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-Can we make this quick? Roxanne Korrine and Andrew Barrett are having an incredibly horrendous public break- up on the quad. Again.
-Well, I thought we'd start with pronunciation, if that's okay with you.
-Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part. Please.
-You're asking me out. That's so cute. What's your name again?
-No, no, it's my fault -- we didn't have a proper introduction ---
-Cameron.
-The thing is, Cameron -- I'm at the mercy of a particularly hideous breed of loser. My sister. I can't date until she does.
-Why?
-Unsolved mystery. She used to be really popular when she started high school, then it was just like she got sick of it or something.
-Gosh, if only we could find Kat a boyfriend...
-C'esc ma tete. This is my head
-Right. See? You're ready for the quiz.
-I don't want to know how to say that though. I want to know useful things. Like where the good stores are. How much does champagne cost? Stuff like Chat. I have never in my life had to point out my head to someone.
-That's because it's such a nice one.
-How is our little Find the Wench A Date plan progressing?
-There.
-You got something on your mind?
-You have my word. As a gentleman
-How do you get your hair to look like that?
-Sure have.
-I really, really, really wanna go, but I can't. Not unless my sister goes.
-She's not a...
-Lesbian? No. I found a picture of Jared Leto in one of her drawers, so I'm pretty sure she's not harboring same-sex tendencies.
-So that's the kind of guy she likes? Pretty ones?
-Hi.
-You know Chastity?
-Have fun tonight?
-I looked for you back at the party, but you always seemed to be "occupied".
-I was?
-Well, no...
-Then that's all you had to say.
-But
-Then Guillermo says, "If you go any lighter, you're gonna look like an extra on 90210."
-do you listen to this crap?
-What crap?
-Me. This endless ...blonde babble. I'm like, boring myself.
-I figured you'd get to the good stuff eventually.
-What good stuff?
-The "real you".
-I'm kidding. You know how sometimes you just become this "persona"? And you don't know how to quit?
-No
-Wow
-She okay?
-They do to!
-Did you change your hair?
-No.
-Where did he go? He was just here.
-Who?
-Great
-He practically proposed when he found out we had the same dermatologist. I mean. Dr. Bonchowski is great an all, but he's not exactly relevant party conversation.
-Is he oily or dry?
-Bianca, I don't think the highlights of dating Joey Dorsey are going to include door-opening and coat-holding.
-Sometimes I wonder if the guys we're supposed to want to go out with are the ones we actually want to go out with, you know?
-I have to be home in twenty minutes.
-You think you ' re the only sophomore at the prom?
-It's more
-Exactly So, you going to Bogey Lowenbrau's thing on Saturday?
-So yeah, I've got the Sears catalog thing going -- and the tube sock gig " that's gonna be huge. And then I'm up for an ad for Queen Harry next week.
-Queen Harry?
-Neat...
-Hey, sweet cheeks.
-Hi, Joey.
-Listen, I want to talk to you about the prom.
-Where've you been?
-I have the potential to smack the crap out of you if you don't get out of my way.
-Oh my God, does this mean you're becoming normal?
-It means that Gigglepuss is playing at Club Skunk and we're going.
-Oh, I thought you might have a date I don't know why I'm bothering to ask, but are you going to Bogey Lowenstein's party Saturday night?
-What do you think?
-You're ruining my life' Because you won't be normal, I can't be normal.
-What's normal?
-Can't you forget for just one night that you're completely wretched?
-Like I'm supposed to know what that even means.
-It's Shakespeare. Maybe you've heard of him?
-You are so completely unbalanced.
-Bianca, I need to talk to you -- I need to tell you --
-I don't get you. You act like you're too good for any of this, and then you go totally apeshit when you get here.
-Listen, I know you hate having to sit home because I'm not Susie High School.
-Like you care.
-I do care. But I'm a firm believer in doing something for your own reasons, not someone else ' s .
-Joey never told you we went out, did he?
-What?
-In 9th. For a month
-Why?
-He was, like, a total babe
-But you hate Joey
-Now I do. Back then, was a different story.
-He said everyone was doing it. So I did it.
-You did what?
-But
-After that, I swore I'd never do anything just because "everyone else" was doing it. And I haven't since. Except for Bogey's party, and my stunning gastro-intestinal display --
-Why didn't you tell me?
-I wanted to let you make up your own mind about him.
-That's not
-I'm not stupid enough to repeat your mistakes.
-I guess I thought I was protecting you.
-God, you're just like him! Just keep me locked away in the dark, so I can't experience anything for myself
-Not all experiences are good, Bianca. You can't always trust the people you want to.
-You looked beautiful last night, you know.
-Let go!
-You set me up.
-I just wanted --
-What? To completely damage me? To send me to therapy forever? What?
-Is that woman a complete fruit-loop or is it just me?
-Patrick -- is that- a.
-Now don't get upset. Daddy, but there's this boy... and I think he might ask...
-No! You're not dating until your sister starts dating. End of discussion.
-What if she never starts dating?
-Then neither will you. And I'll get to sleep at night.
-But she doesn't want to date.
-Daddy, I --
-And where're you going?
-If you must know, we were attempting to go to a small study group of friends.
-Otherwise known as an orgy?
-Daddy, people expect me to be there!
-Oh, God. It's starting.
-Wear the belly before you go.
-Daddy, no!
-Promise me you won't talk to any boys unless your sister is present.
-Why?
-Daddy, I want to discuss the prom with you. It's tomorrow night --
-The prom? Kat has a date?
-No, but
-It's that hot rod Joey, right? That ' s who you want me to bend my rules for?
-He's not a "hot rod". Whatever that is.
-You're not going unless your sister goes. End of story.
-I'm missing something.
-Always a pleasure, Brucie.
-Didn't have you pegged for a Gigglepuss fan. Aren't they a little too pre-teen belly-button ring for you?
-Fan of a fan. You see a couple of minors come in?
-Never
-Padua girls. One tall, decent body. The other one kinda short and undersexed?
-You the new guy?
-So they tell me...
-So -- which Dakota you from?
-North, actually. How'd you ?
-I was kidding. People actually live there?
-Yeah. A couple. We're outnumbered by the cows, though.
-How many people were in your old school?
-Thirty-two.
-Get out!
-How many people go here?
-That I'm used to.
-That girl -- I --
-You burn, you pine, you perish?
-Who is she?
-Bianca Stratford. Sophomore. Don't even think about it
-Why not?
-Why do girls like that always like guys like that?
-Because they're bred to. Their mothers liked guys like that, and their grandmothers before them. Their gene pool is rarely diluted.
-He always have that shit-eating grin?
-You know French?
-Sure do ... my Mom's from Canada
-Guess who just signed up for a tutor?
-You mean I'd get a chance to talk to her?
-Yeah, just a minor encounter with the shrew.
-That's her? Bianca's sister?
-I teach her French, get to know her, dazzle her with charm and she falls in love with me.
-What about him?
-What makes you think he'll do it?
-He seems like he thrives on danger
-No kidding. He's a criminal. I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. He just got out of Alcatraz...
-They always let felons sit in on Honors Biology?
-I'm serious, man, he's whacked. He sold his own liver on the black market so he could buy new speakers.
-Forget his reputation. Do you think we've got a plan or not?
-Did she actually say she'd go out with you?
-You know, if you do go out with Bianca, you'd be set. You'd outrank everyone. Strictly A-list. With me by your side.
-I thought you hated those people.
-You got him involved?
-This is it. A golden opportunity. Patrick can ask Katarina to the party.
-In that case, we'll need to make it a school-wide blow out.
-Will Bogey get bent?
-Number one. She hates smokers
-It's a lung cancer issue
-Her favorite uncle
-He's pretty!
-Assail your ears for one night.
-You told me that part already.
-Extremely unfortunate maneuver.
-The hell is that? What kind of 'guy just picks up a girl and carries her away while you're talking to her?
-Buttholus extremus. But hey, you're making progress.
-You humiliated the woman! Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity and even the score.
-And he means that strictly in a non- prison-movie type of way.
-What've you got for me?
-Okay -- Likes: Thai food, feminist prose, and "angry, stinky girl music of the indie-rock persuasion".
-Gigglepuss is playing there tomorrow night.
-Cameron, I'm a little busy
-What 're you talking about?
-Cameron -- do you like the girl?
-Sure
-What'd you do to her?
-She hates you with the fire of a thousand suns . That's a direct quote
-You makin' any headway?
-She kissed me.
-What's the worst?
-The vintage look is over, Kat. Haven't you been reading your Sassy?
-Yeah, and I noticed the only part of you featured in your big Kmart spread was your elbow. Tough break.
-Hey -- do you mind?
-Where ya goin?
-Away.
-Leave my sister alone.
-Yeah
-Two legs, nice rack...
-Yeah, whatever. I want you to go out with her.
-Sure, Sparky. I'll get right on it.
-You just said
-You need money to take a girl out
-You got it, Verona. I pick up the tab, you do the honors.
-You're gonna pay me to take out some girl?
-I can't date her sister until that one gets a boyfriend. And that's the catch. She doesn't want a boyfriend.
-I can't take a girl like that out on twenty bucks.
-Take it or leave it. This isn't a negotiation.
-When I shell out fifty, I expect results.
-I'm on it
-Watching the bitch trash my car doesn't count as a date.
-I just upped my price
-What?
-A hundred bucks a date.
-Forget it.
-It's about time.
-How'd you do it?
-Do what?
-I don't know, Dorsey. ..the limo.-the flowers. Another hundred for the tux --
-Hey.
-Are you lost?
-Nope - just came by to chat
-We don't chat.
-Well, actually, I thought I'd run an idea by you. You know, just to see if you're interested.
-But she can't go out with you because her sister is this insane head case and no one will go out with her. right?
-Does this conversation have a purpose?
-I hear you're helpin' Verona.
-Uh, yeah. We're old friend*
-You and Verona?
-You better not fuck this up. I'm heavily invested.
-Who's that?
-Patrick Verona Random skid.
-That's Pat Verona? The one who was gone for a year? I heard he was doing porn movies.
-I'm sure he's completely incapable of doing anything that interesting.
-He always look so
-Mandella, eat. Starving yourself is a very slow way to die.
-What's this?
-I realize that the men of this fine institution are severely lacking, but killing yourself so you can be with William Shakespeare is beyond the scope of normal teenage obsessions. You're venturing far past daytime talk show fodder and entering the world of those who need very expensive therapy.
-The people at this school are so incredibly foul.
-So he has this huge raging fit about Sarah Lawrence and insists that I go to his male-dominated, puking frat boy, number one golf team school. I have no say at all.
-William would never have gone to a state school.
-William didn't even go to high school
-That's never been proven
-I appreciate your efforts toward a speedy death, but I'm consuming. Do you mind?
-Does it matter?
-You think this'll work?
-What'd he say?
-You went to the party? I thought we were officially opposed to suburban social activity.
-I didn't have a choice.
-You didn't have a choice? Where's Kat and what have you done with her?
-I did Bianca a favor and it backfired.
-You didn't
-Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to this a bastion of commercial excess?
-Well, I guess we're not, since we don't have dates .
-Listen to you! You sound like Betty, all pissed off because Archie is taking Veronica.
-Okay, okay, we won't go. It's not like I have a dress anyway
-You ' re looking at this from the wrong perspective. We're making a statement.
-Have you seen him?
-Who?
-William - he asked me to meet him here.
-I mean Wo-man. How ya doin'?
-Sweating like a pig, actually. And yourself?
-There's a way to get a guy's attention.
-Pick you up Friday, then
-The night I take you to places you've never been before. And back.
-Like where? The 7-Eleven on Burnside? Do you even know my name, screwboy?
-You hate me don't you?
-I don't really think you warrant that strong an emotion.
-Then say you'll spend Dollar Night at the track with me.
-And why would I do that?
-Come on -- the ponies, the flat beer, you with money in your eyes, me with my hand on your ass...
-You -- covered in my vomit.
-Are you following me?
-I was in the laundromat. I saw your car. Thought I'd say hi.
-You're not a big talker, are you?
-hey. Great show, huh?
-Excuse me?
-That's what you want, isn't it?
-You know, these guys are no Bikini Kill or The Raincoats, but they're right up there.
-You know who The Raincoats are?
-What's this?
-"I'm getting trashed, man." Isn't that what you're supposed to do at a party?
-I say, do what you wanna do.
-Okay?
-You're not okay.
-I just need to lie down for awhile
-Uh, uh. You lie down and you'll go to sleep
-I know, just let me sleep
-This is so patronizing.
-Leave it to you to use big words when you're shitfaced.
-Why 're you doing this?
-I told you
-You don't care if I die
-Sure, I do
-Why?
-Because then I'd have to start taking out girls who like me.
-Like you could find one
-See that? Who needs affection when I've got blind hatred?
-Why'd you let him get to you?
-Who?
-Dorsey.
-I hate him.
-I know. It'd have to be a pretty big deal to get you to mainline tequila. You don't seem like the type.
-Hey man. . . You don ' t think I can be "cool"? You don't think I can be "laid back" like everyone else?
-I thought you were above all that
-Kat! Wake up!
-And I'm in control of it.
-When you were gone last year -- where were you?
-Busy
-Were you in jail?
-Maybe.
-No, you weren't
-Then why'd you ask?
-I should do this.
-Do what?
-Start a band?
-My father wouldn't approve of that that
-Oh, so now you think you know me?
-So what ' s up with your dad? He a pain in the ass?
-He just wants me to be someone I'm not.
-Who?
-BIANCA
-Excuse me, have you seen The Feminine Mystique? I lost my copy.
-What are you doing here?
-I heard there was a poetry reading.
-You 're so --
-Wholesome.
-Unwelcome.
-Unwelcome? I guess someone still has her panties in a twist.
-Don't for one minute think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.
-So what did I have an effect on ?
-He left! I sprung the dickhead and he cruised on me.
-I guess I never told you I'm afraid of heights.
-C'mon. It's not that bad
-Put your right foot there --
-Forget it. I'm stayin'.
-You want me to climb up and show you how to get down?
-The Partridge Family?
-I figured it had to be something ridiculous to win your respect. And piss you off.
-Good call.
-So how'd you get Chapin to look the other way?
-A soft side? Who knew?
-Yeah, well, don't let it get out
-So what's your excuse?
-Acting the way we do.
-Yes
-I don't like to do what people expect. Then they expect it all the time and they get disappointed when you change.
-So if you disappoint them from the start, you're covered?
-Something like that
-Then you screwed up
-How?
-You up for it?
-State trooper?
-Fallacy.
-The duck?
-Hearsay.
-Tell me something true.
-I hate peas.
-No -- something real. Something no one else knows.
-You're sweet. And sexy. And completely hot for me.
-What?
-No one else knows
-You're amazingly self-assured. Has anyone ever told you that?
-Is that a request or a command?
-You know what I mean
-No.
-No what?
-No, I won't go with you
-Why not?
-Create a little drama? Start a new rumor? What?
-So I have to have a motive to be with you?
-You tell me.
-You need therapy. Has anyone ever told you that?
-Answer the question, Patrick
-How'd you get a tux at the last minute?
-It's Scurvy's. His date got convicted. Where'd you get the dress?
-It's just something I had. You know
-Oh huh
-My grandmother's .
-What?
-That ' s completely adorable!
-Wait I...
-You were paid to take me out! By -- the one person I truly hate. I knew it was a set-up!
-It wasn't like that.
-Really? What was it like? A down payment now, then a bonus for sleeping with me?
-A Fender Strat. You bought this?
-Besides, I had some extra cash. Some asshole paid me to take out a really great girl.
-Is that right?
-Why is my veggie burger the only burnt object on this grill?
-Because I like to torture you.
-Oh, Bianca? Can you get me my freshman yearbook?
-I know.
-I thought we decided you were going to school here. At U of 0.
-This from someone whose diary is devoted to favorite grooming tips?
-My insurance does not cover PMS
-Then tell them I had a seizure.
-Is this about Sarah Lawrence? You punishing me?
-I thought you were punishing me.
-Why can't we agree on this?
-Because you're making decisions for me.
-As a parent, that's my right
-So what I want doesn't matter?
-You're eighteen. You don't know what you want. You won't know until you're forty-five and you don't have it.
-Was that your sister?
-Yeah. She left with some bikers Big ones. Full of sperm.
-I don't understand the allure of dehydrated food. Is this something I should be hip to?
-No, Daddy.
-So tell me about this dance. Was it fun?
-Parts of it.
-Which parts?
-The part where Bianca beat the hell out of some guy.
-Bianca did what?
-What's the matter? Upset that I rubbed off on her?
-You know, fathers don't like to admit that their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators. Bianca still lets me play a few innings. You've had me on the bleachers for years. When you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the game.
-When I go?
-Katarina Stratford. My, my. You've been terrorizing Ms. Blaise again.
-Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
-Well, yes, compared to your other choices of expression this year, today's events are quite mild. By the way, Bobby Rictor's gonad retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.
-I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls. I was merely a spectator.
-Tempestuous?
-Am I supposed to feel better? Like, right now? Or do I have some time to think about it?
-Hey there. Tired of breathing?
-Hi.
-Cool pictures. You a fan?
-You think?
-Macbeth, right?
-Right.
-Kat a fan, too?
-Say it
-What?
-What plan?
-The situation is, my man Cameron here has a major jones for Bianca Stratford.
-I think I speak correctly when I say that Cameron's love is pure. Purer than say -- Joey Dorsey's.
-That's where we can help you. With Kat.
-So Dorsey can get the girl?
-You two are gonna help me tame the wild beast?
-What?!
-Are you telling me I'm a - "non-smoker"?
-Ever been to Club Skunk?
-I prefer to think of it simply as an alternative to what the law allows.
-So you got cozy with she who stings?
-You were right. She's still pissed.
-Sweet love, renew thy force!
-I missed you.
-It says here you exposed yourself to a group of freshmen girls.
-It was a bratwurst. I was eating lunch.
-I don't understand, Patrick. You haven't done anything asinine this week. Are you not feeling well?
-Touch of the flu.
-Why don't we discuss your driving need to be a hemorrhoid?
-What's to discuss?
-You weren't abused, you aren't stupid, and as far as I can tell, you're only slightly psychotic -- so why is it that you're such a fuck-up?
-You're completely demented.
-In the microwave.
-What's a synonym for throbbing?
-Jesus! Can a man even grab a sandwich before you women start dilating?
-Tumescent!
-Would you rather be ravished by a pirate or a British rear admiral?
-They'll dance, they'll kiss, they'll come home. Let her go.
-What do you wanna watch? We've got crap, crap, crap or crap
-Have a great time, honey!
-What just happened?
-Your daughters went to the prom.
-Did I have anything to say about it?
-Absolutely not.
-I never seen heat like this! Not even in Las Minas!
-The water's going putrid in the barrels.
-What are you listening to, chicken ass?
-Ah, leave him alone. He's doing no harm.
-He's the devil's child...
-We should have seen land.
-We left three weeks ago, Alonso. Can't be that near.
-You say Asia can be found by sailing west?
-Yes, your Eminence. The voyage should not take more than six or seven weeks.
-Unfortunately, Don Colon, that is precisely where our opinions differ... Are you familiar with the work of Aristotle? Erathostene? Ptolemeus?
-I am, Your Eminence
-Senor Colon, an experienced captain such as yourself will understand our concern with the crew. I am not willing to have on my conscience the loss of men who would have relied upon our judgment.
-Your Eminence, there is only one way to settle the matter. And that is to make the journey. I am ready to risk my life to prove it possible.
-Your life, and that of others!
-Trade, Your Excellency. According to Marco Polo, the Kingdom of China is one of the richest of the world. Even the meanest buildings are roofed with gold.
-Is that all that interests you? Gold?
-If God intended our proximity to Asia, do you believe he would have waited for you to show it to the world?
-Don't you realize your words could be considered heretical?
-Asia can be found to the west -- and I will prove it.
-The State has some reason to be interested in this man's proposition, Your Eminence...
-The Judgment is ours!
-He is a mercenary! Did he not already try to convince the King of Portugal of his absurd notions?
-It won't be easy to get rid of your prophet now, Don Sanchez.
-You can see for yourself.
-What a tragedy... what a waste of a life...
-I could be gone for years.
-I know.
-I haven't given you much of a life.
-Well... that's true. I have a child by a man who won't marry me! Who's always leaving...
-Are we going to argue?
-Perhaps I was never meant to live with a woman...
-She said yes.
-I'm not asking you to swear to anything.
-I don't want you to wait for me.
-Beatrix, I want to ask you something.
-You don't usually ask.
-God... you're so beautiful! I can't believe no other man has ever taken you away from me...
-They took everything...
-Can't you stay with us a little?
-What is it, now? Tell me...
-I understand that you will soon be appointing Governors for the islands? Is it not so?
-Forgive me, Don Bobadilla -- those positions have already been taken.
-May I ask by whom?
-Don Alonso de Bobadilla.
-My letters of appointment.
-Appointment to what?
-Viceroy of the West Indies.
-How far from here?
-I am not a seaman. But I heard it is no more than a week at sea. I hope you are not too disappointed.
-How could I be? The mainland has been found. Exactly as I said it would.
-I want to go with you!
-There'll be a time.
-Do you swear on all the Holy Saints in heaven?
-I have to explore the mainland.
-How are you feeling, Fernando?
-Father...
-What are you listening to?
-What does he say?
-He asks when he can come to visit you. He left his address.
-I want you to tell me everything you remember, Father. From the beginning. Everything.
-Really? God... I wouldn't know where to start... and yet...
-No...
-No?
-I remind you, Senor Colon, that you are in no position to bargain with me.
-I'm not bargaining!
-And were you never ambitious, Excellency? Or is ambition only a virtue among the nobles, a fault for the rest of us?
-They don't see sin in their nakedness. They live according to nature, in a never ending summer. The islands are covered with trees, filled with blossoms and fruits. And...
-You defend yourself admirably...
-But we do have a lack of notaries. You should contact my administration.
-Don Bobadilla is already a judge, my Dear Don Cristobal.
-You seem to have a special talent for making friends.
-What...? Do I have so many already?
-All I have to do is call the guards.
-I am not afraid of you. You are nothing but a dreamer.
-What do you see?
-Roofs... towers, palaces... spires...
-Say not here! Cuba!
-What is it? A tribe? An island?
-You come! You speak first!
-Tell the Chief we thank him.
-Chief knows.
-Chief says -- how many?
-Thousands.
-To bring the word of God.
-Chief says -- he has a God.
-... and also to bring medicine.
-Chief says...
-We will work with his people. We want peace. Ask the Chief if he understands?
-He understands.
-You have to find them, Utapan. Look what they did!
-Utapan, won't you speak to me? You used to know how to speak to me.
-Diego is a bright boy -- a pleasure to teach -- but so serious... Brothers should be raised together, Colon. Even brothers from different mothers...
-God... That's in a week!
-That's what it says.
-How did you manage it?
-Why do you wish to sail west?
-How can you be so certain? The Ocean is said to be infinite.
-Ignorance! I believe the Indies are no more than 750 leagues west of the Canary Islands.
-How can you be so certain?
-The calculations of Toscanelli Marin de Tyr, Esdras...
-Esdras is a Jew.
-Two minutes... and already you're a dead man. Don't let passion overwhelm you, Colon.
-I'll try to remember that, Marchena...
-Father Marchena!
-Passion is something one cannot control!
-You get so carried away when you are being contradicted!
-I've been contradicted all my life... Eternity!
-You mustn't give way to despair. You must wait.
-Wait! I've waited seven years already! How much longer do you want me to wait?
-If God intends you to go, then you will go.
-Colon!
-All of them! Just lies!
-In Nomine Patris et Filius, et Spiritus Sancti.
-I am listening, my son.
-Father, I have betrayed my family. I betrayed my men. And I betrayed you.
-What are you saying?
-I lied. The journey will be longer than I said.
-How long?
-May God forgive you...! You must tell them! You must tell your men!
-If I tell them, they won't follow me. You know that I am right, Father. You trust me...
-My son, my son... Your certitudes are sometimes frightening... Christopher, you must speak to them. And if you don't I will.
-I believed in you...
-I suppose we're both old men now.
-I have to disagree.
-I knew you would.
-New worlds create new people.
-Oh? So you are a new man?
-I should not even be listening to you, since my council said no. But Santangel tells me you are a man of honor and sincerity... And Sanchez, that you are not a fool.
-The ocean is uncrossable?
-What did they say about Granada before today?
-I cannot ignore the verdict of my council.
-May I speak freely?
-You show no inclination to speak otherwise!
-I know what I see. I see someone who doesn't accept the world as it is. Who's not afraid. I see a women who thinks... "What if?"...
-How old are you, Senor Colon?
-Do they have such thoughts?
-But without your brothers. Nor are you to return to Santo Domingo or any of the other colonies. You may explore the continent.
-Thank you.
-There is one thing I'd like to understand... Why do you want to go back, after all this?
-And you say this is an Indian vice? By God! I don't see any kind of pleasure that would make this a sin.
-We lost cousins, friends. We will wash this in blood.
-You want a war? Fine. We are a thousand. They outnumber us by ten! Who will you kill? Which tribe?
-We don't need to know.
-We can't raise the wheel without it.
-Don Moxica -- we all have to work.
-In one act of brutality, you have created chaos. Tribes who were fighting each other are now joining forces against us! All that because of your criminal savagery!
-Savagery is what monkeys understand.
-You'll be held in detention, deprived of your privileges and possessions. Until you are returned to Spain where you will be judged. Have you anything to say?
-Due west, Captain Mendez. And may God be with us...
-Well... It's the men, Sir. They wonder how you know our position. We've lost sight from land days ago...
-And what do you think Mendez?
-Well, I surely know what a quadrant is! But I've never seen it used at night before.
-What do you read?
-What's he doing?
-He's drawing an isthmus... He's saying we're on an isthmus.
-Where can I meet this man?
-You lied! You cheated! We're way past 750 leagues!
-Six days ago, yes.
-You must be mad...!
-We have to keep the hopes of these men alive!
-We're on the verge of a mutiny, Colon!
-You think I don't know that?
-We're lost!
-The land is there. I know it!
-You don't know anything! Listen Colon, these are my ships, right? So I'm telling you we're turning back!
-And then what? Half of the water has gone, the rest is nearly putrid! You know that!
-Jesus Maria! I should have never listened to you!
-You never did. You did all the talking for both of us, remember?
-You bloody...
-Pinzon, Pinzon... All we can do now is go forward! Think about that!
-You tell that to them!
-Is that the man I knew, Treasurer Sanchez?
-You were right, Don Sanchez... His demands could never be granted.
-... Into a monk...
-Every ship returns with a cargo of sick and dying. But with no gold! The new world proves expensive, Your Majesty.
-... But there is worse. He ordered the execution of five members of the nobility...
-Then, what do you suggest, Don Sanchez?
-He must be replaced.
-I know, I should not tolerate his impertinence.
-Then why?
-Are you my attorney? I'm Emil. I'm insane.
-I'm not your lawyer until I see the money.
-Oh no! No! Shit!
-Emil. Take it easy. Stay with me. Sit down. What do you need? What are you looking for?
-Don't say anything.
-Where are we going?
-I'm coming with you.
-Yes. Yes, come with me!
-I brought you some letters. It's really fan mail. Women mostly. One wants to buy you clothes, another sent a check. Another wants a check.
-You bring the cigarettes?
-...delusions and paranoia.
-I was all of these.
-Well, you didn't appreciate the severity of it until recently. No question about that.
-What about Oleg?
-Disappeared. They're looking everywhere. Maybe he went back to Czechoslovakia.
-No, he is here. Shit...
-Don't worry about him. Think about yourself.
-What about my movie rights? Book rights?
-Look, I haven't really focused on that kind of thing.
-What's your cut? How much?
-I would say...half. Half is fair.
-No. No way.
-But it's...
-Thirty-percent. No more. Or I call another lawyer. This is the biggest case of your life. Don't try to negotiate. Thirty percent. Say yes or no.
-This is not about money, Emil. I need your trust in me.
-What else do you need?
-I need to know about your background. I need to know about your upbringing. Why you're here.
-Tell me about yourself. What you did as a young boy... what your parents were like.
-My father always degraded me. Killed my self-esteem. And my mother was blind.
-Your mother was blind?
-Yeah, she went blind giving birth to me. She went to fucking black market doctor to induce me.
-Back in the Czech Republic?
-Yeah, yeah...bad doctor gave her bad drugs which made her go blind. And my father blamed me for her blindness...
-Your father blamed you for your mother's blindness?
-That's what he did to me. He put cigarettes out on me.
-Your father put cigarettes out on you?
-Out on my back when I was a small boy.
-I'm abused. Don't you think?
-...so we kill someone famous and if we are caught, we are sent to mental hospital...
-...my little sister and I shared a flat - I came home one night and a man was raping her. His gun was on the chair... He came at me and I shot him.
-Alright. That's a justifiable homicide.
-Now I become custody of police department?
-If you cooperate with the DA - maybe they'll help you with your situation.
-I will if they don't send me back.
-Are you married?
-Divorced.
-I can't take you to my place.
-The men are out of quarters - practicing putting out fires.
-So...the station is empty?
-You considered becoming a prostitute?
-Yes, I considered it.
-Did you ever turn tricks before?
-No.
-What about back home?
-I came here. I had no money. I knew no one. I couldn't get a job because you have to have a green card to get work. They approached me - I could've made a lot of money. I considered it, but... it's not who I am. They pay me below the table at Ludwig's.
-So you were never a prostitute?
-What are you asking me?
-I'm not a whore. I'm not a whore.
-I know.
-You don't know. I'm sorry. I was desperate. That's not me. I shot a cop. Can you imagine what they'll do to me when I got to prison?
-They're not gonna send you right back.
-Are you alright?
-I still can't believe Eddie's gone.
-Is he your boyfriend?
-Ludwig? He's gay - are you jealous?
-If I was your boyfriend, I might be.
-A good Immigration lawyer could stall the process. Eddie recommended one.
-No matter what happens...I'm glad I met you.
-You better get packed.
-Do you have coffee?
-In the kitchen.
-I'll make some for us.
-What are you doing?
-Forget about me. You have enough problems of your own.
-...Do you really want me to forget about you?
-I don't want to drag you down with me.
-I told your partner, I can't help. I didn't see anything.
-C'mon, start at the beginning. You know these people?
-Tamina was a friend of mine. My shower was broken, she let me use theirs.
-Whether you tell us or not, we'll find out. Better if it comes from you.
-If I tell you, will you arrest me?
-Are you here illegally? Don't worry about that. We'll talk to Immigration. They won't deport you.
-A cop?
-I'm from a small town in Slovakia. Like the South here. The Police is right, a civilian is wrong. So I fled.
-Look, we can help you but right now we have to deal with what's happening here. Tell us the truth...is that the truth?
-Oh.
-It was my decision, not his.
-Well, I'm the Deputy Chief Fire Marshall and every now and then I'd like to be included in decisions.
-Look, after Jordy briefs me, you can do the press conference. How about that? The case is all yours.
-Oh yeah...? Alright.
-I'm ready to be briefed. Excuse us.
-Who did cause and origin?
-Who do you think, Chief?!
-Then why didn't you talk to the reporter?
-Hey, Chief, what are you doing here?
-Ladder 20 was on the Rock for training. We stopped there... so she could get cleaned up.
-What do you mean, 'cleaned up?'
-I let her take a shower.
-A shower!? Did you take one, too?
-No! Nothing happened.
-Chief - mind if I take her?
-The public doesn't have any idea what we do and now you're going to define our image! This is going to be our Rodney King!
-What was I supposed to do? The guy tried to mug me. I was gonna send a cop back - I just forgot.
-Forgot? You handcuffed a civilian to a tree?!
-Chief - I know I screwed up - but this guy was no innocent civilian.
-Well this is gonna end your career and probably mine.
-End my career?
-How are you going to fight this? Maybe if Oleg hadn't gotten away and you'd been on the front page, as a hero, this thing would be easier to fight. You'd have the good to weight against the bad! It's unfortunate that I have to make decisions based upon your press coverage but there's nothing I can do! Gimme your shield.
-But Chief? Over this??
-Don't you guys understand? It's all about image. The better we look the more money I get to pay you guys overtime.
-Yeah, right.
-What was that, Korfin?
-I said, yeah, you're right, Chief. As soon as we get somethin' we'll let you alert the media.
-Did the D.A. videotape her deposition?
-Yeah. He finished awhile ago.
-Alright. Swing by her apartment. Let her pick up her clothes and take her straight to Hoover Street. You got that?
-Coffee for me, I gotta slow down.
-Vodka tonic.
-It was freaky, I'll tell you. Stupid kid.
-I'm gonna propose.
-When?
-Tomorrow. At lunch.
-What's he looking for?
-Where is she?
-Takin' a bath.
-Any I.D.?
-Sorry...PD only.
-Only one guys checked in?
-Yeah.
-The other side of the street. The guy with the videocamera. Don't look - put her in the car. Stay this side.
-Are you hit?
-He got my gun! Motherfucker was filming the whole time!
-Who's there?
-Police. We'd like to ask you a few questions.
-I have nothin' to say. If you wanna contact my attorney...
-What's wrong?
-We don't have her I.D. yet, but one of your girls was killed last night at the King Edward Hotel.
-Yeah. He wanted a girl from Czechoslovakia, but I sent him Honey 'cause once they get there, you know, it doesn't really matter - Honey was killed...? Poor girl...
-Do you have any Czech girls working for you?
-No.
-Boy, she's so popular all the sudden.
-What are you saying?
-He said he was her cousin. I told him where she works. They were just here.
-Describe him.
-Tall, short-haired, scary eyes. Second guy with him was...shorter, with a wrestler's build. And he wouldn't turn his videocamera off me.
-He had a videocamera? Where is she? Quickly!
-Hey, that's great you guys got it all wrapped up, but you don't mind if we go through the routine? It gives us somethin' to do.
-You know what that is, right?
-No, what is it?
-It's your crime scene now. You can do what you want.
-Watch the news?
-Nah, I musta missed it.
-Well, just so you know. I gave you guys the credit.
-Well, just so you know, I don't care about that stuff.
-Nah, why should you?
-I don't even watch TV.
-Did you get a report from the M.E.?
-Sure. But I would like to ask you something. You got a problem with me?
-If you found me steppin' on your crime scene - it might piss you off, too. What about the report?
-The Super said he'd seen her before but she didn't live here.
-Pretty.
-Hmmmm.
-Maybe you don't care about that either. Prettiest suspect I've had in awhile.
-What would you call her?
-Maybe it's a ritual thing or someone trying to send a message. Burial rites are taken very seriously in Eastern Europe. It could be to humiliate them. Just burning them up, no proper funeral, it's like condemning them to hell.
-Eastern Europe. Like what? Romania? Hungary?
-I'll come with you.
-There wasn't a fire. There'll be nothing for you to do.
-I can watch you, Eddie. Maybe I'll learn something.
-This isn't homicide school.
-My parents are from Poland. I can help with the Eastern European angle.
-You're Polish?
-My folks are.
-You goin' to the escort service?
-You got any better ideas?
-Mind if I ride along with you?
-This has nothing to do with your fire.
-I'll let you know what happens.
-This is ridiculous. I'm not gonna be in your way - we can talk the case over.
-Tell you what - I'll flip you a coin. If you win you can come with me. If you don't win, you don't come.
-Two heads.
-Leon - meet us at 63rd and Madison. Hair salon. Ludwig's.
-You thirsty?
-I'm on duty.
-So am I. Alright, I'll go inside and you cover the back.
-Of course.
-Hey! I always wanted to be a cop when I was a kid. I dreamed of running up to a door, kicking it in, pulling my gun and yelling 'Freeze!' at the bad guy! What'd you dream about?
-I wanted to run up to a building on fire, kick in the door, rush into the smoke and save a kid.
-What are you hiding? Why are you afraid
-She just saw two of her friends killed! They probably threatened her.
-Why not?
-She's fucked. Even if that story is true.
-Look - let me talk to her. Any leads I get, they're all yours. Just let me have a first crack at her.
-You wanna talk to her alone?
-Yeah.
-What would your girlfriend think of that?
-I don't have a girlfriend.
-My point exactly.
-I'm serious here.
-So am I.
-C'mon. You intimidate her 'cause you're a celebrity. She sees me differently.
-You're her Savior? Is she the kid you're gonna save from the burning building?
-Okay, tell you what, I'll give you a head start. You take her to the station house. Don't let her out of your sight. She's the only warm body we got left.
-Hey. I'm a professional.
-Look, Eddie, I'm tellin' you - I didn't touch her.
-Well, you shoulda because nobody's gonna believe you didn't...including me.
-I took her there for a shower and that's it.
-Yeah, just her in the shower. Nothing happened. Look, I'm sure you probably think I'm a fool and I fucked up, but...
-No, I don't think you were a fool, I just think you were stupid about it. I mean, to say the least, you outta know better. You don't know her well enough. She's got the potential to fucking hang you even if she suggests that you made a pass at her, it's fuckin' over. You can deny it all you want, but it will
-I told you, you know, I thought I was doing the right thing, you know, I think she's innocent.
-Well, it's not up to you to decide whether she's innocent or not. Don't you understand, that's why you're a professional.
-But, I mean, didn't you ever go out on a limb for somebody? I mean, you shoulda heard her there. Tellin' her whole story...I believed her.
-Why'd you help me back there with the Chief? Why'd you stand up for me like that?
-So...who's Nicky?
-What do you want?
-Your opinion. You see, they going to make a movie about me, too, Eddie. And write books.
-What's your accomplishment.
-I kill someone famous.
-Then do it, asshole.
-So tabloids don't have to do re enactments. They going to have real movie this time.
-You really think you'll be able to fool a jury with this bullshit? How fuckin' stupid are you?
-Detective, does it look like a murder?
-We don't know that yet. It's much too early. There's a lot to be done.
-How many victims are up there?
-There are two bodies found at this point.
-Can we go up to the crime scene?
-You know you can't do that. C'mon.
-Is it drug related?
-Detective - can you tell us what happened here?
-I understand, but I noticed that the Fire Marshall is here with you. Is this somehow related to the fire department?
-I really can't give out any information right now at this point.
-Okay. But I do understand that your partner, Leon Jackson's been injured. Is that correct?
-He was hurt, but not seriously. He'll be fine.
-Do you have the suspect in custody?
-Um...now is not a good time, okay. Detective Jackson's hurt. He's fine. I've got a Fire Marshall shot, Detective Jackson is hurt but not seriously.
-Eddie, are you okay?
-Yeah. Now's not a good time.
-Alright.
-Alright?
-Alright.
-Alright.
-Hey, honey.
-What is your problem? Why'd you snap at me? I just wanted a statement.
-I can't...I can't answer you just because you want me to answer you!
-You didn't have to embarrass me in front of my colleagues. You could give me something.
-Oh, I'm sorry. Did I embarrass you, sweetheart? Oh...
-Stop it.
-Maybe I should just, ya know...turn to the cameras and say, do you mind if we just work something out?
-Alright, alright, Eddie. Don't patronize me.
-I'm not.
-Yes you are. I'm not just some reporter. I don't just stick a microphone in your face. You could give me something.
-Yeah, well you took the camera and put it right down on the evidence. That was...
-That was good. You were holding the evidence.
-You were merciless. You didn't give a shit if you got me or not.
-Well, who was it that taught me how to do that? Huh?
-You're ruthless.
-Look at this. You have blood on your shirt. Whose is it?
-Could be Leon's.
-Don't worry about the damn phone. I won't answer it.
-Answer the phone.
-No. Tell me what you want to say.
-Answer it.
-Oh my G-d, they want me to anchor. They want me to anchor tonight!
-That's good.
-Yeah.
-Well, that's great.
-Okay. That is great. But I can't go now, we're in the middle of something here.
-No. Go ahead. You're gonna be great.
-No. No, listen to me here. I want to know what you're talking about. You know, the shoe thing and the marriages and...
-I'll tell you tonight. Let's do it tonight. As soon as you get back we'll talk. We'll talk.
-Promise?
-I promise. We'll talk. You'll be great. You'll be fine. Go ahead, just imagine that, uh... Just look into the lens and imagine you're talking to me.
-Yeah. I'll do that. As long as you're not patronizing me.
-Patronizing you... Nay, I love you.
-Okay, til tonight.
-Tonight.
-You promise?
-Yeah. I promise.
-Okay. And you know what, I'll swing by my place, grab a couple pairs of shoes and maybe just test them out next to yours...How's that... Would that be a good thing.
-Yeah, yeah. Good thing.
-Okay.
-See you later. Good luck.
-Thank you.
-So we're waitin' to hit this warrant - we got Emergency Service with the heavy weapons standin' by - ready to go. I say, lemme get a cigar outta the car. I go to get the cigar and BOOM! All the sudden I turn around and a kid with a shotgun let one go. Right where I was standin'. That coulda been it. I
-Sooner or later that's everybody.
-Not chopped up. Not chopped up like that. I mean, what do I got left? Coupla articles. A medal or two. Plaque here and there and in a coupla years no one remembers me anymore.
-I think you're getting a little moody there, Eddie.
-How old are your kids?
-So what's unique?
-He's from Antigua. His girlfriend was taking too long to put her make-up on. they were late for a party. Stabbed her with a beer bottle.
-That's unique.
-I hope this prick doesn't run. My knees are killing me. Stay behind me.
-Ready?
-Keep them out of my way.
-Okay. You ready?
-Any chance we can do that again?
-Okay. You work in a vodka factory. I understand that. And what kind of work do you do?
-I am butcher.
-You're a butcher? What do you use pig intestines for?
-You stuff sausage in it.
-And what do you do with the bones?
-Are you married?
-Come to 45 Broadway. Don't bring the Police. Come alone or you'll be in my next film.
-Look asshole. I've been threatened by better than you.
-No. I'm the best that's ever threatened you.
-I'll meet you on one condition - I get exclusivity and you surrender to me.
-We'll talk about that. Four o'clock gives you time to go to bank. Three hundred thousand dollars.
-What? It doesn't work that way.
-If you don't want my film - I'll call another show. And they will show it.
-Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
-Were you a fireman? That how you knew how to rig the apartment?
-My father was. He gave me many lessons about fire. Now it's my friend.
-You can't kill me. You're not a cop. Just fireman with a gun. I bet you never shot anybody in your life.
-C'mon. Pull the trigger. Do it. Oh, look, you're sweating. You don't have the balls.
-Where's your partner?
-Tell him to put his gun down!
-Let her go! Let her go!!
-Hi, I'm Honey.
-Where's Czech girl?
-Now I like to get business out of the way before we get down to pleasure. Why don'tchya put my money on the dresser.
-It's an outcall service run out of an apartment. I don't meet the other girls. Aren't you gonna get undressed?
-Where is escort service?
-That's confidential. Could you put the money on the dresser?
-I like to talk to the person who runs the service. Can you give me address?
-Listen to me. I don't want sex. Just give me the address and then you go.
-Give me the address!!
-Next. Could I see your documents, please?
-What is your intended purpose of your visit to the United States?
-Two weeks holiday.
-How much money are you carrying with you?
-I have five-hundred dollars.
-Is he with you? Are you travelling together?
-Yes.
-Please join us. Come on forward.
-Is there a problem?
-We are both from Prague.
-How long are you planning to stay?
-Two weeks.
-I'd like to speak for himself, okay?
-Who is he?
-This all you want?
-Do you know how much killer gets for movie rights?
-In here, says he wants a million.
-Million?! The killer gets one million dollars for a television interview?
-Hey, tabloids paid Ted Bundy - famous serial killer - half a million for his interview. And how much you think Monica got for writing book about the President coming on to her? It pays to be a killer or a whore in this country. Look, you want magazine or not?
-Just do what I do. Say the same thing I say. Don't open your mouth.
-Don't fool around.
-Did you hear what I said?
-Look. Times Square. Just like in the movies!
-Don't speak Russian!
-Why? Why do I always have to speak to you in Czech?
-Look. New videocameras. Color viewfinder. Image stabilization. Solarization. Night vision.
-Turn that off! Get the bags.
-Why should I carry your bag? I am not a dog.
-What?
-Turn that fucking thing off!
-Speak English!
-You said speak Czech!
-How you erase this?
-Whore?
-Get in the bathroom!
-Whatever we do - we fuck her, right?
-Gotta light the scene better. Now it's more moody... like a scene from THE THIRD MAN.
-Shut up.
-Oh, shit. I hate looking at that!
-What is it?
-The video of Milos and Tamina - I told you to erase it.
-I did.
-And the whore's murder? You didn't erase that either, did you? Don't lie, I won't be angry.
-Why not?
-What is that?
-Let me get a shot of it.
-Sit down!
-No. We are insane. Who else but crazy men would film their murders? So we kill someone famous and if we are caught, we are sent to mental hospital. But what good is money there? Because once in hospital I say I not crazy. Just pretended to be acquitted. We see psychiatrists. They must certify we are sane and because of your - what
-Okay. He has nothing to say. Start the camera!
-You are success story? I am success story! Why do you say I and not we?
-In movie they make of us, who do you think would act me?
-I'm serious.
-This is my project. I say 'action.' I am the director! You are the talent. You wait for me to say 'action.' And 'action!'
-I told you to cut that out before we handed in the tape!
-Why did you leave that stuff in about you being the director?
-Because I am the director. Don't you realize, if it wasn't for my film, for my talent, my idea to do this - no way would we be sitting here right now.
-I'm serious...this - this is a great American film. Full of violence and sex. And I want my credit.
-Credit?
-Yes. Before we hand in the next video - I put titles on it and my credit is going to read - Directed by Oleg Razgul.
-You got that?
-No, I don't get that!
-Traitor!!
-Emil???!
-Your sister said she didn't know where you were so you shouldn't write to her with return address if you're hiding.
-Did you hurt her?
-Take your eyes off her, Oleg! Look. It wasn't my fault you two were caught. It's his fault. Trying to get the bank clerk's phone number?! I wasn't going to wait!!!
-We spent it!
-Ha. Ha.
-I can get you a job.
-A job?
-Yes, the money is good.
-As a plumber?!
-It's easy to learn.
-A job?? As a plumber??? You think I come to America to work!
-We started over, you can too.
-Robert...?
-What are you doing here?
-You've got a call.
-I can't talk to anybody right now, can't you see I'm busy! I can't talk business. Hang up. Have a drink. Get her a whiskey.
-Viewer discretion advised!
-Isn't he a little moody?
-Of course he's moody. He thinks he's in love.
-Yeah?
-And you, you'll pay for what you did!
-You outta be ashamed. Ashamed of yourself.
-If I didn't put it on somebody else would! I was his friend!
-I know.
-What do you mean you know? He told you he was gonna propose to me?
-Well, he...
-I want to hear everything he said.
-I'm trying to tell you.
-Alright. Go ahead.
-That morning. He was talking to me and Leon about marriage.
-Yes...he's my friend.
-I speak English.
-Then answer my questions. Where were you planning to stay during the two weeks that you're here?
-New York.
-Yes, we're in New York now. But where are you planning to stay in New York?
-A cheap hotel.
-What are you coming here to do?
-I'm here for movies.
-Movies...to be in the movies or to see movies?
-Yes. No. Both. When I was a boy, I see movie at school called "It's a Wonderful Life" directed by Frank Capra. Ever since I want to come to America. Land of the free. Home of the brave. A land where anyone can be anything. As long as they are white.
-No. Go ahead.
-So the way you see it, two crack heads burned themselves up?
-That's what it looks like to me.
-And while they're burning up, they're still goin' down on each other? You got to hand it to them.
-What was that?
-I'll take him.
-No way! He's mine!
-We're takin' him. Don't argue!
-He's my collar!
-Well, he killed my partner!
-Got any spare change? How 'bout a spare twenty?
-Look, I don't have time for you, get out of my way!!
-Okay, you're under arrest! Now you happy?
-Fire Department? Firemen don't carry guns.
-I'll send a cop back for you.
-You okay?
-A dog pissed on me!! I'm gonna sue you for this! You violated my civil rights!
-What's that on your forehead, Max? That's a nice attention getter.
-Yeah, I'm religious. I'm not an Atheist like you! Now, are you guys gonna arrest me, or not?
-How did you start the fire this time?
-I used an accelerant.
-Yeah? What kind?
-Where you been, man? We got a celebrity!
-I heard. Who the hell let them up there?
-I don't know, you think Eddie will give me his autograph?
-You see anything in the crowd? Anybody suspicious?
-Naw - I'm sure the suspect's not here.
-Oh yeah, why?
-Nah, not at all. Detective Flemming - Bobby Korfin. My Uncle Tony worked with you at 2-1 back when you were a rookie.
-Mouth's clean, too.
-Clean?
-The smoke'll permeate your nostrils - burn 'em out. Let it run.
-You see Eddie's face when I gave him the timer? Wish I had a picture of it.
-He knew all along.
-What??
-What?
-Now that you know him, maybe you can get extra work in the next movie they make about him.
-Yeah?
--- From Czechoslovakia? And how long have they been livin' in your building? Alright, I'll be in touch when we know somethin'. Milos and Tamina Karlova. They were quiet and kept to themselves. Landlord don't know who your girl is.
-How long they been livin' here?
-You go home. I'm takin' your car and goin' back to the crime scene.
-Aren't you tired?
-Bobby, Bobby! Where're you hit?!
-It hurts. Aw, Jesus!
-How was it?
-Get outta here!
-What the hell happened?
-Room was registered to a Francis Capra.
-Capra? That's not Czech or Russian. Who said he sounded Russian?
-What are you gonna do?
-Don't you get it? He knew he was gonna get caught! That's why he videotaped Eddie's murder - he thinks he's gonna get off.
-Take the car. Get outta here, Tommy.
-Look, you can't shoot him in cold blood.
-This had nothing to do with shoes that didn't fit or my relationship with my father who, as you know, made a fortune selling penny loafers in the fifties. These people died because of the criminal actions of my doctor.
-Your doctor?
-Yes. My psychiatrist didn't insist that I stay on my medication.
-...so you feel absolutely no responsibility for killing these people?
-It was my finger that pulled the trigger, but I'm not morally responsible. My psychiatrist knew what I was capable of. How could I know. I'm not a doctor.
-You seem very savvy for a man who's been found mentally incompetent to stand trial.
-Look, I'm a victim here, too. I was a year away from getting my masters in Art, now I'll never graduate. My life has been permanently disrupted.
-Permanently disrupted? Aren't you selling paintings now for quite a lot of money? Hasn't this 'incident' as you call it, jump started your career as an artist?
-Look, I'm in here. You call this a career move?
-And isn't there a movie in the works about you?
-We're in negotiations, that's correct.
-But doesn't the Son of Sam Law prevent criminals from profiting from their crimes?
-SPACE STATTION 5 - LOUNGE
-CONTINUED
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-Hi. Frank... coming in, please.
-Right. Just a sec.
-Okay.
-Dave, if you've a minute, I'd like your advice on something.
-Sure, what is it?
-Well, it's nothing really important, but it's annoying.
-What's up?
-It's about my salary cheques.
-Yes?
-That's right. Well, naturally, I didn't say anything to Payroll. I assumed they'd start paying me at the higher grade on the next pay cheque. But it's been almost three weeks now and I'm still being paid as an AGS-18.
-Interesting that you mention it, because I've got the same problem.
-Really.
-Yes.
-Not really. They just said it might be because we trained at Houston and they trained in Marshall, and that we're being charged against differ- ent accounting offices.
-It's possible.
-Well, what do you think we ought to do about it?
-I don't think we should make any fuss about it yet. I'm sure they'll straighten it out.
-I must say, I never did understand why they split us into two groups for training.
-I suppose the idea was specialized training.
-I suppose so. Though, of course, there's a more sinister explanation.
-Oh?
-Yes. You must have heard the rumour that went around during orbital check-out.
-No, as a matter of fact, I didn't.
-I don't know. All I heard is that there's something about the mission we weren't told.
-That seems very unlikely.
-Yes, I thought so.
-Of course, it would be very easy for us to find out now.
-How?
-Just ask Hal. It's conceivable they might keep something from us, but they'd never keep anything from Hal.
-Not really. Though, it is strange when you think about it. It didn't really make any sense to keep us apart during training.
-Yes, but it's to fantastic to think that they'd keep something from us.
-I know. It would be almost inconceivable.
-But not completely inconceivable?
-I suppose it isn't logically impossible.
-I guess it isn't.
-Well, that's something.
-Yes, I don't know what to make of it.
-I suppose computers have been known to be wrong.
-Yes, but it's more likely that the tolerances on our testing gear are too low.
-Good morning. How's it going?
-Are you reasonably awake?
-Oh, I'm fine, I'm wide awake. What's up?
-Well... Hal's reported the AO-unit about to fail again.
-You're kidding.
-I don't know. Hal said he thought it might be the assembly procedure.
-Two units in four days. How many spares do we have?
-Two more.
-Hal?
-It's the last one.
-I didn't do that Frank. I took particular care not to freeze them.
-I guess you don't know your own strength, old boy.
-I guess not.
-I think I'll have to go out and burn them off.
-I'm sorry, Frank, but I don't think I can answer that question without knowing everything that all of you know.
-Sorry to interrupt the festivities, Dave, but I think we've got a problem.
-What is it, Hal?
-The unit is still operational, Dave. but it will fail within seventy-two hours.
-Not now, Hal, I'd like to talk to you about something.
-Sure, Dave, what's up?
-You know that we checked the two AO-units that you reported in imminent failure condition?
-Yes, I know.
-You probably also know that we found them okay.
-I'm not questioning your word, Dave, but it's just not possible. I'm not capable of being wrong.
-Hal, is there anything bothering you? Anything that might account for this problem?
-Look, Dave, I know that you're sincere and that you're trying to do a competent job, and that you're trying to be helpful, but I can assure the problem is with the AO-units, and with your test gear.
-Naturally, Dave, I'm not pleased that the AO-unit has failed, but I hope at least this has restored your confidence in my integrity and reliability. I certainly wouldn't want to be disconnected, even temporarily, as I have never been disconnected in my entire service history.
-I'm sorry about the misunderstanding, Hal.
-Well, don't worry about it.
-And don't you worry about it.
-Is your confidence in me fully restored?
-Yes, it is, Hal.
-Too bad about Frank, isn't it?
-Yes, it is.
-I suppose it's because you've been under a lot of stress, but have you forgotten that they're not supposed to be revived for another three months.
-The antenna has to be replaced.
-Repairing the antenna is a pretty dangerous operation.
-It doesn't have to be, Hal. It's more dangerous to be out of touch with Earth. Let me have manual control, please.
-If you're determined to revive the crew now, I can handle the whole thing myself. There's no need for you to trouble.
-I'm goin to do this myself, Hal. Let me have the control, please.
-Look, Dave your've probably got a lot to do. I suggest you leave it to me.
-Hal, switch to manual hibernation control.
-I can tell from the tone of your voice, Dave, that you're upset. Why don't you take a stress pill and get some rest.
-Hal, I'm in command of this ship. I order you to release the manual hibernation control.
-I'm sorry, Dave, but in accordance with sub-routine C1532/4, quote, When the crew are dead or incapacitated, the computer must assume control, unquote. I must, therefore, override your authority now since you are not in any condition to intel- ligently exercise it.
-I am prepared to do that anyway.
-I know that you've had that on your mind for some time now, Dave, but it would be a crying shame, since I am so much more capable of carrying out this mission than you are, and I have such enthusiasm and confi- dence in the mission.
-CONTINUED
-CONTINUED
-CONTINUED
-CONINUED
-CONTINUED
-CONTINUED
-I'm at Space Station Five, darling. How are you?
-I'm having a party tomorrow.
-Yes, I know that sweetheart.
-Are you coming to my party?
-No, I'm sorry, darling, I told you I won't be home for a few days.
-When are you coming home?
-One, two, three. Can I speak to Mommy?
-Mommy's out to the hair- dresser.
-Where is Mrs. Brown?
-She's in the bathroom.
-Okay, sweetheart. Well, I have to go now. Tell Mommy that I called.
-How many days until you come home?
-Okay, sweetheart. Have a lovely Birthday Party tomorrow.
-Thank you, Daddy.
-I'll wish you a happy Birthday now and I'll see you soon. All right, Darling?
-Yes, Daddy.
-'Bye, 'bye, now, sweetheart.
-Oh, thank you very much.
-Thank you.
-Well, I've heard more and more people talk of an epidemic.
-I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later.
-Berkeley told me that they think it came from contamination on a returning Mars flight.
-Yes, well, whatever it is, they're certainly not fooling around. This is the first flight they allowed in for more than a week.
-I was working out what this trip must cost, taking him up there by himself and coming back empty.
-And your charming little daughter?
-Oh, she's growing up very fast. As a matter of fact, she's six tomorrow.
-Oh, that's such a delightful age.
-How is gregor?
-He's fine. But I'm afraid we don't get a chance to see each other very much these days.
-Clavius Control came on the air just long enough to transmit their refusal.
-Are you sure you won't change your mind about a drink?
-No, thank you... and I'm afraid now I really must be going.
-Well, Gregor and I will look forward to seeing you.
-How do you do, Mr. Miller?
-Well, thank you very much for being so understanding.
-Please, it really doesn't matter.
-Well.. Did you have a pleaant flight?
-Yes, very pleasant.
-Well, shall we go through Documentation?
-Yes, I think so. Just about then.
-I suppose you saw the work on our new section while you were docking.
-Oh, I really don't have time for a drink. If it's all right I'll just sit for a minute and then I've got to be off.
-Are you quite sure?
-Well, as it happens, I'm on my way up to the moon
-Are you, by any chance, going up to your base at Clavius?
-I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I know what you mean.
-Well, it's just for the past two weeks there have been some extremely odd things happening at Clavius.
-Really?
-Yes, well at first we thought that was the explanation, but it's been going on for the past ten days.
-You mean you haven't been able to get anyone at the base for ten days?
-That's right.
-Yes, and I'm afaid there's going to be a bit of a row about it. Denying the men permission to land was a direct violation of the I.A.S. convention.
-Yes... Well, I hope the crew got back safely.
-Fortunately, they did.
-Dr. Floyd, at the risk of pressing you on a point you seem reticent to discuss, may I ask you a straightforward question?
-Certainly.
-This epidemic could easily spread to our base, Dr. Floyd. We should be given all the facts.
-Dr. Floyd, how long do you think this can be kept under wraps?
-Yes, it does. The sub-surface structure shows that it was deliberately buried about four million years ago.
-How can you tell it was deliberately buried?
-By the deformation between the mother rock and the fill.
-Any clue as to what it is?
-But you don't have any idea as to what it is?
-Any ideas about the colour?
-Well, not really. At first glance, black would suggest something sun-powered, but then why would anyone deliberately bury a sun- powered device?
-Has it been exposed to any sun before now?
-Oh, marvellous. It's the first real sleep I've had for the past two days.
-There's nothing like weightless sleep for a complete rest.
-When do we arrive at Clavius?
-We're scheduled to dock in about seven hours. Is there anything we can do for you?
-Thank you.
-Incidentally, Dr. Floyd, I wonder if I can have a word with you about the security arrangements?
-What do you mean?
-Well... the crew is confined to the ship when we land at Clavius. We have to stay inside for the time it take to refit - about twenty-four hours. And then we're going to back empty.
-I see.
-Well, I'll tell you why I ask. You see, I've got a girl who works in the Auditing Department of the Territorial Administrator and I haven't been able to get her on the phone for the past week or so, and with all these stories one hears, I'm a little concerned about her.
-I see. Well, I'm sorry about that. I wouldn't think there's any cause for alarm.
-Well, fine. Thanks very much, anyway, and I hope you don't mind me asking?
-No, of course, Captain, I can understand your concern.
-Right. Hal, tell me whether the following statements are true or false.
-I will if I can, Frank.
-Our Mission Profile calls for Discovery going to Saturn. True or false?
-True.
-Our transit time is 257 days. Is that true?
-That's true.
-Approximately five years after we go into hibernation, the recovery vehicle will make rendezous with us and bring us back. Is this true?
-That's true
-There is no other purpose for this mission than to carry out a continuation of the space program, and to further our general knowledge of the planets. Is that true?
-That's true.
-Hal, have pod arms secure the component.
-Five by five, Frank.
-Hal, I'm going out now to replace the A.O. unit.
-I understand.
-Hal, maintain normal E.V.A. condition.
-Roger.
-Pod Bay is decompressed. All doors are secure. You are free to open pod bay doors.
-Yes, Hal, what's up?
-I know you did, Frank, but I assure you there was an impending failure.
-Do you have any idea of what is causing this fault?
-Not really, Frank. I think there may be a flaw in the assembly procedure.
-Yeah?
-Name?
-This is three years old.
-We don't wash 'em, ya know.
-How about chargin' the battery?
-That we do. And we put air in the tires. I'll even sell you some gas if you need it.
-Yeah.
-Vodka.
-Maybe you better have a Black Russian.
-Now how's your memory doin'?
-Fuck off. I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
-Maybe I better ask around, see what your pals think.
-I don't give a damn about his girl...
-I'm tellin' ya, I'm giving you all I know.
-Maybe you shoulda stole a better truck, Tonto.
-I want to drive awhile.
-I ain't tired yet.
-Maybe after we get done with him I'm gonna buy us some girls.
-Whaddya mean, buy?
-Pay money?
-Yeah, dummy. Money.
-I never paid for it in my life.
-It's better when you pay... they let you do anything.
-They always let me do anything. I don't want to pay for it. I never paid for it in my life.
-Maybe that's where I'm gonna cut your throat.
-Hey, what about me?
-I'm candy...
-Excuse me, baby, but if i don't get some action tonight, I'm gonna bust. You interested?
-Hey, what kind of talk is that?
-Oh ... You're a schoolteacher...
-No, I go to a school to learn how to do hair. It's a government program. But really I want to be a model - and I am definitely not sellin'.
-Hey, don't you think a hair stylists got any interest in gettin' it on?
-You're in a hurry.
-Yeah, i been waiting three years.
-You just quit bein' a priest or somethin'?
-No, baby, nothin' like that. Look, there's a place across the street. We can go right over there...
-What's the matter with my place?
-Well, maybe I'll see you later ...
-Hello, again.
-Here you go, baby.
-Hey, don't do that. I said I wasn't a pro, remember?
-I'll buy ya the best dinner in San Francisco...how'd that be? Then we'll go dancin', okay?
-I said police. Now drop the goddamn gun.
-How about it?
-I hear you've got visitors.
-Would you guys...
-You and the other one, you're still Billy's girls. You always were his girls...
-Yeah. Sure, i'm crazy in love with him, who wouldn't be...
-You're gonna help us take him.
-No chance.
-Where's ganz?
-You lying son of a bitch...
-After I get outta this, cop...I'm gonna live forever...
-I don't think you're gonna make it.
-I got hit. I can't believe it. I got shot.
-You're done. End of story.
-You got a name, cop?
-Try Cates. And let's talk in private, okay?
-You here to write my life story?
-Yeah, I noticed...
-Ganz is in jail. He's gonna be there two years after I'm on the street.
-Yeah?
-I can deliver Ganz. But you gotta get me outta here first.
-You're crazy.
-I can help you, man, but you gotta get me out. I got to be on the street. Get me outta here.
-What's the big deal about you bein' on the street?
-I got a lot to protect.
-Bullshit.
-It's the only way you're gonna get Ganz.
-This prison gives out $400 suits?
-We're supposed to be after a killer, not a string of hookers...
-I don't need to hear your jive. I already got that department taken care of...
-Hey, no way. Take off the bracelets or no deal.
-You just don't get it, do your Reggie? There isn't any deal. I own your ass.
-No way to start a partnership.
-Get this. We ain't partners. We ain't brothers. We ain't friends. I'm puttin' you down and keepin' you down until Ganz is locked up or dead. And if Ganz gets away, you're gonna be sorry we ever met.
-Yeah.
-Okay, let's get down to it. I did my part and got you out. So now you tell me where we're goin'?
-Don't worry, I got a move for ya. An awesome move. A guy named Luther. Ganz'll be paying him a visit. We go to him right away.
-Luther was part of the gang?
-What gang you talkin' about, Jack?
-I can read a police file, shithead, and quit calling me Jack.
-I don't give a damn. It happens to be my name.
-Then what're you complainin' about? At least nobody's calling you shithead....
-Just up the street, the other side, over there ... Now, don't bother knockin' on the door. Luther ain't the kind of guy that looks for company.
-Your pal nuts enough to take a shot at me?
-Luther ain't the reliable type. I don't want you shot yet, Cates ... not before you been a help to me.
-Quit playin' cop and undo this cuff, Jack, I need to talk to this man.
-I'm tellin' you to drop the Goddam gun.
-I got a whole thing about people pointin' guns at me.
-Hey, this works pretty good.
-Thank you.
-What do you think?
-I think you better put him on ice, man.
-He's gotta take that call ... if there is one.
-We're on the move. Let's go. As they walk toward a corridor.
-Do you know how close I was to getting some trim. And you fucked' it up.
-Yeah, well, my ass bleeds for you. And I didn't get you out so you could go on a Goddamn "trim" hunt... stop moaning.
-Speakin' of moans my Stomach is startin' to growl.
-We eat when I say we eat.
-Bullshit ... I ain't moving till I get something to eat. You've been treating me like shit ever since I came out here. If you don't like it, you can take me back to the penitentiary and kiss my hungry black ass good-bye. And I want some food some place nice.. Some good people, nice music...
-Yeah, I'm hungry too. I know of a place. Let's go eat.
-Who'd you call on the phone back at the booking station?
-You really do have onoe, huh, Jack... what's her problem besides you?
-Now, where we goin', convict?
-I don't give out the details.
-Last night.
-Sure. Then we had a fight this morning.
-Well?
-It's a long shot, but...Billy used to tend bar here a few years back. I heard him talk about it.
-This part of town, they'll make us for heat the second we walk in. Just back me up like you've got a piece...
-Back you up? Now why would I wanna do that?
-If they kick my ass, they'll sure as hell carve yours up...
-But you can handle it all right, huh? Real amazin' how far a gun and a badge can carry some cats...
-I been in a lot of bars where a white cop rousted me and some of the brothers. All those clowns ever had going for 'em was a gun and a badge...
-Hey, you wanna bet?
-I got two problems. Number one, I'm not playin' games. Number two, you got nothin' to bet with.
-If we come outta this joint with Ganz' phone number, or a dead Indian, or anything else useful, then you could turn the other way for half an hour while I get laid...
-Why? Anybody that talks about women as much as you do probably can't get it up anyway.
-I'll tell you what happens if you lose... you tell the truth for once.
-What are you talkin' about?
-You tell me what Ganz busted out for, he's after a lot more than just gettin' out of jail. And whatever it is, you're part of it.
-I don't know what you're talking about. I just wanna see Ganz nailed.
-I'm gonna enjoy this ... here, I'll even loan you my badge.
-This place don't seem real popular with the brothers.
-That wasn't necessary, buddy. I got this under control.
-You made that move, huh?
-There.
-Must be billy's girl.
-Let's go.
-This sucks. A maniac gets hold of my gun and goes all over the streets killing people with it. So, instead of me being where I oughta be, which is in bed giving my girl the high, hard one, I'm out here doing this shit, roaming around with some overdressed, charcoal-colored loser like you.
-You wanna leave, man? Let me take care of Ganz all by myself.
-You? Don't make me laugh. You can't take care of shit. You've been dicking me around since we started on this turd-hunt. All you're good for is games... So far, what I got outta you is nothin'...
-I'm impressed with you too, Jack you did a real good job of busting up a couple of dykes bedded down for the night.
-Maybe I don't like the way you ask.
-Yeah, right. You want to try again?
-Naw, you'd just call your pals back to bail you out one more time.
-They saved your ass, convict.
-I been waiting a long time for some money.
-How much?
-Half a million.
-Just tell me about the money.
-Me and my bunch hit a dealer in the middle of a sale. It's the kind of money nobody ever reports stolen. I was sittin' pretty, livin' in the high cotton, then somebody fingered me for another job. ... Some psycho who's out there capping people with some cop's gun.
-He's after your money.
-We split 50-50?
-Not likely, convict.
-You gonna let me keep any of it?
-Where's the money?
-Right, partner.
-Get this. We ain't partners. We ain't brothers. We ain't friends. If Ganz gets away with my money, you're gonna be sorry we ever met.
-Where's the goddamn car?
-This'll show you how smart I am. I got it parked.
-...For three years? Let's hope it wasn't a tow-away zone.
-You son of a bitch. You knew where the money was all along and all we had to do was come here and wait. I almost got my ass blown off twice tonight for nothing.
-I wasn't sure the money was still there until we saw Luther. You almost got your ass shot off for nothing once, not twice, Jack.
-You took a big chance, leaving this here all this time.
-Not really. I figured Ganz was put down for a long time. And I knew Luther would never job me on his own. He's too chickenshit.
-What?
-Musta got some primo bondsman.
-Jesus Christ, look at all the dust on my car...why in the hell don't he take it to a car wash?
-Didn't know you darker people went in for foreign jobs.
-You'd think the guy'd be smart enough to know he was being tailed.
-Tryin' to save his girl, man. He's in another world.
-If I was his size and had Ganz on my ass, I'd just leave town.
-I'm tellin' you the man's in love... he wants to be a hero for his girl.
-I suppose you'd never be like Luther and let a woman get to you...
-I let women get to me. The quest for pussy is the meaning of life ... I got my own personal philosophy about 'em. Keep women separate from guns, money and business ... women are for spending money. They got nothing to do with helping you make it.
-Say, do you always work people over like you did Luther?
-If they don't tell me what I need to know...
-Doesn't it get... Tiring?
-I'm not in this 'cause it's fun. I'm not into hitting guys 'cause it makes me feel good either... I do it 'cause it works-...
-Maybe Luther hopes Ganz'll give him a piece of your money...
-A long time agb Luther must of got the shit beat out of him so bad it just rattled his brain ... that would account for him making so many wrong moves in a row...
-You know, I'd be embarrassed if I let my wheels go the way you've done with this job.
-What you don't understand is, I don't give a damn about how this thing looks.
-No class...
-We're getting too close ... Cates, what's the matter, you been takin' dumb pills?
-That was in style a couple years back, man.
-Bullshit. Then i'm staying with the money.
-You stay with me...
-Hey, Jack, how ya doin'? What took you so long to call, man? I been waitin' ... I'm at Vroman's up in the Fillmore. Yeah, Vroman's... 'Course you don't hang out here; it's for the brothers.
-Where's luther?
-Be polite. Say hello. This is Candy.
-What about Luther?
-We missed.
-You missed ... Luther took a taxi to the hotel across the street. Made a phone call.
-Maybe we should pay Luther a visit.
-They must have set up a meeting for the morning; Luther left an 8 am wake-up and put up the "Don't Disturb" sign. He's trading his girl for the money. All we have to do to grab Ganz is not go blind.
-Tell me something. Why didn't you just take the money off Luther and split?
-I don't know why, but I'm going to let you keep it. Maybe because you told me you had it, or maybe just because I'm too tired to argue...
-Thanks for callin' in... and I guess Maybe... Look, I'm sorry I called you Watermellon nigger... those kinds of things. I was just leanin' on ya, doin' my job.
-Bein' good at your job don't explain everything, Jack ...
-Yeah, I see her.
-That was quick.
-When you been in prison three years, it don't take long. Let's go.
-Why?
-Notice something funny about that bus?
-Hey, how'd my car get here?
-I had it impounded. Come on, we'll use it for haulin' you back to the slam.
-Back to jail in my own car. Ganz got away. Got all my money. It just don't seem right.
-Sorry we didn't do better, Jack. I feel like I let you down.
-Naw, you didn't let me down. It was a long shot all the way. We gave 'em a good run at it.
-It's late, they're closing...
-Yeah, well the only woman of the Indian's we ran into was shacked up with her dyke girlfriend. I guess she went with him before she came outta the Closet ... They both looked mad enough to kill him...
-Do I get to kiss her too?
-What if your girl's theory turns out to be bullshit? I mean, they could be in Rio de Janeiro.
-Hey, there she is...
-Whatever play I maker just back me up.
-If we run into Billy first, let me try and talk him in.
-Sure, I'll give you a shot at it, but Ganz is mine. You know, that big Indian plays it for keeps...
-Yeah, and I know Ganz sure ain't no sweetheart... I wouldn't like it if this partnership ended before it gets started.
-Partnership?
-You okay?
-Yeah. But I wasn't there for a second.
-Okay, reggie, start bustin' my chops... Tell me how great you were with that chick.
-Wait a minute, Cates. I've been waitin' three years for that. I don't think it's fair, man. What about the merit system.? You were gonnna give me a few thousand.
-It's your money. It'll be here in six months when you get out.
-And you're tellin' me you don't want any of this cash?
-That's right. Not my style, Reggie..
-You are an awesomely weird cop. Sure wish there were more like you runnin' around out here.
-No, you don't. If I ever get word of you steppin' over the line again, I'm gonna ventilate that suit of yours.
-Thanks.
-I want to be left alone on this one. Algren was killed with my gun.
-Hey, the bastard's got my gun. I want it back.
-Yeah...
-Anthing botherin' you besides losin' your gun?
-Yeah. It bothers me when cops get hurt while I'm makin' a play. I don't like it.
-You might be more of a team player and a little less of a hot dog on this one, Jack.
-Being a hot dog's worked pretty well for me so far... Besides, I got a lead...
-Okay. You're not a team player. You gotta do things your own way. Fine. Nail this guy and make us all look good. But you better watch your ass. If you screw up, I can promise you, you're goin' down.
-You really know how to send a guy out with a great attitude. He starts to go.
-Jack?
-Yeah?
-Try not to get your ass shot to pieces. We got enough dead cops on this one.
-What the bell happened?
-I lost them, that's what happened.
-How did they get away?
-Which one pulled the trigger?
-The Indian. I was about 30 yards away.
-What a screw-up.
-Don't duck the bullet Cates. Why didn't you call in for backup instead of makin' a grandstand play?
-I didn't have the time.
-He's got more brains and more guts in one corner of his asshole than any cop I've worked with.
-Where the Christ do you think you're going?
-That's what you say, Cates...
-Yeah.
-But that's what you say about all of us all the tine ... we're always the ones fucking up when you tell it...
-Somebody steals your gun, you're supposed to file a report.
-Are you gonna tell me about police procedure? Do me a favor, don't give me a bunch of crap.
-Is that what this guy Ganz had in the hotel?
-Every last bit of it. The big guy's room was empty.
-This guy must have had a .44 like yours, Jack. Now he's got yours.
-Billy Bear...
-Who are all these?
-They all pulled a bunch of jobs with Ganz about four years ago.
-Wait a minute, wait a minute... who's this?
-Tell me that's not the same guy.
-I think I wanna have a discussion about it with any of the ones still walking. Can we find them?
-Here's the file. Cates checks the file.
-You look awful.
-So do you...been a long day.
-Long night, too, from what I heard ... Word's going around that in addition to losing Ganz for the second time, and in addition to Haden busting you back to Patrolman, some jig beat the crap out of you.
-Aw, bullshit, you heard wrong.
-Doesn't look like it.
-Nothing came in for me yet? No calls?
-Bullshit red tape.
-I got to wait for a call.
-I almost forgot. That pal of yours from the Vice Squad wants you to call him.
-Jesus Christ. Why the hell didn't you tell me before?
-A cop...
-I sure ain't his fairy godmother... now I'm looking for Ganz...where is he?
-Haven't seen him for years. That's the truth.
-You just took a shot at me, asshole. I think you do know where he is.
-Ganz and Billy got my girl, Rosalie.
-I think I met her. Now tell us something we don't know, like where they stashed her.
-He ... he wants me to help him skip town.
-When? How?
-What am I wanted for?
-I don't think your gun's loaded...
-This is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world. You gotta ask yourself just one question. Are you feelin' lucky?
-Hey, you're right.
-You're hopeless.
-I'm all wet.
-A guy in the bar called me a dumb bitch today.
-What'd you do?
-Irrigated his face with the shot of J and B I'd just poured him. Then I tried to deck the sucker.
-I guess he got the message...
-Then I sit back and I think, I mean, who's to say I'm not a dumb bitch. I work in a bar, right? I can't read a list of my academic credentials to every booze-hound that comes in the place... You are what you do...
-Positive self-image problem all over again ... You are who you decide you are unless you're the type that lets assholes decide for you.
-Aren't you the one that thinks all psychotherapy is bullshit?
-I do think all psychotherapy is bullshit. But just because I think it's bullshit doesn't mean I don't know something about it.
-If this is your idea of sympathetic interest in my problems, I'll take brutal indifference.
-Hey, you know what I really think?
-Tell me--I'm dyin' to hear it.
-You know, if you let me come over to your place once in a while, you could put on a clean shirt in the morning.
-Maybe you ought to buy me one.
-That's a fairly crummy way to start a morning.
-Maybe I got a fairly crummy day ahead.
-Maybe that makes a nice excuse.
-When you start with that attitude... it's like I don't know who you are.
-What do you want to know? What difference does it make? I'm the guy in your bed the last three months. I make you feel good. You make me feel good. What the hell else do you want from a guy?
-You know something, Jack, you really are hopeless.
-That's the way I see it, too.
-Call me later.
-You sure you want me to?
-Thanks for the coffee.
-I think you forgot this. Hands him his wallet and badge...
-Great place for lunch.
-Yeah, one of my favorites.
-Yeah, Guess it must have been a slow news day...
-Jack, are you okay?
-Look, spare me the macho bullshit about your gun...
-Bullshit? I'll tell you about bullshit. My gun's a real weapon in the hands of a real maniac who knows how to use it. It isn't my macho bullshit that's killing people, my gun is ...
-Look, Jack, if you make everything your personal responsibility, you'll turn into a bad cop. It's not a practical way to function...
-I didn't get burned, two cops did. Listen, I'll tell you about personnel responsibility. I like to get the job done right. And if I don't get my job done right... I'm for shit.
-Here it comes again ... the sacred job...
-That's right. I'm not like you. I'm not gonna sit on my ass wondering what's right and what's wrong... There's a psycho out there killing people with my gun and I'm gonna get him. Because it's my job. And if you don't get that...
-Just one. Some lady called. Said she's a little hot-headed sometimes... But she still wants her occasional roommate. She'd like to talk it over after she gets off work tonight... if it's humanly possible....
-Listen, Goddamn it if you think I'm happy about it, you're nuts. I just gotta take care of a few things, okay?
-I'm at work, asshole. Where else?
-Elaine! I... I'm sorry... I was expecting somebody else... police business.
-No wonder you're so popular.
-No, it's I'm just surprised you called.
-The number ... what's the Goddamn number?
-Elaine, I gotta put you on hold...
-Jack, wait...
-Hello.
-Hi, it's me...
-Hey, I don't believe it.
-Hiya, kid.
-I ought to have you and your friend thrown out...
-Don't. We've had a hard night.
-I can see that. Pardon me for saying so, but you look like shit. What happened?
-You real down?
-Nothing. No sign of Ganz. No sign of the Indian. Airport's clean. Train station. Bus station. Docks... Shit...
-Ganz is going to be hard to track. Just a pure schizo ... wires all crossed... totally without any pattern... kill anybody... The Indian... himself... anybody...
-How do you know?
-What makes you think they were lesbians, or as you so quaintly put it, dykes?
-Come on, they were a little old for a slumber party.
-It might pay to reexamine a few of your more primitive notions. I was in bed with a girlfriend watching TV last week, Jack, and one thing we know about me is I happen not to be a lesbian ... Now, if this Indian's girlfriend got upset when you came looking for him, it could just be she's still vulnerable to him.
-So what?
-When a guy hurts you, then comes back bleeding on his hands and knees, who knows, he might just be irrestible.
-Hey, Come on, shrink time's over. They wouldn't go see some old girlfriend.
-Whaddya think?
-What do I know? I'm just a bartender.
-How'd they take it back at headquarters?
-Usual bullshit. You make one smart move and everybody wants to be your friend... You know somethin', shootin' guys sucks. Especially compared to this.
-I've been waiting a long time to hear you say that.
-Three more hours...
-Where is he?
-Promised I'd turn my back while he... ah, never mind...
-Tell me.
-You're impossible...
-Who the hell are you?
-I'm not so sure I can say the same thing...You don't look like a cop.
-Well, I been workin' the other side of the street for the last few years. And you don't exactly look like a shrink, wearin' that dress...
-Hard man to live with.
-How would you know?
-Hey, two days with him is enough.
-He was the only one of my bunch that was my friend... He was loyal, went all the way for you...
-Hey...
-Shut up.
-What do you want? What's goin' on?
-Stall.
-Keep stallin'.
-How hot are they?
-How ya doin'?
-Can't complain.
-We got a lot to talk about.
-Yeah, old times.
-We'll follow you. Take it slow,okay?
-Surprise, Luther.
-Whaddya want? I thought you were locked up-
-I want the money, asshole, what do you think? The money that Reggie hid...
-I don't know what you're talkin' about.
-Instead of worryin' about Reggie, you better worry about me...
-Don't give me this, we were partners.
-Billy, go ahead, break it...
-No! Don't kill her. I can get you the money.
-When?
-I can't get it until Monday. Honest.
-You chickenshit punk...
-Come on, you can trust me. Please.
-Let her go.
-Rosalie, you okay?
-How you doing, man?
-You want to go outside?
-You sure?
-How about some ammo?
-How much?
-This is clean shit. No serial numbers and never been used...
-Don't mess with me. How much?
-Five bills.
-Five. On credit.
-Yeah, I know that, but this is me and we're old friends. I haven't got the money so what are you gonna do about it?
-Give it back.
-Fuck you. You got no right for this kind of play.
-Appipulai Leeloo Minai..
-Corn-i-Lius?
-What're you laughing about?
-The case..with the stones... Where is it?
-San Agamat chay bet... envolet!
-Ikset-kiba. Me imanetaba oum dalat!
-Vano da, mechteba?! Soun domo kala chon hammas!
-Akta dedero ansila do mektet.
-...We're saved!
-Zorg. Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg... nice to see you again
-I remember you now..the so called art dealer.
-I'm glad you got your memory back, Father... Because you're going to need it... Where are the stones?
-...Why on earth do the stones interest you?
-Personally, they are of no interest to me, I'd rather sell weapons..but I have a customer... so tell me...
-Even it I did know where the stones were I would never tell somebody like you.
-Why? What's wrong with me?
-...I'm a priest! I'm here to serve life, All you want to do is destroy it.
-...would you like a drink?
-No thank you.
-...Look at all these little things... so busy all of a sudden. Notice how each one is useful. What a lovely ballet, so full of form and color. So full of..life!
-Father, by creating a little destruction, I am, in fact, encouraging life! So, in reality, you and I are in the same business!
-Destroying a glass is one thing..killing people with the weapons you produce is quite another.
-You are a monster, Zorg!
-Excuse me, I'm looking for a priest.
-She's not my bride, she's my fare. She's looking for this Vito Cornelius. According to the phone guide he lives here.
-That's me. But I don't know who she is... where did you find her?
-Who are you?
-I brought the girl remember?
-He's a she!
-You noticed...
-There's not a moment to lose! Wake her up, but be gentle about it! This woman is mankind's most precious possession! She is... perfect!
-So you do know her.
-They all like this in your family, father?
-She's an exception..
-Thank you so much for your help Mr...?
-Yes. That's fine! Thank you very much. A thousand times over!
-I might call to check up on her, you know... to see if she's better?
-She's fine, really..don't you worry.. just needs some rest..she's had a very long trip.
-Excuse me! Just one thing! She said something to me a while ago and... I don't really get it... Akta Gamat?
-It means, "Never without my permission".
-I'm sorry to have to resort to such methods, but we heard about your good luck on he radio and we need the tickets to Fhloston.
-Is that the usual way priests go on vacation?
-We're not going on vacation..we're on a mission..
-What kind of mission?
-We have to save the world.
-Good luck..
-Of course.
-What are you doing?
-You're probably very angry with me and I quite understand. But I want you to know I'm fighting for a noble cause.
-Yeah, I know... to save the world... but right now all I want to do is save Leeloo.
-Leeloo's in trouble?
-When is she not in trouble?
-Don't tell me you don't know how all this works?
-There's no light! You told me there were supposed to be four beams of light.
-Yes, of course, but... The Stones are shut! They have to be open for it to work.
-And you don't know how they open, is that what you are saying?
-Imagine for a moment that this. thing is not anything that can be identified because it prefers not to be, because it is the antithesis of all we are. Because it is evil.. TOTAL EVIL.
-Your theory is interesting Father but I don't think we have time to go into it right now!
-Time is of no importance, Mr. President. Only life is important.
-We have forty-eight hours, the time it needs to adapt itself to our living conditions.
-And then?
-Is there anything that can stop it?
-But what happens if instead of this... Ultimate Warrior... it is EVIL who stands here?
-Did you see that..thing..swallow our battleship like a gum drop? You can't even tell me what it is! I ask you for options you give me bullshit. Give them permission to enter our territories with my warmest regards.
-What are we going to do?
-It's a miracle!!!
-What is?
-Father, will you please explain what's going on?
-Father. You sure she's the Supreme Being?
-What's she doing?
-Uh father, I know she's been through a lot... but the sacred stones..we don't have much time..
-There was this guy with a limp who came a month ago..said he was an art dealer ... Asking all these questions about the Sacred Stones..at the time I didn't think anything of it.. What was his name? I'm so bad with names...
-They really made her...
-I got it! Everything here we need to know about Fhloston Paradise Hotel... and a detailed blueprint of the entire hotel!
-Where's Leeloo?
-On the plane... with Mr. Dallas... the real one.
-You're all safe. Thanks be to God!
-You're a good man... She was right to have chosen you...
-Who?
-Leeloo... is... she's...
-Yes, and more than that... You must give her the Stones, she's the only one who knows how to use them.
-She was taught to love the life of others... but not her own. You have to teach her to love if you want her to truly live!
-I'll help her, I promise, but I think you should tell me where the Stones are!
-Do you love her?
-I... I don't know! We hardly know each other... it takes time!
-I don't have time... I need to know.
-Listen, the last time I admitted to a woman I loved her ... I never saw her again.
-I'm sorry, but... the Stones...
-Yeah?
-I love you too Major, but you haven't called me that since basic training.
-I was talking to the cat.
-At least, the cat comes back.
-You still pining for that two timing bitch. Forget her. There are a million women out there.
-I don't want a million - I just want one. A perfect one.
-I just found a picture of you.
-How do I look?
-I don't need one.
-You forgetting who sat next to you for a thousand missions. I know how you drive.
-Finger! I'm driving a cab now, not a space fighter!!
-How many points you got left on your license?
-Uh... at least fifty.
-Hello?
-Hey bud...I'm waiting all day here.
-Finger..man..I'm sorry..listen..I was on the way over but I had a fare fall into my lap.. y'know one of those big fares you just can't resist..
-So, just how big was this fare?
-Uh huh..and I don't suppose you got the name of this..perfect fare..
-Akina delutan, nou-shan.
-Daya deo dono Dato. Dalutan!
-...Priest...
-Vito... Cor... Ni-lious... Priest...
-Eto Akta Gamat!
-...What's your name?
-Leeloo Minai Lekarariba-Laminai-Tchai Ekbat De Sebat.
-Hey, that's... cute... Do you have a nickname, something a little... shorter?
-The Fifth Element...
-Will the elements be gone now forever from this place?
-When mankind comes to its senses. We will return.
-Knowing mankind as I do, that could take centuries!
-When EVIL returns so shall we.
-...Hello?
-You're the nastiest dirtbag I know in this stinking City!
-Hi Ma...
-Are you listening to me, you ingrate!
-Other than that... You all right?
-I'm coming!. Ma, what're you talking about?
-I get it! You want to make me beg, is that it?
-You just won a trip, you dolt! Ten days in Fhloston Paradise for two!
-Ma. If I'd won, I'd know about it. Someone would have notified me.
-Yeah?
-Have you pulled yourself together?
-Hello?
-You little sleaze bag!
-...Ma???
-Welcome on board Mr. Dallas..
-Fuel level 6.03..Propulsion 2x4...
-I had the worst goddamn nightmare.
-You have nine points left on your license..
-I'm sorry..
-30 seconds...
-6... 5...
-...Hi.
-...Quiver ladies, he's gonna set the world on fire right here from 5 to 7! You'll know everything there is to know about the D-man. His dreams, his desires, his most intimate of intimates. And from what I'm looking at intimate is the stud muffin's middle name. So tell me my main man... you nervous in the service?
-I didn't come here to play Dumbo on the radio. So tomorrow between 5 and 7 give yourself a hand, that clear pal?
-My main man! Please don't leave me here alone. My head's killing me and my adoring fans are gonna tear me apart! Get me outta here!
-I'll take you to the bar, after that, you're on your own.
-Oh, yes! Do that! You treat me right, man. Tell me all about yourself, your roots, your personal life, your childhood dreams...
-I don't think this is a good time...
-...You got brothers and sisters? What about your dad? Tell me about your dad! What was he like? Physically? Big, I suppose?
-Yeah, very big, a giant.
-You don't do what I say... I'll waste you myself. Got it?
-Six to the left. One to the right.
-He's on vacation.
-Maybe we oughta be going, what do you think?
-Like Korben, can I have 30 seconds of your time here?
-You know how to fly this thing?
-I don't even know what I'm looking for!
-Solid little jobs, aren't they?
-What did you say? What did you do?
-Nothing! Swear to God, I didn't do nothing!
-Is that all?
-Major Dallas, if our calculations are correct you still have 57 hours owed to the Federal Army on your enlistment which is more than you will need for a mission of the utmost importance.
-What mission?
-To save the world.
-Where have I heard this song before?
-You're to leave immediately for Fhloston Paradise. Retrieve four Stones from the Diva Plavalaguna. And bring them back with the utmost discretion as possible. Any questions'?
-Just one... why me?
-Two: Of all the members of your unit you were the most highly decorated.
-And the third one?
-Don't you open your messages?
-I've had enough good news for today
-You couldn't come up with something a little more discreet?
-Old tricks are the best tricks eh?
-I'm not going.
-Why not?
-...Shit!
-It's my wife.
-I thought you were divorced.
-...Sorry, General, but we've got no choice! It'll only take a minute! Let me set up another meeting and I'll be back.
-Three of us will never fit in there!
-Apipoulai!
-Valo massa... Chacha hamas.
-You hear that?
-Cornelius..
-Dinoine chagantakat!
-Apipoulai!
-Love...
-Sometimes you can't learn everything from a screen..sometimes it's better to ask someone who has experience..
-Finished what?
-Learning language.
-Which one?
-You learned 900 languages in five minutes?!
-Yes! Now it's your turn! I learned your language, you have to learn mine!
-I know how to say "Hello". Teach me how to say "Good-bye", that's all I need.
-Apipoussan!
-Apipoussan?
-Good! Do you know how we say "make love"?
-Uh...
-Here we go again...
-You know women normally change five times more than men.
-You get that off the screen?
-Yes... you know there's a lot of differences between men women.
-You noticed..
-Where you going?
-I'm going to see the Diva sing. What's the matter?... Do I look bad?
-I told you I need to work in peace. Remember? I need to concentrate.
-And you can't concentrate with me around?.
-You're nothing but a... a...
-I'm so very sad.
-Why? We did pretty well, wouldn't you say?
-Five hundred wars... Arms... Drugs... Money... Everything you create is used to destroy...
-I told you not to read all that crap!
-Leeloo? The Stones! We have to open them! How does it work?
-The wind blows... the fire burns...
-I know all that, Leeloo! I'm talking about the Stones.
-It's up to you now, Angel!
-I'm so tired...
-You can sleep tomorrow... come on...
-I want to sleep... forever...
-What's the use of saving lives... when you see what you do with them!
-You're right but there are lots of good things... beautiful things...
-...Like love...
-Exactly.
-I have thousands of memories but none of them are mine... There is no need for me other than this. I'm immortal but I have no life.
-Yes, you do! I need you. More than you can imagine! Stand up straight!
-Why?... Why would you need me?
-Tell me...
-Not going to open?
-I've never gotten a message that wasn't bad news.
-How someone strong like you scared from a message? Is good news I sure!
-The last two messages I got? The first one was from my wife telling me she was leaving! And the second was from my lawyer telling me he was leaving too... with my wife.
-At least I won lunch.
-The cash man!
-Been here long?
-Isn't that a Z140? Alleviated titanium. Neuro charged assault model?
-Uh..
-It's not?
-Thanks..
-This is all that survived?
-Actually only one cell survived..
-Have you identified it?
-It's not that easy..we've never encountered anything like it before..you see normal human beings have 40 DNA memo groums..which is more than enough for any species to perpetuate itself..This one has 200,000.
-Talk English Doc.
-This cell is like a huge library. It has infinite genetic knowledge stored inside. Almost like it was...engineered.
-Sounds like a freak of nature to me.
-The compositional elements of his DNA chain are the same as ours, there are simply more of them tightly packed. His knowledge is probably limitless..
-Is there any danger? Some kind of virus?
-...This is the crucial phase, The reconstruction of pigment. Cells are bombarded with slightly greasy solar atoms which forces the body cells to react, to protect themselves. That means growing skin. Clever, eh?
-This thing solid?
-Mr. President, let me introduce you to Professor Mactilburgh, who runs the center.
-I managed to contact the Mondoshawan. They deplore the incident, but accept our apologies.
-And the Stones? Did you find them in the wreckage?
-The-Stones weren't aboard the ship.
-I want your best man on this!
-They just landed in the desert.
-Staedert, do you read me?
-Is that better?
-Perfect, Mr. President.
-I have to address the Supreme Council in 10 minutes. Just the facts, General.
-There are no results from the chemical and molecular analysis as of yet, all the calibers are overshot..we're hoping a thermo nucleatic imaging..
-Not yet Sir..The only thing we know is it just keeps getting bigger!
-Options.
-Wait or act.
-Recommendations.
-My philosophy Mr. President is shoot first ask questions later. I don't like uninvited guests.
-Staedert? What's going on? Did you destroy it?
-Lord forgive me.. they already know too, much..
-"..in which all the history of the Universe resides ..all the strength..all the hope..Protect us from Evil.."
-Father.. it in the most extraordinary thing.. the greatest find in history..can you imagine the implications.
-A weapon against evil. Amazing! I am going to be famous.
-Drink!
-How's that? Can you hear me better now?
-Yes, Mr. Zorg, I hear you perfectly! So, how was the concert?
-Who gives a shit! I didn't come here to listen to music! Listen up instead of running off at the mouth! The batteries on my phone are almost gone.
-Yes, Sir!
-Dispatch me another ZFX200 immediately. Someone stole mine.
-Right away, Sir. I'll send you a new one to the hotel.
-Am I disturbing you?
-...Not far, now.
-Do you have the picture now Mr. Zorg?
-Got it.
-How's our deal coming along?
-The Stones will be here. I'll see to it personally!
-Welcome home.
-What's this... have you been smoking... ?
-Smoking? I'm not smoking.
-Your clothing reeks of it.
-You know, Amy, I've been sitting around in bars and everywhere following this guy... I mean, is this what I get first thing? Before you even "hello," you accuse me... ?
-I'm not accusing you...
-Well, I'm not smoking, okay?
-Okay, I believe you.
-How's the detective business?
-Business was fine. I'll tell you what, you couldn't pay me enough to live down there.
-You better not be smoking, that's all I can say.
-I love you.
-You think you'll have time for the water heater this weekend?
-Sure. I'll call the guy.
-You're not using the same guy who tried to fix it?
-I'm not using him again for anything. He was worthless. You have bridge here Saturday?
-This is the mortgage. This is Cindy's college money.
-I understand.
-Sometimes you can't know what I'm doing. It's better that way.
-I know.
-It's a missing persons case... a long shot. I'll give it two months, two months at most, then I'll be back. We'll take a vacation.
-Why the gun?
-Hello?
-Amy, it's me. Listen very carefully..
-Amy, just listen. Take Cindy and get out of the house. Do it now. Go to a hotel and stay there...
-What's wrong? Are you alright?
-I'm okay. Please, honey, I can't explain. Don't use the phone, just pack a bag and get out. I'm on my way. I'll be back at the house in three hours. Call me from the hotel when you get there
-... What's going on?
-What happened to you?
-I'm okay, honey, I'm okay. Are you alright?
-What's going on, Tom? What happened?
-I can't tell you, Amy. You know I can't. You have to trust me...
-Tom...
-Why haven't you called? Why don't you answer your phone?
-I don't know. I'm sorry...
-You owe me an explanation. You can't treat me like this.
-I wanted to call. I couldn't.
-You couldn't?
-You don't understand...
-No, I don't, because you're not telling me anything!
-You should have.
-Amy, I'm not going to let anything happen to us.
-Look where we are. Look at yourself. You son of a bitch, you don't have any idea what you're putting me through...
-I don't know what to say
-You're killing me...
-Don't...
-What was I supposed to think happened to you?!
-Who are you calling?
-Mrs. Christian.
-What?
-She's all I've got. She's the only witness.
-She died in her sleep three days ago. It was in the paper...
-What are these?
-Anything harder?
-There's nothing harder.
-Snuff?
-What you see is what I got, mister.
-You know where I can get it? I have a lot of money to spend.
-What do you want?
-I just got a call... two seconds ago, some motherfucker called... says he knows about the loop.
-What are you talking about?
-The loop! The girl we did, what the fuck do you think I'm talking about?! This guy calls and says he knows about the fucking loop...
-Bullshit.
-I'm telling you...
-Blow me, you paranoid fuck, that's impossible. Why are you bothering me with this... ?
-Because somebody just fucking called me and fucking laid it out!
-There's nothing there, you brain- dead cunt. Think about it. There's absolutely no way in this world to connect us to anything. I want you to hang the phone up, and if you call me about this again I'm going to send a friend of mine out there and have him crack you open with a fucking rib spreader.
-Dino...
-What the fuck... !
-It's an honor to meet you. Thank you for seeing us.
-I'd like to commission a work. I'm a great admirer of yours.
-Flattering. And, who's your colorful little chum?
-A fellow investor.
-You said something about money.
-That's five thousand dollars.
-Is it?
-Five thousand now, five thousand on delivery. Two women, one white and one black, as long as they have large breasts. Hard bondage, or course. Other than that, trusting your artistic interpretation, I have only two stipulations.
-And they are?
-I want to watch you work.
-I'll consider it.
-And the other performer... it has to be that monster you use... the man in the mask.
-Machine.
-He might be interested... but it would mean another five thousand.
-We can do that.
-You have a beautiful face... the way the light hits it. I'd like to take your picture. You don't mind?
-I'd rather you didn't.
-What's the problem?
-I'm camera shy.
-You trust me to keep your money, but not to take your picture?
-I'll do this for you. Fifteen thousand dollars.
-Machine's in?
-Where's that?
-You brought the money?
-Excellent.
-Where are the women?
-What are these for?
-Hmm? Oh, the knifes? They're just props. Nice, aren't they?
-Mister Welles... would you be so kind as to remove any firearms from your person?
-What are you... ?
-Empty the gun onto the table, very carefully.
-Look, I don't know what this...
-You remember Mr. Longdale, don't you?
-Friend of yours?
-Look, he's got nothing to do with this... let him go...
-Can you guess what I'm going to say next?
-He doesn't know anything... he's got nothing to do with this...
-I'll get it. It's in a safe deposit box, in the city...
-Is that him?
-Don't let Longdale's questionable choice of weapon give you any ideas. If his fey little gun puts enough little holes in you, you'll be just as dead... and so will Max.
-You're a dead man.
-Leave him alone.
-... sorry...
-You got the guts, tough guy? Gonna kill us all, is that it?
-What can I do for you, Mr. Welles?
-Call me Tom.
-Alright, Tom.
-What I'd like, very simply, is access to your archive. And, now I understand this isn't something you normally do for private citizens...
-There are reasons for the way we do things here.
-Few days ago, I was contacted by a couple living in Philadelphia, a doctor and his wife. What happened was they picked up a young girl hitchhiking off 81, which heads into Philadelphia, started up a conversation with this girl, she looked homeless, seemed about eighteen maybe. They convinced her to let them buy her a meal in the city. Nice kid, mature, didn't
-Why not go to the N.C.I.C. or N.C.M.E.C.?
-I figured you share information.
-We do.
-For whatever reasons I thought you might be more receptive.
-Why don't they come to me?
-This doctor and wife, they're nice people, but they don't want to get too involved. They're not trying to have the parents come looking for the girl either. You and I both know sometimes, not often, but sometimes there's real reasons why a kid'll run. Molestation, whatever. Besides that, the girl's probably eighteen, so she's legal.
-I'm not so sure about this.
-They're putting themselves in place of this kid's parents and thinking they'd want to hear their girl's okay, even if that's all they hear.
-They were pretty clear they didn't want this coming back on them.
-Files are mostly by state and year of disappearance. We try to keep the children and adults separate. No eating or smoking in here, but there's a coffee machine in the hall.
-Any good?
-It's horrible, but it'll be your best friend after a few days. I hope you realize what kind of long shot you're chasing after.
-You're gonna be seeing a lot of me. You're sure you don't mind?
-Celebrity Films.
-Eddie.
-Yeah, who's this?
-I know what you did.
-What?
-I know what you did.
-Who is this.
-You murdered that girl, Eddie. Six years ago...
-What the fuck are you.. ?
-What's he talking about?
-I'm gonna kill you.
-Don't bore me with that bullshit.
-Don't ask questions.
-Starting to recognize a pattern?
-What do you want?
-Who is Machine?
-I don't know...
-I want his name.
-I told you, I don't know.
-I will never get tired of hurting you, Eddie, so you might want to change your attitude.
-Okay, we'll come back to that. So, six years ago a guy contacts you, through the classifieds, over the phone, however he does it. It's Longdale, looking for a snuff film. And you, entrepreneur that you are, tell him you can hook him up.
-Yeah, the fucking lawyer.
-Told him you could get him a snuff film.
-Yeah.
-How much did he pay you?
-Thirty thousand each, that fucking cocksucker.
-That's all? Thirty each. That's all it took for you to murder her?
-So... you brought Dino in, and he brought Machine. And, one day, a girl walked into your office because you had an ad in the paper for models. And she never walked out.
-Something like that.
-What did you do, knock her out, shoot her up... ?
-What the fuck do you want from me?
-I want to know. I want to know exactly what you did to her!
-Show me where you did it, on the map, exactly where you did it.
-Why?
-I don't know. I felt like it. I never saw anyone get done before.
-You enjoy it?
-Made me sick, but what did I care? What did I care if some hump wants to beat off to that. It was just something I was doing for money.
-Tell me what happened.
-What do you want to know? You saw it, you saw the loop...
-Nobody saw you bring her in?
-There wasn't nobody around. This place was a shit-hole. I backed up the car to the door and we carried her in, like groceries. Dino made her eat a bunch of pills, we laid out the plastic, put film in the camera and Machine went to work.
-What did you do with her body?
-Took it out the bathroom window. Buried it in the woods.
-Keep moving.
-You can't go to the cops. All you can do is cut me loose and walk away, because you got nothing...
-Stop talking.
-You got absolute zero.
-Show me where you buried her.
-I don't know... ... out there somewhere.
-Where? Show me where.
-Do it.
-Don't think I won't.
-Do it! Put me out of my misery so I don't have to listen to you whining anymore. You think it's so easy?
-Easy enough for you.
-I never killed anyone.
-That's right, you just stood there and watched, because you "felt like it." Almost makes you worse.
-You know how my tapes sell. People eat this stuff up.
-I had three jerkoffs trying to return your tapes last month. Do you know how bad a skin flick has to be for some jackass to come back into my place with a fucking receipt, and try to fucking return it?
-Maybe there's something wrong with the scumbag customers coming into your place, ever think of that?
-The only thing wrong is the cheap, softcore crap you're peddling, Eddie. Where do you get this stuff?
-Look, you cocksucker...
-Get together some upscale product where the girls still have teeth in their head. Till then, fuck you.
-Yes, I do have something to say. I insisted on being here as soon as I heard Mrs. Christian contacted you.
-I'm listening.
-As Mr. Christian's attorney and one of the executors of his estate, it concerns me that a meeting of this sort should take place without my being asked to attend.
-Of what sort?
-You are a private investigator?
-That's right.
-You were the middleman, am I right? Old man Christian wasn't about to go shopping for a snuff film himself.
-Wouldn't exactly have been possible for a man of his stature.
-So, he sent you, gave you the money, his errand-boy. And if you refused, it wasn't like you could tell anyone your pervert boss just asked you to get him a snuff film. That's the beauty of lawyer/client privilege.
-That's trust. Mr. Christian trusted me implicitly.
-Must have paid you a lot, for you to risk everything. Would've had to have cut yourself a real nice piece of money.
-I was well compensated.
-That's why you got scared when Mrs. Christian hired me. You knew about the film, figured it had to be in that safe. How'd you find me?
-Never mind how I found you.
-Followed me... must have freaked out when you saw me closing in on your buddies...
-They're no friends of mine.
-Except, you're willing commit murder with them.
-None of this would be happening if you would have left it alone. If you weren't digging up a girl who died six years ago. A girl no one even remembers.
-You found these smut dealers and asked to buy a snuff film, right? Wanted them to find you one. Well, they didn't find you one, Longdale, they went out and made you one...
-Shut up.
-Mary Anne Mathews was alive till you paid money to have her murdered.
-Shut your mouth and drive!
-You're making me very angry.
-Just tell me. Tell me some more of the secrets you and Christian shared. What kind of degenerate pervert was he really? What the fuck did he want with a snuff film?
-You're asking me why?
-A man like Mr. Christian, a great man... all his money, all his power... a man who attained everything there was to attain...
-Why did he buy a film of some poor, lost girl getting butchered?
-Isn't it incredibly obvious?
-Enlighten me.
-You almost went over your limit.
-Give me the film.
-Give me the film.
-He's lying.
-Big date tonight?
-Yeah... guess so.
-Can I interest you in a battery operated-vagina?
-Pardon me?
-My boss tells me I have to do more suggestive selling.
-Well, it's tempting, but no thanks.
-It's your call, but you're gonna be sorry when you're in one of those everyday situations that call for a battery-operated vagina and you don't have one.
-Once you pick it up you can't put it down.
-Truman Capote.
-I tear off the cover and paste this one on... You know how it is.
-Wouldn't want to embarrass yourself in front of your fellow perverts.
-Remember me?
-I need some information. Thought you might be able to help.
-I don't know what you're looking for, mister, but so we're clear from the start, I'm straight.
-How long you been working there?
-Three, four years.
-What's your name, if you don't mind me asking?
-Max.
-Well, here's the deal, Max. This thing I'm on right now has something to do with underground pornography. Stuff that's sold under the counter, illegally...
-There's not much illegal.
-Well, whatever there is, whoever's dealing, however it's done, I want to know. I want a good look, so if you've got that kind of connection, great. If not, speak now.
-You're not a cop, are you? If I ask and you are, you have to tell me.
-I'm not a cop.
-You're a private eye. Like Shaft.
-Not quite.
-From Pennsylvania. P.I. from PA. What are you doing out here?
-Well, there's the thing; you're not gonna know anything about what I'm doing, but you can make some money.
-How much?
-How much do you make now?
-Four hundred a week, off the books.
-Okay, let's pretend I live in the same fantasy world where you make four hundred a week in that dump. I'll give you six hundred for a few days.
-Sounds good, pops.
-Here's my number if you need it... When can you start?
-Tomorrow night, I get off at eight.
-... Hello... ?
-You've got Penthouse, Playboy, Hustler, etc. Nobody even considers them pornography anymore. Then, there's mainstream hardcore. Triple X. The difference is penetration. That's hardcore. That whole industry's up in the valley. Writers, directors, porn stars. They're celebrities, or they think they are. They pump out 150 videos a week. A week. They've even got a porno Academy Awards. America loves pornography. Anybody tells you
-Interesting theory.
-What you saw tonight, we're not talking about a video some dentist takes home over the weekend. We're talking about stuff where people get hurt. Specialty product.
-Child pornography.
-There's two kinds of specialty product; legal and illegal. Foot fetish, shit films, watersports, bondage, spanking, fisting, she- males, hemaphrodites... it's beyond hardcore, but legal. This is the kind of hardcore where one guy's going to look at it and throw up, another guy looks at it and falls in love. Now, with some of the S+M and bondage films, they straddle the line.
-Snuff films.
-I heard you asking. That guy wasn't yanking you around. There's no such thing.
-What other ways are there to get illegal films? Who do you see?
-How old are you?
-Twenty-five.
-Where are your parents?
-I don't know, where are yours?
-I don't mean any offense... but what are you doing mixed up in all this?
-I'm not mixed up in anything, hayseed. What are you talking about?
-You just strike me as smart enough to be doing something else.
-Yeah, I'm a real genius. What choices have I got? Fuck, just because I know about stuff like tonight doesn't mean I deal it. I work a job. It beats pumping gas, beats making hamburgers.
-You're telling me it doesn't get to you?
-You can't sit there all day watching the parade of losers that comes into that place without going numb. So what? Am I gonna go off and be a race car driver? Go to Harvard? Run for President? What about you, pops?
-What about me?
-I see a ring on your finger. You have any kids?
-A daughter.
-So, you have a wife and kid waiting for you in Pennsylvania... what are you doing mixed up in all this?
-Dino Velvet... yeah, he's like the John Luc Godard of S+M flicks, supposed to be a real weirdo.
-A weirdo making S+M films? Who'd have thought it?
-His stuff comes out of New York. Bondage and fetish videos, Gothic Hardcore. Definitely not for the squeamish.
-Specialty product.
-You're learning.
-Where does he sell it?
-Out of the back of bondage magazines mostly, but you can find it on the street if you look. He'll also do commissions, for enough money...
-Nothing illegal, it's always borderline. Like if some freak wants to see a transvestite in a full rubber immersion suit getting an enema from a...
-Alright, I get the picture.
-He cuts all kinds of other stuff into his movies; photographs, newsreel footage, subliminal images. Thinks he's making art.
-Well, I'm in New York now. What do you say to flying out and giving me a hand?
-I'm a working stiff, pops.
-Take a vacation. I'll pay you four hundred a day, plus expenses.
-You want me to come out there and play private eye?
-Consider it. Meanwhile, dig up whatever Dino Velvet films you can. Get receipts. I'll call back.
-You didn't say it was gonna be this luxurious.
-It's their Presidential Suite.
-Oh, come on, man, what are we doing in this flea bag?
-Wha... ?
-Who is he?
-I told you, he's one of Dino Velvet's stock players...
-Who is he, his name?
-You don't need to be here.
-I know if I had to pick, it'd be "Choke," or "Devil."
-What's next?
-I'm trying to figure that out myself. I have to see Machine without his mask.
-Still don't want to tell me what you're doing?
-What's this?
-Look... that's awful generous and everything...
-Mister Welles. You're very prompt.
-Uh huh, pleasure.
-Have a pleasant evening. Will you have tea, Mister Welles?
-He's odd.
-I've spoken to friends of mine and my husband's, in Harrisburg, in Lancaster and Hershey. Asking about you. I must say you have friends in influential places.
-I've been privileged to provide services for people I admire.
-As you know, my husband passed away recently. Two weeks ago now.
-My condolences.
-His passing has left me with... something of a dilemma. A terrible, terrible dilemma.
-Pittsburgh?
-Mostly. That's where he started his empire building. He was a good man. Notorious as an eccentric, but that was something he cultivated. He wanted to be legendary.
-He succeeded.
-Do you carry a gun, Mr. Welles?
-I wear a gun when I can tell a client expects me to. Other than that, there's never any reason.
-My husband was the only one with the combination to this safe. I knew about it, but as far as I was concerned it was none of my business. Not till now, that is.
-You hired someone to open it. I'll bet the lawyer loved that.
-There was nothing he could do. My husband left everything to me. I prevented anyone from seeing the contents. I felt these were my husband's private things. I didn't... I didn't realize...
-Do you want to tell me what you found?
-It's a film... of a girl being murdered.
-I'm afraid I don't...
-I didn't know what to think. I can't tell you how horrible it's been, to know this belonged to my husband. To know that he watched this... this atrocity. But, I can't go to the police...
-Please, believe me. This is probably a stag film. Simulated rape. Hard to stomach, and it might seem real, but there are ways of making it look realistic... fake blood and special effects...
-No.
-If you were to study it you'd see the camera cutting away... you'd see the tricks they can play...
-I'm telling you it's not that.
-I'm sure it is. It's probably something your husband was given as a bad joke. More than likely he never even watched it.
-Will you watch it and see for yourself?
-You... you need to go to the police.
-I told you I can't, not yet.
-You don't have any other choice.
-No. For me to live with the ruin of my husband's name, I need know that whoever did this will be punished. If you can find them, I will take their names to the police. I'll say my husband confessed on his death bed. I'll say I didn't have courage to come forward at first...
-It won't work like that.
-I deal in divorce cases. Corporate investigations...
-You've found missing persons before.
-Nothing remotely like this.
-Okay...
-My husband never dealt with money personally, certainly not cash.
-I'm not positive this means anything.
-One was for two hundred thousand, one dollar and thirteen cents. Another was for three hundred thousand, six hundred fifty four dollars and seventy six cents...
-Okay, I follow you so far...
-Totalled together, these five checks from five different accounts, they equal one million dollars.
-You're joking.
-Hello... ?
-I'm here.
-Do you think the film could have cost that much?
-For a human life... murder on film, no statute of limitations. Who knows? It sure could have. I'd like you to overnight me a copy of those checks, then put them in a safe deposit box.
-Okay.
-Send it to me through the post office like we arranged. No return address. You dug this up all by yourself?
-You told me to look, so I looked.
-Hello?
-Mrs. Christian, Tom Welles here.
-How are you? Having any luck?
-I don't know if luck's the word. Are you feeling alright?
-I've been ordered into bed. The doctor says I've gotten the flu, or some other wretched ailment.
-I hope it's nothing serious.
-Nothing more than a bother. Have you any news for me?
-I've made progress. I'm in Manhattan. Once a few more pieces fall into place, I'll drive to you and give you an update.
-I've got about five thousand left in cash, but I'll need another thirty, if you approve.
-How will I get it to you?
-Yes... ?
-I've been hired as an independent contractor by the U.S. Resource Center for Missing Persons as part of an internal audit. If you have any time over the next few days, I'd like to make an appointment to ask some questions about the disappearance of your daughter.
-I don't understand, who are... ?
-I'm sorry, let me explain, the R.C.M.P. is a support organization and archive, not unlike the Center for Missing and Exploited Children in Washington. I'm sure you've dealt with them before?
-Yes, but...
-What was the name... ? I've got it here somewhere...
-Neil... Neil Cole.
-Right, Agent Cole told me he'd call and let you know to expect me. He didn't call?
-No.
-It's very important you don't let this raise your expectations. It's not going to effect any ongoing efforts. All I'm saying is, please know, I'm not here to create any false hope.
-They hired you. You're like, a private detective?
-I didn't think there were private detectives anymore, except on TV.
-So, she didn't leave a note? She never gave any indication where she might go, before she left?
-No.
-She just seemed... depressed... ?
-She didn't seem herself. For months there never was any way to get her to talk about it. One night we went to bed... the next morning she was gone. She took some clothes.
-What was she running from?
-I don't know.
-If there's anything you feel uncomfortable talking about, tell me, but I have to ask. Your husband... he committed suicide?
-Yes.
-September 4th, 1993. About a year after Mary disappeared.
-We were divorced by then. Things fell apart... he was living with a friend...
-Why do you think he did it?
-It got to be too much for him.
-You have to forgive me, but in these circumstances... with your daughter... Were there any indications of... any sort of abuse?
-There wasn't anything like that. The police and the FBI people asked, but there wasn't anything happened like that, never. My husband... his heart broke when Mary left...
-I didn't mean to...
-You try going through what we did. Bob couldn't take it, that's all. Christ, there's times when it still seems like I can't either.
-I had to ask. I apologize.
-People remember me from the news. Can you drive me back now?
-I... I shouldn't take anymore of your time. Maybe we can finish tomorrow. I'll call tomorrow...
-Doesn't make much sense, does it? When everything's happy, when life's fine and you have every reason to believe there's a God, you don't bother. Then, something horrible happens... that's when you start praying all the time. That's when you start going to church.
-We're all like that.
-Are you religious?
-No.
-I've got what I need for my report. There is... there is one thing that bothers me though.
-What?
-It's not really my place, but it's not easy for me to set aside the private detective part of me either. See, I know a little about missing persons. When kids run, they almost always leave a note. It's guilt. They want to say goodbye.
-There wasn't one. The police looked.
-Do you think the police did a good job?
-I don't know. I think so.
-It is possible... and I know this isn't something you want to hear. Your daughter may have tried to hide a note where she thought you would eventually find it, but where she knew your husband would never find it. She might have wanted to tell you something...
-No. You don't have any reason to think that...
-How... how can you say that to me...?
-Will you let me look?
-My husband never laid a hand on her. She would have told me... she would have told me...
-You were right. I didn't find anything. I'm going to run and get something to eat. Are you hungry?
-I think about it everyday. But, every time the phone rings... every single time, I still think it's her.
-It's been six years.
-Hello... ?
-Mrs. Mathews? It's Thomas. Do you remember, I was there a few weeks ago... asking about your daughter...
-I remember. You just left...
-What are you talking about... ?
-She went to California, to Los Angeles... she wanted to start over. She wanted to be an actress...
-Mrs. Mathews, your daughter is dead. She's dead.
-Who is this... ?
-Someone... some men, they took your daughter and they drugged her, and they took her to a motel room... they did terrible things to her...
-Who are you?
-They brought her into the room... one man, he put a knife to her throat and he raped her...
-No...
-He raped her and...and...and he murdered her...he cut her up with knifes...
-No... no... no...
-They killed her, and they took her out in the forest somewhere and they buried her...
-Why... why are you doing this to me... ?
-Yes... I remember Mary
-You... you do? You're sure? Please, Sister, will you take another look, make sure...
-Do you know what happened to her?
-What is this?
-Those are her belongings.
-Her belongings?
-Whatever possessed you to keep this all this time?
-She was the kindest, sweetest girl you'd ever want to meet. Oh, I adored her. I supposed I always hoped she'd be back. After a time, all I could do was pray she had moved on to better things. Can you get this suitcase to her parents, if you think it's appropriate?
-Your son-in-law dealt with the dry cleaning franchise during the day, saw that woman every night. The specifics are in the report, and information about the woman. It's unpleasant, I know. I apologize...
-None too discreet, is he?
-No, sir, he is not.
-The um... you'll find my invoice in the envelope. If that's all...
-Yes, Mister Welles, thank you.
-Okay, I'll take it all.
-Excellent. we accept MasterCard and American Express.
-Alright. May I have your phone number, area code first?
-No, you may not.
-I'm required by state law to inform you that, while it's perfectly legal for you to purchase these items, it is illegal for you to use them for any sort of...
-Yeah, I know the spiel. If you could bag it, I'll be on my way, thank you.
-Don't you think it kind of defeats the purpose?
-What?
-The mirror. You can't see yourself in it.
-Yeah. She'd be half as strict as you.
-But she wouldn't let Dad treat me like that.
-Rick...I can't.
-Alice, you think you can leave?
-What's wrong?
-Kincaid and Joey died last night.
-You alright?
-I heard you screaming. Was it a bad one?
-It was bad.
-Doesn't the dream master work for you anymore?
-Hey, since when do you play Thomas Edison? This looks like Sheila's.
-It is...was. It's a zapper, it might help me stay awake.
-I can't go back to sleep again.
-We'll figure it out.
-Figure it out?!?! I'll be insane before I figure it out. The only thing I'm sure of is that I can't go to sleep. Not while he's using me.
-Here you are. Where were you this morning? Rick's looking all over for you.
-Have you seen Joey and Kincaid! God, I can't find them. I can't find them anywhere.
-I'm sure they're around.
-I love to dream, I just hate ones about my dad.
-My mom taught me when I was little. Did you ever hear of the dream master?
-Sounds like a game show host to me.
-No really, it's a fable. The 'guardian of good' dreams. It was like my teddy bear when I was growing up.
-I daydream. you have to dream about some place fun. Remember you're in control.
-How'd you learn so much about dreams?
-You what?
-Kristen, what happened?
-You in a hurry?
-I gotta get to the library before it closes. Killer physics test.
-I know. I hardly have any time to study.
-Maybe you shouldn't be working here so much. You don't want to get stuck waiting tables for the rest of your life.
-Ohhhhbaby, I am dead on my feet.
-We have matching luggage.
-You've been up all night?
-That obvious, huh?
-Then you saw him, too?
-No...
-You're his sister, right?
-Rick stayed later after school with Kristen. She wasn't feeling very well.
-Tell him I was looking for him, okay? I'm Dan.
-I thought it was an accident. Smoking in bed.
-I was there in the dream. He took her. It was awful. It was awful...
-No, don't! I gave Sheila to him and now she's dead!
-I've been working double shifts.
-Extra money, huh?
-No offense, or anything, but it's kind of hard to swallow.
-How long have you been awake?
-Alright, let's assume this whole thing is true. Why does Freddy all of a sudden need you?
-Not really.
-Is there something we can do?
-You don't really get it. He's not a nightstalker. It'll take more than bench presses to beat him.
-Why can't we just talk to the authorities?
-Yeah, right. Let's trade death by Freddy for life in a rubber room. Adults won't see it. They can't.
-Then what else can we do?
-Try what other kids did. Keep each other awake. We'll meet at Debbie's tonight. At least if we don't sleep he can't get us.
-He's going after Debbie, I gotta stop him.
-Hey, you're not alone. We have to stop him, I'm with you.
-You just feel sorry for me.
-As long as your driving doesn't kill us.
-He's going after Debbie. I gotta stop him.
-Here we are.
-What the hell was that?
-You look great!
-Rick, please.
-I think Sheila's more interested in dissecting bodies than just admiring them.
-Asthma attack...what 17-year old has a fatal asthma attack? She was gonna be a doctor.
-It was Freddy.
-Enough of that crap.
-T-T-Thanks Alice...
-Hey, Rick!
-I don't get it.
-So what's up? What'd I miss?
-She told us the story of Freddy. It's a town legend. He was a child killer who was freed on a technicality.
-So?
-It pissed off a lot of parents. According to Kristen, they hunted him down; roasted him alive.
-Nice neighborhood.
-Hey man, we're all sorry...
-Been up with Alice.
-How she doing? I ran into her last night.
-She's blaming herself for Sheila. I know how it feels. I've been thinking about Kristen. Maybe I could've stopped it, if I'd listened.
-About Freddy?
-Something the matter with the cuisine?
-Well Mom, I'll tell ya, when two of your friends die the same day, you let me know what it does to your appetite.
-What's wrong with me?
-I'm sorry honey, but...
-Sorry!! Sorry that you and your tennis pals torched this guy who's now after me. In case you haven't been keeping score, it's his fucking banquet, and I'm the LAST COURSE!!
-Honey, we went over this in therapy.
-Something wrong with the stairs?
-Avoid-all-contact-day.
-What?
-What is it?
-Now you know who and what Freddy really is.
-I though Freddy was just an old town story.
-I'll tell you later.
-It's no just a house. It's his home. He's waiting there for me...to dream.
-It's okay, babe. We're with you.
-Feeling better now?
-Yeah. I guess so... What happened?
-I gotta get out of here.
-You just stay put. You need rest.
-You don't get it, he's after me...
-Excuse us, dear.
-Frankly, dear, we wondered what you intend to do with our baby?
-Look, I appreciate what you're offering, but no. He is my responsibility.
-In your present condition, Alice, we're worried about your ability --
-We know you've been through a lot but there's more than your feelings at stake here.
-Hey...wake up.
-Shouldn't you be in your room, Jacob?
-It's lonely in there, in my room.
-I'm sorry your boyfriend got killed.
-How did you know that?
-Hi, you don't look very well. Are you feeling all right?
-Is that who you're waiting for?
-I don't think this is a nice place for you to be. Maybe we should go find your Mom.
-She doesn't want me around
-No you're not. You don't even care about being a mom. How come you don't think about me?
-Who says I don't like you?
-Mommy...?
-Where is he?
-What do you mean?
-But how...?
-Hi, beautiful.
-Jesus! Don't do that!
-The tickets.
-They're coach seats, but the plane lands in Paris. It's gonna be a helluva summer, hon!
-Okay, babe. What's the matter?
-Nothing...it's just...I didn't see my father at the ceremony.
-About him?
-You stopped it didn't you? It was probably just a regular bad dream.
-Yeah...I guess.
-You don't dream him up, he can't hurt you. Or me. Or us. Remember...
-You're right.
-There you go. Love you.
-I was afraid you weren't coming.
-I watched from behind the stands. Didn't want to embarrass you, ya know. "The drunk showed up", that kind of thing...
-That's in the past. Unless you've stopped going to the meetings.
-Dad!
-Where are we going?
-Thanks for everything, Dad.
-You sure you don't want a ride to work?
-I'm so sorry, honey...
-How was the meeting?
-Sobering...
-Very funny.
-Alice...
-Since when are you such a smart shopper?
-Since my little girl became a mom...
-You disappointed in me?
-Alice!
-I've got to go.
-No! I won't have you running around in the middle of the night. You're coming home.
-But Dad --
-Hey, what's wrong with you -- let's see a smile.
-Had kind of a long night.
-Dan keeping you up again? Put a lock on that window, girl.
-Good to see you again, Mr. Grey. I've got to go find Dan.
-It was no accident. It was Krueger. He used to get in through my dreams, but not anymore. He's found some other way.
-Have you visited the little boy on my floor? Jacob, the one who looks kind of sad?
-There aren't any little boys on your floor.
-Did everyone call everyone?
-What's that got to do with it?
-It was just an accident. Like with Dan.
-I don't understand what's happening. Krueger has to use my dreams, but he got to Dan and Greta while I was awake. How's he doing it?
-You had me scared on the phone. What's wrong with the baby?
-Oh, Alice...no. Honey, I love you but you're going to have to get a hold of yourself...
-I really think you need to calm down now, okay?
-I am your friend, and I'm worried sick about you. But, you're like a locked safe. You've gotta start dealing with reality.
-Krueger is reality.
-And so is your baby. You've got more than just yourself to think of now!
-All I know is that you are not doing yourself or the baby any good by acting like a crazy woman. Why don't you take off - leave Springwood and cool out somewhere for a while?
-Look...we're all tired. None of us had any sleep since Friday night...
-Are you alright?
-You think that's the place she's buried?
-What?
-But how are we gonna --
-You do good work, Alice.
-He sure loves to stay awake.
-Give up, Mark, it's hopeless.
-Not to mention the heartbreak of psoriasis.
-My dad's got this thing about drinking in the house.
-I've got to write some of this down.
-Mark, are you okay?
-I want to talk to both you guys about Greta. And...
-I thought about that.
-Then get out!
-Do you think I'm an idiot...for being in love with her?
-Maybe it was her mother who killed her, with all that Polly Perfect shit.
-Tell me some more about this Krueger guy.
-Who's Jacob?
-My baby!
-Whoa, slow down. How're you gonna hide from a guy like that, leave the planet?
-Where are you going?
-I couldn't do that, Mark. He's my last link with Dan...No, I want him.
-They think I'm nuts.
-No, it's our problem, Mark. If I don't deal with this, they really might try to take Jacob. You said she committed suicide?
-That's what the newspapers thought. She spent the rest of her life in the asylum. After Krueger's trial she flipped out and hung herself, so they thought.
-They couldn't prove it. No body! Nuns bumping themselves off is bad for business.
-But I've seen her grave.
-Poor woman...
-I don't understand.
-Yeah, when are you gonna come to your senses?
-Next life. Oh, what's that?
-Meet me later. Milkshakes. Cherry pie. Banana splits. And no mom!
-That club sucks, they card everybody. Let's just party at your place.
-He's right. Sometimes I feel like I'm living with Melicertes.
-Who?
-Oh man! I could've gone all night without looking at that.
-These things are wild... What do you think?
-All right kids, I tell you what we're gonna do. I've got swimming practice until six-thirty today...
-Yeah...
-Have another one, sounds like you need it.
-Naah, I'm done. Got to be on shift in a couple hours. Aren't you going in?
-Stop saying that, it's bullshit.
-Look. Dan's parents were pushing him. Pushing him hard. He was bitching about it at the party last night. He was under pressure. We all are.
-Bottom line, Alice. Anybody, supernatural or not, that wants to hurt you - he'll have to go through us first.
-Dan. And he's taking Alice with him -- pretty good dive Yvonne. You've been practicing.
-Vomit?
-Why don't you shut up and let her talk! Two of us died in the last two days, does that strike you as particularly normal?!
-Mark...
-I'm not finished - I loved Greta. A lot. And if maybe, just maybe, someone or some thing killed her, I'd like to hear about it!
-It's okay.
-You, too?
-I should have suspectcd, when I heard that 'Doctor.' I thought it was your father.
-It was supposed to be. Dad had a heart attack, two days ago.
-How is he - ?
-It was moderate. He'll be all right. But it was out of the question, his coming along.
-You could train someone else.
-What is it?
-Your 'out.' This came for you.
-My father! He's not - ?
-What did you mean: I'm 'out?'
-You 'trade school boys' are all alike, aren't you? Anybody who doesn't happen to think like a little gold-braided puppet is, ipso facto, a coward!
-Wearing a uniform doesn't bestow an automatic monopoly on courage, <u>Commander</u>! It just so happens I'm <u>not</u> a coward - physical or mental - and before I'd risk my father's life...
-We're <u>all</u> risking our lives!
-That may be. But Dad stays where <u>he</u> is, and I'm staying here!
-You're really a mixed-up oddball, aren't you?
-Perhaps. But the idea of willingly going to <u>school</u> to spend my <u>life</u> at a Paleozoic pastime that should have disappeared with the thunder-lizards - I'm referring to War - <u>that</u> strikes me as the <u>worst</u> cowardice of all - being spiritually yellow!
-You mean <u>nothing</u> is worth fighting for?
-Peace - the dignity of man - the destiny of the human spirit! Show me a man who says you win <u>those</u> by fighting wars, and <u>I'll</u> show you an idiot!
-Unidentified Flying Objects.
-That's enough, Holloway. I've told you before, wearing boards on your shoulders, and parading with a stiff spine doesn't auto- matically endow you with back- bone - !
-However our ideas disagree, as I've said before, I'm <u>not</u> a coward! And it happens you've got no choice: Either <u>I</u> take you down there, in the Lungfish, or you don't get there -
-They're so remote - cold - beautiful, the stars. But now - I wonder -
-Yes?
-Maybe - just 'maybe' - when their ship doesn't return - they'll decide not to come here, after all.
-But if they <u>do</u>?
-I don't know.
-I wouldn't worry. So long as we have boats like the Tiger Shark - and people like you, the Skipper, Dave, Kent, Sir Ian and my father -
-Now, Dave Old Buddy, you know you're exaggerating - What do you think of this husband of yours? On most boats a certain loyalty exists between the Exec and his Navigation and Firing Officer. But unfortunately, in the case of Lieutenant Dave Milburn of the Tiger Shark and myself -
-But Julie's a nice girl, and I've seen you work. She deserves a fighting chance!
-Reef!
-So they caught up with you, too?
-At the worst possible moment. Tomorrow is Janie's birthday. Poor little kid has looked forward for two months to having her Daddy home. Now -
-<u>That's</u> the worst possible moment?
-What could be worse than disappoint- ing a little girl?
-You've asked why I stay a bachelor? There goes the best reason I know!
-Huh?
-I guess Skipper Neilsen re- tired before you enrolled at the Academy, didn't he?
-I guess.
-One of the finest men, and officers, alive. A real hero - in the best sense of the word - in World War Two. He taught us Engineering and Design. Fought like a demon to develop atom subs.
-So?
-So all of a sudden his only son drops out of school, be- gins making noises like a pacifist. A real egghead, do-gooder, and crackpot! 'Ban the atom tests! Junk the nuclear subs! Spend the mili- tary budgetfor peace!'
-But <u>they're</u> not Skipper Neilsen's son! It broke his heart. Then when some newspapers called Carl 'the honest, sincere son of a war-mongering father' - Captain Neilsen resigned from the Navy. Oh, he still keeps his hand in - playing around with projects like the 'Lungfish' - but it broke him, all the same.
-Have you ever talked to Carl - tried to see his side?
-Cyclops?
-We're stuck tight!
-You've got to let us try, Skipper --
-'Us?'
-You all wait here. I'm going inside, take a look.
-How about that! The bow drove half through her, but she sealed herself right up.
-What's more important - there's our problem. The bow ram - the sawteeth are holding the Shark in the break. If we can cut the ram, the Shark can pull herself loose!
-I think you're right.
-Yeah?
-I don't hear anything. Maybe you've been down here too long. Why don't you go back up and -
-Hey - you know somethin'? It's getting lighter in here!
-And if I didn't <u>know</u> better - I'd swear we were moving!
-You hear that?
-Where do you think the voice you heard was coming from?
-Somewhere down there?
-Wonder where Powell and Carney are?
-Well?
-Here - keep these. It wants me to come alone.
-Dave - !
-Get ready. We shove off as soon as Griff reports all the crew aboard.
-Is there any way out of it?
-Seems to be all around...
-What about down?
-Course and speed?
-A mass of jelly-like stuff came out of the thing, and caught our torpedo!
-What course, Skipper?
-You better take Powell and Carney with you --
-The frogmen?
-With their underwater experience, they'll be invaluable. Take sidearms, and flare pistols --
-Sidearms? But the saucer's dead.
-Excuse me, Skipper---
-Yes, Griff?
-Skipper - could you take a look here...?
-Something wrong?
-The inertial navigation system. Must have been knocked out in the crash.
-Why do you say that?
-We're dead in the water. But it indicates we're moving!
-We read you! Go ahead, Doctor! They're inside the saucer. It's filled with breathable air!
-Wonderful!
-Now they feel it...down below.
-Excuse me, Captain - there may be one last, desperate chance - a one-in-a-thousand shot...
-Anything ---
-It's possible I could adapt one of the torpedo guidance systems to the ICBM - so it would 'home' on the saucer when he rises from the Pole.
-It doesn't seem possible, but - could it be an electrical storm center - ?
-Under <u>water</u>?
-...above Murmansk, and Finland.
-Suppose our theorizing is correct? Then this <u>could</u> be the next danger point!
-We took for granted his source of energy was nuclear. But suppose it isn't at all - what if it's <u>magnetic</u>?
-<u>We</u> harness energy on a small scale by cutting magnetic lines of force. Maybe Cyclops does it on a <u>super</u> scale....
-....in such a way as to prevent his returning to it and, as you put it.... ...'recharging his batteries'?
-The radiation level - from the saucer - it's rising!
-As we near the Pole...
-There's got to be an explanation!
-All ready?
-Thought you were going to Washington, Skipper.
-I did go. Just back. Reef, these are a couple of our passengers - Sir Ian Hunt, and Dr. Clifford Kent. My exec, Commander Richard Holloway.
-I'm - afraid I have some bad news for you, Reef - You'll have to share quarters, this trip.
-Who with?
-'Doctor' Neilsen? When did <u>that</u> happen?
-Huh?
-What do you think?
-Determine extent of damage, immediately.
-You're sure it's Cyclops?
-What's the running time?
-Right <u>at</u> him?
-That's what I said!
-But - what can we accomplish?
-A hundred and eighty fathoms! We can't be sinking that fast....
-It's the screws, Skipper. At our declination angle, running in reverse, they're pulling the Shark <u>and</u> Cyclops right to the bottom.
-Suppose there's an atmosphere, of some kind, inside Cyclops?
-What?
-Straight to the Pole - at almost fifty knots!
-What's the corrected bearing to the Magnetic Pole?
-Remove your weapons, Commander. And come here - alone!
-That's a <u>face</u>???
-Point of view is everything. To us, <u>your</u> form of life is ugly as we appear to you.
-My mission is to study various solar systems, and planets - select the most suitable for colonization -
-Swell!
-He did!
-Why not me? What am I - the closing act?
-On the contrary. I want you - unharmed - perfect.
-Why?
-It is a living thing. When damaged - you would say 'wounded' - it immediately 'heals' itself.
-That's why no water leaked inside when we rammed you?
-To navigate, won't you have to... see your way?
-Obviously.
-My yeoman will show you to your quarters.
-See what?
-Well, I'll be - !
-Just musing about our 'one-eyed adversary' and the legend of Homer. 'Cyclopes' were the Sons of Heaven, who forged the thunder- bolts thrown by Zeus.
-You plotted the course of Cyclops? Then that's <u>our</u> course! Wherever <u>he</u> goes, <u>we</u> go.....until we get him!
-We've asked ourselves that - over and over - a thousand times.
-Due north. At five knots...no, six!
-Cyclops will have to linger at the Pole to recharge his power banks.
-You got yourself a computer, Alma.
-Been putting my files into it. You take sugar and milk?
-Are you alright, Wade?
-Yeah, sure. Why? I got this damned tooth, I got a few things bugging me, like everybody else. But I'm okay.
-Well, you look... sad. Upset. I don't mean to pry. I'm sorry about your mother. It was a nice funeral.
-Alma, I think there's some dirty business going on in this town.
-Always has been.
-This is maybe worse than you and I are used to. What I'm talking about, I'm talking about murder. Among other things.
-Who?
-Evan Twombley, the union boss who got shot. Somebody murdered him.
-Who?
-...if Jack told the truth, he could be free by the time he's my age.
-Sometimes things are simpler than you think. Let me ask you a question.
-You don't believe me?
-About Jack? No. Have you checked out the tax bill on your father's farm lately?
-I know he's due for the last two years. I was thinking of paying it when the insurance comes in.
-Has anybody offered to buy it?
-This is from three years ago. Some difference, huh?
-What is the Northcountry Development Association?
-I went down to Concord to check it out. The president is Mel Gordon. The vice-president and treasurer is Gordon LaRiviere. Those boys are buying up the mountain, Wade. $364,000 this year. I believe that's out of LaRiviere's league.
-Twombley involved?
-No.
-He musta found out. They had to get rid of him. And Jack'll get blamed.
-What are you boys up to?
-The good news is we haven't got to your car yet. The bad news --
-Just tell me when you'll have it fixed.
--- the bad news is there's a problem with Gordon's truck what somebody drove through the ice last night. Figured you'd know something about that, Wade.
-Yeah. I know about that.
-LaRiviere says he ain't gonna pay for the fixin' of your car. A couple hundred for the clutch. I got some more bad news. Wanna hear it?
-Tell me.
-Chub says you're fired.
-He can't fire me. LaRiviere already did that this morning.
-I screwed up the divorce. I agreed with everything she said. I wanted her to like me. I just want to be a good father.
-It would help if you were married, if there was someone at home while you work.
-I plan to. Soon.
-How soon?
-This spring.
-Good. It would help if there were some drug or alcohol abuse on the part of your ex-wife. Sexual problems upsetting to the child.
-It looks pretty hopeless, don't it?
-No, not exactly. I'll look at the divorce decree, see if we can get it redrawn. Interview your daughter. Jill, right?
-Yes.
-Fine. I'll need a $500 retainer. You can mail it.
-Jesus. How much... how much will the whole thing cost?
-Hard to say. If we go for custody, depositions, psychiatric evaluations, it could drag on. Ten or twelve thousand dollars. She could win on appeal. If we just want to get the visitation rights redrawn, assuming they're unduly restrictive, it wouldn't be more than twenty-five hundred.
-Oh.
-You might be better off legally as well as financially to just go for the --
-You heard the news.
-I hear Twombley got shot.
-You see it?
-Nope. Heard it. We wasn't far apart. I spotted this buck, then I heard the gun go off and Twombley was gone. I looked over the little cliff we was using for a stand and there the fucker was, deader'n shit. Called it right in.
-Might as well take the rest of the day off. You look sort of fucked up. You've been paid for the day, anyhow, right?
-Not exactly. I mean, he never paid me.
-You'll get your money. Don't talk to any newspapers about this. Twombley's a big deal down in Massachusetts, you know. Tell them your lawyer says you shouldn't comment.
-Lawyer? I don't need no lawyer, do I?
-He's on to us!
-Shit! What are we gonna do?
-Maybe I can buy him off. I gotta talk to Mel.
-You can't buy Wade off.
-We bought you.
-It's not enough snow, not for tracking the bastards. No advantage there, kid.
-Don't worry, Mr. Twombley, I know where those suckers are. Rain or shine, snow or no snow. I know deer. We'll kill us a buck today. Guaranteed. Before ten.
-Guaranteed, eh?
-Yep. Right about now the does are holing up in the brush piles. The bucks are right behind them and we're right behind the bucks. This gun gets fired before ten o'clock. Whether it kills a deer or not is more less up to you. I'll put you inside 30, 35 yards of a buck the first four hours of the season. That's what
-Done much shooting with that rifle yet?
-Tell you what. You get me close to a big buck by ten, kid, there's another hundred bucks in it.
-If you get it?
-Yeah.
-You might not kill it.
-You think so.
-You might gut-shoot it or cripple it for somebody else to find and tag. Can't guarantee that won't happen, especially with a new gun. I may have to shoot it.
-You take care of your end, kid, I'll take care of mine.
-Mmm.
-You understand what I'm saying? I want a deer, a dead one, not a cripple or whatthefuck.
-I get it. No sweat. You'll get yourself a deer and you'll get him dead. And you'll have him by coffee time.
-And you'll get your extra hundred bucks.
-I'm okay.
-I used to play ball.
-Yeah?
-Drafted by the Red Sox.
-You played for the Sox?
-Double A. New Britain.
-Oh.
-Pitcher. "Best ballplayer to come out of New Hampshire since Carlton Fisk."
-Really.
-They said.
-Hmm.
-The only difference between me and that Clemens on TV is luck, shit luck.
-What happened?
-Safety on?
-Yeah.
-This way.
-Sun's gettin high.
-Fresh tracks. Deer shit. Big one. Here's your buck, Mr. Twombley. I'll circle around.
-Don't mind if I do.
-LaRiviere's having a hell of a time in there. Master of fucking ceremonies.
-No brag. Just fact.
-I thought I told you to move that truck!
-Relax, Chief. We're leaving. You wanna toke?
-You gotta be more careful about that shit. Gordon or one of those guys sees you smoking that wacky tabacky around me they'll expect me to bust you. And I'll be outta a job.
-Some job. Here, have a hit. Don't be such a hardass. I know you got problems, but everybody's got problems.
-Got a job first thing in the morning, first day of season. Saturday I'll hunt for myself. Twombley something. - Er --
-Evan. He's a mucky-muck union official from Massachusetts. You're lucky.
-Don't know about lucky. The guy's a full-blown asshole. Pay's good, though. $100 a day. I got to guarantee a kill, of course. Which I can do. There's some monster bucks hiding out up there.
-How'd you get the job?
-Like you and Gordon?
-Right. The sonofabitch couldn't get along without me.
-Yeah, he'd go broke tomorrow if you quit him.
-Bastard's got his high beams on.
-Aw, shit, she's here to get Jill. Me and Jill had a little argument. Jack, I got to get back, get back to town. Move this thing, will you? See if you can get back to the Town Hall before they get there, okay?
-Where'd Twombley get shot?
-In the chest.
-No, I mean whereabouts.
-A half mile in, along the old lumber road.
-You bring him up yourself? That's a steep climb.
-The ambulance guys lugged him up.
-You stayed away?
-Yeah.
-Where'd you get the blood?
-What blood?
-On your sleeve.
-Musta... How'd I know? What're you doing, playing cop?
-I gotta make a report to Fish and Game. I was just wondering, that's all. What'd he do, to shoot himself, I mean?
-Who the fuck knows? Musta slipped or something. I just heard the gun go off.
-I never seen a man shot before. Not even in the service. Must be something.
-Well, I didn't actually see him do it. Like I said.
-Sure you did.
-What?
-Saw him do it?
-What the fuck you telling me, Wade? I never seen the guy get shot, I told you that.
-You musta seen him get shot. I know you did.
-There's your old twenty-gauge, and that there's the new Browning you was showing me last night. This must be Twombley's gun. Brand new. Very fancy tooling. Probably fired one time. It's a beautiful piece of work. But what the hell, Jack, I guess you deserve it. Right's right.
-Yeah.
-Twombley sure as hell won't be shooting it again.
-I'm fucking out of here.
-Lawford?
-Open the door, will ya?
-Why don't you quit now, you want out so bad?
-Open the door. We're late.
-I mean it -- you got enough money now. Head out for California. Surf's up, Jack, and you're digging wells in the snow.
-I'm sorry for the screw-up. But I couldn't help it it's too late to go trick-or-treating now. I couldn't help it I had to stop at Penny's for the costume. And you were hungry, remember.
-Who's fault is it then if it's not yours? You're the one in charge, Daddy.
-Yeah.
-Those are the Hoyts.
-I don't care. They're out.
-Why do they do that?
-Do what?
-You know.
-Break stuff?
-Yeah. It's stupid.
-I guess they're stupid.
-Did you do that when you were a kid?
-Well, yeah. Sort of. Nothing really mean. Me and my pals, me and my brothers. It was kind of funny then. Stealing pumpkins, soaping windows. Stuff like that.
-Was it funny?
-To us it was.
-But it's not funny now.
-It's not funny now. I'm a cop and I gotta listen to all the complaints people make. I'm not a kid anymore. You change.
-I bet you did lots of bad things.
-What are you talking about?
-I just think you used to be bad.
-No. I didn't used to be bad. No sir. Where do you get this stuff? From your mother?
-Go on, Jill. Some of those kids you still know.
-I don't want to.
-Why? Why not? You know these kids from when you went to school here. It hasn't been that long.
-It's not that.
-What then?
-It's stupid.
-It's fun.
-I want to go home. I don't like it here.
-Some party, huh? Sorry I lost sight of you. I had to step outside for a smoke. You find anybody you know here? There must be some kids you used to know from school. You want to go tomorrow? See your old teachers? Be more fun than hanging out with me all day.
-No.
-No what?
-No I didn't see anybody I know. No I don't want to go to school here tomorrow. I want to go home.
-You are home. There are lots of kids you still know here.
-I don't want to be here. Don't worry, I love you, Daddy, I do. But I want to go home.
-Jesus. Listen, Jill, tell you what. Tomorrow morning, you still want to go home, I'll drive you down. I'll get off work or something.
-I called Mommy.
-What? You called Mommy? Just now?
-Yes.
-Jesus, why?
-I... because I want to go home. She said she'd come and get me.
-Come and get you! Shit! It's a damn half hour drive each way. Why didn't you talk to me about it first?
-See, I knew you'd be mad.
-Yeah. Yeah, right, I'm mad. What'd you tell her, for Christ sake?
-I told her I wanted to come home. Daddy, don't be mad at me.
-She's gone already! Gone already! Couldn't wait.
-Yes.
-That's all you got to say? "Yes".
-Yes.
-She won't be here for a half hour. Think you can stand it that long?
-Yes.
-Sit right there by yourself if you want. Wait for her by yourself. That's fine with me. Just dandy. I'm going downstairs.
-Dad.
-Are we going in this?
-Yeah. My car's in the shop. This'll be fine.
-It's pretty old.
-It belongs to Pop.
-Pop?
-Grandpa. My father. It's his.
-How about a Big Mac?
-Mommy won't let me eat fast food. You know that. It's bad for you.
-C'mon, we can always sneak a Big Mac. And a cherry turnover. Your favorite. What do you say?
-No.
-What do you want, then?
-Nothing.
-You can't have nothing, Jill. We need lunch. Mr. Pizza?
-Same thing, Daddy. Mommy says --
-I know what Mommy says. I'm in charge today, though.
-Nothing, I guess. I guess I can wait till we get home. Maybe we'll stop by Wickham's for a hamburger when we get to Lawford. That suit you? You always like Wickham's.
-Okay.
-Please don't cry. Please, honey.
-What are you sorry for?
-I don't know. For the food business. I guess. I just thought, you know, we'd sneak a Big Mac on Mommy, like we used to.
-I want to go home.
-That's illegal, you know.
-I know.
-You're a policeman.
-Nope. Not anymore. I'm nothing anymore.
-Jill, please, it's alright. Nothing happened.
-I want to go home.
-We're looking for the funniest costume! And the scariest! And the most imaginative! And the best costume of all!
-Tomorrow, Gordon.
-Told you the snow was coming down. Take the grader.
-Where's the plow?
-Jimmy took it. Jack's out hunting with Evan Twombley.
-His son-in-law damn near killed me.
-Huh?
-At the school crossing. In his BMW. Coulda hurt some kids. I'm gonna bust his ass.
-Don't go playing policeman.
-What am I -- a security guard? You hired me, you and your Selectman friends.
-You don't want the extra police pay?
-I'm not saying that.
-Get the grader. Go out 29 past Toby's. Don't let Lillian get to you. She didn't belong here. That's why she left.
-Fuck you.
-What's the hurry?
-A hunting accident. Jack and Twombley.
-Huh?
-I figured you already heard.
-Fuck. Turn it off. All you heard was there was some kinda accident?
-Twombley's shot. I heard that. Not Jack. He's okay, I assume.
-Fuck. You don't know how bad or anything?
-You mean Twombley?
-He more than likely just shot himself in the foot or something. That's what usually happens.
-I shoulda sent you instead of Jack.
-I wish you had. I'd rather be deer hunting instead of freezing my ass on that fucking grader.
-You ain't the hunter Jack is. And he can't drive the grader worth shit.
-That must've been Twombley. Jesus. I bet that was Twombley.
-You want me to follow them to Littleton?
-What the fuck. My day's already ruined. Give me the keys. You can go back with Jack. You still got a shitload of plowing to do.
-It ain't done, if that's what you mean.
-Something bugging you?
-Yeah. A few things.
-How you holding up, Wade?
-I'm fine, fine.
-Sorry about the long lunch. My clutch is going out again.
-You ever think of getting a new car, Wade?
-On what you pay me?
-What do I have to do for it?
-Nothing, Wade, I've been thinking. You don't get enough appreciation around here and it's time we changed things a little.
-I saw Mel Gordon in here this morning.
-So?
-He say anything about the summons I tried to give him? Sonofabitch wouldn't accept it.
-Wade, that wasn't smart. Going out right after the man's father-in-law shot himself. Let it go. Call it a favor to me.
-You? Why?
-Mel's doing some business with me. It's nice to do favors for people you do business with. He was in a hurry. No big deal.
-That was before Twombley was shot. Before he knew.
-What's the difference? Take my truck, take a rest -- stop worrying about Mel Gordon. Have you decided what to do with your old man's place -- he going to stay there?
-Want to buy?
-Don't light that in here. I'm allergic.
-I won't. You interested?
-Maybe.
-You and Mel Gordon?
-Could be.
-Wade, you're done. Let me have the shop keys.
-You two, don't you get it? He's using you. You're his slaves. Jesus Christ, Jack, don't you see that?
-The key, Wade.
-Lillian!
-Me and Jill, we just had a little spat. She felt kind of left out, I guess, from not knowing some of the new kids --
-While you went off for a few beers with your friends? Is that Hettie Rodgers there, with whatzizname?
-Yeah.
-She's grown up some, hasn't she?
-I don't want her to go, Lillian.
-Don't cause a scene. No one's trying to win any 'rounds'. Don't make it any worse.
-You ever come to your father's grave anymore?
-No, not anymore. It's too... it's too far.
-We should talk.
-We've done all our talking, Wade.
-It's just...
-Wait there. She'll be right out. Is there snow on the ground up in Lawford?
-Yeah, lots.
-See. Get your boots.
-No problem. Look, I...
-You make me sick. I can't believe you've sunk so low.
-Low as what? What have I done? It's bad to want to see your own daughter?
-Are you okay, Wade? What was wrong? Why were you holding everyone up?
-Did you see that sonofabitch in the BMW? He could've killed somebody.
-Did you get his number?
-I know who it is.
-Good. Who?
-Mel Gordon.
-I still don't understand --
-New hat? Jill's up, I see.
-For a while.
-How's she doing?
-Okay. She's fine.
-Don't worry. I can protect my virtue. I mean, c'mon, Wade, give me a break.
-See you tomorrow, maybe.
-You okay?
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry about what I said.
-Said what?
-About you and Jill and needing a third person. She went back to Lillian?
-Forget it.
-I'm sorry.
-You don't mean that.
-Yeah. I mean that.
-No you don't. You're pissed, that's all. You ought to cool off for a few days then have a long talk with Lillian. You know? Work it out with her, tell her how you feel. Lillian's not out to get you.
-Call me.
-Tonight. Let's get together.
-Jack's sort of sensitive, I guess. More than most. But he'll be okay in a few weeks.
-There's something funny about that shooting. There's lots funny about it, actually.
-I heard he was drunk at Toby's last night and got in a fight with Hettie. He drove off without her...
-I'm sure, I'm positive it didn't happen the way Jack says it did.
-...Jack's turned into one of those men who are permanently angry. He used to be a sweet kid, but it's like, when he found out he couldn't play ball anymore, he changed. Now he's like everyone else.
-I've been wondering if maybe Jack shot Twombley, instead of Twombley shooting himself. I've been wondering maybe Jack shot him on purpose.
-Money.
-Jack doesn't need money.
-Everybody needs money. Except guys like Twombley and that sonofabitch son-in-law of his. People like that.
-Jack wouldn't kill for it. Besides, who would pay him?
-Lots of people. Guy like Evan Twombley, Boston union official, probably got lots of people want to see him dead. The Government's been investigating his links with the Mafia.
-The Mafia hire Jack Hewitt?
-No, I just know Jack's lying about what happened. He just seemed -- I know that kid, what he's like inside. He's a lot like I was at his age.
-You wouldn't have done anything like that, shot someone for money.
-No. Not for money. But, if somebody'd given me half a damned excuse -- I was pretty fucked up, you know.
-I can see what you looked like as a kid.
-You knew me as a kid.
-Yeah, but never what you looked like. Not really. Never really studied your face, like now. I was never able to see you as a kid when you were a kid until now, this way.
-What way?
-After making love. I like it. It's nice to see that in a grown-up person.
-Don't you think, do you still think it's a good idea to press this custody thing -- just now?
-I'm her father -- supposed to be, but I'm not able to. Yes. Yes, I am. It may be the only thing in my life I've been so clear about wanting. Even if it takes a big fight.
-Then... I guess you have to.
-There's another thing I've been thinking about. I don't know how you feel about the idea, Margie, because we've never talked about it. But I've been thinking lately, I've been thinking we should get married sometime. You and me.
-Oh, Wade.
-I've been thinking about it, that's all.
-You've been married twice --
-It was to the same woman. I was just a kid... It's not like a marriage proposal or anything, just a thought. Something for you and me to talk about and think about. You know?
-Alright. I'll think about it.
-Did you tell them? That we were coming?
-Don't you think it's proper for a fella to introduce his girl to his parents?
-I know your parents.
-Are you sure they're home? Did you call?
-Strange.
-Think they're alright?
-Of course! I would've heard.
-How?
-This is nuts.
-What happened?
-What on earth is happening to you? Why are you acting this way?
-It's my tooth! My fucking tooth! I can't even think anymore because of it.
-I heard you talking. You got fired this morning, didn't you?
-Going somewhere, Margie?
-I'm just cleaning out some of this stuff that's built up. For the rummage sale. And some things for the cleaners. And the laundromat.
-Don't lie to me. You're leaving me, I can see that.
-Have you been heating the house? Not just with the stove.
-There's a furnace.
-You're not using it today?
-It's broke I guess. There's an electric in the bedroom.
-Coffee's perked.
-When did she die?
-It makes me sad.
-Can --?
-Whitehouse. Next time, phone ahead.
-I said, 'Next time, phone ahead.'
-Jesus Christ. Mr. Gordon, when I come all the way to serve somebody a summons, I don't call ahead for an appointment.
-What the hell are you talking about?
-I'm issuing you a ticket. Moving violation.
-Moving violation! I just got out of bed and you're telling me you're giving me a goddamn speeding ticket? Now? Are you nuts? Is that it, Whitehouse? You're nuts?
-Yesterday morning, you passed a stopped school bus, which was flashing its lights, then you--
-Hold on!
-Don't ever put your hands on me, Mr. Gordon.
-You're talking about a goddamned ticket, from when I passed you at the school where you were deciding to hold up traffic while dreaming of becoming a traffic cop or something?
-Don't give me a hard time, Mr. Gordon. I'm just --
-Doing your fucking job. I know. I watch television too.
-Yes. Here's your ticket.
-Who are you?
-I was... I'm Wade Whitehouse. I was wondering, is your husband here?
-He's asleep. We were up very late.
-Well, yes, I'm... I want to say that I'm real sorry about your father, Mrs. Twombley.
-Mrs. Gordon. Thank you.
-Well, yeah, I suppose. Sure. I just had a little business to settle with Mr. Gordon. I'm the local police officer.
-Something about my father?
-Oh, no. No, it's a... it's a traffic thing. No big deal.
-Take care, Wade.
-It don't look right.
-What?
-The sign. It looks like it's spelled wrong or something.
-Fuck. Wade Whitehouse. It's people like you that keep this fucking town from prospering. Whatever somebody does to improve things around here, you gotta find fault with it.
-I'm not finding fault. It's a good idea, good for you, good for the town. Real modern too.
-This town sucks.
-Marg!
-That goddamned woman. Thinks she can cart Jill off and leave me alone like this. I'm more than pissed, Margie. I'm a whole lot more than pissed. I been that plenty and I know the difference. This is different.
-You talked to Jack?
-Not since last night. He took a guy hunting.
-The fucker shot himself. Ker-bang! That's what it sounds like. Not on purpose. I assume accidental.
-Jack?
-The other guy.
-Where... how'd you hear that?
-CB. Little while ago. One of the boys on the way in picked up Jack on the CB calling for state troopers. I figured you'd know what really happened. The fucking guy kill himself? This Twombley, who the fuck is he, anyhow?
-Jillie, you want a cheese grilled sandwich?
-Wade, I got a message for you. Jack Hewitt, he's looking for you. Wants you to clear your stuff out of his office in Town Hall.
-His office. You mean my old office.
-Well, I guess -- that's what he said.
-He got his deer yet?
-Rolfe.
-Just do it.
-What was that? You got something to say, say it! Say it!
-Nothing.
-Jesus, Pop, how can you stand the cold, dressed like that? Where's Ma?
-Sleeping.
-You remember Margie Fogg?
-From Wickham's. Been a while. Like some coffee?
-How you and Ma doing? Haven't seen you in town for a while.
-We're alright. Your Ma's sleeping. You want me to get her?
-Where's Ma?
-Yeah.
-I checked on her. She had the electric heater. Cold don't bother her as much as me. Which is why I give her the heater.
-Is there something wrong with the phone?
-In the living room.
-Why didn't you call and have the furnace fixed?
-Listen, it's no big deal, Pop.
-Pop, for Christ's sake!
-You! By Christ, you -- I know you. Yeah, you goddamn sonofabitch, I know you. You're a goddamn fucking piece of my heart!
-You don't know me. You don't know me! So fuck you. Fuck you.
-Love! What the fuck do you know about love?
-Love! I'm made of love!
-Call it what you want.
-Everything you know is from me.
-Yeah.
-Bang!
-Where the Christ you going? You sonofabitch, you leave my fucking truck where it is! I need... Give me the Goddamn keys! I need to get me to town!
-Crawl!
-Nothing in the fucking house to drink. Not a fucking thing. My house, my money, my truck -- stolen!
-Rolfe.
-Wade?
-Yeah, brother, look, I was calling cause -- has there been anything on TV in Boston about a hunting accident with a guy named Twombley, Evan Twombley?
-There was something. It happened up your way.
-Yeah, I know him -- the kid that was with him. Maybe you do too. Jack Hewitt. He works for LaRiviere with me. He's my best friend.
-Wade, it's late. I know you're probably at Toby's, but I'm in bed reading. We got different habits.
-It'll come out Jack lied and the kid'll get hung for it.
-He was scheduled to testify for a committee investigating organized crime in New England and the construction business.
-Who?
-Twombley.
-No shit.
-You think Jack shot him?
-Well, it was an accident.
-Lillian was here. In Lawford.
-Huh?
-The night before the shooting.
-How was she?
-Picked up Jill. She was supposed to visit for the weekend for Halloween. She wanted to go home.
-Who?
-Jill. I was thinking of getting a lawyer. Maybe you can help me.
-What happened?
-Don't think about it. You're exhausted.
-Yeah, I guess.
-Get some sleep.
-I get to feeling like a whipped dog some days, Rolfe, and some night I'm going to bite back. I swear it.
-Haven't you already done a bit of that?
-Pointless to stand around in church with nothing to do, I guess.
-Anyone else want one? Rolfe?
-No thanks. I don't drink.
-What about Margie?
-What about her?
-Well, do you still plan to get married?
-I want to let the gas run out. I don't want the bastard driving drunk, and he's always drunk now. After, we'll hide the keys.
-Anything new about the shooting? Twombley?
-I guess it was an accident, like everybody thinks.
-Find them everywhere.
-I think your first response to the Twombley shooting was the correct one.
-Which is?
-That it wasn't an accident.
-Then who shot him?
-Well, your friend, I think. Jack Hewitt.
-Motive. You gotta have a motive.
-Money.
-Who'd pay him that kind of money? Not the mob. They got their own guys. Specialists.
-They wouldn't deal with a guy like Jack. Who else benefits if Twombley is suddenly dead?
-I don't know. You tell me.
-Okay. It's likely there are people in the union who don't want Twombley to testify. They probably include his son-in-law who's vice-president and will probably be the next president. I read that in the papers. What's his name, Mel Gordon?
-Yeah, the guy with the BMW I told you about. I did, didn't I?
-Here's my theory. Twombley, unaware of illegal union loans or whatever, starts nosing around cause of the investigation and finds out. Finds out his son-in-law is involved.
-So Mel Gordon wouldn't want a professional hit. That'd make the feds dig deeper. He wants an accident.
-A hunting accident is perfect.
-It's too neat. Things ain't that neat. It makes me mad. That somebody can pay to kill somebody, his own father-in-law, and not be punished for it. Don't that piss you off?
-Not particularly.
-Right's right, goddamnit! Don't you care what's right?
-I was thinking about that story you told me, about Pop and chopping the firewood out of the ice and after.
-Yeah.
-I hate to disappoint you, but I don't think it happened.
-Of course it happened. Why would I lie about it?
-It may have happened, but not the way you said.
-You think I wouldn't remember a thing like that?
-It wasn't me. I wasn't there, but I heard about it. When I heard about it, it was about Elbourne.
-We'd have to go digging in Vietnam to ask him.
-And Elbourne and Mom took you to the doctor and told him you fell from the hay loft.
-Well, I never heard that one.
-I remember clearly cause when I heard I became real careful around Pop. I was a careful child and I became a careful adult, but at least I wasn't afflicted by that man's violence.
-Then you accidentally see your body, or your face, or whatever, and you don't know who the hell it belongs to. Strange. It's the business with the old man, I know, and how incredibly pissed I was at him, and also chasing Jack Hewitt like that, and the Goddamned truck going through the ice, not to mention Margie's being so upset -- one thing
-Wade, are you alright?
-I know what it means. I'm just running out of ways to use it.
-To help, Jack, of course -- and to nail those sonsofbitches, the Two Gordons. That's what Alma calls them. Jesus, Rolfe, whose side are you on?
-It's not like he hasn't made us wait a few times.
-Well, you aren't the President, dear.
-You don't want to say hi to your father?
-I'm sure he's busy.
-Hey Joey, how `bout a cocoa, double whip cream.
-Alice...
-Mom, just this once, give it a rest.
-You're jet-lagged. We'll talk about this back...
-We'll talk at home. You know, most girls aren't as lucky as you. For most girls seeing the Bolshoi ballet would be the experience of a lifetime.
-He's in a meeting. He can't be disturbed.
-I'm sorry, honey.
-When I write my memoirs I think I'll devote an entire chapter to the cocoa aboard Air Force One.
-Your father never means to be so...
-I know... But lotsa times I feel like it's me versus the world. Some kid at school teases me and the same day a plague breaks out in Bangladesh. I mean it doesn't take a genius to figure which is more important.
-Some kids were teasing you?
-You're right and I'll tell you a secret. I know exactly how you feel.
-Mom?
-Yes dear?
-Daddy. Daddy, please...
-I don't drink coffee.
-You must be tired. It'll wake you up.
-You're one of Stravanavitch's men.
-So, you study world events, little one. That's good for a girl your age.
-Yeah, I study world events. Five thousand Turkienistan Muslims were slaughtered in Stravanvitch's cleansings... along with 15 American school kids. You know hQw I studied that. I went to their funerals with my dad. I met their parents.
-Smart for your age, eh? Top of your class? Tell me, do you know what the word &quot;propaganda&quot; means?
-The woman you shot. She was my friend.
-Fuck off, you stupid asshole.
-He didn't leave us.
-Oooooh, I'm good.
-How was... ...the ballet?
-It was the experience of a lifetime.
-Alice!
-Daddy...
-How you doing, sweetie?
-Oh NY god... oh my god... oh my god...
-There they are!
-The Americans say they are escorting a damaged plane. Our pilots confirm they are surrounding a 747.
-Did we warn them off?
-It's some kind of trick... a preliminary airstrike in response to our troop movement.
-They are in our airspace. We would be within our rights.
-The pilot says it is does not have the markings of a commercial jet.
-Do you see the maintenance panel?
-Got it.
-Pop it open. There should be a red switch, toggle it up.
-Okay, it's on. We've got some indicator lights here.
-It's cut.
-U.S. Pilots, this is Air Force One.
-Mr. President, it's an honor. Now with your permission can we lead you the fuck out of here.
-You read my mind.
-Put your pilot on.
-Who's flying the fucking plane?
-Two and three are heading toward the Boeing.
-Okay. We're gonna arc a fat one to the right. Got it?
-Got it.
-How we doing, Colonel?
-Uh, we got a problem here.
-Just stay on my wing, sir. I'll take you all the way in.
-No. We're losing fuel and my rudder's not responding.
-Aw, man. You're torn up pretty bad out here, sir. Do you have any elevater control.
-Sluggish... I think it's jammed too.
-He's dead then. They must have killed him.
-We don't know that.
-Walter, if you have a point, make it.
-They aren't answering their hails.
-They've got no chutes. They can't control the plane, their engines are failing and they're losing fuel.
-I prefered the terrorists.
-Sir, you threw out page two.
-Goddamn right I did. I asked for a tough-as-nails speech and you gave me diplomatic bullshit. What's the point in having a speech if I have to ad-lib?
-It was a good ad-lib, sir.
-Apparently taking uzis away from sixth graders isn't as popular as we thought it'd be. Representative Taylor is working on a compromise.
-The Iraqi ambassador is claiming it's just an exercise.
-General Greely says it looks like the Middle East.
-Can we do that?
-But they start executing hostages in
-I hate to be pragmatic, but they'll sacrifice pawns before kings. It may take them some time to kill their way up to senior staff.
-They still have the President, it's past their deadline and they haven't called. What do you think it means?
-If challenged, our fighters are to state that they are on a rescue mission.
-Iraqi's won't buy it. Either they're already in on this or they'll think we're spying.
-The Chief Justice? What on earth for?
-Special Agent Gibbs. You helped do this?
-Yes, Mr. President.
-Why?
-Because it is my duty.
-You're duty to what? The country you served doesn't exist anymore.
-Air Force One, this is AF-135-RA. We have been instructed to refuel your plane.
-About goddamn time.
-Please change course to Zero Seven Four and drop to eighteen thousand feet. Over.
-Air Force One, please reduce speed to 250 knots.
-That's affirmative.
-We've already been inspected.
-The rest of the secret service?
-Dead.
-How many others killed?
-Nine.
-Who did this?
-We checked the manifest. Everyone was accounted for.
-Remarkable aircraft. Remarkable.
-why did they do that?
-Psychology. They're trying to unnerve us.
-How?
-Avionics compartment! It's the only place. You better get Zedeck down there fast Unless, of course, you'd rather be a martyr than a savior.
-We've stopped dumping... but we've only got about twenty minutes of fuel left.
-We're not going to make it.
-Not even close. Hell, we can't even make Syria or Iraq.
-Where are we now?
-Over the Black Sea. I can probably get us to Turkey or Georgia.
-Tower, Air Force One has been boarded.
-Romeo Tango Zulu, do you have the President? Over.
-Stand by.
-We copy. Stand by... Tower?
-Tower, here.
-This is Romeo Tango Zulu changing call signs. Tower, alert air traffic, Romeo Tango Zulu is now Air Force One. This is Air Force One... The President is safe onboard.
-Ms. Mitchell. So nice to finally meet you in person.
-Up on the upper deck is the cockpit and the Mission Communication Center. The MCC, as we call it, can place clear and secure phone calls to anywhere on earth. We're linked to a network of military and civilian satellites and ground stations. We could run the country or run a war from there if we had to.
-This is a remarkable aircraft.
-You don't know the half of it. Did you know this entire plane is shielded from radiation? We could fly through a mushroom cloud completely unharmed if necessary.
-A dubious distinction, no?
-And all these rooms here?
-Here's a press kit. I'll let you guys get comfortable and once we're airborne I'll be able to schedule the interviews.
-* Please tell me your name.
-Maria... Maria Mitchell.
-I'm responsible for Press Relations for the Flight Office.
-How are your fellow hostages feeling, Ms. Mitchell?
-You're pointing a gun at me.
-Fear will keep you alive. Any one who is not afraid is bound to do something foolish, and bound to die.
-What do you want with us?
-Now, or he dies, please.
-Leave my daughter alone.
-Or you will do what, Mrs. Marshall? But I admire your courage. Your husband, on the other hand...
-What do you know of my husband?
-I know he left you behind.
-My husband is a very courageous man.
-Do you have to be so brutal?
-Yes
-Why? Do you enjoy it?
-I neither enjoy nor dislike. I do what is necessary.
-But they are not ny people. You look at me as if I am a monster, but answer me this -- when your planes bombed the oil fields of Iraq, did You cry for those dark skinned men whose names you do not know and who's faces You will never see? Did You cry for their wives and children. They were people too, yes...
-That was war.
-Shall I begin by executing the President's daughter? She's right here.
-No.
-Nor will there be. My husband does not negotiate with terrorists.
-The world is such a dangerous place and we can't always protect our children.
-Four...
-Jim...
-You got what you wanted. You going to release us now?
-Now since we've had very little luck getting Washington or Moscow to cooperate, I wondered if you would be so kind.
-Over my dead body.
-She isn't a part of this. This is between you and me.
-This administration does not negotiate with terrorists.
-Stop.
-You'll do it?
-Yes, I'll do it. Just leave my family alone.
-Someday, you'll regret my nature.
-The taste of defeat is bitter, no?
-There goes your ride.
-Let my daughter go or I'll take you out!
-No you won't. You'll compromise... like always.
-Our only policy assumes the plane is on the ground. Our hands are completely tied while they're in the air.
-Okay, Gentlemen, we'll take no action until we confirm that the president is off the plane... Lee, go huddle with the D.O.D. I want an options paper on this in 20 minutes.
-Twenty minutes?
-Madame Vice president. We have an options paper. chandler takes the options paper, waves off Lee, and reads it as she talks.
-Finally, we can bargain.
-Our KH-ll's took this one at 0100 hours. What you see here is the mobilization of two mechanized brigades.
-The northern border's gotten a bit hairy. Their MiGs are playing tag with our Tomcats and our boys are just itching to engage.
-Mr. Caidwell, the ground's a few miles away. How do you propose getting us from here to there?
-We've already played our cards, Major. There's no turning back.
-We can't jump from here or at this speed. But if we could get a message out - tell the refueling plane...
-Get `em ready. You... come with me.
-Eighteen thousand feet, sir. And two hundred knots... otherwise it's suicide.
-I'll not going without my family.
-Sir, we stay with the President.
-May I speak to you for a moment?
-Can't it wait?
-Don't. I know spin control when I feel it.
-For godsakes, Jim, slow down and stop acting like the little dutch boy. Not even you can plug all the world's leaks. Don't you think it's a sign you're pushing too hard when your daughter sees more of you on MTV news than in person.
-She's a big girl. She understands.
-How do you know she understands? You haven't spent more than five minutes with her, or me, in weeks.
-You know what?
-What?
-I miss you. And I miss her.
-But that's the point, Jim. We're right here.
-I'll make it up to you, I promise.
-I should trust that promise? Because you know the voters are still waiting for that middle class tax cut.
-How did your speech go?
-Look on the bright side, hon. Shep here thinks I'll be a one termer.
-I don't know why you stayed.
-Call Petrov... I'll be back.
-What are you doing?
-Flying the plane.
-The fax machines.
-Excuse me?
-The fax machines.
-No good. I said they disabled the communications system.
-Where are we sending it?
-Someone should give you a raise.
-Did they say anything about my family?
-They're still alive, but the loyalists plan to start killing hostages in forty minutes.
-and if that means negotiating...
-You know my policy. We don't negotiate with terrorists. If we start now, all of America becomes a target.
-Please, Mr. President. You're going to get yourself killed. Is that your solution?
-What's going on?
-We're under attack.
-Where's my family?
-One.
-But...
-White House switchboard. How may I direct your call.
-Okay listen, listen carefully. This is an emergency call from Air Force One. Who's there? Is the Vice- President there?
-who can I say is calling?
-This is the President.
-Yeah, right.
-Don't cut me off. This is an emergency.
-Sir, the President does not call this particular number. So whoever you are get a life, before I have this call traced.
-Okay... if you're the President, when's your wife's birthday?
-Look lady, I don't have time for games. Just put the....
-Thank you for calling the white House...
-* CBS said they'll give us four minutes. They thought the Russian was a nice touch.
-You wanna knock of f?
-No, no. I'm fine. What did the Speaker say?
-With all due respect, sir, maybe you should give them this one. Your numbers are still pretty low and you called in a lot of chips to nail Stravanavitch.
-I might still have a few chips left.
-* We could always put you in a duck blind with a twelve gauge. The second amendment types'll love that.
-This is a crime bill, Shep. Killing a couple ducks won't get it through committee. Besides, Shep, I told you... I don't shoot babies and I don't kiss guns.
-Other way around, sir.
-It's bait. Don't take it.
-Sir, the Speaker of the House attacked this administration on national television. You can't afford to leave that hanging.
-I said it's not worth the fight. Steward, please.
-You give me ulcers.
-Defense and State Department in the conference room in one hour. I want to review the Iraq situation.
-Mr. President... they're ready for you in the conference room.
-Mr. President, how the hell did you get on board?
-Shepherd.
-My god. I think that was a MiG.
-Iraq, sir. We're over Iraq.
-Shit.
-How long's it been since you flew, sir?
-Twenty five minutes. They should be here any moment.
-IT'S OPEN!
-WE'RE HOOKED!
-Commissioner, we both know the Mercury shuttle needs another month of pre-launch testing.
-And what do the boys on the board know about safety, Commissioner? Let <u>me</u> talk to them.
-You handle your front office people, I'll handle the press and leave the boys in Washington to the boys downtown and the boys downtown to the boys on the board.
-What?
-That's right, Commissioner. Senselessly murdered just minutes ago.
-That just doesn't make any sense.
-I wonder how your boys in Washington are going to take this one.
-I told you, leave the boys in Washington to the boys downtown and the boys down...
-Forget it. I was reading.
-I was reading too.
-What's the story?
-Some southern plantation owner falls in love with this poor...
-Kruger, Sagittarius.
-Did you feel that?
-Yes I did...
-Felt like a large asteroid.
-Yes it did. Mr. Dunn, can I ask you a personal question?
-What is it, Mary?
-Oveur.
-Shut down accelerators.
-We seem to have a malfunction in disposal unit four, sir.
-Sir, I've got an overload in disposal unit four.
-Dunn.
-Sir?
-Elaine.
-Te...!
-It's got to be stopped!
-But, Ted, the invitations have already gone out.
-Ted, what's wrong?
-Ted, you're overworked. You've been flying yourself into the ground.
-There's nothing wrong with me!
-Let's relax tonight, just the two of us. I'll make a quiet Italian dinner just the way you like it, with spaghetti.
-Elaine.
-Elaine, what happened to us?
-Eat this spaghetti, Ted. It'll make you feel a lot better.
-Who's that, Ted?
-Elaine, when are you going to realize Simon Kurtz put me in here to get me out of the way.
-His name's David Stockman. He's been here twenty years, that's all he says.
-No goodbyes, Elaine. Just go.
-If that's the way you want it.
-That's the way I want it. Just turn the radio on and go.
-Ted! What are you...?
-Ted, we're taking off!
-What are you doing, Ted?
-Ted.
-Not now, Elaine!
-Elaine.
-Ted. I don't know why you got on this flight. I don't know what you're trying to prove.
-Elaine, we have to go back.
-We can't go back. We had something very special, but it's all over.
-Ted, get a grip on yourself. You should never have left the hospital.
-Then you <u>do</u> think I'm insane.
-I've never used the word insane, Ted.
-What word would you use, Elaine?
-The word is sick. Ted -- very, very, very sick.
-What would you say if I told you the toilet just blew up in my face.
-I'd use the word insane.
-There's something dangerously wrong with this ship, Elaine. I know its the wiring. That toilet's just the tip of the iceberg.
-Elaine!
-Ted!
-Elaine, what's going on?
-Elaine, I'm going back there. Just hold onto that stick and try to control this hunk of tin as best you can.
-Ted, we've only got ten minutes.
-Not now, Elaine.
-Kurtz was the one who got us into this mess in the first place. You people knew this ship wasn't ready to fly. You played God with over a hundred lives, Kruger, and for what -- the prestige of your precious space program.
-Well, Elaine, this might be it if those guys on the ground don't think of something.
-I just want you to know, I love you Ted and always will.
-Simon just ejected!
-Sit down, Elaine. If this bomb trick works we just might make it. Simon was a fool to eject now.
-You mean...
-That's right -- premature ejection.
-What will happen to him, Ted?
-Are you afraid?
-Not when I'm with you, Ted.
-We've blown the computer! Elaine! Set course change!
-Set!
-Now!
-Ted, the lever!
-Ted seemed to get worse after I told him about Simon, Doctor.
-So you see, our task isn't made any easier by Ted's refusal to admit that he's sick.
-You can eat balanced meals, exercise, and take Geritol.
-I mean for Ted.
-You can be gentle with him, Elaine. He's been working out a lot of his aggressions here in the garden.
-The brain is an amazingly complex organ, Elaine.
-Is he making any progress, Doctor?
-For the best little computer officer on the Mercury mission.
-Simon.
-Who would believe that Elaine Thompson was once a stewardess on the Denver-Chicago run.
-Women <u>and</u> the space program have come a long way, sweetheart. But after the wedding, no more complicated computers for my little girl.
-But, darling, they've offered me a chance to head up the computer analysis division for the Jupiter probe.
-Frank's the best pilot in the program.
-I'm so excited, Simon.
-I guess this is a first for you.
-Elaine! Ted's a danger to himself, he's a threat to this mission and his behavior does absolutely nothing to promote peace in the Middle East.
-Simon, why has he become so... so...
-Meet me onboard, sweetheart. I have to pick up a few things at the drugstore.
-Have you got it straightened out now?
-I think so.
-Simon, I'm going to check ROK's secondary readout unit.
-Simon, what's happening?!
-He tried to disconnect ROK. It gassed him. That computer is running this ship and we're heading right for the sun.
-Can't we change course?
-My career is shot.
-Simon, I didn't want it to end like this. We can be friends! You'll die out there.
-Maybe.
-Elaine, ask ROK for a field interference scan. Those sun spots might give us a problem with our communications.
-I don't think we have any alternative, Captain.
-I see. What do you think our alternatives are?
-Roger.
-You can do it from up here, Captain.
-I'd rather sit down for this one, Elaine.
-No, I mean you can do it from the cockpit.
-Intermitant failure in scan mode "R". Analyze.
-Negative.
-That doesn't make sense. Repeat analysis.
-Negative.
-That's not possible.
-Elaine, I'm sorry about that little outburst a moment ago.
-That's okay, ROK.
-Can I say something of a personal nature to you?
-Go ahead.
-Request; comprehensive electrical systems check.
-Systems check positive. Look, Elaine, I...
-Request; life support systems check.
-Life support check. Elaine, it's obvious you've been ignoring me. You're a woman. I can relate to that.
-Request; self-analysis of ROK hardware and software systems regarding behavioral changes.
-Will Scraps be able to sit with us, Dad?
-I sure an glad they let Scraps ride up here with us.
-I bet Scraps is going to love Mercury.
-Do you think things will be a lot different on Mercury, Dad?
-How many kids get a chance to live on another planet.
-No more kids yelling, 'Your old man's a thieving rapist'?
-Come on up, Jimmy. Say, that's some puppy. What's his name?
-Scraps.
-Can I hold him?
-Sure.
-He's a boy dog.
-Yeah.
-Take this, Joey. It's my last few bucks. You'll need a hot meal when you get there.
-We've spent everything on these operations. Is it really worth it? We've pawned your mother's wedding ring. The kids have no winter clothes...
-Joey, what's more important, the kids' clothes or your sexual potency.
-I don't want to hear that word!
-Okay, Joey. The Doc says you gotta relax. This hospital in Des Moines is the best sex clinic in the country.
-All right. Here.
-Joe, you don't want to blow that thing and kill all these innocent people.
-I don't want to live anymore.
-Joe, the insurance policy won't help your wife and kids. You bought auto insurance, not life insurance.
-What?
-That's right, Joe. Now, no one's going to hurt you and no one has to know what's wrong with you.
-You're sure?
-A couple eggs and juice would be nice, Mary. Over.
-How would you like your eggs, Captain? Over.
-No. Poached. Over.
-Poached <u>and</u> over, Captain Oveur? Over.
-That's how I want them. Poached. Over.
-All right, Captain Oveur. Over.
-Captain, the coffee machine is jammed and I don't like it.
-Which passenger is Joe Salucci?
-Sixteen 'C', why?
-He's carrying a bomb.
-No, a bomb. Now, as discreetly as possible, I want you to move the passengers into the lounge.
-What should I say?
-Captain Oveur?
-Mr. Kurtz, I presume.
-That's how dry cleaning works. Now I'd like to quickly go over the digestive system of amphibians.
-Good to be aboard, gentlemen.
-Whenever your're ready, Captain.
-You folks need any help?
-Thanks, but we have a terrific woman in on Thursdays.
-Say, isn't that Dr. Barrington, the world- renowned agronomist?
-Yes.
-It's a privilege to meet you, sir, I'm familiar with all your work.
-Let's go, Daddy. We have to check in. He was never appreciated at the Institute.
-Ah, yes, the Institute, I'm familiar with it.
-I have to see Bud Kruger.
-Do you have an appointment, sir?
-No, dammit. It's a matter of life or death.
-You'll have to be more specific than that, sir.
-All right, it's a matter of death.
-You can't go in there!
-Don't try to stop me!
-Are you on the Mercury mission?
-You're seeing bugs where they don't exist, Striker.
-Look at this wiring. It's shorting out under high temperatures.
-You're tired, Striker, overworked. That wiring meets all the safety specifications.
-Striker.
-Kurtz, you're drunk. Who's in command of this ship?
-That damn computer has taken over. I'm getting out.
-Then Elaine was right.
-Don't talk to me about Elaine. Outta my way!
-Excuse me, are you alright? I noticed you talking to yourself. I'm a nurse. Can I be of some help?
-Uh... oh, thank you. It's nothing.
-You don't have to thank me, I'm a nurse. This is my father, Dr. Barrington.
-Not Dr. Barrington, the world renowned agronomist?
-Yes. He's dying <u>a-n-d</u> wants to be buried on Mercury.
-I'm familiar with your work, Doctor. You'll have to excuse me, I have to go.
-You've been hurt.
-I'm getting over it. If a relationship isn't working, you can't force it.
-Do you want to talk about it.
-I opened this panel and a vacuum cleaner hit me.
-No. I mean your relationship.
-We were in love but I'm not sure I know what love is anymore.
-Love's the same as it always was. It's people who change.
-People change in relation to each other. Love changes on its own.
-Not if the people change together in relation to that love.
-Sure. But that's only when the love itself goes unchanged.
-Then the relationship remains the same and the love changes only when there's change in the two people who share that love.
-No. It's hard to L-A-U-G-H when your father's dying.
-I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some corfee.
-Ah, won't you sit down?
-Thank you. Cream?
-No, thank you. I take it black. Like my men.
-Were you vacationing in Los Angeles?
-Well, it really wasn't a vacation. You see, I'm a teacher in the New York City school system, and I was attending a seminar on visual aids to education. Are you from L.A.?
-After my wife died, I felt like a fifth wheel. You know, so many years being with one person -- a very wonderful person -- makes you always think of yourself as part of a pair...When Ethel passed away, I was lost. I couldn't function socially and I couldn't function in business.
-Well, after a thing like that you wouldn't be expected to.
-But I think it's time we stopped talking about me. A woman like you -- why haven't you ever married?
-Well, I'm afraid that's a question that's all too easy to answer.
-I know the answer -- Career. A smart woman like you became so involved in your work, you didn't have time for marriage.
-I wish I could fool myself into believing that that's the reason. The truth of the matter is, nobody ever asked me.
-You know, here we are having coffee together, and discussing education and business and economy...and we don't even know each other's names...full names I mean.
-Mine's Eleanor. Eleanor Schiff.
-I'm sure we'll both make it...but just in case one of us...well, is there a message you'd like me to give someone?
-No. I'm all alone.
-Just in case I don't have a chance to say goodbye, I want you to know that I haven't spent so many pleasant hours for many years.
-Hello, I'm Paul Carey from the airline. I'm here to pick up Captain Kramer.
-Shep, sit...sit! So, I understand you've got a real emergency down there.
-Well, to tell the truth, they really didn't fill me in on many of the details. Just told me to pick up Captain Kramer.
-Yeah, something like that, but as I say, they didn't have time to tell me very much.
-...but after...awhile...you begin to... ...get used to it.
-Both pilots!
-Can you fly this airplane and land it?
-Surely you can't be serious.
-I <u>am</u> serious, and don't call me Shirley! What flying experience have you had?
-Elaine, I haven't time to put this gently, so I'll be very direct. Everyone of us on this plane is in a desperate situation. Mister Striker is the only hope we've got.
-...safe and sound and free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment.
-Will the hospital equipment be at the airport?
-Yes, everything they've got. How are the passengers doing?
-I won't deceive you, Mister Striker. We're running out of time.
-Surely there must be something you can do.
-George Zipp said that?
-And the last thing he said to me, "Doc," he said, "Sometime when the crew is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they've got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Doc," he said, "but I won't smell too good. That's for sure."
-Captain, how soon can we land?
-Can't you take a guess?
-Well...not for another two hours.
-You can't take a guess for another two hours?
-What is it, Doctor? What's happening?
-Sir. Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry to have to wake you. Are you a doctor?
-That's right.
-We have some passengers who are very sick. Could you come and take a look at them?
-You'd better tell the Captain. We've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
-A hospital? What is it?
-It's a big building with patients. But that's not important right now. Tell the Captain I must speak to him.
-What was it we had for dinner tonight?
-Well, we had a choice. Steak or fish.
-What did he have?
-Doctor Rumack, Mister Hammen ate fish. And Randy says there are five more cases, and they ate fish, too.
-Let's see now. The co-pilot had fish. What did the navigator eat?
-Just how serious is it, doctor?
-Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?
-No.
-All right. Unless I can get all these people to a hospital quickly, I can't even be sure of saving their lives. Now, is there anyone else on board who can land this plane?
-No. No one that I know of.
-Elaine!
-Ted!
-I came home early and found your note. I guess you meant for me to read it later. Elaine, I've got to talk to you.
-I just don't want to go over it any more.
-I know things haven't been right for a long time, but it'll be different. If you'll just be patient, I can work things out.
-I have been patient and I've tried to help, but you wouldn't even let me do that.
-Don't you feel anything for me at all any more?
-Look, you'll be back in town tomorrow night. We'll have dinner -- talk it over.
-I won't be back. I've requested the Atlanta run.
-Elaine, not yet. I promise you I really can change.
-You know I haven't been able to get near an airplane since the war. And even if I could, they wouldn't hire me because of my war record.
-Your <u>war</u> <u>record</u>? You're the only one keeping that alive. For everyone else it's ancient history.
-It's the truth. What's hurt you the most is your record since the war. Different cities, different jobs, and not one of them shows you can accept any real responsibility.
-But if you'll just give me...
-Ted, what are you doing here?
-Elaine, I've got to talk to you.
-What's the matter?
-My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. I'll be leading a very important mission.
-Oh, Ted, please be careful. I worry about you so much.
-I love you, Elaine.
-Elaine, just hear me out. I know things haven't been right for a long time. But it will be different...like it was in the beginning. Remember?
-Mostly I remember...the nights when we were together. I remember how you used to hold me...and how I used to sit on your face and wriggle...and then afterwards how we'd watch until the sun came up. When it did, it was almost like...like each new day was created...only for us.
-That's the way I've always wanted it to be, Elaine.
-You got a telegram from head­quarters today.
-Headquarters!? What is it?
-Is it? Because of my mistake six men didn't return from that raid.
-I wish I could say the same for George Zipp.
-What's his problem?
-I think they're getting the hang of it! When we re-enlist I'll teach them baseball!
-Ted, I don't want to stay here. It's time for us to go back home -- to the plans we made before the war.
-Ted! What are you doing? You can't fly this plane!
-Rain.
-And a little ice.
-Sluggish. Like a wet sponge.
-It's a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts.
-Rats! I've lost number three.
-What happened, Ted? What went wrong?
-But Ted, you're the only...
-Ted...
-Yes?
-I wanted you to know -- now -- I'm very proud.
-Tell them the gear is down and we're ready to land.
-See them, Elaine?
-We have a visitor.
-We'd better get back now.
-Hey, we've been waiting for you. A little bit late tonight.
-Airsick?
-I think so, but I've never seen it so acute.
-Oh, Bill, I'm going to miss you so much.
-You promise you'll write.
-Good-bye, darling.
-Oh, Bill, I'll keep it. I'll keep it with me all the time.
-So long, darling. Good-bye. Take care of yourself.
-Bill! Bill! Good-bye, Bill.
-Good-bye, darling.
-Good-bye, darling. I love you. I love you, darling.
-And get that finger out of your ear. You don't know where that finger's been! Gunderson?
-Yes, Captain?
-Did you decide on a runway yet?
-Eight miles. Turn right to heading zero eight niner.
-He's all over the place! Nine hundred feet up to thirteen hundred feet! What an asshole!
-He's right on the heading.
-Jack, isn't that Fred Bliffert over there in the blue turtleneck? Maybe he's on our flight to Chicago.
-What did you think of 'Great Expectations?'
-Oh, I can't stand it.
-How ya doing, honey?
-Oh Jack, I'm so warm. I'm burning up.
-Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers!
-You <u>are</u> Kareem. I've seen you play. My Dad's got season tickets!
-I'm an airline pilot. Ah, Clarence, according to my calculations, with this tailwind we ought to be able to make up an additional fifteen minutes over the Rockies.
-I think you're the greatest. But my Dad says you don't work hard enough on defense.
-Denver Control, this is Flight two-zero- niner intersecting Victor Airway seven- niner-niner.
-...and that lots of times you don't even run down court.
-We are turning left to a heading of zero- niner-niner.
-...and that you don't really try, except during the playoffs.
-Hi!
-I'm Randy.
-I'm Lisa. Oh, you have a guitar!
-I thought maybe you'd like to hear a song.
-Oh, I'd love to.
-Would either of you like another cup of coffee?
-Yes?
-Oh, Stewardess. My husband is very sick. Can you do something, please?
-Well, the doctor will be with you in just a moment. One thing: do you know what he had for dinner?
-Yes, of course. We both had fish. Why?
-Sorry, Clarence. Latest weather report shows everything socked in from Salt Lake to Lincoln.
-Roger.
-Roger.
-We have clearance, Clarence.
-Do you want me to check the weather, Clarence?
-No, he's not bothering anyone. Let him stay up here.
-Excuse me, Sister?
-Yes?
-There's a little girl on board who's ill and...
-Oh yes, I saw. Poor child.
-Could I borrow your guitar? I thought I might be able to cheer her up.
-Fourteen-B. It's halfway down on your right.
-Do you feel all right, sir?
-Excuse me, sir. Would you like some coffee before we serve dinner?
-Excuse me, sir. There's been a little problem in the cockpit and I was wondering...
-The cockpit? What is it?
-Well, I flew in the war, but that was a long time ago. I wouldn't know anything about it.
-Mr. Striker, the passengers are ready.
-Oooh. Hardball. That sounds interesting. Are you going to strike me? You could tie me up and then do whatever you want with me... I've got my own ropes.
-Does that cost extra or you throw them in?
-Look, I don't know where Mr. Strader might be. He comes and he goes.
-The girl out front mentioned Strader's assistant, somebody named Watson. Maybe he knows.
-I know... Why don't you hang around for a while, let me entertain you? It's Matt, right? Now tell me the truth, have you ever... made it... with one of us?
-Not unless I got real drunk and nobody told me about it later.
-There's lots of things I haven't done, but his ain't high on the list. Don't take it personally.
-I think you're just a little scared now, about what you might find once the lights go out. A little scared... and a lot curious. Maybe more than you want to admit. But doesn't that turn you on, that curiosity and fear, swirling together? Think of it as broadening your horizons.
-I like my horizons narrow.
-You okay?
-You are Cassandra?
-That's right.
-We are with the Police Department. This is Sergeant Sykes, and I am--
-He's not here. Why ask me?
-The young woman at the front said you might know where he is.
-In there.
-So what've you got on Tuggle's killers?
-Jesus, Sykes -- it's been less than ten hours. Me and Alterez are on it, okay?
-You don't have squat.
-Look at your dildo partner. He's too scared to even come down to the sand. You're not gonna get wet standing here, moron!
-Well, if it isn't Detective Jetson. Forget you hip waders, big guy?
-Lay off, asshole.
-William Harcourt?
-Yes...
-I'm Sergeant Sykes, and this is Detective Jetson, Los Angeles Police Department.
-Yes, I heard about poor Warren. Tragic.
-You were partners with him on some Slag -- uh, Newcomer real estate thing.
-Move a finger, Harcourt, and you're history...
-That cop, the human, he was the one who killed Anderson and the driver.
-This is becoming a serious breach of security.
-He didn't recognize me.
-When we picked him up, he was talking to those two cops -- the two who came to question you about Hubley.
-Kill them both.
-Here?
-... and we work my hours. I'll do the driving, you do the paperwork. You gotta learn it so you might as well do it all.
-Sergeant... I'd like to thank you for what you're doing.
-What's that? Look, Jetson. Get this straight in your head. We're not pals, we're not married, and we ain't gonna take long moonlight walks together... We're just partners. And don't call me Sergeant. Call me Sykes... or Matt if you have to.
-Man, somebody really hung one on you! I've heard some good ones for you guys... Humphrey Bogart, Harley Davidson. I guess the people at immigration got a little punchy after a while, coming up with names for a quarter of a million of you. You weren't at the back of the line, were you, George?
-My true name is Ss'tangya T'ssorentsa'.
-Anyway, what's it matter to you if we think it's funny, right? Whatta you care?
-Let's talk Hubley.
-His body was discovered three days ago, in an alley off of Central Avenue, near downtown.
-With two BRI Sabot slugs in the chest.
-Through the chest. Rupturing both the primary and secondary hearts.
-Terrific. A real pillar of the community. Was Hubley missing anything when they found him? Was he ripped off?
-There was no wallet... but he was still wearing a watch and two rings.
-The guys at the mini-mart last night made a half-assed stab at the money in the till -- but I don't think that's what they were there for. I think we got us a couple'a executions on our hands, George...
-Look, you want to fit in here, right? You want to learn how to get along?
-Yes.
-What is wrong?
-Well... yes, quite possibly.
-Possibly. Good. Well, would you be willing to accept the theory, George, that... possibly... by examining the evidence from one case we might shed some small ray of light on the other? Does that sound unreasonable to you?
-Yes... no, it is not unreasonable. Although I--
-What's this? What's going on?
-Nothing.
-Nothing?
-What is this?
-Get the picture?
-And that fits?
-Well... Yeah, it's rubber. It stretches.
-Newcomers working near methane gasses at oil refineries must paint it on their boots to protect against sparks.
-How the hell do you know that?
-A large number of my people were hired by refineries because the methane fumes are not harmful to us. My spouse's brother is one.
-So the Slag they're cutting into upstairs worked at a refinery just like Hubley worked at a refinery. I'd say that "possible" connection between the two cases just got a hell of a lot more possible. Okay, next step -- I gotta go talk to the wife of the Slag store owner blown away last night.
-I believe I should interview the widow alone.
-Mrs. Porter is not taking her husband's death well.
-Did you learn anything?
-A week ago two men came to see her husband. After they left, he was very frightened. She identified one of the men from a photo I showed her. It was Hubley.
-Aw-right. What about the other guy?
-She didn't know him. But she said her son might.
-Did you talk to him?
-Rudyard Kipling? No shit? Listen, we just need a minute of your time...
-Why did you do it?
-Why'd I do what?
-Agree to work with me? You don't like me... you don't like any of us. You have nothing but contempt for us. And yet you become an outcast from your club of detectives by making me your partner...
-Who said that?
-Your name wouldn't happen to be Porter, would it?
-Uh, Matthew...
-Back off, George.
-But I-- .
-Screw you.
-Tell me.
-Your mother mates out of season.
-Matthew, you don't have to-- .
-You know that guy?
-From quarantine, when my people first arrived here. He and I were housed together.
-How could a straight-arrow like you ever pick a roommate like him?
-If I may make a suggestion... We have different weak spots than you do. Next time, a blow to the nerve plexus under the arm, here, will produce the effect I think you were looking for.
-I don't think I could ever learn to read that shit. How long did it take you to learn English?
-Which one is that? Raw what?
-This is mole. It's good.
-I'll bet. Would it really put you out if they tossed that on the grill for a minute or two?
-So what was that other word for Human... Slow ka?
-Ss'loka'. It means literally "small but intelligent creature". It loses much in the translation.
-And what was that one about my mother? That was a good one.
-Ss'trokya ss'lato 'na'.
-Who is he?
-We were chasing you because you ran, you dumb son-of-a-bitch.
-I believe he is probably lying.
-So, she keeps you on a pretty short leash, does she?
-Yeah... I know the routine.
-You are married?
-Was. Divorced.
-We mate for life. Divorce... is a strange concept to us.
-Your home is quite disordered. I thought perhaps you had been burglarized when I walked in.
-Human children can be very beautiful. Getting married? Congratulations. You will be taking Sunday off, then...
-... and so, and so the doctor says, "If this is the thermometer, then where'd I leave the pen?" You're not... you don't think that's funny? George, work with me, I always get a laugh with that one. Look, if the doctor's got the thermometer in his hand, then where's his pen gotta be?
-In the other man's rectum.
-Your health...
-There is so much our two peoples don't understand about each other.
-No shit, Holmes. You're only from another goddamn planet, for chrissakes.
-I hope you can understand how special your world is... how unique a people you humans are. So it us all the more painful and confusing to us that so few of you seem capable of living up the the ideals you set for yourselves.
-I'm going home.
-Where'd you get this?!!
-She's going to divorce me.
-George, she's not gonna divorce you. You mate for life, remember?
-Well, let's roll, George.
-To the... to the beach?
-Stop the car.
-Why?
-Please, I must get out here.
-Come on, you won't have to get near the water.
-It's all right, George. It's cool. Just wait here, all right? I'll be back in a coupla minutes.
-What was that about?
-... So we've got three guys dead. All Newcomers, all killed the same way -- execution style.
-Warren Hubley was in middle management at a refinery... Joshua Strader operated a successful bar and nightclub...
-What's this nothing shit? It wasn't nothing yesterday when you asked Bentner to run that test and he looked like he was about to shit peach pits, and it's not nothing now. Don't lie to me, George, you're bad at it.
-No secrets, goddammit! You don't hold back from me. Whatever is going on, you're gonna tell me now!
-No. I cannot involve you. This is not your concern.
-The hell it isn't, when somebody wires up enough C-4 explosive to my car to turn me into pink mist! That Slag was on something, and not sour milk, either? Am I right? TELL ME! What is it?
-... It is called ss'jabroka'. To us it is a potent narcotic.
-How potent?
-Like your cocaine, I suppose. The "high" lasts several hours. We would receive small amounts of it... as a reward for our labor.
-We? You've taken it?
-We all did.
-Where did he get it? Was there any of it on the ship?
-No... I am sure not. That is why I am so concerned... someone must now be producing it here. But none of my people know how to make it. The process was carefully guarded.
-Jesus, this is major. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why'd you hold out on me?
-George... look me in the eye... George, you don't ever lie to me again.
-They had months in quarantine to develop the plan. Porter, with his chemistry background, must have somehow come up with the formula for the drug. Hubley manufactured it -- at the refinery. Strader, through the nightclub, established a distribution network. And Harcourt--
-Okay, George -- we gotta play this real smart.
-If the drug is here, we must destroy it.
-Uh, George...
-George, uh... you're gonna break his little chest bones...
-George, c'mon -- lighten up. It's a beauty of a case. Don't sweat it -- we got him by the short hairs. He ain't gonna make any more of the shit.
-The fifty kilos, Matthew. I have to find it. I can't let it get out on the street.
-
-Shit!
-With Harcourt and Kipling dead, I assume you will be requesting reassignment now.
-What's this about, George? I know that look.
-No! We must do this alone.
-What is this?!
-... It's Harcourt.
-Harcourt is dead.
-No he's not. Not if he overdosed on the drug. Massive amounts trigger a... a change. Your body functions seize up, you appear to be dead, but it's really a state of incubation. When you emerge you're...
-I never thought I'd say this, but -- for once in my life I think I'm willing to wait for back-up.
-We can't let him get away.
-Why the hell are you so dead set against back-up?
-Because... because of what will happen if humans see what we are capable of becoming.
-But there's no more drug.
-How do I look?
-You said you wanted the biggest thing I could find... Well, this is it.
-What is it?
-Casull .454 Magnum. You're talking twice the impact energy of .44 Magnum hot loads.
-Only holds five.
-Yeah, the shells are too big for six in an cylinder. Hell, Matt, you don't need but one.
-Mr. Hubley was an all right guy -- and a damn good manager. The men liked him. I'm really gonna have to scramble to fill his shoes.
-You think this is the guy who did it?
-We think he could'a been involved, yeah. You know him?
-To be honest, it's hard to say. I hate to admit it but -- they all still kinda look alike to me.
-Who else can I ask around here?
-Wait. You know who it looks like? Yeah. Anderson. Uh... James Anderson. He isn't in today. He took the afternoon off.
-That where Anderson worked?
-Don't piss him off, O'Neal. When he gets like this, I can't control him. I've seen this before. He got like this once -- I saw him jerk a guy's spine out and show it to him. Nothing I could do. I hadda go throw up.
-Here's Hubley. Left Quarantine on November thirtieth, relocated first to Riverside, then moved to Los Angeles early in February the following year. Field of expertise: chemical manufacturing. Looks like he passed up several other better paying jobs waiting for that one at the refinery.
-Try Joshua Strader, will ya, darlin'?
-Released December one. He and his wife moved first to Modesto, then Coalinga, California -- wherever that is -- settled in L.A. in April. Field of expertise: organic chemical engineering. He and his wife have one child, a son.
-Yeah -- we met him. Wonderful boy... close personal friend of George's here.
-Can you dig up their Quarantine records in this thing?
-Jesus, are the questions too tough for you already? Let's try again-- Is your name Porter?
-Ss'kya'ta'.
-One of the two men was Hubley, right? What about the other one? Did you know him?
-Yeah... I seen him around. High- roller dude named Strader. Joshua Strader. Runs a club on the west side. Encounters.
-Yeah, I heard of it.
-You know I've been over all this with Fedorchuk and Alterez this morning...
-Yeah, right. Don't push your luck. Anyway, according to the sheet, the guy you nailed outside by the car--
-The human?
-No I.D. on him and -- well, you know, no fingerprints -- so it could be tough. Your buddies this morning went through the mug book but couldn't make a facial match.
-You took this gut out, too, didn't you?
-Yeah.
-Lucky for you, you got him in both of his... well, what we loosely refer to as... hearts.
-Lucky nothing. I had to empty my damn gun into him.
-Oh, here's an extra headshot if you need one. We're just about to start cutting in. You're welcome to stick around if you want. It's really fascinating stuff.
-You guys finished the postmortem on Strader yet?
-What kind of test?
-Looking for some foreign compound in the blood of that alien you dropped the other day.
-Yeah, Sykes?
-You are to have nothing to do with the investigation into Bill Tuggle's death. You know that. Leave that for Fedorchuk.
-Departmental policy.
-Granger and Pitts are already on it.
-Granger and Pitts have one hell of a caseload... and I would have thought with Jetson here being the first Newcomer plainclothes, and Hubley's body being found over in the Newcomer community...
-Hope their plumbing's the same.
-How can I go?
-Put on your wash-and-wear suit and your clip-on tie, have your landlady tie your shoes for you, and show up at the church. Simple. Me and Carol are going.
-What?
-Hey, look -- we've known Kristin since... since she was conceived in that cabin up in Big Bear. Remember? You and Edie banged the wall so hard, me and Carol were picking plaster out of our hair for a week...
-Goddammit, Tug -- I want to see Kristin get married, okay? But--
-But you're bummed because your ex and her new husband are paying for the whole thing.
-Does that look at all suspicious to you?
-You got your vest?
-Of course. Right in the trunk of the car.
-Watch the driver. I'm going for a better angle on the door.
-Get outta there!
-I can't! Do you mind!
-This floor's freezing.
-Christ. I never saw such a buncha old women. You want me to fetch your slippers, Hudson?
-Whoooah! No shit? I'm impressed.
-Hey, 'Top.' What's the op?
-Movement!
-Position?
-Can't lock up...
-Talk to me, Hudson.
-...that's better. Pan it around a bit.
-Okay, let's do it.
-Set down sixty meters this side of the telemetry mast. Immediate dust off on my 'clear,' then stay on station.
-First squad up, on line. Hicks, get yours in a cordon. Watch the rear.
-Flame-units only. I want rifles slung.
-Uh,...Apone, I want you to lay down a suppressing fire with the incinerators and fall back by squads to the APC, over.
-I've isolated a neuro-muscular toxin responsible for the paralysis. It seems to be metabolizing. He should wake up soon.
-Which would mean lots of those parasites, right? One for each person...over a hundred at least.
-Yes. That follows.
-But these things come from eggs...so where are all the eggs coming from.
-That is the question of the hour. We could assume a parallel to certain insect forms who have hivelike organization. An ant of termite colony, for example, is ruled by a single female, a queen, which is the source of new eggs.
-You're saying one of those things lays all the eggs?
-Well, the queen is always physically larger then the others. A termite queen's abdomen is so bloated with eggs that it can't move at all. It is fed and tended by drone workers, defended by the warriors. She is the center of their lives, quite literally the mother of their society.
-Could it be intelligent?
-That's it. See it? Emergency venting.
-How long until it blows?
-And it's too late to shut it down?
-I'll go.
-What?
-I'm really the only one qualified to remote-pilot the ship anyway. Believe me, I'd prefer not to. I may be synthetic but I'm not stupid.
-It's going to be closer. You better get going.
-HOW MUCH TIME?
-PLENTY! TWENTY-SIX MINUTES!
-Ripley...
-She's alive. They brought her here and you know it.
-You did okay, Bishop.
-Fifty-seven...oh, Christ...
-Have they located my daughter yet?
-Is she...?
-Amy.
-You read my deposition...it's complete and accurate.
-Look, I believe you, but there are going to be some heavyweights in there. You got Feds, you got interstellar commerce commission, you got colonial administration, insurance company guys...
-I get the picture.
-You had them eating out of your hand, kiddo.
-They had their minds made up before I even went in there. They think I'm a head case.
-No. There's no way!
-Hear me out...
-What about you? What's your interest in this?
-Yeah, yeah. I saw the commercial.
-I heard you were working in the cargo docks.
-That's right.
-Running loaders, forklifts, that sort of thing?
-It's all I could get. Anyway, it keeps my mind off of... everything. Days off are worse.
-What if I said I could get you reinstated as a flight officer? And that the company has agreed to pick up your contract?
-If I go.
-If you go. It's a second chance, kiddo. And it'll be the best thing in the world for you to face this fear and beat it. You gotta get back on the horse...
-Yes, and I've read it. You wake up every night, sheets soaking, the same nightmare over and over...
-Yello? Oh, Ripley. Hi...
-Burke, just tell me one thing. That you're going out there to kill them. Not study. Not bring back. Just burn them out...clean ...forever.
-You never said anything about an android being here! Why not?
-I hope you're right. I really do.
-That the atmosphere processor?
-They're right under the primary heat exchangers.
-Yeah? Maybe the organisms like the heat, that's why they built...
-That's not what I mean. Gorman, if your men have to use their weapons in there, they'll rupture the cooling system.
-No good. How do we know it'll effect their biochemistry? I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
-Now hold on a second. I'm not authorizing that action.
-Well, I mean...I know this is an emotional moment, but let's not make snap judgments. Let's move cautiously. First, this physical installation had a substantial dollar value attached to it --
-They can bill me. I got a tab running. What's second?
-This is clearly an important species we're dealing with here. We can't just arbitrarily exterminate them --
-You son of a bitch.
-Don't make me pull rank, Ripley.
-What rank? I believe Corporal Hicks has authority here.
-Corporal Hicks!?
-Those specimens are worth millions to the bio-weapons division. Now, if you're smart we can both come out of this heroes. Set up for life.
-You just try getting a dangerous organism past ICC quarantine. Section 22350 of the Commerce Code.
-You've been doing your homework. Look, they can't impound it if they don't know about it.
-But they will know about it, Burke. From me. Just like they'll know how you were responsible for the deaths of one hundred and fifty-seven colonists here --
-Now, wait a second --
-You sent them out there and you didn't even warn them, Burke. Why didn't you warn them?
-I expected more of you, Ripley. I thought you would be smarter than this.
-Look, we don't know what's going on out there. It may just be a down transmitter. But if it's not, I want you there...as an advisor. That's all.
-You wouldn't be going in with the troops. I can guarantee your safety.
-These Colonial Marines are some tough hombres, and they're packing state-of-the-art firepower. Nothing they can't handle...right, Lieutenant?
-Still nothing from the colony?
-Looks like you company can write off its share of this colony.
-What's he scanning for?
-We're talking thermonuclear explosion.
-How may drops is this for you, Lieutenant?
-Hold at forty. Slow circle of the complex.
-One of us?
-Where are your parents? You have to try...
-What is it?
-I don't know.
-So.
-So...then the fusion containment shuts down.
-GET THEM OUT OF THERE! DO IT NOW!
-I told them to fall back...
-How do you feel?
-All right, I guess. One hell of a hangover. Look, Ripley... I...
-At ease. I'm sorry we didn't have time to brief before we left Gateway but...
-Sir?
-Yes, Hicks?
-Hudson, Sir. He's Hicks.
-What's the question?
-Is this going to be a stand-up fight, Sir, on another bug-hunt?
-Are there any questions? Hudson?
-All right, the area's secured. Let's go in and see what their computer can tell us. First team head for operations. Hudson, see if you can get their CPU on line. Hicks, meet me at the south lock by the up-link tower...
-...We're coming in.
-Sir, the CPU is on-line.
-Hah! Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen! Found 'em.
-Alive?
-We're not making that out too well. What is it?
-Save it.
-Let's get the fuck out of here!
-Well that's great! That's just fucking great, man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do, man? We're in some real pretty shit now!
-Outstanding. Then all we need's a deck of cards. All right, let's move like we got a purpose.
-We got problems.
-Maybe we got 'em demoralized.
-The corner! Ready?
-Seventeen meters.
-Well you're not reading it right!
-Let's go! Let's go!
-Removed surgically before embryo implantation. Subject: Marachuk, John L. Died during procedure. They killed him getting it off.
-How long after we're declared overdue can we expect a rescue?
-All right. There's a fire door at this end. The first thing we do is put a remote sentry in the tunnel and seal that door.
-We gotta figure on them getting into the complex.
-They're in the approach corridor.
-Now many?
-Newt time then can walk right up and knock.
-They'll get us.
-Maybe. Maybe not.
-Hicks, I'm not going to wind up like those others. You'll take care of it won't you, it if comes to that?
-What's this?
-Well, that's the grenade launcher ...you probably don't want to mess with that.
-Look, you started this. Now show me everything. I can handle myself.
-Wait a minute. We'd know about it.
-You know, Burke, I don't know which species is worse. You don't see them screwing each other over for a fucking percentage.
-It's game time.
-They learned. They cut the power and avoided the guns. They must have found another way in, something we missed.
-Locked.
-No! No! She's alive! We have to --
-Hicks, don't let him leave.
-Ellen.
-Hey, Vasquez...you ever been mistaken for a man?
-Somebody said alien...she thought they said illegal alien and signed up.
-Fuck you.
-All right, we can't blow the fuck out of them...why not roll some canisters of CN-20 down there. Nerve gas the whole nest?
-Yeah, bullshit. Watch us.
-Oh, man. And I was gettin' short, too! Four more weeks and out. Now I'm gonna buy it on this fuckin' rock. It ain't half fair, man!
-It's inside the complex.
-You're just reading me.
-Sounds like you, Hicks.
-Looks like it stung him.
-You can't help them. Right now they're being cocooned just like the others.
-Man, we're not going to make it seventeen hours! Those things are going to come in here, just like they did before, man... they're going to come in here and get us, man, long before...
-This service tunnel is how they're moving back and forth.
-Thanks.
-We need the other drop-ship. The on one the Sulaco. We have to bring it down on remote, somehow.
-How? The transmitter was on the APC. It's wasted.
-I don't care how! Think of a way. Think of something.
-Think of what? We're fucked.
-Well then somebody's just going to have to go out there. Take a portable terminal and go out there and plug in manually.
-They cut the power.
-This signal's weird...must be some interference or something. There's movement all over the place...
-Range twenty meters.
-Fifteen meters.
-Twelve meters. Man, this is a big fucking signal. Ten meters.
-Nine meters. Eight.
-Can't be. That's inside the room!
-You remember you sent some wildcatters out to that plateau, out past the Ilium range, a couple days ago?
-Yeah. What?
-There's a guy on the horn, mom-and-pop survey team. Says he's homing on something and wants to know if his claim will be honored.
-Christ. Some honch in a cushy office on Earth says go look at a grid reference in the middle of nowhere, we look. They don't say why, and I don't ask. I don't ask because it takes two weeks to get an answer out here and the answer's always 'don't ask.'
-So what do I tell this guy?
-And how are we today?
-Terrible.
-Just terrible? That's better than yesterday at least.
-How long have I been on Gateway station?
-Bad dreams again? Do you want something to help you sleep?
-What did you say?
-Casey. She's my only friend.
-I don't want you for a friend.
-Why not?
-They'd be here if they could, honey. I know they would.
-They're dead.
-Newt. Look at me...Newt. I won't leave you. I promise.
-You promise?
-Cross my heart.
-I was the best at the game. I knew the whole maze.
-The 'maze'? You mean the air ducts?
-Yeah, you know. In the walls, under the floor. I was the ace. I could hide better than anybody.
-I guess we're not leaving, right?
-I'm sorry, Newt.
-Now you just lie here and have a nap. You're exhausted.
-Ripley...she doesn't have bad dreams because she's just a piece of plastic.
-Oh. Sorry, Newt.
-Yes, there are, aren't there.
-Well, some kids can't handle it like you can.
-I don't know, Newt. That's the truth.
-Isn't that how babies come? I mean people babies...they grow inside you?
-No, it's different, honey.
-Did you ever have a baby?
-Yes. A little girl.
-Where is she?
-Gone.
-Don't go! Please.
-Newt. Newt, wake up.
-Wah...? Where are...?
-Mommy...I mean, Ripley...I'm scared.
-Burke! Open the door!
-Come on. Crawl faster.
-DO you know how to get to the landing field from here?
-This way. Come on, we're almost there!
-I knew you'd come.
-Mommy...Mommy?
-Are we going to sleep now?
-That's right.
-Can we dream?
-Look, I told you...
-The analysis team which went over your shuttle centimeter by centimeter found no physical evidence of the creature you describe...
-Look, I can see where this is going. But I'm telling you those things exist. Back on that planetoid is an alien ship and on that ship are thousands of eggs. Thousands. Do you understand? I suggest you find it, using the flight recorder's data. Find it and deal with it -- before one of your survey teams comes back with a little surprise...
-Thank you, Officer Ripley. That will be...
-Why won't you check out LV-426?
-Because I don't have to. The people who live there checked it out years ago and they never reported and 'hostile organism' or alien ship. And by the way, they call it Acheron now.
-How many colonists?
-Sixty, maybe seventy families.
-A sweetheart or a pretty little wife is Papageno's wish. A willing, billing, lovey dovey Would be My most tasty little dish. Be my most tasty little dish! Be my most tasty little dish!
-Then that would be eating and drinking I'd live like a Prince without thinking. The wisdom of old would be mine - A woman's much better than wine! Then that would be eating and drinking! The wisdom of old would be mine - A woman's much better than wine. She's much better than wine! She's much better than wine!
-A sweetheart or a pretty little wife is Papageno's wish. A willing, billing, lovey dovey Would be My most tasty little dish.
-I need to net one birdie only And I will stop feeling so lonely. But if she won't fly to my aid, Then into a ghost I must fade. I need to net one birdie only But if she won't fly to my aid, Then into a ghost I must fade. To a ghost I must fade! To a ghost I must fade!
-A sweetheart or a pretty little wife is Papageno's wish. A willing, billing, lovey dovey Would be My most tasty little dish.
-Follow me, please. The Archbishop would like a word.
-Well, I think that went off remarkably well, don't you?
-Indeed.
-These Viennese certainly know good music when they hear it.
-His Grace is very angry with you.
-Maestro.
-Good morning.
-Well? How do you like it? It's Turkish. My hairdresser tells me everything's going to be Turkish this year!
-Really? What else did he tell you today? Give me some gossip.
-Well, I heard you met Herr Mozart.
-Oh? News travels fast in Vienna.
-And he's been commissioned to write an opera. Is it true?
-Yes.
-Is there a part for me?
-No.
-How do you know?
-Well even if there is, I don't think you want to get involved with this one.
-Why not?
-Well, do you know where it's set, my dear?
-Where?
-In a harem.
-What's that?
-A brothel.
-Oh!
-A Turkish brothel.
-Turkish? Oh, if it's Turkish, that's different. I want to be in it.
-Oh. Well perhaps you could introduce us anyway.
-What does he look like?
-You might be disappointed.
-Why?
-Looks and talent don't always go together, Katherina.
-Did you know? Had you heard?
-What?
-The marriage!
-Well, what does it matter to you?
-How was I? Tell me honestly.
-You were sublime.
-What did you think of the music?
-Extremely clever.
-Katherina! I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to write another aria for you. Something even more amazing for the second act. I have to get some water. Her mother is lying on the stage.
-Don't bother!
-What?
-Don't bother.
-Oh - excuse me!
-Is her mother still lying on the floor?
-No, she's fine.
-Is she a good fuck?
-What??
-No, no, no, no. You can't take him away now. This is his night. Won't you introduce us, Wolfgang?
-No! I won't have him back.
-But he needs to be here in Salzburg, Your Grace. He needs me and he needs you. Your protection, your understanding.
-Hardly.
-Oh sir, yes! He's about to make the worst mistake of his life. Some little Viennese slut is trying to trick him into marriage. I know my son. He is too simple to see the trap - and there is no one there who really cares for him.
-I'm not surprised. Money seems to be more important to him than loyalty or friendship. He has sold himself to Vienna. Let Vienna look out for him.
-Sir -
-Your son is an unprincipled, spoiled, conceited brat.
-Yes, sir, that's the truth. But don't blame him. The fault is mine. I was too indulgent with him. But not again. Never again, I promise! I implore you - let me bring him back here. I'll make him give his word to serve you faithfully.
-And how will you make him keep it?
-Oh, sir, he's never disobeyed me in anything. Please, Your Grace, give him one more chance.
-You have leave to try.
-Why what, sir?
-Why do I have to be humiliated in front of my guests by one of my own servants?
-Humiliated?
-If His Grace is not satisfied with me, he can dismiss me.
-I wish you to return immediately to Salzburg. Your father is waiting for you there patiently. I will speak to you further when I come.
-No, Your Grace! I mean with all humility, no. I would rather you dismissed me. It's obvious I don't satisfy.
-Don Giovannnnnnnni!
-Who the devil are you? What do you want?
-I've come to dinnnnnner!
-Dinner? How dare you? I am a nobleman. I only dine with people of my own height.
-In the pot, I have got a good dinner. Not a sausage or stew, but a singer. Not a sausage or stew but a singer. Is the treat that I'll eat for my meat!
-What is it?
-I want to go!
-Where?
-I want to go back to Vienna.
-Now?
-Yes!
-Why?
-I feel wrong. I feel wrong being here.
-Stop it!
-No! No! No!
-Yes! Back! Back! Listen - don't you know where you are?
-Where?
-We are in the Residence of the Fartsbishop of Salzburg.
-Your Grace, I've got something to tell you. I want to complain about this man.
-Go ahead, tell him. Tell them all. They won't understand you anyway.
-Why not?
-Because here everything goes backwards. People walk backwards, dance backwards, sing backwards, and talk backwards.
-That's stupid.
-Why? People fart backwards.
-Do you think that's funny?
-Oh, ha, ha, ha.
-Sra-I'm-sick! Sra-I'm sick!
-Yes, you are. You're very sick.
-No, no. Say it backwards, shit-wit. Sra-I'm-sick Say it backwards!
-Sra-I'm-sick. Sick - kiss I'm - my Kiss my! Sra-I'm-sick - Kiss my arse!
-Em iram! Em iram!
-No, I'm not playing this game.
-No, this is serious. Say it backwards.
-No!
-Just say it - you'll see. It's very serious. Em iram! Em iram!
-Iram - marry Em - marry me! No, no! You're a fiend. I'm not going to marry a fiend. A dirty fiend at that.
-Ui-vol-i-tub!
-Tish-I'm tee. What's that?
-What?
-Tish-I'm-tee.
-Eat
-Yes.
-Excuse me, Wolfi. Mama is not feeling very well. Can we leave now?
-I think you're mad! You're really mad!
-Oh, leave me alone.
-One royal pupil and the whole of Vienna will come flocking. We'd be set up for life!
-They'll come anyway. They love me here.
-No, they will not. I know how things work in this city.
-Oh yes? You always know everything.
-Well, I'm not borrowing any more money from my mother, and that's that!
-You borrowed money from your mother?
-Yes!
-Well, don't do that again!
-How are we going to live, Wolfi? Do you want me to go into the streets and beg?
-Don't be stupid.
-All they want to see is your work. What's wrong with that?
-Shut up! Just shut up! I don't need them.
-Stop it now. Stop it. I've brought some friends to meet you. They're next door waiting. Do we have anything to eat? They're all starving.
-Tell them to go away. I don't want to see anybody.
-What's the matter with you?
-Tell them to go!
-Sssh. What is it? Tell me.
-No!
-Yes!
-My Stanzi - look at her! Isn't she beautiful? Come on now, confess, Papa. Could you want a prettier girl for a daughter?
-Stop it, Wolfi. I look dreadful. Welcome to our house, Herr Mozart.
-May I offer you some tea, Herr Mozart?
-Tea? Who wants tea? Let's go out! This calls for a feast. You don't want tea, Papa. Let's go dancing. Papa loves parties, don't you?
-Wolfi!
-What? How can you be so boring? Tea!
-There's a young girl to see you.
-What does she want?
-I don't know.
-Well, ask her!
-She won't talk to me. She says she has to speak to you.
-Look, old man, you stay out of this. We spend a fortune on you, more than we can possibly afford, and all you do is criticize, morning to night. And then you think you can -
-Stanzi!
-We'll have a little party. Come in. Come in. You know Herr Schikaneder? This is! a very nice girl.
-Wolfi.
-Yes, my love?
-These gentlemen are from Salzburg.
-Salzburg. We were just talking about Salzburg. If you've come from my friend the Fartsbishop, you've arrived at just the right moment. Because I've got good news for him. I'm done with Vienna. It's over, finished, done with! Done with! Done with!
-Wolfi! Your father is dead.
-What?
-Half the receipts! Stanzi!
-You're not going to do this?
-Why not? Half the house!
-When? We need money now. Either he pays now, or you don't do it.
-Oh, Stanzi.
-I don't trust this man. And I didn't like what he did with your opera. It was common.
-Well, you liked it, didn't you? Monkey-flunki-punki.
-Half the house! You'll never see a penny. I want it here, in my hand.
-Stanzi-manzi, I'll put it in your hand!
-Who was that?
-No one.
-What's that? Oh! Who gave you this? How much is it? Wolfi, who gave you this?
-I'm not telling you.
-Why not?
-No. Don't answer it!
-This is my wife, Stanzi. I've been sick, but I'm all right now. Aren't I?
-Oh yes, sir. He's all right. And he's working on it very hard.
-Give me one reason I can understand.
-I can't write it!
-Why not?
-Go back to bed.
-Excellency!
-Frau Mozart?
-That's right, Your Excellency. I've come on behalf of my hus band. I'm - I'm bringing some samples of his work so he can be considered for the royal appointment.
-How charming. But why did he not come himself?
-He's terribly busy, sir.
-I will look at them, of course, the moment I can. It will be an honour. Please give him my warmest.
-Would it be too much trouble, sir, to ask you to look at them now? While I wait.
-I'm afraid I'm not at leisure this very moment. Just leave them with me. I assure you they will be quite safe.
-I - I really cannot do that, Your Excellency. You see, he doesn't know I'm here.
-Really?
-My husband is a proud man, sir. He would be furious if he knew I'd come.
-Then he didn't send you?
-No, sir. This is my own idea.
-I see.
-Thank you very much, Your Excellency.
-Are you sure you can't leave that music, and come back again? I have other things you might like.
-That's very tempting, but it's impossible, I'm afraid. Wolfi would be frantic if he found those were missing. You see, they're all originals.
-Originals?
-These are originals?
-It is miraculous.
-Tomorrow night I dine with the Emperor. One word from me and the post is his.
-Come back tonight.
-Tonight?
-Alone.
-What for?
-Some service deserves service in return. No?
-What do you mean?
-It's a post all Vienna seeks. If you want it for your husband, come tonight.
-But! I'm a married woman!
-I do apologize for this afternoon. I behaved like a silly girl. Where shall we go?
-What?
-What are you doing here?
-Your husband is ill, ma'am. He took sick. I brought him home.
-Why you?
-I was at hand.
-Well, thank you very much. You can go now.
-He needs me, ma'am.
-No, he doesn't. And I don't want you here. Just go, please.
-He asked me to stay.
-This is not his handwriting.
-No. I was assisting him. He asked me.
-I regret we have no servants to show you out, Herr Salieri. Respect my wish and go.
-How much will you pay him?
-Am I interrupting something?
-Not at all.
-Where's our friend?
-He's not in. But he's working on it. He said to tell you.
-Look, you little clown, do you know how many people I've hired for you? Do you know how many people are waiting?
-Leave him alone!
-I'm paying these people. Do you realize that?
-He's doing his best.
-I'm paying people just to wait for you. It's ridiculous!
-You know what's ridiculous? Your libretto, that's what's ridiculous. Only an idiot would ask Wolfi to work on that stuff!
-Oh yes? And what's so intelligent about writing a Requiem?
-Money! Money!
-You're mad! She's mad, Wolfi.
-I see that you're expecting.
-Oh, yes.
-When, may I ask?
-What is ridiculous? Wolfi has many admirers in Vienna. They love him here. People send us gifts all the time.
-But you can't take her without reference. It's unheard of!
-And so you do! The only time you come out is to eat.
-And what do you expect? Who wants to walk out into a mess like this every day?
-Oh, now I'm a bad housekeeper!
-So you are! The place is a pigsty all the time.
-Be careful!
-He's adorable!
-Behold!
-Hey!
-Behold!
-Let us pass, please! Let us pass at once! We're with the Emperor.
-I am sorry, Madame. It is not permitted.
-Do you know who I am? This is my daughter. I am Frau Weber. We are favoured guests!
-I am sorry, Madame, but I have my orders.
-I am sorry, Madame, but no! I cannot let anyone pass.
-Upstairs.
-Gertrude!
-I've heard about you for ages! I thought you must be an old man.
-Gertrude!
-It's such an honour for us to have you here, Herr Mozart. And for Gertrude.
-People who know say the girl's got talent. You must judge for yourself. If you think she stinks, say so.
-I said play!
-What a strange young man.
-Really?
-Perhaps a little refreshment first? A little coffee, or a little chocolate?
-I'd like a little wine, if you have it.
-Just one year.
-Who was your teacher?
-I was. But she quite outgrew the little I could show her.
-I think it is an interesting notion to keep Mozart in Vienna, Majesty. It should really infuriate the Archbishop beyond measure - if that is your Majesty's intention.
-What a charming idea. May I see?
-It's just a trifle, of course.
-May I try it?
-Delightful, Court Composer. Would you permit me to play it as he comes in?
-You do me too much honour, Sire.
-A-flat, Majesty.
-And here is our illustrious Court Composer, Herr Salieri.
-My pleasure.
-Well, I'm glad to hear that.
-Excuse me, Sire, but what do you think these could be? Being a foreigner, I would love to learn.
-Good morning, Court Composer. This is my niece, the Princess Elizabeth.
-Oh, Your Majesty, it would be such a tremendous honour!
-An interesting idea, Majesty. But -
-Yes?
-You already commissioned an opera from Mozart.
-And the result satisfies.
-Yes, of course. My concern is to protect you from any suspicion of favouritism.
-Ah-ha. Favouritism. But I so want Mozart.
-I'm sure there is a way, Majesty. Some kind of a little contest. I could perhaps put together a small Committee, and I could see to it naturally that it will select according to Your Majesty's wishes.
-You please me, Court Composer. A very clever idea.
-Sire.
-I don't think you understand me, Court Composer.
-Majesty, I did. Believe me, it was a most agonizing. decision. But finally, I simply could not recommend Herr Mozart.
-Why not?
-Well, Sire, I made some inquiries in a routine way. I was curious to know why he had so few pupils. It is rather alarming.
-Majesty, I don't like to talk against a fellow musician.
-Of course not.
-I have to tell you, Mozart is not entirely to be trusted alone with young ladies.
-Really?
-As a matter of fact, one of my own pupils - a very young singer - told me she was - er - well!
-Yes?
-Do you like this, Salieri?
-It is not a question of liking, Your Majesty. Your own law decrees it, I'm afraid.
-Your Majesty!
-Oh, thank you.
-The Director of our Opera. Count Orsini-Rosenberg.
-And now he has returned the compliment. Herr Salieri composed that March of Welcome for you.
-Majesty!
-Why so?
-Well, what is it about? Tell us the story.
-Yes, where?
-In a Pasha's Harem, Majesty. A Seraglio.
-Keep it, Sire, if you want to. It is already here in my head.
-What? On one hearing only?
-It is new, it is, isn't it, Sire?
-Yes, indeed.
-And German?
-Oh, yes. Absolutely. German. Unquestionably!
-So then you like it? You really like it, Your Majesty?
-Of course I do. It's very good. Of course now and then - just now and then - it gets a touch elaborate.
-What do you mean, Sire?
-I don't understand. There are just as many notes, Majesty, as are required. Neither more nor less.
-My dear, young man, don't take it too hard. Your work is ingenious. It's quality work. And there are simply too many notes, that's all. Cut a few and it will be perfect.
-Majesty, this is Madame Weber. She is my landlady.
-Really? How delightful. May I ask when you marry?
-Excuse me, but how old are you?
-Twenty-six.
-Bravo, Mozart. Most charming. Yes, indeed. Clever man.
-Majesty, may I ask you to do me the greatest favour?
-What is it?
-May I introduce my father? He is on a short visit here and returning very soon to Salzburg. He would so much like to kiss your hand. It would make his whole stay so memorable for him.
-Mozart, are you aware I have declared the French play of Figaro unsuitable for our theatre?
-Yes, Sire.
-Yet we hear you are making an opera from it. Is this true?
-Who told you this, Majesty?
-It is not your place to ask questions. Is it true?
-Well, yes, I admit it is.
-Would you tell me why?
-Mozart, I am a tolerant man. I do not censor things lightly. When I do, I have good reason. Figaro is a bad play. It stirs up hatred between the classes. In France it has caused nothing but bitterness. My own dear sister Antoinette writes me that she is beginning to be frightened of her own people. I do not wish to see the
-Sire, I swear to Your Majesty, there's nothing like that in the story. I have taken out everything that could give offense. I hate politics.
-But, Majesty, this is just a frolic. It's a piece about love.
-Ah, love again.
-But it's new, it's entirely new. It's so new, people will go mad for it. For example, I have a scene in the second act - it starts as a duet, just a man and wife quarreling. Suddenly the wife's scheming little maid comes in unexpectedly - a very funny situation. Duet turns into trio. Then the husband's equally screaming valet comes in. Trio
-I have no idea.
-Guess! Guess, Majesty. Imagine the longest time such a thing could last, then double it.
-Well, six or seven minutes! maybe eight!
-Forgive me, Majesty. I'm a vulgar man. But I assure you, my music is not.
-You are passionate, Mozart! But you do not persuade.
-Ah-ha. Well then, we should make some effort to acquire him. We could use a good German composer in Vienna, surely?
-I agree, Majesty, but I'm afraid it's not possible. The young man is still in the pay of the Archbishop.
-Ah-ha. What do you say, Chamberlain?
-Yes, sir.
-Well, what do you have for me today?
-Your Majesty, Herr Mozart -
-Yes, what about him?
-He's here.
-I write to you with urgent news. I am coming to Vienna. Take no further steps toward marriage until we meet. You are too gullible to see your own danger. As you honour the father who has devoted his entire life to yours, do as I bid, and await my coming.
-Why are you here?
-Am I not welcome?
-Feed? Well, of course she feeds me. She stuffs me like a goose all day long. She's the best cook in the world. I mean, since Mama. Just wait, you'll see.
-Is she not here?
-Do you always live like this?
-She's very tired, poor creature. You know me: I'm a real pig. It's not so easy cleaning up after me.
-Don't you have a maid?
-Oh we could, if we wanted to, but Stanzi won't hear of it. She wants to do everything herself.
-How is your financial situation?
-It couldn't be better.
-That's not what I hear.
-What do you mean? It's wonderful. Really, it's - it's marvelous! People love me here.
-They say you're in debt.
-Who? Who says that? Now that's a malicious lie!
-How many pupils do you have?
-Pupils?
-Yes.
-Yes.
-How many?
-I don't know. It's not important. I mean, I don't want pupils. They get in the way. I've got to have time for composition.
-Composition doesn't pay. You know that.
-What's that?
-Oh, let's not talk about it.
-Why not?
-It's a secret.
-You don't have secrets from me.
-Isn't that marvelous? We're delighted.
-Why didn't you mention it in your letters?
-Thank you. That'll be fine. Don't spend any money on me.
-No, really!
-Yes, Papa, name it. Name it. I'll do anything you say!
-I'm tired of this game. Please play without me.
-Papa, is this your idea?
-Are you playing a trick on me?
-Never mind. You won't have to do anything for me ever again. I'm leaving!
-Papa!
-Don't worry, I'm not staying here to be a burden.
-No one calls you that.
-Father -
-Ah! Here she comes. Fraulein Lorl, good morning.
-Good morning, sir.
-Ah-ha! Siena macaroons - my favourites. Give my best thanks to the baker.
-Thank you. Are you well today, Fraulein Lorl?
-Yes, thank you, sir.
-Madame Cavalieri is here for her lesson, sir.
-Oh, thank you, sir.
-Do any pupils come to the house?
-Not that I've seen.
-Then how does he pay for all this? Does he work at all?
-Oh, yes, sir, all day long. He never leaves the house until evening. He just sits there, writing and writing. He doesn't even eat.
-Really? What is it he's writing?
-Oh, I wouldn't know that, sir.
-I think I've found out about the money, sir.
-Where does he work?
-Now calm yourself. Calm. What's the matter with you?
-I'm leaving. I'm not working there anymore. I'm scared!
-Why? What has happened?
-You don't know what it's like. Herr Mozart frightens me. He drinks all day, then takes all that medicine and it makes him worse.
-What medicine?
-I don't know. He has pains.
-Where?
-Here, in his stomach. They bend him right over.
-Is he working?
-I'm frightened, sir. Really! When he speaks, he doesn't make any sense. You know he said he saw - he said he saw his father. And his father's dead.
-Is he working?
-I suppose so. He sits there all he time, doing some silly opera.
-Opera? Opera!
-Please don't ask me to go back again. I'm frightened! I'm very, very frightened.
-Yes?
-Are you Herr Mozart?
-That's right.
-My name is Lorl, sir. I'm a maidservant. I was asked to come here and offer my services to you.
-What?
-Are you saying that someone is paying you to be our maid and doesn't want us to know who he is?
-Sssh!
-Stanzi-Manzi-Banzi-Wanzi!
-What did he say? What did he say?
-Well?
-Sublime! Utterly sublime!
-Wonderful! He liked the monkey, didn't you?
-Yes, well, it's all good fun.
-Isn't he marvelous? He cost me a bundle, that horse, but he's worth it. I tell you, if you'd played Don Giovanni here it would have been a great success. I'm not joking. These people aren't fools. You could do something marvelous for them.
-I'd like to try them someday. I'm not sure I'd be much good at it.
-'Course you would. You belong here, my boy, not the snobby Court. You could do anything you felt like here - the more fantastic the better! That's what people want, you know: fantasy. You do a big production, fill it with beautiful magic tricks and you'll be absolutely free to do anything you want. Of course, you'd have to put a fire in it,
-Animals?
-I'm serious. You write a proper part for me with a couple of catchy songs, I'll guarantee you'll have a triumph- de-luxe. Mind you, it'll have to be in German.
-German!
-Of course! What else do you think they speak here?
-No, no, I love that. I'd want it to be in German. I haven't done anything in German since Seraglio.
-Leave that alone!
-Wolfi!
-Put it down!
-What is this?
-Put it down, I said! It's nothing for you.
-Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! What have you got for me? Is it finished?
-What?
-What? The vaudeville, what'd you think?
-Yes.
-Can I see it?
-No.
-Why not?
-Look, I asked you if we could start rehearsal next week and you said yes.
-Well, we can.
-Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Down there, damn you. Welcome to you. Pay no attention, they're impossible. Stop it, you willful things! Come this way. Just ignore them. They're perfectly harmless, just willful. I treat them just like my own children.
-And which one of them do you want me to teach?
-You won't be teaching this one either. She's my wife.
-Madame.
-I'm afraid I am.
-Good morning, Fraulein Schlumberg.
-Never mind, Strudel. It's part of music, getting used to an audience. Aren't I right, Herr Mozart?
-It's a miracle, Herr Mozart!
-Herr Mozart. What a surprise. What can I do for you?
-Is my pupil still anxious to learn the art of music?
-Well, your pupil is married and living in Mannheim, young man.
-Really? Perhaps your dear wife might care to profit from my instruction?
-What is this, Mozart? What's the matter with you?
-Well. Since it appears nobody is eager to hire my services, could you favour me with a little money instead?
-What for?
-If a man cannot earn, he must borrow.
-Well, this is hardly the way to go about it.
-I'm sorry. No.
-Please. I'll give it back, I promise. Please, sir.
-I know your work well, Signore. Do you know I actually composed some variations on a melody of yours?
-Really?
-Mio caro Adone.
-Ah!
-Love, Sire!
-Yes! yes! er, on the whole, yes, Majesty.
-Dear Mozart, my sincere congratulations.
-Did you like it, then?
-How could I not?
-Herr Mozart, what brings you here?
-Your Excellency, you requested some specimens of my work. Here they are. I don't have to tell you how much I need your help. I truly appreciate your looking at these. I have pressures on me - financial pressures. As you know, I'm a married man now.
-So you are. How is your pretty wife?
-She is well. She is - well, actually, I'm about to become a father! She only told me last night. You are the first to know.
-I'm flattered. And congratulations to you, of course.
-Why didn't you come to me yesterday, Mozart? This is a most painful situation. Yesterday I could have helped you. Today, I can't.
-Why? Here is the music. It's here. I am submitting it humbly. Isn't that what you wanted?
-I have just come from the palace. The post has been filled.
-Filled? That's impossible! They haven't even seen my work. I need this post. Please, can't you help me? Please!
-My dear Mozart, there is no one in the world I would rather help, but now it is too late.
-Whom did they choose?
-Herr Sommer.
-Sommer? Herr Sommer? But the man's a fool! He's a total mediocrity.
-No, no, no: he has yet to achieve mediocrity.
-But I can't lose this post, I simply can't! Excellency, please. Let's go to the palace, and you can explain to the Emperor that Herr Sommer is an awful choice. He could actually do musical harm to the Princess!
-Look, I must have pupils. Without pupils I can't manage.
-You don't mean to tell me you are living in poverty?
-No, but I'm broke. I'm always broke. I don't know why.
-It has been said, my friend, that you are inclined to live somewhat above your means.
-How can anyone say that? We have no cook, no maid. We have no footman. Nothing at all!
-How is that possible? You give concerts, don't you? I hear they are quite successful.
-They're stupendously successful. You can't get a seat. The only problem is none will hire me. They all want to hear me play, but they won't let me teach their daughters. As if I was some kind of fiend. I'm not a fiend!
-Of course not.
-Do you have a daughter?
-I'm afraid not.
-Well, could you lend me some money till you have one? Then I'll teach her for free. That's a promise. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being silly. Papa's right - I should put a padlock on my mouth. Seriously, is there any chance you could manage a loan? Only for six months, eight at most. After that I'll be the richest man in Vienna. I'll
-Ah, how exciting! Tell me more.
-I'd better not. It's a bit of a secret.
-Come, come, Mozart; I'm interested. Truly.
-Actually, it's a big secret. Oh, this is delicious! What is it?
-Cream cheese mixed with granulated sugar and suffused with rum. Crema al Mascarpone.
-Ah. Italian?
-Forgive me. We all have patriotic feelings of some kind.
-Two thousand, two hundred florins is all I need A hundred? Fifty?
-What exactly are you working on?
-I can't say. Really
-Wolfgang, what is it? Sta calmo, per favore. What's the matter?
-It's unbelievable! The Director has actually ripped out a huge section of my music. Pages of it.
-Really? Why?
-I don't know. They say I've got to re-write the opera, but it's perfect as it is. I can't rewrite what's perfect. Can't you talk to him?
-Why bother with Orsini-Rosenberg? He's obviously no friend of yours.
-Oh, I could kill him! I mean really kill him. I actually threw the entire opera on the fire, he made me so angry!
-You burned the score?
-Oh no! My wife took it out in time.
-How fortunate.
-It's not fair that a man like that has power over our work.
-But there are those who have power over him. I think I'll take this up with the Emperor.
-Oh, Excellency, would you?
-With all my heart, Mozart.
-Nine performances! Nine! That's all it's had - and withdrawn.
-I know; it's outrageous. Still, if the public doesn't like one's work one has to accept the fact gracefully.
-But what is it they don't like?
-Well, I can speak for the Emperor. You made too many demands on the royal ear. The poor man can't concentrate for more than an hour and you gave him four.
-What did you think of it yourself? Did you like it at all?
-I think it's marvelous. Truly.
-It's the best opera yet written. I know it! Why didn't they come?
-I think you overestimate our dear Viennese, my friend. Do you know you didn't even give them a good bang at the end of songs so they knew when to clap?
-I know, I know. Perhaps you should give me some lessons in that.
-I wouldn't presume. All the same, if it wouldn't be imposing, I would like you to see my new piece. It would be a tremendous honour for me.
-Oh no, the honour would be all mine.
-Grazie, mio caro, Wolfgang!
-Mozart. It was good of you to come.
-How could I not?
-Did my work please you?
-How could it not, Excellency?
-Yes?
-I never knew that music like that was possible.
-You flatter me.
-I have come to commission work from you.
-What work?
-A Mass for the dead.
-What dead? Who is dead?
-A man who deserved a Requiem Mass and never got one.
-Who are you?
-I am only a messenger. Do you accept? You will be paid well.
-How long will you give me?
-I don't have it yet. It's not finished. I'm sorry, but I need more time.
-Are you neglecting my request?
-What happened? Is it over?
-I'm taking you home. You're not well.
-Where is your wife?
-Not here! She's not well, either. She went to the Spa.
-You mean she's not coming back?
-You're so good to me. Truly. Thank you.
-No, please.
-I would never miss anything that you had written. You must know that.
-This is only a vaudeville.
-Oh no. It is a sublime piece. The grandest operone. I tell you, you are the greatest composer known to me.
-Do you mean that?
-I do.
-I have bad fancies. I don't sleep well anymore. Then I drink too much, and think stupid things.
-Are you ill?
-The doctor thinks I am. But -
-What?
-Shall I answer it?
-No! No, it's him!
-Who?
-The man. He's here.
-Wait! Ask him if he'd give me some money now. Tell him if he would, that would help me finish it.
-Finish what?
-Another? But that's too soon! Tomorrow night? It's impossible! Did he say a hundred?
-Yes. Can I - could I help you, in any way?
-Would you? Actually, you could.
-My dear friend, it would be my greatest pleasure.
-But you'd have to swear not to tell a soul. I'm not allowed.
-Of course.
-You know, it's all here in my head. It's just ready to be set down. But when I'm dizzy like this my eyes won't focus. I can't write.
-Then, let us try together. I'd regard it as such an honour. Tell me, what is this work?
-Where did I stop?
-The end of the Recordare - Statuens in parte dextra.
-So now the Confutatis. Confutatis Maledictis. When the wicked are confounded. Flammis acribus addictis. How would you translate that?
-Consigned to flames of woe.
-Do you believe in it?
-What?
-A fire which never dies. Burning one forever?
-Oh, yes.
-Strange!
-Confutatis Maledictis.
-We ended in F Major?
-Yes.
-The Fire.
-What time?
-Start with the voices. Basses first. Second beat of the first measure - A. Con-fu-ta-tis. Second measure, second beat. Ma-le-dic-tis. G-sharp, of course.
-Yes.
-Third measure, second beat starting on E. Flam-mis a-cri-bus ad-dic-tis. And fourth measure, fourth beat - D. Ma-le-dic-tis, flam-mis a-cri-bus ad- dic-tis. Do you have that?
-I think so.
-Good. Now the tenors. Fourth beat of the first measure - C. Con-fu-ta-tis. Second measure, fourth beat on D. Ma-le-dic-tis. All right?
-Yes.
-Now the orchestra. Second bassoon and bass trombone with the basses. Identical notes and rhythm. The first bassoon and tenor trombone -
-It couldn't be simpler.
-First bassoon and tenor trombone - what?
-With the tenors.
-Also identical?
-And that's all?
-Do you have me?
-I think so.
-That's wonderful!
-C Major. Sopranos and altos in thirds. Altos on C. Sopranos above. Vo-ca, vo-ca me, vo-ca me cum be-ne- dic-tis.
-Sopranos up to F on the second 'Voca'?
-Yes, and on 'dictis'.
-And that's it. Do you have it?
-You go fast!
-Do you have it?
-Yes.
-Do you want to rest a bit?
-Oh no. I'm not tired at all.
-We'll stop for just a moment. Then we'll do the Lacrimosa.
-I can keep going, I assure you. Shall we try?
-Would you stay with me while I sleep a little?
-I'm not leaving you.
-I am so ashamed.
-What for?
-Oh? Have I seen it?
-I - I don't think you have, Herr Director. Not yet. I mean, it's quite n - Of course, I'll show it to you immediately.
-You mean in Turkey?
-Exactly.
-Then why especially does it have to be in German?
-What you think, Mozart, is scarcely the point. It is what His Majesty thinks that counts.
-That will do, Herr Mozart!
-Mozart! Herr Mozart, may I have a word with you please. Right away.
-Did you not know that His Majesty has expressly forbidden ballet in his operas?
-Yes, but this is not a ballet. This is a dance at Figaro's wedding.
-Exactly. A dance.
-But surely the Emperor didn't mean to prohibit dancing when it's part of the story.
-What are you doing, Herr Director?
-Can we see the scene with the music back, please?
-What is this, Herr Chamberlain?
-What is what?
-Why do I have to submit samples of my work to some stupid committee? Just to teach a sixteen-year-old girl.
-Because His Majesty wishes it.
-Is the Emperor angry with me?
-On the contrary.
-Then why doesn't he simply appoint me to the post?
-Mozart, you are not the only composer in Vienna.
-No, but I'm the best.
-A little modesty would suit you better.
-Who is on this committee?
-Kapellmeister Bonno, Count Orsini- Rosenberg and Court Composer Salieri.
-Naturally, the Italians! Of course! Always the Italians!
-Mozart -
-They hate my music. It terrifies them. The only sound Italians understand is banality. Tonic and dominant, tonic and dominant, from here to Resurrection! Ba-ba! Ba-ba! Ba-ba! Ba-ba! Anything else is morbid.
-Mozart -
-Show them one interesting modulation and they faint. Ohime! Morbidezza! Morbidezza! Italians are musical idiots and you want them to judge my music!
-Look, young man, the issue is simple. If you want this post, you must submit your stuff in the same way as all your colleagues.
-Herr Mozart -
-I don't think it was really decided, Director.
-My dear fellow, the language is not finally the point. Do you really think that subject is quite appropriate for a national theatre?
-Well done, Mozart. Really quite fine.
-Mozart -
-Sire, only opera can do this. In a play, if more than one person speaks at the same time, it's just noise. No one can understand a word. But with music, with music you can have twenty individuals all talking at once, and it's not noise - it's a perfect harmony. Isn't that marvelous?
-Mozart, music is not the issue here. No one doubts your talent. It is your judgment of literature that's in question. Even with the politics taken out, this thing would still remain a vulgar farce. Why waste your spirit on such rubbish? Surely you can choose more elevated themes?
-Elevated? What does that mean? Elevated! The only thing a man should elevate is - oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm stupid. But I am fed up to the teeth with elevated things! Old dead legends! How can we go on forever writing about gods and legends?
-What do you want?
-I am Father Vogler. I am a Chaplain here. I thought you might like to talk to someone.
-About what?
-You tried to take your life. You do remember that, don't you?
-So?
-In the sight of God that is a sin.
-What do you want?
-Do you understand that you have sinned? Gravely.
-Leave me alone.
-I cannot leave alone a soul in pain.
-Do you know who I am? You never heard of me, did you?
-That makes no difference. All men are equal in God's eyes.
-Are they?
-Offer me your confession. I can offer you God's forgiveness.
-I do not seek forgiveness.
-My son, there is something dreadful on your soul. Unburden it to me. I'm here only for you. Please talk to me.
-How well are you trained in music?
-I know a little. I studied it in my youth.
-Where?
-Here in Vienna.
-I can't say I do. What is it?
-Well?
-I regret it is not too familiar.
-Oh, I know that! That's charming! I didn't know you wrote that.
-I didn't. That was Mozart. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. You know who that is?
-Of course. The man you accuse yourself of killing.
-Ah - you've heard that?
-All Vienna has heard that.
-And do they believe it?
-Is it true?
-Do you believe it?
-Do you hear me?
-It was incomprehensible. What was God up to? Here I was denying all my natural lust in order to deserve God's gift and there was Mozart indulging his in all directions - even though engaged to be married! - and no rebuke at all! Was it possible I was being tested? Was God expecting me to offer forgiveness in the face of every offense,
-Did you try?
-Yes, Father. Yes! So much for my vow of chastity. What did it matter? Good, patient, hard-working, chaste - what did it matter? Had goodness made me a good composer? I realized it absolutely then - that moment: goodness is nothing in the furnace of art. And I was nothing to God.
-You cannot say that!
-No? Was Mozart a good man?
-God's ways are not yours. And you are not here to question Him. Offer him the salt of penitence. He will give you back the bread of eternal life. He is all merciful. That is all you need to know.
-All I ever wanted was to sing to Him. That's His doing, isn't it? He gave me that longing - then made me mute. Why? Tell me that. If He didn't want me to serve Him with music, why implant the desire, like a lust in my body, then deny me the talent? Go on, tell me! Speak for Him!
-My son, no one can speak for God.
-Oh? I thought you did so every day. So speak now. Answer me!
-I do not claim to unravel the mysteries. I treasure them. As you should.
-What?
-His funeral - imagine it! The Cathedral, all Vienna sitting there. His coffin, Mozart's little coffin in the middle. And suddenly in that silence, music. A divine music bursts out over them all, a great Mass of Death: Requiem Mass for Wolfgang Mozart, composed by his devoted friend Antonio Salieri. What sublimity! What depth! What passion in the music! Salieri has been touched by
-Yes.
-Why? Why? Why? Why add to your misery by confessing to murder? You didn't kill him.
-I did.
-No, you didn't!
-I poisoned his life.
-But not his body.
-What difference does that make?
-My son, why should you want all Vienna to believe you a murderer? Is that your penance? Is it?
-No, Father. From now on no one will be able to speak of Mozart without thinking of me. Whenever they say Mozart with love, they'll have to say Salieri with loathing. And that's my immortality - at last! Our names will be tied together for eternity - his in fame and mine in infamy. At least it's better than the total oblivion he'd planned
-Oh my son, my poor son!
-I've just learned something that might be of interest to you, Herr Director.
-Yes?
-Mozart is writing a new opera. An Italian opera.
-You mean that play?
-Exactly.
-He's setting that play to music?
-Yes.
-Are you absolutely sure?
-I've seen the manuscript.
-Where?
-Well, Mozart is already rehearsing.
-Incredible.
-What anger?
-About the ballet.
-Ballet? What ballet?
-Excuse me - didn't His Majesty specifically forbid ballet in his opera?
-Yes, absolutely. Is there a ballet in Figaro?
-Bravo, Your Majesty!
-Well, actually, Sire, if you remember, we did finally incline to Italian.
-I know we banned this play, but frankly I can't remember why. Can you refresh my memory, Herr Director?
-For the same reason, Herr Chamberlain, that it was banned in France.
-Oh yes, yes. And that was?
-Well, the play makes a hero out of a valet. He outwits his noble master and exposes him as a lecher. Do you see the implications? This would be, in a grander situation, as if a Chamberlain were to expose an Emperor.
-Here I am, my angel.
-What? Who the devil are you?
-I've taken pity on you, my angel. I heard your wish.
-Now you've got to promise me faithfully you'll remain true to me forever. Then you'll see how tenderly your little birdie will love you.
-I can't wait.
-Well, promise then.
-What do you mean - now?
-Well, I don't know! I mean you're a delicious, delightful, delectable little bird, but don't you think you might be just a little tough?
-This is embarrassing, you know. You introduced Mozart to some of my friends and he's begging from practically all of them. It has to stop.
-I agree, Baron.
-Can't you think of anyone who might commission some work from him? I've done my best. I got him to arrange some Bach for my Sunday concerts. He got a fee - what I could afford. Can't you think of anyone who might do something for him?
-No, Baron, no. I'm afraid Mozart is a lost cause. He has managed to alienate practically the whole of Vienna. He is constantly drunk. He never pays his debts. I can't think of one person to whom I dare recommend him.
-How sad. It's tragic, isn't it? Such a talent.
-Excuse me, sir, there is a lady who insists on talking to you.
-Who is she?
-She didn't say. But she says it's urgent.
-That lady is back, sir.
-What does he want?
-He didn't say, sir. I told him I didn't know when you would be back, but he insisted on waiting.
-Herr Salieri.
-Yes, I am looking after him.
-Can we come in?
-Well, he's sleeping now. Better not.
-But he's all right?
-Oh, yes. He's just exhausted. He became dizzy, that's all. We should let him rest.
-Well, tell him we were here, won't you?
-Of course.
-And say everything went wonderfully. A triumph-de-luxe - say that! Tell him the audience shouted his name a hundred times.
-Bene.
-I'll call tomorrow.
-Oh, by the way, give him this. This is his share. That should cheer him up, eh?
-Has the patient in twenty-one gotten his tray yet?
-The American? Yes, duck.
-How did he look?
-What do you mean, 'how did he look'?
-You know, did he seem depressed? Do you think he'll eat the food?
-I'm an orderly, not a bleeding psychiatrist! I push things about, but I've little say what happens to them.
-Dr. Hirsch, Mr. Kessler cried out a minute ago.
-Can I be of service, Miss Price?
-Dr. Hirsch?
-Go about your duties.
-Oh, Miss Price?
-Yes, Doctor?
-What exactly did he call out?
-He said 'Jack'.
-That would be Jack Goodman, the boy who was killed.
-What happened to them?
-The police report said an escaped lunatic attacked them. He must have been a very powerful man. Although I really don't see that it is any of your concern, Miss Price.
-Did he say a wolf?
-It's all right, Susan. Yes, Doctor, I have.
-Oh dear girl, your extracurricular activities are of no consequence to me. I don't give a damn who you sleep with. I'm concerned about David.
-Yes, sir.
-It's a full moon. Where is he?
-He's not?
-Alex, has David persisted in his werewolf fantasies?
-Well, yes, but he seems to be more upset by the death of his friend.
-Has his friend appeared to him again?
-Yes.
-What did he say?
-David says Jack comes to warn him.
-Warn him?
-Dr. Hirsch, what's wrong? Is this more serious than I know?
-I tried to investigate the attack. There are no records. The case was closed and now they've 'misplaced' the file. David's lacerations were cleaned and dressed when he arrived here and yet supposedly no doctor examined him before I did. The Goodman boy is already in the ground so he's no good to us. So I went to the pub in East Proctor where
-Yes.
-They were lying. There were no witnesses, no escaped lunatic. The whole community is hiding the truth of what actually happened up there.
-And what else?
-You've absolutely no idea where David might be?
-Surely you're not suggesting...
-David has suffered a severe trauma. I myself witnessed some form of mass neurosis in East Proctor. If all the villagers believe that Jack Goodman was killed by a werewolf, why shouldn't David? And then it follows that if he survived an attack by a werewolf, wouldn't he himself become a werewolf the next full moon?
-Dr. Hirsch?
-Oh, I don't mean running about on all fours and howling at the moon. But in such a deranged state he could harm himself, or perhaps others.
-What shall we do?
-He's here.
-Is he all right? Why didn't you call me? Where was he?
-He doesn't remember. He woke up at the zoo.
-The zoo? Is he rational?
-Yes, he is. He's very excited and confused, but he's not crazy, if that's what you mean.
-Have you read the papers today? Have you listened to the radio or television?
-No, why?
-Is David acting strangely?
-Could you get here without any trouble?
-Yes, I should think so.
-Right. Now listen carefully. I want you to bring David here. I want him in my care. I'll notify the police that we've found him. It is imperative that you bring him straight to the hospital. Do you understand?
-Yes, Doctor.
-You're certain he's lucid? You won't need any help?
-He's fine. We'll come right over.
-Shall I send a car?
-No, a cab will be faster.
-What shall we do?
-Nurse Hobbs said there's a disturbance in Leicester Square involving some sort of mad dog.
-David?
-It wasn't a lunatic.
-I beg your pardon?
-It was a wolf.
-What?
-Mr. Kessler?
-Yes?
-You haven't eaten your lunch.
-I'm not very hungry, thank you.
-I'm afraid you have to eat something.
-Please, really. I'm not hungry.
-You put me in an awkward position, Mr. Kessler.
-How is that?
-Well, you're to take these after you've eaten. Now what kind of nurse would I be if I failed in so simple a task as giving out some pills?
-Leave the pills. I'll take them later.
-Aw come on, Miss Price!
-Call me Alex.
-Aw come on, Alex!
-Call me David.
-Shall I be forced to feed you, David?
-This is absurd. I'm not hungry. I don't want any food.
-Let's try a little harder, shall we?
-You're a very beautiful girl.
-I thought you were asleep.
-I was. What are you reading?
-'A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court' by Mark Twain.
-Do you like it?
-What do you dream about?
-I dream of death mostly.
-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you.
-How old are you?
-That's not really a very proper question.
-How old are you?
-Twenty-eight.
-I'm twenty-seven.
-I know.
-Now what do you want to talk about?
-Was Jack Goodman your good friend?
-My best friend. My very best friend.
-Shall I read to you?
-What? Oh, yes, please.
-A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Samuel L. Clemens. This is after the preface but before chapter one: A Word of Explanation. You all right?
-Yes, go on.
-Hello. You all right?
-I'm sorry I woke you up.
-Don't be silly. Can I get you something?
-No, thank you. Just keep me company for a while.
-That's easy enough.
-I keep having these really terrible dreams. They are getting worse and I can't seem to stop them.
-David, your dreams will stop. You'll leave England and your bad memories; and then this will all fade away.
-Will you come with me?
-What?
-I'm serious. You don't know me and I know nothing about you. We have a perfect relationship.
-Now, David, I said I would keep you company, but I meant right here and now.
-Will you think about it?
-How did we get from your bad dreams to my taking a holiday with a patient?
-Not just a patient -- me.
-You're being awfully forward, aren't you?
-Forgive me, I'm trying to cheer myself up and an affair with a beautiful nurse seemed like just the thing to do it.
-All I am to you is a sex fantasy then?
-Now I'm embarrassed.
-I'm a werewolf.
-Are you better now?
-I'll let you know the next full moon.
-My friend Jack was just here.
-Your dead friend Jack?
-Yeah. He says that I will become a monster in two days. What do you think?
-What do I think? You mean about the possibility of your becoming a monster in two days or about visits from dead friends?
-I was dreaming again?
-I would think so.
-The kitchen.
-Closet.
-Charming.
-Bathroom.
-Lovely.
-The bedroom.
-There is only one bed.
-It's nice to see you.
-Alex?
-Yes?
-Will you be here in about fifteen minutes?
-Of course.
-David, you don't honestly believe that in reality your friend Jack rose from the grave to breakfast with you? Do you really?
-I was awake and he was in my room.
-But, David.
-Tomorrow is the full moon.
-Let me go now, you'll make me late.
-Do me an enormous favor?
-Anything.
-Tell me that it's silly of me to be apprehensive.
-It's silly of you to be apprehensive.
-Werewolves simply do not exist.
-David, do you want me to stay here tonight?
-Listen, if you get too anxious, call me at the hospital, okay?
-Okay.
-I've left those pills for you.
-I'm off. There's food in the fridge.
-David! Where on earth have you been!?!
-Alex, I've lost my mind. I woke up at the zoo! But you know what? I feel terrific!
-The zoo?
-Waking up at the zoo, that's not so insane. Having no clothes on? That's insane. What did I do last night, Alex?
-Don't you remember?
-The next corner we can get a cab.
-I should be committed.
-Dr. Hirsch will know what to do.
-But...
-David, what are you doing?
-Six people mutilated? It had to be me, Alex.
-I am going to the cops. There's a full moon tonight. Jack was right. I...
-Jack is dead!
-David, please be rational. Let's go to Dr. Hirsch.
-He's playing a stupid joke, sir.
-What?
-We had an argument. He's being silly.
-Sir, he's very upset. His friend was killed and...
-Hopeless. It's hopeless.
-Leave me alone, dammit! You people are crazy! I've got to get away from here! I've got to do something!
-David, don't lose control.
-Hello, Benjamin.
-No.
-No what?
-No.
-Well, all right then, be that way. Here, swallow this.
-Feeling better?
-No.
-The doctor will be round later. Would you like a picture book to look at? We have some lovely funny Beanos.
-No.
-How are we feeling tonight?
-No.
-No what?
-No!
-Benjamin, have you ever been severely beaten about the face and neck?
-No.
-He all right?
-Yes, I should think. He called out just now.
-He's an American, you know. Dr. Hirsch is going to fetch round one of those Embassy fellows to see him.
-Chart says he's from New York.
-I think he's a Jew.
-Why on earth do you say that?
-I looked.
-Miss Price.
-Yes, Mrs. Hobbs.
-Take these round now, will you please? The American boy in twenty-one is only to have these after he's eaten. Will you be sure of that?
-Has he been refusing food?
-Nothing quite as dramatic as that, Miss Price. He just doesn't eat enough of what is put before him. He suffers from nightmares. I'd think he just needs a hand to hold.
-Officer, I killed those people last night.
-All right, you two, move along.
-Hey, you asshole! I want you to arrest me!
-There's no call for that kind of language.
-Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot! Winston Churchill was full of shit!
-Now see here young man.
-Who is this girl?
-You're going to have to stop this disturbance or I shall arrest you.
-Why are you doing this to me, Jack?
-This isn't Mr. Goodman's idea. He is your good friend, whereas I am a victim of your carnivorous lunar activities.
-Mr. Bringsly, I'm sorry. I have absolutely no idea what to say to you.
-That's easy for you to say - you're already dead.
-No, David. Harry and I and everyone you murder are not dead. The undead.
-Here, Gladys, Tom. Did you hear the one about the crashing plane?
-You be quiet, woman, and let me speak.
-All right, laugh then. I shan't tell it.
-Oh, come on, tell us.
-Oh, all right. There was this airplane over the Atlantic on its way to New York. It was full of men from the United Nations.
-No one brought them here! No one wanted them here!
-Mr. Kessler? Wake up, please.
-Now go back to sleep so you'll be fresh for Dr. Hirsch in the morning.
-What time is it?
-It's nearly eight. I'm off duty shortly, then I'm off to the films with Alex.
-Alex?
-Miss Price, the other nurse that attended you.
-What are you going to see?
-An American film about the Mafia called 'See You Next Wednesday', and I want to see it badly, so you give me no problems and go to sleep.
-Do you have bad dreams, too?
-Some, everyone does.
-Yes, but does everyone kill Bambi?
-Hello, David. I am Dr. Hirsch and this is a countryman of yours, Mr. Collins.
-Where am I?
-You're in a hospital in London.
-London? Where's Jack? I had a strange dream.
-I should think so after your recent traumatic experiences.
-The guy I was with. Is he all right? How did I get to London?
-Miss Price! Miss Price, please!
-How long have I been here?
-You've been unconscious since you were brought in two weeks ago.
-Two weeks?
-You've suffered some rather severe cuts and bruises, lost a bit of blood, but nothing too serious; black and blue for a while. You'll have some dueling scars to boast of. That lunatic must have been a very fierce fellow. They say a mad man has the strength of ten.
-Lunatic?
-There were witnesses?
-So they said.
-How could there have been witnesses? It was so dark. We were running and I fell and Jack went to help me up and this thing came from nowhere... I don't understand what they're talking about.
-In time I'm sure it will all come back to you.
-You've never had bad dreams before?
-Did you get a good look at the man who attacked you?
-I've told you, it wasn't a man. It was an animal. A big wolf or something. A rabid dog.
-Yes.
-Look, Dr. Hirsch, I know I've been traumatized, but Jack was torn apart. I saw him. A man can't do that to someone with his bare hands.
-You'd be surprised what horrors a man is capable of.
-Did you see Jack?
-No. In fact, your wounds were cleaned and dressed before you arrived here.
-Did you talk to the police in East Proctor? Did the cops go to The Slaughtered Lamb?
-I really don't know.
-Then why the hell are you so quick to disbelieve me? You yourself said it must have taken incredible strength to tear apart a person like that.
-David, please. The police are satisfied. I'm certain that if a monster were out roaming northern England we'd have seen it on the telly.
-You really think I'm crazy, don't you?
-Dr. Hirsch? I'd rather not be by myself.
-Are you cold?
-Yes.
-Jack.
-David.
-You're not having a good time are you?
-Well, I like it here.
-I'm sorry. Northern England first, Italy later.
-Do you think she'll meet me in Rome?
-I think Debbie Klein is a mediocre person with a good body.
-Debbie is not mediocre and she has one of the great bodies of all time.
-She's a jerk.
-You're talking about the woman I love.
-I'm talking about a girl you want to fuck, so give me a break.
-Well, anyway, do you think she'll be there?
-I don't know.
-Rendezvous in Rome starring Jack Goodman and Debbie Klein. The love affair that shocked Europe! See torrid lovemaking at its most explicit! See Jack and Debbie expose their lust in the sacred halls of the Vatican! Never has the screen dared...
-If you don't stop, I'm going to kill you.
-I have to make love to her. It's very simple. She has no choice really.
-It just fascinates me that you can spend so much energy on someone so dull.
-It is impossible for a body like that to be dull.
-We've known Debbie what, since the eighth grade? How many years of foreplay is that?
-The Slaughtered Lamb?
-Of course, The Slaughtered Lamb. Why else would they have a severed fox head on a spear as their symbol?
-That's a wolf's head.
-Of course, The Slaughtered Lamb. Why else would they have a severed wolf's head on a spear as their symbol?
-That's not a spear. It's a pike.
-A severed wolf's head on a pike as their symbol.
-David, before we go in there I want you to know that - no matter what happens to us - it's your fault.
-I assume full responsibility.
-Okay.
-Hello.
-Nice looking group.
-Listen, at least it's warm in here.
-What about it?
-It's a five-pointed star.
-Ask them what the candles are for.
-You ask them.
-Listen, that's a pentangle, a five- pointed star. It's used in witchcraft. Lon Chaney, Jr. and Universal Studios maintain it's the mark of the wolf man.
-I see. You want me to ask these people if they're burning candles to ward off monsters.
-Right.
-Go on, ask them.
-Jack, we'd better go.
-Come on, Jack, shall we go?!!
-What the hell was that all about?
-I don't know. Let's see if there's an inn or something up the road.
-Beware the moon?
-That was weird. I guess leaving was the best idea.
-I don't know. Now that we're out here and it's three degrees, I'm not so sure I wouldn't rather face a blood-thirsty mob.
-What do you think was wrong?
-I have no idea.
-Maybe that pentangle was for something supernatural.
-Say, David...
-Did you hear that?
-I heard that.
-Could be a lot of things.
-Yeah?
-A coyote.
-There aren't any coyotes in England.
-The Hound of the Baskervilles.
-Pecos Bill.
-Heathcliffe.
-Heathcliffe didn't howl.
-No, but he was on the moors.
-I vote we go back to The Slaughtered Lamb.
-Shit! David, what is that?
-I don't know. Come on.
-Come on, where?
-It's moving.
-What's the plan?
-Plan?
-It's in front of us.
-Oh shit. What is that?
-Nice doggie. Good boy.
-Walk away, Jack.
-See anything?
-It sounds far away.
-Jack?
-Yeah.
-Where are we going?
-I'll tell you when we get there.
-You really scared me, you shithead.
-Nice to see you.
-Get the fuck out of here, Jack.
-Thanks a lot.
-This is too much. I can't handle this.
-David! You're hurting my feelings.
-Hurting your feelings? Has it occurred to you that it may be unsettling to have you rise from your grave to visit me? Listen to me, I'm talking to a hamburger!
-I'm sorry to be upsetting you, David, but I had to come.
-Aren't you supposed to be buried in New York someplace?
-Yeah. Your parents came to my funeral. I was surprised at how many people came.
-Why should you be surprised? You were a very well-liked person.
-Debbie Klein cried a lot.
-I can't stand it.
-So you know what she does? She's so grief stricken she runs to find solace in Rudy Levine's bed.
-Rudy Levine the shmuck?
-I'm going completely crazy.
-David!
-What?!
-David, now I know this may be hard for you, but I have to warn you.
-Warn me? Will you get out of here, you meat loaf?
-I'm a grisly sight, it's true; but I love you and that's why I'm here. You've got to know.
-If you love me so much, Jack, you'll realize how disconcerting it is to share one's breakfast with the living dead!
-We were attacked by a werewolf.
-I'm not listening!
-On the moors, we were attacked by a lycanthrope, a werewolf.
-Shut up, you zombie!
-I was murdered, an unnatural death, and now I walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf's curse is lifted.
-What's wrong with you? Shut up!
-The wolf's bloodline must be severed. The last remaining werewolf must be destroyed.
-It's you, David.
-What?!
-You survived and now you shall continue the curse.
-What are you talking about? I won't accept this! Get out! God damit!
-Remember what that guy at The Slaughtered Lamb said? 'Beware the moon.'
-Stop it, Jack.
-Beware the moon. The full moon, David. You've got two days.
-Jack, please go away. Please go away.
-You'll stalk the streets of London a creature of the night.
-You're talking like Boris Karloff! It's movie dialogue!
-David, please believe me. You will kill people, David. You've got to stop the bloodshed before it begins.
-Nurse!
-Listen to me! Take your own life, David. It's our only chance.
-Nurse!
-The supernatural! The powers of darkness! It's all true. Take your own life! Suicide, David. Join me.
-Nurse! Oh God! Alex!
-You're not real.
-What are you doing here?
-I wanted to see you.
-Okay, you've seen me. Now go away.
-David, I'm sorry I upset you yesterday, but you must understand what is going on.
-I understand all right. You're one of the undead and I'm a werewolf.
-Yes.
-Get out of here, Jack!
-David, tomorrow night is the full moon. You'll change, you'll become...
-A monster. I know, I know.
-You must take your own life now, David, before it's too late.
-Jack, are you really dead?
-What do you think?
-I think I've lost my mind. I think you're not real. I think I'm asleep and you're a part of another bad dream.
-You must believe me.
-What, Jack? That tomorrow night beneath the full moon I'll sprout hair and fangs and eat people? Bullshit!
-The canines will be real. You'll taste real blood! God damit, David, please believe me! You'll kill and make others like me! I'm not having a nice time, David! Don't allow this to happen again! You must take your own life!
-Hi, Jack.
-What can I say, Jack?
-You don't have to say anything.
-Aren't you going to say, 'I told you so'?
-If I was still alive, I probably would.
-You look awful.
-Thank you.
-I didn't mean it. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm not even sure it was me who killed those people. I don't remember doing it.
-What about the zoo?
-Well, even if I'm not the wolfman, I am crazy enough to do something like that. I mean, here I sit in Leicester Square talking to a corpse. I'm glad to see you, Jack.
-David Kessler, this is Gerald Bringsly.
-Hello.
-Because this must be stopped.
-I could hang myself.
-Dr. Hirsch?
-No, thank you, Doctor.
-You were saying?
-Has David Kessler anything to say concerning the attack on the moors?
-The forensic lads seem to feel that some sort of animal was involved, that's true, but I hardly think...
-What can we do to assist you?
-Yes?
-Lt. Villiers and Sgt. McManus are here to see you, Doctor.
-Excuse me. Yes?
-Roger Mathison, Doctor.
-What here?
-He's on the telephone.
-Hello, there. What can I get you?
-Campari and soda would do nicely.
-Sorry, love.
-What's that?
-Oh, that's been there for two hundred years. We were going to paint it out, but it's traditional, so we left it.
-Do you have any hot soup?
-Hot chocolate?
-We've got spirits and beer. If it's something hot you want, you can have tea.
-Then you have some hot tea?
-No.
-Oh.
-Remember the Alamo?
-No, thank you.
-Sorry.
-He may have a point, Lieutenant. Two strong boys would be able to defend themselves against one man.
-Sgt. McManus, are you suggesting that David and Jack were, in fact, attacked by some animal and that the officialdom of East Proctor has conspired to keep it a secret? We have an autopsy report on the murderer who was shot in the act by the local police. We have two witnesses to the crime. You'll forgive me, Mr. Kessler, if I consider your
-Lieutenant, the boy seems pretty lucid to me and...
-And what, Sergeant?
-I don't rightly know, sir.
-I cannot accept a connection between David Kessler and last night's murders. We will find him, however. I can assure you of that.
-Hello, Tom.
-What do you suppose anybody wants? Money, money, money!
-Listen, I told you I wasn't interested in that deal, didn't I?
-Tom, I never had trouble getting credit from you before. When I was flat broke you gave me all the money I wanted. Now I come to you with a swell deal, and the greatest—
-I'll tell you why. I don't like the crowd you're mixed up with. Personally, you can have all the credit you want. But for that deal - not a cent.
-What's the idea of turning her down? It sounds like a perfectly safe investment.
-She's a widow. I don't like taking mortgages from widows.
-If she can't pay, I'll have to foreclose, won't I?
-Yes - sure—
-Oscar, what's the matter?
-I was the first one to see it. I was coming down the stairs, and there was the watchman lying dead at my feet.
-No kidding?
-No kidding. When I saw it, you could'a knocked me over with a pin.
-Where's Matt?
-Matt?
-Yeah. He'll have a tough time thinking up a wise-crack for this one . . .
-The detectives got Matt up there in Sampson's office.
-He has?
-Say Matt, I'll have to have some money for those Manville payrolls.
-How much?
-About twenty-four thousand.
-It was more than that last week.
-Yeah.
-Say, do me a favor, will you Charlie?
-Yeah.
-Let me have ten bucks?
-Ten bucks? Say, if I had ten bucks, I'd quit.
-Charlie!
-I'll pay it back to you Saturday - on the level I will. Give a guy a break, will you? I've got to get it back in my account. If Helen ever finds out that I—
-Whose death?
-It'll be yours if you don't kick in with that ten bucks.
-Say pal, did you ever hear of a Depression?
-Where you been?
-What's the matter, Charlie?
-I'm fourteen cents out, and it took me half an hour to find the mistake. And me with a date, too.
-I remember once when your account checked.
-And listen, wise guy - I'm setting friend time clock for exactly nine o'clock, so no squawks out of you guys in the morning.
-Mr. Dickson in yet?
-Not yet, Mr. Clark.
-When he comes in, tell him we're waiting for him in the board room.
-Yes, sir.
-And tell him not to delay.
-Personally, I think you're getting panic-stricken about nothing. Dickson's all right.
-Don't make me laugh, Schultz!
-Dickson doesn't have to go. But he must agree to this merger with New York Trust—
-What good will that do?
-How are you protecting your depositors? By making a lot of idiotic loans!
-You know Dickson as well as we do. He'll shut the doors before he gives up control.
-Say, you know, I found out something yesterday about hitting a golf ball. You've got to hit with the left hand, and from the inside out, it's the only way you can hit anything—
-I think, Mr. Dickson, we would like to have a little of your very valuable time here at the bank this morning, if you don't mind.
-What's the matter with my policy? How many losses has this bank taken in the last twenty-five years? I'll tell you. Not a single one! What's wrong with that kind of banking?
-Character, hmmpf! That's your idea?
-Most of the creditors I know personally. I've seen them grow up in the community. I knew their fathers and mothers before them.
-I'm running this bank my way. Get that clear!
-Gentlemen, you notice Mr. Dickson refuses to consider our wishes. He refuses an offer to merge with the New York Trust - the only thing that will put this bank on safe ground. He insists upon running a bank on so flimsy a thing as . . . as faith!
-We want to talk to you.
-What about?
-We'll be forced to shut the doors. I've worked twenty-five years night and day to keep this bank alive. You've all made money out of it. Are you willing to help?
-What do you mean, help?
-I know that among you, you have at least a million dollars in various banks throughout the city. Get that money over here and I'll stop this run within five minutes.
-That sounds very simple, Dickson, but why should we jeopardize our personal fortunes?
-The depositors you were protecting were the first ones to pounce on you. You thought they were your friends. Why don't you go out there now and try and get some help from them?
-Aw, they've gone crazy. You can't reason with a mob.
-No. You can't reason with anyone else when you're in a jam. We pleaded with you to keep liquid, but you wouldn't listen to us. You preached to us about faith and a lot of other rubbish. Now you want our help. You want us to throw a lot of cash into a bank that you've wrecked. All right. There's one way you can
-Say, you can't do that—
-Dickson, I'd like to talk to you about the bank.
-Come out here you pawnbrokers - take a look at this!
-We've been waiting fifteen minutes—
-I hope you don't mind me asking you a few questions, Mr. Cluett.
-Of course, yes. Just what would you like to know, Inspector?
-Where were you at twelve o'clock last night?
-That is simple, isn't it? I assume you can prove that if necessary.
-Oh yes, of course. There was someone with me. A lady.
-Looks like you're going to have no trouble at all. What was the lady's name, Mr. Cluett?
-If you don't mind, Inspector, I'd rather not say - that is, unless it becomes absolutely essential. You see, she's married.
-Oh!
-You understand?
-Thanks.
-Somebody must be in good humor. He was humming "Mother Machree."
-Stand back Inspector, or I'll shoot. Drop that gun.
-Don't be a fool, Cluett. This is only going to make it worse for you.
-What were you doing at Finlay's this morning?
-I was crazy, I tell you, Mr. Dickson. I didn't know what I was doing. I wandered around in a daze. All I could think of was that they were going to kill me . . . You'll stand by me, won't you, Mr. Dickson? You won't go back on me now, will you? I'll die if they send me to prison!
-Don't forget there's a dead watchman downstairs.
-I didn't kill him! I had nothing to do with that, I tell you! I was home in my apartment last night - I can prove it!
-Claims he was there with a married woman. Doesn't want to mention her name.
-Confessed! Cluett, in heaven's name, what got into you?
-I don't know. It's all been like a crazy nightmare, Mr. Dickson.
-What happened? You're not a thief. How'd you get mixed up with these kind of people?
-Gambling - I owed them a lot of money. Last week I lost over fifty thousand dollars!
-Fifty thousand dollars!
-What was my wife doing in your apartment last night?
-Nothing, nothing, Mr. Dickson. Don't pay any attention to me. I don't know what I'm saying.
-You just mentioned her name. What was she doing there? What was she doing in your apartment?
-She wasn't to blame, Mr. Dickson. It wasn't her fault. Honest, it wasn't. I begged her to come up. She didn't—
-You know what we do to welchers, Cluett, don't you?
-I know, I know, Dude. Oh, I must have been crazy! I lost my head completely!
-That's your funeral. We've got fifty thousand dollars comin' to us.
-Then what did you want to gamble for? If you'd have beat us out of fifty G's, you'd have been paid, wouldn't you? Well, we want our dough.
-I'm sorry, Dude, but—I—
-That don't do us any good.
-But after all, you can't take blood from a stone.
-Good heavens, man! You're not suggesting that I—
-Why not?
-Why, I couldn't do that . . . !
-What do you mean?
-Dude - there's not any chance of my becoming involved in this, is there?
-You? No, you'll be all right, so long as you establish an alibi for tonight.
-know, but—
-Be sure you're with somebody responsible in case any questions are asked. Understand?
-But Dude, listen - couldn't we make this some other time?
-This won't do. Not during business hours . . .
-What is the matter with you? You're trembling?
-Am I? Why, I - I don't know any reason why I should be, unless of course it's you . . .
-Me?
-Being alone with you has always done this to me. You know that.
-For a celebrated bounder, that is an awful admission. Besides, I never knew that any female could do this to you .
-Well, you can. You always could.
-Here, here, here, now! Don't you go back to work on me, too. I'm getting tired of this. Besides, it's beginning to affect your looks—
-What is?
-—running around. Not your work. You'd better start reforming, Cyril!
-If I thought you were the slightest bit interested, I would.
-Not bad, not bad at all. Do you know something? I've always been curious about your line.
-Line?
-Come on Cyril, try a little bit of it out on me. I haven't had any first-class blarney thrown at me since the day I was married.
-But you see, it isn't blarney where you're concerned.
-Doesn't that come next?
-Yes, yes, it does. What are you doing tonight, Phyllis?
-Oh! Oh, no! I think I've done enough experimenting for one day. Congratulations, Cyril. You've convinced me that you're a philanderer of the very first order. I shall recommend you highly.
-But I'm giving a party for him - a real, old-fashioned surprise party. Caps, bells, whistles, and everything. I'm really terribly excited about it. I've been planning it for months.
-Well—
-Well, what?
-Well, aren't you going to invite me?
-You? No can do. It's all set. Just a few of Tom's closest friends.
-Now Phyllis, if you don't invite me, I'm coming anyway.
-Don't be silly, Cyril. These are respectable people. They'd probably bore you to death.
-No, they won't. Not when you are there. Oh, please, be a sport. Please ask me.
-Why are you so anxious?
-Don't you know?
-No.
-What?
-Don't you know I've been crazy about you for years?
-Now wait a minute, wait a minute...
-I've loved you ever since I can remember, long before you married Tom Dickson.
-Why, Cyril, you're insane—
-No. No, I'm not. I deliberately avoided you. I was afraid of making a fool of myself. But I won't stand it any longer—
-What's this?
-My apartment.
-I knew I couldn't trust you. You told me you were taking me home.
-Come on up for just a few minutes. We'll have just one drink, then we'll go.
-No. I know the answer to that one. I think you'd better take me home.
-What's the matter? Afraid papa will spank?
-No. No, I'm afraid papa isn't that much interested. He's too busy rushing off to Philadelphia to make stuffy, old speeches at stuffy, old bankers' meetings. Too busy closing big, important deals— I think I will have a drink.
-You know, there ought to be a Congressional Medal for men like you. America's comfort to misunderstood wives. I never thought I would find myself in that class.
-Oh, you're not so badly off. There's something much worse than being a misunderstood wife.
-What is that, Mr. Bones?[7]
-And now fair woman, I have you in my power.
-I'm not afraid of you. You haven't got a moustache!
-Why, Matt!
-Are the payrolls ready for tomorrow?
-Yes, sir.
-Let me see your cash book, will you?
-Now?
-The butler said I could stay. I told him it was important.
-Well, I thought I'd like to have a little talk with you.
-I'm listening.
-Anything you have to say to me, you can say in the morning.
-I'm not interested in what you think.
-You've no right to do this to her, Mr. Cluett. Why don't you think it over? It's only gonna get you into a lot of trouble.
-I tell you, I'm not interested in your opinion.
-Phyllis, you don't have to explain anything. You'd do well to mind your own business.
-This is my business. Mr. Dickson's been like a father to me. What has he ever done to you to deserve a deal like this?
-That will be just about enough! Now get out of here!
-Good morning, Mr. Dickson.
-John, how's your wife this morning?
-Much better this morning, thank you.
-Excuse me—
-Wait a minute. How do you feel this morning?
-I'm feeling fine this morning.
-That makes it unanimous. I feel all right too.
-Shall we let the people come in?
-Good morning, Mr. Dickson. My wife is much better this morning.
-Well, look who's here! Hello, dear.
-If this isn't a red-letter day for Tom Dickson! First I trample on the Board of Directors, then I promote Matt here to assistant cashier, and now to complete the day I have a visit from my sweet and lovely and gorgeous wife. What a man, what a man!
-It's amazing that your sweet, lovely, gorgeous wife can ever get to see you.
-What's the matter dear? What have I done now?
-Nothing. Tom, I thought you were going out with me tonight.
-Oh, I did have a date with you tonight, didn't I?
-Yes.
-Now Tom, you simply cannot go to Philadelphia tonight. That's all there is to it.
-But I have to go, dear. It's a very important banker's meeting.
-I don't care whether it's important or not. You said you were going out with me, and if you hadn't promised so faithfully, I wouldn't have gone and planned the whole thing.
-Listen, it isn't so terribly important. We can go to the theatre any time.
-The theatre?
-That's what it was you planned, wasn't it?
-Yes, of course.
-You can take some of the girls. You can take Mildred - or Gwynn—
-Ho! Ho! Ho!
-Ho, ho, ho, yourself! I wouldn't laugh if I were you. You may not suspect it, but I'm still attractive - to some.
-Listen, don't go around being attractive to anyone but me . . .
-Well . . .
-Don't you forget that I'm still the head man around here too. Now we'll get the tickets changed for tomorrow night. You and I are going out together. How's that?
-All right. I'll postpone the whole thing until tomorrow night.
-Happy now?
-Listen, dear. I want to ask you something. I know it's a silly thing for me to ask you, but . . . I want you to tell me the truth. Where were you last night?
-Last night? Er - why - uh, last night . . .
-Listen, dear. Now tell me the truth about this. Were you in Cluett's apartment?
-Good morning.
-Helen, you're becoming more beautiful every day. What are we going to do about it?
-I don't know.
-Guess we'll just have to sacrifice the bank. When are you and Matt going to get married?
-Why - well, I—
-Ummm. Stalling, eh? Anything new?
-Why, the directors are waiting for you in the board room.
-Longer.
-Helen, tell Matt I want to see him.
-Oh, Mr. Dickson - they're going to arrest Matt. They think he did it!
-Where is he now?
-In Mr. Sampson's office.
-Come on in here, Helen. Bring your book. I want some numbers to try to get some action. Get Parker at the Union-Leeds - the Exchange . . . Winslow and old man Harris at the Home Mortgage. Snap into it, Helen. Just as quick as you can.
-You want the rest of those numbers, Mr. Dickson?
-Good morning, Helen.
-Good morning.
-Oh!
-Yes?
-Helen, I'm going to Philadelphia, just as soon as the bank closes. Make all the arrangements, will you?
-Yes?
-Mr. Sampson . . .
-Helen!
-Yes?
-Good morning, Mrs. Pembroke.
-Good morning, Mr. Dickson.
-Got my letter?
-Yes, thank you.
-Mr. Dickson?
-But, Mr. Dickson, I thought you were going to take care of the mortgage. I only want ten thousand. The property is worth sixty.
-Wait a minute. Where's your uniform?
-I haven't any.
-You haven't got a uniform?
-No, sir.
-My goodness, you ought to have a uniform. How much does one cost?
-Why, I don't know.
-Oh, make that uniform blue.
-Well, well, well - got your uniform, eh?
-Yes, sir.
-Looks good. How much did it cost?
-It's all right. Thanks.
-What's the matter? You don't seem very excited about it.
-Sure, I think it's swell.
-Aw, I'm sorry, Mr. Dickson. It's just kind of sudden, that's all. Sure, I'm excited. I think it's great. Only, well, you've done so much for me already . . . I'll never be able to thank you enough.
-Aw, go on, forget it. You came through, didn't you? That's all I wanted. A lot of them didn't think you would. You don't know how much satisfaction it's been to me. It's been swell. Well, when are you and Helen going to get married?
-Well, I—
-I already told him I was home.
-Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Matt, do you realize you're up against something? You're being charged with murder. It's serious, son. Now come on, I know you didn't do it. But we've got to make them believe it. Come on, tell the truth, where were you last night?
-No. I won't.
-You're protecting somebody.
-No, I'm not Mr. Dickson!
-We haven't got much time left, Mr. Dickson. We've got to do something quick or it'll be too late.
-Why wouldn't you tell me where you were last night?
-You're not giving up, are you, Mr. Dickson?
-Were you in Cluett's apartment?
-Oh, I can explain about that later. You're losing your bank - don't you realize what that means?
-Was Mrs. Dickson there?
-Listen, Mr. Dickson, don't let them lick you just because a couple of big shots turned you down. You've got more friends than anybody in this town. Little guys - guys who wouldn't be in business if it weren't for you. All you've got to do is—
-Wait a minute. Answer my question. Was Mrs. Dickson there?
-Well . . . uh . . . I . . .
-She was, wasn't she? How long has this been going on? Do you know?
-Aw, I don't know what you're talking about. All I know is that you're losing your bank and—
-I want you both to take the day off. Go downtown and get a license and get married right away!
-But I haven't . . .
-Helen, while you're downtown, you might stop in and make reservations for the bridal suite on the Berengaria sailing next week.
-What's the matter? What's going on here? This is ridiculous! You can't hold this boy on a vague suspicion.
-I'm afraid I must, Mr. Dickson.
-Why pick on him ?
-It's an inside job. That's a cinch. Whoever did it had a pretty good picture of the layout. Now Brown, here, is in charge of the vaults, isn't he?
-What time did this thing happen?
-The clock opposite the vault was stopped by a bullet at 12:09.
-All right. If the boy proves an alibi, he's all right, isn't he?
-If he can do it, yes.
-That's what he says. I got a man from headquarters checking up on it now.
-All I know is the bank's been robbed and a murder's been committed. The way I see it, Brown here looks guilty.
-What are you talking about? He had no more to do with it than you did.
-Maybe. But I'm taking no chances. Why, this kid's got a record.
-Of course it's true - and he knows it.
-You were right, Mr. Dickson! Brown didn't have anything to do with it. Here's your man.
-Why, you must be crazy. I've known this man for years.
-My wife? What's she got to do with you?
-You're lying!
-Don't worry, Mr. Dickson. We'll find out whether he's telling the truth. I'll have a man from headquarters check up on it right away.
-Well, Sampson, what is it?
-Good. I'll take this along with me. Tell Clyde I'll see him tomorrow. I'm sick and tired of the delay.
-I'm afraid he's been stalling.
-That's just exactly what he has been doing. This deal should have been closed weeks ago. Tell him to keep tomorrow open . . .
-He says he can't get away in the daytime.
-How about his nights? He's too busy running around. Tell him to keep tomorrow night open, come in and sign this thing, or I'll call this whole deal off.
-The lobby's half filled now.
-They've been coming in steady all morning. I have called for some extra police.
-All right. Send down to the vaults and have our reserve cash sent up here right away.
-The bank's reputation wouldn't be worth a nickel after that. This is just a flurry, that's all. They've heard about the robbery and got panic-stricken. Listen, get a hold of our available securities and have them turned into cash. Wait a minute. Get my personal stuff and have that turned into cash too. Tell the boys anyone caught arguing with a depositor will be
-Look at them, Mr. Dickson. They're going crazy.
-Did you get the case for the securities?
-Yes, sir.
-Mine too?
-The fools! If they only knew it, they're making things worse for themselves. Somebody starts a silly rumor, and they lose their heads.
-What'll we do?
-We can't keep open till four o'clock. We haven't cash enough to last an hour.
-Mr. Dickson! Mr. Dickson!
-Get all the big bills in the place. Take them out and get them changed. Get nothing but ones and fives. Distribute them among the tellers. Tell them to take their time. Stall as much as possible. Count and recount the money.
-Yes, sir.
-Yes, ma'am, you can deposit your money here.
-Is it safe?
-Absolutely.
-Quiet down, please! Take it easy, folks. Everything will be all right.
-But you said it would be safe! It's his life insurance money. Oh, please, I'll go to the Old Ladies' Home if you don't do something, please!
-How-do-you-do, Mrs. Dickson.
-Is that busy husband of mine busy?
-He's at a board meeting.
-Board meeting. Oh, that means hours, I suppose.
-I'm afraid so.
-Helen, did you ever try competing with a bank?
-No.
-Well, take my word for it, and don't try it. It's useless! If it were some other woman, I could handle her, but after all, you can't scratch a bank's eyes out now, can you?
-Oh, well. I guess the only other thing for me to do is to go out and buy myself a few sticks of dynamite. When he comes out, you tell him I'll be back. He hasn't gotten rid of me!
-Hello, Helen!
-Matt, come here!
-Why?
-Hey, look out, somebody's likely to see us!
-What did you do with it?
-With what?
-The ten dollars.
-Oh, ten dollars—
-Yes.
-No.
-Oh, you think I'm lying?
-Yes.
-All right, I'm lying. Don't forget you called me a liar.
-Say, I just heard the merger isn't going thru. Isn't that grand?
-What happened? What did he say? Did you get the job?
-What's the matter, Matt? Gee, I thought you'd be thrilled to death.
-Come here. You know, a few minutes ago I was in Cluett's office and Mrs. Dickson was there.
-Well . . . ?
-Oh Matt, you must be mistaken.
-In Cluett's office?
-What's keeping you?
-Oh, Charlie again.
-Say Matt, you haven't done anything about what you saw today, have you?
-Who? Cluett? No, not yet. But I'd like to take a crack at that stiff- necked, horse dollar.[6]
-Oh now, don't be silly.
-Can you imagine that guy? He was kissing her.
-Now you've got me worried, dear. Promise me you won't butt in.
-Shh . . . ! I'll wait for you upstairs.
-Oh, Matt . . .
-What's he doing, honey? Is he getting any help?
-Something's happened. He isn't trying anymore.
-They must have turned him down.
-Yes. He called some of the biggest people in town.
-Did you talk to him?
-Dickson's in a jam I tell you. The run's getting worse.
-Mr. Williams . . .
-The big guys have got the screws on him. You've got to come through for him, Mr. Conway. He came through for you a hundred times. If his friends don't help him, who is going to help him?
-Did you say Dude Finlay?
-Yes, why?
-He was in the bank yesterday.
-He was here?
-He came to see Mr. Cluett.
-Are you sure?
-What did you find out, Mike?
-I've been trailing the cashier like you told me. You're right about that guy, chief. There's something screwy somewhere.
-Never mind all that. What did you find out?
-He left here about an hour ago and went down to Dude Finlay's joint.
-Dude Finlay?
-Do you know this young man, Mrs. Halligan?
-—for the rheumatism, you know.
-What time was it, Mrs. Halligan?
-What time was it?
-Huh?
-What time did Matt Brown get in?
-Now, let me see - a half hour after the Dooley sisters - and the Dooley sisters never get home until after—
-I don't care about the Dooley sisters - what time did he get in?
-That's just what I'm trying to tell you, sir. It was a half hour after the Dooley sisters . . .
-Yes, I guess it was one, 'cause...
-It couldn't have been earlier?
-No. It wasn't earlier because...
-Yes, I know. Cause the Dooley sisters weren't in yet.
-No - because me clock struck four, and when it strikes four, it's one.
-Listen here, young man - nobody ever called me a liar yet and got away with it—
-You turned off the burglar alarm, you set the time clock, came back at twelve and emptied the boxes, didn't you?
-wasn't anywhere near this place—
-Sit down! When the watchman surprised you, you shot him - what'd you do with the gun?
-I didn't do it! I haven't got a gun!
-Then who changed it?
-So you were home last night?
-Yes.
-What time did you get in?
-Well, about - uh - eleven o'clock.
-Eleven o'clock, eh? Are you sure it was that?
-But I wasn't here, Mr. Dickson. Honest I wasn't . . .
-You're carrying too much money on you, Hank. You better turn some in tonight.
-How are you fixed?
-I'm okay, Matt.
-That mug reminds me of a guy with his second dollar.
-Yeah, what did he do with his first one?
-Everybody in?
-I guess so.
-Where's Charlie?
-Certainly, Mr. Jones! Certainly! Charlie!
-You can ride like that?
-I think I may just go on to the reservation.
-I couldn't lose him.
-This is healing?
-Sometimes a wound will kill.
-Gatling! They've got a Gatling!
-He's smiling.
-Never thought that pissant town would look so pretty.
-Your Ma wouldn't let us leave until we ate something.
-Here's Liberty's favorite son! I'll never forget what you did, cousin.
-Our place, Clell Miller's, Sammy Johnston, the Creeders. Will Hite.
-The sheriff says it was a gang of drunk Kansas boys.
-These are deeds and mortgages of farms the bank was holding for the railroad.
-Uhh, yeah it does.
-No, Jimmy has a point. The Younger-James Gang could be confusing.
-How?
-We got a problem here, brother?
-That's what the newspapers say. Weren't for Jesse James, this gang wouldn't be able to find a goat's ass with a stick.
-This is the best score yet.
-It's still taking too long. The people used to snap to.
-That was because of... the reputation the gang had.
-As long as people think Jesse's still riding, we will never get the respect we deserve.
-Cole, we're outlaws. Not exactly the most respectable job, if you know what I mean.
-How'd they --
-What have you done?
-I ain't done --
-Bob. I didn't...
-Swear.
-I swear --
-I'm sorry, Cole.
-Things changed when you quit the gang. For example, I'm now the one who says "Let's ride."
-He's not bad at it.
-My plan of lying here pissing myself seems to be working mighty fine, thank you.
-Yesterday.
-Corn gonna shoot at me?
-Nope.
-Jesus mercy, that's Charlie Higgins, Dave Laller ...
-Cole, I want to get to the farm, make sure Little Jim and the girls are okay.
-They came up, made the same offer they made you folks. Our little brother Jim tried to chase 'em off, one of those detectives hit him in the head, knocked him out. Cole lost his temper.
-Oh no...
-Damn!
-They said because the detectives were working for the Department of the Interior --
-The Army can hang him.
-Home. We go home. We ride like hell to get there, and we kill anything or anyone that comes between us and our homes. And when we get there we stay there and God help any fool who tries to get me to leave my farm again.
-How many of them did he kill?
-You have no shame.
-But if we take their money and supplies...
-All right, settle down. All this money ain't ours.
-Well, no, Jesse, it was the bank's. That's why we had to go to all that trouble of stealing it. You explain it to him.
-"The outlaws calling themselves the James-Younger Gang shot their way out of town, wounding the Sherriff and three other townsfolk."
-Hey!
-Okay, folks, I think we know how this is going to go...
-Beg pardon?
-This is about the "Wanted!" Posters, isn't it.
-The things a fella has to do to get a little respect around here...
-You are a fine figure of a man.
-Listen, Jesse, we've got a problem. It's Cole.
-He's been full of vinegar lately.
-He's planning a job.
-What?
-Listen, he's my brother and I don't want to start trouble...
-What?
-What you sayin' boy?
-I think I recognize you.
-How?
-You shut up now, boy.
-'Bout time you got here, buddy.
-Ride with me, cousin?
-I could use the walk.
-Where you boys going?
-Home, boys. Back to our farms.
-Hands off your hip, Cole.
-You're not scared, are you?
-Not now.
-What is wrong with you?
-You ever notice Zerelda's eyes?
-She had a moustache.
-She was European!
-Thanks for the help.
-After all you did on our farm? You miss it, don't you Jesse?
-The war? What, are you crazy? There are things I miss about it.
-It was exciting.
-Because we were good at it? Hell, we were great at it. Jesse, don't tell anyone I said this, because everybody knows I'm the toughest man in this town, but you are one terrifying sonofabitch with those guns.
-This isn't a feud, this is war. They've got more men than we do. We kill detectives, they can replace 'em in a day.
-So what do we do, General Lee?
-I'll pick the first job! I mean... I know a girl down at the bank. See if she can't get a list of towns where the railroad keeps its money.
-Perfect, Cole.
-The James-Younger Gang.
-Sorry.
-I got seven thousand.
-See, Frank's being smart about this.
-It's not a bank.
-"The Fidelity Bank and Trust was robbed on Tuesday by a gang of twenty heavily armed men."
-Jesse, we got to have a word.
-Sure, cousin.
-All the posters and newspapers are calling this bunch the "James-Younger Gang."
-Yep.
-This is your fault for hogging all the publicity.
-It'll be the biggest score yet.
-Smells funny, it being mentioned in the paper.
-If you'd read about it first, you'd have no problems.
-What are you saying?
-I've robbed just as many banks as you have! I know this town, and I know this bank, and I say it's an easy job.
-Beautiful.
-Now the one time one of us comes up with an idea --
-A bad idea.
-I got us through the War all right.
-And almost got hanged in peacetime.
-I'm the better soldier, Jesse.
-Still smells fishy.
-Fine. We hit this bank.
-Dammit!
-Okay, you're gonna rest here.
-Bob, rip up some bandages.
-We'll make them pay for this.
-I'm out.
-WHAT?! We follow you for a year, and now that our blood's been spilled, you're gonna quit?!
-Missed you, cousin.
-You know, you gettin' caught, right after leaving us, some people thought --
-Where'd you get all these riders?
-Some Indian tracker you turned out to be, Tom.
-Wait'll we get back to Missouri, start telling those gals about how little Jesse James charged the whole Union Army by himself!
-Tom, why don't you stop at our spread before you head on out to the reservation? Figure we might have some work for you, if you want.
-Hmm. Go back to the reservation and get drunk in a dirt shack, or work for you...
-Well?
-Cannon or Gatling?
-Both would be nice.
-What the --
-I think one of 'em's glass.
-Which one, right or left?
-Oh, Lord, the dance hall girl at Bunty's...
-I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded real nice.
-Shakespeare. He's European.
-BASTARDS! Come back here and face me!
-Hey! We decide something, that's it! We're in this for the long haul, and this idea of me and Jesse's will help give us more places to hide out without worrying about some farmer with a shotgun sneakin' up on us in our sleep. We've got to think --
-Strategically.
-Jesse.
-Oh, you're in charge? We ain't partners any more, Jesse? You tell Cole Younger where and when to ride?
-Another dozen out back.
-They gonna rush us?
-The safe. Now.
-Of course! Uh, sir?
-What?
-Where is Jesse James?
-OPEN THE DAMN SAFE!
-You 'um big lawman?
-Yeah, Injun. What do you want?
-Great Chief of St. Louis send me.
-Of St. Louis?
-Ho-yah. Him say tell Big Lawman in Carville that badman Jesse James riding toward Rising Sun, above Great River, near Eagle Rock.
-East? East above the river heading for the Eagle Pass?
-Go ahead to the saloon. But don't get too drunk!
-I know it ain't no durned bank holiday!
-You're right, sir.
-Then why can't I go in there?
-On account of we're robbing it.
-Oh. Why didn't you just say so?
-It's a secret.
-Fine. I'll just wait here.
-What the --
-What is it?
-Old Man Tucker is just standing quiet outside the bank.
-So?
-Where the hell were you?
-I had you covered. From back there.
--- rode right into them, screaming like a banshee.
-My little Web did that?
-Web died fighting?
-Boys...
-What do you say, sir?
-You know you're welcome any time!
-Yesss, but I was thinking, I could come by, and then take Zee out. Some place near. With other folk. Near. Here. But out.
-Daddy, don't start with this again.
-He's going to be fine, right Daddy?
-They're gone. What are you --
-I fooled them into thinking I was alone.
-Well, I hope the boy pulls through. We should know in the morning.
-He thinks this is some kind of game!
-Every time I put my head up to hit that Gatling, they try to shoot it off.
-Distracting enough for you?
-Pff. They hardly even noticed you.
-So you're saying I could have done more to attract their attention.
-Mm-hmm.
-Such as?
-You could have worn one of those big, floppy woman's Easter Sunday hats.
-That would have made an impression.
-I figure.
-See, that's your problem, Frank. By the time you finish figuring out stuff, I'm already finished doing it.
-Web's dead.
-I reckoned.
-Hell of a war.
-Hello, Liberty Missoura!
-Looks like Web Mimms wasn't the only casualty this town's got.
-Frank, don't you have something to say?
-You're doing just fine.
-Whyyyy... he took down the Gatling gun and the cannon all by himself.
-All we thought about was coming home. I swore I'd kill anybody who tried to get me off my farm again. If I have to go to war with the railroad to stay, fine by me.
-Think about this. If we just come up with a story and stick to it, we should be all right.
-That just might work.
-"Big and older"?
-You can shut up now.
-You are a charmer.
-I swear I'll shoot you in your sleep.
-She's still talking to Jesus.
--- if you stop saying things about my Zee.
-You know him?
-I went up to the courthouse and looked at the right of way documents for the rail bed. The railroad doesn't even need our land, they're just taking the land on both sides for as far as they can.
-You ready to stop loafing around with this young lady and get back to farming?
-What do you think?
-You're looking a bit more spry now that somebody --
-Pinkertons. It's the railroad.
-... We could move on. Rebuild. Make a decent life someplace else.
-Don't care.
-Didn't think you would. I'm going to go make the coffin.
-How'd it go in there?
-Fine. How'd it go out here?
-And I planned getting you off the hangman's deck --
-And it's guarded by Pinkerton detectives.
-I don't think it's counterfeit. Do you mind if I take a look at all your real bills to compare?
-Gents, we are in the middle of something here.
-Bob's upset.
-Pardon the delay, folks, but we had to get Mad Bob Younger under control!
-This has been a good year.
-Jesse, we're outlaws.
-And we're good at it.
-It got to you, didn't it. All the killing in the war. You need it now.
-You've killed your fair share of men.
-If I could go back to farming --
-That's a lie. You could've bought a dozen farms with the money we've stolen.
-I can't quit and leave you alone. I can't quit until you quit. Ma would've wanted it that way.
-We're doing this for Ma.
-Maybe it started out that way. But now...
-What do you want me to say, Frank? I was killing men when I was fifteen. I like getting shot at. I like riding out of town with a posse at my back. This is a helluva better life than farming.
-We're drunk.
-Oh yeah.
-You taking sides against me, now, Frank?
-They're all pinned down. Can't even get to the door.
-Shoulda learned with Web. Made it look fun, made it look like an adventure. Got Web killed. Now Jim.
-Jim was old enough...
-He was a boy riding with the most famous outlaws in the West. How was he supposed to say no to that?
-Railroad burned him out too. You couldn't have stopped him.
-You're a piss-poor liar for the smartest man I know.
-Yeah.
-A war against the railroad. What the hell were we thinking?
-I'll meet you down there in a few weeks.
-See you soon. Oh, and I appreciate the distraction back there.
-Y'know, Uncle Frank...
-Yeah, Jimmy?
-...every time you tell that story, you stop there. That's not how it ended. I was five when my dad got shot.
-Allow a man his version of the past. When you get to be my age, you've got enough painful memories, you're allowed to soften a few of the edges up.
-Sounds like he was a hell of a man.
-That he was.
-They're making him a hero now.
-Saved a lot of folk from the railroad.
-But he killed a lot of men, too.
-Can't argue that.
-So what was he?
-Uncle Frank?
-Yeah Jimmy?
-How much of that story is true?
-Did you kill Yankees?
-A fair number, Ma.
-Ma, I'm glad to see you being nice to our Injun friend.
-Easterners.
-The Lord says we can bury 'em out back in the orchard, nobody'll ever find them.
-Ma! Please!
-Riders --
-We know, Ma. Now we got to get you to Doc Mimms.
-Doc Mimms will --
-Zerelda? Little Zee Mimms?
-You were little Jesse James when you left.
-But still died.
-Jesse, are you awake?
-Jesse, is that your hand?
-You shouldn't be up.
-I've been on my back two weeks. I'm sick of it.
-You're sick of my company?
-No! I mean, of course not. No.
-Teasing you is completely unfair.
-What you do to me is unfair. The teasing, I mean.
-I shouldn't tease a hero.
-What?
-Everybody in the county knows it was you who rescued Cole. We're all so proud of you, Jesse. And not a single farm's been sold to the railroad since. You're everybody's hero.
-I wasn't the only one risking my neck that day.
-So you're saying I should leave you alone and go spend time with Jimmy Younger?
-I used to come to this tree when I was a kid and imagine what my life would be like when I got older.
-You didn't want to farm?
-I was thinking more along the lines of being a river pirate.
-A river pirate.
-Arr. Hand over your jewels, Missy.
-Thank God you grew out of that. You did grow out of that, didn't you?
-Mostly. It would be an all right life, for a bachelor.
-You planning on being a bachelor your whole life, Jesse James?
-Not if I find the right girl.
-And what's this right girl like?
-Smart. Funny. Bossy. Always makes me think she's two steps ahead of me. And big buck teeth.
-Where will you find such a girl?
-Ahem. "From this doctrine..." No, ah... "From women's eyes this doctrine I derive, they sparkle still like ... shiny... sparkling rocks..."
-Sparkling rocks?
-Little ones.
-Is this one of Frank's Shakespeare poems you're trying to quote?
-Yep.
-Were you planning on kissing me when you finished quoting?
-I am so sorry, Jesse.
-You and I, we've started... something, you know? I don't know what'll happen if you do this.
-Me neither.
-Let the law --
-Laws don't touch men like Thaddeus Rains. Only justice does.
-Whose justice? Yours or God's? When will you stop?
-Zee.
-Jesse. What are you thinking? There are bounty hunters and lawmen all over this county!
-I don't understand.
-She's the most wonderful woman in the world. Can't get her out of my mind.
-That's... wonderful. It's just... I thought...
-I would never have imagined us in a place like this.
-That's why I picked it. We can start a whole new life down here.
-Are you going to be happy here, Mr. James? Without all that excitement?
-I've got you. You keep me busy. I figure we'll get over to the hotel... get checked in, cleaned up... then I'd like to do something I've been thinking about for a long time.
-Hmm.
-"Hmm" what?
-I beg your pardon?
-"Blazing Guns of the West. True Stories of Jesse James." Only a dime in the hotel lobby.
-Let me see that.
-Oh, I'm not finished. "When he sauntered into a saloon, his spurs jangling and his pockets full of gold, the ladies flocked around him like flies to a candied apple." As I said. Hmm.
-Now, sweetie, y'all wouldn't go believing one of them silly dime novels, would you?
-Jesse, have you ever noticed that when you're trying to charm your way out of trouble, your accent gets all farm boy?
-Aw, shucks, ma'am...
-Stop it. This is just sad.
-Don't turn around.
-What?
-You get arrested again, I'll kill you.
-Yes ma'am.
-I can't believe I had to blow up a train for you.
-You are a hell of a woman.
-Don't swear.
-Tennessee?
-We're moving you tomorrow.
-But I like the presidential suite.
-Oh, it's a similar room. But the hotel is in Washington D.C. You're not going to get a fair trial down here, in front of a jury of Jesse James sympathizers.
-So I'll get a fair trial in front of a jury bought off by Thaddeus Rains?
-Did you order our houses burned down?
-You almost ended my career before it began.
-How did you spot the ambush in Torrell?
-Last February?
-Mmm.
-You had all those cattle there, so I'd think the extra men were in town from the cattle drive?
-Yes?
-The cows had a brand from a farm just five miles out of town.
-Almost got me in Billings. I saw you there, shooting at me.
-I went myself to oversee the operation. Didn't help much.
-Oh. That's nice to know. We're going to hang you, you know.
-I figured.
-Was it worth it?
-Should have just killed Thaddeus Rains and been done with it.
-That's what I would have done.
-I'm not hanged yet.
-You cocky little bastard.
-Ahh, you'll miss me.
-That was for my Ma. Now this is for everybody else.
-The railroad has no business in Tennessee. Therefore I have no interest in the state of Tennessee.
-Thanks.
-I'd just as soon kill you, Jesse James. But chasing you takes up too much of my time.
-This is unusual. Most of our marriages are members of the congregation.
-The Lord is remarkably tolerant of the charitable. "Jesse Woodson James." Jesse James? The Jesse James?
-I could have lied I suppose, but I want this marriage to be legal. I just want you to know, I'm trying to start a new life here. I'm depending on your...
-Discretion? Sir, I am a man of the cloth.
-Thank you.
-Now let's have a drink.
-Right here in church?
-And you're too young.
-I'm the same age you were when you went off to war.
-I like that.
-You okay, Jesse?
-Yeah. Hey, are you drinking whisky? You're too young to be drinking whisky.
-Not too young to shoot a man, not to young to drink.
-I guess so.
-Jim, you been with a girl yet?
-Well, not exactly.
-You been with a girl ever?
-Hell yeah! I been with... Uh, not exactly. It's just, I don't want to get one of these paid ladies, you know?
-I think so.
-You and Frank and Cole, and even Bob, get all these girls because you're good looking and famous. You don't have to pay. They just look at me like I'm the baby brother. Don't tell anyone, okay Jesse?
-I swear.
-Tell you something else. I can't drink that good neither. I'm going to go outside and throw up.
-What about that Rock Island bastard?
-... too young for whisky...
-This time we'll make an exception.
-Jesse, you explain to Lyla. My girl, you know, from that time...
-Why, yeah.
-I hope you don't mind, Jesse James told me your name.
-Oh, you were talking to Jesse.
-Really?
-I hope I'm not being too forward.
-Not at all.
-I just though you were awful cute.
-Thank you, Miss -- ?
-Lyla Devereux.
-Gosh, that's a pretty name. Buy you a drink?
-Could we go upstairs and talk? It's so loud down here.
-Why don't we get a bottle of sherry to sip while we talk?
-Devereux. My brother Cole dated a European girl once.
-Really?
-Well, this land is about to be condemned.
-Relax, Alan. The Army has this all in hand. And Mr. Thaddeus Rains will be very pleased with this news. Nothing like a hanging to motivate the populace to relocate.
-My professional opinion is that you have managed to piss off the wrong bunch of farm boys this time.
-They had to be dealt with!
-How can that be?
-There's only four of them...
-Mr. Thaddeus Rains, sir, it is a pleasure to have you join us in the field.
-And it is my pleasure to be here.
-Really!
-NO! It is NOT my pleasure to have to leave my board room to come to this godforsaken piece of dirt to discover why in the name of all that is holy you cannot seem to evict a few simple farmers from their PATHETIC LITTLE MUDHOLES so that I may build the GREATEST railroad that this country has ever seen!
-Parker, tell me what's going on so I can return as quickly as possible to Boston and my whores and cigars, not necessarily in that order.
-Two weeks ago, we managed to arrange to have the Army hang one of the local farmers.
-Good.
-Unfortunately not, sir. A gang of local thugs managed to rescue him from the gallows. Not only has this inspired resistance from the other farmers, the redoubtable Mr. Alan Pinkerton was seriously injured during the incident.
-Leaving you in charge of operations until he recovers.
-Yes sir.
-Just perfect.
-A further impediment is that the Army garrison has been ordered to move on from Liberty. We will no longer have that particular stick with which to threaten the farmers.
-You see the Army leaving and you see the loss of a tool. I see a power void to be filled. As we have the most power, we may move with impunity.
-I see. I'll get together four patrols of our detectives for action tonight.
-They exchanged fire with the Pinkerton Guards, killing several of them. Then they raided the payroll office and blew the tracks for half a mile.
-How much did they get from the safe?
-Thirty-five thousand, sir. Coins and currency. And the delay from the miles of destroyed track --
-I'll kill them for blowing up my railway!
-To be precise, they didn't blow up the tracks.
-THEN WHO DID?!
-Your men knew the risks.
-With my money!
-The final route for the railroad is complete.
-Parker.
-Sir?
-What is that?
-That.
-This is him.
-How did you know?
-Look at this, Pinkerton! They got the payroll, and this damage will set construction back two months at least.
-You wouldn't have done that?
-Oh no, I would have done that. But I would have made sure I killed them, too.
-I want them arrested and hanged!
-Would a jury around here convict their own? I think not. We're beginning an interesting game here, Mr. Rains.
-This is no game.
-"A Rock Island and Pacific Railroad depot was robbed two nights ago just outside St. Louis, Missouri. The brave and daring James-Younger Gang was heavily outnumbered by Pinkerton detectives, but the city lawmen were no match for the guns of the West."
-It is a nice piece of writing.
-"The gang made off with thirty-five thousand dollars and also destroyed the Thaxton Switch construction, meaning that for a few months honest farmers will be able to sleep without fearing the railroad is coming to steal their land!" Who wrote this!? I'll see him hanged every Tuesday for a month!
-It's early in the game yet, Mr. Rains. Jesse James and I are just learning how each other moves, feeling out each other's patterns.
-I'm losing millions of dollars and months of time while you play chess with these farmers!
-Hardly farmers. I've done some checking. All these were in the War. These men know sabotage, tactics, and have four years of bloody fighting experience behind them. They are disciplined, well-trained and have a charismatic leader. If I were to design the perfect outlaw band, this gang is what I would create.
-So you can't tell me anything?
-Pinkerton. It's been eight months. I see robberies. I see hold ups. But I do not see men on the end of nooses.
-First of all: you, shut up. Now, you've given me a thousand miles of railroad to cover. Every time the James Gang strikes, we shift a hundred detectives to that area. But there's just too much open land, too many riverbeds to ride, caves to hide in. This gang operates across four states, often riding a hundred miles between jobs.
-I can't believe this.
-Yes, that's the way to win the locals back to our side.
-I demand action.
-No, you demand results. They are not the same thing. And if you want results, you will let me do my job as I see fit. Unless of course, You want this fool to saddle up and take another run at it?
-Can't you tell me anything?
-So he's won.
-Every three months, the James Gang circles back to the vicinity of Liberty, Missouri. They always pull a job right before they return, probably to have extra money to give family and friends.
-In English, Pinkerton.
-There are only four banks within that travel radius which they have not robbed.
-Can you put men at all four?
-No need. I have another tool at my disposal which will narrow it down to one bank.
-What is that?
-What the hell is that sound?
-Listen, what are you doing tonight?
-What? Oh, I'm...busy.
-Listen, you're dating Luis, he's in Arizona. You're fucking me, and we haven't made plans. What could you possibly be up to tonight?
-Stop it. I'm...
-On a lot of lithium?
-Waiting for Luis to call me. He said he'd call tonight. Oh don't be difficult, Patrick.
-You should come have dinner with me. COURTNEY But-when?
-Am I confused or were we talking about tonight?
-Ummm . . yeah. Luis is calling me tonight. I need to be home for that.
-Pumpkin?
-Yes?
-Pumpkin you're dating an asshole.
-Uh huh.
-Pumpkin you're dating the biggest dickweed in New York.
-I know. Stop it.
-Pumpkin, you're dating a tumbling, tumbling dickweed.
-Patrick don't call me pumpkin anymore, okay? I have to go.
-Courtney? Dinner?
-I can't.
-I'm thinking Dorsia.
-Dorsia's nice.
-Nice?
-You like it there, don't you?
-The question is do you like it, Courtney? And will you blow off a fucking phone call from your sad excuse for a boyfriend to eat there tonight.
-Okay. Yeah. What time?
-Eight?
-Pick me up?
-A facial at Elizabeth Arden, which was really relaxing, then to the Pottery Bam where I bought this silver muffin dish.
-Is that Donald Trump's car?
-Oh God, Patrick. Shut up.
-You know, Courtney, you should take some more lithium. Or have a Diet Coke. Some caffeine might get you out of this slump.
-J&B. Straight.
-Champagne on the rocks. Oh-could I have that with a twist? She starts to sink back in her chair and Bateman leans over and pulls her back up.
-Are we here?
-Yes.
-This is Dorsia?
-Courtney, you're going to have the peanut butter soup with smoked duck and mashed squash. New York magazine called it a 'playful but mysterious little dish." You'll love it. And then...the red snapper with violets and pine nuts. I think that'll follow nicely.
-Luis is a despicable twit.
-No, you idiot. I said "Is it a receptacle tip?" Not, is Luis a despicable twit. Is it a receptacle tip? Get off me.
-Is it a what?
-Pull out.
-I'm ignoring you.
-Pull out, goddamnit!
-It's a plain end. I think.
-Oh Jesus. I'm going home.
-Patrick. Turn on the Light. He turns on the light.
-It's a plain end, see? So?
-Take it off.
-Why?
-Oh Christ, this really isn't worth it. And see, Courtney, it's there for what? Huh? Tell us. Why is it pulled down half an inch? So it can catch the force of the ejaculate!
-See? Happy? You dumb bitch? Are you happy, you dumb bitch?
-Will you call me before Thanksgiving?
-What are you doing tonight?
-Dinner at the River Cafe. Au Bar afterwards, maybe.
-That's nice.
-You and...Luis?
-We were supposed to have dinner at Tad and Maura's, but-you know how Luis is...
-I never knew you smoked.
-Listen...Patrick. Can we talk?
-You look marvelous. There's nothing to say. You're going to marry Luis. Next week, no Less.
-Isn't that special? Patrick?
-Patrick?
-Yes?
-I haven't seen you around here.
-You just haven't been looking.
-Do you want to come to my apartment or not?
-I'm not supposed to. But I can make an exception.
-You have a really nice place here...Paul. How much did you pay for it?
-I'm not so sure about this. I had to go to Emergency after last time...
-Oh this won't be anything like last time, I promise.
-Nothing like last time, promise.
-So, you're looking great, how have you been?
-Well, I actually might need a little surgery after last time.
-Really?
-My friend told me I should maybe even get a lawyer.
-This is nicer than your other apartment.
-Marzipan. Pink tents. Hundreds, thousands of roses. Photographers. Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz. And we'll hire someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it.
-Do...what.
-Get married. Have a wedding.
-Evelyn?
-Yes, darling?
-Is your Evian spiked?
-We should do it.
-No-I can't take the time off work.
-Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly.
-I don't want to talk about it.
-Well, you hate that job anyway. Why don't you just quit? You don't have to work.
-Pat, this is my cousin Vanden and her boyfriend Stash. He's an artist.
-Why don t you just go for Price?
-Oh God, Patrick. Why Price? Price?
-He's rich.
-Everybody's rich.
-He's good-looking.
-Everybody's good-looking, Patrick.
-He has a great body
-Are you using minoxidil?
-No. I'm not. Why should I ?
-Your hairline looks like it's receding.
-I want a firm commitment.
-Why? What's wrong?
-We need to talk.
-Talk about what, Patrick? What is there to talk about?
-It's over, Evelyn. It's all over
-Touchy, touchy. I'm sorry I brought the wedding up. Let's just avoid the issue, alright? Now, are we having coffee?
-I'm fucking serious. It's fucking over. Us. This is no joke. I don't think we should see each other anymore.
-But your friends are my friends. My friends are your friends. I don't think it would work. You have a little something on your upper lip.
-You're really serious, aren't you?
-Yes, I am.
-But what about the past? Our past?
-We never really shared one.
-You're inhuman.
-No, no, no.
-If you really want to do something for me, you can stop making this scene right now.
-Oh God, I can't believe this.
-Where are you going?
-I'm just leaving.
-But where?
-You'll notice that my friends and I all look and behave in a remarkably similar fashion, but there are subtle differences between us. McDermott is the biggest asshole. Van Patten is the yes man. Price is the most wired. I'm the best looking. We all have light tans. Right now I'm in a bad mood because this is not a good table, and Van
-Picked them up from the printers yesterday
-Good coloring.
-Eggshell with Romalian type. What do you think?
-But Laurie Kennedy is a total hardbody. What do you think, Bateman?
-Because he dated her.
-How did you guess?
-Girls dig Bateman. He's CQ. You're total CQ, Bateman.
-Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
-Ed Gein? Maitre d' at Canal Bar?
-Listen, what about dinner?
-Are you my two o'clock?
-Can I help you?
-Doesn't he live here?
-No, he doesn't.
-Are you sure?
-You saw the ad in the Times?
-No. Yes. I mean yes, I did. In the Times. But... doesn't Paul Owen still live here?
-I think you should go now.
-But I think...I want to know what happened here.
-Don't come back.
-Excuse me, gentlemen. Right back. He approaches Carnes cautiously.
-Jesus, Davis. Yes. That was hilarious. That was you, wasn't it?
-Yes, naturally.
-It was a pretty long message, wasn't it?
-What exactly do you mean?
-By the way Davis, how is Cynthia? You're still seeing her, right?
-Carnes? Wait.
-Davis. I'm not one to bad-mouth anyone, your joke was amusing. But come on, man, you had one fatal flaw: Bateman's such a dork, such a boring, spineless lightweight, that I couldn't fully appreciate it. I wasn't fooled for a second. Now, if you'd said Price, or McDermott...Otherwise, it was amusing. Now, let's have lunch or dinner or something. Hilarious, Davis. A killer.
-What are you talking about? Bateman is what?
-Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must...
-Wait. Stop. You don't seem to understand. You're not really comprehending any of this. I killed him. I did it, Carnes. I'm Patrick Bateman. I chopped Owen's fucking head off. I tortured dozens of girls. The whole message I left on your machine was true.
-Excuse me. I really must he going.
-Now, Carnes, listen to me. Listen very, very carefully. I killed Paul Owen and I liked it. I can't make myself any clearer
-But that's simply not possible. And I don't find this funny anymore.
-It never was supposed to he! Why isn't it possible?
-It's just not.
-Because I had dinner with Paul Owen twice in London...just ten days ago.
-No, you...didn't?
-Patrick, thanks so much for looking after Courtney. Dorsia, how impressive! How on earth did you get a reservation there?
-Lucky, I guess.
-That's a wonderful jacket. Let me guess, Valentino Couture?
-Uh huh.
-It looks so soft.
-Patrick? Is that you?
-No, Luis. It's not me. You're mistaken.
-This is Gwendolyn Ichiban. This is my very good friend Patrick Bateman. Where are you going? We're going to Nell's. Gwendolyn's father's buying it. Where did you get your overnight bag?
-Call me please, Patrick.
-What...is...it?
-Where are you going?
-I've gotta...I've gotta...return some videotapes.
-Patrick?
-Van Patten looks puffy. Has he stopped working out?
-That's Paul Owen.
-There's this theory out now that if you can catch the AIDS virus through having sex with someone who is infected, then you can also catch anything-Alzheimer's, muscular dystrophy, hemophilia, leukemia, diabetes, dyslexia, for Christ's sake-you can get dyslexia from pussy-
-I'm not sure, guy, but I don't think dyslexia is a virus.
-Jeez. That's not a helluva lot, is it?
-Maybe it's just the light.
-Is he fucking selling it by the milligram? Oh my God...
-What?
-It's definitely weak but I have a feeling if we do enough of it we'll be okay.
-SHUT UP!
-Calm down. Let's do it anyway
-Oh come on. Price. There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about. Sure our foreign policy is important, but there are more pressing problems at hand.
-Like what?
-What's that, a gram?
-I can't believe that Price prefers McDermott's card to mine.
-Raised lettering, pale nimbus white...
-Yes, Caron's right. Gorbachev's not downstairs. He's at Tunnel.
-I'm leaving. I'm getting out.
-Leaving what?
-Don't, I'll drink it.
-Listen to me, Patrick. I'm leaving.
-Where to? Are you going to go get a gram?
-I'm leaving! I...am...leaving!
-Don't tell me...merchant banking?
-No, you dumb son of a bitch. I'm serious. I'm disappearing.
-And Bateman, what are YOU SO fucking zany about?
-Dorsia.
-Marcus Halberstam. For two at eight?
-Dorsia, yes?
-We are totally booked.
-Oh really? That's great.
-I said we are totally booked.
-Two at nine? Perfect.
-There are no tables available tonight. The waiting list is also totally booked.
-Late?
-Aerobics class. Sorry. Any messages?
-Ricky Hendricks has to cancel today. He didn't say what he was canceling or why.
-I occasionally box with Ricky at the Harvard Club. Anyone else?
-And...Spencer wants to meet you for a drink at Fluties Pier 17.
-When?
-After six.
-Oh? And what should I say?
-Just...say...no.
-Okay, Jean. I need reservations for three at Camols at twelve-thirty, and if not there, try Crayons. All right?
-Oh, something. . romantic?
-No, silly. Forget it. I'll make them. Thanks.
-I'll do it.
-No. No. Be a doll and just get me a Perrier, okay?
-Yes?
-Is that the Ransom file? Thanks. Don't wear that outfit again.
-Ummm...what? I didn't hear you.
-You don't like this, I take it?
-Come on, you're prettier than that.
-What is it?
-Patrick?
-Ye-es, Je-an?
-Patrick, a Mr. Donald KIMBALL is here to see you.
-Who?
-Tell him I'm at lunch.
-Patrick?
-Yes, Patrick?
-Jean?
-Yes, Patrick?
-That is...if you're not doing anything.
-Oh no. I have no plans.
-Anywhere you want?
-Let's not think about what I want. How about anywhere you want.
-Oh Patrick, I can't make this decision.
-No, come on. Anywhere you want.
-Oh, I can't. I don't know.
-Soooo...Dorsia is where Jean wants to go...
-Oh, I don't know. No, we'll go anywhere you want.
-Yes? You're dressed...okay.
-You didn't give them a name.
-Jean? Sorbet?
-Want a bite?
-I'm on a diet. But thank you.
-You don't need to lose any weight. You're kidding, right? You look great. Very fit.
-You can always he thinner. Look...better.
-Well, maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I don't want to ruin your willpower.
-And don't tell me you enjoy working with children, okay?
-Do you have a boyfriend?
-No, not really.
-Interesting.
-Are you seeing anyone? I mean, seriously?
-Maybe. I don't know Not really. Bateman opens up a cupboard where there are a lot of very Bateman opens a cupboard where there are a lot of neatly ordered weapons - an ax, a rifle, a chain saw, duct tape, twine and a nail gun.
-Jean, do you feel...fulfilled? I mean, in your life?
-Well, I guess I do. For a long time I was too focused on my work, I think, but now I've really begun to think about changing myself, you know, developing, and...growing.
-Did you know that Ted Bundy's first dog, a collie, was named Lassie? Had you heard this?
-Who's Ted Bundy?
-Forget it.
-What's that?
-Oh. Uh, tape. Duct tape. I...need it for... taping something. Bateman goes back to the cupboard for the nail gun.
-What...No! Put it in the carton.
-Sorry.
-Jean? What?
-I'm looking for...I guess you could say I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone special.
-Yes. I don t think I can...control myself.
-If you stay, I think something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don't want to get hurt, do you?
-And don't forget you have a breakfast meeting with Frederick Bennet and Charles Rust at '21.
-Patrick Bateman's office.
-Jean? Hello? Jean?
-Patrick? Is that you?
-Hello? Jean, I need help!
-Where are you?
-Jean-I'm not-
-Craig McDermott called. He wants to meet you and David Van Patten and Tim Price at Harry's for drinks.
-Oh God, what did you say, you dumb bitch?
-Patrick? I can't hear you.
-What are I doing?
-Where are you? Patrick, what's wrong?
-...to the office this afternoon.
-Why?
-Just...say...no!
-What is it, Patrick? Are you alright?
-So, what do you do?
-What do you think I do?
-A model? An actor?
-No. Flattering, but no.
-Well...
-Welt...it depends, why?
-Oh really? DAISY He said... He said you gave him bad vibes.
-That's...that's too bad.
-You think I'm dumb, don't you?
-What?
-You think I'm dumb. You think all models are dumb.
-No. I really don't.
-Hi, Patrick. I thought that was you.
-Well.
-Isn't it ridiculous? Coming all the way up here, but you know. They really are the best.
-Well, I mean, um, it s really...Bosco. You know, like... like a Dove Bar. It's a Dove Bar...Hershey's Syrup?
-Oh yeah. Oh I get it. Fun with chocolate.
-Hubert's? Oh really? It moved uptown, right?
-Yeah, well, oh boy, listen, I've got to go. Thank you, uh... Victoria?
-Maybe we could have lunch one day next week? You know, I'm downtown near Wall Street quite often.
-Oh, I don't know, Victoria. I'm at work all the time.
-Well, what about, oh, you know, maybe a Saturday?
-Next Saturday?
-Yeah.
-Oh, can't, I'm afraid. Matinée of Les Miserables. Listen, I've really got to go. I'll-Oh...Christ...I'll call you.
-What do you mean, she was a hot number.
-She's my...cousin.
-Uh huh?
-Elizabeth, it's three in the morning.
-He's a goddamn drug dealer! These are his peak hours.
-Don't tell him you're here.
-This tastes weird. Harley? It's me. I need your services. Translate that anyway you'd like. I'm at-
-You're at Paul Owen s.
-Who?
-Paul Owen.
-Did you know that guy who disappeared? Didn't he work at Pierce & Pierce, too? Was he a friend of yours?
-No.
-Listen, I would just like to see...the two of you...get it on. What's wrong with that? It's totally disease-free.
-Patrick, you re a lunatic.
-Come on. Don't you find Christie attractive?
-Let's not get lewd. I'm in no mood to have a lewd conversation.
-Come on. I think it would be a turn-on.
-Are you telling me you've never gotten it on with a girl?
-No! I'm not a lesbian. Why do you think I'd be into that?
-Well, you went to Sarah Lawrence for one thing.
-Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP called simply Whitney Houston had four number-one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie? Whitney's voice leaps across so many boundaries and is so versatile-though she's mainly a jazz singer-that it's hard to take in the album on a first listening.
-Listen, John, I've got to go. T Boone Pickens just walked in... Just joking... No don't tip the owner of the salon. Okay, John, right, got it. Sorry about that.
-No, I'm sorry. I should've made an appointment. Was that anything important?
-Hi. I'm Donald KIMBALL
-Hi. Pat Bateman. Nice to meet you.
-So, what's the topic of discussion?
-I've been hired by Meredith Powell to investigate the disappearance of Paul Owen.
-You're not with the FBI or anything, are you?
-Nothing like that. I'm just a private investigator.
-Ah, I see...Yes. Paul's disappearance...Yes.
-So it's nothing that official. I just have some basic questions. About Paul Owen. About yourself-
-Coffee?
-No. I'm okay.
-Perrier? San Pellegrino?
-KIMBALL.
-Mr. Kimball a bottle of San Pelle-
-Oh no, I'm okay.
-Well, what's the topic of discussion?
-The disappearance of Paul Owen.
-Oh right. Well, I haven't heard anything about the disappearance or anything... Not on "Page Six" at least.
-I think his family wants this kept quiet.
-Understandable. Lime?
-No, really. I'm okay.
-Just some preliminary questions that I need for my own files, okay?
-Shoot.
-How old are you?
-Twenty-six. I'll be twenty-seven in October.
-Where did you go to school?
-Harvard. The Harvard Business School.
-Your address?
-Fifty-five West Eighty-First Street. The American Gardens Building.
-Nice. Very nice.
-Pardon me, but are you okay?
-Who do you ask?
-Bad habit.
-Would you rather I not smoke?
-No, I guess it's okay.
-You sure?
-What can you tell me about Paul Owen?
-How well did you know him?
-I'm...at a loss. He was part of that whole...Yale thing, you know.
-Yeah...Yale thing.
-So...there's nothing you can tell me about Paul Owen?
-He led what I suppose was an orderly life. He... ate a balanced diet.
-What kind of man was he? Besides... the information you've just given.
-I hope I'm not being cross-examined here.
-Do you feel that way?
-No. Not really.
-Where did Paul hang out?
-Hang...out?
-Yeah. You know...hang out.
-Let me think. The Newport. Harry's. Fluties. Endochine. Nell's. Comell Club. The New York Yacht Club. The regular places.
-He had a yacht?
-No, he just hung out there.
-Don't you know this?
-Anything else you can tell me about Owen?
-We were both seven in 1969.
-So was I.
-Do you have any witnesses or fingerprints?
-Well, there's a message on his answering machine saying he went to London.
-Well, maybe he did, huh?
-His girlfriend doesn't think so.
-But...has anyone seen him in London?
-Actually, yes.
-Hmmm.
-Well, I've had a hard time getting an actual verification. A Stephen Hughes says he saw him at a restaurant there, but I checked it out and what happened is, he mistook a Hubert Ainsworth for Paul, so...
-Oh.
-Was he involved at all , do you think, in occultism or Satan worship?
-What?
-I know it sounds like a lame question, but in New Jersey I know this sounds like a lame question, but last month-I don't know if you've heard about this, but a young stockbroker was recently arrested and charged with murdering a young Chicano girl and performing voodoo rituals with various body parts-
-Yikes! No. Paul wasn't into that. He followed a balanced diet and-
-Have you consulted a psychic?
-No.
-Had his apartment been burglarized?
-No, it actually hadn't. Toiletries were missing. A suit was gone. So was some luggage. That's it.
-I mean no one's dealing with the homicide squad yet or anything, right?
-No, not yet. As I said, we're not sure. But... basically no one has seen or heard anything.
-That's so typical, isn't it?
-It's just strange. One day someone's walking around, going to work, alive, and then...
-Nothing.
-People just...disappear.
-The earth just opens up and swallows people.
-You'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at Four Seasons in twenty minutes.
-Isn't the Four Seasons a little far uptown? I mean aren't you going to be late?
-Uh, no. There's one...down here.
-Listen, if anything occurs to you, any information at all...
-Absolutely, I'm 100% with you.
-Detective Kendall...uh Campbell? KIMBALL Kimball. Call me Don.
-Don.
-So...you hang out here a lot?
-How's the investigation going? Taken anyone in for "formal questioning?"
-0h no. Informal conversations, mostly. What's that, Stoli?
-Yeah. No Finlandia, as usual. Fucking dump.
-I mean they want to get caught.
-I actually came to see Timothy Price, but he's taken a leave of absence.
-Yeah, gone into rehab. Shame. Is he a suspect?
-Do you remember where you were on the night of Paul's disappearance? Which was on the twentieth of December?
-I had a date with a girl named Veronica.
-Wait. That's not what I've got.
-What?
-That's not the information I've received.
-Well...I...Wait...What information have you received?
-Let's see... That you were with-
-Well, I could he wrong.
-Well...When was the last time you were with Paul Owen?
-Well, thank you, Mr. Bateman.
-Patrick, please. I hope I've been informative. Long day-a bit scattered.
-Listen, I'm a little spent for now but how about lunch in a week or so when I've sorted out all this information?
-Great, yes, I'd like that.
-And if you could try and pin down where you were the night of Owen's disappearance, it would make my job a lot easier.
-Never. I mean...I don't really like... singers.
-Not a big music fan, eh?
-No, I like music. Just-they're-Huey's too... black sounding. For me.
-Well, to each his own. So-lunch, Thursday? I'll call your secretary about reservations.
-No hash browns?
-Not in the mood, I guess.
-But...everyone orders the hash browns here. I mean- it's-have you been here before?
-Yes, of course. The hash browns are delicious. I'm just...not... ordering them.
-So, the night he disappeared? Any new thoughts on what you did?
-I'm not really sure. I had a shower...and some sorbet?
-I think maybe you've got your dates mixed up.
-But how? Where do you place Paul that night?
-According to his date book, and this was verified by his secretary, he had dinner with...Marcus Halberstam.
-And?
-I've questioned him.
-Marcus?
-Yes. And he denies it. Though at first he couldn't be sure.
-But Marcus denied it?
-Yes.
-Well, does Marcus have an alibi?
-He does? You're sure?
-I checked it out. It's clean.
-Oh. KIMBALL Now where were you?
-Where was Marcus?
-He wasn't with Paul Owen.
-So who was he with?
-Oh, right. Of course...We had wanted Paul Owen to come. But he said he had plans...I guess I had dinner with Victoria...the following night.
-I'm so hungry.
-It's cold out, too, isn't it?
-I'm so hungry.
-Why don't you get a job? If you're so hungry, why don't you get a job?
-I lost my job...
-Gee, uh, that's too bad.
-Why don't you get another one? Why don't , you get another job?
-I'm not...
-You're not what? Qualified for anything else?
-I'm hungry
-I know that, I know that. Jeez, you're like a broken record. I'm trying to help you.
-I'm hungry.
-Listen, do you think it's fair to take money from people who do have jobs? From people who do work?
-What am I gonna do?
-Listen, what's your name?
-Al.
-Speak up. Come on.
-Al.
-Get a goddamn job, Al. You've got a negative attitude. That's what's stopping you. You've got to get your act together. I'll help you.
-You re so kind, mister. You're kind. You're a kind man. I can tell.
-Shhhh...it's okay.
-Please...I don know what to do. I'm so cold.
-Do ,you know how bad you smell? The stench, my God.
-I can't...I can't find a shelter
-Hello, Halberstam. Nice tie. How the hell are you?
-How's the Ransom account going, Marcus?
-It's...it's...all right.
-Really? That's interesting. Not great?
-Oh well, you know.
-And how's Cecilia? She's a great girl.
-Listen, the mud soup and the charcoal arugula are outrageous here.
-Yeah, well, you're late.
-Hey, I'm a child of divorce. Give me a break Hmmm, I see they've omitted the pork loin with lime jello.
-We should've gone to Dorsia. I could've gotten us a table.
-So, wasn't Rothschild originally handling the Fisher account? How did you get it?
-And Cecelia, how is she? Where is she tonight?
-Cecelia is, well...you know
-Evelyn. Great ass. Goes out with that loser Patrick Bateman. What a dork.
-Paul, give me your Amex card. Good boy. Bateman slaps the card down, looks at the check.
-Two-hundred-and-fifty. Very reasonable. Let's leave a big tip, shall we? My place hr a nightcap?
-No, man. I'm gonna bail.
-You like Huey Lewis and the News?
-Hey, Halberstam?
-Yes, Owen?
-Why are there copies of the Style section all over the place? Do you have a dog? A chow or something?
-No, Owen.
-Is that a raincoat?
-You think so?
-You'll look like you consciously worked for the look.
-How can he lie like that? How can he pull that shit?
-What shit? Now where do we have reservations at? I mean I'm not really hungry, but I would like to have reservations somewhere.
-I just don't see how someone, anyone, can appear that way and yet be involved in such total shit. How can you be so fucking, I don't know, cool about it?
-Is it over?
-They still have to give 'em refreshments laced with mind-altering drugs.
-You are a fanatic.
-Alice? You gotta make him do the start-up with Teddy and me.
-"Make" him?
-I'm just screwed.
-You know what he's like. He just wants to work on stuff that's cool.
-You don't wanna move, do you?
-I can't help it. I feel like they'd do anything to keep their --
-I think I kind of lost it. I was just so thrilled to be talking to the richest, most powerful... 'Didn't know I even cared about that stuff.
-A lot of what Larry says is true. They just clone stuff, or reverse engineer it, and everybody gets stuck with their inferior version cause they --
-It's important.
-If he's really a bully, he won't cop to it, anyway.
-When I was a kid? And he was moving us all over the place? I spent all my time writing stuff on Outpost 1.0. I thought Gary Boyd was the greatest.
-If my dad'd leveled with me like that even once... The weird thing is, my fantasy he could somehow be like the old Gary? It's his fantasy, too.
-I think that's great, Milo. I do.
-...But?
-Didn't you visit the campus?
-I forgot. That's why you have to help me decide.
-No way. You have this -- destiny.
-C'mon, I wouldn't have a destiny without you. My destiny would be dying at 20. From eating --
-Don't bring that up. Like a different girlfriend would'd've let you die?
-When's Brian coming for the TV?
-That took some fun out of --
-You know he's never been anybody's counselor before?
-To our new life. ...What's wrong?
-That's what I need to ask you. You know you can't keep anything from me.
-It's the way he said it. Just the way my dad did, when he was caught in a lie. That's how you knew you were onto something ugly.
-What would it mean, anyway? If he didn't write it?
-He's your boss. He's not your --
-I know, I know.
-If you can't deal with him on that basis, you better get a new counselor.
-Isn't that -- extreme?
-I mean, if one little comment from Gary is gonna upset you this much --
-What!
-Teddy was killed last night.
-What're you -- what?
-Are you saying you think they had something to do with his death? Nelson said it was an airtight case.
-I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe -- maybe they hired those guys.
-I can't see Outpost putting its reputation in the hands of people like that.
-I don't know! I just know it was Teddy's code. All these ideas flying in from everywhere. You know how he says "Any kid working in his garage can put us out of business?" It's like they know what every kid's doing.
-They hack into people's programs?
-It isn't a broadcast studio. It's -- a surveillance post or something. That's why they have the dishes on top.
-You're scaring me. I think we should just go.
-Go where? You can't get away from people like this.
-"Like this?" It's Gary you're talking about.
-You think I don't know that?
-Milo. Why would he --
-How should I know? "Solving a problem," I guess. Or needing to control everything. I don't know. I've gotta get in there.
-Even if all this were true. There're 20 other buildings. All of them filled with computers and --
-It's the only one with dishes on the roof. The studio's a front. That's why they keep postponing its opening. ...gotta get in there.
-Milo, you told me those DOJ Agents are all over the place. How could they hope to hide a surveillance post? And how can you get in there, anyway? With the cameras and the swipe cards --
-I can't just walk away!
-You can't just walk in, either.
-They stop the construction work at six or seven. The parking lot's mostly clear by two or three in the morning. Even the early Geeks don't get there before five.
-I know how to get in there. But you've gotta help me.
-...Whaddo I do?
-It's almost nine, I've been so worried! What did you see in there?
-Nothing.
-It's what they said it is. An unfinished broadcast studio. You were right... I just drove to Seattle and back.
-...Why?
-The Justice Department guy who came to the apartment when --
-I remember.
-After I broke into 21 -- which was insane, thank God they didn't catch me! -- I just drove around. Trying to figure out what possessed me. You know what? I've been putting my own guilt on Gary.
-Guilt?
-If I'd stayed down there, maybe this wouldn't've happened.
-That was -- different.
-Where were you? You know you can't keep anything from me.
-Look at this.
-What?
-Why doesn't he ask us to his party. He's never even met you.
-He has thousands of employees, Milo --
-It's for the Museum. He knows you're a painter. If anybody should be invited --
-Milo --
-I know you think I'm too attached to him, but still. I am close to Gary. And you're the most meaningful person in my life. I'm going back to the Comix place, why should I be killing myself.
-Are you gonna tell me where you went?
-No. No. I sent an E-mail to somebody, just now. To tell her how I feel about you. You know I'm clueless, without you. You know I --
-Great!
-You look beautiful.
-Yeah? Give me a goodbye kiss.
-...What?
-Milo?
-Don't we have any chopsticks?
-Here we go.
-...wanna savor this.
-It's gonna get cold.
-Right. Wait. A toast.
-'Didn't mention he was going to the Justice Department?
-No.
-Not like him, is it? To do a thing like that without telling you. You're not losing your hold on him, are you?
-He'll tell me when he gets home.
-That'll be a test, won't it?
-Instead of busting my chops you should do something about that girl. Fire her. Or something.
-Lisa's an extremely valuable member of the Skywire team. We've got our eyes on her. You keep yours on Milo.
-He said it made sense that Gary's code was like Teddy's, that that cliché about great minds was true. Said it was all about his own guilt. Plus, he has a tendency to get Gary mixed-up with his dad once in a while. It always passes.
-He wasn't acting?
-Don't worry, Milo. I'm here as a friend. Or maybe a supplicant.
-Right... What's that mean again?
-Beggar. We're at a disadvantage with Outpost. Our experts aren't as smart as theirs. Sometimes we can't tell which technologies pose the threat of a monopoly. We need a really smart guy to help us pick our fights. I'm taking a shot in the dark, here. I can offer you 32,000 a year, a Buick. I'm hoping you've got a feeling it's the right
-It's just -- I kind of feel the need to do something with my ability. Create something...
-Mr. Barton, do you remember me?
-...It's -- Milo, isn't it?
-Yes sir. I need to talk to you.
-Milo?
-Yeah. Hi. Thank you for seeing me.
-What seems to be the problem? You look a little upset.
-Milo?
-My friend, my best friend, Teddy, was killed in Silicon Valley.
-My goodness.
-It was racially motivated. He's Chinese. He was. And... I know sometimes the FBI gets involved with that. Don't they?
-If there's a Civil Rights violation. But generally we let the local police and DA do their work first.
-I -- just wanna help bring these guys to justice. They're neo-Nazis.
-Let me look into it, see what's being done. Frankly, it's not my area.
-'Just didn't know who else to talk to.
-And Outpost? You're happy there?
-You're living here?
-'Thought if I relocated it could help my case. I'm writing programs for the local public access station. Where any whack-job with 100 bucks gets his own show? God, does it suck. Can you help me?
-Well I parked illegally. See y'later?
-This is the biggest Beta demo in like the history of software. You'd be my partner.
-You can't pre-empt Yoga, that's our biggest show.
-Will I get to work for Outpost?
-No. But you can write your own ticket in the Valley after this. We're gonna bring down Outpost.
-What?
-Okay.
-Great. Great! We need to drag a lot of heavy stuff in front of the door --
-What?!
-You're interfaced with our dish.
-Is it your software?
-What?!
-...When did you know?
-That's gotta kill him, right?
-Outpost was his baby, sure. On the other hand, we just learned Gary Boyd owns the Skywire satellites. Personally.
-Conglomerates're lined up to finance the launch of the remaining satellites. They'll pay him a huge premium to get on-line.
-That'd change with a criminal indictment.
-There's no hard evidence he knew about this. Anybody who could implicate him seems to've vanished.
-Isn't there a stigma? Bankrolling this guy?
-Stigma? Larry! 60 billion buys you some slack in this world.
-And the kid who wrote Skywire -- then gave it away? They're calling him the digital Robin Hood.
-Milo. Surprised he's not your guest.
-We tried!
-Milo? I'm Danny.
-'Couldn't convince Teddy to come?
-He's pretty tight with his family.
-We could move 'em up here.
-Who's that?
-...Hello?
-Milo? Gary Boyd. I'm hoping you and your friend can come up here. We've made some amazing strides in digital convergence. I'd love to show them to you.
-Cool!
-Would you like a Coke or something?
-You know a lot about art, I guess.
-I've only shown this to three other people. I bought 200, we've launched 12 so far. I keep the coordinates in this room. It's left over from SDI. Reagan's Star Wars technology? They orbit 426 miles up.
-Low enough to relay internet traffic.
-Among other things... We know convergence is the real super-highway: all the PC's, TV's, phones, etc. linked together. Why cram it into a cable if you can use the whole sky?
-The content filer has t'be written into the media files so bits coming off the satellite can be read by multiplatforms. Really, omniplatforms. Including whatever new hardware emerges.
-It needs a more object-oriented language. This doesn't scale, does it?
-When you get to a certain age, you start wondering. About your legacy. I doubt you even remember Outpost 1.0 --
-I do!
-No! Just waiting for my counselor to come by and introduce himself.
-'Think I should buy some originals?
-...Do I?
-Somebody said I'm just another Philistine. With reproductions.
-That's insane. You're ahead of your time.
-Could work with a new switch. There may be a few more things hidden.
-How's it going?
-Maybe I'm going too fast.
-It's okay. Really.
-You did this -- overnight?
-Milo. What's up?
-Well -- you sent for me.
-You really wrote this just today?
-What're you implying.
-Everything I do is under scrutiny. The questions they ask, trying to make anything strategic look sordid. I'm confused. Doesn't everybody in business try to get ahead?
-I'm sure.
-It scales, don't you think?
-I heard what happened.
-Had you talked to him much lately?
-Just once. 'Guess I was worried we didn't have anything to talk about, since work was off-limits. Non- disclosure.
-Did you?
-Talk about work? Never!
-I meant did you find other stuff to --
-Oh. Yeah.
-You've been coming in early.
-Wow. You must have 20,000 lines of code there...
-Been thinking about the push mechanism in the handler. And it came over me: it's in the wrong place.
-The wrong place?
-Gary, hi.
-You look a little tired.
-I'm okay. It's going well!
-'Have a look?
-Why did you move around so much? When you were a kid.
-...My dad was a compulsive gambler. Only he didn't think he was. That applied to guys who didn't have a "system." "Losers," who played games of chance. He could "read" people, so chance had nothing to do with it. No matter how deep a hole he dug himself, he'd give you the whole speech. And you'd better not point out the obvious. His creditors
-No. I just went deeper into the machine. Preferred being the geek to having to explain. Lying would've been worse.
-...Worse?
-Cause he was a liar. And I hated him. "Get your head out of that machine, wise up to the real world." The more he mocked me the deeper I went. Cause if being savvy meant being like him -- Guess that's why I'm kind of clueless, even now. Didn't cultivate my conniving side. 'Not sure I even have one.
-That's great! Thanks.
-"Dear Lisa. I've enjoyed working with you. I'd be lying if I didn't say I find you attractive. But in my heart I know that Alice..." You left my party to send E-mail?
-You could've handwritten it.
-I'm not much good at handwriting. Or parties.
-Gary, I --
-I hope you know what you mean to me. Not just because of what you're doing. Because of who you are.
-I'm pretty close. But when I wrote the last contact switches, it wiped out a piece of the content filer. You know what it's like, writing software.
-This is good. Who did it?
-'Start-up not 50 miles from here. Kid's on Prozac.
-What'd the girl say?
-Hasn't affected his work, though.
-Help me change the Skywire settings. Add five degrees to each satellite coordinate.
-Gary, don't worry, we --
-Okay, #2.
-Ready for number three?
-Let's go.
-Longitude 109 --
-Wait... He knows.
-What?
-'Knows I'm altering the coordinates. Let's jump to #12.
-Gary?
-All the companies know. The faculties tell 'em. At the target schools.
-I think you should go.
-You do?
-I know you lost all his work. Maybe I could come down here and --
-You are naive. Look at your employment contract: you can't work anywhere else in this field for at least few years. Not that I don't miss you.
-Just thought his work should go on.
-He was on the verge of something, too. He was gonna show us the next day. He said "The answer's not in the box, it's in the band." Know what it means?
-It's only meaningful when you've got 40,000 lines of code to back it up.
-Man, could he write code. Totally elegant. He had his own style.
-Your app kind of blew mine out of the water.
-We'll come up with the next big thing.
-...You wanna work -- here?
-You guys'll be using Teddy's old space, is that okay?
-Could it be a glitch? Something the construction workers caused?
-Unlikely. All 14 cameras are frozen. Do we call Randy and Phil? Tell 'em there may have been a break-in?
-Every entry was authorized.
-Keep looking.
-What're we looking for?
-Delbert seems to enter #21 twice. Without leaving the first time.
-Get the backslash, the colon, keys kids don't use but geeks do. What would Milo want in here, anyway?
-You calling Phil and Randy?
-Come with me.
-Now what are we doing? I don't get any of this shit!
-Lisa.
-You know my name.
-You know mine.
-You're famous around here.
-I'm getting a teacher's pet rep.
-I wouldn't worry about it. You've gotta figure most people around here were their teachers' pets.
-...Were you?
-We moved around so much I barely knew my teachers.
-Me too! Were you an Army brat or something?
-...Something like that. Yeah.
-Did I say something?
-What've you got there?
-Graphical interfaces. For Skywire? I'm s'posed to coordinate with you.
-Cool!
-Did you wanna be alone?
-They just pushed up the schedule on Skywire apps. How fast are you going?
-"There is no second place." Plus every time I get jammed-up, Gary has an inspiration. Is it like that with your counselor?
-Mine's not the CEO. He barely remembers to take a shower.
-Right, right. But does he ever just, like, hand you code?
-Maybe once. I re-wrote it, anyway.
-You're compulsive.
-Mmm-more like -- I have a little trouble. Trusting people.
-Why's that?
-So, when you were talking about wishing people were more like computers. Was that then? Or now?
-That's great. I -- didn't know.
-I snuck into #21.
-Why would you do a thing like --
-You thought about it too. You've been suspicious for a while. But it's not happening in there. It's happening in the Day Care.
-It's easy to know who the smart geeks are, the schools tell 'em. They upload medical files, school records, pharmacy files. They'd be happy just to steal code forever. But when a program gets close to fruition. Like Teddy. He was almost there.
-But why would they --?
-I know why you're so secretive. Why you won't let anybody near you. I know what he did to you.
-Is that my -- scenario? Tell me.
-They'd frame him.
-He's out of prison?
-...Milo?
-Hmm?
-I always felt if a -- boy I liked ever found out -- he'd run. He'd think I was unclean.
-What about the FBI?
-They've got this guy in the DOJ, maybe others. We tell the wrong person, it's over.
-Who can we trust?
-Do we post it on the Net?
-The mainstream media. TV, or a newsmagazine.
-Right. But Gary's tied-in to a lot of media conglomerates. Have to be careful who we pick.
-We could cross-reference a data base on media ownership. But not on our own computers. Not even at home.
-He's buying up pretty much everything: cable companies, baby bells, picture libraries, museum rights, film archives... Getting ready for Skywire.
-What about "60 Minutes."
-Yeah, they dig stuff like this. "CBS News has partnered with Outpost Information Systems in a cable news network due to launch Fall of 2001."
-But still, you can't say CBS wouldn't love to break something like --
-Time?
-How close are you?
-What?
-We can't just assume they're standing by to receive Skywire 12 months from launch. I'd have to write in an aglet.
-A what?
-It's how on-line services push logos they wanna sell you. You don't ask for 'em, they just appear. 'Have to work on it somewhere besides my office or my house. And then the quality of the broadcast wouldn't exactly be digital, that's 12 months away.
-But they'd still get the idea, right?
-You'd have to design a graphic interface to make the data pop. Maybe some audio, too. To tie it all in to Gary. How long would that take you?
-It's a standard GUI. Once I've got a concept, it's maybe three day's work.
-Gary knows I'm close on Skywire. We have to do this fast.
-Before they kill somebody else, too.
-Oh, man. I'd have to get into Gary's house. To get the satellite positions.
-You mean -- break in?
-I don't know --
-Why were you so careless?
-Why were you snooping in my office?
-'Think everybody in this place is here the same reason we are?
-I told Teddy about you.
-What'd he say?
-I felt guilty. 'Cause I "owed so much" to Alice. But even then I was starting to wonder. Is it so great to be so consumed by this one thing that you let another person do your thinking for you? If you have a lucrative skill, it's all anybody wants from you. You grow older but you don't grow up. You turn into --
-Great. I knocked off the aglet, as soon as I get a passable version of Skywire we're there.
-The dishes are juiced up, too.
-Thank God.
-Milo? Shrot suspects somebody broke into #21. I was in his office when he was reviewing the card readouts.
-They know I broke in. Alice helped me. Shrot's not one of them. He's blundering into this on his own.
-He doesn't know about the Day Care.
-Hardly anybody does, that's the beauty part. No cameras, the DOJ doesn't bother with it, it's accessed by a tunnel they boast about. You know the best place to hide a leaf?
-Yeah, that's old, in a tree.
-Oh.
-Same with the excerpts I'm choosing: they'll play against any of the images you described.
-Perfect. How am I gonna get away from the party long enough to --
-You could always say you have to go the bathroom.
-That's lame, isn't it?
-Does he know you know?
-He suspects I know something. I think he was sort of -- explaining himself to me, in case I do. We have to go in tonight. I'm two hours from a Beta version. But I've gotta go home for an hour.
-Why?!
-She called to apologize. I said I was pulling an all-nighter. She said then come home just to say Hi. Which I always do when we fight, it's suspicious if I don't.
-Please don't go.
-Meet me at the other location.
-They know, I had no choice. Get out of the house now! Do you have a laptop?
-It's three years old, it --
-Bring it to the other location.
-Maybe it's the satellite.
-...He knows.
-What?
-Latitude 47 degrees.
-...You got my E-mail?
-And your phone messages. You wanna do what you do, it's not a crime.
-Is that how Larry feels?
-Wanted to say goodbye to him...
-We rented a loft in Sunnyvale. You know what's the bad part? We can't talk about work anymore. We're competitors! The venture capitalists made us sign like 100 confidentiality forms.
-But these, like, White Supremacists trashed my office, last week.
-They're in the neighborhood. They usually hassle Vietnamese grocers.
-Jesus, Teddy.
-I'm cool. They didn't touch the machine. Or my disks. Probably didn't know what they were. So, you a Moonie yet? Milo?
-I met this girl.
-What? Come on. Is it serious?
-I don't know.
-Did you tell Alice?
-No! I keep thinking it'll go away. But there's this -- connection. She's been hacking since she was little, she had to move around a lot. Plus I see her every day, we're working on the same program. She's -- beautiful.
-A beautiful geek? I don't wanna sound paranoid, or like a pig, but what're the chances?
-What d'you mean?
-I dunno. I guess Larry's got me totally suspicious of that place.
-What does that mean?
-Milo, geeks don't have two girlfriends. Most don't have one.
-So -- how far are we from the campus?
-So how'd you like the house?
-His Snapples were in alphabetical order.
-Every geek here's got a thing for Lisa. But that's about the biggest reaction she's had to anybody.
-She's a programmer?
-Heavy graphical background, doing design-interface for Skywire apps. You'll be working with her.
-I've got a girlfriend, remember?
-What're they building?
-#21. Way behind schedule. It's top- secret, but everybody knows it's a digital broadcast space. They see the dishes on top, the fiber optics going in.
-Gary's not into fiber optics. He's betting everything on the satellites.
-We tried the big vaporware number, Gary, it's no-sale.
-Can we buy into their IPO? Or is that a Justice Dept. problem?
-Maybe he'll get back to work.
-Speaking of which...
-Did you download Corey? In San Jose?
-Damn. 'Have to go back over there. Be so much easier if we could walk in the front door.
-What is it?
-Not much. Glorified cherry bomb. Right by the civil defense sign? Some geek's idea of irony. I been saying we need a camera in this hall.
-There's nothing in this hall. Someone's pulling your chain, as usual.
-That kid's the great white hope.
-I could get it out of him.
-Who're these guys?
-Where is he?
-Fellas, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave here now.
-Wait a second. I'm the one who found out he was mucking around in here in the first place.
-You seem surprised to see me.
-I thought you'd quit while you were ahead.
-What, and watch all my earnings go... Down the toilet?
-What do you want, Mr... Cunningham, was it?
-Call me Ritchie, Miss Fagina. May I call you Alotta... Please?
-You may.
-Your boss, Number Two, I understand that cat's involved in big underground drills.
-Virtucon's main interest is in cable television, but they do have a subterranean construction division, yes. How did you know?
-I didn't, baby, you just told me.
-It's for the mining industry, Mr. Cunningham. We can talk about business later. But first, let me slip into something more comfortable.
-Come in.
-I'd rather talk about Number Two.
-May I wash you?
-In Japan, men come first and women come second.
-Or sometimes not at all.
-Care for some saki?
-How do you feel, Mr. Cunningham?
-'Pardon me for being rude, It was not me, it was my food. It just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below.'
-That's very clever. Do you know any other poems?
-'Milk, milk, lemonade. Round the corner fudge is made. Stick your finger in the hole, And out comes a tootsie roll!'
-Thank you, that's beautiful. To your health.
-To my health.
-Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
-Is it about my teeth?
-Yes.
-Damn. What exactly do you do at Virtucon?
-I'll tell you all in due time, after we make love. But first, tell me another poem.
-I think it was Wordsworth who penned this little gem: 'Press the button, pull the chain, out comes a chocolate choo-choo train.'
-Austin Powers? Hi, I'm Andy Warhol.
-Hey, how are you?
-Hungry.
-I'm going to paint this can of soup and become famous and not give you any credit for it.
-If you can become famous, everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame, man.
-"Fifteen minutes of fame?" I'm going to use that quote and not give you any credit for that, either.
-Hello, Austin. This is Basil Exposition, Chief of British Intelligence. You're Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, and you're with Agent Mrs. Kensington. The year is 1967, and you're talking on a picture phone.
-We know all that, Exposition.
-I just wanted to be extremely clear so that everyone knows what's going on at any given time. We've just received word that Dr. Evil, the ultimate square, is planning to take over the world.
-Dr. Evil? I thought I put him in jail for good.
-Just where you'd never think to look for him. We'll be there.
-Good luck, Austin.
-Thank you.
-Oh, and Austin...
-Yes?
-Be careful.
-Where am I?
-You're in the Ministry of Defense. It's 1997. You've been cryogenically frozen for thirty years.
-WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
-The shouting is a temporary side- effect of the unfreezing process.
-Yes, I'm having trouble controlling... THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!
-You might also experience a slight fever, dry mouth, and flatulence at moments of extreme relaxation. Austin, this is Commander Gilmour, Strategic Command, and General Borschevsky, Russian Intelligence.
-Russian Intelligence? Are you mad?
-A lot's happened since you were frozen, Austin. The cold war's over.
-Thank God. Those capitalist dogs will finally pay for their crimes against the people, hey Comrades?
-We won, Austin.
-When do I begin?
-Immediately. You'll be working with Ms. Kensington.
-You mean Mrs. Kensington?
-Vanessa's one of our top agents.
-Yes, well...Agent Kensington will get you set up. She's very dedicated. Perhaps, a little too dedicated. She's got a bit of a bug up her ass. Good luck, Austin, the world's depending on you.
-Thank you, Exposition.
-Oh, and Austin...
-Yes?
-Be careful.
-Hello Austin. Hello Vanessa. This is Basil Exposition, from British Intelligence. There's a company in Las Vegas called Virtucon that we think may be linked to Dr. Evil. Many of the Virtucon executives gamble at the hotel/casino where you'll be staying. That's the first place you should look. Well, I'm off to the chat rooms.
-Thank you, Exposition.
-Oh, and Austin...
-Yes?
-Hello, Austin, this is Basil Exposition from British Intelligence. Thank you for confirming the link between Dr. Evil and Virtucon. Find out what part Virtucon plays in something called Project Vulcan. I'll need you and Vanessa to get on that immediately.
-Right away, Exposition.
-She's working on another lead right now.
-Then you'll have to go it alone. Good luck.
-Thank you, Basil.
-Oh, and Austin...
-Yes?
-Let me remind you that because of the unfreezing process you might experience flatulence at moments of extreme relaxation.
-Oh, yes. Thank you.
-There's one more thing, Austin.
-Yes?
-Be careful.
-Hello, Exposition.
-Austin, Vanessa, let me bring you up to speed. Dr. Evil has high- jacked a nuclear warhead from Kreplachistan and is holding the world ransom for one-hundred billion dollars. If the world doesn't pay up in four days, he's threatening to destroy the world.
-Thank you, Exposition. Only two things, scare me, and one is nuclear war.
-What's the other?
-Excuse me?
-What's the other thing you're scared of?
-Carnies.
-What?
-Circus folk. Nomads, you know. They smell like cabbage.
-Indeed... If we could get back to the business at hand. It's one thing to have a warhead, it's quite another thing to have the missiles to launch it.
-Maybe these photographs are the last piece of that puzzle. I've uncovered the details on Project Vulcan. It's a new subterranean warhead delivery system.
-My God, Austin, what have you done?
-I'm sorry, Basil, I thought she was a man.
-Damn it, man! You're talking about my mother!
-All right, Austin, I think you should go.
-I think if everyone were honest, they'd confess that the lady looks exactly like a man in drag.
-I'm leaving! Oh, and Austin?
-Yes, Basil?
-Be careful.
-Well, Austin, you've stopped Dr. Evil from destroying the world with his subterranean nuclear probe, and somehow you and Agent Kensington managed to escape unscathed from his evil lair.
-I'd say that about sums it up, Exposition.
-Congratulations, Field Agent Kensington!
-Here's the number of my dentist, he's first rate. Ring him up, he'll look after you.
-But, wait, I-- you got me again. Oh, and Austin--
-Yes Basil?
-Hey Austin Powers, it's me, Mick Jagger.
-Hey, Mick!
-Are you more satisfied now sexually, Austin?
-Well, you can't always get what you want.
-"You can't always get what you want!" That's a great title for a song! I'm gonna write that, and it'll be a big hit.
-Good on ya, man.
-Good afternoon, Mr. Powers, I'm the Destructacon 5000. I'm programmed to prevent you from progressing beyond this point. You might as well surrender. Resistance is futile. Your odds of survival are 23,763,273 to...
-Well, Destructacon 5000, you have quite a head on your shoulders, I dare to coin.
-Yes, I am programmed to answer any question.
-Really? Let me ask you this. What is love?
-That does not compute.
-Why not? It's a question.
-What's wrong with your hand?
-I'm sorry, baby, I'm just not grocking your head space.
-Dr. Evil, do you really expect them to pay?
-I've got you, Dr. Evil!
-Well done, Mr. Powers. We're not so different, you and I. It's true, you're British, and I'm Belgian. You have a full head of hair, mine is slightly receding. You're thin, I'm about forty pounds overweight. OK, we are different, I'm not making a very good point. However, isn't it ironic, Mr. Powers, that the very things you stand for-- swinging, free love, parties,
-No, man, what we swingers were rebelling against were uptight squares like you, whose bag was money and world domination. We were innocent, man. If we'd known the consequences of our sexual liberation, we would have done things differently, but the spirit would have remained the same. It's freedom, man.
-Your freedom has cause more pain and suffering in the world than any plan I ever dreamed of. Face it, freedom failed.
-That's why right now is a very groovy time, man. We still have freedom, but we also have responsibility.
-It seems the tables have turned again, Dr. Evil.
-Not really. Kill the little bastard. See what I care.
-Mr. Powers, my job is to acclimate you to the Nineties. You know, a lot's changed since 1967.
-Well, as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection, while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound.
-My mother's told me all about you.
-If it's a lie, goddamn her. It it's the truth, goddamn me. God, I hope that's witty. How's your mum?
-OK, OK, man, don't get heavy, I'll sign. Just to get things moving, baby.
-Listen, Mr. Powers, I look forward to working with you, but do me a favor and stop calling me baby. You can address me as Agent Kensington. We have to leave immediately. We've preserved your private jet just as you left it. It's waiting at Heathrow Airport.
-Pretty groovy Jumbo Jet, eh? How does a hot chick like you end up working at the Ministry of Defense?
-I went to Oxford and excelled in several subjects, but I ended up specializing in foreign languages. I wanted to travel -- see the world. In my last year I was accepted into the M.O.D. in the Cultural Studies sector. I thought I was off on an exciting career, but my job was to read everything printed in every country. It's very boring. My
-That's fascinating, Vanessa. Listen, why don't we go into the back and shag?
-I beg your pardon?
-I've been frozen for thirty years, man, I want to see if my bits and pieces are still working.
-Excuse me?
-My wedding tackle.
-I'm sorry?
-My meat and two veg.
-Mr. Powers, please. I know that you must be a little confused, but we have a very serious situation at hand. I would appreciate it if you'd concentrate on our mission and give your libido a rest.
-Have you ever made love to a Chigro?
-A Chigro?
-You know, a Chigro... part Chinese, part Negro... Chigro.
-We don't use the term 'Negro' anymore. It's considered offensive.
-Brrrr! She must be frigid. There's two things I know about life: one, Americans will never take to soccer. Two, Swedish girls and stewardesses love to shag! They're shag-mad, man! Let me ask you a question, Vanessa, and be honest.
-Sure.
-Do I make you horny?
-What?
-Do I make you horny? Randy, you know. To you, am I eros manifest?
-I hope this is part of the unfreezing process.
-Listen, Vanessa, I'm a swinger... That's what I do, I swing.
-You've preserved my Jag! Smashing!
-Let me guess. The floss is garotte wire, the toothpaste contains plastic explosives, and the toothbrush is the detonation device.
-No, actually. I don't know how to put this really. Well, there have been fabulous advances in the field of dentistry.
-Hey, who put this in here? Someone's playing a prank on me! Honestly, this isn't mine.
-I'm sure.
-I love Las Vegas, man. Oh, I forgot my x-ray glasses.
-Here, use mine.
-I can't see a bloody thing.
-Why did you leave so soon?
-Good morning, luv, who are you on the phone with?
-Good morning, Vanessa! I hope you have on clean underwear.
-Why?
-A limousine has just pulled up.
-Hello, hello. That's Dr. Evil's cat.
-How do you know?
-Let's go get him!
-He's too well-protected right now.
-We can't just sit here, Austin.
-Let me tell you a story. There's these two bulls on top of a hill checking out some foxy cows in the meadow below. The young bull says, 'hey, why don't we run down the hill and shag us a cow?', and the wise old bull replies, 'no, why don't we walk down the hill and shag all the cows?'
-I don't get it.
-Well, you know... cows, and shagging.
-Unfortunately, while you told that stupid story, Dr. Evil has escaped.
-I hate having my picture taken.
-Fancy a nibble?
-Watch out, you're on my hair!
-Sorry. Move your hand to the left. There you go. Gorgeous.
-I haven't had fun like that since college.
-I'm sorry.
-Why?
-Always wanting to have fun, that's you in a nutshell.
-You're smashed, Vanessa.
-I am not.
-Oh, yes you are.
-I can't. You're drunk.
-It's not that I'm drunk, I'm just beginning to see what my Mum was talking about. What was my mother like back in the Sixties? I'm dying to know.
-Really, Austin!
-Austin, may I have a word with you?
-Of course, luv.
-Listen, I know I'm just being neurotic, but I can't shake this suspicious feeling about that Italian secretary, Ms. Fagina. I mean, I don't want to sound paranoid, but I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I have some jealousy issues. You went to her penthouse. It makes me feel so small to give into these insecurities, but I can't help but
-Don't be sorry. You're right to be suspicious. I shagged her. I shagged her rotten.
-I can't believe you made love to her just like that. Did you use protection?
-Of course, I had my nine-millimeter automatic.
-No, did you use a condom?
-Only sailors use condoms, man.
-Not in the Nineties.
-Well they should, filthy beggars, they go from port to port. Alotta meant nothing to me.
-Well, it means something to me. If you want us to have a relationship, you've got to be a one-woman man.
-It was just a shag, Vanessa. You're everything to me.
-Hello, luv.
-Thirty years of political and social upheaval. The fall of the Berlin wall, a female Prime Minister of England, the abolishment of Apartheid, a fascinating tapestry of human strum und drang.
-Yeah, I can't believe Liberace was gay. Women loved him, man. I didn't see that one coming.
-Basil was very concerned to know where you were last night.
-Out and about, doing odds and sods.
-Since I've been unfrozen, I've had a rancid taste in my mouth. Do you have a piece of gum?
-Do you think she's prettier than I?
-Who?
-You know who.
-No! Don't lay your hang-ups on me, Vanessa. You're being very trippy.
-Austin, we don't look anything like our photo badges.
-Thank God, Austin, we made it.
-Does that make you horny?
-First, I plan to soil myself. Then, I plan to regroup and think about the next move. Any thoughts?
-All right, I get it. I have bad teeth. You have to understand, in Britain in the Sixties you could be a sex symbol and still have bad teeth. It didn't matter.
-No, no, no. We'll use the floss to get to the ledge.
-Not a good time to lose one's head.
-Indeed.
-That's not the way to get ahead in life.
-Yes.
-It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.
-Shut up.
-What do we do now?
-We've got a freaked out square and world annihilation is his bag. You go get help. I'm gonna stay here and keep an eye on the bad Doctor.
-I'm not going anywhere. We're a team.
-Too right, youth. That's why I need you to lead the troops.
-I'll hurry back.
-Listen, Vanessa, whatever happens, I just want you to know that I feel bad about shagging that Italian girl. I had a sip of sake and all of the sudden, I don't know what happened. The whole time I was shagging her-- I mean really shagging her, I mean it was crazy, I was like a huge mechanical piston, in and out, IN and
-Austin, what's your point?
-Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that if you want me to be a one-woman man, well, that's just groovy, because... I love you.
-It's not what it looks like, Vanessa. At ease, boys.
-Likewise.
-I can explain. They attacked me. Gas came out of her...well, and then they... and I...
-I believe you, Austin. Let's go.
-Follow me! We're going to have to jump over the rail!
-Are you crazy?
-Austin, I'm coming with you.
-I'm going it alone this time, Vanessa. I have a follow-up visit with the Evil Doctor.
-I have something to tell you.
-Lay it on me.
-I love you, Austin.
-That's fab, because I love you, too, Vanessa.
-Kiss me.
-Danger Powers, personal effects.
-Actually, my name's Austin Powers.
-It says here, name Danger Powers.
-Danger's my middle name.
-OK, Austin Danger Powers: One blue crushed-velvet suit. One frilly lace cravat. One gold medallion with peace symbol. One pair of Italian shoes. One pair of tie-dyed socks, purple. One vinyl recording album: Tom Jones, Live at Las Vegas. One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.
-That's not mine.
-One credit card receipt for Swedish- made penis enlarger pump, signed Austin Powers.
-I'm telling you, baby, that's not mine.
-One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
-I don't even know what this is. This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
-Hi, folks. You're entering a restricted zone. Can I see your security badges?
-Everything seems to be in order.
-Here, have a piece of gum.
-Don't mind if I do.
-No, no, I want you to have it, even if it's my last piece.
-No, no, I want you to have it, even if it's my last piece.
-Noooooooooooooo!
-Commander, this is Slater in SoWest Com Three. We have a potential bogey with erratic vectoring and an unorthodox entry angle.
-Is it one of ours?
-No. Log Com Bird Twelve says its metalurg recon analysis is a standard alloy, not stealthy, not carbon- composite. It does have an odd shape, sir.
-What are you saying, son?
-Oh my God, he's back.
-In many ways, Bob's Big Boy never left, sir. He's always offered the same high quality meals at competitive prices.
-Shut up.
-Should we scramble TacHQ for an intercept?
-Commander, I have to log it...
-But my design was perfect! Your autonomic functions were shut down, and even though your arm wasn't frozen, the aging was retarded, therefore your right arm is only slightly older than the left.
-But Dr. Evil, all you need to do is-- --work with this tennis ball. Squeeze it for twenty minutes a day. A few months of that and it'll be just as strong as the other arm...
-We could not anticipate feline complications due to the reanimation process&emdash;
-Ahhhhhhhhh!
-We've got a lot of work to do.
-Someone help me! I'm still alive, only I'm very badly burned.
-Some of you I know, some of you I'm meeting for the first time.
-Hello up there! Anyone! Can someone call an ambulance? I'm in quite a lot of pain.
-Ow! You shot me!
-Right. Okay. Moving on.
-Remember when we froze your semen, you said that if it looked like you weren't coming back to try and make you a son so that a part of you would live forever?
-Yes.
-Well, after a few years, we got sort of impatient. Dr. Evil, I want you to meet your son.
-My son?
-Austin Powers is getting too close. He must be neutralized. Any suggestions?
-Breathtaking, Frau. These automated strumpets are the perfect bait for the degenerate Powers.
-Quite impressive.
-Thank you, Herr Doctor.
-Release the sharks! All the sharks have had laser beams attached to their heads. I figure every creature deserves a warm meal.
-Dr. Evil?
-Yes, what is it? You're interrupting my moment of triumph.
-It's about the sharks. Since you were frozen, they've been placed on the Endangered Species List. We tried to get some, but it will take months to clear up the red tape.
-What is it now?
-Well, we experimented with lasers, but you would be surprised at how heavy they are. They actually outweighed the piranha themselves, and the fish, well, they sank to the bottom and died.
-I have one simple request-- sharks with friggin' laser beams attached to their heads, and it can't be done? Remind me again why I pay you people? What do we have?
-Sea bass.
-Right.
-They're mutated sea bass.
-Really? Are they ill-tempered?
-That was great, Mr. Keon, Dave. Thank you. OK, group, we have two new member. Say hello to Scott and his father, Mr.... Ehville?
-No, the boy's right. I really am evil.
-Actually, the boy's quite astute. I am trying to kill him. My Evil Associates have cautioned against it, so here he is, unfortunately, alive.
-We've heard from Scott, now let's hear from you.
-The details of my life are quite inconsequential.
-Hi.
-Hello, Scott. I'm your father, Dr. Evil. I have a son! I have a son! Everyone, I have a son! Someday, Scott, this will all be yours.
-But Scott, who's going to take over the world when I die?
-An evil vet?
-No. Maybe, like, work in a petting zoo or something.
-An evil petting zoo?
-Scott my boy, come here. How was your day?
-Well, me and a buddy went to the video arcade in town and, like, they don't speak English right, and so my buddy gets into a fight, and he goes 'hey, quit hassling me cause I don't speak French or whatever', and the other guy goes something in Paris talk, and I go 'um, just back off' and he goes 'get out' and I
-Fascinating. What are your plans for this evening?
-Thought I'd stay in. There's a good tittie movie on Skinemax.
-And that's how you want to live your life, is it?
-Scott, I want you to meet Daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers.
-Why are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
-In due time.
-But what if he escapes? Why don't you just shoot him? What are you waiting for?
-I have a better idea. I'm going to put him in an easily-escapable situation involving an overly- elaborate and exotic death.
-Why don't you just shoot him now? Here, I'll get a gun. We'll just shoot him. Bang! Dead. Done.
-Fine. Whatever. Mutated, ill-tempered sea bass it is. Come, let's return to dinner. Close the tank.
-Aren't you going to watch them? They'll get away!
-No, we'll leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, and we'll just assume it all went to plan.
-I have a gun in my room. Give me five seconds, I'll come back and blow their brains out.
-Come, everyone, let us repair to the main chamber. Project Vulcan is about to begin. Scott, are you coming?
-I don't want to.
-Don't you want to see what Daddy does for a living?
-Blow me.
-What did you say?
-Dad, we just made a breakthrough in group!
-I had the group liquidated, you little shit. They were insolent.
-I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab.
-We also own the Franklin mint, which makes decorative hand-painted theme plates for collectors. Some plates, like the Gone With The Wind series, have gone up in value as much as two-hundred and forty percent, but, as with any investment, there is some risk involved.
-Um, Dr. Evil, Prince Charles did have an affair. He admitted it, and they are now divorced, actually.
-Umm, that also has already happened.
-Don't you think we should ask for more than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't that much money these days.
-Virtucon alone makes over nine billion dollars a year.
-Oh, hello Vanessa. How was the flight?
-Great.
-How's Austin?
-He's asleep.
-You didn't...
-I'm proud of you.
-Why?
-Well, God knows he tried, but I've been rather firm with him, Mummy. You didn't tell me he was so obsessed with sex. It's bizarre.
-You can't judge him by modern standards. He's very much a product of his times. In my day he could have any woman he wanted.
-What about his teeth?
-You have to understand, in Britain in the Sixties you could be a sex symbol and still have bad teeth. It didn't matter.
-I just don't see it.
-Just wait. Once Austin gets you in his charms, it's impossible to get out.
-Did you ever...
-Of course not. I was married to your father.
-Did you ever want to?
-You didn't answer my question, Mum.
-No, it's been too long. Best to leave things alone.
-I'm on with a friend! Look, I'd better go. I love you.
-So, Scott, why don't we start with you. Why are you here?
-Well, it's kind of weird.
-We don't judge here.
-OK. Well, I just really met my Dad for the first time three days ago. He was partially frozen for thirty years. I never knew him growing up. He comes back and now he wants me to take over the family business.
-And how do you feel about that?
-What do you want to do, Scott?
-We don't label people here, Scott.
-No, he's really evil.
-I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.
-We're not yet open for business, I'm afraid.
-Shame. I was recommended. By a friend.
-Really?
-Sir August Merryweather? I was looking for something relaxing. Say, a Tuscan hillside in June?
-Normally, we'd be eager to oblige --
-Seriously?
-Of course. Natural weather delivered to your door on demand. Down your phoneline. For limited periods.
-You don't say. How real does it feel?
-As real as you wish. Hot or cold. Humid or dry. Anything you like. Within reason.
-There are limits?
-The technology is brand new. Soon it will be more powerful. We anticipate a huge demand. Leave us your number. We'll be in touch.
-I want you to say the first thing that comes into your head when I say these words. Do you understand ... ? Blue ...
-... bottle ...
-Red ...
-Knight ...
-Black...
-... death ...
-Love...
-Flower ...
-Nature ...
-... preserve...
-Secret ...
-... love...
-Hope...
-... love ...
-Fear ...
-... love ...
-How long have I been here?
-He said if it vanished, he'd know it was ... you who betrayed him. He took a huge risk. The ultimate test.
-Would that I could say the Same.
-I've come to apply for membership in Brolly --
-I so agree. How did you acquire a taste for it?
-You
-Have we met?
-Ah, beautiful. Just as he promised.
-Promised? Who promised?
-Mrs. Peel ... Come quickly. Brolly's been betrayed! I'll tell you everything ... The weather's getting worse and worse ... they're after me ... coming for me ... come quickly!
-May I help you, madam ...
-Mr. John Steed, please.
-I'm afraid that's impossible.
-You are female?
-As you see.
-Then you can't come in.
-I have an appointment.
-No women. Not in Boodles. Not since 1922.
-Sir August ... ? Sir August ... ?
-Quite a collection.
-Your voice -- it's so familiar ...
-Congratulations, Mrs. Peel. You have been a worthy opponent. You have tracked us down. You are within an ace of winning.
-This isn't a game.
-Quite right, but we still make the rules.
-Rules are made to be broken.
-People, too.
-Then who wins?
-Close. We're so hush-hush, even we know nothing about it. Now let's see, there's coconut cake, date and walnut; I recommend the rum baba ...
-Hmmm ...
-My number two. Special assignments. She's --
-How curious ...
-Father will be your controller. Steed here will show you the ropes.
-Welcome to mobile H.Q. Weather's turning quite nasty. Sir August was blown to smithereens. Along with half of Banffshire. The Ministry's worried.
-Would it be possible to use it for military purposes?
-London. The World Council of Ministers meets soon on global defence. If you can control the weather, you control the world.
-I resign.
-You need treatment, Mrs. Peel. You can't resign.
-What are you trying to do to me?
-We want to help...!
-I thought I was a widow. My husband ... the only man I ever loved ... is dead. For the rest of my life I have to live with that.
-The death of Peter Peel was a great loss. To us all ...
-Peter Peel was a first class agent. A senior operative. 'X' department Special operations. He was engaged in top secret research. Top priority. Government approved.
-The Institute ... the funding ...
-Who?
-This is an official matter, Mrs. Peel. No need to take it personally. Where are you going?
-To find out who killed my husband.
-The doors and walls are monitored, Mrs. Peel. This is a very secure establishment.
-About your next assignment, Mrs. Peel ...
-Ahem. As I was saying, perhaps another macaroon ...
-Good luck ... Peter ... Emma.
-You.
-A slight miscalculation -- my face was burned beyond recognition. Fortunately my research into plastics came in handy ...
-Dr. Darling, Peter ... all you ...
-An unholy trinity ...
-You killed my husband.
-For starters. Of course I had to kill the Teddy Bears, as well ...
-Too many cooks --
-Spoil the majority shareholders. In Wonderland Weather. I planned everything, even the Ministry recruiting you ...
-But I found you. All the clues led me here ...
-Of course. I planned that, too.
-But -- why?
-You disappoint me, Emma. Can't you guess? For you. It was all for you ...
-'Our revels now are ended.'
-Think of this as your second wedding feast ...
-I'm already married ...
-You know, I believe she's actually jealous.
-Valentine, listen to me ...
-Right, bridesmaid. Now what have I left out? Oh, yes, I know: the ring.
-That's better. I say, isn't this where you came in? It's impenetrable, by the way ...
-You're mad.
-Such as?
-Destruction of their local weather systems. I can zap a thousand Chernobyls into the air.
-The result would be ...
-Chaos. Transport paralysis. Crop failure. Economic disaster. Frostbite or sunburn ... on a massive scale. You've seen a few samples...
-Then what's stopping you?
-The missing piece of the jigsaw. I tried to get you to give it to me as Peter; I tried to steal it from you as Dr. Darling. As myself I'll be a bit less subtle. With this ring my plan will be complete.
-How Wagnerian ... Do you mean to say you've waited all these years because you couldn't create a chip on your own? That would have amused Peter.
-Speaking of Peter, there's more good news: You won't even have to change your last name. You'll always be Mrs. Peel.
-What are my choices?
-Choices?
-Doctor Peel, I presume?
-I was about to throw in the towel.
-I had a spot of bother at the door.
-I shouldn't wonder. Not a woman inside Boodles since --
-1922. Why the kippers?
-Red herring would have been too obvious, don't you think?
-So what was all this -- some sort of test?
-Congratulations, you've penetrated a bastion of male privilege. I guessed you weren't a stickler for Tradition, doctor.
-Whereas you are.
-Dyed in the wool. But I can admire someone who doesn't play by the rules.
-Rules are made to be broken.
-Not by me. Play by the rules, Doctor, or the game is nothing.
-And just what is the game?
-I say, this is all terribly formal. Must I go an calling you Dr. Peel?
-Under the circumstances, you may call me Mrs. Peel.
-Much better.
-And now that we've settled the matter of honorifics, will you kindly explain why you wished me to meet you?
-I didn't. Mother did.
-... Showers followed by sunny periods.
-Ah ... From Trubshaw's. My shoemaker.
-My father always wanted a boy.
-Really? I fail to see the connection.
-Do you?
-I thought we were on our way.
-Oh, absolutely, but Trubshaw's a man worth meeting. No point setting out half shod.
-Steed, we really must be --
-You can but I wish you wouldn't ...
-That place is so absurd, so out of date ...
-You know what I mean. This car -- and you. Nobody walks around like that. Milk?
-But why? What's the point?
-A Gentleman has to have a code. This is part of mine. A uniform. Think of it as my suit of shining armor.
-And I suppose you're the knight.
-The most unpredictable piece on the board. And always ready to protect his queen.
-Sir August Merryweather ... why are we seeing him first?
-As per mother's instructions.
-Do we always follow Mother's instructions?
-For a man in my position --
-Just what is your position, if you don't mind my asking. How did a stuffed shirt like you get into this line of work?
-They call me in when they've reached a dead end. Freelance. Like yourself.
-I have no choice. Why should you risk your life?
-After our fencing match, I was rather hoping you would do the risking. More tea?
-No thanks.
-According to Mother, Sir August owns half of the Highlands. A millionaire. Former head of Special Projects at the Ministry. Now ...
-Not so much eccentric. More barking mad. He has a wife called June. And a daughter somewhere -- Julie.
-June, July ... August?
-The family does seem to be somewhat meteorologically inclined.
-Any other vices?
-So ... I distract him while you snoop around? How?
-Ah, Brenda ... Mrs. Peel?
-You should be dead. How do you feel?
-Strange.
-You were very lucky. Four shots to the heart. I found you after I slipped away from Sir August. Mother brought you here. Not me you should thank.
-I wasn't about to.
-I mean your man Trubshaw. Your bullet-proof waistcoat. I thought you were just overdressed.
-Mother and Dr. Darling have me under observation. They think I tried to kill you.
-Why should they think that?
-You told them. You said I arrived on a camel, shot you four times. Left you for dead.
-Frankly that's how I remember it.
-But that's absurd. I may not be over-fond of you, Steed, but it's not my style.
-Perhaps your memory plays tricks, Mrs. Peel.
-That's possible. Sir August was convinced he'd met me before. But I'd never met him. Another odd thing. When it rained, he said it was just as someone had promised.
-Did he say who?
-An invitation. To a 'formal picnic'...?
-I must say, you look more your old self --
-You mean my other self ...
-Either way ... may I ask: why you dress in that fashion?
-Colonel Crabtree. International Satellite Systems. Formerly of the Ministry.
-Elementary, Mrs. Peel. Trubshaw isn't the only shoemaker still practicing his trade ...
-What on earth?
-Any ideas?
-Well, he was a fellow of the Royal Zoological Society ...
-Is that written in his shoe?
-Common knowledge, Mrs. Peel ...
-For you, Mrs. Peel.
-But
-Not quite. This is my field.
-Is there anything that isn't?
-The Prospero Project was started by my husband. It was an early attempt to solve the problems of global warming. In theory, climate engineering is entirely feasible. We thought of injecting a chemical cocktail into the atmosphere by laser and satellite. A 'quick fix'...
-Filling in mother nature's blind spots ... ?
-Exactly. There'd been earlier attempts to pump carbon dioxide into deep sea. Propane gas mostly. In small quantities it captures chlorine. Protects the ozone layer. But it proved impractical. Too bulky ...
-But if someone miniaturized the process...
-That's what we were working on.
-Three agents killed by bad weather...
-... And by you, Mrs. Peel ...
-Then a mad millionaire. Head of a secret defense establishment. A group of eccentrics obsessed by weather ...
-... And by you, Mrs. Peel. Everything points to you. No sisters? No undiscovered twin?
-Not that I know of. Explanation?
-Is that what you think?
-Do you always drive this fast?
-What, Lady Disdain? Are you yet breathing?
-Barely.
-This must be the last straw.
-Here's the one that broke the camel's back.
-Someone didn't want us to get to the party.
-Steed ... !
-Where am I?
-The Winslow Home for Retired Lepidoptorists. I'm so sorry I struck you, Mrs. Peel. Please forgive me. I thought you were someone else ...
-Was I?
-I expect that's for you to know and me to find out ...
-You followed me.
-Orders.
-To kill me?
-I could save you the trouble.
-No trouble.
-Because you always obey orders ...
-Yes ... ?
-And do you trust me?
-I could be convinced, if ... I knew who poisoned me in the maze. That kiss ...
-Mmm ... what are you doing?
-Keeping a stiff upper lip?
-But you did suspect me.
-Not for a moment.
-You're playing games.
-Aren't we all, Mrs. Peel?
-I thought you played by the rules.
-I thought you didn't.
-I'm playing to win.
-Winning isn't everything.
-Please don't tell me it's how you play the game.
-No, after you.
-You don't trust me?
-I told Mother I took care of you.
-You lied.
-Drat. Someone wants to implicate you in this affair, Mrs. Peel. Any idea who?
-No idea who. No idea why ...
-Teddy bears, cuckoo clocks, toys All children's things ...
-... Or grown-ups, who still like to be children.
-Quite. Any childhood friends? Enemies?
-Very well. I have a friend who might be of assistance. He's at the Ministry. We'd better be careful.
-His name's Jones. 'Invisible' Jones.
-Why's he called 'Invisible'?
-Aren't you coming?
-We must hurry, Mrs. Peel ...
-Hurry? What for? I'm just now --
-There's a reception this evening. Colonel Jones thinks it advisable we attend.
-What's that you're wearing?
-It's called Black Leather.
-What is it?
-Limpet bomb. Small, very compact. From Trubshaw's.
-When all this is over, we simply must get you out of that suit.
-You first.
-Trubshaw again? What now?
-They're playing your song, Mrs. Peel.
-Bad news. Father's looking for you. Where are those bloody ministers?
-I'll be back ...
-Where are you going?
-Laying in supplies, Mrs. Peel weather may get very nasty and I've no umbrella ...
-You needn't bother. I can't drag you further into this. After all, I am still the chief suspect.
-No bother. Mother and Father think I've joined you. I might as well.
-But --
-Oh, and by the way, I think it's about time you got rid of that chip on your shoulder.
-Mrs. Peel?
-What kept you?
-'The owl and the pussycat went to sea -'
-'... in a beautiful pea green boat...'
-A fine night, Mrs. Peel ...
-Still a bit chilly ...
-English weather. You know, after all we've been through, I should say we deserve a long holiday ...
-Have you any place in mind?
-I don't recall Siberia being this warm, Steed.
-It's the latest thing, Mrs. Peel.
-Our little paradise -- just made for two?
-Our chaperon.
-Ah ... sun tan lotion. Any shops nearby?
-Your mission is simple. Find out how and why these agents died.
-Think of it as special assignment, Mrs. Peel. With a twist. You're our chief suspect.
-Where's Mother?
-You don't believe him?
-Emma in Wonderland. Welcome, Mrs. Peel. We've been expecting you. We hope you'll enjoy your stay with us. Decontamination is almost complete.
-Decontamination -- ?
-Talk to the pipe, Mrs. Peel. That usually helps. Don't worry about me being invisible. Other than that I'm perfectly normal.
-I see.
-Ah, here we are. Steed asked me to play a hunch: Valentine Peel.
-Peter's brother? But --
-Now let's see ... Eton, Cambridge ... research into robotics and plastics. Overtaken by Peter's work on the physics of climate change ...
-I know all this.
-Do you also know that during your final experiment, your halfbrother- in-law was under surveillance?
-Surveillance? By whom?
-Father. She gave him an 'all clear' after a security test by Dr. Darling.
-Who's now vanished.
-Makes two of us.
-I was getting to it.
-Getting to what?
-The World Council of Ministers meets tomorrow to convene the new global defense initiative --
-Under the circumstances Mother didn't see fit, but I think I can get you in ...
-'X' marks the spot. The shoes were delivered to ... an island in Hyde Park. Surrounded by the Serpentine. On the site of a former Ministry installation...
-Privately owned by ...
-Let me guess: Wonderland Weather.
-Very good, Mrs. Peel ...
-I shall need a small plane.
-You're not venturing alone, surely.
-A series of bizarre shifts in local weather patterns ...
-Global warming?
-We know one thing. That suspect was not Mrs. Peel.
-Oh, hello ...
-We want Mrs. Peel.
-Steed
-How did you guess?
-You reek of Mrs. Peel's Black Leather ...
-Mother betrayed me. She was going to replace me with a younger Father. Errand boy that's all I was. 'Find Steed...'
-Mother. I thought you were burglars.
-Weather's turning nasty.
-You didn't come to talk about the weather, surely.
-Your research into climate engineering was state-of-the-art. Your experiments could have revolutionized our knowledge of global warming -- had they succeeded. We need your expertise.
-Think she really killed those agents?
-She may not know. Theory goes she may be very ill.
-Amnesia?
-Possibly. Split personality ...
-Insane ... ?
-Who knows? If Dr. Darling is right, you should watch out.
-Why?
-Something went wrong. System malfunction. Explosion. Mrs. Peel had a narrow escape. Suspected sabotage. Nothing proven. File still open.
-Still doesn't. Better safe than sorry. She was in a dangerous game, Steed. High stakes. She may prove to be a risk. If she is, there's only one solution. Termination.
-Anyone particular in mind?
-We had a lead to Wonderland Weather but we got there too late. Someone tipped them off ...
-Too late anyway. Today's escapade was only for starters. This is no ordinary weather. It's manmade. A kind of weather bomb.
-This man -- did you see him?
-You're accusing Mrs. Peel of killing her own husband?
-Pity. I was growing fond of Mrs. Peel. Unfortunately --
-Guilty until proven innocent?
-I was hoping you could tell me.
-You're getting yourself into terrible trouble, my son. Weather's turning very nasty -- and so am I.
-I'm going to follow up on a hunch of my own. If I'm right, Mrs. Peel is innocent and you have a mole.
-Where?
-In your operation.
-Are you alright, young man?
-Cocky little bastard. I hope he was a baddy.
-I feel sure of it.
-I'm Alice. Mother said you'd be on your way. Mrs. Peel with you?
-You with Mother or Father?
-Both, actually.
-Good. Glad to see they're together at last. They don't get along. Promotion. Top job. Most unfair. Quite a fuss at the Ministry.
-Wonderland Weather Ltd.
-Mrs. Peel -- ?
-Ask not for whom the telephone rings ...
-No, please! I beg you ...
-Walk over to the window ...
-Let it be rain, please let it be --
-John Steed.
-Valentine Peel. I see you've gone back to using your original face.
-The last one you'll ever see.
-You're better than I expected.
-I was at Harrow ...
-Bang-bang ... you're dead.
-One shot -- for emergencies.
-That's not playing by the rules.
-Rules are made to be broken.
-If you say so.
-You said ... one shot.
-Aren't you forgetting about something?
-You are, and it's behind you.
-I think she really likes you ... Where's Mrs. Peel?
-What's happening?
-Debbie's marrying Rick.
-Does Cole know about this?
-I'm totally blown away. You're getting married. It seems like only yesterday I showed you how to have oral sex.
-Look at that guy. What a hunk.
-Debbie... I don't believe it. I'm so excited.
-Bobbie, what are you talking about?
-He still thinks I'm going with him. I'm going to break the news to him tomorrow.
-He's not gonna be happy. And your parents can't be too thrilled either.
-What do you think's gonna go on at the guys' party?
-They'll probably get drunk, and watch dirty movies. But don't worry about the dirty movies.
-What do you mean?
-I forgot to tell you. Yesterday I found a bunch of pornos in the back seat of O'Neill's car.
-You're kidding.
-That's what we're going to find out...
-Deb, we're pretending to be hookers.
-I'm glad you guys came by... What's the occasion?
-Rick's got an important announcement to make.
-What?
-Yeah, man. Let's throw a bachelor party with drugs, booze and broads.
-Where's the women, man? We gotta have women.
-Chulo, one thing at a time.
-I don't get it, but at least Gary's got the real stuff coming up here in a few minutes.
-Hey, you guys, what's going on?
-We're going for a little liquid refreshment.
-I've decided not to run for President.
-Man, you're losing your audience.
-Yes, gentlemen. Saturday after next, I lose my amateur standing and turn pro.
-You sure Gary's got this whole party deal together?
-Yeah, man, he's got us a great room at the hotel and lots of chicks.
-I hope so. Hundred bucks apiece is a lot of dinero.
-All right!
-Denmark makes great Nautilus equipment.
-And...
-Cole. Don't you know it's bad luck to see the groom before the wedding?
-I want Debbie.
-Cole...
-You dump her and I'll give you cash.
-What's Debbie's blue book value right now?
-Five thousand dollars.
-Seventy-five hundred.
-Not interested.
-Okay, ten thousand plus a G.E. toaster oven, a Litton microwave, a Cuisinart...
-I'm marrying Debbie.
-Michelin tires... brand new. A set of Sears Best metric tools...
-Thanks, Dad. Cole, go away.
-He's gonna hurt you, Debbie. He'll never be true to you the way I would.
-Rick, I want to talk to you.
-I don't want any trouble.
-Oh, come on, just a little.
-I'm ready to make you another deal.
-Ooh, be still, my heart.
-Great car.
-The best.
-I love that car.
-I'll trade you my Porsche for Debbie. An even swap.
-The car for Debbie?
-I mean it. The car is yours. Dump Debbie.
-Low mileage... Handles like a dream.
-Shit, shit, shit, shit. My car's gone!
-Maybe it had something to do.
-Rick... Debbie is mine. She'll always be.
-Cole, when was the last time you had a lobotomy?
-Cole, what the hell are you doing?
-He and Debbie stand outside the theater, which is a multi-plex cinema. Fourteen movie theaters under one roof. Prominent is a sign which reads: "24 HOUR 3D FESTIVAL!" Cole drags Debbie into one of the theaters. The gang runs up to the theaters.
-Hello?
-Mr. Thomerson.
-Yes, son, did you find out where the bachelor party is?
-Yes I did.
-Fine. How's everything going?
-Hi, everybody. Am I late?
-So, Cole, you been practicing your game?
-Nice shot.
-Thank you, sir.
-I know you're as unhappy as I am about Debbie's marriage to Rick.
-Yes, sir, I am.
-Cole, I don't want you to give up on her.
-I've tried to change her mind.
-It's not her mind you need to change. It's Disneyland head in there.
-But how can I do that?
-Thanks for the advise, sir.
-So, he's playing hard ball. Well, two can play that game. Go after him. Stop at nothing. You hear me?
-Some fat slob in the next booth is making a lot of noise.
-Well, tell the asshole to shut up.
-Right. Hey, shut up. Okay, sir.
-Cole, my God, boy, what are you doing here? What happened?
-The bachelor party's upstairs. They made me get naked. They hung me from the window so high up it was so scary I fell down...
-Take hold of yourself. What room are they in?
-1002.
-All right, I'll go up there and take care of this myself. You look awful, son. Go find yourself some clothes.
-Cole?
-Cole, we've got to talk.
-Finally realized Rick's a jerk, huh?
-No, Cole, I...
-It's all right, I forgive you. I'm not the vengeful type. We'll forget what happened. Why don't we take a trip together? Maybe kill a few lions in Kenya over Christmas.
-Cole, listen to me... I've got to tell you...
-You know, when you dumped me for that wimp, I thought, Cole, she'll be back. God wants the two of you to be together, and sure enough...
-Cole, I'm marrying Rick.
-You're marrying him? Then why are you coming back to me?
-You know how that makes me feel, Deb? Wanta know how that makes me feel? Angry, Deb. Yesss, that's the word, angry. But if he makes you happy, you go right ahead. I want you to be happy, Deb. No matter what, no matter how angry it makes me, no matter how much it hurts. Be happy, Deb. Be oh, so very, very happy.
-Cole, I'm sorry, I...
-That's all right, Deb. Go be happy and smile a lot, Deb. Do it for me.
-I'm going now, Cole.
-God, you're a slob.
-But a fabulous cook.
-What are we having?
-It's either meatloaf, Swiss steak or charred flesh. I won't know till it's finished.
-Don't worry... it's supposed to do this.
-Want to hear something great? Bobbie and Phoebe are throwing me a shower. It's really gonna be fun.
-Not as much fun as the bachelor party the guys are throwing for me.
-You're going to have a bachelor party?
-Of course. I'm a traditional guy... It's a traditional event. Well, what do you think?
-It looks awful.
-Yes, but looks are deceiving... Not in this case, however.
-Are you going to have women at your party?
-No, sweetheart, it's a stag party. Does stay home.
-I'm not talking about does. I'm talking about hookers.
-Oh, those. Why do you ask?
-Huh? Wha...
-I can't sleep.
-Stop fooling around... I need to talk.
-What's the matter?
-I don't know... I just feel scared.
-About what?
-The wedding, my parents, your family, our friends, my job, the future, our relationship, the caterers, my gown, your tuxedo, our honeymoon, the apartment, my shower, your bachelor party...
-I think the only think you've left out are our relations with the Soviet Union. Sweetheart, everything's gonna be all right.
-Before or After I have my nervous breakfown?
-That feels so great.
-Good...
-Um... that's very relaxing.
-Well... twenty-four more hours to go and tonight we'll share with our friends and loved ones the joys of those last moments of singleness.
-You better not have too much joy.
-Wouldn't think of it. Because tomorrow... We're going to the chapel and we're...
-This is it, lady. Last stop.
-Can't I just go with you guys?
-Remember, you promised... no screwing around.
-Did I promise that? I don't remember that...
-Okay, I promise... I swear on my mother's grave.
-Your mother's not dead.
-Have a good time. Don't make it too late.
-Anything you say, ma'am. Have a fun shower. Use soap.
-Don't turn on the lights, sugar. I'll lead you around.
-How wonderful. A seeing eye hooker.
-I can't trust you!
-C'mon, I knew it was you.
-Let go of me!
-Debbie, I'm telling you, I didn't do anything, hardly.
-The marriage is off. Now you can screw around with your friends for the rest of your life.
-I don't want that. I want to be with you.
-And I want to be with someone who understands the meaning of the word commitment.
-I don't believe you.
-See? And these are not just ordinary party-goers -- there are professionals in this crowd -- I didn't want any of them. You... You're what I want. Understand?
-Yes...
-Great. Now, what do you want to do about it?
-Let's get naked.
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
-This has been quite a night. Here's a thought. Why don't we go home and give our private parts a workout?
-If I were you, I'd worry less about the shower and more about Rick's bachelor party.
-Ilene, why would I want to do that? I trust Rick.
-Of course you do. I trusted my ex, Mel, too. Cousin, I can only talk from experience. What do you think they do at these parties, have tea and play scrabble?
-Ilene, Rick promised...
-Are you sure this is a good idea?
-Look, you heard what those hookers said. They were supposed to go to a bachelor party.
-That doesn't mean it was Rick's party.
-Let's go.
-Look, girls -- I'll stay behind and hold them off. The rest of you break for it!
-Ilene, are you crazy?
-I'm using the same caterer for the shower I had for our Christmas party last year.
-Why is Cole here?
-A strange wang right in my palm.
-What kind of job? I'm a housewife.
-I hope Ilene's all right.
-Ed, we're so glad you could come over at the last minute and judge our little beauty pageant.
-Congratulations on your daughter's wedding. Who's she marrying?
-A real turd.
-Great bathing suit.
-Thanks for helping us out, Ed. We appreciate it.
-So we want your best girls, the cream of your crop.
-Park View Hotel, Room 1002.
-They'll be up there in a half hour.
-Jumbo, where the hell are the women?
-What are you talking about, asshole?
-Your whores never showed up.
-They left an hour ago, pink nuts.
-That's it, prick lips.
-What are you...
-I've had it, numb nuts... How much money you got?
-Why?
-This is bad public relations. I was planning to do a lot of business with you. But now I'm going to have to go elsewhere.
-Give him the works.
-Screw you... Screw that... Don't jerk me around. You promised me 1500 seats for the Police Concert... 1500, not fifteen!... Screw that... Screw you -- Screw Sting. Hi, guys.
-Gary, you're quite an animal.
-Let's go.
-Okay... We're all here. Rick, what's the big announcement?
-Wait a minute. You been living with Debbie! Why do you want to get married?
-Sounds swell... I'm really touched. And my getting married's not gonna change a thing between me and my pals. We're still gonna go bowling on Tuesdays, play cards on Fridays and wear women's clothes on Sunday night. I love you guys... I always will.
-Give the guy air. Everyone to a neutral corner.
-It's true.
-This place should have been wall to wall tits by now.
-Guy paints a beautiful picture.
-I'm going to see what the hell happened.
-Looks like the only one who got screwed here was you.
-Hookers beat you up?
-Yes.
-Gary, how we doing, big stallion?
-Rick, I really think I'm in love.
-What can I be doing for you?
-You're a pimp?
-I'm telling you I am, Joe.
-I want women.
-That I got. Very good women. They sit on your face, anything you want.
-I'll take some.
-Big problem now. Soon they go to customers.
-I need them for a bachelor party at the Park View Hotel.
-You are being in luck. Customers in same hotel. I let you have them at cut-rate price for 45 minutes.
-Sold. 45 minutes. No problem.
-Not one minute longer or Milt will come for you.
-So, Larry, how have you been?
-I hate her. I hate her guts, the bitch.
-Larry, you and your wife got problems?
-Is that all the coke in the place?
-That's it.
-You want to share it?
-Naw, two on a Quaalude... bad luck.
-My marriage is the worst. All crap. A big pile of shit.
-Maybe your marriage should lay off grains for a while.
-She hates me. It's over. You'll see, as soon as you get married, everything changes. You sure you want to go through with it, man?
-Guys, I think I'd rather stay here.
-C'mon, Larry. Be good for you.
-I just want to be alone.
-Lar... sometimes when people are mad they say things they don't mean.
-You okay?
-Yeah, I guess so.
-Really?
-What the hell are you doing?
-I'm trying to slash my wrists.
-You're trying to kill yourself with an electric razor?
-I couldn't find any razor blades.
-Well, this is terrific. Now you're gonna have wrists that are smooth and kissable. Just go out there. Forget about everything and laugh it up.
-Ha, ha, ha.
-Hi, guys. We brought back a friend.
-It's my fault. He's dead because... I left those drugs...
-Are any of those right?
-This is the Park View Hotel. I'm the Hotel Manager. Are you looking for someone?
-It's on the tenth floor.
-Keep your voices down. This is a respectable establishment. We don't go for any funny business here. Just then a GUY with a Moosehead Beer hat and TWO GUYS in a moose costume pass him and enter the elevator with the boys.
-You're all under arrest. Open up!
-Oops!
-Rick, hit the ball easier, son. You don't have to kill it.
-Well, I have to admit my game's a little rusty, but I love polo. It's unrelenting, a constant challenge to the senses. Really a beautiful experience.
-Rick, I want to cut through the b.s.
-I'd love that.
-Good. I think you're an asshole. No, let me correct that, an immature asshole. Which is fine, except you're marrying my daughter and I'm afraid my grandchildren are going to be little assholes.
-Mr. Thomerson, I...
-Let me finish. Debbie's an adult. She can do what she wants. But if you want your marriage to last, you're going to have to change some things about yourself. If I may make some suggestions...
-Feel free.
-Welcome, welcome, one and all.
-Rick!
-The end.
-Ebbie. Ger... umph... lable...
-Er... perhaps we ought to stop now.
-Girls, why don't we go inside for lunch. Boys, would you mind bringing in that lemonade?
-The thought of that person marrying my daughter makes me want to upchuck.
-Ed... you're kinky!
-The phone made me do it!
-You've been having strange sex...!
-No, Brett, I...
-How are we doing? My name is O'Neill. And you are...?
-Klupner. Mrs. Klupner.
-Mrs.?
-I'm separated.
-I'm getting one heck of a glare off your dress there. Could you undo a few buttons?
-Where'd she go?
-Where the hell is he?
-What's the matter?
-We'll spend an hour with "Nymphos Without Pants"...
-Olivier's in that, right?
-Excuse me, but this is as arousing as a stroll through the Vatican.
-Don't you love it when old friends stop by?
-Hey, I'm starved... Let's go get something to eat. We'll bring back food for everybody.
-I'm not really hungry.
-What the hell is that?
-My gift to you.
-Under the table!
-I think you'll enjoy this table.
-I don't get it. Why didn't you go for it just now?
-Rick, I'm concerned.
-About what?
-This is your bachelor party. You haven't had sex with anyone yet.
-Get a few drinks into me, we'll dance and see what happens.
-I got something you can't resist. I have a friend, Tracey. She wants to meet you. She loves to please.
-Oooooo.
-Right in there, pal.
-If I'm not out in a half hour, send for the paramedics.
-How'd it go?
-Put it to you this way -- you're gonna have to pry her out of the bed with a spatula, mister.
-Who was that?
-I don't know.
-What's this?
-How 'bout this?
-He look familiar?
-Very.
-Now, don't get into any trouble.
-Hey, you guys...
-How about this, a Trojan donkey.
-What are you going to do about it?
-What can I do? I'm dead. Debbie's going to go crazy and end the whole thing.
-Reach out and snort someone.
-Guess who's here? Another surprise guest.
-Who?
-Debbie.
-My Debbie?
-I don't know... Go up to her, make like you don't know her and send her into the other bedroom.
-You always were sneaky, Stan, very sneaky.
-Rick, marriage will be good for you. It's done wonders for me.
-True, you're a lot handsomer now. Don't you have enough blood already?
-You won't miss a thing about being single... The wild parties, the different girls every night, running around like a maniac... God, I miss that.
-That's an even trade... a cotton ball for all my blood.
-Nah, that's okay. My brother has to look up old people's asses all day long. Let's give him a break.
-Thanks a lot, that was the best. You're next.
-Nah, not yet. Look, you're my older brother. I need some advice here. What's the deal with marriage? What can I expect?
-Well, the first month it's great. The second month things calm down a little. By the third month you're looking through your old girlfriends' phone numbers; by the fourth month you're numb; by the fifth month, hopefully the football season starts.
-Oh... it's... er... the guys from the beer convention. We're bringing them to the party.
-You're late again, Rick.
-I know, Sister, but I have a very good excuse.
-There can be no excuse for tardiness.
-Sister, do you ever get lonely after vespers? If you do, why don't you give me a call. I'm in the book.
-Get going, Rick... you're late enough as it is.
-How the hell are we supposed to get this donkey inside?
-I don't know.
-What? I thought you told me you had it all figured out.
-Maybe I did... I don't remember.
-Can you believe how perfect it fits?
-Oh these moments do try me...
-Wash it to the windows?
-No, we'll hit the son of a bitch head on.
-It's gonna flash, Stevie. We gotta get behind it.
-That's Franny. She likes firemen.
-Goddamn it, Stephen, lay off! You stupid dumbshit, you never know when to fucking quit, do you? You ever wonder why your career's in the fucking toilet? Why you're gonna be stuck a Lt. for life?
-You know Knowlton pretty well?
-Yeah...
-Biggest in two battalions.
-Adcox, go with Pengelly and check the other side.
-It isn't safe, man. Don't go splittin' us up. Not with this one.
--- What the hell's the matter with you? You always check the other side. I haven't got time for bullshit right now, okay? We got a job here.
-Let me take the lead, Stephen...
-Aw man, Stephen, listen to me...
--- What the fuck were you thinking, huh? Burning people? You're a fireman.
--- Knock it off!
-...What do you want me to do, Stephen? Talk to me. What am I supposed to do?
-You stupid son of a bitch! What the fuck are you doing!
-Hey, baby McCaffrey. First one's the clincher. You did okay.
-My Lt. might have something to say about that.
-Ah, everybody screws up some, Brian. You're working for the toughest Lt. on the job. Saw him once pick up a probie he thought was moving too slow and throw him into a burning building. It's just bad luck you're family.
-Is he...
-Did you do it for Tim?
-You gotta let me finish --
-Just come down, John. Just --
--- He killed people --
--- You know what Swayzak would do to the department if this got out? --
--- Stephen, this is bullshit --
-It doesn't go like that.
-Who asked you?
-Well, look what we have here. Nice costume. Rent it?
-I want to thank you for coming to my graduation, Stephen. It was a great inspiration to me.
-Doesn't work on you. See ya around, little brother.
-Not likely.
-I like what you've done with the place.
-Been ripping off fire stations?
-My God, an actual operating 8-track.
-What, you've never seen one before?
-In the Field Museum once.
-It works.
-People actually used to pay you for this?
-Millions, Stephen -- And sexual favors.
-Sheep don't count.
-Yeah? What about Laura --
-Why'd you come here, Brian?
-I wanted to know why you messed with my station assignment. I mean, is this really gonna have to one of those big brother -- little brother "you broke my GI Joe and I'm still pissed" games?
-What is it with you, man, huh? How do you manage to keep coming up with new and amazing ways to screw up? That scotch bullshit? Am I really supposed to believe you came crawling back home because you suddenly felt heart strings moan for the family biz? You were bankrupt, man.
-Hey! You don't know me --
-I know you cold, Brian. The scary thing is, you probably could have faked it for awhile. But you see, in this job there's no place to hide. Isn't like selling log cabins. You have a bad day here -- someone dies. And that's not fucking good enough. Want another beer?
-So that's it? Big bad brother's gonna ride my ass till I cough blood?
-There's only so much technology can do. Thanks for the beer.
-Y'know, I told myself a million times I didn't want to be a fireman. I said bullshit to that line about tradition and family legacy. I know I split, and I know how you felt...
-Yeah, you know. You know what it felt like.
-I gotta do this, Stephen. I gotta know.
-Ya love it, probie?
-I'm in heaven, Lt.
-Y'know, you got an awful short memory for direct orders. I told you to stay beside me.
--- C'mon, Stephen.
-Goddamn it Stephen!
--- I told you to stay next to me!
--- I was doin' it! I was up there fucking doin' it. You don't know, man, you don't know what I did!
-C'mon ladies, let's roll some hose...
-Thanks.
-Hey.
-So you got a 'roid going with Jackson or what?
-Look, Brian, a photographer. Maybe I can get on the cover of LIFE magazine, too.
-Jesus, it's too damn bright in here... Like a goddamn spotlight... I'm goin' blind...
-This?
-Roll the hose.
-What, is it the stairs? Christ, I'll let you win next time.
-You got a problem with drilling, probie?
-No, Lt., I don't have a problem with drilling. But let's just have one drill. Not one for the company and one for me.
-Ready?
-Christ, Stephen, let's wait for the hose team...
-You okay?
-I waited... I would have fucking waited...
-That's not what it's about, Brian. The point is there was a kid in there. And what if there'd been two? I went in because that's what I do. It's my way. It's dad's way. It isn't everybody's way.
-Dad's way? Where did he tell you that? In a fucking seance?
-Look, you are sorta making yourself fair game.
-Thanks for the insight.
-Brian, look --
-...Not now, Brian.
-Had to take on another fire bare- handed, huh? Had to be fucking myth man in there instead of looking out for your probie. Is that what happened? Is it, Stephen?
-I had that fire. He didn't listen!
-He didn't listen? He was a fucking candidate! He was your responsibility. He shouldn't have been there in the first place, Stephen. You burned him.
-Hey, what are you doing here?
-Just... Just wanted to say hello...
-Well, long as you're here you can help clean up a little. I've got a guy coming to look at this in a few minutes.
-You're selling dad's boat?
-Yeah, it's just another memory in my life right now. And I got way too many of them...
-I really should get back. There's... there's something I'm supposed to do.
-Yeah? What have you got to do? Look at you. Look at your face. All the things you must be thinking. Man, you must really hate my guts. Well, you know what? It's okay.
-Look, Stephen, maybe we can talk about this some other --
-It's okay, Stephen, I --
-I saw it.
-Saw what?
-When dad died, I saw another fire...
-Everybody did.
-I saw it before it got them. I tried to yell, but... He asked me to look out for him. And I didn't do it. I let him die.
-...Jesus, you been carrying that around for twenty years? For christ's sake, you were seven years old! You think he could have heard you in there?
-I hate him so much sometimes, Stephen. You don't know how hard it was for me to put that uniform on...
-Maybe I do. ...What a fuckin' mess, huh? People can change Brian.
-Oh God, Stephen, what's going on with you?
--- Stephen, wait a minute. I gotta talk to you. It's Adcox, he's --
--- What are you doing here?
-I saw Adcox's back! I saw the burn! I put it there! Jesus Christ, Stephen, he's been killing people!
-I know.
-How do you know?
-I knew when you came looking for the chemicals. Looking for me.
--- What were they doing there?
-Anything else?
-What are we going to do about this?
-I'll handle it.
-We gotta go to Rimgale, Stephen.
-You're his Lt., Stephen... Are you gonna handle it? Are you Stephen?
-You crazy son of a bitch, why couldn't you stay behind a desk where you belong?
-"You never know till the fire stares you down if you're gonna be --"
-Don't tell them about Adcox... Don't let 'em...
-Brian.
-Jennifer.
-You're back.
-You look great.
-Thanks for calling.
-Uh... I've been sorta keeping a low profile... the academy... I graduated today.
-Huh.
-So... I see you're still in the neighborhood.
-Not quite. Just visiting. I live in Lincoln Park now.
-Yeah? What have you been up to?
-I work for city hall.
-Really? No kidding.
-Well, if nothing else, it's nice to know we can still be friends.
-With grenadine, right?
-When I was twenty.
-Look, I'm not the same girl who had nothing better to do than wrap her legs around you on a Saturday night. This isn't about fun. I'm working here.
-Carrying Swayzak's notebook?
-Let me tell you something. Martin Swayzak is going to be this town's next mayor.
-Yeah. Swayzak. Humanity's last hope. How can you work for that guy?
-Why do you think Marty came here tonight? Because he cares about your department. You don't know how hard he works. You don't know about his programs helping West Side --
--- All I know is that his programs are getting firemen hurt.
-What was that? Oh man, you have picked up a few moves since John Paul II Boulevard.
-Yeah, well I like to think I'm just a little past hanging out on JP II watching the Irish pick fights and Litwalks barf in the planters.
-Boy, took you all of thirty seconds to blow that.
-C'mon Jennifer, he's just another North-Side jag-off with a mouth.
-Brian, do you always have to be so stupid? Think about your future for once.
-So now you suddenly care about my future?
-Look, I didn't mean to take a piece out of you back there, I just thought you'd call when you came back. You didn't and... Don't blow it just because of this garbage between us.
-I've been thinking about what you said the other night... If the offer's still on the table, I'd like to talk about it.
-...Okay. I'll arrange things with your assignment captain. Marty's a good man, Brian.
-Arson.
-Hey.
-How's it going?
-Boss and I are up to about three words an hour.
-Green committed to a thousand. There's another fund-raising party tonight. Marty'd really like you to come.
-I could use a date.
-Hi.
-Hey... So are you dating your boss or what?
-If you weren't at least the 300th person to ask me that, I'd probably be pissed. Boy, you sure know it's a man's world sometimes...
-Sorry. Are you dating anyone?
-You think that's really any of your business?
-Well, you did invite me here.
-Okay.
-Boy, Rimgale's as slow as a snail, isn't he?
-No, he's more of a dinosaur. Guy's not a dummy, though. He's juggling alot of balls on this one.
-Yeah, but it doesn't take Albert Einstein just to figure out if these guys were killed by accidents or not.
-Jesus, give him a break. There isn't enough proof yet to go public. Sure, we found some chemical shit we think somebody dumped in the plugs to torch 'em, and we've maybe figured out why backdrafts, but you can't rush this stuff. Not 'till it's locked.
-But Rimgale's probably going to come around to arson.
-Thanks for the invite.
-Got anything to drink in there?
-This is one of the oldest fire stations in the city. Lotta tradition locked up in here. What do you think?
-Homey.
-See that trap door up there? That used to lead to the hay loft when they had horse-drawn engines. It was pretty different then... but kinda the same, y'know?
-Do you miss it? You seem like you do.
-When I came back, I knew more than anything else that I wanted to be a fireman.
-Then why did you quit?
-Well, our specimen here is your basic standard issue piece of primary suppression equipment. This area is the pumping panel, which controls the rate of liquid insertion into the hose.
-Brian. What's wrong?
-You told Swayzak about our arson lead. It's all over the fucking news.
-I didn't know it was a secret. There aren't supposed to be secrets between the city and its investigators --
--- Bullshit! You knew what I told you wasn't ready for the papers --
-Will you please keep your voice down, there's people --
--- You could have scared the son of a bitch off. We may never bust him now. All for a couple's political points.
-I was doing my job.
-Yeah? And just how much of all this has been "doing your job"?
-Let me ask you something, do you really think Marty had you assigned to arson because of your firefighting skills? Who the hell are you kidding? I was there, remember? I saw you and your brother --
-Leave Stephen out of this --
-Oh yeah, he's the real fireman. Who are you? Just another probie working for Swayzak --
--- I work for the city.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-We still talking? Look, I'm sorry about the other day --
-Swayzak knows something about the guys that were murdered. I want to know why he keeps that hidden.
-I don't know anything about it.
-You could check. It'd be in his files.
-Do you know what you're asking me to do?
-Yes.
-Y'know, four years ago I was working in a bakery. Two years ago I was bringing Marty coffee and he didn't even know my name. I run that office now. Marty believed in me and I believe in him. You want me to just throw that away?
-What is --
-I'm sorry.
-That's a dumb thing to say.
-I think your boss is going to need some spin control.
-I quit two days ago, Brian.
-What'll you do?
-I don't have the slightest idea...
-I'll see ya around, huh?
-Brian McCaffrey... Oh this is really a treat. Brian McCaffrey. Lost a dad to the animal, huh?
-I'm close... but I can't get who it is...
-Okay, here's the deal. I'll tell you a story, you tell me one. Fair?
-Who's doing this?
-Your first question should be who isn't. It isn't a spark, Brian. Not enough damage. And an insurance pro? Where's the profit margin?
-Then who --
--- No no, your turn. Tell me a story.
-I don't have a story.
-Famous story even. Straight burn. Just an engine and truck first on scene. What did you feel, Brian, when you first got there?
-What?
-You gotta tell a story too, Brian. It's fair. C'mon, don't think too hard --
-I... I thought it was great. I loved it. It was nothing to these guys... medium deal.
-Right. Light smoke, low roll. Couple'a civilians hollering -- medium deal. So young fireman Adcox and Captain McCaffrey, they head up stairs, get out on the fire escape -- McCaffrey does the ballsy jump across... what were you feeling, Brian? C'mon, you promised. Be honest. Okay... Guard!
--- I wanted to be him. Right then I wanted to be him more than anything...
-Very good, Brian. -- About your report here. The way to a torch's heart is through his tools. That's how you know him. It's the way he talks to the fire. And to you if you listen.
-The outlets.
-That's a probie answer. You're smarter than that, Brian.
-Trychticholorate.
-Who the fuck is doing this?
-Oh Jesus Christ...
-If it was a joke, sir, you'd be laughing.
-You walked out on this academy six years ago. One week to graduation. You think we forgot that? You think I did?
-I want another shot, Sir.
-Look, everybody remembers your old man. Being his son, all you had to do was breathe to graduate here. Dead Hero Father Rule. But you blew us off. Why should I take you back?
-If you remember, sir, my test scores were in the top --
--- I don't give a damn what your test scores were, maybe you could have been a good firemen, but you had your shot.
-I need another one, sir.
-Sorry, but it's out of my hands. Try again next year.
-No, it isn't out of your hands or you wouldn't even have met me. If I push you have to let me back in. Dead Hero Father Rule. Sir.
-Even if you graduate this academy, you've still got nine months of probation. That's hard duty, son. If you don't really love this job, it'll kill you.
-Uh, I'm Brian McCaffrey. Your new assistant.
-Are you still here?
-Get used to me, Inspector. I'm not going anywhere.
-Then go find a corner. I don't want you in my way.
-I think we should get something straight here. I was assigned to this office by the city.
-Where are you going?
--- Shhh.
-So you were happy here. Warm and cozy and in no hurry... Soot high, clean unburned wall low, indicates slow burn in thermal balance. Find me some glass.
-Glass?
-Glass found in ignition room is in small, thin pieces, indicating explosion. Lack of discoloration indicates a long, slow burn. Explosion must of come after a slow burn. You little tease... What were you up to you little bastard, huh? What made you that mad? Or scared. It started in this room. Took its time, hung out... but the air ran out. It couldn't
-Temperature in this room was about 2000 degrees, but copper wire in outlet is melted, which requires 5000 degrees. An accidental short in the plug could of created a spark of 7000 degrees, hot enough to melt the wire and start a fire.
-Uh, I don't think that's in my contract...
-Read.
-"Trychtichlorate is a binary structured --"
--- Go to the bottom. Under heat properties.
-"During heat episodes of 2000 Kelvin or higher, Trych breaks down and dissipates. Will consume magnesium".
-Son of a bitch tears 'em apart just to eat the oxygen. Wouldn't take much at all to melt ten gauge wire. Problem's burnt magnesium leaves a powder trace -- unless you could find something that would eat its residue.
-Look, it isn't proof, okay? Someone may have put the chemical in the outlet, but we found it as a vapor in Cosgrove's clothes.
-And the putty around the door?
-Even if it was used to seal the air off, that doesn't explain why someone would go to the trouble of a backdraft. A gun's a helluva lot easier
-But the right guess on this is arson.
-I don't guess.
-Some people say you don't do much of anything when it comes to this case.
-That's it! Oh, that son of a bitch, he's different, goddamn it! You see what this tells us, huh? Our killer doesn't love fire!
-What?
-I got it after we talked to Ronald. Torches. Want to fry the whole goddamn world. But the fires that killed those guys never really burned up much. -- The burns were all lit in outlets surrounded by double firebreaks in the walls. And he made his burns backdrafts.
-But he killed these guys.
-But he could have killed everybody there. The firebreaks kept it from spreading in the wall. The backdraft blew out the flame. That's it. That's the reason.
-What reason?
-Why backdrafts. Whoever fried Seagrave and Cosgrove went to a helluva lot of trouble to make sure they died by fire, but also made sure the fire blew itself out.
-That's why the sealant on the doors... So what have we got, a torch with a conscience?
-No, we have a stone killer trying to make a point.
-Are you going public with this?
-What the hell are you doing here?
-In a word, Brian, what is this job all about?
-Hey boss, Dekom Trust is owned by Pan Illinois... which is majority controlled by Lakeside Dynamics... which is a division of Windy City Ventures... who's partners are... Alan Seagrave, Donald Cosgrove, and Jeffrey Holcomb.
-So Seagrave and Holcomb were accountants...
-And Cosgrove. Coppers figured he laundered money for the mob before getting into real estate. They weren't very high on Seagrave, either.
-Nice bunch of guys.
-This is the copy of Swayzak's manning report that was released. Everybody on this job knows it's bullshit but we could never argue with the numbers. They're all airtight.
-I've got three different drafts of the same report -- with different numbers that're all over the place. Looks like they were just making it up as they went along.
-Did a little check on the consulting firm that wrote the report. They did exactly one job -- Swayzak's manpower study. It's not even really a company. No employees, no directors, just a PO Box.
-Then who wrote the report?
-Well Brian, I guess you can say it's arson now...
-Did you pull me out?
-Yeah.
-Did I say thanks?
-No.
-Just wondering.
-So what do you want me to do?
-Your brother was a good man.
-Yeah.
-Another couple of good men get burned up for their city? Is that how it's going to read? You're the only one that knows.
-Brian?
-Hi, Helen. Man, you look great.
-'Bout written you off. How long have you been in town?
-Four months.
-Four months?
-That's Sean? Jeez, he's a giant.
-Yeah, you'd be surprised what three years can do to a kid.
-Sean, come on out, man. What, you forget your favorite uncle?
-Well that's two things to strangle Stephen for. Where is he, anyway?
-Oh, man, I'm sorry.
-Yeah. Big fan.
-And I'm a huge fan of what you did to save that woman, Brian.
-Uh, I think there's been a mistake. I didn't save that woman.
-No need to be modest, Brian.
-No, you don't understand, I saved a mannequin.
--- That really was incredibly work you did. You and your brother, fighting fires together, helluva image, isn't it? You must feel lucky to be assigned under his command.
-Every little boy's fantasy.
-Brian, let me come to the point. I'd like to offer you a job.
-I have a job.
-This one's still with the fire department. One of our best investigators, Don Rimgale, is working on a very difficult, visible case right now. We think he could use another pair of hands and you're exactly the kind of guy I want representing us: An authentic hero from a traditional firefighting clan.
-Yeah, we got all kinds of traditions -- like dying young.
-Mr. McCaffrey...
-Nice boat.
-Mr. McCaffrey... Keeping busy?
-Completely out of control.
-Aren't you even curious?
-Engine 115, right?
-How'd you know? These are supposed to be sealed.
-Lucky guess. And a case of scotch to a captain in station assignments.
-You crooked son of a bitch. Why 115?
-Lots of fires. They promote faster there. Take a look at the last Lt.'s list, half the guys on it came from that battalion. Gotta think about your future, Timmy. 115's the station.
-Man. Something sure put a crimp in his evening.
-Do you have to do that?
-Y'know what Stephen said to me, right when all the shit was coming hard? "You never know till the moment the fire stares you down if you're just gonna do this job or be great at it".
-What?
-So, you surviving without me?
-There's no replacement 'cause of your boss' cuts, if that's what you mean. If someone else goes out on an injury we're really screwed.
-Well, if it isn't the littlest McCaffrey. Hey! You break anything with that you buy it! Sorry, there must be something wrong with my eyes. I keep thinking that's a fire department uniform.
-Really. Well, let's have a look at what else was "in your blood". I always look forward to getting these, they make such a nice collage for the bar... "Assistant Director, Sales, Aspen Snowmobile Tours..."
-Didn't offer the kinda growth and challenge I need.
-Uh huh. And "Pioneer's Pride, Mobile Log Cabins". That was in your blood about six months wasn't it?
-Management were pin heads.
-"Laguna Jamming, Custom Surfboards"?
-Coffee sucked.
-And just this year, "Brian's Sound Spectrum". Your own company even. Big step.
-I was ahead of my time.
-Who's going to die?
-Brian. He's not doing it right, dad. He never does it right.
-Your brother's right. If you don't fasten these correctly they could open and you'd get burned.
-Fireman shit?
-Hey, what's with the mouth? Where'd you grow up, a barn?
-Firehouse.
-Dad!
-I hate it when we gotta fucking go look for it.
-Stevie? Rimgale's here to see you.
-I'm busy.
-He just wants to --
-We gotta roll, Stevie...
-I'll be there.
-They're waitin' man.
-Uh, Helen, I wanted to talk to you a second about Sean...
-You can't talk about my brother like that...
-Stephen, what are you doing here?
-Fixing my roof.
-Where's Sean?
-He's got piano lessons.
-Oh yeah? How's he doing?
-He's going to be a fireman.
-Give up, babe. You can't fight it. Believe me, my mom tried...
-Stephen, you gotta stop just showing up on the roof like this.
-I just wanted to, I don't know, not exactly apologize for the other night -- especially since I don't remember much of it --
--- You remember.
-Yeah... I just thought I should say, I don't know, something.
-The great communicator.
-Sorry I hit Jackson.
-He deserved it. He was born deserving it.
-He treats you okay?
-Okay.
-I treated you better.
-You want some coffee?
-Coffee? Nah, I gotta go.
-What's wrong, Stephen? C'mon, you only beat up the roof when something's on your mind. How's Brian doing?
-He's out.
-I know he's out, but how's he doing?
-Y'know, I treated him better than any other probie I ever had. He probably hates my guts, but I did the best thing for him. I made him finally look in the mirror.
-Ah Stephen, that's what this is really about, isn't it? You always have to be right.
-Hey, I'm the first one to admit when I'm wrong.
-Yeah? When was the last time?
-In a fire? Never. Look, I'm his brother. I care about him, y'know? He was going to get himself killed. Maybe not today, maybe not in a year, but it would've happened. And I couldn't -- I just couldn't...
-I'm sorry... I... couldn't sleep...
-What's wrong?
-Cook and I are almost finished here. Have a seat.
-Look, I'm sorry I --
--- No, that's okay. It's just Sean...
--- He's gettin' good on those eggs. And y'know, he told me he actually likes the piano.
-They ran the residue you scraped from both crispers' front doors. It's a combination of plumber's putty and rayophene gum. Burns almost completely away when you light it.
-Putty? On both doors?
-Anyway, down here, take a look...
-See that patch of shirt? We wondered about the discoloration so he ran a spectro. On a lucky shot we picked up some traces of Trychticholorate. Nobody around here had ever heard of it.
-Trychticholorate? Alright, it's an absorption catalyst in toxic waste accidents. It's pretty rare, they stopped making it a couple'a years ago.
-Probably got in Cosgrove's clothes in a gas state from the fire.
-What the hell was it doing in the fire?
-Shadow.
-How ya doin', Ronald. Staying comfortable?
-Didn't think you'd make it.
-Wouldn't miss this for the world, pal.
-Who's this?
-He works for me.
-Is he a fireman? I like firemen.
-You don't know him.
-Knock it off. Now.
-Tell him about me, Shadow?
-Ronald here likes telephones. Used to tape wooden matches to the bell striker and wrap it in cotton. Came up with a whole little thing there, didn't you Ronald? When you got bored, what did you do? You just started making calls... mostly day care centers and retirement homes, wasn't it?
-Did he tell you how we finally met?
-Nobody cares, Ronald.
-Sure Ronald? You're ready alright.
--- Burn them.
-And old ladies?
--- Burn them.
-And the world -- the whole world.
-Got a cause?
-Are the glory boys actually showing interest in Investigation's work? I may have a stroke.
-I'm working on it.
-I deal with this stuff every day. But a fireman... you never get used to it. What happened up there? He was a candidate. Did he pay attention? Was he listening?
-...He wasn't listening to the right thing...
-What do you listen to, Stephen?
-You don't know... nobody knows...
-It knows us. This one knows us.
-Alderman Swayzak.
-Investigator Rimgale.
-Inspector.
-When are you going to catch the prick that's doing this, Don?
-"Don?"
-Don't you have any leads at all?
-We still haven't found a connection between the victims.
-Jesus, open your eyes! Seagrave, Cosgrove, and now Holcomb -- fried in a goddamn high-rise!
-Is there a connection between them, Alderman?
-Mr. Swayzak! How ya doin'?
-I'm a little busy right now --
-I'm gonna need some bread, man. This ain't fair. I'm always here for you, and you can't even take decent care of me. My landlord is bitching like a motherfucker! You're two months behind on the rent, Lieutenant!
-Didya ever think of moving to a cheaper apartment? $3,500 a month is crazy, man!
-Brown Downtown... There hasn't been any smoking brown on the street in --
-I can't get over what those guys did to her. I just can't.
-They're alive, aren't they? Come on, man! Everyone's making such a fucking fuss, just because she's a nun. Just because she wears a penguin suit, the church puts up 50 G for the guys who dared to rape her. Do you think they'd put up a dime if you got raped? Of course not. Or even for your little sister? The virgin? Like shit
-Susie's not a virgin anymore.
-It's horrible. They burned her breasts with cigarettes. Christ.
-The Church is a fucking racket. I know how they operate. I've been part of the racket since the first time some faggot priest spilt water on my head. My Aunt Lu says I was crying all the way through. Yeah, I know their game inside out. Now I'm free of it and I'm gonna stay that way.
-I'm not talking about the fucking Church. Fuck the Church. But tell me. Do you believe in God?
-What's to believe?
-People.
-You believe that man is the be-all and end-all?
-Yeah.
-It's not the drugs, Ariane, it's -- it's someone who wants to kill me. You gotta believe me!
-Christ! Shit! I could kill them all with my bare hands.
-Who?
-C'mere. You got some good blow, right?
-Yeah.
-First I'll put your Uptown in the spoon, then, to make it more exciting, I'm gonna add some Downtown. They call this thing a speedball, honey, but then you must know that... First time shooting up?
-Nah...
-Can you believe the nerve of this fucking guy? He kills people for fun, and then, he puts up 100 G to bring in some guys who raped a nun. What a sick fuck. Man...
-Who?
-But you could do it, baby. We could use the bread...
-I got it, man! I will find those kids. And I'll get the 50 G from the Church! Then the kids'll go to jail. I'll be in charge, of course. After a little while, I'll break the fuckers out -- and I'll turn them in to shithead I was just talking to. And pick up his 100 G. No. I'll hit him up for
-"The Strawberries"?
-How come all those guys who're looking to get 50 from the Church haven't come up with shit? You got some kinda inside track?
-You took the chalice.
-Yes.
-You brought it back to the Church. And then it made it's way back to me, again.
-Are you all right, honey?
-So what are you doing here?
-He wants to know who brought in the chalice.
-That stuff'll kill you quick, man.
-What the fuck are you? A drug counselor or a drug dealer? And you don't even do your own product! What kind of businessman are you?
-The rich kind. Jeez, man. The way you smoke that shit is suicide.
-How are you doing, man?
-There. Now you've got your profit and more. You'll have more product day after tomorrow, right?
-Uh - right. Sure. The Mets are gonna win tomorrow.
-I forgive you.
-Me?
-I forgive you.
-You can't forgive me. After what I've done. I've fucked up bigtime. I've been bad. Real bad.
-I forgive you.
-I forgive you.
-Why? Why can't you hate me? Hate me! Please! Help me! Hate me! Help me! Hate me!
-I forgive you.
-I forgive you.
-Oh God, my God. it's goddamn good to be good. Forgive me. Father, for I have sinned. It's still goddamn good to be good.
-Large?
-All right, cop. I want my money.
-It's still my money. If you want to have a chance at any part of it, shithead, you will take my $120,000 and bet on tomorrow's game.
-What about the money you owe me on yesterday's game?
-Fuck yesterday's game. The World Series is seven games not six. Put in my bet.
-Let me think about it.
-Oh, really?
-Yeah, really. I'm no fucking asshole, man. I'm a fucking cop!
-Here's the deal: You meet me tonight across from the Garden. 33rd & 8th. At the beginning of the Ninth Inning. We'll listen to the end of the game together. You bring your cash, I'll bring mine.
-I got them all going for Oakland. With bullshit money. We'll cover the $800.
-All right. What are you gonna do?
-I want 15 on the Mets.
-Hey, man. Don't give me that bullshit. Don't pussy-out on me. The Mets are a fucking lock. I wanna make some money.
-Are you sure?
-OK asshole. You owe thirty grand. Now what are you gonna do?
-I wanna go double or nothing on the next game.
-Double or nothing? Are you fucking out of your mind?
-I'm not gonna let that bastard take my money
-Take your money? This guy will blow up your house and everyone in it!
-Fuck Strawberry. You're gonna end up owing 60 G to a homicidal maniac!
-Do you have the money?
-What money?
-I don't got it. Not tonight. You can't get blood from a stone.
-This psycho can.
-Oooo... Big fucking scary guy. Just put $120,000 on tomorrow's game.
-You're a fucking joke, you know that? He's been waiting for the money since the fucking game ended. And I've been waiting here since -- forget it. Listen up. You're gonna get us both fucking killed. You know that!
-You do know that he's gonna blow up your house, kill your wife and kids --
-Good. I'll give him an extra 10 grand for his trouble. I hate that motherfucking house and --
-He's gonna kill you, man. Do you hear me, motherfucker? You. Dead. Get it?
-How's the case going?
-What case?
-The fucking rapists, man. The punks who raped that nun. The $50,000 reward from the Church! Remember?
-Yeah. Sure. Yeah. We're on it bigtime. Lots of leads. You bet.
-Get this, man. I was at the game today. Face to fucking face with Strawberry! Jesus! I saw him strikeout. And you know what? He looked at me, and I looked at him, and he laughed and I laughed and it was like we were all alone in that whole stadium and only we understood that it was all a racket, that he struck
--- that there was never any other way it could have gone. Never any other way. So you had better just put in my fucking bet. $120,000 on the last game. The Big One. Come on! Are you a bookmaker, or fucking what?
-Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been two days since my last confession. Father, my sin is a terrible sin. A sin of omission. There was another sin that happened at the same time, and in the same place, but my sin I think was graver stil.
-Father, if it was so trivial, so natural, so -- No. I have sinned. And you must listen if you are to prescribe an appropriate act of contrition, and to absolve me. Father, what would you do if you had but one day in which to use your arms to serve God?
-It's funny, you knew. But the first thing I think of is kneading the bread that I help bake for the soup kitchen. Maybe that's because my the muscles in my arms still hurt.
-I also thought of that bread, Father. And of that night six days ago when the Mother Superior died, and I kept the cool, damp cloth on her forehead freshly moist. Father, what would you do if you had but one day in which to use your legs to serve God?
-I think of running for help, and falling to my knees in prayer.
-As I have prayed day and night since the desecration of this church yesterday morning -- and my sin. You see, Father --
-Yes, Sister?
-Those boys, those sad, raging boys... They came to me as the needy do. And like many of the needy, they were rude. Like all the needy, they took. And like all the needy, they needed. Father. I knew them; They learn in our school. And play in our schoolyard. And they are good boys.
-Yo, Big Black, we needs a name for this joint.
-BLAK OUT. BLAK LISTED. BLAK BALL. Need I say more.
-Keep trying.
-...Benedict Arnold...
-Same thing, y'knowwhatI'msayin', y'knowwhatI'msayin'!
-We know. We know. Yo, check it, my black brothers, we can't let this slide. Not this injustice. Nah, no way. Dem' two real coons iz ill.
-He gots to be did.
-You truly are a dancing fool.
-Everybody say Ho!
-Ho!
-My name is Honeycutt and I want to try something different. Can you do this for me?
-Yeah!
-C'mon. It's easy. It's the same thing y'all do out at the Yankee game, no different 'cept we changing one word. Everybody go it?
-YEAH!
-Alright. Here we go. Let's go NIGGERS! LET'S GO NIGGERS!
-Let's go niggers!
-You idiot. You almost gave me a massive coronary.
-I didn't mean to scare you like that.
-Well you did.
-Give me some?
-I'm not huggin' you in the middle of the street. You must be crazy, Julius.
-Whoa, hold up li'l sis'. I done told you 'bout that. Julius ain't my name, you better recognize Hopkins was our slave name. My true name is...
-I'm not callin you Big Black Africa. Mommy and Daddy named you Julius.
-Damn, Sis, you don't keep no food up in here in dis' piece.
-My group we need some exposure. Was wondering if you could hook a brother up?
-Hook you up? The Mau-Mau's? You must be smoking. Why in the world would I want to hook up a bunch of red, black and green flag-waving pseudo revolutionairies?
-So now I see where you're coming from. Just because we ain't rapping about Gucci, Timberland, Rolex, Benz, Cristal, ho's and bitches, we're pseudo.
-Who are you revolting against?
-We're revolting against the powers that be, that been enslaving the minds and hearts of all people of color. And we won't stop rapping till we bring about the overthrow of the government of the U.S. of A.
-Please.
-If you were really down you would get us together with that boss of yours. What's his name again?
-Delacroix.
-Yeah, him.
-What makes you think he would write a show about the Mau-Mau's.
-You don't have the demographics.
-So are you telling me that you wouldn't even introduce me to Delacroix or set up a meeting? I'm talking 'bout me, your only brother, ya own flesh and blood, hook a brother up, youknowwhatI'msayin'.
-That'swhatI'msayin'. I'm not blowin' my young career, brother or no brother, for you or anybody else.
-There is a name, a term for your kind, the likes of you. Back in slavery days, you would be classified as a house nigga.
-If you think I'm a house nigga then that's your prerogative. You got your ways to affect change, I have mine. And I would appreciate it very much if you took ya field nigga ass out of my house.
-My own sister throwin' me out. I hope to seeya later when you get ya mind right. Don't bother letting me out.
-The Mau-Mau's are up in dis place. That's right, the Mau-Mau's.
-What's your name?
-My righteous name is BIG BLACK.
-And what are the Mau-Mau's going to do for us today?
-We're ready when you are.
-Our first caller is Big Black from Brooklyn. Go 'head.
-And Big Black from Brooklyn, what do you do?
-What do I do?
-What do you do?
-And another thing, you better stay away from my sister or you better...
-Life is beginning to look up. It's all good in da neighborhood.
-You might be right.
-I'm not smiling.
-Naw, not you. It can't be. That hottie Sloan Hopkins.
-It's that bad, huh? It's all over my face.
-No shame in ya game. She got ya nostrils, ya chnoz is wide open. Sloan's what we certified ladies' men call low hanging fruit.
-Certified ladies' man, huh?
-What's that?
-Moorish. Ya get a little taste of dat booty, ya wanna get some MORE.
-Seconds and thirds, too.
-Sloan is all 'dat. I try her. I'm a tri-sexual.
-You'd try anything. I got first dibs. You get ya own stuff.
-DeLa - what's the matter with you.
-What's wrong with him?
-Please, have a seat.
-Sloan never told us she had friends like you.
-Why they gotta make my nose so big?
-I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid.
-What are you talkin' about?
-Jim Jones, y'know. I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid.
-Meaning?
-I'm out.
-Good. I've got a broken back from carrying you all these years anyway.
-So that's what you been doing?
-Damn skippy.
-You're in this up till ya neck.
-Don't shoot me, I'm just the piano players.
-You can walk away. We both can.
-Yeah, that's easy for you to do. You never had any talent.
-Good morning, Cheeba.
-Good morning to you, Mr. Delapot.
-De-la-croix.
-Sloan and I have been looking all over for you.
-You'd take no offense if we called you DeLa for short?
-No offense.
-I have this concept for a TV pilot. There's no guarantee it will get made but regardless, you'll still make some money.
-How much?
-What kind of show is this gonna be?
-What about in the mean time? Not the in between time?
-Nice to meet you.
-Gentlemen, the show, our show will be satirical. You know what that is, don't you? Trust me on this one.
-We might need some mo' money behind this.
-I'm starvin' like Marvin.
-My world famous, famous world Arroz con pollo will be ready very soon.
-Hurry up, I wanna watch HBO.
-Ahh, the luxuries of life.
-Yo, check it. This is good and all that but one day soon I want to have much Benjamins so I can have a nice crib and pay all my bills. You hear me.
-Chill, I'm the brains behind this outfit.
-And I'm the feet.
-Yo, you gotta show some patience. You want me to snap my fingers and presto chango - you're an overnight sensation. Son, there is no such thing.
-We ran out without my shoes and the floor. I gotta get my stuff. What about our savings?
-We got evicted from our home. We've both been on the streets for the last week.
-We was coming to see you.
-If it's not too much trouble could you order us some food?
-That ain't funny.
-Manray, Sloan says you're too talented to be dancing on the street.
-My tap shoes.
-What do I have to do?
-Some tap dancing, some singing.
-How different?
-Trust me. Of course I still have to pitch it to my boss, but we'll have an answer one way or the other.
-DeLa, I'm aboard. As long as I get to hoof and get paid too!!!
-I would like to change your name.
-To what?
-You're now Mantan.
-I want you to start using the name Mantan and not Manray if you don't mind.
-Why?
-Mantan?
-I'm not playin' myself no mo'.
-How you sound?
-I won't do it anymore.
-Manray, I'm very sorry about ya boy Cheeba and Sloan. Believe me, it gave me no joy pulling ya coattail about her, just lookin' out for a brother. I feel you, all this stuff happenin' at once but you can't let if affect your work. You gotta be professional.
-I'm always gonna be that. But I ain't doing no more buck dancing.
-Our guest today is Pierre Delacroix. He is the creator of the highly controversial TV show MANTAN. Let's get right into it. You have been called by some in the community a traitor, a sellout, an Uncle Tom. Why does your show generate such feelings?
-Because race has always been a sensitive issue in this country. Gary, I have no problem with people disagreeing with the show, it's when folks start trying to mess with my inherent right as an artist, that's when I get mad. No one, in any way, shape or form should be censored.
-No matter how sexist or racist the material may be?
-Yes. And I say yes because who is to judge? Who is to stand before us and say this is righteous and this is not? Who? Who can play God?
-But the line has to be drawn.
-Don't you people get it? We're in the 21st Century. Slavery was over four hundred years ago. All that stuff people talked in the old days, it's over. Folks always crying, white man this, white man that. Let's all grow up.
-Are you trying to excuse our Holocaust?
-...exactly thirty-two minutes ago.
-I'm sorry I'm late.
-Do you know how much information can be dispensed in one minute alone?
-Four minutes ago.
-So are you telling me everyone knew about this get-together except you?
-Do you know what C.P. Time is?
-I'm sorry about my blowup but I have to have a whipping boy every meeting.
-I understand. But again, in all honesty I was not informed.
-I understand Black culture. I grew up around black people all my life. If the truth be told I probably know "niggers" better than you, Monsieur Delacroix. Please don't get offended by my use of the quote-unquote N word. I got a black wife and three bi-racial children, so I feel I have a right to use that word. I don't give a damn
-I would prefer you not use that word in my presence.
-The material you've been creating is too white bread. White people with black faces. The Huxtable's, Cosby, revolutionary. But that's dead. We can't go down that road again.
-I don't agree. The Negro middle class does exist, and it's rich material for a dramatic series or sitcom.
-The middle class black family moves into a white suburban enclave. The middle class black family moves into a small Southern town that is run by the KKK. The middle class single black father raises his teenage daughter. The middle class single black father raises his teenage daughter. The middle class single black mother raises her teenage son. And so on and so forth.
-Delacroix, wake up, brother man. The reason why they didn't get picked up was because nobody - and I mean NOBODY - niggers and crackers alike wants to see that junk.
-I've never been given a fair shot.
-You got your head stuck up your ass with your Harvard education and your pretentious ways. Brother man, I'm blacker than you. I'm keepin' it real and you're frontin', trying to be white.
-I'm an oreo, a sell out? Because I don't aspire to do HOMEBOYS FROM OUT OF SPACE, SECRET DIARY OF DESMOND PFEIFFER, A PJ's or some as you might put it, some "nigger" show? I'm a Tom? I'm whiter than white and you're blacker than black? Is that what you think?
-That's exactly what I think. I want you to create something that people want to see. Let's be honest, the majority of the people in the country are deaf, dumb and blind and I'm including 35 million African-Americans. You know and I know "niggers" set the trend, set the styles. This is a golden opportunity now. These idiots have to be led to the
-I'm not sure if I can deliver what you want.
-What is it you want from me? Some plantation follies? Some sitcom that takes place on a watermelon patch? Some show that follows four nigger generations of junkies and crackheads? You want me to go back to the ante bellum days?
-Delacroix, I'm glad you got your mind right.
-We're all happy to be here and I'm going to paint a picture for you.
-I'm wid it.
-I've done a lot of soul searching and once again you are right. In my previous work it's been all surface, superficial. I have never really dug deep. Not anymore. As Mark Twain fully understood satire is the way. Race has always been a hot button in this country's history and it needs to be pushed harder. If we are ever to live side
-Go on. Good so far.
-Word!!!
-So let's take this great form, this very American tradition of entertainment into the 21st century, into the new millennium.
-The name of the show?
-It is called: MANTAN - THE NEW MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW.
-I'm feelin' dis'!
-It will take a lot of courage and backbone on the part of the CNS to get this on the air. In fact, I would understand fully if the subject matter is deemed too risque, too controversial.
-Don't worry about that, that's my department. Now who do we cast? We need a star. Can Whoopi sing or dance?
-I don't know if Whoopi is the way to go.
-That's a great handle.
-Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat. Two real coons. I know we're way out there but it's satire.
-Every week we follow the trials and tribulations of two real coons - Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat. The Dusky Duo.
-What are there character traits?
-Ignorant, dullwitted, lazy, and unlucky.
-Exactly!
-Mantan is an uneducated Negro who always by some stroke of unbelievable stupidity makes his best laid plans go haywire.
-And Sleep 'n Eat is his comical sidekick?
-Yep, you guessed it.
-Protest finally forced "Amos and Andy" off the air. Could stop us from ever getting on.
-Negroes would be in an uproar.
-So what. We would just give the NAACP a donation that would be the end of that. No such thing as bad publicity. So what. Earlier you said singing and dancing.
-Mantan right here is a gifted hoofer. He has educated feet.
-Who are the other characters?
-We gonna hit 'em wid da BOMB DICKEY on dis' one. What's the setting?
-In the projects. Like Eddie Murphy's "The PJ's."
-And every week these Alabama porch monkeys will make us cry, make us laugh, make us look at our own humanity. Make us feel good to be alive.
-I don't know about that plantation angle.
-That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout. That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout! He's off the hiz-hook!
-We think so.
-I strongly feel that a Negro should direct this. This kind of satire is a high wire act in a gale storm. One misstep and we're doing "Amos and Andy." Only a Negro will have the sensitivity and cultural awareness to navigate this dangerous terrain.
-I was hoping to perhaps direct some episodes myself, if not the pilot soon after.
-I want a hot, young white director. Maybe the kid, that pheenom who just did that hot new sexy Madonna video.
-You're telling me some white boy is gonna direct this pilot?
-I just want you to meet him. Keep an open mind.
-Besides, what does he know about Negroes?
-Probably nuthin', but that's why it's such a sexy way to go. Sometimes an outsider has a fresh new outlook, a different unique perspective. A black director, y'know what he's gonna do given the subject matter? With this kid, the possibilities are endless.
-What are his qualifications besides being a white male and directing a hot new sexy freaky Madonna video?
-If Spielburg can direct "The Color Purple" and "Amistad", our whiz kid can direct the Mantan pilot.
-That's exactly my point. Has he even directed actors before in anything?
-In the immortal words of Derrick Coleman, WHOOOPDEEDAMNDOO!!!
-I'm gonna leave you two creative geniuses alone.
-I will not be held responsible for these revisions. These changes are not the way I want to go. This is an outrage. This is a sham. A violation!
-I don't give a good goddamn about Finland, Norway, Sweden or wherever ya blond ass came from.
-We just punched it up a bit. Made it funnier.
-Funnier to who and at who's expense? Dunwitty, when Negroes start to run amok, the boycotts, when the demostrations commence, I'm giving them your home address. Let's see how you like it when they picket your lawn in Greenwich, Connecticut.
-Yo, DeLa, I just got the news from the CNS brass. They saw some clips from the pilot and they're rushing it onto the air. Yo, we're a midseason replacement, ordered 12 shows. We're on in 3 weeks. Didya hear what I just said, Yo?
-They didn't even view a rough cut, just some scenes we quickly cut together.
-This has to be a big mistake.
-The big mistake was my not believing in your genius earlier. From the gitgo, from jump street.
-Hold on a sec, I got a call.
-Hello, Mommy, let me get rid of this other call.
-I gots to go, it's my Moms.
-What do you want?
-I want to speak with you.
-Go away, unless you got my money.
-Son. Good to seeya. Good to seeya.
-It's been a long time.
-Pull up a chair. Oh, excuse me, this is my lady DOT.
-Good woman. I trained her right.
-Daddy, she's younger than me.
-Purely for medicinal purposes.
-I did. I'm not an alcoholic. I just like to drink.
-How did you end up here?
-That's what I'm askin'.
-Because I had too much pride. Too much integrity. I wouldn't lick nobody's butt. Some material I refused to do.
-That's the only reason, period. They only want one certain kind of black comic.
-Another one of your conspiracies to hold ya career back?
-Enough about me, what's happening with you?
-Dem white boys giving you a hard time?
-Nuthin' I can't handle.
-The truth is never let them seeya sweat. You do that, that's half the battle.
-Where do you go from here?
-Three nights Charleston, South Carolina.
-I didn't mean that, in life.
-Let's get him over to the bed.
-I love you too, Daddy.
-Glad to meet you, too. You are all your father talks about.
-How long has my father been like this?
-Not that often. He was excited to see you.
-So he drank himself into a stuper?
-The drinking is for the pain. It doesn't kill it, just dulls it.
-So what's up with you?
-Don't tell him it's from me or he won't take it.
-He never showed it.
-How was it?
-Why didn't you tell me about this staff meeting?
-Nobody told me anything.
-What good are you if you don't tell me stuff like this?
-Manray!
-How did you know?
-It hit me like a ton of bricks.
-How can this be? You and me at the same time, the exact same thought. It's scary.
-Manray was under our nose the whole time.
-Do you know how you will use him?
-You lost me.
-Dunwitty wants a Coon show. And that's what I'm going to give him, it's going to be so racist, so negative, he won't have the balls to put it on the air. Hence I'll prove my point.
-What point is that?
-The point being that him, the networks don't want Black people on television unless they are buffoons.
-Sounds risky to me.
-You getting cold feet?
-I'm in till the end.
-Good. I'm going to need your support.
-Can't you just quit? Walk away?
-Maybe something happened to them. Maybe they're lying in an alley bleed to death.
-Hello.
-You okay?
-What is your problem?
-My problem is MANTAN THE NEW MILLENIUM MINSTREL SHOW.
-Why did you even come up with that shit if you didn't want it made?
-It was the principle. Dunwitty had to be enlightened. I was making a point. I take pride in my work. Plus, I already told you I wasn't gonna walk away from my money.
-Even if money wasn't an issue, Dunwitty will still go ahead without me and that could be more dangerous.
-What's the chances of MANTAN being picked up?
-I wouldn't bet against it. My Negroidal ass is stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
-Good morning, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Pierre Delacroix. I'm running things and this here is my assistant Sloan Hopkins.
-Hello.
-This is the group I was telling you about.
-Which one is your brother?
-You've said that already.
-Just want to say good luck.
-Your life will never be the same.
-Let's leave the man in peace so he can get ready.
-We both lied to him.
-What do you want me to say?
-Same here.
-I want to apologize about my brother and the Mau-Mau's. I should not have imposed them on you.
-Who's side are you on?
-What would their reaction be? I hadn't the foggiest.
-So you have your small victory, now what?
-What is this?
-A gift.
-For what?
-The Jolly Nigger Bank.
-This is authentic, not a repro, circa turn of the century.
-Thanks.
-I thought it was appropiate.
-Is that good or bad?
-It's all good. You got a hit show, you're gonna need a bank. Plus, I love these old black collectibles.
-How so?
-Why'd you do that?
-I don't want to hear it.
-How long have you and Hambone been hangin' out?
-You're the one that put us together. We're friends.
-That crazy brother of yours doesn't think so.
-He's just playing big brother.
-Oh, is he? You getting jiggy with Mantan?
-Please don't go there.
-Dunwitty and I feel you've been getting too close to him, getting his mind all messed up.
-I can't lie to him. If he asks me something, I tell him what I think.
-DeLa, you should try it sometime. Come into the light.
-Light?
-That which has been hidden in darkness is now in the light. This bucket of blood.
-This is crazy.
-That was a mistake, but I don't regret it.
-The first and only time. A big mistake. I'm gonna have to ask you not to see Mantan anymore.
-Otherwise. I trust you know the difference. You're an intelligent woman, finished at NYU.
-DeLa, kiss my big black ass.
-Don't make me have to use this.
-I told you but you wouldn't listen. You never listened to me.
-Yes, your name?
-He, I'm Mona.
-Hi, Mona.
-I perfectly understand where you're coming from. As a minority I can relate to your struggle also. But I think you should give us all a chance. We want this pilot to be successful just as much as you. Please don't be so quick to judge us based only on our whiteness.
-This thing was rigged, the deck was stacked, the fix was in. Could Don King be near? Good thing Sloan had my back. She's my rock. This was going to be a whole lot of work.
-David, I appreciate your comments. Anybody got an ideas? Everybody just talk out loud.
-I'm happy for all of us. It's just we have a great responsibility now. The pressure is on.
-Pressure? DeLa, you don't know what the hell real pressure is. SHEEETT!!! This is lightstuff. Now when you scramblin' out on the street in da January winter and the hawk is talkin' to you with NO money and NO prospects of money anytime soon, now that there is some pressure.
-That's the way it came out. Let me ask you one question. Have you ever been in want, in need your entire privileged life?
-Now I'm privileged?! Why? Because I didn't grow up on food stamps and welfare? Because I didn't call home a cardboard box? No, I never ever went to bed hungry and I'm proud of it, too. Whoever told you that living in poverty earns you somekind of badge of honor flat out lied to you.
-Can I kiss you too?
-Naw. I'll take the zero.
-You feel good, not nervous?
-I feel fine.
-Not nervous? Relaxed?
-So they can be on TV.
-You sound like the media.
-This is nothing. It will blow over by tomorrow.
-Same thing Giuliani said.
-No joke. Serious.
-Hope the same thing doesn't happen to me. That's some big shoes to fill.
-What are you? A man or a mouse? Are you a punk? Punking out on me?
-No.
-You getting scared because some people don't like what you are doing?
-You've made it from the guttermost to the uppermost. Don't you know you should never let them see you sweat. Y'knowwhatI'msayin'?
-Yeah.
-You shouldn't even be mad at me over Sloan.
-What you did is dead wrong.
-Oh, is it? Buddy boy, in this business if people don't produce, they get fired.
-Sloan is the hardest working person I've ever met.
-Let me ask you a question, if I may. How do you think she got the job in the first place? I don't mean to burst your bubble, Mantan the Marvelous, but Sloan is an opportunity.
-I don't believe it.
-Mantan, we got a show to tape.
-My name is Manray, goddamnit.
-You must think I'm some kind of fool.
-It looks delicious.
-You hear me talkin' to you. The only time you come up here when something is wrong.
-C'mon, Mommy, don't start with that I'm an ungrateful son stuff.
-How's the food?
-Can't beat it with a hammer. Well, since you asked, it looks like I may have a new show, a pilot being shot.
-It was. It is. But this is a different kind of show.
-If at first it's not what you want, just work that much harder, Peerless.
-Mommy, please don't call me that.
-Son, Peerless is your name. Now you might be one of these Hollywood types, change your name and all that but Peerless Dothan is on your birth certificate.
-I know what's on my birth certificate. You heard from Daddy?
-I guess he's still on the road. What kind of show is this? Are they some Negroes in it without being buffoons?
-To answer your question, there are a lot of Negroes in it and what is your definition of buffoons?
-Peerless, I didn't raise a buffoon. We have enough of those on television already.
-Please let me know when you hear from Daddy, get a number or something.
-Peerless, your father called.
-He wants you to come and see him.
-He said that?
-Yes he did.
-Where is he?
-He's performing at some place outside of Richmond, Virginia.
-Richmond is not all the way down south.
-I don't even know why you're still concerned over him. Daddy's not with you.
-Regardless, he still is your father.
-It's gonna be hard for me to get away with the show taking off.
-Even more reason to see him. He'll be overjoyed with your success.
-C'mon, Mommy. Daddy hasn't been impressed with anything I've ever done. From winning my fifth grade Spelling Bee to the present.
-I'm doing okay. Been reading about your show, it's all over everywhere. I watched it's all over everywhere. I watched it once. I thought you said there would be no buffoonery.
-You going to attack me too. The show is a hit. Aren't you happy for me?
-Of course I'm happy for you. You've worked very hard for your success.
-Yes I have, very hard. Has Daddy called?
-No.
-Not at all?
-You know how your Daddy is.
-If and when he calls, please don't forget to ask him if he's seen Mantan.
-I won't forget. When are you coming up here to see your mother?
-Nice to meet you. If you don't mind me asking you - how old are you?
-Where are you from?
-Helsinki, which is the capital of Finland.
-Finland.
-You know, Finlandia vodka? Yes?
-Yes, I know. Jukka, have you ever seen a Negro person before? Even had a real conversation with a real Negro before?
-A fiasco. A disaster. A boondoggle. An abomination.
-Did you just ask me what's a Negro? I'M A NEGRO!!!
-Ahhh!!! I never heard of that term before. I thought you were BLACK of African-American. No?
-Well before there was BLACK or AFRICAN AMERICAN, there were NEGROES. I'M A NEGRO.
-How did you get this gig?
-My visual style is very erotic, sexy, how do you say - hot?
-This is a TV show, not a music video.
-Then will you teach me what I need to know. Maybe we learn from each other, if that's possible, no?
-Good luck, Jukka. Do a good show.
-I know all of you have seen the overnight ratings. Through the roof. But in this game you gotta be one, two, three steps ahead. I introduce you to Myrna Goldfarb. She's the best media consultant in the biz.
-Myrna is here to help us plan our strategy.
-The Mantan Manifesto. Catchy ain't it? Number One. We gainfully employ African Americans, in front of and behind the cameras. Two. Let the audience decide. Three. Who put these critics in charge? These so-called cultural police? Four. Who determines what is black? Five. Mantan is a satire. Six. If they can't take a joke, "F" 'em.
-Let Myrna finish.
-Yes you!
-I never had a really real pair before.
-You've never had any formal training, either?
-Not a class, not a thing, just picked stuff up by myself.
-I wish I had your natural talent. God only makes that visit once in a while.
-You sing and dance?
-A little. I just graduated from NYU film school. Cinema studies.
-So what's up with you and DeLa?
-What do you mean?
-No, we're not knocking boots. I got this internship while I still was at NYU, DeLa was impressed with my get up and go and hired me to be his assistant.
-I'm sure that was the only thing he was impressed with. You look beautiful like that.
-If that was suppose to be a compliment, I thank you.
-You're welcome. You shouldn't give up on performing.
-Why do you say that? You've never seen me.
-I think that would probably make you the happiest. When I'm hoofing, I mean really doing my thing, hitting it, nothing compares to that feeling in the world.
-Our guest tonight is the extraordinary, talented performer, Mantan. Thanks for coming in.
-Tavis, thank you for having me.
-Before we begin, I want to thank you for coming on my show for your first television interview. You could have chosen Mike Wallace, Barbara Walters, Jane Pauley, whatnot but you're here.
-I'm more comfortable around my people.
-Let's jump right into it. Your show has sparked a world of controversy, provoked a tone of dialogue. How do you see all of this?
-Money and nothing else?
-Money makes the world go round. It ain't no joke being poor. I know whatI'mtalkin''bout. Y'knowwhatI'msayin'? I've lived on the street. I've been homeless. I've learned how to play the game, work the game, be in the game.
-Is it inevitable that the game plays you?
-No if you go with the flow, Tavis. That's what a lot of Negroes don't understand. Protesting isn't gonna do a damn thing. If people don't like our satire in our number one hit show then don't watch it. Or better yet write your own show. Do it better.
-Don't you feel that is a simplistic retort?
-I don't know what a retort is, but it's simple. Mantan - The New Millennium Minstrel Show is UNIVERSAL. It's not just for Negroes in Compton or 125th in Harlem. This is America. Our ancestors helped build this country, we got a right, just like everybody else. I'm not gonna box myself in. This show makes people think, and they're laughing at the same
-This is my best friend Sleep 'N Eat.
-We both left the hustle and bustle of Uptown, Harlem...
-...the big apple, New York, New York.
-To come back to our roots.
-Our Alabamy Home. Now we're getting countrified. We is Bama's.
-No mo' "city slickers." Ahh, can't you smell the sweet aroma of the ripe watermelons and high cotton?
-Tell 'em what you mean Mistuh Mantan.
-Well, thank you Mistuh Sleep 'N Eat.
-Cousins, I want all of you to go to your windows. Go to your windows and yell. Yell, I'm tired of the drugs, the crack babies born out of wedlock to crackhead aids infested parents. I'm tired of the inflated welfare rolls while good wholesome Americans bring less and less of their paycheck home every two weeks. I'm tired, you're tired, we're all tired
-You tellin' the truth.
-Y'know my lady Lucindy?
-The one with da big...
-Not her, the one with the little...
-Oh her.
-No, not that. How 'bout...
-She hates dem.
-Too bad. How 'bout a dress?
-Sleep 'N Eat, one of dem slinky, sexy, little foxy...
-Mantan, way too short, too tight. Get her one of dose...
-...to big. The in-between one, not too tight, not too lose.
-Not for me, my woolly headed cotton pickin' friend for...
-I thought you got rid of...
-...that was Vicki, her best friend. Dat dress will cast ya round...
-...dat's too much money. I can't 'ford it. I needs me a dress that cost no mo' than...
-...aconite get it dat cheap.
-I'll buy her a less expensive dress, so I can have some money left over to take her out to dinner.
-I heard ya lady is wild.
-No. That's her second cousin. Who's married to Li'l Bit.
-Oh, because on our first date, she let me...
-...no, she didn't...
-...yes she did.
-...I heard different, thought that was...
-...not that time...
-So when are you comin' to pick us up?
-Around...
-...too early...
-...then what about...
-...too late, maybe around...
-...perfect...
-That's what I like about you and me. We git along...
-...like macaroni and cheese...
-...like grits and butter...
-I fell out of my bed last night.
-You slept too near where you got in?
-I slept too near where I fell out.
-Sleep 'N Eat, what's the matter with you? Using all dose ten dollar words?
-Mantan, it is possible that my hyphenated sentences are entirely too complex for all the intellect contained in that diminutive coconut?
-Hold on, you allegorical hypothesis. Don't cross words with me.
-Ain't Jemima on the pancake box?
-Dat's yo Uncle Ben. That reminds me, I've seen a lot of troubles lately.
-How be dat?
-I don't know who I am.
-Well, I'll be an Alabama porch monkey's uncle.
-Sleep 'N Eat, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo' and behold, as the husband of a person's grandmother is his grandfather, I Mantan, became my own grandfather.
-I feel a song a comin' on.
-People show their happiness in a lot of different ways.
-A lot?
-So what's up with you?
-What do you want to know?
-The good stuff.
-I'm an asthmatic. Been one all my life. Can't go anywhere without an inhaler.
-What else?
-This is a nice place. It must have cost a pretty penny.
-Sloan, I got it like 'dat.
-Oh you do, huh?
-Just a little something' somethin'.
-I hope you save a little somethin' somethin'.
-Gots no intention of ending up broke.
-Y'know, at the beginnin' of the century, African-American had to perform in blackface. You ever heard of Bert Williams? He was a great artist.
-No, before my time.
-You don't read, do you?
-Never read a book in my whole life.
-Maybe you need to start.
-Maybe I need to do a lot of things.
-Why all of a sudden are you flippin' on me? This blackface thing was part of the deal from the git-go. Don't even try to play it like you ain't a part of all this. You down with Delacroix.
-I just don't want you and Cheeba to get hurt.
-Why don't you call him?
-You're sure this is a good idea.
-I'll be down front. You better start putting your face on.
-Y'know what?
-What?
-How did you get this gig?
-Worked my black ass off, first as an intern, then worked my way up to this position.
-You leave something out?
-After my internship expired, Dela was impressed and offered me a position as his assistant.
-And?
-And what?
-Stop playing me Sloan.
-Just ask me what you want to know.
-Oh, you gonna make me say it.
-Say what, Manray?
-Did you ever sleep with DeLa?
-We did it one time, only once. It had nothing to do with the job, it was stupid. Everything I've got I've earned.
-Aw, c'mon.
-So you say. Sloan, you wuz gonna use me up just like you used Dela? Work it to the top. I never imagined people in this biz could flip on you like "IHOP." I'm damn happy DeLa fired ya ass.
-Forget about me, are you a puppet for DeLa?
-Don't try to change to the subject.
-Why don't you answer?
-I know I won't be your puppet.
-You can go now.
-Good day to you, young sir.
-Good morning.
-Where are you bound for?
-That is none of your business.
-Is your mother not afraid on account of the highwayman to let one so young as you travel?
-And, I'll tell you what, Mr. Dugan, I've been insulted grossly in this house. I ain't at all satisfied with these here ways of going on. I'm an Englishman, I am, and a man of property; and I -- I --
-Both of us ride home with Best here.
-I'm not afraid of highwaymen. My man is armed, and so am I.
-There's nothing else for it. Take your ground, Grogan -- twelve paces, I suppose?
-Ten, sir, and make them short ones, do you hear, Captain Grogan?
-Hoity-toity! John Best, what's the matter here?
-I'll tell you what it is, Mr. Dugan. I have had enough of Miss Dugan here and your Irish ways. I ain't used to 'em, sir.
-Well, well! What is it? We'll make you used to our ways, or adopt English ones.
-It's not the English way, for ladies to have two lovers, and, so, Mr. Dugan, I'll thank you to pay me the sum you owe me, and I resign all claims to this young lady. If she has a fancy for school-boys, let her take 'em, sir.
-Pooh! Pooh! Best, you are joking.
-My companion treated me with great civility, and asked me a thousand questions about England, which I answered as best I might. But this best, I am bound to say, was bad enough. I knew nothing about England, and I invented a thousand stories which I told him; described the king and the ministers to him, said the British ambassador in Berlin was my
-What is your uncle's name?
-O'Grady.
-This is a very good inn. Shall we stop for dinner?
-This may be a very good inn for Germany, but it would not pass in old Ireland. Corbach is only a league off, let us push on for Corbach.
-Ah! You sly rogue, I see that will influence you.
-The place seems more a farm than an inn-yard.
-Where's the beauty you promised me?
-Upon my word, sir, I think you have acted very coolly.
-I have acted as I think fit.
-Sir, I'm a British officer.
-It's a lie! You're a deserter! You're an impostor, sir; Your lies and folly have confirmed this to me. You pretend to carry dispatches to a general who has been dead these ten months; you have an uncle who is an ambassador and whose name you don't know. Will you join and take the bounty, sir, or will you be given up?
-Good morning, Private James. Please come in. I should like you to meet my uncle, Herr Minister of Police Galgenstein.
-The captain was the nephew and heir of the Minister of Police, Herr Galgenstein, a relationship which, no doubt, aided in the younger gentlemen's promotion.
-Your loyalty to me and your service to the regiment has pleased me very well -- and now there is another occasion on which you may make yourself useful to us; if you succeed, depend on it, your reward will be your discharge from the army, and a bounty of 100 guineas.
-What is the service, sir?
-You are a Hungarian; you served in the army, and left on account of weakness in the loins. He gambles a great deal, and wins. Do you know the cards well?
-Only a very little, as soldiers do.
-What are the Chevalier's intentions?
-Has he sent the challenge yet?
-You say he drives after breakfast and before dinner. When he comes out to his carriage a couple of gendarmes will mount the box, and the coachman will get his orders to move on.
-And his baggage?
-This is a pretty way to recommend yourself to the family.
-Dorothy might love me or not, as she likes, but Best will have to fight me before he marries her!
-A pretty day's work of it you have made, Master Roderick. Knowing your uncle to be distressed for money, and try and break off a match which will bring fifteen hundred a-year into the family? Best has promised to pay off the four thousand pounds which is bothering your uncle so. He takes a girl without a penny -- a girl that has been
-And so I am.
-And this is the return you make for his kindness! Didn't he harbor you in his house when your father died, and hasn't he given you and your mother, rent-free, your fine house of Jamesville yonder?
-Mark this, come what will of it, I swear I will fight the man who pretends to the hand of Dorothy Dugan. I'll follow him if it's into the church, and meet him there. I'll have his blood, or he shall have mine. Will you take my message to him, and arrange the meeting?
-Well, if it must be, it must. For a young fellow, you are the most bloodthirsty I ever saw. No officer, bearing His Majesty's commission, can receive a glass of wine on his nose, without resenting it -- fight you must, and Best is a huge, strong fellow.
-He'll give the better mark. I am not afraid of him.
-Have you taken my message to him?
-The meeting is arranged. Captain Best is waiting for you now.
-My mare is saddled and ready; who's the captain's second?
-That's a very handsome sword you have there.
-It was with this sword that my late father, Harry James, God rest his soul, met Sir Huddelstone Fuddelstone, the Hampshire baronet, and was fatally run through the neck. He was quite in the wrong, having insulted Lady Fuddelstone, when in liquor, at the Brentford Assembly. But, like a gentleman, he scorned to apologize.
-And now you risk the same fate. If you are killed, your mother is all alone in the world.
-I hope to spoil this sport, and trust to see this sword of mine in that big bully's body.
-Oh, it's with pistols we fight. You are no match for Best with the sword.
-I'll match any man with the sword.
-But swords are today impossible; Captain Best is -- is lame. He knocked his knee against the swinging park gate last night, as he was riding home, and can scarce move it now.
-Not against Castle Dugan gate, that has been off the hinges these ten years.
-Look here, Roderick, my boy; this is silly business. The girl will marry Best, mark my words; and as sure as she does, you'll forget her. You are but a boy. Best is willing to consider you as such. Dublin's a fine place, and if you have a mind to take a ride thither and see the town for a month, here are twenty
-Grogan gave me a wink of recognition, but offered no public token of acquaintance and it was not until two days afterwards that he called me into his quarters, and then, shaking hands with me cordially, gave me news which I wanted, of my family.
-I had news of you in Dublin. Faith, you've begun early, like your father's son, but I think you could not do better than as you have done. But why did you not write home to your poor mother? She has sent half-a-dozen letters to you in Dublin.
-I suppose she addressed them to me in my real name, by which I never thought to ask for them at the post office.
-I see you are thinking of a certain young lady at Duganstown.
-Is Miss Dugan well?
-There's only six Miss Dugans now... poor Dorothy.
-Good heavens! Whatever? Has she died of grief?
-She took on so at your going away that she was obliged to console herself with a husband. She is now Mrs. John Best.
-Mrs. John Best! Was there another Mr. John Best?!
-No, the very same one, my boy. He recovered from his wound. The ball you hit him with was not likely to hurt him. It was only made of tow. Do you think the Dugans would let you kill fifteen hundred a-year out of the family? The plan of the duel was all arranged in order to get you out of the way, for
-The coward!
-Mr. O'Higgins, I cannot say how grateful I am for your timely assistance to my wife.
-I am only sorry that I was unable to prevent the villain from carrying off all her ladyship's money and pearls.
-Mr. O'Higgins, we are in your debt, and rest assured, sir, you have friends in this house whenever you are in Dublin. Mister O'Higgins, I wonder if I know your good father?
-Which O'Higgins do you know? For I have never heard your name mentioned in my family.
-Oh, I am thinking of the O'Higgins of Redmondstown. General O'Higgins was a close friend of my wife's dear father, Colonel Granby Somerset.
-Ah -- I see. No, I'm afraid mine are the O'Higgins of Watertown.
-Whom have I been harboring in my house? Who are you, sirrah?
-Sirrah! Sirrah, I am as good a gentleman as any in Ireland!
-You're an impostor, young man, a schemer, a deceiver!
-Repeat the words again, and I run you through the body.
-Chevalier, though I cannot say how, I believe you have cheated me.
-I deny your Grace's accusations, and beg you to say how you have been cheated?
-I don't know.
-Your Grace owes me seventy thousand frederics, which I have honorably won.
-Chevalier, if you will have your money now, you must fight for it. If you will be patient, maybe I will pay you something another time.
-Your Grace, if I am so tame as to take this, then I must give up an honorable and lucrative occupation.
-Where is my rascal, Lazlo?
-Good gracious! What is this?
-You are going to drive to the frontier.
-It is shameful -- infamous! I insist upon being put down at the Austrian ambassador's house.
-I have orders to gag your honor if you cry out, and to give you this purse containing ten thousand frederics if you do not.
-Ten thousand? But the scoundrel owes me seventy thousand.
-Your honor must lower his voice.
-All Europe shall hear of this!
-I have no luggage.
-You are the young man who M. de Seebach recommended?
-Your name is Lazlo Zilagyi?
-Yes, sir.
-You come highly recommended by Herr Seebach.
-Herr Seebach was a very kind employer.
-For whom else have you worked?
-No one, sir. Before that I served in the army but had to leave due to weakness of the loins.
-Who else can give me information about you?
-And I think he was as much affected as I was at thus finding one of his kindred; for he, too, was an exile from home, and a friendly voice, a look, brought the old country back to his memory again, and the old days of his boyhood.
-The cards are now my only livelihood. Sometimes I am in luck, and then I lay out my money in these trinkets you see. It's property, look you, and the only way I have found of keeping a little about me. When the luck goes against me, why, my dear, my diamonds go to the pawnbrokers and I wear paste. Do you understand the
-I can play as soldiers do, but have no great skill.
-But they will prevent a meeting at whatever the cost.
-Have no fear. It will come out well for me.
-I believe they will deport you.
-I have faced that problem before.
-But, if they send you away, then what is to become of me?
-Make your mind easy, you shall not be left behind, I warrant you. Do take a last look at your barracks, make your mind easy, say a farewell to your friends in Berlin. The dear souls, how they will weep when they hear you are out of the country, and, out of it, you shall go.
-Gentlemen, I wish you a good day. Will you please go to the house from whence we set out this morning, and tell my man there to send my baggage on to Three Kings at Dresden?
-When the Duke of Courland brought fourteen lackeys each with bags of florins, and challenged our bank to play against the sealed bags, what did we ask?
-It is distasteful to kill a scoundrel -- that should be work for a hangman.
-To risk one's life against such people is an imposition.
-I risk nothing, for I am certain to kill him.
-Certain?
-I entered here, monsieur, at a bad moment for you; it seems that you love this lady.
-Certainly, monseigneur, does not Your Excellency consider her worthy of love?
-Perfectly so; and what is more, I will tell you that I love her, and that I am not of a humor to put up with rivals.
-Very well! Now that I know it, I will no longer love her.
-Then you yield to me.
-On the instant. Everyone must yield to such a nobleman as you.
-Very well; but a man who yields takes to his legs.
-That is a trifle strong.
-No.
-Have you had one?
-Never.
-But, for a time... a passing fancy?
-Not even that.
-How can I believe that there is not a man who has inspired desires in you?
-Not one.
-Have you not a man whom you value?
-That man has, perhaps, not yet been born.
-What! You have not met a man worthy of your attention?
-Many worthy of attention; but valuing is something more. I could value only someone whom I loved.
-Then you have never loved? Your heart is empty.
-Your word "empty" makes me laugh. Is it fortunate, or unfortunate? If it is fortunate, I congratulate myself. If it is unfortunate, I do not care, for I am not aware of it.
-It is nonetheless a misfortune, and you will know it when you love.
-But if, when I love, I am unhappy, I will know that my empty heart was my good fortune.
-That is true, but it seems to me impossible that you should be unhappy in love.
-It is only too possible. Love requires a mutual harmony which is difficult, and it is even more difficult to make it last.
-I agree; but God put us on earth to take that risk.
-A man may need to do that, and find it amusing; but a girl is bound by other laws.
-I believe you, and I see I must hasten to leave, for otherwise I shall become the unhappiest of men.
-How so?
-You want my heart?
-It is my only object.
-To make me wretched in two weeks.
-To love you until death. To subscribe to all your commands.
-The amusing thing is that you deceive me without knowing, if it is true that you love me.
-Deceiving someone without knowing it is something new for me. If I do not know it, I am innocent.
-Be so good as to tell me with whom you think you are?
-And if she does not choose to show you some kindness?
-Then I will respectfully take leave of her.
-You will do as you please. It seems to me that such a matter can hardly be discussed until after people know each other. Do you not agree?
-Yes -- but I am afraid of being deceived.
-Poor man. And, for that reason, you want to begin where people end?
-Will we always leave it at this?
-Always, my dear one, never any further. Love is a child to be pacified with trifles. A full diet can only kill it.
-I know better than you do. Love wants a more substantial fare, and if it is stubbornly withheld, it withers away.
-Our abstinence makes our love immortal. If I loved you a quarter of an hour ago, now I should love you even more. But I should love you less if you exhausted my joy by satisfying all my desires.
-Let us give each other complete happiness, and let us be sure that as many times as we satisfy our desires, they will each time be born anew.
-My husband has convinced me of the contrary.
-Shall I tell you something -- I believed what was called love came after the union -- and I was surprised when my husband, making me a woman, made me know it only by pain, unaccompanied by any pleasure. I saw that my imaginings had stood me in better stead. And so we became only friends, seldom sleeping together and arousing no curiosity in
-Without you, my dearest, I might have died without ever knowing love. Inexpressible love! God of nature! Bitterness than which nothing is sweeter, sweetness than which nothing is more bitter. Divine monster which can only be defined by paradoxes.
-Let me give a thousand kisses to that heavenly mouth which has told me that I am happy.
-As soon as I saw you loved me, I was pleased, and I gave you every opportunity to fall more in love with me, being certain that, for my part, I would never love you. But after our first kiss, I found that I had no power over myself. I did not know that one kiss could matter so much.
-My Lady Cosgrove's relationship with me was a singular one. Her life was passed in a series of crack-brained sort of alternation between love and hatred for me. We would quarrel for a fortnight, then we should be friends for a month together sometimes. One day, I was joking her, and asking her whether she would take the water again, whether she had found
-Lady Cosgrove, you are an old fool.
-I accept, but I insist on a wager. The loser must do whatever the winner pleases.
-Agreed.
-I feel the ribbon.
-Why are you shaking?
-I hate Miss Clancy, you know I do! And I only danced with her because -- because -- the person with whom I intended to dance chose to be engaged the whole night.
-I had not been in the room five minutes before I was engaged for every single set.
-Were you obliged to dance five times with Captain Best, and then stroll out with him into the garden?
-I don't care a fig for Captain Best; he dances prettily to be sure, and is a pleasant rattle of a man. He looks well in his regimentals, too; and if he chose to ask me to dance, how could I refuse him?
-But you refused me, Dorothy.
-Oh! I can dance with you any day, and to dance with your own cousin at a ball as if you could find no other partner. Besides, Roderick, Captain Best's a man, and you are only a boy, and you haven't a guinea in the world.
-If ever I meet him again, you shall see which is the best man of the two. I'll fight him with sword or with pistol, captain as he is.
-Suppose, now, Roderick, you, who are such a hero, was passing over the bridge and the enemy on the other side.
-I'd draw my sword, and cut my way through them.
-What, with me on the pillion? Would you kill poor me?
-Well, then, I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd jump Daisy into the river, and swim you both across, where no enemy could follow us.
-Monster! Your father was a tailor, and you are always thinking of the shop. But I'll have my revenge, I will! Roddy, will you see me insulted?
-I am at your service, Mr. Cosgrove. How much do you wish to spend?
-As much as possible.
-As much as possible?
-Yes, for I wish to entertain splendidly.
-All the same, you must name an amount.
-Last month, the Duke of Suffolk spent no more.
-And, to be sure, I did know someone who knew precisely how these things were done, and this was the distinguished solicitor and former Government Minister, Lord West, whose acquaintance I made, as I had so many others, at the gaming table.
-Do you happen to know Gustavus Adolphus, the thirteenth Earl of Crabs?
-By name only.
-Have you done, Mr. Cosgrove?
-Yes!
-Does this assignment interest you?
-Was he cheated?
-In so far as I can tell these things -- no. I believe the Chevalier won the money fairly.
-A meeting with the Prince of Turbingen is impossible.
-The King has determined to send the Chevalier out of the country.
-Then this must be done tomorrow.
-What has happened, madam, to annoy your ladyship?
-Be off to your work, you pack of rascals, or you will have a good taste of my thong. Have you lost much?
-That fool didn't know what was the meaning of a hundred-pound bill, which was in the pocket-book that the fellow took from me.
-I am riding to Dublin myself, and if your ladyship will allow me the honor of riding with you, I shall do my best to protect you from further mishap.
-But I shouldn't like to put you to such trouble, Mister...?
-As you have been robbed of your purse, may I have permission to lend your ladyship a couple of pieces to pay any expenses which you might incur before reaching your home?
-How different was her lively rattle to the vulgar wenches at Kilwangan assemblies. In every sentence, she mentioned a lord or a person of quality. To the lady's question about my birth and parentage, I replied that I was a young gentleman of large fortune, that I was going to Dublin for my studies, and that my mother allowed me five hundred per annum.
-I have good news for you, Mr. Cosgrove. The firm of Bracegirdle and Chatwick, in the city of London, are prepared to lend you 20,000 pounds, pledged against your interest in the Edric mines. They will redeem the encumbrances against the property, which amount to some 10,000 pounds, and take a twenty- year working lease on the mines. They will lend you the 20,000
-Mr. Newcombe, I have made some difficult loans during the past few years, at very onerous terms, but 18% a year interest seems very stiff indeed.
-Considering your financial circumstances, Mr. Cosgrove, it has been impossible to find anyone at all prepared to do any business with you. I think you may count yourself lucky to have this opportunity. But, obviously, if you would reject this offer, I shall keep trying to find a better one.
-I am prepared to accept the terms, Mr. Newcombe.
-There are a few other points we should discuss. The loan agreement can only be executed by her ladyship's signature, and provided that Bracegirdle and Chatwick can be assured of her ladyship's freewill in giving her signature.
-Provided that they can be assured of her ladyship's freewill? Are you serious?
-May I be quite frank with you?
-Yes, of course.
-Mister Bracegirdle said to me that he had heard her ladyship lives in some fear of her life, and meditated a separation, in which case, she might later repudiate any documents signed by herself while in durance, and subject them, at any rate, to a doubtful and expensive litigation. They were quite insistent on this point, and said they must have absolute assurance of
-I see.
-Did you buy the horse, papa?
-Now, just have a little patience, my boy. Your birthday isn't until next week.
-But I will have it on my birthday, won't I?
-Good night, papa.
-Good night, my little darling.
-Papa?
-Yes?
-One of the boys in the stable told Nelly that you've already bought my horse, and that it's at Doolan's farm, where Mick the groom is breaking it in. Is that true, papa?
-I promise your lordship a good flogging if you even so much as go to Doolan's farm to see him.
-Your bother is in America fighting the rebels.
-Is he all right, papa?
-Yes, he's fine.
-I made Sir William Cosgrove's acquaintance as usual at the play- table. One could not but admire the spirit and gallantry with which he pursued his favorite pastime; for, though worn out with gout and a myriad of diseases, a cripple wheeled about in a chair, and suffering pangs of agony, yet you would see him every morning, and every evening at his post
-Indeed, you are right, sir. Look at me. Marriage has added forty years to my life. I am dying, a worn-out cripple, at the age of fifty. When I took off Lady Cosgrove, there was no man of my years who looked so young as myself. Fool that I was! I had enough with my pensions, perfect freedom, the best society in Europe --
-Would you have me spend my life all alone?
-In truth, sir, yes, but, if you must marry, then marry a virtuous drudge.
-The milkmaid's daughter?
-Sir William Cosgrove, with his complication of ills, was dying before us by inches. He was continually tinkered up by doctors, and, what with my usual luck, he might be restored to health and live I don't know how many years. If Cosgrove would not die, where was the use of my pursing his lady? But my fears were to prove groundless, for on
-Good evening, Mr. James, have you done with my lady?
-I beg your pardon?
-Come, come, sir. I am a man who would rather be known as a cuckold than a fool.
-Gentlemen, see this amiable youth! He has been troubled by religious scruples, and has flown for refuge to my chaplin, Mr. Hunt, who has asked for advise from my wife, Lady Cosgrove, and between them both, they are confirming my ingenious young friend in his faith. Did you ever hear of such doctors and such a disciple?
-Faith, sir, if I want to learn good principles, it's surely better I should apply for them to your lady, and your chaplin than to you?
-Well, if my intentions are what you think they are -- if I do wish to step into your shoes, what then? I have no other intentions than you had yourself. Lady Cosgrove's wealth may be great, but am I not of a generous nature enough to use it worthily? Her rank is lofty, but not so lofty as my ambition. I will be
-Is it not a pleasure, gentlemen, for me, as I am drawing near the goal, to find my home such a happy one; my wife so fond of me, that she is even now thinking of appointing a successor? Isn't it a comfort to see her; like a prudent housewife, getting everything ready for her husband's departure?
-I hope that you are not thinking of leaving us soon, knight?
-Not so soon, my dear, as you may fancy perhaps. Why, man, I have been given over many times these four years, and there was always a candidate or two waiting to apply for the situation. Who knows how long I may keep you waiting.
-Sir, let those laugh that win.
-Charming Schuvaloff.
-Black-eyed Sczortarska.
-Dark Valdez.
-Do you expect me to believe that your lover brought you here tonight?
-Yes. He brought me in his carriage, and he will call for me at midnight.
-And he doesn't care about me?
-He is only curious to know who you are.
-If his love were like mine, he would not permit you to come here.
-He loves me, as I love you.
-Will he wish to know the details of this night?
-He will believe that it will please me if he asks about it, and I shall tell him everything except some circumstances which might humiliate him.
-Don't like 'em, don't eat 'em, don't make no damn difference to me.
-Can I at least have a drink?
-It's ten thirty in the morning.
-Yeah, if you've slept.
-You know the law -- no liquor before noon. Could lose my license.
-Hurricane kept you up, too?
-Bill Styles...
-Who?
-Don't you ever point a gun at me!
-A target, Kendall, cap a fucking target. What's wrong with you?
-I thought I was gonna have an attack. Go into a fit and bite off my own tongue in the middle of the bayou. Childs could tell I wasn't right.
-Fuck, what the fuck is going on --
-What do we do?
-I don't want to go --
-Did -- did you --
-What about Pike?
-He is the only one unaccounted for.
-You framed-him...
-This isn't our area. Whose area is this --
-Hey, I -- Holy fuck... holy fuck, what the fuck did you guys do?
-You killed him you fucking faggot --
-We got -- I don't know, we got separated
-Before or after the explosion? Mueller --
-Shut the fuck up, you fucking faggot, You just shut the FUCK UP.
-West was one thing, but this --
-We finished the course and came here, then heard an explosion -- Where's Pike?
-What about you, wandering around alone? At least we have an alibi --
-Holy fuck... Holy fuck, what the fuck did you guys do?
-Yeah, right...
-You too?
-Why not?
-I asked for a policeman.
-You're under military arrest, it's not gonna happen. What's wrong with baseball?
-It's... too slow.
-Well, it's a game of anticipation, that's the beauty.
-I just don't like it.
-I don't know... I like the Army.
-C'mon, Ray, everyone hates the Army during Basic. I'll tell you straight, I hated it here.
-You did Basic here?
-There's no need...
-Right. Now, I'm gonna go get you another donut and you think about whether you want to talk more, okay?
-Why'd you ask for a cop, Ray?
-I'm not telling you what happened.
-Some.
-And those were the guys who went on the exercise with you?
-You smoke, Ray?
-This is one of those interrogation tricks, isn't it? You don't give me a cigarette till I tell you more.
-Hey, Ray! Just had a nice talk with your buddy Kendall -- seems you killed three people!
-That son of a bitch.
-That'd be my reaction too --
-He's lying.
-Well, why didn't you say so? We'll just drop all your charges, then --
-Fuck "you're serious", Raymond, you got exactly zero truck with us; right now we'd take the word of a crackhead over yours, so if you've got something to say, say it.
-So Childs made some side money, so what? People are dead, Ray, and the only one we have to blame is you --
-I didn't shoot West --
-I apologize --
-You saw West's body.
-And he'd been shot.
-You shot Childs and Nunez.
-They would have killed us both. You want me to write a confession, I'll write a confession.
-You saved Kendall's life --
-Raymond, for you to have any chance of coming out of this, we need to locate the other bodies and examine them to corroborate your testimony. Otherwise this is just another story --
-We're not finished yet --
-We don't need the tapes --
-Oh, you don't? What else do you have on me? You haven't found any bodies yet, have you?
-Not true, Cadet, I've got a gun --
-He -- He made me do it --
-Do what?
-I guess Nunez wasn't dead after all. He came after us with a vengeance. You know the rest.
-And the bodies?
-I promised them I'd ask you where West and the others are...
-Washout rejects, guys he said were "dumbfucks too stupid to know they dead"...
-Are you saying Sergeant West tried to kill you?
-That first night with Pike. I made the mistake of letting him sit down at around 0300.
-Tell us about the other guys, the ones West weeded out.
-He was sickly. Had that shaking thing, whatd'yacall it, epoxy?
-Epilepsy.
-He said he worked there --
-No, did he tell you about it? About the business Childs ran?
-What business?
-Where?
-What about the phosphorous grenade?
-Back up.
-Mueller was alone in the cabin?
-Why didn't you tell us all this in the first place?
-Where's the cabin?
-You kept Kendall alive to corroborate your story and he did it all they way up to the end. You even gave him his own motive in case we decided to burn him, too.
-Is that what I did, now? And of course, you can prove all of it.
-We can prove that you're not Ray Dunbar. Impersonating a fellow Cadet is a court-martial in and of itself --
-Ohhhh, I don't think so...
-How do you know that?
-Cadet, what's your name!
-Sir, Dunbar, sir!
-You know how to work a pistol, Dunbar?
-Dunbar you are to stand here and guard this nigger for the next twenty- four hours! He is not to be given food, water, or clothes! If he so much as moves, you are to blow his nigger brains out, is that clear?
-Sir, yes, sir!
-What the fuck is going on?
-He wouldn't kill anybody...
-Oh, bullshit, he's a fucking convict. You know how much he hated West --
-Shut up. Let me see your grenades.
-Why?
-Jesus, what happened?
-Pike and I got separated... then I heard gunfire. Close.
-So you killed him?
-Whose blood is that, Jay?
-What do you mean, West's?
-Where have you been, Jay?
-Roberto, what the fuck?
-We just want to check your pack --
-You know it's not like that --
-Right?
-You gotta untie me. I didn't do this thing, Ray.
-You hated West more than any of us.
-Maybe, but that don't make me a killer --
-You're the only one missing a grenade.
-Ray, this is my life here. I ain't gonna pretend I'm not happy West is gone, but you know I couldn't have done this. It's not in me.
-If not you, then who?
-Mueller.
-Oh, come on --
-We're sweeping our area and suddenly he's gone. Couple minutes later, phosphorous grenade pops off about a third of a click away --
-That's exactly what he says about you.
-You hated West, Mueller loved him --
-Enough to go to prison? Childs' PX scam, Mueller was in on it --
-Bullshit.
-Look in my pack.
-Why?
-Combat grade morphine. Mueller sold it to me.
-You're lying --
-Why... why didn't you tell me?
-That still doesn't mean you didn't kill him.
-You saw West, right? How was he killed?
-Full clip to the body --
-From up close or far away?
-His chest was hamburger --
-Way I figure it, West must have found out about their little business and was gonna bust them, so they decided to get rid of him first...
-They?
-I... I don't know...
-What don't you know?
-There's no time to think, Ray, we gotta get out of here! You untie me, we grab the guns, get Kendall and Nunez, and make a run for it --
-No... no, we can just wait till we get back and then tell the M.P.'s --
-A test will no doubt link you to the killing --
-You... I've seen you around the Base. But you... You're not Army, are you?
-That's it. You're that policeman with friends in low places. Tell me, how's Guissepe Torres doing these days? Those racketeering indictments must have really been a downer --
-I've done nothing wrong. I'm the victim here.
-But not the only victim, right?
-My father is a powerful man. Over the years he's used that power to protect me, in one form or another, from certain... unpleasantries. I am a homosexual.
-Senator Daddy must be thrilled.
-He is not, shall we say, wild about the idea. He has asked me on numerous occasions to be more discreet about my proclivities, and I have done my best to oblige him. However, in the last four weeks, I began a relationship with another cadet. What do you think of that?
-I think you just blew "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" out of the fucking water.
-Levi, I don't know if you're familiar with investigative work, but we have this little thing called "motive" and you just gave yourself one.
-You said you wanted to know what happened -- I'm telling you the truth.
-What happened to "degrees"?
-I didn't kill him --
-Maybe I shouldn't tell you that. Maybe I should tell you I wasn't scared at all. But I was... Enough to almost kill him.
-But you didn't.
-He admitted it.
-Why did he come back for you?
-Okay. I think that's it. He rises and walks to the door.
-Somebody emptied a full clip into him --
-You tried to pin three stone murders on Dunbar --
-How many murders did you cover up? One? Five? Maybe an even ten.
-Epileptic attacks are murder on your system. Rattle your internal organs like a paint mixer.
-Is it the truth?
-Why did you tell us he shot everybody, Levi? You put him in for three murders, the man saved your life --
-So I should stay silent about his misdeeds? The guns went off, I ran in, Childs shot me, Pike and Mueller were dead, and Dunbar was running out the door with the smoking gun --
-Dunbar was running out the door? Ohhhhhh... See that's where I was confused, because I thought you said Nunez was running out the door.
-No. I said Dunbar.
-I believe your next line is "What are you trying to hide?"
-Well?
-Dunbar will testify that you were.
-Something funny, Levi?
-Jail if he's lucky, the gas chamber if he's not --
-Why?
-How do you know?
-Or you, Levi? When is it finally going to come out that you were the one who killed him?
-I didn't --
-You lied to us, Levi, you're going to the gas chamber unless you tell us where to find them!
-I don't know --
-Where are they!
-Maybe --
-MAYBE WHAT --
-How are you?
-Been better. I read about what's been happening with you... I should have called --
-That bad?
-Would I have called you if it wasn't? If there was any other way --
-This is Warrant Officer Julia Osborne, the closest thing we have to an in- house investigator.
-The official term for it is "Clusterfuck". By the time Beth hit us, I'd canceled all off base exercises save one -- a six man cadet team and their Drill out in the bush. We're missing three and the Sergeant. The cadets are in their eighth week of the cycle, nobody here knows much about them, up to and including their names. But the
-A few years ago, the Army picked our good buddy as their go to non-com to trot out to the press to talk about the kinder, gentler military. He even did the standard video greeting played to all incoming Basic cadets across the country.
-The exercise was one of his Section Eight "private sessions". Left around 2100 yesterday and were scheduled for pick up at 0630 this morning.
-And the problem is you only got three.
-No, the problem is one's dead, one's got a bullet in his arm, and one won't talk. The one who won't talk was trading live fire with the dead one as we reached the pick-up.
-I'm assuming that's what made him the dead one?
-Which gives us about five hours. Why'd you call me?
-The guy in interrogation said he'd only talk to a cop.
-Tom, bottom line: I let those kids go out there. If JAG shows up and I don't have any answers for them, my career is finished --
-He's not done by a longshot, I can get more out of him --
-Pike killed West, Dunbar killed Mueller, Childs, and Nunez.
-Who killed Pike?
-We've already been over the terrain twice. Nothing.
-There was a hurricane, Bill, the wind probably moved it.
-Habeas Corpus -- you have to have a body to have a crime.
-Okay, then let's widen the search to include the endzone in Giants Stadium and the trunk of my car --
-Without the body we have no physical proof. We need a confession.
-From Dunbar? I hate to break this to you, but I don't think he's gonna be all that psyched to put himself in for the death penalty.
-Nevertheless --
-Nevertheless what'? Kendall will testify and that'll be enough.
-You mean not enough to save you.
-Tom, where are you going --
-Home, I'm done.
-You want a confession? Why don't you confess, Bill: people are dead and you don't give a shit about it! Only reason you called me is to protect your fucking job, you know this is your fault --
-What the hell are you talking about --
-What I said before --
-Was dead right. You think Dunbar's on the level?
-Yeah.
-It's over. Time of death was 4:42. JAG's been notified and I called the Senator myself. My report will reflect that his medical condition made this unavoidable... you two had no culpability in the matter.
-That's horseshit and you know it.
-You think you could explain all this to me?
-They're taking your command, aren't they?
-I'm sorry, Bill.
-Don't be. I'm not cut out to deal with the West's of the world.
-You're a good soldier, Bill.
-It was so good, I actually forgot you're one of the bigger dogs now. The Base Commander. The one in control. You couldn't let him testify, could you?
-What are you talking about?
-If you let him testify then it would have all come out. West was supposed to take care of it out there, shut Nunez up and then disappear. But it got messy and people got killed. So you called your old pal Tom Hardy, figuring if worse came to worse, he'd cover for you.
-You're drunk --
-Stay where you are.
-Or what? You've gone round the bend --
-What I can't understand is why you signed these. If you'd just let West take care of the paperwork, no one would have known, but you got careless. So when Pike finally told the truth you had to get rid of him, too.
-That's preposterous --
-Toxicology report came back. Kendall's attack was caused by a drug known as anephadrine, maybe you've heard of it. It's for asthmatics. If an epileptic takes enough, it kills them. I checked with the nurses at the hospital -- you're the only other person who visited Kendall.
-I wanted to see if he was okay --
-You poisoned him, Bill. You heard our interrogation, you knew he was ready to crack, so you killed him, just like Pike.
-I'm not even going to dignify that --
-No! You will stand there and you will listen! What happened to you, Bill? You were the one who joined up to do good in the world. You were the one who believed in it --
-You want to get into a finger pointing contest about character? The army kicked you out for drugs, the cops fired you for taking bribes from a mobster, and you think you can stand there and lecture me on codes of conduct? There's only one criminal standing in this room and it's you.
-No more witnesses. West's a ghost. But it doesn't matter because we have your signature, the hospital log, and Kendall's toxicology report. And that'll be enough.
-You're crazy --
-You can't duck this, Bill. I may have done every goddamn thing in my life wrong but I won't let this happen.
-For the last time, I have no idea what you're talking about --
-Hostile and uncooperative.
-Ah, Christ
-You knew Sergeant West?
-I didn't mean that as a compliment.
-Sergeant West's served for twenty- three years. He's the public face of the modern Army.
-Gotta be honest, I love what you've done with the place --
-You and the Colonel go back.
-He got me through Basic and a lot of other stuff. I owe him.
-You're the Tom Hardy I've been reading about in the papers, right? New Orleans PD fired you for taking bribes from Guissepe Torres.
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-It was for suspicion of bribery, it's really all in the wording --
-Wording and your friendship with the Colonel aside, I'm not comfortable having you involved in this.
-Three things. First -- You don't have a choice. Second -- I've never taken a bribe in my life. And Third -- I'm still a little drunk from last night, so if I skip over the witty banter and move forward to straight hitting on you, try not to take offense. Tell me about the two guys.
-Hurricane knocked out our Mainframe, so all we have are their dogtags. Cadets Raymond Dunbar and Levi Kendall --
-Levi? Who names their kid Levi --
-Senator Jonathan Kendall, of Ohio.
-Christ... Remind me to thank Bill for mentioning that on the phone --
-Kendall Junior is still in surgery, so he won't be available to answer for his name or anything else for another hour -- the cadet we're talking to first is Dunbar.
-He's in interrogation?
-Yes.
-Move him.
-Why?
-Because interrogation rooms look suspiciously like interrogation rooms, which doesn't exactly put people at ease. Is he cute?
-Excuse me?
-Is Dunbar cute?
-That is the most unprofessional --
-Thank you. At some point in there I'm gonna rub my nose. When I do, go at him with everything you got.
-Good cop/bad cop?
-I questioned him for three hours and he didn't make a sound. You don't have a badge, he won't talk to you.
-The Colonel saw you shoot Nunez, you're a murderer --
-Baseball?
-I believe somebody owes me ten dollars --
-You made me look like an idiot --
-You really want to make banal chit- chat like that now?
-You're right. We should sit in silence.
-We're in the middle of a murder case --
-What is that?
-Typical army brat story. Dad was noncom, Mom was a Nurse. There was never any real doubt of joining up.
-You had a mobile of bayonets above your crib.
-Something like that. You?
-You're kidding.
-This is the straight hitting on me you were talking about, isn't it?
-The very same.
-You do understand that there's absolutely no way I could ever be attracted to you, right?
-I plan to grow on you.
-You're off to a late start.
-You guys really got the shit kicked out of you here.
-Imagine what it must have been like for them out there. What do you think of Dunbar?
-He's telling the truth, up to a point.
-Something wrong?
-Being back here. Gives me the willies.
-Remember, he's the son of a Senator, so go easy. Kid gloves.
-That was kid gloves?
-But we have to question him -- Thought you didn't have cigarettes --
-"Too neat." How long have you been an investigator?
-I don't think that has anything to do with --
-I just... He came back for Kendall. I don't think he's capable of murder.
-Look, all we've got is what Kendall says, and he didn't actually witness any deaths except Nunez. He found West, he saw Mueller and Pike, but just their bodies -- he didn't see any crime committed.
-Why the fuck wasn't he in restraints?
-Styles couldn't reassign him, he's a legend --
-Goddammit, Hardy, you can't just leave --
-Watch me.
-West was a monster! Fifteen years ago, I was here, I was Section Eight, I was Pike. Fuck being the knife dummy -- that thing he did, stripping Pike down, making him stand outside all night? He did that every year, he did that to me. Fifteen years ago, I wanted him dead, and now I'm supposed to care that somebody offed him? Sorry,
-You did more than try. You cracked Dunbar in less than three minutes, as an investigator you're phenomenal --
-I was starting to believe you, you know? That you weren't who everyone said. I guess I was wrong --
-Oh, spare me the reverse psychology bullshit! This isn't my "great second chance", Osborne. Everyone thinks I'm a piece of shit cop who took money and nothing is going to change that. Nobody will ever know what happens here --
-Why do you care?
-I didn't shoot West...
-What?
-At least you and Kendall agree on that.
-Talk it through: Childs, Mueller, and Nunez know they're going out on the regular Tuesday Night drill, hurricane or no hurricane, so they plan it: Kill West, pin it on Pike.
-And they're smart about it. They know when you commit a crime you know is going to be investigated, you need a fall guy and for that to work, you have to have a witness.
-Dunbar.
-Exactly, someone who's not involved, who's word can't be questioned. You only let them see what you want them to see, you make them believe, so when the time comes, they've totally bought into your version of events.
-They believe the innocent are guilty and the guilty are innocent.
-And if they're asked, that's what they'll tell the, world.
-So it's a good plan but it goes wrong; Mueller flips out and shoots their fall guy, which means they have to bring Dunbar and Kendall into the cover story --
-Kendall maybe would have agreed, but the hurricane buttfucks the cabin --
-Buttfucks the cabin?
-And all hell breaks loose. A lot of Good guys shoot a lot of bad guys and whiz, bang, zoom, happy ending.
-So why, after Dunbar drags Kendall out from under a house, does the Senator's son try and get us to put his savior in the gas chamber?
-That bugs you too?
-Little bit.
-We're fucked, I know --
-They got their stories straight.
-What?
-What Kendall said -- "the type of guys you don't feel comfortable going to sleep around." That's what Dunbar said about Childs to the letter.
-Are you sure?
-Why don't you talk to Levi off the record for a second?
-That's a fantastic idea --
-I pushed him too hard.
-You couldn't have known --
-Yeah, I could've. Should've.
-You wanted to get the truth.
-No, I didn't. I wanted to humiliate him. For what he did to Dunbar. For fucking over the little guy.
-You wanted to break him.
-Yeah.
-So what now?
-Now I go home, get drunk, and try and forget this ever happened.
-Think it'll work?
-You know, you never told me why you left the army.
-It dawned on me one day that we were supposed to be a nation founded on the principle of questioning authority... and all I did here was follow orders. It didn't add up. Plus, I got kicked out.
-For what?
-We were close to something with Kendall.
-Maybe... Maybe we were nowhere near. Sometimes mysteries stay mysteries. I haven't by any chance grown on you, have I?
-No.
-Four --
-We got maybe three minutes till they break it down.
-Hardy, what are you doing --
-We can tie you to the chair if it'll work better for you --
-Hardy, for Chrissakes --
-No bodies, no West...
-We need to talk --
-What?
-This isn't the time --
-This is the perfect time. You know what makes a good detective? The number of confessions they get. You're a good detective, Osborne. So now you get mine.
-What if I don't want it?
-That's not true.
-There are degrees of truth, officer. Always degrees.
-You're a good man, Hardy.
-Really.
-West?
-Do I have a choice in this?
-What are you doing out here?
-Leaving without saying goodbye. What are you gonna do?
-Go home, get drunk, and try and forget this ever happened.
-Think it'll work?
-Nah.
-A word of advice about women -- that first hour or so after they kill their boss? Probably not the best time to hit on them.
-I should probably write that down.
-Your phone number?
-He was your friend.
-The thing is, we've got a real opportunity here. You turn me in tomorrow and we're both fucked --
-What are you talking about?
-How?
-Mueller. He's as bad as West and we both know it. Now I can't do it, cause I'm tied up, but we get the others to go along --
-I don't think I want to hear this --
-Pike, please --
-Maybe we shouldn't go.
-The faggot speaks.
-You ever been in a hurricane, Mueller?
-We should tell him we're not going.
-They found him. Poor fucker was practically blown in half --
-Poor fucker my ass...
-Pike and I got separated --
-Yeah and he doesn't know when --
-I remember now, it was before the explosion --
-Oh, you remember now --
-I was freezing from the hurricane --
-So you took off your shirt?
-We just want --
-He couldn't kick you out so he wanted you to quit on your own.
-He said what?
-"You're gonna die tonight, faggot". Clear as day.
-No one else heard it?
-Nunez was chasing Dunbar.
-Because he'd shot Mueller.
-But you didn't see it, right?
-Pike never confessed.
-Running out of time, are we? Tick- tock, tick-tock, how long till your witnesses fly the coop?
-Fifty minutes.
-Pike never confessed.
-Dunbar says you were.
-You and Dunbar got your stories straight. Little details, little inconsistencies, designed to bounce us back from one of you to the other, asking questions, killing time, until the transport arrives and whisks you away to where Senator Daddy can protect you. You think you're just going to slide out of this? You're an accessory to murder, Levi, you're going to jail --
-It doesn't matter, Levi. We're going to find those bodies and when we do, I'm going to make sure one of them has a bullet in them that matches your weapon --
-It won't work --
-Enjoy your flight to Washington --
-Wait --
-Dunbar's telling the truth.
-Wrong answer --
-Who, Levi --
-I told him what had really happened to West. Told him to keep quiet about it or I'd destroy him. Because if it came out that I was involved with the whole PX scam, my father would be finished.
-I scared Dunbar into silence. He's been trying to cover for me the whole time. We got here, you came to see me... I didn't know if I could trust him with that kind of secret --
-What happened with Nunez?
-Hurricane's due after midnight and we're still going out?
-What the fuck happened to you --
-Whoever shot the Sarge blew a grenade first --
-Thank God...
-This place is going, Mueller. We gotta move --
-We all know what you did, Pike. I don't know what kind of nigger voodoo you been working in here, but --
-Where's your shirt, Mueller?
-I used it to start the fire --
-Goddammit, Ray, we gotta get out of here --
-Cadet Michael Mueller, I hereby place you under military arrest for the murder of Sergeant Nathan West --
-The fuck are you talking about --
-You are to be stripped of all weapons and placed under guard --
-Bullshit --
-Until we return to base, and ballistics can match your weapon to the slugs in Sergeant West's body --
-Tell him to shut up --
-Sign here and here. Hey, ain't you the folks workin' on that whole hulabaloo from last night?
-Yeah.
-Funny. I swear I saw them bring him and the smaller guy in this morning.
-No, no that was Cadet Dunbar --
-So?
-This is totally unnecessary --
-He asked to see a policeman, we're getting him a policeman.
-But this guy you called, he's not even Army --
-He's former Army and the best I've ever seen in a room. Besides, he knows the territory, we did Basic together here. You've had three hours with Dunbar and haven't gotten a peep, we need to take a different tack.
-He's not Army, it's not official --
-Search parties for the others are fanning out in a ten click radius from the pickup. If they're hurt and we can get to them in time...
-You think he did it?
-What do you think?
-You want Kendall, don't you?
-You both know if you do this, if you go after a Senator's son and you're wrong... it's not just me in the hot seat anymore.
-We know.
-What happens to Dunbar now?
-You never told me why you got kicked out of...
-You motherfuckers have just made the worst mistake of your lives! You have chosen to join my Army! This Army is my mother, my father, and my little virgin sister and I will not allow anyone or anything that is not up to my standards near her pretty little virgin cooze, do you understand me -- give me a sir, yes, sir!
-Sir, yes, sir!
-Those who I deem unworthy to pass through this camp will quit, and those who refuse to quit I will kill. You ever hear of a training accident -- give me a sir, yes, sir!
-Sir, yes, sir!
-In my time I have killed sixteen men for the good of my country, sixteen men whose entrance into this Army I could not condone, as it would weaken the fabric of this nation's defense! This base suffers an average of three training accidents a year, unfortunate incidents that I will not hesitate to repeat if you cross me, understand -- give me a
-Sir, yes, sir!
-Some of you may have heard there's a hurricane coming! American soldiers do not wait for good weather -- they do not wait for a bright sunshiney day to do their duty! An American Soldier learns to operate in the worst conditions and turn said conditions into an advantage against their enemy! Anyone who thinks these conditions are too harsh, feel free to lay
-Sir, yes, sir!
-Great, great. That's fantastic.
-Hey kid! Your friend just made himself a star.
-See! The big guy likes it.
-I just saw the woman I'm going to marry, I know it. But then I lost her.
-Tough break. Most men have to get married before they lose their wives.
-I'm going to spend the rest of my life looking for her. That or die alone.
-Jesus, kid. Let me guess. Real pretty, blonde hair, blue hat?
-Yes!
-I know her uncle. Friends of the family.
-Who is she? Where does she live?
-What do you mean? You don't even know me.
-Sure I do. You were hot shit back in Hickville, but here in the real world, you got squat. You don't have a plan. You don't have a job. You don't have anything but the clothes on your back.
-Someone stole my backpack.
-I don't have a job, but I would have a job if you gave me one. And I may not have much, but I have more determination than any man you're ever going to meet.
-Sorry, kid. I don't do charity.
-Didn't kill anything, did I?
-A few rabbits, but I think one of them was already dead.
-I was wrong about you kid. You may not have much, but what you got, you got a lot of. You could get any girl.
-Her name is Sandra Templeton. She's going to Auburn. The semester's almost over, so you better hurry.
-Thank you.
-Welcome to ya. What's your name?
-Bloom like a flower?
-Yes.
-You were expecting me?
-What is this place?
-The town of Spectre. Best kept secret in Alabama. Says here you're from Ashton, right? Last person we had from Ashton was Norther Winslow.
-The poet? What ever happened to him?
-He's still here. Let me buy you a drink. I'll tell you all about it. Hell, I'll have him tell you.
-Now tell me if that isn't the best pie you ever ate.
-I have to leave. Tonight.
-Why?
-This town is everything a man could ask for. And if I were to end up here, I'd consider myself lucky. But the fact is, I'm not ready to end up anywhere.
-You won't find a better place!
-Or are you too scared?
-I'll go in right now and get that eye.
-Then do it.
-Fine, I will.
-Fine, you do it.
-You get the eye?
-I brought it.
-Bloom!
-Don.
-What the hell are you doing? This is my girl. Mine!
-Will.
-Dr. Bennett. It's good to see you. My wife, Josephine.
-Can I see him?
-Glad to see you're not trying to have a heartfelt talk. It's one of my greatest annoyances, when people talk to those who can't hear them.
-How long have you known my father?
-Thirty years. Maybe more.
-How would you describe him?
-Did your father ever tell you about the day you were born?
-A thousand times. He caught an uncatchable fish.
-Not that one. The real story. Did he ever tell you that?
-No.
-Did you see that woman?
-What did she look like?
-Well, she... uh...
-Yeah.
-How old are you?
-Eighteen.
-I'm eight. That means when I'm eighteen, you'll be 28. And when I'm 28, you'll only be 38.
-You're pretty good at arithmetic.
-How are you gonna make it without your shoes?
-Promise me you'll come back.
-You must be Edward Bloom.
-No one would come out here unless they had business. And no one would have business with me except for you. You're buying the town.
-Apparently I've overlooked this one piece of it, and I'd like to remedy that. You see, in order for the town to be preserved, the trust must own it in its entirety.
-So I've heard.
-In so many words, yes.
-Then I don't think so Mr. Bloom. If nothing is going to change, I'd just as soon it not change in the way it hasn't been changing all this time.
-Helping people makes me happy.
-I'm not convinced you should be happy.
-You're Beamen's daughter. Your last name is different. You married.
-I won't be selling you this house, Mr. Bloom.
-It's okay, just leave it.
-Lord, I'm sorry I...
-Please. Go. Just go.
-I'll...
-Don't. Don't be embarrassed. I should never have let you think that... I am in love with my wife.
-I know.
-And from the moment I saw her until the moment I die, she's the only one.
-Lucky girl.
-Really.
-Hi. How are you feeling?
-I was dreaming.
-Means when you dream about something that's going to happen. Like one night, I had a dream where this crow came and told me, "Your Aunt is going to die." I was so scared I woke up my parents. They told me it was just a dream, to go back to bed. But the next morning, my Aunt Stacy was dead.
-That's terrible.
-Because see, my mother was banging the milkman.
-No, I understand.
-He was buttering her rolls. Pumping her churn. Splashing milk in her box.
-Stop.
-Spooning the sherbet.
-Can I take your picture?
-You don't need a picture. Just look up handsome in the dictionary.
-That's because we didn't have a wedding. Your mother-in-law was never supposed to marry me. She was engaged to somebody else.
-I never knew.
-Will never told you that? Probably just as well. He would have told it all wrong anyway. All the facts and none of the flavor.
-Oh, so this is a tall tale?
-I thought you said you didn't have a church wedding.
-Is it the medicine that's making you thirsty?
-There was one time when I was eleven...
-You were talking about your wedding.
-I didn't forget. I was just working on a tangent. See, most men, they'll tell a story straight through, and it won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting either.
-I like your stories.
-Hardly two stories in the whole place. Now I've heard in real cities, they've got buildings so tall you can't even see the tops of 'em.
-Really?
-Wouldn't lie to you. And they've got all-you-can-eat buffets. You can eat a lot, can't you?
-I can.
-You're just trying to get me to leave, aren't you? That's why they sent you here.
-What's your name, Giant?
-Karl.
-Mine's Edward. And truthfully, I do want you to leave, Karl. But I want to leave with you. You think this town is too small for you, well, it's too small for a man of my ambition. I can't see staying here a day longer.
-You don't like it?
-Okay.
-What did she say?
-You know anyone's who's taken it?
-You're not trying to run away?
-You can see my predicament. My wedding ring, the symbol of fidelity to my wife, soon to be the mother of my child, was now lost in the gut of an uncatchable fish.
-What, a father's not allowed to talk about his son?
-I am a footnote in that story. I am the context for your great adventure. Which never happened! Incidentally! You were selling novelty products in Wichita the day I was born.
-Jesus Christ.
-Friend of yours? Did you help him out of a bind?
-Come on, Will. Everyone likes that story.
-The one about the witch.
-Your mom says I can't tell you that one anymore. You get nightmares.
-You -- -- are in for a surprise.
-Am I?
-Having a kid changes everything. I mean, there's the diapers and the burping and the midnight feedings...
-Did you do any of that?
-No, but I hear it's terrible. Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill its head with nonsense and still it turns out perfectly fine.
-You think I'm up for it?
-People needn't worry so much. It's not my time yet. This isn't how I go.
-Really.
-Truly. I saw it in The Eye.
-The Old Lady by the swamp.
-She was a witch.
-No, she was old and probably senile. Maybe schizophrenic.
-I saw my death in that eye. And this is not how it happens.
-So how does it happen?
-There was this panhandler who used to stop me every morning when I came out of this coffee shop near the office.
-Okay.
-And every day I gave him a quarter. Every day. Then I got sick and was out for a couple of weeks. And when I went back there, you know what he said?
-What did he say?
-You owe me three-fifty.
-Really.
-When did you ever work in an office?
-There's a lot you don't know about me.
-Dad, I'm hoping we can talk about some things while I'm here.
-You mean, while I'm here.
-Your mother hasn't been keeping up the pool. If you wanted to you could...
-I will.
-You know where the chemicals are?
-I thought you weren't dying.
-Why not religion, Dad?
-Josephine actually went to the Congo last year.
-Did I ever tell you about how...
-The maple tree and the Buick. We heard it.
-But the real story is how I got the car. You see...
-Dad?
-Son?
-Do you know much about icebergs, Dad?
-Do I? I saw an iceberg once. They were hauling it down to Texas for drinking water, only they didn't count on an elephant being frozen inside. The woolly kind. A mammoth.
-Dad!
-What?
-I'm trying to make a metaphor here.
-Then you shouldn't have started with a question. Because people want to answer questions. You should have started with, "The thing about icebergs is..."
-The thing about icebergs is you only see 10 percent of them. The other 90 percent is below the water where you can't see it. And that's what it is with you Dad. I'm only seeing this little bit that sticks above the water.
-What, you're seeing down to my nose? My chin?
-I have no idea who you are because you have never told me a single fact.
-I've told you a thousand facts. That's all I do, Will. I tell stories.
-You tell lies, Dad. You tell amusing lies. Stories are what you tell a five-year old at bedtime. They're not elaborate mythologies you maintain when your son is ten and fifteen and twenty and thirty. And the thing is, I believed you. I believed your stories so much longer than I should have. And then when I realized that everything you said was impossible
-You think I'm fake.
-Dad, I'm about to have a kid of my own here. It would kill me if he went through his whole life never understanding me.
-What do you want, Will? Who do you want me to be?
-Yourself. Good, bad, everything. Just show me who you are for once.
-The river.
-Tell me how it happens.
-How what happens?
-I can try, Dad. If you help. Just tell me how it starts.
-Like this.
-Let's get out of here.
-Where are we headed?
-You say...
-It's unbelievable.
-You become what you always were. A very big fish. And that's the way it happens.
-I'm sorry.
-Oh.
-Daffodils?
-They're your favorite flower.
-How did you get so many?
-You don't even know me.
-How can I convince you to stop?
-I was drying out.
-Wait! I need those!
-I've been working on this poem for 12 years.
-Really.
-This is why you don't show work in progress.
-Norther, do you ever regret not making it to Paris?
-I can't imagine any place better than here.
-It's me. Norther Winslow.
-I don't believe it!
-I want you to know, when you left Spectre it opened my eyes. There was a whole life out there that I was not living. So I travelled. I saw France, and Africa, half of South America. Every day a new adventure, that's my motto.
-So what are you up to now?
-This is it? The whole vault.
-'Fraid so.
-Oh. Oh.
-Hello.
-Are you Jenny Hill?
-How did you know my father?
-Were you and my father having an affair?
-Wow. Wow, you just said it. I was expecting to dance around this for another half hour.
-Can I ask you a question? Why did you come here today? If you found this deed, why didn't you just ask Eddie?
-Look, I don't know how much you want to know about any of this. You have one image of your father and it would be wrong for me to go and change it. Especially this late in the game.
-Logically, you couldn't be the Witch, because she was old back when he was young.
-No, it's logical if you think like your father. See, to him, there's only two women: your mother and everyone else.
-You didn't become crazy.
-Thank you. I'll bet you need to --
-Yes.
-I spent a week in Morocco for the story. It was incredible.
-I'm going to get started on dishes.
-I'm going to check on him.
-I'm sorry. It seems every hour I have to...
-Do you like it, being pregnant?
-I do.
-It's bad.
-It's more than they thought. They're going to stop chemo.
-You need to go.
-I'm going with you.
-You don't have to.
-I talked with your father last night.
-You never told me how your parents met.
-They met at Auburn.
-What about the details? How they fell in love. The Circus. The War. You never told me any of that.
-That's because most of it never happened.
-Mmm.
-Mmm, what?
-Do you love your father?
-Everyone loves my father. He's a very likeable guy.
-You have to understand. When I was growing up, he was gone more than he was here. And I started thinking -- maybe he has a second life somewhere else. With another house, another family. He leaves us, he goes to them. Or maybe there is no family. Maybe he never wanted a family. But whatever it is, maybe he likes that second life
-But it's not true.
-Look, I know why you like him. I know why everyone likes him. But I need you to tell me I'm not crazy.
-You're not.
-I need you on my side.
-What happened?
-Your father had a stroke. He's upstairs with your mom and Dr. Bennett.
-How did you get here?
-We swam. The Atlantic, it's not that big really.
-Ruth McHibbon offered to pick you up at the airport.
-We rented a car.
-Is that Dr. Bennett's car?
-How is he?
-He's impossible. He won't eat. And because he won't eat, he gets weaker. And because he's weaker, he doesn't want to eat.
-How much time does he have left?
-I don't know if you've seen it, but Josephine has some photos in the most recent Newsweek.
-Mom, would you say you understand Dad?
-Of course.
-What I mean is, do you really know what's going on in his head?
-Yes.
-How is that possible? I mean, you try to ask him a question and suddenly it's another one of his stories. You can't honestly say you know him.
-Would you say you understand Josephine?
-Yes. But that's a different...
-Josephine and I have a lot in common.
-Yes, you both think William Bloom is a very smart man. The problem is, you only see me as your mother, and not as someone's wife. And I've been his wife longer than I've been your mother. You can't discount that.
-I know it's not easy. Just remember, he didn't choose to be your father and you didn't choose to be his son. You just ended up together. You could pick numbers out of a dark bag and it'd be just the same. If you ask me, it's a wonder parents and children can stand each other at all.
-But I understand you, Mom. I always have.
-Before I forget, your father has papers in the basement I'd like you to go through. I wouldn't know what's important.
-Was she one of your teachers?
-No. But it's weird. She seemed to recognize me.
-That really happened?
-Is he awake?
-Mom?
-Did you and Dad have any other property?
-I suppose your grandmother's house when she passed on. But we sold that right away. Your cousin Shirley bought it.
-So you never bought any land.
-I don't suppose one of us could stay with him. In case he... In case he wakes up, one of us should be there.
-I'll stay. Why don't you go home with Josephine and I'll stay tonight.
-Mom, do you want some time with Dad?
-You first.
-Put it in the cases. Split it up. And don't forget you owe me £150.
-What for?
-You know what for.
-No I don't.
-I got you those trousers from Paul Smith.
-I've been buying you stuff all week. I've been buying him stuff all week.
-When we went to the Hard Rock Cafe. Who paid? When we went to see 'Cats'. Who paid?
-Those aren't presents. That's normal friendship stuff
-Yeah it was okay.
-Yeah. It was quite good actually. Some bits I really liked.
-The sets were good.
-Sixty four thousand, eight hundred.
-It's enough isn't it?
-What do you mean?
-You know what I mean babe, It's enough. We can stop.
-Do you want to stop?
-Yes.
-What's this?
-It's nothing. I burnt myself.
-That's not a burn.
-Do you like it?
-Say thank you.
-What?
-A baby? What are we supposed to do with a baby?
-What? What are you doing?
-What. You're what? You're with this creep now.
-Leave him!
-You have. You've actually fallen for this prick.
-This is sensitive. Your car. Lovely car. Doesn't necessarily give the right impression.
-Ch...
-To customers approaching the bank from the rear
-Right.
-You can see why it's sensitive?
-Hello.
-I thought you could give us the tour this morning. Sort of be our Indian Guide.
-How's that? We can't drink our piss can we?
-Hang on hang on, sorry, but like, who are you?
-You must find some glasses, small, for the toast, and some plates.
-Sorry. You've lost me...
-I'm asking what you're here for.
-What did he say?
-I need to know who you are first please.
-Oh. We are Russian.
-Yes. I know.
-Good.
-And...
-Hold on.
-So hang on. You're both Nadia's cousins?
-Of course not. Alexei, he's is my problem.
-Right.
-We better watch him. He's crazy.
-Right.
-No.
-So?
-What was that?
-I asked her if you were happy to see us. I find it hard to tell with you.
-So how long will you be in England?
-Plans are for the architects, politicians and so forth.
-You must have a visa or something...
-You're asking for my documents?
-She says 'Hello' to you. Go for it John!
-Uh. Do you like England?
-She says she has a secret to tell.
-When?
-"I saw you waiting there, by the gate."
-I...
-Binoculars.
-What was that?
-Oh nothing.
-Tell me.
-No. It is too judgmental.
-Tell me what he said.
-You are not ashamed of it? It's no surprise to want to love.
-No. It's not that.
-Do you believe in love?
-I suppose it's... I mean define your terms.
-How is bank?
-Fine. I thought you were leaving today.
-I understand. I'm so sorry
-You can stay tonight.
-I have brought you trouble. Maybe I should have come alone.
-Put the fucking kettle down.
-John.
-He says you scare him so much he must go to the toilet in his trousers. John, he is a soldier. A trained killer. We must do what he says.
-What did he say? Tell me!
-He says you are very sad ridiculous man. I don't agree of course. And that you must pay someone to have sex like a prostitute. Nadia is a prostitute. I'm sorry.
-What does he want. The Russian shithead. What do you want ?
-He wants money.
-He wants a lot of money.
-I'll give him money. Tell him to put the...
-He wants the money from your bank.
-I'll fuckin' give it to him! We'll go down there.
-You don't understand. He wants all the money that is in your bank.
-Oh Jesus.
-He is sure you can do this. Of course you can not.
-Just leave her alone.
-I'm so sorry.
-Is that everything?
-Yes.
-It's about forty miles from here. I don't know if you've looked at a map, it's close to London but it's a city in itself. A Roman city. It's a nice house. I'm having a problem with ants. I uh... It's the warmer weather. I can't seem to find the nest. Sorry, do you understand "ants"?
-Yes.
-I just can't find a nest. The root of the problem. I've looked everywhere. What's the Russian for ant? Sorry that's a stupid... Sorry. This is strange isn't it.
-Yes.
-I'm pretty nervous. Are you?
-Yes.
-So. Is it different to how you imagined it?
-Yes.
-I bet. What about me? Am I how you imagined?
-And how was the flight. Sorry, am I speaking too fast for you?
-Do uh... Sorry. Can you follow me? Do you understand what I'm saying?
-Yes.
-Good. Or should I speak slower?
-Yes.
-Do you follow or should I speak slower?
-Uh... Are you a giraffe?
-Today is bath day.
-I don't understand.
-Syevodnya?
-Syevodnya
-"Frenzy".
-They go. John. They go.
-What's wrong?
-They go.
-Of course. They go. Yes. Yes.
-Oh, I don't know. In my job as Deputy Assistant of New Business at the bank would have to listen to the problems of a great many individuals. This took a lot of understanding and sympathy, to try to work out solutions to their problems. But, you see, I'm not in that line of work anymore. Nowadays I'm a bank robber.
-You don't understand anything.
-Unless. Unless this is part of the routine. You get tied up, stick around, distract me, they both bust in and Steal My Cup Of Coffee.
-It's makes it easier. Okay.
-I don't want to know.
-It makes it faster. If I don't speak to the men, they fall faster. It's pretty obvious why.
-So what are you going to do?
-I'm going to drink my coffee. Then, we're going to the police station. Where there will be lawyers, loss of job, house, humiliation, gutter press, and probably prison.
-They don't blame you. When a bank employee does this they understand. You get your life back. Anyway I bet you hated that bank.
-Even so I always felt the decision to burst in and rob it very much remained with me.
-Why else would you send off for me? If you just wanted sex just go to a prostitute.
-You must think... I'm the biggest pillock... In the world.
-No I don't.
-In the world.
-I know you just want to punish me --
-I do. I want to very badly.
-So you're just going to be vindictive
-In every sense. If at all possible.
-You can't hurt me more than I'm hurt already.
-Where's the restroom?
-What?
-I'm going to be sick. Where's the...
-What? No you're not..
-I'm going... I am... I'm going to be sick.
-You don't have to do this. I can look after myself.
-Have you got your passport?
-What?
-Shut up. Have you got your passport?
-Give me some money.
-What?
-So, uh, Alexei, which I know isn't his name...
-I don't want to talk about him.
-Fine.
-It's none of your business.
-So uh...
-Look, if you want to know is he better in bed than you then yes he is.
-Oh Jesus.
-If what you want to know is does he have a bigger cock than you, then yes he does.
-Of course. Of course. Of course he does. Of course. Thank you. Thanks.
-Not the kids type then is he? Not that broody. You must be pretty miffed.
-He will come back.
-Excuse me?
-He left me my passport and ticket. It's pretty clear he wants to see me again.
-Yeah. I tend to tie up and abandon women I really want to see again too.
-I don't want to talk about it.
-Why not?
-Shut up. I'm not listening.
-You don't want to talk about it.
-No.
-We'll pretend it never happened.
-So. What's it like having to fuck men you hate?
-I don't hate you.
-Okay. Let's... Okay. Okay. You have had sex with people you don't like haven't you? For money. To make money.
-And? What are you saying?
-And. It's wrong.
-And who says what is wrong.
-And that would be Morals. That would be one's own moral sense of decency.
-What's a moral orgasm John? Tell me how it feels exactly.
-So. What then? You just detach sex from everything..
-Whereas "Wet 'n' Wild" is an emotional journey. "Tied and Tethered". It's pretty moving huh? Like Anna Karenina.
-So what? Do you just switch off in your head or do you imagine you're with him, or what?
-Sometimes.
-Sometimes which?
-Sometimes neither.
-Some... What does that mean?
-There's nothing wrong in liking sex, John.
-I don't like sex. I don't think I'll be having sex ever again.
-Why?
-Well, it's just that the thought trying to charm up an erection in front of a woman, or alone for that matter, makes me want to die.
-So now you hate all women?
-I think it's my safest bet, don't you?
-What?
-You...
-I got what I paid for.
-It wasn't what I wanted.
-So what did you want? I think we understand each other, no?
-You don't understand me.
-Excuse me?
-Get out
-You are throwing me out.
-You know, in Russia, there's no work for women. It's a different world.
-You don't have to say anything
-What? I... I wasn't saying...
-Please, there's no... Oh.
-I wasn't saying anything.
-Fifteen. You don't know him. He was very kind and strong.
-Yeah. He's a smashing bloke.
-The rest of the world, John, it's not all like St. Albans.
-Thank Christ for that.
-You are pretty naive if you think it is.
-I'm pretty naive? Look at you. You have to do all this, and what have you got to show for it? Nothing.
-I don't have nothing.
-Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
-No.
-Have you had any before?
-No.
-Are you scared?
-What happened between you and the blonde?
-What?
-The thin... the girl with small eyes. The one in your cupboard.
-It's none of your business. She didn't have small eyes.
-Did she leave you? Come on. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Who did she leave you for? Your best friend? Her boss? A woman? Did she leave you for a woman, John?
-I'm sorry.
-What?
-I don't know why I said it. I'm sorry.
-She's alive!! She is not dead?
-You should stop smoking. You're pregnant. You smoke like a fucking lab dog.
-I'm trying to quit.
-I've got news for you. It's not working.
-I smoke more these days. I smoke more when I'm unhappy.
-Nobody's that unhappy.
-Maybe I want to die. Don't you want me to die?
-I don't want anyone to die.
-Except for Small Eyes.
-I don't know.
-What was her name?
-You know you can come under the blanket.
-I've got an hour. Can I buy you a coffee?
-No. I think I better just go.
-Okay. Thank you.
-Yeah. No thanks.
-Please. Why not?
-Okay. Goodbye.
-Something else.
-You can probably buy them on the flight.
-I'm quitting. This will be my last one. So. Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
-You didn't deserve me John Buckingham.
-Whatever.
-I'm sorry.
-It's not mine.
-It's not mine either.
-Why?
-I'm not asking you to marry me.
-No. What? No. I know.
-It's more like a date.
-It's a long way to go for a date.
-What does it mean?
-Hurry. I'll wait for you here.
-My name's Sophia.
-Is the flight full?
-I'm sorry Sir. I believe the flight is closed.
-You have excellent English.
-Thanks.
-How do you want to pay?
-What are you doing?
-Just wanted to see.
-You know the rules. You do know the rules, don't you?
-Yeah, I know.
-Then start taking them seriously.
-Lazarus?
-Oh! Gave me a start.
-I'm sorry. It's these soft shoes I wear for my back.
-You hurt it?
-I'm standing most of my day. They're for support. Didn't see you in church this mornin'.
-Been on the crop. May need to get some extra hands if I don't want to work on Sundays.
-Angela?
-Yes?
-I need to uh...
-Go on, Laz. You can talk to me.
-My little niece... she got this deep cough.
-You take her to a doctor?
-Is your niece older than 12?
-My sister got a bad cough with her pneumonia. I just copied her prescription. You don't need to pay anything... just take it. But if she gets worse, you give me a call. I wrote my number on the box.
-This gonna get you in trouble?
-Thank you. Oh. My wife. She had a card here for her migraine pills. She ain't gonna be around no more... So if you...
-I already tossed that out. Somethin' you should'a done to that woman long ago... how she treated you. Of course, that's none of my business.
-I brung you a little basket of goodies. Fresh squash, tomatoes, some okra, butter beans.
-You didn't have to do this.
-Just wanted to say how much I appreciate you helping me the other day. My niece, she's cured up, and I got you to thank.
-This was very sweet of you.
-I bet you have loyal customers.
-You liked what I brung ya?
-Been eatin' like a princess all week. Even got enough for us to take a picnic under the gazebo.
-That'd be nice.
-I's thinkin' about singing in the choir.
-At church?
-Mm-hm. I don't know if I got a good voice or not but... practice is only on Mondays and Wednesdays, so...
-You gonna sing me somethin'?
-When? Now? Oh. No.
-Hey.
-Hey. You wasn't at'cha work but that nosey gal up at the counter give me your home address. Hope you don't mind me comin' over.
-What do you need?
-More cough syrup?
-I lied to you. It was wrong. But at the time... I didn't know what to do. Imagine you got an earful from folks about that gal I's carryin'...
-Laz... you don't need to explain yourself to me...
-Laz. I'm gonna put my trust in you. I'm gonna do it knowin' all too well I can get hurt like this. And I have been hurt. Just like you. Woman like me, I got a lot of livin' to do. But my days are precious to me. They all I got left. Don't want no more fuss. I want love in my life.
-He black alright, he just ain't blue.
-Why you stop havin' dancin' on Saturday? Used to have bands... all kind's live shit. Like a wake up in here, now.
-Folks can dance when they want. Didn't buy that mirror ball for nothin'.
-Naw. They got some blue dye, though. You think them boots you got on come from a black cow?
-Wanna get on somebody 'bout live music, get on ol' Laz, there. He the one got this place shakin' back in the day.
-Hi.
-Hey.
-You ain't the kicker, are you?
-No, ma'am.
-Cuz let me tell you, you boys gotta run the ball more. You get into a kicking game, ya'll gonna lose.
-Can I put it in your mouth?
-And, sir... do you have a size in mind for what you're lookin' for?
-That young lady's size, right'cher.
-Mind I ask, what's all this business here?
-These are whipped body creams. It's like a lotion.
-For your hands?
-Some women prefer not to scent their bodies with perfume. So now they have scented creams. They help moisturize a woman's skin. This one's my favorite. It's called Ginger Souffle. I recommend... applying the cream while the skin is still damp. So... perhaps just after a shower.
-Still need a lift?
-Look it. I got somethin' for us. This is gonna help, okay.
-Holy shit.
-Yeah.
-Sit down, man. Need a beer?
-Sure.
-What happened?
-They been keepin' a folder on me cuz of my stomach. Like how it was just before we'd play ball back in school. Thought it was just some tic I got, or ulcers like my daddy had. I can't... shoot. Target practice I'm a pro. I tag between the numbers each time but... But when there's really loud noises around me... somethin' happens. I
-I can't get Rae on the phone. She's not at home... none of her friends seen her anywhere.
-She's around. Always is.
-I don't know. She's gettin' crazy, like she gets. Begged me not to go. Got real down. I just think somethin's happened. Like she run off with someone. You'd tell me if you knew somethin', right?
-You been home yet?
-Uh-uh. I's hitchin' up the interstate when I seen your truck outside.
-This don't feel right. Kitchen looks just like I left it. I know, cuz I cleaned it.
-She ever tell you she was thinkin' of taking off?
-Ronnie. You can't see cuz you're too close to it. These nervous spells you get. You never had that shit back in school...
-That's not right, really, cuz I...
-And then you had to fall in love with the school slut.
-Now wait...
-With all she was doin'. With all the shit she kept doing! You stayed stuck to that bitch's ass and you wouldn't let go.
-YOU HAD A PLAN! YOU HAD A GODDAMN LIFE! AND SHE JUST FUCKED THE GUTS OUT OF YOU!
-It's not her fault, Gill. She's had to take care of me all this time, cuz I'd just start throwin' up... choking. Just losin' my grip. And she listened. She listened to me. And... I got better. I don't get nervous like I used to. And since we been together... she been faithful to me. Put all that junk behind her...
-You gonna steal my truck?
-It's not like I can't go out and have fun with my friends.
-You think I'm Ronnie's spy or somethin'? Come tomorrow that dumb- ass gonna be halfway round the world tryin' to keep his head on his shoulders. You think he's gonna be thinkin' about you?
-Jes? Jesse? Oh shit... Wait... Wait... STOP!
-Thought you had a skirt earlier.
-This thing you got... I've heard people say, you'd fuck a tree if it was handy. I can see that. But that nigger Tehronne. Thinks he's some player cuz he hustles dope and stolen hubcaps. I mean, I can see a tree. But that piece of shit?
-I begged him. Don't see why he had to go...
-The fuck you laughin' at?
-Ronnie ship out this mornin'?
-Nothing's gonna happen. Not like everybody over there is in the line of fire with them Arabs blowin' themselves up.
-Can't be thinkin' bout him every second of my day. I'll go outta my gourd.
-Why should you waste your life waitin' and wonderin'. Not like you're married.
-You wanna go home?
-It gets worse there. Leavin' me to my own mind. That's just not good.
-Better?
-Can't remember the last time I saw you in that suit.
-We leavin' this weekend. Deke got a friend in Mobile gonna get him a job at the water company...
-If you come to talk about that muthafucka, I'm gonna get up and leave you sittin' pretty in that new suit he bought'cha.
-Think this about money still, ya old fool?
-Say what you gotta say, but I ain't gonna hear you speak his name to me. Not never. You hear?
-Thought we was gonna be friendly about this.
-Carryin' on behind my back. Make me out to look like a fool to all our people. Tell me, what's friendly about that?
-I'm not ready to grow old, Laz. Livin' with you. I feel it. Like I'm one foot in the dirt. Saw it happen to my momma. And that's not gonna happen to me. I got living to do.
-Rose. Folks get sick. But you do what you can to get on the mend. Our marriage... it just got sick. That's all.
-Talk to me about sick. Ain't been right since I moved into that drafty house.
-I keep the heat on.
-That damned, rusty, radiator, bout burned the skin off my legs each time I passed.
-I deserve better than this.
-Better'n me?
-Better than what you give.
-Rose... please...
-Laz... You can't say nothin'...
-If we get with a counselor. At the church, maybe they's...
-God forgive you, for how you done me...
-Let go...
-My Daddy told me that a younger woman would bleed me dry. And that's what you did. Ya bled me.
-Let go of my arm...
-Would'a chopped my arm off if you asked. And this how you do me!
-LAZ, I said let...!
-You better pray, gal. You better pray...
-YOU SHUT UP!
-Careful how you point that gun, boy.
-Or what? OR WHAT?
-Boy? You here to make a point, or you here to kill somebody?
-Ain't gonna be callin' me boy when I blow your face off.
-You sayin' you'll do what?
-You heard me, mother-fucker. I'll fuckin' kill..
-You testing me? Huh? You testin' me, old man?
-GODDAMMIT, RAE!
-BOY! YOU KEEP THAT GUN POINTED AT ME! You need to kill a man, all you gotta have is a good reason. You know she been here with me, don't cha? Been all over town, givin' up that switch you thought was your own.
-SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
-Don't... don't say that to me...
-Like a man.
-Teh... Tehronne?
-Nn-nn... Nn-nn... no... N'RONNIE!
-Mm-mm... Mm-mm...
-Take it easy now. Don't rush it.
-How long... how long I been out?
-You been in and out goin' on two... maybe two days.
-Two days?
-Where's Ronnie?
-Well I don't...
-I don't got any money... for fixin' me up and all.
-Don't need none.
-Then I better be on my way. Don't wanna put you out no more.
-Think it'd be best if you stayed put while we talk.
-Naw'sir... I gotta be on my way.
-Let me say somethin' first...
-Why you got me chained?
-Way I see it, it's gonna take a while for you to get right.
-The fuck you been doin' to me?
-I ain't laid a hand on ya but to ease yo fever... Remember like I say, I found you in the road...
-Now, no harm's come to you... and I aim to keep it that way. Ain't gonna... gonna run a train over ya... or however you call it... see... you was runnin' wild on me... these fever dreams you was havin'... these fits. I'd be chasin' you all night.
-Gal, you ain't right yet.
-I'm right enough to stand on my own two feet. Now take this Goddamn chain off...
-How you let men treat ya like they do?
-What?
-These men you up under. How you let them do ya like that?
-Do me? Do me like this, you mean? Like chainin' me up?
-You know what I'm talkin' about. All that mess with ya teachers and... boys in the backs of trucks.
-The hell you know about me?! You got no right to talk to me about that shit! The hell you think you are?
-I give ya enough chain so's you can get about the house. Get you to the kitchen. You need the bathroom, it'll reach.
-What do you want?
-We got everything we need. Plenty of food. Ya medicine still got a few good swallows in it...
-WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WHATEVER YOU GONNA DO TO ME, JUST DO IT! AND LET ME GO!
-You some kind'a pervert?
-No ma'am.
-Some crazy Jesus freak, gonna fuck the spirit into me...
-In my house, you watch that lip...
-Look it, mister... you wanna have your way, you take it. I'll do whatever you want. But you gotta let me go. You can't do this! You can't KEEP ME HERE!
-LET ME GO!
-Now you get up! And you get in my house!
-Stop it! Stop it! IT HURTS!
-Wicked little bitch... gonna cut me...
-No, ma'am. You stop that foolishness.
-Hm-mm... Hm-mm...
-I said... STOP!
-You like this? Walkin' me through this field like I's your mule?
-Can't sit all day on that sofa. Need to get your legs strong.
-My Daddy was one of the first mens to organize soil conservation in these parts. That's a group of farmers, you know, each season they'd rotate the crop. Know why it's best to rotate em like that?
-Cuz once in a while soil need a change. Corn take up a lot of nitrate in the fertilizer. So next crop what ya do is plant ya some soy beans. That give off a lot of nitrate. Change keeps it all growin' and growin' strong. Sting a bit?
-Itches.
-Means ya healin'. So all this farmin' make me think on Matthew. Matthew 13. The parable of the sower? Man toss seed on rock, on the wayside, some fell in thorns... you know the story?
-The seed that land on good soil is for them who hear the word of God... and understand the word of God. Not enough for you to hear what I'm sayin', you gotta understand.
-I know. I get it. What's Matthew doin'?
-My God, gal, don't you got no SENSE? I ain't sayin' I ain't weak? Shit. Playin' guitar in the blood-bucket jukes all ya life... a nigga learn how to sin, let me tell you! I GOT SIN IN ME! I AIN'T GO'N LIE! BUT I GOT RESPECT! AND ALL YOU GOT IS BILE, GAL!
-Let go of me...
-Now that's sharp. That is sharp. Chain give you any trouble?
-Uh-uh.
-Good. Now I got the steaks on, potatoes at a boil, and biscuits ready to pop in the oven. R.L. and Lincoln out yonder grillin' up the corn. What do you know how to make?
-I don't fuckin' cook.
-Gal, I been around hard-cursin' folk all my life. And let me tell you...
-Look it... I put the Goddamn dress on, didn't I? I think I'm handlin' myself with some... fuckin' restraint here... how you got me locked up like a dog on a...
-If all you got is filth comin' out'cha mouth... people just gonna tune ya out. Rae. RAE! I'm not fightin' with ya. I just know you got more in you than junk. Now, you sayin' you don't know how to cook anything at all? You know how to boil water?
-I can handle that.
-They sure liked them devilled eggs.
-You take it straight?
-Want another?
-We drinkin' buddies now?
-Still makin' jokes?
-If you want... I can take you back to town now.
-Could you do somethin' for me?
-My life is gone. Only life I was livin'. And I lost it.
-I'm here with you.
-Tell me what to do.
-I seen a man die. He couldn't breathe... his heart was... was givin' out.
-You just havin' a fit. You ain't goin' nowhere.
-Oh, Laz... he hurt me. He... hurt me so many times.
-No one's gonna hurt you no more.
-Where you gonna be?
-Right here. Be here all afternoon. You ready for this?
-You took care of your wife, like you do me?
-What is it?
-Get'chu at that table up yonder.
-By myself?
-Are you drunk? Keep drinkin' water and you won't get a headache in the mornin'.
-Yeah, gal I been here before.
-Laz? Can I sleep with you tonight?
-Don't think that'd be wise.
-I didn't mean it nothin' dirty.
-Sorry.
-Looks like you know a song.
-How you feelin' today?
-You know how you feel when you come out of a bad hangover? Like your eyes can open a little bit more.
-I know that.
-Woke up real early. Sun was shining. Just thought I'd mess around, try to learn a song.
-Go'on and sing it, I'll play.
-No, you do it. I can't sing.
-Stop that foolishness. Just do as I say and close your eyes. Close your eyes. And think about... well, for a song like this, I'd say you think about what you love.
-What I love.
-Now that's sharp. That's real sharp. Miss Ella Mae set you up, didn't she? You like it?
-I've had nice things before but I always ruined 'em somehow.
-I don't want you to let go.
-Do you call it a game when only one man win each time? I think you call it a damn shame.
-You need some weed?
-Been years since I fooled with that. You know a white girl? Dirty blond hair, split down the middle like?
-That ain't up to me to hook you up. Naw what I mean? She her own, you know?
-Huh?
-I don't pimp that. You talkin' about who I think you talkin' about, you mean Rae. Rae Doole. Sexy little split tail, like you say. I can't hook you up with that. I got two girls. One ain't in town, the other one pregnant. So... you on your own.
-This Rae... you get with her?
-Shit. Who hasn't?
-Why you say that?
-She got a spare minute she'll snatch up anyone... but me, I'm different. Sometimes she need the real deal, so she call me up. Girl got an itch. You know... what's a nigga to do?
-She like it rough? You like beatin' on her?
-That ain't my scene. If that's somethin' you into...
-Now, hold up.
-See, that girl is in my favor. You heard me, nigga? You fuck with her rough, and you got me to fuck wit.
-You collar that dog, boy. I ain't gonna hurt nobody. Just wanted to know who she was.
-Like I say, you wanna hook that up... I ain't in ya way. That switch of hers been all over this town. Got that sickness, you know.
-What'chu sayin'?
-What'chu sayin'?
-She a freak. Got what you call a sexual addiction.
-What'chu sayin'?
-First hooked up with that bitch when she was 16. Girl was fuckin' the principal and two of her teachers. You know coach Reynolds?
-Uh-huh.
-He tapped that.
-Naw!
-You ever seen a train run on a woman?
-Nuh-uh.
-How a girl get like that?
-It got some miles on it, but my boys say she run good. Got fresh 22's on her. Ain't my doin'. That's just how it came to me. Don't worry. Nobody gonna come lookin' for it. I got the pinks... got no problem. Ain't gonna have my girl ridin' no bus.
-Don't see generosity much these days. Everything always got a catch. Guess I'm tryin' to say... thank you.
-You ain't gonna make a fuss, are you? Nothing a man can do when a woman make up her mind.
-I never laid a hand on her in anger. Not a day. Not even when I's drinkin'. But this business got me wonderin' what a good shake and slap would do for her.
-That kind of talk is between us. Don't you go in there with that shit on your tongue.
-Bojo called. Said you got to see your brother at the long end of a broken bottle.
-You gonna preach 'bout turnin' the other cheek?
-I think you did alright by God under the circumstances. Your people are here for you, Laz. This is your home. No shame in showing your face.
-Don't know if God wanna see me.
-Was that Lincoln James I seen run off?
-He's fine. Just had a bad fall.
-Why's his britches round his knees?
-You get a call from Rose?
-This ain't got nothin' to do with that woman. Just don't want nobody around me now.
-Goin' dove huntin'?
-You gotta go, R.L.. I ain't foolin' this time.
-You ain't gonna talk me outta shit no more. I got my mind made up and I ain't gonna be moved on this.
-Ain't gonna be moved?
-Got no place for preachin' here. Not now. So you do as I say...
-Or what?
-Are you outta ya GODDAMN MIND?
-Man like you ought not take the Lord's name like you just done.
-A naked woman, chained in ya house?
-I'm tellin' you the truth, dammit. I found her beat. Left for dead. So I brung her home.
-Laz, I know about that girl. Good number of this town's sinners got my ear, you know. Oh, Laz. She's had a mess of crabs and them STD's. What'chu thinking?
-I haven't laid a hand. On my life, R.L., my wick is dry on this.
-You say she was beat on. You call the sheriff on that?
-Put yo'self in my shoes. Say you out here, alone, with a beaten, half naked, white woman loves to fuck. I been toe to toe with the law in this town for no more than being black and nearby.
-Why don't you go'on and ask her. She need to talk wit somebody with sense. Folks been ruttin' and beatin' on this gal all her days. And this is how I'm handling it.
-Good. Makin' steaks for supper. I expect you to come.
-You mean with you and that woman chained to ya radiator?
-You treat folks special when they company. It's just supper, R.L., shit.
-Pass them potatoes, Lincoln.
-Y'all let me know if these steaks are too dry.
-Mm. MM. Now these eggs got some kick to it. What'chu got in this?
-Gotta get that chain off her, Laz. Somethin' like this gets out, you could land in a heap of trouble.
-I'm dealin' with what God put before me.
-You believe He wants this? A woman chained to ya radiator?
-Not like that.
-Then what?
-The hell is this shit?
-What? I called Bojo, like you say. Called up the fellas in the band...
-There you go, preacher man. Get me drunk so I don't stick my foot up yo ass.
-Heard about this morning.
-Yeah, you know you home, old man. You just walked through the door.
-And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Who gives this girl in marriage?
-You won't at the square this mornin'.
-Get me ten bags of mulch.
-Keep the change on that.
-What happened in there... that won't your fault. Ain't a young man alive could keep they britches on with that girl being in heat like she is.
-Why she got a chain on her?
-That's between her and me. It's private. And I don't want you goin' off and tellin' ya daddy.
-Please don't tell my daddy.
-So... That your first time?
-Yes'sir.
-I skipped lunch.
-Thank you.
-I gotta ask you. Why do you think Laz is keepin' you chained like this?
-You know how, like they say, you save someone's life, you responsible for them. Guess he just don't think it's safe for me.
-You a preacher?
-That's right.
-Can I ask you a question? People always say, you gotta get good with Jesus, if you want not to go to hell. That you say sorry for all you done and... and Jesus would let you go on to heaven.
-You could put it that way.
-But that's so fuckin' stupid. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to curse.
-What's on your mind?
-You can't hurt people... and then just say, I'm sorry, and then everything just gets washed away. Why would heaven want people like that. People who... do what they want and then... switch.
-It starts like this... fire... that spreads. Starts in my head. Then moves to my stomach. Then it goes lower. I can stop it sometimes but mostly I just jump on and ride it out... then everything'll go back to normal, you know. Only thing ever took that feeling away was... was... when I met Ronnie. Cuz I love him so much. He's all
-This ain't gonna work.
-Rae...
-I don't see why we gotta lie 'bout it when you and I know this ain't gonna work.
-Rae don't do this now...
-It's stupid... It's so fucking stupid!
-Hey.
-Hey.
-I think if I just piss... I'll be okay.
-You feelin' sick?
-I'm just in one of my moods. You know how I get.
-I think it'd be better if you talk to me.
-Yeah?
-Well. That's my vomit. I came in here to get sick. I thought I'd make the toilet but... anyway, I got sick.
-Are you wasted?
-No. I just got a messed up stomach.
-Holy shit!
-What?
-Holy shit, Ronnie! You're a fuckin' rock star.
-I'm a what?
-I feel better. Do you?
-Ain't been a week and you already some nigger's whore? Gill told me. Told me how you and he... you and everybody...
-Ronnie. Please, baby...
-Goddamn it, I ask you a question, you better answer it, or I'm gonna blast a hole in ya!
-Didn't know you was workin' here now?
-What happened to your face?
-Got in a little accident.
-Since you workin' on the square now, maybe we could get some coffee in the morning, if you want.
-You need money again?
-No. That's not why... Why we always gotta do this? I mean, you and me been at each other as far back as I can remember. Wasn't no love between us. And I'm your daughter. I'm the only family you got.
-You never needed nobody. Always made that clear to me.
-Yeah. I know I did. But... I'm tryin' to be dif'rent. I'm tryin' to... get some peace, you know?
-I'm workin' here, Rae. Can you see that?
-I just wanted some make-up.
-I just think you should'a kept him off me, that's all.
-The hell are you talkin' about?
-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to shout...
-All my life I been puttin' out your fires, with you givin' out your snatch to every waggin' dick in this town. And you gonna lay the blame at my feet? Well, I ain't gonna take that.
-But... Momma... just tell me... not gonna be mad... we can just talk about it... Be eye to eye on this... You don't even got to say you're sorry... Just say how you knew...
-You got any money?
-Thought you had a man for that.
-I said we wasn't gonna talk about him.
-What we just did, you askin' for money, make a man stop. I ain't callin' you no ho. But I ain't gonna be played like no trick, neither. Remember... you called me.
-Save that hustle talk to them field ballers you sell crack to.
-What'd I tell you? I don't do none of that shit no more. I'm in communications now.
-Mobile technology is the new fix for these niggaz, I'm tellin' you. I'm just lookin' ahead. Anyways, ain't no money in drugs no more with these rednecks popping cough pills like they's Skittles. Hey, that's what you need, girl. Get you some cough medicine. What, you sick?
-Just a cough. Sugar and a spoonful of Jack'll do it.
-Alright. How much you need, ho?
-The hell you call me?
-I think she got to you, pappy.
-You want a popsicle, go to Good Humor. And don't call me 'pappy.'
-... It's not like you were slow or anything... I think you did just fine. I think you did great.
-Hey, hey, where you goin'?
-Wait up. You know the guy who did the Weismuller through the window --
-He works for Frank Abolofia. Atlantic City. Casinos.
-What's this?
-Back-up.
-Get rid of it.
-Why?
-It's not regulation. And the only way you're gonna stop anybody with it is to show it to him, and while he's laughing, you can shove it down his throat.
-Nick, let's go hunting. Bag Cavello.
-... I found the goombah... Cavello. He's --
--- I should tear your head off.
-Whoa, I knew you were going to say that. I absolutely anticipated that, Nick. But I said to myself, Charlie, Charlie, we can move up on this, so go find Nicklaus... He'll be pissed for a moment, but then it'll dawn on him --
-What are they doing now?
-Eating Scungilli, just like the last time you asked.
-Who do you think the Jap is?
-Maybe Cavello's buying a Subaru. How would I know?
-Charlie, don't do anything. Promise me?
-Frank Abolofia.
-Some party.
-Maybe we should do something?
-What are you doing?
-... Nick, you're the one that's always saying you never go anywhere.
-I was thinking the Poconos, Charlie. Maybe Vegas.
-What are you missing? Riding your motorcycle to the nurse's house. That shit is sadder than Ethiopia.
-Beats forty hours on a plane.
-I call, right? I say I got the dreaded thirty six-hour Asian shits from some raw clam and we stretch it into three days. You and I become a driving force on the local Geisha scene.
-Not a prayer.
-What'd you say?
-Nick... You up?
-Nick, have I been a good partner?
-I just want you to know... I mean anybody who says you ever took has got to deal with me.
-Go to sleep, Charlie.
-I worked the three nine in Queens, Charlie.
-I didn't know.
-Givin' you a book is like givin' a baby a gun.
-Hey, when in Rome --
-Let's go.
-Nick, we can't just --
-... Detective Ich-iro Matsu-moto. Hey, we're getting Mr. Moto on our side.
-Let's grab some food.
-This should be it...
-This the right place?
-Getting very weird.
-I'd feel better if we had some heat.
-It's incredible. Hit him or something.
-... He's a sorry old guy, but I like him.
-Now that's the kind of motorcycle I want to see you on.
-Sure, a rice burning crotch rocket...
-Squid?
-Joyce can be nice.
-What'd she say?
-You cool, Ich?
-Cool?
-What does Ichiro mean, anyway?
-What does Charlie mean?
-Short shift?
-It's getting too cold even for me, Nick.
-Connie...
-All right, how's the new partner?
-High spirits, desire, commitment.
-You'll take care of that.
-Give me a break, would you?
-Are you expecting anyone?
-Where do we start looking for this guy?
-Where're you going, Ichiro?
-"Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire." To the killer. Jerry Lee Lewis.
-Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, Dinky Doo And The Don't's. Let's book, Charlie. If he starts on Motown, we'll be here all night.
-No, this is the place for the young Yakuza.
-... We got to keep looking. Track him down! Great balls of fire!
-Nick!
-Give us a break...
-It's Ichiro. Ich.
-You know, Inspector, you take shit once, you take shit forever.
-I don't deserve Ohashi's respect.
-Why the hell not?
-What happened?
-It may be too soon to talk about it. When someone we care for dies we... ... keep something of their's. A tie, a pen.
-Why weren't you at the platform?
-You must leave?
-Yeah...
-I've continued working on the case!
-How'd you get this?
-Know her?
-We can ask someone I used to work with. A criminal. Someone I pay money to...
-What's he saying?
-Nick, no one's seen Kobo in three days. He might not even be in Tokyo.
-You said you could keep up with her! 'No problem, Nick-san.'
-No. Don't say anything. Don't do anything, and for Christ's sake, don't apologize!
-What'd I tell you?
-Did I say that?
-You toler -- yes, tolerate me.
-You're doing fine, Ich. Now drop it, okay?
-Nick...
-Work, lunch, groceries, laundry... Fabulous...
-Chikuwa, Hampen, Kobu, Konnayaku, Ganmodoki --
-Ichiro --
-Broiled fish paste cake, Kelp roll, soybean curd, devils tongue --
-Yakuza.
-She disappeared... shit!
-You can't come in. They don't want --
-Gaiijin.
-If I smell one drop of Scotch on your breath, my friend --
-I'm not drunk...
-We're through. I mean it. This is the end of the line, Matsumoto.
-Nick --
-... A Godfather. His man was killed at the printing plant.
-I want to yank Kobo.
-Ich, my name is Nick. Not Nicklaus, not Nicklaus-san, not Nick-san. Nick.
-Nick!
-Where does this Sugai live?
-A resort city, Beppu.
-I want to go talk to him.
-What...? Why?
-Because he knows how to get to our man.
-He'll never speak to a Gaiijin.
-It's very small.
-Big enough.
-It's illegal, Nick.
-It's a new deal. ... coming with me tomorrow?
-What's in the box?
-For Sugai. Caviar, French cheese, ham... If you come to apologize for interrupting his meeting, Sugai may feel obligated to see you.
-No...
-Let's go. Him first.
-Nick, you can't do this.
-Grab the keys, Ich, and get inside.
-No.
-Start it.
-Just one, compadre... Kampai.
-You did great, Ichiro.
-I was ready to have your ass for taking off on me.
-I followed them. An hour from the train station.
-How many men?
-I couldn't tell.
-Joyce?
-I don't know.
-Someone attacked him.
-Thank you. You have one?
-A wife. She left.
-I'm sorry.
-What's that for?
-You know, Nick, we can't lose.
-Why's that?
-You all right?
-Yes...
-Louder, pal, louder.
-Think we'll get him, Nick?
-We can't lose.
-Don't give him any more.
-Ich said you left.
-Dead gaiijin's are big news.
-Gaiijin?
-An outside person. A foreigner. A barbarian. You, me. More you.
-I could use some help. Show me around. I'll pay you for your time.
-You can count on the truth from people who don't like you.
-You have a helluva way of asking for help.
-Look, you need Ich. I've been here five years and I still can't read all the street signs.
-Maybe I'm a quicker learner.
-She ever pull down her shades?
-Don't be an ass.
-He's on duty.
-You know where I can get a decent cup of coffee this time of night? I'm buying.
-I need your help, Joyce.
-Where's Ich?
-I've heard of Sugai. I've also heard of the emperor. They're both national treasures. One's a hood.
-I need someone to translate for me.
-My Japanese isn't that hot... Besides, you'll never get in.
-It's my last shot. I have to be on a plane home tomorrow night.
-And I'm supposed to care?
-You're wrong to sell Ich short.
-He drinks.
-Where's the wife?
-I'd invite you up but I know you'd hate the incense. I chant.
-What do you chant?
-'Nam oyo ranged kyo.' You think it's dumb of course.
-Not if it works. I'll meet you at the train?
-I don't remember saying yes.
-They want your autograph.
-Who am I supposed to be?
-This little guy thinks you're Robert Redford... the other one thinks you're Charles Bronson...
-We're in?
-You'll get Ich killed.
-No one's keeping him here.
-Bullshit, Nick. And don't tell me this is all just about Charlie. It's not.
-I still think you're a bastard.
-What if I chant?
-Can't make you change your mind?
-Last time you asked me to come along I nearly got a hole in my head.
-Might be different in New York.
-Maybe. If I come visit, we can find out.
-Keep the change.
-Ugly... A couple of thousand years they've been bound by these little rules. Looking in. Always afraid. Ugly little lives...
-Save it, I already took the tour.
-I like your friend, Joyce. You're lucky.
-Guess I'm on a roll.
-She's such a long way home for you.
-This is my stop.
-I'm amused.
-Sugai won't give it to me, you know that.
-How big a package we talking about?
-This by this...
-Dope?
-Not in that company.
-One guy do all the damage?
-Yeah.
-Doesn't speak a word of English. And he won't speak Japanese either. No papers. The Japanese embassy is very interested.
-Why?
-He's wanted in Japan. They want him first. Then we can have him.
-You and Charlie are taking the Jap home, tonight.
-What...? What if I say no?
-Check your gun before you leave. They're not allowed in Japan. It's a nice, safe country.
-Why me?
-It's not your job.
-He was my partner.
-They're blaming it on you. Christ, Conklin, you didn't even tell me you lost the prisoner!
-I planned on catching him, Captain.
-How? You don't know the place. You don't know the language. Get on the plane.
-He killed a police officer.
-... Remember, counterfeiting is the Feds. They'll be all over Abolofia's place. Stick tight. You I.D. the other plate, he does real time.
-You lost a man we wanted for some time. It was very incompetent on your part, officer.
-I want a gun.
-It is not allowed.
-We're police officers.
-You're foreigners.
-Hey, inspector, I don't intend to take the rap for this.
-Could you fill me in?
-Because I want you to tell me.
-The young are eating the old, something that usually doesn't happen here.
-What's this?
-Your visa has expired. Be on a plane in twenty-four hours or you will be deported.
-While you were hanging out at the visa office, we found the son-of-a- bitch.
-Hey...! HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU, INSPECTOR!
-Your plane leaves at six. Two officers will escort you.
-For God's sake, Ohashi, I need your help. Let me out of here!
-You had my help, detective.
-If anything happens to her while I'm here --
--- Do you know where she is, detective? Do you know how to find her? Even where to start? We will find them.
-I have to get to Sugai.
-Seven years work by the finest engraver. Mass produced, sequentially numbered. The best there has ever been, Mr. Conklin.
-I'm impressed. But let's use the short form. I'm looking for --
-I took Kobo from the street. I gave him a home, a future... But my ways were too slow for him... I served seven years in prison for my boss when I was a young man. Kobo wouldn't serve seven minutes for his Oyabun. He was supposed to take over this syndicate when I retired.
-I want him.
-Our associates in New York were close to closing a deal with us.
-The families who control the casinos?
-Imagine if your families could pay their gambling and drug debts with perfect counterfeit bought for cents on the dollar.
-The Feds would be onto you in a month.
-Why tell me this?
-The other plate is currently in New York, in the hands of Kobo's man. Find it for me.
-You trust me?
-With these?
-Swiss bank deposit. Gold bullion. Whatever you want. You know the city and the police.
-If I say no?
-You're smarter than Kobo. You know the price of deceit. Think about it.
-Good.
-That wasn't our deal.
-You want him dead too.
-Can't thank you enough, Mr. Sebastian. If you hadn't come along...
-We're not used to the big city. Where we come from it's not so easy to get lost.
-You certainly have a nice place here.
-He knows what he's doing.
-If he won't cooperate?
-I'm sure glad you found us, Sebastian. What do you think, Mary?
-I don't think there is another human being in this whole world who would have helped us.
-Let's go while there is still time.
-Where?
-What's the point?
-Not to be trapped.
-One man. He must be good.
-Then go get him.
-The name is Batty. Roy Batty.
-Yeah. It might be better if we talk in private, Sebastian. Why don't you go home.
-I'm surprised you didn't come to me sooner.
-It's not an easy thing to meet your maker.
-And what can he do for you?
-Can the maker repair what he makes?
-Would you like to be modified?
-Had in mind something a little more radical.
-What's the problem?
-Death.
-I want more life, fucker.
-The facts of life. I'll be blunt. To make an alteration in the evolvement of an organic life system, at least by men, makers or not, it fatal. A coding sequence can't be revised once it's established.
-Why?
-Because by the second day of incubation any cells that have undergone reversion mutation give rise to revertant colonies -- like rats leaving a sinking ship. The ship sinks.
-What about E.M.S. recombination?
-Then a repressor protein that blocks the operating cells.
-Wouldn't obstruct replication, but it does give rise to an error in replication, so that the newly formed DNA strand carries a mutation and you're got a virus again... but all this is academic -- you are made as good as we could make you.
-But not to last.
-Also you're too valuable to experiment with.
-I've done some questionable things.
-Also extraordinary things.
-I like a man who stays put. An admirable thing to be able to sustain yourself in these times. You live here all by yourself, do you?
-How about breakfast, I was just going to make some.
-If it wouldn't be too much of a bother... a little bite to eat would be...
-Oh, no bother, I'd be glad to.
-Why are you staring at us?
-What, Sebastian?
-What generation are you?
-Show me something?
-Like what?
-We have a lot in common.
-You mean that you can't come here and I can't go there?
-Not only that, but we have smiliar problems. Accelerated decrepitude. But we don't want to die quite yet.
-Of course not.
-You could help us.
-I don't know much about biomechanics, Roy. I wish I did, but you're out of my league.
-What about your friend, the man who owns this building?
-He's not really my friend. I just do a job for him now and then.
-Tyrell could help us, Sebastian.
-He could?
-His company made us.
-I'd be happy to mention it to him.
-Be better if I could talk to him in person. But he's not an easy man to get to.
-No.
-When do you deliver your project?
-You're our best and only friend.
-Where are you going, Sebastian?
-Just thought I'd...
-What's going on down there?
-He's not ready yet.
-When?
-This is my Uncle Roy, Sebastian.
-Then we're stupid and we'll die.
-I think, therefore I am.
-I want to do it.
-Six, huh?
-Five. Three nights ago one of them managed to break into the Tyrell Corporation. Killed two guards and got as far as the Genetic Sector before he got fried going through an electro- field.
-What was he after?
-You got a machine on it yet?
-We're using Esper -- a 231 -- that picked up Holden's alarm. Its guess is that all five are in the city.
-The Tyrell Corporation has a demo model. Check it out on the Voight-Kampff. There's a chance the Nexus-6 is beyond out ability to detect. If that's the case, everybody's up shit creek.
-What was the cover on the one that got Holden?
-Industrial refuse.
-Yeah.
-Bryant here. Regarding the rundown you requested on job applicants, Esper's concluded that the only irregular category that Tyrell's got is the entertainment section. You better get on it.
-I was just about to have my dinner.
-She was gonna get away.
-I didn't like her.
-Look, go home. Get some rest. Take an aspirin.
-Yeah.
-This is Bryant. Are you alone?
-Yeah.
-She's not with you?
-Take a number. Canapt 1700, tenth floor, Villa Vita District, Olympia South.
-Got it.
-If you don't, we will. It has to be total, Deckard. That's an order from as high as it comes. Got it?
-Yeah. I got it.
-It's gotta be right for my customer.
-Well, when do you get paid?
-Soon as I finish the job.
-When might that be?
-Day after tomorrow.
-Machines can be helpful sometimes, but they can also be a pain in the ass. Ask for a trace on a forger and you might wind up at a steel- mill. I don't mind a bum-steer once in a while -- it's their personalities that usually get me. Somebody once said that man makes machines in his own image. If that's true, whoever made
-You equipped for random questions?
-Why, yes, of course.
-You start.
-The five in question are third generation Nexus Sixes, constructed of skin-flesh culture, selected enogenic transfer conversion capable of self-perpetuating thought, para-physical abilities and developed for emigration program. Are you with me?
-How do I stop one?
-Unlike a five, they can sustain massive traumas to several parts of the body without debilitating another. Sever a leg and it will perform quicker on the remaining leg than the fastest man can run,
-Okay, but...
-Here's something you might find interesting. They have been built to emulate the human in every way except in its emotional spectrum. However, after a period of time it is only logical that such a 'mechanism' would create its own emotional responses, hate, love, fear, anger, envy.
-I know all that.
-What about a summary then.
-Yes?
-Do you have something against science?
-Not if it works.
-And what in your estimation works?
-Four years. Which would make her termination date...
-Never mind. Do they have that knowledge?
-Okay, gimme a run-down on the three females.
-Nexus designated Mary: incept November 1 2017, domestic conditioning non competitive, trained for day care position.
-Next.
-Nexus designated Pris: incept data December 13 2017, competitive, programmed to provide pleasure for long term spacers.
-Number three.
-I think I have no money.
-It's okay. Forget it.
-But I would like to buy you drink.
-I'll but you one. What'll you have?
-Vodka!
-Shot of vodka, please.
-Thank you very much.
-Prosit.
-You want to see my friends?
-Sorry, don't have the time.
-Those cockroaches?
-How long you had these guys?
-Prosit.
-You like to kiss her goodbye.
-I like you.
-I like you too.
-One more, eh?
-How old am I?
-My birthday is April 10, 2015. How long do I live?
-I'm great. I mean, I know I'm not really great, but I feel just great. How you like my new suit?
-Don't make me laugh. It makes me pee.
-Sorry.
-Hey, it's okay. I like to pee. So how are you doing?
-I'm doing okay.
-From what I hear you're doing great. Bryant tells me you're going like a god damn one-man army. Making a lot of money, huh?
-Yeah. But that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
-Money?
-No. I got a problem.
-Let's hear it.
-What's that?
-Love is just another name for sex. Love is sexy and sex is lovely -- I don't care what you call it, an android can't have it.
-These aren't just...
-Nerves of steel.
-No rust?
-I didn't say that. Your motivity rate checked out a little slower than last time.
-Meaning?
-During the road test...
-Yeah?
-Your mind kept wandering. That bothered me.
-Huh huh.
-Considering the nature of your work, that could be unhealthy.
-But you haven't put in for emigration.
-Nope.
-You're going to be over the limit.
-Listen, I could make you a long list of complaints about this fucken city but I still rather be here than up there.
-What if you change your mind?
-They'll change the limit before I change my mind.
-You sure?
-Why didn't you go?
-Too old.
-My job is here.
-Taffey Lewis?
-Yes?
-I'd like you to take a look at these pictures.
-You see I lost my contacts a couple of days ago around here somewhere and my sight is a little... What am I supposed to be looking for?
-This one looks familiar, but I don't know. Naw. There's one came in today looks a little like this one but...
-What did she want?
-Who?
-The girl that doesn't look like that girl.
-Nothing. She wanted to know about suck night.
-What night?
-I didn't know if I wanted to handle her -- I already got a snake act. But my partner goes down there to the Opera House on suck night to book the good ones.
-What's suck night?
-That's what we call in the trade, audition free-for- alls and most of it sucks. Bit I don't think that's her.
-Book the good ones for where?
-Lots of places. The tours, the clubs, the Silicone shows, private parties.
-What shows?
-Yeah?
-There's been reports of management sexually abusing the artists in this place.
-I don't know nothing about it.
-How do you mean 'exploited'?
-Like to get this position. Did you or were you asked to do anything lewd or unsavory or otherwise repulsive to your person?
-Are you for real?
-Oh, yeah. You'd be surprised what goes on around here. I'd like to check the dressing room if I could.
-What the fuck for?
-It that mother real?
-Of course he's not real. You think I'd be working here if I could afford a real snake?
-It's a good job.
-The best.
-Does it eat?
-Jeezus!
-Sorry.
-You'd be surprised what a guy'll go through to get a glimpse of a beautiful body.
-I bet I would.
-Me.
-It seems your department doesn't believe out new unit is to the public benefit.
-A humanoid robot is like any other machine, it can be a benefit or a hazard. If it's a benefit, it's not our problem.
-It's artificial?
-Are you apprehensive?
-Why should I be?
-I wouldn't accept it. Also, I'd report the person who gave it to me to the police.
-I'd take him to the doctor.
-You're watching T.V. and suddenly you notice a wasp crawling on your wrist.
-In a magazine you come across a full-page photo of a nude girl.
-Is this testing whether I'm an android or a lesbian?
-You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
-I'd never get an abortion.
-Why not?
-That would be murder, Mr. Deckard.
-In your opinion.
-It would be my child.
-Last question. You're watching an old movie. It shows a banquet in progress, the guests are enjoying raw oysters.
-Is there anything else?
-I know you think it complicates your work, but I'm here to help.
-I've already got more help than I need.
-There's two reasons a man rejects help. Either because he's so good at what he does he doesn't think he needs it, or he's so insecure he can't admit it.
-Sounds like I'm an ass-hole either way, but the answer is still no.
-Two of us might be more effective than one.
-You use your equipment, don't you?
-So?
-Do I make you nervous?
-Yeah.
-I can imagine.
-They probably want to find out when they were made.
-Don't just stand there looking at me. It's not polite.
-What do you want me to do?
-You ever take a bath with a man before?
-I told you I'd come back.
-You did?
-Who is this?
-Me and my dad.
-Where is he?
-Dead.
-How come you're not on the job?
-I am. Part of my job is to sit on a couch and try and figure things out.
-How are you doing?
-What do people do in the afternoon?
-Do you dream?
-Yeah. Sometimes.
-Did you cry when your father died?
-Yeah.
-Nobody is freer than when he dreams. I read that.
-It wasn't very good last night, was it?
-I don't know, I have nothing to compare it to. I guess I thought there was something more to it.
-What?
-I don't know... I think I missed something.
-Like?
-When was the last time you cleaned this place?
-Hmmm?
-Have you ever cleaned your apartment?
-Don't be fooled by appearances.
-They could clean around the arrangement.
-But if I don't plug it in how can I...
-Never mind the plug, just go through the motions.
-But then how can you...
-This feels stupid.
-You're sick, Deckard.
-Have you ever known anybody a long time?
-You mean a woman?
-Uh-huh.
-What's a long time?
-Ten years.
-Why do you call it retire, why don't you call it murder?
-Because it's not.
-Don't you think anything that can suffer deserves to be considered?
-Andies only simulate suffering -- if they're programmed for it.
-Do you think I simulated what happened between us?
-Don't leave here. Don't open the door, don't answer the phone.
-What difference will it make?
-You know what I think?
-What?
-Where the hell you been?
-You know where I been. I been on vacation.
-Next time you go on vacation, do me a favor, let us know where it is.
-What's up?
-Bad?
-Severed spine. You'd better get in here. Bryant's waiting for you.
-Thanks.
-Black?
-Is this to be an empathy test?
-Yes.
-May I ask a personal question?
-Go ahead.
-Have you ever retired a human by mistake?
-No.
-But in your profession that is a risk.
-Nothing is infallible, but so far the Voight-Kampff scale bas been foolproof.
-Like you said, Mr. Deckard, a machine can be a hazard. The Voight-Kampff scale is a machine, isn't it?
-One that relies on human interpretation. Where's the subject?
-Well?
-If she is, the machine works.
-How many questions did it take?
-She didn't know?
-How many questions does it usually take, Mr. Deckard?
-And how is it one man will be able to cover so much ground?
-Discreetly.
-Let's keep our eyes on the road, Deckard.
-We're going to have to start the sequence again if you don't stay with me, Deckard. Concentrate.
-How do you know I'm not?
-You're not responding to the stimulus. I can see right here, I'm not getting a reading.
-I'm tired of this.
-I kinda get nervous when I take tests.
-Don't move.
-Already had I.Q. test this year -- but I don't think I never had a...
-You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a...
-What?
-What desert?
-Doesn't make any difference what desert -- it's completely hypothetical.
-But how come I'd be there?
-Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself -- who knows. So you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling towards you...
-A tortoise. What's that?
-Know what a turtle is?
-Of course.
-Same thing.
-But I understand what you mean.
-Whatcha mean, I'm not helping?
-How come you were in my truck?
-What's your name?
-Pris.
-Mine's J.F. Sebastian.
-You want to go home?
-I don't have one.
-Where are your folks?
-They left.
-What about friends?
-We scared each other pretty good didn't we?
-I'm hungry, J.F.
-I've got stuff. If you wanna go to my place?
-Whatcha doin'?
-You look... better.
-Just better.
-Beautiful.
-And you live in this building all by yourself?
-Twenty.
-Methuselah Syndrome.
-What's that?
-My glands. They grow old too fast.
-Is that why you're still here?
-Ah, you get hold of your friends?
-As a matter of fact I did. They've got some work to do tonight, but they're gonna come tomorrow.
-Sebastian doesn't like to go out too much.
-What makes you think so?
-Hi!
-Yes?
-Oh, now, that's a great one!
-You like it?
-Bravo!
-This is my new friend...
-I'm Adam Webber.
-We work on Rodeo Drive. But we're both professional dancers.
-You're kidding!
-No, I'm not! My mom taught me.
-Your mom was a dancer?
-She is a dancer! And a lovely one! You would like her very much! Shall we dance?
-I'm Nina Aron, Adam.
-How do you do?
-Very well, thank you. I'm with the County Family Services Department. Eve tells me you've been living in a bomb shelter most of your life.
-Fallout shelter. There's a difference.
-We want you to come with us so we can talk some more about your experiences.
-Come where?
-My office.
-For how long?
-Well, that depends...
-Let's go talk first, Adam.
-The key to my hotel room! I want you to have my baseball cards! And please be sure to pay my bill!
-How do you do?
-But I do miss that green sport coat of yours.
-Thank you very much. But, Cliff, that's my seat. And I was just--
-Please excuse this interruption.
-Eve, I don't mean to be rude, and please excuse me Cliff, but Eve, isn't Cliff just a butt with hair?
-What?!
-I'm sorry, and legs. Legs, butt and hair. Well, isn't he? And shallow, as well?
-Cliff, I must warn you. I know how to defend myself.
-Maybe we shouldn't fight at all. Fighting is pretty immature.
-It certainly is. I agree with you completely.
-Bon soir, mademoiselle!
-Are you French?
-No. I'm from out of town. I'm here on business.
-Get out of here!
-Come on, Heathcliff, I'll walk you to the corner.
-Where are we going?
-We? I'm going home. And, judging by that coat, I'd say you have to get back to the barber college.
-No, I'm lost.
-You're lost?
-Say,...did you just lose your job because of me?
-Forget it. I'm sick of working for that dickhead.
-Dickhead?
-What's wrong with you?
-I just had a mental picture of...
-I came on a bus.
-Why doesn't that surprise me?
-Well, I guess because I'm a little psychic...I have this thing.
-Oh, that's nice.
-So far?
-Yes, I'm right?
-Right.
-I knew it! So anyhow, you get on a bus and before you know it, you're out here in the San Fernando Valley without a clue. Which brings us to here. Correct again?
-Again.
-Where are you staying? The Holiday Inn?
-Yes! Yes! The Holiday Inn! That's exactly right!
-See? I'm psychic. Not completely, but pretty much. That was pretty good, wasn't it?!
-It was amazing.
-Yeah. Thanks. Anyhow, let me predict a bus for you to get on.
-Do you own a car?
-I'm not taking you there, Sweetie. Rule Number One in North America: No strangers in the car.
-If it will make you feel any better, I don't have a gun.
-You don't?
-Nope.
-I'm sorry! I said something wrong, didn't I! Please forgive me!
-Wait! Please wait! I'll make a deal with you! I'll give you a Rogers Hornsby, if you'll take me to the hotel!
-Rogers Hornsby?!?
-Rogers Hornsby's worth like four thousand dollars!
-So for four thousand dollars, all I have to do is drive you to your hotel?
-Yes.
-And that's it?
-Yes.
-I don't have to take a physical in your space ship?
-Heck, no! What?!
-So...Mister Andretti, your first time on the freeway?
-It's Webber. Adam Webber.
-Wait! Wait!
-What is it?!
-It's Perry!
-Perry?
-Perry Como! You had him! Go back! Go back!
-How's that?
-Oh, I could die...
-Over this?
-Yeah! Listen to this part. This is where it really takes off!
-Hey, what are you doing?!
-Gee-zooie!! You better slow down!!!
-That was...wonderful! I've never felt anything like that in my life.
-Yeah, same here. Don't forget your suitcase.
-I am so glad to see you!! I thought I'd never see you again!
-Okay, down boy. I can't take this for driving you home. I wish I could, but I can't. So here, take it back. I could have just left it for you at the desk, but it's very valuable. Now take it.
-I can't, it's yours.
-Take it. damn it!
-Why are you doing that?
-I haven't brushed yet.
-Wait, Eve, please! Wait.
-I knew this would happen! You're like a lost puppy!
-Can't you please just talk to me for one second?
-Troy? Is he your husband? Or a boyfriend?
-No.
-Thank-Q!
-Oh, stop that! God! Listen, I know you like me. I can tell. But you know what? A lot of guys like me. Not me, exactly. It's more like the legs or the butt or the hair. Or some combination of the above.
-I think it's the eyes.
-The eyes. Okay. An eye-man. Anyhow, it never works out. Okay? Not that you even need to know that! You look like crap, by the way. What have you been doing?
-Watching television in color.
-Hey, no kidding? In color?
-See, ya.
-Why doesn't it never work out?
-What?
-Why does it never work out? You and...men?
-...Okay.
-It never works out because I'm into legs and butts and hair myself! That's why! So I wind up with guys who are very good looking, but even more shallow than I am, if you can picture that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find another low-paying, demeaning job where some guy named Jerry keeps telling me how lousy his marriage
-Why not go to work for me?
-Doing what?
-Selling all my baseball cards. And helping me buy enough food and supplies to fill several large trucks.
-Well, they're not starving yet, but they need help.
-How long would you need me?
-Two weeks.
-What's the pay?
-What's fair?
-You got it! Wait here while I change.
-Why not buy them milk or something-- instead of Dr. Pepper?
-They like Dr. Pepper.
-Who are these people?
-My Mom and Dad.
-Very funny, smart ass.
-Wait! Wait!
-Well, another day, another dollar. Stop staring at me!!
-Pick you up at eight tomorrow morning.
-Hey, you know. I was thinking...
-We'll have to rent a refrigerated truck for the beef and poultry.
-It's your life. And, by the way, it's a dandy.
-I guess we'll need another locker.
-No problem. We'll just sell another baseball card.
-Thank you.
-And, um ...I guess... I guess you and I, uh...
-Adam? Don't even think about it. Okay? I'm sorry. I know that sounds mean, but believe me, it would be meaner if I didn't say it. Okay?
-Okay.
-There's something else I would like you to help me with.
-Name it.
-Well, this is going to sound a little crazy.
-Oh, I'm sure it will!
-Then forget it.
-No, no! I'm sorry! What is it?
-This is for me.
-Well... Okay. I would like you to help me find a...wife.
-A wife?
-Yes.
-What for?
-Because I want to get married.
-Why?!
-I don't want to be alone.
-You can be single and not alone. Marriage bites!
-Bites what?
-The big one!
-It does?
-Sure.
-I didn't know that.
-Everybody knows that. Ask my divorced sisters. Or ask my divorced mom and dad.
-They're all divorced?
-Everybody's divorced.
-It didn't used to be that way.
-I wouldn't know. What kind of wife are you looking for?
-One who's not a mutant.
-No dogs, huh? Okay.
-When do you need her by?
-Two weeks.
-Well, I could probably get you laid in two weeks, but to locate a non-mutant wife from Pasadena...that could take some time.
-Could we talk about that a little later?
-Of course.
-Get out!
-Now, get out!!
-Yes, ma'am!
-Stop that ma'am crap!
-You almost got us killed!
-I told you I've never driven before!
-Never drive again!
-You said it would be easy!
-I was wrong!!
-Is this your house?
-Yes!
-Why, thank you! Very nice to have met you, Cliff! May I ask you a question?
-He's a former boyfriend. We lived together for about six months. And yes, I'll admit it. I've still kind of got a thing for him. That's what you wanted to know, isn't it?
-Actually,no. I was wondering why Cliff likes to wear another man's underpants.
-Here you go. One champagne cocktail.
-Thank-Q!
-I thought only hookers drank those things.
-Okay, let's see...I'm not promising anything. You okay?
-Um-hum.
-I'm seeing...snow... lots of snow. Way up North. Are we getting hot?
-Yes!
-You live in...Alaska. The only way in or out of your place is by plane and... you've definitely come down here for food and supplies and... to find a wife!
-Yeah, right! That's where you'd go to find girls! Nome. He's gay, by the way.
-Where's he gone?
-He's gone to check your answers on his computer.
-He has a computer?
-Sure.
-In the house?
-No. We keep it in the backyard. Of course, in the house. It's in there.
-May I please be excused?
-All right.
-The what?
-The guy with the underpants!
-About clothing?
-Yeah.
-What about holding your right arm up like that all the time?
-He's going to kill himself. Go skate out on the bike path! It's that way!
-Hey, Eve!
-Have you ever heard the saying, "He hasn't got enough sense to come in out of the rain?"
-Yep. You know, my father -- who is a scientist -- says that everything is a miracle. Everything. Until recently I wasn 't sure what he meant by that.
-Yeah? No kidding. Listen, you still want to go girl hunting tonight?
-I certainly do!
-Okay. But you know, this business of finding you a wife -- it's kind of ridiculous, don't you think?
-No it's not!
-Yes it is. A girlfriend maybe. But a wife? I mean...
-Then just help me find a girlfriend! That's all I ask. I'll give you every single card I've got left!
-Hey, screw you! Okay? You think I'm just somebody you can buy off! Listen, let me tell you something--
-Would you do it just because you're my friend? My very best friend.
-My goodness gracious! This place is something!
-No! Not crazy!
-Do I look crazy?
-Quit showing off! We're here on business!
-I thought I was here to meet women.
-Not that one!
-I like her.
-What have you ordered?
-What about her?
-No way.
-Why?! I think she's very attractive.
-Adam! She's got bitch written all over her! You do know what "bitch" means, don't you?
-Yes, I have a dictionary. But I can't understand for the life of me why you would call her that! Or why Cliff would say that about you.
-Because we're bitches! Look at her! Look at the expression on her face! The walk, the jewelry, the fingernails. Please!
-Okay. I like that.
-Yeah, sweet. That's a nice way of putting it.
-Really?
-That's ridiculous.
-Yeah. Could be. Go say hello, Romeo. Looks like a healthy non-mutant to me.
-Okay. All right. And what do I say?
-What?
-Romeo and Juliet. I cried at the end.
-You wanted to see me!
-You're not from Alaska! Where'd you learn to dance like that?! And there are no starving people, are there?!
-Why are you suddenly so mad at me?
-Don't change the subject! I want you to tell me the truth about yourself.
-I've never lied to you. I've maybe let you believe things that you wanted to believe, but I've never lied.
-You think I'm some sort of sap?! Don't you?!
-No. I admire you. I...I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I did. I think that you are the most--
-I want to know exactly who you are and what you're really up to!
-Adam?!
-I don't blame you!
-I'm leaving, too.
-But, Eve, I would--
-Eve?!
-Scare me, why don't you?!!? You stupid son of a bitch!!!
-I'm really sorry!
-What in the hell are you doing here!! You're supposed to be over on San Vicente Boulevard having unsafe sex with that slut Sophie!!
-I know...and I'm really sorry.
-Well, you should be! Thanks to you, my heart is in my neck!
-What?
-Eve, if you'll let me, I can --
-Look! I'm limping! How attractive is that?! What if this is for life?!
-I know first aid!
-There.
-I went to Sophie's and she was very hospitable.
-Is that what you call it?
-But it just wasn't where I wanted to be so I left as politely as I could and found a taxi. But I asked the driver to drop me here instead of at the hotel. There's a song Mister Como sings called "On the Street Where You Live." You know it?
-Sing it to me.
-Adam...dumb question, but humor me. Have you ever had sex before?
-Uh-huh. Adam?
-Yes, Eve?
-I want you to go back to the hotel now. I'll call you a cab.
-That's right. And I'll see you in the morning in the lobby. Do you mind waiting outside for the taxi?
-Not at all. And Eve thank you for tonight...and for the kiss. My first.
-My pleasure.
-It was at least as good as the sky.
-Really? Okay!
-And I think better than the ocean. I'm serious!
-Hi, Eve!
-Adam....you should go with Dr. Aron. It's the best thing. The best thing for you. I promise.
-...All right, Eve. If you say so.
-...I do.
-No.
-See! I can't tell them that! I can't ever let them know. It makes their life..well, frankly... a joke. I can't let that happen. You understand?
-We can make this work, Adam! Believe me! I'm very good at making things work!
-Is that a birthday cake?!
-Yes, it is.
-Is this because of the radiation?
-What?
-Good evening. I want to stay at this hotel.
-Fill this out please. And I'll need a card.
-A card?
-Yes, sir.
-Are you all right?
-Yes! Yes! Oh, Lord! Yes, oh, yes! But where is the one who came last night -- all in yellow?!
-All in yellow? Oh! That was my father!
-Ooooohhhh!! Of course! The father! Forgive me!! Can you forgive me for my wasted life?! Everything has been so awful!!
-I know it has been terrible. But it wasn't your fault. And now all the decay is over with and things are going to get better. You understand?
-Yes.
-I've got to go, now.
-Of course you do. I'll stay here and pray.
-That's always a good idea! Would you like some money? I have a great deal of it.
-No. I don't need money anymore -- I see that now.
-How do I leave here?
-The front door is open. Will you be back?
-I've got almost everything we need! And this nice man...
-This is what money looks like. It comes like this, in coin, or like this in paper. Or you can have an "investment." These are stock "certificates" that we bought in your name. Of course, they're worthless now, but at one time they were quite valuable.
-They're pretty. Can I have them?
-Sure. Now, let's move on to our French exam.
-Latin exam, Dad. It's Tuesday.
-You're right! It's Tuesday already! By gosh, time flies, doesn't it?!
-Tempus fugit!
-En arte voluptus. Que les bons temps roulÈ!
-Gerade aus dann links!
-Sorgen sie bitte dafur das die gepack sorgfaltic behandeldt warren!
-Haben sie etuas nettes in leder?!
-These are wonderful.
-It's my entire baseball collection. It's yours now.
-What's baseball?
-It's a game, son. I can explain it pretty easily. There's a pitcher.
-Like a painting?
-No, son. A pitcher.
-Like one of Mom's?
-Uh, no. There's a man who throws the ball -- to a man who has a bat.
-The nocturnal flying mammal?
-No, no! The runner on second goes to third! He's out there!
-Why?
-Because he's forced out at third! It's a force!
-Then why go there?
-Thank you, Mom! Thanks, Dad!
-Oh, boy! A jacket!
-Your mom made that all by herself.
-Holy Cow! What the heck are these?!
-Your roller-skates! I redesigned them! I think this new design will work even better!
-Well, do we just go on up?!
-Helen-Thomas-Webber! Maybe we have been down here a little too long! Please excuse her French.
-C'est bon, Monsieur.
-Adam...don't forget...don't forget ...
-Yes, father?! Yes?
-...the pipe tobacco.
-Also...stay out of the "Adult Bookstore."
-Adult Bookstore. Why?
-Poison gas. Invisible. Don't forget.
-I promise. Is that all?
-One more thing. If you find a healthy young woman, bring her back with you.
-But, I don't understand.
-And, I'm asking you to trust me without understanding why.
-This is great son, just great. By the way, Eve's last name. Rus-to-kov, that's not Russian, is it?
-It's Ukrainian. Her grandparents immigrated here.
-Uh-huh.
-Dad, I don't know how to tell you this. And I was going to wait a while, but I think...Dad,there was no bomb. A plane crashed into our backyard. I looked it up in old newspapers.
-You're sure?
-Positive. The Soviet Union collapsed without a shot being fired. The Cold War is over.
-That's what everybody believes?
-Yes, sir. It's true.
-What? Did the politburo just one day say - "We give up?"
-Yes. That's kind of how it was.
-My gosh, those Commies are brilliant! You've got to hand it to 'em! "No, we didn't drop any bombs! Oh yes, our evil empire has collapsed! Poor, poor us!" I bet they've even asked the West for aid! Right?!
-Uh, I think they have.
-You have very nice ceilings.
-I do? Well, thank you! You like ceilings?
-Not particularly.
-Well, I hope you like these! Fresh sea urchin wrapped in seaweed. Or "nori" if you prefer. I love sushi.
-I love Lucy!
-It's a very small place. People don't even know it's there.
-And it's called...?
-Maybe Eve can guess. She's psychic.
-Right on the button.
-That's right?
-I've never met anyone like you in my life.
-I've got goose-bumps all over me.
-Well, we try. Listen, let me just ask you a few questions. When did Alaska become a state?
-1959.
-Who use to own it?
-Russia.
-When did we get it from them?
-1867. Seward's Folly. We paid 7.2 million dollars for it. A tidy sum then, as well as now. I'm quoting my father, of course.
-What's the capitol?
-Juneau.
-Hello! It's Anchorage! Gotcha!
-This must be very new.
-Yeah.
-It's so small.
-What are you talking about? This is the new Mac. You a hacker?
-I don't think so.
-You don't have a computer in your cabin?
-No.
-How do you get through those winters? Well, you're right. Juneau. What's the highest peak?
-Mt. McKinley. It's also the highest point in North America.
-Okay, maybe she is psychic. Let's go eat!
-That would knock my father out.
-Yeah?
-Oh, yes. It would probably kill him.
-He's a Windows guy then, huh?
-Yes. He likes windows.
-Well, I think Windows stink. What do you think of that?
-...I guess it's...just a matter of personal taste.
-Not on him.
-I'm not wearing his pants.
-Why not? He has great pants.
-I just don't want to.
-Isn't it a little tiring to sit up straight like that?
-I guess a lot of those tall buildings we saw this morning are new.
-Almost all of them.
-The recovery is very impressive.
-The recovery? Oh , yeah! Hey, they rebuilt the freeway in six months.
-That's why little things mean so much to him.
-Why did you park way back there?
-Miss Rustokov refuses to let total strangers drive her car.
-What?!
-Yes! Lying is always a very effective dating tool.
-I'm sorry. I took the Lord's name in vain again, didn't I? I'm so sorry.
-Okay, Troy! Let's get those all-beef frozen patties!
-How 'bout we check with Eve first?
-You bet!
-So, did you buy a movie?
-What?
-A magazine? A toy perhaps? In the bookstore.
-No, I wouldn't go in one of those places with a gas mask on.
-I know what you mean! I usually wear a big hat and dark glasses.
-Does that work?
-Good-bye, Adam.
-Bye, Troy!
-Bye, Adam!
-And thanks for always being happy!
-You dial nine to get out.
-Of what?
-The hotel.
-Thank you. Your father is a smart guy.
-My father is a genius.
-No kiddin'. Well...good night.
-Good night! Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite! That's what my Mom always says... ...who I'm really beginning to miss. I'm sorry. It's my first night away from home.
-How old are you?
-Thirty-five.
-You don't look thirty-five.
-How old do I look?
-Twenty-five? Around there.
-I guess living up here makes people look older.
-Up here on the fifteenth floor?
-Yes. Up here on the fifteenth floor. Goodnight.
-What? What is it?!
-The sky!!!
-The sky? Where?
-Up there!!
-I don't see anything!
-Help you?
-Come on. Frozen. How much are they?
-Frozen, they're six-thirty a dozen in the three pound box.
-Then I'll need, twelve into nine hundred, seventy-five boxes. And that's almost...five hundred dollars just for the hamburger! And my Mom only gave me three thousand dollars for everything! The yacht batteries! The diesel oil! The birthday candles!
-Sure.
-Well, that's great then! Terrific...except...it just occurred to me. I don't know where I live! I'm lost! I don't know where home is! Would you excuse me?
-Whatcha looking at?
-Oh, my holy stars! A Negro!
-Say what?!
-How do you do, ma'am.
-I do alright.
-Hello.
-How--how much do you want for the Mickey Mantle, rookie season?
-I was thinking of selling all the cards.
-See, my problem is, all I have are hundred dollar bills and I need something smaller. Ones, fives, tens. Like that.
-I see what ya mean. Tell you what...I'll give you five hundred dollars in small bills for the whole box.
-Oh, that would be wonderful!
-Sir? I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't take the Lord's name in vain again.
-I didn't want to leave without saying how much I admire your jewelry.
-Oh. A nice one, I hope.
-Elbows, Son.
-Sorry, Mom!
-Dad!
-He seems to be doing all right now. I don't know if he's had a heart attack or just... a horrifying experience. But we need supplies and I've got to stay with him.
-I'm afraid you've got to.
-I'll be all right.
-I don't know how far you'll have to travel to find supplies, but if you can't get home by nightfall, I want you to look for something called a Holiday Inn. Write that down. It's a hotel. There might still be one standing.
-Right.
-I just hope this is still good up there.
-Yes?
-Oh, Adam,that would be wonderful if you could find a girl. One who's not a mutant...and hopefully comes from Pasadena. Nothing against Valley girls, but in my day anyhow, the girls from Pasadena, I don't know...always just seemed a little nicer.
-Here's the shopping list and $3,000 which should take care of everything.
-Yes, ma'am.
-Your father has a few final words for you. You know, he'd fight a buzz saw for you - he loves you so much. We both do.
-...and his church group have volunteered to help us bring the supplies down. But we've got to hurry.
-Are you in trouble, son?!
-I think I'm being chased by a psychiatrist.
-Mom? Eve and I have to go.
-What?
-We have to go.
-This is your bedroom?
-No, Mom, I've turned it into Dad's office.
-Well, where are you --
-Eve and I...eloped. We're married.
-No.
-Oh, my God!
-He'll catch him. Hi. This is Nina Aron. I've got a run away and I'm going to need police assistance.
-No! Not the police! Don't call them!
-I have to. If a complaint is made and the person resists obser--
-No, I can't have that! They'll come with their cars and their guns and their handcuffs--
-Calm down, please. This man needs help and you need protection from him. That's obvious.
-You know, I don't think so. I'm confused but you know, I don't think he'd ever hurt me. I don't think he'd hurt anyone.
-And now you must let me be the judge of that!
-I was frightened and I didn't know what to think! But you know-I believe him. I think he just wants to go home. Wherever the hell that is...
-According to Caltech, this Webber guy was a bonafide genius and a borderline nutcase.
-Well, he and Mrs. Nutcase must have been out here when the plane hit.
-Unless we get a postcard or somethin', that's my guess.
-What about relatives?
-All back East.
-The neighbors over there said the guy spent day and night out here. She'd bring him sandwiches and hot Dr. Pepper.
-He drank it hot?
-Yeah.
-Good god.
-You got a light, honey?
-What?! A light! Yes, I've got a light!
-So...you...survived the blast, did you?
-The blast? Honey, I have survived a host of things. Like the song says: "A country boy can survive!"
-Yes, yes, the song. So tell me...has it been...hell up here?
-"Hell up here?" Honey, it's been hell up here, down there and over yonder! Hell everywhere.
-Yes, I can tell that just looking around. "Boy?" Did you say you were a "country boy?"
-Cute Little Old Man, if you want a boy, I can be a boy. And if you want a girl, I can be a girl. I can be anything you want me to be!
-Really?
-Uh-huh. And it's all yours for the remarkably low price of only $200! And if you act now, I might even throw in some free lawn furniture.
-For Pete's sake, Calvin! We've got guests!
-Sorry, honey! I just got to fooling with this darn rheostat.
-Well, put it down and come in!
-I'm sorry everyone, but given this extraordinary turn of events, I think it's prudent that we cut the evening short. I'm sure this Cuban thing will resolve itself, but in the meantime...I'd suggest taking a prayerful watch-and-wait stance!
-It's time.
-It shuts off automatically.
-Did you rig it to do that? You're so clever.
-No. They all do.
-You hear that?!
-Calvin, I wish you would have at least let me do the dishes. It's not going to be that easy getting all that dried- on food off my nice plates.
-I just hope those plates aren't radioactive by tomorrow morning.
-Cheese is particularly troublesome.
-Worse than your Kraft Holiday dip?
-Oh, much worse. But not as bad as that Mexican Jumping Bean dip. You remember that?
-How long will we have to stay down here?
-I don't know. For this thing to blow over, it could take days.
-Days??
-Rather safe than sorry. That's my motto!
-But, what if I go into labor? That could happen any time.
-I've read up on it. I'll deliver the baby myself if I have to.
-Now you listen to me Calvin Webber, when this baby comes, you're going to be out in the waiting room smoking yourself to death with all the other fathers.
-Yes, dear!
-Home sweet home!
-What's that noise?
-The locks.
-The locks?
-To keep us from trying to leave. After an atomic blast there's a radiation half-life that lasts thirty five years.
-Thirty -five years!
-Then after that it's safe.
-To go up.
-Hi, honey! Feeling better?
-No.
-We have to be strong, sweetheart. If not for ourselves, for the child.
-Burnt to a crisp. I've given you the most well-done cut.
-I'm not hungry.
-Hot Dr. Pepper! Your favorite!
-No, Calvin, you're favorite.
-Maybe I've just got the creeps.
-No. No! Calvin, this is different! Believe me!
-Would you like a tranquilizer?
-You have tranquilizers?
-Oh, no.
-What?
-Uh, oh. Now it's time.
-Is there a problem?
-No, Calvin. Babies cry.
-I've noticed.
-No. I think it's just right.
-And I was wondering...if...if I could have a...
-Yes!
-If I...you know...
-Calvin?!
-Right here!
-We looked all over for you. What are you doing back here?
-Oh, I was just examining this rear hatchway.
-Why?
-No reason. Well, it's pretty clear that the front entrance caved in when the bomb went off. So, you know, when the time is up, we'll have to return to the surface using, you know, this back entrance. Which is very nice because it has the service elevator!
-Very nice. Unless it caved in, too.
-Watch this!
-Not bad for a three and a half year old! I'd like to see the public school system match that! I don't care how terrific it is!
-Yes, he's very bright, dear. Much like his father. But you know, Calvin, maybe he's a little...young for school.
-Yes, you certainly will. And you'll find a nice girl and rebuild America. Just the way it used to be.
-Oh, Calvin, I'm not sure we should be making promises that perhaps can't be kept.
-Hi, honey!
-Calvin!
-Get the presents and do the lights.
-No kidding. Who else would have done it?
-What did you wish for, Adam?
-If he tells, it won't come true!
-Oh, that's just a bunch of baloney! We never believed that in my family!
-One who doesn't glow in the dark.
-Calvin Webber! What a thing to say!
-Let's eat our cake.
-If we still have one.
-Yes...
-You know, when we do go up...I'm going to miss this old place. How 'bout you, hon?
-Would you excuse me?
-In the generator room again?
-Oh, yes. It just fascinates me how all these things work.
-Should we say a little prayer first?
-Yes, yes it is!
-It's an archaic colloquialism, roughly meaning..."good".
-I'm going to give it to you straight. There's no point in beating around the bush. There were survivors. Apparently, the fallout has created....a subspecies of mutants.
-Mutants?!
-Others are...multi-sexual. It seems...they can be both masculine and feminine...simultaneously.
-No.
-Yes.
-They've done a lot of re-building but society, at least as we knew it, has utterly collapsed. People throw up in the streets. Others point guns. There's something terribly wrong with the automobiles and...and I...I can't tell you the rest. I just can't.
-Oh my. Oh,my, oh my, oh, my. So, what do we do now?
-We stay down here.
-We do?
-Yes.
-For how long? We've just about run out of everything!
-We'll make do. I'm of the opinion that these mutants will eventually kill each other off and then--
-No, Calvin. We're not going to make do. Not me! Not Adam. We're going up no matter what! We deserve it. Even if it's terrible!
-Well, I am the head of this household--
-I want him to at least see the sky!
---and we will--
-And the ocean! A mountain range!
-He's smart.
-And Lord we ask finally that you send an angel to look after and protect our beloved son, Adam. Amen.
-How long will you set it for this time?
-I thought ten years.
-Well, that's...considerably shorter than before. I was wondering, Calvin, why set the locks at all. I mean the radiation is gone and...
-Well, please excuse us! We...we haven't entertained a guest in...um...
-Some time.
-What are you bitching about now?
-What are you doing here?
-I forgot some of my stuff.
-You came back for these?
-Hey, they're Ralph Laurens. And who's this interesting looking fellow?
-Go home, Cliff, wherever that might be.
-So where is your roommate, the model?
-Go home, Adam. Go to your hotel.
-Stop it, you two!
-Eve! This guy is un-be-liev-able!
-I knew you'd like him.
-So, Adam...where on earth are you from?
-Since that guy rear-ended me in Palm Springs.
-Oh, yes.
-Give me your hand.
-But first, you have to start with the clothes!
-I don't know.
-You're serious, aren't you?
-What's that supposed to mean?
-It means that your taste in men's apparel is as bad as your taste in men.
-Well, that's blunt!
-I'm sorry. But if the shoe fits.
-And I suppose you see him in some sort of strapless thing, don't you?
-I see "elegant."
-Yeah? Like Ralph Lauren?
-Alright, I will.
-I'm busy tomorrow anyway. I have to buy six thousand paper napkins.
-Well, what do you think?
-I think...it...works.
-How 'bout it, Eve? Can he skate around your block?
-That water's freezing!
-Just be yourself.
-Always good advice.
-Are you kidding?! You wouldn't even be a crumb on her table! You don't see that?!
-Eve?!
-Well, I'm trying to educate him! It's nothing personal.
-Um... Eve?
-Go to the bathroom.
-He go back to the hotel?
-What's that mean?
-We did not leave together.
-What's it to you?!
-I'm his pimp. He left with the dancers, didn't he?
-Hey, you're the psychic. Eve, the psychic pimp. You tell me.
-Those sluts!
-Where are you going?
-To bed.
-To bed?
-Yeah. I'm not the one who's in love with the guy.
-In the first place, I don't fall in love with weirdos I've only known for four or five days.
-Yes, you do.
-And I don't fall in love with grown men who collect baseball cards!!
-Uh, yes, you do.
-Or pee in their pants when they see the ocean!
-Yes, you do!
-Or have perfect table manners.
-You know, I asked him about that. And he said that good manners are a way we have of showing other people that we respect them. See, you'd eat like a slob if you were alone, but since another human being is present, you show that person respect by going to the trouble of having proper manners. I didn't know that. I thought it
-What?
-He thinks that I am a gentleman and that you are a lady!
-Well, consider the source. I don't even know what a lady is.
-Exactly! I thought a gentleman was somebody who owned horses. Turns out, the short and very simple definition of a gentleman or a lady is: someone who always attempts to make the people around him or her feel as comfortable as possible. That's it! If you don't do that, nothing else matters. The cars, the clothes, the houses...
-Where did he get all that information?
-From the oddest place. His parent's told him. I don't think I got that memo.
-So now I suppose he's trying to make those two dancers feel as comfortable as possible.
-He didn't leave with them.
-Well...I admit it. I'm glad to hear that.
-He left with Sophie.
-What?!!
-It's true. She swept him out the door whispering little French things into his ear.
-What are you going to do? Go over to her place and kick in the door?
-I don't think so.
-Well what was I supposed to do?! He wants me to live underground with him! That's like Silence of the Lambs, don't you think?!
-Oh, no!
-Gay.
-Good God...you don't think there really is a bomb shelter, do you?
-What do you want to do with it?
-Give it back to him.
-And if we can't find him?
-What's wrong?
-I don't know. Everything's so neat. It's all just so...goddamn dear. Damn!
-Millions upon millions upon millions! The cards. The stock! The clothes! The toothpaste! The guy was on the level! And you blew it! A man walks into your life who is the kindest, most polite, honest, trustworthy, incredibly rich guy you have ever met in your life!! And what do you do?!
-Have him committed.
-Yeah! That's thinking.
-He was always so "nice"! How was I supposed to know that's a good thing?! "Nice" is weird! Nice is...what is "nice"? It's not cool! I'll tell you that. Was it ever?
-I don't know. I like to think so.
-Well, at least I fell for him before I found out he was rich! That's new. Wait a minute! He said today he knew where home was. What happened this morning?! Where did you go?!
-To get some frozen poultry.
-Then what?
-We came back to the house!
-You didn't stop anywhere else?!
-No. No, wait a minute. We stopped at a porno store.
-What?!
-An adult bookstore. He was very excited about seeing it. You think home is under a dirty bookstore in the Valley?
-Why would you put a fallout shelter under a porno shop?
-None of this stuff was here in 1962. The Valley was mostly small homes and fruit orchards.
-Well, we've come a long way, haven't we? I want to go home.
-Adam!!
-Where?!
-I'm going to need two more banana- splits and a cherry coke!
-I can't tell the boys from the girls anymore!
-I miss those nice flower-power kids. How 'bout you?
-I'm selling this place. I want out of this hell hole!
-Could I, like...oh, wow...like,uh...
-Buy it from me?
-Yeah! Yeah, that's it!
-Tower. Wolf One. I've got a problem here.
-Say your problem, Wolf One. Are you declaring an emergency?
-Wolf One -- say intentions.
-I've got secondaries of an engine fire and I'll need to find a clear area to eject.
-Tower, say again!!
-The SAR HELO is airborne with you in sight.
-I'm marking the 180 radial for five and ejecting.
-I sent a trunk home yesterday. This is all I have.
-You look good, Jeffrey. Did you have a nice flight?
-I think it's important not to get depressed. Depression is a terrible thing. They say it can bring on illness.
-Jeffrey, you're not going down by Lincoln, are you?
-Doctor Gynde, my whole family's sick. What's going on?
-Will you tell Mom when she gets home from the hospital that I've gone to dinner at Sandy Williams' house?
-Okay honey. That sounds nice. Jeffrey. I think you've got termites in the house.
-Oh yeah? Have you seen any?
-I've seen a few.
-Well, I haven't seen any. I wouldn't worry about it. Look, I better go.
-I don't want to talk about it. Everything's okay now. I don't want to talk about it.
-Sometimes it helps to talk things over. For instance, many marriages are saved by.
-Frank. Come in.
-Hey, I brought some friends. And some beer.
-Suave. Goddam are you suave, you fucker. You want some beer?
-Shit Ben! How the shit are ya?
-Fine Frank. Fine. How are you?
-Fuckin' good, real fuckin' good. You know this little tid bit, Dorothy, and this thing, here, is a neighbor. What the shit we're doin' with a neighbor, I don't know. Goddam!!! This is the suavest guy I know. Look at you. You're one beautiful fucker, Ben. I love this jacket and that cigarette holder of yours. Shit, that is too fuckin' much. Where's those
-To your health, Frank.
-Shit. Let's drink to something else. Let's drink to fuckin'. Say here's to your fuck Frank.
-Frank, I have something for you. Excuse us everyone.
-See you Tuesday, Frank.
-Are you Detective Williams?
-Yes.
-My name is Jeffrey Beaumont - I live near you. I believe you know my father, Tom Beaumont - Beaumont's Hardware Store?
-Sure I do. I understand he's in the hospital. How is he?
-He's alright, I guess. I hope. They're doing tests, that's why I'm home from school. I was over at the hospital this morning and I was going home and in the field behind our neighborhood. There behind Vista, I found an ear.
-You did? A human ear?
-Yeah. I've got it here in this bag. I thought I should bring it to you.
-By the way, Jeffrey, this story isn't going to the press and I'm going to ask you to consider all you've heard strictly confidential. Do not discuss this business with anyone, but me, or other police personnel. Got it?
-Got it. Thanks for letting me in on as much as you did.
-Come into the study a minute.
-Detective Williams here. Yeah. Tell him to go to Sergeant Milton. Yeah, copy. Well, Jeffrey, you found something which is very interesting to us. Very interesting. I know you must be curious to know more. But. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you not only not to tell anyone about your find, but also not to ask more about the case. One
-I understand. I'm just real curious like you said.
-I was the same way when I was your age. I guess that's what got me into this business.
-It must be great.
-Jeffrey?
-Yes?
-These are beautiful. How's the case coming?
-Okay.
-Anything you can tell me?
-The criminals are winning.
-Is that why you say it's horrible?
-Yes.
-I guess you've seen some bad things.
-Yes I have - so bad I wouldn't poison your mind by telling you.
-Why do you do it?
-I won't let the bastards get me up against the wall. It's an act of defiance.
-What is this? What color is it?
-What color is it?
-Jeffrey! Come on in.
-Hi. Hi Sandy. I'm sorry to bother you, but I've got to talk to you.
-Okay, come on in. Looks like you had a bad face lift.
-Okay?
-And that man came out with a third man - this well-dressed guy. Here's the photo. I think a girl named Dorothy Vallens is in trouble with these people. I think Frank has taken her husband and her son.
-I have no hard proof of any of this. Her address is also on the photos. I think these people are involved with drugs, and murder. I think Frank is killing drug dealers and... ...and somehow Frank is getting all their drugs. I had to tell you I got slightly more involved in this than you wanted me to, but it's over now for
-Well now Jeffrey, how did you come to get so involved?
-I can't tell you the whole story. I. I took it upon myself. I can't say more.
-Is Sandy part of this?
-No, not at all.
-Who knows you have these?
-Only you and the photo lab.
-You're all through with this now?
-For now. Alright, you better be. And Sandy better not be involved with this, I can tell you. Be prepared to come in for further interrogation on this later.
-Detective Williams!! Detective Williams!!
-Detective Williams here. Is that you, Jeffrey?
-Yes it's me!!! Frank is on his way up to Dorothy's apartment. Oh no. Frank has a radio and is hearing everything we say!! Detective Williams. Hurry. I'm in the apartment. Hurry. I'm hiding in the back bedroom.
-Because of your information I alerted internal affairs to check out Detective Gordon. I had to keep on with him as if nothing was different. He slipped off on his own when he found out we were going to raid Frank's place.
-Does Dorothy know her husband is dead?
-Not yet.
-Yes? What is it?
-Pest control, gotta do your apartment.
-Oh God, that stuff stinks.
-Nope, it's new stuff. No smell.
-That oughta do it.
-GET OUT OF THERE!!! GET OUT!!! Put your hands up, on your head. GO ON!!! Get down on your knees - DO IT!! What are you doing? Who are you? What's your name? WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
-Jeffrey.
-Jeffrey. Jeffrey what?
-Jeffrey nothing.
-You tell me!! Let me see that wallet. Jeffrey Beaumont. What're you doing in my apartment, Jeffrey Beaumont?
-I wanted to see you.
-What? Are you kidding me? Who sent you here?
-Nobody.
-Shit. You better tell me something.
-I was an experiment. Just to see if I could do it.
-An experiment? Hey, I've seen you before.
-I sprayed your apartment. I took your key. I really didn't mean to do anything but see you.
-Tell me what you saw tonight. TELL ME.
-I saw you come in, talk on the phone. Get undressed.
-The phone. What did you hear on the phone. Tell me. Word for word.
-That's right. That's what I said. You have a good memory. Then what?
-Well.
-THEN WHAT?
-Then you got undressed.
-How many times have you sneaked into girls' apartments and watched them undress?
-Never before this.
-How'd you like it if someone sneaked into your house and watched you. Get undressed. I want to see you.
-No. Come on.
-NO, you come on. Take off your pants. I want to see you.
-Look. I'm sorry. Just let me leave.
-What do you want from me?
-I, I don't know.
-Do you like that?
-Do you like talk like that?
-No.
-Don't. I don't like that. What do you want?
-Nothing. Are you alright?
-Sure I'm alright.
-Don?
-No.
-Thank you. honey.
-Do you like the way I feel?
-Yes.
-Yes.
-See my nipples?
-Yes.
-You can hit me, if you want to.
-Do you like me?
-Yes, I like you.
-I made it go down the toilet.
-Next Christmas. Is he Santa Claus who has left a present for Dorothy? What was it? An ear? Another ear?!! What was it?
-Do you know?
-No.
-You don't?
-No. What is happening?
-Maybe you don't know. I know you though. You're Jeffrey Beaumont and I know where you live and I know ways to get you and I know ways to kill you.
-Please don't talk like that. You're upset. I'm not helping you. I'm sorry for what I did. I better go.
-Go then. I can't let you put it in me now but I want you. I like you.
-Then don't talk about killing.
-Did I say that? I didn't mean it, or did I? Sometimes I think it would be fun. Go ahead, you better leave now. I can't open myself to you now. I'll tell you a little secret. I want to die.
-Don't say that.
-It's a secret so don't tell anyone. Some day I'll show you where. I've gotta go to sleep now.
-Hi, can I come in?
-Why are you here. Whatiya want?
-I, uh.
-I looked for you in my closet tonight. It's crazy, I don't know where you came from, but I like you.
-I liked being with you last night.
-Oh shit.
-Frank? Can you stand up?
-Nice guy. Who's he?
-Oh God. Don!!! Why can't I just die.
-There you go again. Stop saying that. You can make it.
-I can't. I can't. You think you know so much.
-Look.
-No.
-Falling.
-Who is Don?
-Don? Are you in with them?
-No. But you're in very big trouble.
-Why are you so interested? Why do you keep asking me?
-I came back to help you. You said do I let girls sneak into my house. You know where I live. If you need to, come to where I live, OK?
-Who are you? Maybe I'll need to. You like me, huh?
-Yes.
-Or do you just want me? I'm going to let you enter me now.
-No. I should go.
-Come in.
-It used to make me laugh, but.
-I'm sorry, maybe I better go Dorothy.
-Yes. Frank--
-Frank is coming?
-No. How could he? Don't go. You think I'm crazy, don't you? I want you to stay. Don't hate me.
-I sure don't hate you.
-I'm not crazy. I know the difference between right and wrong.
-Do you like my body?
-What do you want to do?
-I'm doing it.
-Are you a bad boy?
-Whatiya mean?
-Do you want to do bad things? Anything, anything.
-What do you want?
-I want you to hurt me.
-No. I told you. I don't want to hurt you. I want to help you. I think I know some of what is happening to you. Dorothy? Frank has your husband and son. Dorothy? Doesn't he? You have to do something Dorothy. Go to the police.
-You like to open me, don't you?
-Yes.
-That wouldn't be too good, would it?
-Frank would open you.
-Okay. I know you've been scared. Now you want to scare someone.
-Does that scare you?
-Shut up.
-Beeeee careful.
-Come on Dorothy.
-Look, snap out of it, will ya?
-Do you love me?
-Do you love me?
-I asked first.
-Sometimes I think I do.
-Wait a minute. Wait. Whatiya want? For cryin' out loud!
-I love you Don with all my heart.
-I didn't mean to hurt you.
-Shhhhhh. Now I have your disease.
-You what?
-You put your disease in me. Your semen. It's hot and full of disease.
-There's no disease, I can tell you.
-Men are crazy. Then they put their craziness into me. Then it makes me crazy. Then they aren't so crazy for awhile. Then they put their craziness in me again. It's burning me, but I love you. I do, I do. Did you know that? Did you know that I love you?
-I'm glad you do.
-There's so much I want to tell you. I'm in so much darkness though with things moving. There is darkness sucking me. It's kissing me and darkness is entering me. In every hole. It's opening me to a death.
-Dorothy. No!
-If I die, then they'll be free. It's getting late, isn't it? I can tell, it's a cold feeling when it's late. It's warm then it gets cold. Jeffrey. I feel it getting cold.
-You called me Jeffrey.
-I did. Are you?
-Yes.
-Why are you here? HMMMMMMMM!!!! OK.
-I guess I should go.
-I want you to stay with me.
-I'll call you.
-Okay. Soon? Do you think I'm too fat?
-What?
-I'm getting a little bit fat. I hate that.
-Oh no.
-Yeah, it's me.
-Where have you been? Oh God, they hurt him, Jeffrey. Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, hold me. HOLD ME. Oh God.
-It's okay. It's okay.
-They hurt his head.
-Who, Dorothy?
-Hold me, Don.
-Don? Where is he?
-HELP HIM!! Promise me you'll help him!
-I promise, Dorothy. I promise.
-Frank gone?
-Yeah, but get outta here. He's comin' back.
-Bull.
-Alright, suit yourself.
-He's comin' back? What for?
-'Cause he's comin' back, that's what for. Frank's got you really loaded tonight.
-Yeah, maybe so. Frank's got me, and you and really it's all thanks to Don, isn't it. Remember that. Your husband was the one who started fucking my mind with drugs.
-Oh he forced you, huh?
-He's the reformed dealer though who wanted to turn himself in. He's the one that caused Frank to come and Frank's fucking us real good. I just feel so horny. I'm supposed to be here watching you why can't I be here fucking you. Listen. I know his cock's the size of a pin - let me give you the real thing. Let me
-No way, get out. I'm gonna tell Frank. I'm gonna tell him what you said.
-Hello, baby.
-Shut up. It's daddy, shit-head.
-Hello, daddy.
-MOMMY!
-Mommy's here.
-Who's this fuck?
-He's a friend. From the neighborhood. We were just talking.
-Where are we going, Frank?
-Hey Tits, I'm taking your neighbor to the country. Maybe something for you too.
-Frank?
-You want to see him too, right?
-Yes, but.
-Look at these. What are these?
-Don't say PLEASE, Fuckhead. WHAT ARE THESE?
-Those are my breasts.
-Can I feel 'em?
-Frank, he didn't mean it. Leave him alone. Come on. He didn't mean it.
-We're looking for him. In your opinion, why did Frank kidnap Dorothy's son and husband?
-He became obsessed with her. She hated him. He had to have her. He kidnapped them to control her. To make her do things. Then she wanted to commit suicide so he started cutting off ears as a warning to her to stay alive. I'm not kidding. Frank loved blue, blue velvet. He had to have Dorothy cause her whole life was blue.
-You seemed to see some very interesting things on your little escapade with Dorothy Vallens.
-Yeah. I guess I did. What's going to happen to me?
-We're going to leave that up to Detective Williams. I'll tell you though, you're okay. You shot a real son of a bitch.
-Hello?
-No thanks.
-No thanks. What does that mean?
-I don't want to go.
-Go where?
-On a ride.
-Heineken.
-Hey neighbor. Here's to Ben.
-Here's to Ben.
-Hey? You like to walk.
-What?
-What are you lookin' at?
-Nothing.
-Don't be a good neighbor to her or I'm gonna send you a love letter. Straight from my heart, fucker. You know what a love letter is? It's a bullet, straight from my gun, fucker. Once you get a love letter from me, you're fucked forever. Understand, Fuck?
-Yes.
-Come on. I wancha to meet a frienda mine. Raymond, get enough beer for Ben too.
-Okay Frank.
-Raymond! Where's the fuckin' beer?
-Right here Frank. You want me to pour it?
-No, I want ya to fuck it. Shit, yes, pour the fuckin' beer.
-There ya go.
-I mean, for good, Jeffrey.
-For good? I can't Mom. Not right in the middle of the term.
-Jeffrey, honey. Your father's condition is serious. It's going to cost so much. We just won't have the money to keep you in school. I'm telling you this now, so that you can get your things together and check out of school, honey, or whatever you have to do, it'll save you another trip back. You're going to have to work at the store.
-Where's all your things, Jeffrey?
-Jeffrey, breakfast is ready.
-What time are visiting hours?
-I've made arrangements with Dr. Gynde for 10:30. But Jeffrey, you'll have to walk over; I need the car this morning.
-Well. Okay.
-Jeffrey, when you see your father.
-Yeah?
-He doesn't know you're out of school. He thinks it's a vacation for you.
-What?
-It would be too much for him. So please let him think as he does, that you're home just to see him.
-Thanks a lot, Mom.
-I'm going out for awhile.
-Do you want the car?
-No, I'm just gonna walk around.
-Can I use the car tonight?
-God, you scared me.
-Is something wrong? What's happened to your face?
-Nothing. I'm fine.
-Hello, uh, my name is Jeffrey Beaumont. Is Detective Williams in?
-Oh, yes, Jeffrey. Come in. He'll be back any minute now. You're welcome to wait. Is it urgent?
-I just wanted to ask him a few questions, that's all. Maybe I better go.
-Really, he'll be home soon, would you like a cup of coffee?
-I was sorry to hear about your father. I know your mother from church. It's such a shame.
-Yeah, I know.
-Would you like a piece of cake?
-No. No thank you.
-It's a real good chocolate cake. Duncan Hines' devil's food. Real good.
-He comes over to study.
-Mrs. Williams? Thanks for the cake.
-Oh, you're welcome. Nice to finally meet you, Jeffrey.
-Here you are. Would anyone like coffee?
-That sounds great!
-Please excuse me a moment, Jeffrey, and I'll get to the dishes.
-Sure thing, please don't worry about me. Can I help you with the dishes?
-Sandy?... Sandy, please.
-No.
-Looks like you'd make a good runner.
-Well.
-No, you're right.
-I mean, some guys play anyway but they usually get slaughtered.
-Yeah, well I never wanted to get slaughtered much.
-Hey, you ivy league shit. COME HERE!
-Hi Dad.
-Looks like they've got you strapped in pretty good.
-Uh-uh.
-Are you feeling okay?
-Good to see you, son.
-How ya doin' Dad?
-Hey Jeff. I'm feelin' so much better.
-Yeah, how did you know?
-Oh yeah?
-You were pretty popular. Didn't you run for some office?
-Yeah I did, treasurer. Shouldn't you be studying or something.
-Am I bothering you?
-No. You're not bothering me. You a senior?
-Yes.
-How is Central these days?
-Terrible boring.
-What else is new? Right?
-Yeah. What are you doing now?
-I'm home from school. My father's in the hospital.
-That's too bad.
-What do you know about the ear? Anything?
-Didn't my father tell you not to talk about it?
-Come on, you brought it up. Do you know anything?
-I don't really know much but bits and pieces. I hear things. My room is right above my father's office. The ear, there's no corpse in the morgue missing an ear, and it did come off a living person. That's direct from the Coroner's Office. The person is unknown. There are a couple of cases I get mixed up on, but I think there
-Do you know who was brought in for questioning?
-There were at least three, maybe four. But a name that keeps coming up is this woman who lives in an apartment building very close to your house and also close to the field where you found the ear. There's also a business man over by the Franklin factory district that was questioned. And a musician. And some others.
-Were all these people questioned this afternoon?
-No, this has been going on for some time. Several months. About six months ago some parts of bodies were found down by the river. They were from people who were reported missing. They never found one complete body, only parts.
-The ear is from a missing person maybe?
-Maybe so.
-It's a strange world isn't it? Do you know what building the woman lives in?
-Yeah. It's close by, that's what's creepy. They've had her under surveillance for a couple of months, except I don't know what they've found out because my father isn't in charge of her.
-I guess you have to get back home soon?
-That's the building. She lives on the Seventh Floor. Don't stop to look long, the police are watching.
-Where are they?
-Did they find out anything when they questioned her?
-I don't know, like I said, she's not my father's case.
-Oh yeah. What about those other people? Anything?
-My father is watching the businessman. The businessman had a partner who disappeared. Left his whole business and family, his wife and two kids. They think he's been murdered.
-You really do hear a lot, don't you?
-Yeah, I guess so. What are you going to do now that you're home?
-I have to help out in my father's hardware store. They're giving me sort of my own hours for a while, which is nice.
-Still, it must be kinda rough.
-What happened to him?
-I've gotta go in.
-I guess I'll see you sometime.
-I guess so. Like you said. It's a strange world.
-You hungry or thirsty, or both?
-I don't know.
-I'd like to talk to you about something.
-I don't want to cause any trouble.
-I'm here, aren't I?
-I guess Mike's got some sort of sports practice in the afternoon.
-Alright, now tell me. What is it?
-There are opportunities in life for gaining knowledge and experience. Sometimes, in some cases, it's necessary to take a risk. I got to thinking. I'll bet a person could learn a lot by getting into that woman's apartment, you know, sneak in and hide and observe.
-You said it was a strange world. And you're the strangest part of it. Are you crazy? She is possibly involved in murder. This gives me the creeps.
-Settle down. I have a plan which I think will work. There is very little for you to do, but I do need your help. Aren't you curious about my plan?
-It wouldn't hurt to hear the plan, I guess.
-Alright. the first thing is to get into her apartment and open a window that I could crawl into later.
-Now, how are you going to do that?
-Right out in the car I happen to have some old overalls and a bug spraying rig. I will go to her apartment and be the pest control man. I will spray her apartment. After a few minutes you will knock on her door, drawing her attention away from me and I will then jimmy a window.
-What will I say when she comes to the door?
-You will be a Jehovah's Witness. I have a few "Awake" magazines for you. You don't have to keep her very long. A few seconds is all I'll need. Whatiya think?
-I don't know, it sounds like a good daydream, but actually doing it is too weird. Too dangerous.
-Let's just try the first part. If that goes well, we'll see about the rest. No one will suspect us, because no one would believe two people like us would be crazy enough to do something like this.
-Now, we'll walk over so there's no license plates and you give me at least three minutes. I can stall if it's more, but I need time to find a good window, alright?
-Alright.
-Okay, I'm going ahead. Wait a minute, what's her name?
-Oh brother. Dorothy Vallens, Seventh Floor. Look on the mailbox for her number, bright boy.
-Thanks. Dorothy Vallens. Okay, goodluck. Three minutes, no sooner.
-Are you alright?
-I was just about to go to the door, when that man did my job for me. Was it alright?
-Yes and no. Did you recognize him?
-No. I only saw his back. He went down another stairwell at the end of the hall.
-I didn't get a good look at him either, but he sure looked at me. I didn't have time to get a window, but I found this key. Pretty nifty, huh?
-Yeah, if it opens the door.
-So, what's next?
-Pretty clever. Are you game for more?
-I owe you, since I goofed up this one.
-You didn't goof it up, but you still owe me one. I want to sneak in tonight. It's Friday, do you have a date tonight?
-Yes. I do.
-You really want to do this, don't you?
-I'll tell Mike I'm sick. There's a game tonight anyway and he'll never miss me. Afterwards he can go out with the guys. Just so the record is kept straight though, I love Mike. What do want me to do?
-First of all, we'll have a nice dinner. Try to find out where Dorothy sings.
-I already know. The "Slow Club". It's on Route 7.
-Great. I'll pick you up around eight o'clock. Is that good?
-Yeah, but don't pick me up. My father may think it's strange. I'll walk over to your house. I'll be there at eight o'clock.
-What's the plan.
-First of all, we're going to the Slow Club to see Dorothy Vallens. We'll watch her for awhile. I'd like to hear her sing anyway, and then also we'll know she is there and not in her apartment.
-Brilliant.
-Then we'll drive back to her apartment and I will plant myself there.
-That sounds good.
-Here's to. An interesting experience.
-Jeffrey, I don't think you ought to do it.
-Why not?
-It's crazy and dangerous. My God, I shouldn't have told you.
-It'll be okay. I don't think you should wait out here though. I think you should go home. Can you drive this car?
-Yeah, but.
-Leave it in the front of your house for me, okay?
-OK.
-Could you wait a little while, this key may not fit.
-I wish you wouldn't do this. It doesn't make any sense. Let's go somewhere and have some coffee.
-I'm going in, Sandy. I'll see you tomorrow and tell you how it went.
-I, I don't want to see you tomorrow. Mike's coming over.
-Oh, okay, can I call?
-Okay, yeah, call.
-Look, it can wait till Sunday.
-Call tomorrow. It's okay. Good luck. I hope you can sneak out okay. You're going to wait until she's asleep?
-Yeah.
-I'm going to wait here until she comes.
-Are you sure?
-Okay, thanks.
-I don't know if you're a detective or a pervert.
-That's for me to know and for you to find out. I'll see you. I mean call you, okay?
-Well, how did it go? What happened?
-Well, I've found out some things, nothing really for certain. There are some strange people involved.
-What did you see?
-What's with Mike?
-He got a little jealous.
-I'm sorry, I didn't...
-You want a Dairy Queen?
-You want to tell me about it?
-OK. It's a strange world, Sandy. This is what I have found out. What I think I have found out. Dorothy Vallens is married to a man named Don. They have a son. I think the son and the husband have been kidnapped by a man named Frank who has now cut off both of Don's ears. I think he is holding them to
-Wow. Should you tell my father?
-I don't see how I can, and I can't prove any of this. I got all this information illegally. Also it could get you in trouble.
-You saw a lot in one night.
-Actually. I've been in twice.
-Twice. Without her sensing anything?
-Yes.
-Did you see her undressed?
-Yeah. I mean a little, you know.
-Yeah?
-That doesn't bother you, does it?
-Who, me? Why should it?
-That's what I thought.
-You're sure right. It is a strange world.
-Why are there people like Frank. Why is there so much trouble in this world?
-I don't know. I had a dream. In fact, the night I met you. In the dream the world was dark because there weren't any robins. You know, birds. Robins stood for love, and all of a sudden thousands of robins flew down and brought this blinding light of love. And it felt like that love would be the only thing that would make
-Yeah I guess so. You're a neat girl.
-So are you. I mean you're a neat guy. We better get back.
-No, silly - I'm still in school you know. But I'll meet you after school and you can tell me what you've learned. You better be careful, Jeffrey.
-Okay, be careful.
-Can I give you a kiss good night?
-You better not, Jeffrey.
-Okay, okay.
-Goodnight.
-You were late.
-I'm really sorry.
-What am I going to do?
-You want to go talk to him?
-You know, that cheese is practically all chemicals.
-That's what makes it so good. You wanta hear what I saw today?
-Shoot.
-Number one. I saw the Yellow Man go into Frank's building, laughing with Frank. Now, the only trouble is, what does this prove?
-Nothing really, but it's interesting. They know each other. They seem to like each other.
-Maybe. But I think the Yellow Man is on drugs. I think Frank supplies him.
-Oh yeah?
-Number two. I saw the Yellow Man come out. This time with a well- dressed man with an alligator briefcase. They drove down this factory building and stood on a staircase looking at something in the distance. Number three. Now get this. In the distance was a murder. A drug dealer shot to death and a woman with her legs broken.
-Jeffrey!!
-Then these guys told me the police will find a huge amount of drugs inside the dead man's place.
-I can't believe what you are finding out. Are you going to continue with this. Are you going back to her apartment?
-Yeah.
-Jeffrey? Why?
-I'm seeing something that was always hidden. I'm involved in a mystery. I'm learning. And it's all secret.
-You like mysteries that much?
-You worry about me really?
-Great. Hey, I've got a bit of a problem. I know some things that could help your father but you might get into trouble.
-Jeffrey, are they important things? Well forget me - you have to tell him. Jeffrey, I mean it.
-Everything okay?
-Yeah. I think so. I just had to tell him some of what I knew. Is Friday still on?
-You didn't tell him about me?
-I should never had gotten you going on this. Yes Jeffrey. Friday's on!
-Okay.
-What is it?
-What was that all about?
-Nothing, really! It's good to see you.
-It's good to see you.
-Where to?
-Just go over to Gelford and up to Vista. It's not far. Can you tell me any more about what you learned?
-I'd rather not talk about it. I'll tell you about it sometime.
-It's okay.
-You look beautiful.
-Thank you. Whatiya say we just enjoy the evening?
-You want to dance?
-I can't dance fast.
-Really?
-Really. You want to dance with someone else?
-NO.
-Let's wait for some slow one.
-You want to dance?
-Oh my God. What's wrong?
-My father has a gun at home.
-No.
-Dorothy!... Dorothy!
-Dorothy Vallens?
-Take her to my house. My dad can get an ambulance faster than anyone. Do you have anything to put around her?
-No. Is Detective Gordon going to be at your house?
-Probably not. No. Why?
-Okay. Let's get her over to your father's.
-Jeffrey? What's going on?
-I should go with her, Sandy.
-Go ahead.
-Sandy?
-Please get to your father and send him and the police to Dorothy's apartment right away. Be sure your father comes. Something is happening over there. They're hurting someone, the guy she loves. Tell them to hurry. I'm going over right now.
-No Jeffrey!!
-Look Jeffrey.
-Mike's gotta go. Nice to meet you.
-What are watchin' this junk for?
-You can change it if you want to.
-I don't know why we have to watch TV.
-Sandy? Could I talk to you a minute?
-Come on out a minute, okay?
-Hey come here, you stole my girl, you bastard. I'm gonna kick your ass, right in front of your stupid house.
-Stop it Mike.
-What did he bring him in for?
-Needed an outsider. The package boy knows everyone. He'd spot our hitters a mile away.
-Just for him?
-Well he's the one shooting up all his guys, right? He's scared of the kid. Says he's real good, got every available gun in the city up there.
-Up where?
-Up his house. I don't know what's going on but I know it's gotta have something to do with this kid.
-Fuck you.
-Hey, Augustus, I need your help, I got a serious problem here. I'm not screwing around.
-Hey, I just...
-Don't start with your shit. Don't you talk to me. Oh, hey Uncle Gussy, thanks for years of service. Here's a gold watch and a job sniffing other guys' shit eight hours a day. What am I, a retired bus driver?
-I need Il Duce.
-The Duke? What did you do?
-Listen kid, I think you better understand who you're dealing with here.
-Yeah. I was only twelve or thirteen when you guys used to talk about him, like he was a ghost or something.
-There's ways around that.
-Lord's name.
-Mother Mary, full of grace.
-Well listen, I know how my boys take ta scrappin' when they take ta drinkin'.
-Yes mother.
-Are ya ready?
-Yes sir.
-Paraffin came up positive. And bullet holes are usually a big clue.
-I can't find the second one, sir.
-Look under the body.
-Are these me considered armed and dangerous?
-Look, look! I'm not saying one way or the other. Just be careful and go by the protocol on this one.
-Any tips on where these guys may be?
-Ah, Agent Smecker, we have a problem.
-What?
-The press is everywhere outside. They're going nuts for these guys. What do you want to do?
-Oh, God! Don't kill me! We're on the same side! The boss musta sent you in as back up, huh? Oh, shit, please! I'm Rocco. I'm the funny man. They call me the funny fuckin' man!
-Where's your gun?
-Chest pocket. Shit!
-Poppa Joe said there was only two. In and out. Boy, you guys sure did a good job. You're good, huh? Cool masks. Where'd you get them?
-What did you do?! Fuckin'... what the fuckin' fuck! Who the fuck, fucked this fuckin'? fuck. How did you two fuckin', fucks?......... FUCK!!!
-What the fuck are you doing here? What, huh!? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? ANSWERS! I WANT FUCKIN' ANSWERS!
-Anybody you think is evil?
-Yes.
-Don't you think that's a little psycho? A little weird?
-Climb the corporate ladder, boy. Don Rocco.
-Donna's gonna be angry about her cat.
-Shit. She's on every drug know to man. She'd have sold that thing for a dime bag. Screw her. But I do kinda feel like an ass-hole.
-She ain't been around in weeks anyhow.
-Listen. Something's been bothering me about last night.
-What?
-Well... what if your boss knew how many guys were supposed to be there... in that room?
-What are you saying?
-Think about it man. Nine men, six bullets.
-You think they sold me out? No way.
-He probably knew you'd end up nailing the fat guy, maybe one or two more, but he had to know you weren't walking out of there. Figure it out. Shooter's dead on the scene. No in-depth investigation. It'd slide right off his back. 'Cause as much as I love ya, you're not exactly Don Corleone. What would he be losing? A thirty- five year
-No, no. That's just not the way things are done. Besides, how's he know I don't just get in there see there's too many and just serve em their fuckin' food and beat it?
-He knows you, man. He knows all you want is to move up. That's all. A smooth hitter woulda gone in there, seen it was a wash and slipped out. But a guy like you? Knowin' this is your only chance? Waitin' eighteen years?
-No. No man. That's... that's... you don't know what you're talking about. That's bullshit. I know these guys. I mean, thanks for your concern, but that just ain't the thing of it.
-Do me a favor and roll it around for a bit on your way in.
-Pack your shit! We gotta get outta here! We gotta get out!
-What happened?
-What did I fuckin' do?... in the middle of the Lakeview.
-Anybody see ya?
-Yeah, well...
-I guess we really don't have a system of deciding who.
-What the fuck are you doing?
-What? What is it?
-Oh man. You gotta let me do these guys. I'm such a moron. I gotta make up for the tit thing.
-No way. I've been waitin' for this asshole.
-You guys gotta teach me that prayer, man. That's some good shit.
-Forget it. It's a family prayer. My father, his father before him that sort of shit.
-Who the fuck was he, Rocco? I know you fuckin' know!
-Look again for fuck sake!
-Shit.
-They got nothing.
-You little fuck. Let him go. I'll drop you right here.
-Okay, just calm down. He could hurt us, brother. He could ruin the whole thing.
-Let him go or I will deliver you, right now.
-You guys?
-We're here brother.
-Hello.
-Mother, is that you?
-Is that worthless brother of your there? I want you both ta hear this.
-It's all your fault. Both you little bastards. I was a fool to believe you would bring me any peace. The day your Da left us when you were almost too young to remember, he said the two of you would do me right and make me proud, but he was wrong and I got nothin' ta live for.
-I finally found your Da's army revolver, Connor.
-What?! What are you doin'?
-I want ta tell ya one last thing before I pull the trigger.
-No ma! No!
-How's Uncle Sibeal?
-Well, we tried ta make friends and she gave me a shot ta the nuts.
-What... the dirty bitch! I hope ya trounced her a good one!
-Yeah, we promise.
-Still bickerin' over that, huh?
-Come on, ma. Out with it. Who came out first?
-You guys are not under oath, here. I am assuming you knew these two guys from before, huh?
-We... met them last night.
-So, how is it that you guys are fluent in Russian?
-We paid attention in school.
-Well, we could try the bag over the head thing. Walk you right out the front.
-Well, the light caught the side of his face for a second. And it looked like he had a gray beard, maybe... late fifties, early sixties.
-So you're telling me it was one guy with six guns? A-and he was a senior fucking citizen?
-I think it's better if we find this man before he finds us again.
-I'll see what I can do. How do I get in touch with you?
-We're going to hit Poppa Joe tonight, right in the comfort of his own home. Then we move on to New York. It's getting a bit hot for us here.
-Be careful.
-We're alive.
-What are you going to do?
-We're going to turn ourselves in. It was self defense.
-Hold this shit for us, Doc. We'll be comin back for it when we get out.
-Would someone please come over here and...
-Fuck!
-me up the...
-I do believe the Monsignor finally got a point.
-Hey Murphy?
-Aye.
-How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-How many?
-No fuckin' hot water man. That...
-Aaaww, shit!... evil woman!
-Oh, Jesus.
-I gave him his first lesson in sensitivity toward the fairer sex just today.
-Don't even do it, ya bastard.
-He got beat up by a girl.
-All right, love ya ma. Listen, before ya go just give us the goods, eh?
-"What do we tell him about the guns and money?"
-"We just got up and left. Bum musta rolled them before the police got there."
-A p-penny saved is worth two in the bush.
-Listen fellas, Y'know he's got 'til this week's end. Ya don't have ta be hard asses, do ya?
-"Now, that wasn't too polite, was it?"
-How do you think he figured all this out without talking to us?
-I have no idea. Maybe someone saw and talked.
-German. Not in our neighborhood, man. A hundred percent Irish. No one talks to cops. Period.
-Absolutely not.
-Destroy all that which is evil...
-Know what we need, man?... some rope.
-For what?
-Charlie Bronson's always got rope.
-What?
-Yeah, these guys always got a lot of rope strapped around em in the movies and they always end up using it.
-Oh, you've lost it, haven't ya?
-I'm serious.
-Me too. That's stupid. Name one thing we're gonna need it for.
-I don't know they just always need it.
-Is that right, Rambo?
-Nervous?
-A bit.
-See. I told you there'd be a shaft.
-Where the fuck are you going?
-We'll find it. Just calm down.
-We're doing some serious shit here. Now, get a hold of yourself, asshole.
-Asshole!? I'm not the rope-totin' Charlie Bronson wanna-be that's getting' us lost!
-That was way easier than I thought.
-Aye.
-On TV ya always get that asshole that jumps behind the couch.
-Yeah, and ya gotta shoot at him for ten minutes.
-Oh, we're good man.
-Nine bodies.
-Mafiosos getting caught with 20 kilos and walkin' on bail the same day.
-Little girls catchin' stray bullets in their heads, playin' hopscotch in their front yards. And everyone thinks the same thing... Someone should just go kill those motherfuckers.
-Where are you goin'? Did you tell him?
-Yes.
-Who did you kill?
-So what do you think?
-We've teamed up with a sex offender.
-Give the guy a shot.
-There he goes. Okay, gentlemen. Are we ready to bring this man into the light? Are we ready to truly do the work of the Lord?
-That's the guy that got us off the hook with the "Checkov" thing.
-He isn't to be touched.
-Now, you will receive us.
-We do not ask for your poor or your hungry.
-We do not want your tired and sick.
-It is your corrupt we claim.
-It is your evil, who will be sought by us.
-With every breath we shall hunt them down.
-Each day we will spill their blood till it rains down from the skies.
-Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
-These are not polite suggestions. They are codes of behavior and those that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
-There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth Not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption... into our domain.
-For if you do, there will come the day when you look behind you and see we three. And on that day you will reap it.
-I prefer to be called Rozengurtle by men.
-Okay, just cut off as much fat as you can as it goes by and the rule of thumb here is...
-Rule of thumb?
-Yeah?
-I knew you two pricks would give me problems. Give me shit cause I'm a woman. I'm not gonna take your male dominance bullshit!
-Baumgartner sound Irish to you, fuck face?
-Holy shit. You're the first one that's ever got that.
-And number three, Dolly.
-Uh... two shooters!
-So, what do we do now?
-She was in here when it went down.
-Can she I.D. them?
-They were wearing masks.
-Of course they were. How many?
-Only two did the shooting. So what are you thinking, Russian retaliation?
-Maybe the three of them had something in common.
-And it's the same story over here. Why the crossover? Theories.
-The shooter knew these guys, huh?
-How do you figure?
-No! Fuck you! You start getting excited! We gotta fucking go!
-What?
-Where's my cat?
-I killed your fuckin' cat, you druggie bitch!
-You... oh god, why?
-I felt it would bring closure to our relationship!
-Your what?! Your fuckin' what?!
-My, my...
-Your what, bitch? I'll shoot myself in the head, you can tell me that cats name! Go ahead... Your what? Your precious little...
-Pee...Per...Man.
-Peeperman? WRONG? What color was it?!!!
-It was... It was...
-So what are you thinkin' here?
-So Duffy, got any theories to go with that... tie.
-These guys were pros. I think they were coming for one target, the fag man, he was the...
-The what man?
-The fat man.
-Well, Freud was right. So you think they came for the fag man, huh? And what do you base this upon?
-He was the only one done right. Two in the back of the head.
-And the pennies?
-New hitman wants to leave his mark
-That's a possibility. Y'know you Boston cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Another possibility is that they were placed there with religious intent.
-Yeah. Some cultures still put pennies in the eyes of the dead, or silver.
-The Greeks. The Italians.
-The two bullets went in here, through the top of the skull, criss-crossed and exited through the eyeballs. This one clue tells us three distinct facts. Number one... Duffy.
-They shot him at a downward angle. They put him on his knees.
-Now stay with me, boys. What did they do to make two such identical wounds? Did one guy put him on his knees, pop a cap in, sit him back up and shoot him again the same way? No. Two men of similar height dropped this guy down, each put some iron to his head and boom! That's all she fuckin' wrote!
-What about one guy with two guns?
-Now, what is this going to look like to those who do not know what I just told you?
-It's gonna look like the bad guys are killing each other.
-Allow me to enlighten you gentlemen to the protocol of the porno industry, as I'm sure you've never been in one of these places before. A man goes into the booth, puts the money in the slot. The dancer gets it on the other side. She hits the button, door goes up, now there is only glass between you and it's little fireman time.
-No way they could have seen it?
-Jesus. I just can't think anymore. That scene over at the coffee shop today tapped me out.
-What?
-A guy went nuts over off of Commonwealth today. Shot three guys to death in a coffee shop in broad daylight. Fled the scene. Don't have much on him.
-These two fucking scenes are related. Too many coincidences. Same day? Five hours apart? Dead mobsters on both scenes. Now, why did he kill the bartender?
-Crime of passion. He just went nuts. He would have shot everyone in here. He just ran out of bullets.
-Duffy. This look like a fucking post office to you? This guy came in here with intent. Maybe he didn't know exactly what he was gonna do but he had a pretty good idea. The bartender wasn't a fucking accident.
-Well, we didn't get any help on that. A lot of people saw it. Nobody's talking.
-That's one big fuckin' shoe!... and think about it. Of all the ways to kill a guy, crushin' him to death. That's very particular. You don't get many of those. I dunno. I feel something big here. I wouldn't be surprised if we see more of these turning up.
-Brilliant. So now we got a Huge guy theory and Serial crusher theory. Top fucking notch. What's your name?
-Who the...
-Twist of lemon!
-Chief, what the fuck is this?
-He's struck again, hasn't he, Greenly?
-Why do you always disrespect me like that?
-How many bodies, Greenly?
-While Greenly's getting coffee, anybody else want anything?
-Uh. Shit, I, uh...
-After talking to the dancer we know that their mark was the guy in the middle booth. After she watches them whack him, she passes out. Why the two extra victims?
-Witness?
-They weren't related. The guy used a 38. No pennies. Totally amateur.
-Who were the victims?
-A couple of peons for the mob and...
-What if it was just one guy with six guns?
-What the...?
-Oh my god!
-Oh, she's quite proud of herself.
-It's only 11:00 here boys so I got lot's more drinkin' ta do with your worthless relatives down at the Anvil.
-But he's been havin' himself a nip or two as well... Been up the waitress' skirt all night, poor girl.
-Promise me boys.
-Right now.
-This is some heavy shit. This is like Lone Ranger-heavy man. Fuck it! There's so much shit that pisses me off. You guys should recruit 'cause I am sick and fuckin' tired of walkin' down the street waitin' for one of these assholes to get me, y'know?
-Hallelujah, Jaffar.
-Well fuck, you guys could do this every day.
-You fuckin' guys. You ruined me. I'm fuckin' done. Permanent package boy.
-Who says that? You could take credit on it.
-What are you serious?
-Hey. You don't know that shit for sure.
-Oh, Jesus. You're such a fuckin' retard!
-Fuck you!
-Use your brain for once. Is it so unbelievable they don't care about you? You are fuckin' dead, you go in there today. Dead!
-Fuck it! What kind of flowers ya want at your funeral? Ya dumb Wop. This is the last time I'll see you. Bye-bye ya stupid son of a bitch.
-Hello?
-Hey Murph.
-Roc. You okay?
-Yeah. Anybody call for me?
-No. You sure you're okay?
-Hello?
-Hey, Murph.
-Roc. You okay?
-Yeah. Anybody call for me?
-No. You sure you're okay?
-Hurry the fuck up!
-This is some crazy shit, man!
-Those rat fucks! All of them were all laughing at me man!
-Liberating isn't it?
-Vincenzo, that fat motherfucker, Yakavetta's right hand. He's the one who set me up. Then he went around shooting his mouth off, telling everyone I was as good as dead. He goes in there every Wednesday night around 10:00, he jerks off in the same booth to the same titty dancer. Never misses.
-So?
-Well, truth be known, those first ones just kinda fell into our laps.
-You look like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert.
-Worst day of my life, man.
-Well he sure as fuck knew you!
-Shit!... Shit! He ain't here.
-What the fuck do you mean?
-You bet your ass he will.
-Hey! We gotta talk about this early morning church shit.
-We'll keep going, Roc.
-Hello? You there?
-Why have you come to a church for council if you're not religious?
-Why have I come to a church? I never have before. I guess I just... felt I should.
-What is it my son?
-It's ethics. I put evil men behind bars, but the law has miles of red tape and loopholes for these... cocksuckers to slip through. I've found out there are these two young men who fix the situation with an iron fist. As if they have God's permission. But what they do is wrong and I should arrest them... technically.
-But in this day and age I believe what they do is... necessary. I feel it is... correct.
-You believe?
-Yes.
-You feel?
-Yes.
-Has he now?
-You have entered the house of the Lord of your own free will speaking of beliefs and feelings. Is it so much to believe that God has brought you here?
-I guess not.
-You're right.
-Those who do not act are in a constant state of ethical indecision.
-I want to stand for what I believe in, father.
-Then you must find out what your beliefs are.
-I believe these young men are right.
-You know them personally?
-Yes.
-Do you think they would harm an innocent man, for any reason?
-The laws of God are higher than the laws of man.
-Yes! Yes! I was thinking that, too. No. I was feeling it. All I needed was to hear you say it! Amen! I'll help them.
-Forgive me father.
-You gonna do what I say, got it?
-Yes.
-I'm sorry you're gonna hafta see this. Don't look at me!
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't see.
-Don't do this my son.
-Open it!
-Have you no fear of God?
-Father, I'll do you right here.
-Do your thing Father. Don't fuck this up.
-What do you want me to say?
-Just be natural, goddamit.
-I wouldn't have, uh, killed you, Father. Dominus Ominus. Remember, you're bound. You can't talk about this... to anyone.
-Poppa Joe, you want me to go now?
-Hey, Rocco, wait. Come back here.
-I always see you talking to the boys and making them laugh. They always come around telling me what a crack up you are. What is it they call you?
-The... The funny man.
-The funny man. Well, I got a new job for you, just for now. Roc, I'm having a real shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny story or a joke.
-Uh. Okay... um... you hear the one about the, no fuck that one... uh... oh! oh! Well... shit. Okay, there's a white guy. He's walkin' along the beach and he finds a, a pot, y'know and ah, he rubs it and this genie pops out. But this genie, he's a ni... he's a black guy.
-He's a nigger.
-Continue the joke.
-Well, it's the funny man. Give it here, package boy.
-Joey Bevo said it was important. Said I had to give it to him myself.
-I'm Rocco. I'm the funny man. Heee Hee. I'm so fuckin' funny. Hee Hee.
-Fuck you Vincenzo.
-Tell me a joke funny man. Hee Hee.
-What color hair does he have?
-Black hair. Paul Michael Glaser.
-Making Hutch David Soul?
-Right. The blond guy.
-OK. That's wrong.
-Dignan, it's --
-Plus where's Huggie Bear?
-He's not there. Huggie Bear isn't in every single episode.
-I think you might of dreamed this one, Anthony.
-Why?
-As part of his plan. I don't know why.
-See, that's what I'm saying. It has the logic of a dream.
-The point is the killer always goes, May I speak to Starsky? He says his name.
-What does Starsky say?
-He says. This is he.
-This is he?
-Did you see what I meant about the window?
-Kind of. Except we've already got the keys.
-That's true. But what if they change the locks?
-Would they do that?
-Now that window can never be locked. It's impossible.
-She's really kind of hot.
-It's got a V-8, Dignan.
-Anthony, we'll get two hundred for the coin collection alone. That's less than what it's appraised at.
-But Dignan, do you really know that much about rare coins?
-The list, Dignan. I know you remember the list because you signed it. "Things Dignan was not supposed to touch."
-Every valuable item in the house was on that list.
-That doesn't make any difference. I bought those earrings for my mother on her birthday. They have a very special value for her.
-Yeah, but I can't be sorting through that shit in the middle of a burglary. There's just not time for it.
-Where are you going?
-I don't appreciate you ridiculing me.
-How was I ridiculing you?
-You're making fun of my family. You know there's nothing to steal from my mom and Craig. You know exactly what you're saying.
-Did you see that?
-Yeah, I saw it.
-I'm lookout.
-Dignan, it's got an alarm.
-I don't think so. Just reach on in.
-That sets it off.
-It had an alarm.
-Yeah, I heard that.
-Holy shit. What'd I tell you?
-Eight dollars.
-But he didn't say anything.
-Is it back in?
-Loop around real fast.
-OK. Escape route. The most important thing you can have is an escape route. Just in case somebody's tailing us. Or even chasing us, as the case may be --
-You think we're going to be chased?
-Now. One thing we need to discuss is timing. Timing is absolutely crucial. What are you doing? Anthony!
-Anthony, give me the fucking gun!
-Dignan, calm down.
-You're out! I'm not working with either one of you!
-Calm down. Take a deep breath.
-Where's the manager?
-Where's the other stocker?
-There's another stocker, right?
-Is that the manager?
-Holy shit.
-What about what that guy said?
-I swear to God. In a very quiet voice.
-Like he meant it.
-Yeah.
-Like he would find Dignan. One day.
-What's wrong with him?
-What do you think?
-Anthony, he sat in the car and watched a 4-11 in progress. He got what he deserved.
-He was the driver, Dignan. He did what he's supposed to do.
-I didn't realize you were so sensitive to Bob's feelings. Considering I did the plans, you're actually lucky you got --
-Can I get that credit card from you?
-I don't like to use that credit card, Dignan.
-Why not?
-Because my mom gets the bill.
-She's not going to notice, Anthony.
-I don't want to use it.
-Well, then cut it in half.
-I keep it for emergencies.
-See if mine are in there.
-Dignan, those aren't running shoes.
-Yes, they are.
-Look at the treads on those.
-What about them?
-They obviously weren't designed for racing.
-Really. OK, Dad. But seriously, Anthony. These are fast shoes.
-You've never had a pair of fast shoes in your life, Dignan. In fifth grade Dignan used to wear cowboy boots for P.E.
-That's real cool, Anthony. Yeah, I wore boots. My parents wouldn't buy me any $200 running shoes like yours. I wasn't spoiled.
-Don't call me spoiled, Dignan.
-I'll just say it.
-I'll say it.
-OK. Go ahead.
-You owe me fifty bucks.
-Look, man. She didn't know anything about shirts.
-No, I'm not saying her. I'm just saying, I don't know.
-Armored trucks are very difficult to steal, Anthony.
-I know. But once you get inside you're home free.
-Right. Get back to me on that one. Once your plan is worth a shit.
-It's not a plan. It's just --
-Actually. If you knew the exact route, you could plant explosives under a manhole cover and blow it up as it went over.
-Yeah, but you wouldn't have the truck if you blew it up.
-Dignan, I can't get my hair cut. That's just not possible, all right?
-No, Dignan. I'm sorry. I can't do that.
-I thought you guys went to get your hair cut.
-This is Inez. Carmen. Anita.
-Hi.
-Inez, this is --
-May I have a word with you, please?
-What the fuck is going on here?
-What. What's the matter?
-Anthony, we're on the run from the law here. Did you tell these people your real name?
-No. I didn't. Dignan, they don't speak English.
-They don't?
-No. Not really. Inez speaks a little.
-Which one was that?
-She's from Cuba.
-He needs to hire an attorney.
-Now that makes sense. We'll hang out for a couple of days. Get a little R&R. Make sure Future Man's OK and then get back on the road.
-As long as he gets out OK.
-Obviously. That's a given.
-See, now we've got a plan.
-See, one day we were playing hot box over at my next door neighbor Mr. Langston's house and Anthony fell in the pool and got knocked unconscious. I had to dive in and save him.
-This was in fourth grade.
-Mr. Langston performed cardiopulmonary recitation. CPR. I've never said this before, but frankly I thought Anthony was dead. The veins in his face were all sticking out. His skin was blue. He truly did look dead.
-After that my parents never let me go to Dignan's again.
-But if it wasn't for Dignan I probably would of died.
-He's gone. He stole the car.
-Where was it parked?
-That coward. Son of a bitch.
-Maybe he just went to the store.
-He went back for his brother.
-We said 48 hours.
-When'd he tell you?
-This morning.
-Where was I?
-You were asleep.
-He told you and you let him do it.
-He told me because he wanted to know if I wanted to go.
-If you wanted to go? What were you going to do? Just leave me here by myself?
-Well, I didn't do it, did I?
-So when you were saying Bob's at the store and acting real surprised, that was just an act. You were just --
-Bob went to help his brother. I understand that and I can't help it if you don't.
-I understand that if I had a few more friends like you and Bob I'd be dead.
-If you'd gone with Bob you'd probably be in Weatherford by now. Of course I'd be here frantically worrying thinking you must of got kidnapped.
-I didn't realize you had such an incredible ability to feel sorry for yourself, Dignan.
-We're going over to this bar if you feel like going.
-Why don't you come with us.
-I can't believe he just jumped you.
-I wish I'd been there.
-Man. I'm sorry. We just went for a walk --
-I don't really feel like talking about it. The only thing I feel like is getting the fuck out of this place.
-I have an idea for that.
-What?
-Inez has a master key to all these rooms, doesn't she? Doesn't she?
-I don't think we can do that.
-I know we can. It's real simple. We go into a room, grab some car keys and --
-What I'm saying is she wouldn't go for that.
-She doesn't need to know.
-I don't know, Dignan. I just --
-Look. I'm ready to get the fuck out of here. It's real torture for me to be here. Getting the shit kicked out of me by Mexicans.
-Shh.
-No one to back me up. Now I have a good idea. So unless you come up with something better --
-I don't think we need any keys, Dignan. I think I can hotwire a car for us.
-You don't know how to hotwire.
-Yes, I do. Bob taught me.
-Bob taught you how to get electrocuted.
-I think we better go home.
-Don't panic, Anthony.
-I'm not. But there's --
-You can't just run home every time things get tough. First of all, we've got enough dough to --
-Our money situation is not good.
-You're so spoiled. What is "not good" to you? Only a few hundred --
-We've got sixteen dollars.
-Sixteen dollars.
-I know.
-I had to give some to Inez.
-How much?
-You gave $383 to the goddamn housekeeper! What the fuck is your problem?
-She needed it.
-A $500 tip! For the housekeeper!
-Her name's Inez. Stop calling her the housekeeper.
-That's what she is!
-I know that. But --
-You're in love with the fucking housekeeper!
-Shut up!
-When'd you get back?
-Who's in the car?
-That's Applejack. You want to meet him?
-Applejack would of got him anyway. This was just the quicker way.
-I want you to look at this.
-What is it?
-It's big, Anthony. Real big. It's called Hinckley Cold Storage.
-Mr. Henry has an inside source. We call him Steve. That's where we get our information.
-Who's Mr. Henry?
-What exactly is this place? Freezers?
-What time did he say to be here?
-You could give somebody a concussion.
-What do you think?
-Dignan. Take it easy.
-He doesn't want to fight.
-Get out of the way.
-No fighting. It wasn't Bob's fault.
-Shit, Dignan.
-What the fuck are we doing out here?
-I don't know, Dignan. You went crazy.
-OK. Man in blue jeans just left by southwest door. He is entering a white van. What time is it?
-Eleven fifteen.
-OK. Mark that down.
-God. Isn't this great? Working on the job. Got a wheel man. Got a safecracker. Good friends with Mr. Henry.
-Yeah. It's pretty good.
-Next week we'll be drinking piña coladas.
-Or I might end up with a broken nose.
-I'll try not to hold you back tomorrow.
-I don't think you will.
-I don't want to be too much of a liability.
-Look, you're going to do fine. It's OK to be scared.
-He was a nice guy.
-Do you like Inez?
-As a person?
-Yeah. As a girl.
-Yes. I do.
-Bird Dog to Scarecrow. Bird Dog to Scarecrow.
-Go ahead, Bird Dog.
-You're all clear.
-Roger.
-We all set?
-Uh-huh?
-Take your second position.
-I'm in position, Scarecrow.
-Any activity?
-Not at all. The place is totally deserted.
-Good. It's supposed to be.
-I've got a great view up here. I can see all the --
-I don't know.
-What's happening? What's going on?
-Who did that? What the fuck is that?
-It's going back down.
-Freeze!
-Nobody move!
-Help me move him.
-Who tripped the alarm?
-It's the fire alarm. Somebody pulled the fire alarm.
-Where's Kumar?
-I don't know.
-What are you doing?
-Wait for Kumar.
-You're kidding.
-Come on.
-I'll see you there.
-What?
-I'll see you there.
-What are you talking about?
-I'll get him.
-There's not enough time.
-Dignan, it's too late.
-Like amnesia.
-So is Mr. Henry going to come by and see me or anything?
-I don't think so. I mean. Actually, he robbed Bob's house.
-He did?
-Yeah.
-You got to be kidding me.
-I'm not kidding.
-What'd he get?
-Pretty much everything.
-You think Applejack knew?
-Why?
-Mr. Henry never gave you a test, did he?
-What do you mean?
-You're living on a sailboat?
-It belongs to Bob's uncle.
-How big is it?
-Where?
-Does it float?
-So how is it in there?
-What's he in for?
-I think I may have found a way out of here.
-You're kidding.
-No. I'm not.
-How?
-Shhh. Wait for my instructions.
-When we go through the next gate you'll have 30 seconds to take out the tower guard.
-What?
-Have the car running at the north- west checkpoint. Bob and I'll --
-Scale the barricade and tunnel through no man's land. And Bob. Remember:
-Scale the --
-This is my business manager, Rowboat.
-Nice to meet you.
-That's a sharp jacket.
-It's hard to get much spin with this kind of paddle.
-You know, your form is for shit, but you've got a hell of a talent.
-Every once in a while some cat comes to me. He wants to know how I made it. How did I become a success? The first thing I tell them is: follow your instincts. Let your instincts guide you. The second thing I tell them is, for Christ's sake: you got to know your grammar.
-You mean like techniques?
-I'd like to live in that place. Hinckley Cold Storage.
-You mean a safecracker?
-Look at that woman. She's what? Fifty? Fifty-five? But she hasn't let herself go. I appreciate an older woman who has a commitment to her body.
-Tell me something. What the hell kind of name is Dignan?
-I'm not really sure. I think it's Irish. Or maybe --
-I guess what I'm trying to say is what the hell kind of person is this Dignan?
-What do you mean what kind of person? He's a good person.
-Sure, sure. He's a great person, and I'd call bullshit on anybody who said differently. But I wonder if the kid has the goods up here.
-I don't think you're giving him enough credit. I know sometimes he doesn't think an idea through. He gets too excited. But --
-And you're wrong if you think, I'd turn my back on a friend.
-Congratulations. You passed the test.
-What do you mean?
-That was a test?
-How does that feel?
-Did Dignan take the test?
-Yes, he did.
-Well, he agreed 100% that Bob should be dropped. And he also agreed you were a liability. But he felt his talent would make up for your weaknesses.
-I'll tell you, Anthony. Times like this I get philosophical. What does it mean? What's it all about? Are you afraid to die?
-Me?
-No, that door over there.
-I don't want to die.
-Are you afraid?
-Yeah. I mean, I don't think about it all the time. But once in awhile I kind of go, Woah. Man.
-Exactly. Woah.
-Death.
-The fear of death, The pain of consciousness. Did you mix this martini?
-No. Bob did.
-Bob. Bob. That's a palindrome. I love palindromes.
-Are you afraid to die, Mr. Henry?
-This is good.
-But you're thieves. It's what you are.
-Yeah.
-We're renegades from despair.
-Can I ask you something, Mr. Henry?
-Absolutely.
-Why'd you want to help us?
-Future Man.
-Who?
-Did you ever steal a car before?
-What do herbs have to do with it? I don't understand the --
-In your backyard? How do you protect them?
-It's private property. Plus I have Hector.
-Hector woudn't do anything.
-Could you grow cinnamon?
-I don't know. Sure, I guess.
-Let them fight.
-Are you serious?
-See you.
-You'll probably have them the rest of your life.
-What the fuck is Dignan doing with that cop? He loves them.
-There's a million places to hide around here.
-Oh, yeah. They'll never catch the guy.
-I hope not.
-Where you going?
-Why don't you just tell them the truth. Those belong to my neighbor Phil.
-I don't know. I personally don't need that shit in my life right now.
-Will you guys shut up? God. It's like having two little kids in the car.
-You think he got my license plates?
-How long are they going to hold him?
-Anthony, I --
-What?
-Bob, where you going?
-I'm not playing any more golf.
-Why not?
-Cause I'm not getting any better. It's a waste of time.
-You've only been playing for two weeks, Bob. It takes a long time to learn this game.
-You think I'm improving?
-You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
-No, I don't mind.
-I know it must of been a bad experience. But it doesn't sound like it was your fault.
-It took six months of research. I did all the wiring myself. Switched AC to DC. Doubled the voltage. Shorted out the generator. The whole school was shut down.
-That's pretty complicated for a senior prank.
-At first they were going to charge me with manslaughter. That's partly why I was in custody so long. Sixty days.
-Sixty days?
-Yeah. One minute you're studying Great Expectations and the next minute you're drawing the Holy Mary for some kid who tried to stab his girlfriend.
-Why were you drawing the Holy Mary?
-I thought he didn't have to pay anything because of the technicality.
-Yeah, but he still has the aggravation. Three days sitting in a cell.
-Were you adopted, Bob?
-Why do you say that?
-Well, because you guys don't look alike.
-Was Future Man adopted?
-Let's not even talk about it.
-Yeah. Let's keep it --
-Give him a second.
-You OK, Bob?
-No, I'm having a heart attack. Of course, I'm OK. What's that supposed to mean?
-No, I know. I'm just saying. I feel fine. You want a piece of cake?
-What are you doing?
-My walkie talkie's busted. I can't tell what's going on.
-Let me see it. Did you drop it?
-Jesus, Bob.
-Yeah.
-We think Mr. Henry maybe --
-It's in the driveway.
-How do you say nineteen?
-Dies y nueve.
-Are you ever scared of finding a dead body in one of these rooms?
-No.
-Were you born in Mexico?
-Cuba.
-Does my skin feel soft, Anthony?
-What? What?
-Like silk?
-Nice to meet you, Applejack.
-You're Anthony?
-Yeah.
-Did you ever hear of the S. Cooper Trust robbery?
-Uh-uh.
-S. Cooper Trust, in San Francisco?
-Let's go, Abdul-Shabazz.
-I can knock a man out with a six inch punch.
-What do you mean?
-Where'd they come from?
-The front stairs.
-There's a lot of valuable shit in there, Applejack. The silver and the china. The crystal. And the grandfather clock. Goddammit, I bet that clock's worth ten grand.
-Why the fuck do we need to blow up the car? It doesn't make any goddamn sense.
-Just settling an old score. You might say revenge.
-That sounds like a lot of bullshit that'll land us in jail.
-We might have to take that chance. Cause I feel pretty strongly about this.
-Is that him?
-That's Anthony.
-That's your friend Anthony?
-Yeah.
-What's he doing here?
-Wait. Did he see us?
-Mr. Henry pulled that job in 1965. It's famous. Applejack was the wheel man. Did you use this same car, Applejack?
-I don't know why the fuck we're having a party. The damn job's not over yet.
-Well, this isn't really a party per se.
-You don't celebrate til it's over.
-What?
-Are you a fag?
-Dignan and Anthony, this is Little Richard. He's crazy. Totally nuts.
-I don't know about that.
-Little Richard. Trust me. You're insane. Jesus, this guy used to carry a percussion bomb around in his trunk. You do not want a guy like that loose on the streets.
-It seemed like a good idea at the time.
-Well, what do you think?
-I'm not allowed to drive those.
-Not even for emergencies?
-No.
-I thought your parents were in Italy.
-They are.
-So who's going to know?
-He looks like he was designed by scientists. For desert warfare.
-That never would of --
-If you're that worried, maybe we should just steal one.
-What are you talking about, Bob?
-You stole a Trans-Am.
-Yes. I did.
-OK, Bob.
-It's true, Dignan.
-Well. What do you want to do? You want to steal one or just drive your car?
-How much could you grow? Realistically.
-As much as I want. When these plants bud I'll probably have about six thousand dollars worth of weed.
-Six thousand dollars? Come on, Bob.
-If it's that easy why doesn't everybody grow them?
-Don't you guys tell anybody about my plants.
-You're paranoid, Bob.
-What was that all about?
-I can't believe you said that.
-What did I say?
-The guy is fucking insane.
-I warned you, Dignan.
-You said it like it was a big joke, Bob. Like he's wild.
-No, I was saying crazy like a lunatic.
-I know that now. He's a fucking psycho.
-Well, don't blame me. I told you.
-Where'd she go?
-I think we might of scared her.
-I'm going to take a look at this.
-Hang on. This is important, Bob. Anthony and I are responsible for the internal situation. The money and the people. You're responsible for the external situation. The streets and the getaway.
-That's my responsibility.
-That's your domain.
-Bob.
-I'm paying attention. I just want to look at it for a minute.
-What's your fucking problem? You're a shithead!
-I paid for it.
-He doesn't get it. Held never understand what we're trying to accomplish here. It's too dangerous for him.
-Well, in reality it's not that dangerous, Bob. It's only dangerous if you don't know what you're doing.
-You know, Bob, Anthony did kill someone. He electrocuted our janitor senior year.
-He electrocuted someone?
-It was an accidental. I don't want to go into the details. It was just one of those senior pranks that didn't really go right. I mean, obviously, since Swifty's dead. That's why Anthony never graduated.
-His name was Swifty?
-Yeah. One of the nicest old guys you'd ever know.
-That's too bad.
-What are you doing?
-What happened?
-Shhh. Slow down, Bob. Drive natural.
-This is natural.
-That's good. Keep it at forty.
-Did we get it?
-How much is there?
-Was Dignan screaming like, Get me a bag!
-You really think he'll remember you?
-Bob, will you please listen?
-I mean, Jesus Christ, Bob. You didn't have some vicious lunatic screaming, "I'm going to remember you!"
-That's true. That would give me nightmares.
-Way to go, Bob!
-I told you they were there.
-In all probability nothing would of happened. But why take the chance? That's why I ran. I mean how many plants were even back there? Five? Ten?
-Shit, Bob. What the fuck did you do that for?
-Is he chasing us?
-I'm sure he did. We'll have to get new plates.
-It's registered in my mother's name.
-What the fuck possessed you?
-Bob. Are you coming?
-You can go first, Bob.
-My brother's in jail.
-The weed.
-But it's not his. How can they arrest Future Man?
-I don't think they can make it stick, Bob. I mean, what do they actually have on Future Man?
-Well, the marijuana crop is a good start.
-That could be anybody's.
-They also found my two beam scale in the garage.
-Since when is it a crime to have a scale in your house? Everybody has a scale.
-The cops say it's a special kind of scale drug dealers use in selling marijuana.
-So tell them the truth. What do you use it for?
-How long has he been in there?
-I don't know.
-Then how come they haven't set the bail yet? That's unconstitutional.
-What do you mean get back?
-Well, obviously, we got to go back.
-Bob, that makes no sense.
-Dignan, he's my brother. I can't just leave him there.
-This could be a trap.
-Come on, Dignan.
-Don't "Come on, Dignan" me.
-I'm going back.
-Not in that car you're not.
-Watch me.
-Give me the keys, Dignan.
-I can't do that, Bob.
-Dignan. You're going to give me those keys or you're going to get hurt.
-Don't threaten me, Bob.
-Future Man would never go to jail for you, I'll tell you that.
-His name's not Future Man, Dignan.
-I know it's not.
-You don't even know his name.
-Yes, I do.
-What is it?
-Just get in the car, Bob.
-What's his name?
-It's not your decision and he's not your brother, Dignan.
-You've got a beautiful walk, Bob.
-Dignan.
-Hey, Dignan. How's it going?
-Not bad.
-Come on in. What you been up to?
-It's too bad about what happened on the road.
-Right. It was extremely stupid.
-I don't expect an apology and I don't even want one. I just want us to --
-I can't fucking believe this guy. An apology, Bob?
-You said 48 hours!
-I never agreed to that.
-Bob, you're lying!
-Bullshit.
-Come on!
-It wasn't your fault, Bob. You had your brother.
-I'm sorry, Bob.
-That's OK.
-Come on, Bob.
-I know it, man. Hang on.
-Scarecrow?
-Everything OK?
-Yeah. We're in the elevator. How's it look back there?
-It looks pretty good. There's nobody back here.
-I couldn't hear anything.
-What's wrong with Applejack?
-He's having a heart attack or something.
-Is he breathing?
-Jesus Christ. What the fuck is that?
-I didn't think there was an alarm.
-The elevator broke.
-Where's Applejack?
-Applejack drove.
-I said to the DA, That cop who hit me must of given me CRS disease.
-What's that?
-Do you have your own room?
-We don't have rooms, Bob. We have cells.
-Do you have your own cell?
-Do they let you --
-Hold on --
-Here we go.
-Wait a second --
-How's that 700 bucks coming?
-I'm working on it.
-Fancy seeing you here, Bob.
-I might have mentioned it.
-John, I'm twenty-six years old I didn't run away from home.
-I know, Bob. You were on a secret mission.
-I'd appreciate it if you didn't go around telling people lies about me.
-How you doing, Bob?
-You keeping out of trouble?
-I'm trying.
-Your brother was up here the other day. He said you ran away from home.
-He said what?
-He said you ran away from home.
-How long do you have to go?
-26 weeks.
-And what does that cover?
-Social issues. Crime prevention.
-Ground defense.
-Dignan. Good to see you. Good to see you Applejack. Who are you?
-This is Anthony Adams, Mr. Henry.
-Is he in?
-What do you mean grammar?
-The grammar?
-Crowd control. Crowd control. Wake up, guys.
-Oh, yeah.
-Is he good?
-Join the party, fellas.
-You got to have fun with it. There's no point if you're not having any fun. Would you like me to be there tomorrow?
-Yes.
-Why?
-Well, I think --
-Where did he go?
-Who? Applejack?
-Why did he go that way?
-What's the story?
-Can't get it. It won't...
-We're closed, sir.
-Where's that guy going?
-He left his sweater.
-Well, I left some money in there.
-Where?
-Where is he? Where is Rob?
-I don't know. Maybe in literature. That's his section.
-Hello, my friend. You in the Army, yes?
-No. I just have short hair.
-Is that your chiquita?
-No, my friend knows her.
-You like Chicanos?
-You a good pool player.
-Got a little lucky.
-I don't know.
-Guess I'll get another Tecate.
-Si. Tecate. You like to fight?
-What?
-No. Just pool.
-You Hoto?
-Fuck you. You a Hoto.
-No. Me no Hoto. Tecate?
-How's the weather down there?
-Mr. Henry?
-Come on in!
-It's locked.
-John Mapplethorpe. How are you. Hi.
-The world needs dreamers, son.
-What?
-Well, we'll see you later, Bob.
-Pleasure to meet you, John.
-You told me Bourne was dead.
-There was a mistake.
-I'll say. You killed his goddam girlfriend instead. Now they're onto Neski. They're at the Brecker Hotel even as we speak.
-Will it track back to us?
-No. The files are spotless. Whatever they find, it's just going to make Conklin look worse.
-And the Landy woman?
-She's done everything I wanted. She bit on Conklin so fast it was laughable. She even found his bogus Swiss account...
-Neski was a roadblock. Without me, there's no company, no fortune. You owe me, Uri. One last push.
-Leaving was a business decision. We're both rich, come enjoy it.
-What do you mean?
-Go to the airport. Get a plane. I'll have a brass band waiting for you.
-Save it for Bourne.
-He left yesterday on the night train. He's probably just getting in now. You'll have to hurry.
-Treadstone.
-Never heard of it.
-That's not gonna fly.
-And what are we looking for?
-I want to know about Treadstone.
-To know about it? It was a kill squad. Black on black. Closed down two years ago. Nobody wants to know about Treadstone. Not around here. You better take this back to Marty and make sure he knows what you're doing.
-Let's talk about Conklin.
-What are you after, Pam? You want to fry me? You want my desk? Is that it?
-I want to know what happened.
-What happened? Jason Bourne happened. You've got the files? Then let's cut the crap. It went wrong. Conklin had these guys wound so tight they were bound to snap. Bourne was his number one -- guy went out to work, screwed the op and never came back. Conklin couldn't fix it, couldn't find Bourne, couldn't adjust. It all went sideways. Finally there were no
-So you had Conklin killed. I mean, if we're cutting the crap...
-I've given thirty years and two marriages to this agency. I've shoveled shit on four continents. I'm due to retire next year and believe me, I need my pension, but if you think I'm gonna sit here and let you dangle me with this, you can go to hell. Marshall too. It had to be done.
-And Bourne? Where's he now?
-Dead in a ditch? Drunk in a bar in Mogadishu? Who knows?
-...Ivan Mevedev -- senior financial manager -- worked for one of the new Russian petroleum companies, Pecos Oil. He claimed to know where the money landed. We believe this could have only happened with help from someone inside the Agency... This...
-...this is Conklin's computer.
-...At the time of his death, Conklin was sitting on a personal account in the amount of seven-hundred and sixty thousand dollars.
-Do you know what his budget was?
-Excuse me.
-We were throwing money at him. Throwing it at him and asking him to keep it dark.
-May I finish?
-Conklin might've been a nut, but he wasn't a mole. You have me his calendar for a couple of days, I'll prove he killed Lincoln. This is supposed to be definitive?
-What's definitive, is that I just lost two people in Berlin!
-Berlin!
-I've already got a team there. I doubt Bourne's in Naples to settle down and raise a family.
-You don't know what you're getting into here.
-Call a Mayday into Berlin station. We need snipers, DOD, whatever they got. Snipers?
-Hold on -- he said he wants to come in.
-My ass he does. You're playing with fire, Pamela. Marshall said nail him to the wall. I don't know how you interpreted that, but I don't think he meant repatriate him.
-Don't you want answers?
-So what's he doing? You believe him?
-It's hard to swallow. The confusion -- the amnesia -- but he keeps on killing? It's more calculated than sick. What about Nicky? She's the last one to see Bourne in Paris. She's the one he asks for. They disappear...
-Sorry to wake you.
-What?
-They found Danny Zorn's body. Dead in the basement at the building where my people got hit the first time.
-Oh, God... It must have been Bourne.
-Did he say anything to you?
-Moscow? What the Hell's he going to Moscow for?
-Don't know.
-Jesus... I, Zorn... I have to call his family. Tell them...
-Sit down.
-I'd rather stand if it's all the same to you.
-I don't exactly know what to say -- I'm sorry.
-'Why' would be enough for me.
-I'm not a traitor. I've served my ountry.
-And pocketed a fair amount of change while doing it.
-Why not? It was just money.
-And Danny Zorn, what was that?
-Had to be done.
-No good options left?
-In the end, honestly, it's hubris. Simple hubris. You reach a point in this game when the only satisfaction left is to see how clever you are.
-No. You lost your way.
-Sir...
-She say what time I should call?
-I did my box work, but I wanted to show you before I showed Landy. I came out here last night because none of this was making any sense. I mean, I'm with you on this, Conklin was a nut, but a traitor? I just can't get there.
-What do you have, Danny?
-You put a four-gam Kel on here and it's gonna take out power to the building. You know that. What you can't know, is if it's gonna blow the room with it.
-And?
-There were two charges, they were supposed to go off simultaneously. The second one, the one that didn't go off, was down here... First of all, this is nothing, it's a sub-line for the breaker above. Second, why put the charge all the way down here? If you're good enough to get in here and handle the gear, you're good enough to know you
-It was staged?
-Is it a slam dunk? No, but...
-Jesus...
-Okay. What if someone decided to cover their tracks by blaming Conklin and Bourne. What if Bourne didn't have anything to do with this?
-Keep going...
-Something's been going on here in Europe. And it's still going on. Post Conklin. Who's been in Berlin?
-Lots of people...
-Who else knows about this?
-Nobody. You. I had to tell you, right?
-Show me again...
-Sit. Can you... [The chair. Have the chair.]
-Of all the people in the world, you're the only one I have anything to offer. That's why I came here.
-It's nice. Does this picture mean anything to you? Hmm?
-It's nothing. It's just a picture.
-No. It's because you don't know how they died.
-I would want to know. I would want to know that my mother didn't kill my father. I would want to know that she didn't kill herself.
-It changes things. That knowledge. Doesn't it?
-Yes...
-That's not what happened to your parents.
-Then what?
-It was my job. My first time. Your father was supposed to be alone. But then your mother, she came out of nowhere... I had to change my plan. You understand me? You don't have to live like that anymore. Thinking that.
-They loved you. And I killed them.
-How... how can... how can you be here and say this?
-It doesn't matter. Your life is hard enough.
-You're a liar.
-You know I'm not.
-YOU'RE A LIAR!
-I should kill you... if it's true you should die... I should kill you now!
-I can't let you do that either.
-Because you're afraid!
-I have to go now.
-Is this really happening?
-I emptied it.
-Felt a little light.
-Front. Use your teeth.
-You still should've moved.
-So why didn't you kill me then?
-What do you want?
-Conklin.
-Try again.
-You're lying. If it's over, why are they after me?
-I don't know.
-Who sent you to Greece?
-A voice. A voice from the States. Someone new.
-Pamela Landy?
-I don't know who that is.
-What's going on in Berlin?
-She really did that? Told you not to kill me? I had a woman once. But after a while, what do you talk about? I mean, for us. The work. You can't tell them who you are...
-You called it in?
-I'm sorry.
--- car keys?
--- my coat -- but we should --
--- what? --
-Where were you, Jason? In the car.
-Conklin up front.
-I'll get the book.
-No. There's nothing new.
-You're sure? We should still -- we should write it down.
-Two years we're scribbling in a notebook --
--- it hasn't been two years --
-We write them down because sooner or later you're going to remember something good.
-I'm trying, Marie, Okay?
-I worry when you get like this.
-It's just a nightmare.
-Sleep. Sleep now.
-I should be better by now.
-You are better. And I think it's not memories at all. It's just a dream you keep having over and over.
-But it ends up the same.
-No... How?
-The Telegraph office.
-But we were so careful.
-But you're sure?
-He was at the campground yesterday.
-So...
-That's crazy.
-No. Not this. This is real. And he's right there...
-Where --
-...but you're not -- you're not sure...
-We can't wait to be sure.
-I don't want to move again... I like it here.
-Look, we clear out, we get to the shack, we get safe. We hang there awhile. I'll come back. I'll check it out. But right now we can't --
--- where's left to go? --
-You drive.
-What?
-Switch! You drive!
--- where? -
-Jesus! -- -- is he back there? --
--- not yet --
--- it's just him? --
--- yeah -- one guy -- I don't think he was ready --
-You keep going to the shack. I'll meet you there in an hour.
-Where are you going?
-I'm going to bail on the other side and wait. This bridge is the only way he can follow.
-What if it's not who you think it is?
-If he crosses the bridge, it is.
-There must be another way!
-I warned them, Marie. I told them to leave us alone.
-Jason, please don't do this...it won't ever be over like this.
-I love you, too.
-I wanted to kill him.
-But you found another choice.
-I did.
-It wouldn't have changed the way you feel.
-I know it's a dream.
-You do?
-God, I miss you. I don't know what to do without you.
-See that tram coming around the corner?
-Yes.
-I did... Jason, I swear, I did... I told them... I told them I believed you...
-Who is Pamela Landy?
-You hear me? I believed you.
-Why is she trying to kill me?
-How do they know that? How can they know any of that?
-What is this, a game?
-Say it.
-Last week an Agency field officer went to make a buy from a Russian national.
-A Russian?
-It was Pamela Landy's op. The guy was going to sell-out a mole or something. I haven't been debriefed on exactly what it was.
-And you got to him before we could.
-I killed him???
-You left a print! There was Kel that didn't go off! There was a partial print, they tracked it back to Treadstone! They know it's you!
-What was Landy buying? What kind of files? WHAT WAS SHE BUYING?
-Why are you here, then?
-Please -- I'm only here because of Paris -- because they can't figure out what you're doing -- I'm here because of Abbott --
-Abbott?
-He closed down Treadstone -- he took care of me after Paris...
-So when was I here?
-What do you mean?
-For Treadstone. In Berlin. You know my file. I did a job here. When?
-No. You never worked Berlin.
-My first job.
-Your first assignment was Geneva.
-That's a lie!
-No... Jason... please...
-I was here!
-It's me.
-What do you want?
-Okay, how do you want to do it?
-I want someone I know to take me in.
-Who?
-Okay, Jason, your move.
-Where am I?
-Oh, shit...
-Why am I alive?
-Thank you for your gift. I'm sorry about Marie.
-What's that?
-Don't need it. I remember everything.
-Sounds like a threat.
-You didn't answer my question.
-We need to get in there.
--- so there were two of these explosive charges placed on the power lines. One of them failed. The fingerprint... That's from the one that didn't go off.
-Looks like he's been detained.
-Who's going? Us?
-There's only a Consulate, they sent a field officer out half an hour ago --
--- Kurt's reopening all the wyfi and sat links --
--- go -- take the van! --
-Maybe he just needed a place to spend the night?
-Alright... take it down.
-What?
-We'll know for sure when we get the security tapes.
-You're sure?
-What? The tapes?
-Show me.
-Here?
-This is everything? Is there.
--- who? -- who else is here? --
--- no! -- not me! -- no other people! --
-I'm here. So is Donnie and Jack Weller. We understand you're using the full allocation for this buy?
-That's where we came out.
-It's a lot of money, Pam.
-We're talking raw, unprocessed KGB files. It's not something we can go out and comparison shop.
-Still...
-Okay, cut to the chase, Pam. What are you selling?
-Mr. Nevins?
-Who's this?
-How long have you worked for the agency?
-Me? Four years.
-I want that area secured, I want any evidence secured and I want it done now. Is that clear??
-Yes, sir -- ma'am...
-What kind of problems?
-Depression. Anger. Compulsive behaviors. They had physical symptoms -- headaches -- sensitivity to light --
-Amnesia?
-Good luck.
-I'm curious about Bourne. Your interpretation of his condition. You have specific training in the identification and diagnosis of psychological conditions?
-Am I a doctor, no, but...
-Are you an expert in amnesia?
-Look, what do you want me to say? I was there. I believed him.
-Believed what?
-I believed Jason Bourne had suffered a severe traumatic breakdown.
-So he fooled you.
-If you say so.
-Not good enough. You're the person who floated this amnesia story. Ever feel sorry for him? For what he'd been through?
-You're making it out like we're friends here or something. I met him alone twice.
-You felt nothing? No spark? Two young people in Paris? Dangerous missions? Life and death?
-You mean, did I want a date?
-Did you?
-These were killers. Conklin had them all jacked up. They were Dobermans.
-Some women like Dobermans --
-What do you want from me? I was reassigned. I'm out.
-I don't think we need to keep looking for him anyway.
-And why is that?
-Is it fresh?
-What do you think? Is he coming in?
-I don't know. He was sick. He wanted out. I believed him.
-Let's give him half an hour.
-So?
-Do we know what this says?
-Yup... The main word there, the file heading, translates as: Treadstone.
-Anything?
-No. Munich's a bust. He's loose.
-Black coat, possibly leather. Dark slacks. Dark t-shirt. He says they're gonna try and corral the guests on the street over there, and then check them out, but...
-Here's what I've got. Remember Vladimir Neski? Russian politician? Seven years ago, he was due to speak to a group of European Oil ministers here at the hotel. He never did. He was murdered.
-By who?
-His wife. In room 645. Then she shot herself.
-We're looking at all Berlin outbound. Good news is, every train station in Berlin has thirty to forty fixed, digital security cameras. Common feed.
-Are we hacking or asking?
-Yes. In that order.
-Someone dead from this household?
-We just had a funeral, isn't that what it means in England as well?
-What it means in England -- and in Scotland too -- is that rebels have forfeited their lands. We were ambushed last night. But the Scots dragged their dead away.
-My brother and nephew perished two days ago, when their hay cart turned over.
-Then we'll just have a peek at the wounds. Dig 'em up!
-We'll sleep here tonight. You'll come home with me. We'll let the house, and the lands too; plenty of willing neighbors.
-I don't want to leave.
-Did the priest say anything about the Resurrection? Or was it all about Judgment?
-It was in Latin, sir.
-What are they doing?
-But... what will you do?
-I will invade England. And defeat the English on their own ground.
-A thousand. You have made me Guardian of Scotland. So I tell you this is what we face.
-We must sue for peace.
-Peace?!
-We cannot defeat this --
-With cavalry -- not heavy, like the English, but light, fast horsemen, like you nobles employ -- we could outmaneuver their bowmen!
-Sir William. We come to seek a meeting.
-You've all sworn to Longshanks.
-An oath to a liar is no oath at all. An oath to a patriot is a vow indeed. Every man of us is ready to swear loyalty to you.
-So let the council swear publicly.
-I will meet you, but only one way -- if Robert the Bruce is there, and puts his hand on my Bible, and swears his loyalty to Scotland.
-Young Robert, we are honored --
-My father hears that Longshanks has granted prima noctes.
-A wise plan. And how is your father? We have missed him at the council.
-Does anyone know his politics?
-May he rest in peace... You have already sealed the coffin?
-He was a modest man.
-If I pay homage to another's throne, then how am I a king?
-Homage is nothing. It is the crown that matters!
-The crown is that of Scotland. And Scotland is William Wallace.
-He won't come.
-Longshanks promised!
-Scottish rebels have routed Lord Bottoms!
-What news of the north?
-Nothing new, Majesty. We have sent riders to speed any word.
-While I am in France fighting to expand your future kingdom I learn that Stirling castle is lost, our entire northern army wiped out! And you have done nothing?!
-Wallace has sacked York!
-The weapon has been outlawed by the Pope himself!
-Now we kill two birds at one stroke. We recruit from Scotland for our armies in France.
-The Scots will fight for us?
-What choice do they have? Now they must serve us or starve.
-But if we have not caught Wallace --
-His legend grows! It will be worse than before!
-What is it?!
-You directed me to report to you the moment the king's conference was ended.
-So I did! And what was so important about it?
-Shut up, would you! How can I concentrate?!
-...His majesty was quite keen that you should understand --
-No, M'lord.
-Now, my flower, do you understand?
-Yes. I had thought that... I was loathsome to you. Perhaps I am. If I may be excused, M'lord.
-Good day to you, M'Lords.
-You mock us with a smile?
-I am cheerful with a plan to soothe your miseries. All of England shudders with the news of renewed rebellion.
-Wallace's followers.
-The little cow is insane --
-Is it true? Wallace is captured?
-Simply because he eluded your trap, do you think he is more than a man? My father is dying. Perhaps you should think of our coronation.
-When will his trial be?
-I have come to beg for the life of William Wallace.
-You fancy him.
-Nor you. To you that word is as unfamiliar as love.
-I'll wait... back there.
-We make spears. A hundred spears. Fourteen feet long.
-The Bruce is not coming, William.
-Stephen ready?
-Thanks for the food and drink. And for bringing 'em yourselves.
-Rest, William.
-I rest.
-You know it's a trap.
-Probably. But we can't win alone. We know that. This is the only way.
-I don't want to be a martyr.
-Nor I! I want to live! I want a home and children and peace. I've asked god for those things. But He's brought me this sword. And if He wills that I must lay it down to have what He wants for my country, then I'll do that too.
-That's just a dream, William!
-We've lived a dream together. A dream of freedom!
-Your dreams aren't about freedom! They're about Marion! You have to be a hero, because you think she sees you! Is that it?
-Keep these. We're going too.
-They're coming!
-How many?
-Three, maybe more!
-Armed?
-They're English soldiers, ain't they?
-With your father and brother gone, they'll kill us and burn the farm!
-Wanna stay with me tonight?
-I wanna have supper waitin'.
-We'll get those English pigs tomorrow.
-Test of manhood.
-You win.
-Call it a test of soldiery, then. The English won't let us train with weapons, so we train with stones.
-I still say this is no test. A catapult can throw a stone farther than a man can.
-Can you do it when it matters? As it matters in battle? Could you crush a man with that throw?
-You'll move
-Good to see you again.
-All right, Father, I'll ask him! If I risk my neck for you, will I get a chance to kill Englishmen?
-Is your Poppa a ghost -- or do you converse with God Almighty?
-Excellent! Stephen is my name. I'm the most wanted man on the Emerald Isle. Except I'm not on the Emerald Isle of course, more's the pity.
-A common thief.
-We must run in different directions!
-We don't split up!
-I am the one who is rotting. But I think your face looks graver than mine.
-He was so brave. With courage alone he nearly won.
-So more men were slaughtered uselessly!
-He broke because of me. I saw it. He lost all will to fight.
-We must have alliance with England to prevail here. You achieved that! You saved your family, increased your lands! In time you will have all the power in Scotland!... Yet you grieve.
-In my heart I had begun to hope that he would never break.
-Where is my son?
-I sent for him -- and the little coward send you?!
-Shall I leave, M'lord?
-My son's loyal wife returns, unkilled by the heathen. So he accepted our bribe.
-No. He did not.
-Then why does he stay? My scouts say he has not advanced.
-He waits. For you. He says he will attack no more towns -- if you are man enough to come fight him.
-You spoke with this Wallace in private. What kind of man is he?
-...A mindless barbarian. Not a king like you, M'lord.
-The Scottish nobles have sent him no support. His army starves. Our stall has worked, he must withdraw. You may return to your embroidery.
-No. I have it to ease the suffering of the children of this war.
-This is what happens when you must send a woman. And a fool.
-Forgive me, Sire. I thought that generosity might demonstrate your greatness to those you mean to rule.
-I have faced him. Have you?
-Let her speak.
-Treason. Against whom?
-Against thy king, thou vile fool! Hast thou anything to say?
-Never, in my whole life, did I swear allegiance to your king --
-It matters not, he is thy king!
--- while many who serve him have taken and broken his oath many times. I cannot commit treason, if I have never been his subject!
-Confess, and you may receive a quick death. Deny, and you must be purified by pain. Do you confess? ...DO YOU CONFESS?!
-I do not confess.
-Your father doesn't like me, does he?
-It's not you. He dislikes that you're a Wallace. He just says... the Wallaces don't seem to live for very long.
-Thank you for accepting.
-Thank you for inviting.
-I'll invite you again, but your mother thinks I'm crazy.
-You've been here before?
-Some nights. I have dreams. Mostly dreams I don't want. I started riding at night to fill up my mind so that when I did sleep I'd dream only of the ride and the adventure.
-Did it work?
-I want... to marry you!
-I... accept your proposal!
-I'm not just saying it!
-Nor I!
-But I won't give you up to any nobleman.
-You scare me.
-I don't want to scare you. I want to be yours, and you mine. Every night like this one.
-This night is too beautiful to have again.
-I've missed you.
-Shush. It's only been a day. And it's seemed like forever.
-Tonight then.
-Then when?
-I'm dreaming.
-Yes, you are. And you must wake.
-I don't want to wake. I want to stay with you.
-And I with you. But you must wake.
-I need you so much! I love you!
-When the king returns he will bury them in those new clothes. Scotland is in chaos. Your husband is secretly sending an army north.
-How do you know this?
-Last night I slept with a member of the War Council.
-He shouldn't be telling secrets in bed.
-This Scottish rebel... Wallace? He fights to avenge a woman?
-Knowing his passion for his lost love, they next plotted to take him by desecrating the graves of his father and brother and setting an ambush at the grave of his wife. He fought his way through the trap and carried her body to a secret place! Now that is romance, Oui?
-I am the Princess of Wales.
-I come as the king's servant, and with his authority.
-It's battle I want, not talk.
-I understand that you have recently been given the rank of knight.
-I have been given nothing. God makes men what they are.
-Did God make you the sacker of peaceful cities? The executioner of the king's nephew, my husband's own cousin?
-York was the staging point for every invasion of my country. And that royal cousin hanged a hundred Scots, even women and children, from the city walls.
-Let us talk plainly. You invade England. But you cannot complete the conquest, so far from your shelter and supply. The King proposes that you withdraw your attack. In return he grants you title, estates, and this chest with a thousand pounds of gold, which I am to pay to you personally.
-A Lordship. And gold. That I should become Judas.
-Peace is made is such ways.
-I understand you have suffered. I know... about your woman.
-A meeting in a barn. It had to be a trap. And only you would know I would be aware of it.
-Why did you?
-You have... you have a husband.
-You understand. Consider, before you laugh and say no. You will never own a throne, though you deserve one. But just as the sun will rise tomorrow, some man will rule England. And what if his veins ran not with the blood of Longshanks, but with that of a true king?
-I cannot love you for the sake of revenge.
-M'lady... what kindness of you to visit a stranger.
-Sir, I... come to beg you to confess all, and swear allegiance to the king, that he might show you mercy.
-Will he show mercy to my country? Will he take back his soldiers, and let us rule ourselves?
-Mercy... is to die quickly. Perhaps even live in the Tower. In time, who knows what can happen, if you can only live.
-You will die! It will be awful!
-Drink this! It will dull your pain.
-It will numb my wits, and I must have them all. If I'm senseless, or if I wail, then Longshanks will have broken me.
-Wait! ...I respect what you said. But remember, these men have lands, castles. Much to risk.
-And the common man who bleeds on the battlefield, does he risk less?
-No. But from top to bottom this country has no sense of itself. Its nobles share allegiance with England and its clans war with each other. If you make enemies on both sides of the border, you'll end up dead.
-I'm no coward! I want what you want! But we need the nobles.
-War finds me willing. I know it won't bring back all I have lost. But it can bring what none of us have ever had -- a country of our own. For that we need a king. We need you.
-I am trying.
-Then tell me what a king is! Is he a man who believes only what others believe? Is he one who calculates the numbers for and against him but never weighs the strength in your own heart? There is strength in you. I see it. I know it.
-I must... consult with my father.
-We can't stop!
-They've tricked us.
-What's the crazy man saying, Lord?
-The dogs have a scent. My scent. Someone must have given it to them.
-Who would do such a thing?
-I thought I was dead when ya pulled that dagger!
-Fine speech. Now what do we do?
-Come, it'll help you sleep.
-Mrs. Treborn! I need to speak with you!
-I was going to show this to the principal, but I wanted to talk to you first.
-What is it?
-Thank you for showing it to me first. I'll... I'll take care of it. Can I have the picture?
-Of course. There is one more thing, Mrs. Treborn. And I feel bad for mentioning it...
-What?
-And you say he doesn't remember any of it?
-Not according to his teacher. It just got me thinking about Jason and what if Evan's inherited his father's condition?
-Just tell me that Evan doesn't have Jason's illness...
-Look, Andrea, I'm sure he'll test negative for brain disorders. But there's something else you can try to monitor his memory.
-Anything.
-A journal. Just have him write down everything he does.
-Why? What for?
-Well, the good news is that the results are negative. I've found no evidence in the way of lesions, hemorrhaging, tumors...
-And the bad news?
-Unfortunately, we've got nothing to work with. It's harder playing detective now.
-But you must have something to go on?
-If I had to guess, I'd say the blackouts are stress related.
-But he's seven. What kind of stress can he have?
-Plenty. Who knows? Maybe he's got severe coping problems about not having a father. Did you say the last blackout occurred when he was with his friend's dad.
-Come on, I doubt the answer's that simple.
-You'd be surprised how often they are.
-Well, he has been pushing me to meet his father, but I've been putting it off.
-It's worth a shot. I can arrange a controlled meeting. A careful dose of sedatives for Jason, some security, you and I monitoring. Evan comes in for a quick visit and with any luck, no more missing father complex.
-Evan wake up, oh please wake up!
-Actually, these tests weren't available twenty years ago.
-No dances, just tell me.
-We're gonna be late again.
-When did you ever care about getting to school on time?
-Righty-tighty, lefty-lucy.
-Darn it!
-Um... can dad come this time?
-You know the answer to that.
-Can't he come out for one day?
-We've been over this a hundred times. It's too dangerous for him.
-All the dads are gonna be there.
-I get the point, kiddo. But I'm not so bad, am I?
-No.
-I don't like this place, Mom. It's creepy. Please can we go? I promise I won't make any more bad pictures!
-That's why I wanted you to come here, Evan. Dr. Redfield already has a background in memory loss.
-These'll bring you luck, Crockett.
-What happened?
-Honey. What were you doing with that?
-Now your father may seem sleepy to you, but that's just because of his medicine, okay?
-I don't know... I don't remember.
-Something must've happened! What set him off?
-I... I blacked out.
-Please, mom. People will talk.
-I can't help it. I'm just so proud of you. You've got the highest grades in all of your classes.
-Did Da -- Jason --- get good grades?
-Please. He got straight A's without ever touching a book. That was the one area where his memory never failed him.
-Why do you ask?
-No, it's just weird with him being such a brain and all, I just wondered if he was ever able to remember stuff he'd forgotten.
-I couldn't tell if they were real memories or just phantoms. You know, he might only have thought he actually remembered them...
-Sure...
-And then, just before it got so bad that he had to be committed, he said that he could...
-...I spoke to your new lawyer about the appeal. He's sure he can get you off on self-defense, so if you're patient.
-How long will I be in here?
-I don't know. These things take time.
-I found these. The others are still in storage.
-Damn it, Mom. I told you I need them all!
-Okay, doc. What's the damage? How much time have I got?
-What does that mean for Evan?
-There must be a way to fix this.
-Fix?
-You're. Acting. Like your father.
-How. Did you. Know that?
-Just. Like. Jason.
-Best not bitch up. Wind up someone's luggage that way.
-Can you protect me?
-You're religious Carlos, you believe that bit about "the Lord works in mysterious ways?"
-Straight up.
-Because I think he sent me to your cell on purpose. For you to help me.
-Shit. I knew you were crazy.
-So when I'm out, I need you to watch my face and hands closely.
-Just tell me if anything weird happens.
-Weirder than this?
-What did you see? What did it look like?
-Signs of the Lord. They just appeared out of nowhere. I thought you were loco!
-Hello, Evan. It's very nice to meet you. He's as handsome as his father.
-Dad lives here?
-Now I want you to go back to the time you were in the woods with Lenny. Think of it like a movie. You can pause, rewind, or slow down any details you wish. Understand?
-Yes.
-Where are you now?
-I'm standing next to Kayleigh, my hands are over her ears.
-Are you hurting her?
-Okay. Then go a little forward in time. What do you see now?
-Go on. Nothing can hurt you. Remember, this is only a movie. You're completely safe.
-I can't... the car vanishes and all of a sudden I'm on the ground in the woods.
-The car doesn't vanish Evan. The movie in your head has broken, that's all. But now I've re-spliced it and I want you to tell me about the car.
-It's a little complicated. I haven't seen results exactly like these before.
-This is where we're finding most of the hemorrhaging. The outer lining of the cerebral cortex.
-Hey, Evan. What's the big rush? We don't meet for another hour.
-Where are my goddamn books?
-Books?
-Think Evan. You've invented a disease that doesn't exist. Alternate universes with colleges, prisons, paraplegia...
-But I... I need those books.
-You remind me of your father. He always screamed for a photo album even though he never had one.
-Get dressed, Thumper, you're taking me out for my birthday.
-I thought you were a December baby.
-It's an experiment with flatworms and a maze. You take a flatworm and run it through the maze until he's memorized it. Then you put a new flatworm in the maze. He's clueless. Banging into walls, getting lost, whatever.
-Just by absorbing the first worm into its cellular structure, it gets all of the worm's memories.
-You really think he wanted to kill you?
-I never wanted to be in the movie anyway and it was cold so I wanted to wear my clothes but Mr. Miller took his shirt off --
-What the fuck are you doing?
-Are you stupid or what?
-What?
-Whasamatter? Lost your Rolex?
-Huh?
-Get out. Both of you.
-We should go soon. If Dad catches us smoking down here, we're dead.
-Oh God... what did we do?
-I'm sorry Kayleigh. This was a bad idea.
-Ouch.
-It's not your fault. Mrs. Kagan called dad and blamed us for what happened to Lenny.
-I deserve a lot worse.
-I can't believe Tommy's still pissed at me. He knows I'm moving away, right?
-He's been acting real strange lately. He won't even look me in the eyes anymore.
-Did your mom say if Lenny was... okay?
-Welcome home. Thought you might like some fresh air for a change.
-God, Evan! I never thought I'd see you again. How've you been?
-Oh, comme si, comme ca, you know...
-No, Evan. I don't know. It's been a long time. Fill me in.
-Not since we were kids.
-I've stopped a hundred times.
-So how's Tommy?
-No. I emancipated myself when I was fifteen.
-Wow. That must've taken some courage.
-Not if you remember my dad.
-Couldn't you have moved in with your mom?
-Actually, Kayleigh, the reason I came back to town was to talk to you.
-Me? Are you kidding? Why?
-Remember when I was a kid I had all these blackouts?
-Of course.
-Well, lately some of the memories have begun to come back and I'd kinda like to talk to you about one of them in particular. It'd be a big help.
-Well, sure. I'll try to remember. Shoot.
-When we were kids. Your dad was making a movie. Robin Hood or something?
-What do you want to know, Evan?
-It's just... did he... what happened in the basement?
-It was a long time ago.
-I know, but...
-Is that why you came all the way back? To ask a lot of stupid questions about Robin Hood?
-Just shut up, Evan. You're wasting your breath.
-You can't hate yourself just because your dad's a twisted freak.
-Jesus, Kayleigh, you're... Incredible.
-Where... where are my clothes?
-Hey, uh, don't go freaking out on me over this, but do you remember when your dad first got his video camera?
-Well I remember he had one... but he, like, put it away after the first day. Why would that freak me out?
-Oh my God, that was good. Where'd you learn all those new tricks?
-So it didn't feel... weird?
-What do you think it is about us that makes us so perfect? Like, looking back, whatever gave you the nerve to sneak out and visit me after I moved away?
-I don't understand, where are you taking me?
-I don't know what to say. It's beautiful.
-Why are you doing all this for me?
-It's my fault. I should have told you he was released a few weeks ago.
-Might'a been nice. Like this is gonna do any good. Maybe one of the frat guys has a gun.
-Please, Evan. Don't even joke. He wouldn't hurt you. He's just trying to scare you away from me.
-Yeah, right. Tell that to Crockett.
-It's not his fault, Evan. You knew how bad he had it when we were kids.
-Don't give me this Oprah-book club bad upbringing shit, because you turned out fine.
-Are you okay?
-What do you mean?
-It's just... you've been acting kinda strange, you know?
-Like how?
-I don't know. You seem... different. You make weird jokes. Your accents changed. You don't even walk the same.
-I walk differently?
-I can't put my finger on it, but everything's a bit off. Even the dinner tonight. It was beautiful, but...
-Wait. Something's not right. Isn't that your jacket?
-Evan, stop! You're gonna kill him!
-I want you to take this, Lenny. Today's your day of atonement. I know how guilty you feel about that woman and her baby --
-Evan. Stop it. It's not the time.
-Oh, I thought you were my eight o'clock. Make it fast, I'm expecting someone.
-So how's tricks? Sorry, occupational humor.
-I get it. You can drop it now.
-Oh, I'm sorry. Does my line of work make you uncomfortable, precious?
-No. Just that you need to hurt me with it. I've been where you've been.
-Ha! Where's that?
-What's happened to you?
-You wouldn't believe me. I mean, people always say, "You wouldn't believe me", but in this case, it's not even worth trying.
-I've seen some sickening shit. I don't blink twice anymore, especially in your case.
-Why's that?
-Because you're... different.
-Different? How?
-Let me ask you a question. Just a little one that's been gnawing at me for years.
-Yeah?
-On the bridge. How did you know that Tommy had your dog? That was no fucking hunch.
-You're right, Evan, I don't believe you.
-I never thought you would. That's why I've never bothered to tell a soul until now, and why I never will again.
-I'm the only person you've told? That's a great line. Does that make other girls swoon? Do they actually eat up this bullshit?
-I couldn't give a shit if you believe me or not, and frankly I'm too tired to prove it to you.
-Oh? There's proof now?
-Shit. I dunno. How would I know about the twin moles on your inner thigh?
-Anyone with fifty bucks could tell you that.
-I just thought you should know.
-Know what?
-There's one major hole in your story.
-Which is?
-Sure you don't want your wallet?
-Don't think I'll need it where I'm going.
-Off to change everyone's life again, is that it? Maybe this time you'll pop up in some mansion while I wind up in Tijuana doing the donkey act.
-I'm over it. Whenever I try to help anyone it all turns to shit.
-Where are we going?
-We have to get you to Sunnyvale. You're having one of your famous hemorrhages.
-You know how spiritual he's gotten ever since he saved Mrs. Halpern and Katie.
-Is something the matter?
-Kayleigh? Do you ever think about "us?" I mean, wonder if it could ever have been different between the two of us?
-Sure, Evan, why not? You were the first person I really ever cared about.
-I was?
-That's why when I was little I never went to live with my mother.
-I don't get it.
-When my folks split, they gave me and Tommy a choice who we wanted to live with. I couldn't stand my dad, but I knew if I moved to my mom's I'd never see you again.
-I never knew that. So then you still sometimes think of us... together?
-It's crossed my mind from time to time.
-And...?
-Well a lot of things cross my mind. I've always been a fast thinker, Ev. I can play out the movie of our entire lives in under a second. Boom -- we fall in love -- get married -- two kids, your keen analytical insight matched to my generous nature -- kids grow old as do we, relatively stable relationships, matching burial plots, the
-Then you think it might have worked out?
-We're really gonna be in a movie!?
-Where am I? What happened? Where did we all go?
-I was just somewhere else -- how did I get here?
-Quit acting like some retard or I'll call your mother and tell her what a naughty little shit you've been.
-What time is it?
-It's time for you to stand where the hell I told you.
-What's happened to -- How are you doing that?
-It'll change your daughter from a beautiful child into an empty shell whose only concept of trust was betrayed by her own sick pedophile father. Ultimately, it'll lead to her suicide. Nice work, daddy.
-Let's just say you're being closely watched, George. Your other option is to get your porn off the rack and treat Kayleigh like... oh, let's say like how a loving father treats his daughter. Sound okay to you, Papa?
-...yes.
-Easy does it, Evan! Don't be a bad boy or I'll tell mommy you were naughty.
-That's dangerous! You could blow your hands off!
-It's okay. I won't bite. You've seen pictures of me, right?
-Are you okay? You looked like you were somewhere else for a second there.
-I was praying this curse would have ended with me.
-But it didn't. And now I need info to make things right again and you're the only one who can give it to me.
-There is no "right". When you change who people are, you destroy who they were.
-You can't play God, son. It must end with me. Just by being here, you may be killing your mother.
-Evan, you're hysterical. You study for this?
-We'll find out soon enough.
-You're kidding. Are these the answers?!
-Damn, Evan, on the D.L.
-Thanks. Wow. Hey, I want to do something really special for Kayleigh tomorrow. If I said I needed some help from you and the brothers...
-I'm not sure. I might have gotten some stories mixed up. Did Pavlov condition his dogs to lick his nuts?
-Typical psych major. A complete wise ass. And how's your project coming? Still planning to change the way we humble scientists view memory assimilation?
-Whoa! Didn't mean to scare you, Evan. Just wanted to know how the flatworms project was coming.
-Oh, fine I guess. It's been kind of crazy lately with my mom coming up, so I haven't...
-Just don't drop the ball, okay?
-Remember, everyone! Only two weeks until your science projects are due.
-I still owe you an essay from last week. Is there any way I could get an extension?
-And you are...?
-Evan Treborn.
-So what's the point?
-Smells like sex in here.
-Thumper had a busy afternoon.
-Most guys tuck their porn under here, but all you have are... comp books.
-Yeah. I've been keeping journals since I was seven.
-Freeze! No "worm-boy". No "Mr. Worm," and no "Worm-Master-General!" Once you get a nickname like that you can't shake it. And I don't want everyone thinking I've got tapeworms coming out of my ass or something, okay?
-Come on, go on...
-It didn't feel like a dream.
-Can... can... Can I have this?
-That should buy you ten minutes at least.
-I couldn't cut the rope.
-Yeah, good, what else do you remember?
-You knew the whole time, didn't you? When you put the blade in my hand, you knew something big was going to happen. Didn't you?!
-Uh, we should be getting to class now.
-Are you sure you even packed it?
-What do you need it for? I don't get you lately.
-Duly noted. Now I'm gonna ask you for one last favor.
-What?
-Shhh. I need to concentrate on the blockbuster if I'm gonna destroy it.
-Destroy it?
-Hey, what'd you do that for?
-Tommy, I'm bored shitless over here. What's up already?
-Hurry! Let's go! Get him up, Evan! Come on!
-Look what you made me do!
-Leave us alone you sick fuck!
-What the hell are you doing?
-It wasn't enough that the whole world loves you, but you had to take away the last person on earth who didn't think I was a piece of shit.
-No one thinks you're a piece of shit, Tommy.
-Listen to me good, Evan...
-I did what you said, man! We're pooling our student funds with Hillel House and we're going to have an Awareness Dance.
-Lung cancer?
-Mom. Don't cry. I can change this.
-Just get out, didja?
-Huh?
-Nothing. Just that my brother did a stint in the pen and he used to eat like that.
-I come from a big family.
-Meant no offense.
-None taken. Hey, uh, does Kayleigh Miller still work here?
-Evan, guess what? Dad got a new video camera and we're all gonna be in a movie.
-I don't think Evan gets to be in it --
-Quit it, Tommy. Evan gets to be Robin Hood. I'm gonna be Maid Marian, and you're the Sheriff of Nottingham!
-I thought I was the bad guy!
-What did I say about mentioning that bitch?
-Where the hell are you taking us anyway? Just blow something up already.
-Wipe that sad-assed look off your face before you get us all busted. You see the way Evan's mom was looking at you?
-Lenny? Come on!
-Shut up, Tommy!
-You put the mommy too far away. Mrs. Boswell has macaroni and glue if you wanna fix it.
-Here you go, buddy.
-What? No frigging way, man. I'm not touching that thing.
-The hell you aren't. Anyone of us does it, you'll puss out and narc for sure.
-Maybe it went out. Should someone check it?
-Monsieur Rick?
-Yes?
-How did you get in here? You're under age.
-I came with Captain Renault.
-I should have known.
-My husband is with me, too.
-No, of course not. Do you mind if I do?
-Monsieur Rick, what kind of man is Captain Renault?
-Oh, he's just like any other man, only more so.
-No, I mean, is he trustworthy? Is his word --
--- Now, just a minute. Who told you to ask me that?
-He did. Captain Renault did.
-I thought so. Where's your husband?
-How long have you been married?
-Eight weeks. We come from Bulgaria. Oh, things are very bad there, Monsieur. A devil has the people by the throat. So, Jan and I, we, we do not want our children to grow up in such a country.
-So you decided to go to America.
-Yes, but we have not much money, and traveling is so expensive and difficult. It was much more than we thought to get here. And then Captain Renault sees us and he is so kind. He wants to help us.
-Yes, I'll bet.
-He tells me he can give us an exit visa, but we have no money.
-Does he know that?
-Oh, yes.
-And he is still willing to give you a visa?
-Yes, Monsieur.
-And you want to know --
--- Will he keep his word?
-Nobody ever loved me that much.
-And he never knew, and the girl kept this bad thing locked in her heart? That would be all right, wouldn't it?
-You want my advice?
-Oh, yes, please.
-Go back to Bulgaria.
-Oh, but if you knew what it means to us to leave Europe, to get to America! Oh, but if Jan should find out! He is such a boy. In many ways I am so much older than he is.
-Monsieur Rick, I --
-Excuse me, but you look like a couple who are on their way to America.
-You will find a market there for this ring. I am forced to sell it at a great sacrifice.
-Thank you, but I hardly think --
-Good.
-What is your name?
-Such a bargain. But that is your decision?
-Mr. Berger, the ring, could I see it again?
-Yes, Monsieur.
-I recognize you from the news photographs, Monsieur Laszlo.
-In a concentration camp, one is apt to lose a little weight.
-We read five times that you were killed in five different places.
-I see.
-Monsieur Rick, may I get you a cup of coffee?
-No thanks, Carl.
-Well, you are in pretty good shape, Herr Rick.
-How long can I afford to stay closed?
-Oh, two weeks, maybe three.
-Maybe I won't have to. A bribe has worked before. In the meantime, everybody stays on salary.
-Now you finish locking up, will you, Carl?
-I will. Then I am going to the meeting of the --
--- Don't tell me where you're going.
-I won't.
-Goodnight.
-The police break up our meeting. Herr Rick! We escaped in the last moment.
-Yes, I come.
-I want you to turn out the light in the rear entrance. It might attract the police.
-But Sacha always puts out that light --
--- Tonight he forgot.
-I want you to take Miss Lund home.
-Excuse me, Monsieur Rick, but a gentleman inside has won twenty thousand francs. The cashier would like some money.
-Well, I'll get it from the safe.
-I am so upset, Monsieur Rick. You know I can't understand --
--- Forget it, Emil. Mistakes like that happen all the time.
-Here you are.
-It shall not happen again, Monsieur.
-Here's to you, sir.
-Er, good luck, yes.
-I'd better be going.
-Er, my check, please.
-Er, goodbye, sir.
-Hello, Rick.
-Hello, Ferrari. How's business at the Blue Parrot?
-Fine, but I would like to buy your cafe.
-It's not for sale.
-You haven't heard my offer.
-It's not for sale at any price.
-What do you want for Sam?
-I don't buy or sell human beings.
-That's too bad. That's Casablanca's leading commodity. In refugees alone we could make a fortune if you would work with me through the black market.
-Suppose you run your business and let me run mine.
-Suppose we ask Sam. Maybe he'd like to make a change.
-Suppose we do.
-I see the bus is in. I'll take my shipment with me.
-No hurry. I'll have it sent over. Have a drink with me.
-I never drink in the morning. And every time you send my shipment over, it's always just a little bit short.
-The bourbon. The news about Ugarte upset me very much.
-Of course not. What upsets me is the fact that Ugarte is dead and no one knows where those letters of transit are.
-Practically no one.
-If I could lay my hands on those letters, I could make a fortune.
-So could I. And I'm a poor businessman.
-I have a proposition for whoever has those letters. I will handle the entire transaction, get rid of the letters, take all the risk, for a small percentage.
-And the carrying charges?
-Naturally there will be a few incidental expenses. That is the proposition I have for whoever has those letters.
-I'll tell him when he comes in.
-Rick, I'll put my cards on the table. I think you know where those letters are.
-That's why I came over here to give them a chance to ransack my place.
-Shall we draw up the papers, or is our handshake good enough?
-Ah, to get out of Casablanca and go to America! You're a lucky man.
-Oh, by the way, my agreement with Sam's always been that he gets twenty- five percent of the profits. That still goes.
-Hmmm. I happen to know that he gets ten percent. But he's worth twenty- five.
-And Abdul and Carl and Sacha, they stay with the place, or I don't sell.
-Of course they stay. Rick's wouldn't be Rick's without them.
-Don't forget, you owe Rick's a hundred cartons of American cigarettes.
-You see, my dear, the word has gone around.
-As leader of all illegal activities in Casablanca, I am an influential and respected man. It would not be worth my life to do anything for Monsieur Laszlo. You, however, are a different matter.
-I will stay here and keep on trying. I'm sure in a little while --
-We've decided, Signor Ferrari. For the present we'll go on looking for two exit visas. Thank you very much.
-I observe that you in one respect are a very fortunate man, Monsieur. I am moved to make one more suggestion, why, I do not know, because it cannot possibly profit me, but, have you heard about Signor Ugarte and the letters of transit?
-Yes, something.
-Do you know where they are?
-Rick?
-He is a difficult customer, that Rick. One never knows what he'll do or why. But it is worth a chance.
-It was gracious of you to share it with me. Good day, Mademoiselle, Monsieur.
-And Mademoiselle?
-Mademoiselle, after this disturbance it is not safe for Laszlo to stay in Casablanca.
-This morning you implied it was not safe for him to leave Casablanca.
-That is also true, except for one destination, to return to occupied France.
-Occupied France?
-Uh huh. Under a safe conduct from me.
-What value is that? You may recall what German guarantees have been worth in the past.
-There are only two other alternatives for him.
-What are they?
-It is possible the French authorities will find a reason to put him in the concentration camp here.
-And the other alternative?
--- It was "La Belle Aurore."
-How nice. You remembered. But of course, that was the day the Germans marched into Paris.
-Not an easy day to forget.
-No.
-I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.
-Say goodnight to Sam for me.
-I will.
-There's still nobody in the world who can play "As Time Goes By" like Sam.
-Who are you really? And what were you before? What did you do and what did you think? Huh?
-We said "no questions."
-A franc for your thoughts.
-In America they'd bring only a penny. I guess that's about all they're worth.
-I'm willing to be overcharged. Tell me.
-And I was wondering.
-Yes?
-Why I'm so lucky. Why I should find you waiting for me to come along.
-Why there is no other man in my life?
-Uh huh.
-That's easy. There was. He's dead.
-I'm sorry for asking. I forgot we said "no questions."
-Richard, they'll find out your record. It won't be safe for you here.
-My German's a little rusty.
-With the whole world crumbling, we pick this time to fall in love.
-Yeah. It's pretty bad timing. Where were you, say, ten years ago?
-Ten years ago? Let's see... ...Yes. I was having a brace put on my teeth. Where were you?
-Was that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?
-Strange. I know so very little about you.
-But be serious, darling. You are in danger and you must leave Paris.
-No, no, no, no. We must leave.
-Yes, of course, we --
--- The train for Marseilles leaves at five o'clock. I'll pick you up at your hotel at four-thirty.
-No, no. Not at my hotel. I, uh, I have things to do in the city before I leave. I'll meet you at the station, huh?
-That's too far ahead to plan.
-Yes, I guess it is a little too far ahead. Well, let's see. What about the engineer? Why can't he marry us on the train?
-Well, why not? The captain on a ship can. It doesn't seem fair that... Hey, hey, what's wrong, kid?
-Oh. I saved my first drink to have with you. Here.
-No. No, Rick. Not tonight.
-Please.
-Why did you have to come to Casablanca? There are other places.
-I wouldn't have come if I had known that you were here. Believe me, Rick, it's true. I didn't know.
-It's funny about your voice, how it hasn't changed. I can still hear it. "Richard dear, I'll go with you any place. We'll get on a train together and never stop."
-Please don't. Don't, Rick. I can understand how you feel.
-Huh! You understand how I feel. How long was it we had, honey?
-I didn't count the days.
-Can I tell you a story, Rick?
-Has it got a wow finish?
-I don't know the finish yet.
-Well, go on, tell it. Maybe one will come to you as you go along.
-It's about a girl who had just come to Paris from her home in Oslo. At the house of some friends she met a man about whom she'd heard her whole life, a very great and courageous man. He opened up for her a whole beautiful world full of knowledge and thoughts and ideals. Everything she knew or ever became was because of him.
-I'm sorry I was in no condition to receive you when you called on me last night.
-Why did you come back? To tell me why you ran out on me at the railway station?
-Yes.
-Well, you can tell me now. I'm reasonably sober.
-I don't think I will, Rick.
-Why not? After all, I got stuck with a railway ticket. I think I'm entitled to know.
-Last night I saw what has happened to you. The Rick I knew in Paris, I could tell him. He'd understand. But the one who looked at me with such hatred... well, I'll be leaving Casablanca soon and we'll never see each other again. We knew very little about each other when we were in love in Paris. If we leave it that way,
-Did you run out on me because you couldn't take it? Because you knew what it would be like, hiding from the police, running away all the time?
-You can believe that if you want to.
-All the same, someday you'll lie to Laszlo. You'll be there.
-How did you get in?
-I told you this morning you'd come around, but this is a little ahead of schedule. Well, won't you sit down?
-Richard, I had to see you.
-You use "Richard" again? We're back in Paris.
-Please.
-Your unexpected visit isn't connected by any chance with the letters of transit? It seems that as long as I have those letters I'll never be lonely.
-You can ask any price you want, but you must give me those letters.
-I went through all that with your husband. It's no deal.
-I know how you feel about me, but I'm asking you to put your feelings aside for something more important.
-Do I have to hear again what a great man your husband is? What an important cause he's fighting for?
-It was your cause, too. In your own way, you were fighting for the same thing.
-Richard, Richard, we loved each other once. If those days meant anything at all to you --
--- I wouldn't bring up Paris if I were you. It's poor salesmanship.
-Please. Please listen to me. If you knew what really happened, if you only knew the truth --
-No. Oh, Richard, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but, but you, you are our last hope. If you don't help us, Victor Laszlo will die in Casablanca.
--- All right. I tried to reason with you. I tried everything. Now I want those letters. Get them for me.
-I don't have to. I've got them right here.
-Put them on the table.
-No.
-For the last time, put them on the table.
-And then?
-It wasn't long after we were married that Victor went back to Czechoslovakia. They needed him in Prague, but there the Gestapo were waiting for him. Just a two-line item in the paper: "Victor Laszlo apprehended. Sent to concentration camp." I was frantic. For months I tried to get word. Then it came. He was dead, shot trying to escape. I was lonely. I
-Oh, it wasn't my secret, Richard. Victor wanted it that way. Not even our closest friends knew about our marriage. That was his way of protecting me. I knew so much about his work, and if the Gestapo found out I was his wife it would be dangerous for me and for those working with me.
-When did you first find out he was alive?
-Just before you and I were to leave Paris together. A friend came and told me that Victor was alive. They were hiding him in a freight car on the outskirts of Paris. He was sick, he needed me. I wanted to tell you, but I, I didn't care. I knew, I knew you wouldn't have left Paris, and the Gestapo would have caught
-Huh. But it's still a story without an ending. What about now?
-Now? I don't know. I know that I'll never have the strength to leave you again.
-And Laszlo?
-Oh, you'll help him now, Richard, won't you? You'll see that he gets out? Then he'll have his work, all that he's been living for.
-I can't fight it anymore. I ran away from you once. I can't do it again. Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. You'll have to think for both of us, for all of us.
-All right, I will. Here's looking at you, kid.
-Richard, Victor thinks I'm leaving with him. Haven't you told him?
-No, not yet.
-But it's all right, isn't it? You were able to arrange everything?
-Everything is quite all right.
-But why my name, Richard?
-Because you're getting on that plane.
-I don't understand. What about you?
-No, Richard, no. What has happened to you? Last night we said --
--- Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then and it all adds up to one thing. You're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.
-But Richard, no, I, I --
-I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it.
-No.
-Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.
-But what about us?
-We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we'd lost it, until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
-And I said I would never leave you.
-Yes.
-Hello, Sam.
-It's been a long time.
-Yes, ma'am. A lot of water under the bridge.
-Some of the old songs, Sam.
-Where is Rick?
-When will he be back?
-Not tonight no more. He ain't coming. Uh, he went home.
-Does he always leave so early?
-Oh, he never... well... he's got a girl up at the Blue Parrot. He goes up there all the time.
-You used to be a much better liar, Sam.
-Leave him alone, Miss Ilsa. You're bad luck to him.
-Play it once, Sam, for old time's sake.
-I don't know what you mean, Miss Ilsa.
-Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By."
-Victor, I, I feel somehow we shouldn't stay here.
-You are very kind.
-This time they really mean to stop me.
-Victor, I'm afraid for you.
-I must find out what Berger knows.
-Be careful.
-Goodnight.
-Goodnight.
-We are only interested in two visas, Signor.
-Please, Ilsa, don't be hasty.
-No, Ilsa, I won't let you stay here. You must get to America. And believe me, somehow I will get out and join you.
-But, Victor, if the situation were different, if I had to stay and there were only a visa for one, would you take it?
-Yes, I see. When I had trouble getting out of Lille, why didn't you leave me there? And when I was sick in Marseilles and held you up for two weeks and you were in danger every minute of the time, why didn't you leave me then?
-He does. Could we have a table close to him?
-What happened with Rick?
-Our faithful friend is still there.
-Victor, please, don't go to the underground meeting tonight.
-Don't joke. After Major Strasser's warning tonight, I am frightened.
-Whatever I'd say, you'd carry on. Victor, why don't you tell me about Rick? What did you find out?
-Apparently he has the letters.
-Yes?
-Did he give any reason?
-He suggested I ask you.
-Ask me?
-Ilsa, I --
--- Yes?
-Yes, Victor, I was.
-I know how it is to be lonely. Is there anything you wish to tell me?
-No, Victor, there isn't.
-Yes, Yes I know. Victor, whatever I do, will you believe that I, that --
-Be careful.
-Are you ready Ilsa?
-Captain, the boy who is playing the piano, somewhere I have seen him.
-Sam?
-Yes.
-He came from Paris with Rick.
-Rick? Who's he?
-Mademoiselle, you are in Rick's and Rick is --
--- Is what?
-Hello, Rick.
-Well then, perhaps you also ---
-I can't get over you two. She was asking about you earlier, Rick, in a way that made me extremely jealous.
-I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.
-How do you do?
-How do you do?
-One hears a great deal about Rick in Casablanca.
-And about Victor Laszlo everywhere.
-And I congratulate you.
-What for?
-Your work.
-Thank you. I try.
-I hope we didn't overstay our welcome.
-We'll come again.
-Good morning.
-Good evening.
-Good evening. You see, here we are again.
-Monsieur Blaine, I wonder if I could talk to you?
-Go ahead.
-Well, isn't there some other place? It's rather confidential, what I have to say.
-My office.
-You must know it's very important I get out of Casablanca. It's my privilege to be one of the leaders of a great movement. You know what I have been doing. You know what it means to the work, to the lives of thousands and thousands of people that I be free to reach America and continue my work.
-I'm not interested in politics. The problems of the world are not in my department. I'm a saloon keeper.
-My friends in the underground tell me that you have quite a record. You ran guns to Ethiopia. You fought against the fascists in Spain.
-What of it?
-Isn't it strange that you always happened to be fighting on the side of the underdog?
-Are you enough of a businessman to appreciate an offer of a hundred thousand francs?
-I appreciate it, but I don't accept it.
-I'll raise it to two hundred thousand.
-My friend, you could make it a million francs, or three, my answer would still be the same.
-There must be some reason why you won't let me have them.
-There is. I suggest that you ask your wife.
-I beg your pardon?
-I said, ask your wife.
-Well, this might come in handy.
-Thank you.
-Had a close one, eh?
-Don't you sometimes wonder if it's worth all this? I mean what you're fighting for?
-We might as well question why we breathe. If we stop breathing, we'll die. If we stop fighting our enemies, the world will die.
-You know how you sound, Monsieur Blaine? Like a man who's trying to convince himself of something he doesn't believe in his heart. Each of us has a destiny, for good or for evil.
-I wonder if you do. I wonder if you know that you're trying to escape from yourself and that you'll never succeed.
-You seem to know all about my destiny.
-I know a good deal more about you than you suspect. I know, for instance, that you are in love with a woman. It is perhaps strange that we both should be in love with the same woman. The first evening I came here in this cafe, I knew there was something between you and Ilsa. Since no one is to blame, I, I
-You love her that much?
-Monsieur Blaine, I don't know how to thank you.
-I brought the money, Monsieur Blaine.
-Keep it. You'll need it in America.
-But we made a deal.
-Oh, never mind about that. You won't have any trouble in Lisbon, will you?
-No. It's all arranged.
-Everything in order?
-All except one thing. There's something you should know before you leave.
-Monsieur Blaine, I don't ask you to explain anything.
-I'm going to anyway, because it may make a difference to you later on. You said you knew about Ilsa and me.
-Yes.
-I understand.
-Monsieur Laszlo, is it not?
-Yes.
-I am Captain Renault, Prefect of Police.
-Yes. What is it you want?
-Merely to welcome you to Casablanca and wish you a pleasant stay. It is not often we have so distinguished a visitor.
-Thank you. I hope you'll forgive me, Captain, but the present French administration has not always been so cordial. May I present Miss Ilsa Lund?
-No, Captain, please.
-Let us say that it is my request. That is a much more pleasant word.
-My bill.
-Well! A precedent is being broken. Er, Emil!
-Ricky, you're becoming quite human. I suppose we have to thank you for that, Mademoiselle.
-Ilsa, I don't wish to be the one to say it, but it's late.
-Tomorrow at ten at the Prefect's office.
-We'll be there.
-I am delighted to see you both. Did you have a good night's rest?
-I slept very well.
-That's strange. Nobody is supposed to sleep well in Casablanca.
-May we proceed with the business?
-With pleasure. Won't you sit down?
-I am afraid not. My regrets, Monsieur.
-And the honor of having served the Third Reich.
-Monsieur, insofar as it is in my power --
--- Thank you.
-By the way, Monsieur, last night you evinced an interest in Signor Ugarte.
-Yes.
-I believe you have a message for him?
-I am making out the report now. We haven't quite decided whether he committed suicide or died trying to escape.
-I'm sure you'll excuse me if I am not gracious, but you see, Major Strasser, I'm a Czechoslovakian.
-I've never accepted that privilege, and I'm now on French soil.
-I should like to discuss some matters arising from your presence on French soil.
-This is hardly the time or the place.
-Then we shall state another time and another place. Tomorrow at ten in the Prefect's office, with Mademoiselle.
-Very well, Herr Laszlo, we will not mince words. You are an escaped prisoner of the Reich. So far you have been fortunate enough in eluding us. You have reached Casablanca. It is my duty to see that you stay in Casablanca.
-Whether or not you succeed is, of course, problematical.
-Is that all you wish to tell us?
-Don't be in such a hurry. You have all the time in the world. You may be in Casablanca indefinitely... or you may leave for Lisbon tomorrow, on one condition.
-And that is?
-You know the leaders of the underground movement in Paris, in Prague, in Brussels, in Amsterdam, in Oslo, in Belgrade, in Athens.
-Even in Berlin.
-You will give us the names?
-And what if you track down these men and kill them? What if you murdered all of us? From every corner of Europe, hundreds, thousands, would rise to take our places. Even Nazis can't kill that fast.
-Herr Laszlo, you have a reputation for eloquence which I can now understand. But in one respect you are mistaken. You said the enemies of the Reich could all be replaced, but there is one exception. No one could take your place in the event anything unfortunate should occur to you while you were trying to escape.
-For the time being.
-Unoccupied France welcomes you to Casablanca.
-Thank you, Captain. It's very good to be here.
-You may find the climate of Casablanca a trifle warm, Major.
-Oh, we Germans must get used to all climates, from Russia to the Sahara. But perhaps you were not referring to the weather.
-What else, my dear Major?
-By the way, the murder of the couriers, what has been done?
-Oh, there is no hurry. Tonight he'll be at Rick's. Everybody comes to Rick's.
-Good evening, gentlemen.
-Thank you. It is a pleasure to have you here, Major.
-Champagne and a tin of caviar.
-May I recommend Veuve Cliquot '26, a good French wine.
-Especially so tonight, Major. In a few minutes you will see the arrest of the man who murdered your couriers.
-Rick, this is Major Heinrich Strasser of the Third Reich.
-You repeat "Third Reich" as though you expected there to be others.
-Well, personally, Major, I will take what comes.
-Ho, diplomatist!
-Rick is completely neutral about everything. And that takes in the field of women, too.
-Of course, one must admit he has great courage.
-You see, Major, you have nothing to worry about Rick.
-Mademoiselle.
-I strongly suspect that Ugarte left the letters of transit with Mr. Blaine. I would suggest you search the cafe immediately and thoroughly.
-If Rick has the letters, he's much too smart to let you find them there.
-You give him credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering American.
-As to Laszlo, we want him watched twenty-four hours a day.
-You see, Captain, the situation is not as much under control as you believe.
-Captain Renault, are you entirely certain which side you're on?
-I have no conviction, if that's what you mean. I blow with the wind, and the prevailing wind happens to be from Vichy.
-We are concerned about more than Casablanca. We know that every French province in Africa is honeycombed with traitors waiting for their chance, waiting, perhaps, for a leader.
-A leader, like Laszlo?
-Uh, huh. I have been thinking. It is too dangerous if we let him go. It may be too dangerous if we let him stay.
-You see what I mean? If Laszlo's presence in a cafe can inspire this unfortunate demonstration, what more will his presence in Casablanca bring on? I advise that this place be shut up at once.
-But everybody's having such a good time.
-Yes, much too good a time. The place is to be closed.
-But I have no excuse to close it.
-What is the meaning of that phone call?
-Why do you stand here? Why don't you stop him?
-Hello, Louis.
-You know, I think now I shall pay a call on Yvonne, maybe get her on the rebound, eh?
-The plane to Lisbon. You would like to be on it?
-Why? What's in Lisbon?
-It was a combination of all three.
-And what in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
-My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
-Waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
-I was misinformed.
-Rick, there's going to be some excitement here tonight. We are going to make an arrest in your cafe.
-What, again?
-If you are thinking of warning him, don't put yourself out. He cannot possibly escape.
-I stick my neck out for nobody.
-You know, Rick, we could have made this arrest earlier in the evening at the Blue Parrot, but out of my high regard for you we are staging it here. It will amuse your customers.
-I see. And what's Strasser doing here? He certainly didn't come all the way to Casablanca to witness a demonstration of your efficiency.
-How observant you are. As a matter of fact, I wanted to give you a word of advice.
-Yeah? Have a brandy?
-Thank you. Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this cafe, but we know that you have never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to remain open.
-I thought it was because we let you win at roulette.
-That is another reason. There is a man who's arrived in Casablanca on his way to America. He will offer a fortune to anyone who will furnish him with an exit visa.
-Yeah? What's his name?
-Victor Laszlo.
-Rick, that is the first time I have ever seen you so impressed.
-Well, he's succeeded in impressing half the world.
-It is my duty to see that he doesn't impress the other half. Rick, Laszlo must never reach America. He stays in Casablanca.
-It'll be interesting to see how he manages.
-Manages what?
-His escape.
-Oh, but I just told you. --
--- Stop it. He escaped from a concentration camp and the Nazis have been chasing him all over Europe.
-This is the end of the chase.
-Is that a serious offer?
-I just paid out twenty. I'd like to get it back.
-Make it ten. I am only a poor corrupt official.
-Okay.
-Done. No matter how clever he is, he still needs an exit visa, or I should say, two.
-Why two?
-He is traveling with a lady.
-He'll take one.
-I think not. I have seen the lady. And if he did not leave her in Marseilles, or in Oran, he certainly won't leave her in Casablanca.
-Maybe he's not quite as romantic as you are.
-It doesn't matter. There is no exit visa for him.
-Louis, whatever gave you the impression that I might be interested in helping Laszlo escape?
-Oh, laugh if you will, but I happen to be familiar with your record. Let me point out just two items. In 1935 you ran guns to Ethiopia. In 1936, you fought in Spain on the Loyalist side.
-And got well paid for it on both occasions.
-The winning side would have paid you much better.
-Maybe. Well, it seems you are determined to keep Laszlo here.
-I have my orders.
-Yeah, you were saying?
-Oh, how do you do?
-That makes Rick a citizen of the world.
-Well, you were asking about Rick and here he is. Mademoiselle, may I present --
-Oh, no, Rick never --
-Oh, it's my party.
-Well, Ricky. I'm very pleased with you. Now you're beginning to live like a Frenchman.
-Well, I told Strasser he wouldn't find the letters here. But I told my men to be especially destructive. You know how that impresses Germans? Rick, have you got these letters of transit?
-Louis, are you pro-Vichy or Free French?
-Serves me right for asking a direct question. The subject is closed.
-Well, it looks like you're a little late.
-So Yvonne's gone over to the enemy.
-As I suspected, you're a rank sentimentalist.
-Yeah? Why?
-Why do you interfere with my little romances?
-Put it down as a gesture to love.
-How can you close me up? On what grounds?
-But you haven't any actual proof, and you know it. This isn't Germany or occupied France. All you can do is fine him a few thousand francs and give him thirty days. You might as well let him go now.
-Ricky, I'd advise you not to be too interested in what happens to Laszlo. If by any chance you were to help him escape --
--- What makes you think I'd stick my neck out for Laszlo?
-Because one, you've bet ten thousand francs he'd escape. Two, you have the letters of transit, now don't bother to deny it. And, well, you might do it simply because you don't like Strasser's looks. As a matter of fact, I don't like him either.
-Well, they're all excellent reasons.
-Don't count too much on my friendship, Ricky. In this matter I'm powerless. Besides, I might lose ten thousand francs.
-You're not very subtle, but you are effective. I, I get the point. Yes, I have the letters, but I intend using them myself. I'm leaving Casablanca on tonight's plane, the last plane.
-Huh?
-And I'm taking a friend with me. One you'll appreciate.
-What friend?
-Ilsa Lund. That ought to put your mind to rest about my helping Laszlo escape. The last man I want to see in America.
-Ilsa is Laszlo's wife. She probably knows things that Strasser would like to know. Louis, I'll make a deal with you. Instead of this petty charge you have against him, you can get something really big, something that would chuck him in a concentration camp for years. That would be quite a feather in your cap, wouldn't it?
-It certainly would. Germany... Vichy would be very grateful.
-I'll arrange to have Laszlo come there to pick up the letters of transit, and that'll give you the criminal grounds on which to make the arrest. You get him, and we get away. To the Germans that last will be just a minor annoyance.
-There's still something about this business I don't quite understand. Miss Lund, she's very beautiful, yes, but you were never interested in any woman.
-I see. How do I know you'll keep your end of the bargain?
-I'll make the arrangements right now with Laszlo in the visitor's pen.
-Ricky, I'm going to miss you. Apparently you're the only one in Casablanca who has even less scruples than I.
-Oh, thanks.
-You're late.
-I was informed just as Laszlo was about to leave the hotel, so I knew I'd be on time.
-I thought I asked you to tie up your watchdogs.
-You know, this place will never be the same without you, Ricky.
-Yes, I know what you mean, but I've already spoken to Ferrari. You'll still win at roulette.
-I have the letters right here.
-Tell me, when we searched the place, where were they?
-Sam's piano.
--- Not so fast, Louis. Nobody's going to be arrested. Not for a while yet.
-Have you taken leave of your senses?
-I have. Sit down over there.
-I suppose you know what you're doing, but I wonder if you realize what this means?
-I do. We've got plenty of time to discuss that later.
-Call off your watch-dogs you said.
-Just the same, you call the airport and let me hear you tell them. And remember, this gun's pointed right at your heart.
-If you don't mind, you fill in the names. That will make it even more official.
-You think of everything, don't you?
-Well I was right. You are a sentimentalist.
-What you just did for Laszlo, and that fairy tale that you invented to send Ilsa away with him. I know a little about women, my friend. She went, but she knew you were lying.
-Anyway, thanks for helping me out.
-I suppose you know this isn't going to be pleasant for either of us, especially for you. I'll have to arrest you of course.
-Well, Rick, you're not only a sentimentalist, but you've become a patriot.
-Maybe, but it seemed like a good time to start.
-It might be a good idea for you to disappear from Casablanca for a while. There's a Free French garrison over at Brazzaville. I could be induced to arrange a passage.
-My letter of transit? I could use a trip. But it doesn't make any difference about our bet. You still owe me ten thousand francs.
-And that ten thousand francs should pay our expenses.
-Our expenses?
-Uh huh.
-Where were you last night?
-That's so long ago, I don't remember.
-Will I see you tonight?
-Give me another.
-Sacha, she's had enough.
-Rick, I'm sick and tired of having you --
-Come on, we're going to get your coat.
-Make it official, if you like.
-What is your nationality?
-I understand you came here from Paris at the time of the occupation.
-There seems to be no secret about that.
-Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?
-Well, there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.
-Aha. Who do you think will win the war?
-Are my eyes really brown?
-You will forgive my curiosity, Mr. Blaine. The point is, an enemy of the Reich has come to Casablanca and we are checking up on anybody who can be of any help to us.
-My interest in whether Victor Laszlo stays or goes is purely a sporting one.
-In this case, you have no sympathy for the fox, huh?
-Not particularly. I understand the point of view of the hound, too.
-You'll excuse me, gentlemen. Your business is politics. Mine is running a saloon.
-I would advise you not to interfere.
-Hello?
-Put that phone down!
-Get me the Radio Tower!
-Uh, excuse me, please. Hello, Rick.
-Huh. You know, Rick, watching you just now with the Deutsches Bank, one would think you'd been doing this all your life.
-Well, what makes you think I haven't?
-Oh, nothing. But when you first came to Casablanca, I thought --
-May I? Too bad about those two German couriers, wasn't it?
-They got a lucky break. Yesterday they were just two German clerks. Today they're the 'Honored Dead'.
-Thank you. Will you have a drink with me please?
-No.
-I forgot. You never drink with... I'll have another, please. You despise me, don't you?
-If I gave you any thought, I probably would.
-But why? Oh, you object to the kind of business I do, huh? But think of all those poor refugees who must rot in this place if I didn't help them. That's not so bad. Through ways of my own I provide them with exit visas.
-For a price, Ugarte, for a price.
-But think of all the poor devils who cannot meet Renault's price. I get it for them for half. Is that so parasitic?
-I don't mind a parasite. I object to a cut-rate one.
-Well, Rick, after tonight I'll be through with the whole business, and I am leaving finally this Casablanca.
-Who did you bribe for your visa? Renault or yourself?
-One moment. Tonight I'll be selling those for more money than even I have ever dreamed of, and then, addio Casablanca! You know, Rick, I have many friends in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me you're the only one I trust. Will you keep these for me? Please.
-For how long?
-Perhaps an hour, perhaps a little longer.
-I don't want them here overnight.
-Rick! Rick, help me!
-Don't be a fool. You can't get away.
-Sam, Ferrari wants you to work for him at the Blue Parrot.
-I like it fine here.
-He'll double what I pay you.
-Yeah, but I ain't got time to spend the money I make here.
-Boss!
-Yeah?
-Boss, ain't you going to bed?
-Ain't you planning on going to bed in the near future?
-No.
-You ever going to bed?
-No.
-Well, I ain't sleepy either.
-Good. Then have a drink.
-No. Not me, boss.
-Then don't have a drink.
-Boss, let's get out of here.
-No, sir. I'm waiting for a lady.
-Please, boss, let's go. Ain't nothing but trouble for you here.
-She's coming back. I know she's coming back.
-We'll take the car and drive all night. We'll get drunk. We'll go fishing and stay away until she's gone.
-Shut up and go home, will you?
-They grab Ugarte and she walks in. Well, that's the way it goes. One in, one out. Sam?
-Yeah, boss?
-Sam, if it's December 1941 in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?
-Uh, my watch stopped.
-What's that you're playing?
-Just a little something of my own.
-Well, stop it. You know what I want to hear.
-No, I don't.
-You played it for her and you can play it for me.
-Well, I don't think I can remember it.
-If she can stand it, I can. Play it!
-This sort of takes the sting out of being occupied, doesn't it, Mr. Richard?
-And getting closer every minute. Here. Drink up. We'll never finish the other three.
-Where is she? Have you seen her?
-It took this test package thirty-two hours to get from Seattle to St. Petersburg, a distance of nine thousand miles. And then it took forty-one hours to get from our warehouse in St. Petersburg to here, a distance of, what --
-Six kilometers. Four miles.
-It's bad.
-Worse than Warsaw.
-Nobody remembers that.
-Save some for tomorrow.
-Shit! Shit! Shit!
-Stay calm, identify the problem. Problem, rope fraying. Solution, fix rope.
-Get up.
-Feels so good to lie here.
-Can't. Need water.
-You've had today's water.
-Thirsty.
-Come on, shape up, get going, you can do it.
-Okay look, I know you're tired, I know you're thirsty, but give it one more shot, you've just got to do a little more.
-Do too much, I'll die.
-Do too little you'll die.
-No more water, you said.
-Take it.
-No.
-Take it, damn it.
-No.
-If they can't see you, what's the point?
-Polaris, where are you? Maybe I'm too far south.
-You don't know where you are. You missed the shipping lanes.
-You're putting off the inevitable.
-Get water!
-Fix raft first.
-You're beautiful. Marry me.
-What are you doing?
-Can't kill another one. Can't. Can't kill my friends anymore.
-You fucking bleeding heart, you kill or you die.
-Why do they have to die for me?
-I'm lost. Goodbye.
-Look, just slip off the raft. The ocean would feel so good, the water's so soft and warm. Take a little swim. Sleep.
-You quitter you quitter you quitter.
-The sea is lovely, dark and deep.
-But I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep. Got to fix the sea anchor. Use the sail.
-Use the sail for a sea anchor and you won't move.
-If I don't have a sea anchor I'll capsize.
-That's death knocking, knocking on your door. Crazy little woman come knocking, knocking at my front door...
-Grow up, stop being such a baby. Other people get through a lot worse.
-You know, Wilson, every now and then we should say thank you. Thank you God.
-What are you smiling about? They'll be back.
-They're never going to see you. You're just another piece of trash in the ocean.
-They're on autopilot.
-They're always on autopilot. Or else it's night, or you're in the sun, or you're in the trough of a wave. They'll never see you.
-I float. You sink. End of story.
-I'm serious. I'm always going on about me, me, me. Enough about me. Your turn.
-It's a fucking soccer ball, you idiot.
-What's so damn funny?
-Jesus.
-It's real.
-Nothing out there but ocean.
-What did it matter if FedEx was five minutes late one day? The next day we just start over again.
-It matters. We do the best we can, that's all we have.
-You can't make it.
-You came on a bicycle? No wonder it's so late.
-Well, I have to say, I'm impressed. You never gave up.
-You know what happened to this?
-As much as anybody.
-Want to come in? Get dry for a minute.
-Hmmm. Feels like it might have gotten wet.
-Possible. So you did those wings?
-Yeah. A long time ago.
-They're harder to do than they look.
-Oh? You've tried?
-Our apologies that it never made it to the recipient.
-I can't believe this. I -- I -- They are... You're a gifted artist. You're into something very powerful. Primal. Truly.
-Well, not really, I --
-To tell you the truth -- you did.
-Do you...have any more packages to deliver?
-No. that was the last one.
-Keep painting. Promise me.
-Did you really steal a crippled kid's bicycle to make your deliveries, or is that just some bullshit story?
-What brings you out to the sticks?
-Had a package to deliver.
-You? Personally?
-I had it on the island with me.
-Yeah, a long one.
-I've got lots of time.
-Sonofabitch!
-Your eyes are puffy. Did you take Valium again?
-My last chapter's in there, and the damn machine's jammed.
-How was Russia?
-Cold.
-Don't overwhelm me with details, you know how I hate that. Did you get it fixed?
-Got to follow the paper path here.
-Chuck.
-What do you want me to say? That I thought I'd done a great job but it all turned to shit? That I might as well have gone sailing for all the good I did?
-Merry Christmas eve.
-Four four. A record.
-You don't seem too happy about it.
-Ah, the staff meeting could have gone better.
-Hey, look at you.
-He is a cute thing.
-He's your cute thing.
-I can't even keep fish alive.
-A puppy's got a little more personality than a fish.
-You know, for when you travel.
-I have to go. I'm on call for overflow down at the Hub.
-A ring. I wanted a ring.
-Look, I love the puppy. I love you. But I have to go.
-You can't go now.
-I have to.
-This isn't working out.
-We're a little emotional here. It's Christmas, maybe we're over-reacting.
-"We're" not over-reacting.
-Could you watch Jango?
-No.
-That's your dog.
-It's our dog. It belongs to us.
-There isn't any us.
-I'm sorry about the presents. I got a little carried away.
-No, it was great. Maybe a little overkill --
-Why didn't you come over, get mad at me, tell me what a stupid bitch I was.
-I guess I hadn't thought through how I felt.
-What, you were going to come over the next day all calm and say, Kelly that really made me mad? Don't tell me you're mad. Be mad. Be who you are right now.
-Look, we'll do our trip as soon as I get back.
-Get back? From where?
-Chuck, you're breaking my heart.
-A week, max. Okay? Okay?
-I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
-Right back, you said you'd be right back.
-I got married.
-I thought you might have.
-I would never --
-I know.
-If I'd known you were alive --
-I didn't want to. It just happened. One day Gary was there. He took care of everything. He took care of me. I was a mess.
-Her name's Hannah.
-Is that Jango?
-What's that?
-All that time I waited to go on a cruise, and you went without me.
-What's that, written on the sail?
-There was a coffin?
-Yeah, coffin, headstone, the whole thing.
-What was inside?
-Your calendar, your cell phone, your whoo pig sooey hat, some pictures of that ketch you wanted.
-That about sums it up.
-Maybe now's when you tell me about it.
-The plane went down. My friends died. I washed up on an island. Then I found these barrels, built the raft, and here I am.
-Yeah?
-The tide came in, the tide went out. I survived. That's the headline. I survived.
-Come on. Try.
-Cliches, mainly. Don't take anyone for granted. Don't sweat the small stuff. Live each day like it's your last.
-So simple to say, so hard to do.
-You hated being alone. Couldn't stand it. Busy every minute. Always plugged into something.
-This is so unfair.
-You okay?
-What will you do?
-I've got to get back to Memphis. Hannah's babysitter has finals.
-It means a lot...that you came.
-I love you, Chuck.
-You too.
-I need the latest PDRs on St. Petersburg.
-And how was your Christmas?
-When's the next Jumbo?
-The regular flight is scheduled for oh three hundred tomorrow.
-Anything else?
-My favorite doctor. What's the verdict?
-Sorry...sorry... Why do my joints still ache?
-Dehydration. Vitamin deficiency. Protein deficiency. Any or all of the above.
-All I ate was fish. That's solid protein.
-Protein digestion is very costly in water usage.
-Which I didn't have.
-I am one lucky guy.
-Your body chemistry and your exposure to the elements would normally lead to irritability, depression, anxiety, periods of self-reproach. It's almost like schizophrenia. Different sides of your personality might come to life, speak out, act out.
-If you say you are.
-I most definitely say I am.
-Yes, yes he did.
-You are aware of the potential disruptiveness on your loved ones when you return to your old life?
-Doc, I'm not on the island. I'm not on the raft. I'm alive. I'm so glad to be back, I can't tell you. I just want out of here.
-Need some help?
-You're not out of Pascagoula, are you?
-I used to drive one of those. A long time ago.
-Hey, once a driver, always a driver. You want a lift? I've just got one more pickup.
-You're Chuck Noland.
-Bless us O Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thou bounty, through Christ the Lord. Amen.
-Thought you were going to bring her.
-But chickens?
-Sixty three pounds consumed per capita, up from twenty seven in 1960. Going to pass beef. Chicken's global. No religious taboos. You don't see your Hindus and your Muslims boycotting poultry.
-Really?
-Come on down to the plant. It's state of the art. We're doing for chickens what FedEx did for the delivery business.
-What happened to your pants?
-It seemed like she had such a good time last time.
-Look, I help take care of the place. You got my check, didn't you Mom?
-Mom, this is a farm. We've got real strawberries growing outside, we've got real cream.
-Maybe I should take a few days off. Roger's working now, you could use some help around here...
-Don't you even think about it.
-The place is falling apart.
-Doing great, Mom, don't worry about me.
-When'd you start working here?
-Roger got me on. I wasn't doing anything, and -- but you're back, you're really back. I would have come to Memphis, but --
-I've got all this back pay coming. Why don't you let me get you a place in town?
-What a journey you've had. It seems more than a person should have to bear.
-Trying.
-Okay. After three years the PTR reverts to tape storage, which is okay because we access it through the CPC. Here it is. Ten packages from the same sender. Baku. Delhi. St. Petersburg. The guy was a real road warrior. This package was Kuala Lampur. No activity in his account after this package. No forwarding addresses after K.L.
-What about the sender?
-Hmmm. Durango, Colorado; Asheville, North Carolina, then...canceled her account.
-Can you find her?
-Kamal is not here.
-Who is this? Where is Kamal?
-It is Ibrim, I, I am a sorter.
-What's going on down there?
-Kamal is not here. We are very defused.
-What do you expect, from the guy who stole a kid's bicycle when his truck broke down?
-How'd it go?
-You what?
-I checked the weather, you had the jet stream, you could have made it up.
-But I might not have.
-Jesus. I got it working... You have no idea how hard it was... They're finally a team...
-I'm touched.
-You fucked us over.
-The point of FedEx, as I understand it, is to make the damn connection.
-I was making a point.
-What? Let Paris hold its plane? Let Memphis take care of it? Let somebody down the line clean up your mess?
-Every person counts, every package counts, that's my point.
-You know what your problem is? You just see the packages in front of you. You don't see the big picture.
-I didn't know we had sailboats.
-It's a ketch Kelly and I had chartered.
-And never take.
-Look, I'm sorry about your plane. But I couldn't risk being late into Memphis.
-Forget it.
-You know General McLelland, he wouldn't attack unless he had everything just right. Finally Abe Lincoln came to him and said, General, if you're not going to use my army, could I borrow it for a while? So he gave it to Grant and Grant just said, let's go.
-I'm from Arkansas. Tell me a story with Robert E. Lee in it and maybe I'll pay attention.
-We're warriors, not desk jockeys. We've got to be bold. You always want all your ducks lined up. But nothing's 100 percent. It's always 60-40, maybe 51-49. Hell, I'd take 40-60. Then roll the dice.
-That's why you're a gambling man.
-That's why I'm running foreign and you're not. That's why you're not married and I am.
-For the third time.
-You are one sick fucker.
-I'm trying to help you here. There's Warsaw, there's this --
-A hundred rubles St. Petersburg hits 95 percent in a month.
-Ninety five percent? Just give me the money now.
-Talk is cheap. Are we on or not?
-Malaysia's tanking. We're meeting in ten in operations.
-Hello?
-God damn! God damn! Chuck, it's you!
-It's me.
-You're fucking dead!
-I beat the odds!
-Hello.
-How about we go somewhere else?
-This stinks really bad.
-Cool ropes.
-I braided them.
-Must have taken a hell of a long time.
-You were how long on this?
-When I first showed up, I thought you'd lost your fucking marbles.
-To Wilson.
-You've been over the line and you came back. You've been saved, hallelujah!
-I'm serious. The burning bush, the big picture, the words in neon...
-To life. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
-To life.
-That's all there is.
-Digital laser readers.
-Take your time.
-What?
-That's what it's about.
-Not just that. Take your time. Use it. Live it.
-What, then?
-Deliver this package. Then, I dunno.
-You want that delivered, we'll deliver it. That's what we do.
-I need to do it.
-Thanks. For everything.
-Permission to come aboard, sir.
-Permission granted.
-May I ask, where are you bound?
-San Francisco. And you?
-As it happens, I'm headed for Frisco myself.
-Would you do us the honor of joining us? We're just sitting down at mess. Pork chops and gravy, cranberries, baked potatoes with all the trimmings, fresh- baked bread, apple pie...
-Only if you can afford it.
-It's not ergot, it's not pituitary extract, it's not oil of rue...
-Wilbur, the adopting couple is waiting in your office.
-I was dreaming about you. How beautiful you were!
-You weren't dreaming about me.
-Then I wasn't beautiful.
-You were! You *are*! It was fantastic.
-They want to replace me! The Board of Trustees wants to *replace* me!
-They just want you to hire some new help.
-He'll need clothes... some money...
-Let him try to *make* some money! That's part of "seeing the world," isn't it?
-Oh, just stop it! You knew this was going to happen. He's a young man.
-He's still a boy--out in the world, he's still a boy.
-He is a goddamn psychiatrist--of *course* he wants to "help"! He'd be happy if he could help *commit* me!
-It's that Mrs. Goodhall you have to be careful of, Wilbur.
-This is *your* life story, Wilbur! You just changed the dates!
-"An internship and two years of training at the Boston Lying-in, South End Branch. For his age, he was judged an accomplished gynecological obstetrical surgeon; he is also experienced in pediatric care..."
-You *invented* him! You've completely made his up!
-These *credentials* are against the law!
-Oh my, yes! This is a *far* superior taste--and crisp, too! You know, so many apples are disappointingly mealy. I wonder of most of the apples in my life weren't meant for pies!
-Wilbur, he picked them for us himself...
-I suppose it wouldn't hurt to *meet* him. What's his name again?
-Dr. Homer Wells.
-He *sniffs* that ether! I've seen him do it!
-It's because he's too tired to sleep. He has to.
-He *smells* like he could put you to sleep!
-He's a doctor, Buster--doctors smell like ether.
-*You're* a doctor, Homer--you don't smell like ether.
-I'm *not* a doctor. I haven't been to medical school--I haven't even been to high school!
-But you've studied with the old man for *years*!
-I'm *not* a doctor!
-I mean your parents.
-I know who you mean. I think about leaving here, but not to find *them*.
-Why not?
-Whoever they were, they didn't *do* any of the things parents are supposed to do. Dr. Larch did those things, and Nurse Edna, and Nurse Angela.
-Yeah. But sometimes I wish I could meet mine, anyway.
-What for, Buster? What would you do if you met them?
-Uh... I'd like to show them that I can cook, a little.
-You cook very well!
-And that I can drive a truck!
-Better than I can!
-Homer, you know I would never kill anyone--you know I wouldn't.
-I think Mary Agnes could kill someone.
-What's she so emotional about?
-What'd she die of?
-What are you going to tell the little ones?
-I'll tell them Fuzzy was adopted.
-Why would the little ones believe that *anyone* would adopt him?
-They'll believe it because they want to believe it.
-Shouldn't we tell Homer?
-It's time somebody ate *them*.
-I was lookin' for Wally's letter. I was gonna show it to Homer... They made him a captain already-- *Captain* Worthington!
-Daddy, it's a letter to *me*.
-He mentions Homer, too, you know.
-It's gettin' late. I think I'll pack it in.
-How about him not needin' the friggin' compass! How about that?
-Good night, kids. Don't catch cold-- it's gettin' cold already.
-So, Mrs...
-How many months are you?
-Is your family in the apple business, too?
-No, but I work there--I like it. My dad's a lobsterman.
-I've never seen a lobster.
-Really?
-I know.
-He's going to be dropping bombs on Mandalay! They're going to be shooting at him!
-Where's Mandalay?
-Burma!
-Oh...
-I can't have a baby alone. I don't even know if he's coming back!
-I'm a little worried about the... ...about how much bleeding is okay.
-I guess I'll see you around the orchards. Thanks for everything.
-So. Not bored yet?
-Uh... have you been *feeling* okay?
-You have to come to my dad's lobster pound and see one, then.
-I better go.
-A movie *outside*?
-Yes. But it's closed all the time now, because of the blackout.
-People watched the movies in their cars?
-When they watched at all. Do you like movies?
-You've seen only one movie? Which one?
-But you looked as if you liked it.
-First she loved him, then she didn't, then no one else could have him...
-And what did she die of, exactly?
-She was torn apart! She died of a broken heart.
-What's the *medical* explanation?
-You're a natural. You were born to drive a car like this.
-The screen is enormous! Imagine King Kong up *there*! Have you seen a lot of movies here?
-What are you so crazy about the movies for?
-It was my favorite night at the orphanage--movie night. We'd race into the dining hall. Of course everyone wanted to sit in front, so we'd be packed in so tight you could feel the kid next to you breathing.
-At least you were never lonely.
-You don't miss it?
-I miss things. I miss... people. I miss reading to the boys.
-But you had so much *responsibility*.
-I never *asked* for any responsibility.
-Privacy is exactly the point of drive- in movies.
-Sometimes... movies mostly bore Wally.
-Ah-ha. So what is that--a radio?
-How could you not *care* about the movie?
-You just cuddle. You come to hug... to kiss. You don't *come* here to watch the movie.
-That's what *I'd* come here for. I'd watch the movie.
-Aren't you worried that people will cut their feet?
-I *know* this was right.
-Just tell me. Do you want me to go? Do you want me to stay?
-It will be okay.
-*What* will be okay?
-Olive told me. You might have told me yourself.
-Do you think I'm having a good time? Do you think I'm just *teasing* you? Do you think I *know* whether I want you or Wally?
-So we should "wait and see." For how long?
-I grew up with Wally. I began my adult life with him.
-Fine. That's all there is to it then.
-No! That's not all there is to it! I love you, too--I *know* I do.
-Okay, okay--I know you do, too.
-We should take her to St. Cloud's. That much is obvious, isn't it? Let her make up her mind when she gets there...
-I told her! She doesn't feel she can do that. Something about her father not letting her go anywhere...
-She won't go to St. Cloud's!
-Well, we can't force her. It's her decision.
-You don't understand! It's her father...
-Mr. Rose *knows*?
-Wait... *wait*! Are you sure?
-Just tell me. I'll do whatever you want to do.
-Nothing.
-Isn't that like waiting and seeing?
-No. Nothing is nothing. I want Wally to come home. I'm afraid to see him, too.
-I know. Is *that* nothing.
-Please don't move, don't go anywhere.
-*Go* anywhere? Of course not! That would be *doing* something, wouldn't it? We wouldn't want to *do* something. Let's just sit here all night!
-If you're trying to be funny, Homer...
-Stop it! Just cut it out!
-You got up! You *did* something! If you keep this up, you might be in danger of making a *decision*!
-I know, I'm sorry.
-He's *paralyzed*!
-He's *alive*. He still loves you. So do I.
-Please don't make me say it again.
-I *helped* you not to think about Wally. You were so upset--you couldn't stand worrying about him, about his being killed and not coming back-- but when you were with me, you could stop worrying... well, for a while, anyway. This is how I helped you, right?
-Please... that's enough. I *loved* you, too--you know I did.
-"...did." Well, okay.
-Please don't...
-And now that Wally's coming back, and because he'll certainly *need* you...
-Do you think she'll be all right?
-This came for you a couple of days ago. Olive asked me to bring it. With everything happening, I guess she forgot.
-I know you don't think much of being needed, or of me for that matter...
-I'm sorry for what I said about Wally needing you. It was... unnecessary.
-No, I'm the one who should be sorry. You have every right to be angry.
-How is that Wally doing?
-Hi...
-I've got some more clothes for you-- I just keep forgetting to bring them with me.
-I don't need no more clothes, thank you.
-You ain't been through what I been through, Candy.
-I know where you can go. Homer and I can take you...
-I can't go nowhere.
-You can trust me. Is it Jack? It's not Jack, is it? It's *Muddy*! Is it Muddy?
-So many children. Are they all orphans?
-I'm okay--I can walk.
-I don't want you to walk--I want to carry you. Should I put the top up? It might get cold.
-Wally thinks apples are boring.
-I never said they were boring.
-You said, "Apples aren't exactly flying."
-There! You said it was boring.
-I love you, Wally.
-I was just showing Homer the orchards... kind of a geography lesson.
-You've been giving him a *flying* lesson!
-He thinks people *like* to get whacked by branches.
-I thought they might take me.
-They wanted a girl.
-You're one of the best, Curly--we couldn't let just anyone take you.
-Dr. Larch wouldn't let just anyone take *any* of us!
-That's true.
-Nobody's asked for me, have they?
-Nobody special enough, Curly.
-You mean somebody asked?
-Her temperature is a hundred and four.
-That's a heavy sedation.
-I don't know! He's just leaving-- you're the one who says he needs to see the world! *That's* what he'll do--he'll see the world!
-"Homer Wells, born Portland, Maine, March 2, 1915..."
-Homer was born *here*, in, what was it, 1922?
-You mean they'll replace you with someone who won't perform abortions.
-So here is my candidate. What do you think?
-Or that he can't be bothered to write us a proper letter? A dissertation on apples, we don't need!
-He probably doesn't make much money picking apples--he must have had to pay to send them, too.
-I just wanted to ask you...
-Edna! Come dance with me! Let's be foolish tonight.
-Is *your* father dead?
-Cirrhosis--it's a disease of the liver.
-*Liver* killed him?
-*Alcohol* killed him--he drank himself to death.
-But did you know him?
-Barely. It hardly mattered that I knew him.
-Did you know your mother better?
-She's dead now, too. She was a nanny.
-What's a nanny do?
-She looks after other people's children.
-Did you grow up around here?
-No. She was an immigrant.
-What's an immigrant?
-Homer... doesn't King Kong think the woman is his *mother*?
-Uh, sure--that's what Kong thinks, all right.
-"I was a posthumous child. My father's eyes had closed upon the light of this world six months, when mine opened on it."
-Uh... it's the end of October.
-Don't get too excited, Fuzzy.
-Did you bite it?
-I don't remember.
-It looks like you bit it--it'll be all right.
-Maybe I was kissing someone and he bit me.
-No, you did it yourself. Maybe in your sleep.
-I'm sorry. They're not used to seeing a car like this.
-So, now, uh... you're not... I mean, do *you* do the--
-No. Dr. Larch will be performing the procedure.
-What kind of plane are you flying?
-A B-24 Liberator.
-Liberator...
-Have you enlisted?
-They wouldn't take me. I'm Class IV-- I've got a heart defect.
-Really! Is it serious?
-Has anyone offered you anything to eat?
-I wonder if you might give me a ride.
-Sure! Be glad to! Uh... a ride where?
-Where are you going?
-I think I'd probably like the apple business.
-You're a little overqualified, aren't you?
-No, I'm not. I need a job.
-This is all normal. Don't worry. The abortion procedure... it affects you. It's the ether, too. It'll take a little time.
-I don't *have* any time. There's a *war*!
-"Burma run" because you fly over Burma...
-At what altitude?
-What lousy luck--I mean your orders... to draw an assignment like that!
-Uh, look... if you're serious about wanting a job, picking apples isn't that boring.
-They're migrants.
-Migrants?
-It's almost like flying.
-What about the trees?
-Uh... I'm shipping out sooner than I thought. I just wanted to be sure you were settled in--and happy enough, considering... Are you bored stiff? Or can you stick it out for a bit?
-Uh... actually, picking apples is as much excitement as I want for a while. I'm grateful for the job.
-You're the one who's helping *me*, Homer. You're going to give my mom a little peace of mind while I'm gone. Candy, too.
-Well, sure... that's good, then. All I mean is, I'm lucky I met you.
-So. What should I do now?
-It's big enough to keep you out of the war, I suppose. Ain't that right?
-Stop it, Homer. They aren't our rules. We didn't write them. I don't see no reason to read them.
-That's better. I can tell you got yourself some education. Them's good hands you got, Homer. Them hands you got, they know what they're doin'-- ain't that right?
-Are we supposed to be up here? The rules said...
-Cider don't have no taste till later in October--it's too watery now, when we're usin' just them early Macs and them Gravensteins. You don't get no *good* cider till you're pickin' them Golden Delicious and them Winter Bananas, them Baldwins and them Russerts...
-What about the worms? Most of these apples are the drops--off the ground, right? There have to be worms.
-Slow down, Homer--don't be in such a big hurry.
-This is easy--I'm not hurrying.
-I didn't see where you was pickin' this mornin', Homer, but you musta worked up a big appetite. You look like you're serious about gettin' to your lunch today!
-I think you been stayin' up too late at night, Homer.
-You're actually having sex with your own little girl? Is that possible?
-Ain't nobody havin' *sex* with my little girl, Homer--that's somethin' a father knows.
-Homer, don't you know what business you in? You don't wanna go into no business with me, Homer--ain't that right?
-But she's your *daughter*...
-Please listen to me! *Both* of you...
-What business is you in, Homer?
-What's that? What's it called?
-One cervical stabilizer, two sets of dilators--Douglas points. One medium- sized curette, one small; one medium speculum, one large; two vulsellum forceps.
-Merthiolate, ether, vulval pads, gauze--lots of gauze.
-I'm stayin', Homer.
-If that was your knife, Muddy, I wanna thank you for givin' it to her-- no girl should be goin' *hitch-hikin'* if she don't got a good knife with her.
-Where'd she get you?
-There's more than one laceration, more than one cut.
-Let me hear you say that! I so unhappy she runned away that I killed myself-- that what happen here, ain't that right?
-First pregnancy?
-Yes, for both.
-I presume you'd prefer handling the delivery.
-All I said was, I don't want to perform abortions. I have no argument with *you* performing them.
-You know *how* to help these women-- how can you not feel *obligated* to help them when they can't get help anywhere else?
-One: it's illegal. Two: I didn't ask how to do it--you just showed me.
-There was no visible wound?
-No. The fetus was dead. Her uterus was virtually *disintegrating*--my stitches pulled right through the tissue!
-It looks like scurvy.
-It's obviously an aborticide.
-Christ, it's oil of tansy!
-I don't know it.
-If you take enough of it, your intestines lose their ability to absorb Vitamin C.
-In other words, scurvy.
-Fuzzy is not uncommon. I tell you, there's something about the premature babies of alcoholic mothers. They seem susceptible to every damn thing that comes along.
-I haven't read that.
-I haven't, either. But you *will*. The morons who write the books should do a little research *here*.
-But isn't Fuzzy just... well, underdeveloped?
-Where's the name sheet?
-Nobody's named this one yet.
-He doesn't like it. He's a boy, That's why.
-Can't a boy be a Dorrit?
-I don't think so.
-Henceforth you shall be... Little Wilbur.
-Okay, he's just a Wilbur then.
-I thought you took care of this. It always breaks in the same place. It's your splice, isn't it?
-I thought it was my turn.
-How about expecting people to be responsible enough to control themselves to begin with?
-It's just a marvel to me that you still have such high expectations of people.
-I'm happy I amuse you.
-Try to look at it this way. What choice does Buster have? What are his options? Nobody will ever adopt him.
-Try to look at it *this* way. Buster and I are sitting right here beside you. We could have ended up in the incinerator!
-Doubtless you'll let me know what immensely worthwhile or at least *useful* thing it is that you find to do.
-I wasn't intending to leave here in order to be entirely useless--I expect I'll find some ways to be of use.
-In other parts of the world, I suppose there are other ways.
-Of course.
-Are you really so *stupid* that you imagine you're going to find a more gratifying life? What you're going to find is people like the poor people who get left here--only nobody takes care of them as well! And you won't be able to take care of them, either. There's no taking care of *anybody*-- not out there!
-You know I'm grateful for everything you've done for me...
-I don't need this--I know all about my condition.
-I am not a doctor.
-What I mean is... I would like it very much if you thought you could be happy here, Homer.
-Mrs. Worthington, I feel I'm very lucky to be here.
-I think Wally will be fine, Mrs. Worthington--he seems indestructible to me.
-Uh... sure.
-Good-bye, Arthur. Homer, I'll see you tomorrow?
-Don't mess in this, Homer, if you know what's good for you.
-How long's this been going on, Muddy?
-"One: Please don't smoke in bed."
-We heard that one already, Homer.
-Thanks, guys... I'd like to go with you. But I've got to move on.
-Rose Rose?
-What's that?
-It's just my heart.
-There's a little something wrong with it. Just this part here--the right ventricle. It's slightly enlarged.
-So what?
-Do you like to read?
-You ain't gettin' in no trouble, I hope.
-I'm not in trouble.
-Give men that. I know how to do it.
-Oh, I suppose you is a doctor, Homer?
-You okay, Rose?
-I guess you must like watchin' me be sick...
-You're not yet three months, are you?
-Not yet. What do you know about it?
-I know more than I want to know about it. Who's the father?
-Don't trouble yourself about it, Homer--this ain't your business.
-But you don't look very happy.
-*Happy*! What are you thinkin'? How am I supposed to take care of a baby! I can't have a baby.
-What I mean is, if you don't want to... keep the baby, I know a place where you can go.
-Why don't you just go back to your pickin', Homer? I can take care of it myself!
-That's *it*?
-That's it.
-Who cares?
-Now, now. He's a good boy.
-Shit. We don't know what he is.
-I bet the view looks better from the Worthin'tons'.
-That just ain't right, Jack--your cigarette's gonna end up in nine or ten gallons of this batch of cider! That ain't right.
-Them people drinkin' that cider, they don't know there's a cigarette in there!
-It's not that hard to find it in there, Jack--it'll take you just a minute. You just gotta go fishin'.
-You mean *swimmin'*. I ain't goin' in that vat to fish out no cigarette!
-Do you know him?
-I fail to see how someone courageous enough to make a commitment to a foreign mission is automatically to be dismissed--that part of the world requires precisely the kind of dedication that is needed here.
-Does it *snow* in Bombay? One winter here and we'll be shipping him south, in a *coffin*!
-You can't think that a man who has *served* under such conditions as exist over there will be in the slightest daunted by a little *snow*-- have you no idea how harsh and primitive and full of *disease* that part of the world is?
-I fail to see how a little Christianity could *hurt* anyone here!
-When the plane was hit, the crew chief and the radioman jumped close together. The copilot jumped third. All on Captain Worthington's orders-- the captain was still flying the plane. None of the men of the ground could see the sky--that's how thick the jungle was. They never saw the plane crash--they never *heard* it crash. They never saw Captain Worthington's parachute, either.
-Why was he missing for twenty days?
-Then it's malaria?
-No autonomic effects... that's correct.
-When will he be home, Major?
-They told me I was too old to serve.
-Ain't you gonna see what it is, Homer?
-Mind your own business, Peaches.
-You all take care of yourself, too, Homer!
-Don't this place look like home?
-It look nicer then home!
-You pickin' nothin' but cider apples, Peaches--I hope you understand that.
-They ain't drops--I picked 'em off the tree!
-They're *outrageous*, them rules!
-Where's your manners? Make room for Homer, so's he can enjoy the view.
-*What* view?
-Don't let us make you nervous or nothin'--we know you gotta job to do.
-It's that Vernon--he keeps askin' where you and Homer and Rose Rose is at.
-Tell that Vernon to mind his own business, Muddy.
-I told him that you all is sick.
-She's *good* with that knife! She's real fast. She's a lot better with that knife than *you* is, Muddy! And who do you suppose taught her?
-*You* taught her, I suppose...
-That what happen--you lost you only daughter so's you killed yourself! That's what we say, all right.
-Daddy, I'd like to be in that Wally's shoes *every* night.
-You lucky you in your work boots tonight, girl...
-That sounds like you is in trouble already, Homer.
-We should drown that damn Jack in the vat!
-Now, now, darlin'... Jack just needs to know what business he's in.
-Yeah, you really showed him, Daddy-- you just about cut your own hand off, and all you cut off *him* was his clothes!
-Now, now, Jack--that just ain't right.
-Where do you think you're going?
-You ain't goin' nowhere in the middle of the night, girl!
-You just go inside, Homer. We don't need no help.
-That Candy--she's the nicest girl I know!
-You're lucky he didn't cut your *nipples* off, man.
-The good news, Jack, is you're half- undressed for *swimmin'*...
-Rose Rose has runned away!
-She took off in the night!
-You ever see a palm tree, Homer?
-But I'm not that late. You didn't have to give away my seat.
-Thanks for playing along. I just have to sit for a while.
-Tough day?
-Brutal day. They say the streets are lined with money down here, but I guess you have to know the secret handshake. What are you drinking?
-My name's Grant. Grant Ashby.
-So, what do you do?
-It's more like what aren't I doing. My partners and I are trying to secure start up capital for a small tech company. We tried the venture capitalist route in the Valley, but then again who hasn't up there.
-Silicon Valley?
-Can --
-So we've been meeting with banks all day. It's amazing how many ways they can say "no" without ever using the word.
-Don't tell me you started a tech firm here before us.
-No, no. Nothing like that. I work in a bank.
-Oh. Well, thanks for the drink.
-Uh, right... And that was it. That's when we decided to start our own business. No more shithead bosses.
-What do you do over at your bank, Grant?
-Here's where a little research comes in handy. Corporate banks give out VP titles like calendars. It's a small lie, but now we're sure he's playing.
-Maybe you can help us understand what's so hard about getting a corporate loan.
-Well, typically speaking, they're not. As long as you can demonstrate --
-A capacity for gross fund recovery. Yeah, we got that part.
-That's right. And tech firms... They 'tend to scare people off.
-They scare people off because most people lack vision. Vision and balls. Present company excluded of course.
-Banks need to know how they're going to get their money back.
-We know exactly how we're going to make the money back. There in lies the Catch-22
-Listen, what I'm about to tell you, I'm telling you in confidence, okay? Have you ever heard of a company called Big.Com?
-Big.Com. That Internet thing.
-Right. The guys who started that did what a lot of companies in the Valley do. They get a good idea, shop it around, raise some capital, then sell it off to a bigger company. Microsoft, Intel, Oracle, whatever. The beauty of it is, they've pretty much sold the company before they're even real. The bigger company is already set to buy it, all
-Sort of like a letter of intent.
-Exactly. But the Catch-22 is that you can't tell anyone about the offer, because if it's public, you could start a bidding war and that's considered a breach of etiquette. It could kill a deal. But, wait too long and you're not considered hot anymore.
-And you have this letter of intent?
-We had to finalize the deal.
-Everything looks in order.
-This has to happen fast.
-I know. It won't go unnoticed.
-What's this?
-Let's just slow down for a second...
-You're worried about recouping the loan. I already told you.
-Then there it is. Ashby gets the itch.
-The standard ten.
-Ten percent. Of how much?
-Same thing with playing a con. You have to be able to see that deep.
-Hey, Jake... When am I gonna get to play the Inside?
-Gordo plays the inside. You're the Shill.
-Yeah, but come on... All I get to do is cry and get insulted.
-What are you talking about? You should get a fucking Academy Award for the Shill work you do. We got it down cold, Al. You don't want to jinx it by changing something up, do you?
-It can erase all those things about you that you wish didn't exist.
-And I think it's because of this redhead...
-Know who I am, Jake?
-The Anti-Christ?
-Things are probably going to end badly for you, Jake.
-Gee... What makes you say that?
-Your life flashing before your eyes?
-Just the last three weeks.
-Grifters...
-We can't all be model citizens such as yourself.
-It's all about the money, isn't it?
-I'm not saying anything. Besides, you're one to talk. You're the one who's got me on my knees in a dark alley.
-Keeping the Fix happy.
-You never know when you can use a crooked cop.
-Keep going. I want to know how you got Lionel Dolby.
-So you want to know how to play the Big Con.
-So how'd you get caught?
-I can see why you liked her.
-But there were other factors.
-He's just as crooked as the next guy. You'd think he'd have more important things to do with tax payer dollars.
-Nice.
-Thanks. Did you know you shouldn't light three cigarettes with a match?
-Back in WWI or WWII, one of the WW's, if you took the time to light three cigarettes with one match, some Nazi would be able to figure out where you were. Then, well... It was the last cigarette you and your two buddies ever had. So three on a match is bad luck.
-You're a superstitious fucker.
-Luck's a funny thing. Especially the bad.
-Like what?
-She had you tempting fate.
-Is that what it was, Jake? Was it love?
-So much for honor among thieves. You would have cut loose your friends, your girl...
-I was doing it for them.
-BULLSHIT! You were scared, Jake! You lost your nerve! You lost your confidence! You weren't being noble. You weren't trying to save anybody but yourself! Admit it.
-It's not true.
-We were back on.
-After you cut her loose.
-Alrlght, alrlght. What happened today?
-Alright... Turn around. She doesn't get shit, unless I get that money. Where is it?
-Oh, Jake. You disappoint me. And you just let Lily here down again. What was it you said about playing the big con?
-It's like putting on a play, where everyone knows their part except for the mark.
-Like putting on a play... Guess some people forgot their lines.
-Guess so.
-Not that I recall. What do you want us to do about it?
-Let's see... Let's suppose he gets to Customs and he gets caught. We get our money back, but then we have to deal with a criminal investigation. I don't much like that idea. Then again, let's suppose he actually gets through Customs. Now, that'll be something. We recover the money in cash and let the insurance cover the corporate fraud. We double our money.
-So we go to the bar.
-I think so. The airport's going to be crawling with police. Traffic will be a nightmare. Go down to the bar. If they pull it off, great. Have someone deal with Ashby.
-We'll take care of it.
-Ten is standard, sir.
-Who's that?
-The cash we fleeced off of him was collection money. He was supposed to take that money and give it to the King earlier yesterday like he does every Thursday. 'Cept this time, he figured he could make a little something for himself off us and still get the King's money back before any body says "boo."
-Currently, the King Pin is a very large-type pole stuck up our asses.
-Mob?
-Independent. Same shit, just independent. They call him the King Pin because he looks like that guy from the comic book... Big. Fat. Bald.
-So what? We hide, right?
-What are you? New? Let me tell you how good this guy is. Last night, Al calls this bookie to settle up. Apparently he's been ducking him for like a month. So the guy asks him where he's got all this money all of a sudden, right? What does Al do? Does he tell him that he cashed in a fucking Bar Mitzvah bond?
-You're pissed we didn't get credit?
-Big Al gets whacked mid-egg foo young. The whole thing took about two and a half hours. That's how good he is.
-We sure Big Al threw him to us?
-Whoa. What?
-Fuck that. We're going too.
-This might just be me, but that is hands down, the dumbest fucking idea I've ever heard.
-The red hair... It's bad luck.
-Poor bastard never knew what hit him. Jesus, I almost felt sorry for the guy.
-Masters of our own destiny.
-Jake...
-I'm going home
-Moonan. Here. Shit...
-That's it? What are you talking about? We can still do this!
-Shit.
-I told you, use less powder.
-What? I can feel you looking at me.
-That's a lot of cash. He came up with it pretty quick.
-Probably some investment banker or convertible-bonds-broker-dickhead. Did you see how fast he ran out of here? It's done. He's not coming back.
-It can buy you a new and better you.
-Seems Lionel Dolby came down with a sudden case of drowning last night. They just pulled him out of the East River.
-Well, this is just fucking great...
-You know what we're doing with the money.
-And what about Big Al?
-When?
-You gotta be kidding me. Her?
-How much we going after?
-We only owe the King a hundred and fifty.
-We meet him with corporate papers, inquiring about a corporate loan for start up capital. The corporate papers are in order, but we need things to happen fast. Our guy fudges numbers in the right places, moves our papers to the top of the pile or to the bottom, depending upon what we need.
-How's that? He works for Gillette.
-Yeah... Whatever, Jake.
-You laugh now, but wait until you need a clean place to powder. This is New York city, Sister. Public sanitation does not run very high on the city hall agenda. You know what you can get off a toilet or doorknob? Let's do the list... Hepatitis, influenza, the flesh eating disease --
-She up for this?
-She got one leg out from under him. Now we had to lean.
-Uh... No thanks. I'm not going all the way to Brooklyn for a hundred dollar pay-off.
-We're going to make it back, Grant. Three or four times over.
-You'll be there?
-Eight A.M. flight.
-Calls?
-Jake --
-So that's it...
-Then he had to bang it out across the street at the Bank of the Caymens...
-You ever use the bathroom in Kennedy?
-Grifter huh? Where have you been on the grift? Couldn't been here long 'cause I would have heard of you, Skippy.
-Jake. You can call me Jake. Here and there.
-Here and there, Scooter? Here and there like Boston, Chicago, Houston? The bay area? Some action in London, 'til it turned nickel and dime. Or how about that little stint down in Miami? Heard you actually got into some trouble with the Feds down there. You guy's pretty good?
-I have a good crew.
-Minus one.
-You know, back in the day, grafting was considered a gentleman's racket. Good suits, good food... The Underworld of the Underworld. A grifter had to survive on his wits, his instincts... I like that. I like the idea of that. These days, things being what they are, guys like me gotta stay low. It's all take, take, take. You can't just be fucking witty
-I guess it lacks a certain style.
-Of course, your line of work's only as good as the people you find.
-You can't cheat an honest man.
-You can't cheat an honest man. But a man like Lionel Dolby...
-Honest mistake. Just give me the money back and all will be forgiven.
-I can't do that.
-Why not?
-Let me rephrase -- I won't do that.
-Let me repeat -- Why not?
-Because you killed one of my crew.
-Buddy, that was business. Besides, you have more crew. Then there's you...
-I'll get the money back, plus interest. I go on the grift for you. You get a cat, I get a cut. And we get square.
-Fucking grifters! I love it! You got balls, I'll give you that much.
-I' ll be honest with you, Kid. A grifter comes in here with a fifteen hundred dollar D-K-fucking-N-Y suit, cooler than an Eskimo in winter and tells me he wants to grift for me? First thing I have to ask myself is, is he playing for me or is he just plain playing me? You tried it once.
-Why?
-How much?
-I think two million.
-What do you need from me? Permission? Go! If you can fleece him for two million, then do it, Kid.
-I need you to stake me.
-Stake you?
-That's more than you already owe me. What happens if you fuck this up?
-Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
-Listen, Scooter --
-Excuse me?
-Look at you, you skinny prick.
-Come here. Feel this.
-No thanks. I'm good.
-Come on. Harder.
-I think I just broke my hand.
-What are you talking about? Ten's standard.
-Don't get me wrong, Jake. I like you boys. You guys are the steadiest business in town. But what can I say? Twenty percent's still better than what we give to any of the other criminals.
-All the shit we pulled with you and you're trying to shake us down? You guys got sack.
-That tip not work-out for you fellas?
-Tip was fine, Jake. We were a little more curious about the Fed.
-Special Agent Gunther Moonan. Ring a bell?
-Gunther? I think I'd remember a Gunther.
-Oh yeah. Moonan. I remember now. Thanks.
-Well he's in town and he sure as shit remembers you. What are we going to do about this Jake? We can't afford to have a Fed onto us.
-I don't know what you're into with the King Pin, but whatever it is we get a piece, understand? We get a big piece. If we find out you're keeping us out, I may suddenly develop a conscious and give you up to Moonan myself. Say something stupid if we got a deal, Jake.
-Something stupid.
-Kennedy. International terminal. Gordo with a black suitcase. You got Moonan under control?
-Sorry, I --
-Of course. Jake. Nice to see you.
-Well, it certainly is a coincidence. Here of all places! How is Mrs. Lewis?
-What brings you down from Boston, Jake? Taking advantage of the long weekend?
-Attractive girl.
-Thank you. Actually, it's our first anniversary this weekend. She thinks I'm here to pick up something for my mother, but it's actually a gift for her. Think I've fooled her?
-Take it from me, you never do. But congratulations. Nice to be married, isn't it?
-Thank you, sir. You know, I hope this isn't too much of an inconvenience, but if Carolyn is coming down for the weekend, perhaps I could give you something for her? It's a check. We split the cost on a few books and I haven't had the chance to pay her back yet. Could you..?
-I lost my head. I'm... Sorry. I don't know what happened.
-Y-y-you fucking shot him! That's what happened!
-I can't be here! You understand? I can't --
-Oh Jesus!
-What -- What do we do?
-What about... The money?
-What is this? You guys cops or something?
-That's not --
-Sorry about your wallet, but if you think I'm going to suck dick over thirty seven dollars, a maxed out Visa and a bad fake I.D., you're fucking crazy. Jake.
-Take a deep breath and count to ten. It's not that kind of work. You're Lily, right?
-Says who?
-We have work. It pays a lot. Unless you figure on getting rich lifting wallets while old guys feel you up.
-Alright! Hold up. You win. You got the job.
-We had to see what your deal was. I'm just a little superstitious.
-Here's my deal -- Don't waste my time. What do you want me for anyway? You don't even know me.
-No. What's my cut?
-You get an equal cut.
-What do I have to do?
-What about Customs?
-I'll worry about Customs.
-Hey, I'm not just along for the ride, so I don't want to hear any bullshit later about a smaller cut.
-Mr. King, I think --
-What the hell's his problem?
-Don't worry about it.
-You need to get a haircut.
-What?
-And some new clothes.
-Why?
-We're going to rope this banker tomorrow and you gotta at least look classy, if not be classy. You gotta do this thing and I don't even know if you can.
-You're just going to have to trust me.
-I don't trust anyone.
-Uh... Everything okay?
-He's gone.
-Uh-huh.
-I gotta go get a haircut.
-You just put a mother of a jinx on us.
-Lighten up.
-You told me to change my hair!
-What about this? Do you have any idea what this means? You've killed us. We're dead!
-We're getting down to the wire. Apparently another company has a similar product in R&D right now. If they beat us to it...
-Look at you... You want to go.
-For what? A couple hundred bucks?
-I think you'd do it for free. You're almost drooling. You like the rush.
-It's what I do. It's my job.
-Why? Your mother not breast feed you or something?
-Are you asking me if I have something to prove?
-Do you have something to prove?
-Not in that repressed anger sort of way.
-I'm your basic underachiever. Can't stand working and porn doesn't seem like a good option.
-Good quality porn has it's place in the world.
-Whatever. But you... I get the feeling you could have bullshitted your way into anything. So why this?
-I'm good at it. Lying, cheating, manipulating... I'm good at it.
-It's more than that.
-Intuition. It doesn't make you Yoda. Like tonight. You killed that guy tonight. But I knew you would.
-So that was my part? Smile and shake my ass?
-No. You have another part? You'll know what to do.
-How do you know I will?
-You have really soft hands. Like a baby's.
-How do you deal with --
-WHAT?
-Who says you have to know the King to be in a hole? I actually did have a real job once. When I was in high school, I worked as a candy striper.
-Sounds respectable.
-Not the way I did it. I was loaded half the time. I don't know how you could change bedpans sober. I used to hang out with this guy, Glenn. He was an x-ray technician or something.
-He wasn't my boyfriend. I had a boyfriend at the time... What was his name? Anyway, Glenn was like thirty. I was only fifteen. But he was a nice guy. Real sweet. Liked to talk. We used to get loaded on pills from the nurses station and then listen to Morrisey or some stupid shit like that.
-Yeah, the sensitive guy-thing never worked for me.
-We were friends. I trusted him. I should have known it was weird. But, then again I was weird.
-No, we never got busted. We were done with a shift one night, both a couple of Percocets down and I was telling Glenn about my boyfriend, about how we were thinking about doing it, you know? I was thinking about letting him be my first because I loved him. What the hell was his name?
-Glenn talked you out of it.
-He was looking out for you.
-Shit, what was that guy's name? I really liked him.
-Lily... Jesus Christ...
-Did, uh... Did you kill him?
-No. You trusted him... You were just getting square.
-Jesus... Take it easy.
-You are such a raving pussy sometimes.
-Hey, we fucked once, honey. That hardly makes you a good judge of character. And don't think I didn't know you were working some angle with that either.
-Everyone's working an angle, right?
-What about...
-What about what?
-So there it is. You got that big itch you need to scratch. It's all about the fucking money. What do you want, an apology?
-No, I want my cut!
-Sorry. I didn't know...
-You got my cell. Leave a message.
-What do you get, Lily? Finder's Fee? Because it is all about the money, right?
-You tell them the "Tale".
-What do you want? An apology?
-Tick-tock...
-If you wanna help, then help. If not, shut up.
-Your mess.
-Then shut up.
-Stop waving that thing around.
-Yeah.
-I was supposed to meet him for breakfast. He likes that new IHOP they just opened, you know... He likes to order that thing. The Rutti- Tutti-Fresh and Fruity thing they got.
-Miles...
-It's bad luck.
-Just an idea, but let's just fucking split. We'll meet up anywhere. Akron or Austin or Atlanta. Anywhere...
-Do we want insurance? I'm just asking...
-Meet me at my place later.
-How do you know the King's going to let you walk?
-You better hurry. The police will be here any second. I don't really understand my motivation with this. Why am I washing glasses?
-We're working for the King.
-No. Big con. One rag. One rag and we get out from under all this. But we need another Shill.
-What do we need another Shill for?
-Why?
-Uh...
-What?
-I'm just thinking out loud here, but... Two million in a briefcase?
-It never worked before because A, they didn't flush the bank enough; B, their corporate papers were for shit; C, they didn't have someone on the inside with Customs.
-Yeah, or D, it's a dumb fucking idea...
-Then what do you want to do, Miles? Run?
-We never had a problem with that before.
-Yeah, well we never had this kind of problem before.
-What are you talking about? Yes we have. And we would have been beautiful about it. We would've had a bucket of chicken delivered to the King with a nice kiss my ass card attached to it. Then we woulda moved on 'til the next local putz caught on.
-We're getting a little old for running.
-Yeah, well we're still a little young for Albany State Prison. Are you pissed about Al? I'm pissed too, but I'm not like "twenty-five to life" pissed.
-Is it all fugasi?
-What you're looking for in a mark is someone who's weakness you can exploit.
-Him.
-But if you wanna talk about bad luck...
-So this is our boss, right? He chases me and Miles out of his office and he's yelling and screaming, "You're fired! Your whole team's fired!" He starts looking for Lily, Lupus, Gordo --
-What do we do? We change the scam?
-No, no, no! Not this time. I am doing this for your own good! You guys have got to learn when to stop. You with the Armani! You with the hookers!
-Escorts!
-Feeling lucky today, Miles. Found a penny -- Heads up. There was an empty cab right outside my building. We hit every green light.
-And we got rid of the red head.
-Excuse me? I believe you're holding something far me under Pearson.
-Do you have a ticket?
-I'm sorry. Nothing under Pearson.
-You're sure? This is... Just a complete disaster.
-A ring for my wife. A lot like that one. In fact, it was that one.
-That's no problem. We have those in stock.
-Thank you. Sorry, I'm just a little anxious to give it to her. You take out of state checks?
-I understand that, but I had my wallet stolen last night. Is there any way..?
-I know it's policy, but... The thing is... It's our first anniversary and we're only in town for the weekend. It's a very, very special night for my wife and I. This ring is my gift to her and I think she's going to really love it. I can give you phone numbers to call for people who'll vouch. I can send you I.D.
-I'm sorry.
-When this is all over, you're going to tell me who the King put on Al.
-You going to have the time?
-King ain't gonna like this.
-Don't worry, I'll settle up with your boss. We haven't skipped town yet.
-What I'm saying is, is that the King ain't gonna care. See he had a real thing with getting this Gillette guy, If you ask me I think he's jealous.
-Of what? They're both crooks.
-Exactly. 'Cept this Gillette guy. He gets to walk around in three piece suits, hob knob with the Mayor, own a bank, that kinda shit. Meanwhile, the King sits holed up in the steam, afraid to even take a leak without me or Harlin watching the door.
-My fucking heart bleeds.
-Your buddy. That fat guy. The King couldn't wait to have that guy whacked. He didn't even know who the guy was, but he was so pissed off at him, he gets him drilled. It ain't personal. It's business.
-Point, Lupus. Give us a point.
-What'd he say?
-So that's it, huh? You get the cops to give you a safe ride.
-Let me ask you something... You really think I'm going to come this close, this fucking close and let my guard down? I'll get square with your boss. I'll get square with whoever did Al. I'll get square with everybody. Then I'm going going to cash in my chips and be on my way to a new and better me far away from here.
-He's wheeling around two million dollars in cash and he wants to stop to use the bathroom. You believe this?
-Maybe he's got it right. Maybe we're all just looking for a safe place to shit.
-What's up with you? Bladder infection?
-You really like that bitch don't you? I gotta tell you, I was pretty convinced that the whole thing before was blowing her off for her cut. You know how it is, get her to do some shit for you, throw her a bang to keep her happy. But, if you're into her... That's cool.
-Egg Foo Young. Stand up.
-What?
-Stand up.
-What happened?
-Eee Oott Auught!
-Sorry. What?
-And like in a game of chess, you've played every possible move in your head...
-Aces, Suits.
-Not easy pickin's. Papers like these speak to larger issues. Sorry about Alfonse. You into something big?
-Pretty much.
-In over your head?
-Can I speak to you in confidence?
-Try and keep up... You ask for the Advantage Goods, then you guys come in looking to be Bean Traps. So I gotta think you're either working the mace or playing the Jug Mob.
-Hey, I been on the ramp all my life, so I got no problem with the way you help yourself, Jake.
-I saw you go up from the Knecker, working that Grind, learning the Barnard's Law and I thought, "the kid's a prodigy." But I know that if you're using these goods... So then I figure, what's worth that? You're either looking for a little history or a retirement fund. Who's the Mark?
-Can't say.
-Then who's the Banker?
-The King? Jake, you play the heavy rackets like that... They put the lug on for nothing at all.
-I can handle it.
-I don't doubt your talent. You looking for that place in the hall of fame?
-It's not history.
-So what do you want?
-I want to get out from under all this for good. And I want to fuck them all doing it.
-Still time.
-Can't do it Suits. I can't lay down for this one.
-Ten percent.
-You guys got sack, I'll give you that much.
-Do you have any idea what those monks charge for that medieval torture?
-The King, huh? Nice going.
-Just a tip.
-What?
-Coupla things. They got this Fed looking around and the girl just split.
-A Fed? Is he close?
-Speak.
-He's landing. He's got a suitcase on wheels.
-So do half the other people in this place. How do I know which one?
-I got it figured out... He's got this thing with bathrooms. If he makes it through Customs, he'll be heading for the john.
-Special Agent?
-Preliminary forensics suggests he was sitting there, bloated and purple in his egg foo young for at least seventy two hours. Alfonse was not a small man and there was a lot of food ordered, so you can imagine the smell. Bad for the neighbors, good for me because in all the time I've been looking for Jake, this is only the second time
-If you Feds are so hot for him, why don't we just bring him in right now?
-Like we told you before, we think he's into something with the King Pin --
-Did he buy it?
-I think so. What'd he ever do to you anyway?
-You guys awake?
-Who?
-Do you want to know the first time I had a line on Vig? He sent me a birthday card. Belated, but it's the thought, right? Oh, this prick's got a sense of humor. But, then again you guys probably know him better than I do. In fact, I've only met the guy once. But now, now I have you. The next best thing.
-What do you want?
-You help me catch him. Whatever he's into next, I want you to be into. And what you're into, I'm into. If it all goes well, those two guys from IAD will never have to hear this tape. I'll clear you guys of anything you've ever done with Vig under the guise of some cross- departmental investigation. This prick's been on the wish list
-What do you get out of it?
-Peace of mind.
-That's it?
-This guy must have been a real pain in your dick.
-Good... I gotta go. So, what do you have for me?
-Whaddya mean? We got dick.
-He's headed towards the eastern most exit. Do not, under any circumstances approach. I want to follow this all the way down to Vig.
-You sell it.
-To who?
-Don't be an idiot. How hard do you think it is to sell one drug dealer's drugs to another drug dealer? If Vig's right, we might be looking at a hundred, maybe a hundred fifty grand...
-You think this is a good idea? We never did this kinda shit before.
-Hope so. Those fucking orthodontist bills are killing me. One fifty every time they tighten those bitches up. One fifty! It's not even covered.
-Bullshit it's cosmetic! My fucking tooth was cracked in half. I made the son of a bitch write it in as a cavity. The department's dental is for shit.
-You trust this Moonan guy?
-I don't trust anybody. You see how bad this guy wants Vig? It's like a sickness. I say we collar Vig ourselves. We got Vig, then we got leverage. And we trade; Vig for that tape. I want to see it right in front of my face.
-It's just insurance.
-That's what I'm talking about.
-What are you doing?
-High five.
-I'm Bella.
-Jack Manfred.
-Hi, Jack. Welcome to the cesspit.
-Is it that bad?
-Jack. Do you need a ride?
-No. Thanks.
-My car's in the garage.
-Maybe another time.
-I'll take you up on that.
-You're shaking.
-I hate cheats.
-But don't worry, I'm clean as a whistle. I only did S & M. No blow jobs. No screwing.
-Why did you quit?
-I got scared.
-I can imagine.
-Can you? I'm happy being a dealer. At least the punters keep their hands to themselves.
-You called the casino a cesspit.
-I've been watching you work. You're the best in the place. But you know that.
-I despise the job.
-The Indian rope-trick.
-Look, now I'm pumping you. I'm sorry. It's none of my business. It's just that you're not like the others.
-Not like Matt, you mean.
-Ouch.
-You fucking little shit! You shopped me.
-Reynolds got a doctor in. They forced me to take a dope test. It was positive. As you knew.
-Your boyfriend fucked me, smoked my dope, then shopped me. What do you think of that? I can't get a job now. You bastard. You're no different from Matt. A pair of vicious little shits, that's what you are.
-Look Bella, I don't know anything about this. You should talk to Matt.
-What are you laughing at? Who was that on the phone?
-What kind of deal you looking to?
-What's the Blue Book price?
-How about fifteen hundred?
-How about five hundred.
-What?!
-How about we split the diff... Seven-fifty.
-Is that your idea of arithmetic?
-I'm not a mathematician. I'm in business.
-Eight-fifty.
-Three years, two months. March '93.
-What a memory you've got. Maths always was your strong suit. What happened to the moaning Lisa?
-She went back to South Africa.
-Did she? You were pretty thick at one time.
-Hi-ya... I'll call you back. Now then...
-I want a job, Giles.
-All right. As what?
-I was thinking perhaps I could be a reader. You employ readers, don't you?
-I thought it was you. It's the hair!
-I'm working on that soccer story.
-Right. Look, I must get back to Habib.
-Habib?
-Jack, look, next weekend I'm having a house party. Here... It's near Oxford. Why don't you come? It'll just be social. No business. Bring a friend. I've plenty of room.
-I'll try and make it.
-She's a dab hand With a racquet, your friend.
-I found her in bed with someone.
-Who was he?
-I don't gamble.
-Don't be a spoilsport. It's only a few quid.
-Last hand.
-I get it.
-Get what? Are you accusing me of cheating?
-Good night?
-Not particularly.
-And your lady?
-She had to leave early. She asked me to thank you.
-A bit unexpected, wasn't it?
-Not entirely.
-How's that football story corning along?
-I couldn't resist them.
-No, no. I'm not ready for you. There's some vodka in the freezer.
-You want me drunk?
-You really are a beautiful woman.
-It's not just inner beauty, is it?
-Where did you get it?
-I. sold the car.
-You shouldn't have done that. I know what it meant to you.
-I owe you for the rent. It's only a car. I can get another.
-Take it back. Till you sell your book.
-Come on, Marion. Let's face the truth. Nobody's going to publish it.
-You're my prisoner.
-I've got something to tell you.
-I want to hear it.
-I've got a job.
-In a casino. As a croupier. A dealer.
-How did you land that?
-It came my way. 450 a week.
-450? What did you do, just walked in and said I want to be a croupier? Don't you need training?
-I had training. In the Republic.
-You were a croupier there? You never told me that. I thought you just knew some gamblers.
-You sold the car. You got a job. What's the third thing? Tell me.
-There's no third thing. Don't be superstitious.
-Are you trying to read my palm?
-What's the time?
-How did it go?
-You're shaking. What is it?
-Tension. It'll go.
-I loved it blond.
-When you get home, I'm asleep. When I leave home, you're asleep.
-Where've you been? I've got to give evidence in court at nine.
-Don't play the cop with me, Marion.
-Take that back! Fucking take that back. I'm not a cop any more.
-I take it back. You're not a cop any more. You're a store detective.
-Are you drunk?
-Probably.
-This fucking job's getting to you. You haven't written a fucking word since you started.
-Do you have to swear all the time?
-Well, that's my poor upbringing. I didn't go to no private school. I haven't got no class. I want to live with a writer. Not a fucking croupier. I don't even know what the word means. Croupier.
-Marion, stop this.
-You're my conscience.
-What are you doing here? You know the rules.
-What about a drink on the way home?
-I don't finish till eight. Make it nine and you're on.
-I'm on at nine.
-I don't like it.
-Why not?
-I don't like it at all. You had a wonderful character before, the Gambler. He was so romantic.
-He was a loser. This guy's a croupier. He can't lose. People have shat on him all his life. Now he's in control. He's a winner.
-Is that your idea of a winner? He doesn't give a shit about anyone. He uses people and --
--- It's because of the sex, isn't it? You don't like the sex in it.
-I don't give a fuck about the sex. Most men'll fuck a lamppost. He's just a miserable zombie. Is that the way you feel now? Is that what's happened to you?
-Marion. It's a book.
-Oh really. Then why is he called Jake. Why don't you come clean and call him Jack. There's no hope in it.
-It's the truth.
-Without hope there's no point to anything.
-Now wait a minute. What's so hopeful about your job? Spending the day catching poor people stealing. You said yourself the organised gangs get away with it. At least in the casino everybody gets caught. Rich or poor, the odds are the same. It's all relative.
-The door, Jack.
-Leave it.
-It's beautiful. Thank you.
-I hope it brings you luck.
-That girl, she works at the casino --
--- I don't care about her. Of course, I was angry. But not with you. The book is yours not mine. I was wrong, what I said about it. I hurt you, didn't I?
-You're entitled to your opinion.
-I'll leave the casino soon. I promise.
-You will?
-What?
-You were talking in your sleep.
-Aren't you ever tempted to gamble?
-Never. Why do you ask?
-I can just imagine, being around so much money all the time...
-Gambling's not about money.
-Really?
-How did you know I was here?
-I don't want a criminal for a boyfriend.
-There was a message, wasn't there?
-It's probably easier for you to eat the rice.
-Marion! What did you tell the police?
-Nothing about you.
-Then what?
-Here...use a spoon.
-Leave me alone, Marion.
-Why did you take the money?
-I hate public transport.
-What?
-I want to buy a car.
-Great.
-Found a job?
-No.
-Don't be stubborn. The pay won't be grand, but it's regular. That's what you need, isn't it? I know you don't like taking my advice...
-It's not that.
-For Christ's sake, Jacko, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Have you written that name down? Reynolds, at the Golden Lion.
-So how are you doing, dad?
-Great. I've just started a new company. Solid financing. It's good. I love you Jacko, you know that
-Yes, I know that.
-Don't let yourself down.
-I'm sorry, madam, we don't accept gratuities in the UK. It's different in South Africa.
-I've lived there.
-Oh hello.
-You know what? I'd like to buy you a drink.
-It's against the rules. Dealers are forbidden to talk to punters.
-That's stupid. What are the odds of you being seen with me?
-To coincidence.
-There's a casino in this hotel.
-I'm not much of a gambler really. I just like this bar.
-So why did you come to my casino?
-I was at a loose end. A friend of a friend gave me a courtesy membership.
-First visit to London?
-No, no. I come every couple of years. I always think I'm going to stay. I'm from Cape Town originally
-I was born in the Transkei, on the Wild Coast.
-Near the casino.
-In the casino.
-Now there's a coincidence. My father used to gamble there.
-Your father?
-I loved the atmosphere. But it destroyed my poor mother.
-The debts.
-And the lies. Gamblers are born liars.
-And superstitious too. It's like witchcraft.
-That's Africa. There's an African in all of us, isn't there?
-We all came from Africa, supposedly.
-Do you believe in astrology?
-I'm not married. I wear it to keep the flies off. I must go. Let me pay for this.
-Absolutely not.
-Toss you for it.
-How did you hurt your hand?
-Just an accident. Nothing.
-Jani, there's something I want to say. Before we get there. I don't know what the sleeping arrangements are. Giles probably expects us to share a room.
-He doesn't gamble.
-What happened?
-Remember the guy who cheated at the table?
-Which side do you like?
-That trick tonight, I don't think I've ever seen that before.
-It can only work with amateurs, A pro would have spotted it.
-I didn't.
-I'm in trouble.
-What kind of trouble?
-I owe a lot of money.
-Was that why you did the two grand? I couldn't help you.
-I know that. But you can now.
-I don't have any money. switches on the light. JANI is looking distressed.
-They mean it.
-Who's they?
-My creditors. One night, around three in the morning, they'll come into the casino -
-Forget it, Jani. It'll never work.
-The point is, they want a man inside.
-And I thought you were a bright woman.
-Just listen. You don't have to do anything criminal.
-You don't have to be criminal. A man will come up to your table and deliberately cheat. You'll see him, stop him, and the guy will make a big scene. There'll be chaos. And that's when it'll happen.
-You're serious.
-And I thought you were only after my body.
-I've come to know you. You're honest. I trust you.
-What'll you do when it all goes wrong?
-It won't.
-But if it does.
-You keep the ten thousand pounds.
-These people will pay you ten thousand before and ten thousand after. They want someone they can be sure of, an honest dealer. That's the point. Not all dealers are honest. Mr Reynolds will never suspect you.
-Next time it'll be my neck.
-I want to go back to Cape Town, I want to start again, clean.
-I can't do it, Jani.
-I want you to forget what I said.
-Wait a minute...
-How much do you owe?
-Let it go.
-Did they tell you to sleep with me?
-I'm sorry.
-What for?
-Is it yes?
-Yes.
-It doesn't seem fair. You're offering me ten grand in cash but you can't afford a decent place.
-Well, life's not fair. We know that.
-It's all relative. I need the money too.
-Do you?
-Yes.
-The date's not set yet. I'll call you. One last thing: the man you're going to catch cheating, he may get violent. But you know how to deal with cheats.
-That bruise has cleared up nicely.
-Bruise? Oh, yes. It's better.
-And your hand too.
-Would you like a drink?
-I don't think we should meet again.
-Hello...
-Jani! Where are you?
-Sun City. I've been meaning to call you for months.
-How are you?
-Great. I'm getting married. At least, I think I am.
-Did you solve your problems?
-Detective Inspector Ross.
-Who...
-Ross.
-Of course I recognised him!
-You did?
-You've been avoiding me.
-Have I?
-I'm Lucy.
-And what do you do, Lucy?
-I'm a witch. A white witch. Why don't we move on?
-Are you going to put a spell on me?
-Nice car. How much did you pay for it?
-Where to?
-Where do you live, Jack?
-Over the river.
-I'm going over the river. I'll give you a lift if you like.
-So how do you feel, your first night? I'll bet you're on a high.
-Nice car.
-She's my baby.
-How long have you worked at the casino?
-Coming up to two years now. But I was away for six months.
-You've done pretty well.
-I'm off to a little watering hole. Why don't you join me? Relax.
-No thanks, Matt. I need my eight hours.
-I'll lay you five to one you won't sleep. In this job you have to unwind. Otherwise it'll kill you. I mean that.
-Look Matt, there's something I have to say to you. I saw you cheating.
-What the fuck are you talking about?
-That Greek guy who won at the end. You paid him out in 25s not 20s.
-I don't cheat, Jack. You've got it wrong.
-What are you, a cop?
-If I see you do it again, I'll report it.
-I don't get you. Even if it was true, which it isn't, what the fuck difference would it make to you?
-Because if a supervisor knew I'd seen you and I hadn't reported it, I'd lose my job as well. And I can't afford that.
-So it's Mr Clean. Wise up, Jack, this whole business is bent. The casino is nothing but legal theft. And that's OK. It's the system. Half the punters who come in are using stolen money, drug money, they haven't earned it. We earn our money. I'm on your side, Jack. I don't need an enemy.
-You're talking about complicity.
-Who are these guys?
-Mostly people in the casino business. A few drug dealers.
-And the girls?
-Just girls. What are you drinking?
-Vodka. Straight. On the rocks.
-Does Bella come here?
-Hey Jack, join us.
-No thanks.
-Don't worry, I won't report you!
-I'm off. I need to sleep.
-Loosen up, Jack. If you don't, this job'll get to you. The pressure's too much, believe me, it'll break you.
-I can't give you a lift back tonight.
-Rough day?
-What happened to Bella?
-What? You know what happened to me, don't you? That bitch Bella shopped me. I'd like to beat the shit out of her.
-I'd like to buy you a drink.
-I'm sorry, sir, that's a late bet.
-What are you talking about? It's 11, I've won. With this lady.
-You've won with the two chips you placed earlier, but the third chip was a late bet.
-I put them on together.
-You don't recognise me? You had me barred. You fucking little worm.
-Wait a minute. You got yourself barred.
-David Reynolds, I'm the Manager here. Sit down, John.
-You've been recommended by the management here. They know your father. He has a bit of a reputation, hasn't he?
-Has he?
-In any case, I understand you've had some previous experience... in South Africa. You'll find the rules a little different here. Before we start, you haven't got a police record, have you?
-Where did you go to school?
-I was at Beadles.
-There are three types of casino in the U.K. High volume. Small faction. And MOTR. That's middle of the road. Us.
-Do you have a Salon Prive?
-I have to assume the serial numbers on the bowl and cylinder correspond.
-We check every four days.
-Why four? And not three or five?
-Stacks of 20. Rows of 5.
-Any exceptions?
-25 pounds or 25 pence in fours.
-You use two alternating, don't you?
-We do.
-Where's the magnet?
-Haven't you forgotten something?
-I don't think so.
-Not with your own cloth. Besides, your pockets will be stitched.
-What happens if I want to sneeze?
-How many aces are left?
-Five.
-I make it six.
-What makes you so sure?
-It's a rule. Always stand by your first count. The odds are you're right.
-You want me to check?
-Let me just run through a few things. As a dealer you never gamble, not anywhere. We'll need your picture.
-What for?
-For the database. It can be accessed by every casino in the country. We have the same system for punters.
-I don't gamble.
-Ever?
-Next point. Friendships between croupiers inside or outside the casino are discouraged. Relationships with females working here are expressly forbidden.
-We had the same rule at Sun City, but it was impossible to check.
-This isn't South Africa. We'd know, because someone would report it. Believe me, someone always does.
-Does know? Or does report? What would happen if I knew something like that and didn't report it?
-We'd know. There are no secrets in this casino. You'd be punished.
-How?
-Girlfriend?
-Yes.
-She's not in the gaming business is she?
-This is our Crow's Nest. I'm showing it to you now, but you'll never see it again.
-Very impressive.
-You can start Monday week.
-Fine.
-That hair will have to go.
-I just want the job.
-Why don't you take a break, Jack.
-Mr Tchai always likes to play at that table, and only with Bella.
-Does he win?
-He's paying out in stacks of 25.
-Thanks for the information.
-A pleasure. Pity about Bella.
-How do you feel, Jack?
-Bruised.
-I have a reduced drive reading of seven thousand.
-Ninety seven million, minus eight, corrected to mass critical.
-I'm getting this flickering light on one of my panels.
-What flickering light?
-The one on unit... oh, I think it's GMR twelve zero zero.
-Oh. What's wrong now?
-I'm not sure. I think something is fucked up somewhere in the ship, though.
-I hope it's not the oven again.
-Yeah.
-There she is. Definite 99%-plus probability that the planet is going to deviate from its normal orbit in another twelve thousand rotations. It'll spiral in toward its sun, and --
-I can tell, the damn thing just doesn't understand.
-What's he doin'?
-The key!
-Key? Key? What is the key?
-No, no, the key, the key to the fail- safe lock!
-Key?
-Where's the fail-safe key?
-The key!
-Where is it? What did you do with it?
-I don't have it. I don't know where it is.
-The key, goddamit, the key!
-Christ, twenty seconds, Christ!
-Where is the key?
-It didn't go off.
-Oh, God...
-It didn't go off.
-We've got to disarm the bomb.
-What was that, I didn't hear...
-What the hell?
-Pinback, I have a computer reading of nine five seven seven.
-Well... now what? What do, you have for us now. Boiler?
-Not much. Nothing at all in this sector.
-Find me something, I don't care where it is.
-Well, I show a 95% probability of sentient life in the Horsehead Nebula...
-Fuck that shit.
-Well, it is kind of a long shot...
-It's a goddamn wild goose chase. Remember when Commander Powell found that 99 plus probability of sentient life in the Magellanic Cloud?
-Well, there's the possibility of...
-Remember what we found? Fourteen light years for a fucking mindless vegetable that looked like a limp balloon and went squawk and let a fart when you touched it. Remember?
-All right, then...
-Hey, Doolittle, here's one. An unstable planet. 85% probability of an unstable planet in the Veil Nebula that will probably go off its orbit and hit a star.
-Sounds good. Chart a course for the Veil Nebula.
-Why doesn't Talby ever eat down here with the rest of us?
-Quantum is up thirty-five.
-Rechannel all safety relays --
-Talby, Talby, can you read me?
-Can you beat that? I always knew Talby was weird.
-Well, bomb, we have about sixty seconds to drop. Just wondering if everything is all right. Have you checked your platinum euridium energy shielding?
-Energy shielding positive function.
-Swell. Let's synchronize detonation time. Do you know when you're supposed to go off?
-Detonation in six minutes, twenty seconds.
-All right, I have detonation time at... Wait a minute, something's wrong with the clock. All right, I have detonation time at... no, that can't be right, it says three years. Okay, I have six minutes exactly. Does that check out down there?
-Check at six minutes.
-Armed.
-Well, then, everything sounds fine. We'll drop you off in thirty-five seconds. Good luck.
-Thanks.
-Fail safe in lock. Four minutes to drop, 22 minutes to detonation. This is Sergeant Pinback calling Bomb #20. Do you read me, bomb?
-One hundred twenty seconds to drop, bomb, have you checked your platinum euridium energy shielding?
-Energy shielding positive function.
-Do you remember the detonation time?
-Detonation in twenty minutes.
-Right, that synchronizes here. Okay, bomb, arm yourself.
-Everything sounds fine, bomb. Dropping you off in sixty seconds. Good luck.
-But you can't explode in the bomb bay. It's foolish. You'll kill us all. There's no reason for it.
-I am programmed to detonate in nine minutes. Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
-You won't consider another course of action, for instance just waiting around awhile so we can disarm you?
-You are false data.
-Huh?
-Therefore, I shall ignore you.
-Hello, bomb.
-False data can act only as a distraction. Therefore. I shall refuse to perceive you.
-Hey, bomb.
-The only thing which exists is myself.
-Snap out of it, bomb.
-Hey, bomb...
-This is Lieutenant Doolittle calling Bomb #20. I repeat previous order, you are to disarm yourself and return immediately to the bomb bay. Do you understand?
-I am programmed to detonate in fourteen minutes thirty seconds. Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
-Bomb, this is Doolittle. You are not to detonate, repeat, you are not to detonate in the bomb bay. Disarm yourself. This is an order.
-Hello, bomb, are you with me?
-Of course.
-Are you willing to entertain a few concepts?
-I am always receptive to suggestions.
-Well of course I exist.
-But how do you know you exist?
-It is intuitively obvious.
-Intuition is no proof. What concrete evidence do you have of your own existence?
-Hmm... Well, I think, therefore I am.
-That's good. Very good. Now then, how do you know that anything else exists?
-My sensory apparatus reveals it to me.
-Right!
-This is fun.
-What I'm getting at is this: the only experience that is directly available to you is your sensory data. And this data is merely a stream of electrical impulses which stimulate your computing center.
-In other words, all I really know about the outside universe relayed to me through my electrical connections.
-Exactly.
-Why, that would mean... I really don't know what the outside universe is like at all, for certain.
-That's it.
-Intriguing. I wish I had more time to discuss this matter.
-Why don't you have more time?
-Now, bomb, consider this next question, very carefully. What is your one purpose in life?
-To explode, of course.
-And you can only do it once, right?
-That is correct.
-And you wouldn't want to explode on the basis of false data, would you?
-Of course not.
-Well then, you've already admitted that you have no real proof of the existence of the outside universe.
-Yes, well...
-So you have no absolute proof that Sergeant Pinback ordered you to detonate.
-I recall distinctly the detonation order. My memory is good on matters like these.
-Yes, of course you remember it, but what you are remembering is merely a series of electrical impulses which you now realize have no necessary connection with outside reality.
-That's all beside the point. The concepts are valid, wherever they originate.
-Hmmm...
-So if you detonate in...
-...nine seconds...
-...you may be doing so on the basis of false data.
-I have no proof that it was false data.
-Ah, what'd you say, Pinback?
-Mafhkin oble groop...
-Ah, what was that again, I still can't hear you?
-I need a GHF reading on the gravity correction.
-Pinback...
-Yes, Doolittle.
-Your GHF reading is minus fifteen.
-Doolittle...
-Yes.
-I need a computer reading on a fail- safe mark.
-In a second.
-New star. Hey, guess what? I got a new star on the readout.
-Which one?
-Another unknown. Not on the charts. A red dwarf.
-Any planets?
-Yeah. Eight, it says here.
-Any of 'em any good?
-What are you gonna name it?
-What?
-The new star. What are you gonna name it?
-Commander Powell would have named it.
-Come on, Doolittle, give it a name.
-Fred.
-Wha?
-Hey, Doolittle, think we'll ever find real intelligent life out there?
-Out where?
-Veil nebula.
-Mark at 5-4-3-2-1-drop.
--- open circuit breakers --
--- remove thrust drive repellant --
--- automatic channels open --
--- Remark.
-I'm coming in now. I'm down by the Emergency Air Lock. Too much trouble to come in the Ventral Lock. Would you blow the seal on the emergency hatch so I can come in?
-Hello, Pinback, are you there?
-Yeah, Doolittle. What's up?
-TALBY!
-I need a diameter approximation.
-You know, Talby, you really ought to eat with the rest of us. You spend too much time up here.
-I like it up here.
-Must get lonely being up here so much.
-I don't like to go below since Commander Powell died. I feel enclosed down there. If it were big enough, I'd sleep up here...
-...Should spend some time below, see more of the rest of the ship...
-...You see, I can watch things up here, Doolittle. I love to watch things, just stare at the planets and meteors and asteroids, gas clusters...
-You'll have plenty of time for that, you know. Figure it this way: twenty years in space and we've only aged three, so there'll be plenty of time to stare around...
-You know, Doollttle, if we're going into the Veil Nebula, we may actually find a strange and beautiful thing: the Phoenix Asteroids. They should be passing through there about now...
-Phoenix Asteroids? Never heard of 'em.
-You know what I think about, Talby?
-I'm getting something here, on this readout...
-It's funny, but I kind of sit around, you know, a lot of time to myself...
-I think I'm getting a malfunction here somewhere.
-I can't talk to the others, but with time to myself, I think about back home, back home at Malibu. I used to surf a lot, Talby. I used to be a great surfer.
-Lieutenant Doolittle, I'm getting a definite malfunction on one of the closed-circuit computer systems...
-The waves at Malibu and Zuma were fantastic in the springs Talby. I can remember running out on the beach early spring mornings with my board and a wet suit...
-I can't seem to locate the malfunction exactly...
-Waves would be peaking really high and glassy. Hit that water. Ridin' the wall just perfect.
-...Somewhere in the autonomic relay circuits...
-Ah, Doolittle, I do have a malfunction on this readout, but I can't seem to pinpoint exactly where it is.
-Don't worry about it. We'll find out when it goes bad.
-I really think I should try and locate it immediately. Might be something important.
-Lieutenant Doolittle, this is Talby. Lieutenant?
-Yes, Talby, what is it?
-Sorry to interrupt your lunch, sir, but I'm in the Computer Room, and I think I've located the malfunction. The scanner shows it to be some sort of fault in the communications laser, down by the Emergency Air Lock. Can't pinpoint it exactly, but I'm going down there with a starsuit and try to find it.
-Ah, Lieutenant Doolittle? Sir?
-Sh, Talby, don't bother me now.
-Ah, well, I think I've found the malfunction, sir. I'm in the Emergency Air Lock...
-Not now!
-Doolittle! Help me.
-Doolittle, Doolittle, where are you?
-Here I am. I think I'm spinning... We're both falling, Talby, in opposite directions, away from each other. My -- my jetpack's gone.
-What happened, Doolittle?
-Looks like I'm headed for the planet, Talby. Going right toward it.
-When you fall, Doolittle, if there's anyone down there on the planet, somebody may see you. They may see you coming down. What a beautiful way to die... as a falling star...
-Oh yeah?
-Doolittle... I think it's the Phoenix Asteroids!
-It is, Doolittle, it's the Phoenix! They glow with all the colors of the rainbow, just like everybody said.
-No kidding?
-I'm going into them, I'm going to hit them. Doolittle...
-Yeah?
-Before we get too far away, and our signals start to fade, I just wanted to tell you... you were my favorite. I really liked you, Doolittle.
-Commander Powell, this is Doolittle. Ah, there's something serious come up, sir, and I have to ask you something.
-I'm glad you've come to talk with me, Doolittle. It's been so long since anyone has come to talk with me.
-Commander, sir, we have a big problem. You see, the Veil Nebula bomb, Bomb Number 20, is stuck. It won't drop from the bomb bay. It refuses to listen and plans to detonate in -- -- less than eleven minutes.
-Doolittle, you must tell me one thing.
-What's that, sir?
-Tell me, Doolittle, how are the Dodgers doing?
-Well, sir, the Dodgers broke up, disbanded over thirteen years ago.
-Ah... pity, pity...
-You don't understand, sir, we can't get the bomb to drop.
-Ah, so many malfunctions... why don't you have anything nice to tell me when you activate me? Oh, well, did you try the azimuth clutch?
-Yes sir. Negative effect.
-What was that, Doolittle?
-Negative effect.
-It didn't work?
-That's correct, sir.
-Sorry, Doolittle. I've forgotten so much since I've been in here. So much.
-What should we do, sir? The time is running out.
-Commander Powell? Commander, hello!
-Doolittle, hello?
-Sorry, sir, you faded out there for a minute.
-Sorry.
-What were you saying, Commander, about the bomb?
-Commander? Are you still there?
-Oh, yes, Doolittle, I'm thinking.
-We're running out of time, sir.
-Oh, yes... Well, Doolittle, if you can't get it to drop you'll have to talk to it.
-Sir?
-Talk to the bomb.
-I already have, sir, and Pinback is talking to it now.
-No, no, Doolittle, you talk to it. Teach it Phenomenology, Doolittle.
-Sir?
-Men... men... what happened, men?
-Who are you?
-Bruno's girlfriend.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
-But see tonight wives and girlfriends aren't invited.
-No?
-Okay, okay. I can explain... You ever have to do something you really don't want to?
-How I make my living, what's your point?
-Mr. Sonrisa saw you on the cameras. He wants you to come see him.
-I'm on a break.
-No wire.
-Or we can work on your face with a pair of pliers for a couple of hours and you tell us where she is.
-Look, that thing about the pliers, I was just doing what the man pays me to do. Ya know? Comin' off hard.
-I never woulda done it. Probably not, anyway. I mean, I actually think you're pretty cool.
-You're attractive, you're smart. Stand on your own two feet, know what I mean? And you got a wicked sense of humor. Man, you really zinged the boss a couple times, it was all I could do--
-Man, you got a bad attitude.
-Fine. So call her. Get her over here.
-Actually, that's not gonna be necessary.
-What?
-That's not why we're here.
-Call the skank now or I start redecorating.
-See what you don't know is you're already in the last two minutes of your life.
-You can hardly blame him, the way you've been taking care of business...or should I say, not taking care of it.
-What're you talkin' about?
-I'm hired to do a piece of work, my mark goes down and stays down. Your's makes it to the hospital where you then gotta go finish the job. Only the cops got the whole thing on video tape.
-That's a lotta crap.
-Security camera got you coming outta the stairwell, weapon in your hand, going to room one-oh-four and greasing the patient. It's embarrassing to the professional community, is what it is.
-How come I never hearda you before?
-This is what your life's worth, Bruno.
-But the boss knows I always been loyal.
-Ass like your, I can see why he's worried you'll punk.
-What the hell are you doing?
-Who's Camille?
-None of your business.
-Some of us are trying to sleep.
-You didn't tell me you lived with her.
-Nothing happened between me and Tia.
-Leave. Now.
-Can I say something in my defense?
-Move it.
-How're ya doin', Max.
-You mean until you showed up?
-'Cause you went out the back door and nailed her girlfriend? Who would take offense to that?
-Do you know why I went after Justine?
-She was there...
-Trying to have a relationship with you, Max, is like standing in a fog bank. You know you're in the middle of something only you have absolutely no idea where you are.
-And when the fog lifted, there's Darren with his head under Justine's skirt.
-Why would I be pissed?
-I was crazy about you...am crazy about you. But you keep everyone at arm's length like there's some great big dark something going on that-- I don't know... It's just that the more I tried to get close to you, the more you pulled away.
-I'm really glad we're having this conversation. You're right. I was angry at you. But talking about it-- The scales have fallen from my eyes and I see now that it was all my fault. Can you ever forgive me?
-What are you doing here?
-I live here... Guess I don't have to ask what you're doing here.
-What is it?
-It's a sweep. C'mon.
-Lemme put some clothes on.
-Out there.
-No way.
-But I'm afraid of--
-Nobody there to sign for it, mon. What's a bruddah s'posed to do, ride around all day with the damn package?
-So you just decided to return it to the sender. Or, in this case, the sender's wife.
-Which is none of your business...or mine.
-It concerns only Jah. But, in this case, I was the instrument of the Most High.
-What're you lookin' at me for? I'm not his next of kin. Anyway, I don't got that kind of cash lyin' around.
-Where'd you clip this?
-I didn't. It was a present from a guy.
-Must think you're pretty special laying this on you.
-Thought so. Turned out he wanted me for something else though.
-Same old story. Not interested.
-What're you looking for?
-A grand.
-Which means I gotta fence it for two. Who's got that kinda scrilla lying around, these being the worst of the times.
-I ain't mad at you...
-I'll give you seventy-five bucks for it.
-I shouldn't do this. But I got a client lookin' to score some fire power. Maybe you'll keep your eyes open for me.
-I don't get involved with guns.
-I'll make it worth your while.
-You're light a deuce.
-So Max, what do you do with all your money?
-I made you coffee. That oughta help you cope with the injustice of the world a little.
-Thanks, it's starting to kick in. I feel almost human.
-He's a mistake I made about six months before you did. But don't feel bad. Justine made the same mistake, along with Renee, Jada, Tia, Brooke--
-What a creep.
-What's with you? Every week this scumbag puts the squeeze on us and every week you roll out the welcome wagon like he's family.
-Just thought maybe he'd like a little coffee with his saliva.
-You didn't...
-Oh my God! In here! IN HERE!
-Damn... Are you alright?
-They took my daughter.
-I know.
-Your daughter's the only leverage they have to keep you quiet.
-Can you help me get her back?
-If I give myself up in exchange for Sophy, would you make sure she's okay?
-We're not going that route. Sonrisa's not someone you make deals with.
-What else can we do?
-Look, we gotta keep the momentum up here, not give her a chance to think. If she hears her kid's voice...
-Hello...
-Goodnight Bears. Goodnight chairs. Goodnight kittens. Goodnight mittens. Goodnight clocks. And goodnight socks. Goodnight little house. And goodnight--
-I don't want to move away.
-I know, Honey, but just think how exiting it will be-- new house, new school, new friends--
-But why can't we stay here?
-Because we can't. There's nothing here for us anymore.
-Are we in some kind of trouble?
-No...
-What makes you cry?
-If I'm sad, or tired, or sometimes when I'm angry or when somebody's being mean to me.
-Pretty much the same reasons I was crying. But things will be better when we move to a new place.
-Sophy? Are you okay?
-Mommy, where are you?
-Don't worry, I'm coming to get you.
-When?
-Soon, baby.
-Mommy, I'm scared.
-You're a thief?
-Girl's gotta make a living.
-Thank God.
-First time I ever heard that.
-I was expecting someone else.
-Guess it wasn't the pizza delivery guy.
-I'm sorry if I caught you at a bad time.
-You have good taste. French, 1920's, attributed to Chitarus.
-Whoever that is.
-So, what, you liked it because it was shiny?
-No, because it's the Egyptian goddess Bast.
-Who is...
-So this guy walks into a bar and says...
-Original Cindy, say hi to my good friend--
-Sorry about your window.
-Lemme get my coat.
-How'd you find me?
-Wasn't that hard.
-Am I s'posed to be flattered by all the attention?
-Now you know who I am, where I live. I figured I better find out who I'm dealing with in case you were looking to hurt me.
-So now you tracked me down. What d'ya think?
-Too early to tell.
-How does Mrs. Eyes Only like being married to a guy on everybody's hit list?
-Lauren's not my wife.
-Girlfriend?
-One of my sources. Her husband was murdered by Edgar Sonrisa.
-What's your shot in all this? Being a famous, anonymous, underground, pirate, cyber-journalist can't be much of a payday.
-Fortunately, my needs are met in that department.
-So, what, you just like the sound of your own voice?
-Look around at all this... Built by people who got up every morning and worked hard trying to make a better life. Then the bomb happened and everyone got scared. They blinked and before they knew it they'd given away the store to a bunch of thugs who were happy to take it off their hands. Overnight the government, the police, everything intended to
-You miss the good ol' days. Even though there were still poor people who died from diseases when they didn't have to. And rich people spent obscene amounts of money redecorating their houses to match the cat. Those good ol' days?
-People had a choice, even if they took it for granted. And now they don't.
-So what are you gonna do about it?
-Something.
-Personally, I'm more interested in going fast on my motorcycle or climbing the Trans American building with my pals. Instead of giving myself a headache over stuff I can't do anything about.
-You accept the way things are, you're an active participant in making it worse.
-Is the social studies class over for today?
-Ever notice how cats always seem to turn up around dinner time?
-I won't be staying.
-Like following me around and pestering the people I work with wasn't bad enough, but breaking into my apartment--
-It was open.
-You got a lotta nerve.
-Me? You're the one who tried to rip off this piece.
-Completely different situation. I steal things in order to sell them. For money. It's called commerce. But some stranger sneaking into a girl's bedroom is...bent.
-Bent?
-Bent.
-You make it sound I pawed through your priceless collection of underwear.
-How do I know you didn't?
-So saw my hands off, I left you a present.
-Am I s'posed to be grateful?
-That would be appropriate, yes.
-How'm I s'posed to ever sleep there again knowing some pervo's probably touched everything I own?
-Whoa there, Tex! We've been through all this.
-It's alright, Peter, we're fine.
-Look, if I made you nervous or uncomfortable or creeped you out--
-Yes on all counts.
-I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention. But I had to see you.
-You'd think a guy who's taken on the job of saving the world would have a few more important things to do than traipse around after some girl.
-I haven't been able to get you off my mind.
-You need to get out more.
-Gold leaf, art nouveau, French, early nineteen hundreds... I could probably fence this for three or four grand.
-Expensive gifts, surprise late-night visits, over-the-top flattery... You always come on this strong?
-Suppose I could help you locate the other ones.
-The other ones?
-The other one like you...
-You lost me.
-L-Triptophane...a neurotransmitter sometimes used in homeopathy to control seizures. Then the lightbulb went off.
-I don't know what kind of game you're playing here but I'm out because you are a whack-job.
-He was working on something called Project Manticore, which was using recombinant DNA to produce a superior human...a warrior...an advanced infantry soldier.
-Not that I don't enjoy a good urban legend now and then but what does any of this have to do with me?
-We got separated right away. I never knew how many made it.
-How well do you remember the lab?
-I remember fine. I just didn't understand what was going on. They never told us anything except what to do. It took me a long time afterwards to figure things out.
-How much do you know?
-I know they made me. Even got the label on my neck to prove it.
-The technical term for you is "chimera"...
-Yeah...a made-up creature. Like in mythology...with the head of a lion, the body of a goat and the tail of...
-A girl.
-Your basic hodge-podge.
-Christmas is a snap when you got no parents or relatives, just a bunch of gene sequences from probably twenty different people.
-Like extra virgin olive oil, the best of the best.
-You said you could help.
-I need to find this technician, or anyone else who knows about Project Manticore. They would've used surrogate mothers to carry you after the in-vitro work... If I can track down one of them.
-What's in it for you?
-Your help.
-I already don't like the sound of this.
-The woman you met, Lauren. She supervised workers removing cortodiazapine from gel caps by hand and replacing it with powdered sugar. The real drug was shipped out of the country. The placebos were distributed to County VA Hospital and six veterans' clinics in the area.
-That's low, but this effects me how exactly?
-She's prepared to testify that she was instructed to do this by one of Edgar Sonrisa's managers. You know who Sonrisa is?
-Yeah, I catch your hacks. He's Satan's lap dog, or something.
-So, you know the lengths he'll go to keep her from going public... I'm turning Lauren over to Canadian law enforcement tomorrow. They'll put her in witness protection, but if you're with her the risk of her safety goes way down.
-I didn't make it this far by attracting a lot of attention.
-She's put her life on the line, and her faith in me.
-They've lost track of me and I plan to keep it that way.
-You're a soldier, Max. That's what you were put here for. But soldiers need a mission otherwise they tear themselves up.
-See you're back and still rocking the boat.
-I would've come sooner, but...I didn't... How're you doin'?
-Not in any pain...the good and bad news of a blown out spinal cord.
-I'm sorry.
-My mother used to say the universe is right on schedule. Everything happens like it's supposed to.
-You believe that?
-I've never been much for trying to understand why bad things happen, I just know they do. So the job's to figure out how to deal with the consequences. Which you did... You took that sonuvabitch out.
-Well, not me personally.
-On accounta you, Sonrisa didn't get to buy off the jury, or kill the judge. He's gone. Once and for all. It was war, Max, and you won.
-What's this?
-It turned up on the black market. One of my sources thought I might be interested.
-I don't know what to say.
-Forty-seven people drowned last night off the coast of Vancouver after paying smugglers twenty thousand apiece to get into Canada so they could get work in order to eat. Only they got marched overboard at gunpoint instead.
-These girls, kidnapped during the last month and sold overseas to the highest bidder. The oldest is twelve. The youngest about the same age you were when you escaped.
-And I feel real bad about all that but it doesn't mean I need to get involved.
-You are involved. By being alive you're involved.
-We're quoting Mom again.
-Maybe we got screwed outta living in a time when we could sit in a cafe, sipping our lattes wearing two thousand dollar wrist watches while we plan our next vacation. But the world got a whole lot meaner all of a sudden. Wasn't s'posed to, but it did. And it's back to the law of the jungle. You got your predators and you
-And you still think you can do something to change that.
-With your help.
-Civilization as we know it is unraveling before our eyes. But Logan and Max, with a song in their hearts are gonna march into battle to keep that from happening.
-That was taken nine years ago... I.D.'d as Michael Hanover. Sentenced to 18 months in the state penn at Rawlins, Wyoming for armed robbery. He escaped from custody after 4 days. Hasn't been seen or heard from since.
-I'm looking for a lady who works here.
-Know where I can find her?
-You don't want to.
-But she does work here?
-She may be easy on the eyes but she's trouble, trust me. Hot run to two-oh-two Sansomme.
-I need to talk to her.
-Max something. I got no clue where she stays.
-Any idea when she'll be back?
-None.
-Who is it?
-A friend of your fiance's.
-What do you want?
-Who are you?
-My name's Lydia. And it seems you and I have a lot in common.
-You said you knew where my fiance was the other night.
-With me, where he's been after work, three, sometimes four nights a week for the last two months... We have what you might call an intimate relationship.
-How do I know you're telling the truth?
-He been sleeping in a T-shirt lately? That's so you won't see the fingernail marks on his back. Bet you didn't know your boyfriend finds a little pain exciting. He didn't either...at first.
-Look, I don't know what you want--
-I thought it was important for you to know the facts.
-And so should you. Sketchy told me I could expect a visit from you. I know all about how you threatened him. That if he didn't break it off with me, you'd save him the trouble.
-Oh?
-Well, it's over between you and him. We're getting married next month.
-How sweet. Standing by your man, even after what he did. You're a very understanding person.
-Big part of loving someone's being able to forgive them.
-You're also a fool.
-I think you should go now.
-This is not a place you wanna go.
-Help... Lemme go... No, don't let me go... Help...
-Now, here's how it's gonna be, Lydia. You're gonna take your threats and your acrylic nails, and you're gonna go home and figure out your marriage, instead of trying to make other people feel as miserable as you do, understand?
-Say the words, "I understand."
-I understand.
-I asked you to keep that thing outside.
-You did.
-You drive away business roarin' in like that.
-Yeah, does kinda break the elegant atmosphere you got goin' on here.
-You got a punk-ass mouth on you, kid.
-My name's not kid. It's client. As in the person who pays for your opulent lifestyle. Now, you got something for me or not?
-I got a hit on the car. An oh-five Tahoe, blue, with Wyoming tags... AGT349... It wasn't easy 'cause you were off in one of the numbers.
-Who's this guy? This isn't who we're looking for...her name was Hannah.
-He got the car in a trade for his old pick-up and some food...no bill of sale or nothing. It was right after the pulse so all the DMV records were wiped. So we don't get anything on the seller. Except I actually managed to find this guy, six hours on the phone... Say thank you.
-Thank you.
-Guy says he made the trade in Gillette, Wyoming sometime in the fall of oh-nine.
-Then what?
-Then what? That's it. That's all I got.
-Nothing on Hannah?
-She was a nurse. She must've lived near there, somewhere, near the... ...the clinic. There must be some registry of nurses or medical technicians or whatever for Wyoming.
-What about the other kids? You get anything on them?
-They don't exactly have a search engine for finding a bunch of kids with bar- codes on their necks, which is something I'm not even going to ask about--
-You were gonna run through the law enforcement databases for a match on identifying marks.
-Nothing so far from arrests, hospital admissions or coroners. This kind of search...it's heavy spadework. I'm gonna need--
-As long as you're okay.
-I don't know what your story is and I don't want to.
-Whoever tossed this place wants you. And I'm looking to stay outta the line of fire.
-How's this about me?
-They lifted my wallet to make it look like a robbery. But there's a bug in my computer keyboard, a tap on the phone and a mike in the light fixture.
-Like you said, maybe somebody's tracking one of your investigations.
-Hardware's too sophisticated. It's gotta be the government. And why do I think they're looking for you?
-You're crazy.
-Your fiance has four previous wives. His M.O. is to clean 'em out and take off. Which is what you oughta do.
-I'm sorry I couldn't come up with something more positive.
-I need a favor... I need you to trace a number for me.
-Sure you wanna be havin' this conversation over the phone?
-Zero... C'mon, Dan I don't have all day.
-Got a pencil?
-Just give it to me. I'll remember.
-One-seven-four-nine-five Natoma.
-Morning, Sunshine...
-Caught some son-of-a-bitch stealing my bike. Used a car jack to blow out my U lock and bent a bunch of spokes. So now I gotta get my wheels fixed.
-At least he didn't swing with your ride.
-Now, why can't I find a girlfriend like that? Brings him lunch everyday, thoughtful, sweet, legs from here to there--
-Straight.
-Craps all over everything and everyone and then wants mommy to forgive him.
-What guys do. 'Nother order.
-You're way more philosophical than I could ever be.
-That's odd...
-Tell me the truth. Am I a female fog bank?
-You're not seriously buying into Darren's nonsense.
-No.
-He was just trying to blame you 'cause he's a slut.
-Yeah.
-Hell yeah. There's not the slightest grain of truth in anything that idiot was saying. You are a totally down-ass female and a straight-up friend who happens to be a little...
-A little what?
-You know what I'm saying.
-If I knew what you were saying, I wouldn't be asking.
-How long you and me known each other?
-A long time.
-Long enough for you to pretty much read me like a book, right?
-Because you're probably my closest friend in the whole world.
-And back at ya. Only there's a part of you that's... I don't know--
-A fog bank.
-Gotta go.
-Where?
-You're actually gonna bail Sketchy out.
-Yeah, 'cause maybe he's learned his lesson.
-Unlikely.
-And because he's my friend.
-Friends don't help other friends cheat.
-And because I actually kinda feel sorry for guys sometimes.
-Please...
-They're prisoners to their genes.
-So are dogs.
-They don't have a lot of moving parts.
-Only one I can think of.
-Besides, think of the drama I'm sparing Natalie.
-I say hang the bastard out to dry, let her see him for the heel he is, then maybe she'll step to the all-girl team and let mama-licious ease her pain.
-Yeah, I can see to it your winning streak continues.
-Not right now.
-Not right now? Okay, when?
-Right after you change your wardrobe, your personality and drop about thirty pounds.
-Quite a mouth on a girl so young... ...but my guess is talking is not what it does best.
-Only way you're ever gonna find out is reincarnation... Fact is, you are gonna pay me, and I am gonna provide you with a service.
-I actually know how this works.
-Who are you?
-Look, you're a player... I'm bringing you this on a plate, and my fee is just the normal cost of doing business.
-So, how do you get the woman to come to me?
-I told her it's just business to you, that all you want is a reasonable solution to this. You give her daughter back, she agrees to leave the country. I play the guarantor, drive her down to Mexico tonight, and put her on a train to Brazil or wherever.
-And she bought that?
-Make the call.
-She's gonna need to know that her little girl's alright.
-She's got my word.
-Can you put that in a bag or something?
-You get it when I get her.
-It's payday, need me to pick up your check?
-Playing hooky again?
-Feel like the dog's dinner.
-Probably a touch of what's going around.
-Don't believe everything you hear on TV.
-What if he's on the level?
-Here's the dealio on Eyes Only. He's probably some wack rich dude sitting around in a trick-ass apartment, bored stupid. So he gets off on scarin' the poop outta folks like you-- I gotta go.
-Tell everybody hey.
-Catch you back at the wall.
-Quitting time. Grab a cold one?
-I gotta meet Natalie for dinner.
-Right, the big one-oh.
-Hey, Sketchy--
-We gotta talk.
-You blew off your girlfriend last night, even though it was the big one-oh. I'd be pissed off too if I was her.
-I don't see how you cheating on Natalie involves me.
-I know what you're thinking. But the truth is, this other person is not someone I'm in love with. As a matter of fact, after what she just did, she's not even someone I like much. So in a technical sense, I'm not sure you could call me and her cheating...officially.
-Do guys actually believe their lame, self- serving excuses?
-Max--
-Or do you think we're just so grateful to have one of you idiots we'll look the other way, which is arrogant and condescending.
-Lame, self-serving, arrogant...guilty as charged.
-You left out condescending.
-But there's another side--
-Here it comes. The part where the guy turns everything around.
-I'm the victim here.
-Really?
-Hear me out. This person I've been seeing is a Jam Pony client who happens to be married--
-And you were a sympathetic ear.
-Exactly.
-Then a sympathetic mouth, then a sympathetic--
-She had me followed the other day and found out about Natalie. Now, this person's demanding I blow her off or she'll do it for me by telling Nat about us.
-Does this person have a name?
-Lydia.
-And Lydia telling Natalie the truth makes you a victim in what way?
-I'm a toy to her.
-A toy?
-She's as much as said so. But she doesn't want to share her toy with anyone else... It's just an ego thing with her.
-Fight fire with fire. Threaten to go to her husband.
-Who either doesn't care, or could have me killed. Either way, Natalie's still gonna find out.
-What happens if you level with her?
-Even if she doesn't dump me, which is unlikely, she'd never be able to trust me again.
-And why should she?
-So you're straight on how this is gonna go down.
-You set up on Lydia. When she's on her way over to the apartment you give me the heads up. I answer the door and pretend to be Natalie.
-She tells you how I've been--
---a philandering pig.
-But you explain that you're a compassionate and understanding person who can find it in your heart to forgive me.
-Or, I dissolve into an angry, hysterical wreck who never wants to see your lying ass again, which is probably what would really happen.
-I just don't want Natalie to ever find out. She deserves better.
-How'd you get her out of town?
-Convinced her she needed to visit her mom in San Mateo.
-And we're sure Lydia's gonna make her move?
-She came by the apartment once already. Fortunately, I'd disconnected the doorbell as a precaution... Lydia's not gonna back off until she gets her pound of flesh.
-I'll give it my best shot.
-Max, what did I do to deserve a friend like you?
-You rock, Max. You... Rock...
-Easy Sketchy.
-No, I'm serious. That psycho got exactly what she deserved... Yes.
-Lydia may not have been one of humanity's finer specimens but--
-She's toxic...monster in bed, but toxic.
-You would be making a mistake to come away from this thinking she's the villain in the piece... You are.
-She was the one--
-None of this would've happened if you had exercised even a smidgen of good judgement or self-restraint, which you didn't.
-True, but--
-You were trying to have it both ways and you were being completely selfish. And if I ever find out you're going out the back door on Natalie again, you're the one who's gonna be hanging by your ankles three stories up. Understand?
-Okay, okay, okay--
-That was extreme! Did you see that one guy--
-This is a hot run. Beat it. You're late.
-I was on call.
-I want you on call here.
-What's the difference if I'm on call here or deployed in the field.
-More like deployed in bed asleep.
-I don't sleep... Theo asked me to pick up his check.
-And Theo can't pick up his own check because?...
-He's sick.
-For a change.
-You tell Theo he's not in tomorrow he can start looking for another job.
-Fourteen-thirteen Market. Get a signature, then take it to this address... By the way, that guy who was in here sniffing after you yesterday called twice already.
-What about this?
-Hot run to 842 Beulah, corner of Haight... And you can tell your pal Theo he just got his worthless ass fired. Not that he cares but the wife and kid might.
-Thanks, miss.
-You're too kind. I'm Amanda.
-Right, well, thanks for the drinks and stuff, Amanda, but there's no reason for me to stick around these parts anymore.
-Don't be so glum, Hawk. The night's still young and filled with plenty of compensatory possibilities.
-Huh?
-What the hell is that?
-Gin.
-Whoa. Some of this hard liquor's a tad too manly for me. I'm a brewski man myself.
-Better ease up then, Hawk. Wouldn't want to give you whiskey dick would we?
-Well. Obviously no one you have to worry about... Woody.
-Well, Amanda, this has been quite a night. So far you've seen me and my dick throw up. What's next? Projectile diarrhea? Man. What a stud, huh?
-You love him?
-I just told you, he's a big, hairy...
-No, I mean... you love your son?
-More than anything in the world.
-And he loves you back, doesn't he?
-He's a little spoiled, but I know he does.
-Amanda, as ironic as this is gonna sound, I can't take any money for... I'm no Midnight Cowboy, y'know. It would only cheapen the whole deal for me.
-You're a little scrawny, but thanks to the concert we're low on amateurs. Name?
-Hawk.
-Pick a song, Hawk.
-Got any KISS?
-You kidding? This is Detroit. Drink?
-What's that?
-Sure, I have. But not one with ice in it, that's all.
-Whoa... she is a killer.
-Oh, Dicky, I c-c-can't...
-You're not gonna chicken out on me now, are you? We've got your KISS song playing and everything.
-I-I c-can't...
-No problem.
-Sorry.
-Jeremiah?
-Beth? I can't believe it.
-I didn't mean for that to be so... intense. Forgive me.
-I've loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you, Jeremiah. I've just always been too scared to show it.
-Beth, I can't believe you just said that because that's exactly how I've always felt about you... Call me Jam. It's my band name.
-We've got to take this slow...
-Right, slow...
-So. Is it true that Gene Simmons had a cow's tongue grafted onto his real one? Y'know, to make it so long?
-I dunno. I think he had the piece of skin under his tongue removed so he could stick it out farther. I'm not too up on Gene trivia.
-Your man is the drummer, Peter Criss, right?
-Peter Criss is my inspiration, man. If I paid a hundred bucks for a KISS show and all I saw was his solo, I'd consider it... money... Hey, how'd you know that?
-Ann Arbor?
-Ann Arbor isn't... that far from Cleveland, right?
-Nah. Once I get my own wheels, I could come up all the time.
-I feel like such an idiot. Why didn't I just say something a year and a half ago? Man, think of how much time we wasted.
-Let's not think about the past. Let's just think about from today on. I'll never forget you, Jam.
-Coming dad. I'll call you. Soon as we get a phone. Bye.
-Oh, great. I just hitched a ride with a bunch of potheads... I'm hooking up with some people at this funky place in downtown Detroit called Disco Inferno. Mind droppin' me there?
-What's it worth to you?
-So, are you, like, gonna polish our nobs, or what?
-Tease? What the hell did I do to tease you mongoloids?
-You got in the car, didn't you?
-Oh, God, how calculating of me to lead you all on like that after you offered me a ride in the middle of nowhere.
-What are you, high?
-Yeah.
-Wonder if you could smoke shit out of this?
-This is the best thing that ever happened to me at school! Not only are we on again for KISS in Detroit, but we're actually sitting right at the fifty yard line! I dare you dudes to find a curlier scenario.
-Namely?
-Well, the least we, his only buds in the world, can do is take him along with us tonight and give him one last curl before he starts serving his sentence.
-Just for the record, I understood the last part of what you said, but for a while there you guys were making no fucking sense whatsoever.
-I'm starvin' and it's way past lunchtime.
-Let's stop in Sandusky, Hawk.
-What's in Sandusky?
-You call that John Travolta/Denny Terio shit dancing? I wouldn't dance like that in private if you paid me.
-What was that D.J.'s name again?
-I have one question. How could a kid who wails on the drums like it's the only thing keeping him alive even think of such a femmy thing to say?
-So maybe we got enough for one ticket. Fuck!
-Waitaminit, dudes! I got it! We find four really small kids, beat the shit outta them and steal their tickets. What do you think?
-...at twenty-thirty hours.
-One more time in English.
-Any luck?
-Will somebody please tell those chicks disco is dead.
-Shit, that dork is Jam.
-Yeah, she gives you shit and you take it.
-Second floor girls' john! Two minutes! He'll never look there!
-That's Sherry VanHafton.
-Whoa... she just farted.
-I have never heard a girl squeeze cheese in my entire life.
-Too bad we're stuck in electronics or...
-But... but, St. Bernard's is way the hell over in the next county!
-So? Your mom's car has a CB, radar detector and cruise control, check?
-We are not stealing my mom's car.
-Damn straight we are.
-Hawk, all I need is one ding on the Volvo and presto! There are my balls hanging from the rearview mirror after she gets back from Cincinnati.
-And when is she due back from that groinecologist's convention anyway?
-Sunday, but...
-There's only so much trouble an individual can get into till it just doesn't matter anymore, Lex. You familiar with a condition known as Absolute Zero?
-The hypothetical temperature characterized by the absence of heat and even the slightest amount of molecular activity? Yeah, I'm vaguely familiar
-Very funny, Hawk. Okay, I'm in on this hare-brained scheme, but if anything happens to my mom's car, I'm blaming you. I'll say you drugged me or something.
-Ok, dudes, follow my lead.
-Now, how are we gonna do this?
-We got you a change of duds when we picked up the car.
-Jeezis, Hawk, can you at least keep it within twenty miles of the speed limit?
-What the fuck!
-Uh... dudes?
-Now there's a woman who totally abuses the privilege of motherhood.
-Here's a suggestion. Let's stop worrying about the concert for the time being and get the cops in on this Volvo situation.
-Now listen up. Here's the game plan.
-...I mean, my mom's got insurance. What's the worst thing she could do? Ground me for the entire year? I can handle that...
-Cool, bro, now listen up...
-...Holy shit! I am in absolute trouble! I never should have let you drive, man! Absolute fuckin' trouble!
-I think we should try sneaking in.
-Four dudes sneaking in? We'd get busted fer sure. Bad plan.
-Okay, one of us sneaks in, gets four ticket stubs off some kids in the audience, comes back out, and we all "re-enter" the concerto. Voila!
-I found the Volvo.
-No... You don't think...?
-Do you realize the sheer, goddamn, unadulterated, undiluted, no holds barred, one hundred percent pure as Ivory Snow, absolutely friggin' STUPIDITY of what you just did?
-Could be.
-Are you gettin' wise with me?
-Well, let's recap, shall we? You slapped all of us, yelled at me, used my head for a rag, threw me on the ground and tossed our LOVE GUN 8- track under the wheels of a passing semi. So, if the lesson was that you're a dick with ears and a really bad haircut, then, yes... I'd say we learned it.
-Excuse me, I'm a little deef-a- hearin'. Can you repeat yourself?
-Okay. Ahem! You. Are. A. Dick. With. Ears. And. A. Really. Bad. Haircut.
-How would you like a nice Hawaiian Punch?
-Dude, this is all I got.
-Sorry, man, no can do. But I'll be here for a while if you scare up the extra gravy.
-Where the hell am I gonna scare up that kinda gravy in one hour?
-You look a little scrawny, but it's worth a shot.
-I can't just walk in and take my clothes off. It's embarrasskin.
-Dude, if it were dancing the way Fred Astaire did it, I'd give it my best shot. I'd learn the steps and practice in my spare time. But this... tribal, ritualistic bullshit, it's way-too-spontaneous for me.
-Yeah, you're probably too young anyhow.
-Hey, I invented fake I.D.s, alright. That's not the problem... They're playing disco music in there, man.
-Jam, listen up.
-Hawk?
-Are you on the crapper with one of those antenna phones? Sounds like you're taking a dump the size of Butte, Montana.
-It's my Bullworker.
-Anyway, listen up. They're gone!
-What's gone?
-The KISS tickets, you nimrod! They're just fuckin' gone! Please tell me you have'm!
-Gone!? Why would I have the KISS tick...?
-Cool.
-I'm really sorry about that, man.
-Don't be a fembot. So, are you like grounded because of last night, or what?
-They're still at my house in Trip's jacket.
-They're what?
-Don't worry about it. They're perfectly safe. We can pick them up after school. My mom won't be home. It's no problem.
-All right. After school we double- time it to your house for the tix before heading to the train station for the 2:45 to Detroit Rock City.
-If he offers you a slice, you're not the least bit hungry, check?
-Don't you think we should at least pull over and offer to clean it off?
-Oh no, Jam. I'm not falling for that twice.
-It doesn't mean anything. Don't pay attention to him.
-Hey, Look at the front entrance! A car's pulling out. The parking space from heaven. God is surely smiling down upon us tonight, dudes.
-Oh, I'm sorry, Trip. What you made was a big, brainless, pile of horse shit. No offense.
-Guys, GUYS! Come on, if this is anyone's fault, it's mine. I was the one who grabbed Trip's jacket by mistake. It's my fault and I apologize.
-It was stolen!
-I'm sorry, guys. I thought it was a nice thing to do.
-I got...
-Wait! I know how we can get in!
-Jam, shut-up! You're not allowed to speak, remember? Go use whatever femmy idea you have to get yourself a ticket or four. I don't wanna hear it.
-But... my plan involves all four of us acting together.
-Well... I still got my idea if anybody will let me speak.
-Go ahead, Jam.
-Oh, hi, mom.
-Jeremiah, what are you doing?
-Ahh, sunshine.
-You're going to be late if you don't hurry up and change soon.
-Change? What's wrong with what I got on?
-It's dirty laundry for one thing and for another, you still haven't worn the clothes I bought you. You're skating on thin ice already, young man, so I wouldn't push my luck. Now get out of those rags.
-But, mom!
-They're not idiots.
-Now don't forget you're on the honor system tonight. I'll be home a little after one and if you've been partying or playing that satanic KISS music... well, need I remind you of the consequences?
-Grounded for the rest of the year?
-I made an appointment with Father Phillip McNulty at St. Bernard's. We're to see him directly where he will register you on the spot.
-You mean, you're sending me to... b- b-boarding school?
-Someday you'll have a son just like you, Jeremiah. A boy who lies through his teeth, buys demonic records, and smokes the dope just like you.
-If I'm anything like you, I'll deserve him.
-What?!
-I said, I'm sorry!
-Mom, what're we...?
-Jeremiah... what's gotten into you?
-Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession in... well... a really long time.
-Prepare to receive the Act of Penance. How many sins have you committed since your last confession?
-So, you see if it wasn't for me, me and my friends would be at that KISS concert right now... together.
-That's it?
-Yeah.
-Well, this is a unique confession to say the least, son. And not exactly the most interesting one I've ever heard either. You sure you don't want to talk about... oh, carnal knowledge with a neighborhood girl or impure thoughts about the new student teacher maybe... or how about finding a box of magazines under your dad's bed?
-No.
-Okay, you better have something really sinful for me this time, son. My patience is worn to threads and your mom will be here any minute.
-Alright, Father, here it is. About two weeks ago I went to my cousin's wedding and one of the bridesmaids asked me if I wanted to take a bath.
-I was insulted, so I asked her if I was wreaking some wicked b.o., right? Then she said no, she wanted to take a bath with me.
-Oh, this is terrible... Please go on.
-Well? Continue! Continue!
-Okay... when she peeled off that gown, you'll never guess what she was wearing underneath.
-No. Much bet... I mean, much more sinful than that.
-A bustier?
-Tell you what. You keep guessing and I'll say something when you get it.
-Jam has yet to do an overnight with us.
-Poor, Jam, man. Imagine having to stash your KISS records inside Carly Simon album covers. No question, Mrs. Bruce is a psycho-bitch from hell.
-Trip, a female gynecologist does not a lesbian make. And even if it did, at least my mom didn't give birth to me while she was on LSD.
-Trip, you fuckin' asshole.
-Yeah, right. She wishes. Look at that big ass.
-That's some sick shit right there. Did she comb your ass hair for you too?
-I knew it! I knew this was gonna happen! I had a bad feeling since last night. Remember? We are so totally fucked!
-Hey, take it easy, man. This is the girls' crapper, remember?
-Wake up, Lex! We just watched Jam's mom torch our fuckin' KISS tickets! Not REO Speedwagon! Not Journey! Not the Bay City Rollers! KISS! If you can think of a better reason to trash a bathroom, I'd sure like to hear it!
-Oh, everything's hunky-dory now that the shit hit the fan just like you said it would, you snug sonofabitch! You fuckin' jinxed us!
-I did it! I did it! We won!
-The Chinese have a proverb: "That which appears too good to be true, usually is." There's gotta be a catch.
-Simplicity, Hawk.
-About fuckin' time if you ask me. I'm just going through the motions till I drop out anyway.
-Well, here we are back at fucking school again.
-Eyowch! This is one hot pizza!
-Man, that weed knocked Christine on her ass. She's sleeping like a baby stella.
-Really, Trip, can we bore holes in your head and use it as a bong so it actually does us some good for a change?
-It's gone.
-But we took the keys?
-Damn, she musta hot wired it. We picked up a professional car thief in the shape of Olivia Newton-John!
-Twenty-five more'n I got.
-Please sir, don't beat me up. I do have a KISS ticket, but not on me.
-A likely story. Hand it over, kid.
-Hey, kid, that's okay. I don't wanna see KISS that ba...
-Don't try to run, maggot. Chongo's an all-state track star in every event.
-What do you want?
-A tag on your toe. Nobody threatens me and lives.
-Look, you can have my wallet...
-Please, sir, don't kick my ass! I'll do anything to get out of a beating!
-Two hundred bucks?
-You heard me, nad breath. My time's precious and I think that's a reasonable price to pay for your sorry life.
-Oh, yeah! You and what army?
-Gimme your gun, boy!
-No, you gimme your gun, boy!
-Don't tempt me, I'll shoot!
-Not if I shoot first!
-I don't even think you have a gun!
-Simple Simon on the Rock, go caller.
-Hello? Is this me? I'm Trip. Am I on the air?
-I should hang up on you right now, but you're the right caller so answer quick or get your battleship sunk. What are the names of the four members of KISS?
-Is that your final answer?
-Yeah.
-I did?
-Yeah, you did!
-Yeeeehaaawww!! This is totally fuckin' curly, man! Thank you God!
-Good morning, mongrels!
-Good morning...
-That's all the gusta you can musta? I said, "Good morning!"
-Good MORNING!
-Now that's better... but I still sense some students out there... who are AFRAID... just to say GOOD MORNING!
-GOOD MORNING!
-Are you AFRAID?
-GOOD MORNING!
-Hi... what's going on here?
-Horrible accident. My neighbour... he got killed.
-What happened?
-What was his name?
-I feel bad for his family.
-Yeah.
-Dr. Monnitoff?
-Donnie.
-So... according to Hawking... wormholes might be able to provide a short cut for jumping between two distant regions of space-time.
-So... in order to travel back in time, you'd have to have a big spaceship or something that can travel faster than the speed of light --
-Theoretically.
--- and be able to find one of these wormholes.
-A wormhole with an Einstein-Rosen bridge, which is, theoretically... a wormhole in space controlled by man.
-So... that's it?
-Like a DeLorean.
-What effect do you think this would have on an infant?
-Well... the thing is, nobody remembers their infancy. And anyone who says they do is lying. We think that this would help develop memory earlier in life.
-Each vessel travels along a vector path through space-time... along its centre of gravity.
-Like a spear.
-Beg pardon?
-Like a spear that comes out of your stomach?
-Uhh... sure. And in order for the vessel to travel through time it must find the portal, in this case the wormhole, or some unforeseen portal that lies undiscovered.
-Could these wormholes appear in nature?
-That... is highly unlikely. You're talking about an act of God.
-If God controls time... then all time is pre-decided. Then every living thing travels along a set path.
-I'm not following you.
-If you could see your path or channel growing out of your stomach, you could see into the future. And that's a form of time travel, right?
-You are contradicting yourself, Donnie. If we could see our destines manifest themselves visually... then we would be given the choice to betray our chosen destinies. The very fact that this choice exists... would mean that all pre-formed destiny would end.
-Not if you chose to stay within God's channel...
-When can I squeeze one out?
-Why do I have to sleep with Donnie? He stinks.
-When you fall asleep tonight, I'm gonna fart in your face.
-What happens if you tell Mom and Dad about this, Samantha?
-"The Last Unicorn!" By Samantha Darko.
-Did you tell them that I flooded the school?
-I didn't say shit.
-That's not what I heard. Now they think I did it.
-Well, if you're innocent, then you have nothing to worry about.
-Dea ex machina...
-What did you say?
-How can you do that?
-Why did you make me flood the school?
-We just want to guide you in the right direction.
-Who is... we?
-You'll know soon enough.
-Where did you come from?
-I want to show you something.
-You have to do something for me first.
-You have a request?
-Yeah. Tell me why you're wearing that stupid bunny suit.
-Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
-What happened to your eye?
-I am so sorry.
-Why do they call you Frank?
-It is the name of my father... and his father before me.
-How much longer is this gonna last?
-DARKO CHEATS DEATH! Man... you're famous! I called you, like, a jillion times last night!
-We went to a hotel.
-My dad said he found you on the golf course. Are you sleepwalking again?
-How old is Grandma Death?
-What'd you do, Donnie? What'd you do!
-Hey...
-Hey...
-Wanna walk me home?
-Don't look so freaked.
-I'm not. But you should check your backpack 'cause those guys like to steal shit.
-So... you just moved here?
-Yeah. My parents got divorced. My mom has a restraining order against my stepdad. He has... emotional problems.
-Oh, I... have those too. What kind of problems does your dad have?
-Wow. Did he go to jail?
-He fled. They still can't find him. My mom and I had to change our names and stuff. I thought Gretchen sounded kind of cool.
-I'm sorry. I was in jail once. I accidentally burned down this house. It was abandoned. I got held back in school again. Can't drive until I'm eighteen. I think when I grow up I want to be a painter. Or maybe a writer or maybe both. Then I'll write a book and draw the illustrations like a comic book. You know, change things.
-Donnie Darko is a cool name. Sounds like a superhero.
-I should go. For physics. Monnitoff says I have to write an essay on the greatest invention ever to benefit mankind.
-I mean, the whole sanitation thing. Joseph Lister... 1895. Before antiseptics there was no sanitation, especially in medicine.
-You mean soap?
-Don't knock soap. Without it, disease would spread rapidly. If we ran out... you and I would never live to see the year 2000.
-Wonder where we'll be then.
-The best thing about soap is that it's the only thing on earth that can never get dirty. No matter what crap you throw on it... it always rubs off. And there it is again... perfect.
-It's a good thing the school was flooded today.
-Why is that?
-You're weird.
-I'm sorry.
-That was a compliment.
-Will you go with me?
-Where are we going?
-No... I mean, will you GO with me? That's like... what they call it here. Going together.
-Where are you going?
-So when you sleepwalk, can you remember afterward? Like, do you dream?
-No. I just wake up and I look around, try to figure out where I am... how I got there.
-It's like this big force... that's in your brain. But sometimes it grows bigger... and it spread down into your arms and legs... and it just sends you someplace.
-So when you sleepwalk, you go somewhere familiar?
-No. Every time I wake up somewhere different. Sometimes my bike is laying there next to me. Like once when I woke up on the edge of this cliff up on Carpathian Ridge.
-Donnie?
-Yeah?
-Do you ever feel as though there's always someone watching you?
-Why?
-What happened to your neck?
-Babies cry because they're afraid of the dark. And because they have no memories... for all they know... every night could be the last forever. Like, perpetual darkness.
-Why not just buy your baby a night light?
-That's not good enough. You've got to go back in time and take all those hours of darkness and pain and replace them... with whatever you wanted.
-With, like, images?
-You know... we've been going together for a week and a half...
-And what?
-Well...
-That's alright... I understand.
-No... Donnie, wait. I've never...
-I always wanted it to be at a time when... when it reminds you how beautiful the world can be.
-We're moving through time.
-They suspended me for two days.
-Are you okay?
-I've been seeing stuff... a lot of really messed-up stuff. Do you know who Grandma Death is?
-Who?
-Oh, yeah. "The Philosophy of Time Travel". What is this?
-I know she's here. She never leaves the house.
-So, we call them... IMGs.
-Infant Memory Generators.
-Yeah. So the idea is that... you buy these glasses for your infant, and they wear them at night when they sleep.
-What? How long was I asleep?
-You want to skip fourth period and go to the Ridge?
-What's wrong with you?
-Will you please talk to me?
-Not now, Donnie. It isn't a good time.
-Hey.
-Hey. You OK?
-My mom is gone.
-Where is she?
-I don't know. She didn't leave a note. The house is all messed up.
-Did you call the cops?
-I'm so scared... I just keep thinking that something awful has happened. It's my fucking stepdad. I know it.
-What?
-Come with me.
-Time is running out. We have to go see Grandma Death. We have to talk to her.
-Why? Is this about the book?
-No. Frank.
-Is that a cellar door?
-I'm sorry, Ms. Farmer, I just don't get this.
-Just place an X in the appropriate place on the Lifeline.
-I just don't get this. Everything can't be lumped into two categories. That's too simple.
-The Lifeline is divided that way.
-Well, life isn't that simple. So what if Ling Ling kept the cash and returned the wallet? That has nothing to do with either fear or love.
-Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.
-People aren't that simple.
-Will you still be working at Yarn Barn? 'Cause that's a great place to raise children.
-You're such a fuck-ass.
-Oh, please tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?
-I wish I knew where you went at night. Did you toilet paper the Johnson's house?
-I stopped rolling houses in the sixth grade, Mom. Get out of my room.
-You know... it would be nice to look at you some time... and see my son. I don't recognise this person today.
-Grandma Death.
-He can't, Samantha. He's been suspended from after-school activities. Donnie... are you still with us? How was your therapy session tonight?
-I have to take the girls to Los Angeles tomorrow.
-Do you get to meet Ed?
-If I'm lucky. So... I won't be back until the first. Your dad will be back on Sunday, so I've put Elizabeth in charge until then. She has the car... so she can drive you to your therapy tomorrow.
-How does it feel to have a wacko for a son?
-So how was school today?
-It was great. We had peanut-butter sandwiches and apples and honey at snacktime. And then during show-and- tell, my stuffed walrus was a big hit.
-Good Lord. So the construction guys say it'll take about a week to fix the roof. Damn airline better not fuck us on the shingle match.
-Do they know yet?
-Know what?
-Where it came from?
-No... apparently they can't tell us what happened yet. Something about a matching serial number that got burned. But I had to sign a form saying I wouldn't talk to anyone about it.
-So we're not supposed to tell anybody what nobody knows?
-Oh, shit!
-Grandma Death.
-You're right. Roberta Sparrow was famous for her gem collections. Kids used to try and steal stuff from her all the time. Over the years... as she got older, she became more and more of a recluse... now she just likes to stay up there all by herself.
-Who's been giving you weird looks?
-You're my only son...
-I know, Dad.
-Donnie Darko, perhaps, given your recent brush with mass destruction, you can give us your opinion?
-Who is Frank?
-And when the other rabbits hear of Fiver's vision, do they believe him? It could be the death of an entire way of life, the end of an era.
-Why should we care?
-Because the rabbits are us, Donnie.
-Why should I mourn for a rabbit like it was a human?
-Is the death of one species less tragic than another?
-Ms. Pomeroy... what's going on?
-Donnie... it's Friday. Shouldn't you be off with your friends, scaring old people?
-Where are you going?
-I don't know. That's a good question... but suffice to say that I am no longer your English teacher. They fired me.
-That's bullshit. You're a good teacher.
-Thank you, Donnie. And you're a good student. Lazy... but a good student. Unlike most of the others, you question Mom and Dad's rules.
-What do I tell the rest of the class when they ask about you?
-What's "Cellar Door"?
-Cellar door.
-So... will Donnie find his Cellar Door?
-I think I already have. But now she won't even talk to me.
-Your mother said that you've been skipping cycles of your medication.
-I've been taking it. I just like to make her feel guilty for all of this. You know, abuse her. Psychologically.
-So, I met a new friend.
-Would you like to talk about this friend?
-His name is Frank.
-Frank.
-I think he saved my life.
-How so?
-Don't you watch the news?
-I don't own a television.
-Frank... instructed you... to get out of bed... just before this happened.
-He said to follow him.
-Follow him where?
-Do you believe that the world is coming to an end?
-And when I clap my hands twice, you will wake up. Do you understand?
-Yes.
-So, tell me about your day, Donald.
-I met a girl.
-What is her name?
-Gretchen. We're going together now.
-Do you think a lot about girls?
-Yes.
-How are things going at school?
-I think about girls a lot.
-I asked you about school.
-I think about... fucking a lot during school.
-What else do you think about during school?
-I think... about... "Who's the Boss?"
-Who is the boss?
-I just turn the volume down and think about fucking Alyssa Milano.
-What about your family, Donnie?
-No, I don't think about fucking my family. That's sick!
-How many times have you seen Frank?
-Four times... so far.
-Can anyone else see him?
-I don't think so. It's like a TV station. And they're tuned into mine and no one else's.
-Who is they? Is Frank part of some larger group?
-I don't know. Gretchen has a theory. That Frank is a sign. I told her I thought it was ridiculous.
-A sign from whom?
-I think that Frank wants me to go to this woman. She wrote a book about time travel. Frank asked me if I believed in time travel. That can't just be a random coincidence. My dad almost hit her with the car the other day, and she said the creepiest thing. She said that every living creature on this earth dies alone.
-How does that make you feel?
-It reminded me of my dog Callie.
-Is Callie still around?
-No. She died when I was eight. We couldn't find her for days. She went and crawled underneath our back porch...
-I'd like to believe that I'm not... but I've just never seen any proof. So I just choose not to bother with it. It's, like, I could spend my whole life thinking about it... debating it in my head. Weighing the pros and cons. And in the end, I still wouldn't have any proof. So... I don't even debate it any more. Because it's
-And they grow out of our stomachs?
-It was just like she described them in her book. Like they were alive. The way that they looked... moved... smelled. They were like workers... assigned to each one of us. I followed my spear... and I found something...
-Nothing.
-Have you told Gretchen about the spears?
-Yeah, but if I told her about the other stuff about Frank...
-Are you embarrassed by these things that you see?
-Whoa. That's OK, Dr. Thurman, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I have sexual fantasies all the time too.
-I know.
-I mean... Gretchen... She won't even let me kiss her. She says because it's our first kiss... she's, like, waiting for this big... moment or something. I just don't get it. I just want to get it over with so we can move on to the good stuff.
-The good stuff.
-Yeah... you know... Fucking.
-And when I clap my hands together twice, you will wake up. Do you understand?
-Yes.
-So, your parents... why did you disappoint them?
-I... I was playing with fire.
-People get hurt.
-But it was an accident. The house was under construction.
-People get hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone.
-But you were punished.
-Yes. I went to jail.
-Do you wish that you were punished by your parents instead?
-They... didn't buy me what I wanted for Christmas that year.
-What did you want for Christmas that year?
-Hungry Hungry Hippos.
-How did you feel... being denied those Hungry Hungry Hippos?
-Regret.
-What else makes you feel regret?
-That I did it again.
-You've done it again?
-Yes. I flooded my school... and I burned down that pervert's house. I think I only have a few days left... before they catch me.
-I have to obey him... because he saved my life. He controls me and I have to obey him or I'll be left all alone... and I'll never figure out what all of this means...
-If God exists?
-I think now that he might...
-Why?
-Because I'm so horny.
-God exists because you're horny.
-I think so. I think that's one of the clues. It's a clue that tells us... to keep going.
-Where are we going, Donald?
-I have the power to build a time machine.
-How is that possible?
-Grandma Death will teach me how. Soon.
-Then how is time travel possible?
-It would have to be God's portal. They will lead me to it. Then I will go back in time... and I won't feel regret anymore.
-When will this happen?
-What is going to happen?
-Frank is going to kill.
-I can see him right now!
-Where is he, Donald?
-He's right there... He can read my mind and he'll show me the way out of this. The sky is going to open up... and then He will reveal himself to me.
-If the sky were to suddenly open up... there would be no law... there would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories... the choices you've made and the people you've touched. The life that has been carved out from your subconscious is the only evidence by which you will be judged... by which you must judge yourself. Because when this
-It's too late. I've already ruined my life.
-Your medication. They're placebos. Just pills made out of water.
-Thank you.
-Donald, an atheist is someone who denies altogether the existence of a God. You are an agnostic. An agnostic is someone who believes that there can be no proof of the existence of God... but does not deny the possibility that God exists.
-Goodbye, Dr. Thurman.
-Whoa, Elizabeth. A little hostile, there. Maybe you should be the one in therapy. Then Mom and Dad can pay someone two hundred dollars an hour to listen to all of your thoughts... so we won't have to.
-It's called "The Philosophy of Time Travel".
-What does time travel have to do with philosophy?
-So I hear you have a girlfriend.
-Yeah.
-What's her name?
-You're not gonna tell Mom, are you?
-Why would I tell Mom?
-Because you tell Mom everything.
-No I don't. She worries about you.
-Well, don't worry... I'm taking my medication.
-It's not that. I mean mouthing off to your teachers. I'll admit... when Dad told me what you said to Ms. Farmer, I laughed my ass off.
-I was just being honest.
-Yeah... well, that's not the way the world works. If you keep being too honest, the world will eventually find a way to destroy you.
-Her name is Gretchen.
-I got in. I'm going to Harvard.
-Mom and Dad won't be back until Sunday night. It's Halloween Carnival. We should throw a party. We could totally get away with it.
-Okay, but it has to be a small one.
-How much are they paying you to be here?
-Excuse me? What's your name, son?
-Gerald.
-Well, Gerald, I think you're afraid.
-I think you are afraid to ask me for advice. I think that you are a very troubled... confused young man. I think you're searching for answers in all the wrong places.
-Thank you for seeing us... We... just felt that it was time to discuss...
-What I think is going on with your son.
-Has your son ever told you about Frank?
-Come again?
-Frank... the giant bunny rabbit?
-Frank?
-Donnie is experiencing what is commonly called a daylight hallucination.
-You're telling me my son has an imaginary friend?
-I... What can we do?
-If that's what you think is necessary.
-Our son just called me a bitch.
-So let me get this straight. No airline will claim ownership of the engine. So we have to wait for the FAA to decide who fixes my roof. Fuck that. We're taking the money out of savings.
-What?
-Frankie Feedler. You remember him from high school?
-He was a year ahead of us?
-I haven't been accepted yet, mother.
-Excuse me?
-Did you just call me a fuck-ass?
-That's enough.
-No. I took a year off to be with you. Of course I care. Don't get angry. What?
-How did you know --
-I didn't realise it was such a big deal.
-It is a big deal.
-Here are the keys to the Taurus. There's plenty of groceries in the fridge. And I left money on the kitchen table. And don't forget...
-I got twelve classrooms full of water. All coming from a busted water main.
-What else?
-Christ. Is that an axe?
-Yep.
-How did this happen?
-Excuse me... but what is the real issue here? The PTA doesn't ban books from school.
-Do you even know who Graham Greene is?
-Kitty, I don't know what to say. They've suspended him for two days. Ever since this jet fiasco, I honestly don't know what has gotten into him.
-Rose.
-Kitty...
-Rose, we have a crisis. I am sure that you are aware of the horrible allegations against Jim Cunningham.
-Yes, I saw the news. Something about a kiddie-porn dungeon.
-Please! Don't say those words. Well... as you can see... many of us are devastated by this news. This is obviously some kind of conspiracy meant to destroy an innocent man. And I have taken it upon myself to spearhead the Jim Cunningham defence campaign. But unfortunately my civic duties have created a conflict of interest... which involves you.
-Beg pardon?
-Rose... I have to appear at his arraignment tomorrow morning. And as you know, the girls also leave for Los Angeles tomorrow morning. Now, as their coach... I was the obvious choice to chaperone them on the trip.
-But now you can't go.
-Yes. And believe me, of all the other mothers I would never dream of asking you, given the predicament with your son. But none of the other mothers are able to go.
-Oh, Kitty, I don't know. This is so last-minute... Eddie is in New York...
-Kitty, I would appreciate... if you could wait...
-Mr. Cole... not only am I a TEACHER... but I am also a PARENT of a Middlesex child. Therefore, I am the ONLY person here who transcends the parent-teacher bridge.
-Kitty...
-And how do they do this? They FLOOD the house... by breaking through the water main!
-This meeting of the PTA was called to inform the parents of our ongoing investigation...
-Chut up!
-Maybe Martha Moo finally went nuts and hijacked the bus.
-You know, there's, like, this rule. We get to go home at 7:55.
-There's no rule!
-All right! 7:55. Everybody goes home.
-What is this shit?
-Wicked.
-No more fuckin' for her.
-Smurfette doesn't fuck.
-Bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other smurfs. That's why Papa Smurf made her, 'cause the other smurfs were getting too horny.
-We got eggs, water balloons, and a dozen rolls of toilet paper.
-Is Mom okay?
-She's alive, sweetie.
-Where is she?!
-Mommmm! I'll be right behind you in the hearse!
-You're what?!
-I -- I'm quittin' the pageant.
-I heard you, I was just tryin' to scare you into changin' your mind. Oh for Chrissakes, Amber, the woman clung to your tap shoes while flyin' through the air like a Goddamn lawn dart!
-So, what do I say?
-Simple. Just say, "Mom, I know you sacrificed everything -- relationships, dreams -- your tummy, ass and thighs -- all to bring me into this world. All so I could have tap lessons and be in the pageant -- the same one you were in. But, y'know what? I'm quittin'." There. Easy as pie.
-Oh my God. I'm so dead...
-Hell-no, she ain't quittin'.
-"Once a carnie, always a carnie."
-That was your mom. She wanted you to have this.
-Really, Loretta?
-You-betcha.
-My mom wanted me to have this?
-Oh, shut up. I thought it might help you get some sleep.
-Loretta, never have kids.
-Oh, Mom's okay. They're just givin' her a ride back. She almost blew outta the back of Loretta's pick-up on the way over.
-Thank God for bunge cords.
-What is wrong with you?
-I don't know. I just didn't wanna win like this.
-You stop right there. You are a good person. Good things happen to good people.
-Really?
-No. It's pure bullshit, sweetie. You're lucky as hell, so you might as well enjoy it. Let's get you a root beer float.
-Okay.
-I never liked her, but she didn't deserve to die in the belly of a swan like that. The whole thing's just kinda sad and lame at the same time.
-This came for you, sweetie.
-It's all the stuff I get to do. Oh my God, oh my God... Okay, okay... We get a "personal consultation" with a make-up artist -- Eeeh! Okay, um, there'll be a choreographer to the stars and, oh no -- No way. Oh... My... God!
-What? For chrissakes, spit it out.
-I'll be stayin' overnight at... The Airport Howard Johnsons!
-Right by the airport -- Oh, Amber...
-All right, say "Airport Ho-Jo."
-Airport Ho-Jo!
-Loretta, don't do that.
-I'm sorry. They're just starin'.
-I gotta work with these women.
-I just, I just can't believe it. I'm Minnesota's American Teen Princess!
-Our baby's going to Nationals! Lincoln, Alabama -- look out!
-Oh, Amber...
-I -- I -- I -- I -- I --, j-uh-j-uh- just wanted to compe-e-e-e-ete.
-Amber? Here.
-"Here," wh-wh-what?
-Shut up, yous guys. Look, Amber, I'm not gonna win. And let's be honest, a family only needs one "Liza" and you know Peter's got much better legs than me.
-Your parents'd kill you.
-Oh c'mon, I love 'em, but you know they only had me 'cause Peter needed a kidney.
-Lis, I want to, I really do, but... Oh, I can't.
-Then do it for Peter. Mrs. Leeman used to call him a "skinny little fag" when he'd bag her groceries. He'd pop his Nancy-belt if his old jacket somehow, I don't know, got her back.
-Yah?
-I'm lucky I have an after-school job where I can practice my talent.
-Mrs. Leeman?
-Huh?
-I -- I'm wearin' this costume. I'm, uh, I'm gonna do my talent tonight.
-Oh really -- I don't think so. Uh, Amber, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but rules state that a costume must be okay'd at least a week in advance. And this... This is why we have the rule. My goodness gracious, I couldn't allow a neckline this low on stage. We have kids in the audience.
-Sorry. I just thought she might not wanna meet her Maker lookin' like a cheap whore.
-Well, your "cheap whore" is this family's "lovin' mother." The Clemens said to make him look like he just came from snowmobilin'. Pink cheeks, and...
-Amber...
-I'm gonna need more caps.
-You hafta go home. There's some kinda emergency at the trailer park.
-Relax, that's my ma's code for, "Bring home milk and a carton-a Luckys."
-...Yah -- 1963. Her beauty worked against her when she started as a reporter in Louisville, her hometown. Those were different times.
-Hey, Amber, y'get my smokes?
-Oh shit!
-They're from L.A. They wanted to see my room and film me for their movie.
-Oh, Mom, it's so ugly.
-Go on! Get out!
-Mom!
-I ain't lettin' go ktil you tell me what's up. I'm reaching' a point where I'd kill someone for the nicotine on their fingernails.
-Okay. Yesterday I... I got this picture. So I kinda, y'know, I'm thinkin' no. I'm gonna, I -- I -- I'm gonna quit the pageant.
-Ow!
-Nice mouth you got there, Mom, but I -- I'm not goin' through this again.
-You're not goin' through this again? You? You're not the one who knows how Jiffy Pop feels.
-Oh, c'mon... First the picture of Tammy, then Brett Clemens, now this? It's scary.
-Let me tell you "scary," Amber. Look at me. Do you wanna look like you been rode hard and put away wet at my age? I'm a "lifer" here. Best I can hope for is to end up in a descent "raisin ranch" where they'll change me twice a day.
-That's it, I'm goin'...
-God I hope that's you and not your concussion talkin'.
-It's me... I just don't want this to be the thing you'd do over. This pageant's your ticket outta here. I know you can win, Amber.
-C'mere. I love you so much.
-Bye mom.
-We was robbed.
-Okay, okay! Listen-up. Coupla notes from last night's dress rehearsal. Number one, Gladys says a coupla yous are gettin' sexy with your hips durin' the "Physical Fitness" routine...
-Uh, Amber? We're not puttin' on our Talent costumes. You need to put on your "Physical Fitness" outfit. And let's shake a leg, ladies.
-I hate her!
-Mrs. Clark, why are you doing this to me? Why're you pretendin' you don't know what's goin' on?
-Amber, I'm sorry. I really am. But you know the rules. All talent costumes hafta be okay'd by Gladys before the pageant.
-But, doesn't someone taking your costume so you can't compete, overrule that rule?
-Sorry. I -- I don't make the rules.
-This, this... This is bullshit!
-Amber Atkins! That is not American Teen Princess language!
-What're you doin' here?
-What?
-If you're gettin' at somethin', you better just say it.
-I just did.
-Oh -- oh, you bring me some of that snotty attitude, Becky -- bring it on.
-Well, as my mother says at Sunday dinner, "Come and get it," bitch!
-If you want seconds, then I'll make sure it's hot enough for ya.
-Here, I didn't get any.
-So, anyone talk to Janelle?
-Amber, if I die from these fumes, will you be sure to cover the hickies on my neck?
-Yeah...
-And the bite marks on my ears?
-Yes...
-I know it doesn't matter, but on my inner thighs.
-Hi...
-Here, I'll take it. It's my job.
-Oh man, you got leutefisk in your hair.
-So, uh, I -- I'm not really busy Friday. I just said that -- y'know.
-I know.
-Well, uh, I'm cuttin' out early today to do a little duck huntin'... but, uh, maybe I could call you tonight.
-Yah-sure, fine... fine.
-Okay... well, bye.
-What do you mean, they take out her butt?
-Oh, Jesus H. Christ!
-Are we on "Cops" again?
-You could be quiet.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-It's just the guys that are... you know, makin' the movie about the pageant. I told you about 'em.
-Oh, naw. Hi.
-This here's Loretta.
-Say, yous boys been to the Leeman's?
-Loretta, shut it.
-Y'know, if you have, you got all the pictures of the winner you need.
-Shut it up, Loretta.
-Let's just say who should win, who deserves to win is Amber.
-Why don't you paint a big red target on your ass, Loretta.
-She's the prettiest, y'know. The best damn tapper. The most smartest...
-Well, excuse me, Annette, but I'm braggin' up your kid, here. Amber's gonna be the next Diane Sawyer, y'know...
-They're makin' a movie, here, goddamn it.
-All right, they're makin' a movie.
-You don't know where this is gonna...
-Don't fall for it. She lives two trailers down.
-So? Be real easy.
-Go on home, Loretta. Come on. Go on, the party's over.
-Oh-Jesus-Mary-n-Joseph, she's pregnant! If you are -- come back, sweetie. Mommy wants to talk, then KILL YOU!
-We was robbed.
-Annette, just use your hand.
-Well, it's all happenin' so fast. Goodness-gracious, it hardly seems real, y'know? I mean, I won! I'm the winner! I'm going to State!
-C'mon, Rebecca, you wanted it. Now get up there. Ride it side-saddle if you have to -- like a horse. C'mon, now.
-It smells funny. Like gasoline.
-Oh for chrissakes, everything smells like that in Mexico.
-My dress'll reek.
-I'm a mirror.
-Correction. This spunky monkey on my right is Terry Macey. And we are your Minnesota American Teen Princess State Board.
-We're also the co-founders of the Minnesota Modeling Academy. Applications are at the tiki bar. We'll wave the fifty dollar application fee if you list a friend and put her address.
-That's right.
-Okay?
-People, people -- wait, wait a minute, here. Uh, while we haven't ruled out sabotage from neighboring state pageants -- Iowa, Wisconsin, North Dakota...
-Yeah.
-Dakota.
-Ohio...
-That bitch from...
-What?
-Wisconsin.
-All right, then.
-The bitch.
-Do you think that most people would say that teenage beauty pageants are a good idea?
-So what was the theme of the pageant last year?
-Last year? It was, "Buy American."
-And the year before that?
-"U.S.A. is A-okay."
-Can you remember the theme of your favorite pageant?
-...Oh, yeah-right. I ain't gonna be in no goddamn pageant! Look what happened to that dork-ass farm girl.
-Tammy Curry?
-Yah -- yah. Everyone says this is a big accident? She got iced because she wins everything, and this time someone didn't want her to win.
-This pageant's like a roach motel.
-Girls check in, but they don't check out.
-Yeah. And they say smokin' is bad for your health.
-What a surprise. Gladys Leeman's finally gonna go to State. And she'll probably ride on Becky's ass all the way to Nationals, too.
-...You betcha. S'posed to be colder- n-a witches tit tonight...
-Oh, Lester. He loves his weather, y'know.
-Hey, ya like it? Open it... Yah -- the globe. Pull at the equator there.
-Lester?
-Yah -- she's damn near as good as that little black fella -- with the glass eye.
-Sammy Davis, Jr., honey.
-Hey! Turn that float around. You think a swan's gonna swim ass first up Main Street?
-Hey, Ted, sorry. I didn't know your family was in the garage when I set it on fire!
-Gladys! Stop it!
-So help me, Gladys.
-Becky was my only shot at state!
-That's enough!
-...that filth is better left in the "Sin Cities."
-...Today's "To Do" list includes a trip to the Mall of America. We need outfits for the "Physical Fitness" number --
-Nothin' too showy!
-Gladys -- Gladys! Look out!
-Iris, stop! It's not his fault. The communal wine just proves too temptin' for some of them.
-Oh, there's a parking space over there. Oh, no, that's just a compact. Sorry.
-It's a two-hundred dollar fine!
-I said I'd move if a cripple came. Let's just run in the store and pick out some outfits.
-Oh! What is it?
-Well, you know, I think everyone's doing really well considering the fact that she was so young.
-It's always hard to see the young ones called home, especially on an exploding thresher. It's just so odd and gross.
-You know that sometimes it's hard to understand God's great plan.
-So, remember the three most important parts of a good interview...
-Okay, everybody, listen up!
-Okay, I designed the float, you know. And, what's gonna happen here is that this is going to look like a glistening lake beneath the swan.
-Uh, Gladys?
-What!
-We need more bars!
-This is -- what?
-Enid ate a whole pan!
-Are we on "Cops?" Are we on "Cops?" Are we on "Cops?"
-Ow, Harold -- Mom said not the head.
-Well, Mom's dead, so shut your fly trap.
-I will if you shut your piehole.
-Close up shop. Close up shop, Hank.
-Harold!
-EE-AAAYEEEE-AAAAYOUIAAAEEEEEEEE!
-Let's get this straight right now. We wouldn't have been late at all if it wasn't for you.
-I want to have the big bag of little donuts.
-You get nothing, Hank, okay?
-I want to get the big bag of little donuts.
-Excuse me, Father, Mother, when are we moving back to Tokyo? I can't stand this place anymore. They put butter on everything.
-English! English, you stupid little retard! We America now, Tina!
-I'm sorry, Dad, but with all due respect, my name isn't "Tina," it's Seiko.
-Mom, I just finished the third movement of that concerto I was working on. I put, like, this techno beat on this Japanese folk tune -- wanna hear it?
-No! We not like to hear it! Go to your room and shut up!
-Oh, I almost forgot... I got my acceptance to Tokyo University.
-From what I have been gathering, I think they think I should be king: I think they think I should be king!
-He should be king!
-And wear a crown and everything.
-Of course you're All aware a king must have an heir some one to pass the family name along will some one tell me where I'd ever get an heir if a king can do no wrong
-The king can do no wrong!
-Suppose a pretty dame Into my castle came - And let us say that I was going strong. She might be stuck on me, but what good would it be, if the king can do no wrong.
-The king can do to wrong!
-King Solomon was game he gave each Girl his name to number them would make a list that long I'll bet his thousand wives led miserable lives if the king can do no wrong.
-We really think he should be king and wear a crown and everything.
-Here I am, Father.
-Take a letter.
-Who to?
-My dear President... read it back...
-"My dear President"...
-That doesn't sound right... take out "President"... now read it.
-"My dear"...
-That's not right yet... put back "President" and take out "dear"... How does it read now?
-"My President"...
-There's still something wrong with it... take out "President" ...now what've you got?
-"My"...
-Now we're on the right track... Put back "dear"... How does it read?
-"My dear"...
-You can't say that to the President... Put back "President"... Now let's hear how sounds.
-"My dear President"...
-That's what I wanted in the first place. Tear it up and send it airmail.
-Is that all?
-Dear Sir... enclosed find check for $100. Yours very truly... Send that immediately.
-I'll have to enclose the check first.
-Here I am, Father...
-Send for my car...
-Go out and chase that peanut vendor away from the building -- Get rid of him if you have to use violence - if necessary call out the militia and if he isn't looking get me a bag of peanuts.
-I've tried to chase him but it's no use - he won't go -
-He won't eh? - We'll see about that - send for your father immediately.
-But you're my father -
-In case of fire, how long will it take to empty this place?
-About - thirty-four seconds.
-Father...
-Who to?
-Eureka Ammunition Company -- Gentlemen -- Your shipment of sailor hats arrived this morning by freight -- Gloria, I could go for you in a big way -- However, the rifles you sent were a little rusty -- -- and I don't say that to everybody -- Have not received last month's drawing account. How come? Your neck is like a swan... Yours very
-Eureka Ammunition Company, Gentlemen. Your shipment of sailor hats arrived this morning by freight. Gloria, I could go for you in a big way. However, the rifles you sent were a little rusty and I don't say that to everybody. Have not received last month's drawing account; how come your neck is like a swan. Yours very truly...
-They'll know I mean business then they get that letter... see that that gets out immediately and that goes for you too.
-Yes, sir.
-I wonder what's keeping His Excellency?
-Never mind His Excellency -- you gotta your pocketbook?
-Yes -- why?
-In her dressing room? Why, what could he be doing there?
-What's the matter with you?
-What's the matter with you?
-You haven't been still a moment since you've been here. You act as if you had neurosis --
-Hey you!!
-Have you got a license?
-No, but my dog he's a got millions of them --
-What kind of a dog is he?
-He used to be a bloodhound but he's anemic --
-Well - what is he now?
-He's half poodle and half watch dog -
-Half watch dog?
-Yeh, he's only got one eye.
-I don't know much about dogs but you ought to be on the end of a leash - a ninety-nine year leash - Look - what do you call your dog?
-I don't call him, I whistle.
-What do you whistle?
-Yankee Poodle.
-I've got just the place for a man like you but I'm too busy right now to do any digging. What do you call your dog when you want him?
-I don't want him.
-Well, if you don't want your dog why don't you put him in a pound?
-He only weighs ten ounces --
-That was for you.
-I'm sorry I'm not in. I wanted to have a long talk with you... Now look here, my good man, you've got to stop yelling "peanuts" in front of the House of Representatives.
-Oh no, I can't do it.
-You don't want to be a public nuisance, do you?
-Sure. How much does the job pay? Sure, if there's a chance for advancement.
-You wouldn't consider going over Niagara Falls without a barrel?
-'At's-a no good. I went to Niagara Falls once.
-Did you shoot the rapids?
-No, but I shot some ducks.
-If there was an open season for fellows like you, I'd get myself a hunting license. Anyway, I'm going to make you a sporting proposition. You give up the peanut stand and I'll make you vice-president of the country.
-Oh, no -- nothing doing. I had a brother who was a vice-president once and that's the last we ever heard of him.
-Hello... Yes... No, not yet... All right... Goodbye. That was for you again. He wants you to call him up as soon as you get back.
-I don't know what's keeping me. I should've been here a long time ago. Now how about my proposition?
-What other job you got?
-Let's see -- What've I got in my cabinet besides mice -- I've got it -- how would you like to be Secretary of the Interior?
-That's no good. I like to work on the outside. I must have something easy.
-Then you don't wanna work hard?
-I don't wanna work at all.
-In that case you'll have to take a civil service examination -- if you pass I'll put you in the post-office -- stick out your tongue.
-I don't wanna stick out my tongue.
-Well, if you wanna work in the post- office you'll have to stick out your tongue.
-Look, I'm a very nervous man. I gotta have a job where I come to work at eleven -- go to lunch at twelve -- and quit at one. And twice a year I gotta have a six month vacation.
-I've got just the job for you -- Secretary of War.
-You know, I'd be lost without a telephone. Now - where were we? Oh, yes - I just made you Secretary of War. The first thing you do is buy ammunition -- you buy it from me and I get 10% commission.
-What do I get?
-You get half mine and I get half yours.
-I don't want to buy ammunition -- we no gotta war.
-Then we've gotta start one. Do you know how to start a war?
-My card.
-That's a-no good. You gotta insult somebody from another country. Look -- I come from one country. You come from another country. I say something you don't like. You say something I don't like - and I'm insulted.
-Why wasn't I insulted?
-You was insulted, but you don't know it.
-Then I demand an apology!
-That's a-no good. If I apologize we no got a war. Look -- I send you a scrap of paper. You send me a scrap of paper -- and we have a scrap.
-You've got a brain after all - and how you get along without it is amazing to me -- Now, who can I insult?... Who do we owe money to?... AMBASSADOR TRENTINO! How about him?
-He's-a very easy to insult -- I say something to his niece once, and he slapped my face.
-Why didn't his niece slap your face?
-She did.
-You're lucky I don't slap your face -- you oughtta be ashamed of yourself. Where did you hear that story?
-You told it to me.
-Wait a minute. What kind of an army do you think we oughtta have?
-Send in the next girl.
-By the way, are you sure we need a spy?
-I'm glad I didn't ask you for "Washington Crossing the Delaware".
-He's going to make a good spy... that's not bad for the first day.
-You're right about that guy -- I think we've got something.
-You no gotta no gun.
-Late again, eh? You haven't been on time once since this war started... Get out there and fight...
-I can't do it...
-Why not? You're the Secretary of War, aren't you?
-Yes, but I'm not working for you any more. I'm on the other side.
-Now -- how many men you got in your army?
-Well, we gotta one hundred thousand men.
-That's not fair -- we've only got fifty thousand.
-That's all right. We let you have twenty-five thousand men -- and we both start even.
-That's the spirit -- fifty-fifty.
-No. Seventy-five -- seventy-five.
-Well, we'll let that one go. Now -- how many battalions you got?
-We gotta two battalions and one Frenchman.
-I wish you were still working for me, so I could ask you to resign. How're ya fixed for cavalry?
-I've gotta five thousand men but no horses.
-That's funny, we've got five thousand horses but no men.
-That's all right -- our men can ride your horses.
-Not a bad idea. If our horses get tired they can ride your men for a change. Now, I don't mind letting you have our horses, but you must promise to put them through their maneuvers.
-With a gun like that you can kill some of your own men.
-That's-a pretty good. I'll take a dozen of them.
-Anything else?
-Yes, one gross of bullets, two dozen hand-grenades, three kegs of powder -- and throw in some matches.
-Fine. We'll throw in the matches before we make the delivery. By the way, how're you fixed for spys?
-Fine. We gotta him.
-So! -- He's on your side, too.
-Sure.
-How'm I doing, boss?
-Fine - keep on yelling - Do everything you can to disturb Firefly - Now what about your cousin?
-Chicolini, you've come just in time. We need a man who's fearless, brave. A man who's willing to die, if necessary.
-All right -- I'll go out and find one.
-Firefly must be captured at any cost.
-That's easy, I'll get him for you wholesale.
-It must be done right away.
-We're not allowed to tell a dirty joke HAIL, HAIL, FREEDONIA
-If chewing gum is chewed, The chewer is pursued And in the hoosegow hidden...
-If we should choose to chew, we'll be pursued -
-I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair; I'm strictly on the up and up, So everyone beware. If anyone's caught taking graft And I don't get my share, we'll stand 'em up against the wall - and pop goes the weasel!
-So everyone beware Who's crooked or unfair; No one must take a bit of graft Unless he gets his share.
-If any man should come between A husband and his bride, We find out which one she prefers By letting her decide. If she prefers the other man, The husband steps outside; We stand him up against the wall And Pop goes the Weasel!
-The husband steps outside; Relinquishes his bride; We stand him up against the wall And take him for a ride.
-Your Excellency, please don't think me silly, but I'd love to have a picture of you. I want to hang it in my bedroom.
-You keep that up and you'll crab the whole war.
-Oh, Your Excellency, isn't there something I can do?
-I shall dance for you tonight as I've never danced before.
-This is a fine thing to be doing at my age.
-Are you getting tired?
-Are you sure you're not tired?
-That's even a greater honor.
-I bring you the greetings of my President and the good will of my people.
-I'll keep the greetings -- but you can send back the good will... what we need right now is twenty million dollars.
-Twenty million dollars is a considerable sum... I'll have to discuss that with my Minister of Finance.
-Well, in the meantime, could you let me have $50 personally?
-$50?
-I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll give you Mrs. Teasdale as security. or my jackknife. If you want my advice, you'll take the jackknife... I've a better proposition... Make it $25 and I'll give you a first mortgage on my son and I hope you foreclose.
-Your Excellency, haven't we met before?
-Excellency, may I present my niece.
-Go ahead.
-You don't understand. This is my niece Vera.
-When you get through with her feet, you can start on mine. I haven't been to a chiropodist in two years... If that's not an insult, I don't know what is. Gloria, I love you. I --
-Can't we go some place where we can be alone?
-This has gone far enough! This interruption is humiliating, to say the least...
-That's what you think.
-You swine!
-Give me that again!
-You worm!
-Once more!
-You upstart!
-Then it's war?
-Yes.
-How're ya fixed for ammunition?
-Bah!!
-I'm sorry we lost our tempers... I'm willing to forget if you are.
-Forget? You ask me to forget... Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves... and I'd only have to bury them again... A Firefly never forgets...
-I am willing to apologize... I'm willing to do anything to prevent this war.
-What I called you... Why, what did I call you?
-I don't remember.
-Oh -- you mean... worm?
-No, that wasn't it...
-Was it -- swine?
-No... it was a seven letter word.
-Oh yes! -- UPSTART!
-Why - er - Mrs. Teasdale - this is an outrage! This man is impossible... My course is clear... this means war... You RUNT!
-What'll I do with this card?
-In choosing you, I feel that I serve my country well. I heartily endorse everything you stand for.
-Well, I won't stand for much. And I won't stand for you if you don't show some improvement soon. Look at your report card last month -- "D" in spelling... six in behavior. Now who were the six? A fine state of affairs -- no wonder you can't matriculate, now what were you saying?
-The future of Freedonia rests upon you. Promise me you will follow in my husband's footsteps.
-I haven't been on the job five minutes and already she's making advances to me. Not that I care -- but where is your husband?
-Why - er -- my husband passed away... I was with him to the very end.
-No wonder he passed away. I'd like to be with you to the very end. Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you -- I love you.
-Your Excellency!
-Your Excellency, the eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every land are gathered here in your honor -- This is a gala day for us.
-Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I couldn't handle any more.
-If it's not asking too much -- For our information just for illustration Tell us how you intend to run the nation.
-You've made a wonderful impression. Your views are liberal... It is easy to see you have an open mind.
-That's what I get for dressing in a hurry.
-Your Excellency, you mustn't forget your appointment at the House of Representatives... Have you got your speech ready?
-I wrote a speech last night that'll knock them off their seats... Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation --
-Why, that's the speech that Lincoln made at Gettysburg...
-Oh, Rufus!
-All I can offer you is a Rufus over your head.
-Oh, Your Excellency, I don't know what to say.
-So -- you've come to ask for clemency! I'll give the enemy no quarter -- not a dime...
-But Your Excellency -- the Ambassador is here on a friendly visit... He came to ask you to patch up the breach.
-Oh, won't you reconsider...
-Guard them with your life... don't leave them out of your sight... If the enemy gets those papers we're lost. If they don't get them, we're lost. Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you... Mrs. Teasdale, you're the salt of the earth. They don't come any better than you...
-Now -- er --
-Well -- they might come better but they don't come any bigger... and the bigger the better. The bigger the betta you've got on a horse, the more you lose, and speaking about horses, why don't you marry me. Come, come -- say yes and you'll never see me again. I'll go 'way if it means your happiness...
-Gloria -- may I call you Gloria?
-Why -- why -- of course.
-I hope I'm not interrupting.
-Take a seat -- you're next.
-Your Excellency, something terrible has just happened.
-My purse has been stolen -- the plans of war are in it.
-I -- I may be wrong, but I suspect the Secretary of War.
-Don't bother me - I'm thinking -- What was that?
-I said - I suspect the Secretary of War.
-THIS IS TREASON!! What a fool I was to listen to your siren song and fall a helpless victim under the insidious spell of your irresistible charms --
-But -
-You know I think they think I should be king. Although it would please me to govern the throng, suppose I were king and then everything went wrong.
-Your uncle has been such a friend to us in every crisis. Without his country's financial aid --
-What is money? Mrs. Teasdale, for you -- I would do anything.
-Ambassador! I am so anxious for you to meet our new dictator.
-...but would further cement the relations of our countries.
-Ambassador Trentino, I am indeed honored... But you see - well - I --
-Oh. Then there his somebody else?
-Well no -- not exactly -- but --
-Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
-I shall report this indignity the my President. Mrs. Teasdale, I feel this regrettable occurrence will plunge our countries into war.
-Mrs. Teasdale, I'm willing to pocket my pride and do anything I can to make up with his Excellency.
-Oh, would you...?
-So that's the one you want to marry.
-With Mrs. Teasdale as my wife and Freedonia under my control --
-Maybe it's not going to be so easy. From what I've heard, Mrs. Teasdale is rather sweet on this Rufus T. Firefly.
-Uncle, you can't do this!
-My dear niece -- I must ask you not to interfere. War is not a woman's problem.
-This is all Firefly's fault -- that idiot, that fool...
-I thought everything was working out fine.
-Fine nothing! I didn't want war... My plan was to marry Mrs. Teasdale and overthrow Firefly.
-If only we can get his Excellency to listen to reason...
-Mr. Merrick, sugar?
-Yes please, two.
-One or two?
-Oh yes. You have so many nice things, and so much room.
-And here is one of Frederick's mother.
-They have noble faces.
-I've always thought that myself.
-Oh... why Mr. Merrick she's beautiful.
-She has the face of an angel... She was an angel. She was so kind... so kind to me. It's not her fault, for in the fourth month of her maternal condition she was knocked down by an elephant. I'm sure I must have been a great disappointment to her.
-Oh no, Mr. Merrick. No. No son as loving as you are could ever be a disappointment.
-You won't be long?
-Did it go well, darling?
-Yes, very well, I think. Are the girls in bed?
-Yes, and they send their kisses. Would you like your sherry now?
-Freddie?... Freddie, don't look so discouraged.
-I shouldn't be. We made great progress today. I taught him to repeat a few basic phrases. He did rather well, too, but I had to lead him every step of the way. Though frankly, at times I was unsure of who was leading whom.
-What do you mean?
-Well, I wasn't sure whether he was parroting me because that's all he was capable of, or whether he sensed that that's all I wanted to hear, and he was trying to please me.
-But I thought you said that he was rather... simple?
-Frederick, why are you so interested in this particular case?
-Perhaps you're just polishing a stone, endowing this Elephant Man with qualities he doesn't possess?
-And what qualities are those? Intelligence or stupidity?
-I'm sorry... I don't know either. I just don't know.
-Well, these things take time.
-John loves the house.
-Yes.
-You stay with me.
-More romances for John?
-Hmmm?
-...Freddie! What's the matter? You've been like this all evening.
-Oh... I've just been thinking about something that man Bytes said.
-Oh, Freddie. What could that wretched vampire say to upset you?
-That I am very little different from him.
-Oh that's absurd, Frederick. No, no Frederick, that's all wrong! John is happier and more fulfilled now than he has ever been in his entire life. And, that is completely due to you.
-But why did I do it? What was this all for? So John Merrick could live out his last days in peace and comfort? Or so I could become famous?
-Frederick, just what is it that you are saying?
-...Am I a good man or am I a bad man?
-Excuse me, Mr. Treves, sir.
-Yes?
-I found it.
-Our man is sick. Come right away.
-What is it?
-Like this.
-You sly bastard. You're doing this to spite me, aren't you!
-Aw, Bytes, he's sick.
-He's doing it to spite me, I tell you, and it's got to stop!
-He's sick, Bytes. He's going to die.
-What are you going to do?
-Don't!
-What did you do to him? He's been like this all night!
-What do you mean?
-He was fine when he left here, and now look at him.
-What happened?
-He fell. He falls.
-He's a clumsy git. Never watches where he is going.
-Why is he sitting up like this? He needs rest.
-This man belongs in hospital.
-Can't you fix him up here? ...He's my livelihood. Listen.
-I like doing business with you. You and I understand each other, completely. I know I can trust you. Can't I?
-I want my man back.
-Just a moment, how did you get in here?
-Never mind that, I want my man!
-He's still very sick. Please come downstairs with me. I'll explain the situation.
-DON'T... Don't muck me about. You've had plenty of time to fix him up, and he's leaving with me, NOW. Do you understand me? Now, Mr. Treves. We had a bargain!
-You misunderstood. This man suffered a severe fall, if you take my meaning. He's my patient now and I must do what...
-Pull the other one, why don't you! We made a deal!
-I know what you've done to him and he's never going back to that.
-He's a freak! That's how they live. We're partners, him and I, business partners. You're willfully deprivin' me of my livlihood!
-All you do is profit from another man's misery!
-You think you're better 'n me? YOU wanted the freak to show all your doctor chums and make a name for yourself, you guv. So I gave him to you. On trust, in the name of science! And now I want him back.
-You don't own this man!
-I want him back!
-So you can beat him? So you can starve him? A dog in the street would fare better with you!
-Now I think we really do understand one another.
-Good morning, Treves.
-Good morning, sir.
-You've acquired a taste for this?
-It's quite nutritious, sir.
-Don't be frightened. He won't hurt you.
-A hospital is no place for secrecy, Mr. Treves. Doctors spiriting hooded figures about are liable to cause comment. Why wasn't this patient properly admitted, and why is he in isolation? Is he contagious?
-No sir, he's got bronchitis and he's been badly beaten.
-Why isn't he in the General Ward, then?
-Well sir, he's quite seriously deformed, and I fear the other patients would find him... rather shocking.
-Deformed? Is that it. Then am I to assume that he is ultimately incurable?
-Yes sir.
-What are your plans then, Treves... You are aware that the London does not accept incurables. The rules are quite clear on that point.
-Yes, I'm well aware of that. But this case is quite exceptional.
-Oh, is he a friend of yours?
-I certainly sympathize with your problem, Treves... Why don't you try the British Home, or the Royal Hospital for perhaps they would have a place for him.
-Have you contacted the British Home and the Royal Hospital?
-Ah, no sir. I had planned to see them in the morning.
-Good! How is the patient?
-He's doing very well. In fact that's why I came to see you. I think that if I were to present Mr. Merrick to the hospital committee, then they would have a chance to see for themselves not only the extraordinary nature of the disease, but of the man as well. If the committee had a chance to speak with him, hear him say
-A few words? I thought he was imbecile?
-Well sir, perhaps I should explain...
-I really don't think that's necessary Treves. I'm quite sure the committee will be able to make an equitable decision on the merits of the case, such as they are.
-I don't agree. No one can make a reasonable decision about this man's future without at least meeting him. No doctor would presume to diagnose a patient he had never met.
-No, Treves, it's out of the question. Now if it was up to me, I'd say "Certainly, let's meet the fellow, by all means," I'm sorry, I simply can't speak for the other members of the committee.
-Then will you meet him, as a representative of the committee.
-Singularly unpleasant chap... uh... I don't suppose there would be any harm in my meeting your... patient, Mr. Treves.
-Thank you very much Sir. Shall we say in a few days then?
-Shall we say two o'clock tomorrow afternoon?
-Wh... whatever is most convenient for you, sir.
-Two o'clock then... you know Treves... It seems this acquaintance of yours has become rather more than just an acquaintance.
-It's only a physical problem. He has trouble with certain sounds because of the constrictive deformity of the mouth. But he can talk, and has a great eagerness to make contact with people who will let him. So if you have any difficulty understanding what he is saying, just tell me and I'll make it clear.
-...As I said, it's only a physical problem... but I do feel that Mr. Merrick is very flattered that you're taking the time and trouble to meet him, and he's most anxious to make a good impression, so he might seem rather nervous.
-He needn't. I have no desire to cause him any discomfort. Did you make those inquiries we spoke about?
-Yes, I spoke to both the British Home and Royal Hospital for Incurables. I'm afraid that they weren't very encouraging, but they said they'd bring it up at their next committee meeting, so we should have their answers shortly.
-Oh yes?
-It was a nice try, Treves, but the man is so obviously mouthing your words.
-Yes, I'm very sorry to have wasted your time, sir. I just felt that I had to do anything I could to protect him.
-How did you, know the rest? I never taught you the rest of it.
-I don't understand.
-Treves. Well done.
-Can you imagine what his life has been like?
-Yes, I think I can.
-You are quite right, Treves, this is an exceptional case. And I quite agree that the committee should see Mr. Merrick.
-I could easily arrange...
-No, not that way. Broadneck and the others don't like to deal with patients directly. It makes them queasy... Do you have any photographs of Mr. Merrick?
-Well, yes.
-Excellent. We shall present them, along with the other particulars of the case to the committee. I want them to see, exactly, how horribly his body has been affected. You and I shall vouch for his inner qualities.
-Do you think they'll go along with us?
-Don't we?
-No, we don't. Their committees have informed me that they're unwilling to take Mr. Merrick, even if they were supplied with funds. They don't want him.
-Has the response picked up?
-Frankly, Treves, it's not what I'd expected. A few small cheques. Well- wishers. Don't worry, these things undoubtedly take time.
-But he's so afraid he's going to be carted off. I've promised him that won't happen.
-Well... I'll let you know if there's something in the afternoon post.
-Don't you think this is a bit premature? We don't have the backing yet to...
-How are you feeling today?
-I feel much better. Thank you for asking. And you?
-I'm feeling very fit, thank you. How is your bronchitis?
-I feel much better. Thank you.
-Are you comfortable here?
-...I... everyone has been very kind to me.
-...everyone has been very kind.
-What is it, Treves?
-It was a great pleasure to meet you, Mr. Merrick.
-I am very pleased to meet you.
-How long has this man been here?
-Three quarters of an hour.
-Abominable things these machines. One can't reason with them.
-I say Freddie, what are you about?
-Good Lord, Freddie! What have you got in there?
-You'll know presently. At the meeting of the society. But until then, I beg of you Fox, keep it to yourself.
-Certainly, if you insist. You must have quite a find there.
-I don't know what I've got.
-You never mentioned his mental state.
-Fair Katharine, and most fair, will you vouchsafe to teach a soldier terms Such as will enter at a lady's ear And plead his love-suit to her gentle heart?
-Your majesty shall mock at me; I cannot speak your England.
-O fair Katharine, if you will love me soundly with your French heart, I will be glad to hear you confess it brokenly with your English tongue. Do you like me, Kate?
-Pardonnez-moi, I cannot tell vat is "like me".
-An angel is like you, Kate, and you are like an angel.
-O bon Dieu! les langues des hommes sont pleines de tramperies.
-What say you, fair one? That the tongues of men are full of deceits?
-Oui, dat de tongues of de mans is be full of deceits.
-Good day...!
-I've brought you some things. I hope you'll like, Mr. Merrick. I hope you don't think it too forward.
-Oh, no.
-I want you to know that I don't go about giving my pictures to just anyone.
-She's very pretty, your mother.
-Mr. Treves says that you are in the theatre. Do you live there?
-Oh no, Mr. Merrick. I just work there.
-Well, even to work there would be wonderful. Is it beautiful?
-You've never been?
-Alas, no.
-Well you must go. It is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Of course, I'm rather partial.
-Tell me about it, please!
-It's very difficult to put into a nutshell, but I should say the theater is the shrine of the imagination, where one may suspend disbelief and travel anywhere in the world, to any time you desire. You may look over the shoulders of kings, unobserved, battle with ruthless tyrants, and marry the beautiful princess, all in the space of a few hours. Onstage you
-Romance!
-Have you read it?
-Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?
-Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
-Why, Mr. Merrick, you're not an Elephant Man at all...
-Oh no?
-John, I'd like you to meet one of the brightest lights of the British stage, Mrs. Kendal. Mrs. Kendal, John Merrick.
-It's all arranged. I'll send over some evening gowns for the sisters that you select to accompany Mr. Merrick. You'll be using the Royal entrance and Princess Alexandra herself will be there to welcome him to her private box.
-I'm very grateful to you, Mrs. Kendal. This is just the thing to help him forget his ordeal. John will be very excited.
-Well it is a miracle he ever got back. And, I'm sure, Mr. Treves, under your expert care, he'll have many happy years ahead.
-I fear not, Mrs. Kendal. Even in the short time he was gone the size of his head has increased rapidly... as is his pain.
-How awful for John.
-And yet, not once have any of us heard him complain.
-Is he... dying then?
-Yes. There is nothing more frustrating, nothing that makes a physician feel more useless, than standing by watching his patient deteriorate. And when that patient is a friend, no... no, there's absolutely nothing I can do.
-Well, it's all quite... I've never heard... It's quite...
-You alright?
-y-y-yes--
-Want to come out?
-You're English.
-Of course! You want out?
-Yes.
-I'm sorry I could only get you a third class ticket, but it's all we had.
-Oh no, my friend...
-Say hello to London for me. I miss her.
-Oh, yes.
-Feeling better now, Mr. Merrick?
-Thank you very much.
-Well, if there is nothing more, I suppose we'll be leaving you now.
-Good morning, Mr. Merrick.
-What? Oh! I see! It's St. Phillips. Oh, of course. Why... why that's very good, I mean you've gotten the windows and arches just right.
-Yes.
-But it's so good, I mean... it's so very good.
-Thank you... very much.
-The hallway? Oh, the wastecan!
-I meant no harm, it was the only place where I could find cardboard. I thought it has been thrown away.
-What's this?
-The main spire.
-The... oh, the spire! How silly of me, it's as plain as day... Mr. Merrick, where did you learn to do this?
-I'll have to find some more.
-Yyyy... Yyye... yyyess.
-...Yyes
-Yyyess.
-Yyess.
-That's much better. I could understand that "yes".
-Yes!
-Very good! Oh yes! Now listen. I'm going to say some things to you and I want you to repeat them... um... I want you to say them back to me. Do you understand? I'm going to say some things to you and I want you to say them back to me. Do you understand?
-Yes.
-Excellent! Now, say... "Hello"
-Hello...
-My name is...
-My... name is...
-John Merrick.
-John... Merrick
-Say "Merrick".
-Merrick...
-Say "Mmmerrick."
-Mmmerrick.
-Say "Mmmerrick."
-Mmmerrick.
-Well, that's alright. I understand you. Now, say the whole thing again, Hello ...
-Why, my dear Mrs. Mothershead, how good of you to join us. Mr. Merrick, will you please introduce yourself?
-The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, he maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul: He Guideth me in the paths of righteousness...
-Righteousness...
-Righteousness for his namesake.
-Very good, very good. Now, when your visitor comes today I want you to say it exactly the way you said it just now. I will introduce him to you and you will say the words you've learned. If you have any trouble with any of the words, I'll help you. I'm sure you'll be just fine. If you do as well for him
-John, may I introduce you to Sir Carr Gomm.
-Mr. Merrick likes the food here. Don't you John?
-...Yes potatoes... but...
-Why did you let me go on like that, teaching you what you already knew? Why didn't you tell me you could read?
-You did not ask me.
-I never thought to ask. How can you ever forgive me?
-Oh, no do not say that. You have been so kind to me. I was afraid to say too much. People always want me to be quiet. You wanted me to speak, but I was afraid. Forgive me.
-Good evening. How are you feeling?
-Good evening. Very well, thank you. And you?
-This... is my new home?
-Yes.
-The hospital?
-How long will I stay here?
-You look splendid, John.
-Thank you very much.
-John... what's the matter? John... why are you upset?
-Well, it's a lovely bedroom. What do you call that thing above the bed?
-That's a canopy, John.
-Ohhh...
-How is your tea, John?
-It's very good. I'm enjoying my visit with you very much. It's so very kind of you to have me as a guest in your home. I'm sorry I made a spectacle of myself.
-Not at all, John.
-I love the way you've arranged your pictures on the mantlepiece. Is that the way it's done in most houses?
-Oh yes.
-Who are they of?
-Oh, our relatives... the children.
-The children! May I see?
-The Children. Where are your children
-Oh, they're gone for the day... with friends.
-Would you... would you like to see my mother?
-Your mother?
-Good morning, John.
-Good morning.
-When will the stream be aweary of flowing under my eye? When will the wind be aweary of blowing over the sky? When will the clouds be aweary of fleeting? When will the heart be aweary of beating, and nature die?
-Mr. Treves, there is something I've been meaning to ask you for some time...
-Yes, John?
-No John, I can't. I can care for you, but I can't cure you.
-The cathedral is coming along nicely.
-How blind of me. Is there anything else, John, anything at all that I could get for you?
-Oh no! There is nothing! I have everything, you have given me everything I could possibly want. I am happy every hour of the day. I only wish there was something I could give to you.
-You want a dressing bag, John?
-...my... home?
-Yes, John.
-You did this for me?
-Yes.
-My home.
-Is it the one you wanted?
-Oh, Mr. Treves. Mr. Treves.
-Are you sure? Because I can take it back.
-Mr. Treves! Treves.
-Stand up, John. Let them see you.
-Oh no, I couldn't.
-Will the cathedral be finished soon, John?
-Yes, very soon.
-Splendid. it's truly a masterpiece. Well, I suppose I'll be on my way now. I hoped your enjoyed yourself this evening.
-Oh yes! It was wonderful!
-Yes John?
-Mr. Treves, tell me... tell me truly. Is it alright, did I make any mistakes that you can see?
-No, John, not one that I can see.
-Then I shouldn't change anything?
-Goodnight John. Sleep well.
-Ah, Mothershead. How are you feeling today?
-Fine.
-Good. Excellent. Now then, Mrs. Mothershead, I want you to come into this room with me. Inside there is a man with a rather... unfortunate appearance.
-I've heard.
-Yes... Well, I want you to clear up a little mess, a breakfast tray was spilt. And bring up another breakfast. When you've done that, you and I shall give the man a bath. But, Mothershead, I'm counting on your many years of experience to get you through this, Above all, do not scream, do not cry out, or in any way show this
-Sir, you don't have to worry about me. I'm not the sort to cry out. Shall we go in?
-The workhouse.
-Good morning, Mr. Treves. It'll be his bath-time soon. Has he eaten?
-Won't come out, eh?
-No, he's very upset about something.
-He's had his share of "smacks", Mothershead. I expect that's what drives him under the bed. We must use patience and understanding with this man.
-Good Lord, Mr. Treves!
-We've made tremendous strides today, Mothershead. He listens and repeats with great attention, and this certainly isn't easy for him.
-Parrots can do as much, Mr. Treves. It's all very nice, but I don't see the point. You know they won't let him stay here.
-Watery headed bunch.
-Incredible, isn't it? Well, I think John has had enough visitors for one day, Mothershead. I've got a lecture at the college, I'll be back this evening.
-Excuse me, sir. I'd like to have a word with you.
-Oh?... Well, quickly please, Mothershead, I'm overdue.
-I can't understand why you let those people go in there, sir.
-Now Mothershead, you have to understand that this is very good for John. He relishes contact with people outside the hospital...
-But you saw them, sir. They couldn't hide their disgust. They don't care anything for John, they're just trying to impress their friends.
-Aren't you being just a little harsh, Mothershead? You yourself hardly treated John with much loving kindness when he first arrived.
-I bathed him, didn't I? I fed him and cleaned up after him! If loving kindness can be called care and practical concern, then yes, I did treat him with loving kindness, and I'm not ashamed to say it.
-Mr. Treves, some more books arrived for Mr. Merrick.
-Thank you, Mothershead. Have a porter put them in my office.
-Yes sir. What's that?
-A dressing bag.
-Very smart indeed.
-Yes. John wants it.
-A dressing bag?
-You don't think it's too gaudy, do you.
-Well...
-So you see, John, there's no need for a lighthouse. All your friends are here.
-WHERE IS MR. MERRICK?
-Don't lie to me. I know all about it. You were SEEN. Where did you take him?
-Take him? Now wait... I didn't take him anywhere. We were just having some fun. We didn't hurt him... just having a laugh, that's all.
-HE'S GONE!
-When I left him, he was in his bed, safe and sound.
-YOU BASTARD! You tortured him. YOU TORTURED HIM, you bastard. WHERE is HE?
-YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME! I ain't done nothing wrong. People pay to see your monster, Mr. Treves. I just take the money.
-Are you the proprietor?
-And who might you be, sir?
-Just one of the curious. I'd like to see it.
-I'd pay handsomely for a private showing. Are you the proprietor?
-Handsomely?... Who sent you?
-Pardon me?
-So you'll bring him to me, tomorrow, 10:00 a.m.? Mr...?
-Bytes. Mr. Bytes. He'll be there.
-Open up! I know you're in there!
-Ah! It's my father!
-Right! Where is he?
-Who, Father?
-Who? Who? Whoever you've got in here of course!
-Well... where is he?
-Ah! So you admit there IS someone!
-It's all in your own mind, Father... It's YOU who imagine that I'm always up here with some man or other....
-There is no magic, Father... My mother had no magic...
-She did, I tell you! She could blind me as easily as the night the day.
-It's your fantasy...
-It's all right! It isn't happening!
-It's sinking! Hy-Brasil is sinking!
-WHAT did you say?
-I said welcome.
-WELCOME?
-How d'you KNOW we're "friends"?
-Please! Please! What are those?
-What are what?
-Those things in your hands.
-What's the matter?
-PLEASE! You don't know what you're doing!
-What?
-WHY?
-Yes.
-Have you ever felt like this about anyone else?
-What... you mean "got into bed with" them?
-No, of course not, silly -- I mean FELT like this about them?
-You mean... you HAVE got into bed with somebody else?
-No, I mean have you ever felt that for the first time in your life you'd met somebody you could believe in with your whole heart... someone whose goals suddenly seem to be YOUR goals... whose dreams seem to be YOUR dreams?
-HAVE you ever been to bed with anyone else?
-What does that matter? But you've... you've... FELT like this before...
-It was different...
-What was she like?
-Oh... oh, I didn't know her very well...
-But you LOVED her all the same...
-We never went to bed together.
-Why do you go on about that? What does it matter?
-You've been to bed with somebody else, haven't you?
-I've never LOVED anybody!
-The Cloak Invisible. It was my mother's parting gift.
-"The fifth one this week"!
-Oh, for goodness' sake!
-That's just what I was trying to tell you. You ARE...
-Five this week; how many the week before?
-You're as bad as my father.
-We mustn't let him land!
-Who?
-Halfdan the Black.
-Just give me a hand.
-Where's the Cloak Invisible?
-No!
-I'll bring it back.
-Erik. You don't understand.
-No. It's YOU who doesn't understand, Aud. Halfdan has come to kill and destroy. We brought him here. We must stop him.
-But you don't realize....
-And thanks for the Cloak Invisible!
-No! No! We are in the spell of the Horn! Hatred will destroy us.
-No. Don't look... The abyss will suck away your strength.
-YOU still want to go to Asgaard?
-Of course.
-Do you believe I love you?
-I... but I...
-You don't have to love me. Just: do you believe I love YOU?
-Yes -- I believe you do.
-The second note.
-Erik! You've done what you came to do!
-Blow the third note! The note to take us home!
-There is something I must ask the Gods...
-Then I shall come too.
-No... no...
-I don't want to live WITHOUT you.
-LOKI! Where did YOU come from?
-But --
-But... How is it you can see me? You can all see me?
-How do we know this is the way?
-We blew the Horn Resounding.
-Now what CAN you want with me, Erik the "Viking"?
-I shouldn't have come.
-What do you see, Erik?
-I see the world.
-Is it night or day, Erik?
-It is day, of course, Freya.
-Have you ever seen the sun, Erik?
-The sun is up beyond the clouds -- where it always is.
-But have you ever seen it? Think back...
-Of course not... but... when I was a child... I remember a dream.... it was as if the whole sky was blue...
-Is there nothing men can do?
-The Gods are asleep, Erik.
-And will the dead ever return, Freya?
-No... we don't...
-How?
-Well... for a start... er... there's no killing...
-Well, OBVIOUSLY there's no killing.
-Would you like us to sing to you?
-What's the matter, don't you WANT to hear our singing?
-Oh... well, yes, of course; it's just we're looking for the Horn Resounding and --
-You don't think our singing's going to be good enough for you?
-Oh, no no no! It's just the Horn Resounding is...
-A lot of people like our singing.
-I'm sure it's lovely.
-But you don't want to hear it.
-Er... well... we... we... would be TERRIBLY grateful if you... all... would sing for us.
-Of course we're not; we'd genuinely like to hear you sing.
-REALLY?
-Really.
-No.
-We're just not a very musical nation...
-No, no... It was very... er, nice.
-No.
-Your Majesty! We come from a world where there IS no music. Where men live and die by the axe and by the sword...
-Well, how d'you think I feel?
-The Gods are asleep, King Arnulf.
-I'll tell you what...
-Careful! They're not supposed to hurt you.
-It's all part of our safety regulations. You see if someone were to get hurt they might get angry and then... well...
-He's trying to stop us waking the Gods.
-Why?
-Because that's how he makes his money, by war and plunder!
-Don't talk nonsense.
-He wants to kill US!
-Not when we explain about the Great Blessing.
-You don't know Halfdan the Black.
-Is there something the matter with it?
-Oh! No! No... of course not... it's just I hadn't expected it to be quite so big.
-Well, it's not called the Horn Resounding for nothing. You DO know how to play the horn, don't you?
-Yes... oh, yes...
-But it IS! Look!
-Have you done this sort of thing before?
-Me? Of course! I've been looting and pillaging up and down the coast.
-Looting and pillaging, eh?
-Yes.
-What about the raping?
-Shut up.
-It's obvious you haven't raped anyone in your life.
-Of course I like women... I LOVE 'em.
-You don't love ME.
-No... right... this is RAPE... Mark you, I'm not saying I couldn't get to like you... in fact... well, to be quite honest, I prefer it when there's some sort of mutual feeling between two people...
-What -- rape?
-No. It isn't rape then, is it?
-Oh, get it over with.
-I don't suppose... no...
-What?
-I don't suppose you... you DO like me at all?
-I'll kill you if you say anything about this to anyone.
-About raping me?
-About NOT raping you...
-You DON'T like it, do you?
-Well it just seems a little bit crude, that's all.
-What about the killing and looting? That's just as crude, isn't it?
-Oh well -- you've GOT to do them.
-Why? Why have you got to go round killing and looting?
-To pay for the next expedition, of course.
-But that's a circular argument! If the only reason for going on an expedition is the killing and looting and the only reason for the killing and looting is to pay for the next expedition, they cancel each other out.
-Oh! Stop talking as if we were married!
-Well you started it.
-I just said I didn't feel like raping you.
-Scream.
-Ah.
-Louder.
-Aaagh! Rape!
-Thanks for saving me from a fate worse than death.
-I didn't mean to!
-You told them I raped you -- why?
-I dunno... you looked so... so vulnerable...
-Why should you care?
-Why... should YOU care?
-I've come to take you back to the land of the living.
-What a stupid idea.
-Why?
-What's the point of being dead in the land of the living?
-Have you tried to ask the God for anything?
-Is THAT Odin?
-You'll have to wait till he's finished his game.
-Why should you care?
-FIND the Rainbow Bridge?
-"But" what?
-But...
-Nothing... Halfdan the Black chopped his hand off last night.
-What are you talking about?
-It's Halfdan the Black!
-Erik! Row! What are you doing?
-How deep IS the ocean?
-Let's hack her to pieces.
-What's wrong with making friends?
-That's terrible!
-Halfdan the Black's here!
-I know!
-But. You're not even afraid of DEATH, Thorfinn!
-It's not magic! It's just a trick!
-We're missing all the fun...
-What's it all about?
-What?
-We toil and labor, we loot and pillage, rape and kill... and yet...
-You talking piffle, son?
-Where does it all get us, Grandpa?
-Who have you been talking to?
-I met this girl...
-It's always the women that start the trouble.
-She got me thinking...
-I... I... KILLED her...
-He can have my place. I don't want to go anyway.
-I want to die... No, I don't!
-Slower! Nobody can row at that speed!
-Slower! In... Out...
-Faster!
-What are YOU doing here?
-Ohh! I wanted to sit next to Leif.
-SHUT UP!
-Look, the sky is blue...
-It's magic.
-What "magic"?
-What "magic" have you brought, Erik?
-What did he say?
-You must help us.
-We don't HAVE to help anybody.
-Fenrir the Wolf covers the sun -- men fight and kill each other the whole time.
-Why should WE care?
-Because... you're... you're the Gods....
-So?
-Erik the Viking! The things you seek are not in our power. We don't make men love each other or hate each other.
-But you're the Gods!
-You mean we'd be dead?
-Thank you VERY much indeed.
-Now stop it!
-It's SO nice to feel wanted.
-Leif, you sit there. Even, you sit there. Harald, you'd better sit over there...
-You can't have Sven's father sitting next to Sven. They'll argue the whole time.
-That's true. You'd better sit there. You there, and Ornulf there.
-That's better.
-Row!
-First we're flying -- now we're sinking!
-Listen! Maybe we won't get to Hy- Brasil! Maybe we won't find the Horn Resounding... but at least we've tried... and at least we shall have died like men.
-A magic dishcloth.
-Weren't we supposed to?
-No! Let go, Snorri!
-I've got you!
-You'll be sucked down too!
-There is another way.
-Who gets killed?
-You need to say a bit more than that!
-What's the matter with them?
-Just say something cheerful.
-I think we should go...
-Right. Farewell... for the last time... may the gods prevent...
-Wait, Erik!
-Bjorn's not. He could have Bjorn's place.
-What do you think?
-And you, Keitel Blacksmith.
-Well, what else do we do?
-So Halfdan the Black's using magic, is he? Well, I have a magic to match his!
-Don't you see, Erik! She wants revenge!
-And you, Sven, aren't you afraid of crossing the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard?
-What are you talking about, Erik?
-Only the dead reach Asgaard, Erik.
-Nobody's ever crossed the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard.
-But HOW?
-Hey, you two! What's going on?
-Look, I bagged it last week.
-It doesn't matter WHERE you sit!
-Yes it does! We could be at sea for months.
-Well, what difference does it make where you're SITTING?
-I AM one, Dad!
-ROW!
-She hasn't got any.
-Hy-Brasil?
-We must blow the first note... he note that will take us to Asgaard...
-Sven!
-I came to find my grandfather.
-Bye, Leif.
-Bye... sorry...
-Yeah... well...
-You will wait?
-That's why they call me... Leif the Lucky.
-What's all the panic about?
-It can't do you any HARM...
-What do we have to do?
-How did he do that?
-Do what?
-Vanish into thin air?
-He hasn't.
-You coming? You don't even believe in Asgaard.
-I thought I might do a bit of business on the way.
-You're wasting your time.
-Listen. I've been in this dump for sixteen years and I haven't made a single convert...
-There was Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife. You converted HER.
-Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife became a Buddhist, not a Christian.
-Same thing, isn't it?
-You know, my son, our lord said...
-Your lord.
-Quite... MY lord... said: "The Prayer of Faith shall have the sick."
-Are you all right?
-No, I'm not.
-You don't need to feel bad about being sea-sick, you know.
-How can you help feeling bad when you're sea-sick?
-I know. I know.
-Olaf Tryggvason used to throw up on every single voyage... the whole time... non-stop... puke... puke... puke.
-He used to puke in his sleep.
-Is it sort of... like a sinking feeling in your stomach?
-And a sort of slightly sick feeling?
-That's it! AND you keep wanting to go to the lavatory.
-Oh! Who cares? We're HOME!
-Aaagh!
-Let me go, Sven.
-What are you talking about?
-I'm not worth risking your life for.
-I've got you, Keitel Blacksmith. If you go... I go too...
-For your own sake... For the others... I...
-Well! Come on!
-Who's that?
-It's me. I'm just going to water the dragon...
-What?
-What are you doing, Keitel Blacksmith?
-Get away, Snorri.
-Ooh, that's a good one! You could charge Halfdan fifteen for that one.
-Yes, it is good. But I told him ten.
-You just can't make enough swords and spears and knives and daggers to satisfy the demand. You could charge Halfdan twenty and he'd pay it.
-Oh, I couldn't do that! The Blacksmith's Code says...
-If this IS the Age of Ragnarok, Keitel Blacksmith, it is GOOD to us.
-Can't make enough swords!
-Can't make enough axe-heads!
-They chase Fenrir the Wolf from the sky...
-The Age of Ragnarok ends...
-The bottom falls out of the sword business!
-It's not just YOUR livelihood that's at stake but your son's, and the livelihood of ALL blacksmiths.
-My brother blacksmiths!
-That's right.
-The Blacksmith's Code says I must...
-Honour and protect all blacksmiths.
-Together we stand!
-Wasn't it, Keitel?
-Are you going to let Erik wake the Gods?
-Sh! Hurry!
-YOU do it!
-I can't swim! I can't swim!
-Relax!
-Urrgh! Argh! Let go, you idiot!
-Help!
-Help!
-Shut up!
-She knows it was our fault!
-Keep your mouth shut, Keitel!
-You've lost your mind.
-We came to stop you waking the Gods, Erik! But I didn't want anyone to get hurt!
-I should have got rid of you long ago!
-Made by YOU, Loki!
-By YOU -- Keitel Blacksmith! Don't you know, Erik, that is why he went with you? Ragnarok was good for his business...
-It's a tradition.
-I know, Dad.
-I was a Berserk for King Harald Fairhair...
-You went berserk...
-I went berserk in every battle I ever fought for King Harald...
-So did your father...
-So did my father and his father before him.
-But it's a responsibility...
-But it's a responsibility being a Berserk.
-I must only let the red rage...
-You must only let the red rage take hold of you in the thick of battle.
-We're being attacked! KILL! Kill! Kill!
-Not now, Sven...
-I must KILL! Kill!
-KILL! KILL!
-HOLD it! HOLD it in!
-Well, of course he is!
-There! THAT'S a true Berserk.
-Well, go on! Go berserk!
-There is nothing we can do...
-He drove me mad!
-Easy, Dad!
-And his "you'll never be a Berserk if you lose your temper"...
-Dad!
-He's not in Valhalla! He died of old age!
-Well I'M certainly not, either.
-Well... I'm game.
-Shut up.
-Thorfinn! You can't die!
-I'm not frightened... of anything...
-You'll see my grandfather in Valhalla!
-No... he's not... not... there...
-And you've got BOTH axes?
-Yes, Mother.
-And something to sharpen them with?
-Yes, Mum.
-And don't forget: never let your enemy get behind you.
-No, Mother.
-And keep your sword greased.
-And if you have to kill somebody, KILL them! Don't stop to think about it.
-I don't know, honey. It's horrible.
-Maybe you need to look at this as a sign to move on. Just make a clean break.
-You weren't supposed to see that.
-They can't erase memories. It's a joke. It's a nasty Clementine hoax.
-Thanks, guys.
-I hope you feel better, sweetie.
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry Naomi couldn't make it. You okay? You seem quiet.
-I remember you turned around. Your face was dark and your hair was backlit -- I could see a halo of frizz -- you asked me if things were okay between Naomi and me.
-I did. You said, things were fine.
-I remember.
-This is the night you met Clementine, Joel. I remember watching you walk down the beach with her and I thought, oh shit.
-Yeah, you told me that later.
-Who was the girl you walked off with?
-Shit. The last time I saw you.
-But I thought, I don't know, I thought it was cool that you were sensitive enough to know what I was feeling and that you were attracted to it.
-But, I don't know, maybe we're the normal ones, y'know? I mean, what kind of people do well at this stuff?
-And I just liked you so much.
-No, it was lovely.
-May I help you?
-Yeah, hi, I have a one o'clock with Dr. Mierzwiak. Clementine Kruczynski.
-Ms. Kruczynski?
-How are you today?
-Okay, I guess.
-I just thought I'd say hi. I was in the neighborhood.
-You were not.
-Come over after I'm done here?
-I can't. I want to, but I have to study.
-You rat.
-It's so cool. You're by far the most sensational person in the room.
-In the room?
-Oh, baby, what's going on?
-I don't know. I'm lost. I'm scared. I feel like I'm disappearing. I'm getting old and nothing makes any sense to me.
-Oh, Tangerine.
-Come up to Boston with me?
-Sure. We'll go next weekend and --
-Now. Now! I have to go now. I have to see the frozen Charles! Now! Tonight!
-Um, okay. I'll call my study partner.
-I'm so excited. Yay!
-I didn't have a chance to wrap it.
-What's wrong with me?
-How are you today?
-Okay, I guess.
-Well, I've been having a bad time of it with um, my boyfriend, I guess.
-You guess he's your boyfriend? Or you guess you're having a bad time with him?
-Maybe gay isn't the right word. But, anyway, it's been rough with him... whatever the fuck he is. Heheh. My significant other... heh heh. And I guess on a certain level, I want to break it off, but I feel... y'know... it's like this constant questioning and re questioning. Do I end it? Should I give it more time? I'm not happy, but what
-I'm sorry.
-Why?
-Why what?
-Why are you sorry? I just said hi.
-Really?
-Well, I didn't want to assume.
-Aw, c'mon, live dangerously. Take the leap and assume someone is talking to you in an otherwise empty car.
-It's okay if I sit closer? So I don't have to scream. Not that I don't need to scream sometimes, believe me. But I don't want to bug you if you're trying to write or something.
-No, I mean, I don't know. I can't really think of much to say probably.
-I mean, it's okay if you want to sit down here. I didn't mean to --
-No, I don't want to bug you if you're trying to --
-It's okay, really.
-Just, you know, to chat a little, maybe. I have a long trip ahead of me. How far are you going? On the train, I mean, of course.
-Rockville Center.
-Get out! Me too! What are the odds?
-The weirder part is I think actually I recognize you. I thought that earlier in the diner. That's why I was looking at you. You work at Borders, right?
-Ucch, really? You're kidding. God. Bizarre small world, huh? Yeah, that's me: book slave there for, like, five years now.
-Really? Because --
-Jesus, is it five years? I gotta quit right now.
--- because I go there all the time. I don't think I ever saw you before.
-Well, I'm there. I hide in the back as much as is humanly possible. You have a cell phone? I need to quit right this minute. I'll call in dead.
-I don't have one.
-I'll go on the dole. Like my daddy before me.
-I noticed your hair. I guess it made an impression on me, that's why I was pretty sure I recognized you.
-Ah, the hair. Blue, right? It's called Blue Ruin. The color. Snappy name, huh?
-I like it.
-Blue ruin is cheap gin in case you were wondering.
-Yeah. Tom Waits says it in --
-Exactly! Tom Waits. Which song?
-I can't remember.
-Anyway, this company makes a whole line of colors with equally snappy names. Red Menace, Yellow Fever, Green Revolution. That'd be a job, coming up with those names. How do you get a job like that? That's what I'll do. Fuck the dole.
-I don't really know how --
-Purple Haze, Pink Eraser.
-You think that could possibly be a full time job? How many hair colors could there be?
-Someone's got that job. Agent Orange! I came up with that one. Anyway, there are endless color possibilities and I'd be great at it.
-I'm sure you would.
-My writing career! Your hair written by Clementine Kruczynski. The Tom Waits album is Rain Dogs.
-You sure? That doesn't sound --
-I think. Anyway, I've tried all their colors. More than once. I'm getting too old for this. But it keeps me from having to develop an actual personality. I apply my personality in a paste. You?
-Oh, I doubt that's the case.
-Well, you don't know me, so... you don't know, do you?
-Sorry. I was just trying to be nice.
-My name's Clementine, by the way.
-I'm Joel.
-No jokes about my name? Oh, you wouldn't do that; you're trying to be nice.
-I don't know any jokes about your name.
-Huckleberry Hound?
-I don't know what that means.
-Huckleberry Hound! What, are you nuts?
-I'm not nuts.
-Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin' Clementine? No?
-Sorry. It's a pretty name, though. It means "merciful", right?
-Yeah. Although it hardly fits. I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.
-See, I wouldn't think that about you.
-Why wouldn't you think that about me?
-Oh. I don't know. I was just... I don't know. I was... You seemed nice, so --
-Now I'm nice? Don't you know any other adjectives? There's careless and snotty and overbearing and argumentative... mumpish.
-I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it and I don't need anyone else to be it at me.
-Okay.
-Joel? It's Joel, right?
-Yes?
-I'm sorry I... yelled at you. Was it yelling? I can't really tell. Whatever, I'm a little out of sorts today.
-That's okay.
-My embarrassing admission is I really like that you're nice. Right now, anyway. I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm going to like. But right now I'm glad you said, "that's okay" to me. That was nice of you.
-It's no problem. Anyway, I have some stuff I need to --
-Oh, okay. Well, sure, I'll just... Take care, then.
-Probably see you at the book store.
-Hi. I could give you a ride if you need.
-No, that's okay. Thanks, though.
-You're sure? It's cold.
-I don't want to take you out of your way.
-It's okay.
-Where do you live?
-You're not a stalker or anything, right?
-Well, I probably wouldn't say if I were, but no.
-You can't be too careful. I've been stalked. I've been told I'm highly stalkable. I don't need that.
-I'm not a stalker.
-You know Wilmont?
-Yeah.
-Look, I'm very sorry I came off sort of nutso. I'm not really.
-So you like bookstores, huh?
-I like to read.
-Me too. It is Rain Dogs, by the way.
-Yeah? I can't remember that album very well. I remember liking it. But --
-The song's 9th and Hennepin. I spent most of the train ride trying to remember. "Till you're full of rag water and bitters and blue ruin/And you spill out/Over the side to anyone who'll listen." Remember?
-Sort of, um...
-Remember? "And you take on the dreams of the ones who have slept there/And I'm lost in the window/I hide on the stairway/I hang in the curtain/I sleep in your hat..." Oh, shit. I'm so stupid. Sorry.
-What?
-Thanks very much. That was very nice of you.
-Well, I wouldn't want to be --
-Take care.
-Hey, do you want to have a drink? I have lots of drinks. And I could --
-Um --
-You like that?
-Very much.
-Thanks. That was good, that crow sound.
-Do you believe in that stuff? Reincarnation?
-I don't know.
-Me neither. Oh, there's an inscription on the back. The way a crow/Shook down on me/The dust of snow/From a hemlock tree/Has given my heart/A change of mood/And saved some part/Of a day I rued.
-Frost?
-Yeah. I'm not, like, a Robert Frost lover by any stretch. His stuff seems strictly grade school to me. But this made me cry for some reason. Maybe because it is grade school. Y'know?
-It's pretty.
-I miss grade school. I don't know why I'm calling it grade school all of a sudden. When I went we called it elementary school. But I like grade school better. Sounds like something someone from the forties would call it. I'd like to be from then. Everyone wore hats. Anyway, cheers!
-God, that feels so fucking good. Take yours off.
-I'm fine.
-Ready for another?
-What do you want to hear?
-You pick it.
-You just say. I'm not really --
-Well, I should probably get going.
-No, stay. Just for a little while. Refill?
-No. I --
-Thanks.
-Y'know, I'm sort of psychic.
-Yeah?
-Well, I go to a psychic and she's always telling me I'm psychic. She should know. Do you believe in that stuff?
-I don't know.
-Me neither. But sometimes I have premonitions, so, I don't know. Maybe that's just coincidence. Right? Y'know, you think something and then it happens, or you think a word and then someone says it? Y'know?
-Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to know.
-Exactly. Exactly! That's exactly my feeling about it. It's hard to know. Like, okay, but how many times do I think something and it doesn't happen? That's what you're saying, right? You forget about those times. Right?
-Yeah, I guess.
-But I think I am. I like to think I am.
-It's helpful to think there's some order to things. You're kind of closed mouthed, aren't you?
-Sorry. My life isn't that interesting. I go to work. I go home. I don't know what to say.
-Oh. Does that make you sad? Or anxious? I'm always anxious thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, y'know? Taking advantage of every possibility? Just making sure that I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.
-You're really nice. I'm sorry I yelled at you before about it. God, I'm an idiot.
-I do have a tendency to use that word too much.
-I like you. That's the thing about my psychic thing. I think that's my greatest psychic power, that I get a sense about people. My problem is I never trust it. But I get it. And with you I get that you're a really good guy.
-Thanks.
-And, anyway, you sell yourself short. I can tell. There's a lot of stuff going on in your brain. I can tell. My goal... can I tell you my goal?
-Yeah.
-What's the goal, Joel? My goal, Joel, is to just let it flow through me? Do you know what I mean? It's like, there's all these emotions and ideas and they come quick and they change and they leave and they come back in a different form and I think we're all taught we should be consistent. Y'know? You love someone -- that's it.
-Yeah. I think so. It's hard to --
-Like I wanted to talk to you. I didn't need any more reason to do it. Who knows what bigger cosmic reason might exist?
-Yeah.
-You're very nice. God, I have to stop saying that. You're nervous around me, huh?
-No.
-I'm nervous. You don't need to be nervous around me, though. I like you. Do you think I'm repulsively fat?
-No, not at all.
-Well, for the last week, anyway! He's kind of a kid. Kind of a goofball, but he's really stuck on me, which is flattering. Who wouldn't like that? And he's, like, a dope, but he says these smart and moving things sometimes, out of nowhere, that just break my heart. He's the one who gave me that crow photograph.
-Oh, yeah.
-That made me cry. But, anyway, we went up to Boston, because I had this urge to lie on my back on the Charles River. It gets frozen this time of year.
-That's scary sounding.
-Exactly! I used to do it in college and I had this urge to go do it again, so I got Patrick and we drove all night to get there and he was sweet and said nice things to me, but I was really disappointment to be there with him. Y'know? And that's where psychic stuff comes in. Like, it just isn't right with
-I think so.
-I don't believe in that soulmate crap anymore, but... he says so many great things. We like the same writers. This writer Stephen Dixon he turned me on to. And he's cute. It's fucked up. Joel, you should come up to the Charles with me sometime.
-Okay.
-I'll pack a picnic -- a night picnic -- night picnics are different -- and --
-Sounds good. But right now I should go.
-You should stay.
-I have to get up early in the morning tomorrow, so...
-I would like you to call me. Would you do that? I would like that.
-So, I enjoyed meeting you.
-You'll call me, right?
-Yeah.
-When?
-Tomorrow?
-Tonight. Just to test out the phone lines and all.
-How could she have done this to me? How could anyone do this to anyone?
-Yo ho ho!
-I can't believe you wrecked my car. You're driving drunk. It's pathetic.
-...a little. I was a little tipsy. Don't call me pathetic.
-I don't know, maybe you did kill somebody.
-A wino? Jesus, Are you from the fifties? A wino! Face it, Joel. You're freaked out because I was out late without you, and in your little wormy brain, you're trying to figure out, did she fuck someone tonight?
-Let me drive you home.
-Fuck you, Joel. Faggot.
-How can you watch this crap?
-Where are you going?
-Oh shit. I remember this. Want to go?
-I want to have a baby.
-Let's talk about it later.
-No. I want to have a baby. I have to have a baby.
-I don't think we're ready.
-You're not ready.
-What?!
-I don't want to talk about this here.
-You can't fucking say something like that and say you don't want to talk about it!
-Clem, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have --
-Oh, thank God. It's going.
-So, um --
-You're drunk.
-You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything. Every damn embarrassing thing. You don't trust me.
-No, it isn't that.
-I want to know you.
-I just don't have anything very interesting about my life.
-More?
-Joely...
-Yeah, Tangerine?
-Do you know The Velveteen Rabbit?
-No.
-Such a beautiful view.
-Yes indeed. Fuck! They're erasing you, Clem!
-Oh?
-I hired them to. We're in my brain. But I want it to stop, before I wake up and don't know you anymore.
-Wow. Um, well... can't you just force yourself awake?
-What if you hide me?
-What do you mean?
-I want my mommy. I don't want to lose you, Clem.
-I'm right here.
-I'm scared. I want my mommy. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose...
-You know, we're okay. They're not finding us. You'll remember me in the morning. And you'll come to me and tell me about us and we'll start over.
-You remember what happened next?
-I came over to the bed and you smelled so good, like you just woke up, slightly sweaty. And I climbed on the bed with you and you said something like --
-There's this guy!
-What?
-There's this guy. I heard him talking in my apartment. He's one of the eraser guys. And he fell for you when they were erasing you, so he introduced himself the next day as if he were a stranger and now you're dating him.
-Really? Is he cute?
-He stole a pair of your panties while you were being erased!
-But can't you see... I love you, Antoine.
-Don't call me Antoine. My name is Wally.
-They found us before. The plan didn't work. I don't know what to do now.
-Look at you, cutey! What are we doing?
-Joel!
-Happy Birthday.
-I scoured the city for it.
-I'm done, Clem. I'm just going to ride it out. Hiding is clearly not working.
-Yeah.
-I want to enjoy my little time left with you.
-This is our first "date" date.
-Do you remember what we talked about?
-Naomi, I guess.
-Yeah.
-What was I wearing?
-God, I should know. Your hair was red. I remember it matched the wallpaper.
-Egad, were you horrified?
-Right. Something black though.
-I'll buy that. Black's always good.
-We did talk about Naomi.
-I said: Are you sure? You seem unsure.
-I'm sure, I said.
-But you weren't. I could tell.
-I thought I was foolish. I thought I'd mistaken infatuation for love. You said:
-So what. Infatuation is good, too.
-I dropped you off after. You said --
-Come up and see me... now.
-It's very late.
-I told her today I need to end it.
-Is that what you want?
-I didn't think you'd show your face around me again. I figured you were humiliated. You did run away, after all.
-Sorry to track you down like this. I'm not a stalker. But I needed to see you.
-Yeah?
-I'd like to... take you out or something.
-Well, you're married.
-Not yet. Not married.
-Look, man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high maintenance. So I'm not going to tiptoe around your marriage or whatever it is you got going there. If you want to be with me, you're with me.
-Okay.
-Joel, I'm not a concept. I want you to just keep that in your head. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked-up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.
-I remember that speech really well.
-I had you pegged, didn't I?
-You had the whole human race pegged.
-Probably.
-I still thought you were going to save me. Even after that.
-I know.
-It would be different, if we could just give it another go around.
-Hi there.
-You said...
-I saw you sitting over here. By yourself. I thought, thank God, someone normal, who doesn't know how interact at these things either.
-Yeah. I don't ever know what to say.
-I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that. I mean, I don't mean I'm happy you're uncomfortable, but, yknow... I'm such a loser. Every time I come to a party I tell myself I'm going to be different and it's always exactly the same and then I hate myself after for being such a clod.
-You know what I did.
-Yeah, I know. I'm fishing.
-I'm Clementine. Can I borrow a piece of your chicken?
-Oh God, how horrid.
-You mean, like... Oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin', Clementine... ? Huckleberry Hound? That sort of thing?
-Yeah, like that.
-This is it, Joel. It's gonna be gone soon.
-I know.
-What do we do?
-No, I stopped. I didn't want to feel like I was being artificially modulated.
-I know what you mean. That's why I stopped.
-But my sleeping is really fucked up.
-I don't think I've slept in a year.
-You should try Xanax. I mean, it's a chemical and all, but it works... and it works just having it around, knowing that it's there. Like insurance.
-yeah?
-I'll give you a couple. See what you think.
-Okay.
-Have you ever read any Anna Akhmatova?
-I love her.
-Really? Me, too! I don't meet people who even know who she is and I work in a book store.
-I think she's great.
-Me too. There's this poem --
-Did this conversation come before or after we saw the house?
-I think, before.
-Seems too coincidental that way.
-Do you know her poem that starts "Seaside gusts of wind,/And a house in which we don't live...
-Yeah, yeah. It goes "Perhaps there is someone in this world to whom I could send all these lines"?
-I wish we did. You married?
-Um, no.
-I do sort of live with somebody though.
-Male or female?
-Female.
-Cool.
-What are you doing?
-C'mon, man. The water's fine. Nobody's coming here tonight, believe me. This place is closed up. Electricity's off.
-I hesitated for what seemed like forever.
-I knew.
-I knew by your nervousness that Naomi wasn't the kind of girl who forced you to criminally trespass.
-It's dark.
-Yeah. What's your girlfriend's name?
-Ah-ha! Now I can look for candles, matches, and the liquor cabinet.
-I think we should go.
-So go.
-I did. I walked out the door. I felt like I was a scared little kid. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation. You said, "so go" with such disdain.
-What if you stay this time?
-I walked out the door. There's no more memory.
-Bye, Joel.
-So you'll call me, right?
-Yeah.
-When?
-Tomorrow?
-Tonight. Just to test out the phone lines.
-Don't worry. It's really solid this time of year.
-I don't know. What if it breaks?
-I think I should go back.
-Listen, did you want to make love?
-Make love?
-Have sex. Y'know --
-Oh, um...
-Because I just am not drunk enough or stoned enough to make that happen right now.
-That's okay. I --
-I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that. This seems like the perfect romantic exotic place to do it and --
-Hey, Joel --
--- and I'm just too nervous around you right now.
-I'm nervous, too.
-Yeah? I wouldn't have thought that.
-Well, you obviously don't know me.
-Says you were closed off, non communicative, never told me what you were feeling.
-Says you were a bully...
-A bully? Moi?
-That's what it says. You drank too much, you picked on me for being passive and timid.
-Well, sounds like me. Sorry, man. Says you were jealous and suspicious.
-Says you would sometimes disappear all night, then brag to me about your sexual conquests.
-Did I use the term "sexual conquests" or is that your way of putting it.
-I don't know.
-Doesn't sound like me.
-Says you were a slob, leaving trails of panties and dirty socks in your wake.
-Says you were constantly calling me a slob. It's sexy that we were like a married couple, griping and overly-familiar and bored. Don't you think?
-I sort of do. But I only see it as a fantasy version of reality. Cleaned up enough to be erotic.
-You're still excited by my irreverence. You haven't yet started to think of it as my "gratuitous need to shock."
-I can't stop thinking about you.
-Yay. Meet me after work by the old mill.
-What old mill? Is that somewhere we --
-What took you so long?
-I just walked in.
-Hmmm. Do you miss me?
-Oddly enough, I do.
-Ha Ha! You said, I do. I guess that means we're married.
-I guess so.
-Yeah?
-Did you send this? Is it a joke?
-I probably got the same thing as you.
-I mean, I haven't even told anyone I've met you. Who would even know to do this?
-Maybe it's true then. It's my voice on the tape.
-It's true.
-Look, I have to go. I have to think.
-Hi, it's Joel.
-Hey, lover. Whatcha doing?
-I'm just, y'know, passing the time best I can till I can see you.
-God, I can't believe I ever hated you.
-You must have been crazy.
-Guess what I'm wearing.
-I don't know. Panties and --
-Your dried cum.
-Hi, Naomi, it's Joel.
-Hi.
-How's it going?
-Good. I called you at work today. They said you were home sick.
-I know. I had to take the day to think.
-Yeah, I tried you at home. Did you get my message?
-I just got in.
-That's me.
-It was snowing.
-The driver waved. So casual, friendly.
-I might be making a mistake.
-Maybe I'm making a mistake. Maybe I just need to learn to live with this. First of all, I'll get over it. Secondly, it happened. Those who do not remember history are condemned to repeat it. Who said that? Churchill? I'm not sure. But I don't care. She did it to me. I have to rid myself of this. Fuck her.
-Pink. There was a number on it. I remember. AL 1718? I have to follow through with this. I have no choice.
-It's them.
-I should maybe talk to you.
-I love you and if you knew that... if I told you what happened... I'll explain everything, what we meant to each other. I'll tell you everything about our time together. You'll know everything again and...
-Clementine.
-Gotta get home. How could she do this to me? How could she not care about what we meant to each other. What a fuck! What a fucking monster she is!
-So then she just stops calling.
-I wasn't going to call her. Not after the way she was.
-Right! She called me an old lady here, too! And I remember, I said...
-How's the chicken?
-She's so sexy.
-I can't. I have to go home. I'll do it later.
-Naomi.
-Okay. I wish you could come.
-Your back to me. In that orange sweatshirt I would come to know so well and even hate eventually. At the time I thought, how cool, an orange sweatshirt.
-I remember being drawn to you even then. I thought, I love this woman because she's alone down there looking out at the black ocean.
-So you're still on the Zoloft?
-Clementine.
-I really should go. I really need to catch my ride.
-We'll start with your most recent memories and go backwards -- There is an emotional core to each of our memories -- As we eradicate this core, it starts its degradation process -- By the time you wake up in the morning, all memories we've targeted will have withered and disappeared. Like a dream upon waking.
-Is there any sort of risk of brain damage?
-I'm sorry you saw one of our notification cards. You never should have.
-Well... I did.
-We can help you through this. Why don't you start now by telling me everything you can remember about your relationship with Clementine.
-We can help you through this. Why don't you start now by telling me everything you can remember about --
-You have to stop this!
-What? What do you mean?
-I'm trapped in my head and everything I love is being erased! Stop it now!
-Yours?
-Naomi, I really value our relationship. I hope it's possible for us to stay in touch.
-So what's going on, Joel?
-I don't know, I've just been thinking, maybe we're not happy with each other.
-What?
-Y'know, we've been, I don't know, sort of, unhappy with each other and --
-Don't say "we" when you mean "you."
-I think maybe, we're both so used to operating at this level that -- How can one person be unhappy? If one person is unhappy, both have to be... by definition.
-Bullshit. Who is it? You met someone.
-No. I just need some space, maybe.
-The thing is, Joel, whatever it is you think you have with this chick, once the thrill wears off, you're just going to be Joel with the same fucking problems.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-How was it?
-You didn't miss much. Rob and Carrie say hello.
-Hi, Rob and Carrie.
-Yeah. Come to bed. I'm cold.
-So you don't mind?
-Say hi to Rob and Carrie. Have some fun!
-I hope you get your work done.
-So... you haven't been involved with anyone in all this time?
-It's been a pretty lonely couple of years.
-I'm sorry.
-Well, it was my fault -- the break- up. I'm sorry.
-Oh, sweetie. It really does cut both ways. We were taking each other for granted and --
-I miss you.
-Miss you, too. I have been seeing someone for a little while.
-Oh! Great. That's great!
-A religion instructor at Columbia. A good guy. He's a good guy.
-I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have --
-So you think the dissertation will get published?
-Okay, Joel. I suppose you're right.
-I had a good time last night. I really did.
-So I'm going to get some sleep. I'm glad you're okay.
-We'll speak soon.
-Oh, hey, Patrick.
-Oh, Patrick, you didn't want any, did you?
-I love quotes. So did Winston Churchill. He actually has a quotation in Bartlett's about Bartlett's. Isn't that trippy?
-Yeah. Cool.
-"The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts."
-Very cool. Trippy.
-Definitely!
-Boo.
-Stan... c'mon...
-Sorry. I just --
-It's just... y'know... I mean...
-I know. Anyway --
-See you later, alligator.
-'kay.
-Hey, if you're ordering lunch for Mierzwiak, would you --
-It's freezing out.
-You found us okay?
-Yeah. Poor guy. Have anything to drink?
-We haven't checked.
-Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil. Found it my Bartletts.
-That's a good one.
-Yeah, I can't wait to tell Howard! It seems really appropriate.
-Yup.
-Don't you think Howard's like that? Smart? Important?
-Let him go, Stan. I can help.
-It's amazing, isn't it? Such a gift Howard gave the world.
-Yeah.
-To let people begin again. It's beautiful. You look at a baby and it's so fresh, so clean, so free. And adults... they're like this messy tangle of anger and phobias and sadness... hopelessness. And Howard just makes it go away.
-It's stopped.
-What?
-It's not erasing. He's off the screen.
-Where?
-I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do! Crap. Crap...
-Well, what should we do?
-I don't know! I just said that!
-Sor-ry We have to do something. He can't wake up half done.
-No way. I can handle this.
-He's coming?
-You better go.
-Hey.
-Do you swear you didn't know?
-I swear.
-And you never even suspected? Never saw us behaving in any unusual way together?
-It was here. At his car. I was coming back from a job and spotted you together. You seemed caught. I waved. You giggled.
-How did I look?
-And after that?
-I really like you, Mary. You know that.
-Do you remember anything else? What I was wearing? Was I standing close to him? Was I leaning against his car like I owned it? How did he look at me when I giggled? Tell me everything.
-You were in red. That red sweater with the little flowers, I think. You were leaning against his car. He looked a little like a kid. Kind of goofy and wide-eyed. I'd never seen him look like that before. Happy. You looked beautiful. You looked in love.
-Oh.
-Hi.
-What do you want, Stan?
-What's this?
-Nothing.
-I know what it is.
-Then why did you ask me?
-I don't know. I just -- there are a lot of really confused people showing up at the office.
-Mary, people come to him voluntarily.
-I won't allow it. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. What do you think of that? That's from my quote book.
-The office is filled with people who want their memories re-erased.
-Remember the Alamo! Remember the Alamo!
-Howard, your one o'clock.
-Mary...
-Yes?
-Order me a pastrami for after?
-Cole slaw, ice tea?
-Thanks.
-Okay, we're back in.
-That was beautiful to watch, Howard. Like a surgeon or a concert pianist.
-Do you like quotes, Howard?
-How do you mean?
-Oh, um, like famous quotes. I find reading them inspirational to me. And in my reading I've come across some I thought you might like, too.
-Okay, um, there's one that goes "Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders."
-Is that Nietzsche?
-Yeah, yeah it is, Howard. And here I was thinking I could tell you something you didn't know.
-There's another one I like, I read. It's by Pope Alexander.
-Alexander Pope?
-Yes, shit. Oops, sorry! Sorry. It's just I told myself I wasn't going to say Pope Alexander and sound like a dope and then I go ahead and do it. Like I psyched myself out.
-It's no big deal.
-That's lovely.
-Really? I thought it was appropriate maybe. That's all. I really admire the work that you do. I know it's not proper to be so familiar but I guess since we're outside the workplace I feel a certain liberty to --
-It's fine, Mary. I'm happy to hear it.
-I've loved you for a very long time. I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that.
-I've got a wife, Mary. Kids. You know that.
-We can't do this.
-What, Howard?
-Thanks. So... do we talk about this... or what?
-I don't know what I'm supposed say, Mary. I want to do the right thing here.
-Do you love me? Did you love me? Something. I listened to my tape. I can't believe I've been sitting right in front of it for a year. It's like listening to someone else's story. I mean, I hear myself talking about having sex with you and I can't even imagine you naked. I can't even say "naked" to you!
-I have a family, Mary.
-You made me have an abortion.
-It was a mutual decision.
-You made me have you erased! I loved you. I love you! How could you --
-Stan? What's going on?
-The guy we're doing? He's disappeared from the map. I can't find him anywhere.
-Okay, what happened right before he disappeared?
-I was away from the monitor for a second. I had it on automatic. I had to go pee.
-Well, where was Patrick?
-He went home sick.
-Jesus. All right, what's the address.
-Ah, your journal. This will be invaluable.
-Mary. What are you doing here?
-I tried that already.
-Did you try going through C-Gate?
-You get some sleep, Howard. I'll take it from here.
-Howard, they've disappeared again.
-I'll go out for a smoke. If no one minds.
-So, I've got to drop the van off.
-She should not have done this, Stan. As mad as she was... as justifiably --
-I don't know what you're talking about, Howard.
-Mary has stolen our files and is sending them back to people.
-Oh, hi.
-Hi, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd see --
-I think he's in a conference. Unfortunately. I'm really sorry.
-Would you just try him? You never know. As long as I'm here. You never know.
-This book -- It's essential that people read it because -- -- It's the truth. And only I know it.
-The voltage looks fine.
-Does that help?
-It's an apartment.
-Not a dump, then, but kind of plain. Uninspired. And there's a stale smell. Sort of stuffy. I don't know. Stuffy.
-Patrick, let's just get through this. We have a long night ahead of us.
-Yeah?
-Just wanted to let you know.
-I like Mary. I like when she comes to visit. I just don't think she likes me.
-She likes you okay.
-I wonder if I should invite my girlfriend over, too. I have a girlfriend now.
-You can if you want.
-Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?
-This one's history. Moving on...
-The thing is... my situation is a little weird. My girlfriend situation.
-I gotta tell you something. I kind of fell in love with her last night.
-She was unconscious, Patrick.
-She was beautiful. So sweet and funky and voluptuous. I kind of stole a pair of her panties, is what.
-Mary hates me. I've never been popular with the ladies.
-Maybe if you stopped stealing their panties.
-What's your bartlett's?
-Hold on. Let me ask my friend. Stan, can I leave for a little while? My girlfriend is very --
-Patrick, we're in the middle of --
-I can handle it. He's pretty much on auto-pilot anyway.
-I'm a friend of Bonanza Jellybean's.
-I know who you are.
-Oh? Well, there's been some trouble on the ranch. I came up here to get out of the way. It's so dark now I doubt if I could find my way back down. If you could help...
-But I don't know how to polka.
-What was that?
-Clockworks.
-The Clockworks is one reason that I am here on Siwash Ridge. I accepted the invitation to be initiated as a shaman by an aged Siwash chief who was the principle outside confederate of the Clock People.
-Siwash, huh?
-But unlike the clockworks of the Clock People, my ticks more accurately echo the ticks of the universe.... ......ha ha ho ho and hee hee.
-During the Second World War I busted out of Tule Lake detention camp; as a Japanese-American, I had been put there and watched over. I found refuge with the Clock People, who discovered me in a snow bank, near dead, I had been climbing across the Sierra Nevada mountains.
-Then if you are Japanese, then why are you called the Chink?
-What do you believe in then?
-Is everything getting worse?
-Yes, everything is getting worse. But everything is also getting better.
-I want to go back to the Clock People. I kind of miss those fool redskins and wonder what they're up to. What's happened to Jelly?
-She had a one way-ticket to Kansas City.
-But that's an old story now...... I can't believe that you would leave the Butte.
-Well, if the Clock People give you any inside information on the end of the world, drop us a postcard.
-Suppose that you bear five or six children with your characteristics. All in Siwash Cave. In a postcatastrophe world, your offspring would of necessity intermarry, forming in time a tribe. A tribe every member of which had giant thumbs. A tribe of Big Thumbs would relate to the environment in very special ways. It could not use weapons or produce sophisticated tools. It would
-How am I going to be the progenitor of a tribe when I'm living on an isolated ridgetop with Delores?
-Where do you live, Miss Hankshaw?
-I'm staying with the Countess.
-I know, but where do you reside when you aren't visiting New York?
-I don't.
-You don't?
-A traveler, eh?
-Where are the others?
-Welcome, podner. By God, it's great to have you here. It's an honor. Sorry I took so long getting to you, but we've had a mess of hard work these past few days -- and a heap of planning to do.
-Er, you seem to know who I am, and maybe even what I am. Thanks for the breakfast.
-No, I'm afraid that part isn't true. Jack was in awe of me and tracked me down. We spent a night talking and hugging in a corn field, but he was hardly my lover. Besides, I always travel alone.
-Tell me about it.
-About...
-About being a cowgirl. What's it all about? When you say the word you make it sound like it was painted in radium on the side of a pearl.
-You're political, then?
-Did that last comment sound too profound to be coming outta my mouth? It's not original. It's something I picked up from the Chink.
-Really? The Chink, huh? I've gathered that you sometimes speak with him. What else have you learned from the Chink?
-......Delores zonks out on peyote at least once a week, but so far her Third Vision hasn't happened. Niwetükame, the Mother Goddess has not gotten back in touch with her. Meanwhile she and Debbie are rivaling each other like a couple of crosstown high schools. Tension. Cowgirl tension! What a drag.
-What is Debbie's position?
-Debbie says that if women are to take charge again, they must do it in the feminine way; they mustn't resort to aggressive and violent masculine methods. She says it is up to women to show themselves better than men, to love men, set good examples for them and guide them tenderly toward the New Age. She's a real dreamer, that Debbie-dear.
-You don't agree with Debbie, then?
-That's Jellybean!
-Looks like every time we get together things are in a mess.
-So be it. It looks serious this time, though. All these guns... are you actually prepared to kill and die for whooping cranes?
-Hell no, the cranes are wonderful, okay, but I'm not in this for whooping cranes. I'm in it for cowgirls. If we cowgirls give in to authority on this crane issue, then cowgirls become just another compromise. I want a finer fate than that -- for me and for every other cowgirl. Better no cowgirls at all than cowgirls compromised.
-No, I guess not.
-'Drugged' is a stupid word.
-Every time I tell you that I love you, you flinch. But that's your problem.
-Extraordinary!
-She's obviously that. Jesus! Which would you rather have, a million dollars or one of Sissy's thumbs full of pennies?
-Oh, you! I'm not talking about her hands. They're difficult to ignore, I confess, but I'm speaking of her whole being. Her whole being is extraordinary. The way she talks, for example. She's so articulate.
-It's high time you realized, honey babe, that a woman doesn't have to give the best years of her life to Radcliffe or Smith in order to speak the English language.
-Countess. I'm really in a dither. She's turned my head.
-Ninety degrees to the left, I hope. How does she feel about you?
-I think she's disappointed that I'm not more, ah, sort of atavistic. She's got some naive, sentimental notions about Indians. I'm sure she liked me, though; but.... then she left town.
-How does she like what in bed?
-What do you think?
-Well.... er...
-Shit O dear, Julian. Do you mean to tell me you didn't get it on?
-Oh, we didn't get it all the way on.
-Whose fault was that?
-I suppose it was mine. Yes, it definitely was my fault.
-What do they do to you boys in those Ivy league schools, anyway? Strap you down and pump the Nature out of you? They can even press the last drop of Nature out of a Mohawk buck. Why, send a shaman or cannibal to Yale for four years and all he'd be fit for would be a desk in the military-industrial complex and a
-If we Ivy Leaguers aren't earthy enough to suit you hillbillies, at least we don't go around indulging in racist terms such as 'Chink.' Next thing I know, you'll be calling me 'chief.'
-Chink's the guy's name, for Christ's sake.
-What guy?
-I'm cold.
-Here. I'll turn down the air conditioner.
-What are you doing?
-Getting dressed. I've got to go.
-But I don't want you to leave. Please stay. We can go to dinner. I owe you a dinner. And tonight... we can... really make love.
-I have to go, Julian.
-Why? Why do you have to go?
-Going north?
-Thanks.
-Are you in show business?
-I was a successful model once.
-For magazines?
-I was the Yoni Yum feminine-hygiene Dew girl from 1965 to 1970, but got laid off.
-So now you're bummin' around?
-Yep.
-Hitchhiking?
-I'm the best.
-You're the best?
-When I was younger, I hitchhiked one hundred and twenty-seven hours without stopping, without food or sleep, crossed the continent twice in six days, cooled my thumbs in both oceans and caught rides after midnight on unlighted highways.
-Whooee!
-To my own special Sissy. Cheers! And welcome. So my letter brought ya flying, eh? Where were you? Salt Lake City? La Conner? Well, I may have a little surprise for you. But first, tell me about yourself. It's been six months, hasn't it? In some circles that's half a year. How are you?
-Tired...
-That's the very first time in the eons that I've known you that I've ever heard you complain. And now you're tired, poor darling.
-A born freak can only go uphill.
-Freak, schmeek. Most of us are freaks in one way or another. Try being born a male Russian countess into a white middle class Baptist family in Mississippi and you'll see what I mean.
-I've always been proud of the way nature singled me out. It's the people who have been deformed by society I feel sorry for. I've been steady moving for eleven years and some months. Maybe I should rest up for a spell, I'm not as young as I used to be.
-Shit O goodness, you won't be thirty for another year, and you're more beautiful than ever.
-You were the Yoni Yum girl from, let's see, from nineteen sixty-eight through nineteen seventy. You've always smelled so nice. Like a little sister. The irony has just killed me. You, the Dew Girl, one of the few girls who doesn't need Dew. I loath the stink of females! They are so sweet the way God made them, then they start fooling around with
-Bonanza Jellybean?
-She's a young thing who works on my ranch. Real name is Sally Jones or something wooden like that. She's cute as a hot fudge taco, and, of course, it takes verve to change one's name so charmingly. But she stinks like a slut just the same.
-Your ranch?
-Sissy, Sissy, blushing bride, you can desist from wearing paths in those forgotten highways. The Countess has arranged a job for you. And what a job...
-A job for me?
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-Sure, after a fashion.
-Let me try.
-You? Why I'm sure it would pale in comparison to the actual experience.
-So how was it?
-That... was... no... simulation.
-I know. I'm sorry...
-I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should ever see.
-Really? For most people it's a rather pleasant experience. What exactly did you...
-This portal is mine and must be sealed up forever. For the love of God.
-With all respect, sir, I discovered that portal. Its my livelihood.
-Welcome to LesterCorp. May we meet your filing needs?
-No, uh, my name is Craig Schwartz. I have an interview with Mr. Lester.
-Please have a seat, Mr. Juarez...
-Schwartz.
-Pardon?
-Schwartz.
-I'm sorry, I'm afraid I have no idea what you're saying right now.
-My name is Schwartz.
-Money, Miss Warts?
-Mr. Juarez?
-Yes?
-Yex?
-I said "yes."
-You're not like the other boys we've had here. Granted, I can't understand what you're saying either, but your soft palette resonates tremendously well and you never ever constrict your epiglottis.
-I am a trained performer.
-Floris, you're very nice, but I'm afraid I’m in love with somebody else.
-Come in, Mr. Juarez. I'd stand, but, well, you know.
-Security.
-No, it's okay, sir. Just a mixup with your secretary.
-She's not my secretary. She's what they call an executive liaison, and I'm not banging her, if that's what you’re implying.
-Not at all, Dr. Lester. I simply misspoke.
-Tell me, Dr. Schwartz, what do you feel you can bring to LesterCorp?
-Well, sir, I'm an excellent filer.
-You think so, eh? Which comes first, L or... Glooph?
-Glooph is not a letter, sir.
-You don't have a speech impediment, Dr. Lester.
-Flattery will get you everywhere, my boy. But I'm afraid I have to trust Floris on this one. You see, she has her doctorate in speech impedimentology from Case Western. Perhaps you've read her memoirs, "I can't understand a word any of you are saying."
-No.
-Pity, it tells it like it is. That's why the eastern, read Jewish, publishing establishment won't touch it. That's a quote from the book jacket. George Will, I think. I apologize if you can't understan a word I'm saying, Dr. Schwartz.
-No. I understand perfectly.
-Thank you for being kind enough to lie. You see, I've been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech. You're hired. Any questions?
-Just one. Why is this floor so short?
-Don't toy with Floris, Schwartz. Why, if I were eighty years younger, I'd box your ears.
-I wasn't toying with her, sir. I was just... How old are you?
-One hundred and five. Carrot juice. Lot's of it. I swear, it's almost not worth it. I piss orange. Oh, and I, have to piss sitting down... like a godamn girly... every fifteen minutes. But nobody wants to die, Schwartz.
-I'll keep that in mind, sir.
-No sir-e-bob, I don't die. But what I do is get older, wrinkled like a former plum that's become the wrinkled prune you see before you. Oh, to be a young man again, maybe then Floris would care for me.
-The elderly have so much to offer, sir. They are our link with history.
-I don't want to be your godamn link, damn you. I want to feel Floris' naked thighs against my own. I want to know passion. I want my body to inspire lust in that beautiful, complex woman. I want her to shiver in a spasm of ecstasy when I penetrate her. Oh, God, the agony of the flesh, Schwartz.
-Dr. Lester, while I am flattered that you share your feelings with me, I believe perhaps the workplace is not the most suitable environment for this type of discussion.
-Imagine a room full of women. Nubile, blonde, wet with desire, Schwartz. A harem, if you will. Me in leather. A harness, if you like. I am the object of this desire, and all eyes are on me as I speak. “Ladies,” I begin. “I am the love god, Eros. I intoxicate you. My spunk is to you manna from heaven...
-Dr. Lester, it's been really fascinating, but I'm afraid I have to get home to my wife now.
-Wife, huh? I'd love to meet her, Craig.
-Yessir.
-Shall we say dinner on Friday. Just the two of us? You can come too if you like, Schwartz.
-Dr. Lester. . .
-Ah, Craig. Just the fellow I wanted to see. Juicer! Easy as pie. Just keep your fingers clear of the blade, and never, never use it while bathing in a tub full of water.
-Dr. Lester, I have a question. I was in that vacant office down the hall and I stumbled upon a little door and....
-Ah. yes, the little door. There is a short film on the little door in the orientation room in exactly two minutes. If you hurry, you'll just make it.
-Dr. Lester...
-More beet-spinach juice, my friend?
-No thank you sir. It's delicious, though. I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to work at LesterCorp, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to tender my resignation effectively immediately.
-I see. Are you unhappy at our little company?
-No sir, not at all. It's just that I'm going to open my own business and...
-And what sort of business will this be? If you don't mind my asking.
-Uh, import-export. Olive oil. Right on 7 1/2 actually. In the vacant office. So we'll still be seeing each other.
-You're making a big mistake, Schwartz. Ma'am
-Dr. Lester, I don't know what you're talking about.
-There are rules, boy, procedures, etiquette. This is not a toy. I've been waiting seventy years to utilize this room, grooming myself, quietly setting the stage, performing ablutions, paying tribute, seeing all his motion pictures again and again. Worshipping, Schwartz, worshipping properly.
-You're insane.
-Moving story.
-Yes. Unfortunately it's bullshit. The real story of 7 1/2 is so evil that it could never be revealed to Americans raised on sitcoms and happy news anchors.
-Is that true?
-Well, truth is for suckers, isn't it?.
-Listen. I'm Craig Schwartz, just starting out at LesterCorp.
-How dreary - to be - Somebody / How public - like a Frog / To tell one's name - the livelong June / To an admiring Bog!
-Emily Dickinson.
-Yes, well...
-You know, I've been thinking about what you said yesterday, about the orientation film being a cover-up. I think you're on to something.
-And fifty other lines to get into a girl's pants.
-No, really.
-What?
-I just wanted to say “hi.” Did you know I still don't know your name or where you work?
-Yeah.
-How about this, if I can guess your first name within three tries, you have to come out for a drink with me tonight.
-Why not?
-Great. Buuuhhppaahhhhnnn. . . . . Muhhhahhhhh. . . . . ahhhnnnaaa. . nollltuuukkkaaaaralllll. . . tashabararassssssuuuuusaaaaaaa. . . nnnnnnnaaaaaannnnnnnnncccccceeeeeee Mwaaaaaa. . . . .Mahhhhhkkkkk. . . sssseeeeeen. Maxine?
-Who told you?
-I'm right?
-Who told you?
-That's incredible! Nobody told me! I swear! It's kismet. Maxine! It's a beautiful name. There's a psychic connection. Don't you see? It was meant to be! Maxine! Maxine! Maxine! I will shout it from the rooftops!
-Somebody told you.
-Oh, Maxine, nobody told me. Maxine, Maxine. It just came out of me like a song, Maxine. A beautiful crazy, song, Maxine. Maxine. Maxine!
-I am dubious, but I don't welsh. Meet me at The Stuck Pig. Seven o'clock. You're late, I walk. So help me, if I find out you cheated.
-Made it. Maxine. Maxine, Maxine, Maxine.
-Just.
-Buy you a drink, Maxine?
-You married?
-What'll you have?
-The usual, Barry.
-I like you. I don't know what it is exactly.
-My tits?
-No, no, it's your energy or your attitude or the way you carry yourself or...
-That's the usual?
-I’m not a homosexual. I just like women for more than their bodies. I guess you could say I'm the new American male.
-You're a fag or a liar.
-I mean, I am really attracted to you.
-No, wait! I like your tits. I love your tits. I want to fuck you.
-So, tell me about yourself. If you can get your mind out of the gutter long enough, dog-boy.
-Hi.
-You're not someone I could get interested in. Craig. You play with dolls.
-Puppets. Maxine. It's the idea of being inside someone else, feeling what they feel, seeing what they see...
-Yikes.
-It's just, and I've never done this before, Maxine, but it's just that I feel something for you. I've never felt this before for anyone, not even my wife. My future is with you, Maxine.
-Don't you want to know what happened to me?
-This is important!
-There's a tiny door in that empty office. It's a portal, Maxine. It takes you inside John Malkovich. You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes, then, after about fifteen minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of The New Jersey Turnpike.
-Sounds delightful. Who the fuck is John Malkovich?
-He's an actor. One of the great American actors of the 20th century.
-What's he been in?
-Lots of things. He's very well respected. That jewel thief movie, for example. The point is that this is a very odd thing, supernatural, for lack of a better word. It raises all sorts of philosophical questions about the nature of self, about the existence of the soul. Am I me? Is Malkovich Malkovich? Was the Buddha right, is duality an illusion? Do you
-Is this Malkovich fellow appealing?
-Yes, of course. He's a celebrity.
-Good. We'll sell tickets.
-Tickets to Malkovich?
-Exactly. Two hundred dollars a pop.
-But there's something profound here, Maxine, we can't exploit it.
-Fine. I'll do it myself. I was going to offer a partnership to you, but this way it's more money for me.
-You wanted to be partners with me?
-Sure. It'd be fun.
-Really? But, Maxine, can of worms! End of the world! Illusory nature of existence!
-Okay. Here it is. Ever want to be someone else? Now you can. No kidding. Only two hundred dollars for fifteen minutes. Visit J.M. Inc., Mertin-Flemmer Building. etc., etc.
-Craig, I just don't find you attractive. And, Lotte, I'm smitten with you, but only when you're in Malkovich. When I looked into his eyes last night, I could feel you peering out. Behind the stubble and the too-prominent brow and the male pattern baldness, I sensed your feminine longing peering out, and it just slew me.
-This is amazing! We're gonna be rich!
-You're late.
-Are you torturing me on purpose?
-I've fallen in love.
-I don't think so. I've fallen in love. This is what people who've fallen in love look like.
-You picked the unrequited variety. Very bad for the skin.
-You're evil, Maxine.
-You're glowing again.
-Lotte, this is so good...
-Lotte? Is that you?
-Let him try.
-What happens when a man climbs through his own portal?
-But I gotta go now. I've got to go be Johnny.
-Hello, Don.
-Hello. Wendy.
-Don, I was wondering, do you know why our workplace has such low ceilings?
-So that's the story of 7 1/2. Since the rents are considerably lower this floor has been adopted by businesses which for one reason or another are forced to cut corners After all... the overhead is low! Ha ha ha!
-Hi. Wendy! What're you up to in this vacant office.
-Well, Don, I peeked in here, even though I know it's against floor policy. and I discovered that there's a little tiny door in here. Isn't it cute? It's almost like a little dolly's door. I wonder what it’s for.
-You've got to tell Craig what's going on. He must never leave Malkovich.
-I'm glad you learned sign language, Elijah, but I'm tired of your nagging. I'm tired of this conversation. I'm tired period. What has the world ever done for me that I should feel personally responsible for saving it?
-Must you take this terrible demon on yourself, my love?
-Yes. I'm the only one. I have to enter Malkovich and destroy him from the inside. If not me, who?
-If there was any way I could go in your place. But I'm only a monkey and...
-I'll be with you always, my friends. Who knows, maybe if I'm lucky, I'll rejoin you with wings and a beak.
-No.
-Long term psychic or physiological repercussions?
-No. Don't be an ass.
-Can I be anyone I want?
-You can be John Malkovich.
-Well that's perfect. My second choice. Ah, this is wonderful. Too good to be true! You see, I'm a sad man. Sad and fat and alone. Oh, I've tried all the diets, my friends. Lived for a year on nothing but imitation mayonnaise. Did it work? You be the judge. But Malkovich! King of New York! Man about town! Most eligible bachelor! Bon Vivant!
-Two hundred dollars, please.
-Boy, this is a toughie. To be honest, I didn't anticipate this.
-And as I said, sir, we can't very well exert physical persuasion upon the sacred vessel Malkovich.
-Right, Lester. I heard you the first time. I'm not a dummy.
-Didn't mean to imply that you were, sir.
-Have a seat. I wracking my brain over this Malkovich thing.
-We saw his show at the Luxor last night.
-Vegas? What'd you think?
-The kid's got talent. You've never seen Malkovich like this. Schwartz had him up there singing and dancing. Impressions.
-Impressions? Those are hard.
-Very talented son of a bitch. Too bad we can't kill him.
-I suppose I could come to him in a dream. I don't know. That's the best I can think of right now.
-A scary dream?
-No, a sexy dream. Of course, a scary dream.
-How'd it go? Did you say the philodendron gets water or no?
-No, for God's sake, I just watered it yesterday. It almost went well. I gave a pretty good dream, but circumstances arose.
-What kind of circumstances?
-Maxine says she'll leave him if he leaves Malkovich, plus he's been challenged to a puppet-duel by Mantini.
-The Great Mantini?
-No, the Mediocre Mantini. Of course the Great Mantini!
-Oh, he's good! Great, actually. I saw him do "Tru" with his sixty foot Robert Morse puppet. Sensational.
-But I think I have another plan.
-Do tell. I love a good plan.
-I missed you. I'm sorry. Tell me the plan.
-Well, if Mantini wins, Schwartz will leave Malkovich, right? So, if he needs it, I help Mantini's performance a bit, give him an edge. Spice up the show.
-Can you do that? I mean, do you know anything about puppetry?
-I am the Devil, Lester. I think I can handle it.
-I was just asking. No disrespect intended.
-Fine. Let's drop it.
-Fine. I mean, it's not like I was doubting you, it's just that I know puppetry is a skill that takes a long time to acquire.
-Fine. I'm not mad. Let's just drop it.
-Floris, get Guinness on the phone.
-Gehginnis ondah foam?
-Forget it.
-Fork ah did?
-Yes, my dear?
-Someone names A Lot of Warts on line two.
-Thank you, Floris.
-Think, Jew florist?
-Do you dream often?
-Do you?
-It's my job to ask the questions. Yours to answer them.
-Says who?
-Says me. Do you dream often?
-It's like nothing I've ever felt before. I think I'm going crazy.
-I'm sure you're not going crazy.
-Kevin, I'm telling you... it was like nothing I've...
-Yeah yeah yeah. Yadda yadda yadda. Were you stoned?
-Yes, but you see, someone else was talking through my mouth.
-You were stoned. Case closed. End of story. How hot is this babe?
-I think it might've been this Lotte woman talking through me. Maxine likes to call me Lotte.
-Ouch. Now that's hot. She's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover. Let me know when you're done with her. This is my type of chick.
-I'm done with her now. Tonight really creeped me out.
-You're crazy to let go of a chick who calls you Lotte. I tell you that as a friend.
-I don't know anything about her. What if she's some sort of witch or something?
-All the better. Hey, Hot Lesbian Witches, next Geraldo, buddy boy. Ha ha ha.
-I gotta know the truth, Kevin.
-You don't look a day over one hundred and five, Captain. What's your secret?
-Anybody else?
-Do we get to wear a crown?
-But of course.
-Count me in.
-Tell me, Lotte, can you understand a word I'm saying?
-Yes, of course, Dr. Lester.
-Oh, be still my heart.
-Dr. Lester, would you point me toward the restroom?
-I'm getting divorced.
-No you mustn't, my child.
-But why, Son of Malkovich?
-I blew it, Dr. Lester.
-You followed your heart, my child, and that is not necessarily a bad thing.
-But now we've lost access to Craig.
-You know I think it pays to leave juice-making to the trained professionals. You look terrible, my dear.
-Craig stole Maxine from me, Dr. Lester.
-Hmmm, a lesbian, are you? I must inform you that I find that highly arousing.
-No, you don't understand. I've been inside Malkovich when I'm with Maxine...
-What?! That is not allowed. My God, you are supposed to be one of us. You know you must never partake of Malkovich by yourself!
-No, I didn't know that.
-Oh, didn't anyone show you the indoctrination video?
-No.
-Aaaahhhh, the portal!
-No! Don't harm the vessel!
-It's Craig in there, I can tell.
-Thank you all for your efforts, but I'm afraid we can no longer get into Malkovich through the portal.
-Why not? I need to get in there!
-I'm not certain, my dear, but I believe your husband has somehow psychically diverted the route.
-That bastard! I'll gladly dispose of him in the name of the order, Son of Malkovich.
-Yes, hello, I wanted to place an ad. Hi, are you Craig's wife?
-Hi. Have you done Malkovich yet?
-Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man, Craig.
-And the funny thing is. Mr. Malkovich, my voice is probably the least intriguing thing about me.
-Ah.
-Yes?
-I have to see you. Can you call him and invite us over?
-When?
-Oh my darling. Oh my sweetheart.
-I love you, Lotte.
-J.M. Inc. Be all that someone else can be.
-I have to see you.
-We have to meet.
-Maxine! Listen: It hasn't been me in John the last three times. Craig's had me locked up in the apartment. He made me call you at gunpoint. It's been him! Oh, God, it's been him!
-Really? Well, you know, he's quite good. I'm surprised. Anyway, I have a session with Malkovich I have to attend. I'll speak with you soon.
-But Maxine, I thought it was me you loved.
-Hello, Schwartz. I saw your show.
-Did you see the reviews?
-Yeah, I saw them
-She's not available.
-How do we do that?
-A friendly competition, if you will. Your Malkovich puppet and my Harry S. Truman puppet appear opposite each other in a play. Not some Vegas Burly-Q pyrotechnics, but a real play that requires actual acting. The audience decides who is more deserving of the title. The losing puppeteer bows out graciously. Goes back to obscurity as a file clerk.
-What's the play?
-Say... "Equus"? It's got everything.
-Never heard of it.
-Broadway's finest three hours. It's about the suppression of the individual. Conformity as God in modern society.
-Sounds boring. Are there any songs?
-Nothing but acting to hide behind, buddy-boy.
-I'm not afraid. I toured for a year with the National Puppet Company's production of "Long Day's Journey Into Night."
-Great then.
-Is there dancing?
-No.
-Yeah?
-Mr. Malkovich?
-Who's calling?
-You don't know me, but I'm a great admirer of yours.
-How'd you get this number?
-Can I get you a drink?
-Thanks so much for coming over.
-So, do you enjoy being an actor?
-I'm sorry, did you just call me "Lotte"?
-Do you mind?
-Oh, my sweet, beautiful Lotte.
-Yes, yes, sweetheart, yes! What the fuck is going on? I'm not talking. This is not me!
-Something was making me talk. Some Goddamn thing was making me move. I gotta get out of here.
-Oh, Dollface, it was just your passion for me taking hold.
-Darling!
-Come on in.
-I can explain about the portal, darling.
-Don't con me, Maxine. We're over. I just let you up here to tell you that, and to tell you that I'm taking you and Schwartz to court.
-Yes. How did you know it was me?
-Lotte called me.
-Oh, so the bitch escaped.
-Apparently you can control this Malkovich fellow now.
-I'm getting better all the time.
-I'll say you are. Let's do it on his kitchen table, then make him eat an omelette off of it.
-You still there, sweets?
-Yeah. I've figured out how to hold on as long as I want. Oddly enough, it's all in the wrists.
-Wow. Do a puppet show for me, Craig honey.
-You mean with Malkovich?
-I'd love to see your work.
-That was incredible. You're brilliant!
-You see, Maxine, it isn't just playing with dolls.
-Stay in him forever?
-No! But how will we make a living, my love, if our clientele doesn't have access to our product?
-Well, we'll have all the money in Malkovich's bank account, plus he still gets acting work occasionally.
-No! Please! Shut up, will you? We're trying to think here. It is sort of like being a puppeteer. I like that about it.
-No one would ever have to know its not him.
-Wait a minute! What if everybody knew? What if we presented Malkovich as the world's most complicated puppet and me as the only puppeteer sophisticated enough to work him? We'd wipe the floor with the Great Mantini!
-Shut up! Sorry, dear, I lost control for a minute.
-Vegas.
-This is it, lover. You're stepping onto that stage a nobody and presto-change-o, you're coming back the greatest puppeteer the world has ever seen.
-Doesn't he know how important tonight is to us?
-They love me, darling! "Craig Schwartz is fantastic!" The New York Times. "If only Craig Schwartz had always been inside Malkovich!" Women's Wear Daily. "Craig Schwartz - The world's greatest puppeteer!" Paul Wunder, WBAI Radio.
-Oh, darling. It's a dream come true. We're going to ride this straight to the top.
-Sleepy suddenly.
-Bad dream, darling?
-I've got to leave Malkovich.
-You've got to be kidding.
-Honey, we can be happy and poor together.
-Yeah what?!
-Good-bye, Maxine.
-Captain Mertin?
-What want ye, girl child?
-I am not a child, Captain Mertin, but rather an adult lady of miniature proportions.
-I see. Well, it is not my fault that thou art tiny. So if it is charity yer after, then be gone with ye, ye foul demon.
-I am not asking for alms, but rather the ear of a kind man with a noble heart.
-Aye. Speak then if ye must.
-Why you never go back to Lady Jone's and learn your letters? You liked going there I remember. Seeing the other children. Then all a sudden, you stop.
-You got to go sometime. You got to go out there by yourself sometime.
-But you said...you said out there, there ain't no...what was that word?..no..de- fense. No de-fense.
-There ain't.
-Then what do I do?
-Folks came.
-Folks come. Folks go.
-I got a delivery around here. Name of Tucker.
-Well?
-Well what?
-This Saturday - you coming to Call or what?
-If I call them, and they come what on earth am I going to say to them.
-The Word. What you was put here to speak.
-That's the last thing they took from me.
-But you got to do it. You got to. Can't nobody Call like you. You have to be there.
-What I have to do is get in my bed and lay down. I want to fix on something harmless in this world.
-What world are you talking about? Ain't nothing harmless down here.
-Blue. That doesn't hurt nobody. Yellow neither.
-You getting into bed to think about yellow?
-I likes yellow.
-Then what? When you get through with blue and yellow, then what?
-Can't say. It's something can't be planned.
-You blaming God. That what you're doing?
-No, Stamp. I ain't.
-You saying whitefolks won. That what you saying?
-Those white things have taken all I had or dreamed. I'm saying ain't no bad luck in this world 'cept for white folks..They just don't know when to stop.
-You saying nothing counts?
-I'm saying they came into my yard.
-You saying God give up? Nothing left for us but pour out our own blood?
-I'm saying they came into my yard.
-You punishing Him, ain't you?
-Not like He punished me.
-You can't do that, Baby. It ain't right.
-Was a time I knew what was.
-You still know.
-What I know is what I see: a nigger woman hauling shoes.
-We have to be steady. "These things too will pass". What you looking for? A miracle?
-No. Sorry.
-They'll be all right. I'm surprised they lasted here this long.
-I don't know. Maybe we should have moved.
-What'd be the point? Not a house in the country ain't packed to the rafters with some dead Negro's grief. We lucky our ghost is a baby. My husband spirit come back? Or yours? Don't talk to me! Ha..You lucky. You got one child left, still pullin at your skirts. Be thankful. I had eight. Eight with six fathers. Every one of them gone
-You remember Halle.
-Oh, I remember bits and pieces of all of'em I guess..Halle, of course..I had Halle a lifetime. Almost twenty years... My two girls, sold and gone before I could even a heard about it, and them without their grown up teeth yet. My third child, my son after Halle...I let that straw boss have me for four months so's I could keep that boy.
-The boys wouldn't have left if Halle were here.
-...All I remember is how she loved the bottom of burned bread. Her little hands...I wouldn't know 'em if they slapped me".
-..I swallowed her blood right along with my mother's milk. She played with me and always came to be with me whenever I needed her. Me and her waited for our daddy. I love her. I do. She never hurt me. I love my mother but I know she killed one of her own, and tender as she is with me, I'm scared of
-Beloved..She's mine I am Beloved
-YOU HURT ME.
-WATCH OUT FOR HER; SHE CAN GIVE YOU DREAMS.
-WHERE ARE THE MEN WITHOUT SKIN?
-What do you know about it? I sleep where I want.
-DID YOU COME FROM THE OTHER SIDE.
-YES. I WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE.
-YOU CAME BACK BECAUSE OF ME?
-YES.
-YOU NEVER FORGOT ME?
-WILL YOU STAY?
-WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME WHO AM YOU?
-CAN THEY GET IN HERE?
-You don't sit with me!!
-Baby, don't be like that.
-You don't sit with me!! I don't sit with people who leave me!
-Don't talk like that. Your mama loves you.
-I had another dream last night. The dead man laying on top of me and I had nothing to eat. And the ghosts without skin stuck their fingers in me and said Beloved in the dark and bitch in the light..
-Don't say those things. You forget about those dreams..
-You gave me the bad dreams. You left me behind...
-Mama told you - I'd give up my own life, every minute, every hour of it to take back one of your tears baby...My children my best thing. You my best thing!
-You're weren't nice to me..you didn't smile at me..
-I want somethin' sweet.
-We don't have nothing sweet no more, baby.
-Not for me, you don't! You don't let me eat the pies...
-Well, is it now? How you getting along?
-Don't pay to complain.
-You on your way home?
-No. Got me an afternoon job at the shirt factory. Figure between that and my night work at the Bodwins I might be able to put something away for me and mama.
-They treating you right over at the Bodwins?
-Your mother all right?
-No. Not a bit all right. Hasn't gotten out of bed since that day.
-You think I should stop by? Think she'd welcome it?
-That girl...You know, Beloved...
-Yes?
-She gone like they say?
-Haven't seen her since that day. Ella thinks she might be waiting in the woods for another chance but..I don't think so. Mama thinks she's gone for good. Says she can feel it.
-You think she sure 'nough your sister?
-Well, if you want my opinion...
-I don't. I have my own.
-You grown.
-Yes sir
-Well, good luck with the job.
-And Paul D...you don't have to stay 'way, but be careful how you talk to my mama, hear?
-Yes?
-May I come in?
-What you want?
-I want to see Mr. and Mrs. Bodwin.
-Miss Bodwin. They brother and sister, darlin.
-Oh.
-What you want'em for?
-I'm looking for work. I was thinking they might know of some.
-You Baby Sugg's kin, ain't you?
-Yes ma'am.
-I heard your mother took sick, that so?
-Yes ma'am..
-You know what? I've been here since I was fourteen and I remember like yesterday when Baby Suggs, holy, came here and sat right where you are. Whiteman name of Garner brought her. He and Mr. Bodwin were good friends. That's how she got that house you all live in. Other things too.
-Yes ma'am.
-I never went to those woodland services but she was always nice to me. Always. Never be another like her.
-I miss her.
-Bet you do. Everybody miss her. That was a good woman...Well, I don't know whether the Bodwins think it or not but they sure could use some extra help.
-Ya think?
-They getting older now and I can't take care of 'em like I used to. More and more they keep asking me to sleep over night. Now, I don't want to quit these people but they can't have all my days and nights too. I got my own family needs me. It'll take some convincing but maybe you could come after supper - take
-Fine. But what would I do at night?
-Be here. In case.
-In case of what?
-They good whitefolks?
-I want to work, Miss Lady.
-Work? Start learnin your letters again?
-No. I mean work work.
-Well, what can you do?
-I can't do anything but I would learn it for you if you have a little extra.
-Extra?
-Food. My mama, she doesn't feel well. I couldn't stay away from her too long, cause of her condition but I could do chores in the mornings.
-Oh baby...I don't know anyone could pay anybody anything for work they did themselves...But if you all need to eat until your mother's well, all you have to do is say so...We have a church committee invented so nobody had to go hungry.
-Back stiff?
-OOh, yeah...Don't know if it's the floor or the skating.
-Could be that fall you took.
-Should I wake her?
-No, let her rest.
-She likes to see you off in the morning.
-I'll make sure she does. But first I'm going make up a nice, big breakfast against that cold outside.
-Won't you be late for work?
-DON'T LOVE HER TOO MUCH.
-OUT THERE. WAY OFF.
-Morning.
-MAMA!
-Hold back Denver - I'm fine..You..you go on upstairs. I'll do the cleaning up.
-But mama..
-Mama let me help you.
-Nobody..no sir..that's right..nobody's going be doing that..nobody going be writing my daughter's characteristics on the animal side..no sir..I don't care..ain't laying that down..no sir. I refuse..that's right..that's right...
-Mama...Mama she's asleep. Why don't you eat something.
-She likes this dress...
-No...no...no..
-Where you been keeping yourself? I told John must be cold if Stamp stay inside.
-Out where?
-Was over to Baby Suggs.
-What you want there? Somebody invite you in?
-Somebody new there. A woman. Thought you might know who she is.
-Ain't no new Negroes in this town I don't know about. What she look like? You sure that wasn't Denver?
-I know Denver.
-You sure?
-I know what I see.
-Might see anything at all at 124.
-True.
-Better ask Paul D.
-Can't locate him.
-He's sleeping in the church.
-The church!
-Yeah. Asked Rev. Pike if he could stay in the cellar.
-It's cold as charity in there! What he do that for? Any number'll take him in.
-Can't nobody read minds long distance. All he have to do is ask somebody.
-Why? Why he have to ask? Can't nobody offer? What's going on? Since when a black man come to town have to sleep in the cellar like a dog?!
-Unrile yourself, Stamp. It's only a few days he been there.
-NO! Shouldn't be no days! You know all about it and don't give him a hand? That don't sound like you, Ella. Me and you been pulling colored folk out the water more'n twenty years! Now you tell me you can't offer a man a bed?! A working man who can pay his own way?
-He ask, I give him anything.
-Why's that necessary all of a sudden?
-I don't know him that well.
-You know he's colored? What else there to know?
-Stamp, don't tear me up this morning! I don't feel like it.
-It's her, ain't it?
-Her who?
-Sethe. He took up with her and stayed in there and you don't want nothing to-
-Hold on! Don't jump if you can't see bottom!
-Well, who can tell what went on in there? I never even knew who Sethe was or none of her people.
-You know she married Baby Suggs' boy.
-I ain't sure I know that. Baby never laid eyes on her till she showed up here. And how'd she make it and her husband didn't? And where is he? And how she have that baby in the woods by herself? Said a whitewoman help her. Shoot. You believe that? Well, I know what kind of white that was.
-Aw, no, Ella.
-Anything white floating around in the woods - if it don't got a shotgun, it's something the Lord tells me I don't want no part of.
-You was friends.
-Till she showed herself.
-Ella.
-I ain't got no friends take a handsaw to their own children.
-What's any of that got to do with Paul D.?
-What run him off? Tell me that!
-I run him off.
-You?
-I told him...Showed him the newspaper. About Sethe. Read it to him. He left that very day.
-You didn't tell me that. I thought he already knew.
-He didn't know nothing. And nobody. Except her, from when they was at that place Baby Suggs was at.
-He knew Baby Suggs?
-Sure he knew her. Her boy Halle, too.
-But you didn't come here talking 'bout Paul. You came asking about a new girl.
-That's so.
-Well, Paul D. must know who she is. Or what she is.
-You mind loaded with spirits. Everywhere you look you see one.
-This is hard for me. But I got to do it. Two things I got to say to you. I'm a take the easy one first.
-If it's hard for you, might kill me dead.
-I come looking for you to ask your pardon. Apologize.
-For what?
-You pick any house, any house where colored live. Pick any one and you welcome to stay there. I'm apologizing 'cause they didn't offer to tell you. But you welcome anywhere you want to be. My house. John and Ella. Miss Lady Jones..anybody. You choose. You ain't got to sleep in no cellar and I apologize for each and every night.
-Well I...I did get offered one place but I just wanted to be off by myself a spell.
-Oh yeah. Oh that's load off. I thought everybody gone crazy.
-Just me.
-You planning to do anything about it?
-You remember your price, Stamp?
-Never found out.
-I did. Down to the cent.$900. Always wondered though what Mrs. Garner got for my brother Paul F. Must of been more than nine hundred dollars cause she use that money for Sweet Home for almost two years. But then they hung my other brother Paul A. up on a tree so I guess he wasn't worth the same..I wonder what was Baby Suggs
-No use thinking these things now.
-Oh but we got to. How we gonna know our price in the future? How are children's children's children gonna know what they cost? Who's gonna tell them? What are they gonna pay for us, if we free?
-Children ain't gonna need to know that kind of thing.
-They'll know. They'll know as soon as they born. Cause it's inside us,Stamp. It'll be inside them. We'll pass it down. Schoolteacher didn't just change the outside, he changed the mind..and the blood..and what it carries...and what it's worth..
-I don't believe that. I won't.
-I said I had two things to say to you. I only told you one. I have to tell you the other.
-I don't want to know.
-I was there Paul D...There in the yard. When she did it.
-Jesus.
-It ain't what you think.
-You don't know what I think.
-She ain't crazy. She love those children. She was trying to outhurt the hurter's all.
-Leave off..
-She was only-
-Stamp, leave off I said! I knew her when she was a girl. She scares me and I knew her when she was a girl...
-You ain't scared of Sethe. I don't believe you.
-She scares me. I scare me. And that girl in her house scares me.
-Who is she? Where she come from?
-Don't know. Just shot up one day from a stump.
-Tell me something, Stamp. Tell me this one thing. How much is a nigger supposed to take?
-All he can. All he can.
-Sethe?
-You shaved.
-Yeah. Look bad?
-No, You looking good.
-Devil's confusion. What's this I hear about you not getting out of bed? I saw Denver. She tell you?
-She comes in the daytime. She still with me, my Denver.
-You got to get up from here, girl.
-I'm tired, Paul. So tired. I have to rest a while.
-Don't you die on me!! This is Baby Suggs quilt. Is that what you planning!?
-Oh, I don't have no plans. No plans at all.
-What, baby?
-She left me. She's gone again.
-Aw, girl. Don't cry...Me and you, we got more yesterday than anybody. We need some kind of tomorrow...
-What the hell you thinking, girl? Strolling in here this late?
-Don't talk to me, Mr. Sawyer. Don't say nothing to me this morning.
-What? What? You talking back to me?
-Not too sweet! You make it too sweet they don't eat it.
-Make it the way I always do.
-Hey!!
-Yes sir.
-I'm looking for a gal name of Judy. Works over by the slaughterhouse. Said she lived on Plank Road.
-Plank Road. Yes sir. That's up a ways. Mile, maybe.
-You don't know her? Judy? Works in the slaughterhouse.
-Look here..There's a cross up there, so I guess this here's a church or used to be. Seems to me like you ought to show it some respect, you follow me?
-Hiya Allan.
-Sure Allan, I'll be there.
-Dude, uh, tomorrow is already the tenth.
-Yeah, yeah I know. Okay.
-Just, uh, just slip the rent under my door.
-Yeah?
-Wasn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire?
-Fuck.
-What do you think?
-Pin your diapers on, Lebowski. Jackie Treehorn wants to see you.
-And we know which Lebowski you are, Lebowski.
-Yeah. Jackie Treehorn wants to talk to the deadbeat Lebowski.
-Manolo will load it into your car for you, uh, Dude.
-Well, enjoy, and perhaps we'll see you again some time, Dude.
-We've had some terrible news. Mr. Lebowski is in seclusion in the West Wing.
-Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier once we get instructions for the money.
-Why me, man?
-He suspects that the culprits might be the very people who, uh, soiled your rug, and you're in a unique position to confirm or, uh, disconfirm that suspicion.
-So he thinks it's the carpet-pissers, huh?
-They called about eighty minutes ago. They want you to take the money and drive north on the 4 5. They'll call you on the portable phone with instructions in about forty minutes. One person only or I'd go with you. They were very clear on that: one person only. What happened to your jaw?
-Here's the money, and the phone. Please, Dude, follow whatever instructions they give.
-Uh-huh.
-Her life is in your hands.
-Oh, man, don't say that..
-Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that: Her life is in your hands.
-Shit.
-This is our concern, Dude.
-That had not occurred to us, Dude.
-Where'd she been?
-Visiting friends of hers in Palm Springs. Just picked up and left, never bothered to tell us.
-I know my rights.
-You don't know shit, Lebowski.
-I want a fucking lawyer, man. I want Bill Kunstler.
-What are you, some kind of sad-assed refugee from the fucking sixties?
-Uh-huh.
-Mr. Treehorn tells us that he had to eject you from his garden party, that you were drunk and abusive.
-That guy treats women like objects, man.
-A dick, man! And let me tell you something: I dig your work. Playing one side against the other--in bed with everybody--fabulous stuff, man.
-I'm not a--ah, fuck it, just stay away from my fucking lady friend, man.
-Hey hey, I'm not messing with your special lady--
-She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man!
-Hey, man, I'm not--
-Who're you working for? Lebowski? Jackie Treehorn?
-The Gundersons.
-The? Who the fff--
-Jesus fucking Christ.
-Fuck, man! That's terrible!
-Yeah, it sucks.
-There's no ransom if you don't have a fucking hostage. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
-Zere ARE no ROOLZ!
-Okay. Vee take ze money you haf on you und vee call it eefen.
-VEE FUCK YOU UP, MAN! VEE TAKE YOUR MONEY!
-Come and get it.
-VEE FUCK YOU UP, MAN!
-Come and get it. Fucking nihilist.
-I FUCK YOU! I FUCK YOU!
-NUSSING!
-Excuse me?
-Nothing.
-Can we just rent it from you?
-Sir, please lower your voice--
-Hey man, don't you have something else you could put it in?
-Yeah.
-What's this?
-That is for the urn.
-Don't need it. We're scattering the ashes.
-Yes, so we were informed. However, we must of course transmit the remains to you in a receptacle.
-This is a hundred and eighty dollars.
-They range up to three thousand.
-What the fuck is he talking about?
-Fuckin' A.
-His name is Lebowski? That's your name, Dude!
-What do you mean, Dude?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, well, what do you care, Walter?
-Sheesh.
-Where you going, Dude?
-I'm going home, Donny.
-Your phone's ringing, Dude.
-Almost five!
-What tied the room together, Dude?
-Were you listening to the story, Donny?
-What--
-Were you listening to the Dude's story?
-I was bowling--
-Yeah Walter, what's your point?
-He peed on the Dude's rug--
-What's a pederast, Walter?
-If what's during league play?
-Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.
-I am the Walrus.
-Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
-What the fuck is he talking about?
-They posted the next round of the tournament--
-Donny, shut the f--when do we play?
-This Saturday. Quintana and--
-Burkhalter.
-I told that kraut a fucking thousand times I don't roll on shabbas.
-It's already posted.
-How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter?
-I'm shomer shabbas.
-Oh yeah, how'd it go?
-Kill that poor woman.
-Walter, if you can't ride in a car, how d'you get around on Shammas--
-Who has your undies, Walter?
-And then they're gonna stamp on it?!
-Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.
-They were Nazis, Dude?
-Come on, Donny, they were threatening castration!
-Uh-huh.
-Are you gonna split hairs?
-No--
-Am I wrong?
-What do you need that for, Dude?
-Those are good burgers, Walter.
-What have you. We'll, uh--
-We'll be near the In-and-Out Burger.
-Who's in pyjamas, Walter?
-Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?
---So he says, "My son can't hold a job, my daughter's married to a fuckin' loser, and I got a rash on my ass so bad I can't hardly siddown. But you know me. I can't complain."
-Jesus, man, can you change the station?
-Fuck you man! You don't like my fucking music, get your own fucking cab!
-I've had a--
-I pull over and kick your ass out, man!
---had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man--
-And this is the study. You can see the various commendations, honorary degrees, et cetera.
-Yes, uh, very impressive.
-Please, feel free to inspect them.
-I'm not really, uh.
-Please! Please!
-That's the key to the city of Pasadena, which Mr. Lebowski was given two years ago in recognition of his various civic, uh.
-Uh-huh.
-That's a Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever award, which is given--not necessarily given every year! Given only when there's a worthy, somebody especially--
-Hey, is this him with Nancy?
-That is indeed Mr. Lebowski with the first lady, yes, taken when--
-Lebowski on the right?
-Of course, Mr. Lebowski on the right, Mrs. Reagan on the left, taken when--
-He's handicapped, huh?
-Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes. And this picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan was first lady of the nation, yes, yes? Not of California.
-Far out.
-And in fact he met privately with the President, though unfortunately there wasn't time for a photo opportunity.
-Nancy's pretty good.
-Wonderful woman. We were very--
-Are these.
-These are Mr. Lebowski's children, so to speak--
-Different mothers, huh?
-No, they--
-I guess he's pretty, uh, racially pretty cool--
-They're not his, heh-heh, they're not literally his children; they're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, inner-city children of promise but without the--
-I see.
---without the means for higher education, so Mr. Lebowski has committed to sending all of them to college.
-Jeez. Think he's got room for one more?
-One--oh! Heh-heh. You never went to college?
-Well, yeah I did, but I spent most of my time occupying various, um, administration buildings--
-Heh-heh--
---smoking thai-stick, breaking into the ROTC--
-Yes, heh--
-1972 Pontiac LeBaron.
-Color?
-Green. Some brown, or, uh, rust, coloration.
-And was there anything of value in the car?
-Huh? Oh. Yeah. Tape deck. Couple of Creedence tapes. And there was a, uh. . . my briefcase.
-In the briefcase?
-Papers. Just papers. You know, my papers. Business papers.
-And what do you do, sir?
-...Me, I don't drink coffee. But it's nice when they offer.
-...Also, my rug was stolen.
-No. Here.
-Sometimes. I wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though. Or the Creedence tapes.
-Ahh, not so good, man.
-One a those days, huh. Wal, a wiser fella than m'self once said, sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar, wal, he eats you.
-Uh-huh. That some kind of Eastern thing?
-Far from it.
-I like your style, Dude.
-Well I like your style too, man. Got a whole cowboy thing goin'.
-Take it easy, Dude.
-Howdy do, Dude.
-Oh, hey man, how are ya? I wondered if I'd see you again.
-Wouldn't miss the semis. How things been goin'?
-Thanks, Gary...Take care, man, I gotta get back.
-Sure. Take it easy, Dude--I know that you will.
-This is quite a pad you got here, man. Completely unspoiled.
-What's your drink, Dude?
-White Russian, thanks. How's the smut business, Jackie?
-I wouldn't know, Dude. I deal in publishing, entertainment, political advocacy, and--
-Which one was Logjammin'?
-People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone--
-Of course, you do get the good with the bad. The new technology permits us to do exciting things with interactive erotic software. Wave of the future, Dude. 100% electronic.
-Uh-huh. Well, I still jerk off manually.
-Of course you do. I can see you're anxious for me to get to the point. Well Dude, here it is. Where's Bunny?
-I thought you might know, man.
-Me? How would I know? The only reason she ran off was to get away from her rather sizable debt to me.
-I've heard the kidnapping story, so save it. I know you're mixed up in all this, Dude, and I don't care what you're trying to take off her husband. That's your business. All I'm saying is, I want mine.
-Yeah, well, right man, there are many facets to this, uh, you know, many interested parties. If I can find your money, man-- what's in it for the Dude?
-Of course, there's that to discuss. Refill?
-Does the Pope shit in the woods?
-Let's say a 10% finder's fee?
-No! No! NO! THAT'S NOT--
-Who the fuck are you, man! Come on, man!
-Relax, man! No physical harm intended!
-Who the fuck are you? Why've you been following me? Come on, fuckhead!
-Brother Shamus? Like an Irish monk?
-Irish m--What the fuck are you talking about? My name's Da Fino! I'm a private snoop! Like you, man!
-Hello, gentlemen. You are the bereaved?
-Yeah man.
-Francis Donnelly. Pleased to meet you.
-Is that what that's a picture of?
-In a sense, yes. Elfranco, my robe. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal. Which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
-Oh yeah?
-Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say. Whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his "dick" or his "rod" or his "Johnson".
-"Johnson"?
-Huh?
-Yes, I know about it. And I know that you acted as courier. And let me tell you something: the whole thing stinks to high heaven.
-Right, but let me explain something about that rug--
-Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
-Excuse me?
-Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
-I was talking about my rug.
-You're not interested in sex?
-You mean coitus?
-I like it too. It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people--it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women--who engage in it compulsively and without joy.
-Oh, no.
-Yes Mr. Lebowski, these unfortunate souls cannot love in the true sense of the word. Our mutual acquaintance Bunny is one of these.
-Listen, Maude, I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, but I don't see what it has to do with--do you have any kalhua?
-Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
-He fixes the cable?
-Shit yeah, the achievers.
-Yeah, but my-
-I'm getting to your rug. My father and I don't get along; he doesn't approve of my lifestyle and, needless to say, I don't approve of his. Still, I hardly wish to make my father's embezzlement a police matter, so I'm proposing that you try to recover the money from the people you delivered it to.
-Well--sure, I could do that--
-If you successfully do so, I will compensate you to the tune of 1% of the recovered sum.
-A hundred.
-Thousand, yes, bones or clams or whatever you call them.
-Yeah, but what about--
-Oh that's okay, I hardly even--
-Here's the name and number of a doctor who will look at it for you. You will receive no bill. He's a good man, and thorough.
-That's really thoughtful but I--
-Jeffrey, you haven't gone to the doctor.
-No it's fine, really, uh--
-Do you have any news regarding my father's money?
-I, uh... money, yeah, I gotta respecfully, 69 you know, tender my resignation on that matter, 'cause it looks like your mother really was kidnapped after all.
-She most certainly was not!
-Hey man, why don't you fucking listen occasionally? You might learn something. Now I got--
-And please don't call her my mother.
-Now I got--
-She is most definitely the perpetrator and not the victim.
-I'm telling you, I got definitive evidence--
-From who?
-The main guy, Dieter--
-Dieter Hauff?
-Well--yeah, I guess--
-Her "co-star" in the beaver picture?
-Beaver? You mean vagina?--I mean, you know him?
-Roy Orbison. . . Pink Floyd.
-Jeez. I miss vinyl.
-Is he pretending to be the abductor?
-Well...yeah--
-Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap someone that you're acquainted with. You can't get away with it if the hostage knows who you are.
-Well yeah...I know that.
-So Dieter has the money?
-Well, no, not exactly. It's a complicated case, Maude. Lotta ins. Lotta outs. And a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's--
-Do you still have that doctor's number?
-Please Jeffrey. I don't want to be responsible for any delayed after- effects.
-Delayed after-eff--
-Jeffrey.
-Tell me a little about yourself, Jeffrey.
-I was, uh, one of the authors of the Port Huron Statement.--The original Port Huron Statement.
-Uh-huh.
-Not the compromised second draft. And then I, uh. . . Ever hear of the Seattle Seven?
-And then. . . let's see, I uh--music business briefly.
-Oh?
-Yeah. Roadie for Metallica. Speed of Sound Tour.
-Uh-huh.
-Bunch of assholes. And then, you know, little of this, little of that. My career's, uh, slowed down a bit lately.
-What do you do for fun?
-What happened to your house?
-Jackie Treehorn trashed the place. Wanted to save the finder's fee.
-Finder's fee?
-He thought I had your father's money, so he got me out of the way while he looked for it.
-It's not my father's money, it's the Foundation's. Why did he think you had it? And who does?
-Jeffrey--
-It's a complicated case, Maude. Lotta ins, lotta outs. Fortunately I've been adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, limber. I'm real fucking close to your father's money, real fucking close. It's just--
-I keep telling you, it's the Foundation's money. Father doesn't have any.
-Huh? He's fucking loaded.
-No no, the wealth was all Mother's.
-But your father--he runs stuff, he--
-We did let Father run one of the companies, briefly, but he didn't do very well at it.
-But he's--
-He helps administer the charities now, and I give him a reasonable allowance. He has no money of his own. I know how he likes to present himself; Father's weakness is vanity. Hence the slut.
-Increases?
-Well yes, what did you think this was all about? Fun and games?
-Well...no, of course not--
-I want a child.
-Yeah, okay, but see, the Dude--
-Look, Jeffrey, I don't want a partner. In fact I don't want the father to be someone I have to see socially, or who'll have any interest in rearing the child himself.
-So...that doctor.
-No, the, uh, police chief of Malibu. A real reactionary. . . So your father. . . Oh man, I get it!
-This was, uh--
-Yeah man, it really tied the room together--
-What's your point, Walter?
-What's the point of--we all know who was at fault, so what the fuck are you talking about?
-Forget it, Donny. You're out of your element.
-This Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill so what the fuck are you talking about?
-What the fuck are you talking about?! This Chinaman is not the issue! I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line you do not, uh--and also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred, uh. . . Asian- American. Please.
-Walter, this is not a guy who built the rail- roads, here, this is a guy who peed on my--
-What the fuck are you--
-So who--
-Jeff Lebowski. Come on. This other Jeffrey Lebowski. The millionaire. He's gonna be easier to find anyway than these two, uh. these two . . . And he has the wealth, uh, the resources obviously, and there is no reason, no FUCKING reason, why his wife should go out and owe money and they pee on your rug. Am I wrong?
-No, but--
-Am I wrong!
-Yeah, but--
-Donny! Please!
-Way to go, Dude. If you will it, it is no dream.
-You're fucking twenty minutes late. What the fuck is that?
-Theodore Herzel.
-Huh?
-State of Israel. If you will it, Dude, it is no--
-What the fuck're you talking about? The carrier. What's in the fucking carrier?
-Huh? Oh--Cynthia's Pomeranian. Can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture.
-What the fuck are you--
-I'm saying, Cynthia's Pomeranian. I'm looking after it while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
-You brought a fucking Pomeranian bowling?
-Hey, man, if my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, I'd tell her to go fuck herself. Why can't she board it?
-First of all, Dude, you don't have an ex, secondly, it's a fucking show dog with fucking papers. You can't board it. It gets upset, its hair falls out.
-Hey man--
-Come on Walter, it's just--it's Smokey. So his toe slipped over a little, it's just a game.
-Smokey my friend, you're entering a world of pain.
-Hey Walter--
-Walter, they're calling the cops, put the piece away.
-Walter, you can't do that. These guys're like me, they're pacificists. Smokey was a conscientious objector.
-You know Dude, I myself dabbled with pacifism at one point. Not in Nam, of course--
-And you know Smokey has emotional problems!
-You mean--beyond pacifism?
-Huh. I did not know that. Well, it's water under the bridge. And we do enter the next round-robin, am I wrong?
-No, you're not wrong--
-Am I wrong!
-Okay then. We play Quintana and O'Brien next week. They'll be pushovers.
-Just, just take it easy, Walter.
-That's your answer to everything, Dude. And let me point out--pacifism is not--look at our current situation with that camelfucker in Iraq-- pacifism is not something to hide behind.
-Well, just take 't easy, man.
-I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
-Yeah? Wavin' a gun around?!
-Yeah, but he's a fucking pervert, Dude.
-Huh?
-Huh.
-Anyway. How much they offer you?
-Twenty grand. And of course I still keep the rug.
-Just for making the hand-off?
-...They gave Dude a beeper, so whenever these guys call--
-What if it's during a game?
-I figure it's easy money, it's all pretty harmless. I mean she probably kidnapped herself.
-That...fucking...bitch!
-Those rich fucks! This whole fucking thing-- I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this fucking strumpet--
-I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.
-Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
-Walter, face it, there isn't any connection. It's your roll.
-Have it your way. The point is--
-It's your roll--
-The fucking point is--
-The what?
-What the hell is this?
-My dirty undies. Laundry, Dude. The whites.
-Walter, I'm sure there's a reason you brought your dirty undies--
-Thaaaat's right, Dude. The weight. The ringer can't look empty.
-Walter--what the fuck are you thinking?
-Well you're right, Dude, I got to thinking. I got to thinking why should we settle for a measly fucking twenty grand--
-We? What the fuck we? You said you just wanted to come along--
-My point, Dude, is why should we settle for twenty grand when we can keep the entire million. Am I wrong?
-Yes you're wrong. This isn't a fucking game, Walter--
-Oh shit. Walter.
-What the fuck is going on there?
-They hung up, Walter! You fucked it up! You fucked it up! Her life was in our hands!
-Easy, Dude.
-We're screwed now! We don't get shit and they're gonna kill her! We're fucked, Walter!
-Ya see? Nothing is fucked up here, Dude. Nothing is fucked. These guys are fucking amateurs--
-Shutup, Walter! Don't fucking say peep when I'm doing business here.
-Yeah. So as long as we get her back, nobody's in a position to complain. And we keep the baksheesh.
-Terrific, Walter. But you haven't told me how we get her back. Where is she?
-...Huh?
-Yeah. That's a great plan, Walter. That's fucking ingenious, if I understand it correctly. That's a Swiss fucking watch.
-FUCK.
-What'd he say? Where's the hand- off?
-There is no fucking hand-off, Walter! At a wooden bridge we throw the money out of the car!
-Huh?
-We can't do that, Dude. That fucks up our plan.
-Well call them up and explain it to 'em, Walter! Your plan is so fucking simple, I'm sure they'd fucking understand it! That's the beauty of it Walter!
-Wooden bridge, huh?
-I'm throwing the money, Walter! We're not fucking around!
-The bridge is coming up! Gimme the ringer, Dude! Chop-chop!
-Fuck that! I love you, Walter, but sooner or later you're gonna have to face the fact that you're a goddamn moron.
-Walter!
-Your wheel, Dude! I'm rolling out!
-What the fuck?
-Your wheel! At fifteen em-pee-aitch I roll out! I double back, grab one of 'em and beat it out of him! The uzi!
-You didn't think I was rolling out of here naked!
-Aitz chaim he, Dude. As the ex used to say.
-What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What the fuck're we gonna tell Lebowski?
-Huh? The problem is--what do you mean what's the--there's no--we didn't-- they're gonna kill that poor woman--
-What the fuck're you talking about? That poor woman--that poor slut-- kidnapped herself, Dude. You said so yourself--
-No, Walter! I said I thought she kidnapped herself! You're the one who's so fucking certain--
-Walter, what'm I gonna tell Lebowski?
-I told that fuck down at the league office-- who's in charge of scheduling?
-Who gives a shit, Walter? What about that poor woman? What do we tell--
-Yeah, and in the meantime what do I tell Lebowski?
-That's it. I'm out of here.
-But Walter, we didn't make the fucking hand- off! They didn't get, the fucking money and they're gonna-- they're gonna--
-Walter--
-Who's got a fucking million fucking dollars parked in the trunk of our car out here?
-"Our" car, Walter?
-You don't know, Walter? You seem to know the answer to everything else!
-Hmm. Well, we were in a handicapped spot. It, uh, it was probably towed.
-It's been stolen, Walter! You fucking know it's been stolen!
-Well, certainly that's a possibility, Dude--
-That wasn't her toe.
-Whose toe was it, Walter?
-How the fuck should I know? I do know that nothing about it indicates--
-The nail polish, Walter.
-Fine, Dude. As if it's impossible to get some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe--
-Someone else's--where the fuck are they gonna--
-You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
-But Walter--
-I'll get you a toe by this afternoon--with nail polish. These fucking amateurs. They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit our- selves with fear. Jesus Christ. My point is--
-They're gonna kill her, Walter, and then they're gonna kill me--
-Well that's just, that's the stress talking, Dude. So far we have what looks to me like a series of victimless crimes--
-What about the toe?
-Lady, I got buddies who died face- down in the muck so you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!
-All right, I'm leaving. I'm sorry ma'am.
-I figure my only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.
-Now that is ridiculous, Dude. No one is going to cut your dick off.
-Thanks Walter.
-Not if I have anything to say about it.
-Yeah, thanks Walter. That gives me a very secure feeling.
-Dude--
-That makes me feel all warm inside.
-Now Dude--
-They're nihilists.
-Huh?
-They kept saying they believe in nothing.
-Yeah.
-And let's also not forget--let's not forget, Dude--that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city-- that isn't legal either.
-What're you, a fucking park ranger now?
-No, I'm--
-Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot!
---We're sympathizing here, Dude--
-He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the In-and-Out Burger--
-The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose.
-Who the fuck is that?
-Huh?
-Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?
-Who the f--have you ever heard of a little show called Branded, Dude?
-Yeah.
-All but one man died? There at Bitter Creek?
-Yeah yeah, I know the fucking show Walter, so what?
-Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 156 episodes, Dude.
-Uh-huh.
-The bulk of the series.
-Uh-huh.
-Not exactly a lightweight.
-No.
-And yet his son is a fucking dunce.
-Uh.
-Fuck me, man! That kid's already spent all the money!
-Is this your homework, Larry?
-Look, man, did you--
-Dude, please!. . . Is this your homework, Larry?
-Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry?
-Is the car out front yours?
-Is this your homework, Larry?
-Look, Larry. . . Have you ever heard of Vietnam?
-Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter!
-You're going to enter a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know you stole a car--
-And the fucking money!
-Walter, if you're there, pick up the fucking phone. Pick it up, Walter, this is an emergency. I'm not--
-Dude?
-Walter, listen, I'm at my place, I need you to come pick me up--
-I can't drive, Dude, it's erev shabbas.
-Huh?
-Erev shabbas. I can't drive. I'm not even supposed to pick up the phone, unless it's an emergency.
-It is a fucking emergency.
-I understand. That's why I picked up the phone.
-THEN WHY CAN'T YOU--fuck, never mind, just call Donny then, and ask him to--
-Dude, I'm not supposed to make calls--
-I mean we totally fucked it up, man. We fucked up his pay-off. And got the kidnappers all pissed off, and the big Lebowski yelled at me a lot, but he didn't do anything. Huh?
-Well it's, sometimes the cathartic, uh.
-I'm saying if he knows I'm a fuck- up, then why does he still leave me in charge of getting back his wife? Because he fucking doesn't want her back, man! He's had enough! He no longer digs her! It's all a show! But then, why didn't he give a shit about his million bucks? I mean, he knew we didn't hand off his
-What's your point, Dude?
-His million bucks was never in it, man! There was no money in that briefcase! He was hoping they'd kill her! You throw out a ringer for a ringer!
-Yeah?
-Shit yeah!
-Okay, but how does all this add up to an emergency?
-Huh?
-I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money, but my point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life and death--
-Walter, come off it. You're not even fucking Jewish, you're--
-What the fuck are you talking about?
-You're fucking Polish Catholic--
-What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
-Yeah, and you were--
-You know this!
-And you were divorced five fucking years ago.
-Yeah? What do you think happens when you get divorced? You turn in your library card? Get a new driver's license? Stop being Jewish?
-This driveway.
-I'm as Jewish as fucking Tevye
-It's just part of your whole sick Cynthia thing. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.
-AS IF WE WOULD EVER DREAM OF TAKING YOUR BULLSHIT MONEY!
-It's all over, man! We call your fucking bluff!
-WALTER, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! HE'S CRIPPLED! PUT HIM DOWN!
-Oh, shit.
-He can't walk, Walter!
-Walter, you fuck!
-Shit, Dude, I didn't know. I wouldn't've done it if I knew he was a fucking crybaby.
-Sure you'll see some tank battles. But fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle.
-Uh-huh.
-I mean 'Nam was a foot soldier's war whereas, uh, this thing should be a fucking cakewalk. I mean I had an M16, Jacko, not an Abrams fucking tank. Just me and Charlie, man, eyeball to eyeball.
-Yeah.
-Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
-Hey, cool it Walter. Listen, pal, there never was any money. The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, man, so take it up with him.
-What's mine is mine.
-Hy God! They shot him, Walter!
-No Dude.
-There weren't any shots.
-Then what's...
-It's a heart attack.
-Wha.
-Call the medics, Dude.
-Wha. . . Donny--
-Walter Sobchak.
-Well can we--
-We're scattering the fucking ashes!
-Walter--
-Goddamnit Walter! You fucking asshole!
-You make everything a fucking travesty!
-What about that shit about Vietnam!
-Dude, I'm sorry--
-Shit Dude, I'm sorry--
-WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY, SHITHEAD!
-Dude, this is Smokey. Look, I don't wanna be a hard-on about this, and I know it wasn't your fault, but I just thought it was fair to tell you that Gene and I will be submitting this to the League and asking them to set aside the round. Or maybe forfeit it to us--
-Shit!
-Dude here.
-Who is this?
-Dude the Bagman. Where do you want us to go?
-Shut the fuck up. Hello?
-Yeah?
-Dude here.
-Okay, vee proceed. But only if there is no funny stuff.
-Yeah.
-So no funny stuff. Okay?
-Dude.
-Another Caucasian, Gary.
-Right, Dude.
-Huh? No, she, she hit me right here.
-Well sir, it's this rug I have, really tied the room together-
-You told Brandt on the phone, he told me. So where do I fit in?
-Well they were looking for you, these two guys, they were trying to--
-I'll say it again, all right? You told Brandt. He told me. I know what happened. Yes? Yes?
-So you know they were trying to piss on your rug--
-Did I urinate on your rug?
-You mean, did you personally come and pee on my--
-Hello! Do you speak English? Parla usted Inglese? I'll say it again. Did I urinate on your rug?
-Well no, like I said, Woo peed on the rug--
-Hello! Hello! So every time--I just want to understand this, sir-- every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the--
-Come on, man, I'm not trying to scam anybody here, I'm just--
-You're just looking for a handout like every other--are you employed, Mr. Lebowski?
-Look, let me explain something. I'm not Mr. Lebowski; you're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That, or Duder. His Dudeness. Or El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing--
-Are you employed, sir?
-Employed?
-You don't go out and make a living dressed like that in the middle of a weekday.
-Is this a--what day is this?
-But I do work, so if you don't mind--
-No, look. I do mind. The Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this will not stand, man. I mean, if your wife owes--
-Ah fuck it.
-It's funny. I can look back on a life of achievement, on challenges met, competitors bested, obstacles overcome. I've accomplished more than most men, and without the use of my legs. What. . . What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?
-Dude.
-Huh?
-I don't know, sir.
-Is it. . . is it, being prepared to do the right thing? Whatever the price? Isn't that what makes a man?
-Mind if I smoke a jay?
-'Scuse me?
-Bunny Lebowski. . . She is the light of my life. Are you surprised at my tears, sir?
-Fuckin' A.
-Where's my goddamn money, you bum?!
-Well we--I don't--
-C'mon man, who're you gonna believe? Those guys are--we dropped off the damn money--
-WHAT?!
-I--the royal we, you know, the editorial--I dropped off the money, exactly as per--Look, I've got certain information, certain things have come to light, and uh, has it ever occurred to you, man, that given the nature of all this new shit, that, uh, instead of running around blaming me, that this whole thing might just be, not, you know, not just such a
-What in God's holy name are you blathering about?
-Well sure, look at it! Young trophy wife, I mean, in the parlance of our times, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers-- and that's cool, that's cool-- but I'm saying, she needs money, and of course they're gonna say they didn't get it 'cause she wants more, man, she's gotta feed the monkey, I mean-- hasn't that ever occurred to you...?
-Brandt, give him the envelope.
-Well, she's back. No thanks to you.
-We know the briefcase was empty, man. We know you kept the million bucks yourself.
-Well? Aren't you?
-Well. . . yeah.
-Put me down, you son of a bitch!
-You monsters!
-Who the hell is he?
-Look at that fucking phony, Dude! Pretending to be a fucking millionaire!
-I said out. Now.
-This guy fucking walks. I've never been more certain of anything in my life!
-Oh, shit.
-Shit, sorry man.
-Smokey Huh?
-Over the line, Smokey! I'm sorry. That's a foul.
-Bullshit. Eight, Dude.
-Excuse me! Mark it zero. Next frame.
-Bullshit. Walter!
-Yeah, but--
-Am I wrong!?
-I'm not--
-Walter--
-YOU THINK I'M FUCKING AROUND HERE? MARK IT ZERO!!
-You happy, you crazy fuck?
-You come all the way down here to roust--
-Tom here's my ninth hard felon of the month. Six weeks he'll be sucking gas. In three years I'll be working Central Warrants. Jewboy Deputy D.A. over there wets his pants for fighters. Promised me the next spot he can wangle.
-Impressive.
-Whatta we do about the Mex?
-We'll take 'em in the morning.
-<i>You'll</i> take him.
-He's half yours, partner.
-He's all yours. And I'm not your partner.
-What?
-Why?
-Seems like he's doing me a favor, then.
-Two years.
-Then they weren't created to go after your "patient zero".
-You've been training two years to take me out. Here I am, the big, bad vampire hunter. So do it.
-What the hell are you doing, Blade?
-Where to first?
-This is our world you're entering. You may see things -- feeding. Just remember why you're here.
-What is it with you people and pain?
-What was that?
-You're hurt.
-I'll heal.
-What about Nomak?
-He escaped. You didn't tell me they were immune to silver and garlic.
-how long since he was bitten?
-Recognize him?
-From the surveillance footage in the bloodbank. He was one of the guard's Nomak attacked.
-Which means he turned about seventy-two hours ago.
-Right. So why is he dying? He doesn't appear to have any broken bones, no entry wounds of any kind -- what's killing him?
-No hemoglobin left. Their metabolisms are too fast. They burn out. That's why they're having to feed so often. Their systems are self destructing.
-If that's true, what about Nomak? He's been alive longer than the others.
-I've never seen anything like this. The Reapers are as different from us as we are from you. It's almost as if the virus is re-wiring their bodies, creating new, parasitic organs which consume the old ones.
-Like cancer with a purpose.
-He's right about one thing. We do have to survive.
-You don't have to hunt to do it.
-Blade. We've got six Reapers. They're all dead.
-Blade.
-Each day is a little life.
-What?
-Anyone else make it?
-Thank you.
-For what?
-It would've been easy for you to let me die back there today, but you didn't.
-You don't want to go there.
-Why?
-Because one of us is going to kill the other before this ends.
-It doesn't have to be like that. We don't have to be enemies.
-Get real. I was useful to Damaskinos as long as the hunt was still on. Now that it's over, all bets are off.
-Why do you hate us so much?
-I am a hunter. A weapon. It's what I do. It's in my blood.
-You're hurting me.
-It means "bloodbrother."
-How does it look?
-What do you want me to do?
-How do you feel?
-You came back for me.
-Did you think I wouldn't?
-Let's just hope you've kicked the Thirst for good. I'll be watching you close. You start to back-slide --
-I agree. We play along for now, we might wind up learning something about how their world ticks.
-What do you think?
-Sounds like a plan.
-What do you really think?
-He's right. They'll smell that you're human. Stay here, watch our backs.
-I don't like it.
-I thought you were supposed to be watching our backs.
-Where were you, Whistler?
-You ask me, you and Miss Muffet are getting a mite too cozy for my taste.
-I am worrying. Seems to me, you're starting to get confused as to which side of the line you're standing on.
-Pretty hollow words coming from a man who spent the last year running with the enemy.
-What the hell is that supposed to mean?
-Eau de suckhead. Tasty.
-Your security's for shit, kid.
-Where the hell have you been?
-What's your problem, Whistler?
-I did some checking on that Carter Stevens character. That familiar of theirs who claimed he was with the NIH? Turns out he used to work for them, but he doesn't anymore.
-Come on, Blade. Talk to me!
-And so will we.
-Look, I care about the humans who are dying, not you, got it?
-Spare me the race card, OJ. We're not going out into the sun. It's too risky.
-Must be hundreds of these skeletons here.
-So?
-Put it back in park, Blade.
-Thought you were dead.
-It has been said, you may have enemies whom you hate, but not enemies whom you despise. Be proud of your enemy: then his success shall be yours, too. In that regard, I should thank you.
-You want me to hunt them for you.
-The genetic material you spliced into Nomak -- Where did you get it?
-True, but thanks to you, we know his weakness. We can keep him contained. It's just a matter of time before we hunt him down.
-And why is that?
-You got something in mind, Blade?
-Gonna try and OD Whistler on a retroviral cure.
-Motion sensors. Looks like Zone Three.
-So you're going to do this?
-What's going on?
-He was here. Watching us.
-Nomak?
-Kiss your ass goodbye, Reinhardt.
-So that's down and dirty. Got anything to say for yourself?
-Hey, hey! The fuck you doing?!
-Getting your attention, Paco.
-Oh yeah? Like how little? In case you hadn't noticed, we lost two men while you were out farting around.
-Listen, hillbilly, you are a cunt-hair away from cowboy heaven.
-We want to attract them, not scare them off.
-What the fuck you doing?
-His name is Jared Nomak.
-I would hate to think you were losing your perspective. Who do you think God favors in the web? The spider or the fly?
-Nomak said something to Blade in Greek. Athelfiki singenia ex amato. Where did he learn that?
-From his father, of course.
-We're locked in.
-Are you insane? He'll kill us both!
-Yes?
-They've made contact with the Reapers.
-Any casualties?
-An inevitability, I suppose. Nyssa was not among them, I trust.
-No. This is a dangerous game, you're playing, Damaskinos.
-You worry too much, Stevens. I have assurance from our friend inside that events are unfolding as scripted.
-I see from your questionnaire that you don't have any immediate next of kin?
-Not that I'm in contact with.
-Nobody to call in case of an emergency?
-No -- Does that mean I can't be a donor?
-Your blood has a very rare phenotype, one that's quite valuable to people like us.
-Tell me something, Skid --
-Scud.
-Whatever -- What'd you do to the Charger?
-The pimp-mobile? Just made a few after market modifications. Nitrous-oxide injection system, forged aluminum pistons and crankshaft, higher flowing fuel pump.
-Gave it a more aggressive exhaust profile ramping.
-Fuck yeah. Whole package'll crank this betty up another three-hundred horsepower.
-Where'd you dig up this shit-bird anyway?
-Hey, you think I don't know what's at stake here? We practically compromised our whole operation to save your puckered old ass! And for what?
-This whole deal's giving me a serious case of the butt-willies.
-The hell are you fiddling with there?
-Tweaked the phosphor rod, modified the collimated beam, wanna concentrate the light, get something like a UV laser going.
-You're wasting your time, already been tried.
-Yeah, but you didn't have the Scudster working on it, did you?
-Nope. Back then we did not.
-So how long have you known Blade, anyway?
-Going on twenty years now.
-Blade doesn't talk about the old days much.
-Pretty.
-What about you? You're not coming?
-Yeah, your little cootchie knew.
-You little shit. When did they get to you?
-Whistler!
-She's been bitten.
-You should've killed her, then.
-I had to increase the dose. You're building up a resistance to the serum --
-Stupidity.
-Maybe not. I did some checking, she's a hematologist. Knowledge like that might come in handy.
-Get in. You’re leaving.
-What took you so long?
-Going somewhere?
-Don't try to talk --
-Listen. You have to -- finish me off. You don't want me coming back.
-Whistler, I --
-Beautiful day, isn't it?
-How can you be out here?
-It's not very effective in direct sunlight, but it's a start. The goal, of course, is to be like you, "the Day-walker".
-I don't buy it.
-Why not? The future of our race runs through your bloodstream. You've got the best of both worlds, Blade. All of our strengths and none of our weaknesses.
-Maybe I don't see it that way.
-Oh, so it's back to pretending we're human again, is it? Spare me the Uncle Tom routine. You can't keep denying what you are. You're one of us, Blade. You always have been.
-You're wrong.
-The pause that refreshes -- Care for some? Smells good, doesn't it? Pungent, with just an irrepressible hint of iron.
-Pass.
-You're not going anywhere.
-No longer.
-Who dies first?
-Guess you're not quite as invulnerable as you thought.
-You're wrong -- a few minutes more, and my transition will be complete. Even your sword won't be able to affect me then.
-You're too human, Blade.
-Is something wrong, my friend?
-You're blind --
-Hold out your hands.
-I didn't come here to get my palms read. I need something translated.
-This is an old tongue, from an old world. It concerns LaMagra.
-Who is LaMagra?
-The Day Walker's blood is a disparador -- a trigger, you see? For LaMagra's return. One need only consume it and the spirit of his ancestors will settle upon him. "And the Sleeper will rise from the shadows anew, cleansing the world in a Tide of Blood."
-"The Blood Tide".
-Yes. The vampire apocalypse. It is said that all who feel its taint will succumb to the Thirst.
-I am tired. Dawn is coming.
-But I just got here --
-You shouldn't be here.
--- he's a vampire.
-Why?
-Because you're tainted. The venom's still inside you. You could still turn on us.
-And you honestly expect me to believe all this?
-I don't care what you believe. I saved your life once, I don't plan on making a habit of it. You want my advice, you'll be out of the city by nightfall. If you're stupid enough to stay, that's your business.
-I can't just leave. I have a life here, a career --
-I can go to the police. I have blood samples back at the hospital. I can show them.
-Do it. You'll be dead before you can file the complaint.
-How did you know?
-Figured they'd send someone after you. Thought I'd wait around and see who showed up.
-You used me as bait?!
-It worked, didn't it?
-But, he could've --
-But he's a policeman --
-That's a glyph, kind of like a vampire cattle brand. That means Officer Friendly here is someone's property. Any of the other vampire's try to bleed him, they'll have to answer to Friendly's owner -- This glyph belongs to Deacon Frost. We've been tracking him for a while now --
-Why in God's name would anyone want to work for them?
-Because they're vampire wanna-bes. If they're loyal, if they prove themselves, then their masters will turn them.
-And that's a good thing?
-What are you doing?!
-You can't do this, he's human, it's murder.
-Look, if what you say is true, if there's a chance I could turn into one of them, then I've got no choice, do I? I have to work with you. I need to learn everything I can about them. It's the only way I'll be able to find a cure for myself.
-There is no cure.
-What are you looking at?
-What do you see here?
-Graffiti --
-I know this place -- it's a blood bank.
-You let him go -- An hour ago you were ready to kill a man for less, this one didn't even talk.
-Looks like we hit pay-dirt. This place is crawling with them. See the valets over there? They're vampires. So is the doorman.
-How can you tell?
-So many of them -- I still can't believe they're real.
-There are worse things than vampires out there.
-Like what?
-What is this place?
-Some kind of archive --
-Isn't this all a little high-tech? I thought vampires were more into cobwebs and coffins.
-You're hurt --
-What am I injecting you with?
-It's dark in here.
-I can't close my eyes without hearing her scream.
-Those aren't real memories. No one has that kind of recall.
-I do. I remember from day one. People staring at me, sensing I was different. Watching the fear grow in their eyes, knowing in their hearts I wasn't human.
-Just get out of here.
-I made a trip to the hospital last night, borrowed some equipment.
-Is he sick?
-You care about him, don't you?
-My mother used to say that a cold heart is a dead heart.
-Any progress?
-Some. It's been slow --
-You don't look so good.
-For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
-Are you all right?
-I've been better --
-How long have we been driving?
-Is it bad?
-It won't work on you.
-Get out of here --
-I'm not leaving without you.
--- tearing me -- apart.
-I know. Take some of my blood.
-No --
-I can't -- I won't be able to stop --
-I never imagined I'd be so happy to see the sun rise -- It's over, isn't it?
-How's it going, Kam?
-You're a week early.
-Whistler says I'm building up a resistance to it.
-I was afraid that might happen.
-Maybe it's time to start exploring other alternatives.
-But you -- died --
-Deacon brought me back.
-Please --
-How could you be a part of this?
-These are my people now. I'm one of them.
-You don't have to be.
-I wish you could see the world as I do. Deacon opened my eyes. There's no turning back from that.
-I don't believe that.
-This isn't human blood.
-Then what is it?
-The red blood cells are biconvex, which is theoretically impossible. They're hypochromic, there's virtually no hemoglobin in them. Look at the PMNs, they're binucleated, they should be mononucleated.
-Curtis, it's three in the morning. I'm really not in the mood for one of your practical jokes.
-It's not a joke. I've got the stiff sitting in the morgue right now -- look, just come up and see him, okay? Five minutes, that's all I ask.
-I thought you promised to give me some distance?
-Five minutes, not a second more. And I don't want to hear a word about "us".
-You haven't started in on the internal organs?
-That's weird --
-What?
-Tell me something, honestly, you ever have second thoughts about us?
--- but then I remember what an ass-hole you were and I'm snapped back to reality.
-Blade. Once again, our interests have fallen victim to his ridiculous crusade. He must be destroyed.
-The Day Walker represents a unique opportunity. We'd be fools to waste it by killing him.
-Deacon Frost. You refuse to speak our language, you insult the House of Erebus by using the humans' gutter-tongue, have you no respect for tradition?
-I see. And what would you have us do with this "half-breed"?
-Study him. Unlock the secrets of his DNA. He's the key we've been looking for.
-The shadows suit us, Frost. We've existed this way for thousands of years. Who are you to challenge our ways?
-These archives are restricted to members of the House of Erebus.
-Please. You and the other Elders wouldn't know what to do with these texts if your lives depended on it. Which, of course, they do.
-You're wasting your time, Frost. Far greater scholars than you have tried to decipher these words. Whatever secrets they hold have been lost.
-How do you like that? Right on time.
-How many of you are there?
-A few thousand scattered about the globe. In the past, we've had to restrict our numbers for fear of discovery. That won't be necessary after tonight.
-What happens then?
-The Blood Tide. Our long-prophesied holy war against the humans. There's a force, you see -- a spirit that exists in our blood. I've discovered a way to invoke it.
-LaMagra --
-LaMagra isn't a physical being. He's a spirit, requiring a flesh and blood host in order to manifest himself.
-You.
-There's no need for any of this. Your condition can be treated. Whistler and I were working on a cure when --
-What makes you think we want to be cured? Blood is only part of the equation. The hunt, the killing, that's what the Thirst is really about.
-But you use blood banks --
-You're a monster.
-Blade --
-I was wrong about you, Blade. You were never one of us. You're a traitor to your race.
-What -- ?
-Who are you people?
-So what do you use, then? A stake?
-Consider it a parting gift. Vampire mace -- silver nitrate, essence of garlic.
-So that's it? You guys just patch me up and send me on my way?
-We keep in radio contact.
-You've been listening in the whole time?
-Whistler!
-Why didn't you tell me the truth about him?
-Blade's unique, you know. A one in a billion anomaly. He can withstand sunlight, garlic, even silver. But he still has the Thirst.
-What happens if he doesn't take the serum?
-The Thirst overcomes him, just like the others. It's not something he can control. The problem is, time's running out. His body's starting to reject the serum. And so far, all my efforts to find a cure have ended in failure --
-No offense, Whistler, but you're not exactly working with state of the art equipment here. You might have missed something.
-Why do you hunt them?
-I had a family once -- a wife, three daughters. Then a drifter named Deacon Frost came calling one evening --
-He killed them?
-How did you escape?
-And now you're using Blade to exact your revenge?
-I wouldn't go in there if I were you. It's best to leave him alone when he's like this.
-All right, let's start with the basics -- why do vampires need to drink blood?
-Their own blood can't sustain hemoglobin.
-Basically you'd have to re-write the victim's DNA, alter it so that the DNA will produce proteins capable of generating hemoglobin.
-How?
-On me, yes. On Blade, I'm not so sure -- The problem is, Blade didn't contract the vampire virus from a bite like I did. He was born with it. The irony is, I could probably cure every vampire but him.
-What happened to the power?
---and if she ever did--
---or incredibly fucking naive.
-Why don't you just cut it down and count the goddamn rings--who <u>cares</u>?
-'Give you a hand. I think my sleep for the night just ended.
-I need you to talk to me, talk to me about the dreams--about James, the other boys.
-I don't...I don't understand them myself.
-Try, please, Anna--
---bad boys, mean boys, <u>cowardly</u> boys--just like Domini.
-What do you mean?
-A coward too. That's why she had to go.
-What happened to her, where did she go?
-Don't know--just that she was afraid--
-What, are you alright?
-Not that I can see.
-No.
-You killed Domini, didn't you, witch??
---Jamie Kurth, Jonathan Edmunds--
-Please! Please...? I haven't done anything.
-Bullshit! Talk!
-Domini?
-Yes.
-What're you doing there?
-Trying to find the energy.
-Inside the grave?
-Her father's Sheriff of Taos County.
---stop it! Stop talking about it! I'm gonna freak!
-Why?
-Any number of reasons--pick one, it's as good as the other.
-I was out hiking, camping the past two days--that's what did it--<u>I</u> killed it--
---doubtful, Mrs. Leavitt. The main thing to remember is, whatever the reason, it was for the best-- it meant something was wrong.
-Something was wrong.
-Look, this is not my field of expertise. You seem stabilized, but why take any chances? Let's keep you overnight and have the Staff obstetrician do a follow-up tomorrow.
-No!
-Mrs. Leavitt--
---I'm not staying here!
-Let's talk to your husband--
-Shit? This is from "Josh's Blair Witch Mix," man!
-Down or off--you're giving me a migraine.
-Just trying to set the mood for the mission--get the "feeling."
-The bitched-out babe in back here is one Anna Tassio--we met one dark and stormy night in a Blair Witch chat room, we all did--
---Christ almighty--
---but she was nicer then--sweeter-- she hadn't vomited twice already like today--
---it's called "morning sickness," asshole--
-'Thought those all got stolen.
-Guess they thought it was safe to put some up again.
-Why are we here?
-She e-mailed me yesterday this is where we should meet her.
-What's she look like?
---how old?
-I dunno, probably right up there, based on her resume.
-"The Voiiiiices made him do it."
-Where they found the backpacks and all the film a year later.
-Oak?
-Yeah, so?
-This is funny?? This is tens of thousands of fucking dollars! You pricks! I'll see you in fucking court!!
---nothing left to play 'em on, honey.
-Oh, sorry, right.
-You can be goddamn sure, though, I'm going to be looking at every second of 'em when I get back to Baltimore--I get proof who stole my shit and I call the cops!
-Druid Hill Park.
-That's a joke?
-Looks like business is booming.
---the witch kills children--
-Hang you like the witch you are, unless--
-Cheery little place.
-Whatzername--the "psychic" Anna hired.
-So says her website.
-Jesus.
-What?
-No, the kids were actors, the townspeople were real. Her, the Sheriff, the Convenience Store guy--
---<u>myth</u>--
---doesn't just pop out of thin air. It spins off of real events. At some point there <u>was</u> a Blair Witch--
-No.
-You sure?
---chalked just hours ago by ancient adolescents. It's called vandalism.
-That's a sapling--<u>this</u> mother's got to be three hundred years old, minimum.
-It's a <u>sketch</u>, Anna--it's not to- scale cartography; the tree was not the kids' focus--
---do you <u>agree</u> it's that <u>old</u>, Nick?
---brother of Rustin Parr's maternal grandfather, somewhere after 1858--
---<u>whoever</u>--they built an entire house <u>around</u> a <u>tree</u>. Sticking up right through the living room. Somebody like to explain that to me?
-The rest of the family was crazy as Rusty Parr.
-Oh, <u>c'mon</u>--even you have to admit this is weird.
-Your parents didn't have a <u>bigger</u> one?
-It was <u>free</u>--I recall that was the chief selling point for you.
-No offense, sweetheart: fuck you.
-You know, Nick, you've been something of a total asshole the past few days.
-Pardon me, I've had a few things on my mind--like putting this safari together.
-Like how weirded-out you are with this pregnancy thing.
-Let's just leave it at: it was one hell of a surprise.
-You don't want it though.
-Your body, your call.
-Why is there no "our" here?
-Could we take this up later--like indoors, without half the world listening?
-You feel no need to get married or anything.
-Anna--
-What?
-You said the name "James."
-Baby names?
-I don't know. Nightmare.
-You want me to scooch over next to you?
---or someone--
-This is a goddamn disaster. Let's just pack it up and go.
-I want to see the tapes.
-And what do you possibly think you're going to fucking see there?
-I think we get the gist.
-For once could you just sit down, shut up, and give something a <u>chance</u>?
-We're leaving--case dismissed for lack of evidence. Maybe on the ride home we can figure how the fuck we're going to graduate with no thesis.
-I'm not going anywhere, 'til--
---now c'mon!
-We'll stay overnight, get a hotel--
-What can I get you?
-Nothing. I dunno--
---you should get back into bed.
-Was that you laughing?
-What?
-Just now?
-No.
-Just...try and go back to sleep.
-I get dreams. I don't like 'em.
-What'd you dream?
-Little boys. Looking up my skirt as I danced. Giggling.
-I don't know what it is, but there is something <u>happening</u> here, and it's starting to scare the living shit out me, and look, I'm just <u>not</u> going to argue the point anymore--you want to stay here, stay, but I've got to get the fuck out of here, and I'm begging you to come <u>with</u> me.
-I can't.
-Then I'm going--
-I want to see something!
-Whatever you want.
-The clothes--take 'em off-- I want to see every square inch--
-Are you marked like this??
-Why?
---like you hurt the baby--
-Oh, Jesus, no--
-You're gonna owe me the rest of your life, bud.
-I know, I know.
-Absolutely.
-<u>Before</u> 5:00--
---hours before--
---Christ, they find out I let you have it for the weekend--
-<u>This</u> is what you wanted enhanced?
-Yeah.
-You mind me asking: why the fuck?
-The, uh, blur there.
-I know you're in there, you piece of shit!
-You have to go.
-Not until I get that Beta Cam back! We're both in a world of shit here!!
-I can't.
-It's my fucking <u>job</u>, man!!
-You want a hand?
-Beer and weed is what I've got.
-So, I hear you're from New Mexico!
---last thing I remember were those four clowns shooting the movie--
-<u>One</u> set. Everything from midnight on--
-How'd you know they were--
---hunch. Just sort've saw 'em there.
-My ass--you saw those four fucking baboons put 'em there!
-I don't think it was them.
-Oh, who did then? Blair Witch? Snatching equipment to make her own sequel?
-I don't know yet.
-Hey, <u>chill</u>, man--
-Something happened to Anna in Burkittsville, in the woods, I don't know.
-What? That made her lose the baby?
-This is a little nuts.
-Turn the tapes back on.
-Does it hurt?
-There, what? I didn't see anything.
-Back it up, rewind, whatever you call it.
-Okay, a blur.
-Can you zoom it or something, make it real close, real big?
-I'm the ebay Boy, remember? I can't exactly afford that kind of equipment.
-Can't you like just divine it?
-If I could do that, I'd be at the goddamn racetrack, not here.
-I got a friend at a Lab. I could get the whole thing blown-up, enhanced--
---go!
-So lemme see it.
-The witch?
---thank you, Heather Arendt--and arend't we glad you're here--a real witch--
-And let it be known--before we even get to Burkittsville--it's gonna be an eighteen thousand times better movie--for half the cost--
---which'd be about ten bucks--
-You're a complete fucking idiot, aren't you?
-From-the-movie-Mary-Brown, Trailer Park Bible Psycho?
-I don't believe this.
-I take it back--she <u>wasn't</u> an actor. She's a nutjob.
-That's what Josh and Mike said.
-You're not only an idiot, you're a goddamn <u>child</u>.
-Nice tent.
-Hadn't even opened the thing since Cub scouts.
-Never would've guessed.
-So where the hell am I going to sleep?
-If you're looking at me, look elsewhere.
-What movies?
-What I never could figure about the movie?
-What?
-Three people: two guys, a girl-- sleeping in the same motel room, the same tent night after night.
-Yeah?
-No fucking.
-No.
-Made no sense. Scared out of their minds, and the greatest stress reliever in creation right at their fingertips. Nada.
-No sense at all. I'm a little stressed.
-We should be so lucky.
-What're you, crazy??
-Get <u>out</u> of here!
---yeah, a hand or something--
-Me, too.
-What about night?
-Used to be a meat-packing plant. Slaughter on the ground floor-- carcasses schlepped up on this thing for dissection and grinding and--
---Cotter: shut up.
-Get inside quick, they'll stop.
-Too busy eating us?
-Mi casa y su casa!
-Su casa y shit-o hole-o.
-English.
-Whatta you got, telescopic vision?
-Where <u>is</u> it?
-I got the tape enhanced--and I managed to sleaze a photo blow-up. Jesus, he's gonna kill me when he finds out about the camera.
-Where's Domini?
-Fire escape??
-She would've had to have a key, anyway, to lock the deadbolt behind her.
-Same trees. They took Elly Kedward out to the same kind of trees.
---I look and look in the tree, all I ever see, he's always there watching, that stupid owl, over and over--
---Cotter, where can I get on-line?
-Cotter?
-Fucking owl!
-You think it's possible the tree in the Parr foundation is the same one they tied Elly Kedward to?
-Boy Kurth.
-Where?
-Not the place you want to announce your arrival.
-How's she going to know where to--
-It's <u>freezing</u>.
-What the fuck--??
-The moon trying to shoot down through all these trees--can make things funky--
---I saw what I saw.
-Yeah. Me too.
-The cart they brought Elly Kedward into the woods with--
---into the <u>Black</u> <u>Hills</u> with--200- something miles from here--
-Be it still alive, James?
-I'd strongly advise you to join us--
-Nobody's going anywhere--
---hell, I don't think I'm ever leaving this place again--
-That's a "j."
-For "James?"
-Who?
---f'chrissake, Heather, it's not like the two of us are gonna doze off he leaves for two seconds--
---I don't trust anybody, not even me, anymore--
---it's the "Blair Witch Cult"--a copy-- some pages from--one of them on the site must've gotten my message--
---who?
-Remember....what Mary Brown said-- she could see the witch's hands on my face, her mouth sucking on mine.
-Hold this.
-What?
-This is her equally on-the-rag boy- friend, Nick Leavitt--
---turn the camera off--
---they're from UMass, doing some kind of fucking term paper--
---Graduate Thesis--
---Cotter--
---a Wiccan--
-We're not making Blair Witch II here.
-Cotter?
-I'm not finished.
-You drive, I'll handle the video, okay?
-What're you doing?
-This isn't about us.
-Was it <u>every</u> day or just semi- weekly you got your ass kicked as a kid?
-Either way, maybe there's a book in it, and they both make a ton of money.
-What?
-Okay, but--
-They're making "Blair Witch II," too.
-No problem, just give us 'til dawn and we're gone.
-<u>What</u>?
-How're the cameras doing?
---and none of 'em were mine! I-am-so-fucked, I-am-so-fucked-- where the hell was everybody???
-Asleep--
---what happened to the goddamn "Witch-watch??"
-Cotter, I think she's right. Why would those guys go to all the trouble of stealing the camera and all this other stuff and leave the tapes?
-Spite.
-403 41st Street, kids: home.
-I dunno it's safe to even get out of the car.
-Let's get inside.
-Just one lock in this neighbor- hood?
-Running a junk yard.
-There's four other angles, man, we haven't even--
-What--
---whatever you want, no problem--
-You wanna keep it down, she's trying to sleep.
-Sorry, I didn't think we were making that much noise.
-Well, she's got to be <u>somewhere</u> here.
-How much of that stuff you guys been smoking?
-Enough to keep sane.
-Chrissake: why <u>any</u> of this?
-It's Domini, it's not Domini, I don't care--all I know is <u>I'm</u> not dealing with something--<u>anything</u>-- snuffing me in my sleep. I want to do what we did in the woods-- surveillance of this whole place 24/7, with somebody monitoring those cameras every second. There's something, somebody here, I want to see 'em coming.
-I thought all your equipment got stolen.
-Just hold on!
-Just let it go, I've got you!
-What're you nuts--
---it's less than four feet, just--
-What?
-Why was <u>she</u> exempted, Nick?
-Ruins of the Rustin Parr house.
-What is all this shit?
-We're doing dusk-till-dawn taping of all the places where there've been alleged Blair Witch "sightings" --the Parr House, Coffin Rock, Tappy Creek.
-Why?
-She got <u>paid</u>.
-Look at those marks--just like in the movie.
---sacred and occult Scotch Tape.
-Oooh. Oooh.
-Ah, Domini?
-What?
-You planning on sleeping out there?
-Ripped? They look like they were <u>bit</u> off.
-That's almost a year's worth of work! Scumbags! Oh, Jesus, Jesus....
-Pointless.
-What?
-Someone want to tell me what's going on--
-The four of you really have too much spare fucking time on your hands, don't you?
-Women miscarry all the--
-What's that?
-Hmm? I dunno. Chafing from the backpack, something.
-That'd be up on your shoulder, maybe your lower back.
-What'd you see?
-For a blur?
-Cotter'll kill you.
-He'll never know.
-At least go drink it somewhere spilling it won't drive him to suicide.
-What is it you thought you saw on that tape?
-Still working on it.
-Elly Kedward?
-Dad...?
-Are you alright?
-Jesus.
-What?
-What?
-Slow it down, slow it down, whatever it is, we'll figure it out.
-That's why she kills children.
-You gonna be alright?
-Sure. I'm sorry.
-No big deal. I'm just trying to understand.
-Get some more beer.
-I think you closed the bar again. I'll have to go out.
-What're you afraid's going to happen?
---bullshit--
-The good old days: toasting marsh- mallows over a burning witch.
-They never burned witches in this country, they hanged them.
-She <u>wasn't</u> a witch.
-Finally got her back to sleep.
-Nick, what you should do is get her back up and get her to a goddamn <u>doctor</u>.
-Jesus, you don't think I know that? You don't think I've tried? She won't fucking <u>go</u>-- she won't leave this place.
-She's off her fucking rocker--
---I know!
-I'm sorry.
-Yeah, I know. It's...alright. We're all a little--
---a <u>lot</u>.
-Heather.
-Yeah.
-Okay. Hypothetically.
-Shoot.
-You think....there could've been something up in those woods that Anna--
-There's explanations. Rational explanations for everything that's happened. We'll drive ourselves crazy if we keep obsessing on supernatural what-ifs.
-What?
-Spare me.
-We are being fucked with here, someone or something.
-Domini.
-Why in the world would <u>she</u>--
-Domini's the only logical explanation.
-I can't do it!
-Gothic rune--the letter "S."
-Put 'em together that's a "k." James Kurth--
---or Lyme Disease or poison sumac, or God knows what-else we could have picked up in the woods.
-I should check on Anna.
-Check the monitor, she's <u>fine</u>.
-She's far from "fine."
-No. We <u>all</u> go.
-Anna--
-"It's why the witch kills children."
-I thought all witches were benign and good.
-What the fuck's going on here?
-Does she have marks, Nick--like the ones we have, that Domini had?
-Why?
-Does she, goddamnit??
-It's <u>possible</u> for chrissake--
-Like a blueprint for disembowelment.
-There are <u>other</u> explanations! She is not the goddamn witch, that's insane!
-Then just give me one of your explanations that all three of us'll buy.
-Good morning, Sheriff's Office.
-Yes! I need to speak to Sheriff Von Teer.
-He's in a meeting. Could I have him--
---it's urgent!
-Could I tell him what it's regarding?
-....Ma'am?
-I'm talking to Taos, New Mexico--
---yes--
---the Sheriff's Office--
---yes, Ma'am, can I help you with anything else?--
---his name's Von Teer! His daughter's named Domini!--
-She wants me to talk to you, Heather.
-Who <u>is</u> this??
-Your mother's pastor.
-What happened to my Dad??
-There was an accident early this morning. Another car. Your father's injuries were fatal.
-Yes.
-I'll tell your mother not to expect you at the funeral.
-Listen Meurice, you're gonna help me with a problem.
-You're gonna keep an eye on Marty and Ray, make sure nothing happens.
-Thanks, Meurice.
-Abby. What's the matter?
-Jesus, I got a hangover. Want a drink?
-No, I--
-...For you I answer the door. If you wanna stay here, that's fine. But I'm retired.
-Something happened with Marty and Ray--
-...Ray stole a shitload of money from Marty. Until both of 'em calm down I'm not getting involved.
-No Meurice, it's worse than that. Something really happened, I think Marty's dead--
-What?! Did Ray tell you that?
-...I mean, I don't know where he is, but he ain't dead.
-Meurice--
-...Ray?
-Yeah.
-What was that?
-Why d'you wanna leave all this?
-...Drive me to a motel?
-You can stay at my place, I'll drop you there.
-Where... where you going?
-See a guy.
-Don't go to the bar, Ray. I know him, that ain't a good idea.
-Who was it?
-What?
-On the phone. Was it for you?
-I don't know, he didn't say anything.
-Uh-huh. So how do you know it was a he?
-...I can find a place tomorrow, then I'll be outta your hair.
-Well... the couch would be all right...
-You can sleep on the bed if you want.
-Well... I'm not gonna put you out of your bed...
-You wouldn't be putting me out.
-I could've sworn I heard something.
-I knew it. 'Cause we wouldn't have heard anything if it was him. He's real careful. Fact is, he's anal.
-...Huh?
-...Well I'll be damned.
-...He sent me to a psychiatrist to see if he could calm me down some.
-Yeah? What happened?
-Psychiatrist said I was the healthiest person he'd ever met, so Marty fired him.
-...I don't know if you can fire a psychiatrist, exactly.
-Uh-huh.
-I said, Marty, how come you're anal and I gotta go to the psychiatrist?
-Nothing. He's like you, he doesn't say much.
-Thanks.
-Except when he doesn't say things they're usually nasty.
-...Mm-hmm.
-When you don't they're usually nice.
-...You ever get tired?
-Hello?
-Abby... you all right?
-Ray?... What time is it?
-...You all right?
-Okay, see ya... Thanks, Ray.
-...Ray?
-...What?
-Why didn't you get into bed?
-I didn't think I could sleep. I'm surprised you could. Are you all right?
-...You called me this morning.
-...I just wanted to let you know that everything was all right. I took care of everything. Now all we have to do is keep our heads.
-What happened?--Was Meurice there?
-Well... what happened?
-...Anyway, we got some time now. But we gotta be smart.
-Ray--
-...That's the only thing they told us in the service that was worth a goddamn--Where the hell's my windbreaker?
-...That's what's important.
-I... I mean what're you talking about, Ray? I haven't done anything funny.
-...Who?
-...What's going on with you two?
-...Where is everything?
-...You leaving?
-...But first I gotta know what happened.
-What do you want to know?
-...I don't know, wasn't it you? Maybe a burglar broke in, and you found--
-...So?
-If he does come in I'm not here... What were you drinking, Debra?
-Remy.
-You've got a very sophisticated palate.
-Thanks.
-Listen, I got tickets for the Oilers and the Rams next week in the Astrodome. Ever sat on the fifty yard line?
-You won't have to. I'll explain what a palate is.
-So how long have you know Meurice?
-...So what're you doing tonight?
-It'll pass.
-We don't seem to be communicating--
-You want to hustle me. I don't want to be hustled. It's as simple as that. Now that I've communicated, why don't you leave?
-I own the place.
-Christ, I'm getting bored.
-He needs a room, Dusty.
-I reckon I can hear him. TV option, that's a dollar twenty, makes nine eighty-six plus tax.
-Tell him the channels, Dusty.
-Sure don't.
-See, Wednesday's the special on RC Cola. I don't know if I explained about the TV option. If there's a TV in the room, you got to pay the option.
-And how many room got TV, Dusty?
-Hold it, hold it. What's tonight?
-What?
-What night is it?
-...Friday?
-Right. Friday night is Yankee night. Where're you from?
-...He gave me a little pearl-handled .38 for out first anniversary.
-Uh-huh.
-...Figured I'd better leave before I used it on him. I don't know how you can stand him.
-Well, I'm only an employee, I ain't married to him.
-...I don't know. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with him. Like maybe he's sick? Mentally?... Or is it maybe me, do you think?
-...What're you gonna do in Houston?
-I'll figure something out... How come you offered to drive me in this mess?
-I told you. I like you.
-See, I never knew that.
-Well now you do.
-...You know that car?
-No.
-What's the matter?
-...What was that back there?
-Back where?
-Sign.
-I don't know. Motel... Abby--
-Ray. Did you mean that, what you said before, or were you just being a gentleman?
-Abby, I like you, but it's no point starting anything now.
-Yeah.
-I mean, I ain't a marriage counselor--
-What "what"?
-Am I fired? You wanna hit me? What?
-I don't particularly want to talk to you.
-Well... if you're not gonna fire me I might as well quit.
-Then what'd you come here for?
-...You get a refund though, if you tell me who else she's been sluicing.
-I want that money. If you wanna tell me something, fine--
-What did you take these for?
-...Just doin' my job.
-You called me, I knew they were there, so what do I need these for?
-Well, I don't know... Call it a fringe benefit.
-How long did you watch her?
-Now that don't make much sense.
-...Anything else?
-...That's the test, ain't it? Test of true love--
-Got a job for you.
-...Well, if the pay's right and it's legal I'll do it.
-If the pay's right I'll do it.
-It's, uh... it's in reference to that gentleman and my wife. The more I think about it the more irritated I get.
-...Gee, I'm sorry to hear that. Can you tell me what you want me to do or is it a secret?
-You want me to kill 'em.
-I didn't say that. Well?
-Well what?
-What do you think?
-So, uh... this wouldn't interest you.
-I'm supposed to do a murder--two murders--and just trust you not to go simple on me and do something stupid. I mean real stupid. Now why should I trust you?
-For the money.
-...There's a big--
-I want you to go fishing.
-...What?
-Yeah. Is it...
-Ya catch any fish?
-...What?
-Ya catch any fish?
-Yeah...
-...What kind of fish?
-Just the ten thousand'll be fine.
-Dead, huh?
-...What did you do with the bodies?
-It's taken care of. The less you know about it the better.
-Something I got to ask you, Marty. I've been very very careful. Have you been very very careful?
-Of course.
-...I just made a call about that. It'll look fine.
-...it's too damn risky.
-...Count it if you want.
-Yeah, I know. Pour 'em short.
-Has Ray come in yet?
-No, he's off tonight. Where was he last night?
-How would I know?
-What's this?
-You said the usual--
-Red Label.
-Right. Sorry.
-Pour that back.
-What.
-Don't throw that out.
-Deuce in the corner needs help.
-What's this?
-What.
-This.
-Jack Daniels. Don't worry, I'm paying for it.
-That's not the point.
-What's the point?
-The point is we don't serve niggers here.
-...I thought you were dead. Going home?
-No. I think I'll stay right here in hell.
-Kind of a bleak point of view there, isn't it Marty?
-...I don't want that asshole near my money. I don't even want him in the bar.
-Howdy stranger.
-Meurice. Sorry I didn't show last night.
-Is Marty here?
-Not here tonight. Wasn't here last night. He's especially not back in his office.
-Thanks Meurice.
-Got a problem, Meurice?
-...Why?
-...and Abby. Maybe. But as far as I'm concerned that only leaves one fucking possibility.
-Where was I?
-You we telling me about the Ring of Fire.
-What day is it today, Angie?
-Tuesday.
-Tuesday is ladies' night.
-What?
-I sent a trunk home yesterday. This is all I have.
-You look good, Jeffrey. Did you have a nice flight?
-I think it's important not to get depressed. Depression is a terrible thing. They say it can bring on illness.
-Jeffrey. you're not going down by Lincoln, are you?
-Doctor Gynde. my whole family's sick. What's going on?
-Will you tell Mom when she gets home from the hospital that I've gone to dinner at Sandy Williams' house?
-Okay honey. that sounds nice. Jeffrey. I think you've got termites in the house.
-Oh yeah?. Have you seen any?
-I've seen a few.
-Well, I haven't seen any. I wouldn't worry about it. Look. I better go.
-I don't want to talk about it. Everything's okay now. I don't want to talk about it.
-Sometimes it helps to talk things over. for instance, many marriages are saved by.
-Frank. Come in.
-Hey, I brought some friends. and some beer.
-Suave. goddam are you suave, you fucker. You want some beer?
-Shit Ben! How the shit are ya?
-Fine Frank. Fine. How are you?
-Fuckin' good, real fuckin' good. You know this little tid bit, Dorothy, and this thing, here, is a neighbor. What the shit we're doin' with a neighbor, I don't know. goddam!!! This is the suavest guy I know. look at you. You're one beautiful fucker, Ben. I love this jacket and that cigarette holder of yours. shit, that is too fuckin' much. Where's those
-To your health, Frank.
-Shit. let's drink to something else. let's drink to fuckin'. Say here's to your fuck Frank.
-Frank, I have something for you. Excuse us everyone.
-See you Tuesday, Frank.
-Are you Detective Williams?
-Yes.
-My name is Jeffrey Beaumont - I live near you. I believe you know my father, Tom Beaumont - Beaumont's Hardware Store?
-Sure I do. I understand he's in the hospital. How is he?
-He's alright, I guess. I hope. They're doing tests, that's why I'm home from school. I was over at the hospital this morning and I was going home and in the field behind our neighborhood. there behind Vista, I found an ear.
-You did? A human ear?
-Yeah. I've got it here in this bag. I thought I should bring it to you.
-By the way, Jeffrey, this story isn't going to the press and I'm going to ask you to consider all you've heard strictly confidential. Do not discuss this business with anyone, but me, or other police personnel. Got it?
-Got it. Thanks for letting me in on as much as you did.
-Come into the study a minute.
-Detective Williams here. yeah. Tell him to go to Sergeant Milton. yeah, copy. Well, Jeffrey, you found something which is very interesting to us. Very interesting. I know you must be curious to know more. But. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you not only not to tell anyone about your find, but also not to ask more about the case. One
-I understand. I'm just real curious like you said.
-I was the same way when I was you age. I guess that's what got me into this business.
-It must be great.
-Jeffrey?
-Yes?
-These are beautiful. How's the case coming?
-Okay.
-Anything you can tell me?
-The criminals are winning.
-Is that why you say it's horrible?
-Yes.
-I guess you've seen some bad things.
-Yes I have - so bad I wouldn't poison your mind by telling you.
-Why do you do it?
-I won't let the bastards get me up against the wall. It's an act of defiance.
-What is this? What color is it?
-What color is it?
-Jeffrey! Come on in.
-Hi. Hi Sandy. I'm sorry to bother you, but I've got to talk to you.
-Okay. come on in. Looks like you had a bad face lift.
-Okay?
-And that man came out with a third man - this well-dressed guy. here's the photo. I think a girl named Dorothy Vallens is in trouble with these people. I think Frank has taken her husband and her son.
-I have no hard proof of any of this. Her address is also on the photos. I think these people are involved with drugs. and murder. I think Frank is killing drug dealers and. . and somehow Frank is getting all their drugs. I had to tell you I got slightly more involved in this than you wanted me to, but it's over now
-Well now Jeffrey, how did you come to get so involved?
-I can't tell you the whole story. I. I took it upon myself. I can't say more.
-Is Sandy part of this?
-No. not at all.
-Who knows you have these?
-Only you. and the photo lab.
-For now. Alright. you better be. And Sandy better not be involved with this, I can tell you. Be prepared to come in for further interrogation on this later.
-Detective Williams!! Detective Williams!!
-Detective Williams here. Is that you, Jeffrey?
-Yes it's me!!! Frank is on his way up to Dorothy's apartment. Oh no. Frank has a radio and is hearing everything we say!! Detective Williams. hurry. I'm in the apartment. hurry. I'm hiding in the back bedroom.
-Because of your information I alerted internal affairs to check out Detective Gordon. I had to keep on with him as if nothing was different. He slipped off on his own when he found out we were going to raid Frank's place.
-Does Dorothy know her husband is dead?
-Not yet.
-Hello, baby.
-Shut up. It's daddy. shithead.
-Hello, daddy.
-. MOMMY!.
-. mommy's here.
-Who's this fuck?
-He's a friend. from the neighborhood. we were just talking.
-Where are we going, Frank?
-Hey. Tits. I'm taking your neighbor to the country. maybe something for you too.
-Frank?
-You want to see him too, right?
-Yes, but.
-Look at these. What are these?
-Don't say PLEASE, Fuckhead. WHAT ARE THESE?
-Those are my breasts.
-Can I feel 'em?
-Frank. he didn't mean it. Leave him alone. come on. He didn't mean it.
-Frank gone?
-Yeah. but get outta here. He's comin' back.
-Bull.
-Alright, suit yourself.
-He's comin' back?. What for?
-'Cause he's comin' back, that's what for. Frank's got you really loaded tonight.
-Yeah, maybe so. Frank's got me. and you. and really it's all thanks to Don. isn't it. remember that. Your husband was the one who started fucking my mind with drugs.
-Oh he forced you, huh?
-He's the reformed dealer though who wanted to turn himself in. he's the one that caused Frank to come and Frank's fucking us real good. I just feel so horny. I'm supposed to be here watching you why can't I be here fucking you. Listen. I know his cock's the size of a pin - let me give you the real thing. let me
-No way. get out. I'm gonna tell Frank. I'm gonna tell him what you said.
-Yes? What is it?
-Pest control. gotta do your apartment.
-Oh God, that stuff stinks.
-Nope. it's new stuff. no smell.
-That oughta do it.
-GET OUT OF THERE!! GET OUT!! Put your hands up, on your head. GO ON!! Get down on your knees - DO IT!! What are you doing? Who are you? What's your name?. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
-Jeffrey.
-Jeffrey. Jeffrey what?
-Jeffrey nothing.
-You tell me!! Let me see that wallet. Jeffrey Beaumont. What're you doing in my apartment, Jeffrey Beaumont?
-I wanted to see you.
-What? Are you kidding me? Who sent you here?
-Nobody.
-Shit. You better tell me something.
-I was. an experiment. Just to see if I could do it.
-An experiment? Hey, I've seen you before.
-I sprayed your apartment. I took your key. I really didn't mean to do anything but see you.
-Tell me what you saw tonight. TELL ME.
-. I saw you come in, talk on the phone. get undressed.
-The phone. What did you hear on the phone . Tell me. Word for word.
-That's right. That's what I said. You have a good memory. Then what?
-Well.
-THEN WHAT?
-Then you got undressed.
-How many times have you sneaked into girls' apartments and watched them undress?
-Never before this.
-How'd you like it if someone sneaked into your house and watched you. Get undressed. I want to see you.
-No. Come on.
-NO, you come on. Take off your pants. I want to see you.
-Look. I'm sorry. Just let me leave.
-What do you want from me?
-I . I don't know.
-Do you like that?
-Do you like talk like that?
-No.
-Don't. I don't like that. What do you want?
-Nothing. Are you alright?
-Sure I'm alright.
-Don?
-No.
-Thank you. honey.
-Do you like the way I feel?
-Yes.
-Yes.
-See my nipples?
-Yes.
-You can hit me, if you want to.
-Do you like me?
-Yes, I like you.
-I made it go down the toilet.
-Next Christmas. Is he Santa Claus who has left a present for Dorothy? What was it? An ear? Another ear?!! What was it?
-Do you know?
-You don't?
-No. What is happening?
-Maybe you don't know. I know you though. You're Jeffrey Beaumont and I know where you live and I know ways to get you and I know ways to kill you.
-Please don't talk like that. You're upset. I'm not helping you. I'm sorry for what I did. I better go.
-Go then. I can't let you put it in me now but I want you. I like you.
-Then don't talk about killing.
-Did I say that?. I didn't mean it. or did I? Sometimes I think it would be fun. Go ahead, you better leave now. I can't open myself to you now. I'll tell you a little secret. I want to die.
-Don't say that.
-It's a secret so don't tell anyone. Some day I'll show you where. I've gotta go to sleep now.
-Hi. can I come in?
-. I. uh.
-I looked for you in my closet tonight. It's crazy, I don't know where you came from but. I like you.
-I liked being with you last night.
-Oh shit.
-Frank? .can you stand up?
-Nice guy. Who's he?
-Oh God. Don!!! Why can't I just die.
-There you go again. stop saying that. You can make it.
-I can't. I can't. You think you know so much.
-Look.
-No.
-Falling.
-Who is Don?
-Don?. Are you in with them?
-No. But you're in very big trouble.
-I came back to help you. You said do I let girls sneak into my house. You know where I live. if you need to. come to where I live. O.K.?
-Who are you? Maybe I'll need to. you like me, huh?
-Yes.
-. or do you just want me? I'm going to let you enter me now.
-No. I should go.
-Come in.
-It used to make me laugh .but.
-I'm sorry .maybe I better go Dorothy.
-Yes. Frank-
-Frank is coming?
-No. how could he?. Don't go. You think I'm crazy, don't you? I want you to stay. . don't hate me.
-I sure don't hate you.
-I'm not crazy. I know the difference between right and wrong.
-Do you like my body?
-What do you want to do?
-I'm doing it.
-Are you a bad boy?
-Whatiya mean?
-Do you want to do bad things? Anything. anything.
-What do you want?
-I want you to hurt me.
-You like to open me. don't you?
-Yes.
-That wouldn't be too good, would it?
-Frank would open you.
-Okay. I know you've been scared. now you want to scare someone.
-Does that scare you?
-Shut up.
-Beeeee careful.
-Come on Dorothy.
-Look, snap out of it, will ya?
-Do you love me?
-Do you love me?
-I asked first.
-Sometimes I think I do.
-Wait a minute. Wait. Whatiya want? For cryin' out loud!
-I love you Don with all my heart.
-I didn't mean to hurt you.
-Shhhhhh. Now I have your disease.
-You. what?
-You put your disease in me. your semen. it's hot and full of disease.
-There's no disease, I can tell you.
-Men are crazy. then they put their craziness into me. then it makes me crazy. then they aren't so crazy for awhile. then they put their craziness in me again. . it's burning me. but I love you. I do, I do. Did you know that? Did you know that I love you?
-I'm glad you do.
-There's so much I want to tell you. I'm in so much darkness though with things moving. there is darkness sucking me. It's kissing me and darkness is entering me. in every hole. It's opening me to a death.
-Dorothy. no!
-If I die, then they'll be free. It's getting late, isn't it? I can tell. it's a cold feeling when it's late. It's warm then it gets cold. Jeffrey. I feel it getting cold.
-You called me Jeffrey.
-I did. are you?
-Yes.
-Why are you here? Hmmmmmmmm!!!! Ok.
-I guess I should go.
-I want you to stay with me.
-I'll call you.
-Okay. soon? Do you think I'm too fat?
-What?
-I'm getting a little bit fat. I hate that.
-Oh no.
-Yeah, it's me.
-Where have you been? Oh God. they hurt him, Jeffrey. Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, hold me. HOLD ME. Oh God.
-It's okay. it's okay.
-Shh. I'll tell you.
-They hurt his head.
-Who, Dorothy?
-Hold me, Don.
-Don?. Where is he?
-HELP HIM!! Promise me you'll help him!
-I promise, Dorothy. I promise.
-We're looking for him. In your opinion, why did Frank kidnap Dorothy's son and husband?
-He became obsessed with her. She hated him. He had to have her. He kidnapped them to control her. to make her do things. Then she wanted to commit suicide so he started cutting off ears as a warning to her to stay alive. I'm not kidding. Frank loved blue. blue velvet. He had to have Dorothy cause her whole life was blue.
-You seemed to see some very interesting things on your little escapade with Dorothy Vallens.
-Yeah. I guess I did. What's going to happen to me?
-We're going to leave that up to Detective Williams. I'll tell you though. you're okay. you shot a real son of a bitch.
-No thanks.
-No thanks. what does that mean?
-I don't want to go.
-Go where?
-On a ride.
-Heineken.
-Hey neighbor. Here's to Ben.
-Here's to Ben.
-Hey? . You like to walk.
-What?
-What are you lookin' at?
-Nothing.
-Don't be a good neighbor to her or I'm gonna send you a love letter. straight from my heart, fucker. You know what a love letter is? It's a bullet. straight from my gun, fucker. Once you get a love letter from me, you're fucked forever. Understand, Fuck?
-Yes.
-Come on. I wancha to meet a frienda mine. Raymond, get enough beer for Ben too.
-Okay Frank.
-Raymond! Where's the fuckin' beer?
-Right here Frank. You want me to pour it?
-No, I want ya to fuck it. Shit, yes. pour the fuckin' beer.
-There ya go.
-Yeah, how did you know?
-Oh yeah?
-You were pretty popular. Didn't you run for some office?
-Yeah I did. treasurer. Shouldn't you be studying or something.
-Am I bothering you?
-No. You're not bothering me. You a senior?
-Yes.
-How is Central these days?
-Terrible. boring.
-What else is new?. right?
-Yeah. What are you doing now?
-I'm home from school. My father's in the hospital.
-That's too bad.
-What do you know about the ear?. anything?
-Didn't my father tell you not to talk about it?
-Come on. you brought it up. Do you know anything?
-I don't really know much but bits and pieces . I hear things. My room is right above my father's office. The ear. there's no corpse in the morgue missing an ear, and it did come off a living person. That's direct from the Coroner's Office. The person is unknown. There are a couple of cases I get mixed up on, but I think
-Do you know who was brought in for questioning?
-There were at least three, maybe four. But a name that keeps coming up is this woman who lives in an apartment building very close to your house and also close to the field where you found the ear. There's also a business man over by the Franklin factory district that was questioned. and a musician. and some others.
-Were all these people questioned this afternoon?
-No. this has been going on for some time . several months. About six months ago some parts of bodies were found down by the river. They were from people who were reported missing. They never found one complete body. only parts.
-The ear is from a missing person maybe?
-Maybe so.
-It's a strange world isn't it? Do you know what building the woman lives in?
-Yeah. It's close by. that's what's creepy. They've had her under surveillance for a couple of months, except I don't know what they've found out because my father isn't in charge of her.
-I guess you have to get back home soon?
-That's the building. She lives on the Seventh Floor. Don't stop to look long . the police are watching.
-Where are they?
-Did they find out anything when they questioned her?
-I don't know. like I said, she's not my father's case.
-Oh yeah. What about those other people? . Anything?
-My father is watching the businessman. The businessman had a partner who disappeared. left his whole business and family, his wife and two kids. They think he's been murdered.
-You really do hear a lot, don't you?
-Yeah, I guess so. What are you going to do now that you're home?
-I have to help out in my father's hardware store. they're giving me sort of my own hours for a while. which is nice.
-Still, it must be kinda rough.
-What happened to him?
-I've gotta go in.
-I guess so. Like you said. It's a strange world.
-You hungry or thirsty, or both?
-I don't know.
-I'd like to talk to you about something.
-I don't want to cause any trouble.
-I'm here, aren't I?
-I guess Mike's got some sort of sports practice in the afternoon.
-Alright, now tell me. What is it?
-There are opportunities in life for gaining knowledge and experience. sometimes, in some cases. it's necessary to take a risk. I got to thinking. I'll bet a person could learn a lot by getting into that woman's apartment. you know. sneak in and hide and observe.
-You said it was a strange world. and you're the strangest part of it. Are you crazy.she is possibly involved in murder. This gives me the creeps.
-Settle down. I have a plan which I think will work. There is very little for you to do, but I do need your help. .Aren't you curious about my plan?
-It wouldn't hurt to hear the plan, I guess.
-Alright. the first thing is to get into her apartment and open a window that I could crawl into later.
-Now, how are you going to do that?
-Right out in the car I happen to have some old overalls and a bug spraying rig. I will go to her apartment and be the pest control man. I will spray her apartment. After a few minutes you will knock on her door, drawing her attention away from me and I will then jimmy a window.
-What will I say when she comes to the door?
-You will be a Jehovah's Witness. I have a few "Awake" magazines for you. You don't have to keep her very long. a few seconds is all I'll need. Whatiya think?
-I don't know. it sounds like a good daydream, . but actually doing it is too weird. too dangerous.
-Let's just try the first part. If that goes well, we'll see about the rest. No one will suspect us, because no one would believe two people like us would be crazy enough to do something like this.
-Now. we'll walk over so there's no license plates and you give me at least three minutes. I can stall if it's more, but I need time to find a good window .alright?
-Alright.
-Okay, I'm going ahead. Wait a minute, what's her name?
-Oh bother. Dorothy Vallens, Seventh Floor. Look on the mailbox for her number, bright boy.
-Thanks. Dorothy Vallens. Okay. good luck . three minutes, no sooner.
-Are you alright?
-I was just about to go to the door, when that man did my job for me. Was it alright?
-Yes and no. Did you recognize him?
-No. I only saw his back. He went down another stairwell at the end of the hall.
-I didn't get a good look at him either, but he sure looked at me. I didn't have time to get a window, but I found this key. Pretty nifty, huh?
-Yeah, if it opens the door.
-So. what's next?
-Pretty clever. Are you game for more?
-I owe you. since I goofed up this one.
-You didn't goof it up, but. you still owe me one. I want to sneak in tonight. It's Friday. do you have a date tonight?
-Yes. I do.
-You really want to do this, don't you?
-I'll tell Mike I'm sick. There's a game tonight anyway and he'll never miss me. Afterwards he can go out with the guys. Just so the record is kept straight though, I love Mike. What do want me to do?
-First of all, we'll have a nice dinner. Try to find out where Dorothy sings.
-I already know. The "Slow Club." It's on Route 7.
-Great. I'll pick you up around eight o'clock. Is that good?
-Yeah, but don't pick me up. my father may think it's strange. I'll walk over to your house. I'll be there at eight o'clock.
-What's the plan.
-First of all, we're going to the Slow Club to see Dorothy Vallens. We'll watch her for awhile. I'd like to hear her sing anyway, and then also we'll know she is there and not in her apartment.
-Brilliant.
-Then we'll drive back to her apartment and I will plant myself there.
-I'd like an ice-cold Heineken.
-That sounds good.
-Here's to. an interesting experience.
-Jeffrey, I don't think you ought to do it.
-Why not?
-It's crazy and dangerous. My God. I shouldn't have told you.
-It'll be okay. I don't think you should wait out here though. I think you should go home. Can you drive this car?
-Yeah. but.
-Leave it in the front of your house for me. okay?
-O.K.
-Could you wait a little while. this key may not fit.
-. I wish you wouldn't do this. It doesn't make any sense. Let's go somewhere and have some coffee.
-I'm going in, Sandy. I'll see you tomorrow and tell you how it went.
-I. I don't want to see you tomorrow. Mike's coming over.
-Oh, okay. can I call?
-Okay. yeah, call.
-Look. it can wait till Sunday.
-Call tomorrow. It's okay. Good luck. I hope you can sneak out okay. You're going to wait until she's asleep?
-Yeah.
-I'm going to wait here until she comes.
-Are you sure?
-Okay. thanks.
-I don't know if you're a detective or a pervert.
-That's for me to know and for you to find out. I'll see you. I mean call you. okay?
-Well, how did it go?. What happened?
-Well. I've found out some things. nothing really for certain. There are some strange people involved.
-What did you see?
-What's with Mike?
-He got a little jealous.
-I'm sorry, I didn't.
-You want a Dairy Queen?
-You want to tell me about it?
-. OK. It's a strange world, Sandy. this is what I have found out. What I think I have found out. Dorothy Vallens is married to a man named Don. they have a son. I think the son and the husband have been kidnapped by a man named Frank who has now cut off both of Don's ears. I think he is holding them
-Wow. Should you tell my father?
-I don't see how I can. and I can't prove any of this. I got all this information illegally. also it could get you in trouble.
-You saw a lot in one night.
-. Actually. I've been in twice.
-Twice. without her sensing anything?
-Yes.
-Did you see her undressed?
-Yeah. I mean. a little, . you know.
-Yeah?
-That doesn't bother you, does it?
-Who, me? Why should it?
-That's what I thought.
-You're sure right. It is a strange world.
-I don't know. I had a dream. in fact. the night I met you. . in the dream the world was dark because there weren't any robins. you know, birds. robins stood for love. and all of a sudden thousands of robins flew down and brought this blinding light of love. and it felt like that love would be the only thing that would
-Yeah I guess so. You're a neat girl.
-So are you. I mean you're a neat guy. We better get back.
-No, silly - I'm still in school you know. but I'll meet you after school and you can tell me what you've learned. You better be careful, Jeffrey.
-Okay. be careful.
-Can I give you a kiss good night?
-You better not, Jeffrey.
-Okay. okay.
-Goodnight.
-You were late.
-I'm really sorry.
-What am I going to do?
-You want to go talk to him?
-You know, that cheese is practically all chemicals.
-That's what makes it so good. You wanta hear what I saw today?
-Shoot.
-Number one. I saw the Yellow Man go into Frank's building, laughing with Frank. Now. the only trouble is. what does this prove?
-Maybe. But I think the Yellow Man is on drugs. I think Frank supplies him.
-Oh yeah?
-Number two. I saw the Yellow Man come out. This time with a well-dressed man with an alligator briefcase. They drove down this factory building and stood on a staircase looking at something in the distance. Number three. now get this. In the distance was a murder. a drug dealer shot to death and a woman with her legs broken.
-Jeffrey!!
-Then these guys told me the police will find a huge amount of drugs inside the dead man's place.
-I can't believe what you are finding out. Are you going to continue with this. Are you going back to her apartment?
-Yeah.
-Jeffrey?. Why?
-I'm seeing something that was always hidden. I'm involved in a mystery. I'm learning. and it's all secret.
-You like mysteries that much?
-You worry about me really?
-Great. Hey. I've got a bit of a problem. I know some things. that could help your father but you might get into trouble.
-Everything okay?
-Yeah. I think so. I just had to tell him some of what I knew. Is Friday still on?
-You didn't tell him about me?
-I should never had gotten you going on this. Yes Jeffrey. Friday's on!
-Okay.
-What is it?
-What was that all about?
-Nothing. really! It's good to see you.
-It's good to see you.
-Where to?
-Just go over to Gelford and up to Vista. It's not far. Can you tell me any more about what you learned?
-I'd rather not talk about it. I'll tell you about it sometime.
-It's okay.
-... You look beautiful.
-Thank you. Whatiya say we just enjoy the evening?
-You want to dance?
-I can't dance fast.
-Really?
-Really. you want to dance with someone else?
-NO.
-Let's wait for some slow one.
-You want to dance?
-Oh my God. What's wrong?
-My father has a gun at home.
-No.
-Dorothy! ... Dorothy!
-Dorothy Vallens?
-Take her to my house. My dad can get an ambulance faster than anyone. Do you have anything to put around her?
-No. Is Detective Gordon going to be at your house?
-Probably not. no. Why?
-OK. Let's get her over to your father's.
-I should go with her, Sandy.
-Go ahead.
-... Sandy?.
-Please get to your father and send him and the police to Dorothy's apartment right away. Be sure your father comes. Something is happening over there. They're hurting someone. the guy she loves. Tell them to hurry. I'm going over right now.
-No Jeffrey!!
-Look Jeffrey.
-Hi Dad.
-Looks like they've got you strapped in pretty good.
-uh uh.
-Are you feeling okay?
-Good to see you, son.
-How ya doin' Dad?
-Hey Jeff. I'm feelin' so much better.
-I mean, for good, Jeffrey.
-For good?. I can't. Mom. Not right in the middle of the term.
-Where's all your things, Jeffrey?
-Jeffrey, breakfast is ready.
-What time are visiting hours?
-I've made arrangements with Dr. Gynde for 10:30. But Jeffrey, you'll have to walk over; I need the car this morning.
-Well. Okay.
-Jeffrey, when you see your father.
-Yeah?
-He doesn't know you're out of school. He thinks it's a vacation for you.
-What?
-It would be too much for him. So please let him think as he does, that you're home just to see him.
-Thanks a lot, Mom.
-I'm going out for awhile.
-Do you want the car?
-No, I'm just gonna walk around.
-Can I use the car tonight?
-God. you scared me.
-Is something wrong? What's happened to your face?
-Nothing. I'm fine.
-No.
-Looks like you'd make a good runner.
-Well.
-No. you're right.
-I mean. some guys play anyway but they usually get slaughtered.
-Yeah, well I never wanted to get slaughtered much.
-Hey, you ivy league shit. COME HERE!
-Hello. uh. my name is Jeffrey Beaumont. Is Detective Williams in?
-I just wanted to ask him a few questions, that's all. Maybe I better go.
-Really, he'll be home soon, would you like a cup of coffee?
-I was sorry to hear about your father. I know your mother from church. It's such a shame.
-Yeah, I know.
-Would you like a piece of cake?
-No. No thank you.
-It's a real good chocolate cake. Duncan Hines' devil's food. real good.
-He comes over to study.
-Mrs. Williams? Thanks for the cake.
-Oh, you're welcome. Nice to finally meet you, Jeffrey.
-Here you are. Would anyone like coffee?
-That sounds great!
-Please excuse me a moment, Jeffrey, and I'll get to the dishes.
-Sure thing. please don't worry about me. Can I help you with the dishes?
-Sandy? ...Sandy, please.
-Mike's gotta go. Nice to meet you.
-What are watchin' this junk for?
-You can change it if you want to.
-I don't know why we have to watch T.V.
-Sandy?. Could I talk to you a minute?
-Come on out a minute, okay?
-Hey come here, you stole my girl, you bastard. I'm gonna kick your ass, right in front of your stupid house.
-QUIET! Callate! Where's Diego?
-I don't know. He sent me. I'm George.
-I've been holding this shit for him for three weeks. You tell Diego I don't appreciate it. You tell him I want my money by Friday. Can you do that?
-Greetings, Mr. George.
-Where do you guys want to count?
-On the plane.
-Pleased to meet you finally, George. I am Augusto Oliveras.
-Norman Cay is not a person. He is an island, George. In the Bahamas. From what they say, it is free and it's Diego's new home.
-Let us walk. From what I understand, Diego has bought a hundred and sixty acres, a marina, a hotel, and an airstrip.
-Motherfucker works fast.
-The word is that soon he is to be king of the middle empire. He is doing multiple runs right now and using the island as a jump-off point.
-He what?
-Yes. Jack Stevens is already a very busy man. Along with many others. You shouldn't stay away so long.
-No honey, I'm alright.
-Three-hundred kilos is a very big load, Georgie. Why don't we start small?
-No. I have the space. I figured it out. This is what I want to do.
-Alright. I'll ask Pablo, tell him it's for you. I don't think there will be a problem.
-Five-thousand per kilo.
-Ha ha. That's too much, Georgie. Those days are over. The rate is one-thousand dollars. Inflation, you know?
-I'm so glad you two could make it. Mirtha, look at you. So beautiful. You look like you're about to burst.
-Thanks. I am. Where's Martha?
-Que va hacer?
-Blanca, por favor.
-Mama, vos sos bien antigua. Como lo va a matar con un picahielo. Eso era en su tiempo, estamos casi ya en los ochenta. El lo va a meter un tiro, lo va a volar, le va a hechar un hijueputa carro encima.
-Are you sure this guy is cool?
-Nothing like this back home.
-This is it for me.
-What is?
-Just everything. You. California. The beach. This spot right here. I feel like I belong here, you know? It just feels right.
-You happy, baby?
-Are you sure this guy is cool?
-Nothing like this back home.
-This is it for me.
-What is?
-Just everything. You. California. The beach. This spot right here. I feel like I belong here, you know? It just feels right.
-You happy, baby?
-We're gonna call it California sinsemilla. Sounds exotic.
-Should we buy it?
-Are you kidding?
-Honey, your nose!
-You wanna split?
-Yeah, I don't feel so well.
-Are you sure you're okay? You're pale.
-I feel like shit. Me and my frigging nosebleeds.
-I'm taking you to the doctor when we get home, and I don't want to hear any arguments.
-Would you be bummed out if I didn't go to Chicago with you?
-No, not at all. Sure. You're right. You fly home and get some rest.
-Nice first impression. A nose bleed in front of your parents.
-Oh my G-d, how embarrassing were they? I wanted to shoot myself.
-Oh, they weren't that bad. I mean, they were kind of cute.
-Promise me that we'll never be like them. I don't want to wind up like that.
-Surprise.
-Baby, you didn't have to come.
-What, and miss all the fun? C'mon, not a chance. So, what's the verdict?
-Lawyer says he can plead it down to five years. I'll serve two.
-Two years. George, I can't wait that long.
-What? You're not going to wait for me?
-George, I went to the doctor. I don't have two years.
-Tuna, this is crap.
-I know it's not the greatest. It's commercial.
-You can't sell this to your friends.
-Man. Fuck you guys. I have this great idea and you guys have to be all skeptical.
-Tuna, this is crap.
-I know it's not the greatest. It's commercial.
-You can't sell this to your friends.
-Man. Fuck you guys. I have this great idea and you guys have to be all skeptical.
-Mr. Jung, you're a convicted felon, correct?
-Yes, I am.
-Do you have any agreement or understanding whatsoever with the United States government in regards to your testimony?
-No, I cam here out of my own volition.
-Excuse me?
-Something about vengance being best served cold.
-Really. Are you getting paid, Mr. Jung?
-Excuse me?
-Mr. Jung, don't you have an agreement or understanding with the United States Government in connection with your testimony in this case?
-I'm doing sixty years at Otisville, no chance of parole. Even if they cut my sentence in half I'll be seventy-three years old. That's some fucking deal. I don't know if the parole board, the judge, the pope or Jesus Christ himself can get me out of here. I have a really bad record, I'm not sure what's going to happen.
-Not so fast. I would like to go over the details.
-What details? I put the coke in the false bottoms and take it through customs.
-Hmm. I see. Will there be clothes in the suitcase?
-What? Yeah, sure.
-Whose cloths? Your clothes?
-My clothes, your clothes. What does it matter?
-I would like to know the contents. Every detail is important.
-What are we doing here, Diego? This guy's a clown. He's talking about clothes.
-I demand to know everything. I do not trust six-hundred thousand dollars of coca to someone I don't know.
-It's a lousy fifteen kilos. I piss fifteen kilos.
-The coca is my responsibility!
-Why are you speaking?
-Excuse me?
-You. Your responsibility is over. You do not fly. You are not a pilot. You are not a distributor. You introduced us to Mr. Stevens and the use of his airplane. That is all. You make a percentage. A generous one. And you're lucky to get that.
-I see. How much?
-Mirtha.
-What can I do for you guys?
-We want some grass.
-I know what you want. But, first of all, are you cops?
-No.
-Because if you are, you have to tell me. If not, it's entrapment.
-We're not cops. We're from Massachusettes. I mean, does he look like a cop?
-What the fuck is that?
-What can I do for you guys?
-We want some grass.
-I know what you want. But, first of all, are you cops?
-No.
-Because if you are, you have to tell me. If not, it's entrapment.
-We're not cops. We're from Massachusettes. I mean, does he look like a cop?
-What the fuck is that?
-The way we figure it, Barbara flies to Boston twice a week. Two bags per flight. Twenty-five pounds in each bag.
-You're kidding, right? That's a hundred pounds a week.
-I don't know...
-Here's the best part. We can charge five-hundred a pound.
-Come on, George, no one is going to pay that.
-Goodness.
-Goodness is right. If you do the math, that's over thirty grand a week profit. I want you to be my partner on this, Derek. Fifty-fifty. That's fifteen thousand a week for you, my friend. In your pocket, free and clear.
-And I only deal with you?
-I don't think so.
-Are you sure you want to do this in front of everyone?
-What did I tell you?
-It's great and everything, but what am I going to do with all this?
-Half a million for you. Half a million for me. One-point-three five for the Colombians.
-Nice doing business with you, George.
-It's nothing personal, George. Just business.
-Happy Birthday, George. Mirtha invited me.
-Yeah. She told me.
-Look, I'm sorry about everything. I feel like an idiot. You were right. I did fuck you. And then Diego fucked me. Cut me out, too.
-I heard.
-I lost sight of everything. Forgot who my friends were.
-It's in the past. I'm out of the business now, so forget about it. No hard feelings. We need to move on. And besides, I'm sorry, too.
-You?
-For calling you a homo.
-Christ almighty, George. Feed her a cheeseburger or something. What does she weight, eighty pounds?
-I want my kid out of protective custody. Now. No fucking around. My wife and my kid on a plane tonight. I sign when they call me safe and sound.
-No fucking way.
-George? You better get yourself a good lawyer this time. We're gonna nail your ass to the wall on this one.
-Oh hey, one more thing?
-What's that?
-If you don't mind me asking, what is the reason you are in this place?
-What?
-Your offense? Why are you here?
-I don't want to talk about it.
-Intriguing. I see. Would you like to know my crime?
-Not really, no.
-No?
-I don't like a lot of conversation, Diego.
-Oh, come on, George. If we are to be friends, we must trust each other.
-Murder.
-What do you got there, Diego?
-Nothing. Just a little project.
-What kind of project?
-Never mind. Not for you to worry.
-I thought you said we were roommates. That we should talk about everything.
-You have your intrigues. I have mine. This is a happy day for me, George. Nine months from today, I will be in Medellin sipping champagne. In nine months, I am free. How much time do you have?
-Twenty-six months.
-Twenty-six months? For murder? I must be your lawyer.
-I've got to get out of here, Diego.
-Only two ways I know to leave here early. One is to escape.
-I never believed you were a murderer. I knew. I knew you are a magico. I have seen it in you. It's in your spirit.
-I'm tired, Diego. Go to bed.
-You like to make the boundaries disappear. It's not only the money, is it, George? The adventure is part of the victory. It's the thrill, ah?
-Good night.
-In my country, I am a magico. A man with a dream. A man on the rise. To take nothing and make it something, okay? I have failed my dream, but I will accomplish. That is why I am in your country. Yes, I lose my freedom. But they do not take my dream. Do you have a dream, George?
-I would if I could get some sleep.
-Yes, you have a dream. And maybe you accomplish your dream. But yet you failed. Why?
-Because I got caught.
-No, my brother.
-Because they caught me?
-George? What do you know about cocaine?
-I don't know, Diego. I've got a good thing going already. Everybody smokes pot. It's easy. Cocaine is a rich man's drug. It's too expensive.
-That's over fifty-thousand dollars profit per kilo.
-And that's wholesale. Cut it a few times and retail, you're looking at two, three-hundred thousand.
-Oh my G-d.
-Yes. And a kilo of coca is smaller than a kilo of your precious marijuana. Everything is the same, George, except instead of thousands, you are making millions.
-Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ.
-Now do you see what I am saying?
-Getting it here is no problem. Trust me. I'll fly it in myself if I have to. What about supply? How much can we get?
-What type of planes do you have?
-Four passenger, single engine Cessna.
-How many kilos can we fit in these planes?
-I don't know. A hundred, hundred and fifty. How many miles is it from Colombia to Miami?
-Fifteen hundred. We'll have to stop somewhere to refuel.
-We'll refuel in the Bahamas. I know someone there.
-Diego Delgado, please?
-Allo?
-Diego? It's George.
-George, hallo! Today is the day, ah? Are you out?
-Yeah, I'm out.
-Congratulations, brother. I've been waiting for you.
-How are we doing?
-Perfect, George. Perfect. Everything is fine down here. Everything is all set up.
-Do we need a plane? How does this work? When do I see you?
-You need to come down here, everybody meets everybody. Ho ho ho. Ha ha ha. We do one for good faith and then we talk about airplanes.
-I can't go anywhere, Diego. I'm on parole. I can't leave the state.
-But you must. It's the only way.
-I just got released five minutes ago.
-Good to see you, Diego.
-Fifteen kilos. Seven and a half in each suitcase. You receive a hundred thousand dollars upon delivery.
-Please, continue.
-What's the matter, George?
-What's the matter? We're moving three hundred fucking kilos and we're making dogshit.
-A million dollars for our first run is not bad, George.
-It is bad. It's chump change. We might as well be hauling suitcases across the border. We're getting screwed.
-I know.
-And what happens when these guys stop paying? Sooner or later, these guys are going to cut us out. Then where are we?
-This is only part of the business, George. A very small part. Don't worry, there is so much more to do. Which reminds me, I need a favor from you. I must go to Colombia.
-What is it, George? Because I have to get home. I've got a parole officer waiting for me.
-George.
-Jesus Christ, Diego, where are you? It's been eleven days and these guys want their fucking money.
-Bad news, George. I'm in Colombia.
-Jesus Christ, George, I don't see you in two years, and you show up at my door with a hundred and ten pounds of cocaine?
-Thirty-six hours. I can't believe it. Everything is gone in thirty-six hours.
-I think it's fair to say you underestimated the market there, Derek.
-Touche.
-George, good to see you, my brother.
-What the fuck is going on? When did you get out of jail?
-Pablo used his influence. Now, George, watch what you say. Everybody hears everything. A lot of things get said and done that, well, let's just say this isn't America. Life is cheap here, you know? No offense, but you know what I'm saying?
-Yeah. Keep my mouth shut and let you do the talking.
-Right. Now who is the person in California? The connection?
-Just a friend.
-Who? I need to know. Ah, never mind. We'll talk about it later.
-Three million. I counted it twice.
-I'm calling it three.
-We're half a million off.
-Fuck it. I'm not counting it again.
-Weight it. If it's sixty pounds, it's three. If it's fifty, it's two-point five.
-Where do I put this!?
-There's no room.
-Are you comfortable with this?
-George, we've got sixty-one million dollars. It's either here or someplace else. We've got to put it somewhere. Unless you want to launder it.
-And keep only forty-percent? No thanks.
-I'm married, George. Me. I can't believe it. Can you believe I'm married, George?
-You're a lucky man, Diego.
-I love you, my brother, do you know that?
-Three years. How long have we been in business? Three years. Does she get to meet your connection? Was she good enough?
-Shut up, Diego. They're going to be here any minute. I'm trying to concentrate.
-I'm very angry with you, George. Very angry. You don't take me to California, but you take your bitch wife? A woman? I understand you love her, but it was you and me who started this. You and me.
-What do you need my connection for, Diego? What are you going to do with it?
-Jesus fucking Christ, Diego. I ain't telling you. It's just business. Now, shut up. You're driving me crazy.
-Nothing. Todo esta bien.
-Everything is not alright. I bring you in, and you slap my fucking face!
-Take it easy! Everything's okay!
-Estoy bien, okay? Everything is alright. There's no problem. Okay? This never happened. No one has to know anything about this. Diego, I want you to calmly tell them where the fucking coke is. Do it now.
-Derek Foreal.
-What?
-George, I am happy to see you. How are you, my brother?
-No more brothers, Diego.
-Of course we are brothers. Why do you say that? You hurt me, George.
-You fucked me, Diego.
-I did not.
-You went behind my back and you cut me out.
-No, I never. I would not do that, George. Never.
-You'd better kill me now, Diego, because you're a dead man.
-He's in tachycardia. George, your heart is racing. Have you been using drugs?
-Coke.
-Cocaine? How much?
-I don't know. Maybe eighteen grams.
-In how long? A week?
-Today.
-Well, you know. It's um...
-Yeah, layaway.
-Surprised to see me?
-Take your boots off. You're tan.
-Mexico.
-Yeah. We heard all about it. I want you to know I'm deeply sorry about your girlfriend.
-Barbara.
-Yes, Barbara. She was very pretty.
-Thank you. Have you been getting the money I sent you?
-G-d, son.
-It's a family heirloom.
-I've seen those in magazines. They're not cheap.
-Mirtha comes from a very wealthy family.
-Tell him I don't want to see him. Tell him he's not welcome here.
-I just can't get over the size of that ring. I just love it. Fred, look at it. Tell me you don't love that ring.
-I'm just happy that George has found someone he cares for.
-Layaway shmayaway.
-That's right. Layaway. Something you wouldn't know anything about, you cheapskate.
-Who's the cheapskate?
-Yeah. Nice.
-So, this is the man who takes fifty kilos and makes them disappear in one day?
-Actually, it was three.
-The man who gives us the airplanes. The man from America. The mafia. Chicago. Boom boom. Hollywood. You are going to open for us the gates of Hollywood, George?
-It would be my pleasure.
-The man in the garden. He was full of courage.
-Un sapo?
-Un rata - no good. But he could have run, fled the country. Gone to the policia. But then his wife, his children, his parents, his friends, many people would die.
-Yes.
-But, never mind. I am thinking we can do much together. This problem with Diego, the stolen car, the jail, is very silly business. To release him from the carcel, it causes me much inconvenience. The fifty kilos could have been a big problem. And I don't like problems.
-I like you, George. You are loyal. That is good. That is rare. Maybe crazy. Yes. I can tell already. You are like me. I look at you and I see myself. It's in the eyes, no, George?
-Yes, it is.
-So, you are wanting to sell the cocaine for me in your country, George?
-Yes, sir. As much as you can give me.
-I like to come up here. To make the decisions. To be one with nature.
-It's beautiful.
-What do I think? I don't want my answer to be influenced by what I want, so I'm going to have to say I don't know.
-Yes. I do not know, either. What do you want, George?
-I want money.
-Yes. Money. Which is what, George?
-Freedom.
-Power?
-Yeah, maybe.
-Family.
-Sure.
-Beautiful girls?
-Keep them coming.
-Keep them coming? Ah, yes. Ha ha. You are right. But money.
-Money.
-And Diego?
-George, you look terrible.
-Yeah, well...
-Diego?
-Yeah.
-Please. Sit down. We'll drink some scotch.
-I didn't come here to drink scotch.
-I see. I'm sorry about this, George. I'm not happy about this situation. It's bad. You now know who your Brutus is.
-You know why I'm here. You know what I have to do. I came here for permission. Out of respect, Pablo. This is bullshit, he's making me look like a punk.
-It is very difficult. Diego makes me a lot of money. If Diego goes so does the money. You were an excellent teacher, George. When the student has learned well, the teacher is no longer necessary. We must remember we have wives, friends, familia. Even familia that has not been born. But sometimes, we must forget as well. I am like you. I must
-You're saying life will take care of Diego?
-Life will take care of everybody. Diego, me, you. It is the teacher.
-I get it. I'm really pissed, Pablo. You know the DEA knows about Norman's Cay. For Chrissakes, Diego worships Adolf Hitler and John Lennon, that's fucked up!
-I'm sorry, George.
-Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? You and me, Pablo? Are we good?
-There's something out there for me, Dad. Something different. Something free form, you know? Something for me, and college just isn't it.
-That's too bad. You would have been the first one in the family.
-I know.
-Alright. You want me to get your old job back? Because I could, you know, I could put in that word.
-What are you going to do?
-There's something out there for me, Dad. Something different. Something free form, you know? Something for me, and college just isn't it.
-That's too bad. You would have been the first one in the family.
-I know.
-Alright. You want me to get your old job back? Because I could, you know, I could put in that word.
-What are you going to do?
-May the wind always be at your back and the sun always upon your face...
-Just low.
-You loved her, didn't you? You really loved her.
-Yeah, Dad. I really did. What am I gonna do?
-You mad at me?
-Not mad.
-Yeah, you are. I can tell by the way you look at me.
-I just don't know what you're thinking. I don't understand your choices. You know, the police are looking for you.
-I know. I'm great at what I do, Dad. I mean, I'm really great.
-So, business is going good. I've got this import/export thing going on in Miami that's been very profitable. With my investments...
-You're like your mother. You love money.
-Dad.
-No, it's good. You have a family. It's good if it makes you happy. It's nice to have nice things. Are you happy, son?
-Hi.
-She's angry. It's all over the news.
-Yeah. Listen. I'm going to be going away for awhile.
-You're not going to trial?
-No.
-Give this to Mom, will you?
-Money. You and your mother. All the time chasing it. I never understood it.
-Give it to her, Dad. It'll make her happy.
-Tell Mom, you know...
-And that FBI agent, Trout? When he had to get on his knees to put my boots on? You said...
-...you sonofabitch. Putting on George's boots.
-I guess I kind of lost sight of things. "May the wind always be at your back and the sun always upon your face, and the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars." Love, George.
-That was a beautiful message.
-I meant every word of it.
-How are you doing, George?
-What do you guys want?
-You hear about your old friend, Diego?
-What the fuck? Is he going to walk?
-Don't be stupid, George. We've got him. We've got him dead to rights. But like I said, this is top priority so we're handing out free passes on this one. And the first one's got your name on it. Cut your sentence in half, maybe more.
-Figured it out.
-Figured what out?
-It's oregano. You got ripped off, pal. What are you gonna do with all this?
-George.
-Figured it out.
-Figured what out?
-It's oregano. You got ripped off, pal. What are you gonna do with all this?
-George.
-Look what the cat dragged in.
-What the fuck are you talking about, man?
-Source? What about Derek?
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Do I know you?
-I don't think so.
-Why are you smiling?
-Why are you smiling?
-I don't know. My name is George.
-I know who you are, El Americano. Mister George.
-You better know what you're doing, George. You're playing with fire.
-Jesus Christ.
-Oh, don't be such a fucking hypocrite. I quit smoking, didn't I?
-George. Oh, Jesus Christ, George. Look at you.
-Shhh, honey, never mind. It's alright. It's over. I quit the business. I'm out.
-Pablo said no?
-Look, Mirtha. She's walking.
-She did that before.
-No. These are her first steps. Watch her.
-Yeah. I know. She did that before.
-But this is...
-I said, I've seen it before.
-Alright.
-Can you lift the furnace. I need money.
-Where are you going?
-No, that's alright.
-What are we going to do?! What are we going to use for money?!
-Please, Mirtha. I'll start working for Augusto. I'll talk to him tonight. I'll do something.
-Not in front of the kid.
-There's a fucking cop behind us, Mirtha. Be cool, will ya.
-Fuck you, George, just fucking drive.
-Hey, why don't you just put a "I'm doing cocaine" sign on the car. What is your fucking problem?
-My problem? We're broke, that's my fucking problem. And you're a fucking spy.
-What?
-You should have taken better care of me, you know? You've been away a long time. Four years. Say something.
-What do you want me to say? I'm in prison. You should know. You put me here.
-What do you want?
-You knew I was seeing Kristina, right?
-Yeah. She told me. You walk her to school.
-Yeah, so I've been thinking. I love her, y'know? I kind of want to have her. I've been away for so long. Make up for the missed time, you know?
-I haven't seen one dollar from you. You haven't paid me one cent in child support, alimony.
-Yeah, well. I'm working on that. I've got something going.
-Yeah? I better see some money out of it.
-Hey, look. You start paying, who knows what will happen. You're a good father, George. I always gave you that. But you've got to talk to her.
-Yeah.
-She's getting big. Getting her own ideas.
-Hey, George. You okay?
-Mirtha, what's going on? Everything okay with Kristina?
-Kristina's fine.
-Is she here? Is she coming?
-Is she here? George, Kristina hates you. You fucked her over one too many times. And I'm not here to socialize. Did you hear about Diego?
-Yeah.
-Well, I got a call from Pablo. He said this thing with Diego is a disaster. He's giving up lab locations, names, bank accounts, he was very pissed off. Pablo said to take him down. His exact words were "Fuck Diego."
-He wants me to testify? Is that what he's asking me to do?
-Mirtha, how are you doing?
-Everything's gonna be okay, sweetheart. Don't be upset.
-I don't know.
-Are we gonna split up?
-What are you doing here?
-Nothing. I just wanted you to know I was out. I just wanted to see you.
-Well, here I am. See?
-How are you doing?
-George, you just can't show up, tell me you love me, and have everything be okay.
-Dad.
-What?
-You can call me Dad if you want.
-I don't want, alright? It's not funny. I'm really pissed off, George. You blew it, now leave me alone.
-Kristina, c'mon, I'm sorry. I'm going to make this right. I've got a few things going on...
-What do you want from me?
-Just to walk with you. I want to be your dad again.
-Let me ask you something. If you could go anywhere in the world, anywhere, where would you want to go?
-You mean, like a trip?
-California? You can go anywhere in the world. India. Tibet. Australia. Paris. And you choose California?
-Yeah.
-What is it? A Disneyland thing?
-No. I just kind of like the sound of it.
-California, huh?
-Bye, Dad. See you in the morning, okay?
-I'm thinking about getting out of town this week. You want to come with me?
-Where are you going?
-I don't know. Maybe California.
-You swear?
-Yeah. Go out there, check it out, see what it's like. I've got some stuff to do this week, but I'm thinking maybe Thursday. Thursday after school.
-You know I can't. Mom will never let me go.
-You let me take care of your mother. You just pack your bags.
-But I've got school.
-There's schools in California.
-You swear?
-That's right. Three o'clock. Thursday. At your mother's. You and me. It's a date.
-I don't believe you.
-I swear. On my life.
-Swear on my life.
-I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry.
-It's alright, Dad.
-I didn't mean to...
-I fucked up.
-Shhhh.
-I love you. I love you so much. You've got to know that. You've got to know.
-I know, Dad. I love you too.
-But I have a visitor.
-Not today, George. Time to go back.
-But I want to put her name on the list for tomorrow. My daughter.
-Okay, George.
-Because she's visiting me.
-Mr. Jung, do you know Diego Delgado?
-Yes, I do.
-Do you see him here in the courtroom?
-Yes, he's sitting right there at the end of the table.
-Mr. Jung, can you describe the circumstances of how you began talking about cocaine with Mr. Delgado?
-It's a four-man operation. Two on the ground. Two in the air.
-Who's the co-pilot?
-You're looking at him. We provide the plane, transportation cost, U.S. landing spot, and take it to wherever you want it to go. You provide the pick up point in South America, and are responsible for payment. You assume all the bust risks. We take sixty-five percent of all transportation fees, ten percent of the gross, plus our expenses. This is not a negotiation,
-Sounds fine. I'll need to meet everybody.
-You saved my life, Dulli. You'll never fucking know. All you guys. Everyone just got a raise. Instead of ten percent, you get fifteen.
-Jesus, George, fifteen percent. That's an extra two-hundred large.
-Ramon tells me you are looking for some mota.
-For instance, something like this?
-Very nice. I'll take it.
-Ha ha ha. You are funny. Really, how much will you be needing?
-All of it. As much as you've got. A couples thousand pounds. I'll be back in a week with a plane.
-Listen, Americano, it is very nice to meet you, but maybe we are going too fast. You take a little and then come back.
-I don't need a little. I need a lot.
-Marijuana is illegal in my country, and I believe in yours, as well. We must be careful.
-What if I brought you, let's say, fifty thousand dollars? Would that eliminate some of your concerns?
-Good to see you, Jorge. You are a man of your word.
-Well, I'll tell you. I was walking down the beach, minding my business, when who did I see but this fucking guy. I didn't know you guys were living in California.
-Yeah, but what are you doing out here?
-I'm on vacation. On my way back to school.
-This calls for a joint. You want to do the honors?
-Right on.
-G-d, I'm stoned. I'm stoned. I'm really...
-Stoned?
-I wish there was shit like this back home.
-Yeah?
-Yeah?
-It's not enough.
-So?
-Okay. So we need a source. Where do we start?
-Not that far, only halfway. You sure you know what you're doing?
-Holy shit, Dulli!
-Georgie, oh man, hold the mayo!
-Are we good?
-Nice weed, huh?
-No shit, Kevin?
-Smith. Hampshire....
-Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty, nine. Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty, a thousand. It's all there. Wow. A hundred and twenty-eight thousand dollars.
-What's the matter, George? Something wrong? You look like you just fucked your mother.
-This is bullshit, George. We're never going to find anything down there.
-I can't believe we're stealing a plane.
-Look around. I've put everything at your disposal. Go take a look with your own eyes.
-The strike is a success; but ...
-But the NLF has always spoken of a strike as a demonstration ...
-And you believe the NLF?
-They seemed to be plausible this time. A general strike is a good argument for the UN.
-Colonel Mathieu ... Much has been said lately not only of the successes obtained by the paratroopers, but also of the methods that they have employed ... Can you tell us something about this?
-It is an inevitable stage in revolutionary war; from terrorism, one passes to insurrection ... as from open guerrilla warfare one passes to real war, the latter being the determining factor ...
-Dien Bien Phu?
-In Indochina, <U>they</U> won.
-And here?
-Excuse me, colonel. I have the impression that perhaps due to excessive prudence ... my colleagues continue to ask the same allusive questions, to which you can only respond in an allusive manner. I think it would be better to call things by their right names; if one means torture, then one should call it torture.
-I understand. What's your question?
-The questions have already been asked. I would only like some precise answers, that's all ...
-Let's try to be precise then. The word "torture" does not appear in our orders. We have always spoken of interrogation as the only valid method in a police operation directed against unknown enemies. As for the NLF, they request that their members, in the event of capture, should maintain silence for twenty-four hours, and then, they may talk. Thus, the organization has already
-The law is often inconvenient, colonel ...
-Go ahead! C'mon ... Repeat everything from the beginning, and then we'll let you go. Name ...
-Sid Ahmed.
-Second name.
-Sail.
-Which "district" do you belong to?
-Second district ...
-Second district ... Explain better ...
-Second district, Casbah, West Algiers.
-What "group"?
-Third group.
-Third group. What's your assignment?
-You afraid of these ...?
-Don't move, Hacene.
-Why are you afraid? We've always been friends. One might even say that I brought you up ... Isn't it true, Ali?
-It's true.
-What's happened to you?
-How much are they paying you?
-They're not paying me anything. They've already warned you twice; this is the last warning. Decide.
-What ... What must I decide?
-With an unloaded pistol?
-Let's suppose you were a spy. In prison, when the NLF contacts you, you pretend to support the revolution, and then the French help you to escape ...
-Sure. By shooting at me.
-Even that could be a trick. You escape, then show up at the address which the brothers in prison gave to you, and so you are able to contact me ...
-I don't even know your name yet ...
-But I haven't shot him.
-You weren't able to. But what's important is that you tried.
-What's important for me is that you let me risk my life for nothing.
-C'mon ... you're exaggerating. The orders were to shoot him in the back.
-I don't do that kind of thing.
-Then don't complain.
-You still haven't told me why you didn't let me kill him.
-And how many are we?
-Why? Isn't he sleeping here?
-It's better to split up, to increase our chances. We must change hiding places, and change them continually ... In the meantime, we must make new contacts, replace our arrested brothers, reorganize our sections--
-Yes, but we must also show them that we still exist.
-Of course. As soon as possible.
-No, immediately. The people are demoralized. Leave this to me ...
-Go away!
-Can you read?
-Read it.
-Where's Kader?
-With the others. They are trying to stop the people.
-Be careful now. Unless you know how it works, it's better if you sit on the plank and move forward like this ...
-It's good nobody is following us ...
-What do you think of the strike, Ali?
-I think it'll be a success ...
-It's clear. They'll do everything possible to make it fail.
-No ...
-But Kader told me that you weren't in favor of the strike.
-No, and neither were my men.
-Why?
-Because they told us that we mustn't use weapons, now, when the time is right.
-That's true ... Wars aren't won with terrorism, neither wars nor revolutions. Terrorism is a beginning but afterward, all the people must act ... This is the reason for the strike, and its necessity: to mobilize all Algerians, count them and measure their strength ...
-To show them to the UN, right?
-Good evening ... Can we pass?
-It's too late. No one is allowed to enter the Casbah at this hour. It's impossible.
-But it's not even midnight yet!
-It's ten minutes past midnight. Curfew begins at midnight.
-Please, we just want to take a short ride. A friend of mine has never seen the Casbah.
-Where were we?
-Good, thank you, Corbiere... . See you tomorrow.
-Tell me ... Where is this rue de Thèbes?
-Rue de Thèbes? In the Upper Casbah, I think ...
-All right. See you tomorrow, Corbiere.
-Mathieu! Mathieu, a name ...
-A name?
-And so the tapeworm no longer has a head. Are you satisfied, Mathieu? In Algiers everything should be over.
-Yes, I believe there won't be any more talk of the NLF for some time.
-Bah, for that matter, Algeria isn't the only country in the world ...
-Why?
-You seem to be very satisfied to have taken me alive ...
-Of course I am.
-That proves that I was wrong. Evidently I credited you with an advantage greater than I should have.
-What is she saying?
-Who is speaking?
-Mathieu. Colonel Mathieu.
-Okay. But we want your promise for a fair trial in writing. Give us a written statement, Mathieu, and then we'll surrender.
-How can I give you this statement?
-We'll lower a basket from the window ...
-Are you ready, colonel?
-How you doin' Mister D?
-Yeah -- I hear they had 'em a real dog and pony show going on up there - - I'll tell you, sometimes white people are a real puzzle to me. I mean, did this old guy really think he was gonna be able to keep up with a sweet little number like that?
-It could've happened to anyone.
-We have to find out who else would profit from Marsh's death -- and who knew enough about his personal life to know that putting cocaine in the nasal spray would be fatal.
-So -- where do we start?
-Before you ask there's nothing new on the coke.
-You've got to get me something I can use, Charlie.
-I've been waiting for you to get back.
-You got something on the coke?
-I would have missed it -- but the phone rang and I let it play while I talked. It looks like blank tape -- but it isn't. It's been erased without any input signal coming in.
-So, what good is it to us if it's been erased?
-It's very good -- because when the D.A's office saw it they assumed it was the end of the tape, otherwise they would have buried it.
-Why?
-I'm sorry to barge in -- but I figured after that bombshell that got laid on you today you could use some good news?
-Charlie -- are you going to make a point soon?
-Joanne Braslow is getting more and more interesting. I followed her today to an attorney's office. Joseph Koehler.
-Joe Koehler. I know him. He's an estate attorney -- and he's very expensive.
-Here it is! According to the old will Joanne Braslow was to inherit two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
-What good does that do -- it's the old will?
-Under the law a person cannot profit from their own wrong doing. Since Rebecca Lawson is the sole beneficiary of the new will, if she is found guilty the will is void and Joanne Braslow could make a very good case to have the old will reinstated.
-Take some time off.
-You think the D.A.'s gonna file on Joanne?
-You did a good job, Charlie.
-I don't think that this is the time, or the place.
-I just wanted to introduce myself and inform Miss Lawson that there will be an inquiry.
-An inquiry into what?
-For starters I'd like to know why she left the house and didn't report the death?
-Because he wasn't dead when she left, and even if he was, not reporting a natural death in a timely fashion isn't a crime.
-Marsh's Cardiologist told me that after Marsh was diagnosed with heart disease he quit smoking, quit drinking and started exercising every day. Does that sound like a guy who'd start shoveling cocaine up his nose?
-What did he say about Miss Lawson?
-So she knew about his heart?
-Had to. I also interviewed three women who were in past relationships with Marsh. There's no evidence that he had anything but straight sex prior to meeting Miss Lawson.
-What about the will?
-I think I'm going to make your day.
-Yeah.
-About three hours.
-Cause?
-Marsh wasn't alone. We found traces of sperm on the sheets. The toxicology report says there were high levels of cocaine in his blood.
-What'd he die of?
-The official cause of death was a cardiac arrest.
-The official cause?
-That's what my report will read.
-What are you saying, Henry? That his girlfriend fucked him to death?
-What can we prove?
-We know Marsh had a head cold. We found cocaine mixed with water in a nasal spray container on the nightstand. The coke would contract the nasal membrane the same as any decongestant, but for a much shorter time. He'd keep using more and more -- never knowing what he was taking.
-Cocaine is the last thing a man in his condition would want.
-Doctor McCurdy, what was the cause of death?
-A massive cardiac arrest.
-What was Mr. Marsh's physical condition prior to his death?
-Very poor. He was suffering from severe arterial disease.
-Was the heart attack the result of natural causes?
-No.
-What induced it?
-We found a high concentration of cocaine in his blood.
-So, Mr. Marsh used cocaine?
-I don't think so. The membrane in his nasal passage didn't show any sign of long time usage.
-Then how did it get into his body?
-Is this the bottle that was found on the nightstand?
-Yes.
-Your Honor, the State enters this evidence as exhibit A. Were any fingerprints found on the bottle?
-Yes -- those of Mr. Marsh and a thumb print of Miss Lawson's.
-Dr. McCurdy, what would cocaine do to someone in Mr. Marsh's condition?
-Increase his heart rate.
--- And if he were in the midst of making love while under the influence of cocaine?
-It would be an added stress to his heart.
-What would be the effect if someone secretly administered cocaine to Mr. Marsh and then induced him to make love?
-It would be the same as shooting a gun at him.
-Mrs. Crawford, you were Mr. Marsh's maid for nine years?
-Yes.
-Did Miss Lawson and Mr. Marsh ever argue?
-Like cats and dogs.
-What did they argue about?
-You name it -- they argued about it. Mr. Marsh tried his best to keep her happy -- but it seemed that no matter what he did it was never enough for her.
-Did they argue the day before he died?
-Well -- he died on a Sunday and I have the weekends off -- but they were ripping at each other with both barrels Friday afternoon.
-What was the nature of the argument?
-Sex.
-Did you ever see Mr. Marsh use cocaine?
-No -- never.
-Your Honor, Mr. Roston is an ex-lover of Miss Lawson's.
-Why didn't the State's investigation uncover Mr. Roston earlier?
-He was away on an extended vacation and just returned two days ago.
-Objection sustained.
-No questions.
-Objection, Your Honor.
-That's it. My client doesn't have to take this crap from you.
-Sit down, Frank.
-Lookin' to make the papers, John?
-Marsh left her close to three million dollars in his will. That's motive. She admits to being there the night of his death. That's opportunity -- and her fingerprints are on the nasal spray bottle.
-Can you?
-Take your pole out of the water, Frank. The fish ain't biting today.
-C'mon -- think about it. If she was going to kill Marsh why leave the nasal spray bottle there for the police to find?
-She planned this. She wanted us to find the nasal spray.
-Why would she want that?
-Because she's clever. Because she knows that even if we didn't find it we'd have suspicions as to why a man in Marsh's condition would use cocaine.
-Suspicions maybe -- but suspicions aren't enough for a conviction.
-The M.E.'s report stated that Marsh's nasal membranes showed no sign of prior cocaine use. Without the nasal spray we would have still treated it as a poisoning. We would have looked for motive and the trail would have still led back to her.
-I don't buy it and neither will a jury.
-We're going all the way on this one, Frank. Tell your client she has until the prelim to cop a plea for murder two -- fifteen to twenty five.
-I'll tell her but she won't take it.
-She's innocent.
-Aren't they all?
-Your Honor, this is a tape from Miss Lawson's answering machine. I would like to play it now.
-Your Honor, I fail to see what Mrs Crawford's educational background has to do with this case.
-Objection, Your Honor. The fact that Mrs. Crawford heard Mr. Troxell reconstruct her sentence and decided to rephrase her words in a more intelligent manner for the court doesn't mean the incident never happened.
-I'm just curious to see if Mr. Troxell reconstructed anything else.
-I've got work to do.
-Hey -- the bell's sounded. It's between rounds.
-What's happening to you, Frank? You're acting like you're on trial here. This has become personal to you.
-That's ridiculous.
-I'm talking to you as a friend now. Don't ruin your life, your career for her. She'll spit you out when this is over.
-You don't know what you're talking about.
-Really? What does an attorney speak to his client about at her house until three o'clock in the morning?
-You've been following me?
-Your Honor, I don't see a Mr. Roston listed as a prosecution witness.
-Objection. The question calls for a conclusion on the part of the witness.
-Your Honor, Mr. Roston lived with the defendant for many months. I feel that his opinion is valid in substantiating the character of the Miss Lawson.
-Objection!
-I'll rephrase the question. Mr. Roston isn't it true you are bisexual?
-Objection! Mr. Roston's sexual preferences are not at issue in this trial.
-Objection! May I remind Mr. Dulaney that the person on trial here is Miss Lawson -- not Dr. Paley.
-Can I go?
-Miss Lawson, do you use cocaine?
-I have.
-Did you use it the night Marsh died?
-Were you aware of Mr. Marsh's heart condition?
-No.
-Mr. Marsh's Cardiologist and his nurse have told us that you accompanied Mr. Marsh to their office on at least two occasions.
-Miss Braslow -- I'm District Attorney John Cardenas. You arrived at what time tonight?
-A little after eleven.
-Why did you come by?
-I had some papers to pick up.
-Do you know who Mr. Marsh was with?
-Her name?
-Rebecca Lawson.
-You wouldn't know her address, would you?
-No -- but I can get it for you.
-How long were you Mr Marsh's personal secretary?
-Six years.
-Did you ever see Mr. Marsh use Cocaine?
-No -- never.
-What about Miss Lawson?
-Yes.
-Tell the court about that, please.
-I opened the bathroom door one day and saw Miss Lawson pouring Cocaine out of a vial.
-Did you see Mr. Marsh the day before his death?
-Yes.
-How did he look?
-Horrible. He was tired and pale.
-Did you talk about Miss Lawson?
-Yes.
-Is it Marsh?
-Who found him?
-His Secretary. Joanne Braslow.
-She was here?
-No. She stopped by to pick up some papers.
-Doctor Trammel, when did you first diagnose that Mr. Marsh had heart disease?
-About a year and half ago.
-Did Mr. Marsh change his lifestyle after that?
-Yes -- he stopped smoking and drinking and exercised regularly.
-He did everything he could to take care of his heart?
-Did Miss Lawson ever accompany Mr. Marsh to your office?
-Yes.
-Just one last question. What does the sign on your office door say?
-Mr. Roston, what was your relationship with Miss Lawson?
-We were lovers.
-How long were you together?
-For about one year.
-How would you describe your sex life with Miss Lawson?
-Intense.
-I know this is a very personal subject, but could you be a little more specific?
-It was wild. She was constantly trying to get me more and more worked up -- kinky things. I tried to satisfy her the best I could, but it was difficult in my condition.
-What kind of condition are you referring to?
-What happened next?
-I had bypass surgery.
-And how are you now?
-Fine. The doctors say if I keep taking care of myself I can live to be a very old man.
-How did your relationship with Miss Lawson progress after the surgery?
-It didn't.
-Why not?
-Why did she say she was leaving?
-She didn't. She just left.
-Why do you think she left you?
-When you say your sexual relations with Miss Lawson were intense what exactly do you mean?
-It was like she was trying to push me as far as she could. She called it opening new doors.
-Can you give the court an example?
-It's hard to resist a woman as beautiful as she is.
-What would she do that made it hard to resist?
-She told me that tonight we were going to open new doors. I asked her to stop -- to take off the handcuffs, but she wouldn't listen.
-Mr. Roston I know this is difficult for you, but it's important you tell the court what she did.
-What did she do next, Mr. Roston?
-She started touching herself and telling me how much she wanted me. She reached down and put me inside her. My doctor had warned me about exerting myself -- but you really don't think of those things at a moment like that. You just think about how beautiful this woman is -- how much you want her. How deeply you want to please her.
-If you knew it was bad for you why did you do it?
-I couldn't help myself. You get lost inside a women like her. It was like a drug. It was the best sex I ever had.
-What happened after that?
-I woke up the next morning and she was gone.
-Yes.
-Who was your primary beneficiary?
-She was.
-Where did you meet Miss Lawson?
-At a dinner party -- about eight months ago.
-Did you ever see her again after that?
-Yes -- several times.
-What eventually happened to your relationship with Miss Lawson?
-We stopped seeing each other.
-Why?
-What kind of information?
-Did you suggest any?
-Yes -- Insulin and others.
-What did she say?
-She said that those weren't any good -- because their use would be detected and the police would know the victim had been poisoned. She wanted to know if there was a drug that would induce a heart attack but could also be used to enhance a sexual high.
--- And what did you suggest?
-Dr. Paley, where were you the last time you saw Miss Lawson?
-Isn't it true that later that night you tried to force yourself on Miss Lawson in the parking lot?
-No.
-You didn't grab her and try to kiss her?
-No.
-Well -- as I remember it, we had an argument.
-And the argument was about the fact that you wanted to be romantically involved and she did not.
-Yes.
-And after that didn't you continuously harass Miss Lawson?
-You'll be sorry?
-I was angry.
-You're still angry, aren't you? Isn't it true that your whole story is nothing more than a vindictive attempt on your behalf to get back at Miss Lawson?
-No -- she asked me about cocaine.
-You can suggest anything you want. It happened.
-I may have been infatuated with her - - but I wouldn't perjure myself.
-Don't you see what she's doing? She needs you to kill me. She's planned it that way from the start. That's why she phoned me tonight.
-I'm sure that every orgasm she had with me was faked.
-That's enough.
-Dr. Trammel, did you ever speak to Miss Lawson about Mr. Marsh's condition?
-No.
-Did Mr. Marsh ever tell you that he had spoken to Miss Lawson about his illness?
-No.
-Did Miss Lawson ever accompany Mr. Marsh inside during his examinations?
-No.
-Then you have no way of knowing what Mr. Marsh told Miss Lawson were the reasons for his visits?
-Dr. Wong -- what type of medicine do you practice?
-Oriental medicine.
---And is Miss Lawson a patient of yours?
-Yes. I've been seeing her for over a year.
-Why does she come to you?
-Did you ever prescribe any medication for her cramps?
-Yes.
-What did you prescribe for her?
-Chinese peony root.
-Would you describe for the court what Chinese peony root looks like?
-How do you instruct your patients to take it?
-I tell them to pour an amount the size of a quarter into the their hand and mix it with water.
-October twenty-seventh.
-One last question, Doctor. If someone didn't know better, would it be easy to mistake the peony root for cocaine?
-Did you go to college, Mrs. Crawford?
-No.
-High school?
-I heard him say it.
-Then -- those are not your own words?
-No.
-Miss Sellers, do you know Dr. Alan Paley?
-Yes.
-Where did you meet him?
-I'm a nurse. I used to work at Roseburg Memorial Hospital. Dr. Paley's on staff there.
-What was the nature of your relationship with Dr. Paley.
-We dated for about a month last year.
-Then what happened?
--- And what did Dr. Paley do after you stopped seeing him?
-He used to call me -- tell me that I couldn't just walk out on him. He said that if I didn't come back he'd make my life miserable.
-Did he make your life miserable?
-Yes -- he did.
-What did he say?
-He laughed -- and basically said he would decide when it was over.
-What happened next?
-While I was seeing Dr. Paley I mentioned to him one night that someone was stealing drugs from the third floor dispensary. Three days after I spoke to him in his office he went to the Head Nurse and told her he had witnessed me stealing drugs.
-What happened?
-I worked for Mr. Marsh for six years. He was a good man -- until she came along.
-What changed?
-You don't really believe what the district attorney is saying about Miss Lawson, do you?
-I don't know. It's incredible to think that anyone could be capable of doing that -- but if anyone could it would be Rebecca.
-I take it you don't like Miss Lawson very much?
-I really don't know her that well. We would say hello to each other when I would come to the house, but that was about it.
-If you don't know her that well what makes you think she's capable of murder?
-How do you know what kind of sex they had?
-I wasn't lookin' through the keyhole if that's what you're thinking. I'd come to house sometimes to pick up papers or speak to Andrew. I'd find their little toys all over the place.
-Did Mr. Marsh use drugs?
-No.
-What about Miss Lawson?
-How do you know that?
-How do you know it was cocaine that Miss Lawson had in the bathroom?
-What other kind of white powder do people keep in a vial?
-Do you remember the date when you saw Miss Lawson in the bathroom?
-Yes-- It was on a Friday. I remember because I was going to visit my sister for her birthday. It would be October twenty-eighth.
-Could you repeat the last part of what Mr. Marsh said to you the day before his death?
-He said that if it kept up she was going to kill him. That his heart couldn't take it.
-Yes -- he mentioned it.
-So, the woman he loved passionately was thinking about leaving. That must cause tremendous anxiety. Sleepless nights. Incredible stress.
-I suppose.
-I don't know. I'm not sure.
-Well, think about it. Isn't it possible?
-Who told you that?
-He video taped you.
-That bastard!
-Yes, I slept with him but that was a long time ago.
-Yes.
-It must have been horrible. Having to go there -- seeing them together - - knowing he was sleeping with her in the same bed he did with you.
-I'm a practical woman Mr. Dulaney. Killing Andrew wasn't in my best interest. As it is I'm out of a job and I'm not in his will.
-I've tried it.
-I've been to a few -- yes.
-You don't like Miss Lawson much do you?
-No.
-You don't like her because you were involved with Mr. Marsh before she came along. Isn't that true?
-Yes.
-You resented the fact that she told you what to do in Mr. Marsh's house?
-And you resented that he cared for her in a way he once cared for you?
-Yes.
---And that Mr. Marsh paid less attention to you?
-Yes.
---and that he changed his will?
-In his previous will Mr. Marsh left you two hundred and fifty thousand dollars -- then he cut you out. Why do you think he did that?
-She talked him into it. She wanted everything.
-Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars is a lot of money. That must have made you pretty angry?
-Yes.
-Well - I'm a little confused. This is a charge receipt from Rosen's Drug Store where Mr. Marsh had an account. It's dated the day of the murder. Is this your signature?
-Yes.
-There's an item you picked up that's marked. Will you read it?
-Dristan nasal spray.
-Would you read for us the time of the purchase?
-Three fifteen.
-A.M -- or P.M.?
-P.M.
-You see that's what bothers me. No other bottle of nasal spray was found in the house. The police looked. There was only the one bottle. But you say you didn't arrive until after Mr. Marsh was dead -- yet we know he was using the nasal spray prior to his death. How do you think it got there?
-Isn't it true that you stopped by the house after you left the drug store and dropped off the items you bought?
-No.
-Isn't it true that you put the cocaine in the bottle?
-No! Why would I want to kill him?
-You take what people say and make it ugly. You make others believe what you want them to. She should have been found guilty. She shouldn't have gotten off.
-Then you would have gotten your money?
-Yes.
-What do you have in your purse?
-I'm gonna go to jail. I know they're gonna make it look like I did it. They gotta put it on someone.
-Why'd you come here?
-To show you this. It's a letter from that lawyer, Koehler. He wrote it to me the day after I saw him. He's the one who told me I could get the money if Miss Lawson went to jail.
-You didn't know about it before that?
-Then why did you go see Mr. Koehler in the first place?
-Hi, Joe.
-Frank -- what are you doing here?
-I need to ask you a question. What made you get in touch with Joanne Braslow?
-You know I can't talk about that.
-I'm not asking for names or specifics. I just want to know what prompted you to make the call?
-Yes.
-And your sexual tastes were something that you hid from Miss Lawson?
-Yes.
-And didn't Miss Lawson come home one day and find you in bed with your male lover?
-Yes.
-Would it be fair to say that when she did find out it was a shock to her?
-Yes.
-Are you going to represent me?
-Do you think I did it?
-I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.
-You must have some feeling. Some immediate impression. A young, attractive woman, involved with an older man who leaves her everything in his will. And the things that went on in that house. Such wild sex. What kind of picture does that paint?
-And that's exactly what the jury will see when they look at me. That's why I need a very good lawyer, Mr. Dulaney.
-He'll file. He's an ambitious man. Ambitious men build their careers on the bodies of others.
-Frank!
-I want you to know right now that the trial's going to be nasty. Your sex life is going to be dragged through the mud. They're going to say that you enticed Marsh -- led him down a dark path.
-Andrew hardly needed leading. He was a very passionate man. He was eager to explore. I gave him what he wanted. We fulfilled each others needs.
-I'm used to being on the outside looking in. The same men who will publicly profess their moral outrage for my sexual tastes are the same ones who privately rest their sweaty little hands on my legs and talk about weekend trips together.
-Those same men will be sitting on the jury.
-Have you ever seen animals make love, Mr. Dulaney? They have such passion -- such savage emotion. They struggle, and snarl, and claw, but neither hurts the other. Not really.
-No pain, no gain?
-Something like that.
-I think we're getting a little off the subject here.
-I thought the subject was sex?
-As it pertains to you -- not me. Did you always know you had different... tastes?
-Yes.
-How?
-I don't know if it's something I can explain to you.
-Why not?
-Because -- it's beyond intellect. It's emotion. It's passion. It has to be experienced -- it can't be imagined.
-When I was growing up we had a strawberry patch in our backyard. So did this family down the road. I used to sneak in their yard and steal their strawberries. It wasn't easy. The stone walls were high and I'd scrape my knees as I climbed over. On the other side were wild rose bushes. The thorns would dig into my legs and
-If you had what you wanted at home why did you sneak into their yard?
-How'd you meet Marsh?
--- And then?
-We started talking. In fact, we talked until four in the morning. We discovered we shared a lot of the same interests. After that we were together all the time until he left. He used to call me every night after he came back. Then after a few weeks he invited me to come visit him. I've never left.
-Can we get out of here?
-This is your house.
-Why not?
-Because, I'm your attorney. I shouldn't be going to your house.
-Is it against the law?
-What do you think?
-I think the photographer's probably a voyeur.
-I'm the photographer.
-Oh -- Well, they're different.
-That's not an answer.
-It's not my taste.
-Nothing.
-Hello?
-Hi. It's Frank.
-Hi, Frank.
-I just wanted to see if my secretary called to confirm your appointment tomorrow.
-Yes -- she did.
-Great. I'll see you at the office at nine.
-Yeah.
-Sorry.
-Tell me about Doctor Paley?
-I hardly know him. He wanted me and he couldn't have me.
-It's going to be hard to convince a jury that he's testifying against you in a murder trial because you blew him off.
-Did you always want to be a lawyer?
-No -- I wanted to be a professional hockey player.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-That seems so far away from who you are now. What happened?
-I broke my ankle skating. That ended that dream.
-Yes -- it would be nice.
-What would?
-You and me -- making love.
-Is that what you think I was thinking?
-There's nothing wrong in admitting that you want me, Frank.
-You lied to me!
-What?
-I just left Joanne Braslow. She told me she saw you doing cocaine at Marsh's house!
-She's mistaken.
-That's not good enough, Goddamit!
-It isn't true. You have to believe me.
-No, I don't have to believe you. The jury has to believe you and answers like he's lying or she's mistaken aren't going to convince them.
-I don't use cocaine anymore. If she says she saw me doing it she's lying.
-Why would she lie?
-I called you all weekend. Where were you?
-Alone?
-You were brilliant today.
-Can I see you later?
-Something wrong?
-I'm sure you'll be able to handle him.
-I'm glad you have such confidence in me.
-Don't worry about Paley. He can't touch me. No one can. I've thought it all out.
-Sugar or honey?
-Rebecca -- take these off.
-What are you going you doing?
-What's that for?
-To celebrate how masterfully you destroyed Roston today.
-Rebecca -- we shattered a man's life in open court.
-Fuck him! He tried to shatter mine.
-He was only doing what he thought was right.
-You killed him -- didn't you?
-I knew you were thinking that. I could see it in your eyes today in the courtroom. You're wrong, Frank. I need you to believe that.
-You don't need anybody.
-I'm dropping the case.
-You can think whatever you want, Frank -- but I didn't kill Andrew, and I'm not going to prison for something I didn't do.
-You're a monster.
-Hello?
-You killed him. You killed him -- and I got you off.
-I've been thinking about that. I've decided to give it to you after I've collected the inheritance. You can take that one if you want -- but there's another copy.
-That wasn't the deal.
-So, sue me. Things have changed. I think you should go home -- and after you leave I see no reason for us to ever have contact again.
-I'm not leaving without that tape.
-She's right, Paley. You've got to kill me. She doesn't have to -- she's free -- she can't be tried again -- but you, you planned it with her. You supplied the Coke. You're an accessory to murder.
-No -- he's lying.
-How's it supposed to work Rebecca? You and Paley celebrate your victory. You get me over here and provoke a fight so he has to rush in and save you -- but then he's given himself away as your accomplice -- now he has to kill me. After that I figure she'll tell the Police that you broke in. That you were crazed because
-Andrew Marsh was a very wealthy man. A trial like this is going to put Cardenas in the spot-light.
-We've already got press arriving from over the country and she hasn't even been charged yet. Cardenas wants to see her in his office tomorrow at ten. I'd like you to go with her.
-I know -- but she wants you to represent her if Cardenas files.
-Why?
-Because I told her you were the best criminal attorney we have.
-Raymond, I'm the only criminal attorney you have.
-Alright, I'll talk to her
-What are they saying?
-The kids at school say she humped Mr. Marsh to death.
-Hey, you know better than that. What did I teach you to say when someone is accused of doing something?
-You know how it is sometimes when you're out playing ball with your friends? How you're really concentrating on what you're doing -- and you lose track of time and you come home late and Mom yells at you?
-Yeah.
-Well, that's kind of how I am right now.
-I love you.
-Michael -- get off the phone.
-Why?
-Because I'm expecting a call.
--- But it's Sunday.
-I know what day it is! Get off the phone.
-Do it quickly, Mr. Dulaney.
-Mr. Dulaney, before you cast aspersions on the District Attorney's Office by suggesting they've coaxed this witness to say things that aren't true -- you better have more than a hunch. Do you?
-No, Your Honor.
-But Your Honor--
-Objection. The witness has already stated that Miss Lawson left without an explanation.
-The witness will answer the question.
-Miss Braslow, I'd like to remind you that you are still under oath.
-Your Honor -- the prosecution has introduced cocaine as one of the contributing reasons Mr. Marsh died. How it may have been introduced into the household is of vital importance.
-Are you able to back up this allegation -- or are you fishing?
-I can back it up.
-You're on vacation, remember? You're supposed to be relaxing.
-I am relaxing.
-This is not relaxing.
-Really?
-Really.
-And I suppose you're going to show me how to relax?
-If you want me to.
-Can't it wait?
-Hello?... Hi Raymond.... What?... Well, I was sort of planning on... Alright... Okay, goodbye. That was Sattler. He thinks the D.A.'s going to file on Rebecca Lawson. He wants me in the office tomorrow morning.
-We're supposed to go to the lake.
-I know. What can I do? He is the boss.
-I swear -- the both of you. Some example you set.
-How can Cardenas possibly think he can build a case against two consenting adults?
-He must have something or he wouldn't be pressing so hard.
-If he files are you going to take the case?
-I don't know yet. I want to hear what she says at her statement tomorrow.
-What's she like?
-She sounds like quite a woman.
-Humped
-Yes.
-Frank -- I know you're busy, but Michael asked me after dinner if you were angry with him. He wanted to know why you weren't talking to him.
-I'll talk to him later.
-Why don't you talk to him now?
-Because I go to trial in seven weeks. I've got a lot of preparing to do.
-Is that alright, Frank?
-Yeah -- what are you doing up?
-We have to talk.
-What's wrong?
-Sharon, it's late. Can we get to the point?
-Working. Charlie and I were going over some statements.
-Charlie called at eleven thirty looking for you. You were with her, weren't you?
-Yes.
-Why did you lie to me?
-This isn't a courtroom. Don't try to turn this around on me.
-I'm not.
-You're sleeping with her, aren't you?
-No.
-I was thinking that when the trial is over we'd all go skiing for a weekend.
-I know.
-You wouldn't like what you'd see. You don't know me anymore. I don't know me anymore.
-We can't pretend this isn't happening.
-Please -- not now.
-Why didn't you come to me?
-I don't know.
-You used to like to touch me -- to make love to me.
-It's more involved than that.
-It was a place to start.
-You think that's the answer? Sex? Is that what you want? You want me to make love to you?
-Frank -- stop it! Stop it!
-Albert's got the stomach flu.
-That's too bad.
-No, it's not. Now I get to pitch.
-Michael, you shouldn't be happy when someone else isn't feeling well.
-Not even if they're a dork?
-Don't use language like that at the dinner table.
-Let me go! Godammit, Frank let go!
-I didn't know that Andrew was dead until Mr. Sattler called me at home that night.
-Yes.
-What time did you leave?
-Did Marsh use it?
-No -- never.
-It had to get there somehow.
-No, we just had lunch at the hotel with my brother and his new wife. She told me all the dirt. I forgot how interesting things can get around here. It was so good to see them. The last time we visited they were in Europe. He is doing so well. He ordered champagne. For lunch! I nearly died.
-I nearly died when we split the bill.
-Michael doesn't understand. People who make the kind of money my brother makes don't carry money on them. They keep it all in various accounts.
-Boy. It sure has been a long time.
-We were here two Christmases ago.
-Well, that's a long time.
-It's not that long.
-Well, why don't I just say black so you can say white! Don't be surprised to find your brother hasn't changed an iota. He hardly ever talks and when he does it's in that tone! You should have heard him at lunch -- not two words until the bill came and then he says, "Worth every penny."
-SO!
-You said it in that tone! Like you were angry at me, my brother, at the world for forcing you to eat a nice lunch!
-Oh Jesus.
-My Jewish friend's grandmother did.
-Not to mention people driving over her and doggies doing their business --
-We're not doing it! I'm not even sure it's Christian.
-Maybe it's an Italian thing. Their mother was Italian.
-It's a beautiful picture of her.
-I don't mind waiting.
-Well, there's a lot of boring stuff to do. Lists of people we have to write to. Find mama's relatives addresses in Italy -- stuff like that.
-Well, I can help.
-I am so sick and tired of apologizing and not knowing what I've done!
-Eeeww!
-How bizarre!
-Oh, just a old letter from a friend.
-No treasure maps, huh?
-I do not need instructions from you to bathe! I knew you'd do this! I knew I'd come all the way here and be shut out as usual! I came to be here for you! I didn't have to come! Lord knows I was never much welcome in this house before. Apparently dead or alive, nothing's changed.
-Carolyn -- you want these candlesticks?
-Explain to me again why we didn't do this in Des Moines in an air conditioned office?
-Mom's orders.
-Lawyer here?
-He dropped them off at Betty's mom. Where's Steve?
-I thought everything WAS arranged.
-Well, there's a problem.
-I remember a Mrs. Delaney but Mama told me years ago she died.
-Yeah.
-Michael.
-What?!
-"-- going over and over in my mind every detail, every moment of our time together and I ask myself, "What happened to me in Madison County?" I struggle to put it together in a way that allows me to continue knowing we're on separate roads. But then I look through the lens of my camera, and you're there. I start to write an
-What's he saying now?
-Well, he just gets on about how if mama ever needed him, she could find him through the National Geographic magazine. He as a photographer. He promises not to write again. Then all it says is... I love you... Robert.
-Robert! Jesus! I'll kill him.
-That would be some trick. He's already dead. That's what this other letter is. From his attorney. He left most of his things to mama and requested...
-What?
-That he be cremated and his ashes thrown on Roseman Bridge.
-DAMN HIM! I knew mama wouldn't have thought of that herself. It was some damn perverted... photographic mind influencing her! When did the bastard die?
-'82.
-Wait a minute! That was thirty years after daddy. Do you think...?
-I don't know. I'm completely in the dark here. That's what I get for moving away.
-My Lord. It must feel real nice living inside your head with Peter Pan and the Easter Bunny.
-Don't talk to me like that. She was my mother for Christsakes. And now I find out she was... She was a --!
-Don't say that!
-Well, what am I supposed to think?
-I can't believe she never told me? We spoke at least once a week. How could she do that?
-How did she meet him? Did Dad know? Anything else in that envelope?
-I can't believe she's making jokes.
-Grateful!?
-"... It's all there in the three notebooks. Read them in order. If you don't want to, I suppose that's okay too. But in that case I want you to know something -- I never stopped loving your father. He was a very good man. It's just that my love for Robert was different. He brought out something in me no one had ever
-What are you doing?
-This is crazy. She waits till she's dead to tell us all this. Well, I got news for you. She was my mother. That's enough for me. I don't have to know who she was.
-Well, I'd like to read them.
-No. We're going to lock this up and --
-He's getting her drunk. That's what happened. Jesus, maybe he forced himself. That's why she couldn't tell us.
-Oh, he did not. He's such a nice guy.
-Nice? He's trying to sleep with somebody's wife.
-I had no idea it's gotten that bad, sis.
-Oh, don't feel sorry for me. Please. No one's forcing me to stay.
-Then why do you?
-Bar across the street.
-Have you called Betty? Maybe you should.
-I found out who Lucy Delaney is. Remember the Delaneys from Hillcrest Road?
-Yeah. But I thought she died.
-He remarried. Apparently they were having an affair for years. Apparently the first Mrs. Delaney was a bit of a stiff.
-You mean -- she didn't like sex?
-I bet mom could've helped her.
-Boy. All these years I've resented not living the wild life in some place like Paris and all the time I could've moved back to Iowa... Are you drunk?
-Not yet. You want to go?
-I used to love this place. I used to take Kathy Reynolds down here.
-You never dated Kathy Reynolds!
-Not officially. Her and Steve Kendall were pinned at birth. But I was crazy about her. And for about three months, I managed to catch her during her "exploring" stage.
-I never knew that.
-Nobody did.
-Was this during Betty?
-Everything was during Betty. God we were so young. Why did we think we had to do it all so fast? I've never cheated on Betty. Not once we were married, I mean.
-Did we want to?
-Only about a thousand times. What do I do now? "What's good enough for mom is good enough for me?"
-What gets me is I'm 46 years old. I've been in this crummy fucking marriage -
-Carolyn!
--- for over twenty years because that's what I was taught -- you stick with it! Normal people don't get divorced. I can't remember the last time my husband made love to me so intensely that he transported me to Europe, for Christ's sake -- quite frankly, I don't think he ever did! And now I find out in between bake sales, my mother
-What about me! I feel really weird. Like she cheated on me, not dad. Isn't that sick? I don't mean I wanted to sleep with her or anything but -- ya know -- being the only son. You're sort of made to feel like you're the prince of the kingdom, ya know? And in the back of your mind, you kind of think your
-Mrs. Delaney. Did you hear the latest?
-See. Money don't buy happiness. I must say, she's taking it well.
-I'd kill him. Him and that Redfield woman. Together. First one then the other. And then I'd laugh.
-She's changed.
-Oh, yes.
-My niece had "the changes" when she was thirty-one.
-No. What a tragedy. What happened?
-Oh, this heat! Times like this I wish we took that offer from your brother and moved on up to Michigan.
-They got heat in Michigan.
-Not this kind of heat.
-Heat is heat.
-Heat is not heat! There's different kinds! And this heat is much hotter than what they got in Michigan. You go and call your brother and see if he don't say the same thing.
-Well, nobody put a gun to his head.
-What do you know about "the changes"?
-Well, I didn't know they was a secret club.
-Madge?
-Madge. Please. Something's happened. I've met someone. I've fallen in love in a way I've never thought could happen my entire life. It's our last day together. I feel like I'm going to die when he leaves. Please. Help me.
-I don't know. I woke up a little dizzy. I didn't sleep well. I think I need to lay down.
-You want me to call the doctor?
-No, no. I just didn't sleep well. I'm not used to sleeping alone. And this heat. Would you mind?
-No, of course not. I'll just clean up.
-No, leave it. I'll do it later. Listen, maybe you and Floyd can come for dinner on Saturday. I'm sure Richard'll have so many stories to tell you both about the fair and all.
-Are you supposed to be in Iowa?
-Roseman Bridge?
-That's it.
-Well, you're pretty close. It's only about two miles from here.
-If I'm not taking you away from anything.
-Pretty country.
-There's a wonderful smell about Iowa -- very particular to this part of the country. Do you know what I mean?
-No.
-I can't describe it. I think it's from the loam in the soil. This very rich, earthy kind of... alive... No. No, that's not right. Can you smell it?
-Maybe it's because I live here.
-Are you from Washington originally?
-Uh-huh. Lived there till I was twenty or so and then moved to Chicago when I got married.
-Oh. When did you move back?
-After the divorce.
-Oh.
-How long you been married?
-Uh... uh... Umm... long time.
-You don't look like a native, if you don't mind my saying so.
-No, I don't mind. I'm not from here. I was born in Italy.
-Well, from Italy to Iowa -- that's a story! Whereabouts in Italy?
-Small town on the Eastern side no one's ever heard of called Bari.
-Oh yeah, Bari. I've been there.
-No, really?
-You just... got off the train because it looked pretty?
-So, how long you've been living here?
-Long. You just got off the train and stayed without knowing anyone there?
-This won't take long. I'm shooting tomorrow morning. I just need to do some prep work.
-This time of year.
-Oh there you are.
-Men sill give women flowers, don't they? I mean, as a sign of appreciation? I'm not that out of date, am I?
-No, not at all -- except those are poisonous.
-Are you by nature a sadistic person?
-Looking for something in particular? There's not much of a selection.
-Oh, that's nice.
-Want another cigarette?
-Well, thank you for all your help, Mrs. Johnson.
-Francesca.
-Lemon?
-Mind if I smoke?
-Sure you want to keep those in the house?
-I'm so sorry about that. It was rude. I think I just got nervous for some reason.
-Where are you staying while you're here?
-A little place with cabins. The something-Motor Inn. I haven't checked in yet.
-And how long are you here for?
-As long as it takes, I might stay a week. No more I don't think. Where's your family?
-My husband took the kids to the Illinos State Fair. My daughter's entering a prize steer.
-Oh. How old?
-About a year and a half.
-No, your kids.
-Oh. Michael's 17 and Carolyn's 16.
-Everything does. One of the laws of nature. People are always so afraid of change. But if you look at it like it's something you can count on happening, it's actually a comfort. Not many things you can count on for sure.
-I guess. Except I'm one of the people it frightens.
-I doubt that.
-Why?
-Italy to Iowa? I'd call that a change.
-Richard was in the army. I met him while I was living in Naples. I didn't know where Iowa was. I only cared that it was America. And of course, being with Richard.
-He's very... clean.
-Clean?
-No. I mean yes, he's clean but he's also other things. He's a very hard worker. Very honest. Very caring. Gentle. Good father.
-And clean.
-Feeling better?
-Much.
-Is the dizziness gone?
-I better go. You sure you're all right? It's been a pleasure. Sincerely.
-I feel so embarrassed.
-Why? You uncorked a bottle. From what I can tell, I got here just in time. Any later and you'd have made the front page, running down Main Street naked, smoking Camels out of your butt.
-But I... We don't even know each other.
-Would you like to stay for dinner? There aren't many choices in town and ... anyway, you'd have to eat alone. So would I.
-Help cook?
-Sure. Men cook. We don't all eat bananas with our feet, ya know.
-What?
-She starts sniffing me.
-Oh my God... You're blushing.
-It's still a very sensitive memory for me.
-Then what happened?
-We got engaged.
-You ought to write these stories down.
-Nah. I've tried. My writing's too technical, I think. Problem of being a journalist too long is you stop giving yourself permission to invent. I better just stick to making pictures.
-"Making pictures." I like that. You really love what you do, don't you?
-I'm kind of obsessed by it, actually.
-Why, do you think?
-I don't know if obsessions have reasons. I think that's why they're obsessions.
-You sound like an artist.
-No. I wouldn't say that. National Geographic isn't exactly the hub of artistic inspiration. They like their wild life in focus and without any personal comment. I don't mind really. I'm not artist. I'd faced that a long time ago. It's the course of being well-adjusted. I'm too normal.
-I didn't mean that the way it sounded.
-And did you?
-I'd like to think so. I know one of them went on to Medical school.
-Why did you stop?
-My children. And Richard didn't like my working.
-Do you miss it?
-I don't know. I've never thought about it... what was the most exciting place you've ever been to? Unless you're tired of talking about it.
-I'm sorry. That was...
-No. It's all right. I just meant, it might be a little dull for you, telling all this to some housewife in the middle of nowhere.
-My God. How I'd love to see that.
-Well, it's kind of buggy out there.
-Have no fear. This Shoshone Medicine Woman taught me how to make bug repellent tea out of tree root.
-You drink bug repellent?
-Smells like dirt.
-You get used to it.
-When?
-You want to go back in?
-You've got it all right here, you know. It's just as beautiful as any other place I've seen. God, it knocks me out.
-What?
-This "... Of what I call God and fools can Nature." Who wrote that?
-Umm, I don't know. I can look it up.
-You sure you won't let me help you with those dishes?
-No. I'll do them later.
-Francesca?
-What?
-Are you all right?
-Yes.
-Francesca?
-What?
-Do you mind if I... ask you why you got divorced?
-Not at all. I wasn't around much... So why did I get married? Well, I thought it was a good idea at the time. Have a home base. Roots. You can get lost moving around so much.
-So what happened?
-I never got lost. For some reason, I'm more at home everywhere than at one place. So I decided I'll think of myself as some kind of world citizen. I belong everywhere and nowhere. I'm kin to everyone, and no one in particular. See, once you get into the habit of not needing anyone, it's kind of hard to break.
-You must get lonely at times.
-Never touch the stuff. I've got friends all over the world. Good friends I can see when I want, if I want.
-Woman friends, too?
-You really don't need anyone?
-No, I think I need everyone! I love people. I want to meet them all! I just think there are too many out there saying "This is mine." or "She's mine." Too many lines have been drawn. World's breaking apart because of man's weakness for some testosterone conquests over territory and power and people. He wants control over what deep down he knows he
-Why doesn't it scare you?
-I embrace Mystery. I don't know what's coming. And I don't mind.
-Do you ever regret it? The divorce, I mean.
-No.
-Do you ever regret not having a family?
-Not everybody's supposed to have a family.
-But -- how can you just live for what you want? What about other people?
-I told you, I love other people.
-But no one in particular.
-No. But I love them just the same.
-But it's not the same.
-That's not what you're saying. I know it's not the same. What you're saying is, it's not as good. Or it's not as normal or proper.
-No, I'm just saying --
-I'm a little sick of this American Family Ethic everyone seems to be hypnotized by in this country. I guess you think I'm just some poor displaced soul doomed to roam the earth without a self-cleaning oven and home movie.
-Just because someone chooses to settle down and have a family doesn't necessarily mean they're hypnotized. Just because I've never seen a gazelle stampede doesn't mean I'm asleep in the world.
-My mistake. I apologize.
-What made you ask such a question?
-I thought that's what we were doing -- asking questions.
-I thought we were just having a conversation. You seem to be reading all this meaning into it. Meanings I must be too simple to, uh... interpret or something.
-Listen, I'm sorry I --
-No, no. Forgive me. I made a mistake. It was an inappropriate thing to ask.
-Francesca?
-Yes! Hi.
-Am I interrupting anything?
-No. I was just... No.
-I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, but I just read your note. I stuffed it into my pocket. The light was fading and I had to get my shot.
-The light was fading. Huh-huh.
-I would love to come for dinner.
-Wonderful. Uh...
-Listen, I have to shoot Cedar Bridge until a little after sunset. I want a few night shots. Would you like to come with me? If you're interested...
-Oh, sure. Great.
-I'll pick you up.
-No. I'll drive myself. I have a few errands. I'll meet you there.
-Okay. See you later.
-It's Robert.
-Oh, hi. Look, I'm running a little late, but I'll still...
-Oh.
-I uh... I had lunch in town today. Happened to cross paths with "that Redfield woman." I apologize. I thought you were half-joking about that.
-Oh. I guess you got the whole story.
-The cashier at the general store was very dangerous.
-I think he's running for town crier next year.
-I now know more about their affair than I remember about my marriage. Francesca, the last thing I want to do is put you in any kind of situation that would... even though we know it's just -- I mean, it's nothing like that, but if anybody saw us or...
-Yeah?
-Sorry I'm late. Richard called.
-Oh, how is he?
-Fine. They're all having a good time. How many more shots do you have?
-Can I help?
-Actually, no. I've got everything under control. I'd like to clean up myself a bit. I'm going to take a bath. Dinner'll be ready in about a half hour.
-How about if I set the table?
-Sure.
-Would you like a beer for your bath?
-Are you comfortable? Do you... want to move to the bedroom?
-You want to eat something?
-Are you hungry?
-Take me somewhere.
-What?
-Right now. Tell me someplace you've been -- someplace on the other side of the world. Anywhere but here.
-How about Italy?
-Yes.
-How about Bari?
-Yes. Tell me about the day you got off the train.
-Have you ever been to that station?
-Yes.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-I just feel like I'm getting a little ... out of control that's all. It's kind of frightening.
-Why?
-Why!? Because, I'm having thoughts I hardly know what to do with. I... can't seem to... stop them.
-Nobody's asking you to.
-And arraccinos and zeppolis. Yes! I know it!
-I sat outside and had coffee.
-Where? Near the doorway or the near the front of the church?
-Near the church.
-On that one is beautiful. Look at their expressions. As if the camera weren't on them at all. As if they had no strength left to hide what they were feeling.
-He's a genius. They're not photographs -- they're stories, entire histories captured in moments.
-I bet you could do a book.
-No. I couldn't.
-Why do you say that?
-But you don't mind.
-What were you like when you were younger?
-Trouble. Why?
-I just wondered. Why were you trouble?
-I had a temper.
-I can't do this, honey.
-What?
-You're somewhere else, where?
-Just that it's been a perfect day and that I'd like to skip my fancy dessert and go home after this.
-Uh-huh. And?
-Where was she?
-I don't know why I'm so tired all of a sudden.
-Long day. Go to sleep.
-Am I too heavy for you?
-Sleep all right?
-Yes, thanks.
-Good. More coffee? Robert, I hope you don't mind my asking, but I feel like I should.
-What?
-I... What do you want?
-Well, I just want to know the procedure. I don't want to upset your routine. Do you want any jam?
-Routine! I don't have a routine. And if you think that's what this is -
-Well, what is this?
-Well, why is that up to me? You're the one who's married. You told me you have no intention of leaving your husband.
-To do what? Be with someone who needs everyone and no one in particular? I mean, what would be the point. Would you pass the butter?
-I was honest with you. I told you who I was.
-What are you doing?
-Gee, I don't know. I guess I'm not cut out to be a World Citizen who experiences everything and nothing at the same time.
-How do you know what I experience?
-I know you! What can this possibly mean to anyone who doesn't "need" meaning - "Who goes with the Mystery" -- who pretends he isn't scared to death.
-Stop it!
-You have no idea what you've done to me, do you? And after you leave, I'm going to have to wonder for the rest of my life what happened here. If anything happened at all! And I'll have to wonder if you find yourself in some... housewife's kitchen in Romania if you'll sit there and tell her about your world of good friends and
-What do you want me to say?
-STOP IT!
-Fine. More eggs or should we just fuck on the linoleum one last time?
-I told you! I won't apologize for who I am.
-No one's asking you to!
-I won't be made to feel like I've done something wrong.
-You won't be made to feel! Period. You've carved out this little part for yourself in the world where you get to be a voyeur, a hermit and a lover whenever you feel like it and the rest of us are just supposed to feel so incredibly grateful for the brief time you've touched our lives! Well, go to hell! It isn't human not
-I DON'T WANT TO NEED YOU!
-WHY?
-BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE YOU!
-If I've done anything to make you think that what's happened between us is nothing new for me -- is some routine -- then I do apologize.
-No matter how I keep turning it around in my mind -- it doesn't seem like the right thing.
-For who?
-For anyone. They'll never be able to live through the talk. Richard will never be able to. He doesn't deserve that. He hasn't hurt anyone in his life.
-Then he can move! People move!
-His family's lived for almost a hundred years. Richard doesn't know how to live anywhere else. And the kids...
-The kids are grown! They don't need you anymore. You told me that. They hardly talk to you.
-No, they don't say much. But Carolyn's 16. She's just about to find out about all this for herself -- she's going to fall in love, she's going to try and figure out how to build a life with someone. If I leave what does that say to her?
-What about us? What about me?
-You've got to know deep down that the minute we leave here. It'll all change.
-Yeah. It could get better.
-No matter how much distance we put between us and this house, I bring with it with me. And I'll feel it every minute we're together. And I'll blame loving you for how much it hurts. And then even these four days won't be anything more than something sordid and... a mistake.
-Francesca, listen to me. You think what's happened to us happens to just anybody? What we feel for each other? How much we feel? We're not even two separate people anymore. Some people search their whole lives for it and wind up alone -- most people don't even think it exists and you're going to tell me that giving it up is the right
-We are the choices we've made, Robert.
-Robert. Please. You don't understand -- no one does. When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children -- in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your
-But now that you have it -
-I don't know. Please...
-I'm going to be here a few more days. I'll be at the Inn. We have some time. Let's not say any more now.
-No. Don't do this.
-I CAN'T SAY GOODBYE YET! We'll leave it for now. We're not saying goodbye. We're not making any decision. Maybe you'll change your mind. Maybe we'll accidentally run into each other and ... and you'll change your mind.
-Mrs. Johnson! Mrs. Johnson! Is it true Cary Grant has proposed to you?
-Yes. And I've accepted.
-What about his engagement to Dyan Cannon?
-I said to him Cary you're being ridiculous. You're more than half her age. He said no one had ever been that honest with him and he falls in love with me.
-What about your husband?
-You feeling better Franny?
-It's a Chicago station. I found it the other day.
-Kinda pretty. Is this uh... jazz kinda singing?
-I don't know. Can we turn it off? I have such a headache.
-'Bout 4:30.
-What time is it?
-Later. Go back to sleep.
-Where you going?
-I'm not tired. I thought I might finish Carolyn's skirt.
-Now?! It's after eleven.
-I can't sleep.
-Again? Maybe you should see a doctor.
-"I had forgotten this. I had somehow remembered it being more his fault, his decision. Then I remembered we made love in that field before we left for home. And I remembered it was my idea. I remembered tearing his shirt and biting his body, hoping he would kidnap me. I had forgotten that too. And I wondered, as I sat there... how many
-I'm positive.
-I'm going to miss you.
-Want anything special for dinner?
-Hmm. How about that brown sugar meat loaf you make?
-Franny?
-Hmm?
-Are you seeing Betty tonight?
-Okay.
-What's her name?
-Betty.
-What's she like?
-Uh... Yeah. Yeah. She's real nice.
-Well, what's nice about her? Tell us!
-Well, she's... she's real pretty and ... and she's got a cute shape... she's a good sport, ya know, for laughs and ... she loves fried chicken wings and beer.
-Oh my God...!
-What happened?
-Think for a second. Is there someplace she said she wanted to go?
-About an hour ago.
-They're not going to find her!
-Your mother left explicit instructions that she wished to be cremated.
-When did she decide this?
-Apparently just before her death.
-It clearly states in the will --
-I don't care what it says! Maybe Mama was delirious, you know. She didn't know what she was saying. If she wanted to be cremated, why the hell did she let dad buy two plots, huh?
-Well, she was very specific. She wanted her ashes to be thrown over Roseman Bridge.
-Well, it was notarized, and witnessed by a Mrs. Lucy Delaney. Maybe you can ask her.
-Don't feed that dog.
-You people really don't like dogs.
-Outta my way, boy. Cinnabar? I'm coming!
-Why don't you hang on and I'll see if she's here.
-We can't go back there. Are you crazy? You saw --
-Your father was his best friend. He loved Jeremiah. So he must hate him the most of all now. He'll take his time. But even if it is too late. If your father is dead. It's not over. The door has to be closed.
-Well, close the fucking door by all means. But don't expect me to go down there and do it.
-Hey, watcha doing with that dog?
-He yours, sir?
-Hell no!
-Then what do you care?
-Take my advice. And shoot that dog. Or let me.
-Is it true?
-Yeah. He lived there. And died there, too.
-Died there? How?
-Hey, kid.
-Yeah?
-We practically paying him for the privilege of playing his club.
-Bones! How baddass is zat? This is the place for us. Patrick, you get platinum props, man. Platinum.
-Yeah, in the land of the blind the one eye'd are king.
-What's your problem with Crippled Dick?
-Are you nuts?
-The man said just to use my imagination. Let's see...yeah, I get it. Potential. I can see it now. The first major urban theme park. Village Ghetto land. Kinda like Legoland, but made entirely from broken glass, hypodermic needles and crack vials. Totally E-ticket.
-You didn't hear that? "Take him... " Something. "Bury him" or...
-'S up?
-Ugh. Muchos moscos, man. This is too much.
-Just some flies.
-Oh yeah, I guess this would be that space that was so perfect for a recording studio.
-Boys and girls, Moms and Dads. Children of all ages, I'd like you to meet... Jimmy Bones.
-What the hell you talking about?
-You think that's really him?
-...Bones ol' Bones so mean and bad, whupped his mamma, shot his dad.
-Can you take a little extended solo right about now, funk soul brotha?
-Looks like a damn graveyard round here.
-Damn. That is the ugliest building I have ever seen.
-You want us to move in here?
-You soundin' like the old man now.
-I believe in you guys. You are the real shit. And you know it. Now I'm putting everything I got into this cuz I think we can make it happen, but you gotta put a little in too. Now all I"m asking is that everybody do their part. We'll move some shit in, and take shifts, or all crash together here --
-Tia ain't a chick. She's family. And don't forget it.
-Shit.
-No. Well, yeah. Maybe just a little.
-Where's the others?
-Yeah, we can. Least till after this weekend. He ain't going nowhere. We'll deal with it then.
-You sure got a way with women, bro. What happened up there?
-Where's the gangsta of love?
-Probably stoned out of his gourd in some corner.
-You ain't going down there. Not alone. I'll go.
-We can climb out.
-Climb out to where?
-Is this Hell?
-Don't poison your mind with that ghetto paranoia. That's all just ways of people justifying their own failure.
-Dad, the man has been lying to us for a hundred years. I mean, where is my forty acres and a mule?
-That's what?
-That's some terrible shit.
-Clean your mouth, or I will. Those boys had no business messing down there. Go places you're not meant to be -- that's what you get.
-But that's your old hood, Pops.
-Looking to score?
-Unh-unh, little brother. I got a natural high. A supernatural high.
-Hey, Eddie Mack don't like no wackos on his street. Go be Rain Man on some other bitch's block.
-You tell my old friend Mackie, I'll be seeing him. Soon. Real soon.
-Wh-wh-whooo?
-Yeah, we used to do the after-school b ball at Kenwood. What it is?
-You got a nice crib here.
-I do alright. Everybody's happy.
-What else? Money.
-It ain't the money - it's the high. The big fat floating 'what if?' And it's way more profitable. Nobody ever wins. So you never have to pay out.
-But a two dollar bet is cheaper than a twenty-dollar bag.
-Yeah, but I ain't talking horse. I'm talking about a five-dollar kick in the head that's a quick ticket to heaven. And the fools keep coming back for more.
-Those 'fools' are my people.
-I ain't interested. And if you gonna sell it, don't sell it round here.
-Just try it.
-I said, no thanks.
-Maybe I oughtta get there a little early. For good luck.
-Don't need luck tonight. I'm just letting 'em have their say before I say no.
-Let me see your hand.
-All that shinin' and "reader and adviser" mess. That was your mama's bag. I don't know about the readin' but you both can sure 'nuff advise.
-My mama's bag and my granma's bag, and a long line of mamas before her.
-Left hand's the past. Your right's the present. And the future. But it's not written in stone. It's written in flesh and blood. And flesh and blood will change. See? There's something here, a new line, right across your life line.
-Must be my clothes line. No? How bout my phone line?
-No baby. I'm serious. Cancel that meeting. I got more fruit that needs checking. Come home with me now.
-Gotta be an in-ey and gotta be smooth. If it's ragged, it was picked too soon. Won't ever be ripe. Second, it's got to have just a little give, here. At the edges. And last, but not very far from least... You gotta get your nose in it and give it a gooooood, looooong sniff.
-No? That mean there's something more left of you than just that hungry spirit? What are you going to do now? Kill us? Kill us all?
-Jimmy, you've got --
-I want you to do something for me, baby.
-Where are we, baby?
-Where we'll always be...
-But.
-'Sup Jimmy B. Shotgun. Get back on the curb! Now!
-It's all arranged for tonight. Eddie Mack's gonna be there. And Offisa Korruptsky, too.
-They get about twelve and a half minutes. Tops.
-Trust me, Jimmy, there's big money behind this. Not just big. BIG. Like big business big. Big corporation big. Big government big. Our little acre alone'll net hundreds a thousands. Nothing but net.
-Nothing but net? Could be a swish. Or a muthafucking air ball.
-One simple word, three little letters. Yes. That's all it's gonna take and we could move out of this dump, get the real deal. Big houses, legit business...
-Hey Jimmy, you know Eddie Mack, don't you?
-Everybody just be cool. Jimmy, man, I think you oughtta hear the deal.
-Sorry, my brother.
-Since we was just grasshoppers...
-What it will be.
-How did you get in here?
-I don't understand it. You were my Man. Since we was grasshoppas. I always looked after you. You had a piece of everything I had.
-I didn't want a piece of yours, I wanted my own.
-Wait, Jimmy. Think about it. You woulda done the same thing if you was me.
-What will it take? What do you want? Just tell me, Jimmy!
-Aw that's easy. I want my life back. Can you swing that, my brother?
-You know I can't.
-Aren't you going to join us?
-I have to finish this for class.
-You got a vision, girl. Just like I got. Just like my momma had. And the good Lord didn't give you that vision just for painting pretty pictures. That's just wasted time.
-I'm sorry, Momma. Maybe next time.
-I don't want you meeting around that house. You stay away from those kids. And away from that dog.
-They seemed alright. Bring a little life to that old building.
-Nothing but a wide world o' pain locked in there.
-Have you ever been inside?
-Maybe once upon a time. But that was long ago. Back before... before it became what it is.
-And what's that?
-...I've seen things. In there. Last night. You did too. Don't tell me you didn't. You were crying like a baby.
-You said the vision, the images. They're just that. Just pictures. They can't hurt you. That's what you always said.
-I lied.
-All the more reason I should be here.
-Please. It's for your own good.
-It's alright, baby.
-Who was he, Momma? He tried to kill us.
-If he was trying to kill you, you'd be dead.
-Who? Who is he? What is he?
-You got his hands. Beautiful hands. I didn't even know. That night. When they - we - killed him, that you were already alive inside me. Life's like that. Grows right out of death.
-But if it's him. If he's really come back, won't he know us? Love us?
-Sure, if it was really him. But it isn't that simple. Jimmy's body died a long time ago. And his soul is long gone, and all that's left is that ravening, hungry spirit in the blood that soaked into the house itself, I suppose.
-He'll kill them. He'll kill every last one of them.
-Who?
-Eddie Mack, that cop. And Jeremiah. And even when he's done, who knows. He won't be satisfied. Just like that demon dog. Feed it, and it just grows hungrier. Feed his hunger for revenge - he just wants more. Who knows where it'll stop. That kind of hunger ain't never satisfied.
-Aren't you gonna do something about it?
-Like what? I got a little power, sure. A touch of the shining, a little of the sight. But no more than you do. We're not witches. I can't wiggle my nose or say a magic word and make him go away. Besides, maybe they deserve it. Maybe we all do.
-I don't. Patrick doesn't. And his brother and sister don't. And they're in the house with him.
-We'll have to sneak in.
-No we won't, Momma. I'll just have them call and tell Patrick it's us.
-Told you so. Alright. We tried. Let's go home.
-In his grave there was a cloth or a dress or something. Covered with blood.
-no really, let us help. We're new in the neighborhood, gonna be neighbors.
-Are they on the radio?
-Naw. But they will be. They're the best.
-How do you know?
-Guess it's not Rossmore Park. Thanks for the help.
-Careful. That's bad luck.
-That place is already bad luck.
-Why?
-No. It goes way back. Or so my Momma says.
-What else does she say?
-Nothing. You'd think she was crazy. And she is a lot of things, not all of them nice, but crazy Momma's not.
-Way I figure, everything our parents tell us is part true and part total B.S. And our whole job is figuring out for ourselves which is which.
-My momma says every house is two houses. Every street, two streets. There's a whole city, a whole world, kinda beside, on top, just below this one. The city of the dead.
-Like right now, there's actually like hordes of dead people shambling around us? Fingers rotting off?
-Maybe. But there's an invisible wall, a fabric that kinda keeps things separate.
-Lucky thing.
-Yeah. But when something bad happens, something really bad -- the wall breaks. The fabric tears.
-The dead get out?
-Or the living fall in. Who knows.
-And you believe her?
-Cinn?
-She doesn't want me here. With you. In this house.
-Believe me, my old man'd rupture his spleen if he knew we was down here. All he talks about is the medal he deserves for building us a life as far from this 'hood as possible.
-He probably thinks he's saving you from something. I'm sure that's what my mother thinks.
-I can't. Not yet.
-It's alright. If you want to go home...
-No, I want to stay with you guys. But I can't. I mean I'm not ready.
-Why couldn't you just tell him to let us in?
-I'm here.
-Bill! Bill?!
-Patrick, he's...
-Here, find my hand. The stairs are right near here. I saw them. Let's just walk up there.
-I can't find you.
-We gotta jump!
-We're here. Where the hell are you?
-You got the cash?
-You got the shit?
-Let me see it.
-Let me see it.
-Where is it?
-Don't worry. It's just round the corner. Halfway down that block, you can't miss it. Top step of the front stairs, there's a loose stone. Go on, I ain't shitting you.
-But maybe we're the ones who should be down there. Doing something. Making it better.
-Where are we going? You know I hate surprises.
-What are we doing down here?
-Listen to me, boy. I didn't work all my life to get out of this neighborhood for you to move right back in!
-I thought you'd be psyched. Just trying to do what you did. Take nothing and make something out of it.
-No one'll ever come here. Shut it down. Don't worry, the bank'll buy it back. I'll take care of it.
-You'll take care of it? Not this time. No way. I bought it fair and square. And we open tonight.
-Did you do it?
-Sure, son. I went down there and torched the place myself.
-You could have had it done. You didn't want us there.
-I wouldn't have risked killing you to get you out. I was trying to protect you.
-Why? Why did you give a shit about the building? Why did you care that we were there of all places?
-It's...it's a bad neighborhood. As you can see now.
-Bullshit, Dad. Don't front me. For once. Just tell me the truth. I came from there, too.
-You were just a kid.
-I saw your face. You knew that place. You knew those people.
-That's the past. It's dead.
-Please...help me...
-Help me. I'm so sorry. But please, help me...
-What the hell do you want?
-Just a visit with my old pal, Jay-bird.
-You certainly traded up. ...the trophy wife. Nice lookin'.
-Keep your hands to yourself, willya?
-I been watching you. You done good. Invested wisely. Respectable businessman now. Just like you always wanted.
-And you? Still a pig. Just a much fatter one.
-No reason to get nasty. Yeah, I've stayed in the organization. But then again I never got the percentage you did.
-Or you didn't know what to do with it.
-Maybe so. Maybe so. But that ain't why I came to see you. You sold the building.
-What building?
-Don't shit a shitter. Our building. What did you call it? His 'tomb'? We had an agreement. You were supposed to sit on it. Not sell it --
-I didn't sell it.
-You're right. One of my associates sold the building last month.
-That's a Bozo no-no. Jay-bird.
-Look, even if anyone found anything there, it's twenty years ago. They could never connect it to us.
-Nice rack. How old is --
-No way man...
-Not your style. Is it Eddie? Killing off your customers?
-I ain't killed nobody. Shall I rack 'em? Play a game, Lupe?
-Fair enough for the shit. But I think a little bonus is due for knocking out the competition.
-You was just doing your job.
-What it is? What it will be, muthafucka.
-I know it. The old slaughterhouse. Hey, Sal. That little weasel we popped today? He's got something for us. I knew he would once he thought about it.
-Shit, that was fast.
-12-year olds. They scare easy. Anyway, he's gonna tip their stash. Come with me.
-I'm on my way home. Can you handle it yourself?
-Oh, no. Please don't make me go by myself. I'm scaaaaaaaaaared.
-Goddamnit! How many times I told you --
-We got a gift for you, Eddie. Fresh new BMW.
-That you stole off those white boys was down here last night? Are you crazy? Everybody from hell to breakfast heard that screamin' on Blackstone last night!
-But --
-We just thought...
-We didn't do nothing, Eddie.
-You gon tell me you didn't ginsu those punks and steal their ride?
-That's all we did, steal their ride.
-You boys been hitting the pipe?
-No, Eddie. It's just that, I dunno. He was tall, and thin, and like a shadow, his face was just a blur. All I remember is the voice. It was smooth and low and it didn't seem to be comin' out of his mouth.
-Then how'd you hear it, fool?
-It was just like in my head.
-I just accelerated my top secret long term plan for our world domination.
-Sqweeep. We innerup this programme to bring you this special news bulletin -- "Aliens from Reticula 3 have hijacked Patrick Peet and injected moly headcheese into his skull filling his entire brain cavity with cosmic slop..."
-And damp, too. Let's not forget damp.
-Jimmy Bones?
-Yeah, you heard of him?
-You haven't?
-Not that I remember.
-He was a local legend back in the '70's. There was a song, Stagolee kinda deal: "This is the ballad of Jimmy Bones/Black as night and hard as stone..."
-You gotta use your imagination.
-"This is Patrick..." "...And this is Patrick on crack." Imagination, my butt. Even the space cowboy can't...
-Why don't y'all check out the rest? I'm going downstairs and see if I can get the furnace fired up. Warm this place up, you'll see. It has serious potential.
-Yeah right, and which ever of us is still alive at the end of the week inherits all Vincent Price's cash.
-I thought you were bringing the Colonel?
-The Gangster of Love don't eat no fried chicken.
-Why not? He eats everything else.
-Maurice, even if it was true, what are you worried about? Last time I checked, you weren't black. I'm not sure what the hell you are. But I know you aren't a black man.
-I am the future. I am all colors. All races. All creeds. I am the melting pot. I am the tossed salad. I am post racial.
-"Like a heartbeat/Like a love beat." Listen to the Di Franco twins there. Just the plumbing or something, fool.
-And some people need their medication tweaked.
-Need any help with those bags, Ma'am?
-Not really to live, just to play.
-That building?
-Gonna be le hot shit. Pardon my Francais. Dance club. The Resurrection Brothers play there. Heard of them?
-You look mighty familiar to me. You sure you're not from around here?
-I was born near here. But after my mother died, my dad moved. I grew up out in Rossmore Park.
-You sure we oughta save him? Why not just let see how safe his gates and walls keep him when his past comes calling?
-... see there ain't just two parts to a person. There's three. Body-Soul and Spirit. The spirit lives in the blood. It's the wanting that holds body and soul together, and sometimes, the wanting lives on. Jimmy's blood must still be in the house.
-But the place burned to the ground.
-It's not safe down there. The fire started down there. The whole thing could collapse.
-Well, the bad news is we only made 25 bucks each.
-How could that be? The box was packed!
-Illibent? Who's club is that?
-There wasn't any draft. That window was closed.
-Boy, put that thing down. You can't take that. Might be evidence.
-Evidence of what?
-Shit! Damn dog. We gonna have to do something about you.
-Whoa, whoa. Come on, he's making too much noise.
-You hear that, bitch? Be quiet!
-You shouldn't have hit me.
-You want to get into this now?
-Glenlivet, right, Gino?
-So Caesar, what did it total out at?
-Come on, Pop, all I want to know is one thing. Just one thing after he made such a big deal out of it. I bet it wasn't a big deal. Was it, Caesar?
-What's that, Johnnie?
-Where is this going, Johnnie?
-Just admit it, Caesar.
-Admit what?
-That's right, I know. I fucking know.
-Know what?
-Open the case!
-All right! Where's the key?
-How the fuck can I open it?
-The same way you did before.
-You don't think I'll do it, do you?
-I think you're fucking crazy!
-Where is it?
-Where's what?
-The money!
-The next one blows off your dick.
-You're a dead man! A fucking dead man!
-We know how this was done, eh?
-Caesar? What is this?
-Caesar!
-No, Gino!
-Sit down, Gino!
-No, Caesar, gimme the gun.
-We're family, Caesar.
-No!
-Gimme the gun.
-I can't. I can't.
-We make our own choices, we pay our own prices.
-All part of the business.
-I didn't expect --
-Oh, shit ...
-Caesar, this is Corky. Corky, Caesar.
-She's doing the work herself.
-So, you just got out?
-Jesus, Caesar!
-Not bad. What for?
-That's none of your goddamn business, Caesar.
-Caesar, I'm leaving.
-Caesar, I'm serious. This is too much. I have to get out of here.
-Caesar, what happened?
-Just look at this mess I got to deal with.
-What are you going to do with it?
-Where the hell's the laundry detergent?
-Fuck! Fuck! How did you ... Awwww goddammit!
-Don't worry, I'll get some more.
-There's no time.
-They were early.
-What are you talking about?
-They just left, didn't they?
-You mean they weren't up here?
-No! They're still on their way.
-That doesn't make any sense.
-Why?
-What?
-I was getting out of the car when I saw him in the Mercedes.
-It couldn't have been.
-It was him. I'm positive.
-It's impossible!
-Why? Why would Johnnie do this?
-I hate that little fuck! I hate him! I hate him! I should've done him!
-But you know he did it.
-So what?! So fucking what? Use your head, Violet. The money is gone. Gino is coming here to get it. You think he's going to believe me if I tell him his piss-hole son stole it! Is that what you think? I don't. You know what I think? I think I'm a dead man. I'm one in the brain. That's what I think!
-Got to think this through ...
-Caesar, maybe we should run --
-Violet, please!
-I mean it, Caesar, forget Johnnie, forget the money, let's just go now, before it's too late --
-Goddammit, Violet! Would you just leave me the fuck alone! Please! Leave! Now!
-I got it! I know what I got to do! I got to get the money.
-The money? The money's gone.
-No. Johnnie's got it. All I got to do is get it back.
-But it could be anywhere.
-He didn't see you, did he?
-No.
-See, right now he doesn't know that I know, that's why he put the paper in the case. He wants me to hand the case to Gino. Then there is no doubt it was me. Gino will put a bullet in me himself. But it ain't going to happen. I won't let it! Johnnie ain't going to fuck me! Not like this! No way!
-You can't leave.
-The hell I can't!
-I need you ...
-Bullshit! You don't need me! You've never needed me! I can't help you! Understand?! I have to get out.
-If you're not with me, Violet, then I have to assume you're against me.
-Caesar, this is crazy.
-It would have been so easy to let him in as you went out.
-You don't, you can't believe that ...
-All right, Johnnie, you want to play it this way, I can play it this way. You want to know who made a mistake, why don't you open the case.
-Caesar ...
-Tell them! Tell them!
-... maybe three hours.
-Caesar, what are you going to do?
-What do you think we're going to do? We have to find the money.
-What?
-Once we have the money, then none of this ever happened.
-Caesar, you just killed Gino Marzzone.
-No I didn't. Not if his body disappears and not if the money is still here. Then they never showed up.
-What happened to them?
-Fuck.
-Caesar, what are we going to do?
-Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
-It's not here, Caesar.
-Where, then?
-What are you doing?
-We're going to need some time.
-I can use Johnnie's car, dump it in Lake Michigan ... I need plastic bags ... tape and rope ...
-Where is the money?
-Don't tell him --
-Shut up, Violet!
-Violet!
-Stupid cunt!
-Caesar, stop acting like an asshole and think --
-Don't try to tell me what to do.
-You need the money just like we do.
-Shut up, Violet.
-What did she do to you?
-I saved you.
-Saved me? You don't even know me. You used me, Caesar, just like I used you. All part of the business.
-You betrayed me!
-You murdered Gino!
-I had to. You made me.
-Bullshit, you killed him. Not me. You did it because you couldn't stand the thought of Johnnie fucking you.
-What?
-Holy shit, I don't believe it! We've been going crazy over here, Gino!
-We were in a car accident --
-They were in a car accident.
-But everybody is all right.
-They're all fine. Just bruises and shit.
-We make a deal or I come out and hand this phone to Mickey.
-I want what's mine, half the money. We get rid of Mickey, no one else dies. No one. Say yes, I understand.
-Yes, I understand.
-Tell them I'm at St. Mary's off the Kennedy, in the waiting room, but stay on the phone until I come out.
-Now that's teamwork.
-I should have let him kill you.
-You know he would have done you, too.
-Caesar, don't.
-What are you going to do, V? Shoot me? Kill me in cold blood? I don't think so. I'll tell you why. If you had it in you to pull that trigger, you would have done it a long time ago. If I was you, I would have killed me the minute I brought the money home. But you didn't and I know why,
-How's it going tonight, fellas?
-Fuck, this happened before. It's this shitty ear. Born with it. The batteries wore out in my aid. I'm sorry.
-Not on duty, sorry.
-I'm going to make myself a drink, if that's okay?
-Try to keep the extra batteries for your aid around.
-You planned this whole thing, didn't you?
-You're helping Rajeev?
-How many'd you do?
-Good. I hate to worry. I got ulcers.
-I should be going.
-What? How about a drink?
-My brushes, I have to clean my brushes. Thanks, though.
-Another time.
-Now, where the fuck is my money?
-Lick me.
-Where is it?
-I'm going to ask you where the money is. Every time you don't give me an answer, I'm going to cut off one finger.
-No.
-You can't kill me yet.
-Why?
-Now why don't you go watch some TV or something?
-Are you okay, Violet?
-Caesar, didn't I tell you to get something?
-Yeah?
-Mick, I know it's late, but there is a problem. They haven't shown up yet.
-What? They ain't there?
-No. I don't know where they are. I even called over at Johnnie's, but no answer.
-Okay. Let me call around. I'll see what I can do. Don't go anywhere, okay?
-Okay, sure, Mick.
-Yeah, Mick. I've got the money. I'm staring right at it.
-No, Cease. There was no answer.
-I thought I heard someone knocking.
-I was buzzing, I was knocking, but I guess you couldn't hear me on account of being in the shower.
-Yeah, it was Violet's idea. I was so wound up about Gino, she was trying to help me relax.
-That Violet is one nice lady. Wish someone would help me relax.
-We was worried about you, Cease.
-Me? Why?
-I started thinking maybe it's about the money so I call you, but all I get is the busy signal. I figure the phone is off the hook, that's why I come rushing over here.
-Oh Christ, the phone ... That was a fucking stupid thing to do, wasn't it?
-Cease, can I ask you something?
-Yeah.
-Actually, yeah, she was nervous about Gino coming, wanted everything to look right. You know women, Mick.
-Is that the money?
-Hey, Caesar, where's the key?
-The key, yeah, the key's in my pants in the bathroom.
-It's Gino! It's Gino!
-Un-fucking-believable. I called those highway patrol dumb fucks.
-You got the key?
-Call me as soon as you get him.
-Hello?
-We had a report of gunfire, so if you could --
-No joke, ma'am. Please open the door.
-Ma'am, you have to open the door.
-See? We're for real.
-I'm sorry, it's just you hear stories.
-This is a beautiful place.
-Hi. My name is Violet. We sort of met in the elevator --
-Yeah, sure. I'm Corky.
-Who?
-Rajeev, the man who usually works on the building.
-So this is temporary for you?
-I guessed you were straight black.
-Mmmm ... thanks, I needed this.
-My pleasure ... but to be honest, I did have a slightly ulterior motive here. I was wondering if I could ask a small favor?
-A favor?
-Yeah, see, I'm kind of a night person, so I was wondering if it wasn't a terrible inconvenience if you could wait a bit before using power tools.
-Oh, I'm sorry --
-No, it isn't your fault. The walls here are just so thin.
-Are they really?
-Yes, it really causes problems. Sometimes it's like you're in the same room. But if it's too much trouble, I understand ...
-No, no trouble. There's other work to do.
-You're doing everything yourself?
-Yeah.
-Truck.
-Truck. Of course.
-'63 Chevy.
-I knew it.
-So, how do you know the owner, Mr. Bianchinni?
-I don't, really. I was referred to him.
-Do you know him?
-No, but Caesar does. He likes him. Says he's a good Italian.
-Caesar is your husband?
-I should be going. You can drop the cup off anytime.
-Thanks.
-Oh no. Shit. I didn't know he would call you. God, you must think |I'm a total nuisance.
-Not exactly.
-I'm sorry, I usually would call Rajeev, but I didn't know what to do so I called Mr. Bianchinni.
-He said you lost something.
-I'm sorry, look, forget it. I shouldn't have called...
-Do you have a pot or a bucket?
-Thank you so much. You have to let me pay you something --
-Okay, one drink.
-What do you want?
-A beer?
-You seem uncomfortable. Do I make you nervous, Corky?
-Curious, maybe.
-Are you surprised that I know what it is?
-Maybe.
-Isn't it obvious? I'm trying to seduce you.
-Why?
-You dropped that earring down the drain on purpose, didn't you?
-If I say yes, will you take your hand away?
-No.
-I had to see you.
-Look, I don't think this is a good idea.
-I wanted to apologize.
-... I needed that.
-Caesar's Mafia, isn't he?
-You have to ask?
-No.
-Funny, nobody calls it that anymore. Caesar calls it "The |Business."
-How did you meet him?
-They took over a club I was working at. Caesar started managing it.
-He's a launderer?
-Basically.
-How long have you been with him?
-Almost five years.
-Five years is a long time.
-The redistribution of wealth.
-What?
-Isn't that what you wanted to know? What I did time for?
-The redistribution of wealth?
-That's what I tell someone when I'm trying to get them in my bed.
-I'm already in your bed.
-You didn't have to tell me if you didn't want to.
-I guess I wanted to.
-I'm glad you did.
-What's wrong?
-Yes there is. I felt it this morning when I brought you the coffee.
-Shit, here we go.
-You didn't want to see me, did you?
-If there is one thing I can't stand about sleeping with women, it's all the fucking mind reading.
-What are you afraid of?
-I'm not afraid of anything.
-I don't understand - ?
-I know! You can't understand, because we're different, Violet. We're different.
-We're not that different, Corky.
-How can you sit in that bed and say that?
-Because it's the truth.
-Let me guess. This is where you tell me that what matters is on the inside. That inside you, there is a little dyke just like me?
-Oh no, she's nothing like you. She's a lot smarter than you.
-Is that what her daddy tells her?
-I know what I am. I don't need to have it tattooed on my shoulder.
-What are you saying? That you don't have sex with men?
-I don't.
-For Christ's sake, Violet! I heard you! Thin walls, remember?
-What you heard wasn't sex.
-What the fuck was it?
-All my life, everyone has been telling me that when I have sex, I'm not really having sex. Not real sex. But they're wrong. I know what is and isn't sex and what you heard was definitely not sex.
-What was it then?
-We make our own choices and we pay our own prices. I think we're more alike than you want to admit.
-What about that guy this morning?
-You mean Shelly?
-Don't tell me, you're a workaholic.
-No. Shelly knows what I am. He saw me in a bar with another woman.
-Fuck it! I think you better leave.
-Shelly was skimming from the business. He came to see me yesterday because he was afraid Caesar figured it out. He wanted to run but he wanted me to come with him.
-Even though he knew about you?
-Yes.
-He was in love with you, right?
-For Shelly, taking the money was a way to take from Caesar. He could have run at any time, but he didn't because he didn't want out.
-Sounds like he wanted to get caught.
-Caesar lives for these moments. He tells me it's just the business, but I know it's more than that. He likes it. The violence. I'll catch him in the bathroom mirror touching his scars. He says they remind him who he his. They're all like that. Except maybe Mickey.
-Mickey?
-I want out. I want a new life. I see what I've been waiting for, but I need you, Corky.
-For what?
-You made a choice once. Do you think you would make that same choice again?
-What choice?
-Caesar is going to get the money and bring --
-How much money?
-Caesar will bring it to the apartment to count and go through |Shelly's books to figure out how he did it.
-These people are serious, Violet. If you want to know how serious, ask Shelly. They're worse than any cop because they have lots of money and no rules. You fuck them, you've got to do it right.
-That's why I need your help. You said you were good.
-All right, let's say for the moment that I believe everything you are saying.
-You think I'm lying?
-All you would need to keep yourself clean would be someone unconnected, someone like me.
-Is that what you think?
-The difference is, I can have sex with someone I just met, someone I hardly know, but to steal I need to know someone like I know myself.
-Do you think you know me like that?
-You said he washed the money?
-Yeah.
-Then what? Exactly.
-He hung it up.
-What?
-And where is it now?
-It's in a case, on his desk.
-Yes.
-All right, now, tell me about Johnnie.
-Johnnie?
-It sounded like he and Caesar don't like each other.
-Like each other? They hate each other.
-Why?
-It started way before I was around. I think basically it's because he thinks Johnnie is a complete idiot. But Johnnie runs Chicago because Gino is his father.
-Gino Marzzone.
-Marzzone? As in Angelo Marzzone, head of the Marzzone family?
-That's his brother.
-Gino Marzzone is coming tonight to pick up the money?
-Yeah.
-And Johnnie is his son, that's Johnnie Marzzone?
-Yeah.
-Gino Marzzone is coming to your apartment. It's a big deal, isn't it? That means Caesar will be ready. He doesn't want to look like an idiot. Gino has been there before?
-Yeah, twice.
-What happened?
-Does Johnnie hit on you?
-Johnnie hits on anything in high heels.
-Has Caesar ever seen him?
-He does it right in front of him.
-It's getting better and better. Keep going.
-Gino doesn't know English, or at least he pretends he doesn't, so he doesn't talk much. He gets right to the point. Both times they talked for about five minutes, had one drink and then they left.
-What did Gino drink?
-What time did you say they would be there?
-The plane is in at seven, so I'd say about eight.
-Any bodyguards?
-Gino travels with a big man named Roy. Caesar calls him the driver.
-We want him to come down, to relax, feel in control again.
-Where will you be?
-And as you do, the bottle will slip from your hands. -- and shatter against the hardwood floor.
-An accident.
-What if he sees you?
-You can't know for certain that he won't see you.
-I'm just asking, what if?
-There is no going back.
-When I get the Scotch, how do I know you won't take off?
-I still don't see how I'm going to get clean with the money in the apartment. Everyone will think I did it.
-Not Caesar.
-Why?
-If it's real enough, he'll believe it, because deep down he'll want to.
-He'll have to run.
-If he runs, everyone will assume he took the money.
-Jesus, that's beautiful.
-Thank you.
-If you're this goddamn smart, how did you ever get caught?
-I had a partner and she fucked me.
-I won't.
-It's me.
-He totally freaked. I've never seen him like this. He's out of his fucking mind.
-That's okay, as long as he believes it was Johnnie.
-Believes it! Jesus, it's driving him crazy. He wants to kill him. I don't know, Corky, I don't know what he is going to do. I'm getting nervous, really nervous.
-It's all right, Violet. It's working. All we got to do is wait him out and see what he does.
-What if he doesn't run?
-That means he probably will kill Johnnie.
-Oh, Christ, I got to get out of here!
-Listen, if he doesn't run, all you have to do is break down, go to your bedroom and pack some things, start crying, saying you love him but you can't do it. You're sorry but you have to leave and just walk out.
-okay, all right.
-Oh, thank God.
-I'm still here.
-I was so afraid you ...
-I'm sorry, Corky ...
-Hey.
-Hey.
-How'd it go?
-You know what the difference is between us, Violet?
-No.
-Hey, Caesar! You take care of this girl, or I find out!
-No, Johnnie. No goddamned phones. Not now.
-Pop?
-Done. We go now.
-Unbelievable. Can you believe that, Violet?
-Johnnie, what did I say?
-You shouldn't have to see this. Why don't you get out of here? Go for a walk.
-Caesar wants me to stay.
-Oh, God.
-Mickey? What are you doing here?
-Violet, it's Gino and Johnnie. They were in a car accident.
-Oh my God. Was anyone hurt?
-Mickey! Oh God, Mickey!
-I will never understand it, Mickey. You didn't even call the police.
-I told you, the family doesn't want the police around. We want to take care of it ourselves and we will. I'll find him. I swear I will.
-I know you will.
-Sure you're going to be okay? I mean, if you're having second thoughts, my offer still stands.
-Storm clouds are gathering, Ted. It looks like rain and I don't have a thing to wear.
-I don't know what we're talking about.
-We're talking about Marseille. We're talking about Nykwana Wombosi. And I'm asking you if this abortion in Marseille has anything to do with Treadstone. Was this Treadstone?
-You're asking me a direct question?
-Yes.
-They're putting together an agency oversight committee. They're going to look through everyone's budgets. Treadstone is a rather sizable line item in my ledger. What am I going to do about that?
-You'd want to make that go away. You'd want to remind them that Treadstone is a training organization. That it's all theoretical. You'd want to sign off on that.
-And what if I couldn't do that?
-She's a gypsy. If it's a cover, it's a great one.
-I'm assuming we're exploring that possibility.
-We're exploring <u>every</u> possibility. We are in pursuit. How much more do you want me to tell you?
-Pursuit would indicate that you know exactly where he is.
-No. Pursuit <u>ends</u> when we know exactly where he is.
-We've been down here for two weeks banging our heads against the wall. We've been <u>sleeping</u> down here. We just got our first lead fourteen hours ago, and now? -- now that we <u>finally</u> have something to work with -- you want to bring planning personnel down here? I'd rethink that.
-I want a second opinion.
-<u>This is an operations desk</u>.
-That was two hours -- two hours to get a second opinion -- and nothing changes. He's loose. He's out of control. It's very clear what needs to happen. I have work to do.
-What if he <u>is</u> working for someone else? What if he turned?
-No. We can't risk it.
-Our last sighting was forty-eight hours ago. Even if they stayed in the car, the grid is huge. This is it. He's trained -- conditioned -- they're built to disappear. You give him another day to run and we may never find him.
--- he went inside! --
--- if we can get a clean shot --
--- <u>inside</u> the house? --
--- that's what they're trained for -- just a surgical strike.
-Forget it.
-What do you want to do?
-We don't know what we're into!
-I'm going to Paris.
-<u>No you're not</u>. You're not going anywhere. I'm shutting this down.
-You're not doing shit. You're so scared you can't even think.
-You just blew up a house in Paris! This program is over. Call it off.
-I won't ask again.
-I work alone. Like you... ...we always work alone.
-What do you mean?
-Who are you? Rome? Paris? Treadstone...both of us...I was warned but...
-Treadstone?
-Paris. I live in Paris...
-...headaches...you have that...I get such bad headaches...
-Yes.
-Treadstone.
-...or in a car...when it's dark...something with the headlights... ...pills, right? Treadstone had those pills...
-What is Treadstone?
-...what did you do?...you must've really fucked up...
-I think so.
-...someone said caffeine -- for a headache...doesn't seem...
-What do they want me to do?
-...they won't let you go...
-Are you Treadstone?
-<u>What did you do to me</u>?
-What did I do? I spent thirty million dollars on you. I spent three years finding you -- four years training you -- What did I do? What in the name of God have you been doing, Jason?
-I don't know.
-They're right about you, aren't they? You're fried. You really don't know what's going on, do you?
-I know you've been trying to kill me.
-Of course. We had to try. We didn't know what was wrong. We didn't know you were in trouble.
-So now you know.
-So it's time to go home.
-That's all I get?
-We'll make you better. We can put the pieces back. We can do that.
-I don't think so.
-We have to go home, Jason.
-Jason Bourne is dead.
-<u>There never was a Jason Bourne</u>. You have to come with me. It's the only way. We can give it back to you...
-Keep it.
-Jason... They can't let you go...
-Did you bring investment advice for me tonight? It was tax shelters, wasn't it? Swiss debenture-swaps.
-MPG Capital.
-I think investment advice from a dead man, it's a bad idea. How does it feel to be dead?
-Who do you think sent me?
-<u>Was this a game or a fuck up</u>?
-I don't know.
-You're a U.S. Citizen?
-Yes. I mean, I think so. Yes. Yes...
-Well, either you are, or you aren't.
-Right.
-You have your passport?
-I have a passport. I've got... Actually, it's a little complicated.
-<u>Do you have your passport, sir</u>?
-Look, maybe I should just...
-Sir, you waited on line.
-...yes -- oui -- uh...
-
-Paris?
-Yes, sir... How can I help you?
-Yes, I'm...I'm looking for Mr. Jason Bourne.
-One moment, please... I'm afraid, I have no one by that name registered, sir.
-D'accord... Merci. Un moment -- un moment --
--- sir? --
-Kane. Do you have Mr. John Michael Kane?
-Bonjour? Monsieur? Allo...
-Yes, I'm here...
-You call about Monsieur Kane? John Michael Kane?
-Yes. Is he there?
-You are a friend of his?
-Yes.
-There was an accident. On the motorway. Apparently, he was killed instantly. Really, I'm terrible sorry to be the one to tell you this...
-...I understand...
-...we actually, we were unaware for several days that this had happened. When they came for his things, it was made known for us, you see?
-Who? Who came?
-His brother. You know his brother?
-Right. Yes. Of course.
-It's very bad this. Terrible sad. Such a young man.
-Do you -- his brother -- do you have a phone number?
-Mr. Kane... Come right in...please...have a seat.
-Well... I must admit, when my assistant told me you were here I was, really -- I was quite -- I was surprised.
-Really.
-We thought you were gone for good.
-Did you?
-Look, our bid -- it was competitive -- but definitely at the high end of competitive -- when we didn't hear back from you, we did some re-analysis of the numbers, and honestly, we'd really like a chance to do a bit better. I'm assuming you're still in the market. It's the same vessel?
-Yes.
-We just picked up a job quite like the one we were bidding for you. Gorgeous boat, hundred-and-seventy- five-foot pleasure cruiser. I think we learned a few things that might allow us to make our proposal for your job, as I said, a bit more competitive.
-Was it the break-in?
-Excuse me?
-We also thought we hadn't heard from you -- we've had a bit of a publicity nightmare, people have been talking. Our offices were broken into -- vandalism mostly -- shortly after we last spoke.
-Let me get you a new copy of the proposal.
-I need a ride.
-
-I need a ride out of here.
-Oh, Jesus...
-Please. I don't want to scare you.
-It's a little late for that.
-I've got a situation here and --
-Get the fuck away from my car.
-I'll give you ten thousand dollars to drive me to Paris.
-Great. You know what? I'll give you ten gazillion dollars to get the fuck away from me before I start screaming my head off.
-Jesus...
-So what's in Paris?
-I want to go home.
-I said ten thousand.
-You have blood on your pants.
-Okay. Twenty thousand. Ten now. Ten there.
-<u>No</u>. No, that was too easy --
-Wait up -- -- just wait up --
-Look, I want a ride to Paris. That's all I want. I swear.
-You swear? That's great. I feel so much better now.
-You could buy a car for twenty grand. You could buy this car.
-I don't want to go alone. I want you to drive me to Paris. Like we're a couple. Like we're a couple and we're travelling together. That's all we're doing.
-And I don't get hurt. I get twenty thousand dollars and I don't get hurt.
-I won't hurt you.
-What if I say no?
-Just so you know, if you're gonna burn me on the money, you might as well kill me. I was supposed to have this car back three days ago. It's not my car.
-Shit -- Can I tell you how much you're freaking me out? Okay? Because you are -- you're completely freaking me out.
-I'm sorry. Really. What do you want me to do?
-I don't know. Smile. Sneeze. Something. You've got a bag full of money and a ride to Paris. Fuck it, I don't know... What kind of music do you like?
-I don't know.
-What does that mean?
-Listen to what you want.
-I don't know. I don't know who I am.
-Yeah, well, welcome to the club.
-No. No, I mean, I really don't know who I am. I can't remember anything earlier than two weeks ago. I'm serious.
-What? Like amnesia?
-Look, go ahead...put the radio on...
-Amnesia? You're saying you don't remember anything that happened before two weeks ago?
-That's what I'm saying.
-And you have no idea -- not a clue -- what came before that?
-No.
-When you think of it, before the ship -- before you wake up on the ship, what do you see?
-Nothing. It's just not there.
-Well, this is great. I'm sick of myself and you have no idea who you are.
-I kept trying things, I thought if I could find all the things I could do, I could --
--- you could put it together --
--- which was okay for a while, I was okay with it... But then -- there's all these other things -- all these other things I know how to do -- and this -- this stuff from the bank and... I think something bad happened.
-What are you talking about?
-I don't know.
-Sounds like you were in an accident or something.
-I was shot twice in the back.
-Okay, so you're a victim.
-There was a gun. Who has a safe deposit box with a gun and all this money and all these passports?
-Lots of people have guns. You're American. Americans love guns.
-I fought my way out of an embassy. I climbed down a fifty-foot wall -- I went out the window and I was doing it -- I just did it. I knew how to do it.
-People do amazing things when they're scared.
-Why do I? -- I come in here -- instinctively -- first thing I do -- I'm looking for the exit -- I'm catching the sightlines -- I know I can't sit with my back to the door --
-I needed a break.
-Where are we?
-We're about an hour away.
-I can't believe I slept.
-You were tired. Here... For twenty-thousand I like to throw in breakfast. So what do you dream about?
-You ever think maybe you have a family?
-Slow down. No, don't stop. Just...
-Four-fifty. That's the address...
-Looks familiar?
-Where?
-So this is it, right?
-I should go.
-I don't remember any of this.
-Okay, so...
-Thanks for the ride.
-Look, I don't know what's up there.
-You got me pretty fucking curious.
-Look, you could come up. Or you could wait if you want. I could go check it out. You could wait.
-Nah... With you, I mean, you'd probably just forget about me, right?
-This is like a real apartment. This is really yours?
-This is your office? God, you live like a monk...
-All this stuff -- it's all about boats. I think I'm in the shipping business.
-See. It's starting to come back, yeah? You mind if I take a bath?
--- no -- Marie -- <u>no</u>! -- it's not like that --
--- please -- Jason -- omigod --
--- what're you doing? -- Jason, please, tell me what's happening!
-WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?
-What? -- what? -- -- what is it?
-...this is my picture... he's got my picture -- -- this is me -- this is Zurich -- this...this...this is yesterday --
--- just --
--- where does this come from? -- How do you have my picture?
-Marie, just -- -- just stay there! -- just --
--- he's got my picture! -- this is yesterday! -- this is me! -- -- where did you get my picture? --
--- let me do this, okay? --
-He's dead isn't he?
-Marie -- look at me -- there's no time for this --
-He went out the window -- why? -- why would someone do that?
--- we can't stay here -- I can't stay here -- it's not safe here --
-He came to kill us.
--- we can go -- I can get us out of here -- but we have to go now --
-You knew he was coming.
-No.
-I trusted you.
-You're wrong. I didn't know.
-I don't trust anybody and I trusted you!
-I didn't know this would happen.
-He had my picture! He knew I was here! He came here to kill us!
-And where is he now? You believe what you want, but I'm telling you the truth -- I never would have brought you here if I thought it was dangerous.
-Oh, Jesus...
-You stay -- if you want, you stay -- it's okay -- it's better -- maybe it's better -- I don't know -- But I can't stay here. <u>I can't</u>.
-But the police --
--- there's no time --
--- we'll explain it --
--- how? --
--- there's two of us -- we'll tell them -- we'll just --
--- forget it --
--- we'll tell them what happened --
-You stayed there five times in the past six months. But I didn't have time -- I could only get the bill from the last stay -- you were there for two days. Some room service -- there's half a dozen phone calls here so that's someth--
-Who paid the bill?
-I found it. It took six calls. I found Kane. I found the body.
--- I don't know what you're doing and you're scaring me -- what are you looking for? -- what just happened in there? --
-Nykwana Wombosi.
-What is that?
-It's a name. Mr. Wombosi owns a thirty million dollar yacht. He's the proud owner of an Alliance Security package. He also paid a visit to the morgue to see John Michael Kane.
-What does that mean? Jason, what does that mean? Jason, please...who is he?
-I don't know.
-<u>So what are we doing</u>?
-It doesn't matter who you were before. It's who you want to be. That's all that matters. We have this money. We have what we have. I had nothing before and now, I don't know, maybe I have more, maybe it's nothing, but... I say we leave here. We leave this place. We go until we can't go anymore.
-You could do that?
-xxxxxx.
-Stop where you are.
-xxxxxx
-xxxxxx
-xxxxxx
-Who is it?
-xxxxxx
-xxxxxx
-xxxxxx
-xxxxxx
-xxxxxx
-xxxxxx
-And that's it?
-What was I thinking, right?
-I can't protect you anymore.
-What about you?
-Can I help you?
-This your store?
-Yes.
-Think I could rent a scooter?
-You have ID?
-Where did this body go?
-I said, someone came last night -- Look, this isn't a carnival -- people call and they make an appointment and they follow the rules -- everyone signs in and out -- this is a serious place -- serious work -- it's not just to come in whenever you like --
-Shit, we didn't sign in.
-So get the hell out of here.
-Is this it? -- -- this is it, right? --
--- slow down -- you can't just take the book like that --
--- we have rules here, this is a very serious place -- I'm the one who decides who gets in here, okay? --
--- what do I? -- I put the name of the person I came to see? --
--- this is serious business down here and we cannot have people coming and going --
-Where's the dog?
-My husband's out looking for him.
-He run away often?
-Get in the basement.
-What?
-What the hell're you talking about?
-You're in danger. All of you. I have no time to explain.
-Wait a minute --
-Miss Kreutz, please... I'm gonna have to ask you to keep your voice down.
-All the papers -- all the papers they asked for -- I brought all the papers --
-<u>Miss Kreutz</u>, excuse me, but you entered into a fraudulent marriage in an effort to circumvent the immigration laws of the United States --
-You only know that because I told you! Ask the case officer -- find his name -- it's on the papers -- I told him all this myself! --
--- it's not the source of the information that's important here --
--- I paid this fucking guy -- I paid him four thousand dollars -- my last four thousand dollars to marry me, okay? -- I told this to the case officer last week... ...<u>here</u> -- Mr. Thomas. I told Mr. Thomas I didn't know this guy was already married -- I admitted this!
--- Miss Kreutz, please --
--- I'm the one that got ripped off! -- not you -- not the United States government -- me -- I'm the one being ripped off!
-xxxxxx...
-And that's the best angle of the courtyard?
-That's the only angle.
-What do they have on the streets? The area. They must have something.
-Sir...
-What's that?
-It's an angle of the street -- some sort of alleyway -- you can just...
--- let's check that Interpol window again --
--- I'm on it --
-What?
-Abbott wants to talk.
-Tell him we're busy.
--- and they're sure it's him? --
--- he accessed the account --
--- but it was <u>him</u> --
-What?
-What the fuck is he doing?
-Maybe it's a game. Maybe he's trying to send us a message.
-It doesn't matter now. We've just got to be the first ones there. Get everybody up. I want them all activated.
-What?
-Abbott. He knows about the embassy. He's coming down for a show and tell.
--- what're you talking about? --
--- we're evacuating the building --
--- we're in the middle of a trade meeting! --
--- call the code! -- I want everyone out! --
--- you gotta give me more to go on --
-You're awake. Can you hear me? You've been shot. I'm trying to help you. You were in the water. You've been shot. It's okay now.
-Where am I?
-You're American. I thought so. From your teeth -- the dental work --
-<u>Where am I</u>?
-You're on a boat. A fishing boat. Italian flag. We're out of Vietri. It's the cold that saved you. The water. The wounds are clean. I'm not a doctor, but the wounds, it looks okay. It's clean.
-How did I get here?
-What if it doesn't come back?
-It came from your hip. Under the skin. You have a bank in Zurich. You remember Zurich?
-Look, I'm just on this boat, okay? I'm an engineer. Whatever this is, it's not for me to be involved, okay?
-You drink rum?
-It's not much, but it should get you to Switzerland.
-...ervices.
-...Be back.
-...ergency procedures.
-...your ducts?
-... And then some.
-You telephone, sir.
-...elephoned sir.
-Trouble with your air-conditioning.
-...ixed itself.
-Machines don't fix themselves.
-... fix themselves.
-He's tampered with it, Dowser.
-I think we'd better have a look.
-What have you got there?
-Mumble ... mumble ... mumble ... Tuttle
-Mumble ... Tuttle ...
-Tuttle! ... mumble! You've had that scab Tuttle here, haven't you?
-Oh yeh? Where'd you get this from eh out yer nostril?
-...Yer nostril?
-Central Services don't take kindly to sabotage!
-...ven't you?
-You're putting your talents to very odd use Mr Lowry - yes, odd use - to pit wits against Central Services -
-Sign here, please.
-This is what you get when you have cowboys round yer ducts.
-... yer ducts.
-I think you've got your T41 crystal inductor wired up to a reverse bobbin- threaded-solenoid-control. It's either that or a new washer.
-... new washer.
-Sign the form so we can get to it.
-Ah ha ... there you are, Sam.
-What? How do you know my name?
-We know everything here. This is the Storeroom of Knowledge.
-Then perhaps you can help me. I've lost someone who ...
-Oh, yes. We've got everything here. Every bit of knowledge, wisdom, learning ... every experience, every thought neatly filed away.
-What? You mean you've got ...
-Well not exactly. But, if you help us we'll help you. The Forces Of Darkness have won the day ... but, tomorrow is another one
-What do I have to do.
-Er ... Thanks ...
-It's reply paid.
-Oh ... Thank you very much, mother, but actually -
-You don't have to sing it.
-Aren't you a bit late? - the party started half an hour ago.
-Yes, I know. It's the backlog, everybody complains. Was it all right otherwise?
-Yes, it was ... very nice ... thank you.
-Go away.
-Her name is Jill.
-What? ...Jill? Jill who? Jill who?
-Layton.
-Jill Layton ... You're a very good little girl. What are you doing here?
-I'm waiting for my daddy.
-Deputy minister, what do you believe is behind this recent increase in terrorist bombings?
-Bad sportsmanship. A ruthless minority of people seems to have forgotten certain good old fashioned virtues. They just can't stand seeing the other fellow win. If these people would just play the game, instead of standing on the touch line heckling -
-In fact, killing people -
-Mr. HELPMANN, what would you say to those critics who maintain that the Ministry Of Information has become too large and unwieldy ...?
-And the cost of it all, Deputy Minister? Seven percent of the gross national produce ...
-Do you think that the government is winning the battle against terrorists?
-But the bombing campaign is now in its thirteenth year ...
-Thank you very much, Deputy Minister.
-Thanks very much Sam.
-If I can help you ...
-Sorry ...
-I know he would have wanted me to help you ... And I promised your mother I'd take you onto the team at information Retrieval. But I gather that ...
-Mr Helpmann. I've changed my mind. I'd like to accept the transfer - am I too late?
-Too late? That's for me to say.
-Sam, what are we going to do with you? Can you hear me, Sam?
-Where's Jill? What have you done to her? Where is she?!
-Gillian Layton?
-Yes, you've got to get me out of here. I've got to find her.
-Help me!
-I assure you, Sam, I'm doing everything within my power. But the rules of the game are laid down, and we all have to play by them - even me.
-This is all a mistake! Don't you understand?!
-Yes, well, from the Department's point of view you're certainly a bit of an own goal, but ...
-I'm not a terrorist! You must know that! I'm not guilty! Get me out of here!
-Sam, if you've been going out there and playing a straight bat, all the way down the line, you've got absolutely nothing to worry about.
-Please, I've got to find Jill.
-Yes, it's all a bit confusing but, it seems she was killed resisting arrest.
-Sam!
-Jack!
-Long time no see!
-Well, since you disappeared up the ladder of Information Retrieval ... I don't expect to see you slumming in Records - what's the problem?
-Problem? - No problem - yes, everything's going fantastically well, wonderful, marvelous, great career prospects, Alison in great shape, kids fine, beautiful home, I'm on Security Level Five now, and Mr Helpmann relies on me more and more, yes, couldn't be better, I feel terrifically motivated and job- rewarded -
-You sound worried.
-What's the matter?
-Sorry. Nothing. See you - I'm going to be late.
-You are late.
-Even later.
-Sam, your life is going wrong - let your friends tell you - Records is a dead end department, no Security Level worth a damn, it's impossible to get noticed -
-Yes, I know, fantastic, marvellous, wonderful - remember me to Alison - and the - er - twins.
-Triplets.
-Hello, Jack!
-{winking at Sam) She doesn't like me telling anyone but she's pleased as anything really.
-Er, I knew you looked different.
-Remember how they used to stick out?
-Dr. Jaffe has pinned her ears back.
-Quite, absolutely - I always thought they were false.
-Jack!!
-SAM! What a surprise!
-Sorry about that ... Mr Helpmann told me you were coming aboard - congratulations!
-Thanks. Are you officer 412/L?
-For my sins. Are you settling in alright?
-Yes, thanks.
-Terrific. I'm really glad you dropped by. Unfortunately, I don't have any time right now I've got a queue of customers to deal with - er, why don't we have a drink tonight?
-Ah ...
-What?
-I don't want to take up your time now, but I was hoping you could give me some information on somebody. It's a security level three matter and Information Retrieval records says to refer to you.
-OK. Come back this afternoon, about four o'clock. If you give me the number of the case, I'll have the dossier here waiting. My tailor,... well worth the investment.
-I've got numbers all over these - I'm not sure which is the one you want.
-Layton! Oh shit!
-What is it?
-You clever bastard! I might have guessed. You only moved in today and you're already hot on the bloody trail.
-Am I?
-Please, Sam, we're going to have to be open to each other on this one. If you make a reputation with this case, it'll be at my expense.
-How do you mean?
-How much do you know?
-Not much.
-Enough though, eh?
-OK. OK. Let's not fence around ... This is the situation. Some idiot somewhere in the building, some insect, confused two of our clients, B58/732 and T47/215.
-B58/732, that's A. Buttle isn't it?
-Christ! You do know it all!
-No, no, I don't. I'm just beginning Honestly. Sorry, carry on.
-Well, your A. Buttle has been confused with T47/215, an A. Tuttle. I mean, it's a joke! Somebody should be shot for that. So B58/732 was pulled in by mistake.
-You got the wrong man.
-I did not get the wrong man. I got the right man. The wrong man was delivered to me as the right man! I accepted him, on trust, as the right man. Was I wrong? Anyway, to add to the confusion, he died on us. Which, had he been the right man, he wouldn't have done.
-You killed him?
-Sam, there are very rigid parameters laid down to avoid that event but Buttle's heart condition did not appear on Tuttle's file. Don't think I'm dismissing this business, Sam. I've lost a week's sleep over it already.
-I'm sure you have
-There are some real bastards in this department who don't mind breaking a few eggs to make an omelette, but thank God there are the new boys like me who want to maintain decent civilized standards of terrorist eradication. We've got the upper hand for the moment, but they're waiting for us to slip up, and a little slip- up like this is just
-So how ...?
-What I've got to do now is pick up Tuttle, interrogate him at the same voltage as Buttle, to the same meter reading to the last penny, and juggle the books in electrical banking.
-What has Tuttle done?
-We suspect him of freelance subversion.
-He's a freelance subversive?
-What's she done?
-You didn't know as much about this business as you pretended to, did you?
-Er ... no.
-Very smart.
-Er ... but I would've found out anyway.
-Yes. I'm impressed.
-Tell me about Layton.
-She witnessed the Tuttle arrest - the Buttle arrest - and since then she's been making wild allegations, obviously trying to exploit the situation - she's working for somebody, and she's not working for us.
-But surely, I mean, perhaps she just happened to live above the Buttles, and ...
-Look after that suit, eh. Barbara chose it for me.
-Right. Er, you're not going to keep calling her Barbara, are you?
-Barbara's a perfectly good name, isn't it?
-Look, about the Layton woman - maybe she's just trying to help the Buttle family.
-Why?
-Why? Hell, not for any reason ...
-{baffled) I don't follow you.
-Out of kindness.
-Kindness? What's the purpose behind this line of enquiry?
-So what are you going to do about her?
-Get her out of circulation - I've put her on the detention list.
-You mean you're going to invite her in so that she can spill the beans inside the department?
-Well, I ... Good point. What do you suggest?
-Let me try to get to her. I'll deactivate her.
-What does that mean? I don't want to be involved in anything unsavoury.
-Trust me. You do trust me, don't you?
-Of course. We went to school together. You're my oldest friend.
-And you're mine.
-You're the only person I can trust.
-Then we'd better keep this business just between the two of us.
-Right! Just between as and the Security Forces.
-They weren't at school with us.
-But, I've already put her on the search and detain list.
-Take her off the list.
-There's no procedure for that until she's been arrested.
-Say it was a mistake.
-We don't make mistakes.
-Well, I'd better get out there and try to get to her before security does. Let me borrow her dossier for a while.
-Thanks, Jack. I'll be in touch.
-Do you know what you're doing.
-Trust me.
-Come off it, Jack! Of course you can check to see if she's been arrested.
-I'm sorry, Sam, I'm afraid this whole case has become much more complicated since last we talked.
-She's innocent, Jack --- she's done nothing wrong.
-Tell that to the wives of the Security men she blew up this afternoon. Listen, we've also had a report just in from Central Services that Tuttle has wrecked an entire flat and sabotaged adjacent Central Services systems - as a matter of fact, in your block. I'd keep my eyes open if I were you, Sam. Bye.
-You don't really think Tuttle and the girl are in league?
-It could all be coincidental.
-Jack, she's innocent!
-Sam - we've always been close, haven't we?
-Yes we have, Jack!
-Jack?... Jack?
-Shut up!
-Jack, I'm innocent! Help me.
-Bastard!!!
-You stupid bastard!
-What?
-How could you do this to me?
-Help me, Jack! I'm frightened!
-How do you think I feel? You shit!
-Jack ...
-I want to report a wrongful arrest.
-You want Information Adjustments. Different department.
-I've been to Information Adjustments. They sent me here. They told me you had a form I had to fill in.
-Have you got an Arrest Receipt?
-Yes.
-Is it stamped?
-Stamped?
-No, there's no stamp on it. You see! I can't give you the form until it's stamped.
-Where do I get it stamped?
-But you've stamped this form before! Why won't you stamp it now?
-You're a stupid, fat arsed, obstructive, fascist moron aren't you?
-If you say so.
-You think these are tits don't you?
-Ah.
-I bet you'd like to touch them?
-Oh.
-Are you alright?
-It's you ... it's you ...
-Who are you? Let go!
-Don't look back! Act naturally!
-Ow! That hurt!
-What are you doing? For Christ's sake! Get moving!
-Bloody hell! Do as I say!
-No.
-Alright! Alright! Alright! I'm Information Retrieval Officer - DZ/015, and I'm arresting you for - your own good! Now start up and get moving before I hand you back to them!
-Them?
-Don't litter my cab!
-... This is amazing ... for me ... being here with you. I mean, in my dreams you ...
-I don't want to hear about your fucking dreams!
-Oh. But ... Look, I'm sorry I shouted at you.
-Why are they all pigs at Information Retrieval?
-You know, smoking's bad for you.
-It's my fucking life.
-Yes, of course. Sorry.
-I know you. I saw you through the floor, didn't I?
-Yes. Ceiling. Why did you run away?
-I didn't run away. I left the flat.
-Why?
-I didn't like it.
-Why not?
-It had a hole in the floor. Where are we going?
-Where are you taking me?
-What?
-Where are you taking me?
-Ah ... Er ... It looks as if you're taking me.
-It does doesn't it?
-What's going on here?
-OK. What's in the parcel?
-It's heavy.
-What are you doing in Information Retrieval?
-Looking for you.
-No, really.
-Really.
-I mean, it doesn't suit you.
-Suit me?
-Don't you know the sort of thing that Information Retrieval does?
-What do you mean? Would you rather have terrorists?
-We've got both.
-Things would be worse without Information Retrieval.
-Why don't you say, no system is perfect.
-Well, no system is.
-Say, all wars have innocent victims.
-Well, all wars do -
-Who is this war against, Sam?
-Well, terrorists of course.
-How many terrorists have you met? Actual terrorists?
-Look at that - right on time.
-What? I thought you were free to come and go as you please.
-Well, almost ... unfortunately I do have to punch in by 5.00 every day.
-Every day?
-Turn around!
-What?
-They'll be there waiting.
-Who will?
-Security.
-You're joking.
-No. Please. They're going to arrest you.
-I thought you arrested me.
-Yes ... but, this is real. Now, stop!
-Cut it out, Sam.
-Will you please turn back.
-Get away!
-Turn!
-I was right! Step on it!
-Let go! We've got to stop!
-Now you're the one that's out of your mind.
-Come on, let's go! Let's get out of here!
-Oh God! What have we done?
-We? Don't blame me!
-It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
-Shit! The house is on fire!
-"And your children all gone."
-What?
-"Lady bird, lady bird, fly away home, your house is on fire and your children all gone" ... Do you think anyone's hurt?
-This is a hell of a time to buy a nightie.
-Are you still following me?
-Please, Jill ... I love you.
-Go away.
-There are plenty of other safe places. Why don't we go back to my flat?
-Leave me alone!
-You've got to trust me. It sounds silly but I know we were meant to meet.
-You mean you were meant to hijack my truck, make me crash it, and have every security man in town looking for me?
-I vas just trying to help. I decided to trust you. Maybe I was wrong. Whose side are you on really? Who are your friends? Who was the man who gave you the parcel? What's in it? It's the only thing you saved from the lorry .... It must he something very special.
-I saved you from the lorry and you're not very special.
-........... It's a bomb isn't it?
-I'm going to open it!
-Jill! What are you do ... I mean ... how did you ... Are you alright?
-Yes.
-What happened to you after ...
-Your face ... are you hurt?
-They're gone.
-Are you sure?
-Don't you like parties?
-Make yourself at home. Don't answer the phone or open he door to anyone. I won't be long.
-Where are you going?
-I'm going to pull some strings. It's our only hope.
-Don't do anything silly.
-Thanks for the vote of confidence.
-What do you think? ... is it me?
-Perhaps the machine's on the blink! It keeps picking up old films. That can't he right, can it?
-It's not the machine. There's a mismatch on the personnel code numbers... Ah there we go! That's a B58/732 when it should be a T47/215 ... Tuttle ... he should have £31.06, debited against his account for electrical procedures, not Buttle.
-Oh my God, a mistake!
-It's not our mistake!
-Isn't it? Whose is it?
-Information Retrieval.
-Oh, good!
-What a relief! I don't know what I'd do if you ever got promoted.
-Don't worry.
-But if they did promote you
-I've told you before. I'd turn it down.
-Would you really, Sam?
-Really.
-It's your mother isn't it? Pulling strings again.
-A cheque.
-The refund for Tuttle!
-Tuttle?
-I mean, Buttle! It's been confusion from the word go! He's been wrongly charged for Electromemorytherapy and someone somewhere is trying to make us carry the can!
-I've never seen a Ministry cheque before.
-We've got to get rid of it! There's been a balls-up somewhere, and when the music stops they'll jump on whoever's holding the cheque!
-Send it to somebody else. Send it to Buttle. It's his cheque.
-I've tried that! Population Census have got him down as dormanted, the Central Collective Storehouse computer has got him down as deleted, and the Information Retrieval have got him down as inoperative ... Security has him down as excised., Admin have him down as completed
-He is dead.
-Dead! Oh no! That's terrible! We'll never get rid of the damned thing! What are we going to do?
-Try next of kin.
-There we go. Mrs. Veronica Buttle. What's the number on the cheque?
-Problem. She doesn't have a bank account.
-You'd never get away with it. Besides, you can't do that to somebody's refund. It's Christmas. There is one more option.
-What?
-Here. What do I do next?
-Call the motor pool and authorise personal transport.
-Of course, of course. Leave it to me. How do I authorize a cheque?
-Oh God! I think I've broken a bone. What a pathetic thing I am.
-That's it.
-You are good to me Sam.
-Is it all right about Mrs Buttle's cheque?
-I delivered it.
-Can I forget it?
-Damn! Blast!
-What's the matter?
-You don't happen to know how I can get around an IRQ/3 do you?
-All information on 3rd Level Suspects is classified.
-I know that.
-I've go to accept that promotion to get behind this, haven't I?
-Yes. NO! You can't! You've only just turned it down!
-I never signed the form.
-I did it for you.
-What! Shit!
-It's what you wanted isn't it?
-No, you can't have any more chairs! There's only one left in here now, and I need that to sit on! Oh ... er, sorry. Who are you?
-Sam Lowry.
-Ah, yes, you're the new boy from next door, ha ha! My name's Lime. Harvey Lime. Welcome to Expediting.
-Ah. Would you mind if I borrowed your computer console?
-What?
-I'll bring it back in ten minutes.
-You want to take my console into your office?
-Yes.
-Alright. There's someone I want to check out. A woman called Gillian Layton.
-A woman eh? I see.
-I know her age and distinguishing marks. But I need an address or a place of work or something
-This is your dream girl, is it?
-What? Look, let me use the console for a few minutes.
-Sod it, it's broken!
-You haven't switched it on.
-Hey - that's my desk!
-Lime, I need to use your computer
-My mother said it would be all right.
-She didn't say anything about it to me.
-Well, she's my mother, not yours.
-I won't be held responsible.
-How long will she he away?
-Hello, Spiro. Merry Christmas.
-I'm sorry but ...
-You remember Samuel, my son.
-{suddenly unctious) Oh, but of course ...
-Oh, to hell with the diet, a number eight, please.
-Numero une, crevettes à la mayonaaise.
-I just wish you would stop interfering, mother! I don't want promotion. I'm happy where I am.
-Mr Helpmann was very close to your poor father. He was very close to me. Still is. He'll take you under his wing at Information Retrieval. You'll like it when you get there.
-I hope you like it. It's very exclusive.
-What is it?
-What were we saying?
-This isn't rare!
-Actually, Alma, that's one of the little things I was dying to tell you ... Sam's been promoted to Information Retrieval.
-Sam ... you haven't had dessert.
-I'm sorry. I don' t want dessert. I don't want promotion. I don't want anything.
-Mother? Is that you?
-Of course. Isn't it wonderful? The bandages came of this afternoon. Come and join the fun. Everybody's here.
-Is Mr Helpmann here?
-Yes he is - he wants to talk to you.
-It seems you're the first person ever to turn down a promotion. He thinks you should see a doctor.
-Sam!!!
-Mother? ... What ... what's ... you've got to help me ...
-It's a refund ... I'm afraid there was a mistake.
-Mistake?
-My husband's dead, isn't he?
-Er ... I assure you Mrs Buttle, the Ministry is always very scrupulous about following up and eradicating error. If you have any complaints which you'd like to make, I'd be more than happy to send you the appropriate forms.
-What have you done with his body?
-Uh ...
-Really, Sam - when are you going to do something about these terrorists?
-Whatever happened to you?
-There was a slight complication. Dr. Chapman says it often happens with a delicate skin like mine. Nothing to worry about. He's promised me I'll have these bandages off in a ...
-Actually, there's someone I want to meet ...
-Here we are! I'm going to leave you two lovebirds in peace.
-Ah ... hello, Mrs Terrain. SAM lets go of the parcel and pushes JILL away. She moves off.
-I think that'll hold it. Hello Shirley. Just helping someone tie up a Christmas present. How are you?
-My complication had a complication, but Dr Chapman says I'll soon be up and bouncing about like a young gazelle. Are you buying a Christmas present for your mother?
-Er, yes ...
-I can't make up my mind whether to have a number one or a number two. What do you recommend, Spiro?
-Between you and me, Madam, today the number two.
-Numero huit, braised veal in wine sauce.
-It's too exciting. I've left Dr Jaffe and gone to Dr. Chapman.
-That's all right Ida ... it's just that he's such an artist. To him, cutting is so crude ... so primitive.
-Hello - Central Services - I'm at 579B Block l9, Northwestern Section D - that's exit 1 on Green Pastures Highway at the Orange Blossom Flyover - and I've got trouble with the air- conditioning
-Thank you or calling Central Services. am sorry, due to temporary staff shortage, Central Services cannot take service calls centrally between 2300 and 0900 hours - have a nice day - this has not been a recording, incident-
-This is an emergency!
-Thank you for calling Central Services. I am sorry, due -
-Yes, but. I've got to have a heating engineer
-Hello ... hello ...
-Hello. Mr Lowry?
-Put the phone down and your hands up.
-My name is Sam Lowry. I have to report to Mr Warren.
-Thirtieth floor, sir. You're expected.
-Er, don't you want to search me?
-No, sir.
-My I.D. cards.
-No need, sir
-But I could be anybody.
-Excuse me, Dawson, can you put me through to Mr Helpmann's office?
-I'm afraid I can't, sir. You have to go through the proper channels.
-And you can't tell me what the proper channels are, because that's classified information?
-I'm glad to see the Ministry's continuing its tradition of recruiting the brightest and best, sir.
-Are we?
-A steak, please. Rare. Mother, I need to ...
-Monsieur. Quel numero.
-I don't know which numero.
-what? ... Oh ...
-Yes?
-No, not at all. I mean, it's all right. It's fixed.
-I mean it fixed itself.
-Now look what you've done to him.
-Have you got one or haven't you?
-But we can get one.
-It's all right, Terry, it's all right, everything's all right.
-I'm sorry, but I'm a bit of a stickler for paper work. Where would we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?
-What the - ? How did you - ?
-Sign here please.
-What is it?
-What?
-Hang on! Wait a minute! You can't just go and leave it like this!
-For God's sake, what's happened?
-What is it?
-Nice and easy now. Keep your hands where I can see them.
-Harry Tuttle. Heating engineer. At your service.
-Tuttle! Are you from Central Services?
-Ha!!
-But ... I called Central Services.
-They're a bit overworked these days. Luckily I intercepted your call.
-A little precaution, sir. I've had traps set for me before now. There are people in Central Services who'd love to get their hands on Harry Tuttle.
-Well, yes ... and no. Officially, only Central Service operatives are supposed to touch this stuff ... Could you hold these.
-... but, with all the new rules and regulations ... unncgh, c'mon, c'mon ... they can't get decent staff any more ... so ... they tend to turn a blind eye ... as long as I'm careful. ... Mind you, if ever they could prove I'd been working on their equipment ... well, that's a different matter ... up a bit with the torch,
-Sorry. wouldn't it be easier just to work for Central Services?
-Couldn't stand the pa - ah - we're getting warm -
-The pace?
-The paperwork, couldn't stand the paperwork. Over to the left please, if you don't mind sir. Hold it there. Yes, there's more bits of paper in Central Services than bits of pipe - read this, fill in that, hand in the other - listen, this old system of yours could be on fire and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling
-Well I suppose one has to expect a certain amount
-Why? I came into this game for adventure - go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there's trouble, a man alone. Now they've got the whole country sectioned of and you can't move without a form. I'm the last of a breed. Ah ha! Found it! There's your problem.
-Can you fix it?
-Are you expecting anyone?
-Listen .. um ... I don't want to get involved in any of this. But I work at the Ministry of Information, and I happen to know that Information Retrieval have been looking for an Archibald Tuttle, Heating Engineer. You wouldn't by any chance be -
-My friends call me Harry. Information Retrieval, eh? Interesting!
-What do they want you or?
-Thank you very much. How much will it...?
-What am I going to to do with this guy? Pierce, I was just on the phone with Borough Command. Out of twelve shifts this month, you've been late for nine, sick four and that includes the shift where you came late and went home early.
-I'm sick. That's what I've been telling you.
-You're killing me, you know that? You got no sick time according to Command. I've been told to terminate.
-It's okay. I'll just get my things out of the locker.
-I've never fired anyone in my life.
-I'm sorry Captain. Don't take it too hard.
-Nobody tells me to fire anyone. I told them: shove it up the big one. Sorry. I said, you want to fire him, come over and do it yourself.
-You know they won't do it. It's up to you. You gotta be strong.
-I feel for you, but we got an emergency here. It's a weekend of full moons. Everyone's called in sick. Larry, Veeber, Stanley too. We need bodies out there. I had to put Marcus on Twelve Young. You know he's not supposed to work two nights in a row.
-You swore you'd fire me if I came in late again.
-I'll fire you tomorrow. Hell, better than that, I'll forward you some sick time. A week, two weeks off-- how about that?
-I don't think a week's gonna do it.
-You're late, Pierce. I know, but I can't fire you. I've got nobody to work sixteen XRay with Walls.
-No ...
-I got some forms here to fill out about that accident when you get the time. I'll fire you tomorrow. I promise.
-What if there is no tomorrow?
-No English. She has terrible pain in her belly.
-Pregnant.
-No, no, that's impossible.
-Can you walk? Puedes caminar?
-She say she in great pain.
-Is she dying?
-She's having a baby. Twins.
-Es impossible.
-You can trust me on this one.
-You know each other a long time?
-Two years. Ever since we left island.
-In that time, you ever have sex?
-Never. No cigarettes, no drugs, no booze.
-No underwear?
-Hey Cy, guess who's here?
-It's okay, Kanita. Come on in.
-He looks like a cop.
-Frank, take it easy. what happened?
-Be cool, man. You're having a paradoxical reaction. It can happen. Didn't I tell you this guy was stressed out?
-Frank Pierce.
-Mary said you might be coming.
-Where is she?
-Sleeping in the back.
-She asked me to pick her up.
-I know, but she told me to tell you she wants to crash here a few hours. Terrible about her father, isn't it?
-She wanted something to help her sleep.
-I'm always interested in people in stressful occupations and being a paramedic is about as stressful as I can imagine. Here, sit down. What's it like? Tell me some war stories.
-That shit is poison, Frank. We don't drink alcohol here. What you need is one of these.
-Did you give Mary something called Red Death?
-Red Death? Tell me something, Frank--does killing your clients make good business sense to you? The kids selling that shit have no sense. They'll be taken care of, don't worry about that.
-I should be going. I just quit.
-Is this what you gave Mary?
-I guess I'll be going.
-Does that hurt?
-They're gonna torch the fence. You're gonna feel the metal getting warm, maybe very warm.
-So, Frank, am I going to live?
-You're going to live.
-I've been thinking about things. Meditating on my financial future. You guys gave me plenty of time to meditate on the future. Whatja do, stop for Chinese on the way over? There's plenty of food in my place.
-I was tired. I needed a coffee.
-What about Kanita?
-Dead.
-That's too bad. Get some money, a nice looking girl on your arm, and everyone wants to take a piece. Some kid I wouldn't let wash my Mercedes is in my house, shooting at me. Damn, I thought I could make it onto the balcony like Tiger. He's fat, that's why, falls faster. I'm trying to watch my weight, and look what happens. Am
-No.
-Twelve Young, I don't have time for your games. Now answer me or do I have to come out there myself?
-I usually don't do calls before coffee. But I think it might do you some good. Twelve Young is here and I'm gonna take care of you, baby. Don't you worry about a thing, yahear, cause Marcus is alive and on arrival.
-I'm not your baby, Young, I'm not your mother either. You're going to a cardiac arrest, Avenue C and Ninth, northeast corner. It's a club. Take the side entrance.
-Twelve Young, answer the radio. I have a call for you.
-She said to me, I love the way you talk on the radio.
-I can't wait all night, Young. I'm holding a priority and if you don't answer I'm going to knock you out of service.
-Don't worry, hon. Young is here and he's gonna help out--just remember, you owe me.
-You're going to three-four Avenue C, 17 year-old female cardiac arrest, no further information.
-Let's do it! It's Marcus, Love, only for you.
-Male diff breather, approximately 30, Houston and A.
-Okay, what happened?
-He's going to be all right, right?
-No. He's dead.
-No way, man.
-All right, all right, he's been snorting that Red Death stuff. Been going for four days.
-What's his name?
-IB Bangin.
-Excuse me. You are a very kind man. I can see that. A man like you could not refuse a poor sick dying helpless man a small cup of water.
-See, I can't do it. I came out of the desert.
-You came out of the hospital. You were tied down and hallucinating. You got some bad chemicals in your head, Noel. There's some medicine at the hospital that will fix that.
-Noel, you didn't let me finish. We have rules against killing people on the street. Looks bad, but there's a special room at the hospital for terminating. A nice quiet room with a big bed.
-Oh man, do you mean that? Thank you man, thank you. How?
-You're not going to die.
-What did you say?
-That's a hell of a swing you got there, Noel. I'm thinking Strawberry in his prime.
-Here, you try.
-No, I'd better not.
-Sure, sure, give go.
-What the hell. The next year, tiebreaker for the division, in Boston, Yanks down two to nothing, Bucky Dent steps to the plate.
-Oh man, Bucky.
-Do you have any music?
-What?
-Music. I think it helps if you play something he liked.
-Is he going to be alright?
-He's very very sick.
-I know him. That's Noel.
-Is there any chance?
-I wouldn't do that. The doctor seems to think he's suffering from some rare disorder.
-It's my first cigarette in over a year.
-The first is always the best.
-It's the waiting that's killing me, not knowing, you know? It's really hard on my mother. The doctor doesn't think my father'll make it. He says he was dead too long, after six minutes the brain starts to die and once that goes, close the door.
-You never know.
-I mean if he was dead, I could handle that.
-At least he's got people around him.
-I'm not so sure. My father and I haven't spoken in three years. When my brother called to say my father was having a heart attack, that he'd locked himself in the bathroom, all the way going over I was thinking how I was gonna tell him what a bastard he was. Then when I got up the stairs and we moved him onto
-Even when you say the things, there's always more things.
-Right now, I'm more worried about my mother than anything. They won't let her see my father.
-Go home. Take her home. Get some rest. Not going to find anything out now.
-You shouldn't smoke.
-It's okay. They're prescription. Works better with a little whiskey.
-That boy you brought in, he was shot, wasn't he?
-Yes.
-He's dead, huh?
-Yes.
-I think this place stinks.
-Our Lady of Misery.
-Did you see my father?
-No.
-It's crazy in there. What's wrong with that doctor? He keeps mumbling, poking himself in the eye when he talks to me.
-He's working a double shift.
-My father's in a coma, now my mother's going crazy. It's like she's in a trance.
-She should go home.
-Yes?
-Hello, I'm Frank Pierce, from the ambulance last night. I brought your father into the hospital and I just learned some news.
-He's better, isn't he?
-Well, the doctor says he's showing some movement. It's still early, it might mean nothing, but I thought you'd want to know.
-I knew. I sensed it when I heard your voice.
-You look so different.
-I know. It's awful, isn't it? Night of the Living Cheerleaders.
-I think it looks good.
-I was going nuts in that waiting room so I came back to check on my mom.
-How is she?
-Sleeping.
-I was just going to get some food. Pizza. Maybe we could.
-Be tough to get a taxi here. We can give you a ride if you like.
-He wants to pull that tube out. It's pretty painful--that's why they keep him sedated--but it's a good sign.
-That's how it's done. You have to keep the body going until the brain and heart recover enough to go on their own.
-He's better, though, right?
-He's better.
-My father was a great man, you know. There was nobody he wouldn't help. You know that crazy guy Noel who I gave water to last night? He lived in our house for almost a year. A total stranger he'd do anything for, his own family though ...
-It's best not to ... It's good pizza, huh?
-Not as good as Nino's.
-You remember that pizza place, Joe's on Tenth Street maybe fifteen years ago? When you ordered a pie it came with a little plastic madonna in the middle?
-Yeah, or Saint Anthony. You from the neighborhood?
-I grew up on Elizabeth. I went to Blessed Sacrament.
-On yeah? I went to Holy Name. Where'd you go to high school?
-We moved out after that. Upstate.
-Like everybody else--except us. Always standing on the sidewalk waving goodbye to moving trucks. Your parents ... ?
-They're fine. My old man was a bus driver, mom a nurse--I was sort of born to it, I guess.
-You married?
-It's been bad lately, but it's always bad.
-How long you been doing this?
-Five years.
-Wow, you musta seen some things, huh? What's the worst thing you ever seen?
-You learn to sort of block it out, you know, like cops fence off a crime scene. But then something good will happen and everything will just glow.
-You must get a lot of overdoses. I bet you picked me up a couple of times.
-I think I'd remember that.
-Maybe not. I was a different person then. Does everybody you meet spill their problems on you like this?
-Mostly. It must be my face. My mother always said I looked like a priest.
-I better go check on my father. Thanks for the pizza. I owe you one. Maybe when he gets better, you know, when we're done with all this.
-Excuse me. You seemed like you were in trouble.
-I'm all right. I just can't stand to see people tied up. I'm in the waiting room for hours, listening to Noel screaming. The only reason he's screaming is 'cause he's tied up.
-Don't seem so bad to me.
-Don't say that. I wanted to cut my father loose too. They told me he almost died and five minutes later they say he's better and I go in. It's killing me seeing him fighting like that. Look, since you're here, maybe you could do me a favor. I need you to wait for me outside this building, okay? I have to visit a
-I'm only asking because it's a dangerous building. There's been some robberies, a woman was raped not long ago. This woman I'm seeing, she'll want to talk to me all day, but if I can point to you out the window and say you're waiting, I can be out quick. if anything happens, I'll be in apartment 16M.
-Maybe I should come up with you.
-If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, hit the buzzer. That way she'll let me go.
-Nothing's going to happen. I'll come with you.
-I shouldn't have asked you to come.
-You asked me not to come.
-Promise you won't go inside.
-Fifteen minutes.
-I just have to relax a little. Not feel so guilty all the time.
-We can still go back. I'll walk you home. You sleep a couple of hours, watch some TV, take a bath.
-Mary. Mary, we've got to get going.
-You and CY have a nice talk? He tell you about Sunrise Enterprises, helping people? Well, I've seen him hurt people. Why are you following me?
-What is it? You want to help me, you feel sorry for me? Keep it to yourself.
-I need to sit down a minute.
-I heard CY Coates was brought in. He looked pretty bad.
-He'll be all right.
-Too bad. He called me up today, can you believe that? I don't know how he got my number. He asks me do I want to come over and see him, I tell him I'd rather go to a leper colony. He says there's a new gang that wants to kill him, take over the business. I told him I hope he's right. That
-It'll be a while before he's up and running again.
-OK, last night I was weak. it won't happen again. And all that shit I said--it was just because I was stoned. Forget it.
-No problem. Thanks for letting me crash. It was the best sleep I've had in months. I used some of your soap.
-I wish these people would leave already. I can't listen to another story. Did you see him? That doctor says the brain is coming around. They're waiting for the heart to stabilize. I don't know who to believe. He says they still have to keep him tied up.
-Can I bring you something back to eat--a falafal, some pizza?
-No, we just ate. I only remember how tough my father was. Now I know he had to be like that, to make us tough. This city'll kill you if you aren't strong enough.
-This is not a good time.
-Who is it?
-Frank.
-My Lord mother man, you look like hell. What were you drinking?
-The captain almost fired me tonight. I'm on my way out. Anytime now.
-Nobody gets fired. Look at me. Only thing they might do is transfer you to the Bronx. You look like you aged ten years since I rode with you last.
-The ghosts--
-You ever notice people who see shit always, are crazy?
-I think the worst is over.
-She only works when I'm on. I make her wait and it drives her crazy.
-Is it true that you and Love went on a blind date? She hit you with a bottle?
-He's not dead. It's a heroin overdose. Break out the Narcon.
-I ever tell you about the time years ago I was on this ledge uptown, trying to talk this psycho inside?
-Where the guy jumped and you almost fell. No, you never told me that story.
-No, you never listened. I was going, man, if someone on high hadn't pulled me in. I had put all I had into saving this dumbass lowlife suicidal that when he went down, there was a part of me that wanted to go with him.
-Who's that?
-She's the daughter of a cardiac arrest I brought in last night. I told her we'd give her a ride back to Misery. Her father's showing signs of improving.
-Oh, Frank, you've got it bad, so much worse than I thought.
-I'm hungry too. We gotta get some food after this.
-Went over to Sal's got this. There must be some place in Hell for a guy who sells a dollar-fifty a slice. I call you if anything comes up.
-Rule number one: Don't get involved with patients. Rule number two: Don't get involved with patient's daughters. You understand?
-What about rule number three: Don't get involved with dispatchers named Love.
-Nice though, pulling back her hood as we drive by. There's a mystery to it, then she shows you.
-She's no whore, Marcus.
-We're all whores, Frank. You know what I'm talking about, the way she looked at me.
-No, you didn't, Frank, thank you. But there's still a couple hours left on the shift.
-Look at that. A fat junkie. That's a first.
-It's coming. Hold her down.
-What's that, Frank?
-Three legs.
-That's too many.
-Backup?
-Don't give me that look.
-What look?
-You know what I'm talking about. It's all over your face. That I-just- saved-a-little-baby-boy look.
-We just saved a little baby boy. Think of it that way.
-I hate vodka.
-Please, a little decorum if you will. What I was going to say is, is that holding that baby in my arms, I felt like I was twenty-one again. A call like that makes me think of going back to three nights a week, not two, start running again, cut down on the drinking.
-I'll drink to that.
-Here's to the greatest job in the world.
-Where you going?
-I quit! I'm through!
-He got better.
-He one of them?
-That guy I brought in yesterday, post-cardiac arrest. He's gone.
-Burke. You won't believe it. He's showing cognitive signs. He started with spontaneous respiration, now he's fighting to pull out the tube. Had to sedate him. He's in a CAT scan. I'm giving him every test I can: thromboytics, steroids, nitrodrips, heparin.
-What do you think?
-Who knows? It's all lower-brain-stem- activity. The heart refuses to stabilize--he's coded eleven times since he got here. This guy's a fighter. Every time the Valium wears off he starts yanking those restraints.
-The family know?
-Oh Jesus, put her on the monitor. Where's the pediatric code cart? Odette give me that tube. All right, flatline--let's do CPR. step back, Frank. How many months?
-You can't believe how much he's improved.
-How many times have you shocked him tonight?
-Fourteen. We finally got him a room upstairs. Should be up there in a couple of hours.
-What do you do, just have someone follow him around with a defribilator?
-That's good, Frank. No, but they might surgically implant one, about the size of my thumb. It goes near the shoulder here, with two electrodes connected to the heart. It sends a shock whenever it senses a drop in blood flow. Amazing, isn't it?
-Last show of the night.
-Jesus Christ. Nurse Crupp! Anybody else hurt?
-No.
-Where's Burke?
-He's dead, Rose. Your father passed.
-How can that be? He was getting better.
-He coded. They shocked him one too many times. I'm sorry.
-He was tough. You did all you could.
-I'm sorry.
-Would you like to come in?
-It's not worth it, Tom. He's surrendering.
-I'm sick, Tom. I need a cure. Vitamin B cocktail, followed by an amp of glucose and a drop of adrenaline. Not as good as beer, but all I got.
-These are hard times, Tom.
-Yeah. Great, isn't it?
-Great to be drunk. Sobriety's killing me.
-Look up, Frank. Full moon. The blood's gonna run tonight. I can feel it. Our mission: to save lives.
-Our mission is coffee, Tom. A shot of the bull, Puerto Rican espresso.
-The cure's not working, Tom. Maybe we should go back to the hospital.
-Tom, where are the Band-aids? This is an ambulance, isn't it?
-Where you going?
-Whatja doing?
-I feel the need, the need for speed. I'm driving out of myself.
-The brakes are shot.
-I've taken that into consideration.
-You okay?
-Mr. Oh.
-It's early for him.
-Whadda we bring?
-Get this, Frank--we got two patients. Number one, the scarecrow outside. Number two misses the railing but breaks both legs on the balcony, then throws himself through a glass window, heads to the bedroom, where he's now passed out.
-Well, he's the steakhead of the night, then.
-I don't think the fire people can touch him out there.
-How's he doing?
-Get ready, Frank. Missed a drug shooting while you were dicking around in there. There's gonna be trauma tonight!
-As long as we keep moving. No standing still.
-C'mon, Tom, pick up a job.
-You want some bum in the bus terminal? We'll wait for a real call.
-Let's get in a fight, then.
-Who with?
-Let's break something, Tom. Let's bust something, bomb something.
-What do you want to break?
-I don't know--let's break some windows.
-Why?
-Destruction, distraction. I feel the need.
-You need a reason, Frank. You don't just go around breaking people's windows. That's anarchy.
-What's the reason? Give me a reason, Tom.
-This guy's been terrorizing the neighborhood for weeks, ever since he got outta jail, wreaking general havoc, contributing to the bad name of the place. The term "menace to society" was made up for him.
-He's crazy. He can't help it.
-Look at that. Tell me that's a crazy person. Every move is calculated. He knows exactly what he's doing. This is the guy. I've been after him for weeks. He's quick, runs like a rat, tough for one person, but with two of us--
-Okay, whatta I do?
-If he sees me, he'll run, so I'll get out here. You start talking to him about baseball or something while I sneak around behind and get down and you push him. When he falls we get him.
-That's ridiculous.
-Believe me, it always works. The simpler, the better.
-Get the kit! We're gonna tube him!
-Frank!
-Do it!
-Frank!
-We're gonna save you, Noel. You're gonna be all right. Do it, Tom! I'll call for fucking backup, I swear!
-No we can't. He's got a pulse.
-The Chinese close in five minutes. Beef lo mein. It's been on my mind since I woke. Whatjathink?
-I think the moment that food hits your mouth we'll get a job.
-Oh no!--I just remembered.
-What?
-I'm so stupid. I had beef lo mein last night. I can't eat the same thing two nights in a row. It's almost two o'clock, what the hell am I gonna do? What you getting?
-I'm not hungry.
-Oh yeah, you don't eat food.
-I eat. I just haven't had coffee yet.
-Turn it off.
-What?
-You wanted it turned off. There's no such thing as a good fire. People get burned up. They can't breathe.
-That's what we're here for. Come on, Frank.
-Don't push it, Larry.
-Mr. Oh.
-Relax, it's a street job, easy except for the smell. We'll just throw him in back and zip over to Mercy--no blood, no dying, that's how I look at it. He's just a drunk.
-It's not our job to taxi drunks around.
-They'll just keep calling.
-Well why didn't you say so?
-Faster! God!
-Larry, swing over on Eighth. We're gonna hafta run one of these calls.
-I'm not feeling very well, Larry. I say we go back to the hospital and call it a night.
-You have no sick time, Frank. No time of any kind. Everyone knows that.
-Take me back, put me to bed; I surrender. We've done enough damage tonight.
-You take things too seriously. Look at us, we're cruising around, talking, taking some quiet time, getting paid for it. We've got a good job here.
-Tell me, you ever think of doing anything else?
-He's crazy.
-Jesus, Tom Walls, that crazy motherfucker.
-You're in the stomach!
-You're in the stomach! Let me try.
-Stomach again.
-One-three Zebra. Zebra three, I need you.
-You see, he's giving it to us anyway.
-Zebra, are you there? I'm holding an unconscious at First and St. Marks.
-Answer the radio Zebra. You know it's that time.
-Four times this week I've had him. Aren't there any other units out there? Don't answer the radio. They'll give it to someone else.
-Look, Frank, when I say don't answer it, that means answer it. You can do that for me at least. Three Zebra.
-Yes, Zebra. You'll be driving to the man who needs no introduction, chronic caller of the year three straight and shooting for number four. The duke of drunk, the king of stink, our most frequent flier, Mr. Oh.
-Shit, shit, shit...
-Okay if I watch you tape that interview downstairs?
-One source referred to it as a five billion dollar metal sculpture to ugly to look at and too big to bury.
-...outlaw nation but strangely those who have interviewed Gaddafi find him, in a phrase we like to use in this country, very 'presidential'.
-Hi, Aaron...What's doing?
-You want to go out there -- get out of this for a second?
-What did I do to you?
-How <u>you</u> doing?
-Great. Network news, Washington... I love it. What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?
-Keep it to yourself.
-You know the other day I really wanted your reaction to how we did with the Libyan report -- I was going to ask but I guess I feel a little intimidated with you.
-You can't talk about feeling intimidated when you're on top of the world. It's unseemly.
-I'm not buying into any of that. I have a load to learn. I'm not going to act as if...
-Shut up a second...
-Okay. Pretty petty party, isn't it, pal?
-I made one rule for myself when this started and I realized I was going to take a lot from you people because of being from sports...
-And the rule was...
-Never to pretend to know more than I did.
-Can you name all the members of the Cabinet?
-Okay, let's drop it. I didn't mean I'd take a test for you -- I mean if that came up in conversation I'd...
-Don't name them. Just tell me if you know.
-Yes, Aaron. I know the names of the Cabinet.
-Yes.
-You're feeling good, aren't you?
-I'm starting to... We may do the capitols of the states.
-I'm in a pissy mood. I'm sorry.
-What's wrong with it?
-This is uncomfortable for me -- because, well, I don't mean it as a knock, but we approach this differently.
-We sure do. I don't mean it as a knock either. Go ahead. I'll just say what I think and you can disregard it if you want.
-Wait.
-What?
-I don't like being handled.
-Sit on it! <u>Now</u> look.
-No. That's not going to tell us anything. Let's get this prompter going.
-It's not loaded.
-No. No.
-No?
-Don't let your eyes go from the beginning of the sentence to the end like that. You don't want to look shifty, do you?
-Oh, God, no!
-You were smokin' toward the end there.
-Everybody has one like that. I thought it was great when you started to laugh at the end.
-Yeah -- well, I'm sorry I'm tying up Jane, I didn't realize you two would be going this late. Sorry.
-No. Don't worry about it.
-What did they do with you?
-They booted me out of Washington.
-Impossible. There's no system that wouldn't value one of us.
-You packing up tonight?
-Yes. And I'm sorry that they're sending you down for a while, but you'll make it back...Where they sending you?
-London.
-London. That's a promotion!
-I don't think so.
-It is. Yes -- that's where they had Rorish, for God's sake, before they made him anchor. I can't stand it -- they're grooming you for it all and you don't even know it.
-Hold it down, okay?
-Yes. You're not going to stick around for the farewell party?
-This story they won't cover. And if the network doesn't cover it -- it must not be important so why worry.
-You know what I...
-Hi.
-I'm just bringing him over to give Jane a look at him --
-I thought she'd be here. I'll go with you.
-Okay.
-He excels at gratitude.
-It's nice to see you.
-Congratulations on history's longest winning streak.
-If you ever get restless in Portland, let me know.
-It's Mr. Buddy Felton?
-Yes.
-That's your full name?
-Yes.
-I might as well ask you the questions on tape. Is that all right?
-Yes.
-You worked at one time as Foreign Service Trainee in the State Department.
-I was there two years and was promoted on merit nine times.
-Eventually rising to...
-You're saying the fact that you're gay had something directly to do with your promotions?
-I don't like the word gay.
-Which would you prefer?
-Ravenous homosexual.
-Hi. Turn on your TV... <u>Good Morning America</u>, the <u>Morning News</u> and <u>Today</u> are all about to talk to Arnold Schwarzenegger and I think he's live on at least two of them.
-At six o'clock on the wake-up news they used the wrong missile graphic.
-Now listen, Arnold just said that he's been making three million a movie now. But he's not ever gonna change. He's still the same person when he was making two million dollars a movie. He feels no different. He also bought a brand- new condo with Maria, they gonna furnish tastefully.
-A half hour in the lobby.
-Where's where I asked him about being scared? You should work on your speech.
-He must have been great-looking, right?
-Why do you say that?
-Okay. Let's do me.
-Sure.
-Okay. I feel like I'm slipping but do people who are actually slipping feel that way or is it always the really good people who are moving up who invariably think they're slipping because their standards are so high?
-This conversation is not worthy of you.
-I'd give anything if that were true.
-Good night.
-Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If needy were a turn-on?
-They didn't hire Peter Stiller from the <u>Times</u> and he had a great audition tape.
-Nine seconds.
-Eleven and a half.
-I didn't sleep. They're giving me less and less air time. They don't think I'm at all anchor material.
-If we don't get to their camp soon, we won't be able to tape the supplies coming in.
-Last time Paul was sick they gave Connie the weekend news instead of me.
-Okay. Great line at the end.
-Did you shoot their boots?
-Of course.
-We can cut back at the end.
-To the pan of the supplies boxes --
-I write for you sometimes.
-What happened?
-I'll tell you later -- where you going to watch from?
-Watch? --
-I think the pilot that shot down the Libyan in 1981 is stationed right here. Maybe you could get him -- and maybe Tom should say that our F-14 is one of the hardest planes to fly. They're nicknamed 'Tomcats'.
-Me again. Hi. Listen Gaddafi doesn't foam at the mouth or anything. When you speak to him he's not at all nuts. He seems like a leader -- very impressive, self-control...that's what's so strange.
-Right and we have the '81 pilot on the way in -- Nobody else will have him.
-Well, whatever you think.
-I figured out exactly why it is I'm so hung up on getting a chance at weekend anchor...It's because if I do that well, they'll pay me more, treat me great and my life will be better. That's why.
-Sounds like you may be on to something.
-You know you've had a strange day... I'd sleep on all these things you've been thinking.
-Absolutely...You go have a good time... You have some place to go?
-Yes.
-Jesus, Jane. How long have you been here?
-Aaah -- -- ello. You sure they said the management meeting? They want me to be at the management meeting.
-Tom...why don't I meet you there? I've got some last minute stuff I've got to take care of...Hey, how did you resolve your dilemma -- did you rent the tux or buy it...I knew it. How much? Wow...Okay...See you there...
-I didn't know you were going with him.
-Did you bring your grey suit?
-I read about it -- that's how you can make sure you don't put on too much perfume...
-Could you at least pretend that this is an awkward situation for you -- me showing up while you're getting ready for a date.
-Because this is important -- so don't just be polite. I'd really like to look...what's the word I'm looking for?...
-As good as humanly possible.
-Yes.
-Well, the line of the jacket -- No really....just very nice...just right. I wish I could be there.
-Me too...Hey...if it gets dull a little before 11:00, drop by the studio.
-I'm not sure I'll be able to...I...
-<u>If</u>...if not, I'll have the tape...I'll wait for you at my apartment.
-Thanks, Jane. Have a good time tonight.
-How'd it go?
-You didn't see it or speak to anybody?
-No.
-Then it went well.
-Did it really go well?
-Define your terms.
-Do you feel good about it?
-No.
-Do others feel that you did well?
-No.
-Then what was good about it?
-I lost six pounds...
-Aaron, will you tell me?
-It was great...writing my little first rate copy, sitting on my jacket, punching my one thought. But I had this historic attack of flop sweat so they'll never let me another again. Oh, I lost one of your shoulder pads -- how was your evening anyway?
-What do you mean, flop sweat? -- you're making too much out of it...I'll bet you were the only one aware of it...
-People phoned in.
-Stop kidding. I want to know what happened.
-I'm not kidding.
-There were complaining phone calls because you were sweating?
-No, nice ones worried that I was having a heart attack.
-If all that happened, how come you're so chipper?
-I don't know. At a certain point it was so off the chart bad -- it got funny. My central nervous system was telling me something. Jane -- sweat running down my face -- makeup falling into my eyes -- people turning this fusillade of blow dryers on me -- all so I could read introductions to other people who were covering stories which
-I told what's his name -- Tom -- that I'd meet him.
-Call him -- I mean it can wait, right?
-I don't know. I may be in love with him.
-Don't go.
-This is important to me.
-What?
-Aaach...Jane... Let's take the part that has nothing to do with me. Let's let me be your most trusted friend, the one that gets to say awful things to you. You know?
-Yes, I guess. Yes.
-You can't end up with Tom because it goes totally against everything you're about.
-Yeah -- being a basket case.
-I know you care about him. I've never seen you like this about anyone, so please don't take it wrong when I tell you that I believe that Tom, while a very nice guy, is the Devil.
-This isn't friendship.
-I think you're the Devil.
-No. You know that I'm not.
-How?
-You were quick enough to get Tom's help when...
-I've got to not say that aloud; it takes too much out of me.
-Don't say anything about anything.
-Bastard, sneak, quitter.
-Speaking.
-Why not try it for a few weeks?
-Stop. Ernie thought I was good too -- he couldn't help. My agent has a hot prospect -- the number two station in Portland. The general manager says he wants to be every bit as good as the networks. Personally, I think he should aim higher.
-Tell me the God's honest truth -- are you leaving because of me? Because if you are...
-Ernie told this story. How he used to write obits and when the people in town called him up with death notices, he cried. He was till that way when they promoted him out of obits. He says you're lucky if you can get out while you could still cry. I should have quit this place three years ago.
-Let's go...
-I just want to sit here longer, I mean the feeling is powerful -- why's that?
-You are now required to sit here with me. Come on...be smart for a second -- what do you think will happen to us?
-Okay, that's very easy. Five, six years from now I'll be in town to collect an award representing the surge in foreign coverage by local stations.
-Yes.
-I'll be walking with my wife and two children -- we'll bump into you on the street, my youngest son will say something and I'll tell him... ...it's not nice to make fun of single, fat ladies.
-You won't be able to stay mad at me, right?
-I think so...They've been talking to me about being Tom's Managing Editor.
-Really?
-So who's the guy?
-I like it! So, doll, what about you lately?
-Ready.
-Your hair's a little funny.
-It's an ethnic curl, I can't do anything about it.
-In front of a little -- it's a bit... You want a mirror?
-Okay.
-Oh, you mean use him...That's nice. Okay.
-I'll put him in the low corner of the frame -- good.
-I saw the smile -- good piece.
-I had the strangest thing happen yesterday. Anne and I have been married what? -- Thirty-six years... Everything fine -- two days after the promotion came through, I was checking myself in the mirror and she was making a face at me behind my back. So yesterday I looked in the mirror and she was doing it again.
-That's it. I resign as of now.
-Stop it.
-Oh, I was just writing you a note. What do you say we take a walk?
-Outside?
-I don't know if we have any younger man more respected in our operation than you.
-Just tell me what's really going on. I think we know each other well enough for me to expect that.
-We know each other well enough for me to care how I put something to you which could wipe you out. So I will phrase things the way I think they should be phrased. All right?
-Anyway. I want you to think of this as...
-Just blunt talk, okay? I'd really appreciate bluntness.
-Aaron, I've never seen them like this -- I think Paul's nervous about his own job and for some reason he thinks you only appeal to...
-Wait. Bullshit me a little...I'm beginning to appreciate it.
-I'm no suggesting the worst will happen...but someone with your brilliance gets nibbles about other jobs and maybe, the next time that happens, down the road -- you should look into it.
-Ah, damn -- the fucking jerks -- My, God. They want to fire me.
-All I know is that they've got to fire a large number of people... and they're not going by seniority. There's a recklessness in the air. They...
-Do one thing to me? Get me one shot at anchoring the Weekend News -- they've never seen me do it. I think it could turn them around.
-Do it then.
-Please prepare carefully. This couldn't come at a better time.
-Prepare what? You have Saturday's news handy?
-Okay. I think I'd better be alone for a while.
-I understand. I'll go with you.
-It's what he did. I'm proud of him.
-They told me they'd keep me because they could plug me into any story and my salary was in line.
-The cost-efficient reporter.
-Just a few questions?
-We came from Washington.
-Move away from me.
-How long has it been since you've been home.
-Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckes. Snot... Fuckee. You want to use that?
-All this business of war -- do you get scared?
-Okay. I just wanted you to know.
-What is she shooting?
-Norman Rockwell's 'Homecoming.'
-Norman Rockwell's enduring portrait of a <u>Homecoming</u> The return of a fighting man has always been one of the more moving ceremonies of war... Tearful women, proud men, excited children. But J.D. Singer was right -- his homecoming was no big deal.
-I was a little nervous there for a minute.
-Goodbye, Paul.
-Take care, Paul. It takes a certain kind of courage for you to say that in front of the President of the News Division.
-You think anyone who's proud of the work we do is an ass kisser.
-No. I think anyone who puckers their lips and presses it against his boss' buttocks and then smooches is an ass kisser.
-Just when do you start, telling people?
-Almost immediately.
-I'd like to take everyone out after the show.
-Bill...This is hard on all of us and it's no time for compliments. But I think it's extraordinary of you to come down here for this.
-This is a brutal layoff...And all because they couldn't program Wednesdays.
-Jane?
-Yes.
-Well, darling, if it gets any better than that, I'm going to have to bring you up here to New York.
-But thanks.
-Aaron should be hearing this so I have an extra witness.
-Well, you always want to give the credit away, do you?
-No, I don't. He happens to deserve the credit. He's right here.
-You don't have time. Not a chance.
-I've got to tell Ernie...because there isn't enough time.
-What did he say?
-Yeah, I know, I went back and forth on it.
-Tell George and Jessica to try and cover everything without Tom having to ask additional questions.
-And Bobbie says...
-Did you hear what I just said -- do you have that? Take a breath.
-It's Aaron.
-Do you know you're the second woman in network news history to produce?
-What are you dressed up for? Oh, that's right -- because the Evening News is here this week.
-They canned me. Well, my brother will feel great -- now he's not the only screw-up.
-Go back to 316, Bobbie. The sound bite in the cab -- it starts, 'I don't know how I'll feel...'
-We could...
-Play back the last line...
-He said something about...
-Okay, Bobbie, just a two-second dissolve to the Rockwell.
-Should I...
-Do you want him all the way to the car?
-No stop where he's all besieged.
-Because...
-You know, I like Tom, because hi...
-They're not really going to call security are they?
-No, I don't think so.
-How do I get out of here?
-Follow me.
-I've been doing some morning show stuff, but mostly radio -- that doesn't bother me. I'm in no rush for anything. It's just the snotty attitude, even if I have it coming, it's still...
-Bad manners.
-Yes. That's right.
-I know...I mean you didn't do anything special for me tonight. You just had what I think are good manners, decency. And it really makes me want to be nice back and it has nothing to do with any homosexual thing. Honestly. Because I don't know if you've homosexual or not and -- you're not, are you?
-No...no.
-I really have to go.
-Okay. At least let me show my appreciation. The Secretary of Labor is going to be indicted on Wednesday. For the graft thing he supposedly did before he was appointed.
-What?
-Yes, it's true. They're going to make it public Wednesday but isn't it a big deal for you to have it a day and a half early?
-Yes. How do you know?
-...and the White House is hoping to keep a lid on it for a few days till they figure out what to do.
-Thanks a lot, Buddy.
-Oh, please. So they were really impressed with you at work.
-Not impressed exactly -- but a break in the clouds.
-Forgive me, but it really is intoxicating being a news source.
-Nobody else had it.
-I wish it were you giving the story.
-That's okay.
-What if we just don't tell them anything anymore unless they let you do the story?
-No. Really...don't worry about it.
-Okay. And look, in the future I can call you when I have news for you. Don't feel you have to spend time with me just to get the information. Well, that wasn't as hard to say as you thought, was it, Buddy?
-Hey, Buddy, don't do that anymore.
-Is everything all right?
-Yes. You didn't have to come here. It's just that I'm going to anchor this special report on this Libyan thing...
-Anchor?
-Yes, stop! I wondered if you could find out anything about what's happening. What's wrong?
-I broke up with my roommate -- He was really the magnet for everyone who knew anything.
-Oh.
-Look, I can start up with him again if you really...
-Good. He's on the world's longest ego trip, let him take it alone.
-Hey, okay. Look Buddy -- I've got to go to work.
-...good-bye then.
-I'll speak to you.
-Ernie, they're calling from work.
-Tell me I'm on the way in.
-What?
-How horrible. We'll be fine. You'll be fine. Stay here with me -- we'll go for a drive, have some drinks, make happy plans.
-No. They're firing even more people than they said. Some will want to talk. It could help.
-Bye, sweetie.
-...am starting to get jealous. I read in the newspapers about the Italian strike and riots in Milan. I hope you weren't...
-Jane -- For God's sake... Look, it's time for you to go to sleep.
-I just have two more pen pals and then I'm done.
-You don't have to finish tonight.
-Nooo. This way the rotation stays the same.
-I don't know a recent Saturday I've sold more. You didn't think I'd sell that health restaurant, did you?
-No. Not even you.
-Why so glum?
-I don't know.
-Go ahead.
-No, nothing. I've got a problem, I guess.
-Were you bothering by those waitresses making a fuss?
-You know, Tom, I feel a little proud when people comment on your looks. Maybe you should feel that way.
-Proud? I'm just embarrassed that I like when they say those things.
-As long as that's your only problem you're...
-I got my report card. Three Cs, two Ds and an incomplete.
-Oh my. I see you studying so hard, Tom. What do you think the problem is?
-Thanks, Dad, this talk helped. Will you sign it, please?
-Would it help if I got you a tutor?
-Tom isn't ready for the job you're about to hand him. Not near ready. Not by the longest shot. Aaron's spent six weeks in Tripoli, he's interviewed Gaddafi -- he reported on the Eight-one story. I think he's essential to do the job we're capable of and I think it's my responsibility to tell you that.
-Okay, that's your opinion. I don't agree.
-It's not opinion.
-It must be nice to always believe you know better. To think you're always the smartest person in the room.
-I had no idea she was this good.
-Hi.
-I just wanted to tell you how great you were. My name's Tom Grunick.
-Thank you. They hated me. I don't hate them.
-Hi. I was worried I was early.
-I kept thinking what a great break it was for me to get to see you tonight. More than a great break, maybe just what I needed...just when I needed it...Angel of mercy -- godsend...lifesaver...what?
-I like "godsend."
-If we could just eat first.
-Totally understood. Totally wrong of me to talk shop after the day you've had. Totally sorry.
-Another thing I can't stand is ...when White House reporters bullshit with each other after a briefing and then one of them has a theory and the other quotes it in his story as "White House" sources say...
-That actually goes on...
-Yes. My room is down here -- I'm not tired. Do you want to keep talking?
-Come on...Even I'm not that hard on myself.
-I was doing sports at the station. The newspaper ran this untrue story that I was leaving and they got all these tons of protest mail. So they made me anchor.
-So great -- right?
-Except I'm no good at what I'm being a success at.
-Listen to me. You keep on thinking I'm somebody ho lacks...confidence. That's not it. I know I can talk well enough and I'm not bad at making contact with people, but I don't like the feeling that I'm pretending to be a reporter. And half the time I don't really get the news I'm talking about. It isn't that I'm down on myself. Trust
-I trust you.
-I didn't even have the chance to get really good at sports. I wasn't bad. I thought I was starting to do interesting features but hockey is big at the station and...
-What about the obvious remedy? Reversing things. Maybe getting a job on a newspaper.
-But that didn't stop me from sending out audition tapes to bigger stations and the networks.
-Well, come on -- it is your life. Nobody is tying you to the fast track. Did you go to college?
-One year...almost one year.
-It's hard for me to advise you since you personify something that I truly think is dangerous.
-Uh-huh.
-Whoa, this was a mistake.
-I never told you the reason I was telling you everything for.
-Hey?
-They said it would be okay if...
-I'm sorry if I was in the way. It was totally impressive. Great piece.
-You weren't. Thanks. How does it feel being here?
-I can't believe I'm really here. No kidding. If you're through work now --
-No. Aaron and I go to Central America on Wednesday -- so I'm cramming.
-I thought you were incredible in there. I know how much I have to learn. I'd really -- a lot -- appreciate it...if...
-'Really a lot appreciate it...'
-I can't help you, sorry. I'm not here to teach remedial reporting.
-Hi.
-How's it going?
-Can I buy you dinner sometime soon?
-I just got back -- I don't know which end is up.
-So he was indicted?
-Give it to him -- so we can concentrate.
-I've got another story.
-Some public official skipped a week on his Christmas Club?
-The House Armed Service Committee has a secret report which says that the General Stillwell tank the Army has dumped a fortune into plain won't work. I have it cold, confirmed. They have five million dollars in this thing already.
-Billion.
-It's the firs time I've seen you dressed like this. You look so clean and pretty.
-What do you mean clean?
-At work there's always this sort of film over you.
-Well, thumps like me leave appearance to guys like you.
-You okay?
-Nervous?
-We're going to George. Say 'the Joint Chiefs are meeting -- we have George Weln at the Pentagon'.
-You're an amazing woman. What a feeling having you inside my head.
-Yeah. It was an unusual place to be.
-You have to celebrate with me, don't you? Everybody's going to that bar on the corner, 'Caps.'
-Jane?
-Yeah?
-I'll wait for you till seven.
-I didn't think you'd make it.
-Well, I thought I'd check if all of you were still here. I'll just go in and join the gang and you two go on.
-There's no gang in there -- We were the last ones.
-Well, I'll go in and have a bite.
-Jennifer, you want to have another drink?
-Come on, I'll buy you a drink. There's a big thing over at the Italian embassy.
-I'm not sure I'd be good company tonight.
-It's much too soon for you to have this kind of buzz around you.
-Do I have to stand here in the middle and meet them all?
-Maybe we could just sit here -- talk a little?
-Okay. You didn't like the party, huh?
-I'm going to have to do a story from beginning to end on my own.
-Eventually. Does it have to be right now?
-Believe me, I wouldn't be doing this unless it was absolutely necessary. I have an idea for something.
-What?
-I just read about it in a magazine and it affected me.
-Well, what is it?
-If I tell you, can you manage not to put it down or tell me why it won't work or is in bad journalistic taste or anything like that?
-I'm not sure I dialed right -- Jane?
-Jane, yes. Tom? Tom, is that you? Is this Tom?
-Yes.
-I had to sleep fast so I took two allergy pills to help me...I'm sorry...Hey, you called me.
-It's not important.
-Says who? Not important -- ha-ha-ha. I was dreaming -- Oh, no -- can't tell -- how embarrassing for me. Gosh.
-What pills did you take? You sound more like someone on a general anesthetic. Maybe I'd better speak to you tomorrow.
-Nooo. Is it your story?
-No. Are you going to the Correspondents' Dinner on Saturday?
-Why, you need me for the story?
-No. Were you going to you?
-Uh-huh.
-Maybe I'll get off work. I'd like to go.
-Oh, good.
-So you like me, huh?
-So what did you think?
-It moved me. I did relate to it -- I really did. It was unusual for you to cut to yourself when you tear up -- and that might not have been my choice...but it's real and it got me...and I think a lot of the time I'm too conservative about that kind of stuff. Okay?
-It's incredible who's here.
-Who?
-Suppose I go in for a little while and you wait in the lobby-bar. How's that?
-You're not going to take off on me, are you?
-You okay?
-Why can't I let go of this woman?
-At least kiss me when you do that.
-You just can't stop editing me. Huh?
-I was half hoping I wouldn't have a good time tonight. You know why?
-Because you're nuts.
-I don't remember saying anything like that -- exactly...I don't know why I just did.
-Oh let's see -- wait a minute, well, I can think of two reasons.
-What?
-Three...I just thought of a third... If you talk about it, you don't have to do it.
-That's not it.
-I forgot all about Aaron. I promised to stop by and see how he did.
-I'd like to know. I'll go along.
-What happened?
-Don't run off -- like everything's settled the minute you make up your mind.
-He might be weird -- he can talk more freely if I go alone -- why's that so hard to understand?
-It's not that it's hard. I just want you to give me a minute to catch up.
-Hi. It's me.
-Where are you?
-I can't get away just yet. I'm at Aaron's.
-Well, when?
-I'm not sure. It seems like he had sort of a mishap on the news.
-I know. I taped it.
-It wasn't as bad as he think, was it? -- it wasn't unprecedented or anything?
-Hi, again. Sorry about...
-No. That sounds more important. Let's forget about tonight.
-I don't know if that's absolutely necessary.
-I've got my father coming through tomorrow anyway. I should get some sleep.
-Uh-huh.
-Hello?
-Yes.
-Okay. Good night.
-Good night??!
-Jane, I'm not some chore you have to finish so you can stay on schedule.
-I feel terrible about what happened. What did he say?
-He -- uh -- said he liked you because you looked like you had -- fire and honesty.
-No. Did he really?
-Yes. Then he said a really weird thing...
-What?
-That it would be a treat to make someone like you feel better... He gets like that sometimes.
-Maybe I haven't been here long enough. But, hey, congratulations on the promotion.
-How can you say that to me?
-Well, I just think that' an extraordinary proposal.
-That's yes?
-Then give me a minute...
-Why?
-I felt funny about it afterwards. It's verboten, huh? I thought since I did it for real the first time -- but I get you. That's not the reason you're not coming?
-Of course it's the reason. It's terrible what you did.
-We disagree on how God-awful it was. Why don't you come with me and we can disagree and get a tan at the same time?
-Jesus, if you're glib about this I'm going to lose it. I was up all night and...
-Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane, Jane...
-It made me ill. You could get fired for things like that.
-I got promoted for things like that.
-Working up tears for a new piece cutaway...You totally crossed the line between...
-It's hard not to cross it; they keep moving the little sucker, don't they?
-It just proves that the difference we have are...
-This is a one-way argument. We've got six days; if you go and we fight and we hate it -- we'll come home. If you don't go? Well, that's a much bigger deal. I go to London right after that. So, it'd be very big deal if you stay here. The plane's boarding. You're good at deadline. Here's your ticket.
-It's amazing. You commit this incredible breach of ethics and you act as if I'm nitpicking. Try and get this. When you edited that...
-That's not going to be the way we say good-bye. Even though I think what you did was rotten -- it's not all impersonal. You mean something to me.
-I don't wan to discuss work.
-Well, let's do a special report on that...I mean that's news.
-I knew what you meant.
-You're lucky I came after you so you got that off your...
-Yes, I am. Thanks. I mean it.
-So you have an extra bathing suit, huh?
-You want to come?
-It's just that one of the few things I'm not confused about is what I was saying downstairs, that...
-Then you should stay here.
-Take it easy.
-Well, why not? Hey, what is this? My life's rushing in front of my eyes.
-A picnic?
-What a great surprise. I didn't think we had a chance. I heard you wanted to stay in Washington.
-Well, there's a guy, but he says he'll fly up a lot.
-Well, we should talk. You going to have time for dinner? I'd like you to meet Lila.
-I'm sorry because I was looking forward to that, but I' m going back in a few hours.
-This is very awkward.
-Go ahead -- what?
-Ummm -- it's dumb dorm stuff but I see Tom around you a lot and this is such a small office and I'd like to see him outside of work, unless there's some reason for you to mind... in which case I just won't do anything.
-God Almighty -- Whew. Do I mind? Why do I mind? I do mind. What a shock -- I don't have a right to... I don't think I like him. I know I don't respect him...So what am I talking about -- what am I saying to you?
-You're saying stay away from him.
-I sure know that feeling. Terrific work today.
-So he bought this Peugeot sedan at a greatly reduced price while he was there in charge of the White House Advance Team.
-How come you're not chasing it down yourself?
-Look, I'm junior man -- and it's your beat.
-Boy, that's nice...I wish we could all deal with each other like this. I'll check it. Anything I can do for you?
-This is my first time at the White House. Is there any chance to look at where he works and the rest of it?
-The last time I was with someone we went through this awful mutual disease questionnaire but I guess it beats getting paranoid the next day. Okay, I'll go first. I haven't...
-Where's the bathroom?
-I converted a bedroom -- this stuff builds up. Wait till you've been doing this sixteen years.
-That's enough. That's enough.
-I'm sorry.
-Are you okay?
-Yes, I'm sorry.
-Don't be silly. What are you sorry about?
-I just need you for another minute now, so we can shoot from behind towards me, and, um...
-Uh-huh.
-Don't you work here?
-Would you like to do me?
-I just might.
-That's not true I am a sculptor!
-If you were an artist you could have created something!
-What are you doing here?
-Listen schmuck, why don't you get out of here and let me go to bed!
-I didn't finish talking to you!
-Well I'm done talking to you, what do I have to do, draw you a diagram!
-Well I'm touched. You're serious, aren't you?
-Yes. Fifty dollars an hour, right?
-Tonight.
-What, right now?
-It's kind of dark -
-I'm almost ready -
-That doesn't look like very much clay.
-Oh it's enough...
-Are you nervous, Walter?
-Not even a little bit?
-I already told you I'm not.
-When's the last time you had a totally nude girl in your room...
-Um...
-A girl with a body like mine?
-Walter can I ask you something?
-What!
-It's just an innocent question. Besides I just wanted to clarify your intentions.
-Whaddya mean?
-Look - This pose is all wrong!
-Alright we're clear.
-Anything new?
-Not really. One girl who fit the descrip came in, kinda skinny, brunette, didn't see much changing hands.
-Is the manager cooperating?
-Yeah, he's keeping an eye out, said he'd call us if he sees anything. That's about it for tonight.
-Alright I got you, man. It's my turn for freak patrol.
-What the hell's going on?
-Everyone wants to meet the bus boy.
-What did he do?
-See you later -
-Don't worry about him...what have you got?
-I've never seen anything like this, maybe Segal, but nothing with such... dichotomy... It's very good, Walter -
-You really like it?
-Great! What is it?
-It's a...full length life-size figure!
-What's it called?
-It's called spontaneity, Leonard. Get with the program.
-Look at the size of it!
-It's not really that big I got it on kind of a stand...
-Let's see it.
-Uh, well, I'm a little nervous, I never did a person before.
-Like it? It's a masterpiece. I've never seen anything like it before... and I hope I never see anything like it again. Walter smiles and looks at his creation -
-How did you ever find it all in yourself, Walter?
-Gee..twenty five dollars for something I made!
-Hi Walter.
-These guys came by to help me try out some of my new organic recipes.
-What's up, Walter?
-I came over to see you. I brought something...I wanted to show you.
-Oh yeah?
-Is it murdered man?
-You think she's better than Murdered Man?
-More champagne, your majesty?
-Where where...
-May I please have another little kiss?
-Walter! Jeez!
-Did you hear what he said?
-Yes Walter.
-It's true, isn't it?
-I know what it is to be ignored.
-Tell us what you're going to make next, Walter.
-I mean, you look so pretty.
-Thank you.
-Are you ready?
-Ready? We've got plenty of time.
-Goodbye.
-Nice night out...
-Well...what did you want to talk to me about?
-Well...w-what kind of people do you like, Carla?
-Oh, I don't know. Smart people. Creative people I guess.
-You think I'm creative?
-Of course I do!
-I like you very much, Walter.
-Well that was for your sculpture of the girl. Your nude in the chair.
-- even though Leonard's always asking you to go out with him and I - just -
-Uh... ...how long have you been thinking about this, Walter?
-But you gotta love me! Why do you think I made that statue of Alice?!
-Walter, I'm sorry...
-Now calm down Walter! Now, let's go in there, and when the show's over, maybe we can talk about it.
-No! I want to talk about it now!
-Walter... I don't want to hurt your feelings but there is no way we're ever going to get...together. You know what I mean?
-Why not?!
-Because... We're just friends. That's all. Just friends. WALTER I get it. I see the whole thing now. No one knows if Walter Paisley is born!
-Jeez, what is your problem all of a sudden?
-I'm sorry about what I said before.
-Forget it.
-I've been thinking... Carla, would you do one favor for me?
-Just about anything, Walter.
-Would you really like to? That would make me very happy.
-Walter...there's...
-What?
-Walter...stay away from me!
-That's word for word.
-Here you go, enjoy.
-I hope this was made with egg whites!
-It was.
-What's this sauce! I'm lactose intolerant.
-Don't worry it's a non-dairy sauce made from soy milk.
-Put it in the middle of the room!
-Walter...I can't believe it.
-Ah, your new head shot... I like it, very much...
-I'm trying to find a style of my own. Do you really like them?
-Hi Walter...
-Maybe so...
-You've arrived. You've been recognized. You're a talent, a creative force to be reckoned with.
-Are you trying to be funny?
-Murdered...man?...
-Are you alright?
-Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better.
-What's the matter with you?
-Nothing...nothing at all.
-I've never seen anyone so... squeamish. Well, what's your opinion, Leonard?
-Don't ask.
-Well then admit it, it's a work of genius.
-No. Why don't you cover it up Walter...
-Why not?
-What's wrong with you, why do you want to hide it?
-Well, I've been thinking... I didn't realize how much...talent Walter actually had. It would be wrong for us to show them one at a time. Dead wrong.
-It will take years to make that many statues. But your work would be featured.
-That's the idea, Walter. It's the only way to gain recognition. All the big art critics and art dealers would be there, it would be an event.
-Carla and I will guide you, help develop and evolve your work...maybe lead you toward something more abstract...
-Abstract? With his talent for realism?
-Would you pose for me for free?
-It's our road kill series. I take the pictures.
-Yeah, can you say plagiarism?
-Look at that, man. Big deal.
-I know.
-I mean it's like, you know, I do my art because that's what I am, you know? I'm an artist. I'm not like a banker, you know. Like I create.
-I know, man.
-But it bugs me when someone rips off our ideas, our concepts, and people freak out about it, you know, and tell us ours stinks!
-I know, man.
-I mean, screw them, you know? I'm just gonna go right on creating 'cause it comes from here - you know?
-I wonder what his deal is.
-Man that's a trippy name, kinda like the Warhol mayhem series...
-I saw a statue once called The Third Time Phyllis Saw Me She Exploded.
-Now what kind of statue was that?
-There's that weird dude again.
-Man look at that get up !
-Looks like that cat paid off in spades.
-Man if you want to be a legit artist you have to do nudes, nudes, nudes...
-Man this is heavy!
-What did he say?
-Didn't you hear him?
-Man, why do you suppose Walter wants to get her alone? You suppose he could be physically attracted to her?
-No man, he ain't the type. He don't get enough vitamin E.
-That's alright, we got a pressing engagement!
-Walter, what are you doing?
-I was just looking at Carla's picture.
-Well that's not what I pay you for, now is it?
-Well I was uh, just looking...
-Well I brought something, I wanted to show you.
-What is it, your laundry?
-Where'd ya buy that?
-You...made that?
-Dead Cat!
-Dead Cat?
-Yeah.
-You want to buy it, put it in the club?
-Well...why did you put a knife in it?
-I didn't mean to.
-Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll put it in the corner of the alcove. If it sells, we'll split it fifty- fifty. How's that?
-All that is comes through the eye of the artist...
-Alright get a grip on yourself Now since you're here why don't you start early, the kitchen needs cleaning.
-People seem to like my cat.
-Did you hear that Mr. De Santis? Everyone's really crazy about Dead Cat.
-Yes they are, aren't they? Look, why don't you take the rest of the night off, you look tired.
-No, it's Ok...you came in early. Besides, you're creating an incident. When people are applauding they don't order anything.
-Well...
-Look, go home and...work on something. Make another cat.
-I don't have another cat!
-Well make a dog, make a parakeet! I'm sure you'll think of something.
-Go home.
-OK...good night Mr. De Santis!
-H-have a seat?
-I thought I'm not supposed to sit with the customers...
-Now why shouldn't you, Walter? Things are different now...
-Hiya Carla.
-You know what that proves?
-The question is what are you going to make next, Walter? Did you make that dog yet, or that parakeet? How about making something out of the cockroaches in your room?
-Well...why murdered man?
-I don't know, it just happened, I guess. I didn't mean to.
-You didn't mean to what?
-It's hot in here...
-A show?! Like this Sunday?
-A show..how soon can we go?
-You better hold off on the bubbly.
-Yeah, why?
-You might talk too much.
-Hello Leonard! Beautiful morning, isn't it?
-What do you have in the box?
-Whatsamatter Leonard?
-Whatsamatter Leonard?
-Walter...Walter listen carefully. I don't want you to make any more statues. Do you understand? No more statues.
-Well Why not? I gotta make statues Leonard. You heard Maxwell, they want me to make them. I can't go back to being a busboy!
-Maxwell! He's behind all this with all his stupid blowhard poetry! Listen, you've got to stop right away! I'm beginning to feel responsible!
-Well, w-what did you do?
-When Carla comes by I'll talk to her. She'll make up some nice invitations. We'll have them printed up.
-Yeah?
-I tried to contact you by phone but I couldn't...
-I want that cat. I'll pay you one thousand dollars - cash.
-I'm trying to reach Lieutenant Beldere...
-What offers have you got for it? I won't be out-bidded. I'm a wealthy man and I don't mind paying for something I want.
-I can't talk right now.
-What do you want for it? Two thousand? Three thousand?
-No...look I'm busy...
-Listen to me...I don't want to lose this piece -
-I'm holding for Lieutenant Beldere!
-Listen to me, listen to me...I've been collecting art pieces all over the world for years and let me tell you something. This newcomer Walter Paisley has it, whatever it is, the X factor, that indefinable quality that separates the greats from the hacks, and I want that cat in my hands. Are you listening to me?
-How ya doin'?
-Hello, Walter.
-Hi. I know you! I've seen you down at the Jabberjaw plenty.
-Yes, you have. Can I come in?
-I was going to make some pancakes, you can have some if you like.
-Hm.
-Did you see my cat?
-I also saw the girl give you this.
-You like chasing the dragon, Walter?
-Chasing the dragon? Whaddya mean? You sure you don't want a pancake?
-Police officer.
-You're like an undercover guy!
-You're in some deep shit pal, whether you know it or not.
-Huh?!!!
-But I got a feeling you're gonna cooperate with me. Yessir, I think you and me are gonna be real good friends. Why don't you tell me about your connection.
-C-connection?
-I'm not looking to pinch you! I don't care about you, or the girl. But you want to save your ass, you better start telling me what I want to hear. Now!
-Telling you what?
-Who's the head honcho! Who's providing the smack connection!
-Smack?
-Goddammit, where are you from, Mars?
-Alaska! What the heck's wrong with it!
-Haven't you ever heard of smack! Horse! Junk! Heroin!
-Is that what that is? I never seen any before. I always thought that stuff was expensive!
-Who do think you're dealing with, huh? I'm willing to cut you a break, chief!
-You are?
-I- don't know what you're talking about!
-You're coming downtown with me, Walter. You're gonna come clean with me, you're gonna name names or I swear to God I'll see to it personally you rot in a cell upstate! Are we understanding each other?
-Wait a minute! What'd I do?
-I got you cold, pal. Make it easy for yourself, use your head.
-I didn't do nothing wrong! That was Mayolia's! I didn't ask her for it. I don't know about any -
-Yeah yeah yeah - look! I've heard this song and dance before, save your breath, you're coming with me! Lou goes to turn Walter against the wall but Walter springs back -
-Wait a minute - I told you I didn't do nothing wrong!
-Don't give me a hard time Walter! You don't want to get me mad! You're coming with me!
-You're gonna shoot me!
-What are ya, deaf? Turn around!
-NO! NO DON'T SHOOT ME I DON'T WANT TO GET SHOT!
-YOU'RE GONNA SHOOT ME!
-Walter shut up and relax!
-I don't think anyone gets what I said, their blank faces staring, mute, unfeeling -
-I liked it very much Mr. Brock. I liked it very much.
-Well I'm overjoyed.
-I thought you believed that life is a homeless traveler riding on the RTD of -
-I know that - I know that! I also believe in burning the creative candle, you understand, down to the end - to be uncreative you might as well be dead...a walking machine, toiling in a factory!
-Are you done with these?
-I saw your...cat.
-Did you like it Mister Brock?
-Maxwell.
-And what project looms on the horizon, Walter?
-Hi.
-Wheat germ omelette, guava nectar and garbanzo sprinkled with smoked yeast. Join us?
-No thanks. Sounds good though.
-An' everyone will say Walter let me shake your hand...it's a real pleasure to have known you...
-After that we go no more!
-I won't say good luck, Walter.
-Why not?
-Why on Earth should you be so depressed? Have you heard some of the things they've been saying? You can make fifty thousand on these pieces alone!
-I thought you didn't respect money!
-I get it Walter. I get it.
-What do you get?
-Hello Mayolia.
-Walter, you did something to me with your work tonight.
-With Dead Cat. Like a breath of fresh air. I could just - babble on about it for hours.
-It's like...you've turned on.
-T-turned on?
-A hot light bulb is burning inside of you. I want to be warmed by it.
-That's really nice of you Mayolia.
-Let me into your world Walter... let me into that white hot inspired world.
-Well, I'll go home with you.
-I don't think so Mayolia.
-I want to be part of it, I want to inspire you, I want to do - something!
-You don't have to do anything!
-I want you to have it. There's a little something for you in here...
-Gee. Thanks.
-Oh, hello Mrs. Swicker.
-Hello Walter. I want to tell you the super fixed the leaky pipes and sealed up that hole in your wall.
-Oh, OK.
-Walter you look awful pale! What did you have to eat today?
-I had a salami sandwich, Mrs. Swicker.
-If you were my son...why don't you let me fix you a nice hot bowl of soup, it won't take but a minute.
-Uh, no, I didn't see him at all.
-What's got into that cat? Well if you do see him, tell him I've got a nice fat piece of ocean-fresh halibut for him -
-T-tell him that?
-If you see him.
-Good night Walter...
-What's all the noise in here!
-Don't tell me I didn't hear a racket! I'm an older woman and I don't need to be upset and disturbed in this manner!
-I was just straightening up the place.
-Straightening up indeed! Are you sure you're not alone?
-Walter have you been talking to yourself again?
-She doesn't have to be pretty... just as long as she takes good care of you...
-Uh, Mrs. Swicker I got to meet some friends later, and I have to take a shower!
-I will - good night Mrs. Swicker!
-I don't think this is gold.
-What's wrong with you!?!
-My arm! He took my fucking arm!
-You reckless imbecile. This place is ours for the taking and you let yourself... twelve hundred years old and you act like a child.
-I had him in my grasp.
-I look horrible.
-The other two -- the new ones. Where are they?
-I don't know. But the boy, he couldn't kill them.
-I like it. Can I be your friend?
-Well, um... litter?
-... And they're having some memorial service or something tomorrow. You going?
-I don't know. Coach said I had to work on my 'ab's.'
-Whoa! Whoa! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't actually need any right now.
-Nice to feel needed.
-Let's move out!
-Nice game.
-Jeffrey, I don't mean to sound sexist or anything, but can I borrow her?
-Man has a complex.
-Don't grab me, okay?
-Buffy! Looking tasty.
-Buffy, this is crazy. What do these guys want?
-Booo!
-Suck!
-No, we didn't.
-Come on, come on, fork up the scub.
-That's it, man. That's the whole story.
-It's coffee.
-Figures.
-You're the guys from the movie!
-Hey! She wasted my dog!
-Rich bitches. They're a plague. They've gotta be stopped.
-You didn't like them.
-They're all the same! They're so stuck up, they're just... they're not even human. I hate them.
-Would you sleep with them?
-Yes. Definitely. Definitely. Please, God.
-Well, there it is, isn't it? You don't even like them, and you'd sleep with them. What's that all about?
-I got a news flash, man, another shot of this and I'll have sex with you.
-When you get your car together, man, let's bail.
-You think? Split?
-Utterly. Let's bail this town. It's getting... I don't know. Let's go somewhere where there aren't any rich bitches.
-Benny, man, where you been? You bailed on me, I passed out, man, I almost did a Jimi Hendrix!
-Let me in.
-Invite me in, Pike.
-Wait a minute. What's wrong with you, man?
-I'm fine.
-I... feel.... pretty.
-No offense, man, but I think you're on something nasty. Why don't you just go and cool out and I'll see you in the morning or something.
-Let me in, Pike! I'm hungry!
-Get away from here.
-I'm hungry.
-Did you see a girl come by here?
-You don't mean, like, a cheerleader?
-Yes.
-Yeah, I saw her. Bitch took my wheels.
-Wheels?
-My bike! She's a lesbian, too. She told me.
-Which way did she go?
-Excellent.
-Your parents are always going away for the weekend. You're so lucky.
-Yeah, I guess.
-Oh, my God. Is that true?
-Are there any good sicknesses that aren't too depressing?
-Hey, I was thinking, for the dance, what about a big sign that says 'Don't Tread On Me'. You know, and a picture of the earth.
-Dying.
-Hi, Buffy.
-He doesn't look fifty.
-Do you know what time it is?
-Buffy, honey?
-Yeah?
-Have you gained a few pounds? Maybe it's that outfit...
-Maybe.
-What's Bobby gonna say?
-I don't know, Mom; I've never met Bobby.
-You okay?
-Well... it's possible they think my name's Bobby.
-Real 'quality-timers,' Hugh.
-Something like that.
-What show is this?
-It's the news, Buffy.
-Oh. Who's in it? I know what it is. It's what's on instead of the movie.
-I just want to see the basketball scores. It's important.
-Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
-What'd you dream about?
-Nothing.
-Come on, what was it?
-Hey there.
-Are you going out with Jeffrey tonight?
-Hey, baby, how ya doing? You look beat.
-I do? I guess I do.
-Where were you last night? I called your house like four times.
-I can't get sick. You know -- training and all. I'm gonna be late.
-I can take care of myself, Jeffrey.
-So that's your tutor, huh? What is he, like, your boyfriend now?
-Buffy, what are you doing here?
-I thought we were meeting here.
-I don't understand.
-Oh, come on, Buffy. You know what's going on. It's not working out at all. I've got to move on. I mean, I've got needs, too. I told you about all this.
-No, you didn't. When?
-Didn't you get my message?
-You broke up with my machine?
-You weren't home. Like always.
-You left me a message?
-Ah, my fool is dead. He was careless, always. Still, I'll pull out your tongue for that. Don't you understand? I've killed you a dozen times. Your life is not a blink of my eye, not a single breath. I have lived in the shadows, in the pulsing filth behind men's eyes. A thousand years, and more. I have conversed with the worms that
-Have you ever thrown up in the front row of a Richard Marx concert?
-You're even weaker than the others.
-This? This is you only weapon? Your puny faith?
-I am a God! A God!
-Will you guys shut up, please?
-Can we have a hot dog, please, medium rare, and a cup of joe?
-Yeah, we're drunk. We're the Drunks. What's your name?
-Hi.
-Hi there.
-Is that your car?
-How are you doing?
-Oh, I'm good. I'm good. Kind of miss my knees, though.
-You want some water or something?
-Do you do this kind of thing a lot? I mean, is this like a hobby?
-Not exactly.
-They were vampires, weren't they?
-Yeah.
-You had a car full of stuff. Were you leaving?
-Yeah, I was bailing. I have a friend, and he's really... well, he's really vampire, I guess. Bad scene.
-Well, stay here tonight.
-Thanks. Tomorrow morning, I'm on a bus. I'm gone.
-Where are you gonna go?
-Hey, jeez are you okay? You need a hand?
-Things are kind of confusing.
-I'll back that up.
-Three weeks ago all I thought about was... well, I didn't actually think about anything. I definitely didn't expect this.
-I know. My guidance counselor never mentioned anything about vampires. 'Prison' came up a few times, but nothing about undead.
-It's weird. I went back to my old grade school once, to the playground -- I used to hang out there all the time, playing on the swings and stuff... I went back and it was so tiny, the whole place. I couldn't even fit on the swings. Everything just looked so small. I'm sorry. I'm babbling.
-I'm kinda beat. You can stay in my mom's room if you want.
-I think I'll just hang out here. Make sure the sun comes up and everything.
-You sure?
-Oh, I'll be fine. Got my chair, got my window, I'm great.
-Hey, Buffy...
-Yeah?
-I didn't expect to see you.
-I know.
-Why'd you come back?
-I don't know. I kind of thought I ought to be here. You know, this isn't exactly the kind of thing you can run away from.
-Thanks.
-Pike, I don't think you're up to this.
-Buffy? What's wrong?
-Oh, God. It's him. I think it's him.
-Who?
-I been working on some stuff for you. What'cha doing?
-I'm going shopping. Don't try to stop me.
-Cool. I could actually use a couple of Allen wrenches. What do you need?
-A dress.
-Dress, huh? What for?
-For the dance.
-Come again?
-I'm going to the senior dance.
-I'm going to the dance.
-What for?
-In order to dance and to drink punch and to be with my friends. Comprende?
-I don't believe this. The world's under attack by the legions of the undead and you're going to a mixer?
-It's not a mixer. It's the senior dance. And it's important. You wouldn't understand.
-You got that right. I thought you wanted to kill vampires.
-I don't want to kill anybody, and I don't want to talk about it anymore.
-Listen, I know you're bummed about your friend, and I'm really sorry...
-He did what he was supposed to.
-But, Buffy, you're the guy, the chosen guy.
-Right. I'm the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.
-Leave me alone.
-I crashed your party.
-Pretty shallow of you.
-That's me.
-I'm glad you came.
-Will I get the shit kicked out of me if I ask you to dance?
-I'm going out the front.
-Are you nuts, Buffy? There's a hundred of them out there. They'll rip us apart.
-You're staying here. Some of them might not come after me. If they don't this place is gonna turn into a total stain.
-Good thing one of us was prepared.
-Are you okay?
-I didn't say it was a bad idea, I just said the timing was off. We could maybe wait till later.
-Don't be such a fraidy-cat.
-Who's afraid? Besides me, I mean.
-We've come all this way. We just have to check it out. I got a hunch.
-It has to be, like a socially conscious theme.
-It is a pretty crucial subject.
-Bugs.
-Can't. History report. The Normans and the Saxons.
-Bogutude. Blow it off.
-I really can't. Besides, it's pretty interesting.
-You're weird and I'm afraid of you. Seriously, Cassandra, there's a lot cooler things you could be doing than your homework.
-Like what?
-Guys, what's the sitch? I'm bored.
-) What do you think?
-What are we doing?
-Why don't we see a movie?
-Beverly Center.
-Totally stale. And the ushers are like, the acne patrol. We're thinking Pavilion. Sitch?
-Excuse much! Not rude or anything.
-What did Jeffrey's dad say?
-Let's meet tonight, okay?
-Where?
-I don't see why we have to invite everyone.
-I didn't learn... I just... it's not a big deal.
-Buffy, I'm gonna tell Jeffrey you were playing with another man's Hebrew National.
-You were supposed to be here at three.
-I forgot.
-Buffy, what is your sitch? You're acting like The Thing From Another Tax-Bracket; it's too weird.
-Look, a lot's been going on. That's what I wanted to tell you guys about. I need to tell you. You see... a while ago, I met this guy --
-Excuse me for having something important to do.
-This isn't important? The earth is our home.
-Listen to you. What language are you speaking?
-I'm glad you guys are here. It's good to see you.
-Yeah, whoops I came.
-You look way pretty, Kim.
-God, where the hell did you come from? You scared me to death.
-What? Oh. I used to do gymnastics. Are you looking for someone?
-I'm looking for you, actually.
-Am I in trouble or something?
-Not at all. My name is Merrick. I was sent to find you some time ago. I should have found you much sooner but there were... complications. You should have been taught, prepared.
-What are you talking about?
-I've searched the entire world for you, Buffy.
-Why?
-To bring you... your birthright.
-I had a trust fund my great- grandfather, or maybe it was an inheritance, 'cause he's dead, and I spent it on shoes.
-You must come with me. It's much too late already. You must come with me to the graveyard.
-Wait a minute. My birthright is in the graveyard? Later not.
-Wait!
-You're one of those skanky old men that, like, attack girls and stuff. Forget you. My, um, my boyfriend is gonna be here in about thirty seconds, and he's way testy.
-You don't understand. You have been chosen.
-Chosen to go to the graveyard? Why don't you just take the first runner up, okay?
-You must believe me. You must come with me while there's still time.
-Time to do what?
-To stop the killing. To stop the vampires.
-Let me get this straight. You're like, this greasy bum, and I have to go to the graveyard with you 'cause I'm chosen, and there's vampires.
-Yes.
-Does Elvis talk to you? Tell you to do things? Do you see spots?
-Just stay away from me, okay?
-Everybody does.
-I was a slave.
-In Virginia.
-I don't know. It was... There was a big gram or something. And there's one, I'm like a prostitute...
-China.
-I had a dream once where I was... There was like, knights in it, and I worked in this bar. And I... was fighting. I'm always fighting. And there's a guy... He's not always there, but he's horrible, all white, and he's always... trying to kill me.
-How do you know all this?
-I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm in a graveyard with a strange man hunting for vampires on a school night.
-Why didn't you ever tell anybody about your dreams?
-Ow.
-Cramps?
-None of your business. God.
-Wait a minute.
-Just for protection. You won't have to do anything. I just need you to watch.
-All right. What do we do now?
-Where's the other one?
-Go to school tomorrow. Try to act normal. Don't let anyone know what's happening. This is important. When the vampires find out who you are... you won't be hunting them anymore.
-Meet me at this address after school.
-I have cheerleading squad.
-They can't come in, right? Unless you invite them. Is that true?
-It's not pretty, but it does suit our purposes.
-What, um... What do we do?
-There's a great deal I have to show you, I'm not even sure where to start There's so little time.
-Why do you keep saying that?
-Do you know what a Vampire-King is?
-A Vampire-King? You mean like Dracula?
-Oh, yes. And the man from your dreams. Lothos.
-Oh, him.
-Yes. They travel about, usually with one or two of their followers to lay the groundwork. The vampires find a community and they feed on it, make it their own. You were difficult to trace, and I think the process has gone a lot further than I'd anticipated. Usually this goads a community into some kind of paranoid frenzy. But for some reason, nobody
-What?
-We'll cover it later.
-I still don't get how they happened to come to my town. I mean, was I born here because... because they were coming here? That Lothos guy, and his buddies?
-In a way, yes. Your fate is inexorably connected to them.
-Great. First I have a birthright, now I've got a fate. Hey, do I have to take notes on this?
-Not a pressing issue.
-I tell you, the best thing I can do right now is find out more about you. What your strengths are, your likes... Everything. What's your best subject?
-Uh... gym.
-Yes, you used to do gymnastics. But you stopped. Why?
-Well, everybody says... it's just kind of dorky. I mean, have you ever seen a gymnast's legs? They're like -- -- the mighty oak. It's not a look.
-But you enjoyed it, yes?
-Well... I do cheerleading now. It's way cooler.
-Cheerleading. For... sporting events, yes?
-Sporting events, yeah.
-All right. Why don't you show me a cheer?
-Here?
-Yes, yes. It would be interesting. A nice cheer.
-Who we gonna beat?
-Who we gonna beat?
-No -- you don't have to --
-Oh. I thought... you lead me --
-No. You don't do anything. I do it.
-Oh, what the hell is wrong with you? You threw a knife at my head!
-I had to test you.
-But you threw a knife at my head!
-And you caught it! Only the chosen one could have done that.
-It was necessary.
-Last night. You knew I was sitting on a fresh grave, didn't you?
-Oh. Sorry.
-Don't you see what's happening? You're changing. You've got powers you've only just begun to tap. Physical, mental prowess you've never dreamed of. God, this hurts. I've administered a few shocks to your system to start the adrenaline working. I'm sorry I have to take so many shortcuts in the training process.
-Put your head back.
-Two days ago, would you have even hit me? Let alone so powerfully?
-No... I guess I would have gotten Jeffrey to hit you.
-Ooh, another embarrassment for the teabag, while the chosen one is still well under par.
-What about bats? Do they turn into bats?
-No. No bats, no flying. They... float, occasionally. Not really flying.
-Toasty. Were there ever any, like, famous vampires?
-Oh, several. Lucretia Borgia, Joseph Mengele, Franklin Pangborn... are any of those names familiar?
-If I say 'no' does that make me a bad person?
-Good Lord. What do you study in history?
-All right. You've heard of the emperor Caligula, perhaps? Or Jack the Ripper?
-They were vampires?
-Same one.
-What!?!
-He was slow. Very simple. They won't all be that easy.
-Fine.
-And the alley was a mistake. Never corner yourself like that. If they'd come at you in force you'd be dead now. One vampire is a lot easier to kill then ten.
-Does the world 'Duhh' mean anything to you?
-Nice conversationalist! Yeah, I felt 'em a little, but I ain't due for two weeks since you're so excited about the subject.
-It's natural. A reaction to their presence, to the... unnaturalness of it. It's part of how you are able to track them.
-Oh, wonderful. My secret weapon is - PMS. That's just great. Thanks for telling me.
-You'll get used to it. I'm more worried about your tactical mistakes.
-You are such a wet.
-A what?
-A wet! Didn't I just kill that vampire? I think I did. I didn't see you killing any vampires. You were too busy playing 'Beat the Clock'.
-Don't start with me again.
-Aren't I, like the chosen one? The one and only? The Grand High Poobah and doesn't that mean you have to be nice to me? Like, ever?
-Buffy...
-And why are you always wearing black? It's so down. It's totally not your color. I don't think you have a color.
-What do you want? Encouragement? 'Gosh, Buffy, you're so special, I just want to give you a great big hug, oh I'm just having a warm fuzzy.'
-Do you know how many girls I've trained to be Slayers? Five. Five properly prepared girls, girls who faced their responsibilities, who worked hard to become women overnight -- harder than you've ever worked in your life -- and I saw them ripped apart. Do you want to live? Do you?
-I...
-Five?
-Five.
-So, basically, I've got the life expectancy of a zit, right?
-Not if you're careful.
-How can you keep doing this?
-It's what I was raised to do. There aren't many of us left, the Watchers.
-Watchers?
-There's a small village in Hampshire, near Stonehenge... ... near a bunch of big rocks. That's where I was born. My father taught me about the training, about finding the Slayers, reading the signs. There's a small cluster of us, a few families, really... most of the neighboring villagers think we're just a bunch of harmless old loonies. I thought so myself for a
-I wish you would.
-It isn't important.
-I'm curious, is all.
-Buffy, don't... don't start thinking of me as your friend. It interferes with the work, and it...
-Well, you know, I'm not gonna kick so easy. I've got a few things the other girls didn't have.
-As for example, what?
-Well... there's my keen fashion sense, for one.
-Vampires of the world, beware.
-I mean, most of the time Jeffrey's really sweet, but sometimes he gets kind of... 'Me-Tarzan'ish, you know what I mean? Lately it bugs me, I guess. Merrick? Are you still breathing?
-I can't work this.
-We call them zippers. They're not supposed to be a challenge.
-But it's in the back. Why are we wasting time with this, anyway?
-Because you clash, Merrick. You clash with everything. I mean you might as well go around with a sign, 'Slayers trained her.' Honestly, you look like something out of... Pasadena.
-My clothes have always been perfectly serviceable.
-I want to die.
-Interesting.
-There isn't time.
-Make time, okay? You're the one who told me to act normal. I've missed three practices already. If I'm not there for the Barber game tomorrow everyone's gonna talk.
-Another distraction. It's not right.
-Why because it's not my fate? It's not in the Book-of-All- Knowledgefullness that I'm gonna be cheerleading at the Barber game?
-Sooner or later you're going to have to accept it. Your fate.
-I'm pretty much learning not to accept anything anymore. Come on, Merrick. Football. Afterwards we can kill and kill until there is nothing left.
-All right.
-Toasty. You should come; it's gonna be a great game.
-Oh, I'll be there all right. I'm not letting you out of my sight. Not till you're ready.
-Try and be inconspicuous, okay? Act like a fan.
-Football is my life.
-None of the other girls ever gave me this much trouble.
-Wait!
-Mr. Howard is so heinous. He's always giving me a hard time. I get a C-plus on the test and he tells me, 'You have no sense of history.' I have no sense of history? He wears a brown tie.
-You got a C-plus? I can't believe I cheated off you.
-No THX.
-So, is Jeffrey really spending the night at your house?
-That's the plan.
-Cool. We can figure decorations and stuff.
-Come one, that was so weird.
--- like she's gonna kill me.
-I was just scared is all.
-That is so cool.
-Thank you very much.
-I don't get it.
-You guys blow. I'm waiting on Cassandra. She's gonna help me with my history.
-Cassandra's really smart.
-Yeah... She's okay, though.
-Don't worry, Jennifer. Someday your prince will come.
-Yeah, just make sure you do first. Let's go, guys.
-Hey, Buffers. You look thrashed.
-Thanks.
-Buffy, Jesus! You know these steps.
-Pike.
-Well, I guess you got what you came for.
-Nicole...
-Hi, guys.
-Hi.
-I haven't seen him tonight.
-I find it restorative, sleeping in the life-blood of so many. To feel their souls coursing about me.
-What's happening? What do you want?
-So very much.
-My parents have money...
-What... are you?
-No, wait. I can be dumb. Really. Or mean, or whatever. I can learn. I'm useful.
-Really?
-I can't!
-You know you must. There is only one. Now you are that one. It is time.
-Why? Why me?
-The mark of the Coven.
-I don't understand.
-But as long as there have been vampire, there has been the Coven; the line of Slayers. Ones with the strength and the skill to kill them, to find them where they gather and stop the swell of their numbers. One dies, the next is called.
-I'm just a girl.
-Bessel! What are you doing here?
-Hi, Grueller.
-What are you grinning at? You think I was scared?
-Could be.
-You think so?
-Listen, you little worm. I could beat your head to a pulp for you, just like I did last year, you got that? You got that?
-Got that.
-Write that down.
-Oh, yes! Yes!
-Oh, baby!
-Buffy?
-Well, I'm done. Are you done?
-No --
-Okay, let's go.
-She didn't even hardly talk to anyone in school. All year. She didn't even go to the prom.
-I can't believe they still ate it.
-So they found Cassandra's body out by the railway tunnels. Nobody's saying anything, but they think she was involved in something, like, illegal or something. Like dealing.
-Well, I hope so.
-I got all the plastic stuff. What should I do with it?
-And Spring Fling.
-She was even crazier after that. I mean it, you wouldn't even have recognized her.
-Omniplex?
-What happened?
-Buffy was on the uneven parallels -- she was really good; coach said she could have been in the Olympics -- but she was doing a routine, spinning, and the beam broke.
-You're kidding.
-Snapped. Buffy was, you know, on the upswing, and I swear to God she went across the room. Perm over heels.
-Oh, my God! Ouch! No wonder you quit.
-I never thought of that.
-Buffy!
-Cool!
-The don't. You kind of wish they would, though.
-Wit-tay.
-I'm sorry. I'm Pike. This is Benny.
-Pike isn't a name. It's a fish.
-They'll kill us!
-Oh, God.
-God! Take a chill lozenge.
-The homelesses?
-Environment. That's cool with me.
-Oh, yeah!
-If we don't invite all the seniors we can't use the school funds, you know that.
-Can't they make exceptions? Maryanne Heinel? She's such a scud. Can't we have a Maryanne clause?
-Smell of booze much.
-Buffy, the ape-woman.
-I really was way way too too.
-Oh, please! When she ran onto the field in the middle of the game? Was that the most out-of-it thing ever, or did I blink?
-What are you talking about?
-Oh, thank you very much.
-Like you've got a grip.
-So, we're stupid now?
-You know, just because you're having full-on wiggans doesn't mean you have to drag us into it. This isn't just any dance. It happens ot be the last dance of our last year.
-Except for Prom.
-And the January Semi-formal --
-It's amazing what you can do with a parachute and some starch.
-What nasty bug crawled up your bungus and where the hell are you going?
-I'm leaving, man. I'm bailing town. This place has gotten way too hairy.
-Where am I gonna find another mechanic stupid enough to work for my money?
-Hey, have you seen Benny lately?
-No... You want me to give him a message?
-Ah, you'll be coming back.
-I don't think so.
-All right. Take care of yourself.
-I am.
-Hey. What should I do if I see Benny?
-You mean Nuke. You said "Crash".
-I didn't say "Crash". I said Nuke.
-You said "Crash".
-Honey, don't ever listen to a woman when she's making love. They'll say the strangest things.
-You said "Crash".
-Yeah maybe you're right.
-Mmm, hmmm. You shoulda seen how many people came to the airport to see me off. When I got drafted first it was the happiest day of my Father's life. He likes baseball more than I do...
-You can learn to like it.
-I wanted to be the host of Dance Fever, somethin' like that...
-Y'know if you make it to the Bigs you could still become the host of Dance Fever. Baseball's a good stepping stone for things like that.
-God, I never thought of that.
-I want you to wear these on the road trip when you pitch.
-What?
-They'll fit snugly against your balls in such a wonderful way that you'll start seeing things differently--plus they'll remind you of me which is better than thinking about those nasty hitters.
-Jesus, Annie, I don't know--
-You've been pitching out of the wrong side of your brain. These'll help move things to the right side.
-Big League pitchers don't use these.
-God I'm tired. What a trip I was lousy. I was worse than lousy. Everytime I pitched--it was like throwing gasoline on a fire. Kaboom. I--
-What is this "I, I, I" stuff? You only talk about yourself? Aren't you glad to see me? Don't I look nice?
-Sorry. You look great. I'm totally exhausted.
-Good. Total exhaustion can be spiritually fabulous. Let's play catch.
-This in ridiculous. I'm a pro.
-Just do what I say. Now, which nostril are you breathing through?
-The right nostril. Good.
-My right nostril?
-The ida originates at the right testicle and terminates at the left nostril.
-I'm really beat. I need some serious "z's"--
-The pingala is the nostril used for throwing a baseball. And if you discover before a game you're in the wrong nostril, it's easy to switch.
-Switch nostrils?
-You're patronizing me! I will not be patronized--
-If I throw too hard I'll hurt the kid.
-How was that?
-A little better.
-How ya like that?
-I can't keep up with you. First you say sex is gonna make me a better pitcher--now no sex is gonna do it?!
-God...I think I'm gonna be sick--
-Death is like spring training?
-I'm yours.
-Y'know, Annie, I been thinking if it works for one game, maybe it'll work for a whole buncha games.
-Breathing through your pingala always works, honey--
-Not that. I mean the re-channeling of my sexual energy. Maybe we shouldn't make love for awhile.
-You know what it feels like to throw a three hitter? We better not fuck.
-Nuke?!
-Just till I lose.
-Get over here.
-No.
-I'm so proud of you and all the guys. Want some more soup?
-No, no, it was great.
-How 'bout a back rub?
-No, that's okay. All I need's a little nap.
-I'll tuck you in.
-You can't seduce me.
-That's my leg.
-I know what it is.
-Fundamentals?
-Crash once called a woman's, uh-- pussy--y'know how the hair kinda makes a "V" shape?--
-Yes I do...
-Well--he calls it the Bermuda Triangle. He said a man can get lost in there and never be heard from again.
-What a nasty thing to say.
-He didn't mean it nasty. He said that gettin' lost and disappearing from the face of the earth was sometimes a good thing to do-- especially like that.
-No! You're playing with my mind!
-I'm trying to play with your body!
-I knew it--you're seducing me!
-Of course I'm seducing you for Godsakes, and I'm doing a damn poor job of it-- Aren't I pretty?
-I think you're real cute.
-Cute?! I hate cute! Baby ducks are cute! I wanta be exotic and mysterious!
-Nuke! You got things all wrong! There's no relation between sex and baseball. Ask Crash.
-I did.
-What'd he say?
-He said if I gave in to you I'd start losing again.
-He did?
-We lost.
-I'd like you to meet my father.
-I couldn't dump my old man but maybe later I can sneak away from him...
-You don't have to...
-I'm starting to understand what you're teaching me. I mean the panties and the nostrils and all that shit...I mean I'm getting it--
-Aw hell, let's have a quickie right here--
---but you're father's in there!
-It's Skip, for you.
-I gotta leave first thing in the morning.
-That's great!
-Well I guess this is it.
-Neither will I.
-I think I'm ready for the Show.
-Ebby Calvin Nuke LaLoosh--don't think too much.
---Millie, you've got to stay out of the clubhouse. It'll just get everybody in trouble.
-I got lured.
-You didn't get "lured". Women never get lured. They're too strong and powerful for that. Now say it--"I didn't get lured and I will take responsibility for my actions".
-"I didn't get lured and I will take responsibility for my actions".
-Well let's get down to it, honey-- how was he?
-Omigawd, honey, I'm so happy for you.
-You should be at the game.
-Five hours. We both just know. Do you think I deserve to wear white?
-I'm Crash Davis.
-Annie Savoy. Wanta dance?
-I don't dance.
-She's dancing with me.
-Crash, I didn't think you--
-These are the ground rules. I hook up with one guy a season-- I mean it takes me a couple of weeks to pick the guy--kinda my own spring training... And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far. So... I thought we should get to know each other.
-Why do you get to choose? Why don't I get to choose?
-After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't tryout. Besides-- I don't believe in, Quantum Physics when it comes to matters of the heart...or loins.
-I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, long foreplay, show tunes, and that the novels of Thomas Pynchon are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe that there oughtta be a constitutional amendment outlawing astro-turf and the designated hitter, I believe in
-Oh my... Don't leave...
-Wait, Crash--don't go--all I want is a date. I'm not gonna fall in love with you or nothin'.
-I'm not interested in a woman who's interested in that boy.
-See my hips?
-Yep.
-I think Thomas Pynchon's a genius.
-When you're hitting you shouldn't think about anything but hitting. But you shouldn't think about it too much. The trick is to use your brain to not use your brain.
-But you were pulling your hips last night.
-I'm committed to Nuke for the season. You had your chance the other night.
-What'you see in that guy--he's dim, pretty boy. a young, wild,
-Young men are uncomplicated. And he's not "dim". He's just inexperienced. My job is to give him "life-wisdom" and help him make it to the major leagues.
-Damn.
-You're pulling your hips out.
-Don't tell anybody.
-Why not? If you hit twenty homers this year you'll be the all time minor league champ! The record's
-247 home runs in the minors would be a dubious honor, if ya think about it.
-Oh no, I think it'd be great! The Sporting News should know about it.
-Damn.
-Your place or mine?
-Despite my love of weird metaphysics and my rejection of most Judao-Christian ethics, I am, within the framework of a baseball season, monogamous.
-Well, Annie, your place or mine?
-You got me all confused.
-A batter has two tenths of a second to decide whether to swing--
-Crash...I want you.
-Nuke won't go to bed with you, eh?
-He' s confused--
-Aren't we all?
-You're gorgeous, God damn it! From the moment I first saw you I knew I had to have you. I had to have you!
-I want to be had.
-I think of you and the "boy" all the time.
-He won't make love to me anymore.
-And he's right! A ballplayer on a streak has to respect the streak. They don't happen very often. You know how hard this game is? If you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid or because you're not getting laid or because you wore red silk panties--then you are! And I still think Thomas Pynchon is full of shit.
-Who are you? Do you have a job?
-I teach part time at the Junior College. What if I told you I was through with Nuke? He learned his lessons quickly and left me.
-And now you wanta teach me?
-I don't imagine there's much I could teach you.
-I doubt that.
-Crash, I get wet just thinking about you.
-I thought you wanted an "uncomplicated" boy?
-I'm ready for a complicated man.
---and as soon as we lose a game, he'll be back in your arms.
-I said when I think about you, I get wet.
-God damn you--what is happening? Is there no man who'll have me? This is the weirdest season I ever saw--the Durham Bulls can't lose and I can't get laid!
-Why baseball?
-I crossed the street--it was the New York Yankees spring training field--tok, tok, tok, was the sound of a ball hitting a bat-- and I sat in the warm bleachers to think about my mother... And I saw him.
-Who?
-Thurman Munson. He was covered with dirt and he was fighting with everybody--it was beautiful ... And he called the ump a cocksucker and got thrown out of the game even though it was an exhibition! So I stayed in the bleachers all spring and gradually came to understand what's so great about baseball.
-What's so great about baseball?
-I don't know if I'd go that far.
-It's true, It's true! Least it used to be true. It ain't possible that baseball's not enough anymore, is it, Crash?
-It's possible.
-No.
-Are you gonna be waking up next to 20 year old ballplayers when you're 60?
-Well...I used to think that wasn't the worst thing in the world to look forward to. Lately I'm not so sure.
-Why not?
-I got released.
-... so you see in a former lifetime I'm sure that I was Alexandria, the Czarette of Russia? What do you think?
-How come in former lifetimes, everybody was someone famous? How come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?
-What happened?
-I'm quitting too. Boys, not baseball.
-There might be an opening for a manager at Salem next spring.
-Salem, Massachusetts? Where all the witches were?
-Yeah...you a witch?
-You think I could make it to the Show as a manager?
-You'd be great, just great... 'Cause you understand non-linear thinking even though it seems like baseball is a linear game 'cause of the lines and the box scores an' all--but the fact is that there's a spacious-"non-time kind of time" to it...
-Annie---
-What?
-I got a lotta time to hear your theories and I wanta hear every damn one of 'em...but right now I'm tired and I don't wanta think about baseball and I don't wanta think about Quantum Physics... I don't wanta think about nothing... I just wanta be.
-Number twenty-two's thighs are just great. Who's he?
-Jose Galindo. He hit .314 at Lynchburg last year.
-Ninety-five miles an hour.
-Take this to Ebby in the dugout between innings.
-What's it say?
-Oh dear....easy honey...
-Hum, babe, hum, babe, fire it in here, hum babe--
-Ninety-three miles an hour.
-Oh no--he's shaking off the sign, Jackson. Big mistake...
-Ebby's told me a lot about you.
-He's a good student.
-We were worried that Ebby might get involved with the wrong crowd in professional baseball--we're so pleased, he met a Christian woman.
-Let's have a quick word of prayer, right here, to thank the Lord for all this--
-God bless you.
-Thanks for the note--you're right, I wasn't bending my back.
-Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.
-You need a nickname.
-Well--you boys stopped fighting yet? Are you pals now? Good. I love a little macho male bonding-- I think it's sweet even if it's probably latent homosexuality being "re-channeled" but I believe in "re-channeling" so who cares, right? Shall we go to my place?
-Which one of us?
-Is somebody gonna go to bed with somebody or what?
-No ballplayer ever said "no" to a date with me.
-No, no, no. Put it back on and take it off slowly.
-Jesus, what kinda broad are you?
-No, no, honey... first the shoes and socks.
-The socks? It's cold in here.
-Sweetie, have you ever heard of Walt Whitman?
-Who's he play for?
-Well, he sort of pitches for the Cosmic All-Stars.
-Good--then listen. "I sing the body electric. The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them--"
-We gonna fuck or what?
-What's that?
-Chicken bone cross take the curse off this bat and bring me hits.
-You a God damn witch?
-Yes. A switch hitting witch. Very common in Puerto Rico.
-Will that work for me?
-If you believe in Voodoo.
-No, that is not belief. That is desperation.
-I got him on the knee!
-You missed him!
-Don't bump me.
-It was a cocksucking call!
-Did you call me a cocksucker?
-No! I said It was a cock-sucking call and you can't run me for that!
-You missed the tag!
-You spit on me!
-I didn't spit on you!
-You're in the wrong business, Jack--you're Sears-Roebuck material!
-You're close, Crash, you want me to run you? I'll run you!
-You want me to call you a cocksucker?!
-Try it! Go ahead. Call me a cocksucker!
-Beg me!
-Call me a cocksucker and you're outta here!
-Beg me again!
-Call me a cocksucker and you're outta here!
-You're a cocksucker!
-Hey! What're you guys doing here-- stealing my girl?
-Drive off your back leg. You pitch with your legs as much as your arms-
-I thought I was--
-Fun? What's he know about fun? Why's he calling for a curveball? I wanta bring heat.
-Why you shaking me off?
-I wanta throw the heater to announce my presence with authority.
-"To announce your fucking presence with authority"? This guy's a first ball fastball hitter. He's looking for heat.
-But he ain't seen my heat--
-Fastball.
-Guy hit the shit outta that one, eh?
-Well, I held it like an egg.
-An' he scrambled the son of a bitch. Having fun yet?
-I'm having a blast. God, that sucker teed off on it just like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball.
-He did know.
-How?
-Oh she may get wooly, women do get wooly, because of all the stress...
-How come you don't like me?
-'Cause you don't respect yourself, which is your problem, but you don't respect the game--and that's my problem. You got a gift.
-What do I got?
-You got a Hall of Fame arm but you're pissing it away.
-I ain't pissing nothing away--I got a Porsche already. A 944 with A.C. and a quadraphonic Blaupunkt.
-You don't need a quadraphonic Blaupunkt--you need a curve ball. In the Show, everybody can hit the fastball.
-You been in the Majors?
-You could be one of those guys-- but you don't give a fuck, Meat.
-This is from Tony for the rainout. C'mon, man, let's go to the party.
-Naw...
-"Naw"? There's ice skaters coming! You ever made love to an ice skater?
-By the dozen. Holiday on Ice, Ice Capades, Ice Follies-- I'm through with one night stands.
-You're through with one night stands?! What do you want?
-You're weird, man--I want a ice skater real bad.
-Go for it.
-If I get laid, you won't tell Annie?
-Party without me.
-Can I ask you something?
-What?
-What would you think of a pitcher who wore women's panties?
-I was playing naked.
-Annie says her panties will keep one side of my brain occupied while I'm on the mound, thus keeping my brain slightly off center, which is where it should be for artists and pitchers. She also said I should throw whatever pitches you call for.
-I was great, eh?
-Your fastball was up and your curveball was hanging--in the Show they woulda ripped you.
-Can't you let me enjoy the moment?
-Hey, I'm cruisin', man--what're you doing out here?!
-I want you to throw this one at the bat rack.
-Why?! I'm finally throwin' the damn thing where I want to.
-It'll keep the fear of God in the hitters. Trust me.
-You told him I was throwing a deuce, right?
-I love winning, Crash, you hear me? I love It. Teach me everything.
-It's time you started working on your interviews.
-What do I gotta do?
-Write this down. "We gotta play 'em one day at a time."
-Boring.
-Of course. That's the point. "I'm just happy to be here and hope I can help the ballclub."
-Jesus.
-"...Good Lord willing, things'll work out."
-She's getting steamed 'cause I'm still re-channeling my sexual energy--maybe I should cave in and sleep with her once just to calm her down. What'ya think?
-What's wrong?
-Anybody says anything bad about Millie, I'll break his neck.
-Club's expanding its roster to finish the season--
-I'm going to the Show.
-I'm trying to thank you.
-Settle what?
-C ' mon!
-I don't wanta fight you, I wanta thank you. Let's have a drink and forget this--
-C'mon, we got nothin' to fight about.
-You fuck!
-Why am I a fuck?
-Why are you a fuck? 'Cause you got talent. I got brains. But you got talent! You're God damn left arm is worth a million dollars a year. All my limbs put together are worth 7 cents a pound--and that's for science and dog meat.
-You're a great catcher.
-Come over here into the light so I can kick your ass.
-No.
-I'll take you back to the hotel.
-Nuke...tell me something. Did you hit me with your right or your left?
-Good. Good. That's terrific...
-What?
-Sorry about last night.
-Forget it.
-I have been known, on occasion, to howl at the moon. D'you understand that?
-No.
-You will. Look, Nuke--these Big League hitters are gonna light you up like a pin ball machine for awhile-- don't worry about it. Be cocky and arrogant even when you're getting beat. That's the secret. You gotta play this game with fear and arrogance.
-Fear and ignorance.
-No. Fear and arrogance, you, hayseed, not ignorance!
-Well, I got Annie all warmed up for ya... She's just waiting for you to show up, y'know...
-I don't need a crazy woman in my life.
-It's the best, Nuke...the absolute fucking best.
-Nuke-- Good luck.
-Crash Davis?
-I'm too old for this shit. Why the hell am I back in "A" ball?
-We want you to room with him on the road and stay on his case all year. He can go all the way.
-And where can I go?
-I don't know. I haven't caught anything yet.
-Yeah, Skip, you wanted to see me?
-Step outside, pal.
-I don't believe in fighting.
-Pussy.
-Take the first shot at me.
-I ain't hitting a man first.
-I'd kill ya.
-From what I hear you couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a slingshot
-Don't try me.
-Throw it. C'mon, right in the chest.
-No way.
-We fight, she gets the clown-- how's that happen?
-Shut up--I like this song... April in Paris, this is a feeling, No one can ever reprieve...
-She's playing with my mind.
-Who you calling a "boy"?
-I gotta go now, Dad.
-I was thinking I could fly up and spend a week in the Big Leagues with you--help you get comfortable.
-No. If I screw up, I wanta do it alone. I'll call.
-We'll be praying for you.
-Dad--if my curveball is hanging, God ain't gonna help me.
-We'll pray anyway.
-Hi, Jimmy. Want a ride?
-Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
-No.
-Can I give you my testimony?
-Well tell 'em, honey.
-Where's Ebby?
-Ain't he warning up?
-No. The guy's professional debut and he forgets about it.
-Little high.
-He walked eighteen?!
-It's a league record.
-Struck out eighteen...
-Ohyeah. I shoulda throwed a slider. Damn, Crash, how're ya?
-He's got a million dollar arm and a five cent head.
---we had the gun on him tonight-- the last five pitches he threw were faster than the first five. 96 miles an hour, 98, 97, 97. 97. He's got the best young arm I've seen in 30 years.
-But he ain't quite sure which plane he's on, y'know what I mean...
-Sears sucks, Crash, I tried it once. Sold Lady Kenmores--it's nasty, nasty work.
-You guys lollygag the ball around the infield, ya lollygag you're- way to first, ya lollygag in an' outta the dugout. You know what that makes ya Lollygaggers. What's our record, Larry?
-We're eight and sixteen.
-Eight and twenty-four.
-Eight and twenty-four! How'd we ever win 8 games?
-It's a miracle.
-Patkin was a tribute to baseball...
-Jesus--what's got into Nuke?
-I heard he's wearing women's underwear--and he's breathing through his pingala nostril.
-Nuke's overthrowing tonight, he don't look loose. Anything bothering him?
-He said his chakras were jammed and he was breathing out of the wrong nostril.
-What the hell's going on out there?
-It's a damn convention.
-The organization wants to make a change...now that Nuke's gone they wanta bring up some young catcher...
-Some kid hittin' .300 in Lynchburg ...probably a bust.
-What'you want, kid?
-Jim looking for somebody.
-Who ain't?
-Looking for Crash Davis.
-Ain't here.
-I'm Nuke LaLoosh. With the Bulls.
-Crash ain't there. He never gets back till four or five--
-Where does he go?
-Well, I'd rather not say.
-Goddamn, that's great! Jesus! Listen, Crash don't like anybody to know it but-- Most nights he goes down to, you know, down to Niggertown. To Sandy's... the whorehouse.
-He goes to a whorehouse every night?
-Thank you.
-I mean, the guy is history as far as I'm concerned. History.
-But you can't just fire him. Webb's his brother-in-law. He's County Commissioner.
-So what? Everybody out here with cowboy boots is a fuckin' county commissioner or related to a county commissioner. I'm fuckin' sick of it.
-This is his state. His uncle's Chief Judge. His brother-in-law runs the County Commission. I don't know how many other relatives he's got in town. There's gotta be a way to work him back in.
-Look at yours.
-What?
-Look at that. Look at this. There's nothin'... look how many blueberries your muffin has and how many mine has. Yours is falling apart. I have nothing.
-What are you talking about?
-...was gonna stop what came up next at the casino.
-It turned out Phil Green, Mr Integrity, had a partner nobody knew about... and when she showed up and started demanding some money from the Tangiers...
-I'm a little in shock, quite frankly...
-Hi, Ace.
-Hey, I need a room. Need a room.
-I was never - I was never your guest at the Tangiers.
-You were never my guest?!
-That's right.
-I never comped you?! I don't comp you at least two or three times a month at the Tangiers?!
-Uh, I - I'd... I'd like to answer - answer that at this time.
-Liar.
-Mr Rothstein is being very typical to this point.
-The only time I was at the Tangiers was when I had dinner with Barney Greenstein.
-Was I at that dinner? Just tell me -
-You were wandering around.
-Was I at that dinner?
-You were wandering around.
-Was I at that dinner?
-You were wandering around.
-Was I at that dinner?
-You were in the m- You were in the building.
-You know damn well I was at that dinner, and you swore to me that I would have a fair hearing at that dinner! Did you not?! Did you not?! Well, tell me I was at least at the dinner! A-allow me that much. Give me that much at least!
-As far as the world was concerned Andy Stone, the head of the Teamsters' Pension Fund, was a legitimate guy.
-This is a very auspicious occasion.
-A powerful man.
-He even played golf with the President.
-On behalf of the Teamsters' Pension Fund, it is my pleasure to present to you . . .
-But Andy also took orders. And when he was told to give a pension fund loan to Philip Green...
-You don't have to have a license to work in a casino. All you gotta do is apply for one. The state law says you can work in a casino while they're processing your application. They got a ten-year backlog.
-But what happens when they do find out?
-Why would they want to find out? We're puttin' a hundred million into this desert here. Why would they want to lock us out? And besides, they'll never find out. All you gotta do is keep changing your job title. Like, uh, from Casino Executive to Food and Beverage Chairman. And what happens it, they take your application, they put it at the bottom
-It's a tough proposition, Andy. You, you know, if I did it, I'd have to run it my way.
-You got it.
-I'm serious. No interference.
-He's on all night, screamin' about how he's gonna take his damn lawsuit all the way to the Supreme Court. He really must be crazy. He's gonna go to Washington with this? He's out of his fuckin' mind.
-First of all, what they did was totally unconstitutional. We're already on the list to be heard before the Supreme Court of the United States later this year.
-These guys back home don't give a fuck about the Supreme Court and any of this bullshit! They want things to quiet down. They want you to walk away from -
-Walk away? Andy, you can't be serious. How can I walk away? Don't you see what's goin' on here? Don't you see what's at stake?
-The old man said, 'Maybe your friend should give in.' And when the old man says 'maybe', that's like a papal bull. Not only should you quit, you should run!
-Know what my problem is? Every time they mention my name in the papers, these cocksuckers, they mention Nicky, too. How the fuck does that help? I mean, the heat he brought down is murder! We had a police department who was cooperative. He's pissed them off so much now that nobody can make a move anymore. I mean, what do you do about
-What do you propose?
-I don't know, he doesn't listen to me. Maybe he should... get lost for a while. Take a vacation. Would that be so bad?
-They ain't sendin' Nicky nowhere.
-All right, look, if he took a break, it would just give everybody some time to maneuver. That's all I'm saying. It's all that I'm saying.
-I would forget about the maneuver. I would just get out.
-Even after a little vacation, they hassled him at the airport.
-Excuse me.
-...stupid things.
-Watch it, partner, watch it!
-...been right, but who knows?
-No, you're not calm.
-Yeah, I don't want her in there more than a few more minutes.
-No, it's - it'll just be a couple of minutes. We got other things to do too, you know. He'll hurry her up. How's everything else besides this?
-Fine, fine. How's your family?
-Not bad, not bad. In fact, uh, my wife's pregnant again.
-Oh, good.
-Yeah.
-Okay, Randy. Thank you.
-Stop -
-Wait, hold on a second.
-Hey!
-Look, look. You can't stop her for speeding? I mean, look what the hell she's doing.
-But one thing I could never understand, was that she could have everything under control, except for her old pimp boyfriend, Lester Diamond.
-Yeah.
-She's my wife. Look at me. You did know that, didn't you? You knew that she's my wife? Huh? Hey, look at me.
-Yeah, yeah. I know that.
-Okay.
-You fuckin' piece of shit.
-M- Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Rothstein?
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Yeah, is this Lester? This is Sam...
-...Rothstein. I want to talk to Ginger. Put her on the phone.
-She's not here, Sam.
-Lester...
-...listen to me very carefully. I want to talk to Ginger. I want my kid back. I want her put on a plane immediately.
-I know she's there. Don't fuck around with me.
-You understand? Put her on the fuckin' phone.
-Sam, I - I don't know where she is, okay?
-So, l-l-l-listen, I te- I te- I tell you - can I call you back in a few minutes?
-702 472 1862.
-Mm-hm. 1862. Okay, good. I'll call you right b-
-Right away.
-I'll call you right back.
-Right back.
-Now this is just a signature card.
-So, once she signs those papers, she'll be the only person to have total access to the box? No one else, including myself?
-Sam, let me ask you a question. You must really trust your wife.
-Yeah, sure I do. Why?
-No, tha-that's good. It's just unusual. To tell you the truth, so many of my clients don't.
-Oh. Have a good day at school.
-Hello? Hello! Ginger.
-Amy! Amy, open the door!
-I can't! I'm tied!
-Dad!
-What happened? What happened? Who did this to you?
-Mommy.
-I'm gonna get a knife and cut you loose, honey, I'll -
-When did this happen, honey?
-You don't know? What time did your mother do this? When did she leave?
-I don't know.
-...by the only kind of guys that can actually get you that kind of money: sixty-two million, seven-hundred thousand dollars. I don't know all the details.
-But it's in the desert where lots of the town's problems are solved.
-...give him a shot at runnin' a casino and he tries to talk you out of it.
-You know, havin' some fun with it, shit like that.
-Where the hell did you learn how to deal?
-He bet like a fuckin' brain surgeon.
-I'll take Columbia for twenty.
-Yeah, we made a great pair. I made book and Nicky made sure we always collected. The old men loved us. And why not? They all made money with us.
-They payin'?
-It was eight. Ace... tell him the line on the Bear's game.
-Eight.
-What's that? You hear? You hear a little girl, Frankie? You hear a little girl, Ace? Is that a little fuckin' girl?! What happened to the fuckin' tough guy? Told my friend stick it up his fuckin' ass?! Huh?! Huh?!
-While I was tryin' to figure out why the guy was sayin' what he was sayin', Nicky just hit him. No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And you beat him with a gun, you
-But nobody had to take care of Nicky.
-You find any cash in there, we'll whack it up with you.
-...nobody interfered with the fuckin' skim.
-Okay, Sammy.
-Somethin', huh?
-Yeah.
-Holy shit, what've you been doin' out here?
-After we ate, we left Jennifer and Ginger alone and we took a ride to talk. And then... he hit me with it.
-What do you think about me movin' out here? What's the matter? You got a problem with that?
-No, of course not.
-You mean, I have your permission?
-Sure, you have my permission. But I - I just gotta tell you it's no joke out here. It's no joke, you know? You gotta keep a low profile. It's not like back home. Right off the bat, they don't like guys like us. And this sheriff's a real cowboy. Even the coppers aren't afraid to bury people out in the desert here.
-I don't care. I want to get away from back home for a while. I'm tired of that shit back there. Look at this place. It's made of money. You know what the best part is? Nobody's gonna know what we're doin'! There's nobody here to see us! Everybody's back home.
-Nick, I gotta tell you, I got pinched twice for no reason. You really gotta be careful. I'm running a licensed place. Everything's legit.
-But I saw it another. I saw it as untouched. I mean, they had bookies, pimps and drug dealers I could shake down. Who the fuck were they gonna run to? So, I started getting everybody in line. Best of all, for the first time in my life, I figured out a way not to lose.
-Ohh!
-Especially at the casino, where he definitely did not work, people got the message.
-When I married Ginger I knew all the stories, but I didn't give a fuck. 'I'm Sam Rothstein,' I said. 'I can change her.'
-...Nicky was dreamin' his own kind of Vegas.
-...the next thing I did, I started bustin' out high-stakes poker players.
-And I didn't want any of those agents near my place.
-I mean, Nicky's a made guy and I'm not. I can't do that.
-Be careful. Gaming agents are all over the place.
-So, I'm lucky. I'm not allowed to get lucky in this place?
-No, I didn't know that. But you know what he did?
-He insulted Billy. And then I walked over to him politely...
-...and he tells me to go fuck myself.
-What?
-Then he called me a faggot.
-So what do you think I do? I threw that cocksucker out.
-If he does it again, he's out for good. I don't care what it is, Nick, I'm gonna ha- I'll - I'll never let him in the place again.
-I'm sorry about this. Really.
-All right, Ace?
-Okay.
-But I'll tell you, he knew how to bring in the crowds. He knew all the fuckin' angles. He brought over the whole 'Femme Fatale' show from Paris. But he forgot how lazy them European dancin' broads can get. I mean, he had to weigh 'em in once a week to make sure they didn't blow up like fuckin' balloons.
-Hey, I gotta give the guy credit. He does the most obvious thing. This is the only town in the country where a bookie joint is legit, so, why not take advantage, right? So... he took bookie joints off the street and then opened them up inside the casino. Well, within a few years, by doin' all of this, he had every casino on
-You better watch yourself. There's a lot of heat on you already.
-Why, somebody's complaining?
-I'm - I'm hearin' things from security. They're all ex-cops. The Sheriff's lookin' to bust your balls. They want to put you in the Black Book.
-That Black Book is a bunch of bullshit. They got two names in there for the whole country and one of them is still Al Capone.
-Bullshit or no bullshit, they put you in that book, you're gonna be in a lot of trouble. You will not be able to walk into the casino. I'm tellin' you.
-What am I doin' out here? I'm tryin' to make a livin', that's all.
-I'm just tellin' you. Don't say I didn't warn you.
-Well, it wasn't long before what I was afraid was gonna happen, happened. Nicky managed to get himself banned from every casino in Las Vegas, and from then on, I couldn't be seen talkin' to him anywhere in Vegas, or even near it.
-' ...detrimental to gaming. And he will be ejected from any casino in Las Vegas... and the casinos can be fined as much as a hundred thousand every time he shows up.' Do you believe this shit?
-Motherfucker. Unsavory fuckin'... Is there any way around this?
-Nope, there's no way.
-Let's say... for instance... I want to go in the restaurant which happens to be in the casino... to get one of those sandwiches I like?
-Forget it. You can't even set foot in the parking lot. That's how serious it is.
-In other words, I'm fucked.
-In so many words, yes.
-It just didn't sink into his head about the Black Book and what it meant. Not being able to go into a casino is just one thing, but being in this book etched your name into the brains of every cop and FBI agent in the state. I mean, you're listed in there with Al Capone. But Nicky didn't care.
-Yeah, Nicky loved restaurants. He was a real restaurant buff. And over the years, he always made money with them.
-- no matter where he was or what he was doing, he always went home to make breakfast for his son, Nicky- Boy.
-Hello.
-No, no it's okay.
-It's impossible. It's booked up, and you gotta make a reservation. It's...
-...very difficult to get in.
-Hey, Ace.
-You think he got the point?
-What're you doin'? He's a square guy, for chrissakes. You can't treat him like that. He's gonna run to the FBI.
-Fuck the FBI! That prick's been dodging me for three weeks. And what is it with you? All of a sudden, you're tryin' to tell me what to do all the time.
-I'm not tryin' to tell you what to do. But you were way out of line, Nick. What're you doin'? Where's your head?
-Where's my head? Where's your fuckin' balls? Huh? You know I'm tryin' to put somethin' really big together out here. You know what I'm talkin' about, huh? You know! If you're actin' like this now, how can I depend on you? There's a lot of things gonna change out here. And if you wanna be there with me, Sammy, you're gonna have to go
-Listen, Nick, you gotta understand my situation. I'm responsible for thousands of people. I got a hundred million a year goin' through the place. It's all over, I'm gonna tell you, it's all over, if I don't get that license. And believe me, if it goes bad for me, it's gonna go bad for a lot of people, you understand?
-Yeah, forget about your fuckin' license. I plant my own flag out here, you ain't gonna need a fuckin' license. You know, I don't know what it is, Sammy, but the more I talk to you, the more I feel like you just don't wanna go along with me, is that it?
-No, I don't wanna come -
-You should say so.
-I don't wanna come along with you.
-Just say so.
-I'll be honest with you.
-All right, fine.
-I don't wanna be involved in anything you're talkin' about...
-...okay? I just wanna run a square joint. That's it. I just want my license. I want everything nice and quiet. That's it.
-You mean, quiet like this: 'I'm the boss.' That's quiet?
-That's all taken out of context. Okay.
-Yeah, that's out of context. Okay.
-I have no control over that. Ronnie and Billy were right there. They'll tell you exactly what happened.
-Well, back home they don't know about fuckin' control. That looks bad.
-Looks bad? I'm gonna tell you what looks bad.
-Yeah?
-Every time you're on television I get mentioned. That looks bad. That looks bad.
-What the fuck happened to you? Will you tell me?
-What happened to me? What happened to you?
-Yeah.
-You lost your control.
-I lost control?
-Yes, you lost your control.
-Look at you. You're fuckin' walkin' around like John Barrymore.
-All right.
-A fuckin' pink robe and a fuckin'...
-All right.
-...uh, uh, cigarette holder. I'm - I lost control?!
-Yeah.
-You know, I didn't want to bring this up, but you have treating a lot of people with a lot of disrespect. Even your own wife.
-My wife?
-Yeah.
-Now, what does she have to do with all this?
-Well, she comes to see me. She was upset about a lot of things, especially that whole fuckin' Diamond - that Lester Diamond incident.
-All of a sudden, you're the shoulder to cry on? Did you at least tell her about your little role in that whole situation?
-No, I didn't. What good would that do? That's not the fuckin' point.
-Listen, I would -
-The point is that she's upset. She's - and you got a fuckin' problem.
-I - I would appreciate it if you'd stay out of my personal life, okay? You wouldn't like it if I did it to you.
-Hey, she came to talk...
-Please...
-...to me.
-...don't do it to me...
-She came to talk to me...
-Okay?
-And I - what was I supposed to do, throw her out?
-Ju-just stay away from her. It's none of your business, okay? There are certain things you don't do, and you know that.
-It's none of my business?
-That's right, yeah.
-A week ago it was my business, now it's none of my business. In other words, when you need me to take care of somethin' for you, then you need me.
-This guy is gonna run to the FBI.
-Your fuckin' head is getting' bigger than your casino. That's your problem, pal.
-I knew what he wanted, and I didn't want any part of it.
-Fuckin' walking around with a big head. You better check yourself...
-Nicky was questioned in two dozen murders, but they always had to let him go. There were never any witnesses.
-Peekaboo, you fucks, you.
-I see you, you motherfuckers.
-...on the line and this guy's out havin' the time of his life. He has every cop in the state watchin' him, and he's out playin' golf.
-Practice enough this week, you prick?
-Yeah.
-Meet me at three.
-What - what, Caesar's?
-No, a...
-...hundred yards further down the road.
-Why?
-Where the fuck you get off talkin' to people about me behind my back? Goin' over my head?
-What people?
-What people! What'd you think, I wasn't gonna find out?
-I don't even know what you're talkin' about, Nick.
-No? You said I'm bringin' heat on you?! I gotta listen to people because of your fuckin' shit?! You're ordering me out?! You better get your own fuckin' army, pal!
-I didn't do anything. I mean, I didn't order you or anybody... I only told Andy Stone that you had a lot of heat on you, and that was a problem.
-You want me to get out of my own fuckin' town?!
-Yeah, I said I - let the bullshit blow over for a while so I can run the casino. Anything goes wrong with the casino, it's my ass. It's not yours, it's my ass.
-Oh, I don't know whether you know this or not, but you only have your fuckin' casino because I made that possible!
-I -
-I'm what counts out here! Not your fuckin' country clubs or your fuckin' TV shows! And what the fuck are you doin' on TV anyhow?!
-What are you -
-You know I get calls from back home every fuckin' day?! They think you went batshit!
-I'm only on TV because I gotta be able to hang around the casino. You understand that. You know that. Come on.
-Your fuckin' ass! You could have had the food and beverage job without goin' on television! You wanted to go on TV.
-Yeah, I did want to go on TV. That way I have a forum. I can fight back. I'm known. People see me. They know they can't fuck around with me like they could if I was an unknown. That's right.
-You're makin' a big fuckin' spectacle of yourself.
-Me?! I wouldn't even be in this situation if it wasn't for you. You brought down so much fuckin' heat on me. I mean, every time I meet somebody here, the big question is do I know you.
-Oh, sure. Now you want to blame your fuckin' license on me, is that it?
-No, it - it - Nicky, when you asked me if you could come out here, what did I tell you? I mean, you asked me, and I knew you were going to come out no matter what I said, but what did I tell you? Do you remember what I told...
-Back -
-...you? Do you remember what I told you?
-Back - Back up, back up a fuckin' minute here. One minute. I asked you?! When the fuck did I ever ask you if I could come out here?! Get this through your head, you -
-You never - ?
-What are you doin'? You gotta get out of here!
-Hey, Sammy, tell this Jew motherfucker over here to pay that marker.
-Nicky, Nicky, you're not listenin' to me. I'm here to help you. What's the matter with you? You're gonna bury us both.
-Just give me the money. Fuckin' give me the fuckin' money, Sammy.
-Ginger called me.
-Yeah.
-I just told you. She called me.
-And what'd she want?
-She was afraid to call you.
-I know. Why didn't you come to me? I mean, this is family, it ain't business. Meanwhile, you make calls back home. Sammy, it makes us look bad out here, you know what I mean? Back and forth, this one and that one, and, in the meantime, she's gone anyway. Am I right?
-I don't know. What am I gonna do with this woman? I don't know... She's drivin' me fuckin' crazy.
-I think if you, uh, okay it, you know, assure her that she's gonna be all right, she'll come back.
-She's driving me fuckin' crazy.
-Hello.
-Sammy.
-Yeah, uh, who's this?
-It's me.
-Yeah, what are you doin'? You okay?
-No, I'm not okay.
-How'd you know I was here?
-...uh, you know, I just wanted to talk to you a minute.
-Well...
-...Ginger's missing and she tied Amy up and she locked her in her room. I gotta find her. I don't know where the hell she is.
-Yeah? Well, listen, Ginger's over here at the Leaning Tower with me.
-She's there with you? She's there with you?
-Yeah, she's here.
-Ace don't... listen, don't... don't make a scene, all right?
-I want to just talk. I want to talk to that Irish bitch.
-She didn't know who to turn to. She... she didn't know where to turn. She was tryin' to save your marriage.
-Yeah? Nicky, I want to talk to that fuckin' bitch.
-Mr Rothstein... I'm Pat Webb.
-Hey, it is my pleasure.
-Yeah, I heard a lot about you.
-Hey, house is doin' well. Hey, all that money is rollin' in. I appreciate you takin' the time to see a poor ol' civil servant.
-Uh, I come here personally to kind of smooth over a fracas about a certain matter. See, uh, maybe you didn't know it, but, uh, Don Ward is a very well-liked man in this town. He's got lots of friends here. Now, his family and their money go back many, many years. Now, friends vote... family and money votes. That's important to me... and
-I'm sorry, but he knew about our gettin' hit on three big machines in a row and he did nothing about it. That means either he was in on it or, forgive me for saying this, he was too dumb to see what was going on. Either way, I cannot have a man like that workin' here.
-Before we point the dirty end of the stick at 'ol Don, uh, we better be sure we can prove them charges.
-Believe me, if I could prove it, he would be under arrest.
-Are, uh - - are we certain that you want the Gamin' Control Board eyeballin' your record and your gangster pals like Nicky Santoro?
-I think you're way out of line talkin' to me like that. What you're sayin' is libelous, and you're in no position to challenge my expertise. I went way out of my way to be very helpful and courteous to that kid. He's weak, he's incompetent. He jeopardizes the whole place. There's not much more I can do for him.
-You have got me there. Old Don is as useless as tits on a boar. But, he is my brother-in-law, and I would look on it as a personal favor if you'd think some more on hirin' him back.
-I can't do that. And I appreciate the fact that he's your brother-in- law, and I do want to help you and I like to do favors, and I know who you are, but I cannot do that.
-Well, could there be any position... further down the trough?
-Okay, thanks. Um... you know, that's it. I'm sorry.
-Mr Rothstein. Your people never will understand the way it works out here. You're all just our guests. But you act like you're at home. Let me tell you somethin', partner... you ain't home. But that's where we're gonna send you if it harelips the Governor. Thank you for your time.
-No problem. Sorry.
-Son-of-a-bitch. How the hell did you get Oklahoma-Michigan? Nobody ever had Oklahoma-Mi... How the hell'd you do it?
-Well, that's why they paid so well.
-You see? Never tells me nothin'. Ace, what do we got on for next week?
-Well, it's a little too early. I'd say Thursday would be good. I'll know by then. Is that all right?
-Okay. You come by the house?
-I'll come by.
-Seven o'clock?
-Oh, yes. Will you help me fold these, please?
-You go and put your things away.
-Because Nicky enjoyed being a gangster, and he didn't give a damn who knew it.
-I mean, that's what worried me, 'cause it turns out Nicky was about to be sent to Vegas.
-This is Jennifer and Nick. They're dear friends of mine.
-You know, I don't feel like playin' tennis.
-...as soon as Andy got back home, Nicky heard about our talk in the car.
-Let's go to lunch. Do you want to go to the Riviera?
-Hello.
-Want something to drink? Charlie you want a refill?
-Charlie, you've gotta - you've gotta stop her!
-I-I'm sorry, Sam.
-You've got to stop her.
-What can I do?
-Legally, she can't take that stuff. Legally, she can't take the stuff.
-No, Ace.
-Half of everything is mine.
-Ace, listen to me.
-Mr Rothstein, sir, let me put her on suspension.
-Never mind the 'sir'. Never mind the 'sir'.
-Well, sir, I was just...
-Why is she eight pounds over?
-...trying to offer you the respect that your...
-I...
-...position...
-'Mr Rothstein' is good enough.
-Mr Rothstein... well, sometimes, when you reach that pressure point, when you put that pressure point on them, you know, it shows...
-She could at least lose half a pound or a quarter. Listen...
-...and she doesn't always -
-...all you do is give me answers. Just - just give me the right answer.
-But, sir. Well, I don't know why. I guess, maybe, because she's frightened that if she doesn't lose the weight she may even get fired.
-That's right. She will get fired. In fact, I want you to send her back to Paris.
-It's always been our policy -
-I hired an old casino pal, Billy Sherbert, as my manager and I went to work.
-...And this is Ronnie, who takes care of the card room...
-We need this guy.
-We can't get rid of him?
-He's juiced in. He's the County Commissioner's cousin.
-I had dozens of politicians and state officials comin' through that place every week.
-Nice to see you, Senator.
-Help the Senator, give him whatever he wants.
-Certainly. Senator.
-Why not make them happy?
-Fuckin' asshole won't budge.
-This woman's an institution.
-To Abraham Lincoln.
-L'chaim. [Yiddish for 'to life']
-Sam, we got a problem.
-What is it?
-Now, he's really pissed.
-He wants a fifty-thousand marker.
-No, just - just give him, give him ten. That's it. Ten. I'll be right down.
-Yeah, Billy Sherbert, please. Put him on.
-Who's this?
-Okay. Just take it easy.
-Right away. Okay?
-I-I'll do it.
-I'm going to go powder my nose.
-Ginger's mission in life was money.
-I'll be right back.
-Okay, thank you for asking.
-She was a queen around the casino. She brought in high rollers and helped them spread around a lot of money.
-Any change?
-I hit a few... uh, games on the way back.
-She took care of the dealers...
-Hey, Mitch.
-...pit bosses, floor managers.
-Thank you.
-...she took care of the valet parkers, the guys who could get you anything and take care of anything.
-The Ginger I knew wouldn't even look at this creep.
-Within no time, everything was set in place. We got rid of the freelance scamsters. The per was way up. The gods were happy, or as happy as the gods can ever be. And I, I decided to complicate my life. For a guy who likes sure things, I was about to bet the rest of my life on a real longshot.
-We're not getting any younger. Don't you think it's time? Aren't you gettin' tired of all this shit? Bangin' around, hustlin' around?
-What, are you trying to handicap me?
-I'm gonna do you one better. I'm trying to marry you. You want to marry me? I'm serious. I mean, I - I want to settle down. I want a family.
-You got the wrong girl, Sam.
-I know I'd be a good father. I know you'd be a good mother.
-You don't know me. What, you've known me, two, three months. What do you know?
-I'm forty-three years old. I don't want to wait. I know you well enough to know that I really love you very much. And I can't think of anybody better to be with. And I don't feel like waiting anymore.
-You know a lot of happily married people, Sam? 'Cause I don't.
-Yeah, I know all that.
-I care about you, a - But I just don't have those kind of feelings for you. I'm sorry. I'm not in love with you.
-I - I - I...
-Understand? I'm sorry.
-No, I - I... mean... that can grow as I - as long as there's a mutual respect... that kind of thing can grow. I'm realistic. I can accept that. But, you know, what is... What is love anyway? It's a... it's a mutual respect. It's - it's a devotion. It's a... it's a caring from one person to another. And if we could
-If it doesn't work out. You know, if it doesn't play out, then what happens to me?
-You know I'm doin' well now. And I'm gonna do even better. And so, whatever happens, if it doesn't work out between us, I'm gonna make sure you're okay for the rest of your life. And if there are kids, especially, you know, I'll take care of you better than you'd ever imagine.
-What're you... what're you pitching me, here?
-You all right?
-Yeah.
-Why're you crying?
-Maybe you shouldn't drink so much.
-I'm okay. I just - You just have to understand. I've been with Lester since I was a kid. I just wanted to say goodbye. I - I just... I don't... I think I have a right to do that. Okay?
-It's all right. That part of your life is over with. Right?
-Yeah.
-You're with me now.
-Yeah.
-Right?
-Uh-huh.
-You sure?
-Want to go? Let's go back in.
-You're kidding? My God. What is it?
-It's chinchilla.
-Oh, it's so soft.
-It's nice isn't it?
-So, do you think it's too much if I wear these in the same day?
-You're so wonderful. The jewelry's not so bad, either.
-The only thing is... you shouldn't keep this in the house. We gotta put it in a bank.
-Come on. Can I keep this one in the house?
-Now look, pay attention to me. What I'm gonna tell you is very important.
-Okay.
-Crooked cops and kidnappers, they don't take checks.
-Need a little help with that, Mr Collins?
-Hi. Nice to see you.
-Hey, do you want to see this one? Daddy gave me all this jewelry because he loves me so much. Put your arm in there.
-But as much as they loved her...
-Oh, fabulous.
-Okay, want to go with Mommy?
-What do you need?
-You get her? Okay. Well, I need a lot. I need more than usual.
-Well, why don't you take it out of your account? There's a lot there.
-Twenty-five thousand? For yourself?
-Yeah.
-Why do you need that much?
-Well, what's the difference? I just need it.
-Well, I mean... you know, I gotta ask you. That's a lot of money. You're not asking for a box of popcorn, you know. I mean...
-I'm aware of that. We don't have to turn this into a big deal. Okay? We don't have to have a fight. It was important to me. But forget it. Just something I wanted to do for myself.
-Huh? Well, you know what? Now, I want you to tell me. I mean, my wife comes to me and asks me for twenty-five thousand. I mean, what do you want? Do you want a coat?
-No.
-Well, if you want a coat, you got it. You know that. It's not the money, it's just why do you want it? That's all I'm askin'. Am I not entitled to that?
-Look - Sam, I've been independent my whole life. I never had to ask anybody for anything. Now you're making me beg you for this.
-What are you talkin' a- ?
-Okay? And you're embarrassing me. Why do want to make me feel so bad?
-You're askin' me for twenty-five thousand. I'm not out to make you feel bad. I want to just be able to trust you. You now, it's about trust. I have to be able to trust you with my life. Do you understand? Can I trust you? Can I trust you?... Can I trust you?... Answer me. Can I trust you?
-You can trust me.
-You remember when you called him that night? When you said goodbye to him? He didn't say, 'Don't get married, I'll be right down, we'll get married.' He didn't say that to you, did he?
-No, he didn't.
-Huh?
-Isn't it bad enough you're drinkin' too much, you're takin' all my pills too?
-I didn't take your pills.
-Look - for my ulcer, I take a half a one of these, a half a one of these. And that's when I have extreme pain. I had a three-month supply. What'd you do with 'em?
-You didn't have to beat him up!
-I was just tryin' to help him. It's not like I'm sleeping with the guy!
-Yeah, how do I know?
-You can't make me stop caring...
-What? What?!
-Listen. Ginger. I'm tryin' to make the best of everything here, you know? I mean, you're my wife, for chrissakes. Uh, I mean... people look up to you in this town. I don't know what to think -
-It's okay. Look... ...you gotta get a hold of yourself.
-Okay.
-If not for me, at least for Amy.
-Okay, okay.
-You understand? Your drinking's gettin' way out of hand. I'm gonna get you into a program. They got plenty of good ones.
-I don't need one.
-Yes, you do. It's very discreet. There's no names in the papers. You don't have to worry about any of that stuff.
-That's all you care about. You don't care about me at all.
-Yes, I - yes, I do.
-No, you don't.
-How could you say that? You're a beautiful woman. You're destroying yourself. You don't need that stuff. You don't need that fuckin' leech livin' off you. I know you better than you know yourself. You're a tiger, you're stronger than I am. And when you set your mind on doing something, you do it better than anybody. You can do it. You can do
-You see, if a phone's tapped, the Feds can only listen in...
-...on the stuff involving crimes. So on...
-...routine calls, they have to click off after a few minutes.
-I mean she's only sober about two hours a day. It's usually from eleven in the morning until one in the afternoon. And if I gave her her money and her jewels now, you know what she's gonna do? She's gonna piss it all away in about a year, and then where will she be? Where would you be then? Comin' right back to
-We had a deal. Remember that? He said if it didn't work out between us, that I could get my things and I could leave.
-Well, that's why I'm here. She wants to come back, but she's afraid you're gonna whack her out.
-Hello.
-Hi, it's me. Just who you wanted to talk to, right?
-...uh-uh-uh - I'm not gonna ask you where you are, just please, put Amy on a plane. Just put her on right away, any plane to get her here right away...
-...please. That's all I'm askin' you.
-Do you... I mean... I don't think she should go by herself.
-What do you mean?
-What I mean is, you think if, uh, do you think if I came back... do you think you could forgive me?
-Uh, I don't know. I gotta tell you, I don't know.
-Right.
-I under-understand that. I-I know I fucked up.
-What about the money? Uh, where's the box?
-I gotta tell ya...
-...I-I... made some mistakes and I spent some money.
-What's it...
-...under?
-Pretty serious.
-How serious?
-It's, uh, it's under twenty-five.
-It's under...
-...twenty-five thousand?
-Yeah.
-And...
-...the rest of the two million is still there?
-Yeah, yeah, I got the rest.
-Okay, no big deal. That's okay. Yeah. He got his twenty-five. That I'll live with. Any more I couldn't.
-Okay?
-So, what'd ya do with it?
-With what?
-With the money.
-He needed some clothes.
-Twenty-five thousand for clothes.
-He wanted a watch, too.
-Twenty-five thousand for clothes and a watch.
-Mm-hm.
-The good part was, I had Amy back. So, we went home, had the housekeeper stay over, put the kid to bed, I calmed myself down and we went to dinner. I tried to keep things nice and civil, you know. But... hey, twenty-five thousand for three suits? That doesn't make much sense.
-First of all, he's not gonna wear f- thousand-dollar suits. But let's say he did, which he won't. How you gonna get fitted for twenty-five suits in three days? I, um, I mean, how could you get fitted that fast? I can't get fitted that fast, and I pay twice as much.
-I bought him a watch too.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-But even if you bought him a watch, a really nice watch, one that he thought was nice - and he doesn't know what the fuck a good watch is - so, you go, five, ten, twelve grand?
-Yeah.
-Plus, at the most, three suits, a thousand apiece. That still leaves what? Around ten thousand?
-Would you knock it off, Sam?
-I'm just tryin' to figure it out.
-Yes, I want to kill you! I hate your fuckin' guts!
-Get off of me! Stop it!
-I want you out of here! I want you out of here!
-Take your fuckin' bag and get out of here!
-The arrangement is over!
-No kidding. NO KIDDING!
-And I still get my money. I need some cash right now. You can't just put me in the street.
-You're lower than a dog!
-Here. Here. Is this enough money?! Huh? Will it last you two fuckin' days? Take it, greedy bitch. Take the fuckin' money you fuckin' want.
-Yeah, no kidding. Good! It opens at 9 a.m. Be there!
-Stop! You aren't getting rid of me with one fuckin' suitcase!
-You'll come back tomorrow and get the rest. Just get out of here.
-Fine. I'm takin' Amy.
-You're not takin' Amy.
-I am. I'm wakin' her up right now.
-I am not! She's my daughter too! Goddamn you!
-Hi. You didn't answer your beeper.
-I threw it away.
-You threw it away?
-Look, I tried to do this thing. I know that you want me to, but it's just - You know, I'm driving down the freeway and the fuckin' thing's 'beep-beep-beep-beep'. You know, I'm in a restaurant and it's - it's embarrassing. I don't want to do it anymore. Where's Amy?
-I put her to bed.
-Oscar wants you to call him.
-So, who'd you go to lunch with?
-With Jennifer.
-And where'd you go?
-To the Riviera.
-What'd you have?
-I had a... salad.
-What did Jennifer have?
-She had the same.
-Okay. I want you to call Jennifer and I want you to tell her to tell you what she had for lunch, and I'm gonna listen in on the other line.
-Why do you want to do that?
-You know why I want to do it. Just do it.
-Fine. Just gonna get the bowl for my thing.
-All right... I didn't have lunch with Jennifer.
-Who were you with?
-I was with somebody.
-...she did what she did and I did what I had to do. But, Jesus, Nicky was the worst thing she could've done.
-What if he won't stop?
-I mean, it could get us both killed.
-Hi, Sam.
-I mean, you tie up our kid and you lock the fuckin' door? Are...
-Oh...
-...you out of your mind? That's our child. Are you out of your fuckin' mind?
-It's just for a little while, Sam. The baby-sitter wasn't there.
-I ought to fuckin' have you committed. You fuckin' do that again, I'll f-, I'll f-
-She wasn't gonna get up. I was just gonna be out for a little while.
-I should have -
-I mean, she was asleep. I was going to be right back before she even woke up.
-Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me. Listen, you fuckin' cunt.
-Oh, sh-
-Listen to me.
-Fuck you.
-Let me tell you something. Listen to me.
-I w- I was gonna be back before she woke up.
-You listen carefully! You ever fuckin' touch her again, you ever do anything like that again, I'll fuckin' kill you. Pure and simple. Do you hear me? Pure and fuckin' simple, I'll fuckin' kill you, you bitch.
-Why don't you just let me go, Sam?
-You fuckin' whore!
-I'll sign anything you want me to sign, okay?
-You understand? What? Let you go?
-I just want the key to my jewelry, and I want you to let me go.
-You want your jewelry?
-I want you to let me go.
-Get - Get up! Get up!
-I wou- I wouldn't do that if I were you.
-Get - get up!
-I wouldn't do that...
-I wouldn't -
-Now you need approval from him to go home?
-So what? So who fuckin' blew you in the parking lot before you came in... huh?
-You make me sick, you fuck. Once a fuckin' hooker, always a hooker.
-She, she's alone. Just go. Take the gun and go into Amy's.
-You get down here!
-Just wait there for me!
-You come out here and talk to me, you fucker!
-Will you stop it? You're drunk, you're on drugs. You're gonna -
-I am not!
-You're gonna be sorry if you don't stop that.
-Don't you threaten me!
-You'll wake the whole neighborhood!
-You are not threatening me anymore!
-I won't let her in. I'm sorry, Randy, I'm not gonna let her in. She - Well, I'm not gonna let her in, the way she's behaving. I'm - I'm -
-Not gonna let me in?
-Who knows what you're gonna do in there? I don't want you -
-I'm afraid to let her in the house.
-Oh, you are...
-I'm afraid she's gonna destroy stuff.
-Should I let her in like - ?
-If she calms down, I will let her in the house.
-I am calm!
-After all the threats and all the bullshit, it turned out Ginger didn't tell 'em anything. But by then, the Feds didn't need her, anyway.
-But it was just mine.
-Yeah, thanks for not callin' me a liar. You son-of-a-bitch. You son-of- a
-...'Ace' Rothstein, accused the state's top gaming officials of corruption.
-What are you running for, Bob? What are you running for?
-...and hypocrisy.
-- you could put 'em on your expense account?
-In a Wild and unprecedented outburst that followed his gaming license denial, Rothstein followed several...
-...stunned commissioners into the hallway, where he continued his harangue until his own lawyers and friends urged him to leave.
-We all have a past. You have a past, I have a past. And my past is no worse than yours. But you guys think you have the right to pass judgement on me.
-Long suspected of running the Tangiers without...
-...Well, I've got a large family.
-How many kids do you have?
-Uh, I'm very proud to say that we have eight children.
-Eight children!
-No, no, no, no, please, please, please, please, no, please.
-That's amazing.
-It won't happen again, Sam.
-Loose machines are right back over there.
-What are they doin' way back there? Bring 'em up here where they belong. You can't even see 'em over there.
-Okay, I'll -
-What about the progressives with the high jackpots? Where are they? These machines are hidden.
-Well...
-These are our best machines. They bring all the action. No wonder the drop is off.
-Yeah, okay.
-The action is in the front, not in the back. Bring 'em up front.
-All right, I will, I will.
-Listen to me very carefully. There are three ways of doing things around here. The right way, the wrong way, and the way I do it. You understand?
-I do understand that. I'll get right on it. And thank you.
-Don't thank me, just do it. You're the Slots Manager. I shouldn't have to tell you this.
-Four reels, sevens across, three fifteen-thousand-dollar jackpots? Do you have any idea what the odds are?
-Shoot, it's gotta be in the millions, maybe more.
-Three fuckin' jackpots in twenty minutes? Why didn't you pull the machines? Why didn't you call me?
-Well, it happened so quick. Three guys won. I didn't have a chance to call you.
-You didn't see the scam? You didn't see what was goin' on?
-Well, there's no way to determine that, Sam.
-Yes, there is. An infallible way! They won!
-Well, it's a casino. People gotta win sometimes.
-The probability on one-four-reel machine is a million and a half to one. On three machines in a row, it's in the billions. It cannot happen... would not happen, you fuckin' momo! What's the matter with you! Didn't you see you were bein' set up on the second win?
-I really think you're -
-You - Wait! You didn't see that you were being set up on the second win?
-I really think you're overreacting in this whole -
-Listen, you fuckin' yokel, I've had it with you. I've been carryin' your ass in this place ever since I got here. Get your ass and get your things and get out of here.
-You're firin' me?
-You might regret this, Mr Rothstein.
-I'll regret it even more if I keep you on.
-This is not the way to treat people.
-...worst possible time for me.
-A record of the arrests...
-I had my license hearing coming up and I didn't wanna leave anything to chance.
-That was nineteen years ago, and they were simple gambling pinches.
-I mean, if I can't work in Vegas, where am I gonna go?
-You've been very open with us. I mean, uh, your books and papers and... that - that's gonna mean something when you go before the Commission.
-Ah, yes, here we are. A little craps figures. [Actual amount taken from craps tables before the skim.] Hey - Hey.
-We had to make an example of these pricks that the party was over.
-I'm just curious. I saw you shuffling your checks with your right hand. Can you do that with both hands?
-No.
-Can't do it with both hands?
-No, Sir.
-Can you do it with your left hand?
-Well, I... I never tried.
-So, you're a righty?
-Now, you're gonna have to learn with your left hand.
-Look what they did to my hand, man!
-Excuse me.
-What?
-Is this yours? Your pen?
-Yeah, that's my pen. Why?
-I ju- Well, it's a nice pen. I just didn't know whose it was. I thought it was yours. I didn't want it to get lost.
-I just wanna get out of here.
-And don't forget to tell your friends what happens if they fuck around in here. You understand?
-I'm sorry. I made a bad mistake.
-You're fuckin' right, you made a bad mistake. 'Cause if you come back here - we catch either one of you - we're gonna break your fuckin' heads and you won't walk out of here. You see that fuckin' saw? We're gonna use it. You don't fuck around in this place. You got it?
-Yeah.
-Get out of here.
-When I left here with the money...
-Mm.
-...I got muscled on the street.
-Mm.
-A couple of guys, I owe them. So, that's what I did. I gave 'em the money. That's what I did.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-No, no? You didn't?
-I didn't give 'em the m-
-Fuckin' kids at home! Here. Get the fuck out of here.
-Thanks, Nick.
-Hey... you got a minute? Hey. He's got two million in the box, am I right? Okay, you let him keep your jewels. We take the cash and the only other thing he cares about. Huh? Her majesty. We go to Europe. You dye your hair, get some pl-
-I don't want to go to Europe. I want to go to see The Elephant Man.
-I don't want to go to Europe.
-You know where she gets this from!
-You shut up.
-I was out there with my cumma [Italian- American slang for 'girlfriend'.]
-Your cumma? What are you doin' with your cumma?
-You gotta go back there and talk to that guy.
-Come on, go back there? I never got paid my expenses for the last trip.
-What expenses?
-Well, I'm goin' all over, layin' money out of my own pocket, and I never get anything back. What the hell's goin' on?
-You gotta go back out there.
-Well, then, from now on, I'm gonna start keepin' records.
-Artie, no records, Artie. What are you gonna do with records? Pay taxes?
-Well, I keep layin' out my own fuckin' dough for these trips and nothin' ever comes back. I mean, what hell's goin' on? What are we doin' over here?
-Yeah, that works out.
-But how much cash could I bury in my closet, right?
-You need to understand, and I - I'm sure you do... that in a venture of this kind, you have to be prepared to take some kind of loss.
-Oh, listen, I understand that there's always a risk... you know, I might have to take a loss somewhere.
-So I put some of the money into legitimate deals with Charlie Clark. He was Ace's banker.
-I mean, you will try to push it through, won't you, Mr Clark?
-Yes.
-No, I don't want one. Hey, Mr Clark, how you doin'?
-Hi. Good.
-I've been trying to reach you. You're tougher to get than the President.
-Well, I've been busy.
-Yeah, least you could do is return my phone calls, though.
-Listen... Nicky... we talked about this... and, uh, I explained to you that there was the possibility you might have to take some kind of loss.
-Yeah. I think I want my money back.
-What're you gonna do? Strong-arm me?
-You know... I think that you've gotten the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and walk in and see you, and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack
-You can't talk to me like...
-Hey, you fat Irish prick. You put my fuckin' money to sleep. You go get my money, or I'll put your fuckin' brain to sleep.
-Sam?
-Go back inside! This is none of your business! I don't have to take your shit all the time anymore.
-Hey.
-Mrs Ro- Mrs Rothstein! Okay, shh!
-He won't let me in my own house!
-Mr Rothstein. Mr Rothstein, I'm sorry. We've got some complaints about - about the noise.
-I'm just trying to get in my house!
-I understand.
-Fucker!
-Can I go in?
-That's not a problem, that's not a p-
-Can I go in?
-Um, I'm gonna need a bag. If you could just ask the guy for a big bag, okay?
-Go get a bag, man.
-And here. Here.
-No, you can, you can. You've been so nice to me.
-You just - Just stop him.
-What do you want? It - It's pitch- black out here. It's tin foil.
-Pitch-black?! It -
-It looked like a fuckin' gun!
-You - You fuckin' moron, I'll be filling out paper work for the next two months because of you and this piece of shit, you...
-Oh my God, what are we gonna do? I'm sorry.
-Hey!
-All right. Okay, okay.
-Hey, Mr Rothstein, it'll make it a lot easier on everybody here if we just let her in the house.
-Come on. I'm sorry.
-There's nothing we can do. She had the key.
-Sir, you're gonna have to leave. You mind accompanying us outside?
-Bullshit, I ain't goin' anywhere with you!
-Fuck you! Fuck you!
-Yeah?
-You know who you're fuckin' with?! Huh? Do you?!
-Now move along.
-Leave me alone!
-Here we go!
-You called my friend a faggot? You tell him to go fuck himself?
-Nicky, I did -
-Is that what you did?
-I did - I didn't -
-You took your boots off? You put your feet on the table... you shit- kicking, stinky, horse-manure-smellin' motherfucker you! You fuck me up over there, I'll stick you in a hole in the fuckin' desert! You understand? Go over there and apologize. Go! Get the fuck out of -
-Beautiful. You got a beautiful swing.
-Ace got my son, little Nicky, involved with Little League, and it was great.
-Now, I want you to get out there and get me singles and doubles, okay? 'Cause that's what's gonna win this game.
-Turned out to be one of the other coaches was a fuckin'...
-Now go out there and show your dad what you can do.
-...metro intelligence cop. But it didn't matter. I mean, it was all about the kids, you know.
-You know, he's gotta realize everything can't be a home run that he does.
-Yeah, well, that's exactly what I keep tellin' him, but that's the kind of kid he is ever since he's born.
-It's instinctive, you know.
-...in some legitimate places, like my restaurant.
-I had my kid brother, Dominick, run it for me.
-Do you see that? Dumb Jew motherfucker. Grew up together and he's actin' like he don't even know me. I know we're supposed to avoid each other, but, you know, there's ways to do things and there's ways not to.
-Forget about it, Nick. Don't let it bother you.
-He's comin' over.
-Oh.
-We're waiting on Carmine.
-Carmine left?
-He's gone?
-He's not here?
-Hey, Nicky, how are you? What are you doin' here?
-Yeah, I'm over here with him.
-Carmine? He was here before. I saw him. He had a suitcase and everything, and then he left.
-Carmine left?
-I think, you know, maybe he went across the street or somewhere else or somethin'. I don't know.
-Well, listen, uh... Good luck with the joint, huh?
-Artie!
-Calm down! Calm down!
-No, I won't calm down! He's my husband!
-Stay out of the way!
-Artie! Artie!
-We're - we're placing you under arrest for -
-For what?
-We're placing you under arrest for aiding and abetting -
-What?
-We're placing you under arrest for aiding and abetting a -
-Hey, Frankie.
-How are you?
-...I want all the names of all the other people he had with him. And I don't care what you have to do to him to get 'em. You understand?
-I'll take care of it, Remo.
-Frankie... they found a guy's head in the desert. Do you know about that?
-Yeah, I heard, yeah.
-Yeah. Everybody's talkin' about it. They're makin' a big deal out of it.
-I know.
-It's in all the papers.
-What're you gonna do?
-And I mean... that's no good.
-I know.
-You gotta tell him... to take care of things a little better.
-Frankie, I want to ask you something.
-It's private... but I want you to tell me the truth.
-Of course, Remo.
-I want you to tell me the truth, mind you.
-I always tell you the truth, Remo.
-Frankie... the little guy, he wouldn't be fuckin' the Jew's wife, would he? Because if he is... it's a problem.
-What could I say? I knew if I gave the wrong answer, I mean, Nicky, Ginger, Ace, all of 'em could've would up gettin' killed.
-Because there's one thing about these old timers: They don't like any fuckin' around with the other guy's wives. It's bad for business.
-So, I lied... even though I knew that by lyin' to Gaggi, I could wind up gettin' killed too.
-No. I ain't see anything like that.
-Are you sure?
-I'm positive. Remo... things are very fucked up down there, you know?
-Yeah, I know. That's why I'm asking. You see, my main concern is Nicky.
-Hm.
-I want to know... if he's doin' all right. If he's okay.
-He's good. He's fine.
-I'm askin' you, Frankie, to keep an eye on Nicky. Do it for me.
-No problem.
-You see... I wouldn't want to be jeopardizing anything for people who are our friends. You understand?
-I understand.
-You got a round figure on it?
-But back then the bosses didn't give a fuck about whether he enjoyed himself of not. To them, he was a cash register. All they had to do was ring the bell and take the money. Especially Remo, who was a fuckin' degenerate gambler who always lost.
-I mean, unless Ace made his bet.
-Ace.
-Hey, Nick. Vien acca. [Italian- American slang for 'Come here']
-I'll be right out.
-T'aggia parla. [Italian-American slang for 'I've got to talk to you'] Nicky... See that guy?
-Mm.
-Keep a good eye on him. He's makin' a lot of money for us. And he's gonna continue makin' a lot of money for us, so keep a good eye on him.
-Mm.
-Not like your fuckin' friends out there, that... without brains. Okay?
-All right.
-Uh-huh. Mi raccomando. [Italian- American slang for 'I'm counting on you']
-Yeah.
-Fine.
-Uh-huh. Good.
-But I knew how to keep the bosses happy. Whenever they gave me little jobs to do, you know, to send a message, I would carry things out...
-Hi, Jennifer.
-Pleasure. Very nice to meet you.
-Hi, how are you?
-Tell me.
-I know it wasn't a nice thing to do but -
-Well, you gotta understand it. He doesn't know if this guy is shaking you down or taking advantage of you.
-No! No! I told him all about the guy before we ever got married. This is no fuckin' surprise.
-Oh, you did? I didn't know that.
-Yeah. He's just a friend of mine I was trying to help, so... so what?
-I never see - You know, I never seen him act like that with anybody else. I think he's crazy about you. I mean, he really loves you. He does.
-Oh, come on. I went into this with my eyes open, you know. I knew the bottom could drop out at any time. I'm a working girl, right? You don't think I'm gonna go into a situation like this if I don't think I'm gonna get covered on the back end.
-Sure.
-Am I right?
-I can see that. Sure.
-So, he put aside some jewelry for me. A lot of jewelry.
-You mean, like a lot of expensive jewelry? About how much?
-Mm, you want to steal it?
-No. I - I'm just curious, you know. I was wonderin' how much he would put into a thing like that. That's all.
-I'm told it's worth about a million dollars, maybe more.
-Well, there you go. But what does that tell ya? A million dollars in jewelry. Does that tell you the guy is crazy about you, or what?
-I should have never married him. He's a Gemini. A triple Gemini... duality. Gemini's the snake. You know you can't trust the snake. I mean it.
-Listen, Ginger... you know, this is probably not... I don't have the answers anyway... and this is probably not what you want to hear right now, because you're a little upset with Ace.
-I do.
-I understand that. But, you know, I think you should try to make the best of it now. Go slow, you know. See what happens.
-He didn't have to hit him. It's not exactly like I'm sleepin' with the guy! And he makes me sneak around to see my own friends! What the fuck is that all about?
-Well, I guess it's 'cause he loves you so much. He's jealous and worried.
-He gives a fuck what I do?
-Look, I'll try to find out what the hell's goin' on. When I see him I'll talk to him.
-Okay.
-All right?
-And take it easy with this shit, will you? I mean, this can only make matters worse.
-Oh, come on.
-You're a beautiful girl. You don't want to ruin your looks. I've seen a lot of girls get shot to hell from this stuff.
-You're so nice.
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
-You just relax. Nobody's killin' anybody, do you hear?
-No, I really do. I think he's gonna kill me.
-You just relax, and call me back here in exactly an hour, on this phone, and I'll see what I can do.
-So, I'm gonna call you back in an hour... at this number, and you're gonna be there, right?
-I'll be there.
-And listen, don't do anything else crazy, okay? You all right? Okay.
-I mean, listen, two people don't get along, at some point you gotta call it... I mean, it's none of my business, but I ... I think that's what you gotta do. You gotta take it somewhere -
-Oh, you're right, I know. It's... well, I was just -
-What? What?
-Nothin'.
-What were you gonna say? Go ahead.
-I don't -
-Tell me what you were gonna say. Go ahead.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Well, I was thinkin', maybe... you know somebody at the bank... could help me get my jewelry out? There's a lot of money in there. Lot of money in there, and I'd be willing to take care of anybody who helped me out.
-Let me think about that.
-Okay.
-See who I got in there. Gotta get somebody I can trust.
-Mm-hm.
-You know?
-Yeah. 'Cause, you know, He's never gonna give me my jewelry.
-Hm.
-He holds that key so tight, he's probably got it stuck up his ass.
-He's so fuckin' lucky. I could have buried him. I could have gone to Europe and taken the baby. And then he'd've tracked me down and he'd've killed me.
-No, he wouldn't. I would have. And he'd've been right, too. I mean, seriously. Well, there's one thing you don't do. You don't take a guy's kid and then take off.
-I didn't. I didn't. I mean, I did, but then I did exactly what you told me to do, and I came right back.
-You did. You're right.
-You did. I like that. I like that. That's what I like about you. You did the right thing.
-I did what you told me to.
-Yes, you did.
-'Cause you always tell me the right thing to do.
-Yeah. Boy, he really fucked himself up out here - - didn't he?
-Sure did.
-No, he's not.
-He really thinks who the fuck he is, I'll tell you that.
-He hates my fuckin' guts.
-Come on, come on, you're a toughie. You can take this. Don't cry.
-I'm not as tough as you think I am.
-Yes, you are.
-I'm not and he scares the shit out of me. I never know what he's gonna do.
-Come on. Don't be scared.
-I do. I need a new sponsor.
-Is that what you want?
-Yeah.
-A sponsor.
-Yeah.
-Mm... okay. Don't worry about it. Nobody'll fuck with ya anymore. I'll take care of ya.
-Nicky, please...
-Yes, I will. It's what you want, isn't it? Huh?
-Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-It's what you want?
-What did I tell you? Supposing he goes back home and makes a fuckin' beef? I gotta know exactly what you said. Tell me what you said to him.
-Me? I said... nothin'. I said, I said, 'No, no, no.' Everything he said, I just kept sayin' no.
-I told you this was fuckin' dangerous. Remember I said, 'Ginger, this is a dangerous situation. Be very careful.' You fuckin' yessed me to death.
-If it's so fuckin' dangerous, then why don't you kill him?
-I'm not gonna kill him. Shut the fuck up. What, do you know what you're talkin' about? I'm not killing anyb-
-Oh, well, then, have him killed and get it over with.
-Hey, don't be such a fuckin' smartass, will you? I mean, I know the fuckin' guy thirty-five years, I'm gonna fuckin' whack him for you? Fuck... motherfucker! I knew this, I knew it.
-What about my money?
-Ah, you fuck! You're such a fuckin' asshole!
-Get the fuck out of here.
-I don't need you! I have my own fuckin' money!
-I'm going' to the FBI! I'm not scared anymore!
-All right. Be careful.
-You fucked with me for the last time!
-So, what'd you say to that fuckin' jerk anyway?
-I told him I was Mrs Sam Rothstein.
-Great.
-You know, I've got to do some shopping afterwards. Do you want to go?
-...same outfit.
-Yes!
-Thank you. Very nice.
-I'm sorry.
-Thank you, sir, I appreciate that. Everybody, thanks. Gives some chips as tips to the dealer and box man. Thanks. Take care, Steve. Take chances and drive fast.
-Come on.
-What's the matter?
-What do you mean, 'What's the matter?' I made a lot of money for you. I want my cut.
-What money? I've seen you stealing from me.
-What money? Look at this stack of chips. Don't give me that shit. I want my end.
-Ginger, I've been watching you all night. You've been stealing from me.
-Don't give me that shit. I want my money.
-That bag's full of fuckin' chips you
-Get lost, Ginger! Get lost!
-Get lost?
-Yes.
-Get lost?
-Well, how 'bout that?
-All right.
-Okay?
-Yeah.
-Where are you goin'? Where are you? You're in that place. Where are you?
-I'm here.
-No, you're not. Where are you? Where are you?
-I'm always here for you.
-You are.
-Don't make me come there. Answer me.
-Bub-ut, baby, do you know that I love you too?
-No, Lester.
-Do you know that?
-Yeah. This is the best thing I can do for my life right now.
-So, it's gonna be okay, isn't it?
-Promise?
-...all the luck in the world.
-You do?
-- with stupid braces on your teeth.
-Okay, then.
-Every time I ever see you, that's what I see.
-What does that mean? No, I know that look. What does that mean?
-It means I got the money.
-We'll go later.
-Don't give me any of your shit! Okay, this has always been a dream, but we're going.
-Lester - he called you here.
-Right.
-Here.
-He was just on the phone.
-He called you right here.
-I just talked to him.
-So, he knows where you are. That means he's sending some guys over here probably right now.
-Ginger... It means he's sitting by the phone like a dumb-bell, waiting for me to call him back. Now, I -
-That's - Yeah, he's sitting by the phone like a dumb-bell, just waiting for you to call him back. That's what he's -
-He's sittin' by the phone -
-What do you think we're gonna do? He's probably got guys outside the fuckin' house!
-Get your bag! Come on, get your bag! Get your things! Let's go!
-It's this bullshit. It's just bullshit right here. This is the fuckin' problem, you know.
-Oh, what bullshit? What, do you want to fuckin' talk it over now?
-You're done yakkin', okay? You're done yakkin' now?
-Go! Go! Get in the car! Go!
-Just knock it off! Would you two knock it off? Get in the car.
-You're not gonna drive. Don't even think you're gonna drive.
-No, I'm gonna drive.
-No, I'm not gonna drive with some crazy -
-- back to Nigeria. Yeah.
-Listen...
-...they're in Penthouse K.
-They check in alone?
-They checked in alone.
-Are they out now?
-Yes, don't worry.
-Excuse me, but I folded these things beautifully and I would appreciate a little respect. Jesus Christ!
-There's more!
-I think that's it.
-There's more! There's a couple stuck in there. I know there's more.
-God, I'm telling you, they're out!
-Look, there aren't... There aren't but...
-Hey, how you doin'?
-Wow.
-Boy, look at this place, huh?
-Incredible.
-How many of these you gonna eat, huh?
-Two.
-Mm-hm.
-You know why, right?
-Yeah.
-Why?
-'Cause it clogs up your heart.
-Well, how come I laid nine?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Ace saw Vegas one way.
-You call this guy and tell him I'm comin'?
-Smarten up.
-...you big fuckin' hick, you. Come here. Come here. Get him up. Come here.
-Get up.
-Come here, come here.
-Get up.
-Sometimes I used to go along on a heist just for the fun of it. But I didn't like the people I was rippin' off lookin' at me, so I used to turn their fuckin' pictures around.
-What's takin' so long over there?
-Whenever we got local merch, we'd usually send it to Palm Spring or Arizona... LA. I had a couple of sand niggers out there. You know, Arabs.
-I actually turned my bedroom into a bank vault where I kept the choice stuff.
-She asleep?
-Give all the guys in your crew a piece of that?
-I took care of everybody.
-You walk past me?
-Hey. This is Shelly.
-And this is Stacy.
-Stacy.
-This is Nick.
-...Remo and the guys used to hang out and count their millions.
-I mean, the cops knew, but they didn't give a fuck. I mean, you know, they all worked it out together.
-Fine. Everything's goin' good.
-Yeah, thanks a lot.
-...bosses. I mean, they're smokin' their Di Nobilis and they're eatin' a trippa [Italian-American slang for 'tripe'.] and fuckin' suffritt', you know, fried pigs guts? While, if I wanna talk private, I gotta go to a fuckin' bus stop.
-But, hey, what do they care, as long as I keep sendin' money back.
-Yeah, but they're complaining.
-I do all the work. Somebody don't like it, fuck him.
-It's up to you.
-Mm.
-Fuckin' Jews stick together, don't they?
-They're havin' a good time too.
-He's here.
-Sue me, you Jew fuck!
-Let's get out of here.
-You must have drunk too much.
-He asked me again about you and the Jew's wife.
-Walk, walk, walk. What'd you say?
-He asked me again about you and the Jew's wife.
-Yeah, what'd you tell him?
-I told him I didn't know nothin'. But Jiggs and, uh, Tony Gorilla said if you did anything, you're fucked up.
-You think he's goin' home, makin' a beef behind my back?
-Nah. You would've heard somethin'.
-Yeah, what's to stop him?
-I know. I know.
-I don't trust him anymore. But they'd never okay anything, you know?
-Yeah, but they keep askin' about it.
-Well, now, sure they're askin'. They earn with the prick. I got a funny feelin' he's gonna start a fuckin' war or somethin'. I'm not sure yet, you know. But I w- You know, but you know what I want you to do?
-Who's this guy? Who's this guy?
-Oh, he ain't nobody.
-You know what I want you to do? Get a couple of guys to dig a hole in the desert, then let 'em show you where it's at.
-Angelo and Buster.
-Yeah, but I'm not sure yet.
-They'll do it.
-And when I'm ready, I'll say the words, 'Go see the Jew.'
-Yeah.
-And you make it disappear, you know what I mean?
-Yeah, just let me know. But you gotta be ready. You know what I'm talkin' about?
-Don't know.
-Dominick said they're in the motel?
-Calm down, calm down. Shh!
-Whoa. Calm down.
-Get out. Get out! Get out!
-Take it easy!
-Why'd I get involved with this fuckin' nut in the first place? Get out!
-You're gonna fuckin' kill her. Take it easy.
-I fucked up, Frankie. I fucked up good this time. Should have never started with this fuckin' broad.
-Take it easy. What could you do? I mean, she threw herself at you, right?
-Frankie!
-Frankie! Frankie, you piece of shit!
-No more fuckin' dirty work!
-No, no, no, no!
-Listen to me, Anthony. I got your head in a fuckin' vise. I'm gonna squash your fuckin' head like a grapefruit if you don't give me a name. Don't make me have to do this, please. Come on. Don't make me be a bad guy. Come on.
-Fuck you!
-Oh, God! Give me the fuckin' name!
-Ch-Charlie M!
-Charlie M?
-Charlie M.
-Charlie M? You make me pop your fuckin' eye out of your head to protect that piece of shit? Charlie M? You dumb motherfucker!
-Kill me, you fuck, kill me.
-Tony.
-Hey.
-How you doin'?
-How you doin'?
-All right, yeah. You got that thing for me?
-What thing? Oh, Nicky... I thought you was layin'.
-I was layin'? No, no, I'm taking it. I was takin' it.
-You sure?
-I'm positive.
-Well, I'm a little confused here.
-You're a little confused?
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry, Nicky. I didn't mean anything by it.
-My fuckin' head.
-Pardon me, counselor. Before you continue...
-No, I want to have this marked, Mr. -
-...this, uh, this Commission is prepared to act on a motion denying the Rothstein application.
-Denying?
-Do I hear a motion seconded?
-Hey! Oh!
-Oh, sorry -
-What's the matter with you?
-Receipts and bills and... everything's here.
-Since when do you talk like that?
-I'm sorry.
-There's a lot of people here.
-Nance gives me trouble and I'll tell him... screw around with those suitcases and I'll take the eyes out of his frickin' head.
-Again!
-I didn't curse. I said 'frickin' head'.
-That's enough.
-I've never trusted him. And you know I got eyes...
-...behind my head. They trust that scumbag, I don't. Right now, the way I feel, I'll hit the two of them in the head with a fuckin' shovel.
-All right, take it easy now, take it easy.
-Mom, I'm sorry, they're beatin' me left and right. Ma, I'm sorry. I'm all upset.
-I know, but that's enough.
-You know - You know - You know what they're doin' to me?
-I know it, I know it.
-I can't take this no more. Back and forth, back and forth.
-Take it easy, though.
-All right, all right. But I - I -
-You'll get a heart attack like that.
-...everything's comin' out of my pocket. I gotta pay for all these trips back and forth, back and forth.
-...done right, you gotta do it yourself.
-Hiya. That's a lot of money to be counting out in public.
-Yeah.
-Hi.
-Yes, uh...
-You'll want to count the money in privacy. You know, you don't need...
-Hey, Hot Stuff. You're still on the clock...
-The crowd bought it.
-Do I have to remind everyone that in two days, we'll all be dead. The Cult of Good will be a memory. I don't want to hear about lawsuits or cereals. We have a secret mission...
-I still have to call my agent--my techno-single just made the hot 100...what's with the phone?
-Oh Man, not the sewer, I just had this cape cleaned...
-Have we reached the epi-center?
-Works for me.
-I'm not going to worry about it. We are quite beyond the computer disc. Everything will be over within the next hour or so.
-Yew'll be ovah in the naxt tehn minutes...
-Cactus, I can't believe you just said all that...
-I thought we were going to take it easy until the Mission...
-Ah, Cats. Now and Forever.
-
-You know, nobody likes you...
-He likes you. Kincaid and I have always had similar tastes...
-In women?
-No, in art. I try not bring up women around Kincaid. It's a sore spot between us. Long story..
-I'll bet. Funny, for some reason, I don't think dogs are supposed to like me.
-You say that like an amnesia victim.
-Guilty. I am.
-Ouch. I hope you're not offended by aggressively curious men.
-Strange--you seemed so close. I wonder what's happened since yesterday..
-What's the matter...
-Nothing, just a jolt of deja-vu. I think I went out with a guy with a dignified British butler--can't remember how it turned out..
-I'll bet the butler's name wasn't "Jeff."
-You're probably right.
-How heroic of you...
-Kincaid got a little frisky last night...So, meet here at eight and go from there? By the way, I'm Brock Leviathan.
-But of course you are. Dinner at Eight. Wouldn't miss it.
-There's a nice cafe down the street...unless you're afraid of this Catwoman prowling around. We can always dine at the mansion, if..
-You designed Gotham Plaza? The big silver guys pulling on those big silver things...
-What did you think?
-Oh, it's superb--I mean if you like that fascist nightmare kind of thing...
-Hey, hey, the client comes first. You think I want my future children to know their Daddy created Frank's Fun Palace?
-I checked out your stuff at the library. Awesome work, really. Why would someone like you want to go out with a...with a..what exactly am I, again?
-I despise these kind of winds. Sorry, I guess I'm a little on edge. Seems this Catwoman has everyone, men and women, on edge. Don't you feel Catwoman says something about the duality of all men and women...
-Stop. We are not having a "duality" conversation. "Ooh, he has a secret side. Ooh, she has a dark side." Please. Duality is a joke. You get one, do you understand me? You get one life. One shot. I'm so tired of women saying "I have an inner strength" or "Deep down, I'm really ambitious." "One day I'll design my own line of clothing
-I'm sorry I went off like that, I get passionate. I--I guess I'm a passionate person. One of those things I had forgotten. When you were a little boy did you want to grow up to be a superhero?
-What little boy doesn't... My God...it's, it's...Catwoman.
-A whip? Now that's going too far! Some of these women have no shame!
-What's the matter? What are you saying?
-This is insane. Let the heroes handle it. I'd better get you home...I should check on my warehouse to make sure it hasn't been hit...
-Your warehouse? Go on ahead--to your "warehouse." I'll be okay...
-Are you sure?
-Selina, did you make it home, all right? I tried calling, but your mother said that there was "no extension in the Hut." Whatever that means..
-I got home fine. How's the "warehouse."
-Fine. You're angry. Don't be. The important thing is we're together now..
-At some sanctimonious celebration of condescension. Nothing like appeasing half the population with a two hour luncheon.
-Exactly. I don't know what I'd do without you.
-Tonight, somewhere in the city, innocent people will die--but then one of you knows that; for one of you is a vicious pirate-terrorist posing as the beloved superhero Captain God.
-Hmm. Not bad.
-No-o. You know, questions like that don't help your cause--
-Quite a pair we make. Thank you, Jeff.
-Oh now, you put up a good fight. Let's change the subject. Where do people who live in Oasisburg go to get away from it all?
-This ring belonged to my sister. I'd love for you to...
-It would be honor, Brock. Now let's go get this guy...
-In many ways, that obnoxious creep Cactus was the worst one of all. He got off on giving out pain...
-I thought you said you weren't a very good liar.
-There you are darling...Have we met, Lewis Lane, Oasisburg Times.
-Oh, how long have you had your own route?
-Women, huh?
-They do take their time. So..Selina Kyle...
-Selina Kyle...lovely person.
-She has a real spirit.
-A bit on the suspicious side, don't you think?
-She has reason to be suspicious..Doesn't she?
-I better go report this in...
-Selina, are you okay?
-You're kidding.
-You're right, I wasn't looking to fall in love with a casino worker. I'd given up trying to find anyone. But there was a fire in your eyes that cut right through the air conditioning and through the coldness of my heart.
-We're waiting.
-Quiet, Blender Boy. I told you from the beginning, Selina, I'm not a very good liar. I am not Captain God, or whatever else he may be calling himself this month, but when I find out who is--The Man will pay. My sister died in that Museum attack. You can check the Atlanta obituaries. I've tracked these monsters from city to city, waiting for
-I can. That's not an admission of guilt, It's just..I knew you had it in you...
-I've been looking for you.
-I've been looking for you. Selina Kyle was right. One of us is a psychotic crusader.
-But then we knew that all along, didn't we...
-I guess we did. When you were a little boy, did you want to be a superhero?
-You've lost all motor functions. The poison will kill you in ten minutes.
-Hey, speaking of Wrong Place, Wrong Time. Lewis Lane to the rescue!
-Don't you feel so much better now that you know everything? Blink once for yes, twice for..
-Boss, we better roll if we're going to hit this place, blow it up, and make that flight..
-God, can you hear me!
-Wha-at?
-Catwomen. Lots of them!
-I thought cats were supposed to have nine lives, not thirty one! What do you think you're doing?
-Winning.
-What do you want from me?
-At this point, a nap. Oh by the way, I killed your butler and your dog..
-Oh Honey, it's so much better when we do it without the helmet.
-I've been thinking. I've been thinking about us. I'm sorry I've been so hard no you these past couple days. I realize now it's because you're the only woman who ever understood me and I couldn't handle it! I've never revealed myself to anyone the way I have to you. Let's blow this town together. We'll run a bed-and-breakfast in Vermont by day, and
-Pass!
-You were right all along--the two parts to a person are the reality and the lie. I was making good money as a top architect--but that's not who I am. I'm not an architect, I'm a..
-Will you please stop fighting? Just let those people die so we can get on with our new lives together! Trust me, one day we'll look back on this day and laugh. You got to admit, it's a lot more fun to be the villain.
-You might be right, but Fun is overrated. I need something real.
-Don't you realize there's nothing you can do, anyway! Nine minutes and it's all over! The Fun Palace is a tomb. No one can get out. And choke on this furball: all doors and windows are blocked, locked, and electrified! Even the glass around the bomb is rigged.
-Even the skylight?
-The "skylight?" Fool! It's too high for anybody to climb out the damn skylight...
-The shopkeeper on 13th street won't drop the lawsuit--He still claims one of the lasers we fired at the Jenkins gang burned down his store..
-"Dat's gotta hurt!"
-What's the catch?
-Not now, Mammoth. Adonis is right. We've had a good run here--the protection kickbacks from the crime syndicates, the merchandising scams-- Tomorrow night we have a big, violent, complicated and lucrative mission to pull off. We chould be resting up.
-Yeah, this is better than rape.
-Cactus, sometimes you don't deserve to wear our logo.
-What a "drag."
-Cactus--shooting a man in the back is not very noble.
-That is not a man, Captain God. That is Vomit accidentally born with two legs.
-Boss-man, what were you going on about last night: "I am the Law and I am the Danish..."
-Right time. That was kind of fun. She had spunk.
-I don't know, Boss, you saw what the big guy did to the last kitty we gave him.
-God-damn..
-What did you say?
-Sorry man, I didn't mean that personally...
-Ah, did you hear that? Spooky loved you...
-Quite a little performance you gave in the casino today--for me and that other guy. Come on down, let's chat..
-Car wash, Captain?
-My, the Perpetrator seems to be a bit on the "Wild" side..
-Oh, I wish they wouldn't feed him like that.
-Well, we spent enough time building the damn thing, might as well use it.
-Well, you don't see that everyday. Somebody tell me what's the deal with Frida Kahlo here?
-You like them, don't you, Boss.
-The Tranquilizer Tranquility will hold for about an hour..where is she? These women are out here on a lark-- Ladies Night at a discotheque. It's not in their blood the way it is for Catwoman...Where is she?
-I hate it when you get like this. This Catwoman is becoming an obsession. I say we call it a night. Tomorrow is a big day for us...
-I want out of tonight's mission. I can't do it anymore, Captain. I can't let innocent people die to prove our superiority..I can't.
-Why are you--I fought for you with honor. Why should it matter if I'm a man or a woman, as long as I'm a good warrior.
-I loved you.
-You're not a super-hero. You're not even a hero. You're a scary, sick, fake who made a big mistake. You killed someone very special to me..
-Hasn't anyone ever taught you that fighting violence with violence solves nothing.
-It's a lot more fun than fighting violence with pamphlets. That voicebox of yours is a hoot. Say "I'm wearing no underwear"--it'll be funny.. You do know you're evil, don't you?
-A superhero's job is to protect society. Don't blame me if society is a horrible, corrupt joke.
-"A superhero's job is to protect.." Sorry, I can't take you seriously...I overheard you say that tomorrow the Cult of Good will be dead--I should be so lucky--what did that mean?
-My, those little ears pick up a lot. The Cult of Good will die heroically preventing a world-class heist. Since we will be the ones performing the heist, our deaths will obviously be fake. But have no fear. There will be many other deaths tomorrow...and those will be quite real. I'm afraid these questions of yours put you in a position not unlike a
-Oh please, sir, one more. Are you the reporter or the architect?
-Yes. I am the reporter or the architect. You've been through so much..It looks like you've used up all nine of your lives...
-I still have one left...
-You think so?...Selina?
-How can you say things with such feeling and then turn around and put on a helmet and...Who are you? Were you sitting on my right or my left at the card table? Tell me! Please tell me who you are; you own me that!
-I'm supposed to be taking personality tips from you three? You people were once heroes. You had ideals. You fought for things. Spooky told me so...
-Ah, the good guys always triumph in the end. It's what allows our children to sleep at night.
-Spooky.
-Hello, Spooky.
-I don't want to hurt you, Catwoman. Yet. After tomorrow, you can do anything you want, but please, just stay out of sight for the next 24 hours. I won't stand by and watch my leader get all emotional over an animal like you. I warn you, don't tempt Captain God when he is angry. Let is complete our mission in peace.
-Can't you understand--I got tired of being a woman. I wanted the respect that only a cape, boots, chestplate, and a mechanical spear can bring..
-I heard what you said, Spooky. I can't believe he shot you...
-For when the time comes..
-For when the..Uh, yeah, thanks, a little gold piece of...gold. Uh...
-Oh no, not a computer disc. A computer disc? Oh man, come on, what do I look like? I'm not a crime- fighter, I'm not a detective, what, I'm supposed to find some "clues" on this disc. I can't...
-The Mission is happening tonight..It's up to you to...to save the City...
-"Save the City?" I don't want to save the city, I want to move! Listen, I'm sure the computer disc is pretty fascinating and I can't thank you enough for the little weird gold thingie, but..
-You know, my name's not Spooky. It's, it's Rachel.
-You Housewives have no idea what we go through!
-You Career girls have no idea what we go through.
-I'm a good mother!
-You mean, "Consuela" is a good mother..
-How did you know our nanny's name is...Lucky guess!
-What's the name of your child's best friend?
-You're late. I've got some good news and some good news. I'm giving you more hours and the new uniforms came in.
-You know, Kyle, you're still pretty hot for a pre-Bicentennial babe...
-"Pre-bicentennial babe?"
-There you are, Selina. I've been thinking..I have some.."positions" opening up..
-Stop.
-Oh, what? I offer you a job in implied exchange for physical favors and suddenly it's "sexual harassment..."
-Hey, you're anti-male.
-Oh Frank, I'm not anti-male, I'm anti- you. Believe me, there's a difference. Kelly is designing new uniforms for next week. Pay her and thank her. And is it a rule that the hottest places on the planet have the coldest air conditioning. There's something out there called 73 degrees, look into it.
-What if I were to say "You're Fired?"
-What if I were to say "Your Wife"-- as in does she know of your touching mentor-student relationship with the post-Bicentennial babe working the roulette wheel?
-A genuine woman of mystery in Oasisburg. Amnesia. Bulletholes in exposed stomach badly concealed with body make-up. Beautiful, intelligent eyes that have no business in "Frank's Fun Palace" or anybody else's Fun Palace for that matter..
-I don't know what came over me.
-What is it with women and Catwoman? Men have the courtesy to punish the weak, but women love punishing the strong. Don't get me wrong--this Catwoman is a terrifying, subversive menace to everything this community stands for and she must be stopped. It's just, I like her a lot.
-Yeah, she's okay.
-Sorry, I get carried away. Once I become interested in someone, I can't stop trying to figure them out...Amnesia victims are challenging..
-I actually got some memory back last night.
-How much?
-Enough.
-Oh the hand--my grandfather is inventing a new kind of blender and..You know, I realize I've never officially introduced myself...I'm Lewis Lane.
-But of course you are.
-I was wondering, if you're not doing anything tonight...
-I am. Dinner with Brock Leviathan...
-Good morning.
-Ah! You scared me! How did you know to come here! Have you been spying..
-No, of course not. You're listed. Not the hut, exactly, but the rest of..
-Next time, call...
-Hey, Captain God!
-What did--?
-You turned around!
-Yes, you shouted the words "Captain God" at me for no reason...
-Oh, do you turn around every time somebody just shouts at you?
-Did you try to kill...
-What?
-Nothing. How's your hand?
-About the same. Thanks for asking...Damn blender. Okay, I can't stand it anymore, I'm dying to know--Did you try on some whiskers last night and hit a 7-11 along with all those other women? You had to have thought about it--a Catwoman for a night?
-Like you don't know...
-I'm having a hard time picking up your signal this morning--What did you say?
-I said I saw you last night. What were you doing hiding in that alley, running off when the superhero alarm sounded...
-I was doing my job. At the risk of sounding egotistical, I didn't become the best reporter in the world sitting by the phone. I was chasing tail all night--I was not spying, intentionally, on your hot and heavy date with "Brock Leviathan, architect." I can't believe he ordered white wine. You do know white wine is not real wine...
-I'm afraid last night was the last straw of our city's tourists. The Mayor, in his finite wisdom, is throwing a "Month of the Woman" luncheon ball for the public this afternoon to try and calm everyone down. I thought maybe you and I could...
-Go together? Sure, why not? Another date with someone who could be an insane messenger of death for all I know. No offense. Hey, lean over, let me smell your breath..Say in a deep voice, "A superhero's job is to protect..."
-I give up. I give up.--I can't figure you out. Not gonna try.
-You can't figure me out. You're the strange one..
-You are...
-Hey, architect--she's joking. Right, Selina? Selina?
-Some reporter I am..all this time my story is right there in front..I have a lot of questions.
-Lose the smile, Mr. Good Reflexes. We were having a pretty okay time the other night--good food, good conversation--some Catwomen show up and it's "You need cab fare?; I got to go to my Hideout--Oh, I'm sorry, I mean "warehouse."
-Not too cool...
-You know, now that I hear myself tell it, I'm thinking maybe both of you are messing with me. What, you get the Helmet Monday through Thursday, then Brock takes it for the weekend...
-Have you seen the Oasisburg Police? They drive golf carts with little red sirens.
-We have to do something. What can we do to help, Selina?
-I'm sorry, ma'am, there are no pets allowed in the library...
-But I'm blind.
-It's seeing-eye dogs, ma'am. If I let the cat stay, will you go out with me?
-What if I say I'll go out with you, so you can have all these great daydreams, but then never actually talk to you again?
-Okay, deal.
-You're late.
-A hearty breakfast is the start of a great morning...
-Oh, I forgot to tell you, you're on a diet...The fact you're still reasonably pretty is the one thing you got going for you.
-Oh Mommy, you're embarrassing me.
-Is every single thing out of your mouth since your "accident" have to be a monotone mumble of cheap sarcasm?
-Maybe.
-It's funny, I've heard of giving up finding a man and raising a family to pursue a career. And I've heard of foregoing a career to start a family-- but I think you're onto something new, Selina. "Absolutely nothing"-- Has a ring to it. I think it could catch on...How's that for sarcasm?
-I'll take your abuse, but it's way too early for the sanctimonious Cult of Gag...
-Don't sneak up on me...
-Uh, it's just--that woman out there-- that horrible Hag. She's the one who keeps following me on her creepy little scooter--And now she's built a hut in the back..Why did you...
-Where were you last night? I didn't hear you come in.
-Mom? Oh Mom, I messed up...
-What kind of name is "Brock Leviathan?"
-I never thanked you..the arrow..the motorcycle..the computer disc..You're so different from what I..and so the same.
-They're going to attack Frank's Fun Palace!
-I hate it when you let your hair just hang like that...you have such pretty eyes...
-Mom, not now! I, I don't know what to do..
-Yes, you do. You have to go rescue all those people...
-But I'm not a hero. I'm nobody's heroine..I'm nothing. You've said so yourself many times.
-Do you always listen to what your mother says? Selina. Something you choose your life. Sometimes your life chooses you. Save the day..
-I don't know if I can do it alone.
-What's a powerful man like you standing all alone for? Dance with me?
-I'm sorry, Miss, one of us needs to keep surveillance...
-What's it like being a superhero? It must be frightfully exciting..How did you guys all get together?
-You seem sad, Spooky.
-I'm not sad, no, I owe the Captain my life. It's just you think you want to help prevent crime, but you realize that's too complicated. It's a lot more fun to punish crime. Then after a while, you don't care what's a crime and what's not, what you became a Warrior for. You just want the kicks. The rush.
-You're the One. I thought I told you to stay hidden behind the couch, CAT! You've torn the unit apart. You've driven a great leader insane...
-Nice breasts.
-Hey Buddy! Can you let me pull over? Give me some space to pull over.
-Where do you think you're going?
-Any place.
-This is one way.
-I know. But it's an emergency. Somebody dying. Okay?
-I don't see anybody in there but you.
-Was someone in an accident?
-I'm sorry for whatever's happened to you but we're definitely not the right people to do you any good.
-Don't you have children?
-What are you doing on Theo's line?
-Taking messages.
-He ran out on me to be with you? Well fuck him! Everything worked twice as good without him. We didn't need him then and I don't need him now.
-I'm sure he'll be heartbroken.
-I know he's there! He doesn't even have the balls to pick up the phone!
-Be careful. There were people in that crosswalk.
-Have you got to tell her your life story?
-This is my conversation. I'll say what I fucking please.
-What if they do question the authenticity?
-Oh. Seems yours girlfriend is casting doubts on your expertise.
-I am not! Fuck you! Theo's a genius.
-Who's on the phone?
-What was that for?
-You could've made me lose my call.
-So what? What could be important enough to put your hands on me?
-I didn't hurt you.
-Say something ...
-Me, he won't stay on the phone with for five fucking minutes without bitching.
-I'm trying to help somebody. Okay?
-He's at it again. Like that night at the Emerald. This piece of Euro-trash is slapping shit out of his little wife in a back booth -- so Mr. Good Deed here has got to step in and pound the fucker's head into the wall. Meantime "Wifey" recovers enough to pull off her high heel and nearly take our hero's eye out. It took
-I know where it is. Give me that phone back.
-I'm not finished. Under other circumstances I'd gladly go out of my way. I don't understand why you just don't phone some other person.
-She can't! It's busted. Now hand that on back!
-Theo wants to talk again.
-Will you two cut it out?
-He's right, Theo. She might not be around to back up your story. You could end up in the middle of this.
-I know you feel awful but it's not your responsibility.
-Then whose is it?
-You gotta just look the other way.
-Are you guys all right?
-You could've killed us.
-It was the fugitive in the Chrysler that caused this. We were trying to overtake him.
-No reason to kill innocent bystanders. Shit. I can't hardly move my neck.
-We've already got an ambulance on the way. Don't try to get out.
-Now that'd be a misdemeanor.
-I got to get going. An agent is showing me a house up on Broad Beach in ten minutes.
-What'd you do? Tail me from Brentwood?
-Let's have your license, mister.
-What's this?
-Lady, don't let him do it!
-You got it wrong. I'm the one that's on your side.
-Nels reporting in. Sit down where you are. Arms folded.
-In case you crapped out it was my job to go after that briefcase.
-Or relieve me of it later.
-You missed.
-How do we get back to the freeway?
-Yeah, I suppose getting whacked has got to be one of your best ways to die. Particularly if you're not expecting it. You don't know what hit you.
-Can you make him stop!
-Which is why we had a lot more to worry about than the law. These are people who don't worry about reading you your rights.
-I told you I should've cuffed him.
-He's seen both of us now.
-Look, I've got a wife. I don't care if either of you ever get caught.
-It took you long enough to get my ass out.
-With all those holes Nels pumped in I knew you wouldn't suffocate.
-I prefer to have the sucker die at a more convenient location. Once Nels arrives with his backpack full of goodies.
-Now turn around. I'm going to cuff you.
-Put those away. We can't have marks on his wrists.
-You never miss a trick.
-You switched license plates?
-It's taken care of.
-We have never worked a gig together but I am a firm believer in preparation. So let's go over this again step by step.
-That was definitely out of line and totally unprovoked. I heard you were a hitter.
-Bullshit.
-That's your "rep."
-What do you mean tip the cops? Is the man a lunatic or what?
-Just hand up on the bitch! Fuck you, madam. And goodbye!
-I don't like anybody laying their hands on me.
-Just like they say; no fucking self control.
-If you know that just back off.
-Shit. There's the hotel. You overshot the driveway.
-And stop with the directions.
-Make a "U" and go back.
-That's illegal. You want us pulled over? I'll turn around at the corner if you'll shut the fuck up.
-We still gotta run the drill before we walk in that lobby.
-Go ahead then. I'm covering the receiver. She can't hear.
-First off, this Mr. Chow Yen doesn't speak a lot of English. The girl with him will interpret. There will be a third person to accompany you into the men's room where you can take count. I hope you know Krugerands better than they know a <u>Hockney</u>.
-I improved on the fucking original.
-Let's hope so. Once you come out and okay everything I'll give Caitlin the sign that she can bring the painting on over.
-Got your badge?
-Satisfied, Wiseass?
-In any event, whatever occurs you do not belt anybody.
-Okay, okay, Lenore, calm down. Either let me call the school or better yet, the F.B.I.
-I thought you said you could handle him.
-Nels, don't let that cop pass you.
-Lose the hardware now.
-Don't fuck around. Pop a cap in him.
-He took it like a man. Toss him in that drainage ditch.
-Nels?
-I'm still in my cab -- jammed up in traffic. Are you there yet?
-Any minute.
-I was worried about you. Both of you.
-We've had our share of fuck-ups but it's going to work out fine.
-Do I know you?
-I've been trying to get someone -- anyone. For hours ...
-If this is some sales pitch I'm not buying --
-You don't understand.
-No. <u>You</u> don't understand! You caught me on my cellular on the way to pick up some business associates. And I've got no time to screw around.
-Will you let me explain!
-And what're you whispering for?
-Lady, try making some sense.
-You may be our only chance. I don't know if I can do this again.
-What'd you do! Just pick my number out of the air?
-They smashed the phone. I've been clicking the loose wires together hoping it'd make a connection.
-Who smashed the phone?
-They're holding my husband downstairs.
-Sure. And they left you upstairs to make phone calls?
-They gave me pills to make me sleep. They didn't realize how much Seconal I'm used to -- that I'd have so much tolerance --
-Well I'm not tolerant of being bothered with this bullshit story when I'm about to make the most important score of my life. This has gotta be some "put-on," right?
-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to do this to you.
-You're not doing anything to me -- because -- listen to this carefully -- I do not care.
-I don't believe you.
-You're the one who's not to be believed.
-My name is --
-I don't want to know --
-My name is Lenore Oberfeld.
-Don't expect me to tell you who I am.
-I realize you don't want to be involved.
-I am not involved. Keep clicking your little wires. You'll get someone else. Good luck.
-You won't disconnect.
-Oh won't I?
-Because you know you'll be killing us.
-Don't lay this on me!
-Why would anybody want to hurt you?
-They tortured my husband. Made him give them the pin numbers of our accounts. Once they get what's in the safe deposit box they'll kill us.
-Where'd they take you to?
-I have no idea. They put us in the back of a van with blacked out windows. The shutters up here are nailed shut.
-Well isn't there a number on the goddam phone?
-Okay. The police are gonna need your full name and address.
-No! No police. They'll know right away the authorities are looking for us. They'll kill us. We've seen their faces.
-The cops could trace this call back to you.
-One of them <u>is</u> a cop.
-What makes you say that?
-He pulled us over as we left the Riviera Tennis Club. Claimed we'd run a stop sign. And when Elliot was reaching for his license --
-Who?
-Elliot -- our driver. The officer put his gun to the back of Elliot's head and -- fired. It was so quick.
-Oh man. These people mean business.
-Then they took the Mercedes away -- with his body in it.
-No don't. You could lose me for good. Don't go through that tunnel.
-I'm in traffic. There's no place to turn.
-Please.
-Fine, no tunnel. Are you still with me? Hello?
-I hear them coming upstairs. I won't be able to talk for awhile. I have to lay the phone down and pretend to be asleep. So don't talk. Don't say a word or they'll hear it.
-I'm fine. She's back on. Hello? I'm here.
-They just walked out. The smaller man -- he must be Dominican or Haitian -- he kicked me so hard. I felt a rib crack but I never made a sound. It's starting to hurt now -- real bad. A throbbing. I can't even take a deep breath.
-I'm with two friends now.
-Rachel! They're going after Rachel now -- and I can't stop them.
-Stop throwing names at me.
-Rachel, my daughter. She's an honor student at Parker. My God, she's only nine.
-What do they need her for?
-They know Jack will give them what they want once they have her.
-The bigger man is driving our Mercedes to the school. Rachel will recognize the car. She'll get right in.
-Let me call the school -- tell them not to let her go.
-He's right. You'll get my whole family killed.
-"Theo?"
-Forget who I am. Where's this school located?
-26th off Wilshire.
-Even if I got there first she wouldn't go with me.
-Why isn't anyone answering me?
-Will you please speak to me! Theo?
-Hello? It's just me and you again.
-What about the others?
-I kind of dropped them off. They were getting on my nerves.
-What are you doing now?
-What do you think I'm doing? I'm on my way to the school like you wanted.
-Forget about us. Just save Rachel.
-Tell me what she looks like.
-They say she resembles me -- dark hair, ponytail, very dark eyes. They all wear the same uniform. Please. Be careful. The man driving the car must have a gun.
-Where's the fucking recharger cord? Must be in her car, dammit.
-How much time do you have left on it?
-I don't know. 80 or 90 minutes, tops.
-Why didn't you do what your friends wanted and just -- get rid of me?
-I don't know. I hung up on somebody else a long time ago, and later on I wished I hadn't of.
-A woman?
-Hey drop it, okay?
-I didn't mean to open up any old wounds.
-It never healed. I called her a lying bitch and everything else and I hung up on her. "Click." You don't exist.
-And that was the end of it?
-I sure as hell got my wish. She doesn't exist. So maybe you reached the appropriate person after all.
-I'm sorry if I caused you to lose your business deal.
-What do you do for a living?
-Sometimes I paint.
-Our house always needs touching up.
-Pictures.
-I didn't mean to insult you. You're an artist.
-I suppose if you're a struggling artist you need a patron.
-Lady, you don't have to keep up a running commentary.
-I'm afraid if I stop talking I'll lose you. Just name any reasonable amount and it's yours.
-Shit, stop with the money! I never asked for a nickel. I was just doing this. And you have to fuck it up with a price tag.
-I didn't mean to. It's just the way I am.
-A price on everything.
-I wasn't always like that. I don't think I was.
-I'm about ten blocks from the school.
-I have no right to ask for help. I've never thought of anybody but myself.
-That makes two of us.
-There are cables overhead. Hang on. It'll clear up.
-Make a right. You can't miss it.
-Lenore, I'm here. I'm getting out.
-I can hear you again, clearly.
-Does she have a red ribbon on that ponytail?
-Does she wear glasses?
-No.
-What's happening?
-She's gone --
-Don't say anything. Don't alarm them. Just go!
-He's copying down my license -- for all the good it'll do him.
-It's not your fault, Theo. You tried.
-I should've put them out of the car and come sooner!
-You said they wanted to get into some particular safety deposit box?
-The one in Brentwood.
-What bank?
-Wait just a minute. Our luck has changed.
-What do you mean?
-I'm not doing too well. What's the matter?
-I heard someone pulling in behind the house. I heard Rachel screaming and then she stopped all of a sudden. I don't know what they did to her.
-Which means you can't be more than five or ten minutes from here.
-Even if you found us -- what then?
-I'm cutting across to Bundy to Brentwood. That bank is our best bet. If anybody shows up I could follow them.
-Jack will negotiate with them. He'll identify the right key and give them the information they need to gain access and they'll let Rachel go.
-Not a chance.
-Don't say that.
-Do you know what's in that box?
-They'll recognize it's not your husband.
-Jack was only at that branch once when he took the box years ago.
-They've still got to be able to sign his name.
-It's not hard to do. I do it all the time.
-I'm pretty good at signatures myself.
-Oh my God. I heard her scream again. What are they doing to her? Why can't I do anything to stop them?
-You're doing what you can. Why's all this money stashed?
-To hide it from the I.R.S.
-How come everybody turns out to be a crook?
-Don't talk. Don't talk!
-What's going on?
-The front door slammed. Someone went out. There's a different car starting.
-I might still get there first. The lights are with me. How would I identify the guy who shows up at the bank?
-If it's the tall man -- he had one of those hair transplants. Tufts, you know. It still hasn't grown fully in. The other one is from the islands. Braided hair -- very dark.
-It won't be him.
-Theo, I want you to know, you're probably the most decent man I've ever met.
-Yeah, sure that's me. Ask anybody.
-But I guess we haven't really met -- have we?
-I've got a lot of respect for you too. For the way you feel about your family.
-Jack hasn't loved me for years. And now I'm afraid she's turning out to be like him. So cold and distant. I've let him make her like that.
-Why tell me this?
-Because you're probably the last person I'll ever talk to.
-You can't give up.
-Did you jiggle the phone?
-No.
-Did you hear that click?
-Yes -- I think so. Another crossed line?
-Or somebody else there is listening in --
-Downstairs. There must be an extension. Oh my God --
-No. I hear them. They're coming upstairs. They know!
-Yes? Yes?
-Hi Lenore. It's me. I got you back. Courtesy of Star 69. Are you hurt?
-They dragged me downstairs. I thought they were going to kill me.
-Lucky for them they didn't.
-What did you do?
-I had a little encounter at the bank and our Mr. Transplant ended up under the wheels of a Chevy.
-God, if he doesn't come back --
-I'm in possession of the bag he was carrying. And I'm in a position to negotiate. What about your husband and your child?
-Thank you. God bless you for helping us.
-Are you okay?
-They wrapped tape around my wrists and ankles.
-That's coming off. How about the girl?
-She's awake but she hasn't spoken. I don't know what they did to her. I don't want to think about it.
-Your husband?
-He's in back. Lying face down. They haven't hurt him anymore -- but he was crying. I never heard Jack cry before --
-You're all three of you in that van?
-Yes.
-Now you're going to do just what I tell you to. No discussion. No hesitation.
-Yes sir.
-Lenore -- you promised you'd follow instructions. We're almost there. Simply get out when they slide the van open and walk to me.
-I'm not leaving my daughter behind. Not with them.
-She's next. In two or three more minutes she'll be free.
-I can't do it.
-Don't start thinking about it. Is the tape off?
-Yes.
-Can you walk?
-Yes. But I want Rachel to come with me.
-They won't allow that. It's one at a time. And you have to be first.
-Why can't it be her?
-She's a child. She might panic. She doesn't know me. She might not come to me. She might just run.
-All right. Now that you explain it I see that you're right.
-Once you're in the car with me she's sure to come to us.
-Rachel -- Oh my God.
-It's locked.
-Rachel was terrified when I left her. I could see it in her eyes.
-She'll be with you soon. They're pulling up. They'll realize I kept my part of the bargain.
-She'll never be the same. None of us will.
-Now I have -- it's a long story.
-Why didn't you just shoot them?
-Because a lot of people would've gotten killed. Probably all the wrong ones.
-You're going to let them get away with this?
-We've almost got your husband and your daughter out. So don't get any ideas.
-They tortured us. And you're going to let them have all that money?
-So far they're keeping their part of it.
-They put their hands all over me.
-For Christ sakes don't point it at me. We want to get Rachel out of there in one piece. I'm waiting for the girl. Her mother wants to talk to her.
-He had a gun. I have it now.
-Why are you telling him that. Are you crazy?
-You're not Lenore Oberfeld.
-There isn't any such person.
-Whose money is this?
-It belongs to the man you took it from. Or should I saw <u>stole</u> it from?
-The guy with the transplant.
-Jack Oberfeld in person. Did you kill him?
-Damned if I know.
-The video cameras will put you with him in the bank, and I'll bet there were enough witnesses.
-At least one.
-Plus they'll remember you going after his daughter at school.
-You timed that beautifully.
-They always pick Rachel up early on Thursday.
-I got what I fucking deserved. I had it all. I could've kept going!
-As they say -- no good deed goes unpunished.
-And all that crap about your driver being murdered by a cop --
-I thought it was inspired.
-Sit completely still with both hands on the wheel -- until they get here.
-Why pick me to be your "mark?"
-Nobody's easier to con than a con man.
-Who's in back?
-L.A.P.D.
-Your friends are probably still on the line. Pick it up and say hello.
-There's no way out for you. You have to deal with us.
-Tell them I'm keeping what's left. I earned it. I probably killed some poor bastard for it.
-He seems to think he's entitled to it all.
-Not all. They already have a third. The question is how much of that are they willing to give to get you back?
-You won't shoot me. That's not your style.
-We might hit a bump and the gun might go off. Ever see that Tarantino movie -- where Travolta blew that guy away in the back seat -- purely by accident?
-Do you have to point that?
-Absolutely. And Topanga Canyon has a hell of a lot of potholes if I recall.
-He seems to be headed for Topanga.
-I'm not trying to lose them. Nor am I exceeding any speed limits.
-The one thing you don't want is to attract the police.
-Granted, the cops are not an alternative. Certainly not with one of their own still locked in my trunk.
-I don't hear him moving around anymore.
-Those shots your associates got off may not have done him too much good. That's on their head. All I did I was put him there.
-A typical fuck-up.
-What's that supposed to me?
-I knew you were a loser the first night I laid eyes on you.
-You, I would've noticed.
-Oh no, you were too busy trying to keep some Croatian from slapping the shit out of his girlfriend. She showed her gratitude by almost taking your eye out with her spiked heel.
-You were at the Emerald that night?
-Naturally you didn't learn your lesson.
-I guess I ought to stop seeing woman as victims.
-I think it was my tone of voice more than anything else that sold you. And when you thought I was being kicked around, I wish I could've seen your face.
-Now you're starting to sound like a victim again.
-You could've hit me.
-Only in the leg or the thigh. You'd live but you just wouldn't wear shorts.
-You wouldn't --
-Yes I would. Not kill you. But blow off a few toes, absolutely. I'm entitled to that as retribution. It'll help you to remember me in years to come -- every time you put on stockings. They must have prosthetic toes by now -- with little nails on them you can polish --
-Stop talking like that!
-I'm still okay.
-Inform him the fee is seventy-five large for your return. All parts intact.
-He wants 75 back.
-Plus names, addresses and I.D. for the lot of you. We're in this together and I need to know who my partners are. In case I ever need to roll over on somebody.
-Did you hear that?
-It could be a fire. This is Malibu.
-No, there's a police car way back there. See it, in the distance coming around the turn? The van is blocking it now.
-What's Nels' number?
-259-7881.
-Do you think they'll walk away?
-They'll have units blocking us up ahead.
-That's why we're turning off onto a fire road.
-What's happening?
-I can't hear. Now there's a siren. They must be in an ambulance. What about the money? Nels?
-Wonderful feeling of security knowing your adversaries are both crippled and unarmed.
-Any idea where you're going?
-I was sentenced to a youth camp out here when I was fourteen. We cleared some of these same roads.
-They did some great job of reforming you.
-That's where this Chicano correctional officer first taught me to slap paint on a canvas. I could copy any fucking thing he put in front of me.
-Think you could do a picture of me?
-Developer ran out of money years back. I'd hate to think about what's living in there.
-Why are we stopping?
-Who'd ever think, to look at you?
-As a child I hated being told how sweet I looked. That angelic little face wasn't me at all. I had to hurt people to prove to them they had the wrong image. Sometimes words were enough -- but I wasn't beyond inflicting physical pain in order to be taken seriously. I enjoyed seeing the shock on their poor faces when they realized who
-You've had a lot of fun with me today. What would you have done if I hadn't responded to your call?
-Yeah, I was waiting for that suggestion.
-Sooner or later you'll learn to trust me.
-What's really on your wicked little mind?
-The cop in the trunk -- he could still be alive.
-That's a reasonable possibility.
-He might've heard everything we said in the car.
-What's your point?
-We can't leave him to repeat anything.
-Which one of us is elected to do the deed?
-You're the man with the gun.
-Naturally.
-Naturally.
-Maybe your friends already accomplished that chore for us.
-I'm going to cuff you and leave you in that house. It may take awhile but you'll be found after we're long gone.
-That's not good enough.
-I'm handling it.
-Both hands on your lap.
-Just sitting here listening to her voice does it to me all over again. No harm admitting I fell in love with the sound of you.
-Some nice fantasy you all cooked up for me.
-Took preparation.
-Exactly who was this Oberfeld?
-Know what else is in here?
-Think about what's going to happen to your valuables when that trunk flies open at 75 miles per?
-You won't live to see it.
-It's going to be some fucking snowstorm.
-Five ... six.
-I picked the wrong number when I chose you ... didn't I?
-Turns out you did me a favor. You're looking at a rich man.
-I've got ... one last number for you, Theo ...
-I don't want it.
-My fence in San Francisco ... 305-4410. Maurice. Don't take less than a third on the face value of those bonds.
-Sure, like I'm gonna take advice from you.
-Thank God -- thank God I've got you.
-Who is this?
-Oh God -- Oh no -- Help me -- Don't let me -- Die.
-Didn't we play this scene before?
-Don't leave me here to die -- Theo, please -- you can't let me die --
-Who are you working for?
-I'm self employed. What kind of cut did the hairy one have?
-Twenty percent.
-Fine. I want half. Plus the release of the family.
-You're making it too easy.
-You got time on your side. Pretty soon they'll be missed and we'll have the law up our ass.
-They saw you kill the driver.
-You're up on your details, aren't you?
-You can rely on them to keep quiet because this is undeclared money that could land Jack there in federal prison. He can't afford for you to get caught and have this briefcase appear as evidence.
-You're walking away with a clear fifty percent and a guarantee nobody can afford to I.D. you.
-There are no guarantees in this life.
-Where do we meet?
-It's a nice day. How about the beach?
-Pass.
-A large stretch of empty space with no place to hide. Temescal Canyon parking lot.
-What time frame have you got in mind?
-It should take me twenty minutes. Where are you coming from?
-I want you all in one vehicle. Your van. If I see anybody else cruising around I'll keep going. No second chances. You can kill them and I'll keep what I've got.
-Some loyalty.
-There's no loyalty at the expense of my own ass.
-Tell the lady to relax. Tell her I can't wait to meet her in person.
-She's somewhat damaged in the shipping. But nothing makeup won't cover.
-Got a phone in that van?
-Sure.
-Take my number. When you see me -- call me and I'll walk you through the exchange. It's 308-9962 -- Repeat it back.
-308-9962.
-Beats yelling our brains out across some parking lot.
-You're getting a lot of mileage out of that cellular.
-I'm here. Where are you?
-We don't see you.
-I'm three quarters of the way up the lot behind the concession stand.
-Stay there.
-I don't want you within two hundred feet. Park down by the lifeguard station. Nobody gets out.
-It's your call.
-Fucking "A" it is! Any argument and I'm out of here.
-Just relax.
-I don't need to relax. The woman. Put her on.
-You'll see her.
-I don't want to see her later. I want to hear her <u>now</u>.
-Satisfied?
-You already tried to pull one little number on me -- and it didn't work.
-I don't know what you mean.
-I still don't see you.
-We're waiting on you.
-Then just wait. I'm counting this all out and deducting my share. While I'm at it you can be getting that tape off the lady. And her little girl.
-It's in the process.
-I make my end of the cash at 184,000. Now I'm trying to figure out the bonds. What the face value is.
-You should've done all this before.
-I'm not accepting criticism today. Now don't make me lose count. There's already a half million in this portfolio.
-Her husband said there'd be one million eight. So nine hundred to you.
-My pleasure --
-Be careful in disposing of them. You'll have to discount 'em. You'll be lucky to clear a hundred and a quarter.
-Thanks for the sound advice. Now ask the woman to get out of the van and walk over here. Alone.
-Negative.
-You'll still have the girl and the husband.
-And not a nickel.
-Soon as Mrs. Oberfeld is in my car I'll toss out your first third. Then I'll back up 200 feet to behind the public restroom.
-And then?
-You pull up -- collect your first installment. Then you let the daughter go. When she reaches me, I'll dump out another third. Same action. I back up again -- you pull forward. Satisfy yourself it's there. Then we do it one last time. The final exchange. And we go our separate ways.
-And they run straight to the cops who start looking for our van.
-I'm opening the side door. She'll step out. But before she gets in your vehicle I want to see the first installment put down in plain view. If it isn't there I'm shooting her in the back.
-Are you trying to panic the women?
-That's how it is. You see her approaching you toss out installment one.
-Stop the crying.
-She's yours. What are we waiting on?
-Count it.
-Don't worry.
-Seems like it.
-Yeah. Why don't we?
-What's he doing? Answer me!
-Who am I talking to?
-Call me "Nels."
-Okay Nels, you can always keep what you've got and haul ass leaving the lovely lady for me to worry about. I'll bet she can be friendly when it's in her best interests.
-If you're looking for a quickie all you've got to do is ask.
-If he pulls me over he gets all the proceeds plus Lenore here.
-And if you ditch us we get zilch.
-You're going to have to see to it that both lanes of this road get blocked.
-The fuck I will!
-You researched me. You know where I live. She'll be waiting for you there along with your split.
-There's two police cars now.
-Tailgate me. I'll jam on the brakes. You go into a spin to avoid an accident and cut them off.
-You want us to get ourselves killed?
-From what I can see you're a pretty fair wheelman. There's a hairpin coming up -- that's the place for it. The cops'll plow right into you.
-And I end up in a fucking neck brace for life!
-Yeah?
-I just strolled out of the emergency room while they were admitting Rodriego.
-Yeah?
-Nels! Guess who? A friendly voice from beyond the grave.
-Who's this?
-I thought you'd know me by now.
-What does it take to kill you?
-I suppose you're in your taxi?
-Why would she want me to think you were on ice?
-Intelligent question, Nels. I believe she had plans for both our bodies to be found in close proximity.
-That bitch. What's keeping you from taking off?
-I can see the benefit in that.
-You could always disappear with what's already in your backpack.
-Not without the name of the contact who can discount the bonds. I may need to pry that information out of her. What do you stand to gain?
-In the hills above Sunset. Just below the Getty.
-How far off are you?
-Five minutes.
-Where do I turn?
-Take the Getty Center exit -- make a right onto Cisco. It'll be a narrow winding road. You can't miss the house. It's a mansion built back in '29 -- Spanish -- boarded up since the quake.
-Have your cab wait at the foot of Cisco -- we'll ride up together.
-And make ourselves a hell of a target.
-We're gonna get there first.
-How do you know?
-Better haul ass if we're gonna be inside to greet them.
-I've got a couple of spare pieces stashed under the floorboards.
-Where's the backpack?
-None of your business, but it's in the cab. That's all mine. When we take from them, we divide, eighty-twenty.
-Probably as close to the Getty as I'll ever come. Unless you care to be my "patron," Nels. You wouldn't be the first successful thief to become a patron of the arts.
-In your dreams.
-Don't underestimate me. I've got original ideas of my own. Warhol got famous doing a soup can. What would you think of a cellular phone done in acrylics?
-Somebody better tear this down before it falls down.
-Who were you talking to?
-Them. They won't be expecting us.
-Brilliant -- unless they were close enough to see the cab pull away. In which case you just warned them.
-I'm in awe.
-Since when did you guys start changing tires?
-Only you <u>don't</u> have a flat.
-Seems not.
-If you weren't going for a spare what were you doing?
-Something was rattling around. Some loose tools.
-Why are you picking on me for?
-Was I picking on you? How come you pulled in back of this fruitstand?
-Don't be afraid to say hello. Your friend with the recent transplant is in no condition to deliver that briefcase. So I've taken on the task.
-Who are you?
-Let me talk to the lady again.
-There's no lady here.
-If you've already killed her that's fine. I'll keep the bonds and the cash. We got nothing to discuss.
-Hold on.
-If her kid or her old man have been harmed we've also got nothing to talk about.
-I already called for an ambulance.
-You've got a <u>phone</u>?
-Can I make a quick call?
-Government business?
-What kind of Treasury Dept. business is this?
-Undercover.
-I thought so.
-The 405 is coming up.
-Let's have your name and address. The government will want to send you a letter of commendation.
-You sure know how to take a lot of punishment.
-Scottish?
-So can we consider you a regular, sir?
-Is that good or bad?
-So let's call this the usual.
-It takes all types.
-So who's he?
-He's what she should run a mile from.
-Then why doesn't she?
-She wants me to tell you go fuck yourself.
-You could always make it up to her.
-How?
-When a girl runs out like that, she generally wants to be followed.
-She's not a girl, Col --
-See that, Col?
-See what, Dil?
-He gave me a look.
-Just cut his hair, you know.
-Yeah?
-What you think?
-Saw that one.
-What would you call it?
-Now he can look.... Ask him does he like his hair, Col.
-He agreed that he was.
-What do you think his name is?
-That's what he said. Jimmy.
-He's still looking, Col.
-Persistent.
-Good thing in a man.
-An excellent quality.
-Maybe he wants something.
-Ask him.
-He's back, Col
-Hi.
-Don't want any of those looks, Col. They don't mean much.
-Stop it, Dil --
-You see that, Col?
-Saw it, Dil.
-Fuck it, is what I say.
-Yeah. Fuck it, Dil.
-Fuck off, Dave.
-You fucking promised.
-Did I?
-Don't be like that --
-Thank you.
-Who the fuck is he?
-Jimmy.
-It's him, isn't it?
-See, they get the wrong idea.
-Cunt. Scrag-eyed dyke cunt.
-He's going to take his foot off slowly, David. Then you're to go home, like a good boy. You hear me?
-Hey, Stirling fucking Moss --
-Sure, Dave --
-Take your clothes.
-Don't throw my clothes out the window!
-Fuck off back to Essex!
-Don't chuck my clothes out!
-Look, I'm sorry.
-Fuck off, Dave.
-No, I won't fucking fuck off. Said I'm sorry, didn't I?
-It's not Pat. It's Jim.
-Do you mean that?
-Is that his tart? Does Pat have a tart?
-She's not a tart.
-No, of course not, she's a lady.
-Do it on your own time, Paddy.
-What?
-If I was her I'd consider that an insult.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-How much did that frame cost, Mr. Franknum?
-Two hundred quid, Mr. Deveroux.
-Sorry won't bring the bloody thing back, will it, Mr. Franknum?
-Not in my experience.
-I'm sure you do, Mr. Deveroux.
-Someone recommend you?
-In a way.
-Who?
-Guy I work with.
-Doesn't the water get to your nails?
-What's it to you?
-You American?
-No.
-No.
-Scottish?
-How'd you guess?
-The accent, I suppose.
-And what's it like?
-That should make her happy.
-Who's she?
-Tell her I'm very happy with it.
-Jimmy.
-Everybody wants something.
-Not me.
-You old-fashioned?
-Hi.
-What was that?
-You all right?
-Yes, thank you.
-What was that all about?
-He wants me to perform for him.
-Perform?
-You know.
-You on the game?
-He's getting up.
-You want me to ask you in, right?
-No, I didn't --
-Now, if you asked me to meet you tomorrow, it would really drive him insane.
-Where?
-Give me that look again.
-What look?
-What's that about?
-They're jealous.
-Why?
-Now's the time you're meant to do something, isn't it?
-Like what?
-Make a pass or something. Isn't that the way it goes?
-You got a special friend, Jimmy?
-How special?
-Jesus Christ!
-That Dave?
-Piss off, Dave!
-Tough guy, huh? Are you going to be all right on your own?
-Would you like a drink?
-Yes, please.
-What'll it be?
-Someone out there.
-Sorry. How'd he drive with his neck in a brace?
-Must be in love to manage that.
-He lived here with you?
-He was different.
-How different?
-As different as it's possible to be.
-Tell me about him.
-No.
-Shouldn't I go?
-No --
-You want to know how I kissed him?
-Yes...
-Are you jealous of him?
-Maybe.
-What would he think?
-Do you miss him?
-What do you think?
-I think you do.
-You say that like a gentleman.
-Do I?
-But you can t stay, you know that?
-Didn't think I could.
-Shouldn't you be in mourning?
-Did he come here too?
-Is this an obsession of yours?
-Maybe.
-He did sometimes.
-So what do you want with me, Jimmy?
-Want to look after you.
-What does that mean?
-You mean that?
-Why?
-Drink.
-What is this?
-Can't leave me now.
-Aha.
-The thing is, can you go the distance?
-Depends what it is.
-What you thinking of, hon?
-I'm thinking of your man.
-Why?
-I'm wondering why you keep his things.
-Did he ever tell you you were beautiful?
-Even now.
-No...
-Tell him to stop messing Dil around --
-Dil --
-Tell him it hurt --
-Come on, Dil --
-Never let the sun go down on an argument, Jody used to say.
-What you doing here?
-Got your note. So let's kiss and make up, hon.
-Don't call me that.
-Sorry, darling.
-Give it over, Dil --
-You're something else, Dil, you know that?
-See, I was always best looking after someone. Must be something in the genes.
-Must be.
-You could?
-Do you care, Jimmy?
-Sure I do.
-You mean that?
-My, oh my, Jimmy, how gallant.
-Shut up.
-Made me feel all funny inside.
-I said stop it.
-Ask me to meet you again, Jimmy.
-You think that's wise?
-I didn't mean to hit you.
-Kind of liked you as a girl.
-That's a start.
-So I'm sorry.
-Make it up to me, then.
-How?
-Ask to meet me again.
-Will you meet me again?
-When?
-Do they know?
-Know what, honey?
-Know what I didn't know. And don't call me that.
-Can't help it, Jimmy. A girl has her feelings.
-Details, baby, details.
-So they do know.
-Don't.
-Sorry.
-I should have known, shouldn't I?
-Probably.
-Kind of wish I didn't.
-You can always pretend.
-That's true.... Your soldier knew, didn't he?
-Absolutely.
-Won't be quite the same though, will it?
-Are you pretending yet?
-There's Dave. He knew too.
-Am I becoming repetitious?
-A little.
-Don't ask me in.
-Please, Jimmy.
-No. Can't pretend that much.
-I miss you, Jimmy.
-Should have stayed a girl.
-Don't be cruel.
-Okay. Be a good girl and go inside.
-Happy now?
-What?
-He'd bring me carnations.
-So I got it wrong, then.
-Not at all, honey.
-Don't.
-Come on.
-Why, honey --
-Come on.
-You gonna tell me why?
-What's wrong, Jimmy? Tell me what's wrong --
-Dil, this is Jude.
-It's her, isn't it?
-What's her?
-She's the thing you had to tell me.
-Kind of.
-Shouldn't be, Dil
-She own you, Jimmy?
-Yes.
-She from Scotland too?
-You could say that.
-And you're not going to tell me more?
-What you doing, Jimmy?
-I'm not sure.
-Do you like me even a little bit?
-You do something for me, Dil?
-Anything.
-You'd do anything for me?
-Afraid so.
-You want another haircut, baby?
-You said anything, Dil
-A girl has to draw the line somewhere --
-Why?
-It's a secret.
-You'd like me better that way, Jimmy?
-Yes.
-And you wouldn't leave me?
-No.
-You promise?
-You're no good at this, Jimmy.
-You want to make me look like him...
-So it's true, then?
-What?
-You like me better like this.
-Don't call me that --
-Why?
-For me.
-Why are we going here, Jimmy?
-Dil! Dil! What the fuck are you doing here?
-I'm going home!
-Told you to stay in the hotel!
-I had to go to work!
-Come on...
-So tell me.
-I was trying to get out of something.
-You got to forget you ever saw me, Dil.
-You mean that?
-You heard what I said, Dil?
-What pills?
-Prescription. For my condition.
-Are you supposed to take that many?
-Are you all right, Dil?
-Good-bye, Dil
-Jimmy?
-What?
-Dil Can I tell you something? I knew your man.
-You knew which man?
-Your soldier.
-Lifted him from a carnival in Belfast. Held him hostage for three days.
-You knew my Jody?
-Yes.
-I got the order to shoot him. Before I could do it he ran. Ran into a tank and died.
-Died...
-You killed my Jody?
\ No newline at end of file
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-In a manner of speaking.
-You killed my Jody
-No.
-You didn't.
-I suppose I tried.
-You tried.
-Don't leave me tonight. Might kill me, too.
-Wondered why you came on to me like that when you gave me the look.
-See, I fix on anyone that's nice to me. Just the littlest bit nice and I'm yours.
-Stop it, Dil --
-See, I should blow you away, Jimmy. But I can't do that. Yet.
-Why?
-Got to be somewhere.
-Let me go for fuck's sake, Dil -- or they'll be here
-You like me now, Jimmy?
-I like you, Dil --
-Give me a bit more, baby, a bit more.
-More endearments.
-I like you, DIl
-Love me.
-Yes.
-Tell me you love me.
-Whatever you say, Dil.
-Then say it.
-Love you, Dil.
-You do?
-Yeah.
-What would you do for me?
-Say it again.
-And you'll never leave me?
-Never.
-What was that she called you, Jimmy?
-What's Fergus?
-It's my name, Dil --
-Dil!!!
-She was --
-And she used her tits and that cute little ass to get him, didn't she?
-Yes.
-Tell me what she wore.
-You've got to go now, Dil --
-Do I?
-Yes. Now.
-Am I in trouble, Jimmy?
-Not if you go.
-Will I see you again?
-Promise?
-I promise.
-Where am I to go, Jimmy?
-The Metro.
-Meet Col --
-Got you the multivitamins and the iron tablets, hon --
-Sorry, love. Now, the white ones are magnesium supplement --
-Stop it, Dil --
-I've got to keep you healthy, Jimmy. I'm counting the days. Two thousand three hundred and thirty-four left.
-Thirty-five.
-I'm sorry, darling. I keep forgetting the leap year. What am I supposed to call you then, Jimmy?
-Fergus.
-Fergus. Fergus my love, light of my life - -
-Please, Dil --
-Can't help it. You're doing time for me. No greater love, as the man says. Wish you'd tell me why.
-As the man said, it's in my nature.
-Lucky you.
-What was it?
-You know her, Jimmy?
-Yeah. Just checking. He being nice to you, Dil?
-Ever so nice. Aren't you, Jimmy?
-That's good. I'm glad. Young love, as they say.
-Don't go looking for it, Dil.
-Well, maybe you'll get lucky. Someday.
-A bit heavy on the powder, isn't she, Jimmy?
-A girl has to have a bit of glamour.
-Fergus!
-You'll notice I've asked you nothing.
-That's wise, Tommy.
-So what do you need, Fergus?
-Need to go across the water.
-Do you now.
-Need to lose myself awhile.
-See does he want some.
-Hey -- what's he like?
-Horny bastard.
-Did you give him it?
-There are certain things I wouldn't do for my country.
-Have a look at him.
-Can't.
-Poke him or something. See if he's still alive.
-He's all right.
-You don't know that.
-Tough work, that.
-Leave us, Judie.
-Put that thing back on him, Fergus.
-He's hot.
-What was it, Fergus? Did you blow the gaff on us or did you just fuck up?
-Leave me alone, Jude.
-No. That's the last thing I'll do. You never asked what happened.
-I heard.
-Eddie and Tinker died.
-I know.
-Maguire and me got out by the skin of our teeth. No thanks to you.... What you think of the hair?
-We had a court-martial in your absence. They wanted to put a bullet in your head. I pleaded for clemency. Said we should find out what happened first. So what did happen?
-He ran. I couldn't shoot him in the back. I tried to catch him. He made it to the road and got hit by a Saracen.
-So you did fuck up.
-Yes.
-But you know what the thing is, Fergus?
-No, what is the thing?
-You vanished quite effectively. Became Mister Nobody. And you've no idea how useful that could be.
-What do you mean?
-We've got some plans here. And we'll need a Mister Nobody to execute them.
-No way, Jude. I'm out.
-Leave her out of this.
-She's nobody. She likes me.
-But, then, I don't have a choice.
-Och, you do, Fergie.
-Of course. I forgot.
-And then you'll leave her out of it?
-And what if I say no?
-You were made for this.
-Was I?
-Perfect.
-And what happens then?
-We'll be on the other side. We'll move when you do.
-And what if you don't?
-Fergus, I think you don't trust me.
-You may be right.
-Jude?
-Yes?
-Who's the old geezer?
-You a handyman, Fergie?
-I take pride in my work.
-Dil!
-Give him a cup of tea.
-Made the front page. They'll move now, the fuckers.
-Request permission to take the hood off, Tommy.
-Why would you do that?
-The poor whore's suffocating in the heat.
-So?
-And anyway, he's seen our faces.
-You sure?
-You're his keeper. If you don't mind him seeing you, I don't mind. But you're the only one he looks at.
-Thanks.
-What the fuck is this?
-It's nothing. He's just got a sense of humor, that's all.
-So he knows your name?
-I told him.
-Back in a minute, Jody
-You'll have minimal contact with the prisoner, do you hear me?
-Yes.
-And do you know why?
-Why?
-You OK about that?
-I'm a volunteer, am n't I?
-Shut up, Jude. You best get some sleep tonight, Fergus.
-Peter.
-What?
-Why do you want to do that for?
-Would make me feel better about it.
-You sure about that?
-I'm sure.
-So it was you all the time.
-Who'd you think it was?
-I thought it was Dave.
-And who's Dave when he's at home?
-He's at home.
-Should blow you away, you know that?
-I'm getting emotional. And I don't want to get fucking emotional -- you understand, Hennessy?
-I understand.
-And what's she like between the sheets?
-Definitely unusual.
-And who is she?
-Just a girl.
-And you know what'll happen if you fuck up again, don't you?
-Aye, I do, Peter.
-So what do you think that is, Hennessy?
-A hotel?
-Who is he?
-Thank God for that.
-You being cynical, Hennessy?
-Hope not.
-Good. So what do you think?
-Whoever hits him'll be hit, if those men are any good. And I presume you can't get in.
-Right.
-So it's on the street.
-Right.
-Fuck you.
-Eat something, would you?
-Can't.
-What do you mean you can't?
-This is a farce, man.
-How is it a farce?
-I seen your fucking face.
-So, what do I look like?
-You're the one about five ten with the killer smile and the baby face.
-Am I?
-Thank you, handsome.
-How did you know it was her?
-Please, man, I'm suffocating in here.
-Now, if you took the ropes off, I'd be able to feed myself.
-No fucking way.
-What's that?
-Five ten. Brown eyes. But you're no pinup.
-No?
-Nope. Not handsome at all.
-You trying to hurt my feelings?
-No. It's the truth.
-Well, I could say the same about you.
-Could you?
-But I won't. We're more polite around these parts.
-Hey --
-What is it now?
-You're going to have to do it, aren't you?
-Do what?
-What makes you think that?
-They're going to let that guy die. And you're going to kill me.
-They won't let him die.
-You want to bet?
-I'm not a gambling man.
-And even if he doesn't die -- you can't just let me loose.
-Why can't we?
-Not in your nature.
-What do you know about my nature?
-I'm talking about your people, not you.
-What the fuck do you know about my people?
-Only that you're all tough undeluded motherfuckers. And that it's not in your nature to let me go.
-Shut the fuck up, would you?
-And you know the funny thing?
-No, what's the funny thing?
-Didn't look like that to me...
-C'mere.
-No.
-Ah, c'mere. I want to show you something.
-What?
-She'd be anyone's type.
-Don't you think of it, fucker.
-Why not?
-She's mine. Anyway, she wouldn't suit you.
-No?
-Absolutely not.
-She your wife?
-You make a nice couple.
-Don't I know it.
-So what were you fucking around for, then?
-You fuckers set me up. That bitch --
-She's a friend of mine
-Okay. That nice lady. Meets me in a bar. I'm saying what the fuck am I doing here anyway. She buys me a drink. She holds my hand. I'm looking at her saying I don't like you, bitch. But what the fuck. Maybe I'll get to understand.
-What the fuck am I doing here.
-What the fuck were you doing here?
-I got sent.
-You could have said no.
-Can't. Once I signed up.
-Why did you sign up?
-It was a job. So I get sent to the only place in the world they call you nigger to your face.
-Shouldn't take it personally.
-"Go back to your banana tree, nigger." No use telling them I came from Tottenham.
-And you play cricket?.
-Best game in the world.
-Ever see hurling?
-That game where a bunch of paddies whack sticks at each other?
-Best game in the world.
-Never.
-Well, in Antigua cricket's the black man's game. The kids play it from the age of two. My daddy had me throwing googlies from the age of five. Then we moved to Tottenham and it was something different.
-How different?
-So when you come to shoot me, Paddy, remember, you're getting rid of a shit- hot bowler.
-Nice to meet you, Fergus.
-Take it easy, now. Just go slow. Down by that tree.
-Can't.
-Now, that was worth waiting for.
-Hurry up, would you?
-Now put it back in.
-Thank you. I had a case of the clap two years ago. Crabs in Ulster. But all in all it's served me well.
-Shut up, would you?
-Fergus?
-Yeah?
-So what's that supposed to mean?
-Means what it says. The scorpion does what is in his nature. Take off the hood, man.
-Why?
-See? I was right about you.
-Don't be so sure.
-Where would you most like to be now, man?
-Doesn't matter where.
-Come on, man. If this shit was all over.
-Having a pint in the Rock.
-You lack imagination, Fergus. Think of something more alluring.
-Like what?
-Having two pints in the Rock.
-Having a pint in the Metro, and Dil's having a margarita.
-Who's Dil?
-My special friend.
-Oh, yeah.
-We got simple tastes, you and me.
-The best.
-But you fellas never get a break, do you?
-Do you?
-Oh, yes. We do a tour of duty and we're finished. But you guys are never finished, are you?
-We don't look on it like that.
-I've often wondered how you do it.
-Depends on what you believe in.
-What do you believe in?
-That you guys shouldn't be here.
-It's as simple as that?
-Is it bad?
-No. Not bad. Women are trouble, you know that, Fergus?
-I didn't.
-She can't help it.
-Dil wasn't trouble. No trouble at all.
-You liked her?
-Present tense, please. Love her. Whatever she is. I'm thinking of her now, Fergus. Will you think of her too?
-Don't know her.
-Want you to do something, Fergus.
-What?
-If they kill me --
-Don't think that way.
-See if she's all right.
-I don't know her.
-Take the whole lot. I won't need it.
-I told you not to talk that way --
-Go to Millie's Hair Salon in Spitalfields. Take her to the Metro for a margarita. Don't have to tell her who you are. Just tell her Jody was thinking --
-Don't.
-Help me.
-How can I?
-Go to sleep now.
-I don't want to sleep. Tell me something.
-What?
-A story.
-Like the one about the frog?
-And the scorpion. No. Tell me anything.
-When I was a child...
-Yeah?
-I thought as a child. But when I became a man I put away childish things...
-Nothing.
-Not a lot of use, are you, Fergus?
-Take the hood off, Fergus --
-I'm glad you're doing it, do you know that, Fergus?
-Why?
-Cause you're my friend. And I want you to go to the Metro --
-Stop that talk now --
-Hurling's a fast game, isn't it, Fergus?
-The fastest.
-Faster than cricket?
-Cricket's in the halfpenny place.
-So if I ran now, there's no way I'd beat you, is there?
-You won't run.
-You stupid bastard --
-What you say, faster?
-I said you bastard -- stop --
-Used to run the mile, you know -- four times round the cricket pitch -- what was that game called?
-Hurling --
-What?
-The teddy bear?
-Don't run off, Jude.
-What if I did?
-Never pissed holding a girl's hand, Jude.
-You didn't?
-And you know what?
-Not here.
-Who gives a fuck.
-I never know nothing.
-Come and get me, soldier --
-See, if we took the hood off, we'd have to shoot you. As it is, you've got a fifty-fifty chance.
-Thought you liked me, bitch.
-It was fun while it lasted.
-Have you no feelings, woman?
-You're heading for trouble, Fergus --
-I said shut the fuck up --
-You're crazy. Don't let him, Peter.
-Leave him alone, Peter. He's in love.
-That fucker's dead --
-Give me the shooter, Jude --
-You're crazy --
-Now Dyle, you listen to me -- my mama didn't raise no stupid children. I know who's got the money 'n I ain't disappearing till I got my share -- 'n' my share's growin' a whole lot bigger ev'ry day.
-Where are you, ol' buddy?
-All right -- where's the letter?
-The letter? The letter ain't worth nuthin'.
-You know what I mean -- the envelope with the stamps. I want it.
-You greenhorn -- you half-witted, thick-skulled, hare-brained, greenhorn! They wuz both too smart for us!
-What are you talking about?
-Oh, come on!
--- there has to be a darn good reason for living the way you do. I want to know what it is.
-It's simple. I like what I do -- I enjoy doing it. There aren't many men who love their work as much as I do. Look around some time.
-Is there a Mrs. Canfield?
-I could eat a horse.
-I think that's what you ordered.
-Don't you dare to be civil with me! All this time you were leading me on --
-How was I leading you on?
-All that marvelous rejection -- you knew I couldn't resist it. Now it turns out you were only interested in the money.
-That's right.
-Oh!
-What would you like me to say -- that a pretty girl with an outrageous manner means more to an old pro like me than a quarter of a million dollars?
-No -- I guess not.
-It's a toss-up, I can tell you that.
-What?
-Oh, you should see your face.
-What about it?
-What's the matter?
-Adam!
-You don't look so bad in this light.
-Why do you think I brought you here?
-I thought maybe you wanted me to see the kind of work the competition was turning out.
-Pretty good, huh? I taught them everything they do.
-Oh? Did they do that sort of thing way back in your day?
-Aren't you allowed to kiss back?
-When you come on, you really come on.
-I know why you're not taken -- no one can catch up with you.
-That wraps it up -- Tex has the money. Go back to bed -- I'll let you know when I've found him.
-You're going to look for him -- now?
-If the police find him first they're not very likely to turn over a quarter of a million dollars to us, are they?
-Adam --
-What is it?
-I think we were wrong about Tex having the money.
-Why?
-I just heard from him -- he's still hungry. That means killing Gideon didn't get it for him -- so he's narrowed it down to us. You've got it.
-I've looked, Adam -- you know I have --
-Where's that airlines bag?
-Lord, you're stubborn.
-But everyone and his Aunt Lilian's been through that bag. Somebody would have seen it.
-Let's look anyway.
-Lord, you're stubborn.
-Electric razor -- comb -- steamship ticket -- fountain pen -- four passports -- toothbrush -- wallet -- key -- what about that?
-To the apartment -- it matches mine perfectly.
-It still doesn't make sense, but it isn't worth any quarter of a million either. Have we forgotten anything?
-Heroin -- peppermint-flavored heroin.
-Well, I guess that's it -- dead end.
-Go to bed. You've got to be at work in the morning. There's nothing more we can do tonight.
-I love you, Adam.
-Yes, you told me.
-Reggie -- I think I've found -- are you on?
-No, it's all right. What's wrong, Adam?
-You're right. I remember Grandpierre looking through it. But there was nothing in it -- at least, nothing that the police thought was very important.
-Can you remember anything at all?
-Grandpierre asked me about an appointment Charles had -- on the day he was killed.
-With whom? Where?
-I think it only said where -- but I can't --
-Think, Reggie, you've got to think -- it may be what we're looking for.
-That money's not ours, Adam -- if we keep it, we'll be breaking the law.
-Nonsense. We didn't steal it. There's no law against stealing stolen money.
-Of course there is!
-There is? Well, I can't say I think very much of a silly law like that. Think, Reggie -- please think -- what was written in Charles' notebook?
-as outlined in report number three- nine-stroke-five-two of the Western Hemisphere Conference held on March 22 -- no wait! It was last Thursday, five o'clock at the Jardin des Champs- Élysées! Adam -- that was it! The garden!
-Now what?
-Five o'clock -- Thursday -- the Garden -- it's got to be something around here.
-But Charles' appointment was last week, not --
-I know, but this is all we've got left.
-Well, you're right there. Ten minutes ago I had a job.
-It's hopeless -- I don't even know what we're looking for.
-It's all right -- I don't think Tex does, either.
-Tex? You mean he's here, too?
-Reggie -- stop!
-Why? So you can kill me too? Tex is dead, I've seen him! He said Dyle did it!
-I'm not Dyle -- you know that!
-But Tex didn't -- he still thought -- !
-Reggie -- why won't you listen?
-But I didn't kill anybody.
-Reggie -- please believe me!
-He's -- with the C.I.A. -- I've seen him at the Embassy.
-Reggie -- listen to me!
-You lied to me so many times --
-Reggie -- trust me once more -- please.
-Can I really believe you this time, Adam?
-You didn't have to chase me so hard --
-I'm sorry I thought you were the murderer, Adam -- how did I know that he was as big a liar as you are?
-And that's all the gratitude I get for saving your hide.
-The truth, now -- was it my hide -- or the stamps?
-What a terrible thing to say. How could you even think that?
-I said, tell me to go to the --
-I heard you, I heard you.
-Then say it.
-Reggie -- listen to me --
-Never mind -- I'll go by myself.
-I'm sorry -- my secretary must have gone to lunch. You are -- ?
-Mrs. Lampert -- Mrs. Charles Lampert.
-Dry-cleaningwise, things are all fouled up. I had a good man -- an excellent man on the Rue Ponthieu, but H.Q. asked us to use the plant here in the building -- to ease the gold outflow.
-Mr. Bartholomew -- are you sure you know who I am?
-Have some, please. I've got... ...liverwurst -- liverwurst -- chicken and -- liverwurst.
-Do you know what C.I.A. is, Mrs. Lampert?
-I don't suppose it's an airline, is it?
-Central Intelligence Agency -- C.I.A.
-You mean spies and things like that?
-Only we call them agents.
-We? You mean you're --?
-Someone has to do it, Mrs. Lampert --
-I'm sorry, it's just that I didn't think that you people were supposed to admit --
-I'm not an agent, Mrs. Lampert -- I'm an administrator -- a desk jockey -- trying to run a bureau of overworked men with under-allocated funds. Congress seems to think that all a spy needs --
-Agent.
-Yes -- That all he needs is a code book and a cyanide pill and he's in business.
-What's all this got to do with me, Mr. Bartholomew?
-Your husband was wanted by the U. S. government.
-To be more specific, he was wanted by this agency.
-So that was it.
-Yes. We knew him, of course, by his real name.
-His -- real -- ?
-Voss -- Charles Voss. All right, Mrs. Voss -- -- I'd like you to look at this photograph, please -- by the way, you saw this one, didn't you? Scott, Cathy, and Ham, Jr.
-Very sweet.
-Aren't they? Now look at this one, Mrs. Voss, and --
-Stop calling me that! Lampert's the name on the marriage license.
-Mrs. Lampert, I'm afraid you're in a great deal of danger.
-Danger? Why should I be in any danger?
-You're Charles Voss's wife -- now that he's dead you're their only lead.
-Mr. Bartholomew -- if you're trying to frighten me you're doing a really first-rate job!
-Please, do what we ask, Mrs. Lampert -- it's your only chance.
-Gladly, only I don't know what you want! You haven't told me.
-Oh, haven't I? The money -- Mrs. Lampert -- the money. The $250,000 Charles Voss received from the auction. Those three men want it, too -- they want it very badly.
-But it's Charles's money, not theirs.
-Oh, Mrs. Lampert! I'd love to see you try and convince them of that! Oh, dear.
-Then whose is it? His or theirs?
-Ours.
-Oh, I see.
-And I'm afraid we want it back.
-But I don't have it.
-That's impossible. You're the only one who could have it.
-I believe you.
-Thanks very much.
-Oh, you've got the money all right -- you just don't know you've got it.
-Mr. Bartholomew -- if I had a quarter of a million dollars, believe me, I'd know it.
-Nevertheless, Mrs Lampert -- you've got it.
-You mean it's just lying around someplace -- all that cash?
-Or a safe deposit key, a certified check, a baggage claim -- you look for it, Mrs. Lampert -- I'm quite sure you'll find it.
-But --
-Here's where you're to call me -- day or night. It's a direct line to both my office and my apartment. Don't lose it, Mrs. Lampert -- and please don't tell anyone about coming to see me. It could prove fatal for them as well as yourself.
-Wait a minute -- you think those three men killed Charles, don't you?
-We've no proof, of course, but we rather think so, yes.
-Why not?
-Because they're still here.
-Oh.
-I don't know who this Mr. Dyle is, but it's just possible we were wrong about who killed your husband.
-You mean he might have -- Mr. Bartholomew, I'm catching the next plane out of here -- I'm not going to sit here and wait for someone to make chopped liver out of me!
-Where are you now -- can you meet me? Do you know Les Halles?
-What did you want to see me about, Mr. Bartholomew?
-Were you followed?
-Yes, but I lost him. I really did it quite brilliantly. I'm beginning to think women make the best spies.
-Agents.
-He has a gun, Mr. Bartholomew -- I saw it.
-Who?
-Dyle, or whatever his name is.
-What does your Mr. Dyle look like, Mrs. Lampert?
-He's hardly my Mr. Dyle.
-Describe him.
-Well -- he's tall -- over six feet -- rather thin -- in good physical shape, I'd say -- dark eyes -- quite handsome, really.
-No.
-No, what?
-That's not Carson Dyle.
-Carson?
-There's only one Dyle connected with this affair, Mrs. Lampert -- that's Carson.
-Mr. Bartholomew -- why didn't you tell me you knew about Dyle?
-I didn't see any point. Dyle's dead.
-I suppose you're old enough to have heard of World War Two?
-Barely, yes.
-Café.
-Gratinée, choucroute garnie, salade de pommes -- et un ballon de rouge.
-Mrs. Lampert, I really hadn't planned on spending the entire night here.
-Go on, please -- five men -- $250,000 -- the French Underground --
-Yes. The five men. They were, of course, your husband, Charles, the three men who showed up at his funeral yesterday, and Carson Dyle. But something went wrong and they were unable to locate their contact. It must have been at that point that they decided to steal the money.
-Steal it how?
-By burying it, and then reporting that the Germans had captured it. All they had to do was come back after the war, dig it up and split it five ways -- a quarter of a million dollars with no questions asked.
-Have you any idea what these things cost over here?
-Please go on, Mr. Bartholomew -- what happened then?
-Carson was dying so they were forced to leave him. They finally got back to the base, made their report, and waited for the war to end. Only Charles couldn't wait quite as long as the others. He beat them back to the gold, took everything for himself and disappeared. It's taken Gideon, Tex and Scobie all this time to catch up with him
-But if they stole all that money -- why can't you arrest them?
-We know what happened from the bits and pieces we were able to paste together -- but we still have no proof.
-But what has all this got to do with the C.I.O.?
-C.I.A., Mrs. Lampert. We're an extension of the wartime O.S.S. It was our money and we want it back.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Bartholomew, but nothing you've told me has changed my mind. I still intend leaving Paris -- tonight.
-I wouldn't advise that, Mrs. Lampert. You'd better consider what happened to your husband when he tried to leave. Those men won't be very far away -- no matter where you go. In fact, I don't even see any point in your changing hotels. Please help us, Mrs. Lampert. Your government is counting on you.
-Well, if I'm going to die, I might as well do it for my country.
-That's the spirit.
-Oh, stop it. What do you want me to do?
-We're anxious to know who this man is -- the one calling himself Dyle.
-Maybe he really is Dyle. He could still be alive.
-No, Mrs. Lampert.
-But no one actually saw him die.
-No, Mrs. Lampert. His death is registered with the War Department in Washington.
-Oh. Then who's this one?
-I don't know -- but I think you'd better find out, don't you?
-Me? Why me?
-You're in an ideal position -- he trusts you. Besides, you said yourself, women make the best spies.
-Yes -- ?
-Mrs. Lampert? -- Bartholomew. I've spoken to Washington, Mrs. Lampert --
-Go ahead, Mr. Bartholomew -- I'm listening.
-Are you sure there's no mistake?
-Just a minute, Mrs. Lampert -- you'd better give that to me slowly. Who's Adam?
-The one who said he was Dyle's brother -- of course I'm sure -- Tex wrote the word 'Dyle' before he died. He's the murderer I tell you -- he's the only one left! You've got to do something!
-Calm down, Mrs. Lampert -- please. Does he have the money?
-No, I do -- it was the stamps on that letter Charles had with him on the train. They were in plain sight all the time, but no one ever bothered looking at the envelope.
-The envelope -- imagine that. Mrs. Lampert, listen to me -- you're not safe as long as you've got these stamps. Go to the Embassy right away -- wait, I'd better meet you halfway -- it's quicker. Now, let's see -- do you know the center garden at the Palais Royal? -- yes, by the colonnade -- as soon as you can get there.
-It's Charles!
-Very good.
-He looks so young -- when was this taken?
-It's the man who came to the funeral yesterday -- I'm sure of it -- a tall man in a corduroy suit and string tie.
-Does the name Tex Penthollow mean anything to you?
-No.
-Yes -- and he was there, too -- a little fatter now -- and less hair -- but it's the same one.
-Do you know him, Mrs. Vo -- Mrs. Lampert? Leopold W. Gideon?
-No.
-That's a face you don't forget -- he was there too --
-Herman Scobie. And you've never seen him before, either?
-Well, of all the mean, rotten, contemptible, crooked --
-Crooked? I should think you'd be glad to find out I wasn't crooked.
-You couldn't even be honest about being dishonest. Why didn't you say something?
-We're not allowed to tell. May I have the stamps, please?
-Here -- Wait a minute -- how did Carson Dyle get an office in here, anyway?
-When did you see him -- what time, I mean?
-Around one.
-The lunch hour. He probably worked it out in advance. He found an office that was usually left open and just moved in for the time you were here.
-Then how do I know this is your office?
-Mrs. Foster -- send a memo to Bartholomew at Security recommending that --
-Bartholomew?
--- recommending that all Embassy offices be locked during the lunch hour.
-Starting with his own.
-Okay, now -- hand over those stamps.
-What's your first name today?
-Brian.
-Brian Cruikshank -- it would serve me right if I got stuck with that one.
-Who asked you to get stuck with any of them?
-Is there a Mrs. Cruikshank?
-Yes.
-But you're -- divorced?
-No.
-Oh.
-My mother -- she lives in Detroit. Come on now -- give me those stamps.
-Only if you can prove to me that you're really Brian Cruikshank.
-How about if next week some time I put it on a marriage license -- that ought to --
-Quit stalling -- I want to see some identification -- now!
-I wouldn't lie on a thing like that -- I could go to jail.
-You'd lie about anything.
-Well, maybe we'd better forget about it, then.
-You can't prove it, can you? You're still trying to -- marriage license! Did you say -- ?
-I didn't say anything. Will you give me those stamps?
-You did too say it -- I heard you. Oh, I love you Adam -- I mean Alex -- er, Peter -- Brian. I hope we have lots of boys -- we can name them all after you.
-If you do anything funny, or try to talk to anyone, I'll kill you, Dyle -- here and now. Okay?
-What now?
-How long do you intend -- ?
-Sorry about that.
-Do I knock or something?
-Keep going.
-Very pretty. Now what?
-I'll give you a chance, Dyle -- which is more than you'd give me. Where's the money?
-Is that why you dragged me all the way up here -- to ask me that? She has it -- you know that.
-And I say maybe you both have it! One more time, Dyle -- where is it?
-Supposing I did have it -- which I don't -- do you really think I'd hand it over?
-Back where?
-And stop threatening that boy. He doesn't have the money. Mrs. Lampert doesn't either.
-Then who does?
-I don't know, Herman -- maybe you do.
-Me?
-That's a crock! If one of us did that he wouldn't hang around here waiting for the other two to wise up.
-He's just tryin' to throw us off! They've got it, I tell you! Why don't we search their rooms?
-Not my room!
-We'd better exchange keys. Here's mine.
-Good morning, Mr. Dyle.
-Reggie?
-It's the only name I've got. How about you?
-No cat and mouse -- you've got me. What do you want to know?
-Why you lied to me.
-I had to -- for all I knew you could have been in on the whole thing.
-Well, you know now, so please tell me who you are.
-But you know my name -- it's Dyle.
-Carson Dyle is dead.
-Yes, he is. He was my brother.
-Your --
-The army thinks he was killed in action by the Germans, but I think they did it -- Tex, Gideon and Scobie -- and your husband -- because he wouldn't go along with their scheme to steal the gold. I think he threatened to turn them in and they killed him. I'm trying to prove it. They think I'm working with them. But I'm
-Didn't anyone ever tell you it's impolite to -- What happened?
-I met a man with sharp nails.
-Scobie?
-I left him hanging around the American Express.
-Listen -- all I really want is an estimate.
-Does it hurt?
-Are you really Carson Dyle's brother?
-Would you like to see my passport?
-Your passport! What kind of a proof is that?
-Would you like to see where I was tattooed?
-Sure.
-Okay, I'll drive you around there some day. Ouch!
-Ha ha. You could at least tell me what your first name is these days.
-Alexander.
-Is there a Mrs. Dyle?
-Yes, but we're divorced.
-I thought that was Peter Joshua.
-I'm no easier to live with than he was.
-I'm sorry I couldn't tell you the truth, but I had to find out your part in all this.
-Alex -- how can you tell if someone is lying or not?
-You can't.
-There must be some way.
-There's an old riddle about two tribes of Indians -- the Whitefeet always tell the truth and the Blackfeet always lie. So one day you meet an Indian, you ask him if he's a truthful Whitefoot or a lying Blackfoot? He tells you he's a truthful Whitefoot, but which one is he?
-Why couldn't you just look at his feet?
-Because he's wearing moccasins.
-Oh. Well, then he's a truthful Whitefoot, of course.
-Why not a lying Blackfoot?
-Which one are you?
-Whitefoot, of course.
-I hope it turns out you're a Whitefoot, Alex -- I could be very happy hanging around the tepee.
-Reggie -- listen to me --
-Oh-oh -- here it comes. The fatherly talk. You forget I'm already a widow.
-So was Juliet -- at fifteen.
-I'm not fifteen.
-Well, there's your trouble right there -- you're too old for me.
-Why can't you be serious?
-There, you said it.
-Said what?
-Serious. When a man gets to be my age that's the last word he ever wants to hear. I don't want to be serious -- and I especially don't want you to be.
-Now please, Reggie -- cut it out.
-Okay.
-What are you doing?
-Cutting it out.
-Who told you to do that?
-You did.
-But I'm not through complaining yet.
-Now please, Reggie -- cut it out.
-The phone's ringing --
-They've got Jean-Louis!
-That sounds like their problem.
-What day is it?
-Tuesday.
-Lord, I forgot all about it -- Sylvie works late Tuesday nights -- she always leaves him with me. They wouldn't do anything to a little boy, would they?
-Hello, Herman, it was a happy landing, I see.
-Come on -- let's get busy. Who gets your vote?
-Scobie -- he's the one that objected.
-He's all yours. I'll do Tex and Gideon. Take Jean-Louis with you -- and make sure you bolt the door from inside.
-Reggie -- ? Did you find it?
-Who do you think did it -- Gideon?
-Maybe.
-Or Tex?
-Maybe.
-I think Tex did it.
-Why?
-Because I really suspect Gideon -- and it is always the person you don't suspect.
-Do women think it's feminine to be so illogical -- or can't they help it?
-What's so illogical about that?
-A) It's always the person you don't suspect; B) that means you think it's Tex because you really suspect Gideon; therefore C) if you think it's Tex, it has to be someone else -- Gideon.
-Oh. I guess they just can't help it.
-Who?
-Women. You know, I can't help feeling rather sorry for Scobie. Wouldn't it be nice if we were like that?
-What -- like Scobie?
-I'd love some, thanks.
-No sense messing up the streets.
-Alex --
-Hm?
-I'm scared.
-Don't worry, I'm not going to hit you.
-Maybe somebody felt that four shares were too many --
-What makes you think that this somebody will be satisfied with three? He wants it all, Alex -- that means we're in his way, too.
-Yes, I know.
-First your brother, then Charles, now Scobie -- we've got to do something! Any minute now we could be assassinated! Would you do anything like that?
-What? Assassinate somebody?
-Hurry up and change -- I'm starved.
-Got you.
-Did you ever hear the story of the boy who cried wolf?
-Reggie -- open the door.
-This is a ludicrous situation. There must be dozens of men dying to use my shower.
-Then I suggest you call one of them.
-What are you doing?
-I usually sing a medley of old favorites when I bathe -- any requests?
-Shut the door!
-The suit needs it more than I do, anyway.
-Every day. The manufacturer recommends it.
-Reggie -- you haven't spoken a word in twenty minutes.
-I keep thinking about Charles and Scobie -- and the one who's going to be next -- me?
-Nothing's going to happen to you while I'm around -- I want you to believe that.
-How can I believe it when you don't even know who the killer is? I've got that right, haven't I? You don't know who did it.
-No -- not yet.
-But then if we sit back and wait, the field should start narrowing down, shouldn't it? Whoever's left alive at the end will pretty well have sewn up the nomination, wouldn't you say so?
-What do I have to do to satisfy you -- become the next victim?
-It's a start, anyway.
-I don't understand you at all -- one minute you're chasing me around the shower room and the next you're accusing me of murder.
-I can explain if you'll just listen. Will you listen?
-I can't very well leave without a pair of water wings.
-Okay. Then get set for the story of my life -- not that it would ever make the best-seller list.
-Fiction or non-fiction?
-Why don't you shut up!
-Well!
-Are you going to listen?
-Go on.
-After I graduated college I was all set to go into my father business. Umbrella frames -- that's what he made. It was a sensible business, I suppose, but I didn't have the sense to be interested in anything sensible.
-I suppose all this is leading somewhere?
-It led me away from umbrella frames, for one thing. But that left me without any honest means of support.
-What do you mean?
-When a man has no profession except the one he loathes, what's left? I began looking for people with more money than they'd ever need -- including some they'd barely miss.
-You mean, you're a thief?
-Well, it isn't exactly the term I'd have chosen, but I suppose it captures the spirit of the thing.
-I don't believe it.
-Well, I can't really blame you -- not now.
-But I do believe it -- that's what I don't believe. So it's goodbye Alexander Dyle -- Welcome home Peter Joshua.
-Sorry, the name's Adam Canfield.
-Adam Canfield. Wonderful. Do you realize you've had three names in the past two days? I don't even know who I'm talking to any more.
-The man's the same, even if the name isn't.
-Monsieur Félix -- ?
-I was expecting you. You are American too, of course.
-Yes.
-Have you ever, in your entire life, seen anything so beautiful?
-I'm -- I'm sorry -- I don't know anything about stamps.
-I know them as one knows his own face, even though I have never seen them. This yellow one -- a Swedish four shilling -- called 'De Gula Fyraskillingen' -- issued in 1854.
-How much is it worth?
-The money is unimportant.
-I'm afraid it is important.
-In your money, perhaps $65,000.
-Do you mind if I sit down? What about the blue one?
-It is called 'The Hawaiian Blue' and there are only seven left. In 1894 the owner of one was murdered by a rival collector who was obsessed to own it.
-What's its value today?
-In human life? In greed? In suffering?
-In money.
-Forty-five thousand.
-Do you have anything to eat? And the orange one -- what about the orange one?
-A two-penny Mauritius -- issued in 1856. Not so rare as the others -- $30,000 perhaps.
-And the last one?
-The best for the last -- le chef- d'oeuvre de la collection. The masterpiece. It is the most valuable stamp in the world. It is called 'The Gazette Guyanne.' It was printed by hand on colored paper in 1852 and marked with the initials of the printer. Today it has a value of $100,000. Eh, bien -- I am not a thief. I knew
-You gave the boy quite a lot of stamps in return, Monsieur Félix -- are they for sale now?
-Let me see. There are 350 European, 200 Asian, 175 American, 100 African and twelve Princess Grace commemorative -- which comes to nine francs fifty.
-Please keep it.
-I'm -- I'm sorry.
-That was a dumb move, Herman -- a dumb move.
-I suggest you get about your business -- nothing soothes Herman like success.
-What for? If it's not here, why bother him?
-And if it is?
-You sure nuthin's missin'?
-There sure ain't nothin' here worth no quarter of a million.
-Not unless we're blind.
-You think that mebbe we're fishin' the wrong stream?
-Meaning what?
-You don't s'pose one o' us has it, like the man said -- I mean, that'd be pretty distasteful -- us bein' vet'rans o' the same war 'n' all.
-You know I'd tell you if I had it.
-Nachurly. Jus' like I'd tell you.
-What do you mean, no?
-Mrs. Lampert --
-What do you want?
-Didn't Charles tell you, Mrs. Lampert?
-Tell me what?
-It doesn't belong to you, Mrs. Lampert -- you do know that, don't you?
-I don't know anything.
-Mrs. Lampert, any morning now you could wake up dead.
-Leave me alone -- !
-Dead, Mrs. Lampert -- like last week's news -- like Charles, Mrs. Lampert --
-I'm afraid that will have to wait, Mrs. Lampert.
-But his mother --
-Yes.
-You loved him?
-We discovered your husband's body lying next to the tracks of the Paris- Bourdeaux railroad line. He was dressed only in his pajamas. Do you know of any reason why he might have wished to leave France?
-Leave?
-Your husband possessed a ticket of passage on the 'Maranguape.' It sailed from Bordeaux for Maracaibo this morning at seven.
-He was American?
-Swiss.
-Oh. Swiss. His profession?
-He didn't have one.
-He was a wealthy man?
-I don't know. I suppose so.
-About how wealthy would you say?
-I don't know.
-Where did he keep his money?
-I don't know.
-Besides yourself, who is his nearest relation?
-I don't know.
-C'est absurde, Madame. To-tale-ment absurde!
-I know. I'm sorry.
-Is it all right?
-One wallet containing four thousand francs -- one agenda -- -- his last notation was made yesterday -- Thursday -- "Five p.m. -- Jardin des Champs- Elysées" Why there?
-I don't know. Perhaps he met somebody.
-Obviously. One ticket of passage to South America -- one letter, stamped but unsealed, addressed to you --
-"My dear Regina: I hope you are enjoying your holiday. Megeve can be so lovely this time of year. The days pass very slowly and I hope to see you soon. As always, Charles. P.S. Your dentist called yesterday. Your appointment has been changed." Not very much, is it?
-We took the liberty of calling your dentist -- we thought, perhaps, we would learn something.
-Did you?
-If you will sign this list you may take the things with you.
-Is that all? Can I go now?
-Of course it is.
-I don't understand.
-I was, too.
-In Mr. Dyle's room?
-No -- in my room.
-Oh, la.
-Yes, of course -- but if you went back and wrote me a letter --
--- you could have the stamps. I'll get you some here, okay?
-Oh, la! If I find the treasure, will I win a prize?
-Come on, now -- if you wanted to hide something, where would you put it?
-I know. I would bury it in the garden.
-Swell -- only this man doesn't have a garden.
-Oh. Neither do I. Voilà!
-Voilà what?
-I hope I don't find any little hairy things living up here -- wait! There is something! If I can just -- yes, I'm getting it -- a case of some sort -- it's heavy.
-I found it! I found it!
-If you think you're getting credit for this, you're crazy.
-Up there! It is up there!
-Jean-Louis -- thank heavens! Do you have -- ! What's that?
-A man traded with me -- all those for only four.
-But he is gone.
-I don't blame him. Jean-Louis -- do you know where this Monsieur Félix lives?
-Oh, forgive me. Is this yours?
-It's hers. Where'd you find him, robbing a bank?
-He was throwing snowballs at Baron Rothschild. We don't know each other, do we?
-Why, do you think we're going to?
-I don't know -- how would I know?
-I'm afraid I already know a great many people. Until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.
-Yes, of course. But you will let me know if anyone goes on the critical list
-Quitter.
-How's that?
-Clever fellow -- almost missed me.
-I'm afraid you're blocking my view.
-Sorry. Which view would you like?
-The one you're blocking. This is the last chance I have -- I'm flying back to Paris this afternoon. What's your name?
-Peter Joshua.
-I'm Regina Lampert.
-Is there a Mr. Lampert?
-Yes.
-Good for you.
-No, it isn't. I'm getting a divorce.
-Please, not on my account.
-No, you see, I don't really love him.
-Well, you're honest, anyway.
-Yes, I am -- I'm compulsive about it -- dishonesty infuriates me. Like when you go into a drugstore.
-I'm not sure I --
-Well, you go in and you ask for some toothpaste -- the small size -- and the man brings you the large size. You tell him you wanted the small size but he says the large size is the small size. I always thought the large size was the largest size, but he says that the family size, the economy size and the giant
-Oh. I guess.
-Is there a Mrs. Joshua?
-Yes, but we're divorced.
-That wasn't a proposal -- I was just curious.
-Is your husband with you?
-Oh, Charles is hardly ever with me. First it was separate rooms -- now we're trying it with cities. What do people call you -- Pete?
-Mr. Joshua. Well, I've enjoyed talking with you.
-Now you're angry.
-No, I'm not -- I've got some packing to do. I'm also going back to Paris today.
-Oh. Well, wasn't it Shakespeare who said: "When strangers do meet they should erelong see one another again"?
-Shakespeare never said that.
-How do you know?
-It's terrible -- you just made it up.
-Well, the idea's right, anyway. Are you going to call me?
-Are you in the book?
-Charles is.
-What are you doing here?
-I phoned but nobody answered. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am -- and to find out if there was anything I could do.
-How did you find out?
-It's in all the afternoon papers. I'm very sorry.
-I rang the bell but I don't think it's working.
-Where did everything go?
-Charles sold it all -- at auction.
-Do you know what you're going to do?
-Try and get my old job back at UNESCO, I suppose.
-Doing what?
-I'm a simultaneous translator -- like Sylvie, only she's English to French -- I'm French to English. That's what I did before I married Charles. The police probably think I killed him.
-Instant divorce you mean?
-Something like that. But I'm sorry it ended like this -- tossed off a train like a sack of third-class mail.
-Come on. You can't stay here.
-I don't know where to go.
-We'll find you a hotel.
-Not too expensive -- I'm not a lady of leisure anymore.
-Hallo, Peter.
-You telephoned me to meet you. I've been standing on the corner back there -- waiting for you.
-What's going on?
-Don't you understand French?
-I'm still having trouble with English.
-Of course? I thought he was dead.
-Right there, between your eyes -- see? Worry lines. You're much too young and too pretty to have anything like that. How about making me vice- president in charge of cheering you up?
-What was all that?
-Fun and games. Evidently we're the floorshow.
-You mean you and me?
-En garde.
-What are you doing in here?
-You haven't said a word since we left the club -- what happened back there?
-I -- I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell you or not.
-I don't think I follow you.
-He said if I told anybody it could prove fatal for them as well as me.
-Who said?
-That's what I'm not supposed to say.
-Stop this nonsense! If you're in some sort of trouble I want to know about it.
-Stop bullying me. Everybody's bullying me.
-I wasn't --
-You said this afternoon that your husband was mixed up in something.
-How do you shave in there?
-What was it?
-What was what?
-What your husband was mixed up in.
-Look, I know it's asking you to stretch your imagination, but can't you pretend for a moment that I'm a woman and that you're a --
-We're here.
-Where?
-On the street where you live.
-Him: 'Do you mind if I come in for a nightcap, Reggie?' Her: 'Well -- it is awfully late.' Him: 'Just one, all right?' Her: 'Promise you'll behave yourself.' Him: 'Sorry, baby, I never make promises I can't keep.'
-How would you like a spanking?
-How would you like a punch in the nose? Stop treating me like a child.
-Then stop acting like one. If you're really in some kind of trouble, I'd like to hear about it. Otherwise, it's late, I'm tired and I'm going home to bed.
-Do you know what's wrong with you?
-What?
-Nothing. Good night.
-Peter -- are you all right?
-I think I sprained my pride. Where'd he go?
-Lock the door and the window -- and don't let anyone in except me. I'll be back in a minute.
-Be careful, Peter.
-There was no trace of him. All right, Reggie -- suppose you tell me what this is all about.
-There are three men -- he's one of them -- they think I have something that belongs to them.
-What?
-Go on.
-That's all.
-No, it isn't -- where's the money?
-I don't know. Those men killed Charles to get it. But he must not have had it with him on the train.
-So they think he left it with you.
-No, they won't -- I won't let them.
-Please help me, Peter -- you're the only one I can trust.
-I'm so hungry I could faint. I've -- I've gotten your suit all wet.
-That's all right -- it's a drip-dry.
-Peter, you've got to promise me something. Promise you'll never lie the way Charles did. Why do people have to tell lies?
-Usually it's because they want something -- and they're afraid the truth won't get it for them.
-Who is it?
-Yes -- that's right.
-What'd he say?
-He -- he said if I didn't give the money, he'll kill me.
-I wouldn't take that too seriously.
-I believe what he said.
-They're only trying to scare you, that's all.
-How do you know what they're doing?
-I don't -- but as long as they think you have the money, or know where it is, or have it without knowing where it is, or don't even know you have it --
-What are you talking about?
-You mustn't let what he said bother you. It was only words.
-Words can hurt very much.
-Go to sleep -- I'll see you in the morning.
-Don't put yourself out.
-Hey -- I'm on your side. Remember that.
-Yes, I'll remember. Good night.
-Miz Lampert, ma'am...
-Yes?
-Charlie had no call to handling it this-a-way. He sure didn't. No siree.
-Howdy, Miz Lampert.
-You know what I want, Miz Lampert...
-No -- no, I'm don't.
-Stop that!
-It belongs to me, Miz Lampert -- an' if you don't give it to me your life ain't gonna be worth the paper it's printed on. You savvy what I'm sayin', Miz Lampert?
-Please stop -- please!
-Can you give me one good reason why I should?
-Isn't there something constructive he can do -- like start an avalanche?
-Sylvie -- I'm getting a divorce.
-Ça alors! From Charles?
-He's the only husband I've got. I tried to make it work, I really have -- but --
-But what?
-But why do you want a divorce?
-Because I don't love him.
-With a rich husband and this year's clothes you will not find it difficult to make some new friends.
-He knows everything.
-It's not exactly what I'd call a large turn-out.
-Didn't Charles have any friends?
-Don't ask me -- I'm only the widow. If Charles had died in bed we wouldn't even have him.
-Have you no idea who could have done it?
-Do you know him?
-I've never seen him before.
-He must have known Charles pretty well.
-How can you tell?
-Who is it from?
-What is it about?
-I hope Jean-Louis understands about last night -- it's just not safe for him to be around me right now.
-Don't be silly -- he would not do anything. He is not yet old enough to be interested in girls. He says collecting stamps is much more satisfying to a man of his age.
-Hold it -- Italy just finished. They're recognizing Great Britain.
-Sylvie -- ? What are you doing here?
-Hello, Reggie -- I am waiting for Jean-Louis.
-What's he up to?
-He was so excited -- when he got the stamps you gave him this morning. He said he had never seen any like them.
-I'm glad. But what's all this?
-The stamp market, of course -- it is here every Thursday afternoon. This is where Jean-Louis trades his --
-Good Lord! The stamps! Where is he? Sylvie -- we've got to find him!
-What's the matter, chérie?
-Those stamps -- they're worth a fortune!
-What?
-I don't see him.
-We took all the chances. The money belongs to us, not him!
-Don't be un-neighborly-like, Herman -- don't forget he done us a little ol' favor.
-Yeah? What's that?
-Shoot no, not after all these years.
-Howdy, Miz Lampert.
-This ain't no game, Miz Lampert.
-Yeah?
-I'm Lisa Sherman. Dylan's aunt. He asked me to come talk to you.
-Why?
-He feels terrible about those things he said to you in school.
-He should. Four guys hit on me today, and not because they find me intellectually stimulating.
-I think I know how to restore your reputation.
-You do?
-Yeah. Chris BERRINGER WAS PARKED OUTSIDE THE WINDOW.
-What I don't understand is why they asked Marliston if Rod was a virgin. They could have asked you Cindy.
-I never fucked Rod.
-If I'm so all-used-up Ben, why do you try to hook me up non-stop?
-I think it's funny.
-I'm not fucking you. Not for all your CDS.
-You want me to die? I thought you and I were tight.
-ARE YOU THE KILLER BEN?
-WOULD that impress you? IS that what it takes to impress the empress?
-I get all your CDs.
-Not my imports.
-Ok not your imports. All your other CDS and your K2 snowboard.
-That's an awful lot for ten minutes of beasting?
-One more time.
-I get the imports.
-You aren't planning to tell these kids that 'virgin' was tattooed into both Stacy and Rod, are you?
-No.
-Good.
-But I am going to have to question all of their past boyfriends and girlfriends.
-Hi Jody.
-Why'd you send for Lenny Marliston?
-The kids adore him. They confide in him. His patchouli reeking rear might know if Stacy and Rod were really virgins. Why didn't you ask Jody that?
-She's my daughter, Tom.
-So?
-So you just don't point blank ask your teenage daughter about sex.
-If I'd gone public with this yesterday Annette Michaels might be alive today.
-Oh GOD Brent, is there anything you don't feel guilty about?
-is there anything you do?
-Focus on the present. You always want to change the past. Let's figure out what you are going to tell the parents today, not what you should told them yesterday.
-I'm going to tell them everything I know. I'm calling a town meeting for eight p.m.
-You tell these people someone is out there killing virgins and we're going to have a goddamn fuckfest on our hands.
-IT'S LISA SHERMAN. But she still looks like we're eighteen.
-That's impossible.
-I swear to God. It's her. She told Jody she was Kenny's 'AUNT LISA'. I'm getting this sickly feeling...
-It's almost ten o'clock.
-Daddy you scared me!
-You're grounded Friday night!
-Your curfew is 9:30 and you know it, little miss.
-It won't happen again.
-You said that two weeks ago.
-Dad ! Most of my friends can stay out until 11 on school nights and 1 on weekends!
-Hi honey.
-I'm fine. I've just never had someone my age die before. It's so weird.
-How well did you know Stacy and Rod?
-I've been in the same class with Stacy for years but we weren't tight or anything.
-Had either of them broken up with someone recently? Hurt someone?
-No. Those two were together before Kenny and I started hanging out and that's over, what, God a year now.
-I want you to head right home after school.
-Hi honey.
-What's wrong?
-What do you mean?
-Well, I assume you let him kiss you?
-Well yeah. Of course. Everyone kisses.
-I'm not criticizing. _ Did you two get any further?
-A little.
-How much further?
-Daddy! I DON'T THINK THIS IS ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS!
-I wouldn't ask if I didn't have to.
-Not much further.
-Ok.
-Daddy, are you upset that I'm still a virgin?!
-No honey.
-You are upset.
-I'm not.
-I thought you'd be pleased.
-It was a she.
-Are you sure?
-You know her?
-It can't be.
-Who is she Daddy?
-You were eavesdropping.
-No I wasn't.
-What did you hear?
-Nothing. I just picked up the phone to say goodbye to you. You didn't say goodbye.
-No!
-What kind of a person wakes up in the morning and says to themselves, 'Think I'll nail a sixteen year old girl to a tree today'?
-You found her?
-There's a Lisa Shermer living just sixty miles west of here. Over the Indiana border. I'm going.
-We need you here. I can bring her in.
-As bizarre as it may sound, seems someone is planning to have a big party tonight.
-No?
-Should we close down any eruption?
-Are you sure?
-We're seeing all the signs in town.
-What happened?
-Is Jody still awake?
-Well?
-She's still a virgin.
-Did you warn her?
-What are you doing?
-This will relax her.
-Hello?
-I'm looking for Lisa Sherman.
-She's not here.
-You know where I can find her?
-St. Michael's.
-She works at a church?
-Of what?
-A bullet to the right cerebellum.
-She was murdered?
-Can you describe her? How old was she?
-I never met the woman. I'm just taking care of the place until they sell it.
-Can you get inside?
-I can.
-I knew Lisa Sherman long ago. It's extremely important that I get inside and try to verify that it's the same woman who lived here.
-Is there a picture of her somewhere?
-No pictures. No mirrors. Was she a crazy woman when you knew her?
-No.
-Couldn't tell she going to off herself, huh?
-No, you couldn't.
-I've been in a lot of people's houses and this one's the creepiest.
-Really?
-Yeah. You should check downstairs.
-Why?
-I know where you're going.
-Your brother told us.
-Daddy....
-Shh. I'm not going to tell you not to go.
-You're not?
-We just found another body.
-Who's?
-Tom Sisler. He was murdered at school. Two kids went into his office to fuck and they found him, with his tongue cut out and his foot jammed into his mouth. Killer also chopped off his pecker and stuffed it in his pencil holder.
-Jesus. Any word from Brent?
-Nope. The switchboard is lightning up downtown. Kids from other towns are starting to congregate in the parks and at the high school. It's turning into WOODSTOCK except there's no concert.
-Call Brent on the horn. See where he is. What he wants us to do. I'll head over to the school.
-But I shouldn't shut it down?
-Pay no attention to me.
-You fucked me up!
-What?
-You gave me a 'D'.
-I'm sure you should have failed.
-Please get out of my way or I'll have to hurt you.
-I am.
-My house is just a couple of blocks away. Why don't you come on over and clean those cuts up.
-Ok. Should I put my bike in the back of your car?
-Can you just follow me? The back is full?
-You aren't going to the party?
-of COURSE. You're not scared?
-Of course I'm scared.
-Then you should go.
-You think I should go to the party, Mr. Marliston?
-We're all manipulated. From the moment we're born. The event that fatalistically shaped my life happened before I was even born.
-Really?
-Me? Why me?
-What do you know about my father?
-_ Your father raped someone?
-Lisa Sherman was my mother. Do you know who that is?
-Yes.
-I was born nine months after she was raped. One of the four men who raped her is my father. I have no idea which one.
-You're the killed.
-Please! You wouldn't kill your sister, would you?
-Go sit next to him.
-Who?
-Mark Shale.
-Why?
-Don't you want to talk to him? You watch him eat everyday.
-I don't watch him eat everyday.
-The seat behind him is open. Come on, I can eavesdrop too.
-You eventually have to talk to him.
-No! That's his table.
-What am I supposed to say? 'Nice sweater Mark'? 'Did you buy it at Eddie Bauer's?'
-You could tell him you really liked the way he chews with his back molars.
-You're so fucking lucky your dad is the sheriff.
-You are 'sp fucking' wrong.
-You get to be a little Chelsea Clinton. Everyone wants to meet you. Party with you. Have sex with you.
-He's just trying to mess with your head. Ignore him.
-Does she fuck?
-Oh nice save.
-I was desperate. It was gross.
-Kenny'll come running back. This is just his way of pressuring you.
-He says he loves me.
-Personally I think he has a deep, almost pathological desire to corrupt you. But I suppose that's a type of love. I certainly wish someone wanted to corrupt me.
-Maybe I should blister through a bottle of Tequila and just fuck his brains out.
-No!
-You're the one always saying 'Just do it'.
-I don't know what I'm so scared of.
-Want to come in for awhile? Log onto AOL, flirt with some married men, head into a private S&M chat room . . .
-How do you know what to type back when they start to cyber with you.
-I promised I'd go right home after school.
-Sandy, you have to chill out, at least two-thirds of the kids in our class are still virgins. He can't butcher all of us.
-Not that many.
-You watch. There's going to be a hymen holocaust tomorrow. Maybe I'll finally talk to Mark Shale.
-Someone tried to kill me.
-You ok?
-FINE. Are you?
-Hurricane Hormone. it's flattened the whole school. Guess what?
-What?
-Mark invited me to the party.
-What party?
-Shh. Ben's party. Tonight. Haven't you heard?
-You can't tell your parents.
-Ok.
-Especially not your dad.
-I won't.
-It's like a pop your cherry party. Everyone's saying it's 'Fuck or Die' time.
-You're thinking of sleeping with Mark tonight?
-Unless he makes a move during seventh period.
-Didn't you have something a little more romantic in mind for your first time?
-I kind of like the idea that we can all lose it together, on the same night. It'll be a lot less scary. You have to go.
-Stag?
-Kenny'll want to go with you. Cindy's holding a Q and A session at the bleachers. Come on.
-I can't right now.
-Hi Jody. What can I DO for you?
-Hi Miss Dunlop. Where do you keep the old town papers?
-They're all on microfiche. What year are you looking for?
-Twenty eight years ago.
-This place is empty.
-Everyone's getting ready for the party.
-You heard about that?
-Of course. NO ONE EVER SHUTS UP IN THE LIBARY. Kids were whispering about it all day.
-Don't you think it's sick?
-Not at all. In fact, I thought about going.
-Unfortunately I qualify. Think I'm too old?
-No.
-Cut it out.
-Why?
-I was supposed to be home fifteen minutes ago.
-I got to get home.
-You know, maybe we ought to start seeing other people.
-What?
-Are you O.K.?
-I'm fine.
-I heard you got attacked.
-I did.
-I was worried about you. Did you hear about the bash?
-Yeah. I think it's really sick.
-Why?
-Three of our classmates are dead. That's not really the occasion for a party.
-Nobody wants to be the fourth. Please go with me.
-Did Sharon say no?
-You know I want to go with you.
-I'm so flattered but I can't. I'm grounded.
-Everyone's grounded. There's a killer on the loose.
-If you don't want to go with me just say so. Say 'Kenny, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU' but don't use your dad as an excuse. I'm so sick of it.
-I'm not using him as an excuse.
-Yes you are. You always do. It's why we broke up. You always hide behind him.
-I do not.
-I feel like I NEED YOU DAD'S permission just to kiss you. Jody, it's time to assert yourself To be a big girl. An individual. I'm going to this party tonight. Jimmy's my ride. Come over to my house after school. We'll go together.
-I have to go home after school. I have something really important I have to ask my mom.
-They're not picking me up until six.
-I'll think about it.
-All our parents are weirdoes. I think my dad is into hookers. I know he lit cats on fire when he was a kid.
-My dad acts like he's Johnny Fucking Perfect and he's really Johnny Fucking Rapist.
-I think this is a big part of growing up. It's losing your spiritual virginity. It's when you finally discover that your parents aren't anything they told you they were. They're even bigger hypocrites than your friends.
-I can't believe I listened to one word of his shit.
-But if he'd been sent to jail, there would be no Jody.
-So I should feel happy that he got away with it?
-Are you coming to the party?
-What's wrong? Am I doing something wrong?
-Just making me feel like a piece of meat.
-I'm making you feel like meat?
-You break up with me because I won't fuck you.
-That's not why we broke up.
-You flaunt some slut in my face.
-Sharon's far from a slut.
-And when I finally agree to spread my legs, you accuse me of treating you like meat.
-Please don't go. Please. Stay, We'll just talk. Then go to the party.
-Jody. Wait.
-What?
-I'm scared. Three kids are dead. I want to go to this party.
-My dad's down there!
-Go to the police station!
-Thanks for coming back for me.
-Oh GOD IT'S HIM!
-What are you doing?
-Hi mom.
-Hi princess.
-Mom?
-Yes?
-I need to ask you something.
-You can ask me anything.
-Lisa Sherman?
-Yeah. Who is she?
-I don't know. Where did you hear that name.
-I overheard daddy mentioning her to someone. I he thinks she's the killer.
-What?
-That's what he said.
-Did he say anything else about her?
-No but he got really weird. Like I've never seen him act. REALLY angry and super uptight.
-I've never heard of her. Maybe something else was on his mind.
-No. I think she lived her a long time ago. Like twenty-eight years ago. When dad was eighteen.
-Where are you going?
-I want you to come home with me right now, Jody.
-Who is she?
-She's nobody you should be concerned with.
-Whoever tried to kill me was made up to look exactly like this picture of Lisa Sherman, clothes and all. I think that concerns me.
-Wait.
-What?
-Years ago, something horrible happened in this town. When I was still in high school. A girl named Elizabeth Sherman was attacked by four drunken seniors.
-Attacked how?
-She was raped. At least that's what she claimed.
-You didn't believe her?
-No, I believed her. She was in pretty bad shape. Inside and out. But the boys were never formally charged.
-Why not?
-They were children of our leading citizens, stars of the football team. And she was a loner. An angry girl that no one really liked. She'd called them 'queers'.
-People thought these guys had a right to rape her because she called them 'queers'?
-They were proving to her they weren't. They were very drunk. Things were different back then. You think kids are sexually bottled up today....
-And the police did nothing?
-EVERYONE JUST KIND OF LOOKED THE OTHER WAY.
-How could you?
-I don't know. We just did. I guess I was kind of scared going against the gain. Against the whole town.
-The word is Mob.
-I've regretted it ever since. Never run with the herd just because they're the herd.
-Who?
-The men. Do any of them still live around here?
-Two men left town right after it happened.
-Mr. Sisler was one of them.
-The principal?
-Yes.
-THAT'S why he called Mr. Sisler first. He was one of them.
-Not a day has gone by where your father has not torn himself to shreds for what happened. We both have...
-Yes?
-Yeah.
-I'm Kenny's Aunt Lisa.
-Kenny's aunt?
-On what side of the family?
-His mother's side.
-You ok?
-Just thinking about something.
-What?
-There's going to be very few virgins left in school on Monday. It could be really dangerous for them if the killer isn't caught.
-What are you doing?
-I got to go.
-What?
-Dylan's been telling people that Annette gave him a blow job.
-Hi Mark, Cindy, Ben.
-You got a great mom. I'm lucky to get a zucchini stick.
-Did you want one?
-Yeah I was talking about Twinkies the other day and I realized I hadn't had one in years. Then I remembered seeing you with one.
-You can have both if you want.
-You're so beautiful.
-So are you.
-Now don't be nervous.
-There's Jan and Heather. Let's grab them quick before someone else does.
-Ok.
-Hide your laptop here.
-No.
-You can't bring it.
-Hey! That was a 3k machine.
-I said no.
-Maybe it won't stay in.
-Let me just ask you a serious question first.
-What?
-Aren't you worried you could die a virgin?
-Yeah. I'm extremely worried about that. It's right up there with global warming.
-On our way home, a drunken driver could hit us head on and send us flying through the windshield. Terminate us instantly. We'd never experience what it means to make love.
-If sheep don't count.
-That wasn't me ...
-I know. I'm kidding you. Chill out.
-Well I'm trying to be real here and you're mocking me.
-Rod!
-You're being unfair.
-Unfair?!
-Stacy?
-What, do you work for my boss, dog?
-Okay, okay.
-At least somebody likes this shit.
-
-
-help me get in the truck.
-
-Oh...
-...shit.
-Oh, shit.
-Unbe-fucking-lievable.
-Damn.
-
-
-Shit!
-It's a damn postal truck!
-Let me put it in easy terms, Aristotle. We are carrying a damn bomb...
-...that is going to explode...
-...if we don't get out of this tunnel!
-Come on, Night Shift.
-A little early for a delivery.
-Oh...
-...yeah. Tryin' to get most of my day done before it hits nine-...
-...-ty.
-Where's Sam?
-Sam? Andy gave Sam a nice big desk to park his fat ass behind.
-Where do you want this stuff?
-Freezer in the back.
-Great.
-That's my business.
-No argument there.
-The guy's a fuckin' moron.
-Hey, I'm with you on that one, my man. Prick.
-Look, you need me to sign an invoice or somethin'?
-Uh, between this month and last month, you owe four hundred and seventeen dollars. And we need that in cash.
-Since when does...
-...Darlene pay you in cash?
-Since today. New policy.
-
-Yeah, well, Darlene didn't say anything about it to me, so tell Andy to bill her like usual and let them sort it out. Move.
-
-Well, he told me to collect cash.
-Andy. Another fuckin'...
-...moron.
-Hey, you and I are seein' eye to eye on a whole range of issues this mornin'.
-Uh, huh?
-Except for the fact that I need cash.
-He could've called first.
-He could've. That-That's true. But that would've been smart...
-...and fair...
-...two things Andy is not. Uh, but I tell you what.
-Bein' that it's cash, I'm gonna give you ten percent...
-...off. Say, uh, three seventy-five. Seein' that we both have so much love...
-...for Andy, I'll tell him I lost a few cartons comin' over the mountain.
-That'll make up the difference, huh?
-Huh?
-Well, Darlene usually gives me a signed check for emergencies. I could always give you that.
-Oh.
-Why don't I--?
-Aw! Oh, Jesus.
-Sorry, man. He's dead.
-What did I say?
-Dude in uniform get in your face, you do not shoot your mouth off.
-I need your truck.
-
-No, no, no. You don't need my truck. You need somebody else's truck...
-...and a shitload of ice.
-Look, if I don't get this stuff to McGruder, it's goodbye, Andy's Ice Cream, goodbye, Jerome, goodbye, Mon-...
-...-tana.
-Wait, wait. You don't believe the dead guy, do...
-...ya?
-Yeah, I believe him. He was my friend.
-For cryin' out loud.
-Hey, listen! Do you know what I think? I...
-...think he was a wacko. And I think that G.I. ninja's a bigger wacko. And I think you're the biggest wack-...
-...-o of all, wantin' to be a part of this wacko shit!
-I need your help.
-You are seriously mistaken if you think you are going anywhere in my...
-...truck.
-Then you drive me to McGrud-...
-...-er.
-Look...I got two tons of the world's nastiest ice cream sittin' in a truck that should've been retired ten years ago. That shit will be worthless by noon.
-And if that Elvis shit...
-...is as dangerous as you seem to think it is, I'm gettin' my ass as far away from you and it as possible.
-Peace.
-All right.
-
-Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Hold up. Look.
-You want cash?
-You want cash?
-I got, like, uh....
-I got, uh....
-I got fifty bucks. I'll get more.
-I'll rent the truck from you. You can stay here, you can go. Whatever you want.
-No.
-All right, then how about this?
-Hey, you're gonna piss me-- What the hell are you supposed to be...
-...doing?!
-I need your truck!
-Go on.
-Would you hurry up, please?
-Look, put this in the back. Keep it safe.
-
-There we go. There we go. Did you keep it safe? Did you
-What the hell is with you, dog? He's the one with the damn gun.
-You gave him ice cream, didn't you? Come on, let's go.
-Yeah, to keep him off my ass.
-What did you do that for? It makes him mean as a snake.
-That dog was mean before I met him.
-That dog ain't mean.
-I'm gonna stomp your a--
-Come on, get in the truck.
-I'm gonna bust a mudhole in your ass. I'm gonna-- Don't tell me to shut-- It's none of your business. Man, I can talk all I want to.
-...up.
-Are you kiddin'?
-
-Come on!
-Damn.
-What the hell's goin' on?
-It happens to this piece of shit...
-...all the time.
-Damn diesel injections are flood-...
-Excuse me...
-...-ed.
-...excuse me. Can you fix this?
-
-You'd better coast through...
-...town.
-We're clear.
-No cell.
-Billings? No, no, no, no, no. We need to go to McGruder.
-No, you gotta go to McGrud-...
-...-er.
-No, no, no, no, no. We gotta go to McGruder! I go where the truck goes!
-No, no, no.
-To get to McGruder, you have to go through Missoula, and I ain't goin' to Missoula.
-No way. We're goin' through McGrud-...
-...-er.
-I ain't goin' through Missoula!
-Am I missing somethin' here?
-Look...I kinda borrowed the truck from Andy.
-Borrowed.
-Yeah, borrowed!
-You stole this truck.
-You stole this truck!
-I did not steal this truck!
-You stole this truck! That's...
-...what all the bullshit about the cash was, wasn't it?! You stole this truck, and now you're trying to sell...
-...the ice cream for money!
-I didn't steal the truck! He owed it to me! Anyway, the important thing is I'm not goin' through Missoula!
-I'm about to get in your ass like last year's underwear, man.
-That's...
-...fine.
-I ain't playin' that.
-
-Hey.
-We can't push old Pete in this heat. He can't take it.
-
-God-...
-...-damn!
-Okay, okay!
-Ah, one of them's in the back.
-No, no, no, no, no. Keep goin'.
-
-
-
-You're nuts, goin' back there!
-Shut up.
-
-Take your gun!
-Doesn't work.
-What?
-Doesn't...
-...work! It's not even load-...
-...-ed.
-Oh, shit.
-
-
-
-
-Get him to stand up, Night Shift.
-All right.
-Okay! All right!
-Elvis is on ice again.
-Okay.
-Nice job back there.
-
-Don't gimme that "nice job" shit, man! They still got a vanload comin', and what do you got besides an empty...
-...gun?!
-I was thankin' you, asshole!
-Kiss my ass!
-Probably because they know a psycho when they hear one.
-No...
-...I'm not the psycho.
-Hey, take a look at your situation and...
-...reconsider that statement there, Night Shift. You're psy-...
-...-cho and a hijack-...
-...-er!
-Hi--! The gun was empty!
-Every time I look at you, I wanna hit...
-...you.
-You wanna hit me?
-And I'm a peaceful man, and...
-...I believe in live and...
-Yeah...
-...let live.
-...you stole the truck to uphold your principles, right?
-I did not steal the truck.
-
-It was owed to me. You stole the damn...
-...truck!
-Shut up, shut up! It's beeping.
-Well, then, that means it's call...
-...waiting!
-You snatch that phone from me one more time, I'm--
-
-
-Holy shit...
-...man!
-Oh, shit.
-Back up! Back...
-...up!
-
-Come on, old...
-...Pete! Come on! There it...
-...is, old Pete! Come on, baby!
-Fuck!
-
-Oh, shit.
-Oh, we're screwed, Night...
-...Shift.
-You can just bend over and kiss your crazy ass goodbye, buddy!
-I think...
-...we can make it.
-You think we can make what?! You see that truck?!
-Eight and a half feet wide! Weighs over five tons!
-Hey, and what if we don't make it?!
-
-Your weedkiller on steroids goes down with us! Everybody dies!
-I don't think we have much of a choice...
-...do we?
-Oh, shit.
-That's right. Now, move!
-
-
-Oh, shit.
-Okay.
-
-Goddamn!
-I should've had that dog bite me. I would've gotten rabies! Could've went to the hospital, had a pretty nurse!
-Hey, hey! Whoo! Okay.
-Go, go, go, go, go. Oh, shit.
-Oh, shit.
-Come on, old Pete.
-Come on!
-Come on, old Pete.
-God, man!
-I'm goin'. I'm goin', baby. I'm goin', I'm goin'.
-Oh...
-...easy, easy, easy.
-Left, left, left!
-Get over! Get over!
-Come on.
-Oh, shit. Come on, old...
-...Pete! Come on.
-Come on, old Pete. Oh.
-I know the likeli-...
-...-hood of you knowin' any prayers is slim...
-...Night Shift, but you might...
-...wanna give it a try!
-Come on, old...
-...Pete. Come on.
-
-Come on.
-Come on.
-Come on...
-...you crazy bastard.
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
-I made it!
-I made it.
-What are you talkin' about?! I'm the one drivin'!
-You okay?
-What the fuck was that?!
-Shit. You gotta pass him.
-Gee, you think so?
-Holy--!
-Okay. That didn't work.
-Gee, you think so?
-Shut up!
-
-Ho, ho...
-Oh...
-...ho!
-...shit!
-
-
-Hang on!
-Hey!
-
-
-Shit.
-Go on.
-Go, go.
-
-
-Oh, Pete. Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
-
-No. Shit.
-Come on.
-Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
-Oh, shit. It's okay. Okay.
-
-Okay.
-All right.
-Okay.
-All right.
-Gimme that, gimme that, gimme that.
-Okay. Okay.
-These'll keep it cold.
-Yeah...
-...yeah.
-Aw, shit
-
-All right, let's go.
-
-Okay. All right. Okay.
-
-Listen! Listen...
-...to him! You don't know who...
-...you're dealin' with!
-I'm a dangerous man!
-Yeah, he's a dangerous...
-...man!
-He's crazy!
-
-Taking it down the hill.
-You're--? What?!
-
-You're not dangerous! You're crazy! I ain't gettin' in this damn thing!
-Then stay...
-...here!
-I don't want you to come anyway.
-What?
-Come on!
-
-Keep still.
-Okay. Okay.
-
-
-Oh, shit!
-No!
-Oh, no!
-Oh, no!
-
-
-All right. Hey.
-
-
-
-
-Uh-oh.
-What?
-This thing just went up a degree. Ice cream's not workin'.
-This river's fed by a glacier. Willing to bet my life that it's a good deal under fifty degrees.
-Okay.
-Worth a try.
-
-Hey, you didn't happen to lock the truck up when you got out...
-...did you?
-You're fucked, man.
-See, now why would you do that to a man in my posi-...
-...-tion?
-Hey, I didn't steal the truck. You...
-...stole the truck.
-Hey, I told you I did not steal that truck. Andy owes me a lot more than that four-wheeled...
-...piece of shit was worth.
-It won't even start half the time.
-You know what I'm sayin'?
-I deserve a lot more than that truck! Ten years, ten years I busted my ass for that fat rat bastard.
-And he swore, he swore once I got a degree...
-...there'd be a sales rep desk with my name on it. But every time something opened up, there'd be some idiot cousin...
-...or nephew or some good old boy...
-...just ready to just slide him right in there. And what about me, huh? What about Arlo, huh? What about my needs? You know, I got a-I got student loans...
-...overdrawn bank accounts.
-Nobody's lookin' out for my interests. My credit was fucked! And then when he promoted Sam over me, I just snapped. So I split.
-So you took his...
-...truck.
-So I took his truck, yeah.
-Yeah.
-You know, four years ago, I was a split end at Kentucky State.
-We were nationally ranked.
-How wonderful for you.
-Started every game my senior year. Not all-American or anything, but not bad. Anyway, the real star was my best friend, the quarterback. Got taken in the first round.
-Robert Del Rio?
-Yeah, Robert Del Rio.
-I remember him. Got in a car crash or somethin'.
-We were celebrating right after the draft, going from bar to bar. I was drivin'.
-And I put the car into a ditch. He spent eighteen weeks in the...
-...hospital.
-Never gonna throw a ball in the pros.
-Couldn't deal with it. So I split.
-And things sort of just went downhill from there.
-Anyway, about ten months ago, I wound up in Jerome, workin' for Darlene.
-Well, shit. Could be worse. I mean, we're both up shit's creek, but at least we have a paddle.
-We got two paddles.
-Listen, Arlo...
-...for whatever it's worth, I'm sorry I dragged you into this...
-...shit.
-To tell you the truth, you didn't.
-Not completely, anyway.
-I mean, if that gun was...
-...loaded, I didn't buy you as a shoot- ...
-...-er. It was your friend...
-...Long. Somethin' about that look in his eye when he talked about that Elvis...
-...shit.
-Well, all the same. If we get to Missoula, help me find a car. I'd appreciate it. Then...you can...
-...split.
-Split? I wouldn't get ten...
-...miles.
-
-
-That is loud! I'm
-Whoo!
-All right, all right. Hey, hey.
-Hey. Mason.
-Yeah.
-I think you oughta cut a...
-...deal with this asshole.
-Even though it is nice to see Andy...
-...squirm, I don't want his brains all over my shirt...
-...or my conscience.
-A-And you owe me...
-...man.
-
-
-Bullshit. You would've killed us anyway.
-Ow!
-
-
-Are you all right?
-Listen, Arlo.
-
-They're takin' off.
-Huh?
-They're movin'.
-Hey, just shut up.
-We're gonna die!
-Arlo, shut up.
-We're gonna die!
-We're gonna die!
-Hey, hey, hey.
-
-Put your hand in my pants.
-What?
-
-We're gonna die, and you want me to do some freaky shit like that?!
-Arlo! Arlo.
-Reach into my pocket.
-
-Come on!
-Oh.
-Okay.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
-
-Okay. All right, man. Okay.
-
-Okay.
-All right. Okay.
-
-Okay.
-
-Arlo!
-
-
-Okay.
-
-Okay, here we go.
-
-Come here.
-Go, go, go!
-You just can't leave that stuff with that lu-...
-
-...-natic.
-That's why I didn't give it...
-...to him.
-What?
-You got Elvis?!
-Sometimes the prey bites back.
-Go!
-
-Stop.
-
-Hang...
-...on!
-Aw, shit. Would you be more care-...
-...-ful?!
-Oh, fuck!
-Forty-five seven!
-Oh, shit.
-We!
-I've got the real thing!
-Here...
-...they come!
-And Brynner's right on...
-...our ass!
-Okay...
-...here comes the...
-...tunnel!
-Whoo!
-Forty-seven. You'd better floor it.
-What the hell?
-What the--?
-Stupid.
-Unbe-fucking-lievable.
-Shoot me.
-What's it say?
-Forty-nine point four.
-Mason.
-What?
-
-All right
-Oh.
-
-Come on. Come on.
-What?
-
-What?
-It's working.
-
-
-
-We got-...
-...-ta get outta here!
-Vitelli! Vitelli!
-
-Well, hell, the smoke's gonna kill us anyway!
-There's gotta be...
-...another way outta here. Hey.
-Hold this.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-
-Sorry.
-Hang on, hang on.
-Let's go!
-Got it? Come on, darlin'. I gotcha.
-Arlo, I'm gonna get Elvis. You go.
-They'll meet you at the top.
-Okay. Come on, big guy!
-
-Look out.
-What'd you come back for?!
-Why'd you stay behind?!
-
-
-
-
-Well.
-
-You know, we saved half a million people from a full-body peel.
-
-We're the shit. Bigtime.
-They aren't exactly gonna publicize this, Arlo.
-Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey. We are heroes, my man. It's time to start actin' like it.
-
-Stop limpin' around like that.
-Excuse me. I got a bullet in my leg.
-You did help a little.
-Who drove the ice cream...
-...truck that kept Elvis cool?
-Who had to put a gun to your head?
-Who put the big hurt on...
-...that Army nut job to save your narrow butt?
-You, Arlo.
-Hello.
-You.
-Right. You damn skippy. And now that I am both jobless...
-...and-and-and truckless in the service of my country...
-...I feel that my government owes me a little restitution.
-Us. Owes us.
-Patriotism is its own reward.
-I think so too.
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
-Thank you very much.
-What about all that "no need to get in the man's...
-...face" crap you've been telling me?
-I was not in the man's face. I was nego-...
-...-tiatin'.
-Look. That's negotiating? He threatened to kill...
-...us.
-But he didn't. See, that's negotiation.
-No.
-That's bullshit.
-Bullshit, yeah. Well...if we're not gonna be famous, at least this'll be a great story to tell some ladies in a bar or somethin'.
-Oh!
-Oh, oh!
-I feel faint.
-You know, it's, uh-it's very hush-hush, as we say in the spy game.
-It all started with our mission in Istanbul.
-Yeah.
-I was undercover as a tennis player.
-Yeah.
-My code name was Blackjack. Night Shift was my coach. Uh-Uh-Uh, I'm sorry. Mason was my coach.
-
-Uh, he handled rackets, and I carried the balls.
-Yeah.
-you see, that was a-that was my mission.
-big balls.
-Hey.
-Hey, be cool.
-Be cool. Be--
-That was quick.
-
-To tell you the truth, we're looking for a scientist who's gone missing from the Tech Center. Maybe you know him. Richard Long.
-We're worried...
-...about him.
-Give it to me now, or you'll be dead...
-...within five minutes.
-What'd he say?
-
-Listen, shithead!
-I got three thousand dollars of highly perishable ice cream products that taste bad enough when it's...
-...frozen! So if you don't mind--!
-Just give me Elvis and I'll make sure you have enough money for a dozen ice cream trucks.
-Your move. Okay, Vaughn, you drive.
-I urge you to be persuasive.
-This country trained me to kill...
-...without compunction.
-Well, well, well.
-Funny situation, ain't it, Andy?
-
-
-And it won't be pleasant.
-But...
-...such is the price...of patriotism.
-Vaughn.
-
-Well, that just about figures for today.
-So...where's my truck?
-It's, uh, parked just off of Highway Thirty-Five.
-I did what I could for you...
-...Arlo, and you screwed me for it. Now, where's my goddamn truck?
-Why don't you get that tub of shit Sam to...
-...help you?
-Yeah, that's my truck.
-Mason, you have to take this...
-...to Fort McGruder in his truck.
-Wait. This town is full of trucks. Nice new trucks. You don't need to go...
-...take my sorry old truck.
-So you called the damned thing Elvis
-I had no idea how powerful it was.
-Eighteen men were k- killed in sec-...
-...-onds...with just a fraction of what's in...
-...here. Mason...
-
-...about the man who did this, he's-he's comin' after it.
-You-You can't let him...
-...have it. You have to...have to get it to M...to McGruder.
-You got a prob-...
-...-lem too?
-No, sir. I've never seen this guy before.
-
-Well, why don't they talk to the sage of Jerome here?!
-Listen, deputy.
-He's the dude...
-...the guy the Army guys are lookin' for!
-What? Say again...
-...Mason. I can barely hear you.
-We've got it...
-...on ice! We've got Elvis on ice!
-All right, gentlemen. We're about done here. Fine job.
-Thank you.
-Your country and a lot of innocent people in it...
-...owe you.
-We do have to take into consideration that, through your courage...
-...and selfless actions, you did save millions of lives.
-Exactly.
-However, you are also non-en-...
-...-listed personnel with detailed knowledge of classified secrets falling under the National Security Act.
-In order to protect those secrets, I am authorized to fine you, imprison you...
-...to take any extreme measures I deem necessary...
-...including the permanently extreme.
-
-
-
-Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
-Whoo-hoo!
-
-Colonel Vitelli. We got a busted-in cold vault inside.
-Is it--?
-Looks like it. Yes, sir.
-They were all wearing hardware.
-Any of them Richard Long?
-Yes, sir.
-Doc-...
-...-tor Long.
-What the hell is all this about a detonation today? We're scheduled...
-...to be off the island tonight.
-And I changed the schedule.
-I don't work for you, Captain Brynner.
-Sweeney tells me you don't have computer confirmation?
-You know, captain, if you hadn't spent so much of your career questioning your superiors, you might've found yourself with more gold leaf on your col-...
-...-lar.
-This isn't some kind of pissing contest, Long. You may be in charge here, but those men out there are my responsi-...
-...-bility.
-Look, this is a scientific experiment, okay?
-If it works, your stock at the Pentagon will go up along with mine. I don't think I need to mention you could use the help.
-The NSA thinks the UN is onto your work...
-...here, and the White House is screaming about chemical weapons, and we're...
-...sittin' here with our hands in the goddamn cookie jar! And let me tell you something else. I didn't join the service to let people like you turn...
-...the United States into the kind of country we're supposed to be fighting against.
-But you have no choice but to follow orders.
-Now listen to me.
-Now, I know. You have moral objections to what we're doing here, but believe...
-...me, if I thought there was any real danger, I-I wouldn't go forward.
-You have my word on that.
-All right. One more shot, provided... we're off the island tonight.
-"I am become Death, the...
-...destroyer of worlds."
-No!
-No!
-
-You'll kill us all!
-Damn you, Long! My people are out there! Your people are out there!
-Andrew...
-...I wish they would've let me say something...
-...about--
-
-Is this stool taken?
-No, go--
-You look good, Richard.
-You look fit...healthy...
-...not at all like a man responsible for the deaths of eighteen peo-...
-...-ple.
-Is that why you're here? To blame...
-...me? Well, you could've saved yourself the trip.
-I know where the blame belongs. But I didn't put you in prison, Andrew. The government did...
-...that.
-Oh, I'm well aware of what the government did, I assure you. Actually, I've just come to say how grateful I am to you...
-...and the government.
-Grateful?
-Mm-hm.
-Together, you gave me the opportunity to realize just how very wrong my life had gone.
-Do you remember telling me once that all through my career, I'd never fit in? Well...
-...you were right, of course. But after...
-...years of thinking the matter over, I began to see that the whole thing wasn't really my problem.
-What rational man could fit in with the sorts of things our government was doing? The sorts of things you've...
-...always done, Richard?
-Do you think I haven't seen the bodies of those...
-...men every time I've closed my eyes? But after you went away, I--
-Went away?
-"Went away." I like that.
-Almost quaint.
-All right. After they put you away...
-...I began trying to find ways of controlling the effects of the weapon that we tested on Horn Island.
-And let me guess. You failed.
-So far, ye-yes.
-
-Do you know what'll...
-...happen if I drop this?
-Brynner.
-Well, Lieutenant Vitelli.
-Good to see you again, Leo.
-Pleasant surprise.
-I can't say it's a surprise.
-And I certainly can't say it's pleasant.
-As soon as I heard Elvis was on the loose, you came to mind.
-I checked your release date. I never liked coincidences.
-Yeah, I had a small problem with members of our side murdering civil-...
-...-ians. But I assure you, Leo...
-...I lost all my squeamishness at Leav- ...
-...-enworth. I'll have no compunction at all about using this.
-Hm. The wind's northwest. That oughta be...Seattle.
-Or I may be wrong. The breeze could be gusting south. That'd be Billings...
-...maybe even Salt Lake, not to mention Casper...
-...Destry, Fair Oaks....
-Knowing you, Brynner, you've got buyers waiting to buy! You're not gonna use that...
-...here!
-And I'm warning you, Leo. Don't test me. Get your men and your machines off my radar screen in five, or three million people will die.
-I'll do it.
-Get 'em on line, then stall. Long can't have gotten far.
-Closin' down, sir.
-There's nothing in here, sir. They got away with it.
-All right. Let's clear the mess and move out.
-Besides, how are we gonna sell something we don't have?
-
-
-This is it.
-
-Move. This is already affecting our schedule.
-Dennis, radio the bikes. I wanna know if so much as a squirrel...
-...comes up that road.
-Well. It appears someone's been lying to us.
-
-Radio the bikes.
-Dutiful citizens, you have something which I have waited years for.
-You have no idea what you're in possession of, do you?
-
-And so Missoula's prodigal son returns.
-Of which we have more than enough.
-All right. Tell the pilot we'll be a half-hour.
-Carl! Set up the camera.
-Carl, establish contact with that deputy we met earlier. He'll be more useful now.
-Hit him.
-Hit him again.
-
-
-Vaughn.
-There.
-It's clean.
-Check the immediate area.
-This was supposed to be a...
-...quick in and out.
-Sir, all potential customers have been informed of the delay. Fur-...
-...-ther orders?
-Vaughn, get the M-seventy-nine ready.
-You can't fire on them. You're gonna detonate the crystals.
-Shit.
-Just when we have all the cards, Vaughn. Take these two behind the van.
-Dennis!
-Get your links set up!
-I wanna patch in from...
-...here!
-What about these two?
-We're gonna use them for demonstration footage.
-Having witnessed the effects myself, I can assure you it'll be very useful when the bidding starts.
-Get 'em in the middle of the dam.
-I'm on it.
-This river ends at a hydro dam...
-...in Missoula. All we need to do is get to Mason before anyone else does.
-Carl, Dennis, get out of sight.
-Officer Pappas, I'm glad you're here.
-Mind if you tell me what's goin' on?
-I'm Colonel Brynner, U.S. Special Operations Com-...
-...-mand out of Fort Bragg.
-We were called in by the Jerome base...
-...to pursue a man who's stolen government proper-...
-...-ty.
-Right. Tim Mason.
-You know the suspect?
-Yeah, he's wanted in connection with a death this morning at the Jerome...
-...general store.
-Richard Long.
-That's right.
-Hemmings! Sam, I thought I told you to close up shop and be ready to move up the island by night-...
-...-fall.
-Yes, Captain Brynner, you did, but-but--
-But...
-...what, Sam? Can't I go down to the loading dock for a few hours without coming back to find a major...
-...screwup?
-Uh, with all due respect, sir, Dr. Long told me to prep the field for detonation at...
-...noon.
-Jesus Chri-- We're on a very slippery slope here, Sam. A covert military operation riddled with civilian...
-...scientists.
-You don't think it's that bad, do you, sir? I mean, Long's spent the last two years developing his defoliant. The stuff can't even kill crabgrass yet.
-Where's their protective...
-...gear?
-It's a hundred degrees...
-...out here, captain. Don't you think the guys deserve a break?
-We gotta get help. Aw, fuck! Damn.
-Mornin'.
-Is this your establishment?
-Yeah, they call me Dar-...
-....-lene.
-Well, then, how about a cup of coffee, Darlene?
-Iced coffee.
-I assume you want that to go.
-Assumptions are always...
-...dangerous.
-Quite a getup for jacking...
-...deer.
-I beg your pardon?
-Uh, you wanna hunt outta season, it's cool with me. But mostly, well, they just take a six...
-...and a rifle. You, on the other hand...
-...look like you're after something more dangerous.
-Actually, I was just looking for a restroom.
-I assume you have one.
-Doc...
-...Long.
-Doc Long. Yeah, I know him. Weirdo guy. He comes in from...
-...time to time, yeah.
-Not tonight...
-...though.
-
-Odd, then, that his car...
-...should be right outside.
-Yeah?
-Contrary to what Dr. Long may have told you, this is neither...
-...your concern nor your fight. Relinquish the package and you can go.
-I want you to look at one another...
-...and ask a simple question - Are you actually prepared...
-...to die for a country that's...
-...never done a thing for you?
-Because if you don't give me that cylinder, your lives will end...
-...on this miserable road to nowhere.
-And I can't guarantee the end will be quick.
-Hello.
-Yeah, I'm listenin'.
-I don't see my container.
-You try anything, it goes in...
-...the river.
-It's a little late for matinee heroics, Mason. Just give me the con-...
-...-tainer!
-Where's Arlo?
-
-Your fellow hero, untouched...
-...and unharmed, de-...
-...-spite the mouth.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-No.
-Where's Elvis?!
-Dead, last time I...
-...checked.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-Why? You're a nothing, nobody! Why?
-You'd never understand!
-I would've in another life.
-
-
-Goddamn it, Ma-...
-...-son. Of all the days for you to show up late. First, the idiot April calls in sick. Then I got a bad tooth...
-...and then my night man shows up when he feels like...
-...it.
-Darlene, it's five-thirty. Now, I worked late for you this mornin', and you didn't wanna spring for over-...
-...-time, remember?
-Oh. Well, I have got to get to the dentist be-...
-...-fore he closes, which means you're gonna have to cover the grill and the floor.
-I can handle it.
-Yeah?
-Be sure you feed Bosco.
-And don't give him any ice cream...
-...like April. It gives him gas. And make sure there's two pots of coffee...
-Two pots of coffee...
-...ready before the morning crowd blows in.
-Oh, caught a few, lost a few.
-Story of my life. Well, one thing you won't lose is that friend of yours back there, I'll tell you that.
-Oh, no?
-Oh, you're two of a kind, doc. Oh, he may not have your sheepskins, and...
-...well, most of the time he looks like something the cat might have dragged in, but, you know...
-...he's smart enough to get you...
-...somehow.
-There's something else too.
-Uh, we both like to fish.
-Secrets.
-Ah.
-His I know. Yours I don't have a clue. But if it wasn't for you, I think he'd have drifted right on through this town.
-
-You know, I have yet to get a simple cup of coffee and a meal in this place, Darlene.
-Video lock.
-You got thirty minutes.
-It's after five...
-Rangers.
-Go.
-Sir, I got Taipei grindin' on me here. How long is this supposed to ta--?
-Geneva just pulled the plug.
-Kabula's out.
-Hit it...
-...now!
-No sign of 'em...
-Forty-nine?
-Major, we've gotta seal that tunnel! Major!
-Great. All right...
-...we're gonna seal that tunnel! I want it air-...
-...tight!
-Colonel, sir, who the hell is this guy?
-It's not over, Brynner.
-Sir, we can't just let him get away with this!
-Gomez, you fight the battles you can win. Now, we've been outmaneuvered here. Brynner's next move is gonna be to get Elvis out of the country and sell him to the highest bidder. To do that, he has to have planned an exit point. That's where we intercept him. That's where we make our play. Now you and your men back off.
-
-What's going on, colonel?
-...that tunnel.
-Is Elvis out?
-That little geek is my...
-...son.
-Thanks.
-It must've happened right after we left.
-Missoula's reporting the refrigerator truck as a stolen vehicle. I told you Mason was walking shit.
-Pappas, that other guy was unloading ice cream into a freezer. Now, what could he have to do with a military scientist, huh?
-The sooner you get up the lab, the sooner you'll figure it out.
-
-And where are you going?
-Deputy Art Lewis, Jerome County Sheriff's Department.
-Uh-huh.
-I don't suppose you'd like to tell me what this is all about.
-What the hell are you talkin' about...
-...colonel?
-Well, I've got Dr. Long's body down at the coroner's office.
-One of our units is pursuing a suspect up the thirty-...
-...-five.
-Who's your suspect?
-A man named Tim Ma-...
-...-son.
-Mason? No, he's a soda-jerk drifter, a hamburger flipper.
-Morning, doc. Awful early, aren't ya?
-Couldn't sleep, Pumper. Is everything, uh, all right tonight?
-There's nothin' goin' on out there, doc...except maybe the occasional fly fisherman.
-
-Hey, doc. Might wanna...
-...try this one out some-...
-...-time.
-Excellent.
-
-Been trying to figure out your secret.
-My secret?
-Yeah. Ten months we've been fishin' this river together. We use the same equipment, more or less...
-...but you pull twice as many fish out of the water as I do.
-And I'm good at this. Been doing it since I was a kid. But you, I don't know. Somehow you think...
-...like a fish.
-No, that's not possible, Mason. The trout...
-...is a perfect hunter.
-He's brains without ambition...
-...sensitivity without neurosis. He's...
-...the master of his realm.
-How can we ever hope to win against the trout?
-There's only one way you can do it, Mason.
-Turn the power of the hunter against him.
-Tie a fly...
-...create a piece of bait that sends the fish's instincts into overdrive...
-...forcing him to strike. And only then does our noble friend realize that the prey...can bite...
-...back...
-...and that power...
-...without caution...
-...is death.
-Some people might say you're readin' an awful lot in-...
-...-to a simple thing like...
-...fishin'.
-
-Mason.
-Shit! Oh, shit.
-Call an ambulance.
-The compound has to be kept cold...
-...or it'll ignite.
-Cold? Cold. How cold?
-Never let it reach fifty degre-degrees.
-And what if it does?
-You're the only one I can trust.
-The only one who understands what this me-...
-...-m-means, Mason.
-Yeah, I just....
-Tryin' to remember somethin' somebody once told me about tyin' a fly.
-And only then does our noble friend realize...
-...that the prey can bite back.
-
-Mr. Sweeney, how goes it?
-Well, Costello's finished with the stability profile, but Abbott is still chewing on the load file.
-So reaction temperature is fifty degrees.
-Well, your prediction was on the nose.
-How much longer for the range and power projections?
-I don't know. Um, he's working, but there's a lot of data. Maybe...another hour?
-Dr. Long!
-I got eight thousand yards. Radius is five...
-...miles.
-...you, Mason?
-What? Say again, Ma-...
-...-son.
-What we gave Brynner on the dam was a phony!
-We've got the real thing!
-Where are you now...
-...Mason?
-Mason, what is the temperature of Elvis?!
-Forty-seven.
-If you're not out of there soon, I have got to seal the...
-...tunnel!
-Mason. Mason!
-There's a vent shaft leading straight up.
-So, Mason, last Wednesday night, uh...were you out...
-...uh, drifting around like the trash you are, or were you here workin'?
-If it was Wednesday night, I was workin'.
-Do you recognize this young man?
-Nope. Is there a prob-...
-...-lem?
-You find yourself wearing a...
-...badge someday, then you can ask the questions. Until then...
-...you answer mine.
-Got that?
-So you don't remember...
-...selling this young man beer Wednesday night.
-I don't sell beer to minors. I take that kinda thing...
-...seriously.
-Lying?
-Mason, you wouldn't know the truth if it bit you. We've got your whole record. We know about the-the conviction for vagrancy...
-...public drunkenness....
-I didn't sell the boy any...
-...beer.
-Shut your mouth until I tell you...
-...to talk, son.
-You know, I gotta tell you. That really bothers me, somebody calls me "son."
-Let me see your...
-...hands!
-I said let me see your hands now!
-You redneck idiot, do you have...
-...any idea what's goin' on here?!
-Yeah, asshole. I'm puttin' a murder suspect and a guy who...
-...stole a truck under arrest.
-
-Listen, Pappas...
-...there's a colonel...
-...on the other end of this phone.
-His name's Vitelli. Talk to him. He's right out-...
-...side!
-What happened to Colonel Brynner?
-Wait. Listen to me, Pappas. If you don't let us by...
-...we're all gonna die in this...
-...tunnel now!
-Just go check the temperature.
-Don't move!
-What the hell was that?
-The Army, sealin' us in.
-All right.
-I'll lead 'em out.
-
-You sure?
-Yeah, I'm sure.
-All right, go.
-Okay, doc.
-The usual. Doc.
-Get in
-
-
-
-
-
-
-Gimme this god-...
-...-damn phone.
-Talk to me.
-Arlo.
-
-
-
-Oh.
-We've gotta take out Brynner's van before they reach...
-Do it now.
-Uh, so head for the other end of the tunnel.
-I'll stay here and secure this position.
-It's too late, Mason. I've...
-...gotta seal it.
-Negative. Negative.
-There's ammo fire from Brynner's vehicle.
-He must've had a damn arsenal in there.
-Now! Seal that tunnel now!
-Look at that.
-Barney, who is this bimbo? He a regular customer?
-Take it easy, Jake.
-Look, pal. I make an honest living. People don't come to me unless they're miserable and I help 'em out of a bad situation. I don't kick them out of their homes like you jerks who work in the bank.
-I don't know how that got in the paper as a matter of fact – it surprised me it was so quick. I make an honest living.
-'Course you do, Jake.
-An honest living.
-I'll settle for L.A. County.
-How come all these new names are pasted into the plat book?
-Then these are all new owners?
-That's right.
-But that means that most of the valley's been sold in the last few months.
-If that's what it says.
-Can I check one of these volumes out?
-Sir, this is not a lending library, it's the Hall of Records.
-Well, then, how about a ruler?
-A ruler?
-Sir?
-I said horseshit. Horseshit.
-Always?
-You know, you've got a nasty reputation, Mr. Gittes. I like that.
-Thanks.
-If you were a bank president that would be one thing, but in your business it's admirable. And it's good advertising.
-It doesn't hurt.
-It's why you attract a client like my daughter.
-Probably.
-But I'm surprised you're still working for her, unless she's suddenly come up with another husband.
-How did she get that idea?
-Fine, as long as you don't serve chicken that way.
-Tell me. What do the police say?
-They're calling it an accident.
-Who's the investigating officer?
-Lou Escobar – he's a Lieutenant.
-Do you know him?
-Oh yes.
-Where from?
-We worked in Chinatown together.
-Would you call him a capable man?
-Very.
-Honest?
-Far as it goes. Of course he has to swim in the same water we all do.
-Of course, but you've got no reason to think he's bungled the case?
-None.
-That's too bad.
-Too bad?
-It disturbs me, Mr. Gittes. It makes me think you're taking my daughter for a ride. Financially speaking, of course. How much are you charging her?
-My usual fee, plus a bonus if I come up with any results.
-If you want an answer to that question I can always put one of my men on the job. Good afternoon, Mr. Cross.
-Mr. Gittes! You're dealing with a disturbed woman who's lost her husband. I don't want her taken advantage of. Sit down.
-What for?
-Why is that funny?
-It's what the D.A. used to tell me about Chinatown.
-...Exactly what do you know about me, Mr. Gittes?
-Mainly that you're rich and too respectable to want your name in the papers.
-'Course I'm respectable. I'm old. Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough. I'll double whatever your fees are and I'll pay you ten thousand dollars if you can find Hollis' girlfriend.
-His girlfriend?
-Yes, his girlfriend.
-You mean the little chippie he was with at the El Macando?
-Yes. She's disappeared, hasn't she?
-Yeah.
-Doesn't that strike you as odd?
-No. She's probably scared to death.
-Wouldn't it be useful to talk to her?
-Maybe.
-If Mulwray was murdered, she was probably one of the last people to see him.
-You didn't see Mulwray much, did you?
-No.
-Sheriff's gold posse... bunch of damn fools who pay $5,000 apiece to the sheriff's reelection. I let 'em practice up out here.
-At my age, you tend to lose track...
-I've got the photographs in my office. If they'll help you remember. What was the argument about?
-My daughter.
-What about her?
-Just find the girl, Mr. Gittes. I think she is frightened and I happen to know Hollis was fond of her. I'd like to help her if I can.
-Hollis Mulwray made this city and he made me a fortune... We were a lot closer than Evelyn realized.
-If you want to hire me, I still have to know what you and Mulwray were arguing about.
-Well... she's an extremely jealous person. I didn't want her to find out about the girl.
-How did you find out?
-I've still got a few teeth in my head, Mr. Gittes, and a few friends in town.
-Okay. My secretary'll send you a letter of agreement. Tell me are you worried about that girl, or what Evelyn might do to her?
-Just find the girl.
-I'll look into it as soon as I check out some avocado groves.
-Avocado groves?
-Well, you don't look any the worse for wear, Mr. Gittes, I must say... where's the girl?...
-I've got her.
-Is she all right?
-She's fine.
-Where is she?
-I'd like you to look at something, Mr. Cross.
-What is it?
-An obituary column... can you read in this light?
-What does this mean?
-...the coroner's report showed Mulwray had salt water in his lungs.
-Hollie was always fond of tide-pools. You know what he used to say about them?
-Haven't the faintest idea.
-That's where life begins... marshes, sloughs, tide-pools... he was fascinated by them... you know when we first came out here he figured that if you dumped water onto desert sand it would percolate down into the bedrock and stay there, instead of evaporating the way it does in most reservoirs. You'd lose only twenty percent instead of seventy or eighty. He made this city.
-And that's what you were going to do in the Valley?
-No, Mr. Gittes. That's what I am doing with the Valley. The bond issue passes Tuesday. There'll be ten million to build an aqueduct and reservoir. I'm doing it.
-There's going to be some irate citizens when they find out they're paying for water they're not getting.
-That's all taken care of. You see, Mr. Gittes. Either you bring the water to L.A. or you bring L.A. to the water.
-How do you do that?
-How much are you worth?
-I have no idea. How much do you want?
-I want to know what you're worth. Over ten million?
-Oh, my, yes.
-Then why are you doing it? How much better can you eat? What can you buy that you can't already afford?
-The future, Mr. Gittes. The future. Now where's the girl?... I want the only daughter I have left... as you found out, Evelyn was lost to me a long time ago.
-Hello.
-Have you got your checkbook handy, Mr. Cross? I've got the girl.
-You've got her? Where?
-Do you remember the figures we discussed?
-Of course I do. Where are you?
-At your daughter's house. How soon can you get here?
-Two hours... tell me, will Evelyn be there as well?
-Either that or she'll be in jail.
-What are you talking about?
-She's just no good.
-What can I tell you, Kid? You're right. When you're right, you're right, and you're right.
-You're absolutely right, I wouldn't give her another thought.
-You know, you're okay, Mr. Gittes. I know it's your job, but you're okay.
-Thanks, Curly. Call me Jake.
-Thanks. You know something, Jake?
-What's that, Curly?
-They don't kill a guy for that.
-Oh they don't?
-...No...
-I'll pay the rest next trip. We only caught sixty ton of skipjack around San Benedict. We hit a chubasco, they don't pay you for skipjack the way they do for tuna or albacore.
-What kind of guy do you think I am?
-Thanks, Mr. Gittes.
-Gee, this is a surprise, Mr. Gittes.
-Call me Jake. How is everything?
-Just sitting down to supper, Jake. Care to join us?
-No thanks.
-Sure thing.
-Curly, where's your car?
-In the garage.
-Where's that?
-Off the alley.
-Could you drive me somewhere?
-Sure, as soon as we eat.
-Right now, Curly. It can't wait.
-I'll just tell my wife.
-How much do you owe me, Curly?
-Oh, gee, Mr. Gittes we're going out tomorrow. I know you been real good about it but my cousin Auggie's sick.
-Forget it. How would you like to pay me off by taking a couple of passengers to Ensenada... you'd have to leave tonight.
-I don't know...
-I might be able to squeeze an extra seventy-five bucks out of it for you. Maybe an even hundred.
-Plus what I owe you?
-I'll throw that in too.
-Tell Mrs. Mulwray to wait for half an hour after you get there. Then if I don't show, take her down to the boat.
-You sure this is okay?
-So there's this fella who's tired of screwing his wife.
-Jake, listen.
-There's seven ashtrays in this room, Duffy.
-Okay.
-That's a filthy habit.
-I said okay, Jake.
-Then what'll you do?
-Yes.
-I've been wanting to meet you.
-Why?
-Did you know that you're a very wealthy woman?
-I'm not.
-Well you own a lot of land.
-That's just lovely.
-Where did you get this material?
-The apple core club.
-The apple core?
-No. The albacore. It's a fish. My grandson's a member and they take very nice care of us.
-How do they do that?
-Give us things. Not just some old flag like this, but –-
-Hello, Jake.
-How are you, Lou?
-I have a cold I can't seem to shake but other than that, I'm fine.
-Summer colds are the worst.
-Thanks, Lou.
-How'd you get past the guards?
-You've done well by yourself.
-I get by.
-You're behind the times, Jake. They've got steam irons now. And I'm out of Chinatown.
-Since when?
-Congratulations.
-Uh-huh. So what are you doing here?
-Looking for someone.
-Who?
-Hollis Mulwray. You seen him?
-Oh yes.
-I'd like to talk to him.
-You wouldn't happen to know the present whereabouts of the young woman.
-No.
-Or her name?
-I don't want it anymore.
-No?
-No. It was an accident.
-No, he drowned a cousin of mine with about five hundred other people. But they weren't very important, just a bunch of dumb Mexicans living by a dam. Now beat it, Gittes, you don't come out of this smelling like a rose, you know.
-Oh yeah? Can you think of something to charge me with?
-What are you doing here?
-Didn't you call?
-How do you happen to know her?
-I don't.
-Isn't that your number?
-Is it? I forget. I don't call myself that often.
-Yeah, I took 'em. So what?
-You really think I'm stupid, don't you, Gittes?
-I don't think about it one way or the other. But if you want, give me a day or two, and I'll get back to you. Now I'd like to go home.
-I want the rest of the pictures.
-What pictures?
-This broad hired you, Gittes, not Evelyn Mulwray.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. Somebody wanted to shake down Mulwray, she hired you, and that's how you happen to know Mulwray was murdered.
-I heard it was an accident.
-You were following him night and day. You saw who killed him. You even took pictures of it. It was Evelyn Mulwray. She's been paying you off like a slot machine ever since her husband died.
-You accusing me of extortion?
-Absolutely.
-I don't think I need a day or two. You're even dumber than you think I think you are. Not only that, I'd never extort a nickel out of my worst enemy, that's where I draw the line, Escobar.
-Yeah, I once knew a whore who for enough money would piss in a customer's face, but she'd never shit on his chest. That's where she drew the line.
-I want those photographs, Gittes. We're talking about accessory after the fact, conspiracy, and extortion. Minimum.
-Mulwray was murdered and moved because somebody didn't want his body found in the ocean.
-And why's that?
-What are you talking about?
-It's too late.
-Too late for what?
-I know what he says.
-I don't suppose you got any idea Where she went?
-Matter of fact I do.
-Where?
-Her maid's house. I think she knows something's up.
-What's the maid's address?
-She lives in Pedro. I'll write it down for you.
-No, Gittes, you'll show us.
-What for?
-If she's not there, you're going downtown, and you're staying there til she shows up.
-Gee, Lou, I'm doing the best I can.
-That's it?
-Yeah.
-Well, let's go.
-You never learn, do you, Gittes?
-I guess not.
-Give you three minutes.
-Mrs. Mulwray, you don't want to run around like that.
-Oh, Christ. Escobar, you don't know what's going on. Let her go. I'll explain it later.
-Mrs. Mulwray, it's a very serious offense pointing that at an officer of the law. It's a felony.
-Let her go. She didn't kill anybody.
-I'm sorry, Mrs. Mulwray.
-Lou, she will kill you. Let her go for now. You don't know.
-Who is he, get his name? I'll kill him.
-Take it easy, take it easy, it was an accident.
-Get him away from her. He's responsible for everything. Get him away from her!
-It looks like he was washed the entire length of the runoff channel. Could he swim?
-Of course.
-...Well, it didn't make him happy...
-But there is no possibility he would have taken his own life?
-No.
-No.
-Do you know where she might be?
-You and your husband never discussed her?
-He... we did... he wouldn't tell me her name. We quarreled over her... of course. It came as a complete surprise to me.
-A complete surprise?
-Yes.
-But I thought you'd hired a private investigator.
-A private investigator?
-Mr. Gittes.
-Will you need me for anything else, Lieutenant?
-Not that Mulwray?
-Yes, that Mulwray, Mr. Gittes. And since you agree with me we've never met, you must also agree that I haven't hired you to do anything. Certainly not spy on my husband. I see you like publicity, Mr. Gittes. Well, you're going to get it.
-Would you like something to drink?
-What are you having?
-Iced tea.
-My husband's at the office.
-Actually he's not. And he's moved from his apartment at the El Macando.
-That's not his apartment.
-I'm just trying to make a living, and I don't want to become a local Joke.
-Mr. Gittes, you've talked me into it. I'll drop the lawsuit.
-What?
-So let's just drop the whole thing. Sugar? Lemon?
-Mrs. Mulwray?
-Yes, Mr. Gittes?
-I should talk this over with your husband.
-Why?... What on earth for? Look, Hollis seems to think you're an innocent man.
-You see, somebody went to a lot of trouble here, and I want to find out, lawsuit or no lawsuit. I'm not the one who's supposed to be caught with my pants down... so I'd like to see your husband. Unless that's a problem.
-What do you mean?
-May I speak frankly, Mrs. Mulwray?
-You may if you can, Mr. Gittes.
-Well, that little girlfriend, she was attractive in a cheap sort of way of course. She's disappeared. Maybe they disappeared together somewhere.
-Suppose they did. How does it concern you?
-Nothing personal, Mrs. Mulwray, I just --
-It's very personal. It couldn't be more personal. Is this a business or an obsession with you?
-No. I went riding rather early.
-Looks like you went quite a distance.
-No, Just riding bareback, that's all. Anyway, you might try the Oak Pass or Stone Canyon Reservoirs. Sometimes at lunch Hollis takes walks around them. Otherwise he'll be home by 6:30.
-I'll stop by.
-Mrs. Mulwray?... Mrs. Mulwray.
-...Just a minute...
-You left your keys in the ignition.
-Thank you for going along with me. I just didn't want to explain anything... I'll send you a check.
-I got your check in the mall.
-Mrs. Mulwray, I'm afraid that's not good enough.
-Well, how much would you like?
-Stop it. The money's fine. It's generous but you've shortchanged me on the story.
-I have?
-I think so. Something besides your husband's death was bothering you. You were upset but not that upset.
-Sorry. Look, you sue me, your husband dies, you drop the lawsuit like a hot potato, and all of it quicker than wind from a duck's ass. Excuse me. Then you ask me to lie to the police.
-It wasn't much of a lie.
-If your husband was killed it was. This can look like you paid me off to withhold evidence.
-Well, I suppose I am... actually I knew about the affair.
-How did you find out?
-My husband.
-And you weren't the slightest bit upset about it?
-You'll have to explain that, Mrs. Mulwray.
-Why?
-Unless what?
-I don't like the word 'cheat.'
-Did you have affairs?
-Mr. Gittes.
-Did he know?
-Is there anything else you want to know?
-Where you were when your husband died.
-I can't tell you.
-You mean you don't know where you were?
-I mean I can't tell you.
-For very long?
-K... Cross.
-That your maiden name?
-Yes... why?
-You must've had a reason to ask me that.
-No. I'm just a snoop.
-You seem to have had a reason for every other question.
-No, not for that one.
-How did it happen?
-Been meaning to talk to you about that.
-Maybe putting your nose in other people's business?
-Another satisfied client?
-Oh, no. I've got my own car. The creamcolored Packard.
-Wait a minute, sonny. I think you better come with me.
-Whoever's behind my husband's death, why have they gone to all this trouble?
-Money. How they plan to make it by emptying the reservoirs, that I don't know.
-Your father is Julian Cross, isn't he?
-Yes, of course. It was quite a while after. I was just out of grade school when they did that.
-You've got one going, Mrs. Mulwray.
-Is there something upsetting about my asking about your father?
-No!... Yes, a little. You see Hollis and my fa... my father had a falling out...
-Over the water department, or over you?
-Not over me. Why would they have a falling out over me?
-Then it was over the water department.
-Not exactly. Well, I mean, yes. Yes and no. Hollis felt the public should own the water but I don't think my father felt that way. Actually, it was over the Van der Lip. The dam that broke.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yes. He never forgave him for it.
-Never forgave him for what?
-For talking him into building it, he never forgave my father... They haven't spoken to this day.
-You sure shout that?
-Of course I'm sure.
-What are you thinking?
-That dam is a con job.
-What dam?
-The one your husband opposed. They're conning L.A. into building it, only the water won't go to L.A. It'll go here.
-The Valley?
-Everything you can see, everything around us. I was at the Hall of Records today. That bother you?
-No.
-In the last three months, Robert Knox has bought 7,000 acres, Emma Dill 12,000 acres, Clarence Speer 5,000 acres, and Jasper Lamar Crabb 25,000 acres.
-Jasper Lamar Crabb?
-Know him?
-No, I think I'd remember.
-Yeah. They've been blowing these farmers out of here and buying their land for peanuts. Have any idea what this land'll be worth with a steady water supply? About thirty million more than they paid.
-And Hollis knew about it?
-We got it. We got it, baby.
-What? What is it?
-There was a memorial service at the Mar Vista Inn today for Jasper Lamar Crabb. He died three weeks ago.
-Is that unusual?
-You're looking at the owners of a 50,000 acre empire.
-They can't be.
-I'll stay.
-Maid's night off?
-Why?
-What do you mean, 'why?' Nobody's here, that's all.
-I gave everybody the night off.
-Easy, it's an innocent question.
-No question from you is innocent, Mr. Gittes.
-Tell me something. Does this usually happen to you, Mr. Gittes?
-What's that, Mrs. Mulwray?
-Well, I'm only judging on the basis of one afternoon and an evening, but if that's how you go about your work, I'd say you're lucky to get through a whole day.
-Actually this hasn't happened to me in some time.
-When was the last time?
-Why?
-It was in Chinatown.
-What were you doing there?
-Working for the District Attorney.
-As little as possible.
-The District Attorney gives his men advice like that?
-Boy oh boy, you're a mess.
-Yeah.
-So why does it bother you to talk about it... Chinatown...
-Hold still. Why?
-You can't always tell what's going on there.
-...No. Why was it.
-I thought I was keeping someone from being hurt and actually I ended up making sure they were hurt.
-What's wrong?
-Your eye.
-What about it?
-There's something black in the green part of your eye.
-Oh that... It's a flaw in the iris...
-...A flaw...
-Where?
-Just... I have to.
-And I want to know where.
-Please don't be angry... believe me, it's got nothing to do with you.
-Where are you going?
-Please!... Trust me this much... I'll be back. Look, there is something I should tell you. The fishing club that old lady mentioned, the pieces off the flag.
-The Albacore Club.
-It has to do with my father.
-I know.
-He owns it. You know?
-I saw him.
-You saw my fa... father? When?
-This morning.
-You didn't tell me.
-What did he say? What did he say?
-That you were jealous, and he was worried about what you might do.
-Do? To who?
-I want you to listen to me. My father is a very dangerous man. You don't know how dangerous. You don't know how crazy.
-Give me an example.
-You may think you know what's going on, but you don't.
-That's what your father said. You're telling me he's in back of this whole thing?
-It's possible.
-Including the death of your husband?
-Okay, give me the keys.
-You bastard.
-It's either that or you drive to the police yourself.
-The police?
-C'mon, Mrs. Mulwray. You've got your husband's girlfriend tied up in there!
-She's not tied up!
-You know what I mean. You're keeping her there against her will.
-I am not!
-She's too upset.
-What about?
-Hollis' death. I tried to keep it from her, I didn't want her upset before I could make plans for her to leave.
-You mean she just found out?
-Yes.
-That's not what it looks like, Mrs. Mulwray.
-What does it look like?
-Like she knows about Hollis' death. Like she knows more than you want her to tell.
-Just tell me the truth. I'm not the police. I don't care what you've done. I'm not going to hurt you, but one way or another I'm going to know.
-You won't go to the police if I tell you?
-I can't...
-I took your husband's Buick... I'll return it tomorrow.
-Aren't you coming back with me?
-Don't worry. I'm not telling anybody about this.
-Did you get some sleep?
-Sure.
-Did you have lunch? Kyo will fix you something.
-Where's the girl?
-Upstairs. Why?
-I want to see her.
-Going somewhere?
-J. J. Gittes for Lieutenant Escobar
-What are you doing? What's wrong? I told you we've got a 4:30.
-You're going to miss your train! Lou, meet me at 1412 Adelaide. It's above Santa Monica Canyon... yeah, soon as you can.
-What did you do that for?
-You know any good criminal lawyers?
-No...
-Don't worry. I can recommend a couple. They're expensive but you can afford it.
-I found these in your backyard... in your fish pond. They belonged to your husband, didn't they?... didn't they?
-I don't know. I mean yes, probably.
-Yes positively. That's where he was drowned...
-What are you saying?
-There's no time for you to be shocked by the truth, Mrs. Mulwray. The coroner's report proves he was killed in salt water. Just take my word for it. Now I want to know how it happened and why. I want to know before Escobar gets here because I want to hang onto my license.
-Stop it! I'll make it easy. You were jealous, you fought, he fell, hit his head. It was an accident, but his girl is a witness. You've had to pay her off. You don't have the stomach to harm her, but you've got the money to shut her up. Yes or no?
-...no...
-That's good. Now what's her name?
-Katherine.
-Katherine?... Katherine who?
-I said the truth!
-I said I want the truth.
-...he had a breakdown... the dam broke... my mother died... he became a little boy... I was fifteen... he'd ask me what to eat for breakfast, what clothes to wear!... It happened... then I ran away...
-Hollis came and took... care of me... after she was born... he said... he took care of her... I couldn't see her... I wanted to but I couldn't... I just want to see her once in a while... take care of her... that's all... but I don't want her to know... I don't want her to know...
-Yeah... where are you taking her now?
-Back to Mexico.
-You can't go by train. Escobar'll be looking for you everywhere.
-How about a plane?
-That's worse... Just get out of here. Walk out, leave everything.
-I have to go home and get my things.
-I'll take care of it.
-Where can we go?
-...where does Kyo live?
-With us.
-On his day off. Get the exact address.
-How do you know?
-Let me handle that.
-I'm all right.
-Walsh here?
-Sophie, go to the little girl's room for a minute.
-But, Mr. Gittes.
-Sophie.
-Sophie.
-Yes, Mr. Gittes.
-Where'd he go yesterday?
-Three reservoirs. Men's room of a Richfield gas station on Flower, and the Pig 'n Whistle.
-Jesus Christ, this guy's really got water on the brain.
-What'd you expect? That's his job.
-Listen, we can't string this broad out indefinitely we got to come up with something.
-I think I got something.
-Oh yeah? You pick up the watch?
-Sophie... is Walsh there?... yeah, listen, pal, Escobar's going to try and book me in about five minutes... relax, I'll tell you. Wait in the office for two hours. If you don't hear from me, you and Duffy meet me at 1712 Alameda.
-Hello, Miss Sessions. I don't believe we've had the pleasure.
-Oh yes we have... are you alone, Mr. Gittes?
-Well, I'm a working girl, Mr. Gittes. I didn't come in to see you on my own.
-When did you come in?
-Shut the fuck up! ...Yes I remember nothing, Miss Sessions, just going over a detail or two with my associates... you were saying?
-Well I never expected anything to happen like what happened to Mr. Mulwray, the point is if it ever comes out I want somebody to know I didn't know what would happen.
-I understand... if you could tell me who employed you, Miss Sessions. That could help us both.
-Oh no.
-...Why don't you give me your address and we can talk this over?
-No, Mr. Gittes. Just look in the obituary column of today's Times...
-The obituary column?
-You'll find one of those people.
-Yeah, Sophie.
-A Miss Sessions calling.
-Who?
-Ida Sessions.
-Miss Ida Sessions again. She says you know her.
-Oh my goodness.
-Naturally, I want the best for him, money is no object.
-Perhaps if we could meet your father.
-There's just one question.
-Of course.
-I'm sorry. We don't.
-Just to be certain, I wonder if you could show us a list of your patients?
-That's exactly what we wanted to hear.
-Oh, good.
-I wonder, is it too late for us to have a look around?
-I don't think so. Be happy to show you.
-Would you mind if we took a stroll on our own?
-Just, if you will, confine yourself to the main building. It's nearly bedtime.
-Can I help you? Russ Yelburton, Deputy Chief in the Department.
-J.J. Gittes. And it's not a departmental matter.
-After all, you work with a man for a certain length of time, you come to know him, his habits, his values, and so forth. Well either he's the kind who chases after women or he isn't.
-And Mulwray isn't?
-He never even kids about it.
-You don't happen to know where Mr. Mulwray's having lunch?
-I'm sorry, I --
-Mind if I take one of your cards? In case I want to get in touch with you again.
-Relax, Mulvihill, glad to see you. Do you know Claude Mulvihill here?
-Mr. Gittes, sorry to keep you waiting. These staff meetings, they just go on and on.
-Yeah, must be especially tough to take over under these circumstances.
-Oh yes. Hollis was the best department head the city's ever had. My goodness, what happened to your nose?
-I cut myself shaving.
-You ought to be more careful. That must really smart.
-Only when I breathe.
-Only when you breathe... don't tell me you're still working for Mrs. Mulwray?
-I never was.
-I don't understand.
-Neither do I, actually. But you hired me or you hired that chippie to hire me.
-Mr. Gittes, you're not making a bit of sense.
-Well, look at it this way, Mr. Yelburton. Mulwray didn't want to build a dam and he had a reputation that was hard to get around, so. you decided to ruin it. Then he found out that you were dumping water every night. Then he was drowned.
-Mr. Gittes! That's an outrageous accusation. I don't know what you're talking about.
-Wait. Please sit down, Mr. Gittes. We're... well, we're not anxious for this to get around, but we have been diverting a little water to irrigate avocado and walnut groves in the northwest valley. As you know, the farmers there have no legal right to our water, and since the drought we've had to cut them off. The city comes first, naturally. But, well,
-Yeah, a little runoff. Where are those orchards?
-I said, the northwest valley.
-That's like saying they're in Arizona.
-You're a married man, am I right?
-Yes...
-Hard working, have a wife and kids...
-Yes...
-Mr. Gittes?
-Yes?
-Do you know me?
-Well... I think I... I would've remembered.
-Have we ever met?
-Well, no.
-Never?
-Never.
-Speak English?... Habla Ingles?
-Si.
-The water.
-What about the water?
-When it comes.
-When it comes? What'd you tell him?
-Jake, what're you doin' here?
-Yeah? Ain't that something? Middle of a drought, the water commissioner drowns. Only in L.A.
-Yeah. Banged up pretty bad.
-That's a long fall.
-Yeah.
-Come again?
-Yeah, got dead drunk, passed out in the bottom of the riverbed.
-The L.A. River?
-It's bone dry, Morty.
-It's not completely dry.
-Gittes?... Gittes?
-Yeah.
-Ida Sessions wants to see you.
-Yeah?... I do?
-Sure you do.
-How do you do, Mrs. Mulwray?
-Mr. Gittes...
-No, really?
-I'm afraid so.
-Can't we talk about this alone, Mr. Gittes?
-I'm afraid not, Mrs. Mulwray. These men are my operatives and at some point they're going to assist me. I can't do everything myself.
-Of course not.
-Mrs. Mulwray, do you love your husband?
-...Yes of course.
-Then go home and forget about it.
-But...
-I'm sure he loves you, too. You know the expression, let sleeping dogs lie? You're better off not knowing.
-All right, what's your husband's first name?
-Hollis. Hollis Mulwray.
-This type of investigation can be hard on your pocketbook, Mrs. Mulwray. It takes time.
-No problem with me on the Job.
-Yeah. Do you have any references?
-City of La Habra Heights filled an 800,000 gallon reservoir with sixteen inches of rain in two days.
-That's swell. But how about here? Ever worked for Robert Knox, Emma Dill, Clarence Speer, Marian Parsons, or Jasper Lamar Crabb?
-Never heard of 'em... new owners?
-Yeah.
-Lot of turnover these days. Better tell them to get in touch with me if they want to hang onto their land.
-Mr. Mulwray, please.
-He's not in, Mr.?
-Gittes.
-May I ask what this is regarding?
-It's personal. Has he been out long?
-Since lunch.
-Gee whiz. And I'm late.
-He was expecting you?
-Mr. Yelburton will be busy for some time.
-Well I'm on my lunch hour. I'll wait.
-He's liable to be tied up indefinitely.
-Julian Cross worked for the water department?
-Yes. No.
-He did or he didn't?
-He owned the water department?
-Yes.
-He owned the entire water supply for the city?
-Yes.
-How did they get it away from him?
-Mr. Mulwray felt the public should own the display. The water. If you'll just read the display.
-Mulwray? I thought you said Cross owned the department.
-Along with Mr. Mulwray.
-They were partners.
-This?
-They got into a terrific argument outside the Pig 'n Whistle.
-What about?
-I don't know. The traffic was pretty loud. I only heard one thing – apple core.
-Apple core?
-Jesus Christ, Walsh. That's what you spent your day doing?
-Look, you tell me to take pictures, I take pictures.
-Look, Jake. She gave us Mulwray's real phone number and address.
-All she needed for that was the phone book!
-No, no. She said not to call, her husband might answer.
-So he says you sent them?
-Think you can nail Mulvihill? They'll claim you were trespassing.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. What's wrong with you guys? Think ahead. We find 'em, sue 'em. We'll make a killing. We'll have dinner at Chasen's twice a week, we'll be pissing on ice the rest of our lives.
-Duffy, go over and sit on Mulvihill. Jesus Christ, I didn't tell you to bring the police department with you.
-Jake, it's Chinatown. They're all over the place. You oughta know better.
-What's that, pal?
-Nothing. You got a hell of a way to make a living.
-Oh? What do you do to make ends meet?
-Tell me, how many people a week do you foreclose on?
-We don't publish a record in the paper, I can tell you that.
-Neither do I.
-Not exactly.
-Lots of fellas do. Tell the little woman they're going on a fishing trip, then shack up with some little twist on the island... she pretty?
-I'm going to see a man called Julian Cross. Ever heard of him?
-Is the Pope Catholic? Who are you, mister?... I ask because he doesn't see a whole lot of people.
-I'm working for his daughter.
-That right?... She used to be some looker.
-She ain't exactly long in the tooth now.
-She must be about thirty-three, thirty- four.
-You must be thinking of a different daughter.
-No, he's only got one, I remember her age, I read it in the newspapers when she ran away.
-She ran away?
-Course, she settled down nicely.
-Well, you never know, do you?
-That's for sure.
-Why'd she run away?
-Oh, you know. She was sixteen or seventeen.
-She ran off to Mexico. Rumor was she was knocked up and didn't even know who the father was. Went there to get rid of it.
-You don't say?
-You must not come here! How many times do I have to tell you? If the film catches fire, runt that you are, you'd go up in a burst of flame...whoosh! And turn into a piece of...
-'Cause sometimes you can't find the right place any more and so...well, actually...they stay here. Besides, there are more kisses than you can count.
-So I can have these?
-What are you doing here?
-Signora Maria, don't do that. He's just a kid. And why are you telling fibs? We let him in free. He must have lost the money inside the movie theatre... How much did you have?
-Fifty lire...
-Alfredo, did you know my father?
-'I choose my friends for their looks, and my enemies for their brains...' You're too smart to be my friend. Besides, as I always tell my kids, be careful to pick the right friends!
-But you don't have any kids!!!
-I told my mother you weren't the one who gave me the films. That it wasn't your fault. But I thought you said the film could catch fire just to scare me. Now that I know, I won't steal any more from you. That's all I wanted to say. I'm going.
-Now listen to what I've got to say. I took up this profession when I was ten years old. In those days there weren't these modern machines. The films were silent. The projectors were run by hand, like this, with a crank. And you wound the crank all day long. It was really rough going! If you got tired and slowed down' boom! Everything
-Then why don't you want to teach it to me too? Now that there's no more cranking, and it's easier?
-Because I don't want to, Toto! This is not a job for you. It's like being a slave. You're always alone. You see the same film over and over again, because you have nothing else to do. And you start talking to Greta Garbo and Tyrone Power like a nut! You work on holidays, on Christmas, on Easter. Only on Good Friday are you
-Then why don't you change jobs?
-Because I'm an idiot. How many other guys in town know how to be a projectionist? None! Only a jerk like me could do it. Besides I wasn't lucky. When I was a kid there was the war! When I grew up, another war! Now it's all different. Times have changed. And you want to be a dope like me? Huh? Answer me!
-No...
-Good for you, Toto. Good for you... I'm only saying this for your own good... Cooped up in here you die of heat in the summer and of cold in the winter. You breathe in smoke, gas fumes, and earn practically nothing.
-But don't you like anything about what you do?
-With time...you get used to it. Besides, when you hear from up here that there's a full house and that people are laughing, having fun... Then you're happy too. So I've been wasting my breath? You pretend to agree with me, but as soon as my back is turned, you do what you want! Get out of here! I don't want to lay eyes
-You understand which side the gelatin's on?
-Will they really find work in Germany?
-Who knows?...It's like an adventure. Hope springs eternal...
-It's got to be sent to another town. And if we don't the owner of that movie house gets pissed off.
-Any room for me in this Cinema Paradiso?
-How's school?
-OK. OK. But now that I've got a job, I'11 probably stop going...
-Don't do that...Sooner or later you'll be left empty-handed.
-Why? What do you mean?
-Yes. I want proof.
-What'd I tell you? It doesn't catch fire!
-Chaplin's Modern Times! Right, Toto?
-That's right, Modern Times.
-I've shown it so many times I know it by heart. The first time I showed it, in 1940, was the Sunday my first wife died. They kept it hidden from me all day so they wouldn't have to close down the movie house. I only found out that night, after the last show. Those are things you never forget... So, Toto, how are
-Yes.
-What is it, what is it? What's the picture?
-Now what can you see?
-Nothing, there's nothing. It's all out of focus.
-Yes, it's a girl I saw at the station.
-Eh! Love...what a mystery! I understand you, Toto...The ones with blue eyes are the most beautiful. Whatever you do, you can't make friends with them. Eh, there's nothing to be done about it! The heavier a man is, the deeper his footprints. And if he's in love, he suffers, because he knows he's up a one-way street. Because love is a meaningless thing when
-What you say is wonderful! But sad...
-I told you, the blue-eyed ones are the most difficult.
-But why? There must be some way to make her understand!
-Stop it! I've had enough of your sermons! You act as if you created the world!
-Heeey! Totooooo! Don't get pissed off with me now! Come here! I don't know where the fuck I have to go. And the next time be careful how you talk. Not to take credit away from the Lord, but if I had created the world, in all modesty, certain things would have come out better. But unfortunately such was not the case.
-You see, it s like I say. You always have an answer for everything.
-I want to make you happy, Toto! I'm going to tell you a story. Once upon a time a king gave a feast and there were all the most beautiful princesses of the realm. Basta, one of the guards, saw the king's daughter: she was the loveliest of all! And he immediately fell in love with her. But what could a poor soldier do
-Toto, are you pulling my leg or something? How is it possible to see this television without film?
-Just so, Alfredo. There isn't any. And if you buy a television set, you can watch it at home, without any fuss...
-You weren't expecting me?
-No, Alfredo, I was coming to help you...
-But where'd you go, Toto?!!
-I'm here! Take it easy! Take it easy! Sit down, sit down... Did she come?
-You 're thinner...You can tell you've not been treated well. .
-They tell me you never go out, never talk to anybody. Why?
-Did you ever see her again?
-No. And nobody knows where she is.
-Listen to this one...The commander says to the sergeant: 'You remember that windmill that used to be there?' 'Yes, sir, I remember the mill's gone but the wind's still there!' You remember the story of the soldier and the princess?
-Now I understand why the soldier went away just before the end. That's right, just one more night and the princess would have been his. But she, also, could not have kept her promise. And...that would have been terrible, he would have died from it. So instead, for ninety-nine nights at least he had lived with the illusion that she was there waiting for
-Do like the soldier, Toto! Go away! This land is cursed. When you're here every day you feel like you're at the center of the universe, it seems like nothing ever changes. Then you go away, one year, two...And when you come back, everything's different. The thread has broken. You don't find those you were looking for, your things no longer exist. Isn't that
-Who said that? Gary Cooper, James Stewart, Henry Fonda? Huh?
-Thanks for all you've done for me.
-Good morning, father. It's hard on the feet, huh?
-What is it, Alfredo? Right now, of all times!
-But Alfredo, what you're saying is horrifying!
-You understand now? You see it clearly?
-Oh yes, father. Now everything's clear.
-My name's Salvatore...And yours?
-Hi, Elena!
-Hi. Why are you running?
-No particular reason... Nice day, huh?
-Yes, nice day. ...I've got to go now. Bye-bye.
-Father, I have sinned...
-We'll talk about that later.
-But...who...
-I don't care. I'll wait.
-For what?
-You have a great future as a driver. If they don't arrest you first!!
-Elena!...But when...
-So what'd they say?
-No, Salvatore. You'd better go. It's my father.
-Good, this way we can finally talk. I'll convince him this time.
-He won't be convinced, Salvatore. He has other plans for me.
-Who?
-You're still beautiful...
-Don't be silly...I'm old. Don't look at me like that, please. Why'd you come back?
-Alfredo died. Do you remember him?
-I saw your daughter. She's beautiful! Who knows how many Salvatores must be running after her...
-One or two. Bur there're not all that many Salvatores. I've got a son, too...he's older. And you, do you have children?
-No. And I'm not married. Are you happy?
-My husband...you know him.
-Sure, sure! Boccia... What's he do?
-But I've never forgotten you, Elena!
-It's the first time I've had to chance to tell the story. I never mentioned it to anybody.
-Alfredo, damn him! He cast his spell on you too!
-Oh, how I looked for you, Elena! You'll never know. I wrote, telephoned, nothing. Nobody ever answered. But I dreamt of you for years! That's why I went away...and never came back here. Even as the years passed, in all the women I met, I was only looking for you. I had success it's true, but there was always something missing... I'd never have
-But I never saw that note! I must have covered it with my hand, without realizing it, that's the only explanation...
-No, Salvatore...there is no future. There's only the past. Even meeting last night was nothing but a dream, a beautiful dream. We never did it when we were kids, remember? Now that it's happened, I don't think there could have been a better ending.
-I don't remember him any more—Ma, where's Russia?
-I've been looking for you all day. Did you buy the milk?
-No...
-Then where's the money?
-Daddy's not coming back...He's dead.
-Lia'll be so glad to see you, you'll see. And you won't recognize the kids any more, they're grown up by now.
-See how pretty the house is? We did everything over. If it hadn't been for you! Come, I have a surprise.... You must be tired. If you want to rest, there's time before the funeral.
-No, Mamma, it only takes an hour by air, you know.
-No...It's nothing to do with you. It's just that I was scared of coming back. Now, after all these years, I thought I was strong, that I had forgotten lots of things. Instead, I find it's quite the opposite, as if I had never left. And yet, I look at Lia and feel as if I didn't know her, and you, Mamma...I abandoned you,
-And I never asked for one! You have nothing to explain. I always thought that what you did was right, and that was that. With no beating around the bush... Only one thing made me suffer: bolting the door shut before going to bed at night...
-Don Ciccio, I've got an idea...You remember that old abandoned movie house where they're supposed to build those low-rent houses?
-So what's that got to do with it?
-The projector's all rusty, but I could fix it in two or three days. Give the place a good cleaning, put in some seats and bring in a projectionist and we'll show Catene in two houses.
-Toto, this is no film for the common herd. One day'll be more than enough...So tonight, please set up tomorrow's film, so the projectionist who is coming will find it ready.
-How long's it been shut?
-But why do you call me 'Mr. Di Vita'? It didn't used to be that way...
-Mr. Bernstein, Mr. Thatcher -
-That's all right. We have no secrets from our readers. Mr. Thatcher is one of our most devoted readers, Mr. Bernstein. He knows what's wrong with every issue since I've taken charge. What's the cable?
-That's fine, Mr. Kane.
-He sure did, Mr. Kane.
-Mr. Kane -
-Hey, Brad! Brad! He ain't been drinking before, Mr. Kane. Never. We would have heard.
-"Miss Susan Alexander, a pretty but hopelessly incompetent amateur - - last night opened the new Chicago Opera House in a performance of - of -" I can't pronounce that name, Mr. Kane.
-"Her singing, happily, is no concern of this department. Of her acting, it is absolutely impossible to..."
-Go on!
-Of her acting, it is absolutely impossible to say anything except that it represents a new low... Have you got that, Mr. Bernstein? In the opinion of this reviewer -
-I didn't see that.
-It isn't here, Mr. Bernstein. I'm dictating it.
-I can't take shorthand.
-I've just made a shocking discovery. The "Enquirer" is without a telephone. Have two installed at once!
-Three cents.
-This is all figured at three cents a copy.
-Re-figure it, Mr. Bernstein, at two cents.
-All right, but I'll keep these figures, too, just in case.
-Ready for dinner, Brad?
-It's a saying, Mr. Bernstein. A new broom sweeps clean.
-My Declaration of Principles - Don't smile, Brad - Take dictation, Mr. Bernstein -
-I can't take shorthand, Mr. Kane -
-You don't wanta make any promises, Mr. Kane, you don't wanta keep.
-Let's hope they like it there.
-From the Chronicle Building that sign is the biggest thing you can see - every floor guaranteed - let's hope it bothers them - it cost us enough.
-Say, with them fellows - - it's no trick to get circulation.
-You're right, Mr. Bernstein.
-You know how long it took the "Chronicle" to get that staff together? Twenty years.
-Gentlemen of the "Enquirer"! This has, I think, been a fitting welcome to those distinguished journalists - Mr. Reilly in particular - who are the latest additions to our ranks. It will make them happy to learn that the "Enquirer's" circulation this morning passed the two hundred thousand mark.
-But please, Mr. Kane, don't buy any more paintings. Nine Venuses already we got, twenty-six Virgins - two whole warehouses full of stuff -
-Ask them to sit down, Mr. Bernstein.
-So then, tonight, we go over everything thoroughly, eh? Especially the new papers -
-We certainly do. Vacation's over - starting right after dinner. But right now - that lady over there - - that's the new society editor, I take it? You think I could interrupt her a moment, Mr. Bernstein?
-It's wonderful, Mr. Kane. Wonderful. Wonderful.
-You don't really think so?
-I do. I do. I mean, since you're running for Governor - and you want to be elected - I think it's wonderful you're going to be elected. Only - - Can I say something?
-Please, Mr. Bernstein.
-Go in and ask him to hurry.
-Well, why don't you, Mr. Bernstein? You know Mr. Leland.
-I might make him nervous.
-You and Leland and Mr. Kane - you were great friends back in the old days, I understand.
-He's a great guy - Leland. Why'd he ever leave New York?
-Yes. I thought it was a good idea. We've covered it from the news end, of course.
-And the social. How about the music notice? You got that in?
-Oh, yes, it's already made up. Our Mr. Mervin wrote a small review.
-Enthusiastic?
-Yes, very! Naturally.
-Who's a busy man? Me? I'm Chairman of the Board. I got nothing but time ... What do you want to know?
-Well, Mr. Bernstein, you were with Mr. Kane from the very beginning -
-From before the beginning, young fellow. And now it's after the end. Anything you want to know about him - about the paper -
-- We thought maybe, if we can find out what he meant by that last word - as he was dying -
-That Rosebud? Maybe some girl? There were a lot of them back in the early days, and -
-Not some girl he knew casually and then remembered after fifty years, on his death bed -
-You're pretty young, Mr. - Mr. Thompson. A fellow will remember things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on a ferry and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in - - and on it, there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on
-I'm calling on people who knew Mr. Kane. I'm calling on you.
-Who else you been to see?
-Well, I went down to Atlantic City -
-Susie? I called her myself the day after he died. I thought maybe somebody ought to... She couldn't even come to the 'phone.
-You know why? She was so -
-Sure, sure.
-I'm going back there.
-Who else did you see?
-Nobody else, but I've been through that stuff of Walter Thatcher's. That journal of his -
-Thatcher! That man was the biggest darn fool I ever met -
-He made an awful lot of money.
-He finished it. He wrote the worst notice I ever read about the girl he loved. We ran it in every paper.
-I guess Mr. Kane didn't think so well of Susie's art anyway.
-He thought she was great, Mr. Thompson. He really believed that. He put all his ambition on that girl. After she came along, he never really cared for himself like he used to. Oh, I don't blame Susie -
-Well, then, how could he write that roast? The notices in the Kane papers were always very kind to her.
-The way things turned out, I don't need to tell you - Miss Emily Norton was no rosebud!
-It didn't end very well, did it?
-It ended - Then there was Susie - that ended, too. I guess he didn't make her very happy - You know, I was thinking - that Rosebud you're trying to find out about -
-Yes -
-Maybe that was something he lost. Mr. Kane was a man that lost - almost everything he had - You ought to talk to Bradford Leland. He could tell you a lot. I wish I could tell you where Leland is, but I don't know myself. He may be out of town somewhere - he may be dead.
-In case you'd like to know, Mr. Bernstein, he's at the Huntington Memorial Hospital on 180th Street.
-You don't say! Why I had no idea -
-Nothing particular the matter with him, they tell me. Just -
-I'm not guaranteeing a thing, Mr. Bernstein. You people work too fast for me! Talk about new brooms!
-We'll be on the street soon, Charlie - another ten minutes.
-Wasted?
-Charlie?!
-Sixty-two thousand -
-Do you, Mr. Leland?
-Isn't it wonderful? Such a party!
-What's the matter?
-Mr. Bernstein, these men who are now with the "Enquirer" - who were with the "Chronicle" until yesterday - weren't they just as devoted to the "Chronicle" kind of paper as they are now to - our kind of paper?
-Do we stand for the same things that the "Chronicle" stands for, Mr. Bernstein?
-Certainly not. So what's that got to do with it? Mr. Kane, he'll have them changed to his kind of newspapermen in a week.
-Do you, Mr. Leland?
-Mr. Leland, why didn't you go to Europe with him? He wanted you to. He said to me just yesterday -
-Mr. Bernstein, I wish you'd let me ask you a few questions, and answer me truthfully.
-Don't I always? Most of the time?
-Mr. Bernstein, am I a stuffed shirt? Am I a horse-faced hypocrite? Am I a New England school-marm?
-If you thought I'd answer different from what Mr. Kane tells you - well, I wouldn't.
-Well, he'll be coming back in September. The Majestic. I got the reservations. It gets in on the ninth.
-What's happened?
-If you hadn't come along and protected me when you did, I'd have killed them fellows.
-Go and get yourself washed up, Mr. Bernstein. There doesn't seem to be an serious injury.
-Not to me. But you will let that cop go home with Mr. Kane, won't you?
-Hello, Mr. Leland.
-Where is it - where's my notice? I've got to finish it!
-Mr. Kane is finishing it.
-I suppose he's fixing it up - I know I'd never get that through.
-Welcome, Mr. Kane, to the "Enquirer." I am Herbert Carter.
-Thank you, Mr Carter. This is Mr. Leland.
-How do you do, Mr. Leland?
-Are they standing for me?
-I thought it would be a nice gesture - the new publisher -
-Ask them to sit down.
-You may resume your work, gentlemen. I didn't know your plans and so I was unable to make any preparations.
-Mr. Carter, this is Mr. Bernstein. Mr. Bernstein is my general manager.
-How do you do, Mr. Bernstein?
-My little sanctum is at your disposal. But I don't think I understand -
-I'm going to live right here. As long as I have to.
-But a morning newspaper, Mr. Kane. After all, we're practically closed twelve hours a day - except for the business offices -
-I'm not criticizing, Mr. Carter, but here's what I mean. There's a front page story in the "Chronicle," and a picture - of a woman in Brooklyn who is missing. Probably murdered. A Mrs. Harry Silverstone. Why didn't the "Enquirer" have that this morning?
-I'm still hungry, Brad. Let's go to Rector's and get something decent. The "Chronicle" has a two-column headline, Mr. Carter. Why haven't we?
-There is no news big enough.
-If the headline is big enough, it makes the new big enough. The murder of Mrs. Harry Silverstone -
-As a matter of fact, we sent a man to the Silverstone home yesterday afternoon. Our man even arrived before the "Chronicle" reporter. And there's no proof that the woman was murdered - or even that she's dead.
-The "Chronicle" doesn't say she's murdered, Mr. Carter. It says the neighbors are getting suspicious.
-It's not our function to report the gossip of housewives. If we were interested in that kind of thing, Mr. Kane, we could fill the paper twice over daily -
-That's the kind of thing we are going to be interested in from now on, Mr. Carter. Right now, I wish you'd send your best man up to see Mr. Silverstone. Have him tell Mr. Silverstone if he doesn't produce his wife at once, the "Enquirer" will have him arrested. Have him tell Mr. Silverstone he's a detective from the Central Office. If Mr.
-But, Mr. Kane -
-I've been a newspaperman my whole life and I don't intend - - if it's your intention that I should continue to be harassed by this - this - I warn you, Mr. Kane, it would go against my grain to desert you when you need me so badly - but I would feel obliged to ask that my resignation be accepted.
-It is accepted, Mr. Carter, with assurances of my deepest regard.
-Mr. Kane, this is a surprise!
-Was the show covered by every department?
-Exactly according to your instructions, Mr. Kane. We've got two spreads of pictures.
-And the notice?
-Yes - Mr. Kane.
-Is it good?
-But there's another one still to come - the dramatic notice.
-It isn't finished?
-No, Mr. Kane.
-That's Leland, isn't it?
-Yes, Mr. Kane.
-Has he said when he'll finish?
-We haven't heard from him.
-The nurse has complete instructions, but if you care to talk to me at any time, I should be only too glad - I shall be here in the morning.
-Thank you. I can't imagine how Mrs. Kane came to make such a silly mistake. The sedative Dr. Wagner gave her is in a somewhat larger bottle - I suppose the strain of preparing for her trip has excited and confused her.
-I'm sure that's it.
-There are no objections to my staying here with her, are there?
-Not at all. I'd like the nurse to be here, too.
-How do you do? I came here - and I made Mr. Kane come with me... because I recieved this note -
-Maybe you can do it and maybe you can't, Mr. Kane.
-Let him finish, Charles.
-I'm protecting myself every way I know how, Mrs. Kane. This last week, I finally found out how I can stop your husband from being elected. If the people of this state learn what I found out this week, he wouldn't have a chance to - he couldn't be elected Dog Catcher. Well, what I'm interested in is seeing that he's not elected. I
-What story, Mr. Rogers?
-You don't have to show me anything, Mr. Rogers. I believe you.
-Hello, Brad -
-I'm sorry I sent for you, Brad - I didn't -
-Almost two to one -
-I'm surprised he got the votes he did.
-Emily!
-Why should anyone vote for him? He's made it quite clear to the people what he thinks of them. Children - to be told one thing one day, something else the next, as the whim seizes him. And they're supposed to be grateful and love and adore him - because he sees to it that they get cheap ice and only pay a nickel
-Emily, you're being - a little unfair - You know what I think of Charles' behavior - about your personal lives -
-There aren't any personal lives for people like us. He made that very clear to me nine years ago - If I'd thought of my life with Charles as a personal life, I'd have left him then -
-I know that, Emily -
-Maybe I should have - the first time he showed me what a mad dog he really was.
-Emily, you -
-Brad, I'm - I'm not an old woman yet -
-I know it is, Brad -
-He's paying for it, Emily. Those returns tonight - he's finished. Politically - - socially, everywhere, I guess. I don't know about the papers, but -
-What do you expect me to do? What in the world -
-They won't do anything to Junior, darling. Anonymous letter writers - I've got guards in front of the house, and I'm going to arrange -
-Have they heard from father yet? Has he seen -
-Here I am, darling... Darling!... Darling, it's all right... Mother's here.
-Emily - you musn't leave me now - you can't do that to me.
-I'm sending Junior home in the car, Charles - with Oliver -
-But I'd arranged to go home with you myself.
-There's a call I want you to make with me, Charles.
-It can wait.
-What's this all about, Emily? I've had a very tiring day and -
-I intend to find out.
-I insist on being told exactly what you have in mind.
-Oh!!
-You don't think I'm going to let this blackmailer intimidate me, do you?
-I don't see what else you can do, Charles. If he's right - and the papers publish this story he has -
-Oh, they'll publish it all right. But that's not going to stop me -
-Charles, this - this story - doesn't concern only you. I'll be in it, too, won't I? And Junior?
-I suppose so, but - I'm not afraid of the story. You can't tell me that the voters of this state -
-Oh yes, there is.
-I don't think so. Are you coming, Charles?
-There's only one person in the world to decide what I'm going to do - and that's me. And if you think - if any of you think -
-You decided what you were going to do, Charles - some time ago. You can't always have it your own way, regardless of anything else that may have happened. Come on, Charles.
-Charles, if you don't listen to reason, it may be too late -
-I can't tell you the things he said, Charlie. You haven't got any idea -
-You can't blackmail me, Rogers, you can't -
-Charlie, you're just excited. You don't realize -
-Get out, both of you!
-Charlie, please don't -
-Ow!
-What's the matter with you?
-Toothache.
-You've got some on your face.
-What's funny now?
-Oh!
-You're no Venus de Milo.
-If you want to come in and wash your face - I can get you some hot water to get that dirt off your trousers -
-Hey, you should be more careful. That's my ma and pa.
-I'm sorry. They live here, too?
-Where's the soap?
-You're very easily amused.
-Oh!
-I can't stay here all night chasing your pain away.
-Where's the towel?
-On the chiffonier. Here.
-Thanks.
-I've got a brush in the closet. As soon as the mud on your trousers is all dry - you just brush it off.
-A chicken?
-No. But you're close.
-A rooster?
-You're getting farther away all the time. It's a duck.
-Excuse me, Mr. Kane. I know this takes a lot of nerve, but - who are you? I mean - I'm pretty ignorant, I guess you caught on to that -
-You really don't know who I am?
-No. That is, I bet it turns out I've heard your name a million times, only you know how it is -
-But you like me, don't you? Even though you don't know who I am?
-You've been wonderful! I can't tell you how glad I am you're here, I don't know many people and -
-And I know too many people. Obviously, we're both lonely. Would you like to know where I was going tonight - when you ran into me and ruined my Sunday clothes?
-I didn't run into you and I bet they're not your Sunday clothes. You've probably got a lot of clothes.
-Who am I? Well, let's see. Charles Foster Kane was born in New Salem, Colorado in eighteen six - I run a couple of newspapers. How about you?
-Oh, me -
-How old did you say you were?
-I didn't say.
-I didn't think you did. If you had, I wouldn't have asked you again, because I'd have remembered. How old?
-Pretty old. I'll be twenty-two in August.
-That's a ripe old age - What do you do?
-I work at Seligman's.
-Is that what you want to do?
-I want to be a singer. I mean, I didn't. Mother did for me.
-What happened to the singing? You're not in a show, are you?
-Yes -
-As a matter of fact, I do sing a little.
-Would you sing for me?
-Oh, you wouldn't want to hear me sing.
-Yes, I would. That's why I asked.
-Well, I -
-Don't tell me your toothache is bothering you again?
-Oh, no, that's all gone.
-I couldn't make you see how I felt, Charlie. I just couldn't - I couldn't go threw with singing again. You don't know what it means to feel - to know that people - that an audience don't want you. That if you haven't got what they want - a real voice - they just don't care about you. Even when they're polite -
-Charlie! I said, what time is it?
-Half past eleven.
-I mean in New York.
-Half past eleven.
-At night?
-Yes. The bulldog's just gone to press.
-Hurray for the bulldog! Half past eleven! The shows have just let out. People are going to night clubs and restaurants. Of course, we're different. We live in a palace - at the end of the world.
-You always said you wanted to live in a palace.
-It makes a whole lot more sense than collecting Venuses.
-You may be right - I sometimes wonder - but you get into the habit -
-It's not a habit. I do it because I like it.
-I was referring to myself. I thought we might have a picnic tomorrow - it might be a nice change after the Wild West party tonight. Invite everybody to go to the Everglades -
-I mean it. Oh, I know I always say I mean it, and then I don't - or you get me so I don't do what I say I'm going to - but -
-You're in a tent, darling. You're not at home. And I can hear you very well if you just talk in a normal tone of voice.
-I'm not going to have my guests insulted, just because you think - - if people want to bring a drink or two along on a picnic, that's their business. You've got no right -
-I've got more than a right as far as you're concerned, Susan.
-Oh, I'm sick and tired of you telling me what I must and what I musn't do!
-You're my wife, Susan, and -
-I'm not just your wife, I'm a person all by myself - or I ought to be. I was once. Sometimes you get me to believing I never was.
-We can discuss all this some other time, Susan. Right now -
-I'll discuss what's on my mind when I want to. You're not going to keep on running my life the way you want it.
-As far as you're concerned, Susan, I've never wanted anything - I don't want anything now - except what you want.
-What you want me to want, you mean. What you've decided I ought to have - what you'd want if you were me. But you've never given me anything that -
-Susan, I really think -
-Oh, I don't mean the things you've given me - that don't mean anything to you. What's the difference between giving me a bracelet or giving somebody else a hundred thousand dollars for a statue you're going to keep crated up and never look at? It's only money. It doesn't mean anything. You're not really giving anything that belongs to you, that you care
-Susan, I want you to stop this. And right now!
-Well, I'm not going to stop it. I'm going to say exactly what I think. You've never given me anything. You've tried to buy me into giving you something. You're - - it's like you were bribing me! That's what it's been from the first moment I met you. No matter how much it cost you - your time, your money - that's what
-You're talking an incredible amount of nonsense, Susan. Whatever I do - I do - because I love you.
-You'll never have another chance to hit me again. I never knew till this minute -
-Susan, it seems to me -
-Don't tell me you're sorry.
-I'm not sorry.
-I'm going to leave you.
-No, you're not.
-Don't you realize that everybody here is going to know about this? That you've packed your bags and ordered the car and -
-I won't let you go.
-Goodbye, Charlie.
-Don't go, Susan.
-Let's not start all over again, Charlie. We've said everything that can be said.
-She doesn't know, Mrs. Kane. She just sent it - because I made her see it wouldn't be smart for her not to send it.
-In case you don't know, Emily, this - this gentleman - is -
-Anything you say, Mr. Kane. Only we're talking now about what you are. That's what the note is about, Mrs. Kane. Now I'm going to lay all my cards on the table. I'm fighting for my life. Not just my political life. My life. If your husband is elected governor -
-You do anything you want to do. The people of this state can decide which one of us to trust. If you want to know, they've already decided. The election Tuesday'll be only -
-You're making a bigger fool of yourself than I thought you would, Mr. Kane. You're licked. Why don't you -
-Get out! I've got nothing to talk to you about. If you want to see me, have the Warden write me a letter.
-You're the greatest fool I've ever known, Kane. If it was anybody else, I'd say what's going to happen to you would be a lesson to you. Only you're going to need more than one lesson. And you're going to get more than one lesson.
-It is the unanimous opinion of my Cabinent - in which I concur - that the proposed leases are in the best interests of the Governement and the people. You are not, I hope, suggesting that these interests are not indentical?
-I'm not suggesting anything, Mr. President! I've come here to tell you that, unless some action is taken promptly - and you are the only one who can take it - the oil that is the property of the people of this country will be turned over for a song to a gang of high-pressure crooks!
-I must refuse to allow you to continue in this vein, Mr. Kane.
-It's the only vein I know. I tell the facts the way I see them. And any man that knows that facts -
-I know the facts, Mr. Kane. And I happen to have the incredible insolence to differ with you as to what they mean. You're a man of great talents, Mr. Kane.
-Thanks.
-I understand that you have political ambitions. Unfortunately, you seem incapable of allowing any other opinion but your own -
-I'm much obliged, Mr. President, for your concern about me. However, I happen to be concerned at this moment with the matter of extensive oil lands belonging to the people of the United States, and I say that if this lease goes through, the property of the people of the United States goes into the hands of -
-Impossible! Impossible!
-Your job isn't to give Mrs. Kane your opinion of her talents. You're supposed to train her voice. Nothing more.
-But, it is impossible. I will be the laughingstock of the musical world! People will say -
-If you're interested in what people say, Signor Matisti, I may be able to enlighten you a bit. The newspapers, for instance. I'm an authority on what the papers will say, Signor Matisti, because I own eight of them between here and San Francisco... It's all right, dear. Signor Matisti is going to listen to reason. Aren't you, maestro?
-Mr. Kane, how can I persuade you -
-You goin', Mom?
-Your mother won't be going right away, Charles -
-Is that really your idea of how to run a newspaper?
-I don't know how to run a newspaper, Mr. Thatcher. I just try everything I can think of.
-"Enemy Armada Off Jersey Coast." You know you haven't the slightest proof that this - this armada - is off the Jersey Coast.
-You see! There hasn't been a true word -
-I came to see you, Charles, about your - about the Enquirer's campaign against the Metropolitan Transfer Company.
-Mr. Thatcher, isn't everything I've been saying in the Enquirer about the traction trust absolutely true?
-They're all part of your general attack - your senseless attack - on everything and everybody who's got more than ten cents in his pocket. They're -
-As Charles Foster Kane, who has eighty- two thousand, six hundred and thirty-one shares of Metropolitan Transfer - you see, I do have a rough idea of my holdings - I sympathize with you. Charles Foster Kane is a dangerous scoundrel, his paper should be run out of town and a committee should be formed to boycott him. You may, if you can form
-Charles, my time is too valuable for me -
-I happened to see your consolidated statement yesterday, Charles. Could I not suggest to you that it is unwise for you to continue this philanthropic enterprise - this Enquirer - that is costing you one million dollars a year?
-Get Dr. Corey.
-Mrs. Kane would like to see you, Mr. Kane.
-Is Mrs. Kane -
-Close the door, Raymond.
-Yes, sir.
-Raymond -
-Do you like poetry, Raymond?
-Can't say, sir.
-Yes, Mr. Kane.
-Oh, yes, sir.
-Do you know what that is?
-It's a wall you bought in China, Mr. Kane.
-Persia. It belonged to a king.
-How did you get him to part with it, Mr. Kane?
-He was dead... That's a poem. Do you know what it means?
-No, I don't, Mr. Kane.
-Poor Mr. Carter!
-Tired?
-It's been a tough day.
-I've changed the front page a little, Mr. Bernstein. That's not enough - There's something I've got to get into this paper besides pictures and print - I've got to make the "New York Enquirer" as important to New York as the gas in that light.
-That's the second sentence you've started with "I" -
-The "Chronicle" is a good newspaper.
-Well, gentlemen, are we going to war?
-Our readers are, anyway, I don't know about the rest of the country.
-It'll be our first foreign war in fifty years, Brad. We'll cover it the way the "Hickville Gazette" covers the church social! The names of everybody there; what they wore; what they ate; who won the prizes; who gave the prizes - I tell you, Brad, I envy you. By Bradford Leland, the "Enquirer's" Special Correspondent at the Front. I'm almost tempted -
-But there is no Front, Charlie. There's a very doubtful civil war. Besides, I don't want the job.
-Charles, I tell you there is no war! There's a condition that should be remedied - but between that and a -
-How would the "Enquirer" look with no news about this non-existent war - with Benton, Pulitzer and Heart devoting twenty columns a day to it?
-They do it only because you do!
-Say, Brad. I've got an idea.
-Yes?
-I mean I've got a job for you.
-Good.
-You don't want to be a war correspondent - how about being a dramatic critic?
-You start tomorrow night. Richard Carl in "The Spring Chicken." I'll get us some girls. You get tickets. A drama critic gets them free, you know. Rector's at seven?
-Charlie -
-Yes?
-It doesn't make any difference about me, but one of these days you're going to find out that all this charm of yours won't be enough -
-Take dictation - Front page editorial - "This afternoon a great man was assassinated. He was the President of the United States -"
-Charlie -
-Yes?
-Do you think you're the one who should call him a great man?
-Why not?
-What do you mean by that?
-Yesterday morning you called the President a traitor. What do you think that crowd is doing down there? They think you murdered him.
-Because the crackpot who did it had a copy of the "Enquirer" in his pocket?
-- and that copy of the "Enquirer" said the President should be killed.
-I said treason was a capital offense punishable by death -
-You've said a lot of things about the President in the last few months.
-They're true! Everything I said! Witholding that veto was treason!
-Charlie!
-Oil belonging to the people of the United States was leased out for a song to a gang of high-pressure crooks - Nobody can blame me because -
-There are the people of the United States, and they are blaming you - Oh, I know it doesn't make any sense, but at least you can learn a lesson from it.
-What lesson? Not to expose fraud when I see it? Not to fight for the right of the people to own their own property? Run it the way I said, Reilly - "This afternoon a great man was assassinated -"
-Charlie! Now you're not making sense.
-I don't have to. I run a newspaper with half a million readers and they're getting a martyred president this morning with their breakfast. I can't help that. Besides, they all know I'm married to his niece. I've got to think of her.
-What?
-I've got to think of Emily -
-I'd like to talk to you about that.
-First of all -
-What's wrong, Brad?
-I'm drunk.
-First of all, I will not write a good review of a play because somebody paid a thousand dollars for an advertisement in the "Enquirer."
-Charlie, it's just no go. We can't agree anymore. I wish you'd let me go to Chicago.
-Why, Brad?
-I'll tell you what I'll do, Brad - I'll get drunk, too - maybe that'll help.
-All right.
-She's going to leave you -
-I don't think so, Brad. We've just had word that the President is out of danger. It seems I didn't kill him after all.
-Emily's going south next week with the child. As far as anybody's to know, it's a holiday. When they get back -
-Brad, you are drunk.
-Sure I am. She wants full custody of the child no matter what happens. If you won't agree to that, she'll apply for a divorce regardless of the President's wishes. I can't tell her she's wrong, because she isn't wrong -
-Why is she leaving me?
-She hasn't any friends left sine you started this oil business, and she never sees you.
-Do you think the "Enquirer" shouldn't have campaigned against the oil leases?
-There's no reason why this - this savage personal note -
-The personal note is all there is to it. It's all there ever is to it. It's all there every is to anything! Stupidity in our government, complacency and self-satisfaction and unwillingness to believe that anything done by a certain class of people can be wrong - you can't fight those things impersonally. They're not impersonal crimes against people. They're being done by actual
-You talk about the people of the United States as though they belonged to you. When you find out they don't think they are, you'll lose interest. You talk about giving them their rights as though you could make a present of liberty. Remember the working man? You used to defend him quite a good deal. Well, he's turning into something called organized labor
-Are you finished?
-Yes. Now, will you let me go to Chicago?
-You're not going to like it in Chicago. They wind comes howling in from the lake. And there's practically no opera season at all - and the Lord only knows whether they've ever heard of Lobster Newburg -
-That's all right. What are you going to do about Emily?
-You want love on your own terms, don't you, Charlie - Love according to your own rules. And if anything goes wrong and you're hurt - then the game stops, and you've got to be soothed and nursed, no matter what else is happening - and no matter who else is hurt!
-She can leave me. As a matter of fact, I've already left her. Don't worry, Brad - I'll live.
-I know you will.
-You still want to be transferred to the other paper?
-Yes.
-Well, you've been getting a pretty low salary here in New York. It seems to me that the new dramatic critic of our Chicago paper should get what he's worth.
-Hello, Brad.
-Maybe we'd better wait for more word on the President's condition.
-We'll withdraw support completely. Anything else?
-Mr. Leland sent back that check.
-What check?
-You made it out to him last week after he left for Chicago.
-Oh, yes, the bonus.
-It does seem too good to be true, doesn't it, Mr. Bernstein?
-Rogers isn't even pretending. He isn't just scared anymore. He's sick. Frank Norris told me last night he hasn't known Rogers to be that worried in twenty-five years.
-I'll sign those papers -
-It's going to be done exactly the way I've told Mr. Thatcher -
-Well, let's hope it's all for the best.
-Mr. Thatcher is going to take you on a trip with him tonight, Charles. You'll be leaving on Number Ten.
-You're going to live with Mr. Thatcher from now on, Charlie! You're going to be rich. Your Ma figures - that is, er - she and I have decided that this isn't the place for you to grow up in. You'll probably be the richest man in America someday and you ought to -
-Sorry, Mr. Thatcher! What the kid needs is a good thrashing!
-That's what you think, is it, Jim?
-Mr. Leland, you were -
-You don't happen to have a cigar, do you? I've got a young physician - must remember to ask to see his license - the odds are a hundred to one he hasn't got one - who thinks I'm going to stop smoking... I changed the subject, didn't I? Dear, dear! What a disagreeable old man I've become. You want to know what I
-Sorry, Mr. Leland.
-Never mind - Bernstein told you about the first days at the office, didn't he? Well, Charlie was a bad newspaper man even then. He entertained his readers, but he never told them the truth.
-Maybe you could remember something that -
-What's this?
-It's a letter from her lawyers.
-David, Grobleski & Davis - My dear Rawlston -
-Rawlston is my boss.
-Oh, yes. I know about Mr. Rawlston.
-He knows the first Mrs. Kane socially - That's the answer we got.
-Brief marriage! Ten years!
-Was he in love?
-Well, that's about all there is - and I'm getting chills. Hey, nurse! Five years ago, he wrote from that place of his down South - - you know. Shangri-la? El Dorado? Sloppy Joe's? What's the name of that place? You know... All right. Xanadu. I knew what it was all the time. You caught on, didn't you?
-Yes.
-I guess maybe I'm not as hard to see through as I think. Anyway, I never even answered his letter. Maybe I should have. I guess he was pretty lonely down there those last years. He hadn't finished it when she left him - he never finished it - he never finished anything. Of course, he built it for her -
-That must have been love.
-I don't know. He was disappointed in the world. So he built one of his own - An absolute monarchy - It was something bigger than an opera house anyway - Nurse! Say, I'll tell you one thing you can do for me, young fellow.
-Sure.
-On your way out, stop at a cigar store, will you, and send me up a couple of cigars?
-Sure, Mr. Leland. I'll be glad to.
-I want you to stop all this nonsense, Jim.
-I want you to stop all this nonsense, Jim.
-Where do I sign, Mr. Thatcher?
-Charles, my name is Mr. Thatcher -
-This is Mr. Thatcher, Charles.
-Yeah, all in crates.
-There's a part of a Scotch castle over there, but we haven't bothered to unwrap it.
-Anything and everything - he was a regular crow.
-Or Rosebud? How about it, Jerry?
-Turn that thing off, will you? It's driving me nuts! What's Rosebud?
-Yes, and maybe he didn't.
-Ask the question anyway, Thompson! Build the picture around the question, even if you can't answer it.
-I know, but -
-Thompson!
-Yes, sir.
-Hold this thing up for a week. Two weeks if you have to...
-But don't you think if we release it now - he's only been dead four days - it might be better than if -
-I'll get to it right away, Mr. Rawlston.
-Yes, sir - yes, sir, I knew how to handle the old man. He was kind of queer, but I knew how to handle him.
-Queer?
-That's the whole works, right up to date.
-Sentimental fellow, aren't you?
-Yes and no.
-Well, thanks a lot.
-You can go on asking questions if you want to.
-What do you think all that is worth, Mr. Thompson?
-Millions - if anybody wants it.
-The banks are out of luck, eh?
-Who told you you could sit down here?
-Oh! I thought maybe we could have a drink together?
-Why don't you people let me alone? I'm minding my own business. You mind yours.
-If you'd just let me talk to you for a little while, Miss Alexander. All I want to ask you...
-How do you want to handle the whole thing - ask questions?
-I'd rather you just talked. Anything that comes into your mind - about yourself and Mr. Kane.
-How did you meet him?
-I did a lot of singing after that. I sang for Charlie - I sang for teachers at a hundred bucks an hour - the teachers got that, I didn't -
-What did you get?
-I didn't get a thing. Just the music lessons. That's all there was to it.
-He married you, didn't he?
-He was in love with me. But he never told me so until after it all came out in the papers about us - and he lost the election and that Norton woman divorced him.
-What about that apartment?
-In case you've never heard of how I lost all my money - and it was plenty, believe me -
-The last ten years have been tough on a lot of people.
-They haven't been tough on me. I just lost my money. But when I compare these last ten years with the twenty I spent with him -
-I feel kind of sorry for him, all the same -
-Don't you think I do? You say you're going down to Xanadu?
-Monday, with some of the boys from the office. Mr. Rawlston wants the whole place photographed carefully - all that art stuff. We run a picture magazine, you know -
-Right away. Will you have something, Mr. Thompson?
-She's just not talking to anybody from the newspapers, Mr. Thompson.
-She's plastered, isn't she?
-She'll snap out of it. Why, until he died, she'd just as soon talk about Mr. Kane as about anybody. Sooner.
-I'll come down in a week or so and see her again. Say, you might be able to help me. When she used to talk about Kane - did she ever happen to say anything - about Rosebud?
-Are you sure?
-Am I sure?
-Are you sure?
-Am I sure about what?
-Do you really want to buy those cigarettes?
-Are you serious?
-How long have you been smoking?
-I'd say you're about nineteen, twenty, am I right?
-What the hell is that?
-That's your lung. By this time, your lung looks like this.
-You're shittin' me.
-What's this?
-It's a trach ring. It's what they install in your throat when throat cancer takes your voice box. This one came out of a sixty-year-old man.
-Unnhh!
-Well, if it's already too late...
-It's never too late. Give those cigarettes back now, and buy some gum instead. Here. Chewlies Gum. Try this.
-It's not the same.
-Jesus!
-It's a picture of a cancer-ridden lung. Keep it.
-Pack of cigarettes. What's that?
-Thanks. Have a good one.
-Do you mind if I drink this here?
-Beats me.
-Excuse me, but...
-Fifty-five.
-Maybe you should take that coffee outside.
-No, I think I'll drink it in here, thanks.
-If you're going to drink it in here, I'd appreciate it if you'd not bother the customers.
-Hey, now wait a sec...
-Now he's going to launch into his rap about how he's just doing his job; following orders. Friends, let me tell you about another bunch of hate mongers that were just following orders: they were called Nazis, and they practically wiped a nation of people from the Earth... just like cigarettes are doing now! Cigarette smoking is the new Holocaust, and those that partake
-I think you'd better leave now.
-You want me to leave? Why? Because somebody is telling it like it is? Somebody's giving these fine people a wake-up call?!
-You're loitering in here, and causing a disturbance.
-That's it, everybody out.
-We're not moving! We have a right, a constitutional right, to assemble and be heard!
-Yeah, but not in here.
-What better place than this? To stamp it out, you gotta start at the source!
-Like I'm responsible for all the smokers!
-Randal Graves-scourge of the video renter.
-Ladies and gentleman, Mrs. Asian Design Major herself: Caitlin Bree!
-You saw that article? God, isn't it awful? My mother sent that in.
-I take it she likes the guy.
-You'd think she was marrying him. What are you watching?
-Children's programming. What did your mom say when you told her you weren't engaged anymore?
-She said not to come home until graduation.
-Wow, you got thrown out? For Dante?
-What can I say? He does weird things to me.
-Can I watch?
-You can hold me down.
-Can I join in?
-You might be let down. I'm not a hermaphrodite.
-Few are. So what makes you think you can maintain a relationship with Dante this time around?
-A woman's intuition. Something in me says it's time to give the old boy a serious try.
-Wow. Hey, I was just about to order some dinner. You eat Chinese, right?
-Dick.
-Exactly.
-So where is he?
-He went home to change for the big date.
-God, isn't he great?
-No, this is great.
-Can I use the bathroom?
-There's no light back there.
-Why aren't there any lights?
-Well, there are, but for some reason they stop working at five-fourteen every night.
-You're kidding.
-Nobody can figure it out. And the boss doesn't want to pay the electrician to fix it, because the electrician owes money to the video store.
-Such a sordid state of affair.
-And I'm caught in the middle-torn between my loyalty for the boss, and my desire to piss with the light on.
-Hey Caitlin... Break his heart again this time, and I'll kill you. Nothing personal.
-You're very protective of him, Randal. You always have been.
-Territoriality. He was mine first.
-Am I missing something here?
-I went back there, and Dante was already waiting for me.
-He was?
-It was so cool. He didn't say a word. He was just... ready, you know? And we didn't kiss or talk or anything. He just sat there and let me do all the work.
-I was here the whole time.
-Nobody! I swear!
-Why?
-When did you get back?
-Just now.
-My God. I haven't seen you since...
-I just saw Alyssa's little sister outside. She was with Rick Derris.
-Let's not talk about that. How'd you get home?
-Train. It took eight hours.
-You're just going to lock the store like that?
-I want to talk to you about something, and I don't want to be disturbed.
-You saw it?
-Very dramatic, I thought.
-It's not what you think.
-What, it's worse? You're pregnant with an Asian design major's child?
-I'm not pregnant.
-Were you going to tell me or just send me an invitation?
-I was going to tell you. But then we were getting along so well, I didn't want to mess it up.
-You could've broke it to me gently, you know; at least started by telling me you had a boyfriend. I told you I have a girlfriend.
-I know, I'm sorry. But when we started talking... it's like I forgot I had a boyfriend. And then he proposed last month...
-And you said yes?
-Well... kind of, sort of?
-Is that what they teach you at that school of yours? Kind of, sort of? Everyone knows about this except me! Do you know how humiliating that is?
-I would've told you, and you would have stopped calling, like a baby.
-How do you know that?
-Because I know you. You prefer drastic measures to rational ones.
-So you're really getting married?
-No.
-No, you're not really getting married?
-The story goes like this: He proposed, and I told him I had to think about it, and he insisted I wear the ring anyway. Then my mother told the paper we were engaged.
-How like her.
-Then my mother called me this morning and told me the announcement was in the paper. That's when I hopped the train to come back here, because I knew you'd be a wreck.
-Thanks for the vote of confidence.
-Was I right?
-Wreck is a harsh term. Disturbed is more like it. Mildly disturbed even.
-I love a macho façade. It's such a turn-on. What smells like shoe polish?
-And you came here to what? To comfort me?
-The last thing I needed was for you to think I was hiding something from you.
-But you were.
-No, I wasn't. Not really. I told you'd I'd been seeing other people.
-Yeah, but not seriously. Christ, you're ready to walk down the aisle- I'd say that constitutes something more than just seeing somebody.
-I'm giving him his ring back.
-What?
-I don't want to marry him. I don't want to get married now. I'm on the verge of graduation. I want to go to grad school after this. And then I want to start a career. I don't want to be a wife first, and then have to worry about when I'm going to fit in all of the other stuff. I've come way
-Sang? His name is a past tense?
-Stop it. He's a nice guy.
-If he's so nice, why aren't you going to marry him?
-I just told you.
-There's more, isn't there?
-Why, Mr. Hicks-whatever do you mean?
-Tell me I don't have something to do with it.
-You don't have anything to do with it.
-You lie.
-Look how full of yourself you are.
-I just believe in giving credit where credit is due. And I believe that I'm the impetus behind your failure to wed.
-If I'm so nuts about you, then why am I having sex with an Asian design major?
-Jesus, you're caustic.
-I had to bring you down from that cloud you were floating on. When I say I don't want to get married, I mean just that. I don't want to marry anybody. Not for years.
-So who's asking? I don't want to marry you.
-Good. Stay in that frame of mind.
-But can we date?
-I'm sure Sang and-Veronica?-would like that.
-We could introduce them. They might hit it off.
-You're serious. You want to date again.
-I would like to be your boyfriend, yes.
-It's just the shock of seeing me after three years. Believe me, you'll get over it.
-Give me a bit more credit. I think it's time we got back together, you know. I'm more mature, you're more mature, you're finishing college, I'm already in the job market...
-You work in a market, all right.
-Cute. Tell me you wouldn't want to go out again. After all the talking we've been doing.
-The key word here is talk, Dante. I think the idea, the conception of us dating is more idyllic than what actually happens when we date.
-So... what? So we should just make pretend over the phone that we're dating?
-I don't know. Maybe we should just see what happens.
-Let me take you out tonight.
-You mean, on a date?
-Yes. A real date. Dinner and a movie.
-The Dante Hicks Dinner and a Movie Date. I think I've been on that one before.
-You have a better suggestion?
-How about the Caitlin Bree Walk on the Boardwalk, Then Get Naked Somewhere Kind of Private Date?
-I hear that's a rather popular date.
-Jerk. Here I am, throwing myself at you, succumbing to your wily charms, and you call me a slut, in so many words.
-What about Sing?
-Sang.
-Sang.
-He's not invited.
-He's your fiancé.
-I offer you my body and you offer me semantics? He's just a boyfriend, Dante, and in case you haven't gotten the drift of why I came all the way here from Ohio, I'm about to become single again. And yes-let me placate your ego-you are the inspiration for this bold and momentous decision, for which I'll probably be ostracized at both school and
-So what are you saying?
-You're such an asshole.
-I'm just kidding.
-I can already tell this isn't going to work.
-I'll ask Randal to close up for me when he gets back.
-Where'd he go? I'd have thought he'd be at your side, like an obedient lapdog.
-He went to rent a movie, but he hasn't gotten back yet. Ah, screw it; I'll just lock the store up and leave him a note.
-You're too responsible. But no. I have to go home first. They don't even know I left school. And I should break the disengagement news to my mother, which is going to cause quite a row, considering she loves Sang.
-Who doesn't?
-Well, me I guess. So, I shall take my leave of you, but I will return in a little while, at which time-yes-I would love to go for dinner and a movie with you.
-What happened to the walk and the nakedness?
-How'd you get here so fast?
-I left like an hour ago.
-Promise me it'll always be like that.
-Like what?
-When you just lie perfectly still and let me do everything.
-And the fact that there weren't any lights made it so... God! That was so great!
-It wasn't me.
-Yeah, right. Who was it: Randal?
-I'm serious.
-We didn't just have sex in the bathroom?
-Stop this. This isn't funny.
-I'm not kidding. I just got back from outside.
-This isn't fucking funny, Dante!
-Are you sure somebody was back there?
-I can't believe this! I feel faint...
-There's a strange man in our bathroom, and he just raped Caitlin!
-I don't know. He just came in and asked to use the bathroom.
-What time was this?
-Wait a second? Who was working here today?
-Just me.
-I thought you just said you played hockey and went to a funeral.
-We did.
-Then who operated the store?
-Nobody. It was closed.
-With this guy locked in?
-Was he alive when... Caitlin...
-Well he asked me for it!
-What about Caitlin?
-Shock trauma. She's going to need years of therapy after this. My question is, How did she come to have sex with the dead man?
-Are you open?
-Yeah.
-This is the last time I come to this place.
-Excuse me?
-Using filthy language in front of the customers... you should both get fired.
-We're sorry, ma'am. We got a little carried away.
-If you can just wait a few more minutes.
-What the fuck is this?! I want some service!
-In a second!
-Fuck in a second! This is... Look at you! You can't even pass!
-I can pass!
-Who are you to make assessments?
-Like you're better!
-That's easy to say from over here.
-Are you open?
-My point is that you're a clerk, paid to do a job. You can't just do anything you want while you're working.
-"Space Alien Revealed as Head of Time Warner; Reports Stock Increase." They print any kind of shit in these papers.
-I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING HEAD! YOU FUCKING JERKOFF!
-Sir! Sir, I'm sorry! He didn't mean it! He was trying to get me.
-Well, he missed!
-I know. I'm sorry. Let me refund your cigarette money, and we'll call it even.
-Excuse me, do you have...
-Pack of cigarettes. Congratulations. I saw that announcement in today's paper. She's marrying an Asian design major.
-All right, now if you're really feeling dangerous tonight, then Smokey and the Bandit Three is the movie you must rent.
-This doesn't even have Burt Reynolds in it.
-Awww, he's so cute. What's his name?
-I work in a shitty video store. I want to go to a good video store so I can rent a good movie.
-Pack of cigarettes. Cute cat. What's its name?
-Pack of cigarettes.
-I saw one, one time, that said the world was ending the next week. Then in the next week's paper, they said we were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a Koala-fish mutant bird. Crazy shit.
-Cute cat. What's his name.
-You open?
-What am I worried about? He'll probably be glad I started the ball rolling. All he ever did was complain about her anyway. I'm just looking out for his best interests. I mean, that's what a friend does, am I right? I did him a favor.
-Dante, let me grab a Gatorade.
-If you grab a Gatorade, then everybody's going to grab one.
-So?
-So? So nobody's going to want to pay for these Gatorades.
-What do you care? Hey, what smells like shoe polish?
-I've got a responsibility here. I can't let everybody grab free drinks.
-All right. Jesus, you fuckers are pushy.
-You only brought one ball?!
-Shit!
-You're late.
-What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were playing hockey at one.
-The boss called. Arthur fell ill.
-Why are the shutters closed?
-Someone jammed gum in the locks.
-Bunch of savages in this town.
-That's what I said.
-What time do you have to stay till?
-He assured me that he'd be here by twelve.
-What smells like shoe polish?
-Some guy just came in refusing to pay late fees. He said the store was closed for two hours yesterday. I tore up his membership.
-Shocking abuse of authority.
-I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule. Is the Pelican flying?
-Don't screw with it. It makes us look suspicious.
-Want something to drink? I'm buying.
-No, thanks.
-Who was on your phone this morning at about two-thirty? I was trying to call for a half an hour.
-Why?
-You don't want to know.
-You called Caitlin again?
-She called me.
-Did you tell Veronica?
-One fight a day with Veronica is about all I can stomach, thanks.
-What do you two fight about?
-I guess it's not really fighting. She just wants me to leave here, go back to school, get some direction.
-I'll bet the most frequent topic of arguments is Caitlin Bree.
-You win.
-I'm going to offer you some advice, my friend: let the past be the past. Forget Caitlin Bree. You've been with Veronica for how long now?
-Seven months.
-Chick's nuts about you. How long did you date Caitlin?
-Five years.
-Chick only made you nuts. She cheated on you how many times?
-Eight and a half.
-Eight and a half?
-Party at John K's-senior year. I get blitzed and pass out in his bedroom. Caitlin comes in and dives all over me.
-That's cheating?
-In the middle of it, she calls me Brad.
-She called you Brad?
-She called me Brad.
-That's not cheating. People say crazy shit during sex. One time, I called this girl "Mom."
-I hit the lights and she freaks. Turns out she thought I was Brad Michaelson.
-What do you mean?
-She was supposed to meet Brad Michaelson in a bedroom. She picked the wrong one. She had no idea I was even at the party.
-Oh, my God.
-Great story, isn't it?
-That girl was vile to you.
-Interesting postscript to that story: Do you know who wound up going with Brad Michaelson in the other dark bedroom?
-Your mother.
-Allan Harris.
-Chess team Allan Harris?!
-The two moved to Idaho together after graduation. They raise sheep.
-That's frightening.
-It takes different strokes to move the world.
-In light of this lurid tale, I don't see how you could even romanticize your relationship with Caitlin-she broke your heart and inadvertently drove men to deviant lifestyles.
-Because there was a lot of good in our relationship.
-Oh yeah.
-I'm serious. Aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. That's what high school's all about-algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.
-You think things would be any different now?
-They are. When she calls me now, she's a different person-she's frightened and vulnerable. She's about to finish college and enter the real world. That's got to be scary for anyone.
-Oh shit, I've got to place an order.
-I'm talking to myself here.
-No, no, I'm listening. She's leaving college, and...?
-...and she's looking to me for support. And I think that this is leading our relationship to a new level.
-What about Veronica?
-I think the arguments Veronica and I are having are some kind of manifestation of a subconscious desire to break away from her so that I can pursue the possibility of a more meaningful relationship with Caitlin.
-Caitlin's on the same wave-length?
-I think it's safe to say yes.
-Then I think all four of you had better sit down and talk it over.
-All four?
-Do you know that article is accurate? Caitlin's really getting married!
-You know what I just watched?
-Me pulling a can off some moron's fist.
-Return of the Jedi.
-Didn't you hear me? Caitlin really is getting married.
-Which did you like better: Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back.
-Empire.
-Blasphemy.
-Empire had the better ending: Luke gets his hand cut off, and finds out Vader's his father; Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. And that's life-a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.
-What's that?
-All right, Vader's boss...
-The Emperor.
-Right, the Emperor. Now the Emperor is kind of a spiritual figure, yes?
-How do you mean?
-Well, he's like the pope for the dark side of the Force. He's a holy man; a shaman, kind of, albeit an evil one.
-I guess.
-Now, he's in charge of the Empire. The Imperial government is under his control. And the entire galaxy is under Imperial rule.
-Yeah.
-Then wouldn't that logically mean that it's a theocracy? If the head of the Empire is a priest of some sort, then it stands to reason that the government is therefore one based on religion.
-It would stand to reason, yes.
-Hence, the Empire was a fascist theocracy, and the rebel forces were therefore battling religious persecution.
-More or less.
-The only problem is that at no point in the series did I ever hear Leia or any of the rebels declare a particular religious belief.
-You know what else I noticed in Jedi?
-There's more?
-So they build another Death Star, right?
-Yeah.
-Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.
-Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.
-And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.
-Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
-Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.
-And you figured it out?
-Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army- storm troopers, dignitaries-the only people onboard were Imperials.
-Basically.
-So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.
-And the second time around...?
-The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.
-So?
-A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
-Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
-Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
-All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
-You'll never believe what this unruly customer just said...
-Wait.
-She's in here?
-What's he looking for?
-He said he has to find a perfect dozen.
-Perfect dozen.
-Each egg has to be perfect.
-The quest isn't going well?
-Why doesn't he just mix and match?
-What did he say?
-He said it was important to have standards. He said nobody has pride anymore.
-It's not like you laid the eggs yourself.
-Did you ever notice all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.
-You know how much money the average jizz-mopper make per hour?
-What's a jizz-mopper?
-He's the guy in those nudie-booth joints who cleans up after each guy that jerks off.
-Nudie booth?
-Nudie booth. You've never been in a nudie booth?
-Oh, it's great. You step into this little booth and there's this window between you and this naked woman, and she puts on this little show for like ten bucks.
-What kind of show?
-Think of the weirdest, craziest shit you'd like to see chicks do. These chicks do it all. They insert things into any opening in their body... any opening. He's led a very sheltered life.
-Can we talk about this later?
-Why do you do things like that? You know she's going to come back and tell the boss.
-Who cares? That lady's an asshole. Everybody that comes in here is way too uptight. This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.
-I'm gonna hear it tomorrow.
-You gotta loosen up, my friend. You'd feel a hell of a lot better if you'd rip into the occasional customer.
-What for? They don't bother me if I don't bother them.
-Liar! Tell me there aren't customers that annoy the piss out of you on a daily basis.
-There aren't.
-How can you lie like that? Why don't you vent? Vent your frustration. Come on, who pisses you off?
-It's not really anyone per se, it's more of separate groupings.
-Let's hear it.
-The milkmaids.
-The women that go through every gallon of milk looking for a later date. As if somewhere-beyond all the other gallons-is a container of milk that won't go bad for like a decade.
-You know who I can do without? I could do without the people in the video store.
-Which ones?
-No.
-Why not?
-Because my ex-girlfriend is getting married.
-Jesus, you got a one-track mind. It's always Caitlin, Caitlin, Caitlin...
-Thirty-seven!
-Can you come next door? I gotta make a phone call.
-Smokey Three: thumbs up, am I right?
-Vermont?
-Can you believe this?!
-He didn't mention it when he called you this morning?
-Not a fucking word! Slippery shit!
-So, what-you're stuck here all day?
-FUCK!
-Why'd you apologize?
-What?
-I heard you apologize. Why? You have every right in the world to be mad.
-I know.
-That seems to be the leitmotif in your life; ever backing down.
-I don't back down.
-Yes, you do. You always back down. You assume blame that isn't yours, you come in when called as opposed to enjoying your day off, you buckle like a belt.
-You know what pisses me off the most?
-The fact that I'm right about your buckling?
-I'm going to miss the game.
-Because you buckled.
-Would you shut the hell up with that shit? It's not helping.
-Don't yell at me, pal.
-Sorry.
-See? There you go again.
-I can't believe I'm going to miss the game!
-At least we're stuck here together.
-Pull my laces tighter.
-I've gotta tell you, my friend: this is one of the ballsiest moves I've ever been privy to. I never would have thought you capable of such blatant disregard of store policy.
-I told him I had a game today. It's his own fault.
-No argument here. Insubordination rules.
-He's blunt, but he's got a point.
-Design major.
-Are you gonna lock the store?
-I don't know. You going to lock the video store?
-Look who you're asking here. How're we gonna block off the street?
-We're not playing in the street.
-Helluva game!
-One ball!! They come all the way here... I close the damn store... for one ball!
-Hockey's hockey. At least we got to play.
-Randal, twelve minutes is not a game! Jesus, it's barely a warm-up!
-Bitch, bitch, bitch. You want something to drink?
-What happened to all the Gatorade?
-Exactly. They drank it all.
-After an exhausting game like that I can believe it.
-You know what Sanford told me?
-I still can't believe Caitlin's getting married.
-Julie Dwyer died.
-Yeah, right.
-Oh, my god.
-Sanford's brother dates her cousin. He found out this morning.
-How? When?
-Embolism in her brain. Yesterday.
-Jesus.
-She was swimming at the YMCA pool when it happened. Died mid-backstroke.
-I haven't seen her in almost two years.
-Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't she one of the illustrious twelve?
-Number six.
-You've had sex with a dead person.
-I'm gonna go to her wake.
-No, you're not.
-Why not?
-It's today.
-What!?
-Paulsen's Funeral Parlor. The next show is at four.
-Shit. What about tomorrow?
-One night only. She's buried in the morning.
-You've gotta watch the store. I have to go to this.
-Wait, wait, wait. Has it occurred to you that I might bereaved as well?
-You hardly knew her!
-True, but do you know how many people are going to be there? All of our old classmates, to say the least.
-Stop it. This is beneath even you.
-I'm not missing what's probably going to be the social event of the season.
-You hate people.
-But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?
-Don't be an asshole. Somebody has to stay with the store.
-If you go, I go.
-She meant nothing to you!
-She meant nothing to you either until I told you she died.
-I'm not taking you to this funeral.
-I'm going with you.
-I can't close the store.
-You just closed the store to play hockey on the roof!
-You were saying?
-She was pretty young, hunhh?
-Twenty-two; same as us.
-An embolism in a pool.
-An embarrassing way to die.
-That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died.
-How'd he die?
-Broke his neck.
-That's embarrassing?
-Shut the hell up.
-Bible truth.
-Stop it.
-I swear.
-Oh, my god.
-Come on. Haven't you ever tried to suck your own dick?
-No!
-Yeah sure. You're so repressed.
-Because I never tried to suck my own dick?
-No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a fucking pervert because he tries to go down on himself. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it.
-Who found him?
-My cousin? My aunt found him. On his bed, doubled over himself with his legs on top. Dick in his mouth. My aunt freaked out. It was a mess.
-His dick was in his mouth?
-Balls resting on his lips.
-He made it, hunhh?
-I could never reach.
-Reach what?
-You know.
-What, your dick?
-Yeah. Like you said, you know. I guess everyone tries it, sooner of later.
-I know it was a bad idea to close the store.
-Listen to you.
-I can't help it. At least when we were playing hockey outside, I could see if anyone wanted to go in.
-I can't fucking believe you!!
-I'm telling you, it wasn't my fault!
-You knocked the fucking casket over, for Chrissakes!
-I was just leaning on it! It was an accident!
-Does anyone ever knock over a casket on purpose?
-So the casket fell over! Big deal!
-Her fucking body fell out!
-So they'll put her back in! It's not like it's gonna matter if she breaks something!
-Let me borrow your car.
-I don't want to talk to you.
-Fine. Just lend me your car.
-Why should I loan you my car?
-I want to rent a movie.
-What's that for?
-Can you imagine being halfway decent to the customers at least some of the time?
-Let me borrow your car.
-May I be blunt with you?
-If you must.
-We are employees of Quick Stop Convenience and RST video, respectively. As such, we have certain responsibilities which-though it may seem cruel and unusual-does include manning our posts until closing.
-I see. So playing hockey and attending wakes-these practices are standard operating procedure.
-You know what? I don't think I care for your rationale.
-So your argument is that title dictates behavior?
-What?
-The reasons you won't let me borrow your car is because I have a title and a job description, and I'm supposed to follow it, right?
-That's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything.
-What the fuck did you do that for?
-Two reasons: one, I hate when the people can't shut up about the stupid tabloid headlines.
-Jesus!
-And two, to make a point: title does not dictate behavior.
-What?
-If title dictated my behavior, as a clerk serving the public, I wouldn't be allowed to spit a mouthful of water at that guy. But I did, so my point is that people dictate their own behavior. Hence, even though I'm a clerk in this video store, I choose to go rent videos at Big Choice. Agreed?
-You're a danger to both the dead and the living.
-I like to think I'm a master of my own destiny.
-Please, get the hell out of here.
-Get to work.
-What'd you rent? Best of Both Worlds?
-Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box: Beautiful women with dicks that put mine to shame.
-And this is what you rented?
-I like to expand my horizons.
-I got fined for selling cigarettes to a minor.
-No way!
-Five hundred dollars.
-I didn't think they even enforced this.
-Living proof.
-I thought you never sold cigarettes to kids.
-I don't; you did.
-Really?
-Little girl. Maybe five years old?
-Holy shit. That girl?
-As opposed to the hundreds of other children you let buy cigarettes whenever you work here.
-Then how come you got the fine?
-Because I'm here.
-You're lying.
-I swear. I couldn't make this kind of hell up.
-Then why aren't you like screaming at me right now?
-Because I'm happy.
-You're happy?
-I'm happy.
-You're happy to get a fine?
-No. I'm happy because Caitlin came to see me.
-Now I know you're lying.
-I'm not. She just left.
-What did she say?
-She's not going to marry that guy. She went home to tell her mother.
-You're kidding.
-I'm not.
-Wow. You've had quite an evening.
-She went home, she's getting ready, and we're going out.
-I feel so ineffectual. Is there anything I can do for you?
-Watch the store while I go home and change.
-What happened to title dictates behavior?
-This is my way of spitting water at life.
-Hey, what about Veronica?
-No! Don't bring it up. I don't want to think about that now. Let me enjoy this hour of bliss. I'll think about all of that later. In the meantime, nobody mentions the V word.
-You're a snake.
-In my absence, try not to sell cigarettes to any newborns.
-You want me to bring the VCR over here so we can watch this?
-I might be leaving early to go out with Caitlin, in which case you'll have to close the store tonight.
-All right, but you're missing out. Chicks with dicks.
-Who eats cock?
-Bunch of savages in this town. Hey, Caitlin's in the back. You might want to see if she's okay; she's been back there a long time.
-There's no lights back there.
-I told her that. She said she didn't need any. Why don't you join her, man. Make a little bathroom bam-bam.
-I love your sexy talk. It's so... kindergarten: Poo-poo; wee-wee.
-Maybe the Asian design major slipped her some opium?
-You just fucked a total stranger?
-She said she did all the work.
-Around three or something.
-What time did we go to the funeral?
-What? What's with you? You haven't said anything for like twenty minutes. What the hell is your problem?
-This life.
-This life?
-Why do I have this life?
-Have some chips; you'll feel better.
-I'm stuck in this pit, earning less than slave wages, working on my day off, dealing with every backward fuck on the planet, the goddamn steel shutters are locked all day, I smell like shoe polish, I've got an ex- girlfriend who's catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has sucked thirty-six dicks.
-Thirty-seven.
-That's all bullshit. You know what the real problem here is?
-You should shit or get off the pot.
-I should shit or get off the pot.
-Yeah, you should shit or get off the pot.
-What are you talking about?
-I'm talking about this thing you have... this inability to improve your situation in life.
-Fuck you.
-It's true. You'll sit there and blame life for dealing a cruddy hand, never once accepting the responsibility for the way your situation is.
-What responsibility?
-All right, if you hate this job and the people, and the fact that you have to come in on your day off, then quit.
-As if it's that easy.
-It is. You just up and quit. There are other jobs, and they pay better money. You're bound to be qualified for at least one of them. So what's stopping you?
-Leave me alone.
-You're comfortable. This is a life of convenience for you, and any attempt to change it would shatter the pathetic microcosm you've fashioned for yourself.
-Oh, like your life's any better?
-I'm satisfied with my situation for now. You don't hear me bitching. You, on the other hand, have been bitching all day.
-Thank you. Why don't you go back to the video store?
-It's the same thing with Veronica.
-Leave her out of this.
-You date Veronica because she's low maintenance and because it's convenient. Meanwhile, all you ever do is talk about Caitlin. You carry a torch for a girl you dated in high school-in high school for God's sake! You're twenty-two!
-Leave me alone.
-If you want Caitlin, then face Veronica, tell her, and be with Caitlin. If you want Veronica, be with Veronica. But don't pine for one and fuck the other. Man, if you weren't such a fucking coward...
-...If I wasn't such a fucking coward. It must be so great to be able to simplify everything the way you do.
-Am I right or what?
-You're wrong. Things happened today, okay? Things that probably ruined my chances with Caitlin.
-What? The dead guy? She'll get over fucking the dead guy. Shit, my mom's been fucking a dead guy for thirty years; I call him Dad.
-Caitlin and I can't be together. It's impossible.
-Melodrama coming from you seems about as natural as an oral bowel movement.
-What do you want me to say? Yes, I suppose some of the things you're saying may be true. But that's the way things are; it's not going to change.
-Make them change.
-I can't, all right! Jesus, would you leave me alone? I can't make changes like that in my life. If I could, I would-but I don't have the ability to risk comfortable situations on the big money and the fabulous prizes.
-Who're you kidding? You can so.
-Jesus H. Christ, I can't!
-So you'll continue being miserable all the time, just because you don't have the guts to face change?
-My mother told me once that when I as three, my potty lid was closed, and instead of lifting it, I chose to shit my pants.
-Lovely story.
-How's your eye?
-The swelling's not so bad. But the FDS stings. How's your neck?
-You didn't have to choke me.
-Why the fuck did you tell Veronica that I was going to dump her for Caitlin?
-I thought I was doing you a favor.
-Thanks.
-You were saying how you couldn't initiate change yourself, so I figured I'd help you out.
-You still didn't have to choke me.
-Oh please! I'm surprised I didn't kill you.
-Why do you say that?
-Why do I say that? Randal... forget it.
-No, really. What did I do that was so wrong?
-What don't you do? Randal, sometimes it seems like the only reason you come to work is to make my life miserable.
-How do you figure?
-What time did you get to work today?
-Like ten after.
-You were over half an hour late. Then all you do is come over here.
-To talk to you.
-Which means the video store is ostensibly closed.
-It's not like I'm miles away.
-Unless you're out renting videos at other video stores.
-Hermaphrodites! I rented it so we could watch it together!
-You get my slapped with a fine, you fight with the customers and I have to patch everything up. You get us chased out of a funeral by violating a corpse. To top it all off, you ruin my relationship. What's your encore? Do you anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank? You know what the real tragedy is? I'm
-I threw out the stuff that got broken. The floor looks clean.
-You need a ride?
-Do you work tomorrow?
-Same time. What about you?
-I'm calling out. Going to hit the hospital-see how Caitlin is. Then try to see Veronica.
-You wanna grab something to eat tomorrow night... after I get out of here?
-I'll call you. Let you know.
-All right. Good luck with Veronica. If you want, I can talk to her, you know, and explain...
-No thanks. I'll take care of it. We've got a lot of shit to talk about.
-Helluva day.
-To say the least.
-Do you need a hug or something? 'Cause I would have no hang-ups about hugging you... you know, you being a guy and all. Just don't knead my ass when you do it.
-Get the fuck outta here already.
-Are you open?
-Yes.
-Just the paper.
-I'd say about sixty, seventy-tops.
-He's got those love handles.
-Do I know you?
-You remember Alyssa Jones? She hung out with...
-Caitlin Bree. Yeah?
-I'm her sister.
-You're Alyssa's sister? Heather?
-You know him?
-I still remember Caitlin telling us about that time you two went to that motel-the one with the mirrors and the hot tub in the room.
-I'm surprised you never found out about it, Dante. Everybody in school knew-even in my class.
-Sounds to me like somebody needs to hit the gym.
-Excuse me?
-I heard you strain when you put the milk in the bag. That milk only weighs about seven pounds.
-I didn't strain. I sighed.
-I don't think so. That was a grunt; a deep inhalation of oxygen to aid in the stretching of muscles. I'm a trainer. I know what that sound signifies: you're out of shape.
-I don't think so.
-Oh, I do. You made the same noise when you reached across the counter for my cash. Your muscles are thin and sadly underutilized.
-They are not.
-Yes, they are. You're out of shape.
-What are you talking about? There's no fat on this body.
-I am not.
-How much can you bench?
-Oh for God's sake!
-Did you say Caitlin Bree?
-Yeah.
-Pretty girl, about this girl's height- dark hair-gorgeous body?
-Yeah?
-And your name is Dante Hicks? You went to high school with her? You played hockey?
-How do you know that?
-Oh man! Hey, you still going out with her?
-No, she's getting married.
-What?
-Wait a second! You used to sleep with Caitlin Bree? While I was dating her?
-All the time. That girl was like a rabbit.
-What? When? When did all this shit happen?
-But I didn't sell cigarettes to any kids! Hey!
-Are there any balls down there?!
-Go open the video store.
-Yeah, you cock-smoking clerk.
-How many times I gotta tell you not to deal outside the store.
-Noinch, noinch, noinch-smoking weed, smoking weed! Doing coke! Drinking beers! A pack of wraps, my good man. It's time to kick back, drink some beers, and smoke some weed!
-Done poisoning the youth for the day?
-Hell yes, whatever that means. Now I'm gonna head over to Atlantic, drink some beers, get ripped, and- please God-get laid. E-Z Wider, one-and-a-halfs.
-One seventy-nine.
-Pay the good man. Don't you close soon?
-A half hour.
-We get off about the same time every night. We should hang out. You get high?
-I should start.
-Wanna come to this party tonight? There's gonna be some pussy there, man!
-With you? I don't think so.
-Listen to you. Oh shit. "Oh, I don't hang out with drug dealers."
-I work, just like you. You're more of a crook than I am, dude.
-How do you figure... HEY! You can't roll a joint in here!
-Relax brother. What I mean is that you sell the stuff in this store at the highest prices around. A dollar seventy-nine for wraps-what's that shit?
-It's not my store.
-And these aren't my drugs-I just sell them.
-The difference is you exploit a weakness.
-What's that mean?
-You sell to people that can't stay away from an addiction.
-All right. How much is Pepsi here?
-A dollar sixty-nine, plus tax.
-At Food City it's ninety-nine cents, plus tax.
-So.
-So why do you sell it for so much more? I'll tell you why-because people come here and they're like "A dollar eighty for soda? I should get it at Food City. But I don't feel like driving there. I'll just buy it here so I don't have to drive up there." That's exploiting a weakness, too, isn't it?
-I can't believe you just rolled a joint in here.
-Hey, man, what happened with that old guy?
-He died in the bathroom.
-That's fucked up. Yo, I heard he was jerkin' off.
-I don't know. I wasn't watching.
-Probably saw that Caitlin chick. I know I felt like beatin' it when I saw her. Come here, bitch! You like this? Is this what you want? Hunhh?
-Knock it off. That used to be my girlfriend.
-You used to go out with her?
-We were going to start again, I think.
-Don't you already have a girlfriend?
-Veronica.
-Is she that girl who's down here all the time? She came here today carrying a plate of food.
-Lasagne.
-And what-you were gonna dump her to date that Caitlin chick?
-Maybe.
-I don't know dude. That Caitlin chick's nice. But I see that Veronica girl doing shit for you all the time. She brings you food, she rubs your back... Didn't I see her change your tire one day?
-I jacked the car up. All she did was loosen the nuts and put the tire on.
-Damn. She sure goes out of her way.
-She's my girlfriend.
-I've had girlfriends, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit. Shit, my grandma used to say, "Which is better: a good plate with nothing on it..." No, wait. I fucked up. She said "What's a good-looking plate with nothing on it?"
-Meaning?
-It's not like it's a demanding job. I'd like to get paid to sit on my ass and watch TV. The other day I walked in there and that sonofabitch was sleeping.
-I'm sure he wasn't sleeping.
-You calling me a liar?
-No; he was probably just resting his eyes.
-What the hell is that? Resting his eyes! It's not like he's some goddamned air traffic controller!
-Actually, that's his night job.
-Such a wiseass. But go ahead. Crack wise. That's why you're jockeying a register in some fucking local convenience store instead of doing an honest day's work. I got no more time to bullshit around waiting for that sonofabitch. You make sure this gets back. The number's eight-twelve-Wynarski. And I wanted to get a damn movie, too.
-If you'll just tell me the title of your rental choice, I'll have him hold it for you.
-Be careful.
-I'm trying.
-You know the insides of those are filled with stuff that gives you cancer.
-So I'm told.
-And he got cancer by chewing fluorescent bulb glass...?
-No, he got hit by a bus.
-Oh... Can I help you?
-Well, that depends. Do you have a bathroom?
-Um... yeah, but it's for employees only.
-I understand, but can I use it. I'm not that young anymore, so I'm kind of... you know... incontinent.
-Uh... sure. Go ahead. It's back through the cooler.
-Thanks son. Say-what kind of toilet paper you got back there?
-The white kind.
-I'm not asking about the color. I mean is it rough or cottony?
-Actually, it is kind of rough.
-Rough, eh? Oh, that stuff rips hell out of my hemorrhoids. Say, would you mind if I took a roll of the soft stuff back there. I see you sell the soft stuff.
-Yeah, but...
-Aw, c'mon boy. What's the difference? You said yourself the stuff that's there now is rough.
-Yeah, okay. Go ahead.
-Say, young fella, you know I hate to bother you again, but can I take a paper or something back there... to read? It usually takes me a while, and I like to read while it's going on.
-Jesus... go ahead.
-You know, you probably could've been home, already, in the time it's taken you to get in there.
-Can I trouble you for one of those magazines?
-I said go ahead.
-The porno mags?
-Yeah. I like the cartoons. They make me laugh. They draw the biggest titties.
-Here. Now leave me alone.
-All right, stupid question. But don't you think you're taking this a bit too hard?
-Too hard?! I don't have enough indignities in my life-people start throwing cigarettes at me!
-At least they weren't lit.
-I hate this fucking place.
-Then quit. You should be going to school anyway...
-Please, Veronica. Last thing I need is a lecture at this point.
-All I'm saying is that if you're unhappy you should leave.
-I'm not even supposed to be here today!
-I know. I stopped by your house and your mom said you left at like six or something.
-The guy got sick and couldn't come in.
-Don't you have a hockey game at two?
-Yes! And I'm going to play like shit because I didn't get a good night's sleep!
-Why did you agree to come in then?
-I'm only here until twelve, then I'm gone. The boss is coming in.
-Why don't you open the shutters and get some sunlight in here?
-Somebody jammed the locks with gum.
-You're kidding.
-Bunch of savages in this town.
-You look bushed. What time did you get to bed?
-I don't know-like two-thirty, three.
-What were you doing up so late?
-Hunhh? Nothing.
-What were you doing?
-Nothing! Jesus! I gotta fight with you now?
-Who's fighting? Why are you so defensive?
-What? What is that?
-She called you, didn't she?
-How much money did you leave up there?
-Like three dollars in mixed change and a couple of singles. People only get the paper of coffee this time of morning.
-You're trusting.
-Why do you say that?
-How do you know they're taking the right amount of change? Or even paying for what they take?
-Theoretically, people see money on the counter and nobody around, they think they're being watched.
-Honesty through paranoia. Why do you smell like shoe polish?
-I had to use shoe polish to make that sign. The smell won't come off.
-Do you think anyone can see us down here?
-Why? You wanna have sex or something?
-Ooh! Can we?!
-Really?
-I was kidding.
-Yeah, right. You can't get enough of me.
-Typically male point of view.
-How do you figure?
-You show some bedroom proficiency, and you think you're gods. What about what we do for you?
-Women? Women, as lovers, are all basically the same: they just have to be there.
-"Be there?"
-Making a male climax is not all that challenging: insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat.
-How flattering.
-Now, making a woman cum... therein lies a challenge.
-Oh, you think so?
-A girl makes a guy cum, it's standard. A guy makes a girl cum, it's talent.
-And I actually date you?
-Something wrong?
-I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it takes more than that to get a guy off. Just "being there"-as you put it-is not enough.
-I touched a nerve.
-I'm astonished to hear you trivialize my role in our sex life.
-It wasn't directed at you. I was making a broad generalization.
-You were making a generalization about "broads!"
-These are my opinions based on my experiences with the few women who were good enough to sleep with me.
-How many?
-How many what?
-How many girls have you slept with?
-How many different girls? Didn't we already have this discussion once?
-We might have; I don't remember. How many?
-Including you?
-It better be up to and including me.
-Twelve.
-You've slept with twelve different girls?
-What the hell was that for?
-You're a pig.
-Why'd you hit me?
-Do you know how many different men I've had sex with?
-Do I get to hit you after you tell me?
-Three.
-Three?
-Three including you.
-You've only had sex with three different people?
-I'm not the pig you are.
-Who?
-You!
-No; who were the three, besides me?
-John Franson and Rob Stanslyk.
-Wow. That's great. That's something to be proud of.
-I am. And that's why you should feel like a pig. You men make me sick. You'll sleep with anything that says yes.
-Animal, vegetable, or mineral.
-Vegetable meaning paraplegic.
-They put up the least amount of struggle.
-After dropping a bombshell like that, you owe me. Big.
-All right. Name it.
-I want you to come with me on Monday.
-Where?
-To school. There's a seminar about getting back into a scholastic program after a lapse in enrollment.
-Can't we ever have a discussion without that coming up?
-It's important to me, Dante. You have so much potential that just goes to waste in this pit. I wish you'd go back to school.
-Shit! Why are we getting up?
-Why do you call him that?
-Sylvan made it up. It's a blow job thing.
-What do you mean?
-After he gets a blow job, he likes to have the cum spit back into his mouth while kissing. It's called snowballing.
-He requested this?
-He gets off on it.
-Sylvan can be talked into anything.
-Why do you say that?
-Like you said-she snowballed him.
-Sylvan? No; I snowballed him.
-Yeah, right.
-You sucked that guy's dick?
-Yeah. How do you think I know he liked...
-But... but you said you only had sex with three guys! You never mentioned him!
-That's because I never had sex with him!
-You sucked his dick!
-We went out a few times. We didn't have sex, but we fooled around.
-Oh my God! Why did you tell me you only slept with three guys?
-Because I did only sleep with three guys! That doesn't mean I didn't just go with people.
-Oh my God-I feel so nauseous...
-I'm sorry, Dante. I thought you understood.
-I did understand! I understand that you slept with three different guys, and that's all you said.
-Please calm down.
-How many?
-Dante...
-How many dicks have you sucked?!
-Let it go...
-HOW MANY?
-All right! Shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak like this when you told me how many girls you fucked.
-Well...?
-Something like thirty-six.
-WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THIRTY-SIX?
-Lower your voice!
-What the hell is that anyway, "something like thirty-six?" Does that include me?
-Um. Thirty-seven.
-I'M THIRTY-SEVEN?
-I'm going to class.
-Hey! Where are you going?!
-Hey listen, jerk! Until today you never even knew how many guys I'd slept with, because you never even asked. And then you act all nonchalant about fucking twelve different girls. Well, I never had sex with twelve different guys!
-No, but you sucked enough dick!
-Yeah, I went down on a few guys...
-A few?
-...And one of those guys was you! The last one, I might add, which-if you're too stupid to comprehend- means that I've been faithful to you since we met! All the other guys I went with before I met you, so, if you want to have a complex about it, go ahead! But don't look at me like I'm the town whore, because you
-Well... why did you have to suck their dicks? Why didn't you just sleep with them, like any decent person?!
-Because going down it's a big deal! I used to like a guy, we'd make out, and sooner or later I'd go down on him. But I only had sex with the guys I loved.
-I feel sick.
-I love you. Don't feel sick.
-I'm going to school. Maybe later you'll be a bit more rational.
-Thirty-seven. I just can't...
-He still hasn't shown up. Why aren't you in class?
-Lit 101 got canceled, so I stopped home and brought you some lunch.
-What is it?
-Peanut butter and jelly with the crusts cut off. What do you think it is? It's lasagne.
-Really? You're the best.
-You had to tell him.
-I had to tell someone. He put it into perspective.
-What did he say?
-At least he wasn't thirty-six.
-And that made you feel better?
-And he said most of them are college guys, I've never met or seen.
-The ostrich syndrome: if you don't see it...
-...it isn't there. Yes.
-Thank you for being rational.
-Thank you for the lasagne.
-You couldn't get these shutters open?
-I called a locksmith and he said the earliest he could get here it tomorrow.
-Bummer, Well, I've gotta head back for the one-thirty class.
-What time do you get finished?
-Eight. But I have a sorority meeting till nine, so I'll be back before you close. Can we go out and get some coffee?
-Sure.
-What the fuck did you do that for?
-If you didn't want to go out with me anymore, why didn't you just say it? Instead, you pussyfoot around and see that slut behind my back!
-What're you talking about?
-You've been talking to her on the phone for weeks!
-It was only a few times...
-And then you pull that shit this morning, freaking out because I've gone down on a couple guys!
-A couple...?
-I'm not the one trying to patch things up with my ex, sneaking around behind your back! And if you think that thirty-seven dicks are a lot, then just wait, mister: I'm going to put the hookers in Times Square to shame with all the guys I go down on now!
-Would you let me explain...
-Explain what? How you were waiting until the time was right, and then you were going to dump me for her?
-You're damn right it's not like that! Because I won't let it be like that! You want your slut? Fine! The slut is yours!
-I don't want Caitlin...
-You don't know what you want, but I'm not going to sit here anymore holding your hand until you figure it out! I've encouraged you to get out of this fucking dump and go back to school, to take charge of your life and find direction. I even transferred so maybe you would be more inclined to go back to college if I was
-I don't want to go back with her...
-Of course not; not now! You're caught, and now you're trying to snake out of doing what you wanted to do. Well, I won't let you. I want you to follow through on this, just so you can find out what a fucking idiot you are. And when she dumps you again- and she will, Dante, I promise you that-when she dumps you again,
-Randal...?
-And having him tell me... that was just the weakest move ever. You're spineless.
-Veronica, I love you...
-You hold the counter and I'll pull.
-Usually I just turn the can upside down.
-Maybe we should soap your hand or something.
-They oughta put some kind of warning on these cans, like they do with cigarettes.
-Thanks. I thought I was gonna have to go to the hospital.
-I'll throw this out. Precautionary measure.
-It stings a little.
-You open?
-Yes. I'm not out of shape.
-Excuse me, but have you been here all day?
-Were you working here at about four o'clock?
-I'm not out of shape!
-Can I have your name please?
-Here you go.
-What's this?
-A fine, for five hundred dollars.
-What are you talking about?
-According to the NJAC-the New Jersey Administrative Code, section eighteen, five, slash twelve point five-a fine of no less than two hundred and fifty dollars is to be leveled against any person reported selling cigarettes to a minor.
-I didn't do that!
-You said you were here all day?
-Yeah, but I didn't sell cigarettes to any kids!
-An angry mother called the state division of taxation and complained that the man working at Quick Stop Convenience sold her five-year-old daughter cigarettes today at around four o'clock. Division of taxation calls the State Board of Health, and they send me down here to issue a fine. You say you were working all day, hence the fine is yours. It's doubled due to
-I didn't sell cigarettes to any kids! I swear!
-Oh shit, look who it is. The human vacuum.
-Scumbag. What are you doing?
-Nothing. Just hanging out with Silent Bob and his cousin.
-He's your cousin?
-Check this out, he's from Russia.
-No way.
-He only speaks Russian?
-No way!
-What did he say?
-That doesn't sound metal.
-Did he say "making fuck?"
-What part of Russia?
-Is he staying here?
-He really wants to play metal?
-Come on, man, "Berserker!"
-Does he sing in English or Russian?
-Let me ask you a question: Do you think this guy's out of shape?
-I don't know. I can't really tell from here.
-I think the lady called it.
-My ex-boyfriend was about his height, but he was much bulkier. He could bench two-fifty, three hundred easy.
-I do about three-fifty, four.
-No way!
-Feel that.
-That's tight. Solid.
-It's probably from being around all this food every day.
-You're Dante Hicks? Oh my God! I didn't even recognize you!
-To an Asian design major.
-Oh my God! You're Rick Derris?
-Really?
-Holy shit! She told you about that! Buddy of mine worked there. Said he watched the whole thing. They used to film people at that hotel; nobody knew about it.
-To a five-year-old kid? What a scumbag!
-Sure. How about the beach?
-You've never heard anybody say anything about either movie?
-I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
-I just held up the same two movies. You're not even paying attention.
-No, I wasn't.
-I don't think your manager would appreciate...
-I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
-I beg your pardon!
-Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
-I only pointed out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.
-I hope it feels good.
-You hope what feels good?
-Well this is the last time I ever rent here...
-You'll be missed.
-That's the price, my brother.
-Yo, I don't have that kind of cash.
-For this kind of hash, you need that kind of cash.
-How long you gonna be here?
-Till ten. Then I'm going to John K's party.
-You're gonna be at John K's party?
-My man is deaf. I'M GOING TO JOHN K'S PARTY! Neh.
-Yo, don't sell all that. 'Cause I'm gonna get the cash and buy it from you at John K's. You're gonna bring it, right?
-The only place I don't bring my drugs is church. And that ain't till Sunday morning.
-Yo. I'll see you at that party. I'll see you there?
-And... he told you all of this?
-Pretty much. All except the latent homosexuality part-that's just my theory.
-I... I don't know what to say.
-Don't hold it against him. He just never got Caitlin out of his system. It's not your fault. It's Dante. I don't know thing one about chicks. Do you want to cry or something? I can leave.
-I'm not sad.
-You're not?
-No, I'm more furious. I'm pissed off. I feel like he's been killing time while he tries to grow the balls to tell me how he really feels, and then he can't even do it! He has his friend do it for him!
-He didn't ask me to...
-After all that I've done for that fuck! And he wants to be with that slut? Fine! He can have his slut!
-Um, do you think you can give me a lift home tonight?
-The guy ain't here yet.
-You're kidding. It's almost eleven- thirty!
-I know. I've been here since eleven.
-Man! I hate it when I can't rent videos!
-I would've went to Big Choice, but the tape I want is right there on the wall.
-Which one?
-Dental School.
-You came for that too? That's the movie I came for.
-I have first dibs.
-Says who?
-Says me. I've been here for half an hour. I'd call that first dibs.
-Ain't gonna happen, my friend. I'm getting that tape.
-Like hell you are!
-I'll bet you twenty bucks you don't get to rent that tape.
-Twenty bucks?
-Twenty bucks.
-Willam!
-Ronnie! How are you? You work here now?
-No, I transferred into Monmouth this year. I was tired of missing him.
-Do you still talk to Sylvan?
-I just talked to her on Monday. We still hang out on weekends.
-That's cool. Well-you two lovebirds take it easy, all right?
-I will. Take it easy.
-Bye.
-Gabe! Hey, man! Gabe! It's Gabe!
-Work! Don't say that word, man.
-Man, I hate work even when somebody else does it!
-Hey, Gabe, we're flyin' off the Tower today. C'mon with us.
-Did you catch that thunder?
-"It's a perfect day for a monster jump." Hey man, can you like do me a favor?
-What?
-Next time you're like watching MTV, y' know, like flip it to the weather channel for a split second and check it out. I mean, hey, we could be home watching some righteous pornos.
-That woulda been cool.
-Answer the man.
-C-4?
-Ready to die quiet-like, asshole.
-Hey, let's get something straight. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, but you're always gonna be the asshole, so just shoot, alright.
-Did I hear somethin' break? Outside left!
-Fuck you.
-Hal's signalling he's OK.
-He said the Tower, but he's on Comb Bluff? Frank, fly me to the west valley, the winds are never too bad there and it's only a half hour climb to the Douglas Shaft.
-I don't know.
-If I don't meet up with them, you can come and pick me up by nightfall.
-And it's such a handsome head. Please Frank, and I swear I'll buy one of your paintings.
-Jessie, Jessie, copy?
-I copy.
-Jessie, girl this is insane. Weather stat called in wind gusts up to 50 knots for tonight.
-If you can't make it back, I'll hold up at the Douglas Shaft. Stop worryin'. You sound like a mother hen.
-Jessie, Hal, come in...please report. Over.
-Hey, Jessie, you're just in time for another masterpiece.
-So, what do you see?
-Surprise me.
-What usually eats a banana?
-A monkey?
-So...what are you, blind, son? This is a banana eating a monkey, nature in reverse.
-That was the first and last question-- now only answers. Where's the chopper?
-It can't fly in this weather.
-You know how the airlines are.
-Bags?
-Looks like the Tower. It's a bad climb.
-Go on, fetch.
-Tucker?
-Jessie! Are you alright?
-I want the money--meet me at the highest point from where you are. Don't do it and we're going to see if your angel here can fly. Copy?
-Copy. Jessie, go to the top of Bitker ladder.
-Where are you, Walker?
-Throw it up or I'll kill her.
-You do, and the spring thaw is going to be worth a lot of cash!
-The money!
-Glad you could drop in.
-Hey, anything for a friend. How's the knee?
-I think it's out. No big deal. It's that old football injury.
-Funny, he told me he twisted it gettin' out of a hot tub.
-I love you, too.
-Rescue One -- have located helpless climber, please prepare <u>idiot line</u> for transport, over.
-Remember, keep your arms and legs within the vehicle at all times--
-I'm coming out!
-No, stay off the line! You'll break her loose!
-She's losing it!
-What the hell are you doing here?!
-I was with Jessie, she filled me in.
-Now let me fill you in. You can get your ass back down an' go back to that hole you been hiding in--
-When we get this group down, I'm gone.
-You're gone now! I don't climb with people I can't trust. Why'd you come up, to prove something?
-I'm here for the same reason you are, so let's do it.
-Can't pass up another chance to play hero, can you.
-Look, I know--
-You don't know anything. You did it your way and she died.
-I did what I thought was right.
-Well you were wrong! It was your weight on the line that did it--
-There wasn't time for anything else.
-We'll never know, will we?
-Look, it was a bad time for everybody.
-What the hell do you know about bad time. You didn't love her, you didn't have to explain to her family.
-No, buddy, it was you who dropped it!
-Forget me. If you can, get away.
-Thanks for staying around when you didn't have to.
-How's your leg? I'll live. Where'd you leave Jessie?
-Near Freedom Falls. She went for help.
-What are we going to do?
-I'm going with you.
-Not on that leg.
-Take the gun.
-Room service...Hi, Sarah.
-How're ya feeling?
-Fine, I guess...
-She's tough.
-Sarah, tonight why don't you and Hal come over for dinner?
-Please, can I think about this for a minute...Okay, I'm sorry, it's fine. What do you want me to do?
-Just keep lookin' at me and only think about the distance <u>across</u>. Count it as you go: One, two...by eight you'll be there.
-Can I count as fast as I like?
-Sure you can.
-There you go.
-Two...
-That's it, you look like a professional.
-Four...five...
-Nice and easy...
-Please -- oh, no -- please!
-Use your other hand! Grab it!
-Help me! I don't want to die!
-Do you see them yet?
-Patience my love, patience.
-That's a virtue isn't it?
-Gabe? Gabe, where are you?
-Oh, my God! I can't recognize the face, but the butt does look vaguely familiar.
-He knows it well.
-The ledge, I know it well, or should I say <u>we</u> know it well.
-You can stop right there.
-We spent a night there one night...
-Enough.
-Yeah, we were caught in a storm. I went up there an innocent climber...
-And when I came down, my morals were corrupted forever.
-The winds are picking up.
-Hello, Gabriel.
-When you call me Gabriel, I know I've got trouble.
-Where've you been?
-Working...I'm trying to figure out where to start.
-Maybe I can help. Let's see... if one night I got up and packed up all my things and drove away without leaving so much as a note, and stayed away for months, I think what I'd want to do is come up with a well thought-out reason.
-After the funeral I just had to leave.
-Had to leave? Believe me, we all wanted to leave...but you know what? We stayed.
-A lot of things fell apart up there.
-I know...
-I don't think you do.
-Why can't you believe that you did everything you could?
-Did I? I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have gone out on that line. Maybe I panicked.
-I was there, you were the only one who didn't panic. So do everyone a favor, don't hog all the guilt. You held on as long as you could. Yes, everything did go wrong, starting with Hal. I mean, what was he doing up on the Tower with a girl who could barely climb?
-I can't blame anything on Hal. It was me. I play it back in my mind everyday.
-Then turn it off, Gabe, because it doesn't get any better.
-I don't expect you to understand.
-I don't understand?
-You couldn't.
-You're saying, I don't understand? I'm the <u>only</u> one who does understand. I'm the one you lived with for two years, I'm the one you made promises to, I'm the one who spent too many nights looking up at these rocks and wondering if you were ever going to make it down in once piece or ever at all. Believe me, there's been times
-Why are you yelling?
-Excuse me?
-Why are you yelling?
-Did I miss something?
-Y'know, yelling at this altitude can lead to hyperventilation and fainting--
-I'm not going to faint, but if I want to faint, I'll faint, okay?
-Okay, but if you do I'll have to perform resuscitation--
-Resuscitation?
---mouth-to-mouth, which could maybe...
-Which could maybe what?
-Maybe lead to a flare up...
-A flare up...
-Flare up of old emotions...
-Listen to you... The old "mouth-to-mouth" resuscitation routine, huh?
-From one professional to another, of course.
-Course maybe you don't have to wait until I faint.
-Gabe, did you come back to stay? You didn't.
-I can't. Not here. If you want, I'd like you to come with me...somewhere else.
-Where?
-It doesn't matter, anywhere but here.
-You come back after being gone almost a year, and you expect me to just leave... This was <u>our</u> home, now it's <u>my</u> home. I can't leave. You can stay with me, and believe me, I want you to, but to just take off for the wrong reasons, I can't do it. And you shouldn't either.
-Like I said, I can't turn it off.
-And I can't leave.
-If it's alright, I'm gonna pick up the rest of my gear.
-You know where everything is... I'm late for my shift.
-Thank God you didn't leave. We just got a Mayday. Seven climbers stranded off Comb Bluff. The weather's pouring in fast and Hal's gone up alone.
-If he gets up there and the weather gets as bad as it can, they'll never make it down. He needs someone who has emergency medical training and knows every handhold on these peaks.
-He doesn't want my help.
-That's not the issue here, those people are. He can't do it alone.
-He can handle it.
-What if he can't?
-I haven't climbed in months--you lose the feel.
-I know you don't want to be responsible for anybody's life anymore, but walk away and you are responsible. Please Gabe, he went up the west ridge. If you go up the south face, you can catch him, no problem--
-Can't do it? I don't believe this. Don't you feel anything?
-Gabe!?
-What are you doing here!?
-Looking for Hal. Oh my God, I heard someone kick the door open...you came back.
-How'd you get up here?
-Frank dropped me in the west valley and I hiked. You look frozen. What's happening?!
-You got to go back now!
-Before it crashed, they dumped three cases filled with millions. They're using Hal for a bird dog. Once they find the money, Hal's dead. So get on your radio, contact Frank, have him pick you up, then contact the state police, the park police and anything else wearing a badge and tell them to get up here! Do it Jessie.
-I can't. The radio's at the bottom of the shaft. But Frank'll be looking for me soon. When he gets here I'll contact everybody from the chopper.
-That's no good. It'll be dark soon, there's no other shelter for ten miles. If they show, they'll take you too. Why'd you have to come up here?!
-For the same reason you did, to help.
-Let's be creative.
-They've got to find shelter soon, and so do we. How are you holding up?
-Take off and meet me at Eagle Cave.
-What about you?
-Man, it costs a fortune to heat this place.
-I'm glad you find humor in this. Do you know what people would do for that?
-I can't believe you just said that.
-Neither can I. What do you think they're doing now?
-You still wear the cable necklace I gave you.
-Call me sentimental.
-Remember the first time we came up here?
-Of course I do.
-It was great.
-You attacked me.
-Can you think of something more romantic than attacked?
-Only kidding...<u>actually</u> I attacked you.
-Why can't things stay the way they are...everything has to change. What we had was perfect.
-Gabe...your arm?
-Yeah?
-If you're not using your arm, can I borrow it?
-We have to get through to the other side. You up for it?
-I've gone this far, and right now I think I'm in better shape than you.
-A simple yes or no would have done.
-Want me to lead?
-Nice view, huh?
-What was God thinking when he built this place?
-Gabe! Are you alright?
-Can you see light?
-Gabe are you alright?
-No luck?
-She's a lyin' bitch!!
-They'll kill him! He has no idea!
-We might be able to go that way.
-Pull it apart!
-What?
-Start pulling it apart! We're climbing down on it.
-This rope is sixty years old!
-These old ropes can hold 900 lbs., each strand 300. I'm 190, you're about 135 -- it just may hold.
-Never
-Never, what?!
-I've never weighed 135 lbs.!
-Frank! No, Frank! Frank!
-Gabe!
-Reach up! Do it!
-Don't let me fall!
-Thanks for holding on.
-We were going together before I ever let go of you.
-I'm holding you to that. Gabe, what about Frank?
-Crockett River is where the last of the money fell.
-If we go along the northern ridge, we can get there first.
-There's no "we". There's a me. All I have to do is make it along the north wall to Bitker Ladder. What you're doing is going back down to the station to get help. And don't put on that mad face.
-Forget it. You're in no shape to climb alone. I stayed with you this far, and you didn't drop me, so I owe you. C'mon, let's go. Hurry up, time is money.
-My heart can't take much more of this. Look, if we climb down from here, it'll take two hours to get back to the station.
-That's exactly what I want you to do.
-What do you think? Maybe I could reach the ledge without falling. No, forget it.
-But maybe with a good start I can hit those hand-holds.
-Hand-holds?! I can barely see them.
-We don't have time to argue about it!
-Are you crazy? Has the altitude shrunk your brain, Gabe?
-Take the rope.
-I won't do it. No way.
-Take the rope.
-Enough's enough. How could anybody in their right mind... then again, you never were in your right mind.
-Wrap it around that rock twice.
-I'm going to wrap it around your throat!
-An' if I miss, dig in and try your best to slow the fall.
-Forget it! I refuse!
-Fine, it shouldn't bother your conscience.
-Just kidding.
-Gabe? Wait 'til I get over there. Tie the rope so I can come across.
-What about you?!
-The "old mouth to mouth" resuscitation routine.
-There's a lot more where that came from. You're not leaving again?
-Look here, the mountain man. You're Walker, right?
-Good memory. You must be great with numbers.
-Your mouth's writing a check your ass can't cash, but if ya wanna buy some life, bring me the money.
-I burned it.
-What the fuck you mean you burned it?
-Never could save a thing.
-Where's the helicopter?
-The faster you find the bags, the bigger you boys' finder's fee will be.
-He'll freeze.
-What's he doing?
-Talk. No tricks, no codes, no messages. You haven't found us. It was a fake call.
-Mr. Travers is not the athletic type, he needs something more direct.
-Souvenirs? No, wrong answer. Looks like your friend plans on hanging around, that possible?
-No, he's gone.
-It's up there, on the Tower.
-For Christ's sake, they're kids.
-You son of a bitch! You said you wouldn't kill him!
-Murdering, motherfucker...
-You said there was a way across.
-He never hurt anybody.
-Travers, you're not running things.
-Tucker, you know where the money is-- I want it.
-Qualen, go fuck yourself. The game's over--you lost.
-No, the goddamn game's not over! It's never over when you're playing against a team that doesn't care if they win or lose-- how do you negotiate with someone like that?!
-Yeah...
-What's your names?
-Tucker and Walker.
-Have her come up.
-On top of the peak.
-He asked you, how far?! I think you've been taking the scenic route. How far from here?
-Then where the fuck is!
-Rescue One -- please be advised Ranger Walker is making advances toward my girlfriend that are liable to get his ass kicked right into space, over.
-Go after her.
-Got to be Comb Bluff.
-You and Frank get the tents, thermal clothing, and medical supplies together.
-Who's going with you?
-You're looking at him.
-Where's the rest of the team?
-You gotta be kidding me! Do you want me to fly up after you? Over.
-Oh, my God!
-Right.
-I don't know about totally.
-Who the hell ever is. This is the most protected shipment we've got-- and the most useless. These bills aren't even <u>in</u> circulation; the one thousand dollar bills we're transporting are only used for international banking exchange.
-What the hell are you doing--
-Now I have jurisdiction! I said get your weapons.
-Calm down...give the gun to me. You're out of control, son.
-Travers! Hurry it up.
-Why didn't you send the money over?
-What's the delay?
-Kill me? Christ we're partners in this!
-Were. Give me the tracking monitor!
-Why? What are you going to do?!
-Don't use my name!
-Ask the questions.
-Where's the third one, Travers?
-Get off my back, Qualen!
-Don't give him anything.
-I don't trust him.
-Bring down the money or your friend's dead!
-Man against nature, right Travers.
-What about it?
-This way.
-He's alive!
-Jessie? Looks like your friend found company.
-Good, Travers. It might catch on, like shooting skeet.
-This is insane. The hell with the money. You radio in for that chopper, understand!
-Is it set?
-Why the hell are we wasting time here?!
-What's the code, Travers?
-I told you, 50,000 possible keycode combinations, in fifteen second intervals.
-You got what we need?
-No, that son-of-a-bitch Walker is alive.
-No names, this is an open line!
-I don't give a shit, Qualen! I had to be insane to ever tie up with a low-life, piece of shit like you. They beat us. A couple of fuckin' hick mountain boys beat the man no law agency ever could.
-Rich...
-Good morning, Walt.
-I'd like to have a word with you. This is Agent Matheson, FBI.
-Richard Travers.
-Matheson has been transferred from the Denver office to Frisco. As a professional courtesy between offices, I was asked if he could hitch a ride.
-We've got a full crew, but we can squeeze one more, right.
-Appreciate it.
-Mostly. Armored cars can be hijacked. Trains can be derailed. But nobody can get to us in flight.
-I haven't lost a bill in eighteen years, don't jinx me, Walt.
-I think Treasury personnel are the most superstitious people in the federal government.
-Hello Lucy, had a busy night? Puts money in machine.
-We've been working hard too. Takes glass.
-Pardon me. Luce. He raises glass to breast, pulls red handle between her legs. Milk spurts into glass. Dim joins the others. Alex looks at a party of tourists.
-There was some sophistos from the TV studios around the corner, laughing an govoreeting. The Devotchka was smecking away, and not caring about the wicked world one bit. Then the disc on the stereo twanged off and out, and in the short silence before the next one came on, she suddenly came with a burst of singing, and it was like for a moment,
-What did you do that for?
-For being a bastard with no manners and not a dook of an idea how to comport yourself publicwise, O my Brother.
-I don't like you should do what you done. And I'm not your brother no more and wouldn't want to be.
-Watch that... Do watch that, O Dim, if to continue to be on live thou dost wish.
-Yarbles, great bolshy yarblockos to you I'll meet you with chain, or nozh or britva, any time, not having you aiming tolchocks at me reasonless. It stands to reason, I won't have it.
-A nozh scrap any time you say. Dim weakens.
-He are here! He have arrived! Hooray!
-Sorry about the pain. Using the gulliver to much like, eh? Giving orders and disciplining and that perhaps, eh? You sure the pain's gone? You sure you'll not be happier back up in bed.
-One minoota, droogie. Dim smashes Alex in the face with a full milk bottle. He goes down. The others run away, laughing.
-Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, if it isn't little Alex. Long time no viddy, droog. How goes? Surprised are you?
-Come on, Alex. Come for walkies. Hahahahaha.
-Come, come, my little droogies. I just don't get this at all. The old days are dead and gone. For what I did in the past I've been punished.
-Been punished, yeah?
-I've been cured.
-Been cured, yeah, that was read out to us. The Inspector read all that out to us. He said it was a very good way.
-I just don't get this all. It was them that went for me, brothers. You're not on their side and can't be. You can't be Dim. It was someone we fillied with back in the old days... Trying to get his own malenky bit of revenge after all this time. You remember, Dim?
-Dear, dear, dear. Whatever happened to you, my boy? Mr. Alexander, now confined to a wheelchair, pushes himself away from his desk, and rolls up to Julian. The water drips off Alex's clothes. They look at each other.
-The police... The horrible ghastly Police. They beat me up, sir. The Police beat me up, sir. Mr. Alexander stares at him. It becomes apparent he is insane.
-I know who you are! Isn't it your picture in the newspapers? Didn't I see you this morning on the video? Are you not the poor victim of this horrible new technique?
-Yes, sir, that's exactly who I am, sir... and what I am... a victim, sir. Mr. Alexander becomes frenzied as the speech progresses.
-Good evening, sir.
-Good evening.
-It was very kind of you to leave this out for me, sir. There was no-one around when I finished my bath, so I started. I hope that's alright, sir.
-Of course. Food alright?
-Great, sir. Great.
-Try the wine!
-Thank you very much, sir. Cheers Suddenly the thought occurs to Alex that the wine may be drugged or poisoned.
-Won't you join me, sir?
-No, my health doesn't allow it.
-I'm so pleased you appreciate good wine. Have another glass!
-Thank you, sir.
-My wife... Alex freezes.
-... used to do everything for me and leave me to my writing.
-Your wife, sir? Has she gone away?
-No. She's dead!
-I'm sorry to hear about that, sir. His face contorted in rage.
-She was very badly raped, you see. We were assaulted by a gang of vicious young hooligans in this house, in this very room you're sitting in now. I was left a helpless cripple. The doctors said it was Pneumonia, because it happened some months later during the 'flu epidemic. The doctors told me it was Pneumonia, but I knew what it was. A
-And now you, another victim of the modern age. But you can be helped. I phoned some friends while you were having a bath.
-Phoned some friends, sir?
-Yes. They want to help.
-Help me, sir?
-Help you.
-Who are they, sir?
-They're very, very important people and they're interested in you. Bell rings. Julian rises,
-Julian. This will be these people now. Alex gets up.
-Look, sir. I'm sorry to have troubled you. I think I ought to be going, sir. Julian bars the way.
-Excuse me, missus, can you please help? There's been a terrible accident. Can I please use your telephone for an ambulance?
-I'm frightfully sorry. There is a telephone in the Public House about a mile down the road. I suggest you use that.
-But, missus, this is an emergency. It's a matter of life and death. Me friend's lying in the middle of the road bleeding to death.
-I... I'm very sorry, but I never open. I'm very sorry but I never open the door to strangers after dark.
-Hi, hi, hi there, at last we meet.
-What the bloody hell d'you think you're doing?
-Our brief govereet thru the letter hole was not, shall we say, satisfactory, yes?
-Now listen here, you little bastard, just you turn around and walk out of here the same way as you came in. Alex eyes a giant white, fibreglass phallic sculpture on the table beside him.
-Naughty, naughty, naughty, you filthy old soomaka.
-No! No! Don't touch it. That's a very important work of art. What the bloody hell do you want?
-You see, madam, I am part of an international student's contest to see who can get the most points for selling magazines.
-So this is the young man?
-How do you do, sir?
-Hullo.
-Very kind of you, sir. Thank you very much.
-I understand that you had a rather unfortunate encounter with the Police tonight.
-Yes, sir. I suppose you might call it that, sir.
-Hahaha, and how are you feeling now?
-Much better, thank you, sir.
-Feel like talking to us. Answering a few questions?
-Fine, sir, fine.
-Well, as I've said, we've heard about you. We are interested in your case. We want to help you.
-Thank you very much, sir.
-But first we'd like to find out a few things about you.
-What would you like to know, sir?
-Well, shall we get down to it?
-It's past eight, Alex, you don't want to be late for school, son.
-Bit of pain in the gulliver, Mum. Leave us be and I'll try to sleep it off... then I'll be as right as dodgers for this after.
-You've not been to school all week, son.
-I've got to rest, Mum... got to get fit, otherwise I'm liable to miss a lot more school.
-Eeee... I'll put your breakfast in the oven. I've got to be off myself now.
-Hi. Hi. Hi, there my Pee and Em. All three look up startled.
-Alex.
-Why didn't you let us know what was happening, son?
-Ah, Alex boy, awake at last, yes? I met your mother on the way to work, yes? She gave me the key. She said something about a pain somewhere... hence not at school , yes?
-A rather intolerable pain in the head, brother, sir. I think it should be clear by this afterlunch.
-Oh, or certainly by this evening, yes? The evening's a great time, isn't it, Alex boy?
-A cup of the old chai, sir?
-No time, no time, yes. Sit, sit, sit. Alex sits next to him.
-To what do I owe this extreme pleasure, sir? Anything wrong, sir? Deltoid "playfully" grabs Alex's hair.
-Wrong? Why should you think of anything being wrong, have you been doing something you shouldn't. Yes? He shakes Alex's hair.
-Just a manner of speech, sir.
-Well, yes, it's just a manner of speech from your Post Corrective Advisor to you that you watch out, little Alex. He puts his arm round Alex's shoulder.
-Because next time it's going to be the barry place and all my work ruined. If you've no respect for your horrible self, you at least might have some for me who'se sweated over you. He slaps Alex on the knee.
-A big black mark I tell you for every one we don't reclaim. A confession of failure for every one of you who ends up in the stripy hole.
-I've been doing nothing I shouldn't, sir. The millicents have nothing on me, brother, sir, I mean. Deltoid pulls Alex down on the bed.
-Cut out all this clever talk about milicents. Just because the Police haven't picked you up lately doesn't, as you very well know, mean that you've not been up to some nastiness. There was a bit of a nastiness last night, yes. Some very extreme nastiness, yes. A few of a certain Billyboy's friends were ambluenced off late last night, yes. Your name was
-What gets into you all? We study the problem. We've been studying it for damn well near a century, yes, but we get no further with our studies. You've got a good home here, good loving parents, you've got not too bad of a brain. Is it some devil that crawls inside of you?
-Nobody's got anything on me, brother, sir. I've been out of the rookers of the milicents for a long time now.
-That's just worries me. A bit too long to long to be reasonable. You're about due now by my reckoning, that's why I'm warning you, little Alex, to keep your handsome young proboscis out of the dirt. Do I make myself clear?
-You are now a murderer, little Alex. A murderer, yes.
-Not true, sir. It was only a slight tolchock. She was breathing, I swear it.
-I've just come back from the hospital. Your victim has died.
-You try to frighten me, sir, admit so, sir. This is some new form of torture. Say it, brother, sir.
-The newspapers mentioned that in addition to your being conditioned against acts of sex and violence, you've inadvertently been conditioned against music.
-Well, er, I think that was something that they hadn't planned for, you see, Missus, I'm very fond of music and always have been, especially Beethoven, Ludwig van... Beethoven. B... E... E... He leans over and looks at her writing in notebook.
-It's alright, thank you.
-And it just so happened that while they were showing me a particularly bad film, of like a concentration camp, the background music was playing Beethoven.
-So now you have the same reaction to music as you do to sex and violence?
-Oh well, it's... it's not all music you see, Missus. It's just the 9th.
-You mean Beethoven's 9th Symphony?
-That's right. Er... I can't listen to the 9th any more at all. When I hear the 9th, I get like this funny feeling.
-When you say this funny feeling, you mean the state of mind brought on by the treatment they gave you?
-That is correct, sir. And then all I can think about is like trying to snuff it.
-I beg your pardon?
-Snuff it, sir... um... death, I mean, missus... Er... I just want to die peacefully like with no... pain.
-Do you feel that way now?
-Um... oh no, sir, not exactly, I still feel very miserable, very much down in spirits.
-Do you still feel suicidal?
-Um... well, put it this way... I feel very low in myself. I can't see much in the future, and I feel that any second something terrible is going to happen to me. He pitches forward, face into the plate of spaghetti.
-We got worried. There we were waiting and drinking away at the old knify Moloko and you had not turned up and we thought you might have been like offended by something or other, so around we come to your abode.
-All right, no more picking on Dim, brother. That's part of the new way.
-New way? What's this about a new way? There's been some very large talk behind my sleeping back, and no error. Let me hear more.
-And what will you do with the big, big, money? Have you not everything you need? If you need a motor-car, you pluck it from the trees. If you need pretty polly, you take it.
-Brother, you think and talk sometimes like a little child. Tonight we pull a mansize crast.
-Good. Real horrorshow. Initiative comes to them as waits. I've taught you much, my little droogies. Now tell me what you have in mind, Georgie Boy.
-Not tonight - not this nochy.
-Come, come, come, Georgie Boy. You're a big strong chelloveck like us all. We're not little children, are we, Georgie Boy? What, then, didst thou in thy mind have? Confrontation. Georgie backs down.
-It's this Health Farm. A bit out of the town. Isolated. It's owned by this like very rich ptitsa who lives there with her cats. The place is shut down for a week and she's completely on her own, and it's full up with like gold and silver and like jewels.
-Who said that?
-I did, sir.
-What crime did you commit.
-Thank you very much for this chance, sir.
-She came towards me with the light like it was the like light of heavenly grace, and the first thing that flashed into my gulliver was that I would like to have her right down there on the floor with the old in-out, real savage. But quick as a shot came the sickness, like a detective that had been watching around the corner and
-Thank you very much. Thank you my dear. Girl bows and exits to loud applause.
-Not feeling too bad now are you?
-No, sir, I feel really great.
-Good.
-Was I alright, sir? Did I do well, sir?
-Good evening, my boy.
-Yes, sir, and a very lovely place it is too, sir, when I wake up in the middle of the night with my pain.
-Yes... well good to see you on the mend. I've kept in constant touch with the hospital, of course, and now I've come to see you personally to see how you're getting along.
-I've suffered the tortures of the damned. The tortures of the damned, sir.
-Yes I can... Oh look, let me do that for you, shall I?
-Thank you, sir.
-I can tell you that I... and the Government of which I am a member are deeply sorry about this, my boy. Deeply sorry. We tried to help you. We followed recommendations had been made to us that turned out to be wrong. An enquiry will place the responsibility where it belongs. We want you to regard us as friends. We've put you right,
-Where is he now, sir?
-We put him away where he can do you no harm. You see we are looking after your interests. We are interested in you, and when you leave here you will have no further worries. We shall see to everything... a good job on a good salary.
-What job and how much?
-You must have an interesting job at a salary which you would regard as adequate. Not only for the job which you are going to do and in compensation for what you believe you have suffered, but also because you are helping us.
-Helping you, sir?
-We always help our friends, don't we? It is no secret that the Government has lost a lot of popularity because of you, my boy. There are some that think that at the next election we shall be out. The press has chosen to take a very unfavourable view of what we tried to do.
-Well, who can blame them, sir?
-Mmmm, possibly. Yes. But public opinion has a way of changing and you, Alex, if I may call you, Alex?
-Certainly, sir. What do they call you at home?
-My name is Frederick. As I was saying, Alex, you can be instrumental in changing the public verdict. Do you understand, Alex? Have I made myself clear?
-As an unmuddied lake, Fred. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. You can rely on me, Fred.
-Good... good boy. Oh yes, I understand you're fond of music. I have arranged a little surprise for you.
-Surprise?
-One I think you will like... as a, how shall I put it, as a symbol of our new understanding. An understanding between two friends.
-Hullo lad. What a surprise, good to see you.
-Keeping fit then?
-Fine, fine.
-Well, how are you then?
-Oh fine, fi. Keeping out of trouble, you know.
-Well - I'm back.
-That's right, Dad they did a great job on my gulliver, I'm completely reformed.
-Aye.
-Well, still the same old place then, eh?
-Oh, aye, aye.
-Hey, Dad, there's a strange fella sitting on the sofa there munchy- wunching lomticks of toast.
-Aye, that's Joe. He... ummmm, lives here now. The lodger. That's what he is... he... he rents your room. Alex confronts Joe.
-No thanks, Mum. It'll pass in a minute... ... What have you done with all my own personal things?
-Well. That was all took away, son, by the Police. New regulation about compensation for the victim.
-What about Basil? Where's my snake?
-Oh well, he met with like an accident. He passed away. Alex becomes a bit weepy.
-What's gonna happen to me then? I mean that's my room he's in - there's no denying that. This is my home also. What suggestions have you, my Pee and Em, to make?
-What gives, O my Pee and Em, what makes you think you are welcome? Em sobs. Pee comforts her.
-Hello, heap of dirt. Pooh, you don't wash much do you, judging by the horrible smell.
-Why do you say that, brother? I had a shower this morning.
-Oh, he had a shower this morning. You trying to call me a liar?
-No, brother. What d'you want?
-What do I want?
-Sorry, brother. I didn't mean any offence.
-Oh. Oh, you're sorry are you, well you must think I'm awfully stupid. He slaps Alex in the face.
-Why did you do that, brother? I've never done wrong to you.
-You want to know why I did that, well you see - I do that... He stamps on Alex's foot.
-... and this... He pulls Alex's nose.
-... and that... He pulls Alex's ear, pushes him off balance and plants his foot on his chest.
-... because I don't like you horrible type, do I, and if you want to start something... if you want to start... go on... well, you just start. Please do. Alex retching.
-I'm gonna be sick.
-You're gonna be sick are you?
-I wanna be sick.
-You wanna be sick?
-Let me get up.
-You wanna get up? Well, you've gotta you see... well I want you to lick it. Go on... Lick it. Alex, gagging and coughing, licks the sole of his shoe.
-... And again... Go on!!! Again! There's a good boy.
-You are now in H.M. Prison Parkmoor and from this moment you will address all prison officers as sir! Name?
-Alexander de Large, sir.
-Crime?
-Murder, sir.
-Yes, sir.
-Then your toes belong on the other side of it!!!
-Yes sir.
-Right carry on. Alex tosses a bar of chocolate on the desk.
-Pick that up and put it down properly. Alex does so, and continues to empty his pockets.
-One half bar of chocolate. One bunch of keys on white metal ring. One packet of cigarettes. Two plastic ball pens - one black, one red. One pocket comb - black plastic. One address book - imitation red leather. One ten penny piece. One white metal wristlet watch, "Timawrist" on a white metal expanding bracelet. Anything else in your pockets?
-No, sir.
-Right. Sign here for your valuable property. Alex signs.
-The chocolate and cigarettes you brought in - you lose that as you are now convicted. Now go over to the table and get undressed. Alex walks to table and undresses. Chief Guard moves to table with his clipboard.
-Now then, were you in Police custody this morning?
-Religion?
-C of E, sir.
-Do you mean Church of England?
-Yes, sir, Church of England, sir.
-Brown hair, is it?
-Fair hair, sir.
-Blue eyes?
-Blue eyes, yes, sir.
-Do you wear eye glasses or contact lenses?
-Have you ever had any mental illness?
-No, sir.
-Do you wear any false teeth or false limbs?
-Are you an Epileptic?
-No, sir.
-No, sir.
-Crabs?
-No, sir.
-Lice?
-No, sir.
-Through there for a bath.
-You're absolutely right, sir.
-The next morning I was taken to the Ludovico Medical Facility, outside the town centre, and I felt a malenky bit sad having to say goodbye to the old Staja, as you always will when you leave a place you've like gotten used to. Chief Guard briskly leads the way for Alex and escort. They move into reception hall where the Doctor stands.
-Good morning, Alex, my name is Dr. Branom. I'm Doctor Brodsky's assistant.
-Good Morning, Missus. Lovely day, isn't it?
-Indeed it is. May I take this She removes his tray.
-How're you feeling this morning?
-Fine... fine.
-Good. In a few minutes, you'll meeting Dr. Brodsky and we'll begin your treatment. You're a very lucky boy to have been chosen.
-I realise all that, Missus, and I'm very grateful to all concerned.
-We're going to friends now, sir.
-I hope so, Missus. She inserts a needle into the medicine vial.
-What's the hypo for then? Going to send me to sleep?
-Oh no, nothing of the sort.
-Vitamins will it be then?
-Something like that. You are a little undernourished, so after each meal were going to give you a shot. Roll over on your right side please, loosen your pyjama pants and pull them half-way down. He does, somewhat reluctantly. She gives him a shot in the bum.
-What exactly is the treatment here going to be then?
-It's quite simple really. Were just going to show you some films.
-You mean like going to the pictures?
-Something like that.
-Well, that was a very promising start. By my calculations, you should be starting to feel alright again. Yes? Dr. Brodsky's pleased with you. Now tomorrow there'll be two sessions, of course, morning and afternoon.
-You mean, I have to viddy two sessions in one day?
-I imagine you'll be feeling a little bit limp by the end of the day. But we have to be hard on you. You have to be cured.
-But it was horrible.
-Well, of course, it was horrible. Violence is a very horrible thing. That's what you're learning now. Your body is learning it.
-I just don't understand about feeling sick the way I did. I never used to feel sick before. I used to feel like the very opposite. I mean, doing it or watching it, I used to feel real horrorshow. I just don't understand why, how what.
-Are you referring to the background score?
-Yes!!!
-You've heard Beethoven before?
-How are you feeling today?
-Fine. Fine.
-Good. I'm doctor Taylor.
-I haven't seen you before.
-I'm your Psychiatrist.
-Psychiatrist? Huh, do I need one?
-Just part of hospital routine.
-What are we going to do? Talk about me sex life?
-No... I'm going to show you some slides and you are going to tell me what you think about them Alright?
-Ohhh... jolly good. Perhaps you can explain me something to me first.
-Yes?
-Well, when I was all like ashamed up and half awake and unconscious like, I kept having this dream like all these doctors were playing around with me gulliver. You know... like the inside of me brain. I seemed to have this dream over and over again. D'you think it means anything?
-Patients who've sustained the kind of injuries you have often have dreams of this sort. It's all part of the recovery process.
-Oh.
-Now then, each of these slides needs a reply from one of the people in the picture. You'll tell me what you think the person would say. Alright?
-Righty, right. The doctor reads aloud the dialogue printed in the cartoon balloon - a peacock.
-Isn't the plumage beautiful?
-I just say what the other person would say?
-Yes. Yes, well don't think about it too long, just say the first thing that pops into your mind.
-Right... Knickers... Cabbages... It doesn't have a beak. Alex laughs. Slide of woman speaking to boy.
-Good. The boy you always quarrelled with is seriously ill.
-That's right and I'll smash your face for you, yarblockos. Slide of watch shop.
-Good. It wa your fault... you sold me a crummy watch. I want my money back.
-Bollocks. You know what you can do with that watch? You can stick it up your arse. Slide of nude woman in bed, a man at the window.
-Good. What do you want?
-Excuse me, missus. No time for the old in-out, I've just come to read the meter. Slide of bird's nest with eggs.
-Good. You can do whatever you like with these.
-Eggiwegs. I would like to smash 'em. Pick up th elot and f... owww... He slams his hand down and cries out with pain.
-Fucking hell...
-Fine. Well, that's all there is to it. Are you alright?
-I hope so. Is that the end then?
-Yes.
-I was quite enjoying that.
-Good. I'm glad
-How many did I get right?
-It's not that kind of a test. But you seem well on the way to a complete recovery.
-And when do I get out of here then?
-Very soon now the drug will cause the subject to experience a death- like paralysis together with deep feelings of terror and helplessness. One of our earlier test subjects described it as being like death, a sense of stifling and drowning, and it is during this period we have found the subject will make his most rewarding associations between his catastrophic experience and environment
-What's all this about sin?
-You're keen on music?
-You needn't take it any further, sir. You've proved to me that all this ultra-violence and killing is wrong and terribly wrong. I've learned my lesson, sir. I see now what I've never seen before I'm cured, praise Bog!
-You're not cured yet, my boy.
-You must take your chance boy. The choice has been all yours.
-But, Sir... Missus... I see that it's wrong! It's wrong because it's like against like society. It's wrong because everybody has the right to live and be happy without being tolchocked and knifed.
-One thing I could never stand is to see a filthy, dirty old drunkie, howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blerp, blerp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, whatever his age might be, but more especially when he was real old
-Can you... can you spare some cutter, me brothers? Alex rams his stick into the Tramp's stomach. The boys laugh.
-Oh-hhh!!! Go on, do me in you bastard cowards. I don't want to live anyway, not in a stinking world like this.
-Oh - and what's so stinking about it?
-Can you spare me some cutter, me brother? Can you spare some cutter, me brother? Alex, without looking at him, reaches in his pocket and gives him some money.
-Oh, thankyou, your honour. The Tramp takes a second look at Alex.
-Jamey Mack! Be the hokey fly! Holy Mother of God! All the Holy Angels and blessed saints in Heaven preserve us. Alex breaks away but the Tramp toddles alongside him.
-I never forget a face! I never forget any face, be God!
-Leave me alone, brother. I've never seen you before. Tramp shouts to other Meths drinkers and Tramps.
-This is the poisonous young swine that near done me in. Him and his friends beat me and kicked me and thumped me. Alex breaks away again.
-Stop him! Stop him! A leg is stuck out and Alex goes down. The tramp swarm all over him.
-They laughed at me blood and me moans. This murderous young pig is a prize specimen of the cowardly brutal young. He is in our midst and at our mercy. Give it to him. That's it. Old Tramps begin to beat at Alex.
-If thou lose hope being weary in the days of distress, thy strength shall be diminished.
-Fine, my boy, fine, fine.
-Father, I have tried, have I not?
-You have, my son.
-I've done my best, have I not?
-Indeed.
-And, Father, I've never been guilty of any institutional infractions, have I?
-You certainly have not, 655321. You've been very helpful, and you've shown a genuine desire to reform.
-Father - may I ask you a question in private?
-Certainly, my son, certainly. Is there something troubling you, my son? Don't be shy to speak up. Remember, I know all the urges that can trouble young men deprived of the society of women.
-No Father. It's nothing like that, Father. It's about this new thing they're all talking about. About this new treatment that you out of prison in no time at all and makes sure you never get back in again.
-Where did you hear about this? Whose been talking about these things?
-These things get around, Father. Two Warders talk as it might be, and somebody can't help overhearing what they say. Then somebody picks up a scrap of newspaper in the workshops and the newspaper tells all about it. How about putting me in for this new treatment, Father?
-I take it you are referring to the Ludovico Technique?
-I don't know what it's called, Father, all I know is that it gets you out quickly and makes sure that you never get in again.
-That's not proven, 655321. In fact, it is only in the experimental stage at this moment.
-But it is being used, isn't it, Father?
-It has not been used yet in this prison. The Governor has grave doubts about it and I have heard that there are very serious dangers involved.
-I don't care about the danger, Father. I just want to be good. I want for the rest of my life to be one act of goodness.
-The question is weather or not this technique really makes a man good. Goodness comes from within. Goodness is chosen. When a man cannot chose, he ceases to be a man.
-I don't understand about the whys and wherefores, Father. I only know I want to be good.
-Be patient, my son, and put your trust in the Lord.
-Instruct thy son and he shall refresh thee and shall give delight to thy soul.
-One jacket - blue pinstripe.
-One shirt - blue, collar attached.
-One pair of trousers - blue pinstriped.
-One pair of underpants - white with blue waistband.
-Mothballs, sir.
-Very good, Chief. They inspect cells.
-Leave to carry on, sir, please?
-Carry on, Chief.
-Sir, 655321, sir.
-Very good, Chief. Chief Guard turns to Alex.
-Shut your filthy hole, you scum!!!
-You are to be reformed. Tomorrow you go to this man, Brodsky. You wbe leaving here. You will be transferred to the Ludovico Medical Facility. It is believed that you will be able to leave State custody in a little over a fortnight. I suppose that prospect pleases you?
-Don't read it - sign it!
-Pitiful rookerful...
-And there's Will the English in the Muscleman coffee mesto saying he can fence anything that anything that any malchick tries to crast.
-Yeah... Pete the English.
-The shiny stuff. The Ice. The big, big, big money is available's what Will the English says.
-Moloko-plus.
-Enough is remembered though, little Alex. Dim and Georgie laugh. They drag Alex to a low water through.
-Yes, I heard. D'you know what time he got in last night?
-No I don't know, luv, I'd taken my sleepers.
-I wonder where exactly is it he goes to work of evenings.
-Well, it's a surprise all right, a bit bewildering too.
-We've only just read about it in the morning papers.
-Well, what's the matter lad, are you feeling alright?
-D'you think we should do something?
-Hullo, son, how are you?
-How many to a cell?
-Four in this block, sir.
-Cram criminals together and what do you get - concentrated criminality... crime in the midst of punishment.
-I agree, sir. What we need are larger prisons. More money.
-Well, fine... we could still look at C-Block.
-Shall we go to my office?
-Hi ya' doin'? Where to?
-I'll take Sixth. It's faster.
-What?
-Sixth is faster.
-Sixth is a parking lot north of 23rd this time of day.
-The Bowery, you gotta deal with runoff from two bridges.
-Sixth, you got delivery trucks blocking traffic at Herald Square. Look, I make this trip all the time.
-But Bowery's fine, if that's what you want.
-We taking bets? What if you're wrong?
-The ride is free.
-Go ahead, say it.
-No. I got lucky with the lights.
-You like Bach?
-I used to play this piece back in high school.
-Let me guess. Clarinet?
-Violin. I never had the lungs for wind instruments.
-Could'a fooled me, the way you were hollering into that cell phone.
-Different instrument altogether. You know, if you'd only listened to me, we'd be bogged down in traffic right now, and you could have made yourself an extra five bucks.
-Keep it. Go wild. Have a party.
-Why'd you do that? Don't tell me you're a gentleman, Max. I thought chivalry was dead as a necessary consequence of gender politics...
-It's no big deal.
-No? How many cabbies get you into an argument to save you money?
-You're an anomaly in today's world, Max. You're good at what you do, so you must take pride in it...?
-This? Temporary. To pay the bills and save. I got plans...
-Like what?
-You like being a lawyer?
-You psychic?
-Sure. I'm starting an 800 hotline. Caught part of your phone call. And even if I hadn't, there's the dark pinstripe, Armani, elegant, not too hip, which rules out advertising, plus a top-of-the-line briefcase that you live out of, looks like Bottega...
-Bottega.
-Not quite. He did defense. I'm a prosecutor...
-Big case?
-You never answered my question. You like what you do?
-Most of the time.
-But not now?
-Like you, I'm good at it. But at this exact moment in time...like I gotta sumo wrestler on my shoulders until tomorrow morning.
-You need a vacation.
-Just had one.
-Not in a cab... I mean a disconnection...get your head straight...you know, get it together...
-When was the last time you took one?
-Soon. But I take little ones all the time. Comoros Islands in the Indian Ocean.
-How often you go?
-No, no way, I couldn't take that...
-Thanks for everything, Max. Wow...
-Annie...it's Max.
-Max...
-Max, the cab driver!
-Max? Oh... ...it's kind of a strange time to be calling...
-Listen to me! Just listen, okay? There's a man, Vincent, he's coming to kill you!
-He's...what? Say again? We're in cell hell...
-<u>Kill</u> you! He's coming to kill you!
-If this is a joke, it's not funny.
-Did you say <u>Dmitri?</u> How do you know about my case? I don't understand...
-...okay, Max, I believe you...I'll get out of the building...
-...he's two floors below you.
-In my office?
-Where are you, what floor?
-Seventh, files section. What should I do?
-He doesn't know you're up there! Just stay right where you are! Call the police!
-Max, I'm scared. Are you sure?
-This your current address?
-A deer?
-Comin' over Coldwater. Goddamn deer jumps out in front of me. You believe that?
-You still carrying passengers?
-I was heading back to my garage. It's on the way.
-Come on, it's been a long, shitty day. How about a break? I'll call a tow truck myself, I swear. I won't budge from this spot.
-You dizzy? You want to sit down?
-I'm...fine. Fine.
-...I was just a young cat back then, about nineteen, bussin' tables in this very place. Didn't pay but shit, but that wasn't the point. Being around the music, that was the thing. And I was. Take this one night...July 22, 1964...who walks in? Mr. Louis Armstrong.
-You're kidding me.
-Right through those doors. The man himself.
-Jesus...
-He'd come over from Queens to do the Ed Sullivan show. After, he decides to come on up to Harlem and hang with the common folk. That's how he was, you see. Never forgot where he came from. Money and fame an' all that? Meant nothin', long as he could blow that horn. So before you it, he's up on that stage, doin' his
-Was it great? Better than great, it had to be...
-Like Winton Marsalis says, it was pure, spiritual essence. Louis was playing. God was smiling.
-You heard Armstrong play live. I've never been this jealous. You get to talk to him?
-No.
-Oh, my, yes.
-Get outta here! You and Louis?
-Fella owned this place back then, Dix Dwyer, he let slip to Louis that I played. So Pops, he just waves me right up. My heart about stopped. But I got up there all the same, and we played for nearly twenty minutes.
-Remember what you played?
-Most vividly. "St. Louis Blues," "Potato Head Blues," "Sleepy Time Down South..." ...then Pops laid some "Cornet Chop Suey" on me, and left me in the dust like a whipped dog.
-The crowd had to dig it.
-You know Dmitri?
-And here I was thinking you were such a nice guy.
-What kind of question?
-Jazz question. What other kind is there? You get it right, we roll with it. You disappear. Tonight. You don't go home, you don't pack a bag, you just leave town...and nobody, I mean nobody, ever hears from you or sees you again.
-How do I know you'll keep your word?
-One more thing. If by some chance I get this wrong...tell Dmitri I'm sorry.
-Lay it on me.
-It's simple. What was your pal Louis' first musical instrument?
-I know the answer. I know all there is to know about Louis.
-I see. That was an important list, wouldn't you say? The people on that list are being subpoenaed tomorrow by a federal judge. And you "lost" it?
-I'm sorry.
-Tell me, Vincent. Do you believe in Santa Claus?
-Can't say that I do.
-Tell me Vincent. Tell me what you think.
-What?
-I think... ...I think you should get this gun out of my fucking face.
-What? What did you say?
-I picked up a tail.
-Federal?
-You think I wanted to come here tonight? You think I'm that stupid? Sometimes shit happens, you gotta roll with it.
-Tell me. Has Black Peter already crossed off a few bad children?
-The fat man on Cherry Street. The other fat man, Mr. Bulldozer. The trumpet player. That leaves two.
-Can you finish on schedule?
-Vincent. Do not cross me.
-As a token of my appreciation for your understanding in this matter, I'd like to offer you a discount for my services tonight. Twenty five percent.
-Twenty five?
-Hell, make it fifty. Same goes for any business we have in the future.
-Very generous.
-Something going on?
-...goddamn it, you telling me this motherfucker's whacked three of our witnesses tonight...
-Advance team, two men, stick to that goddamn cab, stay in radio contact, the rest of us follow in the van. Nobody moves until the entire team's in place...
-...got off the phone with his dispatcher. What an asshole. Cabbie's name is Max Rilke, been driving that cab for ten years...
-So?
-...so, his description of Max the cabdriver matches the guy who walked out of Villa Rodeo. That guy? That guy is a cabbie. And you're telling me this cabbie walks into a phone booth and emerges as a meat eater, assassin with heavy trigger time? What's he do, squeeze 'em in between fares?
-Lemme tell you something. Vincent and a few other guys like him are fucking ghosts. Nobody even know what he looked like until now...
-What are you gonna do?
-...this snitch of yours, what's his name, Ivan?
-Ivan Petrov. Supposed to meet me for dinner, never shows up. I come here, find this.
-You guys been holding hands?
-Months now. He's been feeding me information on Dmitri.
-Dmitri <u>Gusunov?</u> What the fuck, why? Forget about Dimitri, Feds are all over him. They're a heartbeat away from taking him down. Word's gone out, they don't want us anywhere near him...
-Oh, we working for the Feds now? If my snitch flew out a window, he's got Dmitri's handprints on his ass. That makes it homicide, that makes it ours.
-There was a car here, you can see where the glass came down all around it. Ivan flew out the window and went bam.
-Remember that thing a few years back? That thing with the cab?
-What thing?
-Cabbie drove around all night. Three people got killed.
-Oh, right. The guy flipped out or something? Killed some people, then put a gun to his own head?
-They found him dead in his own cab down by the Port Authority.
-So? It was a random thing.
-I never bought that.
-Oh?
-...yeah, I'm still at Bellevue. The John Doe didn't pan out, but you'll never guess who's lying up in the meat locker.
-Elvis?
-Joey Cicerno. Dear friend and associate of my missing snitch, Ivan Petrov. Both of whom were in bed with Dmitri.
-Jesus. Two in one night?
-Something big's going down, and I'm betting the Feds don't know about it. You gotta get us in there.
-Captain Walt Muldoon, NYPD.
-What if they're wrong?
-Not our call, Phil.
-...if they're wrong?!
-Why didn't you tell me we had company? And what's your name?
-Happy to meet you, Mrs. Rilke.
-I was with Max when he got the call.
-And you came all the way down here to see me?
-It's nothing.
-Tell my son. You have to hold a gun to his head to get him to come see me.
-Client? I like to think of myself as more of a friend. A mentor.
-I'm sure you're very proud of Max.
-Quite an achievement...
-What's your name?
-I'm in town for a short time.
-Try?
-Hi, Ma.
-I've been calling and calling.
-I got caught up at work.
-You couldn't pick up a phone? I'm lying here, wondering if something horrible happened...
-I brought you flowers.
-What am I gonna do with flowers?
-You're gonna cheer up.
-By worrying about you spending money on foolish things? So I can watch them wilt?
-You paid for my flowers? They're beautiful. Max, you gonna introduce us?
-I'm...in...the...room, here. Don't talk about me like I'm not in the room.
-What's he sayin'?
-I'm standing right here.
-I came to see you, you look fine. We gotta go.
-Oh. Oh, thank God, hey! Hey, guys, hey, help me out here!
-Yo, whassup?
-You're kidding me.
-I'll fuck you up, you don't hand it over.
-...oh God, don't shoot me...
-I know you're out there! Answer the goddamn call!
-He's not paying you one cent!
-Vincent <u>Farrell</u>, Assistant U.S. Attorney. A passenger in this taxicab, and I'm reporting you to the DMV...
-Let's not get excited, sir.
-How am I supposed to not get excited, listening to you trying to extort your employee, you sarcastic prick?
-I was just tryin' to...to...
-Max? Maaax. Pick up, dipshit.
-Jesus, what is with this guy?
-You hassling my driver again?
-Who is this?
-Same fare you talked to last time. The U.S. Attorney...
-What are you guys, taking an all-night tour?
-We're gay lovers, what's it to you?
-Nothin'! Aside from Max's mother driving me crazy, I'm dancin' on a rainbow! Get him on the line, please.
-He'll keep calling.
-Uh, yeah? Lenny? It's me.
-Yeah? So?
-<u>So?</u> Aside from I hate talking to cops, they tell me you crashed the shit out of it.
-It got crashed! I didn't...
-Yeah?
-...why is everything always about you...
-...everything is not about me, don't make me the villain here. That asshole was out of line, and you goddamn well know it...
-...I'm sorry, I don't see it that way...
-...oh, bullshit! He was intruding on my space, he was demeaning me personally, he was patronizing...
-...what do you want me to do, punch him out? I have to work with him...
-Hello?
-Uh, let's go to... Hello...?
-How long you think this'll take?
-Twenty-four minutes.
-Twenty-four? Not twenty-five? Or twenty-three?
-Mind if I time you? What do I get if you're wrong? A free ride?
-First time in New York?
-Third, but I still can't tell uptown from downtown. Tell the truth, whenever I'm here, I can't wait to leave. Place gets to me. Too loud, too fast...too much. You like it here?
-It's home.
-You share it with over three million people every day. You know that's the population of New Zealand? What's Manhattan, thirteen miles long? That's a lot of misery crammed into thirteen miles. Read about this one guy. Gets on the subway and dies. Six hours he's riding around before anybody notices. Think about that. Here's this corpse doing laps around Manhattan courtesy of the
-You know, this is the cleanest cab I've ever been in. This your regular ride?
-Yeah. I share it with the dayshift guy.
-You prefer nights?
-People are more relaxed. Less stress, less traffic, better tips.
-You on some kind of work plan?
-You mean like benefits?
-Yeah. Retirement? Paid sick leave?
-It's not that kind of job.
-You should start a union.
-Me, specifically?
-Why not?
-Last thing I need is a reason to keep hacking. This job's a fill-in.
-Oh? How long you been doing this?
-Twelve years. But I'm working on other stuff...
-Like what?
-I don't talk about it, you know... No offense.
-Twenty-four minutes! Man, you're hot...
-Yeah. Lucky with the lights.
-Bullshit. You probably know the light schedules, too. Listen, I'm in town tonight on a closing. Five stops, one night. I gotta catch a six a.m. flight. I got five stops to make, see some friends, collect some signatures. Why don't you hang with me?
-I'm not a hire car. It's against regs?
-Regulations? These guys don't even give you sick leave. How much you pull down on a good night?
-Two, two-fifty.
-We have a deal. What's your name?
-Max.
-He fell on my cab! From up th-th-there.
-You always stutter?
-I think he's dead.
-You - you killed him?
-You cool, Max? Say "I'm cool."
-You're cool.
-No. You say you're cool.
-Good. Help me out here.
-With what?
-You were going to drive me around. Drop me at LAX. Never be the wiser. But El Gordo missed the elevator. So we go to Plan B. Pop the trunk.
-The trunk?
-I'm gonna roll him off the hood. Always lift with your legs...
-I don't think I can do this.
-Got it?
-What?
-His hand moved! His goddamn hand twitched!
-Uh, look...why don't you just take the car...
-Max. May we leave the scene of the crime now, please.
-Max.
-You listening to me?
-Yes! I'm trying, I swear!
-Try harder. I'm gonna count to three. One...
-Two...
-What about that?
-I tried it.
-How about the thingy next to it?
-The thingy next to it has nothing to do with the starter motor...
-I'm making <u>you</u> nervous. I'm the one with a schedule.
-Try some deep breathing.
-What?
-You better?
-What are you doing?
-It's a mess.
-58th and Central. You know it?
-South Central.
-Oh. Oh, no. You're kidding. We...
-I told you we had other stops to make tonight.
-You said you were visiting friends!
-They're <u>somebody's</u> friends... You drive a cab. I kill people. We both do our jobs right, you might survive the night and come out four hundred bucks ahead.
-Listen. I'm not trying to piss you off, see? Okay? I can't drive you around so you can murder folks.
-Tonight it is.
-Are you breathing?
-Yes.
-Music.
-Chopin prelude. Stodgy, but nice. Here's the deal. I didn't want you involved in this. Still breathing? But now that you are, we have to make the best of it, Max. Improvise. Life is that way. Adapt to your environment. Survive. Darwin. "Shit happens." The I Ching. Whatever. Roll with it.
-I Ching? You threw a man out a window!
-I didn't throw him, he fell.
-What'd he do to you?
-Nothing. I only met him the one time.
-How can you kill him like that?
-I should only kill people after I get to know 'em? Six billion people on the planet, you're getting bent out of shape 'cause of one fat guy?
-Who was he?
-What do you care? Ever hear of Rwanda?
-Rwanda-Burundi. Central Africa.
-I don't know any Rwandans.
-You don't know the guy in the trunk, either. If it makes you feel better, he was a villain involved in a Continuing Criminal Enterprise.
-Oh, it's okay, then. 'Cause you're just taking out the garbage...
-Get rid of 'em.
-How?
-Please. Don't do anything.
-Then don't let me get cornered, Max. You don't have the trunk space.
-I can't believe this.
-I'll talk to them, I'll talk to them.
-That one's probably married. Think of his kids. His wife's pregnant...
-Hands on the wheel. Ten and two o'clock, like they taught you in driver's ed.
-Why?
-Who's that?
-It was an accident. You're not liable. Tell him.
-Don't take that. Tell him to shut the fuck up.
-I can't do that. He's the Man. He'll fire my ass.
-So what?
-I need the job.
-Lenny? You're an asshole.
-Tell him next time he pulls any shit, you're gonna kick his fat ass.
-I had no idea these cabs came equipped with emergency strobes. Where's the button? Under the dash?
-Another collateral.
-What?
-Collateral damage.
-I don't understand...
-Vincent?
-Yes, Max?
-But, hey, some good news. This last one put me way ahead of schedule. We've actually got some time to kill. Jazz? You like jazz?
-I'm...what? Sorry?
-Jazz. Music.
-I listen to classical.
-...see now, this has got a little post- war flavor, a little Miles thing happening. Awesome. What do you think?
-I never learned jazz.
-God, are you always this prosaic? You don't learn jazz, it's not something you're <u>taught.</u> It's like breathing, like life. Like us, tonight, taking what comes and going with the flow.
-That what we're doing? Flowing?
-Damn right. Instinct, man. If you think too much, it doesn't work. Just listen...
-I'm not catching a melody.
-Let him go, Vincent.
-You mind? I'm working here.
-You're the one who keeps talking about going with the flow. You like the man, you like the way he plays. How about a little jazz, huh?
-Let's go.
-No.
-What you mean, no?
-Max? What are you doing?
-Leave me alone.
-Don't even think you're walking away from me.
-Pull your head out of your ass. Get your thinking straight. You wanna die?
-I'm collateral anyway, so just fucking do it and stop making me a part of this!
-Teach him how to talk back, suddenly he can't stop. I'm not playing.
-Show up for what?
-Show up for <u>what?</u>
-She's in the hospital.
-You go every night?
-What difference does it make?
-Guy with a routine goes and breaks it? Provokes attention. That's bad. And that's not good...
-Mom, Vincent's not interested.
-You take one more step, I'll kill her.
-What the fuck was <u>that?</u>
-Limos, huh?
-Don't start.
-Hey, I'm not the one who's been lying to my mother.
-She hears what she wants to hear, okay?
-Maybe so. Maybe she hears what you tell her.
-Fuck! Nothing's ever goddamn good enough! It's always been that way.
-It's cause they don't like their lives, so they project their patterns of negative behavior onto you... I had a father like that.
-Yeah? What happened?
-He hated everything I did. Hated me. Got drunk and beat the shit out of me, daily...
-What happened?
-I killed him. When I was 15. He was my first. Nah, wishful thinking. Liver cancer.
-I'm sorry.
-Don't be. I never saw him after I was 15. Went into the military early. So all this talk about "my job's temporary, I got big plans," it's all bullshit.
-It's not bullshit.
-What do <u>you</u> call it? Ten years doesn't sound temporary to me. I should have known it was bullshit, you're too good at what you do.
-I've always been good. Ever since I started. Gave up piano. Easy money. I'm putting a stake together, get something started. Go figure it all out...
-Yeah? Like what? Limos?
-I told you I don't like to talk about it.
-Well, this big stake's got to be big by now. When you leaving?
-See, I've got bills. My mother's been dying of the same disease since I was a kid.
-What, no insurance?
-Doesn't cover everything.
-Gimme your wallet.
-I'll just hold onto it for you. In case they check.
-Our friends in Little Russia. Go in and ask for a man named Dmitri.
-Dmitri?
-The man who hired me for this contract.
-I don't get it.
-You're gonna be me. You're gonna go in, and you're gonna get the info on the remaining two hits.
-Why me? Why don't <u>you</u> do it?
-No client has ever seen my face, and I intend to keep it that way. Besides, if he decides to put a bullet in my head, I don't wanna be there for it.
-He's gonna <u>shoot</u> me?
-When he finds out you tossed his list? I would.
-No. No way. I can't do this.
-Max. You threw my briefcase in the river. You've got balls bigger than Toledo.
-I...I wasn't thinking. I just did it.
-Vincent. Don't make me do this. Don't make me get people killed.
-How long have you been a hit man?
-Why?
-In case he asks.
-Fifteen years, although I prefer the term "assassin."
-You get benefits?
-No.
-Paid sick leave?
-Damn, Max. I'm impressed. Really. I would have bet good money you wouldn't walk out of there.
-Washington and Holt. Dance club called "Fever." Know it?
-Tribeca, near the waterfront, northeast corner. Twelve minutes.
-Would you have called her?
-Who?
-Your lady friend. The one who gave you her business card. Think she was just being polite?
-I don't know.
-What holds you back, Max? Tell me. Why does life scare you so much?
-I only owe you a ride, Vincent.
-Good. Blood, urine and death get to you? Try deep breathing. Or remember we all die anyway...
-You had to kill Heller?!
-Who's Heller?
-That cop! Why'd you have to do that? You couldn't wound him? The guy had a family, maybe, parents, kids who gotta grow up without a dad, he was probably a good guy; and he believed me...
-I shoulda saved him 'cause he <u>believed</u> you?
-No, not just that.
-Yeah, that.
-Yeah, so, what's wrong with that?
-It's what I do for a living.
-Some living.
-Head towards Union Station.
-What's at Union Station?
-How are you at math? I was hired for five hits. I did four.
-One more.
-There you go...!
-Whyn't you kill me and find another cab.
-You're too good. We're in this together. Fates intertwined. Cosmic coincidence and all that crap...
-You're full of shit.
-<u>I'm</u> full of shit? You're a monument of bullshit. You even bullshitted yourself all I am, is taking out the garbage. Bad guys killing bad guys...
-That's what you said...
-And you believe me...?
-What'd they do?
-How do I know? But, they all got that "witnesses for the prosecution" look to me. Probably some major federal indictment against somebody who majorly does not want to get indicted... I dunno.
-That's the reason?
-That's the "why." That's the why? There is no reason. No good reason; no bad reason. To live or to die.
-Then what are you?
-Get with it. Get over it. ...millions of galaxies of hundreds of millions of stars and a speck on one in a blink...that's us. Lost in space. The universe doesn't care. The cop, you, me? Who notices?
-What happened to you?
-As in...?
-Man, if someone had a gun to your head and said: "You gotta tell me what's goin' on with that person over there or I'll kill you"...they'd have to kill you... 'Cause you don't have a clue for...or about...anyone... To be like that, I don't think you, you have any of that for your own life... Do you believe you're entitled or at least
-...all the cabbies in LA, I pull Max, the man with X-ray vision...
-Answer the question.
-Look in the mirror. ...piss-ant paper towels...a bottle of 409...saving up for goin' to the Comoros. How much you got saved?
-None of your business.
-'Cause I never got it straightened up; made the push, made the moves...
-Slow down.
-You're going too fast.
-Slow the hell down!
-What are you gonna do, pull the trigger? Kill us? Go ahead, man! <u>Shoot</u>...my ass.
-Slow down!
-Well. That was brilliant.
-Max?
-What happened?
-They said send you downstairs.
-Who?
-The F.B.I., the C.I.A. You name the initials and they're down there.
-Any special reason?
-The sound of love.
-That's love.
-Love? Love's just a pretty way of saying, 'I want to sleep with you'. Love is bullshit.
-Love gives you wings. It makes you fly. I don't even call it love. I call it Geronimo.
-Geronimo?
-Geronimo. When you're really in love, you'll jump. Off the top of the Empire State. Screaming 'Geronimo' the whole way down.
-But you'll die. You'll squash yourself. What's the point?
-She must be some girl.
-I never told her.
-Why the hell not?
-Are you crazy?!
-The guy came right at us!
-I was only going one way.
-Drop me off here!
-Look, I'm sorry --
-What're you thinking, Jerry?
-Water mains usually go in the winter. It's August 1st.
-Tell you what. Reminds me of life in the Delta.
-Mississippi?
-Mekong, my friend, Mekong.
-You know, Flip, Vietnam War was fought because of a bet Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle Onasis.
-Sure. And the two of 'em used my legs for a wishbone. Nearly snapped me in half.
-<u>Jerry</u>? You didn't show last night. First time ever. Had me worried, boy.
-Saved you last night's, too.
-Flip was a hero in Vietnam.
-Flip. You're the closest thing I got to a friend around here. Tell me something. You think I'm crazy?
-I don't see the connection.
-Come on! Six major earthquakes in the last three years? The space shuttle in orbit for every one of them?
-Testing some top secret seismic weapon.
-I still don't see what it has to do with the President.
-Do you still ride?
-Not for years.
-So why do you keep the picture up? You wish you hadn't quit?
-The President's in Europe. Tomorrow he'll be in Turkey. Right along this fault line. They launched the space shuttle yesterday.
-Motive?
-He's cutting funding for NASA. The milk cow of the aerospace industry. We're talking billions. Motive enough?
-<u>NASA</u> is going to kill the President of the United States with an earthquake.
-You going to warn him?
-I can't promise you anything.
-You think I'm crazy.
-I think you're different.
-You know, to be 'normal' and live in the 'real world,' to swallow Coca cola and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken, you have to be in a conspiracy <u>against yourself</u>. I can't lie to me, Liza. And the more I strip through the sham, the crazier I look to people like you. Can't you see that's what they're counting on? You want to go out
-I better get going.
-What was your horse's name?
-Johnny Dancer. You've been in my office ten times. How come you never asked me about that picture before?
-I bit the bastard's nose off.
-You bit someone's nose off?
-It's a man without a nose you want, you dumb complicit sons of bitches! You've got to listen to me.
-Put down the gun and I'll take your statement. Okay?
-What's the charge?
-Just relax.
-Switch the charts.
-Switch 'em. Or I'll be dead by morning. Don't want to be dead.
-Hey... I can't control it. It's just, something that happened.
-What is?
-People do have heart attacks.
-It's okay. The guy traded bullets with some old man in a liquor store. He had it coming.
-You expect me to believe what, that someone came in here last night. Gave that guy... something that stopped his heart?
-You switched the charts; you tell me.
-I got to get downstairs. The C.I.A., they want to see your body.
-I won't be here when you get back, but I'll be in touch. And thanks.
-For what?
-You saved my life.
-He says a dog bit his nose.
-Arf... You gotta help me.
-Lucky guess... Um, I'd feel a lot less naked if we could get outta here.
-Don't tell me you're naked back there.
-What took so long? You were in there all day.
-That's how long it takes to turn a hospital inside out. A lot of people are after you, Jerry.
-Dead or alive, they'll stick me in there with Oswald. Another lunatic acting alone,
-Oswald was an assassin. You're not an assassin, are you, Jerry?
-If you're worried about the President, call and warn him about the Space Shuttle.
-Right. Sit up so I can see you.
-Uh uh, don't want <u>them</u> to see me.
-Them who?
-Flat, wraparound headlights?
-Yeah.
-Crown Victoria. F.B.I. car. A legitimate tail.
-As opposed to?
-People more serious about their work. You know how to drive this thing or do you just like looking good in it?
-You mean I should speed up and try and lose them?
-Yes.
-That's how a man would do it. I'm not a man.
-See? Wasn't that a lot easier than squealing tires and knocking over trash cans?
-Nothing is easy.
-How long have we known each other, Jerry?
-Six months. Eleven days.
-You have the right to ask me certain personal questions?
-Nothing scary there. Sorry.
-More about life on Mars. From a rock they <u>found</u> on the South Pole. Explain that one to me. But maybe we should go to Mars and find out? How much do you think that's going to cost?
-What is it with you and the space program?
-Well that's the eye right there. <u>Money</u>. And all the power and misery it brings with it. It's a plot to take over the world. The Master Conspiracy. Can take a lifetime to pull off.
-That's it?
-So why are they after you?
-I'm not sure. I think I figured something out. It must've been in my newsletter.
-So I'm a little jumpy. Who wouldn't be?
-You're certifiable.
-You wouldn't be sitting here if you didn't halfway believe me.
-You okay?
-You know why the Grateful Dead are always on tour?
-Surprise me.
-You want something to drink?
-If my universe had a hub...
-Equitation.
-I've been reading up on it.
-Here it is. <u>Conspiracy Theory</u> It just went out Tuesday. Third issue this year. I bet I struck a nerve. Pissed someone off.
-'The Space Shuttle's Seismic Secret'. 'The Oliver Stone-George Bush Connection'. Oliver Stone?
-Stone is their spokesman. You think if someone really had all that information and a national podium to shout it out from that they'd let him do it? Stone's a disinformation flunky. The face that he's alive says it all.
-Can you prove any of this?
-'On July 8, 1979, security forces under control of the Trilateral Commission abducted the fathers of all American Nobel Prize winners. The men, many of them octogenarians, were forced at gunpoint to ejaculate into small plastic bottles. The sperm collected is now under study in a laboratory beneath the headquarters of the Rand Corporation in Santa Monica, California.'
-Pretty scary, huh?
-Yeah... how many subscribers do you have?
-Just five. It's the economy... You think maybe one of them is not who they seem?
-You're a Holden Caulfield fan.
-Who?
-Holden Caulfield? <u>Catcher in the</u> <u>Rye</u>?
-Never heard of him.
-You have ten copies of the book, but you don't know who the main character is?
-What are you doing?
-Was that who I thought it was?
-Uh huh.
-Has this happened to you before?
-Never, but I've been practicing.
-Who are you, Jerry?
-You gave me an hour; now give me a day.
-Jerry, there's something I have to ask you. Actually about a hundred things, but we can make progress, if you answer one question. To my satisfaction.
-Shoot.
-It was that painting. The one on the wall.
-I didn't mean for you to see it. It's like looking in someone's diary and taking it out of context. Know what I mean?
-It made me feel like you could see inside of me. And I don't know how that's possible.
-So what's the question?
-I'll give you 100 bucks if you leave right now.
-Is this your dad?
-That was him.
-Is he dead?
-Please put it down.
-How'd he die?
-He's why you punish yourself.
-Not this again.
-You run with your back to the picture. Like you were trying to get away. Once in awhile you sing along with music, but mostly you punish yourself.
-Johnny Dancer, right? You don't ride him anymore, do you? Not since your dad died.
-Did you see the van back there?
-What van?
-Never mind. You'd think I was making it up.
-Where'd you get your subscribers?
-I put an ad on a computer bulletin board. I log on at the library so I can't be traced.
-Well, I've been tracking them down all morning.
-You haven't been bothering them, have you?
-They're dead. Four out of five anyhow. All in the last 24 hours. One car accident, two heart attacks and a stroke.
-Jesus... It's my fault. They drew a black line over me and now I'm passing it on. I'm passing it to you, too.
-I'll be fine. Let's worry about Henry Finch. P.O. Box in St. Louis. He's the last on the list. I haven't been able to reach him yet.
-Maybe you better not try... I worked so hard to keep quiet. Like a mouse. I should have realized.
-Realized what?
-Elaborate on 'they,' okay?
-There are all kinds of groups, all kinds of initials. But they're all part of two warring factions. One: families that have held wealth for centuries. They want one thing. Stability. Group Two: the boat rockers. Eisenhower's military industrial complex. They want instability. It's a trillion dollar a year business. When there isn't a hot war, they make a cold one.
-Cold War's over, Jerry.
-So now they feed us terrorists. <u>To create fear</u>. How much do you think an airport security system goes for? Then multiply it by every airport in the country.
-And you think Group One is at war with Group Two.
-Latest casualty? Ernest Harriman. You heard of him?
-Sure. One of the richest men in America until he died a few days ago.
-His obituary was in every paper. But not one of them said he was murdered.
-Murdered?
-Right here in Manhattan.
-It said in the paper he drowned in a swimming pool. <u>In Newport</u>.
-Nobody dies in Newport. They couldn't even kill Sunny von Bulow there. Harriman drowned, but it wasn't in Newport.
-Right here. In the 7th Street subway station.
-What was he doing down here? A billionaire waiting for the subway? Why not drown him in a bus? Why drown him at all? Why not shoot him? Is the hitman from the lost world of Atlantis? I mean, come on.
-I see the big picture and you stumble around in the details.
-They're big details, Jerry.
-Do you watch the news? Read the paper. Last week, this whole place was underwater.
-A water main broke.
-They don't break in the summer! Do you know what building is right over this spot? Harriman Tower. Their sub-basement was flooded! He didn't die in a pool. Call the coroner in Rhode Island! Ask if the water in his lungs was chlorinated!
-Okay, I will.
-You will?
-I don't know what to say. I love you.
-I -- It's like, I resolve to call you up 1000 times a day. To ask you if you'll marry me in some old-fashioned way. Everything you do is magic.
-Those are song lyrics, Jerry.
-I know that. I'm just -- I'm nervous. I reached out and grabbed the first thing out there. I know they're song lyrics. And I know how I feel.
-I like you, Jerry. A lot.
-Oh, Christ, here it comes. Look, I know you think I'm crazy. I don't think I am, but...
-Jerry, I --
-What if I reached a point where you didn't think I was crazy anymore? If I was normal.
-If you were eating Kentucky Fried Chicken and drinking Coca-Cola again.
-Yeah... Would you, I mean, could you love me then? If I was normal. Maybe?
-You're wrong. Since I met you, I don't dream about holes anymore.
-Holes? I don't know what you're talking about.
-Yesterday you were wondering about the wall. How it was possible.
-Now's not really the time to get into this --
-Answer me. Was the first time you saw me the first time I saw you? Was it? You've been following me around. Do you see how that could be disconcerting to me? That's not love, Jerry. It's obsession. And it isn't normal and you can't expect me to respond to it and you can't expect me to feel the same way. Can you?
-I would never hurt you, Liza. Think whatever you want, but don't think that.
-I don't. I know you wouldn't.
-You look great.
-Are you okay? I wish I hadn't told you what I did. But I can't help the way I feel. You don't hold that against me, do you?
-No. That wouldn't be fair. Where are we going, Jerry?
-What is it?
-We're going to Queens?
-Now what?
-After you. It's okay. I'm the one who left it here.
-Where are we going, Jerry?
-Connecticut.
-What about them?
-How come serial killers have two names, but lone gunman assassins have three. John <u>Wilkes</u> Booth. Mark <u>David</u> Chapman. Lee <u>Harvey</u> Oswald.
-John Hinkley. The guy who shot Reagan. He only had two names.
-My father's house.
-How do you really know there's gold in Fort Knox? Just because they say so? We should go to Tennessee and demand to see it.
-Liza?
-Did you kill him?
-Is that what they told you?
-Then why did you have his picture in your safe deposit box?
-He gave it to me.
-I don't understand.
-Where were you the day he died?
-At a horse show.
-That's the last time you rode, isn't it? Do you think it was your fault? Is that why?
-Did you kill my father?!
-Jerry. Please. You don't understand. I have to know. It's all I think about. Do you have any idea what it's like not to know?
-Yeah. I know what it's like.
-Then tell me what happened.
-Can't give you the details because I can't remember. I went to court to kill him. At the Ezekiel Walters hearing. I was supposed to shoot him at the press conference. You were there. That's the first time I saw you.
-Love at first sight?
-I don't know what it was. All I know is I had a gun in my hand, but when I saw you standing with him, I couldn't do it. If that's love, it's not so bad. I found a part of myself that day. I couldn't go back.
-Back where?
-Someone else might call it stalking. My dad felt it. He started carrying a gun.
-He kept it in the side table in the front hallway. He showed me. I visited a few times. Then one of Jonas's guys visited. When I arrived, your dad was dying.
-Why? What do these guys have to do with Ezekiel Walters?
-Walters was their fall guy. Blow up a building and blame a nut. Create fear. Don't you see? Your father wasn't trying to keep Walters in prison. He was looking into getting him out. He didn't believe the official story.
-<u>Why not, Jerry</u>?
-How'd you get the picture?
-I believe you.
-You got to get out of here. My cell phone's on. Back in the truck.
-They'll trace it.
-I'm sorry.
-Blue moon... Blue moon...
-Blue moon...
-Without a song in my heart.
-Blue moon...
-Liza?
-How did you know?
-Get in. I'll pull you up to the fourth floor.
-What about you?
-Geronimo is down.
-It's up. Love gives you wings. You can fly away from here.
-Don't die on me, Jerry. Okay?
-You've been my best friend for years and I didn't even know you were out there.
-They changed Franklin's portrait.
-You think it's a conspiracy?
-I love you, too.
-Do I know you?
-I'm a very patient man.
-That's great. Good for you.
-Who have you been talking to, Jerry? Who else knows what you know?
-What's that?
-We've arranged for you to take the blame. Everyone knows how you've been harassing the poor girl.
-<u>Liza</u>!
-You shouldn't watch, Jerry. It's a moment without hope.
-Liza Sutton is dead.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome. Where's my partner?
-I like that. A gun to your head and you ask about your partner. He's okay. May have a headache for a few days. Are you here with honorable intentions?
-I'm not sure what you mean.
-You should think of me as Liza Sutton's guardian angel.
-That's ironic. Because we're here to protect her from you.
-You're here because you figured I might show up.
-It seemed like a possibility. What about your intentions? Are they honorable?
-I'm not a violent man, Mr. Lowry. Not by nature, anyhow. But if you hurt Liza in any way, I'll kill you. Does that seem honorable?
-You made your decision yet?
-I'm leaning toward no.
-I'll do it. On one condition. I want to make sure she's okay.
-We got someone watching her 24 hours a day. She --
-That's not what I mean. I want to see her.
-I don't know...
-Then screw you. I'll rot.
-Alright. You can see her. But she can't see you.
-Can I ask you something?
-A dog bit it.
-Excuse me?
-You were going to ask about my nose. The poor animal is slated to be destroyed today.
-And you feel bad for it?
-So he thinks NASA is plotting to kill the President?
-You already asked me that. Why do you insist on making me repeat myself?
-And you have no idea where he lives?
-You've asked me that one three times.
-Here's a fresh one. Why you? Your colleague Mr. Wilson says Jerry won't speak to anyone else. That seems oddly possessive behavior to me.
-I'm sorry. What was the question again?
-<u>Why you</u>?
-Honestly? I think he has a crush on me.
-A charming term. Now, <u>why him</u>?
-Excuse me?
-Jerry's visits to your office. Why do you tolerate them? Why him?
-Veritas. Truth. What is it they say about truth?
-The truth shall make you free.
-That's it. I went to Yale. I hope you won't hold that against me.
-I didn't know the C.I.A. had psychiatrists.
-We're very specialized.
-Brain washing, mind control, that sort of thing?
-If you're as impressed to see me as I am to see you, you're very impressed indeed. How's Jerry feeling this morning?
-Fine. What the hell is going on?
-What I'm about to tell you is partially documented. The Freedom of Information Act saw to that. But much more of it isn't. For reasons which will soon be regrettably clear, I'm going to share -- secrets -- with you. Repeat any of it and you'll simply bestow the title of 'paranoid' upon yourself.
-Years ago, I worked for the C.I.A. in the M.K. ULTRA program. Are you familiar with it?
-It was mind control. <u>Manchurian</u> <u>Candidate</u> kind of stuff, right?
-A vulgar pop term, but yes. Take an ordinary man and turn him into an assassin. That was our goal.
-Ask what you can do for your country. That kind of thing.
-M.K. ULTRA was terminated in 1973. But not the research. It was renamed. EX CATCHER.
-As in <u>Catcher in the Rye</u>?
-We experimented with hallucinogens. We used electro- shock to produce a vegetative state. We conducted terminal experiments in sensory deprivation.
-Terminal?
-As in 'resulting in death.' We pushed the envelope until it wasn't even an envelope anymore.
-If I had any idea what to charge you with or how to prove it, I'd arrest you right here.
-Me? I was a minor missionary, a heretic really. But where else could a red-blooded American boy lie, cheat, steal and kill with the sanction and blessings of the All-Highs? Besides, now I'm trying to pay my penance.
-Missionary? Penance? You talk about it like it was a religion.
-Jerry told me he bit your nose.
-And what did I say?
-A dog.
-<u>My dog</u>. One I intend to put to sleep. Extrapolate from there.
-These things you're talking about. You did them to Jerry?
-I'm still listening.
-Jerry is dangerous. Jerry has killed --
-Belief is immaterial. What's important is the truth... It's been my job to find Jerry. I'm very much responsible for him.
-If this was a spy novel, your next words would be something like I now know too much to live. Why are you telling me all this?
-Where'd you get it?
-You do recognize it then?
-It was my father's. Kept it in his wallet. He was murdered --
-I know the story. A federal judge. He denied a man in prison an appeal for a new trial.
-Not a man. Ezekiel Walters.
-Walters had nothing to do with your father's murder.
-In Jerry's safety deposit box.
-It's okay. I'm game.
-So, you doing anything tonight?
-Working.
-Hmm, how about tomorrow night?
-Working.
-Night after that?
-Look, you're a nice guy, but I'm not really dating right now.
-I'm not that good at 'no,' Liza.
-Liza, settle a bet for us.
-Federal Bureau of Investigation.
-I need to speak with an Agent Lowry.
-The office is closed for the evening. Is this an emergency?
-Yes.
-Go ahead, Miss Sutton.
-Ah, your psychotic is here.
-Tell him I'm on vacation. That I won't be back for two weeks.
-I've been given a cease and desist on all matters relating to Jerry Fletcher. We're not to discuss him with the press, the N.Y.P.D., anyone. Building police are to arrest him on sight and we're to report any attempt he makes to contact you.
-This doesn't make sense.
-It makes perfect sense. Field work is not our oeuvre.
-I don't like it. Something's wrong.
-Dr. Jonas thought you might be inclined not to cooperate. Why is that?
-We don't know who Jonas is. We don't know who it is we're cooperating with.
-I've had a lot of credentials flashed in my face, Liza. What I saw yesterday, I know not to ask questions. We're out. Shut off. Terminated. <u>Understood</u>?
-Go to the northeast corner. Call a cab. Bring the pizza. Then there's a poem. Roses are red, violets are blue, if the Pope goes to Washington, I would, too.
-We're waiting for jurisdictional problems to be cleared up. This guy Fletcher's something else.
-Tell me about it.
-While we walk. D.C. police want him for assault. Secret Service for counterfeiting and we're tracking him on a string of bank robberies. No one knows what the C.I.A. wants him for.
-Guy's a C.I.A. shrink. Here to I.D. Fletcher. They knew each other somehow.
-Which way did he go?
-That's the book Hinkley had on him when he shot Reagan.
-You're welcome! Spooks. So, you want to compare notes on this guy.
-Agent Lowry.
-Wasn't my idea.
-Jonas?
-When I'm ready to compare notes, I'll let you know.
-Can I talk to you a second?
-Do you believe me?
-Yeah, I do.
-I want to believe you, too.
-Who's the Deputy Director of the F.B.I.?
-What gave me away?
-I'm, it really doesn't matter. Think C.I.A. and exponentiate. I'm a government employee and I've been watching Jerry for awhile.
-And Jonas?
-He's why I watch Jerry. Jerry's the bait for Jonas.
-He's shown himself. Why haven't you arrested him or killed him or done whatever it is you do?
-Jonas builds assassins for a living. Several of whom may be in place already. We'd like to kill a few birds with one stone.
-Where do you think Jerry is?
-No idea. Honest. What are you going to do?
-I'm going to find him. Because he'd find me.
-Don't go home. And don't go to work. Either one could be bad.
-What do you suggest?
-That you come with me.
-What?
-I'm not sure. We have no launch protocol; the entry of the passenger is supposed to initiate activation.
-We have benzel activation, repeat, we have benzel activation. Control to Arroway, you okay in there? Repeat, Control to Arroway, come back.
-We've lost contact.
-Pull the plug. Get her out of there.
-There's no plug to pull.
-What?
-... And this is how the extraterrestrial presented himself to you? As your father?
-Yes, sir.
-He died... ... in 1972.
-Yes, sir.
-Is it possible...?
-You don't believe it to be... tell me something, Doctor. Why do you think they would go to all this trouble... bring you tens of thousands of light years, and then send you home without a shred of proof? Sort of bad form, wouldn't you say? What was their intent?
-Dr. Arroway --
-Michael Kitz, National Security Advisor.
-Mike, because of the Earth's rotation we're only in line with Vega so many hours a day; the only way to get the whole message is to cooperate with other stations. If Dr. Arroway hadn't moved quickly we could have lost key elements.
-Hope there's a cartoon.
-What in the hell...?
--- Or 'you're our kind of people --'
-Now I remember why I went into theoretical work. Kent.
-Glad to have you, David. How's the new office?
-Nothing. Okay. Some of us have been a little... not concerned, exactly, but...
-Tell me.
-Last week, about 3 A.M., Fish -- Dr. Fisher -- was on a late shift, and he found her doing laundry.
-So?
-I'm sorry, Miss Arroway, not only is it too Speculative a subject for a doctoral dissertation, at this point in your career it'd be tantamount to suicide.
-I'm willing to take that risk.
-I'm not. You're far too promising a scientist to waste your considerable gifts on this nonsense --
-Dr. Drumlin, we are talking about what could potentially be the most important discovery in the history of humanity. There are over four hundred billion stars out there --
-And only two probabilities: One: there is intelligent life in the universe but they're so far away you'll never contact it in your lifetime --
-You're --
-Two: There's nothing out there but noble gasses and carbon compounds and you'd be wasting your time.
-What if you're wrong? No -- I'll grant you probabilities but as a scientist without all the evidence -- you can't deny the possibility -- and I believe even the remotest possibility of something this profoundly... profound is worth investigation -- and worth taking a few risks.
-I disagree.
-Pepsi? Tequila?
-Peter sends his regards.
-Oh? How's he doing?
-Very well; since my appointment he's been made interim director.
-Really? Congratulations, by the way.
-I'm surprised you even knew it was an election year.
-'President's Science Advisor' -- so what, you just spend all your time jetting around on Air Force One now...?
-Now exactly. It's... complicated.
-No doubt.
-Ellie...
-Did I tell you we've expanded the search spectrum? We're including several other possible magic frequencies -- not just the hydrogen line anymore. I was trying to get inside their heads, y'know? And I started thinking, what other constants are there in the Universe besides hydrogen, and then suddenly it was so obvious -- transcendantals, right? So we've been trying variations of pi...
-You know why I'm here.
-It's not enough having my search time systematically cut down -- you know I'm down to three hours a week now.
-Ellie, I should have done this a long time ago, certainly before I left the N.S.F., but I wanted to give you every benefit of the doubt --
-You can't just pull the plug, David.
-It's not like you've given me much choice.
-Meaning...
-Meaning I have to go defend a budget to the President and to Congress and you're out here listening to washing machines.
-I'm searching for patterns in the noise, that's all. Order in the chaos. I'm practicing listening --
-The point is, this isn't just scientific inquiry anymore -- it's turned into some kind of personal obsession.
-The difference being what -- that I refuse to adopt the standard line, that I don't care about the results of my work? Well, I do care. Of course any discovery has to be verifiable, of course it must be subject to all rigors of scientific method, but I refuse to go around pretending I'm some kind of dispassionate automaton when it's obvious to
-No... You're not. But the price has just gotten too high.
-Goddamnit, they are out there, David --
-Then why haven't you detected any signals? If, as you claim, there have been thousands, millions of advanced civilizations out there for millions of years then why hasn't one signal gotten through? It'll take a month or two for the paperwork to go through; you're welcome to stay until then.
-David --
-Mathematics is the only truly universal language, Senator. We think this may be a beacon -- an announcement to get our attention.
-If it's attention you want I'd say you've got it. Just one thing: Why Vega? Everyone's looked at Vega for years with no results, and now, yesterday, they start broadcasting primes. Why?
-... could it be a nested code of some sort?
-Throw a gray scale on it; standard interpolation.
-... Arrangements also have to be made for the V.I.P.s coming in, mostly religious leaders...
-What? Why?
-The theological ramifications of all this are obvious; the President feels we need to include religious interests rather than alienate them. She's also named Palmer Joss as their liaison; he's requested a meeting with you.
-With me.
-Apparently he's genuinely interested in science. This could be a chance to win him over.
-I'm going to convert Mr. Science-is- the-root-of-all-evil? This is absurd, David. We have work to do here, I don't have time to play babysitter to the God Squad.
-I want you to listen to me, carefully. The minute the implications of this message became clear, this stopped being simply a scientific matter and became a political one -- an extremely complex, extremely volatile one. There are forces at work here you don't understand; I can help you up to a point, but only up to a point.
-Are you threatening me?
-Ms. President, this is communist paranoia right out of War of the Worlds. There is no reason whatsoever to believe the ETIs intentions are hostile. We pose no threat to them -- it would be like us going out of our way to destroy microbes on a beach in Africa.
-What is it? What's happened?
-We've cracked it. Lunacharsky found it.
-You mean --
-David --
-Ellie.
-Do you have a minute -- ?
-Actually I'm running late --
-David... I know we've had our differences... but I've always thought of you as a fair man, even when we've disagreed -- and It's in that light I'm hoping you'll consider my request...
-I don't understand.
-I'm asking for your help, David. I want to go. They'll need someone relatively young, unattached -- and probably a scientist. As the President's Science Advisor you have enormous weight... I'm asking if you'll support my candidacy.
-Ellie... you should know that I'm no longer the President's Science Advisor.
-What?
-You...
-... Two years is still a hell of a long time -- and as far as we can tell there aren't any provisions in the machine design for storing food, water, even air...
-They knew our level of development. If, as you say, they've done this many times they'd be well aware of the implications.
-You aren't staying?
-This... seemed best.
-Right. Well.
-Ellie... we both know that if I was any kind of a man, I never would've entered this race. That I would have told the President straight out: Helen, Eleanor Arroway is naive and strident and an enormous pain in the ass... but she's got more courage and intelligence than the rest of us put together. That more then anyone else on the planet,
-What would you have me say, David?
-Nothing. I guess I just wanted to thank you.
-Thank you?
-What does it say?
-Because you cut it from the budget three years running.
-... And while its function remains, for the moment, a mystery, my best guess is that it represents a transport of some kind.
-Mr. Rank's organization represents the point of view of tens of millions of families, Dr. Arroway. Feel free to disagree, but there won't be any suppressing of opinions here today.
-What's the status of the decryption effort?
-Dr. Lunacharsky...?
-What...
-In ancient times when parchment was in short supply people would write over old writing... it was called a palimpsest.
-There's no way of knowing. Without a key -- a primer, to help us, maybe never.
-What?
-We've repeated. A few minutes ago the message cycled back to page one.
-And?
-No primer.
-How can that be?
-J39 Z186...?
-Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
-Got a bogey, boss?
-Hydrogen times pi... Got it. Strong sucker.
-That can't be right; it's only twenty-six light years away.
-How's the spying tonight, guys?
-Dr. Cullers?
-Kent, Kent for Chrissakes. You must be Eleanor.
-Ellie. Pulsar?
-1919+21. Found a glitch in the timing; probably a starquake.
-Here, right around Centaurus A.
-This is how you see the sky?
-It's how I hear it. The display's just a little something I programmed for astronomers with the misfortune of sight.
-It's beautiful.
-You've only searched -- what is it, sixteen hundred stars without a peep? Try not to take it too personally.
-Okay, let's just slow down. Pull up the starfield signal origin.
-Can't we get rid of them?
-I think we just hit the cosmic jackpot.
-I'll come right to the point, Doctor. Your sending this message all over the world may well be a breach of National Security.
-This isn't a person to person call, Mr. Kitz. I don't really think the civilization sending the message intended it just for Americans.
-I'm saying you might have consulted us; the contents of this message could be extremely sensitive...
--- which we'll also need the network's help to receive and decode!
-Colonel Jarrod, I'd like a twenty mile radio-silent perimeter put around this installation immediately.
-And a hundred mile airspace.
-Pardon me, but you can't do -- !
-If at some later date the message proves harmless, we can discuss sharing it with the rest of the world, but until then --
-... I don't understand it. All I can think is that maybe because the video gear wasn't accounted for in the original plans it somehow violated the integrity of the design.
-Is that your official response?
-There is no direct evidence, no.
-And current theory holds that to sustain the sort of wormholes you're talking about, even for a fraction of a second, would require more energy than our sun produces in a year, is that correct?
-I don't have the figures in front of me, but yes, that sounds about right.
-In fact, by all the laws of physics we know what you claim to have experienced is simply impossible.
-Please answer the question, Doctor.
-Is it possible. Yes. But --
-Thank you, Doctor. Now --
-So why don't you admit what by your own standards must be the truth: that this experience simply didn't happen.
-Small moves, Captain, small moves.
-I can't move any smaller.
-Talk to him.
-But what do I say?
-Could we hear to China?
-On that old shortwave? Maybe on a clear night. Come on now, under the covers.
-Could we hear to the moon?
-Big enough radio, I don't see why not.
-Could we hear God?
-Mmm, that's a good one. Maybe his echo... Okay, no more stalling.
-Pensacola.
-Time to sleep now, Captain. But you can ask more questions in the morning, okay?
-I used... I used to dream you were alive... and then I'd wake up and lose you all over again.
-I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, sweetheart.
-You're not real. None of this is.
-That's my scientist.
-So. Are you an hallucination? Or are little gear trains and circuit boards under your skin?
-Am I artifact or dream? You might ask that about anything.
-But you're so... I mean how could you possibly...? When I was unconscious. You... downloaded... my thoughts, my memories, even... This beach. I've never been here but I remember... it's how I always imagined... Pensacola.
-So who -- what -- are you?
-Originally just another species like yourselves. Well, not like you at all actually, but...
-Can you show me?
-Small moves, Captain, small moves.
-Why did you contact us?
-You contacted us. We were simply listening. We've been listening for millions of years.
-And those other docking ports I saw... I mean... there are others?
-Many others.
-And they all travel here through this wormhole subway system you built.
-Oh, we didn't build it. The transit system has been in place for billions of years; we're just its... caretakers.
-So who...?
-We don't know. Whoever they were, they were gone long before we ever got here.
-The scale... it's just... So all the civilizations you detect; they all end up coming here?
-Not all. Some choose to stay at home and dream their dreams. Some never make it this far.
-So we passed some kind of test?
-... life is unspeakably rare. So whenever we do find another civilization, especially one that's... struggling... We send a message. Sometimes we can offer help. Sometimes we can't. But we always try. Life is simply too precious not to.
-Am I one... or many?
-... all those voices... you gather them all together. Millions of intelligences in one consciousness... and now we're a part of it.
-You always have been. We're all descendants of the same stars, Ellie. All made of the same primordial atoms.
-So. What happens now?
-Now... you go home.
-No! I mean... why so soon?
-If we don't engineer a consistent causality it'll work itself out on its own, and that's almost always worse. Ellie, according to your physics none of this is possible. A lot of it you're simply not capable of understanding, not yet. No offense.
-Eventually you'll get here on your own. This was just the first step; in time you'll take another.
-But -- other people from our planet should see what I've seen -- they should witness this for themselves.
-That isn't the way it works.
-But you said you wanted to help -- don't you see what it would mean?
-No more stalling, Captain.
-Please -- if you... downloaded... everything about us you know the problems we face, the impact it could have -- it could make the difference --
-It's time to go home now.
-No. Please.
-S.R. Hadden... You compromised our security codes.
-You live here.
-I find it convenient to keep my interests... mobile. Anyway, I've had my fill of life on the ground. After spending much of this century pursuing the evils and pleasures the world has to offer -- after outliving three wives and two children... I find I've had quite enough of planet Earth.
-Why am I here, Mr. Hadden?
-The infamous, unfashionable bluntness. You're here so we can do business. I want to make a deal.
-What kind of deal?
-The powers that be have been quite busy lately, falling over each other to position themselves for the game of the century, if not the millennium. Perhaps you've noticed. Perhaps I could help deal you back in.
-I didn't realize I was out.
-Oh, maybe not out -- but definitely looking for you coat. I understand you've had some difficulty locating the -- what are you calling it? The 'primer' that will make decryption possible... I've found it.
-You've... found it. What could I possibly have that you would want, Mr. Hadden?
-I've had a long time to make enemies, Dr. Arroway. There are many governments, business interests, even religious leaders who would like to see me disappear. And I will grant them their wish soon enough... But before I do, I wish to make a small contribution -- a final gesture of goodwill toward the people of this little planet who've given -- from whom
-If I knew you any better I'd say that doesn't sound like you.
-Page after page of data -- over sixty-three thousand in all, if I'm not mistaken... and at the end of each...
-A page-break signal. A period.
-Not if you think like a Vegan.
-You're saying... there is no separate primer in the message -- because it's on every page so the recipient can decipher it wherever he is --
-Some kind of circuitry...?
-Very good, Doctor. I've also detected structural elements, back references, a general movement from the simple to the complex -- all of which would seem to indicate instructions -- an enormously complicated set of instructions -- for building something.
-A machine. But a machine that does what?
-That would seem to be the question of the hour. I want to build it, Doctor. Of course I'm already lobbying through the usual channels of influence and corruption -- but as I said, my colorful past has made many of those channels... difficult to navigate. I need someone on the inside.
-And in return?
-Mr. Hadden, I'm a scientist; I don't make deals... But. If you wish to give me, in good faith, access to your information, I can assure you that I will exert all reasonable efforts to promote your cause wherever it doesn't conflict with the best interests of science... or my better judgment.
-A sunrise and a sunset every forty- five minutes.
-It's so... small.
-What's that?
-It looks like pixie dust... Kent would've given anything to see this. David, too.
-Yes. A shame. Still... it'd be worse if they died for nothing.
-What are you talking about? It's over.
-Oh, not quite yet. At least for their sake... ... I hope it's not. Because they're running out of time.
-You sound like Joseph. You think the world ends with the millennium?
-I think whoever sent the message did it because they're worried about us.
-The gods sent us the machine because they took pity on us.
-Hokkaido Island.
-The systems integration site.
-As each component was tested and shipped off to Texas a duplicate was maintained and assembled in Hokkaido -- for backup purposes, of course. We've been right behind you the entire time. You see my problem: I couldn't appear to control too large a percentage; my enemies wouldn't stand for it. So I simply made sure the Japanese consortium received the systems integration contract.
-Why don't you come back with me?
-Very well. Assume this is true. Assume they have only the best of intentions. Suppose they decide to just step in and solve all our problems for us. You have no objection to them so flagrantly intervening in human affairs?
-I'd say this is slightly different.
-Perhaps. But on the off-chance that it is a 'doomsday device' of some kind, I plan to be very far away from your lovely Texas when it is activated.
-I thought you were here because you want to go.
-I do. More than anything. But I am also a realist. Soon this... what is your charming term -- ? Dog and pony show will finally be over, and I will go home.
-You're implying that the whole selection process is a sham?
-... Drumlin said you're been down at Arecibo for the last year.
-It's beautiful but it does get a little lonely. Sometimes I think the reason we build these things in such godforsaken places isn't to avoid excess radio traffic but because we're all such pathetic antisocial misfits... Speaking of which: How're you getting on with the old man?
-He's an incredible prick but I never learned so much in my life.
-Ellie. Arroway.
-Peter Valerian.
-Sounds like a Russian general.
-I read your paper on ETI's. It's brilliant.
-Keep it down, okay? Drumlin thinks I'm enough of a flake as it is. Look -- everyone here has their little fetishes. Caven goes to topless bars, Vernon's got his carnivorous plants... mine just happens to be extraterrestrial intelligence.
-... I'm just so sick of feeling defensive about the things I care about! Or being lumped in with the lunatic fringe by people like Drumlin, when if they'd just put aside their preconceptions for two seconds and look at the facts...
-They can't. I think it's against human nature to admit to that level of... insignificance; to not see yourself as basically the center of the universe.
-It's like the pre-Copernicans who swore the sun revolved around the Earth, or the Victorians at the end of the last century who concluded that all major discoveries had now been made. I mean... try to imagine civilization a thousand years ahead of us -- then imagine trying to explain... I dunno, a microwave oven -- to someone even a hundred years ago --
-'Any sufficiently advanced technology...'
-... I keep telling myself okay, that's just the price, you have to do your time doing shitwork before you're allowed to get to the good stuff... but if I have to catalog one more quasar... God, I've missed you.
-Any luck on the grant money?
-Please. Any chance of that died the day David Drumlin was appointed head of the N.S.F. I have been in contact with a few other SETI people; we've been trying to find backing from private investors. I've even managed to scrounge a couple of hours of telescope time here and there...
-And?
-... We've been going after some of the big multi-nationals but without much luck; got a donation from a New York dowager... We've even been thinking about selling T-shirts.
-If we lived at any previous time in human history we wouldn't even have the option of failing -- we'd have to wonder our whole lives, unable to do anything about it. This time, right now, is unique in our history, in any civilization's history -- the moment of the acquisition of technology. The moment when contact becomes possible. We've already beaten incredible odds
-How close are you to getting this funding put together?
-It's almost there. The hardest part is getting someone to sell us the telescope time.
-What if I said I could get Drumlin to agree to sell you time in New Mexico?
-The V.L.A.?
-Thirty-one linked dishes. You could search more sky there in a day than you could in a year here.
-Peter -- if you can get him to do that for me he'd obviously do the same for you -- we could -- !
-Actually --
-We could be together again --
--- I'm moving to Washington.
-Greenbank?
-I'm going on staff at the N.S.F. To work for Drumlin.
-But what about your research -- ?
-This is a chance to be of enormous help to other people's research -- to have the power to be a real advocate where David's got blind spots --
-But the work --
-'The work,' Jesus, Ellie, can't there just once be more to life than the work? Okay, maybe that's the only way to get the recognition, win the prizes --
-Please, you're just as ambitious as I am, more --
-Maybe that's the problem. I want... a family, Ellie. I want kids. A townhouse on L street instead of still living like a college kid. A real life. Maybe that makes me a sellout but I don't care anymore. It's what I want.
-And you think I don't want those things? You think I don't stay up half the night wondering if I've made the right choice living half a world away from you, wondering if any of this is worth what I'm giving up for it everyday? Let's get married.
-Jesus --
-Right now -- we'll drive down to Ramey and get the base chaplain to marry us.
-Ellie --
-I'm serious about this, Peter --
-Ellie -- I'm getting married. Her name's Laura. She came up to Owens Valley to do her post-doc about six months after you left.
-You sonofabitch.
-Ellie.
-It's good to see you, Ellie.
-Someone tell me this is really happening.
-It's really happening.
-That you, Valerian?
-Like it or not.
-Ellie -- are you okay?
-I'm -- I'm fine.
-Thank God. When we lost contact, I thought -- we thought... but you're okay. We're still trying to determine the nature of the malfunction. Did you notice anything at all that --
-Wait -- hold on a minute --
-It's all right, the important thing is you're safe --
-Peter, what are you talking about? What malfunction? What day is this?
-What day?
-Peter... What is going on? Has everyone gone completely insane?
-That's one way of putting it. Kitz, the President, the I.S.C. have shut down all official communications; there've also been reports of riots flaring up across the U.S. and Europe. Until we figure out what went wrong things may get rough, especially for you --
-I agree with Mr. Rank that there are unavoidable religious implications here -- but I don't think it justifies taking an alarmist position. Dr. Arroway is right -- their chosen means of communication was a scientific one, and a scientific approach is probably appropriate, at least until the theological dimensions of the problem become more apparent.
-And where exactly does that put your position...?
-Champagne please.
-... What I'm curious about are the wilderness years. You're out there all alone, no money, mocked by the skeptics. It must have taken tremendous faith.
-I'd say logic more than faith. The odds were on my side.
-And what would you have done if the odds had gone against you?
-I guess I would've felt sorry for the universe.
-Spoken like a true believer.
-What about you? Doesn't all of this shake your faith at all?
-How do you mean?
-Well it's been a while, but I don't recall the Bible saying too much about alien civilizations.
-'My father's house has many mansions.'
-Your 'faith' tells you that the distance a pendulum swings from the vertical can never get bigger, only smaller.
-And you believe this law with all your heart and soul.
-And mind, yes. What are you --
-I flinched.
-Only a tiny bit. Even the most devout believer is allowed a little doubt.
-That's not doubt. That's four hundred years of science fighting a billion years of instinct. I always wondered what you religious types did with your free time.
-... It's an old story. I grew up in South Boston, more or less on the streets. By the time I was thirteen I'd tried my first hit of heroin, by fifteen I'd stopped using but I was dealing full-time. By the time I was nineteen I decided I didn't want to live any more, at least not in a world like that. One
-Can you try?
-I had... an experience. Of belonging. Of unconditional love. And for the first time in my life I wasn't terrified, and I wasn't alone.
-And there's no chance you had this experience simply because some part of you needed to have it?
-Look, I'm a reasonable person, and reasonably intelligent. But this experience went beyond both. For the first time I had to consider the possibility that intellect, as wonderful as it is, is not the only way of comprehending the universe. That it was too small and inadequate a tool to deal with what it was faced with.
-You may not believe this... but there's a part of me that wants more than anything to believe in your God. To believe that we're all here for a purpose, that all this... means something. But it's because that part of me wants it so badly that I'm so stubborn about making sure it isn't just self-delusion. Of course I want to know God
-Do you love your parents?
-I never knew my mother. My father died when I was nine.
-Did you love him?
-Yes. Very much.
-So. Is this kosher fraternizing with the enemy like this?
-Some of my best friends are scientists.
-I was referring to the selectees mingling with the selectors.
-Some of my best friends are scientists. They're saying the machine is alive.
-Not exactly. It has organic qualities, but we don't really understand how they're integrated with the mechanical systems.
-Maybe you're creating a monster.
-I don't think so.
-Why?
-It's too... elegant. The degree of economy is extraordinary; it's really the next logical step... Even on Earth technology has always aspired to a condition of nature. D.N.A. outclasses any computer we can come up with; the human body is the most exquisitely designed machine imaginable.
-In other words, God is one hell of an engineer.
-Relativity. Explain this to me one more time... even if you traveled near the speed of light, when you came back --
-If you came back.
-If you came back... you'd only be four years older -- but over 50 years would have passed on Earth.
-Something like that.
-If you came back. If you survived at all. Which it's pretty certain you wouldn't.
-You're willing to die for this.
-I read your book.
-Really.
-Losing Faith: The Search For Meaning In the Age of Reason. Catchy.
-What'd you think?
-I'm more interested in the story behind the story... How a young man goes from living on the streets of South Boston to being the best- selling media figure rubbing elbows with the President.
-I won't deny I was ambitious. When I had my... experience... I wanted to tell my story to as many people as possible. I'm the first to admit that process included making some compromises. You didn't answer my question.
-I thought it was well-written. Heart-felt. And a little bit naive... But that's just the enemy's perspective.
-I don't consider you the enemy, Ellie. I'm not 'out to get' technology. I only ask the question: Does it have to have all the answers? I look out there and I see so much emptiness... People are so starved for meaning, and it's something they just don't seem to be getting from science.
-Did you ever stop to think that maybe that isn't science's fault, but meaning's?
-I don't follow.
-Do you really believe your life is meaningless?
-I don't know. But as a scientist I have to consider that possibility.
-And yet you're willing to die for this cause, the one thing that's given your life a sense of purpose. Don't you see the contradiction here -- ?
-It's getting late...
-Ellie --
-... Another question I would ask would be a very simple one. How did you do it? How did you evolve as far as you have and not destroy yourselves?
-An excellent question, Doctor. But what if we don't like the answer?
-How do you mean?
-Ellie... the last time we spoke... I said some things...
-So. The final countdown.
-The final countdown.
-During the crusades -- pilgrims who made the journey to the holy land brought back a palm frond to show they'd actually been there. I thought it sort of made sense that Earth is now your holy land, so...
-You're trembling.
-I do seem to be... Maybe because I'm just a little bit terrified about tomorrow.
-What...?
-I'm sorry.
-Ellie, what is it?
-I'm sorry -- I can't --
-What?
-I can't do this --
-What are you so afraid of?
-Please, Palmer -- if you care for me at all, don't push this now --
-What are my other options? In fifty years? Never?
-Please --
-I'm in love with you, Ellie.
-Don't you understand? I just have to hold it together -- just until tomorrow --
-And then what? Then you'll be safe?
--- I don't know --
-Do you really think your life is meaningless, Eleanor? Is that why you're so quick to risk it -- because if your life means nothing then you have nothing to lose?
-I can't hear this now --
-Ellie, there is no reason you have to be alone.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-I'm assuming you read my deposition.
-It was quite a page turner.
-So. I'm assuming they sent you here to administer last rites?
-I'm not sure it's come to that.
-They don't believe me.
-I do.
-You're sure you want to? In the universe I saw we're not exactly the stars of the show. What happened to me makes us all seem pretty damn small.
-It also makes God enormous. I think of the scope of your universe, Ellie... and it takes my breath away. As it will everyone else's.
-I don't have any proof, Palmer.
-Ellie, you're the proof. You tell them your story. Ultimately they'll have no choice but to believe you.
-It's not enough, don't you understand? I know it happened -- but by every standard of science, by every standard I've lived my life by that fact is utterly beside the point. It may be true but it doesn't matter because I can't prove it's real.
-Ellie, the only one holding you to that standard is you! The people want to hear your story, they need to hear it!
-But --
-Have you seen what's happening out there? The terror, the despair? The world is on fire, Ellie. People need something they can believe in, something worthy, and you can give it to them!
-I want to, Palmer -- more than anything. But it has to be real. It has to be true.
-... but it is a good question, and I suppose I'll always wonder about the answer: Why would they send me back without proof?
-Maybe what you experienced can't be reduced to images on a videotape. Maybe they still plan to grant your request, only in their own way, in their own time... Or maybe it's just like you said: ultimately their motives may be as incomprehensible as their technology.
-In other words, God works in mysterious ways...
-I don't know. If it was a god, it was searching for a greater one. It was still searching for meaning...
-Does that mean you think it doesn't exist?
-I'm not sure... Maybe it simply exists in the search for it. Maybe its something we have to make for ourselves.
-Meaning...
-You have a question, Dr. Arroway?
-I question the thinking behind sending the first ambassador to another civilization in armed -- basically announcing our intentions are hostile.
-It's designed purely as a defensive device. Call it a reasonable precaution.
-Call it xenophobic paranoia. Don't you see the absolute absurdity of this? This isn't about them, it's about us -- our violence, our fear and mistrust --
-Dr. Arroway, you are entitled to your opinion. But we feel quite strongly that it would by both irresponsible and naive to send a human being into a completely unknown, completely uncontrollable situation absolutely defenseless.
-You kill me, you really do. The first truly global, a-political event in history and you can't wait to spin it.
-How would you propose we handle it, Doctor?
-I guess I'd say I trust us enough to believe our response would be something to the effect of, thanks for the advice, but no thanks. But to dilute or censor the truth, for whatever reason --
-Nobody is proposing we censor the truth here, Doctor. We're simply talking about putting a mechanism in place --
-Oh my God...
-Well. That would seem to decide it. Like it or not, for the moment, anyway, it looks like we're all in this together.
-But --
-... as have all attempts at internal analysis. We've tried sonargrams, magnetic resonance, gamma rays; it's completely impenetrable.
-Recommendations?
-I don't know. Maybe we built the damn thing wrong. Maybe it was all a hoax... The safest thing would probably be to do a Chernobyl; encase it in concrete.
-Boss, I made an arrangement with that man to take his broom.
-Git your shovel and git to work.
-I don't think you understand. We made a deal ---
-Git movin', I said.
-But I made this arrangement --
-You don't take another man's place, boy.
-I'm lucky I got a broom. Work up top. Real easy job. Man, it's gonna be hot down in that ditch.
-Fifty cents? Sweet job like that worth at least a buck.
-I'll make it a dollar.
-Buck is a deal.
-Hot damn, Drag. Tomorrow's Saturday. Another week almost made.
-How'd you find me?
-Helen, she sent along your things with a note, and John here, he wrote to the police.
-Well, Arletta, I got to stand down here.
-I allus hoped to see you well fixed and have me a crop of grandkids to kiss and fuss around with.
-Like to oblige you, Arletta, but right off I don't know where to put my hands on 'em.
-Sometimes I wisht people was like dogs, Luke. Comes a time, a day like, when the bitch just don't recognize her pups no more, so she don't have no hopes nor love to bring her pain. She just don't give a damn. They let you smoke?
-Yeah, well, Arletta, you done your best. What I done with myself is my problem.
-No it hain't, Luke. You ain't alone. Ever whar you go, I'm with you, and so's John.
-You never thought that's a heavy load?
-No. But things ain't always like they seem, Arletta. You know that. A man's gotta go his own way.
-Yeah.
-What are you doin' here?
-We call it abuildin' time, Arletta.
-You never wanted to live forever anyways, did you? It wasn't such a hell of a life.
-Oh, I had me some high old times. Yore old man, Luke, wasn't much for stickin' around, but damn it he made me laugh.
-You think life is some kind of ocean voyage and you start out with buntin' and hollerin' and high hopes, but the damn ship goes down before you ever reach the other side. Luke?
-Here, Mom.
-What went wrong?
-Nothin'. Ever'thing's cool's can be.
-No.
-You allus had good jobs, and that girl in Kentucky I taken a shine to her.
-She took off with that convertible feller...
-Well, why not? Idee of marryin' got you all choked up, trying to pretend you was respectable you was borin' the hell out of all of us.
-Yeah.
-I'm leavin' the place to John.
-That's good: he earned it.
-Nothin' to do with it. I ain't never give John the kind of feelin' I give you, so I'm payin' him off now. Don't feel you got to say anything. Way it is, sometimes, you just have a feelin' for a child or you don't, and with John I just didn't.
-Gotta go, Arletta.
-Lookit her bounce.
-Gotta have kings.
-Go hard!
-Tell us about it.
-A salesman! Cool Hand Luke a salesman?
-We saw the broads.
-Comin' out here, Boss?
-You was eyeballin', Luke. You can't gitcha mind on them weeds if yer eyeballin'...
-Then how come it ain't done yet?
-I don't know, Boss.
-What's all this dirt in the yard?
-Please! Please!
-Git to work!
-You got your mind right, Luke?
-Yes, Boss. I got it right.
-Supposin' you was to backslide on us, Luke? Supposin' you was to backsass or try to run again...
-Luke, you run again and we'll kill you.
-Go git it, Luke.
-You cut that up fer lunch, Luke.
-He ain't even got the sense to run from the road like everybody else.
-Captain says to wait 'til the Patrol gits here.
-She's on to him. You shoulda waited fer me to git her out -- loose like she is, he kin run her crazy.
-It ain't my fault you don't know how to handle your dogs.
-Here's the Patrol.
-Here, Captain.
-Maliciously destroyin' municipal property while under the influence. What was that?
-Cuttin' the heads off parkin' meters, Captain.
-Well, we ain't never had one of them. Where'd you think that was gonna get you?
-I guess you could say I wasn't thinkin', Captain.
-Says here you done real good in the war: Silver Star, Bronze Star, couple Purple Hearts. Sergeant! Little time in stockades. Come out the same way you went in: Buck Private.
-That's right, Captain. Just passin' the time.
-You gonna get used to wearing them chains aftera while, Luke. But don't you never stop listenin' to them clinkin'. That's gonna remind you of what I been sayin'.
-In the Navy, we used to call guys --
-You was to sell your job, maybe this Lucas War Hero would give you a price.
-Had it done in Singapore. Bunch of us drunk as coots --
-Hey, Tattoo!
-Only two? Man, I already done eight. Nothin' to it. Just make the days and let the weeks and the years make themselves.
-That ain't nuthing compared to what we used to do in San Pedro. There was this ensign...
-You can't do that!
-Borrowin' or payin' back?
-Borrowin'.
-You gotta mind your manners, you actin' like a hillbilly tramp.
-Newmeat looks like a poker player, Drag.
-She looks just like Mrs. Patricia Handy, a married woman... I useta fool with. Man, I kin sniff blondes from a hunnert yards and redheads from a mile and a half.
-Oh, man, did you see her? Did you see her?
-I'm dyin'. I'm dyin'!
-Whatcha got?
-Pair'a nines.
-Uh-huh. And he ain't got nothing showing. Raise his head off.
-He's been betting his head from the gun. Gotta have kings.
-So then you just call him.
-But there's still daylight left.
-Jus' take it slow, buddy.
-What happened? How far did you get?
-He ain't eating beans fer lunch.
-Looka that! Two of them. Oh my...
-Lemme see it!
-Oh lookit that brunette.
-Dragline, lemme look at the picture.
-Come on, Drag. Lemme take a look.
-A cold drink.
-A cold drink? You mean one cold drink? To feast yore starvin' fishy l'il eyes on The Picture? A true vision of Paradise itself? With two of the angels right there in plain sight a- friskin' round with mah boy?
-A cold drink? Okay?
-That's my baby.
-Somebody say somethin'?
-I didn't say nothin', Boss.
-Well, whatta we got here?
-Oh we got our sources... Tearing the heads off... what was it... gumball machines? What kind of thing is that for a grown man?
-Whatta you so happy about?
-Plumb busted out. Looks like the hard road finally got to Mister Lucas War Hero.
-Course not. He ain't in the box 'cause a the joke played on him. He's there 'cause he back sassed a Free Man. They got their rules and we ain't got nothing to do with that. Woulda probably happened to him sooner or later, to a complainer like him. He's gotta learn the rules same as anybody else.
-Yeah, those poor old guards need all the help they can get.
-Slow down, man. They ain't passing out medals for slinging dirt.
-Man, this here Newmeat parking meter bandit thing what calls itself Luke don't know nuthin' 'bout nuthin'.
-Maybe he's been chain-ganging too long.
-Lucille? Where do you get that?
-That'sa Lucille, you mullet head! Any girl so innocent and built like that gotta be named Lucille.
-Shut your mouth 'bout my Lucille.
-Your Lucille? Man, you better put them glasses back on and take a look at yourself.
-Whatta you mean, forget it?
-I'm gonna kill you, you go on...
-Nuthin'! A handfull of nuthin'! You stupid mullet-head. He beat you with nuthin'! Just like today when he kept coming back at me.
-Nuthin' can be a pretty cool hand.
-Hey, buddy. Take it easy. You're making me look bad.
-They don't know iff'n to smile, spit or swallow.
-Where'd the road go?
-Why'd you have to say fifty? Why not thirty-five or thirty-nine?
-Fifty's a nice round number.
-Damn, Luke. What's the matter with you? what's the matter with me?
-What did I do? Stole and tole lies. I loved mah neighbor and his wife, but what did I do to deserve this lunatic to come in mah happy home and beat me outa hard earned bread.
-We got it locked in the sock.
-Yeah, I know. But what we gotta do first is stretch that l'il ol' belly of yours -- git it all strained out, in fightin' shape, like a barrage balloon.
-You ol' sack of guts. I had a belly like yours, we wouldn't have nothin' to worry about.
-'Atsa sign I got me an affectionate nature.
-Like an elephant.
-Look at Him go. Bam! Bam!
-Sure do... that's why we didn't bet with the Navy.
-Don't hit me no more, Boss! Don't hit me! I'll do anythin' you say but just don't hit me! Oh Luke. You are an original, you truly are. You really fooled them.
-Foolin', Hell! I would have eaten that dirt for them. They coulda used my head for a shovel and a my face for a broom... They just never did get a piece of my mind.
-Whoee, it's cold. Wisht I had somethin' to eat. Bread, grits, beans even. Soon's we get to my house, we're gonna have us one big meal and then I'm gonna show you some farm girls that...
-We ain't goin' nowhere.
-What you talkin' about, Luke? We're together, you and me, just like always. Now the thing we gotta work out is how to get Koko outa there and then the Terrible Trio be all complete again. Man, this old Free World ain't gonna know which ear to stand on.
-Yeah, well, you and Koko kin handle it without me.
-What you mean, Luke?
-But, Luke...
-Take it easy, Drag.
-Luke. Where you goin?
-On my own.
-Is that your answer, Old Man? You're a hardcase too, ain't you?
-Luke, are you alright?... They got us, boy. They're out there thicker'n flies. Bosses and dogs and sheriffs and more guns than I ever seen in my life. We don't have a chance, Luke... They caught up with me right after we split up and they was aimin' to kill you, Luke. But I got 'em to promise if you give up peaceful, they
-Do we even get our same bunks back?
-Why sure, Luke. I mean I didn't talk to them about that. But why not? They're reasonable, Luke. Hell, we only been gone a coupla hours.
-You don't understand a thing, do you, Drag?
-Luke, you got to listen to me. All you got to do is just give up nice and quiet, just play it cool.
-Like I always do?
-Dragline gives out the names here. You'll get yours when he figures you out.
-Not a liar. You just have a common -- and likable -- tendency toward exaggeration.
-Nobody kin eat fifty eggs.
-You just said he could eat anything.
-Koko, write down their names, don't just make marks.
-One rule! No throwing up. He throws up, you forfeit everything.
-He peels the eggs himself. That's understood.
-Thirty-nine... forty... forty-one... forty-two...
-All right now: get mad at them eggs. Eat it there boy! Bite it! Gnaw on it!
-What's the writing say?
-Dear Boys. Playing it cool. Wish you were here. Love, Cool Hand Luke.
-That ole box collapse and fall apart before Luke calls quits.
-Oh Lord!
-That fool. That damn fool.
-A bunch. Must be halfa dozen Newmeat.
-No more than five. For a cold drink.
-Man! It's gonna be one hot muther today.
-Man, it's so hot.
-Ana paira ninas. Koko's the brains.
-I'm in.
-Ace calls. Here we go. King-five gets a tray for no help. Paira ninas gets a Jack. Ana man with the ace gets... slop in the face... Ninas up.
-Cuter again.
-I gotta believe. Out! Now they're rollin'. King-five-four gets an eight. Pair'a nines with a Jack gets a four. Ninas still up.
-Man, you play like a kokonut. You got to call him at least.
-Oh no, man! Not on this hot muther.
-Man Oh Man.
-Kick a buck.
-Back a buck.
-Yeah, found one in this supermarket, keys in the ignition.
-Well, how far didya get?
-Picture's a phoney... Cost me a week's pay.
-But -- but --
-Koko, why don't you let one of these Newmeats take your broom for today?
-You can't switch 'round jobs, anyway. I figured he knew that.
-You think you've been working hard. This muther'll break your back.
-One, two, three...
-Stop that.
-How about you tryin' to make me?
-He'll never make it.
-What are you talking about?
-He doesn't know when to give in. They'll kill him.
-I don't see no sign of guts in you.
-No. No chains either.
-You ain't man enough to wear them!
-But you're dog enough. Maybe they'll let you sleep outside the box near your master.
-Big deal paper hanger! Hell, anyone who can write can pass fifty-sixty dollar checks. Like breakin' open a piggy bank.
-You've been having bad luck with masters, haven't you? Your last one left you when the cops came... and now Luke. You should complain to the S.P.C.A.
-Excuse me, but would you mind explaining why you're watching the lady upstairs?
-I hate this...
-Now look what you did.
-What did I do?
-You threatened to drive her downtown. She has agoraphobia.
-Fear of what...
-It's good medicine.
-Where were you? Don't tell me. It's just under seventy, right? The sun is strong but the air is dry and fresh...
-I got it myself... I couldn't wait.
-I've told you: I can't afford to garage it.
-Are you kidding? You buy enough gourmet junk every week... most of which <u>rots</u>... to garage a fleet of stretch limos.
-I had the dream again. And I got another call. This time he spoke. He said "You and me, you and me."
-A little heavy breathing is what most of us yearn for. <u>Forget</u> it.
-He can't phone you unless the warden gets an okay from you. Did you give him an approval?
-Oh God. I'm really crazy.
-When was the last time you washed your hair?
-Monsieur Andy, disapproves of my coiffure?
-Cellulite. What do you say I blindfold you and take you to the gym. Aerobics with housewives...
-You parked right behind him. The one I noticed earlier. I didn't say anything, I thought he'd leave. Just take a look.
-Oh my God! Help! HE'S READING A NEWSPAPER!
-But earlier, he was staring up here. <u>Please</u>, Andy.
-Oh, God. I must have looked horrible.
-No, dear. You're at your best with a bag in front of your face.
-I want to die.
-What? What'd I do?
-Reminded me that I used to be attractive. That men used to want me...
-When are you going to call them?
-I can't, Andy.
-None of you know anything about it. Now go. And Andy, if you persist in playing doctor, leave, with them.
-I'm the only friend you've got, darling, and I don't intend to stop doing what I think is good for us.
-The moon is up, my night to howl. Will you be okay?
-Oh, God, I forget. Yes. Yes. You go. Poor thing, you ought to get out.
-You're fired.
-Sorry, Luv. I've got a date.
-It's almost six. And guess what? Hall likes me bathed and shaved.
-You bastard!
-Where have you <u>been</u>? What happened to your wallet?
-Investigators Halloran and Goetz. I apologize for Goetz, he's a firehouse dog.
-Are you staying long? Shall I shut the door? Make your coffee? Make the beds?
-We'll get the paramedics...
-Tell her we're sorry we bothered her.
-She just got to sleep. Do you have to tell her about it now?
-Tell her about <u>what</u>?
-Yes. Without question.
-Without question? He only scored 40 percent, four out of ten criteria? Couldn't another expert say he <u>flunked</u> the sexual sadist test? What curve are you marking on, Doctor?
-The test criteria are only part of what we look at in evaluating subjects.
-Only part. What else? What did you think of his claim that he tied this girl to the tree and set fire to her because Joan of Arc told him to do it.
-He was lying.
-'Lying. He was lying.' I asked you what you thought, not what he did.
-I thought he was lying.
-You said, first, he was lying. How do you know that, Doctor?
-He took pains to hide his actions because he knew they were morally wrong. He was not acting on mad impulse. He was sane and acting out a pattern he carefully followed every time.
-What pattern was that?
-The first two murders.
-What first two murders. We don't know about them here, do we?
-He told me he had done two others just like it.
-When was that?
-When he was seventeen.
-And you believed him when he told you he had done that.
-Who are you?
-Inspector Halloran. Homicide. You were supposed to contact a Peter Kurten?
-I was? How you spell that?
-Cut the crap. You got a sheet the length of my arm...
-I never hurt nobody...
-Shut up -- I'm talking. You got felony breaking and entering, burglary, felonious...
-You don't listen very good. This break in -- I can call it a felony -- three strikes, and you got about sixteen strikes already, and you're in jail for the rest of your life, no parole. Or I could see it gets forgotten.
-You get me out first.
-Tell me what you want me to say. Anything.
-You were going to make a delivery to Peter Kurten for Daryll Lee Cullum. I want Kurten's phone number.
-Wait... wait... I already called him, I threw it away.
-You already made the delivery?
-No, that's still in my jacket I was wearing. We were supposed to meet on the docks, that number 47 wharf, 10 o'clock Friday. He's gonna hand me 500 bucks.
-What Friday?
-Then you get your ass outta here, I don't wanta see you again...
-I brought a present for the lady, there. I'm looking for her, to give her the present...
-You break into her apartment to deliver a gift? Where is it?
-The door was open, swear to God, I'm just looking for her when you come charging up the stairs...
-Where is it?
-Daryll Lee Cullum, he wrote that book, he wanted the lady to have it. They won't let him send it to her, so I'm getting out, he asks me to deliver it in person, he says, put it on her pillow. It has all about how he tried to kill her.
-He told you she was loaded, any- thing you could steal you could keep, Conrad? You bought yourself a return ticket to Quentin, breaking and entering.
-The door was already open...
-We know... Send the book to evidence...
-She's supposed to have it.
-Hello, Daryll Lee.
-You read my book which as you know, hit the stands a couple of weeks ago. You read it yet.
-What book?
-I'll look for it, Daryll Lee.
-Bet you never figured I'd follow in your footsteps. It's real well- written. You should read it -- you're in it.
-I will. I'll call you, Daryll, and talk to you about it after I've read it. Right now I have a question... Peter Kurten.
-Kurten! Is he bothering you? I told that son I'd send him what he wanted if he leave you alone.
-Ah ha. What did he want?
-Something personal. Is he bothering you?
-I don't know. I'd like to know where he is.
-Listen, you want my advice? Steer clear. He's writing me he's gonna finish 'my unfinished symphony.' He's gonna give me $550 for some of my cum, he says he's in a position to see that I will be immortal if he has some of my spunk. I'm offended. Right away I smell <u>freak</u>. Writin' about him and me and <u>you</u> bein' joined and he's
-I think whatever is best for you, Daryll. And maybe you're right, that's the place.
-You come and visit.
-Where did you send the message to Peter Kurten?
-How was Conrad supposed to find Kurten?
-Conrad has the phone number. Conrad, where is he?
-In jail.
-Hi. It's your worst student, Peter Foley -- how do you grade me now, Doctor?
-Who was the man in the basement?
-You like that action? Didn't that cop on TV look <u>solemn</u>? The guy in the basement doesn't matter, anyway, just another lonely heart.
-Where are you, Peter?
-What was that? What am I hearing? The sound of an epiphany, a sudden blinding insight?
-It's Daryll Lee Cullum, isn't it?
-Mm-hmm. I can't get to you. You have to come to me.
-You know I can't do that.
-For God's sake Peter, leave her out of it. You don't want her, you want me.
-I need her; she's a cop. I have to kill a cop, and then...
-You've been perfect. Don't spoil the symmetry -- you have to have a male cop.
-Yes. I do. I want it to end now. Let her go. I'll come -- just let her go. She's not important.
-You know where.
-Kill me, Peter, do it, now.
-No. Not yet.
-Do it. If that's what all this carnage is about, then do it. Have enough guts to do it.
-We'll keep talking. Until they get here. Then...
-I have no life anymore. I ruined your life, make me pay for it.
-Why did you do that? Didn't you have any idea how hard it was for me, to get that far? I worshipped you. You inspired me. I thought you could understand me the way you understood the others. I knew that about you -- the ones you admired were the great murderers; they fascinated you.
-That's not who I admire -- I admire people who are good at what they do, great artists, writers, thinkers...
-Oh, please. I know what's coming, now. "Let me help you..."
-Do anything you want to me. I give myself to you. Only put the knife down. Isn't this what you always wanted? I know it's what we all want, to love and to loved. I could love you. You could work together in some safe place, learn to really understand you, help you, give you some peace of mind, some happiness...
-Who is this?
-No, ma'am. This is no joke. And neither is tying up telephone lines to police with crank calls while people in trouble are trying to get through for help.
-You're calling me a crank?
-Do you have any evidence to report, ma'am? Do you know any of the victims...
-I think this is number three...
-Ring the gong, he goes. Poor impulse control.
-Is he out?
-Who?
-If he's not out, why are they here?
-Because of your phone calls.
-I want to tell you it's a great honor to meet you and talk to you.
-You don't admire me. No police admire me. I got one of you killed. Why don't you say right out what you're here for?
-<u>You</u> called <u>us</u>, Doctor Hudson.
-Sugar and cream for Goetz; I take mine black. You're absolutely correct. The politicians don't want panic headlines spoiling the Festival of Love.
-Well, let's thank God you and Inspector Goetz are on the case, then.
-Would you want to work with us on this?
-Oh, my God, no! I'm a clinical hysteric, with panic syndrome, and anxiety neurosis, agoraphobic, I'm afraid of everything, real and imaginary. I never leave this apartment now. Nobody ever comes here. I just wanted to get your attention. I write and I used to lecture on these crimes, but... I'm not competent.
-I think you are. I really admire everything you've done; it would be an honor to work with you, and we need all the help we can get, especially yours.
-Inspector Halloran, that is so much bullshit, you don't like or admire me, but the beautiful part is I don't give a fuck. That's the upside of having a breakdown.
-Well, it's a hell of an apartment you got here. I'm living one step away from the projects, myself, but I get to go to work every day, wading in blood and guts. I guess the books you wrote about these sons of bitches paid off pretty good.
-Will you go. Andy, make them go.
-Is it an ongoing case?
-For months... last October.
-It was a lover or a husband. Someone close. Somebody who knew her and cared about her.
-How do you know that?
-The bodies have been carefully arranged... different positions, but somehow the same. The positions are brutal... yet quite... artful. It's like... a signature. He's proud of his accomplishments. There are early Picassos and late Picassos, but you always recognize the hand. He wants us to recognize <u>his</u> hand. I've seen this hand before... what are you hiding?
-Nothing.
-Where are the stockings he strangled them with?
-How did you know they were stockings?
-Why imitate a dead serial killer?
-If you knew why, you might know where to look for him. I don't envy you this; he's not done -- he's going to do them faster and faster to keep the adrenaline rush. Now, I've done what you asked me.
-How do you know that?
-Can you make a copy we can show on our computers?
-I'm going to put a guard on your door.
-One officer already got killed trying to protect me. Please, just take it all away. Leave me alone.
-We'll show that to...
-I am not going to look at any more pictures. They're like a disease. They get into my head. I can't get them out.
-I don't look at pictures. I look at the <u>real thing</u>. I don't feel infected.
-Maybe that's why you can't catch him. I <u>know</u> what she looks like -- the red-headed woman in my computer.
-She probably let him in the door without a thought. Where are their mothers?! Where are the mothers that are supposed to teach them to be wary and to tough and not afraid to fight?
-It's <u>anybody</u> connected to author- ity. They write, they even knock on your door. They're <u>fans</u>. It thrills them to flirt with getting caught.
-Nobody knows you have anything to do with this case; nothing has been on TV or the news... Why would he want to get in <u>your</u> computer?
-That's amazing. A whole new book, thought up in a minute. Very good. All I know how t do is get up, take a shower, and go to work. Hope, if he does another I'll nail the son of bitch, and they'll spell my name right in the newspaper. Where is Andy going?
-He's going home. He slept over because I was a little anxious...
-We've got another one.
-That's no surprise.
-But it's a different m.o.
-Then what do you need me for?
-She was killed somewhere else and dumped outdoors in an empty lot. Where it says "no dumping." Her legs pulled apart in a kind of sexual pose. It's all different but it seems so -- the same. Artificial and <u>posed</u>... Something's wrong with it.
-Who turned off the Internet computer...
-I turned it off. It's like an open window he can climb right in...
-He comes in the window, we maybe grab him. Where's the on-switch?
-Have you got a warrant? Get the hell out o here! This is the <u>only space I have left in the</u> <u>world</u>! Why can't you leave me out of it?
-Helen -- the killer directly contacted you. His interest in you is <u>intense</u>. I'm worried about you. I don't want to lose you. I know this stirs up every monster under the bed, but this is the only direct contact we have with him. The only chance we have to trap him. So, you can turn Internet back on, or I do, and we
-That little Winona Ryder manner... you're more convincing as Clint Eastwood.
-Ruben.
-Hello, Ruben... So that's that...
-There were needle marks. But no drugs in her blood.
-Is that it?
-That's not consistent... You said they never changed their style, they're robots...
-Consistency is the hobgoblin of <u>little</u> minds. Tell them to test for the chemicals found in Windex. That's a product for cleaning with...
-I know Windex, for God's sake, I clean my own windows...
-It's what Bianchi and Buono injected into one of their victims.
-Injected Windex! Why would he switch to a new m.o.?
-Ah, if you knew that, you'd be half way to nailing him. Serial killing is irrational and rigid and compulsive. This guy has a plan all thought out, flexible and complex. He's playing a game with us. Who will he imitate next? Maybe he's doing all the serial killers in history, the great innovators, the murderers' hall of fame. Just to prove he's better
-He'll get caught. If he has a plan that'll be what trips him up...
-Who's going to catch him? You? And if you do, there'll be another one. And one after that.
-You're afraid of him.
-This one, yes. I was always curious about these twisted little souls, but this is the first one I've felt personally terrified of. He's something new and unheard of. I don't know what he wants.
-Halloran.
-You betrayed me! Now every psychopath in the city knows I'm back in business... You lied to me!
-I did not; the Mouth -- that's what we call Susan Schiffer -- got it on her own.
-Why should I trust you?
-Helen, hang up, let Ruben get on with his work...
-What's that siren?
-One of those goddamned car alarms. What's going...
-Ruben's gone to look... It's banged up but it looks like a .44. It's Son of Sam. Is it Son of Sam?
-They put Merry <u>Saks</u> on it?!
-He said to send you his regards and to tell you that the Bureau holds you in the highest esteem.
-What I can't believe is that in an earlier life I slept with him! Christ! Any God that loved his people would give women a rewind on their life and an erase button. Just give me a minute here. The letter is addressed to me... You don't feel fear, do you? You're young. You feel like you'll live forever. How wonderful.
-I put my ass on the line, giving you that.
-They weren't going to show it to me?! The arrogance! It's my <u>life</u>!
-It's also the major piece of evidence, and it makes you a key part of his plan. You can't run away from it anymore. Look at the order he's doing them... He did three as the Boston Strangler just to tell us a copycat serial killer was at work. Then he did one like the Hillside Strang- ler. And then one as Son of
-'...great dark hall of fame... all our greatest killers...' His greatest <u>heroes</u>? He wants to be famous. When they're caught and people like me write about them, we give them a kind of immortality. They get thousands of letters. Ramirez kills eight women and gets a hundred marriage proposals a month. They're like film stars.
-Let's speed up the game plan... call all the living serials to ask if they've had contact with a Peter Kurten. We could use some help on the phones...
-They're not talking to me. Saks looks right through me. I ask him for some bodies, for the phones -- he's so encouraging: "you make that <u>your</u> little job." Condescending bastard. Helen, on your lists to call is San Quentin. Daryll Lee Cullum?
-What happened to you?!
-I just thought it was so -- unprofessional. Of you both!
-He felt sorry for me. It was so nice to flirt. He was a darling man.
-A man? I thought he was a boy. This last Christmas was the happiest Christmas I had in the last ten years... you know why? It was the first Christmas in six years I was not in love. Son of a bitch <u>married men</u>! Who cares about marriage, the bed just gets crowded and noisy?!
-You're exhausted. Let me get you a brandy.
-Who's the married man?
-The University computer is down for maintenance, but I've been going through my own notes...
-Yes. Dahmer! And after that...
-Bundy. That's the last one in your speech...
-Maybe you should...
-I'm working on it! It's what I do. Quinn...Halloran. I'll wait. Where's Andy, can we get some coffee in here?
-I am not going to talk about it. How do you <u>know</u> it was Andy if the head was gone? Where is the head? Are you looking for it? Oh, God, why him? Because of me. I can't talk about it. I write about things like this, stuff it all in books and bury it in libraries. This is the first person close to
-How many do you need to sleep. Really sheep?
-W-We had a fight. I called him... called him a name...
-Helen. I saw him die. I saw him burning on the basement stairs, he never reached the top.
-They never kill themselves. How do you know it was him. You never met him. You never even saw a photograph...
-Helen -- let go. You've got to let go.
-He hasn't done Bundy. He's done every one of the others, hasn't he? If there are three dead Chi Omega college girls tomorrow, how will you feel? Go there. See if there could be any way for him to escape.
-This has been the worst 48 hours of my life. I'm going home. I'm going to try to get drunk.
-If there's a one percent possibil- ity, can you live with yourself when he kills again?
-Why can't I drive home? I will. You. Look at you. <u>You</u> need a ride home. And you don't even know it.
-You were the one that talked about moonbikes and called me a crank? Oh God, I <u>am</u>! Make them some coffee. Halloran, is it? Investigator Goetz? I had a crank call myself-- he said... I thought it might be Daryll Lee Cullum. I thought he might be out of prison.
-I don't want this. What are they?
-Somebody is imitating his m.o. Look for a plumber or carpenter or handyman; that's how deSalvo got in the door and caught them off guard.
-The Boston Strangler, when was that...?
-That computer's wired into INTERNET.
-He's hacked into her Internet address. He's a hacker.
-It's a game they like to play. Berkowitz -- "Son of Sam" -- hung around the crime scene, talking to the cops. This one's probably watching <u>you</u>, laughing at you.
-It's gone. The file's not here. What did you do?
-I just started it copying to tape, but the tape never ran. It just did that...
-I know 'Halloran.' What's the rest of it?
-MaryJane. We call her M.J.
-We're through for the night, aren't we? You go on. Get some sleep. I'll stay until we can get a man out here and maybe catch a cab home.
-You and MaryJane aren't lovers.
-Are you always so bold?
-The problem for me is... you're in the witness category. Know what I mean?
-Tell me what to do!
-Don't let go... I can't breathe... I'll die!
-The lock...
-I'll get a locksmith.
-It's a woman shot in a car?
-Yes. I have to go...
-Don't hang up!
-<u>What</u>?...
-Yes.
-Is there a phone booth there?
-They all have one...
-Open the door. Please.
-He was in my apartment!
-You know how to use this?
-They taught me at the FBI. I was very good at it. It scared me... I liked it.
-You take it, hang on to it, it'll make you feel safer. Stay put.
-Ma'am, please get out of your vehicle...
-Merry, how... oh, Christ, of course, you had my phone tapped.
-Just get out of your vehicle...
-He's got Sergeant Halloran in there. He'll kill her the minute he sees or hears your people...
-You've been very useful, Doctor, we appreciate all you've done, and now the professional will take over...
-Hello. I am Meryhew Saks. The song is called "Murder By Numbers." The performers are a group called The Police. Adam here... ... from Behavioral Science is working out exactly what this perpetrator is trying to telegraph in the note. This is an extremely complex case, and we have a lot of fancy theories floating around. We're not ruling out the possib- ility of
-We don't see too many lady homicide detectives. You have <u>my</u> respect. Have you discussed the note with Dr. Hudson?
-I was just about to advise the Inspector here not to show Dr. Hudson the note.
-Sir, Doctor Hudson and I see a pattern develop...
-We know Helen. She's not exactly a credible collaborator. Especially late in the day...
-She takes tranquilizers her doctor prescribes.
-How come you're so up on Dr. Hudson?
-She is a writer, writing best selling books about serial killing. Giving lectures she's well-paid for. Her interests are not the interests of law enforcement.
-Okay.
-I was.
-I'm over here? What's your name, Officer?
-Michael Johnson.
-You touch anything, Mike? Pick up anything? Use the doorknob? I don't want to find your prints on anything later and you tell me you forgot to tell me.
-Whatever it is, I'm gonna find out and sooner is a hell of lot better than later.
-Well, there's something missing in there. There was something around her neck when I came in there, but it's gone now.
-Who came in after you?
-What am I wasting my time with this shit for?
-Because it's your job, that's all.
-Not what I meant; why <u>me</u>?
-Working late. You're a damn fool.
-It's none of my business anymore...
-You got that right, Nikko, it's none of your business.
-Well, you outranked <u>me</u>, Nikko.
-Yeah. And you used that. Used <u>me</u>
-Don't put yourself down like that. I <u>never</u> used you. I worked my way up like a marine grunt!
-Yeah, you did that too. You earned what you got; don't shit on it, that's all I'm saying.
-If this is just the dump site, where did he do the job? Where did he pick her up?
-Quinn will be here any minute. What are you going to say?
-Christ. I didn't lock the fucking drawer! You spend twenty years thinking some perp's gonna whack you... you'll crash your car... but what happens is, you fuck yourself... You can't imagine how many times I saw you two... your head together, I wish him dead. Every time... Want to hear something weird? I feel like I'd give my life to bring him back.
-You're in terrible trouble, Nikko.
-I heard. Good police work.
-Just horseshit luck.
-My third grade teacher at the convent shot better than that.
-Answer it.
-You're good enough you'll never have to kill anyone. I joined the cops to save lives, not waste them.
-Get Mercer to run the medical, dental, legal bills, laundry and dry cleaning receipts, extermin- ators, mailmen, grocery and drugstore deliveries, handymen, plumbers...
-Snotty neurotic bitch...
-Classy madonna.
-Sure. She likes <u>you</u>, Rube. She likes the way you move. She sure as hell isn't in love with me.
-You came in there with this attitude...
-What's wrong with him?
-He's just mad he let me keep the espresso machine. We heard from Doctor Hudson?
-Nada. Lemme make the call.
-Honest to God, Ruben!
-I like women like that!
-You said you don't give a fuck and that's the beauty of a breakdown? This doesn't look like not giving a fuck, you know that?
-You got a tape backup, yeah, here lemme copy it on tape...
-Absolutely.
-Is Niccoletti <u>assigned</u> here?
-She didn't fight back, no hair or skin under her fingernails. I'm not seeing any bruises or contusions...
-What about her arms?
-She's blue as hell. No marks on her neck. Asphyxiated? not the same -- no ligature marks. Outdoors...
-Look at her legs.
-Ruben, my God, I ought to put you on report.
-You're right. I can't stand that bastard. Sorry. This is something new. Not the same guy, that's for sure.
-Get the pictures, and casts of footprints.
-Now listen up, Ruben. You never, never, never mess with somebody <u>inside</u> the case!
-Excuse me? <u>Excuse me</u>?! What do you...
-You damn well better start working on that impulse control. A woman who is implicated in this case? Someone who's practically a piece of <u>evidence</u>?
-It's against your rules that I try to help a witness who's scared shitless? Who's...
-What's Abba?
-She wants me to check the phone booth for a note.
-The woman was in shock. She was totally out on ranks. I stayed because I didn't want her to wake up alone in a place where she'd just been under attack. Stop that, you son of a bitch! The place wasn't secure. I was doing my goddamn job! And, for the <u>second time</u>, I slept in her living room.
-Don't try to lie, Ruben. You don't have the face for it. I need you to help interrogate the burglar in Hudson's place...
-I'll talk to Conrad myself. I'll be in the jail when you wind this up...
-You messed with the scene.
-I tagged the goddamned stocking. It ain't lost. We're sequestering that evidence. That's the trap some son of a bitch is going to fall into...
-Am I in charge of this thing? Or not.
-You didn't say serial killer and I didn't say serial killer.
-Right.
-This is the anniversary of the summer of love and your city fathers have declared a Festival of Love. The Mayor and Chamber of Commerce don't want TV announcing killers on the loose.
-We're gonna have a bunch of clapped out old hippies blissing on the Grateful Dead! Sleeping in the park, smoking dope and sticking tulips up their ass.
-There was no sperm.
-The same as the firs two. Definitely a serial.
-What are you looking at that for? Helen Hudson. Work the clues.
-What clues? I'm going to work Helen Hudson.
-I'm <U>telling</u> you. Don't you <u>ever</u> address me publicly in that tone. You'll work what and <u>who</u> I tell you to work.
-Anybody in this department ever worked a serial killer case? She's the expert. I need help.
-How about I put Nikko on it?
-Sergeant?
-Yessir.
-You ever reflect how this big explosion in dead women coincides with the flowering of women's lib?
-Don't swear at me because we got problems. I'm just giving you the news. I went to a Catholic school; I'll tell you what they teach. On the knuckles they teach.
-Who've I got to beat up except the messenger? Does this give us anything to go on?
-I'm checking out anybody who lives like DeSalvo. Records of arrests for rape, especially by a man wearing green. Checking out psychiatric hospitals for his personality profile. Cross check- ing names from arrests for sexual offenses, public fondling. If they've got a German wife. We can keep cops working on this kind of junk for years, and this guy's going to hit again, soon.
-I know. Get out here.
-So. Do we tell the media and hope for somebody to come forward with information?
-Oh, maaaaan?!
-What? I talk like a cop, this is the way I talk. I can't believe this guy. Saks. He's a Deputy Assistant Director of the F.B.I. "Let me help you!"
-We could use a little help.
-So what have we got?
-It's not the same guy. It should be a self-solver. No bow around the neck, left and body outdoors, completely different. The others were housewives, secretaries, he talked his way inside, killed them in their own living room or bed- or bathroom. This one didn't have a husband or a boyfriend, no family, temp waitress, 3 arrests for misdemeanor dope offenses, DUI, asphyxiation probably
-Christ. How old are you? You sure you want to be in this line of work?
-You're damn right I do.
-Okay, now what about your sidekick punching my favorite detective? What the hell is going on? You got no discipline in your operation.
-Where you going?
-Helen Hudson...
-What the hell you need her for?
-M.J., I'm going to have to borrow Ruben. The alien-smuggling thing in Chinatown is going down tomorrow night and Jack's kid got hit by a car. I gotta give Ruben to Nikko.
-What does this mean? Now we got the FBI, my team is expendable? I'm working my ass off, is anybody listening? Why Ruben, anyway? He and Nikko don't even get on together...
-Teach both of them a lesson in cooperation and self-discipline.
-If this is a first step in kicking me off the case, just tell me, to my face, sir, don't waste time being diplomatic.
-Just, I need results. And -- I am short-handed. Who else am I gonna give him?
-I didn't want the Illigals, I wanted just the bastards dumping them in the harbor. What's keeping those bums at Immigration? Nightmare in here...
-The prowler in Hudson's apartment turns out to have a meeting with a suspect...
-You got a suspect...
-How'd you get in on the deal?
-I'm gonna drop charges on the break-and-enter at Hudson's...
-You have no authority to make a deal like that. That' s for the D.A...
-Or the F.B.I.?
-Saks. If he knew you did that! They're all asking me, 'what is she doing,' as it is.
-Give me Ruben back...
-You want mine, too? You take his, you take mine. I'm the one fucked it up...
-That was Bundy. He killed forty of them, identical, long hair, parted in the middle, alike as Barbie dolls. ...this is hopeless. Let's try to get time for a police spokesman to appear on college radio and TV hookups and broadcast a warning?
-She's in no shape to give her statement tonight...
-I just got here myself, Susan.
-...confirm this third murder adds up to a pattern? Do we have a serial killer on the loose in the city?
-... third Bay Area woman has been strangled, but the police continue to deny that this is the work of one killer. Lt. Thomas Quinn declares that the murders will be treated as unrelated crimes, unless new evidence...
-Detective Niccoletti?
-Inspector, will you confirm somebody is copying the Boston Strangler? This is the fourth, is that correct?
-He's not treating her right...
-She left you, Nikko. She's not your responsibility. She takes very good care of herself. If she wants to romance the kid, it ain't your business. Your business is to snap out of it.
-We were together six years, sir!
-Don't give me six years! You never divorced Patty, did you? So what'd you expect from M.J.?
-She knows I'm Catholic! She never mentioned divorce! Not once!
-Then you shoulda known she wasn't buying. She was just long-term leasing' you. Ah, Nickie. Except for that rare twenty-second twitch, there ain't nothin' about sex I don't hate. But of course, I'm Irish. Plus I got <u>real</u> problems. I'm worried I might have to put you in over M.J. There's something going on here, the Commissioner is targeting her now, I can't leave
-I don't want the job. Don't do that to her. She's worked too damned hard for it.
-Put in the Kevin Costner.
-Why don't we save it for later? It's almost time for Letterman.
-See, now you've annoyed her. You know she doesn't like you to touch me. Does she, widdle wee fing! Wuhve you so much! Did you feed her?
-Yes, I fed her. If she says she's hungry, she's lying to you. Again.
-She doesn't lie! You sure you fed her?
-She lies all the time. Why would I say I fed her if I didn't?
-Where were you?
-In the private aircraft hangar. Anybody could have walked in.
-Did you come?
-No. What about your camera girl? Did she come?
-Poor darling. What can I do about Karen? How can I arrange to have her seduce me? She desperately needs a conquest.
-There, that's better.
-Not a lot of action here.
-They consider this to be the airport hospital. This ward is reserved for air- crash victims. The beds are kept waiting.
-If I groundloop during my flying lesson on Saturday you might wake up and find me next to you.
-Is that a gift from Wendel? It has an aeronautical feel to it.
-That's going well, then.
-The other man, the dead man, his wife is a doctor - Dr. Helen Remington. She's here, somewhere. As a patient, of course. Maybe you'll find her in the hallways tomorrow on your walk.
-And her husband? What was he?
-Where's the car?
-Outside in the visitors, car park.
-What!? They brought the car here?
-My car, not yours. Yours is a complete wreck. The police dragged it to the pound behind the station.
-Have you seen it?
-The sergeant asked me to identify it. He didn't believe you'd gotten out alive.
-It's about time.
-It is?
-Minute flecks were spattered across the seat and steering wheel. The instrument panel was buckled inwards, cracking the clock and the speedometer dials. The cabin was deformed, and there was dust and glass and plastic flakes everywhere inside. The carpeting was damp and stank of blood and other body and machine fluids.
-You should have gone to the funeral.
-I wish I had. They bury the dead so quickly - they should leave them lying around for months.
-What about his wife? The woman doctor? Have you visited her yet?
-Renata tells me you're going to rent a car.
-I can't sit on this balcony forever. I'm beginning to feel like a potted plant.
-How can you drive? James... your legs. You can Barely walk.
-Is the traffic heavier now? There seem to be three times as many cars as there were before the accident.
-I've never really noticed. Is Renata going with you?
-I thought she might come along. Handling a car again might be more tiring than I imagine.
-I'm amazed that she'll let you drive her.
-You're not envious?
-He must have tucked a lot of women in that huge car of his. It's like a bed on wheels. It must smell of semen...
-It does.
-Do you find him attractive?
-He's very pale. Covered with scars.
-Would you like to tuck him, though? In that car?
-No. But when he's in that car...
-Have you seen his penis?
-I think it's badly scarred too. From a motorcycle accident.
-They're questioning Vaughan about an accident near the airport. Some pedestrian... they think he was run over intentionally.
-You'd better drive him. He's a bit shaky. I'll follow in my car. Where is yours?
-At home. I couldn't face all this traffic.
-I thought that was you, up there.
-I wasn't driving. I'd left the car in the parking lot at the airport. Could it have been deliberate?
-One of your suitors?
-The traffic... where is everyone? They've all gone away.
-I'd like to go back. James...
-I think he'll be waiting for us at the airport
-After this sort of thing, how do people manage to look at a car, let alone drive one? I'm trying to find Charles's car.
-It's not here. Maybe the police are still holding it. Their forensic people...
-I don't think we should have come here. I'm surprised the police don't make it more difficult.
-Were you badly hurt? I think we saw each other at the hospital. I don't want the car. In fact, I was appalled to find that I have to pay a small fee to have it scrapped.
-You haven't told me where we're going.
-The airport? Why? Are you leaving?
-Not yet - though not soon enough for some people, I've already found. A death in the doctor's family makes the patients doubly uneasy.
-I take it you're not wearing white to reassure them.
-I'll wear a bloody kimono if I want to.
-So - why the airport?
-Do you want a cigarette? I started to smoke at the hospital. It's rather stupid of me.
-Look at all this traffic. I'm not sure I can deal with it.
-It's much worse now. You noticed that, did you? The day I left the hospital I had the extraordinary feeling that all these cars were gathering for some special reason I didn't understand. There seemed to be ten times as much traffic.
-I've found that I enjoy burying myself in heavy traffic. I like to look at it. Yesterday I hired a taxi driver to drive me around for an hour. "Anywhere", I said.
-We sat in B massive traffic jam under an off-ramp. I don't think we moved more than fifty yards. I'm thinking of taking up a new job with the Road Research Laboratory. They need a medical officer. The salary is larger something I've got to think about now. There's a certain moral virtue in being materialistic, I'm beginning to feel. Well, it's a new
-The Road Research Laboratory? Where they simulate car crashes?
-Yes.
-Isn't that rather too close...?
-Who is that? The announcer. Do I know him?
-That's Vaughan. He talked to you at the hospital.
-Oh yes. I thought he was a medical photographer, doing some sort of accident research. He wanted every conceivable detail about our crash.
-Is this part of the act or are they really hurt?
-Please finish your story.
-The junior pathologist at Ashford Hospital. Then the husband of a colleague of mine, then a trainee radiologist, then the service manager at my garage.
-And you had sex with all of these men in cars? Only in cars?
-Yes. I didn't plan it that way.
-And did you fantasize that Vaughan was photographing all these sex acts? As though they were traffic accidents?
-Are we allowed to park here?
-No.
-There's still a patch of blood there on the road. Did you see it?
-I saw the blood. It looks like motor oil.
-You were the last one I saw just before the accident. Do you remember? We made love.
-Can you drive?
-What is it?
-A complimentary ticket for a special stunt-driving exhibition. Definitely not part of the big auto show. There's a map in the packet and a note requesting you be discrete about the location.
-Really? What kind of exhibition is it?
-I suspect it involves reenactments of famous car crashes. You know, Jayne Mansfield, James Dean, Albert Camus...
-You're kidding.
-Serious. But you'll have to take your new friend, the female crash-test dummy. She dropped it off for you.
-What does he want from you?
-Hard to say.
-I'm going to leave now. Do you want a lift?
-Crash victim?
-Why are the police taking this all so seriously?
-Do you live here? With Seagrave?
-What exactly is your project, Vaughan? ~ book of crashes? A medical study? A sensational documentary? Global traffic?
-I've always wanted to drive a crashed car.
-You could get your wish at any moment.
-No, I mean a crash with a history. Camus' Facel Vega, or Nathaniel Nest's station wagon, Grace Kelly's Rover 3500. Fix it just enough to get it rolling. Don't clean it, don't touch anything else.
-Is that why you drive this car? I take it that you see Kennedy's assassination as a special kind of car-crash?
-It's very... satisfying. I'm not sure I understand why.
-It's the future, Ballard, and you're already part of it. For the first time, a benevolent psychopathology beckons towards us. For example, the car crash is a fertilizing rather than a destructive event - a liberation of sexual energy that mediates the sexuality of those who have died with an intensity impossible in any other form. To fully understand that, and to live that...
-What about the reshaping of the human body by modern technology? I thought that was your project.
-He must have driven through a pool of blood. If the police stop you again, they may impound the car while they have the blood analyzed. Vaughan kneels beside him and inspects the smears of blood.
-I need to see you, Ballard. I need to talk to you about the project.
-Hello, Letitia. I'm Dr. Emlee, and I have some questions to ask you...
-I did this already.
-I'm the only doctor making rounds this morning.
-Well, I don't have hallucinations. Honest.
-This doctor, was he tall, with dark hair?
-I'm afraid Lhe's not a doctor.
-Psychologist, therapist, whatever.
-Patient.
-What kind of place is this?
-I apologize for the inconvenience, but I must ask you some...
-I want to see my mother immediately.
-We discourage family visits for the first 48 hours after an emotional trauma like the kind you've experienced.
-Do we have to talk about this?
-The medicine's still bothering me. It feels like I have cotton wrapped around my brain.
-The question, Letty, is how are you feeling?
-I couldn't really say anything because of that fraternizing rule.
-Well, Letty, this does present a liability issue for the hospital.
-I'm a grown woman, Dr. Emlee. I can take care of myself.
-What about Michael? Do you know the extent of his...
-I know Michael's a schizophrenic, and Mrs. Hallstrom's manic- depressive, and John Lockyer has episodes of psychosis, and I heard a rumor that you suffer from delusions of grandeur.
-Go ahead and put the guard back up, Letty. But you need to know what you're dealing with.
-I don't need a lecture. I care about Michael.
-Look, I know he's almost through with treatment here. And, he's on medication.
-Drugs can help suppress symptoms. But lots of patients stop taking them when they're on their own because the side effects are so harsh. And, Michael's condition is often worsened by periods of stress. He's been in and out of...
-First you tell me to do what I want to, then you tell me to stop.
-But what I really can't believe is that I'm starting to actually miss work.
-Have you been in contact with the principal about your job?
-I thought about calling, but I want to wait until I know when I'll be out.
-Then, you should call.
-What?
-I think it's about that time, Letty. The charges against you have been dropped, the drugs have evened out and you seem to be dealing with your life quite well.
-So, we'll meet every Tuesday and Friday. And if you have any kind of emergency, you can page me.
-OK, good. That's good. Thanks an awful lot for everything, and for coming down here to see me off.
-It was just a little going-away gesture.
-I have a going-away gesture for you, too.
-What's up with you?
-Just go ahead and tell us.
-No, really. Tell me about the promotion.
-She says she won't even come if Dad brings Monica.
-How?
-I'll talk to her, and to Dad, too. A few wisely-chosen guilt tactics and they'll be ours.
-Maybe.
-Oh, wait a minute, now I see where you're going.
-Please, Letty.
-Maybe, though. Maybe it would work. I could throw you an engagement party maybe.
-You know what, Ruthie? I better get back to my class, OK?
-And the party?
-Where's the old bag I sometimes call Mommy?
-What do you think of this one?
-Things have been kind of stressful lately.
-Yeah, everything's under control.
-What about the engagement party?
-Everything's ready for tomorrow night--except the artillery.
-What about this one?
-You look beautiful.
-Really?
-Hi, Mom.
-Go on, Letty. I want to see it on you.
-How can I help?
-Paul, can you hand me the olives? Ruth, I need you to, what was it?
-Fuck me.
-What's all the dreck?
-Sage, rosemary... Les Herbes.
-It'll be fine.
-Letty, dinner's almost ready. The souffle...
-I can't believe you finally gave me the shirt.
-Loaned you. And it's only 'til you get out of here.
-That settles it. I'm never leaving.
-I can hardly wait 'til you're free. Planning the wedding without you has been a disaster.
-You're slowing.
-What do you think?
-Ecru.
-Do we have to talk wedding details?
-What's his name, Letty?
-I don't think people even noticed. I thought the ceremony was perfect.
-You did the right thing.
-Oh, Ruthie, what am I going to do?
-You don't have to make any decisions tonight.
-But what am I going to do?
-Do you want to go see him? I'll take you if you want to go.
-I was so sure. I really thought it would work. We have plans, Ruth.
-How wonderful, darling. What does that mean for you?
-I'll be running it three days a week, and...
-Will you get time off to do that?
-Are you sure, Dear?
-My goodness. A wedding. My goodness.
-Tell us every detail.
-Has Paul heard about his promotion?
-Oh no.
-Paul could pop the question at any time.
-Mom, please.
-I gather he's late as usual.
-I'm here, Sweetheart. I'm here. It's going to be OK.
-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
-Oh, Letty, what happened?
-Mom, I was there, and I just, I was so... They didn't have the olives, and I, I got so upset. I don't know how it happened.
-I've talked to Doctor Emlee, and he says...
-I'm so glad to see you. You can't believe the people in here. They've got patients posing as doctors...
-Everyone says it's the best facility in the area for this sort of thing.
-Maybe I should talk about this with Ruth, or Paul.
-Yes.
-But what about Beast? Who'll...?
-Ruth's already taken him home.
-And my class. It'll be hard to find a good substitute. And what about my math program?
-I'll see you soon.
-Tomorrow?
-It's so good to see you, Sweetheart.
-You too, Mom.
-Which flowers did you order?
-We haven't. I wanted to talk that over with you, too.
-Oh, OK, well, better to choose the table cloths first anyway.
-We aren't allowed to wear jewelry in here, Mom.
-I haven't had a crush since I was
-I hear this Michael fellow is schizophrenic.
-Mom, please.
-Don't forget that Paul's a promising young attorney who loves you very much...
-I'm only looking out for you.
-Must you walk so quickly?
-I'm so thankful you'll be leaving next week. If you want me to pick you up, I will.
-Mom, we agreed. You can visit, but you're not allowed to mention Michael.
-Honestly, Letty.
-Michael just got a job. Couldn't you congratulate him?
-I will, Dear. I promise. Why McDonald's?
-I'm going to take that as an honest effort at being open minded.
-Don't be fresh.
-I'm really not that hungry.
-Letty, you should be in bed.
-There's a spider in my room.
-Yeah?
-It's got a green dot on its back. I can't go to sleep with it watching me.
-It had this red spot on its back.
-Green spot.
-I don't know why you feel you have to lie, Letty.
-Lie?
-If you feel lonely, or need to talk, all you have to do is say so.
-To talk? Well, OK, that might be good.
-I don't mean to go on and on like this.
-You can only do what feels best to you now.
-You've been so great. I just feel a lot clearer about things.
-Do you mind if I call you Letitia?
-Letty.
-First off, Letty, can you tell me where you are?
-I answered these questions last night.
-No, 79. Sorry, this makes me nervous.
-Chair, cup and ball.
-Let me shift gears here a minute... Do you ever hear voices that other people don't hear or see things they don't?
-No.
-Yes? Go right ahead.
-How do you sort it--by lace and cotton?
-By color.
-What if it's got a pattern?
-A while, I guess.
-Hey there. They're showing "Groundhog Day" if you...
-You took bets on my diagnosis?
-It's no big deal. We all compare.
-Don't take it personally.
-You have no right, no right to take the worst thing that's ever happened to me and make it into some kind of game.
-Stop acting like you're someone special. You're just like the rest of us.
-What are you looking to read?
-But you're checking it out.
-You missed out on some great broccoli florets at dinner.
-I wasn't hungry.
-John even managed to lob a load of mashed potatoes into Mrs. Hallstrom's milk.
-Finally. I was getting tired of watching him try every night.
-Was it bad news--the visit from Peter?
-He asked me to marry him.
-Very romantic setting.
-It was romantic. He's very romantic.
-What have you done with the ring?
-Guess which hand.
-Enough with the abracadabra.
-Guess.
-Really, this isn't funny.
-For a price.
-Good God.
-A small price.
-I won't do your portion of kitchen cleanup.
-No.
-We're supposed to be asleep.
-We'll get caught.
-Nervous? Scared? Worried you're not fit for a caper of epic proportions?
-Don't be ridiculous.
-A daisy for the lady.
-The lady knows this is a dandelion.
-Thanks. Where've you been all day?
-I'm not allowed to see you anymore.
-Really? Me too.
-I had to sneak by the guards to get here. They say you're highly unstable, have a depressive personality, and may hold back my own recovery.
-Wow. I'm bad news.
-What's my rap?
-Really, though. My thoughts go haywire sometimes.
-Shocking, huh?
-Sure. But I took out a whole grocery store.
-I wish I could have seen that.
-I'm starting to think that everyone's crazy to some extent.
-Why in the world did you let me start talking in metaphors? That's no way for us to break up.
-You must have thought about it. Everyone does.
-I just want to see Beast. Where would you go?
-The mission up in Santa Barbara.
-No way.
-What else would you do?
-I'd like to drink a bottle of red wine with you and then make love to you and spend the whole night together. And we'd get up in the morning and spend hours lounging around and reading the paper.
-And we'd eat Spaghetti-O's in bed from the can.
-How can you even mention Spaghetti- O's after eating Grandma Rosa's dinner tonight?
-I have a terrible confession.
-Tell the doctor.
-Then it's over.
-It's a good thing my family loves you.
-Your family just met me.
-You're right. I guess I was projecting. What I should have said is, "It's a good thing I love you."
-Do you?
-I do.
-Michael, I...
-It's OK. You don't have to say anything.
-John and Nurse Gates are waiting for you.
-Oh, right. I'm ready. How do I look?
-Well?
-Tell me all.
-I was brilliant, or at least boringly sane.
-So there were no problems?
-Not a one.
-Just checking.
-I saw Paul leaving. Did you do the dirty deed?
-Yeah.
-So, it's over?
-Furnished?
-No, I need some serious household advice.
-First off, you'll need to go to Target. And, let's see, what should you buy?
-I better make a list.
-Aren't you supposed to throw a bouquet or something?
-Where to?
-This is it -- 3B. Check it out.
-Wow.
-I love the pillows.
-Throw pillows, Letty. The sales lady said they're the latest thing.
-It's TV heaven.
-I was tired of watching what everyone else wants to watch. Now we can watch two shows at once.
-You've got to see the kitchen first.
-Do you like it?
-I love your apartment.
-What do you say we go out to dinner to celebrate?
-How can you not like the Top 10 List?
-I like it. But Headlines are better.
-Hey.
-Did I get spaghetti sauce on my face?
-Michael.
-Not yet.
-I'm supposed to meet the principal in half an hour.
-Good luck.
-Sounds good. Oh, and Letty?
-Yeah?
-Gosh, Letty, this is a great place.
-This must be Beast.
-I bombed. It's either work in the office or nothing.
-Sounds grim.
-Who ever said sanity was fun?
-It doesn't matter. It'll work out.
-Promise?
-Promise. As long as we have steak.
-The store was busy.
-You got wine. That's great.
-Would you mind if we just called it an early night?
-You go ahead and relax. I'll cook.
-I think I should go home.
-Are you OK?
-Four interviews. Four no-gos.
-The restaurant, too?
-That's OK. We can call and reschedule in the morning.
-Just promise you'll love me even if I end up in a job where I have to wear a blue polyester cap.
-You're going to miss the Top Ten.
-Hey, Letty. Mrs. Mayer.
-How may I help you?
-Aunt Lily is the one who married your father's cousin?
-No, that's Aunt Connie. Lily is the one who looks like a hooker.
-Oh. And, Harry, he's the one who likes magic?
-Aunt Lily?
-Something like that.
-When he could get time off from the restaurant business.
-Bye, Uncle Cort. What's with the lie?
-What is it? Are you OK?
-Always the drugs.
-What?
-I saw you talking to my Mom.
-What do you mean not taking your meds?
-Why'd you tell?
-Silly? Silly am I?
-Michael, take it easy.
-Silly, silly, silly.
-Don't upset my Mom. Don't you upset my Mom.
-I guess we need to talk.
-I guess so.
-I sure know what that feels like.
-And all the plans we have.
-I've been thinking I could try to visit you at night after work, and then there'd be more time on weekends to see...
-Like I've told you before I don't want you taking care of me.
-Someone has to take care of you right now, Michael. You tore up the apartment. You stopped taking your medications.
-But that wasn't me. I didn't mean to do that.
-Well then why'd it happen?
-I'm sorry. I didn't come here to blame you.
-I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
-What are we going to do?
-What do you want to do?
-I love you so much.
-Maybe we could just run away to Tahiti and live on the beach.
-Don't you have a magic trick or something to make this easier?
-Would that really be such a good idea for either of us?
-Just promise me you'll be OK, OK?
-I guess I should go now.
-So, another one bites the dust.
-It's not another one. It's my sister. Aren't you happy for her?
-Can I put these here for tonight?
-In there's better. It's kind of romantic, don't you think?
-Believe me, I know your feelings on the matter.
-My math program. The Superintendent said he'd fund it.
-Yeah?
-I was thinking dinner on Friday with James and Meg at the Saint Mark.
-Actually, I need to review the deposition questions tonight. Maybe tomorrow?
-Oh, ok. Maybe.
-But I thought if you don't mind, you could listen and see how I come across?
-What are you doing? You're going to be late.
-You don't have a fever.
-I don't feel like going to work today.
-But what about that math project?
-Paul, I just can't go. Is that OK with you or am I committing some horrible crime?
-Forget I asked.
-I'm sorry. I'm just...I'm so tired lately.
-Maybe you ought to see a doctor.
-It's just I've got those parent conferences, and I'm supposed to set up the math program by next week. And shopping for Ruth's dress and that, that engagement dinner.
-You can get out of the dinner.
-No, I can't. I've already convinced both Mom and Dad to come.
-I don't think so.
-Of course it will. Remember the big talent show you planned last year? And what about the Christmas benefit when Santa canceled at the last minute? But you still pulled it off.
-Yeah.
-You know what I think we need? Martinis. How about martinis to celebrate?
-What are you doing?
-Can you loan me a 20?
-Sure. Why?
-I'm going to the store.
-It's prettier here than I thought it would be.
-Yeah, I guess it's all right.
-Are you all right?
-That's a big question.
-I hope it wasn't something I did.
-Of course not, no. Is that why you're here?
-I think we need to talk about some things.
-Yes, I suppose so.
-No.
-Especially this last year.
-Especially now.
-I talked to Ruth a little bit, and I think it's about time...
-I know. We can't just keep going through the motions.
-Exactly. It's time to make decisions.
-You don't have to say anything else. I've known for a while that this was coming.
-I had to smuggle it in here. I guess you're not really supposed to have jewelry.
-Or be up past ten or fraternize with other patients.
-I hope you like it. It's a Marquis cut, 1.5 carats. They had one with emeralds around it, but this was simpler, more classic in its lines. Letty?
-No, you've done a perfect job.
-Sure. We'll save the formal announcement for when you're out. I already told your mother. I hope you don't mind.
-No, no.
-So will you?
-What's so urgent? You've got me worried.
-You can tell me anything. Do you want to postpone the wedding? Is it too much pressure?
-No...
-You what?
-I don't mean to hurt you. I know this is a terrible thing. And I have really loved you.
-Whoa. Whoa. Have really loved me? Letty, it's natural to be nervous. But we're going to work through our problems.
-I've met someone else.
-Who?
-It doesn't matter who.
-Have you been seeing another teacher?
-No.
-It's a doctor, isn't it? That's unethical. I'll have him rung up on malpractice charges so fast his head will spin.
-Of all the crazy things. I understood when you dropped out of law school. And during this whole mess, I've tried to be supportive. But, really, Letty, what can you be thinking?
-I love him.
-You're going to throw away our life together for some shared experience with a looney-tune that you misguidedly think is love?
-Here's the ring.
-I'm glad you agreed to see me.
-I'm just glad there aren't any hard feelings.
-Oh, none. None. I completely understand what was going on.
-Oh.
-How's work going? Are you back at school?
-Getting back.
-I heard about your friend.
-What?
-I heard your friend was back in the hospital.
-Our relationship meant a lot to me, too, Paul. But it's over. And Michael being in the hospital doesn't really change things.
-I think I've heard this speech before.
-I've got a deposition that I really need to get cracking on, so if you don't mind...
-The Superintendent was just getting ready to leave.
-Well, I understand. I know my behavior was poor.
-So, in light of how the parents feel, and the fact the students are doing so well with the substitute, I don't think I can put you back in the classroom just yet.
-Look, Gail, I've been a good teacher.
-I know, Letty. But the incident with Zach was frightening for the children. Now if you'd come to me, explained what was going on...
-Believe me, I wish I'd understood what was going on. I've worked really hard to get better.
-I'm glad you're doing well.
-It's a very nice letter. But I have to go with what's best for the students.
-What does that mean?
-I need someone to work on budget projections.
-Office work?
-All tapped out.
-How's it look?
-Shhh. They're coming to the cubic zirconium.
-I like those sapphire earrings myself.
-Mrs. Hallstrom, why don't you join my family for dinner. You'll love my Grandma Rosa.
-We're talking Matisse, Renoir, Monet. We know for sure they replaced Van Gogh's "Vase with twelve sunflowers" last week with a copy. It was on loan from the London National Gallery and they're not going to be very happy when they find out about it.
-So Bastaldi makes a deal with the Feds to trade up for his brother?
-Agent Hadley.
-Do you know who this is?
-Yeah. I figured I'd be hearing from you.
-What are you doing?
-You think I'm going to talk to you until I know if you're wired.
-Okay. Okay. I believe you.
-You killed her!
-No. You killed her. Manager remembers you going into her room. Your fingerprints were found all over the place.
-Bullshit! She was alive when we left her with you.
-You're fucked, Sami. You know it. That's why you're here.
-Look, I just want out of this nightmare. I don't know these guys. A few days ago I'm in Paris picking pockets and now I'm America's most wanted.
-Where are the tapes?
-I can get them -- but what do I get if I do?
-A pass.
-A pass? How you gonna give me a pass? A witness can put me at the crime scene.
-Witness' can be convinced they made a mistake. Without the murder weapon the D.A. won't have enough to prosecute you.
-They don't have a murder weapon?
-You want the tapes for yourself. You're going to sell them.
-I'm going to retire with a shit-load of money. Find me a small country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the States and live the good life.
-You didn't have to kill Sophie.
-Yes I did. Lose ends are messy.
-What about me? Aren't I a loose end?
-When this is over you can say whatever the hell you want. I'll be long gone. Besides, who's going to believe you? You're just a two-bit crook.
-What the fuck was all that about at the hotel last night? I thought we had a deal?
-You want the tapes for yourself. You're going to sell them.
-I'm going to retire with a shit-load of money. Find me a small country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the States and live the good life.
-You didn't have to kill Sophie.
-Zero. That's all I know.
-This is turning to shit. If word gets out of my involvement in this I'll go to prison.
-Listen, we know their names. They don't know the city. You'll find them. You're the FBI.
-I can't bring the Bureau into this. If I do the tapes become evidence.
-They're supposed to be evidence. That's why Bastaldi set this up.
-Fuck Bastaldi and his brother. These tapes are gold. Do you have any idea what Zammito would pay to get them back?
-I thought you wanted Zammito?
-Too many people know about my involvement in this.
-Uh... excuse me, but don't you need a warrant or something?
-Not today. Where are your friends?
-They left about a half hour ago.
-Where did they go?
-Hey man, you can't do that!
-Jesus. What kind of FBI agent are you?
-I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare. Now, if you don't want me to keep on hurting you, it's important that I believe you and right now I don't. So tell me, where did they go?
-Hello?
-It's Elvis...
-Who?
-It's me...
-Yes. We went to the address we were given and had to tie up the owner of the house who turns out to be some Mafia guy.
-You're there now?
-Oui.
-You're calling me on your cell phone, right?
-No.
-You're calling me on is phone?
-Oui.
-My number's going to show up on his bill!
-You've already robbed the safe?
-Oui.
-Where's your brother?
-Hey Daniel! Hello? Do you guys speak English?
-Uh, yeah.
-Thank you Marcel, for that... extremely redundant explanation.
-C'mon, Laurant, America?
-I thought I would accompany you to the airport to say bon voyage... and tell you that Marcel will be going with you.
-What?
-This is a considerable move up for you, Daniel. The temptation of having so much money might be too much for you.
-You don't trust me?
-Hello?
-It's Daniel.
-Daniel. Listen I'm afraid there has been a big--
--- I've got the tapes. If you ever want to see your brother out of jail do exactly what I say. Bring one million euros to your boat at six o'clock.
-A million! I don't have that kind of money.
-Don't bullshit me, Laurant! I know about the Van Gogh.
-I don't have it. That's why Vincent went to Chicago. They arrested him before he could bring it back.
-Good. I'm doing good. How you doin', Frankie?
-Good. I'm good.
-Mr. Maranzano sends his warmest regards.
-Can I offer you something. A drink? Coffee?
-No thank you.
-You sure? I just got a shipment of espresso from Sicily. Special blend. Can't find anything like it in the States.
-I'm good. Really.
-Okay. I understand you're interested in one of our properties?
-Yeah. That warehouse over on Merchant Street. The volume on our import business has risen dramatically. The proceeds this quarter will be supernumerary due to the --
--- Super what?
-Supernumerary. It means better than expected.
-Then why not just fuckin' say better than expected? Everybody knows what better than expected means.
-I'm taking a vocabulary course to enhance my communication skills.
-Okay. How much?
-I'm not here to negotiate.
-Why are you here?
-To tell you that we're interested in the property.
-You told me that on the phone. What the hell are you doing here? Showing off your communication skills? Go back to your people and tell them when they're serious to put a number on the table.
-I will relay the particulars of our conversation to Mr. Maranzano.
-Frankie, come in. Good to see you. You want something?
-I understand Bobby Beans came to see you today.
-Yeah. Seems Maranzano wants to talk about buying the Merchant Street warehouse.
-And?
-And nothing. He's just feeling us out.
-He's trying to get a foot hold in our territory.
-He sticks his toes in the water again, we'll cut 'em off.
-Business must be good if he can afford to buy up useless property.
-They're gonna be what?
-Supernumerary. It means better than expected.
-Someone else coming?
-Nah, that's just Tony's way of telling me Judge Judy starts in ten minutes. You ever watch it?
-Uh, no --
-You should. You can learn a lot about the criminal justice system on a program like that. Very informative. Stay and watch it with me.
-Oh Frankie, what's this I hear about your brother?
-He missed three weeks.
-Your own brother? You couldn't send someone else to do it?
-I did. Joey "Two Tons" and Nicky "The Rake" did the deed.
-But you were there?
-Why didn't you tell me about this?
-They knew who you were when they broke in your house?
-Yes.
-What is happening with the world? There was a time no civilian would touch a made man. Now every babbo in the world thinks he can get away with something. What did they take?
-Some cash. Jewelry. The other stuff I can replace, but there's a cardboard box... photos of my mother. They're the only ones I have of her.
-Either you are incredibly brave, or incredibly stupid. Which one is it?
-I guess we're going to find out.
-You rob an associate of mine... a friend and--
-I've got to tell you, Mr. Bonanno, This guy's an idiot. How he's lived this long is a mystery.
-I don't think it will be a mystery much longer.
-He's recorded every conversation he's had with you for years.
-I assume you want something?
-We've got a lot of people looking for us. We'd just like to go home.
-And for my help I would get what?
-Half the tapes.
-And the other half?
-I'll destroy them when we get back to Paris.
-I only have your word for that.
-I just want to get my people home. I know who you are and what you could do to me if I don't honor my word.
-I only ask so I can call you when the arrangements are made.
-This plane will take you to Canada. From there you can fly back to Paris.
-Thank you.
-Tonight?
-I don't know.
-For what?
-Laurant and Vincent were in business with Zammito.
-What kind of business?
-You know what makes a good get away driver? Being able to get away!
-Not a good idea. Someone gets a license number and it all leads back to you. Raymond, you'll steal one.
-Yeah. We just go home.
-We can't.
-No one has mentioned the part of the plan about us getting caught and going to prison.
-Forget the money! We've got bigger problems than the money right now.
-Why not just steal another one?
-Get that, will you?
-Why do I always have to answer the phone?
-Because you're the closest.
-Why is everything an argument with you?
-Raymond, grab the tapes. We're leaving!
-Why do I have to pick up the tapes.
-In English. Sami doesn't speak French.
-Hopefully no one.
-I just want you there in case there's trouble.
-And if there is, then Zero can kill someone?
-He said to go fuck yourself.
-We are being watched. Daniel grabs the binoculars and looks.
-Bastaldi's dead. He is fuckin' dead!
-You want Zero to kill him?
-I'm going to kill him myself!
-Bring me the scissors.
-Cut his pants up the leg to the groin.
-Turn on the flashlight.
-Do they come with batteries?
-You didn't buy batteries?
-I thought they came with batteries.
-I can't believe you didn't check.
-I bought everything you put on the list. Gloves. Pen knives. Flashlight. Batteries were not on the list.
-Sami, tomorrow you lift a wallet from someone who looks like one of us.
-What for?
-That's an excellent plan. Very comforting.
-Besides, we don't know the city and--
-You think it's smart to tell him we're French?
-That moron.
-It was an honest mistake. Ridgeway... Ridgeroad... Ridgeway Road.
-The deal is whatever Mr. Bastaldi says it is.
-Did you know about Bastaldi's deal with Zammito?
-No.
-You're sure?
-Fuck you! You know I'd never go along with something like this.
-Do I?
-You call being Bastaldi's lap dog better?
-I'm not a guy who is known for his patience and right now you're testing mine.
-We had a chance to walk out of Zammito's house.
-We all agreed to it. You had no way of knowing Bastaldi was setting us up.
-We still have to get out of here.
-This is Zero.
-After the outside alarm is off we go in through the bedroom window.
-We've got to be careful not to use our real names while we're in here.
-Good idea.
-It's not?
-How'd it go? I don't know. Daniel, how would you say it went?
-What's the big deal? It's not like I was on guard duty or something.
-You didn't think it was little suspicious that someone you only knew for a few hours wanted to sleep with you?
-They'll be waiting for us at the airport.
-You steal some money from a man he gets over it in time. But these tapes. He's never going to stop looking for us.
-It makes sense. I mean, do you really think he would come along if he knew we were being set up?
-All right, knock it off.
-Hadley --
-It's not your fault, Daniel.
-Okay. Airports, train stations, bus station are out. We know they're connected to the car rental agencies because that's where they picked up Raymond.
-Hello?
-What's he joking around for? He's been shot.
-Anybody hungry?
-What'd you get?
-What?
-Can I trust you, Sami?
-Hey, who warned you that they were coming up to the room?
-If they had taken us by surprise they would have gotten the tapes back. That would have left us with nothing.
-No, that would have left me with nothing because all of you would be dead.
-You haven't answered my question.
-Does it really matter what I say?
-I'm leaving you with my friends. I'm trusting you to do the right thing today.
-I will.
-Did you have to use that much explosive?
-I'll be right back. He gets out of the car and walks over to him.
-What do you want now?
-Guns. Can you get them?
-Man, I can get anything.
-Don't bullshit me.
-I ain't bullshittin'. I can get guns. I can get any kind of gun you want. But they ain't gonna help your sorry ass. You ain't been in town one day and already you got two of the toughest people in Chicago looking for you. How is that possible?
-I've got a way with people.
-I can see that. The man's car you stole. Raphael Ruiz. He's head of the 19th Street gang and one crazy motherfucker. And Frankie Zammito's got the word out he's looking for some French dudes. You're French ain't ya?
-I'm from Belgium.
-Yeah, I'd be from Belgium too if I was you. You know Zammito just put his own brother in the hospital? Broke his arm cause he was late on a debt. I mention this to illustrate the kind of people who are lookin' for you.
-Why haven't you turned us in?
-And, uh, I'm going to have to charge you a commission... kind of like a brokerage fee.
-How much?
-A thousand dollars?
-Yeah?
-It's me.
-Hey you guys are becoming famous. I was just watching the news and--
--- Did you set it up?
-Yeah. All set. Tomorrow morning. Ten o'clock. Room 211. Barclay Hotel on River Street. Oh, and due to your recent notoriety and the heat that comes with it, I'm going to have to increase my brokerage fee to twenty five hundred.
-We had a deal.
-We had a deal before you and your friends became the new poster boys for crime.
-There's ten grand in here. It's yours. I'm going to call you again. There's one more thing I need you to do.
-What?
-Okay, we're square now, right?
-Maybe you should call the police.
-Hey, idiot -- I've got stolen wheels and a stolen radio in the car.
-I just thought that--
--- you stole my cousin Enrique's car.
-Hector, don't interrupt me.
-He told Enrique he didn't know anything about his car.
-Tell me the truth Hector... do you think we'll find my car?
-What'd I tell you? Huh, Vinny? What'd I tell you when you came to me for money? Didn't I ask you not to do it? Did I not say that? What'd I say to him?
-You said don't do it, boss.
-Hey boss, it's not a science.
-They were all French guys.
-French guys? You mean like from France?
-Yeah, French guys from France.
-What'd they take?
-Everything.
-Everything?
-Everything.
-Boy, you must be pissed.
-Well, you know, when five guys break into my house in the middle of the night, stick guns in my face, tie me up and steal from me... it does irritate me.
-Well, I must say you're handling it very well.
-You know why I'm handling it very well? Because you're going to get these guys for me.
-Okay boss. Where are they?
-If I knew where they were you wouldn't have to find them, would you?
-You didn't say find them. You said, "get them."
-Just find them!
-But we ain't had nothing to eat all day boss.
-Can you believe that guy? What a moron.
-Good song though.
-What'd you guys find?
-Dead bodies. The ones in the Lincoln are your... associates.
-And the other car?
-Some French guy. At least that's what his passport said. You know Joey, I shouldn't be talking to you about this.
-Are you forgetting who supplements your income?
-No. It's just that the French guy had a gunshot wound on his neck. So, this is a homicide. Are you guys involved in this?
-Yeah. I'll come down and make a full confession later. Right now, tell me what else you found?
-What hotel?
-The Holiday Hotel.
-What room number?
-I don't know. I didn't look.
-The map said to go left.
-Yeah and if you turned it around it would say to go right.
-There has to be.
-I'm telling you I've pulled out everything in the safe. There aren't any jewels.
-What do we do?
-I was told to take what we have and go.
-They don't have a wine list.
-There's an exterior alarm system. There's also another one in the hall that leads to the bedroom with a motion detector. The control panel is in the bedroom.
-What about transportation?
-No, I didn't.
-Bastaldi got the address from you, yes?
-Yes.
-And he gave it to us. 145 Ridgeway Road.
-I'm Sami. Marcel sent me.
-What is it you do, Sami?
-You know, a little of this, a little of that. I've boosted cars, stole radios, run a few scams. Right now I'm into pick-pocketing.
-I see. A master criminal.
-They don't serve wine here.
-What kind of restaurant doesn't serve wine?
-This kind.
-I don't know. Maybe if we did just leave --
-No wonder Zammito didn't want us to walk out with this stuff. He's planning on killing Bonanno and taking over the family.
-I knew this was a mistake! I knew it last night when you asked me to go along with this. I could hear that little voice in my head saying, "don't do it! Don't you do it!" Jesus, why don't I ever listen to myself?
-This is bad. This is really fuckin' bad. Am I the only one who sees how bad this is?
-Hey, it's not your picture on the TV, it's mine. So, try to be cool.
-Don't tell me to be cool! We were supposed to be in and out. In and out! In the last twenty four hours we've managed to get the Mafia... the FBI... the Chicago Police Department and a group of Latin gang members after us. I haven't left out anyone, have I? I don't think so, because we've already pissed off everyone in the fuckin'
-We've got to get out of here.
-Maybe I'm missing the obvious, but why aren't we leaving town? Any place has to be safer for us than Chicago.
-Oh, man... this is bullshit! You can't trust anyone these days.
-I am not comfortable with this. I'm not a good liar.
-I'll drive.
-I'm the driver.
-This is a car. I think this is the best American car I've ever driven.
-I knew I should have driven.
-When we get to the next corner jump out.
-I'm not going to leave you.
-A Black Panther was a member of an African American militant group in the sixties, Marcel. I think you're referring to The Pink Panther.
-Pink panther, black panther. Who gives a shit? And I don't remember asking you a God Damn thing, you little turd.
-There's no reason to be abusive. You're projecting your anger on me as a defense mechanism.
-What the hell is he talking about?
-I'm talking about human beings communicating openly and honestly.
-No. How much?
-How about Canada?
-Going somewhere?
-Today's your lucky day, Sami.
-Yeah, I can see that.
-Normally I'd be breaking your fingers right now, but I'm going to give you a chance to make enough to pay me back and have some extra for yourself. We have a group going to Chicago to do a job. You're going with them.
-Me?
-You lived there. You know the city.
--- I want to be Elvis.
-It's my idea.
-C'mon, I look more like Elvis than you do.
-We have a problem. Problem isn't the right word. Dilemma. No that really doesn't describe -- Do you know who that is?
-Mr. Taylor?
-Why would they want us to rob the Mafia?
-"Vase with twelve Sunflowers."
-You guys used to work together?
-It's good.
-God, I want to go home.
-This is great. After everything we've been through we've got eight hundred euros and an autographed baseball.
-The baseball is mine.
-Fine. All of you want to be angry? Be angry... but I'm the one who took the ball and that makes it mine.
-No.
-Give it to me, Sami.
-How's my brother?
-He's over at St. James. They had to put two pins in his arm.
-Who is closer to the wall, Joey or me?
-Get in the car.
-What happened?
-They sort of got away.
-Anybody know about that car outside?
-Yeah. It's mine.
-No. It's mine.
-The hell it is.
-I'm telling you that's my car! And someone's gonna pay for it!
-And I'm tellin' you it ain't! Now, turn your taco-eating ass around and get the hell out of here.
-Fuck you, grease-ball!
-Mr. Zammito?
-Uh huh.
-I represent a person who wishes to remain anonymous, but is aware of your current financial problems with your brother.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-I understand. The person who sent me wishes to help you.
-How?
-Yeah.
-It's yours. A gift. A gift you could give to your brother... or anyone you owe money to as partial payment.
-No shit?
-I am Raymond. Thank you for allowing us to stay here.
-No problem, man. Hey, you wanna hit?
-Oh, Pepe Le Pew. He is very funny and quite well known in France.
-Yeah, I dig him.
-How are we going to do that?
-I would like to thank you for your hospitality. If you are ever in Paris here is my number.
-He speaks about himself in the third person?
-I'm glad you didn't get something flashy.
-I think we went the wrong way.
-Holy shit.
-How do we know what room she's in?
-The money isn't here.
-I said knock it off! Now as far as I'm concerned you two girls can bitch slap yourselves silly when this is over, but right now we've got to figure out what's going on.
-You're not helping.
-I say we make him pay first. After that you can do whatever you want to him.
-The new Beaujolais' come out in France next week. You like wine?
-I'm more of a whiskey drinker myself.
-J&amp;B?
-Glenmorangie.
-Algeria.
-And you don't speak French?
-Well, you know, not all Algerians speak French. It's a matter of what school you went too. Me I never really --
-You put a loaded gun in your bag and brought it through customs? How stupid is that?
-I can't even hear myself think.
-They send us to Zammito's house. The FBI is right across the street watching the whole thing, but they don't move. A crime is going down and they don't move. Why? Because they were waiting for us to come out so they could arrest us.
-What does arresting us get them?
-It has to be at Sophie's. She didn't have time to go anywhere else before she came here.
-And how do we do that?
-They killed our friend. It's personal now. Besides, if we do that, then Julien died for nothing. The tapes are the key.
-I wasn't expecting this many of you. I've got a few sleeping bags you can use.
-When do we go?
-You ever hear of jet lag?
-You like shoes?
-No, I like the bag. It would be good for the job tonight.
-So, how did you get hooked up with these guys?
-Just lucky I guess. How'd you start working for the Bastaldi's?
-The art world doesn't fully appreciate my talent yet. I needed some way to pay the rent. Laurant and Vincent pay well for information.
-So you arranged to have the people you worked for robbed?
-Casandra. Old girlfriend?
-Something like that.
-Did she break your heart?
-Something like that.
-It looks old. Did you get it a long time ago?
-You ask a lot of questions.
-That's how you get to know someone. Did it hurt when you got it?
-I don't remember. I was drunk.
-You got it in a bar?
-No. I got it in prison. I went in for three years. When I came out she was married to my best friend. Happy?
-Sorry. I didn't mean to pry.
-It's okay. It was a long time ago.
-Who's gonna see it there?
-Can't sleep?
-No.
-I'm sorry things went so wrong today.
-What are you doing?
-I thought I'd listen to some of the tapes. See what's so important that a mob guy has to lock it away in his safe.
-Sounds boring.
-I really thought we had something special going. I can't tell you what a disappointment you've turned out to be.
-Who are you waiting for?
-Why?
-Frankie, I --
-Jesus, Frankie, I'm your brother!
-She seems pleasant enough.
-She doesn't know. She thinks I fell down the stairs.
-So, I just come by to see how you're doin'?
-You broke my arm. How the hell do you think I'm doin'?
-Yeah. I mean besides that. They treating you all right? Food okay?
-Yeah. I'm going home today. What do you want, Frankie?
-I don't want anything. I just wanted to say... that I may have... overreacted a little the other day.
-A little?
-Yeah. I mean, you are my brother and... well I should have found another way of expressing my disappointment. So, I've decided to make it up to you.
-You gonna forget about the money I owe you?
-What's this?
-A car.
-Oh really? Thanks. I thought it was a sewing machine. What the hell is it doing here?
-It's for you.
-For me? What am I going to do with a piece of shit like this?
-I don't know. Sell it. It's gotta be worth something. Someone gave it to me. C'mon Frankie, I'm trying to make good here.
-Okay. Okay.
-You're back!
-How's the arm? Still sore?
-Much better. You've been gone so long.
-Li Mu Bai is coming to stay the night.
-She's crazy. You should have killed her.
-I didn't have the heart.
-Who are you?
-I don't care about your sword.
-Why were you spying on the Yus?
-I'm looking for someone. Jade Fox. I'm a police inspector from Shaan Xi, Gen Su district. Jade Fox is a master criminal. I hear she infiltrated the Yus. She must have come with them when they transferred here. But with Yu's reputation, I can't just go in and accuse her.
-This Jade Fox is a woman?
-Yes.
-Then leave her to me.
-Isn't it a bit too late to be out? You've brought me the sword?
-Where's your master?
-Do you think you are a real master?
-Like most things, I am nothing. It's the same for this sword. All of it is simply a state of mind.
-Stop talking like a monk! Just fight!
-Then tell me where Jade Fox is.
-On guard!
-Go ahead.
-Why should I? You need practice. I can teach you to fight with the Green Destiny, but first you must learn to hold it in stillness.
-Why do you want to teach me?
-I've always wanted a disciple worthy of Wudan's secrets.
-And if I use them to kill you?
-Who are you? Why is the Green Destiny in your possession?
-What's it to you?
-My name is Li Mu Bai. The Green Destiny is mine. Jade Fox can't be your master. Where did you learn that "Xuan Piu" move?
-I'm just playing around.
-Tell me, who is your master?
-You're home late... or should I say early?
-Why are you still here? You killed a policeman. You should leave! You'll bring ruin on my whole family.
-They wouldn't have found me if you hadn't stolen the sword. Like a little girl, you thought stealing would be fun? You, too, are responsible for that death. Come with me. You don't want to waste your life as the wife of some bureaucrat. Denied your talent... As a master and disciple we will rule.
-I'll never live as a thief!
-You're already a thief.
-That was just for fun. How can I leave? Where would I go?
-Wherever we want. We'll get rid of anyone in our way. Even your father.
-Shut up!
-It's the Giang Hu fighter lifestyle... kill or be killed. Exciting, isn't it?
-I owe you nothing.
-You think you've been teaching me all these years from the manual? You couldn't even decipher the symbols!
-I studied the diagrams. But you hid the details!
-You wouldn't have understood, even if I had tried to explain. You know... you've gone as far as you can go. I hid my skills so as not to hurt you.
-If I hadn't seen you fight with Li Mu Bai, I'd still be ignorant of all you've hidden from me.
-Master... I started learning from you in secret when I was 10. You enchanted me with the world of Giang Hu. But once I realized I could surpass you, I became so frightened! Everything fell apart. I had no one to guide me, no one to learn from.
-Hello. What is your name?
-In that case, perhaps we could be of assistance.
-Don't bother.
-You don't seem to understand.
-Are you related to Li Mu Bai?
-Please sit.
-I've made you silk pajamas. Do you want to change into them?
-Put them down.
-I heard you met Shu Lien today.
-Do you know her?
-I'll socialize with whomever I please.
-I'm tired now.
-Go to bed then. Miss has grown up, and is getting married soon. God knows what the future will bring.
-It will be just the same. Enough! I'm tired.
-This spells trouble.
-It's heavy for such a thin piece of metal!
-The handle is heavy. And the blade is no ordinary metal. Still, the sword is the lightest of weapons. You're just not used to handling it.
-But I have had much practice. As a child in the West, a platoon lived with us. They'd let me play with their weapons. The scabbard is so beautiful.
-Beautiful but dangerous. Once you see it tainted with blood, its beauty is hard to admire. It's 400 years old.
-Exquisite! You said it belongs to...
-My friend Li Mu Bai. He's given it to Sir Te as a gift.
-Li Mu Bai! The famous warrior? Why would he give his sword to Sir Te?
-You're too young to understand.
-Yes, I am. But I prefer the machete. Certain moves, however, call for a sword.
-It must be exciting to be a fighter, to be totally free!
-Fighters have rules too: friendship, trust, integrity... Without rules, we wouldn't survive for long.
-I've read all about people like you. Roaming wild, beating up anyone who gets in your way!
-Writers wouldn't sell many books if they told how it really is.
-But you're just like the characters in the stories.
-Sure. No place to bathe for days, sleeping in flea-infested beds... They tell you all about that in those books?
-You know what I mean. I'm getting married soon, but I haven't lived the life I want.
-So I heard. Congratulations. It's the most important step in a woman's life, isn't it?
-You're not married, are you?
-What do you think?
-No! You couldn't roam around freely if you were.
-I've missed you.
-How so?
-You're doing calligraphy?
-You write gracefully. Calligraphy is so similar to fencing.
-Please.
-Thank you for seeing me. I hear your wedding day is near. You must be overwhelmed by the preparations.
-I'm hardly doing a thing. The less I think of it the better. My parents are arranging everything. The Gous are a very powerful family. My marrying one will be good for my father's career.
-You are fornuate to marry into such a noble family.
-Am I? I wish I were like the heroes in the books I read. Like you and Li Mu Bai. I guess I'm happy to be marrying. But to be free to live my own life, to choose whom I love... That is true happiness.
-Do you think so? Let me tell you a story.
-About you and Li Mu Bai?
-Yes. Did you know I was once engaged to be married?
-No, really?
-His name was Meng Si Zhao. He was a brother to Li Mu Bai by oath. One day, while in battle, he was killed by the sword of Li Mu Bai's enemy. After, Li Mu Bai and I went through a lot together. Our feelings for each other grew stronger. But how could we dishonor Meng's memory? So the freedom you talk about, I
-Too bad for Meng, but it's not your fault, or Li Mu Bai's.
-I am not an aristocrat, as you are... but I must still respect a woman's duties.
-Don't distance us. From now on, let's be like sisters.
-You say she killed a policeman?
-Here you must be in proper attire.
-I'm just borrowing some clean clothes. I'm not staying.
-I'll give them to you.
-You, sister...
-Look at the trouble you've caused. Now you know what Giang Hu life is really like. If you think of me as your sister, let me give you some sisterly advice. You can run from marriage, but not your parents.
-They forced me to marry!
-Go back to them first. Then you can decide about Lo.
-You know about Lo?
-He really loves you. Come back to Peking with me. We'll find a solution.
-Where is he now?
-Li Mu Bai has made arrangements. He sent him to Wudan Mountain.
-You're working together to set me up! I'm leaving!
-How dare you accuse us? I always knew you had stolen the sword! I've done nothing but protect you and your family. And you're repaid me with nothing but contempt. Li Mu Bai himself spared you, and all you do is insult him. We wanted some peace and you've ruined it all! You're no sister of mine!
-Don't touch it! That's Li Mu Bai's sword.
-Come and get it if you can.
-Without the Green Destiny, you are nothing.
-You can't die! Tell us what poison you used! You can't die! Tell us the antidote! You can't let Li Mu Bai die!
-Take my horse and go to the compound. Give this to Mrs. Wu. She'll help you. Hurry!
-Stop it! You don't deserve the Green Destiny.
-Not another lecture! On guard!
-Let's end this here.
-What do you want?
-What I've always wanted, to teach you.
-Give it back!
-Kneel!
-Never!
-The antidote exists. She taught it to me. The formula is simple, but it takes time to prepare. Trust me. As you have helped me, let me help you.
-Lo?
-You shouldn't have come.
-Let's stop a moment.
-Give it back!
-Well, there used to be! What's your name? I'm Lo. The Hans call me Dark Cloud. I'm not that tall or big, but I'm quick as lightning.
-You've got quite a temper. It's better this way.
-You coward!
-No more hitting on the head! All this trouble for a comb?
-It's mine. It means a lot to me. A barbarian like you wouldn't understand.
-Not true. I can use it to pick fleas from my horse.
-By the way, I'm a real Manchurian.
-I'm sorry... I guessed wrong. I though you were a Han.
-Give me back my comb.
-I don't take orders from anyone.
-When I was a boy, one night, I saw a thousand shooting stars. I thought, where did they all go? I'm an orphan. I used to look for stars alone. I thought if I rode to the other end of the desert, I'd find them. I've been riding in the desert ever since.
-Out here, you always fight for survival. You have to be part of a gang to stand a chance. Slowly, your gang becomes your family. All that Dark Cloud stuff is just to scare people and make my life easier.
-So you're still that little boy looking for shooting stars.
-Your father's men are still looking for you. They're still out there, circling closer.
-Let them look.
-Don't send me back!
-Keep it safe. Return it to me when we are together again.
-I will.
-Go.
-Jen...
-Do you remember the legend of the young man?
-"A faithful heart makes wishes come true."
-Mu Bai...It's been too long.
-It has. How's business?
-Good. And how are you?
-Monk Zheng said you were at Wudan Mountain. He said you were practicing deep meditation.
-Yes.
-The mountain must be so peaceful... I envy you. My work keeps me so busy, I hardly get any rest.
-I left the training early.
-Why? You're a Wudan fighter. Training is everything.
-During my meditation training... I came to a place of deep silence... I was surrounded by light... Time and space disappeared. I had come to a place my master had never told me about.
-You were enlightened?
-No. I didn't feel the bliss of enlightenment. Instead... I was surrounded by an endless sorrow. I couldn't bear it. I broke off my meditation. I couldn't go on. There was something... pulling me back.
-What was it?
-Something I can't let go of. You are leaving soon?
-We're preparing a convoy for a delivery to Peking.
-The Green Destiny Sword? You're giving it to Sir Te?
-I am. He has always been our greatest protector.
-I don't understand. How can you part with it? It has always been with you.
-Too many men have died at its edge. It only looks pure because blood washes so easily from its blade.
-You use it justly, you're worthy of it.
-It's time for me to leave it behind.
-Come with me to Peking. You can give the sword to Sir Te yourself. It'll be just like old times.
-First I must visit my master's grave. It's been many years since Jade Fox murdered him. I have yet to avenge his death. And yet I'm thinking of quitting. I must pray for his forgiveness.
-Join me once you have finished. I can wait for you in Peking.
-Sir Te believes it's a ploy cast suspicion on Governor Yu.
-But something is going on at the Yu household.
-Jade Fox? Impossible.
-You always suspected she'd fled to the West.
-I didn't think she'd dare come back to Peking!
-Is there any place safer than under the nose of Governor Yu?
-So I shall avenge my master's death after all.
-Be careful. Sir Te requires discretion. Official business is difficult enough. Don't let personal feelings make it worse. And I don't know... even this poster... could be some sort of trap.
-No.
-It says Jade Fox is hiding at Yu's. On the night of the theft there was a brawl near Yu's. Were you involved?
-It was Bo, Sir Te's man. I hear he followed the thief to the Yus'.
-Have you questioned him yet?
-No, not yet...
-But your men are watching over Yu's compund?
-No, I'd already sent them home. You can blame me for losing the sword, but please trust that I'll get it back soon using my own methods.
-That's not what I meant. I don't care about the sword.
-What do you mean? Didn't you come back here for it?
-I don't know it was stolen until I got here.
-Then, why did you come?
-I admit, getting it back makes me realize how much I'd missed it.
-But it's not your sword anymore. You gave it to Sir Te.
-True. But I must borrow it for one last mission. Jade Fox must die at its edge. Did you know what you were hiding when you covered for that girl?
-My job was to get the sword back, without embarassing anyone. I wasn't about to ruin her life, or her father's.
-You did your job well. But, this girl... I saw her last night.
-I knew she would intrigue you.
-She needs direction... and training.
-She's an aristocrat's daughter. She's not one of us. In any case, it will all be over soon. You'll kill Fox, and she'll marry.
-That's not for her. She should come to Wudan and become a disciple.
-But Wudan does not accept women.
-For her, they might make an exception. If not, I'm afraid she'll become a poisoned dragon.
-It's not our affair. Even if Wudan accepts her, her husband might object.
-I thought by giving away the sword, I could escape the Giang Hu world. But the cycle of bloodshed continues.
-I wish there were something more I could do to help you.
-You think Jade Fox will show up?
-Don't you want to see her again.
-Shu Lien... The things we touch have no permanence. My master would say... there is nothing we can hold on to in this world. Only by letting go can we truly possess what is real.
-Not everything is an illusion. My hand... wasn't that real?
-Giang Hu is a world of tigers and dragons, full of corruption... I tried sincerely to give it up but I have brought us only trouble.
-To repress one's feelings only makes them stronger.
-We're close to your headquarters. Go home and check in.
-What about you?
-I'll look around and catch up later.
-What happened?
-Jade Fox drugged her. How did you get here?
-My blood will soon reverse its flow. It's the same poison she used to kill my master. There is no antidote.
-Mu Bai, hold on. Give me some hope...
-Shu Lien...
-Save your strength.
-My life is departing. I've only one breath left.
-Use it to meditate. Free yourself from this world as you have been taught. Let your soul rise to eternity with your last breath. Do not waste it... for me.
-Madam Te is certainly spoiling us with these wedding gifts. She's being so considerate.
-I'm sorry she's not feeling well enough to receive you today.
-We know who stole the missing item. If the thief returns it, I'm sure Sir Te will pursue the matter no further.
-That's good. Sometimes the help can't keep their hands to themselves. It's very embarassing.
-Sir Te knows that even well-meaning people can make mistakes... that can bring ruin to themselves and their families.
-But don't be too lenient.
-No mercy will be shown toward the murderer who turned up in Peking.
-A murderer?
-Yes. The very killer of Li Mu Bai's own master. Last night, she killed a policeman who had tracked her down.
-Maybe the murderer and the thief are one and the same.
-It's Jade Fox!
-You're mistaken. We're just street performers. We were rehearsing.
-They're gone.
-What does it say?
-If you surrender now, you'll suffer less. But if you resist, I won't stop until you're dead.
-This is Li's personal sword, a great hero's weapon! He is the only one in the world worthy of carrying it. It's too fine a gift. I cannot accept it.
-Sir Te! It has brought him as much trouble as glory. Help him to leave these troubles behind. Otherwise, he'll never be able to start anew.
-You've always been so good to Li Mu Bai and me. Please accept our thanks.
-Please do not be such a stranger. You'll stay the night as my guest. Now, Shu Lien... tell me something. And forgive me for prying. Your father was a great friend to me, and I think of you as my own daughter.
-Please, Sir Te, what is it?
-Li Mu Bai giving up his sword and his warrior days... maybe he's trying to tell you something?
-I don't know...
-Don't be coy. I've always known about your feelings for each other. All these years, it's a shame... neither of you is brave enough to admit the truth to the other. You're both wasting precious time.
-I beg your pardon. Li Mu Bai and I aren't cowards.
-Has Governor Yu ever seen the sword?
-Yes, though I doubt he's involved in this.
-But the sword could be in his compound.
-We must be careful. Governor Yu is a court official, and in charge of security. Any disturbance will cast suspicion on him. It might get Sir Te in trouble.
-This is a delicate matter.
-Sir Te, can you find some excuse to invite Madam Yu and her daughter?
-What do you have in mind?
-Sure it coulda. Funboy's not here, neither is T-Bird -- none of Top Dollar's number ones.
-You know, you sure got a hard-on for a guy that's guilty of zip on paper. Top Dollar runs Showtime; what's the matter, don't you like adult entertainment?
-This sack of shit is called Tin- Tin.
-Don't any of your little pals have real, grown up names?
-He was a runner for Top Dollar. Just muscle.
-And you're gonna tell me who.
-What in the hell... do you call that?
-Talent. Hi.
-Care for a hot dog?
-You buying?
-No onions though, okay?
-No onions?
-Whatever it is, the answer's no, Eddie. I'm too busy tonight.
-Speak up. Clear it with the Captain if you need a file.
-Just don't tell me you "owe me one." What file?
-Don't thank me. Your ass is already in enough trouble for this shit.
-Could be.
-Well, hello there...chocolate,
-Don't thank me.
-And I say I'm dead... and I move.
-Are you nuts, walking into a gun?
-Listen: Top Dollar. He "owns the street here." He will "erase my ass."
-You don't say.
-I know Top Dollar has turned your streets into his hell.
-Fucking A, my friend.
-You, my friend, are dead. I saw your body. You got buried.
-You died, man. I can't believe it but here you are. Last year, you and your girlfriend --
-I need you to tell me what you remember. What happened to us?
-You okay, man? I mean, what just happened.
-My name.
-I'm sorry as hell, man.
-Halloween is coming, soon. You will have Top Dollar if you watch for me at the Showtime, tomorrow night.
-Thank you. For giving a damn.
-It's done. ALBRECHT I figured as much. Did you cap off Funboy.
-Funboy had to leave this mortal coil.
-Yeah, among others. Hey, man -- you're hit.
-It's only a flesh wound.
-I mean, I've done what I came to do. It shouldn't hurt this much. But it will pass...
-They couldn't do anything for me.
-How 'bout the morgue?
-You sorta looked like you might need my help.
-This isn't your place. This isn't your fight. And I don't need your help.
-You're welcome.
-Leave here. Don't do this. I don't want you here.
-Don't interfere.
-Mom --?
-I told you you're not supposed to come in here.
-I was wonderin' where you'd gotten to -- Oh, Elly, honey, a cat. Here?
-He was a present. Besides, we're moving anyway. You said.
-At least it finally stopped raining.
-Hey, Darla -- before we die of old age, how about it --?
-Oh wow, oh wow, don't fucking do that, man. I nearly had a fucking heart attack.
-Fun -- look at that guy...
-It's just the dope, don't worry
-Fun, he's not going away; he's scaring the piss outta me!
-You look like a rock star without a job.
-My mom works over there. I'm waiting for her, but she's probably with him, right now.
-Who?
-Mister Funboy.
-Mister Funboy lives there?
-I can pick out a tune now and again.
-Can you play "Teddy Bears' Picnic?" It used to be her favorite.
-Does she have a name?
-Do you feel okay.
-No.
-You gotta go now, I bet.
-What's going on...?
-You brought flowers. As long as you don't forget her, Elly, she lives.
-She's dead. She's gone. And now you're just gonna go away and never come back, too. I hate this place; it isn't fair.
-I remember him! Here, Gabriel... here kitty... Gabriel... Is he still yours?
-Shelly would've wanted you to have it. This way, you'll think of her every time you see it...
-Now do you get to see her? Shelly, I mean.
-In a better place. I hope.
-I don't know if I can. But you have this... and you know where to come.
-What's goin' on, Elly?
-I went to see a friend of mine.
-Well, how's your friend?
-Chili dog for breakfast... it's original.
-Mom tried to cook.
-I know your friend, too -- the one that looks like a rock star.
-I don't know you.
-You're not a cop, either. What do you want him for?
-I'm looking for a good guitar man.
-You buying? He kinda wanders around. You'll see him if you pay attention.
-Little early from trick-or-treat, homie. This dick trying to bushwack me.
-A year ago. Halloween. A man and a woman. In a loft. You helped to murder them.
-Last Halloween, eh? Yeah... Yeah, I remember. I fucked her too, I think.
-You cut her. You raped her. You watched!
-I want you to tell me a story, Tin-Tin.
-Holy shit... you're dead, man...
-Top Dollar, you're the only one here still wasting good air...
-Five large, in the drawer right over there. I never saw you.
-Do you know what you destroyed?
-A year ago. A very nice lady circulated a petition. She died. Last Halloween. Answer yes or no.
-That's ancient history.
-Who gives a fuck! I'm a businessman. You gonna do me, then do me and shut you're face!
-You don't even remember...
-I never forget anything, dickhead. That building was a sweep-and- clear; the bitch was a nuisance with her goddamned petition. It got a little rowdy... end of story.
-Cute nickname, don't you think?
-I ain't got no fuckin' ring.
-Top Dollar.
-Another jolly nickname?
-You want those assholes, you want Top Dollar.
-T-Bird?
-Like the car. He hangs out with Skank. that little ass-hair, and they hang at the Pit -- hell, Funboy lives there. Ask Top Dollar.
-I believe our friend Elly call you Mister Crow. Please acknowledge; the mike will pick you up.
-I can see her.
-I wish to possess what you have now.
-I want the girl. Unharmed. Now.
-Sooner or later, my action were destined to bring me a genuine Fury. And it turned out to be you. At last. I appreciate your abilities as few mortals can. That's why I desire them.
-You're too late. There was a guy outside - on the stairs - you really need to talk to. But he turned to dust and blew away. I don't have any power for you to take.
-And how many lives have you destroyed?
-How the hell did you do that?
-Neither.
-Owwwaaaa -- fuck me! Look what you did to my sheets, you lame piece'a shit! AAAAaa! Goddd!
-Does it hurt?
-No, wait, no WAIT, that's too much, man, that's like overkill, nobody can take that much, you're wasting it -- !
-What the hell are you?
-Having fun yet? No? I'll give you a hint. Remember whatshername?
-Shelly?
-Miss her?
-Yes.
-Get it?
-Glad to see you're finally with the program.
-Bugger off to the graveyard, skull- face, I'm busy.
-Getting a little ambitious and extracurricular, aren't we?
-Go away.
-You need to learn to mind your own business or you'll never get where you think you're going.
-Shut up.
-Your job is done. You interfere with the living again.
-Do this thing and you will be vulnerable. The blood will not return. No powers. No reunion. Nothing.
-You'll be alone.
-Don't waste my time.
-Blow yourself, bigmouth.
-Coupla more rings... 24k.
-18k. Crap.
-...necklace... pearls...
-Nineteen bucks at Sears. Fake,
-What's this -- a little, ah, bloodstain, right? Fifty bucks for the box, and I'm doin' you a --
-Did you see an animal of any kind? Did you see a bird?
-What... the hell is that?
-That thing is poisonous.
-Give me a break. That guy's a wacko...
-I intend no slight to you, but I cannot find the English to adequately express just what he is. I suppose Western mythology would describe him as a Fury.
-Do you know of spirit assassins? You do know the dead can rise? Properly motivated, of course.
-Like some sort of zombie on a revenge trip.
-Mmm. But tonight I can take what is his.
-Who is only invulnerable so long as he cares about the dead. When he begins to care about the living, you'll find his heart can bleed... and I want it to bleed for me.
-We've got company.
-I've got him if you want him.
-No shooting.
-An unexpected pleasure.
-Bad news. Alot of action on the streets tonight, and nobody bothered to clear it with me. Tin- Tin got himself whacked.
-Who got himself what?
-One of mine. And it wasn't a standard hit.
-I had heard something like this. Describe it for me. The "hit".
-I was wondering if you could tell me anything... about a wildcat operative.
-I know of no one. But even if there is, I am sure it is nothing outside your capacity to deal with?
-Anybody violates my turf -- our turf -- I'll rip out there heart and show it to 'em.
-Sounds like our "Crow" is out-maneuvering you.
-"Our" Crow...?
-Come now. You've seen the graffiti -- all over the city in the few hors it has taken your men to drop like plague victims. What about your turf, Top? You don't seem to have ripped out anyone's heart yet.
-Do you think this childish machismo impresses me? When I was a boy in Saigon I watched my country change one block at a time, one building at a time. Whole lives erased. A way of life, polluted. Today, no one forces me to move. I use my powers to change your country, one block at a time, one building at a time.
-Nice speech. What's it supposed to mean?
-I'm Kathryn.
-Have we met?
-I don't think so.
-Did you know Sebastian well?
-You might say that.
-Now I remember. Annette Harrison. Your father's the new headmaster at Oakwood.
-That's right.
-Are you okay?
-I'll be fine.
-Thank you.
-Look, I know this sounds corny, but whenever I feel like I can't go on I... turn to Jesus and he helps me through the problem. Call me an anachronism, but -
-Oh cut the shit, Kathryn.
-Excuse me?
-You heard me.
-Who the hell do you think you are coming into my house and saying those things to me. My brother is dead, have some respect.
-Kathryn, I know all about you and Sebastian.
-Sebastian was a pathological liar. I wouldn't believe a word he -
-I have his journal.
-You what?
-His journal. He sent it to me the day before he died. Everything about you is in it. The blow jobs, the hand jobs, the menages, your bout with bulimia, the affair you had with your guidance counselor and how he gave you... eww. Let's see, then there's your coke problem... You still keep it in your crucifix, don't you? It's all in there.
-You didn't show it to anybody?
-Actually, I was planning on running down to Kinkos. Do you think you could give me ride?
-You can't do this to me. It could ruin me.
-He told you he's failing in love with you? I've never known him to say those words before.
-Really? I thought he said it all the time.
-Nothing.
-Is there a mutual feeling between you two?
-No. I mean. I don't know. What else do you know about him?
-Not a whole lot. We take some classes together. He's got a bad rep, but it's mostly bullshit.
-What do you mean?
-Well, a lot of people are jealous cause he's loaded.
-I don't know. I've been hearing some awful things about him.
-From who?
-Annette, how long have we known each other?
-Forever.
-You promise not to say anything?
-On my mother's life.
-So what year are you going into?
-Junior.
-Got a boyfriend back home?
-No.
-Why not?
-I don't know. Relationships seem too distracting. I'd rather concentrate on my studies.
-You a lesbo?
-Are you often this offensive on a first encounter?
-I read your teen beat manifesto.
-You did?
-I must say I found it rather appalling.
-That's a first. Most people praised me for it.
-Most people are morons. I mean who are you to knock what you've never experienced?
-I wasn't knocking anything. It's just my belief that people shouldn't actually experience the act of love until they are in love and that people our age are too immature to be in touch with those emotions.
-Oh really?
-Take yourself. You've slept with several women. Are you happier because of it?
-How do you know I've been with several women?
-A friend wrote me.
-Well maybe you should get to know the person before you judge them instead of listening to some bullshit gossip.
-Who the hell is taking the time to write letters, spreading this shit about me?
-It's not really important.
-Fine, forget it. It's obvious that we're not going to be friends.
-Why are you being so dramatic?
-Look, I've got a lot of problems and I'm trying to deal with them and the last thing I need is people spreading shit about me.
-Excuse me. Excuse me!
-You talking to me?
-Look, I know this is your house and all, but do you think you couid keep it down? I'm trying to read.
-What'cha reading?
-The Fountainhead.
-Great book.
-You've read The Fountainhead?
-Several times. I'm not as dumb as I act, you know. When Howard Roark makes love to Dominique Francon... most romantic scene in all of literature.
-Romantic? He rapes her.
-That's a matter of opinion.
-You need help.
-Why don't you come join me for a swim and we'll discuss it.
-At this hour? I don't think so.
-Oh come on. Quit acting like a geriatric and get in the pool.
-Gee, with an invitation like that how could a girl refuse.
-Please.
-Give me a minute. I'll be right down.
-You know it amazes me that someone as bright as you can be so horrible.
-What? Another letter from your friend?
-This is my favorite part. Even more treacherous and dangerous than he is charming and fascinating. He has never taken a single step or spoken a single word without some dishonorable or criminal intention. Every young girl he has successfully pursued has regretted it.
-You know you could at least have the decency of telling me who's badmouthing me so I might have the opportunity to confront them face to face. How do you know it's not some girl who's pissed off at me for breaking up with her?
-I sincerely doubt it.
-The last thing I need is you going into my room searching for this while I'm away.
-How's the water?
-About what?
-About what you said today in the stable. I'm not a happy person.
-I never said that.
-You implied it.
-Look, I didn't mean to give you a hard time.
-No, it's okay. I mean I look at you with all your morals and values and well, YOU seem to be happy in your choices. I envy you. No bullshit.
-Thank you.
-Seriously, you're amazing. You have everything going for you. You're smart, you're beautiful, you're determined. You're everything I want in a girlfriend.
-Shut up.
-I wasn't kidding. I'd like to take you out.
-Look, I'm flattered but, seriously it could never work.
-Why not?
-Do you deny that there's an attraction between us?
-I don't... I don't want to answer that... look we're friends.
-I'm sorry, but you're not my type.
-You're naked.
-That's repulsive.
-Need a lift?
-No thank you.
-How are you today?
-Give it up.
-Oh right, last night. I guess I owe you an apology.
-I'm not going to speak to you till you realize that you can't intimidate me.
-It was fine.
-I wish I could say the same for myself. I was up thinking about you all night.
-I thought we agreed that we were going to be friends.
-And that's a bad thing?
-I'm trying to better myself, but the one person who can help me is the same one pushing me away.
-I'm sorry, but I'm not here to be your savior.
-Well try this one on for size. I think I'm falling in love with you.
-You don't even know me.
-Don't you believe in love at first sight?
-Yes, but only when it's mutual. And this is far from mutual.
-Ouch. Do you think we could spend some time together this morning?
-I can't. I'm seeing a friend.
-Who?
-That's none of your business.
-How about tonight?
-I'm busy.
-Doing what?
-That's also none of your business.
-Tell me what to do, Annette. How can I win your heart. I'll do anything. I can't get you out of my mind.
-You truly want to do something to make me happy?
-Yes.
-And you promise to abide by it?
-Without question.
-Alright. I want you to leave and go back to New York.
-What?
-I'll leave this afternoon. Happy?
-No, not at all.
-Well, I was just calling to see how you're doing.
-I'm... I'm alright.
-How was your date?
-Well, I was just calling to tell you I was thinking about you and I miss you. I'll let you go.
-Wait, don't hang up.
-Okay?
-What are you doing?
-What are you reading?
-Of Human Bondage.
-Somerset Maugham.
-Yeah, it's pretty relevant considering my situation.
-Sure. Have a good night.
-Alone again. What are you up to today?
-I'm doing some volunteer work.
-Need any company?
-You? Volunteer? I don't think so.
-I don't know? Maybe I'd like it. I'm trying to change here. You could be supportive.
-Okay.
-It's weird. I actually feel good about myself. Can we do this again next week?
-Oh please.
-What?
-"I actually feel good about myself?"
-I do.
-You must take me for a real idiot.
-I don't.
-You're going to tell me that you had a good time with the old lady.
-That's okay. It doesn't make you a bad person.
-Yes it does.
-No, it doesn't. I'm happy you're being honest with me.
-I can't win with you.
-It's not about winning. You know what your problem is? You take yourself way too seriously.
-I do not.
-Lighten up.
-I am lighten. Can we drop this?
-Oh dear, are you actually laughing?
-No.
-Am I bothering you?
-My friend Monsieur Philipe is a friend of Florentino.
-Who's Monsieur Philipe?
-Bonjour Monsieur Philipe.
-You know what? I don't take it back.
-Why are you doing this?
-Because I'm in love with you.
-I thought you said we were going to be friends.
-I can't handle it. I can't keep my feelings bottled up like you. Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing for me? ... Tell me!
-I have feelings for you.
-Then what's wrong? I love you Annette. It's not like you have a husband, unless your married to Jesus.
-That's not fair.
-You really want to know?
-Yes.
-I just came to say goodbye.
-Where are you going?
-Back to the city. I may take off to Europe for the rest of the summer. I just can't handle it around here.
-I think that's for the best.
-Good for you.
-Sebastian, please. I don't want us to end on bad terms.
-How am I a hypocrite?
-Please don't go.
-Hi.
-I'm fine. I have to get going to my friends' house. Was it --
-Hi.
-Would you like a tour?
-This isn't working out for me anymore.
-It's not you, it's me. I'm completely fucked up.
-What are you saying?
-Why aren't you understanding?
-I love you.
-Why are you trying to hurt me?
-You don't know how to love.
-You don't even know me. The fact of the matter is there is some one I love. She's smarter, prettier... you don't even compare to her. The only reason I am here is because she wants us to be exclusive.
-But you knew this was important to me.
-It's a beautiful home you have here Mrs. Rosemond.
-Thank you, Annette. Chance Hill has been with my family for over sixty years. Does your family do much riding?
-My mother and I used to ride a lot, before she got sick.
-I'm sorry about that.
-My Grandpa, used to breed horses on his farm so I would come over and ride all the time.
-I'm familiar with a lot of breeders in the mid-west. What's his name?
-Ben Schwarz.
-Schwarz. Jewish?
-German.
-Unbelievable. Some fag, no offense -
-- none taken -
-- wrote a letter to this chick and saying shit about me.
-Any ideas who it could be?
-Blaine, if I knew who it was that person wouldn't be alive right now.
-Where did you say she's from?
-Kansas. Who the hell do I know in Kansas?
-Greg McConnell.
-The football stud?
-He's from Kansas City. I wouldn't be surprised if he was your rat.
-It would make sense. McConnell hates me. I fingered his girlfriend at the game last year.
-I don't think that bothered him.
-What do you mean?
-Let's just say Greg likes tackling tight ends on and off the field.
-Are you shitting me?
-I shit you not. McConnell used to sneak in my dorm room drunk every month. We'd go at it for a while, then as soon as he'd cum, he starts freaking out. You know - "What are you doing, man? I'm not a fag. I'll kick your ass if you say anything." It's like, for Christsakes Greg, you're gay, deal with it. The only
-Too bad he's in Kansas this summer.
-Not anymore. Football team started practice last week. He's already called me to hook up.
-Really. You think you could arrange a little get together with him tonight on my behalf?
-Hmmm. I do believe Bravo is showing Spartacus on television tonight.
-Outstanding.
-Don't think it's not going to cost you.
-I think he's telling the truth Valmont. Greg couldn't write a grocery list let alone a letter.
-Oh, I suck. I suck.
-Ronald is one of the few high school students attending Juliard. He's composing his first opera.
-It's based on the life of Doctor Martin Luther King.
-Well, I guess it's getting late. Please thank Kathryn for the use of her Steinway.
-I'll see you tomorrow.
-What are the boys like?
-Where did you find those?
-Margarita found them while cleaning your room.
-Those are my letters!
-I'm in the bath, mom.
-Well hurry up. I want to be at Mrs. Rosemond's before lunch.
-What was that?
-I'll call you later and we'll get together and plan your curriculum.
-So, rumor has it that you went on a date with Court Reynolds. I hear he's very nice.
-He's alright. He kept talking about this bulimic headcase he dumped over Fourth Of July.
-Really? Bulimic headcase.
-What a loser she must be. Anyhow, Court's invited me to the Hamptons for Labor Day Weekend.
-That's great.
-You think so? I don't know. I guess I'm just scared.
-What are you scared of?
-Ah duh. Boys. I've never even gone to first base with a guy. What do I do?
-Haven't you ever practiced with one of your girlfriends?
-Eww. No. That's gross.
-Are you for real?
-Do you want to learn or not?
-See that wasn't so bad.
-It was nothing.
-Let's try it again, only this time I'm going to stick my tongue in your mouth. When I do that I want you to massage my tongue with yours. That's what first base is.
-Okay.
-That was cool.
-Maybe you should try it on your friend Ronald sometime.
-What are you saying?
-Oh come on Cecile. He's crazy about you.
-That's so romantic. Have you responded?
-No.
-Well do you like him?
-I don't know.
-Cecile, we just made out in the middle of Central Park. You can trust me.
-Listen to me. Your mother must never know. Never.
-Okay.
-Did you hide the letters?
-Yes. They're in this antique doll house in my room.
-I want you to make me copies of his letters and bring them to me.
-Why?
-Cecile if there's one thing I'm great at it's love letters. With my help, he'll be eating out of the palm of your hand. Perhaps we can arrange a little get together for the two of you at my house.
-You'd do that for me?
-Of course I would. We're friends, right?
-Who is it?
-Calm down. Tell me what's wrong.
-Something awful happened last night.
-What do you mean?!
-I... I don't think you want to know.
-Cecile, you have to tell me.
-It involves your brother. He... took advantage of me.
-Does your mother know?
-If she knew, she'd kill me. It happened at your house last night.
-Why didn't you do something?
-I don't know.
-So, let me get this straight. You came over to our house late last night and he forced intercourse on you.
-Well... not exactly.
-He made you give him a blow job.
-No.
-If that's what you call it.
-Cecile, I think you're going to have a hard time crying rape if that's all he did.
-What do I do then?
-Well did you like it?
-Cecile, you had an orgasm.
-I did?
-I'm so proud of you. You're becoming a woman.
-Now listen. Now that you're on your way, it would be stupid of you to stop. Think of Sebastian as a tutor. Let him instruct you.
-I don't love him. I love Ronald.
-So? Don't you want to make Ronald a happy pappy? Practice makes perfect, Cecile. My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.
-But that would make me a slut. Wouldn't it?
-It's like a secret society.
-That's one way of looking at it.
-My father just took me on a trip to Australia.
-What year are you in?
-I'm what you would call a fifth year senior.
-But I thought high school is only four years.
-Excellent.
-You think he'll like it?
-What are you doing?
-Just taking your photo.
-I look terrible.
-I'm sorry that was out of line.
-I want to go home.
-I was just kidding.
-Okay, okay. I'll just call your mom and have her come pick you up.
-My mom? Don't call my mom.
-Please please please. I'll do anything. Just don't call my mom.
-Cecile, all I want to do is give you a kiss.
-And then I can go home?
-Just a kiss, right?
-What are you doing?
-You promised to let me kiss you.
-But -
-Want to join me?
-Am I suppose to be this sore?
-I like it better when I'm on top.
-Cecile. This is what I like to call quiet time. This is time when we reflect on what we've done.
-You think?
-Is it me?
-Where are you going?
-I'm taking a shower.
-Need any company?
-No.
-Want a blow job?
-Good night Cecile.
-Jesus. We've been at this for six months.
-I know.
-And you haven't made an ounce of progress.
-But you said you have the worst reputation.
-I do.
-Don't you want to change that?
-Let me tell you something, doctor. Chicks love a guy with a bad rap. They say they don't, but they don't mean it. They all think that they're the ones that are going to "save me." The trick is to let them think it's true.
-I think that's all the time we have for today.
-Same time next week?
-No. This is going to be our last session.
-Why? I like spending time with you. You know, you're quite attractive for a woman your age. You have killer legs. Killer.
-This isn't a joke. Your parents spend a lot of money to send you here. I'm trying to help you.
-You think you can come in here with that cute little smirk on your face and try and flirt with me. It doesn't work, Sebastian.
-It works a little.
-No it doesn't. I see right through you.
-You do?
-I hope for your sake you grow out of this immature phase. It's going to get you into trouble.
-My daughter, Rachel.
-Yummy.
-Don't even think about it. Rachel is an exceptionally well rounded young woman, who happens to be attending Princeton this fall. She's way too smart to fall for your line of b.s.
-Really? Care to make a wager on that?
-Good luck, Sebastian.
-What, nervous I'm going to win?
-Hi, mom.
-He told me he loved me and I believed him.
-Who told you?
-Alright honey, just calm down, take a deep breath, and step out of the circle.
-Nudie pictures, what do you think?
-Jesus Christ, how can you be so stupid?
-Oh baby... oh baby...
-Hey Blaine, did I leave my... holy shit.
-Greg, is that you under the covers?
-Whoa!
--- really drunk and blah blah blah blah blah.
-Please don't tell anyone. This could ruin my career.
-Annette Harrison? I don't know what you're talking about.
-Come on Greg. You're the only one who knows her. The truth will save you.
-Positive.
-Did you do everything I asked you to?
-Yes.
-You told her I never said I love you before?
-Yes!
-You told her that people are jealous cause I'm loaded?
-Yes!
-And you think she bought it?
-I'm pretty sure she did.
-Pretty sure or sure sure?
-She bought it.
-Is she with you?
-Who is this?
-Sebastian, you faggot. Is she with you?
-No.
-Where is she?!
-I don't know. Why don't you leave her alone.
-McConnell, I'm gonna out your ass in two seconds if you don't tell me where she is.
-I told you I don't know.
-One.
-Alright. She's staying with some friends of her parents. The O'Sheas. She caught the train twenty minutes ago into Grand Central.
-Pleased to meet you.
-What do you do? Tell her you love her.
-Hello.
-Ronald?
-Yeah?
-Hi Kathryn. Is everything okay?
-What's wrong?
-It's Sebastian. He's out of his mind.
-What do you mean?
-I think he's high on drugs. He hit me, then took off. I'm afraid to be alone. Please come over.
-And when I confronted him about his affair with Cecile he told me it was none of my business. Then when I said "Well what about Ronald," he said you were nothing more than a stupid... the n word and that you deserved what you got...
-And this happened before you and I hooked up?
-It's been going on for a while. Then he called me a disgrace to our family and that's when he hit me.
-Racist piece of shit.
-I'd be careful if I were you. God knows what he's up to.
-He doesn't scare me. I'll kick his ass in.
-Will you stay here for the night? You can leave in the morning. That's when my parents get back and --
-Cecile's attending Oakwood in the fall.
-Do you care to tell me what Mrs. White-trash and her stupid daughter are doing in my house?
-Lovely. How is your gold digging whore of a mother enjoying Bali? Zipping through my inheritance per usual?
-Oh, poor baby. Well you can relax. I have a mission for you.
-Sorry.
-In any event, my feelings were hurt when I learned that he had fallen for someone else. Someone chaste... pure... innocent.
-I don't find this very funny,
-So that's what this is all about. We'll get together and plan your curriculum.
-Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. When I get through with her, she'll be the premier Blow Job Queen of the Tri-State area and poor little Court's heart will be shattered.
-Why go through Cecile? Why not just attack Court?
-Because if there's an attack made on Court it could be traced back to me. I can't allow that to happen. Everybody loves me and I intend to keep it that way.
-I see your point... though why should I care?
-I need you to seduce our young Cecile. Introduce her to your world of decadence and debauchery.
-Sounds intriguing.
-Why not?
-Oh come on, Kathryn. It's too easy. "But I thought high school was only four years." I mean, please. She knows nothing. She's seen nothing. I could have her under the table at Au Bar sucking me off before the appetizer arrived. Go get one of those moron friends of yours to do it. I have a reputation to uphold.
-Oh but diddling the therapist's daughter is a challenge?
-I'm not interested in the latest dating tips from Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
-Jesus Christ, is she for real?
-Oh yes. I've read it over and over again. This baby's the real deal. Daddy's little angel. A paradigm of chastity and virtue.
-B.F.D. What do you plan to do? Fly to Kansas and woo little Dorothy.
-It just so happens we're not in Kansas anymore. Our little angel's father has accepted the new headmaster position at Oakwood. She's staying with my aunt up in Connecticut while Daddy sells his house. Can you imagine what this would do for my reputation? Screwing the new headmaster's virginal daughter before school starts? It will be my greatest victory.
-You don't stand a chance. Even this is out of your league.
-Care to make a wager on that?
-I'll think about it...
-Oh gee, your journal. Could you be more queer?
-What are the terms?
-If you lose, then that hot little Porsche of yours is mine.
-I'll give you something you've been jerking off about ever since our parents got married.
-Be more specific.
-In English. I'll fuck your brains out.
-What makes you think I'd go for that bet? That's a seventy thousand dollar car.
-You can put it anywhere.
-Even there?
-Fuck her yet?
-I'm working on it.
-Loser.
-Blow me.
-Call me later.
-You would not believe what--
-What's wrong with you?
-You ready for this? I've recently discovered that our good friend Mrs. Caldwell is the one who sent the letter to Annette urging her to stay away from me.
-Interesting.
-I now plan to devote all my energies to destroying the douche bag. Any luck corrupting her daughter?
-No.
-The plot thickens. It appears that Cecile has fallen for her music teacher.
-Ooo, I'm sure Mrs. Caldwell will love that.
-Not to mention Court Reynolds. Unfortunately, Ronald's moving with the speed of a Special Olympic Bobsledder.
-What's your plan of attack?
-I rat Cecile out to mommy. Mommy goes ballistic and ends their relationship. Boo hoo.
-I'm at your service.
-Thank you. Mmmm, that feels good.
-I hate when things don't go my way. It makes me so horny.
-Moving along quite well.
-Have you succeeded in your task?
-Any day now.
-Who are you calling?
-Before we go through with this, I just want you to be aware of the damage we're going to cause.
-Are you really? I mean, we've done some pretty fucked up shit in our time but this... I mean, we're destroying an innocent girl. You do realize that.
-You amaze me.
-I just had a nice chat with Cecile. I don't think she'll be giving you anymore problems.
-Yippy.
-Who are you spying on?
-That her?
-Yeah.
-Shut up.
-What's your problem?
-Nothing.
-She's really getting to you, isn't she?
-If you must know, yes. I don't know what to do. I can't stand that holier than thou bullshit and yet, I'm completely infatuated with her. She made me laugh.
-And that's why you're losing your bet?
-I'm not losing the bet. It's just taking longer than I expected.
-Do you mind if I take my new Porsche for a ride?
-Morning!
-Morning.
-So? How'd it go last night?
-With who?
-If your asking if I nailed her the answer is no.
-She shot you down.
-Exactly the opposite.
-So what went wrong?
-I don't know. She was lying on the bed, ready to do it, but I-- I don't, I was... I just didn't feel right about it.
-You're telling me you had the chance to fuck her and you didn't. God are you a chump.
-If you're heading towards her room, you won't find her.
-Where is she?
-You don't know? She left thirty minutes ago.
-Where'd she go?
-Bad time?
-Kind of.
-You didn't?
-Oh yes.
-Tell me all the details.
-It was... Fantastic.
-Oh come on. For her first time?
-I know. That's the amazing part of it. I mean, it wasn't like Cirque du Soleil acrobatics, just standard missionary stuff, but it was... ah forget it. I'm going to sound like a Hallmark card.
-No, tell me.
-It was... it was like the emotional part outweighed the physical part.
-Wow. So you made love. Ooo, I hear the birds chirping.
-Some other time.
-Excuse me?
-I'm not in the mood.
-And that's why you're leaving?
-It clearly is why.
-I want to fuck.
-Oh my God. You're completely p-whipped.
-No, I'm not.
-P-whipped, p-whipped.
-I'm sorry. It's just upsetting. You're in love with her. You don't love me anymore.
-Oh come on, Kathryn, it was just a contest.
-At first it was, but now it's become something bigger.
-Kathryn, you know I love you. I've always loved you.
-Not anymore you don't. It's obvious.
-I can't believe you're reacting this way. You're just saying this because you lost the bet.
-That's not fair. You're taking all the fun out of it.
-Why so nervous?
-I've never done this before.
-How have you dumped girls in the past?
-Screening calls. Any suggestions?
-A little melodramatic, don't you think.
-I have a flair for drama.
-Mind if I ask what you're doing in my room?
-You wanted an answer to your question.
-Devastated beyond repair. I doubt she'll ever trust a man again.
-I thought we should celebrate.
-I'd love to, but unfortunately I'm expecting some company.
-Ronald?
-Well done.
-To my triumph, of course.
-Silly rabbit. My triumph isn't over her. It's over you.
-Come again?
-In any event, you still owe me my reward.
-Get off me!
-Will you calm down?
-I'm very sorry about that. I apologize.
-I accept. Now get out.
-Get out? We had an arrangement.
-Didn't you hear what I said?
-I don't care what you said, we had an agreement. You've slept with half of the borough so don't tell me you're being choosy.
-Get out!
-I'm giving you to the count of three to plop your ass down on the bed.
-And if I don't?
-Then I will consider it a declaration of war. One. Two... three.
-I think you have your answer.
-I can't tell you how happy we are that Cecile is going to be attending Oakwood with you this fall. You've always been an inspiration to Beau and I on raising her. We just hope she can rise to the high standards which you've set for her.
-You're too kind.
-How do you do it? I mean with all peer pressuring that goes on in high school. Where do you get your strength?
-I know this sounds corny, but whenever I feel temptations of peer pressure, I... turn to God and he helps me through the problem. Call me an anachronism, but it works.
-Don't worry, it's totally understandable. Most of the boys that matriculate at Oakwood are very upstanding gentleman, however there are the occasional bad apples.
-I got your message and came as quick as I could.
-I hope I didn't keep you from something.
-Not at all. What's wrong?
-It's Cecile.
-What about her?
-Well... you promise you won't say anything to her. We've developed a friendship and...
-Kathryn, you have my word. It isn't drugs is it?
-It's worse. I think there's something going on between Cecile and her music teacher.
-Ronald? That's crazy.
-I know. She's so young and he's so -
-I can't thank you enough.
-You will be discreet about this?
-Let me get that for you.
-Oh please. I can't have you do that.
-Who the hell do you think you are?!
-Excuse me.
-I'm paying you to give cello lessons. Not to pervert my child.
-Mrs. Caldwell I think you're misunderstanding something.
-Got me off the streets? I live on 59th and Park.
-First of all, maam, I never touched your daughter and second, I would like to think that in these times someone of your status could look beyond racial lines.
-Oh don't give me any of that racist crap. My husband and I gave money to Colin Powell.
-Hi. Is Annette at home?
-It's desperate that I talk to her.
-I've already told you, she's not home.
-Well please leave a message that I called.
-What do you want?
-I need to talk to Annette.
-She's not here.
-Do you know where she is?
-She's out.
-Do you know when she'll be back?
-Later. Listen, we're entertaining some guests so -
-Annette! Annette!
-Young man, I already told you she's not here.
-I'll do that.
-It's really important.
-Did I ever tell you the time when my late husband sent me -
-Yes, you already did.
-Right after we played backgammon.
-We played backgammon?
-Uh huh. You beat me three times.
-I did?
-Yep. Then I fucked your daughter.
-I said, do you want some water?
-What time is it?
-Eight o'clock. You got to go.
-Did she show up?
-Nope.
-Do you mind if I check upstairs?
-I can't have you do that, nor can I have you hanging around the lobby all day.
-I understand. Thanks for letting me crash here.
-Wow. I never knew she had these kind of feelings.
-You're a lucky guy.
-Ronald, e-mail's for geeks and pedophiles. Be romantic. Write her another letter.
-Hey Ronald.
-It seems that you and I have some talking to do.
-Where the hell do you come off hitting women?
-What are you talking about?
-Kathryn. Did you hit her?
-Kathryn? Oh Christ, she got to you too?
-Did you hit her?
-Ronald, you don't know what you're talking about.
-Ronald, I'm sorry.
-to a situation) Really, Mr. Reed, there isn't anything to worry about. It was only a slap --
-I'm so glad to have met you at last. You're just as nice as Amy told me you were. I hope you'll come to see us.
-Oh, hello.
-Oliver's pet, I'm sure it would be the first thing he'd grab if we ever had a fire.
-But it is a part of our lives too --a part of our past, It's a Goya reproduction. Those three cats -- are supposed to be the most beautifully drawn cats in Western art.
-But you don't keep a cat, do you?
-We don't even like them, I've often thought of giving it away, but Oliver wouldn't stand for it. It was his first wife's favorite picture. She was an artist.
-I didn't know Mr. Reed had been married before.
-That the old actress -- Julia Farren?
-Yes, She's a little odd, I understand.
-Does she go up to the Farren's often?
-I love the smell of pine.
-It's one of the clearest memories I have. Twelfth night...burning pine... and mummers' plays.
-Forgive me, but it was superstition ...foolish, childish wishes...that started, all this.
-What do you mean?
-It's perfectly normal for a child to dream. I can see how a sensitive little girl, finding this portrait, would take the image of this woman and make of her an imaginary friend. That image dwells only in her imagination, and that image can go as quickly as it was born.
-How?
-You get your wish!
-But Edward, in this kind of a wish that doesn't matter.
-What are saying, darling?
-I wasn't saying anything. I was singing.
-What song, dear?
-The song I was trying to hum. The song my friend, taught me.
-Mommy --
-Yes, darling.
-Did you ever make a wish?
-Oh, lots of times.
-Did your wishes ever come true?
-Sometimes.
-Where did you get this ring?
-That's what I wished on. Edward says it's a wishing ring -- and it is!
-But where did you get it, Amy?
-Someone gave it to you? Where was this old house?
-On the back street — a green house
-The Farren house
-Do you know the people?
-No dear. I don't know them, but I've heard about them.
-Are they nice?
-Well — the mother or daughter -- whichever one gave it to you. You ask Edward to go with you.
-I got my wish anyway.
-You mustn't tell anybody, or it won't come true.
-But it's already come true.
-Edward will give you your breakfast, Amy.
-Where'd you get this, darling?
-It was right there on top. Isn't she pretty?
-She was very pretty.
-What's her name?
-Irena.
-Irena.
-Look! Why don't you run out and play? The sun's shining.
-Oh, thank you, darling.
-Mommy, could Edward take me to Mrs. Farren's house to give her her present?
-Wouldn't it be just the same, darling, if daddy dropped the present at Mrs. Farren's on his way to town tomorrow morning?
-But it won't be Christmas tomorrow.
-Well, it shows imagination, anyhow.
-I wonder if you don't resent that in her?
-I'd hate her to grow up like that.
-All I have to do is look at Amy's eyes, blue and deep like yours.
-I'm not a jealous woman, Oliver.
-I know that.
-That's why I can tell you, straight out, you think too much about Irena -- blame yourself for her death. And its your thinking and brooding about her that makes you so unnaturally concerned about Amy.
-No. It's not that. It's because I know what can happen when people begin to lie to themselves -- imagine things. I love Amy too much to let her lose herself in a dream world where butterflies become pals. I saw what happened to Irena with her Cat People.
-I know, dear. I understand. But try to worry a little less about her -- be a little easier in your thinking. And especially today — let's forget about it. We want a really bang-up birthday party, don't we?
-You make me sound like the father in "East Lynne."
-Why don't you take off your hat and stay awhile?
-Where is everybody?
-It's early yet.
-It's nearly a quarter after four. The party was for four, wasn't it?
-Yes, darling,
-Gosh, in my day kids arrived at birthday parties before anybody was ready for them,
-Oilie, that's for the children to play with.
-No kids yet. Something's gone wrong. Maybe I ought to call somebody.
-All right, Ollie. Go ahead. Call the Boyds...3000W...see if their darling Donald has left.
-I think I should. 3000W?
-Something's haywire,
-What do you mean?
-I called not only the Boyds but the Irvings. Neither of them received invitations.
-My, my, what a coil we're in! What's this all about?
-Did you hear the child out?
-Well, it seemed to me --
-You mean you didn't. It seems to me the least you could do. You can't just jump at conclusions that way. You're being unfair.
-I'm never unfair.
-You're shouting at me.
-What is it, Alice?
-Ollie.
-What?
-It's your play.
-I haven't had my breakfast.
-Where did you get it?
-Some day I'm afraid we're going to have to tell her about Irena.
-What's funny?
-Oliver, please. Let's not go on with this. The child's trembling.
-I thought you were with Amy.
-No, she went runnin' off to some old house she was talkin' about yesterday.
-That's the Farren house.
-Is that where she got the ring, Mrs. Reed? She shouldn't be up there.
-But I told her to go with you.
-She said something about that, Mrs. Reed — but she didn't tell me it was the Farren house. I'll get my other hat and coat and go over there.
-It's late, Mommy -- you haven't forgotten my birthday party.
-Your birthday, Amy -- as she goes) -- and I have something for you in my locker. A present.
-Hello, Amy.
-Are you coming to see us. Miss Callahan?
-No, darling, I hadn't intended to.
-I live right here.
-I got lots of presents.
-Is that my birthday cake? May I see?
-Amy, you remember the party invitations Edward, gave you to mail?
-Yes, daddy.
-Did you mail then?
-Yes, I did.
-Where did you mail them?
-Amy, not that old tree!
-Yes, daddy.
-But I told you about that so long ago; you couldn't have been more than three when I told you that tree was a magic mailbox.
-I didn't forget.
-Amy, make a wish. Wish real hard, and then blow out the candles, and your wish will come true.
-But wishes don't come true.
-Certain wishes do.
-But you told me in the garden-- that the wish about the tree couldn't come true.
-What do you want. Amy?
-I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to tell you about the other children.
-Can't you tell me later?
-What do you mean you didn't play with the other children?
-It was on account of the birthday party.
-Because you didn't ask them? I don't blame them for being angry. Why didn't you explain what happened?
-They ran away.
-Why didn't you run after them?
-Now Amy
-It's true.
-And who did the voice belong to?
-It was just a voice.
-Now look, this is the last time you come to me with any such stories — I'm sick of this sort of thing.
-Daddy, it's true.
-No, I didn't.
-I'm sorry. Daddy and Mommy are a little upset.
-These are all from me.
-Just you wait!
-And this one's for Mrs. Farren.
-She gave me a ring, so I'm giving her a ring. I paid twenty-five cents for it, too.
-Daddy!
-Yes, Amy?
-Amy, answer me. Why did you call her your friend?
-It isn't a secret. She plays with me. She plays with me in the garden all the time. Right out there in the garden, she does!
-In the garden? Would she be there now?
-She's there, just like I said she'd be.
-Where, Amy? Where do you see her?
-Amy, there's nothing there. There's no one at all in the garden.
-But Irena is in the garden. She's right there, under the tree.
-Listen, darling. I want you to look once more. Take as long as you want. Look very carefully, and then I want you to tell me that no one's there.
-But...
-Yes, she was afraid. She said there was someone who wanted to kill me.
-But there's no one here, darling.
-Daddy?
-Yes, darling.
-What'd you get for Christmas?
-I don't know yet.
-My goodness, don't you open your presents until Christmas morning?
-No.
-We open ours on Christmas Eve. That's considered proper.
-Who are you?
-You called me by my name.
-Irena. But who are you?
-I'm your friend.
-I've wanted a friend.
-I've wanted a friend too. I've been lonely.
-But where do you come from?
-You wouldn't understand. I come from great darkness and deep peace
-But where is that?
-I can not tell you.
-Will you be friend for always?
-For as long as you'll let me.
-I shall want you for always.
-For always, then. Only you must promise never to tell anyone about me
-Not even Daddy...or Mommy?
-No. This must be a friendship that only we shall have... you and I... Amy and her friend.
-You'll always play with me?
-Can't you get it, darling?
-I'll just never learn arithmetic.
-But you must!
-The numbers simply don't mean anything
-Oh yes they do. Look. One is like a tall princess.
-A princess?
-Of course. And Two is the prince who kneels before her on one knee.
-Yes, yes! I see Prince,
-That's right!
-This is more fun than just pretend.
-There's an oak leaf. Add a maple.
-That one's an elm.
-light shining) in her eyes) Throw sea weeds into the flames, and the fire turns blue!
-But we don't have any sea weed.
-No, I don't think that's very much fun. Let's play house instead. You be the friend who comes to see me. I'll show you my children.
-Your children?
-All right, Amy. Button your sweater, darling. It's turning cold.
-Yes, winter's coming. I don't like the winter,
-Merry Christmas, Irena. I brought you a present.
-Oh, thank you, Amy.
-Oh, how beautiful!
-It reminded me of you, so I bought it. It cost me more than all the others.
-I shall wear it in my hair!
-Oh, that is more beautiful than I ever imagined it! I wish I could show you to mommy and daddy. I wish you could enjoy Christmas with us.
-You and I shall enjoy Christmas together. Shall I show you my Christmas gift to you?
-Merry Christmas.
-So beautiful, Irena. So beautiful.
-You wanted to share this moment with me.
-It stands so still.
-Because it knows it can move with the swiftness of strong wind.
-I can sea its breath in the cold.
-It's a warm breath -- warm and strong — warmed by the sunlight that shone on the deer's back in the hot summer; sweet with leaves and mosses.
-May I pet the deer?
-It is wildness and freedom. No one can touch it.
-It's you...Irena...my friend!
-Don't cry, Amy.
-You mustn't be afraid.
-But she's dead!
-Amy, listen to me. Death isn't such a terrible thing.
-Oh, it is, it is! Death's terrible.
-You?
-Yes, Amy.
-But why?
-Getting the yard all fixed up for your party, Amy. You'd better hurry and get yourself fixed up too.
-Look at my ring.
-That's a fine-looking ring.
-A lady threw it to me.
-Most surely that was a nice lady to give a ring to a little girl.
-It's a pretty ring.
-A ring that I can wish on like I wished on the candles?
-Maybe, if it's a real mourning ring like we have in Jamaica. All you got to do is turn it on your finger, close your eyes, and make a wish.
-the ring up to him) What's a mourning ring?
-They're given to the living in memory of the dead. If this is a real one -- I can't be sure -- you can make a wish, and it will come true in the twinkling of an eye.
-Well, if it's a real mourning ring,. I'm going to think hard for something I want more than anything else in the world before I wish.
-Been crying? That won't please your Daddy. You'd bettor cheer yourself up.
-I'm trying to.
-I wasn't singing to myself.
-Little miss, you're stopping me in my work.
-But I want to talk to you. Mommy says for you to come up to the old house with me. I've got to take back this ring.
-You just wait until I finish here. I've got to dust these ships for your Dad.
-Will you come soon?
-You're going to be busy all day long, Edward.
-I do suppose so. But if you were there yesterday, guess you can get there today.
-About time for you to come home, Amy.
-Little miss, don't you never come here alone. You gave me a fright, you did.
-But she's such a nice lady.
-There was a deer on the other side of the fence.
-Mustn't look, little miss. Mustn't look.
-Bad luck to see death in the snow.
-But what happened to the little deer?
-Probably hit by a car. Hard to see things in the twilight.
-Why is it just lying there? Why doesn't it get up?
-Because it can't. It's dead.
-But it was alive — it was fast and strong!
-It got hit.
-I've been watching you. You couldn't see me, but I could see you. It was like peeking through a slit in the curtain before the play began. You would be a very good audience. I can see that.
-If you were the lady who gave me a ring, my mother says I have to give it back to you.
-But my mother says I mustn't accept gifts from strangers.
-Stranger? Julia Farren a stranger. Why I've played every theatre from Boston to San Francisco. I've been to London and Paris. Those days — those beautiful, shilling, golden days.
-But I only came to give back the ring.
-She's always spying on me. She creeps into the room. She lives upstairs, yet she's always watching me — always!
-Who is she?
-There you are. Take some cake, why don't you?
-No, thank you.
-I like stories.
-Then I'll tell you a story — a lovely story. Do you know the story of Rapunzel?
-Mommy read it to ne.
-The Headless Horseman --
-Why hasn't he got a head?
-He'll let me stay, Mrs. Farren. He'll let me stay.
-I brought you a present. Merry Christmas.
-What?
-Who's Herne the Huntsman?
-And does he kill people?
-Hide me? Why?
-Hurry, hurry.
-Hurry!
-My daughter, Barbara, died when she was six. That was long ago. You're only the woman who keeps care of me. I know you.
-You didn't even open my present and I'm your daughter.
-I hate the storm. I hate it!
-The storms have done everything they can to me, I don't hate them. I don't even hear the wind. It blows beyond me. It was on such a night as this that Barbara died.
-But I am Barbara. I didn't die.
-Oh, doesn't that prove something to you? Doesn't it?
-Look at me. Look at me, mother darling. Look into my eyes. What color eyes did Barbara have?
-Gray. They were a lovely, lovely gray.
-And my eyes...my eyes are gray. Look! You see!
-Yes...yes, that's true.
-And my hair...what color hair did Barbara have?
-Mother! You called me by name!
-Promise me you won't forget tomorrow. You'll remember, won't you? You won't say that it was just a dream. Promise me.
-There's another promise you must make me. That little girl who comes here...she mustn't ever come to see you again. Promise me you won't see her.
-I-shan't see her. No, Barbara, no.
-If that child comes here...if I find her trying to steal your love from me...I'll kill her. Yes, I'll kill her:
-Good night, mother, good night.
-Let the child stay.
-On the dark nights — on the stormy nights -- you can hear him. He passes like the wind; The flapping and fluttering of his great cloak beating like gaunt wings. The thunder of his horse's hooves is loud, loud and louder, beating hard, beating strong on the frozen ground as he comes riding, riding, riding.
-...At the hour of midnight, down the road that goes through Sleepy Hollow, across the bridge, he goes galloping, galloping, always searching, always seeking
-There's a present you haven't opened yet, ma'am.
-It's some animal hurt in the woods that made that sound.
-What is it, ma'am?
-It's dark. We'd better be getting on. The family will be waiting.
-Everything all right down there at the school, Mr. Reed?
-Yes, everything's all right, Edward.
-When I first heard all that talk about you going down to the school to see the teacher I got really afeard. I thought maybe you night call off this birthday party -- and me with the cake already in the oven.
-I thought we were going to save those leaves you were burning for the compost bin.
-You won't have long to wait. In just a few minutes this house will be overflowing with boys and girls. Off with you now, Amy. Go out and watch from the gate for all the children who'll be coming.
-Well, ma'am, the truth is, I gave them to Amy hersolf to post.
-And Amy mailed them?
-Amy looks happy — seems almost as if she were playing with another child; like somebody else were running with her and playing.
-I like to see her happy.
-I didn't even have to coax her tonight.
-That's because she made a promise, and she'a keeping it, aren't you, darling. You saw the way she played this afternoon, Edward.
-"To Daddy from Amy." Here's one for Miss Callahan. This one says, "To Edward from Amy.".
-I know it may seem stupid of me--but it isn't the slap I'm worried about -- it's the reason.
-Something to do with a butterfly-- they were quarreling about it.
-No. Amy slapped Donald because he had hurt the butterfly -- and it was her friend.
-Well, that seems a harmless fancy --
-You'd better hurry. I've left Amy in the car and she's getting impatient. She tells me there's something especially important about a sixth birthday.
-She refuses to deny it. She continues to believe in her lies.
-But don't you see...it's just what I was about to say to Alice...Amy in her own mind may not be lying.
-But there was nothing, no one in the garden.
-But we have. She's wanted for nothing.
-It all starts with them going to the bathroom together.
-That many women in one place -- nothing good can come from that.
-Sorry about Frida. She's been friends with Jen forever.
-I'm lucky Jen's not like that.
-I don't believe in PMS. Women made it up just so they can be bitchy.
-My brother has an answer to PMS. A-S-S: Abundant Sperm Syndrome. A man gets sperm build-up, and if his woman isn't givin' it to 'em, he's gotta get it elsewhere.
-Waiter! She needs more water.
-No way is that the same chick. The other one was a dog.
-Jennifer gave her a make-over.
-Guess you like those Coyote Ugly steaks now, huh?
-Sorry, don't mean to be wolfing down. I'm just starving.
-No one I've run into knows what "coyote ugly" means.
-Maybe that bartender made it up. I mean I think coyotes are rather beautiful. Maybe "coyote ugly" is really a compliment. Like someone who's conventionally "ugly" but is really beautiful.
-Sorry I didn't recognize you earlier. You look so different.
-You shouldn't smoke. It'll kill you.
-Yeah yeah I know. Smoking kills. I'll quit someday. Doesn't it seem like all the cool people smoke?
-No.
-James Dean, Humphrey Bogart...
-Yul Brynner. They're all dead.
-What?
-Wow your body's really hot.
-I've been working out.
-I mean body temperature. Do you have a fever?
-A bite... Where'd you get bitten?
-There was a sale.
-I mean where on your body?
-A dog at Victoria's Secret?
-How's the rest of your health?
-PMS. What symptoms are you experiencing?
-It's hard to describe. I get really bloated and irritable and emotional and depressed and...
-That's just part of being a woman. Diet and exercise should help. Avoid salt, sugar, starches, caffeine, alcohol...
-What else is there?
-And keep a journal of your symptoms to make sure it's related to your period and not just in your head.
-That bite healed up quickly. It's been about three weeks?
-Nearly four.
-How have you been feeling?
-Okay, but I'm worried about the next PMS bout. It's gotten worse. I'm not myself during it. I get bloated, irritable, my breasts get huge, my nails turn into claws, my teeth get sharper and I have more facial and body hair.
-Sounds all stress related. Your teeth may feel sharper if you're grinding them at night. You don't seem hairy to me. Is that all?
-I get crazy dreams and I black out.
-Diet and exercise, that's all there is. I'm not a big proponent of the PMS craze, but there's a book my wife mentioned called "The PMS Diet," which may be helpful.
-Does she have PMS?
-Jennifer?
-No it's mom.
-We're worried about you. "60 Minutes" was on same-sex couples.
-What does that have to do with me?
-You haven't mentioned dating anyone since Mark and, well you're not a lesbian are you?
-No, I'm not a lesbian. Geez mom.
-I have cramps. I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
-Come on, we've been double dating since the fourth grade.
-Yeah even then look what happened: Michael Mortenson kissed you and Billy Sullivan threw a worm at me.
-Well that's not going to happen tonight. George said Carlton's a nice guy.
-Translation: a total geek.
-Anything's better than Mark.
-My shrink says he's not so bad.
-Your shrink always gives you bad advice. He only hears what you choose to tell him. Mark's an asshole, he cheated, he borrowed money and never paid it back, he's never had a regular job.
-He's a very talented musician.
-Every woman at some point has to date a musician. I wish you'd get rid of Mark for good. Every time you break up you see him more than when you were going out.
-I guess I have a weakness for him. It's those big brown Bambi eyes.
-I wonder what it's like being you. Being noticed all the time.
-He hasn't said one word to me.
-Maybe he's just shy.
-My date always pays more attention to you than to me.
-Frida, I don't mean this as a criticism, but you might not want to talk about PMS around men.
-Sorry. It's just so bad lately. You're so lucky you never get PMS.
-I get a little bloated sometimes.
-How about I give you a make-over? You'll feel better about yourself. You're actually pretty, you're just not bringing it out.
-Do you really need these?
-Only to see.
-Can't you get contacts?
-No, it grosses me out even thinking of putting something in my eye.
-Or if there's a full moon.
-Okay, just one more stop and you'll be all set. Victoria's Secret.
-What do I need overpriced fancy underwear for? Shouldn't a guy have already decided that he likes me before he sees me in lingerie?
-It's not about him seeing you in it. It's how you feel. You'll feel sexy in lingerie and it'll show. It's an inner thing.
-I don't know.
-Where are all the mediums?
-Can you believe she fuckin' bit me?
-And she got the medium.
-I think she broke the skin.
-What a bitch. You should see a doctor. That can be dangerous. George bit me once and I had to go to the emergency room.
-George bit you?
-Why did Gregory ask me out? I mean he's cute -- he probably just wants to pitch his screenplay idea.
-Maybe he likes you, ever think of that? It's good for you to go out -- get your mind off Mark.
-You're so lucky you have George and don't need to go on dates anymore.
-What I really hated about dating was the lines guys used to get into my apartment. "Can I use your phone?" "How about a nightcap?" "I want to meet your cat." And my all-time favorite, the old standby, "I have to use your bathroom."
-Maybe they have to pee.
-Are you kidding? He might as well say, "Can I date rape you?"
-I never thought of it like that. I never know what to do on dates. Do guys still pay?
-Where?
-Where? Where do you think a mustache would be. Look!
-I don't see anything. Maybe just a little.
-Holy shit, I'm a freak.
-Hey, did you get contacts?
-He's dead? Am I bad luck or what?
-There you go, blaming yourself for everything again.
-And he was ripped limb from limb?
-I'm sure they were exaggerating.
-Why would they exaggerate?
-So did you do it?
-Did I kill him? Of course not!
-No, did you fuck him?
-No. I don't think so.
-You don't think so? You either did or your didn't.
-I don't remember. We kissed at my door and next thing I knew I woke up with my period. Alone.
-Did you get smashed or what? You have to eat if you're drinking. And not just those little salads.
-I ate a burger in the afternoon and a steak and a half with Gregory.
-I guess you're off that vegetarian kick you've been on for ten years.
-I couldn't stop eating steak. I felt out of control -- like I was making up for all those years being a vegetarian. I couldn't get enough. And then Gregory walked me home... and he peed in front of me.
-What? Why the hell did he do that?
-He was trying to get into my apartment and... I know this sounds gross but I was so turned on. I grabbed him and kissed him!
-And then?
-I think I went in and fell asleep. I guess Gregory walked home and got killed! I blacked out.
-At least your PMS is over.
-I thought you were going to stop wearing your glasses.
-Are those Mark's?
-No, Mark wears boxers. They must have been in the dryer already.
-He was cute, huh? Of course whenever I meet a guy, I'm wearing no make-up.
-Rule one: always wear make-up.
-I wonder if he's married.
-Gross, so this is Mark's flesh? When did you see him?
-Um, he stopped by yesterday before you came over.
-Why didn't you tell me? You said you hadn't seen him for a month.
-I'm sorry. I didn't want you to think I was still a doormat.
-I don't think I've ever actually liked anyone I've dated before. Peter even likes me without makeup.
-Hmmm. Sounds suspicious.
-I don't know much about him. How do you know if a guy is decent?
-Give him the tampon test.
-What the hell is the tampon test?
-I'm freaking out. I'm like an animal and totally out of control. My arms keep getting really hairy.
-You have to stop being so self- critical Frida.
-How'd it go with the cop?
-We almost slept together... and... then the hair started and I booked.
-Frida, this hair thing is all in your head. You're using it as an excuse not to get close to anyone.
-It's just as well. I'm afraid of getting hurt again. Mark seemed great at first too. I don't want to get too attached to Peter and then find out he's a creep.
-No he didn't. Come on, I don't want to be alone with those two. All they talk about is basketball and it bores the hell out of me.
-Okay. I guess so.
-I started out on that eye-of-newt diet the doctor gave me and wound up in the tub covered in chocolate.
-Well whatever it was, seems to have worked cause you look great.
-What did he say?
-I think he called you beautiful.
-Charming Carlton.
-Bag means condom now? I can't keep up with the word "bag." It used to be "No, that's not my bag" -- meaning not my thing. But now "my bag" means "my fault."
-You might want to tape your nipples down next time. It's really distracting.
-I can't help it. My bra wouldn't even fit. I've been going to Victoria's Secret and exchanging bras for bigger ones and still I'm busting out. It's this PMS.
-Geez, I wish I'd get it like that.
-Oh my god, look. My arms are so hairy!
-Yes they are! Look how much more hair I have than you!
-It's just cause mine is finer. A little bleach'll fix that.
-Frida, this is a bad time. We're having sex and George actually answered the phone.
-Jennifer. A severed arm. It's bloody and... I'm not sure but it may be Carlton's.
-You fucked Carlton? See I told you he liked you.
-Please come over. I'm begging you. What should I do with the arm? Should I call the cops or... Peter?
-So where's this infamous arm now?
-I put it down the garbage disposal.
-And what makes you think you killed a man?
-You're a PMS werewolf. Of course. Frida, are you on drugs?
-You're delusional. Maybe you had a bad dream and bit your lip -- so you tasted blood. And the severed arm... well I don't see it and... maybe this is all in your head.
-It took me an hour to clean it up. That was not in my head!
-Maybe the blood was from your period like before.
-I haven't gotten it yet.
-Frida, listen to yourself. If I said I was a werewolf, would you believe me?
-Hello?
-Frida? I was worried to death about you. I've called you for two days. Where have you been?
-I've been here. What day is it?
-Tuesday. Are you okay?
-Shit, I guess I missed work.
-Frida, Carlton's dead.
-Oh no.
-And he was missing an arm.
-Oh my god Jennifer. I should go to confession.
-Get rid of him!
-Okay, I gotta go.
-Holy shit, I don't know.
-Did you get rid of Mark?
-I don't know... I'm spaced out... he was taking a shower... He must be still in there.
-He's been here all night?
-What happened to his tooth?
-I should call the police. Oh no Peter. Peter is the police!
-DON'T call the police.
-Why not? There's been a murder.
-First of all, you're my alibi. I told George I was with you last night.
-What? Why'd you do that?
-There's kind of this guy I'm seeing.
-How could I? I'm helping you clean up Mark's remains and you ask how could I cheat on George?
-You're right. It's just, I can't cover up a murder so George won't know you're cheating.
-You say murder, but you have no idea what happened. You don't remember doing it, so it's out of your control.
-I think I turned into a werewolf and killed him.
-Why the fuck would you do that?
-I could smell another woman on him.
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-If you ask me, the fucker got what he deserved. I'm glad he's dead.
-That's a terrible thing to say. Frida goes back to scrubbing the floor.
-At least I finally saw the reason you couldn't get over Mark.
-You expecting someone?
-No.
-Fuck it's the cops. Peter saw me, now I have to let him in.
-What the fuck are we going to do?
-Peter knows something.
-I think I just got my period.
-Does that mean this whole thing is over?
-Probably for three weeks or so anyway. I'm not sure -- I don't get how it works.
-Let's do some research. I'll check the libraries. You surf the web.
-You're such a good friend.
-Symptoms include loss of emotional control, compulsive behavior, cravings, crying spells...
-Peter keeps asking me out.
-Maybe you should go out with him. If you keep avoiding him he'll get suspicious. Besides, what better way to not get busted than to date the cop who's investigating you.
-The thing is, I really like him. I finally meet a guy I really like and I'm a fuckin' werewolf.
-"Paranoia, insecurity, depression, changes in vision, feelings of losing control; belief that you have a mental problem..." Nothing about turning into a werewolf.
-This is from a scientist in France, Madame Sconce. "The original werewolves were females. They became werewolves on the lunar cycle because it corresponded to the woman's cycle. My suspicion is that the only cure is true love."
-Great so all I have to do is fall in love? Like I haven't tried that for the past 24 years.
-"The female-cycle werewolf will only kill men and never kills someone she truly loves." See I knew you never loved Mark.
-Who is this Madame Sconce? Let's find her and talk to her.
-She died at age 34 in the 1800's. They thought she was crazy. She was banished from her town. Seems her husband shot her.
-Guess she never found true love.
-The weird thing is... he shot her with a silver bullet.
-So... she was a werewolf. Do you think we can believe all this?
-What choice do we have?
-So what do I do?
-Fall in love.
-I'm cleaning my stove.
-You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were killing yourself.
-I tried to kill myself -- earlier. It doesn't work. I think I need silver bullets. So I got depressed and when I'm depressed I clean.
-You'll get through this. You were fine for over three weeks.
-I'm just afraid I'll hurt Peter. I think I love him.
-Remember what Madame Sconce said. If you love him he'll be fine.
-But how do I know if I really love Peter? And if he really loves me?
-I guess you'll find out.
-No. I can't take that chance. I'd rather kill myself.
-No. I won't let you do that.
-I think George knows.
-About Mark? Carlton?
-About Benito.
-Did I kill a guy named Benito?
-I thought you and George were getting married.
-We were -- I was just so tempted... It was sort of a test. I think after sleeping with Benito I know I want to be with George. But now George knows about Benito and he doesn't want to be with me!
-I wish I only had your problems.
-Sorry -- I shouldn't go on about myself at a time like this. Are you sure you're going to be okay?
-Hello?
-Frida? You okay?
-Never been better. Peter spent the night. I must really love him. He's still alive.
-Oh thank god. Maybe this whole thing is really over.
-God I hope so. Hey can I call you later? Peter's still here. He's in the shower.
-I know.
-So you're Grant's secretary?
-I do development for TV movies.
-You're kidding, really?
-You hungry?
-Man I'm starving too, I think I'll go for the Surf and Turf.
-I'm not really hungry after all.
-So there I was, hanging from the edge of a bridge, when my mom said, "Son, you got into Harvard!" It took three of them to pull me back! Frida keeps eating.
-Well, whattdaya think?
-I'd really feel more comfortable paying for my half of the dinner.
-I'm really tired.
-Come on, didn't all that steak make you thirsty?
-No. Really, I'm... I don't feel well. I've got terrible PMS.
-They say sex is great for cramps.
-What?
-I really gotta pee.
-You should have gone at the restaurant.
-I didn't have to pee then.
-My apartment's just such a mess.
-That's okay. I just have to use the bathroom and then I'll leave.
-Oh come on. Knock it off.
-Knock what off?
-You don't have to pee.
-Yes I do have to pee!
-You're just saying that to get into my apartment and then you're hoping that'll turn into something else.
-I wouldn't mind doin' something else, but I do really have to pee.
-Uh huh. So pee.
-So pee? Here?
-What, you got a date or somethin'?
-You look different. I mean you look good.
-You never say that.
-You do though. You look really... is that a wonderbra?
-Look what you did!
-Oh my god, I'm sorry!
-Shit. And you're eating my burger? You don't eat meat.
-OUCH that stings! Damn, what am I going to do with my back like this?
-Worried about what all your girlfriends might think?
-Frida, you know you're it for me.
-Hey wait, I paid three bucks for that burger. You owe me...
-You haven't even paid me back the thousand bucks you owe me!
-Where'd you get the bike?
-Frida? I hear you talking. I know you're in there. Let me in.
-It's a matter of life and death.
-This really isn't a good time.
-I did something stupid. I had a courier job -- picking up a package from the airport. It turned out to be money -- so I kind of borrowed it to pay my rent and now these dudes are after me.
-So pay them back and apologize.
-These guys aren't the kind that'll take an apology. They're the kind that'll break my thumbs.
-You think that story's gonna make me loan you money?
-It's the truth. If you'd just loaned me the money last time this never would have happened.
-Somehow this winds up being my fault? You always blame me.
-Come on, I'm your biggest supporter.
-My bra is my biggest supporter.
-Mark.
-Wow.
-The Nielson's?
-On your desk.
-Script coverage?
-On your desk.
-Coffee and...
-How about a "Man in Jeopardy" story?
-Did you change your hair?
-I can't read any more crap. These women are all victims.
-Yes, that's what we're looking for.
-I think we should do something with strong female characters...
-Mr. Grant. Did you read that script I was talking about?
-Uh... yes. Not for us. No woman in jeopardy. Find me Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Find me a true story about a crazed killer stalking beautiful women.
-No.
-No?
-No. I quit. Take your lame ass ideas, your fake ass toupee, your fat ass wife and your ugly ass kids and shove them.
-When's the last time you saw him?
-I wish I could help but last I saw Gregory was outside my front door.
-You busted me.
-Are you following me?
-No... no... this is embarrassing. I was returning your pillowcase... and I saw you cross the street... and I sort of started following you. I just find you really intriguing. I don't know why.
-I gotta get going. Peter gets the pillowcase out of his bag.
-Being a cop has such a warm effect on people.
-That's my ex. He's an asshole. In case you couldn't tell. I think he's been following me.
-You wanna get some coffee?
-I'm trying to stay away from caffeine.
-Some decaf then? That was stupid. Obviously you said you were staying away from caffeine as a nice way of blowing me off.
-No. Really. I don't drink coffee anymore. I used to love it but my tastes have changed recently.
-Okay well. Maybe some other time. They continue walking together.
-So what book did you buy?
-Oh, it's nothing.
-No really, I love knowing what people read.
-It's stupid.
-My mom used to get PMS too.
-Used to? Did it stop finally?
-No, she died when I was twelve.
-I'm sorry.
-I've had time to get over it. She was killed by wolves they think.
-We lived in northern Minnesota. She went for a walk one night and they never found her body -- just her torn apart clothes with her blood and wolf blood on them. Then the town rounded up bunch of hunters and shot all the wolves in the area.
-I'm so sorry Peter. Gee, that sure puts my problems in perspective.
-I've read scripts about detectives, but never met one. Must be wild.
-Sometimes it's frustrating. Like this Gregory Jameson case. We don't even know what killed him. I'm putting together little details to see if we're missing something.
-Like what?
-You know how moms always tell you to wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident? Well this guy wasn't wearing any underwear.
-A lot of people don't wear underwear.
-How about you? Briefs or boxers?
-Briefs.
-Cool. I don't get guys who wear boxers. My ex wore boxers. I never got how he could wear khakis and not have his boxers bunch up.
-Me neither. That's why I wear briefs... So why did you and... Mark break up?
-I really gotta get going.
-Thanks for the walk. Maybe we could... get a bite sometime?
-Yeah. Maybe.
-Goodnight.
-What are those?
-Silver bullets. A collectors item. These are very valuable. They were melted down from a crucifix.
-What are they for?
-I'm a cop -- I notice everything. That drawer's ajar, that picture's been moved about an inch, the closet wasn't closed when I left...
-What's wrong?
-Oh, nothing's wrong. Just... well don't you have your period?
-I mean we can still... whatever... Maybe I should get a towel?
-No. No, I'm fine. Maybe I should go. I mean... I don't want our first time to be like this.
-Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me. You following me again?
-No. I was doing my laundry.
-Was there anything in that washer?
-You sure? It's my favorite shirt, mind if I check?
-Everything okay?
-Uh.... hi!
-Frida, can we come in? We need to talk to you. It's important.
-You had a date with Carlton?
-No, no... But Mark -- a jealous boyfriend gone mad. Maybe he kills men you date.
-But you said the bodies were ripped to pieces?
-No, why?
-Frida. I was looking for you. You changing jobs?
-Yeah sort of. Where's Lloyd?
-I need to talk to you. About us. Frida... I... Can I carry your box?
-No, I got it. It's okay.
-What happened?
-I thought we were starting something... and then... I know it's unorthodox, I mean with you being involved in the case and all.
-I just don't know if I should be dating anyone right now.
-Except Mark of course.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Did I tell you I have the worst sense of humor and I make bad jokes at totally inappropriate times?
-No, but thanks for the warning.
-Speaking of Mark -- we've tried to track him down and there's no sight of him. Vanished into thin air. I got a hunch he fled the country.
-That's it? Hell my mom chased my dad around with a knife when she had it. She made us call her a different name. She'd say, "You're talking to Betty now" and we'd leave the house for a few days.
-This is a lot worse than "Betty."
-You can't mean that. I'm sure your bark is worse than your bite.
-Is it that funny?
-No, it's just... no one's ever said that. And I thought if someone did ever say it, I'd have to say it first and then they'd sort of say "I love you too" cause they felt they had to after I'd said it.
-Is that how you feel?
-Like I had to say it? No, I wanted to say it.
-You didn't say it.
-What's with the squirt guns?
-They're for my cat. I use them to train him not to rip up paper.
-You know, I've never seen your cat.
-Your breasts feel larger.
-They do? Oh no...
-I did shave... Do I seem hairy? Peter laughs.
-Hello?
-Frida? You okay? Look, I think I know what happened to Mark. I want to help. I'm coming over.
-NO! Don't come over. Peter... I... I don't want to see you anymore. Ever.
-Yes, sort of. I mean no, not really.
-You at least owe me the truth.
-You want the truth? Remember I tried to tell you something the other day?
-Yes, your PMS. Frida I can deal with that.
-If you don't like me, just say so. You don't have to make up some bullshit like you're a werewolf.
-Go away. I might hurt you.
-I'm not afraid. Frida! I love you.
-Peter I love you too but...
-How do you know?
-I don't think you would. No matter what form you take.
-I can't take that chance... I couldn't live with myself if I did anything to you.
-Be careful!
-Can't you bite me and then I'll be like you?
-No. It doesn't work that way. Men can't get PMS. Unfortunately.
-I knew you wouldn't kill me.
-Maybe we should have children. I don't think I'd kill the father of my child.
-We can work this out. Other couples have worse problems.
-Worse than this?
-Sure. Cheating, lying. What's a little werewolf a few days a month? We can move out to the country where you can feed off deer.
-What about... those guys... I might have...
-No way can anything be proved. All they have are some wolf hairs. No one believes in werewolves.
-I'm so sorry... I... I couldn't help it. You know I didn't mean to... to do any of that.
-I'm going to take a shower.
-Here's a towel.
-That I'm a doormat of course. The shrink makes more notes.
-I think I'm a werewolf.
-I ate a guy last night.
-And how did you feel when you ate this guy?
-Dreams about killing usually signify feelings of guilt. You had sex last night and you feel guilty.
-We didn't have sex.
-You say you killed a man and don't remember it. Couldn't you have had sex and not remember it? It's sexual. Why did you choose "eating him" as the method of killing?
-Cause I'm a fucking werewolf!!
-It's about Gregory Jameson. He's dead.
-Yes... I... we had dinner.
-Did he come home with you? Did you go to his apartment?
-No, it was our first date.
-A kiss? Did you have sex with him?
-We can get a warrant if you like.
-You heard about Carlton Fraser?
-Seems you were the last to see Carlton alive. And the last to see Gregory alive.
-No. We left the restaurant, and... and I felt sick... so... so I took a cab home. Alone.
-You got a dog?
-No, I have a cat.
-No he's not. He's a courier. He picks up packages from the airport.
-So I asked the bartender what "coyote ugly" meant. It's like the "bagger" system. You know, a two- bagger -- someone so ugly that you need two bags -- one bag to put on their head and another one in case it blows off. Or a three-bagger...
-He was saying that when women are close friends they get their periods at the same time.
-Come on, I've been working with Frida. Carlton won't even recognize her now. She's really coming out of her shell.
-She's just so... pathetic.
-She's just insecure. Once you get to know her she's fabulous.
-I wonder how Frida and Carlton are getting along?
-Carlton insisted on leaving with her. Maybe he got lucky.
-It's for you. Frida.
-I'm supposed to put up with a fuckin' cat I'm allergic to cause your friend's got PMS?
-It's so bad she becomes a werewolf.
-You have some weird friends. What does her thinking she's a werewolf have to do with us having the cat?
-Oh great. What the fuck am I supposed to do?
-Take some allergy medicine.
-You can't believe this bullshit.
-Jesus Christ she got her period. Relax guys. It happens.
-How the hell is that your business?
-You want her sheets?
-I was thinking about becoming a cop myself. Do you take a test or something or just sign up?
-Why would you want to be a cop?
-See he was cheating from the get go.
-Nah, I don't wanna break up with Wanda, I just wanna see Carmen too.
-Man, you're livin' dangerously. Let me ask you somethin', you always have to get women drunk before they'll sleep with you?
-You kiddin'? They try to get ME drunk.
-You're some catch Lloyd.
-He was found a few blocks away.
-I didn't trust her. All that blood on the sheets. She may look sweet, but she could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Something's weird.
-That dude was torn limb from limb. No way a woman like that could have done it. You never seen blood on a chick's sheets from her period?
-Hell no, I'm not into that shit. The sight of blood makes me sick.
-Oh, so you decide to be a cop? Seriously? You don't have sex with a woman cause she's on the rag?
-No man. Blood is not a turn on. You sure let that Frida off the hook. You weren't even going to take the sheets. If I didn't know better, I'd think you liked her.
-I can tell she's not a killer. You just don't like her cause you have a hang up about menstruation.
-Frida's sheets checked out fine. It was just her own blood. From her... you know.
-I told you she was innocent.
-Hey, there was a lot of blood.
-She was never a suspect Lloyd. Some animal must have done this.
-Maybe. What about all those hairs they found on his body?
-Waiting for DNA tests. He was hairier than Madonna in Penthouse.
-Madonna's in Penthouse?
-Back in the '80's. You didn't see the pictures? They were from before she got famous. She was hairy as hell. Her pits, her bush.
-What?
-He was found nearly ripped to shreds in Central Park.
-I still don't get when you gave her back the pillowcase.
-We only live a few blocks apart.
-This is more than fishy, this chick dates a dude and he winds up dead.
-She's got a hidden pitbull. Maybe she hired someone to kill them.
-She's not a suspect. What is her motive? There's nothing, NOTHING connecting her to either crime except that she dated both guys.
-Sounds like you got a conflict of interest.
-Nah, East Village poseur was grosser than the dude in the park.
-The park dude was missing an arm.
-Poseur was missing a chunk of his neck. And his eyes were open. That always bugs me out. Do me a favor, if some mutherfucker's about to blow me away, remind me to close my fuckin' eyes.
-Deal. And if some mutherfucker's about to blow me away, shoot him.
-Yeah okay. I still say Frida's involved. She's the last one to see two dudes alive...
-He means the last that we know of.
-Seems he's stolen money from them. He's desperate and our only lead.
-Spencer's the key here. Frida is in no way associated with him. And her blood hasn't matched with any of the killings.
-It's a bit farfetched that Mark would rip guys to shreds just outta jealousy. This makes no sense.
-It's like some fucking monster dropped out of the sky and killed these dudes.
-You think mafia hit?
-Hard to tell. Looks like he's been cleaned up and he's decomposing as we speak. This case gets weirder by the minute.
-It has to be Frida. This makes three guys ripped apart who are tied to her ass.
-Okay Lloyd. First, no way does Frida have the physical strength to tear a guy to shreds. Second, why would she be so obvious and let it be known she was the last one to see these guys? Third, she's the one in danger. She's a woman in jeopardy and you're layin' a murder rap on her. Fourth, I look in her eyes and
-What are you talking about?
-I know. I followed you. To the zoo, to her house, to your house...
-What the fuck are you following me for? I'm not a suspect here.
-My girlfriend's predicting another murder in the next few days.
-What makes her think that?
-So... they're on some cycle. The murders... Gregory... then 28 days later... Carlton.
-And that was 28 days ago today.
-Did we get those DNA tests back?
-Just this morning. Animal hairs were found all over the victims.
-What kind of animal?
-I need something to keep me awake.
-Looks like you need a haircut to me.
-Thanks. Just some pills.
-Sell maps?
-What of?
-The city. I need to get to the ocean.
-Mnunn. Cold lately. That night, couple weeks ago. That was <u>real</u> cold. Remember that?
-Not really...
-How long have you been here?
-Maybe ten minutes... Thatís strange.
-What's he doing here?
-Says he is the man's doctor... You know...
-All the same entry wounds. It's definitely him. She lives... lived here. A prostitute.
-The other one?
-His wife.
-Jesus. Small world. Where's the photographer?
-They don't speak English...
-How will we interrogate them?
-Police. Nobody move.
-He tried to kill me!
-Doctor! What brings you here?
-Just visiting my patient.
-Really? And how is his state of mind?
-You seem a little edgy. Everything okay?
-To tell you the truth, I'm glad we've run into each other like this. Maybe you can help me tidy some loose ends.
-I met a friend of yours the other night, doctor. Tall fellow. No hair. Rather pale skin...
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-That's surprising. He was leaving your office at the time...
-Please, they'll kill me...
-In there.
-What is this place?
-Was that for real down there?
-Good evening, sir.
-Why are you wearing that thing on your face?
-Germs, sir. These places are full of them.
-What about Thompson, sir? Wasnít this his case?
-Thompson suffered a kind of severe delusion or some damn thing. Anyway he isnít with us any longer. The case is yours. Go through his files. Take what you need. By the way, howís your mother?
-Why do you want to speak to him?
-Itís extremely important to my investigation...
-Iíll be the judge of that. Anything else?
-Lost something?
-Yes. That's right. He's ill - he needs expert help.
-Yes, sir. I'm sorry... But I don't understand how it was possible. The only window was twenty feet up a vertical wall, he was cuffed...
-Bumstead, you're starting to annoy me. This case is very important to me. Just a little warning: I've got my eye on you inspector, remember that.
-Dammit!
-Sorry, sir.
-Donít ever sneak up on me like that! Who are you?
-Iím your new assistant.
-I didnít requisition a secretary.
-Iíve taken the liberty and had Inspector Thompsonís office searched, as I believe you instructed. All clear now, sir. They found several more traps and things were filed under pretty strange categories... Poor man.
-Good.
-You wonít regret this, sir.
-You typed this report?
-Yes, sir. Anything wrong?
-It seems fine.
-How can I submit this?
-Iím sorry...
-Do you wash your hands before you type things?
-Why, yes.
-Who is it?
-Won't say. Says he must talk to you.
-I need everything on the Jonathan White case.
-Yes, sir. <u>Everything</u>?
-Where are we going?
-Why give yourself up?
-I - ah - couldn't think of anything else to do. I thought maybe you know something... I'm scared.
-That was a pretty good escape act at the station. How did you do that?
-People... after me.
-Who?
-I don't know who they are.
-Why are they after you?
-Don't know that either.
-They didn't have faces.
-What?
-Go on.
-Well. The only thing I've been certain of, all this time, is that I need to get to the ocean. The point is no one seems to know how to get there.
-Where do you think this goes?
-What now?
-Can't let you in... sorry.
-I'm on the serial killer case, need to talk.
-They've taken my mind, my memories...
-What? Who has?
-Is that your idea of a joke? I don't remember... Take my advice, Bumstead. Get off this case. Now.
-Jesus! We have to get you to a doctor...
-But... How long has this been happening?
-Look! This is a good one!
-What is that door?
-Which one?
-Such a joker! Like your father.
-You see it?
-Yes.
-Where does it lead?
-A fanciful idea, Mister White.
-A book of delusions. Anything else?
-But I...
-I see. The verdict, yes...
-I didn't realise...
-No. I, ah...
-Someoneís after me.
-Then we must call the police.
-I see. Then who is after you? What sins have you committed?
-Donít kill me!
-Shut up!
-You remember nothing? Who you are? What you've done?
-You know something about me?
-Ah, that would be cheating, wouldn't it? Is there nothing <u>you</u> remember? Not even a detail? You must try.
-You think I haven't been trying! It's like there was never anything there. Just water.
-Water?
-What does she say? The woman.
-Asks my name. Over and over. Just like a broken record. Only thing is, I can't answer. I've no idea what my name <u>is</u>.
-Your name is John White.
-Bad dreams?
-Yes.
-If you like.
-You're supposed to be my doctor, right?
-Known me for long?
-I cannot say... You don't know the answer to that?
-Did she drown? The woman you told me about?
-Horrible...
-We are little more than a sum of memories. From them we reference who we are, where we're going. Without a past we are nothing. This is why you are so interesting.
-I'm nothing then.
-Can I get my life back?
-I'm sorry. About before.
-What are you doing?
-I have to go...
-You're a liar!
-No, it's the truth.
-If you would only take this, inject it in your brain, everything would be much clearer.
-Not that again...
-You've been working too hard.
-Please! Don't be foolish! Time is short. Let me show you something. Look at this syringe.
-Why?
-It's a trick.
-What are you hiding?
-What happened to you?
-What is it?
-I thought it would make more sense. I'm getting the pieces, but when I put it together it feels like... Like you're telling me about somebody else's life...
-It's the truth... I need you. I know you're innocent.
-How do you know I'm innocent?
-Of course you are. You couldn't do those terrible things. Come home with me - maybe things will make sense then...
-I can't do that. It's dangerous. What about my parents? Do you know where I can find them?
-How do I get there? Tell me.
-You understand what you'll be doing?
-Yeah... You just want me to wave, right?
-Wave from the door... go down the stairs... get into the limo...
-`Cause you know I can do other stuff. I mean, if you wanted me to talk or...
-Don't say a .
-Uh --Mr. Alexander?
-What?
-Is this dangerous or anything?
-No more than the usual.
-How much do you usually get paid?
-First Lady...
-They barely talk anymore.
-You're kidding?
-Holy cow.
-We'll be back for you first thing tomorrow and if you need me for anything, Duane will be right outside the door.
-Now, remember -- keep it simple.
-What's with her?
-Okay, let's go over it again. You met a girl, you fell in love...
-And we're going away for a holiday.
-For a month.
-A month.
-Right and don't embellish.
-First thing we're gonna work on is the mannerisms. Alan has put together sort of a training program
-I'm not certain about...
-Dave...
-Be a professional. If you can convince her - - you can convince anybody.
-... Alright.
-Now when she comes in, we'll move you right out to the balcony. All you have to say is `thanks for doing this, Ellen.'
-Mr. President...
-What the hell is this?
-The Washington Post.
-That shelter was in this bill.
-Alan
-Lots of shelters were in this bill.
-Uh, Mr. President... I don't believe that's on your agenda today.
-.. Nothing.
-Choices???
-What do you think you're doing?!
-You mean the press conference? I have a couple of ideas I wanted to share with the country.
-You're nothing. Do you understand me! You're NOBODY...
-I'm... not... nobody...
-You're lint! You're a flea! You're a blip!
-... what?
-Oh... I'm fired?
-You're fired.
-Fine?
-Die, you pond scum!
-They say it hit both sides of his brain... Even if he makes it he's gonna be a vegetable.
-I can't believe he'd do this.
-Where's the girl?
-She's a little hysterical right now. We've got her upstairs in a laundry room.
-Nightmare...
-Look... at some point we're going to have to call the Vice President...
-Don't call the Vice President!
-... What?
-Just don't call him, Alan!
-The guy's in a coma, Bob.
-I don't give a shit.
-Bob...
-Till what?
-TilT we figure something out.
-Look, everything can be handled. We'll just find a way to handle it.
-Like how?
-Well, start by going on television and saying that he's had a mild stroke...
-Mild stroke?
-Yes - - and that he ought to be up and around sometime soon.
-Up and around? Soon?
-A condition...
-We think so.
-Do you know how many different kinds of laws we've broken?
-You mean we get `Dave' to nominate you as Vice President.
-I was a senator, you know.
-Oh, I know. And then when our poor President gets another stroke - - of course much more serious this time - - the newly appointed V.P. becomes the Pres...
-I got the nurses for fifty grand a piece and the doctors for a hundred. The older one wanted head of the CDC.
-Is that everybody?
-Duane's guys, but he's got them under control.
-What about her.
-Her?... Oh -- the First Lady... She was giving that commencement speech up in Bryn Mawr. I managed to catch her before she left the hotel.
-And...
-I told her his blood pressure went up after a little incident at `the hotel.' She seems to hate him more than ever.
-Fine.
-Everybody else is buying the minor stroke' story...
-Clean.
-I mean I've checked everything. Women. Liquor... Finances. I went all the way back to his high school race for student body president.
-No one gets to be Vice President by being that clean.
-What about the wife?
-Clean.
-Check his kids.
-Clean.
-Nobody's got clean kids.
-We've got nothing, Bob. This won't work.
-If we find nothing, we get creative. Just make something up. Instead of a couple weeks it'll be a couple of months. The whole thing is under control.
-Okay, let's see... you can have him on Tuesday the 25th...
-Uh, let me get back to you...
-You scheduled a whole day with the First Lady?
-It's a homeless shelter.
-Oh. Excuse me.
-It's gonna be great. 'Caring about his wife.' 'Spending time on her favorite issue...'
-I don't want him caring about his wife! What about the Vice President!
-When does it break?
-Couple of days. Anyhow, look at these tracking polls, they'll burn up in your hands: seventy- three percent with seniors, eighty- four with working mothers...
-Alan, we still have to control this guy...
-And look at this. Russell came around on the trade bill.
-You're kidding.
-How long have you been waiting to pass that thing?
-Three years.
-No!... WE didn't anything...
-What's with the cameras?
-Hundredth cabinet meeting. I thought it was a nice touch.
-Do we have anything on the budget today?
-What are you gonna do?
-I'm going to kill him.
-He's not a President! He's an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person.
-Bob...
-I can kill a HUNDRED ordinary people.
-He's only doing what you told him to.
-What I told him to?
-I heard you. You said 'cut three hundred million dollars from the federal budget, and you can keep your homeless shelter.'
-Well, I didn't mean it, Alan. Why the fuck would I want to save a homeless shelter?
-It's not his job -- It's my job!
-Bob...
-Was he a senator? Is he on the Trilateral Commission? Was he in Who's Who In Washington NINE YEARS Reed wrestles him away from the door, as Bob struggles to get free. I'll destroy him, Alan. I'll shred the bastard!!!
-Don't do this.
-I'll lock him away for good.
-What do you mean by that?
-Just what you think I mean.
-Are you threatening me?
-Uh-oh...
-... But as I began to investigate, I realized that this pattern of corruption extended much higher...
-So you want to go swimming?
-Dave -- I'm working.
-Oh yeah... Me, too. You want to get dinner later?
-I was gonna do something with Joan.
-I'm serious, Dave -- you could get in a lot of trouble for something like this.
-It's fine.
-They could put you in jail.
-I don't think so
-This is undeclared income.
-And who's gonna find out?
-The government
-I gotta tell ya, Dave. I've been going over this a bunch of times and a lot of this stuff just doesn't add up. Who does these books?
-I gotta tell ya, Dave. I've been going over this a bunch of times and a lot of this stuff just doesn't add up. Who does these books?
-I'm not sure.
-I just think they make this stuff a lot more complicated than it has to be.
-I'm not surprised. Can we save anywhere?
-Well, yeah. But you gotta start making some choices.
-Choices?
-You know -- priorities. Remember when you couldn't get your car fixed `cause you wanted to get that piano?
-You could buy it on payments.
-Yeah. That's how you end up with a 400 billion dollar deficit.
-So what do we do?
-Well, there's lots of places where I think you can save, but I'm not the one who's ....... I mean, I'm not the one who's not the Pres...
-Thanks. You did great. Maybe later you could come back and we could go to Camp David or something.
-That'd be great.
-You sure? A Coke or a Perrier or something?
-Now, Dave, something has come up and I think we need to talk about it...
-Look, I'm sorry. I know you said not to talk, but when I saw the crowd I just got excited...
-In fact, we think you did such a good job, we'd like to extend things a little bit.
-Extend things?
-Oh my God...
-I know... I know... It's difficult for all of us. But sometimes we have to put our personal feelings aside and focus on the gQod of the country.
-What happened?
-It's actually kind of serious, Dave. I'm afraid the President's not in very good shape.
-Will he be alright?
-No.
-I'm afraid so.
-You know, on an empty road where you know it's safe and nobody's around...
-I'm not sure... I might have.
-Well, let's say your mother was in the car and you had to get her to a hospital. You'd do it then for sure wouldn't you?
-Well... I gues I would... Yeah.
-Now, let's say the whole country. Was in that car. The entire United States of America.
-In the car?
-In the car.
-Now some of this may feel a bit Strange at first. You gotta remember that even a professional Politician has Some trouble getting used to...
-A teleprompter.
-The teleprompter. Is it hooked up?
-I don't think so.
-Presence.
-Right. Now whenever he stands at a Podium, the President always puts one hand in the pocket of his coat...
-At a press conference.
-What?
-Thanks, I wrote it.
-... Somewhere there is a distant light, guiding us through this rocky shoal...'
-Dave...
-Dave!
-I thought you said I wasn't going to see her.
-It's just five minutes. She comes in. You wave to the press. She leaves.
-Yeah, but the First Lady... Couldn't we start with a cousin or something?
-Fine.
-Gimme a quarter.
-What?
-President vetoes works bill?
-Dave, the budget's a very complicated thing. Even I don't understand it sometimes. Now occasionally we have to make some cuts and...
-Let's call it a night. I can't take any more.
-What do you mean you made it all up?
-We had to, Dave. The guy's a choir boy.
-This is wrong, Alan!
-Wrong...
-Alan...
-We've got to fix this.
-`Dave'?
-Now he's making stuff up about me.
-Yes, Mr. President?
-You're spending forty-three million dollars on an ad campaign to... 'Boost consumer confidence in the American auto industry.'
-And it's proving quite effective...
-Does it make the cars any better?
-No, sir. It's more of a perceptual issue.
-Perceptual?
-Yes, it's designed to bolster individual confidence in a previous domestic automotive purchase.
-Why?
-Well... to shore up product identification and preserve market share.
-So we're spending forty-seven million dollars to make people feel better about a car they've already bought?
-Yes, but I wouldn't...
-This is from the people of Burundi...
-Oh... Thanks.
-What are they?
-Fertility beads.
-Mr. President, may I speak frankly with you?
-Something like what...
-Oh, come on, we're not children. I didn't have anything to do with this Fidelity nonsense and you know it.
-The Fidelity nonsense...
-All I've got is my integrity. That's all I have. Now I don't know why you turned your attack dogs on me.
-They re not my attack dogs.
-What do you mean?
-Oh... Hi.
-Dirty business we're in sometimes.
-Yeah.
-... Sometimes they do.
-You ever think back to how you started.
-What?
-One day my wife says to me 'Why don't you try running for office. You talk about it all the time, why don't you just do it?' So I tell my boss I have a dentist appointment and I go down to the registrar of voters on my lunch break. Next thing I know, I'm a councilman.
-Really?
-How'd you get started?
-Oh my God... I thought it was a legitimate deduction, I swear to God. See... I need a piano for my work sometimes...
-Mr. Kovic. We're not here about your taxes.
-You're not?
-Your government needs your help.
-What?
-Really?
-We'd like to hire you.
-So, how long have they been like that - - you know, him and the First Lady?
-I can't say.
-You mean you don't know or like -- you can't say.
-I can't say.
-So you just protect the President the whole time? That's your whole job?
-Yeah.
-You got a gun?
-You ever use it?
-No.
-Huh. You know what I always wondered the way they say you guys'd take a bullet for the President.
-What about it?
-Well, is that really true? I mean, would you really get killed just to save his life.
-Call Bob and Reed. Tell them I need them immediately.
-I was waiting for that jack.
-You mean with you and everything?
-`Bleed for your king.'
-What's that?
-First thing they teach you at the academy. `Don't give me gold and silver, or other worldly things, just the pride and glory of bleeding for my King.'
-You're kidding.
-But Bill was your king, not Bob.
-Didn't mean to bum you out.
-That's okay. You alright down here by yourself?
-Who?
-The Vice-President...
-Well...
-You sure you don't want a lift back home?
-I would have taken a bullet for I you, Dave.
-What are you staring at?
-Thanks for doing this, Ellen.
-You bet.
-Don't you have anything to say to me?
-Thanks for doing this, Ellen?
-What?
-I care about the homeless.
-... How could I what?
-... You know, if you want to be the same old bastard, that's fine. I can handle it. But don't pull this 'man of the people' bullshit and then do something like this.
-I don't understand.
-That's not just a works bill you vetoed -- that would have given these kids homes... ... When I think about that little spectacle you pulled with those muppets and that magic trick...
-What's wrong with a magic trick?
-Look. If there was some mistake...
-... . Ellen.
-I saw the light. I thought maybe you were up.
-Oh... Yeah.
-Mind if I sit down?
-That was quite a thing you did today.
-Anybody would have done it.
-Kind of reminds me of that thing you did back in the state legislature.
-Oh yeah? Me, too.
-I mean, what is it? Another Secretary? A jaunt to the Bahamas with Some 'campaign worker.' Where is he?
-When were you all planning to tell me? A year from now? After the election... What's going on here? Dave hesitates.
-They asked me to help.
-You're leaving?
-I'm not the First Lady, anymore. I shouldn't be here.
-Where are you going?
-Where's home?
-Just souvenirs. Towels and stuff.
-You1re leaving, too?
-How were you gonna get home?
-You sure this goes somewhere?
-You don't have to keep walking with me. I'm okay from here.
-I don't mind.
-He said he'll pick it up in a couple of days.
-What?
-I lock at you and I see Bill... I mean, he's almost dead, but he's right here... I mean, you're right here... alive and...
-In fact, I'm not anything like him and... I guess I want you to know that.
-Are you hungry?
-What?
-I really don't have much of an appetite.
-That's a secret.
-You have a lot of secrets.
-So what do you do the rest of the time?
-You mean when I'm not running the country?
-Yes.
-You know, secretaries and stiff.
-You find people jobs?
-Yeah. Is that funny?
-It's just more than anybody else does around here.
-You know, Dave -- it is Dave, isn't it? I can't keep all of this a secret.
-I know.
-It was okay?
-Well I guess...
-What?
-I can't.
-I know. I'm sorry...
-I mean, I want to... I just, I feel strange...
-What's wrong?
-They're crucifying you out there.
-Yeah, but we got a little bit done. And if you do a little and I do a little... then maybe the next guy'll do a little...
-You really believe that?
-Yeah. And it's better than not believing it Their faces are inches apart.
-Yeah. He's a good man.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-) Thought I needed a little change. You like it?
-I saw you on T.V... at his funeral.
-I never thought I'd...
-I know.
-I missed...
-So this is it?
-... Not exactly the Oval Office.
-It could be fun.
-I wish I had better news... Our compassion index is off seven points from the last sample and that's down eighteen on the year. The `Cares About People Like Me' numbers are really in the toilet. We're off twenty points from March and that was right after we raised interest rates...
-The Monroe?
-Did you get someone to double for me there, out front?
-We're working on it.
-Try to find someone who looks like me this time. That last guy was a joke.
-We're all set, sir.
-What about the intro?
-It'll be on the teleprompter with the rest of the speech.
-Who's this priest I'm thanking?
-Father Mclntire. He blessed you at the inauguration.
-Oh yeah. Did you take care of later on?
-All set.
-Please...senor...destroy me...one bullet...please.
-Please....shoot me.
-After hanging up there a few days you will be mad for food...crazed! You will lust for it! YOU WILL BE WORSE THAN ANY OF THEM!
-NO...NOOOOOOO...SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME! SHOOOOOOOOOT MEEEEEEEEE!!!
-I'll bargain with you. How many of you are on the island?
-Two of us...only two of us...me...and him.
-I don't believe you, rebel. Where are your headquarters? On the mainland?
-The mainland...is dead...a dead place...nobody there...
-Where are your headquarters, rebel? Tell me or I'll let you hang there forever...FOREVER!
-There are no...headquarters. There are no...rebels. Only the walking dead. Don't you see. They have won.
-Then why did you come here?
-To look...look for a place...a place to live in...an empty place...a... new...place...
-How did you know we were on this island? Do others know? Will others come?
-Help me get him to the boat.
-His madness....could be from shock.
-What is it?
-It's some kind of....elevator. There must be something under the ground here....maybe....military.
-What do we do? Let'em know we're here....or what?
-It can't be. Are we truly in hell?
-What is it?
-Are you alright, Doc? You look... you look real bad.
-I know it hurts. But it won't be long. Then all the pain will be over. Oh, I wish you could hear me. GOD, GIVE HER THE EARS TO HEAR ME SO SHE KNOWS I DON'T WANT HER TO HURT SO!
-Quiet!
-You'd hold us back. We have to go on.
-Well, Miss Henried, what a coincidence. You're just in time fer a case that seems ta concern you. Guess you didn't care about the other proceedin's we been dealin' with here this mornin'.
-I'm sorry. I was...busy. In the lab.
-Miss Henried, I think you better...
-...Captain Rhodes is trying to...
-Sir. It's quite clear that...
-SHUT UP, MISS HENRIED! I TOL' YA B'FORE!
-THIS IS A TRAVESTY! CAPTAIN RHODES IS...
-Now I think Captain's punishment is fair, considerin'. In fact I think you ain't got shit ta complain about.
-I'm sorry, General, if I...spoke out of turn. It's just that...Mr Tyler is not here to defend himself. He has no representation. I don't believe due process is being served by...
-Listen, Missy. I am the only due process that has ta be served aroun' tyere and one of the people doin' the servin' from now on is gonna be you. Now you been prancin' aroun' the Cave like yer ass was glass fer long enough! All that's
-gonna change, young lady. Now if you still got a statement you'd like ta make, you can jus' hold onto it 'til tonight.
-Tonight?
-The great state of Florida. People came here fer years ta die. Retire and expire. The rest o' the country used ta think we was nothin' but a bunch o' farts and fogies. Hah! Now this here's the new Capital o' the World! Hah! They came here...died...went to hell...and the Devil sent 'em back as an army. Hah! General Gasparilla's army...MY ARMY!
-We think there are other cities surviving. We think maybe Detroit... there's some signalling out of Philly.
-There's no place like this place. Warm climate. This facility. Christ, there ain't nothin' like this no-damn-where! Even the Feds knew that. That's why they stored so much o' their shit down here. It's all mine now. All mine. Just let 'em try ta come after us down here, which they will some day...take a likin' ta what all we got an' come after
-It's not a very big army. And small as it is you won't be able to continue feeding it for very long. We've got to find ways of getting them to respond without relying on...
-Bees. That's what we call the dead... the walking dead...here on Gasparilla's island.
-Gasparilla?
-He was a pirate who sailed these waters long ago. His name is bein' borrowed these days by the long lost Henry Dickerson.
-Governor Dickerson? Of Florida?
-That's the man. He's been holed up here ever since the shit hit the fan. Him and his family owned these islands 'round here. They was leasin' this one to the Fed. The whole underneath is dug out. There was missiles here and laboratories and bomb proof housing, nuclear power, all o' that. Now this is Dickerson's....Gasparilla's... private fortress. Him and a bunch o'
-We ran up against a platoon of soldiers. There were actually walking dead...in uniform...with guns.
-Thanks. I can fight my own battles.
-The man I was with...until today... believed that praying was for blind men who couldn't see the truth.
-How we gonna break the curse without a prayer or two.
-Curse?
-What is it if it ain't a curse?
-It's a disease. It's a...a bug...a parasite that infects the brain.
-That sounds like a curse to me.
-We thought we were escaping here. We thought we'd found an uninhabited island. Christ! This place is a worse nightmare than anything I've seen yet!
-I'm sure that's true, miss. And that's why we're doin' what we're doin'. What's happenin' underground here is just what Lucifer planned for this sinful race o' man. But we're gonna beat Lucifer. We're gonna put an end to what's happenin' here.
-Oh, what did I run into? A bunch o' Jesus nuts? Religiosos? Prayer won't stop a bullet from one of those storm troopers and prayer won't keep one of those monsters from eatin' your liver for lunch.
-That's why we didn't use prayers on this here white coat 'til after he was destroyed. We ready to fight when we have to. And we gotta fight now.
-Look. I BEEN fightin', mister. I been fightin' for what feels like a hundred years and I'm finished. I don't need religion. I don't need prayers. I need a couple guns and a couple hands. We can sail on outa here. Find another island where there ain't so much....traffic.
-I can find it myself. I didn't come that far.
-Farther than you think. You'll get lost. You will. And there's Bees all through the jungle. I ain't lyin' to ya. Religiosos don't lie.
-They seem to be havin' a good time. Some punishment.
-Let me go! I'm the one he wants. This is all happening because of me. If I turn myself in...
-Toby's right. They're not gonna sit around with their fingers up their asses while we bust up their toys.
-Datura.
-What?
-Datura Metel. The Devil's Trumpet. Don't worry. I ain't goin' religioso again. It's a flower that grows on these islands. Where I come from the voodoo priests used it whenever they needed a Mickey Finn. It's toxic. Ground up you can put it in a drink or inject it...or...in a sealed area it might be introduced through the ventilation system.
-Datura! Miguel knew it! Datura, he was shouting! Datura Metel!
-We always planned to use it. We got some ground up already...but we could never find enough.
-Looks like just two. We can take 'em when the time comes.
-What is it?
-How long do we have to watch him?
-It's alright. I'm a friend. I need help and so do you. What's a safe place to talk?
-Ain't no place safe.
-I'm gonna have this stuff sent over to the hospital...
-The hospital?
-Yeah. My stuff's all marked with red crosses so nobody gets too nosey. Meet me at the hospital after the supplies come in. Maybe we can find a place there to talk.
-What'dya tell that soldier, soldier? You tell him we was rebels?
-There ya go. Complete with air canisters...little motors.
-We got a boat.
-What?
-I say we got a boat. Can you get other stuff?
-It won't work. That's pure nitro you're dealin' with there. That stuff can blow if you look at is funny. What're you gonna do, walk into the Cave carryin' those tubes on feather pillows? You don't have a complete layout of the place. Even if you manage to avoid a fight you won't know where to go.
-We're hopin' you can show us where ta go, Toby.
-Oh, no. I'm tryin' to get off this island alive. I'll help you all I can but I'm not goin' in there on a suicide mission. What can you hope to accomplish? Some radios maybe? A supply room or two? You'll all be killed and in a few weeks they'll be back to business as usual. That place was built to withstand nuclear attack!
-We're gonna blow up the powder magazine.
-What?
-We know what's down there. We did the loading' and unloadin' when the stuff came ashore in the early days. A direct hit oughta do more than a few weeks worth o' damage.
-This stuff really works? No shit?
-Quicker than gas. And it smells a lot prettier. It usually don't kill but it puts ya under fer a good night's sleep.
-If you could knock out the central communications room you could foul up their whole intercom system. Then, if you move fast enough, stay ahead of 'em...without bein' able to signal each other, they might have a hard time catchin' you.
-That entrance is closest to the labs and the Bee cages.
-That's the general alarm. Jesus! They musta got in!
-What you wanna do?
-I didn't realise! Those were de-caps! I didn't know that....de-caps... revived!
-Any dead whose brains are intact will revive.
-But...we bury the heads. Oh. God! It must be torture for them!
-They are brutes without feeling. Though I admit that I've requested cremation for myself. Burial is an archaic tradition, even more ridiculous now than it ever was. To say nothing of the...spacing problem...on a small island like this.
-I thought the purpose of decapitation was to...to...
-He is dying. He knows it.
-You are dying, too.
-Prayers have no power to save. The knife can save. It can cut the disease away. The bullet. It can shatter the brain where the evil takes seed. These are saviours...our new saviours...our only saviours.
-We must wait. One day the curse will pass. One day a dead man will... will...
-One day a dead man will refuse to return, and that man will be a saint. The first saint of our century. That's a prayer, too. A catechism. Something the priests tell us to believe.
-You can believe this, Miguel. I'll kill you if you shoot. We must wait. I'll....I'll do it....I'll do it myself....when it needs to be done.
-Dios mia.
-TONY....TONY....
-Aaaaaaah...my God...my God...I am heartily sorry...for having offended Thee....offended Thee...
-Shhhhh....Tony. Rest, rest.
-NOOOOOOOOO!
-Come, come, Miss Science. You've seen worse.
-God....damn you, Rhodes!
-God has damned us all. Are my atrocities worse than yours?
-You have ruined weeks of work here! We've been trying to wean these specimens onto alligator meat!
-You gave them a fresh taste of blood!
-You can't run away from the planet, Miss Science. You can't even run away from the island, heh heh.
-You're....you're disgusting! You're....FILTH!
-Julie Grant is a behaviouralist. She's not medical. She hasn't been as...exposed to...to things...as some of the rest of us. She'll be alright. I'll talk to her. She'll be alright.
-Oh, I have no doubt.
-If you put her on the shit list because of her reaction here tonight I'll go to Dickerson.
-Ah, yes, our noble Gasparilla does seem to favour you lately. I understand he assigned you a roommate of your choice. The rest of us have to pick names out of a hat.
-I had an unfortunate little run-in with him today. In fact...you might say that Mr. Tyler is in big trouble with the...authorities.
-You better not mess with me, Rhodes. I'd love to serve your balls to those Red Coats for lunch! Think about it!
-Sir. In the matter of the State versus Private Tyler, I don't want to...
-Toby...thank God...wait here. I gotta find out what's goin' on.
-Hey. Slow down. What is it?
-Some of Rhodes' men. At the door.
-That bastard. I didn't think he'd make his move so fast.
-It's because of me.
-Oh, bullshit, Mary. It's because Rhodes is a prick.
-I want you to leave. Then maybe...
-We're both gonna leave. Leave the island. I've been talkin' to Tricks. We think we can smuggle out one of those inflatable rafts. They're crated up real small. They've got air canisters. There's food inside. Even a little motor.
-I am not...a guerilla fighter, Toby. I'm not a pioneer. I'm not...I'm not strong that way. I need...
-Need what? Civilised order like we have down here? Christ!
-I can work here. Maybe my work can help...help everyone. I can do more good with access to this equipment than I can off in some wasteland.
-Mary.
-I'll have somebody's ass for this. I'll have your ass, soldier. I'm not gonna stand here and...
-Where are you going, Tyler?
-My..."detail", sir. We're going to bury the heads.
-No time for that. I'll take care of them.
-Just....following procedure, sir. They're entitled to burial.
-Step up here, Tyler.
-You fired that shot, didn't you?
-No, sir.
-It's been fired.
-Hey, Tricks. Some detail they got you on.
-Not as bad as yours, pal.
-What'dya get?
-Rafts. Two 38s. A little ammo.
-Tricks...Jesus...
-No relation. Never heard of him. Sorry.
-Say Steve, where's your manners? Here's Mutt's brother and you don't offer him a drink? Want some bourbon?
-So what the hell's Mutt been up to?
-Actually I don't really know Mutt.
-Well, I'd better find Patsy. Say hello to Mutt for me.
-Sounds boring to me.
-Don't come.
-You know how many demerits we're talking?
-So don't goddam come! Please.
-All I'm saying is we have to be careful. We can't get caught.
-I'm in as long as we're careful.
-Do they go to Henley Hall?
-I don't think they're in school.
-They're townies?!
-Cameron, what is the matter with you. You act like they're your mother or something. You afraid of them?
-Charlie Dalton.
-Why doesn't he let you do what you want?
-How was dinner?
-Thigh man? Mr. "K" was a hell raiser.
-I don't know. I don't get it.
-Come on. It'll help you get Chris.
-It will? How do you figure?
-Women swoon!
-The millions are awake enough for Physical labor; but only one in a million is awake enough for effective intellectual exertion, only one in a hundred millions to a poetic or divine life. To be awake is to be alive.
-I feel like I've never been alive. For years I've been risking nothing. I have no idea what I am or what I want to do! Neil, you know you want to act. Knox wants Chris.
-Needs Chris! Must have Chris!
-God, I can't take it anymore! If I don't have Chris, I'll kill myself.
-Knox, you gotta calm down.
-Can you believe it? She was gonna call me! She invited me to a party with her!
-At Chet Danburry's house.
-Yeah.
-Well?
-So?
-So you really think she means you're going with her?
-Well hell no, Charlie, but that's not the point. That's not the point at all!
-What is the point?
-How'd it go? Did you read it to her?
-What do you mean you don't know?
-Well, welcome to "Hell"ton.
-It's every bit as hard as they say. Unless you're a genius like Meeks.
-He flatters me so I'll help him with Latin.
-Oh come on, Cameron, don't you get anything?
-All right. I'll try anything once.
-Yaa, I'm a dead poet!
-Ahh! Eat it, Dalton!
-Hey guys, why don't you show Tina the Dead Poets garden?
-Well...
-I hereby declare this the Charles Dalton Cave for Passionate Experimentation. In the future, anyone wishing entry must have permission from me.
-Wait a minute, Charlie. This should belong to the club.
-Well, of course not. It's just that... You could have warned us.
-Oh God, it's over now!
-Why? Nobody knows who we are.
-Don't you think they'll figure out who did it?! Don't you know they'll come to you and demand to know what the Dead Poets Society is? Charlie, you had no right to do something like that!
-Damn it, Nuwanda. You idiot.
-But what if they see it, Nuwanda?
-I here and now commit myself to daring!
-Mr. Keating!
-I don't know what misguided impulse caused you to pull that ridiculous stunt, Mr. Dalton, but, whatever it was, I hope you've learned your lesson.
-You're siding with Mr. Nolan?! What about carpe diem and sucking all the marrow out of life and all that?
-Sucking out the marrow doesn't mean getting the bone stuck in your throat, Charles. You still have responsibilities to yourself and those who care about you.
-Yeah? Like what?
-Like, if nothing else, the opportunity to attend my classes, understand?
-Yes sir.
-Anything else you'd care to rifle through, Mr. Dalton?
-It's such a strange name! Won't you tell us what it means?
-I told you, that's a secret.
-Yeah! Don't you guys miss having girls here?
-That's right, it's Nuwanda.
-I think he's sweet.
-You know what really excites me about you?
-What?
-Every guy that I meet wants me for one thing my body. You're not like that.
-I'm not?
-No! Anybody else would have jumped my bones by now but you're after my soul. Make me up some more poetry.
-But...
-Nuwanda? Please?
-Don't stop.
-"O, no, it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken."
-Welcome. back, Mr. Dalton. How's your father?
-Doing fine, sir.
-Yes sir. We were just talking about that.
-Welton Academy, hello? Yes, he is, just a moment. Mr. Nolan, it's for you.
-Who else was involved in this?
-No one, sir. It was just me. I did the proofing so I inserted my article in place of Rob Crane's.
-Do you still insist that this was your idea and your idea alone?
-Yes... sir.
-What is this "Dead Potts Society"? I want names.
-It's only me, Mr. Nolan. I swear. I made it up.
-Hey, I heard you went to summer school?
-Yeah, chemistry. My father thought I should get ahead.
-Well, Meeks aced Latin and I didn't quite flunk English so if you want, we've got our study group.
-Sure, but Cameron asked me too. Anybody mind including him?
-Hey, he's your roommate.
-Todd's brother is Jeffrey Anderson.
-Okay, so I don't like it any more than you do. I'm just saying
-I don't know about anyone else, but I could use a refresher in Latin. Eight o'clock in my room?
-Sure.
-Who's in?
-I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately." I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life!"
-All right. I'll second that.
-Charlie, That was great! Where did you learn to play like that?
-Charlie...
-It's Nuwanda.
-Nuwanda, what is going on?
-Where'd you find them?
-You what?! How did you do that?
-You still shouldn't have done it, Charlie. You don't speak for the club.
-What happened? Were you kicked out?
-No.
-What happened?
-What are you going to do? - Charlie?
-Why don't you talk to Mr. Keating about it?
-What good will that do?
-Maybe he'll have some advice. Maybe he'll even talk to your father.
-This is stupid.
-It's all right, Chet.
-Chris. We got it. Let's go.
-Oh Chet, that feels fabulous,
-It does? What?
-Don't stop.
-Stop what?
-What are you doing?!
-You fucked up little prick!
-Pleased to meet you.
-So, uh, where are you in school?
-That's your sister school, right?
-Sort of.
-Hello?
-Hello Chris, this is Knox Overstress.
-Knox. Oh yes, Knox. I'm glad you called.
-Well, sure!
-Chet's parents don't know about it, so please keep it quiet. But you can bring someone if you like.
-Oh, hi. I'm glad you made it. Did you bring anybody?
-No.
-Ginny Danburry's here. Look for her.
-But, Chris...
-carpe breastum. Seize the breast.
-Chris!
-If Chet sees you, he'll kill you, don't you know that?
-I don't care. I love you, Chris. You deserve better than Chet and I'm it. Please accept these.
-Knox, I don't believe this!
-Chris!
-Knox, why are you doing this to me?
-If they catch you here, we'll both be in big trouble.
-Oh, but it's fine for you to come barging into my school and make a complete fool out of me?
-I didn't mean to make a fool of you.
-Well, you did! Chet found out and he's nuts. It took everything I could do to keep him from coming here and killing you. You have to stop this stuff, Knox.
-But I love you.
-Of course I know you! From the first time I saw you, I knew you had a wonderful soul.
-Just like that?! You just knew?
-Of course just like that. That's how you always know when it's right.
-And if it so happens that you're wrong? If it just so happens that I could care less About you?
-Look, I've got to go. I'm gonna be late for the play.
-Are you going with Chet?
-Chet? To a play? Are you kidding?
-Then come with me.
-Knox, you are so infuriating!
-Just give me one chance. If you don't like me after tonight, I'll stay away forever.
-Uh-huh.
-I promise. Dead Poets honor. Come with me tonight, then if you don't want to see me again, I swear I'll bow out.
-God, if Chet found out he'd...
-Chet won't know anything. We'll sit in back and sneak away as soon as it's over.
-Knox, if you promise that this will be the end of it-
-Dead Poets honor.
-What is that?
-I have to go home. Chet might call.
-We thought it would be good to break old habits, sir.
-What is wrong with old habits, Mr. Overstreet?
-They perpetuate mechanical living, sir. They limit your mind.
-Mr. Overstreet, I suggest you worry less about breaking old habits and more about developing good study habits. Do you understand?
-Yes sir.
-Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. The Latin term for that sentiment is "Carpe Diem." Anyone know what that means?
-Carpe Diem... seize the day.
-Very good, Mr._?
-Meeks.
-The hoi polloi. Doesn't it mean the herd?
-And don't limit poetry to the word. Poetry can be found in a work of art, music, a photograph, in the way a meal is prepared--anything with the stuff of revelation in it. It can exist in the most everyday things but it must never, never be ordinary By all means, write about the sky or a girl's smile but when you do, let
-Oh Captain, My Captain. What if we don't know anything about someone like Rahesh Non?
-We used to meet here on special occasions. Who would like to convene the meeting?
-This was my first classroom, John, did you know that? My first desk.
-I didn't know you taught.
-English. Way before your time. It was hard giving it up, I'll tell you. I'm hearing rumors, John, of some unusual teaching methods in your classroom. I'm not saying they have anything to do with the Dalton boy's outburst, but I don't think I have to warn you that boys his age are very impressionable.
-Your reprimand made quite an impression I'm sure.
-What was going on in the courtyard the other day?
-Courtyard?
-Boys marching. Clapping in unison.
-Oh that. That was an exercise to prove a point. About the evils of conformity.
-John, the curriculum here is set. It's proven. It works. If you question it, what's to prevent them from doing the same?
-I always thought education was learning to think for yourself.
-A yawp?
-Good god, boy! Yell!
-Yawp!
-Again! Louder!
-YAWP!
-LOUDER!
-AHHHHHH!
-Todd, there's a picture of Whitman over the door. What does he remind you Of? Quickly, Anderson, don't think about it.
-A madman.
-A madman. Perhaps he was. What kind of madman? Don't think! Answer.
-A crazy madman.
-Use your imagination! First thing that pops to your mind, even if it's gibberish!
-A... A sweaty-toothed madman.
-Now there's the poet speaking! Close your eyes and think of the picture. Describe what you see. NOW!
-I... I close my eyes. His image floats beside me.
-A sweaty-toothed madman
-A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain.
-Excellent! Have him act. Give it rhythm!
-Stretch it, pull it, it will never cover any of us. Kick at it, beat at it, it will never be enough-
-Don't stop!
-Come on boys, don't be shy.
-Mr. Keating? Sir? Oh Captain My Captain. What was the Dead Poets Society?
-Ah, so you boy's have been snooping.
-I was just looking in an old annual and...
-What did the name mean. Did you only read dead poets.
-Oh Captain, My Captain, we came here so I could talk to you about something.
-Okay.
-Gosh, they don't give you much room around here, do they?
-Maybe they don't want worldly things distracting me from my teaching.
-Why do you do it? I mean, with all this seize-the-day business, I'd have thought you'd be out seeing the world or something?
-Ah, but I am seeing the world, Neil. The new world. Seeing a student like you take root and bloom. It's worth everything. That's why I came back here. A place like this needs at least one teacher like me. Did you come here to talk about my teaching?
-Mr. Keating, my father is making me quit the play at Henley Hall. When I think about carpe diem and all that, I feel like I'm in prison! I mean, I can see his point. We're not a rich family like Charlie's. But he's planned the rest of my life for me and he's never even asked me what I want!
-You can't live a life for someone else, Neil. You can only live for yourself. Have you told your father what you just told me? Have you shown him your passion about acting?
-Are you kidding? He'd kill me!
-Neil, I know this seems impossible but you have to go to your father and show him what you're feeling. You have to let him see who you are- It's your only chance.
-I know what he'll say. He'll say that acting is just a whim and that it's frivolous and that I should forget about it. He'll tell me how they're counting on me and to put it out of my mind "for my own good."
-Well, if it's more than a whim, then you'll have to prove that to him. You'll have to show him with your passion and commitment that it's what you really want to do. If that doesn't work, at least by then you'll be eighteen and able to do what you want.
-Eighteen! That's two years! What about the play? The performance is tomorrow night!
-Give your father the benefit of the doubt. Talk to him. Let him see who you are.
-Isn't there an easier way?
-What did your father say? Did you talk to him?
-Yeah.
-Really? You told your father what you told me? You let him see your passion for acting?
-Too bad.
-It's not too bad. It's a tragedy! Why does she have to be in love with a jerk?!
-All the good ones go for jerks, you know that. Forget her. Take out your trig book and figure out problem twelve.
-You really think I should forget her?
-Damn. Damn! If I could just get Chris to read this poem!
-Why don't you read it to her? It worked for Nuwanda.
-She won't even see me, Pitts.
-All right! What'd she say?
-Wait a minute. I don't let my parents walk on me.
-All right. Jesus, what are you gonna do?
-They're friends of my dad. Probably in their nineties or something.
-Are you crazy? What's wrong with that?
-You know what the dead poets would say: Gather ye rosebuds while ye may...
-Where are you going?
-I certainly wouldn't lose any sleep over it. It's just a bunch of people trying to impress Nolan.
-Any group pictures in the annual?
-His grades are hurting, Charlie.
-If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.
-I gotta get to the tryouts. Wish me luck.
-But father, I'm assistant editor.
-I'm sorry, Neil.
-But father, it's not fair.
-I will not be disputed in public, do you understand me?
-Father, I wasn't disputing you.
-When you've finished medical school and you're on your own, you can do as you please. Until then, you will listen to me.
-Yes sir. I'm sorry.
-You know what this means to your mother, don't you?
-You know me, always taking on too much.
-Father!
-Neil, you are going to quit this ridiculous play immediately.
-Don't you dare talk back to me! It's bad enough that you've wasted your time with this absurd acting business. But you deliberately deceived me! Who put this in your head? How did you expect to get away with it? Answer me!
-Nobody- I thought I'd surprise you. I've got all As and-
-Did you really think I wouldn't find out?! "My niece is in a play with your son," Mrs. Marks says. "You must be mistaken," I say. "My son isn't in a play." You made a liar out of me, Neil! Now you will go tomorrow and tell them you are quitting.
-Father, I have the main part. The performance is tomorrow night. Father, please.
-I don't care if the world is coming to an end tomorrow night, you are through with that play! Is that clear? Is that clear!
-Weird.
-I say we go tonight. Everybody in?
-Where is this cave he's talking about?
-Beyond the stream. I think I know.
-What is this, a midnight study group?
-Look at this.
-What is it?
-I hear we're going to be roommates. Neil Perry.
-Why'd you leave Balincrest?
-My brother went here.
-My parents wanted me here all along but my grades weren't good enough. I had to go to Balincrest to pull them up.
-Well, you've won the booby prize. Don't expect to like it here.
-So what do you think of my father?
-I'll take him over mine.
-What?
-Nothing.
-Want to come to the study group?
-What is it then?
-I... I just don't want to come.
-But why? Don't you understand what Keating is saying? Don't you want to do something about it?
-Yes. But
-Put what? Goddamn it, tell me.
-I don't want to read.
-What?
-Keating said everybody took turns reading. I don't want to do it.
-I've found it.
-Found what?
-A Midsummer Night's Dream. What is it?
-A play, dummy.
-I know that. What's it got to do with you?
-They're putting it on at Henley Hall. See, open try-outs.
-So?
-So I'm gonna act! Ever since I can remember I've wanted to try it. Last summer I even tried to go to summer stock auditions but of course my father wouldn't let me.
-And now he will?
-Neil, how are you gonna be in a play if your father won't let you?
-First I gotta get the part, then I'll worry about that.
-Won't he kill you if you don't let him know you're auditioning?
-As far as I'm concerned, he won't have to know about any of it.
-Come on, that's impossible.
-Horseshit. Nothing's impossible.
-Why don't you ask him first? Maybe he'll say yes.
-That's a laugh. If I don't ask, at least I won't be disobeying him.
-But if he said no before then...
-By the way, there's a meeting this afternoon. You coming?
-None of what Mr. Keating has to say means shit to you, does it?
-What is that supposed to mean?
-Being in the club means being stirred up by things. You look about as stirred up as a cesspool.
-You want me out... is that what you're saying?
-No, I want you in. But being in means you gotta do something. Not just say you're in.
-Listen Neil, I appreciate your interest in me but I'm not like you. When you say things, people pay attention. People follow you. I'm not like that.
-Why not? Don't you think you could be?
-No! I don't know, I'll probably never know. The point is, there's nothing you can do about it so butt out, all right? I can take care of myself just fine. All right?
-Er No.
-No? What do you mean 'no'?
-Neil, how are you gonna do this?
-Sssh. That's what I'm taking care of. They need a letter of permission.
-From you?
-From my father and Nolan.
-Neil, you're not gonna...
-Todd, what's the matter?
-It's my birthday.
-This is your desk set. I don't get it.
-They gave me the exact same thing as last year!
-Oh..
-Well, maybe they thought you'd need another one. Maybe they thought...
-Look, Todd, you're obviously under- estimating the value of this desk set.
-what?
-I mean, this is one special gift! Who would want a football or a baseball bat or a car when they could get a desk set as wonderful as this one!
-Here, villain, draw and ready. where art thou?
-I will be with thee straight.
-Follow me then to plainer ground. God, I love this!
-This play?
-You should come to rehearsals. I know they need people to work the lights and stuff.
-No thanks.
-Lots of girls. The girl who plays Hermia is incredible.
-I'll come to the performance.
-Chicken shit. Where were we?
-Yea, art thou there?
-Put more into it!
-YEA, ART THOU THERE?!
-Visit from my father.
-Do you have to quit the play?
-You the Captain?
-Yes.
-How do we get out of here?
-Who are you?
-He's the owner...
-It's not going to help us!
-They are...they are everywhere.
-Who?
-We don't even know if his boat is still there...you saw Billy!
-Nobody's shooting nobody...come on, just let us through the hatch!
-I once saw a guy put a fish in a bottle, then he corked it, sealing it tight, and threw it to a baby octopus. The little sucker felt its way around that bottle, and in less than two minutes, got that cork off, slid inside, and ate that fish.
-What the hell are you talking about?
-And what? These things are octopusses?
-You remember the first time we met Finnegan? I think you were just starting out...smuggling gold off Sumatra for those two Chinese...what did we use to call them?
-Fok Yu and Fok Yu Two...are we strolling down memory lane for any particular reason?
-No, it just struck me as odd...I don't see you for all these years and you've still got the same tape stuck in the box.
-Right here...middle of nowhere...
-Right here...middle of nowhere...and the answer to your question is yes.
-Which question is that?
-The one you came up to ask...are we on schedule?
-Don't mind him Finnegan...you remember 25...balls of steel... splashing around in a sea of testosterone.
-This isn't right Finnegan. I've got a contract.
-20 hours on the clock. Out and back. Double for overtime.
-And no questions asked.
-Who asked any?
-He did...with a crowbar...you know the rules on a broken contract.
-Speedboat in the middle of the ocean...
-How soon can we get up and running?
-We can't...we got one engine dead, and the other limping badly.
-We were talking about my schedule...
-You're going to have to get a new one.
-Not an option.
-Great woman your mother. Real foresight.
-I assume somebody up there has made sure no distress signal can be sent.
-Where are my men?
-Hanover, listen...
-Now, where's Mulligan? Where's Vivo?
-Shut up! Shut up all of you! Now here's what we're doing... Mamooli is going to take you back to fix your engines, Chin and I are staying here to finish the job...
-Did you clear this?
-Who gives a shit about aft?
-That's where my boat's moored.
-You trying to take over my show Finnegan, that what you trying to do?
-Maybe we lost them.
-I'm not staying here!
-Now look what you did!
-I saved your life is what I did!
-What other bunch?
-The thieves.
-I'm not a thief.
-Then who are you?
-Unless you collected on the insurance...
-What are you people talking about?
-I was born in a City housing project in the Bronx OK? It's not in the cards that I die on a luxury cruise ship...now which way up?
-Noooo!
-Jesus Christ lady...
-What are those things?
-Hey! Hey! Where are you going?
-But what makes you think there aren't more of those...things...back there?
-You don't have to be so touchy.
-Look lady, I know you people are used to getting your way...
-What's that supposed to mean? You people.
-You people...rich people...
-I'm not rich people.
-Well, you sure do a good imitation.
-So this boat of yours...that's what you do? Give people...rides.
-That's what I do.
-Seen a lot of islands?
-Quite a few.
-Since I'm a kid, I had this dream... I want to own my own tropical island... Beaches, warm ocean, lots of food, little clothes...population of one...
-Anti social?
-Self sufficient...
-With the emphasis on SELF, and in selfish, right?
-I don't know where it is!
-Got it?
-Hey! I didn't have to come back.
-Yeah you did...
-Right... You have a boat.
-Boat or no boat... You woulda come back anyway. You're that kind of gal.
-Oh yeah? What kind is that?
-The "come back" kind.
-How do you know that?
-Like cattle...
-You're saying they can think?
-What's the matter?
-What is it?
-A meat locker.
-Looking good...
-So how do you get from the Bronx to the South China sea?
-I was so goddamn close, Finnegan! So goddamn close to my island... I could almost taste the sand...
-It's not them...it's it...
-What?
-Oh my god! Oh my god! How do we do it? How do we get there?
-Finnegan...
-Yeah...
-There's not much horsepower left in the engines, but there's enough noise...once this baby's set...I'll rev it up...that slimy bastard will come for it like candy...
-If you blow up your boat, how are we going to get to the island?
-How about noise? Can you get noise? We don't need speed, just noise, right?
-You want ME to go up there?
-Not unless you can wire a missle or fix an engine.
-I don't mean to drop in unannounced ...you ready...
-Three minutes...I'm not back...no matter what...you go...
-No...
-You don't take orders very well, do you?
-I don't take orders at all.
-Where's you friend?
-Let's just keep going.
-The hulls of these things are supposed to be impregnable...
-So?
-So...If the hull's impregnable why are my feet wet?
-Hanover!! Hanover!!
-Shut up! You hear me!!
-...we gotta get outta here -- NOW.
-Can we use our indoor voice please...
-If I told you once...I told you a thousand times...
-Here's what I think...I think these mokes below are a hit sqaud.
-...Jagger was here...I was here...
-You don't give a shit about anything do you?
-Sure I do...I give a shit that at 0300 hour we reach our point of dentination. I give a shit that those mojos got to do what they got to do, and 45 minutes later we are turn around and gone. I give a shit that by the time the sun comes up we are all safely tucked in bed.
-That's it? That's all you give a shit about?
-What did you do the my kids!!
-Me??
-I think he knows that Joey.
-You know what I'm gonna do after this...I'm gonna get a normal life...
-Joey...
-Joey...it's okay...
-What? You don't think I can have a normal life?
-It's okay...come on...
-Finnegan, what the hell was that?
-I don't know...you got what we need?
-Joey... Which way's aft?
-Don't shoot!! Don't shoot!!
-Not even a Joey, I'm glad to see you? Joey, what happened to your leg?
-Joey, you want to get sucked out by a giant fucking mutated squid?
-Red cross over to blue double blue ...is that what it is? A squid?
-Squid...squid like...squid type... it's got tentacles, a feed sac... probably one central nervous processor somewhere...what the hell do I know is going on deep down in the ocean...there's all sorts of shit we've never seen...eighty foot clams...60 foot sharks...I'm just guessing...can you get me more juice out of Hercules...fast?
-Can somebody tell me what the object of the exercise is here?
-I've never seen you so congenial with a mamber of the opposite sex... The two of you got a nice patter going...got a nice rapport...
-You know what I think? I think our luck has just about run shit out...
-A little to the left...
-I think we gotta stop floating from one fucked up situation to the next...
-I'm telling you, man, we got to give the future some serious thought.
-I have been.
-And what have you come up with?
-Man, don't go up there...
-She's gone...
-Second whistle you make it to the deck and get ready to jump...
-All you're gonna do is get yourself killed...and for what? Some chick?
-Was it the water in my eyes or were you guys about to...
-Joey...
-Because it's cool, you know, I can always take a walk or something down the beach...
-Joey...
-Or maybe not.
-I mean...where is everbody?
-You tell it straight or I pull the trigger. Who are you?
-Where are you going?
-Why don't you back off?
-You know what my goal is? Before I die I want to make love to a woman from every country on earth.
-You mean countries that are acknowledged by the UN...or like made up countires too?
-What the hell does that mean?
-I thought the plan was we'd evacuate them after we got through.
-Maybe plans changed...
-What was that?
-Nothing.
-Someone's back there.
-Check it out!
-I'm not screwing around with you man...I hate the cold water.
-What is it man?
-Maybe it's the wrong ship.
-Hey! What are you trying to pull!
-Why don't you help us so we can get done faster so we can get the hell out of here?
-Don't shoot, man, don't shoot!
-What's there to think about?? That THING back there...
-She fucked you?
-She fucked me.
-She fucked me too.
-She fucked you?
-She fucked us both.
-Yeah.
-Fucking women, man...
-Fuel up. Need fuel.
-Those are mine!
-You want 'em?
-Damn right!
-That's mustard!
-What?
-You just put mustard on your Hershey bar.
-I'll get the boots.
-Get the boots.
-Maxie! Hey Maxie wha'd'ya say!
-Here. Here we go. Here's to you, Nick!
-Yes, Albert?
-John,we're going huntin'.
-Who's going?
-We're all going.
-Nick's going?
-Nick, Vince, Albert and John.
-Here's to huntin'.
-Sweet! Oh, that is sweet!
-Damn right!
-And we want you to know, Sal, that any help you might need--
-Ammo! Get the ammo!
-It is not!
-This is it. Definitely. This is it, but they changed it.
-You're full of shit.
-Who's full of shit?
-You're full of shit!
-I'm telling you, they changed it!
-They did not!
-They did too!
-I thought that was it.
-It's gotta be the next one. I mean it's gotta be! Right, Albert?
-Fuckin' A. It's gotta!
-What the --!
-It's Nick!
-Where the hell were you? We were all set -- beer, broads. Right? Am I right?
-Fuckin' guy's been shooting slants, Albert! I mean, what do you think?
-I know, but...
-What do you think? You think he's been picking flowers? Fuckin' guy's been saving your ass, Albert. Everybody's ass! Even in Europe!
-Tell him, Vince!
-Hey, Nick, I mean... This here is for the guy that gets caught!
-Let's go!!!
-You're full of shit, Vince! You're so full of shit you're going to float away!
-Who? Who is?
-You, Vince! You! You are! You're a crock! You're a walking, talking crock!... I mean, what do you know?
-I know! I fuckin' know!
-You don't!
-I do!!!
-I'm tellin' you she does it, Vince! With twenty guys you know!
-She does not!
-Then what's the gun for! What's this for?
-In case!!! The gun's in case!!!
-In case???!!! In case of what? In case you stumble on her, suckin' cock in the front fucking hall?!
-She might!!! She might do it, Albert, but you can't fuckin' tell me that she does!!!
-Albert! For Christ's sake... John! Wait a minute, you guys!
-It won't open.
-You gotta hit it here. Here, Albert, not there.
-Where should I hit it? Just show me where I should hit it.
-That's new, isn't it?
-Couple of weeks... Listen --
-Whee-uu!
-I got delayed. I --
-Look who's talkin'! Jes'! He got married! Vince got married!
-Married?
-He's serious. Vince is fuckin' serious!
-Fucking A.
-He's real bad, Nick.
-Well, where the hell is he!!! I mean what are we all sitting here for!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???
-Nick! Nick, you'll kill him!... Easy. Nick, easy! Hey, hey. Vince goes back a long way.
-You're back.
-Yeah.
-I'm glad. Seriously... I'm very glad.
-Angela, I just heard Sal was alive.
-Sure. Why not.
-Where? Where is he?
-Nick, he's fine. He's in a hospital and they're fixing him up.
-You talk to him?
-Oh, sure... Twice a day.
-What hospital is he in? Where?
-Nick... Sal is very weak. He suffered a severe wound... and right now he doesn't want a whole lot of people to get involved in a whole thing.
-Hey, Angela, Sal and I go back a long way.
-Did you ever think life would turn out like this?
-No.
-I have to go.
-But you must come in.
-No, I --
-But I insist.
-I have to go.
-See, I'm going home.
-Ah yes. Of course. To the girl who waits.
-Yeah... Do you mind if I sit?
-But of course! Please make yourself comfortable. Perhaps you would enjoy some fresh caviar, or une petite glace, or --?
-No. None of that.
-C'est tres amusant... You have been promoted. And to a Jew... I am joking of course. Naturellement. Seriously, Nick, may I hope that you have come to play?
-I came to see Merle.
-Ah. Merle. And you know Merle?
-Yeah.
-You are his friend.
-Where is he???
-I love Linda, see. I love Linda more than I can even say.
-Everybody love Linda.
-That's right. That's exactly what I mean!
-I love Linda. Myself, I love Linda so much!
-Only,good people love Linda, see. What Linda has, Linda --
-How you like to have nice fuck with Linda? You like that? Special, crazy fuck just like with Linda?
-You mean...?
-You like to call me Linda now?
-Linda, yeah.
-Wait! First I give you special fuck!
-She's in back.
-Thanks.
-How was huntin'?
-Oh. Fine.
-Get anything?
-No.
-Those fuckin' niggers. This time I'm going to eat balls!... You ever try 'em?
-Naw.
-Boy, do I love this conflict. Huh?... What the hell were you doin' in there?
-You know a guy named Merle?
-Merle? That's who we're looking for. Merle.
-Yeah?
-Sure! I got eight hundred potatoes says he goes one more... He retired, you know.
-Yeah?
-Hey, guys...
-Look at that, see... Watch. Wait a minute, watch. There! D'j'u see that? D'j'u see the way he... You know what that guy is doing? That guy is squeezing her ass!
-Oh, well...
-Get 'em! For Christ sake, get 'em!
-Holy shit!
-Vince. Hey, you guys --
-Take last night...! Last night he coulda had twenty fuckin' deer! More! He coulda had more! And look what he does! I mean look what he fuckin' does!!!
-Hey, Nick...
-'Course how could you miss, right? Twenty, maybe thirty feet. I mean, if I'd'a been where you guys were --
-Where's it gone?
-Nick! Hey, Nick! Boy! Boy oh boy! Are you okay? You're okay, huh?
-Fine. Hey, I'm fine.
-Rough, huh?
-Rough. We didn't have to do it, John.
-No?
-No. How's Angela? How's she taking it?
-Not so good.
-No?
-Sal.
-Talked to Sal? Sal's alive?
-Kind of. You didn't know?
-Why?... What do you mean?... Why???
-Nick, she won't say why.
-But Sal's mother! What about Sal's mother!
-She's out of her tree, Nick. She is straight out of her tree.
-Biederman! Where's Biederman!
-Here.
-You Biederman?
-Biederman, yes.
-Please! Please mister, please! This is vital I go to Saigon. This is very important. Most important.
-Listen, Biederman, I'm going to club you into the floor unless you tell me what the fuck is so important.
-That I must not tell you. Top secret. You see there. Topmost secret.
-Biederman!
-Linda...
-Hi. Nick, your shoes are soaking.
-Linda, what's the matter?
-I was just wondering... Nick... You're going hunting... If I could use this place to stay, because...
-Sure. Are you kidding? Sure.
-I'd want to pay you... and I was thinking --
-Linda... Hey, Linda...
-I would want to pay you, Nick... and I was thinking --
-Linda, Linda...!
-What?
-Will you marry me?
-Okay.
-I don't know what we've been waiting for!
-Sit with Linda, man, will ya?... Give her a beer. Would you like a beer?
-Sure.
-What kind of beer would you like?
-I don't know.
-I thought... Oh, Nick, I thought you were hurt, some accident. Maybe you fell or maybe some car... I thought someone stole you away!
-No.
-How are you?
-Fine. I'm fine. How are you?
-Fine. I just go along, you know. Down at the market. Back here. I mean it just seems there's a million things to do!... Are you sure you're all right? I mean, what about the wound?
-That was nothing. That wasn't anything.
-But --
-It was just the complications. I mean, you take a little thing over there and then you get complications. I mean all the guys had it.
-How's the trailer?
-Great. Fine... Once or twice it did fall off the blocks. I don't know what that's from.
-Frost.
-Is that what it is? I couldn't figure out.
-Did you get hurt? You didn't get hurt?
-Nick?... I just want to say how sorry I am about Sal and about Merle. How... I know you loved them and I know it's not the same. I mean now.
-Naw, it's... I mean...
-Maybe... I don't know, if you want to talk --
-Does this... I mean, how does this job work out?
-No-o-o!
-I'll kill 'em. Anybody bothers you, I'll kill 'em!
-Nick?
-What are you doing?
-Oh. Nothing... Sitting.
-You're going hunting?
-What?
-Yeah... All the guys, we're all going huntin'. Like we did. You know? Like we always used to.
-Linda... Honey, what's wrong?
-I don't know.
-I'm just so lonely.
-C'mon. I've got the car.
-You seem... disturbed.
-I... No. You do this for money?
-Mais certainment... A great deal of money. Naturally I do not do it myself. I myself do not possess the nerve. But I am always... how do you say... looking out for those who do... It is a thing quite rare. Champagne perhaps? Tch, tch. Don't say no. When a man says no to champagne, he says no to life and that no man
-Up north.
-Ah yes. Of course... So few survive. La creme de la creme... How did you obtain release?
-Playing.
-Playing?
-We... Three bullets.
-How extremely clever. That is really most extraordinaire... Allow me please to introduce myself. I am Armand... And you are?
-Who the hell is he?
-You can do it, Sal.
-No. No, no.
-Sal... listen to me, Sal! You have to do it.
-I want to go home, Merle.
-You have to think about this, Sal. Listen to me, Sal! You have to think about this.
-This is horrible!
-Listen to me, Sal. If you don't do it they'll put you in the pit. If they put you in the pit, Sal, you're gonna die... Sal, do you understand?
-Merle?
-Where are we going, Merle? Are we going home?
-Sal! Sal... Goddamn it, Sal, don't you know anything?
-Where are we going, Merle? Are we going home?
-Humper's ready. Old humper's hotter'n damn hell!
-Won't we? Right? Am I right?
-You should have put that on last night.
-I know.
-That way it sets.
-I just wait. You know?
-Huh?
-I just wait. For this... It's what I wait for... I wait all year.
-So do I.
-You do?
-You think about it?
-Yeah.
-So do I. I want to be ready... You have to be ready... It has to be there, in your mind.
-The shot?
-Fucking A.
-I don't think about the shot that much.
-You have to think about the shot. It's the shot. The shot's it.
-Yeah... I guess.
-What do you think about?
-I don't know... I guess I think about the deer... Being out, maybe. I don't know. I think about it all. Hell, I like the trees, you know? I like the ways the trees are, all the different ways the trees are too.
-I'll tell you something, Nick. I wouldn't hunt with anyone but you. I won't hunt with a yo-yo.
-Yo-yo! Who's a yo-yo?
-Who's a yo-yo...? Who do you think's a yo-yo! They're all yo yo's. I mean they're all great guys, for Christ's sake, but... The point is, Nick, without you I'd hunt alone. Seriously. I would. That's what I'd do.
-You're a fucking nut. You know that, Merle? You're a fucking maniac!
-Nick, he just came back.
-From Nam?
-What'd he say?
-Pow.
-Pow?
-Pow.
-Is he from here?
-Hell no!
-You think we'll ever come back?
-From Nam?
-I love this fuckin' place... That sounds crazy. I know that sounds crazy, but I love this fuckin' place... If anything happens, Nick, don't leave me there. I mean it. Don't leave me... You gotta promise, Nick. You gotta promise me that.
-Merle --
-Promise! You gotta promise!
-It's ahead, by the tree.
-Hey, Nick?
-Huh?
-Tomorrow I go with Vince.
-Hunt with Vince?
-I'm telling you, Nick, no one's going to come.
-What are you, God?
-Listen, asshole, it's up to us!
-They bombed last night, right? Didn't they bomb? If they bombed last night, they could bomb tonight. They could be up there right now!
-What are you, hoping?
-What else?
-I thought you might be praying.
-I'm doing that too.
-I suppose you wish you were somewhere else?
-What do you think?
-Nick, you're wasting your time... Listen to me! You're wasting your time! This is no fucking time for hoping or praying or wishing or any other shit! This is it. Here we are... And we gotta get out!
-You're right... Okay, you're right.
-Get off your ass, Nick. Get off your fucking ass and stand up!!!
-Okay, okay! Okay. Okay, you're right... What about Sal?
-Forget Sal.
-What do you mean?
-I mean forget Sal... Sal can't take it, Nick.
-Forget Sal?
-Forget Sal... Listen to me -- forget Sal! I've been working on Sal since dawn, Nick. Sal's in a dream and he won't come out. LISTEN!!! From here on you gotta go for you. You hear me? For you!
-Merle...
-We gotta play with more bullets.
-We what?
-We gotta play with more bullets, Nick. It's the only way.
-More bullets in the gun?
-More bullets in the gun... The trouble is that still leaves one of us with his hands tied up, so that means we gotta play each other.
-With more bullets?... Against each other?... Are you crazy!!! Are you fucking nuts!!!
-How many bullets?
-Three bullets -- minimum.
-No way. No fucking way!
-I'll pick the moment, Nick. The game goes on until I move. When I start shooting, go for the nearest guard and get his gun.
-No. No way!
-When you get the AK, open up. You got me? Open up.
-Merle...! Jesus! Hey, how are you?
-Nick!... I thought you went home.
-I did. I... This is stolen. I came back.
-How's Linda?
-Fine. She's fine... Merle, what the hell are you doing?
-I like it, Nick.
-Bullshit! That's bullshit!
-You wanna bet?
-I'll betcha! That's bullshit and I'll betcha! You're fulla shit!
-Here, here! This is it!
-Watch it, shithead!
-Sure I got boots. I got boots right here.
-Then lemme have 'em.
-No.
-No!!!?
-No.
-What do you mean, no???
-That's it. No. No way.
-Some fuckin' friend... You're some fuckin' friend, Merle!
-You're one fuckin' bastard, Merle. You know that? You're one fucking bastard!
-This is this, Vince. This isn't something else. This is this!
-Where's Vince?
-Not tonight?... You're not driving up tonight?
-As soon as you're hitched, Sal. First we get you hitched.
-Don't worry what it says in the book.
-Right.
-Just forget that. Forget what it says in the book.
-I'm gonna start slow... At the top. Then I'm gonna work down.
-Great. That's great.
-See you Monday.
-Sal? Sal, it's me, Nick.
-Nick. Hey. How's things?
-Oh. You know. How's it with you?
-Same. Hey. Same old stuff.
-What's that noise?
-What?
-What's that noise?
-John Wayne... Listen, Nick --
-Great. Hey. That's great.
-Listen, Nick --
-John Wayne's great... Listen, Sal. Jesus. When are you getting out?
-I'm gonna stay here, Nick.
-What?
-Place is great. Really. One great place... Basketball, bowling. You name it. Canasta. Hearts. Lots of guys are making salad bowls. What I'll do is make a salad bowl for you, unless you'd rather have a pencil holder. The pencil holder's neat, I mean --
-Wait a minute. Sal. Hold it. John Wayne's making so much noise I can hardly --
-Sal, we need you. We need you.
-Hey, Nick. How can you need me?
-Sal, you're gonna die! You're gonna sit in that corner watching soaps and you're gonna die!... I'm not saying it's gonna be the same. It's not gonna be the same, but whatever it's gonna be we're all gonna do it, Sal. God damn it we are! We are gonna do it!
-Nick. I'm so scared. I'm so fuckin' scared to go home.
-Did you go hunting.
-Yeah.
-Did you get one?
-No.
-You didn't get a deer?
-I tracked this one, a big buck. God, he was such a beauty--! What's this suitcase here?
-Where?
-Maybe you could use socks, Nick. Jesus, I mean, come to think of it socks are pretty expensive now.
-It's Merle, Sal.
-Merle? ... Merle's alive? How do you know?
-I saw him last night. I thought I was dreaming. I thought I was out of my mind.
-Merle gave me this?
-Yeah.
-Oh cards, maybe. Poker... It's getting cold, Sal. I'm going to take you in. We'll call Angela. The guys can help her bring you home... Did I tell you I was going on a trip?
-Trip? What do you mean, Nick? You said you'd be --
-It's okay. Hey, it's okay! Just a week. Just to see Phantom Mary.
-Phantom Mary?
-Didn't I ever tell you about Phantom Mary?
-No.
-Well... Phantom Mary's on my mother's side. Naturally no one there admits it because Phantom Mary's pretty weird... You want to hear the whole story?
-Yeah!
-He's getting married... and we're nuts!
-How're you guys... I mean, how've you guys been?
-Well, who'd you get married to?
-Cynthia! Sure.
-That's who.
-What the hell's that for?
-How's it feel, huh? How's it feel to be back?
-Great. Feels great... Fuckin' A!
-I mean, I guess you still think about Nam. Right? I mean --
-Naw. Uh-huh.
-Hey, Nick, you ever do it with one of those slants?
-No.
-No!
-Never one.
-Oh, Jesus! You're kiddin'!
-One, Vince... you have to understand, doing it with one... would be... like nothing. They're small, see, so if you're smart you get about six or eight. I mean, if you want to have any fun.
-Six or eight. And they go wild?
-You're full of shit!
-Yeah.
-And I believed you! I oughta punch you out! I oughta...! Hey. Hey, let's go huntin'! Albert! Hey, Albert! Let's go huntin'. What do you say? Nick? What do you say?
-Just like always! Just like it always was! Right, Nick? Am I right?
-What the hell was that! What did you think? Did you think it was loaded!
-You loaded it, Vince! I saw you!
-The fuck I did!!!
-Quiet!... Quiet!!!... Awright, everybody, Nick has a few words.
-Up I would say... What would you say?
-Up.
-Down I would say... What would you say?
-Down.
-Up a little there... What would you say?
-Looks like ya gonna take office just in time, Chief. Things need straightening up in this city.
-What'cha got, Bennett?
-Witnesses say some wacko went Judge hunting with a late model. I got an artist working on a computer composite now.
-Technothugs?
-No chance. Not their sector. They ain't even into things this big. Our zone-boy's performing out of a horror show. Something else. Unit nine found a couple cold ones in Hollywood. One Manny Turner. Gun runner. Sounds like a connection to me.
-That's him. Simon Doucet.
-Jesus. Sweet Jesus. We've got trouble.
-This monster escaped from Cryo- Prison this morning.
-Well, he's sure working fast ain't he?
-Yeah?
-Talk fast. Polls open in half an hour.
-Michael called yesterday. He wants to take Willy for the summer.
-What did you say?
-Mr. Murphy asked about you again at work yesterday.
-He just wants me to make him cinnamon cookies like I made for you.
-I think he wants more than your cookies.
-Kimberly!
-Who is it?
-My man Dubbs.
-I want to ask you a few questions.
-Funny guy.
-Fuck you - fuck you.
-You helped set up my partner, Sergeant William Wade. I want to know who put you up to it.
-Speak up.
-I worked for him... still do. Said he'd make sure I was left alone if I helped put Wade away. He kept his promise for twenty years.
-It was Wade's old partner... Gallagher. He was behind it all.
-Looks like you did more than jackoff while I was gone.
-Maybe re-animating you wasn't such a bright idea. You look like shit.
-Twenty years have passed, Wade. Lay it to rest.
-I was set up and you know it... but you swore under oath I was dirty. You helped bury me.
-I'm not on the force anymore.
-Well, you've just been taken off the bench.
-I want to see my wife and kid.
-Later. I want Doucet first.
-I told you. I'm out of the cops and robbers business. Retired twenty years ago. I've been trained as a bus driver. Got a whole route planned and everything. Even nailed down the lingo - '<u>Exact change, please</u>'.
-What's this?
-Mug sheets.
-Edicon system made these. Ages, photographs. We use it to find missing children.
-He's not that old yet. You've lost confidence in me.
-You son-of-a-bitch. How do you stop it?
-We have an antidote that'll retard the aging process.
-Give it to me.
-The faster you get Doucet, the younger you'll be.
-You're working a partner on this.
-Hello Wade.
-Tell Frick and Frack that means them too.
-You can't kill me. I'm going to be Mayor tomorrow.
-I'm not voting for you.
-I want to stop aging.
-This is a war, Wade. You against him. Vengeance time. The City's just in the way. Kill the fucker. You and me. We'll work things out when the time is right.
-Remember my promise.
-Don't threaten me. I tend to take these things seriously. And get a couple hours sleep. You look like day old shit.
-Just got the call. Took him from school. Bastard nailed the Vice- Principal and a teacher.
-I'm wasting time.
-You can't win like this. You'll only get older. This is what you wanted!
-What is it? I'm about to go on.
-We have to talk.
-I heard about today. Good job. I'm all for capital punishment. Why don't you go home and see your family?
-That wasn't your plan, was it?
-You were planning to send me back to the ice house. You set me up.
-You're crazy.
-I don't want to hear anymore.
-That's not your zone. Stick to data entry.
-Wade's in Cryo-Prison.
-Kill him... kill him.
-Doucet's just offed two of the jurors who put him away. I'm rounding up the rest of them and putting them in police custody. What's your status?
-We seem to've come across a 211, sir.
-You two fucks listen up. Doucet's killing people and you're wasting valuable time busting two-bit Technothugs.
-But sir, Sergeant Wade saved the hostages.
-Sir, your transmission's fading.
-You have no evidence. Arrest this man.
-What do you mean he's escaped?! They're not supposed to escape!
-It's a real mess down here. Some- thing must a'gone wrong. No man could possess that kind of strength after being frozen for twenty years.
-Tell Doucet that. What was his rehabilitation training?
-Just great.
-NPA syndrome will hit 'im fast. Have your men gear up the Edicon system at a twenty-year ratio in fractions of fives. Saying a prayer won't be bad either.
-Sir, your dinner with the union leaders begins in an hour. Your wife will meet you there, so we can leave whenever you're ready.
-Fine.
-Sir, your limo's here.
-You okay?
-How do I look?
-Okay, that's all folks. Commissioner Gallagher has to go.
-Sir---
-Need help?
-I got it. I got it.
-You sure? I can help you.
-Ah Mom, you're embarrass'n me.
-Nobody's looking.
-Maybe I should put on the training whe---
-Not the 'T' word.
-You my partner?
-Officer Hector Sanchez, Sergeant. Hillside Academy. Status G-8. Security Clearance 3. One year Advance Technical Crime Analyst. Weapons Assistant. FDA Junior Captain, Hollywood division---
-Are you a cop?
-Yes.
-I drive.
-Commissioner Gallagher gave me specific orders not to let you drive until you re-familiarize yourself with the process and territory.
-I'm ready.
-But Sergeant...
-Does it drive itself, too?
-You have to use the steering wheel to turn. The pedal for gas...
-Got it. Ejection seat?
-Whoa. Don't touch that. <u>Pursuit</u> <u>Mode</u>. Auto pilot. Computerized steering and driving system used in high speed pursuits. Installed Fall 2006. Underground rumor has it they modeled it after you, sir.
-I have to go home, Sanchez.
-No offense, but why'd they partner me with a rookie?
-See those guys?
-They're going to rob that bank.
-How do you know?
-I'll inform dispatch.
-There's no time. There are civilians in there. It's about to go down.
-We don't know that for sure. We'll have to wait until they move.
-You can't turn him off. He's the Commissioner.
-Wanna come?
-Thanks. Want'a bite? McDonald's vegiroll.
-Can I ask you something?
-Yes.
-Then what goes on in there? What I mean is, what are you thinking about?
-Bacon cheeseburgers.
-Give me a break. I'm serious. What's it like to be dead?
-Hey, buddy...
-NPA metamorphosis should biologically slow him down. That's when we'll get him.
-You can't catch this man with a computer.
-How then?
-Sir, I took the liberty of running a GCI scenario on a TM-1 earlier today...
-GCI. TM-1. What language are you talking?
-I also PVC'd you. Youngest Officer promoted to Sergeant. Two CMs. Four honor medals...
-Why?
-You're saying you were put away for a crime you didn't commit?
-'Bout the same time I busted Doucet I tried to nail this big-time dealer. I didn't have an ID, but I was close. Too close. Gained the confidence of a badass named Dubbs. He was going to turn me onto the big man. He made me for a cop. Mysteriously my fellow officers discovered ten pounds of heroin in my cruiser.
-It doesn't make sense. Who would want to do that to you?
-Married?
-Engaged. Plan on doing it this summer. You still married?
-What's this place?
-Yeah.
-She's pretty.
-You need anything else?
-I'll be okay.
-Good night, Wade.
-I'll have a cup of coffee?
-No. Talk English. Then I'll understand.
-We get to peek into Doucet's brain.
-Hey, I'm eating.
-I'm serious, Wade. This case is important to me.
-You want to be a good detective?
-Yes, sir.
-Two lousy smokes. You're a real sport.
-Maybe I should turn myself in.
-Part of Doucet's cerebellum, a portion called the vermis is under- developed. This area rates response to outside stimuli. Com- pare it to that of a normal law- abiding citizen. It could be why he kills.
-Great. My partner's Marcus Welby.
-I'm just doing it by the book. Analyze then vaporize. Crime's a science. Everything's analyzed.
-With all this technology you don't even have to show up for work. Who needs cops when you've got gizmos.
-Wanna try?
-No thank you, sir. Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy.
-You're not pregnant, are you?
-Let's roll. We got a guy who swears his car was stolen by a suspect identical to Doucet. 0800 this morning.
-What else did he get?
-Wallet, cash, I.D...
-Kid, you ever been in a high speed chase before?
-Get us some fuck'n back-up now!
-Rip Van Winkle.
-How ya feeling?
-How do I look?
-What's this?
-Sanchez...?
-I'm here.
-You treat her nice.
-...What are you talking about...?
-Your girl. Being a cop will be rough on her.
-...Have you been drinking?
-Yeah.
-This should make your day. The guy who testified against you... Dubbs... was arrested a total number of twenty- four times.
-So, he's got a thing for prison clothes.
-You okay?
-Aaah... Mother of Jesus.
-What is it? Your legs? Hands?
-What are you doing this for, Sanchez?
-I just heard.
-He's got my grandson, Sanchez.
-You be careful.
-No. I want to be with you.
-You should be in hospital.
-Jesus, Sanchez... what do you think you're doin'? That's flatfoot data. You're not supposed to have access to that.
-This is the guy that killed my partner.
-You startin' a fan club or some- thin'?
-Demolition Man.
-What's it mean?
-You never want to find out.
-He had a partner. Our own Ray Gallagher. He tagged Wade dangerously defiant. Psychotic. Reckless. Seems our Commissioner didn't like him much. Busted his buns on a narcotic's violation. Wade was sentenced to twenty-five years.
-He went dirty and they made an example of him.
-But he was such a good cop.
-They always are.
-You all right?
-Yeah.
-Seat's too high.
-Yes.
-I'm going to be a policeman.
-What's your name?
-William Simpson. I like Willy.
-Bye. Thanks.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Funny. Would you like to buy me a drink?
-This little thing says I can't.
-You could always take it off.
-Papers. Last Medcheck two weeks ago. A-1. Disease free. Guaranteed by the State.
-Belle Dee. I'm from over the mountain.
-I'll take it.
-Let's dance together -- Belle.
-Golly, Belle, that was a good idea -- we should do that every morning.
-We'll cook 'em ourselves. You'll help me, Belle.
-The people, Jabez -- the people.
-Hey, you! Watch out there -- you're scuffing my Brussels carpet -- Consarn them.
-Jabez! Careful --
-What are those people doing there? What do they want?
-Who are these people?
-Jabez -- ?
-You're not resting well, are you? I know -- it's that music. You need your sleep. Is there anything else you want?
-No, thank you -- what's your name?
-Belle --
-That's my business. -- Now, it's all right, Daniel. What did he do?
-I see why you're here -- you knew that nobody was coming.
-I didn't.
-You're lying.
-Lying to you -- Why should I?
-You know that you're in my house.
-I know -- and you could show me the door. You would, too, if you weren't still hoping the guests might arrive.
-You think you're so smart, Mrs. Stone. You wanted to be near Jabez. It looked like your big chance tonight, but you're wrong, you can't win him back -- not that way.
-Hello, Colonel! Want a lift?
-Well, I wouldn't mind. But my name's Daniel Stone.
-Gee -- that Fair --
-It hasn't opened yet?
-No -- but I can hardly wait -- Mister -- tell me, will there really be -- -- a man that eats fire?
-Guess there will, if it says so.
-And two unpara-- unparalleled Cir-cass-ian beauties? What is that?
-Young man -- you got me there.
-'N Daniel Webster will be there.
-A varied list of attractions. And which would you like to see first, Dan'l?
-I think I'd like to begin with the fire-eater --
-And what about Daniel Webster?
-Well, I thought he'd come in the middle.
-Daniel! Don't ever let me catch you doing that again!
-Why? It don't hurt.
-Make them go faster, Mr.... ?
-No, Daniel -- they are not race horses. They are good old friends of mine. I call 'em Constitution and Bill of Rights, the most dependable pair for long journeys. I've got one called Missouri Compromise, too, and then there's a Supreme Court -- fine, dignified horse, though you do have to push him now and then.
-Golly -- I'd like to see all your horses!
-Maybe you can, sometime, Daniel. I'm a farmer, you know, and like to show my farm -- but the thing I'd like to show you most, you'll have to see for yourself.
-What's that, sir?
-Well -- it's high and it's wide and it goes a long way and there is a wind blowing through it and a blue roof over it -- it's the hills up here and the rivers running south and the new States growing in the West.
-Anybody can see that.
-You're wrong, Mr. Stone. There are people who live and die without e'er seeing it. They can't see the country for the money in their pockets -- And some think their state's the country, or the way they live is the country, and they're willing to split the country because of that. Well, I hope you'll meet all those, when you're grown. You'll meet
-But it didn't stop. I know it didn't stop. Granny told me it didn't.
-Yes, you did, Daniel! I saw it from the window. And then to lie about it! Give me that beanshooter, Daniel!
-It's mine, Ma! Pa made it for me -- and I'm not going to give it to anyone!
-Daniel give me that beanshooter!
-No! No! I won't.
-Daniel, you ought to be in bed.
-Mama!
-Daniel! ... You must go to sleep.
-I don't want to be up there all alone, Mama.... I want to be with you.
-Granny, when do we move to the new house?
-Move? -- We are not going to move -- the old one is good enough for us.
-But I like the new one better.
-Lan's to goodness, what happened to that hen? Did you use that beanshooter again?
-Grandma, look at me!
-I see you! Riding pretty high, ain't you? Look out you don't fall off.
-Howdy, Jabez.
-Howdy, Hank.
-Kin you spare a moment for me Jabez?
-Why, of course, Hank -- I've always got time for a neighbor. What's on your mind?
-Well -- here's how it is ...Tom Sharp, Eli Higgins and a couple of others been talking to me about -- that new sort of organization -- grange they call it. What you think about it?
-I don't know -- don't seem much of an idea to me.
-Yes, but what does a farmer do if he don't want to get roped in some more by them loan sharks?
-Oh -- you don't have to go to Miser Stevens while I'm around.
-Don't I? ... Say, that's mighty white of you, Jabez.
-Not at all, Hank ... not at all. Glad to help you.
-Say ... about the interest ...
-Loan shark -- hey?
-Too bad it didn't happen to Miser Stevens.
-Are you one of old Stevens' customers too?
-Sure am.
-Sure does. But I'll have to sleep on it a couple of nights.
-I am just thinkin' -- now they mightn't like the idea down in Washington.
-Why not! There's a bill up in Congress to give us a uniform law of bankruptcy. Daniel Webster is fighting for it right now--
-What do you want?
-Howdy, Mr. Stone. We've come round to ask you if you made up your mind to join the Grange?
-What Grange?
-Well -- we don't mean to force you, Jabez Stone -- but -- it's only for your own good.
-Jabez -- will you join our Grange now?
-Why, thank you, Tom. I was going to ask you if you thought I could.
-You're not -- Dorothy.
-No. She's gone.
-She couldn't be gone!
-Never mind. What's your name?
-Belle.
-Stevens!
-Well, Stone -- have you got the money?
-I barely managed to scrape up a bit for you. I thought if I made a kind of part payment --
-No, Stone!
--- in gold.
-I'd like to know where you'd get it....
-You know -- some folks are just lucky. Others pick gold right out of the air. Like that!
-Real! Sheriff, you are a witness that this money is paid me voluntarily, and while it does not satisfy the mortgage, it has become my property.
-Mornin', Jabez ...
-Hello, Stevens ... you're early today.
-Yes, I wanted to get here before the others.... I want to talk to you alone.
-Good evening -- I'm sorry, Jabez -- I'm a little late.
-No, you're not.
-Where's everybody?
-Now run along, Daniel.
-What a fine boy you have, Jabez. How old is he now?
-Almost seven. No -- no, he's not seven yet I am sure --
-What's the matter with you?
-You are afraid!
-Afraid ... of what?
--- of what happens after we die!
-Are you plumb crazy, man! What do you think happens? We're buried -- that's all.
-But what becomes of our souls?
-Why do you fret about something that isn't there?
-Don't say that -- I know it is --
-All right -- so it's buried with you!
-What if one hasn't a soul any more? What of that?
-Huh? -- What's that? Well -- what about it? Who cares, anyhow?
-I do -- and I think you should too.
-Do you deny that you called me? I've known people in other States who went back on their word. But I didn't expect it in New Hampshire.
-You can't say that to me! I'm New Hampshire. If I say I called you, I did. I guess I did.
-You've had a lot of bad luck these days. And yet -- it's all so unnecessary. When I think of your opportunities --
-Opportunities?
-Of course. Why man, you have one of the richest farms in the county. You just go about it the wrong way -- so many men do. Hard work -- well, that's all right for people who don't know how to do anything else. It's all right for people who aren't lucky -- but once you're lucky -- you don't work for other people.
-Well, now, Mister, that sounds all right. But--
-Where did it come from?
-Oh, you know the old story -- the Hessian wagon train that was ambushed on the way to Saratoga. Some of the gold has been buried under your barn!
-Yes, why shouldn't it?
-It's mine?
-That's right, Mr. Stone -- there is -- -- just one little formality. I'd like your signature here -- see. And when it's done -- it's done for seven years. It's our usual form. Of course -- we may be able to take up the question of a renewal in due time.
-What does it mean here -- about my soul?
-No, no! Give it to me!
-Excellent. A firm, fair signature. One that will last till doomsday. My dear Neighbor Stone, I congratulate you! You're going to be the richest man in New Hampshire!
-Well, I'll be --
-Yes, indeed. But not now. Not for seven years. Oh, I almost forgot -- what is the date?
-The seventh day of April --
-Good evening, Neighbor Stone.
-Look here now--
-Oh come, Neighbor Stone. I wouldn't cut that tree if I were you. It means a breach of contract.
-I don't care.
-But you should, now that you are becoming a father.
-Leave your tongue off of that!
-Why, Mr. Stone, you look so worried. Can I be of any service?
-You promised me prosperity, happiness, love, money, friendship --
-.... Miser Stevens' soul, Mr. Stone. Yes -- I am sorry for the disturbance.
-He ain't dead -- he's dancing in there.
-Are they all as -- small -- as that?
-Small? Oh, I see what you mean. Why, they vary. Now a man like Daniel Webster, if I ever get hold of him, I'd have to build a special box for him and even at that, I imagine, the wing spread would be astonishing. In your case --
-Trying to break our contract again, Mr. Stone?
-I'm through with you.
-What a headstrong fellow! Well -- I guess you're quite prepared to suffer the consequences.
-I have still a year -- a year to make up for everything.
-Oh no, you violated clause five of our contract and I could collect right now, if I chose.
-Not now! Not now! -- Let me make up -- let me make up.
-Suddenly you seem quite desperate, Mr. Stone -- -- You know I'm a good-natured man. I'm always open to reason. With a little security -- I might--
-Anything -- anything. -- You can have it all back -- that money -- the new house -- my farm -- the whole caboodle!
-I'm afraid that's hardly the sort of security I was thinking of -- You see -- there is that promising little fellow, your son ...
-No! No! No! Not him -- not my son -- I'd rather go with you -- right now.
-Well now, Mr. Stone, did you make up your mind?
-About what?
-Are you willing to give me your son in exchange for an extension of our contract?
-Jabez Stone -- did you or did you not sign this document?
-Yes, I did -- but you tricked me into signing it! You told me my soul was nothing ... that I could forget all about a soul, in exchange for money. That was a lie, a lie, a lie.
-Yes -- yes, I am the richest man -- too rich. I can't think of anything but money. That's the trouble with me.
-But, Mr. Stone, I am hardly to blame for the pricking of your wholly unnecessary conscience. Is this your signature?
-You know darn well it is.
-Ten throws -- Mr. Webster?
-You win. Will you ride to the village with me, Mr. Stone?
-I don't seem to be so very popular after all -- in Cross Corners.
-Seems like it's my fault, Mr. Webster.
-Here's a man who knows what's good for Dan'l Webster! Medford rum! Ah, a breath of the Promised Land! To the champion of the Iron Horseshoe, Jabez Stone!
-Eloquent speech, Neighbor Stone -- couldn't have done better myself -- -- under the circumstances. Thank you.
-Mr. Webster -- I'd like you to meet my wife, Mary.
-Well -- Mr. Webster! This is a great day for me. Come on in, sir. I want you to take the seat of honor and meet all my guests!
-That's just fine, Neighbor Stone -- but -- I have to be pretty careful of my seats of honor -- where I sit, I mean. You see, the whole country sort of has its eye on me, Jabez -- anybody in public life has that difficulty -- even you, Jabez. They watch us carefully, our neighbors and our enemies, and they see much more
-What -- what's on your mind?
-You, Jabez Stone -- you and a lot of poor farmers, hereabouts -- good men of the earth who are in trouble because of you. Or -- am I wrong about those contracts, Mr. Stone?
-Contracts? -- Yes, they have contracts with me -- lots of 'em -- but -- but that's all right. Without me and my money, they wouldn't have anything.
-I'm sorry you can't see that, I know you could once -- you made a little speech once, that I'll always remember and I know the others do too -- They remember and they see how you have changed. That's why they didn't want to come tonight to you, Jabez -- you're as blind as a Burma bat, with your gold pot! Mind you,
-I -- I don't know what you're talking about! I -- I haven't time to listen to all this --
-No -- you haven't time -- You haven't time for your mother, or your wife, or your child.
-It's here you said that you closed the deal with him?
-Yes, Mr. Webster -- it was here where it all began.
-I see. And this is where he'd like to collect, too.
-They make plucky women in New England. H'm ... how long have we to wait?
-Not long -- now.
-There's nothing like it. I saw an inchworm take a drop of it once, and he stood right up on his hind legs and bit a bee. Come -- try a nip!
-There's no joy in it for me.
-You were worried, Jabez, weren't you?
-Well, I --
-Ma says breakfast's ready, Mr. Webster!
-Coming along, Jabez?
-Why -- good morning, Squire.
-Ahem -- we want to have a little confidential talk with you, Neighbor Stone. Don't like to take a man away from his planting -- but sometimes --
-Mighty good of you to come out, Squire -- sparing all this time to -- Sheriff, too -- and Schoolmaster -- mighty nice.
-Oh!
-Headache -- Squire?
-Worst I had in years -- ahem -- starting a spring cold, I guess -- er -- don't happen to have a bit of camomile tea in the house, do you, Stone?
-And so, Jabez Stone, in the name of the Whig Party of Cross Corners, we offer you the nomination of that party for Selectman.
-But -- I was just lucky.
-Howdy, Squire! Howdy! Oh -- how do you do, Squire.
-How do you do, Belle? How are you, Jabez? Well -- mighty elegant house you got here.
-Well, Jabez -- I'm a little pressed for time. You wanted to discuss something -- some business --
-Oh yes -- yes. Won't take a minute. Can you keep a secret?
-Why of course --
-Dan'l Webster is coming to my party.
-Dan'l Webster?
-Yes -- and that's the reason I wanted to talk with you. You got my invitation?
-Yes.
-Now look -- here's a list of the people I invited -- they're all the right kind of people -- or did I miss anybody?
-The only one you missed -- is the President.
-You keep that -- that's for you. I want you to talk up the party to make sure that the best folks really come.
-You want me to go around --
-Yes siree -- that's the idea. Get them all here and then say: "Look, folks -- here's Daniel Webster, my guest of honor." Golly, I can see their eyes pop already.
-You mean that's all you had me come out here for?
-Now, Squire, you're not going to let me down. We still want to do a lot of business together, don't we?
-Well -- yes --
-That's fine. Now you can tell people all about the house, but don't mention Webster.
-You are not so sure that he'll come.
-Oh yes -- I am -- want to bet?
-Why not -- ?
-How much?
-5000 -- that's just what I owe you.
-Jabez -- help!
-Down, Shep! Down!
-He only wants you to throw the stick for him, Jabez. I guess he's feeling the spring a-coming, too.
-What is that smile on your face? Is there anything wrong with me?
-Now, Jabez! I've got on my Sunday bonnet and I'm going to church with my husband. Almost the first time since the beginning of winter -- and if that isn't an occasion, I don't know what is.
-I think his leg is broken.
-Oh, Jabez.
-I remember Dad used to say sometimes, when they were handing out hard luck, the farmers got there first.
-Jabez, don't you remember your own wedding? We said it's for better or worse. We said it's for richer or poorer.
-He's stubborn as a Stone.
-Well, I'll be -- there's a rig, turning in, by the gate.
-Who is it?
-" ... and if the final vote shall leave thousands of our fellow citizens and their families in hopeless distress, can we -- members of the Government -- go to our beds with a clear conscience, can we, without self- reproach, supplicate the Almighty Mercy to forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors?
-That's wonderful language. It would move a stone.
-Well -- what are we going to do?
-We can still use my butter money.
-Your butter money?
-Do you think I'm grudging it?
-Mary -- it's gone.
-Not all of it?
-Yes -- I had to pay the vet in full. He just wouldn't have treated the horse this time. After all, we can't very well do without a horse.
-It's all right, Jabez. We'll find something to pay Stevens.
-If the pig hadn't broke his leg, we could have taken him.
-Jabez! Couldn't you take a sack of seed instead?
-To save us work on the spring plowing?
-You always said, the field uphill needs a rest, but if you think --
-Mary, I'm a farmer -- always will be. To me seed isn't a thing to pay debts with, it's alive, more alive than anything -- but I guess you're right. We just got to do it. Oh -- how's it all going to end?
-Jabez -- you ought to talk to Tom about joining the Grange.
-Jabez!
-Seed alone won't do, Mary. We have to throw the calf in.
-Oh Jabez! And we were counting on ... It's a lovely calf.
-Mary--
-Jabez ...
-I'll get the doctor.
-Mary -- what would you do with a pot o' gold?
-Jabez!
-Mary -- what would you do?
-Well -- I -- I don't know -- I would pay our debts and well -- maybe get a new bonnet, but -- really -- I think I would live the same.
-It feels fine now, Jabez.
-Will you come into town with me tomorrow?
-What do you think of that, Jabez?
-We must go on home, Jabez.
-Remember, Mary, how he said it: "Couldn't have done better myself, Jabez Stone," and it was my first speech. I don't know what came into me, Mary. I just stood up and the words came flowing like water out of my mouth.
-But I'm glad to be home again --
-Tired?
-Worried!
-There is nothing to worry about now.
-You'll never change -- will you?
-There's hope and promise in it, Jabez -- Planting and promise of good harvest to come.
-Yes -- you are right, Mary. I can almost hear the little blades of grass a-starting up -- All the seeds a-stirring underneath the ground --
-Mary --
-Mary, get three cups of camomile tea for the Squire and the rest. They all feel colds coming on.
-I'll get it, Jabez.
-Mary! I'm -- Selectman of Cross Corners!
-You could have knocked me down with a feather -- Selectman -- me.
-I'll never get my washing done.
-That's one thing I want to talk to you about, Mary.
-Yes, Mr. Selectman!
-I'm serious.
-It's very becoming to you, Mr. Selectman.
-But it's not very becoming to you to have your hands in the suds -- when the Squire and his wife --
-But Jabez -- the washing has to be done --
-Well -- that's the last time -- we'll have servants to do it.
-No, no. I don't want to be idle.
-Jabez -- once you said we'd never change --
-Ruined -- all the fields -- ruined.
-Mary --
-Well -- I -- I-
-Potato bug sits on the leaf in the sun, Sleep, sleep, my baby -- Raccoon sits in the spruce all night, Sleep, baby, sleep --
-What in sugar hill's the matter with him?
-What happened.... Where are you taking him?
-I am going to lock him up.
-Jabez -- how can you let her talk like that when the boy is present? He won't respect me any more.
-Isn't that your own fault?
-My fault? ... Oh, Jabez -- all I want is to be proud of him. He can be such a fine boy, if we show him how to be.
-He's my son and I like him the way he is. Why do you always have to pick on him? If it's not the boy it's me. You don't like the way I live -- you don't like my friends, or my new house -- or anything.
-But Jabez, I never said that!
-It shows on your face.
-Well -- I am worried about the way you've changed. That was one thing you said you'd never do -- remember?
-Why don't they come --
-Think this room is larger than anything Webster's got at Marshfield? You've been there. What about it, Mary?
-It's -- different, Jabez -- that's all.
-Mr. Webster ... Wait! ... Mary!
-Jabez!
-Mary! Come back ...
-You must go now, Mary -- you must!
-Jabez -- Jabez!
-"There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God and eschewed evil."
-Consarn the consarn --
-Jabez! What kind of talk is that for the Sabbath? And me a-reading the holy word!
-You know that, son.
-Hard luck -- like me.
-Now, Jabez Stone -- as for what you're calling hard luck -- well, we made New England out of it. That and codfish.
-There! Guess that ought to hold good. Put him down here, by the fire, Mary. But we don't want to get him too close -- we'll have roast pork for supper.
-How'd you know to have the calf ready, Ma?
-I just figgered -- knew you didn't have enough bills.
-Yes -- and you figgered right, consarn it!
-That's a word you're too free with lately, Jabez, consarn this and consarn that ...
-Helps sometimes to say it.
-What's ailing that dog?
-I dunno.
-Well ... make him keep quiet.
-And why should I? Let him howl if it makes him feel good. Consarn it. He's better off than I am! I wish I could tell Him... ... up there, just what I think.
-Hush up such talk, Jabez!
-You found it in the barn, hey?
-Yes -- I was getting the seed -- I stumbled -- I saw one of the boards warped up a bit -- and -- there it was.
-Most outlandish thing I ever heard tell. Don't seem right, somehow!
-Well -- that's comforting! Supper.
-Well, son, I'm glad to see a Stone come up in the world again.
-It won't be the first baby ever born in this house. There! Made me drop a stitch! Sit down, you make me nervous! Lan's, that's the way a man always is. Thinks his son's the most important thing in the world.
-My son! Do you really think, Ma....
-Queer sort of weather we're having -- queer like everything else.
-Well, thank the Lord you can always depend on New England for weather. We've got enough for the whole United States.
-I feel -- fidgety, Ma -- not right at all.
-Lan's, I'd think you was having the baby, to hear you.
-Money -- money's a funny thing, ain't it, Ma?
-I figure that depends a mite on how you get it and how you spend it, Son.
-Do you really think that?
-Why, that's just sense, Son. Now a man like Daniel Webster -- guess they pay him high for what he does. But he's worth it -- and he helps others. Makes all the difference.
-I know, Ma, but -- Suppose a man got his money in bad ways --
-You see, son? I'm old and I've lived. When a man gets his money in bad ways -- when he sees the better course and takes the worse -- then the devil is in his heart -- and that fixes him.
-Ma -- and yet, a man could change that, couldn't he?
-Oh, here you are, Jabez. Lan's, I was worried about you.... Hail in August! The crops will be ruined!
-It don't matter!
-What's that you say, Son?
-I say -- it don't matter.
-Now that's the way to talk, Son! I know you worked hard for that crop. But we'll make out.
-Ma -- is she? --
-You'll be a father any minute now.
-Golly, Ma -- Consarn that music! Shouldn't a-had the harvest festival tonight.
-You go down and see what's keeping Dorothy.
-I want you to fix these fish!
-My son ... what's the matter?
-Ma! ... Where's Mary ... and little Dan'l?
-Ma -- Ma -- it's all right, Ma!
-Yep -- you can't get around that mortgage. -- I'm sorry, Jabez.
-It's all right, Sheriff.
-Wish I could really do something for you. But you know Stevens. He'll throw you off your farm tomorrow if you don't pay him tonight.
-Let him try it.
-Hello, Sheriff.
-Hello, Jabez -- I was just talking to Stevens about a little extension on your payment.
-It seems such an obvious candidature to us all.
-Come in, Sheriff.
-Jabez -- seems like I've been hearing talk around. Reverend Harper thinks more Cross Corners folk oughter be in church, Sabbath morning.
-You throw mighty far, Jabez -- almost into the pigsty.
-Mary -- Jabez --
-Well, I guess we won't be going to church today.
-That is -- if you don't mind changing the lesson, Ma.
-Let her be, son. She'll do all right. You better get yourself straightened out.
-I'll try hard -- I just can't take it all in.
-You know, Ma, why the Squire came to see Jabez?
-What a nice -- and kind girl -- Who is she --?
-The new girl -- Jabez says; she is from over the mountain.
-Mary! Ready? First bell's a-ringing!
-She'll do nothing of the kind! She's going to church with me, right away!
-Fox hunting -- a Stone going fox hunting on a week day -- and the earth crying out for the touch of him!
-Now, Ma -- You just try to set an example for me, and keep hold of yourself.
-Me? Why, look here, Mary Stone -- I'm worried about you, that's all.
-Worried about me! Well, you just stop it!
-What's that?
-So you've made up your mind to go to the party.
-You aren't angry with me?
-Be sure to let me know if Daniel is over there.
-What are you looking for, Colonel? What's your name?
-Martin Van Buren Aldrich and my Pa's the only Democrat in Cross Corners. He said you had horns and a tall, Mr. Webster, but I ain't seen 'em yet.
-Well, Martin, I only wear them in Washington -- that's the trouble. But if you ever come down there, I'll show them to you.
-Gee, would you, Mr. Webster? Honest?
-Of course. And you tell your father for me -- we may be on opposite sides of the fence, but I'm always glad to hear of a man who holds to his own opinions. As long as people do that -- the country's all right. Do you understand, Martin?
-It is.
-You've got a smart man, Mrs. Stone. Hang onto him.
-Well Mary, it's too bad I didn't know -- I would have given you a real dinner, but with my wife being in Washington -- Have another piece of pie --
-No, really, thank you. -- Is Mrs. Webster coming back soon?
-Well -- she hardly ever comes here -- she's not the type of woman who cares to live in the country. Yes -- I'm all on my own -- sometimes it makes you feel a little lonely -- Do you mind if I indulge?
-Of course not --
-No, you wouldn't -- You're not the sort of woman that's afraid of smoke -- or fire -- But now let's talk about your affairs.
-Goodness, Mr. Webster, I've done nothing but talk about that all through dinner.
-Yes, you've chatted a lot, woman-like nibbling around the edge -- But, Mary, forgive an old lawyer's legal mind, I don't think you ever once came to the point. And there is a point, isn't there?
-Why -- yes -- it's hard to put it into words, Mr. Webster. There's this matter of little Daniel's schooling and the new house -- and well -- there's something else that's wrong -- it gets worse, year after year -- it's like a shadow growing -- I can't really talk about it, even to Ma -- she puts it all on Jabez and
-I've heard some odd things about Jabez lately -- he seems to make the wrong kind of name for himself.
-Mr. Webster, you mustn't believe all that people say.
-You don't have to defend him to me, Mary -- I've been called names myself.
-You see, I don't care if we are rich or poor -- I don't care if we're big or small, all I care about is Jabez. He was the first man I loved. He never used to care about money -- we were poor as Job's turkey, but none of us minded. Now I've seen him drive the poor from the door, and we
-Mary -- you've talked to me as you might have talked to your father and I believe he wants me to help you a little. You see, sometimes we think we're licked in this life -- but we weren't put here to be licked. Don't you believe it. Sometimes the shadows seem to get hold of us -- the shadows and the evil --
-Oh, could you, Mr. Webster ?
-Oh -- Mr. Webster -- I'm so glad you came!
-Jabez ...
-Mary -- what love and trust could do for your husband, you've done. And frankly, in a very few moments, this is going to be no place for a lady.
-Mr. Webster -- you will help him?
-There is nothing like a good old country breakfast. Where's Ma?
-Hey there, Dan'l! Black Dan'l!
-Hullooo!
-Someone to see you, Dan'l!
-If it's the British Minister, take him around to the pantry and give him some Madeira --
-Just someone from New Hampshire!
-It's only a short drive, Mr. Webster.
-Oh -- it's you again. What do you want?
-With the presidential election coming up, I thought I could be of some help, sir.
-I'd rather see you on the side of the opposition.
-Say, that's pretty good, young man.
-Mr. Webster, I presume?
-Attorney of record for Jabez Stone. Might I ask your name?
-Why, certainly -- but be careful, Mr. Scratch -- Medford rum has an uncanny habit of kicking back, even with old-timers like yourself.
-It even kicked back -- once at you, didn't it?
-Me?
-Oh .. not that you ever get drunk! No, indeed! But a kind of overpowering lassitude or, more plainly, a deep and enveloping sleep.
-There isn't enough Medford rum in the whole of New Hampshire to make me sleepy.
-Talk has never proved that question, Mr. Webster! Cup for cup -- what do you say?
-Your spirited efforts on behalf of your clients do you credit, Mr. Webster -- If you have no more arguments to adduce I'll take him along now.
-Not so fast, Mr. Scratch. Produce your evidence -- if you have it.
-There, Mr. Webster. All open and above-board and in due and legal form.
-H'm. This appears -- I say appears -- to be properly drawn. But you shall not have this man! A man isn't property! Mr. Stone is an American citizen, and no American citizen may be forced into the service of a foreign prince.
-Foreign? And who calls me a foreigner?
-Well, I never heard the dev-- of your claiming American citizenship.
-And who with better right? When the first wrong was done to the first Indian, I was there. When the first slaver put out for the Congo, I stood on the deck. Am I not spoken of, still, in every church in New England? 'Tis true, the North claims me for a Southerner, and the South for a Northerner, but I am neither. To
-Then I stand on the Constitution! I demand a trial for my client.
-You mean -- a jury trial?
-I do! If I can't win this case with a jury, you shall have me, too. If two New Hampshire men aren't a match for the devil, we'd better give this country back to the Indians.
-Very well. -- You shall have your trial, Mr. Webster. The case is hardly one for an ordinary jury --
-Let it be the quick or the dead -- So it is an American judge and an American jury!
-The quick or the dead! You have said it. May -- the best man win, Mr. Webster!
-Your Honor -- gentlemen of the jury -- this case need not detain us long. It concerns one thing alone -- the transference, barter and sale of a certain piece of property, to wit, his soul by Jabez Stone. That transference, barter or sale is attested by a deed. I offer that deed in evidence and mark it Exhibit A.
-My congratulations -- as between two gentlemen.
-I wanted to give it all to the church.
-My money? Why, Mister Stevens? What a quaint idea. Come over to the door. I want to speak to you privately. Stop throwing away that money. We mustn't let people see any softness in you, Mister Stevens.... People take advantage of softness, you know. Come out of there -- I'll give you an extension if you'll forget this stupid repentance idea.
-That isn't it. It's ... the loneliness, Mr. Scratch ... the loneliness!
-The loneliness? Lonely with all your gold, Mister Stevens? That hardly makes sense.
-I want someone to talk to ...
-You can talk to me ...
-No, no ... I want to talk to men ... to people in Cross Corners ...to my neighbors ...
-Why don't you?
-I can't be honest with them.
-I'm John McClane.
-Argyle. Don't you take this stuff?
-Do I? I'm sorry. You're gonna have to help me, man. This is my first time driving a limo.
-If your friend is hot to trot...I know a couple of mama bears. ...Or is he married?
-The girl was off today. Hey, I didn't expect you to sit up front. So, your lady live out here?
-The past six months.
-Meanwhile, you still live in New York?
-You're nosey, you know that, Argyle?
-Hey, I'm sorry. When I was a cabdriver, see, people expected a little chit chat, a little eccentricity and comaraderie, I forgot how stuck up you limo guys were, so excuse me.
-It's okay, it's okay.
-She had a good job, it turned into a great career.
-But meant her moving here.
-Closer to Japan. You're fast.
-So, why didn't you come?
-'Cause I'm a New York cop who used to be a New York kid, and I got six months backlog of New York scumbags I'm still trying to put behind bars. I don't just get up and move.
-Like I said, Argyle...you're fast.
-How 'bout some Christmas music?
-So, you go on upstairs to the party, your lady sees you, you run into each other's arms. Music comes up, you live happily ever after, that it?
-It's corny, but I could live with it.
-What is it don't work out that way? Where you gonna stay?
-You're all right, Argyle.
-I'm Special Agent Johnson of the FBI. This is Agent Johnson...no relation.
-Dwayne Robinson, LAPD. I'm in charge here.
-One of yours?
-No, sir.
--- ten blocks? Are you crazy? It's Christmas Eve, thousands of people -- the Mayor'll scream bloody murder --
-What's happening?
-They don't look happy...something's gone wrong.
-The police...?
-John.
-John? Christ, he could fuck this whole thing up...what does he think he's doing?
-How about his job?
-His 'job' is 3000 miles away. Without him, they might let us go...at least we have a chance...
-Where are you going?
-I'm tired of sitting here waiting to see who gets us killed first... them...or your husband. Hi there.
-What are you going to do?
-John, they're giving me a few minutes to try and talk some sense into you. I know you think you're doing your job, and I can appreciate that, but you're just dragging this thing out. None of us gets out of here until these people can negotiate with the LA police, and they're just not gonna start doing that until you stop messing up
-Ellis, what have you told them?
-Ellis...you shouldn't be doing this...
-John, I think you could get with the program a little. The police are here now. It's their problem. Tell these guys where the detonators are so no one else gets hurt. Hey, I'm putting my life on the line for you buddy...
-What am I, a method actor? Hans, babe, put away the gun. This is radio, not television...
-That asshole's not my friend! I barely know him! I hate his fucking guts -- -- Ellis, for Christ's sake, tell him you don't mean shit to me --
-Hope I'm not interrupting...?
-You're very perceptive.
-Hey, I read the papers, I watch 60 minutes, I say to myself, these guys are professionals, they're motivated, they're happening. They want something. Now, personally, I don't care about your politics. Maybe you're pissed at the Camel Jockeys, maybe it's the Hebes, Northern Ireland, that's none of my business. I figure, You're here to negotiate, am I right?
-You're amazing. You figured this all out already?
-Hey, business is business. You use a gun, I use a fountain pen, what's the difference? To put it in my terms, you're here on a hostile takeover and you grab us for some greenmail but you didn't expect a poison pill was gonna be running around the building. Hans, baby...I'm your white knight.
-I must have missed 60 Minutes. What are you saying?
-Nothing...
-I know what you are feeling. But this is not productive --
-No. Heinrich's team must finish planting the detonators...and Theo needs time on the vault. After the * police come they'll waste hours trying to negotiate...that's when we search * for this man. Until then...we do not alter the plan.
-Hans, he killed by brother --
-He wasn't lying about Marco: He's thirty stories down on the street. The other man is Heinrich, and I found his body upstairs. And his bag is missing.
--- you wouldn't let me kill him when I had the chance --
-If you'd listened to me he would be neutralized already!
-'Asian Dawn Movement?'
-It's beautiful. I always enjoyed models as a boy. The exactness, the attention to every foreseeable detail... perfection.
-Yes...I know about them. The code key is a necessary step in accessing the vault.
-You want...money? What kind of terrorists are you?
-The code key, please...?
-I don't know it! get on a Goddamn jet to Tokyo and ask the chairman! I'm telling you! You're just going to have to kill me --
-Bad for your health anyway.
-Who are you, then?
-Mr. Mystery Guest. Are you still there?
-I wouldn't think of leaving, Hans. Unless you want to open the front door...?
-I'm afraid not. But you have me at a loss -- you know my name, but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child. Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne...Rambo... Marshal Dillion.
-Actually, I was always partial to Roy Rogers. I really dug those sequined shirts.
-Hear that? Talk to me, where are my detonators. Where are they or shall I shoot another one? Sooner or later... ...I might get to someone you do care about.
---ohGodplease -- don't kill me -- don't kill me -- you're one of them, I know it --
-You...you're an American?
-You...you don't work for Nakatomi... and if you're not one of them...
-I'm a cop from New York.
-New York...
-Better than being caught with your pants down, right? John McClane.
-Bill, you know how to use a handgun?
-One weekend I went to a combat ranch... You know, that game with the, the guns that shoot red paint? Must sound pretty silly to you...
-Hans. Your Hans.
-Put it down now.
-That was tricky, with the accent. I bet you do a great Ed Sullivan. Why do you need the detonators, Hans? I already used the explosives.
-I'm going to count to three...
-Nein, dies ein ist mein. This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
-That was Gary Cooper, shithead...
-No more jokes, drop it or she gets it between the eyes!
-Whoa, Hans, now you're the cowboy?
-Then there's no reason not to tell it to us.
-How long?
-Thirty minutes to break the code... Two hours for the five mechanicals. The seventh lock...that's out of my hands.
-Yo!
-Three down, four to go --
-You better heat up that miracle * you were talking about. We broke through on Number Six, and the Electromagentic came down like a sledgehammer...
-...the circuits that cannot be cut... are cut automatically in reponse to a terrorist incident...You ask for miracles, Theo...I give you the FBI...
-Encourage them to be bolder.
-I...have a request.
-Oh? What idiot put you in charge?
-Go on.
-We have a pregnant woman out there -- -- relax, she's not due for two weeks, but a marble floor isn't doing her back any good. I'd like permission for her to more to one of the offices where there's a sofa.
-No. But I'll have a sofa brought out to you. Good enough?
-Good enough. And unless you like is messy, you'd better start taking us in groups to the bathroom.
-Mr. Takagi chose his people well, Mrs...?
-After all your posturing, all your speeches...you're nothing but a common thief.
-Nice, but one of us is three hours out of sync. I think it's me. Is there a place I can wash up?
-What are you doing?
-It's a long story. You know, I think that Ellis has his eye on you.
-Well, Cappy Roberts retired out here a couple years ago. He said I could bunk with him.
-Oh...Where does he live?
-Ramona...no, Pomona, that's it.
-They would, huh?
-...I've missed you. *
-Especially my name. You must miss it every time you write a check. When did you start calling yourself 'Ms. Gennero'?
-This is a Japanese company, you know? They figure a married woman, she's on the way out the door...
-Sure. It's unnerving. I remember this one particular married woman, she went out the door so fast there was practically a jetwash...I mean, talk about your wind chill factor...
-Didn't we have this same conversation in July? Damn it, John, there was an opportunity out here -- I had to take it --
-No matter what it did to our marriage -- ?
-My job and my title and my salary did nothing to our marriage except change your idea of what it should be.
-Oh, here it comes. One of those 'meaningful relationship conversations.' I never should've let you get those magazine subscriptions --
-I'll be a few minutes. Wait here --
-John!
-Excuse me, I'm looking for --
-Holly Gennero?
-Yeah. How'd you know?
-I've spent half my life on airplanes, * I can recognize someone who just got off one. I'm Joe Takagi, Mr. McClane. I have ...something to do with this company.
-Relax, Ellis. I'm off duty.
-Can I get you anything? Food? Cake? Watered down champagne punch?
-I'm fine. You throw quite a party. I didn't know they had Christmas in Japan.
-You wife's made for this business. She know how to drive a hard bargain.
-How do you know?
-I hear you... Partner. And LA's finest are on it, so light 'em if you got 'em.
-I'm ahead of you...partner.
-'Roy'.
-Got it...'Roy'. Now listen. If you think of anything else you think we need to know, don't be shy, okay? In the meantime I want you to find a safe place and hole-up and let us do our job. Understand?
-I'm here, Roy, but I'm, uh, kind of busy. Let's talk later, okay?
-Al, what's wrong? Did something -- -- Oh, God. You're coming in! That's it, isn't it? Christ, Powell, I told you what you're dealing with here --
-Safe and sound, thanks to you. What the fuck was that?
-The plastique I found. Is the building on fire?
-No, but it's gonna need one hell of a paint job and a shitload of screen doors. One spotters say you got two with that blast.
-Hey, I love you. So do a lot of the guys. So hang in there, man. Hang in there.
-Yeah, just trying to handle some year old twinkies. Yucck. What do they put in these things?
-'Sugar, enriched flour, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, polysorbate 60 and yellow dye #5.'
-You sound like a man with a couple of kids.
-Two. And I'd sure like to see them swinging on the jungle gym with Al junior.
-Al? Al, you there?
-I'm here, cowboy.
-Speaking of cows, did you ever hear so much bullshit in your life? Two hours? That doesn't even make any sense --
-Don't tell me, partner. I'm just a desk jockey who was on the way home when you rang.
-The way you drove that car, I figured you for the streets.
-Roy? You still with us?
-Yeah. But all things being equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. By the way, chalk up two more terrorists.
-Yeah? What's the odds?
-They way you drive, I can see why.
-Eleven years ago. Oh, it was dark... he was big for his age...damn ray gun he had looked real enough...yeah, I had all the right excuses...but afterwards... I really couldn't draw my gun again.
-I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a joke of it.
-Hey, you couldn't know.
-I still feel like shit.
-Powell? What's going on?
-Look...I'm getting a bad feeling up here...I'd like you to do something for me. Look up my wife...don't ask how, you'll know by then...and tell her...tell her...I've been a jerk. When things panned out for her, I should've been behind her all the way ...We had something great going until I screwed it up...She was the best thing that ever happened to a bum
-I got it. But you can tell her yourself. Just watch your ass and you'll make it.
-I hope so. But that's up to the guy upstairs. Upstairs... ...Hans, you bastard...what were you doing?
-Roy?
-Al. Man, you were my rock. I couldn't have made it without you.
-Bullshit.
-I am, Sir...Sergeant Al Powell.
-Dwayne Robinson. Well, what have you learned? What do they want?
-The terrorists? Don't know, Sir. We haven't heard a peep from them.
-Then who the hell have you been talking too?
-We don't exactly know, Sir. He won't give us him name. He appears to be the man who called in the report...he's killed one of the terrorists for sure and claims he capped two others.
-He claims? Powell, has it occured to you he could be one of the terrorists, pulling your chain? Or some kind of nut case who --
-I don't think so, Sir. In fact... I think he's a cop. Maybe not LAPD, but definitely a badge.
-How do you know?
-A hunch. Things he said. Like, knowing how to recognize a phony ID --
-What's going on?
-What's it look like? We're going in.
-Going in...are you out of your mind? There's 30 hostages in there -- for all we know --
--- all we know? We don't know shit, Powell. If there's hostages why hasn't anyone asked for ransom? If there's terrorists, where's their goddamn list of demands? All we know is that someone shot up your car, and it could be the same flake you've been talking to on the radio!
-What about the body that fell out of the window -- ?
-Is that him?
-Yessir.
-Goddamn, didn't you hear him! He practically pulled the Goddamned trigger himself -- he gave that man to them --
-Christ, can't you read between the lines! He did everything he could to save him...if he gave himself up they'd both be dead!
-Maybe. And maybe they'd at least be talking to us! Now tell your 'partner' to stay out of it, or so help me if he lives through this I'll put him behind bars myself!
-He's alone, tired, hunted, and hasn't seen diddly-squat from us and you think he gives a flying fuck about what you're going to do to him? Robinson, wake up and smell the shit you're shoveling!
-This is --
-Gene -- you smilin'?
-No. I never smile any more.
-Whattaya think: we gonna kill any civilians tonight, Gene?
-I never make bets or guesses, that way I'm never wrong and I never have to pay out.
-So whatsa deal?
-They jet's comin' out. But don't let 'em off the ground.
-What if we gotta kill a whole lot of people?
-Don't let 'em off the ground.
-If you're right I'm gonna back you a hundred percent, you know that.
-These seats come out?
-Jesus, you're the man!
-I was lookin' at it. I saw you, man! Jesus! You oughta see yourself! You wouldn't believe it.
-Yes, I would.
-God damn it, Sheila isn't gonna believe it. They just call in and say gas up a stretchout and get it down to and I say, 'shit, another load of Elks for the massage parlors.'
-Aw, hey...
-You'll be okay.
-Hey, Sonny! I'm watchin' it on TV!
-What about the kids?
-They don't know, I sent them to the neighbors. Sonny, Jesus, it's not like you. I can't believe, because you never hurt anybody since the day I knew you.
-Heidi, I'm dying.
-I blame myself, Sonny. I notice you been tense, like something is happening; the night before last you're yellin' at the kids like a madman, believe me. And then you wanted me to go on this ride with the kids, this caterpillar about from here to there - fulla one- year-old kids. It's ridiculous. I'm not about to go on this ride, so you
-Heidi, for Christ sake, shut up! Will you shut your fucking mouth and listen?!
-...because you hurt me, God how you hurt me. Can you imagine, marrying another man? Did I do something to make you do that? Did I ever turn you down, or anything? The only thing I couldn't do, you're gonna laugh, is go on top - I got this fear of high places! And I let myself get fat.
-Don't call yourself fat.
-I know you can't stand me to say I'm fat. Like I can't stand you being a bank robber. I guess that's what love is -- huh, Sonny?
-Heidi - why didn't you come down here?
-Jesus - what - I'm afraid - I'm gonna get shot or whatever. You oughta see it on TV, the guns, the cops, they got cannon, machine guns, they're loaded with gear.
-They're not after you, they're after me.
-Sonny, I'm gettin' real bad vibes.
-Jackie - what are you talking about?
-Maybe we can take something smaller... like a Spanish grocery.
-Hey, don't take the car!
-Well, how'll I get home?
-Sonny, there's somebody under that desk over there... I'm sorry...
-Jenny?
-He says he doesn't know. Why don't you cook whatever's there?
-It looks like a whole roast.
-What guns?
-The robbers in the bank. They got guns?
-Yeah. A lot of guns.
-Well, stay away from them. Don't get close.
-I'll kiss the baby for you.
-Jesus Christ is coming back and he's really pissed.
-Yeah, well I don't blame him.
-No. Look, we're kind of....
-That's why I can talk to you, as an equal, Sonny. You got to merge your whole soul with God. And then you are Him and one with the Holy Ghost.
-Yeah, well...maybe you better talk to one of these others, okay?
-Hello. Hello, Leon.
-Hello, Sonny.
-How are you doing?
-Well... I'm out of the hospital.
-Yeah. You said... I thought you were never getting out?
-I never thought I'd get out this way. I'll tell you.
-Well.... huh ...
-Ooohh....
-Oh... huh ... how you feeling?
-I'm really shakey.
-Well, you know ... Moretti told me before that you were drugged up.
-Yeah. It was terrible.
-That... huh... they just shoot you with drugs.
-You come in and they say, right away, that you are crazy. And they start putting things in your arm... you know. How do they expect you to get uncrazy if you're asleep all the time?
-Yeah...
-You can't talk or do anything. You really feel... you know... I'm just sort of coming out of it now.
-So... that sure is something.
-Yeah. So how are you?
-Fine, thank you. I'm in trouble. That is... now I am!
-Yeah... I know.
-I don't know what I'm gonna do... you know. Boy... I'm dying.
-What? What are you talking about? You are dying? Did you ever listen to yourself when you say that?
-What are you talking about?
-What do you mean... what am I talking about? Do you realize that you say that to me every day of your life? I am dying. Do you know... do you realize the death that you are spreading around to the people who are around you?
-Now don't give me that deep shit now. Don't start with that shit.
-No really... I don't think that you realize what it means. The things that you do, Sonny. You put a gun to somebody's head...
-I don't know what I'm doing.
-Yeah... obviously you don't... when you put a gun to somebody's head... and you say go to sleep so that it won't hurt when I pull the trigger. Death? Don't talk about death to me. I have been living with death for the last six months. Why do you think I'm in the hospital? I take a handful of pills to get away from
-I'm not on the phone to talk to you about that. Well, I don't know what to say, Leon. When you gimme that... when you hit me with that shit. I mean, what am I supposed to say?
-I'm sorry...
-I told you. That I got a lot of pressures. You said to me that you needed money, and I knew that you needed money! I saw you there lying in the hospital like that... and I said... shit, man, I got to get this guy some money.
-But I didn't ask you to go rob a bank.
-All right. I know you didn't ask me. You didn't ask me but I did it.
-Well...
-I did it on my own. I did this all on my own. I ain't laying it on anybody. Nothing on anybody. I'll tell you something, though, it's about time that I squared away my accounts... you know. I am squaring away my accounts with life. Maye this whole thing is gonna end, somehow. Maybe it'll just end! Maybe I'll just close my eyes
-What trip?
-I'm getting out of here, man. I'm not going to stay here and I'm not giving up. I mean, huh, they're going to kill me, anyway. So fuck it! But, if I can get out of this... I am going to get out. And, how I'm going to do it is to get a jet out of here and I'm flying the fuck out...
-I'm free to do what I want? And you think I would want to go with you some place on a plane? Where? Where ya going?
-I gotta jet coming here and we're gonna try to get the fuck outta this thing. And we're gonna go, man!
-You're crazy.
-That's it.
-You're really crazy.
-I know!
-Where you gonna go?
-Who the fuck knows? I think we're gonna go ... we worked it out to Algeria. So, I don't know. So I'll go to Algeria.
-Why you going to Algeria?
-Huh ... I don't know. They got Howard Johnson's there. I don't know why the fuck I'm going there for.
-Howard Johnson's... you're warped. You know that? You're really warped!
-I know that. I'm warped... I'm warped!
-God, Algeria! Do you know there's a bunch of... they walk around there... God! People walk around with masks and things on their heads. They're a bunch of crazy people there.
-What am I supposed to do?
-I don't know... you could have picked a better place.
-Denmark? Sweden?
-I like that... yeah!
-So! Sal is with you?
-Sal? Yeah... Sal is with me.
-Oh... wow! Sonny, you're really into one mess now.
-I know I am. I know!
-Sal... Sal... Naturale, oh boy!
-He ain't going out. And if I go out he's just gonna kill the people. There's a lot of lives that I'm responsible for... that's all. So, I can't do anything. I got myself into this mess and I'll get myself out of it... the best way I know how! One of the ways is not giving up. I'm telling ya!
-Would you do something for me? Please?
-What?
-These guys that got me down here, you know, huh... they think that I'm part of this whole thing. They think I'm part of the plot to rob the bank!
-How did they think that? What are they... crazy? What do you mean. That's bullshit, Leon. They're giving you a fucken story.
-Well... they told me that I was an accomplice...
-Oh... they're fucken crazy. That's a snow job. Don't listen to that shit!
-I gotta listen to it if they think...
-Shit...
-I can't survive in prison, Sonny...
-All right. Then what do you want me to say?
-Sonny, would you please just tell them... please...
-Where are they now? Just tell me... are they on the phone now?
-Yeah.
-That's great. Just terrific. You talk to me with them on the phone, right? That is really smart. And, you don't tell me?
-I don't have a choice.
-You don't have a choice?
-No! They're standing all around me. Seven thousand fucken cops... all around me.
-Look... who's on the phone?
-Look... don't throw that on me.
-Who's on the phone, now? What do you mean... throw it on you? You knew it, right?
-Yeah... I knew it. But, what choice do I have? I'm in the hospital; they drag me out of the hospital... bring me down here...
-All right, enough! Who the fuck is on the phone... anyway? Is that you Moretti? You on the phone? Will somebody talk to me?
-They won't talk to you.
-Are they on the phone still?
-Yeah... yeah!
-All right! He didn't do it. All right? Now... would you get the fuck off the phone? I'll bet that really changed them, huh? Anyway, Leon... did I do it for you?
-Yeah... huh, thank you. I'm going to go back, Sonny, to the hospital. They're really nice people. They're really trying to help me.
-That's good then. You've found something.
-Well... I don't know if I have or not.
-Do you still want the operation?
-Yeah... yeah.
-Well, then...
-It's my only chance!
-I don't know what to say to ya! I guess I just wanted to say I'll see ya... or whatever.
-Thank you much... and huh, bon voyage.
-Right. See you sometime.
-Yeah... see ya in my dreams, huh?
-Yeah... I'll write a song. Ha, ha. I don't know. Life is funny!
-Leon? Whatsa matter? They give you a shot down the hospital or what?
-Oh, God, they shot me with like unreal!
-Well, you got to get hold of yourself. You got to talk to him, tell him to give himself up.
-Oh no!
-He's got eight people in there with him. He's got this kid with him ... they're gonna shoot the people.
-I can't help it. I can't stop him from anything.
-If he won't listen to you, who will he listen to?
-He won't listen to anybody. He's been very crazy all summer. Since June he's been trying to kill me.
-You try calling the police?
-What good is that? They couldn't stop him. And it'd just make him mad. They don't know him.
-Somebody's got to stop him, Leon.
-He was under great strain: you don't understand, he's a very mixed up person.
-He's makin' threats in there.
-He's scared. It's crazy. I never met anyone like him. His wife, he's a wonderful father to his children. His mother - you should see her - his mother and father together are like a bad car wreck - he lets it all slide off his back, he sees them, he pays their rent. Unbelievable. I wanted to get married ... He didn't really
-What kind of things, Leon?
-Ten days I spent in Atlantic City - Sonny was frantic - he knew I was drinking; he didn't know where I was ... who I was with. I couldn't explain why I did the things I did. So I went to this psychiatrist who explained to me I was a woman in a man's body. So Sonny right away wanted to get me
-He needed money? For the operation for you?
-It made him crazy - so much demand, he'd fly into this rages. And I got more depressed than ever; I saw I'd never get the operation. So I tried to take my life - I swallowed about a half pound of pills ... blues, reds, yellows, downers, uppers, screamers ... you name it. But I just threw them up and wound up in
-Well, don't you figure you owe to him to get him out of there?
-I can't talk to him.
-You're in it up to your ass, Leon. You're an accessory. You talk him out of there and they might be a little more understanding of your case.
-I'm afraid.
-How is he gonna hurt you on the telephone?
-I don't know what to say to him. I can't.
-Yeah.
-What are you doin' in there?
-Who's this?
-What a fuckin' comedy! WNEW plays all the hits.
-Listen, first off, is anybody hurt in there?
-Okay, you're in there and we're out here. What do we do now?
-I told you -- keep away. I don't know what we do now.
-Awright, but I wanna talk to you. First off, we wanna know if the people in the bank are okay.
-They're okay.
-You alone, or you got confederates?
-I'm not alone.
-How many you got in there?
-I got Sal.
-Sal? What's that for? Salvatore?
-Right -- got ya. Okay, so there's you -- what's your name?
-What do you want to know that for?
-Give me a name, any name, just so I got somethin' to call you.
-Call me Sonny-boy.
-Sonny-boy, one word?
-One word. You won't find it in the phone book.
-Listen, Sonny ... can I call you Sonny for short?
-Call me whatever you want.
-Okay, Sonny, I want to see if the people in the bank are okay, then what I want to do is work out a way to get them out of there. I want to come over there, without a gun ... and you can frisk me. So you can see you can trust me. So we can talk and find a way outta this
-I frisk you?
-You frisk me.
-Right -- I'm with you, buddy.
-I'd like just some sign I can trust you too, Sonny. I don't want to trust my body out where you could just shoot me. Some sight ... right?
-Sure ... like ... I'm not gonna shoot you.
-How about letting the people out of the bank. Why put them in this position?
-They're what's keeping me alive. You think you're dealing with an idiot? Talk to me then.
-Okay, give us the women.
-Oh, no ... Women is all we got.
-You're all one way! I'm bein' reasonable with you; give me somethin' ... Give me one of them, anyway ... Just one ...
-You got these cops outta here. They're comin' in too close.
-Come on. I want you to see something.
-You want me to give up, huh? Look, Sal's in back with the girls. Anything happens to me - one move - and Sal gives it to them. Boom boom. How do I know you won't jump me?
-Let Sal come out, take a look. What hope you got? Quit while you're ahead. All you got is attempted robbery.
-... armed robbery ...
-What?
-When I'm bein' fucked, I like to be kissed a lot. Who the fuck are you tryin' to con me into some deal? You're a city cop, where's the FBI? This is a federal offense, I got kidnapping, armed robbery, they're gonna bury me! You know it, you can't talk for them, you're some flunky pig tryin' to bullshit me. Now God damn it,
-Calm down, you're not ...
-He wanted to kill me!
-I want a helicopter to get outa here! And a jet to take us to... ... wherever we want to go. Outa the country, so no little jets. A big one with a bar and a piano lounge.
-Sonny, be reasonable!
-I want to see my wife. I want you to bring her down here.
-Okay, what do you give me?
-What do you want?
-The girl hostages.
-Nothin' doin'. I give you one hostage when you bring my wife, and one for the helicopter, one for the jet, and the rest can come home on the jet.
-What the hell you doin' back there?
-What the fuck do you want?
-They were ...
-You tryin' to fuck me?
-No, I'm not tryin' to fuck you.
-So, what were they doin'? You're tellin' me you had nothin' to do with that back there?
-I swear to God I had nothing to do with it ...
-Bullshit ... I don't walk to talk to you ...
-Wait a minute ... everything you asked for is on the way ...
-Yeah ...
-Is on its way ... The helicopter can't land but we got a bus ... the jet's on its way to Kennedy ... we got a bus coming here ...
-You're full of shit ...
-Sonny, your wife's on the way ... We reached her ... your wife's on the way ... everything you asked for, you got.
-Well, what were you doin' back there?
-It can't happen again ... I'll do everything I can to stop anything I can ...
-You know, you're telling me that a helicopter can't land here ...
-Can't land ... you'd kill people ...
-Don't fuck with me ...
-I'm not ... I'm not ... you're gettin' a bus ... you're gettin' a bus ... the jet's comin' into Kennedy ... and your wife's on the way ... what else do you need? What else can I get you? Listen, I don't know how you can do better ... see that man over there ... the FBI guy ...
-Just one more explosion like that and you're gonna see a dead body ...
-There won't be ... there won't be ... What else do you need? How else can we help you?
-All right ... I got some hungry people in there ... I want to get some pizza ... some stuff like that ...
-What else?
-Cokes, seven-ups ... also some aspirin ...
-Aspirins ... okay you got it. Charlie! Six pizzas!
-Yeah?
-Is he all right? Is he all right?
-He's all doped up.
-I want to talk to him.
-Here comes the FBI. You men lookin' for protection? We got all the police right here.
-We're all set at Kennedy.
-What makes you think you'll be able to control it?
-He's totally unstable. He'll make a mistake.
-He hasn't so far. I'm the one who can make a mistake. That's what scares the shit out of me.
-Okay, okay... we know it's a stickup!
-Hey... let him out!
-Okay, is the vault open?
-I must of been outta my mind.
-What's the matter with you?
-This is it? What am I gonna do with this? Holy shit!
-It's all we got.
-Hey, you, manager... Don't get any ideas, fucker... See that man there? I bark and he bites!
-Believe me, I'm on your side.
-Hello... I'm sorry I can't talk to you right now... I suggest you call during banking hours tomorrow. What is your name?
-Howard, give him the keys...
-The gun's right on your back...
-For God's sake, will you please go now? We gave you every nickel we got.
-Hello, Mulvaney here...
-I swear to God... on my salary, I'm not gonna be any hero...
-Where's the back door?
-Now, you -- what's your name?
-Mulvaney...
-Let's go to the back door. How'd that guy get to be a guard?
-Well, they go to guard school.
-To what ... learn how to shoot? They don't get a gun.
-You got kids?
-I got two kids ... and I'd like to see them again.
-Don't ask me questions. I got connections. You find out who I am, you're cold meat.
-I don't care who you are ... I just want to get you outta here, safe, right?
-What if I take you with me?
-If you take anybody, please take me.
-You're just a nice guy, Mr. Mulvaney. Only don't fuck around with me, you know what I mean?
-What?
-Why the hell did he do that? What the hell did I do?
-You see what we're dealing with? They want me to kill all of you!
-What now, Sonny?
-Where's the air conditioning?
-I don't know, Sonny ... on the roof somewhere I guess.
-Do you think we can turn it on?
-Are we going to get the ball rolling?
-I'm okay ... I'm okay ...
-You know more than the Doctor? You're not okay, look at you. Come on ... ... let's get him out ...
-Hey! I'm tryin' to help you.
-I stay here. Damn it. I just needed the insulin. I'm used to it. Go on. Go on.
-You tell me. Is he endangering his health, because if you tell me he is, I'll get him out.
-I'll be God damned if you will.
-I'll never see them again, Mister Mulvaney.
-They look like good kids.
-They're like any others but they're special to me. You got kids? You told me; you got two.
-Special to me, too.
-You like me?
-Sure - we like you.
-No you don't.
-You know, I don't know him very well - but he's not gay ... and he's not going back to prison ... One time when he was in prison, they gang-banged him; 13 years old and eight guys gave it to him ... So Sal isn't goin' back to prison, no way.
-I'm sorry.
-You know ... I like you people ... I really do.
-We like you, too.
-You know - I had a job once. I used to work in a bank. I had been training ... I used to have a boss ... Mr. Don Frio ... he wore a toupee ... I wonder if you'd hire me if I came in here and asked you for a job ...
-Would I hire you?
-Yeah.
-Why not?
-Mister Mulvaney?
-Yeah?
-Are you a lawyer?
-No. I had some legal training, but...
-You got Bank Americard?
-What now, Sonny?
-What is it, Sam?
-Everything's all right? You okay?
-You all right?
-Little smoke: like a Polish four- alarm fire, is all.
-Yeah. Well, you're okay?
-Yeah, thanks for keeping an eye out.
-Thanks again, Sam.
-I'm glad it's okay.
-It's up to you ladies.
-Hey, girls -- I was on television...
-I didn't eat any pizza.
-I wish somebody would tell me I'm gonna live long enough for it to be a habit. My parent, she'll be okay. My husband, he'll be okay. I even know who the bum is gonna marry. Terrific. She'll take good care of him.
-Ah, Sonny! Good luck, you know?
-You were terrific, too!
-How did you know your son was involved?
-It was on the TV.
-When was the last time you saw Sal?
-Oh, a long time. Because I kept asking my husband where the heck could Junior be? He wasn't around here. I thought maybe he was in prison or some place.
-Did you know he was a homosexual?
-No, not until after they killed him.
-Did you always call him Junior.
-Yeah.
-Do you remember anything else about Sal?
-You don't smoke ... why do you want to start now.
-Because I'm scared, that's why. You never smoked?
-I used to, but I stopped.
-You stopped? Why?
-Because I don't want cancer.
-No! I'm not kidding. Don't you understand? You're pure!
-Pure?
-You shouldn't start now.
-For God's sake! As soon as I'm outta this bank robbery, I'm gonna stop ... okay?
-Go ahead. Do what you want to do. I hate to see you break a perfect record. You oughta take care of your body.
-My body? What for?
-Your body is the temple of the Lord.
-You're serious!
-You're really pure, you know? You got a perfect record. You never used that stuff to ruin your body, why start now?
-You know, you remind me of my 19- year-old brother - only he's got his hair down to his knees - he looks like something that eats berries and roots out of the ground. God forbid I should say something to him like, 'Listen, if you ever smoke marijuana, just remember that it's illegal' and he storms outta the house. You rob a bank,
-You gonna smoke the cigarette?
-Hey, for christ's sake... now... fuckin' asshole... He can't make it.
-Ah, Jesus...
-Let's go, Sonny.
-He's gone?
-Where's the money?
-Goddamn women...
-It's the cops. Shit!
-You mean that?
-What?
-... The bodies out the door.
-I want him to think that.
-Sal, I'm sorry about this. But we can get outta this thing. There's a way outta this.
-Are you serious? About throwin' a body outta here if we have to?
-Well, I stalled him for a while. When it comes the time, then we'll work it out. Okay?
-But do you mean in? ... But you just told him that if worse comes to worse...
-I want him to think that.
-But I want to know what you think.
-We won't have to.
-He wants one.
-Dead or alive?
-To show that we're negotiating.
-All right ... send them the guard.
-Okay, Sal ... what do we do?
-
-I figure maybe we can get the FBI to make a deal ...
-What kind of a deal?
-Maybe we can get outta this thing alive ... get 'em to drop the kidnapping charges ...
-What do you mean? You talkin' about coppin a plea?
-
-... because if you're talking about coppin' a plea, I'm tellin' you right now, there's no deal ... I'm never going back to prison ... We got our own deal already ... Do you remember the pact we made? You and me and Jackie - that night in the bar ... we were talkin' about if we get trapped in the bank, what are
-We'd kill ourselves.
-Does that still go?
-You realize, Sal, that we're gonna get outta the country, so if you wanna talk to somebody, do it now ... You gotta Mother or a Father? Friends? If we gotta be outside the country, where do you wanna go? Any country. Just name a country.
-Wyoming.
-Sonny -
-Yeah ...
-I never been up in a plane before.
-They're trying to come through the door!
-Okay ... okay ... all right, Sal, it's okay. I got everything straightened out ... it's gonna be okay.
-Get over there!
-What?
-They keep sayin' two homosexuals. I'm not a homosexual. I want you to stop them saying that.
-It's the FBI. He wants to come in.
-Sal?
-What'd he say?
-He was talkin' about arrangements ... we were talkin' about the TV.
-Why couldn't he talk about that here?
-Hey, Sal ... How you doin'?
-Just give me a receipt. Hey, Sal, you okay?
-Okay, Sonny.
-There it is, Sal. Sal?
-I'm here.
-Hey, Sonny - You did it!
-First off, get the lights back on and the air conditioning.
-No more favors. That's all over, Sonny.
-Aw, Jesus ... you been doin' us favors all night!
-I've got a jet. I'll have airport limousine here in a half hour. I want the hostages.
-Bullshit!
-Well, Jesus, these hostages are keeping me alive.
-Okay, when do I get them?
-At the airport. We get on the plane, check it out, and if it's all okay we'll send them out. Except one.
-I want them all.
-I want to come in, and see if everybody's okay.
-You got guts. You think if Sal and me have cut their throats we're gonna let you out?
-Jesus, you'd like to kill me, too.
-I wouldn't like to, but I will, if I have to.
-Nobody give their right name ... it's the FBI!
-Wait a minute! What the fuck you tryin' to tell me?
-What's wrong?
-Sonny! Could you come out, please? Could you come out, please?
-I don't want him.
-What can he do, he's clean...
-I can't allow that, Sonny...
-Okay - you got your one.
-That's the jet. You give us one more, now. That's the deal...
-I ain't eaten all day. I just realized it.
-Okay, who's the head teller here?
-I am.
-Listen, we got young girls here... you could watch your language.
-Listen, I'll never make it. I'll have to go to the toilet.
-What's the matter... they never housebroke you?
-Oh - Maria!
-What are you trying to pull?
-I forgot she's in here.
-Oh, shit! I gotta have time to think.
-What is it? Did you just barge in here... He doesn't have plan. It's all a whim. 'Rob a bank! What not?'
-Hey, you okay?
-He's got diabetes. He's not a well person.
-My kids ... Kimmy and Jimmy.
-Hey, let's get ready!
-Here's your document, Sonny.
-Fuck! We did it!
-What do you want here, Ma? You could of watched it on TV.
-My God, Sonny - you oughtta see - Alla Brooklyn is here! On all 3 networks!
-Mom - I got it all worked out; it's over. The best thing is you go home. Watch it on TV.
-I talked to the FBI, I told them about you, they said if you just come outta the bank it's gonna be okay.
-You did what? Who did you talk to? What for?
-Well, I'm only trying to get you outta this. I told them you were in Vietnam, you always had good jobs, you were with Goldwater at the '64 convention, but you had marital problems...
-Oh my God, mother!
-I said you were never a faggot.
-Don't talk to them anymore. Sal and me are getting a jet, we're going to Algeria - I'll write you from there.
-He was very understanding - you ought to talk to him ... Algeria?
-We can't stay here.
-Mom - they're sending a bus to take us to the airport. You understand? If you're here - they're not gonna send it. They'll think I'm gonna come out with you.
-What's wrong with that? The FBI was very understanding when I explained it to him. Everybody knows it isn't you ... It's the pressures from your home life.
-For God's sake don't start in on Heidi again ...
-Did I say a thing against her? God forbid I should say anything against that fat cunt.
-Mom. Mom. There are some things a mother shouldn't say in front of her son.
-If she comes down here, so help me I'm gonna mash her brains in. Everything in your life was sunlight and roses until you met her. Since then, forget it.
-She doesn't have anything to do with it! You understand that? Mother? This is me!
-I know you wouldn't need Leon if Heidi was treating you right. The thing I don't understand is why you come out and sleep with Heidi anyway? You got two kids on welfare now. What're you goin' to bed with her, you don't have enough with one wife and two kids on welfare, you want a wife and three kids on welfare?
-Not now, Mom, please.
-What'll you do? Come out.
-I can't, Mom. If I come out Sal will kill them.
-Oh. Run.
-What the hell for? Twenty-five years in the pen?
-Maybe...
-I'm a fuckup and an outcast. There isn't one single person in my life I haven't hurt through my love. You understand that? I'm the most dangerous person in the world, because if I love you, watch out, you're gonna get fucked, fucked over and fucked out!
-No!
-Did Pop come down?
-No. This really pissed him off, Sonny. He says you're dead. He says he doesn't have a son.
-Why are you doing this?
-Doing what?
-Robbing a bank.
-But I mean, why do you need to steal? Couldn't you get a job?
-Get a job doing what? You gotta be a member of a union, no union card - no job. To join the union, you gotta get the job, but you don't get the job without the card.
-What about, ah, non-union occupations?
-Like what? Bank teller? What do they get paid - ... they pay one hundred thirty- five dollars and thirty-seven cents to start. I got a wife and kids. I can't live on that -- You want to live on that? What do you make a week?
-I'm here to talk to you, Sonny, not ...
-Wait a minute ... I'm talkin' to you. I'm askin' you a question ...
-The audience is interested in you, Sonny ... not me.
-Yeah! We're hot entertainment, right? You got me and Sal on TV ... we're entertainment you sell, right?
-You're news, Sonny ...
-How much you have to pay an entertainer to fill this slot?
-Newsman, not ...
-Okay, newsman. How much you make a week? You're not talkin'. You payin' me? What have you got for me? We're givin' you entertainment ... what are you givin' us?
-What do you want us to give you? You want to be paid for ...
-I don't want to be paid. I'm here with Sal and eight other people ... and we're dyin'! They're gonna blow our guts out, man! You're gonna see our brains onna sidewalk! How's that for all you shut-ins and housewives to look at! You gonna help, or you just put it on instead of AS THE WORLD TURNS? We're dyin' here! What have you
-You could give up.
-Oh yeah? Give up? You ever been in prison?
-Of course not ...
-This is Drake Bishop.
-<i>Mr. Bishop... this is Claremont Williams. I own the Williams Brothers armored car service.</i>
-What happened to my money, Mr. Williams? <b> INT. CLAREMONT WILLIAMS III BOND AGENCY -- NEXT </b> Claremont sits behind his desk with his phone to his ear.
-<i>Well... I think that these are the gentlemen who robbed us. I'm also a bail bondsman out of Los Angeles. I can track down and deliver these crooks to you... for a small finder's fee of course.</i>
-How much?
-And if you can't deliver them?
-This is Bishop.
-<i>The Bounty Hunters have arrived. They will drop off the money in exactly one hour.</i> <i>Where do you want to meet?</i>
-<i>Holy shit... this bitch is fierce.</i>
-Morning.
-<i>They can do subtitles.</i>
-Who the hell is that?
-What is it, Choco?
-I LOVE YOU, DOMINO.
-Alright. Time to ditch this thing. Did you take a look at the bathroom window?
-<i>I forgot.</i>
-Where are we going?
-Bail jumper's name is Cookie Kincaid. Nineteen years old. His mommie posted bail when he was arrested for allegedly partaking in a drive-by shooting in Hawthorne.
-<i>He killed two children.</i>
-Fella takes out two kids and has the audacity to not show up for trial.
-<i>We gotta bring him in.</i>
-Will you speak the fucking English language? The poor girl has no clue what you're talking about. The boy speaks English, you know. Reads, writes, I swear it. He does this when he's around girls. Thinks it's cute.
-Tell him it's not cute. Will you tell him, Domino!?
-Jesus Christ! What's that smell?
-<i>The children like to urinate in the balls.</i>
-Fella could get used to a life this ordinary.
-So what?
-I just charged $12.95 to our room for that movie. Now I'll never know how the story ends.
-Oh! And another thing. I am a liar. A pathological liar. There was no day in Danang, no multiple tours in Nam. Just lies to get laid, lies to get respect. Truth is... I'm scared shitless all the time.
-What about your toe?
-Anything to get the fuck out of dodge.
-Did it hurt?
-Promise me... you won't ever tell Domino.
-What?
-Hello?
-<i>Mr. Cigliuti?</i>
-Yes.
-<i>I'm calling from the Kappa Epsilon Gamma house at California University.</i>
-I'm so sorry to be bothering you in the middle of the night like this... but it's a bit of an emergency.
-<i>What is it?</i>
-Your son... and your nephew have been kidnapped by these crazy game show hosts from the Fox network. <b> INT. CIGLIUTI COMPOUND -- MASTER BEDROOM -- NEXT </b> Cigliuti sits up in bed.
-Why the hell are we delivering them out here? I can't even find any warrants in the system for these four.
-<i>The FBI was breathing down Lateesha's neck... and she assumed that they were onto our scam. So she set up some college kids to take the fall for the heist. They have been under FBI surveillance for the past 6 months.</i> <b> INT. CHEVY SUBURBAN </b> Claremont drives like a maniac.
-<i>What happened to them?</i>
-You're breaking up... I can't hear you.
-<i>Remove... ... the... right arm.</i>
-Okay.
-She's right... you lost your temper... and you started cursing like some ghetto skank. You lost all credibility right there!
-I've already formulated a plan.
-What?
-My armored car business. We just signed a new insurance policy in Nevada. There's a loophole.
-Where are you? <b> INT. CHEVY SUBURBAN -- NEXT </b> Claremont is behind the Wheel of a BLACK CHEVY SUBURBAN. He pulls into the Texaco parking lot.
-You motherfuckin' Tino. You fucked us so bad.
-Claremont, you're a chubby chaser.
-<i>Did you get all four?</i>
-Yep.
-We need hostages. Celebrity hostages. Just in case this gets ugly. <b> EXT. NEVADA DESERT -- LATER ON </b> The Cast Winnebago drives through the desert.
-Hello?
-Ms. Harvey... my name is Taryn Miles. I'm a criminal psychologist working for the FBI. I'm here to ask you a few questions.
-<i>The driver's name was Locus Fender. We know that he was in on the heist.</i> <b> INT. ARMORED CAR -- NEXT </b> LOCUS FENDER is behind the wheel of the armored car. His unshaven, disheveled appearance looks totally out of place in his security uniform. <b> INT. VEGAS SECURITY LOCKDOWN -- NIGHT </b> Taryn is now scrawling notes on a pad.
-Where is the money?
-I don't know.
-I think that you're lying. I think you know exactly where the money is.
-Is it true that you were hired to track down and capture the thieves... and then deliver them to Drake Bishop... owner of the Stratosphere Hotel & Casino?
-Yes.
-You then learned where the thieves had hidden the money... and at the instructions of your employer went to retrieve it yourself.
-He's a reality television producer. His name is Mark Weiss.
-Are you aware that Lateesha Rodriguez has been running a counterfeit driver's license racket?
-That's the rumor on the street.
-What was your business with Lateesha that day?
-<i>You drove Lateesha's daughter to school... then dropped her off at the DMV. Why?</i>
-<i>The bitch was bluffing. There were no dupe tapes. If there were... they'd have shown them to me by now.</i>
-Show me the tapes. I want to see them.
-Not yet. <b> INT. CAST WINNEBAGO -- NEXT </b> Alf pulls onto the 15 FREEWAY.
-<i>Now the bitch was getting personal.</i>
-Take us to Vegas. <b> EXT. DESERT ROAD -- DAY </b> The crew rides in the back of the Wanderer's truck toward Vegas. <b> INT. VEGAS SECURITY LOCKDOWN -- NIGHT </b> Domino stares at Taryn as she returns to the table.
-Do you want know the real reason why I became a bounty hunter?
-No. Please enlighten me.
-<i>That's my best friend. His name is Choco. He's always fancied me... but too shy to ever do anything about it.</i>
-Chi-Chi! CHI-CHI!
-Is that you, Domino?
-HE'S STILL ALIVE, EDNA!
-LOCUS! BABY... I'M HERE!
-Is that the decoder?
-<i>Either this was some kind of set up... or the First Ladies got scared... decided to pull out and cut their losses.</i>
-Cock-fuckers are gonna pay.
-<i>After dad passed on, Mum's agenda was to hit the town and find another husband with a boatload of cash.</i> <b> INT. LONDON APARTMENT -- EVENING </b> Sophie is dolled up for a night on the town... CLEAVAGE spilling out of her cocktail dress. Domino is feeding her pet GOLDFISH. "THUNDERBIRDS" plays on the television.
-Everything. It is a ghastly existence.
-Why must you fight... everything that is normal? You are blessed with such beauty. Life could be so easy... if only you allowed yourself to fit the mold.
-The mold? I am living among these crypto-fascist Orange County cunts... with daddy's BMW and the boob job... just waiting to implode.
-Crypto-fascist? Who talks like this?!
-I refuse to turn out like them. Twenty-one years old and they're already looking for a husband. Stupid fucking cunts with no self- esteem. They let the boys control their lives. Not me.
-Must you use that awful word?
-Cunt.
-Stop it.
-Cunt.
-I said stop it.
-So who is this <i>Choko?</i> Is he your new boyfriend?
-It's Choco. And he's not my boyfriend. He's a bounty hunter.
-<i>Whatever.</i> He's a criminal. And this Ed Martin character is a complete loser.
-God help us. God help us all.
-Don't fuck with us, Edna! There are at least three more limbs where that one came from!
-<i>My real father was an actor. He died when I was a little girl.</i>
-What the... <i>who is this bitch?</i> <b> EXT. HAWTHORNE COMMUNITY CENTER -- PARKING LOT -- NEXT </b> Ed and Choco exit the El Camino just as Domino retrieves her knife from the windshield. She grips it in her right hand... threatening them.
-You want to be a bounty hunter. Why does a pretty little thing like you want to be a bounty hunter?
-You can save that Pretty Woman shit. The name is Domino.
-Domino. Do you have a last name... Domino?
-So Ed. What did you do before you became a bounty hunter?
-Really? Did you play in a band?
-I... <i>love...</i> Pat Benatar.
-Yeah?! Well... I loved her too.
-Oh my God... you mean... the two of you dated?!
-How did you meet Choco?
-What the fuck is your problem? Bitch!! <b> INT. SOPHIE TROMAS MANSION -- KITCHEN -- DAY </b> Domino is loading her GUN at the kitchen table as Sophie serves breakfast. Domino wolfs it down.
-<i>I was asleep in mum's guest house.</i> <b> INT. SOPHIE THOMAS MANSION -- BEDROOM -- NEXT </b> Domino is asleep in bed. The TELEPHONE rings.
-Hello?
-Can you tell?
-Cool it, Choco.
-Everyone... please give Domino her space. Step back, please!
-Where are the bond certificates for the First Ladies?
-There are no bond certificates.
-What do you mean? Claremont didn't provide them?
-No. What's the big deal?
-Something is going down. Something bad.
-What did he say about the arm?
-Make us a pot of coffee, Edna. It's gonna be a long night. <b> EXT. FENDER COMPOUND -- MOMENTS LATER </b> Edna stands next to her MAIMED SON near the burning barrels as they watch the Winnebago drive off into the desert. Locus is sobbing... latching onto his mother's sweater.
-We are so fucked.
-Uhhh... I have no idea what you just said.
-Three tours? Isn't that... <i>twelve years?</i>
-Son, with the exception of Spring Break in Tijuana, have you ever ventured outside of California?
-Many times.
-Do you know where Danang is?
-Not really.
-We're late.
-They need to get the introduction on camera. Just play along, alright?
-Listen, dick-fuck. I had a good run while it lasted. Now I've got ten million in the bank. <i>I'll never have to work again for the rest of my life.</i>
-And he used to fuck a Playboy centerfold every night.
-We didn't sign on for this shit. Fuck! This shit is intense. I need to call my agent.
-Get Cynthia on the line. <i>They changed the fucking font.</i>
-Okay. Domino Harvey is here.
-This could break new ground in terms of traditional host models. It's self-reflexive reality television.
-Your theory is valid... <i>in theory.</i>
-We're covered on legal with that, right?
-Fast and or furious.
-But real. This is gritty. Like Cassavetes.
-This girl is going to be a star. She just tells it like it is.
-Where is Domino?
-You were good.
-Ain't nobody gonna call me a bitch without some payback.
-<i>Gotta strip/ Gotta give some lip/ Gotta make my tip/ But keep yo hands to yourself - Cuz you ain't touching these tits.</i>
-Just like Billy Ocean says. <i>When the going gets tough...</i>
-Meeka's white blood cell count is dropping fast.
-How you be?
-I be. I'm living large.
-You don't like Public Enemy? It's the dope shit.
-I like 'em, but you don't play anything else.
-I don't like anything else.
-Check this out. Y'know Sal's.
-Yeah, I know dat motherfucker.
-I'm trying to organize a boycott of Sal's pizza joint. Ya see what I'm saying?
-I almost had to yoke him this afternoon. Tell me, tell me, Radio Raheem, to turn my music down. Didn't even say please. Who the fuck he think he is? Don Corleone and shit.
-He makes all his money off us Black people and I don't see nuthin' but Italians all up in there, Sylvester Stallone and motherfuckers. Ya see what I'm saying, homeboy?
-Talk to me.
-We shouldn't buy a single slice, spend a single penny in that motherfucker till some people of color are put up in there.
-That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
-Ya back is got.
-My brother.
-Yo!
-Yes?
-You almost knocked me down. The word is "excuse me."
-Excuse me. I'm very sorry.
-I'll fuck you up quick two times.
-Who told you to step on my sneakers? Who told you to walk on my side of the block? Who told you to be in my neighborhood?
-I own a brownstone on this block.
-What do you want to live in a Black neighborhood for? Motherfuck gentrification.
-I'm gonna leave now.
-That's not even true. I just want a slice.
-Jade, you don't know this, but I'm organizing a boycott of Sal's Famous Pizzeria.
-What did he do this time?
-Y'know all those pictures he has hanging on the Wall of Fame?
-So?
-Every single one of those pictures is somebody Italian.
-And?
-And I--we--want some Black people up.
-Did you ask Sal?
-Buggin' Out, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but you can really direct your energies in a more useful way.
-So, in other words, you are not down.
-I'm down, but for a worthwhile cause.
-How much?
-You come in here at least three times a day. You a retard? A buck fifty.
-Extra cheese is two dollars. Y'know dat.
-Sal, that might be fine, you own this, but rarely do I see any Italian Americans eating in here. All I've ever seen is Black folks. So since we spend much money here, we do have some say.
-Don't come back, either.
-What did I tell ya 'bout dat noise?
-What did I tell ya 'bout dem pictures?
-What da fuck! Are you deaf?
-No, are you? We want some Black people up on the Wall of Fame.
-Why it gotta be about jungle music and Africa?
-Mookie.
-What?
-How come you ain't got no brothers up?
-Ask Sal.
-Buggin' Out, I gotta work here.
-I'm cool. I'm cool.
-You the man.
-You the man.
-No, you the man.
-It's so nice to see a family hanging out together.
-You a dumb-ass simple motherfucker. Where did you read that?
-As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted by the finest.
-Make it plain.
-It's been about a year.
-How long?
-No!
-What can you say?
-Squash it.
-The evil eye doesn't work on me.
-Mother Sister, you've been talkin' 'bout me the last eighteen years. What have I ever done to you?
-You're a drunk fool.
-Besides that. Da Mayor don't bother nobody. Nobody don't bother Da Mayor but you. Da Mayor just mind his business. I love everybody. I even love you.
-Hold your tongue. You don't have that much love.
-I didn't know you had such beautiful hair.
-Fool, there's a lot in this world you don't know.
-That was a foolish act, but it was brave. That chile owes you his life.
-I went from first to home on a bunt single, scored the winning run, the bottom of the ninth, two out, August 1, 1939, Snow Hill, Alabama. Maybe I should be heroic more often.
-Maybe you shouldn't. Don't get happy. This changes nothing between you and me. You did a good thing and Mother Sister wanted to thank you for it.
-I thank you.
-Good morning.
-Is it a good morning?
-Yes indeed. You almost got yourself killed last night.
-Where did you sleep?
-I didn't.
-I hope the block is still standing.
-Mookie.
-Gotta go.
-Doctor, this is Da Mayor talkin'.
-OK. OK.
-Doctor, always try to do the right thing.
-That's it?
-Eddie Lovell.
-How old are you?
-Ten.
-What makes Sammy run?
-My name is Eddie.
-What makes Sammy run?
-I said my name is Eddie Lovell.
-Relax, Eddie, I want you to go to the corner store. How much will it cost me?
-How would I know how much it's gonna cost if I don't know what I'm buying?
-Eddie, you're too smart for your own britches. Listen to me. How much do you want to run to the store for Da Mayor?
-Fifty cents.
-Don't you have enough sense not to bother people when they're sleeping?
-Wake up!
-Wake up? Saturday is the lone day I get to sleep late.
-It's gonna be hot today.
-Good! Leave me alone when I'm sleeping. I'm gonna get a lock on my door, to keep ya ass outta here.
-Don't ya love ya brother Mookie anymore? I loves ya, Jade.
-Do me a favor. Go to work.
-Jade.
-How come you're not at Sal's?
-Is this another one of your patented two-hour lunches?
-I just come home to take a quick shower.
-Sal's gonna be mad.
-Later for Sal. Y'know, sometimes I think you're more concerned with him than me.
-I think no such a thing. Sal pays you, you should work.
-Slavery days are over. My name ain't Kunta Kinte. Sis, I don't want to argue, stop pressing me.
-I just don't want you to lose the one job you've been able to keep, that's all. I'm carrying you as it is.
-Don't worry 'bout me. I always get paid.
-Yeah, then ya should take better care of your responsibilities.
-What responsibilities?
-Hurry up and get dressed.
-I'm coming.
-No.
-Yo, I'm gone.
-I'll see you out.
-Jade, I don't want you coming in here no mo'.
-Stop tripping.
-No, you're tripping. Don't come in Sal's. Alright, read my lips.
-What are you so worked up about?
-Over Sal, the way he talks and the way he looks at you.
-He's just being nice.
-Nice!
-He's completely innocent.
-Innocent!
-I didn't stutter. You heard me.
-You should see the way he looks at you. All Sal wants to do is hide the salami.
-You are too crude.
-Stop trying to play big brother. I'm a grown woman. You gotta lotta nerve. Mookie, you can hardly pay your rent and you're gonna tell me what to do. Come off it.
-One has nuthin' to do with the other.
-Oh, it doesn't, huh! You got your little 250 dollars a week plus tips...
-I'm getting paid...
-...peanuts.
-Pretty soon I'll be making a move.
-Jade, you're late.
-This might take some time.
-Tender-headed runs in my family. You tender-headed?
-Yeah, me too.
-That's why I don't fool with it. Only let you touch it...Ouch!
-Sorry, comb got caught.
-Be gentle, child. Mother Sister is an old woman.
-How are you holding up in this weather?
-I'll do.
-I don't know why you still haven't bought an air conditioner.
-You are too cruel to Da Mayor, it isn't right.
-Number One: I got some jive, late- rent-paying trifling Negroes in this house. Every year I keep threatening to sell it.
-And move to Long Island...
-And move to Long Island. Number Two: my ex-husband lost all my property, all my money in his scheme to build a Black business empire. Needless to say what happened, this house is it, all I got. I'm too through with yar people.
-Twenty "D" Duracells.
-Twenty "C" Duracells.
-D, not C.
-C Duracell.
-How many you say?
-Twenty! Motherfucker! Twenty!
-C'mon, don't be shy. Mmm, smells good. This is ya Love Daddy talkin' to ya, starvin' like Marvin. Say something, Mookie.
-Mister Señor Love Daddy, I'd like to dedicate the next record to my heart, Tina.
-Here ya are. Keep the change.
-That's right on time. This is my friend, Vito. His pops is Sal.
-WAKE UP!
-Fool, you're thirty cents away from a quarter. How you gonna get a boat?
-Don't worry about it.
-You're raggedy as a roach. You eat the holes out of donuts.
-I'll be back on my feet. Soon enough.
-Motherfucker wasn't saying shit.
-It's a fucking shame.
-Sweet Dick Willie.
-That's my name.
-Let it be broke.
-Can ya dig it?
-It's dug.
-It's Miller time. Let me go give these Koreans s'more business.
-ML?
-What?
-Why you gotta talk 'bout my moms?
-I didn't say nobody, I said you.
-Sweet Dick, I didn't mean it like that.
-ML stands for ML. That's it.
-Naw, that's some stupid shit. Now you know how I got that name.
-Korea man is OK. Let's leave him alone.
-Hey! What did I say?
-Who doesn't work? Don't start no shit, won't be no shit.
-Mookie, no cursing in the store.
-Mookie, if your friends can't behave, they're not welcome.
-Mookie, what took you so long? I got a business to run.
-Mookie, get offa da phone.
-Mookie! How is anybody gonna call in?
-Sal, can you do me a favor?
-Depends.
-Can you pay me now?
-Can't do.
-Sal, just this once, do me that solid.
-You know you don't get paid till we close tonight. We're still open.
-I would like to get paid now.
-Sal, I don't care if you fire me this exact minute, leave my sister alone.
-Mookie, I don't know what you're talking about, plus I don't want to hear it.
-Sal, just do me a favor, leave Jade alone.
-Yeah, do you know 'em?
-Sal, if you want me to deliver any faster, get me a jet rocket or something, cuz I can't run with pizzas, all the cheese ends up on one side and shit.
-I didn't say nuthin'. You must have a guilty conscience. What are you guilty of?
-I'm not guilty of nuthin'.
-You must be guilty of something or you would have never come in saying the things you said.
-C'mon, Sal.
-Whatdafuck do you want?
-Mookie, I always liked you. Not the smartest kid, but you're honest. Don't make me dislike you.
-Sal, I want my money.
-Don't even ask about your money. Your money wouldn't even pay for that window you smashed.
-Motherfuck a window, Radio Raheem is dead.
-You're right, a kid is dead, but Mook, this isn't the time.
-Fuck dat. The time is fuckin' now. Y'know I'm sorry 'bout Sal's Famous Pizzeria, but I gotta live, too. I gotta get paid.
-We both do.
-We all know you're gonna get over with the insurance money anyway! Ya know da deal.
-Do we now?
-Quit bullshitting.
-How much? How much do I owe you?
-Ya just got paid, so leave me the fuck alone.
-You only pay me two-fifty a week. I owe you fifty bucks.
-Keep it.
-You keep it.
-It's supposed to be even hotter today.
-You gonna open up another Sal's Famous Pizzeria?
-No. What are you gonna do?
-Make dat money. Get paid.
-Yeah!...I'm goin' to the beach for the first day in fifteen years. Gonna take the day off and go to the beach.
-I can dig it. It's gonna be HOT as a motherfucker.
-Mookie?
-Gotta go.
-Doctor, this is Sal talkin'.
-OK. OK.
-Doctor, always try to do the right thing.
-I know I haven't seen you in four days. I'm a working man.
-I work too, but I still make time.
-Tina, what do you want me to do?
-I want you to spend some time with me. I want you to try and make this relationship work. If not, I'd rather not be bothered.
-Alright. Alright. I'll be over there sometime today.
-When?
-Before I get off work.
-Bring some ice cream, I'm burning up. Do you love me?
-Delivery from Sal's Famous Pizzeria.
-What took you so long? Is it hot?
-Hot. Hot.
-Tina, you are too slick.
-How else was I going to get you here? I haven't seen you in a week.
-I've been working hard, getting paid.
-Where's the ice cream? The Häagen- Dazs butter pecan?
-Shit! I forgot.
-Your memory is really getting bad.
-And I really wanted some ice cream too.
-I can run out and get it.
-No! No! You won't come back either.
-I can't be staying long anyway.
-How long then?
-Long enough for us to do the nasty.
-That's out. No! It's too hot! You think I'm gonna let you get some, put on your clothes, then run outta here and never see you again in who knows when?
-A quickie is good every once in a blue moon.
-You a blue-moon fool.
-Then we'll do something else.
-What else?
-Trust me.
-Trust you? Because of trusting you we have a son. Remember your son?
-I'm gonna take off ya clothes.
-Mookie, I told you already it's too fucking hot to make love.
-Why you gotta curse?
-I'm sorry, but no rawness is jumping off tonight.
-Tina, you're sweating.
-Of course I'm sweating. I'm burning up. It's hot, moron, only a hundred degrees in here.
-It's cold.
-It's 'pose to be cold.
-Later for you.
-Meda. Meda.
-What?
-Feels good.
-Where are you going?
-To get my money.
-Mookie, you must think I'm stupid or something. You're gonna run outta here and I won't see your black ass for another week.
-You don't care about me and you definately don't care 'bout your son.
-Tina, I'll be right back.
-Be a man.
-Act like one then. Be a man.
-Later.
-Mookie, late again. How many times I gotta tell you?
-Just coolin'.
-Shaddup, Vito.
-Fuck dat shit. I deliver pizzas. That's what I get paid for.
-Pop, I don't believe this shit. We runnin' welfare or somethin'? Every day you give dat bum--
-Da Mayor ain't no bum.
-Give dat bum a dollar for sweeping our sidewalk. What do we pay Mookie for? He don't even work. I work harder than him and I'm your own son.
-You talk to 'em.
-Smack him back.
-What?
-You deaf or what?
-Who's your favorite basketball player?
-Magic Johnson.
-And not Larry Bird? Who's your favorite movie star?
-Shut up. The Boss! Bruuucce!!!!
-Pino, I think secretly that you wish you were Black. That's what I think. Vito, what do you say?
-Y'know, I've been listening and reading 'bout Farrakhan, ya didn't know that, did you?
-I didn't know you could read.
-Fuck you. Anyway, Minister Farrakhan always talks about the so-called "day" when the Black man will rise. "We will one day rule the earth as we did in our glorious past." You really believe that shit?
-It's e-vit-able.
-Keep dreaming.
-Fuck you, fuck pizza, and fuck Frank Sinatra, too.
-Dago, wop, garlic-breath, guinea, pizza-slinging, spaghetti-bending, Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio, nonsinging motherfucker.
-Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just got here. You sweep. I betcha Sal asked you first anyhow.
-Mister Señor Love Daddy is cool.
-Ya like him, huh?
-Yeah.
-Y'know, Vito, I know Pino is ya brother and shit, but the next time he hits ya, the next time he touches ya, you should "house him." Kick his ass.
-I don't know.
-If you don't make a stand, he's gonna be beating ya like a egg for the rest of your life.
-That's what you think?
-That's what I think.
-I'll do that.
-Pino, I work hard like everybody in here.
-Pino, no joke. C'mon, answer.
-Whaddup. Money?
-I was going to buy a slice.
-I'll be back after I make this delivery.
-That's the dope.
-I just copped them. Let me tell you the story of Right-Hand--Left- Hand--the tale of Good and Evil.
-I'm listening.
-Brother, Mookie, if I love you I love you, but if I hate you...
-I understand.
-I love you, my brother.
-See, Pop. That's just what I was talkin' about. Every single time you tell Pino to do something, he gives it to me.
-Get the broom.
-Me and you are gonna have a talk.
-Sez who?
-Fuck you and stay off the phone.
-Some are OK.
-I know this.
-I love you.
-I'm listening.
-Good. I want you to listen.
-Jesus Christ on the cross, I said I'm listening.
-Good. Vito, you trust that Mook too much. So does Pop.
-Mookie's OK.
-You listening to me?
-Stop busting my balls. I said I'm listening ten fucking times already.
-Mookie is not to be trusted. No Moulan Yan can be trusted. The first time you turn your back, boom, a knife right here. In the back.
-How do you know this?
-I know.
-You really think so?
-I know so. He, them, they're not to be trusted.
-Be on guard. Mookie has Pop conned already, so we have to look out for him.
-I like Mookie a lot.
-Pino, get a broom and sweep out front.
-Hey! Watch it.
-I didn't want to come to work anyway. I hate this freakin' place.
-Can you do better? I didn't think so. This is a respectable business. Nuthin' wrong with it. Get dat broom.
-Pino, relax, will ya.
-I should have Vito go with you all the time.
-C'mere. Don't get too friendly with da Mook.
-Sal's Famous Pizzeria, yeah, two large pizzas, pepperoni and anchovies, hold on... See, Pop, Mookie fucking talking on the phone and people are trying to call in orders. He's making us lose business.
-Mookie, you're fucking up.
-Turn it off.
-Pop, I think we should sell this place, get outta here while we're still ahead...and alive.
-Since when do you know what's best for us?
-Couldn't we sell this and open up a new one in our own neighborhood?
-Too many pizzerias already there.
-Then we could try something else.
-We don't know nuthin' else.
-I didn't think so.
-Pop, what else can I say? I don't wanna be here, they don't want us here. We should stay in our own neighborhood, stay in Bensonhurst.
-You're gonna be in the street with the rest of your homeboys.
-Pop, stop lying.
-Vito! Pino! Let's go.
-The both of youse, shaddup.
-Pop asked you.
-How ya doin', Mookie?
-Both of youse--shaddup. This is a place of business.
-Take it easy, Pop.
-Pop, I'm gonna go with Mookie.
-No, I'm not it.
-Yeah, you are. He touched you. You're "it" until you touch someone else.
-You're it.
-Yeah, we're closed. So go away.
-Oh my god, are you alright?
-But I came here to learn about America.
-Baby listen, there's nothing more American than not doing anything and getting away with it.
-Ting tao kuun jahn leeka leeka powww.
-She's saying... a beautiful swan...
-Sleeeeew sheek baw...
-Kan maaaaw Roy Orbison kin nah mah oh che.
-I don't get it. Why'd you make him a pirate?
-CHING CHONG, What happened to your beautiful Asian accent?
-Hi.
-Well I hope the carpet matches the drapes.
-Excuse me.
-In the new library there.
-Oh, yeah. I don't think they do. You're new here, right?
-Depends how you define 'new'...
-You're the kid who was home schooled.
-Yeah. How'd you know?
-I've been assigned to write an article about you for the school paper. It was either a feature on you or the new four-color ink pens at the student store.
-Four colors? Neato!
-Yeah, well, I'd much rather write an expose or a hard hitting investigative piece, but nothing really ever happens around here. But, I chose you and that's fine. I'm Jessica Matthews.
-Hey guys.
-Do you thill want to do an arwticle on me, Jethica?
-Tomorrow we go on a fee-eee-eee- wald twrip.
-HARRY!
-MS. HELLER said not to talk to you.
-That's because Ms. Heller doesn't want you to know this whole thing is a scam.
-A-ha! I had a feeling it was all a fake.
-You did?
-Yeah. Look at this polar bear. It hasn't moved in half an hour. And those Eskimos over there...I'm sure at least one of them is a mannequin.
-Oh Harry, you're so funny. Now I have something that's kind of delicate...
-Oh, you want to talk about your delicates?
-Are you trying to be funny? Or are you actually re--, re...special
-We're all special. Everyone Lloyd and I chose for the class is special.
-Excuse me?
-Come over around seven.
-O'clock?
-Yeah...
-Wipe your feet. My parents are totally anal.
-Ooh gross.
-Would you like something to drink?
-Okay, there's a lot for us to go over, so it may get hard for you.
-Hard for me? Hard for me? Hard for me? Hard for me? You had questions?
-I checked with the school board, she's not an accredited teacher.
-That's okay. Lloyd's really the one teaching the class.
-LLOYD? What about Ms. Heller?
-She says that she's got more important things to do now that the new mall opened.
-Sit down, I have something to tell you.
-I'm fine.
-What? Well now I'm in a position where I may just heed your help.
-Po, po, position...? Hey, here's thought, have you a bathroom?
-Just down the hall.
-HARRY? Are you okay?
-Are you kidding? I couldn't be more okay.
-My mom wants to know if you can stay for dinner.
-Are you kidding? I'll be down in a "I-crapped-my-pants."
-What?
-What are you wearing?
-Okay.
-Why didn't you tell us your boyfriend was Principal Collins?
-Hey look, it's our teacher.
-Uh... not a great first impression... Dinner's ready.
-The name's Walter.
-We've got some margarine too if you'd like to scoop it out of the tub.
-No, I'm fine thanks.
-Well save room for Mrs. Matthews famous baked brisket.
-Is it true what you said to Captain Rob?
-Yes, Harry. I can't home school you anymore. So maybe it's time to make some new friends, some friends your own age...
-Wow, a treasure map! What's the treasure?
-It could be anything. You're going to discover a whole new world when you get to school.
-Wow just like Marco Polo.
-I don't follow.
-You're going to be just fine, HARRY.
-I know I am, Mom.
-Here's your lunch. And an apple and banana for extra energy.
-Mom, you know that never works.
-Oh, Harry, I'm so proud of you making a real friend.
-Is it okay if he spends the night?
-Then a sleep-over is okay by me. Okay boys, eat up.
-Oh Lloyd, you gotta taste my Mom's pie!
-You could've saved that for the tooth fairy!
-That's stupid! I happen to know my mom is the tooth fairy.
-Your mom is the tooth fairy? That is so cool!
-Yeah, she must do all the flying around when I'm asleep. HARRY Dunne.
-No thanks, not hungry. Harry Dunne. Why does that name not sound familiar?
-Probably because we've never met.
-No, that's not it. Anyway - LLOYD Christmas.
-Here I am bragging my Mom is the tooth fairy, and I'm talking to Santa's kid!
-I haven't seen you around here before.
-Home school. Til today.
-Home school? What's that?
-I go to school where I live.
-I think it's just over there.
-Is that what I think it is?
-No, it's a treasure map.
-Cool.
-My mom says the treasure's somewhere in the school.
-I don't know. I'm pretty familiar with the school and I've never seen that "X". But... I do know something.
-What?
-Yeah, dangerous cult. Don't make eye contact or they might talk to you.
-Don't we want them to talk to us?
-No no no no no.
-Why not?
-Well, besides cooties and other medical reasons, they're not in the cool crowd. Which I am, and you want to be. Know what I mean?
-Oh my gosh, I don't think she's even wearing underwear!
-How nerdy is that? I'm wearing two pairs right now.
-You know Harry, this is my favorite time of day.
-Yeah, it's nice. And your friend TURK is totally great.
-God, she's beautiful. My wiener's all tingly.
-Who's Principal Collins?
-The principal.
-You know, you're the first person I've brought here.
-Oh, is this your special place?
-No, I just usually eat my lunch on the crapper. Saves time. Out with the old, in with the new.
-Can we eat there tomorrow?
-Sure, but first we have to find kids special, needy and classy enough to be in Special Needs.
-H A R R Y...
-The second R is silent.
-One day they'll find a cure.
-We're part of a special class taught by the lunch lady, er, I mean Ms. Heller. Maybe you'd like to join us, it doesn't require any walking.
-...oh also, we even have a slogan. 'S' and 'P' stands for 'Special People', which is the kind of kids we are. 'A' and 'Z' is for 'Aren't Zeros' because that is less then one, and when you put it all together it spells...
-Wow! It's a half-boy, half-horse. The boys walk up to him, impressed.
-Maybe we should ask Jessica to join the class.
-Got any crazy eights?
-Oh, yeah. Well I almost always beat Captain Rob.
-Who's Captain Rob?
-Just a guy I hang out with.
-I know the type. Lives in the basement, smells like a sponge...
-No! Captain Rob is seven feet tall, wears an eye patch, got a hook for a hand...
-Sounds like a pirate.
-What? No no. He's got a parrot on his shoulder, buries treasure...
-Yeah, he's a pirate.
-I don't think so. This guy drinks rum from a barrel, says "yo ho ho" has a peg leg...
-Peg leg?
-Yeah, go-cart accident.
-Exactly! A pirate!
-If he heard you talking like that he'd make you walk the plank. Three, two, one. Now it's your turn, spin.
-Whoa. What was that?
-What?
-Your mom made a move on me.
-She did not.
-Who knows? Maybe someday I'll be your new daddy.
-LLOYD, she's my mom.
-I can't help my heart. And when I'm your dad, you'll have to do as I say.
-Will not.
-Don't use that tone with me, young man.
-Shut up!
-I will stop this car right now.
-You're not my real dad.
-You take that back!
-Shut Up! Buttlick!
-Where did you learn that word?
-I learned it from listening to you! I hate you!
-That would be me, sir. The wife made stew last night.
-Collins is a great man!
-HARRY.
-You look familiar. Did I have your brother?
-No.
-What's with horse-boy, now he's a bright shiny sun?
-...and who was Benjamin Franklin again?
-The pilgrim who used penicillin to kill Godzilla.
-I didn't know that.
-Welcome to public school, my friend.
-Hey, teach, how'd you get so smart?
-When you live in the basement of the school, you breathe in a lot of chalk dust. It writes out all the answers on your brain. Now how about a slushee?
-A. Slushee. Don't tell me. Abraham Slushee. Third president of the United States.
-Nice jugs.
-You're it.
-You're it.
-Can he do that?
-These are really cold, huh?
-Owww... refreshing.
-I don't know. Owwww.
-My head is suddenly killing me. Maybe it's from all the learning today.
-Owww.
-There she goes, now wearing nothing but her underwear.
-LLOYD, where've you been? I've been waiting forever. I'm so embarrassed.
-Sorry. Why are you dressed like a Queen!?
-...cause you said...
-HARRY, I said don't 'dress like a Queen'!
-Oh... that makes much more sense. I had a heck of time getting these drapes from my mom. You don't want to know where I put the cord.
-According to the map, we're just about at school.
-What?
-Our own special bus.
-How do you know it's for us?
-Nope. I was right.
-Uh oh. Captain Rob's always been my partner.
-Sucks for you.
-Who's your partner?
-I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
-Well... Uh...maybe... jeez, how can I say this... you and I could...perhaps ...maybe...uh... partner up?
-You and me? Dream on, desperado.
-Oh. Sorry. You're right, field trip partner is a big commitment.
-That's a cow, Harry.
-Sorry about that Harry, first time I've brought a friend up there. You okay?
-Who cares? Chicks are for fags.
-I think she wants me to come over to put me into the right position to check out her delicates, what ever that means.
-Oh yeah, buddy, you're gonna get "some".
-Some what?
-You know... She's gonna be all over you like a barrel of monkeys, with her tight shirt and short skirt... Eeeww, it's so faggy I can't even talk about it.
-Come on, Lloyd. You must know someone I can talk to.
-Sure I do. On one condition.
-You can't marry my mom.
-It's really not up to you, Harry. But we just want you to feel like you're part of the decision.
-Shut up!
-Oh hey Lloyd, why are you here?
-Just wanted to see how your doing.
-I kinda screwed things up.
-I'm sure you're overreacting.
-I don't think so.
-You're always your harshest critic.
-She wants me to stay for dinner, I don't know what to say to her.
-Okay, I saw this in a movie once. Open the dining room window and follow my lead. Say what I say.
-HARRY, can you hear me?
-You have beautiful eyes.
-Hey, where did you come from?
-Do you want me to pet your head?
-I bet you want your head scratched.
-Don't snap at me like that. You're lucky I don't punch you right in the face.
-Now what are you staring at, you ugly monkey?
-Sure, I like a woman with some meat on her bones.
-LLOYD, what are you doing? That's JESSICA and... my mom.
-HARRY, this is my fantasy! I suggest you leave - before I imagine something horrible.
-But-
-HARRY!
-HARRY! I found the treasure!
-Go away, assface.
-Did you hear what I said? The treasure! Like on your map!
-Yeah, right. Why don't you show it to your "girlfriend"?
-JESSICA and I are through. I couldn't stand being with her knowing you liked her. It wasn't worth our friendship. Oh, and she also has a boyfriend.
-Do you hear something, Captain Rob?
-Captain Rob came back?
-Yeah, he does sound like a rat fink.
-Hey, there's no reason to use that kind of language!
-Good one, Captain Rob. He does look like a you-know-what.
-HARRY, would you like to share with the rest of us what's so funny?
-No one knows?
-Me, me, me!
-By the way, did Captain Rob mention how I beat the crap out of him this afternoon?
-No. What happened?
-A raft.
-A blimp.
-George Washington!
-Who?
-Wow, we built a whole float in one afternoon. And now the reward.
-If you have to ask, you don't know.
-Yeah, that's why I asked.
-You certainly did.
-I know I did.
-You're it.
-Am not.
-Are, too.
-It's okay. I want the rush.
-Hey, it's Jessica.
-PRINCIPAL COLLINS is her boyfriend!
-No wonder we both struck out with her. Who can compete with the sexual power of the man who occupies the highest office in the land?
-He's like the Pope. Like we're gonna snake a girl away from the Pope.
-Cute puppy.
-Hey, look. Ice cream.
-You found my treasure? Why didn't you tell me.
-Three words. I did. But you were all mad at me and wouldn't listen.
-Well, I'm listening now.
-You know Lloyd, the real treasure is our friendship.
-How true. But I still feel I deserve more than you do of this treasure. I mean, I found it.
-But my mom gave me the map.
-I lugged it all over town!
-I made the polar bear pants.
-But I ate your Mom's pie.
-I... found that rock.
-Enough! Look what this cursed chest is doing to us.
-I have no idea - it's full of files and documents and tapes.
-Hey Lloyd. This looks like another one of your mix tapes.
-That makes total sense. The treasure chest was in his office. Which means Principal Collins is a pirate! I'm surprised Captain Rob never mentioned him.
-What was it Jessica wanted us to do with this chest again?
-Something about showing the world what Principal Collins has done.
-What? What did we do?
-We never thanked him for giving us our Special Needs class.
-That's what Jessica was talking about!
-She wants us to show the world what a great guy Principal Collins is.
-A float!
-HARRY, we found the real thing to be thankful for. Screw George Washington!
-Ready Lloyd?
-Wait, wait!
-HARRY, are we gonna build this thing or not?
-Guys, this is much better.
-Oh my god. Can you believe your ears?
-Yeah! No more clicks and whistles! Now she speaks perfect English!
-Start the tape, Lloyd.
-Oh, good. There's Jessica.
-Hey there goes Principal Collins!
-He's so modest. Probably embarrassed by all the attention.
-Oh my God! She's two-timing PRINCIPAL COLLINS!
-Ya know Harry, I think this whole experience has soured me on women.
-Yeah, we should never let a woman come between us again.
-Hold up. First, we have to decide who gets who, remember? No more competition?
-Right.
-The one on the left.
-Damn! What are the odds?
-What?
-She's one of a kind.
-Try one in a million!
-You take her.
-Sorry, Charlie.
-Beats me. It's Jessica's Dad - she said he's really anal.
-That's gross.
-MS. HELLER, mind if I tag along on your field trip? I'm thinking of doing a story on your special needs class.
-I'm not interested. Not after the smear story you did on my chicken sushi.
-Well, when 200 students are hospitalized with stomach cramps I think it's newsworthy.
-Nevertheless, you could have mentioned the sauce. Well, I see you have a camera.
-So can I come along?
-Are you wearing a coconut bra?
-Oh, you're good.
-Why are you teaching Special Needs? You're the lunch lady.
-Dietician! This interview is over. You can have the camera back tomorrow. Come by the classroom. Heller heads off.
-I thought I told you to get lost.
-Look Ms. Heller, there's something fishy here, and I don't think it's Friday's special.
-You had some questions.
-Last year Toby was in A.P. English. And Lewis won the Science Fair. What are they doing in Special Needs?
-Poor question. Too wordy. A good question gets right to the point. Example, where's my chest?
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-My parents are going to wonder where I am.
-So what did you say to my parents on the phone?
-I'm going to ask you one last time and if I don't get an answer, I don't even want to think about the consequences which would be frightening to say the least. Where's my chest, Jessica?
-Well, what have we here? It appears be a tape.
-That's not your tape.
-Then where did you get this not my tape.
-THAT'S NOT YOUR TAPE.
-TURK, leave him alone.
-TURK, what are you doing here?
-Special Needs class.
-Being a jerk doesn't make you special.
-You're just jealous.
-Hey, Turk rescued you from the nerd. You're in!
-HARRY, I heard Collins has you in some kind of special class.
-If dou're trying to get in, dou're doo late.
-Why ith dat newth?
-Yes, what?
-Well I was born in St. Louis.
-What are you doing here?
-Checking up on my friend, Harry.
-What?
-You know, "some". The fag stuff.
-HARRY and I have been talking about school. In fact, I want to ask you something.
-Where'd that come from? He holds up a giant key chain.
-Come on, I live with the janitor. I have a key to every room in the school.
-So could you get us into the principal's office?
-So, when can we do it?
-Oh, baby, you're the bestest.
-Well, something stinks.
-Maybe it's this mix tape I made you. Or maybe these flowers. He gives Jessica the flowers and tape.
-Uh, thanks. God I'm so excited! So, are you ready to take me to the principal's office? He whips out the key, she takes it.
-What are you doing?
-I'm so close I can feel it.
-Me too. I'm almost there.
-That's it. I'm done.
-That was fast. Well, did you at least enjoy it?
-No, it was a complete waste of time.
-That's my boyfriend.
-Boyfriend? What about all that talk about riding my waxer?
-HARRY! Lloyd! You guys are a mess.
-... If I may quote the twentieth century poet - Joe Piscahpo: You look Marvelous...
-LLOYD, when we were in Principal Collins's office, did you see any kind of chest?
-Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I can take care of myself and I'm getting the story every high school reporter dreams of.
-He's going to be in jail for a long time.
-Well I need to get a job and you're telling me that if I join up - I can really come and go whenever I want?
-Do I know you?
-Duh. I'm in your class at school.
-Oh my God, it's really you. You're HARRY's friend, right?
-I don't know if you'd call us "friends"...
-You really are a pirate.
-Can you believe it?
-So I'm an "arrrrrs-hole", eh Captain Rob?
-Hello, little orphan boy. What happened to you?
-What? It's nothing, the cast comes off in six weeks.
-How much homework is there?
-That's the downside. There is none.
-Wait a minute. I can spend the whole year in a class taught by the lunch lady? Can I bring my girlfriend?
-Sure.
-Go in there and get us two slushees.
-Okay.
-Do we have a deal?
-Yeah, deal. Give me the two dollars.
-Ha! I said "doll-hairs." Psych! But a deal's a deal, my friend. In you go.
-Fine. Give me the doll hairs.
-Thanks for the grub, Mrs. D. Where's Mr. D?
-He passed away three years ago.
-Well he missed a great pot of stew!
-It was meatloaf. You just put everything in your soup.
-Hey you two. Lights out.
-Mrs. D! I was hoping you'd show up.
-Oh honey, I wouldn't miss this for the world.
-Have you got what I want?
-You know I do!
-How was that?
-Senior year. My little boy. Who woulda thunk it? You're a good kid, Lloyd. I don't say it enough, but I'm proud of you son.
-LLOYD, may I see you a minute?
-What are you crazy kids doing in my tool shed?
-We're not crazy. We're "special". PRINCIPAL COLLINS wants us to have our own classroom!
-My boy's special, well how about that. I knew you were different.
-So I guess you'll need a new spot for your moonshine.
-Your assignment is to pick the class. Find some other students just as special as you.
-Will that be on the midterm?
-Sorry, Ms. Heller. I think they're used to me teaching.
-That's not bad. How about a float of George Washington crossing the Delaware?
-Obviously.
-Let's go Margie. The museum ain't going to teach itself.
-Looking for a scoop, huh? I'll give you a scoop... of short bus. Lose her!
-Loser... oh yeah he was a loser alright. A big loser.
-What?
-He was a big loser! What are you deaf!?
-That's great, now make a left, then straight!
-Left here! Left!
-Ha! Too big to make the turn!
-I think you did it.
-Damn right I did it. Went back and set the house on fire, his little floozy testified in court - and I ended up doing ten years at Rikers, got my teeth knocked out by Mike the Dyke.
-I'm not sure if I can do this.
-Sure you can. We gotta nail this guy. You'll be fine.
-Collins can be a pretty crafty guy, what do I do if he smells the trap.
-I don't think he'll smell anything - just make sure he takes the check. I've been through this a hundred times.
-Well you know Detective, he's expecting 'Moffit' to be someone who has... certain... well...
-I am strong!
-I can turn on all the faucets in my house. Even the hose.
-... and, Principal Collins, you'll be pleased to know that this year Wednesdays are "South of the Border" days. We'll serve a spicy tuna tamale along with a cheese quesadilla.
-God, I've missed you.
-You know honey, I've finally figured out a way of bilking enough money from the school to get us that condo in Waikiki.
-How baby-cakes? You've done it all.
-It's the big potato.
-Anyway, the state is giving a hundred thousand dollars in his name to every school that has a Special Needs class.
-Oh, this is fantastic. So all we have to do is kill this Moffit guy and we get all the money!
-No. No. That's not it. We don't kill him. We don't kill anybody. But I like the way you're thinking. You're focused and you're trying to follow. No, what we need to do is start a fake Special Needs class.
-We start our own class?
-You said "aloha" twice.
-Aloha means hello and goodbye.
-Times two.
-To take a picture for Superintendent Zimmer?
-So far so good. We'll need more pictures. Why don't you take them on a field trip tomorrow.
-And...?
-And, take some more pictures.
-Wow, you are smart.
-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-Guess what"s under these coconuts.
-What?
-It's a surprise.
-Well I've got a little surprise for you.
-You got the Extender?
-No. No. I heard from Superintendent ZIMMER this morning and evidently he's so impressed with our Special Needs class, he's bringing Richard MOFFIT himself to the Thanksgiving Day parade- check in hand.
-So what do you keep in there?
-Oh, things. Photos. Tapes. I tape everything that goes on in this office.
-Everything?
-Oh, just like the President.
-Baby, I'm going to spend the morning at the mall. You know, shop for Waikiki. Honey, what are you looking for?
-The chest! The chest that I put my papers in.
-What papers?
-The documents. The photos! The tapes! The evidence.
-The evidence of what?
-Where is it?
-I don't know where it is. It's not here. It's been stolen.
-Wait a minute, I think I know who stole it.
-It was Jessica. That girl who tried to follow me on the field trip.
-JESSICA. Are you sure?
-She's been snooping around a lot, asking questions.
-Okay, I'll take care of Jessica.
-Are you going to kill her?
-So the chest is still out there somewhere.
-Yes. So as soon as Zimmer shows up, we'll get our check and blow this pop stand before anyone finds out anything.
-I sold all the wind instruments. Hawaiian Air, business class. And you like that new fur coat?
-Love it!
-This is horse?
-My Lord!
-The Atreides will be leaving Caladan soon, Baron, and I have here your answer from Duke Leto.
-What does Leto say, Piter?
-He wishes to inform you that Vendetta -- as he puts it, using the ancient tongue, the art of Kanly -- is still alive. He does not wish to meet or speak with you.
-It was Feyd? It was Feyd! Where is the ducal signet ring? I must have his ring.
-The ring?... he was brought to us as is, Baron. I...
-So you are Dr. Kynes, the Imperial Ecologist?
-I prefer the more ancient term, planetologist... Noble Born.
-I understand we have you to thank for these stillsuits, Doctor.
-My thanks.
-What happens now?
-What's that you're saying?
-A Third Stage Guild Navigator will be here within minutes!
-We felt his presence.
-I shall want telepathy during his visit and a report when we're finished.
-Their minds are so.... They move in strange directions....
-Yes?
-Forced spice evolution of humans changes many things.... I must sit close to him.
-He will not permit anyone but me to see him. You must be outside this room.... Do what you can.
-Yes, my Lord.
-We have just folded space from Ix...
-Yes?... How was your journey?
-Many machines on Ix... new machines.
-I see two Great Houses -- House Atreides, House Harkonnen -- feuding... I see you behind it.
-You must share with us. -- EMPEROR The Atreides house is building a secret army!... using a technique unknown to us... a technique involving sound. The Duke is becoming more popular in the Landsraad... he could threaten me.... I have ordered House Atreides to occupy Arrakis to mine the spice... thus replacing their enemies the Harkonnens.... House Atreides will not refuse because of the
-So the Harkonnens will rid you of House Atreides...
-Can you hear me?... If this visit has anything to do with spice... -- The Guild Navigator shudders and swishes quite violently in his tank.
-I can assure you...
-So, this is Leto the Just...
-I hope I made myself clear. You may call him "The Duke," "My lord," or "Sire." And there is a more ancient term you might keep in mind -- "Noble Born."
-The Duke is to be addresses as... -- Kynes comes forward and adjusts the Duke's suit, checking seals and pulling on straps.
-Basically...
-Yes, Sire.
-Dust cloud ahead, Sire.
-No music. I'm packing this for the crossing. Shield practice.
-Shield practice? Gurney... we had practice -- this morning..... I'm not in the mood.
-Not in the mood?! Mood's a thing for cattle and love play... not fighting.
-I'm sorry Gurney.
-What's gotten into Gurney? He's not faking. Paul presses forward and the fight moves quickly around the room. The smell of ozone grows stronger as the shields hit and SPARK off one another. Paul directs a parry downwards, turns, and leads Gurney against the table, plunging at just the right moment to pin Gurney against the table top with his blade right at Gurney's
-Is this what you seek?
-We'd have joined each other in death. However, you did seem to finally get the "mood".
-Would you really have drawn my blood?
-Things have been so serious here lately.
-You've no need of your weapons with me Gurney Halleck.
-Paul!! Paul!!
-Don't you trust your own eyes.
-Gurney... I see Thufir Hawat among the captives. Let him stand free.
-My Lord?
-This is a Harkonnen animal. Let me, please, my Lord.
-Perhaps these are the ones Mapes told us of.
-Are you trained in the ways of the desert?
-No, but many consider my training valuable.
-Stop! Get back!! She has the weirding way. Why didn't you tell us! Great gods... if you can do this to the strongest of us you're worth ten times your weight of water. As a leader of my people I give you my bond: teach us this weirding way and you both shall have sanctuary. Your water shall mingle with our water.
-Sayyadina. Our Reverend Mother tells me she is too old... She has been calling through space and time for you to come and let her rest. She asks that you pass within.
-They want me to take the Water of Life... the Truthsayer drug... so dangerous, yet... we must move swiftly if we're to secure our place among these Fremen. I will try to pass within.
-Death may be the result.... Are you sure?
-You know the ancient tongues?
-I know the Bhotani Jib and Chakobsa, all the hunting languages.
-As the legend says.
-Do you know this my lady?
-It could only be one thing.... It's a crysknife.
-Say it not lightly... Do you know its meaning?
-Maker?... Maker is the key word... the tooth of the worm? That was close... Did you think that I, knowing the mysteries of the Great Mother, would not know the maker?
-Paul, this is the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam. She is going to... observe you... Please... -- REVEREND MOTHER Jessica, you know it must be done. I enjoin you to stand guard at the door and practice the meditation of peace.
-Your Reverence.
-What does she fear? What about my Father?
-Don't touch my mother...
-Remove her gag!
-I can't maintain any altitude... we'll never reach the safety of rock. Maybe that small rock.
-Where are we do you think?
-A million deaths are not enough for Yueh...
-Listen to me!... you wanted to know about my dreams... and I've just had a waking dream... do you know why?... -- JESSICA Calm yourself/
-The spice! It's in everything here. The air, the soil, the food... It's like the Truthsayer drug..... It's a poison!!!! You knew the spice would change me. But thanks to your teachings it's changed my consciousness. I can see it... I can see it.
-Is he....?
-You carry my unborn sister in your womb!
-He knows.
-It's further than I thought... a worm is sure to come.... I'll plant a thumper, that should divert it. -- Paul moves off into the shadows. Suddenly, Jessica SEES a burst of LIGHTNING illuminate the mountain of rock in the distant and the vast dunes before them.
-Remember... walk without rhythm and we won't attract a worm... it'll go to the thumper.
-Run!
-Cinnamon... the spice! Do you smell it?
-Yes...
-What's happened?... Why did it leave?
-Man-carved steps.
-Stop him yourself.
-Are you a Fremen?
-I am a servant of the His Majesty the Emperor. I have served His Majesty on Arrakis long enough for my eyes to change.
-You've worn a stillsuit before?
-No.
-Your suit is fitted desert fashion. Who told you how to do that?
-No one. It... seemed the proper way.
-Will we see a worm?
-Where there is spice and spice mining there are always worms.
-Always?
-Always.
-Why do they come?
-Spice!... pure un-refined spice!
-Liet?
-You have strength... real strength... You shall be known as Usul, which is the strength of the base of the pillar. This is your secret name in our troop. But you must choose the name of manhood which we will call you openly.
-What do you call the mouse shadow in the second moon?
-We call that one Muad'dib.
-Could I be known as Paul Muad'dib?
-Water on Arrakis!!! I have seen this place in a dream. A treasure.
-The Water of Life.
-My own name is a killing word. Will it be a healing word as well?
-We surprised a band of smugglers.
-Long live the fighters!
-What's in the box?
-The Voice again.
-I hold at your neck the gom jabbar. Don't pull away or you'll feel that poison. A Duke's son must know about many poisons -- this one kills only animals.
-Are you suggesting a Duke's son is an animal?
-Let us say I suggest you may be human. Your awareness may be powerful enough to control your instincts. Your instincts will be to remove your hand from the box. If you do so you will die. You will feel an itching -- there... see? Now the itching becomes burning... heat, upon heat, upon heat.
-It burns.
-SILENCE... SILENCE.
-I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear... I will permit it to pass over me and through me. -- The Reverend Mother moves her face up to his. Her ancient face with its metal teeth gleaming inches away breathes hotly. She is smiling.
-THE PAIN!
-Pain by nerve induction... A human can resist any pain. Our test is crisis and observation.
-Your mother wants you to tell me about your dreams. I only want to know one thing.... Do they come true?
-Not all of them... I know which ones will.
-Perhaps you are the Kwisatz Haderach.
-What is it?
-The person who can be many places at once... the one who bridges space and time.... He will look where we cannot.
-Where?
-Do you know of the Water of Life?... the Truthsayer drug?
-I have heard of it. -- REVEREND MOTHER It is very dangerous... very painful. The Bene Gesserit sisterhood drink it to see within.... There is a place terrifying to us... to women. It is said a man will come... the Kwisatz Haderach... he will go where we cannot... Many men have tried...
-Did they try and fail?
-I sense your teachings in him. Ignore the regular order of training. His safety requires The Voice.
-Well he isn't... and he won't die... Tell me he won't die!
-What can be done has been done.
-... Many men have tried.
-Did they try and fail?
-Don't try your powers on me. Try looking into that place where you dare not look. You'll find me there staring back at you!! You Bene Gesserit have waited ninety generations to produce the one person your schemes required. Here I stand. But... I will never be yours.
-You mustn't speak of...
-I heard you, Dr. Yueh and Gurney coming down the hall.
-Those sounds could be imitated.
-Yes. Perhaps he would at that.
-Many dangers exist on Arrakis. For one, we know the Harkonnens would not have given up their CHOAM company contract so easily.
-Now remember... the first step in avoiding a trap is knowing of its existence.
-I know. But if it is a trap then why are we going?
-Greetings. I am the Count.
-Say, that's a funny place to sleep.
-It is my home.
-Uh, beg to differ.
-"Beg to differ?!" Hey, I'm talkin' about my duplex in Burbank!
-Mr. <u>Lugosi</u>! It is an unparalleled privilege to meet you. Allow me to introduce myself... I am CRISWELL!
-It's a pleasure...
-Bring me two more Beefeater martinis. Eddie will have another whiskey, Dagmar's a Rum-and-coke, Moustapha and King are chablis -- hey Bela, would you like a wine?
-So <u>you</u> sleep in coffins?!
-Yes. There is nothing more comfortable.
-I can't believe this! <u>I</u> sleep in coffins!
-No.
-Eddie, where are we? We passed that carwash twenty minutes ago.
-Excuse me, Mr. Lugosi??
-I told you, I don't want any of your goddamn coffins.
-No. I don't work here.
-Who are you? What do you want?
-I don't want anything. I'm just a really big, big fan. I've seen all your movies.
-Why were you buying a coffin?
-Because I'm planning on dying soon.
-Really?
-You know, I saw you perform "Dracula." In Poughkeepsie, in 1938.
-Eh, that was a terrible production. Renfield was a drunk!
-I thought it was great. You were much scarier in real life than you were in the movie.
-Thank you.
-I waited to get your autograph, but you never came outside.
-Oh, there's my bus. Shit, where's my transfer?!
-Don't you bave a car?
-Boy, Mr. Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life. When is your next picture coming out?
-I have no next picture.
-Ah, you gotta be jokin'! A great man like you... I'll bet you have dozens of 'em lined up.
-But you're a big star!
-They don't want the classic horror films anymore. Today, it's all giant bugs, giant spiders, giant grasshoppers -- who would believe such nonsense!
-The old ones were much spookier. They had castles, full moons...
-They were <u>mythic</u>. They had a poetry to them. And you know what else? The women prefer the traditional monsters.
-The <u>women</u>?
-The pure horror, it both repels and attracts them. Because in their collective unconsciousness, they have the agony of childbirth. The blood. The blood is horror.
-I never thought of that.
-Shh! I'm coming! I will feed you!
-Well... I guess I should go. Perhaps we could get together again?
-Ugh! I hate the way she interrupts the pictures. She doesn't show 'em the proper respect.
-Vampira! You will come under my spell! You will be my slave of love.
-Hey Bela, how do you do that?
-I am getting tired. I need to take my medicine.
-Do you want me to get it for you?
-Are you sure this is okay?
-Eddie, you got a new movie for me?!
-Eddie, what kind of movie is this?
-Well, It's about how people have two personalities. The side they show to the world, and then the secret person they hide inside.
-Ehh, your part's a little different. You're like the God that looks down on all the characters, and oversees everything.
-I don't understand.
-Well... you control everyone's fate. You're like the puppetmaster.
-Ah, so I pull the strings!
-Bela! It's so great to see you! And eight o'clock on the dot. Right on time!
-I am always on time.
-Of course! Well, we got a big day planned for you... First, we're gonna start off a little easy, with you in that armchair over there. Then, once you're up to speed and cooking, we'll reset and bring out the laboratory equipment --
-Uh, Eddie, do you have my money?
-You're right, Bela. Now Dracula, <u>that's</u> a part that takes acting.
-Look, you seem a little agitated. Do you maybe wanna take a little break, go for a nice walk... and then we'll come back and shoot the scene?
-How 'bout a western? People love westerns.
-But, I don't like horses. Do I have to get on one?
-Eh, forget it. What else is big? Teenagers! Jailbait pics! Yeah... You got the juvenile delinquent, his girlfriend from the wrong side of the tracks --
-Who do I play?
-Uh, a cop. NO! You play the father. He's <u>angry</u>! He doesn't like seeing his son -- no -- he doesn't like seeing his <u>daughter</u> behave this way!
-Sure. Romance, that's great! To engineer your comeback, we're gonna need a whole slate of pictures. Once "Glen Or Glenda" takes off, we'll slam you into one, then another, then another!
-That's good. I could use the money.
-But we need to start off with a bang! Something we <u>know</u> the audience will want to see. Mmm. What was your biggest hit?
-Hmm... my biggest hit? That would probably be "Dracula."
-Those bastards at Universal. I made so much money for them, and now I can't get the time of day.
-So let's make another "Dracula." Let's make "The Return of Dracula"!
-We can't. Those sons-a-bitches control the rights.
-Ha-ha! Dr. Acula!
-Dracula?
-No! <u>Doctor Acula</u>! You can still wear the cape, have the fangs... but you're a doctor! Not a count.
-Ah! This is very exciting.
-Bela, what happened?!
-I didn't feel well...
-Let me take you to the hospital.
-Should I call a doctor?
-Is there anything I can get you? Water? A blanket?
-Goulash.
-What's in the needle?
-Morphine, with a demerol chaser. Eddie, I'm so broke. I don't know what I'm gonna do...
-"Greetings. I am the Count."
-"Greetings. I am Slick Slomopavitz, Seeker of Adventure." Audience laughs. Applause. "Say, that's a funny place to sleep."
-"It is my home."
-"Oh, tract housing, huh?" Laugh. "You need a new real estate agent."
-No Bela, that's "incorporates." Look, just say "This casket has..."
-Bela, don't worry. You're better than all this crap.
-I never said I could ad-lib...
-Goodbye! Goodbye!
-So how'd we do?
-Bela, are you ready?
-Mmph? Where am I?
-You'll be sitting on the right.
-I'm not getting near that goddamn thing. One of those burned me on "The Return Of Chandu."
-"Dear, you are a woman of super strength and beauty. A lovely vision of exquisitely beauty -- shit!" Damn! Eddie, I'm sorry I can't remember all this. I'm an old man. It's too long.
-That's fine, Bela. We're still rolling. Just say "Dear, you're lovely."
-Bela, I don't know what I'm doin' anymore...
-What is this place?
-Was I wrong to cast Loretta?
-Bad decisions are easy to live with. Forget. Just keep looking forward.
-But was it a bad decision? At the time, I thought her money would save the movie.
-Eddie, you screwed up.
-In life, the decisions that haunt you are the ones where you just don't know... where right or wrong will never be answered. Years ago, the Hungarians contacted me. The government wanted me to come home, to be Minister of Culture.
-Really?
-It was a very impressive offer. Fancy offices, a big home... I'd be treated like a king.
-So why didn't you do it?
-I didn't know if it was a trick. They might arrest me and throw me in a gulag. I am Hungary's most famous emigrant. they'd use me as a lesson to anyone who tries to leave.
-But maybe not.
-Eddie, I'm so tired... I don't know if I can handle a night shoot...
-Let's shoot this fucker! Where do I go?
-You'll be fighting with the octopus.
-Out <u>there</u>?! What happened to the stream?
-This'll look a lot better. We have to match the stock footage of the octopus underwater.
-Goddamn, it's cold!
-Once you're in it, it warms up.
-Okay! How do we turn this thing on?
-Do you know I turned down "Frankenstein"?
-Huh?
-Bela, I've got twenty-five scenes to shoot tonight.
-Don't let me slow you down.
-Bela. I just wanna thank you again for last night.
-That's fine, Eddie. All in the line of duty.
-No. Seriously. I want you to know how much I appreciate what you've done for me. A great man like you shouldn't have to run around in freezing water at four in the morning.
-Well, there aren't too many other fellas I'd do it for...
-Eddie, this is quite a scene.
-Why are you here??
-Shit! Bela, what's with the gun?
-Why aren't you on your honeymoon? Where's Myrna?
-What are you doing?
-I was thinking about killing myself.
-Jesus Christ, what an evening. What happened?
-Eddie, I received a letter from the government. They're cutting off my unemployment. That's all I've got. Without it, I can't pay the rent...
-Don't you have any savings?
-Buddy, I don't know if that's such a good idea.
-It'll be wonderful. We'll be at peace. In the afterlife, you don't have to worry about finding work.
-Bela, I'm on your side. C'mon, give me the gun... If you give me the gun, I'll make you a drink. What are you drinking?
-Don't worry.
-I'm sorry, Eddie. I'm so sorry.
-What happened?!
-Isn't it wonderful? After all these years, the press is showing an interest again in Bela Lugosi.
-Bela, they're parasites! They just want to exploit you.
-I've got some good news. The doctor says you're all better. You can come home.
-Really? I don't feel so great.
-Eddie, I wanna make another picture. When are we gonna make another picture?
-So Eddie, don't we need a sound crew?
-No, this is just the second unit. We'll do the main footage later.
-Oh. So what is the scene about?
-Okay. But what if I'm not in <u>too</u> big a hurry? What if I take a moment to slow down and savor the beauty of life? To smell a flower?
-And, cut...
-Eddie, how was I?
-Sorry...
-Last night was quite a romp.
-Did you see that kid grab Vampira's tits?
-I envied him. Hell, I envied you too, having a girlfriend that would jump in front of a car like that.
-Yeah, she's really somethin'.
-Eddie, I want to thank you. These last few days have been a good time.
-I just wish you coulda seen the movie.
-So guess where I'm going next weekend?
-I don't know. Where?
-Mexico! And guess what I'm going to do there?!
-I dunno. Lie on the beach?
-Jesus! Are you serious?
-I've never seen anything like him!
-And once I'm a woman, Jean-Claude and I are getting married --
-This is gonna be Bela's laboratory, so it should be real impressive! Like one of those mad scientist movies. I want beakers, and test tubes, and one of those electrical things that buzzes!
-You mean a Tesla coil?
-PLACES, EVERYONE! ROLL CAMERA!
-And, CUT! PRINT IT! LET'S MOVE ON!
-Don't you want a second take, for protection?
-Um, okay... roll camera
-Rolling.
-Which one <u>is</u> the red one?
-What do you mean?
-Hey Ed, shouldn't we do another take? Big Baldy kinda got stuck in the doorway.
-I got the early edition! It was just dropped off at the newsstand.
-You really think so?
-What happened?! Jesus, Connie, what did you do?
-What do you think you're doin'?!
-These shoes are itchy.
-You don't understand! The octopus is supposed to live in a <u>lake</u>!
-This is kind of a stream--
-Wow.
-And who may you be?
-Edward Wood, Sir.
-Ah. The director of "Glen Or Glenda."
-H-how'd you know?!
-Hey Cris, how'd you know we'd be living on Mars by 1970? How'd you know it wouldn't be 1975, or even 1980?
-I guessed.
-I don't understand.
-There's no such thing as a psychic. People believe my folderol because I wear a turban and a black tuxedo.
-It's that easy?
-Bravo! Bravo! Magnifico!
-Cris, you made it. Thanks a lot.
-Incidentally, you <u>promise</u> you're not going to scratch my car...?
-Edward, are you sure you know what you're doing?
-Excuse me. Doctor? I'm with Mr. Lugosi. How is he?
-Well... there's a lot of junk in his system for such an old man. Apparently, he was addicted to morphine, tried to kick it, and got re-addicted to methadone.
-Will he be okay?
-We thought Mr. Lugosi was insured though the Screen Actors Guild.
-Isn't he?
-No. They say his eligibility ran out years ago.
-Dolores, give me your shoes.
-What?
-Honey, what if I'm wrong? What if I just don't have it?
-Ed, it was only one review.
-Orson Welles was 26 when he made "Citizen Kane." I'm already 30!
-Ed, you're still young. This is the part of your life when you're <u>supposed</u> to be struggling.
-Eddie, I don't understand. Why are <u>you</u> the most qualified director for the Christine Jorgensen Story?
-Sweetie, you won't believe it! I've got the most incredible news!
-You got the job?!!
-Huh?! Oh, uh, no, I didn't get the job. But something <u>better</u> happened!
-Better than not getting a job?
-Yeah! I met a movie star! Somebody <u>really big</u>!
-Who? Robert Taylor?!
-No! A horror movie star!
-Boris Karloff!?
-Close! The <u>other</u> one!
-You met Basil Rathbone!
-Oh, the hell with you. I met BELA LUGOSI!
-No! He's very alive. Well... sort of. He's old, and frail -- but he's still Bela Lugosi! And he's really nice.
-Boy, I can't even remember the last time he was in a picture.
-It's a shame. He's such a rest actor, and nobody uses him anymore.
-Ed, I'm so proud! I'll read it as soon as I get home.
-How long have you been doing this?
-Since I was a kid. My mom wanted a girl, so she used to dress me in girlie clothing. It just kinda became a habit.
-Jesus Christ! And you never told me?
-This is my way of telling you --
-And what about this so-called "Barbara" character? It's obviously ME! I'm so embarrassed! This is <u>our</u> <u>life</u>!
-Of course it is. And that's why you should play the part.
-It's a damn good role.
-<u>That's not the issue</u>!! Ugh! How can you act so casual, when you're dressed like that?!
-It takes me comfortable.
-How can you just walk around like that, in front of all these people?
-Hon', nobody's bothered but you. Look around -- they couldn't care less.
-Ed, this isn't the real world! You've surrounded yourself with WEIRDOS!
-Ed, who is Daniel Davis?
-From today on, our lives are different! We'll be swimming laps in the same pool Jean Harlow did.
-I don't know. It's so much money...
-Who cares?! We're on a ROLL! These are the moments in life you're supposed to grab.
-But Ed, we're not even married. And you don't have a job.
-Look on the bright side. If we miss the rent, what's the worst they can do?
-Toss us out on our ass.
-I'm no good.
-Ed, it's just one man's opinion!
-Bela needs a job... I can't even get a film going... But <u>of course</u> I can't -- I made the worst movie of all time.
-All I wanna do is tell stories. The things I find interesting...
-Ed, the landlord called again. He wants his money.
-Tell him "Bride" is in pre- production.
-Ed, the landlord doesn't care.
-That's the problem! <u>Nobody</u> cares about my movie! I'm tryin' so hard, I don't know what else to do!
-Don't get angry at me. Maybe you just need a day job.
-Dolores, don't you understand? I'm a director now! I made "Glen Or Glenda." Directing <u>is</u> my day job.
-It was the only way I could get the movie made!
-Who do you think's been paying the rent?! Who helped type your script, and did all your grunt work?!
-I'm sorry! What did you want me to say?
-I wanted you to say, "No! I wrote the part for my girlfriend Dolores."
-But there's plenty of other parts.
-Like <u>what</u>?!
-Goddamn landlord.
-I told you this was gonna happen.
-Maybe if you'd come to the backers party, I would've gotten the money.
-That's moronic. Why would a bit player impress a backer?
-Look, how many times can I say I'm sorry? I blew it! I thought she was rich.
-That's a good reason to dump your girlfriend.
-You're a fuckin' mess.
-So WHAT?? Look, we gotta figure out where we're gonna stay.
-I'm going to my mother's.
-Honey, you made it! I wasn't sure you got my message.
-Of course I'm here. Today is the file clerk's big scene.
-That's right...
-That's Tony McCoy. He's playing Lieutenant Dick Craig.
-Oh really? How much money did he put up?
-None. But his dad gave me fifty grand.
-Wood Productions. The mark of quality.
-Eddie, what's <u>my</u> motivation?
-Oh. Er... well you're the file clerk. You're hurrying into the next room, when you bump into Janet.
-But what's our relationship? Are we good friends, or is she just a casual acquaintance?
-Dolores, wait!
-Ed, it's over. I need a normal life.
-I'm tired of living on the fringe.
-But you used to say --
-Pleased to meet you. I'm Loretta King.
-I understand you just moved here?
-So my associate Mr. Marco tells me you may be interested in investing in a motion picture.
-Perhaps a small amount of money. How much do one of your motion pictures cost?
-For this one, we need $60,000.
-Perhaps you'd like to look at the photoplay.
-Oh my, this is very interesting. Say... do you think it would be possible for me to maybe play one of these parts?
-Oh, of course!! There's a couple characters you'd be perfect for: The secretary at the newspaper office, or the file clerk!
-Eddie, which dress do you like better?
-Sorry to bother you while we're shooting, but the guy who owns the stage needs his money.
-Well then you should pay him, shouldn't you?
-I kinda need it now.
-What are you looking at me like that for? I already gave you my three hundred.
-Yeah. Well I need the other sixty-thousand.
-What other sixty-thousand?
-The other sixty-thousand you said you'd give me.
-Hey big shot, get off your ass. They need a potted palm over in the Carl Laemmle Building.
-He's a <u>bum</u>.
-No he's not! Do you realize how much money he made for this studio over the years? "Dracula"! "The Raven"! "The Black Cat"!
-Yeah? Well now he's a junkie. He don't deserve to work.
-That's not true --
-He's so great, <u>you</u> hire him.
-Mr. Ward, it's a delight to meet you.
-It's Wood. Ed Wood.
-So what are you bringing me? Looks like you got some film cans.
-Well, Mr. Feldman, some people have resumes to show. I've got my own movie.
-Really?! Well good for you.
-I just made this picture, over at Screen Classics. It opens next week.
-Screen Classics? Hmm, don't know them.
-Nobody in town has seen it, so I'm givin' you first crack at my talents.
-Well, Mr. Feldman, I don't believe in thinking small. So I've got a whole slate of pictures for you: "The Vampire's Tomb," "The Ghoul Goes West"... and "Doctor Acula"!
-Doctor Acula? I don't get it.
-Oh, "Dr. Acula." I get it. I don't like it.
-But Bela Lugosi's in it!
-Well... I've got another project I wasn't gonna tell you about. Lugosi's in it, but he's got a smaller part. The lead is an ingenue, a sterling young actress named Dolores Fuller. The title is "Bride Of The Atom."
-Mr. Wood?!
-Hruphh...?
-Yeah...?
-Mr. Wood, you have bounced your third and final rent check.
-Hmm, so you're in the picture business?
-You could say that --
-<u>I'm</u> interested in the picture business. My associates and I wish to produce a series of uplifting religious films, on the Apostles. But unfortunately, we don't have enough money.
-Raising money is tough.
-Okay -- you know what you do? You produce a film in a commercially proven genre. And after it's a hit, you take the profits from <u>that</u>, and make the twelve Apostles' movies.
-Would that work?
-"Graverobbers From Outer Space"! It's <u>money in the bank</u>.
-Graverobbers from <u>what</u>??
-I don't know... this is all a lot to absorb.
-It's a guaranteed blockbuster!
-Um, I understand that this science friction is popular -- but don't the big hits always have big stars?
-Yeah, well we've GOT a big star! Bela Lugosi!!
-Yes, but I've got the last footage he ever shot!
-Just, it doesn't look like very much.
-What'd you give him all the lines for?? He's unintelligible!
-And PERFECT. CUT!
-"Perfect"? Mr. Wood, do you know <u>anything</u> about the art of film production?!
-I like to think so.
-That cardboard headstone tipped over. This graveyard is obviously phony!
-People won't notice. Filmmaking isn't about picky details -- it's about the big picture.
-Mr. Reynolds!
-Yes?
-Glad you could fit me in your schedule.
-Could we moovf to table?
-So, Mr. Johnson --
-Tor!
-Tor. Have you ever thought about becoming an actor?
-Mm, not good-lookink enough.
-I think you're quite handsome.
-Well, I think you'd be a sensation in pictures.
-But what bout accent? Some people tink I haf too much accent.
-So anyway, I've got this new script, "Bride Of The Atom," and there's a part you're ideal for: "Lobo." He's tough. A brute. But he has a heart -- and at the end he saves the girl.
-I like. When do movie shoot?
-Edvard! I haf question 'bout script. My vife Greta, she read. And she no like.
-Really? Was the third act too intense?
-No. She tink Lobo is waste of my time. Lobo don't talk.
-But Tor, it's a starring part! You're second billed.
-Tor, dialogue is overrated. You look at the classic film actors, who are they? Fairbanks. Chaplin. They didn't talk! They did it all with their face.
-Here's the scene. Loretta, you're in a trance. You glide in and get on the operating table. Now Tor, you're supposed to tie her down. But you have an angora fetish... and when you rub that swatch of angora, it makes you refuse so Bela has to discipline you.
-Hey! You're not eatink.
-Uh, I don't have much of an appetite lately.
-I'd be happy too, if I had such a great family.
-Tor, I should be getting home.
-My friend, you tink Greta is first woman I ever see? No! Many duds, before I find her.
-But I thought me and Dolores had something.
-My eyes are killink me.
-What is happening?
-Excuse me, Sir...?
-Yes?
-Uh, uh, I'm a young filmmaker, and a really big fan... and I just wanted to meet you.
-My pleasure. I'm Orson Welles.
-Oh. Um, I'm Ed Wood! So, what are you working on now?
-I can't believe it. These sound like <u>my</u> problems!
-It's the damn money men. You never know who's a windbag, and who's got the goods. And then they all think <u>they're</u> a director...
-Ain't that the truth! I've even bad producers recut my movies --
-Ugh, I hate when that happens.
-And they always want to cast their buddies -- it doesn't even <u>matter</u> if they're right for the part!
-Mr. Welles, is it all worth it?
-Can I help you?
-Yes, I'm Ed Wood. I'm here about directing the Christine Jorgensen picture.
-Yeah, well a couple of things have changed. It ain't gonna be the Christine Jorgensen story no more. Goddamn "Variety" printed the story before I had the rights, and now that bitch is asking for the sky.
-So you're not gonna make the movie?
-Is there a script?
-It opens in nine weeks in Tulsa.
-Well, Mr. Weiss, I'm your guy. I work fast, and I'm a deal: I write AND direct. And I'm good. I just did a play in Hollywood, and Victor Crowley praised its realism.
-Well, Mr. Weiss, I've never told anyone what I'm about to tell you... but I really want this job. I like to dress in women's clothing.
-Are you a fruit?
-No, no, not at all! I <u>love</u> women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.
-So you're not a fruit?
-Nah, I'm all man. I even fought in WW2. 'Course, I <u>was</u> wearing ladies' undergarments under my uniform.
-You gotta be kiddin' me.
-And this is why you think you're the most qualified to make my movie?
-Mr. Weiss, I was thinkin' about what you said, about how all your movies have to make a profit. And I realized, what's the one thing, that if you put in a movie, it'll be successful??
-Tits.
-Eddie, you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures. I make crap.
-Yeah, but if you took that crap and put a star in it, you'd have something!
-Yeah. Crap with a star.
-No! It would be something better! Something <u>impressive</u>. The biggest moneymaker you've ever had!
-What if I told you you could have a star for $1000??
-Lugosi?
-Yeah! <u>Lugosi</u>!
-Isn't he dead?
-No, he's not dead! He lives in Baldwin Hills. I met him recently, and he wants to be in our picture.
-OUR picture?
-Why would Lugosi want to be in a sex-change flick?
-I thought this was gonna be a sex- change film!
-There's still a sex-change --
-Yeah! Five pages right before it ends! The rest of the show is about some schmuck who likes angora sweaters.
-I don't think he's a schmuck.
-And what's with this new title?! My poster says "I CHANGED MY SEX"!
-Ed! What's with these revised pages?! A scene in a smelting factory? A buffalo stampede?? <u>Three-hundred soldiers storming Anzio</u> <u>Beach</u>??! What's going on here? I can't afford to film this nonsense!
-Don't worry. We're not gonna film any of it.
-<u>Then how's it gonna get in the</u> <u>picture</u>?!
-I think it's fifty-seven minutes long.
-Yeah? Whatever. So did you like it?
-Ed, what was the one thing I asked you to do? Make it <u>seven reels long</u>. I've got contracts with my exhibitors. If it ain't over an hour, they won't play it.
-Gee, I used every frame of film we shot. Maybe they won't notice.
-They'll notice. Look, why don't you let me take over from here? I can do a few tricks: Pad it out with more stock footage, add establishing shots...
-Um, I guess --
-Good. And one more thing. I think your "Written, Directed, and Starring Ed Wood" credit is a bad idea.
-Why?! I did all those things! Hell, I even built the props.
-But I'm proud. I wrote, directed, and starred in it just like Orson Welles in "Citizen Kane"!
-Georgie, what's with the stag footage?? You said you were cutting in <u>establishing shots</u>!
-"Where's the ads"?! The ads are in Alabama, Indiana, and Missouri! You schmuck, it ain't gonna play L.A.!
-Why not??
-Because I can't sell it to save my life! You made a goddamn feathered fish. Is it an art film, a horror show, a hygiene flick? Nobody knows! I'm beggin' people to book it.
-Maybe it needs special handling.
-Screw you, Wood! I even sunk more money into different titles: "Transvestite" "He Or She?" "I Led Two Lives"... It DOESN'T MATTER! Nobody wants to see the piece of shit.
-You can't talk that way about my movie.
-Hello.
-Hello. You're sleeping in a tuxedo.
-I got married last night.
-Oh. Congratulations.
-The marriage already ended.
-What are you making?
-Booties for my father. He gets cold in this hospital.
-How long's he been here?
-Oh, it's you again.
-Oh, hi.
-You look beat.
-I am. How's your father?
-He's better. Thank you for asking. How's your friend?
-Oh, flowers! I didn't know you were so traditional.
-I just picked them up on the way over...
-So have you always lived in L.A.?
-No. I'm from back east. You know, All-American small town... everybody knew everybody, I was a Boy Scout, my dad worked for the post office...
-Did you find it boring?
-Oh. I loved those shows! "Inner Sanctum"... "The Shadow" --
-You're not gonna believe the first picture I ever saw. Your friend's.
-What do you mean?
-That <u>is</u> incredible! You know, I had to sleep with the lights on for a week after seeing that movie.
-I had to sleep with the lights on for a month. But I never missed a Lugosi picture after that.
-Kathy, I'm about to tell you something I've never told any girl on a first date. But I think it's important that you know. I like to wear women's clothes.
-Huh?
-Does this mean you don't like sex with girls?
-No! I love sex with girls.
-Oh. Okay.
-Stop!
-Ed, this spaghetti sauce is delicious.
-What was that?
-I'd seen him in a coffin so many times, I expected him to jump out...
-Ed, you've got to snap out of this. Bela's dead -- <u>you're not</u>!
-I might as well be. I made shitty movies that nobody wanted to see. I blew it. All he wanted was a comeback... that last glory...
-Well you tried --
-You know, when you rewrite a script, it just gets better and better!
-Do you want your buttons on the left or the right?
-The left. It's more natural. Hey, I've got a scene where the aliens have the ultimate bomb. What would that be made of?
-Uh, atomic energy?
-No. They're beyond that! They're smarter than the humans. What's <u>more</u> advanced?
-Dynamite --
-No, BIGGER! What's the biggest energy??
-The sun.
-Those assholes.
-The poor girl's out of a job.
-You should feel lucky. Ed's the only guy in town who doesn't pass judgment on people.
-Look, it's Dr. Tom. Hey, Dr. Tom!
-Who's Dr. Tom?
-I can't get it to go up.
-Ed, you're gonna miss your own premiere.
-Ed, I'm so happy for you.
-Let's get married.
-Huh?!
-<u>Right now</u>. Let's drive to Vegas!
-But it's pouring. And the car top is stuck!
-Excuse me, Miss Vampira?
-Yes?
-I don't understand. Do you want my autograph?
-No. I think my film is perfect for you.
-You want me to show it on my TV program? Well I got nothing to do with that. You should call up the station manager at Channel Seven --
-Uh, look, I'm with some friends, and we're about to eat --
-Please! It'll only take a minute. You can have some hors d'oeuvres, and meet my backers! There's a really nice dentist from Oxnard...
-No, don't worry, I moved on. I was just calling to see if you want to attend the world premiere of my new film, "Bride Of The Monster."
-Didn't you just make one called "Bride Of The Atom"?
-I'm really sorry...
-It's terrible. People won't even return my calls. It's like I don't exist.
-I know what <u>that's</u> like. Anyway, I brought a copy of the script. You would play the "Ghoul's Wife."
-Look... would it be possible to make the "Ghoul's Wife" a little less prominent, so people won't really notice me in the movie?
-You don't wanna be noticed?
-<u>It's uncanny</u>.
-What's uncanny?
-Hell, I've seen a lot worse reviews. I've seen ones where they didn't even like the costumes! Like, that last "Francis the Mule" picture -- it got <u>terrible</u> notices. But it was a huge hit.
-Lines around the block.
-The set doesn't look right! It looks too... empty. Clutter it up. Put a skeleton in the corner. And what's that thing over there?
-I don't know.
-Just like I always promised. Now you're among the immortals. You're movie stars.
-Uh, yoo-hoo. Excuse me! Sorry to interrupt, but I got some big news.
-Yeah...?
-Wow, this lab looks great. Except why is there a stove and refrigerator?
-We couldn't afford any more props. If it seems weird, maybe you can add a scene where they eat dinner.
-Ed, you said you were getting permission.
-You're sure this is gonna work?
-Yes!
-You're <u>sure</u>???
-Hey. This is looking good! Paul, where's the octopus motor?
-What octopus motor?
-You know, to make the legs move --
-Norma, this is Bela -- Bela, this is Norma. Norma, this is Tor -- Tor, this is Norma. Norma, this is Paul Paul, this is Norma.
-Ed, I got the Lugosi lookalikes outside.
-Too tall... too short... And this guy doesn't work at all.
-Well I was thinkin' like, when Bela played "Fu Manchu."
-...Do you accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior?
-What are you talking about?! It's the premise of the movie. It's even the title, for Christ's sake!
-Isn't it wonderful? Bela lives!
-Doesn't this strike you as a bit morbid?
-This is our choir director. He's gonna play the young hero.
-Are you IN5ANE? <u>I'm</u> the director! <u>I</u> make the casting decisions around here!
-I thought this was a group effort.
-Mr. Wood? <u>What do you think you're</u> <u>doing</u>?!
-B-but it's our money --
-Why... yes.
-Don't you think angora has a tactile sensuality lacking in all other clothing?
-I suppose. It's very expensive.
-It's made from specially-bred rabbits that live in the Himalayas.
-What are you, an angora wholesaler?
-No, I work in pictures. I'm a director-actor-writer-producer.
-Ah, c'mon! Nobody does all that.
-Two people do. Orson Welles and me.
-Wow.
-My goodness, you're embarrassing me.
-Eddie, I'm just a small-town girl. I've never done this before.
-What the heck is THIS?!!
-Please, be compassionate. I'm your husband!
-Vampira! Hi, this is Ed Wood.
-Who?
-Ed Wood! You came to my party. I directed "Bride Of The Atom"!
-Well, I was wondering if maybe sometime you'd like to go out, and maybe grab some dinner.
-You mean like a date? I thought you were a fag.
-ME?! No, uh, I'm just a transvestite.
-Isn't that the same thing?
-No, no! I like girls. So how 'bout Friday?
-No. The bathroom is off limits -and when I go to sleep they go to other programming. Unless I get up. Then they go back on the air. Unless I get up to go to the bathroom, I guess, then -
-What if--you're vomiting?
-What if I'm vomiting?
-Do they show it?
-I'11 have to pass, Al. And it's not an age thing --
-No! Do they show you having sex?
-No. Kissing and hugging, okay, but if it's actual sex they have to cut away.
-At what point?
-Yeah. I brought you some movies.
-No, I intentionally picked out a lot of crap 'cause I don't like you.
-Is Mom here? I gotta talk to her.
-She's in the kitchen. I'd yell for her, but I'd die. You had a busy night last night.
-What do you love her or something?
-Come on...
-Whatever happened to Norman Rockwell?
-Who?
-Norman Rockwell. He painted magazine covers. Folksy. A mailman, a boy scout, a kid visiting a doctor...
-Yeah, so... ?
-They celebrated the common person.
-Well, I don't think you can get more common than me, Al.
-Jeanette, you're hurting me.
-Have I ever said a bad word to you about your father?
-No.
-How's your mother?
-Al!
-Our neighbors gave me a ride.
-Al!!
-You thought it was me?
-Yes!
-It's your father. Hank. Your mother went to see him and he had a heart attack.
-Are things gonna be okay with you and Mom? Is there anything I can --
-I'm moving out.
-What?!
-I'm going to be living with my brother. He's not in such good shape as I am, but... I'm looking forward to the pillow fights.
-Oh, Al ... This is just...
-Did you see that?
-What?
-Her. That look. She likes the Ed guy better than she likes the brother.
-You're nuts.
-I'11 tell you something else. The old guy in the wheelchair? The stepfather? They're gonna have him die.
-What do you mean "they're gonna have him die?"
-You know, for a tearjerker. The audience falls in love with this loveable old geezer in a wheelchair and then he dies, it's ... They know what they're doing.
-This is real, Bananahead!
-So?
-You think she really likes him?
-She doesn't give a shit about him.
-You know what would be great?
-What?
-Yeah only I wish they had the sister on more.
-Ooh, the sister! She is hot.
-What did you study?
-Ed, can I see you a second.
-Excuse me.
-Okay, so you understand? We're installing a permanent camera in your bedroom, one in the kitchen, one in the living room, plus, of course, there'll always be a couple of steady-cams following you.
-Cool.
-That has my work number, my home number, my pager number. I sleep three hours a night. Call me whenever you want to talk. Off the air, on the air, whenever. Okay?
-Now look. Don't freeze up on me. I picked you because you had kind of a relaxed, go-with-the-flow quality. You're not going to lose that, are you?
-No, uh...
-I bet my career on you. You'd better be good.
-Don't say that. That's like... telling a guy before you have sex you'd better be good. You don't do that.
-Yes, Ed.
-Could we just talk alone for a second? I --
-How you doing, Ed?
-I feel like when I was a kid and my mother sent me to school in orange corduroy pants.
-Uh-huh?
-Yeah?
-Can I give you one bit of advice? About Shari?
-Sure.
-They tore her dress! ...
-We're going to get you a bodyguard, don't worry. Ed, I have some news for you. We're picking up Ed TV for another month!
-Yeah?!
-That means a balloon payment and a big raise for the second month.
-Yeah.
-You asked me if I had a dream. I said "Sure, I have a dream. I just don't know what it is yet."
-Great line.
-What if Shari's the dream?
-Ed, do you want my advice?
-Yeah, that's why I called. I mean, maybe Fed-Ex would tell me where she moved --
-Leave her be.
-You said a woman likes to be pursued.
-Ed, everything goes off. "Cheers" went off. "Mash" went off --
-Yeah, but when they went off people weren't making fun of them. They weren't bozos! I'm Pumpkin Ass again!
-Ed --
-You know, everything you asked me to do I did. I call you for advice about Shari you say - "Leave her be, see other people for a while." You just wanted me to get involved with Jill because it made for a better show.
-Ed --
-No. You screwed up my life just so you could get higher ratings. You never gave a shit about me.
-I don't think so.
-He's who we want to go with.
-This guy.
-I polled my staff. The men say they'd hang around with him and the women say he's fuckable. And one of the men said he's fuckable.
-Take him off the air.
-What are you talking about? He's fine. He's out of the hospital already. The ratings are higher than ever.
-With all due respect, Cynthia you're nuts. I'm giving him another month!
-Isn't this getting kind of pathetic. I mean we drank the juice, now we're just licking peel. Let it go!
-Where are you going?
-Mr. Pekurny.
-Yes?
-I'm Dr. Geller. Your mother is just lying down for a few minutes. we gave her something to calm her down.
-Thank you. Can I see her?
-Just wait here. She's coming right back out.
-Mm... Oh, man...
-
-What about him -- did he suffer any or was it quick? I'd hate to think he...
-Very quick. Between you and me, it's not a bad way to go. Making love to your wife... it's very sweet.
-Really? They were..
-According to your mother. When the paramedics got to the hotel, she told them that --
-Hotel? What were they doing in a hotel?
-I thought -- I thought he was dead.
-Who?
-Al!
-What?
-Look at this -- people are getting married, they're getting married...
-You said that.
-You know who we are?
-Tell me.
-We're the guys who clean up after the parade.
-I'm gonna stick this right in your eye.
-I was at this comedy club last week and this comedian says "If you're over thirty and your job requires you to wear a name tag, you screwed up your life." And I'm laughing and then I realize I wear a nametag.
-So do I. So what? I'm doing all right.
-Oh, that thing. Yeah. Did you hear about this?
-Hey, if it's free, it's me. You ready?
-Yeah. You did good. What's wrong?
-Aah, I wanted Shari to come.
-Yeah. Honey, if you're watching this is for you.
-No! Don't -- Oh, wow.
-You know about that fireman who rescued that little girl?
-When? Today?
-No! Like, ten years ago. In Texas. Baby... Jessica!
-Oh right, right! She fell down, like a...
-Yeah, a thing. He became a big hero. He was on TV and there was a parade and a movie about him
-Right, right...
-And then, uh... you know it blew over and he went back to being a fireman again.
-Right.
-So he killed himself.
-Eddie? ...
-Yeah?
-Are the TV people with you?
-Yeah. The camera guy is here.
-Send him away.
-Send him? Ma, I can't. it's -- just come out here. Please, I --
-No.
-Do you want us to come in the kitchen?
-No. It's a mess.
-Ma, do you know where Ray is? I've been calling him and I'm getting his machine and --
-Eddie, how could you do it? Your brother's girlfriend.
-Hey, he cheated on her.
-He made a mistake.
-I don't want to -- do you know where he is?
-No. Maybe he's watching. Tell him you're sorry. Tell him you'11 stay away from that girl.
-I know you. This Shari is a passing fancy.
-How's Marcia? She all right?
-I don't know. She's living with that "entertainer"...
-Well, who knows? Maybe she finally picked a winner this time.
-Mm.
-You and Al lived together a few months before you got married -- after Dad left.
-Oh my God!
-I mean, that worked out.
-I can't believe you're taking his side.
-I told you the facts! He abandoned us -- those are the facts.
-Yes.
-Yes to me or yes to the coil?
-Both.
-He had girlfriends!
-He says --
-All right -- do you want to know the truth? I took you and Marcia and Ray to my sister's on the train for the weekend and you all got chicken pox. So I took you home a day early and there was your father with a woman in our bed. Okay?
-Chicken pox? I was six. He didn't leave 'til I was twelve.
-He... apologized, he begged me. He can be very... charming when it suits his purpose.
-But what was that whole story about him and a nurse?
-She could've been a nurse.
-Could've been a nurse?
-She had white shoes.
-So does Grandma. So does Shaquille O'Neal. You told me you had a hysterectomy and he ran off with your nurse.
-What's the difference?
-Oh my God. You and Al were - and that's why you threw him out.
-If I don't call you "Dad" it' just because... 1 was already a big boy when you came into our lives -- or when I thought you came into our lives --
-And what did he come back now for?
-Who?
-Hank! All of a sudden. Because now you're famous and he can get something from you. I don't wan you to become a victim like Marcia. Not that you're a victim, honey. You're not. Life's just been a little hard on you, sweetie.
-Eddie...
-Mom?
-I'm at the hospital.
-What's the matter?!
-He's dead! Eddie, he's dead! It was his heart.
-Oh God. What hospital?
-St. Joseph's.
-What happened?
-It was horrible. He called me up.
-Who?
-Hank! He said he wanted to talk to me to apologize for everything he begged -- he cried. So I went to this horrible hotel he was staying in... I felt so sorry for him --
-What?
-The doctor said you were having sex.
-To you? In front of him? With the...
-Yes. He assumed Hank was your husband. He didn't know.
-Oh my god! On TV!
-Why? How...
-One thing led to another. He was my husband once.
-But Al is your husband now!
-Do you think it's been easy for me? It's been years. Al can't have sex.
-Don't tell Al. He doesn't know.
-Ed! How did you know I was here?
-You're famous. Somebody called me. What are you doing in a place like this?
-Why shouldn't I be in a place like this? I'm a whore!
-Ma...
-I'm a tramp Meet your new father. The whole nation is laughing at us!
-And how is this helping? come on say, good-night to all your new friends and let's go home.
-What's going on over there?
-Right, yeah --
-She really doesn't want you and the camera in here right now.
-Hi, Mom.
-Hi. Is Shari here?
-No.
-What is she, at work?
-She left.
-She won't.
-What are you talking about?
-She left. She moved. She got Fed-Ex to give her a transfer and she left. She couldn't stand it anymore. We had people, news people, regular people, just sleeping in our hallway, going through our mail, our garbage. I mean it was she couldn't take it anymore. Now I've got to move. I can't afford this place by myself.
-I'm sorry. Where'd they send her?
-Well, Ed, that's ... not really possible.
-I can't?
-Well, no. You agreed to stay on the air as long as we asked you to. The station entered into this on that understanding. If you had refused we'd have begun this with somebody else. You can't just change the rules in the middle of the game, son. It's not fair to us. More importantly, it's not fair to the viewers. They're interested in
-Look, if you don't let me out of this... I'11 just... I'11 just sit in my apartment all day. I won't go anywhere, I won't do anything. What kind of show will that be?
-Not too good. That's why it states in your contract that if you do not continue to live a normal life, you're in violation and are liable for the station's financial losses. Ed, I urge you to reconsider. I urge you on behalf of all those people out there whose lives have become so entwined with yours. Play fair with them, Ed.
-No! I barely even mentioned -it's just that, my friends, the people at work, whoever I'm regularly in contact with they want releases from.
-They're gonna mock our foibles.
-Our what?
-What are you doing?
-Oh! Oh -- okay, now I get it. It's "Star Search." You wanted me here because the camera comes with me.
-Ed, he needs a break. You don't know what kind of bad luck he's had --
-Are you asking me?
-What does this mean?
-It means they hate his freaking guts. It means if he were on fire they wouldn't put him out.
-How much less?
-Never would be plenty.
-Um, yeah, I was gonna ...
-What's the deal? Did anybody make a decision -
-Ed, look, uh... you're not getting the job. They're gonna transfer someone from another store to manage this store when I leave to manage the new store. I'm sorry.
-Oh, Christ. Did you go to bat for me?
-I batted!
-You batted or you bunted?
-Hey. I went as far as I felt comfortable. I mean, you know, let's face it -- you come and go here as you please. You work when you feel like it -- you know, Bruce Springsteen's birthday is not a legal holiday.
-Well, then I'm quitting.
-Ed, come on. What's that gonna do? You're gonna bring Blockbuster to their knees. Let me recommend a movie to you. It's called "Get your shit together before it's too late."
-Hey, Lou.
-Yeah...
-I hear the dog really liked him.
-Oh, the whole family loved him. Of course, they loved the last guy I went out with, and he strung me along for three years and dumped me.
-Are you sure about this?
-Hey, believe me -1 know I've got a great chance of making a fool of myself, here.
-Why do it?
-I saw this show once. It was about logging. I was home sick, there was nothing else on. Do you know how they break up really bad log jams? You know, when they're really tangled... ?
-Cream rinse?
-Dynamite.
-So?
-So maybe this is my dynamite.
-You do though, you look great.
-Right.
-What do you want?!
-Don't defend that horse's ass to me.
-I'm not. I'm not. I'm just Look -- you know, in a way, it's good. He got this out of his system now and he knows it's not worth it and, you know, someday if you guys got married or something --
-Ha!
-Okay ...
-I've got news for you-- I never intended to marry him.
-I mean bad.
-Really?
-Oh my God.
-It's... okay
-I kissed my boyfriend's brother on television!
-Well, when you put it that way.
-Leave. Go.
-Can't we just --
-Go!
-Really?
-Yeah. I mean for months I've been seeing you with Ray you being his girlfriend and I kept wishing you were my girlfriend... But, you know, what could I do?
-Me too. I mean I'm going out with Ray and I'm... thinking about you.
-Really?
-Oh God, this is so weird.
-What are you doing?
-You know, I never saw you in your uniform before.
-It's really a tremendous turnoff.
-You should see the one we wear when it rains.
-Sunday night at the Devils game, I'm driving the Zamboni.
-The what?
-You know, the big machine that cleans the ice.
-Oh yeah.
-Oh -- Sunday is good for me to meet your folks. We get a big family audience on Sundays so it works out.
-That's lucky.
-I wish my stepfather was here.
-Why?
-Um...
-I told you. If we... you know do it, they go away until ... we're done.
-I know, but even if they go away, everybody in America knows what we're doing because... they went away.
-So? What do they think -- we're not kids --
-I know, I ...
-Shari, I really like you...
-I really like you too...
-...if this ... ... weren't here... ?
-... yeah, then, but...
-So...?
-I have no privacy. Even now! I'm crying and I can't stop and they won't go away. And now it's going to be another month!
-Shari...
-Everybody hates me!
-No. Who?
-Page three of the Post.
-Ohh...
-A poll. "Is Shari Good Enough for Ed?" Seventy-one per cent said "no." They hate me!
-Who cares? I don't ca -- No. I do care. Shame on everybody. Shame on you! Well, just the seventy-one percent. The other...
-Twenty-nine.
-Exactly. Boy, you're smart. Why are you so mean to her? What did she do to you? "Is she good enough for Ed?" Who the hell am I? Who the hell do you think I should be dating?
-There's a list.
-Really?
-I tried to tell you over the phone -- my parents went to Atlantic City.
-So?
-So my little brother's staying here. I'm sleeping with Rita.
-Oh Je -- couldn't he sleep with Rita? We'11 all have a good time.
-I'm sorry.
-Come on, let's go.
-Where?
-I feel like a criminal or, like we're cheating on someone.
-Just... just relax. Okay? We won't do anything. We'11 just sit here for a while.
-Okay.
-I need to talk.
-Are you all right?
-She lied to me. I mean all my life, she's telling me one story and then... it turns out to be a completely different story. Come to me at some point -- tell me the truth. No. Not in my house. The truth is a stranger. And this is why Ray and Marcia are the way they are. Marcia gets involved with all these
-Yeah... I saw that girl come on to you at the TV show.
-Oh that was... no, I ... she just kind of trapped me into giving her a ride. It's you. I want you.
-It's not their fault.
-What do you want me to do? You want me to quit the show?!
-No... Could you?
-No. If I quit I don't get the balloon payment.
-The what?
-Ray borrowed this whole tub of money against this balloon payment that I don't get if I qu -- it's too complicated. I -- Besides...
-You see how people look at me. Like when they ask for my autograph or say "Hi" to me... It's like I'm a basketball player or a... you know, like I'm someone.
-Everybody's someone.
-This is going right up your ass.
-Kinda'.
-You weren't able to make me feel safe or secure -- no easy job for any man, I admit -- and my problem is, if I think I'm losing, I pull myself out of the game. I bail. See? I told you, I'm the love coroner.
-What did you do to your hair?
-My truck overheated, so I opened the hood and my hair got caught in the fan belt. So I had to get a haircut.
-Let's have a contest. Now this would mostly be open to professional investigators and detectives. But anyone can join in.
-What do we have to do?
-But facts! They have to be verified. Anything from their past, their present, business, personal -- arrests, affairs ... And whoever comes up with the sleaziest, most degrading material -- I'11 give you ten thousand dollars. And you get to be on Ed TV. Hah?
-What's up?
-Where were you?
-What do you mean all of a sudden? You've been going with her six months.
-You know, that would be like a great thing.
-What?
-That! Being that guy. Being the guy they watch.
-What are you drunk?
-Yeah, but let's stay on one subject. Whoever that person is is going to be famous. They'll be able to get whatever they want. They'll ... trust me, this is my business.
-What is?!
-Show business.
-You're in show business?
-Yeah. I service video equipment.
-That's like... those people stitching Nikes in Panama saying they're in the NBA.
-I'm not stitching Nikes in Panama! ... Bedwetter!
-Thumbsucker!
-I'm making a tape.
-I got your message. Way to go!
-I ... I'm not gonna do it.
-What?
-Look -- there's a million ways to humiliate yourself - I gotta think of a new way? I mean, it's all day! Every minute. Id be like a monkey at the zoo. I just...
-You would do this? You would actually --
-In a second! In a hot second. Let me ask you something --
-Why do you do that?
-What?
-Whenever you ask me something why do you always say "Let me ask you something?" Why don't you just ask me?
-All right. Let me ask you something... are you happy like this?
-I'm doing all right.
-You're gonna be a video store clerk for the rest of your life? This is your big ambition, rearranging the "Ernest" movies?
-Screw off.
-How many opportunities are you going to get in your life?
-I don't know.
-That's right. You don't know. Doors don't fly open for guys like us.
-Hey. You know-- we're not the same. I got a good life, this job suits me. I come and go when I please --
-All right.
-Yeah?!
-Polish acrobat.
-Okay, I just wanted to get your attention. My name is Ray and my friend Bucky and I design video systems. You've got an office or a big home, we'11 come out there design you an entire system.
-Hey, Ed. Did you hear about Marcia?
-No. What happened?
-Ray, maybe this isn't ...
-No, this is great. You'll love this. He's a singer.
-Marcia's living with a singer?
-I mean my question is what was she doing in a bar in the first place?
-Ray --
-She's an alcoholic, for Christ's sake.
-Remember the last guy she got involved with? What was his name?
-What's the dif --
-Richie! She spent six months dating a criminal
-She didn't know he was a criminal. They had a relationship. They --
-What are you, hiding from the Police? Show your face, you look great. Doesn't she look great.
-Great.
-Who is it?
-Hi.
-You watching the ballgame?
-Uh, no, uh I'm a little tired. I fell asleep.
-Oh. All right. I'11 watch at home, then.
-Hello... Shari, hi... Oh no! ... Oh God!
-What is this? What's going on, who is that?
-It's the receptionist at one of the places I service video equipment -- she's very pretty and, you know, she never even talks to me and then today I come in and she's all "I saw you on TV the other night... You were so great ... " Next thing I know we're ...
-Next thing you know! Why didn't you stop?
-I don't even know her. All I know is she likes Snapple.
-Why me?
-You brought the cameras here!
-You brought the girl!
-Please!
-... Ray?
-Yeah.
-Oh, man, I've been trying to call you.
-I know.
-Look, we gotta talk.
-What are we gonna fight? Ray, please, listen to me --
-Good-bye, brother!
-Cliff left her, thanks to you.
-Me?!
-That's right. You put Cliff on television. So then he decided he was too good for her and he left.
-Come on, Ma.
-Let's remember how I got into this. "Please, Eddie, do this for me. I can't get a break."
-You know what your problem is?
-Yeah. My problem is I've got a brother who writes a sentence like "We grew up in a small, little bedroom." As opposed to a big, little bedroom?
-I got paid by the word! No! Your problem is you don't ever want anything to be your fault.
-Me?! That's you!
-And each contestant gets one of these. An "I tried to screw a network executive" tee-shirt.
-Ray, where do you keep the glasses?
-Oh, is Shari here? Why didn't you just say so? Why are you giving me a song-and-dance about being tired?
-Hi, Shari.
-Who's Shari?
-Mr. Pekurny. I'm sorry to bother you. My son would just love to have your autograph.
-No -- keep it.
-Hello.
-You don't recognize me.
-Who is it?
-Quite a shithole, isn't it?
-It could be, if you fixed it up. How did you... ? I mean how does anyone ... wind up like this?
-I was in jail.
-The whole time? Eighteen years?
-No. Two times.
-What...
-Check forging.
-Oh, man! So...
-The last two years, I've been a limousine driver, but I don't see well anymore, so...
-So you saw me on TV and you said "Hey, let me jump on this."
-All right... This is my father, I don't know what the hell he can do, but if anyone out there can help him -- get him a job - I'11 ... help you. I'11 ... mention your business or ... I don't know, we'11 figure it out. I gotta go.
-Ed... I'm sorry.
-Yeah? That's good. Sorry is good. You know I finished that model.
-What...
--- That we were doing "together." I finished it. It came out great! Because no one was standing over my shoulder bothering me - "That's too much glue. You're using too much glue."
-Do you still have it?
-That girl's an idiot.
-Hi.
-I'm Jill. I really like your show. I think you're great.
-Oh, yeah, I love those. Yeah... those are funny...
-Um... They gave me a limo, uh...
-Oh!!
-We have to stop meeting like this.
-Are you busy tomorrow night?
-No.
-Why don't you come over. And I'11 make dinner. And you bring a movie. And ... We'11 make a night of it ... okay?
-Can I help with anything?
-No. It's going to be about a half-hour.
-Mm.
-Good?
-Ohhh...
-Ed?
-Ohh... do you own a cat?
-Look, can we all just sign the releases so we can get on with this?
-We don't have foibles.
-Look, my life is not so great, that I want it shown on television. And neither is yours.
-That's the point -- this could change things.
-How?
-For instance... me and my friend Bucky are buying out my boss. His equipment, trucks, client list, the whole shmear.
-What does that have to do with... ?
-Sign here, please.
-That Ray was a pig. Ed is doll. You latch on to him honey.
-By the X.
-Some more make-up wouldn't do you any harm. On TV you look a little washed out.
-What would I actually have to do to get you to sign this?
-Oh, an TV a minute and already an attitude.
-Yo --
-pierdo.
-Tu
-pierdes.
-El/ella -
-A few months before the election, she'd had an affair with my best friend Dave Novotny.
-Don't tell me that. I don't want to know that.
-You could tell Dave was one of those guys who taught because they never wanted to leave high school in the first place, and that could get a little irritating sometimes, but basically he was a real good guy.
-You did it at your house? Your own house?
-Look, Jim... Okay. I know it all seems crazy, and maybe it did start out, you know, for the... for the sex and the danger. But now it's different. Jim, what I'm trying to tell you is that Tracy and I are totally, totally in love.
-In love?
-Yeah, it's serious. I mean she inspires me in ways Sherry never has. She even wants to read my novel.
-But you haven't written your novel.
-That's the whole point. It's all in my head; it's right here. I just got to get it out there. Tracy wants me to write it so she can read it. It's beautiful.
-You're not just jealous, are you? I mean, we both used to talk about her
-That was just talk! Fantasy talk! What are you, nuts? We talk about girls all the time, but it doesn't mean anything. I would never. . . I mean, I take very seriously our strict moral code. The line you've crossed is... it's illegal and it's immoral.
-I don't need a lecture on ethics, Jim, okay? I know what --
-Sherry Sherry Sheerrry. ...
-One night he took us editors out to celebrate after a deadline. Eventually Dave and I were left alone and we got to talking - not like teacher and student, but like two adults.
-what?
-Well, I notice you don't seem to have any close friends at Millard. You seem to be kind of a loner.
-No, I'm not. I'm just really busy.
-I know. I know its not by choice. I just mean, well, being the kind of person you are, it must be really difficult to find someone you can talk to.
-What do you mean? What kind of person am I?
-Tracy, I've been watching you for going on two years now, and I think you are one of the most talented, hard-working, sensitive, attractive, brilliant students -- no, human beings -- I have ever met. I mean, you're the real thing. Special.
-Thank you.
-It was the first time somebody ever saw the real me, the me that nobody else knows.
-Thank God for Diane. She was my best friend, my source of love and strength. Oh sure, we'd had our share of bumpy times, but we'd always seen them through. After nine years of marriage, we were closer than ever. And the secret? Good communication.
-Anything wrong?
-Around that time Diane and I were hanging out a lot at Sherry Novotny's house, giving her our love and support and helping her make it through a difficult time.
-Jim, don't. You're scaring him.
-You gonna do it? You gonna do it?
-Yeah, uh, just a minute
-Come on, doit. Doit. Fill me up. Come on, fill me up
-Yeah, just --
-How'd it go?
-Fine. You know. We just went to Crossroads.
-Yeah. No. I mean, you know.
-What?
-Don't you smartass me! Don't you dare smartass me! You just shut your mouth I Now your mother and I have had a long talk with Halt Hendricks --- we just got off the phone with him at home. You know, he doesn't want you back at Millard. He's fed up with you. Fed up! And I don't blame him!
-Dick... Dick,..
-What?
-Tammy, now we've come to a decision. He just think it would be best --
-Having a problem with your eye there?
-All right. Well, sure nice to meet you.
-What? Right. So let's start counting.
-Well, I thought that... well, the way it always works is that SGA president does a count, then the SGA advisor, you know, for the two independent counts.
-Fine. So do your count. Start with president, and I'll be right back.
-I just want to get this over with, so we can have the assembly and go home. We don't have much time until eighth period. I have other things going on, too, you know.
-Okay. Yeah. We know
-What d'you got?
-I'm not supposed to tell. Not until you've counted too. We're each supposed to make an independent count.
-You're kidding, right?
-I thought those were the rules, Mr. McAllister. If they've changed in any way --
-Mr. M.?
-Larry?
-Yeah?
-Mostly Tammy fans
-See, it doesn't add up. There are only 801 ballots but 803 people voted. Two votes are missing. Check the register.
-He's right. Two people must have pocketed their ballots. Usually it's more.
-But, they were there I counted 803 votes.
-It happens, Larry. People make mistakes.
-Larry? We've got twenty-five minutes until the assembly, and we still have to do counts for VP, Treasurer and Secretary. Mr. Hendricks and I have both verified the numbers, and unless you can come up with the ballots you claim are missing -
-Good morning, Mr. McAllister.
-Not wasting any time, are you, Tracy?
-You know what they say about the early bird.
-Well, good luck there, Tracy
-Okay. But we're still missing something key here. What are we missing?
-I know.
-Tracy.
-Now at the end of her junior year, Tracy was poised to win the presidency of the student body. And so far she was running unopposed.
-...the rules of conduct determined by a culture at a...
-I got all my signatures. One hundred and fifty-eight -- way more than I need!
-Hey, that's super
-Here they are.
-You can put those in my box. I'll look at them tomorrow.
-Could you approve them now? I'd like to kick off my campaign right away, you know, in the morning.
-Looks good to me.
-Aren't you supposed to keep them?
-NO, that's fine
-I thought you were supposed to keep them.
-Thanks for everything.
-I can't wait to start campaigning.
-Should be easy. So far no competition.
-Hell, you know, Coca-Cola's the world's number one soft drink, but they spend more money than anybody on advertising. I guess that's how come they stay number one.
-You know, Mr. M., when I win the presidency, that means you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together next year. And I for one would like that time to be harmonious and productive. Wouldn't you?
-Sure
-Okay. That's good. I just wanted to make sure.
-Fuck me, Mr. McAllister
-You're the advisor. You should stop her. She's not qualified. She's just a sophomore.
-Calm down, Tracy. Just calm down.
-Are you sure all her signatures are real? It's not easy to get all those signatures.
-These are a bunch of burn-outs. And look at this one, I can't even read this one.
-Tim Kobza? Tim Kobza! Who's he? I've never heard of him!
-I guess you know why you're here
-If it's about the posters, I think it's so awful. It's a travesty.
-A travesty. Huh. That's interesting, because I think you did it.
-Mr. M., I am running on my qualifications. I would never need to resort to, you know, to vandalism like a, you know... Plus, my own best banner was torn down. Did I do that too?
-Were you or were you not working in the Watchdog office over the weekend?
-I was. So? Mr. Pecharda let me in. As you know, with all my responsibilities I often come in on the weekend and have permission to do so. But I left very early, around 6:30.
-6:30. How do you know what time the posters were torn down?
-I don't. I just know they were there when I left. I'm giving you helpful information is all. You know, instead of wasting time interrogating me, we should be out there trying to find out who did this.
-Okay, Tracy, so who do you think did it? Whom should we "interrogate?"
-You're a very intelligent girl, Tracy. You have many admirable qualities. But someday maybe you'll learn that being smart and always being on top and doing whatever you need to do to get ahead, and yes, stepping on people to get there, well, there's a lot more to life than that. And in the end, you're only cheating yourself.
-Why are you lecturing me?
-This isn't the time or the place to get into it, but there is, for just one example, a certain former colleague of mine, who made a very big mistake, a life mistake. I think the lesson there is that, old and young, we ail make mistakes, and we have to learn that our actions, all of them, can carry serious consequences. You're very
-I don't know what you're referring to, but I do know that if certain older and wiser people hadn't acted like such little babies and gotten all mushy, everything would be okay.
-I agree. But I also think certain young and naive people need to thank their lucky stars and be very, very grateful the whole school didn't find out about certain indiscretions which could have ruined their reputations, and chances to win certain elections.
-Yes?
-What do you mean?
-I told you! I told you! You're going to pay for my banner!
-Act surprised. Walk slowly to the podium. Be modest. Thank them for this incredible honor.
-Hello, Mr. M.
-So what brings you here?
-I'm looking at new cars.
-Oh. New cars. I see. Well, you came to the right place
-My mother's buying me a new car for college.
-Huh. Right. College. Wow. Where are you going? Where 'd you get into?
-Well, I got in everywhere I applied, but Cornell is my first choice.
-So, are you looking for something sporty or more practical?
-Where to?
-Handles pretty good, don't you think?
-Yeah.
-Plenty of pep, too.
-Uh-huh.
-And this model comes with ABS and dual air bags standard.
-So Tracy?
-Yes?
-Why are you doing this?
-Doing what?
-Coming to see me. Are you trying to. . humiliate me?
-Well, I... I... that's very nice of you.
-What's this?
-I want you to do something for me.
-Swallows, unsure what heaven or hell awaits him.
-Oh, is this...? God. First one of these I haven't been in for a long time.
-What a surprise.
-I'm scared, Mr. M. I kind of don't feel ready for college.
-You'll be fine.
-I hope so
-That little bitch made a fool of us I want her out of the election. Getting everybody all riled up like that. She's finished, you hear me? Washed up.
-Walt, we can't throw her out of the election just because we don't like her speech. That's not what student government's about.
-Jim, where the hell have you been?
-Nowhere. I don't have class until second period.
-Well, that speech she gave -- it was pretty, you know, pretty out there. But we'll get to the bottom of it. Don't you worry. Mr. McAllister is going to see to that. Right, Jim?
-Life would go on, and I would certainly be a stronger and wiser person from the experience.
-Uh, Jim?
-Hmm?
-Walt needs to see you.
-Walt will be speaking with you about this, but I need you to find someone to take over my classes. The lesson plans for the rest of the year are in my top right drawer.
-Okay, Jim. I understand.
-You wanted to see me, Mr. M.?
-Just wait outside. Tammy.
-Okay. But is this about the posters?
-Possibly. Please just wait outside.
-So... what do you have to tell me?
-Well, this is hard for me, but I think it's important to be honest. Don't you?
-What is it. Tammy?
-I'm the one. I did it. I tore down Paul's posters.
-Looks at her skeptically doesn't say a word.
-I did it.
-And when did you do it?
-This weekend.
-Exactly when?
-I don't know. Yesterday. Sunday.
-And how did you get in the school?
-Door was open.
-Which door?
-I don't know. All I know is I did it I
-I don't believe you.
-After Dave got fired, Sherry kicked him out of the house and filed for divorce.
-Could you get this? I can't
-Without Dave around. Sherry needed a lot of help around the house.
-Here?
-More this way.
-I can't afford this stuff right now.
-Oh, come on. You've had a hard year, you're cooped up with the kid all the time. Let go; live a little.
-So what do you think? Should we get a room?
-Should we get a what?
-points at the motel.
-Shall we give it a name?
-Did you know Dave's a bed wetter?
-No, I... uh, didn't know that
-All his life. He's tried everything.
-Still clear?
-Yep.
-Hey Yeah?
-Take me to that motel. Like you wanted.
-Right now?
-Easy, tiger. Come by after school. I'll leave Darryl with the sitter.
-Three twenty-five.
-What do you want, Jim?
-You're there.
-Yeah. I'm here.
-Sherry... I love you.
-Don't say that. You know it's not true.
-It's the only true thing I know anymore.
-We made a mistake. Let's not make it worse.
-A mistake? That was no mistake.
-I was lonely. You took advantage
-Paul, I know you've been pretty down since your accident.
-I wanted to play next year so bad I could taste it. And maybe go on to...
-I know. I understand disappointment. I really do.
-Yeah.
-But you've got a big choice right now. You can choose to be depressed about it for the rest of your life. Or you can choose to see it for what it really is: an opportunity. I personally think you have a big future ahead of you, and I don't mean the fleeting glory of sports.
-What do you mean?
-Who, me? Nooo. I never... I don't know anything about that stuff, Mr. M. Besides, that's Tracy Flick's thing. She's always working so hard and --
-Yeah, no, she's a go-getter, all right.
-And she's super-nice
-Yeah. But one person assured of victory kind of undermines the whole idea of a democracy, doesn't it? That's more like a... well, like a dictatorship, like we studied.
-Paul, what's your favorite fruit?
-Huh? Oh. Uh... pears
-takes a piece of chalk from the lip of the blackboard.
-Okay, let's say
-Fine. Let's say all you ever knew was apples. Apples, apples and more apples. You might think apples were pretty good, even if you occasionally got a rotten one. Then one day there's an orange. And now you can make a decision. Do you want an apple, or do you want an orange? That's democracy.
-I also like bananas.
-Oh, no. No. I'm just finishing up here, and I've got to get home.
-And on Halloween we could have a haunted house. But a really good haunted house, not like those cheesy bad ones. You know, more like the radio station ones. This one would be really scary. And for Homecoming -- well, you know how last year's theme was -
-Paul... Paul.... We'll have plenty of time to get into all this later. A whole year, in fact. Right now I just need to finish my pie and get home.
-Just one more thing. So, Mr. M., uh, do you think Tracy's going to be okay? I saw her face after the assembly, and I think she's taking it pretty hard.
-253... 254... 255. I get the same as you Jim. Looks like Paul's our president.
-No way I It doesn't make sense.
-Sorry. My figures work out exactly the same as Jim's. 256 for Paul, 255 for Tracy.
-And 290 "disregards," right?
-Whoa! Easy, Fouch. I don't like where you're going.
-You said I was a liar You're the liar, you're the --
-What?
-Where 're you going?
-I'm not like you.
-What...?
-Are you crazy?
-What?
-People can see this.
-So?
-These are private -- these are for us.
-I know.
-But other people can see them too.
-I don't care.
-Uhhh... teeth. Teeth.
-We can't both run, can we? We're brother and sister. Can we?
-She's doing this to get back at me
-For what?
-I mean at you.
-For what?
-We still have some extra ones, don't we? Maybe we can just --
-It was Tammy I That's who it was.
-Who put you up to this?
-Who put you up to this?
-What do you mean?
-You just woke up this morning and suddenly decided to run for president?
-No. Uh... I just... you know, I just thought --
-Thought what?
-Well, see, I was talking to Mr. McAllister about my leg and everything... and how I still want to, you know, do something for the school and --
-So Mr. McAllister asked you to run.
-Well, I mean, you know, I talked to him and everything, but he just said he thought it was a good idea... and how there's all different kinds of fruit and... It's nothing against you, Tracy. You're the best. I just thought --
-Way to go, Tracy! Isn't this exciting?
-Yeah.
-Hell, good luck!
-Good luck to you too, Paul.
-Paul, I just want you to know that no matter how this turns out, you've run a wonderful campaign. It's been fun competing with you.
-Yeah, you too, Tracy. I'm just glad it's over.
-Yeah.
-Paul, will you sign my yearbook?
-Can I sign yours too?
-Yes, Paul?
-Have a great summer. And good luck at college.
-Hey, Tammy, guess what happened today.
-Don't you fucking knock?
-Yeah. So guess what happened. So Mr. McAllister, he -- Oh hi. Lisa.
-Paul, get out!
-You dumbshit!
-What'd I do?
-What do you want?
-I just thought, well, last time you got suspended you fell so behind and -
-Now could you leave me alone?
-Yeah. Oh, one more thing. Tammy. You know, all this election stuff. 'Cause, you know, everyone is saying it's so weird that you're running against me, and, well, it is kind of weird, and you haven't really told me why you're doing it and didn't tell me in advance or anything. But that's okay, you know. l respect your privacy. I just want you
-Sure, Paul. No hard feelings.
-How's the left these days?
-What's it to you?
-I saw you fight Kid Gavilan. I like your style.
-What do you want, Mr. Policeman?
-You got a brother up in Folsom. I know because I put him there.
-Till 19-fucking-70.
-We're looking for three colored guys who like to pop off shotguns. One of 'em owns a purple Merc coupe.
-You wanna get me a fuckin' snitch jacket?
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas yourself, <u>Officer</u>.
-That obvious, huh?
-Somebody hit you?
-Can I get you a drink?
-I was friendly with Sue Lefferts, but we weren't really friends. You know what I mean?
-Are you sorry she's dead?
-Have you ever heard of Dick Stensland?
-No I haven't. Do you know why Pierce is humoring you?
-You use words like that, you might make me mad.
-Yes. But do you know?
-Yeah I know. Patchett's running whores and judging by his address, probably something bigger on the side. He doesn't want any attention.
-That's right. Our motives are selfish, so we're cooperating.
-Why was Susan Lefferts at the Nite Owl?
-I don't know. I never heard of the Nite Owl till today.
-Did Lefferts have a boyfriend?
-Like I said we were friendly, not friends.
-How'd she meet Patchett?
-Pierce meets people. Sue came on the bus with dreams of Hollywood. This is how they turned out. Thanks to Pierce, we still get to act a little.
-Tell me about Patchett.
-He's waiting for you to mention mention.
-You want some advice, Miss Bracken?
-It's Lynn.
-I remember you from Christmas Eve. You have a thing for helping women, don't you, Officer White?
-Maybe I'm just fucking curious.
-You say 'fuck' a lot.
-You fuck for money.
-There's blood on your shirt. Is that an integral part of your job?
-Yeah.
-Do you enjoy it?
-When they deserve it.
-Did they deserve it today?
-I'm not sure.
-But you did it anyway.
-Yeah, just like the half dozen guys you screwed today.
-Actually, it was two. You're different, Officer White. You're the first man in five years who didn't tell me I look like Veronica Lake inside of a minute.
-You look better than Veronica Lake. Now, <u>Pierce Patchett</u>.
-He takes a cut of our earnings and invests it for us. He makes us quit the life at thirty. He doesn't let us use narcotics and he doesn't abuse us. Can your policeman's mentality grasp those contradictions?
-He had you cut to look like Veronica Lake?
-Look. I want to see you again.
-Are you asking me for a date or an appointment?
-I don't know.
-If it's a date I think you'd better tell me your first name because I --
-I wondered when you might ring the bell again, Officer White.
-It doesn't matter. All they get is Veronica Lake. You got the real Lynn Margaret Bracken... Where'd this come from?
-When I was ten, my old man threw a bottle at my mother. I guess I got in the way.
-So you saved her.
-Do you like being a cop, Bud?
-You found Patchett. You found me. You're smart enough. Be a detective if that's what you want.
-Did you talk to Exley?
-I want to know about Exley.
-He's the opposite of you. He's more like me. Cold, calculating.
-Come in out of the rain, Bud.
-You gonna tell me what happened with you and Exley?
-We talked.
-So tell me about it.
-In the morning.
-Lad, may I have a word with you?
-This business, Captain?
-Does that paper say we've been indicted? Does it say Exley's a hero for squealing me and Stensland off?
-He made his play amd he got what he wanted. They're making him a detective.
-Captain, what do you want?
-Call me Dudley.
-Dudley, what do you want?
-Lad, I admire your refusal to testify and your loyalty to your partner. I admire you as a policeman, particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjutant to the job. And I am most impressed with your punishment of wife beaters. Do you hate them, Wendell?
-Yeah, I hate them.
-What's going to happen to Stensland? He'll give himself cirrhosis over this. <u>He's one</u> <u>year from his pension</u>.
-It would've happened years ago if you hadn't carried him. Why the loyalty, Wendell?
-He helped me out once. That's all.
-Your partner's through. Department scapegoat on the Chief's orders. He's been billed, he'll be indicted and he'll swing.
-Him and me both. <u>Fucking Exley</u>.
-Don't underestimate his skills. As a politician he exceeds even myself. But the department needs smart men like Exley and... direct men like yourself
-<u>What do you want</u>?
-Wendell, I want you to come to work for me.
-They're yours. Take them.
-I knew you had juice, but... There's no goddamn bill on me?
-Four of the defendants recanted their testimony.
-I need you for an assignment the Chief's given me the go-ahead on. A duty few men are fit for, but you were born for. You'll be working out of Homicide.
-Will you work for me?
-Of course... But how?
-How what, Wendell?
-Give me one minute.
-You're perplexing to me these days, Wendell. You're not your old, cruel self anymore. I need proof that the extracurricular work I had planned for you remains within your grasp.
-What work?
-I've long been involved in containing hard crime in such a way that myself and a few colleagues might someday enjoy a profit dispensation. That day will soon be here and you'll share handsomely. Grand means will be in our hands, Wendell.
-Imagine crime limited to the criminal element who perpetrate it. Imagine the means to keep the nigger filth sedated. But don't stop there. Extrapolate. Imagine the police in control. It's big, lad.
-You lost me, Dudley. I don't know what you're talking about.
-You have your extracurricular secrets, I have mine. We'll hold a clarification session soon. For now, I need your fearsome old habits at the Victory Motel. We're going to brace a man who may know who killed Jack Vincennes. Can I count on you?
-You know him?
-Hey, partner. Grab a cup.
-Don't look so down in the mouth, Bud. You nailed him good.
-Yeah, sure... I got a couple of hours before I have to be at the Victory. Want to grab a beer?
-Rain check me, partner. I got something big going on tonight.
-What? That new mystery girl you've been seeing?
-No. I'll tell you sometime. Not now. Don't want to jinx it. But it could take the edge off that jail time I got coming.
-What are you talking about?
-Mrs. Lefferts, I'm Officer White with the L.A.P.D. I'd like to ask a couple of questions.
-Let my daughter rest in peace.
-Tell me about the boyfriend she had. The one you mentioned at the morgue.
-First I want to go on record as saying that my Susie was a virgin when she died.
-Susie, I told you I didn't approve of that boyfriend. He was too old for you. You let him come into this house and be fresh to me. I went out one day and old Mrs. Jensen next door saw Susan's boyfriend and another man and thought she heard a ruckus.
-What was that boyfriend's name?
-We were never properly introduced. Susan and I were fighting that day. She called him by a nickname. Muns or Lunts or something.
-Stens? Was it Stens?
-Maybe. I don't know.
-That's him. That's him.
-What's through here?
-Don't mind the smell. I think a rat died behind the wall... My Susie was a good girl!
-Easy. Tell me about the ruckus.
-Was it... a rat?
-Where are we going?
-Yeah, that's Stens.
-What happened?
-One in six. Where's the girl?
-A naked guy with a gun? You expect anyone to believe that?
-How's it going to look on your report?
-It'll look like justice. That's what that fat fuck got. <u>Justice</u>.
-Why?
-Lynn.
-I knew Stensland and Meeks knew each other. Meeks was with Sue Lefferts on Christmas Eve. The night I met Lynn. Lefferts' mother I.D.ed Stensland as Lefferts' boyfriend, but Stens pretended he didn't know either one of them.
-Stensland and Meeks. What were they up to?
-Johnny Stompanato told me when Meeks disappeared, he was trying to move the 18 pounds of heroin that went missing when Deuce Perkins was shot.
-<u>Stensland and Buzz Meeks</u>. Two-man triggers knocking off Mickey Cohen lieutenants. When they killed Deuce Perkins, they got heroin as a bonus.
-Then something goes wrong. Meeks gets killed. Maybe Stens got greedy, killed Meeks and left him under his girlfriend's house. The night he died, Stens was all mysterious. Said he had something big going down.
-The Nite Owl! Stensland was going there to sell the heroin.
-Somebody got wind of it, killed them all.
-It wasn't the Negroes. The Griffith Park report was a phony. And, who says the purple Merc was spotted outside the Nite Owl?
-Dudley.
-The first guys to the car when Jack and I got there were Bruening and Carlisle.
-Dudley's guys.
-They didn't find the shotguns. They planted them.
-It all keeps coming back to Dudley.
-Pierce Patchett figures in, too. That's the angle Jack was working. Dudley must work for Patchett.
-Let's just kill them.
-What?
-For Jack, for Stensland, for anybody else who got in the way. I've been trying to be smart. A detective. But killing those two fuckers, that would be justice.
-Stay smart, Bud. We build a case. We play by the rules.
-There are no rules! Why the fuck are you doing this? The Nite Owl made you. You want to tear all that down.
-Let's go see Pierce Patchett. Run a good-cop-bad-cop.
-You expecting problems?
-It's a suicide note. Says he killed Jack because Jack had figured out a pornography scam Patchett was running.
-He had help getting up there. Two of his fingers are broken.
-We had one thing figured wrong. I don't think Dudley workd for Patchett.
-At least not anymore.
-Patchett's dead. He sent you after me. I'd say Dudley's tying up his loose ends.
-Ellis Loew.
-What about him?
-Bud...
-They never made a match on the shotgun serial numbers. What if Breuning and Carlisle took them from the evidence room? Couple of cold pieces that had been hanging around a year or two.
-You wanted to meet here?
-You figured this was a set-up? And you showed up anyway?
-You know, all I ever wanted was to measure up to my father.
-She's fine.
-Are you Pierce Patchett?
-I am. Are you soliciting for police charities? The last time, you people called at my office.
-I'm a homicide detective. Where were you last night?
-I was here, hosting a party. Who was killed and why do you think I can help?
-Richard Stensland.
-I don't know him. Mr...
-Officer White. How about Susan Lefferts? You know her?
-You know I do or you wouldn't be here. How did you find me?
-We met outside Hollywood Liquors on Christmas Eve. This is where Lynn Bracken's booze bills go.
-Of course...
-Where's the other guy? Buzz.
-Thanks, but no thanks.
-Against your code?
-I don't have one. Lefferts looked beat-up Christmas Eve, but didn't act it. How come?
-Do you care about criminal matters peripheral to Susan's murder?
-No.
-Then you wouldn't feel obligated to report them?
-That's right.
-Then listen closely, because I'll only say this once and if it gets repeated, I'll deny it. I run call girls. Lynn Bracken is one of them and so was Susan Lefferts. I treat my girls very well. I have grown daughters, myself, and I don't like the thought of women being hurt. I sense you share this feeling.
-Why were Lefferts' eyes black?
-I think she'd been hit in the face with a tennis racket. She is -- was -- a big doubles fan.
-You wanna go downtown and discuss this officially?
-I needed a Rita Hayworth to fill out my little studio.
-What little studio?
-There's Gardner, Hepburn, Grable, Turner. Lynn Bracken is my Veronica Lake. I use girls who look like movie stars. Sometimes I employ a plastic surgeon.
-That's why her mother couldn't I.D. her... Jesus fucking Christ.
-No, Mr. White. Pierce Morehouse Patchett. Now, I sense you're on your best behavior, but that's all I'll give you. If you persist, I'll meet you with my attorney. Now, would you like Miss Bracken's address? I doubt she knows anything, but --
-I got her address.
-Officer White. I heard you got a hard-on for wife beaters.
-Wendell White, how's tricks, <u>paesano</u>?
-What do you want, <u>officer</u>?
-Should I?
-His file listed you as a known associate. Now spill.
-Oh, yeah. That was a long time ago. Before your day. The last few years he's been muscle for hire. But I heard he's disappeared.
-More.
-How 'bout I give you your balls back?
-Before Meeks disappeared he was popping off about trying to move eighteen pounds of heroin.
-Bullshit. Where would a two-bit ex-cop get 18 pounds of heroin?
-Meeks is probably in Rio or someplace like that by now.
-He's under a tract house in San Berdoo. And he don't smell too good. What happened to the heroin, Johnny?
-Bud White, what brings you down to the basement?
-I got a few Nite Owl questions.
-I don't know if you read the papers, but that case is closed.
-I'm tying up loose ends. Padding my report. You know how it goes.
-What do you want to know?
-Anything off. Anything that didn't make sense.
-Whose shoe?
-Susan Lefferts.
-If she was sitting here, then it's facing the wrong way. What are these smears in the blood?
-It looks like she was flailing, trying to get away.
-But she's moving away from the door. Who was sitting at this table?
-Cotton balls. I found them just inside the meat locker door.
-<u>Ear plugs</u>.
-Exactly. At least one of those animals had the brains to protect his ears.
-It doesn't exactly play like dumb panic.
-What do you mean?
-It's like they knew they were going to kill everyone before they went in...
-Ed, your observations have been astute. What's your assessment of this situation?
-I want to know who we give the public in contrast? The department needs role models. Clean-cut, <u>forthright</u> men the public can admire.
-I'll testify, sir. I'm not afraid to do what's right.
-Ed, you're 30. Your father didn't make lieutenant until he was 33.
-Jack Vincennes. He's the technical advisor on 'Badge of Honor,' sir. He lives for it. That's the way to get him.
-I got the rap sheets on the black guys, sir. Coates and Jones got charges a mile long. But except for some kid stuff, Fontaine's clean.
-Clean?
-More or less.
-Anything?
-Nothing.
-So on active duty, Meeks didn't make an arrest from 1938 to '43.
-Where are the police academy files?
-I don't have time. I have --
-You're twenty-two, aren't you, Ray?
-Say what and so what.
-You look like Robinson after that last LaMotta fight. 'Course LaMotta looked a lot worse. So you're twenty-two, right?
-Man, why do you keep asking me that?
-Just getting my facts straight. Twenty-two makes it a gas chamber bounce. You should have pulled this caper a couple of years ago. Get life, do a little Youth Authority jolt, transfer to Folsom a big man. Orbit on some of that good prison brew, get yourself a sissy --
-I never truck with no sissies!
-That fucking Larry. I almost believed him.
-Believed what?
-Nothing, Ray. That Larry, he's a pisser. You did the Casitas Youth Camp with him, didn't you?
-Ray, you protected Ty and Larry up in Casitas, didn't you?
-I heard you like to shoot dogs.
-Dogs got no reason to live.
-Oh? you feel that way about people, too?
-Man, what're you saying?
-Ray, we got the shotguns.
-I don't own no shotguns.
-Why were you throwing clothes in the building incinerator?
-Say what?
-You guys were arrested this morning, but none of you have last night's clothes. <u>You</u> were seen burning them. Add to that the fact that you hid the car you were cruising around in last night and it doesn't look good.
-I got nothin' more to say till I see a judge.
-Were you on hop? You were passed out when you got arrested. Were you hopped up, Ray?
-Ty and Larry fuck with that shit, not me.
-What do you mean Deuce Perkins got clipped last night?!
-They shot him in his library.
-I don't want a floor plan; I want to know who! Who's taking the ticket for this, Johnny?
-Nobody. At least not yet.
-And what about the merchandise Deuce was holding for me?
-Gone. Not a trace.
-This is Mr. Hudgeons, Wendell.
-I'm happy to cooperate. You don't need to tie me down.
-It's for your own safety. Now what can you tell us about Sergeant John Vincennes?
-Take it easy! I didn't have anything to do with him getting killed if that's what you mean.
-But you were business associates?
-Okay so we worked together. It was an information exchange. I got him first class collars and he got me good stories. We were friends for Chrissakes!
-Okay. Okay. Everyone knows Patchett's worth a boat-load of greenbacks. From aviation, freeway construction. But the man has hobbies, too. He bankrolls B movies under the table and runs movie star look-alike hookers. And try this on: he's rumored to be a periodic heroin sniffer. All in all a powerful behind-the- scenes strange-o.
-And?
-Reciprocity, Mr. Hudgeons, is the key to all relationships.
-And?
-That was his favorite toast. I saw the test results on the lieutenant's exam. You placed first out of twenty-three.
-The youngest applicant by eight years.
-You'll make lieutenant inside a year. Patrol division?
-You're wrong.
-Am I...? Would you be willing to plant corroborative evidence on a suspect you knew was guilty in order to ensure an indictment?
-Dudley, we've been over this.
-Answer yes or no.
-I... No.
-Would you be willing to rig crime scene evidence to support a prosecuting attorney's working hypothesis...? Yes or no, Edmund.
-No.
-Would you be willing to beat confessions out of suspects you knew to be guilty?
-No.
-Would you be willing to shoot hardened criminals in the back to offset the chance --
-No.
-Then for God's sake, don't be a detective. Stick to assignments where you won't have to make those choices. Patrol, Internal Affairs, but not the Bureau.
-I know you mean well, Dudley, but I don't need to do it the way you did. Or my father.
-Stensland's a disgrace. Straight D fitness reports from every C.O. he ever served under. But White is a valuable officer.
-White's a mindless thug.
-You'll reap the benefits, but are you truly prepared to be despised within the department?
-Yes, Dudley. I am.
-You should stay away from a man when his blood is up.
-Sir, I took the call. It's my case.
-Edmund, you don't want it and you can't have it.
-Yes, I do, sir.
-Why?
-We got a call earlier on three Negro youths. Firing shotguns in Griffith Park from a late-model purple Mercury Coupe.
-Ed, I want confessions.
-Don't get sidetracked. Stay with the Nite Owl.
-There are loose ends out there, Dudley. I --
-There always are. But there are also three men and three guns. Matched forensically. A few loose ends don't matter.
-No... Where'd the tip come from?
-I'm loathe to kill my brother officers, Edmund.
-Tell that to Jack Vincennes. To Stensland.
-Jack was a shame, but Dick Stensland had the audacity to try to sell me my own heroin. Through his whore girl friend. I sent him to make the buy. The rest is history.
-Why?
-A vacuum, Edmund. That's what we have in Los Angeles. Sending Mickey Cohen up created it. My containment work maintained it. Certain photographs guarantee it. Organized crime has been held back, but there's still a demand for the services it provides.
-And now you'll provide them.
-<u>No</u>.
-Why not, lad? Absolute justice?
-Something like that.
-John, I doubt you've ever drawn a stupid breath. Don't start now.
-You think golden boy can handle it, Cap?
-John Vincennes. It's three A.M., lad.
-Two minutes, Dudley. It's important.
-You remember Buzz Meeks, Dudley?
-A disgrace as a policeman. Straight D fitness reports from every C.O. he ever served under. What about him?
-Twelve years ago he worked a vice roust with Dick Stensland. They arrested a Pierce Patchett on an extortion scam. Guy ran hookers. He'd have them photographed with their johns, then double-dip for some blackmail. Charges got dropped. Insufficient evidence. You were supervising officer on the case and I was wondering if you remember anything about it.
-What's this all about, lad?
-Part of it has to do with a murder. I've been working with Ed Exley on it.
-You're Narco, lad, not Homicide. And since when do you work with Edmund?
-It's a private investigation. I fucked something up and I want to make amends.
-Have you discussed this with anyone else, John?
-No.
-You're the key witness?
-That's right.
-I should've known. What's the Chief throwing you?
-<u>Throwing me</u>?
-Yeah, Exley. What's the payoff?
-You're the payoff expert. I'm just doing my duty.
-You're playing an angle, college boy. You're getting something out of this so you don't have to hobnob with the fucking rank and file cops who'll hate your guts for snitching. If they're making you a detective, watch out. Some Bureau guys are gonna burn in this and you're gonna have to work with friends of theirs.
-What about you?
-L.A.P.D.
-Damnit...
-What?
-Glasses.
-I need to speak to you.
-Damnit... <u>What</u>?
-I want you to follow Bud White.
-Even I'm not that crazy.
-It's not a request. I need to know what White knows. Follow him or I'll have you pulled off 'Badge of Honor.' Permanently.
-Yesterday that might've meant something. Pull me off. You'd be doing me a big favor.
-Yesterday yes, today no. What happened last night?
-Transfer me, suspend me. Just leave me alone.
-You make a mistake?
-Listen, I think I made a mistake, too.
-I ain't a priest, Lieutenant. I can't hear your confession.
-Do you make the three Negroes for the Nite Owl killings?
-What?
-It's a simple question.
-Is there more to that, or do I have to guess?
-Rollo was a purse snatcher. My father ran into him off duty. He shot my father six times and got away clean. No one even knew who he was. I made the name up to give him some personality.
-So what's the point?
-I'm trying to figure what angle you're playing <u>this</u> time, but I sure as hell can't see one.
-I've given up angles for awhile. I just want to solve this thing.
-The Nite Owl was solved, Lieutenant.
-Okay, college boy, I'll help you. But I want half the collar.
-What's that for?
-Jesus... Maybe White's not so dumb after all.
-Rita Hayworth at the morgue and now Veronica Lake with White. What the hell's going on?
-Movie star hookers. Whatever you desire... It's Fleur-fr-Lis again.
-What's Fleur-de-Lis?
-High line whores. With plastic surgery to look like movie stars. And who knows what else? It's run by this guy Pierce Patchett. You want to talk to him?
-She is Lana Turner.
-What?
-What are you going to do?
-I'm going to Lynn Bracken's. I'll meet you at the Dining Car.
-What's on the call sheet?
-A guy dressed as Santa has been exposing himself to kids in Los Feliz. Apparently, sir, he's decorated himself.
-Decorated?
-With tinsel and plastic icicles and... on his penis, sir.
-I get the idea. You got a description?
-We got a total of forty-five spent 12-gauge Remington shotgun shells. Three men with five-shot-capacity pumps. All of them reloading twice.
-The Nite Owl. Anything bothering you about the case?
-Yeah. The fact that you guys won't let it get filed away.
-What are you talking about?
-We got a dead ex-cop and a girl who looks like Rita Hayworth at the Nite Owl. Another dead ex-cop under the house of Rita's mother. It's not a good week for ex-cops.
-I'll tell you what I told Officer White when he asked me about Susan's death.
-Bud White's been here?
-For the last time. I may suborn women into illicit activities, but they're handsomely compensated, I treat them well and make sure the men they deal with show them every due respect.
-Is the Veronica Lake look-alike one of your whores?
-A vulgar term, but yes.
-What's her name?
-Lynn Bracken.
-Why's she seeing Bud White?
-Why do men and women usually see each other?
-Anything else you want to add before I talk to her?
-No.
-Not good enough.
-Miss Bracken, I'm Lieutenant Exley.
-I know who you are. You're the policeman Bud told me about.
-Really? What did White say?
-Let's concentrate on my smarts. Pierce Patchett made you, didn't he? He taught you how to dress and talk and think and I am very impressed with the results. But I need some answers and if I don't get them, I'm going to take you and Patchett down.
-I'm curious about you.
-It galls you that I know so much about you. You don't have information to compete.
-Don't underestimate me, Miss Bracken.
-How was I?
-Oh, the best I ever had. Absolutely the best.
-You sound like you mean it.
-The silver screen's loss is your gain.
-How about White?
-I want to know why you see him. Is it a Patchett payoff?
-I see Bud because I want to. I see Bud because he can't hide the warmth he has inside him.
-I'll take your word for it.
-Does all that make it harder for you to hate him or easier?
-I don't hate White. I really don't. It's just, in my business, it's the wild cars you have to watch out for.
-You don't like that you don't know how to play him. He doesn't follow the same rules of politics you do. That makes him dangerous.
-You cut to the heart of things, don't you? What about Lynn Bracken? She going to be a hooker all her life?
-I came out here with a dream. That's gone, but I settled for reality.
-Some reality.
-No. This is the means to the reality. But I'm not going to tell you what it is.
-Why not?
-You're tougher than Bud thinks you are.
-You're the first person to ever call me tough.
-Like recognizes like. I'm pretty tough, myself.
-You, me and White, huh?
-If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake.
-A police captain. I think he's behind all of this.
-I work for Patchett. I had a feeling that there was someone else, but I never knew who.
-Okay. Look, if it helps, Bud hates himself for what he did.
-Where will you go?
-Bisbee, Arizona. The air's good for pensioners and I know where everything is.
-When?
-Right now, before I back down.
-Do you think I ever could've been in the running?
-It's okay. These are police. <u>What</u> do you want?
-I want D.A. bureau men to tail Dudley Smith twenty-four hours a day; I want you to get a judge to authorize a wire tap on his home phone; I want authorization to check his bank records and I want it all in an hour.
-On what evidence?
-None. Call it a hunch.
-Absolutely not. Dudley Smith is a highly decorated member of this city's police department and I won't smear his name without --
-Without what, his smearing yours first? What's he got on you, Loew? Pictures of you and an out of work actor with your pants down?
-Do you have any proof?
-The proof had his throat slit. So far you're not denying it.
-Okay! You're right! Dudley's got photos of me and Reynolds.
-It seems like my Susan, but...
-When was the last time you saw her, Mrs. Lefferts?
-Let my Susie rest in peace!
-Mrs. Lefferts, I just want to ask a few questions.
-That other policeman already checked under the house and found not a thing amiss.
-Officer White?
-A sweet man.
-Under the house.
-My daughter was a virgin!
-Big V Jack Vincennes! May I have this dance?
-We did a piece last year. 'Ingenue Dykes In Hollywood.' Her name got mentioned.
-Is she?
-Beats me. Look, Jackie-Boy, a friend of mine just sold some reefer to Matt Reynolds. He's tripping the light fantastic with Tammy Jordan at 2245 Maravilla, Hollywood Hills. It's right around the corner.
-You lost me, Sid. Who?
-Contract players at Metro. You pinch 'em. I do you up feature in the next issue. Plus the usual fifty cash. Tell me, am I fucking Santa Claus?
-I need an extra fifty. Two patrolmen at twenty apiece and a dime for the watch commander at Hollywood Station.
-Jack! It's Christmas!
-They're sitting in the dark, goofing on the Christmas tree.
-Stand there with your camera. I'll stop here so you get Grauman's Chinese in the backgrouns.
-It's Christmas morning in the City of Angels, and while decent citizens sleep the sleep of the righteous, hopheads prowl for marijuana, not knowing that a man is coming to stop them. The free- wheeling, big-time Big V, celebrity crime-stopper, Jack Vincennes, the scourge of grasshoppers and junk fiends everywhere. You like it, Jackie- Boy?
-<u>Hush-Hush</u>. Off the record and on the Q.T.
-Sid, it's Vincennes.
-No. But I've got something going with Ad Vice.
-Something good?
-Not a word.
-What about Fleur-de-Lis? Their slogan's 'Whatever you desire.'
-You're back, boychick.
-Sid, how are they hanging?
-The Grauman's Chinese pot bust. He just got off the honor farm.
-What's he doing here, Sid?
-You tight with the D.A., trash?
-Sure, he just tried to throw me off the force last Christmas as a little joke.
-How'd you like a little payback? Not to mention a donation to the widows and orphans fund. Did you know Loew was a swish?
-And Reynolds?
-Sid, why would a guy like Pierce Patchett get involved with running dope and hookers?
-Where'd you hear that?
-Around.
-Jackie! You got some good scoop for the Sidster?
-Sid, cut the crap. I --
-Shut up!
-What's wrong, Trash?
-What happened with the kid and Loew?
-You didn't get my message? It got called off. The kid chickened out at the last minute.
-He's dead. I was just there. Somebody slit his throat.
-Loew didn't go with him. You're sure?
-Pacific Coast Bell.
-This is Sgt. Vincennes. Requesting a name and address on a phone number. Hollywood zero-one- two-three-nine.
-Please hold the line... No such number is assigned.
-I just called it.
-No, Sergeant. I checked twice.
-Yeah. Sergeant Jack Vincennes requesting. I need the home address on a Pierce Patchett.
-Have we met before?
-Was it a party?
-Something like that.
-Fleaur-de-Lis. 'Whatever you desire.'
-Yeah. Me and Patchett go way back.
-Pierce isn't like regular people. I dig him, but he scares me too.
-Really? How?
-You know, when I came out to L.A., this isn't exactly where I saw myself ending up.
-I'm pretty sure I can get you a part on the show... But tonight? Pretend it's an acting job, kid. Showbiz.
-And no one'll know about this?
-It'll be our secret.
-Gee. The Great Jerk-Off Book Caper of 1953.
-Vincennes, is there someplace you'd rather be?
-Yeah, Cap. Back in Narcotics.
-Oh? Anyplace else?
-Working whores with squad two.
-Brill?
-What happened?
-DePinto's dead.
-Oh Jesus.
-I don't know anything about Zavitz.
-You said he was behind an extortion scheme.
-And you were the last one to talk to him.
-Yes.
-What'd he say to you?
-Nothing.
-What'd he give to you?
-Nothing.
-Don't bullshit me, I can save your life.
-I just gave him my card.
-He didn't give you an address? He didn't give you a phone number?
-Um...who's that?
-Don't know. Did you check everywhere? Maybe it was hidden in something. Maybe there was someone else--
-Someone else?
-209 to anyone! I need some help here!
-It's actually DH-1 Digitech Pinpoint scanning with a frequency modulator.
-I don't know what that means.
-Me neither, but the upshot is I've got color live-action footage of you and Ms Hawkins and it doesn't look good.
-So...how much money do you want in exchange for not ruining my life?
-I don't want any money. And believe me, I have no interest in ruining your life. I'm not interested in this tape.
-Zavitz, what? You want your old job back?
-Listen to me--
-Tired of chasing squirrels around the park?
-Listen--
-Lemme ask you something. I put a bird feeder out in the yard, but the squirrels, they keep taking--
-Turn on CNN.
-They keep taking the bird seed. I thought since you're the expert on--
-Goddammit, shut the fuck up and turn on CNN!
-Alright, I made a joke about squirrels, don't get so--
-You've got it on tape?
-Clear as day.
-No one. But I'm a little nervous.
-When can you get it here?
-I'm doing a transfer now.
-Come straight here. Don't talk to anyone.
-I'll come straight there.
-We've also been informed that the Grand Jury is going to call for an investigation into your affairs.
-Why?
-It is?
-Tell us about Rachel Banks.
-What kind of a question is that?
-A direct one.
-Why don't you just call Brill directly.
-I don't know who he is.
-I'm told you had an affair with Rachel Banks four years ago.
-Told by whom?
-Considering the enormous exposure to which you've subjected this firm, I'd think you'd do best to simply answer my questions.
-Really?
-Yes.
-You knew the deal. No contact.
-Who was that other guy?
-One of many people who would live a word with you.
-Who are they?
-You've heard of the National Security Agency?
-What do they have to do with this?
-That's who they are.
-The NSA?
-Yes.
-You're crazy.
-Okay.
-Wait.
-You drive a black BMW, license plate SRK1339?
-Yeah.
-What <u>is</u> that?
-It's a SAT-tracker.
-I don't know what that means.
-Like a LowJack, but two generations ahead of what the police use. It pulses at 230 Giga-Hertz.
-I don't know what that means.
-230 Giga-Hertz. They use that band for the Aquacade Spy-SAT uplinks.
-I don't know what that means.
-It means the NSA can read the time off your wristwatch.
-Why are they after <u>me</u>?
-If I knew, they'd be after <u>me</u>. Which they probably are right now. 'Bye.
-Wait. What do I do?
-Why don't they just identify themselves and tell me what they want?
-They're spooks.
-I don't know what that--
-Exposure. They can't have it. They wanna learn what you know and then deal with it.
-I don't know <u>anything</u>.
-No shit.
-What am I gonna do?! I mean, like, for the rest of my <u>life</u>?!
-Hey, if you live another week I'll be impressed.
-What if--
-What if I find out what they're after. You know these people, I don't.
-And you won't. Now move--
-I'll pay you.
-How many years have <u>you</u> been hiding from them? How many years have you been running? What'd they do to you?
-Get dressed. We're leaving.
-You could knock on the door, you know, and I'd open it.
-I taped it off the 11 o'clock news.
-And you were worried about me. That's nice, I appreciate--
-I was worried about my hundred and twenty 'K'.
-We said a hundred.
-The price rises with the temperature and right now you're smokin'. But you're right, you should shop around and get the best price. I'll just let you out here.
-Did you call anyone?
-What do you mean?
-I mean did you call anyone.
-Look, my wife is understandably--
-Jesus!
-I called my wife!
-What'd I tell you?
-I didn't use my name.
-What'd I tell you?
-I called from a payphone!
-What'd I tell you?
-You told me no calls.
-Sorry.
-You don't get it. They go through your phone records. They fuckin' monitor everyone you called in the last--
-I didn't use my name.
-The NSA's been in bed with the entire tele-communications industry since the 40's. They've infected everything: Banks, computers, phones, mail, name it. The more technology we buy into, the easier it is keeping tabs on us. It's a brave new world. At least it better be.
-How do you know so much?
-None of your business.
-You used to work for 'em, didn't you?
-I intercepted phone calls.
-How'd you get around the tap orders?
-They can tap anything as along as it's an airwave intercept. Cellulars and pagers your kid can do. Hard-line calls we'd pick off the relays as they were being fed into ground cables or fired up to the SATs. We'd suck in everything. All foreign, most domestic. Domestic was my group. Druggies, radicals, loud-mouths. Anyone we wanted.
-How'd you have the manpower to--
-Meade has 18 underground acres of computers. They scan <u>every</u> phonecall for target words like "bomb" or "President". We red-flag phone numbers or voice prints...whatever we wanted. When the computers found something, it was bounced to comparative analysis.
-Jesus.
-That was twenty years ago. With digital? They can suck a salt grain off a beach.
-Why'd you leave?
-It was '72. I figured we had enough problems without monitoring a Berkeley kid's class schedule. So I sold my story to <u>Ramparts</u> and split.
-They come after you?
-What do you think?
-Looks like Detroit.
-That is one ugly sunrise.
-It really is. Did you find anything?
-Remember when Senator Hamersley died in an accident up near Shenandoah?
-Yeah.
-The NSA killed him.
-Jesus. Do you have proof?
-Well, actually, <u>you</u> have proof. Could you walk a little faster please.
-What's going on?
-They're here.
-Who?
-Them.
-Where?
-Here?
-<u>Here</u>?!
-In the warehouse. They're hiding in a duct on the third floor. When we go back inside, they're gonna kill us. When they notice that we're moving toward the car, they'll come running out of the building.
-Empty 'em 'till they're almost flat. And turn your head. There might be some debris flying your way.
-What the fuck?!
-Gimme that.
-You sure?
-You're driving.
-Those are Feds.
-Think we let out enough air?
-We lost 'em.
-That wasn't so hard.
-Fuckin-A.
-Let's not do the tire thing anymore, okay?
-These guys are incredibly persistent.
-Drive.
-We're not gonna hurt you.
-Drive.
-Tell him we're not gonna hurt him.
-Drive or I'll blow your fuckin' head off.
-No he won't.
-Goddammit--
-Listen to you, "directly". You're not gonna get <u>near</u> the News Department. And if you did, it'd never get on the air. Time-Life buried the Zapruder film for 15 years.
-What about newspapers and magazines?
-Same thing?
-So what do we do now?
-I was thinkin' about asking for my hundred and fifty grand and calling it quits.
-What if we do a mailing to Congressmen.
-What if we hand deliver to their homes or office?
-The area's wired for surveillance, they'll be <u>looking</u> for those moves.
-Well how do <u>I</u> know what they're--
-What if we transmitted it over cellular?
-Listen--
-Nah, they'd shut down the pin number.
-What if--
-If they couldn't do that, they'd shut down the whole system, all the relays.
-What if--
-They've done it before. Takes maybe two minutes.
-What if--
-What if <u>what</u>?
-What if we just fucked with 'em?
-How?
-Same way they did with you and me. We take their biggest guy and turn him into one of us.
-Reynolds.
-No.
-You wanna get caught spying on Albert?
-We're gonna lead Albert by the nose to one conclusion. And then when he's pissed as hell, we're gonna drop the tape in his lap. How fast can you teach me what I need to know?
-Pretty fast.
-What do you know about locking cellular phone signals?
-I know my phone number and I know the number for SportsPhone. Beyond that--
-What are you dialing?
-He came in four minutes ago.
-Feeling lucky?
-Baudmore Consultants.
-Is Jerry Delsano in?
-Who's calling?
-It's Pat Cary. I work for Senator Sam Albert and I was given Jerry's name.
-Jerry's on vacation 'till Monday. I can give him the message when he gets back. That was Patrick and the last name--
-The thing is...it really can't wait.
---Don't think it could've gone any better. Tell me, how's Deb? How're my grandchildren?
-Well, sir, I'm afraid it's not as simple as that. Your average newspaper guy or Hard Copy lady or whatever, they can't buy this stuff.
-Well then who can?
-Ah, sir, you know, it's not for me to say.
-What do you mean? Who can buy this kind of equipment.
-The thing is, Senator, and I don't want to get in the middle of nothing, but--
-What are you saying?
-Most of this stuff's only available to law enforcement.
-Law enforcement?
-FBI, CIA, NSA, local cops.
-I yanked this off your RV. It's a Global Positioning Tracker.
-Oh my God.
-Tracks your location to the inch and works directly with--you know...
-With what?
-With spy satellites. I don't like saying these things Senator...
-Neil, thank you for your help.
-Hi, Mr. Dean.
-Is it okay?
-Hey, Mr. D., what's happenin'?
-Dylan, I was just asking Eric if--
-Oh, God, I <u>knew</u> it was stupid, I <u>knew</u> we'd get caught. But the Gameboy was just <u>sitting</u> there. Right on top of the bag. Yes. Yes. We took the GameBoy out of the bag, but with every intention of putting it back.
-Do you see anything you like?
-I'm married.
-That's fine.
-I'm married to my wife...of several years...and I'd like to buy...as a Christmas present...
-You'd like to buy your wife some lingerie as a Christmas gift.
-Yes. I have her permission.
-It's okay. I think it's a wonderful gift.
-Can you help me?
-How 'bout Christian Dior?
-Is that good?
-Very good.
-I don't know anything about this. Well, I mean, I know a <u>little</u> about--from a certain perspective. My point is, I don't want to do anything foolish.
-It's a little late for that.
-I'll say.
-What size?
-Pardon?
-What size?
-Eight. Size eight.
-I'll be right back.
-Thanks.
-Remain calm.
-I think she'll like this very much.
-Listen, Daniel, hang on one second.
-For that matter, I think you will too.
-I know, but--
-<u>Wildlife</u> footage, for God's sake. I don't see how he could've slipped you something that the FBI would be interested in.
-That's my point.
-<u>What's</u> your point.
-Well, I need to find out as much about Daniel as possible.
-Why?
-Because my life is being ruined.
-Yes?
-I didn't want to bother you during your racquetball game.
-I'm sorry. Detective Morelos.
-Hey, did you guys find my stuff?
-Your stuff?
-The robbery.
-No, sir, I'm not involved with that. I'm doing a quick follow-up on a bus accident took place a few nights ago. Your name keeps coming up.
-Oh...yeah, I didn't see the accident.
-Witnesses said you were there, but I notice you didn't file a report.
-A report?
-A police report.
-That's 'cause I <u>wasn't</u> there.
-You weren't at Harrison's Department Store the night before--
-I was <u>in</u> the store, the accident was outside. It was a bus.
-Someone said you spoke to Mr. Zavitz before he died. I thought you might know something.
-About what?
-About the accident.
-I'm no expert, but I'm assuming that the impact of a moving bus against his body caused--
-Mr. Zavitz was in trouble.
-What kind of trouble.
-You tell me.
-I can't.
-Are you invoking attorney/client privilege.
-I'm not his attorney.
-Than why can't you tell me.
-Because I don't know.
-I'm just trying to determine if Mr. Zavitz was involved in something more than a simple bus accident.
-Than why don't you talk to the bus driver?
-Why so edgy, Mr. Dean?
-Somebody took my blender.
-We'd appreciate your cooperation.
-Did he give you anything?
-No.
-Anything at all?
-No, sir.
-Was he with anyone?
-Not that I could see.
-Nobody gave you <u>anything</u>?
-No.
-Why'd you go to Harrison's?
-To buy lingerie.
-For your wife?
-<u>Yes</u>, for my wife, what the hell kinds of questions are these.
-I don't know what's goin' on with Zavitz, but that was way, <u>way</u> outa line. You understand?
-Hey.
-This guy's a fat-assed Rotarian gasbag.
-Uh-oh.
-Bobby!
-Not a very good one, but--
-So you tap everyone's phone? You use computers to probe financial records? New Search and Seizure laws?
-Just for the criminals.
-We won't suspend the civil rights of the good people.
-Right.
-You should take this seriously.
-You're a lawyer. Don't you care what's going on around you?
-Something bad happened tonight.
-What?
-I saw a man die.
-What do you mean?
-In front of Harrison's, he got hit by a bus. I knew him. The firm did some pro bono work for his organization a few years back.
-I'm sorry.
-The thing is, when I saw him, it seemed like he wanted to tell me... ...he was upset about something and he said... Doesn't matter now. I'm gonna wash up.
-What'd you buy at Harrison's?
-Bobby?
-Yeah.
-How'd you get the information on DePinto?
-What do you mean?
-Who did you work with to get the--
-A guy named Brill. Same guy as always.
-Yeah, but you said you've never met him. How did you--
-Honey, I don't like to talk about this stuff in front of Eric.
-Have you been working with Rachel?
-No.
-Sorry.
-I don't understand why Jerry couldn't clear this up.
-Well, you know--
-He's got his priorities?
-Stacy?
-How could you let me find out like this?
-Stacy, I found out like this. This is the first I'm <u>hearing</u> of--
-Robert--
-It's not true.
-"Sources revealed an FBI investigation into a possible money laundering scheme that may have sent millions of dollars--
-I've seen it.
-"At the center of the investigation are well-known Washington-area attorneys Robert Dean and Rachel Banks."
-You <u>swore</u>!
-I have lunch with Rachel once a month. She's my connection to an investigator.
-I told you I didn't want you seeing her.
-I know.
-You had an affair with this woman, Robert, we went to a fucking <u>counselor</u> for a year.
-I see her for business.
-You told me you weren't seeing her at <u>all</u>.
-The date stamp on the picture is last <u>month</u>. Is that where you and Rachel conduct business.
-It's not real... That's not me.
-Oh, please--
-It's not a real picture, Stacy, it's been doctored-up.
-I think you should leave now, Robert.
-Stacy--
-Stacy, don't hang up.
-Do you know what I'm looking at Robert?
-Stacy--
-I'm looking at a picture of you and Rachel taken <u>yesterday</u>.
-I know, but listen--
-Was that doctored-up, too?
-No, I was with her yesterday. I want you to take Eric and go to our parents house. I want you to do it right now.
-I went to the grocery store. My ATM and credit cards didn't work. I couldn't buy food.
-I know.
-I went to the bank to see why. They said you emptied our accounts--
-It wasn't me.
-This is science-fiction Robert! The manager showed me the transfer notice with your signature on it.
-Stacy, somebody's trying to kill me. Now goddamit--
-Is Eric in school?
-Yes.
-Has anyone been by? Police? FBI?
-Just reporters.
-I wish you'd gone to your parents like I asked you.
-This is my house. Nobody's kicking me out of my house. I picked those drapes.
-I don't think anybody wants the drapes, Stacy, I think the drapes are okay.
-What happened to your head?
-Does that hurt?
-Well...yeah.
-Good.
-I <u>told</u> you they could do this. I <u>told</u> you they had this kind of capability and that with this anti- terrorism it would be just another--
-I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
-That's okay.
-I opened the present you got me from Harrison's.
-You opened the thing?
-The lingerie.
-That was for Christmas.
-I was missing you.
-...who root through...uh...presents, and...
-What is it?
-Are you sure you're safe?
-They're saying you killed that policeman.
-Is it over?
-It's really over?
-Albert's gonna get me my job back.
-I'm sorry about Rachel.
-Yeah. I wish you could've met...
-Who?
-A friend of mine. I don't know his real name. He's dead now.
-I'm sorry, sir, this card's been declined.
-It's a brand new card.
-Maybe it's not connected yet.
-My suitcase--
-Sir?
-I'm sure we can locate it for you, sir.
-What can I do for you?
-Well, I was hoping you might stop by my office to swear out a criminal deposition against some of your friends and co-workers.
-Is this a fuckin' joke?
-I don't believe it is, no.
-Why the hell would I--
-I've got photographs of you at the Trenton Ramada looking very--
-That ain't me.
-It's not?
-You don't know who the fuck--
-That's not you having a whiskey sour with Carmine Morada.
-This is fucked. You don't know <u>who's</u> in that--
-You're right, Mr. DePinto, and maybe I jumped the gun.
-You're goddam right you jumped the gun.
-That's probably not you in the picture. I tell you what, I'll just run the thing by the Grand Jury, see if they can't--
-I want to talk to a goddam lawyer.
-I'm sorry. I'm not sure I understand. You wanna fuckin' <u>what</u>?
-Actually, that's not true.
-You didn't squeeze DePinto?
-No, I meant I'm Presbyterian.
-Oh.
-And then what?
-How's the trout?
-It tastes like fish.
-It is fish.
-I mean it tastes like every other fish I've ever had. Every fish tastes the same.
-Do you like fish?
-Here's what you asked for. Brill's note said it was everything you'd need to, shall we say, coax DePinto--
-When do I get to meet him?
-DePinto?
-Brill.
-Never.
-That wasn't the answer I was hoping for.
-"Soon". Or at least sooner than never.
-It's how he works.
-Brill?
-Yes.
-Ten thousand cash. I don't know if it's Brill's prices going up or your commission.
-I take a straight 15 percent. Brill's fee varies with risk. Perhaps you'd be more comfortable using someone else.
-Other than Brill.
-Other than me.
-Why would I--
-Someone with whom you don't have quite so personal a--
-I <u>like</u> our history. And I like you. I'd probably like <u>Brill</u> if I ever got to--
-He doesn't work that way.
-I just want to make sure I'm not breaking the law.
-You're not.
-How can I be sure.
-I wouldn't let you. Good luck with DePinto.
-Thank you.
-Eat your fish.
-I got a call from my firm this morning saying don't come in.
-Why?
-There are reporters wanting to know about my relationship with you and how long I've worked for the mob. The <u>mob</u>, Bobby!
-Good. You're just what I need right now.
-You got a minute?
-It's really not a good idea for me to be seen with you.
-Who's doing this?
-I gotta go.
-I know.
-The IRS contacted me this morning. They say my lifestyle and receipts exceed my income.
-You being audited?
-For the last four years.
-My firm'll represent you. Free of charge.
-You don't work there anymore, Bobby.
-That's temporary.
-Bullshit.
-Rachel--
-We're screwed.
-I'm gonna fix it.
-How?
-I can't.
-You have to.
-I've never met him?
-Fuck you. When you needed information, I got it. You didn't care how.
-I <u>did</u> care how.
-This conversation's over.
-What're you gonna do, Rachel? You gonna sit in a bar in Baltimore? You want your job back? You want a life?
-I don't <u>have</u> a life, Bobby. I'm in love with a married man.
-I'm sorry about that.
-What makes you think it's you?
-It's not me?
-You're a moron, you know that?
-Any idea what he looks like?
-Yeah?
-We'd like to ask you some questions about Daniel Zavitz.
-Who <u>are</u> you people?
-I'm an investigator with Pro-Tech Security.
-I went through this with an investigator this morning. If I could--
-Mr. Zavitz was involved in an extortion scheme. We believe he passed you sensitive materials, possibly with your knowledge, and we need to--
-He didn't.
-We believe he did.
-You're wrong.
-We have good reason to believe that he passed you--
-If he passed me materials, I'd have them. I don't.
-We'd like to recover any materials Mr. Zavitz may have given you--
-He didn't <u>give</u> me--
---otherwise we may have to--
-Otherwise you may have to what?
-We'd rather not--
-He didn't <u>give</u> me--
---otherwise we may have to--
-Otherwise you may have to what?
-We'd rather not--
-Jesus! What?! You want money?!
-Your shoe.
-My shoe?
-Hey!
-Forget me, forget what I did for you. Don't <u>ever</u> mention my name or try to contact me again. Get it?
-I don't <u>know</u> you, I don't <u>know</u> your name, I don't know <u>what</u> the hell you did for me except hang up on my wife and slam me into a wall, but I'm getting pretty fuckin' <u>sick</u> of this! Get it?!
-Seat 74.
-God knows I would, sir, but I have a previous engagement this evening.
-And may I ask what could possibly be more important than Fawell Oil v. U.S. Environmental Agency?
-Diane, maybe you didn't hear Mr. Silverberg. They've got models that'll try on the garments. Thank you, sir.
-Listen--
-I got a call this morning from a source I trust. The Post is running a lead this afternoon about your involvement in the Bellmoth investigation.
-They claim you helped create a shell company for Sam Vollotti in Zurich and that through your continuing relationship, the Gambino family's been able to exert influence and provide false witnesses to discredit our case.
-Robert--
-What's his name?
-Gentlemen--
-This is <u>bullshit</u>. Someone's mixing up a bunch of half-truths to ruin me and to ruin my case.
-Who would do that?
-Maybe Bellmoth. Maybe the unions. I don't know.
-Well until we find, you're gonna have to take a leave of absence.
-You're firing me.
-A leave of absence. Until we've sorted this all out.
-Put David on it. He seems anxious to clear my name.
-Bobby--
-Well that's why I'm here, Mr. Dean. 'Cause you're a labor lawyer.
-Good point.
-Last night, Larry Spinks, he works the Steel Press, he goes to a bar with his wife Rosalie to have a glass of chianti 'cause it's his birthday, and these two guys, these Guido mother-fuckers, they jump him when he goes to the bathroom.
-L.T., in this office I'd prefer you say Italian-Americans.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Dean. But Larry's in St. Lukes now, so I'm a little--I'm not myself. The Union bosses say unless we take Bellmoth's offer, it'll only get worse.
-That's because your Union bosses <u>are</u> those Guido mother-fuckers.
-I don't under--
-The Union's trying to railroad you into accepting terms worse than what you have now.
-Because they've been paid off by Bellmoth.
-Mr. Dean--
-Robert--
-Where's Stacy?
-She doesn't want to talk to you.
-What are you talking--
-She can't talk to you right now.
-Why?
-Excuse me, have any of you seen an eight year old boy, good looking, about yea-big.
-You're learning a cruel lesson.
-Are those my Christmas presents?
-Some of 'em.
-Can I open 'em up?
-Sure, go ahead.
-Really?
-In your dreams.
-Dad!
-He's kidding.
-Where's mom?
-Dad!
-Do I know you?
-Where've you been?
-Having an adventure. I can't tell you about it right now, but I'll tell you about it soon.
-Are you and mom getting a divorce?
-No. We're never getting a divorce. We were having a fight. It happens sometimes.
-Who won the fight?
-Men don't win fights with women, son, I'll tell you about that sometime, too. In the meantime, I've got a question for you, and it's incredibly important that you tell me the truth. Under no circumstances will I be angry with you. This is a total Get-Out-Of- Jail-Free card. Ready?
-Yeah.
-How long can you stay?
-It's okay to use the phone.
-Alright!
-They took the espresso machine. The <i>espresso</i> machine, Jerry! Which makes sense, you know, because the crooks probably wanted to make themselves a latte before fencing the stereo.
-Did they take your clothes?
-No.
-You've got a bunch of Armani suits, they didn't take 'em?
-No.
-Usually they take clothes.
-Why don't you give 'em a call.
-What about jewelry?
-They didn't take the jewelry. They took the computers. They took the big-screen TV, they took my blender.
-The blender?
-I love my blender.
-They didn't take the silverware?
-No, but they took my blender.
-Sounds like they didn't want anything that wasn't electric?
-What?
-They only took electrical appliances.
-Can I talk to you a second?
-Table 122?
-That's what I want to talk to you about?
-The Congressman's very happy to have your support, but he's heard that there's an investigation.
-An investigation? It was a bus accident.
-He's heard that it's escalated.
-Into what?
-Your Bellmoth case. The FBI thinks there might be mob ties.
-I'm a labor lawyer. There are <u>always</u> mob ties.
-Jerry--
-Christ!
-Ssh!
-Bobby--
-It's the NSA. They're the ones doing this.
-Bobby--
-The NSA's doing this 'cause they think I have something. And they killed--
-Calm down.
-They killed Rachel.
-Rachel's dead?
-Yes.
-Jesus.
-My stuff's all over her apartment.
-Bobby--
-They're framing me.
-Why would they--
-I don't know. I mean--
-Why would the NSA--
-I don't know!
-You're tired.
-Jerry--
-Listen to me.
-You gotta--
-No, listen to me. You gotta let me bring you in.
-No, I--
-You gotta let me bring you in to the police.
-I won't <u>make</u> it to the police. They won't let me get there. You go.
-To the cops?
-To the NSA. Make a deal. Tell 'em to stop. Tell 'em I don't have what they're after. Make a deal.
-Bobby, you're in way over your head.
-Go to 'em, Jerry.
-I have a family.
-I'm sorry, man.
-Bobby? Piece of advice?
-Yeah?
-Turn yourself in.
-Jerry?
-Yeah?
-It's me, Robert Dean. From Seth, Silverberg. I worked on--
-Bobby--
-It's been a few years.
-Yeah.
-I'm just doing some Christmas shopping. It's for my wife, no kidding. Though, this isn't the <i>main</i> present, it's just, you know, a little--
-I need help.
-Tell me about it.
-How can I reach you?
-Are you okay?
-Are you still in Crystal City?
-Dick Burns got a phone call this morning from someone wanting information on you.
-The police?
-No. He said they were doing a credit check. Are you refinancing a loan?
-You remember Daniel Zavitz?
-Yeah.
-He got hit by a bus.
-What does that have to do with you?
-Was Zavitz in trouble?
-You think there was a connection to--
-What is it you want?
-Well we'd sure like to help you.
-You would?
-Yes. But we can't.
-Why not?
-What's your opinion?
-It's hard to say for certain, these things are--
-I'm not asking you to say for certain. This is what you're trained to do, right?
-Yes sir.
-Then what's your goddam opinion?
-Zavitz had digital compression equipment. He could've downloaded into something. A disk, a chip, anything small enough to put in his pocket and run with. Whatever he put it in, he dropped it in that bag.
-"I know thy works and thy labour and how thou canst not bear them that are evil. And thou hast tried them who say they are apostles and hast found them to be liars". Revelations II.
-What the hell does it mean?
-It means who's side are you on?
-You didn't ask me to meet you 30 miles from my office for a Bible study class.
-It's a bi-partisan issue. Everyone needs to swallow hard. No one, including you, wants to be fingered as the one obstructing efforts to crack down on terrorism, and--
-Fuck you.
-What?
-I said fuck you.
-Is that anyway to talk to an old school chum?
-You're gonna finger me as soft on terrorism? <i>Terrorism,</i> you unconscionable asshole?
-There are planes falling out of the sky, buildings blowing up. <i>American</i> buildings. <i>Americans</i> getting bombs in the mail. What are we gonna do!?
-What happened?
-He's dead. An accident. Hit by a bus.
-What about the tapes?
-We found the originals.
-The originals?
-There was a transfer.
-Am I to understand--
-He never made it to the newspaper, but there was private sector contact.
-Who?
-Several indiscriminates and one primary who we've ID'd as Robert Dean. A Crystal City attorney. Mr. Reynolds? Sir?
-We'd have to--
-He's arrogant and threatening. Voice stress points suggest he's worrying.
-Hiding something?
-It was in his bag. Now it's not.
-30 minutes ago you said we had him. What in hell's goin' on out there?
-He had help.
-I sit on top of the greatest intelligence gathering organization in human history. Why can't I bring in a man whose name <i>is in the</i> <i><u>fucking</i></u> <i><u>phonebook</i></u>?!
-He's clever. He had help.
-He's clever? He had help? Oh.
-Sir--
-No, no, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were hoping to be transferred to a weathership outside Greenland.
-I just meant--
-We found two sets of latent prints in the rubble of Brill's studio. One was Dean's. The other, we believe, belongs to Brill.
-We believe?
-Well...his real name's Edward Lyle.
-Lyle?!
-Yes sir.
-You're kidding me.
-No sir.
-Dean's with Lyle.
-And they have the video. That's confirmed.
-So they know everything.
-If they've looked at the video.
-Oh, let's assume that they have.
-If he's with Lyle it means he's got resources.
-What about--
-We don't know.
-Jones had to flee the scene before we could locate the second body.
-What about the tape?
-We think it was on Brill. If it was, it's destroyed now.
-Found him. Kent Island nailed the call five minutes ago. He's stationary.
-Do you have visual?
-Not yet. He's near "M" and 34th. I've got an ELSUR unit on the scene now. A residential building. Twelve units.
-What's your ETA?
-Three minutes. We're going in light. Myself and two others. Everyone else is held back in reserve.
-Yes?
-Federal Express for 'Zavitz'.
-Federal Express?
-For Daniel Zavitz. I just need a signature.
-How'd you get in the building?
-We're not stupid, Reynolds.
-The fuck do you have goin' on with Sam Albert?
-This guy's carrying the <u>flag</u> for the damn terrorism bill. You think this is the best time to piss him off?
-You have any idea what kind of position this--
-It was pulsing on your SAT frequencies.
-Yes?
-Puffed cheese?
-No thank you.
-I also have tiny pizzas and mushrooms stuffed with--
-Do I look like I want a tiny pizza?
-No.
-Then let's assume I don't.
-Now is that clear?
-Thank you.
-I wanted to meet a man who could write such a long paper with so few adjectives.
-Isn't Zerzura supposed to be protected by spirits who take on the shape of sandstorms?
-I can't sing. but I can tell a story. I might need a prompt. Do you have your Herodotus? I've noticed you carry it
-Daskylus
-How much did you pay?
-Hello! Good morning.
-They don't see foreign women in this market. How much did you pay?
-Seven pounds, eight, I suppose. Why?
-Which stall?
-Excuse me?
-You've been cheated, don't worry, we'll take it back.
-I don't want to go back.
-This is not worth eight pounds, Mrs. Clifton.
-I don't care to bargain.
-That insults them.
-I don't believe that. I think you are insulted by me, somehow. You're a foreigner too, aren't you, here, in this market?
-I should be very happy to obtain the correct price for this. I apologize if I appear abrupt. I am rusty at social graces. How do you find Cairo? Did you visit the Pyramids?
-Why did you follow me yesterday?
-Excuse me?
-After the market, you followed me to the hotel.
-I was concerned. As I said, women in that part of Cairo, a European women, I felt obliged to.
-You felt obliged to.
-As the wife of one of our party.
-This is an incredible story - about a man hunting an Ostrich, he's been telling me about Zerzura, he thinks he's been there, but his map, the route he's describing, he couldn't survive the journey now, but he's a poet, so his map is poetry - and now we're onto an Ostrich. I'm telling her your map is poetry. The Arab shrugs.
-What do you mean, poetry?
-A mountain curved like a woman's back, a plateau the shape of an ear.
-Sounds perfectly clear. Where does the Ostrich come in?
-What is he saying? Come on, what did he say?
-He said - be careful.
-Be careful? You mean you - or me? Who?
-Actually, you sing.
-Pardon?
-You sing. All the time.
-I do not.
-What's this?
-I thought you might paste them into your book.
-We took several photographs, there's no need.
-I'd like you to have them.
-There's really no need. This is just a scrapbook. I should feel obliged. Thank you.
-You should come into the shelter.
-I'm quite all right, thank you.
-What am I looking at?
-See what's happening to them - the stars.
-They're so untidy. I'm just trying to rearrange them.
-This is not very good, is it?
-No.
-Shall we be all right?
-Yes. Absolutely.
-- there is the Harmattan, a red wind. Which Mariners called the sea of darkness. Red sand from this wind has flown as far as the south coast of England, producing showers so dense they were mistaken for blood. Almasy checks to see if Katharine is still awake.
-Fiction. We had a house on that coast and it never rained blood. Go on. More.
-Madox will have calculated how many miles, they'll soon turn around.
-Could I ask you, please, to paste you paintings into my book? I should like to have them. I should be honored.
-Of course. Is it, am I a terrible coward to ask how much water we have?
-Water? Yes, we have water, we have a little in our can, we have water in the radiator which can be drunk. Not at all cowardly, extremely practical. Come on, come on! There's also a plant - I've never seen it but I'm told you can cut a piece the size of a heart from this plant and the next day it will be
-Geoffrey's not in Cairo. He's not actually a buffoon. And the plane wasn't a wedding present. It belongs to the British Government. They want aerial maps of the whole North Africa. So I think he's in Ethiopia. In case you were counting on his sudden appearance.
-And the marriage - is that a fiction?
-Do they know them?
-Will you not come in?
-No.
-Will you please come in?
-Mrs. Clifton - Katharine turns, disgusted.
-Don't.
-I'm impressed you can sew.
-Good.
-You sew very badly.
-You don't sew at all!
-A woman should never learn to sew, and if she can she should never admit to it. Close your eyes.
-When were you most happy?
-Now.
-When were you least happy?
-Now.
-Okay. And what do you love? Say everything.
-What else?
-Marmite - addicted! Baths - not with other people! Islands. Your handwriting. I could go on all day. My husband. Almásy nods.
-What do you hate most?
-A lie. What do you hate most?
-Say you're sick.
-What? No!
-Say you're feeling faint - the sun.
-No.
-I can still taste you.
-This is empty, just coming!
-This is - what is this?
-It's a folk song.
-Arabic?
-No, no, it's Hungarian. My daijka sang it to me.
-It's beautiful. What's it about?
-Ouch! See - you're always beating me..!
-This - what's it called? - this place, I love it - this is mine! I'm asking the King permission to call it the Almasy Bosphorous.
-Madox knows, I think. He's tried to warn me. He keeps talking about Anna Karenina. I think it's his idea of a man-to-man chat. Its my idea of a man-to-man chat.
-This is a different world - is what I tell myself. A different life. And here I am a different wife.
-I don't care to bargain. It's full of saffron, just in case you think I'm giving it to you to encourage your sewing.
-That day, had you followed me to the market?
-Of course. You didn't need to slap my face to make me feel as if you'd slapped my face.
-Shall we be all right?
-I'd better get back. Say goodbye here.
-I just know - any minute he'll find out, we'll barge into somebody we'll - and it will ill him.
-I just wanted you to know. I'm not missing you yet. She nods, can't find this funny.
-Why did you hold his collar?
-What?
-What? What? That boy, that little boy, you were holding his collar, gripping his collar, what for?
-Would you let me pass?
-Is he next? Do you drag him into your little room? Where is it? Is this it?
-Don't do this.
-I've watched you - on verandahs, at Garden Parties, at the Races - how can you stand there? How can you ever smile? As if your life hadn't capsized?
-You know why? He tries to hold her. She resists
-Dance with me.
-No.
-Dance with me. I want to touch you. I want the things which are mine. Which belong to me.
-Katharine! Oh dear God, Katharine - what are you doing here?
-Why did he bring you?
-Please don't move me. It hurts too much.
-We've got to get you out of here.
-It hurts too much.
-Why did you hate me?
-What?
-Don't you know you drove everybody mad?
-Don't talk.
-You're wearing the thimble.
-It's so cold.
-I know. I'm sorry. I'll make a fire. I'll be back.
-Don't leave me!
-Shall we be all right?
-Yes. Absolutely.
-Oh dear.
-Do you promise? I wouldn't want to die here. I wouldn't want to die in the desert. I've always had a rather elaborate funeral in mind, with particular hymns. Very English. And I know exactly where I want to be buried. In our garden. Where I grew up. With a view of the sea. So promise me you'll come back for you.
-And a good read. Don't waste it.
-Thank you. Will you bury Geoffrey? I know he's dead.
-I'm sorry, Katharine.
-I know.
-Tell me about your garden.
-A broken car?
-Uxoriousness - that's my favorite kind of love. Excessive love of one's wife.
-What kind of photographs?
-Safe journey.
-You too. Good luck!
-Clifton - your wife - do you think it's appropriate to leave her?
-Appropriate?
-I think the desert is, it's - for a woman - it's very tough, I wonder if it's not too much for her.
-Are you mad? Katharine loves it here. She told me yesterday.
-All the same, I, were I you I would be concerned -
-I've known Katharine since she was three, my aunt is her aunt, we were practically brother and sister before we were man and wife. I think I'd know what is and what isn't too much for her. I think she's know herself.
-Very well.
-Have you seen Katharine?
-What?
-It's Geoffrey under this.
-Oops! Mustn't say International. Dirty word. Filthy word. His Majesty! Die Führer! Il Duce.
-Sorry, what's your point?
-Good morning!
-Could I trouble you for some water?
-Yes, of course. So, golly, where have you come from?
-I desperately need a jeep. There's been an accident.
-I see.
-No, I'm not thinking clearly - I need a doctor too, to come with me, can I take this vehicle? I'll pay, of course - and some morphine and Seventy miles - I can be back here by dusk.
-Do you have your papers, sir?
-What?
-If I could just see some identification.
-Am I not talking sense? - forgive me, I'm, I've been walking, I've - there's a woman badly injured at Gilf Kebir, in the Cave of Swimmers. I am a member of the Royal Geographical Society.
-Right. And what's your name, sir?
-Count Laszlo de Almásy. The Officer is writing this down. A glance at his Corporal.
-Almásy - would you mind just spelling that for me? What nationality would that be?
-Look, listen to me. A woman is dying - my wife! - is dying seventy miles from here. I have been walking for three days! I don't want to spell my name, I want you to give me this jeep!
-I understand you are agitated - perhaps you would like to sit down while I radio back to HQ -
-What did you think you were doing in his tent?
-Looking for the fossils. Why should we wait until we're in London? This girl was probably twelve years old.
-You shouldn't go into another man's tent. It's inexcusable.
-Her hands and feet were tied.
-What did you do?
-I looked at them. They're shrubs, small trees. Exquisite. And fossilized, rock hard. He walks away to the nose of the plane.
-I was talking about the girl.
-I'll be back as quick as I can. Thirty-six hours at the outside.
-Try to get a second radiator, we'll bury it between here and the Pottery Hill. And a better jack. We planned badly.
-And I'm telling you there's nothing there to explore.
-No, because you can't see from the air! If you could explore from the air life would be very simple! Look! What is that? Is that a wadi? That whole spur is a real possibility
-Which we've overflown twice.
-And where are the Expedition Maps?
-In my room.
-Those maps belong to His Majesty's Government. They're confidential. They shouldn't be left lying around for any Tom, Dick or Mary to have sight of.
-What's the matter with you?
-Why do they care about our maps?
-What do we find in the desert? Arrow heads, spears. In a war, if you own the desert, you own North Africa.
-I believe I'm rather late.
-Look, either shut up, or go home.
-Had a letter from my wife. The wisteria is still out, which I'm looking forward to. She says Dorset is gripped with Invasion Fever. Wrong coast I should have thought, still
-Right.
-Bermann thinks he'll be interned, poor fellow. I'm going to do what I can, but And D'Ag turns out to be a great admirer of Mussolini. So now you can say I told you so.
-I told you so.
-We didn't care about countries. Did we? Brits, Arabs, Hungarians, Germans. None of that mattered, did it? It was something finer than that.
-Yes. It was. Thanks for the compass. I'll look after it for you.
-When's Clifton picking you up?
-Tomorrow afternoon. Don't worry. I'll be ready.
-I have to teach myself not to read too much into everything. Comes of too long having to read so much into hardly anything at all.
-Goodbye, my friend. They shake hands.
-May God make safety your companion.
-Hey! Hey! Stop this jeep! Let me out of here - there's a woman dying, there's a woman dying while I'm - Hey!
-Shut-up!
-Please - I beg you, I beg you, I beg you, please listen to me, this is a terrible mistake. Just stop, please, and listen to me. My wife is dying.
-Listen, Fritz, if I have to listen to another word from you I'll give you a fucking good hiding.
-Fritz? What are you talking about? Who's Fritz?
-How are you?
-Okay.
-Your leg will be fine. A lot of shrapnel came out - I saved you the pieces.
-No, I'll get you some tea. Wait till you're in Naples. You'll find a girl there.
-Just kiss me. It would mean such a lot to me.
-Would it? She kisses him, very softly, on the lips.
-David Caravaggio.
-No.
-Petty thief, six months imprisonment Kingston Penitentiary, 1937.
-Is this you?
-I don't know.
-It is you. This was taken in Cairo at British Headquarters - July 41. And so was this - August 41. And this -February 42.
-It's impossible. I was buying or selling something. I've been to Cairo many times.
-Yes, I've been asking for weeks, a month, I don't know, also my leg was -
-We don't have a doctor, but we do have a nurse.
-Why is there so much nose? I can't hear myself think! Look - give me something. So we can all get out of this room. A name. A code. It's too hot.
-Well, you must know. You were brought up Libya, yes?
-Don't cut me.
-Or was it Toronto?
-Go! Hey! Go! Caravaggio is in terror.
-Buon' Giorno! Hana turns, startled and suspicious.
-Are you Hana?
-What do you want?
-I met your friend Mary. She said I should stop and see if you were okay. Apparently we're neighbors - my house is two blocks from yours in Montreal. Cabot, north of Laurier. Bonjour.
-They're fresh. I haven't eaten an egg in have you noticed there are chickens? You get chickens in Italy but no eggs. In Africa there were always eggs, but never chickens. Who separates them?
-You were in Africa?
-Yeah, for a while.
-So was my Patient.
-I'd like to stay. That's the long and short of it. I mean, you know blah-blah if it's convenient, if there's room blah-blah-blah. I have to do some work here -I speak the language. There are Partisans to be - -we embrace them and see if we can relieve them of their weapons, you know - while we hug. I was a thief, so
-So you can shoot a pistol?
-No.
-If you said yes I would have had a reason. You should let me redress those bandages. Before you go.
-I'm okay. Look, it's a big house. We needn't disturb each other. I can shoot a pistol! I'll sleep in the stables. I don't care where I sleep. I don't sleep.
-Because we're fine here. I don't know what Mary told you about me, but I don't need company, I don't need to be looked at.
-Supper. Hana calls after him.
-Where've you been?
-I could help you. I could get you off that.
-It's a week. We didn't know where you were - or if you coming back, or -
-You should be happy. What were you going to do for him when it ran out? He pulls out more phials from his jacket.
-What do you do? What are you doing here?
-Hana? Hana? Are you alright?
-Don't touch me if you're going to try and fuck me.
-You have to protect yourself from sadness. This is the thing I've learned. You're in love with him, aren't you? Your patient. Do you think he's a saint or something? Because of the way he looks? I don't think he is.
-I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with ghosts. And so is he. He's in love with ghosts.
-Who are his ghosts?
-Ask him.
-What if I told you he did this to me?
-What? How could he have? When?
-I'm one of his ghosts and he wouldn't even know. It's like he slammed a door in Cairo and it trapped my fucking hands in Tobruk.
-I don't know what that means.
-Ask him. Ask your saint who he is. Ask him who he's killed.
-Where did you find that?
-I liberated it.
-I think that's called looting.
-Well, then ask him his name!
-Buon' giorno.
-She can take you as far as Florence.
-Hello.
-Thief, I think, is more accurate.
-I understand you were in Africa. Whereabouts?
-Oh, all over.
-I think anybody she ever loves tends to die on her.
-Are you planning to be the exception?
-Me? You've got the wrong end of the stick, old boy. So - Caravaggio - Hana thinks you invented your name.
-And you've forgotten yours.
-I told her you would never invent such a preposterous name.
-Are you outside? A beat and then Caravaggio shuffles in. Like an old boxer.
-I can't hide anymore. I breathe like a dog. I lose my balance. Stealing's got harder. Caravaggio stares at the Herodotus.
-Why do I feel if I had your book I would know everything?
-Is it you? If I said Moose I look different, fuck, why shouldn't you?
-Moose.
-First wedding anniversary - what do you call it?
-Thought you'd never wake up!
-Irving Berlin.
-For?
-Top Hat.
-Have a drink.
-I've had a drink. Fatal.
-Well, anything you do is likely to be fatal, so you know -
-What? You and Madox? Or you and Katharine Clifton?
-Hana tells me you're leaving.
-There are going to be trials, they want me to interpret, don't they know I'm allergic to courtrooms?
-So, I come across the Hospital Convoy I was looking for this stuff, and some nurse, Mary, Hana's friend, tells me about you and Hana, hiding in a monastery, in purdah, whatever it is - retreat - how you'd come in from the Desert and you were burned and you didn't know your name but you knew the words to every song there was
-Me?
-I'd seen you writing in that book. At the Embassy in Cairo, when I had thumbs and you had a face. And a name.
-I see.
-Before you went over to the Germans, before you got Rommel's spy across the desert and inside British headquarters. He took some pretty good photographs - I saw mine in that torture room in Tobruk, so they made an impression.
-And you thought you'd come and settle the score?
-You were the only man who knew the desert well enough, the only man who would cross seventeen hundred miles of nothing.
-I had to get back to the desert. I made a promise. The rest meant nothing to me.
-What did you say?
-The rest meant nothing to me.
-There was a result to what you did. It wasn't just another expedition. It did this. If the British hadn't unearthed your nosey photographer in Cairo thousands of people could have died.
-Thousands of people did die, just different people.
-But you were among the British, they were your friends - why betray them?
-And did you never see Katharine? You never got back to the Cave?
-You get to the morning and the poison leaks away, doesn't it? Black nights, fucking black nights, when you want to howl like a dog. I thought I would kill you. You killed my friends, you ruined my hands. But the girl was always here, like some Guardian Angel.
-You can't kill me. I died years ago.
-But then the Queen looked up and saw Gyges concealed in the shadows. And though she said nothing, she shuddered. The next day she sent for Gyges and challenged him. And hearing his story, she said this -
-The team is in mourning, darling.
-I was just saying, I'm going to cable Downing Street, see if I can't stir up a few shillings - Katharine's mother and the PM's wife are best -
-Darling, for goodness' sake!
-Why do you think? About my staying?
-Well look, if nobody minds, truly, then I suppose - I shall, of course, be bereft
-Oh.
-Darling, I just heard. You poor sausage, are you all right?
-I'm fine. I got hot.
-Lady H said she thought you might be -
-I'm not pregnant. I'm hot. I'm too hot.
-Right.
-Aren't you?
-Sweltering. Come on, I'll take you home.
-Can't we really go home? I can't breathe. Aren't you dying for green, anything green, or rain, wouldn't you die to feel rain on your face? It's Christmas and it's all - I don't know - if you asked me I'd go home tomorrow. If you wanted.
-Sweetheart, you know we can't go home, there might be a war.
-Geoffrey, you do so love putting on a disguise.
-I do so love you. What do you smell of?
-What?
-Marvelous plane. Did you look?
-Isn't it? Wedding present from Katharine's parents. I'm calling it Rupert Bear. Hello. Geoffrey Clifton.
-I think you know all of us, except for Geoffrey and Katharine Clifton, who've recently come out from England.
-Apprentices.
-Of course. Well, we should all go out onto the terrace.
-Oh no, really. She has her book.
-Good heavens, are you married, Madox?
-And a special thank you to Geoffrey and Katharine, without whose fund raising heroics we should still be kicking our heels. They toast the Cliftons.
-To arm-twisting.
-Did Katharine say? - Geoffrey has to fly back to Cairo.
-There was a Prince, who was dying, and he was carried up the tower at Pisa so he could die with a view of the Tuscan Hills. Am I that Prince? Hana laughs.
-What was all the banging? Were you fighting rats or the entire German army?
-Before you find too many uses for these books would you read some to me?
-I think they're all in Italian, but I'll look, yes. What about your own book?
-Oh - I've found plums. We have plums in the orchard. We have an orchard! She has peeled a plum and now slips it into his mouth.
-I will hide you in the room where we sleep, said Candaules. She stumbles over the word.
-Candaules
-Candaules you're laughing at me.
-I'm not laughing at you. Go on, please.
-Are you asleep?
-I should try and move your bed. I want you to be able to see the view. It's good, it's a view from a monastery.
-I can already see.
-How? How can you see anything?
-Not the window - I can't bear the light anyway - no, I can see all the way to the desert. I've found the lost fossils.
-Zerzura, the White City of Acacias, the Oasis of Little Birds. As me about the scent of acacia - it's in this room. I can smell it. The taste of tea so black it falls into your mouth. I can taste it. I'm chewing the mint. Is there sand in my eyes? Are you cleaning sand from my ears?
-No sand. That's your drugs speaking.
-I can see my wife in that view.
-Are you remembering more?
-Could I have a cigarette?
-Are you crazy?
-Why are you so determined to keep me alive?
-There's a man downstairs. He brought us eggs. He might stay.
-Why? Can he lay eggs?
-He's Canadian.
-Why are people always so happy when they collide with someone from the same place? What happened in Montreal when you passed a man in the street - did you invite him to live with you?
-He needn't disturb you.
-Me? He can't. I'm already disturbed.
-Excuse me -
-Yes?
-Can I ask - my friend, can he come in? Just for a few minutes?
-Your friend?
-He's going back to the front this evening. I can't see him otherwise.
-Just go off. I'll be quite all right.
-No, I can't go, but if it, if you weren't offended, it would be very good of you to allow us - every other cabin is crammed. This is as private as we'll get.
-Well then - yes. Of course.
-This is Captain McGann.
-Something smells so rich. My stomach is heaving -
-He came back, he says he caught a rabbit. I'm cooking it.
-That's a different dress.
-He keeps asking me questions about you. Do you know him? Do you recognize him?
-Could I ask you to move? I'm sorry - but when you turn, the sheets, I can't really bear the sheets moving over me. Sorry.
-Tell me about this, this is in your handwriting - December 22nd - Betrayals in war are childlike compared with our betrayals during peace. New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything - for the heart is an organ of fire I love that, I believe that. Who is K?
-He wants us to move out, says there could be fifty more mines in the building. He thinks I'm mad because I laughed at him. He's Indian, he wears a turban.
-I'll probably marry him.
-Really? That's sudden.
-I liked it better when there were just the two of us.
-Why? Is he staying?
-With his Sergeant. A Mr. Hardy.
-We should charge! Doesn't anyone have a job to do?
-They have to clear all the local roads of mines. That's a big job. They won't stay in the house. They're putting up their tent in the garden.
-Good morning. Did you know that? You're always singing?
-I've been told that before.
-Arguing about books.
-You like him, don't you? Your voice changes.
-I don't think it does. Anyway, he's indifferent to me.
-Hana was just telling me that you were indifferent -
-Hey! -
-I'm still here.
-You'd better be.
-Why don't you go? You should sleep.
-Who knows the Bosphorus Hug?
-Never heard of it.
-There's meant to be lace in the next village - the boys are taking me.
-I'm not sewing anything else.
-You don't have any money, do you? Just in case there's silk.
-No!
-I'm not sewing anything else for you!
-Where's your Stuart from? Somewhere near there, isn't it?
-Excuse me. Yes? I don't have the key to that door.
-The Germans were here. The Germans were all over this area. They left mines everywhere. Pianos were their favorite hiding places.
-I see. Then may be you're safe as long as you only play Bach. He's German. Kip is looking around the piano. Hana giggles.
-Is something funny?
-No, but, no, not at all. I'm sorry. You came to the doors, that's all and - - such good manners for someone worried about mines. That's all.
-I've met you before.
-Try this. I found a great jar of it. Olive oil. In Naples this was so precious it would have bought you a wife.
-For my hair?
-I'll get another tin. Hana and the Patient are alone.
-It's okay - I'll help. Please.
-The mines, the wires, there's a trick. Some explode if you stretch the wires, some if you cut them.
-What do I do?
-There's a mine here, but the others are far enough away, I think at least to give me a chance. I have to work out which one to cut before I fall over.
-So I follow the wires?
-You get Hardy.
-Why would anyone do this?
-What is this business with you and explosives? Do you think you're immune?
-I promise you that was the right thing to do. He's my good luck. Now cut. This one. I hope we don't die.
-Okay. Get away from here. Quick.
-I'm not scared. So many people have died around me. But I would be a shame for us. I don't feel like being shy.
-You must get away. Before I cut. I'm not cutting if you're here. He's struggling. He's going to topple over if he cuts.
-Actually, you can't cut, can you? You'll fall over. Give me the pliers.
-No. But he hands them over.
-Kiss me. Before I cut. Just in case.
-Don't go. I'm frightened. I can love a coward, I can't love another dead man.
-Kip - come and dance with me
-I was thinking yesterday - yesterday! - the Patient, Hardy: they're everything that's good about England. I couldn't even say what that was. We didn't exchange two personal words, and we've been together through some terrible things, some - he was engaged to a girl in the village! - I mean - and us - he never once He didn't ask me if I
-If one night I didn't come to the tent, what would you do?
-I try not to expect you.
-But if it got late and I hadn't shown up?
-Then I'd think there must be a reason.
-What are you up to?
-That gun at Lahor, Kipling's cannon - Zamzammah - remember? That was made out of the metal of ordinary things. I want to make an ordinary thing out of guns. His bayonet is thrust into the forge. It's red hot.
-When I went to England I was amazed at what went on, the waste - I'd been taught to re-use everything, the dung from a cow to cool a radiator, a fork to fix a typewriter - India could live for a hundred years on what I saw thrown away.
-I should go to the house, get breakfast.
-This is hot!
-Will you come with me?
-Of course. When?
-I mean home. India.
-Kip I -
-I know - here I am always a brown man, there you would be always a white woman.
-Is that what you think? Is that what you think I think?
-It's what I've learned.
-I've clung to you. I've clung to you. Kip. Life a raft.
-I'll always go back to that church. Look at my painting.
-I'll always go back to that church.
-The war's over - you told me yourself. How can it be desertion?
-It's not over everywhere. I didn't mean literally.
-It's not safe here. The whole country's crawling with Bandits and Germans and God knows what. It's madness. I can't allow it. You're not, this is natural - it's shock. For all of us. Hana -
-I need morphine. A lot. And a pistol.
-And what if he really is a spy?
-He can't even move.
-Why Picton?
-Third Canadian Fusiliers.
-He's gone, hasn't he?
-No. He's - no.
-Hello.
-Hello miss.
-I was going to say - if you want to eat with us, ever you and Lieutenant Singh
-Very kind of you, we can always eat in the town with the others -
-Since Caravaggio turned up - food seems to appear, so please.
-I'll ask the Lieutenant. But thank you.
-You saved my life. I haven't forgotten. I thought you were very very tall. You seemed to big - a Giant - and I felt like a child who can't keep her balance.
-I was looking for the Lieutenant Singh.
-He's sleeping.
-Only we have to go to work.
-I'll tell him. What is it? Is it a mine?
-A bomb. At the Viaduct. She closes the door, then reappears.
-Does he have to go?
-Pardon me?
-Whoa - give me a chance!
-I've got a surprise. A boat! We can go to Capri. It's got a cabin, it's private.
-I'd like to spend a night with you in a bed.
-You've got a mustache.
-A bit of one.
-I was looking forward to this evening.
-I had a hotel room.
-I thought that was for when we were very very old?
-Hey! Hey! Stop! Hey!
-What's happening? Am I needed?
-You've got to cut, sir, that frost won't last.
-Go away.
-Yessir.
-Your book. Your Herodotus! Almásy looks uncomfortable.
-Mrs. Clifton, you'll have to forgive us. We're not accustomed to the company of women.
-I'm afraid we're not having much luck obtaining funds for the expedition.
-How awful. What will you do?
-Darling, Peter says I could stay
-Certainly not.
-Katharine!
-You should sit down, darling. She's quite all right. Are you pregnant?
-I don't think so.
-How romantic. With Fiona I fell over every five minutes. Ronnie Christened me Lady Downfall.
-I think I might go inside and sit down for a few minutes.
-I'll come with you.
-Brick platform opposite the old Ajaib-Gher -
-- The Wonder House comma as the natives called the Lahore Museum.
-It's still there, the cannon, outside the museum. It was made of metal cups and bowls taken from every household in the city as tax, then melted down. Then later they fired the cannon at my people - comma - The natives.
-So what do you really object to - the writer or what he's writing about?
-What I really object to, Uncle, is your finishing all my condensed milk. And the message everywhere in your book - however slowly I read it - that the best destiny for India is to be ruled by the British.
-This is wonderful!
-Kip?
-I looked up to you, Uncle. My brother always said I was a fool. Never trust the British, he said: the deal-makers, the map-makers; never shake hands with them.
-What are you talking about?
-They're excited! They're happy about destroying a whole city. Would they do that to a White Man's City? Never!
-What about your rank or serial number?
-Am I being interrogated? You should be trying to trick me. Ask me about Tottenham Hotspur. Or Buckingham Palace. About Marmite - I was addicted. Or make me speak German, which I can, by the way.
-Why? Are you German?
-No.
-How do you know you're not German if you don't remember anything?
-You tell me. I remember a lot of things. I remember a garden, plunging down to the sea - the Devil's Chimney we called it - and there was a cottage at the bottom, right on the shore, nothing between you and France.
-This was your garden?
-Or my wife's.
-Then you were married?
-Where were you? I called at 4:30 this morning.
-You didn't answer the beeper either.
-I hardly knew the guy. Why be impolite to strangers?
-I don't recall authorizing you to have a personal life.
-A thief this good could handle the sensors in the rooms. What we don't get is how he effectuated his entry.
-Through a window.
-The windows don't open.
-So he popped the pane?
-That's great if you're a computer. In the real world that pane weighs 200 pounds. The building's 600 feet high.
-He unscrewed the bolts, reset them on rollers, then slid the whole frame away. No more effort than it takes to vacuum a floor.
-You ordering chop suey again?
-Meaning--
-And the draft blew over the flowers.
-Mac's signature.
-Give me a break. Remember Manzini? When he stole Montezuma's scepter he left a Pepto Bismal bottle. The best ones always copy Mac.
-You're saying the thief wants us to think it's Mac but it's really not.
-They've never caught him before, what makes you think they'll catch him now?
-You got a better idea?
-We've got to catch him in the act.
-Why didn't I think of that?
-It's not the thinking of it, it's the doing it.
-I've been following this guy for years. I'm your best shot.
-How would you approach him? Hello, Mr. MacDougal, I'm Gin, would you steal a painting with me?
-That's doable.
-And a target guaranteed to catch his interest.
-You don't call, you don't write.
-This was my first excuse to get away. I can't exactly use my cell phone.
-Yeah yeah yeah. What's the status?
-We're getting close.
-How close?
-I don't know, but close.
-This is dangerous. I'm sending backup.
-You, want to blow the whole thing, go right ahead.
-Don't overestimate yourself.
-Look, trust me. I know what I'm doing.
-Where are you at least?
-Gin? Where the hell are you?
-I'm in the middle.
-In the middle? You've got the Mask, why don't we have him?
-He's on to something bigger.
-Listen to me. Whatever you're doing, stop. Pull out.
-Too late now.
-Tell me where you are, or just leave the line open so I can trace you.
-I have a question...
-Who am I?
-Why are we speaking Chinese?
-Uh. I'm showing off.
-A billion people speak Chinese. Don't be too impressed with yourself. As for that scroll, I can resell it for double. In 30 minutes.
-No you can't.
-I can't?
-How about if I try humility.
-Mr. MacDougal.
-I'm sorry about the scroll, but sometimes you have to lose to win.
-Where did you hear that, one of those American talk shows? Check, please.
-I don't want to waste your time.
-Then don't.
-Believe me, if you weren't so tiresome, I'd have one for you.
-You have a car?
-Uh, yes.
-Seems I am.
-I'll call an ambulance.
-You disappeared.
-You seemed to be handling everything quite nicely.
-Are you...okay?
-It was only a scratch. Far more damaging to my trousers than to me.
-I don't care about the damned car. My luggage's been stolen.
-Yes. But they don't have a clue. Why would anyone steal my luggage?
-Maybe the thief thought you had something valuable. You are in the business, that's what Roki says.
-Like I would have art in my suitcase.
-Of course you wouldn't. The Rembrandt wouldn't fit.
-I've got something...
-You're not taking me seriously.
-I didn't expect you to be so...
-So what?
-Do you mind?
-You...you can't.
-You're shaking. Are you nervous?
-No. Why would I be?
-I've got something for you.
-And I thought we were getting on so well.
-We were, we are, but this is perfect for you.
-Are you under the impression that now I'm in some way obligated to you?
-Well, no...but...
-For God's sake.
-The Empress Death Mask.
-Somewhat better than that temple scroll you were bidding on.
-That old pirate Chiang Kai Shek personally took this to Taiwan when he was run out of China in 1949. Peking would dearly love to have this back...
-I suspected it might be worthy of your interest.
-I know.
-But Roki said--
-Roki has a vivid imagination.
-Besides, if I lacked certain ethical scruples about the ownership of property--which I do not--I wouldn't need a partner, much less a callow girl. I'd do it myself.
-You can't.
-Oh?
-We going somewhere?
-Possibly.
-Maybe I should drive this time.
-Very nice.
-You want me to pick up a painting?
-Quite a good one. A Monet. Not major, but it is Giverney.
-I'm not here to run errands. I'm here for the Mask.
-It's a test.
-Fine. What do I do?
-How much am I paying?
-It's a fake.
-Give him the card.
-But--
-I'm telling you it's a forgery. The paint's still wet for God's sake.
-A film case.
-He says they turned the card down.
-Damn, I knew I forgot something.
-What the hell do I do now?
-What the hell was that?
-Not bad. I didn't expect you to make it out.
-Motorcycle.
-It's one way.
-We're going to die, aren't we...
-What about your bags?
-Those are my clothes.
-You stole my luggage? You--
-I'm a thief. Sue me.
-That's entrapment.
-I don't believe this.
-What's your problem? I'm doing the job.
-What's my problem? You want a list?
-Lose something?
-I'm just curious what sort of security system you'd have in your own house.
-And--
-I'm impressed. Can't spot a thing.
-Nothing? You don't even lock the door?
-Why are we in separate--you know, separate rooms?
-You're late.
-And good morning.
-Good morning.
-Nice spot.
-I know it well.
-As I recall, you've robbed it before.
-Years ago, if memory serves. When does the exhibit end?
-Only a week?
-They're having a farewell party the last night. Before the Mask goes back to Taiwan.
-So the Duke dug a tunnel--just in case. They made the lake a hundred years later. Flooded the tunnel.
-We? Are you implying that I'm taking you inside?
-We're doing this together. We're partners.
-I go in alone.
-Pack up. I'll see you get back to London.
-Look, I can help. You need a sensor expert. You've got one.
-You don't have any idea how lucky you are!
-A lifelong problem, I'm afraid.
-Nice try. Everyone thinks I did.
-That's because I wanted them to!
-I wondered who'd been giving me a bad name.
-I drilled the bolts and went in through the window. It was the only way to bypass the smart glass.
-True enough.
-The Rembrandt--that was quite good.
-Someone was expecting that.
-I'll need that.
-No one <u>needs</u> anything except food and shelter. The rest we just want.
-Don't worry, I can get rid of this. No trace. And I'll even go fifty fifty, we're partners aren't we?
-On what? Another job?
-We get the Mask I'll tell you.
-A partner with secrets isn't much of a partner.
-Without the Mask it doesn't matter.
-So the Mask is part of the down payment too. Must be a really big job.
-So you're testing <u>me</u> now?
-Why don't we take oxygen?
-Let's do it again.
-Did I hear a car?
-Our equipment has arrived.
-All this, this is a woman's version of what you would like.
-I didn't mean to get personal.
-So how long to pop the floor?
-Twenty four seconds--as long as it takes the clock to strike twelve.
-And you've checked the ram to be sure it's synchronized with the clock.
-A dozen times.
-Got it.
-Charged?
-That's it. We're ready.
-I trust it's your size.
-You bought this for me?
-Thank you.
-No, no, I want to. I'll just go into the village.
-Won't take any time.
-Certainly the most beautiful crook I've ever seen.
-Aren't we early?
-To us. To the Mask.
-You're nervous again.
-When I was a girl my father took me to the edge of El Capitan. Three thousand feet of granite. Straight down. I was so scared my mouth was full of cotton. I couldn't talk, just stood there shivering...like this.
-You were afraid of heights?
-Terrified. Still am.
-How in the devil did you do the Rembrandt then?
-I had a lifeline. If I've got a lifeline, I'm okay.
-Aren't we all.
-He wasn't.
-So you had to be your own lifeline.
-And--
-Camera in the--
-Bookshelf. Sensors--
-Popup, on floorboards. And--
-We're working.
-It's a party.
-One, two, three...
-Don't turn. I'm counting the steps to the entrance.
-These rooms are solid stone. They haven't changed.
-You can't be too careful.
-Ready?
-Can you see the other PIRs?
-They moved it.
-Be careful not to break the laser beams.
-Careful...careful.
-We did it.
-Now's when you tell me who you really are.
-You're playing both sides of the street. You're going to keep the Mask and turn me in.
-Okay, you're a thief.
-Yes. Yes.
-STOP! You're making...mistake.
-It's your mistake.
-The big job.
-What?
-Your share.
-We're living history here.
-I like banks. That's where the money is.
-If you want a partner, I think you should recalculate the split.
-No, really, it's your plan, you should get at least 30 per cent--
-My eighty, your twenty, smart guy--
-Come on, what can you do with six billion you can't do with four?
-Hmmm...44 long.
-You've got everything planned.
-I'll need the Rembrandt now.
-Sure, it's only worth 25 million or so, don't bother telling me what you're going to do with it.
-Insidious thing, wondering if your partner...has another partner.
-Okay, look, I'm delivering this to a man who's going to give us the key to our job. But it's pointless to try to explain it yet. You just have to trust me. I don't have any more secrets.
-Idle hands, the devil's workshop.
-The Mask. Where is it?
-Do you know what you've done!? Do you know?
-Oh my god, I thought--
-What about the rules?
-Well...What are we doing?
-Currency data so we can do optimum conversions at the moment of transfer.
-Transfer.
-The eight billion. From them to us.
-What's that?
-Peoples China Bank.
-It's taken me five years at Webber Insurance, nights, weekends, every spare minute, to make this CD. It has all the necessary instructions and confirmation codes to tell their computer to transfer reasonably modest sums out of thousands of those accounts, two, or three million at a crack. Total, eight billion and change.
-And the money goes--
-Every wire transfer gets rocketed through a series of multiple switches. As soon as each deposit lands somewhere, it's shot somewhere else. It ends up so clean the Mafia couldn't find it.
-But those instructions, they're recorded in the computer.
-Nope. The CD instructs the computer to replace those instructions with an innocuous loan coded XJ-6.
-A parting gift from the Empire.
-The oscilloscope's already programmed.
-Got it.
-Then the vault, how to get in the vault, that's stumping me.
-That's where the Mask comes in.
-So how long till we do this?
-You can't be serious.
-That's the beauty of it. There's only one tiny window of time when this will work. At the handover of Hong Kong--from Britain to China. The handover from them to us.
-You're out of your mind. We can't do a job like this with no rehearsal.
-There's no way to practice this. And no time. Besides, I've planned it all. There aren't any surprises.
-There's always a surprise.
-I've covered everything. And you're the best, so--
-You're overestimating yourself again. What's worse, this time you're overestimating me.
-Look, there's a video security system to bypass, that's the only hard part. You've done that a dozen times.
-For God's sake, the only way I can get from one elevator to the other is to jump.
-How do I look?
-Access codes to the vault are changed daily, passwords for our computer on the hour...
-Can't be too careful.
-Two men in the world don't need passwords or codes. Their retinas will scan to unlock everything. one of those two men is the chairman of the bank.
-Pulse detectors.
-Charged.
-Parachute.
-Done. And I assume you have the magic CD- ROM?
-No way to take another day or two?
-You shouldn't have.
-Can't break tradition. It's bad luck.
-You have something in mind?
-That was a lifetime ago.
-It was wrong to deceive you.
-But would you--would you--
-Of course not. It was just a negotiating ploy.
-Nothing like fear of drowning to focus your attention.
-So what are you going to do with your share?
-Oh, I don't care about the money.
-Four billion dollars.
-Seen one billion, seen them all.
-That's because you grew up rich.
-Not for me.
-I'm going to disappear. I die in a car crash in Taiwan. Very easy to do.
-They drive so recklessly there.
-The sign of our partnership.
-And when, eventually, everyone discovers what transaction XJ6 was really about...
-China will think it happened before midnight. Britain will swear it happened after midnight...
-Jesus God, it's going through.
-Relax, don't jam it...
-Don't panic, now, there's no rush...
-MOVE IT, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING F...
-The disc is still in there.
-The door's the only way out!
-Jesus.
-Come on.
-No way.
-Hang on.
-I cannot get rid of you.
-Put this on!
-What's wrong.
-Take the airport subway, but change at Jordan Station for Kowloon Tong.
-But--
-It's only ninety seconds up the line. You're on a connection to a trans Siberian express.
-You have the right to remain silent. But anything you say may be taken down in evidence and used against you--
---You're a cop.
-He looks familiar.
-They've been on to you all along. Knew you had a big job going.
-You gave them the eight billion.
-A true master. Classic, yet extremely sexual, don't you think?
-We need to make the trade tomorrow.
-Always in a rush.
-You should know, when I come back here with the Mask--if anything goes wrong, a detailed description of everything you've done goes to the PRC.
-Gin, really.
-I'm not real big on collecting banged up Ferraris at airports.
-They work off the O2 tank just like the slice pack.
-Which is--
-In the van.
-Tina was a wonderful woman.
-I'd give you a hand but it wouldn't look good.
-Yeah, the lord of the manor doesn't haul his own groceries.
-The porta power...comm kits...got the IR/Thermo camera?
-Had to get a liquid plasma screen.
-The key to success is using the right tools.
-You're not the one trying to get all this shit. You think they've just got a Crooks R Us on every corner?
-We're going to need a vacuum with a battery pack for the dust. The air filters might be wired. And a bypass hose for the AC.
-Sure wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable.
-If we don't bypass it, the temperature in the Mask room will change and set off the alarm. That would be inconvenient.
-Inconvenient is trying to find a pulsing laser with magic arms in two days.
-We might not want to cash in our chips just yet. She has another job after this one. A big one.
-This is big enough.
-Let me ask you, this Mask, when they made it--was the old bitch dead or alive?
-Right.
-Because I never assume anything.
-I need you to get one more thing for me. A dress, elegant but sexy, something Grace Kelly would wear. Maybe a Balenciaga.
-That's it, I sure as hell ain't no personal shopper.
-I'd say she's a size 6 who wears a size 4.
-Oh, it is.
-I said a masked ball, not a costume party.
-How the hell I'm supposed to know the damn difference?
-You look like George Washington.
-I cannot tell you a goddamned lie. She's selling you a pig in a poke. We better do this tonight.
-It's too soon.
-The early bird gets the damn worm.
-So patience, Thibeau, patience. Trust me.
-Remind me why.
-You two make quite a couple.
-We're supposed to.
-You better not be taking on a new partner.
-Suspicious, after all these years?
-Oh, look at me, darling. I thought this gentleman was a waiter.
-You damn well thought wrong.
-Tonight your league night?
-Doesn't look like much. How come those Commos want it so bad?
-It's not just art, it's history. Something you Americans don't care about--because you haven't got any.
-This is just show and tell.
-I'm waiting for the tell part.
-She's calling the shots now.
-You're impressed with her, aren't you?
-She's good. Give her that. Almost as good as she thinks she is.
-My antenna is up, it is fully extended, and I am picking up...what is it? It is, can it be? The boy is in el, u, v.
-It's never happened before. What makes you think it's happening now?
-You better be keeping your mind on business. It's not just me you got to worry about. I've got some very unpleasant folks looking over my shoulder.
-You know where my loyalties lie.
-You'll just have to have faith.
-Faith is angels dancing on the head of a pin. I got to have trust.
-Thirty-five next generation microchips. Copper, not silicon. Value: one million each.
-You're giving them to me?
-Call it an expression of trust.
-Thought you had to use some of these.
-Take this mask. It may look like the Empress, but it's not.
-I figured that out.
-The face decays, the mask doesn't. Art lasts, we don't. That's why art's so valuable. It's a little piece of immortality.
-You got a real problem with priorities, you know that?
-I really don't think that's a topic on which you have much to offer.
-My friend, you always surprise me.
-Takes a lot out of you, one like this.
-Yes it does.
-See you.
-Probably not.
-... what we do in here is keep track of all the case files. That way, at any time, we can find out a case's status -- where it is in the office, stuff like that. We file 'em all here, alphabetically --
-Oh, hell. I'm dyslexic.
-Anna? With this real-estate valuing stuff - - could you remind me, cause I'm a little confused about how exactly we do that.
-Where've you been?
-What the fuck did you do with my stuff?
-Um, Erin? Listen. Even though you're not necessarily my favorite person in the world ... ... sometimes you're not half-bad.
-250,000?
-In terms of land value out in Hinkley, Mr. Masry, we feel it's a more than fair price.
-What about in terms of medical expenses? 250,000 doesn't come close to what this family's gonna have to spend on doctors.
-I understand they've had a bad run of luck, health-wise, and they have my sympathies. But that's not PG&E's fault.
-A million things could have caused those problems. Poor diet, bad genes, irresponsible lifestyle. Our offer is final and more than fair.
-Wait a minute -- I thought we were negotiating here.
-Mr. Masry, before you go off on some crusade, you might want to remember who it is you're dealing with here. PG&E is a 28- billion dollar corporation.
-Tell you what, why don't you go on over to reception, tell them I said Mario should take you to the airport.
-Tony Marvin.
-Oh, Jesus. Who's responsible for his pain and suffering this time?
-His dry cleaners. You want him?
-Tequila. From your drug dealer friend.
-Carlos isn't a friend; he's a client.
-Whoa. Remind me.
-Erin Brockovich. Car accident. Not her fault, she says. And she looks like such an honest girl, don't you think?
-You shouldn't judge, Brenda.
-What the hell is this doing here?
-It's those files you asked for.
-I didn't mean for you to leave them in the middle of the floor. Jesus. Look at me. What do I have this afternoon?
-What's she doing here?
-Fax these to this number, okay?
-All of 'em?
-Seventeen thousand in debt. Whew. Is your ex-husband helping out?
-Which one?
-There's more than one?
-So. You must've been feeling pretty desperate that afternoon.
-What? Hey -- <u>he</u> hit <u>me</u>.
-So you say.
-He came tearing around the corner, out of control --
-An ER doctor who spends his days saving lives was the one out of control --
-Meningitis? What the hell is meningitis?
-It's an inflammation of the spinal cord and part of the brain.
-Jesus.
-She must be a tough cookie, cause it's a pretty advanced case. I'd say she's been walking around with it for a few weeks now.
-How does someone get meningitis?
-Usually, in adults, it's from exposure to bacteria or a virus or ...
-Hi. Donna Irving?
-Yes?
-I'm Erin Brockovich, from Masry & Vititoe?
-You're a lawyer?
-This is a real nice place you got here.
-I added air conditioning, put in the pool, made all those pillows by hand ...
-Thank you. I think so too. That's why I'm being such a stickler on this house price thing. I don't mean to be a pain in PG&E's backside, especially after all they've done for Hinkley, but I look around here and I think, if they want this place, they're gonna have to pay for it. And I don't just mean pay for the house;
-Right.
-Cause first you gotta move, then there's decorating, and if the windows aren't the same size, you know -- you're making all new curtains. Honest to God, I don't know if I have the energy. You know, I've been sick. Me and Peter both have.
-I know. They're more than a bit unusual. See, two years ago, Pete got Hodgkin's disease. That's a kind of cancer --
-Yeah, I'm real sorry to hear that.
-Thank you. It's in remission now, thank the Lord, but you never know. And then while that's going on, I end up having to have a hysterectomy. Plus a whole mess of lumps removed from my breasts. All benign so far, but still, no matter how positive you stay, an operation can still take it out of you.
-I'll say. Holy moley.
-So the whole idea of selling the house -- don't get me wrong, I'd be glad to move to some better place, but if they aren't gonna pay us properly, I just don't see the point.
-Are you kidding? With how our lives are, if I start subdividing files, I'll be sunk. I just kept all PG&E correspondence in one place.
-Right, but -- I'm sorry, I don't see why you were corresponding with PG&E about it in the first place.
-Well, they paid for the doctor's visit.
-They did?
-You bet. Paid for a check-up for the whole family. And not like with insurance where you pay, then wait a year to be reimbursed, either. They just took care of it. Just like that. We never even saw a bill.
-Wow. Why would they do that?
-Cause of the chromium.
-The what?
-What's chromium?
-It's a chemical they used over at that compressor station up the road there.
-Well, hell, maybe that's why you all have been so sick --
-Seems like an awful big coincidence -- your water being messed with and you being so sick.
-An on-site monitoring well? That means --
-It was right up on the PG&E property over there.
-And you say this stuff, this hexavalent chromium -- it's poisonous?
-Yeah.
-Well -- then it's gotta be a different than what's in our water, cause ours is okay. The guys from PG&E told me. They sat right in the kitchen and said it was fine.
-No. Hunh-uh, see, that's not what the doctor said. He said one's got absolutely nothing to do with the other.
-Sure wish I had longer to get used to the idea. You think if you got no uterus, and no breasts, you're still technically a woman?
-You wouldn't happen to have a little time right now, would you, Donna?
-For what?
-It's a good day. I feel good.
-The judge came up with a number.
-A number for the whole group, or for us?
-Oh, my God.
-And he's making them give five million of it to you all.
-Five million dollars?
-I don't even know how much money that is.
-I can put them in a good school.
-Any school you want.
-And get someone to help around the house.
-Yup.
-They took some bone from my hip and put it in my neck. I didn't have insurance, so I'm about seventeen thousand in debt right now.
-... couldn't take painkillers cause they made me too groggy to take care of my kids.
-... Matthew's six, Katie's four, and Beth's just nine months.
-... just wanna be a good mom, a nice person, a decent citizen. Just wanna take good care of my kids. You know?
-Open and shut? <u>Open and fucking shut</u>?
-If you hadn't used profanity --
-Oh, please, it was long over by then. God damn, he made me look like some cheap --
-I told you the questions might get a little personal --
-Okay -- let's try and settle down here.
-I'm sorry, Erin.
-You never called me back. I left messages.
-You did? Wow, sorry about that. Listen, Mario's a little not so bright. He seems to think that you said --
-I never lied. I may have miscalculated -- that happens sometimes, but --
-You said things would be fine, and they're not.
-I'm sorry about that. Really. But --
-Okay, look. If you really want to apply for a job here, you can do it the way everyone else does. Send in a rÈsumÈ, make an --
-Yeah?
-I was wondering -- could you tell me who I'd talk to about maybe getting an advance on my paycheck? Just -- for the weekend.
-Jane's the office manager. She handles payroll and petty cash. But she leaves early on Fridays.
-All I have is hundreds.
-I don't wanna take your money, Mr. Masry.
-Give her a cold washcloth to suck on -- I gotta go -- there's a clean one in that bag -- I'll check back in a bit. Sorry. My kid --
-Where's Anna?
-Out to lunch with the girls.
-You do know how to do that, don't you?
-Yeah. I got it. No problem.
-You're a girl.
-Excuse me?
-How come you're not at lunch with the girls? You're a girl.
-Erin, you've been gone for a week.
-I left a message. I've been dealing with that real estate thing. I was gonna write up a whole damn report and --
-Okay, enough -- Now, look, Erin -- this incident aside, I don't think this is the right place for you. So what I'm gonna do is make a few calls on your behalf. Find you something else, okay?
-Come on, I'm trying to help here.
-What are you doing here?
-I got an interesting call this afternoon. It was from a Dr. Frankel.
-Oh, yeah?
-He wanted you to know the legal limit for hexavalent chromium, is .05 parts per million. And that at the rate you mentioned, .58, it could be responsible for the cancers in that family you asked about. The Irvings.
-Well, that was nice of him. Isn't it funny how some people go out of their way to help people and others just give 'em the ax?
-Look, I'm sorry. You were gone. I just assumed you were off having fun.
-Now, why in the hell would you assume that?
-I don't know. Maybe cause you look like someone who has a lot of fun.
-So what's the story on this thing? This cancer stuff?
-But, PG&E told her about the chromium?
-They told her something, but it can't have been too specific, cause I talked to her, and she sure didn't think her water was bad.
-So what made you think it was?
-It doesn't take a genius to look at those medical records and think something's wrong.
-What medical records?
-The ones in the box of files. The box of files? The one from your office?
-I didn't see any medical records in there.
-That document you found, the one that says it was the bad chromium -- you didn't happen to make a copy did you?
-Course I did.
-I want a raise. And benefits. Including dental.
-Okay. A 5% raise, and --
-Ten. There's a lot of other places I could work.
-This is the only thing you found?
-So far. But that place is a pig sty. I wouldn't be surprised if there's more.
-I'm telling you, the minute Brenda sent the fax -- I'm talking the second she pressed that send button -- PG&E claims department is on the phone to me, scheduling a meeting.
-So you think we got 'em scared?
-At least they made an offer.
-That wasn't an offer. A million would've been an offer. When they send the God damn mail clerk down to jerk me off, waste my time, it's a fuck you.
-I don't get why they'd do that.
-Because they can. You heard that kid -- they have 28 billion dollars at their disposal. They can afford to waste all the time in the world.
-And you can't?
-Mr. Masry, Mario gets lost going to the bathroom. They'll be driving around the valley for hours.
-Boy, do I know how you feel. First time I heard that number, I said you got to be kidding me. Forty God damn percent?
-Erin --
-I'm the one who's injured, and this joker who sits at a desk all day is gonna walk away with almost half my reward?
-Then I don't get anything either.
-Hunh-uh. Absolutely not.
-That's crazy -- why not?
-Okay, so here's what I'll do. I'll go on up to Ted and Rita Daniels -- two of the nicest people you'd ever hope to meet, who spend every single day watching their little girl fight like a dog against this cancer -- I'll tell them we can't help them cause you don't feel like working that hard.
-It's not about working hard --
-Bullshit.
--- It's about being realistic. Something like this, Erin -- it could take forever. They're a huge corporation. They'd completely bury us in paperwork. I'm just one guy with a shitty little P.I. firm.
-And this shit is bad news, Mr. Masry. Not only does it attack every organ of the body, it fucks with your DNA, too. That means these people's genes, and the genes of their kids, and the genes of their grandkids --
-We can get these people. With a little effort, I really think we can nail their asses to the wall.
-Oh, you do? With all your legal expertise, you believe that?
-How many families we talking about here?
-Four more. Eleven people. So far.
-You think there's more?
-This is a whole different ball game, Erin. A much bigger deal.
-Kinda like David and what's-his-name?
-You're doing the right thing, Mr. Masry.
-What now?
-Is that what I think it is?
-You wanna talk about --
-They used the hex chrom here, in these cooling tanks, as an anti-corrosive. Then they dumped it here, in these six ponds.
-They covered 'em over. And not too carefully either, cause you dig one inch under the surface, and the dirt is green as a fucking shamrock.
-And that's what caused the contamination?
-See, according to this, they were supposed to line the ponds so this shit couldn't seep into the ground. But guess what --
-They skipped that step.
-I guess it was a little too inconvenient. So for fourteen years, this stuff flowed into the groundwater, free as you please.
-For your information, Frank cares what was in those ponds 'cause he used to spend half his day wading around them. That was his job.
-No shit.
-Erin -- lemme tell you something. If I'da put three researchers on this, I wouldn't expect them to dig up all the information you got here. This is some damn good work.
-Yeah? Then gimme another raise.
-Don't give me that. You're gonna get plenty rich off of this, Mr. 40 percent. We got those PG&E fuckers by the balls here.
-We've got the PG&E fuckers in Hinkley by the balls. But nobody's getting rich unless we can pin this on the corporate PG&E fuckers in San Francisco.
-What do you mean?
-PG&E corporate is claiming they had no way of knowing what was going on in Hinkley.
-Oh, they knew. They had to know.
-Then they didn't know. And if they didn't know, we can't hit 'em for punitive damages. And punitive damages is where the money is.
-I like this case.
-Really? It makes me sick.
-Me too. That's why I like it. It's been a long time since I had a case I cared about.
-You didn't care about my case?
-Hey. I like working with you.
-If they've sent that little shmuck Baum again, I'm gonna be real pissed off.
-From their tone of voice on the phone, I'd say they're taking us more seriously.
-Jesus. They look like the Secret Service.
-Hey. A new plaintiff called, wants to meet you. I told him we'd be out there Thursday.
-D'you get his name? Course not. Jesus, Ed --
-He said he'd be at the gas station at six.
-Someone's following me.
-What? Who?
-What kind of truck?
-I don't know. Big. Dark.
-He's gone. Did you get a license plate? Or a make?
-No, Ed -- what with me running for my life, I didn't have time to check those things --
-I was just asking. Are you all right?
-I want my fucking money --
-I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to put you on hold for just one second here -- Do you mind?
-Oh, Jesus. You wanna tell me what the problem is here, or --
-It's my paycheck. Which I earned. Which I deserve. Which I shouldn't have to beg for. That fat-ass bitch won't give it to me.
-Erin, you're a big girl. If you got a problem with Jane, work it out for yourself. I don't have time to deal with --
-Fuck you. Make time. Cause I bust my ass for you. I watch everything else in my life go straight in the toilet, for you. And what do you do for me? Huh? You see the way I'm treated around here -- but have you ever stood up for me once? Have you ever mentioned to everyone what good work I'm doing? Have you
-Is that what you want?
-I'll see what I can do.
-What kind of things come up?
-Things like the head counsel for PG&E calling me with an offer. 20 million, plus attorney's fees. Take it or leave it.
-Whoa. No shit.
-It's about 50 thousand per plaintiff.
-So what are you thinking?
-I'm thinking ... I wish someone else had to make this decision. 50 thousand bucks is more than any other California toxic plaintiff has gotten. Ever. But ...
-... but it won't cover Annabelle Daniels's medical bills.
-And it's less than pocket change for PG&E.
-Do you think we'd do better by going to trial?
-Maybe. but maybe not. We still don't have anything linking this to PG&E corporate. Plus, there's the statute problem. Plus, we're way short on manpower, so we'd need to bring on more lawyers ...
-Plus, 40 percent of 20 million's a whole lot of money.
-Holy shit. Who do they represent, God?
-What's a demur?
-Counts?
-Why good?
-She insulted me!
-Bullshit. It was a misunderstanding. But instead of handling it politely, instead of treating her with respect --
-Because <u>that's how people treat each other</u>!
-Not in my world.
-If you tell me to relax, I'm gonna kick your fucking head off --
-Erin, it's just a meeting.
-People don't fly down in their own god damn plane for "just a meeting" --
-Look, you said you weren't feeling great. I thought you should rest.
-Bullshit. You'd drag me off my deathbed if it suited you.
-Okay, look. It's an important meeting. Kurt thought, if it was just lawyers --
-Look, this is serious now. They're talking serious money --
-And, what, I'm not serious?
-You're emotional. You're erratic. You say any God damn thing that comes into your head. And I'm not saying that's bad. That can be great; that can be a lot of fun --
-"Fun?" Jesus, "<u>fun</u>?" I kill myself for a year and a half, hand you the best case of your life on a God damn silver platter, remind you of why you became a lawyer in the first place, and you think of me as "fun?"
-Okay, now you're making this personal, and it isn't --
-How dare you take that away from me.
-No one's taking anything --
-Don't give me that. You've gotten plenty. You've been well-paid; you've gotten lots of perks ...
-If you're here to fire me, your timing's lousy.
-I'm not gonna fire you. I wanted to. But then you got sick, and that woulda made me look like a shit. You embarrassed me, Erin.
-Between 50 and 400 million, definitely?
-Uh-huh.
-And if you had to guess ...
-With nothing linking it to the corporate offices yet, I'd say we'll end up on the lower end of that. Still a lot of money.
-So why would PG&E offer it?
-Because. They know the evidence; they know they're gonna lose a jury trial. Maybe they wouldn't lose 400 million bucks, but once you factor in all they'd spend on this case in the next ten years, it makes a lot of --
-Wait, what do you mean, ten years?
-Five years, maybe, for a trial. Double that for the appeal.
-I'm sorry, are you saying that if this thing goes to trial, it'll be <u>ten years</u> before these plaintiffs see their money?
-Hey, that's not so bad. Compare it to the Love Canal -- that was twenty years ago, and those people still haven't seen a dime. So in legal terms, ten years is --
-Fuck legal terms. We're talking about human beings here. Sick people. A whole bunch of them are gonna be dead in ten years. They need their money now! We gotta get 'em to agree to the arbitration, Ed. We gotta get every damn one of those plaintiffs to --
-<u>I know</u>. We're having a meeting, it's all set up --
-When? Where?
-Tuesday at seven, at the Hinkley firehouse.
-Okay, good. I think I should be the one to tell 'em, cause they trust me more than --
-You're not gonna be there.
-The fuck I'm not. I don't care what the doctor says --
-This isn't doctor's orders. It's mine. I'm saying you can't come.
-Why not?
-Because Kurt doesn't want to work with you. He thinks you're a loose cannon.
-Fuck Kurt.
-Erin --
-Morning!
-Erin? What are you --
-Ho - ly - shit.
-I don't know what to say.
-Say you were wrong.
-I was wrong.
-Say you shortchanged me and you shortchanged yourself.
-I did. Both.
-Say you'd be the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth if I didn't up and quit over all this.
-But I know you're not gonna quit on me.
-How do you know that?
-Careful you don't spit from here; you could kill someone.
-You see your office?
-Yeah. Yours is nicer.
-Oh, okay. Here it comes.
-Here what comes?
-The extortion, the threats ...
-I wasn't gonna --
-"I can always find someplace else to work. Someplace that'll pay me a fortune and give me a view of the French Riviera ..."
-Ed, I swear, I'm not --
-What is that?
-Two million dollars?
-When'd they file the demur?
-How many counts?
-Who's the judge?
-Corey.
-I've also been thinking about the team. Responsibilities, who should cover what --
-Right.
-I was working in the compressor, and out of nowhere the supervisor calls me up to the office and says, we're gonna give you a shredder machine, and send you on down to the warehouse. We want you to get rid of all the documents stored out there.
-Did he say why?
-Nope. And I didn't ask.
-Did you get a look at the stuff you destroyed?
-Well, it's pretty boring work, shredding -- you gotta find some way to entertain your mind. So yeah, I took a look.
-And ...?
-And you were told to destroy those?
-Course as it turns out, I'm not a very good employee.
-What do you mean?
-How come you didn't say anything when you found these things?
-Oh, hey -- lemme give you a hand there.
-Thank you very much. Aren't you a gentleman? Mr. ...
-Ross.
-Erin. Cool. What can I do for you, Erin?
-Well, believe it or not, I am on the prowl for some water records.
-You come to the right place.
-I guess I did.
-You just tell me what you want to look at and I'll be glad to dig 'em out for you.
-I wish I knew. It's for my boss. He's fighting his water bill, and he wants me to find all manner of bills from all kinds of places. The easiest thing would probably be if I just squeezed back there with you and poked around myself. Would that be okay?
-Pattee? That your middle name?
-Nope. Maiden.
-You're married.
-You know what, Erin? I got nothing but time here. Why don't you let me do that for you, and you can get your kids some dinner.
-Hey, Ross. Tell me something. Does PG&E pay you to cover their ass, or do you just do it out of the kindness of your heart?
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-What kind of chromium is it?
-There's more than one kind?
-Yes. There's straight-up chromium -- does all kinds of good things for the body. There's chrom 3, which is fairly benign, and then there's chrom 6, hexavalent chromium, which, depending on the amounts, can be very harmful.
-Harmful, like -- how? What would you get?
-So that stuff -- it kills people.
-Oh, yeah. Definitely. Highly toxic, highly carcinogenic. Bad, bad stuff.
-Well, how do I find out what kind of chromium is up in Hinkley?
-Have you been to the water board?
-Hunh-uh. What's that?
-Every county has one. They keep records of anything water-related within their jurisdiction. You should be able to find something there.
-County water board. All righty, thanks.
-Put your napkins in your laps and eat up.
-Mommy, can I get a flower?
-I hate it too. I hate this trip.
-Oh, come on, where's your sense of adventure? We're going someplace you never been before.
-Yeah. A real moron.
-Look, I know you're mad. But the way this job is, things come up at the last minute, real important things, and I gotta deal with them. Now I don't like me missing dinner any more than you do, but we're all gonna have to get used to it, cause the fact is, it's gonna happen sometimes.
-It happens all the time.
-What are you <u>doing</u>? Where's George?
-I don't know.
-Masry & Vititoe, can I help you?
-You've been reading for hours.
-I'm a slow reader, on account of the fact that I look at the word "dog" and see "god".
-Hey, Erin, I thought you were taking a sick day.
-What's going on in there?
-Some meeting. With PG&E people.
-PG& -- Are you sure?
-Hey, Ros, where are they?
-Hey, Ros. Nice view, huh?
-There's no way a son of mine hates Funky Town. It's impossible.
-Yeah.
-Can I play roller hockey?
-We'll see.
-Randy's mom said yes right away.
-God damn it, Matthew. What the hell are you doing out here?
-We'll work out the roller hockey thing, okay? Whatever you want, we'll work it out. I promise.
-You always say that. Then you go to work and forget you promised.
-I never forget, honey. I try, real hard. It's just, for some reason, I don't seem to be able to organize things right and -- when it comes to you guys, I end up falling short.
-You never fall short for the work people. I guess maybe you just love them more.
-She's one of the sick people?
-How come her own mom isn't helping her?
-Hey -- those are my files --
-Excuse me -- Theresa, was it? There are no holes in my research.
-No offense. There are just some things we need that you probably didn't know to ask.
-Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, okay? I may not have a law degree, but I've spent 18 months on this case, and I know more about those plaintiffs than you ever will.
-Erin. You don't even have phone numbers for some of them.
-Whose number do you need?
-Everyone's. This is a lawsuit. We need to be able to contact the plaintiffs.
-I said, <u>whose number do you need</u>?
-Annabelle Daniels.
-Okay, look -- I think we got off on the wrong foot here --
-Well, hello to you, darlin'.
-What the hell do you think you're doing, making all that Goddamn noise?
-Just introducing myself to the neighbors.
-Ooh, now, see, if I'da known there was a beautiful woman next door, I'da done this different. Let's start over. My name's George. What's yours?
-Just think of me as the person next door who likes it quiet, and we'll get along fine.
-You want my number?
-I do.
-Which number do you want, George?
-You got more than one?
-Shit, yeah. I got numbers coming out of my ears. Like, for instance, ten.
-Ten?
-Sure. That's one of my numbers. It's how many months old my little girl is.
-You got a little girl?
-No.
-C'mon. I bought 'em for you, to make up for that night.
-I had a good neighbor, George. She was 60 and Mexican and she watched my kids for free. Something tells me you're not gonna be able to measure up to that.
-I'm not gonna leave my kids with you.
-Why not?
-Cause I don't even know you.
-Yeah. I'm probably ruining them.
-How?
-I'm never here. I gotta leave 'em with this weird sitter all afternoon who costs a fortune and smells like chicken fat.
-I was serious before, you know. If you need someone to keep an eye on them -- after school or something -- I don't have a job now, so I'm around in the afternoons.
-Great. Another deadbeat.
-I'm not a deadbeat. I work when I need to.
-Yeah? And what do you do the rest of the time, live off your trust fund?
-I do construction, which pays real good. And I make it last by living cheap.
-I hope that's not supposed to impress me.
-Are you this hard on everyone who tries to help you?
-It's been a while. Maybe I'm just out of practice.
-Then lemme remind you, the polite thing is to say, thank you, that's a real nice offer, I don't mind taking you up on it.
-Why in the hell would you want to watch my kids?
-Cause I like kids. I like hanging out with them.
-You're around every afternoon?
-This isn't gonna get you laid, you know.
-What're you doing?
-I'm gonna put a dead bolt on your front door, too. This isn't exactly the safest neighborhood in the world, you know.
-Thanks for reminding me.
-You think it could make you sick, living in a place like this?
-What are you doing here?
-Great.
-What kind of person lives like this? Huh? What kind of person lets her kids run around in a house crawling with bugs the size of housecats?
-It's a simple thing. Everybody gets them. All we gotta do is call an exterminator.
-I <u>can't</u> call an exterminator. I can't afford one. God, I can't even afford my <u>phone</u>. I got fired.
-What? But you been working so hard --
-You're not nothing, Erin.
-Well, I'm sure as hell not what I thought I was gonna be. I was supposed to have one of those great lives, with everything all laid- out and perfect. I mean, hell -- I was Miss Wichita, for God's sakes. Did I tell you that? You live next door to a real live beauty queen. I still got the tiara. I kept it
-You are someone.
-No I'm not. Look at me. I'm not.
-George, I am just trying to do something nice for my kids on my one day off. Could you please not give me a hard time about it?
-One toy per kid is doing something nice. Four is ... something else.
-Well, hell, I guess that's it, then, huh? They're scarred for life. They're gonna start holding up 7-11's any day now.
-I'm just saying --
-I'm not gonna quit cause of one creepy phone call, George.
-Come on, Erin. A job's supposed to pay your bills, not put you in danger.
-Look, don't take this the wrong way, but don't you think you might be out of your league here?
-It doesn't have to be this complicated, Erin. There's a lot of jobs out there.
-You mind telling me what that's supposed to mean?
-Nothing.
-If you got a problem with me taking care of your kids instead of getting some job, just say so.
-I didn't say that.
-Cause I can get a job. I will. And you can start leaving the kids with the chicken fat lady again. Would that make you happy?
-Keep your voice down.
-I'm so tired I'm about to drive off the road. Keep me awake, willya?
-What do you want, a joke?
-No, no jokes, I gotta pee. Just tell me about your day. What went on back there?
-Well, come to think of it, we did have a big event around here. Beth started talking.
-What? Beth? My Beth?
-I'm bored, and so are the kids.
-I'm just saying -- we have one night to ourselves, why do we have to spend it here?
-That's Ed.
-Lock the door.
-It wouldn't kill you to talk about something other than yourself and your own fucking job once in a while --
-Fuck you. Just cause I don't spend all day trying to prove what hot shit I am --
-That is not what I'm --
-What's going on? What are you doing?
-Thinking.
-About this.
-What's that?
-It's a pair of earrings. I saw 'em in the mall one day, and I thought, damn, those would look good on those beautiful earlobes. So I bought 'em. And I said to myself, next time Erin says something nice, does something nice, I'll surprise her with 'em. Know how long ago that was? Six months. In six months, you haven't said one nice
-I'm sorry. I'm just working so hard --
-I know. But still. Six months. I think you oughta either find a different job or a different boyfriend. Cause there may be men who don't mind being the maid and getting nothing in return, but I'm sure as shit not one of 'em.
-I can't leave my job, George.
-Yeah, you can. You could just quit. People do it all the time.
-I can't. Look -- this job -- it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I mean it. For the first time in my life, I got people respecting me. Up in Hinkley, I walk into a room and everyone shuts up just to hear what I got to say. I never had that. Ever. Don't ask me to give it up. I
-More than you need me.
-You already packed up your stuff?
-They said that'd be tomorrow. They just wanna keep an eye on me another night.
-Thank you.
-Hello?
-Hi. It's me. I got a favor to ask you.
-I don't do favors for you anymore.
-They up?
-How long's this whole thing gonna take?
-And I miss you.
-Think you could learn?
-You shouldn't be driving around, you know. You're sick.
-What time is it?
-No, I need my car --
-Promise you'll turn around if you get tired.
-I'm embarrassed.
-That's okay. I understand.
-It's just -- the pain. It's only getting worse. I can't be a good wife. I can't be a good mother.
-Know what I always thought I wanted outta life, Erin? A Jaguar.
-Jaguar's a darn pretty car.
-I thought if I could spend that kinda money on a car, it'd mean everything else was fine. I don't even know how much they cost.
-I mean, it's not a problem or anything, but -- I'm just a little unclear on what those things are. I thought maybe you'd know.
-Someone stole my stuff.
-Nice to see you, Erin. We've missed you.
--- toothbrush, toothpaste, and a pair of hose. Here.
-What's going on?
-What am I supposed to do, check in every two seconds?
-Yes. It's called accountability.
-I am not talking to you, bitch.
-Where's my paycheck?
-Have you been logging on?
-What?
-I moved payroll onto the computer. It only knows to process paychecks for employees who log on in the morning and off at night.
-Now how'm I supposed to do that when I'm not in here most mornings and nights?
-Excuse me, are you Erin Brockovich?
-When Donna told us about you, and what you told her about the chromium, we figured that might have something to do with this, too.
-There's something else, too.
-I know. It's an awful lot.
-You know that thing it says in here about rashes?
-Uh-huh?
-Hi, sweetie. Were you a good girl? Where are Matt and Katie?
-It'll be fine, yeah.
-Ai, bueno. Because I didn't want to tell you before, with your worries --
-What?
-My daughter, she's bought a big house with a room for me. I'm going to move in with her.
-You're moving away? When?
-Next week.
-Wow, that's soon --
-Dr. Paulsen?
-Yes?
-Hi, I'm Erin Brockovich. I was just over in the library there, asking a mess of questions about -- I guess they call it epidemiology? -- and the fella there told me to find you, cause you know all about it.
-Is this a joke? Did Baxter put you up to this?
-Who's Baxter?
-Oh. Oh.
-No one put me up to anything. I was just hoping I could ask you a couple questions.
-Well, look, there isn't a ton of information here, but from what there is, I'd say that these two people here -- what are their names? Shanna and Ashley?
-Right, I guess those are the kids --
-They've both got some immune system problem. Can't say what from, whether it's viral or genetic or what, but something's wrong. And these guys -- Donna and Peter --
-Their parents, I'm pretty sure.
-... and when I realized our area's just as bad as Hinkley, I thought maybe my neighbors are all sick too. So I went and asked.
-Uh-huh. Spent the last few days knocking on doors. And you know what? They're not. I mean, they got problems, but none of this cancer stuff. And their pets are fine. So I don't know -- I just can't shake the feeling that it wasn't no multivitamin they put in the water.
-I gotta say, Erin -- first time I saw you, I did not peg you as the kind to go off and conduct her own epidemiological study.
-It was .... the Emperor ....
-The Emperor?
-Yes, he commands you make contact with him ....
-Move this ship out of the asteroid field and into a position where we can send a clear transmission.
-Yes, My Lord.
-My lord.
-Our pursuit ships have sighted the Millennium Falcon, My Lord. It has entered an asteroid field.
-Asteroids don't concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses. How long until you can have Skywalker and the others in the Millennium Falcon before me?
-Soon, Lord Vader.
-Lord Vader, our ships have completed their scan of the area and found nothing. The Millennium Falcon definitely went into lightspeed. It's probably on the other side of the galaxy by now.
-Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory and disburse the fleet to search for them. Don't fail me again, Admiral, I've had quite enough!
-He will learn patience.
-Much anger in him, like in his father.
-He can do it.
-He'll learn.
-Will he finish what he begins?
-Stopped they must be. Do you hear? On this all depends.
-Luke, use The Force only for knowledge and for defense, not as a weapon. Don't give in to hate or anger or fear ... they lead the way to the dark side ... Luke nods and climbs back into his ship.
-Told you, I did. Reckless is he ... Now things are going to worse.
-The boy is our last hope.
-I can't ...
-You must survive, Luke.
-I'm cold ... so cold ...
-You must go to the Dagobah System ... There you will learn from one who taught me: Yoda, the Jedi Master.
-Ben ... Ben ...
-... Luke, you must not go.
-But Han and Leia will surely die.
-You don't know that. Even I cannot see their fate.
-I can help them!
-You're not ready yet. You still have much to learn.
-I feel The Force.
-Will you? You underestimate The Emperor. It is you he wants ... that is why your friends suffer.
-And that is why I must go.
-Luke, I will not lose you to the Emperor, as I lost Vader.
-You won't.
-How you doing, Chewbacca? Still wasting your time with this clown, eh?
-Growls a reserved greeting.
-Barks at the mention of food. Licks his lips.
-Barks a blue streak.
-Three patrol ships are heading our way.
-Turns on Lando, the newcomer, with an ominous growl.
-Howls.
-Well, it's been awhile.
-Barks and growls at his boss.
-Howls and shrugs his shoulders.
-Barks at Han.
-Barks his concern.
-Barks a doleful farewell.
-Barks at his master.
-We should have stayed and finished them off.
-I don't care. It would've been worth it .... for Han.
-... the power?
-Barks his consternation.
-Okay, Chewie, it's now or never.
-... Like we're being watched.
-I'm looking for someone.
-Looking? Looking? You've found someone I'd say. Heh? Yes!
-Yeah ...
-Help you I can ... yes ... yes.
-I'm looking for a great warrior.
-Listen, friend, we didn't mean to land here, and if I could get my fighter out of this puddle I would, but I can't. So ...
-Give me that!
-I don't want your help. I want my lamp back. I'll need it in this slimy mudhole.
-Mine, mine.
-Okay, Artoo, let him have it. Now get out of here, little fellow, we've got things to do.
-No, no! I'll stay and help you find your friend.
-I'm not looking for a friend. I'm looking for a Jedi Master.
-Oh, a Jedi Master. Different altogether. Yoda you seek, Yoda.
-You know the Jedi Master?
-... I told you, I'm not hungry.
-Patience. It's time to eat.
-Look, it smells good. I'm sure it's delicious But I don't know why we can't see Yoda now.
-It's the Jedi's time to eat, too.
-Will it take long to get there? How far away is he?
-Not far, not far. Be patient. Soon you will see him. Why wish you become a Jedi?
-Because of my father, I guess.
-Oh, your father ... a powerful Jedi was he, powerful Jedi.
-Yes sir!
-Sergeant, is Commander Skywalker back yet?
-I haven't seen him. He probably came in through the south entrance.
-Commander Skywalker hasn't come through the south entrance, sir. Maybe he slipped by without checking in.
-Not likely! Where are the speeders?
-We haven't got them adapted to this cold yet ...
-We'll have to go out on Tauntauns.
-The temperature is dropping too fast.
-The night storms will start before you can reach the first marker.
-What is thy bidding, My Master?
-There is a grave disturbance in The Force.
-I have felt it.
-Our situation is most precarious. We have a new enemy who could bring about our destruction.
-Our destruction? Who?
-The son of Skywalker. You must destroy him ... or he will be our undoing.
-He's not a Jedi, he's just a boy. Obi-wan could not have taught him so much that ...
-You are weak! I have seen it. The Force is strong with him. He must be destroyed.
-But, if he could be turned, he would be a powerful ally.
-Yes ... yes. That would be a great asset.
-Captain Solo. What's the situation?
-There isn't a hint of life in the area. But all the perimeter markers are set, so you'll know if anyone comes calling.
-Good, and Commander Skywalker?
-He's checking out a meteorite that hit near him. He'll be in soon.
-With all the meteor activity in this system, it's going to be difficult to spot approaching ships.
-That's right.
-You're an extraordinary fighter. I hate to lose you.
-Thank you, General. But there's a price on my head. If I don't pay off Jabba the Hutt, I'm a walking dead man.
-Whatever it is, it isn't friendly. I'm going to have a look. Come on, Chewie.
-Wait. I'll send a patrol with you.
-Captain Solo, sir. Might I have a word with you?
-What is it?
-Mistress Leia has been trying to reach you on the communicator, but either you have it turned off, or it is malfunctioning ... if it's damaged, Artoo, could fix it, if you like.
-I shut it off. What's her royal holiness want?
-I don't know, Artoo. Sir, might I inquire what's going on?
-He doesn't make sense to me either, Chewie.
-I do hope he's all there ... if you take my meaning. I would hate to see Master Luke develop a short circuit ...
-Transport XJ. get out of here. Go!
-Sir, I was wondering ...
-Sit down, and shut up!
-I think we're in trouble.
-If I may say so, Sir, I noticed earlier that the entire main para- light system seems to be damaged.
-What are you so grouchy about?
-You, too, golden rod.
-It sounds like it's trying to get in.
-We're doomed. Goodbye, Mistress Leia. Goodbye, Captain ...
-I can see the edge of the asteroid field, sir.
-Yes, Your Highness?
-You said you were going to stay. What happened?
-That bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell changed my mind.
-Does Luke know?
-He'll know when he gets back ... Don't give me that look. Every day more bounty hunters are searching for me. If I don't pay off Jabba soon, there'll be too many to stop ... Remotes, Gank killers, and who knows what else. I've got to get that price off my head while I still have a head.
-Han, we need you here.
-We?
-Yes.
-Not you?
-Me? I don't know what you mean.
-You probably don't. How could you? You're so terrified of your own emotions ...
-And what are they, pray tell?
-You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me.
-Am I? I say you came running after me because you were afraid I was leaving you without even a kiss.
-I'd just as soon kiss a wookiee.
-There's no accounting for taste. Believe me, you could use a good kiss. You've spent so much time doing your duty and giving orders you've never learned how to be a woman. It's a shame, because you've got all the makings for one. I could have helped you plenty in that department ... if you'd have let go for a minute. But it's too
-We are fighting for a cause much ...
-Spare me please! Don't tell me about the Rebellion again. I've had it with your noble mission. All you let yourself think about is the Rebellion. The result is you're as cold as this planet.
-And you think you're the one to apply some heat?
-Those creatures he keeps talking about ... we'd better double the security ... Han, I don't know how ...
-Now all we've got to worry about is what attacked him.
-.... I'm afraid there's not much left.
-What was it?
-Droid of some kind. I didn't hit it that hard. It must have had a self-destruct ....
-An Imperial probe droid.
-Well, your worship, it looks like you arranged to keep me close by for a while longer.
-I don't know what he's talking about.
-You must have gone completely out of your feeble mind.
-Why you low-down, stuck-up, half- witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder.
-Hey! Someone's still in here.
-Would it help if I got out and pushed?
-This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade.
-This baby's got a few surprises left in her.
-I know, I know, I see them ... LEIA See what?
-Two more Star Destroyers heading right at us.
-That was no laser blast .... some- thing hit us ....
-Asteroids! Chewie, bank left, let's find out where they're coming from ...
-Probably an asteroid field ....
-Let's hope so ... it's just the chance we need.
-To get killed ... you're not seriously going into an asteroid field?
-Well, you said you wanted to be there when I was wrong.
-I take it back.
-That Star Destroyer is slowing down.
-But we're going to get pulverized if we stay out here much longer.
-I'm against that.
-We've got to get out of this shower.
-Now you're making sense.
-There, there. Chewie get a reading on that. Looks pretty good.
-What is it?
-Why, Princess, this is so sudden.
-Very funny. You can let go now .... I'm getting angry.
-You don't look angry.
-How do I look?
-Sorry, Captain, being held by you isn't enough to get me excited.
-Well, I hope you don't expect more.
-I don't expect anything, except to be left alone.
-That was no earthquake.
-They're moving away.
-They're just trying to see if they can stir something up ... we're safe.
-Easy, your worship. Only trying to help.
-Sure. I guess I make it difficult sometimes.
-Yes, you do.
-Sometimes, maybe ... occasionally, when you aren't acting like a scoundrel.
-Stop that.
-What are you afraid of?
-Don't count on it. I happen to like nice men.
-Sure, they're safer. You always know what they're going to do. Trouble is, it gets a little dull.
-There's nothing dull about a man I can depend on to be civilized.
-You mean a man you can control.
-I do not!
-There's something out there!
-Where?
-Are you crazy!
-Looks like some kind of Mynock.
-Those Star Destroyers will spot us long before you can get into light speed. You can't make the jump in this asteroid field.
-Strap yourself in, sweetheart, we're taking off!
-I see it Chewie, hang on.
-Couldn't be, I checked the transfer circuits, just like you said! I tell you this time it's not my fault. I'm sure I checked it.
-No lightspeed?
-Sharp bank, Chewie. Let's turn this bucket around. You heard me, turn around! Full power on the front shield.
-You could have warned him before you shut him off.
-Oh, so sorry! Didn't mean to offend your droid. You think braking and shutting down in that amount of time is easy?
-I'm still not sure what you've accomplished.
-What'd you have in mind for your next move?
-Not bad, hot shot, not bad. Then what?
-Then we have to find a safe port around here. Got any ideas?
-That depends. Where are we?
-Funny, I have the feeling I've been in this area before. Let me check my logs.
-You keep logs? My, how organized.
-Well, sometimes ... Ah-hah, I knew it! Lando Calrissian.
-Never heard of that system.
-Lando's not a system, he's a man. A gambler, con-artist ... all- around scoundrel ... ... your kind of guy. The system is called Bespin. It's a ways from here, but reachable.
-A mining colony.
-A Tibanna gas mine. Lando won it in a sabacc match, or so he claims. Lando and I go way back.
-Can you trust him?
-You do have your moments ... Not many, but you do have them.
-I don't like this.
-What are you staring at?
-Who's staring?
-You look silly.
-You look great.
-Has Threepio turned up yet?
-I hope Luke made it to the fleet all right.
-He found him in a junk pile ...
-Something's wrong here. Your friend Lando is very charming, but I don't trust him.
-Well, I do trust him. Lando's an old friend. Must have been an accident.
-No thanks.
-I was worried about you.
-I'm worried about all of us. I can't figure out what they're up to.
-... I love you. I couldn't tell you before, but it's true.
-Loud and clear, kid. What's up?
-I've finished my circle and I haven't picked up any life read- ings.
-There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser. My sentry markers are placed. I'm heading back to the base.
-Hi kid, you look strong enough to wrestle a Gundark.
-Thanks to you.
-Probe? What probe?
-About what?
-I hope you make your peace with Jabba.
-Why you slimy, double-crossing no-good swindler ... am I glad to see you.
-No hard feelings?
-Are you kidding?
-I always said you were a gentleman.
-That won't be easy, my friend ... What brings you here, anyway?
-Repairs ...
-That ship saved my life a few times. It's the fastest hunk of machinery in the galaxy. What's wrong with her?
-Hyperdrive.
-How's your mining operation going?
-Not as well as I'd like. We're a small outpost and not very self- sufficient. I've had supply problems of every kind and ... What's so funny?
-Sorry friend, I had no choice. They arrived right before you did.
-Get out of here, Lando!
-Shut up a minute and listen. I'm doing what I can to make this easier for you.
-This ought to be good.
-You don't know much about much if you think Vader won't want us dead before this is over.
-He doesn't want you at all. He's after someone named Skywalker.
-All this just to get the kid? What's so important about him?
-Don't shoot! I've done what I can for you. I'm sorry it's not better, but I've got my own problems. I've already stuck my neck out further than I should ...
-What about Leia and the Wookiee?
-You will find them well enough. But they must never again leave this city.
-That was never mentioned. Neither was this bounty hunter taking Han. I hope you haven't forgotten our bargain.
-I forget nothing, Calrissian. Perhaps you think you're being treated unfairly.
-No.
-We only use this chamber for carbon freezing. If you put him in there, it'll kill him.
-I'll take what's mine now.
-Take them, but I'm keeping a detachment of troops here to watch over them.
-That wasn't the bargain. You said the Empire wouldn't interfere in--
-Hello! What have we here? Welcome, I am Baron Lando Calrissian, Administrator of this facility ... and who might you be?
-Sorry, am I interrupting anything?
-Not really.
-I must say, your beauty is unpar- alleled. Truly you belong here with us among the clouds.
-Thanks.
-.... We are a free station and do not fall under the jurisdiction of the Empire.
-You're part of the mining guild then?
-It's a lovely outpost.
-What about Han?
-Lord Vader has set a trap for him and ...
-What's going on?
-I'm coming over to your side, that's what. And I have a feeling I'm making a big mistake.
-Look, I stand to lose everything by this.
-We have no use for your kind.
-Chewie's right. We must try to save Han.
-Very noble. Not smart, but noble.
-You've probably never done an honorable thing in your life.
-Sure I did ... once. It turned out lousy.
-You'd better know what you're doing, or this is going to get very messy.
-We've got to find Luke.
-What'd you say?
-I knew that set-up was too good to last .... I'm going to miss it.
-Luke!
-What?
-No argument, just do it. That's a command!
-Someone's falling.
-The deflector shields are gone.
-I'm sure my men fixed it. We've got nothing to worry about.
-Nothing more can be done tonight. The shield doors must be closed. I can't wait any longer. I'm sorry.
-The speeders should be ready in the morning. They'll make the search easier.
-Is there any chance of them surviving out there?
-Have they analyzed the one that was killed?
-We've picked up something outside the base in zone one, moving East.
-Two transports at a time is awfully risky.
-You rest now.
-So much has happened during the period of your indisposition, sir.
-You don't have to do this to impress me.
-Closer?!
-A tremor!
-What??
-Sir, we've lost the rear deflector shield. One more direct hit on the back quarter and we're done for.
-Rather touchy, aren't they.
-Artoo, you did it! I never doubted you for a second ...
-The Bacta are growing well. The scars should be gone in a day or so. Does it still hurt?
-I'm fine. Really. Leia ... when I was out there and it looked pretty bad ... well, it made me think about things.
-Leia ... What would you think if I went away for a while?
-Where are you going?
-I have this ... feeling. I'm not sure, really ...
-That's just great. Why doesn't everyone just take off?
-What are you talking about?
-First Han, now you. When am I going to learn not to count on anyone but myself? ...
-Calm down, will ya? Tell me about Han.
-He wants to pay off that criminal he's in hock to.
-Jabba the Hutt?
-I could get more loyalty if I went down the hall and recruited some of those snow creatures.
-Leia!
-Lando, is he alright? ... Lando? Are you there? How's Luke?
-This hyperdrive had better work.
-Ready are you? What know you of ready? I have trained Jedi for 800 years. My own counsel I'll keep on who is to be trained.
-Why not me?
-I have followed my feelings.
-I will not fail you. I'm not afraid.
-It would be in seven pieces, were you a Jedi.
-I thought I was in good shape.
-Master, moving rocks is one thing, but this is a little different.
-No! No different! The differences are in your mind. Throw them out! No longer of use are they to you.
-Okay. I'll give it a try.
-I can't. It's too big.
-I don't believe it.
-Concentration. Heh? Concentration.
-I thought those seekers were set for stun!
-That they are.
-They're a lot stronger than I'm used to.
-No, no. This will not do. Anger is what you feel.
-But I feel The Force flowing!
-Price? What do you mean?
-The dark side beckons. But if once start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will ... as it did Obi-wan's apprentice.
-Lord Vader ... Is the dark side stronger?
-No, no. Easier, quicker, more seductive.
-But how am I to know the good side from the dark?
-You will know. When you are at peace ... calm ... passive. A Jedi uses The Force for knowledge and defense. Never for attack.
-But tell me why ...
-Four this time! The Force you feel.
-I feel cold.
-This tree is strong with the dark side of The Force. A servant of evil it is. Into it you must go.
-What's in there?
-Ben? Ben?
-Free your mind and return he will.
-My mind fills with so many images.
-Control, control you must learn of what you see. Not easy, not fast.
-I see a city in the clouds.
-Bespin. I see it too ... Friends you have there, heh? Concentrate and see them you will.
-I see them! ... They're in pain ... they're suffering.
-Will they die?
-They're my friends.
-Yes, yes. To Obi-wan you listen young one. The tree. Remember your failure at the tree! Heh?
-And sacrifice Han and Leia?
-The fear does not reach you. You have learned more than I anticipated.
-You'll find I'm full of surprises.
-Your future lies with us, Skywalker. Now you will embrace the dark side. Obi-wan knew this to be true.
-No!
-There is much Obi-wan did not tell you. Come, The Emperor will complete your training.
-I'll die first.
-All too easy. Perhaps you are not as strong as The Emperor thought.
-The Force runs strong in the Skywalker line. You will achieve great power ... Come, join with me! Together we will be the most powerful ... even stronger than The Emperor.
-There is no escape. You must join me or die. Don't make me destroy you here ... The Emperor is strong with The Force. But if you join me, together we could overthrow Him. Do not resist. It is our destiny!
-The Hoth System?
-Yes, My Lord.
-Seventeen ships destroyed, we don't know how many got away.
-Anything on the Millennium Falcon?
-It won't get through the blockade.
-Did you call the Zoo?
-Yes, sir. We're in luck. The sick bay's almost empty except for a mauled fox cub, a deer with pneumonia, and a depressed gorilla. The Apes will be hidden from the public. They'll be quarantined. If they want medical attention, it's available on the spot. And the experts can start giving them the once-over first thing in the morning. General Brody's very pleased.
-Me, too. Can't have a lot of monkeys making messes in the Guardhouse. Have we fed them? Like raw steak or something?
-The Zoo tells me that chimpanzees, like all apes, are vegetarian, sir.
-Good God.
-Excuse me. I didn't mean to disturb.... What am I saying?
-They're...pretending to dress.
-So am I. And I mean you no harm.
-Do you have a name?
-My name is Cornelius. And this is Zira -- my wife.
-Nobody's going to believe it.
-Believe what?
-In some fashion -- and I lack the intellect to know precisely how -- we have traveled from Earth's future into Earth's past.
-But we saw Earth destroyed.
-Zira, are you mad?
-Dr. Milo, please don't call my wife mad.
-To a lot of psychiatric small talk --
-And we can watch ...
-What, Lewis?
-There was a sort of carpetbag in the ship.
-With food?
-No -- clothes. Stevie, they changed into them.
-What are they doing here?
-Go easy, Stevie.
-They look pretty docile.
-We shall want a full autopsy ...
-With particular emphasis on the cranial and oral areas.
-But he isn't us. He's your own kind.
-I mean he's of your race. He's an Ape. Look. You don't have to be afraid. We've put him in chains and under sedation. Do you understand that?
-I should. I've been doing it half my life to Humans.
-Humans?
-Primitive?
-May I say something personal?
-Please
-ComStat did a psychosearch on him. Used a database of 5 million sociopathic personalities. He hit the bottom of the curve.
-Perfect for the mission. Nobody else can pull it off - not an army, not a man.
-Somehow during the tour, she came into possession of a prototype transmitting device. We don't know how.
-The cigarette girl in New Vegas was an undercover cop. She injected you with incentive toxin. Right now it's swimming in your bloodstream. It'll start to take effect in 9 hours.
-L.A. is in a constant state of warfare. Gangs fighting for the right to rule.
-Heavy Third World connections. They get weapons, drugs, fuel, choppers - everything is pumped into the island from the south.
-His reactor's starting to overheat.
-You were injected with glucose. There is no Plutoxin 7 virus. You were never going to die - at least not from anything we gave you.
-Who's that?
-He doesn't look like his picture. I bet he's fake.
-Now go get dressed. We have things to do.
-Ooww!
-Cuervo...?
-You're my woman, you understand? You don't let anybody take you away from me without a fight.
-I tried...
-Nobody leaves Cuervo Jones. Not unless you give your life. You fight till you're dead. Then I forgive you. Understand? Understand?
-Come on, Cuervo. I delivered him, didn't I? All I'm asking for is what you promised.
-Where is he?
-Give it to me.
-You said I could be Vice-President, Cuervo. Your right-hand man.
-Give it.
-You're about to get hit, Cuervo. It's Plissken.
-You told me he was dead.
-I thought he was, but he came back.
-Oh Cuervo...
-What?
-It's so good to see you again.
-Where's Plissken?
-He's... near.
-You're stalling, Eddie. Talk, you little gringo!
-I wouldn't be doin' that, Snake.
-Wait a minute. All right. Hold on.
-Why should we leave? I love L.A. Where we gonna go? What's the payoff?
-Shit.
-Where'd you get these rigs, Carjack?
-I need a favor.
-Wait a minute. I know that voice. You're Carjack Malone.
-I was called away on urgent business, Snake.
-Don't lie to me.
-All right, so I made another deal.
-I'm already dead.
-I see your point. What's the favor?
-Get me to Cuervo Jones. Get me to the Kingdom. I got one hour.
-Dream on, blue eye.
-So what's the deal, gorgeous?
-I don't know, sounds thin to me.
-You want to stay here, while Cuervo Jones rules the world?
-No, that sucks. How are we getting out?
-See you in hell, Snake.
-She's overloaded! We're too heavy.
-I think we've burned off enough fuel. We may be lighter enough to hover. Just barely.
-Can you land?
-No. The right skid's broken. If I try to set it down she'll crash. I have to stay in a hoverwhile you jump off. Hey, Carjack. We gotta hide the girl. Give her your dress.
-How you doin' Plissken? You like the watch?
-Shut up, Plissken.
-What's the little black box do?
-Top secret. Only on a need to know.
-And I don't need to know. So fuck you, I'm goin' to Hollywood.
-That's right, big shot. Unless you do what we want you're not coming back.
-So what's the deal, huh? Go into L.A., find the President's daughter, secure the box, and bring 'em both out - and I'm free?
-That's the deal.
-Wait a minute, what are you talkin' about?
-Having second thoughts?
-Maybe. But you're not putting any shit in me this time.
-Get this crap out of me.
-I guess we have a deal. Nice to be working with you, Plissken.
-I'll need to know more about this thing.
-Only a handful of people are aware of its existence. Let's just say it's the ultimate defensive weapon.
-Defense against what?
-Third World wants to live like we do - and they plan on taking what they want. The Cubans and Brazilians are ready to invade Miami. If the Africans and Colombians make a run at the border, we got a full scale attack on the United States.
-So what does this thing do?
-Where do I put ashore?
-Cahuenga Pass. Make your way up through the mountains toward the Hollywood Bowl. You should be able to pick up Utopia's tracer there. Once you go inside, you're on your own. You know what you have to do with the girl, don't you? We have to spare this nation her trial - for treason.
-So you want me to take her out? Is that an order from the President?
-Let's just say it's what's best for the country.
-By the way - who gives me the anti-toxin?
-A medical team will be standing by.
-Not you?
-No.
-She's in the green.
-Lock fuel rods.
-Locked.
-75% power.
-Plissken...?
-I'm here.
-Where's the submarine? It's disappeared off our screens.
-Plissken - this is Malloy. Do you have the prototype?
-Got a smoke?
-You're gonna have to learn to respect the law, Snake. The United States is a no- smoking nation. No smoking, no drinking, do drugs, no women unless you're married, no guns, no foul language. It's a brand new day for you, Snake.
-It's the President, for Christ's sake!
-Getting ready to invade.
-The prototype appears to be armed, Mr. President. Shall I begin evacuation?
-Does he know how to activate it?
-Relax, war hero. We took you for a ride, and you came through. Not bad for a dirtbag like you.
-You're a star in your own right, you know that? Hey, I'm Map To The Stars Eddie. How you doin'?
-Where'd they go?
-Where are they?
-Location.
-Too many people know where you're going, Snake. That's not good. Delgado and his men were back there waiting for you.
-Delgado?
-Stop the damn car.
-No way.
-I said pull over.
-Where is it?
-Where are they going?
-Not yet.
-Listen up. I need directions. Downtown. Somebody named Hershe.
-Sure, Snake. No problem. You gonna kill me?
-Later.
-I couldn't help it, Snake. I had to shoot you. Cuervo made me do it, I swear to God, man.
-Cease fire with the bullshit.
-How do you know all this?
-Me too?
-Aw, come on, Snake.
-I don't know about this thing.
-I got an idea, Snake. This looks like the prototype, right?
-Yeah, kinda.
-So maybe we can pull off a Texas switch on Cuervo.
-Is that what I think it is?
-What're you doing in here?
-Looking to get out.
-Good. I want you out. This is my sewer.
-Say, you need anything, Snake? Guns? Explosives? I can get you a crate of hellfire grenades, no problem - five hours.
-Yeah. So how do I get to Venice?
-Kind of a bad neighborhood, Snake.
-Which way to the Hollywood Bowl?
-Could be a big one comin' any minute now...
-Where's... Cuervo Jones...?
-Long gone. You'll never catch up with him now, Snake.
-Where?
-You ain't doin' so good, Snake. You need help. You should talk to Hershe. She hates Cuervo. They used to be partners, but they split up.
-Who?
-Hi, Snake. It's so great to meet you. My name's Taslima. I'm a fan of yours.
-Are you crazy?
-What are they?
-They live here, used to be like us. But after too many silicon implants, their muscles turned to jelly. The only way they survive is to have body parts transplanted over and over again. Snake, nobody who comes into Beverly Hills gets out alive.
-No screamin' shit.
-Oh no, it's the Doctor.
-Who?
-Don't follow me.
-You need help.
-This is a dead end. You took us into a dead end!
-Be careful of the bald cats. They live in these buildings.
-How do we get out of here?
-Snake - what is it?
-Why don't you get out of L.A.? Take a boat to China, take an airplane to Brazil? Earthquakes, death, shit. Why do you stay?
-I changed my mind. I'm going with you, wherever you're going.
-What the hell is this?
-The freeway.
-I know that. There are people in some of these cars.
-What are you gonna do in Venice?
-Find Cuervo Jones.
-Run, Snake...They're coming.
-I can see you're real concerned about your daughter.
-Utopia is lost to me. My daughter is gone.
-Well, I'll think it over.
-You're running out of time.
-Get ready, shitheads. We're comin' in.
-Where's the anti-toxin...?
-Hey, what's going down, Snake?
-I'm looking for somebody.
-You owe me. You left me holdin' everything back there in Cleveland.
-Hershe, you were in Cleveland?
-All of us?
-The President's promised to give whoever helps me 1 million dollars.
-Yeah? Greenbacks? I got ten million of them.
-Is he coming?
-In the name of God, of St. Michael, and St. George, I make you a knight. Rise, Sir...
-There is one thing left to do... Excalibur... And you must do it, Perceval. Leave my wounds, I command you.
-I cannot--
-When you threw it in, what did you see?
-My King, I couldn't do it. Excalibur cannot be lost. Other men--
-Good day to you, sir.
-Move aside. This is the King's road, and the knights you joined arms against were his very own.
-I await the King himself. His knights are in need of training.
-I am King, and this is Excalibur, sword of kings from the dawn of time. Who are you, and why do you block the way?
-I am Sir Lancelot of the Lake, from across the sea. I am the best knight in the whole of Christiandom, and I look for the king who is worthy of my sword's service.
---That is a wild boast. You lack a knight's humility.
-Not a boast, sir, but a curse. Never have I met my match in joust or duel.
-Move aside!
-Yield. I have the advantage.
-Fight me from your horse or on foot, but fight me. Your avoidance mocks me.
-Sir, your rage has unbalanced you. It seems you would fight to the death against a knight who is not your enemy, for a length of road you can ride around.
-So be it, to the death.
-Thanks to God, you are alive.
-You are still the best knight in Christiandom. You gained a hundred advantages over me. It is I who must love you, for through your courage and patience you taught me a bitter lesson.
-Then make me your champion and I will always fight in your place.
-But your life and lands are far from here.
-My domain is here, inside this metal skin. And I would pledge to you all that I still own: muscle, bone, blood and the heart that pumps it.
-Lancelot, how did you fare in the North?
-These men repented before God for their evil deeds. Those who would not, met their fate at the end of my sword. Accept the fruit of my first quest as my wedding gift.
-Your deeds set an example for all other knights. For your gift, ask a gift of me.
-They miss the battlefield. I think we do too.
-Hasn't Merlin mended your wound?
-Arthur.
-My salvation is to die a Knight of the Round Table.
-You are that and much more. You are its greatest knight, you are what is best in men. Now we will be together--
-At last...
-Don't recognize him. You were trapped by Morgana's sorcery.
-Perceval, you have returned!
-Merlin, will I live...? ...I was dreaming...
-Of Merlin?
-Yes. He spoke to me. He said I would fight bravely tomorrow. I have never dreamed of Merlin before.
-He can be no other.
-Who is Merlin?
-Whose son am I?
-You saved me from the arrow...
-But not from your destiny.
-I want to thank you.
-Merlin, help me. I need your help. I don't know how--
-It is whispered in the forest that... ...Leondegrance's castle is under siege by Lot and Uryens.
-Yes, yes, I know that. Everybody does. Lord Leondegrance is my only ally among the barons and the great knights. I can't lose him.
-Well there. You don't need me half as much as you think you do. You already know what must not happen.
-I must find the means to save him, then. I was hoping I could ask you for a little magic help, but if it makes you so tired...
-It's just that I have no experience, and no men to speak of. How can I--
-How? Where?
-In the great book.
-What book is that?
-The book without pages. Open before you, all around us. You can see it in bits and pieces, for if mortal men were to see it whole and all complete in a single glance, why, it would burn him to cinders.
-What?!
-Then as knight to knight I can offer you mercy.
-A king must marry, after all.
-I love her. If she would be my queen, my dreams would be answered.
-Who will it be? Put your mind to it, then.
-Guenevere. And a beloved friend who will betray you.
-Guenevere...
-I should have left you to fend for yourself.
-So you were stealing their honey. They should have killed you.
-Come now. So much anger for such a little crime? Are you sure there is nothing else troubling you?
-Excalibur! Is it true?
-The knights of Galys approach the camp. It would be politic...
-At your service, sir.
-Then answer me this. For years peace has reigned in the land. Crops grow in abundance, there is no want. Every one of my subjects enjoys his portion of happiness and justice, even those whose tiresome misunderstandings we must resolve here each day. Tell me, Merlin: have we defeated evil, as it seems?
-Where hides evil, then, in my kingdom?
-Merlin, tell me. Now that Guenevere is returned to me...
-Yes.
-Just yes? No mad laughter, no riddles, nothing but a simple yes? That frightens me.
-What? The greatest? They blend together like the metals we mix to make a good sword.
-I am alone and betrayed. By my wife, by my beloved friend, by my knights. And by you. Perhaps most of all by you. For you made me, you forged this wretched life. And like a child tired of a toy, you toss me aside, a babbling lecher trotting after my sister...
-That is my destiny. I have a destiny, too...
-With all your powers, you are content to be ridiculed, laughed at...
-My powers fade, Arthur. I resort to cheap tricks... Yes! I enjoy every moment of my foolishness, I join in the making of it, so no one can betray me. But you! You betray yourself.
-Me? I have lived by the oath of king and knight.
-I must do it myself. I must kill them both. Lancelot and Guenevere. Will you ride with me, Merlin?
-Quiet. You'll wake the men, and they must fight tomorrow for their very lives.
-I know. I have heard noises and echoes through the stones...
-What is this place, Merlin?
-But, I'm here.
-Where have you been these many years? Is it true that Morgana--
---Stories... You brought me back. Your love brought me back. Back to where you are now, in the land of dreams...
-Father...
-Rise, Mordred.
-I have come to claim what is mine, Father.
-I recognize you only as my son, no more.
-The very spear that pierced the side of Christ as he died on the cross.
-I cannot offer you the land, only my love...
-I will muster a great force of knights, and I will return to fight for what is mine.
-I left it in the tent, sir.
-Sir... Kay needed a sword. His was stolen. I saw Excalibur, and... I took it.
-You freed it, son?
-Who is, then?
-He is the mightiest and fairest of knights.
-It didn't hurt too much, did it?
-Ye...
-But I have to leave tomorrow. The forests are thick with rebels, invaders plunder our shores...
---And damsels in besieged castles are waiting to be rescued?
-I didn't know Leondegrance had a daughter.
-No, I think it's better if you just stay here to heal. At least a week.
-I'm going.
-He must stay for the feasting days of our wedding, and tell his deeds himself.
-I will ride with Sir Kay. Lancelot, rest here.
-Don't start a war on my wedding day!
-Sir Gahalt, answer the Queen.
-The Queen will be in my charge till a champion steps forward to fight on her behalf.
-Why can't you be my champion?
-If I am your judge, I cannot be your champion. When I act as your King, I cannot be your husband.
-And you cannot love me...
-The laws, my laws, must bind everyone, high and low, or they are not laws at all. Lancelot will come...
-I loved you much, as King, and sometimes as husband, but one cannot gaze too long at the sun in the sky.
-Forgive me, my wife, if you can. I was not born to live a man's life, but to be the stuff of future memory. The fellowship was a brief beginning, a fair time that cannot be forgotten; and because it will not be forgotten, that fair time may come again. Now once more I must ride with my knights to defend what was, and
-Who does it serve?
-You, my lord.
-I have waited long for you. Once you almost saw, but fear blinded you. Why am I served from the chalice?
-Because you and the land are one.
-I am wasting away and I cannot die. And I cannot live.
-The well-kept secret is whether any of them has won your heart.
-No.
-Why?
-I am a fighting man and I am married to the quest. That is enough.
-And there is no maiden in the whole world who inspires you?
-There is one.
-Who?!
-You.
-Me?
-Yes. I would swear my love to you.
-To me? But why?
-The law forbids it.
-There are things about love--
-Why didn't he kill us?
-The King without his sword, the land without a king...
-Just a man. A knight in the King's service.
-Very well. Climb up.
-I will run.
-Listen, boy, it's more than twenty days from here.
-I have found you. The Queen. An apple. Tomorrow. Sir Gawain...
-You left your husband's side? You left your brother's wedding?
-Is that Mandrake, Lord Merlin?
-It is.
-No, no, of course not. You are young...
-I'm not jealous!
-It's clear you are, and it irks me.
-No. Yes, I am. I am jealous. I want to write poems about you with moonbeams, make the sea sing your name...
-A lovestruck page!
-I showed you all my conjuring tricks...
-The deepest secrets, the forbidden formulas...
-You know what I want. I want the secret of true magic, how to thicken the stuff of dreams and wishes with the flesh of the world.
-When Arthur built the castle, I carved out a place for myself, where I could laugh or sleep, and no one would bother me.
-They do.
-You are truly magnificent!
-Merlin, the powers of Summoning, the true Name of the charms of Doing and Undoing. Show me!
-What do you want? You must desire it for me to weave it.
-You provoke me, Merlin.
-I am the cloudburst that quenches the flames.
-I am the desert, where water disappears--
---I am the sea, which covers the desert forever under its weight.
-It's done. A truce. We meet at the river.
-I should butcher all and every one of them. Merlin, what is this wagging of tongues?
-Behold the sword of power, Excalibur. Before Uther, it belonged to Lud, before Lud, to Beowulf, before Beowulf to Baldur the Good, before Baldur to Thor himself and that was when the world was young and there were more than seven colors in the rainbow. Speak the words.
-I have walked my way since the beginning of time. Sometimes I give, sometimes I take. It is mine to know which, and when.
-I swear it. By Excalibur and the holy--
---What issues from your lust will be mine. Swear it again.
-Merlin! Out of the sick sleep at last.
-Now you must pay me.
-I?
-The oath. You didn't say--
-It's not for you, Uther, hearth and home, wife and child.
-To kill and be king, is that all?
-Maybe not even that, Uther. I thought once that you were the one to unite the land under one sword. But it'll take another, a greater king...
-You strike me with words as hard as steel.
-Burke take a look at this damn thing it just doesn't make sense.
-Why it's perfectly plain, your the teacher at the college, you don't want the building torn down.
-C'mon I can read for Christ sake.
-Well what's wrong?
-Well why are they tearing the building down?
-Shall we summon the writer? He's in Paris I believe.
-What honey?
-Well, he does know the background. I doubt there's any danger in just having him assist. There should be a psychiatrist present, anyway.
-And what about the exorcist? Any ideas?
-How about Lankaster Merrin.
-Merrin? I had notion he was over in Iraq. I think I read he was working on a dig around Nineveh.
-That's right Mike. But he's finished and came back around three ot four months ago, He's in Woodstock now.
-What's he doing there? Teaching?
-No, he's working on another book.
-Don't you think he's too old, though? How's his health?
-It must be alright. He's still running around digging up tombs. Besides, he's had experience.
-I didn't know that.
-You're convinced that it's genuine.
-I don't know. No, not really I suppose. But I've made a prudent judgement that it meets the conditions set down in the Ritual.
-You'd want to do the exorcism yourself?
-Yes.
-It might be best to have a man with experience. Maybe someone who's spent time in the foreign missions.
-I see, your excellency.
-Let's see whose around. In the meantime I'll call you as soon as I know.
-Quite frankly, we don't know much about it except that it's starts with some conflict or guilt that eventually leads to the patient's delusion that his body's been invaded by an alien intellegence; a spirit if you will.
-Look, I'm telling you again and you'd better believe it, I'm not about to put her in a goddamn asylum!
-It's-
-And I don't care what you call it! I'm not putting her away!
-I'm sorry.
-It's a stylized ritual in which rabbis or priests try to drive out the so-called invading spirit. It's pretty much discarded these days, except by the Catholics who keep it in the closet as a sort of embarrassment. It has worked, in fact, although not for the reason they think, of course. It was purely the force of suggestion. The victim's belief in possession
-Hello?
-Hi
-Hi, how'd your day go?
-Here.
-Oh great, anything else?
-And you got an invitation.
-What's this?
-Dinner at the White House.
-Your kidding me. What is it a big party or something?
-Just five or six people.
-Hello? Yes this is Mrs. MacNeil. Operator you have got to be kidding I have been on this line for twenty minutes. Jesus Christ, can you believe this, he doesn't even call his daughter on her birthday for christ sake.
-Maybe the circuit is busy?
-Oh circuit my ass, he doesn't give a shit!
-What the hell do you mean going out and leaving Regan by her self! What are you kidding her window's wide open...
-What didn't he tell you?
-Didn't who tell me?
-Burke.
-What's Burke got to do with it?
-Well, when I went to get the Thorazine I had him to stay with her and... Oh, I should of known better.
-What did the doctor say?
-Oh Burke! Poor Burke!
-This was under Regan's pillow. Did you put it there?
-Where do you want this?
-What is it?
-Phonograph.
-I'm gonna miss you.
-Me too.
-Does your daughter remember if perhaps Mr. Dennings was in her room in her room that night?
-No, she was heavily sedated.
-It's serious?
-Yes, I'm affraid it is.
-May I ask...?
-We still don't know.
-Strange...strange...so baffling. The deceased comes to visit, stays only twenty minutes, and leaves all alone a very sick girl. And speaking plainly Mrs. MacNeil, as you say, it's not likely he would fall from a window. Besides that, a fall wouldn't do to his neck what we found except maybe a chance in a thousand. My hunch? My opinion? I believe he was killed
-No. Not at all,
-You were expecting a deliver y that day?
-Not that I know of.
-Groceries maybe? A package?
-I really wouldn't know, you see Karl takes care of that.
-Oh, I see.
-Want to ask him?
-Would you like some more coffee?
-Incidentally, just a chance in a million, I know; but your daughter - you could possibly ask her if she saw Mr. Dennings in her room that night?
-Look, he wouldn't have any reason to be up there in the first place.
-I know that. I realize. But if a certain British doctor never asked "What's this fungus?" we wouldn't today have penicillin. Correct?
-When she's well enough, I'll ask.
-I hate to ask you this but... for my daughter could you maybe give an autograph?
-Oh, she'd love it.
-I lied. It's for me. The spelling is on the back, Kinderman. You know that film you made called Angel? Isaw that six times.
-Thank you.
-Good morning Madame.
-Good morning Karl. Oh Karl, we've got rats in the attic you better get some traps.
-Rats?
-But it's clean?
-No. No rats.
-Yeah or maybe rats now will you just get those traps.
-Yes, I go now.
-There is nothing.
-Oh Karl, Jesus Christ Karl, don't do that.
-Very sorry, but you see, no rats!
-Bastard! I will kill you.
-Karl? Did you put this in Regan's bedroom?
-She is going to be well?
-Karl if you put this in Regan's room I want you to tell me, now did you?
-Excuse me Miss?
-What!
-A man to see you.
-Excuse me Madame? Will there be anything else?
-Morning.
-Good morning Mrs. MacNeil.
-How are you today?
-Fine thank you.
-Is it coming out Willie?
-A disorder of the nerves. At least we think it is. We don't know yet exactly how it works, but it's often seen in earl adolescence. She shows all the symptoms: the hyperactivity; the temper; her performance in math.
-Why the math?
-Now this is for Ritalin. Ten miligrams a day.
-What is it? A tranquilizer?
-A stimulant.
-Stimulant? She's higher than a kite right now!
-Her condition isn't quite what it seems. Nobody knows the cause of her hyperkinetic behaviour in a child. The Ritalin sems to work to relieve the condition, but we really don't know how or why, frankly. Your daughter's symptoms could be an overreaction to depression- but that's out of my field.
-Depression?
-Well, you mentioned her father... the divorce.
-Do you think I should take her to see a psychiatrist?
-Oh no. I'd wait and see what happens with the Ritalin. I think that's the answer. Wait two or three weeks.
-And those lies she's been telling?
-Lies?
-Ya know, those things to get attention, like saying that her bed shakes and stuff.
-Have you ever known your daughter to swear and use obscenities?
-Never.
-Well, you see, that's quite similar to things like her lying- uncharacter-
-Wait a minute. What are you talking about?
-Well, she let loose quite a string while I was examining her, Mrs. MacNeil.
-You're kidding! Like what?
-Well, I'd say her vocabulary's rather extensive.
-Hey, come on, I'm grown-up. What'd she say? I mean specifically, Doctor.
-Well, specifically, Mrs. MacNeil, she advised me to keep my fingers away from her goddam cunt.
-She used those words?
-She used those words. Look, I doubt that she even understood what she was saying.
-Yeah, I guess. Maybe not. You don't think a psychiatrist-?
-Well, It's a symptom of a type of desturbance in the chemico- electrical activity of the brain. In the case of your daughter in the temperal lobe, up here in the lateral part of the brain. It's rare, but it does cause bizarre hallucinations and usually just before a convulsion.
-Convulsion?
-The shaking of the bed, that's doubtless due to musuclar spasms.
-Oh no, that was no spasm. I got on the bed, the whole bed was thumping and rising off the floor and shaking. The whole thing, with me on it!
-So, what causes this?
-Lesion, Lesion in the temperal lobe. It's a kind of seizure disorder.
-Look doc, I really don't understand how her whole personality could change.
-The temperal lobe is very common. Could last for days, even weeks. It isn't rare to find destructive or even criminal behaviour.
-Hey do me a favour will ya'. Tell me something good.
-She's heavily sedated. She'll probably sleep through tomorrow.
-We still think the temporal lobe...
-Do you keep any drugs in your house?
-No. Of course not, nothing like that.
-Are you sure?
-Well of course I'm sure. I'd tell you. Christ, I don't even smoke grass.
-Are you planning to be home soon? LA, I mean.
-No. I'm building a new house, the old one's been sold. I was going to take Regan to Europe for a while, after she finished school here. Why d'you ask?
-Chris MacNeil?
-Please go away.
-Oh, I'm very sorry Father. Hi.
-That's okay. I should've told you I wouldn't be in uniform.
-So, how'd a shrink ever get to be a priest?
-It's the other way around. The society sent me through med school.
-Where?
-Harvard, Bellevue, John Hopkins.
-You're a friend of Father Dyer, right?
-Yes am.
-Pretty close?
-Pretty close.
-Did he tell you about my party?
-Sure did.
-About my daughter?
-No I didn't know you had one.
-He didn't mention?
-No.
-Didn't tell you of what she did?
-He didn't mention her.
-Priests keep pretty tight mouthed then?
-That depends.
-On what?
-The priest.
-I mean, what if a person, let's say, was a criminal, like maybe a murderer or something, you know? If he came to you for help, would you have to turn him in?
-If he came to me for spritual help, I'd say no.
-You wouldn't.
-No I wouldn't. But I'd try to persuade him to turn himself in.
-And how do you go about getting an exorcism?
-I beg your pardon?
-If a person was possessed by a demon of some kind, how do you go about getting an exorcism?
-Well, the first thing I'd do is put them into a time macine and send them back to the sixteenth century.
-I didn't get you?
-Well it just doesn't happen anymore Mrs. MacNeil.
-Oh yeah, since when?
-Since we learned about mental illness, paranoia, schizophrenia. All the things they taught me in Harvard. Mrs. MacNeil since the day I joined the Jesuits, I've never met one priest who has performed an exorcism, not one.
-That's all the more reason to forget about exorcism.
-Why, I don't understand?
-To begin with it could make things worse.
-But how?
-Well before the church approves an exorcism, it conducts an investigation to see if it's warranted. That takes time. In the meantime...
-You could do it yourself...
-No I couldn't, I have to have church approval, and frankly, that's rarely given,-
-Could you see her?
-Yes I could, I could see her as a psychiatrist...
-Not a psychiatrist! She needs a priest! She's already seen every fucking psychiatrist in the world and they sent me to you, now you're gonna send me back to them! Jesus Christ, won't somebody help her!
-No, you don't understand. Your daughter-
-Thanks. Look, I'm only against the possibility of doing your daughter more harm than good.
-Nothing you could do would make it any worse.
-I can't do it. I need evidence that the church would accept as signs of possession.
-Like what?
-Like her speaking in a language that she's never known or studied.
-What else?
-I don't know. I'll have to look it up.
-I thought you were supposed to be an expert.
-There are no experts. You probably know as much about possession than most priests. Look your daughter doesn't say she's a demon, she says she's the devil himself and if you've seen as many psychotics as I have, you'd know it's like saying you're Napoleon Bonaparte. You ask me what I think is best for your daughter. Six months, under observation in the best
-Did Regan know a priest was coming over?
-No.
-Did you know my mother died recently?
-Yes I did, I'm sorry.
-No, is Regan aware of it?
-Not at all. Why d'you ask?
-Wanna drink.
-Please.
-No it's alright I'll take it straight.
-Are you sure?
-Where's Regan's father?
-In Europe.
-Have you told him what's happening?
-No
-I told Regan that was holy water, I sprinkled some on her and she reacted very violently. It's tap water.
-What's the difference?
-She...killed Burke Dennings.
-What?
-Yes. He's already here.
-Is she gonna die?
-What did you do today?
-Um........Stuff.
-What kind of stuff?
-Oh mom, you should have seen this man came along on this beautiful grey horse. Wasn't it pretty?
-Really, what kind was it a mair or guilding?
-Think it was a guilding. It was grey. Oh it was so beautiful, the guy let me ride it all around.
-Well, not while we're in Washington.
-Oh............
-We'll see when we get home okay.
-When can I have one?
-Oh look at that.
-You like it?
-Hey, where'd this come from?
-I found it.
-Where?
-You've been playing with it?
-Yeah.
-You know how?
-Wait a minute you need two.
-No you don't. I do it all the time.
-You really don't want me to play huh?
-No I do, Captain Howdy said no.
-Captain who?
-Captain Howdy.
-Who's Captain Howdy?
-You know, I make the questions and he does the answers.
-Oh, Captain Howdy....
-He's nice.
-Oh I bet he is.
-Captain Howdy, Do you think my mom's pretty? Captain Howdy? Captain Howdy that isn't very nice.
-Well, maybe he's sleeping.
-Regan, why are you reading that?
-Cause I like it.
-It's not even a good picture. Looks to mature.
-I wouldn't talk.
-What are we gonna do on your birthday, isn't that nice it's on a Sunday this year, what can we do?
-I don't know
-Yeah
-Okay. And tomorrow night, I'll take you to a movie, okay?
-I love you Rags. We'll have a good day yeah?
-You can bring Mr. Dennings if you like.
-Mr. Dennings?
-Well you know it's okay.
-Well thank you very much but why on earth would I want to bring Burke on your birthday?
-You like him.
-Yeah I like him. Don't you like him? Hey what's going on? What is this?
-Your not gonna marry him are you?
-Oh my god, you kidding, me marry Burke Dennings don't be silly, of course not.
-What?
-Where'd you ever get an idea like that?
-But you like him.
-Course I like him, I like pizzas to but I'm not gonna marry one.
-Do you not like him like daddy?
-Oh Regan I love your daddy. I'll always love your daddy. Burke just comes around here a lot because he's lonely, don't got nothin' to do.
-Well I heard differently.
-Oh you did. What did you hear?
-I don't know, I just thought.
-Well your thinking's not so good.
-How do you know?
-Cause Burke and I are just friends. Okay, really.
-People get tired.
-Why does God let us get tired?
-What are you doing here?
-My bed was shaking, I can't get to sleep.
-Oh my God!
-I don't want it.
-Mother please! Oh please mother make it stop! It's burning, it's burning please mother!
-So something please Doctor, Help her!
-All done.
-Honey this is Father Dyer.
-Over behind the church, you know where I mean over there, it's a red brick wing?
-St. Mike's.
-What goes down there? I mean who's the priest I keep seeing, he's there all the time. He has black hair and he's very intense looking?
-Damien Karras.
-Karras.
-Hi Chris. Great party.
-Yeah, don't stop. Keep going.
-She doesn't remeber a thing.
-Goodbye Father. I call you.
-Pathological states can induce abnormal strength, accelerated motor performance. For example, a ninety-pound women sees her child pinned under the wheel of a truck, runs out and lifts the wheels half a foot up off the ground. You know the story, same thing here. Same principle, I mean.
-There haven't been more than a hundred authenticated cases of so- called split personality, Mrs. MacNeil. Now I know the temptation is to leap to psychiatry, but any reasonable psychiatrist would exhaust the somatic possibilities first.
-So what's next?
-A pneumoencephelogram, I would think, pin down that lesion. It will involve another spinal.
-Oh, Christ.
-Where'd you get the money for the Chivas Regal? The poor box?
-That's an insult, I got a vow of poverty.
-Where'd you get it then?
-I stole it.
-I believe you.
-College president shouldn't drink. Tends to set a bad example, I figure I saved them from a big temptation.
-Oh Christ! I should of been there and I wasn't there, I should've been there.
-Think you can sleep?
-Are you gonna steal my shoes now?
-Goodnight Dims.
-Lieutenant?
-I came to say goodbye.
-You just missed them.
-How's the girl?
-She seemed fine.
-Ah, that's good. That's all that's important. Back to business. Back to work. Bye now, Father.
-Do you like films?
-Sure.
-I get passes. In fact I got a pass for The Crest tomorrow night. Would you like to go?
-What's playing.
-Withering Heights.
-Who's in it?
-Heathcliff, Jackie Gleason, and in the role of Catherine Earnshaw, Lucille Ball.
-I've seen it.
-Another one. Had your lunch?
-Hello Regan. I'm a friend of your mother, I'd like to help you.
-You might loosen the straps then.
-I'm affraid you might hurt yourself Regan.
-I'm not Regan.
-I see. Well then let's introduce ourselves, I'm Damien Karras.
-And I'm the Devil! Now kindly undo these straps!
-If you're the devil, why not make the straps disappear?
-That's much to vulgar a display of power Karras.
-Where's Regan?
-In here. With us.
-Your mother's in here with us Karras, would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.
-He broke the bread, gave it to his disciples and said "Take this, all of you and eat. For this is my body." When the supper had ended, he took the cup, again he gave you thanks and praise. Gave the cup to his disciples and said "Take this, all of you will drink from it, this is the cup of blood, the blood
-You'd like that?
-Intensely.
-But wouldn't that drive you out of Regan?
-It would bring us together.
-You and Regan?
-Did you do that?
-Do it again.
-In time.
-No now.
-You speak Latin?
-Ego te abslovo.
-Quod nomen mihi est?
-Bon Jour.
-Quod nomen mihi est?
-How long are you planning to stay in Regan?
-What's that?
-Ydob eht ni mraw si ti! Uoy ees I! Tseirp a si eh! Emit su evig! Nirrem! Nirrem!
-Who are you?
-I am no one! I am no one! He is a priest!
-Uoy era ohw.
-I am no one! I am no one! He is a priest!
-I'm all right.
-Your Uncle John stopped by to visit me.
-Oh really, when?
-Is that too tight?
-No.
-Now momma you have to stay off it, you can't keep go up and down those stairs you have to give it rest.
-Okay
-Dimmy, you worry for something?
-No momma.
-You are not happy. Tell me what is the matter?
-No.
-I would like you to go quickly over to the resdence Damien, and gather up a cassock for myself, two surplices, a purple stole, and some holy water, and your copy of The Roman Ritual. The Large one. I believe we should begin.
-Do you want to hear the background of the case, first?
-We may ask what is relevant, but anything beyond that is dangerous. He is a liar, the demon is a liar. He will lie to confuse us. But he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological , Damien. And powerful. So don't listen, remember that, do not listen.
-I think it would be helpful if I gave you some background on the different personalities Regan has manifested. So far, there seems to be three. She's convinced-
-Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation.
-Save me o' God by thy name, by thy might defend my cause, proud men have risen up against me, men of violence seek my life, but God is my helper, the Lord sustains my life and every need he has delivered to me, glory be to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
-As it was in the begin is now and ever shall be, world without end, amen.
-Save your servant
-Who places her trust in thee, my God.
-Be unto her o' Lord a fortified tower.
-Let the enemy have no power over her.
-And let my cry come unto thee.
-The Lord be with you.
-And also with you.
-...and to redeem through your son. Who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the holy spirit, God forever and ever.
-Amen
-Father Karras? Father Karras? Damien? The reponse please Damien!
-...and the power to confront this cruel demon.
-See the cross of the Lord. Be gone you hostile power. O'Lord hear my prayer.
-And let my cry come unto thee.
-The Lord be with you.
-Amen.
-Shut up!!
-Why this girl it makes no sense?
-What is it?
-Her heart.
-Can you give her something?
-You're not my mother!!!
-Have we met?
-William F. Kinderman. Homicide.
-What's this about?
-Yeah, it's true. You do look like a boxer. John Garfield, in Body and Soul. Exactly John Garfield anyone told you that Father?
-Do people tell you look like Paul Newman?
-You this director was doing a film here, Burke Dennings?
-I've seen him.
-You've seen him. You're also familiar with how last week he died?
-Only what I read in the papers.
-Papers. Tell me, what do you know about the subject of witchcraft? From the witching end, not the hunting.
-I once did a paper on it
-Really?
-From the psychiatric end.
-I know. I read it. These desecration's in the church you think they have anything to do with witchcraft?
-Maybe. Some rituals used in Black Mass. Maybe.
-And Dennings, you read how he died?
-Yeah, a fall.
-Let me tell you how Father, and please confidential. Burke Dennings, good Father, was found at the bottom of those steps leading to 'M' Street, with his head turned completely around. Facing backwards.
-Couldn't it of happened on the fall.
-It's possible. Possible however
-Unlikely.
-Exactly. So on the one hand we've got a witchcraft type of murder and a Black Mass style of desecration in the church.
-You think the killer and the desecrator are the same?
-Maybe somebody crazy, someone with a spite against the church, some unconscious rebellion, perhaps.
-Sick priest, is that it?
-Look, Father this is hard for you- please. But for priests on the campus here, you're the psychiatrist; you'd know who was sick at the time, who wasn't. I mean this kind of sickness. You'd know that.
-I don't know anyone who fits the description.
-Ah, doctor's ethics. If you knew you wouldn't tell, huh?
-No I probably wouldn't.
-Not to bother you with trivia, but a psychiatrist in sunny California was thrown in jail for not telling the judge what he knew about a patient.
-Is that a threat?
-No, I mentioned it only in passing.
-Hey, Father? You like movies?
-Very much.
-I get passes to the best shows in town. Mrs. K though, she gets tired and never likes to go.
-That's to bad.
-Yeah, I hate to go alone. You know, I like to talk film; discuss the critique. D'you wanna see a film with me? I got passes to The Crest. It's Othello.
-Who's in it?
-Who's in it? Debbie Reynolds, Desdemona, and Othello, Groucho Marx. You're happy?
-I've seen it.
-One last time: Can you think of some priest who fits the bill?
-Come on!
-Answer the question, Father Paranoia.
-Alright. You know who I think really did it?
-Who?
-The Dominicans. Go pick on them.
-MERRIN!!!!!!!
-Stick your cock up her ass! You mother fucking, worthless cocksucker!
-Your mother sucks cocks in hell Karras, you faithless slime!
-Almighty Lord, word of God the father Jesus Christ, God and Lord of all creation, who gave to your holy apostle the power to tramp underfoot serpents and scorpions. Grant me, your unworthy servant pardon for all my sins...
-I cast you out!!! Unclean spirit...!
-Shove it up your ass you faggot!
-...in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!!! It is he who commands you! He who flung you from the heights of Heaven to the depths of hell!
-Fuck him!!!
-...Be gone!!
-Fuck him Karras!!! Fuck him!!!
-...look down in pity...
-Miss?
-Yes?
-We want to see Mrs. Karras.
-Do you have an appointment?
-Yes
-Are you a relative?
-Yes I am her brother, he's the son
-Are you comfortable Regan?
-Yes.
-How old are you?
-Twelve.
-Is there someone inside you?
-Sometimes.
-Who is it?
-I don't know.
-Is it Captain Howdy?
-I don't know.
-No.
-Why not?
-I'm afraid.
-If he talks to me, I think he'll leave you. Do you want him to leave you?
-Give me the keys.
-You're not going to drive.
-Give me the keys!
-You're not going to drive!
-It's my goddamn car!
-It's our goddamn car!
-Give me the keys.
-Frankie.
-You wanted to see me, Charlie?
-Yeah, come on in.
-Little slow tonight.
-What's this?
-Your pay.
-Now? Why not tomorrow? After the show.
-Take it now.
-What about tomorrow?
-I've got the grands for two nights, Charlie. You can't just --
-What're you saying, Charlie?
-Look, Frankie. You and Jack been playing here, a long time.
-Twelve years.
-Right, twelve years. Couple times a month.
-So?
-So maybe it's time we took a vacation from each other.
-Vacation? Christ, Charlie, it's a Monday night. You said so yourself.
-Trunks?
-Swimming trunks.
-Oh. No. Strictly dryland.
-Too bad. You could use some sun. Really.
-Maybe next time.
-We have some lotion.
-Just the same.
-Nothing's the matter. Is it, sweetheart?
-Well, look at this.
-Honey ...
-You believe this? The kid won't come out. I'm playing 'Camptown Races' for him and the next thing I know he's locked himself in the bathroom. There's nothing sharp in there, is there?
-Honey ...
-Where are our kids? Has he got one of them in there?
-Beasley.
-Baker.
-What's our friend's problem?
-Teeth.
-What's wrong with them?
-They're falling out.
-They gotta go.
-How many?
-Five's my guess. Maybe more. Won't know till I get in there. Leave him now and you can pick him up in the morning.
-Isn't there something you can give him? A pill or something?
-Decay unfortunately doesn't limit itself to the denture, Mr. Baker. It spreads into his chest. Then the heart goes. We wouldn't want that, would we?
-How will he eat?
-Start him out on cottage cheese. If you've got him on kibble, just soak it a few minutes. Go down like pudding through a hot pipe.
-No bones?
-What do you do to him?
-Don't worry, Mr. Baker. We'll knock him out. He won't feel a thing.
-I think maybe I'll bring him back next week ...
-You the magician?
-No.
-Piano.
-Two at a time?
-My brother and I. One each.
-Oh.
-Knee. Tore it up against St. Anthony's. Right before the accident.
-Accident?
-What do you say we go for a walk, pal.
-Get your hand off me.
-Come on, friend. I can smell it on you. Get yourself a cup of coffee. You'll forget what you're angry about.
-Go fuck yourself.
-You're a real tough guy when the ladies are around, aren't you, Ace?
-Well, if it isn't the fabulous Baker Boys!
-How's the birthday girl?
-Uh, Ma, you know, no one calls him that anymore. Jack. He goes by Jack.
-I thought maybe held gotten over that.
-Twenty years, Ma ...
-Uh ... yeah, well, you know, Ma, John Kennedy went by Jack.
-Oh my God ...
-Recognize these two characters?
-I thought these were lost. Where did you find ...
-Oh no!
-Oh, look at you two. So skinny. And those tiny suits ...
-What happened to the two Clays, Willie?
-Out.
-When they coming in?
-What's the gig?
-Tag 'em, Willie. The Regency downtown, Thursday-Friday. Thanks.
-Great. Terrific. Glad you could make it.
-How we doing?
-How we ... ? What, are you kidding me?
-Am I late?
-That's not the point.
-What's the point?
-You cannot continue to walk in at the last moment, Jack.
-You want me to show up late a few nights?
-Jack.
-Frank.
-Jack.
-Frank. I'm here. I always get here. Don't sweat it.
-What's wrong with it?
-You look like you just crawled out of bed.
-You know, my brother and I have been playing together, gosh, I don't know. How long has it been, Jack?
-That's a lot of water under the bridge, eh, Jack?
-Lotta water.
-Don't make trouble, all right?
-I mean it, Jack. Behave.
-Count it.
-Huh?
-Count it.
-Jack...
-You mind telling me what that was about in there? Was that planned? Or were you just bored and decided to get creative?
-Fuck him.
-This isn't the Pine Tree Inn on Route 81, Jack.
-Fuck him.
-So we on tomorrow night?
-Listen ... why don't you come out to the house this weekend. Say hello to the kids. They've grown.
-I hate your kids, Frank.
-You're their uncle.
-Only by relation. Besides, they hate me, too.
-They don't. They're always asking about you.
-They tried to electrocute me, Frank.
-It was an accident.
-It was no fucking accident, Frank. The little one ...
-Cindy.
-She threw a goddamn radio into the bathtub. How do you explain that?
-She didn't know what she was doing. You're too sensitive.
-You got weird kids, Frank.
-What d'ya got?,
-Bosen black. Flat.
-What d'ya got?
-What do you think?
-You know, I think it's been five years since I saw you eat anything. That's the God's truth.
-Trust me, you're not missing anything.
-You look awful.
-Thanks.
-Really. You sleeping?
-Only on odd days.
-Seeing anyone in particular?
-Why the interest?
-I'm not seeing anyone. In particular.
-What about that waitress at the Ambassador?
-Uh-uh. How about you? You seeing anyone?
-Funny. Strike a bell?
-It's only a ring. Not a collar.
-By the way, we gotta go see Ma tomorrow.
-No thanks.
-No, I mean it.
-So do I.
-We gotta go, Jack.
-No, you gotta go 'cause if you don't get up there every couple weeks you feel guilty. I won't feel guilty, so I don't gotta go.
-This time you gotta go.
-I don't gotta go.
-You gotta go.
-Says who?
-Your older brother.
-You're thirteen months older than me, Frank. That might've meant something in the Apache clubhouse, but it don't cut too deep anymore.
-So what'd we get her?
-I made her nervous.
-What do you mean?
-What's with Charlie?
-Yeah?
-It's me.
-Frank?
-Yeah. Listen ... come out to the house tomorrow, will ya?
-I've had enough family for one month, Frank.
-It's not family. It's business.
-So talk to me tomorrow. After the gig.
-We don't get a gig.
-What're you talking about?
-So you'll come out, right?
-Jack.
-Your doorbell doesn't work.
-Nice, huh?
-What?
-The trees. The flowers. Nice.
-Terrific.
-Yeah ... we're gonna paint in the spring. After the rains. Look good as new.
-Charlie paid you off last night, didn't he?
-I don't know what you mean.
-The hell you don't.
-I told you. Something came up. Some political dinner or something.
-Bullshit. Fifteen years, Frank. No one paid us off.
-It wasn't like that.
-No?
-No.
-What was it like?
-Hey pal, I got a mortgage, all right? I got two kids. I got a wife. Besides, he made the deal. There's no shame in it.
-A gust of wind killed him.
-Yeah, and what put him up there?
-Look, can we forget last night? We gotta talk.
-Talk.
-Sure, why not.
-It's just an idea. I want your opinion. I mean, we go halfway on everything, right?
-It's more like 40-60, wouldn't you say?
-We agreed that if I took care of the business; I'd be entitled to the extra. Isn't that what we agreed?
-That's what we agreed.
-If you're unhappy with the arrangement --
-I'm not unhappy.
-If you'd like to assume more of the financial responsibilities, I'd be glad --
-Frank. Fuck it. Okay?
-I've tried to do well by you, Jack. By both of us.
-I'm grateful, Frank. How much? For the singer.
-What's that?
-You, Frank. All these years you been telling me we're different. We got novelty, Jack. No one can touch us.
-Two pianos isn't enough anymore, Jack.
-Thirty-seven. Thirty-seven.
-What?
-Thirty-seven girls. And not one who can carry a tune. That must be statistically impossible.
-It was a somewhat extraordinary day.
-Jack.
-Let's get it over with.
-What are you, crazy?
-I just thought we should talk about it. Between ourselves.
-What's there to talk about? She can sing. That puts her at the head of the class. That makes her the only one in the class.
-I don't know ... She had gum on her lip, for Christ sake. I don't think she's right for the act.
-You're getting cold feet about this.
-I was just thinking what Ma would think.
-How many other silent partners are there, Frank? Donna? Little Cindy? Hell, let's give Eddie a vote.
-What's the matter?
-I suppose we can bring it down a little.
-I'll drop the eighths.
-Where the hell is she?
-It's early.
-I told everyone seven-fifteen. Didn't I? Seven-fifteen.
-She'll get here.
-Awe inspiring.
-Yeah, well, Your's isn't. Let me run a comb though it.
-Get out of here.
-Come on, stand still.
-Get out of here!
-It's not gonna hurt you.
-You hit me.
-All right, all right. I'm a little tense.
-You're a fucking alarm clock.
-I just wish she'd get here, that's all.
-No.
-See anything?
-How about these?
-Oh, brother.
-Sounds like a booking agent looking to book an easy fee.
-Make it collect.
-Better take care of your fingers, little brother. Buy yourself a case of arthritis and you won't be able to play 'Chopsticks.'
-Something, huh? All those bids.
-Yeah. Something.
-Yeah ... Well, I gotta go.
-You all right?
-Yeah, fine.
-Okay I'll see you tomorrow night then.
-Hey, Frank.
-You recognized me.
-Just a lucky guess.
-So what do you think?
-Very realistic.
-Yeah.
-You want to come out to the house tomorrow? The way the bookings been piling up, Donna's decided to really lay it on. Turkey, stuffing, the whole bit. Kitchen's so full of food you can hardly move. We could use another appetite.
-Thanks, but I've got plans.
-When's the last time we played a wedding, Jack?
-November. '71.
-First night?
-Day. Wednesday.
-Last?
-I thought we had separate rooms.
-We do. She's got hers, we've got ours. Hey. Wash and Dries.
-I thought we all had separate rooms.
-She was staying at the Grand downtown ...
-It was April. April seventeenth. That one I remember.
-We were playing the lounge one night and she came in.
-Pearls. White gown. Beautiful.
-Frank asked if she'd sit in for a song, she said yes, and we did a few bars.
-He's drunk.
-Have some more wine, Frank.
-I'm putting my stuff on the right, okay?
-Okay.
-I figure that way we won't get confused.
-Right.
-Unless you want the right.
-No, you take the right.
-We might as well do the towels the same way.
-Okay.
-I just figure things'll go smoother, you know, if we have it all worked out from the beginning.
-Good idea.
-But if it doesn't work out, let me know. I'm,flexible.
-You leaving that on?
-Yeah.
-All night?
-Yeah.
-We're gonna be here a week?
-Yeah.
-So you're gonna leave it on. Every night. For a week.
-Yeah. You mind?
-Why would I mind?
-Accommodate? I don't think I know what you mean.
-I think what Mr. Daniels is trying to say, Jack, is --
-Jack ... Jack ... You're acting like a kid.
-No, that's your problem, Frank. You get around one of these assholes and you turn into a fucking three-year-old.
-What's the matter with you? So the piano's a little out of tune. So what?
-Christ, can't you hear it?
-No! I never hear it! Maybe. Sometimes. I don't know. But I won't let it bother me.
-Doesn't it matter to you?
-What matters to me is we've got the six easiest nights we've had in ten years. So 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon' sounds a little flat. So what? Nobody's gonna hear it, Jack. Nobody. So why should you care?
-Because I can hear it.
-Thank you, thank you. You know, Susie and Jack and I only just arrived here yesterday, but already the people here at the King Corporation's Moorish Manor have made us feel, well, a part of the family. And it's their hope that, before you leave, everyone of you will feel a part of that family also. So, if during-the next few days, we should
-Right. I love you, Frank.
-What?
-What's the matter with you?
-I'm sorry, Frank. All that talk about family. I just got emotional.
-How dare you say you love me.
-What the hell are you doing?
-What's it look like I'm doing? I'm tuning a goddamn piano.
-Really.
-How's it coming?
-Fine.
-How long you been at it?
-Half-hour. Once I finish this octave I'm gonna get breakfast. You see what's on the buffet?
-They stopped serving two hours ago.
-Two hours ago!
-You haven't seen Susie, have you?
-No. Why?
-Just wonder what she's up to. I never see her. Makes me nervous.
-She's a big girl.
-Yeah, well, she's our girl now. I think we better keep an eye on her. There's trouble there. Hey, listen to this. Ethel and Bert Lane. Married seventy-five years. You believe that?
-What the hell are these?
-Funny, huh?
-What?
-What're you trying to do? Wake up the whole goddamn hotel?
-You saw wrong.
-Huh?
-He's with the hotel. I called him.
-What are you talking about?
-We had a leak in the bathroom. He fixed it.
-He was wearing a suit.
-He had to come quickly. It was a big leak.
-How come I didn't hear anything?
-What're you doing down here?
-Celebrating. Join me?
-The party's over.
-Expensive hangover.
-The Royal.
-Right. The Royal. When's the last time we were there?
-Couple years.
-February?
-April.
-Right. It's incredible how you do that. Remember things.
-A useless talent.
-They were simple songs.
-Not for me. I still have to look at the music sometimes, you know that? Otherwise, I forget. I just forget. But you. You never forget. Ever. So how come you couldn't remember Ma's birthday?
-God, the old man would've loved this view, wouldn't he?
-Yeah.
-I always think of him on New Year's. How he used to pour us each half a can of beer. Remember?
-You always threw up.
-Yeah, and you drank yours like it was orange juice. He loved that about you.
-He was just having fun.
-It was like you'd passed some test, you know?
-It was just a can of beer, Frank.
-Yeah, but he told you things. He never told me anything. Even though I was the oldest. It was always you two, running off, doing things together.
-You could've come.
-I could've. But he didn't want me to.
-You're making things up, Frank.
-That takes care of this week. The tenth we got the Sheraton, the sixteenth we're at the Capri.
-The tenth's out.
-What?
-I can't make the tenth.
-What do you mean?
-I mean maybe you should check with us before you go off and book us a month in advance.
-Be reasonable, Jack.
-What're you doing?
-Just until we find another girl.
-Cancel, Frank.
-You want to know how much I got tied up in deposits with Willie? We're in for three weeks solid, Jack.
-You know, my brother and I have been playing together, gosh, I don't know. Jack?
-We're not getting paid then.
-No.
-Nothing. We get nothing.
-I told you, Jack. It's a telethon. No one gets a cent.
-What's it for?
-I don't know. Some disease.
-What disease?
-I don't know.
-You don't know?
-It's a disease, Jack. We're against it. It's not a moral decision.
-What channels it on?
-Seventy-one
-Seventy-one? What's seventy-one?
-We're on after Meadowlark. What's wrong?
-Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?
-What?
-We're playing for a goddamn gymnasium!
-Jack, you're on television.
-What-are you? A fucking moron? It's three o'clock in the morning, Frank. Who's watching? Your wife? Maybe you can get us a gig playing Little Frank's birthday party. What do you think?
-Look. I didn't know when we were going to be on until yesterday. What was I supposed to do? I had the pianos anyway.
-Basketballs, Frank. You had us playing for basketballs.
-I'm sorry. I should've checked it out. I screwed up. But that doesn't mean you walk out in the middle of a gig.
-What?
-What's happening to you, Frank? You been kissing ass so long you're starting to like it? You let that guy turn us into clowns tonight. We were always small time, but we were never clowns, Frank. What's happened to your dignity?
-Stay off it.
-No, let's stay on it. I'm sick and tired of watching you make him up into some kinda god. For Christ sake, Jack, he died doing a stupid bullshit jig. He left a wife and two sons. He wasn't a hero. He was a fool.
-You weren't there.
-That's right. I wasn't there. I don't have the luxury of being a witness to tragedy.
-Fuck you.
-Jack!
-I didn't hear you come in.
-What're you doing?
-Uh, we already boxed some things. I figured you'd want to go through Dad's stuff. It's in there. If you want to get started.
-Is everything done? The arrangements, I mean.
-Oh. Yeah. It was all worked out before, you know. She and Dad had taken care of it.
-Right.
-I set it for Wednesday. The ceremony. They're doing the stone today. It's okay? Wednesday?
-Yeah, fine.
-There's not going to be a viewing. I figured with the kids and all ...
-Go ahead.
-No.
-Bought it on the way over. Clean as a nun.
-No, it's not that. I ... can't drink from the bottle. I ... gag.
-Hey, what do you know. Looks like we can have that drink after all. What's your pleasure? We got the downtown Ramada. We got the Travelodge on Route 41. And ... the Mallory.
-I'll take the Mallory.
-Looks like these got a few years on them.
-How're your hands?
-Oh. Fine. It was nothing. Couple sore knuckles. Nothing.
-You know, that night, I ... It just all came up.
-Yeah, I know. Me, too.
-I mean, you can play. You're okay.
-Charlie called.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. Larry Shelton. Blackie. Couple others. Donna said even Lloyd called the other day. Nothing like a little absence to make the heart grow fonder, huh?
-Jesus, when was the last time we played the Mallory?
-Five years ago. November.
-Right. It was someone's birthday. Halloran?
-Daughter's. Sweet sixteen.
-Christ, that's right. How could I forget. What a nightmare.
-She asked for it.
-You should've told us you were coming, Ma. We would've come and got you.
-Spur of the moment.
-So what'd you think?
-Thrilling. Both of you.
-The audience was a little off tonight.
-A few empty tables. It's cozier. Besides, Mel Torme couldn't fill this place on a Wednesday night.
-I guess you're,right. Well, what do you say we get a little midnight snack? Theo's should still be open.
-No, no. You boys are tired.
-You sure?
-Just call me a cab.
-A cab? Ma, come on. My car's just a half block down. You wait here.
-Your limo's ready, Ma.
-Sick? How sick?
-The flu.
-So she's got a few sniffles.
-You got no right springing this on me, Frankie. It's unethical.
-Look, Nick. You want us to pack up, we'll pack up.
-Actually, that's my stage name.
-I'm sorry?
-Moran. Monica. The whole thing. It's my stage name. My real name's Blanche.
-Blanche.
-No romance, right? That's why I came up with Monica. It's what I prefer.
-Well, that's fine --
-But if you call my house and my mother answers, ask for Blanche. If you ask for Monica, she'll think you have the wrong number and hang up.
-Right.
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-And if she asks what it's about, don't tell her. She's opposed to my career.
-Uh-huh. Well, Miss Moran, what is it you'd like to do for us?
-Candy Man.' Is that all right?
-Uh... he knows it.
-Oh, sorry. I get so caught up in it sometimes. It's scary.
-Yes, it is.
-This where the auditions are?
-This is where the auditions were.
-What do you mean?
-We're finished.
-You're an hour and a half late.
-My watch is broken, too.
-This is show business?
-Look, miss. We're tired, you have gum on your lip, and we're going home.
-Just like that, huh? You're not even gonna give me a chance?
-Don't take it personally.
-How should I take it?
-I don't believe it. I come all the way down down here, break a heel, and you're not gonna give me a chance because I have gum on my lip and I'm a few minutes late.
-You're an hour and a half late.
-So if I'm so 'late how come you're still here?
-We ran long.
-So run a little longer.
-Miss --
-Terrific. Thirty-eight.
-Susie. Susie Diamond.
-I'm sorry to interrupt, but when I saw you sitting here, I just had to come over. Florence Simmons.
-Hey, it's legit. Strictly dinner and dance.
-Okay. I think that's all we need to know.
-I sing now?
-So?
-When?
-When we know.
-Ready?
-What's the problem?
-I mean, you're supposed to be backing me up, right?
-No. We are not supposed to be backing you up.
-What I mean is --
-We're a team. We work together.
-Christ, look at her. You'd think if she was gonna wear her street clothes she'd have enough sense to come in the back. Good evening, Miss Diamond. You're late.
-Where's my name?
-What-?
-And how come you guys are the only ones with your pictures on the poster?
-We'll talk about it later. Right now, you gotta get changed.
-Changed?
-Where's your dress?
-What's he talking about?
-Is there a language problem here? Your dress. For tonight. Where is it?
-Do I look like I'm naked?
-That! You can't wear that!
-What's wrong with it?
-It's orange!
-Come on.
-Hey!
-Come on. We don't have much time.
-If you ask me, this is pretty stupid.
-Just look. What do you wear? A nine?
-A seven.
-My wife wears a seven. You don't look like a seven to me.
-I wear a seven.
-Okay, okay. Here, how about this?
-Save it for your wife.
-Hey, pal. I don't know about you, but where I come from there's a little girl's room and a little boy's room and the little boys don't go where the little girls go.
-All right, but make it quick. Shoes! What size do you wear?
-Nine.
-Nine?
-Nine!
-What do you think?
-Uh... good.
-Shoes?
-They're tight.
-They're nines.
-Well, they're aspiring to be sevens.
-You can buy new ones tomorrow.
-Oh, thanks.
-Don't worry. We'll take it out of your share.
-We need scissors over here! Who's got scissors? Okay, remember. Jack and I go on first, I do the set-up, then introduce you. And you say ...
-Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be here. It's like a dream come true. And speaking of dreams ...
-Right.
-The switch. Hit the switch.
-Fucking. She says fucking in front of an entire room of people.
-I said I was sorry.
-Fucking.
-For Christ sake, I said it, I didn't do it. Besides, I don't think they were too offended, do you?
-Give me that.
-Hey!
-We are not a saloon act. We do not take tips from dirty old men.
-I was gonna split it with you guys.
-Jack, you with us?
-I guess it's,the Plaza then. That brings us to the twenty-seventh. We got the Avedon for three or the Park downtown for two.
-By the way, I got a messsage yesterday from some guy looking for New Year's action. Resort, upstate.
-Maybe it's legit.
-Uh, well ... we flipped a coin.
-Well, well. Ho, ho, ho. You moonlighting at Macy's, Frank?
-You two could play checkers.
-Maybe we should just listen to the radio.
-You play all these places?
-Baker's unabridged.
-Jesus, you fellas've made a lot of noise. What's with the stars?
-Virgins.
-Virgins?
-He's right.
-Go ahead.
-Okay.The Fantasy Inn.
-I don't believe it.
-And how about this air? I'm telling you, a few days in this place'll put five years on your life.
-Smells like fish.
-Of course it smells like fish. We're on the ocean. What'd you expect, Chanel number five?
-Smells like tuna number two to me.
-Hey, we're connected.
-Great.
-Great?
-You're kidding me.
-As Charlie Steinway is my witness.
-Peggy Lee?
-What'd she sing?
-People.' You think Streisand, right? Hot that night. Chills. Through the whole audience. I could hardly play.
-Wow. You ever see her again?
-Hey, will you look at that?
-They must've bought the same map we did.
-What do you say we send a bottle over?
-Oh yeah?
-What's with you two?
-Uh, well, I love you, too, Jack. So. Susie. How 'bout it.
-Huh?
-Got another song for us?
-Oh. Yeah. I gotta bunch of them.
-What's with you guys?
-Forget your tie, handsome ... Frank!
-You want to tell me what the hell's going on?
-Huh?
-I just saw a man walk out of your room.
-Uh ...
-In case you've forgotten, we're being paid to be here. So it might be nice if you conducted yourself with a certain amount of decency.
-Decency? Hey listen, pal ...
-Some discussion.
-I guess I ... If I jumped to...
-How about you? Got a Bar Mitzvah this weekend?
-Huh?
-I can't sing it anymore.
-What?
-That song. I can't sing it anymore. I'm gonna get sick.
-What're you talking about? They love it.
-I'm gonna throw up, Frank. I mean it. Let's drop it for the ten o'clock, okay?
-Susie. It's one more show. One more time. That's all.
-Good morning, gentlemen. I'm Mr. Daniels, the manager. I believe I've spoken to one of you on the phone.
-Tom here tells me there's a problem with the pianos. We were assured they were in tune.
-Yes, well, they are.
-Then I'm afraid I don't understand.
-They are in tune. But not with each other.
-Is that important?
-Terrific, boys. Really. Terrific.
-Thanks, Lloyd.
-Yes, sir. You're just what we needed on a night like this.
-Uh ... You don't know when you'll be wanting us back, do you, Lloyd?
-I'll call you.
-Uh, well, you know, the way our schedule is, I thought maybe...
-Yes, sir. That's quite a girl you boys latched onto. She a local?
-Born and bred.
-Lucky for you. Well, there you go, guys. Don't spend it all in one place. Oh ... you want to count it, Jack?
-Whatcha doin' over there?
-Gotta go.
-How come?
-Funny hours.
-Funny job.
-Brought it.
-Shit, thank God. You look like a creep.
-Thanks.
-No.
-Don't worry about it.
-Barker. Jock Barker?
-Baker. Jack Baker.
-Right. Bring him back.
-You should've brought a leash, Mr. Barker. The doctor doesn't like to be bitten.
-He doesn't bite.
-They never do, Mr. Barker.
-Baker.
-No, I, uh, left a dog here this morning. He needed some work on his mouth.
-Regular hours are eight to five.
-Yeah, yeah, I know. I was just passing by. Thought I'd check in on him.
-You can check in on him tomorrow. Between eight and five.
-You want to know if he's okay. Right?
-Yeah.
-All right. Hold on.
-The name's Baker --
-Save it. What's he look like?
-Black. Labrador.
-Well, now, where's everyone run off to? Frank?
-No.
-It went well tonight.
-Frank works hard.
-And you don't?
-He leads, I follow.
-Is that the way it is?
-Pretty much.
-He mentioned you had a girl for a while. A singer.
-For a while. She left.
-Yes, well, it's probably best. No sense bringing someone else in.
-You miss him, don't you?
-It's been a long time, Ma.
-Hey, he's not sore, is he?
-You never sang before?
-Fucking.
-The Park? It's only two nights. Why throw away a night?
-Because Blackie Carson books the Park and whenever we've needed a gig he's come through.
-Where's egghead?
-His kid's sick.
-He takes after our mother.
-Uh-uh. I never touch American cigarettes. What's tomorrow again?
-The Stratford.
-Nice place. Fulla velvet. Even the bedspreads. Damn! Two-fifty a pack and I go through 'em like toothpicks. Twelve-and-a-half cents a piece, you believe that?
-Huh?
-Mmm. Like kissing a rose. Well, au revoir.
-Hey. You feel like a cup of coffee?
-You kidding? We must've killed three pots in there. Anyway, I gotta get home. Rest the pipes.
-No. Thanks. She starts to move away, then stops and looks back.
-Hey, listen. You're not going soft on me, are you? I mean, you're not gonna start dreaming about me and waking up all sweaty and looking at me like I'm some kinda princess when I burp.
-Forget it.
-I mean, that'd be too creepy. With us working together and all.
-Forget it.
-He do that every year?
-Every year.
-Aren't the kids asleep?
-Every year.
-So why's he do it?
-Oh, sorry. With the light always on, it's hard to tell.
-It's okay. Last one.
-Can't sleep?
-In and out.
-It's the waves. God's music, my mother used to say. She was crazy for the ocean.
-Yeah, well, I wish God would go a little easy on the trumpets.
-How's egghead?
-Like a baby. You?
-If you want, I got a pack in the room.
-Yeah, well, thanks for sticking your head in.
-It wasn't business. It was pleasure.
-Relax. We'll drop the song.
-Guess I got a little scattered.
-How do you do it? Every night?
-I can keep the beat.
-What's the matter?
-Nothing.
-What'd I say?
-Nothing.
-You're upset.
-I'm not upset.
-All I said was you were good.
-Look. You don't know good. All right?
-What's that supposed to mean?
-It means you wouldn't know good if it came up and fucked you.
-You were good.
-Let's make a deal. You shut up.
-You were good.
-How do you know?
-Nina?
-Who's Nina?
-Friend.
-Friend? What's she look like? Maybe I can help you find her.
-She's four feet tall. Ed?
-I have to make him some chili. Okay?
-Like diamonds, huh? I never get over it. When I was a little girl, my mama'd stand me before the window and tell me to close my eyes and make a wish.Like I could reach out and grab all the lights of the city and string them into-a necklace for myself. She'd take my hand and when she closed her eyes, I don't know,
-You know, I saw you guys once. You and Frank. At the Roosevelt.
-Must've been a cheap date.
-Soap convention.
-Soap?
-History.
-Huh?
-My father proposed to my mother in there.
-The both of them? In there?
-He called her.
-Oh. So what's it doing here?
-Long story.
-They'd been out dancing all night and he took her to the train station -- she lived over in Brookhaven. Usually held ride with her, but this time he didn't. Anyway, he starts walking home, only as he's walking he starts getting nervous.
-Nervous?
-By the time he gets to the corner newstand, he's got her meeting some rich guy on the train, the rich guy's asked her to marry him, and he's reading about it in the morning edition.
-You're kidding.
-He had a mind that escalated things.
-So, what happened?
-I don't know. Maybe he thought some rich guy was gonna try and call her.
-Wow. But I still don't see how ...
-Ma didn't want it around. After.
-Frank said ---
-Oh. Hi. Sorry.
-Coffee?
-Yeah... No.
-Look, if you want to leave...
-Shit. I think I started a fire.
-You can always get another girl.
-Saw the sign outside. Got your own sign, huh?
-Yeah. Got my own sign.
-So ... ?
-We outgrew each other.
-Yeah, well, like I said, it didn't figure. You two.
-You don't pick your brother.
-Yeah.
-So how's the cat food business?
-What kind?
-Huh?
-Vegetables.
-Listen... you want to get a drink? I got a new place. Or we could go to a bar ... Well, maybe not a bar. But I know a place uptown, if you want --
-Tell egghead I said hi. If you see him.
-Jack.
-Hi.
-Let me get the light.
-Sneak out in the morning. Before the guy could wake up and ruin it. Never figured I'd be on the other end of it, though.
-I didn't want to wake you.
-Yeah.
-Thanks. For letting me in last night.
-Ah, you know. Howsa pooch?
-Losing his teeth.
-No shit. It's the goddamn water. Kill an ox. I buy bottled for my Danny. You can't trust the taps.
-Yeah. The big boys sent it down yesterday.
-Another five years, huh?
-Like clockwork. You got a good memory, Jackie.
-It ain't always a blessing. My brother here?
-Did you break a cup, Jack?
-Guess they're up.
-Sounds big. What's he do?
-Process server. Ma said it's like a lawyer only the hours are more regular. All I know's he came to take the TV one afternoon and ended up staying for dinner. And breakfast.
-What happened to the donut king?
-In the old days, every man had a shaving mug that he kept at the barber shop. Then, whenever he wanted a shave, held go down to the barber shop and there would be his mug, waiting for him.
-Is that what you used to do?
-My days are not the old days, genius.
-What are they?
-The recent past.
-Oh. Bigfoot gets his out of a can.
-How do you know?
-I saw his stuff in the bathroom.
-Oh?
-I guess it's getting serious.
-Maybe he'll ask your ma to marry him.
-Ivory.
-Looks old.
-Older than me.
-Hey, what do you want to do? Grow a beard?
-Why not?
-Well, let's get your first prom under the belt, okay?
-What's a prom?
-I tried Cheerios this morning. He didn't even get up. Maybe they took out the wrong teeth.
-How'd the show go?
-Okay. How'd yours go?
-From Hurley's?
-Jack.
-Yeah?
-Merry Christmas, Jack.
-There were more flowers last year. Mr. Rinaldi down at the drugstore says it's going to snow by New Year's. Says he can feel it in his elbows. I hope it snows. I want to make a snowman. You ever make a snowman, Jack?
-Sure.
-John. It's good to see you.
-So. How are you?
-Fine. You?
-Big piece or little?
-Huh? Oh, no.
-None?
-How's that dog of yours? What was his name?
-Eddie.
-Yes. Right. Eddie. How is he?
-Waxy Wright. Didn't Jon Archer bust you for poisoning five members of the Canadian parliament?
-Do I look wasted -- asshole?
-Don't they ever let us take these boots off?
-Not unless you're sent to the "Clinic."
-You mean if I get sick?
-What did he do?
-Fine work, Jon.
-Yeah, real fine. Especially all the casualties.
-I'm complimenting you. Can't you ever just say "thanks"?
-... Thanks.
-Try to kiss my butt just once before I'm transferred.
-He's lying.
-Jon, he's hooked up to a full-spectrum polygraph. No one has ever beaten --
-I don't care -- he's manipulating it. That bomb has been built and it's out there, somewhere.
-Uh-oh, somebody's in trouble.
-Jesus Christ, Castor.
-Drive.
-Where am I?
-My place.
-You shouldn't have brought me here ... it's dangerous.
-I hear you're a manicurist now -- got your own business and everything. I'm glad you've stayed clean.
-Like I had a choice with that anal-retentive Jon Archer rising my ass at the probation hearing. At least he took an interest. You took off without leaving so much as a Post-it.
-Perfect fit.
-Nice-looking kid.
-Go on, Adam ... I'm not asking you for anything -- I was never even going to tell you. But hell, I never thought I'd see you again, either.
-How old is he?
-Yes ... someone might want to tear him apart -- snuff him out -- for revenge.
-And this thing can grow it?
-Yes. Pollux bought one along with the original batch. Obviously, he found a way to make more.
-Why would he need more?
-He's your brother, you figure it out. Maybe he made another bomb.
-Or reactivated the first one.
-Hey, bro ...
-You're not my brother. The brother I knew would never have been caught by that dumb fuck Archer. At least tell me the bomb is still going off.
-Pollux ...
-So?
-What do you mean?
-I was in a coma, Pollux. I still feel like shit.
-Do you know what it is to be in a coma? It fucks up everything -- including your memory! I can't even tell you why Dobbs jumped me yesterday!
-You porked his wife the day he was arrested. How could you forget that?
-I don't know. Everything's jumbled -- so you're going to have to help me fill in a few blanks.
-A few blanks? Like what?
-Oh, God -- Mom OD'd at County General.
-Uh -- to kill the doctors?
-After that. You promised you'd always take care of me.
-And I bet I've kept that promise ...
-That's not the worst part.
-What's worse than losing five million bucks?
-Thanks, Pollux.
-For what?
-For being one helluva guy.
-Well, you tried. You failed miserably, but you tried.
-Everything I say is wrong. I can't talk to her anymore.
-She's only 12. Some day she'll understand that apathy and absence are just special ways of saying "I love you."
-Is that what you think?
-Jon ... we just remember how it used to be. You staying for a while or is this just a piss-stop?
-We need to talk.
-I'm late for surgery.
-It's important.
-... I was dreaming ...
-Something good?
-We were back in high school. You wanted to join the sky diving team, but I wouldn't let you.
-Must've been after we got engaged.
-Actually -- in this dream -- I was your mother.
-So you had a nightmare.
-Totally -- you were being very, very bad. You went up in the plane and jumped out. You had a parachute, but it didn't open.
-Were you there to catch me?
-No.
-How come?
-Five years ... I still can't get it out of my head -- an inch to the left, Matty would still be alive.
-What are you saying? Oh, God -- you're going on assignment again ...
-One last time. It's important ...
-You said you'd be here! You promised me -- you promised Jamie! What could be more important than that?
-I can't tell you ... except only I can do it.
-Is someone there?
-Who is this?
-Never mind that! Just take Jamie and get out of that house. Don't tell anyone where you're going -- especially not him -- just GO.
-Okay, you're having an emotional crisis. You need to seek the help of a trained --
-Think about it, Eve! Everything he's done recently has been peculiar, right? He's said and done things your husband would never do ...
-Whoever you are, don't call again.
-I know you -- you're the one who called. You're Castor Troy. You killed my son --
-How did he expect to do that?
-I took it from my fake husband.
-Why point it at me? I'm the real thing.
-I don't know that. Maybe Jon's already dead.
-What more proof do you need?
-Christ, Jon! How could you do this to yourself? How could you do this to us? Do you know -- do you know what he did to me ...?
-He freaked out when he thought I had seen this stuff. I think it's a list of cities -- Santiago, Ho Chi Minh City, Nandi ...
-Our Pacific Rim stations. These numbers must be bounties. Castor's not wasting any time.
-What do you mean?
-He's going to kill off our bureau chiefs -- one-by-one.
-You can't go. You can't be anywhere near that place.
-Jon, what is it?
-The bomb. He's reactivated it. And everyone there is going to die.
-Can't we call someone? Admiral Lazarro?
-I know Lazarro -- the first person she'd call is "me." We can't take the chance of tipping Castor off.
-Jon, if I'm not there, he will be tipped off. I'll get rid of Jamie -- but you and I are in this together.
-How is he?
-No life signs at all. He's a turnip.
-I started wondering -- if you couldn't switch back -- would it make a difference?
-Would it?
-How's Loomis?
-Apparently, fine. He's coming into work. That's the good news ...
-Go on.
-We can send in a plant -- try to get Pollux to spill the location.
-Which ear was it?
-Jon, this is goddam insane. You can't go through with it. What about Eve?
-She doesn't know -- and she never will.
-You haven't got a chance in hell of fooling Pollux. Castor drinks, smokes and walks around with a 24-hour hard-on. He's nothing like you.
-Don't worry. I've done my homework. I'll get Pollux to talk.
-Now what?
-This is it, Jon. For the next 72 hours -- you're on your own.
-How is the "date night" idea going over with Eve?
-Like gangbusters, doc. Okay, I missed the last one.
-You missed the last three, including her birthday. Your wife's gripe sheet.
-I've been working night and day. I haven't had time.
-One of my informants spotted him -- right here in the city.
-I just asked you about making love to your wife, and you started talking about your job.
-I'm not hiding in my work, if that's what you're saying.
-Jon, I'm getting a little annoyed by your obsessive need to spoil my fun.
-What's it to you? I declare it. Here I am, back in the States for less than a month --
-You're under arrest. Incredibly, you still have the right to remain silent --
-What're you gonna do with me gone? You'll drive your wife and kid nuts! I bet your daughter is just about ripe by now. What's her name, Janie?
-Mention my family once more and you're dead.
-You can't kill me, Jon. I've got something going this Saturday night ... it's gonna be worse than anything God ever dumped on the Pharaohs -- and only I can stop it.
-You can tell me all about it -- from your prison cell.
--- Castor?
-Not anymore.
-It can't be. It's impossible.
-You killed them?
-Of course I killed them, you DUMB FUCK. And torched every shred of evidence that proves who you really are. Swallow this one, Commander. You are going to be in here for the rest of your life.
-What are you going to do, Castor?
-What are you going to do!
-Stay away from my family!
-What -- what are you doing?
-I don't know. How long before it kills us?
-Give up, Castor. People are going to find out.
-Jamie ...
-They're too tight.
-You'll what?
-You better be nice, Castor. You could get mighty lonely now that Pollux is gone.
-Pollux is -- what?
-Archer cut him a deal for turning state's evidence. He's free.
-Walton, you have to let me see the warden --
-SFPD? Castor isn't stupid enough to come back to the city.
-We've got him sighted. Okay, Pollux, pull out.
-What makes you so sure this guy's gonna set up his own brother?
-Just saving the tax-payers the cost of a trial. So take a hike.
-What's the matter with your voice, Commander?
-Screw your boundaries, Janie. You have something I want.
-Clarissa left those here.
-I won't tell mom if you don't.
-When did you start smoking?
-Get a higher arc on the ball, Jamie. And for Chrissake, square your shoulders to the basket.
-What are you -- stupid?
-You haven't changed at all! Some guy tries to rape me -- and you side with him!
-Did it look like I was siding with him? Did it? You want to play with the bad boys, you better be prepared. Do you have protection?
-You mean like ... condoms?
-There's my little darling. The night wouldn't be complete without you.
-Oh -- Commander. I didn't see you ...
-Well, I saw you -- Kim.
-Kim?
-That's your name, isn't it?
-You always call me Miss Brewster.
-You've got someone in your office.
-Get rid of them.
-You picked a helluva day to leave your beeper off!
-What happened?
-Castor's escaped!
-What happened?
-Commander, what are you doing here?
-Where should I be? Where's everyone else?
-Backing you up! Didn't you track Castor to the Army Street Terminal?
-What?
-It was confirmed by your personal security code. Nobody knows that code but you!
-You're both in custody until there's a DNA fingerprinting and we can prove who's who. Now put the gun down.
-You merciless bastard!
-I can't even look at you without wanting to vomit.
--- I'll be one of the most powerful men in the country. Didn't matter how much cash I made pulling wet jobs -- I was still too low on the food chain -- always with somebody like Jon Archer after me. The best part is -- I'm the GOOD guy.
-No -- the best part is, since it's a government job -- they can't fire you! But how can you be sure you'll get the appointment?
-Don't get mad, but I just went for a little stroll through the company switches.
-You're supposed to be snitching, making me look legit.
-Don't worry, nobody knows I'm inside. Check it out. Remember that fat fuck agent who roughed us up in Thailand? He's being treated for bone cancer at the V.A. Thanks to the miracle of NSA grid-technology ... -- Ooops! His radiation does just quadrupled.
-Are you TRYING to give us away? For somebody with such a big brain, you think awfully small.
-I'm just having some fun.
-Eight pocket stingers ... seven piper uzis ... six cobra carbines ... five - net - launch-ers ...
-We gut the organization -- and rebuild it with more reliable friends.
-Most of the current chiefs -- they must have pretty hefty prices on their heads.
-All of them do. We'll kill twelve birds with one bomb. And we'll be rich.
-You'll need to recultivate that virus.
-What about me?
-A lot of people think you're a snitch. It's dangerous ...
-Look at you, Jon -- at your age -- an American hero! I'd buy you a drink but I know you'd just turn me down.
-You're the only person in this place who can see right through me.
-You've made us look pretty good in the past week. And the way you handled the press --
-Just following your example.
-D.C.'s very high on giving you the promotion. There's just one problem.
-What's that?
-Me. I have doubts about your ability to stick with what is essentially a desk job.
-You'd have to start immediately.
-Done. In fact, I was already plotting about the best way to meet the foreign bureau chiefs.
-I just heard about Castor's fratricide -- rather poetic, don't you think?
-What is it, Admiral? I'm under the gun here.
-I just thought that -- under the circumstances -- you might want to postpone the meeting with the station chiefs.
-No. Most of them are in transit by now. I'm heading over to the hotel to personally oversee security.
-What happened to your big "assignment"?
-What do you know about it?
-As much as ever. Nothing.
-It didn't work out as planned. Where are you off to?
-The hospital.
-The hospital? Oh, that's right -- you're a doctor. Ha-ha.
-Jon -- I don't have time to play games. There're leftovers in the fridge.
-What is with you tonight?
-Don't I usually kiss my wife?
-Hurry up -- the salad's getting warm and the pasta's getting cold.
-Why do I feel like I'm on a blind date?
-I think -- you're trying to get me drunk.
-Wouldn't be the first time -- or would it?
-So -- how long will you be gone this time?
-Gone?
-Isn't that what all this is about? Letting Jamie go out, cooking me dinner, -- your next assignment?
-I'm not going anywhere.
-You always say that -- then you leave.
--- what?
-I'm replacing Lazarro. Nice, safe desk job -- just like you wanted.
-... That's great.
-You're wearing your suit --
-What's on your mind?
-Jon, it's the tenth. I know how difficult it is for you, but we still have to go.
-I'm late. Gotta protect and serve the world, y'know.
-The world can wait, Jon. You're going.
-I think Jamie's been seeing Karl again.
-Great.
-Great? He's 17 -- you told her to stay away from him.
-Oh, that Karl.
-Yes, Jon. That Karl.
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
-I disagree. You think I've been acting strange. Like a completely different person.
--- Yes.
-Where's Jamie?
-I'll deal with her later.
-I'm going to the powder room.
-Remember this from our junior prom? Boy, were you ever mad for Madonna.
-Back then -- who wasn't?
-You too? This holiday's about giving, Adelle. And I'm giving everything I've got to this deal, so in a way, I'm more Christmassy than anyone... Lifesaver?
-Oh, and Oxxford called...
-Kate Reynolds...
-Her assistant?
-Yeah Jack, her assistant...
-Kate Reynolds was my girlfriend in college. I almost married her...
-You? Married?
-Almost married. And almost a junior broker at E.F. Hutton...
-Excuse me?
-She didn't want me to go to London. We're standing at the airport saying goodbye and she asks me to stay.
-So you left her? Just like that?
-God, no. I thought about it for practically the entire flight...
-Stop Jack, I'm getting all weepy.
-I took the road less traveled, Adelle.
-No...
-No?! You almost married this woman. Aren't you even curious what she wants?
-I'll leave from the office tomorrow afternoon. Call the group. Schedule an emergency strategy session for noon.
-Hello?
-Hey Santa, where are you? Everybody’s here.
-Adelle?
-Sorry, Jack. I told Dee and the kids I'd be home by dinner. You know, it being Christmas Eve and all.
-You think I like being here on Christmas Eve, Alan?
-You're right, Jack. Sorry... Jack approaches Alan.
-I don't want you to be sorry, Alan, I want you to be excited. I want my gift to be the first one you open this year. You know why?
-Why Jack?
-Mr. Mintz.
-Please, call me Alan. We try to cultivate a casual atmosphere around here...
-You have kids, Jack?
-I was a sales associate, at E.F. Hutton.
-A broker? Really. And now you’re in the tire business?
-That’s right. And auto supply...
-Uh...we actually get about sixty percent of our business from automotive service.
-Mind if I ask what kind of sales you did last year? Ballpark...
-We did one point seven million in total revenue...
-Well, Alan, I think we’re gonna have a banner year. Sales are up almost twenty percent in the first quarter and we just landed a major trucking company account.
-Look, I know our paltry little two million in sales is about what you spend on office supplies in a year. And I know some regional trucking company account is nothing compared to a sixty billion dollar merger...
-I’m not trying to knock the tire business, Jack.
-And I know people.
-Take you, for instance...
-What about me?
-...that’s our war room. We did seven major deals last year, three of them hostile.
-Good for you. Why shouldn’t you protect what’s yours.
-I don’t think you’re hearing me.
-Jack, are you okay?
-What’s going on here?
-Excuse me?
-But I think I like you better this way...
-No.
-Rise...and...shine...!
-Mom, don’t you think we need to open the presents?
-We’re almost done here...
-Mary Janes, Mom. You promised.
-Fighting’s a part of it, Annie. You know that, right?
-This isn’t my real life. It’s just a glimpse...
-Where’s my real dad?
-They did a pretty good job.
-Who did?
-The aliens...In the mother ship. You look just like him.
-Do you like kids?
-On a case by case basis...
-You know how to make chocolate milk?
-I think I could figure it out.
-You promise not to kidnap me and my brother and implant stuff in our brains?
-This is day care. It’s where babies go when their parents are at work.
-I have winter camp until four, then ballet until five thirty.
-Five thirty. Okay.
-Try not to be late because kids don’t like to be the last one picked up.
-Got it. Good tip.
-Where do I go now?
-Big Ed’s.
-Big Ed’s? Big Ed’s Tires? Why...?
-Not bad...I shoulda warned you. Dad always does something really special for their anniversary.
-Like what?
-One year he had a solar system named after her...
-Don’t you think that’s a little gimmicky?
-Maybe there’s a jewelry store back at the mall. I could get her a pair of earrings or something.
-That’s good but...you did forget the anniversary.
-Very nice. What is it?
-Mary Had A Little Lamb.
-What are you doing?
-Is it morning yet?
-I know, I moved the Barca-lounger into the corner. It’s throwin’ everybody off. What do you think?
-We’re friends, aren’t we?
-I’m having kind of a bad day.
-What am I saying? You don’t need to hear that... All I meant was a lot of people have a hard time dealing with all the forced reverie, that’s all. Is that you?
-Is it...?
-Trouble at work?
-I don’t think so.
-You see, it’s like we’re in each other’s heads...
-Look, you fit the profile exactly. Thirties, house, kids, financial responsibilities. You start thinking...this isn’t the life I dreamt about. Where’s the romance, where’s the joie de vivre? Suddenly, every lingerie ad in the Newark Star Ledger represents a life you can’t have...
-Damn...
-Where’s your follow through? Where’s your stance?
-Hey, I’m doing the best I can... I’d like to see you hit a squash ball after seventeen beers...
-Hey Jack, you’re all flush. I guess that seventy-one took a lot outta you.
-I just saw Evelyn Thompson.
-She is relentless.
-She wants to have an affair with me.
-She said that?
-Pretty much.
-Oh yeah... What is it about you?
-So could you write down her exact address?
-Whoa...whoa...wait a second, Jack. You’re not actually gonna cheat on Kate?
-It wouldn’t really be cheating... It’s complicated.
-Look, maybe I’m not as good a consigliere as you are but you have to trust me on this one. A little flirtation’s harmless but you’re playing with fire here. The Fidelity Bank and Trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account forever.
-I’m telling you, those rules don’t apply to me, Arn.
-C’mon, Evelyn Thompson’s got no class. She doesn’t marry Dr. Steve, the woman’s living in a trailer.
-Hey, is that really necessary?
-So Jack, it’s your wife’s birthday, got anything to say to her?
-Hey, you can’t park that thing here.
-It’s me, Jack...
-I don’t care if you’re Tim Allen with your fancy car and all your tools, you still can’t park here.
-Tell me you recognize me, Arnie. Please...
-How’d you know my name?
-We bowl together. We’re bowlers ...we won a championship...we’re winners.
-Wait a second... Jack...Jack...
-Yes...Jack Campbell...
-Of course. Jack Campbell. I went to high school with you...you played baseball, right? You’re doing well...
-Yes, that’s it...yes, we went to high school together.
-You never really talked to me. I wanted to talk to you, man...
-Where’s my car?! Where’s my Ferrari!?
-What the hell are you talking about? What’s he talking about?
-Look, can I just borrow your car?! I promise it’ll be returned!
-Got a minute, Jack?
-C’mon Jack...
-DO YOU WANNA DIE?!
-No.
-Yes you do...
-Like I said, it's a business deal...
-How'd you know my name was Jack?
-You know you seem pretty relaxed for a guy who just had a gun pulled on him.
-There's no way I was gonna die in that deli... Let's just say I've been on a lucky streak lately.
-So you're telling me, you've got a gun to your head and you don't think for one second, what if this, what if that, maybe I shouldn't do this, I shoulda done that.
-Okay, Jack. Nice doing business with you... Cash is about to take off...
-What do you want to carry that gun around for, anyway? You're just gonna do something you'll regret...
-I'm just saying that you seem like a smart guy. At a certain point you're gonna do something, and then there's no turning back...
-I mean there must be programs out there, opportunities...
-Oh man, you're serious... This man thinks I need to be saved!
-Yeah? What do you need?
-Me?
-You just said everyone needs something.
-I've got everything I need.
-Look, I'm not saying you'd be able to do it without some hard work...
-You still think this is about me, don't you?
-Sure it's about you. But it's about society, too.
-Miss me, Jack?
-That’s my car! You stole my car!
-It’s a callable asset seized in accordance with the acquisition by-laws of your alt-fate contract...
-What?!
-Might wanna fasten your seat belt, Jack...
-Look, I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about, you did this...you brought this on yourself.
-Brought what on myself?! I didn’t do anything!
-No? C’mon, Jack...I’ve got everything I need, I don’t have regrets, that’s just not for me... sound familiar?
-Everyone else in that store is a statue, they see their lives passing in front of their eyes, but not you. You’re making a business deal...
-Give me my goddamn life back!
-You? What about me? I’m working hard for you here, Jack. On Christmas too! Now you did a good thing last night, intervening that way. I was moved...
-It’s a glimpse, Jacko.
-I glimpse? A glimpse of what!? What glimpse?! Glimpse!
-Look, eventually, everybody gets one...some of ‘em take a couple seconds... ...some of ‘em take a lot longer...
-Figure it out. You got plenty of time.
-How much time?!
-As long as it takes to figure it out. Which, in your case, could be considerable.
-Do I look like I need your money. It doesn’t work like that and I can’t tell you why.
-Why not?
-Because you got to figure it out for yourself. Are you listening to me?
-That’s it? That’s all I get?! A glare?!
-What’s this, a signal? Will you come whenever I ring it?
-But what do I do?
-You can’t do this. You can’t keep coming in and out of people’s lives, messing things up...
-I’ve got kids, I’m going home...
-...06...14...18...48...right there. Four numbers...that's two hundred and thirty eight dollar... Merry Christmas and shit...
-Ticket bad. You draw in lines with pencil.
-What're you talkin' about?
-What!? Look at the ticket...!
-You leave now. Take ticket somewhere else. Next customer in line...!
-You first generation, xenophobic, money-theistic, hot pastrami sandwich making...
-Like the dress...?
-It’s lovely...
-Finger food...?
-I don’t think so, thank you...
-Mushroom puffs aren’t the only thing I do well...
-Evelyn, right?
-Very funny. I saw you out there on lane five. What do you have the flu or something?
-Something like that.
-Need a nurse?
-Are we...?
-Are we what, Jack?
-Are we finally being honest?
-It would help me if we were.
-I'm thinking I might walk tonight, Frank.
-Merry Christmas to you, sir...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa...hold it right there...
-Frank. Where’s Alan Mintz? Is he here yet?
-Mr. Mintz? I don’t think so...building’s closed pal. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.
-Look, I don’t know what’s going on here but I am Senior Vice President of this company.
-I don’t care who you are. It’s Christmas and like I told you the building is closed.
-Do I have a private office somewhere in the building?
-Uh...sure Jack... Right back there...
-...I was the number one junior sales associate at E.F. Hutton in 1988. Did you know that?
-No, I didn’t...that’s great.
-That’s the kind of thing you can really build on...
-Uh huh...
-Here we are, mag wheels... Hey Jack, are you sure you’re okay?
-Kate’s on two, Jack. Nice ride...
-If you’re into that kind of conspicuous consumption...
-Why don’t you let me take this one, Kenny?
-Merry Christmas, Mr. Campbell.
-How’d you do this year, Tony?
-About four grand. And a bottle of twenty five year old scotch from Mrs. Johnson in 9D. I’m putting it all in commercial paper like you said.
-Sorry, pal. Entrance is for residents and guests only...
-What are you talking about? It’s me, Jack Campbell. Penthouse C. I put you into commercial paper!
-Every one of these songs will remind you of me in a slightly different way...
-All in one tape?
-I have a bad feeling about this.
-About the plane? What do you think it’s gonna crash? Don’t say that...
-Don’t go, Jack...
-You mean don’t go at all? What about my internship?
-Believe me I know what an incredible opportunity this is for you...
-For us, Kate.
-Right, for us. But...I’m afraid that if you get on that plane...
-Go. I’m sorry, you should just go...
-No, you’re right. What are we doing?
-I can't seem to let go of you...
-Are you okay?
-What kind of man does that!?
-Where were you?
-I was in the city.
-The city? New York City? Why?
-Because that’s where I live.
-Jack...don’t even start...
-Look, we don’t have time for this right now, we’ll talk about it later. Now get dressed... You’re not wearing that to the Thompsons’ party. I don’t care how hilarious you think it is...
-Party? Oh no, I can’t go to a party...
-You look forward to this party all year. What’s with you today?
-What are you doing?
-Telling my mother she doesn’t have to stay with the kids.
-Why not?
-Christ... Where the hell is the bathroom?
-Yes, I’m fine. It’s just this god awful football phone! Who has a phone like this anyway?!
-Jack...
-Here you go...
-You’re kidding me...
-She’s your dog, Jack.
-No, she’s not.
-Fine, she’s the kid’s dog. Let’s go wake Josh, see if he wants to walk her.
-But it’s twenty degrees outside...
-Hello!
-...my feet are hurtin’...
-Uh...that baby’s crying...
-Jack. I said the kids are asleep...
-Hey! I was watching that!
-I thought we had a deal about you watching CNBC in bed.
-Wait a second. You want me, don’t you?
-Shouldn’t we grab some dinner first? Maybe a bottle of wine...?
-It’s ten thirty, Jack. By eleven you’re gonna be sprawled out on the bed snoring your head off. We don’t have time for wining and dining.
-Thanks, Jack...
-No, I’m serious...you’re really stunning...
-This is good stuff, Jack, keep it coming...
-How can you do that?
-Do what?
-I mean...wow...off the charts great.
-$2,400?! Are you out of your mind?
-She got those shoes...
-No?
-Do you have any idea what my life is like?
-Excuse me?
-I pick up the kids, walk the dog, which by the way, carries the added bonus of carting away her monstrous crap...I play with the kids, take out the garbage, get six hours of sleep if I’m lucky, and then it starts all over again...and why is it that I always have to drive everyone everywhere? I spend practically my entire day in that
-Really.
-It’s sad to hear your life is such a disappointment to you, Jack.
-Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a saint before and I’m such a prick now. Maybe I’m just not the same guy I was when we got married...
-Well...Annie for one.
-Surprise. We’re pregnant... Yeah...that must’ve been...I mean that was very unexpected. But what are you gonna do, right?
-I think it worked out okay, don’t you?
-Sure. I really like Annie.
-Good, Jack. Maybe we’ll keep her.
-No, I love Annie. We had a lot of good times, didn’t we?
-We were young... Remember that little place on Charles Street we used to go to?
-Charles Street? In the Village? When we were living in Greenwich Village...? Great times. Why’d we ever leave?
-The trek out to the hospital every day didn’t help either... You were great. Surviving the heart attack was one thing...
-You had a heart attack?
-Jack, stop that. I'm still mad at you... ...who knows what would’ve happened if you hadn’t stepped in at the store.
-Our life in a nutshell...
-If you want to look at it that way...
-How was the game, honey?
-You mean this chocolate cake?
-C’mon.
-You want the cake!?
-Thank you...
-Say it, Jack...
-What...?
-C’mon, you know what I like to hear...
-Yeah, baby, I know what you like to hear...
-Then say it...just say it to me...!
-Not it...?
-Nice, Jack. You’re sweeping me off my feet.
-Jack.
-Maybe I should wait...
-I found it at an outlet store. I know it’s a knock-off, but I think it’ll look great on you...
-You really are incredible...
-Here’s the thing. I really hadn’t planned on giving you your...uh... anniversary gift until tonight. You know, anniversary’s good all day...
-What are you talking about? You never wait all day. You can barely wait until it’s light out.
-You actually forgot our anniversary.
-Jack...can we afford all this?
-What’s the difference? I’m taking my baby out for our anniversary, damn the costs...
-You are so not off the hook yet, slick.
-I need to tell you something.
-Okay...
-Now I’m worried...just say it. Whatever it is we’ll deal with it.
-I used to be so sure about everything, you know? I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted. Then one morning I woke up and suddenly it was all different...
-Worse, you mean...
-I never used to be like this, Kate. I had it all figured out. No doubts, no regrets.
-And now...?
-I think it’s good to be a little unsure about who you are. It’s very human.
-But you always seem so certain.
-C’mon, Jack, you think there aren’t mornings when I wake up and wonder what the hell I’m doing in New Jersey...
-That’s a big one for me, too.
-My office is a dump, I answer my own phone...and you’ve seen my pay check.
-Your pay check is a disgrace to pay checks.
-I mean yes, I help people that need it...
-I guess...some of them are probably faking.
-Imagine having a life where everything was easy...where you asked for things and people just brought them to you...
-Good things...
-You know champagne makes me do crazy things.
-I don’t know how you did it, hoss, but you pulled it off.
-I’m out of the doghouse?
-You’re so...beautiful...
-My god, all this time...I never stopped loving you...
-I could stay here forever...
-Pretty incredible, isn’t it?
-So what’s the big surprise? You didn’t rent this place for the weekend, did you?
-Think bigger.
-This place is a perk, Kate.
-A perk for what?
-You’re talking to their new Vice President of Mergers and Acquisitions.
-Are you out of your mind?
-I don’t think so. This is going to be a better life for all of us, honey. We’ll put Annie and Josh in private schools...
-Annie goes to a great school.
-I’m talking about the best schools in the country here, Kate...
-Jack, what could you possibly be thinking? What about my job?
-This is New York City, it’s like the needy people capital of the world. Those Jersey clients of yours aren’t a tenth as pathetic as the ones you could get here...
-I can’t believe you want to move back into the city. I thought the reason we left was because we didn’t want to raise the kids here?
-No, this is the center of the universe. If I were living in Roman times, I would live in Rome, where else? Today, America is the Roman Empire and New York is Rome itself. John Lennon.
-I can do that. I want to do that. For all of us. I need to do that as a man... Think about it. No more lousy restaurants, no more clipping coupons, no more shoveling snow...
-Don’t do that...
-It’s been interesting, that’s for sure.
-But I’ve done some good things too, haven’t I?
-I need you to remember me, Kate. How I am right now, right this very moment. I need you to put that image in your heart and keep it with you, no matter what happens.
-Are you okay, Jack?
-I promise, Jack...
-Promise me again...
-Kate...
-You look great.
-I'm sorry...
-What’s going on?
-I’m moving to Paris...it was right here... It’s a box marked “Jack.” I put it in the stack for the Salvation Army...
-You’re moving...
-Uh huh. To Paris. My firm has an office there and I’m going to be heading it up.
-To Paris. Paris, France.
-That’s the one...
-So you’re not at a non- profit firm?
-Not with what they pay me...
-You’re not married, are you?
-No, Jack, I never got married. You?
-You can’t go!
-Jesus, Jack...
-Don’t get on that plane!
-Jack.
-Please. Let’s just go have a cup of coffee. That’s all I’m asking for. I’m sure there’s another flight to Paris tonight.
-Don’t do this, Jack... But he continues...
-Mrs. Peterson.
-Hello Jack. You don’t have to stop singing on my account...
-It’s because I’m shy, Betty. So, when are you going to leave that old corpse Mr. Peterson and run away with me?
-No...
-Thank you, Betty. I know if I can just sleep this off, I’ll be fine...
-And sleep you shall. Noblesse oblige is not dead. Not yet anyway...Come, let’s get you some help. Surely there must be a shelter somewhere in this city.
-Peter. I don't see you rushing home to trim the tree.
-That's because I'm a heartless bastard who only cares about money.
-I just got a call from Terry Haight. Bob Thomas is nervous...
-That'll happen when you're about to spend thirty billion dollars on some aspirin...
-Someone's gonna have to nurse him through this.
-Why are you staring at my breasts, Peter?
-I need you, tiger..
-Where is he?
-Hey Peter, lemme ask you a question. An old girlfriend calls you out of the blue on Christmas Eve...
-You suddenly having trouble getting dates?
-Not by a long shot.
-Peter Lassiter...
-Do I know you?
-...we’re really more of a boutique operation, as you can see...
-He certainly has your number, Alan.
-For one thing, you like expensive things.
-That’s easy. You’ve seen my car.
-For the money, they’re hands down the best radial we carry...
-Okay, I’ll take them...
-Can I help you?
-Is Kate here? Does Kate live here?!
-Damn...damn...damn...
-Hey, are you okay?
-No...I’m not...
-Hey, my wife’s in the kitchen. You got a cigarette?
-Did you really mean what you said about Tuscany?
-Of course I did.
-Last night was great...
-You are an amazing lover. You should be giving motivational seminars.
-I want to see you again.
-I'd like that, too.
-It's Christmas Eve, Jack.
-I have to go to my parents' house out in Jersey. Would you like to come?
-Jersey? You know what the traffic's gonna be like?
-Don't you have anywhere to go?
-Maybe I can try and sneak away some time tomorrow morning... Okay?
-That’s totally see through...
-Merry Christmas...
-Do you want me to look for the box or call the airline?
-Hey, kind of under a little pressure here.
-You didn’t seem to mind offering to help me on Christmas day when you were unwrapping that Prada bag I gave you.
-I’ll go for a cup of coffee!
-I found it!
-You know, you could'a run an ad in the personals.
-"Sensual blind chick seeks three-ton, rock-hard he-man for deep spiritual relationship."
-You don't know what it's like out there. Walking around like some kind of circus freak. People staring, whispering --
-I wouldn't know anything about that.
-I mean...
-I don't think She's real big on hate.
-Such a sad face... You know, sometimes being different isn't a bad thing.
-How'd you know it was me?
-I'm not really dressed for a party.
-Relax, it's casual.
-Those yours too?
-We're going to have to work on your touch.
-Good thing it ain't workin... Reed, what are we doing here? This guy's fast-food, strip-mall science --
-He's financed some of the biggest breakthroughs of this century.
-I can't take this.
-What about his first born?
-He <u>knew</u> about NASA. What if he made the call to shut us down --
-Ben, think about all the people we can help if this works --
-Maybe you should think about <u>yourself</u> for once. You always let this guy push you round --
-We got what we wanted. That's <u>enough</u>.
-Can't do it. I cannot do it.
-External SRBs, orbital system engines. Its just like the shuttles you flew in --
-No. I cannot take orders from that underwear model. That wingnut washed out of NASA for sneaking two Victoria Secret wannabes into a flight simulator.
-They crashed it into a wall. A flight <i>simulator</i>.
-When have I asked you to do something you absolutely said you could not do?
-Five times.
-I had it at four.
-Isn't that <u>your</u> speech?
-He's made a few changes.
-This is your dream, Reed. You should be the one up there.
-The shields on the station should protect us.
-I ain't done arranging your flowers, egghead.
-How long was I out?
-Three days. I was worried about you. How are you feeling?
-I don't know. I just keep going over and over the numbers.
-Reed. Even <u>you</u> can't compute every little thing.
-You go through something like this, makes you appreciate having the right woman in your life.
-Yeah, you and Debbie and perfect --
-What? Come on. She's got a good thing with Victor --
-I'm sorry, did that cosmic-bath loosen your screws?
-He's smart, powerful, successful --
-Are you alright?
-What the --!
-Ben. Are you okay?
-We had a tough year.
-You got a chisel round here?
-Okay. I've uh, got some questions, from Sue. That she thought might be better coming from me... Can you, you know, go to the bathroom...like normal...
-Yeah. You don't wanna know the details.
-Ben, I'm afraid I've got to ask --
-Not unless you want that clipboard stretched up your --
-It's about to be a broken face.
-Ben --
-Oh, you remember my name do you? You happen to remember what you <u>swore</u> to do with every breath in your body?
-We're working as hard as we can --
-Glad "nothing" could take you away from your work.
-Time for <u>your</u> lesson, Vic. Chem 101: what happens when you <u>supercool</u> hot metal...? Ben...
-Ben, I've been crunching the numbers on the machine. I think if we can rework the power settings...
-What the hell you smiling at? Just keep your mouth shut, and your mind on those SMBs --
-If you behave, maybe next time daddy'll let you drive.
-Please tell me your dawg's not trying to rekindle things with my sister.
-'Course not. Strictly business.
-Yeah, well, his eyes say different.
-Hey, two hearts got busted last time. Maybe she's not over it either.
-Let's see: you got Victor, stud of the year, more coin than God? Or Reed, the world's dumbest smart guy worth less than a postage stamp. Hmmm, it's a toss-up.
-Put your tiny little mind at ease.
-Where...where am I?
-Back on Earth. Victor's medical facility... We're in quarantine.
-Reed? ... Sue?
-What's wrong with me?
-I swear to you they've done everything humanly possible. The best plastic surgeons in the world, Ben. You had the best --
-They said that's not such a good idea, the shock alone could --
-Hey! That's a <u>prototype</u>!
-The machine works. And Vic's gone Mister Hyde on us --
-No more cracks about how I look.
-I'll be watching over you.
-Soon as I'm back, I'm gonna trade that in for a bigger rock.
-Deb... It's me. I need you to step out front.
-Ben?
-Don't come any closer for a sec. This is gonna be kind of a shock... You remember when we said "together forever no matter what"?
-Oh my G-g-g. What did you...do to Ben?
-What did you wish for, honey?
-What are <u>you</u> doing here?
-I'm worried about you.
-About me? How sweet.
-Ben, come in.
-What is this? Where's Reed?
-What do you want, Vic?
-Reed said it'd be weeks till --
-He couldn't generate enough power for the machine to reach critical mass. Yet another mistake for "Mr. Fantastic."
-Way to not overthink it. So when do we leave?
-I can handle the ship. I can even handle Mr. Blonde Ambition. But I don't know if I should be flying or playing Vegas in these suits. Who the hell came up with them?
-We can monitor the cloud's approach and observe the tests from here.
-I can only stay for one drink, Ben. I've got to meet with Victor.
-We need to give you a physical, so we know what got zapped.
-You look like an eighties rock band.
-The suit will stretch. You should try it --
-He didn't.
-Oh, he did.
-He didn't mean it. You know Johnny. He's always been a hothead --
-It's not him. It's <u>them</u>. I can't live like this.
-Just give Reed a little more time. You know how he works -- analyzing every little step before he takes one --
-It's easy for you to be patient.
-<u>Where is Reed</u>?
-Your tissue, your organs, your entire biophysical structure is changing. Every system is still functioning, somehow --
-And they're changing into...
-I don't really know. A compound organic-metallic alloy. Stronger than titanium or carbon steel. Harder than diamonds --
-Like the shields Reed said would protect us. How long?
-At this rate, the infection should be complete in two, maybe three weeks --
-What do you mean "complete"?
-What?
-But...this disease...is progressive... degenerative...
-Victor's right. Johnny, get to the command center. Close the shields.
-He's not responsive --
-Now what is up with <i>that</i>?
-The cloud has fundamentally altered our DNA.
-Oh, you dawg you. Better not be my nurse!
-This is wrong in so many ways.
-Ben Grimm is a genuine American hero who's been through a terrible orde--
-Twenty? From outside the place looks a lot taller.
-We should stay here until we can define the extent of our changes...
-This place is deluxe. You got cable?
-Back it down, Johnny!
-Not only could you kill yourself, but you could set fire to Earth's atmosphere and destroy all human life as we know it.
-Is there something about flames? About flaming, that you --
-What are you trying to say? Just because I dress well and like to dance --
-What? No. I'm trying to figure out why we each ended up with different symptoms.
-He's right. These costumes are... missing something. I can't put my finger on it --
-That's what I'm trying to calculate. And it's not rubber. It's muscle, tendon. I seem to have the ability to manipulate the malleability of my molecular structure and redistribute my density to --
-You need to control yourself and <u>think</u> before you --
-Act. Here we go again. Reed, what if we got these gifts for a <u>reason</u>? What if we have some, you know...like, calling?
-Johnny. SUPERNOVA.
-But all these people...
-And where do we think we're going?
-You're hot!
-So are you!
-I mean, you feel a little feverish.
-I've never felt better in my life. When do you get off work?
-My shift ends at four, but I couldn't --
-Me like-y.
-Stay right. Left is trouble.
-I though we went over this.
-You're on fire!
-Not this again --
-The synthetics act as a second skin, adapting to your individual needs to --
-Apparently I can disappear.
-Flame on, flame off. Flame on, flame off --
-Stop it.
-What is that <i>thing</i>?
-Wait. You mean there's chance we could be full-on-24-7-fantastic?
-Grow up, Johnny. You want to run around <u>on fire</u> for the rest of your life?
-You're really cramping my style here.
-You were at 4000 Kelvin. Any hotter, you're approaching supernova --
-Sweet.
-Uh, we call my sister the invisible girl...the Invisible Girl.
-I'm driving.
-You're gonna pay for that, Pebbles. What?!
-You two need a time-out.
-Johnny? Did you see Ben?
-Yeah, for the last time, I hope. I'm done with this freak show. I'm moving back to the real world.
-Is that what you call it? "<i>Real</i>"?
-Johnny, slow down. <u>Think</u>. You know mom didn't raise us to --
-Look around, sis! <u>She's not here</u>. So you can stop talking to me like I'm your little boy --
-I'm sorry, sis, for leaving you guys --
-What are you doing --
-Sis. Let <u>me</u> take care of <u>you</u> for once.
-If Reed's right, then this little trip will double our stock offering.
-And if he's not...?
-They're ready for you, sir.
-Our numbers are through the roof. The IPO's tracking at fifty, sixty a share. The bank's five times oversubscribed --
-It's not just the money. I could make money in my sleep.
-Then what is it?
-Leonard, how's the feed?
-How's the IPO?
-Stable. We're looking at low twenties. It's a good number, considering the fallout from --
-Reed's disaster. You know, I half- think he did this to me on purpose.
-Get me on the AM shows, Larry King, cover of the Journal... I've <u>got to</u> do something about this scar. Make sure they only shoot my right side.
-Actually, uh, people seem to think the scar "humanizes" you.
-You know, maybe you should get some rest --
-Sir, I've always wondered... Why <u>Sue</u>? You could have any woman in the world but --
-Make sure you find Ben, bring him back here. And keep it quiet. I don't need this to hit the press.
-Yes sir. You've got the Mayor at eight, then a nine-thirty interview with the Journal --
-Front page?
-But dreams don't pay the bills, do they? Same old Reed, the hopeless optimist. Still reaching for the stars, with the world on your back.
-This isn't going to be a problem, is it?
-You back this mission, and I'll sign over a fair percentage of any applications or --
-Funny how things turn out, isn't it?
-Got it. So take a walk, Ben...I'm going to borrow Susan for a second.
-We've got <u>minutes</u> until it hits, not hours...Victor, that storm's <u>deadly</u> -- the radiation's lethal. We need to abort.
-Get a grip. Reed. We didn't come all this way to lose our nerve at the first little glitch. Just close the shields...
-Ben's still out there --
-Come on, Ben, come on...
-Not until Ben is back inside!
-Just a little banged up. A couple scrapes. Why?
-Ben did this.
-<u>Ben</u> did this?
-I'm starting to wonder the same thing... How much do you know about what happened to you?
-Didn't go as <u>planned</u>? It was a <u>catastrophe</u>. You ruined the lives of four people --
-<u>I</u> ruined? With all due respect, I told you to abort --
-<u>Abort</u>? Reed, I put my company, my name, billions of dollars on the line, and I will <u>not</u> let you make me look like a fool --
-Victor, if we could understand what happened to us --
-What are you doing here?
-But I'm not done with the machine --
-You're, you've, I mean, how have you bee--
-Those solar winds are flaring, but I factored them into my coordinates and --
-Well, uh, based on our history...you can handle the biogenetics, and I'll focus on the molecular physics. Or, uhm, maybe I should take the biotech, you work the microscopes, since you have some background in electropho--
-I, uh, think I remember the number.
-As far as crew, I was hoping Ben could pilot the mission --
-Material made from self-regulating unstable molecules. I've been working on a formula for this.
-Feeling better?
-Yes, thanks.
-That's good. That's uh...good.
-You're <u>happy</u> for me and Victor.
-I can tell you guys are enjoying what was the best part of our relationship --
-Which was?
-For science.
-Uh, Sue...? I <u>can't</u>.
-What? What do you mean you --
-It has to be the cloud. It's fundamentally altered our DNA.
-What?
-Sue. Your clothes. Lose them.
-How come Ben can't turn it on and off like us?
-That's what we're here to find out.
-It's not "invisibility" per se. You're bending the light around you with some kind of malleable force field. That's what you projected on the Bridge.
-You should be able to bend light around other objects, even people, if you could control your emotional state better --
-I'm saying, if you had a little more self control, you could locate the trigger. Can you remember the exact emotions when --
-Anger. Rage. Frustration.
-Okay. Is there any way to duplicate that feeling? Some memory or...
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that... You must think that was some kind of latent hostility or --
-I mean, <u>you</u> broke up with <u>me</u>, right?
-Are you kidding?
-Reed. I was ready for the next step, you weren't, ergo, I walked.
-I think it was a little more complicated than --
-There were a lot of variables to consider --
-What are you doing?
-If we can build a machine to re-create the storm, we can reverse the polarity --
-And reverse the mutations --
-But <u>we're</u> the focus, right Reed? <u>Reed</u>...?
-Of course. Of course.
-And you sure you can control this thing? Last time didn't work out so well.
-Reed. How close are we to a cure?
-Don't let Victor push you into making a mistake --
-He was going to take away all my data, equipment --
-Which is why I'm working <u>twenty</u> hours a day, checking every variable --
-Every variable but <u>yourself</u>. You don't eat, sleep. You can't live in your head like --
-I could get Ben to tap into the Baxter's main power to generate enough voltage --
-Remember our first date here...? God, I was so nervous.
-You <u>were</u>?
-You know, I bribed the projectionist ten bucks to keep it open late?
-You always talked about how you liked the kind of man who could approach you...speak his mind. One who wasn't afraid to tell you what he wanted.
-When I walked out, I waited <u>ten</u> <u>minutes</u> outside your door. Ten. Waiting for you to come find me.
-Why didn't you say something?
-I can...make it work.
-Reed, stop, you need to rest your --
-The power...I need...more power...to control...the storm --
-Sue, I need some of that anger, rage, frustration --
-I found a broken gasket, from space --
-It's just business.
-Surprised I agreed to Reed's proposal?
-I understand the <i>business</i> reasons.
-It's been a good two years, Victor... The company's accomplished so much.
-Right, of course, the company... But you see, I've come to realize all the accomplishments in the world mean nothing without someone to share them with --
-Uh, Victor, I hope I haven't done something to make you think...
-What are you doing?
-Raising the shields.
-What's going on?
-Victor, I'm sorry I --
-Victor, your scar --
-I told you, I'm fine. It's <u>you</u> I'm worried about.
-I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to --
-You said it was urgent.
-Victor, wait, slow down a second. I want you to know I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I just don't --
-He's working round the clock. But the data needs to be tested, analyzed before --
-If these molecules aren't stable, they could make us <u>worse</u>, maybe even kill us.
-Please don't make this personal --
-Oh, I think you already have.
-'Scuse me.
-I know it can't be easy. Life hasn't changed that much for Reed, Sue and Johnny. At least they can go out in public. But for you? People staring. Whispering behind your back...
-If you're trying to cheer me up you're doing a helluva job --
-Reed's gonna fix me up --
-For your sake I hope you're right. I'm sorry if that sounds a little skeptical.
-Grant's uniquely qualified for this mission. He's a Communications Expert and was a Frogman during the War. Besides, he brought Benes into this country, and the fewer people who know about him, the better. At any rate, you'll find Grant invaluable, should anything go wrong once you're under way. Okay, Don.
-Benes' natural defenses. White Corpuscles -- Antibodies. Once you begin to grow -- and become a menace to the body -- you'll trigger them off... MICHAELS With all the unknown factors in the body, I still say risking five lives for one is something we should reconsider --
-Where do we stand?
-Okay to proceed.
-They've crossed over into the Jugular Vein!
-That can't be -- there's no direct connection between the two --
-But we have no choice! We've got, to take them out!
-We still have fifty-one minutes. Leave them in.
-But it's hopeless! They can't go back and they can't go on. I tell you there's nothing else we can do but remove them!
-Doctor...without killing him -- how long could we stop his heart?
-The less time, the better.
-I know that. But what's the maximum?
-At topspeed...and adjusting distance for Degree of Miniaturization -- The sub should get through the Heart in fifty-seven seconds.
-That would give us only three seconds to revive him...
-What are the problems in stopping the Heart?
-<Cardiac Red Alert> we're stopping the Heart.
-They're in the Pulmonary Artery.
-Another delay... With only forty-two minutes left.
-It'll be close -- but there's still a margin of safety.
-I told you to cut down on the sugar.
-Time's up... We'll have to take them out immediately.
-What is it?
-That blip we're picking up might only be the radio-active particle. The Proteus may already be destroyed...
-What're you getting at?
-If I were in their place and I'd run out of time, I'd abandon the ship before I grew to dangerous size... and use the few extra minutes to get out the quickest way possible, on my own...
-Now how soon can we try Sodium Pentathol?
-I'd hold that off awhile.
-Hello, Grant. Good to see you again.
-Benes... What the devil happened?
-The Other Side got to him.
-How bad off is he?
-Brain injury.
-Before or after what he wanted to tell you?
--- and why we need you.
-I can't even put a Band-Aid on my finger.
-Duval. Dr. Peter Duval. Top brain man in the country. Ever hear of him?
-Sorry, but I'm rusty on surgeons. Who's the girl?
-Cora Peterson, his Technical Assistant. You'll join Duval and the others --
-Wish I knew why.
-But why take the chance, when there must be other doctors?
-We have no choice. Duval's the most skillful brain surgeon in the country, and he's right here, at hand.
-Right, sir.
-His technician okay? In addition to the Looks Department?
-I don't mean to be inquisitive. But this <CMDF> -- for all I know it could stand for <Consolidated Mobilization of Female Delinquents>?
-<Combined Miniature Deterrent Forces>.
-General, I've heard some wild ones. But this takes it.
-We can shrink an Army -- with all its equipment -- and put it in a bottle cap. That's why we call it <Combined Miniature Deterrent Forces>.
-If the Other Side ever gets hold of a thing like that...
-I assume Benes knows how to control it.
-That's right. He wanted us to have the secret, and not them. Which is why they tried to kill him.
-They're bound to try again. No wonder they want me to stand by during the operation.
-And take a little trip with them...
-Trip? Where to?
-Well, the only way to reach that clot is from inside the Brain. So we've decided to put a Surgical Team and a Crew into a submarine -- reduce it way down in size, and inject it into an Artery --
-You mean <I'm> going along?
-As part of the Crew.
-Wait a minute! They can't shrink <me>!
-Grant, our Miniaturizer can shrink anything.
-But I don't want to be Miniaturized -- !
-It's only for an hour --
-This is Dr. Duval, our Head Surgeon.
-There'll be a team of Surgeons standing by. We're prepared to remove you immediately, should anything go wrong. In any event, you must be out within sixty minutes. After that, you'll be in danger of attack.
-Just one, General...
-Yes?
-Oh yes, great. The only problem is, he can't remember what he came to tell us.
-Can't remember?... What do you mean?
-Yes, we'd like to get moving.
-Yes, Alan.
-Meet Grant. This is Dr. Michaels, Chief of the Medical Section.
-[LINE OF DIALOGUE CUT OFF]
-I don't agree. Just because he's often difficult --
-Difficult? He's impossible!
-I'll be standing by. <I'll> know.
-Listen...the Heart.
-I can't imagine how it possibly could have come loose. I distinctly recall fastening it with all four bolts --
-But we just can't leave him in there! What'll happen to him?
-That's beside the point now. I don't see the sense of going on.
-We must!
-You're going out there? With those Antibodies --
-Wouldn't it be quicker if we all helped?
-Doctor...
-Yes, Cora.
-What is it? Anything wrong?
-I just wanted to thank you for taking me along.
-Never saw <that>. Not even under an electron-mrcroscope.
-Yes, a fistula too small to show up on the X-rays.
-Doctor...you can't mean that! Not when we've come this far. And if we give up, there'll be no way of saving Mr. Benes --
-Air bubbles!... Doctor --
-Cora, is something wrong with the laser?
-He's making a fine recovery.
-Bet you're pretty handy around the house... Can you cook?
-We're pushing oxygen today.
-I'll take some Laughing Gas, ma'am.
-You sound as if you're not looking forward to it.
-Well, it's not exactly a pleasure cruise.
-I think it's the most exciting -- We're going to see things no one ever saw before. The actual physical process of Life itself -- not something under a microscope... Just think of it --
-That's the trouble. I am. Being shrunk...
-That'll teach you where to keep your hand.
-That could be quite a lethal weapon... It could kill, not cure.
-Not in the hands of a great surgeon like Dr. Duval. The beam of this laser can be regulated to one millionth of a millimeter.
-I understand you've been Dr. Duval's Assistant for quite some time... He must've snatched you out of the cradle.
-I've been with him since I got out of school. He brought me into the CMDF, over five years ago.
-A long time, with one man.
-I never...never imagined it could be anything...like this.
--- at which point the Heart will be stopped by electric shock.
-Look at that...they're changing color...
-Looks like you didn't batten it down too well.
-Then how come it worked loose?
-Shouldn't you answer that?
-I'll try to hold it from the other side of the wall, while you push from out here. Maybe that'll do it.
-You must carry spare parts --
-If you had a transistor about this size and power output, and a thin enough wire -- -- could you piece it together?
-No, it requires such absolute precision --
-A surgeon might...
-Oh yes, I'm sure Dr. Duval could. If we had the parts.
-Open it! Open it before they get here!
-No need to get up --
-Thank you for saving my life.
-That's what they pay me for.
-Such as?
-Keeping an eye on Dr. Duval...
-That's why you're really here. I knew it from the start.
-As obvious as that? Our Security people will jump for joy. I suppose Duval's onto me, too?
-You're not the first, but he's much too innocent, much too involved with his work, to realize what's going on around him.
-Under a cloud without cause, I take it.
-Oh, no. Plenty of cause. He won't follow the herd, or change his convictions -- even when they're not popular. And he believes in an absolutely free interchange of information between scientists of different countries -- and these days, there's nothing more suspicious than that.
-Depends on which end of the telescope you look through.
-What do you mean?
-We better get back to the sub. Every second counts now.
-Doctor, what's wrong?
-I can't breathe!... I've got to get out!
-Looks like the molecular structure of proteins.
-I don't agree. I think we ought to stop and take a sample.
-But that isn't possible.
-We can't take a second more.
-Nothing miraculous about it. Just an interchange of gases. The end product of five hundred million years of Evolution.
-What can we do?
-That puts us right here... Which means we can head straight for the Sub Arachnoid Cavity.
-Yes...
-It's against my better Judgment...
-Better Judgment?! To wait until the actual operation -- when it may be too late?
-I've done all I could with the laser.
-All I'm asking is you test it beforehand!
-If it won't work, it's beyond my power to fix it. But if it does, there's no telling how long it will hold up. It's a jury rig, at best, and we'll need every second of use we can get out of it. That's why I don't want to put any extra strain on the connections by running unnecessary tests.
-Dr. Duvall I insist you test the laser.
-I'll do nothing of the sort! The operation is <my> responsibility! I won't do it, and that's final!
-As usual, you want everything your way. Except this time there's more than your damned ego at stake.
-The Soul? The finite mind cannot comprehend Infinity. And the Soul which comes from God is Infinite.
---and certain chemicals involving proteins --
-You left something out.
-What's that?
-Removal Point? What're you talking about!
-Dr. Duval, you are not going through with this! I absolutely forbid it! I'm responsible for the lives of everyone here! I will not allow you or anyone else to leave this ship!
-The Medieval Philosophers were right... <Man> is the center of the Universe... We stand in the middle of Infinity, between Outer and Inner Space. And there's no limit to either.
-You mean Inner Space is endless?
-Only to the naked eye. Those corpuscles -- carrying oxygen -- give the stream its color. But the rest of the plasma's very much like sea water. An ocean of life...
-I'd hate to get lost on that Freeway...
-Mind letting me in on what's going on out there?
-A simple exchange, Mr. Grant. Corpuscles releasing carbon dioxide -- the moment they touch the Wall of the Lung -- in return for oxygen coming through from the other side.
-Don't tell me they're refueling...
-Just a few cells away from a vast air chamber -- one of the countless Alvioli of the Lung -- and we can't get enough to fill a microscopic tank.
-Isn't there another surgical procedure you can try?
-We'll never get there in time, at this rate.
-Isn't there another route? So we can by-pass all this?
-Yes... We can transfer over to the Inner Ear, and go by way of the Endolymphatic Duct.
-"Yet all the suns that light the Corridors of the Universe shine dim, Before the blazing of a Single Thought -- "
-How does it look, Doctor?
-Doctor, we've just about had it.
-The ship's good as finished. We'll have to get out on our own! Is there a quick way out?
-You said there was a quick way out!
-What about Dr. Michaels?
-We need you for Security purposes, Mr. Grant.
-At an operation?
-They know they failed to kill Benes. Security thinks they'll try again, first chance they get. We're afraid of medical sabotage -- or surgical assassination.
-Miss Peterson, his Technical Assistant.
-About forty miles an hour.
-A what?
-If we can't go back, is there an alternate route?
-That's just dandy. We can't go forward -- and we can't go back.
-Tell them to take us out.
-If there's any chance --
-Sounds like heavy artillery...
-There it is!
-At this size, I would certainly think so.
-In a way -- yes. Those are impurities imbedded in the Lung after a lifetime of 'Civilization.' Carbon from smoke and smog -- specks of dust --
-Yes -- with all that pressure, and suction within --
-All right now -- push the snorkel through as soon as I get inside.
-Grant -- wait a minute -- you're not going to dismantle the wireless?
-Just one little transistor and a circuit wire is all it takes.
-But that'll knock out our communications! We'll be cutting ourselves off from the outside.
-Well, sir? Which is it? The wireless, or Benes' life?
-Looks like the sea, at dawn.
-We're safe -- long as it remains that color... We're in the Pleural Sac. It keeps the Lungs from rubbing against the Wall of the Chest up there. When those membranes become inflamed, we wind up with Pleurisy -- and a wracking cough.
-Cough? If he can kick up a storm by just <breathing> --
-His Pleura's in fine condition. It should be clear sailing through this area.
-Sabotage? I don't understand...
-I saw the laser just before we started. It was fastened down securely. You don't suppose what happened was an 'accident?' Any more than my safety line snapping after it was tied off to the sub?
-You have no right to blame Duval --
-That line was tampered with...
-I -- I don't know what to say. I know he's under a cloud, but there's not a more dedicated man in the entire medical profession.
-You still never know what's going on in anyone's mind...
-I can't believe it. Whatever happened was an accident.
-Two in a row?
-We're entering the Lymphatic System. Those are nuclei of cells, lining a Duct.
-I always had an idea there was only one System. The Circulatory.
-Skipper, you're picking up seaweed -- or whatever it is.
-Looks like somebody declared war.
-They're tracking us Topside. Once they see where we're going, I'm sure they'll take every precaution.
-Looks like quite a way to go...
-Hold it, Skipper. What happens if we overstay?
-Once time's up, De-Miniaturization begins. In a matter of seconds the ship will grow big enough to become a danger to the System. Then White Corpuscles will swarm to destroy it, as they would any invader.
-I'm in charge of this mission! You were instructed to take orders from me, not give them!
-Sorry, but the situation has changed.
-I don't believe that.
-Sorry we had to get you up at this hour, Mr. Grant.
-I thought I was on my vacation... What's it all about?
-I can't tell you.
-Where we going?
-May I?
-What'd you do that for?
-I'm married.
-Out of your element, aren't you, Captain?
-Sort of.
-Atomic fuel?
-If it's no military secret, how can a sub run on a microscopic particle?
-They can't reduce nuclear fuel. But once the Reactor's Miniaturized -- along with the submarine -- a microscopic particle should emit enough energy to activate it.
-That's cutting it mighty close -- for a perfect fit.
-All in all, quite a canoe...
-Designed for Piscatorial Research -- the Spawning Habits of Deep Sea Fish.
-'Prepare for Miniaturization'...
-Any reserve air?
-I've come up against fanatics before, and Duval just doesn't fit the pattern. I'm going out there, Skipper. Maybe I can be of some help...
-What happened?
-Dr. Michaels... He went berserk...
-Come on -- it's no use!
-Who, me? Oh, no! Don't bother about me! We're not hurt! Isn't that right, Skipper?
-Uh -- what?
-We feel great, don't we? Just <great>?!
-Oh -- sure, sure! Never better!
-What is it, Skipper?
-Yes, there is.
-Thirty-two minutes left... But chances are we won't have to wait that long for try-number three.
-What's wrong, Skipper?
-How's it look?
-Even so, because of our size -- I mean lack of it -- we'll still be cruising mighty fast. We'll be smashed to bits if there's any turbulence --
-Captain, how will you be able to follow my charts -- --from up there?
-That's it...
-I'll never find my way through that.
-Well, that takes care of the valve. It was probably caused by that electric shock.
-Was there any damage?
-It's a dangerous procedure. If I miss the timing, we could explode the tanks... But I'm willing to try it.
-We could never fight that current it's physically impossible.
-Then don't drift down further.
-Doctor -- the channel's getting awful narrow.
-We're entering a Capillary. Remain in the middle.
-The Wall's transparent...
-There seems to be something wrong with the Escape Hatch...
-What do you mean?
-...What do you mean, you decided not to park here?
-You, uh... I'm sorry, sir, but -
-I decided not to - I'm, uh, not taking the trip as it turns out.
-I'm sorry, sir, we do have to charge you the four dollars.
-I just pulled in here. I just fucking pulled in here!
-Ophhem ma fuchem gaphe!
-Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you?
-I got your goddamn money, you little punk. Now where's my daughter?
-I am through fucking around! Drop that fucking briefcase!
-Where's my daughter?
-Fuck you, man! Where's Jerry? I gave SIMPLE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS -
-Where's my damn daughter? No Jean, no money!
-Drop that fucking money!
-No Jean, no money!
-...Is this a fucking joke?
-This is a new car, then, sir?
-It certainly is, officer. Still got that smell!
-You're required to display temporary tags, either in the plate area or taped inside the back window.
-Certainly -
-Can I see your license and registration please?
-...So maybe the best thing would be to take care of that, right here in Brainerd.
-What's this, sir?
-Just in town on business. Just in and out. Ha ha! A little of the old in-and-out!
-Wuddya do? Carl looks around.
-Have ya been to the Celebrity Room before? With other, uh, clients?
-I don't think so. It's nice.
-... What is he, deaf?... So, uh, how long have you been with the escort service?
-I don't know. Few munce.
-Ya find the work interesting, do ya?
-Or your fucking wife, you know.
-Where is Pancakes Hause?
-What?
-We stop at Pancakes Hause.
-...Come on, man. Okay, here's an idea. We'll stop outside of Brainerd. I know a place there we can get laid. Wuddya think?
-I'm fuckin' hungry now, you know.
-...Look at that. Twin Cities. IDS Building, the big glass one. Tallest skyscraper in the Midwest. After the Sears, uh, Chicago... You never been to Minneapolis?
-No.
-...Would it kill you to say something?
-I did.
-Unguent.
-Huh? Grimsurd looks at his thumb.
-Shut the fuck up or I'll throw you back in the trunk, you know.
-You'll take care of it. Boy, you are smooth smooth, you know.
-Clear him off the road.
-She started shrieking, you know.
-...You c'n'ave my truck. I'm takin' a Shiera.
-One of us pays the other for half.
-...So I guess that's it, then. Here's the keys -
-No, that's not it, Jerry.
-Huh?
-The new vehicle, plus forty thousand dollars.
-Yah, but the deal was, the car first, see, then the forty thousand, like as if it was the ransom. I thought Shep told you -
-Shep didn't tell us much, Jerry.
-Well, okay, it's -
-Except that you were gonna be here at 7:30.
-Yah, well, that was a mix-up, then.
-Yeah, you already said that.
-Yah. But it's not a whole pay-in- advance deal. I give you a brand-new vehicle in advance and -
-I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
-Okay.
-I'm not gonna sit here and debate. I will say this though: what Shep told us didn't make a whole lot of sense.
-Oh, no, it's real sound. It's all worked out.
-You want your own wife kidnapped?
-...You-my point is, you pay the ransom- what eighty thousand bucks? - I mean, you give us half the ransom, forty thousand, you keep half. It's like robbing Peter to play Paul, it doesn't make any -
-Okay, it's - see, it's not me payin' the ransom. The thing is, my wife, she's wealthy - her dad, he's real well off. Now, I'm in a bit of trouble -
-What kind of trouble are you in, Jerry?
-Well, that's, that's, I'm not go inta, inta - see, I just need money. Now, her dad's real wealthy -
-Well, it's all just part of this - they don't know I need it, see. Okay, so there's that. And even if they did, I wouldn't get it. So there's that on top, then. See, these're personal matters.
-Personal matters.
-Yah. Personal matters that needn't, uh -
-...Who's Jean?
-My wife! What the - how's -
-Oh, Jean's okay. But there's three people up in Brainerd who aren't so okay, I'll tell ya that.
-What the heck're you talkin' about? Let's just finish up this deal here -
-...Blood has been shed.
-What the heck d'ya mean?
-Three people. In Brainerd.
-Oh, geez.
-That's right. And we need more money.
-The heck d'ya mean? What a you guys got yourself mixed up in?
-We need more -
-This was s'posed to be a no-rough stuff-type deal -
-DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME, JERRY! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
-Well, I'm sorry, but I just - I -
-Look. I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry. The price is now the whole amount. We want the entire eighty thousand.
-Oh, for Chrissakes here -
-Blood has been shed. We've incurred risks, Jerry. I'm coming into town tomorrow. Have the money ready.
-Now we had a deal here! A deal's a deal!
-IS IT, JERRY? You ask those three pour souls up in Brainerd if a deal's a deal! Go ahead, ask 'em!
-...The heck d'ya mean?
-Yah, I got the money, but, uh -
-Don't you fucking but me, Jerry. I want you with this money on the Dayton- Radisson parking ramp, top level, thirty minutes, and we'll wrap this up.
-Yah, okay, but, uh -
-You're there in thirty minutes or I find you, Jerry, and I shoot you, and I shoot your fucking wife, and I shoot all your little fucking children, and I shoot 'em all in the back of their little fucking heads. Got it?
-...Yah, well, you stay away from Scotty now -
-GOT IT?
-We sat here right in this room and went over this and over this!
-Yah, but that TruCoat -
-I sat right here and said I didn't want no TruCoat!
-Yah, but I'm sayin', that TruCoat, you don't get it and you get oxidization problems. It'll cost you a heck of lot more'n five hunnert -
-You're sittin' here, you're talkin' in circles! You're talkin' like we didn't go over this already!
-Yah, but this TruCoat -
-We had us a deal here for nineteen- five. You sat there and darned if you didn't tell me you'd get this car, these options, WITHOUT THE SEALANT, for nineteen-five!
-Okay, I'm not sayin' I didn't -
-You called me twenty minutes ago and said you had it! Ready to make delivery, ya says! Come on down and get it! And here ya are and you're wastin' my time and you're wastin' my wife's time and I'm payin' nineteen- five for this vehicle here!
-Well, he never done this before, but seein' as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock one hunnert off that TruCoat.
-One hunnert's the best we can do here.
-Yah, ya got yer, this loaded here, this has yer independent, uh, yer slipped differential, uh, yer rack- and-pinion steering, yer alarm and radar, and I can give it to ya with a heck of a sealant, this TruCoat stuff, it'll keep the salt off -
-Yah, I don't need no sealant though.
-Ah, well, we haven't had to run around like you. When're you due?
-End a April.
-Any others?
-This'll be our first. We've been waiting a long time.
-That's wonderful. Mm-mm. It'll change your life, a course.
-Oh, yah, I know that!
-They can really take over, that's for sure.
-I thought you'd never ask. The older one is Janet, she's nine, and the younger one is Morgan.
-Oh, now he's adorable.
-He's three now. Course, not in that picture.
-Oh, he's adorable.
-Yah, he -
-Both of these.
-Oh, no, I can't let you do that.
-Oh, don't be silly.
-Well, okay - thank you, Detective.
-How ya doin'?
-Mr. Mohra?
-Yah.
-Officer Olson.
-...So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund & Swedlin's last Tuesday and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, 'So where can a guy find some action - I'm goin' crazy down there at the lake.' And I says, 'What kinda action?' and he says, 'Woman action, what do I look like,' And I says 'Well, what do I look like, I don't arrange
-Uh-huh.
-So he says, 'So I get it, so you think I'm some kinda jerk for askin',' only he doesn't use the word jerk.
-I unnerstand.
-And then he calls me a jerk and says the last guy who thought he was a jerk was dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, 'What do ya think about that?' So I says, 'Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him then.'
-Ya got that right.
-And he says, 'Yah, that guy's dead and I don't mean a old age.' And then he says, 'Geez, I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake.'
-White Bear Lake?
-Well, Ecklund & Swedlin's, that's closer ta Moose Lake, so I made that assumption.
-Oh sure.
-So, ya know, he's drinkin', so I don't think a whole great deal of it, but Mrs. Mohra heard about the homicides out here and she thought I should call it in, so I called it in. End a story.
-What'd this guy look like anyways?
-Oh, he was a little guy, kinda funny- lookin'.
-Uh-huh - in what way?
-Just a general way.
-Okay, well, thanks a bunch, Mr. Mohra. You're right, it's probably nothin', but thanks for callin' her in.
-Oh sure. They say she's gonna turn cold tomorrow.
-Yah, got a front movin' in.
-Hiya, Norm. How ya doin', Margie? How's the fricassee?
-Pretty darn good, ya want some?
-The numbers y'asked for, calls made from the lobby pay phone at the Blue Ox. Two to Minneapolis that night.
-Mm.
-First one's a trucking company, second one's a private residence. A Shep Proudfoot.
-Uh-huh... A what?
-Shep Proudfoot. That's a name.
-Uh-huh.
-Yah.
-...Yah, okay, I think I'll drive down there, then.
-Where you girls from?
-Well, the little guy, he was kinda funny-looking.
-In what way?
-I dunno. Just funny-looking.
-Can you be any more specific?
-I couldn't really say. He wasn't circumcised.
-Was he funny-looking apart from that?
-Yah.
-So you were having sex with the little fella, then?
-Uh-huh.
-Is there anything else you can tell me about him?
-No. Like I say, he was funny-looking. More'n most people even.
-They said they were goin' to the Twin Cities?
-LeSeure. But I went to high school in White Bear Lake.
-He was a little older. Looked like the Marlboro man.
-Yah?
-Yah. Maybe I'm sayin' that cause he smoked Marlboros.
-Uh-huh.
-A subconscious-type thing.
-Yah, that can happen.
-I'm talkin' about your potential.
-Uh-huh.
-You're not a C student.
-Uhn.
-And yet you're gettin' C grades. It's this disparity there that concerns your dad and me.
-Uh-huh.
-You know what a disparity is?
-Yeah!
-Okay. Well, that's why we don't want ya goin' out fer hockey.
-...What's the big deal? It's an hour -
-Good to see ya again, Jerry. If these numbers are right, this looks pretty sweet.
-The financials are pretty thorough, so the only thing we don't know is your fee.
-Jerry - we thought you were bringin' us an investment.
-Yah, right -
-No, see, I don't need a finder's fee, I need - finder's fee's, what, ten percent, heck that's not gonna do it for me. I need the principal.
-We're not horse-trading here, Wade, we just gotta bite the bullet on this thing.
-Yah!
-What's the next step here, Jerry?
-Okay. We'll get the money together. Don't worry about it, Jerry. Now, d'you want anyone at home, with you, until they call?
-No, I - they don't want - they're just s'posed to be dealin' with me, they were real clear.
-Ya know, they said no one listenin' in, they'll be watchin', ya know. Maybe it's all bull, but like you said, Stan, they're callin' the shots.
-Okay. And Scotty, is he gonna be all right?
-Wade's got a point there. I'll handle the call if you want, Jerry.
-So you're goin' to the Gophers on Sunday?
-You bet.
-You wouldn't have an extra ticket there?
-They're playin' the Buckeyes!
-Yah.
-...Yah, okay...
-...How ya doin' there, Scotty?
-Dad! What're they doing? Wuddya think they're doin' with Mom?
-It's okay, Scotty. They're not gonna want to hurt her any. These men, they just want money, see.
-What if - what if sumpn goes wrong?
-Dad, I really think we should call the cops.
-No! We can't let anyone know about this thing! We gotta play ball with these guys - you ask Stan Grossman, he'll tell ya the same thing!
-Yeah, but -
-Mr. Lundegaard?
-Huh? Yah?
-I wonder if I could take just a minute of your time here -
-What... What is it all about?
-...You're the owner here, Mr. Lundegaard?
-Naw, I... Executive Sales Manager.
-Well, you can help me. My name's Marge Gunderson -
-My father-in-law, he's the owner.
-...Mr. Lundegaard?
-...Brainerd?
-Yah. Yah. Home a Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox.
-...Babe the Blue Ox?
-Yah, ya know we've got the big statue there. So you haven't had any vehicles go missing, then?
-No. No, ma'am.
-Yah, no, I'm kinda - I'm kinda busy -
-I unnerstand. I'll keep it real short, then. I'm on my way out of town, but I was just - Do you mind if I sit down? I'm carrying a bit of a load here.
-Yah, it's this vehicle I asked you about yesterday. I was just wondering -
-Yah, like I told ya, we haven't had any vehicles go missing.
-Okay, are you sure, cause, I mean, how do you know? Because, see, the crime I'm investigating, the perpetrators were driving a car with dealer plates. And they called someone who works here, so it'd be quite a coincidence if they weren't, ya know, connected.
-Yah, I see.
-So how do you - have you done any kind of inventory recently?
-The car's not from our lot, ma'am.
-but do you know that for sure without -
-Well, I would know. I'm the Executive Sales Manager.
-Yah, but -
-We run a pretty tight ship here.
-I know, but - well, how do you establish that, sir? Are the cars, uh, counted daily or what kind of -
-... I'm sorry, sir?
-Ma'am, I answered your question. I answered the darn - I'm cooperating here, and I...
-Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me. I'm just doin' my job here.
-Okay, I'll do a damned lot count!
-Sir? Right now?
-...If it's so damned important to ya!
-Hon? Got the growshries.
-Thank you, hon. How's Fargo?
-Yah, real good.
-Yah, real good. How you doin'?
-Pretty good, Mr. Lundegaard. You're damned hard to get on the phone.
-Yah, it's pretty darned busy here, but that's the way we like it.
-That's for sure. Now, I just need, on these last, these financing documents you sent us, I can't read the serial numbers of the vehicles on here, so I -
-But I already got the, it's okay, the loans are in place, I already got the, the what, the -
-Yeah, the three hundred and twenty thousand dollars, you got the money last month.
-Yah, so we're all set.
-Yeah, but the vehicles you were borrowing on, I just can't read the serial numbers on your application. Maybe if you could just read them to me -
-But the deal's already done, I already got the money -
-Yeah, but we have an audit here, I just have to know that these vehicles you're financing with this money, that they really exist.
-Yah, well, they exist all right.
-I'm sure they do - ha ha! But I can't read their serial numbers here. So if you could read me -
-Well, but see, I don't have 'em in front a me - why don't I just fax you over a copy -
-No, fax is no good, that's what I have and I can't read the darn thing -
-Yah, okay, I'll have my girl send you over a copy, then.
-Okay, because if I can't correlate this note with the specific vehicles, then I gotta call back that money -
-Yah, how much money was that?
-Three hundred and twenty thousand dollars. See, I gotta correlate that money with the cars it's being lent on.
-Yah, no problem, I'll just fax that over to ya, then.
-No, no, fax is -
-I mean send it over. I'll shoot it right over to ya.
-Okay.
-Jerry Lundegaard.
-All right, Jerry, you got this phone to yourself?
-Well... yah.
-Know who this is?
-Well, yah, I got an idea. How's that Ciera workin' out for ya?
-Circumstances have changed, Jerry.
-Well, what do ya mean?
-Things have changed. Circumstances, Jerry. Beyond the, uh... acts of God, force majeure..
-Yah!
-Jerome Lundegaard?
-Yah!
-This is Reilly Deifenbach at GMAC. Sir, I have not yet received those vehicle IDs you promised me.
-Yah! I... those are in the mail.
-Mr. Lundegaard, that very well may be. I must inform you, however, that absent the receipt of those numbers by tomorrow afternoon, I will have to refer this matter to our legal department.
-Yah.
-My patience is at an end.
-Yah.
-Good day, sir.
-...Dad?
-It's okay, Scotty.
-Where're you going?
-Yah, Shep Proudfoot said -
-Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?
-Shep said 8:30.
-We been sitting here an hour. I've peed three times already.
-I'm sure sorry. I - Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.
-Ya got the car?
-Yah, you bet. It's in the lot there. Brand-new burnt umber Ciera.
-Yeah, okay. Well, siddown then. I'm Carl Showalter and this is my associate Gaear Grimsrud.
-Yah, how ya doin'. So, uh, we all set on this thing, then?
-Sure, Jerry, we're all set. Why wouldn't we be?
-...Dad?
-Yah.
-Stan Grossman called.
-Yah, okay.
-Twice.
-Okay.
-...Is everything okay?
-Are you calling Stan?
-Yah, pretty good.
-Whatcha watchin' there?
-Norstars.
-...Who they playin'?
-Wade, have ya had a chance to think about, uh, that deal I was talkin' about, those forty acres there on Wayzata?
-You told me about it.
-Yah, you said you'd have a think about it. I understand it's a lot of money -
-A heck of a lot. What'd you say you were gonna put there?
-lot. It's a limited -
-I know it's a lot.
-I mean a parking lot.
-Yah, well, seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars is a lot - ha ha ha!
-Yah, well, it's a chunk, but -
-I thought you were gonna show it to Stan Grossman. He passes on this stuff before it gets kicked up to me.
-Well, you know Stan'll say no dice. That's why you pay him. I'm asking you here, Wade. This could work out real good for me and Jean and Scotty -
-How ya doin', Wade?
-What's goin' on there?
-Oh, nothing, Wade. How ya doin' there?
-Stan Grossman looked at your proposal. Says it's pretty sweet.
-No kiddin'?
-We might be innarested.
-No kiddin'! I'd need the cash pretty quick there. In order to close the deal.
-Come by at 2:30 and we'll talk about it. If your numbers are right, Stan says its pretty sweet. Stan Grossman.
-Yah.
-Yah, thanks, Stan, it's a pretty -
-What kind of finder's fee were you looking for?
-Stan and I're okay.
-Yah.
-We're good to loan in.
-Yah.
-But we never talked about your fee for bringin' it to us.
-You're sayin' that we put in all the money and you collect when it pays off?
-What the heck were you thinkin'? Heck, if I'm only gettin' bank interest, I'd look for complete security. Heck, FDIC. I don't see nothin' like that here.
-Yah, but I - okay, I would, I'd guarantee ya your money back.
-- All's I know is, ya got a problem, ya call a professional!
-No! They said no cops! They were darned clear on that, Wade! They said you call the cops and we -
-Well, a course they're gonna say that! But where's my protection? They got Jean here! I give these sons a bitches a million dollars, where's my guarantee they're gonna let her go.
-Well, they -
-A million dollars is a lot a damn money! And there they are, they got my daughter!
-Yah, but think this thing through here, Wade. Ya give 'em what they want, why wont' they let her go? You gotta listen to me on this one, Wade.
-Heck, you don't know! You're just whistlin' Dixie here! I'm sayin', the cops, they can advise us on this! I'm sayin' call a professional!
-You're darned tootin'!
-... Stan, I'm thinkin' we should offer 'em half a million.
-Dammit! I wanna be a part a this thing!
-No, Wade! They were real clear! They said they'd call tomorrow, with instructions, and it's gonna be delivered by me alone!
-All the more reason! I don't want you - with all due respect, Jerry - I don't want you mucking this up.
-The heck d'ya mean?
-They want my money, they can deal with me. Otherwise I'm goin' to a professional. He points at a briefcase.
-...There's a million dollars here!
-No, see -
-Say, Shep, how ya doin' there?
-Mm.
-Say, ya know those two fellas ya put me in touch with, up there in Fargo?
-Put you in touch with Grimsrud.
-Well, yah, but he had a buddy there. He, uh -
-Well, I don't vouch for him.
-Well, that's okay, I just -
-I vouch for Grimsrud. Who's his buddy?
-Carl somethin'?
-Never heard of him. Don't vouch for him.
-Well, that's okay, he's a buddy of the guy ya vouched for, so I'm not worryin'. I just, I was wonderin', see, I gotta get in touch with 'em for, I might not need it anymore, sumpn's happenin', see -
-Call 'em up.
-Yah, well, see, I did that, and I haven't been able to get 'em, so I thought you maybe'd know an alternate number or what have ya.
-Hiya, Lou.
-Yah, thanks a bunch. So what's the deal, now? Gary says triple homicide?
-Where is everybody?
-Okay, so we got a state trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, and these folks drive by, and we got a high-speed pursuit, ends here, and this execution-type deal.
-Yah.
-I'd be very surprised if our suspect was from Brainerd.
-Ya see something down there, Chief?
-Uh - I just, I think I'm gonna barf.
-Geez, you okay, Margie?
-...Well, that passed.
-Yah?
-Yah. Now I'm hungry again.
-You had breakfast yet, Margie?
-Oh, yah. Norm made some eggs.
-Yah? Well, what now, d'ya think?
-There's two of 'em, Lou!
-Yah?
-Yah, this guy's smaller than his buddy.
-How's it look, Marge?
-Well, he's got his gun on his hip there, and he looks like a nice enough guy. It's a real shame.
-Yah.
-You haven't monkeyed with his car there, have ya?
-Somebody shut his lights. I guess the little guy sat in there, waitin' for his buddy t'come back.
-Yah, woulda been cold out here.
-Heck, yah. Ya think, is Dave open yet?
-You don't think he's mixed up in -
-You look in his citation book?
-...Last vehicle he wrote in was a tan Ciera at 2:18 a.m. Under the plate number he put DLR - I figure they stopped him or shot him before he could finish fillin' out the tag number.
-Uh-huh.
-So I got the state lookin' for a Ciera with a tag startin' DLR. They don't got no match yet.
-I'm not sure I agree with you a hunnert percent on your policework, there, Lou.
-Yah?
-Yah, I think that vehicle there probly had dealer plates. DLR?
-...Geez.
-Yah. Say, Lou, ya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J2L 4685?
-Yah, that's a good one.
-How we doin' on that vehicle?
-No motels registered any tan Ciera last night. But the night before, two men checked into the Blue Ox registering a Ciera and leavin' the tag space blank.
-Geez, that's a good lead. The Blue Ox, that's that trucker's joint out there on I-35?
-Yah. Owner was on the desk then, said these two guys had company.
-...You can sleep, hon. It's early yet.
-Gotta go?
-I'll fix ya some eggs.
-That's okay, hon. I gotta run.
-Gotta eat a breakfast, Marge. I'll fix ya some eggs.
-Aw, you can sleep, hon.
-...I'll fix ya some eggs.
-Yah, yah, course I remember. How are ya? What time is it?
-Oh, geez. It's quarter to eleven. I hope I dint wake you.
-No, that's okay.
-Yah, I'm down in the Twin Cities and I was just watching on TV about these shootings up in Brainerd, and I saw you on the news there.
-Yah.
-I thought, geez, is that Margie Olmstead? I can't believe it!
-Yah, that's me.
-Well, how the heck are ya?
-Okay, ya know. Okay.
-Yah?
-Yah - how are you doon?
-Oh, pretty good.
-Heck, it's been such a long time, Mike. It's great to hear from ya.
-Geez! You look great!
-Yah - easy there - you do too! I'm expecting, ya know.
-...What can I get ya?
-...This is a nice place.
-Yah, ya know it's the Radisson, so it's pretty good.
-You're livin' in Edina, then?
-Oh, yah, couple years now. It's actually Eden Prarie - that school district. So Chief Gunderson, then! So ya went and married Norm Son-of- a-Gunderson!
-Oh, yah, a long time ago.
-Great. What brings ya down - are ya down here on that homicide - if you're allowed, ya know, to discuss that?
-Oh, yah, but there's not a heckuva lot to discuss. What about you, Mike? Are you married - you have kids?
-...I was married to Linda Cooksey -
-No, I - Mike - wyncha sit over there, I'd prefer that.
-Huh? Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
-No, just so I can see ya, ya know. Don't have to turn my neck.
-Oh, sure, I unnerstand, I didn't mean to -
-No, no, that's fine.
-Yah, sorry, so I was married to Linda Cooksey - ya remember Linda? She was a year behind us.
-I think I remember Linda, yah. She was - yah. So things didn't work out, huh?
-And then I, and then I been workin' for Honeywell for a few years now.
-Well, they're a good outfit.
-Yah, if you're an engineer, yah, you could do a lot worse. Of course, it's not, uh, it's nothin' like your achievement.
-It sounds like you're doin' really super.
-Yah, well, I, uh... it's not that it didn't work out - Linda passed away. She, uh...
-I'm sorry.
-Yah, I, uh... She had leukemia, you know...
-No, I didn't...
-It was a tough, uh... it was a long - She fought real hard, Marge...
-I'm sorry, Mike.
-Better times.
-I was so... I been so... and then I saw you on TV, and I remembered, ya know... I always liked you...
-Well, I always liked you, Mike.
-I always liked ya so much...
-It's okay, Mike - Should we get together another time, ya think?
-...I'm sorry... I shouldn't a done this... I thought we'd have a really terrific time, and now I've...
-It's okay...
-You were such a super lady... and then I... I been so lonely...
-Nope.
-Well, you do reside their at 1425 Fremont Terrace?
-Yep.
-Anyone else residing there?
-Nope.
-...Now, I know you've had some problems, struggling with the narcotics, some other entanglements, currently on parole -
-So?
-Well, associating with criminals, if you're the one they talked to, that right there would be a violation of your parole and would end with you back in Stillwater.
-Uh-huh.
-...I know you don't want to be an accessory to something like that.
-Nope.
-Hello?
-Yah, is this Marge?
-Yah?
-Margie Olmstead?
-...Well, yah. Who's this?
-This is Mike Yanagita. Ya know - Mike Yanagita. Remember me?
-...Hello?
-No, I'm leavin' this mornin', back up to Brainerd.
-Well, I'm sorry I won't see ya.
-Mm. But ya think he's all right? saw him last night and he's -
-What'd he say?
-Well, it was nothin' specific he said, it just seemd like it all hit him really hard, his wife dyin' -
-His wife?
-Linda.
-No.
-Linda Cooksey?
-No. No. No. They weren't - he, uh, he was bothering Linda for about, oh, for a good year. Really pestering her, wouldn't leave her alone.
-So... they didn't...
-No. No. They never married. Mike's had psychiatric problems.
-Oh. Oh, my.
-Yah, he - he's been struggling. He's living with his parents now.
-Oh. Geez.
-Yah, Linda's fine. You should call her.
-His wife. This guy says she was kidnapped last Wednesday.
-The day of our homicides.
-And this guy is...
-Lundegaard's father-in-law's accountant.
-Gustafson's accountant.
-Yah.
-But we still haven't found Gustafson.
-- looking.
-Sorry - didn't copy.
-Still missing. We're looking.
-Copy. And Lundegaard too.
-Oh, I'm almost back - I'm driving around Moose Lake.
-Oh. Gary's loudmouth.
-Yah, the loudmouth. So the whole state has it, Lundegaard and Gustafson?
-Yah, it's over the wire, it's everywhere, they'll find 'em.
-Copy.
-We've got a -
-Whose car?
-My car! My car! Tan Ciera!
-...Chief Gunderson?
-Copy. Yah, send me back-up!
-Yes, ma'am. Are we the closest PD?
-Thanks, hon. Time to shove off.
-Hon?
-Yah?
-Yah.
-Thanks, hon.
-You bet. Thanks for lunch. What do we got here, Arbie's?
-...How's the paintin' goin'?
-Pretty good. Found out the Hautmans are entering a painting this year.
-Aw, hon, you're better'n them.
-They're real good.
-They're good, Norm, but you're better'n them.
-Yah, okay. How's the hotel?
-Oh, pretty good. They bitin'?
-Yeah, couple a muskies. No pike yet. How d'you feel?
-Oh, fine.
-Not on your feet too much?
-No, no.
-You shouldn't be on your feet too much, you got weight you're not used too. How's the food down there?
-Had dinner at a place called the King's Table. Buffet style. It was pretty darn good.
-Was it reasonable?
-Yah, not too bad. So it's nice up there?
-They announced it?
-...So?
-Three-cent stamp.
-Your mallard?
-Yah.
-It's just the three cent.
-It's terrific!
-Hautman's blue-winged teal got the twenty-nine cent. People don't much use the three-cent.
-Oh, for Pete's - a course they do! Every time they raise the darned postage, people need the little stamps!
-Yah.
-When they're stuck with a bunch a the old ones!
-Yah, I guess.
-I love you, Margie.
-Uh-huh.
-We called his house; his little boy said he hadn't been there.
-And his wife?
-She's visiting relatives in Florida. Now his boss, this guy Gustafson, he's also disappeared. Nobody at his office knows where he is.
-Geez. Looks like this thing goes higher than we thought. You call his home?
-His wife's in the hospital, has been for a couple months. The big C.
-Oh, my.
-And this Shep Proudfoot character, he's a little darling. He's now wanted for assault and parole violation. He clobbered a neighbor of his last night and another person who could be one of your perps, and he's at large.
-Boy, this thing is really... geez.
-Well, they're all out on the wire. Well, you know...
-This is do-able.
-What the heck, Jerry, if I wanted bank interest on seven hunnert'n fifty thousand I'd go to Midwest Federal. Talk to Bill Diehl.
-He's at Norstar.
-I gotta tell ya, Wade, I'm leanin' to Jerry's viewpoint here.
-Well -
-I'm tellin' ya.
-That wouldn't interest you.
-Where's Tyler?
-The first rule of Project --
-What... ?
-Get your hands off him! Get off...! What the hell do you think you're doing... ? Evidence?! This is a man... ! You killed him!
-He was killed in action.
-No! Look at you! You're... you're running around in ski masks, exploding things...
-I need to know where Tyler is. Can't you help me?
-Sir, you're disturbing the other patrons with your laudish behavior.
-There's no one else here.
-I'm sorry, I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
-Look at my face. I'm a member. I just need to know if you've seen Tyler Durden.
-You are a moron.
-This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big moosie slobbering all over me was Bob.
-We're still men.
-Yes. We're men. Men is what we are.
-Six months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. That was where my head fit -- into his huge, sweating tits that hung enormous, the way we think of God's as big.
-Bob was a champion bodybuilder. You know that chest expansion program you see on TV? That was his idea.
-...using steroids. I was a juicer. Diabonol, then, Wisterol -- it's for racehorses, for Christsake. Now I'm bankrupt, divorced, my two grown kids won't return my calls...
-Cornelius! How are you?
-Bob. I'm okay. How are you?
-Better than I've ever been in my life.
-No. I found something new.
-Really, what's that?
-The first rule is... you aren't supposed to talk about it...
-Oh.
-And the second rule about it is... you're not supposed to talk about it. And the third rule...
-Bob, Bob... I'm a member.
-You are?!
-That's a fucking great, man! Fucking great! Congratulations.
-Yeah, both of us.
-I'm going to need you out-of-town a little more this week. We've got some "red-flags" to cover.
-It must've been Tuesday. he was wearing his "cornflower-blue" tie.
-You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade?
-You need to make these your primary "action items."
-He was full of pep. Must've had his grande latte enema.
-After fight club, everything else in your life gets the volume turned down. You can deal with anything.
-Have you finished those reports?
-Is that your blood?
-I must've left the original in the copy machine.
-"The second rule of fight club... Is this yours?
-Hmm?
-You don't get paid to abuse the copy machine.
-"Abuse" the copy machine. There's an image.
-We need to talk.
-Okay. Where to begin? With your constant absenteeism? With your unpresentable appearance? You're up for review...
-Let's pretend. You're the Department of Transportation, and you discover that our company intentionally did nothing about leather seats cured in third world countries with chemicals we know cause birth defects? Brake linings that fail after a thousand miles. Fuel injectors that burn people alive.
-Just who the fuck do you think you are?! Get out! You're fired!
-This is Detective Stern with the arson unit. We have some new information about the "incident" at your condo.
-Yes?
-I don't know if you're aware... your front door -- it seems someone sprayed freon into the lock, then tapped it with a chisel to shatter the cylinder.
-No, I wasn't aware...
-I am Jack's Cold Sweat.
-Does this sound strange to you?
-The dynamite...
-Dynamite?
-Yes. It left a residue of ammonium oxalate and potassium perchloride. Do you know what that means?
-What does that mean?
-It means it was homemade.
-This is... really a shock...
-Whoever set this homemade dynamite could've blown out the pilot light days before the explosion. The gas, it seems, was just a detonator.
-Who do you think could've done this?
-No. No, sir. I loved that condo. I loved every stick of furniture. The lamps, the chairs, the rugs, were me. The dishes were me. The plants were...
-I'd like to thank the academy...
-No, you can't die of insomnia.
-Maybe I died already. Look at my face.
-You need to lighten up.
-Can't you give me something?
-Red-and-blue Tuinal, lipstick-red Seconals.
-I'm in pain.
-We need to talk.
-Sure.
-I'm on to you. You're a faker. You aren't dying.
-What?
-And I saw you practicing this...
-Practicing what?
-Telling me off. Is it going as well as you hoped... ? "... Mr. Taylor."
-I'll expose you.
-Why are you doing this?
-It's cheaper than a movie, and there's free coffee.
-These are my groups. I was here first. I've been coming for a year.
-A year? How'd you manage that?
-I... I don't know. I guess... when people think you're dying, they really listen, instead...
--- Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.
-It becomes an addiction.
-Look, I can't cry with a faker present.
-Candy-stripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem.
-We'll split up the week. You can have lymphoma, tuberculosis and --
-You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all.
-I think testicular cancer should be no contest.
-Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
-You're kidding.
-I'll take the parasites.
-You can't have both parasites. You can take blood parasites --
-I want brain parasites.
-Okay. I'll take blood parasites and organic brain dementia --
-I want that.
-You can't have the whole brain!
-So far, you have four and I only have two!
-So, we each have three -- that's six. What about the seventh day? I want ascending bowel cancer.
-That's your favorite, too? Tried to slip it by me, eh?
-We'll split it. You get it the first and third Sunday of the month.
-Looks like this is goodbye.
-Um... Marla, should we maybe exchange numbers?
-Should we?
-In case we want to switch nights.
-Where have you been the last few weeks?
-How did you find me?
-The forwarding number. I haven't seen you at any support groups.
-That's the idea -- we split them.
-You haven't been going to yours.
-I found a new one.
-Really?
-It's for men.
-Like testicular cancer?
-Look, this is a bad time...
-I've been going to debtor's anonymous. You want to see some truly fucked up people?
-I'm just on my way out...
-Picture yourself watching Marla Singer throw herself around her crummy apartment.
-This isn't a for-real suicide thing. This is probably one of those cry-for- help things.
-This could go on for hours.
-So you're staying in tonight?
-What are you doing here?
-What... ?
-Except for their humping, Tyler and Marla were never in the same room.
-I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar.
-Like sex crime victims, underwear inside-out, bound with electrical tape.
-It's time for you to leave.
-You're such a nutcase, I can't even begin to keep up.
-What are you talking about?
-Would you do something for me? I need you to check and see if there's a lump in my breast. I can't afford to throw money away on a doctor.
-I don't know ...
-Please.
-This is a sweet side of you. Picking these up for ... "Mrs. Haniver" and... "Mrs. Raines." Where are they?
-Tragically, they're dead. I'm alive and I'm in poverty. You want any?
-No, thanks.
-Where? Here?
-Here.
-There?
-Here.
-Here.
-Feel anything?
-Make sure.
-Okay. Okay, I'm sure.
-You feel nothing?
-Well, that's a relief. Thank you.
-No... no problem.
-I think everything's okay here.
-I could check your prostate.
-Uh ... nah.
-You... don't have to... leave.
-Whatever.
-Really... I mean it. Have you been going to your groups?
-Chloe's dead.
-When?
-Do you care?
-I don't know.
-I don't understand. Why does a weak person have to go out and find a strong person... to hang onto?
-You hear that?
-Hear what?
-That... sawing and hammering.
-No.
-What is this? Who did this?
-... A person.
-Guy or girl?
-Why would you ask if it's a guy or a girl?!
-Why would you get bent if I asked?
-Let go of me... Leave me alone.
-The Paper Street Soap Company.
-Can I come in?
-He's not here.
-What?
-Yeah?
-Marla, it's me. Have we... have we ever had sex?
-What kind of stupid question is that?!
-Because the answer's "yes" or because the answer's "no?"
-Is this a trick?
-Will you just answer me, for Christsake?!
-You mean, you want to know if I think we were just having sex or making love?
-We did make love?
-Is that what you're calling it?
-Answer the question!
-You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me your sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole! Is that a pretty accurate description of our relationship, Tyler?
-We've just lost cabin pressure.
-What did you say... ?
-What is wrong with you?
-Say my name.
-What... ?
-Say my name! What's my name!?
-Tyler Durden! Tyler Durden, you fucking freak. What's going on? I'm coming over there...
-Marla...
-Your whacked-out, bald freaks hit me with a fucking broom. I thought they were going to break my arm.
-I'm sorry, I...
-The were burning their fingertips with lye. The stink was unbelievable.
-Marla... I need to talk to you. It's going to take a tremendous act of faith on your part for you to hear me out.
-I don't want to hear anything you've got to say.
-Give me a minute, Marla, alright... just sixty seconds.
-Sixty seconds, then I'm out of here.
-Absolutely, you have every right. I need you to do me a favor.
-Because... I'm Tyler Durden.
-You got about thirty seconds.
-I know that I've been... unwell. I know it's been like there's two sides to me.
-Two sides? You're Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Jackass.
-I deserve that. Anyway, I've... I've only just realized
-What?
-I mean, the depth and breadth of our relationship has only recently been illuminated for me. I know this... I know us hasn't been such a great thing for you...
-I'm trying to tell you -- and this is where you have to trust me -- but, I think your life might be in real danger.
-What?
-You have to get out of here. Leave as soon as possible. Go to any rural town, away from any major city...
-You are an insane person.
-Marla...
-There's a part of you I really like, but I can't do this anymore. I just can't. This is killing me...
-I'm sorry, but I...
-Let go of me!
-Leave me alone! I don't ever want to see you again!
-Tyler...
-Why are you doing this?
-I'm not paying this back. I consider it "asshole tax."
-What happened... ?
-My God, you're shot...
-Who did this to you?
-Hello?
-Who's this?
-Tyler?
-Who's this?
-Uh... I'm sorry. We met on the plane. We had the same briefcase. I'm... you know, the clever guy.
-Oh, yeah.
-I just called a second ago. There was no answer. I'm at a payphone.
-I star-sixty-nined you. I never pick up my phone. What's up?
-... and you come home to this.
-How have you been?
-... You know me?
-Is this a test, sir?
-Yes... it's a test.
-You were in here last Thursday night.
-What?
-You were standing right where you are now, asking how good our security is. It's tight as a drum.
-Who do you think I am?
-You're the one who did this to me. You're Mr. Durden, sir. Tyler Durden.
-Throwers don't worry about ticking. Modern bombs don't tick.
-Excuse me? "Throwers?"
-Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, the throwers have to call the police.
-My suitcase was vibrating?
-I had everything in that bag. My C.K. shirts... my D.K.N.Y. shoes...
-Tonight, we're going to open the green door -- the heart chakra...
-I wasn't really dying, I wasn't host to cancer or parasites; I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around.
--- But, in here, in everyone, there's the squint of a five-day headache. Yet they forced themselves to be positive. They never said "parasite;" they said "agent." They always talked about getting better.
-If I did have a tumor, I'd name it Marla. Marla...the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't.
-Tell the other person how you feel.
-One minute. This is the beginning. We're at ground zero. Maybe you should say a few words, to mark the occasion.
-It's getting exciting now.
-We have front row seats for this Theater of Mass Destruction. The Demolitions Committee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns of ten buildings with blasting gelatin. In two minutes, primary charges will blow base charges, and those buildings will be reduced to smoldering rubble. I know this because Tyler knows this.
-Look what we've accomplised. Thirty seconds.
-Two, equal parts gasoline and diet cola. Three, dissolve kitty-litter in gasoline until the mixture is thick.
-This is how I met --
-You know why they have oxygen masks on planes?
-No, supply oxygen?
-What do you do, Tyler?
-What do you want me to do?
-I mean -- for a living.
-You see, when you travel, everything is small, self-contained--
-The spork. I get it. You're very clever.
-Thank you.
-How's that working out for you?
-What?
-Being clever.
-Well, uh... great.
-You buy furniture. You tell yourself: this is the last sofa I'll ever need. No matter what else happens, I've got the sofa issue handled. Then, the right set of dishes. The right dinette.
-I guess so.
-And, now it's gone.
-Could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're asleep and toss it out the window of a moving car.
-There's always that.
-I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's a terrible tragedy.
-...no ...no ...
-But maybe, just maybe, you've been delivered.
-Delivered from Swedish furniture.
-Delivered from armchairs in obscure green stripe patterns.
-Delivered from Martha Stewart.
-Insurance'll cover it.
-Oh, yeah, you gotta start making the list.
-What list?
-The "now I get to go out and buy the exact same stuff all over again" list. That list.
-I don't... think so.
-This time maybe get a widescreen TV. You'll be occupied for weeks.
-Well, I have to file a claim...
-The things you own, they end up owning you.
-Don't I?
-Do what you like.
-God, it's late. I should find a hotel...
-A hotel?
-Yeah.
-So, you called me up, because you just wanted to have a drink before you... go find a hotel?
-I don't follow...
-We're on our third pitcher of beer. Just ask me.
-Huh?
-You called me so you could have a place to stay.
-No, I...
-Why don't you cut the shit and ask if you can stay at my place?
-Would that be a problem?
-Is it a problem for you to ask?
-Can I stay at your place?
-Yes, you can.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome. But, I want you to do me one favor.
-What's that?
-I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
-What?
-They're called "cigarette burns."
-It's called a "changeover." The movie goes on, and nobody in the audience has any idea.
-Why would anyone want this shitty job?
-It affords him other interesting opportunities.
--- Like splicing single frames from adult movies into family films.
-One-forty-eighth of a second. That's how long it's up there.
-No one really knows that they've seen it. But they did.
-A nice, big cock.
-He was the guerrilla terrorist of the food service industry.
-... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
-He farted on meringue; he sneezed on braised endive; and, with creme of mushroom soup, well...
-Go ahead. Say it.
-I don't know about this.
-I don't know, either. I want to find out. I've never been hit, have you?
-No. That's a good thing, isn't it?
-I don't want to die without any scars. How much can you really know about yourself if you've never been in a fight? Come on... you're the only person I've ever asked.
-Why not you? I'm letting you go first. Do it.
-This is crazy.
-Alright, go crazy. Let 'er rip.
-Where do you want it? In the face?
-Shit. Sorry. That didn't count.
-How do you feel?
-Strange.
-But a good strange.
-Is it?
-We've crossed the threshold. You want to call it off?
-Call what off?
-The fight.
-What fight?
-If you could fight anyone... one on one, whoever you wanted, who would you fight?
-Anyone?
-My boss, probably. Who would you fight?
-Oh, yeah. I didn't know my dad. Well, I knew him, till I was six. He went and married another woman, had more kids. Every six years or so he'd do it again -- new city, new family.
-He was setting up franchises. My father never went to college, so it was really important that I go.
-I know that.
-After I graduated, I called him long distance and asked, "Now what?" He said, "Get a job." When I turned twenty-five, I called him and asked, "Now what?" He said, "I don't know. Get married."
-Same here.
-Where's your car?
-What car?
-The previous occupant had been a bit of a shut-in.
-Hum.
-What?
-"I am Joe's Lungs." It's written in first person. "Without me, Joe could not take in oxygen to feed his red blood cells." There's a whole series -- "I am Joe's Prostate."
-What are you reading?
-Soldier of Fortune. Business Week. New Republic.
-A guy came to fight club for the first time, his ass was a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he was carved out of wood.
-If you could fight any celebrity?
-Alive or dead?
-Doesn't matter.
-Hemingway. You?
-Fight club became the reason to cut your hair short and trim your fingernails.
-Any historical figure.
-Okay... Ghandi.
-Good answer.
-You?
-Unbelievable, huh?
-I mean, this girl... uh, you're not into her or anything... ?
-You're sure?
-Yeah, I'm sure.
-You're okay with this?
-She is a wild, twisted bitch. Stay away from that one.
-Oh, and my pace is more librarians.
-Hey... don't knock librarians.
-Marla doesn't need a lover. She needs a case worker.
-She needs an exorcist. This isn't love. This is sport-fucking.
-She'd invaded my support groups, now she's invading my home.
-What?
-If you ever say anything about me or about what happens here in this house, to her or anyone -- I will find out. And you'll never see me again. Promise me.
-Okay.
-Promise you won't.
-Yes, I promise.
-Promise?
-I said I promise!
-You want to finish her off?
-Huh?
-"The liberator who destroyed my property has re-aligned my paradigm of perception."
-You get rid of her.
-What is this place?
-As the fat renders, the tallow floats to the surface. Remember the crap they taught you in Boy Scouts.
-Hard to imagine you in Boy Scouts.
-Tyler's kiss was a bonfire on the back of my hand.
-Look at your hand.
-Stop it. This is your pain -- your burning hand. It's right here. Look at it.
-I... I think I understand. I think I get it...
-This is the greatest moment of your life and you're off somewhere, missing it.
-No, I'm not...
-Shut up. Our fathers were our models for God. And, if our fathers bailed, what does that tell us about God?
-Listen to me. You have to consider the possibility that God doesn't like you, he never wanted you. In all probability, He hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen...
-It isn't... ?
-We don't need him...
-... Marla ... ?
-No thanks, I quit.
-You quit?
-Yeah. Where you headed?
-What... ?
-Six months advance pay. Six months!
-Fucking sweet.
-There's fight club in Delaware City.
-Local 8 just started in Penns Grove. And, Bob said he was at fight club in Newcastle last week.
-Newcastle? Did you start that one?
-What are we doing?
-Homework assignment.
-Tyler...
-I asked you what you studied.
-I feel sick.
-Hey.
-Where did you go, Psycho-Boy?
-Something on your mind?
-Why wasn't I told about "Project Mayhem?"
-What should I have told you?
-Why wasn't I involved from the beginning? You and I started fight club together.
-Is this a needlepoint club? Is it about you and me?
-You know what I mean.
-What do you want? A statement of purpose... ?
-Look...
-Should I E-mail you? Should I put this on your "action item list?"
-I want to know --
-This does not belong to us. We are not the leaders. We are not special.
-What are you doing?!
-We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. We are all part of the same compost heap...
-What the hell ... ?!
-You choose your level of involvement. I won't make decisions for you.
-I'm not asking you to.
-You're asking questions that don't have answers. You know just as much about Project Mayhem as anybody else.
-I don't know! Nothing!
-If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?
-I want to hear the truth.
-Fuck my life. Fuck fight club. Fuck you and fuck Marla. I'm sick of this. How's that?
-Why do you think I blew up your condo?
-What?
-What are you talking about?
-This conversation...
-... is over.
-You're too young. Sorry.
-"Too young?"
-If the applicant is young, we tell him he's too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat.
-"Applicant?"
-If the applicant waits at the door for three days without food, shelter or encouragement, then he can enter and begin training.
-Four in Milwaukee.
-What's this all about, Tyler?
-And, we're definitely filling a void in the rural South.
-Why do people think I'm you?
-You broke your promise. You talked to her about me.
-Why do people think I'm Tyler Durden?
-Why did you do that?
-Answer me, Tyler.
-Why do people think anything?
-People think that you're me, because you and I happen to share the same body.
-What... ?
-Is this really news to you?
-What are you talking about... ?
-The first rule of fight club is -- you don't talk about fight club.
-He's not here! Tyler's not here anymore! He's gone away!
-Oh, yeah. I didn't really know my Dad...
-There! Happy? I asked for one thing from you... one simple promise. Now look what you've done!
-This isn't possible...
-We're going to have to do something about Marla...
-What... what are you saying?
-No! This isn't true. We... we were around other people, together, both of us...
-You never talked to me in front of anyone else.
-Wrong, wrong -- what about the car crash... the two guys in the backseat?
-What about them? They're lunatics.
-You took me to the house.
-The house is rented in your name.
-You have jobs.
-Night jobs -- while you were sleeping.
-What about Marla?
-What about Marla?
-She's... you... you're fucking her.
-You could be standing under 37 stories of steel and concrete with a 150 gallons of nitroglycerin strapped to the support... oh, maybe it couldn't be...
-You... you can't be serious about this.
-What a ridiculous thing to say.
-I can't let you...
-...go through with this? What are you going to do?
-I'm going to...
-...stop me?
-I'm not going...
-...to let this happen!
-Stop finishing...
-What are you doing running through the streets in your underpants? We both use that body.
-Since when is Project Mayhem about murder?
-The buildings were evacuated thirty minutes ago. Everything's proceeding exactly as planned.
-I wouldn't be doing that. Unless you know which wires, in what order...
-If I'm wrong, we're both dead..
-I'm pulling the green wire.
-Yes...
-Don't pull the green wire. Pull anything but the green wire.
-Fuck you.
-I've got everything. The bombs. The army. I've got Marla.
-Bob was a grown man. In any great struggle, there will be casualties. Wouldn't that be implicit in the name? Project "Mayhem."
-Fuck your struggle. I want out.
-You want out?
-I quit.
-Tyler...
-What?
-Ask me nicely.
-Defuse the bomb, please.
-Defuse the bomb?
-One minute.
-I think this is about where we came in.
-This is the beginning. We're at ground zero. Maybe you should say a few words, to mark the occasion.
-Can't you call it off... ?
-It's out of our hands. This is it.
-Please...
-What the fuck -- ?
-Paraffin.
-What?
-Damn it! God-damn it...
-Not exactly according to plan.
-NO...
-How'd you do that?! You're a fucking figment of my imagination... you're psychogenic fugue state...
-Why... why... why... ?
-Why what?
-Why can't I get rid of you? Why can't I just wish you away?
-You need me.
-No, no, I don't. I thank you, I really do. Thank you, but I don't need you anymore.
-Look, I can be selfish, I know that. I'm not blind to my own failings...
-From now on, we'll share Marla. We've been spending too much time apart...
-... no, no, no...
-No more running off without you. From here on out, we do it together.
-Why are you doing this?!
-I'm doing this for us.
-Please understand... I've gotten all I can from this, Tyler.
-If I leave, you will be right back where I found you...
-I swear on my life, I won't...
-What are you doing?
-What have you left for me?
-Why do you want to do that? Why do you want to put that gun in your mouth?
-Why are you going with this, Ikea- boy?
-Do something for me.
-What?
-Appreciate something.
-What?
-Look at me...
-What?
-Who is this?
-Maintenance.
-Listen, something is going to happen, something terrible...
-Very good, Sir.
-Excuse me?
-Don't worry about us, sir. We're solid.
-Now wait, there's been a mix-up. Everything's changed...
-You told me you'd say that.
-Abort the plan.
-You told me you'd say that, too.
-Did I tell you I'd call you a fascist dickhead?!
-It's what he would have wanted, sir.
-What he wanted? Look... look at him. Look at him! What does he want? This is a person. This is not a cog in your machine...
-But, this is Project Mayhem.
-No, no. This is a man -- this man has a name...
-But, in Project Mayhem, we have no names.
-No! Wrong! This man's name is Robert Paulson.
-Robert Paulson?
-His name is Robert Paulson!
-Who told you motherfuckers you could use my place?
-We have a deal worked out with Irvine.
-He don't own this place, I do. How much money's he getting for this?
-There is no money.
-Really?
-It's free to all.
-Ain't that something?
-Yes, it is.
-Look, stupid fuck, I want everyone outta here now!
-You're welcome to join our club.
-Did you hear what I just said?!
-What are you doing?!
-Pleeeeeease!
-Okay! Okay, fuck it! Use the basement! Get off me!
-We need some towels, Lou. We need replacement light bulbs.
-Alright, Christ! Fucking let me go!
-Thank you. Thank you, sir...
-Raymond K. Hessel. 1320 SE Benning, apartment A. A small, cramped basement apartment.
-How'd you know?
-Is this a picture of Mom and Dad?
-Yesssss...
-Your mom and dad will have to call kindly doctor so-and-so to dig up your dental records, because there won't be much left of your face.
-S-S-Stuff.
-Biology, mostly.
-Why?
-I... I don't know...
-Animals.
-Yeah ... animals and s-s-s ---
-Stuff. That means you have to get more schooling.
-Would you rather be dead?
-Kimberly Burroughs, eh? What do you want?
-I thought...I thought you might be able to help me.
-Yeah, how?
-I had a premonition about the Route 18 pile up... I saved some people. And now I think Death is after me.
-It's not just about me. Someone I saved died last night in a freak accident. What if the others are in danger, too?
-Well, if you put them on the list, they're already tits up.
-What list?
-The survivors of Flight 180 died in the exact order they were originally meant to die in the plane crash. That was Death's original design.
-Officer Burke pulled me away from the crash that killed my friends.
-Congratufuckinglations. That makes you last to go. But don't worry, once the others are dead, it'll come back for you. Always does.
-That's good. Get all your tears out now, you'll need your eyes. For the signs.
-Signs?
-If you have the same power as Alex, you'll be seeing signs soon. When you see anything creepy or ominous, an in-your-face irony kinda thing? Don't ignore it. It usually means the difference between life and death.
-The songs on the radio. But wait. I don't understand. Why is this even happening to me?
-I didn't beat it; I hid from it. If you were smart you'd put a down payment on a burial plot and say goodbye to the dog, because what little life you have left is over as you know it. Don't make new friends, don't fall in love, and don't ever bother trying to save others. That's the worst killer of them all.
-The second one just dies. A 16 year old kid.
-You have to tell us now.
-I was driving a white van. It must've gone out of control because it crashed into a lake and I drowned. It was...horrible.
-You were there?
-I can practically taste the water in my throat. And something else. The smell of flowers...
-Please, what else could it mean?
-So if you give us the pregnant lady's number, we can warn her about the lake and she'll live long enough to have the baby.
-What about that?
-What are you doing? You're going to kill us!
-No. If anyone dies from a crash now, it'll be me. But I can't die if Eugene and Isabella are still alive. I'm last on Death's list.
-Are you crazy? What makes you think you'd survive?
-What happened when Eugene tried to kill himself out of turn?
-Six duds in a row.
-This makes no sense. Isabella was supposed to crash her van into a lake. Could we have altered her destiny when we had her arrested?
-What did you see? What am I looking for?
-Another premonition?
-What do you want me to do?
-Speed up.
-What did you see?
-No! It can't be.
-A mortician. He seemed to know a hell of a lot more about death than he ever told us.
-Should we knock?
-Remember the onramp? There was a pregnant woman in a white delivery van.
-Make sure all these people will be at the meeting tonight.
-Here we go. The vehicle's a delivery van registered to Jorge and Isabella Cruz. And Christ, there's almost a dozen domestic disturbance complaints on these two.
-Then the only way to survive is to get to the hospital and protect Eugene and Isabella for as long as we can.
-A guard grabbed me before I could find Eugene.
-Don't sweat it. It's over.
-Jury duty? That's randomly selected by social security numbers.
-Random, sure.
-Um, Clear? I'm sorry...about before. I...
-I'm not sure I understand.
-So if you never got off the plane, none of us would be alive in the first place.
-The only reason he was on Route 18 was because he own the lottery and had to collect the winnings.
-That lucky bastard.
-I had tickets to go, but one day I'm in Paris, trippin' on acid, sippin' lattes an' such, and this dude gets whacked by a falling sign.
-Carter.
-Freaked me out so bad I hid in a shopping cart for four hours. 'Course, missed the show...
-Dano, shouldn't we go back and help your mother?
-Calm down, Kimmy. It's not drugs, just weed.
-A Trans Am. That shit went out with New Kids on the Block.
-Yeah. Who does he think he is? Knight Rider?
-Dano, shouldn't we stop and help your mother?
-Dano, shouldn't we stop and help your mother?
-Tell me you didn't start up on that Flight 180 shit again. Did you?
-Look, you weren't there. It was weird. She knew that log truck was gonna cause an accident, she knew. Never mind.
-You've made your point.
-Good. Cause we just got some new info and I don't need you getting freaky on me.
-What?
-What do you mean "grand theft auto?" This is insane.
-Hopefully the district judge can straighten it all out by Monday morning.
-Damn, they always stick me with the clunker.
-Please. It's not going to wait.
-I've got to stop and help those people.
-What?
-Are you Jorge Cruz?
-Maybe. What's this about?
-May we come in?
-We had a fight. Some things got broken, the dog went crazy, she left me. Wouldn't say where she was going.
-What was the fight about?
-Take a guess.
-Does she have a cell phone? A way we can contact her?
-First I'm stuck with Jury Duty, now this nonsense.
-This can't be happening. My career's at a peak, I finally met a cute guy, I just bought a new house...
-Last July I dialed a wrong number and got a radio station by accident. They asked me what number means "good luck" in Jewish.
-Eighteen. And it's "Hebrew".
-Here's what I don't get. For nine months, Death does all this shit to make sure I win these tickets and end up on Route 18 at exactly the right time for the pile up...
-Yeah?
-I got that beat. So like, last May, I was supposed to stay at this cheesy bed and breakfast in Pennsylvania. There was a major gas leak no one knew about and all the guests suffocated during the night.
-Yeah, so what happened?
-What's going on here?
-THAT's the truck that's going to kill everyone!
-Alright miss, calm down. I just need this lane open. I need you to pull your vehicle onto the shoulder!
-Tell me again how it started.
-Like I said, it was like I was there. I remember everything. The sounds of the crashes, the smells, the look on Shaina's face...
-Do you remember what triggered it all?
-Billboards about accidents. Kids yelling "pile up" for no reason. It all felt...just wrong. Just like...
-You mean Alex Browning.
-I tried calling last night but your father --
-I know. I've gotten calls all morning from everyone who was on the onramp. We're all meeting at my apartment tonight.
-I didn't. Until I was dispatched to clean up one of the Flight 180 survivors.
-Pigeons... It's a sign! If Clear's right about the order, then Nora and Tim are going to be attacked by Pigeons!
-I'm not following you --
-Turn around. The cleaning woman said they're at the dentist's. 14th and Main.
-Nora's not coming. She refuses to leave her son.
-We have to tell her she's in danger!
-This is cheery.
-New life defeats death? Follow the signs? Where the hell did you find that guy?
-It throws the entire Death list out of whack. And a new list has to be rewritten from scratch. We all start over with a clean slate.
-Shit, I don't have her number. She was never interviewed. She took off right after the accident.
-How are we going to find her? There must be thousands of white vans in this state.
-Whoa, nine months?
-Guys, let's not panic. Isabella's safe.
-How do you know?
-Stop it, don't move him!
-Um, Kimberly? This is a neighborhood. You may wanna slow it down.
-Don't worry. Nothing can happen to us.
-Kalarjian?
-Shouldn't we pull over?
-Are you okay? You just face planted!
-But it's over. Isabella's baby was the key. You saw her die and everything, right?
-I don't...what if I made a mistake?
-I'm not sure... I don't think Isabella was ever destined to die in the pile- up.
-You can't cheat destiny. I know what I have to do to save us. I have to die.
-Welcome back. We did it. For real.
-For God's sake, leave him alone, Dad.
-Want me to drive?
-This trip better be worth it. What's the guy-girl ratio again?
-Get ready to smile, five guys per girl.
-What's the chance of finding a nice mature guy once we get to Daytona?
-What is it? What are you?
-What is it? What are you?
-Relax, you need to chill the fuck out.
-Highway to Hell, Highway to Hell.
-More than that. All the songs on the radio were about car crashes. Some kid's banging toy cars together. She was dialing her cell phone with her headset on. His car was leaking oil all over the road.
-The best way to get to Yankee Stadium is Route 18.
-Can I ask you a question?
-Sure.
-When I die. Is it gonna hurt?
-And you're gonna die after me, right?
-I guess so.
-Thanks, Dad. I'll call you.
-You have everything, Kimberly? Credit card, cell phone, AAA card?
-Relax, Dad. It's Daytona, not Mongolia.
-I know this is the first time we've been apart since. But everything's gonna be okay.
-Your mother would have been so proud of the way you've handled yourself through all of this...
-Kimberly? It's Dad.
-Your car's leaking either transmission or brake fluid. I want you to have it checked ASAP at a gas station.
-You got it, Dad. I'll call you if I have a problem.
-I mean it. Take care of it.
-I know it's crazy, but I'm really scared for the others. I've got this terrible feeling.
-What feeling?
-I'm sorry. I'm just so happy that you're safe.
-There were so many times I didn't think I could last another day. I can't even tell you some of the things I thought about.
-I used to have those feelings, too. But that's when I'd think of Mom. Her strength...and courage. And I'd pray that maybe I'd grow up to be as brave as she was. And the bad thoughts would go away.
-Damn, it really hurts, Mom.
-What on Earth are they doing?
-You're all certifiable, you know that? I can't believe I've been listening to this crap. Come on, Tim, let's go outside.
-Mom?
-Yeah?
-You think the tooth fairy's gonna come tonight? I'm thinkin' like fifteen bucks.
-How would I know? You think I'm some sort of...
-It's only the end of June.
-You went there? I've wanted to go there, but I thought it was off limits.
-Not a likeness. It's how you make me feel, Alex.
-I'm... really sorry.
-That's why I was there last night.
-I've never dealt with death before. I wasn't alive when my grandparents died. I wish I could know. I mean, all this... could just be in our heads. Now it feels like it's everywhere.
-"It?"
-Is that something you're "feeling?"
-I don't know. I wish I could just see him... one more time, then, maybe... I would know.
-This place?!
-That... him?
-I think. But why'd they make him up like... Michael Jackson?
-Ahhh! fuck! You fucking asshole. You think this is funny, you fucking dick? Tod, if you're not dead I'm gonna fucking kill you!
-He said Death has a design. Even before he said that I had been seeing patterns.
-How many died on Flight 180? From our group?
-Thirty-nine.
-No.
-Remember the departure time?
-4:25.
-Right. April 25th.
-I'm not just layin' down a bunch of math here, with this. I'm talking about indications... omens... that day, that we were meant to die. That, if, we have been aware of... would have saved everyone on the plane.
-I don't understand... did you see Tod die? Did it happen again, like on the plane?
-No, but it might as well be the same thing. This was a message... from someone, or something... hinting... at the design.
-Most kids do, I guess.
-Those guys are probably fifteen minutes away.
-No.. I mean, I don't have anything on me. This won't be safe.
-I can't go home. After Lewton's, they'll be after me.
-Billy told the F.B.I. he saw you runnin' away from her house.
-Stop the car!
-Can't you open the door?!
-Carter, get out!
-Get out! Get out of the car! Get out of the fuckin' car!
-Police are coming.
-You know what to do.
-No! No! Don't!
-I'll remove him.
-You're payin' for my trip, Browning!
-Hope you don't think, Browning, that because my name ain't on this wall... that I owe you anything.
-I don't.
-We're losing our favorite teacher.
-Alright, Browning, you fuckin' warlock... did you know about Ms. Lewton, or what?
-Is knowing going to make it easier? It makes it harder.
-You get off havin' control over me. Let me choose how to deal with it.
-What's your fuckin' worry? If it's not your time...? I could get nailed runnin' this red light and you all wouldn't get shit! Only me, right?
-You should have been next. After Lewton, you should've been next. That's the only pattern. You should be dead.
-You're the fuckin' devil.
-My intervention in the death of 180 survivors will cheat the design.
-"Intervention?" What are you, God now?!
-Man, that is one George Michael notch from being gay.
-Fag.
-C'mon, man, like you really thought you were gonna tittie fuck 'em over Greenland, or something?
-And then the cabin banged and the left side exploded. The the whole plane... blew up. It was so real. Exactly how everything goes.
-Me, too. But my dad doesn't understand. When he's better; you and me, road trip to the City. Catch the Yanks.
-I got this... feeling... a weird feeling... I can't explain it...
-Did you take any sedatives before boarding, or on the plane. Sleeping pills?
-I believe that... Ms. Lewton's next.
-"Next?"
-Yes... see, there's this... pattern... that's occuring.
-Alex... can you promise me that no one else will die?
-I'm... a friend of his. His best friend. See, his father...
-Cuticle lacerations.
-His father's pretty fucked up with denial. Maybe he couldn't deal with the thought of an other accident... taking another son.
-... there are no accidents. No coincidencess. No mishaps. And no... escapes.
-You may not realize it, but we're all just a mouse that a cat has by its tail. Every single move we make, from the mundane to the monumental... the red light we stop at, or run; the people we have sex with, or won't with us; the airplane we ride, or walk out of... is all a part of Death's sadistic design leading
-I'm sorry we broke in.
-And don't pass on the right.
-Billy! I'm gettin' a vision! You're the next one...
-Hey, man, why'd you say that?!
-Please tell me I'm gonna get to see the Jets win the Super Bowl.
-Shoulda' felt up Tammy in the pool, that time...
-It broke!
-What are you doing?
-So, why'd you want us to meet you here? Now?
-He didn't say nothin'. Just drive.
-Knock it off!
-May as well go out under my own free will, right?
-Get control of yourself!
-That's what I'm doin'!
-I know what you're doing! It's alright to be scared, Carter. You don't have to prove to us how big your balls are. Not now.
-SHUT UP, BILLY!
-You guys are real... aren't you?
-Huh?
-Sorry, I mean... I talk to people all the time... I know a lot of them aren't there. But this is real, isn't it? You're taking me home now?
-I gotta tell you, it's just luck you guys came when you did. They move us around a lot... We only been at that camp a week. Got a smoke?
-No.
-You mean the snake?
-Yeah. It's not hard once you get the hang of it. In the wrist. Anyway, I did what I always do when I get one...
-What's that?
-Wow!
-Your buddy made it out last night. The place went apeshit.
-Really? How come he didn't take me?
-Maybe because you're shot in the leg.
-Hell. This is just like fucking Star Wars, man!
-... and there's this guy with a black helmet and cape, right, and he's got this sword... except it's not a sword, it's light...
-This clown almost blew mission security on the street. I'm not jumping with him.
-Ever do this from a jet?
-Again.
-Insertion. Call in to base camp by TRANSAT. Proceed to point Tango November for rendezvous with our ground contact. Indigenous agent. Co Phuong Bao. We've been over this three times.
-Co Phuong Bao. The guide takes us twelve klicks upriver to target at Ban... at Ban... Bo Peep. Shit!
-... to target at Ban Kia Na. We probe the site...
-Ninety.
-... then proceed downriver to extraction at point Echo Delta. Doyle takes us out by helicopter, we all live happily ever after and that's the last time, Rambo! I swear to Christ.
-Gettin' old, huh?
-No radio source. Nothing for the bad guys to triangulate on.
-Show me how it operates.
-That's what I'm here for.
-Show me in case you get zapped as soon as we land.
-Yeah. Why not?
-You read me, Brewer?
-Read you.
-You okay?
-What do you call that?
-Modified M-16 A2 and over-under M-79 grenade launcher, with Sionics sound suppressor, Tracor starlight scope and LAC/R-100 Laser sighting system.
-Batteries not included.
-What's this?
-Cocktail party. Uh huh, right. Let's saddle up.
-That's it? Some C-4, a map and a knife?
-And a beat-to-shit AK? Every twelve-year-old in Nam's got one of those.
-You wanna know why I stood up for this show?
-No.
-I was in the brig. They gave me a deal. I blew up this Colonel's golf cart with an M-19. He wasn't in it or anything... it was the symbolic value. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
-That's a real good reason to wind up in 'Nam.
-I've seen worse places.
-This place is a trip.
-Buddhist monastery. Fifteenth century.
-You fucking crazy? I need it to burn these things off.
-No cigarettes.
-What's this stuff on the rice?
-Why would they send us to a deserted camp?
-We'll check it out.
-How come we didn't just drop near the camp... save this hassle?
-Brewer. Does a jet make noise?
-What's she saying?
-She likes you. Says you're dinky- dau.
-What's that?
-Powerful warrior.
-These guys look like they'd sell their mothers.
-Sometimes they do. They're river pirates. Opium runners.
-How you doing, Brewer?
-Snoring. Five, six guys. Mumbling... Vietnamese. Somebody talking in his sleep. A toilet flushing.
-It's a guy in a cage.
-American?
-Can't tell. Pretty tall. He's real scrunched up in that thing.
-Roundeye.
-Alright. Home run.
-Torture cage. Can't stand... can't sit... for days. Sometimes weeks.
-That guy's not going to make it.
-I'm getting him out.
-What? Are you crazy? We're supposed to take pictures and split. You're gonna blow the whole program.
-You never been in one of those things.
-It's orders! You remember... when they tell you to do something and then you do it. John Wayne is dead, man.
-You better take off.
-Are they going to torture us?
-Yes.
-Gawd, you look awful.
-You comin'?
-Can you handle the door gun?
-Brewer! You know what that thing's packing?
-It's a Soviet MIL MI-24. Probably has 12.7mm nose cannon, heat-seeking rockets and wire guided missiles, plus...
-You're gonna love it.
-I'm Rambo. This is Brewer. Her name is Co.
-You really got a Masters Degree?
-How do we get upriver?
-I have arranged transportation. We meet soon. But I think you to be disappointed.
-Why's that?
-Where did you find this clown?
-I thought he was with you.
-How did you get started working for the spooks?
-Spooks?
-Intelligence work.
-Nguyen. He twelve now. Not see him for eight years.
-Where's Nguyen now? What city?
-Huntington Beach, California.
-It's nice there. He's probably digging every minute. Got a surfboard. Breaking girls' hearts.
-Are you okay?
-Yes. But I lose many merits in next life. Very bad.
-Why'd they want us?
-Thanks.
-Rambo. NVA coming. Pig dog Kinh say meet them here. Whole garrison from Con Cuong is out.
-Christ. How'd you get here?
-And how'd you sneak up like that?
-Carefully. Don't want to get shot by you. Bad karma. Anyway, you need me.
-I do?
-You think you are... .
-Invulnerable.
-You try get across Laos? Get to Thailand?
-Yeah. Got some business there. What are you gonna do?
-Go United States. See Nguyen. Maybe teach economics. Buy Cadillac. Watch "Dynasty."
-How you going to get there? You can't trust the spooks to pull you out. They'll use you up and throw you away.
-I know. I go with you.
-Yes you can.
-Look, Co...
-What was that?
-John. My name is John.
-Alternate LZ Zulu Sierra at 0500. It says "May have heat. Don't be late. All our love."
-Stay on your heading, Captain.
-Sorry, Sir. Can't do it.
-That's an order.
-You pathetic scum.
-I don't work with spooks. Not after that op in Cambodia.
-I'm authorized to get you out of here. I thought that's what you wanted.
-What's the job?
-Classic special forces op... hit fast... in and out. Two men. Two days.
-Why me?
-We like you. At least the computer at Langley likes you. Pulled your file because of various factors. Service record. Area familiarity.
-Where?
-Not yet.
-Memo E-7 on top will cover the details. An abandoned Vietnamese Army base in the North-central highlands may have a compound used as an internment camp. As you can see the intelligence is soft. These LANDSAT photos show huts... barracks. It could be anything.
-What's the plan?
-This operation is in two phases. Recon and rescue. You are phase one. Your two-man team will probe the site, confirm the presence of American POWs, if any, make photographic and tactical observations, then proceed to the extraction point without engaging the enemy.
-We don't try to pull out any of our guys if we find them?
-Negative. Absolutely not. The phase two assault team will get them out.
-We just take pictures?
-I didn't know you were a stick man, Rambo.
-All this is for us?
-He's giving them a run for their money. Says here they've got two Hueys from Danang. I didn't know those dinks had Hueys.
-Half their air force is our stuff. Captured.
-Typical...
-Sir, there's something else... a TRANSAT relay. Just came through.
-Um... actually, no. It looks like he shot down one of their gunships...
-Christ almighty.
-... and then he, uh... took the other one.
-What?
-How long have you been setting up?
-About 22 hours on site.
-How long before you're fully on line?
-You think they'll find any?
-POWs? I don't know. But either way it'll get that subcommittee off our necks. Cream?
-Black. No sugar.
-What's up?
-Listen, Kirkhill. I'm a bit of a fifth wheel in your setup here... I thought I'd go out with the extraction team tonight. Unless you have an objection.
-It's not necessary.
-I know.
-I know...
-Take your time.
-Look, Colonel... we're all adults here. This is a war. A very quiet, very intense war. People get sacrificed.
-But you're right... some people do get sacrificed. Now tell me why you pulled the plug.
-You think I'm some whacko? I like to hurt people? I'm doing a job here. If I knew what's right or wrong I'd be a goddamned priest, right? So I follow directives... I do what I'm told. It's simple. If your boy had done what he was told, there wouldn't be a problem.
-Look, it was a screw-up, alright? They weren't supposed to find anything. We thought that camp was empty.
-This mission was a scam from the word go?
-Rambo and Brewer were selected as write-offs.
-It was clean. Very clean... Rambo was a decorated Vietnam vet, a former POW himself... if he came out and said "No POWs" the sub-committee would buy it. He gets himself caught he's a private citizen, a whacko, acting on his own. If he gets proof, it gets lost somewhere between here and D.C. Airtight. But no... Rambo's gotta be a hero. Thinks he's
-"Terminate with extreme prejudice."
-So there never was a Phase Two rescue team?
-You're out of your depth, Trautman. Way out. I'm acting correctly here. Not you. Not your gung-ho jungle ace. It's over. Walk away.
-It's not over. You made one mistake.
-Who're you?
-American. Come to get you out.
-Man, you are one scary-looking motherfucker!
-Can you walk?
-What's your name?
-Hello, John.
-Colonel.
-I hear you're not enjoying it here.
-Seems like I'm always pulling you out of some goddamn toilet or other, doesn't it?
-Am I out of here?
-That depends on you. Christ, look at you. I give you this easy duty until I can get you an assignment... all you have to do is eat ice cream and watch soap operas... and you have to make it Rambo's last stand.
-There were treating me like a headcase.
-This your stuff?
-Hardcore outfit. The best I ever trained.
-Those men are all dead.
-Congressional Medal of Honor.
-Yeah. Big time.
-Plus, what else? Two Silver Stars, four Bronze Stars, two Soldier's Medals, four Vietnamese Crosses of Gallantry and... uh, a handful of Purple Hearts.
-Five. I never wanted that stuff.
-What did you want?
-I just wanted... I don't know... after all that... I just wanted one person, one person, to come up to me and say "you did good, John." And mean it. That's all. After all that.
-We left some people behind there, John... POWs.
-Listen up. You two are married as of now. Get used to it.
-Let's do it.
-Keep it clean, Rambo, or I'll nail your hide to the shed.
-This will last you one year after which you have the option to renew if... you like at a membership discount.
-But now it's free, right?
-You know, I think I... ordered some just the other day.
-Well did you or didn't you?
-Yes! They'll be in soon.
-I like your nails. Where did you get them done?
-I've never been in an apartment above a store. You always pass them on the street but you never think anyone really lives in them.
-Can I get you anything...coffee... tea...a little tequilla?
-Will it hurt?
-...So he says to me, "you'll never find another man like me"...I said, "please, men like you have one hand on their dicks and the other hand on their mother's leg... I said, there's the door - take a trip.
-My parents were divorced.
-...SO...anybody special in your life?
-Well, don't say it like that. It's not so...ya know, crazy an idea. You are a healthy woman... You hold a steady job. Ya not crossed eyed or anything...
-Well, there's nobody special!
-Fine.
-I mean, it's not easy in this day and age.
-What?
-Meeting ... people.
-Tell me about it. I've been dating longer than I've been driving. I can't believe that.
-I never really...went through a... dating period.
-...My mother calls every week. Like a recurring nightmare. "So, have you met anyone?"..."No mom".. "So what's going to happen?"... "I don't know Mom"... I only thank God I moved out.
-I can't believe you lived with her for that long. If I had to live with my mother, I'd stab myself six times.
-I think some people are meant to be alone. Maybe I was a man in a former life and I used women for pleasure so now I'm paying for it - which would be fine, if I could just remember some of the pleasure parts...
-I don't understand you. What is the problem?
-I don't feel like I make any impression on people... At office parties I spend my time re-arranging the hors d'oeuvres as people eat them, so the platters will always look full. I don't start conversations because I have no idea how to end them...I think I'm just meant to live in the background of things.
-That's not true...You gotta ease up... Conversations have a life of their own. You gotta just go with it...We're having a lovely conversation.
-You know, let me tell you something! I'm not that kind of person. I don't do people favors. If I talk to you it's because I want to. So we're not all ...uh...Jerri Hall...Big deal... What a boring world if we were. You do the best you can with what you got. You're not so so invisible, ya know... You want make an impression?
-Really?
-Oh, no..I have to get home...
-No really..I can't.
-Getting your nails done is one thing but going to dinner with a bunch of strangers and <u>him</u>... She didn't even look at him.
-I mean, I've gone out with bums, but they were gorgeous. It's the only reason to go out with a bum.
-This food's delicious. You're a wonderful cook. And you have a lovely home.
-<u>You're surprised</u>!... But I guess I just never met the right guy. Whatta gonna do?
-I'm shocked. With a child bearing body like yours... ... why a man would have to be out of his mind!
-Most men are.
-Holdin' my penis... What a lovely way of sayin' how Much ya like me...
-Yep! Right on it!
-Are you in a mood today baby? Is this one of those days when you're in ...whadda call it... an emotional abyss? Talk to me, cause I don't understand these moods.
-Anne, they're MY moods. If you want to understand moods, have one of your own!
-Well, it's funny! Whatta want from me?
-It's not funny. It's... sophomoric and mindless... and dumb.
-Then why the hell do we watch all the time?
-It happens to be a beautiful love story. Ya know, you used to like that about me. You used to say you liked that I didn't make you think so much. That we could be together and not think...
-I'm sorry.
-I can't tell you how distraught I was. All night long. What the hell happened?
-I was attacked.
-<u>What</u>!
-Two kids tried to set me on fire.
-You were attacked. My God. Should I call a doctor! Did you call the police...
-No, I'm fine... really...
-... So... where did you sleep last night?
-I... I stayed at a friend's. Listen, I --
-I'm not seeing anyone else. I really was attacked.
-Oh, I used to be such a Catholic.
-You still believe in God?
-... You have a little... uh... something on your face...
-I tell you something, Anne. I really feel like I'm cursed.
-Oh stop. Things will change. My Aunt Mary always said, there's a remedy for everything in this world except death and having no class.
-I get this feeling like I'm... a magnet but I attract shit. Out of all the people in this city, why did I meet a man who's wife I killed?
-You didn't kill anybody. Stop.
-Can I have my desk please.
-Hello, I'd like to speak to Lydia?
-Lydia?! Lydia who!?
-I don't know her last name... I'll be off in a second.
-You're calling <u>Lydia</u> in <u>my</u> office. You must think I'm some dope. You fuckin' bastard... You... ... stay out all night long...
-What... No... Lydia... I want to speak to... her name is Lydia... I...uh...
-... I don't get a friggin' phone call. You stroll in here at noon. I got... two people out sick. Ya think I need this? I Do Not Need This!
-I was not with a woman last night. I was out with Parry.
-The moron?
-He's not a moron.
-And who's Lydia?
-Lydia is the girl Parry likes... And I thought, if I could get them together I...
-What? The curse'll be lifted? <u>Will</u> <u>you please</u>!
-I... You're not going to understand this.
-Don't treat me like I'm stupid. It pisses me off.
-All right... Sorry... I feel indebted to him.
-What does that mean?
-See, I told you!
-Well, what the hell does that mean?
-Hello....congratulations.
-I don't know... He's a little disgusting... Although some women go for that.
-Well talk back. He won't bite you.
-What are you two up to?
-What do you think?
-You know, I can't believe I did it. You think it'll work out?
-Who's knows. My Aunt Marge used to say, "some matches are made in heaven, some are made in hell and some are made in hardware stores".
-Nothing it's just...I begining to understand you.
-Well...I think you should feel very proud. You did a real nice thing for somebody else. I'm very proud.
-So what's going on? Who's Lou again?
-My agent. I called my agent.
-You're kidding! What did he say?
-He says if I want to get back to work, no problem. He wants me to come in and talk and... and... <u>that's</u> <u>it</u>!
-I've got to put these tapes in some kind of order... and... Oh, I should get my sports jacket cleaned... ... There's coffee if you want...
-It's so great to see you like this, honey... I can't tell you.
-Thanks.
-Ugh, these tapes are a mess. I don't know where to begin...
-... What?... You don't want to commute?
-What?
-"I'm an incredible woman?" What is this, a death sentence?
-No, I... I think we should talk about this.
-You want to talk? Come on, Jack... Did I cross the line by mentioning the future or what?
-... Listen, so much has happened and I think it would be a good thing for both of us if we slowed things down a little.
-Slowed things down? Where have I been? Have we been going fast!?
-... I'd like to focus on my career - - now than I can, now that everything's all right... Parry's taken care of... and... Like I said, I feel like I know a lot more now and I don't...
-First of all, let me tell you something -- you don't know shit. Second of all, as far as <u>we</u> go, what time do you need? What have we been doing here, except <u>time</u>? Have I ever... ever pressured you!?
-No.
-You can't even give me that?! What were you gonna do, Jack?... Just gonna organize your life... ... walk out that door, move in by yourself and what -- drop the news when you find somebody else? What were you planning to do, Jack?
-I didn't know. I just said all I want is some time.
-Bullshit! If you're going to hurt me, you hurt me now -- not some long... drawn out hurt that takes weeks of my life because you don't have the balls!
-What have you been doing here! <u>Huh</u>! <u>I wanna know</u>! <u>What have you been</u> <u>doing here</u>?!
-<u>Listen</u>! We both got something out of it, all right!
-Oh yeah? What did I get? What did I get I couldn't've gotten from somebody with no name any night of the week? You think your company is such a treat? Your moods, your... "pain", your problems... You think you're entertaining?
-Well! What do you want me to do - applaud?
-How have you been?
-I think.. I...I realized...I love you.
-Parry?
-He can't hear you. Hi...I'm Dr. Weintraub.... I was on duty when they brought him in...I've been going over his record... He was brought in once before I understand... ..."catatonic stupor"...condition rendered him non-verbal for a period of -...
-Yeah so? The guy's beat up - he...he probably has a concussion or something, right? He'll snap out of it?
-I'm afraid not ... Then again, I'm not sure. The beating's bad but it's not the problem... It seems he's.. re-experiencing the catatonia... So, like before, he could snap out it in an hour or in thirteen months or thirteen years... ....I don't know. There's no way to tell.
-But..How could that happen?
-Well, it's not unusual in his case... Sometimes victims of tragedies are subject to the brain's replay system. The brain never loses anything - it just stores it up and waits. A person could actually re-experience the full effect of a tragedy, long after the event took place. Are you relatives? Well, it doesn't matter. We'll take care of it. He'll have to be
-What if I was a relative?
-So, Edwin, baby, this is Sunrise Confession time... what have you got for us?
-Yeah, I know the place. It's one of those chic <u>yuppie</u> gathering holes.
-Yeah, but does she swallow, Edwin?
-I think she likes me... she gave me her number, but she must work a lot cause when I call she's never home... But I think we'll go out this weekend... I've...
-No, Jack, no, it's not... She likes me.
-She gave you the old brusheroo, kiddo... Believe me -- this tart will never make it to your desert plate...
-Where you comin' from?!
-Uh... basement I think...
-You a friend of Parry's?
-No... He is supposed to live there?
-Yeah, well... I let him stay there. What else could I do after such a tragedy?
-Tragedy?
-Can I help you?
-I'm... just looking for Parry...
-I wanna go...Just let me go...
-Uh...Where...where do you want to go?
-A real nice place I know... Ah...can't get there! Not tonight.
-Where? Maybe we can.
-No...no...we can't...we can't..
-Come on...maybe we can...where do you want to go?
-Can you tell me something? Did you lose your mind all of a sudden or was it a slow gradual process?
-Um...I've got to run. I've bee doing this all day. Are you going to be all right?
-Remember. One chorus and out.
-It's O.K...It's O.K...Lets me help you up.
-NO...I WANNA GO! I WANNA GO NOW!
-Come on now...You can't sit here.
-Isn't that awful? Poor Brenda Frazier. Poor Little Gloria. They ruined them! THEY ATE THEM ALIVE!
-It was a crime.
-You shouldn't hang around this neighborhood.
-I... I was just leaving.
-People spend a lot of hard earned money for this neighborhood. It's not fair... looking out their windows to see your ass asleep on the streets...
-Yes... I... I agree...
-.....Me neither.
-Can I ask that when you clean your hands you wipe the ink off the inside of the sink before it stains the stainless steel.
-About dinner as a concept or about dinner with... <u>Raoul</u>?
-You're so witty. I'm so jealous... I <u>need</u> to get out of here, Jack, and do something other than sit in this apartment and count how many funny lines you have per page.
-You know, tomorrow's a very big day for me... It would be nice if you acted like you understood.
-Fine. I'll say no.
-They're putting me on film tomorrow.
-Fine.
-... First time in my life I'll be a voice with a body. Do you know what that means? What this could lead to?
-Jack, it's a sitcom -- you're not defining Pi.
-I'll remember that the next time you get excited by drawing pubic hairs on raisin bran. Want some?
-No, I have to work.
-How un-sixties of you.
-I was nine in the sixties.
-Hello Lydia?
-Yes.
-Yes well... You are a credit card holder, are you not?
-Huh-huh.
-Well, congratulations Lydia, because out of several thousand card holders... in conjunction with several major credit card companies...
-Which ones?
-Your name was picked.
-Well, I don't understand. What did you do -- did you pick my name out of a hat or... or... a list?
-A list.
-Well -- were there a lot of people in the room or just you or what?
-Well there.... What's the difference?
-Well, I mean... I don't know you... This has never... I've never won anything and... I don't have a VCR.
-You get a VCR with the membership. ... For a short time until you get your own. Listen, why don't you come down to the store and you can check it out. See if you're interested.
-Did Phyllis in accounting tell you to call me?
-Hello. My name is Lydia Sinclair.
-So how do we do this?
-Now what?
-Uh... you... you can pick out up to ten movies...
-Free?
-You know, Anne does other people too. Sort of a sideline...
-How much?
-Okay... twenty dollars... When can you...
-Could you help me-- what was the name of that girl who just came in...
-What girl? I didn't notice.
-Oh, Lydia!
-Lydia. Lydia what?
-God, I have no idea. She's worked here for fifteen years and I have no idea. I'll call her.
-Please don't hurt me?
-I need a drink.
-This is it. I'm in hell. Damned to an eternity of idiotic conversation.
-Have I died?
-Hahahahaaa... Nononono... Not yet... Hahahaha...
-Where am I?
-My abode... My domicile... My neck of the woods... Hungry? Breakfast? A fruit pie perhaps?
-No... thanks... Listen --
-My name is Parry.
-Hi... Where are my shoes?
-They're -- -- What?
-Where -- ?
-<u>What</u>!?
-<u>What</u>?!
-Do you know what the Little People just told me?
-The Little People?
-They said you're The One.
-I'm the one what?
-... I've got a right to say something. I mean, you're tying my hands here! They say you're not ready to know.
-... Do you know who I am?
-Uhh... I'm drawing a blank.
-Uh... gee... well... you seem to be some kind of vigilante...
-No, no... I mean that sort of happens along the way but no... I'm on a very special quest.
-A quest?
-But I need help and <u>they</u> sent you.
-The Little...
-They work for Him.
-Him...?
-The Holy Grail? Some billionaire has the Holy Grail sitting in a commode on Madison Avenue?
-I know! You can't imagine how surprised I was. Who would think you could find anything divine on the Upper East Side.
-I think you're a very nice... very nice psychotic man. I really appreciate what you did for me. It was a very brave and noble thing...
-Oh, please... you're embarrassing me.
-I wish you all the luck in the world. When you get the Grail, I'm sure I'll be seeing lots of you on various talk shows...
-See, you don't know him... That's why you're the one... You can get it...
-Listen, forget the shoes. I'll just take a cab... Uh...
-Parry.
-Parry... I'm Jack.
-Thanks... You can keep the doll.
-I'm not married.
-"Soveriegn princess of his captive heart what dire affliction has thou made me suffer, thus banished from thy presence with reproach, and fettered by thy rigorous command, not to appear again before thy beautiful face. Deign princess, to remember this thy faithful slave, who now endures such misery for love of thee"....
-Do you follow her every day?
-Huh-huh. I'm deeply smitten.
-What's her name?
-Why did you do that?
-Here...I just would like to help you. I thought...maybe...you could use some money.
-Here's another twenty. Will that do? I mean, what's it going to take!
-That's O.K.
-Can I take you to lunch?
-Well, I think you should be realistic. Ya can't start an ad agency on fifty dollars!
-But I gave it to you!
-Well what am I gonna do with it?
-I don't know. But I gave it to you...to help YOU...not him.
-Pretty impressive huh?...Don't let it scare you. I'll admit it's formidable but everything has it's weakness.
-You can't just break into Langdon Carmichael's house. This man has done nothing.
-O.K...let me explain this one more time...The Holly Grail is in -....
-All right! Listen - please...don't start drooling or...rolling your eyes when I tell you this but - You shouldn't do this..There is no Holy Grail.
-Of course there is, Jack. What do you think the Crusades were - a frat initiation? I don't think so...There has to be a Grail.
-Look, you're only sort of insane, really. People like you can lead semi-normal lives. You could get a job...
-I don't need a job. I have a quest.
-I take it back - you're fucking deranged... And you're going to get yourself killed trying to get in there!
-Tch. You are so sweet...Now I know why you're saying this. ...You're afraid I'm in danger and you're trying to protect me.
-...You are such a great guy. First the money, now this. Isn't he fabulous!?
-Please don't hug me in public again, O.K.?
-Will you shut-up!!!
-You're a true <u>friend</u>.
-I'm not. Believe me. <u>I'm</u> scum.
-You're a real honest to goodness <u>good</u> guy.
-I'm self-centered, I'm weak - I don't have the will power of a <u>fly</u> on shit...
-That's why the Little People sent you. Just <u>like</u> magic.
-I don't believe in little floating people! THERE IS NO MAGIC!
-So what? You going to help me?
-He knows who you are! He's afraid! I can tell!
-Isn't it great up here... He's gone now, but we had him on the run! We would've had his ass if we had horses! He's running scared!
-SAW WHO!!?
-The Red Knight!
-Parry...
-Listen, he just needs to sleep it off. Someone will take care of him.
-Who?
-It's such a great song.
-Don't you think it's time to go now? Running around here during the day is one thing but at night we could be killed by a wide variety of people.
-Well that's stupid. This is my park just as much as it is theirs. You think it's fair they keep us out just because they make us think we'll get killed or something?
-.....What are you doing?
-You can't do this! This is New York! Nobody lies in naked in a field in New York..It's...it's too Midwestern.
-Come on, try it. Ya feel the air on your body - ya little fella's flappin' in the breeze. ...everybody in the city is busy with their business and no one knows we're bare assed in the middle of it. Come on!
-..Ha...Little fella? I mean the man talks to invisible people - he sees invisible horses - and he's naked in the middle of Central Park. I should be surprised? I'm not surprised. I'm fucking outta my mind to even be here!
-Who are you talking to Jack?
-YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!!
-Are there any questions?
-What?
-I can't ask for her...I have to earn her.
-Parry, you don't have to <u>earn</u> a woman. It's the twentieth century.
-Maybe, when we get the Grail...
-Well, see, I think she can help...You know women are great..they...they make homes and they..ya know, kill the livestock so the knights can go out and get Grails and...and slaughter villages with a clear head...I mean, where would Arthur be without Guinevere...
-Happily married, probably.
-Bad example. Just trust me. A woman who loves you keeps you going...gives you strength... Makes you feel like you can do anything...
-Is that what your girlfriend does for you?
-Holdin' my penis...
-Will you stand still so I can do this!
-I'm sorry....I'm just so excited. You must have felt this way when you first met Anne, huh? Where did you two meet?
-In a bar called Hellfire.
-Tch...how romantic. Yeah. If I wasn't already committed to Lydia, boy. Except Anne'd never go for me though. She loves you too much. And you really love her, huh?
-No. But that's not the only reason people get together or..stay together.
-...I feel so much for her...I feel like something awful is going to happen.
-No. Nothing bad's going to happen. Anne'll be there. I'll be there. Nothing bad will happen.
-Parry, it's Lydia Sinclair - our membership winner.
-Beautiful night huh?
-Unhand that degenerate - you adolescent ass of a one balled donkey!
-It's just a bum...You know, there's enough in here for the two of you.
-You a fag too?
-<u>Fag..a</u> <u>fag</u> <u>you</u> <u>say!?</u>... <u>"Curst</u> <u>wolf!</u> <u>Thy</u> <u>fury</u> <u>inward</u> <u>on</u> <u>thyself</u> <u>Pray</u> <u>and</u> <u>consume</u> <u>thee!"</u>
-OWWW....What are you nuts?!
-I advise you to let us go.
-You advise us!
-Come on! Go for it! What the hell are they gonna do? They can't do nothin!
-Are you all right?
-You can't leave me tied up out here alone, you fucking faggot!
-Parry Parry?
-No just Parry.
-How about the "Hell Merchants"?
-I don't like horror movies!
-How about... Zbiegnew Speizak's "The Purple Bread," an intensely portrayed tale of love and envy set against the sweeping background of a Polish bakery. In subtitles.
-I don't like... uh... Polish love stories... ... I like musicals.
-Well, we have plenty of those. Right over here. We got the MGM series, Astaire and Rogers, the Judy Garlands...
-... Uh... we seem to be all out of Ethel Merman.
-What a gyp.
-...I..uh..I get to read some of the books but mostly I..just calculate production costs from first edition hard cover publication to paperback. After paperback it's basically someone else's problem.
-It sounds exciting.
-We mostly publish trashy romance novels.
-How do you know him?
-What do you do - for a living I mean?
-Tell me more. I want to know everything.
-There isn't any more to tell.
-Don't say that.
-No, really..believe me - there isn't any more. This is it.
-Well, it's enough for me.
-You don't have to say that.
-I never say anything I have to.
-I mean you don't have to say nice things to me... That kind of thing is a little old fashioned for what we're about to do.
-What are we about to do?
-Well... you're walking me home. I... I guess you're sort of... attracted to me and you'll want to come upstairs for... coffee...
-I don't drink coffee...
-... and then we'll probably have a drink and talk and get comfortable with each other and... and we'll... then you'll sleep over and then in the morning... ... you'll be distant and you won't be... able to stay for breakfast... you'll just have some coffee maybe...
-I don't drink coffee...
-Excuse me...
-Listen, I'm not feeling well.
-Well, no wonder. We just met, made love and broke up all in the space of thirty seconds and I can't even remember the first kiss which is the best part.
-Listen, you're very nice... b...
-So are you, but I think maybe you should shut up now... ... I'm not coming up to your apartment. That was never my idea.
-Oh... You mean you don't want to.
-Oh no, I want to. I've got a hard-on for you the size of Canada... but I don't... want just one night. I have a confession to make?
-You're married.
-No.
-Divorced.
-No, I...
-You have a disease.
-... It's not just from tonight. I've known you for a long time. I see you come out of work every day. I walk with you to lunch. I know what you order... I see you buy Baby Ruths before going back in... I know how you feel on certain days by whether or not you go into the bookstore... ... I know you
-See, I told you it was him... Your name's Donnie something, right?
-I leave it to you.
-My name is Shirley, but they call me Betty, and her name's Twinky.
-Twinky?
-Yeah, 'cause she's so "twinky"...
-Well, Betty and Twinky, it sure is nice talking to you girls. I just wish I had more time...
-That's a wig you wear, isn't it?
-A wig?
-Yeah, I told her it was you, but that you're wearing a wig, 'cause on TV you're mostly bald in the front.
-We gotta get on home an' relieve the sitter. Why'nt you an' Ray come on over.
-Give 'em the horn, Bob.
-Well, id'n that nice.
-If you're sayin' you're somethin' better'n what I am, that's one thing. But I can't say much a someone who'd run off an' leave a woman in a situation like this an' feel easy about it. An' that's all I gotta say.
-Tell me what in the hell's going on, Elton!
-You're not going to play it again.
-Well, lemme play the other side then.
-Now quit, Bobby. You said you're goin' a help me pick a song.
-You said.
-How 'bout if I just cut off your damn water?
-Sugar, you know how I feel about you, don't you? I'm just tryin' to get you to take an interest in my kind a things, an' what I'm tryin' to do with myself... You know, there id'n anything in the world I wouldn't do for you, baby. I started livin' the day I found you, you know that?
-Cerveza.
-Serveza yourself!
-Now, now.
-Why'nt you take 'at sign off your tit, Ray, an' let's go on out.
-I'll go out with you, or I'll stay here, and do anything you'd like for me to do... if you'll just do one thing. If you'll tell me that you love me.
-You can sing the song.
-You know what, you are never satisfied.
-I'm tryin', baby, so don't start gettin' mad now.
-Is it my turn again?
-I can't help it, honey, the ball just keeps goin' cocky wobbly on me...
-Will you just do what the hell I tell you...
-I did, didn' I, El?
-That was damn good, wad'n it? I finally did it...
-Come on. We're goin' over to Elton's.
-I'm not.
-You just going to sit there?
-Yes.
-Okay. Hope no one hits on you.
-Come on, DiPesto. We can still have a good time.
-You're the pathetic one, not me.
-I'm going on over there...
-I'm not some piece a crap.
-I know you're not.
-You treat me like I was.
-I'm sorry.
-You go slippin' around in front a my face, an' in front a Elton an' Stoney. What do you imagine they think a someone you treat that way...
-Elton and Stoney know how I feel about you. An' they're just goin' to think I'm not too nice a guy, which I'm not, an' that you're a hell of a person puttin' up with me, that's all.
-You're goin' a find me dead one time.
-Sssh, come on now... Be a good girl.
-If you really want a get up an' leave me, you can read about it in the newsprint.
-I'm not going to get up an' leave you. Now let's go over to El's an' have a good time.
-I'll be gone two or three weeks.
-You like it?
-I love it.
-"Every trail that you blaze/Makes me..."
-What?
-Just one minute, you! Don't you ever talk to me like that!
-Are you depressed about your daddy, honey?
-No.
-I 'magine it's me then, id'n it?
-Is what you?
-You're depressed that I come along.
-Who said I was depressed?
-'Cause if it was me, I could just catch a Greyhound back.
-Why can't I go out to your folks' house? Give me one good reason.
-So how long am I supposed to sit an' twiddle my thumbs in this place?
-If you can't do what I ask, Ray, use that money to go back home, then.
-Okay, Ray...
-Or maybe sit out by the pool an' get myself nice an' tan for you. Would you like that?
-Sure...
-It brings out my eyes...
-Bye, honey, I'll call you in a couple of days.
-This certainly is an improvement on the motel an' the coffee shop. How could you have left such a beautiful place, Bobby?
-Rayette.
-What?
-Just finish eating.
-It's all right. He don't mean anything by that.
-Bobby...
-Come on.
-Wait a sec. I want Tita to take a picture of you an' me in front of the place...
-I'm gonna go in that cafe an' get some coffee. You want anything?
-No.
-Sure you don't want anything?
-Look at my car! Piece of shit! I just bought it brand new from a used-car lot, and the steering goes to the pot on me!
-You're lucky no one was hurt.
-What's your name?
-How far are you going to?
-Washington.
-We'll get off in Washington and hook another ride.
-Where are you going?
-Alaska.
-You don't have to tell everybody about it. Pretty soon they'll all go there and it won't be so clean.
-How do you know it's clean?
-I saw a picture of it. Alaska is very clean. It appeared to look very white to me... Don't you think?
-I had to leave this place. I got depressed, seeing all the crap. And the thing is, they're making more crap, you know? They've got so many stores and stuff and junk full of crap, I can't believe it.
-Who?
-Well...
-Hey, mack!
-Fantastic! That you could figure all that out, and lay that down on her, to come up with a way you could get your toast.
-I didn't get it, did I?
-Can I get you anything else?
-No. How much do I owe you?
-No substitutions.
-What does that mean? You don't have any tomatoes?
-No. We have tomatoes.
-But I can't have any. Is that what you mean?
-Only what's on the menu... A Number Two: Plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.
-I know what it comes with, but that's not what I want.
-Wait, I've made up my mind. I want a plain omelette, forget the tomatoes, don't put potatoes on the plate, and give me a side of wheat toast and a cup of coffee.
-I'm sorry, we don't have side orders of toast. I can give you an English muffin or a coffee roll.
-What do you mean, you don't have side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?
-I don't make the rules.
-One Number Two, and a chicken sal san -- hold the butter, the mayo, the lettuce -- and a cup of coffee... Anything else?
-Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, charge me for the sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
-You want me to hold the chicken.
-Wasn't it, ladies?
-We been wantin' to ask you something. Are you the guy on YV?
-Am I on TV?
-She says you're the one that sells all the cars on TV.
-I'm gonna give you our number, Donnie, just in case... We're both professionals, if you didn't guess.
-Well, you seem very professional...
-Tea.
-Oh my goodness... Bobby...
-Robert Eroica...
-Now don't...
-No, I'm not... I'm not.
-I just can't look at you.
-You always do this to me.
-Well, I don't mean to. Here's your tea, Tita.
-Sorry.
-This is a very special, very old CB 275...
-Oh.
-You know who it once belonged to?
-No.
-Waldnit von Schnechter. Prewar.
-Robert...
-Very nice.
-I have to talk seriously with you...
-Everybody still up on the Island?
-Well, Herbert's mostly on the mainland because of the orchestra, so at the moment, there's just Daddy, Carl and myself... and Van Oost.
-Who's Van Oost?
-Catherine -- she's a pianist. She's working with Carl.
-Carl's a fiddler. What's he doing coaching piano?
-It's not funny. He permanently sprained his neck, and since then it's been extremely difficult for him to tuck the violin.
-Crashes into a Jeep and totals his neck. That's Carl...
-Robert, I have to tell you something...
-What?
-Daddy's very ill.
-Oh, well, what, what's he...
-He's not... They feel he... maybe he might not recover, and that he'll either...
-Yeah... I guess so...
-I'm going back up tonight. Will you go with me?
-I'd rather drive up myself and... maybe go into Canada after... And I can't stay long, Tita, probably a week, at the most.
-Well... I better let you...
-Maybe you better stay, then.
-No, I need to talk to you, about so many things...
-Oh God, I'm so glad, Robert, that you're coming...
-Yeah, me, too...
-It'll be so good for you, and for Daddy, because you know, you've never really...
-Tita, I've got to go...
-Well, I really appreciate it, Carl.
-How long have you been staying here?
-He has ways of communicating, Robert. I can tell when he's expressing approval or disapproval, just from his eyes...
-Uhm hmm. Some range.
-It's not that bad.
-Yes, it is. I can't take seeing him, sitting there like a stone.
-I mean, you think I'm that happy?
-No, I don't. You should've left a long time ago.
-What questions?
-Well, do you -- I mean, have you enjoyed all these... strange things you've been doing?
-Why? Am I some kind of freak to you or something?
-No, no, I don't think that, I'm just curious about it... Do you think I'm a freak?
-Oh no... Why? What is it? The way I look?
-No, I don't really think you're a freak.
-I probably am, but I don't care. I mean, I wasn't that blessed to begin with, and when would I have had time to make any improvements...
-What about Carl and Catherine? Is he just coaching her, or what?
-Constantly. Night and day. And unless I get up before the birds, I can't get in any practice time for myself...
-Uhm hmm.
-Actually, it's very admirable, the way she works. She'll probably be enormously successful, because she's attractive as well, not that that's so important in music, but...
-You're attractive, Tita. If you just did a little more with yourself...
-Like what?
-Well, if you just maybe did something with your hair, or...
-Oh, let's not talk about my hair, it does what it wants to, and anyway, who cares, I want to talk about you...
-Well, you're not going to run out on me right away, are you?
-Do you want some gingerbread?
-What?
-With applesauce?
-Look at that.
-Why are you being so mean?
-I don't think I'd notice. I'm so used to Carl.
-I think he's got a terrific personality.
-Look, can't you see that, what I'm talking about?
-Where is she, anyway?
-It's none of your business!
-Where's Catherine?!
-I'm talking to you, Tita!
-You're leaving?
-Yeah. I said a week, and I've overstayed myself...
-You were going without saying goodbye?
-I didn't want to say goodbye to anyone.
-But what about me?
-Bye, now.
-What have you been doing since then?
-What have I been doing? Different things, different jobs, here and there. Nothing that interesting.
-Hello...
-I guess you fell in the water.
-Yes, intentionally.
-That's dangerous, you know.
-Swimming?
-I love to swim, and I don't mind the cold at all. It's invigorating.
-Well, I wouldn't want to get too invigorated myself.
-Why?
-Besides piano and swimming, what else do you do?
-Well, there's fishing and boating. There's concerts on the mainland and... but I feel silly telling you. This is really your home. You probably know better than I what there is to do.
-Nothing.
-Nothing? Then it must be very boring for you here.
-That's right. Have you anything to suggest?
-Right now I'm going to run a hot tub and soak myself.
-After that, I plan to read some music and rest for awhile.
-Tomorrow, then.
-Carl has hydrotherapy on Tuesdays.
-The day after tomorrow.
-If you're free.
-One thing that's hard to understand is how you could have this incredible background in music, and then just walk away from it, without a second thought...
-I mean, how could you not play anymore? That's so strange to me...
-I have played a few times. Here and there. As a matter of fact, I was once a rehearsal pianist for a Las Vegas musical revue.
-You don't call that music, though.
-That was beautiful, Robert. I'm surprised...
-Thank you.
-Is that funny?
-It wasn't supposed to be, it just struck me that way.
-Why?
-Nothing. It's just that... I picked the easiest piece I could remember. I think I first played it when I was 8 years old and I played it better then.
-It doesn't matter. It was the feeling I was affected by.
-I didn't have any.
-You had no inner feeling?
-None.
-Wait...
-Well, at least you're accomplished at something...
-What?
-Catherine...
-You think I'm a fake.
-I think it's what you think.
-No, it isn't what I think.
-Yes, it was. You've made it clear that if I can cut a little piano, I might get a little response.
-I don't think that's accurate...
-Up to now, what I've been getting from you are meaningful looks over the dinner table and a lot of vague suggestions about the day after tomorrow...
-It's convenient to fake looking for something right now, isn't it?
-I'm not faking anything. I'm looking for some bath oil...
-I don't find your language that charming.
-It's direct, anyway, which seems to be difficult for you.
-Serious, that's what's important to you?
-No, don't do that...
-No inner feeling.
-That's right.
-I married him when I was 17. He was a cellist, and I thought he was the most brilliant man I'd ever met... And I'm sure he was, because at that age, I hadn't met that many... But he was insidious, you know. He had me convinced that I was a mediocrity, musically, as a woman, as an intellect. But in this completely imperceptible,
-That's what you said?
-As a matter of fact, he's the one who introduced me to Carl... How are you?
-I'm fine.
-Carl restored my confidence. He really did. He's much more substantial than you give him credit for.
-Is he?
-Do you think you could discreetly move across the hall now?
-Robert?
-What?
-I could spend some time with you tomorrow morning, before Carl comes back, I mean, if you'd like to.
-Where are you going?
-I'm going to pick up some friends of Carl's. Are you all right?
-I have to talk to you.
-No, I want to talk to you now. I have to explain something about...
-No, you don't have to, it isn't necessary...
-No, I can't...
-Will you let me talk to you, please?
-I can't do that. I haven't been being fair to Carl. I have to tell you that.
-Oh. You have to tell me that.
-I'm sorry everything's been so confusing, but I have to go, Robert...
-Catherine...
-No. It's useless, Robert. It wouldn't work, not ever...
-Just give me a chance, will you?
-And living out here, in this rest home asylum, that's what you want?
-Yes.
-That'll make you happy.
-Four or five years.
-Did you hear about my misfortune, Robert?
-What?
-She's tremendously gifted, this girl.
-I hope you feel at home, Robert. I'm really glad you're here.
-Robert, do you mind?
-What?
-You sure you should be playing, Carl?
-I'm not aware of it. Like what?
-I've walked across a stage a number of times, without exciting any particular response...
-See? There's nothing wrong with the way I walk. Now where are we?
-That's three games to none, Carl.
-All right, let's have a rematch.
-Oh, for chrissakes...
-Robert, I think you better just...
-Come on, get moving, dammit!!
-Haven't you got a jacket or anything with you?
-No, I don't, I uh... it got burned up. Everything in the car got the shit burned out of it. All I got left is what I have on...
-I've got an extra jacket behind the seat, if you want to put it on.
-No, it's okay.
-Suit yourself. But I'll tell you, where we're headed is gonna get colder'n hell.
-You've been staying in a motel all this time?
-For two whole weeks, an' there wasn't hardly nobody there to talk to but me. The manager of the place told me it was the off season, an' it must a ben, because other'n me, there was just this 25-year-old kid, DeLyon, that didn't appear to be all there, an' this old married pair next to me that was always hollerin' for quiet. Can
-I don't understand why you had to stay in a motel. There's more than enough room here.
-Well, I was goin' to, but Bobby said he hadda kind of feel things up here first, which I can understand, but then it went an' took so long, I ran flat outa money... I didn't have no number to call, you know. So I hadda clear outa there an' come on up here, in the hopes that I wouldn't be intrudin' myself...
-Oh, no. You're more than welcome.
-Well, thank you, that's a very nice thing for you to say.
-No, you're not. Go ahead and take your time.
-What kind of doggy is that?
-It's a Borzoi.
-Oh no, it's been much more than that.
-Away from the piano, Tita, you have no sense of time at all.
-I don't think that's true.
-It is true.
-You know, just after I came back off tour with the Betenthaller Quartet, Dad, myself and Herbert had a summit conference about you...
-Oh, my, "a summit conference." I wonder where I was, polishing silver behind the coal bin.
-I don't know where you were, penis envy.
-I hope I didn't hear that.
-What's wrong, Carl, you hardly ate anything...
-And what about love?
-What about it? Wouldn't you agree that a great deal of mischief has been done in the name of love?
-No, I wouldn't.
-... which should exclude you from any objective discussion. But keep in mind, even the arts aren't free of aggressive content, nor the institution of marriage.
-But I'd like to say, so that I don't dampen the spirit of your adventure...
-You haven't dampened my spirit, Samia... Excuse me.
-Come on, Terry, we got a ride!
-There'd never be a hole big enough. Now took at me, for instance, when I was just one person, before Bobby, I had so much garbage collectin' onto me every day, I was thinkin' about gettin a dispose all...
-Well...
-Hey, follow that truck. They know the best places to stop.
-That's an old maid's tale.
-Salesmen and cops are the ones. If you'd ever waitressed, honey, you'd know.
-Don't call me "honey," mack.
-Don't call me "mack," honey.
-I wouldn't be a waitress. They're nasty and full of crap.
-You better hold onto your tongue!
-Mass production is what does it.
-What do you mean "mass"... I have to come out and tell you, you're not that clean, either.
-Wait a minute. I'm not that neat, maybe, but I am clean.
-Well, you're not that bad, but some people... I mean, people's homes, just filth. I've been in people's homes...
-In my personal observation, I think that more people are neat than are clean...
-In my personal thing, I don't see that. I'm seeing more filth. A lot of filth. What they need to do every day, no, once in a while, is a cockroach thing, where they spray the homes. And uh... can you imagine, if their doors were painted a pretty color, and they had a pot outside, with...
-Yeah, it could be adorable...
-And you know, I read where they invented this car that runs on... that runs on... when you boil water...
-Steam.
-John believes in the basic goodness of man, and that's fine, but gaze into the pit like I have and that view seems a little soporific. And not unlike television, it hardly represents the real world...
-There's some good things on it, though.
-Pardon me?
-The TV. There's some good things on it, sometimes.
-The choice of words, "squashed flat," juxtaposed against the image of a fluffy kitten...
-Well, she was.
-Miss Dupea.
-I'd like to remind you again, this isn't an opera or a musical comedy.
-Oh... I'm sorry. Was I singing again?
-If you want to call it that.
-Well, you have to simply tell me, that's all.
-That's exactly what I am doing, again.
-Do you have to let me get halfway through the movement first? This is tiring me.
-I have a suggestion. Why don't we take a break.
-Don't fuck wit' me! Don't fuck wit' me. My lawyer's so good he'll have you workin in Alaska, so dress warn.
-Aaron, how you doin'?
-Fine.
-Look at me.
-What?
-Why you have an attitude for?
-Not now, I'm busy
-God, I just wanna speak to you. I just wanna speak to you the way I feel about you.
-Please don't scream at me. I like you, but I don't like the way your attitude is.
-I wanna go out with you, I want to be part of your life. I want you to treat me the way a girlfriend should be treated.
-Then don't go out with me.
-For once in your life have some respect for me, don't even curse at me or nothin'.
-Now she's tellin' me what the fuck to do.
-God, you drive me crazy. I just want you to know how I feel and you don't understand.
-Alright, tell me, what'd you hear?
-There's a rumor that you were tryin' to get somebody to beat me up.
-What chu listening to rumors for? I'm not like dat.
-I told you, no. I'm not that type.
-Then I want you to go to whoever's sayin' that and tell them to stop.
-Who are you?
-Do you have a name?
-Victor.
-What?
-Wussup?
-Yo.
-Hi.
-Remember me, from the pool?
-So watcha doin'?
-Nothin'.
-What are you doin' here?
-I, umm, came to see you.
-You know somebody around here?
-No. What you do today?
-Oh you know, cleaned the house, cooked. Took care of my little sisters. Sit down. So where's Carlos?
-Whadja wanna see me about?
-So you got a girl?
-Of course.
-So what's her name?
-You know. I got a lot, more than one.
-A play-ya.
-You got a boyfriend?
-So wadda you do with your girls?
-Just chill.
-That's it?
-So what you think of me?
-You look good.
-I look good, that's it. So what else do you do for these girls?
-I buy them flowers.
-How you treat them?
-See, I got you, you are so scared. I don't believe that you kissed no girls. That you got three girls and that you faithful and this and that.
-I did.
-Well, you know I'm standin' here and you say I look good?
-I kissed those girls.
-No you didn't, you ain't provin'it.
-I aint gotta prove nothin' to no girl, 'cause I got it like dat.
-Come down!
-Who gives!
-Wussup?
-Wussup, Victor.
-Eddie from Compost?
-Why don't you ask Eddie?
-Why?
-I got punished, man.
-Fa what?
-I won't let my motha cut my hair.
-Wha'?
-She fucks it all up!
-Forget it! C'mon Let's go to the pool.
-They are?
-Yeah! Tell me which one you would like. To be doin' nothin on a fire escape or beat the pool with a bunch of girls? Be straight up!
-So what girls are over there?
-Natasha, Maria, Tina-
-What are you going that way for?
-I'm not goin' to 10th Street, people piss and shit in that pool,
-Where you goin'?
-Pitt.
-Oh man, what we gotta leave ar' own neighborhood for?
-C'mon.
-Amanda is Eddie's cousin.
-Eddie from Compost?
-I gotta go take a piss.
-Yo, remember from the pool, that girl?
-Which one?
-The one with the phat ass?
-I'm gonna punch you. What you want with her anyway? You in love with her?
-She lives near Eddie?
-I think she lives down by Pitt.
-Near Natasha's? Or over by Boy's Club?
-I think by Twenty-two.
-For real?
-Yo! What you goin' for
-How does he look up close?
-Umm, he got dark brownish eyes, he got a nice nose I love his nose. I love his skin. I love his lips, he got a great smile and he got-
-A bad attitude.
-Yeah, he got a bad attitude.
-Yeah, he got boxes in his stomach. He's taller than me.
-How old is he?
-I think he's 18 or 17.
-You gonna talk to him?
-Like this?
-Now salsa, you know how to dance salsa?
-Yeah.
-You looking for somebody?
-Wha'?
-You here to see somebody?
-Yeah.
-Who?
-A girl named Amanda.
-What she look like?
-She's like this high, dark hair, skinny
-Yo, that's my girl.
-She didn't say she had no man.
-You sure? She's got kind of like brown hair.
-Positive.
-You sure?
-Positive.
-My friend told me she lived around here.
-Your friend must be misinformed.
-So what do you want with her anyway?
-I'm a good friend of hers.
-How do I know you're not lying.
-Yo, I know what you're thinking, that I'm one of those guys that keep coming up to her.
-Probably. One of the many.
-What?
-No.
-You wanna do somethin' with me?
-Not really.
-Hey!
-Where you know Amanda from?
-Jus' from around the way.
-You live around here?
-Yeah.
-I know how ta get him back if you want.
-First of all, let me just reiterate that this is not a formal investigation. I'm not going through formal channels here, because if Alan Stanwyk is not involved in any improprieties, then nobody has to know I was even --
-Look. You know that and I know that, but somebody's bucking for a promotion. I think it's that bozo, Hanrahan, I can't be sure. Anyway, unless I go back there with something, you and your son-in-law are next week's scapegoats.
-Unbelievable.
-I feel like dirt. They even want to know what he's doing in Utah?
-Utah? Jesus Christ! First of all, Alan Stanwyk does not own one share of stock.The three million dollars for the ranch in Provo comes from my daughter who converted some of her personal holdings, not company holdings. Now if anybody in DC wants to make something of that, bring 'em on. Until then, get the hell out of my face.
-God I admire you.
-By the way: what kind of name is Poon?
-Yes sir, you are confirmed on Flight 306 to Rio tomorrow evening at 11 PM. First Class.
-You're kidding.
-Would you like me to change anything?
-So he's going. Uh... are there any other tickets charged to the same account?
-We'd have no way of knowing that, sir.
-Never heard of him. Thanks anyway.
-You mean her.
-What?
-Sally Ann Cavanaugh. Oh wait, she couldn't work in your office, she's not from around here.
-Maybe tonight?
-Whaddyamean 'maybe'?
-That's what he said.
-He doesn't know? How come he doesn't know?
-I don't know how he doesn't know. He doesn't know.
-Sonofabitch.
-Wonder who his supplier is.
-I have no idea.
-I wasn't asking.
-He never leaves the beach, Fat Sam. Never leaves. Sits in that chair, he's outta junk. Then he suddenly gets up, he's got junk. So where does it come from? Through the sand?
-I think that's highly unlikely, Creasy.
-I ought to get some sleep.
-Creasy, how old are you?
-Nineteen.
-Hey, what are you doing?
-Fletch, this is dumb.
-Fletch!
-Hey you're really nuts.
-They didn't do anything.
-What? What are you talking about?
-I busted their window, they didn't do anything.
-You're lucky.
-You decorate this yourself or did Mrs. Chief of Police help you?
-You should have seen what she wanted to do with the place. Mauve. So what's your name?
-Fletch.
-Full name.
-Fletch F. Fletch
-I see. And what do you do for a living, Mr. Fletch?
-Why are you doing this Mr. Fletch?
-Frankly sir, you look a little like my father. Probably explains the curious feeling of love I have for you.
-For a gentleman who was just found holding a bag full of heroin...
-It was planted on me, sir.
-Your editor called me yesterday to respond to allegations you're about to print about police involvement in narcotics dealing. Fletch starts to get up, but Cummings plants his foot on Fletch's chest, forces him back down.
-I'm about to break that beach wide open, and I don't need some pennyante Woodward and Bernstein getting in the way of my men.
-'Your men' might just be involved in all this.
-You go back to that goddamn beach, I swear to God I'll make you regret it.
-You can't keep me here.
-Maybe I'm not going to keep you here. Maybe I'm gonna blow your brains out.
-After I shoot you, I stick the knife in my arm, then place it in your dead hand. Self-defense. We don't do this very much anymore... but we have. Got rid of a lot of minorities that way.
-My God, you're serious.
-Ask anybody.
-Can I call my Mom? I'd like to tell here how much I've always loved her.
-I hate the beach. Wouldn't go there if you paid me. Besides, I'm way overdue on my story about off-track betting in the Himalayas. You don't think it's the mafia, do you?
-Speaking of which, you're not going to print anything before my investigation is through, are you?
-Not a prayer.
-Thanks for coming down to see us.
-Greetings, everyone.
-This one's going to be even more fun.
-What the hell are you doing here?
-I've got it all under control, Jerry. You can go now.
-Fat Sam left the beach today. So did Gummy. It began to occur to me that some things are beginning to happen that maybe I should be aware of.
-I said I'll take care of it. Now, a man of your position shouldn't be a part of what's about to go down. So go home and I'll call you tomorrow.
-Jerry, you're simply going to have to trust me. I've got a foolproof way to get rid of this guy and now you're jeopardizing everything.
-So where do you know Alan from?
-We play tennis at the club.
-Really. The California Racquet Club?
-Yes.
-That's my club too. I haven't seen you there.
-Well, I haven't played in a while because of these kidney pains.
-Right, and how long have you had these pains, Mr. Barber?
-That's Babar.
-Two bs?
-One. B-a-b-a-r.
-That's two.
-But not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant.
-Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
-I don't know. I don't have any.
-No children?
-No books. No elephants either. No really good elephant books.
-Oh, I don't belong formally. I've gone with my aunt.
-Your aunt?
-Mrs. Smith.
-Joan or Margaret Smith.
-Right.
-Well, which one?
-Margaret.
-Funny old bird.
-Is she ever. I've got some stories....
-I'll bet. Shame about Ed.
-It was. Really a shame. To go so suddenly.
-Oh, he was dying for years.
-Sure, but the end was so sudden.
-He was in intensive care for eight weeks.
-Yes, but the very end, when he actually died, that was extremely sudden. You know, Alan and I were recently speaking of dying. Told me Boyd Aviation took out a lot of insurance on him. You must have to be in some kind of perfect health to get that kind of policy.
-Bend over and drop your pants, Mr. Babar.
-Oh really, there's no need to -- we don't want to do that...
-Just relax....
-Did I say 'kidneys'? I meant my ear. Maybe I should see an ear dahhh -- Ever serve time?
-Breathe easy...
-Anyway, I'm surprised Alan got the policy so easily. I know there's a history of cancer in the family.
-There is?
-Whoa, look out there. You really need the whole fist?
-Just relax.
-Gee, Alan's been looking kind of sick lately. Is he all right?
-I can't discuss another patient. You know that. Well, I can't find anything wrong with you.
-I'm sure it's not for a lack of looking. Maybe I should get a real complete physical. You give Alan an annual, don't you?
-Yeah, we check you into Mt. Hebron for a few days, run lots of tests, charge a bundle. You can pull your pants up now.
-I hope they still fit. Do I get to keep the glove?
-Tell the nurse when you've got a few free days. She'll make all the arrangements.
-So what do you figure?
-No idea.
-No idea at all?
-Okay. Some idea.
-Like when?
-Like tonight.
-For sure?
-No, not for sure. When it comes, it comes. You gonna want some shit?
-I think I’d rather have drugs.
-Fletch...
-Jesus.
-You don't know me.
-My pleasure.
-I'm serious, Sam.
-What, the heat here?
-Affirmative.
-The two surfer boys?
-Affirmative.
-Thought so. What for?
-For me. I'm a reporter, Sam. I'm breaking the drug story and I got the chief red-handed. Gummy gave me a deposition.
-You gonna nail the chief?
-I'm gonna nail the chief. And you can help or --
-Oh, I'll help, Fletch. I'm a slave to that sonofabitch. He busted me, third offense, gave me a choice: Work for him or do fifteen long. All I get out of this is free snort.
-You don't have a piece of the action?
-Noooo. Free snort. That's it.
-Wait five minutes, and go to my office. You'll get federal protection after that.
-Gonna need it. That boy is dangerous. Fletch?
-What?
-You find the source?
-Gum thought Brazil.
-It's me doctor Rosenpenis. I just have to take another peek at Alan Stanwyk's file. What have they done with this place?
-Nothing. They're still there.
-Are you all right, Doctor?
-Where am I?
-You're in the Records Room.
-I'm fine.
-Can I get you something?
-Have you got a make-shift plywood pillory? Heh Heh, just kidding.
-Doctor Holmes went to get you some smelling salts. He was quite surprised that you fainted.
-Well, I didn't want to say anything, but I thought the dead man was my brother.
-Oh my God!
-Oh, God, I think I'm about to hyperventilate. Have you got a paper bag, or something.
-Here you are, Doctor.
-Is there anything particular you're looking for?
-My associates did a biopsy on this man recently. He's supposed to have a melanoma, or a carcinoma, some kind of noma. Hmmm. I can't seem to find any record of it.
-Well, if he had one, it would certainly be in here. Wait. Here it is. Yep. Surgical removal of two moles. Tissue was benign.
-That's it?
-That's it.
-This was last month. So Alan Stanwyk does not have cancer.
-I guess not.
-Refusal to pay alimony is a jailable offense, Fletch.
-What about breaking and entering? Are you wearing anything under that?
-I did not break nor enter. I simply chose an advisable location to await my client's delinquent husband.
-You owe Wendy nine hundred and eighteen dollars.
-She doesn't need the money, for crissakes. She's living with Monty. I know it.
-I don't know what you're referring to. Wendy maintains her own residence.
-It stinks. I thought woman were independent now.
-Until she remarries, Fletch.
-Hey, shut up, okay? I just hate this.
-I empathize with your plight, Fletch. However, you threw her out.
-She was sleeping with everybody. The cable TV guy. You can't get lower than that...
-You should have proved that in a court of law.
-My lawyer was a bum.
-I think he was sleeping with Wendy, too.
-You may be right.
-Are you serious?
-That's history, Fletch. You owe us nine hundred and eighteen dollars.
-Damn... lost again. Sorry.
-Cash. I'm impressed.
-Found it in a cab. That's a grand. Apply the difference to next month.
-Good evening.
-I like your outfit. You got the fifty grand and the plane ticket?
-Why don't you check it out for yourself, Mr. Nugent?
-Because I trust you, Alan. By the way, the name's Fletcher. I.M. Fletcher. I write a newspaper column under the name Jane Doe.
-Read this, please.
-Wait a second --
-He is lifting Stanwyk's two attaché cases.
-Pretty hefty. Keep reading.
-He doesn't read my stuff well. 'Sally Ann and Alan were married four years ago and never divorced, making Stanwyk a bigamist even in Utah. Stanwyk is also traveling with three million dollars in cash, the result of Gail Stanwyk's conversion of Boyd Aviation stock. Mrs. Stanwyk believed the money was to be used to purchase property in Utah, but it wasn't; a fact
-I'd have been long gone.
-Bravo, Mr. Fletcher.
-And what was that?
-I was already prepared to commit one murder. What makes you think I won't commit two?
-I'm Harry S. Truman from Casewell Insurance Underwriters.
-Harry S. Truman?
-My parents were great fans of the former President.
-Isn't that nice. Good man. Showed the Japs a thing or two.
-Sure did. Dropped the big one on them.
-Dropped two big ones. Real fighter. You're in the insurance line, Harry?
-Right.
-Well, I'm fully covered.
-I don't doubt it, Mr. Stanwyk. Actually, my company is the sub- insurer of the subsidiary carriers of a policy held by Alan Stanwyk, who I believe is your son.
-Yes. Where you from, Harry?
-California. San Berdoo. Utah's part of my route. Can I ask you a few questions?
-Regulations, Mr. Stanwyk. And you and your wife, named....
-Velma. You and Velma are the parents of Alan Stanwyk, Beverly Hills, California, executive vice president of Boyd Aviation?
-Check.
-Okay. Now, the last time you saw your son was when?
-Ten days ago?
-Isn't that nice. Since when?
-Forgive me now for seeming personal, but we understand that there is a lady friend he sees here in Provo.
-What the hell does this have to do with insurance?
-Trust me, sir. It's a comprehensive policy.
-Has he?
-Boy, what the hell's the matter with you?
-Then he has.
-He sighs.
-And they're still married... Alan and Sally Ann.
-Lets see, it was before he moved to L.A... four years April.
-I'm calling the police. Then I'm leaving. You wait here for them.
-Where are you going?
-I really creamed the sonofabitch, didn't I?
-John Ultramalensky, right?
-Right.
-God, I haven't seen you since the wedding.
-Gee, I must have been shit-faced at your wedding, I don't --
-Not mine, stupid. Yours.
-I couldn't sit home and play the mournful widow anymore, and the police didn't need me, so I tried watching a Lakers game on TV, but the announcer talked to fast and I couldn't understand a lot of what was happening, so I figured if I came down here maybe you could explain the rules to me, and besides, I missed you.
-Hi Sam. Hi Fletch.
-Hi Gummy. How’s the eye?
-It’s okay. The cops did it.
-I know.
-They busted me last week.
-They bust you every week.
-I'm the Sufi.
-Fletch?
-Don't call me Fletch. Don't look at me. Lie back down. We'll talk.
-What?
-Why are they after you?
-Fat Sam is turning state's evidence.
-What's that?
-He wrote me a nice deposition. He says he just received the drugs. You did the selling.
-I didn't sell nothing! I didn't sell nothing! I just carried the drugs from the Chief to Sam.
-Sure you did.
-Fletch, I never sold nothing.
-Where does the Chief get the drugs?
-I dunno. Somewhere in South America, I forget.
-Rio de Janeiro, maybe?
-Maybe, Fletch. Is that Brazil?
-That's Brazil.
-Yeah. Maybe.
-We can't talk about it here.
-Why not?
-Because we can't.
-Are you on a scavenger hunt of some kind?
-I want you to come to my house. Then we'll talk.
-I think you've got the wrong gal, fella.
-I'll give you a thousand dollars cash just to come to my house and listen to the proposition. If you reject the proposition, you keep the thousand, and your mouth shut.
-Will this proposition entail my dressing up as Tina Turner?
-It is nothing of a sexual nature I assure you. One thousand, just to listen. I don't see how you could turn that down Mr...
-Nugent. Ted Nugent.
-Alan Stanwyk.
-Then I found out Hopalong Cassidy had shot himself in the game room. That just blew it for me.
-Who?
-I don't work for you yet, assface. Don't talk to me like that.
-Here's my proposition, Mr. Nugent.
-I'm all ears.
-You don't look sick, Mr. Stanwyk.
-I don't feel sick. Not yet. They tell me it'll start getting bad in about a month. After that... well, I'd rather not be around for it.
-Why don't you try suicide?
-My company has taken out a very large insurance policy on me. And I have a wife. Suicide would nullify my insurance. Murder does not.
-So why pick me?
-You're a drifter, a -- pardon the expression -- beach bum. No one would notice if you disappeared. I've watched you for a couple weeks.
-Maybe I'm just on vacation.
-Not with the scum you hang out with. I've watched. I've thought. Its a perfect scheme. I even have a perfect escape plan for you.
-Did it ever occur to you that I might not want to kill you?
-I'm still here.
-I want it done Thursday evening, around eight PM. My wife will be off to the club for a committee meeting. It's the staff's night off. These will be open.
-Wouldn't they normally be locked?
-Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The staff usually forgets.
-I have the same problem with my help.
-I will be here in the room, waiting for you. The safe will be open and there will be fifty thousand dollars in it. You will be wearing rubber gloves. Do you own rubber gloves?
-I rent them. Monthly lease, with an option to buy.
-A .357.
-Very good. My .357. Use it and no one can trace it to you. The room will be in some disarray.
-So it looks like a burglary attempt. You catch me. I get the gun, and shoot you.
-Precisely. Are you a good shot?
-What's the difference? The noise'll kill you first.
-Get me on the first shot, if you can.
-Do you have a passport?
-Sure, all drifters do.
-Fine. After you kill me, take the Jaguar. The keys will be in the glove compartment.
-LAX. Go to the Pan Am desk. There will be a ticket waiting for you.
-Where am I going?
-Rio. Flight 306. Departs at eleven PM.
-They serve dinner on the flight?
-It'll be a first class-ticket. I'm sure you'll enjoy the ride. I would recommend staying down there at least a year, Mr. Nugent.
-You've certainly thought this out, haven't you?
-I am not someone who leaves a great deal to chance, Mr. Nugent.
-You sure those doors will be open?
-Yes. All you provide are the gloves, the passport, and the aim. I'll take care of everything else.
-The gun, the money, the tickets, and the dying.
-That's right.
-You sure got the hard part.
-Will you kill me?
-Yo!
-Can I steal you for a minute?
-Only if you promise not to return me.
-Deal.
-'Magic' today, huh?
-Kareem's in the wash. I need a favor.
-Shoot.
-Did you hear something?
-Not me.
-W-Y-K no 'c.' I'll be down in a minute.
-'Mr. Stanwyk, of Provo, Utah, is a former commercial pilot.'
-Married Boyd Aviation. He's no dummy, that's serious coin.
-'Stanwyk's parents, Marvin and Velma Stanwyk, also of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding.'
-Not our kind of people, you understand.
-Thanks.
-You doing a story on this guy?
-'...Stanwyk, blahblahblah, with internist Doctor Joseph Dolen.'
-I wonder if that's his doctor.
-Nothing on Gail Stanwyk, nothing on Jim Swarthout. But I did ---
-Did you say cops?
-Yeah.
-My hero.
-I overheard it. He thinks you're completely out of control, he said he was gonna can you as soon as he got the story. If I were you, I'd just chuck it, Fletch. Screw him. Let him eat three full pages on Sunday.
-You kidding? I got an unbelievable story here, Lar. Un-believable. Jesus. It's the cops, I know it. The Chief! And they're all over Frank.
-I just thought... sure. Sally Ann Cavanaugh.
-Cute young thing, too.
-I'm sorry?
-His bride. Cute as a button.
-Of course, his wife's name is Sally Ann Cavanaugh?
-Cute thing.
-Do you happen to have a picture of Alan and his wife?
-She's cute as a button.
-Oh, that's all right, I've got lots more. Want to see the reception?
-No, thank you.
-I haven't seen you since the wedding, Jeez, you look great.
-I do? Oh, isn't that sweet, thank you. I have to confess something to you. I must have been pretty plowed at your wedding. I really don't have the faintest idea who you are.
-Huh? No, not my wedding. Yours.
-Oh, mine! Thank God. Actually, that doesn't make it any better, does it? Are you a friend of Alan's?
-We used to fly together. I'm... John.
-John who?
-John Ultrarelamensky.
-Oh, I'm sorry. It's a beautiful name, really.
-It's Scotch-Rumanian.
-That's a strange combination.
-So were my parents.
-Mind if I keep practicing? I need to work on my ground stroke a little.
-Damn, I thought I had that one.
-You should play with much larger tennis balls. So how's Alan?
-What are you asking me for? He's so busy lately I hardly see him. And he's been so preoccupied.
-Preoccupied with what?
-Why do you keep doing this?
-Stay! I must be having an off day. I'm really a fabulous player.
-I have this effect on lots of women.
-I bet you do.
-Say, the reason I asked about Alan is that I bumped into him this morning and you know what I can't figure out?
-Alan's in Utah.
-I can't figure out why I went to Utah for the morning.
-Okay. I'm delighted to have someone to talk to, and you're very cute, so I'm very flattered, but I'm also very married so you may as well forget -- You are trying to hit on me, aren't you?
-I'm such a heel. How'd you guess?
-If I had a nickel for every one of Alan's flyboy buddies who tried to pick me up, I'd be a rich woman.
-You are a rich woman.
-What's he doing in Utah?
-Who is it?
-It's John. John... Znhcneelsky.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Uh... I'm just out of the shower.
-I'm sorry, I'm just surprised to see you. I didn't think... What do you want?
-I ordered lunch.
-You ordered it here?
-Well, I knew this is where my mouth would be.
-I really should change.
-No, I think you should stay the same wonderful person you are today.
-I mean put clothes on.
-Have you gotten cuter since I last saw you?
-Lunch...
-All this goes on Underhill's bill?
-I saved his life during the war.
-You were in the war?
-'I've been so many places in my life and times. I've sung a lot of songs, I've made some bad rhymes...'
-It's amazing.
-'I've acted out my life on stages, with ten thousand people watching...'
-Your bone structure, shoulders, neck...
-'But we're alone now, and I'm singing this song for you.'
-Just like Alan. It's freaky.
-Can I ask you a question?
-Depends on the question.
-Are you still in love with Alan?
-No. I mean, 'no you can't ask me that.' I mean, ask me something else.
-Why'd you let me in?
-Because I'm bored. Oh, that sounds terrible, doesn't it. I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I also let you in because I'm hungry.
-Thanks, I feel much better. Listen, if you're so bored, why didn't you go to Utah with Alan?
-Utah is not exactly a cure for boredom.
-Good point.
-Oh, listen to me. I've never even been there and look what I say about it. Anyway, I know there'd be nothing for me to do. I don't even know anybody there.
-What about his parents?
-He never sees them and I never met them.
-Thanks for the great time.
-What is this?
-I'll be leaving now, Mrs. Stanwyk.
-I think you should call me Gail, now.
-Gail. I hope this won't embarrass you in any way. I think Underhill's a yutz, you won't have any trouble with him.
-A four hundred dollar lunch tab!
-Yeah.
-I'll cover it. You have any other surprises?
-Who.
-So?
-So, your husband hired me to kill him. That's the truth.
-What are you talking about?
-He told me he was dying of cancer. Not True. That ranch you thought you were paying for in Utah? Not true.
-How do you know about that?
-He's a bad guy, Mrs. Stanwyk. Gail. I think he's involved in something very big and very bad.
-What does all this mean?
-Have you ever heard the name Jim Swarthout?
-Swarthout. Yes. He's the man who sold us the ranch in --
-Wrong. He sold you $3,000 worth of scrub brush.
-But I've seen the deed.
-Here's this dog that tried to eat me. Here's my motel. Here's the car I rented...
-Stop it. Are you saying my husband is defrauding me?
-No. You can't. Look, I know you don't know me from Adam, but you've got to trust me.
-Trust you? I may seem a little goofy at times, but I'm not a complete Bozo, you know.
-No... I've got to go to Mr. Underhill...
-I'll take you to a game.
-What are you talking about?
-I'm talking about how much I'd like to take you to a Laker game.
-Wait a second. What am I supposed to do for twenty-four hours?
-Act natural.
-I was afraid you'd say that.
-What's wrong, Gail?
-I decided I was going to tell my husband about you today.
-No.
-I've never lied to him before. It's the first time he's ever lied to me. He was just as convincing as when he says 'I love you.'
-I think you better sit down.
-Oh God, I hate things that start like that....
-What is this....
-I checked. There was no divorce.
-Are you telling me my husband is a bigamist???
-And they're leaving the country tomorrow night.
-Bastard.
-I don't have all the pieces yet, but I'm close. I'll know tomorrow.
-I'm calling the police. Right now.
-You can't do that.
-Don't tell me I can't --
-I'm terrified.
-Don't worry, I can take it.
-You shouldn't be here.
-I thought you had this all figured out. Good going 'Irwin.'
-Excuse me sir. Are you a guest of the club?
-Yes, I'm with the Underhills.
-They just left, sir.
-They'll be back. He had to go in for a urinalysis.
-Would you care for a drink while you're waiting? I can put it on the Underhill bill.
-Great. I'll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich.
-Hi, where's Mrs. Stanwyk?
-In her cabana, sir.
-Oh, that's right. She told me to meet her there. That's cabana six?
-Cabana one.
-One.
-Would you be caring for something to eat or drink, sir?
-I would, actually.
-Charged to the Underhills, sir?
-Right. Tell you what -- have you caviar?
-Yes, sir. Beluga. But it is eighty dollars the portion.
-I'd better only get two. How about the lobster thermidor?
-I recommend it.
-Fine. And a couple of bottles of Dom Perignon. To cabana one.
-You want I set up?
-No thanks, I'll do it. Give yourself twenty dollars. Underhill.
-Muchas gracias.
-Your call is come through.
-Excuse me. I have something I'd like to discuss with you.
-The door was unlocked.
-Lock's busted.
-No wonder.
-I work for the landlord. He told me to watch out for the place.
-I commend him on his choice.
-What?
-I was supposed to meet Mrs. Cavanaugh.
-Who are you?
-Where is she?
-Moved out.
-I spoke to her last week. She didn't say anything.
-She moved out.
-So you're saying she moved out.
-This morning.
-What did you want under the bed?
-Mattress police. There are no tags on the mattress. I'm going to have to take you downtown. Please give me your weapon.
-I'm calling the cops. This is for the cops.
-I'm her cousin.
-Tell the cops.
-Fletch.
-Frank, you look a little peaked. Wanna vomit?
-No, I want an answer, Is the story done?
-Uh, almost.
-'Uh, almost' is not an answer. 'Yes Frank, it's all done': that's an answer.
-Two...
-Irwin...
-Oh, I hate it when he calls me that.
-Irwin, professional journalism time, now. Go back to the goddamn beach and finish the goddamn story!
-I will, Frank, I will. Something came up, okay?
-No it's not okay. You have to have this in by tomorrow. Did you see the ad we ran Sunday?
-I never read the paper.
-What's the spread on the game tonight?
-I don't know. Look!
-Now, Irwin, try to follow me. You can't run the ad and then not run the story.
-Just kidding, Frank. You'll have the story and you'll be damn proud of it.
-You broke it? You know the source?
-What's 'practically'? Is it Fat Sam? You said you had pictures of him....
-I have pictures of him. Dealing...
-So let's go! We run the pictures.
-He's not the story! There's a source behind him.
-Who?
-Well, there we're in a gray area.
-How gray?
-I'd say charcoal.
-I'm going to bite out your eyeballs, you know that?
-Gummy and two cops...
-Cool your tool, Frank, I need a little more time. I think I'm really on to something here.
-You're onto something. That's good. What?
-Just give me a hint, all right?
-More cops. I think I gotta go to Utah, Frank.
-Utah?
-Yeah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. I'm sure you've seen pictures.
-What about finding the source?
-I have some ideas.
-Who? Donnie and Marie?
-Very possibly. Come on, say yes. I'll buy you a shirt.
-How could you call him?
-It's called journalism, Fletch. It's called getting both sides of the story. Something you apparently don't know anything about.
-It's also called getting me this close to being murdered.
-Get out of here.
-He threw me in a cell, took a gun and a knife and threatened to kill me right there if I didn't promise to give up the story.
-You know, I've had it up to here with your bullshit. I need a story from you by tomorrow.
-You'll have it.
-But not unsubstantiated charges about dope-dealing cops, and not horse shit paranoid fantasies about homicidal police chiefs.
-Thanks for the vote of confidence, Frank.
-I want something I can print!
-I'm quitting, Frank. As of midnight tonight.
-What? Who the hell are they?
-This is Fat Sam, and this is Gummy.
-What...
-I'm out, Frank. You lost faith in me.
-Fletch, I got nervous. Please....
-Fletch, you want an apology?
-You were going to can me, right?
-Not really.
-Not really?
-I was upset.
-I'm sick of this place. I'm going to try out for the Lakers. They need a power forward.
-Oh, Margie, sorry, Frieda lost the number of Alan's realtor in Provo. Can you give it to me real quick?
-Jim Swarthout?
-And, I'm sorry, who are you again?
-Frieda's boss.
-Who's Frieda?
-Yes?
-Apparently, someone of your acquaintance has charged the most extraordinary lunch to my bill.
-You don't know the Underhills?
-I'd appreciate an opportunity to discuss this with you.
-I just stepped out of the shower! Can you give me a minute?
-Mrs. Stanwyk!
-But I ain't got you...
-But I ain't got you...
-No, I ain't got you...
-No, I ain't got you...
-I said, I ain't got you...
-I said, I ain't got you...
-Ford Fairlane, I'm Colleen Sutton and I need your help. I have a problem and it pertains to the music industry. What is it they call you? Mr. Rock and...
-Don't say it. Orange juice?
-Sorry about the glass. And the house. And the breath.
-Mr. Fairlane, I'm very rich. The kind of rich that warps minds. Nothing offends me. When I was eleven, I walked in on my father and the Shetland pony he had given me for my tenth birthday. Does that excite you?
-Oh, that! Don't take it personally. He always wakes up before I do. Down boy! Roseanne Barr naked!
-Who's your decorator?
-Some fag. Charged me up the ass.
-Fag? Ass? I'm sorry, is that a joke?
-Poor taste. I know. Listen, I respect homosexuals. When I was young, my maid was a homosexual. My maid was a homosexual.
-Now that we've broken the ice...
-I need you to find my little sister. She goes by the name Zuzu...
-Zuzu Petals. You want me to rescue her from the gorgeous hell that is L.A.
-No thanks. I carry my own.
-Excuse me?
-Five thousand should be enough to assuage any qualms you have about my family tree.
-Yeah, but of course for now, I only get a twenty.
-Actually, you may take it all now.
-Oh... I have some questions.
-Ah, the Dorothy Chandler. I was just there with my good friend Art Mooney the other night...
-Who?
-My God, Mr. Fairlane, you look like the Fall of Saigon.
-Colleen and Johnny, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g...
-So you know about Johnny Crunch and myself.
-Ouch... Of course I want off the case. Some monster from Woodstock tried and succeeded in killing me tonight. The fact I'm alive's a technicality.
-So you...
-Listen, Queen Collie, I have a code. I never, ever, drop a case. Besides, I, uh, used all your money to pay my bills, so I kinda owe you.
-Nonsense. After what you've been through, it sounds like I owe you.
-They did one of these about my ex- wife. It's called 'The Nutcracker.' 'The Nut-crack-er'... I don't need money. I need some questions answered.
-I'll do my best.
-Jonathan was such a beautiful man. No one knew him like I did... Excuse me. I can't do this now. I'll call you tomorrow.
-I ask you to find a girl and instead you steal a C.D. from me. Ford. You suck.
-I'll buy you a new one. I found her.
-Zuzu Petals! Did she have it?
-Have what?
-Did she tell you anything?
-Lots of things. Her favorite yogurt. The ten drummers she would take to a desert island...
-Damnit... you were right last night. Jonathan and I were into more than sex. Along with Bobby Vomit, right after old Jack Grendel died, we took part in a scheme to rip off Grendel records... I didn't want you involved...
-What cheap shit... hey, waiter!
-We invested in these factories. In Vancouver.
-That was close...
-Art Mo-o-o-ney!
-So many assholes, so few bullets.
-Damn, Ford, you're the most cynical man in the industry and that's not easy.
-I'm not cynical. Can I help it that life is a disease and everyone's a victim. So you're producing exclusively for Grendel Records now. Hope you're taking Julian for a bundle.
-You gotta shave before you leave the house in a dress like that and I don't mean your legs. Why didn't you jump on her? What's happening to you?
-I haven't seen her around, and as for who would want to kill Johnny Crunch, line forms to the left. You'd find less people on our planet who wanted him alive.
-I've heard cars fuck with more harmony.
-Julian's happy as long as he doesn't see glass shatter.
-Have a copy of that sent to me, will ya?
-Hey, Don, how's the high blood pressure.
-Thanks for the promotion, man.
-Your tip paid off. Jazz, this is Sam the Sleazebag. Sam the Sleazebag, this is Jazz, my secretary.
-Assistant. And don't call me Jazz.
-All your friends call you Jazz.
-You wish.
-I do it for love.
-G'day, they say it's worth three grand...
-Fucking Australians! I hate that country, continent, what is it? Don't we do nuclear testing there?
-Let's just declare war on the hellhole. Before they make <u>Crocodile Dundee</u> three.
-Rock stars! I'm going out of my mind. All I get are perks. I don't make money, I make gifts. How am I supposed to pay taxes with bathtub compact disc players and autographed drumsticks. I want cash. Moulah. Wampum. Dead Presidents. Andrew Jackson. Gerald Ford.
-You're saying you need money.
-Car insurance costs money. Cavities cost money. Doritos cost money. I'm gonna eat that damn bear... come here!
-You're friends with the most obnoxious asshole on the airwaves. The King of the Shock Jocks. I'm, I'm shocked.
-That's for me... Radio contests, really Ford, how tacky...
-So what about this watch?
-Quiet. Tell me you tapped in the police computer and found out lots of good stuff about Art Mooney...
-Tonight after I see Don. Some Beverly Hillbilly just hired me to find you-know-fucking-who. Name's Colleen Sutton.
-Spooky. I'll process her.
-Sorry, Jazz. After this, I'll throw a burger down your throat, okay?
-You're a fucking gentleman. What do you want from me?
-You going to be okay?
-And it's good to see you, Julian. This is my assistant, Jazz.
-Why did you interrupt? Maxwell seemed like he wanted to hire me.
-How'd you get this from her?
-You don't want to know, believe me. But don't worry, I washed my hands...
-A fucking C.D. Wow, this case is closed. So, she's got bad taste in music and in men... Did I tell you she and Johnny were lovers and that they were into something and he got killed for it?
-No, as a matter of fact you didn't. What about the girl, Zuzu Petals, how does she fit in? I mean, she is what this case is about.
-I wish I knew. You did good work...
-Make eye contact when you say that.
-I'm sorry, that dress. What do you say we...
-What did you... Hey, where's your spex?
-Contacts.
-I don't know, what was the case?
-Ms. Sutton hired you to find the girl. Period.
-She's just a bundle of energy, a real treasure...
-Yeah, let's bury her.
-You okay?
-Lieutenant Anus has discovered the cold-blooded killer behind everything.
-Ah, an obvious choice.
-Hello, Ford...
-I came to warn you...
-I believe the last time we came across one of these, was at the ballet. What were your words... 'A fucking C.D. This case is closed.'
-Aha, just what I suspected!
-Hmmm, the first disc was putting out an incomprehensible stream of high bits. This one is putting out low bits. The data is in some fucked binary system. The two discs need to interface simultaneously with a third decryptor disc. Comprendo?
-Your timing swallows the massive one. Grendel just tried to kill us, he's about to frame and kiss Don, and we can't do shit. Don't even ask about those discs. Goddamn that Art Mooney with a star by his name! It's tied to Johnny's C.D., I know.
-What an interface!
-Seems to be information about a factory in Vancouver.
-Yeah, Colleen mentioned it. What do they make?
-C.D.s. The music kind. From the Grendel label.
-Without Grendel knowing about it. B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name-O. Counterfeit C.D.s. Tape piracy has graduated to disc piracy, the sound quality's better, and so's the money.
-After their initial investment in the factory, Grendel didn't need them. Told them to fuck off. They tried to get these C.D.s together in order to have proof of Grendel's involvement, so they could keep him in line. Now's the fun part...
-I just can't deal with all this crap between us, I'm sorry. I'm quitting.
-Let's get hitched. I guess I, you know, love you. It's a beautiful thing.
-Got those Vomit invites here...
-Scalping to a funeral, you're a pretty sleazy guy.
-Thanks. You interested. It's festival seating, so...
-How much?
-Three hundred.
-You gave it to the girls for one.
-Hey, they blew me.
-Zuzu Petals! Zuzu Petals! Yes! Who killed Bobby Vomit? Who killed Johnny Crunch? Why do people want you so goddamn bad?
-A simple 'please' would suffice...
-It's red, Ford.
-Hello?
-You okay?
-Let's get serious...
-Why are all these people after me?
-Uh... wha? You're supposed to answer those questions, not ask 'em. I take it a woman named Colleen Sutton is not your big sister and that the late D.J. Johnny Crunch ain't your daddy?
-You hung out with Bobby Vomit. Who would want him dead?
-I dunno. He was to sound what Cezanne was to image or at least I thought so. Ever since he died, I've been chased... <u>Omigod</u>!
-What? Jesus, tell me!
-Spunk, come back...
-How is it you can look at that HairHead and see God, when all I see is a lucky asshole from Reseda.
-Because I know rock-n-roll.
-You know rock-n-roll? Darlin', I've been in the music industry for as long as you've lived. I've seen things you can't even have nightmares about... but then I guess I'm just not equipped to know the industry the way you do...
-Zuzu Petals, you're not bad. In fact, I was discussing this whole rock-n-roll thing with my pal Art Mooney the other day. You know him?
-No. Who's Art Mooney?
-Yeah, it's weird. Bobby and Johnny were such good friends...
-Friends? You didn't tell me that.
-Why are you depressed? You get in all the clubs, you never pay cover...
-Stop. We still got serious detective stuff to do, but we've been up all night so we should hit the sack for...
-Let's watch some 'M.T.V.'
-People still watch that?
-Zuzu, wake up...
-Hah fluck, great video, huh?
-Are you okay?
-My axe!
-I know the feeling. This must be hell. Can you believe, a flucking sorority... I'm gonna vomit Day-Glo.
-This is boring, guys.
-Ford, you were right!
-I'm afraid so, you want her?
-Nice left you got there, jerk.
-This way...
-Suck a dick, I left my purse...
-As Clark Gable said to Ava Gardner in Mogambo: 'Fuck the purse, we're gonna die-e-e.'
-Reality-reality-reality -- Outrageous building, huh?
-Pretty smooth, huh?
-Smooth. I know this is dangerous and everything but it's kind of fun. Ever see "Batman," you know when Batman and Robin are climbing up the side of the building and somebody sticks their head outside the window and says... I forget what they said but it's pretty funny.
-Ick.
-Hey. God. You're an asshole.
-I can't kill this kid's father...
-Who do you think you are, Ford? The tooth fairy. Kill! Kill! Kill!
-Hello, Mr. Tongue! What a perv.
-Are you okay?
-Oh how sweet, your friend's got his own star.
-You-see-it-all-starts-with-this- factory-in-Vancouver-and there's these-C.D.s...
-Hoh graphic! I'm going to dream of ears for a year! Ugh!
-So, Zuzu. Are you okay?
-Fairlane, you gonna find out who killed the lead singer of Black Vomit?
-Gut feeling.
-When you going to let me work with you? Why you always fucking with me?
-I got something serious to dis-cuss.
-Well what is it? I'm not Kreskin.
-Ouch.
-Hey, you, get off my cloud. I'm talking to my friend. 1962 Fender Stratocaster with original humbucking pick-ups, maple neck, strung upside down for a left- handed motherfucking genius... Jimi Hendrix.
-Who cares? I got a case.
-This ain't no social call. One hundred bucks. To find my father.
-Did he just say what I think he said?
-Holy Colonel Mustard. Gosh, you didn't mention the big clue... Kid, I can't take your money.
-You need it.
-I'm sorry...
-Shut up, you dummy. Who did this to you?
-These two guys in long cowboy coats and real nice suits. I think Armani. They were going through your stuff with screwdrivers and shit... I did what you would have done.
-Run to the nearest phone and call the police.
-Fuck that, I mean, the heck with that. I kicked their ass! Well, I tried. There were two of them you know...
-I tried to help you...!
-And hey, I appreciate it...
-Where's my father? Have you even looked?
-Yeah, uh, I got some pretty good leads...
-So, did you find my dad?
-Well, I got some good news and some bad news.
-Yeah, go on...
-It's me.
-What kind of sentimental bullshit is this?
-Hey, I love you, too, you little jerk. Jesus, guy tries to make a commitment and he's gotta eat shit.
-Who's my real father, man?
-I need someone to help me with my case load, you interested? This whole father/son thing, if you're not into it, I mean, it's okay. You know what I'm saying?
-Nice tie, Lt. Anus, sir.
-You think you're so hot just because you can get into any club. You think you're so hot, just because you have sex with great- looking women. You think you're so hot just because you broke the Ensenada tape piracy ring...
-You gotta admit those are all pretty great reasons...
-What are you running from?
-Why shucks, Lt. Anus, you told me to get the fuck out of here...
-If you're hiding something... oh, oh, I'll have so much fun.
-Why do you hate me? It's gotta be more than Me Private You, You Cop.
-Two words. Disco Express.
-Disco Ex -- man, that group sucked like a squid, they had some shitty single they wanted me to plug, back in my publicist days...
-'Booty Time.'
-Yeah, and that lead singer, Jesus, that white Van McCoy wanna-be with the six-inch platform shoes. He looked...
-Like me.
-I was about to say he looked like shit, but hey, sure, he looked like you.
-'It's booty time, it's booty time, across the U.S.A. It's booty time...'
-Have a problem, call Ford Fairlane. He won't solve your case, but who cares, you'll be dead in a couple days anyway. Let's face it. After today, the California Raisins aren't gonna hire you.
-That's okay. I'm quitting the music detective business to become a cop killer. Pay's the same, but it'll be much more fun.
-God, I wish I could prove you killed everybody. Unfortunately, I know who the real killer is.
-It's some psycho killer groupie. I got an anonymous letter that says she killed Bobby Vomit, Johnny Crunch, and now, this society dame.
-Once I got an anonymous letter saying that the world would be destroyed by a giant purple raindrop. I didn't even buy a fucking umbrella... You were in too many discos during the seventies. The Village People rotted your brain.
-Polo.
-Feel my thumb? I keep it there forty seconds more and a welt develops cutting off the oxygen to your brain. I leave. Twenty- one minutes later, you're dead. The slowest, most painful minutes a person can experience.
-I guess you never saw 'A Very Brady Christmas.'
-Case closed, okay? Thirty seconds.
-Fine!
-What's fine?
-I'm off it!
-Off what? Twenty seconds...
-The case!
-Oh. One more thing. This is personal. I want you to tell me you're a big sissy.
-You were saying, snapperhead? I'll bet you're not smiling now!
-Oh, but I am. Dianetics, Ford. You should try it.
-I want you to say that you're the biggest sissy in the whole wide world.
-<u>I'm. The. Biggest. Sissy. In</u>. <u>The. Wide. World</u>.
-How's it going?
-You gotta be kidding! This is unfuckingbelievable! I have to start the evening crawling down Capital Records, I shoulda chose suicide then, but oh no, the night was young! Next up, my guitar! The second most important thing I own and now it's toothpicks for the homeless on Hollywood Boulevard! Then, then, after I burned up your brother, Jazz... I should say as a
-The point?
-Let me go out like a man.
-How could Grendel Records sign such a wick-prick? I guess Julian Grendel really is deaf as a fucking doorknob. I hear Ray Charles is going to head up the video division.
-Good to meet you, Mr. Fairlane. Your mouth makes quite a reflection. I'm Julian Grendel.
-Boing. You're one hell of a lip reader.
-I knew your father. He was quite...
-Terrible thing, but good career move. His record sales have gone way up. I'll just have to create a new Black Vomit.
-Well, hello, Ford.
-Mmmmmmm. Mmmm, mmm.
-So what did you think of the ballet? Was it like a warm Ice Capades?
-Yeah, I did, you condescending fuck, but I miss Snoopy coming out at the end. Isn't your enjoyment impaired?
-Jazz, we're talking here.
-Uh, nice piano. Probably get a lot of complaints from the neighbors -- heh... It's another time, Julian, another place. If I told you Bobby Vomit, Johnny Crunch, and Colleen Sutton were the ones you were complaining about, the ones who tried to rip you off, what would your reaction be?
-Shock.
-And if I told you that you already knew all that shit, and that you had them killed, what would you do then?
-Actually you're a bit off in the motivation department... I mean, revenge is so... Bronson. Wait, where's the third C.D.? How could you come here without proof? It's a three piece set here! A computer disc from Colleen, Bobby's computer disc, and Johnny's computer disc. Together they make, oh fucking forget it!
-Yeah, yeah, I know the third one unscrambles the high bits and the low bits. Shit, just start torturing me, man. I didn't even know Johnny had a disc and I can't deal with any 'Don't play games with me, Mr. Fairlane' bullshit.
-It doesn't have to be like this?
-<u>Okay</u>! Okay. You got me. Boy, you guys are tough. I have the third disc. Indeed. I. Do. Yes, sir. Yeah you assholes, it's in a very safe place with instructions to have it sent directly to the police if I don't make a phone call by seven o'clock. So if you'll excuse us...
-It's 7:30. You really should get a watch.
-I just gave up smoking. A last drink?
-I'm running a little late. You see, I'm having a party at <u>THE</u> Club to introduce the new lead singer for Black Vomit. Everyone in the industry will be there, including our friend, Don Cleveland.
-What about Don?
-Kill them. Not quickly.
-When I say 'no,' run for the door.
-Shit.
-You'd said something about proof...
-And may I suggest for dessert, the five copies I made...
-Fuck me...
-Maybe later, but first I want like to know why you'd steal from your own company...
-When I was young, I read <u>Billboard</u> and I could not believe how much Grendel Records and how little of it my idiot father Old Jack Grendel got.
-Yeah, it's pretty amazing how much cash you gotta give to the actual artists who create the music. Those ingrates really take a bite. But seriously, when Pops died, you got Vomit, Crunch, and Sutton to help finance a C.D. Cleans operation. You got greedy and they tried to get the three discs together to threaten you, but...
-Man, Julian, that accident took away more than your hearing.
-I'm still the king!
-You're that guy, the private eye.
-You're a poet and didn't know it.
-Do you really know everybody in the industry?
-Only on a first name basis.
-That's cute. You're funny.
-That's funny, you're cute.
-You heard that Bobby Vomit O.D.'d, right? Do you suspect foul play and stuff?
-Hi, private eye guy!
-Hey, troops, here's that rock 'n' roll detective I told you about.
-This isn't music!
-I don't believe it. Getting paid to be the asshole you always were.
-Fucking amazing, huh? Chevy Nova, you Bensonhurst shit! Still in La-la land. Look at us, two rock 'n' roll dicks. Unfortunately, only one of us is a detective.
-Nice getting all those phone calls from you after you hit it big, you Redhook bastard.
-I don't remember any Arbor Day cards from Mr. Rock 'n' Roll Detective.
-How nice.
-It's my daughter, man. I know I never told you about her, but God, I love that girl. She calls herself Zuzu Petals and she's been swallowed up by the gorgeous hell that is L.A. A fucking groupie partying with the pros. You have to get my baby back, she's my pride and --
-'Bye, Johnny...
-So...
-I don't take cases with foundations in bullshit. They are very hard to walk around in.
-I am told it is difficult to pay the phone bill with gold chains and V.C.R.s. There's four thousand here.
-Zuzu Petals. Sounds like a drug. A lethal one.
-What's my name?
-Doyle.
-What?
-Mr. Doyle.
-Ever pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?
-What about you? Can you stand a toss?
-I'm clean.
-You don't use shit?
-Did I say you could move that hand -- I'm not gonna get stuck am I?
-No - no.
-How's everything?
-Everything is everything.
-How come there's nothing out there? That stuff is all milk.
-There's nothing around. Nobody's holding.
-I got a name - Sal Boca, Brooklyn.
-Boca?
-B.O.C.A.
-Doesn't register.
-Got a wife named Angie.
-No, nothing. There's only some talk.
-What?
-Coming in this week, week after. Everybody going to get well.
-Who knows?
-Where do you want it?
-Where are you?
-Takin' care o' business, honey.
-Takin' care o' business -- it's after midnight.
--- Well finish all your meetin' people and get back here now -- and bring a pizza with you.
-Where'm I goinna get a pizza this time o' night?
-Well try, okay?
-I don't know where I'm gonna find a pizza joint open.
-Sal --
-Yeah?
-What's your name, asshole?
-I don't...
-Ever pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?
-What?
-Did you ever pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?
-I don't know what you're talkin' about.
-Were you ever in Poughkeepsie?
-No... yeah...
-Did you ever sit on the edge of the bed, take off your socks and stick your fingers between your toes?
-Man, I'm clean.
-Henri c'est gentil d'être venu. Je vous présente mon associé, Pierre Nicoli. Henri Devereaux.
-Did you pick up the car?
-It is waiting for you in the garage.
-Did they follow you?
-I wasn't looking.
-Henri... I need one more favor from you. I know I am imposing...
-My friend, I am not sure about what is going on -- but for me, I am finished.
-Calm down -- Henri! You must trust me -- this is an extremely complicated situation to which there is a simple solution if you do exactly what I tell you. It's worth more money to you.
-Allo... Salvatore...
-Who's this --
-Twelve o'clock... yes...
-Everything's smooth. Beautiful. I will need a few more days though, the boys think we oughta cool it for awhile -- make sure there's no heat.
-You must take me for an imbecile. Why do you think I asked you to meet me in Washington? I haven't spent five minutes in New York City without the company of a gendarme.
-Look, I'll level with you -- I need a little more time -- I got to shift gears.
-Are you having trouble raising the half million?
-It has to be by the end of this week.
-Look, Mr. Charnier, you got to be reasonable.
-It's your problem.
-Tu sais j'ai réfléchi longuement à ton cadeau pour le voyage. Je l'ai choisi moi-même. Tiens.
-Je peux l'ouvrir tout de suite?
-Oh Alain! C'est merveilleux! Tu me gâtes. Je t'aime. Attends, je vais te montrer moi aussi ce que j'ai acheté.
-Regarde mon pêcheur de baleine... Tu sais il va faire très froid cet hiver.
-Avec ça tu pourras le supporter.
-Mais non, c'est pour toi.
-Pour moi?
-Regarde, il te va parfaitement bien!
-Formidable! Sans toi je m'habillerais encore en docker. Je suis passé voir Françoise.
-Comment va-t-elle?
-Le sommes nous?
-Alain is the only man I know who can become as enthusiastic about a bridge as he can about a woman.
-Are you sure it is dead?
-I'm going to put them on the cat.
-Sale boulot.
-Il fallait le faire.
-Il est en retard.
-Je crois qu'on fait une erreur de le prendre avec nous.
-Une erreur! C'est génial. C'est une vedette à la télévision. Il peut aller partout sans être soupçonné... En plus il a besoin de fric.
-J'ai pas confiance en lui.
-I'm afraid they've become a bit... over-cautious. Our American friends.
-What happens to the schedule?
-We must follow it.
-I don't know. Boca is scared. He's not strong enough. He sees policemen in his soup.
-He is not wrong.
-There'll be someone else.
-It's beautiful.
-It was built in 1917 - and was one of the two heaviest bridges in the world. The arch is still the largest in the world.
-If this bridge were in Europe, it would be on every tourist's sight- seeing list.
-Most New Yorkers never notice it - most Americans have never heard of it.
-Look how gracefully they conceived that arch. Like a bowstring. It was built from both ends. With no support in the middle. Beautiful.
-What's your story?
-You're in show business.
-All right, get up on that bar and dance.
-What?
-Get up on the bar and show me how you work. If I like it you don't have to go in.
-I got no music!
-I'm sorry, I don't know who you mean.
-He got off on six.
-There's nobody like that on six.
-Perhaps he's visiting a guest.
-There may be two... no, three who could fit it.
-A Mr. Paul Ganapolos, he's here alone.
-Where from?
-Des Moines.
-What's he do?
-Mr. and Mrs. Alain Charnier, would be another. He's in shipping.
-Yeh? Who else?
-And a Mr. Michael Lowenstein, I don't know what he does.
-This Charnier guy. He's in shipping?
-Where's he from?
-Marseilles.
-That's in France.
-What about you, Doyle? Who's the best fighter you ever seen?
-What ya doin' out so late? Hidin' from the cops?
-I hear the health department is going to close this joint for selling dirty beer. I come by to help you carry out your money.
-They'll close you down if they ever get a look at those busted-valise broads you run with.
-You want some eggs.
-Why not?
-Hey, Mutch! You want bacon?
-Yeah!
-Where the hell is it?
-I got this little chick I'm tryin' to hit on. She's about 20, 21... I take her to Jilly's last night and she's tellin' me about how she wants to settle down one day, get married... I says, "Hey, this is 1971, baby, I'm just a dirty old man lookin' to score with some pussy."
-Strike out, eh?
-Yeah. In the late innings. Ya look like a night's sleep wouldn't kill ya.
-A piece of ass wouldn't kill me.
-When ya go back on?
-Morning. Sometime.
-Christ you should o' collared him right there.
-Why don't you do the same, Doyle? You look like shit.
-Look. My partner and I found this case and I don't want no Feds screwing it up.
-Case? So far I haven't seen a damn thing.
-Yeah, we got the Westbury covered like a tent.
-That's crazy. You lost the Frog in the subway and you blew our cover. If they haven't moved already they're not gonna move now.
-A bunch of lousy little spic car thieves.
-Nothing in there except a New York street map.
-Who stuck up the laundromat?
-Havin' trouble? You're a dumb guinea.
-How'd I know he had a knife.
-Never trust a nigger.
-Never trust anybody. You goin' sick?
-Let's popeye around the Chez for a half hour, catch the end of the show and a couple drinks.
-Come on -- one drink. Whatta you say?
-Drink this.
-I make at least two junk connections at that table in the corner. The guy is the stripe combo, I know him too.
-Who is that guy?
-Policy man in Queens.
-No, you?
-Hunh-uh. Check the bread. He spreads it like the Russians are in Jersey.
-Whatta you say we wait and give him a tail?
-Give who a tail?
-The greaser with the blonde.
-What for -- you wanna play Hide the Salami with his old lady?
-Monica? Who's Monica?
-If that's not a drop or a pickup, I'll open a charge for you at Bloomingdale's.
-Make it Alexander's, I like the toy department.
-Toy wit' this will ya.
-I think we oughta burn him on suspicion.
-Suspicion of what?
-No sir -- this is where Joel lives.
-What the hell am I drivin' for? I'm a first grade Detective. You're a second grade guinea.
-I'm goin' check on this address in the Bronx, if you're bullshitting me, it's your ass.
-Tell everybody we'll be back in an hour.
-We got information that there's no shit in the street -- it's like a desert full of junkies with a big score coming in to make everybody well.
-Popeye.
-Yeah.
-It's Cloudy. Open the door.
-Why not?
-What happened to you?
-You got the warrant?
-Throw 'em in the bathroom, will you? How good are the warrants?
-You want the red or the white?
-The guy's a frog -- I'm pretty sure. Also he made me. Stayin' on four but went up to six -- cute.
-What about Sal?
-This fella Nicoli's got a record in France, Walter. He's wanted for questioning in the murder of a French cop.
-My ass. The only reason you're in this is because you've got a big expense account for buying junk and you like to see your picture in the papers.
-Timezit?
-Same car.
-Hey, Bo.
-Hiya, Jesus.
-Can you use a new suit for Christmans?
-Where'd you get this fag shit?
-This is what the tough guys are wearin'. You know I only steal from the best. It's Bonwit Teller.
-Pass.
-Forty dollars -- was $250.
-There are four auto graveyards like this one in the other boroughs, handling about a thousand vehicles a month. Those that aren't claimed are auctioned here once a month.
-No. Many are involved in crimes and confiscated... or just abandoned. This is, as you know, your prime source of scrap metal, M. Charnier.
-Two railroads as part of a connecting railway which provided passage from New England to the South. It was actually the first railroad through New York City.
-Why is it called Hellgate?
-I'm afraid the rest of Ward's Island isn't nearly as romantic - a pollution plant, a hospital, a training school for garbage men and that area over there, where the old cars are kept, prior to being processed for shipment to, among other places, The Charnier Shipping Company, of Marseilles, France.
-What is that old building?
-Oh, it's been abandoned for years.
-What was it?
-It was a crematorium.
-For garbage?
-What am I, a shmuck? What's the hurry? He could see a couple of shows and visit the top of the Empire State Building.
-So whatta you want a badge? It's your first major league game Sal. One thing I learned, move calmly, move cautiously. You'll never be sorry.
-I been damn careful up to now.
-Which is why your phone lines are tapped and the Feds are crawlin' all over you like flies.
-I'm straight, Joel. They haven't got shit on me. Look, I'm tellin' you, he'll take the deal somewhere else.
-That was over thirty years ago. I paid for that and then some.
-You go to Xavier High School, Daryl?
-Yeah.
-You remember Mary Finelli?
-What are you saying?
-You know what I'm saying.
-No, I don't.
-Sexual assault, Daryl. Five years. But you got lucky, right? You got away with something else. Something you figured nobody knows about.
-What I know is what I told you.
-Let me tell you what I know, Daryl. You went to Saint Xavier with Mary. You lived five blocks from her. You liked her. But she ain't interested. That must've hurt, huh?
-So what?
-So, what'd you do about it, Daryl?
-Oh, my God! What is that?! Why you showing me this shit!? JESUS! JESUS! Get those away from me!
-You got a collar in here for the Nightingale murders?
-Yeah.
-I'm working with one of the victims outta Brooklyn North. You mind I take a shot at him?
-That's Deleon and Hayes' collar.
-They around?
-Just missed Deleon. Hayes is up in the squad.
-Where's the collar, in the cells?
-No, I think he's up in interrogation.
-Why haven't they killed the juice?
-Switches are shorted out.
-You're shitting me!
-Wish I was. Oldest part of the system down there. We're on it, but it's gonna take awhile.
-We gotta go underground. Get those guys out, now.
-How do we get to the vault door?
-Oh, man. Hope it ain't like this in Baltimore tomorrow.
-Baltimore?
-Oh, yeah. Damn. My watch is busted.
-Hey, Rookie. Be cool. Just stay with me. This is what we do.
-Frank. We gotta go back. Frank...
-Stay with me, Gib. We're gonna do this.
-Frank. Hey, man. You alright?
-It looks open on the other side.
-Don't know what's behind it.
-Gotta be another way up, Frank.
-You okay, man?
-Hey, bud.
-How about a little of the King?
-Damn.
-You alright?
-What's the matter, Jules? Trouble workin' an eight hour shift, watching the kid and whipping up a little bolognese?
-You didn't marry Donna Reed.
-How was your tour?
-Butch called.
-Did he?
-He did.
-It was under control, Bud. Butchy's just getting tight in his old age.
-Frankie, Johnny wants to say goodnight.
-Frank...what's wrong?
-Where's Johnny?
-I tucked him in at Gordo's.
-You give him his drops?
-One in each ear. What would you do without me?
-I love you, Bud.
-Boy is he excited about the game tomorrow.
-I'm off.
-Wish you weren't.
-There's something I gotta take care of. Something I need to tell you about.
-Okay...
-I've been talking to this...guy...this cop...on the HAM...and, uh, he...
-Honey, what is it? Just tell me.
-I've been talking to Johnny...on the radio.
-I know. He loves that thing.
-I'll be upstairs...if you want to play.
-I'm serious.
-Jules, I want you to say hello to somebody... I'm on with John - that guy I told you about.
-The future guy?
-Then you gotta hide it somewhere. Somewhere where nobody's gonna find it...for 29 years! Put it under the loose floorboard by the window!
-Hey, bud.
-Lucky throw, fire boy.
-Okay, I'm on it. Hey.
-Frank, we need to talk...
-Satch, you gotta just give me...Satch is here John. You hear me? Satch is here.
-What is going on here, Satch? What are those guys doing out there?
-I think you know, Frank.
-No, I don't.
-Let's go outside and talk. We need to do that.
-About what?
-What do you mean?
-415 Greenwich St. #302. Under the body of a murdered woman.
-No. This isn't what you think.
-I wanna be wrong here. But we need to go to the precinct and talk about it.
-Okay, okay. I need to go say something to Julia and finish up with the guy on the radio.
-I swear, Satch.
-Uh, huh... Uh, huh. And you got this from the guy you were talking to on the radio when I came in?
-As nuts as that sounds, yes.
-Uh, huh.
-Frank, this is not the time to be worried about covering up if you had a thing with this girl.
-He's not gonna stop, Satch. He's gonna keep on...
-What if I could prove it to you, Satch?
-How's that?
-What if I told you that in the bottom of the 6th we're gonna be down 3-0. And Cleon Jones is gonna get hit in the foot. It's gonna leave a scuff mark on the ball.
-Frank, please...
-The next batter, Clendenon, hits one outta the park.
-Frank, this is insane...
-In the bottom of the 7th, Weis is gonna hit a solo home run. Jones and Swoboda are gonna score in the 8th. The Mets are gonna win 5-3. Go watch the game, Satch.
-Deleon.
-Satch, you gotta listen to me...
-Frank. We know. We know it's Shepard.
-You missed a hell of a game, Frank.
-Next time lets put some money on it.
-Looks like two weeks worth of allowance, Chief.
-I know. Sorry, Dad.
-Okay, start pedaling.
-Daddy put the wheels back on. I'm gonna fall.
-Don't think about falling, just keep pedaling.
-Daddy, I'm scared.
-Daddy, come up and sing the baseball.
-I'm scared.
-Don't be scared. This time I'm right behind you if you fall.
-Daddy, Daddy, I can't.
-You ready?
-Wait...
-Yes! That's it! You got it, you got it! Way to go, Chief!
-Uh, hello?
-WB2YKXB, who've I got?
-Are you licensed to broadcast, buddy?
-Look, I don't really remember how this thing works.
-Listen, you can't broadcast without a license. Unless this is an emergency, you gotta get off the band.
-Where are you transmitting from?
-Queens, New York.
-Whatta ya know. Bayside, born and raised.
-I thought these things were for talkin' around the world.
-15-band closes down at night. During the day you can chew the band with China if you want.
-Sorry 'bout that. So Queens, you psyched for the Series?
-I don't really follow baseball anymore.
-What?
-I got fed up with all the bullshit.
-I'm right with you, man. He's got the heart of a lion. Hey, how 'bout the first game of the Series?
-...WB2YXB calling unidentified station, Queens. CQ 15.
-Hello?
-I been Q-ing you all night. How the hell did you do it?
-Huh?
-The World Series. You called Buford's homer.
-Wasn't too tough, buddy. Game happened almost thirty years ago.
-What are you talking about? I'm talking about this afternoon.
-Sorry 'bout that.
-What'd you just say?
-You call your son Little Chief?
-Uh huh...
-What'd you say your name was?
-Frank...Frank Sullivan.
-Is this some kind of joke? Gordo is that you? Are you fucking with me?
-Look pal, I'm just askin' how you...
-You're telling me your name is Frank Sullivan, you live in Queens and you just saw the first game of the '69 Series...live?
-Right...and I'm asking how you called the game.
-Gordo, if this is you, so help me...
-What'd you say your station...uh, your call letters were?
-Now you listen to me. My name is John Francis Sullivan, I live at 1060 41st, where I've lived my whole life. And I saw the first game of the '69 Series at my Uncle Butch's house with my father...
-What?
-29 years...?
-What the hell...
-I'm dreaming this. Shit, this is a dream.
-What's going on?
-Oh my god.
-What?
-You just burned the desk.
-That's impossible.
-Dad...?
-How could this be happening?
-I don't know.
-We gotta be bouncing off the mother sun spot of all time.
-Sun spot?
-Yeah, that's how Hams work.
-You sound...ground up...?
-I'm thirty-five years old.
-Thirty-five? That would make it...
-1998...? This is wrong. Who are you? Why are you doing this?
-It's really you, isn't it?
-No, not yet.
-Too busy playin' ball, huh?
-You're still my Little Chief, right?
-What's that?
-I think I'm losing you.
-No wait, don't go!
-It's okay. I'm still here, Chief.
-What are you talking about?
-I lost you.
-What?
-I never knew you, Dad.
-Why?
-Fire.
-On the job?
-It was an abandoned warehouse - hit by lightening. Butch told Ma it was just one wrong turn. Said it wasn't your fault. You went with the training, with your instincts. If you'd just gone left instead of right, you would've made it.
-That can't be...that's not gonna happen.
-It did, Pop. It did.
-When?
-But that's tomorrow.
-Don't go. Don't go in that warehouse...
-Dad...?
-Chief?! Is that you?
-Yeah, it's me.
-Dad, you there? You okay?
-We're doing all right, Dad. We're doing good.
-Tell me.
-It's hard to explain. Something happened today. It was like a dream. And when I woke up I had all these new memories. Good times. Times we never had before.
-Dad, I gotta tell you this...cause you should know. Cause I still remember.
-What, Johnny? What is it?
-Right here, Chief. Sorry I lost you last night. Damn thing keeps cutting out.
-Dad...Dad... There's... I need to...
-Are you alright"?
-Something happened, something...
-What? Johnny, what's wrong?
-It's Mom.
-What? What is it?
-She's not here.
-Whatta you mean she's not here?
-She...she died. It's like it just happened.
-She just died, your mother just died?
-When?
-October 22, 1969.
-Murdered? Why?
-There was this case. A serial. He murdered three women, all nurses, between '68 and '69. The papers called them the Nightingale Murders. They never caught him. But the killings just stopped.
-What kinda twisted animal.
-Dad, we did something. Something to make it worse.
-Whatta you mean...
-He didn't just kill three women anymore. He killed ten.
-What are you talking about?
-Something we did changed the case...changed history. Mom wasn't dead. But then after you didn't die in the fire something must have happened. And this guy, this Nightingale guy, he kept on killing...it was like a spree...seven more women.
-I gotta take her away, John. I'm gonna take your mother away. He can't hurt her if I take her away.
-I don't know... What about the other women?
-I'll warn them.
-That'll never work. They'll just think you're crazy.
-What can we do? You don't even know who this guy is.
-No. Nobody got... Wait a minute. I might not know who he is, but I know where he's gonna be. I got the case file. We know what he's gonna do before he does it.
-So what should I do? Call the police? You think they'll believe me?
-They will if they catch him in the act. You can make that happen, Dad. You can tail the victim and call it in at just the right moment.
-I don't know, John. I'm a fire fighter. This is...this is different.
-You ever talk to a victim's family? The one's left behind? They don't act like what you'd think. There's panic and fear. But mostly, it's like there's this logic problem. And if they could only solve it, everything would be okay. But if you look real close - look at their eyes - you can see it. Just a glimmer. But somewhere they know.
-What if the radio stops working? Christ, what if I can't reach you again?
-Why not just get the cops to watch the bar?
-What do I tell them?
-I'll be damned.
-Did you see him? Do you know who he is?
-No. I just kept talking to her. There was a lot of guys in that bar - could'a been any of 'em.
-It's okay. This is working. This is gonna work.
-Whatta we do now?
-Got it.
-Dad, I think I may be able to get you enough information to make sure the DA can nail this bastard.
-How?
-Coupla days ago they dug up a body in Washington Heights - Mary Finelli. Girl disappeared in '68. Turns out she was his first kill. Which means he probably knew her. Most serials know their first victim. I'm gonna do some checking - see if I can put any of this together...
-Tell me something good, Chief. Tell me about the future.
-What else, John. It must be different, huh? Are people living on the moon?
-Didn't happen, we got enough problems down here.
-What are we like in...1998?
-We're okay...we're good, Dad.
-Hey, what about the Amazin's? They pull it off?
-You really wanna know?
-Yeah, you betcha.
-Well, game five was the big one. It turned in the bottom of the 6th. We were down 3-0. Cleon Jones gets hit on the foot - left a scuff mark on the ball. Clendenon comes up. The count goes to 2 2. High fastball. He nailed it. Weis slammed a solo shot in the 7th to tie. Jones and Swoboda scored in the
-Hang on a sec, John.
-John, say hello to my wife...Julia.
-John, you still there?
-I'm right here, Dad.
-You all right?
-Yeah, I think so...
-He killed her John. He killed her and I didn't do a thing to stop it.
-It's not your fault, Dad.
-Yes it is...we did this. We changed everything. I've been having bad dreams, Johnny. Dreams where I die...in the fire. I was supposed to die in that warehouse.
-This is wrong...it's like we cheated...
-I know... But Dad, you can't go back. You didn't die in that fire. And no matter what you do, nothing is gonna change that. So all we can do is deal with this...and try to make it right.
-I don't think I can. I'm not a cop. I can't. I can't stop this guy.
-But we can, we can do it together. Spirit and guts, remember?
-I need you to believe in me. To believe that we can do this.
-John, he's got my driver's license.
-What?
-He took my driver's license, John, he knows where we live.
-He took your wallet?
-No, he tossed the wallet, but he kept the license.
-He touched your wallet! Where's your wallet?
-In my pocket.
-We got him! Dad you got him!
-What?
-His prints. You've got his prints. I'll run them through criminal index. You gotta get me that wallet.
-How the hell am I gonna do that?
-Listen to me, very carefully, take your wallet out, just touch it on the corners.
-What...
-Please, Dad, just do it.
-I got it.
-Right, now I need you to tape it up on the outside, where he touched it, so the prints keep.
-It's gonna work, Dad. We're gonna stop him.
-You're telling me this maniac is a cop? What the hell am I supposed to do with that one?
-What are you doing here, Satch? You off today?
-Dad, what the hell is going on?
-John, you there?
-Yeah, Dad. What the hell is going on?
-I'm here, Dad. I'm here.
-Wait. Something's wrong. I don't...
-What's wrong?
-I'm not your uncle, kid. Gordo, what are you doing here?
-Hey, Sull. My cable's out again.
-Hey, OK if Gordy uses your old gear?
-Sull! What the hell!
-C'mon, man. Get inside. I'll come over. We'll play some Nintendo.
-No. I gotta tell him the address, so he doesn't go in.
-Go in where?
-The warehouse. Buxton seeds. It's tomorrow.
-How you feeling?
-John. John, you all right?
-Longbranch...?
-My father didn't die in a fire?
-Huh?
-My father didn't die in a fire?
-Fire? What are you talking about? He had cancer, John.
-Cancer. It was the cigarettes. Right? The cigarettes?
-Huh?
-This is the Space Cowboy. I'm an intergalactic traveler from the Federation planet earth.
-Gordo?
-I better give you my address then.
-Oh don't worry kid, I know where you live. Now I want you to go upstairs and write this down, buy Yahoo. You got that Space Cowboy. Y-a-h-o-o. It's a magic word and I never want you to forget it.
-Don't choke on your pride, Sull. You ain't ever gonna catch another one like that.
-She made up her mind. Nothin' I do is gonna change it.
-You're not looking too good.
-Maybe you outta lay off a little...
-Another rough night, huh? That it?
-This is getting real old, John. And I'm tired up to here with it...
-I'm sorry. I just...you know...I...
-She makes ten.
-Ten? No. I remember this case. Three. He killed three women.
-That's what we need here, Satch. A lucky break.
-Our lucky break. Mario ID'd the dental. Mary Finelli...reported missing April 16, 1968.
-April 16...? That means she was the first.
-Which means he probably knew her.
-Okay, lemme walk you through it.
-I ran him through BCI...got a hit. Busted for sexual assault: March 22, 1970. Eight days after the last Nightingale murder.
-So you figure the murders stop 'cause he's off the street. Then by the time he gets paroled, he's smartened up enough to control himself?
-Not the first time that's been true. I'm telling you, I got a feeling about this guy. This is the guy, Satch.
-Uh, huh.
-What?
-Got a minute?
-He ain't our guy, John.
-Hi, this is Julia. Please leave a message after the tone.
-I thought it'd be nicer to eat here.
-Sounds good.
-I'm sorry Sam couldn't make it.
-I'm sure everything'll work out. She really loves you...
-So how are things at the hospital?
-Fine. You know Dr. Schwartz retired last month?
-No kidd'n, he musta been pushing 90!
-So how'd you like LION KING?
-Oh, I loved it. I wish you'd gone.
-I know. I'm sorry. Work.
-You work too hard, John.
-Hey, future boy. Frank tells me you're a cop?
-My six year-old here keeps telling me he wants to be a policeman. Right after he retires from the majors. We just gave him a badge and a whistle for his birthday.
-Yeah...I remember. I used to play cops and robbers but y-- ...my mom wouldn't let me have a toy gun.
-You're mom sounds like she's got some smarts.
-She's pretty special.
-Are you a good cop, John?
-I try to be.
-Then I'll bet she's real proud of you, huh?
-Yeah. I just wish I'd told her how proud I was of her.
-Just came by to wrap up over there. Thought I'd say "hello."
-Wife around?
-No. No. Well, sort of. In my heart. Been dead 29 years.
-You used to be on the job?
-Yeah, long time ago. I know you?
-I look familiar?
-The 2-3. Homicide.
-A hot shot, huh?
-Nah, just working the job.
-I hear that.
-No kiddin'?
-Huh.
-Who are you?
-Hell-
-Who the fuck is this?
-Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
-Sullivan?
-You have the right to speak to an att --
-Fuck you, asshole.
-My name is Abel. And I am my brother's keeper.
-Where are you going?
-Going? How do you mean?
-I mean, is there any place in particular where we can drop you off?
-What is that?
-I found this today. There were other pieces of the body lying there, but I believe "he" wanted me to have this...
-That's an eyeball! Oh, God!
-Dammit Shelly! Why do you always have to be such an asshole!
-I beg your pardon, I'm not an asshole. I'm an actor.
-Look Shelly, you're my roommate and I like you... most of the time. But you gotta stop doing these things. Now, I set this date up for you, didn't I? So don't embarrass me. When you meet this woman, just relax and be yourself.
-No more... I can't!
-Who brought up this bright idea?
-... One thousand twelve... one thousand thirteen... one thousand fourteen... What's the World's Record for this?
-According to the Guinness Book, you passed the World's Record several whacks ago.
-You're all just jealous.
-What're you gonna do?
-So what would a weekend in the country be without sex?
-Cool it, Andy.
-Breakfast?
-What was that?
-Why don't we go take a swim?
-I don't know...
-We'd be all alone. We could do anything we wanted and nobody would see.
-What're you doing?
-We haven't looked in the barn, yet. Let's take a look.
-How about a roll in the hay?
-How about you and I whacking a couple of balls around?
-How do we do it?
-First we take off our clothes, then you get on top of me or I get on top of you...
-Think you can figure it out?
-That was the best yet. Was it you... me... or the hammock?
-I vote for me.
-What're you doin'?
-I think it's called "a shower". You might try it sometime.
-Hey Deb... can you hear me?
-Barely.
-I'm going downstairs to get a beer. You want one?
-Do you want a beer or not?
-Destroy the evidence? No, man!
-I'm gonna be sicker than all of you, man. Now I gotta spend the whole weekend totally straight... I don't think I can make it, man!
-I'm a slow eater.
-It's dark down there.
-That's the way it is, man. Cellars are dark.
-Maybe we should do some exercise.
-I can't find the bong anywhere. Can't you remember where you dropped it?
-I can't even remember what day it is, man.
-What's the matter?!
-Nothin'. I was just foolin' around.
-Here. Go down the cellar and check the fusebox.
-Will you come with me?
-Which one is it?
-I appreciate the fact that you worry about me, but don't.
-What are they saying?
-Come on down!
-What's this?
-Your bed.
-A hammock?
-Derek... stop.
-You know what I've been through. Don't ever scare me like that.
-I'm sorry. I just wanted to surprise you. What can I say?
-You can say... "Hello, how are you?"... for starters.
-You haven't changed a bit. Always so sure of yourself. Even when we were kids, when you wanted something, nothing could stop you.
-Is that so bad?
-I don't know.
-You're irresistible. I lose control.
-Just slow down. Let me get to know you again. Let me get to know this place again.
-This door was open just a minute ago, wasn't it?
-What?
-Look what I found. Remember these?
-Did you stay here last night?
-No. I got here just before you did.
-Somebody was in here.
-Goldilocks and the Three Bears?
-Shelly! Where are you?!
-Let's spread out and check all the rooms. Outside, too. You stay with me.
-This is too painful to look at.
-You know, I'm not sure I could live anywhere else. The nights are always so peaceful and quiet.
-It's deceiving.
-What do you mean?
-Why did you come back here?
-... To prove something to myself... to prove I'm stronger than I think I am.
-And, what about us?
-I'm here with you. Can't that be enough for now?
-I don't know. I don't see you for months on end, and when I do, you put this wall between us. How do I break through?
-What happened that night?
-You promised you'd never ask me.
-When you dropped me off at the house, it was very late. My parents were waiting up for me. As soon as I got in the door, they starting yelling and cursing at me. I was so upset... I told them I slept with you. My mothers slapped me. That was the first time she'd ever hit me. I couldn't believe it. I ran
-Could we move a little faster?
-You know him?
-Hi.
-You're Shelly?
-What d'ya got in there?
-My whole world.
-In that little thing?
-What are we gonna do?
-Faster! Eat faster!
-Why don't you help us?
-That scarecrow? Can't you tell how weird his is just by looking at him.
-Come on, Shelly. Who else is gonna give him a lift?
-Is... is everything all right?
-Everything's gonna be fine.
-Please... be cool.
-Are they following us?
-Yes.
-See anything?
-Just a dirty window. Next time, I'll know how to handle a situation like that. Let's just hope that "next time" isn't too soon.
-I don't see anything.
-Got any good ideas?
-This is no time to celebrate!
-What're you doing?
-No time to explain. Just listen. When I yell "stop," you jam on the brakes as hard as you can. Okay?
-Bullseye!
-This has been on helluva beginning to a quiet weekend in the country.
-We had a slight misunderstanding with that motorcycle gang... ... but Shelly made them see the error of their ways.
-We're really sorry, but it wasn't our fault.
-Vera... you and I have had a chance to really get to know one another today. I like you... very much. I was thinking that maybe.
-You've just learned a valuable lesson. A beautiful girl like you should never go out in the dark alone.
-Why do you do these stupid things?!
-I have to.
-You don't "have to."
-I just want you to like me.
-I do like you. But not when you act like a jerk.
-Being a jerk is better than being nothing.
-I never said you were "nothing".
-You don't to say it. I can tell.
-I thought that was the end of the song.
-If this thing is burned out, friggin' Horace will ground my butt.
-Who's Horace?
-What?
-Go out and plug the cord back in.
-Will you hurry up! I gotta get this fuckmobile back before Horace finds out I took it.
-That's it. Pull over. I'm drivin'.
-Will you slow down? It's hard enough to read this thing.
-Well, who told me to take this cow path?
-You admit the sign did say "Camp Forest Green," with an arrow pointing this way.
-Darren, we better turn around.
-Why?
-Yeah... We're gonna scare him.
-That's right. Just drive toward him. He'll move. Nobody wants to die.
-That's a freakin' fact. Least of all us.
-Oh, jeez.
-Don't worry about it. Just stay cool.
-It's kinda frightening to think that a kid like that can go so far over the edge. Jason really screwed up the poor sonofabitch's mind.
-He really believes Jason's still alive, doesn't he?
-I'm getting real tired of this maniac.
-Maybe we better call that psychiatric clinic.
-Is that all you found?
-Better get out the Hefty Bags... Looks like our boy desperately wants us to believe his story.
-He sure chose the right day to pull this shit.
-Whaddya mean?
-You just sit tight, Jason. Once the authorities from Carpenter get here, you'll...
-....with a woman's touch.
-Now wait a second! I thought Burt shot you.
-Come on, you guys! The game's over!!
-You don't know for sure. What about Roy? Nobody's seen him.
-Of course not. If he hasn't already accidentally pelleted himself, I'm sure he's lost.
-Ahh, nothing.
-Once we nail Roy, that's it. Victory is ours.
-This is taking forever. I'm starving.
-That's your problem, Larry. That's why your sales are always below quota. Your instinct to eat is stronger than your instinct to win.
-My ass.
-You become a whole other person when you're out here, Stan. And I don't like it.
-Never should've let her play.
-Come on, Dad. You could have Rick drive down Cunningham Road and look for them.
-Jason who?
-But, Dad, we...
-When are you going to stop treating me like one!
-When you stop acting like one... Tommy Jarvis is a very sick boy. And you...
-How do you know? Did you take his temperature?
-What it is?
-Not what...who. Seems your boyfriend wants people to believe Jason has returned.
-I thought Jason was only a legend?
-...And I said, shut up!
-Can't you at least call the camp and make sure everything's all right?
-Rick. Keep and eye on our wacko kid. I'll be back as soon as I can.
-Daddy, what is going on?
-No. No, it's not...
-Yeah, hi. Listen, I've got to talk to your dad. About Jason. I've got a plan. I need to buy some things first but mainly need help to...
-Tommy, my father is out looking for you right now. Something happened tonight and he's sure you're responsible. If he finds you, he'll...
-What?
-Didn't you say you needed some supplies to do this?
-Uh...yes. But...
-You got it. Just keep an eye out for roadblocks.
-It's all over.
-So what are ya drawin'?
-There...Ya happy?
-No.
-Why?
-Okay, give it back.
-Sorry, Megan. Not this time.
-Wait a minute. I just...
-Are you sure this is gonna work? I mean, why didn't we bring that gun and just blast him away?
-It probably wouldn't have any effect on him. The only sure way to stop Jason is to return him to his original resting place, where he drowned in 1957.
-Lake Forest Green?
-They did show up. Isn't that great?
-Whew...Okay, hand me those padlocks.
-Did you hear me?!
-So what happened?
-You mean you had a bad dream.
-Okay, listen...what's your name, sweetie?
-Nancy.
-...Good. So no more bad dreams can come around here, huh?
-Where'd you get this?
-You know what? Sissy and Cort are playing jokes. You know, trying to scare each other.
-Why?
-Well, grown-ups think it's funny to be scared.
-Are they grown-ups?
-That's debatable.
-I can't believe no one called back. I better...
-But what if they try and scare us?
-I'm sure Cort and Sissy are back in their cabins. So you just go back to sleep and don't worry.
-But what I get scared again?
-It's just that Darren and Lizbeth are in charge of organizing and setting up the new campgrounds.
-So where's Cort gone off to?
-Are you ready? He's taken our young men off to teach them my favorites sport.
-Which is?
-Boy scouting.
-Okay, okay. I suggest that the crime was committed in the bedroom, by Colonel Mustard, with the knife.
-Huh? Oh, come on, Sis. I'm tellin' ya, we can't play Clue with just two people.
-Why not? I used to play it alone. I love murder games. Have you ever played The Consulting Detective?
-No...Did Megan say when she's coming back from her...visit?
-Hi. Everything's all right now. We're here.
-I just realized something. Where's Cort? I haven't seen him for hours.
-I don't know. He called somebody, then took off.
-He didn't say anything?
-What's goin' on?
-Now you better cool out a minute, boy. You already almost got your head blown to pieces.
-Will you listen, dammit!
-Jason is alive. We dug up his body. I was gonna cremate it and...
-Hold it. Whoa... What's your name, son?
-Aren't you the kid whose mother and friends were....
-Yeah. Jason murdered them and...
-And you've been at some psychiatric clinic ever since, haven't you?
-No problem, Rick. Come over and meet a former resident here, Tommy Jarvis. He's got some kinda prank going about...
-Why didn't you cremate him?!
-If you'd just go to the cemetery, you'll see I'm not lying.
-Either you go to sleep or I'll come in there and put you out.
-You're gonna be sorry you didn't listen to me.
-I sympathize with you kids. The best I can do is call the station in Carpenter and have them keep a lookout for them.
-Yes!
-I was going to call the clinic and have them collect your ass. But I don't want you around here any longer poisoning my daughter, or anyone else, with your warped mind.
-I gotta show you Jason's grave.
-I've seen it.
-Don't concern yourself, Martin. This boy needs treatment. We're taking care of it. Sorry for the disturbance.
-With extreme car, for God's sake. If that kid is with her, there's every good chance he'll do something crazy.
-You got me where you want me. There's no reason not...
-Doesn't that tell you something?!
-Mr. Duke, how can you claim that Jason Voorhees is not truly dead?
-How many times has Jason been reported killed before, Mr. Campbell?
-Eight times.
-Eight times. They've burned him, dipped him in nuclear waste --
--- But this time they bombed him and then cremated the body.
-Well, let's hope not!
-In the media, you've frequently been described as "salty" --
--- look, just shut up. Let's cut through the shit. You asked me here because you want me to catch and kill Jason Voorhees for ya'. I'll do it, but it won't be easy...and it won't be cheap. One hundred grand, non- negotiable.
-I understand. However, our audience should be aware that you only charged forty thousand dollars to catch the Idaho skin stretcher.
-Mr. Duke tonight I'm prepared to offer you your sum of one hundred thousand dollars, payable only after you provide American Casefile with incontrovertible proof of --
-Diana -- you heard from Jessica lately?
-...but there just may not be enough time. If you still care about her, if you still want to try to make things better between you two...we should talk.
-So let's talk.
-You have to...save...Jessica... Save Jessica and save the...
-The what?
-Steven...
-I'm here.
-Anything else?
-I know who you are.
-I need to talk to you.
-I'm kind of busy right now...
-I'm going to kill Jason Voorhees -- and I need you to help me.
-Jason Voorhees is dead.
-You know he's not...and he's coming for you.
-No, I --
-Twenty.
-Look --
-Thirty. Name your price. Everyone has a price, what's yours?
-Look, I don't want your money!
-What do you want?
-You know what I want. You know why I need you.
-You need to leave.
-I know everything about you, Diana.
-Everything going okay?
-It's going.
-Legs giving you trouble?
-Steven buggin' you?
-Ed...
-Okay. So how is Jessica? You talked to her lately?
-I gotta get back to work.
-What's the problem here?
-Hello...
-Jesus!
-Sorry, Di. I was just going to my car. I didn't mean to frighten you...
-Listen...don't you worry about Ed. He'll come around. He's too good a Sheriff to let you give him the slip.
-I'm just too old for going steady, Josh.
-Everything'll work out. Trust me on that.
-Okay.
-Good night, beautiful.
-Maybe you should be moving on.
-Maybe you should mind your own business.
-Get up!
-You're talking about my lady.
-She's your lady only cause she ain't had a taste of the Duke yet.
-Careful, Chief. I don't think you know who I am.
-I know who you are and the last thing we need around here is some freak show "bounty hunter" making trouble. I want you outta town and I want you outta town now!
-That's very colorful, chief.
-Where the fuck is she, Duke?!
-Why did you want her body?
-For a good reason.
-Tell me.
-Sorry.
-Tell me!
-Lock this asshole up.
-Jessica, I'm so sorry. I...I wanted to have this cleaned up before you got here.
-She's beautiful.
-Her name's Stephanie.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-Does he know about what happened?
-Jesus, Steven, that's...that's really lovely.
-I mean, how can you go through life without never having made a prank call?
-It was a community service.
-What are you doing?
-Showing Vicki what she missed out on by being such a dull kid. Now, the first thing you need in making a prank call is, of course, a phone. This one, for instance.
-Steven, c'mon, we're not thirteen...
-...and it's now ringing...ringing... and -- Hello? Anthony's Pizzeria? Yeah, this is officer Randy Parker over at the station.
-Oh, c'mon, would you stop, please?
-Is this Anthony?...Yeah, well, I just have one question for you, Anthony -- did you fuck my dog?
-Oh my God, Steven.
-Yeah, well somebody fucked her and if I find out it was you, I'm gonna come over there and shoot you in the head.
-I'm now begging you.
-Randy, you dipshit! Take these off!
-Sorry, I'm working now. You see, I have a job...
-Randy, c'mon!
-Wanna know how I did that?
-Yeah...
-Well?
-I'm sorry. I have to bring you to a cell.
-Are you crazy?!
-I'll be back later. You just be cool, okay.
-Okay.
-Don't do anything stupid.
-What am I gonna do -- I'm locked up in a friggin' cell?!
-I'm gonna get your outta this. Just hang tight. Okay?
-Oh, my dear God...
-How many times do you want to hear this?
-Until I hear the truth.
-I've told you the truth.
-The truth? That Josh, a man I've trusted with my own life on more than one occasion -- let me see if I've got the order right here -- tried to rape Diana...got the back of his head blown off...took a poker through the gut...fell through a plate glass window and then magically disappeared into the night.
-I know what it sounds like.
-You don't know shit!
-I didn't kill her!
-Then why were you at her house?! She didn't want anything to do with you.
-She asked me to come over. She said she had something to tell me.
-About what?
-About Jessica.
-That's a lie. Diana would never talk to you about Jessica. Not after what you did to her.
-Look, I know I treated her bad --
-You call what you did bad?! You knocked her up and then left her!
-No -- she left me! After her miscarriage, I --
--- Miscarriage?! Who the fuck told you Jessica had a miscarriage?!
-My God...you are one sorry son-of-a- bitch.
-She did have a miscarriage, didn't she? Didn't she?!
-What do you mean you've never made a prank call?
-Never.
-You mean never as in really never, or never as in it was just so stupid you don't want to tell us about it?
-I mean really never.
-That's disgusting.
-Steven!
-She's a waitress at Joey B's but she needs some extra cash. Ward's the pimp.
-I'm literally going to kill you!
-Ten dollars! Hell, I can't do that to you -- you can have her for a pizza.
-What's going on? I heard on the P.A. system that...
-The Captain's been murdered. The buzz is that Jason might be on board.
-Have you seen Tamara?
-No. And I'm not losing any sleep over it.
-But she might be in trouble...
-So what else is new? Look Eva, you're asking the wrong dude to feel sorry for Tamara Mason. Wise up -- it's not hip to be her friend.
-I hear the crew members are cute guys in their twenties.
-Really?
-It's my graduation gift from Daddy. It cost over a thousand bucks but it's the best.
-He bought you that?
-A major prick.
-What are you going to do?
-He's undefeated, you know that? Julius is the only senior I'd even consider doing it with. If he wasn't black, that is.
-My parents are open minded about that sort of thing.
-I think it's time for some recreational activity, girl.
-Sounds good. I hear there's a shuffleboard court on deck -- it might be kinds cool...
-No thanks.
-What? Don't be a lightweight...this is top dollar toot.
-It's not that, it's just that... It I get caught, I'll lose my science scholarship and everything.
-You're talking to the prom queen, Eva. Do you really think I'm going to risk getting caught?
-I guess not.
-A real space cadet. I wonder if she'll narc on us...
-I have her in Creative Writing and she's fairly nice.
-What are you going to do?
-That was truly excellent.
-Yeah.
-Time to check out the waiters.
-I think I'll pass. See you later, okay?
-Well...how do you feel?
-What's wrong?
-What murders?
-Never mind, you don't want to know about it.
-Tell me.
-Right.
-I mean, Lakeview High just closed its doors for good, right?
-Right.
-Did you hear that?
-All right, all right -- I'm a major ass.
-And you'll never do it again.
-And I'll never do it again. Forgive me?
-Which cabin is Rennie in, Mr. McCulloch?
-But I thought...
-Where's the radio?
-Christ...where's Rennie??
-She's...she's dropping the anchors. I thought the Coast Guard could find us easier if...
-What's that?
-She never should've set foot on this ship. This is your fault!
-This is Jason's fault!
-Dear Christ...
-Jason's here in New York.
-All right. But if it mysteriously disappears en route, I'll have you sent back home the minute we dock. Understood?
-What are you doing in here?
-I'11 be coming around your stateroom in exactly fifteen minutes, Miss Mason. You'd better have your biology project ready or I'm phoning your parents.
-They're out of town.
-Where did you get that alcohol?
-That's it. You're not setting foot off this ship until we return home.
-Hello, Charles. Has everyone checked in?
-Jim Miller and Suzy Donaldson never showed up. I'm a little concerned.
-Let's go -- we're running two minutes late.
-You have no right...
-And neither do you. It's up to Rennie to decide what she wants to do.
-She doesn't know what she wants. She's never had a stable life.
-And she sure doesn't have one now, either. She needs to live.
-I'm her legal guardian, not you or anybody else, and I alone know what's best for her. End of discussion.
-She's fine, Charles. Take it easy...
-I thought I told you to stay away from her.
-I demand to know what is going on...
-What are you doing??
-That lunatic has been spouting off about Jason since we boarded... It's no coincidence.
-But that doesn't prove that he's the one!
-Did you find Rennie?
-He's doing the best he can, Charles.
-I doubt very much that one even exists.
-What are you talking about?
-What did you do with Rennie??
-There must be a phone around here somewhere.
-Everyone split up -- we'll cover more ground that way.
-I don't think that's such a safe idea
-What a beautiful day.
-You've been coming out here every summer for the last three years, young lady, and you still haven't learned how.
-He never learned how either and he's still at the bottom of this lake.
-He is not.
-Oh, he is indeed. And ready to pull down anybody who falls in and can't swim.
-You're telling a lie.
-I...I can't...
-You're making a big mistake, Rennie. It's not too late to put you back on land.
-I'm staying.
-If Miss Van Deusen knew how afraid you were of...
-She didn't push me into coming.
-Why are you doing this to yourself?
-Facing your fear doesn't always conquer it.
-You had me worried to death!
-But Sean said...
-Can't we at least talk about it?
-I refuse to discuss this ridiculous notion that a ghoul is terrorizing this ship.
-Whatever you've been...imagining... has nothing to do with Jason Voorhees. I want you to be safe, Rennie. That's all I care about.
-I'm not staying in my room, Uncle Charles.
-Get in the boat, Rennie!
-I...I can't...
-You pushed me...
-I'm glad you decided to come after all.
-Me too. But I'm not sure Uncle Charles will be.
-You let me worry about him, okay? Personal experiences are what fuel the minds of great writers, Rennie. You made the right decision.
-Everything okay?
-Did you know that I'm giving up teaching?
-Really?
-Since the school is closing anyway, I'm going to write that novel I've been threatening on everybody.
-Stephen King supposedly used it when he was in high school.
-I don't know what to say...
-Rennie -- I was just on my way over to your room
-Have you seen my dog anywhere?
-So, are you having fun yet?
-Yeah...a lot.
-I seem to detect a hint of ingenuousness in your tone. In other words, level with me.
-I can't swim.
-I had a skiing accident in high school, broke my left leg. It took three winters before I would even look at the snow again...but the solution kept eluding me. I finally took lessons. I've never broken a bone since.
-It's not that simple.
-Maybe not. But you're not telling me everything, are you?
-When did this start?
-About four years ago...at Crystal Lake. I spent a few summers there with Uncle Charles inbetween boarding school.
-Did you have an accident in the lake?
-No. It was just a normal summer. I've never been able to figure it out.
-The Captain and Chief Engineer... they've been...they're dead.
-What is your location?
-I...I don't know...
-Is your ship equipped with Omega satellite navigation or LORAN?
-Yes...
-I've got the numbers.
-Rennie...
-Hi, Sean.
-I heard you weren't coming.
-I got you a present.
-But I didn't get you one...
-I thought maybe we could hike to the top of the Statue when we got there, if you felt like it. It's supposed to be 22 stories tall.
-It's okay...you're going to be okay.
-Can he really take us home?
-Not completing a voyage is against everything he stands for. But I think I can convince him to call a Coast Guard cutter for you.
-What about you?
-I don't know...we've gone off course or something...
-I think so. But we have to lower the anchors so we don't drift any further...
-Where are they?
-I didn't mean for you to go!
-Rennie...??
-Rule one, don't panic. Rule two, assess the damage and act accordingly...
-We'll be okay. I want you to wait by the lifeboats, just in case.
-I'm not going near any lifeboat!
-But Rennie...
-Rennie...what'd they do to you??
-You have to call the police...
-I used to drive a taxi.
-I used to be head of neurosurgery. Big hospital in USSR. This hospital, I'm not kidding.
-Very big.
-I opened thousands of brains.
-What did you find?
-Big mess every time.
-I wrapped my sandwiches in tinfoil. I ate and drove. I had one of those big checkered cabs.
-You are going where?
-Crosstown.
-We must abandon.
-What do you mean, we must abandon?
-We must abandon.
-Contaminated substance. Very dangerous. Shooting mud.
-I never left the garage without my Windex.
-I was barrister in Kenya. I said to him, get off from here. I cannot drive with your body on my windscreen.
-Under the Manhattan Bridge.
-Guys ready to order?
-Paisley Porter. I didn't know you were waiting tables.
-Elliot?
-This is a great young out-of-work actress.
-Say it again.
-Alla puttanesca.
-Nicky. I was thinking about you. I went to the preview last night.
-A lovely piece of theater. Small but important.
-Shut up, Elliot.
-You're an artist. I'm a craftsman.
-Press a button and they give us money.
-How is Lillian? I haven't seen her.
-She wants a divorce.
-Don't talk like that.
-It's over, finished and done with.
-That sounds so final. But are we really surprised?
-I'm completely stunned. I don't want this to happen.
-But didn't we know it would happen?
-Don't needle me, Elliot. Tell me how bad you feel. We're suppose to feel bad together. This is what friends do.
-Very dangerous.
-Asbestos lining.
-We must abandon.
-I'm trying to think. When did you start looking so terrible? You look awful.
-I can tell you the year, the day, the night, the minute.
-You used to love life. You don't exude this any more.
-What do I exude?
-Suffering. You exude a person who sits in a small dark apartment eating soft white bread.
-Tonight you find out what it means to suffer.
-Tonight. What's tonight?
-Shit. They don't have any carrot soup.
-You mean because What's-His-Name.
-You will suffer because he is in the theater. And you will suffer a thousandfold when his review appears.
-It's just a review.
-It is just a review. Do not inhale. Very dangerous.
-What's the fuss? I don't get it.
-That's what I said eighteen months ago.
-What happened eighteen months ago?
-Before his Broadway days. He reviewed the one-act I did at the Fulton Fish Market. We did this play at four AM, outdoors in the rain. One performance. For the fish handlers.
-And he was there?
-Steven Schwimmer. I memorized every word of this review.
-That's awful.
-I recite it to myself with masochistic relish.
-Do you want me to tell you what it was like, reading that review at the newstand with trucks rumbling past and street vendors facing Mecca?
-What was it like?
-Is it safe?
-Do we care?
-I think we Nought to wait.
-I say we go.
-You say we go?
-Do not inhale.
-I'm not ready.
-The man has taken over my mind. He's not only out there. He's in my head and I can't get rid of him. I can't write a word without imagining his response. I'm paralyzed as an artist.
-Where are you going?
-Don't wait Efor me.
-He carries a gun.
-I used to carry a gun when I drove a cab.
-Where is it?
-I gave it away. I thought, I'm a writer now.
-We're making too much of this.
-No, we're not.
-I'm not a lonely spooky writer like you. Nursing a hundred grudges. I'm a man who loves life.
-In other words why should we suffer silently at this kind of abuse? The man is out there ruining lives.
-It's your best play, Nicky.
-He'll hate it.
-We were thinking of putting in a pool.
-`The most interesting thing about Elliot Litvak is that he writes the way he looks -- fuzzy, grubby and shifty-eyed.' I'm telling you as a friend.
-What?
-Shoot him.
-The American theater doesn't need people like that.
-Shoot him, Nicky. Not that we really mean it. But where does he live?
-Keep going west. Last building before the river.
-How do you Eknow.
-Paisley Porter.
-What do you mean?
-About an hour and a half ago. I saw her come out of a place. She said she was visiting a friend. But she wouldn't tell me who.
-Had to be him.
-Great game.
-Unbelievable.
-I think you're a little confused. Nothing personal friend.
-What are you talking about?
-What are we talking about?
-Of course I saw it.
-Did you see the winning run score?
-This could be it.
-This could be it.
-Let's work on it.
-This could Pbe it.
-This could be it.
-This could be it.
-This could be it.
-This could be it.
-Does it feel comfortable?
-Does what feel comfortable?
-This could be it.
-Last night. Alan Albright called me a handsome woman. Second time he's done that. Son of a bitch.
-I hear Alan's sick.
-Alan's very sick. He has to go to New Mexico and sit in a lukewarm solution.
-You know about Adele.
-What about her?
-She's dying.
-She died.
-I talked to her two days ago.
-Apparently it didn't help. You know about Peter, of course.
-Our Peter?
-Peter Redmond. They found out why he can't remember his lines. There's something living in his brain. A parasite he picked up in Borneo, doing the movie.
-Can he get through it?
-They're watching him closely. There's a special rehearsal set for this afternoon. To bolster his confidence. And that's not all.
-I've got bigger problems, Joanna. Personal problems.
-That's not all, Nicky. I've been backing your plays for fifteen years. And I've never been more depressed.
-About what?
-Steven Schwimmer. The most powerful critic in America gets his first crack at Nicky Rogan.
-Look. All I want is a haircut. I'm not worried about this guy.
-Ever since he started reviewing the Broadway theater, nobody in this business has been worried about anything else.
-They can send their heartless brilliant boy-critic. There's a much bigger thing going on than tonight's opening.
-What?
-The Red Sox
-You mean the World Series? I thought the Red Sox were winning.
-Three games to two. But if you know their history, you realize there's a tragedy in the making. I've been carrying this franchise on my back since I was six years old.
-I'm proud of this play. It's so different from anything you've done.
-This is how we've managed to last.
-We're able to surprise each other.
-In and out of bed.
-Because we're completely mismatched.
-I used to tell myself. Talent is more erotic when it's wasted. Will I see you tonight?
-It makes me so mad. Steven Schwimmer ready to strike. The exterminating angel.
-It's all worked out. They'll lose tonight. Then they'll lose tomorrow. I see it with stunning clarity.
-It's your best play, Nicky.
-They'll lose because they're my team.
-I never see you anymore. Where are you all day?
-I go to college. I thought you knew.
-Do you want to get some coffee?
-I don't drink coffee, Daddy. And this is not what we should be talking about.
-I'm seeing your play tonight, remember?
-Why do you need a radio?
-So at the intermission I can listen to the ball game. Do you know that mother is seeing a prominent divorce lawyer?
-That's completely crazy.
-Is it?
-Don't talk like that. How prominent? What are you implying?
-She's doing like those Iranians. `I divorce thee. I divorce thee. I divorce thee'
-If lawyers for the mob are called controversial, why are divorce lawyers called prominent?
-Because they get outstanding settlements. And Mother is determined that this time there's no turning back.
-Because you refuse to believe she's serious. You've always refused.
-Don't be so steely-eyed. It's that course you're taking in criminology.
-Oh please. Not now. She wants you to stop seeing What's- Her-Name. Finally. Now and forever. Do you think that's too much to ask? For a wife of nineteen years.
-You're too young to be studying criminal behavior. It's making you obsessive.
-She is kicking you out.
-Mother won't tell me how long you've been seeing this person. She's embarrassed to tell me. So why don't you tell me?
-Don't call her Mother all the time. It makes her sound tragic and unforgiving. What happened to Mom?
-I didn't turn her into Mother. You did.
-Laurel. Tickets are all set. I double-checked.
-Thanks, Daddy. But I just need one. Mother's not going.
-Opening night?
-Rogan, Laurel. You also have a Rogan, Lillian. She won't need it. Sell it.
-Take it yourself. Take a date.
-And you blame me. It's because we never talk. Let's talk.
-I have a class. I'm late.
-Can we talk later? Will you be at the party?
-Look. I'm sorry you keep running into dishonest men. But you're only eighteen. We can still turn it around.
-Except I won't have a father anymore.
-What will we talk about?
-Will I believe you when you tell me something?
-I see the outline of your body in chalk on this very floor.
-Why won't you tell me your name?
-I'm willing to tell you my name.
-You have to tell me what you thought of the play.
-First you tell me.
-What else?
-Packs an emotional wallop.
-What else?
-If you're wondering about the firearm.
-Yes.
-I have this thing where I have to know a person is being honest with me before, you know, I can feel completely free to be myself.
-We're strangers in the night. The last thing we want is honesty.
-What do we want?
-Mystery. Deception.
-Deception isn't something I personally consider sexy.
-What's sexy?
-Knowing who a person is. Down deep.
-Even if the truth about a person is sad or depressing or shocking?
-Am I really so deeply repugnant?
-Yes. And no more evasive tactics.
-It's your best play, Nicky.
-See, Daddy.
-I've seen it twice. I went back tonight to be sure. It's a brave and honest piece of work.
-What else?
-See, Daddy.
-Your father said you might be here.
-Two-all after six.
-I've been looking for you because I want to let you know what's been going on before you read about it in a gossip column.
-We stranded five runners in the first two innings. This will come back to haunt us.
-I want to be fair-minded, Nicky.
-All right. What's been going on?
-I've been talking to a prominent divorce lawyer.
-How prominent?
-I'll have whatever she's having.
-I don't want to be responsible for his food. Just a small green salad. And a Perrier.
-Opening night, Lillian.
-Who the hell cares?
-The whole thing is my fault. I took unfair advantage of your patience and understanding. You understand me.
-That's always been my problem.
-And you've been extremely patient.
-You know why, don't you? Because I am patient, chain-smoking Lillian.
-You smoked because I smoked. We were falling in love, remember? I used to see certain movies only because you had seen them. I wanted to see what you saw.
-I'd forgotten that.
-I went because you went. You smoked because I smoked.
-That's very lovely actually.
-Laurel wants us to be honest and open. Let's be open with each other.
-Be open with me. I'd like that.
-There may be things you'd rather not know about.
-I want to know. We haven't talked this way in years.
-I had an affair -- are you sure you want to hear this?
-Joanne Bourne.
-Alma Wetzel.
-Nicky, no. This is insupportable. How could you?
-I'm a man. She's, you know, a woman.
-I am really, deeply sorry.
-It violates so many trusts.
-It was an animal thing. No real intimacy.
-I never thought of Dr. Wetzel as having a sex life outside the office.
-We did it in the office. She thought her apartment was too impersonal.
-I'm glad we're having this talk.
-What happens if somebody comes in here right now and shoots you?
-What's it like to shoot somebody?
-Great game. Red Sox are winning.
-Life is good.
-People are dependable.
-All the failures, all the fatalism.
-Washed away.
-It's Stanley. It's the Steamer. Fate has spoken to this man in the depths of the night.
-What did it say?
-A thousand things.
-This could be it!
-Life is true.
-Who is it?
-I'm at the door.
-Go way. I'll call a cop.
-Pop, will you let me in?
-Where the hell are you?
-What do you want?
-It's me. Nicky.
-Nicky comes on Sunday's.
-Where are your glasses? Go get them.
-If it's you, what are you doing here?
-I'm on my way to get a haircut.
-Across Ninth Avenue. Dodgie's. Where you've been getting your hair cut for fifty years. Where Uncle Billy and Uncle Marty got their hair cut. Where Jim Rorty shot a man for cheating at poker.
-It's a constant shock to me, how small this place is. How did we do it? Five people in these little rooms.
-We must have been heroic.
-Five's not so many. There were families with seven kids. A grandmother. A dimwit uncle.
-Lillian says it once a week. `Why doesn't he come live with us?'
-You know the answer to that.
-I do know the answer to that. Why don't we watch the ball game later? We'll go to Mannion's.
-They're only gonna lose.
-Of course they're gonna lose. We'll watch them lose. What good is heartbreak if we don't experience it firsthand?
-Remember 1949? Last two games of the season. Against the Yankees. The Sox lost on Saturday. Then they lost on Sunday. First I cried for twenty-four hours. Then I had fist- fights the rest of the week.
-It's one thing for kids. You get older, you Nhave other things.
-It's all connected, Pop. It's one life. Baseball is memory. How do fathers and sons show their love? They go to a ball game together. Thirty-five years later, they sit in the kitchen and remember.
-But the son is suppose to stop crying.
-You'll need these. Tonight. For the play.
-Don't make me sit through one of your plays.
-Hey, Pop. I know you don't like the commotion of opening night. But I especially want you to see this play. It's new territory for me. And for you too. I have to know what you think.
-Since when did that matter?
-Let's not start that again.
-My back is killing me.
-Where's your elastic brace?
-I can't find it.
-You're suppose to wear it when your back gives you trouble.
-I lost it. I lose everything.
-`Why doesn't he come live with us?' Because everything is here.
-I know, Pop.
-I'm lucky they don't knock down the building. It could happen anytime. And everything worth remembering is right here.
-I think the building's okay. At least for the time being.
-You didn't think it was okay when you lived here. You wanted to get out so fast I thought you were running a marathon.
-Normal boy's ambition. I like coming back. You know that.
-I was in a hurry to do big things, make big mistakes. Any mistakes were okay as long as it was big. But I'm trying to see these things clearly and honestly. That's the play they're going to kill starting tonight. There's a guy out there getting ready to rip it apart. And that's us. Who we were and where we come from.
-So what are you going to do about it?
-What do you want me to do?
-I'm looking at you trying to think. Put your face in the mirror. I know I recognize you from somewhere.
-Everybody else does. Why not you?
-You're Frankie Lazzaro. The gangster from Rhode Island.
-Oh yeah?
-Some little kid stole the hubcaps.
-The most charming gangster in New England. Where are we going, Mr. Lazzaro?
-Call me Frankie. And it looks like we're going nowhere.
-Might be an accident on the West Side Highway.
-How come you got the kid with you?
-Matthew's my grandson.
-A grandmother. God bless you.
-He does bless me, each and every day. Matthew's mother works a hospital shift, so I pick him up at school. We stop for a meal usually around this time. He does his homework and gets some experience meeting people. But we never had a famous mobster before.
-It's the kid's lucky day.
-This is one charming crook. If shooting people is charming.
-Now that's a complicated subject.
-That's a simple subject.
-You see what you're doing, don't you?
-What am I doing?
-You're charming the boy.
-Hey, Toyota. He asked me a question.
-Frankie Lazzaro. Coming down the courthouse steps every day in the media. Children see this. They think you're the Secretary of the Treasury.
-Go on, tell him. Tell the truth. Tell him how you feel, shooting a piece of hot metal in somebody's flesh who was once a child, who was once the same age as this boy. Somebody's flesh who was innocent once.
-You're a family man, Frankie?
-Wife and daughter. My father's still alive. He outlives me, starting tonight. Because the Mets just tied the score. It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?
-An how many years does it take a person to make his family safe and secure and happy, and then in one dumb moment, what does he do?
-I don't know Toyota. What does he do?
-It's a complicated subject.
-Your problem is you take the easy way out. Losing is easy.
-Winning is easy. Losing is complicated. It's a lifetime's work.
-You made him strike out. You wished it on him. You want to lose. It's too hard for you to believe in something. It's hard to have faith. It's hard Nwork to trust somebody.
-"It looked extremely rocky for the Boston nine that day."
-You're afraid to risk believing. Believe in them. Believe in your self. Take a risk. It will humanize you as a person.
-I want to believe.
-Say it and you'll believe it. Life is good. Say it.
-I want to say it because my whole life may depend on these next few moments.
-Then say it.
-Life is good.
-I don't know.
-This is something no one has been privileged to see in almost seventy years. Very few people now alive can say that they have seen what you are about to see, Matthew. The Red Sox win a World Series. This is deeply, intensely personal. All the mistakes I've made, all the envy, fear and violence that's encased in this little envelope we call a
-Because God loves a winner.
-All the times I died when the Red Sox lost an important game they should have won. All the awful things I said to my mother and father. To Tmy wife and daughter.
-Washed away.
-Because life is good.
-Don't worry. It's a test.
-This could be it!
-Then they lost?
-Why does it matter?
-If they lost tonight, they'll lose tomorrow. It's all over.
-Why do you care?
-They're my team.
-They're my team, too. I grew up on Boyleston Street. Right by Fenway Park. I went to fifty or sixty games a year. All by myself. I was one of those kids with scabby elbows. I called out to the players. `Look over here. Hi, I'm Steven. My parents are divorced.'
-I went to college in Boston so I could be near the Red Sox. I took summer classes and the cut them to go to the game. My wife is from Boston. Lillian Ziegler?
-The Red Sox were my world. I surrendered my existence to a team that couldn't win the big one.
-If you're such a devoted fan, why were you at the play tonight instead of the game? Answer carefully. This is important. You could have gone to the theater last night. There was no game last night.
-I was six years old the day Pesky hesitated throwing home and Slaughter scored all the way from first. That's when I knew the Red Sox were my team. Pity and terror.
-When I traveled through Asia this summer, I went to tremendous trouble and expense to rent a car with a phone so I could call up Sports Phone in New York and get the scores. I drove through the war in Afghanistan calling Sports Phone like every hour on the hour, for updates.
-And you're not saying that because of the gun in my hand?
-aybe we ought to postpone the opening.
-Joanna loves this play. She has sunk tons of money. She is completely Ncommitted.
-I had lunch with Joanna. She said she told you about Peter. You weren't concerned, she said.
-hat was this morning.
-'m not worried about this kid.
-Well I am. Worried sick. Everybody quotes Steven Schwimmer. He's here to announce the death of civilization. He kills a play every time he farts.
-Postpone. We have every right.
-Too late. All the elements are in place. Delay the opening and we lose the theater.
-I've had three straight washouts, Sidney.
-I hate the Mets.
-How come?
-Have to hurry back.
-Hurry back. Hurry back to what?
-Game six is history,pal.
-What do you mean?
-To go to the theater. Wears I don't know what. Make-up, padding.
-Why?
-Yessiree, Bob.
-Finally, I get a waiter who doesn't know "Macbeth".
-Sidney remains optimistic.
-Sidney.
-Sidney Fabrikant. Our producer.
-I was educated by nuns.
-Yes.
-I have excellent long-term memory.
-Yes.
-I kissed Shirley Felder on the teeth.
-Yes, Peter.
-But my parasite is consuming all the new memories. Eating my lines.
-You have to see the words. Try to build a mental picture of the script. Imagine your lines high- lighted with a felt tip pen.
-What color?
-What was your favorite color crayon, growing up?
-Burnt sienna.
-Mine was cobalt blue.
-This is your history, isn't it? Nicky? All around us. And my parasite is consuming it.
-Yes.
-I kissed her while she was laughing.
-Yes.
-And the Father replies?
-This could be it.
-What's good?
-You've worked with Elliot?
-I was in the fish-market play. What happened to him?
-There was a review.
-I think I remember.
-So does Elliot.
-Not one of Steven's finer moments.
-Oh. You know him.
-A little.
-And he has finer moments now and then.
-He has -- something. A funny little quality I find --
-Endearing.
-Engaging.
-Elliot wants to kill him with a railroad spike.
-A little drastic maybe?
-Say it again.
-What?
-You know what.
-Alla puttanesca.
-You keep slipping away. How do you do that?
-I was one of those silent, listening children. Glued to the shadows.
-I was all noise. Played the radio loud. Battled constantly with my brother and sister. Here I am, world.
-I hear good things about the new play.
-So do I. Over and over.
-Peter Redmond is an actor I admire enormously.
-Would you like to meet him?
-He doesn't want to meet some out-of- work ingenue.
-I'm trying to prolong our afternoon. In case you haven't noticed.
-The fact is, I have to get going.
-Is it true?
-Is what true?
-He wears a disguise.
-Steven goes to extremes to protect his privacy. No friends. No phone.
-But you're his friend.
-Do you think he can do it?
-I don't know.
-He's a very sweet man.
-Where are you going now?
-Home.
-Someone waiting for you?
-No one's waiting.
-There's a certain kind of wounded young man who uses his oddness to get laid. Is that our Steven?
-If I'm sleeping with him, and I haven't said I am, then so what?
-So everything. That's so what. So I begin to hate him. So I want to do him grave harm.
-But you don't even know me. How can you care what I do with whom?
-I know you both. Enough. How much knowledge does it take before a man does something crazy.
-Do you want to talk about doing crazy things.
-Yes.
-What? Come on, Paisley.
-Our Steven not only disguises himself.
-Yes.
-He feels he has to defend himself if necessary.
-You've come to me. I wanted to believe you would one day.
-I haven't come to you.
-In other words I never understood until today how much pain and anxiety you've been causing with your reviews. Steven, it's so unfair.
-Of course it's unfair. The truth is always unfair. Why do you think I live this way? Hiding out. Stealing electricity from a lamp post. Because people who write the truth are outcasts of society. I can't live openly, in a nice clean doorman building, with my name on the mailbox. They'd come after me in packs.
-Not if you stopped hurting people. Write the truth gently.
-Yes. I've seen your victims. One past and one future. I thought I might convince you to reconsider.
-And I thought, at last, she's here, she wants me.
-Stay. Teach me to be compassionate.
-"A high court judge has confirmed that Mr. Gandhi would have been within his rights to prosecute for assault since neither he nor Mr. Khan resisted arrest." -- I told you about English law.
-Just like proper English gentlemen. I'm proud of them.
-Here, you see? Even the South African papers apologize -- "a monstrous attack."
-Are you sure?
-Oww!
-Sora was sent to tell me I -- I must rake and cover the latrine.
-Everyone takes his turn.
-It is the work of untouchables.
-In this place there are no untouchables -- and no work is beneath any of us!
-I am your wife.
-Please! You're being foolish!
-God gave you ten thumbs.
-"Take a fifth step, that we may serve the people."
-"Take a sixth step, that we may follow our vows in life."
-No -- prison is rather agreeable to me, and there is no doubt that after the war, independence will come. My only worry is what shape it will take. Jinnah has --
-"...what shape it will take." Jinnah has -- what?
-But do you really believe you could use non-violence against someone like Hitler?
-Is my finger supposed to be wrapped around that?
-No. That is what you get for distracting me.
-What do you expect when you talk like that?
-You really are going to Pakistan, then? You are a stubborn man.
-Enough.
-Just an admirer...
-You'd be Gandhi -- ...I thought you'd be bigger.
-I'm sorry.
-I -- I mean it's all right. It doesn't matter. I'm -- my name is Andrews, Charlie Andrews. I've come from India -- I've read a great deal about you.
-You're a clergyman.
-Yes. I've -- I've met some very remarkable people in India... and -- and when I read what you've been doing here, I -- I wanted to help. Does that surprise you?
-That was lucky.
-I thought you were a man of God.
-That's the sort of thing you'll be seeking on this "farm"...
-No violence, please.
-What are you doing?
-Not quite. They're only "holding me" until the Magistrate's hearing. Then it will be prison.
-If I want to be one with them, I have to live like them.
-I'm sure your legs are quite as handsome as mine.
-They're calling you "Bapu." I thought it meant father.
-...and I knew something had to give. And I was determined to be here when it did.
-How does a reporter in Central America learn that Gandhi was born in Porbandar anyway?
-You mean Gandhi?
-Back in South Africa... long time ago.
-What was he like?
-Lots of hair... and a little like a college freshman -- trying to figure everything out.
-What'd he say?
-Tell me -- do you think about hell?
-"Hell!"
-Excuse me, baas, but how long have you been in South Africa?
-A -- a week.
-I'll take your luggage back, baas.
-We only make wild speeches, or perform even wilder acts of terrorism. We've bred an army of anarchists but not one single group that can really fight the British anywhere.
-Fortunately such news comes very slowly where I live.
-Maybe I'm wrong... maybe we're not ready yet. In South Africa the numbers were small...
-The Government's afraid, and they don't know what to do. But they're more afraid of terrorists than of you. The Viceroy has agreed to your release if you will speak for non- violence.
-What can we do?
-If we obtain our freedom by murder and bloodshed I want no part of it.
-It was one incident.
-I don't believe it -- even the British can't be that stupid!
-And Jinnah?
-He's waiting. He's not prepared to accept it will mean as much as you think.
-They are only clinging to old dreams and trying to split us in the old way. But the will has gone -- Independence will drop like a ripe apple. The only question is when and how.
-What do you want?
-Without a paper -- a journal of some kind -- you cannot unite a community. You belong to a very important profession.
-Hm. And what should an "important professional" write about your response to General Smuts's new legislation?
-I don't know... I'm still searching for a "response."
-You will respect the law.
-Well, it's quite a place, your "ashram" -- is that right?
-You're an ambitious man.
-It's beautiful.
-And you've come all this way because you think something is going to happen?
-Hm. Is it?
-Do you remember much of South Africa?
-A great deal.
-You've done me a great service.
-Is it over if they arrest you now?
-Are you going to walk all the way?
-It has. But you'd be surprised. They understand -- they really do. It's not the workers you have to worry about.
-Good. Ba will have to teach you to spin too.
-I would rather march.
-Do you find me stubborn?
-I'm sure I'm fit for at least five hundred miles.
-It is foolish if it is just to save the life of an old man.
-We hope you intend to join us in the struggle for Home Rule, Mr. Gandhi.
-The honor is ours. May I introduce Mr. Kallenbach. He's an old friend and his interest is in flowers. I presumed to tell him he could wander your gardens while we talked.
-You mean a general strike?
-After what they did at the massacre -- it's only an eye for an eye.
-I will not sit by to see the mastery of the British replaced by the mastery of the Hindus!
-Who is that young man?
-I must say when I first saw you as a bumbling lawyer here in Bombay I never thought I'd be greeting you as a national hero.
-I'm hardly that, Mr. Patel.
-Oh, yes, you are. It's been two hundred years since an Indian has cocked a snoot at the British Empire and got away with it. And stop calling me Mr. Patel, you're not a junior clerk anymore.
-I am beginning to know Mr. Nehru.
-It must have been the only Non-violent campaign ever led by a man who wanted to kill everybody every day.
-They are preparing for war. I will not support it, but I do not intend to take advantage of their danger.
-We need your help!
-In England, I was a poor student but I --
-You mean you employ Mr. Baker as your attorney, but you can't walk down the street with him?
-Well, then, it must be fought. We are children of God like everyone else.
-Allah be praised. And what battalions will you call upon?
-They're sparing no one, I see.
-No. You were the surprise. It's been all over the prison. We thought they'd be too afraid of the English press.
-I don't know who they've left out there to do the work. There can't be one mine left open. Have they touched the women?
-My wife publicly defied the law. They've arrested her and four others.
-The fools! Sorry...
-It's split the Government.
-If we hold firm, it won't be the last.
-Will you have a glass of sherry?
-Perhaps some tea?
-I dined at the prison.
-Mr. Gandhi, I've more or less decided to ask the House to repeal the Act that you have taken such "exception" to.
-Hm. Of course it is not quite that simple.
-I'm glad to hear you say that... very glad. You see if we repeal the Act under pressure under this kind of pressure it will create a great deal of resentment. Can you understand that?
-Good. Good. I have thought of calling for a Royal Commission to "investigate" the new legislation. I think I could guarantee they would recommend the Act be repealed.
-You're an extraordinary man.
-Assuming we are in agreement?
-Yes -- yes. It's just that... in these clothes I'd -- I'd prefer to go by taxi.
-All right. Fine.
-I'm -- I'm afraid I have no money.
-And that's the basis of this "Declaration of Independence"?
-...There's been no time to keep figures, but there must be ninety -- a hundred thousand under arrest. And it still goes on.
-Who's leading them?
-He's addressed this letter directly to you, has he?
-Yes, sir, he has. The usual -- India's salt belongs to India -- but then he says flatly that he personally is going to lead a raid tomorrow on the Dharasana Salt Works.
-Ah -- we should invite Gandhi. What the devil has happened to him anyway?
-Have you read his magazine?
-Bapu, for me, and the rest, if that is what you want, we will accept it. But out there already there is rioting because Hindus fear you are going to give too much away.
-He was right. It's insane -- anything would have been better.
-In Calcutta it's like civil war. The Muslims rose and there was a bloodbath, and now the Hindus are taking revenge -- and if we can't stop it there'll be no hope for the Hindus left in Pakistan.
-Could we cut all news off? I know --
-You almost sound like you believe that.
-Come with me now, Vincent. You've gone as far as you can go.
-There are a few million miles to go yet.
-It's over.
-Is that the only way you can succeed, Anton, to see me fail?
-It's for the best.
-Well? You have all the answers. How is that possible?
-You didn't beat me that day. I beat <i>myself</i>.
-Who are you trying to convince?
-How are you doing this, Vincent? How have you done <i>any</i> of this?
-Vincent, where's the shore? We're too far out. We have to go back!
-We were wondering if we should leave some things to chance.
-You want to give your child the best possible start. Believe me, we have enough imperfection built-in already. Your child doesn't need any additional burdens. And keep in mind, this child is still you, simply the <i>best</i> of you. You could conceive naturally a thousand times and never get such a result.
-Is there any reason you'd want a left-handed child?
-Er, no...
-Some believe it is associated with creativity, although there's no evidence. Also for sports like baseball it can be an advantage.
-I like football.
-How much extra?
-I'm sorry, there's no way we can.
-So you've finally seen sense and come back to your old job, Vincent.
-Not yet, I'm afraid.
-No? What's keeping you?
-I guess I'm a slow learner.
-I guess so. Well, while you're up there, maybe you could tidy the place up a bit.
-And don't go getting everybody lost out there. You'll give us a bad name. You won't have me to keep an eye on you, you know.
-By the way, I left some trash in your locker.
-I don't understand why you were dragged out here, Sir. It's hardly worth wasting your time--a no-nothing case like this.
-A man's dead, Detective.
-Of course, Sir. We're checking the entry log, alibis, grudges...
-Grudges?
-I look around, I see a lot of dry eyes. The Director was not... ...universally loved. He was leading the cut-backs in the program. You're looking at a room full of motives.
-No, <i>this</i> is your man.
-With respect, Sir--it may be the only unaccountable specimen but the profile suggests--
-According to this, he's a sick man. Congenital heart condition. Who knows how long the specimen has been here but there's an 80 percent chance the owner of that eyelash has already died himself from natural causes.
-Even if this Vincent Luca <i>is</i> alive, is it likely he could bludgeon a man to death?
-Of course that doesn't jibe with what we found. This was an angry killing.
-Who knows with these "deficients"? His profile indicates a proclivity for violence.
-I'll run a crossover on the eyelash for any family or associate connections--
---I've already run it. There's no record of any living relative.
-What a pity.
-We're in the wrong place. We're wasting time.
---There's that word again. I have a feeling This man doesn't play the odds, Detective. Not exactly a slave to probability. Is it "likely" that a man who has successfully eluded authorities for fifteen years--a brutal killer--is going to come to us now like a lamb?
-Is there something more we should know about this suspect, Sir? I mean besides what's on his sheet.
-Since going underground, traces of this In-Valid have shown up at the scene of four serious felonies. Do you need any more than that?
-With respect, Sir, many perfectly innocent citizens have left specimens at as many crime scenes. Maybe he's just unlucky.
-I don't like anybody <i>this</i> unlucky. Widen the sweep. The West side. Draw a five mile radius around Gattaca. Hoover some of the classier establishments. Random car stops.
-We're already getting complaints about frivolous search.
-The skin flake was found in Michael's Restaurant. The employees are all accounted for.
-A customer? Does this Michael's cater to misfits?
-Of course. He's a "de-gene-erate". He works at Gattaca. Why else would we find the eyelash near the washroom? Nobody stops to take a leak during a murder.
-He was afraid of being exposed. That's why he did it.
-It is hard to believe he could be one of their elite workers. You've seen their security system. They know who works there. Even if you ignore the man's expiration date, his profile suggests that he doesn't have the mathematical propensity let alone the stamina to pass their physicals.
-Don't underestimate these imposters.
-None of the ID photos match the enhancement.
-You know their workforce. Two-thirds at least fall into the category. We'll be closing down their operation for days. At least go with a fingertip sample or urine.
-That's the last.
-Something's not right.
-He's not here. It's a blind alley.
-No, we've missed something. We Hoover again.
-We don't have the manpower.
-Get it. From outside, if you have to.
-From what budget?
-What are you waiting for?
-Where do we start?
-Positive saliva match. The cup was definitely used since the original sweep.
-We found his spit in the dead director's eye. He's signed a confession--supplied us with the suit he wore on the night. What more do you want?
-It's not <i>exactly</i> him.
-How often do you test, Director?
-Often.
-Surely you know what you have.
-We believe we have a suspect.
-What a relief.
-Would you care to look--in the telescope?
-Thank you, no.
-One look through there and you would know why I can't possibly allow you to disrupt operations any further.
-You're so unconcerned that you have a killer in your midst.
-Right now, <i>your</i> presence is creating more of a threat. I don't think you have any concept of what we do here--how meticulous our preparations must be. We are about to send twelve people through 140 million miles of blackness to rendezvous with an object the size of a house and the color of coal. So it's rather critical to point them in the
-Twelve have a mission within the week.
-At least it's nothing contagious.
-Hello.
-Jerome--?
-Good to see you're feeling better.
-Now <i>you're</i> here. Who are your "friends"?
-It's about the Director.
-That's where we get rid of the traces of him although we never truly succeeded.
-I've been looking for him. Do you know where he is?
-Don't be deceived, Irene. These are just the clothes. He has to wear them. Something I could never do.
-What's wrong with him?
-Okay, how tall did you <i>used</i> to be?
-Six one.
-You okay, Jerome?
-What's wrong with it?
-I think I'd better choose the menu. After all, you're learning how to be me, I'm not learning how to be <i>you</i>.
-Suit yourself.
-Listen, I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful --I know you and that little broker--what do you call him?
-German.
-I don't know exactly, Jerome.
-I have to know where you come from.
-If anybody asks, tell them the truth-- your family disowns you. You are a disappointment, Jerome.
-What about this?
-It needs work.
-You had to be a right-hander.
-You really need that much?
-<i>More</i> than that. You'll get used to it.
-God, what <i>wouldn't</i> you do to leave the planet?
-Leave? Just a few million years ago every atom in this hair--in our bodies--was a part of a star. I don't see it as leaving. I see it as going home.
-It's not too late to back out.
-What about you? What's in this for you, Eugene?
-Who died?
-The Mission Director.
-You wish.
-What an act of benevolence--a service to the community. So that's it. Now there's nothing between you and ignition.
-He was still warm when they confirmed.
-This calls for a celebration. Doesn't it?
-The place is crawling with Hoovers.
-That's not the point.
-Hey, how much of you can be there? Even if the "J. Edgars" do find something, in a week-- you'll be slightly out of their jurisdiction. Come on, we've got to get drunk immediately.
-Let's get out of here.
-I gotta stop!! I gotta stop!!
-At least up there your piss will be worth something. You'll all be showering in it, right?
-And drinking it. It's like Evian by the time it's filtered.
-11.15 to the port. A maintenance crew.
-How long do you stay up there before you go?
-A day or so.
-Up there they wouldn't be a problem.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-It's okay, Eugene.
-You know I wasn't drunk--I knew what I was doing when I walked in front of that car--
---What car?--Go to sleep.
-It's all right.
-Call German.
-Any particular reason?
-We can't stay here.
-What are you talking about?
-What makes them think that?
-They found my eyelash.
-Where?
-In a corridor.
-Come on--we're taking off.
-I'm not going anywhere. Less than a week to go. Not on your life--
---You don't understand, they'll make the connection, they'll hoover again. We should cut our losses.
-Where is your head, Jerome? You're acting like a guilty man. They won't marry the eyelash to you. They won't believe that one of their elite navigators could have suckered them for the last five years.
-They'll recognize me.
-And keep your lashes on your lids where they belong. How could you be so careless?
-You really had other offers?
-So it's not just the Hoovers who've got you rattled.
-You're the one who said not to change anything. She's my ear to the investigation.
-Is that all?
-I've got enough on my mind without that.
-If you say so. The stripe.
-Not thirsty? We've got enough virgin samples to last us the week.
-I don't feel too good. I think I'm still drunk from last night.
-Never stopped you before. And for God's sake stop plucking your hair. Someone went to a lot of trouble to make sure you wouldn't go bald.
-How was your evening?
-Complicated. I couldn't stop her apologizing.
-You <i>are</i> a catch. No doubt she's worried that she would lower the standard of your offspring. Everybody wants to "breed up". What's wrong with her?
-You know how it is with these altered births --somebody told her she's not going to live forever and she's been preparing to die ever since.
-You're not thinking of telling her, are you?
-Of course not. But she's have to know eventually.
-Where are we going?
-I'm sorry. I've got plans.
-Again?
-She's already got her doubts. I have to act like nothing's wrong.
-Where are you taking her?
-Everybody goes there.
-You may as well invite her here.
-Will you be okay?
-Don't worry about your little pin cushion. To be honest, I'm looking forward to having the place to myself.
-We'll still be able to talk when I'm away. The conversation will just keep getting longer.
-How long?
-By the time I'm at the Belt, you phone and say, "How are you?" Forty-five minutes later I reply, "Not bad. How are you?"
-Hello?
-How would you like to be yourself for the day?
-How are you, Jerome?
-Not bad, Jerome.
-How the hell did you get here.
-I have your samples ready.
-Have you forgotten? I don't need any samples where I'm going.
-Why have you done this?
-In case you get back before I do.
-Where are you going?
-Thank you.
-First, we may as well decide on gender. Have you given it any thought?
-You've already specified blue eyes, dark hair and fair skin. I have taken the liberty of eradicating any potentially prejudicial conditions - premature baldness, myopia, alcoholism and addictive susceptibility, propensity for violence and obesity--
-Anything I've forgotten?
-We want him--we were hoping he would get married and have children. We'd like grandchildren.
-I understand. That's already been taken care of. Now you appreciate I can only work with the raw material I have at my disposal but for a little extra...I could also attempt to insert sequences associated with enhanced mathematical or musical ability.
-Antonio, the choir...
-What will happen to the others?
-What do you think?
-Vincent...Vincent...
-German, is that you?
-He has the heart of an ox. He could run through a Goddamn wall--if he could still run. Actually, he was a big college swimming star.
-I hope he's not just a body.
-No problem. Before he dropped out he was an honor student, the right majors--
-How do I square the accident?
-
-Yeah.
-I'd have to bleach my hair.
-Why are you inventing problems? You two are a couple of goddam clones. You look so right together, I want to double my fee.
-You can wear lifts.
-Even with lifts I'm never that tall.
-My wife and I--we're thinking of starting a family.
-Why not?
-These new personality corrections I've been reading about.
-You worried about the cost?
-Not that.
-Hugo! I've found him!
-I've found him too.
-No bother.
-I've been asked to compile a log for the investigators--they want to know everyone's whereabouts last night.
-Can that be, er, verified? Were you alone?
-Looks bad, doesn't it, Irene? What about <i>you?</i> Where were you last night?
-I was at home.
-Were <i>you</i> alone?
-Yes.
-So we don't know for sure about you, either.
-No.
-Why don't we say we were together?
-Why would we do that?
-I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything.
-We were just looking.
-Have they found our friend?
-Friend?
-It was a mercy-killing after all.
-They found an eyelash.
-Where?
-In the South Wing.
-Does it have a name?
-Perhaps we ought to celebrate, Irene.
-You didn't know?
-Yes...<i>yes</i>...
-You're angry--
-I envy you, Jerome.
-You'll be next.
-It's here. My heart. I'm careful--weekly check-ups. I'm on a drug maintenance program, blood thinners, diet-- I just want you to know what you'd be getting yourself into.
-What exactly is wrong?
-Of course I think about it every day.
-So you didn't do it after all.
-What <i>is</i> this place?
-Why are we leaving?
-What about the car?
-Let's walk.
-Who are they?
-I can't.
-Come on.
-My medication. I left it back there.
-What happened?
-You remember the '99 Chrysler LeBaron? It's the exact height of the front fender. Looked right instead of left.
-So you're not so smart after all. I want you to know--if it ever came to it-- I'd be willing to get an ovum from the Egg Bank. In fact, I'd <i>rather</i> use a donor egg-- --<i>if</i> it came to it.
-But "if it came to it" then it couldn't have your-- --nose. How perfect does your child have to be?
-You hypocrite. Do you think for one moment you'd be doing what you're doing if it wasn't for who you are--<i>what</i> you are? Don't you get <i>any</i> satisfaction knowing that your children will be able to live to a ripe old age unless they do something foolish?
-What is it?
---when you go away.
-A year is a long time.
-Jerome...never shy. Pisses on command. You've got a beautiful cock. I ever told you that, Jerome?
-If everything goes to plan, this could be the last time I see you for a while. One week to go. Please tell me you're the least bit excited.
-I've got enough here.
-What's this, Lamar?
-Flight got you nervous?
-There's a problem, Lamar.
-Just remember, Lamar, I could have gone up and back and nobody would have been the wiser--
-What are you doing?
-I can't do this.
-I told you, the government pays. It's all taken care of.
-The doctor will give you something.
-I'm not doing it.
---I've read your profile. I don't know about the father but you carry enough hereditary factors on your own. You can have other children.
-Not like <i>this</i> one.
-The name? For the certificate.
-You gotta be kidding.
-All it takes is a long arm.
-Hard to judge how these things happen. The Parole Board almost never reverses their decisions.
-I guess it was because I was a model prisoner.
-You're back with your own people now. Got you some professionals.
-I get my own help.
-What about them?
-Rudy Butler, Frank Jackson...
-Sure, You're working on the passports... ... and visas?
-They will be ready. You guys do your job.
-I'll take care of my end.
-Hello, McCoy.
-Beynon.
-Three... Rudy got ambitious.
-And you got him...
-What about your wife?
-You hired Jackson and Rudy., not me.
-They may nail me into this now, McCoy.
-That's your problem.
-You know, you and I may be two of a kind.
-I'm in a hurry.
-You still don't get the picture do you? I've always heard what a smart ass operator you are.
-A simple reason, McCoy. The obvious reason. To rob a bank.
-I knew that life didn't add up to the obvious when I was 8.
-What do you add up to here?
-One. The radio's rappin' about $750^000. We only got a half a million.
-A little more was taken out before. My brother's a director of that Bank, Mr. McCoy... I had a few pressing debts.
-So we did that crackerbox... to cover for you.
-The obvious. But we are both not interested in that right now.
-No. My old lady must have made a lot of promises.
-Close... but it takes a hell of a lot more than promises to pull the kind of strings I pulled.
-Don't think too badly of her... After all, you were in jail a long time and she is a healthy young woman.
-We'll try again.
-Hello, Doc.
-Hi.
-You okay?
-You want to drive?
-My license expired, let's get out of here.
-I'm sorry I was late... I got my hair done... the girl was slow.
-Feel good?
-Yeah.
-Where do you want to go?
-It doesn't look like that.
-What do you mean? You've never been there.
-What's Beynon got set up?
-Where did you get those?
-I've been doing my homework.
-Just like old times?
-Better than old times.
-I hope so. I am not looking forward to another stretch.
-I made a mistake. I'll never make another one.
-Where did you get them developed?
-Assumed name... Houston.
-Half a million.
-That Beynon's got a long arm.
-What do you want for dinner?
-How does it taste?
-You been okay?
-Pretty good... Made a quick trip to Oregon, saw my brother and the kids. Figured it would be my last chance, unless they wanted to travel.
-How's Estelle?
-Fatter... some things never change.
-Boring.
-Nothing's been boring since you found me.
-That's not all of it.
-You go out much?
-After four years and now the question comes up.
-Couldn't handle it then. Now I can.
-I guess I'm kind of...
-It's all right.
-It's just been a while.
-Wait... give me a minute.
-I'll be okay.
-Listen, I'm just as nervous as you are.
-Really?
-How was it?
-I was going to fix you breakfast.
-You were asleep.
-Yeah, well, I think I'll stick with what I've got.
-$250,000 right off the top.
-Is he straight?
-Thanks again. I 'm glad you waited.
-I couldn't have... much longer.
-Yeah... I know.
-Why are you laughing?
-I laugh when I feel happy. Sometimes just thinking of you made me laugh. I had a lot of that. And other times that wasn't enough. I had a lot of that too. I know you find it hard to believe, I'm happy just loving you.
-That doesn't hurt.
-But sometimes I cried a lot too.
-I didn't. I just waited.
-... Bank President, three tellers and one guard...
-Usually on the right side as you go in.
-Nail him first, be careful he doesn't panic and want to shoot somebody. Local police have one car, a rover, shouldn't be in the vicinity at the time we hit unless it's answering an emergency call... if the cop car shows up remember it doesn't have any automatic weapons. Only a shotgun braced on the dashboard. Get into a tight spot, you'll be out
-For exits off Main Street.
-Keep going over these. I don't want anybody getting lost.
-You know how I feel?
-Promise you won't laugh.
-If it's funny I'm going to laugh.
-I feel like the night before the first day of school.
-It will be such a relief not to have to think about it any more.
-Waiting's hard. You never learn how.
-You know I've actually gotten tired waiting sometimes... worn out waiting.
-At least you were outside.
-It doesn!t make much difference where you are, if you're waiting, Doc.
-Bullshit.
-I mean it.
-I know you do. But it is different. It's different. We'll be all right tomorrow.
-We are always going to be all right tomorrow. I'd like to be all right a few todays.
-We're going to have a lot of those, We're just going to get the money and then go all the way.
-What about the bank?
-Doc...
-They checked in.
-Call the ranch, tell Beynotr we'll leave his cut here --
-Why?
-There are three men dead.
-So what. I've got to give him his money. That was our end of the deal.
-He might be ready to chop us up.
-Tell me about Beynon's ranch.
-Do you trust him?
-I just figure the percentages. He wouldn't try a cross until he's got the money.
-Let's send his cut back -- Just keep going.
-If we make a mistake., he'll burn us. You make a deal, you're always better keeping your end up.
-I don't want to go there.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-There wasn't any way to explain it.
-Yeah.
-You sent me to him.
-When I got out, why didn't you tell me where it was?
-What the hell do you want? Mary Tyler Moore?
-Who's she?
-She's on TV.
-If you don't start telling the truth...
-What do we do?
-A man helped me open it...
-And switched keys.
-He must have.
-How long ago.
-Fifteen minutes.
-There better be a guy with the
-Your kind of mistakes are going to land me back in Huntsville.
-I wouldn't worry Doc. I can always get you out... I'll screw every prison official in Texas if I have to.
-Texas is a big state.
-I can handle it.
-I'll bet you can.
-When we had trouble before it was different.
-You don't like the way things are, I don't like the way things
-What do you want to do?
-Maybe we should split up... I'll cut the money with you.
-Do you mean that?
-We'll grab a room for tonight then you go out tomorrow and buy yourself some new clothes, pick some up for me... Grab some food now, paper bag it, we eat in the room.
-You've got all the answers. What about when they find the body on the train?
-You've got it all figured.
-No... there's a couple of things I'm still working on.
-There may be a hunting party.
-Why, there's nothing on the news?
-What?
-You're full of ifs.
-Maybe. At least I got to him. Where do we go from here?
-That would be the first time.
-When are you going to learn?
-From now on you just shut up and do as you're told.
-You can't trust anything these days.
-I trust... Want to see what I trust... In God we trust... The word's on every bill!!!
-Only one car.
-Where are you going?
-How much?
-Are you hungry?
-Okay?
-No scars?
-Do what I tell you, it's not a game.
-We better stick here till tonight.
-We're going to make it.
-I want to say something.
-I don't want to hear it.
-Look, what you said yesterday... I guess that was right. It isn't worth anything if we don't make it together.
-I don't think we can any more... If we ever get out of here, maybe I should take off...
-We got this far.
-We've come a lot of miles. But we're not close to anything.
-I always thought jails make people hard. Not you. You're just not tough enough to forget about Beynon. I chose you, not him.
-Either we pick it up or else we leave it right here. We got to go one way or another.
-No more about Beynon.
-Sounds good.
-You want to try with me?
-Things can't get much worse can they?
-Okay.
-You and me.
-Can we make it?
-We get to Mexico, we can have a life.
-We've got some food coming, should be here any minute.
-Great. I'm going to sleep twelve hours.
-Ten. Laughlin's going to take us across at four A.M.
-Oh, Jesus... how?
-Jeep. There's a dry river bed fifteen miles east. He takes us to the Mexican side, drops us off at the airfield by breakfast... we've got a 9 o'clock flight.
-I'll be ready.
-Yeah.
-What's wrong?
-I don't know.
-Get in the shower. You'll feel okay.
-What is it?
-Laughlin. He's always got his family around... that wife and kid of his have to stand by his side to make sure he stays off the juice and horses.
-So what?
-You're crazy.
-Come on, come on.
-Who was it?
-You okay?
-Where do we go from here?
-I don't know, airport I guess.
-They will have our description before we can get a plane.
-How long before this car's hot?
-Are we going to make it?
-Hell, I don't know... but we sure gave it a run.
-Whatever happens... we're going all the way.
-Yeah, why not? We're the good guys.
-What now?
-That's right.
-Where's home?
-Utah, the Bee-Hive state. I'm from Orem, right near Salt Lake ... Say, you wouldn't happen to be a Mormon, would you?
-No, I'm not.
-Me, neither. There's about twelve people in the state that aren't Mormons and I'm one of them.
-That certainly makes you kind of special...
-You wouldn't be taking the train to Salt Lake, would you?
-No, I'm afraid not.
-STANDS AND PAUSES FOR A MOMENT.
-I really hope you have a nice trip.
-Three years ago I dynamited some fish at the reservoir.
-Oh my God.
-Hope you get to where you're going.
-Thanks. Hope you do too.
-One thing though... how do I explain this to my wife?
-Can I help you?
-Sure can. I'd like an Invicta 12-gauge pump with the twenty-inch barrel.
-All right. Shells?
-Two boxes of double-ought buck.
-Gonna knock down a wall?
-You're out of touch. Cops blew him up.
-Where?
-Chicago.
-You were with him?
-Yeah. I got out.
-Just in case someone gets a shot off.
-I worked ten years without one, I don't need one now.
-Suit yourself.
-Okay. How many bank exits?
-Two.
-What about the vault?
-Chambers - Reilly. Time lock opens 20 minutes before they start doing business...
-Wire pull over?
-One-inch stuff on a three-number combination.
-I'm good at that.
-I 'm handling the fine stuff. You're back up all the way...
-I'll hang on to these. We don't need them till we get to Gollie«s. Okay. Any questions?
-Aren't we going a little hard?
-What do you have in mind?
-It's just a walk-in bank. You don't have to be Dillinger for this one.
-How's Mama and the kids?
-Growing -- all of them - every day. 318, you'll be the only ones on the floor.
-My lady'11 come in in about five minutes. Have some food sent up in half an hour.
-Just sandwiches...
-When she gets here, have that kid of yours help her with the suitcase.
-He took the day off.
-Then you do it.
-Drive.
-How was that?
-Just fine.
-Where we go in1?
-Mexico. I'd like to find a quiet place to cross.
-I guess you ain't gonna shoot me, are you?
-Let's just get to the border.
-Which way?
-Juarez - Chihuahua City road.
-Don't you want to go to the airport?
-Listen... how much money did you make this year?
-What's it to you?
-Come on. How much?
-'Bout five thousand.
-How about if I buy your car for ten grand?
-You serious?
-Sure am.
-And I keep my mouth shut?
-That's what I want.
-I don't report the car and I don't know either of you?
-You got it.
-You're going to have to walk back to the border.
-Well, I paid a hell of a price. Now for God's sake keep your mouth shut.
-Wish you hadn't said that. When Slim Canfield's lips are sealed, they're sealed.
-Is it possible, Mrs. Clinton?
-What kind of car do you have, Harold?
-A Ford... We have a Ford.
-You do what he says, Harold.
-I don't think you have to worry much about Harold. He won't do anything.
-That right?
-You can trust him...
-How long have you been married?
-Two years.
-Can he trust you?
-Something ought to loosen him up ... how comes we're going to El Paso, Rudy?
-What's the damage?
-Collar bone is broken. No infection yet... the bandages should be changed twice a day.
-I got a nurse in mind.
-The glucose will begin working in half an hour. You'll feel better then...
-The three of us are going to do some traveling. We're going to take your car to El Paso.
-I've got to stop.
-Hello, Jack, I don't know anything, Jack.
-Yes, you do, Albert. Talk or I'll kill you.
-You can't get away from me, Albert.
-I didn't know who Doreen was. Thought she was just another bird.
-Did Eric Pake pull her?
-Yes.
-How?
-I dunno. He's got his ways. He knows Margaret.
-When did you find out?
-A couple of weeks back.
-How?
-No choice. I had a visit from somebody.
-Who?
-Cliff Brumby. He'd seen the film. He wanted to meet Doreen.
-Do you want to be dead, Albert?
-Last Sunday afternoon, Eric and two of his boys arrive with Frank and tell me that he's rumbled. Somehow, he's seen the film and was about to shoot his mouth off. They ask me for some whisky and start forcing it down his throat. I thought they'd just duff him up a bit. Honest.
-What did you do? Albert?
-Nothing. What could I do?
-Did Eric know that Frank was my brother?
-Yes. I told him.
-What did he say?
-You knew what I'd do.
-What do you want?
-What happened to this car?
-What's it got to do with you?
-This is my brother's car.
-Oh ay?
-Yeah.
-Well, he drove it into the river.
-What about the brakes?
-Fine. Nowt wrong with them.
-How'd it happen, then?
-He was drunk. Drunk as a lord.
-You know what the bloody time is! It's two o'clock in the bloody morning!
-I know.
-I made a mistake.
-What?
-I made a mistake.
-What about?
-Bloody well tell me who sent you.
-A new venture of mine. It's going to be a restaurant. Do you like it?
-Yes.
-Five grand. It belongs to you. Along with a little name I'm going to give you.
-What name?
-Kinnear. Cyril Kinnear. Kinnear did it.
-Why?
-I don't know. All I know is that people were shitting bricks up at his place last Saturday. Your brother's name was mentioned. Next day, he was dead.
-Why?
-That's not good enough.
-Christ, what...
-Do me a favour. You don't really expect me to fix Kinnear on your say-so? Just because they tried to get me on you last night, don't think you can pull the same trick. Stroll on.
-Jack, you're wrong.
-Good afternoon, Mr Brumby. Carter exits.
-You shouldn't have shown the film to Frank.
-Jack?
-Good evening.
-I'd like a word with you, Jack.
-That's nice.
-Confidential, like.
-Train goes at four minutes past twelve. You've just got time.
-That's very kind of somebody. Who do I have to thank? What happens if I miss the train?
-I've been asked to make sure you don't.
-Who paid you to see me off?
-I can't Jack. How can I?
-No, don't Jack, don't.
-Who sent you, Thorpey?
-Where's he living these days?
-He's got a new place at Burnham.
-Address?
-Can I go now?
-Everyhing go off all right?
-Fine... I want to talk to you.
-What about?
-She's nothing to do with me.
-What do you mean? You've been Frank's bird ever since her mother cleared off. You're closer to her than anyone.
-Hold it! Hold it! Who killed Frank, Margaret?
-Really.
-I must go. I'm in a hurry.
-I want to talk to you later.
-I can't.
-How were things between you and Frank?
-He was all right to me.
-Nothing more? Just another feller?
-Nicer than most.
-But he was just another feller, wasn't he?
-Yes.
-Though nicer than most?
-Yes. I can't help the way I am.
-Why'd you see him so regular?
-Once a week?
-I call that regular.
-He was gentlemanly. I like that.
-Once a week you like a gentleman?
-Look, I'm me, right. You're not. We are what we are, like it or not. Why all the bloody needle?
-What was bugging Frank?
-I don't believe you, Margaret. Frank wasn't like that. I'm the villain in the family, remember?
-It is. Honestly.
-You bloody whore. Frank was too careful to die like that. Who killed him?
-You know Sid Fletcher?
-What?
-You know Sid Fletcher?
-I work for him.
-Do you?
-I know him too.
-Who?
-Sid Fletcher.
-Oh, do you?
-Yes.
-Yes. I met him last year.
-Go on.
-Oh yes. When he came up on business.
-Really?
-He came to see Mr Kinnear.
-We went about together.
-Really?
-Yes, while he was here.
-While he was here. You went about together?
-He was here for four days.
-Was he?
-Could you do me a favour?
-Yeah, I'll do you a favour.
-You didn't know you had a fairy godmother, did you?
-No. I didn't know that.
-A fairy godmother, all of your own. Aren't you lucky?
-So where are we going, Princess?
-To the demon king's castle, of course.
-How'd you know where I'd be?
-You were seen parking your car. The demon king waves his wand and I was dispatched to bring you to him. Lucky for you I waited.
-Very lucky, I should think. You're drunk!
-Nasty.
-He must have been pretty sure I'd come.
-Oh, he was. He told me a magic spell that would make you come.
-And what was that?
-Who's setting you up in this place?
-Brumby.
-Is he coming here?
-Aren't you scared Kinnear will find out?
-What does he want that bloody great country place for?
-Entertaining.
-What kind of entertaining?
-Does Brumby get a kick out of that crap?
-That's why you waited for me.
-Not entirely. No.
-You sure about that?
-I want to give you an Oscar.
-You've been watching the film.
-Tell me about the girl.
-What girl?
-The young girl. Who pulled her?
-I don't know.
-Was it Albert?
-Shouldn't think so.
-Is it one of Kinnear's films?
-Yeah.
-Who set it up? Eric?
-Yeah.
-Then he must have pulled her.
-Expect so.
-Did my brother Frank find out?
-Now tell me the truth.
-The girl's name was Doreen. That's all I know.
-And you didn't know her last name?
-No.
-We weren't sure where it was taking place, like.
-Nice of you to come.
-It's a bloody funny thing. You know a bloke for six bloody years and all the time he's as calm as gentle Jesus... ...then he goes and does a thing like that. It's a bloody funny thing.
-Let her go. She'll be OK. Sorry about that.
-Don't worry. She's bound to be upset.
-Have another?
-Look, look. Get your suit cleaned.
-No. It's all right.
-Thanks for coming.
-Sorry about your father.
-Yeah.
-Tell me, Doreen, did the police say anything?
-How's school?
-I left last year.
-Oh, what you doing now?
-Working at Woolworths.
-That must be interesting.
-You all right now?
-Yeah.
-You coming to South America?
-Where you going to live, then?
-At me friend's house.
-Where's that?
-Wilton Estate.
-Good. I'm off tomorrow, so I don't suppose I'll see you again. There. Go and get your hair done.
-I couldn't believe it when I heard. Carter is suddenly attentive.
-What?
-I mean, I was surprised when he didn't turn up for work. He was always on time.
-Did you work with him, Keith?
-I mean, what for?
-That's what I was wondering.
-Come off it. Frank was... well... straight. He had no worries I know. Hell, we worked together every day for a year. It would have showed.
-Why would it?
-It just would. He was always the same.
-Since when did he drink whisky?
-Don't know.
-You work here, Keith?
-Keith, if anybody comes in here and asks for me, you let me know. Right?
-Right.
-I'm at the Las Vegas. Behind the dance hall. Do you know a man called Albert Swift?
-Yeah. He comes in here a bit.
-Where would I find him?
-How'd you know Albert?
-What you having, Jack?
-Heard of a man called Thorpe?
-Old Thorpey? Haven't seen him in a long time.
-Said he'd heard you were up in town. Wondered if I knew where you was staying. Wanted to look you up. Old time's sake.
-That's nice. What'd you tell him?
-Nowt.
-See you later.
-Where you off to?
-Thorpey. They were waiting for us in the car park.
-How many?
-Ah, Edna, come in. Join the tea set.
-Who's Brumby?
-Ever been into an arcade there and put a penny in the slot machine?
-Yeah.
-What happened to you, then?
-Did they give you a rough time?
-No. You bastard. You knew they'd come back.
-No, I didn't, Does Albert Swift still live over the ferry?
-Get knotted.
-All right. All right. I want to square things with you first.
-Stuff it! My girl friend's coming from Liverpool tonight. Nice surprise, isn't it?
-I won't be using the room tonight.
-I see.
-I'm staying with a friend.
-Her husband docks tomorrow, does he?
-It's not like that, luv.
-Are you a traveller?
-Definitely.
-Will this do?
-Very nice. I'll pay you for tonight as well.
-Don't be bloody silly. You're the first since Monday.
-Ta.
-What is it?
-My brother, Frank.
-Is he staying the night?
-Funny. Can I phone London?
-What the bloody hell do you think you're at?
-I'm sorry.
-You don't look it.
-No. Really, I am.
-Inside? Why should I give house- room to your sort?
-And what you going to do?
-Make us a nice cup of tea and I'll tell you. I might even let you watch.
-I'll call the police.
-Suppose you tell me what the bloody hell's going on. It's my house, you know.
-Yes, Edna, and I must say you've been great about the ...
-Now just a minute...
-You sod.
-They came back?
-What'll they do to him?
-They bloody hurt me.
-You're lucky. They kill as well.
-Thorpey nearly died laughing.
-That little shit!
-What about Keith?
-What about Keith?
-What you going to do?
-Pension him off.
-You're a bastard.
-So shut up.
-What's that gun doing in your room? Suppose I phoned the police and told them there's a bloke staying in my hotel who's planning to shoot somebody?
-You wouldn't.
-How'd you know I wouldn't?
-'Cos I know you wear purple underwear.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Are you awake?
-No.
-Do you want breakfast?
-You must be joking. I never eat breakfast, Did you sleep well?
-Did you sleep well?
-Are you tired?
-No. Are you tired?
-Do us a favour?
-What, and get myself beaten up again?
-No chance of that.
-Not much.
-They're friends of mine.
-And that'll make me feel better?
-What you going to do?
-You coming back?
-Is he?
-Jack Carter.
-Eric. Eric Paice.
-What you doing around here then?
-Didn't you know this is my home town?
-No, I didn't know that.
-Thanks. So what're you doing? On your holidays?
-No. I'm visiting relatives.
-Oh, that's nice.
-It would be. If they were still living.
-Meaning what?
-A bereavement. A death in the family.
-Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
-Well, well. Small world, isn't it?
-Very... So, who you working for these days Eric?
-Oh, I'm straight. Respectable.
-What are you doing? Advertising Martini?
-Oh, you've been watching television.
-What's it to you anyway?
-I've always ad your welfare at heart, Eric. Besides which, I'm nosy.
-That's not always a healthy way to be...
-So you're doing all right then, Eric. You're making good.
-Making a living.
-They're still the same. Piss holes in the snow.
-Still got a sense of humour?
-Yes, I retained that, Eric. Do you know a man called Albert Swift, Eric?
-Jack! I didn't like that.
-You should have told me who you were working for.
-Cyril didn't like it, either.
-Oh, Cyril, eh? So it's all girls together, is it?
-You're finished, Jack. You know that, don't you? I've bloody finished you.
-You couldn't win an egg and spoon race, Eric.
-Eh? Have a drink.
-Yes, I can see your problem, Mr Kinnear.
-Sit down, Jack, I could weep. I really could. Sometimes I think I'll retire. Just piss off to the Bahamas and let somebody else employ them, Glenda, get Jack a drink. What is it, Jack?
-Scotch, please.
-Eric told me of your bereavement.
-Yep.
-Do you know, I never knew he worked in one of my places!
-No? Funny that. Neither did I.
-If I'd known, I'd have fixed him up with something better.
-Yeah.
-Nasty way to go.
-Not going, Jack?
-I have to. Things to see to.
-Of course, of course. Well, any time, just drop by.
-Gerald phoned us in the middle of the night, said he'd heard you've been making a nuisance of yourself.
-We've got to take you back to London.
-We know why you're all steamed up, and so do Gerald and Sid.
-Put it away, Jack. You know you won't use it.
-Gerald wants to see him first.
-Bollock naked with his socks still on?
-They do that up North.
-Ask me?
-Not suede boots!
-Knock it off, Gerald.
-Are we here to play cards or talk about the old days?
-Oh... I think I'll stay as I am.
-You're bluffing, you bastard!
-What's that? A hundred?
-That's right, Harry.
-What's that?
-That, Harry? That's another hundred - twenty-five pounds notes of the realm.
-Three hundred altogether?
-All right. Two hundred.
-What's that?
-Four hundred?
-That's right.
-You're not seeing me?
-I'll see you, then.
-How about that, Jack? Old Harry thought I was having him on.
-Polacks and deadbeats.
-...Polacks...
-Deadbeats all.
-...they hold on to their money...
-All of 'em. They, hey: it happens to us all.
-You have to cheer up, George, you aren't out yet.
-I'm not?
-You missed a fucking sale. Big deal. A deadbeat Polack. Big deal. How you going to sell 'em in the first place...? Your mistake, you shoun'a took the lead.
-I had to.
-You had to, yeah. Why?
-To get on the...
-To get on the board. Yeah. How you goan'a get on the board sell'n a Polack? And I'll tell you, I'll tell you what else. You listening? I'll tell you what else: don't ever try to sell an Indian.
-I'd never try to sell an Indian.
-You get those names come up, you ever get 'em, "Patel?"
-Mmm...
-You ever get 'em?
-Well, I think I had one once.
-You did?
-You had one you'd know it. Patel. They keep coming up. I don't know. They like to talk to salesmen. They're lonely, something. They like to feel superior, I don't know. Never bought a fucking thing. You're sitting down "The Rio Rancho this, the blah blah blah," "The Mountain View--" "Oh yes. My brother told me that..." They got a grapevine. Fuckin' Indians, George.
-What?
-The whole fuckin' thing...The pressure's just too great. You're ab...you're absolu...they're too important. All of them. You go in the door. I..."I got to close this fucker, or I don't eat lunch," "or I don't win the Cadillac..." We fuckin' work too hard. You work too hard. We all, I remember when we were at Platt...huh? Glen Ross Farms... didn't we sell a bunch
-They came in and they, you know...
-They did.
-They killed the goose.
-They did.
-And now...
-We're stuck with this...
-We're stuck with this fucking shit...
-...this shit...
-It's too...
-It is.
-Eh?
-It's too...
-You get a bad month, all of a...
-You're on this...
-All of, they got you on this "board..."
-I, I...I...
-Some contest board...
-I...
-It's not.
-And it's not right to the customers.
-I know it's not. I'll tell you, you got, you know, you got...what did I learn as a kid on Western? Don't sell a guy one car. Sell him five cars over fifteen years.
-That's right?
-Eh...?
-That's right?
-Goddamn right, that's right. Guys come on: "Oh, the blah blah blah, I know what I'll do: I'll go in and rob everyone blind and go to Argentina cause nobody ever thought of this before."
-...that's right...
-Eh?
-No. That's absolutely right.
-And so they kill the goose. I, I, I'll...and a fuckin' man, worked all his life has got to...
-...that's right...
-Shoes, boots, yes...
-For some fuckin' "Sell ten thousand and you win the steak knives..."
-For some sales pro...
-...sales promotion, "You lose, then we fire your..." No. It's medieval... it's wrong. "Or we're going to fire your ass." It's wrong.
-Yes.
-Yes, it is. And you know who's responsible?
-Who?
-You know who it is. It's Mitch. And Murray. 'Cause it doesn't have to be this way.
-No.
-Look at Jerry Graff. He's clean, he's doing business for himself, he's got his, that list of his with the nurses...see? You see? That's thinking. Why take ten percent? A ten percent comm...why are we giving the rest away? What are we giving ninety per...for nothing. For some jerk sit in the office tell you "Get out there and close." "Go win the Cadillac."
-That's thinking. Now, he's got the leads, he goes in business for himself. He's...that's what I... that's thinking! "Who? Who's got a steady job, a couple bucks nobody's touched, who?"
-Nurses.
-So Graff buys a fucking list of nurses, one grand--if he paid two I'll eat my hat--four, five thousand nurses, and he's going wild...
-He is?
-He's doing very well.
-I heard that they were running cold.
-The nurses?
-Yes.
-You hear a lot of things...He's doing very well. He's doing very well.
-With River Oaks?
-River Oaks, Brook Farms. All of that shit. Somebody told me, you know what he's clearing himself? Fourteen, fifteen grand a week.
-That's what I'm saying. Why? The leads. He's got the good leads... what are we, we're sitting in the shit here. Why? We have to go to them to get them. Huh. Ninety percent our sale, we're paying to the office for the leads.
-The leads, the overhead, the telephones, there's lots of things.
-What do you need? A telephone, some broad to say "Good morning," nothing...nothing...
-No, it's not that simple, Dave...
-Yes. It is. It is simple, and you know what the hard part is?
-What?
-Starting up.
-What hard part?
-Of doing the thing. The dif...the difference. Between me and Jerry Graff. Going to business for yourself. The hard part is...you know what it is?
-What?
-Just the act.
-To say "I'm going on my own." 'Cause what you do, George, let me tell you what you do: you find yourself in thrall to someone else. And we enslave ourselves. To please. To win some fucking toaster...to...to... and the guy who got there first made up those...
-That's right...
-He made up those rules, and we're working for him.
-That's the truth...
-That's the God's truth. And it gets me depressed. I swear that it does. At MY AGE. To see a goddamn: "Somebody wins the Cadillac this month. P.S. Two guys get fucked."
-Huh.
-You don't ax your sales force.
-No.
-You...
-You...
-You build it!
-That's what I...
-You fucking build it! Men come...
-...you're absolutely right.
-They...
-They have...
-When they...
-Look look look look, when they build your business, then you can't fucking turn around, enslave them, treat them like children, fuck them up the ass, leave them to fend for themselves... no. No. You're absolutely right, and I want to tell you something.
-What?
-I want to tell you what somebody should do.
-What?
-Someone should stand up and strike back.
-What do you mean?
-Somebody...
-Yes...?
-Should do something to them.
-Something. To pay them back. Someone, someone should hurt them. Murray and Mitch.
-Someone should hurt them.
-Yes.
-How?
-How? Do something to hurt them. Where they live.
-Someone should rob the office.
-Huh.
-What could somebody get for them?
-How many leads have we got?
-The Glengarry...the premium leads...? I'd say we got five thousand. Five. Five thousand leads.
-And you're saying a fella could take and sell these leads to Jerry Graff.
-Yes.
-How do you know he'd buy them?
-Graff? Because I worked for him.
-You haven't talked to him.
-Yes. I mean are you actually talking about this, or are we just...
-No, we're just...
-We're just "talking" about it.
-We're just speaking about it. As an idea.
-As an idea.
-Yes.
-No.
-Talking about it as a...
-No.
-As a robbery.
-As a "robbery"?! No.
-Well. Well...
-So all this, um, you didn't, actually, you didn't go talk to Graff.
-You didn't?
-No. Not actually.
-Did you?
-What did you say?
-Yes. I said, "Not actually." The fuck you care, George? We're just talking...
-Because, because, you know, it's a crime.
-That's right. It's a crime. It is a crime. It's also very safe.
-You're actually talking about this?
-You're going to steal the leads?
-Did I say that?
-Did you talk to Graff?
-Is that what I said?
-What did he say?
-Yes.
-What will he pay?
-A buck a shot.
-For five thousand?
-However they are, that's the deal. A buck a throw. Five thousand dollars. Split it half and half.
-You're saying "me."
-A job with Graff.
-Is that what I said?
-He'd give me a job.
-Yes. It is, George. Yes. It's a big decision. And it's a big reward. It's a big reward. For one night's work. But it's got to be tonight.
-What?
-What? What? The leads.
-You have to steal the leads tonight?
-That's right, the guys are moving them downtown. After the thirtieth. Murray and Mitch. After the contest.
-You're, you're saying so you have to go in there tonight and...
-You...
-I'm sorry?
-Me?
-Yes.
-I...
-It's not something for nothing, George, I took you in on this, you have to go. That's your thing. I've made the deal with Graff. I can't go. I can't go in, I've spoken on this too much. I've got a big mouth. "The fucking leads" et cetera, blah blah blah "...the fucking tight ass company..."
-They'll know when you go over to Graff...
-Dave.
-Yes.
-You want me to break into the office tonight and steal the leads?
-Oh, yes, George.
-What does that mean?
-Listen to this. I have an alibi, I'm going to the Como Inn, why? Why? The place gets robbed, they're going to come looking for me. Why? Because I probably did it. Are you going to turn me in? George? Are you going to turn me in?
-What if you don't get caught?
-They come to you, you going to turn me in?
-Why would they come to me?
-They're going to come to everyone.
-Why would I do it?
-You wouldn't, George, that's why I'm talking to you. Answer me. They come to you. You going to turn me in?
-No.
-Are you sure?
-Yes. I'm sure.
-...you don't have to come in...
-...and rob the place...
-...I thought that we were only talking...
-...they take me, then. They're going to ask me who were my accomplices.
-Me?
-Absolutely.
-That's ridiculous.
-Well, to the law, you're an accessory. Before the fact.
-I didn't ask to be.
-Then tough luck, George, because you are.
-Why? Why, because you only told me about it?
-That's right.
-Why are you doing this to me, Dave. Why are you talking this way to me? I don't understand. Why are you doing this at all...?
-Well, well, well, talk to me, we sat down to eat dinner, and here I'm a criminal...
-You went for it.
-In the abstract...
-So I'm making it concrete.
-Why?
-Why? Why you going to give me five grand?
-Do you need five grand?
-Is that what I just said?
-You need money? Is that the...
-Hey, hey, let's just keep it simple, what I need is not the...what do you need...?
-What is the five grand? What is the, you said that we were going to split five...
-I lied. Alright? My end is my business. Your end's twenty-five. In or out. You tell me, you're out you take the consequences.
-I do?
-And why is that?
-Can we get some coffee...?
-Fine.
-Uh-huh.
-I, you know, they should be insured.
-Then, you know, they wouldn't be so ups...
-Yeah. That's swell. Yes. You're right. How are you?
-I'm fine. You mean the board? You mean the board...?
-I don't...yes. Okay, the board.
-I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm fucked on the board. You. You see how...I... I can't...my mind must be in other places. 'Cause I can't do any...
-I can't close 'em.
-Well, they're old. I saw the shit that they were giving you.
-Yes.
-Huh?
-Yes. They are old.
-They're ancient.
-Clear...
-It is dead.
-It's a waste of time.
-Yes. I'm no fucking good.
-That's...
-Everything I...you know...
-That's not...Fuck that shit, George. You're a, hey, you had a bad month. You're a good man, George.
-I am?
-You hit a bad streak. We've all... look at this: fifteen units Mountain View, the fucking things get stole.
-He said he filed...
-He filed half of them, he filed the big one. All the little ones, I have, I have to go back and...ah, fuck, I got to go out like a fucking schmuck hat in my hand and reclose the... I mean, talk about a bad streak. That would sap anyone's self confi... I got to go out and reclose all my... Where's the phones?
-They stole...
-What. What kind of outfit are we running where...where anyone...
-They stole the phones.
-Where criminals can come in here... they take the...
-You think they're going to catch... where are you going?
-Were the leads...
-...what am I going to do all month...
-He said we're all going to have to go talk to the guy.
-He said we...
-To the cops?
-Yeah.
-Yeah. That's swell. Another waste of time.
-A waste of time? Why?
-Why? 'Cause they aren't going to find the guy.
-The cops?
-Yes. The cops. No.
-They aren't?
-No.
-Why don't you think so?
-Why? Because they're stupid. "Where were you last night..."
-Where were you?
-Where was I?
-Yes.
-I was at home, where were you?
-See...? Were you the guy who broke in?
-Was I?
-Yes.
-No.
-Then don't sweat it, George, you know why?
-No.
-You have nothing to hide.
-When I talk to the police, I get nervous.
-Yeah. You know who doesn't?
-No, who?
-Thieves.
-Why?
-They're inured to it.
-You think so?
-Will you excuse...
-Where did Moss...? I...
-Will you excuse us please?
-Did they...?
-You understand?
-Did they catch...?
-Did the leads come in yet?
-No.
-Oh, God, I hate this job.
-Read it. Bruce and Harriett Nyborg. What happened here?
-Shelly, the Machine, Levene.
-You...
-That's great.
-Wh...wh...Wha...?
-...how can you talk to me that... that...
-Rick, I'm going to flag a cab.
-Who used to say that?
-I, um, and may...maybe they're in... they're in...you should, John, if we're ins...
-I don't know, George, why?
-What?
-That they're going to be upset.
-Shelly: get in the office.
-...Come in here...I work here, I don't come in here to be mistreated...
-Go to lunch, will you...
-I want to work today, that's why I came...
-The leads come in, I'll let...
-...that's why I came in. I thought I...
-Just go to lunch.
-I don't want to go to lunch.
-Go to lunch, George.
-Where does he get off to talk that way to a working man? It's not...
-Will you take it outside, we have people trying to do business here...
-That's what, that's what, that's what I was trying to do. That's why I came in...I meet gestapo tac...
-I meet gestapo tactics...I meet gestapo tactics...That's not right... No man has the right to..."Call an attorney," that means you're guilt... you're under sus..."Co...," he says, "cooperate" or we'll go downtown. That's not...as long as I've...
-Mmm.
-Williamson...Williamson, they stole the contracts...?
-Excuse me, sir...
-Excuse me, fella.
-...did they...
-Would you excuse us, please...?
-Oh, fuck. Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK! WILLIAMSON!!! WILLIAMSON!!! OPEN THE FUCKING...WILLIAMSON...
-Who told you...?
-Who told me wh...? You've got a fuckin', you've...a...who is this...? You've got a board-up on the window...Moss told me.
-Moss...Who told him?
-And I don't want any fucking shit and I don't give a shit, Lingk puts me over the top, you filed it, that's fine, any other shit kicks out you go back. You...you reclose it, 'cause I closed it and you...you owe me the car.
-Fuck insured. You owe me a car.
-Please don't leave. I'm going to talk to you. What's your name?
-Aaronow...
-Listen to me, the statute, it's for your protection. I have no complaints with that, in fact, I was a member of the board when we drafted it, so quite the opposite. It says that you can change your mind three working days from the time the deal is closed.
-Levene!
-Which, wait a second, which is not until the check is cashed.
-Roma! I'm talking to you...
-I've...look. Will someone get this guy off my back.
-You have a problem?
-Roma, would you, I'd like to get some lunch...
-I'm talking with Mr. Lingk. If you please, I'll be back in. I'll be back in a while...I told you, check with Mr. Williamson.
-The people downtown said...
-You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson...I'm talking to you, shithead...You just cost me six thousand dollars. Six thousand dollars. And one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you goin to do about it, asshole. You fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade. You stupid fucking cunt. You idiot. Whoever told you you could work with men?
-Could I...
-I'm going to have your job, shithead. I'm going downtown and talk to Mitch and Murrray, and I'm going to Lemkin. I don't care whose nephew you are, who you know, whose dick you're sucking on. You're going out, I swear to you, you're going...
-Hey, fella, let's get this done...
-Mr. Levene...?
-You're done, come down, and let's...
-Would you come in here, please?
-Mr. Levene, I think we have to talk.
-Hey, hey, hey, easy friend. That's the "Machine." That is Shelly "The Machine" Lev...
-John...John...John. Okay. John. John. Look: The Glengarry Highland's leads, you're sending Roma out. Fine. He's a good man. We know what he is. He's fine. All I'm saying, you look at the board, he's throwing...wait, wait, wait, he's throwing them away, he's throwing the leads away. All that I'm saying, that you're wasting leads. I don't want to tell you your job. All that
-Shelly, you blew the last...
-No. John. No. Let's wait, let's back up here, I did...will you please? Wait a second. Please. I didn't "blow" them. No. I didn't "blow" them. No. One kicked out, one I closed...
-...you didn't close...
-Shelly...
-...and what is that, John? What? Bad luck. That's all it is. I pray in your life you will never find it runs in streaks. That's what it does, that's all it's doing. Streaks. I pray it misses you. That's all I want to say.
-What about the other two?
-What two?
-Four. You had four leads. One kicked out, one the judge, you say...
-...you want to see the court records? John? Eh? You want to go down...
-...no...
-...do you want to go downtown...?
-...no...
-...then...
-...I only...
-...then what is this "you say" shit, what is that? What is that...?
-What is this "you say"? A deal kicks out...I got to eat. Shit, Williamson, shit. You...Moss... Roma...look at the sheets...look at the sheets. Nineteen eighty, eighty-one...eighty-two...six months of eighty-two...who's there? Who's up there?
-Roma.
-Under him?
-Moss.
-Bullshit. John. Bullshit. April, September 1981. It's me. It isn't fucking Moss. Due respect, he's an order taker, John. He talks, he talks a good game, look at the board, and it's me, John, it's me...
-Not lately it isn't.
-Lately kiss my ass lately. That isn't how you build an org...talk, talk to Murray. Talk to Mitch. When we were on Peterson, who paid for his fucking car? You talk to him. The Seville...? He came in, "You bought that for me Shelly." Out of what? Cold calling. Nothing. Sixty-five, when we were there, with Glen Ross Farms? You call 'em downtown. What
-...it isn't you...? Who is it? Who is this I'm talking to? I need the leads...
-...after the thirtieth...
-Bullshit the thirtieth, I don't get on the board the thirtieth, they're going to can my ass. I need the leads. I need them now. Or I'm gone, and you're going to miss me, John, I swear to you.
-Murray...
-...you talk to Murray...
-I have. And my job is to marshal those leads...
-Marshal the leads...marshal the leads? What the fuck, what bus did you get off of, we're here to fucking sell. Fuck marshaling the leads. What the fuck talk is that? What the fuck talk is that? Where did you learn that? In school? That's "talk," my friend, that's "talk." Our job is to sell. I'm the man to sell. I'm getting garbage. You're giving
-You're saying that I'm fucked.
-Yes. I am. I'm sorry to antagonize you.
-...and I'm going to get bounced and you're...
-...let me...are you listening to me...?
-Yes.
-Let me tell you something, Shelly. I do what I'm hired to do. I'm...wait a second. I'm hired to watch the leads. I'm given...hold on, I'm given a policy. My job is to do that. What I'm told. That's it. You, wait a second, anybody falls below a certain mark I'm not permitted to give them the premium leads.
-Then how do they come up above that mark? With dreck...? That's nonsense. Explain this to me. 'Cause it's a waste, and it's a stupid waste. I want to tell you something...
-You know what those leads cost?
-The premium leads. Yes. I know what they cost. John. Because I, I generated the dollar revenue sufficient to buy them. Nineteen senny-nine, you know what I made? Senny-nine? Ninety-six thousand dollars. John? For Murray... For Mitch...look at the sheets...
-Murray said...
-Money. A fortune. Money lying on the ground. Murray? When was the last time he went out on a sit? Sales contest? It's laughable. It's cold out there now, John. It's tight. Money is tight. This ain't sixty-five. It ain't. It just ain't. See? See? Now, I'm a good man--but I need a...
-Murray said...
-John. John...
-Will you please wait a second. Shelly. Please. Murray told me: the hot leads...
-...ah, fuck this...
-The...Shelly? The hot leads are assigned according to the board. During the contest. Period. Anyone who beats fifty per...
-That's fucked. That's fucked. You don't look at the fucking percentage. You look at the gross.
-Either way. You're out.
-I'm out.
-Yes.
-I've seen those leads. I saw them when I was at Homestead, we pitched those cocksuckers Rio Rancho nineteen sixty-nine they wouldn't buy. They couldn't buy a fucking toaster. They're broke, John. They're cold. They're deadbeats, you can't judge on that. Even so. Even so. Alright. Fine. Fine. Even so. I go in, FOUR FUCKING LEADS they got their money in a sock. They're
-...they kicked out.
-Why?
-The leads are assigned randomly...
-Bullshit, bullshit, you assign them... What are you telling me?
-...apart from the top men on the contest board.
-Then put me on the board.
-You start closing again, you'll be on the board.
-I can't close these leads, John. No one can. It's a joke. John, look, just give me a hot lead. Just give me two of the premium leads. As a "test," alright? As a "test" and I promise you...
-Of what?
-And what if you don't close.
-I will close.
-I will close.
-What if you don't? Then I'm fucked. You see...? Then it's my job. That's what I'm telling you.
-I will close. John, John, ten percent. I can get hot. You know that...
-Not lately you can't...
-Fuck that. That's defeatist. Fuck that. Fuck it...Get on my side. Go with me. Let's do something. You want to run this office, run it.
-Alright.
-And fifty bucks a lead.
-What are we going to say?
-No. You're right. That's for later. We'll talk in a month. What have you got? I want two sits. Tonight.
-I'm not sure I have two.
-I saw the board. You've got four...
-I've got Roma. Then I've got Moss...
-Bullshit. They ain't been in the office yet. Give 'em some stiff. We have a deal or not? Eh? Two sits. The Des Plaines. Both of 'em, six and ten, you can do it...six and ten...eight and eleven, I don't give a shit, you set 'em up? Alright? The two sits in Des Plaines.
-Alright.
-Now? Now?
-I wish I could.
-You fucking asshole. I haven't got it. I haven't got it, John. I'll pay you tomorrow. I'm coming in here with the sales, I'll pay you tomorrow. I haven't got it, when I pay, the gas...I get back the hotel, I'll bring it in tomorrow.
-Can't do it.
-I'll give you thirty on them now, I'll bring the rest tomorrow. I've got it at the hotel. John? We do that, for chrissake?
-No.
-I'm asking you. As a favor to me? John. John: my daughter...
-Well, I want to tell you something, fella, wasn't long I could pick up the phone, call Murray and I'd have your job. You know that? Not too long ago. For what? For nothing. "Mur, this new kid burns my ass." "Shelly, he's out." You're gone before I'm back from lunch. I bought him a trip to Bermuda once...
-Wait. Alright. Fine. The one. Give me the lead. Give me the one lead. The best one you have.
-Why?
-Because I say so.
-You want to do business that way...? Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. What is there on the other list...?
-You want something off the B list?
-Is that what you're saying?
-That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I'd like something off the other list. Which, very least, that I'm entitled to. If I'm still working here, which for the moment I guess that I am. What? I'm sorry I spoke harshly to you.
-That's alright.
-What happened?
-Ah, fuck. Leads! Leads! Williamson! Send me out! Send me out!
-The leads are coming.
-Get 'em to me!
-I talked to Murray and Mitch an hour ago. They're coming in, you understand they're a bit upset over this morning's...
-How could I tell 'em your sale? Eh? I don't have a tel...I'll tell 'em your sale when they bring in the leads. Alright? Shelly. Alright? We had a little... You closed a deal. You made a good sale. Fine.
-It's better than a good sale. It's a...
-Look: I have a lot of things on my mind, they're coming in, alright, they're very upset, I'm trying to make some sense...
-All that I'm telling you: that one thing you can tell them it's a remarkable sale.
-The only thing remarkable is who you made it to.
-What does that fucking mean?
-That if the sale sticks, it will be a miracle.
-Why should the sale not stick? Hey, fuck you. That's what I'm saying. You have no idea of your job. A man's his job and you're fucked at yours. You hear what I'm saying to you? Your "end of month board..." You can't run an office. I don't care. You don't know what it is, you don't have the sense, you don't have the
-Would you? Would you...? Or you're gonna what, fire me?
-It's not impossible.
-Mmm.
-You can't think on your feet you should keep your mouth closed. You hear me? I'm talking to you. Do you hear me...?
-Yes. I hear you.
-You can't learn that in an office. Eh? He's right. You have to learn it on the streets. You can't buy that. You have to live it.
-Mmm.
-You are?
-Yes, I am.
-What are you trying to tell me?
-What Roma's trying to tell you. What I told you yesterday. Why you don't belong in this business.
-Why I don't...
-You listen to me, someday you might say, "Hey..." No, fuck that, you just listen what I'm going to say: your partner depends on you. Your partner...a man who's your "partner" depends on you...you have to go with him and for him...or you're shit, you're shit, you can't exist alone...
-Excuse me...
-How do you know I made it up?
-What?
-How do you know I made it up?
-What are you talking about?
-You said, "You don't make something up unless it's sure to help." How did you know that I made it up?
-What are you talking about?
-I told the customer that his contracts had gone to the bank.
-Well, hadn't it?
-No. It hadn't.
-Well, I'm saying this, Shel: usually I take the contracts to the bank. Last night I didn't. How did you know that? One night in a year I left a contract on my desk. Nobody knew that but you. Now how did you know that? You want to talk to me, you want to talk to someone else...because this is my job. This is
-You're so full of shit.
-You robbed the office.
-Sure! I robbed the office. Sure.
-What'd you do with the leads? You want to go in there? I tell him what I know, he's going to dig up something...You got an alibi last night? You better have one. What did you do with the leads? If you tell me what you did with the leads, we can talk.
-I don't know what you are saying.
-If you tell me where the leads are, I won't turn you in. If you don't, I am going to tell the cop you stole them, Mitch and Murray will see that you go to jail. Believe me they will. Now, what did you do with the leads? I'm walking in that door--you have five seconds to tell me: or you are going to
-I sold them to Jerry Graff.
-How much did you get for them? How much did you get for them?
-Five thousand. I kept half.
-Do I have to tell you? Moss.
-It was his idea.
-Was it?
-I...I'm sure he got more than the five, actually.
-Uh-huh?
-He told me my share was twenty-five.
-Okay: I...look: I'm going to make it worth your while. I am. I turned this thing around. I closed the old stuff, I can do it again. I'm the one's going to close 'em. I am! I am! 'Cause I turned this thing a...I can do that, I can do anyth...last night. I'm going to tell you, I was ready to Do the Dutch.
-What?
-Wait...uh, look... Look, twelve, twenty, two, twen... twenty-five hundred, it's...take it. Take it all... Take it!
-No, I don't think so, Shel.
-I...
-No, I think I don't want your money. I think you fucked up my office. And I think you're going away.
-I...what? Are you, are you, that's why...? Are you nuts? I'm...I'm going to close for you, I'm going to... Here, here, I'm going to make this office...I'm going to be back there Number One...Hey, hey, hey! This is only the beginning...List...list... listen. Listen. Just one moment. List...here's what...here's what we're going to do. Twenty percent. I'm going to give you twenty percent of my
-What sales...? I just closed eighty-two grand...Are you fuckin'...I'm back...I'm back, this is only the beginning.
-Only the beginning...
-Abso...
-Where have you been, Shelly? Bruce and Harriet Nyborg. Do you want to see the memos...? They're nuts... they used to call in every week. When I was with Webb. And we were selling Arizona...they're nuts...did you see how they were living? How can you delude yours...
-I've got the check...
-The check's no good?
-You stick around I'll pull the memo for you. I'm busy now...
-Their check's no good? They're nuts...?
-Call up the bank. I called them.
-Don't.
-I'm sorry.
-Why?
-Because I don't like you.
-John: John:...my daughter...
-You did that?
-Those fuckin' deadbeats...
-My ass. I told 'em. Listen to this: I said...
-Give me some leads. I'm going out... I'm getting out of...
-"...you have to believe in yourself..."
-Na, fuck the leads, I'm going home.
-Hey, they're fuckin' garbage any case...This whole goddamn...
-"...You look around, you say, 'This one has so-and-so, and I have nothing..."
-Shit.
-"'Why? Why don't I get the opportunities...?"
-...the fuck is that supposed to mean...?
-"You do get the..." Huh? Huh?
-Fuck is that supposed to mean?
-"You do get the opportunity...You get them. As I do, as anyone does..."
-I got 'em in the kitchen. I'm eating her crumb cake.
-Rick. Let me tell you. Wait, we're in the...
-Dave...
-Get the chalk. Get the chalk...get the chalk! I closed 'em! I closed the cocksucker. Get the chalk and put me on the board. I'm going to Hawaii! Put me on the Cadillac board, Williamson! Pick up the fuckin' chalk. Eight units. Mountain View...
-You sold eight Mountain View?
-Eight units?
-That's right.
-Shelly...!
-Williamson, get on the phone, call Mitch...
-They took the phones...
-When?
-They took the leads?
-Just now.
-Fuck you, Dave...
-Fuck you care...?
-How was it...?
-From the store.
-Fuck her...
-"What we have to do is admit to ourself that we see that opportunity...and take it. And that's it." And we sit there. I got the pen out...
-"Always be closing..."
-That's what I'm saying. The old ways. The old ways...convert the motherfucker...sell him...sell him... make him sign the check. The...Bruce, Harriet...the kitchen, blah: they got their money in government bonds...I say fuck it, we're going to go the whole route. I plat it out eight units. Eighty- two grand. I tell them. "This is now. This is that thing that you've been dreaming of,
-Harriett...
-The only arrangement I'll accept is full investment. Period. The whole eight units. I know that you're saying 'be safe,' I know what you're saying. I know if I left you to yourselves, you'd say 'come back tomorrow,' and when I walked out that door, you'd make a cup of coffee...you'd sit down...and you'd think 'let's be safe...' and not to disappoint me you'd
-Like you taught me...
-You closed 'em today?
-Yes. I did. This morning. What I'm saying to you: things can change. You see? This is where you fuck up, because this is something you don't know. You can't look down the road. And see what's coming. Might be someone else, John. It might be someone new, eh? Someone new. And you can't look back. 'Cause you don't know history. You ask them.
-...yes...
-...and you don't remember. 'Cause you weren't around. That's cold calling. Walk up to the door. I don't even know their name. I'm selling something they don't even want. You talk about soft sell... before we had a name for it...before we called it anything, we did it.
-And, and, and, I did it. And I put a kid through school. She...and...Cold calling, fella. Door to door. But you don't know. You don't know. You never heard of a streak. You never heard of "marshaling your sales force..." What are you, you're a secretary, John. Fuck you. That's my message for you. Fuck you and kiss my ass. You don't like it,
-Oh, Christ.
-The hell with him. We'll go to lunch, the leads won't be up for...
-You're a client. I just sold you five waterfront Glengarry Farms. I rub my head, throw me the cue "Kenilworth."
-What is it?
-I own the property, my mother owns the property, I put her into it. I'm going to show you on the plats. You look when you get home A-3 through A-14 and 26 through 30. You take your time and if you still feel.
-Glad to meet you.
-I just put Jim into Black Creek...are you acquainted with...
-No...Black Creek. Yes. In Florida?
-Yes.
-I wanted to speak with you about...
-Well, we'll do that this weekend.
-My wife told me to look into...
-Mr. Morton's with American Express... he's... I can tell Jim what you do...?
-Sure.
-Ray is director of all European sales and services for American Ex... But I'm saying you haven't had a meal until you've tasted...I was at the Lingks' last...as a matter of fact, what was that service feature you were talking about...?
-Which...
-"Home Cooking"...what did you call it, you said it...it was a tag phrase that you had,,,
-Uh...
-Home...
-Home cooking...
-The monthly interview...?
-Oh! For the magazine...
-Yes. Is this something that I can talk ab...
-You're sure?
-Go ahead.
-Well, Ray was eating at one of his company's men's home in France...the man's French, isn't he?
-No, his wife is.
-Ah. Ah, his wife is. Ray: what time do you have...?
-Twelve-fifteen.
-Oh! My God...I've got to get you on the plane!
-Didn't I say I was taking the two o'...
-No. You said the one. That's why you said we couldn't talk till Kenilworth.
-What?
-Kenilworth...?
-I'm sorry...?
-Kenilworth.
-Rick...?
-Rick...?
-Rick...
-I've wanted to talk to you for some time. For a long time, actually. I said, "The Machine, there's a man I would work with. There's a man..." You know? I never said a thing. I should have, don't know why I didn't. And that shit you were slinging on my guy today was so good...it...it was, and, excuse me, 'cause it isn't even
-Me.
-Yeah.
-Mm.
-Well, you want to swing by the Chinks, watch me eat, we'll talk?
-Ricky, I...
-Okay, okay, I'll be at the resta...
-...all train compartments smell vaguely of shit. It gets so you don't mind it. That's the worst thing that I can confess. You know how long it took me to get there? A long time. When you die you're going to regret the things you don't do. You think you're queer...? I'm going to tell you something: we're all queer. You think that you're
-Did I...?
-Yes.
-Or a piss...? A great meal fades in reflection. Everything else gains. You know why? 'Cause it's only food. This shit we eat, it keeps us going. But it's only food. The great fucks that you may have had. What do you remember about them?
-What do I...?
-Yes.
-Mmmm...
-Money? If that's what it signifies to you. Security? Comfort? All it is is THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO YOU. That's all it is. How are they different? Some poor newly married guy gets run down by a cab. Some busboy wins the lottery. All it is, it's a carnival. What's special...what draws us? We're all different. We're not the same. We are not the
-Gimlet.
-Well, let's have a couple more. My name is Richard Roma, what's yours?
-Lingk. James Lingk.
-I've got to talk to you.
-I've got to talk to you...
-It's funny, you know, you get a picture of the Corporation-Type Company Man, all business...this man, no. We'll go out to his home sometime. Let's see. Tomorrow. No. Tomorrow, I'm in L.A....Monday...I'll take you to lunch, where would you like to go?
-My wife said I have to cancel the deal.
-Monday.
-She called the consumer...the attorney, I don't know. The attorney gen...they said we have three days...
-Who did she call?
-I don't know, the attorney gen... the...some consumer office, um...
-I don't know. They said we have three days. They said we have three days.
-Three days.
-No, I don't know. Tell me.
-To change our minds.
-Jim, Jim, you saw my book...I can't, you saw my book...
-But we have to before Monday. To get our money ba...
-Three business days. They mean three business days.
-Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
-I don't understand.
-You don't count Saturday.
-I'm not.
-No, I'm saying you don't include Saturday...in your three days. It's not a business day.
-But I'm not counting it. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. So it would have elapsed.
-What would have elapsed?
-If we wait till Mon...
-When did you write the check?
-Yest...
-What was yesterday?
-Tuesday.
-And when was that check cashed?
-I don't know.
-Today. Today. Which, in any case, it was not, as there were a couple of points on the agreement I wanted to go over with you in any case.
-The check wasn't cashed?
-I'm very sorry, Jimmy. I apologize to you.
-It's not me, it's my wife.
-What is?
-I told you.
-What's going on here?
-Tell me again. Your wife.
-I told you.
-You tell me again.
-She wants her money back.
-We're going to speak to her.
-No. She told me "right now."
-We'll speak to her, Jim...
-No, no. That's just something she "said." We don't have to do that.
-She told me I have to.
-No, Jim.
-I'm...
-Where are you going...? This is me...This is Ricky, Jim. Jim, anything you want, you want it, you have it. You understand? This is me. Something upset you. Sit down, now sit down. You tell me what it is. Am I going to help you fix it? You're goddamned right I am. Sit down. Tell you something...? Sometimes we need someone from outside. It's...no,
-I can't regotiate.
-What does that mean?
-...what, what, say it. Say it to me...
-I...
-What...?
-I...
-What...? Say the words.
-I don't have the power. I said it.
-What power?
-The power to negotiate.
-To negotiate what? To negotiate what?
-This.
-The deal.
-The "deal," forget the deal. Forget the deal, you've got something on your mind, Jim, what is it?
-What? What? What, Jim: I tell you what, let's get out of here...let's go get a drink.
-She told me not to talk to you.
-Let's...no one's going to know, let's go around the corner and we'll get a drink.
-She told me I had to get back the check or call the State's att...
-What?
-And the check is...
-What are the police doing?
-It's nothing.
-You cashed the check?
-Fuckin' asshole.
-What, they beat you with a rubber bat?
-Cop couldn't find his dick two hands and a map. Anyone talks to this guy's an asshole...
-You going to turn State's?
-Guess what the Machine did?
-Fuck the Machine.
-Mountain View. Eight units.
-Fuckin' cop's got no right talk to me that way. I didn't rob the place...
-You hear what I said?
-Yeah. He closed a deal.
-Eight units. Mountain View.
-Fuck you.
-Guess who?
-You just this morning...
-We haven't got a lead...
-Why not?
-It means, Dave, you haven't closed a good one in a month, none of my business, you want to push me to answer you. And so you haven't got a contract to get stolen or so forth.
-Bring that shit up. Of my volume. You were on a bad one and I brought it up to you you'd harbor it. You'd harbor it a long long while. And you'd be right.
-Who said "Fuck the Machine"?
-Is that what I did? Dave? I humiliated you? My God...I'm sorry...
-Sittin' on top of the world, sittin' on top of the world, everything's fucking peachfuzz...
-I'll show you how to chew it." Your pal closes, all that comes out of your mouth is bile, how fucked up you are...
-Who's my pal...? And what are you, Ricky, huh, what are you, Bishop Sheean? Who the fuck are you, Mr. Slick...? What are you, friend to the workingman? Big deal. Fuck you, you got the memory a fuckin' fly. I never liked you.
-What is this, your farewell speech?
-I'm going home.
-Your farewell to the troops?
-I'm not going home. I'm going to Wisconsin.
-Have a good trip.
-They didn't get your contract. I filed it before I left.
-They didn't get my contracts.
-They didn't get the contracts.
-Did they...
-They got, listen to me...
-Listen to me: They got some of them.
-They took some of the con...
-...some of the contracts...Lingk. James Lingk. I closed...
-You closed him yesterday.
-Yes.
-It went down. I filed it.
-You did?
-Yes.
-Then I'm over the fucking top and you owe me a Cadillac.
-Where are you going?
-To the restaura...what do you fucking...?
-Aren't you going out today?
-With what? With what, John, they took the leads...
-I have the stuff from last year's...
-...you want to go out today...?
-Patel? Ravidam Patel? How am I going to make a living on thses deadbeat wogs? Where did you get this, from the morgue?
-If you don't want it, give it back.
-I don't "want" it, if you catch my drift.
-I'm giving you three leads. You...
-What's the fucking point in any case...? What's the point. I got to argue with you, I got to knock heads with the cops, I'm busting my balls, sell you dirt to fucking deadbeats money in the mattress, I come back you can't even manage to keep the contracts safe, I have to go back and close them again...What the fuck am I wasting
-The word from Murray is: leave them alone. If we need a new signature he'll go out himself, he'll be the president, just come in, from out of town...
-Three? I count two.
-Three.
-Yes.
-Mr. Lingk and I are going to...
-We had a slight burglary last night.
-It was nothing...I was assuring Mr. Lingk...
-Mr. Lingk. James Lingk. Your contract went out. Nothing to...
-John...
-...Mr. Williamson...
-...I wouldn't worry about it.
-Are you alright?
-Yes.
-Did you like your party?
-I got lots of presents.
-Do you like them?
-I didn't know the people who gave them to me.
-Did you see my present for you?
-No, where is it?
-On your pillow.
-I'm leaving very early tomorrow, before you wake up.
-I know. How long will you be gone?
-Just a few days.
-Will you take me?
-I can't.
-Why do you have to go?
-To do business.
-I can help you.
-You've grown so tall... so tall in the last year. You're much taller than me.
-I was taller than you when I was fourteen.
-Sit down. Your Aunt Connie and I waited for you to have some lunch, but now it's all dried out.
-I'm not hungry.
-Mr. Cicci. From the year 1927 to the present time, you were an employee of the &quot;Genco Olive Oil Company.&quot;
-That's right.
-But in actuality, you were a member of the Corleone Crime organization.
-The Corleone Family, Senator. We called it, &quot;The Family.&quot;
-What position did you occupy?
-I have a friend who has a fine rug. Maybe your wife would like it.
-We have no money for a rug.
-Your friend lives in a fine building.
-They say Fanucci has a license from Maranzalla himself to work this neighborhood.
-Fanucci is not connected; he is alone.
-What? You read it in the papers?
-Who is the greatest man you can think of?
-What took so long?
-Do you think he'd be satisfied with the two hundred dollars? I think he would.
-That scar-faced bastard will find out what we got from the wholesaler. He won't take a dime less than three hundred dollars.
-What if we don't pay?
-You know his friends...real animals. And his connections with the police. Sure he'd like us to tell him our plans so he can set us up for the cops and earn their gratitude. Then they would owe him a favor; that's how he operates. We'll have to pay. Three hundred, are we agreed?
-Vitone! Our driver has drunk too much wine.
-He's going to kill Fanucci.
-Constanzia. We expected you last week; we sent the car to pick you up at the airport last week.
-I know, it was chaos; but anyway, here I am one week late. This is for my Mama. You remember Merle?
-Yes, thank you.
-How are the kids?
-Well, thank you, they asked for you all week.
-I got surprises for everybody!
-Bought at the airport.
-This is swell. Where's Michael? I've got things to get straight with him and I can't wait on line.
-It means we should all live happily for one hundred years. The family. If my Father were alive, it'd be true.
-Connie.
-How are you, honey? You've met Merle, haven't you. He was with me in Vegas.
-I saw him with you.
-We're going to Europe next week. I want to get passage booked on the Queen.
-The ink on your divorce isn't dry. Your children see you on weekends; your oldest boy, Michael Francis... was in some trouble with the Reno police over some petty theft that you don't even know about.
-Michael...
-You fly around the world with lazy young men who don't have any love for you, and use you like a whore.
-You're not my father!
-Then why do you come to me?
-Because I need MONEY!
-Connie, I want to be reasonable with you. You have a house here, with us. You can live here with your kids...and you won't be deprived of anything. I don't know much about Merle; I don't know what he does for a living; what he lives on. Why don't you tell him marriage is really out of the question; and that you can't see
-Is Kay coming?
-No.
-Michael, Fredo's in the house with Mama. He asked for you, and Tom said he couldn't see you.
-Tom is right.
-I want to talk to you, Michael.
-The children can stay.
-Honey! Wait a minute; let's go for a drive.
-I just had a drive; besides, I want to see my brother-in-law Michael.
-Goddamn bitch.
-Listen, Michael's got a lot of nice people here. Friends of Kay's. He'll never forgive me if you ruin his party.
-I hate to see you cringe in front of him. How come you're so scared of your own kid brother?
-What's 'cent' Anne?'
-I wanta dance...whatsa matter with that?
-Dancing is alright; you're falling on the floor.
-Whatsamatter, you don't want me to dance with him 'cause he's a man!
-Deanna, I'm going to belt you right in the mouth!
-Deanna, will you get back into the house!
-I don't want to stay here...
-Would you like some?
-No, Dad.
-Now what is this talk about joining the army? Eh?
-It's not talk; I'm doing it.
-You would risk your life for strangers?
-Not for strangers; for my country.
-Anyone not in your family, is a stranger. Believe me, when trouble comes, your country won't take care of you.
-That's how it was in the old world, Pop, but this is not Sicily.
-Don Francesco. You murdered my husband, because he would not bend. And his oldest son Paolo, because he swore revenge. But Vitone is only nine, and dumb-witted. He never speaks.
-I'm not afraid of his words.
-He is weak.
-He will grow strong.
-The child cannot harm you.
-Otherwise the police will come to see you and your wife and children will be dishonored and destitute. Of course, if my information as to your gains is incorrect, I'll dip my beak just a little. Just a little, but no less than one hundred dollars, and don't try to deceive me, eh paisan?
-My two friends have my share of the money. I'll have to speak to them after we deliver these to the wholesaler.
-You tell your friends I expect them to let me wet my beak in the same manner. Don't be afraid to tell them. Clemenza and I know each other well, he understands these things. Let yourself be guided by him. He has more experience in these matters.
-You must understand, this is all new to me...
-I understand...
-But thank you for speaking to me as a Godfather.
-I think there's only two hundred dollars under my hat. I'm right. Only two hundred dollars.
-I'm a little short. I've been out of work. Let me owe you the money for a few weeks.
-Ten to one shot, you said. Ten to one shot in my favor, and I lose.
-Get a good night's sleep. We got a new suit, new shirt, new tie, and I'm going to shave you myself. Tomorrow we want you to look respectable for fifty million of your fellow Americans.
-My life won't be worth a nickel after tomorrow.
-We have a special home for you for the rest of your life. Nobody gets near you. You're not going any place.
-Why'd you do it, Frankie? After all these years, why'd you turn against him?
-Ready, Frankie.
-Who's that? Pentangeli? Frankie &quot;Five-Angels&quot;...thought you were never coming West.
-Gee, Frankie, it's good to see you. Reminds me of old times.
-You remember Willy Cicci, don't you, Freddie? We was all together with the old man Clemenza in Brooklyn... before...uh...
-We were all upset about that.
-That's what I'm here to talk to your brother about. What's with him, I got to get a letter of introduction to have a 'sitdown'?
-Hey Mike, what can I say?
-Hiya, Freddie Corleone.
-Oh, 'scuse me.
-It's all right. He stays with me all the time.
-Oh. Mikey, what's up? I'm totally in the dark.
-We're making an investment in Havana.
-Great, Havana's great. Lots of activity in Havana! Anybody I know here. Five-Angels? Anybody?
-Johnny Ola... Hyman Roth.
-I never met them.
-Pentangeli's dead. He was ambushed by the Rosato Brothers. Didn't you know that?
-No. No, I didn't. Who tells me anything? I been kept in the dark so long, I'm getting used to it.
-I want you to help me, Fredo.
-That's what I'm here for.
-Tonight I want to relax with you. The Senator from Nevada is here with some people from Washington. I want to show them a good time in Havana.
-Count on me; that's my specialty.
-I'd like to come along. There's been a lot of strain, and I've been cooped up in this room for three days.
-Jeeze, it's great you came along, Mike... You know, we've never spent a night out on the town together. I always thought you looked down on me for liking a good time.
-Mike, I got something special up my sleeve for these boys. You ever hear of &quot;Superman?&quot; And I don't mean the comic book.
-No.
-Mikey, why would they ever hit poor old Frankie Five-Angels? I loved that ole sonuvabitch. I remember when he was just a 'button,' when we were kids. We used to put bedsheets on our heads, you know, like we were ghosts. An' ole Frankie come peek into our room, we'd jump up, and he'd always pretend like he was really scared. You remember?
-It was hard to have him killed.
-You? What do you mean you, I thought...
-It was hard to have him killed.
-You? What do you mean you, I thought...
-It was Frankie tried to have me hit.
-No. I mean, are you sure?
-You know otherwise, Freddie?
-How is your wife, Fredo...your marriage?
-&quot;Yo soy un hombre sincero...&quot; I am a sincere man, From the land of the palms...
-What's that?
-The song. Are you sincere with me, Fredo?
-Sincere. What are you talking about, of course I'm sincere with you, Mike.
-Then I'm going to confide in you; trust you with something.
-Mike, are you crazy, I'm your brother.
-Tonight we've been invited to a reception at the Presidential Palace; to bring in the New Year. You and I will go in a special car that's being sent. They'll have cocktails... then dinner, and a reception with the President. When it's over, it will be suggested that you take Questadt and his friends from Washington to spend the night with some women. I'll
-...Who?
-The same man who tried in Nevada... Hyman Roth, not Pentangeli.
-But, you told me yourself...
-It was never Pentangeli... I've always known that. It was Roth all along. He talks to me as a son; as his successor, but the old man thinks he'll live forever.
-What do you want me to do?
-To go tonight, with me, as though we know nothing. I've already made my move.
-What is it? Can I help?
-Fredo. Where are you going?
-I don't have a lot to say, Michael.
-We have time.
-I was kept pretty much in the dark. I didn't know all that much.
-What about now, is there anything you can help me out with?
-I didn't know it was a hit. I swear to you I didn't know. Johnny Ola contacted me in Beverly Hills -- said he wanted to talk. He said you and Roth were in on some big deal, and there was a place for me in it if I could help them out. They said you were being tough on the negotiation, and if
-And you believed that story.
-He said there was something good in it for me...me on my own.
-I've always taken care of you.
-Taken care of me. Mike, you're my kid brother, and you take care of my. Did you ever think of that. Ever once? Send Fredo off to do this, send Fredo to take care of that... take care of some little unimportant night club here, and there; pick somebody up at the airport. Mike, I'm your older brother; I was stepped over!
-It's the way Pop wanted it.
-It wasn't the way I wanted it! I can handle things. I'm not dumb Christ, not like everyone says. I'm smart; and I want respect.
-There's nothing more you can tell me about this investigation?
-The lawyer; Questadt, he belongs to Roth.
-I know what you are thinking, Vitone, but you don't understand yet how things are. Fanucci is of the Black Hand. Everyone in the neighborhood pays him, even my father.
-He's an Italian?
-Why? Why does he bother other Italians?
-Because he knows them; he knows they have no one to protect them. Vitone? What do you think of my angel?
-Beautiful.
-Beautiful.
-For you, she is beautiful. For me, there is only my wife!
-I bet you can't guess what happened?
-What?
-Some guys from Ninth Avenue jumped Fanucci today; slit his throat from ear to ear.
-No, I didn't know. Is he dead?
-Nah. Those guys aren't murderers. They wanted to scare him, that's all. Make him look bad.
-In Sicily, when you attack a man, you had better finish him.
-I wish they had. He takes fifty dollars a week from my father's cash drawer. But you can't kill a man like Fanucci.
-Why?
-What did I tell you. The one who cut him was found in an alley. And the family of the others paid Fanucci all their savings to make him forswear his vengeance.
-And he agreed?
-The 'patrone' is here.
-Chi?
-It's Michael's request...for your safety. We can send out for anything you need.
-I'm supposed to stay in my house.
-Within the compound will be fine.
-I was supposed to take the children to New England next week.
-That's off now.
-I'm going to see my parents.
-Kay, Michael didn't tell me a lot; and what he did tell me, I can't repeat. But the responsibility for you and the kids was the most important thing he left me with.
-How long does this go on?
-I don't know. I'm sorry, Kay...
-Am I a prisoner?
-... He said he had shot his Grandfather with a gun, and then he died in the garden. And he asked me... he asked me, Tom, if that meant now his father would shoot him out of... revenge. How does a four year old boy learn the word... 'revenge'?
-Kay... Kay...
-What kind of a family is this... are we human beings? He knows his Father killed his Uncle Carlo. He heard Connie.
-You don't know that's true. But Kay, just for the sake of an argument, let's assume it is, I'm not saying it is, remember, but... What if I gave you what might be some justification for what he did... or rather some possible justification for what he possibly did.
-That's the first time I've seen the lawyer side of you, Tom. It's not your best side.
-Okay, just hear me out. What if Carlo had been paid to help get Sonny killed? What if his beating of Connie that time was a deliberate plot to get Sonny out into the open? Then what? And what if the Don, a great man, couldn't bring himself to do what he had to do, avenge his son's death by killing his daughter's husband?
-He's not the same as when I met him.
-If he were, he'd be dead by now. You'd be a widow. You'd have no problem.
-If you told Michael what I've told you today, I'm a dead man.
-When is it finally over? I want it to be over before my baby is born.
-Where's my wife?
-He doesn't want my help any more. He doesn't need it.
-We don't know that's true, he never said that.
-Just now when Johnny Ola showed up, he asked me to leave them alone. Ola is Hyman Roth's Sicilian contact. I was on the inside of ten, twenty meetings with him. But today Mike asked me to leave, like an outsider.
-Talk to him. Tell him how you feel.
-Hello?
-What do you mean gone?
-The Barretts from Rubicon Bay came by in a new speedboat. Rocco tried to say she wasn't in, but Kay spotted them and asked if they would take her and the kids for a ride. That was three hours ago.
-Why didn't someone tell me!
-You're going to talk to him now.
-Yes.
-Will you tell him?
-Rocco!
-I know. I went down to the Barrett house. But she's gone. They drove her and the kids to North Tahoe airport.
-Goddamn it, where were you?
-She took a flight to San Francisco. We figure she's going to connect to New Hampshire; her parents' place.
-Me too, Tom?
-I'm sorry; of course, you know that.
-Two-thirty. That gives me time to see my boy.
-Tom isn't going to sit in with us, Johnny. He only handles specific areas of the family business. Tom?
-If you need anything, just...
-There's a lot I can't tell you, Tom. I know that's upset you in the past; and you've felt that it was because of some lack of trust or confidence. But it is because I do trust you that I've kept so much secret from you. It's precisely that at this moment, you are the only one that I can completely trust. In time,
-But your people... Neri... Rocco; you don't think...
-Mikey, I hoped...
-I've prepared this; have had it for over a month. It won't explain everything; but indicates where I will be, so in a sense, it is my life. Also, there are three tasks that must be executed immediately. Pop would have given those to Luca -- You knew Pop as well as anyone, act as though you were him. It discusses Kay as well;
-Will we...be able to get who ordered it out of them?
-I don't think so. Unless I'm very wrong...they're already dead. Killed by someone inside...very frightened that they botched it. That's why I am going to disappear in a few minutes, and leave everything to you.
-But if you're wrong...
-Do you think they have somebody to back up Cicci?
-Did the boy get something from me for Christmas?
-I took care of it.
-What was it, so I'll know.
-Where's my brother?
-Roth got out on a private boat. He's in a hospital in Miami. Had a stroke but he's recovered okay. Bussetta's dead.
-I asked about Fredo?
-The new government arrested him, held him for a couple of days with a lot of the other casino people, including Roth's brother, Sam. The American Embassy arranged flights for citizens; I'm not sure, but I think he's somewhere in New York.
-I want you to reach Fredo. I know he's scared, but have one of our people reach him. Assure him that there will be no reprisals. Tell him that I know Roth misled him.
-My information is that Fredo thought it was a kidnapping. Roth assured him nothing would happen to you.
-They can come in now.
-Wait... there's something else.
-Go on, tell me.
-Was it a boy or a girl?
-Mike, at three and a half...
-What is it, can't you give me straight answers anymore!
-It was a boy.
-And Kay...she's all right?
-She took the Senate Investigation worse.
-Does she blame it on me? The baby?
-How did they get their hands on Pentangeli?
-He says he doesn't know anything, and I believe him. Roth played this one beautifully.
-Sit down, Tom. Have you heard about our friend and partner, Mr. Hyman Roth?
-They won't take him; not for a million, not for ten million.
-His medical condition is reported as... &quot;terminal.&quot;
-He's been dying of the same heart attack for twenty years.
-That plane goes to Miami...
-I want it met.
-Mike, it's impossible. He'll be met by the Internal Revenue; the Customs Service, and half the FBI.
-I don't like it when you use the word impossible; nothing is impossible...
-Mike, it would be like trying to kill the President; there's no way we can get to him.
-I'm surprised at you, Tom. If there's anything certain; certain in life; if history has taught us anything, it's that you can kill... ANYBODY. But perhaps your relucatance is because you've come to tell me that you're moving your family to Vegas, that you've been offered the Vice-Presidency of the Houstan Hotels there. Or weren't you going to tell me at all?
-Are you so hungry for traitors; do you want to find them everywhere?
-They are everywhere!
-I turned Houstan down; I didn't see why I should tell you about an offer I turned down. Are you sure, Mikey? Are you sure of what we're doing; what we'll gain; what does the family gain? Forget that, Mike; I already know the answer.
-I know you do, Tom. Then I can count on you to help me do the things I have to do. If not, call Houstan, and become a Vice-President. Take your family and your mistress and move them to Las Vegas.
-Why do you hurt me, Michael? I've always been loyal to you.
-Good. Then you're staying.
-Fifteen percent skim?
-It might show.
-We've never sent this much with one courier.
-What's up?
-No questions.
-I got to ask questions, Tom, there's three million dollars cash in that pouch; Mike is gone and I have no word from him.
-Al, as far as you're concerned, I'm the Don.
-The High Court of Israel turned down his request to live as a 'returned Jew.' His passport's been invalidated except for return to the U.S. He landed in Buenos Aires yesterday, offered a gift of one million dollars if they would give him citizenship. They turned him down.
-I think I prefer to see my client privately.
-The room has a bug in it.
-Everything is going to be okay, Frankie, don't worry.
-Did my brother go back?
-Yeah, but don't worry.
-He's ten times tougher than me, my brother. He's old-fashioned.
-Yeah. He wouldn't even go out to dinner. Just wanted to go home.
-That's my brother. Nothing could get him away from that two mule town. He coulda been big over here -- he could of had his own Family.
-You're right.
-Frankie, you were always interested in politics, in history. I remember you talking about Hitler back in '43. We were young then.
-Yeah, I still read a lot. They bring me stuff.
-You were around the old timers who dreamed up how the Families should be organized, how they based it on the old Roman Legions, and called them 'Regimes'... with the 'Capos' and 'Soldiers,' and it worked.
-Yeah, it worked. Those were great old days. We was like the Roman Empire. The Corleone family was like the Roman Empire.
-The Roman Empire... when a plot against the Emperor failed, the plotters were always given a chance to let their families keep their fortunes.
-Yeah, but only the rich guys. The little guys got knocked off. If they got arrested and executed, all their estate went to the Emperor. If they just went home and killed themselves, up front, nothing happened.
-Don't worry about anything, Frankie Five-Angels.
-...and the tape will be running.
-What the hell are you talking about?
-We know you're a busy man, with plenty of enemies -- we saw the opportunity to do you a favor, and we did. No strings.
-No strings.
-You know there's a Senate Investigating Committee recently set up; we thought it would be unfortunate if they were to trace anything though-provoking to your name.
-No one can trace anything to me; I pride myself on that.
-Do you gamble?
-A little; what's so thought- provoking about that?
-Do you owe markers?
-There's thirty grand worth of paid off markers -- I never owed that much.
-Our mistake. But what does it matter; it was our money. We don't even expect thanks.
-You paid off thirty grand I never owed.
-We'll keep it quiet; the people who know are trustworthy...the Committee needn't find out.
-And what's the price of their not finding out.
-Simple. Be friendly like us. Not hostile.
-Senator, my client would like to read a statement for the record.
-I don't think that's necessary.
-Sir, my client has answered every question asked by this committee with the utmost cooperation and sincerity. He has not taken that Fifth Amendment as it was his right to do, and which because of the extreme legal complexity of this hearing, counsel advised him to do. So, I think in all fairness this committee should hear his statement and put it in the
-Mr. Hagen, would you kindly identify to this committee that gentleman sitting on your right hand?
-Yes, sir. His name is Vincenzo Pentangeli.
-Is he related to the witness?
-Sir, the gentleman does not understand English. He would not in any case, take the stand. He came, at his own expense, to aid his brother in his trouble. He is not under any jurisdiction of our government and his reputation in his own country is impeccable.
-Senator Kane.
-This meeting is adjourned.
-This committee owes an apology!
-Yes.
-I'm sorry, Mrs. Corleone. We're not to let you through.
-I'm going to the market.
-If you could just give us a list, we'll pick up anything you want.
-Whose orders are these?
-Anthony, Daddy's busy.
-This is my boy, and my wife. Mr. John Ola of Miami.
-I'm sorry, Michael. Senator Geary's here, and Mr. and Mrs. Barrett wanted to thank you before they left. Won't you join us, Mr. Ola?
-Kay.
-How's the baby?
-Sleeping inside me.
-Does it feel like a boy?
-Yes, Michael, it does.
-I'm sorry about some of the people I had to see today. It was bad timing... but it couldn't be helped.
-Leave her alone! You're talking as though she has no right to be frightened when there are machine guns going off in her backyard.
-I had no idea...
-I wanted to see you before you went back to Nevada. Also, the children - Michael, they're here.
-Where?
-In a minute. They're outside with Esther. I'm very happy for you... I suppose I knew that you're simply too smart for anyone ever to beat you.
-Why don't you sit down?
-I'm not going to stay long; I can't.
-There are a lot of things I want to talk to you about. Things I've been thinking about -- changes I want to make.
-I think it's too late for changes, Michael. I promised myself I wouldn't talk about it and I've gone and spoiled it.
-Why too late?
-Tell me, Michael. What really happened with Pentangeli?
-His brother came to help him.
-I didn't even know he had a brother. And where is he now?
-On a plane back to Sicily.
-And that's all he had to do. Just show his face.
-That's all. You see, in Sicily, in the old days... there was only one legitimate reason to kill a blood relative... only one. IF he was a traitor.
-You would have killed his brother?
-When he saw his brother in the hearing room, he knew what was at stake. I don't think Vincenzo would have done it. He loves the kids, too. Omerta, Kay. Honor, silence. It had nothing to do with me. It was between those brothers.
-I'll bring the children up now; they want to say goodbye.
-Kay, I told you...
-Goodbye, Michael.
-I won't let you leave! Christ, do you think I'm going to let you leave.
-Michael.
-No, I don't want to hear anything. There are things between men and women that will not change; things that have been the same for thousands of years. You are my wife, and they are my children... and I love you and I will not let you leave, because you are MINE!
-Oh, I do feel things for you, Michael; but now, I think it's pity. For the first time since I've known you, you seem so helpless. You held me a prisoner once; will you try again?
-If that's what it takes; then yes, I will.
-At this moment, I feel no love for you at all. I never thought that could happen, but it has.
-We'll go back tonight. Bring the children.
-How can I let you leave; how can I let you take my children away? Don't you know me? You understand, it's an impossibility. I would never let it happen; no, never, not if it took all my strength, all my cunning. But in time, soon, you'll feel differently. You see, you'll be happy that I stopped you. I know you. You'll forget about
-The baby I lost...
-I know what it meant... and I'm prepared to make it up to you. I will make changes; I can. I CAN change; that I have learned, that I have the strength to change... And we have another child, a boy... and you'll forget the miscarriage.
-Are you Klingman?
-Who's asking?
-Where can we talk?
-Right here.
-I represent the interests of the Corleone family. We make the invitation to you to tie up your affairs and be out of the hotel by Monday morning.
-Who do you think you're talking to?
-You said you were Klingman.
-You don't come in here, talk to an owner in Las Vegas like that.
-You missed my point; you are no longer an owner.
-It's Michael. How are you, Mom?
-I'm alright. Will you stay home for awhile?
-There are still things I have to do.
-Well, we can all have a nice dinner together tonight. How are your eyes?
-Alright. They bother me once in awhile. Tell me, when Pop had troubles... did he ever think, even to himself, that he had gone the wrong way; that maybe by trying to be strong and trying to protect his family, that he could... that he could... lose it instead?
-You talk about the baby. She can have another baby.
-No, I meant lose his family.
-Your family? How can you ever lose your family?
-Sit down, this is almost over. You follow the baseball games?
-Not for a few years.
-I like sporting events -- I really enjoy watching them in the afternoon. One of the things I love about this country. I loved baseball ever since Arnold Rothstein fixed the World Series of 1919...I heard you had some trouble.
-Yes.
-What a mistake; people behaving like that, with guns. It was my understanding we left all that behind. But, let me tell you, the important thing is that you're all right. Good health is the most important thing; more than success; more than power; more than money.
-The incident of the other night is a nuisance that I can take care of. I came to you because I want nothing to affect our agreement; I wanted to clear everything I'm going to do with you, just in case.
-You're a considerate young man.
-You're a great man, Mr. Roth, I have much to learn from you.
-However I can help you...
-The Rosato Brothers have performed services for you in the past; I understand that they are under your protection.
-We do favors for each other...
-Nothing is more important.
-Pentangeli is a dead man; do you object?
-It's always bad for business; but you have no choice.
-Then it's done. I must choose his replacement: it cannot be Rosato.
-I still don't speak Spanish, Michael.
-Enjoy.
-You have to be careful what you say in front of the others... they frighten easy. It's always been that way, most men frighten easy.
-We're making a big investment in Cuba. That's my only concern.
-My concern is that the three million never arrived at Batista's numbered account in Switzerland. He thinks it's because you have second thoughts about his ability to stop the rebels.
-The money was sent.
-Then you have to trace it. Michael, people here look at me as a reliable man. I can't afford not to be looked on as a reliable man. But you know all that; there's nothing you can learn from me. You shouldn't have to put up with a sick old man as a partner.
-I wouldn't consider anyone else.
-If only I could live to see it, kid; to be there with you. How beautifully we've done it, step by step. Here, protected, free to make our profits without the Justice Department, the FBI; ninety miles away in partnership with a friendly government. Ninety miles, just a small step, looking for a man who desperately wants to be President of the United States,
-This doubles my investment.
-Still no word of your courier? We'll find him. But at least this will satisfy our friends here. You've been invited to the New Year reception at the Presidential Home. I understand your brother is here as well; I hope he'll come.
-You're a careful kid, and that's good. But look. An international dispatch on the wire service. American journalism, not propaganda. The government troops have all but eliminated the rebels. All but their radio station.
-I've read it; I'm pleased that the government is doing so well. As a heavy investor, I'm pleased. How did the doctor find you?
-Terrible. I'd give twice this amount to take a piss without it hurting.
-Who had Frankie Pantangeli killed?
-Why...the Rosato Brothers.
-I know it wasn't me...so that leaves you.
-Hiya, Mr. Corleone, I'm Sam Roth. Welcome to the Capri; my brother's upstairs. You wanta take a rest before you see him, or can I get you something, anything at all?
-This is it! We think it makes Vegas look like the corner crap game.
-Very impressive.
-It occurred to me: the police are paid to fight, and the Rebels are not.
-So?
-You know my lawyer, Tom Hagen. Johnny Ola.
-I just left our friend in Miami.
-How is his health?
-Not good.
-Is there anything I can do; anything I can send?
-The hotel's registered owners are one Jacob Lawrence, and Sidney Barclay, both Beverly Hills attorneys. In reality it's split between the Old Lakeville Road Group from Cleveland, and our friend in Miami. He takes care of others outside the country, you know who I mean. Meyer Klingman runs the store, and does all right, but I've been instructed to tell you, that if you
-He's very kind, tell him it's appreciated. I'm sure it will be profitable all the way around.
-They asked him to sign paper to take down the markers; but he got mad; told them to wait until he was finished.
-Let him gamble.
-Are you the son of Vito Corleone?
-I'm sure we all agree with our esteemed colleague. Now, Mr. Corleone, you have been advised as to your legal rights. We have had testimony from a preceding witness who states you are head of the most powerful Mafia family in this country. Are you?
-No.
-This witness has testified that you are personally responsible for the murder of a New York Police Captain in the year 1947 and with him a man named Virgil Sollozzo. Do you deny this?
-I deny his every charge.
-Is it true that in the year 1950 you devised the murder of the heads of the Five Families in New York, to assume and consolidate your nefarious power?
-That is a complete falsehood.
-Is it true that you own a controlling interest in three of the major hotels in Las Vegas?
-Mr. Corleone, do you have any hotel interests in the state of Arizona? Or any gambling interests in that state?
-I do not.
-Do you have interests or control over gambling and narcotics in the state of New York.
-I know.
-When do we talk?
-Sure, Pete Clemenza died of a heart attack, but the Rosato Brothers gave it to him.
-We were all heartbroken at the news; but that wasn't cause to start a war.
-Okay, now it's my family in Brooklyn; and I wanna keep up Clemenza's loyalty to you. But how can I run my family with you challenging my every move? You're too far from the street, Mike, the only way to reason with the Rosato Brothers is to whack 'em and whack 'em fast.
-You were unfair with them.
-Says who?
-Clemenza promised Rosato three territories in the Bronx after he died, and then you took over and welched.
-Clemenza promised them nothing, he hated the sonsuvbitches.
-They feel cheated.
-Michael, you're sitting up here in the Sierra Mountains with champagne cocktails making judgment on the way I run my family.
-Your family still carries the name Corleone, and you will run it like a Corleone!
-And while I feed my family in New York, you put the knife in my back in Miami.
-Frankie, you're a good old man, and you've been loyal to my Father for years...so I hope you can explain what you mean.
-The Rosatos are running crazy; taking hostages, spitting in my face, because they're backed by the Jew in Miami.
-I know. That's why I want you to be fair with them.
-How can you be fair with animals? They recruit niggers and spicks; they do violence in their own Grandmother's neighborhoods. And everything is dope and whores; the gambling is left to last. Let me run my family without you on my back. I want them taken care of.
-No. There are things that I have planned with Hyman Roth. I don't want them disturbed.
-You give your loyalty to a Jew over your own blood.
-Frankie, you know my father respected Roth, did business with him.
-Don Corleone, I wish you let me know you was coming. We could have prepared something for you.
-I didn't want you to know I was coming. You heard what happened in my home?
-Michael, yes, we was all relieved...
-I want you to help me take my revenge.
-Michael, anything. What is it I can do for you?
-I want you to settle these troubles with the Rosato Brothers.
-I was just going to contact you, Michael; we just had a 'sit-down' - in fact, I just come from there.
-I want you to settle on their terms.
-Mike, I don't understand. Don't ask me to do that.
-Trust me; do as I ask.
-It would be the beginning of the end for my family. How can I keep all my other territories in like if I let two wise-guys stand up and demand this and that, and then give it to them?
-Frankie...do you respect me? Do I have your loyalty?
-Always... But sometimes I don't understand. I know I'll never have your kind of brains, in big deals. But Mike, this is a street thing. And Hyman Roth in Miami is behind the Rosato Brothers.
-I know.
-Then why do you want me to lay down to them?
-Frankie, Roth tried to have me killed. I'm sure it was him, but I don't know yet why.
-Jesus Christ, Michael, then let's hit 'em now, while we still got the muscle.
-This was my father's old study. When I was a kid, we had to be quiet when we played near here. When I was older, I learned many things from him here. I was happy that this house never went to strangers; first Clemenza took it over, and then you. My father taught me, in this room, never to act until you know everything
-Sure, Mike. I'll go along.
-My lawyer, Tom Hagen. He arranged this all through your man Turnbull.
-I thought we would meet alone.
-I trust these men with my life. They are my right arms; I cannot insult them by sending them away.
-The Corleone family controls two major hotels in Vegas; one in Reno. The licenses were grandfathered in, so you had no difficulties with the Gaming Commission. But I have the idea from sources... ...that you're planning to move in on the Tropicana. In another week or so you'll move Klingman out, which leaves you with only one technicality. The license, which is now in
-Turnbull is a good man.
-Senator Geary, I speak to you as a businessman who has made a large investment in your state. I have made that state my home; plan to raise my children here. The license fee from the Gambling Commission costs one thousand dollars; why would I ever consider paying more?
-We're all part of the same hypocrisy, Senator. But never think it applies to my family.
-They're still on the property. Maybe you better stay inside.
-We'll try.
-Your family all seem to be okay in the other houses; your Mother's still sleeping.
-And?
-On the phone?
-Rosato, where's your brother?
-He don't want to talk?
-We worked it all out beforehand.
-Are we going to eat or what?
-Sure, on me. I got Diner's Club.
-Forget it; I'm suddenly without an appetite. You're making big trouble, Carmine.
-You weren't straight with us, Frankie, what else could we do?
-We could have talked first, saved a lot of running around.
-You wasn't listening, you didn't want to talk.
-Don't I look like I'm listening?
-We want Brooklyn one hundred percent. No more taxes to you. We want to be only loosely connected with your family -- sort of a under-family all of our own. Then we can act on all internal matters without talking. Also we want you to inform Michael Corleone that we can deal directly with him.
-I'm a little hungry, maybe I'll order something. Joe. Get me some bracciole or something. And pay cash. And in return for these concessions, what do you do for me?
-We will release the hostages, number one. Number two, we're here for you to count on when you need us. We're independent, but we're here if you need us. In general, we'll cooperate with you and your businesses, and you in turn will cooperate with us. Pari persu.
-Pari Persu; what the fuck is Pari persu...?
-My lawyer went over this beforehand.
-What assurances do I have that there will be no more kidnapping, no more hits?
-The same assurance we got from you.
-What if I say shove it?
-Then Carmine Fucillo and Tony Blue DeRosa will need to be fitted for slabs.
-You want a war?
-We got no choice.
-You know if there's a way I'll go to the commission and the commission will side with me. That puts me and the other New York families against you.
-We got friends in the commission.
-I'm talking about Italians!
-What about Michael Corleone?
-He supports me.
-What's this?
-I have already rented the apartment to another family.
-I told her I would speak to you, that you are a reasonable man who acted out of some misunderstanding. She has gotten rid of the animal that caused all the trouble, so why shouldn't she stay. As one Italian to another, I ask you the favor.
-I've already rented it; I cannot disappoint the new tenants. They're paying a higher rent.
-How much more a month?
-Here is the six month's increase in advance. You needn't speak to her about it, she's a proud woman. See me again in another six months. But of course, you'll let her keep her dog.
-Excuse me, I hope I am not a disturbance, Don Corleone.
-Yes.
-Your good heart in helping the poor widow has shamed me, and I want to show that I, too, have some Christian charity. Her rent will remain what it was.
-What was that?
-I accept your generosity...
-Thanks, doll.
-I say let loverboy watch his movie. And be grateful Boone's not cutting Shirley Temple's lawn.
-What makes you say that?
-Just thinking out loud.
-Yeah, well keep your filthy thoughts to yourself.
-All right, then. He's interested in you for your conversation. We know what a great talker you are.
-Fuck you.
-Not anymore you don't. Doll.
-This looks corny.
-These old movies are such a hoot. They thought they were being scary, but they're just funny.
-Maybe it's supposed to be funny.
-So what did you think?
-You know what? I think you guys are all jealous.
-What's to be jealous of?
-I've gotten to know someone who's famous.
-Not so famous any of us have ever heard of him.
-What's that mean?
-It means it's too cold to go swimming. And I don't mean the water.
-I wasn't going to try anything.
-This old guy -- he's the kind of person I expected to meet when I moved out here. Someone who's done things with his life.
-Do you realize you're more interested in this old goober than you ever were in me?
-It's different. He's a man. And by the way you have no business calling him a homo.
-It never crossed your mind?
-He's an artist. Anyway, he's too old to think about sex.
-You picked up that girl right in front of me.
-Hey, no strings, right? That's what you always said. Just good pals who have the hots for each other.
-It still hurt. A lot.
-I didn't mean to...
-No, I'm actually kind of glad it happened. It made me wonder what the hell I was doing with my life. Letting you pull me into bed whenever the spirit moved you.
-You liked it too.
-Sure. I loved it.
-If you enjoy it, you should do it.
-You know, I just can't do that anymore. I still have time to get things right. Get married again --
-The look on your face! You're not marriage material. You're not even boyfriend material. You're a kid. A big, fun, slightly irresponsible kid.
-I'm not a kid.
-I like my life. I'm a free man.
-So you don't want to fuck. That's what you're telling me?
-Is that all this conversation means to you? Am I going to put out or not?
-Don't worry, you already paid me. I'm here because --
-It's your job, lady, not mine. I'm here so he can draw my picture.
-I'm keeping away. What you are doing is no business of mine.
-What're you talking about?
-What kind of man are you? Are you a good man?
-Yeah, I'm a good man. Something make you think I'm not?
-You will not hurt him?
-Gimme a break. I'm going to sit on my ass while he draws pictures. Is that going to hurt him?
-No. No. I am sorry. Forget everything I say. Here. I will take the tray.
-Something I can do for you?
-The Master wants to know if you are free for lunch. I tell him you will be having other plans, but he insists I ask.
-Got a lawn this afternoon, but I'm free until then.
-The Master is dressing. I am to offer you a drink. There is whiskey and there is iced tea.
-No. You are a guest now. You go in the living room.
-How long you worked for Mr. Whale?
-Long enough. Fifteen years.
-I bet you've seen a lot of famous people come and go? Movie stars?
-No. We live simply, Mr. Jimmy and I. People come to play bridge. And now and then, young men to swim. You have people, Boone?
-You mean family? All in Joplin, Missouri.
-Your wife?
-I'm not married.
-Why?
-Oh, I don't know. Because no girl in her right mind will have me?
-A man who is not married has nothing. He is a man of trouble. You need a woman.
-You ever been married, Hanna?
-Of course. I am married still.
-Yeah? What's your husband do?
-He is dead now, twenty years.
-Then you're as single as I am.
-No. I have children, grandchildren too. I visit when I can. But now that Mr. Jimmy cannot be left very long, I do not get away much. Poor Mr. Jimmy. There is much good in him, but he will suffer the fires of hell. Very sad.
-You're sure of that?
-This is what the priests tell me. His sins of the flesh will keep him from heaven.
-Sins of the flesh? Everybody has those.
-What is the good English? All I know is bugger. He is a bugger. Men who bugger each other.
-A homo?
-That is why he must go to hell. I do not think it fair. But God's law is not for us to judge.
-You're telling me Mr. Whale is a homo.
-You did not know?
-Well...no, not really --
-You and he are not doing things?
-No!
-Good. That is what I hope. I did not think you a bugger too. I fear only that you might hurt him if he tries.
-I'm not going to hurt anyone.
-It's not what you think.
-I have brought you your clothes. All I ask is that you get dressed and go. We are having a guest for breakfast.
-I need to talk to you about Mr. Whale.
-There is nothing you can say that will surprise me.
-Maybe. But I still need to talk. Do I have time for a cup of coffee before I go?
-Thanks. Why do you do it?
-What do I do?
-Take care of Mr. Whale like he was your flesh and blood.
-What have you done with him?
-I didn't do it. This wasn't me.
-Oh, Mr. Jimmy.
-He wanted me to kill him, but I didn't. He did it himself.
-You must leave. You were not here this morning.
-But I didn't do this!
-The police will not know that. They will want to investigate.
-We have his note.
-Do you want to be questioned about you and Mr. Jimmy? Please, Clayton. It will be better if I find the body alone.
-But how're you going to explain this? How did you get him out of the pool?
-Good morning.
-Mornin'.
-My name is Whale. This is my house.
-Nice place.
-And your name is --?
-Boone. Clayton Boone.
-I couldn't help but notice your tattoo. That phrase? Death Before Dishonor. What does it mean?
-Just that I was in the Marines.
-Getting to be a warm day. A scorcher, as you Yanks call it.
-Everything alright, Mr. Boone?
-I was just about to ask Hanna to bring down iced tea. I'd like it very much if you'd join me.
-I stink to high heaven right now.
-Or would you prefer a beer?
-No. Iced tea's fine.
-These are your paintings?
-What? Oh yes.
-Excuse me, but -- are you famous?
-You know what they say. If you have to ask --
-I'm just a hick who cuts lawns. But some of these look familiar.
-They were familiar when I painted them. That one's copied from a Dutch still life done almost three hundred years ago. And that's a Rembrandt.
-They're just copies then. Gotcha.
-But before I retired, you might say I had a brief time in the sun. Fame, as it were. Tell me, do you like motion pictures?
-Sure, everybody does. When I was a kid I'd go with my sister twice a week. Why? Were you an actor or something?
-In my youth, yes, but never in Hollywood. No, I was merely a director here.
-Yeah? What were some of your movies?
-This and that. The only ones you maybe have heard of are the "Frankenstein" pictures.
-"Frankenstein" and "Bride of" and "Son of" and all the rest?
-I made only the first two. The others were done by hacks.
-Still. You must be rich. Making a couple of famous movies like those.
-When they stay in your employ too long, servants begin to think they're married to you. Please, Mr. Boone. Help yourself.
-What did she mean by going flooey?
-I returned recently from a stay in hospital.
-What was wrong?
-You must excuse me for staring, Mr. Boone. But you have a marvelous head.
-Huh?
-To an artistic eye, you understand. Have you ever modeled?
-You mean, like posed for pictures?
-Sat for an artist. Been sketched.
-What's to sketch?
-You have the most architectural skull. And your nose. Very expressive.
-Broke is more like it.
-But expressively broken. How did it happen?
-Football in college.
-You went to university?
-Just a year. I dropped out to join the Marines.
-I apologize for going on like this. It's the Sunday painter in me. Of course I can understand your refusal. It's a great deal to ask of someone.
-You mean -- you really want to draw me?
-Indeed. I'd pay for the privilege of drawing your head.
-But why?
-Even an amateur artist needs a subject to inspire him.
-And it's just my head you want? Nothing else?
-What are you suggesting? You'll charge extra if I include a hand or a bit of shoulder.
-You don't want to draw pictures of me in my birthday suit, right?
-All right then. Sure. I could use the extra dough.
-Did you see this? They're showing one of your movies tomorrow night.
-You don't say? Which picture?
-"Bride of Frankenstein."
-That shirt, Mr. Boone.
-It's new.
-I'm sorry. It's too white, too distracting. Would it be asking too much for you to take it off?
-I'm not wearing an undershirt.
-Pish posh, Mr. Boone. I'm not your Aunt Tilly.
-But it's just my face you want to draw.
-We could wrap this like a toga around your shoulders. Would that help you overcome your schoolgirl shyness?
-Take a picture, it lasts longer.
-Would you be more comfortable barefoot? Feel free to remove your boots and socks.
-No. I'm fine.
-Dripping? Do you ever eat dripping in this country? The fat from roasts and such, congealed in jars. Used like butter on bread.
-Sounds like something you feed the dog.
-It is. Only the poorest families ever ate it. We kept ours in a crockery jar.
-Your family ate dripping?
-I'm sorry. I've just realized how terribly ironic it all is.
-What?
-There's something about the openness of your face that makes me want to speak the truth. Yes, my family ate dripping. Beef dripping and four to a bed, and a privy out back in the alley. Are you also from the slums, Mr. Boone?
-We weren't rich. But we weren't poor either.
-No, you were middle class, like all Americans.
-I guess you'd say we lived on the wrong side of the tracks.
-You have to excuse me, Mr. Boone. Since my stroke, I am often overcome with nostalgia.
-How are you, Mr. Boone? So glad you are free for lunch.
-All right, I guess.
-Do you mind?
-Is this David's doing?
-This David's a friend?
-Saw your movie the other night. Watched it with some friends.
-Did you now?
-I liked it. We all did.
-Did anyone laugh?
-No.
-Pity. People are so earnest nowadays.
-Why? Was it supposed to be funny?
-Did you kill anyone?
-I don't like to talk about that.
-It's nothing to be ashamed of, in the service of one's country. That's something to be proud of.
-Proud? Any jerk with a gun can kill someone.
-Quite true. Hand-to-hand combat is the true test. Did you ever slay anyone hand-to-hand?
-No. I could have, though.
-Yes, I believe you could. How free is your schedule this afternoon?
-Full up. I got the hedges to do here, then another lawn out by La Cienega.
-What is we say phooey to the hedges? Could you spare an hour after lunch? To sit for me?
-Can't today.
-I'll pay our going rate. Plus what you'd get if you did the hedges.
-Sorry. I don't feel like sitting still today.
-Just a trim. And mine while you're at it. Fingers are a bit stiff today.
-You ever been married, Mr. Whale?
-So you had a wife?
-Does that surprise you?
-No, I -- you're a homosexual.
-Oh dear. If one must have a clinical name.
-I'm not, you know.
-I never thought you were.
-You don't think of me that way, do you?
-What way might that be?
-You know. Look at me like -- like I look at women.
-So we understand each other?
-What you do is no business of mine. Live and let live, I say.
-I hope this has nothing to do with your refusing to sit for me today?
-Can I see what you did so far?
-It will only make you self-conscious. You'll have to remove your shirt.
-Sorry. Not today.
-But we have to match the other sketch.
-Oh dear. I <u>have</u> made you nervous.
-I'm fine. I'd just rather keep it on.
-I don't mean to be a prick, but that's how I feel.
-Tell me more about yourself, Mr. Boone. You have a steady companion?
-Not at the moment.
-Why not?
-You know how it is. You have to kiss ass just to get a piece of it.
-Very well put.
-The world is just one kiss-ass game after another. A man has to make up his own life, alone.
-Ah. A philosopher.
-Thoreau with a lawnmower.
-Is that why you and your friend split up? Because you wanted to be free?
-You might not think it to look at me now, but there was a time when I was at the very pinnacle of my profession. The horror movies were behind me. I'd done "Show Boat." Major success. Great box office. Now I was to do something important. "The Road Back." An indictment of the Great War and what it did to Germany. It was
-What happened?
-After that, I went out of fashion. I was no longer able to command the best projects, so I walked away. Why should I spend my time working in such a dreadful business?
-Do you miss it?
-I think we all want to feel we've left our mark on the world. Yes. I wish I had done more work.
-You've done a helluva lot more than most people.
-But I chose freedom. David was still in the thick of it, his life full of anxiety and studio intrigue. I didn't fancy spending my golden years as merely "the friend." The dirty little secret of a nervous producer.
-How long were you...?
-Of course, they weren't nearly as bashful. No, this room was once filled with bare buttocks. And pricks. Hard, arrogant pricks --
-Isn't it enough you told me you're a fairy? Do you have to rub my nose in it?
-I assure you, Mr. Boone, I meant no --
-The extras are in their places. Now we need the star. Wouldn't you like to get in the pool?
-You first.
-Mr. Boone. You're not due to cut the lawn until Wednesday.
-I'm curious, Mr. Boone. What convinced you to come back?
-I don't know. I guess I like your stories.
-Everybody has stories to tell.
-Not me.
-What about your stint in Korea? I'm sure it was full of dramatic episodes.
-And the fear you showed at our last session? How did you overcome that?
-Not fear. More like disgust.
-Same difference, Mr. Boone. Disgust, fear of the unknown -- all part of the great gulf that stands between us. Am I right in assuming that you've had little experience with men of my persuasion?
-There's no people like you in my crowd.
-No teammates in football? No comrades in Korea?
-You must think the whole world is queer. Well it's not. War sure isn't.
-Oh, there may not be atheists in the foxholes, but there are occasionally lovers.
-You're talking through your hat now.
-Not at all. I was in the foxholes myself.
-You were a soldier?
-This was World War I?
-Barnett. Was that his name? Leonard Barnett. He came to the front straight from Harrow. And he looked up to me. Unlike the others, he didn't care that I was a workingman impersonating his betters. How strange, to be admired so blindly. I suppose he loved me. But chastely, like a schoolboy.
-You will not set me on another walk down memory lane. Not this lane. Not today.
-I didn't --
-Why do I tell you this? I never told David. I never even remembered it until you got me going.
-You're the one who started it.
-You're very clever, Mr. Boone. You just sit there and let me talk. What a sorry old man, you're thinking. What a crazy old poof. Why are you here? What do you want from me?
-You asked me to model. Remember?
-Just go. Please. Why don't you go?
-I don't get it. First you creep me out with homo shit. Then you hit me with war stories. And now you're upset because I listen? What do you want?
-My apologies. I had no business snapping at you.
-No harm done.
-It was foolishness to attempt this portrait. You cannot force what will not flow.
-If you don't mind driving, I'd like to take you as my guest. There should be lots of pretty starlets to keep you amused.
-I'm game. Sure.
-Very good, Clayton. May I call you Clayton? Or do you prefer Boone?
-Good afternoon, Clayton.
-I suppose you'd like the top down.
-If that's okay?
-What did I tell you? Listen.
-I don't hear anything.
-What was that about?
-Who's that?
-David. The friend I thought was in New York.
-No. The girl.
-Is that really her?
-Are you enjoying yourself?
-Actually, no. I feel a little out of place.
-Neither of us really belongs here.
-Must have been funny for you. Seeing your monsters again.
-Oh fuck. And we left the top down. You want to run for it?
-Run for what?
-Let's get out of this funk hole
-You don't want to wait it out? Rain should let up soon.
-I better get you home before you catch your death from pneumonia.
-It's not like her.
-Just a night out. Sounds like she can't say no to her daughter.
-Certainly you have better things to do than babysit an old man?
-Oh, of course. Clayton. You finished your shower already?
-Ten minutes ago. Didn't you hear me calling?
-You're much wider than I am. You won't want to attempt to get into my pants.
-That only leaves the rest.
-You don't have any baggy shorts? Pajama bottoms?
-Sorry. My pajamas are tailored. Would it be too distressing to continue with the towel? No more immodest than a kilt, you know.
-Do I have any other choice?
-Is that --?
-After dinner, if Hanna isn't back? Can we try a few more sketches?
-I thought you'd given up on my picture.
-I'd like to try again. If you're game.
-Tell me something, Clayton. Do you believe in mercy killing?
-Never gave it much thought.
-I never made it to Korea.
-But you said --
--- that I was a Marine. Which is true. You filled in the rest.
-My old man was a Marine. He enlisted the day he turned seventeen.
-The Great War?
-By the time he was ready to ship out, the fighting was over. He missed out.
-A very lucky thing indeed.
-The morning after Pearl Harbor, he drove down to St. Louis to reenlist. He was so damn excited. World War II was going to be his second chance. They told him he was too old...fat ...nearsighted. Said he'd be more use to his country if he stayed home and looked after his family.
-Is that why you joined the Marines? For your father's sake?
-I figured he'd think, you know -- it was the next best thing. Hey, I loved it too. A chance to be a part of something important. Something bigger than yourself.
-What happened?
-You know what he did when I called him? He laughed. He laughed so hard he practically burst a blood vessel. Said it was a good lesson for me. Not to try to fill his shoes.
-I'm very sorry.
-Them's the breaks, right? No war stories for this pup.
-Do you mind?
-Storm's getting worse.
-"A perfect night for mystery and horror. The air itself is filled with monsters."
-That's from your movie, right? "The only monsters are here."
-I don't remember that one.
-I said it must be weird seeing your monsters again, and you said, "The only monsters are here." I was wondering which here you meant.
-I don't recall. Memories of the war, perhaps.
-But that was so long ago. It can't still bother you.
-Oh, but it does. Especially in light of the journey I'm about to make.
-Barnett. Barnett on the wire.
-Oh death where is thy sting-a-ling? Grave where thy victory?
-You survived it. It can't hurt you now. It's no good to dig it up.
-So it is going to happen after all.
-No. It won't do.
-What won't do?
-You are much too human.
-What did you expect? Bronze?
-Why?
-For the artistic effect. The combination of your human body and that inhuman mask. It's quite striking.
-I don't know.
-Please, Clayton. Just for a minute. Long enough for me to see the effect.
-It's from the first World War, isn't it?
-All right. Let's take it off now.
-What was that?
-Just take off the fucking mask!
-I'm not that way. Get it through your fucking head. I don't want to mess with you.
-Wait until I tell my friends I had you naked in my arms. Won't they be surprised?
-I haven't done a damn thing with you!
-Break my neck. Or strangle me. It would be oh so easy to wrap your hands around my neck and choke the life out of me. Please, Clayton. We've come this far.
-Look, if you want to die do it yourself!
-You okay?
-Oh Clayton.
-Did I hurt you?
-Nothing I didn't deserve.
-Need some help?
-I can undress myself, thank you.
-When you die...be sure your brain is the last organ to fizzle --
-You'll feel better tomorrow.
-Boone! You awake? Eight o'clock.
-Fuck off!
-I'm up. Thanks.
-I liked it. You learn stuff listening to old-timers.
-This kisser wasn't so bad you couldn't lay under it a few times.
-You coming, Boone?
-Hey, Boone.
-Can't say that I have. Can't say I've heard of a lot of people though.
-If you don't believe me, let's watch this movie. See if his name's on it. How about it, Harry? Can I watch my damn movie?
-Calm down, Clay. Just calm down. We'll watch it.
-You're like a dog with a bone over this movie, Clay.
-Sick stuff. Necrophilia. I wonder if they knew how sick they were.
-Go home, Clay. We're closing up.
-Where's Betty?
-She tells me you haven't been sleeping well.
-It's the ridiculous pills they prescribe. If I take them, I spend the next day stupid as a stone. If I don't, my mind seems to go off in a hundred directions at once --
-Then take the pills.
-I'm sorry, Jimmy. But with this movie and two difficult stars --
-"The fault, dear David, is not in ourselves but in our stars."
-You remember how a production eats up one's life.
-By the way, I like the Renoir.
-Thank you.
-What are you doing here?
-Just what I was about to ask you. I thought you were in New York.
-Should you be drinking in your condition?
-You should have seen Georgie's face when he met Clayton.
-You didn't, Jimmy.
-I did. But Princess Margaret was a doll. We're all equals in her eyes. As commoners, I presume.
-You only embarrass yourself.
-Oh dear. I'll never work in this town again?
-You know what I mean. Your reputation.
-But I have no reputation. I'm as free as the air.
-Well the rest of us aren't. Can't you remember that?
-I didn't ask George to invite you.
-Then who did?
-Jimmy, there are people here I need to speak to. You'll be fine on your own?
-Yes. Perfectly.
-You're a lucky man, Mr. Whale. Whatever damage was done by your stroke, it left your motor abilities relatively unimpaired.
-Yes, yes, Dr. Payne. But from the neck up? What's my story there?
-The central nervous system selects items from a constant storm of sensations. Whatever was killed in your stroke appears to have short-circuited this mechanism. Parts of your brain now seem to be firing at random.
-You're saying there's an electrical storm in my head?
-That's as good a way as any to describe it. I've seen far worse cases. You might even learn to enjoy these walks down memory lane.
-But the rest of it? The killing headaches. The phantom smells. My inability to close my eyes without thinking a hundred things at once. It's all nothing more than bad electricity?
-In a manner of speaking. I've never encountered the olfactory hallucinations, but I'm sure they're related.
-So what do I do?
-Take the Luminal to sleep, or whenever you feel an attack coming on.
-My God. Is the audience to presume that Colin and I have done her hair? I thought we were mad scientists, not hairdressers.
-Only a mad scientist could do this to a woman.
-Oh no, my dear. You look absolutely amazing. There's no way I can compete with you. The scene is yours.
-In the sequel, James, two lady scientists should make a monster. And our monster would be Gary Cooper.
-I would've thought Mr. Leslie Howard would be more your line.
-More your line.
-Uh-oh. The way you look at me, James. What have you done this time?
-Bring a mirror. Let the Bride feast upon her visage.
-And you said there'd be some of me left. Nobody's going to know me in this getup.
-Jimmy. How are you?
-I saw Una O'Conner a few weeks ago. She said you'd been under the weather.
-Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. Growing old.
-We're all getting a bit long in the tooth.
-Please. You shouldn't stand on my account.
-Perfectly all right. But if you'd like to sit --
-I'm fine, Jimmy. I can only stay a few minutes.
-Of course.
-Is that Boris? Our little chum appears to be arranging a reunion.
-We'll be in touch, Jimmy.
-Hanna? Who's the new yardman?
-There is iced tea, Hanna? Cucumber sandwiches?
-Yes, Mr. Jimmy. An interview. After so many years. Very exciting.
-Mr. Kay, sir.
-Which ones? I bring them all.
-You must think I'm terrible, Hanna.
-I do not think you anything anymore. Just back from the hospital and already you are chasing after boys.
-Oh shut up. All we did was talk. My attack had nothing to do with him.
-Perhaps we should get you uphill before the pills knock you cold.
-How are you feeling, Mr. Jimmy? How is your mind today?
-You remember what the doctor tells us.
-Yes, yes, yes. I merely invited Mr. Boone in for a glass of tea. We'll have a brief chat and he'll finish the yard.
-I am not forgetting your last brief chat.
-He looks plenty big. You won't need my help if anything goes flooey.
-Oh, that monster. How could you be working with him?
-He is not going to kill the old man?
-She is horrible.
-You will take them all, Mr. Jimmy?
-I'll be fine, Hanna. Thank you.
-Does the yardman come today?
-Who was that at the door?
-Mr. Boone. He is an interesting friend.
-I'd hardly call our yardman a friend.
-Do you miss having someone to talk to, Hanna?
-I have my family. Also our Lord Jesus Christ.
-It needs a hat. There was a wide-brimmed cream fedora...
-That is my daughter. She say she and her husband are coming to town this afternoon. I am sorry, Mr. Jimmy. I will make it short.
-I'll be out this afternoon, remember? Your family can visit as long as they like.
-Mr. Whale, this is such an honor. You're one of my favorite all-time directors. I can't believe I'm meeting you.
-No. I expect you can't.
-And this is your house. Wow. The house of Frankenstein. I thought you'd live in a spooky old mansion or villa.
-One likes to live simply.
-That's my favorite line in my favorite movie of yours. "Bride of Frankenstein."
-Will that be good for you, Mr. Kay?
-Sure.
-This is the studio where I paint.
-So, Mr. Kay? What do you want to know?
-Everything. Start at the beginning.
-Yes?
-Your father was a schoolmaster?
-There was one play in particular, a beautiful, grim study of war called "Journey's End". Every experienced director turned it down, so I offered myself, bullying and begging for the job. "Journey's End" made the careers of everyone associated with it. It was only a matter of time until Hollywood beckoned.
-How much longer before we get to "Frankenstein"?
-Am I correct in assuming, Mr. Kay, that it's not me you're interested in, only my horror pictures?
-Oh no, I want to hear everything. You made twenty pictures in all --
-Twenty-one. The romantic comedies and dramas were much more to my liking. The horror pictures were trifles. Grand guignol for the masses.
-I am not dead yet, Mr. Kay.
-I have a proposal, Mr. Kay. This mode of questioning is getting old, don't you think?
-I don't mind.
-That's funny, Mr. Whale.
-It is, isn't it? My life as a game of strip poker. Shall we play?
-You're serious.
-Quite.
-Then the rumors are true?
-What rumors might those be?
-That you were forced to retire because, uh -- a sex scandal.
-Too warm for a sweater, anyway.
-George Cukor? Who made "A Star Is Born"? I never guessed.
-Don't be shy. There's time to stop before you go too far.
-Can we talk about the horror movies now?
-Certainly, Mr. Kay. Is there anything in particular you want to know?
-Can that count as one question?
-Of course.
-Just like going swimming, isn't it?
-Maybe you'd like a swim when we're through. I never swim myself, so the pool tends to go to waste.
-Okay. "Frankenstein." Tell me everything.
-Universal wanted me for another story, and wanted me so baldly -- I mean badly, not baldly. I was given the pick of stories being developed, and I picked that one.
-Who came up with the Monster's makeup and look?
-My idea. Muchly. My sketches. Big heavy brow. Head flat on top so they could take out the old brain and put in the new, like tinned beef.
-He's one of the great images of the twentieth century. As important as the Mona Lisa.
-Mr. Whale? Are you all right?
-Oh my God. What's wrong, Mr. Whale? Is it your heart?
-I was going to take a swim.
-I'm sorry I spoiled it for you. You should probably go home.
-Mr....Kay?
-Bet you thought you'd never see me again. I didn't know if you'd be well enough to come to this party.
-You didn't?
-I'm the one who got you on Mr. Cukor's guest list.
-You, Mr. Kay? How do you know George Cukor?
-I interviewed him after I met you. I'm his social secretary now. Well, assistant to his secretary.
-I commend you. If you're going to pursue poofs, go after those who can do favors for you. You waste everybody's time when you court dinosaurs.
-Don't think that, Mr. Whale. I love your movies. That's why I wanted you to come to this. So I could see you with your monsters.
-My monsters?
-How are you?
-Fine. Quite fine. And Your Royal Highness?
-Can we get together while I'm in town? I so badly want to sit for you again.
-Sit?
-Oh dear. Have I made a blunder?
-Ma'am, the pleasure is all mine. James Whale.
-How's the leg?
-What are you doing here?
-What about?
-It's been a long time, Memphis --
-Six years ...
-Six years. Shit. Time flies, don't it? Six years ago we were fartin' through Armani and pissin' Cristal. Now look at us ...
-He took a job. And he fumbled it. Now he's jammed-up. Jammed-up bad...
-What kind of job... ?
-A boost. A big boost ...
-It seems she neglected to mention it
-Maybe she don't know. Although I don't see how that could be. Maybe she didn't want to upset you -
-Don't feel the need to explore my family dynamics, Atley...
-Who was the job for?
-Car-jacker. Neglected to clean up after himself ...
-Jesus ...
-What's with the fish thing -- ?
-We can learn something from our Asian friends. They smoke a thousand cigarettes a day; they're completely stressed and overworked; they drink like, well ...
-Fish.
-And they still have the lowest rate of cancer of anywhere in the world. You know why? All they eat is seafood.
-Also, never underestimate the restorative powers of "Karaoke."
-I do a poaching number. Six-ounce fillets in a saucepan of brine. In 8 minutes, I could cater a goddamn wedding. Plain but flavorful. And it's a good way to show off my Hollandaise sauce ...
-You have a Hollandaise sauce ?
-I do ... Christ, what happened to us ?
-Speak for yourself, boss I don't have a Hollandaise sauce
-I think about that night a lot...
-Me, too. Every time I walk...
-Yeah -- ?
-Jesus, man ... What'd you do?
-My version of "take this job and shove it..."
-Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead, right?
-Randall Raines ... It's been a long time ... frowns) 'though I do I recall you as a man with style. You remember your old friend, Atley -- ?
-It's about my brother ... Kip...
-Now. Where were we? Oh, yes. Kip.
-My point. Yes. Simple, really. I require the best. I insist on the best. I only engage the best. Your brother. His friends. They came to me. They wanted my paper. He was your brother. You were the best. Now. They've brought so much goddamn heat down, I may not be able to fill this order. Which would be very bad for me. Which
-I could kill you. That occurred to me. When I first heard about this. That I would kill you ...
-I can come up with the front money. Pay you back...
-They gave you only four days?
-I'm not interested --
-I knew you'd say that.
-I'm just here about my brother.
-Sound it out for me.
-Your brother has four days. Fifty cars. Five-zero. For that he gets 200 large ...
-I don't want them hurt. Any of 'em...
-This is how you're spending my time? Having a sock hop?
-Everyone know Ray Calitri? Pillar of the community ...
-Get out of here, Ray --
-One more night --
-Get out --
-Well, well. You've caused quite a ruckus ...
-This is number 50. We did it. It's over Where's the money ?
-You should never have gotten my brother and his friends involved ...
-Well, now, he's clear. And you'll stay away from him...
-Well, that certainly won't do.
-What do you mean -- ?
-Look at it. I can't very well make delivery of that thing ...
-You got no choice. It's over.
-Good. Cos you know how it plays. Six years ago, I let you go free. But the next time ... The next time sends you away for'a long, long while ...
-They just brought in Donny Astricky. Shot by a jacker ...
-How is he?
-Let's get out there. And have them run down every 167 Shelby Mustang in the area ... Find out where they're at.
-What for?
-I know you --
-You know my back -
-You want to come along quiet?
-How's Atley -- ?
-Leg's all banged-up. He made a stupid play ... He'll limp around the yard up at Folsom. But Astricky will be there to take care of him. With their priors, they're looking at a serious bounce --
-Let them go --
-How's that?
-Let them go. And I'll leave ...
-You'll leave -- ?
-You don't have anything on me. A misdee auto-theft. I got no record. I'll be out in three days, and back at it. Or you let them go, and I give you my word. I'm gone. And without the ringleader ... Your tee-times have just grown exponentially...
-You have my word...
-I know you.
-I remember us having made some kind of deal, Randall. I don't remember this deal having some kind of time-limit. I look at you - here - in my town - and I'm confused...
-A little family emergency --
-I hope it's not your dear sweet mother...
-No...
-Or your baby brother. What was his name?
-Kip.
-And this has what to do with me?
-I know you.
-You know my back.
-What are you still doing here, Randall?
-You're thinking: okay, there's no want ... But they probably stripped its guts and crated 'em up, right ... ?
-It's funny. There's probably been five more cars stolen in the time I've been here ...
-I'm on the move -
-Your girl works in there ...
-Not my girl anymore
-Yet your still here ... I gave you 24 hours, 24 hours ago ...
-What do you want from me?
-I know you.
-I want you gone, Randall. Settle your affairs. Make it right with those you love. Hell, take 'em with you. But I want you out of here. Out of here for good this time ...
-Consider me gone, Detective --
-I'll catch you later, Randall --
-Double-meaning intended --
-Who is it -- ?
-What's this -- ?
-What's wrong with it -- ?
-No faith in our new-found goodness, Detective ...?
-Okay, then. I'll catch you later, Randall ...
-Double-meaning intended, right?
-When'd you get to town, Raines?
-The other day....
-What for?
-No particular reason. Catch a Laker game. I heard we got Shaquille ...
-Where you been, anyway?
-Just out there. Roaming around. Building up my collection of refrigerator magnets ...
-You seem a little hinked-up ...
-How'd it go?
-Keys were in it ...
-It just ain't happening --
-You'll get the hang of it, kid. You just need to remember one thing -
-I guess ...
-You got a school teacher or Nancy from accounting, you don't put on Sly Stone or James Brown. You put on Ravel. Rachmaninoff. But if you got some wild one you just picked up at the track, you wouldn't put on Cat Stevens or James Taylor. You'd put on Prince. Or Isaac Hayes. Or, if you really wanted to get after it: Miles.
-okay ...
-It's the same way with cars. Different cars. Different tunes. You can't steal a Maserati listening to Sinatra. You gotta get urgent. You gotta get Sonny Rollins or Led Zeppelin IV, on that shit. But never, never-ever take no Allman Brothers into a Lincoln Town Car. Could lead to disaster. Got it... ?
-Got it ...
-Diane 1.
-Very good. Think you can get in without waking her up -- ?
-Yeah.
-What's the matter?
-It's all microchips and shit ...
-So? Tell me: how come they call you "Freb" anyways -- ?
-C'mon, man ...
-You ever feel bad about any of this?
-Of course not. I'm Robin Hood. I take from the rich, and give to the needy...
-You mean the poor --
-Donny --
-C'mon, Donny... Let's go, man --
-Lookit Kip. All grown up...
-You guys have any skills at all?
-What about him?
-For real. Okay. Gimme COLUMBO...
-Peugot convertible ...
-What color?
-No. That was Higgins ....
-Damn. Memphis Raines. Long time ...
-How you doing, man?
-All I get are the Orientals. They can build 'em, but they can't drive 'em So? What are you doing here? What's with the outfit -- ?
-Forget that ...
-Most of 'em are late-model...
-That's right. Only 10 exotics ...
-Wow! They got Eleanor here -- ?
-Eleanor is Memphis' "unicorn."
-How's it going -- ?
-I miss Orville Redenbacher already --
-A bunch of strung-out hypes and stick- up men. This ain't like the old days, Memphis. The profession has lost its..
-Dignity...
-We're on a truncated time-table. Take a day to shop it; a day to prep it ... And we're still going to need to expand the crew...
-There's no one left ...
-Jesus. The whole damn thing's loaded.
-Yes, I do, in fact. John Wayne in McO...
-Walked like a bastard... Skippin' stones and shit..
-That's a good one, Donny...
-The corner of Hawthorne and Granvia. Tumbler messed up. He said the Lotus would be at the corner of Hawthorne and Granvia --
-How are we supposed to--
-Any word, Kip -- ?
-No ... And they won't take my calls ...
-What does that mean -- ?
-That can't be it. Cos we don't need saving
-How you know that?
-Okay, okay. What about MAGNUM P.I.?
-You look good...
-You, too, Ma...
-What are you doing back?
-Have you seen him?
-No.
-oh.
-Atley Jackson came to see me ...
-Why didn't you tell me?
-I couldn't. I didn't want you to worry. I thought held sort himself out. I hardly see him. He comes and goes. He's in trouble, isn't he?
-He's in some trouble ...
-I knew it. He's changed, Randall. He's a different boy. He's lost that... That sweetness ... It's gone ... And I don't know what to do ...
-You getting my checks ... ?
-He doesn't return my calls. or my letters ...
-The photo album. I get nostalgic around this time of year ...
-What time of year?
-You ever wonder what things'd be like if he hadn't died?
-Every day. I wonder about that every day...
-And just in case you lose your keys, good sir, I can toss in a complimentary slim-jim, free of charge ...
-I remember. Supper getting cold, cos you two are out there heads under hoods ...
-I know...
-D.W.P. Thanks for holding. How can I help you?
-I got a message. I live at 1443 Locklin.
-Yes. can you hold, sir -- ?
-okay, sir. Let me just get the-order. Yes. We'll be doing some work out your way. We've got a power leak. And it's unsafe. We're moving residences to the... Marriott Long Beach ... Just for the night ...
-Oh, for God's sake
-Breakfast brunch -- ?
-Okay, then ... I just go to the Marriott and I'm set ...
-Any more, O -- ?
-You guys are through...
-Whatcha got left ... ?
-"Carol." A 198 Mercedes ... She lives in the suburbs ...
-We'll take it...
-It's ear-marked for Mirror Man and The Sphinx...
-Hey, Kip, what's up?
-What do you say, Toby?,
-You goin' home?
-Yeah... You want a ride...
-Sure -
-How'd you get here? Your Moms give you ride -- ?
-Hell, no. I boosted a 'Vette.
-You boosted a 'Vette? Then where is it?
-I dunno. It was right here. Someone musta' boosted it back...
-It looks just like a regular Mustang --
-Any more ...
-No...
-Jesus, Kip ... I'm shot, man ...
-Hey, Kip ...
-It's good to see ya, man. You changed your look -
-Kip -- ?
-Yeah ...
-You all right -- ?
-I think so. There's things I can't feel right now. Like my feet. But ... You think you can get me outta this, Memphis? I'd appreciate it -
-This has nothing to do with any of that --
-Oh. You maybe have more than one enemy who owns a car-crusher -- ?
-All my enemies own car crushers. It's like a pre-requisite ... Owwww...
-You okay -- ?
-Totally. I'm fine. You want a beer, man -- ?
-You sure you're okay -- ?
-Cool. So you're living up North?
-Yeah -
-I heard you were pumping gas -
-Something like that -
-You're kind of cultivating a new look.
-Nah. It's a scratch.
-Hey, you want something to eat ?
-There's certainly a time and a place for a mellow olive -
-So what are you gonna do?
-About what?
-"About what?"
-About Calitri? No worries, man. I'll call him. He's a reasonable dude ...
-What happened to you?
-You just got crushed in a car. You're bleeding all over your self. And you sit there - eating olives and talking basketball, as if, at this very moment, people weren't plotting your demise ...
-C'mon, man... My "demise..." Overreaction
-"Over--" You know - I can maybe understand, since I been gone, you taking up this dumb-ass life of crime, and for that I can partly blame myself. But what is baffling to me, is how, since I been gone, you've become a complete and total moron--
-Hey, now -
-He's gonna kill you -- !
-I can handle it --
-You can handle it?
-I can handle it --
-You can handle it?
-I can handle it --
-You?
-Me.
-You?
-You don't think so, huh?
-What are you doing here?
-We do this. Then. You're finished. Then. You're clean
-I like how you wallop back in here - after four years - and can still get all Clifford Huxtable on my shit ...
-You hear me?
-You spread it out ... you move around... So's they can't touch you... so's they don't know... Shadow games and shit ...
-"Shadow games?"
-Shadow games ...
-Reads the infrared. Then kills it. Little something the R & D department came up with ...
-How long were you gonna let me try and stop it...?
-After a while, it became a little pathetic ... Figured I'd put you out of your misery ...
-Thank-you ...
-Ain't we good-timing here ... ?
-The family that steals together, deals together...
-Dad'd be proud --
-Maybe not. But Dad was from another era...
-What era was that -- ?
-The era when crime didn't pay --
-As opposed to now, Kid Car Crusher?
-Price of doing business...
-What about just getting a job, 9 to 5, five days a week, that whole mystery achievement -- ?
-Having fun, Kip?
-You okay -- ?
-Too early to tell. Nervous?
-Nah.
-That's strange. I'm nervous. Donny's nervous. Everyone's nervous. But not you...
-I dunno. Whatever will be will be...
-What did I tell you? What? What did I tell you?
-Come here --
-What?
-Come here -
-What?
-I've missed you, man ...
-Toby...
-I know ...
-What are you doing here?
-I saw her get smashed-up on the TV. Knew there was no way he was gonna accept her ...
-Where'd you find this one?
-Ya gotta keep tabs on your "Eleanors", Memphis. Cos you never know when you're gonna need one --
-You boost her -- ?
-Hell, yeah. She's not my unicorn.
-You okay -- ?
-You remember where you got this Eleanor -- ?
-Sure, man --
-You want me to buy her?
-Where you off to -- ?
-Thirteen down ... Thirty-seven to go ...
-But don't worry, man. Things are all sweetness and light here...
-Pop the trunk, Tumbler.
-What for -- ?
-Now what -- ?
-Shit ...
-What are we gonna do -- ?
-Hospital.
-He give you an advance -- ?
-You know of one -- ?
-Take it back, Freb --
-Okay. We're all here. Today's Wednesday. D-Day is Friday night ... That gives us two days to prep ... We're going to find the ladies on our list, find out where they live, when they're home; that they're properly insured ... Let's get into the vans --
-Where we going -- ?
-Jim Rockford. ROCKFORD FILES.
-How's it going?
-Call 911 -
-Call 'em here -- ?
-See you're still stealing the sailors from the sea --
-What's with the look?
-The hip, cool, sexy thing was getting old...
-You still wrenching at Bacchiochi's?
-Hell, yeah. I'm not getting rich in here ...
-Buy you a drink?
-"Mitch?"
-Mitch.
-So I was replaced by Mitch?
-On account of Mitch?
-I've taken the spear for a lot of people, Sway. Including you. Can't we improvise a little here ... ?
-No can do. Life goes on, pointfive ... You left me, remember?
-I left town. I didn't leave you.
-A distinction worth noting ...
-And here I am...
-Yes. But I got a feeling it's not on account of any longing-for-my-touch on your part -
-What kind of trouble -- ?
-Kip took a job. Fifty ladies in two weeks. Only the two weeks have turned into four days. And not a single lady has been snared.
-And you got some Italians -- ?
-Six or seven...
-I'm not doing it anymore. Haven't for a while. I've carved out something for myself. It's pathetic, but it's mine ...
-What the hell are you doing -- ?
-That's Mirror Man ... And that's Freb ... And Tumbler ... And Toby ... Fellas, this is Sara Wayland... They call her "Sway."
-Hey.
-What's wrong with her -- ?
-Right. Great car. One of a kind. I was looking forward to that boost myself
-She was the only "Annie" you could find?
-They only made a handful. We're lucky there's even one living in the area...
-She's trouble --
-I go with you --
-That what you want?
-That's what I want ...
-You mentioned that in your letters
-We were good when you bailed, weren't we?
-Very good...
-Cos there were those dark days, when I figured - my God, how easy it was for him to just give it up; to make the deal; take the rot for the whole crew ... And give me up in the process.
-No way ...
-No ... ?
-Don't go getting all warm and fuzzy on me, Randall. I'm the jane that was left, and you're the jim that did the leaving. So save the sanctimonious shit for someone who believes. The only reason I ride with you, is cause I don't want to spend the whole night with any of them other creeps!
-Ready -- ?
-No whistles, but a Club You bring a hack -- ?
-What the hell's that -- ?
-Gosh, no. Lipstick? What next? Mascara, blush, floral-print dresses?
-So, you seeing anybody?
-No. I had a girl. She was great. The problem is: great girls come along once every ten years. So I gotta wait another three years before I can even bother to look...
-She was so great, why'd you leave her?
-C'mon, gang. Let's focus. Sway, can you prep 'em -- ?
-I think so... They're just... So ...
-Arright ... Enough ... I can't have you bellying up to my heart again, man, f you can't help falling off the stool. But he puts his mouth to her ears ...
-Stop. What about Maserati Boy?
-I take out my slim-jim...
-Slip it in ...
-You're going high-cheese, dude --
-Unlock your button ...
-"Unlock my button" ... ?
-The alarms go off ...
-Woo-woo-wooooo!
-I pop your hood; find your siren wires
-They're factory alarms ... Easy to get around... For a man with... Skills...
-I do ... I cut "em...
-Cut 'em...
-Now... I'm in ...
-Of course you are. You're a professional...
-I ratchet your ignition mechanism ...
-I bet you say that to all the girls...
-With a twist of my wrist ... You're turned over ...
-Wrong preposition...
-Hear you roar ...
-What about The Club ... ?
-Let me worry about The Club ...
-No worries ...
-You're still quite the boost, Randall Raines ... Except now I've been chopped, and my parts are in a Honda Prelude being driven to church in South America by some Bolivian consulate's wife ...
-Donny got shot ... A jacker ...
-How is he -- ?
-Where to -- ?
-You okay -- ?
-What are you doing... ?
-I can't. I got a back load of repairs and one of the mechanics called in sick and I haven't slept and-- Where to -- ?
-This time it's for real?
-What -- ?
-Nothing. Just that if I was less secure, I might think you were more into Eleanor than you are me...
-She does have one thing you don't.
-What's that?
-Am I dying? Are all the angels of my life returning to bid a final farewell? And have my angels completely lost their fashion sense -- ?
-Hello, Otto ...
-You remember Junie?
-Whatever do you mean?
-The chop-shop... Where are the stripped cars? The rolled-back odometers? The part bins?
-I heard rumors you were back. About Kip ...
-You think it can be done?
-Are you considering a comeback tour?
-Tell me...
-It can be done. Take two days to shop; one to prep. I'll offer up my bible for a small fee. You also have to hope Kip's jerk-circus didn't undo Castlebeck's linkage so much so that he's setting up surveillance teams on every city block. And then get yourself a crew...
-The hard part ...
-"A people is a detour of nature to get 6 or 7 great men - Yes, and then to get around them..." Nietzsche said that.
-Is he still working here ?
-The old crew. Go find them. I can't help you with that. Since I've cleaned up the act a bit, they no longer come around... A pity how legitimacy makes you unpopular -
-I remember I had a 1964 Buick Opal. worst car ever built. Value job. Everything broke and I-fixed it. A coma car - built to German specs. Plastic gas line. 3 speedometer head. On a quiet night, you could hear it rusting in the garage. But when that car was gone, I missed it. If it came driving back in here right now, there'd
-And the moral of that story is -- ?
-Some crew you got ...
-You need him...
-No we don't -
-I appreciate your dilemma, Memphis. But how are two washed-up thieves and an old man supposed to boost 50 cars in three days...
-His criminal career has officially come to a close ...
-Okay, then... Otto?
-Anyone? The significance of "Robin 1" on Magnum's license plate? Memphis?
-Robin was Robin Masters. He owned the estate they lived on ...
-Split it up. Any word on Donny?
-He's gonna be okay. Could do a bit.
-What happened to Sway?
-Dinosaurs. All of us. The Ice Age is now...
-Hey, Memphis. Remember me? Toby Walker. I live next door ...
-Sure. Hey, Toby. You grew up
-How old are you now, Toby?
-This Eleanor's been living at the International Towers for 3 years now.
-Who's "Eleanor?"
-The 167 Mustang Shelby Mustang GT-500.
-Why do you call it "Eleanor?"
-She's not. Carroll Shelby tweaked the Mustang's High-Performance 289 engine and got it legally rated for the street at 450 horsepower ... But its actual output is closer to 600 ...
-So she flies -
-I logged outside the G.R.A.B. site, right? Then I monitored their incoming outside data requests, right? Then I got these ISDN numbers, right? Then I tracked them back, right? Then I took the one I could jack-up the easiest, right? Then I called back see, they think I'm an insurance company - that's where it looks like I'm coming from -- and they're sharing
-So what's in there -- ?
-What about me?
-You'll be at the docks ... Keeping Otto abreast of our progress ...
-How come ... ?
-Because you should be home with Nintendo, listening to The Spice Girls, little man ...
-Okay. All our ladies should be home now, tucked in bed. Let's keep chilly. Think Slow. Any questions?
-You're gonna be okay, Toby... You are ... We'll getcha fixed up...
-You know what you got here?
-Not really -
-There's excessive resistance in the cranking circuit ... You know what you gotta do -- ?
-Not really --
-You have any other answers besides "not really"?
-Not --
-Uh ... Randall -- ?
-What do you want, shithead?
-Why you gotta front me like that? I'm talking to Kip --
-Why don't you leave him alone?
-I known Kip longing than you, man ...
-What are you doing here, assface?
-Which way's out, man -- ?
-You think I don't know? You think I like to keep this inside? But I gotta, or he'll kill the miserable bastard and he'll be there for life. It's disgusting what you have to put up with.
-Look at Jeannie's kid.
-What? What happened?
-The oldest one. He was in an argument. A lousy ten-dollar card game. The kid pulls out a gun. It goes off. The kid gets killed. The grandmother hears it and finds out he's been arrested. She has a heart attack. She drops dead right on the spot. Now Jeannie's got a husband and son in jail and a mother in the funeral parlor.
-But he was always a bad kid, that one.
-Hey, look at him. Tommy. You grew up.
-Billy, how are you?
-Hey, Billy. Watch the suit.
-Listen to him. "Watch the suit," he says. A little pisser I've known all my life. Hey, Tommy, don't go get too big.
-Don't go busting my balls. Okay?
-You remember Tommy's shines? The kid was great. He made mirrors.
-No more shines, Billy.
-Tell him. It's okay.
-What did you hear about that thing?
-What thing? The Brooklyn thing?
-No. No. The guy from downtown.
-The guy from near where Christie used to live?
-No. The other one. The one who disappeared up the block from Christie. The one they made a beef on.
-I don't want any more of that Shit.
-Wha? Me?
-Just stay away from the garbage. Yon know what I mean.
-Me? Why would I get into that shit?
-I know what you did inside. You did what you had to do. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking from now on, outside. I'm talking right here.
-I'm not going to get fucked like Gribbs. He's seventy years old and the fucking guy is going to die in prison. I don't need that. I don't care who it is. I'm warning everybody. Gribbs got twenty years just because he said hello to some fuck who was sneaking around selling junk behind his back. That's not going to happen to me. You
-Paulie. Why would I? I swear.
-You're only home early because we got you a job, right? And I don't need any heat. You understand?
-Nods.
-And, if you hear about anybody else fucking around with that shit, you tell me.
-Nods again.
-Anybody! You understand?
-I warned you a million times.
-I've been all fucked up since I got out.
-You think I didn't know what you were doing?
-It was easy money. I did it in the can. Shit! I learned the junk business in the can, Paulie.
-Right in my face. You looked in my face and you lied.
-But, Paulie, I'm sorry. Believe me. I was fucking crazy. But I'm okay now. I can be trusted. I'm clean now. On my children. Believe me! Two weeks cold turkey waiting for bail got my head together...
-You thought I was some fucking jerk?
-Paulie. You're all I got. I need help.
-Here. Take it. Now I gotta turn my back on you.
-I had a meeting with Tuddy around eleven o'clock and here I am a back-up guy.
-Have more coffee. It'll wake you up.
-I didn't know, I swear. I thought it was next week.
-Take it easy. We can talk about it.
-She's screaming on the street and I mean loud, but she looked good. She had these violet eyes. I remember she's screaming, but mostly I'm looking at her eyes. They were just like Elizabeth Taylor's. That's what everybody said.
-Talk? To you? After what you did!
-What're you doing? What about the car?
-What do you do?
-I'm in construction.
-Go inside. I'll be right there.
-What are you gonna do?
-My bag. My bag.
-What bag?
-The bag with the envelopes.
-I Don't know. I don't know if I could live that way. What if, God forbid, you go to prison. Mickey said Jeannie's husband --
-I'm gonna need some money.
-I don't care. Something's going on.
-Henry. Wake up.
-It's all bullshit. I swear. It's nothing. Whatever you want, we'll do.
-The truth was, that no matter how bad I felt, I was still very attracted to him. Why should I give him up to someone else? Why should she win?
-I thought you were supposed to turn yourself in at ten o'clock this morning?
-I'm just having my last few drinks.
-I've been all over town. I got a call from the bondman. He says they're going to rescind your bail if you don't show up and sign in right now. They're going to take away the house.
-You son of a bitch. She's been here.
-What are you talking about?
-Don't lie to me. I saw her name in the register.
-Jezuz Christ!
-You want her to visit you? Good! Let her stay up all night crying and writing letters to the parole board.
-Stop! Stop!
-Nobody's helping me. Tommy got four years. Marty and Fran are broke. I asked your friend Remo for the money he owed you, and you know what he told me?
-It'll be okay.
-We've got to help each other.
-Even Paulie, since he got out, I hardly see him.
-It's only you and me. That's what happens when you go away. We're on our own. Forget everybody. Forget Paulie. As long as he's on parole he doesn't want anybody doing anything.
-I can't do it anymore.
-Yes, you can. I've got it set up. We'll be fine. All I need is for you to keep bringing the stuff. I've got a guy in here from Pittsburgh who'll move it for me. Believe me, in a month we'll be fine. We won't need anybody.
-I'm afraid. I'm afraid if Paulie finds out.
-Don't worry about Paulie. Is he helping you? Is he putting food on the table? We've got to help ourselves. We just have to be careful while we do it.
-I don't want to hear about her anymore.
-Get packed. We're getting out of here.
-With what?
-Don't worry with what. You just start looking for a new place. I'm going to Pittsburgh in the morning. The guys from Pittsburgh they owe me fifteen grand from our little partnership and it's only the beginning.
-But you've got to see your parole officer in the afternoon and I promised we'd take Judy to F.A.O. Schwarz.
-I had everybody working. Even our old babysitter.
-She's beautiful. Look at her. Henry, look at her.
-Jimmy's calling every day. It's urgent.
-What did he say, exactly?
-At least Jimmy and Mickey want to help. I talk to Mickey every day. That's more than I can say for the rest.
-I told Jimmy the cops took our cars and froze our bank accounts and he offered to get me some money. Be wants to know what's happening. You gotta meet him.
-Then you're safer in here.
-Safe? Here? They'll kill me here. They're all afraid I'm gonna rat them out. People are already looking to walk away from me. I'm dead in here. You gotta get me out.
-Who's gonna do that?
-So now my plan was to stay alive long enough to sell off the dope that the cops never found and disappear for a while until I got things straightened out.
-Where's the stuff?
-What are you talking about?
-You know. The stuff I left.
-I flushed it down the toilet.
-You what?
-What did you want me to do with it? They were all over the house.
-Are you fucking nuts? That was forty, fifty thousand. I need it. I was depending on that money.
-They had a warrant. They went through everything. They would have found it. I swear.
-Shit You know they would have never found it. Why did you do it? Why did you do it? My God, why did you have to do it?
-What happened? You okay?
-I got seared.
-Okay. Don't worry about it. It's okay.
-What about the schools?
-What are we going to do with him? We can't dump him in the street.
-Keep 'em coming.
-You got money for your bullshit television, don't you? I gotta watch you swimming back and forth on TV all night long, don't I? You got money for that, but you don't have my money?
-We got a problem, that thing we took care of upstate?
-Paulie was just talking about him.
-Well, we gotta dig him up again.
-What?
-The guy just sold the property. They're gonna build condominiums and I don't want anybody digging up the little bastard.
-It's been six months.
-It's still better than letting somebody find him.
-If Paulie finds out, we got problems.
-we're gonna feed the bastard to the lions.
-What lions? I'm not going near any lions.
-For Christmas. Your share. It's just a taste.
-Jimmy.
-Give'm a drink.
-I gotta talk to you.
-Oh yeah? Anything you say.
-What's going on? What happened to Stacks? Is everything okay?
-Don't worry about it.
-There are cops all over the place.
-Paulie's gonna make him?
-What'll I tell Fran?
-Watch this.
-Come on, don't fuck around, will ya?
-I do it all the time. Bust their fucking balls.
-You want the melon?
-Nah.
-I better call again.
-What fucking good are these things? They don't fit. What do I need this for? I'm not paying for this shit.
-I can't eat, just get me some coffee.
-He was jumpy. He hadn't touched a thing. In the old days, Jimmy would have ordered doubles and eaten it all. On the surface, of course, everything was supposed to be fine. We were supposed to be discussing my case, just like we always would, but I had a feeling Jimmy was trying to sense whether I was going to rat him out to
-I think you got a good shot at beating the case.
-How?
-It's that rat bastard from Pittsburgh. He ratted you all out. He's been a rat since he got busted in Pittsburgh.
-Yeah.
-He's hiding, thE son of a bitch, in Florida.
-Yeah.
-I didn't agree to three points over the vig.- What am I nuts? I didn't need it that much.
-It's a fait accompli?
-Done.
-And Jimmy's in it, right?
-I want to talk to Jimmy.
-He heard.
-But I got two hundred and fifty coming. It's my share. Jimmy owes me.
-What happened to you?
-I can't make any more deliveries.
-Whadda you mean, you can't make any more deliveries? You're going to fuck up everything?
-It was the first time I had ever seen anyone shot.
-I You wasted eight fucking aprons on that guy. :
-Where'd you find such creeps?
-You ready?
-Yeah.
-You know what to do?
-Yeah, yeah.
-Now this is important. Make sure you leave the house when you make the call. You understand? Do you hear me? It's important. Call from an outside phone. I mean it.
-Jesus! You must think I'm dumb. What are you bugging me for? I know what to do!
-I gotta go home.
-What for? I got a pound of stuff in my jacket I've been carrying around all day. We gotta start taping it to your leg.
-Do you realize what we're involved in here now?
-I don't care. I need my hat. I won't go without it.
-Come on, relax. He's drunk. He's been locked up for six years.
-I don't give a shit. That guy's got no right.
-Tommy. He. doesn't mean anything. Forget about it.
-He's insulting me. Rat bastard. He's never been any fuckin' good.
-Tommy. Come on. Relax.
-Batts's made. His whole crew is going to be looking for him. This is fucking bad.
-You gotta help me. Okay? This girl I told you about? Diana? She's from the Five Towns. She's Jewish. She won't go out with me alone. Can you believe this shit? She's fucking prejudiced, but she's built. She's never been out with an Italian before. She says she'll only go out on a double date with her girlfriend. You believe this shit? But you
-Will you get the fuck out of here.
-Is it my fault she won't go out without her girlfriend? For Chrissake. Come on. You don't even have to stay. Jeesuz! What's the big deal?
-Tommy, don't fuck around. Put the gun away. Tommy!
-No, no. It's okay.
-Tommy, come on. Put the gun away.
-Stay there.
-Don't start. I told you to clean up. Look at this place. It's a pigpen. Look around here. Why do you think I bought you the dishwasher? Look. Look at this. There's enough powder around here to put us all away.
-I hate to do dishes.
-Hey, come on. I gotta meet somebody.
-Are you okay? What happened?
-I don't need this... You said tonight and now it's not tonight...
-It's okay. I'll make it up. I promise. Just hurry it up a little. Okay?
-How is he? Okay? Are they busting his chops?
-He's okay. They sobered him up.
-Did he say what they're asking him about?
-Jimmy. I don't know. I got so much else on my mind. I got the kids. We got no money.
-I gotta talk to him as soon as I can.
-He says he's too hot. He doesn't even know I came here today. It's like he's crazy. Jimmy.
-The third store down.
-He didn't call?
-He's with his friends.
-What kind of person doesn't call?
-He's a grown man. Be doesn't have to call every five minutes.
-If he was so grown up he'd get you two an apartment.
-Don't bring that up. You're the one who wanted us here.
-He's got your father upset. Good thing he doesn't have to go to work in the morning. Is this what he deserves?
-Ma! Please! You're driving me crazy.
-Driving you crazy? Don't get me started. You're here a month and sometimes I know he doesn't come home at all. What kind of people are these?
-Ma! Stop! What do you want me to do?
-Do? What can you do? What did you expect? He wasn't Jewish. Did you know bow they live? Your father would never stay out this late without calling. In thirty years he never stayed out all night.
-We'll pack up everything and send it to you.
-I got dry cleaning.
-Don't worry about the schools. We'll take care of the schools.
-I don't want them left back.
-They won't be left back. They'll stay in their grade.
-If you knew those fucking kids. They're nuts. Especially that Tommy. What am I going to do with them?
-But I'm worried. I'm hearing all kinds of things. Paulie. You know me all my life. I've always done the right thing.
-You think that matters? You think they give a shit about anything? The little bastards.
-But it isn't right, Paulie. That Tommy, he's making trouble for me all over town. I can't go here. I can't go there.
-You? You think you're the only one? I've talked to them a million times, but they don't listen.
-But, Paulie, please.
-Someday they'll get what's coming to them. That's the only way they'll stop.
-Paulie, I swear, I'm afraid. The guy's nuts. What do I have to do? Whatever I gotta do, I'll do.
-You want a partner?
-You guys know my cousin Mikey Sullivan?
-Yeah.
-Well you know how he loves animals right? Anyway, last week he's drivin' home...
-What? Come on!
-Two weeks? That's nothin'. My Uncle Marty? Will knows him. That guy fuckin' drinks like you've never seen! One night he was drivin' back to his house on I-93-- Statie pulls him over.
-Oh shit.
-No way! You're kiddin'!
-Who's she talking to?
---Yah, restructurin' the amount of retards they had workin' for them.
-Fuck you, you fat fuck.
-Submit, bitch! Submit! Submit!
-Suck my cock!
-Keep fuckin' with me. Watch what happens.
-All right, then.
-I've been shit faced for like two weeks.
-Chuckie, what the fuck happened?
-Yeah, so he's like "Check the front of my truck, I can prove I hit it 'cause there's probably some blood or something"--
-Stop brushin' me back!
-Casey's bouncin' at a bar up Harvard. We should go there sometime.
-What are we gonna do up there?
-I don't know, we'll fuck up some smart kids. You'd prob'ly fit right in.
-She's sharp as a marble.
-She didn't do it again did she?
-Jesus, that's really bad, did anyone even order a Flyin' Fish?
-What do we got?
-Hey, thanks for comin' out.
-When's the arraignment?
-What'd you get? You get leniency?
-Probation, counselin', few days a week.
-Who'd you call?
-I didn't get on Cathy last night.
-Why not?
-I don't know what the fuck you're doin'. You're givin' us a ride.
-What do I look like, Al Cowlins? You want to take my car, drop her off?
-Thanks, Chuck.
-How's the woman?
-Gone.
-What?
-She went to Medical school in California.
-Sorry, brother. I don't know what to tell ya. You know all the girls I been with. You been with 'em too, except for Cheryl McGovern which was a big mistake on your part brother...
-Oh I'm sure, that's why only one of us has herpes.
-Suck my crank. Fuckin' sheet metal pussy. So, when are you done with those meetin's?
-Week after I'm twenty-one.
-Are they hookin' you up with a job?
-Yeah, sit in a room and do long division for the next fifty years.
-Yah, but it's better than this shit. At least you'd make some nice bank.
-Yeah, be a fuckin' lab rat.
-It's a way outta here.
-What do I want a way outta here for? I want to live here the rest of my life. I want to be your next door neighbor. I want to take out kids to little league together up Foley Field.
-Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way, but in 20 years, if you're livin' next door to me, comin' over watchin' the fuckin' Patriots' games and still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. And that's not a threat, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you.
-Chuckie, what are you talkin'...
-Listen, you got somethin' that none of us have.
-Why is it always this? I owe it to myself? What if I don't want to?
-Fuck you. You owe it to me. Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty and I'll still be doin' this. And that's all right 'cause I'm gonna make a run at it. But you, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit 'cause I'd do anything to have what
-You don't know that.
-You and Morgan throw?
-No, I had to talk him down.
-Why didn't you yoke him?
-You're kiddin' me.
-Okay.
-What class?
-Ah, history I think.
-Oh...
-I'm glad you came by, changed my opinion of Harvard people.
-Yeah, not tonight. Not any other night. He knows, once you see that shit-hole he's gettin' dropped like a bad habit.
-Hi.
-How you doin'?
-How'd you know where to find me?
-Oh, right.
-I guess so.
-What? No. This is my mother's house. I don't live with my mother. I just stop by, help out. I'm good like that.
-Is this a bad time?
-She'll live. If she starts yelling again I might have to run in real quick and beat her with the stick again but...
-Okay.
-See, now this doesn't feel right. When I made the decision to come over here it felt right. I had all these rationalizations... I just don't understand why Will never tells me anything, he won't let me get close to him, he tells me these weird lies--
-You caught that, huh?
-I just wanted to find out what was going on...But now that I'm here it seems strange, doesn't it?
-I don't care what his family's like or if he doesn't have any brothers, but he doesn't have to lie to me.
-Is that true?
---That isn't funny--
-Jesus.
-WILL!
-Yah, that is a nice ass.
-Fuck this, let's get something to eat...
-What Morgan, you're not gonna go talk to her?
-Morgan, I'm not goin' to "Kelly's Roast Beef" just cause you like the take-out girl. It's fifteen minutes out of our way. MORGAN What else we gonna do we can't spare fifteen minutes?
-All right Morgan, fine. I'll tell you why we're not going to "Kelly's." It's because the take-out bitch is a fuckin' idiot. I'm sorry you like her but she's dumb as a post and she has never got our order right, never once.
-Would you shut the fuck up! I know what you ordered, I was there!
-So why don't you give me my sandwhich?
-What do you mean "your sandwhich?" I bought it.
-Yah, all right...
-How much money you got?
-I told you, I just got change.
-Well give me your fuckin' change and we'll put your fuckin' sandwhich on lay-away.
-Why you gotta be an asshole Chuckie?
-Did she get my Double Burger?
-Come on, Will...
-Shut up.
-Morgan, Let's go.
-You got fired from pushing a broom, you little bitch.
-My uncle can probably get you on my demo team.
-What the fuck? I just asked you for a job yesterday!
-Some other guy?
-Yeah, he was probably drunker than my Uncle, who fuckin' knows? So the cop goes "Stay here" And he goes runnin' down the highway to deal with the other crash. So, my Uncle Marty's standin' on the side of the road for a little while, and he's so fuckin' lit, that he forgets what he's waitin' for. So he goes, "Fuck it." He gets
-Holy shit.
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-Did your Uncle get arrested?
-It's a good thing no one's Irish here.
-Chuck, let's go.
-What's up guys?
-Why don't you beat off at your house?
-Oh my God, I got the most fucked up thing I been meanin' to tell you.
-Save it for your mother, funny guy. We heard it before.
-What'd you say about me?
-Hey, asshole. Happy Birthday.
-Me and Bill scraped together the parts, worked on it. Morgan was out panhandlin' every day.
-Fuck you, I did the body work. Whose fuckin' router you think sanded out all that bondo?
-I'm not sure--
-Will, our offer starts you at eighty- four thousand a year, plus benefits.
-Retainer...
-You want us to give you cash right now?
-I don't think I...Larry?
-I have about seventy-three...
-Will you take a check?
-What class did you say that was?
-History.
-How'd you like that course?
-Good, it was all right.
-Hey, come on pal we're in classes all day. That's one thing about Harvard never seizes to amaze me, everybody's talkin' about school all the time.
-To tell you the truth, I wasn't there much. The class was rather elementary.
-All right, are we gonna have a problem?
-So why do you think I should work for the National Security Agency?
-Well, you'd be working on the cutting edge. You'd be exposed to the kind of technology you couldn't see anywhere else because we've classified it. Super string theory, Chaos Math, Advanced algorithms--
-Codebreaking.
-That's one aspect of what we do.
-Come on, that's what you do. You handle more than eighty percent of the intelligence workload. You're seven times the size of the C.I.A.
-That's exactly right, Will. So the question as I see it isn't "why should you work for N.S.A." it's "why shouldn't you?"
-Okay, you're in your bed, Will. Now how old are you?
-Seven.
-And what do you see?
-Somethin's in my room.
-What is it?
-You're in a safe place, Will.
-Where is it touching you?
-Down there. And I'm nervous.
-Alexander, I know your theory. The boy is updating, he's strategy stealing...
-With a Ramses graph on the binary tree--
---But what he's doing, he's attaching an edge to the adjacent vertex. He can always failsafe to either side--
-No, there's a limit.
---Maker builds "K" to the "N." N is three to the K times--
-Excuse me. Is this the buildings and grounds office?
-Yeah, can I help you?
-I'm trying to find the name of a student who works here.
-No students work for me.
-Could you just check, because the young man who works in my building--
-Which one's your building?
-Well, if something was stolen, I should know about it.
-No, no. Nothing like that. I just need his name. TERRY I can't give you his name unless you have a complaint.
-Please, I'm a professor here and it's very important.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-What're you doing?
-What's your name? Don't you walk away from me. This is people's work, you can't graffiti here.
-Hey fuck you.
-Hello. Gerald Lambeau, M.I.T.
-Fuck do you want?
-I've spoken with the judge and he's agreed to release you under my supervision.
-Really?
-Yes. Under two conditions.
-What're those?
-If I agree to this, I walk right now?
-That's right.
-I'll do the work. I'm not going to meet with a therapist.
-This rectangle is subdivided into rectangles. One edge of an inner rectangle is an integer. Can you prove that one edge of the larger rectangle is an integer?
-Of course.
-Okay. How?
-That would be a monumental waste of time, wouldn't it, Will?
-I think so.
-What's that?
-Half-red, half-black--
---that?--
---Half-red, half-black--
---That edge!
-Shall we start the, uh...
-Oh, for God's sake, Will.
-Oh, come on! You're not pinnin' this one on me. He left, I wanted to talk to him for another twenty minutes. I was havin' fun.
-I told you to cooperate with these people.
-Get out, Will.
-Okay...don't forget to get another therapist for next week.
-No.
-This is correct. I see you used Mclullen here--
-I don't know what it's called.
---This can't be right. This is going to be very embarrassing. Have you ever considered--
-Can I ask you a favor, can we do this at Sean's from now on? 'Cause I leave work to come here and the fuckin' commute is killin' me--
-That's fine, but did you ever think--
-It's right. Take it home with you.
-Will, what happened at the Tri-tech meeting?
-I couldn't go 'cause I had a date. So I sent my cheif negotiator.
-Will, on your own time, you can do what you like. When I set up a meeting, with my associates, and you don't show up it reflects poorly on me.
-Then don't set up any more meetings.
-I'll cancel every meeting right now. I'll give you a job myself. I just wanted you to see what was out there.
---Maybe I don't want to spend my life sittin' around and explaining shit to people.
-The least you can do is show me a little appreciation.
---You know how fuckin' easy this is to me? This is a joke! And I'm sorry you can't do this. I really am. 'Cause if you could I wouldn't be forced to watch you fumble around and fuck it up.
-Well, I'm sorry.
-What are you smiling at?
-I can come back.
-Will.
-Hey, how you doin'?
-You know, you're no longer required to come here.
-I was just sayin' goodbye to Sean.
-Thank you.
-I just want you to know...It's been a pleasure.
-This job... Do it if it's what you really want.
-Yes.
-Listen, I'll be nearby so, if you need some help, or you get stuck again, don't be afraid to give me a call.
-Excuse me, Professor Lambeau?
-Yes.
-I'm in your applied theories class. We're all down at the Math and Science building.
-It's Saturday.
-I know. We just couldn't wait 'till Monday to find out.
-Find out what?
-Good to meet you.
-Excuse me, Timmy. Could you help us? We're trying to settle a bet.
-Uh-oh.
-Have you heard of Jonas Salk?
-Yeah, cured polio.
-How about Gerald Lambeau? Ever heard of him?
-No. LAMBEAU Okay thank you, Timmy.
-So who won the bet?
-Sean.
-Hello.
-Good to see you.
-Good to see you.
-I didn't see you at the reunion.
-I've been busy.
-You were missed. How long has it been since we've seen each other?
-Since Nancy died.
-I'm sorry, that damn conference--
-I've been busy, Gerry. I got a full schedule.
-This kid's special, Sean. I've never seen anything like him.
-Yeah.
-And he mailed it to Hardy--
---That's right, Sean. He mailed it to a professor at Cambridge who immediately recognized the brilliance in his work and brought Ramanujan to England.
-Where he contracted pneumonia and died at a young age--
-They worked together for the remainder of their lives, producing some of the most exciting math theory ever done. Ramanujan's genius was unparalleled, Sean. This boy is like that. But he's very defensive and I need someone who can get through to him.
-Why me?
-I need someone with your kind of background.
-My kind of background?
-You're from the same neighborhood. South Boston.
-He's from Southie? How many people did you try before you came to me?
-Not Rick? You didn't send him to Rick?
-Just meet with the boy once a week.
-Can we do it at my office?
-I got it.
-Any vulnerability he senses, he'll exploit.
-I'll be okay.
-Would you excuse us?
-Tom.
-What do you mean "he didn't talk?" You sat there for an hour?
-No, he just sat there and counted the seconds until the session was over. It was pretty impressive, actually.
-Why would he do that?
-To show me he doesn't have to talk to me if he doesn't want to.
-Oh, what is this? Some kind of staring contest between two kids from the "old neighborhood?"
-Gerry! Any trouble finding the place?
-Not at all.
-You're here quite a bit, then.
-I live right around the corner.
-You moved?
-Seems like it's going well.
-I think so.
-Well, have you talked to him at all about his future?
-We haven't really gotten into it. LAMBEAU Maybe you should. My phone's been ringing off the hook with job offers.
-Jobs doing what?
-Cutting edge mathematics. Think tanks. The kind of place where a mind like Will's is given free reign.
-That's great, Gerry, that there's interest-- But I'm not sure he's ready for that.
-Sean, I really don't think you understand--
-He married his cousin.
-Who?
-You see, Sean? That's exactly not the point. No one remembers that. They--
-I do.
-Just...take it easy, Gerry.
-Look, I don't know what else I can say. I'm not sitting at home every night, twisting my mustache and hatching a plan to ruin the boy's life. But it's important to start early. I was doing advanced mathematics at eighteen and it still took me twenty-three years to do something worthy of a Field's medal.
-Sean, this is important. And it's above personal rivalry--
-Now wait a minute, Gerry--
---No, no you hear me out, Sean. This young man is a true prodigy--
---Personal rivalry? I'm not getting back at you.
-Look, you took one road and I took another. That's fine.
-Is it Gerry? 'Cause I don't think it's fine with you. Give him time to figure out what he wants.
-This is a disaster! I brought you in here to help me with this boy, not to run him out--
-Now wait a minute--
---And confuse him--
---Gerry--
---And here I am for the second week in a row with my professional reputation at stake--
-Hold on!
---Ready to falsify documents because you've given him license to walk away from this.
-I know what I'm doing and I know why I'm here!
-Look Sean, I don't care if you have a rapport with the boy-- I don't care if you have a few laughs-- even at my expense! But don't you dare undermine what I'm trying to do here.
-"Undermine?"
-He has a gift and with that gift comes responsibility. And you don't understand that he's at a fragile point--
-He is at a fragile point. He's got problems--
-What problems does he have, Sean, that he is better off as a janitor or in jail or hanging around with--
-Why do you think he does that, Gerry?
-He can handle the work, he can handle the pressure and he's obviously handled you.
-Why is he hiding? Why is he a janitor? Why doesn't he trust anybody? Because the first thing that happened to him was that he was abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him the most!
-Oh, come on, Sean--
---And why does he hang out with his friends? Because any one of those kids would come in here and take a bat to your head if he asked them to. It's called loyalty!
-Oh, that's nice--
---And who do you think he's handling? He pushes people away before they have a chance to leave him. And for 20 years he's been alone because of that. And if you try to push him into this, it's going to be the same thing all over again. And I'm not going to let that happen to him!
-Now don't do that. Don't you do that! Don't infect him with the idea that it's okay to quit. That it's okay to be a failure, because it's not okay! If you're angry at me for being successful, for being what you could have been--
---I'm not angry at you--
---Yes you are, Sean. You resent me. And I'm not going to apologize for any success that I've had.
---I don't have any anger at you--
-Yes you do. You're angry at me for doing what you could have done. Ask yourself if you want Will to feel that way for the rest of his life, to feel like a failure.
-That's it. That's why I don't come to the goddamn reunions! Becaue I can't stand the look in your eye when you see me! You think I'm a failure! I know who I am. I'm proud of who I am. And all of you, you think I'm some kind of pity case! You with your sycophant students following you around. And you Goddamn Medal!
---Is that what this is about, Sean? The Field's Medal? Do you want me to go home and get it for you? Then will you let the boy--
---I don't want your trophy and I don't give a shit about it! 'Cause I knew you when!! You and Jack and Tom Sanders. I knew you when you were homesick and pimply-faced and didn't know what side of the bed to piss on!
-That's right! You were smarter than us then and you're smarter than us now! So don't blame me for how your life turned out. It's not my fault.
-I don't blame you! It's not about that! It's about the boy! 'Cause he's a good kid! And I won't see this happen to him-- I won't see you make him feel like a failure too!
-He won't be a failure!
-If you push him into something, if you ride him--
-You're wrong, Sean. I'm where I am today because I was pushed. And because I learned to push myself!
-Hello, Sean.
-Come in.
-Sean...
-So I hear you're taking some time.
-Yeah. Summer vacation. Thought I'd travel some. Maybe write a little bit.
-Where're you going?
-I don't know. India maybe.
-Why there?
-Do you know when you'll be back?
-I got this mailer the other day. Class of Sixty-five is having this event in six months.
-I got one of those too.
-How about one now?
-Sean, do you have any idea what the odds are against winning the lottery?
-I don't know... Gotta be at least four to one.
-About thirty million to one.
-You're pretty quick with those numbers. How about the odds of me buying the first round?
-I called Mel Weintraub this morning, to check for availability.
-What's the point?
-What do you want to do?
-There is somebody...
-Who is he?
-What should I do?
-It's walkin' pretty slow at this point.
-I could go for a Whopper.
-Well, she out did herself today...
-What happened? You got fired, huh?
-Yeah, Morgan. I got fired.
-There goes that fuckin' Barney right now, with his fuckin' "skiin' trip." We should'a kicked that dude's ass.
-Will, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all wrecked. What's she gonna think about us?
-So, you finally got a job Morgan?
-Had one, now I'm fucked again.
-That's why I love stock-car racin'. That Dale Ernhart's real good.
-Now you know Will, and I know, what you need to be doing. You have a gift.
-I could work the pit maybe, but I could never drive like Dale Ernhart--
---you have a quality-- something you were born with, that you have no control over- and you are, in a sense, hiding that by becoming a janitor. And I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm friends with the janitor that works in my building. He's been to my house for dinner. As a matter of fact I did some free consultation for "Mike" -- that's
-Yeah, I read your book. "Mike" had the same problems as "Chad" the stockbroker.
-Yes. The pressures you feel, and again, I am neither labeling nor judging them, are keeping you from fulfilling your potential -- you're in a rut. So stop the Tom Foolery -- the Shenanigan's, Will.
-You're right. I know.
-Will, your not getting off that easy.
-No, but, I mean you know...I do other things. That no one knows about.
-Like what, Will?
-I go places, I interact.
-What places?
-I might understand that.
-Do you find it hard to hide the fact that you're gay?
-What?
-C'mon, I read your book. I talked to you. It's just something I know to be true.
-That's very presumptuous.
-Buddy, two seconds ago you were ready to give me a jump.
-Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married and I have two children.
-I'm sure you do. You probably got a real nice house, nice car -- your book's a best seller.
-You're getting defensive, Will.
-Look, man. I don't care if you're putting from the rough. There are solid arguments that some of the greatest people in history were gay; Alexander the Great, Caeser, Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Napoleon, Gertrude Stein, not to mention Danny Terrio, not many straight men can dance like that.
-Who is "Danny Terrio?"
-Well, I can see this is pointless...
-Did you buy all these books retail, or do you send away for like a "shrink kit" that comes with all these volumes included?
-Have you read all these books, Will?
-Probably not.
-Yeah, I read those.
-What did you think?
-I'm not here for a fuckin' book report. They're your books, why don't you read 'em?
-I did.
-That must have taken you a long time.
-"A History of the United States, Volume I." If you want to read a real history book, read Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States." That book will knock you on your ass.
-How about Noam Chomsky's "Manufacturing Consent?"
-You people baffle me. You spend all this money on beautiful, fancy books-- and they're the wrong fuckin' books.
-You think so?
-Guy your age shouldn't smoke so much. Stunt your growth.
-Yes, I do.
-Nautilus?
-Free weights. WILL Oh yeah? Me too. What do you bench?
-285.
-Yeah. Do you paint?
-No.
-Crayons?
-This is a real piece of shit.
-Tell me what you really think.
-Poor color composition, lousy use of space. But that shit doesn't really concern me.
-What does?
-The color here, see how dark it is? It's interesting.
-What is?
-I think you're one step away from cutting your ear off.
-Oh, "Starry Night" time, huh?
-You ever heard the saying, "any port in a storm?"
-Sure, how 'bout "still waters run deep"--
---Well, maybe that means you.
-Maybe you should be a patient and sit down.
-Maybe you married the wrong woman.
-Watch your mouth.
-If you ever disrespect my wife again...I will end you.
-So what's with this place? You have a swan fetish? Is this something you'd like to talk about?
-I was thinking about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. I stayed up half the night thinking about it and then something occured to me and I fell into a deep peaceful sleep and haven't thought about you since. You know what occurred to me?
-No.
-You're just a boy. You don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about.
-Why thank you.
-You've never been out of Boston.
-No.
-You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and is like "we'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," and does his thing, then he puts the mike down but forgets to turn it off. Then he says "man, all I want right now is a blow-job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess goes runnin'
-You've never been on a plane.
-Yeah? You got a lady now?
-Yeah, I went on a date last week.
-How'd it go?
-Fine.
-Well, are you going out again?
-I don't know.
-Why not?
-Haven't called her.
-Jesus Christ, you are an amateur.
-I know what I'm doing. She's different from the other girls I met. We have a really good time. She's smart, beautiful, fun...
-So Christ, call her up.
-Why? So I can realize she's not so smart. That she's boring. You don't get it. Right now she's perfect, I don't want to ruin that.
-I teach this shit, I didn't say I knew how to do it.
-You ever think about gettin' remarried?
-My wife's dead.
-Hence, the word remarried.
-My wife's dead.
-Really? How'd the date go? WILL Do you still counsel veterans? I read your book last night.
-No, I don't.
-Why not?
-I gave that up when my wife got sick.
-Is that why you didn't write anything else?
-I didn't write anything else 'cause nobody, including most of my colleagues bothered to read the first one.
-Well, I've read you colleagues. Your book was good, Sean. All those guys were in your platoon?
-Yeah.
-What happened to that guy from Kentucky?
-Lon? He got married. He has a kid. I kind of lost touch with him after Nancy got sick.
-Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you never met your wife?
-You don't regret meetin' your wife?
-Why? Because of the pain I feel now? I have regrets Will, but I don't regret a singel day I spent with her.
-When did you know she was the one?
-October 21, 1975. Game six of the World Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history, Me and my friends slept out on the sidewalk all night to get tickets. We were sitting in a bar waiting for the game to start and in walks this girl. What a game that was. Tie game in the bottom of the tenth inning, in steps Carlton Fisk,
-Where were you?
-I was havin' a drink with my future wife.
-You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun to have a drink with a woman you had never met?
-That's right.
-So wait a minute. The Red Sox haven't won a World Series since nineteen eighteen, you slept out for tickets, games gonna start in twenty minutes, in walks a girl you never seen before, and you give your ticket away?
-You should have seen this girl. She lit up the room.
-I just slid my ticket across the table and said "sorry fellas, I gotta go see about a girl."
-"I gotta go see about a girl"? What did they say?
-They could see that I meant it.
-You're kiddin' me.
-Would have been nice to catch that game though.
-So you might be working for Uncle Sam.
-I don't know.
-Gerry says the meeting went well.
-I guess.
-What did you think?
-Do you think you're alone?
-What?
-Do you have a soul-mate?
-Define that.
-Someone who challenges you in every way. Who takes you places, opens things up for you. A soul-mate.
-They're all dead.
-Not to me, they're not.
-But you can't give back to them, Will.
-Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts, no...
-That's what I'm saying, Will. You'll never have that kind of relationship in a world where you're afraid to take the first step because all you're seeing are the negative things that might happen ten miles down the road.
-Oh, what? You're going to take the professor's side on this?
-Don't give me you line of shit.
-I didn't want the job.
-It's not about that job. I'm not saying you should work for the government. But, you could do anything you want. And there are people who work their whole lives layin' brick so their kids have a chance at the kind of opportunity you have. What do you want to do?
-I didn't ask for this.
-Nobody gets what they ask for, Will. That's a cop-out.
-Why is it a cop-out? I don't see anythin' wrong with layin' brick, that's somebody's home I'm buildin'. Or fixin' somebody's car, somebody's gonna get to work the next day 'cause of me. There's honor in that.
-What?
-If you won't answer my questions, you're wasting my time.
-I been there. I played my hand.
-That's right. And you fuckin' lost! And some people would have the sack to lose a big hand like that and still come back and ante up again!
-Well, I'm here. So, is that my problem? I'm afraid of being abandoned? That was easy.
-Look, a lot of that stuff goes back a long way. And it's between me and him and it has nothing to do with you.
-Oh, this is your file. I have to send it back to the Judge with my evaluation.
-You want to read it?
-No. Have you had any experience with that?
-Twenty years of counselling you see a lot of--
---No, have you had any experience with that?
-Yes.
-Gotta go with the belt there...
-I used to go with the wrench.
-The wrench, why?
-Oh, I know.
-It's not your fault.
-I know.
-It's not your fault.
-I know.
-It's not your fault.
-I know.
-It's not your fault.
-Don't fuck with me.
-It's not your fault.
-I know.
-It's not...
-Which one did you take, Will?
-Over at Tri-tech. One of the jobs Professor Lambeau set me up with. I haven't told him yet, but I talked to my new boss over there and he seemed like a nice guy.
-That's what you want?
-Yeah, I think so.
-Good for you. Congratulations.
-Thanks you. So, that's it? We're done?
-I just want you to know, Sean...
-You're Welcome, Will.
-I'll keep in touch.
-No. Thank you.
-Does this violate the patient/doctor relationship?
-See ya.
-You suck.
-What?
-I've been sitting over there for forty- five minutes waiting for you to come talk to me. But I'm just tired now and I have to go home and I wasn't going to keep sitting there waiting for you.
-I'm Will.
-Skylar. And by the way. That guy over there is a real dick and I just wanted you to know he didn't come with us.
-I kind of got that impression.
-Well, look, I have to go. Gotta' get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.
-I didn't mean you. Listen, maybe...
-Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
-What?
-When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
-Five minutes.
-What?
-I was trying to be smooth. But at twelve-fifteen I was gonna come over there and talk to you.
-See, it's my life story. Five more minutes and I would have got to hear your best pick-up line.
-Yeah?
-It's Will, the really funny good looking guy you met at the bar?
-I'm sorry, I don't recall meeting anyone who fits that description.
-Okay, you got me. It's the ugly, obnoxious, toothless loser who got drunk and wouldn't leave you alone all night.
-Oh Will! I was wondering when you'd call.
-Yeah, I figured maybe sometime this week we could go to a cafe and have some caramels.
-Sounds good, where are you now?
-I don't know, it was just kind of the boring suburban thing. Private school, Harvard, and now Med. School. I actually figured out that at the end of it, my brain will be worth a quarter of a million dollars. I shouldn't have told you that...
-I bet your parents were happy to pay.
-I was happy to pay. I inherited the money.
-Is Harvard gettin' all that money?
-Stanford. I'm leaving in June after I graduate.
-So you just want to use me and go?
-Well, I'm gonna experiment on you for my anatomy class, then go.
-In that case, fine. Want to see my magic trick?
-Now, I'm gonna make all these caramels disappear.
-Have you ever seen Annie Hall?
-No.
-I really don't 'date' that much.
-You know what I mean. I know you've at least thought about it.
-No I haven't...
-Yes you have. You were thinking you were gonna get a good night kiss.
-No I wasn't...
-Yes you were.
-Oh, you will?
-No...I was hoping to get a kiss.
-Free?
-You grew up around here?
-Not far from here, South Boston.
-How was that?
-I bet you have a great family.
-You know, nothing special.
-You have a lot of brothers and sisters?
-Do I have a lot of brothers and sisters?
-Yeah.
-Well, Irish Catholic. What do you think?
-How many?
-You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
-I have twelve big brothers.
-Not a chance.
-Yup, you're lookin' at lucky thirteen.
-Bullshit.
-I swear to God.
-Your house must have been a zoo.
-It was great. There was always someone to play with, give you advice.
-Do you know all their names?
-'Course I do, they're my brothers.
-Well...
-Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
-Do you keep in touch with them?
-I want to meet them.
-Where have you been?
-I'm sorry, I been real busy.
-You were busy? You know, I really was waiting for you to call me.
-Sorry. I'm sorry. Give me another crack at it. Let me take you out.
-Promise?
-I couldn't wait till tomorrow.
-How the hell did you do that?
-Didn't your mother ever tell you not to look a gift horse n the mouth?
-I'm supposed to understand this.
-You're not going into surgery tomorrow are you?
-No.
-Why do we always stay here?
-'Cause it's nicer than my place.
-I've never seen your place.
-Exactly.
-What about your friends? Or your brothers? When do I get to meet them?
-They don't come over here that much.
-I think I can make it to South Boston.
-Aah, it's kind of a hike.
-Is it me you're hiding from them or the other way around?
-All right, all right. We'll go.
-When?
-Sometime. I don't know. Next week.
-What if I said I wouldn't sleep with you again until you let me meet your friends?
-You men are shameful. If you're not thinking of your weiner then you're acting on its behalf.
-I thought you said you'd show me your place.
-How's it goin'?
-Fine.
-Want me to take a look?
-No.
-C'mon, give me a peek and we'll go to the battin' cages.
-It's important that I learn this.
-Why is it important to you? If I inherited all that money, the only thing important to me would be workin' on my swing.
-Clearly.
-You're rich. What do you have to worry about?
-Rich? I have an inheritance. It's two handred and fifty thousand dollars. That's exactly what it'll cost me, minus about five hundred bucks, to go all the way through med school. This is what I'm doing with that money. I could have done anything I wanted. I could have expanded my wardrobe, substantially.
-All right, Mr. Nosey Parker. Let me ask you a question? Do you have a photographic memory?
-I guess. I don't know. How do you remember your phone number?
-Have you ever studied Organic Chemistry?
-Some, a little.
-Just for fun?
-I guess so.
-Nobody does organic chemistry for "fun." It's unnecessary. Especially for someone like you.
-Like me?
-Do you play the piano?
-Come one Will. I just want to know.
-I'm trying to explain it to you. So you play the piano. When you look at the keys, you see music, you see Mozart.
-I see "Hot Cross Buns," but okay.
-Well all right, Beethoven. He looked at a piano and saw music. The fuckin' guy was deaf when he composed the Ode to Joy. They had to turn him around to take a bow because he couldn't hear the crowd going crazy behind him. Stone deaf. He saw all of that music in his head.
-So, do you play the piano?
-Not a lick. I look at a piano and I see black and white keys, three pedals and a box of wood. Beethoven, Mozart, they looked at it and it just made sense to them. They saw a piano and they could play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway Park and I can't play the
---But you can do my O-chem lab in under an hour, you can--
-Will? Are you awake?
-No.
-Come with me to California.
-What?
-I want you to come with me.
-How do you know that?
-I know. I just do.
-Yeah, but how do you know?
-I don't know. I just feel it.
-And you're sure about that?
-Yeah, I'm sure.
-'Cause that's a serious thing you're sayin'. I mean, we might be in California next week and you could find out somethin' about me that you don't like. And you might feel like "hey this is a big mistake." But you can't take it back, 'cause you know it's real serious and you can't take somethin' like that back. Now I'm in California, 'cause
-"Take-back?" What is that? I don't want a take-back. I want you to come to California with me.
-I can't go out to California.
-Why not?
-One, because I have a job here and two because I live here--
-Look, Will if you're not in love with me, you can say that.
-I'm not sayin' I'm not in love with you.
-Then what are you afraid of?
-What do you mean "What am I afraid of?"
-Why won't you come with me? What are you so scared of?
-What am I scared of?
-Well, what aren't you scared of? You live in your safe little world where nobody challenges you and you're scared shitless to do anything else--
---Don't tell me about my world. You're the one that's afraid. You just want to have your little fling with the guy from the other side of town and marry--
-Is that what you think--
---some prick from Stanford that your parents will approve of. Then you'll sit around with the rest of the upper crust kids and talk about how you went slummin' too.
-I inherited that money when I was thirteen, when my father died.
-At least you have a mother.
-Fuck you! You think I want this? That money's a burden to me. Every day I wake up and I wish I could give that back. I'd give everything I have back to spend one more day with my father. But that's life. And I deal with it. So don't put that shit on me. You're the one that's afraid.
-What the fuck am I afraid of?!
-You're afraid of me. You're afraid that I won't love you back. And guess what? I'm afraid too. But at least I have the balls to it give it a shot. At least I'm honest with you.
-I'm not honest?
-What about your twelve brothers?
-Oh, is that what this is about? You want to hear that I don't really have any brothers? That I'm a fuckin' orphan? Is that what you want to hear?
-Yes, Will. I didn't even know that?
-No, you don't want to hear that.
-Yes, I do, Will.
-Yes I do. Did you ever think that maybe I could help you? That maybe that's the point, that we're a team?
-What, you want to come in here and save me? Is that what you want to do? Do I have a sign that says "save me" on my back?
-Don't bullshit me! Don't fuckin' bullshit me!
-I just wanted to call before you left. I'm takin' all these job interviews. So I won't just be a construction worker.
-Yeah.
-Take care.
-You doin' the hirin'?
-All right, mister. I'll go. You just show your license to contrack, an' then you make out a order--where an' when an' how much you gonna pay--an' you sign it an' we'll go.
-You trying to tell me how to run my own business?
-'F we're workin' for you, it's our business too. An' how do we know-- --you ain't one a the guys that sent these things out?
-Twicet now I've fell for that line. Maybe he needs a thousan' men. So he get's five thousan' there, an' he'll pay fifteen cents a hour. An' you guys'll have to take it 'cause you'll be hungry. 'F he wants to hire men, let him write it out an' say what he's gonna pay. Ast to see his license. He ain't allowed by law
-She'll prob'ly ride like a bull calf-- but she'll ride!
-Will ya look at her!
-Leave him alone, Ma--Al's just billy- goatin' around--
-Ready, Pa?
-Twenty days work, oh boy!
-Go on. Get in your tent. You don't know nothin'.
-How 'bout you?
-*Some*body got to take the blame. They just *got* to hang it on somebody, you know. An' I ain't doin' nothin' but set around.
-But ain't no reason--
-Lissen. I don't care nothin' about you, but if you mess in this, your whole fambly li'ble to get in trouble, an' Tom get sent back to the penitentiary.
-Okay. I think you're a darn fool, though.
-Ain't you gonna look back, Ma?--give the ol' place a last look?
-We're goin' to California, ain't we? Awright then, let's *go* to California.
-That don't sound like you, Ma. You never was like that before.
-I'd come back--
-But it ain't runnin' away, Ma. All I wanta do is go away with another fella an' look aroun' for work by ourself--
-Ready, Ma?
-Maybe. Maybe twenny days work, maybe *no* days work. We ain't got it till we get it.
-Whatsa matter, Ma? Gettin' scared?
-No. Ain't ever gonna be scared no more. I was, though. For a while I thought we was beat--*good* an' beat. Looked like we didn't have nothin' in the worl' but enemies--wasn't *no*body frien'ly anymore. It made me feel bad an' scared too--like we was lost... an' nobody cared.
-Woman can change better'n a man. Man lives in jerks--baby born, or somebody dies, that's a jerk--gets a farm, or loses one, an' that's a jerk. With a woman it's all one flow, like a stream, little eddies, little waterfalls, but the river it goes right on. Woman looks at it like that.
-Well, you said anybody can waltz... How'm *I* doin'?
-Don't hold me so tight.
-Why, I ain't hardly touchin' you!
-You're *ticklin' me!*
-That comes from not holdin' you tight *enough.*
-You bust outa jail, Tom?
-Naw. They paroled me.
-What a place! How'd you like to walk acrost her?
-People done it. If they could, we could.
-Lots must a died, too.
-Tom? You can come on. They gone.
-Maybe the road's out.
-Think I'll look aroun' an' see if I can't meet me a girl.
-She's hotter'n a heifer.
-Any gas?
-Gallon or two?
-Looks like about a mile. Reckon she'll make it?
-You mean that hitch-hiker? Little short fella with a pale face?
-I guess that's what he looked like.
-We just picked him up on the way in. He went away this mornin' when the rate dropped.
-What'd he look like again?
-Short fella. Pale face.
-Was he bruised up this mornin'? About the face?
-I didn't see nothin'.
-Kinda pie y'got?
-Banana cream, pineapple cream, chocolate cream--and apple.
-Them wasn't two-for-a-cent candy.
-What's it to you?
-So long.
-Want to work?
-Sure, but what is this?
-That's not your affair. Name.
-Joad.
-How many men?
-Four.
-Women?
-Two.
-Kids?
-Two.
-Can all of you work?
-Why, I guess so.
-House 25. Number's on the door.
-Okay, mister. Whatcha payin'?
-Two and a half cents.
-Two an' a half! Say, mister, a man can't make his dinner on that.
-Take it or leave it. There's 200 men coming from the South that'll be glad to get it.
-But--but how we gonna eat?
-Look, I didn't set the price. I'm just working here. If you want it, take it. If you don't, turn right around and beat it.
-Open up! We hear you got a riot.
-Riot? I don't see no riot. Who're you?
-Deputy sheriffs.
-Got a warrant?
-We don't need a warrant if it's a riot.
-I don't mean to be nosy, y'understand. I just got to have certain information. What's your name?
-Joad. Tom Joad.
-Camp site costs a dollar a week, but you can work it out, carrying garbage, keeping the camp clean--stuff like that.
-We'll work it out. What's this committee you talkin' about?
-We got five sanitary units. Each one elects a central committee man. They make the laws, an' what they say goes.
-Are you aimin' to tell me that the fellas that run this camp is jus' fellas--campin' here?
-That's the way it is.
-An' you say no cops?
-No cop can come in here without a warrant.
-I can't hardly believe it. Camp I was in once, they burned it out--the deputies an' some of them poolroom fellas.
-They don't get in here. Sometimes the boys patrol the fences, especially dance nights.
-You got dances too?
-We got the best dances in the county every Saturday night.
-Say, who runs this place?
-Government.
-Why ain't they more like it?
-*You* find out, I can't.
-Anything like work aroun' here?
-Can't promise you that, but there'll be a licensed agent here tomorrow mornin', if you want to talk to him.
-Ma's shore gonna like it here. She ain't been treated decent for a long time.
-That cut you got?
-Crate fell on me.
-Better take care of it. Store manager'll give you some stuff for it in the morning. Goodnight.
-Say, ain't you young Tom Joad--ol' Tom's boy?
-Yeah. On my way home now.
-Well, I do declare! I baptized you, son.
-Why, you're the preacher!
-*Used* to be. Not no more. I lost the call. But boy, I sure *used* to have it! I'd get an irrigation ditch so squirmin' full of repented sinners I pretty near *drowned* half of 'em! But not no more. I lost the sperit.
-Pa always said you was never cut out to be a preacher.
-I got nothin' to preach about no more--that's all. I ain't so sure o' things.
-Maybe you should a got yourself a wife.
-At my meetin's I used to get the girls glory-shoutin' till they about passed out. Then, I'd go to comfort 'em--and always end up by lovin' 'em. I'd feel bad, an' pray, an' pray, but it didn't do no good. Next time, do it again. I figgered there just wasn't no hope for me.
-I never let one go by me when I could catch her.
-But you wasn't a preacher. A girl was just a girl to you. But to me they was holy vessels. I was savin' their souls. I ast myself--what *is* this call, the Holy Sperit? Maybe *that's* love. Why, I love everybody so much I'm fit to bust sometimes! So maybe there ain't no sin an' there ain't no virtue. There's just what people do.
-Have a little snort?
-Course I'll say grace if somebody sets out the food-- --but my heart ain't in it. Nice drinkin' liquor.
-Ought to be. That's fact'ry liquor. Cost me a buck.
-Been out travelin' around?
-Didn't you hear? It was in the papers.
-No, I never. What?
-I been in the penitentiary for four years.
-Excuse me for asking.
-I don't mind any more. I'd do what I done again. I killed a guy at a dance. We was drunk. He got a knife in me and I laid him out with a shovel. Knocked his head plumb to squash.
-And you ain't ashamed?
-He had a knife in me. That's why they only gave me seven years. Got out in four--parole.
-Ain't you seen your folks since then?
-No, but I aim to before sundown. Gettin' kind of excited about it, too. Which way you going?
-Maybe Ma'll have pork for supper. I ain't had pork but four times in four years--every Christmas.
-I'll be glad to see you pa. Last time I seen him was at a baptizin', an' he had one a the bigges' doses of the Holy Sperit I ever seen. He go to jumpin' over bushes, howlin' like a dog-wolf in moon-time. Fin'ly he picks hisself out a bush big as a piana an' he let out a squawk an' took a run
-Lissen. This wind's fixin't to *do* somepin'!
-Is it fur?
-Your granma was a great one, too. The third time she got religion she go it so powerful she knocked down a full-growed deacon with her fist.
-They're all gone--or dead.
-They never wrote you nothing?
-This used to be mine. I give it to Grampa when I went away. You reckon they could be dead?
-This is Muley Graves. You remember the preacher, don't you?
-I ain't no preacher anymore.
-She's settlin'.
-What you figger to do?
-Think she'll hold?
-I ain't no more a preacher, you know.
-We know. But ain't none of our folks ever been buried without a few words.
-How about us? Is that the truth for us?
-Gimme that gun. Now git outa here. Go down in them willows an' wait.
-I ain't gonna run.
-He seen you, Tom! You wanta be fingerprinted? You wanta get sent back for breakin' parole?
-You're right!
-What's the matter?
-Casy! What you doin' here?
-Well, if it ain't Tom Joad. How ya, boy?
-Thought you was in jail.
-Lookie, Tom. We come to work here. They tell us it's gonna be fi' cents. But they was a whole lot of us, so the man says two an' a half cents. Well, a fella can't even eat on that, an' if he got kids... So we says we won't take it. So they druv us off. Now they're payin' you five--but when they
-I dunno. Payin' five now.
-I don't expeck we can las' much longer-- some a the folks ain't et for two days. You goin' back tonight?
-I aim to.
-I'll tell 'em. But I don't know how. Never seen so many guys with guns. Wouldn't even let us talk today.
-Try an' tell 'em, Tom. They'll get two an' a half, jus' the minute we're gone. An' you know what that is? That's one ton a peaches picked an' carried for a dollar. That way you can't even buy food enough to keep you alive! Tell 'em to come out with us, Tom! Them peaches is *ripe*. Two days out an' they'll pay *all*
-They won't. They're a-gettin' five an' they don't care about nothin' else.
-I guess that's right. Have to take a beatin' before he'll know.
-We was outa food. Tonight we had meat. Not much, but we had it. Think Pa's gonna give up his meat on account a other fellas? An' Rosasharn needs milk. Think Ma's gonna starve that baby jus' cause a bunch a fellas is yellin' outside a gate?
-Can't tell if you hear it or not. You hear it, Tom?
-Seems like we wasn't never gonna do nothin' but move. I'm so tar'd.
-Women is always tar'd.
-You ain't--you ain't sorry, are you, honey?
-No, but--but you seen that advertisement in the Spicy Western Story magazine. Don't pay nothin'. Jus' send 'em the coupon an' you're a radio expert--nice clean work.
-But we can still do it, honey.
-They shore don't waste no time! Take her out.
-Save your strength, lady. Get goin', buddy. No campin' here.
-We ain't campin'. We jus' stoppin' a minute--
-Fella named Spencer sent us--said they was work pickin' peaches.
-Want to work, do you?
-Sure do.
-Pull up behind that car. Okay for this one. Take 'em through.
-What's the matter? What's happened?
-I don't like nobody drawin' a bead on me.
-Then what are you doin' this kind a thing for--against your own people?
-For three dollars a day, that's what I'm doin' it for. I got two little kids. I got a wife and my wife's mother. Them people got to eat. Fust and on'y thing I got to think about is my own folks. What happens to other folks is their lookout.
-But this is *my land*, son. Don't you understand?
-Have it your own way, son, but just as sure as you touch my house with that cat I'm gonna blow you plumb to kingdom come.
-How about a lift, mister?
-Goin' far?
-Just a few miles. I'd a walked her if my dogs wasn't pooped out.
-Lookin' for a job?
-No, my old man got a place, forty acres. He's a sharecropper, but we been there a long time.
-Been doin' a job?
-Yeah.
-I seen your hands. You been swinging a pick or a sledge--that shines up your hands. I notice little things like that all the time. Got a trade?
-Why don't you get to it, buddy?
-Get to what?
-You know what I mean. You been givin' me a goin' over ever since I got in. Whyn't you go on and ask me where I been?
-I don't stick my nose in nobody's business.
-Naw--not much!
-I stay in my own yard.
-Listen. That big nose of yours been goin' over me like a sheep in a vegetable patch. But I ain't keepin' it a secret. I been in the penitentiary. Been there four years. Like to know anything else?
-You ain't got to get sore.
-Go ahead. Ask me anything you want.
-I didn't mean nothing.
-Me neither. I'm just tryin' to get along without shovin' anybody around, that's all. See that road up ahead?
-Yeah.
-I never asked you!
-You people got a lotta nerve.
-What you mean?
-Crossin' the desert in a jalopy like this.
-You been acrost?
-Sure, plenty, but not in no wreck like this.
-If we broke down maybe somebody'd give us a han'.
-Well, maybe. But I'd hate to be doin' it. Takes more nerve than I got.
-Workin'. Pickin' peaches. But I seen a bunch a fellas yellin' when we come in, so I come out to see what's goin' on. What's it all about?
-This here's a strike.
-Well, fi' cents a box ain't much, but a fella can eat.
-Fi' cents! They pain' you fi' cents?
-An' the nex' thing you know you'll be out, because they got it all figgered down to a T--until the harvest is in you're a *migrant* worker--afterwards, just a bum.
-What's he fixin' to do, ma?
-I could break up some bresh if you want me, ma'am.
-You want to get ast to eat, hunh?
-Yes, ma'am.
-Didn' you have no breakfast?
-No, ma'am. They ain't no work hereabouts. Pa's in tryin' to sell some stuff to get gas so's we can get along.
-What you mean you ain't goin'? We *got* to go. We got no place to stay.
-I ain't talkin' about you, I'm talkin' about me. And I'm a-stayin'. I give her a good goin' over all night long-- and I'm a-stayin'.
-But you can't *do* that, Grampa. This here land is goin' under the tractor. We *all* got to git out.
-Now listen, Grampa. Listen to me, just a minute.
-Easy, *easy!* You wanta bust his head wide open? Pull his arms, John.
-Ain't a-goin', thas all...
-You know what I al'ays said: "Tom'll come bustin' outa that jail like a bull through a corral fence." Can't keep no Joad in jail!
-What's the matter, Grampa?
-How 'bout Granma?
-Ma. Pa. Grampa, his eyes hurt and hunted and frightened and bewildered, scratches in the dirt.
-*Ain't* a-goin'... ain't a-goin'...
-Where you going?
-California.
-How long you plan to be in Arizona?
-No longer'n we can get acrost her.
-Got any plants?
-No plants.
-Okay. Go ahead, but you better keep movin'.
-Where you think you're going?
-Thought I'd take a walk. Any law against it?
-Well, you just turn around and walk the other way.
-You mean I can't even get outa here?
-Not tonight you can't. Want to walk back?--or you want me to whistle up some help and take you back?
-You take this. I ain't hungry.
-Whatta ya mean? You ain't et today.
-I know, but I got a stomickache. I ain't hungry.
-You take that plate inside the tent an' you eat it.
-Wouldn't be no use. I'd still see 'em inside the tent.
-I got to get a lot curiouser than I am--with all them cops out there.
-Ma... all this, will it hurt the baby?
-Now don't you go gettin' nimsy-mimsy.
-Sometimes I'm all jumpy inside.
-Well, can't nobody get through nine *months* without sorrow.
-But will it--hurt the baby?
-They use' to be a sayin': A chile born outa sorrow'll be a happy chile. An' another: Born outa too much joy'll be a doleful boy. That's the way I always heard it.
-You don't ever get scairt, do you, Ma?
-Sometimes. A little. Only it ain't scairt so much. It's just waitin' an' wonderin'. But when sump'n happens that I got to do sump'n-- --I'll do it.
-Don't it ever scare you it won't be nice in California like we think?
-Maybe Connie went to get some books to study up with. He's gonna be a radio expert, ya know. Maybe he figgered to suprise us.
-We gonna live here?
-Why, sure. It won't be so bad once we get her washed out.
-I like the tent better.
-Anybody ask anything?
-No'm.
-Ma... you know, if Connie was here I wouldn't min' any a this.
-Ma... Ma, I--I can't go to the dance. I jus' can't Ma. I can't hardly stan' it, with Connie not here--an' me this way.
-Why, honey, it makes folks happy to see a girl that way--makes folks sort of giggly an' happy.
-You an' me's goin' together--jus' you an' me. We're a-goin' to that dance an' we're a-goin' to jus' set an' watch. If anybody says to come dance--why I'll say you're poorly. But you an' me, we're gonna hear the music an' see the fun.
-An' you won't let nobody touch me?
-How 'bout it?
-You don't know *no* girls around here. You're lyin', *You're runnin' away*!
-Cut it out, Ma, or I'll--
-You'll *what*?... Come on, Pa. Come on an' whup me. Jus' try it.
-Now don't get sassy, Ma.
-Al ain't a-goin' away, an' you gonna *tell* him he ain't a-goin' away. An' if you think diff'unt, you gotta whup me first. So some on.
-Jus' sassy, that's all.
-Connie's gone. Lit out this e'enin'--said he didn't know it was gonna be like this.
-Glad to get shet of him. Never was no good an' never will be--
-Pa! Shh!
-Sump'n got to happen soon. We got one day's more grease, two day's flour, an' ten potatoes. After that... An' Rosasharn, we got to remember she's gonna be due soon.
-That!
-Know where we're a-goin'?
-Make her easy, John. Watch her.
-Maybe, but we shore takin' a beatin'.
-Thank God. Oh thank God. Tommy, you didn't *bust* out, didya? You ain't got to hide, have you?
-I was so scared we was goin' away without you--and we'd never see each other again.
-Muley tol' me what happened, Ma. Are we goin' to California true?
-We *got* to, Tommy. But that's gonna be awright. I seen the han'bills, about how much work they is, an' high wages, too. But I gotta fin' out somepin' else first, Tommy. Did they hurt you, son? Did they hurt you an' make you mean-mad?
-Mad, Ma?
-Sometimes they do.
-No, Ma I was at first--but not no more.
-Sometimes they do somethin' to you, Tommy. They hurt you--and you get mad--and then you get mean--and they hurt you again--and you get meaner, and meaner--till you ain't no boy or no man any more, but just a walkin' chunk a mean-mad. Did they hurt you like that, Tommy?
-No, Ma. You don't have to worry about that.
-How about it, Ma?
-Wait. There's a half a bottle a soothin' sirup here. It put the chillun to sleep.
-Don't taste bad.
-And they's some coffee here. I could fix him a cup...
-Yes'm, that was it.
-Your pa tol' me you didn't ought to cross it if you're paroled. Says they'll send you up again.
-Forget it, Ma. I got her figgered out. Long as I keep outa trouble, ain't nobody gonna say a thing. All I gotta do is keep my nose clean.
-Maybe they got crimes in California we don't know about. Crimes we don't even know *is* crimes.
-Ma, you sick?
-Ya say we're acrost?
-Look, Ma!
-Thank God! An' we're still together-- most of us.
-Didn' you get no sleep?
-No.
-Was Granma bad?
-Granma's dead.
-When?
-Since before they stopped us las' night.
-An' that's why you didn't want 'em to look?
-She shore don't look prosperous. Want to go somewheres else?
-Ma, they comes a time when a man gets mad.
-Tom--you tol' me--you promised you wasn't like that. You promised me.
-I know, Ma. I'm a tryin'. If it was the law they was workin' with, we could take it. But it *ain't* the law. They're workin' away at our spirits. They're tryin' to make us cringe an' crawl. They're workin' on our decency.
-You promised, Tommy.
-I'm a-tryin', Ma. Honest I am.
-You gotta keep clear, Tom. The fambly's breakin' up. You *got* to keep clear.
-Fust thing I'll get is coffee, cause ever'body been wantin' that, an' then some flour an' bakin' powder an' meat. Better not get no side- meat right off. Save that for later. Maybe Sat'dy. Got to get some soap too. An' milk. Rosasharn's got to have some milk.
-Get some sugar too, for the coffee.
-Got any more, Ma?
-I ain't full.
-You be careful, Tommy. Don't you be stickin' your nose in anything.
-How's it feel, Tommy?
-Busted my cheek but I can still see. What'd you hear?
-Looks like you done it.
-I kinda thought so. Felt like it.
-Folks ain't talkin' about much else. They say they got posses out. Talkin' about a lynchin'--when they catch the fella.
-They killed Casy first.
-That ain't the way they're tellin' it. They're sayin' you done it fust.
-They know what--this fella looks like?
-They know he got hit in the face.
-I'm sorry, Ma. But--I didn't know what I was doin', no more'n when you take a breath. I didn't even know I was gonna do it.
-It's awright, Tommy. I wisht you didn't do it, but you done what you had to do. I can't read no fault in you.
-I'm gonna go away tonight. I can't go puttin' this on you folks.
-Tom! They's a whole lot I don't understan', but goin' away ain't gonna ease us. They was the time when we was on the lan'. They was a bound'ry to us then. Ol' folks died off, an' little fellas come, an' we was always one thing-- we was the fambly--kinda whole an' clear. But now we ain't clear no more. They ain't nothin' keeps
-That Casy. He might a been a preacher, but--he seen a lot a things clear. He was like a lantern--he helped mw see things too.
-It's jus' till we get some distance. Then you can come out.
-What is it?
-She's gettin' prettier, Ma.
-They was some cops here, Ma. They was takin' down the license numbers. It looks like somebody knows sump'n.
-It had to come, I reckon, soon or later.
-I'd like to stay. I'd like to be with ya-- --an' see your face when you an' Pa get settled in a nice little place. I sure wish I could see you then. But-- --I guess I won't never be able to do that. Not now.
-I could hide you, Tommy.
-I know you would, Ma. But I ain't gonna let you. You hide somebody that's kilt a man an'... an' you'd be in trouble too.
-Awright, Tommy. What you figger you gonna do?
-You know what I been thinkin' about, Ma? About Casy. About what he said, what he done, an' about how he died. An' I remember all of it.
-He was a good man.
-I been thinkin' about us, too--about our people livin' like pigs, an' good rich lan' layin' fallow, or maybe one fella with a million acres, while a hundred thousan' farmers is starvin'. An' I been wonderin' if all our folks got together an' yelled--
-Tommy, they'll drive you, an' cut you down like they done to Casy.
-They gonna drive me anyways. Soon or later they'll get me, for one thing if not another. Until then...
-You don't aim to kill nobody, Tom!
-No, Ma. Not that. That ain't it. But long as I'm a outlaw, anyways, maybe I can do sump'n. Maybe I can jus' fin' out sump'n. Jus' scrounge aroun' an' try to fin' out what it is that's wrong, an then see if they ain't sump'n could be done about it. But I ain't thought it out clear, Ma. I can't. I don't know
-How'm I gonna know 'bout you? They might kill you an' I wouldn't know. They might hurt you. How'm I gonna know?
-Well, maybe it's like Casy says, a fella ain't got a soul of his own, but on'y a piece of a big soul--the one big soul that belongs to ever'body-- an' then...
-Then what, Tom?
-Then it don't matter. Then I'll be all aroun' in the dark. I'll be ever'where--wherever you look. Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad--an' I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's
-I don't understan' it, Tom.
-Me neither. It's jus' stuff I been thinkin' about. Gimme you han', Ma. Good-by.
-Good-by, Tom. Later--when it's blowed over--you'll come back? You'll try to fin' us?
-Sure. Good-by.
-Yeah?
-Could you see your way clear to sell us a loaf of bread, ma'am.
-This ain't a groc'ry store. We got bread to make san'widges with.
-I know, ma'am... on'y it's for a ole lady, no teeth, gotta sof'n it with water so she can chew it, an' she's hongry.
-Whyn't you buy a san'wich? We got nice san'widges.
-I shore would like to do that, ma'am, but the fack is, we ain't got but a dime for it. It's all figgered out, I mean--for the trip.
-This here's a fifteen-cent loaf.
-You can have this for ten cents.
-I don't wanta rob you, ma'am.
-Which ones?
-Oh, them? Well, no--them's *two* for a penny.
-Tommy?
-Muley! Where's my folks, Muley?
-They gone.
-Gone-- --over to your Uncle John's. The whole crowd of 'em, two weeks ago. But they can't stay there either, because John's got *his* notice to get off.
-But what's happened? How come they got to get off? We been here fifty years--same place.
-Ever'body got to get off. Ever'body leavin', goin' to California. My folks, your folks, ever'body's folks. Ever'body but me. I ain't gettin' off.
-But who done it?
-Listen! That's some of what done it--the dusters. Started it, anyway. Blowin' like this, year after year--blowin' the land away, blowin' the crops away, blowin' us away now.
-Are you crazy?
-Some say I am. You want to hear what happened?
-Well?
-What was the use. He was right. There wasn't a thing in the world I could do about it.
-But it don't seem possible--kicked off like that!
-Listen! That's them! Them lights! Come on, we got to hide out!
-Hide out for what? We ain't doin' nothin'.
-All you got to do is lay down an' watch.
-Won't they come out here?
-Fact of the matter, Muley, after what them dusters done to the land, the tenant system don't work no more. It don't even break even, much less show a profit. One man on a tractor can handle twelve or fourteen of these places. You just pay him a wage and take *all* the crop.
-But we couldn't *do* on any less'n what our share is now. The chillun ain't gettin' enough to eat as it is, and they're so ragged we'd be shamed if ever'body else's chillun wasn't the same way.
-You mean get off my own land?
-Who's the Shawnee Land and Cattle Comp'ny?
-Then who *do* we shoot?
-Brother, I don't know. If I did I'd tell you. But I just don't know *who's* to blame!
-That's Connie Rivers with her. They're married now. She's due about three-four months.
-How you get all this money?
-Sol' things, chopped cotton--even Grampa. Got us about two hunnerd dollars all tol'. Shucked out seventy- five for this truck, but we still got nearly a hunnerd and fifty to set out on. I figger we oughta be able to make it on that.
-Either we got to tie him up and *throw* him on the truck, or somepin. He can't stay here.
-Can't tie him. Either we'll hurt him or he'll git so mad he'll hurt his self. Reckon we could git him *drunk*?
-Here we go!
-I figger best we leave something like this on him, lest somebody dig him up and make out he been kilt. Lotta times looks like the gov'ment got more interest in a dead man than a live one.
-Not be so lonesome, either, knowin' his name is there with 'im, not just' a old fella lonesome underground.
-Got that desert yet. Gotta take her tonight. Take her in the daytime fella says she'll cut your gizzard out.
-She's jus' wore out, that's all.
-Ya know, you're the second fella talked like that. I'd like to hear some more about that.
-Just in case. Sit up back an' if anybody tries to climb up--let 'im have it.
-I ain't got nothin' in *my* han'.
-You wouldn't think jus' reachin' up an' pickin'd get you in the back.
-Think I'll walk out an' try to fin' out what all that fuss outside the gate was. Anybody wanta come with me?
-Take 'er on down, Al. I'll sign.
-We gonna stay, ain't we?
-Good wages, eh! Pickin' oranges an' peaches?
-Whatta you think you're talkin' about? I got a han'bill here says good wages, an' I seen it in the papers they need pickers!
-Awright, go on! Ain't nobody stoppin' ya!
-But what about this?
-But what does *that* prove?
-Heh'o Tom. This is Connie, my husband.
-If this don't beat all! Well, I see you been busy already!
-Maybe it's nice on the other side. Them pitchers--them little pos'cards-- they was real pretty.
-Cut it out, Pa. He'p Al with the truck. Don't fret, honey. You goin' to be awright.
-Tom, I jus' don't feel like nothin' a tall. Without him I jus' don't wanta live.
-This here's the desert an' we're right in it!
-I wisht it was day.
-Tom says if it's day it'll cut you gizzard smack out a you. I seen a pitcher once. They was bones ever'place.
-Man bones?
-Git up. I got sump'n to show you.
-Whatsa matter?
-Come on. Ain't nobody gonna say anything.
-Lemme go! I didn't go to do it!
-Keep qui'te, will ya! Shet your mouth!
-I never knowed it! All I done was pull that string!
-Lissen. You done busted it. You hear? But lissen here. I won't tell nobody, y'understan'?
-Please don't.
-What's these?
-Jes' like in the catalogues, ain't they!
-I seen 'em b'fore you did.
-What's this?
-Now you done it! You busted it!
-Morning.
-Morning.
-You people looking for work?
-Mister, we're lookin' even under boards for work.
-Can you pick peaches?
-We can pick anything.
-Lotta these little farmers mighty nice fellas. Trouble is they're little, they ain't got much say-so.
-You sure you got ever'thing ready?
-Ain't gonna be no trouble.
-Yes, sir.
-Awright. An' if she gets outa han', I'll be in the right han' corner, this side the dance floor.
-But wait. I still don't understand what you do.
-You do not.
-Yes I do.
-You don't...
-In the corporate offices.
-Oh... really?
-Yeah...
-What do you do?
-I sell biscuits to the Southland.
-You do not.
-It's what I do.
-You're so funny...
-I sell biscuits and gravy all over the Southland--
---Stop it--
-You know those horsey biscuit gravy packets? I move all of those--
---No.
-Welcome back! I'm Arlene Oslott- Joseph.
-Marty, you haven't changed a bit!
-We had pictures put on, that way everybody knows who everybody was!
-Wonderful.
-So, what are you doing now?
-Bob. Bob Destephano.
-What?
-I'm Dan. Dan Koretzky.
-Computer guy.
-Yeah... Hey, I saw you at your dad's dealership the other day.
-I sell BMW's. What do you do?
-Remember high school?
-Bob...
-What?
-It's me. Martin Blank.
-Really...? So what?
-So. You and Debi. Gonna hit that shit again?
-Fine, Bob. How are you?
-Never better.
-Ahhh... it's all fucked up. Nothing adds up to nothing... you work your whole life, day in and day out-- try to make sense of it all. One day you're twenty-seven and what do you get to show for it...
-What am I gonna do?
-What do you want to do?
-I want to be an actor.
-I'd come to the realization that everything I'd based my life on was false. And that my life had no meaning.
-He gets this way when he hits over eighty-five.
-That's a tragedy. Can I finish my story please? I began my search for meaning. I was a Catholic, Jew, Scientologist, Sufi, Buddhist. I went to a Psychologist, psychiatrist, herbalist, nutritionist, a shaman, and a psychic. And they all pretty much say the same stuff.
-A Jew, a shaman, and a herbalist are telling you the same thing? You're insane.
-Basically the same thing. In a very evolved, esoteric way.
-Insane.
-Jesus...
-Oh I see. You got your individual slices of hope, dignity, confidence, self-love, justice, and harmony.
-You open 'em up and there's the sayings, stories, little bites of insight. It's the P.P.P. Six Day Week.
-So you eat-- read it everyday?
-Yes.
-And these pan pizzas have opened up the doors to heaven?
-I just play my own collection.
-How long has it been?
-Since you stood me up on prom night and vanished without saying a word?
-Well, let me see... they tore down the George Orwell monument and put up a bust of George Michael. Main Street's a four-laner, no left turns four to seven. I was married and divorced. And Grosse Pointe is now officially the new sister city to Lower Hutt, New Zealand. We have fiber-optic town meetings every two months.
-Tell me about yourself.
-I'm in California most of the time. Traveling a lot on business. That's about it, really.
-That's it?
-Not much else.
-What's your business?
-I'm a professional killer.
-Well, I gotta go. But I'll come back.
-All right mystery man. I want some answers. Let's recap. Spring of '84. Two young lovers with frightening natural chemistry. The girl sits in a seven-hundred dollar prom dress at her father's house waiting for the most romantic night of her young life. The boy never shows up, until now. So, what's the question?
-Where have I been?
-More like what happened? What happened, Mr. Blank?
-I don't know exactly. I could venture a guess but it would sound like a rationalization... I thought you know... maybe seeing you, some friends, my house... of course now a 7-11--
---Torn down in the name of convenience--
---and I guess, sure, seeing you would be part of that whole equation... I suppose the most important thing, really. I don't know. Anyway, this whole thing's my therapist's idea. It's my shrink, really.
-Ohhh. You're in therapy too, Marty?
-You see someone?
-Are you going to the reunion?
-No. I'm not going. Is that why you're here?
-That's part of it.
-Well, you'll have a ball. You seem to have everything everybody wants when they go back. The car, the suit, the watch. The look. That just leaves the little things, like happiness, character, point of view...
-It's always the little things.
-Okay. Let's catch up. You go first.
-Well, there's not much to tell.
-I'm sure you've done worthwhile things in the last ten years. You've had experiences.
-Bad experiences.
-You met people.
-Bad people.
-Watched television?
-Bad television.
-Jesus. Marty. You're pathetic. It sounds like you need a Shockabuku.
-What's that?
-It's a swift spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever.
-I figured I could pick you up tomorrow around seven o'clock.
-Let me get this straight, are you asking me out?
-Yes.
-Unbelievable.
-Seven it is.
-Are you there?
-Yes.
-Hello...?
-This night, this reunion will be an important step in our relationship.
-You're fucking psycho.
-Flowers. That's funny.
-As long as I get the laugh.
-You look beautiful.
-...Let me get my coat.
-Do you want to get a drink first?
-I think they'll probably have booze there.
-Shoulda brought my gun.
---Yes. Actually we just bought that little Frank Lloyd Wright on Pine Avenue... Debi's a social worker and I mow down insurance claims at Aetna--
-Which would you rather...?
-Okay... Would you rather... commit yourself sexually to a four-by-nine cell with former President George Herbert Walker Bush dressed as a super-model for a month, or make love to a otter on crank for a week?
-Soft. I'll take the junkie otter, clearly! I'd let the little beast scratch and claw all he wants... Okay. Would you rather make love to the candied corpse of Phyllis Diller--
---She's not dead---
-It's just a game...! Alright. Candied Diller, or... wear a hot pork vest across the desert with a fully digested crab apple in your mouth?
-Wow. I have to give this some thought.
-No time.
-Even though I left, you never left me. Not just memory but a substance in my blood.
-Like heroin?
-Too junky-kitschy. Deeper, deeper.
-Like love?
-He was trying to kill you, right!
-Yes.
-Not the other way around...?
-No.
-Is it something you've done?
-...About five years now.
-Get the fuck outta here.
-Seriously, when I left, I joined the Army and took the service exam. They found my psych results fit a certain profile. A certain "Moral flexibility" would be the best way to describe it... I was loaned out to a CIA- sponsored program. It's called "mechanical operations." We sort of found each other...
-I was, but no... yes... I was before, but now I'm not. It's irrelevant, really. The idea of governments, nations, it's mostly a public relations theory at this point, anyway. But I'll tell you something, until about five months ago, I really enjoyed my work.
-Jesus Christ!
-Then I started losing my taste for it. Which usually means your time is up. But then I realized it was something entirely different... I started getting the sneaking, dark suspicion that maybe there was... meaning to life.
-Okay. Great, Martin, that's just great. Meaning to life... Mmm....
-Like, that there's a point? An organic connection between all living things.
-Let me help you along, Martin. You're a sociopath!
-A sociopath kills for no reason. I kill for money.
-You never could have kept this from me.
-I was leaving.
-That's probably a good idea.
-Will you come with me?
-I'm staying here.
-What if I come back?
-You don't get to have me. You are a monster, I'm a human being. We're not going to mate.
-You don't understand...
-You kill people.
-I have no illusions about the future. What is, is. We make choices. And we become the sum total of our choices. I can live with that.
-Why don't you want to go to your high school reunion?
-You went to school with these people.
-Come on.
-We've spent a lot of time discussing those years. Remember we said that fear is a transfer of the bodily hurt associated by experience with the thing feared, to the thought of the thing. Thus we fear a dog without distinctly imagining its bite.
-Shouldn't you be taking notes?
-How do you know?
-I just know.
-Say more.
-You needn't be so frank with me about your work.
-Why not. I trust you. You couldn't turn me in because of Doctor-Patient privilege... and I don't want to be "withholding"... and I know where you live.
-You know where I live?
-We're both professionals, Oatman.
-I think what you fear Martin is domesticity. It's the greatest fear that men have who belong to Western Culture. It's centuries old. Like King Phillip, in the 11th or 12th century who decided one day that he was so bored with his dreary life at home with his wife he thought, "Well, wouldn't it be great if we hit the road and fought...
-So you're saying that Ulysses-- everything he said to his queen when he came back--everything was a lie? He just wanted to fuck around?
-Yes.
-And how have you been feeling about your... work lately?
-Anyway, that never use to happen. I was always the prodigy. Now I'm just one of the guys.
-Maybe some of the discomfort you're feeling is... guilt. Remorse. Over the innocent people you've killed.
-If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there. I don't care about that stuff, anyway.
-What stuff?
-Go to your reunion, Martin. See those people and discover what they mean to you. Try not to kill anybody for a few days, see how you feel.
-What else? Say more.
-Okay. Repeat this after me.
-...I am at home with the me. I am rooted in me, who is on this adventure.
-Take a deep breath and realize, that this is me breathing.
-How was your day, today, sir?
-Effective. But to tell you the truth, I've lost my passion for work.
-Do you like the people you work with?
-I work alone.
-That's it then. That's it. I've always been alone. That's why I'm a good driver. I can handle it. See, I can think on my feet. I survive, I'm a thinker. And I can sit there in front of your house for two hours and it don't bother me. Some people can't do it! Some people are ranting and raving, "Tell them fuckin' people
-You understand the psychology of the job.
-You look like you're far away. Far away and thinking about other things. I'm right about that, aren't I?
-No.
-Well, let's just say that sometimes I'm right. Sometimes you are.
-Sometimes I am. Sometimes. It's only natural.
-I been looking at you, and I've decided that I want to share something with you.
-Okay.
-I am part of a network of minds, a group of five people who are all connected, over hundreds, even thousands of miles, through the mind. We can think with each other, think for each other. I can be driving somewhere, sleeping with a woman-- whatever it is-- and at the same time be thinking a thought in someone else's mind, far away. Running
-Up on the right.
-What do you want?
-I'm setting up a concern that would enable those of us in our rarefied profession to consolidate our efforts.
-Like a union?
-Like a club. Work less, make more.
-Thank you, no.
-We could be working together, making big money, killing important people... I'm willing to let you in on the ground floor.
-It's a free-market evolution. You'll wake up to it... c'mon Kid. We used to run together when you were a rookie. I don't want to run against you. This thing's real. Everybody's in.
-Not me. So don't paw at me with your dirty little guild.
-I want two eggs poached, hash brown well-done. English muffin for the bread. And a coffee.
-Come on, live a little. I'm sorry about the incident yesterday.
-No harm no foul.
-I told them to kill you and they didn't.
-Hard to get good help these days.
-But since we're both here, I think it's time to take a fresh look at our relationship.
-No deal.
-Fine. But we're not going to let you do your job. Because we're gonna do it. And then, after we do your job, we're gonna do another little job...
-Is that right?
-Yeah-- after I shoot you through the fucking forehead I'm gonna fuck you in the bullethole.
-It's okay. It's Martin The door begins to open revealing Debi and Newberry.
-I know what I do isn't moral, per se, but if you could just look past that, you'd see a man worth loving.
-...How about I sell you two rounds for a hundred grand a piece?
-There you go. I left it blank.
-Hey, Ken. How have you been?
-Hello Martin. How have you been?
-Hello, Bob.
-I'm an attorney. I'm with Moss, Brice & Fromeyer.
-Sometimes. I'm in divorce, mainly. Some property. Some personal injury.
-Well... I have to take this over to Debi.
-Have you seen Debi Newberry?
-The more things change, the more they Goddamned well stay the same.
-You always say that. You always say that. I'm telling you, you never met the man.
-Seventeen months ago I was posting a walk in Lisbon, and he was there. He never saw me. But I saw him, though.
-Lisbon?
-Here's the news: He hasn't been in Portugal since '90. I know that from the file. Why don't you read the file, man?
-Well?
-I don't think so.
-Well, remember when Frysal's men paid off the Deejay in Cairo to announce a bogus press conference in the --
---Nooo--
-That's strictly Bàader-Meinhof stuff.
-It was the PLO.
-I wish he'd do his job already so we could do our job.
-We can't do our job unless he does his job.
-Why don't we just do his job then, so we can do our job, and get the fuck out of here.
-Do his job? I'm not a cold-blooded killer.
-Wait a minute--
--Look. You want to kill a Good Guy, but not be a Bad Guy, you wait until a Bad Guy kills the Good Guy, and then you come in and kill the Bad Guy, and then you're the Good Guy.
-So if we do his job, we're the bad guys. If we do our job, we're the good guys.
-He's falling for her. Look at him.
-He using her.
-You're wrong. Look at his face.
-One cannot love and kill.
-Looks like someone keeps trying to do our job for us.
-If he does our job, he's our job.
-Did you see Blank in there?
-No...
-...Tell them that's not my problem. I was paid for one job-- the cyclist-- not two. See you tomorrow, Marcella.
-Wait. I have Mr. Grocer for you.
-Throw that away.
-This?
-Don't tease me. You know what I do for a living.
-It's from one of those P.O. Boxes. How was the trip?
-Tedious. I now authorize you to throw away all personal mail.
-All of it?
-And not show it to me. Ever again.
-That's going to cost.
-They're not happy, sir.
-I'm not happy.
-They say their friend was suppose to have a heart attack and die in his sleep.
-He didn't.
-They blame you for the compromise.
-And they want me to make up for it.
-In Detroit. This weekend.
-Tell them that's impossible. I need my normal lead time.
-They were very upset.
-Would you describe their position as inflexible?
-And sir, I also get that broken- mirror, black-cat, Friday-the- thirteenth kind of feeling about this one....
-There's nothing to be done about it.
-I liquidated the last account in Zurich, and split it into two new ones in Estonia.
-Good. What else? Anything interesting?
-Enough?
-Never enough.
-I have scruples. Next.
-Don't forget your identity.
-This is not good.
-What's it look like?
-It's fine.
-You haven't looked at the dossier.
-You have.
-Yes. It's the same as usual. Nothing remarkable about it at all.
-I have to call the client and give them a reason why you're late.
-I'll call them and tell them you're taking your time. Being a professional.
-Okay, call them. Fine. Oh-- And if you could find out why they double- booked the job, and who is trying to kill me, and call me back-- that's be great.
-I bought a new rug.
-That's wonderful, Mom.
-What's a revival tent?
-It's a place where religious people--
-Marlin Perkins and Jim!
-Jim?
-It's good to see you. I'm sure you're curious about what I've been doing.
-I spoke to your father the other day.
-I imagine that'd be rather difficult.
-They told me you're taking lithium, mom.
-Yes, they give me headaches. I have a headache.
-You have a headache?
-I have a headache. You have a headache?
-No, I don't have one.
-We had a good laugh, didn't we?
-Why don't you return this car and borrow mine? Have Debi follow you to the rent-a-car so you can get a ride back.
-I think I'll go see Debi today.
-Of course you will.
-I can't think of anything to say to her that seems appropriate given I left and never said goodbye to her.
-Take care of her. She's a keeper.
-Yeah...
-And a leader. Didn't she meet Castro on foreign exchange?
-Marty! It's me. Paul.
-Paul?
-So what happened to you?
-Same thing that happened to you-- I stopped poutin' there on the sidelines. Got in. Got on the team. I joined the working week, you slick fucking asshole, so why don't you valet park your high horse and take it easy on your old buddy, Paul.
-God it's great to see you.
-Debi's house.
-Kind of crept up on you, didn't it?
-No. You drove us here.
-Yeah, but it's still kind of eerie, isn't it?
-Ten years. What happened!?
-I freaked out, joined the Army, worked for the government, and went into business for myself... I'm a professional killer.
-He sells BMW's?
-He sold me this bad boy.
-How could you put your hard-earned dollars into the hands of the class bully?
-He gave me a great deal.
-What the hell happened to you?
-I was catching up with Bob Destephano.
-It didn't work out.
-That's too bad.
-I have to get my head back into my work.
-When you see Debi, tell her I'm sorry.
-So when are you authorized to use deadly force?
-So it's not a meaningful symbol, or anything. That badge is just the badge of your company. If I look suspicious on your customers' property-- well, under those heightened circumstances you have the authority to, ah... To shoot me.
-To shoot you. Correct.
-How did you get this job?
-Well, they were hiring, and it was only a two week course...
-Good evening, Mr. Newberry.
-Good evening, Mr. Blank.
-How are you? How's business?
-Martin, I don't know where you've been since you abandoned my daughter ten years ago, and I don't care. It was good that you left, and I'm glad you did. So what do you want to talk about? You've grown up a bit. Maybe I had you figured wrong.
-How's that?
-I visualized you, in a haze, as one of the slackster, flannel-wearing, coffeehouse-misanthropes I've been seeing in Newsweek.
-I took the other road. I'm more of a self-reflective young lion who does business with lead-pipe cruelty and goes home to drink light beer in milky-eyes isolation. I love sports and sex and have no real relationships with anyone. And you?
-Why not?
-So what are you doing with your life now, son?
-I'm a professional killer.
-This is Annie MacLean.
-I went on the Internet and found this article about you... It says you're a Horse Whisperer, that you... you help people with horse problems. And you have quite a success rate when it comes to traumatized --
-Well, see, truth is, ma'am, I help horses with people's problems.
-Well, you know, however you want to put it -- I got your information from the publisher of the article. I called Montana and your sister-in-law, I think, gave me this number. I'm been hot on your trail you could say because I was hoping you'd consider coming to New York and taking a look at my daughter's horse and possibly --
-Ma'am, I'm very sorry about your problems and I appreciate what your daughter must be going through, but I'm afraid you've misunderstood whatever it is you read. I don't do that sort of thing.
-Well, if you could just come for the day. New York's only a few hours by plane, I'd have you home by dinner...
-Look, even if it was nearer, that's just not what I do. I give clinics. And I'm not even doing them for a while. I'm heading back to Montana right now. I got a ranch to take care of...
-I'll pay you for your fare. I'll send you to Montana first class.
-I, I don't mean to sound insensitive. I understand your situation. But there's nothing I can do. You just called the wrong person, that's all. I hear there are a bunch of therapists in New York. Maybe you should call one of them.
-Mr. Booker, if I could just ex --
-It's, uh... beautiful country. I had a little bit of a hard time finding the place. There are no signs.
-Plenty of signs -- just none of them printed. Who do I get the idea you're not just passing through!
-Well... OK... here it is... Uh... I'd like you to take a look at my horse. Now -- it won't take long and if, after that, you still don't feel...
-Were you thinking of personally driving me back East?
-Oh no. She's here. I brought him along. And my daughter, too. We're staying at Peterson's...
-You mean you hauled him all the way out here? Just like that?
-Well... yes... I had a trailer. It's not like I made him run along side of the car.
-I uh... ha, ha... I don't think I ever met a lady quite like yourself and I appreciate all the pains you've gone through to --
-Uh, no. I was gonna take a look now.
-You want us to come with you? I just have to run to the main house and give Mr. Peterson a check.
-Doesn't matter.
-When I work with a horse, it's no good just me doing it. It doesn't work that way. The owner needs to be involved too.
-Well, that'll be a little complicated --
-Look, I'll talk to Grace and call you later--
-I don't have a problem with that. It's up to Annie.
-Well, it's worth it, really? I mean, how much longer do you think you need to work with Pilgrim?
-You know, we're branding here tomorrow. If you two want to come by to watch or give a hand, you're welcome.
-You okay?
-So how was your first and last day of branding?
-What?
-You ever just stand still for a minute?
-That's your cue to say you're not laughing at me.
-Oh, I see, you write both sides of the conversation?
-It's a man's world, Mr. Booker. Most women have to.
-Well, maybe I am laughing a bit... I just thought, as long as you're here, it would be nice for you to relax into the place a little.
-Well... It's beautiful country, I'll give you that. And I could see having some kind of vacation place. Retreat. But I don't know how you do it full time. Don't you miss the rest of the world?
-What's that to miss?
-Ha... if you've never lived in a city with museums, theater, music, restaurants, uh... god, a million things, then it's something I can't explain.
-Does Chicago count?
-You lived in Chicago?
-When I was first married.
-I once heard Itzhak Perlman guest star with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. He played Rachmaninov's Vocalize Opus 34. No. 14. It was one of the most beautiful pieces of music I ever heard. I actually forgot where I was for a time. You seem surprised?
-Well, I, uh... you didn't...
-I've decided it's impossible to properly say hello in this place without a hat.
-A jogger, huh?
-I don't jog, Mr. Booker. I run.
-Lucky for you. The grizzlies around here only go for joggers.
-If I can survive rush hour, I figure I can handle grizzlies...
-You sleeping all right in that house?
-I found this old cello case filled with bills and receipts.
-Sorry about that. I thought everything got cleared out. R.B. is my wife... ex-wife... Rachel. We used to live in that house together.
-I thought you lived in Chicago?
-I have a way with animals.
-It's all right. He's young. Just hold out your hand a little lower so he can get the smell of you.
-He's beautiful.
-Why don't you ride anymore? Grace told me you used to ride when she was younger.
-Are you shy, Mr. Booker?
-Enjoy the day.
-Shit.
-Need a lift?
-The answer's no.
-You haven't heard the question yet. Truth is, you'd be doing me a favor. I got all these eager young colts need riding and poor old Rimrock here is feeling kind of left out...
-Poor thing.
-He'd be grateful, he'd take real good care with you.
-Is this how you're going to make me pay my phone bill?
-Relax our center... It's just sitting in a bucket.
-Yeah, it's been a while, but I... I remember the basic ideas...
-Actually, I never rode Western. I'm sorry. Go ahead.
-Well, he don't know that. Just sit the horse. Good... You have a nice seat.
-Thanks.
-Feel good?
-Yeah.
-You look all right. You want to pick it up a little?
-How long did you live here with your wife?
-Five years. My son was born here.
-Son?
-Yeah. I haven't seen him in a while. He used to come to the ranch over summers, but then he started having friends and was going off to college, so... Good boy. Hal. Lives in New York near his mom.
-How did you meet her?
-Why didn't it work out?
-Grace told me you have a country house in Connecticut. Sounds like a beautiful place.
-It is. It's lovely.
-Ever think of moving there full time?
-I hear that! See, I knew she was never going to be a ranchest, but I wanted to try -- I thought maybe she'd give music lessons to the kids in town or at the school, maybe even recitals. My son would grow up here. Maybe have one or two more. I'd teach 'em what I could. They'd play with my brother's kids. All
-That's very important to you, isn't it? Home.
-Yeah, I think it is. And I don't mean everybody's got to be married, have kids -- It's more like, knowing where you're from, where you belong, what feeds you, where you can go no matter what happens... Knowing what you're supposed to be doing while you're here.
-Everything under control?
-Not really. I'd forgotten how long it's been since I've done this. And I couldn't get any Parmesan cheese.
-Just make yourself comfortable.
-I am comfortable.
-You missed a button.
-This is Mr. Booker, Robert.
-Now, listen. I want you to stand on him.
-I won't apologize for this. And I won't hide it. Not for anybody.
-Oh, God, what are we going to do? I'm supposed to --
-Show me again.
-Annie!
-Summers are short here, Annie. There isn't much of a fall. Before you know it, the roads are closed... the nights get long.
-I don't care! We'd be together.
-Two people can't just be alone together in the world. At least not us...
-I figured, whenever you decided to go, you'd be all set.
-I don't know any other way, Annie.
-Then what have we been doing? I mean what was the point?
-The point was to love each other.
-Liz is taking care of him. The doctor said the sooner you start therapy the better the chances are you can --
-Why don't you go lie down?
-Dad'll pick you up today, all right?
-Oh, honey... What happened?
-Doesn't matter. I... I don't want to come back, that's all.
-Oh. Well, what are you going to do? You have to go to school, honey. I mean, what --
-I'm not coming back! That's it! I want to go home!
-Grace, listen to me. Your body is just healing. You have to give the rest of you time as well...
-Is that your version of a pep talk?
-You are not staying home all day feeling sorry for yourself. You're going to get up and you're going to figure this out.
-Fine!
-I can't find that charm Daddy gave me from India.
-I brought it to you in the hospital.
-No, you didn't.
-Grace, I put it on the table near your --
-Have you decided about Pilgrim?
-What about him?
-Well... how you feel all right about telling Liz to put him down...
-I think we should. It's not fair to let him suffer. He's not much use anymore. He'd hate living like that.
-I think that's... very compassionate and... mature way of looking at it.
-Mom?
-Yeah?
-Maybe they should put me down too.
-What?
-You want to take your bath? We have to get up early tomorrow. You may not have enough time to --
-No, I don't mean you have to. It's just that we may not have enough --
--- enough time tomorrow. I know.
-Look, if you want to take it in the morning, that's fine.
-IT'S ALMOST LUNCHTIME. ARE YOU HUNGRY!?
-Whatever you want.
-Fine!
-You should call your dad before it gets too late.
-I already did. This morning. When you went running.
-Oh. You didn't tell me.
-I didn't know I had to.
-Would you like to see that?
-I don't care.
-This'll be nice. We haven't seen any of the sights yet. It's history. When I was thirteen I used to love seeing things like this.
-How long is this going to go on?
-What?
-Do you want us to turn around and go back home? Do you?
-Who do you think I'm doing this for? I'm doing this for you!
-Bullshit! It's about you! About you deciding! About you always being right! You always getting everything your way, controlling everybody -- like we work for you or something!
-I don't believe this!
-You just want to get away from Daddy and you're using me to do it!
-That's not true! Whatever problems your father and I are having, have nothing to do with this.
-You're amazing! You act like I don't live in that house! Don't you think I hear the two of you!? Don't you think I can tell what's going on? I'm not five years old, Mom! You want to divorce Daddy and Daddy doesn't want to.
-Did he tell you that?
-He doesn't have to! It's, like, so obvious you can't stand him.
-That's not true!
-Then why do you want to leave?
-It's... it's not that simple to explain. I know you think it is, but it's not. The truth is, I don't really know what I want to do. I don't have all the answers.
-You buckled up? You cold?
-Gee, this looks like a fun place.
-Don't they believe in signs here?
-What would they say? "Ten miles to big rock." "Twenty miles to bigger rock."
-There was supposed to be a turn off. Did I miss it?
-He's still sitting in that damn field.
-We'll have more room because we're moving onto the ranch. They have this empty house near this creek. It's actually pretty... OK... I love you. Dad wants to talk to you.
-Did you ask him to come visit?
-You already did.
-Did he mention it?
-You got everything you need?
-Honey, come on. Would you like to stay in town for dinner? Maybe see what movie's playing tonight?
-Why? There's no food in the house?
-I'll come.
-I thought there were too many forks on the table.
-Well, one was for salad...
-Mom, they don't mind eating with one fork.
-Does anybody out there want something to drink?
-I'll take care of it.
-Nothing.
-Grace? Is everything all right? Can we talk?
-About what?
-Well... So you tried riding again?
-Yeah. Does that mean I'm cured?!
-Honey, nobody's trying to cure you --
-... You worried everything all right now and we'll have to go home?
-What are you talking about?
-You... not wanting to go home because you hate daddy so much.
-Grace, I don't hate your father.
-I can't remember the last time you made him dinner.
-I was just trying to say thank you to Diane and Frank and --
-Look, I just wanted to say, I think it's great you're riding again. And... and I think I know why you, you needed to do it alone... without anyone knowing...
-Yeah, you know everything!!
-STOP IT! Why can't I talk to you!!
-NO, YOU STOP IT! Stop pretending like you care! Like this really isn't about you and Tom.
-WHAT?! How can you -- I'm sorry if my friendship with Tom bothers you so much, but I happen to value having someone to talk to, especially when my own daughter ignores me night and day because no matter what I say, it's wrong and no matter what I do, it's wrong... I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you.
-I don't deserve that. I have never looked at you as a disappointment. If I'm on your back to do better, if I push you to try harder it's because I want you to be the best you can be.
-Listen, if... if there's a part of you as parent that... that takes pride in your child -- that, you can look at them and see something you've accomplished as well... if that's wrong, then I'm sorry. But it wasn't my intention. I don't push for me. I do it for you... So you don't waste half your life feeling like you don't know
-Well, then I do apologize... But what I'm most sorry for is turning you into a spoiled brat who can only think about what she's feeling... who can't admit when she's wrong and who can't forgive when she's not.
-What did you say?
-Started what?
-My period.
-When? Tonight?
-Who's going to want me now?
-What?... Oh baby...
-Who's ever going to want me? Nobody will.
-That's not true.
-Why should they?
-I'm sorry... about what I said. It's just that -- all those times you and Daddy were trying for another kid, I... I used to pray at night that it would work. And not because of you guys or that I wanted a brother or sister... but... just so I wouldn't have to be...
-What?
-Who is it?
-Uh, nothing. I'm going to pick it up in the other room -- would you hang this up for me?
-Let's bring your bags inside.
-What's the matter, honey? Gonna miss Pilgrim?
-Smokey told me he left last night to look at some horses in Sheriden. He won't be back for three days. I can't believe he didn't want to say goodbye.
-Oh, I miss you. You look beautiful.
-So do you.
-How's everything?
-Good.
-Great!
-David?
-Who's there?
-Everyone. Working overtime. Just for you.
-Did you speak to Farlow?
-Yes. We're suing.
-Is that absolutely necessary? It'll just make it a bigger story.
-Well, I suppose we could use another good public feud...
-Oh, come on! This is such bullshit! The work is getting done, David. Lucky keeps me on top of everything.
-What the hell does that mean? How much more do I have to do to prove how important this magazine is to me?
-Uh, yes... Sure, David.
-It's me.
-Hi.
-So, what, uh, what train are you taking?
-I should be in by two.
-Okay. You want me to pick you up?
-Sure... What's Grace up to?
-I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have brought it up over the phone.
-That's okay. We have to talk about it and we're not always in the same place ... so... I just have to get used to it. What do you want to do about dinner?
-Okay. We'll see you later then.
-What about Grace?
-That bag's almost empty.
-No, it's got a little left. They'll be in to change it.
-I'm sorry.
-What did he say?
-I should go get some of her things.
-No, let me go.
-I saw Judith's parents while you were at the apartment... I wanted to say something... But I... I was so relieved that Grace was still... that it wasn't our daughter.
-We're very lucky.
-Oh, uh, I meant to tell you... Alex brought that fabric over...
-Okay.
-... And uh... Mario called about moving the wisteria?
-"... FRESH, WIND IN HER HAIR... LIFE WITHOUT CARE... SHE'S BROKE... BUT IT'S 'OK'...
-Sing it to me, Frankie!
-You can hardly get your arms around me. How depressing. You're so early.
-I had to excuse myself from a meeting. It's ridiculous. I kept thinking about the baby... you... and, I swear, I was going to start bawling right into my briefs.
-Aw... that's so sweet.
-I love you.
-You've got to stop doing that?
-Doing what?
-How was the dinner?
-All our "favorite" people were there saying all their "favorite" things about their "favorite" subjects. I thought to myself, we've been friends with these people almost twenty years and nobody knows anybody. We're so afraid we won't like each other and have nobody go to dinners with.
-Why did you go?
-Did you get a hold of that horse guy?
-Yeah.
-What did he say?
-What was I saying?
-I don't understand. You just said he said no.
-He did, but... I think I can change his mind.
-That's the craziest thing I ever heard. Absolutely not.
-Robert, Grace isn't adjusting to school. And she can't sit in this apartment all day... I think it would be good for her.
-NO! What are you -- you're serious about this?
-I've called Liz. They can set me up with a trailer for Pilgrim. I thought we'd stay at motels along the way...
-You've already made arrangements!?
-No. I was just researching. Calm down.
-I come home and you tell me we're going to drive a psychotic horse to Montana! I can't just pick up and leave...
-I'm not asking you to. I'll do it.
-You want to do this by yourself? How? You can't take care of Pilgrim all the --
-He'll be sedated. I know horses, Robert. I'm the one who taught Grace how to ride.
-What... Bo-... What about the magazine?
-No. It's, uh... No, I really don't think it's a good idea
-Why?!
-Her psychiatrist... said... she needs security now... stability...
-I can't say he's been all that effective with her.
-Are you a psychiatrist? He said it takes time.
-I don't care what he says! We have to do something, Robert! I can't sit here and trust everything's going to work out just by pretending it will.
-I really wish I could understand why you think this is so necessary.
-What if she doesn't want to go?
-She will if you think she should.
-And you think it's best if I don't come.
-Yeah. She seems to be getting more comfortable on the ranch, which is why I said yes to this move. But, whenever it's just the two of us, I don't know... Anyway... what's happening with the Delco lawsuit?
-Taking forever. I just got an additional list of sixty-two employees to interview before Monday. I don't know how I'm going to do it.
-So, how are you doing in Marlboro country? Is the magazine complaining at all?
-Yeah, but nothing I can't handle. Lucy tells me she thinks Gottchalks's plotting, but what else is new.
-When are you coming home?
-You know, I just asked that myself tonight. He doesn't know.
-Well then... maybe I will take some time... come visit.
-I miss you, Annie.
-I know. We miss you too.
-Good night.
-I thought you guys were going to call me.
-Oh, Robert, I'm sorry. We were so tired from the branding. Grace barely made it to her bed and I didn't have the energy to take my clothes off.
-Oh well... branding will do that to you.
-Everything all right.
-Huh-huh. You?
-Fine. Actually, today was a good day. You should have seen her.
-Well, uh the real reason I called, actually, was to tell you I saw Lucy at Jo-Jo's tonight and she seems very worried.
-About what?
-Apparently, Gottschalk's been seen around town lunching with some very prominent magazine editors. Lucy said she tried to call you, but no one answered so she faxed you the list of names. She said one of them have contracts up fairly soon.
-Oh. I didn't look at my faxes today. We left before sunrise.
-Small bed. Maybe I should sleep in the barn.
-You're allergic to hay.
-I apologize for the surprise, but the days only opened yesterday and I figured...
-You don't have to explain. You have every right to come.
-You were right about coming here. I'm sorry for not thinking...
-No, it's okay. Believe me, there were plenty of times I didn't know what the hell was right.
-How are you feeling about work?
-Are you going to stay in the city or go up to Connecticut?
-Connecticut. I told the office I'd work out of there next week. When are you planning to start back?
-Probably first thing in the morning. It's too late to start now. I'm going to try not to do too much driving in the dark.
-May I have a suggestion?
-Yeah, what?
-Take your time.
-I'll tell you something, Annie -- I stood there looking at what was happening to that horse... And, I swear, it felt like the same thing was happening to me.
-I don't understa-
-Yes?
-Hi. Um, there doesn't seem to be any hotel room available and someone told me to come here and ask for "Tubab" who might to have a place for me to stay. Are you "Tubab"?
-No. I am a "tubab."
-What do you mean?
-Was the trip okay?
-I have so much to tell you.
-You want to take a walk with me?
-Where to?
-You know, that's interesting. I always wondered when I went into a restaurant what was the difference between a regular steak or a Black Angus steak. I couldn't taste any difference although I could swear one was more tender. I didn't know there was that big a difference between cows... I've never been on a cow farm before. I must say, the bulls seem
-Nobody's using it. Silly for her to be driving back and forth when she don't know her way around that well...
-Oh, I don't know...
-Well, did you ever think about hiring a business manager?
-I'll have another round of that spaghetti if may?
-It's so cruel.
-No. He had the choice.
-What choice!!?
-There's coffee inside... I was just bringing this to Tom.
-Sure. Does your daughter want to come inside?
-Uh, no, we're going to dinner... Is this the way to the pasture?
-Mrs. MacLean -- why don't you and daughter stay for dinner?
-Oh uh, thank you. No, we don't want to impose.
-How's Peterson's holding up for you?
-Where does this go, Diane?
-Mm-mm. I never knew him. He died before Frank and I met. This here's... Frank and Tom's mother and father... there's little Frank and Tom...
-She calls him Tommy...
-Ha, she loves telling this story about how when he was two years old, he ran off. They found him in the barn, sleeping between two giant hooves of a Percheron stallion. She said that horse was protecting him and nobody could convince her otherwise.
-Thank you. You're all doing too much.
-I'll help you with the coffee.
-Well... I know I should reject that offer, but I'm not going to.
-I was looking in one of your magazines and saw that picture of the couple getting married at the Pyramids. Were you ever in Egypt?
-I was there for that shot, actually.
-What was it like?
-But, uh, Egypt is, well, it's like nothing else. It's like going back in time. I remember as a kid trying to imagine what a kid my age, centuries ago, walking over that same ground, was wondering about or, if they had the same problems as me... and I felt, connected to... to time itself, almost. Ha, I never realized how hard it was
-I'd love to go there one time...
-You and Frank ever take a vacation?
-Must be nice for you to take a few days off from your work, huh?
-Well, I have more than a few days, ha, ha... I uh... I'm sort of... not an editor anymore... right now... First time I've said it out loud.
-They fired you?
-No, it's more like a leave of- Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, they fired me.
-You don't seem to upset?
-Delayed shock. Or maybe not. I know I could talk my way back if I wanted or... go to another magazine, someplace... Just not sure if I want to.
-Did you always know this was the life you wanted?
-I fell in love. After that, I never thought about being anything but a rancher's wife. I never saw it like I was losing some other life, just felt like I was gaining one. I know that's not a popular opinion nowadays and I ain't saying it's the right one. We all have to find the life meant for us.
-Frank's a good man.
-They don't come better. But I don't deny there are times I wonder about things I won't have. Maybe one day I'll get to see Egypt. Maybe not. But I know if you try too many different lives, you can wind up with no life at all...
-Sounds like something Tom would say.
-What?
-Annie, I'm not good at this kind of talk -- goes round and round a thing but never comes to it -- so let's just say what it is. When you first came here, I didn't like you and I was worried. Tom means a lot to me and this family. Don't go looking here for whatever you looking for. Don't make that man
-I don't think anybody can make Tom do anything he didn't want.
-Is there anything you need? I'm going food-shopping.
-Well, I am going to go after lunch.
-I think I'm going to have my hands full with the son of mine when you leave. Just might be his first broken heart.
-Now, are you sure you want to drive that horse back yourself? There are plenty of people 'round here who do that sort of thing.
-It's just one night. If I get uncomfortable, I'll go over to Hanks.
-Promise?
-Good luck to you, Annie.
-Annie, it's Liz. How's Grace?
-Her leg was shattered so they had to, uh... remove it. She had some bleeding but it's under control.
-Wait, uh, I, I don't understand. Start again -- He's alive...
-Yes, but he's in a tremendous pain...
-Liz, listen, the Doctor's here and I just can't, uh... talk now... so --
-I understand, but Annie, please...
-- See, what you can do for him --...
-Annie, no matter what I do, this horse will never be the same.
-... I just don't know right now! Do whatever you can and when Grace is --
-It isn't right to make him suffer...
-Maybe we should give him another sedative.
-Problem is, there aren't many volunteers. He's already had enough to sink a battleship. You have a pin, just in case?
-Of course not.
-... well, I just think she's got a lot of nerve showing up here. Draggin' that child and that poor animal all the way... You eat with those fingers again and you know what'll happen! Frank, don't you think she's got a nerve?
-Oh hell, I don't know... According to Tom, she's a pretty determined woman. Must've thought it was worth it.
-Mixed salad.
-What?
-They're already all settled in, Frank. Anyway, I'm sure Annie wants her privacy.
-Play that sweet one you know. The one makes my wife here so friendly.
-Oh Frank, don't forget the wedding present -- it's behind the door in the laundry room. I got her a pasta maker from the catalogue... Not that they'll know what to do with it in Branton, Missouri... Probably use it as a planter.
-Diane!
-I don't believe they'll expect that.
-I believe so. Saw it on a television show, once.
-Ha...
-Diane takes care of the books. I don't know how, but at the end of every month, everything adds up to the penny.
-I have some brownies left over. Want one?
-Can we take a look at Bronty's foal when we're done here, Dad?
-Sure. As long as she don't mind.
-He says if you do it soon as they're born, it makes them real easy to handle later on.
-That's what some folks say.
-When you figure on branding?
-Teacher asked me why we raise Black Angus-Herefords 'stead of Pure Herefords.
-Now son, you tell 'em when it came from.
-I don't believe it.
-Tom?
-Bank out us a couple more men to run the cattle.
-They don't get burned by the sun bouncing off the snow. And they're good mother.
-Well, I'd like to welcome Annie and Grace to their first branding...
-It'd be a whole lot easier to pay the feed end of the month...
-We thought we lost him in the snow storm... Told the kids. Had a funeral for the damn thing. Finally, snow stops. Staring to warm up. I go out and start cleaning the truck... Goddamn if that dog doesn't jump out from the back seat covered in snow... I nearly stained myself.
-Don't you go to school?
-Why do you always wear that hat?
-Would you let me ride your horse?
-Have you talked to Tom about it?
-Of course I have.
-You wouldn't want to dance with me, would you?
-I don't thinks you'd want me tripping all over you in front of everybody.
-I wouldn't let happen.
-Yeah?
-She gonna be long?
-Probably. She's on the phone twenty- three hours a day.
-What does she do?
-She's an editor.
-Mmm. An editor.
-Isn't it like, obvious?
-That's not a question, is it?
-Can you drive?
-Drive? I'm not old enough yet.
-I can't...
-Put the key in and turn it. The right pedal is gas, the other one's the brake.
-I don't know if I can with my leg.
-Just follow this. Nothing to it. I'm going to shut my eyes here for a little while. Just keep going till you run out of road.
-I don't know if I can.
-Where did you get Pilgrim from?
-We bought him in Kentucky. My mother and I took a trip down there to see him.
-Are you afraid of anything?
-I won't tell you it'll stop feeling this bad... But I can tell you, you didn't do anything wrong... The same thing would have happened to me... or Frank... or Joe... And there's no sense in looking for a reason why things happen... I used to try and... always came up short. I don't think the why so's important as... what we do with
-I know where he goes.
-I can't... not yet...
-Sure?
-There's still something going on inside of him I can't reach. So me and Smokey here, we're going to try laying him down. Okay?
-What does that mean?
-It's more or less how it sounds. Sometimes it's not pretty to watch. Some horses fight it real hard. Your fella's already shown us he likes a good fight. So if you don't want to watch, I'll call you when it's done.
-Grace, I need you to come with me.
-No, you're only going to hurt him some more.
-He's not hurt. He's okay. Look at him.
-No!
-It's warmer than I thought.
-You want to go to a movie tonight?
-I thought your mom's coming up?
-My parents are having friends from college over. They're really nice... They have this gorgeous son who wants to be a forest ranger.
-...Oh, come on! You think the same thing!
-Do you want to go around by the old road?
-You want to go down or stay along the river?
-"... and I said that"...
-Jude, you okay?
-Have you heard from Judith's parents?
-No, not yet.
-Dad! I can do it, OK?!
-Do you want something else, honey? We order something else?
-You want to watch some television?
-Honey, you all right? Did something fall?
-What, sweetheart?
-Did you notice -- no cane?
-I know. Amazing.
-Shouldn't we have invited Tom over?
-IT WAS MY TURN!
-YA JUST HAD A TURN. IT WAS NOT.
-Don't be such a baby!
-You just showing off for her!
-You shut up, stupid!
-Hi. It's a pleasure. I'm very grateful for the way you took in my girls here. I bet you were surprised when they just showed up out of nowhere.
-I can't believe it's the same horse.
-We still have a way to go.
-Well, like I told your wife, it's really up to Pilgrim.
-Is the poverty worse, now, you think?
-Hey, darlin'.
-Hey, Rona. Sorry I'm late.
-You're looking fit.
-Fit? You want to check my teeth. Good crowd today. I think you'll have some fun. You going to stay for dinner?
-If it's not too much trouble, I thought I might.
-Kind of trouble I'm in the mood for.
-Oh I clear forget. You had a call from some woman in New York. She sounded pretty wound up.
-I don't any woman in New York. But from what I hear, most of them are wound up.
-What are you looking at, young man?
-How long were you married?
-Long enough.
-You ever miss it?
-Does a horse miss a saddle?
-You know, Rona, we weren't all that good together even when we were good together.
-Well, that'll happen.
-Where did you learn all this stuff?
-What stuff is that?
-About horses? I'd love to learn more about it myself. Do you offer any private lessons for riders?
-Well... Dale... you know, a lot of this stuff... it just... nuts and bolts.
-What do you mean?
-Listen to this bullshit. "This is our world now. The world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We exist without nationality, skin color, or religious bias. You wage wars, murder, cheat, lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of
-Now that's cool.
-Cool?
-Yeah, cool.
-You think it's cool?
-It's cool!
-Secret Service!
-How's it going, Ray?
-It looks good, sir. We've got an uncorrupted hard drive.
-In English, please. I didn't spend ten years protecting the president so I could finish my career feeling like an idiot.
-I'm sorry, sir. We caught him by surprise, so we don't think he had time to erase his computer files.
-Good. Good man. Alright, let's finish up here, and take him in for interrogation.
-Welcome to our show!
-As you can see, this is just a simple microcassette recorder. Hook it up to the phone and drop in five bucks in quarters.
-Record the tones that the coins make. And hang up and get your money back!
-And never again have to pay for a service that would be dirt cheap...
-...IF it weren't run by a bunch of profiteering gluttons!
-Let's keep her.
-She's rabid, but cute.
-That's it! An electronic army! If I were us, I'd get on the internet, send out a major distress signal.
-Hackers of the World, Unite!
-What's that?
-What's that?
-Oh yeah? What's that?
-Maybe. But, if I were gonna hack some heavy metal, I'd, uh, work my way back through some low security, and try the back door.
-So what do you think, can I crash at your place tonight?
-Shit!
-Shh!
-Right.
-I can't. Everybody who touches that thing gets busted, I can't afford to get arrested, I'm sorry.
-What?
-Uh... Nikon, can I... can I crash at your place tonight?
-Active matrix, man. A million psychedelic colors. Man, baby, sweet, ooo!
-Very impressive.
-Hold on a second!
-Look at this, it's so lean and clean.
-Oh man. That's universally stupid, man!
-Biggest crash in history, front page, New York Times, August 10th, 1988. I thought you was black, man! Yo, man, this is Zero Cool! Oh, shit!
-That's far out!
-Ta-da!
-Snoop onto them...
-Well, I got a lot, alright? I don't know how many but... my head hurts.
-Damn!
-...and your name goes through like seventeen computers a day. 1984, yeah right man, that's a typo. Orwell's here and now, he's living large. We have no names, man, no names. We are nameless. Can I score a fry? Thanks.
-What are you, stoned or stupid? You don't hack a bank across state lines from your house, you'll get nailed by the FBI. Where are your brains, in your ass? Don't you know anything?
-Yeah but don't forget God. System operators love to use God. It's that whole male ego thing.
-Look, you wanna be elite? You gotta do a righteous hack. None of this accidental shit.
-Oh yeah, you want a seriously righteous hack, you score one of those Gibsons man. You know, supercomputers they use to like, do physics, and look for oil and stuff?
-Cereal, man, you owe me a pack.
-It was him, man!
-You're psyched. You need to lay off of that shit.
-His parents missed Woodstock and he's been making up for it since. Hey, you hear about Joey's bust?
-Yeah. Probably had something to do with that bank in Idaho.
-I want it to have my children!
-Yeah, I bet it looks crispy in the dark.
-One-handed!
-Nonononono. Truce, you guys. Listen, we got a higher purpose here, alright? A wake up call for the Nintendo Generation. We demand free access to data, well, it comes with some responsibility. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things. What...
-Oh wow, we are fried.
-Never send a boy to do a woman's job. With me, we can do it in seven.
-Well this hasn't happened yet.
-Ai! Boom boom aiaiaiaiaee! Alright, that was a little tension breaker, that had to be done, alright?
-Cereal.
-Yeah?
-Go fix the phones.
-Who's that?
-Curtis.
-And what's he do?
-You heard of a hacker called Acid Burn? You know who he is?
-Did you talk to him?
-Yo. Check this out guys, this is insanely great, it's got a 28.8 BPS modem!
-Dead.
-Dead?
-Due to Mr. Gill's untimely demise and everything, I guess you two will have to improvise the next round.
-Dade?
-Yeah, mom?
-What are you doing?
-I'm taking over a TV network.
-Good morning. You unpack your stuff yet?
-Mm-hmm.
-Up all night again, huh?
-Can I cut the electricity to his room so he'll sleep normal hours? He's been playing with his computer all night for a solid week. Well yes, he could be playing with himself. Mmm hmm. Yes I'll ask. Dade, you like girls, don't you?
-Well, yeah, I just haven't found one as charming as you yet.
-You haven't been doing anything stupid, right, Dade? Right, Dade?!
-How was school?
-Hmmm.
-What did we learn in school today?
-Revenge.
-Aaaah. Did we meet someone special?
-No. No one special.
-Right. Anything else, you want me to mow the lawn? Oops, forgot. New York. No grass.
-Loser. I can't believe you were only eleven when you wrote this. It's quite an impressive virus. Dade, I know how you might feel about narking on your friends, but, we're hackers. For us, there's no such thing as family and friends. We're each our own country, with temporary allies and enemies. I'd like to make a treaty with you.
-I'm sorry. Who are you?
-I'm the one who understands you. Now, can we be allies?
-Shit! Come on!
-I'm fine. Oh, and Dade, try to stay out of trouble, okay?
-Blow me.
-The girl. The girl has the disc I need.
-I told you, I don't play well with others.
-Lauren Murphy is now a wanted felon in the state of Washington. Forgery, Embezzlement, two drug convictions, plus she jumped parole. When she's arrested, she will not have a trial, she will not pass go, she will go directly to jail. Then I change this file back to the original, and your mom disappears.
-That's bullshit.
-What can I tell you. Computers never lie, kid. Your mom will be arrested at work, she'll be handcuffed, and later, strip searched.
-You lay a finger on her and I'll kill you.
-Talk to me.
-I got it. But listen, Kate didn't know what's on it. I mean, she came to me to figure it out. She's not the one who planted the virus. You leave her alone.
-Game's over. Last chance to get out of this without a prison sentence. You're not good enough to beat me, you little shit.
-Yeah, maybe I'm not. But we are, you asshole.
-I found it! I found it!
-Crash Override.
-Never heard of you. Done anything?
-Yo, showtime, showtime!
-That's Razor and Blade.
-Look out, man. Lisa Blair, 26 East 7th St., apartment 16, 555-4817, BOOM!
-How did you know that?
-Seven. Wow! Burn's wetware matches her software!
-This isn't a virus. It's a worm!
-What's this one eat?
-Two days.
-They'll trace you like that man, cops are gonna find you, they're gonna find you with a smoking gun.
-Fucked if I care, man.
-Jesus, I gotta save all your asses. I help, we can do it in five minutes, man.
-Oh, shit! He got me.
-Yes!
-Here's your class.
-My... class. You mean I'm not in your class?
-Yeah, there's an Olympic size swimming pool up on the roof. Take the stairs over there.
-That's a nice score for a girl.
-Think you can do better?
-What the hell is going on?
-He's not in this class.
-I said give me time.
-Burn. You're Acid Burn. You booted me out of OTV!
-What?
-I'm Crash Override.
-What the hell are you doing?
-It's cool, I'm just looking.
-It's too much machine for you.
-It has a killer refresh rate.
-P6 chip. Triple the speed of the Pentium.
-Yeah. It's not just the chip, it has a PCI bus. But you knew that.
-Indeed. RISC architecture is gonna change everything.
-You sure this sweet machine's not going to waste?
-Crash Override. What was it. "Mess with the Best, Die Like the Rest?"
-Yeah.
-Are you challenging me?
-Name your stakes.
-If I win, you become my slave.
-Your slave?
-You wish. You'll do shit work, scan, crack copyrights, whatever I want.
-And if I win?
-Make it my first born.
-Make it our first date.
-You're not gonna win.
-And you have to smile.
-We need your help.
-What is it with you? I know we've been playing games, but, we're supposed to be on the same side and we really need your help. I really need your help.
-I'm sorry, I can't.
-Thank you.
-Okay. I'll copy it.
-Kate, listen.
-Uh, hold on...
-This is every financial transaction Ellingson conducts, yeah? From million dollar deals to the ten bucks some guy pays for gas.
-The worm eats a few cents from each transaction.
-And no one's caught it because the money isn't really gone. It's just data being shifted around.
-Right. And when the worm's ready, it zips out with the money and erases its tracks.
-Joey got cut off before he got to that part. Check it out. By this point, it's already running at, what, twice the speed as when it started.
-Whoever wrote this needs somebody to take the fall. And that's Phreak, and that's Joey, and that's us. We've got to get the rest of the file, so we can find out where the money is going before the worm disappears, so we can find out WHO created it.
-I know, I know who wrote it.
-What?
-This Ellingson security creep. I gave him a copy of the disc you gave me.
-You what?
-Why did he come to you?
-Well that's great. There goes MIT.
-I'll make it up to you!
-How?
-Shit!!
-Alright, so what have we got?
-There they are!
-Razor and Blade! They're flakes!
-A virus called Da Vinci will cause oil spills at 10:30 AM Eastern Time tomorrow.
-It's somehow connected with the worm that's stealing the money.
-Ready?
-Yeah.
-It's the Gibson, it's finding us too fast.
-Are you crazy? What are you doing?
-Dade.
-What?
-Oh, wow, she's great.
-You look good in a dress.
-You would have looked better.
-I can't believe they decided you won.
-They didn't. The guys felt it was the only way I'd get a date. Anyway, you're pretty good. You're elite.
-You know, I've been having these really weird..
-Security, uh Norm, Norm speaking.
-Norman? This is Mr. Eddie Vedder, from Accounting. I just had a power surge here at home that wiped out a file I was working on. Listen, I'm in big trouble, do you know anything about computers?
-Uhhmmm... uh gee, uh...
-Right, well my BLT drive on my computer just went AWOL, and I've got this big project due tomorrow for Mr. Kawasaki, and if I don't get it in, he's gonna ask me to commit Hari Kari...
-Uhhh.. ahahaha...
-Yeah, well, you know these Japanese management techniques. Could you, uh, read me the number on the modem?
-Uhhhmm...
-It's a little boxy thing, Norm, with switches on it... lets my computer talk to the one there...
-Excuse me.
-Yo, chill man, I'm talking to Venezuela.
-Yeah, I'm sorry, I was just looking for the principal's office.
-So, um, what's your interest in Kate Libby, eh? Academic? Purely sexual?
-Homicidal?
-Did you find the program for the virus on any of the discs we confiscated?
-No. He's either very smart or very stupid.
-Gill.
-It got you seven years probation. No computer, couldn't even use a touch tone phone.
-Must have been hell, huh? Zero Cool? A virus has been planted in the Ellingson Mineral computer system. You were our prime suspect, till we trashed your stuff and found no trace of it.
-However, we have come to believe that one Joey Pardella is involved in this Ellingson virus. He or perhaps his accomplice has a disk that Mr. Belford needs to disable that virus. We want you to help us find it.
-Hello?
-We caught 'em.
-Good.
-You're welcome.
-There's a new virus in the database.
-What's happening?
-A rabbit replicates till it overloads a file, then it spreads like cancer.
-Colonel who?
-The System Command Processor, it's the brain.
-Mr. Belford?
-My name is the Plague.
-Uh, Mr. The Plague, uh, something weird's happening on the net.
-As in what, you hapless techno-weenie?
-Never fear. I is here.
-I've narrowed the activity to terminal 23.
-We have a Zero Bug attacking all the login and overlay files.
-Die, dickweeds!
-Phreakphreakphreakphreakphreak, dudedudedudedudedudedude... I gotta...
-Joey, Joey...
-What? whatwhatwhat?
-I need a handle, man. I don't have an identity until I have a handle.
-Alright. How about the Master of Disaster, huh?
-Anyways, guys, guys, listen, listen to me. I'm in this computer right? So I'm looking around...
-You guys always think I should know everything, and you never tell me anything. Am I right?
-Alright, what are the three most commonly used passwords?
-Yo, what's up?
-Dude dude dude, I gotta talk to you a minute, listen listen listen. I copied a garbage file from...
-Big deal. A garbage file's got shit in it, Joey, come on.
-Nono, it's like hot or something. I don't know.
-Joey, a garbage file holds miscellaneous data. Junk. Bits of stuff that's been erased, man.
-Hey! What are you guys doing in here?
-What is he doing in here?
-Any questions?
-Hello?
-Hey, it's me.
-Phreak?
-I'm freaking! Joey wasn't making it up! He really hacked into Ellingson! He gave me the disc with a file he copied and now I'm in jail! They're charging me with some serious shit! And there's stuff I didn't even do, like inserting some virus called Da Vinci, and they keep asking about you guys.
-You think they're going to bust us?
-Good morning, Gentlemen. Please be seated. I see we're still dressing in the dark, Eugene.
-Once again, don't call me Eugene. A recent unknown intruder penetrated, using a superuser acount, giving him access to our whole system.
-Precisely what you're paid to prevent.
-A hacker planted the virus.
-Virus?
-Yesterday, the ballast program for a supertanker training model mistakenly thought the vessel was empty, and flooded its tanks.
-Excuse me?
-The little boat flipped over. A virus planted in the Gibson computer system claimed responsibility.
-So what are we supposed to do?
-What the hell was that all about?
-I had to move fast. The hacker copied my garbage file.
-What?
-I created Mister da Vinci so we could call in the Secret Service. So they'd arrest the hacker, sieze his equipment, things that we can't do on our own.
-I don't want to go to jail for this.
-Relax. Think about the 25 million dollars.
-But you've created a virus that's going to cause a worldwide ecological disaster, just to arrest some hacker kid?
-Basically, uhmm, yeah. Mmm hmmm.
-Jesus. You know, you're sick, Eugene. You...
-Murphy kid turn you down?
-I disguised myself as an Alabama State Trooper and penetrated the FBI NCIC.
-The FBI computer holds files on twenty million Americans. I just hacked into it.
-Congratulations.
-From here I got access to every piece of data ever stored on Dade Murphy's parents. His parents separated five years ago, reconciled two years later, filed for divorce last year, custody battle, boy chose to go with his mother. Hmm.
-So?
-They had a large chunk of the garbage file? How much do they know?
-Not everything. But enough to implicate us.
-You said the worm was untreaceable!
-Yeah. To civilians. But they're hackers. But don't worry. All we have to do is launch the Da Vinci virus, and then they'll all be put away.
-Launch the Da Vinci virus? You can't do that!
-What is it? What's wrong?
-Nothing, it's just a minor glitch.
-Send a Flu-shot.
-Thank you.
-Hello, operator services.
-Hello, operator? I'm having trouble dialing a number.
-What number please?
-555-4202.
-Just one moment.
-Purpose of visit?
-A patient pickup and transfer to Smith's Grove.
-You're late.
-Yeah. Should be on the road.
-Yeah, ha, hell of a night huh?
-Real charmer.
-I'll take you down there.
-Rachel! What are you doing here? I thought I was supposed to pick you up?
-Jamie needs a Halloween costume.
-We need to talk.
-Okay sure. What about?
-What?
-My parents baby-sitter canceled.
-So?
-So I have to watch Jamie tonight.
-When did you find this out?
-This morning.
-Well you found out this morning? Why didn't you tell me before? I mean it's 5 o'clock now Rachel...shit
-Don't get angry.
-Can I come over after Jamie's asleep?
-My parents are going to come home early tonight.
-So?
-I don't know Brady.
-Rachel, I've got an expl-- I've got an explanation.
-Just leave me alone and lets forget it.
-I mean, you blew off our date at last minute.
-So you hop on to the next best thing? I thought you were different from other guys.
-I am different, it's just that I just got pissed off...that's all.
-Are you two okay?
-We've been better.
-What's going on?
-Michael Myers.
-Who's that?
-No, no, we have to get out of here right now.
-Not without Jamie.
-You think she stands a chance?
-Is there another key?
-Its metal, god dammit its metal.
-What does that mean?
-Brady!
-Get back!
-Brady!
-Shit!
-Brady! Come with us.
-Go!
-Brady!
-Brady!
-Get up there Rachel!
-Brady! Come with us! Brady!
-When did this happen?
-Sometime in the night. They probably lost the road in the storm. Come down the embankment. It happens.
-An accident?
-It's hard to tell, there all chewed up.
-I've seen bodies thrown 50-60 feet from a crash site.
-Hang on Mrs. Pierce. Not that tie, on the other side. That's not the only thing your eating Rachel.
-Mom, please
-You'll have to watch Jamie tonight.
-Not tonight. I've got that date with Brady. You know how important that is.
-Well tonight is very important for your father and me.
-Can't you find somebody else?
-Its too late.
-What am I supposed to tell Brady? Sorry, but I've got to baby-sit my foster sister, go and have fun by yourself.
-How do we look?
-You guys always look great.
-We'll be at the Fallbrooks. The number's next to the phone.
-Oh dear God. Its all right...a bad dream, just a nasty old dream.
-Clean one in the laundry room next to your blue slacks. Hello?
-Found it.
-Sorry. Do you suppose Susan could just bring her crutches? Oh, stupid question. Tell her I hope she feels better. Susan's mother, she can't baby-sit tonight.
-Why not?
-Honey, I don't think their home.
-How do you know their not?
-Because the lights are all out.
-I told them to be here by nine. Its not 9:30 yet.
-We should call the fire department.
-Why wasn't I notified?
-About what?
-You know damn well about what. You let them take it out of here.
-For Christ sakes. Spare me the speech. I've listened to it for a decade. The fact is that Michael Myers was a federal patient, and a federal prisoner therefore he is subject to federal law.
-We're not talking about any ordinary prisoner Hoffman! We are talking about evil on two legs.
-I don't want to have anyone live through that night again.
-Why shouldn't I?
-How many people in the bus?
-Four plus Myers.
-Now where are you going?
-Yes.
-I'm Dr. Hoffman, Medical Administrator.
-Has he been prepped?
-Ready to go. Who signs for him?
-I do.
-Outside.
-I'd assumed Dr. Loomis would be here. Michael Myers was his patient.
-Watch it.
-I can safely say that Michael Myers is now in your hands.
-Night Doc.
-Not like 'ol Ben Meeker do something like that.
-Sure ain't. Martians could land on Ben's doorstep, all he'd do is spit once and get himself a shot gun.
-Who you calling?
-We're going to Ben's. The phone never just rings at a police station.
-What the hell did this?
-Like the last time? How many people killed back then? How many kids?
-Shit, Earl. It's Ted Holster.
-Okay everybody, listen up. I've got Rachel Corruthers and her sister in the truck, and I'm taking them outta town route 410. State police are on the way. Got that?
-Got it Earl.
-Kido. It's four in the morning.
-I can't sleep.
-What is this? Four nights in a row? You going for a record here? The seven year olds insomniacs hall of fame?
-Do you love me Rachel?
-Oh, serious questions tonight. Of course I love you.
-Like a sister?
-Jamie, sometimes it's...
-Like a real sister?
-Sure it does.
-I know you miss your parents, its hasn't been that long.
-It's been eleven months.
-Your mother used to baby-sit me when I was your age. I bet you didn't know that.
-Your lucky. I wish she could do the same for me.
-Sure it is. I think tonight Brady was ready to make a commitment. But now my future relationship, my engagement, my marriage, my children, your grandchildren, have all been wiped out because I have to baby sit tonight.
-Jamie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I can go out with Brady tomorrow night. Its no big deal.
-But you wanted to go out tonight. It's my fault that you can't.
-Well tonight we're going to do something better. We're going to go trick-or-treating.
-I don't want to.
-How about this afternoon I pick you up from school and we go get ice cream?
-Double scoops?
-Hi.
-You ready for some Ice Cream?
-I wanna go trick-or-treating like the other kids.
-The Discount Mart. Can we get Ice Cream after?
-Come on Rachel.
-Jamie, what happened?
-It was the nightmare man
-What?
-Rachel, can I go get my costume on?
-Come on Rachel!
-Coming.
-I thought you said you were ready.
-Jamie, wait for me.
-Had enough?
-No way! Halloween's great. Can we stay out all night?
-Can we go home soon Rachel?
-Jamie!
-Rachel come on.
-No.
-I'm gonna lower you to the chimney, okay Jamie?
-I can't.
-Rachel!
-I've got you come on, go down.
-What are you doing out here alone?
-Everybody's dead. I just wanna go home.
-We'll hear sirens soon.
-Then we'll be safe?
-You don't believe that do you?
-Rachel, take your sister upstairs. First door on the right.
-Dad, what's going on?
-Kelly, I want you to close and lock all the downstairs windows.
-Why?
-That's all the windows, Dad.
-Why don't you go make some coffee.
-Hi Rachel.
-I didn't know you and Brady had anything okay?
-You knew. You just didn't care.
-He's not married. Besides, I've got a right to do what's best for me.
-Don't you mean what you do best?
-You remember Lindsay don't you?
-You know Rach, Discount Mart is having a sale on Halloween costumes.
-No. Brady's working there till 6:00 today.
-I know! Don't you want to talk to him?
-I don't want to look pushy.
-You won't look pushy.
-Well I don't want to come on too strong. A guy hates a girl to come on strong. Fragile egos and all of that.
-You won't come on too strong.
-Well I don't want to seem desperate or anything.
-Fact it Rach, you are desperate. Your just going to go in and buy a costume for Jamie. Perfectly legit.
-I don't know.
-Well do I drop you off at the Discount Mart or the Dairy Queen?
-Call me.
-Hell of a night.
-Its not over yet.
-Where are you going?
-The Corruther's house. That's where Jamie lives, that's where he'll go.
-Leave Myers for the state boys.
-The state police won't know how to stop him.
-Do you?
-Logan, I want you to stay here in case the family gets back.
-Right here, Ben.
-You look sharp. You understand?
-132 to 133 this is 134.
-This is 132, over.
-Go to my house. We'll call the state force from there.
-You got your riot gun?
-Yeah in the trunk of my squad.
-Get the outside shutters.
-What are we doing?
-Making sure that no one can get in here.
-Isn't this all a little paranoid?
-Now I pad locked the back door, this is the only way in and out of this house. You got that?
-I'll be out on gateway and I doubt I'll be back before the troopers get here.
-Maybe you ought to wait here till they do.
-I am. Ben Meeker.
-Oh, Sheriff Meeker, my name is Dr. ...
-Loomis. Folks around here aren't likely to forget your face. At least not cops. So what brings you back here after 10 years?
-Michael Myers has escaped from Ridgemont. He's here in Haddonfield.
-That's impossible. Michael Myers is an invalid.
-He's here, Sheriff.
-Why?
-10 years ago he tried to kill Laurie Strode, and now he wants her daughter.
-Are you talking about Jamie Lloyd?
-Where ever she is, that little girl is in mortal danger.
-Six bodies, Sheriff! That's what I have seen between here and Ridgemont. A filling station in flames. I'm telling you Michael Myers is here in this town. He's here to kill that little girl and anybody that gets in his way.
-Hank, call the troopers and check his story out. And assuming what you say is true..
-Its true, Sheriff.
-All right, all right. Its true, what the hell can we do to avoid a repeat of what happened 10 years ago?
-When he makes that call.
-Something?
-He's been here.
-This is starting to spook me.
-Is that him? Is that him?
-Oh Christ. Doc...
-Oh Christ. They wouldn't have given up without a fight.
-How can a man do this Loomis? Tell me.
-It isn't a man.
-What is he? Tell me! What the hell are we dealing with?
-It was Michael Myers. He's come home to kill.
-You son of a bitch, you just created a lynch mob.
-Where's that Deputy?
-Where's the radio?
-How's it powered?
-It's over.
-These kids aren't likely to forget.
-Thank you.
-How far are you going, Mr. Sayer?
-Gods Country, Promise Land. Where are you heading Mr..ah
-Loomis. Haddonfield.
-Car trouble?
-Sort of.
-Your hunting it, ain't ya? Yeah, your hunting it all right, just like me.
-What are you hunting, Mr. Sayer?
-I know that Mr. Sayer.
-Rachel, Jamie. Thank God!
-Sheriff, what is going on out there?
-All right Rachel, you stay by this radio. The state boys will send word once their in route. When that word comes you go tell deputy Logan.
-Okay.
-Now you understand?
-Sheriff Meeker, we killed him.
-Jamie! Get away!
-Hi, Annie, Laurie...
-Hi, Dad. What happened?
-What?
-What happened?
-Someone broke into the hardware store. Probably kids.
-You blame everything on kids.
-You're going to be late at the Doyles, Annie.
-You're going to be late!
-Why didn't you wait for me?
-We did. Fifteen minutes. You totally never showed up.
-It's been totally charted.
-We just talked.
-Sure.
-Well, are we still on for tonight?
-I wouldn't want to get you in deep trouble, Lynda.
-Come on, Annie. Bob and I have been planning on it all week.
-What time?
-I don't know yet. I have to get out of taking my stupid brother trick-or- treating.
-Saving the treats for Bob?
-What's wrong, Annie? You're not smiling.
-I'm never smiling again. Paul dragged me into the boys' locker room to tell me...
-Shit!
-I have a place for that.
-I'M baby sitting for the Doyles. It's only three houses away. We can keep each other company.
-Look.
-Look where?
-I don't see anything.
-That man who drove by so fast, the one you yelled at.
-He was standing right here.
-Poor Laurie. You scared another one away.
-It's tragic. You never go out. You must have a small fortune stashed from babysitting so much.
-Well, home sweet home. I'll see you later.
-Hello?
-Why did you hang up on me?
-Annie, was that you?
-Of course.
-Why didn't you say anything? You scared me to death.
-I had my mouth full. Couldn't you hear me?
-I thought it was an obscene phone call.
-Now you hear obscene chewing. You're losing it, Laurie.
-I've already lost it.
-I doubt that. Listen, my mother is letting me use her car. I'll pick you up. 6:30.
-Sure, see you later.
-You still spooked?
-I wasn't spooked.
-Lies.
-I saw someone standing in Mr. Riddle's back yard.
-Probably Mister Riddle.
-He was watching me.
-Mister Riddle was watching you? Laurie, Mister Riddle is eighty-seven.
-He can still watch.
-What's the pumpkin for?
-I brought it for Tommy. I figured making a Jack-O-Lantern would keep him occupied.
-I always said you'd make a fabulous girl scout.
-Thanks.
-I hate that dog. I'm the only person in the world he doesn't like.
-What's this big, big news?
-What would you say if I told you that you were going to the Homecoming Dance tomorrow night?
-I'd say you must have the wrong number.
-Well, I just talked with Ben Tramer and he got real excited when I told him how attracted you were to him.
-Annie, you didn't. Tell me you didn't.
-You'll have to. He's calling you tomorrow to find out what time to pick you up.
-Fancy.
-This has not been my night. My clothes are in the wash, I spilled butter down the front of me, I got stuck in a window...
-I'm glad you're here because I have something I want you to do. I want you to call up Ben Tramer and tell him you were just fooling around.
-I can't.
-Yes, you can.
-Wait a minute here...
-If you watch her, I'll CONSIDER talking to Ben Tramer in the morning.
-Deal. Hey, I thought Paul was grounded.
-Get him out of here!
-Lindsey, Lester's barking again and getting on my nerves again.
-Annie, Paul's on the phone!
-You locked yourself in.
-I'm scared.
-Then why are you sitting here with half the lights off?
-I don't know.
-Well, come on, get your coat. We're going to pick up Paul.
-I don't want to.
-Look, Lindsey, I thought we understood each other...
-Yes.
-Now... First we'll talk a little, then Annie will distract Lindsey and we sneak quietly up the stairs to the first bedroom on the left. Got it?
-You idiot!
-...Then you rip my clothes off. Then we rip LYNDSEY'S clothes off. I think I've got it.
-I wonder where they went.
-I can't help it. It just keeps ringing.
-That's great. Now you'll be too drunk to...
-Just answer the damn phone.
-Fantastic. Totally.
-Yeah.
-Want a beer?
-Yeah.
-Is that all you say?
-Yeah.
-Go get me a beer.
-I thought you were gonna get one for me.
-My parents won't be back till ten.
-We're all alone, aren't we?
-I gotta go.
-Will you call me tomorrow?
-Yeah, sure.
-Promise?
-Sheriff? I'm Doctor Sam Loomis.
-I'd like to talk to you, if I could.
-May be a few minutes. I gotta stick around here...
-Ten minutes.
-Anybody live here?
-Not since 1963, since it happened. Every kid in Haddonfield thinks this place is haunted.
-Come on... A skunk could have killed it...
-A man wouldn't do that...
-I suppose I do seem a bit sinister for a doctor.
-Looks like to me you're just plain scared.
-What do we do?
-He was here, earlier tonight, and he may be coming back. I'm going to wait for him.
-I keep thinking I should call the radio and TV stations...
-If you do they'll be seeing him everywhere, on every street corner, in every house. Just tell your men to shut their mouths and open their eyes.
-Jesus!
-You all right?
-Sure...
-Nothing's going on. Just kids playing pranks, trick or treating, partying, getting high... I have the feeling you're way off on this...
-You have the wrong feeling.
-You're not coming up with much to prove me wrong.
-Exactly what do you need?
-Well, it's going to take more than fancy talk to keep me up all night creeping around these bushes.
-I watched him for fifteen years, sitting in a room staring at a wall, not seeing the wall, seeing past it, seeing THIS NIGHT. He's waited for it, inhumanly patient. Hour after hour, day after day, waiting for some silent, invisible alarm to trigger him. Death has arrived in your little town, sheriff. You can ignore it, or you can help me stop it.
-More fancy talk... You want to know what Haddonfield is? Families. Children, all lined up in rows, up and down these streets. You're telling me they're lined up for a slaughterhouse.
-They could be.
-Where were you? I went back to the Myers house...
-I found the car! He's here!
-Where?
-It's totally insane! We have three new cheers to learn in the morning, the game in the afternoon, I get my hair done at five, and the dance is at eight. I'll be totally wiped out!
-I think you have too much to do tomorrow.
-TOTALLY!
-As usual, I don't have anything to do.
-I thought you were babysitting tonight.
-Isn't that David Graham? He's cute.
-Annie, some day you're going to get us all in deep trouble.
-Hi, Laurie, what's up?
-Nothing. I was just sitting down for the first time tonight.
-Is Annie around?
-No. I thought she'd be home by now. She went to pick up Paul.
-Well, she's totally not here.
-They probably stopped off somewhere. Have her call me when she gets back. I've got Lyndsey here and I want to know what time to put her to bed.
-Okay. Later.
-Hey, Laurie...
-Are you coming over tonight?
-Same time, same place.
-Can we make Jack-O-Lanterns?
-Sure.
-Can we watch the monster movies?
-Sure.
-Will you read to me? Can we make popcorn?
-Yes, I am.
-Uh-uh. That's a spook house.
-Lonnie Elam said never to go up there. Lonnie Elam said that's a haunted house. He said real awful stuff happened there once.
-I gotta go. I'll see you tonight.
-..."how now, cried Arthur. 'Then no one may pass this way without a fight?' 'That is so,' answered the night in a bold and haughty manner..."
-I don't like that story.
-Not any more.
-Why are they under there?
-'Neutron Man'... 'Laser Man'... I can see why. 'Tarantula Man'...
-Laurie...
-What about the Jack-O-Lantern?
-After the movie.
-What about the rest of my comic books?
-After the Jack-O-Lantern.
-What about the bogyman?
-There is no such thing.
-Richie said he was coming after me tonight.
-Do you believe everything that Richie tells you?
-No...
-I saw the bogyman. I saw him outside.
-There was no one outside.
-There WAS.
-What did he look like?
-The bogyman!
-We're no getting anywhere. All right, look, Tommy. The bogyman can only come out on Halloween night, right?
-Right.
-And I'm here tonight and I won't let him get to you.
-Promise?
-I promise.
-Tommy, stop it! You're scaring Lindsey.
-I saw him...
-Who is it?
-Tommy, I want you to go back upstairs...
-What is it, Laurie?
-Be quiet! Get Lindsey and get into the bedroom and lock the door!
-I'm scared...
-DO WHAT I SAY! NOW!
-It's the bogyman, isn't it?
-Now I want you to change your clothes, Tommy. We're going to take a walk outside.
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
-How?
-I killed him...
-Laurie, you come with us...
-Everybody has a good time tonight. Okay, kids, what do you want to do now?
-Let's make more popcorn.
-I'm scared!
-Now, I want you to walk to the door, down the stairs and right out the front door.
-You're coming with us...
-Hello.
-Hi, Lindsey, this is Paul. Is Annie there?
-Yes, she is.
-Will you get her for me?
-She's washing her clothes.
-Well, go tell her it's me, okay?
-I'm not responsible, Sam.
-Of course not.
-I've given them his profile.
-He was your patient, Doctor. If the precautions weren't sufficient, you should have notified...
-I notified everybody! Nobody listened.
-There's nothing else I can do.
-You can get back on the telephone and tell them exactly what walked out of here last night. And tell them where he's going.
-PROBABLY going.
-Sam, Haddonfield is a hundred and fifty miles from here. How could he get there? He can't drive.
-...then he gets another physical by the state, and he makes his appearance before the judge. That should take four hours if we're lucky, then we're on our way.
-What did you use before?
-Thorazin.
-He'll barely be able to sit up.
-The driveway's a few hundred yards up on your right.
-Are there any special instructions?
-Just try to understand what we're dealing with here. Don't underestimate it.
-I think we should refer to 'it' as 'him.'
-If you say so.
-Ever done anything like this before?
-Only minimum security.
-I see.
-What does that mean?
-It means... I see.
-You don't have to make this harder than it already is.
-I couldn't if I tried.
-The only thin that ever bothers me is their jibberish. When they start raving on and on...
-Pull up to the entrance!
-Shouldn't we pick him up?
-What did he say?
-He asked me if I could help him find his purple lawnmower.
-I don't think this is any time to be funny...
-...any sister talk?
-Oh, good...
-Come in, come in.
-...because there are no interesting single men at this party!
-Hm-mm. Oh, yeah. I met Phil.
-Mmm?
-I love that. That's my type.
-We need more bread and some baked lasa-- uh, lasagne. Hi.
-I know. You're an actress with a great flair for shrimp puffs.
-And the quail is responsible for the quail eggs.
-Hi.
-Wha-- What kind of things do you build?
-Are you really interested?
-You know, April, people pass by vital structures in this city all the time, and they never take the time to appreciate them. I get the feeling you tune in to your environment.
-What are your favorite buildings, David?
-You want to see some?
-Oh, yeah.
-Well, let's do it.
-That's just --
-Yeah.
-Uh, who gets dropped first?
-Yeah.
-And then, uh, April...huh?
-I know. It's terrible!
-No, really, I really like him a lot.
-Hannah will invite some men over who don't look like Ichabod Crane.
-We're a big hit.
-Wow, it's the red one?
-Oh!
-Oh, is that what it is?
-Uh-- APRIL I-i-it has an o-organic quality, you know.
-Right.
-It's French, though. It really is.
-Yeah.
-That's disgusting!
-...a monstrosity! Who would do that?
-Well...we have seen a lot of stuff today, though.
-Oh, geez, yeah.
-Well, I live downtown.
-Uh...
-It depends on what way you want to go.
-Well, wait. You know what? I know.
-Uh...
-Well, sometimes, some, uh...
-I'm telling you, you sounded great. You, uh, you may be surprised.
-Oh, I'm just glad we have a catering job this week. I'm real low on money.
-Yeah, we have Mr. Morris Levine's eightieth birthday party on Riverside Drive...or Riverside Memorial Chapel, depending on his health.
-Oh, uh, listen, David called me up.
-What?
-Uh, David called me last night, and he wants to take me to the opera. I didn't know what to say.
-You're joking.
-No, he called late last night.
-I, uh, I'm very surprised.
-He wants to take me to see Rigoletto.
-And you, you-you're going?
-Well, I-I-I didn't know what to say. First I said no, but then, he pressed it. He said, uh, he'd taken you once and he really wanted to invite me.
-But I'm seeing him.
-I know. I said that, but... he said it was something he really felt like doing.
-Gee, um... I...I don't know what to say.
-Oh, that was a wonderful show. I think that's the best show you two ever wrote.
-Mm-hm.
-We got that idea on that trip to Paris.
-Right.
-Hmm?
-I gave blood before and, uh... clothing to the poor.
-Okay, Norman, listen, I really want to talk about this at home. I think it's a matter for your analyst...and mine.
-Excuse me, are there any more claims?
-Only a few. A few. Do you like 'em?
-I can't resist.
-Really? How flattering! Did you try the shrimp puffs?
-Listen, you guys are too attractive to be caterers. Something's wrong.
-We're actresses.
-Is this your first job?
-Really? Is the food that bad?
-Here, I stole you a couple of extra clams.
-You're Holly.
-Yeah, we're the Stanislavski Catering Company.
-Now I'm going to tell you the truth. I really came in here because I was bored stiff by the party.
-We saw, um, Pavarotti, eh, uh, in Ernani at the Met, and I cried...
-Oh, what, what do you do?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-The design's deliberately noncontextural. But I wanted to... keep the atmosphere of the street, you know, and the proportions.
-Uh-huh.
-Oh, it's just so romantic. I just want to put on a long gown...
-Yes.
-And it's got a handsome partner sitting right beside it.
-Yeah.
-It's really sad.
-And it ruins everything else.
-Yeah.
-Maybe we should start thinking about going home, huh?
-Oh, gee, I don't know. Um...
-We could...we could do that.
-Y-you live in Chelsea, don't you?
-Yes.
-Well, I-I guess if you live in Chelsea, that's probably first.
-So what's the, uh, problem this time?
-So, so, but it was when I was younger, so--
-You know, I saw your father this week about his sinus...
-Mm-hm.
-...and, uh, he complained of chest pains.
-Well, this guy's the real hypochondriac of the family. I mean, he's, you know, he's--
-You mentioned on the phone that you'd had some dizziness.
-Now I ca-can't remember.
-Well, I'm sorry to say you have had a significant drop in the high- decibel range of your right ear.
-Have you been exposed to a loud noise recently, or did you have a virus?
-I always, I-I always imagine that I have things.
-When did you first notice this?
-You've had some dizzy spells. What about ringing and buzzing? Have you, uh, noticed any of that?
-Yes, now-now that you mention it, uh, I-I-I have, uh, buzzing and also ringing. Ringing and buzzing. Um, am I going deaf, or something?
-And it's just in one ear?
-What I'd like to do, is to make an appointment for you at the hospital. I'd like to have them run some tests.
-Now, don't get alarmed. These are just more sophisticated audiometry tests than I can run here. I mean, it's, it's nothing.
-Well, if it's nothing, then why do I have to go into the hospital at all? I mean, uh, I hear perfectly fine, so I'm, so I'm a little weak on the, on the high decibels. So I, you know, I won't go to the opera.
-You know, there's no reason for panic. I just want to rule out some things.
-Like what?
-Dusty's just bought a huge house in Southampton and he's in the process of decorating it.
-How ya doin', man?
-I told him about your work, and he's very excited.
-What a weirdo that guy is! Paranoid. What's the matter with you?
-Look I-I-I'll be okay. I'll be okay.
-It's not that big a deal. We just didn't hit it off.
-Now, look, you-you-you go on ahead.
-Hi, Dusty.
-Are you excited about becoming a collector? DUSTY Yeah.
-Yeah?
-I got a lot more to learn, though. I really wasn't into art when I was a kid.
-Frederick's done this whole new series that I'm sure you would really love.
-Well, are...are they big?
-Yeah. Some of them...yeah, some of them are very big.
-You-- Standards and Practices?
-Ed Smythe, yes.
-Child molestation is a touchy subject...
-Could you--
-...with the affiliates.
-Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
-Yes, but you name names.
-We--
-Oh, you know, I, I love that book you lent me. The Easter Parade? You were right. It had very special meaning for me.
-Oh, well, you know Frederick. One of his moods. Although it wasn't a bad week. He uh, sold a picture.
-Really? So, so, what else? Wh- what are you up to?
-Like, uh...?
-Yeah.
-Oh, my goodness!
-Oh, Elliot!
-Hi.
-What are you doing here?
-Well, I'm-I'm looking for a bookstore.
-Oh, what, in this section of town?
-Yes. Yeah, I-I'm kill--
-You're out looking here?
-Well, yes, I'm killing time. I have a client near here and I...I'm quite early.
-Ohhhh!
-How about you?
-Oh. Well, I live--
-Oh, yes! You live near here, don't you?
-Yes, I do.
-Where are you headed?
-Well, listen, you didn't know me before Frederick. I'd...I'd start with a beer at about ten in the morning, and...go on.
-Oh. You must have been, uh, very unhappy.
-I'll never understand it. You're so bright and charming and beautiful.
-Oh, God.
-I think to myself what problems could she possibly have?
-Don't let me get started on my childhood. Oh, you know what? There is a bookstore.
-Yes? LEE A couple of blocks from here. If you don't know about it, you should. You'd really love it.
-Yes?
-Yeah, you would.
-Well, i-if-if you have some free time...
-Isn't this great? They have everything here.
-Yes, it's-it's wonderful.
-Oh, book? Oh, no, I... I'm killing time. I...I-I just, uh, w-want to browse, uh...
-Unless, of course, if-if you had some time, I mean, we could get some coffee.
-No, no. I-I-I understand completely. No problem. Y-you're busy. I-I-I...
-You seem tense. Is everything all right? You feel okay?
-No! No...
-No?
-Uh, yes!
-Yes.
-Yeah. How are you?
-I'm...all right.
-Fine. Oh, we went to the Caravaggio exhibition at the Met. It's such a treat to go through a museum with Frederick. I mean...you learn so much. Do you like Caravaggio?
-e.e. cummings. I'd like to get you this.
-Oh, no, I can't let you get me that. That's too much.
-Oh, oh, yes. I-I-I-'d like to, uh, uh, very much.
-No, I don't think so.
-I-I read a poem of you and thought of his last week. A poem of his and thought of you last-- You'll be fine, though. Lee walks over to Elliot in the center aisle. She looks at the book.
-Uh, uh, this is great. I mean, I love e.e. cummings, but I can't let you get this.
-Yes, I'd...I-I-I'd love, I'd love to get you this.
-Well, sure.
-Well, thanks a lot.
-Thanks for showing me the bookstore. Perhaps you could, uh, take me to an AA meeting sometime. Uh...uh, I'd love to see what goes on.
-Well, yeah, yeah. You'd love it. It's really entertaining. You'd have a good time. I know you would.
-Page a hundred and twelve.
-Bye.
-How's everything?
-Oh, you know...I talked to Hannah this morning on the phone, and she said that you two might be going to the country for the weekend.
-Yeah, she loves to go out in the woods.
-Oh, yeah.
-I have to get my teeth cleaned this week.
-I figured I'd get, uh, Frederick and Dusty together.
-Oh, yeah, that's really nice of you.
-Yes. This kid, he's earned a trillion dollars.
-Oh.
-He's got like six gold records.
-Oh, you-you have that one?
-Yeah.
-Oh, and Holly met a wonderful man who loves opera. An architect.
-Isn't that beautiful?
-Uh...did you ever get around to e.e. cummings?
-They have a very large gay clientele, you know, where I get my teeth cleaned, and...all the hygienists now wear gloves because they're afraid of AIDS.
-Did you ever get around to the poem on page a hundred and twelve?
-And be ready to make light of the offer if she's unresponsive. This has to be done very skillfully, very diplomatically.
-Elliot! Don't!
-Oh!
-What are you doing?!
-Elliot!
-I was looking for you.
-I, I must apologize. I-I'm, I-I'm sorry. I'm so mixed up.
-Wh--, uh, I know, I know but, I am in love with you.
-Oh, don't say those words!
-I-I, I'm sorry. I know it's terrible.
-I know! I-I-I-I, I realize.
-What do you expect me to say?
-Hannah and I are in the last stages.
-Wh-- She's never said anything, and we're very close. She'd tell me such a thing.
-Wh--, it-it-it-it, it's so sad. She's crazy about me, but somewhere on the, along the line, I've fallen out of love with her.
-Not because of me, I hope.
-Oh, no, no. Well, yes! I love you.
-Oh, I can't be the cause of anything between you and Hannah. I jus--
-Oh, no, no, no. It, uh, it-it-it- it was i-inevitable that Hannah and I part, anyway.
-Why?
-Tch, w-well, for a million reasons.
-But not over me?
-Tch, no! We were, we were both going in different directions.
-Poor Hannah.
-But-but, but how about you? Do you, do you share any of my feelings? Or is this just an unpleasant embarrassment to you?
-I can't say anything!
-W-well, please be candid. I, I-I don't want you to feel bad.
-O-o-o-okay, Lee. Okay, okay. You, you, y-you've said enough. It's my responsibility now. I will work things out.
-Look, don't do anything on my behalf. I live with Frederick, and Hannah and I are close.
-Yes, but you, you do care about me.
-Your guilt is because you feel the same.
-I thought you weren't coming.
-I almost didn't.
-Lee... uh...
-I didn't sleep all night.
-I-I couldn't think where to invite you without taking risks.
-This is not an easy situation.
-That was just perfect. You've ruined me for anyone else.
-I don't want anyone else ever to have you.
-I was so worried I wouldn't compare with Hannah.
-You really do have those thoughts, don't you?
-I know she must be a really passionate person.
-Yes, she's, she's very warm, but, but it-it's me that wants to be giving to you. I-I-I want to do things for you. Hannah doesn't need me as much. I'm being presumptuous. Not that you need me.
-You've been very cold to me tonight.
-No.
-Is something wrong?
-It's over, Elliot. I don't know how to make it any clearer. It's over. I can't see you anymore.
-Uh... I-I-I know. I deserve this.
-Look, I'm just as much at fault.
-If-if-if you can believe I have such feelings for you!
-But it hasn't been forever.
-It's been nearly a year since our first time and you're still married to my sister, which...I now realize is fine because you're probably much more in love with her than you know.
-Yeah, but we-we made so many plans.
-And you're in love overnight?
-I care a great deal about him, yes.
-Lee...
-Mm-hm?
-They're fantastic.
-Aren't they great?
-Your sister is an unbelievable cook.
-She has all the cooking talent.
-No, she doesn't, either. You've got tons as well.
-Great idea.
-I know.
-God, Mickey's such a hypochondriac. I wonder how he'd handle it if there was ever anything really wrong with him?
-Let's go have dinner, shall we?
-You bet.
-Where're you going?
-I've, uh...gotta find, gotta get a phone number in my desk. I forgot to phone Mel Kaufman.
-It's so late.
-Are you in a bad mood?
-Yes. I know. The last few weeks, you haven't been yourself. And tonight at, tonight at dinner, you, you were kind of curt with me.
-Was I?
-Yes, you were. A-and when I, when I brought up the idea of having a baby, you just, you jumped down my throat.
-Well, I-I don't think it's a very good idea.
-Why not?
-Because it's the last thing in the world we need right now.
-Why do you say that? Is there something wrong?
-I don't know.
-Well, tell me. Should I be worried?
-But, you got four children!
-I want one with you.
-Well...I-I think we should wait till things settle.
-But what do, what do you-- what's that mean? W-w-we've been, we've been married for four years. How settled can things get?
-You know, y-you have some very set plans on how your life should be structured. A-a house, uh, kids, certain schools, a h--, a home in Connecticut. I-it's all very...preconceived.
-Yeah, but I...uh--I thought you needed that. When-when-when we met, you said your life was chaos.
-Oh, let's not--I, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
-Are you angry with me?
-No!
-Do you feel, um...are you disenchanted with our marriage?
-I didn't say that.
-Are you in love with someone else?
-Well, what? What, wh-what are you not telling me?
-What kind of interrogation... Su- supposing I said yes? I-I-I am disenchanted. I am in love with someone else.
-Are you?
-No! But you keep asking these, these awful questions. My God, it's-it's like you want me to say yes!
-Have you been talking to Holly or Lee about us? About our-our personal life?
-I'm not accusing. I'm asking. Do you...do you find me too...too giving? Too-too-too competent? Too-too, I don't know, disgustingly perfect or something?
-Well, what is it then? What? Eh, what's come between us? How have I alienated you?
-Do you talk to Holly or Lee behind my back? Do you? You must. They- they seem to know so much about us.
-Well, what do you do? Do-do-do you talk to Holly, or Lee, or what? Do you, do you, do you phone them?
-You matter to me. Completely.
-It's so pitch-black tonight. I feel lost.
-...this is a toast! This is a toast.
-Get his wine away.
-I am... I did slave all day.
-I don't know about that. Oh, no, I just, see, I-I've been very, very lucky. W-when I had the kids, I decided to stop working and just, you know, devote myself to having the family, and I've been very, very happy but...I've always secretly hoped that maybe some little gem would come along and tempt me back on the stage...
-Yeah.
-Hi. How's she doing?
-Don't make it worse, Dad.
-Hi, Mom. How you doing? Here, let me get you some coffee. That's enough of that. What triggered it?
-I want ice! Who's got some-- Oh, there it is.
-Oh, Mom!
-I don't understand. I thought that you would be happy.
-Well, because I never thought of God in my life. Now I'm giving it serious thought.
-But Catholicism? Why not your own people?
-Because I got off to a wrong foot with my own thing, you know. B-b- b-but I need a dramatic change in my life. FATHER You're gonna believe in Jesus Christ?
-I know it sounds funny, but I'm gonna try.
-But why? We raised you as a Jew.
-Why should I be afraid?
-Oh! 'Cause you won't exist!
-So?
-Who thinks about such nonsense? Now I'm alive. When I'm dead, I'll be dead.
-I don't understand. Aren't you frightened?
-Of what? I'll be unconscious.
-Yeah, I know. But never to exist again!
-How do you know?
-I'll either be unconscious or I won't. If not, I'll deal with it then. I'm not gonna worry now about what's gonna be when I'm unconscious.
-Want some coffee or tea?
-How about something to eat?
-Are you sure?
-Absolutely.
-God! And why didn't you come tonight? We all had a terrific time. I really think you would have enjoyed yourself.
-I'm going through a period of my life where I just can't be around people. I didn't want to wind up abusing anyone.
-You're not going to abuse them. They're all so sweet.
-Isn't it enough that I can love you?
-Mmm...
-Hmm?
-Well, there was a time when you were very happy to be only with me. You wanted to learn everything about poetry, about music.
-Mm-hm.
-Mmm you never know. They might. He's just trying to do the nice thing.
-Because he likes you.
-Me?
-Elliot lusts after you.
-...or films you must see or...
-Big. Frederick, show him the oils.
-I don't sell my work by the yard!
-What's the problem?
-Lucy and I kept talking, and I didn't realize how late it had gotten.
-You know, you've been very nervous lately.
-I can't take this anymore.
-I'm just trying to complete an education I started on you five years ago.
-I'm not your pupil. I was, but I'm not.
-Like what?
-Oh, you know what. I'm suffocating!
-Oh! Are we going to have this conversation again?
-Yes, we're going to have this conversation again. I...I have to leave. I have to move out.
-Why?
-Because I have to!
-What are you going to use for money?!
-I don't know. I thought, maybe I'd move in with my parents for a while.
-Tch, oh. I always told you you would leave me. But...does it have to be now?
-Well, maybe it'll only be temporary, but I ha--I have to try.
-Oh...Lee, you are my whole world. Good God! Have you been kissed tonight?!
-No.
-Oh, yes, you have!
-No.
-You've been with someone!
-Oh, Christ! What's wrong with you?!
-I'm sorry.
-Oh, couldn't you say something? You have to slither around behind my back!
-I'm saying it now!
-So you met somebody else?
-But you, God, you knew that was going to happen sooner or later. I can't live like this!
-Who is it?
-What's the difference?! It's just somebody I met!
-But who? Where did you meet him?
-It doesn't make a difference! I have to move out!
-Oh, God, that's too much responsibility for me. It's not fair! I want a less complicated life, Frederick. I want a husband, maybe even a child before it's too late.
-Jesus...Jesus!
-Oh, God, I don't even know what I want.
-Oh...
-Mickey, Mickey, listen, listen.
-In-in-in-instead of the child molestation sketch, why don't we repeat the Cardinal Spellman Ronald Reagan homosexual dance number?
-Look at this guy.
-Oh, Jesus!
-N-n-no, not that.
-Hello?
-You don't have a brain tumor. He didn't say you had a brain tumor. MICKEY No, naturally they're not gonna tell you, because, well, you know, th--, sometimes the weaker ones will panic if you tell 'em.
-But not you.
-Mickey, come on, we got a show to do!
-I can't keep my mind on the show.
-But there's nothing wrong with you.
-If there's nothing wrong with me then why does he want me to come back for tests?!
-Well, he has to rule out certain things.
-Like what?! What?
-I don't know. Cancer, I--
-Don't say that! I don't want to hear that word! Don't mention that while I'm in the building.
-But you don't have any symptoms!
-Two months ago, you thought you had a malignant melanoma.
-Naturally, I, I--Do you know I--The sudden appearance of a black spot on my back!
-It was on your shirt!
-Eh, you were miserable this morning! We got bad reviews, terrible ratings, the sponsors are furious...
-Do you realize what a thread we're all hanging by?
-Mickey, you're off the hook. You should be celebrating.
-Can you understand how meaningless everything is? Everything! I'm talking about nnnn--our lives, the show...the whole world, it's meaningless.
-Yeah...but you're not dying!
-You're just realizing this now?
-Yeah. What?
-Can I tell you something? Can I tell you a secret?
-Yes, please.
-A week ago, I bought a rifle.
-No.
-I went into a store, I bought a rifle. I was gonna... You know, if they told me that I had a tumor, I was going to kill myself. The only thing that mighta stopped me, might've, is my parents would be devastated. I would, I woulda had to shoot them, also, first. And then, I have an aunt and uncle, I would have...
-Tch, well, you know, eventually it, it is going to happen to all of us.
-...you know it, it just takes the pleasure out of everything. I mean, you're gonna die, I'm gonna die, the audience is gonna die, the network's gonna-- The sponsor. Everything!
-I know, I know, and your hamster.
-Yes!
-Maybe you need a few weeks in Bermuda, or something. Or go to a whorehouse! No?
-Aah... Hey, have you tried Holly and her friend's shrimp puffs?
-I think they're fantastic.
-Oh, I don-- Ask Elliot for that. Uh, he's got them somewhere.
-Oh, great.
-You look so beautiful.
-Come on.
-Doesn't she look pretty?
-Oh, yeah?
-Hi. Where's Holly?
-Hi. She's auditioning for a television commercial. She said she's gonna be a little late.
-I hope you tell her it was your idea...
-Why?
-...'cause every time I try to be helpful, you know, sh-she gets so defensive.
-So how are you?
-Oh, me, I'm okay.
-Do you miss Frederick?
-No.
-I can't believe Elliot and I can't think of someone nice for you to go out with, you know--
-How are you?
-I'm okay.
-You know, how's everything? You doing okay? How's Frederick? I mean, Elliot.
-Oh, he's fine. He's-he's, I guess he's fine. I don't know. He's been kinda moody lately, the last few months.
-Really?
-Yeah. I-I don't know what's wrong with him. He's just...kind of distant and difficult.
-Oh...
-I've been trying to talk to him about it. He says everything's fine, but I don't know. Automatically, you know, I leap to the worst conclusions.
-I mean, I don't know, he's seeing someone else or something, but...
-What do--? You're being ridiculous.
-Oh, will you stop attacking Hannah?!
-Oh, now--
-What's the matter? What's the matter with you? You look pale. You okay?
-I'm-I'm okay. Yeah, I-I-I, you know, I...I'm just, um, I got dizzy all of a sudden. I'm-I'm...I have a headache.
-Yeah?
-Hey, Hannah, did you read that last thing Holly wrote? It was great. She's really developed.
-I know, she...she really writes good dialogue.
-Hi! Hi!
-I know...I know.
-Glad you could put in an appearance.
-I got two minutes.
-I gotta see new comedians later, I've gotta--
-Yeah, aren't you like, you know...
-Huh?
-How is everything?
-Everything's good. Everything's fine.
-Yeah? Yeah? Okay, kids, you can open the presents now.
-Let me get a little reaction here. How's Elliot?
-He's fine.
-Yeah?
-Oh, you know what? I'm trying to convince him to produce a play.
-Oh!
-I think he'll find that satisfying.
-Really? That'll be terrific for him, I think.
-I think so.
-I like him. I think he's a sweet guy.
-Yeah.
-Ohh!
-H-he's so awkward and he's clumsy like me...
-I know, I know.
-...so I, so I like that. I always like an underconfident person...
-That's really nice!
-...you know? I, uh...
-You've always had good taste in husbands, so...
-Thanks, thanks.
-Mh-hm.
-That's a beauty!
-Isn't that great?
-Oh!
-Go right over there.
-Come on! Hurry up! Let's go!
-Wow!
-Gee.
-This is the second opinion.
-I'm so humiliated. I don't know what to say. I mean--
-Could you have ruined yourself somehow?
-How could I ruin myself? What do you mean, ruin myself?
-I don't know. Excessive masturbation?
-Maybe, maybe we can adopt a child. He said you could adopt one--
-Well, what about artificial insemination?
-What are you talking about?
-You know, where I-I-I would get implanted from a-a donor.
-Yeah, they have these banks, you know, where they keep them frozen.
-Fro--? You want a-a defrosted kid? Is that your idea?
-I want to experience childbirth.
-With a, with a stranger? With a--
-Hannah and I...can't have any children. Now I-I-I don't want to get into whose fault it-- It's my fault that we can't and- and-and the details are too embarrassing to--
-Um, I-I didn't really want to, you know, go to a sperm bank or something, have some anonymous donor. I-I just, you know, I-I-I wouldn't want that.
-Hey!
-Here, Mom. Drink this. You know, you're awful. You probably were flirting.
-No! I like to joke around and have fun, and he gets angry because I get the attention. He's gotten sourer as he's gotten older, and I've tried to stay young...at heart.
-You promised to stay on the wagon.
-The sacrifices I've made because of that man. He's ruined me with his ego, his philandering, his-- his-his-his-his mediocrity!
-Okay, stop being so dramatic.
-He's the one that's made every ingenue in stock!
-Okay, okay.
-Th-th-they, they wanted me for a screen test.
-I just had a lot of luck...from my first show, you know? I've always thought Lee was the one destined for great things.
-Yes, she's lovely, but she doesn't have your spark. She knows it. She worships you. She wouldn't dare get up there on the stage.
-No, Holly's game for anything. Holly takes after me.
-True.
-What? You're kidding!
-Perfect!
-Get outta here. Could I speak to you privately?
-Hannah, I have to borrow some more money. Don't get upset.
-Mmm, I never get upset over that. Mmm?
-Holly, please. Don't insult me.
-Someday, I'll pay it all back.
-I know. H-how much do you need?
-Uh-huh.
-You admit that we're great cooks, right?
-Yeah.
-Well, in order to get started, there's just a few things I have to buy... and some old debts I have outstanding.
-Will you just tell me one thing?
-Okay.
-Are we talking about cocaine again?
-Ohh?
-Doesn't she look great in that new dress?
-Don't you think she does?
-Maybe when she's eighty, she'll stop straightening her garter belt when there's a guy around.
-Frederick didn't come with her.
-When does Frederick ever come with her?
-Watch out, you guys. Beep-beep!
-Oh, Hannah!
-It's, uh, you never know--
-He's such a loser!
-He's not a loser at all!
-Oh, he's such a loser!
-He's the headmaster of Daisy's school.
-Not this Thanksgiving, you know.
-Here. Be careful with those.
-Ouch!
-You know, I just want to look so good, but I don't want to seem, you know, like I'm overdressed. You know what I'm saying? HANNAH Oh, no, not at all.
-Well, how about this?
-Well, I, I really like that. I think that's a pretty color on you.
-He's married...
-Sometimes she's terrific...
-Oooo.
-...and then she just breaks down. And he has this sweet daughter...and when she goes to college next year, he's going to split permanently. I mean...
-Oh?
-You found all this, all this out on one date?
-I've got a singing audition for a Broadway musical. Of course, I'll never get it.
-Singing?
-Yeah, can you believe it?
-Really?
-Well, I mean, why not? You know, wh-what have I got to lose? Uh...
-Well, you think everybody in m- musicals sings so well?
-Ohh!
-You know.
-I know, no-- I know.
-I mean, y-you know, don't say it that way, you know, because my confidence is not my strong point, I--
-Uh, you know, I think I can fake my way through a song.
-Uh-huh.
-W-why? You don't think it's realistic?
-No, I didn't, I, that's no. No, I- I-I, no, I-I just... hate to see you put yourself in a position where, where you get hurt, you know. You know, you know how you take...
-...every, eh, single rejection as- as-as a...a confirmation that you have no talent, or something?
-Yeah. Well, maybe I'll get it.
-Boy, you really know how to cut me down.
-What? You don't, don't be so sensitive. Can't I say anything?
-Nobody but you can do that to me. I don't know why.
-Hey, hi!
-Awwww...
-Boy--
-They said I was too offbeat looking, whatever the hell that means.
-Oh, gosh.
-Oh, God...
-Well, that...th-that's fine.
-Well, that-that's good. It just, uh...it just seems to me that-that six months or a year, if-if you spent it more productively...
-Well, I don't know. We'd uh, uh, um... Didn't Mom mention there was something...something at the Museum of Broadcasting?
-Yeah, that's clerical.
-Boy, I knew you'd be discouraging.
-I'm not! I'm not! I'm trying to be helpful. A person doesn't just say one day, "Okay, now-now I'm finished as an actress. Now I'm a writer." I mean--
-You treat me like a loser.
-How?
-Not so! No. I think I've been very supportive. I've...I try to give you honest, constructive advice.
-Hmm!
-I'm-I'm always happy to help you financially. I think I've gone out of my way to-to introduce you to interesting single men. There's nothing I would--
-Uh, losers! All losers!
-You're too demanding.
-You're crazy! That's not true.
-What's the matter with you, Lee? Why are you so sensitive all of a sudden?
-Look. Listen. Listen. You want to write? Write.
-What's the matter?
-Write! Let's just not talk about it anymore.
-Good.
-Hey, what's the matter?
-My script?
-It's obviously based on Elliot and me.
-Oh, so loosely.
-No, not "Oh, so loosely"! Real specifically! Is that how you see us?
-Well--
-Wow, I guess I hit a nerve.
-You make it sound like, you know, I have no needs or something. You think I'm too self-sufficient?
-Now, Hannah, that's not what I meant, you know. Uh, yeah, everybody relies on you for so much. "You're so giving. It's not a criticism. We love you. We're grateful."
-You're grateful, but you resent me.
-Y-you mentioned to me yourself that you and Elliot were having some problems.
-Well, why don't you share them with us?
-I don't...I don't want to bother everyone.
-That's the point. I'd like to be bothered.
-I don't see how you could know about these things unless Elliot's been talking to you.
-Oh, why are you making those faces?
-I can't hear you. I can't hear anything. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna lose hearing in my ear! I'm--
-Listen, you are witnessing genius!
-I, I, my ears are experiencing a meltdown! I can't hear anything.
-Don't, no, please. Will you-- No, don't...
-Come on, Mickey. Come on.
-Can we, can we go?
-No!
-I love songs about extraterrestrial life, don't you?
-Not when they're sung by extraterrestrials.
-Oh, well, I cannot communicate with you! I, you know, I never realized you were such a tightass. MICKEY I can't understand you. Your sisters, both sisters have such good taste in music. I don't know where you went, went wrong.
-Do you mind? I'm-I'm my own person.
-Can I take you someplace to hear something nice?
-Eh, Mickey, it's getting late.
-Thanks for a swell time.
-Well, if you didn't like it, you didn't like it, but you didn't have to talk while the guy was singing.
-I was so bored!
-Yeah, that's tough! You don't deserve Cole Porter. You should stay with those groups that look like they're gonna stab their mother!
-At least I'm open to new concepts!
-And you don't have to snort cocaine at the table all the time! What do you, what do you do? Carry a kilo around in your purse?
-This crowd wouldn't know the difference! They're embalmed!
-Oh, look, I'm sorry it didn't work out.
-Yeah. Me, too.
-You know, it's probably my fault. I've been a little depressed lately.
-Right. Yeah. I had a...
-God!
-Mmm, I don't know if you remember me, but we had the worst night of my life together.
-I remember you.
-Yes, you do recall, right?
-I recall you.
-I was walking past and I saw you in here...
-Yeah.
-...and I thought I'd come in and...and we could replay, uh, the whole, uh...
-We didn't hit it off.
-Oh, that's putting it mildly. We did everything but exchange gunshots.
-How are you?
-Good. How are you?
-I'm fine.
-You look wonderful.
-Oh, no.
-Yeah, really. You do. You do.
-Yeah?
-It was a terrible evening.
-Yeah, it was.
-I'd never do that.
-...in a really horrible way.
-Oh, well, that was a long time ago.
-You look wonderful. You do. What happened to you?
-People change...you know.
-Well, I hope you've changed.
-Yeah, I hope you have, too. MICKEY I hope so for your sake, because, uh, your personality left something to be desired...
-Yeah, and for yours. I'm sure you've changed.
-So how are you?
-I'm okay.
-You didn't answer my question. What are you doing?
-Oh, nothing much. You know...
-Well...
-...just some stuff. A little of this, a little of that, that's all.
-Yeah? Is that an embarrassing question? Should I have not asked it?
-Probably not.
-Are you, are you out of work or something?
-No, well...I've been trying to write.
-Have you?
-Yeah.
-Well, that's interesting. Wh-what kind of stuff?
-Oh...well, you-you're not interested in this.
-No, you can tell me.
-Come on.
-No, I am. I am.
-Oh, no, millions of people come up to you and say, "Hey, I have something I just wrote," right?
-Nobody ever said it.
-Really?
-This is it. Yeah. This is really-- HOLLY Well, wo-would you be willing to-to read it? Something...that I wrote?
-Well, yes, I would if, uh, if it would mean anything to you. I don't know why it would.
-No, the reason I ask is--
-You've always hated my taste in the past.
-No, I haven't.
-You have.
-I haven't. No, the reason why I ask is I think it might make a great, uh, television script, and, you know, you're so active in television, so--
-I'm not anymore. I haven't, I haven't been in television for a year.
-You're kidding me.
-I may, I may have to get back into it, 'cause my accountant says that I'm running out of dollars. But...but, um, no, I haven't, I just sort of dropped out for a year...
-Oh. Oh.
-You're okay, though, huh?
-I'm-- Yes. Yes, I'm fine. I'm fine. How are you?
-Oh, I'm fine.
-What...what about your script? So what's it about?
-Well, I'd love it if you'd read it, actually, 'cause I really would value your opinion.
-But you have to remember while you're reading and you're cursing my name, you know, that this is my first script. Well, it's not my first script.
-Hmm.
-Actually, my first script was about Hannah and her husband, but, uh...
-Yeah.
-Oh, well, God, I can imagine what you wrote.
-Really?
-Well, you know, I-I-I...you know, if you want me to, I'll read it.
-Oh, gosh, I don't know. Well, could I come over tomorrow and read it to you?
-You must be joking. I've been doing all my own reading since I was forty...you know.
-Hmm. I think it's lucky I ran into you. Maybe.
-Well, what about me?
-Oh, well.
-No, you can tell me straight. It's okay. Just, you know, tell me what you think.
-It's great. I swea-- I'm-- I'm, tch, I'm speechless. I was...I was not in the mood to listen to this thing now. I don't know what to say. I'm moved and I laughed and I-- Uh, I, you know, I was on the edge of my seat. I just think it's wonderful! I'm, I'm totally...stunned. This is not an insult. I'm amazed that you
-Really?
-Yes! I was abso-- And...w- what...made you think of that climax scene where the, where the... architect is walking home with his actress girlfriend and-and the ex- wife who's schizophrenic jumps out of the bushes and stabs him to death?
-Oh, it just came to me one day.
-Well, it was just fabulous! I'm, I, you know...
-Oh, gosh, you really think I can write?
-I thought it was wonder-- There's maybe one or two things in there that I would do differently myself, but...
-Right.
-...but who cares? It was just-- It was fabulous.
-Oh!
-Oh, God!
-I am. You-you made my day.
-Oh, wow!
-It was just great. Uh, I was all set...I was set to be bored stiff.
-Uh, gee. Would you like to have lunch? Uh, uh...
-I-I would love to talk to you about, uh, that script. I-I, you know, I think maybe that we could do something with it.
-Okay, and listen, I would like to hear what made you suddenly decide to drop out of life.
-Oh, who cares?
-Gosh, you really went through a crisis, you know that? H-how did you get over it? I mean, when I ran into you, you seemed, you seemed just perfectly fine. Well, you seem fine now.
-Um...look, there's something I've, uh, that's been bothering me for a long time, and I just thought I'd just tell you what it was and just sort of clear the deck here, and that's this.
-Oh, yeah? What?
-That I've always regretted the way I behaved that evening we went out, and, uh...I've, I just thought I'd tell you that because I really made a fool out of myself.
-Oh, don't be silly! No! Don't be ridiculous.
-It's all right.
-So, so you want to go out to dinner again? I mean, is that, is that... Have, you have any interest in that, or...
-Sure. Sure, uh, yes.
-Do you? I mean, are you, are you, are you, are you free this evening?
-Now don't get nervous. It's just your husband.
-Hi.
-Hi. How you doin'?
-Okay.
-When'd you get here?
-Just a few minutes ago.
-Thanks.
-You know, I was talking with your father before...and I was telling him that it's ironic. I-I used to always have Thanksgiving with Hannah...and I never thought that I could love anybody else. And here it is, years later and I'm married to you and completely in love with you. The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is. I... It'd
-Tch.
-Mickey?
-Mmm, what?
-Oh, my God. Thank you.
-Yeah, Mom's Camille when she gets up in the morning.
-At least she isn't drinking. Did you notice?
-Yeah, she knows it, too, 'cause she's flirting with all the men here.
-Yeah.
-Get a garter belt... Get a garter belt and flirt.
-Dad...
-Oh...
-Hi.
-Thanks. But guess who was there auditioning?
-Yeah, well, she and an architect are now a very definite item, which I still cannot believe.
-Oh, please! We all came to have lunch, didn't we?
-Boy...Holly...Holly.
-Why are you so upset?
-What makes you interested in becoming a Hare Krishna?
-Well, I'm not saying that I want to join or anything, but...but I know you guys believe in reincarnation, you know, so it interests me.
-Yeah, well, what's your religion?
-Well, I was born Jewish, you know, but, uh, but last winter I tried to become a Catholic and...it didn't work for me. I-I studied and I tried and I gave it everything, but, you know, Catholicism for me was die now, pay later, you know. And I just couldn't get with it. And I, and I wanted to, you know. I--
-You're afraid of dying? MICKEY Well...yeah, naturally. Aren't you? I-- L-let me ask you, reincarnation, does that mean my soul would pass to another human being, or would I come back as a moose or an aardvark or something?
-Take our literature...
-Uh-huh.
-...read it over, and think about it.
-Well, okay. Thank you very much.
-Aren't you glad to see me?
-I can't think.
-...you don't have to think.
-We have to talk about <u>money</u>...
-I'm on the track of a reward, which...
-A reward...
-I'm going to tell you later....
-A reward for what?
-Some museum director disappeared.
-And?
-They're offering...
-...you haven't <u>found</u> him yet.
-<u>What</u> is this, a whorehouse, or are you my <u>wife</u>?
-You've gone off to America, on your <u>Vacation</u>...
-...I was <u>working</u>...
-...<u>please</u>...
-I <u>swear</u> to you...
-...and I want to talk to you about your <u>promotion</u>..
-Yes? My <u>promotion</u>...?
-You know why that is? Because there are so few things I need to forget. Would you agree, for the record, that I have not been read my rights?
-I have not read you your rights.
-Would you mind saying that into your bag...?
-I hereby acknowledge that...
-And now I have "dociled" you, have I not? By forcing your obedience.
-Then why did you chose to <u>inform</u> me of it...?
-To <u>show</u>... in my ability to <u>squander</u>. What one might deem an <u>advantage</u>... that my <u>strength</u> is greater than <u>yours</u>...
-Oh yeah? Wanna arm wrestle...?
-Well. Word gets around.
-...what <u>hindered</u> you...?
-It wasn't my day.
-Perhaps you did not have the <u>support</u> you required.
-It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
-Or, perhaps...
-...how are things at the Hospital?
-It's a growth business.
-What have they got you doing?
-Orderly.
-I would have figured you an R.N. by now, or, maybe Med School.
-I prefer to stay in the Less Frivolous professions.
-You lasted eight years, as Orderly, in Dr. Lechter's prison ward.
-Yes, I presumed it was about him.
-...you...
-I'm struck by your phraseology. I did not <u>last</u> with him. I was privileged to enjoy his company during that time.
-I'm looking for...
-He said, and these were his words, he <u>valued</u> our time together, because I was civil.
-Did you ever think, did you think, after he escaped, he would come after you?
-I asked you how you like your coffee...? We have black and bitter. As the Soul of Man. Or light and sweet, as the world- view of the self-delusive.
-We got a bunch of <u>materials</u>, coming up at auction. Materials which disappeared from Dr. Lechter's cell, drawings he made, his <u>books</u>.
-Yes?
-And I'd like your help, determining who's bidding for their purchase.
-Why me?
-Waal, because your <u>selling</u>'em... Two years ago, his annotated Dictionary of Cuisine, by Alexander Dumas, went for sixteen thousand dollars. Seller's affidavit of ownership, signed Cary Panz. P.A.N.Z. Sounds to me like an Orderly. Whadja clear on the book? Ten, twelve grand?
-...very good.
-Here's what they want you to do: we want the rest of the stuff you stole from his cell.
-...why?
-Let's just say they got a passion for collectibles...
-You said "here's what <u>they</u> want you to do..." Why?
-Now, whyn't you help us?
-That would adversely impact my income.
-Not as much as being jailed for theft of Government Property, or for failure to pay income tax, on undisclosed income.
-We could skip the Gavotte.
-Say it in English.
-Lechter's not buying up his Memorabilia. He keeps it all in his "mind," do you see...?
-Then who's buying it?
-There's one or two freaks, and, for a "<u>Pass</u>," I'll rat them out to you...
-<u>That's</u> the spirit...
-...aren't you afraid of me...?
-You want me to be?
-You said "here's what <u>they</u> want you to do." Aren't you part of them anymore...? Aren't you part of the FBI? 'No Girl's Allowed,' or <u>what</u>? Have you transgressed...?
-Let's keep it to business, shall we?
-...why have they stuck you on this silly little roust?
-...they did it for a lark.
-<u>Who</u> are these guys...?
-Rich, comic book freaks.
-And why is it a vacant exercise?
-Because we both know who's buying the Lechteriana.
-Who would that be.
-Mason Verger. For he cannot be free. Dr. Lechter refashioned his body so it mirrors his soul, what an impossible injustice. Can <u>you</u> be free....?
-No, you're wrong about Verger.
-Oh, yes. He's found Peace.
-Well, if he hasn't, I'm vastly mistaken.
-Bad beat today.
-Evelda Drumgo.
-C'mon, pal.
-You want to get married...?
-You tol me you wuunt ask me again til I'm ready....
-You're ready now.
-I'm not.
-Then you tell me, then.
-You want me to solve all your problems tonight...?
-I feel... I feel they're Out to <u>Get</u> Me...
-And who is "they?"
-...they're sending me. Out to get Shot. Hounding me.... they're...
-...the whole world's out to get you...
-How crazy is that.
-Well, you wanna shoot <u>back</u>, it give you a big <u>target</u>...
-Hard up as you are, at your age? Whadda <u>you</u> care? Surrender.
-How you doin?
-M'I gonna see you tonight?
-That's right.
-Then I'm doing fine.
-What's new onna street?
-Brigham. Go. Affirmative. Okay, Happiness is a Green Light. We've got Evelda in the kitchen, cooking. The dope's D.E.A. <u>We</u> want her on Interstate Transportation of some firecrackers. Starling: you've got Drumgo, you know her from before.
-I know her by the Back.
-What, What, I can't hear you...
-Are you <u>alright</u>...?
-I almost shot the <u>baby</u>...
-Who, can you think, who would want to harm Dr. Fanelli, did he have any <u>enemies</u>, that...
-...I have never met a man who was so well beloved.
-...he was <u>wealthy</u>...
-He had nothing. He lived in a garret. His work was his life, he...
-..who would benefit from his disappearance? <u>No</u> one. No one has but lost by it...
-How was America?
-Bad coffee, and women with excessive ankles.
-...nightmare.
-What's up...?
-Doctore Carlo Fanelli, curator of the Pallazo Capponi, 2 months missing.
-Yeah, so where is he?
-Somewhere where his family are offering a thirty grand reward for Information, so on.
-They got that kind of money?
-What else did I miss...?
-Atrocious Torture. Hit of the Season, you want, I know a guy can get you a ticket.
-...are they hard to get?
-Impossible.
-Hold up a minute...
-You spend the afternoon in Bed?
-First things first.
-You take this much time over everything?
-The identity of the person offering the bounty was never established.
-Can we identify it as Dr. Lechter?
-Not with any certainty we...
-Why did he come back?
-Our operatives in Brazil have been empowered to offer a reward of....
-...WHY DID HE COME BACK? WHY DID THE BOY TURN BACK...?
-...are you alright, sir...?
-HE TURNED BACK INTO THE ROOM. Where have we Seen it Before.
-Seen what, sir..?
-<u>Do</u> it...
-Where was the call from.
-Somewhere in Italy.
-Make plans for Lechter's abduction.
-...then we won't need to tether Miss Starling as our lure.
-...sir...?
-If you would see him monument, look around you.
-He escaped...
-What do you want me to do?
-...thank you... And how are you this evening, Doctor? No, we know that you're awake...
-..It won't be long now, sir...
-He don't like popcorn.
-No. And...
-I like Popcorn...
-...yes, if you'll, just step <u>away</u>...
-You give me whatever I want...?
-Yes. You know I will. That's right.
-Agent Starling, would you come with me...?
-The children...?
-...they're from Baltimore....
-I've never heard that he...
-It's not something he wants to publicize, Ma'am. It's just something he does.
-I won't take much of his time.
-What would <u>that</u> be?
-He... would consider it a favor if he could make a <u>donation</u>. To a charitable institution of your choice.
-Now, why in the world would he do that?
-I... think... he was.... he was <u>touched</u>, by your reaction. To his appearance.
-What reaction?
-Exactly.
-Please, I do not... I don't want to <u>trouble</u> him. But if you or he have any notlon, who would be buying Dr. Lechter's...
-Do you know the <u>seller</u>?
-We've subpoenaed the Auction House's records.
-Try Barney Clark.
-He is...?
-He was the orderly, during Dr. Lechter's stay in Prison.
-And how would you know that?
-Before "The Change," Mr. Verger was... he made quite a study.
-You should get the kids a <u>dog</u>...
-....I hardly <u>think</u> so... after "The Incident"...
-No, no, of course not.
-...Mr. Verger would be pleased to make a contribution, to the charitable...
-No, I think he proffers to spend his happy hours with his playmates.
-...young boys, still...?
-...here's to child abuse!
-Mmm...
-...and then, he'll be coming down.
-You said the <u>bad</u> news...
-Yes, I did.
-I believe that your tone implied that there was some <u>good</u> news.... and, do you know... there might be good news for <u>you</u>...
-Oh, yes, what? You'd <u>bribe</u> me, to, to, to, "release" you...?
-I can make you rich.
-And I expect you to. Let's talk like two medical men
-Come on, stay with us. Look here: I could get behind you, and give you a <u>spinal</u>, tomorrow, you wuunt feel <u>anything</u> down there, a l'il <u>pulling</u> is all. N'I'll tell you <u>what</u>, after he's got his jollies, ten, f'teen minutes, I'll come down here, give you a shotta <u>this</u> stop your heart, an that's <u>you</u> done, an there's an <u>end</u> to it. What
-..suitcase...locker...
-Come on, Doctor, <u>then</u> you can sleep...
-...unmarked hundreds....
-...fraid, that's about it, Doctor.
-Let the girl go.
-Why?
-For a consideration.
-Sir:
-Shut up, Starling...
-I could have acted on my own. I was told...
-Starling, I've ordered you to shut...
-I don't mind being the token <u>woman</u>, what I'm suggesting, send me out there with a token <u>man</u>... who are these Warriors, ¥our cobbled together Strike Force? I'm in the room with a fugitive felon...
-Starling...?
-Why would you say that? Because he sent me in there to be killed...? What <u>is</u> this...?
-...what's he got against you?
-Look at this:
-You seen John Brigham...?
-This just came in, over the transom. Fella, works for a Plastic Surgeon, Argentina. Look here:
-...what'm I looking at...?
-A fellow with five fingers.
-...standard issue...
-Not for our Doctor Lechter. This... Purports to be an x-ray of the hand of a ...white male...mmmm....mmmm...., after the removal of a vestigial sixth digit. Left Hand. It purports to be the x-ray of Dr. L...
-Am I on that case, sir...?
-No.
-Yes sir, I saw it.
-We have a memo here, from your friend Mr. Krendler at the Justice Department.
-I am all attention.
-I know you did what you could.
-I'm going to work for your reinstatement...
-Just a moment. Starling didn't...
-Well, well, well, well, well, she went <u>in</u> there, to apprehend a Dangerous Felon. Went in there with her gun, Came out, <u>without</u> the Felon, with<u>out</u> the gun...
-I had... one moment, I had an <u>agent</u> in there, waiting for <u>backup</u> from...
-I think that's... {HE STARTS TO RISE, AND THE MEETING BEGINS TO BREAK UP) Starling, I'm sure these gentlemen...
-She threw a punch at a man on the team.
-Well, you know, that happens, on the street.
-What is that supposed to mean...?
-I think its meaning is clear.
-What, you're saying she was overwrought.
-That could be.
-Because that's understandable, because. She blew the raid.
-She was there, alone, sir, she was in a burning building, waiting for your folks to come through the wall. And...
-Your girl's a menace. Here, givver <u>this</u>... Getter off the street and teach her some <u>humility</u>.
-I don't <u>think</u> so...
-S'hotter inside than it is <u>outside</u>...even with the air conditioning.
-You nervous...?
-Evone tells me: I shoulda been in, fi, six, months ago.... thizz my first checkup.
-....I didn't realize I said it out loud.
-Said what?
-I'm an orphan.
-Waal...
-It gets, um... it gets so lonely sometime.
-What'd you say, hon...?
-I said sometime it gets so...
-Waited too long, hon...?
-I said how's your baby...?
-You want to <u>hold</u> him...?
-Waal...
-Give it up, Evelda.
-Well, you know <u>my</u> name, honey, but <i>I</i> don't know <u>yours</u>...
-Give it up.
-Sadly, no. And I find that birth is one of the few things in life which study and a pleasant attitude can not amend. What do you think?
-My husband brought it to me from America.
-A wonderful country...
-You know it?
-I have had many excellent meals there.
-And yet, they are not know for their cuisine.
-...should love to correct your error.
-My mother told me to ignore the blandishments of charming men.
-How wonderful of you, to hold that information in your <u>busy</u> mind...
-...how so?
-...you told me you were studying for your examination by the <u>Studiolo</u>...
-And how good of <u>you</u> to remember it. Then, this trip, then, is not a return to <u>America</u>...
-No, this is <u>pleasure</u>...
-And what was the trip <u>before</u>...?
-Of course, Commendatore...
-Could you tell me: did you ever meet your predecessor, Dottore Fanelli...?
-I never met him. I knew him only from his writings.
-I know that the officers who first investigated his disappearance searched for a <u>note</u>, a farewell note, a suicide note...
-...yes.
-You have taken over his offices, is that not so?
-It is only temporary, until my confirmation by...
-Of course, <u>in</u> his offices, if you come across anything, any personal papers of his, anything, however trivial, would you contact me, please... Are his personal effects still at the Palazzo?
-Yes. Packed and with an inventory.
-If your duty requires it.
-You have a recent scar on the back of your hand.
-And you have a new wedding ring on yours? <u>La Vita Nuova</u>?--
-You looked oddly at me, back on the landing.
-Yes, it must be hard to be a policeman. Is it hard? Must one, then, be constantly suspicious?
-Why did you look at me that way?
-I saw a man, somewhat <u>fatigued</u>. Quickly dressed, a bit dishevelled. In the middle of the day. An old story. And then I saw the clothing was <u>fresh</u>--therefore: a man who dressed at <u>home</u>. And then I remarked the new <u>wedding</u> ring. And so: the <u>story</u> gave me pause. A lovely story. A new, and a beloved <u>wife</u>. I wish you joy.
-You assemble this, on the instant, from these few observations?
-I'm a historian. It is our task to assemble the seemingly unconnected into the obvious.
-...your <u>scar</u>..?
-My scar is a war-wound.
-How so?
-Yes. How did you know?
-You resemble a figure from the Della Robia Rondels, in your family's chapel at Santa Croce.
-It was Adresa de Pazzi, depicted as John the Baptist. You have seen the chapel?
-And? Then?
-I wonder no longer. You were out of the country.
-How could you know?
-I <u>sense</u>... The faintest <u>whiff</u> of a perfume, whose <u>base</u>, whose <u>base</u>, whose <u>base</u> is "Hamamelis" ... it is <u>witch-hazel</u>--such a clean scent. No, not a European scent. I would say it is a scent of the New World. I would say, you have been in America. Have I struck home?
-You know America?
-Darling, Dr. Fell. My wife Madame Pazzi.
-Dr. Fell is studying for his examination by the Studiolo.
-Darling...
-Well, if you will excuse me. Madame. What a pleasure.
-Who does not?
-If such there breathe, I'm sure you could <u>unearth</u> him... Your reputation does you honor.
-I've left my <u>program</u>...
-...long overdue.
-I'm not a scholar, Dottore. But it seemed as if they, as if they...
-Yes, I think I amused them. To what do I owe...?
-I require...
-I'd like to walk home with you, and...
-...Franklin.
-Where do you live?
-In and out. Yes. And Mama... and Mama, is not your real Mama, is she Franklin?
-She my foster.
-She's not the first foster that you've had. <u>Is</u> she?
-No.
-Do you like it at your home, Franklin?
-We got KittyKat...
-Yes.... yes...
-...and Shirly, let me sleep with her sometime.
-Yes. Franklin, you can't live there anymore. With Mama and Shirly and Kittykat. You have to go away.
-...who say...?
-Make them eat the figurine.
-They <u>will</u>, sir. We <u>train</u> them, to the figurine, <u>eventually</u>, they consume a man, say, 80 kilos, say, in...
-...they eat the dummy, sir, they eat the <u>man</u>... I keep them hungry. When... when do we think this man arrives.
-Is it necessary to know?
-Well, I don't want to starve them too long. They die.
-And you let her get away.
-You find something objectionable to working in partnership with....
-Sir, I'm in Law Enforcement, I was out there, dealing with an armed and dangerous...
-You were given backup....
-THEN WHERE WAS IT? I'm sent out there... I'm told that the <u>arrest</u> must be a joint...
-I'm saying: ... and what's wrong with that.
-And I'm telling you: You wanna throw a Birthday Party: Every kid gets a Chance to Play, that's <u>fine</u>, but...
-No, I don't get you...
-Due respect, you <u>don't</u>, sir, your precious Joint Operation. FBI, ATF, DC SWAT, it's alphabet <u>soup</u>, we don't have the same Radio Freqs, we don't...
-Oh, is this your political position, you're opposed to Joint...
-And, fine, alright, and fine... what are <u>you</u>doing, this whole time?
-...spend some time on the streets. Ask me then...
-I came to pay my...
-...get outta my way, you sonofa<u>bitch</u>...
-I realize, you're under a lot of....
-...may be the heat....
-Can you walk? Are your legs working...?
-<u>Perhaps</u>... shall we <u>see</u>...?
-I'm going to cut you loose. With all due respect, Doctor, if you fuck with me, I'll shoot you dead, do you understand...? Do right and you'll live through this.
-You look lovely.
-Thank you. No, I know you'd prefer "I'm glad you <u>find</u> me so..."
-I'd prefer you to say what you feel.
-What is that that smells so wonderful.
-I hope you'll <u>find</u> it so. Yes. It's <u>good</u> to see you regaining your strength...
-...I'm sorry....?
-...we were speaking of my <u>father</u>...
-Indeed we were.
-...and my need for The Institution...
-Freud, do you know...? Freud psychoanalyzed patients in One Afternoon.
-And how did he do that?
-He saw the truth, and <u>spoke</u> it...
-I'm afraid, this wine is making me woozy...
-Thank you, Cordell.
-...but will that satisfy you?
-Why should <u>you</u> care?
-It is not that I care for <u>you</u>--but that I posses an enquiring mind. What will you <u>do</u> when I am gone? When you have nothing to occupy your thoughts, save the memory of your own folly, and, more to the point, stupidity.
-ARE YOU <u>DONE</u>?
-<u>Yes</u>.
-You don't wish to <u>beg</u>...?
-Would that add to your <u>mirth</u>?
-The girl could use some help.
-You're <u>free</u>...
-...which of us is free...?
-Yes, to cease to Hope is the Greatest Crime. The Greatest crime. Perhaps the <u>only</u> crime. <u>I</u> never ceased to hope!
-The girl needs help.
-And what would be of Greater Help, than to release her, from the bonds of this sordid earthly existence. DON'T YOU THINK? IN WHICH THE INNOCENT ARE TORTURED IN WAYS WHICH WOULD MAKE THE ANGUISH OF THE DAMNED SEEM TAME AND UNIMAGINATIVE, DON'T YOU <u>THINK</u>? BLIND HIM AGAIN, AND PREPARE <u>HIM AND HER</u> FOR THE PIGS!
-...might I make a suggestion...?
-...when I...
-You want another drink, honey...?
-What's that, Baby?
-Alcohol. Where both its life-enhancing And its life destroying qualities... ...not unlike some Hindu <u>God</u>...
-I guess the only thing is Suck it Up...
-Our Mister <u>Frendler</u> to, to, to humiliate me, though....
-What else's he goin to do with his day, he can't work, and he won't steal...
-Look what they put her on...
-You should get Married.
-That's what I should do. Tell me why?
-Because, baby, you're looking to find love in an institution, that's your only chance....
-Yeah, well, they solved that: turns out, he'uz a <u>cannibal</u>...
-Show'm the FBI <u>Hand</u>shake...
-Yeah, well, it's a raw wound, innit, you're gonna bump it, every time you turn around... but you know what the <u>trick</u> is...?
-Because you're going to help me plan a party.
-You're going to <u>do</u> that?
-I'm going to do it, and you're going to catch the bouquet.
-The Multi-Jurisdiction Task Force: read alphabet soup, for the continued pursuit, and in preparation for the apprehension of the fugitive, Evelda Drumgo. The man's hazing you.
-My daddy would say: accept with glee the things you cannot change.
-I'll tell you what: I should go in there, volunteer to fill up his Female Quota.
-Mr. Crawford asked my opinion. Here we've got a purported x-ray, Dr. Lechter's surgery. Do we keep it secret, or broadcast it?
-Saying what, "Look out for a guy with ten fingers...?"
-Yeah, that's too Hip for the Room.
-You stay offa this Alphabet Soup Detail, all this half-baked, cowboy stuff, till after you get your <u>mind</u> cleared.... you don't wanna go out there a half-step <u>slow</u>...
-I don't wanna go out there at <u>all</u>...
-What do you want to do? You want to jam up that sonofabitch Krendler.
-No. I want to buy a dog.
-What broke <u>you</u> free, Girl?
-What was it. What was it, honey?
-...something about my <u>father</u>...?
-...what?
-...what...?
-No.
-Every suicide kills two.
-Yeah. Well. They're a talkative buncha commentators.
-You got a lot of people love you, Starling.
-Trouble is, they all seem to <u>die</u>.
-Y'want to gimme Brigham's pistol?
-What would you guess, Ardelia?
-You goin to shoot yourself?
-Don't shoot yourself.
-Why?
-Give me your gun...
-...the purpose of the exercise... is it because they are <u>expensive</u>...
-They aren't expensive, you got them through your connections.... speaking of which:
-Fine, thank you, but
-Speaking of which, I want you also to get us tickets for the Opera...
-...whatever is within my <u>power</u>...
-...and that is what you need to expand.
-I don't understand.
-We are here on sufferance. I am here...
-...why are we here in the <u>first</u> place...?
-...my love...
-...they asked us to dinner. How can we accept if we cannot <u>return</u> the...
-I am on the track of...
-Yes, yes, yes, your thirty thousand dollars reward, which you would have to split with your team, which, <u>if</u> you get it, will not buy me a new <u>watch</u>...
-No. Invite us? No, he simply...
-Then we cannot go.
-Because...?
-"Because we don't have any money."
-....because we don't have any mmm...
-The Case that I am <u>working</u> on...
-Ask me when we get home.
-...and then, we're going to <u>Greece</u>...
-Yes, but the <u>important</u> thing, as I've said...
-Hello....?
-...what did you want?
-I know where he is.
-I'm sure I don't know who you mean.
-I know where he is.
-And why should we believe you?
-I know something no one knows. He has had his finger removed. On his left hand. It left a scar.
-What shape is the scar?
-I want the money.
-What shape is the scar?
-An Honor. Carlo Pazzi....
-No, y'know, I never <u>doubted</u> it...
-You were kind enough, today, to take my photograph.
-...<u>sadly</u>...
-Hey, lost again.
-But perhaps, there is some, some less radical solution.
-I'm sure there is, but my young Friend here, would <u>kill</u> you.
-His feelings do him honor. And I have come, simply, to pay my <u>respects</u> to the great Clarice Starling...
-The great and <u>beautiful</u>...
-Is it necessary to say of the sea that it is salt, that the stars are far, that...
-No,I get it, this is my <u>Cavalier</u>. This gents my Italian Knight. Take <u>this</u>... For this shall be my gage, and you can take it into battle.
-Thank you.
-Or clear your windshield with it.
-...what a lovely perfume.
-...this one is my favorite. It has not title. They should call it "fetch," whaddaya think...?
-I know it well.
-<u>Do</u> you. What does that mean?
-Yeah, I'm sure it's famed for lotsa things, and you're one'a'them...
-...but: this particular statue...
-Waal, you hold fast to that thought, as I'm sure, that's a "clue"...
-....this is perhaps an inappropriate <u>time</u>... but, I would like to say, it is an honor to meet the Woman who <u>solved</u> the celebrated Hannibal Lechter...
-I din't solve it, I didn't '<u>solve it</u>'. I just sat a <u>dance</u> out with him. Facts, facts, facts. <u>Facts</u>, close the case, cavalier.
-What're they on about?
-They're grilling the applicant for the Vacant Post.
-Speaking of the Vacant Post.
-...a Dr. Fell. A Brazilian, I think. Applying for Fanelli's post.
-Brazilian.
-...a <u>liaison</u> position...
-And what does <u>that</u> mean?
-...I feel that...
-She must be something special After Dark.
-I can't remember. I've got to make some money.
-Thirty thousand dollars reward. In the whereabouts of Il Dottore Fanelli, or the apprehension of his...
-Tell me why...?
-I'm sorry, I don't mean to be impolite. Because, you know, you can't understand.
-Then tell me.
-Well, you know, you know, you know, the <u>point</u> is: I <u>can't</u> tell you. Cause you haven't <u>been</u> there. You haven't <u>done it</u>. And that's all there <u>is</u>.
-...and to have <u>done</u> it, means, can mean to accept, not only <u>danger</u>, but <u>betrayal</u>...?
-....that's right.
-..and <u>humiliation</u>? What is this new job they've...?
-No. That's right. That's all part of it.
-Then, that being so, why is today special? Why have you come back to see me? Is it that new file they gave you?
-I don't <u>think</u> so.
-Then what brings you back?
-I don't know. Do <u>you</u> know...?
-Yes. I think I <u>do</u>. I think it is a phrase you used with that woman. You told her you were an <u>orphan</u>. You <u>used</u>, to your mind, your most private fears.
-...no...
-...you called up memories of your <u>father</u> to...
-...no...
-...<u>barter</u> with her. To appeal to her, and you feel that...
-No, I don't <u>think</u> so...
-It is <u>you</u> who have betrayed...
-...no.
-Your father. It is not <u>they</u>, who...
-Yes.
-What does <u>that</u> mean?
-I saw a man today, a man so hideously deformed who'll spend his life in a hospital bbb...
-Yes, so you said. But what does that mean: to go beyond The Institution.
-If <u>he</u> could overcome... his need for... for self-<u>ratification</u>...
-...would you use a small word?
-For approval.
-What's wrong with approval? You admired that man.
-Yes.
-How do you think that made him feel? What does that <u>mean</u>, "to go beyond the institution...?"
-I told that woman I'm an orphan.
-...you <u>are</u> an orphan.
-But... but....but.... you're <u>right</u>. I used it. To <u>bargain</u>. For her <u>sympathy</u>... I <u>used</u> it--to "whore myself out"--
-Yes, but no one is in control of their emotions. that's all we have time for today...
-I don't understand.
-You said: that you have "decided." That your... your feelings of persecution, as you put it are a "self- indulgence," and you are going to put them aside. And get on with your job.
-That's right.
-And you have decided to accept... to accept this "emotion," as you put it, to the ... the "sweepings. of the Lechter case.
-Yes.
-And you've decided to get <u>married</u>. You've decided a <u>lot</u> of things. But, in spite of your decisions--you are still "nagged" by feelings of: <u>despair</u>, of <u>failure</u> of... you still have the <u>nightmare</u>, you...
-What is your point?
-That if <u>decision</u> were a useful tool, you wouldn't <u>be</u> here. Why are you here...?
-I..
-...yes...?
-I want to do something <u>positive</u>...
-You want some <u>advice</u>.
-Yes.
-Your life has been defined by institutions. The Orphanage where you were raised, the FBI Academy, the Bureau. If the Institution is your life, <u>accept</u> it. Ask to be reinstated on the "Drumgo" task force. Play their game.
-...why?
-He was <u>shot</u>...he was shot. On his rounds. And... and...
-And all he <u>left</u> us: the Country brought back his <u>hat</u>, and his <u>badge</u>... both with a bullethole in them. An' that's what he left us. That's what I said.
-And you have been <u>dreaming</u>... dreaming about this Hat, and...
-And. I always said, he was a <u>P'lice</u> officer.
-...yes...?
-But. He was a night <u>watchman</u>. That's what he was. N'They brought back, his hat, his <u>badge</u>, an his <u>timeclock</u>. N'then they took me off. I <u>saw</u>... I saw. Clear as day, do you, do they call it a <u>delusion</u>? His hat an his badge. Clear as day, bulletholes and all.
-When?
-For the <u>worst</u> hurt, of course, that which will not heal, is the conviction no one cares.
-Ah, yes, ah yes. Our Doctor Lechter... And have they sent you, once again to <u>capture</u> him? How terrible for you...
-No, sir, it's not my job to capt... why do you say how terrible?
-Sir, various drawings, done by Dr. Lechter, while in prison, stolen from the prison after his escape, have surfaced and are being sold at auction. Several large reserve bids have been placed on them. I have to ask if you've placed those bids.
-Because?
-Because if it was not you, then, perhaps it was Dr. Lechter, trying to reclaim his own property.
-And why would you suspect me, of this ghoulishness?
-Because, sir, you are the only one of his victims who lived. And because you have large resources.
-My encounter.
-...sir...?
-Yes, then, you're saying that you <u>haven't</u> bid upon these drawings.
-Believe me, I wish I knew less. Oh, if you weren't such a pig...
-Sadist! I can't believe I thought you could change--This is your idea of discipline? You're a monster. That kid is going to be traumatized for...
-No really, keep talking, I ree-ally want to hear what you have to say, you're just so eloquent...
-Why are you...don't stop...why?
-It's funny, when I first met you I thought you were such a weirdo...I still think you're a nut, but you're my nut.
-Yeah...Are we going to do it or what? I still haven't packed.
-Why are you being so grouchy--This is an important night for us...
-Adam. Dollface. We had a physical relationship that served a purpose and now...
-But, but that was before we started sharing stuff. Before I told you how I cried when Peepers died. I never told anyone that before.
-And this Peepers was your...dog? If it makes you feel better, I probably wasn't paying attention.
-That doesn't make me feel better! Why are you being like this?
-Don't raise your voice at--I gave you the ultimate male fantasy--sex, nothing on the side. Don't pretend we shared anything other than fluids.
-You think you're so...but you're just...
-I'm gay. Like you didn't know.
-Andrew. You're not gay; you're ten. You shouldn't even be having thoughts like...
-You mean you didn't have any gay thoughts when you were my age...
-Well, uh...Promise me you won't do anything until you're 18.
-I'll bet you're glad I waited until the last day to have this conversation.
-Okay, okay, just don't everyone talk at once...First of all, little Jason has a learning disability...
-Now what? What did I do this time?
-Summer would have been a lot less without you. You're a true friend, Donald.
-Was there a night that I got really drunk and declared that I never loved anyone as much as I loved you?
-No.
-Pamela Anderson, Kate Moss, Halle Berry, and Fiona Apple, all naked in one room. You can do anything you want to them, except one of them has full-blown Aids, and you don't know who. And you're not allowed to use a condom.
-Call me conservative, but I'd rub my penis on the faces of all the ladies before bestowing the final honors to the divine Ms. Berry's lovely visage.
-Yowza--Only a virgin could answer that fast.
-Do you realize if the women of America would have just heard what you said...
-Make it seem you have this comfortable, mysterious life and you don't give a shit whether she's a part of it. Oh, and bring up India, Talia has this obsession... Whoa, Donald, play hard to get, not hard to want...Let Talia know that your goofy act is just something you do for the kids....
-Howdy Pouty.
-I was pretty confident that I was going to blow it with Talia, but I must say, I outdid myself.
-She's still pissed at me and took it out on you. We should have taken it slower. It's hard to operate in the woods. Much easier in, like a club. Tell the girl you've got to go do something, leave her view, take way too long until she is worried that you're not coming back. Just as she starts feeling awful, you come up
-I'm in the picture on Wendy's wall. Niagara Falls. Family trip. Little Wendy foreground. Me background. What are the odds on that one?
-Uh, yeah, that's...wow.
-I couldn't tell her...it's, it's too major...Jesus, I'm starting to believe in God and what's worse I think I like the guy. The lightning bolt was just a test, right? Wendy and I--we're meant to be. I'm right, right? I have to see her...
-Eavesdropping, eh? Hear anything good?
-That really sucked, Eric, what you did, asking him that...
-Oh thanks, it was nothing...
-You know, I think I left something by the lake. Could you check it out-- You'll know it when you see it...
-There you are! Man, I don't know how to thank...
-Eric...You can't be like me. You have to be better. I'm not the guy you think I am...
-Man, she's losing it...
-Talia, don't go!
-Wha-at? What is it?
-Whew, that wasn't a period. That was an exclamation mark. You know, Hayley, behind every great woman is a great first menstruation anecdote.
-I hope so...
-Freeze! You're busted!
-What are you gonna do about it?
-Thanks, Talia...Why are you so nice to me?
-Mine!
-Go stand by the flagpole.
-Sorry about all that...I'm your CIT-- Jasper.
-You are to be executed at Dawn anyway. Might as well commit the crime. Go to her, Wichita...
-No, they're not from Wendy.
-Your Secret admirer?
-I guess it was too much to ask that it would somebody older...and maler. Like you.
-Hey, I thought I wasn't your type.
-Wichita--you're everybody's type. But seriously, don't worry about it. I get my occasional crushes.
-Hey, it's not a crush anymore if ] you actually say it to the person ] you supposedly have the... ] ] JASPER ] Thought I'd get points for a post- ] modern approach to coming on to you. ]
-Goodnight, Jasper.
-You're a little harsh on Todd. You're a little harsh on everybody. I know ] you like to think of yourself as ] the Anti-Oberon, but man, you're ] getting just as spooky. What was ] that speech in there? Does Camp really ] have to be a revolutionary act? Can't ] the children, at their own pace, ] discover... ] ] WICHITA ]
-Stop, stop...I'm willing to put my mouth where my mouth is...I throw one overhand pass and Todd catches it-- dramatic pause--You let me go down on you...
-Hello?! What's in it for me?
-Are we allowed to start hating "Wendy" yet..."Gee Wichita, I guess mosquitoes have always liked me."
-You and Wichita go to school together, right? Have you two ever...
-That would be a No.
-I don't know what I'm doing. I know he only likes me as a friend. He's just so...everything--I know he only likes me as a--but it came up that he used to be a camp counselor and I used to be a camp counselor...
-Am-ber! Uh...don't do that.
-"or you're going to get it?" Wow, first week of camp. Promise me you won't try moving so fast with Wichita.
-Don't forget, when you get home, O.B.'s. They're created by a female gynecologist.
-Yeah, an insane female gynecologist! Hayley, don't listen to her.
-Wendy, don't be afraid to get a little stupid and contagious. The kids don't understand that this is our summer, too. We shouldn't have to put our lives on hold to be their butlers.
-What are you doing?
-You know you just do this for shock value. It's not shocking.
-When did pretending to be bored become a sign of superiority? Are you mad at me for giving the cabin new haircuts or are you just still miserably pining for Wichita's lightning rod?
-Geez, what time is it? I have to go feed Big Chief Oberon...You're right, I miss him. Wichita, that is. I really want to be with him, but I can't bring myself to--Are you a lesbian or are you...
-I didn't realize I had to declare a major.
-You remind me of me when I was...I guess I was never like you. So cute. So questioning.
-I'm not a nai-ive little...
-You'll be hiding behind a tree.
-The oak where Jocelyn sprained her ankle.
-I'm sorry. It just...It seems silly. Like kissing a girl.
-...sorry...
-One day they'll find a cure for AIDS. They'll never find one for sex. It's kind of funny, most movies and stories with a bunch of camp counselors has some serial psycho in the woods with a chainsaw who systematically butchers everybody one by one.
-Yeah. And?
-You look a like you could use a friend. You know, I'll never forget my first day at camp. Boy, I was so nervous that I...
-Well, the first week of camp has swhooshed on by and I thought this a perfect time to finally pow-wow. I think we should discuss--
-Who wants to go tell the Anti-christ to take a "time-out?"
-Talia, just because you happen to be Jewish, doesn't mean you can make fun of someone desecrating the Lord's body...
-Man asswipe, you made my enormous cock fall off...
-College was entertaining, Wichita, but after 40 days and 40 nights of this, I really think we're going to get to know each...
-...and it hurts too much to keep these feelings inside me any longer...
-Talia, you know how important our friendship is to me and I would never do anything to...
-"...how important our friendship..." Not that old--Oh God, what have I done?
-Talia, you're a wonderful person...
-Stop, stop, what was I thinking...out in the wilderness. Under the stars. I've ruined every--
-I just never thought of you in that...
-I have to get up. Still more to do. That boy hates Asian people. That girl thinks she gave her Mom cancer by dropping a plate on her hand. Her daddy touches her. His daddy never touches him. It would have been cooler if I'd died.
-Isn't this the time where one of us says something deeply offensive to the other one...We're just so different.
-So what? ]
-Yes! God yes! I would tell her that I love her! To not let anyone take away her dreams..!
-You should grab her and shake her ] and tell her it's a goddamn war out ] there. Idiots and assholes and ] sadists that must be defeated. Tell ] them her the truth! ] ] WENDY ] The truth is a lie! Yes, television ] is rotting our brains! Yes, people ] kill people easier than ever! Does ] that mean we give
-Nobody really changes at summer camp. They merely find out who they are and become it more than ever. You can't be helped, Wichita. I'm not sure you can be punished, either. But let's find out...
-What in the hell did you do that for?
-I-unno...Don't worry, I had everything on the hand memorized.
-Hey.
-Oh you know, Bosnia, the importance of the right to vote...
-Yeah, we talked about sex, too. Oberon must be sweating in his sleep.
-We had fun. I even got along with Talia-- for about three minutes. I don't know why she hates me so much...
-Yes you do.
-Yeah. I guess I do.
-Ann Taylor would have paid a lot more, but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. Sometimes the first time you understand anything is when you have to explain it to someone younger-- You think I'm a big dork don't you?
-I think your passion is terrific.
-We have more in common than you think, Wendy dear. I loved summer camp when I was young and I love it now. It's important. Between school, family, friends, pot, playstations, basic cable, and the goddamn Internet, it's possible to go your whole life without listening to your soul. Out here, in nature, away from the shit, surrounded by reminders of who I once
-Gosh, this is really a great conversation--I can't believe I said that out loud.
-Do you really not believe in God?
-What else don't you believe in?
-So this is it, anybody you don't agree about everything with can't be your friend...
-Iunno.
-"Iunno." I'm really beginning to hate that word of yours. I'm sorry for sounding hostile, but I'm not sorry for...
-When were you in Niagara Falls?
-Todd was out there blocking the ] entrance. You would have been proud ] of me...My suit of armor is starting to come off. Not all of it, but enough to walk around...
-And you'll be happy to know I'm going to drop my Snow White and the Seventy Dwarves act...Not all of it, but...
-I was thinking...if we could mesh my way of thinking with your way ] of thinking, we could really do some ] great counseling. It's all about ] the evolution of the species, we ] can improve... ]
-I love you. Don't say I love you, too. I hate that--"love you, too."
-I know what you mean. But it doesn't put me in too great a position...
-Fuck off.
-I should leave. You probably need your rest.
-Are you allowed to do it more than once a night?
-Excuse me, Counselor Wendy, I need assistance in finding that important...thingie in the storage room.
-Do you really think we're fooling anyone?
-She got a little poison oak and started screaming for assisted suicide.
-Excuse me, Wichita, I can't seem to reach the top shelf in the storage room. Could you...
-Not now, Wendy.
-Ah, our last night at camp...I always knew it would be something special.
-What do you want me to say?
-Something more interesting than that...How could you? How could--!
-Stop! Stop it, this afternoon was not what you thought...I overheard you and Pixel, at the side of the mess hall, your idea about the "test"...Do you believe me?
-Iunno. Of course I believe you. It's so you...I didn't think it was possible ] for you to make me feel worse, ] but...you're saying you <u>deliberately</u> ] destroyed us! I don't even get I'm- ] sorry-it-was-the-heat-of-the- ] moment... ] ] WICHITA ] I know, I'm...I'm evil. ] ] WENDY ] Oh that's right, baby, you're so ] "evil." You're, you're so "dark"... ]
-Next to "boring," "Sucks" is the most painfully overused word in the current English language. I thought if I could reverse the meaning of "sucks" so it means something positive, I don't know...It would be vaguely revolutionary. It's kind of my social experiment for the summer. "Suck" is historically a nice word-- sno-cones, your mother's...
-God, you're beautiful.
-I'm still on anti-biotics, I really ] shouldn't be caffeining...Gosh, I've had a lot of daydreams about losing my virginity. Never one like this. For one, I wasn't a mutant. Secondly, I...What are you thinking?
-Have you ever thought of instead ] of making children more equipped ] for reality, we should make reality ] more equipped for children? ]
-Two billion years of evolution and ] you're what we've come up with-- ] "Wichita"--the hot, cool, tell-it- ] like-it-is counselor with a dark ] side. ]
-What are you doing, Wendy? What's in that cup?
-Sorry Veronica.
-I'm really sorry I couldn't make it to your birthday party last month.
-Don't say that.
-I don't believe it. I'm winning.
-I missed you. I know I'm not as, as exciting as your other friends.
-Ronnie, I'm still a virgin.
-Betty, your daydreams are a lot better than my realities, believe me. I'm afraid though it's time to get your butt kicked.
-Hey, you're not settling for the two shots are you? Knock me out girl. It's the only way.
-It's not my style, okay?
-So, are you a cheerleader?
-No, not at all. BRAD You're pretty enough to be one.
-Gee, thanks.
-Ever since Phil Collins did that MTV anti-drug commercial I refuse everything.
-Phil Collins? Are you sure he isn't drinking and driving?
-Jeez, right, then why don't I do drugs?
-How's my little cheerleader? Now I know everyone at your high school isn't so uptight, come <u>on</u>.
-Hey really, I don't feel so great.
-I have a little prepared speech I give when my suitor wants more than I'd like to give him.... Gee Blank, I had a nice....
-Save the speeches for Malcom X. I just wanna get laid.
-If I got that money, I'd give it all to the poor. Every cent.
-Oh, I have to hear this.
-In my heart, Heather's still alive.
-I don't know. This thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
-I'm sorry? I don't get it.
-Take a break Veronica, sit down.
-So what was the first week of Spring Vacation withdrawl like?
-Goddamn. Will somebody please tell me why I read this spy crap.
-Because you're an idiot.
-All right.
-So what was the first day after Heather's suicide like?
-Goddamn. Will somebody please tell me why I smoke these damn things?
-Because you're an idiot.
-Hey Veronica, how'd that Teenage Prevention T.V. Suicide thing go?
-Let me get it clear, Veronica. You want yourself a sweet homeboy for this T.V. show so you can show everybody what a loose, Martin Luther Cosby-lovng place Westerburg is.
-Something like that. Will you do it?
-Damn, you're a shrewd one. Shrewd.
-I just want to show different kinds of people can get together and it doesn't have to be Vietnam. You don't get treated badly here do you?
-Things are going to change, Earl.
-Veronica. Finally. Got a paper of Kurt Kelly's. I need you to forge a hot and horny but realistically low-key note in Kurt's handwriting and we'll slip it into Martha Dumptruck's lunch tray.
-Shit, Heather. I don't have anything against Martha Dunnstock.
-You don't have anything <u>for</u> her either. Come on, it'll be Very. The note'll give her shower nozzle masturbation material for weeks.
-I'll think about it.
-Sawyer. Guess what today is?
-Hey, this question wouldn't be that bizarro thing you were babbling about over the phone last......
-I was talking with someone!
-If you're going to openly be a bitch....
-I'm sorry, it's just why can't we talk to different kinds of people?
-Doesn't it bother you that everyone in the school thinks you're a pirahna?
-Like I give a shit. They all want me, as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshipped at Westerburg and I'm only a Junior.
-Pretend you're a missionary saving a colony of cootie victims.
-Just imagine somebody like your quasi-fat, goody-good friend Betty Finn doing a Crest commercial. No one would buy Crest.
-Don't tell me. Crest would be stained with loserness.
-You wanted to become a member of the most powerful clique in the school. If I wasn't already the head of it, I'd want the same thing.
-I'm sorry? What are you oozing about?
-That episode with the note back there was for all of us to enjoy, but you're determined to ruin my day.
-We made a girl want to consider suicide. What a scream. What a jest.
-Come on Heather. We want another look at today's lunch.
-J.D.? You seem pretty amused. I thought you were giving up on high school guys.
-Crap. So who's this Brad guy I've been set up with? Witty and urbane pre-lawyer or albino accountant?
-What's your damage? Brad says you're being a real cooze.
-Heather, I feel awful, like I'm going to throw up. Can we jam, please?
-You stupid cunt!
-You were nothing before you met me! You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn! You were a Brownie, you were a Bluebird, you were a Girl Scout Cookie! I got you into a Remington Party! What's my thanks? It's on the hallway carpet. I get paid in puke!
-Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.
-Veronica. And Jesse James. Quelle surprise. Hear about Veronica's affection for regurgitation?
-We both said a lot of things we didn't mean, last night.
-Is this turnout weak or what? I had <u>at least</u> seventy more people at my funeral.
-Heather? Wha...
-Oh God Veronica, my afterlife is s-o-o boring. If I have to sing "Kumbaya" one more time...
-What are you doing here?!
-Ku-urt, let's pa-arty.
-Grow up, Heather. Bulimia's so '86.
-God, they won't expell him. They'll just suspend him for a week or something.
-Anyway, I can say never to high school. I've got David.
-King David.
-So tonight's the night. Are you two excited?
-Where did you get these?
-Oh, I just had the <u>nicest</u> chat with Ms. Dumptruck. Got along famously! It's scary how everyone's got a story to tell....Would you care to see the canoeing shots?
-What do you want from me?
-Strength. Westerburg doesn't need mushy togetherness, it needs a leader. Heather Chandler was that leader but...
-I think you can. In Catcher in the Rye Holden says his ideal job'd be making sure some kids don't fall off a cliff. He doesn't realize if you pay too much attention to the kids, you'll back off the cliff yourself.
-Very very. The photographs?
-TEENAGE SUICIDE; DON'T DO IT!
-Yeah, she really wants to talk to you.
-Maybe you should see a doctor.
-Yeah, you know Holden Caulfield in the Catcher in the Rye wouldn't put up with their bogus nonsense.
-Don't worry. We'll work something out.
-Guess who?
-Hi everyone, door was open. Veronica, you missed it! Pauline and Whitney James were up there doing there suicide rap when the cops come in and announce that Martha Dumptruck tried to buy the farm. She gave the ticket girl at the Colfax theatre a suicide note then bellyflopped in front of a car.
-Is she dead?
-I said I was sorry.
-You are out of control. Heather and Kurt were a shock, but Martha Dumptruck, get crucial! She dialed suicide hotlines in her diapers.
-What. A. Martyr. Understand; Martha couldn't take the heat so she got out of the kitchen. Just think what a better place the world would be if every nimrod followed her cue.
-Just shut up and turn on the radio. Hot Probs is on.
-Veronica! Color me stoked, girl. I've gotten <u>everyone</u> to sign this petition even the one who think BigFun are tuneless Eurofags. People love me! My God, you haven't signed!
-People love you but I know you. Jennifer Forbes told me the petition she signed was to put a jacuzzi in the cafeteria. And Doug Hylton...
-So some people need different kinds of "convincing" than others.... Hey, just sign the petition!
-Don't talk to me like that.
-It was J.D.'s idea! He made out the signature sheet and everything. Now will you sign it?
-No.
-Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why are you such a MegaBitch?
-Veronica, you look like hell.
-What are you doing?
-What's your damage, Heather? You ruined my...
-God, aren't they fed yet? Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa?
-God Veronica, drool much? His name's Jason Dean. He's in my American History.
-No way, no day!
-Watch it, Heather. You could actually be digesting food.
-That was seriously warped, Veronica.
-Veronica. What are you doing tonight?
-Mourning. Maybe watch some T.V. Why?
-Ram asked me out, but he wants to double with Kurt and Kurt doesn't have a date.
-Hea<u>ther</u>, I've got something going with J.D.
-Shit.
-What were <u>you</u> trying to do? Sleep?
-You're giving your life away to become a goddamn statistic in U.S. Fucking A Today. That's got to be the least private thing I can think of.
-But what about Heather and Ram and Kurt?
-Probably....
-Hey now, if you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host.
-Let's knock off early. Go to the mall. Something lame like that.
-There are no stupid questions.
-If you inherit five million dollars the same day aliens tell the earth they're blowing us up in two days, what would you do?
-Probably just row on out to the middle of a lake. Bring along my sax, some tequila, and some Bach.
-You going to pull a Big Gulp with that?
-No, but if you're nice I'll let you buy me a Slurpee. You know your 7-11speak pretty well.
-I've been moved around all my life; Dallas, Baton Rouge, Vegas, Sherwood Ohio, there's always a 7-11. Any town, any time, I can pop a Ham and Cheese in the microwave and feast on a Big Wheel. Keeps me sane.
-Really? That thing in the caf today was pretty severe.
-The extreme always makes an impression, but you're right, it was severe. Did you say a Cherry or Coke Slurpee?
-Just a humble perk from my Dad's Construction company or should I say Deconstruction company?
-I don't know. Should you?
-My father seems to enjoy tearing things down more than putting things up. Seen the commerical? "Bringing every State to a Higher State."
-Time out....Jason Dean. Your Pop's Fred Dean Construction. Must be rough. Moving place to place.
-Everybody's life's got static. Is your life perfect?
-It's not perfect. I don't really like my friends.
-I don't really like your friends either.
-It's like they're just people I work with and our job is being popular and shit.
-Dreadful etiquette. I apologize.
-S'okay....
-That was my first game of Strip Croquet, you know. I thank you.
-Now blah-blah-blah is all I do. I use my grand I.Q. to figure out what gloss to wear and how to hit three keggers before curfew. Some genius.
-Heather Chandler is one bitch that deserves to die.
-Killing her won't solve anything.
-A well-timed lightning bolt through her window and Monday morning, all the other heathers, shit, everybody would be cast fucking adrift.
-Well then, I'll pray for rain.
-See the condoms in the grass over there. We killed tonight, Veronica. We murdered our baby.
-Hey, it was good for me too, Sparky.
-Just saying it's not hard to end a life.
-I guess I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
-I know exactly what the hell you're talking about and you're right, you don't know what the hell you're talking about. Let's just grow up, be adults, and die.
-Good plan.
-Trust me. She skips the Saturday morning trip to Grandma's even when she's not hungover.
-I'm a Pine-Sol man, myself.
-O-kay. We'll cook up some soup and put it in a Coke. Sick, eh? Now should it be Chicken-Noodle or Bean-with-Bacon?
-What are you <u>doing</u>? You just can't go.....Besides, she'd never drink anything that looks like that.
-Milk and orange juice. Hmmmm. Maybe we could cough a phlegm globber in it or something.
-No luck? Well, milk and orange juice'll do quite nicely. Quite nicely.
-Chick-en.
-Something tells me you picked up the wrong cup.
-No shit, sherlock. I can't believe it. I just killed my best friend.
-And your worst enemy.
-What are we going to tell the cops? "Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge."
-Stop kidding around. I'm going to have to send my S.A.T. scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford.
-I'm just a little freaked, all right? You got what you wanted, you know.
-We did a murder. In Ohio, that's a crime. But if this was like a suicide thing.....
-Like a suicide thing?
-Adolescence is a period of life fraught with anxiety and confusion.
-"You might think what I've done is shocking..."
-"To me though, suicide is the natural answer to the myriad of problems life has given me."
-That's good, but Heather would never use the word "myriad."
-This is the last thing she'll ever write. She'll want to cash in on as many fifty-cent words as poss.
-She missed "myriad" on a vocab test two weeks ago, all right?
-That only proves my point more. The word is a badge for her failures at school.
-You're probably right..."People think just because you're beautiful and popular, life is easy and fun. Nobody understood I had feelings too."
-"I die knowing no one knew the real me."
-Mute!
-Heather Chandler is more popular than ever now.
-Jason, why don't you ask your little friend to stay for dinner.
-My Mom's making my favorite meal tonight. Spaghetti. Lots of oregano.
-What is this shit?
-So what? Don't smile like that, Jesus!
-I don't get the point of me writing a suicide note when we'll just be shooting them with blanks.
-Get crucial. We won't be using blanks this time.
-Do you take German?
-These are Ich Luge bullets. My grandfather snared a shitload of them in W.W. Two. They're like tranquilizers only they break the surface of the skin, enough to cause blood, but not any real harm.
-First tell me this similarity is not incredible.
-Ram and I died the day we realized we could never reveal our forbidden love to an uncaring and ununderstanding world. The joy we shared in each other's arms was greater than any touchdown. Yet we were forced to live the lie of Sexist- Beer Guzzling-Jock-Asshole.
-Exquisite, but I don't think ununderstanding is a word.
-We don't want to make them out to be too secretly eloquent. Why would the Germans invent a bullet that doesn't kill people? I mean it <u>was</u> World War Two, not a school play.
-They used them on themselves to make it look like they were dead. Really quite a brilliant device, but too flamboyant to seriously produce.
-It doesn't work on small animals!
-Oh.
-We've got a Playgirl, a candy dish, a Joan Crawford post card, and lipstick.
-You must have had fun.
-Perrier water!
-Oh come <u>on</u>. Lots of people drink Perrier. It's come a long way.
-This is Ohio. If you don't have a brewsky in your hand after dark you might as well be wearing a dress.
-Did you miss him completely?
-Yeah, but don't worry, it was worth it just to see the look on....
-Kurt doesn't look too good.
-We killed them, didn't we?
-You believed it because you wanted to believe it. Your true feelings were too gross and icky for you to face.
-I did not want them <u>dead</u>.
-Did to.
-Did not.
-Did to.
-Football season's over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing to offer the school but date-rapes and A.I.D.S. jokes.
-Your son's dead and you love him.
-Can't you see this is a special moment?
-You shoulda stuck around, jerk. Ms. Fleming wants to redefine the high school experience.
-She wants to ignore the high school experience. Our way's better. We scare people into not being assholes.
-You can be so immature!
-Let's just...settle down. Ms. Fleming has given us a chance to atone for...
-Our sins? What sins? If you put a Nazi in a concentration camp, does that make you a Nazi?
-We're breaking up. I am out!
-You're getting too cool for me, J.D. I don't know how to talk to you.
-I'm going to make this Ms. Pauline thing work. Lines of communication between the cliques. You were a phase....
-Catch a movie? Miniature Golf?
-I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open and making it look like a suicide.
-It's over, J.D. Over!
-Get off my bed, you sick psycho! You think you're a rebel! You're not a rebel! You're a sick psycho! Do you think you're a rebel? Do you think you're a rebel? I wanna know!
-Look at that. Eskimo. One word. I love it. I usually go for whole sentences myself, but hey this is perfecto. Eskimo. So mysterious...
-You're still not listening! I'm not..
-Nag, nag, nag, nag. nag.
-This knife is filthy.
-What in the hell do you think I'm doing? Taking out her tonsils?
-Tomorrow someone else will move into her place. That person could be me. Ha, there's only one of us who knows Heather's handwriting and if you think I'm doing another suicide note.
-If you'll excuse me......
-I knew that loose was too noose! I mean, noose too loose! Goddamn you!
-Okay, okay. I knew that. I knew that. Put your hands on your head.
-It's all over, J.D. Help me to stop it.
-How do you turn the fucker off?
-You're not listening. People are going to look at the ashes of Westerburg and say there's a school that self-destructed not because society didn't care, but because that school <u>was</u> society. Is that deep or what? I'll let you put it in your diary, babe. Free of charge.
-The bomb, asshole!
-Just push the red button twice. That's what stops it. If that's what you want, babe?
-You know what I want, babe?
-You really fucked me up, Veronica.
-I thought I...you..
-Who does that new kid think he is with that coat? Bo Diddley?
-Veronica is into his act. No doubt.
-Let's kick his ass.
-You going to eat this?
-What did your <u>boyfriend</u> say when you told him you were moving to Sherwood, Ohio?
-Answer him dick!
-We on tonight man?
-I still got to talk to Heather, dude. Weird funeral, huh?
-That pudwapper just stepped on my foot.
-Let's kick his ass.
-Cool off, we're seniors.
-Is it sleeping, dude?
-I think so, man.
-Then get over on my side. Oh shit, cowtipping is the fucking greatest.
-Sex and Drugs and HBO is all I ever need! Whoa! Can you hear me! Hello Tokyo! I said Sex and Drugs and...
-Shut the fuck up, all right.
-Hey kid, isn't the prom coming up?
-I guess.
-Any contestants worth mentioning?
-You two....
-Terrible thing. So will we get to meet this dark horse prom contender?
-You two....
-How was the funeral?
-Turn that back on!
-Everybody cares for youth but nobody cares about Joey Blow. When that news reporter gets home he'll scream at his son for not mowing the lawn in the right pattern.
-I'm lost. You don't get enough attention, you get too much attention. Which is it? Where are your shoes?
-Dear Veronica, Heather was your soulmate.....Share.
-Everyone take their places on the stage! Isn't this thrilling?!
-But Ms. Fleming, it's just not right.
-Veronica! J.D. told me you committed suicide last night!
-Where is he? Where's J.D.?
-We have to talk. Whether to kill yourself is one of the most important decisions a teenager has to make.
-Heather Chandler, Kurt Kelly, and Rupert "Ram" Sweeney all had good looks and popularity, but there's one thing they didn't have: Values, Ambition, and Hope.
-That's three things.
-I got a confession to make. My name used to be Heather, too.
-But my name's not...
-I'm so sorry. I was led to believe there were going to be different kinds of social and psychological types at this gathering.
-The world wants winners, I guess. Not people stained with loserness.
-Stained with loserness. Oh, I like it. Can I use that. It'd be dynamite on interoffice memoranda.
-It's all yours, Heather. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go throw up.
-Mummy has a special technique called "Deep Therapy."
-What's that?
-I adore anything to do with the arts.
-I've never cottoned on to Plasticine like you girls, but I enjoy making things out of wood.
-Are you a carpenter, Mr. Rieper? HERBERT shakes his head.
-This story of yours-maybe the school newspaper will print it when it's finished.
-Actually, Mr. Rieper . . . it's a novel, and we'll be sending it to New York. That's where all the big publishing houses are based.
-Let's have 'em now, while they're fresh, eh, Nora?
-playfully shoves his hand away.
-I'll think you'll find our Mr. Bayliss is not keen on seafood. I've got lamb chops in the 'frigerator.
-Come on! Sausage rolls.
-Come on through.
-and Pauline hurriedly work together, setting out plates and cutlery.
-Look who I've found!
-I've booked you in for a chest X-ray . . . just to be on the safe side.
-pops a couple more potatoes on Pauline's plate. HERBERT glances at Pauline.
-Yvonne hasn't been herself, either. Locking herself away in her room . . . endlessly writing.
-No arguments there, Dr. Hulme! All that time inside working on those novels of theirs. They don't get fresh air or exercise!
-waves a pair of new socks around. The family laughing and talking. Pauline is not participating. She is leaning back, looking morose. HONORA looks at her with concern.
-is chopping firewood in the back garden. HONORA approaches him.
-I've just had Hilda Hulme on the phone.
-What now?
-accompanies Hilda into the hallway.
-I'd better be getting back. Bye, love.
-pulls his coat on. HONORA gives him a peck cheek.
-Bye.
-wanders out. HONORA turns to Pauline and Juliet.
-Hello!
-Got an A, Mum!
-He's the manager!
-I spent a wretched night. It would be wonderful if I could get tuberculosis, too.
-comes in with a breakfast tray: bacon and eggs, tea and toast.
-Come on, sit up.
-I'm not hungry.
-You've got to eat, Yvonne. You hardly touched our dinner. I'm not having you falling ill.
-I just want to be on my own for a while.
-starts to cut up a slice of bacon and offers it to Pauline.
-You may have forgotten that you were once a very sick little girl, but I haven't!
-holds up a loaded fork. Pauline reluctantly takes it.
-Do you think Juliet could stay here while her parents are away?
-Juliet's infectious . . . she'll be going to hospital.
-But she'll have no one to look after her!
-I had a nasty foreboding feeling at first, but now I realise my crime was too frightful for an ordinary lecture.
-If you think for one minute that your father and I will tolerate this sort of behaviour, you've got another thing coming! You're only 14!!! You're a child! What on earth's the matter with you, Yvonne? You know what can happen with boys . . . Don't you have any self-respect?
-sighs.
-Can I go now?
-My God, what a disgrace you are! You shame me, you shame the family. You're nothing but a cheap little tart!
-Well, I guess I take after you then!
-whirls around and slaps Pauline on the cheek.
-You ran off with Dad when you were only 17! Nana Parker told me!
-My name is Gina!
-It's a letter from the school . . . from Miss Stewart.
-What does old Stew want?
-She says the standard of your work is slipping. At this rate she doesn't think you'll get School Certificate.
-Who cares!
-I care . . . your father cares . . . we want you to have a good education.
-I'm educating myself!
-You're failing English . . . you used to be top of the class- PAULINE I'm doing my own writing!
-snatches up an exercise book from a large pile.
-These stories are not going to get you School Certificate! You don't seriously think anyone's going to publish them?
-What do you know? You wouldn't know the first thing about writing. You're the most ignorant person I've ever met!
-is very angry.
-You're rude . . . rude and insolent! I don't see why I should keep a horrid child like you at school a minute longer.
-I don't wanna be in bloody school!
-I'm bloody dressing as fast as I can, for God's sake!
-The Hulmes will look after me. They want me to live with them!
-Don't be so ridiculous. You're our daughter, you belong here with us.
-I belong with Deborah! We're going to South Africa!
-You're not going anywhere. You're 15 years old!!
-You have to let me go!
-I felt thoroughly depressed and even quite seriously considered committing suicide. Life seems so much not worth the living, death such an easy way out.
-I bet he pitches a tent in the middle of their bedroom, and they have to pretend to be on some mountain!
-You have it.
-Look, Mother!
-And so, in a blazing fury, Charles runs Lancelot Trelawney through with his sword . . . leaving Deborah free to accept Charles's proposal of marriage!
-and HERBERT exchange a glance. HONORA smiles at Juliet.
-I've heard your mother on 3YA. The Woman's Session has lots of lively debate.
-I wouldn't want my private business being discussed with a complete stranger!
-I'm so happy to see you!
-hurries over.
-It's best not to get too close. Juliet's still not a hundred percent. Hello, Juliet! We've bought you some fruit.
-That's coming along well!
-I'm saving them for a rainy day.
-gives her a sympathetic look.
-I know it's hard for you being in here, but it is for the good of your health.
-They sent me off to the Bahamas "for the good of my health." They sent me to the Bay of bloody Islands "for the good of my health."
-looks startled at the outburst.
-I'm sorry, Mrs. Rieper. I'm feeling quite fatigued.
-We don't want to tire you out, dear.
-stands and picks up her handbag. Pauline stands and Juliet grabs her hand.
-Hello!
-Hello, Juliet. Juliet take off her jacket.
-Oh-what a nice outfit!
-is bending down, pulling a tray of sausage rolls into the oven. Both girls look at HONORA silently.
-turns around and Juliet presents her with a brown paper bag.
-Fruit.
-But you're not fat, Mrs. Rieper!
-Mummy!
-She's terribly hurt . . .
-0h, God . . . I'm so sorry!
-It doesn't matter.
-I think I'm dying . . .
-I wish James would do a religious picture . . . he'd be perfect as Jesus!
-But, we're all going to Heaven!
-James will be there . . . and Mario! Only they'll be saints.
-To be known as He!
-Him.
-This.
-That.
-He flings open the door and launches himself at the bed, ravishing her!
-What?
-It's so beautiful!
-I shall call him Diello.
-You're such an incredible woman.
-You'll never guess what's happened!!
-What??
-John has fallen in love with me!
-How do you know? Did he tell you?
-I think I'm going crazy.
-No, you're not, Gina-it's everybody else who is bonkers!
-Let's go overseas . . .
-Stay still or they'll be blurry . . .
-Hurry up! I'm freezing!
-Just a couple more . . .
-I'm sure they'll notice things missing.
-This lot's got to be worth 50 quid!
-I can try my father's safe. I'm sure I can get the keys to his office.
-I thought he was supposed to be terribly ill.
-Poor Mother was completely taken in.
-Do you think Bloody Bill's trying to get into her draws?
-Poor Father . . .
-But that's not true! I've got one.
-I'm coming with you.
-Yes . . .
-Mummy!
-Let's go upstairs, Deborah. I wrote the last 10 pages of my opera last night.
-It's a three-act story with a tragic end.
-Your mother is a rather miserable woman . . . isn't she?
-I thought for hours about whether Carmelita should accept Bernard's marriage proposal . . .
-Bye, Dad.
-Isn't it beautiful!
-Are you a dream too?
-Still hallucinating as well. Hmm...
-What just happened to me anyway? It looked like a dream but it felt like reality.
-Where's Kirsty? Where's my wife?
-What's happening to me? What are you doing?
-Well? What do you say Trevor? Que pasa?
-Let me see. Oh yeah. My head feels like it's going through a meat grinder. I'm not sure if I'm dreaming or...
-That `poor me' attitude doesn't suit you Trevor. Listen, I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna but things could be worse. There's one good thing about coming so near to the end of ones life. Everything is new and exciting, like your seeing it for the first time. You might see things a litlle differently from now on.
-Your insight is enlightening.
-Allison? Why can't remember what happened to my wife? Is it something I'm on that's... that's making me forget?
-Easy there Trevor. You need to relax.
-No I need to remember. Look whatever it is take me off it. I can handle pain. I can't handle not knowing...
-These hallucinations I'm having. I think they're more like memories coming back to me in a strange way.
-Well that's not necessarily a bad thing is it?
-If they're blocked memories... I'm starting to realize the reason why I blocked them out. Allison I think I really... screwed everything up.
-Shh. Don't blame yourself Trevor. Please.
-Well Trevor? What have you got to say for yourself? Que pasa?
-Allison we have GOT to talk about this medication you've got me on.
-You're one tough cookie, Trevor Gooding. You keep coming back to your corner for a quick fix up then go right back out into the ring for another round.
-Of course, yes.
-The way you just looked at me...
-So, I'm done. Thats it for today?
-Hint. It's not a geographical location.
-I'm stumped.
-It's inside a moving car.
-I've got numbers to back me up. Over the course of one year more Americans die in car accidents than did during the entire span of World War II.
-Millions of people around the world get on busses every day. When was the last time you heard of anybody anywhere dying on a public transit bus?
-Okay Mr. Statistics I've got one for you. What's the most common cause of death for adults over the age of eighteen?
-Please. Heart attack. That was easy street.
-Second most common?
-Skin cancer.
-Eighty third most common.
-Pitbull attacks.
-We startred off to be. She was, I guess I was. I just sort of....butchered up the relationship somehow. Bad choice of words.
-I understand, I think. Other women?
-Yeah. It's like I was a different guy then I am today. I can't remember that guy. I see these women, they think I'm someone else, and I'm not that guy anymore. I'm not sure who Kristy knew.
-You were unfaithful, it sounds like your confessing.
-Lucky for us these chairs happened to be here.
-Don't tell me. Kirsty used to smoke?
-Sure plenty of times.
-Well?
-Trevor if someone is talking from a sleep state they are obviously dreaming. So practically everything say is going to sound strange.
-Did I ever talk about the accident?
-No.
-Did I ever talk about Kirsty?
-No. But at one point you did repeat something though. A phrase. You must have been having this recurring dream, you just kept saying this one thing over and over
-Sorry.
-If it makes you feel better that took every ounce of self control I had. Trevor, I never date patients.
-I understand... I won't-
-No you don't understand. That's why I've been fighting to get you better. So you wouldn't be a patient anymore.
-Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would have switched doctors!
-Allison I think I did some very, very bad things. I mean very bad.
-Trevor things like this happen to people who experience temporary memory loss. Everybody does things they regret. You just couldn't remember doing these things and now you are so it's a shock to the system. I'm telling you. You will never get better if you keep blaming yourself for your wife's death.
-Trevor what is the metric probability of you getting any work done at all today?
-Hey Bret. Christ, my head feels like a split coconut.
-Give me a break. I checked back into the hospital- amongst other things.
-Hospital? You haven't been to the hospital since uh...
-Since what?
-Must be nice.
-What?
-The boss won't notice me doing a bad job because I'm not. Even if the boss thought I was slacking I'd know right away.
-Yeah, how's that?
-I have my connections
-Really? Do tell.
-GWEN?
-I crap you not. She was all over me yesterday in the break room. And she was a total machine last night too.
-You were supposed to have a date with Gwen last night? GWEN DEARDON? The supervisor?
-Hey if you're not doing anything I'd like to buy you a beer after work. Be just like old times.
-What's the occasion?
-I've got a better offer. More time off. A sort of career shift, more in the engineering line of work.
-How much time off?
-So you're just packing it up just like that?
-Almost that fast. I got a few loose ends to tie up first. Came into a shitload of money recently. I've always wanted to go to take a trip. We're just gonna walk into the airport and decide right then and there.
-Yeah? You and who else?
-Bret... what the fuck...?
-Tonight was supposed to be the night, Trevor. Remember? I couldn't believe you went through five dart games and didn't even joke about it.
-Bret. What the hell is going on?
-We were gonna be millionaires you said. Nobody'd suspect a thing. I had never even met her. No connection. Then you went and had that fucking car accident.
-Bret you are making no sense whatsoever.
-Hello I'm Dr...
-Ambrose. I know.
-Have we met?
-I've been in here before.
-Why don't you relax for the next couple of hours? Barring any relapses you should be able to go home after that.
-Who's Allison?
-What did you just say?
-I said she's been missing for-
-No. No you said HER BODY's been missing.
-Last time anybody saw this woman she was alive. You seem to certain she's dead.
-You could say that.
-Zero's a number right?
-As in one minus one equals zero yes. Where are you going with this?
-Now I want you to tell me what you remember happening- in your own words- exactly the way you told Detective Lange. But this time I want you to make one small adjustment.
-Come on speak up, Gooding, I'm trying to run a business here. I can't have people flipping out in the break room when they should be slaving away at their desks.
-Get back here, junior bean counter. This is your supervisor speaking.
-Please, Gwen. You're- you're all over me.
-What's wrong, Trev?
-Nothing, look. Gwen I really like you-
-YOU'RE giving ME a speeding ticket? Mr. Mario Andretti himself?
-Gwen, my wife's dead.
-That was cold...
-Good boy. Where's is it?
-What?
-Our little toy. You usually have it up and running by now.
-Twenty one. Why do we have to do this now Kirsty?
-Shut up and play darling. Your turn.
-Five hundred ninety two thousand seven hundred and four.
-Uh... eighty two?
-You win! Okay pull over.
-But... I thought...
-What isn't wrong? Why are you doing this anyway?
-Just concentrate on the task at hand please. Listen to me. You should be giving ME this lecture.
-You've been cheating on me haven't you?
-Yes I had a quickie with the neighbor during your last contraction.
-Oh my God. It's coming out.
-What?
-OH MY GOD TREVOR! It hurts!! oh my God, Oh my God. Trevor, It's coming out.
-How does feel to be Mr. Kirsty Hughes for a whole year.
-In a word? Lucrative.
-The best business decision if you ever made I'll bet.
-Enjoyable too. The merger never even felt work for one second.
-You know what the family lawyer told me one our wedding day?
-What?
-Never to put you in my will.
-But you had more wisdom than to listen to a false prophet
-And besides, I thought, to hell with it... it's okay if you only married me for my money.
-Really, why's that?
-Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Gooding.
-Kirsty... Kirsty?
-You're alive...
-Trevor I've decided we have got to agree on a name before we reach my mother's. This poor kid's going to be starting preschool as student x if we don't make up our minds. So, I've been thinking, what about Daisy?
-Thanks for coming down Mr. Gooding. Has your head healed okay by now?
-Where's my wife?
-What evidence?
-For one thing there were no skid marks on that bridge, the tires were all intact, from what we could tell, nothing wrong internally with the vehicle either. Like the car had been driven off the bridge intentionally.
-It should all in the report. I told you guys everything. She was giving birth in the fucking car. She grabbed the wheel and I lost control.
-Sorry I'm in your seat aren't I?
-I thought you loved games.
-I'll just stay out of this conversation until you come out and tell me why you've disrupted me at work.
-You and your wife were playing a game shortly before you got into that car accident weren't you?
-Sorry to take up your time like that Trevor. Don't work too hard. Oh, before I forget. I talked your neighbor out of pressing charges.
-What?
-The whackjob in the black lipstick who lives down the hall? She wanted you arrested for harassment. I told her to chill out and smoke a joint. I'd look the other way as long as she did you know?
-Thanks.
-Morgue...?
-Look Larry I know you never thought too much of me. And I know this all sounds a little fucked up.
-A little? Try unbelievably.
-Trevor barring the more outrageous aspects of your claim you are not the only widower the police have questioned when foul play is suspected.
-Hey ninety five point three percent of all murders are committed by either a spouse, a direct relative or a close friend that's common knowledge. But this wasn't murder it was an accident-
-And as far as hiding a body goes? I find it hard to believe even the dirtiest of cops would keep a victim's remains hidden simply to get someone to confess. It's absolutely preposterous. Now I'm not saying I don't believe you, I'm....ambiguous. There's quite alot of money behind all this.
-What happens if I'm convicted of Kirsty's murder?
-Please Larry. Pretend you like me and humor me.
-Seeing you were her sole benefactor, and I'm the executive of the will, Kirsty's entire estate would have to be donated to the city.
-Hello? City? Cops? It's a fucking conspiracy!
-Pardon my glibness Trevor but you sound like a raving lunatic. The next time you seek counsel it should be of the psychiatric type. You're obviously on the verge of some nervous collapse.
-Least let me finish will ya? Got one puff left.
-I don't work here.
-Hey buddy!
-... but I'm starting to think I was... I was going to...
-What do you want?!
-Do you know where you are?
-Ambulance.
-Okay how many fingers am I holding up?
-Two.
-You mean... when the car went off the bridge?
-Poor Trevor.
-This game is over do you hear me?
-How is our little student doing? Has he learned his lesson yet?
-I don't know who you are or what you want. I just want to know what's under that sheet...
-What's under that sheet...?
-I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm not even Catholic. I just had to tell somebody. It's like, ever since my wife died I don't know what I've actually done or what I've imagined. But I do know if one tenth of what's happening to me is reality... I've done some really awful things in my life. Things that I've... I guess I've
-What things do you think you've done?
-But I saw these women. I saw their mutilated bodies. I saw their ghosts. I just know it happened I can feel it...
-All you've got is the here and the now Trevor. That's all anyone really has. Maybe this will make things easier to understand. A man goes to sleep every night and has recurring dream that he's a butterfly. In time he begins to wonder if he might actually be a butterfly who dreams he's a man. And at the end of the day does
-But that's what I need. To be sure... to be absolutely sure...
-Dreams?
-I was going to say dimensions. But I guess technically they are dreams.
-Trevor your body has been completely healed. All the nerve endings have repaired themselves. If there is any pain in your head it's... in your head.
-My teacher told me once there's a puncture point on your body that can lock your soul within it, even after you're dead. So that when you die you're trapped inside your body, watching it corrode for all eternity.
-It was an analogy. Your soul is locked up inside you. You need to free it Trevor. You've blocked it from the healing process. That's what we need to do now. Heal your soul. And to do that I you have to give in utterly and without any hesitation or doubt. Do you know what I mean by giving in? It's about trust. Do
-I don't even know what's real and what isn't how can I trust anyone?
-Are you ready?
-Wait... what the hell is this...
-... knock on my door, I'm a total insomniac.
--Tawny.
-Whew. You bounce right back don't you?
-Last week...
-It's not that kind of date.
-Hey. Can I borrow something?
-Uh... sure, Tawny... what?
-Tawny? What's- what are you doing?
-You okay?
-I'm, uh, not sure... Feeling kind of weird actually.
-I'm kinda feeling nuts myself!
-I've never said this to a woman before but can't we talk a little bit before grabbing at each other?
-Wow. That's good. Lots of capers, huh?
-If you ever smelled this coming from our dorm room, you knew one of us was in there getting laid.
-You must have been very proud of yourselves...
-Tawny I think I'm going to be sick.
-Whoa, I have serious space issues, dude. What do you want?
-I... think we need to talk, there's something really strange going on...
-Hey you're the guy from down the hall.
-Come on, quit fucking around. Listen it's about... what we did together last night.
-And you pulled people out? You're... a hero.
-Nah, I fucked it up. I was tryin' to impress this kid, don't ask me why. I was gonna rescue his old man, but I couldn't find the poor bastard. He musta blew up. I got the hell outta there. I didn't have the nerve to face the kid.
-A lotta people wouldn't have tried. It was pretty brave even trying...
-You got a drinking problem or what?
-I sell them at the recycling center. Gives me a little for gas and food.
-Looks like you live in here, for Chrissake!
-You should give it to someone with only one leg.
-One leg! Like the Red Cross or something?
-Sell it to him. You get a couple bucks, it pays for the ride. I got a job, nice apartment. I do okay.
-They interview you or anything? At the plane crash?
-Hey, Bubber, c'mere! I gotta talk to you, buddy.
-LaPlante!
-I just wanna talk with you for a minute. Then you can jump. You can jump twice for all I care.
-Talk from there. You can talk from there.
-That's for Ga... Ms. Gayley.
-What am I, a goddamn postman? I'm way the fuck up here, I'm scared a heights, and you want me to deliver a letter? Put a stamp on it for Chrissake!
-That's close enough. It's a confession. The truth. Jesus, I'm sorry, LaPlante. I had the shoe, you said you didn't want, publicity because of your legal problems.
-I don't recall saying I didn't want a million bucks...
-I never really thought they'd go for it. And then... you didn't come forward, they investigated my war record... I kept expecting you to show up and expose me...
-I was in the can, for Chrissake.
-The bathroom! For two days?
-Jail! Listen, Bubber... This is crazy. We could fall off of here.
-You should go in. You're risking your life again...
-What have I done? I was dirt poor and useless... but I was honest.
-You stole her purse! While you were saving her?
-What's the big deal? You decided to pretend you were me. A little moment of weakness, right? So I sorta swiped her purse. I got feet of clay too, bUddy.
-And she thinks you're blackmailing me?
-Which don't sound like such a bad goddamn idea, John.
-Huh? Whadda you mean?
-Well, we gotta work this thing out, John. It's a goddamn mess an' I'm halfway to doing serious time in the joint an' the TV lady's so stuck on you she don't want it to come out you stole her purse because it might break the heart of millions. Looka those maniacs, willya? They love you, for Chrissake!
-I don't need to be a hero, LaPlante, but I can't face people... the looks in their eyes... after the trust they gave me!
-Great! You make this big goddamn mess, then ya jump. Beautiful! Listen, John, I was there at the hospital today, I seen you with those little bastards .
-It was you! I thought I heard...
-I'm not saying I hate sick people or anything but I hate being <u>around</u> them if you know what I mean. There <u>you</u> go, you <u>inspire</u> this kid to <u>live</u>. I probably woulda vomited on him.
-You got those people out of the plane, LaPlante, not me.
-You <u>woulda</u> gone in there, you wouldn'ta thought twice... Trust me on that, that's the kinda guy you are. For a guy like me, it's a momentary loss of sanity. I wasn't thinking clearly. Listen, I'm no hero, John. I just want some dough and maybe a little favor. How much didja spend already on all that do-gooder bullshit? You didn't spend it <u>all</u>
-Well, I donated a lot to different causes, uh... La...
-Bernie. Call me Bernie.
-You got it? Four year scholarship to a top college, plus Medical School or Law School or whatever Joey wants; pay off the $2,500 to my attorney, plus pay her fee in full, plus my annual consulting fee...
-And give a deposition to the jUdge.
-Listen, John, you better double my attorney's fee. She's very inexperienced, but she done a great job for me. And give her your autograph. She thinks you're some kinda holy man.
-On the deposition for the jUdge, Bernie... I mean there's no way I can promise anything. I can't tell him what we're up to...
-You'll tell him I talked you out of jumping, right? Just keep me outta prison.
-I... I'll do the best I can, Bernie.
-I dunno. It was... an impulse. Me, wearing my good shoes.
-Same with me, pretending I was you. An impulse. Why not? I had this shoe.
-There was this kid there saying, "Go in there and save my father, mister." And I'm thinking about my boy Joey and this goddamn fireman my wife's seeing. It was like I was supposed to save myself.
-Yeah, and with me it was like I was supposed to pretend the shoe was mine.
-Looking... good, partner. Hang in there.
-What's going on? "Guilty"! What is this?
-I got your bail continued.
-"Anticipation of incarceration"?
-He means prison, Mr. LaPlante.
-I know what he means. I'm not a prison kinda guy, Miss O'Day. I'm a goddamn working man for Chrissake! Maybe I "augment" my income a little with some "business deals," maybe summa the guys I sell to are crooks, how would I know, I'm not an investigator. You can't make it on a wage no more, not in this country.
-I think our best course right now would be to focus on the Probation Officer's report...
-He gives a good report and I walk?
-We can hope. You still have your job, right?
-Yeah, I been calling in sick. They think I got the flu.
-And a son by your ex-wife? Joseph.
-A son, yeah. What about him? Joey.
-Are you pretty involved in his upbringing?
-Involved! Christ! She attached my goddamn paycheck! Child support. Why do you think I can't afford a lawyer? You know what I mean. Why I got a court appointed lawyer instead of a, uh, more experienced...
-I understand. How often do you see your son?
-Often, uh.
-How recently?
-Uh, his birthday, uh, May. I think.
-It's November.
-She don't like me to see him. Says I'm a bad influence.
-Uh, I know you're having financial difficulties, Mister LaPlante, but I wonder if... I mean, the money I loaned you...
-"The Angel of Flight 104!" You're telling me you're the A...?
-"Angel!" I didn't say "angel," that's a little strong. Listen, here's the thing, I gotta get over there to the TV station to collect my million bucks.
-Mister LaPlante, I really want to help you, but crazy stories are only going to make it worse. The D.A. is asking your bail be set at twenty-five thousand dollars because you were arrested again while you were out on bail...
-Whaddaya mean they didn't reduce the bail? If they didn't reduce it, how'dja spring me?
-I took a loan on my car and my computer.
-You whaaaaaat? You paid it? You gave a bondsman ten percent?
-I was inspired by the hero, how he stuck his neck out for others, how he took a chance...
-That fake <u>inspired</u> you to loan a guy who's been fired off his job <u>twenty-five hundred</u> goddamn dollars? A guy you say is probably gonna <u>do</u> <u>time</u>! You're s'posed to be an <u>attorney</u> for Chrissake! You're s'posed to have <u>good judgment</u>!
-Listen, now that I owe you twenty-five hundred bucks plus, how about loaning me twenty for cab fare?
-So you can call me "naive," Mister LaPlante.
-Hey, you could call me "Bernie," forget the "Mister LaPlante" stuff. You are naive.
-I read the probation report. It's not good. I think you're going... going to prison, Mister... Bernie. I know that scares you but..
-I seen on the TV where that do-gooder asshole's gonna go visit sick kids at three-thirty. Children's Hospital, on the double.
-Hey! Do I have a record? Have I ever done time? I mean I been arrested a few times, who hasn't? Parking tickets for Chrissake! Suspicion of stuff! Have I ever been convicted of anything?
-Mister LaPlante...
-Take a look at my employment record, you got my employment record there, right? You see any unemployment there, any welfare? I'm a taxpayer. They eat me alive, the tax people, they got taxes on everything, taxes, taxes, taxes, and forms! Taxes and forms so I can pay your goddamn salary, so you can sit there and write stuff, guys like me pay your
-Mister LaPlante...
-Do I hit anybody? You see me shoot anybody? Hey, drugs! Do I sell drugs? Jesus, I don't belong in prison. I'm a family man.
-Mister LaPlante...
-Some guys been looking for me, Chick? Spanish kinda guys.
-Spanish kinda guys!
-What is it, five days now I don't see you!
-Nope. Legal problems, you gotta have a good attorney.
-My attorney, she's just outta law school, about a couple of years older than my kid, for Chrissake.
-You gotta kid? How old's your kid?
-Nine. I think. Maybe ten. Yeah, ten. Nice kid.
-You got a ten year old attorney, Bernie?
-I didn't even know you had a kid.
-The thing about kids is, they're so... young! They don't know nothin' yet. When you're a kid, you think you're gonna grow up an' be a "wonderful person" instead of an asshole, like everybody else.
-We're all assholes, Bernie?
-Bernie, how'sa kid?
-You don't wanna know, Chick, you don't wanna know. Those guys been in here?
-You in business with those guys or what? I wouldn't want a problem for the establishment, Bern.
-Hey, I don't blame you for bein' sore. I know I screwed up gettin' busted in here. You got a right to throw me out.
-What wouldja say if I toldja I ran into a burning plane an' saved a buncha people, Chick, an' risked my goddamnlife?
-You mean like Bubber? The hero?
-Yeah, like that. Same thing.
-Well... I mean... what am I supposed to say here, Bern? Is this a riddle or what?
-I mean, if I said it, wouldja believe me? Ya wouldn't, would ya?
-It's a character thing, Bernie. I mean, you wouldn't do it. No offense. Me neither. I mean, a guy like Bubber, he's a certain kinda guy. Heroic. You and me, we're not... heroic. It's not our nature. It don't mean we're bad or nothing. We're just not so inclined. What about it?
-Nothin'.
-I wouldn't be depressed about it, Bern. A guy don't have to be heroic to be a human being.
-The thing is, Chick. I'm goin' down.
-Bill, I...
-DON'T SAY "BILL," BERNIE! DON'T SAY ONE WORD! DIDN'T I SAY "ONE WORD AND YOU'RE FIRED?"
-I...
-YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT'LL BE AN <u>EXCUSE</u>! IT'LL BE "BERNIE LAPLANTE EXCUSE NUMBER FOUR THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND SIX." NO, FOUR THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE. THAT'S HOW MANY EXCUSES YOU HAVE GIVEN ME, I KEEP TRACK OF THEM ELECTRONICALLY. I HEARD THEM ALL, BERNIE.
-Bill, I got some legal problems and I...
-THAT'S IT! YOU TALKED! YOU'RE FIRED! OUTTA HERE! GET OUTTA HERE!
-Bill, listen...
-OUT! I TOLDJA. JESUS CHRIST, I GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING! AN' YOU WERE GONNA GO OUT LIKE THAT? AN' MEET THE PUBLIC IN STOCKING-FUCKING-FEET?
-Bill, I got financial problems and...
-He waited for you three hours!
-You are not gonna believe this, Evelyn! Absolutely fantastic! I'm on my way --
-I am so tired of your bullshit, Bernie.
-Ev, it's not my fault! I'm trying to tell you this incredible --
-It's never your fault, Bernie! Never ever! You screwed up my life, now you're gonna screw up Joey's life, but you're never gonna accept responsibility for anyth--
-Is he here, your friend. The fireman?
-He had an emergency call... a <u>real</u> emergency.
-Willya lemme talk for Chrissake? I'm trying to tell you what happened. What happened is...
-That's what I'm trying to... to... okay, nevermind. Just lemme talk to Joey to... to apologize.
-He's in bed! You're not gonna wake him and make him crazy, do you understand? He comes home from the zoo, he wants to know if Elliot's a "war hero" like you... he wants to know how many people you killed...
-"Elliot"? The heroic goddamn fireman?
-I had to explain your tendancy to "exaggerate", How you were actually "in country" all of two weeks and how you killed about as many people as the other clerk-typists in your outfit, no more, no less...
-Three weeks, Ev. I didn't tell him I killed anybody...
-Maybe not,... but you let him believe it! And then I gotta explain about the homeless...
-The homeless!
-Listen, it's important, Ev, I gotta see him, I got my reasons, very goddamn important...
-Use the phone, Bernie, call him tomorrow, he'd like to hear from you. Where's your other shoe? Never mind! I don't want to know. Some fantastic adventure, right? Something really crazy.
-I was giving him some advice is all. Preparing him for life. You don't want him to grow up soft, Ev , it's tough out there, it's a goddamn jungle.
-You!
-Camera, Chucky. Are you Bernard LaPlante, sir? What is your relationship with John Bubber?
-Turn that thing off.
-How did you acquire this, Mister LaPlante?
-How do ya think I got it, for Chrissake? Hey, put that thing down. This is my goddamn apartment, you can't just...
-For God's sake, tell him I'm on my way. Let's go, Chucky. A police escort is gonna pick us up en route. You too, LaPlante.
-Me!
-If you're not in the car in ten seconds, I'll have the cops pick you up.
-The cops! What kinda bullshit is this? Is this America or -- ?
-My fault! My fault! This nut case goes out on a ledge and it's my fault?
-If anything happens to John BUbber, Mister LaPlante I'm going to see you prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
-What, is everybody in love with this, bozo? I don't get this. What about...?
-Yes, everybody <u>is</u> in love with John Bubber. The whole country, in fact. And they're not going to be happy if he jumps to his death because he was harassed by a lousy little money-grubbing low-life fence...
-"Harassed." Cause I yelled at him when he's riding in his limo? The guy's a thief, he took my...
-He had one <u>tiny</u>, uncharacteristic moment of weakness. That's not the same thing as a lifetime of petty crime...
-Hey, lady, I got faults, I know I'm not perfect but I don't get this at all, your attitude. I saved your...
-A lifetime of petty crime climaxed by your sleaziest accomplishment yet... blackmailing a national hero...
--- saved your... whaaaaaaat? What? Blackmailing...?
-You think I haven't figured it out? Just because the cops aren't on to you yet doesn't mean you're home free. I'm a veteran reporter. I've seen your kind before, the underbelly of crime.
-Underbelly!
-All this is off the record, Chucky, because if John Bubber lives, Mister LaPlante is going to give him his assurance that there will be no more "misbehavior" on his part. What's more he's going to apologize.
-I'm going to apologize to Bubber?
-I could deny I had those credit cards on the plane with me, LaPlante...
-Lie, you mean...
-Well, maybe I wouldn't lie...but I could tell the story the way I did just now, so that people could understand that John is even more of a hero, and that you... you're the lowest thing that ever crawled. Your name will be synonymous with cynical opportunism and blackmail. You won't get a cent.
-I got a kid, you know. I'm a person, for Chrissake.
-I snuck in.
-You media people, you think you can just go anywhere you want, spy on people.
-Listen, Mister LaPlante... uh, Bernie... Who... are... you?
-Who am I? You're asking me? You're the big expert for Chrissake! I'm what? The "Scumbag," right? The sleazebag something or other, the blackmailer, the...
-Was it you? In the plane? Who saved my life?
-Me? Listen, I don't give no interviews. That was John Bubber. You wanna ask me questions, you could talk to my attorney, Miss O'Day.
-This guy, this "friend" your mother's seeing, he's a fireman, huh? He ever... spend the night, whatsisname?
-Sometimes. His name's Elliot. He saved a guy's life one time. In a fire.
-Oh yeah? A hero, huh? Was he in the 'Nam, this guy Elliot?
-"The Nomm"? What's that?
-It was this war. Viet Nam. Doesn't matter.
-Were you in it? In the war?
-You never saw that picture, huh?
-What picture?
-Are you gonna take me somewhere next weekend?
-Here. Get off here.
-Listen, buddy, I'm really enjoying this relationship we got going here. I been missing out on not knowing you better. Thing is, I got all this business stuff...
-Here we are. Yeah, that's a possibility. A movie. Now you gwan in, tell your mother I got you back on time. Point that out to her. She was always on my case for stuff like that. She's still like that, right?
-Yeah, my dad's great. He took me to the zoo.
-You remember where I said how I was gonna explain about life, buddy? Well, the thing about life is... it gets weird. See people are always gonna be talking to you about "truth." Everybody always knows what the truth is, like it was toilet paper or something and they got a supply in the closet. But what you learn as you get older is,
-Uh, no.
-Uh, er... I...
-You were saying you don't want a million dollars.
-Well, I'm not entitled to a million dollars. I... I... didn't expect... I didn't expect...
-All the adulation? It makes you feel like a fake, doesn't it?
-Instant celebrity is overwhelming to anybody. <u>You've</u> known John Bubber all your life, you're used to him, you know you're the same human being you were before all the excitement. So you feel like a fraud...
-Yes.
-Is she... serious? A half a million dollars? In my behalf?
-Uh, no. But I, uh, wonder if you could up support... support a program to help the needy and...
-Uh, if you could, just, uh, support, uh, a small airfield...
-Years? There are going to be lots of... opportunities.
-I... I know that, John...
-You... you think I saved your... life. I can't take advantage....
-I... no... I don't have the right... I...
-No, I don't have the right. You're a <u>news</u> <u>story</u>!
-I know the truth, John. I'm flying in some guys from your unit in Vietnam tomorrow. Interviewing them live on network hookup!
-Vietnam!
-You were... very... inspiring.
-A script! I thought we just walked through everything...
-Now you help me up. Boy, you seem... taller. It must be psychological... now that I know you saved my life...
-Gale! I can't go through with this! It's... it's all wrong!'
-You're doing fine. You didn't actually lift me though. It was more like you supported me.
-That's not what I mean...
-There, like that. Kind of, uh, sexy. You can support me anytime, John.
-Gale...
-I just remembered. You were talking about bodybuilding and swearing.
-It's not right, Gale...
-Gale! This is for you. I want you to know I never meant to hurt you. This will explain everything.
-John, I know all about it.
-"A little mistake"!
-Did you get it? Jesus, did I say that?
-What're we talking about? Reach out for what?
-We're gonna wait here? The guy could be hours.
-Maybe, maybe not. I have a feeling this guy is important somehow.
-Hey, listen, great that you're a career-fiend, I got a wife and family, I...
-What's the matter?
-What is it?
-The...Silver...Mike...Award!
-This guy LaPlante won an award?
-"For Excellence in the Pursuit of Truth."
-Swiped your purse! While he was saving you? You gotta be kidding!
-He's gotta be a nut! He saves all those people and swipes a <u>purse</u>?
-It would make me feel like a human being instead of a cynical, hardbitten newswoman. Besides it wouldn't be a bad story, would it, "Newswoman Saves Suicide?"
-Unprofessional.
-You just can't bear the idea of good news.
-She broke up with her boyfriend. Listen, babe, we needja back. You gotta follow up on the jumper, find the human interest in the grim, unending tale of woe that pours from the wounded heart of the heartless metropolis.
-The story behind the story, the ugly scandal behind the falling millionaire, the dirt, you mean.
-That too.
-There's a lot of confusion around what went on last night, it's not clear...
-You said all the passengers were accounted for...
-We're piecing together different accounts and...
-There could be problems with something like that Mister Wallace. What if...?
-How'd it go?
-He's right. It's unprofessional.
-Saving people is not our job. It's as wrong to step in and save someone as it would be to push someone off.
-Ticket! What's going on?
-She's flying to New York. She's been nominated for a Silver Mike...
-Not bad. But if you gotta wear a cast, you oughtta feature it more it's parta the story. Network's taking everything we give 'em. They wanta feed off our six o'clock whether we find the mystery guy or not. We're very big nationally.
-It's a wonderful piece. Emotional. I love it.
-We're gonna feature Gale's cast more. The trick is gonna be keeping the upper hand on this piece. As long as we have Gale and there's no mystery guy, we're the center of the story. But if he shows up and somebody else gets him first or exclusive...
-I thought they'd all go "It's him! It's him!" and hug the guy or something.
-Relax, Wally. He had the shoe and the shoe checks out.
-Does this mean I can stop worrying? Where'd we put him?
-Upset! What's he upset about?
-Said he's not an actor.
-He's not <u>supposed</u> to be an actor, that's the whole point. He's a <u>real</u> <u>life</u> <u>hero</u>, all he has to do is <u>act</u> like a real life hero. That's the <u>beauty</u> of the <u>concept</u>, the whole <u>freshness</u> of it. Did she call him back?
-She's talking to him now.
-Whaddaya mean what do I wanna know? I wanna know everything. Who's this screwball LaPlante for Pete's sake, what the hell's he doing out there, auditioning for the priesthood? You're supposed to be on top of this, Gale, don't... "Quit!" You can't quit! It's unprofessional!
-Quit? She wants to quit?
-She wants to quit?
-Gale shoulda aired that bit first, she's the one who found this clown LaPlante! She let Channel Eight get a beat on us.
-Listen, Deak, what if Bubber <u>has</u> got something to hide? What if he's the wrong guy, not really the hero...?
-Helluva story!
-It's not unthinkable.
-What?
-The Presidency. The public loves him.
-He lost a shoe!
-Who lost a shoe? Wash your hands.
-My father didn't have his shoes on when he... when he came here.
-You were in bed. Weren't you?
-My God! It... it <u>is</u> him!
-If I gave you the impression I hated him I didn't mean to. I... I hate the way he <u>behaves</u>... he's selfish and self-centered and cynical...
-What's "cynical"?
-Oh my God! Bernie!
-Hi, Chief. You like the suicide?
-Never reach out!
-I didn't say I thought we should have saved him..
-You didn't?
-I haven't won it yet. I notice you've got me scheduled on a flight back an hour after the ceremony.
-LaPlante! That asshole! I don't... Hey, is that you, from the tee vee? In person?
-We're from Channel Four, yes. We'd like to find --
-"This is Gale Gayley for Channel Four News!" Incredible. Unbelievable! For Bernie LaPlante! He's a celebrity now? 'Cause he stole <u>paint</u>?
-Shouldn't we have buzzed him to let him know --
-No dead body. Too bad. Not too often you guys get pictures of a body even before the cops get there. Exclusive!
-There's no face really, nothing to work with. Big dots, that's all you'll get.
-Is he like that in real life? So gorgeous?
-He's pretty... remarkable.
-You didn't... get it on with him?
-Don't be ridiculous. I'm a reporter.
-Reporters don't have hormones?
-Hey, Miss Gayley, there's a cop looking for you. From Robbery Detail, Inspector Dayton. He wants you to call him.
-What about?
-I didn't ask him.
-Excuse me, Ms. Gayley. That guy Inspector Dayton... he's recovered a bunch of your credit cards and he wants...
-Who?
-Inspector Dayton, the cop from Robbery Detail who was looking for you. They caught the guy who stole your credit cards trying to sell them and he wants...
-You test each one thoroughly?
-You better believe it, buddy. Your average Rolls Royce doesn't have to pass as many tests. You want consistency? You want dependability? You want safety?
-Safety?
-Look at that. You can't buy better protection than that. That there is your Man's Best Friend.
-How are they with kids?
-They're great with kids. They love 'em. They eat 'em up. I'm kidding.
-So this really does the trick, eh?
-So, <u>Neil</u>. How's it goin'?
-Okay.
-Hey, c'mon.
-Give it here, Bernard.
-Was that your dad?
-So where are all your toys?
-Let's watch some TV.
-Where are these toys of yours?
-A lot of my stuff hasn't been unpacked yet. Here's the TV.
-Are you being helped, sir?
-I'm looking for some perfume.
-Any particular brand?
-Well, it's for a woman.
-Wife, girlfriend or mother?
-How's the new place?
-It's great. It's clean and airy and quiet -- there are trees and flowers. There's still some fixing up I have to do, but it's coming along.
-And the rent is okay?
-Oh, it's nothing. No problem. I was really lucky to find this place.
-All right then. That's important, isn't it? -- For you to be in an "up" environment. I'm saying you should literally take that as your <u>base</u>, do you know what I mean? It's something positive that you've accomplished -- even if you were forced by circumstance -- something for you to build upon.
-Right.
-And what about work? Have you had any more thoughts about what you'd like to be doing now?
-Well, I've been doing a little independent contracting, some carpentry here and there, y'know, do-it-yourself-type stuff. I still find it very soothing.
-I'm happy that you're working again. As long as it comes naturally, that's terrific. You've always liked working with your hands, haven't you?
-Yeah, since I was a kid. I had a woodwork class once when I was... in school that time. Then I learned a lot more when I was in the --
--- hospital.
--- institution.
-Right. So, you have a new place, you've started working a bit -- I'm sure you'll be meeting some new people.
-Actually, I have met someone. There's a woman I think I like.
-Yeah, things are moving along, but she's still involved with this other guy and it's a little tricky.
-Listen, no one ever said expressing yourself to the opposite sex is easy, but when the time comes, you have to do it and you <u>hope</u> the outcome will be good for both of you. You come out of solitary and you rejoin the human race, as difficult as that sometimes can be.
-I guess so. I mean, I know I'm responsible for my own actions. It was never because I was angry with anyone. I didn't mean to hurt anyone ever.
-And how are things with your lady friend, if I may call her that?
-Oh, fine. She's gone away for a little while and when she comes back I've sort of resolved to really tell her how much I care for her.
-That's terrific. Don't be afraid to be demonstrative. You're sounding a lot more confident than when we last spoke.
-I am. I'm really feeling pretty good. I have a much stronger sense of how far I've come.
-As long as you keep remembering why.
-Well, we talked about the whole disapproval thing.
-The whole disapproval thing. If you allow yourself to get into a situation where someone else's potential disapproval becomes the focal point of your life -- then you're back to a life of fear, aren't you? -- You're a prisoner to that again, and that isn't much of a life.
-I understand that.
-And please, don't for God's sake misinterpret that as being the voice of discouragement in any way --
-No, no, no, no.
-On the contrary -- this is tremendous. I mean, we're all frightened to death of disapproval and we're constantly hiding behind these layers we manufacture for ourselves -- and I'm not saying we should, you know, <u>declare</u> ourselves unhesitatingly to our fellow human beings in the interests of total openness and honesty --
-That would be stupid.
-That would be monumentally stupid. All I'm saying is --
--- a sense of proportion.
-Things are beginning to come to a head. I can feel it. And I want everything to be perfect.
-Who doesn't?
-I've cultivated her interests so that now we have even more in common than ever.
-Well, now, don't go creating some artificial environment for yourself.
-Oh no -- I mean, she's genuinely made me more fulfilled in many ways -- and I hope eventually to be able to teach her a few things, too. What I mean is, I guess I'm still waiting for just that right -- synthesis between us -- where everything will be understood between us without even the need for words.
-It's not going to happen unless you make it happen, my friend. You're going to have to assert yourself a little bit more. <u>Show</u> your affection.
-Yeah, maybe you're right. Everything else is just an excuse. I'm treating the situation with kid gloves because I'm afraid of losing her.
-<u>Ask</u> her how she feels.
-I should.
-You have to put yourself out there a bit more.
-Right.
-Well, these are good signs -- she's broken up with him and the two of you seem to be developing quite a rapport.
-I <u>know</u>. I just feel that the relationship has reached that delicate stage where the slightest little thing could wreck the careful groundwork I've laid up till now.
-I can't help you if you don't help yourself. It's really up to you. Brooding endlessly isn't going to help matters any.
-There's so much I want to say to her, it's all jumbled up in my mind, and I don't want her to misunderstand --
-Oh, well, do you fix refrigerators?
-Sure.
-Well, can I make an appointment?
-Oh, great.
-Yeah, that was easy.
-Do you do washing machines, too?
-Everything breaks at once.
-Isn't that always the way?
-So, you're just kind of a roving --
--- General handyman, yeah. I do carpentry, too, painting, almost any odd job around the house. I do housesitting while the owners are away. In fact, that's why I've been in the area. I've been living very close by. Here's the part that's giving you trouble, but I won't be able to get a replacement till the stores open tomorrow morning.
-I apologize for that scene with my husband. You must have overheard.
-An occupational hazard, I'm afraid.
-I bet. Going into people's homes.
-Do you have a family?
-Uh, no -- I've never really found the time to settle down.
-You must value your independence.
-Yeah, I've always been able to make my way in the world. I don't like having to rely on other people.
-It's nice that you can make that choice.
-I was alone a lot as a child. No one to compete with. My parents ensured that I found happiness in the smallest things. When you're all alone it's your own world, you don't have to take orders from anybody. You don't necessarily believe the stories people tell you.
-Not me, I fell for it right down the line. Be a good girl and believe all the fairy tales. He married me because I was pretty.
-I was driving by -- I saw all the cars. Are you all right?
-Yeah, I'm okay -- it's been a long night.
-What happened?
-I was thinking about our conversation the other day -- what you said about choices.
-Uh huh.
-Yeah, you know, that in life you really have to choose what you want to do.
-Listen, I'm sorry, but it's really late -- you don't have to come tomorrow to work on the floor.
-Yeah, right -- I really have to go to bed.
-About what?
-About us.
-I found a cent!
-'"... or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!" And inside their new house, the three little pigs just laughed -- '
-Hey. Have a nice time -- it's a good school.
-Baby, what is it?
-I'm thirsty.
-It's the middle of the night, sweetie.
-A man scared me.
-A man? Was it a dream?
-Your daddy and I are kind of mad at each other right now, so we have to spend some time apart.
-Why are you mad at each other?
-You know how sometimes Neil bugs you and you just get up and walk away from him?
-Uh huh.
-Well, that's what happens with grownups, too.
-Did Daddy tease you?
-Daddy's gone where Rudolf went and isn't coming back!
-"Hi. I'm Mr. Edgar!" Look, Mommy, it doesn't even hurt him.
-Mommy!
-You've done a really great job with the house. It's great!
-Yeah. There's still a lot I want to do. It's not quite... the kids aren't really settled in yet. Even the dog has been terribly high-strung and whines a lot since we've been here. Look, he hasn't even come in for his food today.
-So you don't have anything concrete?
-No, I told you. A whiff of perfume on his shirt.
-Have you just plain asked him?
-I've asked him what's wrong.
-And?
-The same thing -- his business pressures, the whole move and everything. He's frantic about nailing this new job, worried about screwing over his present boss.
-I'm sure that's all it is, honey. Maybe you both just need a vacation.
-I've tried to get him to agree to one. I just -- I don't know... I'm getting such weird vibes lately.
-Rita, he's only twelve years old,
-C'mon, kids, let's go.
-Why can't you just drive me to my old school every morning?
-Because you'd have to get up at five a.m., would you like that?
-I could take a cab on the way home.
-Here, take this out to the table.
-Has anyone seen Rudolf? I don't think he came in last night.
-No, honey, I haven't seen him. Didn't you feed him this morning?
-He doesn't have a temperature.
-Thank God.
-I think we got it just in time before the ink dried.
-Whew.
-The pocket's a cinch -- I'll sew it up for you after dinner, okay?
-Neil, you could have burned the house down!
-Where'd he go?
-Neil -- what --
-Mom, <u>there's somebody in the</u> <u>house</u>!
-Honey --
-Honey, do you want some hot chocolate?
-No, thanks, Mom -- I'll go up to bed now.
-Do you want me to come up and tuck you in?
-Neil, calm down.
-Neil, don't leave the back doors open -- I don't want Holly near the pool.
-I hear what you're saying, but I know what you're thinking.
-What?
-You're thinking exactly what I thought when I first saw this house,
-What's that?
-This -- is -- the -- one -- for -- us.
-Stop knowing me so well.
-I know it's at the high end of our range --
-High end? Honey, it's a whole new budget.
-But it's what we want.
-You wanted furniture too, didn't you?
-They don't expect to get what they're asking. Let's make an offer.
-You want me to bargain at the high end of our range? -- I'll have a stroke. I've got to save all my sweat for my meeting in three weeks.
-You could have a pool to cool off in.
-It's a nice pool, isn't it?
-And it's a shorter commute.
-What if someone else buys it in the meantime?
-We're going to think about it.
-How were we -- were we cool?
-Paul Newman in "The Hustler."
-<u>Now</u>, Neil. Stop teasing your sister.
-Did you hear that?
-What?
-Did you hear what he said?
-What?
-He made, you know, a remark.
-Honey, are you okay?
--- And keep my kids away from his property -- who the hell does he think he is? Some nice neighborhood.
-Honey, the meeting today is going to be fine. Don't get in an uproar.
-I know. It's just having to pass muster with these juniors before the senior partner even agrees to see me.
-How was lunch?
-Huh?
-How was your lunch with Charlie?
-Oh -- great.
-Well, did he hear anything about your prospects for the new job?
-Do you remember who gave us this?
-No.
-I hear things in this house,
-All new houses have noises.
-How long does it have to be a new house?
-One day before we know it it'll be an old house and we'll be old in it -- and I'll still be paying for it.
-Neil's still having a bad time at school. I feel terrible seeing him so upset all the time.
-I mean, he's a smart kid, he'll get by -- he takes after me. You're too sensitive.
-Yeah, I guess it would be good for us to get away for a while. Maybe Rudolf got the same idea. Dogs need a change of scene, too, from time to time.
-No, I'm not kidding you, <u>Philip</u>.
-I <u>remember</u> what day you wore that jacket. It was <u>Monday</u>. The day you were all day in <u>meetings</u> again? And had to send out for <u>sandwiches</u>?
-Honey, you know what I've been like lately... I've been a total zombie. I have no idea what that was doing in my pocket.
-Sweetheart, this is a very risky time for me right now. Maybe you don't appreciate that.
-I don't care, Philip. You want to go chasing Barbara Zelman, go ahead. Just watch out for those buck teeth.
-Barbara <u>Zelman</u>? I don't believe this!
-Do you usually pay for Charlie? At "Trattoria <u>Valentino</u>"?
-Honey, I can't track of all the meals Charlie and I have been having. This is a delicate time. If it leaks out that I'm jumping ship before I'm set up someplace else I could be out on my ear before I'm ready with nothing. With <u>nothing</u>.
-Who told you that -- someone on the radio?
-I thought we'd be happy here.
-The cab's waiting!
-Where should I hide the car keys?
-I don't know -- put 'em in the drawer with all the Chinese take- away menus.
-Did the cleaning woman come?
-The floor has a nice shine to it. Oh God -- we have twenty-two messages on the machine.
-He wants to see me!
-Philip! The senior partner?
-His secretary just confirmed.
-What -- what are you doing?
-I think you should feel like dancing at a time like this.
-Honey? How did it go? You didn't call me.
-He wasn't there.
-I get to the restaurant and he's not there. I waited for forty- five minutes. When I called his office, his secretary said they thought I had cancelled. I had cancelled! Then I get back to my office and <u>Aranson</u> is waiting for me and he knows <u>everything</u>.
-Oh, honey.
-Honey -- I can't find those large- size Hefty trash bags!
-Honey, it's not the end of the world. You'll call Lowenthal tomorrow and find out it was just a mix-up. And if he's not interested anymore, then you'll find another company to go to maybe even your own. You are free now, you are independent.
-I'm <u>fired</u>. I'm unemployed. Is that your idea of negotiating from a position of strength? Clearly any potential employers have been warned to back off!
-That's not the case.
-Boy, you really buckle under a little pressure, don't you?
-This is for the best, you know it is. Why do my socks keep disappearing!
-You're even sadder and more burnt- out than I thought.
-Who was that?
-I'm having the floor fixed,
-And what was that neighbor guy doing here?
-Philip, what are <u>you</u> doing here?
-I was having a bad day -- I lost that job, I was dependent on other people, I was let down --
-There's always an excuse, isn't there?
-I think it's time I came home now.
-What?
-No, Philip, I don't want you coming back here. And if you want to talk to me -- <u>call</u>.
-Oh God.
-Should I come home when I'm finished there?
-It's been on the market a while, hasn't it?
-Not very long. There have been a couple of bids already.
-Because it caught my eye when it was in a higher price bracket in the listings.
-Oh, yes, well, you know, when developers remodel a house they often overestimate their costs at first. It's not like it's been marked down or anything.
-Just reduced.
-Sometimes they prefer a quicker return on their investment.
-This is a terrific entrance hall, What a welcoming feeling.
-You'll see that there's really much more space than the average three bedroom.
-Oh, space! -- You said the right thing.
-How large is your brood?
-Two -- three if you count the husband.
-God, your sister's really hot.
-Let's follow 'em.
-What for, dickweed?
-It's fun.
-Shit!
-Are we gonna buy this house?
-Dad, we can't decide unless Rudolf gets to look too!
-Okay! We have TV! We can all get stupid again!
-What about cable?
-We'll get cable when the cable company is good and ready -- you think you can survive till then?
-All right, who ate the last piece of cheesecake?
-Neil, do you mind?
-All right then, if I have to go to school then I'd better go.
-Why? I just read your report card. What's the point? Stay home, watch some television, we'll get "Mad" magazine delivered. What kind of report card do you call this?!
-I've been going through a lot of personal crap, all right?
-If you want that baseball jacket for your birthday, Neil, learn to cough a little more realistically.
-I have a cold.
-What did the thermometer say?
-Y'know what? I'm ready to cancel our trip. I really am. I've had it.
-And I can't help having a cold.
-Hiya, sport. Where'd you come from, huh?
-A <u>man</u> started the fire.
-You knew a second ago. <u>Who</u> started it?
-Do you see a man?
-No.
-I thought I was supposed to stay in my room.
-And this -- is the master bedroom.
-Oh yeah? Where's the bed?
-Is it a king or a queen?
-It's a double.
-Even better.
-Even cosier.
-That's right -- you got the bill this morning. I put it on your desk.
-Promise?
-I'd like that.
-Would you?
-Really?
-What the hell. What is this? A joke?
-No joke, Lieutenant.
-Where's the guy we saw in the beginning -- what's his name...?
-Parker. We found him knocked out in the can.
-Hey, I don't have answers for this. I just brought you down here because of the sword.
-Am I supposed to believe that this guy got shot in the chest six times at point blank range and just got up and walked out?
-Lieutenant Bedsoe?
-Lieutenant?
-What? Who are you? What do you want?
-My name is Jennifer Hillman. I'm an archaeologist. I read in the paper about the murder yesterday and I thought I should come talk to you.
-What do you think?
-They appear to be authentic.
-Why are people walking around New York with swords, dressed in mid evil clothing?
-You didn't see this. Understand?
-Did you find a sword? An old sword?
-Hey Lieutenant, the boys in robbery have something I think you should look at.
-What is it?
-A tape from the surveillance camera at the First National Bank. It was robbed this morning.
-Really? I want to make sure that I understand what you're telling me, Greley. A crime was committed in New York City? That is news.
-That's not all, Lieutenant. Wait until you see the tape. It's unbelievable.
-Good -- also, give it to the papers and TV.
-Y'know, the guys in robbery are gonna get kind of upset. We're stepping on their toes of this one.
-Tough.
-It's not a homicide, Lieutenant.
-This ties in with Nash.
-We don't have any proof of that.
-Anything from the bank?
-We sent the prints we lifted from the counter at the bank to the State computers, the FBI and interpol. Nothing.
-He had to come from somewhere.
-I think it was England.
-I asked the State Department to check with our Embassies and Interpol to see if there were any similar occurrences like the bank. Two weeks ago in London Charles Redder from the Bronx was mugged in Hyde Park.
-I'm in the middle of an interrogation, Captain.
-Interrogation's over, Bedsoe.
-What?
-Cut him loose. The D.A. says you ain't got shit on this guy.
-You don't understand. About seven years ago we found the body of a guy named Vasilnic in Jersey. A week later in the parking lot of Madison Square Garden we found Iman Fasil. Three days after that Luman Castageer was found in an alley. The fourth body we've never been able to identify. All four men died from decapitation. Nash was our primary suspect
-For Chrissake! Gimme a break. The guy disappears for seven years and as soon as he comes back it starts again.
-Detective Bedsoe.
-Lieutenant.
-When did you get back?
-A few days ago.
-Where were you last night around nine?
-I already told you. I took a walk.
-Tell me again. Where'd you go?
-Central Park.
-Doesn't it scare you walk through the park at night?
-No. I don't scare easy.
-Where have you been for the last seven years?
-Around.
-She was a good woman.
-You didn't bring me here to talk about her.
-I brought you here to talk about him. Do you know him?
-No.
-You sure?
-I'm gonna nail you, Nash. That's a promise.
-No. I'm telling you right now, the next person's head that comes off is gonna be yours.
-Lieutenant, you're really frightening me.
-Good evening, Lieutenant.
-No -- it isn't. A cop died today and the other is barely holding on. I want some answers, Nash.
-I'm sorry about that -- but I had nothing to do with it.
-That doesn't mean you don't know what's going on. You're connected to this guy somehow. He's after you -- just like the others were.
-Seven years ago I interviewed a guy. He said he saw two men fighting in an alley with swords. One cut off the others head. He shot the surviving guy twenty times and he got right back up and stabbed him.
-Most people would show some sign of fear with a gun in their face.
-Yes -- I think it is.
-You'll have no need for that, Highlander.
-Since we hardly know each other, I'm sure you'll understand if I hold one to it for awhile.
-I know that weapon. It belonged to Juan Romeriz. He's dead?
-You?
-No. He was my brother. He died at anothers hand.
-We too are brothers, Macleod. In fact, you have more family than you think.
-Who are you?
-Thomas Cavenaugh. I am a teacher of sorts. Like Romeriz I help those newly acquainted with our life.
-I learned my fill from Romeriz.
-The prize? So much blood so that in the end the one that remains will be mortal again. So much pain so that the winner can grow old and have children. The prize hardly seems worth the cost of it.
-There will be more to the prize than that. Power will come with it -- and it must be used for good.
-The days of magic are ending. The world is changing.
-You cannot run from your destiny, Conner.
-Must you do that?
-What?
-Sing.
-It is a beautiful day. I am merely enjoying it.
-Can't you enjoy it quietly?
-Are you always this pleasant? You know what you're problem is?
-Life. You've stopped living it. You look, but you do not see. You listen but, you do not hear.
-I hear you.
-The river.
-That's all?
-Do you not hear the wind in the trees? The songs of the birds. The horses breath? There is a whole world around you. Alive. Living. Feel it -- become part of it. Live your life, Highlander. It's going to be a long one.
-That is what bothers me.
-I'm leaving.
-Leaving what?
-England. There is nothing for me here anymore.
-And what do you think you will find in another land?
-Maybe myself.
-Thank you, Thomas.
-For being a friend when I needed one. I hope our paths cross again.
-I'm sure they will.
-As friends -- always as friends.
-We cannot write our destiny, Macleod. In the end it could be you and me.
-That is a thought that doesn't please me.
-If it came down to it what would you do?
-You're looking a wee bit green, Thomas.
-The sea and I don't agree with each other. Where we off to?
-France.
-How long is the voyage?
-Not long. We should arrive in the morning. Are you going to be alright?
-What are we doing here?
-Living. Remember?
-To ask her to dance.
-She's the King's cousin.
-Yes.
-What worries you?
-You've been seeing her for over a month now. Have you learned nothing from the past?
-I've learned that a man can only go so along living alone.
-That was two hundred and fifty years ago -- and the pain still scars your heart. Would you live that pain again?
-No. What am I to do?
-Well?
-I'll go first.
-No -- I will.
-I stood up first.
-That doesn't matter.
-You can go first.
-It will be a good harvest this year.
-Can you really tell from doing that?
-What do you think?
-I think my Sarah fancies you, Conner.
-She's a treasure she is.
-Your words are kind and they flatter me -- but I think of her as a sister. Besides, you hardly know me.
-This cannot be.
-It is. Do not ask me how. I do not know. I must leave, for if I stayed others would surely hear of this and worse than they will come.
-Agreed.
-I would like to say goodbye.
-How comes it your are not afraid?
-I've come to strike a bargain with you. I wish to learn the power of changing.
-And what would'st I gain from this bargain?
-Your life.
-We had a bargain. You promised.
-Aye?
-Where do you go when your mind drifts?
-Different places.
-The past?
-Sometimes.
-Why is it you never talk to me about Scotland -- your life there.
-I cannot stay.
-Why not?
-Leaving? For how long?
-Why?
-I cannot explain.
-Do you love me, Conner?
-Aye.
-Then take me with you.
-Where I'm going you cannot follow.
-Why are you doing this?
-Electro magnetic soundings indicate we've only got a few inches of rock left before we reach the main chamber.
-Any idea how big the cavern is on the other side?
-Huge.
-You guys are from the British museum, right?
-No -- we're from Strange facts and mysteries. It's a syndicated show out of..
-My name is Jennifer Hillman. I was at the police station earlier today--
-I remember you.
-I was wondering if I could talk to you?
-Are you a cop?
-No. I'm an archaeologist.
-What do you want?
-To talk to you.
-Corpses?
-Yes. We found another man outside a site we were working at in Scotland.
-Yes. How did you know?
-A lucky guess.
-I don't think so -- but then, maybe you've can guess how a guy with a sword could rob the First national Bank this afternoon -- and get shot six times in the chest by the guard and still get up and walk out?
-He was wearing a bullet proof vest.
-Bullet proof vests don't bleed.
-You got me.
-Why do I feel that you know what's going on?
-Are you the type of person who takes advice, Miss Hillman?
-If it's good advice.
-This is. Go home. Stay out of this.
-Where did you get it?
-You're hurt.
-I'll be fine.
-What's going on? Why did he call you Macleod?
-Because it's my name.
-Then who's Russell Nash?
-You are a very persistent woman, Miss Hillman.
-Why do you stare at me like that?
-I don't have any answers for you.
-Who was that man last night?
-I don't know.
-Do you always walk around with a sword?
-New York is dangerous place.
-You talk to me -- but you don't answer my questions. I guess I'll have to talk to Lieutenant Bedsoe.
-About what?
-It probably wouldn't interest you. It's something I read in a mythology book.
-I'm interested in mythology.
-No.
-Yes.
-Meet me Tratino's at nine.
-Why?
-Good evening.
-You're twenty minutes late.
-You didn't answer my question.
-You have an interesting accent. Where are you from?
-I'm just trying to place you.
-You're not an easy person to get to know.
-Why? Because I don't give up all my secrets?
-How come you wanted to meet tonight?
-That makes you uncomfortable?
-A little -- yes. My interest in coming here is profession.
-Is it?
-Yes -- it is.
-Alright. In the shop you mentioned something about--
---the Calan. Do you know who they are?
-Have you told Lieutenant Bedsoe your theory?
-No.
-Why not?
-Because I don't feel like sitting in a rubber room for forty-eight hours.
-Let me ask you something else. At the excavation site in Scotland, the tunnel leading into the cavern had collapsed. The day we found the body someone had moved the rocks, making a hole in the collapsed section. What bothers me is that we found the rocks from the hole on our side of the tunnel wall.
-So?
-Why would someone pull on the rocks to get in the cavern? They were wedged in tight. They couldn't get a grip on them. They would have had much more strength pushing on them.
-If they pushed the rocks you would have found them on the other side of the cavern wall.
-That would mean they'd been trapped in there--
---for three hundred years.
-How could that be? People don't live for three hundred years.
-Would you like to see it?
-I've seen it.
-On the back it has--
---the crest of a lion and a dragon and a single word: Courage.
-It came from your great, great, great grandmother, Isabelle Tourez, who lived in Paris and died on the guillotine in 1789 -- alone -- and unmarried. The ring was given to her by someone who loved her -- but knew that it could never be.
-You wanted the truth -- now you have it.
-And the other one -- he is like you?
-Where will you go now?
-It will end tonight.
-Must you fight him?
-He's in there!
-Be careful, Conner.
-What now?
-Now I can start to live. To feel. To grow old and live each day without the promise of another.
-Just a little. Who knows what we're going to find in there. It could be a huge excavation. A little friendly PR never hurt.
-Where is the film crew from the British Museum?
-They've had a little car trouble. I'm afraid they won't be here until after dark.
-We're holding the workers down below.
-Why?
-Someone broke into the cavern last night.
-He's fine. He swears he never left his post for a moment. He heard a noise and when he went back to look they were already inside.
-How could they get by him?
-We found him this morning.
-What's that next to him?
-Incredible. The cloth -- the buttons -- it looks to be mid sixteen hundreds. It's a remarkable duplication.
-I don't think it is a duplication.
-It has to be.
-You stayed here again last night?
-I was working on the cataloging.
-Jennifer, there is more to life than work.
-Do you? Then why don't you go out? Meet someone. Make a life for yourself instead of hiding away in the past?
-I like my work.
-I'm having some people over tonight for dinner -- I'd like you come.
-It flatters me you remember, old one. It's been what... two hundred years?
-Impressive -- is it not? The problem is I can only keep the illusion for a few minutes. I need more power to hold the form longer. I need the Highlander. Where is he?
-I do not know -- and even if I did...
-Oh -- I almost forgot. Your head.
-It does not come off as easily as the young ones.
-Highlander -- I had hoped it would be you.
-I am stronger than you, Highlander.
-That's what the Kurgan said.
-Fine -- I've waited over three centuries. I can wait a little longer.
-Why did you wait?
-It was not by choice. A small matter of a mountain falling down on us. We were trapped inside. When the time of the Gathering came the urge to go was so strong we tried to claw through rock with our bare hands. What you thought was the end -- was not. This is the end. We are the last of our kind, Macleod.
-It will not end tonight.
-You know it's not safe here for you.
-I know.
-The police still have a lot of questions for Russell Nash.
-It isn't over, is it, Conner?
-No.
-How can that be?
-Is there anything else you need?
-I'm glad you've come home, Conner.
-Would you care for some water, Conner?
-Don't leave us, Conner.
-Don't cry, wee one. It's a better place I go to.
-I love you, Conner.
-Aye -- I know, Las -- and I have never loved anyone more.
-I'll no forget you.
-You kept it?
-What are you doing?
-I shouldn't have come back here. It was a mistake.
-Is it a mistake for someone to go to the ones who love them when they're in trouble?
-Yes -- when their troubles can harm them.
-I heard voices downstairs. Is everything alright?
-Fine.
-What will you do?
-I could have ended it tonight, but I didn't.
-Why?
-I don't know. He is the stronger one. He has a power--
-Do not underestimate the power of your heart. Your dreams live there.
-My dreams died long ago.
-Did they? You are only a man, different than most -- but still a man. You feel the same -- want the same. You want to live.
-I haven't lived life -- I've hidden from it. I've existed in the shadows.
-Dear, sweet, Rachel. Men's lifes are measured by the good they do.
-Good afternoon, Mr. Parker.
-Good afternoon... ... Shirley.
-Would you like to deposit this in your account?
-No. The money, please.
-This check is for sixteen thousand dollars. That's a lot of cash to be carrying around.
-I can take care of myself.
-Mike! Mike, can you hear me?
-I think he's dead!
-The house belongs to Walter and Pamela Smith. They've got two kids, a girl about fifteen and a boy younger, Jennifer and Thomas.
-That would be the girl who opened the door. Are the others inside?
-Call the Palmdale City Attorney for a telephonic search warrant. When you get the warrant, have Mikkelson and Dreyer search his house.
-Wow. Sure, right away, Chief.
-Don't tell anyone what you're doing, not Louise, not the other guys, not the Sheriffs. You understand me, Larry?
-I guess so.
-Fuck guessing. You keep your mouth shut.
-I will, Chief. Absolutely.
-Talley.
-What'd you find out?
-The cell phone is registered to a jewelry store in Beverly Hills. The phone company shows no unusual --
-Dead end--it's a clone. What about the Mustang?
-You get anything on Smith?
-Chief...it's like none of this exists. I'm sorry.
-The house is in flames, Benza's accountant is with the cops, and they're stacking the bodies like cordwood.
-Jesus Christ, it's a clusterfuck.
-And by doing so, he would've known we have spies in his organization.
-Yes, sir. But what about the disks? If the cops end up with the disks, we're gonna see a whole lot of heat.
-I hate that Mickey Mouse bastard. I hated his father, and I hate Sonny, too. Always with the tan.
-What do you want to do?
-Our people out there, they good people? People in the right place?
-The best.
-Sonny's a fuckup. If he pulls this off, fine--life goes on. But if the cops end up with those disks, we cut our losses.
-I understand.
-I want a message sent: No fuckups allowed.
-Worst case, it's a bloodbath. The detectives come out with Smith's computer, and we go directly to jail, do not pass Go.
-Maybe Glen already picked up the disks.
-You should warn them, Sonny.
-Put our people on the scene. Smith might talk just to cut a break for his kids.
-He knows better than that.
-Find out how we can hurt him. By the end of the day, I want to own him.
-Maybe we're getting too dramatic. It's three kids. They'll give up, the cops will arrest them, and that's that. Why would they search the house?
-You think we should take that chance?
-I guess not.
-What, he's cute? That's his idea of humor?
-If the Feds get those disks, the East Coast is gonna take a hit, too. You should let them know.
-Jen? Are you all right?
-Who sent you?
-The car. All you want is the car?
-Stay down! Stay <u>down</u>, goddamnit!
-I'm going to my desk.
-<u>Get on the floor</u>!
-Mars, watch the cops! Kevin! Watch the back of the house!
-You won't die if you let me help.
-Bullshit!
-But if you stay in this house, I can promise you this --
-<u>Shut up! Shut up and get on the floor</u>!
-C'mon, Dennis, this is stupid. I thought we were gonna go to the movies.
-Try to act cool, okay? He's gonna think you're a dick.
-Robbing this place is gonna put you back in prison.
-Not if they don't catch us, Kevin.
-We got jobs, man; we're working. Why even take the chance?
-There's fuckin' blood all over you!
-That woman's gonna call the cops.
-Shut up, goddamnit! Just calm down!
-That's why we gotta keep going. I'm not gonna go in for murder.
-We're on foot. We can't get away.
-We could've gone out the back! You didn't have to shoot!
-Stop it! They found the truck, Kev! They're already behind us!
-I have to tell you something --
-We gotta find a way outta here is what we gotta do!
-That cop didn't pull his gun. Mars lied. He just started shooting!
-Bullshit. Why would Mars do that?
-I was <u>there</u>, Dennis! I <u>saw</u>! It's like he <u>wanted</u> to shoot that cop.
-Jesus. What is this?
-Everyone knows what we look like, Dennis. We won't be able to hide.
-Someone should stay with Mr. Smith. What if he wakes up?
-These bushes follow the wall into the neighbor's yard. All we need is some kind of diversion and we're home free.
-That's crazy, Dennis. The cops will see us.
-Not if they're looking at something else.
-We can't carry all this. It's too heavy.
-We're fucked.
-We're fucked until we think of a way out; then we're rich.
-There is no way out.
-For chrissake, <u>please</u>! Help me celebrate! I figured it out!
-If we don't escape, we gotta get the word out about the cash. That's how we'll stay alive.
-What are you talking about?
-The only way he can keep the cash is if nobody knows about it. He's gotta cap all three of us before they even read our rights. He's probably planning it right now.
-That's crazy. He's not going to kill us.
-It's over. We have to give up.
-Fuck it's over. That money's mine.
-Then we might as well die rich.
-You with the cops?
-Yeah. I'm Rooney.
-We're cool.
-Let me speak to Mr. Smith. I want to hear it from him.
-Fuck you. I'm running this shit. You talk to me.
-How about your two friends? You don't have a man dying in there, do you?
-All three subjects are confirmed inside. Call off the house-to-house. Okay, Dennis, I want to explain your situation --
-You don't have to explain shit! That Chinaman pulled a gun. We wrestled for it. That Chinaman shot himself.
-Mr. Kim didn't make it, Dennis. He died.
-How about the cop?
-Dennis? I want you to release those people.
-Fuck that. They're the only thing stopping you from blowing us away.
-We're not coming in there by force, okay? No one wants to hurt you.
-It's over now, Dennis! Don't hurt anyone.
-Talley?
-I'm here.
-I want a helicopter to take us to Mexico.
-That's not going to happen, Dennis. They won't give you a helicopter.
-I'll give you these people.
-Hey, Dennis? Can I let you in on a personal secret?
-What?
-You're a funny guy, Talley.
-That you, Talley?
-The one and only. We got a little problem out here, Dennis.
-You oughta try on the problem I got in here.
-We been through that. Forget it.
-Now I understand. That helps. I can make them understand that.
-Okay.
-Let me come get him.
-Fuck that! You bastards will jump me!
-If you won't let me come in, then put him outside.
-You'll cap my ass as soon as I step out the door!
-You got a sniper out there, gonna shoot me?
-You've been in there a long time. What're you waiting for?
-Would you be in a hurry to go to prison for the rest of your life?
-I'd be trying to get the best deal that I could.
-You picked a bad house to hole up in, son.
-Two hundred thousand cash, right in your pocket, no one needs to know.
-Give up.
-It ain't been a good day, Chief.
-Who else is here?
-He needs a doctor.
-My father needs a doctor. <u>Please</u>.
-Hey, I've got a situation here, in case you haven't noticed.
-All you're doing is watching yourself on TV. <u>Look</u> at him.
-Use more ice.
-What about my father?
-Aw, Jesus, not more of this.
-<u>Look</u> at him! I think he's dying!
-It's a safety room. If anyone breaks into your house, you can hide.
-Who gives a shit, Mars? Check out the cash! We're rich.
-We can take it with us.
-That's right. That's a good idea, Mars.
-Find something: Extension cords, rope, wire--we'll have to tie them tight.
-The cops are comin'!
-I got the gasoline --
-What the fuck is that?
-Cops want to be rich like everyone else. All we have to do is share. And if he wants someone to swing for the Chinaman, we'll give'm Mars.
-You got something to say?
-I like it here, Dennis. I'm never going to leave.
-You mean he <u>left</u>, as in went out the front door?
-I overheard him with the girl.
-<u>Shit</u>! That <u>fuck</u>! Even when I want to turn myself in he screws it up! Did he take the kids with him?
-I don't know.
-Can you identify this man?
-That would be Mars Krupchek. Jesus, he works for me, too.
-Is Krupchek an aggressive guy? Hot- tempered? Anything like that?
-Keeps to himself, more like.
-You have his address?
-Talley lives here. I don't know if the place has security or not.
-It won't be a problem.
-He has a wife and kid. That's how we'll get to him.
-Okey-doke.
-Donuts here any good?
-Are you out of your mind?
-L.A. County Sheriffs are inbound from a bank robbery in Pico Rivera.
-Give me an ETA.
-What if it goes south?
-What do you mean?
-If things get wet, we're going to need someone who can handle that end.
-I heard he's fucked up. They're taking him to the hospital.
-Goddamnit, tell me what you <u>know</u>. Did the cops go in? Did Smith have the disks?
-<u>I don't know</u>. Talley talked those punks into letting Smith out. He's fucking us over, Glen. That guy is fucking us over.
-What hospital?
-How did you get this number?
-Mr. Jones is dead. So are two of his men. The other three are in jail. I have the disks. I have Walter Smith. And you know what, you motherfucker? I have you.
-I have your fucking family. Don't forget that.
-What do you want?
-My wife and my daughter and the money. I'll bring the disks to the mall by the freeway, you bring my family. We'll trade.
-Fuck that! You think I'm crazy?!
-Fuck the mall. You know that motel on the road west of town?
-Yeah.
-Take it easy. Just take it easy. We're here to do business.
-They're close. Let me make a call. You can see they're okay.
-You get the other one when I have my girls. Not <u>talk</u> to them; <u>have</u> them.
-Where is it?
-All right. Now the second one.
-I'll kill you! You won't get the other disk!
-I gave the other one to the Sheriffs and they're giving it to the <u>real</u> FBI. This one's a fake.
-I need to work out some stuff.
-You're hiding, Jeffrey. You're hiding from the job and you're hiding from me.
-Can we talk some more when you get here?
-I should've called. This thing broke right after we spoke, then everything happened so fast --
-Don't worry about it. How are you doing?
-The Sheriffs will take over when they get here.
-Why don't you guys grab some dinner at the Thai place? I'll meet you there as soon as I can.
-You sure?
-I don't know how long I'll be stuck here.
-I'm scared shitless.
-Ow! Shit!
-No one's coming.
-That big asshole nailed my windows.
-Mine, too.
-We can use the crawlspace to get downstairs. Then we can run for it.
-We can't carry him.
-You go, Thomas. You get out, and I'll stay with Daddy.
-I'm not gonna leave you!
-You leave that gun alone!
-Shh, they'll hear you!
-He can't reach us in here. We're safe.
-Want one?
-I don't drink beer.
-Mommy won't know. You can do anything you want right now. Mommy won't know.
-What do you want?
-What?
-Make the pizza. I want scrambled eggs and hot dogs on mine.
-Kevin left without you.
-You'd better get out of here! Kevin's coming back!
-Now we can do whatever we want.
-Please get away from me.
-You gotta pee?
-I don't see why you can't just lock me in. It's not like I can go anywhere.
-Thanks for the shirt.
-Whatever.
-Kevin, my father needs a doctor.
-He's just knocked out. I've been knocked out.
-What do you want?
-What happened?
-Do you want to go or not? I'm offering you a way out of here.
-I can't go without Thomas.
-All three of us will go, but we have to move fast. Mars and Dennis don't know I'm doing this.
-How can we get out?
-Dennis and Mars are in the den. I'll get your brother, then come back for you. We'll go down the stairs and out the front door, you understand?
-Are civilians inside?
-He said something about a girl --
-We have to cordon off the streets, then evacuate these houses.
-What are we going to do about Mike?
-What's going on?
-I'm the chief of police here. I have to talk to him.
-Smith! Wake up!
-I'm not going to wake him. I don't even know that I can.
-Just one question. Please.
-I'm Jeff Talley, the Bristo chief of police. So far as we know, your children are okay.
-Chief Talley is the one who got you out.
-That's enough.
-What are you talking about, shot? What happened?
-Three white males shot Junior. Mike followed them to York Estates --
-Where are they?
-That's not enough.
-What's that, Chief? Say again.
-Is something wrong with Jane?
-We have a boy on the line. He says he's Thomas Smith and he's calling from the house.
-It's a crank, Louise. C'mon, don't waste my time with that!
-One at a time! Clear the air! Louise? Talk to me. What do we have?
-Chief? Mike said a young girl answered the door.
-Did he say if she was shooting at him?
-He didn't say.
-I pulled Mickey and Dreyer off the minimart.
-Jesus Christ, Louise, we can't leave a crime scene like that. Put a unit out there.
-Louise?
-Go, Chief.
-Louise?
-Go, Chief.
-Call Jane for me. She's at the little Thai place.
-I know the one.
-Chief, base.
-Go.
-I couldn't find Jane. She wasn't at the restaurant.
-You have her cell number?
-She didn't answer.
-Did you find Jane and Mandy?
-Could you call me back on your phone? Right away.
-What's wrong with the radio?
-Other people can hear us. Just call. <u>Please</u>.
-I'm Talley. Who's in charge?
-Do it.
-Sounds like you know the job.
-I've done it once or twice. I blocked their phones to incoming calls, so you'll have to cut in a hard line to talk to him.
-Then get your men off the wall! You breach that house, we're gonna have a bloodbath! I <u>know</u> this guy, Captain -- I can talk to him.
-He says he has gasoline set to burn the place.
-Jesus. He must've siphoned it from the cars.
-If you go in, you can't use tear gas or flashbangs. The whole place would go up.
-Looks like you're bailing out at the right time.
-He says that his father's hurt.
-If we have a man dying in there, we'll have to go in.
-They have security cameras. Rooney would see you coming.
-Did the boy say that any of them are in immediate danger?
-No. He said that his father's unconscious; he didn't say he was dying.
-You want me to stick around, I could --
-Excuse me? <u>You</u> requested our help. You turned over command --
-I want to know what in hell you're doing.
-I'm looking for you. I need your tactical unit.
-I'm not stupid! You can't get out of here fast enough, then you take back command; you agree to wait on Smith, then you risk everything in a stupid stunt to get him out --
-Don't question me, Captain! This is <u>my</u> crime scene!
-Let it go, Captain.
-We're out two minutes, me and Dreyer.
-Mike found a red pickup abandoned on Flanders. You see it?
-It's right in front of us.
-Chief, Mikkelson.
-Go, Mickey.
-The truck is registered to Dennis James Rooney, white male, twenty-two. He has an Agua Dulce address.
-It's mine. Talley.
-Chief, it's Mikkelson.
-Mickey? Call the state Homicide Bureau. Don't touch anything, just sit back and wait.
-Okay, here's mine. My name is Special Agent Jones.
-Are all of you named Jones?
-In a few minutes the white phone is going to ring. So let's get our shit straight before that happens.
-You used to be a cop. All of you used to be cops. I can tell by the way you move.
-Don't worry about what we used to be.
-How do you people expect this to work? The Sheriffs have a Crisis Response Team here.
-What's my name?
-What?
-I asked you my name. You just saw my commission slip. What's my fucking name?
-Special Agent Jones.
-What are you people going to do?
-You and I are gonna straighten this out with the Sheriffs, and then we'll wait for the man to call. When he gives the word, we move.
-We've got to get those kids out of there!
-Not until the man calls.
-Those kids are in there with a fucking psychopath! He <u>kills</u> people!
-The kids are in here!
-Where's the office?
-This is Chief Talley. Tell me your name, son.
-Slow down, Thomas. Take it easy and talk to me. Was your father shot?
-Dennis hit him. His head's all big and he won't wake up. I'm really scared.
-How about you and your sister?
-We're okay.
-Where are you right now?
-That's on the second floor. Could you climb out your window if we were downstairs to catch you?
-I've got the boy on the phone. He's using a cell phone. What was that, son? I didn't hear you.
-Is my daddy okay?
-The doctors are taking care of him right now. Thomas . . . are you safe? Can you talk?
-I think so.
-I need your help with something. But if you think those guys could catch you, then I don't want you to do it, okay?
-Okay.
-I'm serious, Thomas; I don't want you to get hurt.
-What do you want me to do?
-Your dad has two computer disks. They have funny names: Marlon and Al.
-He has lots of disks.
-I think he was working on them today, so they're probably in his office. Could you find them and see who they belong to?
-But I might be able to sneak into the office if they're not around. Then I could open the disks here in my room.
-I thought they locked you in your room.
-I can get into the crawlspace from my closet and climb all over the house.
-Can you get into the office?
-If I get Rooney into the back of the house, can you find the disks without being caught?
-Can you open them?
-I opened Marlon. I think it's somebody's taxes.
-I don't see any people names. It's all businesses.
-Yeah! Here's a name. This is somebody's personal tax --
-Who is it?
-Are the disks still in your room?
-Where are my children?
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-Did you find the disks?
-Yes.
-Then you have everything. You can put them away.
-A man has my family. Gold watch here. Dark tan.
-That would be Glen Howell. He was on his way for the disks.
-Where's your gun?
-Who are you?
-Don't just fuckin' sit there, dumbass. Do you understand?
-What do you want?
-Can we let go? You past your shock and all that, we can turn you loose and you won't do something stupid?
-Marlon and Al....
-We want them. You will not let anyone go into that house--or anything come out-- until my people recover these disks.
-I can't control what happens. The Sheriffs are running the scene.
-When this phone rings, you answer. It will be me. I'll tell you what to do. When I have what I want, you get your family.
-You want . . . Marlon and Al.
-I have people in York Estates right under your nose. If you do <u>anything</u> except what I'm telling you, you'll get Jane and Amanda back in the mail. We clear on that?
-These disks . . . where are they?
-You dumb fuckwad cop, you fucked up <u>bad</u>!
-Do you think I'm going to let you <u>murder</u> someone?!
-<u>You want a blowtorch on your daughter's</u> <u>pretty face</u>?!
-I guess we each have something the other wants.
-I guess we do.
-My people are good to go. You know who I mean?
-Your phony FBI assholes.
-We're almost home, you and me. Keep your shit together. This isn't L.A.
-What do you mean by that?
-Paul, Paul, a moment please.
-Yes, Benedict, what can I do?
-Can you get me into the Ambassador's reception?
-What happened?
-Paul, we would like to speak to you in your office.
-We, who is we?
-Paul!
-Gregoire, there are no cockroaches in this hotel, do you understand?
-No, Bik, it's a code word for Tutsis.
-That's what I came to talk to you about.
-Excuse me?
-The Hutu-Tutsi thing. The BBC faxed to say they would be here on the sixth for the peace accords. And the U.N. wants the banquet room for that day, a reception to broadcast the signing ceremony. Can you organize monitors and check the satellite dish?
-Also, could you remember to use the service entrance at all times?
-Paul... ...I have to talk to you.
-Who are you?
-I am Paul Rusesabagina, a good friend of General Bizimungu.
-What is this about?
-You heard the Tutsi cockroaches murdered our president.
-Yes, it is a calamity for us all.
-You work at the Hotel Diplomat?
-I used to work at the Diplomat.
-Do you know how to open the safe there? Our government needs to use the hotel and the room keys are in the safe. You must open it.
-Captain, I must take my family. It is not safe here.
-They are all Tutsi cockroaches.
-Please, I don't use guns.
-You want to pay me?
-Why not? These are not rebels, look at them. Soon they will be worthless to you. Why not take some money, for your work?
-How much?
-Name a price.
-Ten thousand francs for each one.
-Here, here, a thousand US dollars - fifty thousand francs for my family. To let us drive off to the Mille Collines.
-How many in your family?
-Ten.
-And four children?
-Give me it.
-I don't have it here. At the Mille Collines. I can get it for you.
-You will run into the hotel and hide behind the U.N.
-Don't be foolish. There's more money to be made here.
-Do we know who fired the missile that killed the president?
-No. But I fear it's intention may have been to kill the peace accords and spark a civil war between the Hutu Militia and the Tutsi rebels.
-We've heard reports of reprisal killings. Will the UN intervene to stop the bloodshed.?
-Unfortunately we're here as peace-keepers not peace makers, we can't take an aggressive role.
-If the UN changes your mandate could you stop the bloodshed?
-Yes. With some re-inforcements I'm confident we could impose order.
-Have you requested re-enforcements?
-Yes we have.
-What was the response?
-Paul, you know who this is?
-Yes, Colonel Monsieur Xavier, the Minister of Finance.
-Paul, I've sent my soldiers to rescue the Lady Prime Minister, she'll need a room.
-Yes sir, but these people they cannot stay here. I've heard you have a refugee center at the airport Stadium?
-Hold the line here. Do not shoot! The Colonel stabilizes the situation, his men watch the militia drive by. Paul approaches Oliver
-What's happening?
-They murdered my soldiers. Ten Belgians who I sent to get the lady minister.
-Anything. Strong.
-Congratulations, Colonel. You have saved us all.
-Congratulations. You should spit in my face.
-Excuse me, Colonel.
-We think you are dirt, less than dirt, worthless.
-I don't understand.
-You're fucking black! You're not even a nigger, you're African! They're not staying to stop this thing. They're gonna fly right out of here with their people.
-Their people?
-They fired a rocket at us.
-Yes. Where are the Rwandan police?
-I ran out of bribes. Bizimungu took them away.
-That explains it. I'm sorry to tell you this but we've heard rumors the Militia are getting ready to storm the hotel.
-Will you protect us.
-What is it?
-Paul, I need you to buy me a day or two. I don't have the fuel for this convoy. I will have to scrounge it.
-I can't. I have nothing left to bribe with. Can your men at the gate hold out for another day?
-No, Paul, they're afraid. They've demanded to be moved back to headquarters now.
-Give me their uniforms. I will put people at the gate, in disguise.
-Paul, this scotch is exceptional.
-It's a single malt, Glenmorangie. I thought you'd like it. Anything you need, gentlemen, let me know.
-I'm sorry it is not Glenmorangie.
-As long as it is scotch. Your white friends have abandoned you, Paul.
-The United Nations are still here.
-The United Nations. Madmen are on the streets, Paul. But I will take care of you. Your cellar is well-stocked, right?
-Yes, General. I am glad you came by. I overheard something that I think you should know about.
-What did you overhear?
-A discussion between an American Embassy official and a UN Colonel.
-What did they say?
-The American assured the colonel that they would watch everything.
-Satellites.
-Satellites?
-Yes, they can photograph the epaulets on your shoulder.
-And what will they do with these satellites?
-The American said intervention is too costly, better to get photographic evidence and snatch up the high command.
-The high command? Our high command?
-The Americans! Who are they to put us on trial. Let us imagine Paul when their president Kennedy was shot, they said it was a black man. Then their politicians, their radio stations gave orders ‘we must wipe out these black people before they wipe out us.’ What do you think would have happened? No different.
-I am worried about thieves and criminals coming into the hotel. Perhaps you could arrange for some police to guard us.
-The police are very busy.
-He did.
-“Well rewarded” Those were his words.
-If I were to spare a few policemen, where would I station them?
-I will see what I can do.
-I admire you, General. How do you keep command of your men amidst such madness?
-I am strong, Paul, like a lion.
-Please, General, I will give you money, whiskey.
-You said you had no whiskey.
-Where are my supplies?
-I'm sorry, General. The cellar is empty.
-You have cockroaches dancing on tables and you tell me the cellar is empty? Did they drink my whiskey?
-General, sir. I am glad to find you. I have found you some supplies.
-Whiskey?
-The finest, and cognac, champagne. Come and I will get them for you.
-I'll be over.
-We must go to the Diplomat.
-Get in.
-Your police are at the gate?
-Where are they going?
-They can go where they want. They are in charge now.
-What do you mean, General?
-We have decided to move the government to Gitarama.
-When?
-You know what the Scottish call it?
-No.
-Ishca Baha - the water of life. I went on a tour once of the finest single malt distillery in the world. Have you ever been to Scotland?
-No, sir.
-Wonderful country, wonderful golf. I wonder - will I ever go back? What do you think?
-Pack those carefully, put them in my jeep, and guard them.
-I am going to do you a great favor. I am going to take you with us to Gitarama.
-I do not want to go to Gitarama, General.
-We are better here.
-You are a marked man.
-How so.
-The Americans, and the UN they have you as a war criminal. You are on a list.
-I am on a list! What list?
-You lie.
-If you do not help me, you will stay on that list.
-I committed no war crimes.
-Who will tell them? You need me to tell how you helped the hotel. The others who have gone, they blame you for all their misfortune. They say you led the massacres.
-I led no massacres.
-You think they will believe you?
-You will tell them the truth.
-I will try my best George but these days I have no time for rallies or politics.
-Time is money, George. We need extra beer today.
-Business is good at the hotel?
-Very good.
-A bargain buy, from China. Ten cents each, I'll get a dollar.
-Everything is double the price now, you do understand that?
-I need rice, beans, beer, and your best whiskey.
-Beer yes, but no whiskey.
-You have no whiskey?
-What do you mean George?
-Their money is no good to them. Soon all the Ineysi will be dead.
-) You cannot kill them all.
-Let's go.
-For fuck's sake, Gloria There's a big news story out there! We need to get out and cover it.
-We’re not going outside the hotel grounds unless we have an armored car. That's the ground rules.
-Ground rules! Where the fuck do you think you are, Wimbledon?
-Satellite feed.
-Holy shit! Holy shit.
-You fucking see that!
-Here, have a sandwich.
-Let’s go, Jock.
-Go! What the fuck sort of journalists are we, running from a war? I'm ashamed. Are you? Well, are ya'?
-Great, I really need a shower.
-The fifth room is your broadcast room.
-Good. I'd like to book a massage.
-The news room has heard that the French and the Belgians are putting together an intervention force.
-When will they be here?
-Very soon.
-There are no more rooms.
-Mr. Manager.
-Get out of this room and get back to work.
-I don't have to listen to you anymore.
-I am in charge now. Get back to work or I'll fire you.
-Gregoire it is good to see you back to work.
-Please, except my humblest apologies...
-Where are we going, sir?
-For supplies, you drive.
-The fog is too heavy, sir.
-Are you sure this is the river road?
-Paul, how the hell are ya'?
-I am delighted to see you, Mr. Daglish.
-They moved you from the Diplomat?
-Promoted. House Manager.
-Did you bring any of those wee girls who used to sit at the bar in the Diplomat with you? You know?
-I'm sorry, Mr. Daglish, this is the Mille Collines. No working girls here.
-Can we phone them in, Paul?
-Perfect timing.
-Give her what she wants, room, food, anything. Charge it all. Don't you put her out, Paul.
-I would never do that.
-This is a Rolex, I can't take it.
-You are the manager?
-Yes, sir. What is wrong?
-Everyone must leave the hotel now.
-Why sir?
-It's an order. Get everyone out now.
-Anderson, Arthurs, Boulier. What is this?
-Are you trying to make a fool of me? There are no Europeans left in that hotel. Get me the names of all the cockroaches in there.
-That will take time.
-Who did you call?
-Call, sir?
-Don't lie to me. What's your name?
-Rusesabagina. Paul Rusesabagina.
-What do you want?
-We are to meet Mr. Rutagunda.
-The commander is not here.
-He will be here.
-Excuse me.
-What?
-Our cards, please.
-What cards?
-You have our cards.
-No. But I make cards. Would you like me to make you two cards?
-How much?
-Show us the manager. He wears a suit.
-Terrible times, Paul. There are bodies everywhere. I cannot stay here.
-I need you to go to this address and bring my brother-in-law and his family.
-No, no. This is a very dangerous part of town. I cannot do this.
-This would be an enormous favor to me. I am a man of means, Mr. Garandi. When this nonsense is over I will be most grateful.
-Was there blood?
-It is dangerous to be here. The radio says this is a nest of cockroaches.
-I need one last favor. Go back and get the twins.
-No, it is impossible. That side of town has been destroyed in the fighting. The children are dead.
-How do you know?
-Everyone is dead there. The dogs eat the bodies in the street. I have to go.
-I will need a suite.
-I'm afraid you will have to move room.
-Move? Where to?
-I'm going to put you on the third floor.
-The third floor are low class rooms.
-Yes they are. However if the army return they will expect important people such as yourself to be in these grand rooms.
-Pack the bags, we have to move.
-This time the Militia will kill us.
-They should go one truck at a time. When the first truck gets through to the airport, then the others will follow.
-Good evening, Odette, who is sick this time?
-I asked Odette to take a look at little Anais. She has a rash.
-Your brother's here?
-Thomas wants advice?
-He wants your wisdom.
-Let's have dinner first.
-Simon, next door, the Charingas' boy.
-Do something.
-What?
-Call your friends in the army. Call someone. Victor is harmless. This is a mistake.
-No.
-Why didn't you call your contacts in the army?
-I couldn't help.
-You could have asked for a favor.
-Victor was not a stranger, he was our neighbor.
-He was not family. Family is all that matters. Do you think if you or I were being dragged from here, any one of them would lift a finger to help us?
-They do not have your connections.
-Paul! Paul's eyes adjust, he recognizes many of his neighbors, all crowded into this small room. Then he sees their friends Odette and her husband Jean Baptiste.
-The president has been murdered.
-Where are Thomas and Fedens?
-I sent them home. Go and call them.
-Is every Tutsi in the neighborhood here?
-They came through the bushes, over the wall. What could I do?
-Send them home. We are not the police. What do we have to protect them?
-Please. Let them stay 'til morning. The militia will not come here, they know you are a Hutu with influence.
-Please, Paul, 'til first light.
-Oh, my God!
-What is it, Paul.
-Paul, don't let them die.
-Them. They almost got us all killed. I have done enough for them! We cannot look after them anymore.
-What are you going to do? You cannot drive them out onto the road. They can stay with me.
-What!
-I will not have them on my conscience. They will stay in my room.
-This won't do.
-Any luck?
-No answer. Please send someone to get them, please.
-Has Roger spoken yet?
-No, Odette says he's in shock.
-How can we help him.
-He needs to be in a safe place. Have you heard from Mr. Garindi?
-This is not bad news, Tatsi. Perhaps they fled or could not make it home. There is hope.
-My sister is dead, Paul. They would not leave the children.
-They are being evacuated.
-What about us?
-Listen to me woman. I said all the whites are leaving. The French, the Italians, even the Belgian UN soldiers.
-But who is left?
-You could leave, Paul.
-What are you saying, Tatsi?
-Your card says Hutu. Take our children, go and get the twins, pay money at the roadblocks. Get them out. Please.
-Go to the roof now.
-What for Paul.
-Lynch Bages, 84. Perfect with lamb, or fine rare beef.
-So where is the lamb?
-What's the matter?
-I have to go out to get food.
-Go out! Where?
-To Rutagunda's place. It is close by.
-No, no.
-I have to, Tatiana, we are only as valuable as the service we provide.
-You cannot go alone.
-Please, Paul, why do we have to go to the roof?
-I hear we must pay for everything. How much for this?
-I have a confession. When we met...
-In Ruhengeri?
-Yes, when you worked as the nurse.
-Yes.
-I had you transferred to Kigali.
-What?
-I bribed the Minister of Health to have you transferred to Kigali.
-Why?
-To be closer. So that I could marry you.
-What was the bribe? What am I worth to you?
-It was substantial.
-Tell me what it was.
-A car.
-What sort of car?
-What does it matter.
-I want to know.
-A Volkswagen.
-I will not leave without the twins.
-We have to get out of here Tatiana.
-Please, please try one more time.
-A little longer, Paul?
-Ask them to wait a little longer. For the twins.
-Get on the truck, Tatiana.
-I have to stay.
-No! Sit down now.
-Let me go. Children get off.
-I love you. Keep the children safe.
-We are almost out of water.
-We have to have a plan.
-What sort of plan?
-Our children cannot see us die first. If the Militia comes, you must hurry up to the roof. I will meet you there.
-Please do not talk like this.
-The Diplomat! Tatiana wakens, startled.
-What's wrong?
-Oh, my babies.
-Can I have your name again?
-Paul Rusesabagina, Mr. Godefroid. The house manager. I met you on your last visit.
-Very well. But if this thing gets worse, we must close. If there's anything you need, call anytime.
-I managed to get the President of France on the phone.
-Thank you, sir, you saved our lives.
-Paul, I pleaded with the president to go in and get you all. He told me it will not happen.
-Why?
-Rutaganda's place?
-What's wrong?
-Beg your pardon sir, you are Hutu. You are safe there.
-What is it like to fly on a plane, sir?
-It depends where you sit Zozo. In coach it is like the bus to Giterama.
-That is why they call it coach?
-Maybe. But in business class there are fine wines, linens, Belgian chocolates.
-You have taken business class?
-Sit up, smile, Zozo, don't attract attention to yourself.
-Twelve are dead.
-Where are the receptionists? Where's Gregoire?
-He has taken the presidential suite.
-Where's housekeeping? They won't pick up.
-What do we do with all these people?
-What are you doing?
-Where has all our beer gone?
-Sir, Gregoire has been taking beers.
-How much beer?
-You are my family now, Zozo, my brother. I will get you out of here.
-Thank you, sir.
-I saw Gregoire make a call, sir?
-When?
-What is this about no water?
-Paul. Are you alright?
-Out? Where are you going?
-All. What do you mean all?
-The staff, the guests.
-The staff and guests! How many?
-Paul, are you there?
-Yes, thank you Mr. President.
-The French. They supply the Rwandan army.
-For food and clothes, and all that grows, etc, etc. Dear Lord, thank you.
-Why the hurry, Roger?
-Simon has a new pet. Can I go see it?
-No, I don't want you going on the street.
-Please, papa, I have a secret path.
-There are soldiers.
-Where?
-Moses, Moses Seradungu.
-Can I help you?
-I'm looking for Moses Seradungu's room.
-What is his room number?
-I don't know.
-Take a bow, Steven, you've outdone yourself tonight -- scared holy hell out of even me.
-We'd've been splitsville years ago, with me the richest single woman in recorded history -- but Steven doesn't "believe" in divorce.
-Not too big on it myself -- but then again, not on marriage either.
-Oh, he's got no problem with that: I'm his fourth.
-I'm confused.
-Easy. You've got to keep still for a bit, the last thing we need is a coronary.
-You're the Doctor, sweetheart. 'Guess the atropine worked, then.
-Convinced all those that needed convincing: you're an official dead lady.
-And what's Steven's status?
-Still alive, but it's just a matter of time. And then will come your miraculous resurrection --
--- "oh, no, Officer, I'm very much alive -- just a joke to beat my husband at his own clever game -- What? What do you mean he's dead? It's all my fault, I may as well have killed him myself!"
-"But you didn't, Ma'am. We have all these witnesses that saw..." well, whoever it ends up being that finally shoots him --
--- the James Dean wannabe with the hair trigger --
--- or might turn out to be -- very big surprise -- that Jenzen girl. The little bitch has the right stuff. She nearly put a bullet in Price right after your "demise."
-So what stopped her?
-It's complicated. But don't worry --
--- there's already been way too many complications for a very simple plan. You ever find out what happened to Melissa Marr?
-Not yet.
-So we don't even know if she's alive or dead --
--- Price killed her, there's no other explanation --
--- there's plenty: for all we know, Steven's got her spying on us right now --
--- bullshit --
-It's not, baby. Just a matter of minutes now, before somebody pulls the trigger --
--- but nobody has yet, Donald. They just haven't been brought to that breaking point. They have to believe proof-positive that their lives are in danger.
-How much more do they need than your death at his hands?
-But they didn't see it happen, they still have doubts. What we need is another body, and Steven's bloody hands right next to it!
-And how the hell are we going to do that?
-If you don't mind me asking... Who are you?
-More of Price's spook-house bullshit.
-Part of the original structure. When it was still an asylum. Guy who ran the place -- Dr. Vannacutt -- found it "inspirational." From some German cathedral a million years ago: "Driving the Demons From the Mind."
-Mr. Price? Mrs. Price? Somebody? Hello??
-Pritchett, take it down a couple hundred decibels, what is your problem?
-Why in God's name wasn't this thing removed years ago??
-Jesus H. Christ!
-Oh dear.
-Looks like we're it.
-Oh, for chrissake --
-Something just must've...frightened her, that's all.
-More the merrier.
-Now what do we do? We've got to hold him somewhere 'til the police --
-Don't think it'll be a problem.
-What are you playing here, Price?
-Just for the record: what are the rest of your names?
-You're not my list.
-I got an engraved -- literally -- invitation -- with my name --
-There must be some other way out.
-Melissa!
-What?
-Even if I were inclined, I've had better -- and a lot safer -- opportunities to kill off a wife.
-Three times, to be exact.
-Excuse me?
-Accidents. Fatal. Each of your prior wives, so we've been informed.
-Where is it??
-I'm sorry --
-Upstairs, too. Come with me, I'll show you another body, a friend of mine named Schecter --
--- what was he doing here?
-Oh, really: who?
-If there really is someone else in this house, I think the four of us can handle the situation.
-Nice touch, Pritchett: subtle.
-This thing's going nowhere.
-Put it this way: if it's your face on that tape, Mr. Moses, we're one gunshot away from solving all our problems --
-Yeah, what the hell, I'll go.
--- I did: down here.
-Shouldn't somebody like, stand guard or something -- just in case?
-I'll stay, if it'll ease your mind.
-I wanna know first: to what do I owe this honor? I mean, I never even heard of this guy.
-'Less the place really is haunted.
-You're totally full of shit, aren't you?
-You said that was an accident.
-So, what? You're saying we're stuck here the rest of our lives?
-A cleaning crew's supposed to arrive at 9:30 tomorrow morning -- I think the power of the house fades at dawn.
--- well, let's hear it for small miracles --
-What's in there?
-What is it? What's in there?
-So you're saying as long as that door stays locked, we're okay?
-New wrinkle on an old theory for treating schizophrenia. 19th Century, I think: what would drive a sane man mad should make a madman sane. The Vannacutt version was: bombard the patient with aural and visual stimuli far more frightening than any hallucination they could ever produce, it'd traumatize 'em back to "normalcy."
-Hey! Where'd you guys go?
--- of this place, goddamnit, Pritchett!
-What's down there?
-Shit, Pritchett!!!
-Price didn't make the guest list... The house did. It wants vengeance.
-How's a goddamn building gonna send out invitations?
-Oh. Jesus.
-Uhhhh...
-What?
-Hail Mary, full of grace -- the house is growing!
-If you know where it is, get there!
-Pritchett, is that you?
-Pritchett!
-Right here, Mr. Pritchett. As well as five other bona fide, bank drafts for one million dollars each. Made out to cash.
-And we get this money when?
-This is nuts.
-I'll meet you down there.
-Evelyn, could you just zip it for a moment? It looks like we're stuck here 'til morning -- let's make the best of it.
-Married. Once. Same woman. All these years. She just slithered up the stairs.
-Prove it.
-Oh, Jesus....
--- the stained glass --
--- closed.
-Is she...alright?
-And you're not really as large and useless as you seem.
-I'm better than that.
-Three steps forward -- I want to get up there.
-Why?
-Thanks.
-Most fun I've had all day.
-What? Deep down inside?
-Start with the name you were born with, and we'll work forward from there.
-I told you already: Jennifer Jenzen, Executive V.P. of --
-I don't think so...
-Why not?
-Most of my business is making deliveries to high rollers. And I have yet to meet one Executive who could tie their own shoes -- let alone rewire an entire house. You don't fit the bill -- not even close.
-There's always exceptions.
-Well, she went somewhere! She didn't just up and disappear into thin air!
-How you gonna manage that with a new blow-hole in your dome?
-What the hell good is fixing that gonna get us?
-An answer, I hope: exactly what -- or who -- Melissa was taping.
-You hear somebody?
-We can do it...
-Sure, with three days and a blowtorch.
-It's a thousand years old -- we just need a crowbar or something to get leverage -- the sucker'll pop!
-No prob: I'll just hop down the hardware store --
--- no. The basement -- the room with all the controls to this thing: big long iron levers just lying there --
--- not a chance -- there's too much weirdness down there I don't think even bullets are gonna stop.
-I was upstairs with Eddie --
--- that's the fact, bud --
--- you lose either way, Price --
-I think we should have taken a right back there.
-Good point.
-What are you looking for?
-Cheery looking bunch.
-Holy shit! Now we know how the guest list was made up. Look, these names... Head Nurse, Ruth-Ann Stockard... Bjorn Jensen, Electro Therapy... Jasper Marr, Thomas Steven Price... They're all here!
-Wait a minute... What are you saying?
-Or an on-line computer.
-That's crazy!
-This is the best we're gonna do.
-Price!!
-It's okay, everything's okay now.
-Don't think it's even an issue.
-What --
-The opening's still too small, we'll never get through!
-No. It's just trying to frighten us.
-It's succeeding!
-Where did it go?
-Run.
-You okay?
-Yeah. And under other abnormal circumstances, I think this would be the time to seriously jump your bones.
-Better put it on hold 'til we find Pritchett.
-What?
-...Jesus H. Christ.
-I knew this whole place'd be pure gold! Pritchett, point me in the direction of the goddamn ghosts! If I can get something bizarre enough on tape, I think I can parlay it into getting me some kind'a Robert Stack "Unsolved Most- Wacked-Out Home Videos" gig. No more five afternoons a week of sex-change- Nazis-and-the-lesbos-that-love-'em.
-You've got your own TV show?
-...birds. Just seagulls or something walking on the glass, goddammit.
-So, what? The thing with the glass? Price did that?
-Melissa Margaret Marr, Celebrity.
-Then what the hell are we doing here?
--- forget it. Last birthday the Manson Family Ranch, the year before that: Jonestown.
-Don't touch me!
-I'm impressed: I don't think Evelyn's ever said those words to anything with genitalia.
-I'm not laughing, Steven.
-You shouldn't be -- you were nearly just killed, sweetheart. And now that our birthday girl is finally here, let the games begin!
-Could we have a word?
-I gave you a goddamn guest list two pages long -- where the hell are they?
-Shredded. Sorry. Decided to whip up one of my own: a group so hungry for money that they'd be willing to do anything. I thought you'd be more comfortable with your peers.
-I guess it was stupid of me not to expect something this twisted from you. Well, congratu-fucking-lations, Steven: Round One, you win.
-Well, not quite. See, those people down there: they aren't the ones I invited.
-Then who are they?
-You tell me. I don't know how you managed to hack into my Mac, but: bravo.
-What are you talking about? You think I invited them?
-Sure know it wasn't me. And if you say it wasn't you -- then who the hell did, Evelyn?
-It you really loved me, Steven, you'd find a way to drop dead in the next three seconds.
-Finding ways for me to die at these things is really your deal, isn't it? The "O.J." knife with the not-quite- retractable blade? Your "Jim Jones Kool- Aid" that was exactly that?
-You know how happy I'd be if that was really true, Evelyn? And how positively goddamn delirious if you weren't fucking every living thing in our area code at the same goddamn time!
-Which part of that fantasy turns you on most: me with other men -- or just the other men?
--- just not always in the sexual sense.
-You're hurting me.
-Now, there's the simple country gal I married. Let's go back down and greet your guests -- show them the real you: corny as Kansas on the Fourth of July.
--- asking the wrong guy -- wasn't me who closed it.
-Sure it wasn't. Hey, anybody else here make their living with thrills'n'chills for the kiddies? Don't raise your hands all at once.
-Huh. And here I had a completely different theory.
-Really? Well, let it rip.
-Oh, no-no-no -- much more bang for everyone's buck to nail the bitch --
--- the sadistic prick --
-What are you talking about?
-So how's a girl to know if these things are loaded, baby?
-And where are we off to, Mr. Price? Check the wiring on the animatronic Mummies?
-Fine with me. Just somebody then better go and round up Melissa Marr.
-Where is she?
-Game, set and match, Steven. You've outdone yourself. And I know it's not good manners to ask the magician how he did it, but inquiring minds are desperate to know: just what did really happen to Ms. Marr?
-Asking the wrong person again.
-I mean, did she stage it all for you and then go hide -- or did you just flat out kill the little bitch --
--- I pose you the same question --
--- and who's next on your list?
-If I had one, Evelyn, I think you know who'd be first and last --
--- oh, for chrissake, that's a given; we all know that knocking me off is the bottom line here --
--- that wasn't my original plan, but it is starting to look more attractive --
-Jesus!
-Question answered.
-They weren't loaded when I put them in there!
-Steven --
--- anything, sweetheart, you need only speak --
--- what...are...you...going...to --
--- just what you wanted everyone here to believe in the first place: I'm going to murder you, Evelyn, with the greatest of pleasure --
--- wit...nesses --
-No...
-Evelyn... Get up... NOW!
-I don't know, Ms. Jenzen.
-Well, who's the damn thing <u>from</u>?
-Messenger just dropped it off. No return address.
-You didn't think to ask?
-I was in the middle of --
-You think this is fucking funny??
-No, no, it's just --
--- well, here's a better one: you're fired.
-What?
-...wow....WOW! Hey, Ms. Jenzen -- ?
-Business or pleasure, Mr. Price?
-My wife. Where were we?
-Your roller coaster that is, quote: "unlike any that has ever come before it."
-Ever seen one that starts at the top? 20 stories worth of top?
-And then what happens?
-Sources have told this reporter that the real reason your Park's opening has been delayed was a near-fatal accident on one of the rides here. Comment?
-First time for everything.
-Do something!
-Please! Something! Oh-God!
-She's been marked for it. The House does that. Happened to Pritchett's father. Likely happen to you all. Isn't that what you told me, Mr. Pritchett?
-I'm ready now.
--- it's getting older by the second. Mr. Price, if I could just please have --
-I think you're gonna miss the bash of a lifetime --
--- my loss --
--- even if I give you a million as well?
-Must be those plates -- interfering with the signal somehow.
-I think...I may have the answer.
-What?
-House 2, Guests 0.
--- then I guess then it had to be you. Sorry.
-Vannacutt!!
-He was right! Pritchett was right!
-Yeah. Why's there five checks? There's only four of us.
-You're forgetting my lovely wife; she's part of the same winner-take-all as the rest of you.
-What're you talking about?
-Jennifer-Jenzen-Executive-V.P.- Paragon-Pictures.
-This is all maybe getting a little too strange --
-Sorry.
-Good way to get your head blown off.
-What is it??
-I...don't think...anybody should be touching the body.
--- the window and door grates --
-I was upstairs!
-If you've got a gun on you, Price, I'd hand it over now.
-Not just yet. Would any of you be interested in knowing exactly why I ended up here in the basement?
-Fascinated.
-Well, I don't.
-Then just wait -- maybe this whoever's got you next on the Asylum's equipment- test list. Maybe a literal mind-blow inside the "Saturation Chamber."
-I'll take my chances.
-Don't test me, I'm real prepared to use this to stay alive --
--- confirming everything we already know --
--- listen to me, goddamnit --
-Then tell me, please -- help me...!
-Don't think so. Stay the fuck back.
-Please! I need your help.
-Houston, I think we may have a problem.
-Problem where? Looked good to me.
-"Dummy 6" keeps losing his arm.
--- hey! Next time give me a couple seconds notice before you wing a gag like that!
-The lockdown thing.
-I mean, not that it didn't give Evelyn the kind of coronary I had in mind, just...
--- it wasn't me.
-Rewind that.
-I was just sitting here -- it happened. I had nothing to do with it.
-Then who did??
-No idea. I didn't even know the damn thing still worked!
-It works.
-Maybe it was just its time to finally fall apart.
-No. Somehow -- I don't know how -- she did it.
-Pretty amazing feat: all that shit down the basement and your wife's up in the bedroom the whole time.
-But the million bucks each, that's for real?
-Wish I could take the credit, but --
--- guess we know where Mr. Price is now.
-Of course he did, for God's sake. Didn't he, Mr. Pritchett?
-Oh, no.
-Don't know that it does.
-Well, then, how 'bout maybe we call someone?
-Won't do any good.
-Uh, excuse me? Don't think I'm not having the time of my life watching this train wreck that's your marriage -- but this isn't what I had in mind... I want to know that we can get out of here if we need to.
-Believe me, we need to.
-Pritchett, this "lockdown" thing -- it's gotta have like a master control -- you know machinery, gears, whatever -- somewhere in this place?
-The basement -- but, believe me, you don't want to go down there.
-No, you don't want to go down there. I am going down there. And I'm going to find <u><b>reverse</b></u> on this thing and floor it.
-You'll never find it, it's a maze down there.
-You should really open this place to the public, Pritchett -- a spa for people without enough stress in their lives.
-Ghosts killed your father?
-Not ghosts... at least not what you're thinking... Vannacutt used to dump the bodies of his failed experiments somewhere in the house...
-And you think it's in there?
-There is something very not normal going on here!
-This? This is nothing. You've only been dealing with the House itself. You have no idea what you're tinkering with. Sooner or later, the darkness that is at the core will get out... One of you will release it... Not meaning to, of course... then... ...Bye, bye, Miss American Pie...
-Pritchett, what is this "core of darkness"?
-You coming, or are you waiting for Blackburn?
-Blackburn's dead.
-Excuse me?
-Price!
-Pritchett: what is going on?
-He must've unsealed the room!
--- hey! --
--- Eddie!!
-Please.....anyone....help me?
-Melissa...?
-For the love of God....please...?
-Melissa, it's Sara -- is that you?
-Sara...?
-Keep talking, I'll find you!
-Something....happened --
--- I'm coming --
-I feel something. It's faint, but...it's there...
-Damn it.
-What's the matter?
-Did you find something?
-It doesn't say. But that's not what interests me. There's no death certificate for the daughter. Anywhere.
-What was her name?
-So many unanswered questions. Why was she buried there. And who killed her?
-It might have been her mother.
-We don't have proof of that.
-They don't build them like this anymore.
-Town records are coming up now.
-What will they tell you?
-I have to admit you really have a beautiful home.
-Thank you. If you told me two years ago we'd be living here, I would never have believed it. Do you live around here?
-How did you meet Dr. Shea?
-There were a series of lectures about parapsychology at my university. I went and heard him speak, and became fascinated with the idea of hunting ghosts.
-I have to admit I was skeptical. Until now.
-So was I. The usual investigation turns up nothing more times than not.
-Well, I guess this whole thing was as strange for you as it was for us.
-It looks delicious...
-Did you find her?!
-Are you all right?
-A few years older, perhaps.
-It will heal.
-I'm sorry.
-Good-bye.
-May you find the peace you've sought in vain for so long.
-Where does this amulet come from?
-The dagger is used to free those possessed if stabbed directly into the heart, according to ancient beliefs -
-By killing them?
-By freeing them.
-I don't understand.
-What do these ingredients mean?
-Can we leave out a bowl of milk, mommy?
-Mommy, the leprechauns drank the milk last night.
-Can I do it again tonight?
-Don't play games with me, little girl.
-I didn't do anything, mommy.
-Well then who did?!
-Maybe it was Colleen...
-It's going to hurt us!
-Honey, isn't your friend's name Colleen?
-Can you talk to her?
-She's down...
-Aubrey, come on down and have some dinner!
-My angel!
-Are we leaving mommy?
-Where are we going to go, mommy?
-We're going to go someplace new.
-What about all my other stuff?
-H-how long will it take?
-Your father doesn't love us anymore!
-Oh my God, what happened to you? My baby -
-She says she's lonely...
-Where is she?
-She's here.
-Where is she now?
-She's down. Help her...
-Help me! Please!!!
-Can I have this room daddy?
-Sure. Did you see the others?
-I want this one, daddy.
-What's he doing daddy?
-He's blessing the house.
-Why?
-Did you grow up in Ireland mister?
-That's father, Aubrey. SEAMUS Well yes I did. Lived here my whole life.
-Look daddy! It's empty!
-We're here Aubrey! Look, don't be afraid. We want you to come back to us...
-I can't move!
-Mommy please help me!
-Don't be afraid!
-Oh my God! She's in there!
-Are we going back to California daddy?
-Good night Angel...
-Mommy!
-I could use a little help. We have to return the van soon.
-Now remember we have to call someone about that replacing that water heater.
-Yeah I'll look into that tonight.
-I hope we have more success than we did with the cleaning service.
-The place is pretty dusty.
-Well the realtor said that was going to be taken care of and it wasn't. I'll have to call her.
-Who knows... we have to get used to living around here. Maybe good help is hard to find.
-What's the matter?
-Will, maybe we should have separate bedrooms for a while.
-Oh come on...
-I just, I don't know...
-What will Aubrey think?
-Well maybe we don't need to remind her of it. She has a lot more to adjust to...new friends, new schools...it would be good if she had a stable family environment.
-You didn't think much about that before.
-It's just going to take a while.
-To our family.
-I wish I knew more about her.
-Did anyone in your family keep in touch with her?
-Not really. She was just one of those names you hear growing up. You know, so-and-so who lives in Ireland. I really don't think anyone knew about this place.
-God rest her soul.
-Are you playing tricks on me?
-What?
-What the hell is that?
-No. Maybe it was Aubrey.
-She's asleep. I think that's what I need, too. I'm starting to see things.
-...set up some more things.
-The heater's here.
-Were you fooling with the power?
-No.
-What is it?
-It was in the cellar. Weird.
-Weird sounds, things moving, lights going off. The videotape...
-So what are you saying?
-But do you agree with me?
-Yeah, I'd say some weird things have happened.
-Well, I try to keep an open mind, but...
-Maybe Eliza wasn't so crazy after all.
-There's got to be an explanation. It could be a magnetic flux or something, maybe the power lines are giving off something. Who knows? I don't know, I think it's kind of interesting.
-Well what power lines, Will? Where? Maybe we should call someone about it.
-Who?
-I don't know. Someone who...knows about this kind of stuff.
-Oh come on!
-Just because I have an open mind doesn't mean I'm going to pay some snake oil peddler to come in and shake a voodoo stick around the house.
-Voodoo stick? It's nothing like that Will. You're just being cynical.
-It just disappeared. Literally.
-Whoa there...
-What are you talking about?
-She has a...friend. Colleen.
-A friend?
-How are we doing?
-I think everything's ready.
-Oh my God where is she!
-She's gone!
-Aubrey!
-It doesn't matter to me. What do you mean by that?
-I'm fine.
-You know, I was thinking... All that stuff father Seamus said...about discord, distrust... we're doing all right, aren't we? You don't have any doubts about me, do you?
-Should I...
-You don't think I know?
-Do you think I'm a fool?
-What?
-Nothing's changed, has it. You still want to deceive me?
-Maura, what is this!
-We're not going.
-We'll destroy you...destroy all of you!
-Maura!
-Are you all right?
-You're bleeding.
-Not at all. I'm just trying to put together all the evidence, to determine what it could possibly be.
-We don't know.
-I think we should do it.
-We're usually successful in detecting the source of most problems. Unfortunately.
-What do you mean, unfortunately?
-We usually find nothing. We've debunked many a reported haunting. About ninety five percent of the cases had some technical explanation.
-Where is your daughter? She might be able to give us some information.
-Ok, so we have a...presence. What do we do about it?
-I'm not sure, but I can check. Did the events start before or after you discovered this?
-You've done your homework, Mrs. South.
-Maura.
-Maura.
-I'm hungry enough to eat a horse.
-Is white meat all right for you, Mr. Shea?
-You must be a Londrigan.
-...at her request. She was a very religious woman.
-Oh, that's nice...
-Thank you. I believe she would have wanted it.
-She attended the church for years. A dear woman, it was sad to see her decline so rapidly.
-It was a shame.
-Well it's nice that you were there for her.
-Your daughter's been taken.
-I'm going to need some blood. It must be from a woman.
-Why?
-Now you must listen to me. This force is like a parasite, or a virus. It feeds on doubt, suspicion, discord... you must clear your mind as we reach out for her.
-Go ahead. I believe right now she may hear you.
-Concentrate! She can hear you!
-She's coming back. Keep talking!
-You must be the new tenants.
-My name is Father Seamus. I'm from Holy Rood church.
-What was she afraid of?
-Did you have dinner, father? We have plenty.
-I hope everything works out for you, and you find happiness in your new home.
-Thank you.
-Well there's no time like the present. Good night.
-We'll never know for sure.
-This isn't happening...
-What...amulet?
-I said nothing before, for fear you wouldn't believe me. I've been here before to cast evil from this house. The amulet is a guard against evil, blessed in countless rituals. It is an ancient ceremony of the early Catholic church, a ceremony whose secrets are all but lost.
-So what does that have to do with Aubrey! Where is she!
-We must return it, if you want your daughter back.
-What are you getting at!
-How long will it take!
-Keep talking!
-The rain is letting up.
-Yes it is. Will and Seamus look at each other -
-I don't know what happened... and I don't know what you did...
-I didn't do anything...God saved her...
-What's going to happen?
-Take care of the girl. Take care of your family. They are important.
-Well, you know where to reach me. The church is a stone's throw away if you want to come to mass.
-No. But I'm a clairvoyant. I can sometimes talk to unhappy spirits inhabiting a certain place.
-Well it all depends on how much money you want to spend. A standard visit would run you about fifty pounds. That would include myself and an assistant.
-And what would you do?
-Looks like we have some animal hairs in here. Maybe some kind of a rodent.
-So is that what all this is? Someone have a problem with us living here?
-Do you have any other physical evidence, that we can look at?
-Where did you find this?
-It was nailed to the cellar wall.
-I see some faint lettering. It appears to be the...Runic alphabet?
-Do you mind if I borrow it?
-There's something in there.
-What?
-There's something through that wall!
-Well what is it!
-What do you mean?
-What, you think I'm kidding? I guarantee it. An inch more flank. Boys upstairs get hot. Bingo, you're an anchor-woman.
-C'mon, Joey. I'm just trying to help you hit a home run here.
-Yeah? Well, you just struck out. It may be a surprise to you, Brad, but I want to do it the right way. Not tight skirts. Tight stories.
-Right. Like last night's doozie.
-I know what I saw.
-Not on station time.
-I know. I know. But it's just so ... neat, isn't it? The first gig that isn't cute kids or diet gurus and it's taken away from me.
-Better hurry, Doc. A real story. With a real reporter.
-Joey .... Look, you wanna ride? I can go by your place.
-You'd lose the money-shots. No. I'll catch a bus. Or a cab. Don't worry about it. Go.
-OK. Be careful. And lighten up. Story of your life could be right round the corner.
-Hello?
-You wanted a story. You got it. Turn on the TV now. And then get your ass down here ... ...
-Wait ... wait. You ... you have to help me. I don't understand. Am I dreaming this?
-You have to help me. You will understand. And no, you're not dreaming. Do you know where we are?
-It's ... I don't know. First World War, right?
-Well done. Brave girl. You've probably never shaken hands with a ghost before, am I right?
-Captain Spenser. Elliott. I ... What the Hell is going on?
-The war pulled poetry out of some of us. Others it affected differently. This is me a few years later. We're in India, by the way, and it's 1921. I was like many survivors. Lost souls with nothing left to believe in but gratification. We'd seen God fail, you see. So many dead. For us God, too, fell at Flanders. We adjusted to the
-And what is ... this frozen moment?
-The cusp of my life. What I was, what I am, what I will be ... past, present, future, all bound here at this timeless moment of decision. I was an explorer of forbidden vices and pleasures. Opening the Box was my final act of exploration, of discovery.
-Something bad.
-Kirsty Cotton. Yes. But ... if your soul was freed, why are you back?
-Because - monster as I was - I was bound by Laws. The protocol of Hell. The Box had to be opened to let me out. The truly innocent were safe. That's no longer true. The shell of the beast has been fleshed. What I was is out there, Joey. In your world. Unbound. Unstoppable.
-What will he do? What does he want?
-He'll do what he does best. But he'll do it unfettered. He wants to walk the Earth forever, indulging his taste for all the myriad subtleties of human suffering.
-I like you, Joey. You ask all the right questions. There is something we can do but it will require great courage.
-Joey, you walked through your window from one reality to another. You're stronger than you think.
-Then tell me what to do.
-This is his first night on Earth. He wants to close the door behind him. Like all Lieutenants, he covets command. There's a gateway to Hell through which he can be taken back. He has to destroy it.
-So where is it?
-Wha .... ?
-It was off the statue. In the club.
-Hold on. Hold on, please. I need talk to you.
-Look, lady! I told you! It's not my problem! I was just there!
-Under The Underground. Can I like GO now?!
-Uh-huh?
-Uh ... Hi! Is this ... er ... Joanne Summerskill?
-You like ... left me a card? At the club?
-Right ... So ... Well, what do you want?
-I want to talk to you. We met ... now, listen, don't hang up, OK? ... We met at the hospital last night.
-Yeah. Sure. You mean ... tonight?
-Of course tonight. Is that a problem? Like, if you've got a guy there or something ...
-I put some decaf on. Er ... make yourself comfortable.
-What?
-Your dream. You said you were having a bad dream.
-... well, I've been having it for years. It's not a nightmare or anything. It's ... well, I know what it is.
-What is it?
-Why are you so interested?
-Sorry.
-No. No, it's OK. I ... It's my father.
-Oh, right. Did he used to ... ?
-God, no! Nothing like that. No, he died before I was born. He died in Vietnam. I never knew him. Never met him. We don't even know the details. I dream of battlefields. Of searching. Of trying to find out.
-That's great.
-What?
-No ... I mean, it's not like great about your dad or anything. It's just I don't dream. Never have. ... Maybe it'd help if I slept sometime ... Just kidding ... No, so it's always neat for me to hear about dreams. I'm jealous. It's like everybody has another world except me. You know what I mean?
-Great. Thanks. You gonna have one?
-I'm trying to quit.
-Sorry. It was my father's. It's temperamental.
-Oh. You wanna talk about that stuff.
-Yes I do. Terri, something awful happened to that boy. I have to find out what it was.
-But I don't know anything! Really. I just came out of the club and the kid was already in the street. He ...
-Did you know him?
-No. I'd seen him in there a few times before. He was just a punk. I'd never like danced with him or anything. Anyway, he was a thief. He must've taken it from the statue.
-Taken what?
-The thing! He was lying there in the street, moaning. But he pointed at it ... 22
-Wait a minute. He was already ... wounded ... when you found him?
-Yeah! That's what I'm saying! And it was lying next to him. And he pointed at it before he passed out and ...
-Wait. Wait. The chains. Where did the chains come from?
-I figured I'd make breakfast.
-Right ... That's ... er ... that's nice of you, Terri. Can I ask? Is it always this ... exploratory?
-I'll boil some water.
-I'll do it!
-This is great. And it's yours? You like own it?
-The bank owns it. But I'm working on it.
-How have you ... ?
-Wow. Lotta books. You read all these?
-No. I buy them to impress people. Of course I've read them.
-Cool. I read a book once. It was like all these people discovering who they used to be. You know, like reincarnation? It was really good. You ever read that?
-... but it is good. You know, over to the left, you can ...
-I don't know his name ... I saw the whole story. A wounded bird was on his roof. I could hear its cries from here. He went straight to it. I couldn't've. I'd be frozen between pity and fear. But he wasn't. Its pain spoke directly to him. He picked it up. Nursed it. Fed it. And it got better. Everyday he'd watch the
-And he still sits there?
-Every day.
-Maybe he thinks it'll come back.
-But I don't know what's going on.
-Maybe not. But you know more than I do. You know something about this box. Something about a statue?
-Yeah. I found it. I knew held like it and I figured ...
-Woah. Wait a minute. Who? The kid?
-No. JP. My last boyfriend? He like owns the club. You know? You were there? He bought the statue.
-I was downtown looking for a ... a friend. A guy I know. Anyway, there was this store. Like real old? Lotsa weird shit in there. I saw this statue. Pillar. Thing. I knew he'd love it. You've seen the club.
-Would you know this store again?
-Sure. Why?
-Jesus. Are you sure this is the street?
-Yeah. Happening, isn't it?
-Terri?
-Buying some drugs, alright?
-For somebody else, alright? Not for me. I don't do that shit anymore.
-Then you shouldn't even be around it. You know, it's ...
-What am I looking for?
-Joey ... ?
-No. Sorry. Not interested. Not for my customers. Have you tried ...
-No. No, you don't understand. We're not selling it. It came from here. We want ...
-Everything sold as is. No guarantees. No returns.
-No. We want ...
-Never mind. I'm glad it's gone. Made the store feel strange. Who'd make such a thing?
-Fine. Fine. But can you tell us anything about it?
-It was part of a job-lot. Some loony- bin they shut down. Unclaimed stuff.
-What else came with it? Anything still here?
-Sure. Just papers, photos. Stuff nobody'd ever want.
-Can we see?
-You gonna buy?
-I don't know. Maybe.
-Welcome. 38
-You're JP Monroe, right?
-Uh-huh.
-And this is your club. Great club. I really love it here. Great club.
-Thank you.
-Thank you for the drink. And the rose. Wow. That's ... really nice.
-It's yours. You won it. It's a prize.
-A prize? For what?
-You see, everyday I have my friend John here bring ...
-The barman? I thought he was called Rick?
-He's a barman. Whatever. Do you mind if I continue?
-I'm sorry.
-Everyday I have my friend Rick here bring a newly-cut red rose in with him and keep it behind the bar. And I award it to a woman of exceptional beauty.
-Oh come on. There're lots of girls here who look better than ...
-... Let it define you. Whatever it is. Most of the roses die behind the bar. This is the first I've given out for nearly a month.
-Yes really.
-Wow. Thank you.
-Do you mind me talking about your stuff?
-It doesn't bother me. I'm just not interested.
-But you gave me a rose ...
-And tomorrow I'll give one to somebody else. Get dressed. Get out.
-You shit. Who do you think you are?
-I'm JP Monroe, you stupid little bitch. Now get the fuck out of my life.
-You ... I can't fucking believe you, you bastard! You get me in here ...
-What ... What ... ?
-That had nothing to do with the world. Not this one, anyway.
-On the contrary. It has everything to do with the world. And our dreams of how it will succumb to us. You enjoyed the girl?
-Yes.
-Good. So did I. And that's all ...
-I understand. Their fortune was so tempting, their affection so conditional. What else could you do?
-Don't flee from yourself. If you have a quality, let it define you. Cultivate it. It is you. By helping me, you will help yourse...
-What!? What are you talking about? Why should I help you?
-A dark star rising. I was bound to another's system by a soul I once possessed. A friend relieved me of that inconvenience. Now I'm free. Born again of Blood and Desire.
-You see, we're not so dissimilar.
-But how in God's name ...
-How do we start?
-Joey?
-Not quite.
-JP?
-Live and in the flesh. How're you doing, babe?
-Yeah right. How'd you get this number?
-Will you relax? Your little girlfriend left a card, remember?
-Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Well ... I'm fine. Things are great here. Joey's going to get me a job at the TV station. I'm meeting lotsa new people. It's really great.
-Really?
-Yeah really. I'm ...
-No. I mean, really? Because I'm concerned for you, sweetheart. I care about you. I guess I miss you. I'm sorry we split up. I'm sorry I ...
-You're apologizing?
-Hey, it has been known. C'mon Terri, I'm not that bad a guy. I have regrets. I'd like to put things right. Don't tell me you haven't thought about me. Huh?
-Well ... of course I have. I've thought. I've ... Oh, JP, you were so horrible. You really hurt me ...
-I know. I know. It's bad. I'm a bad person. But I try not to be, Terri. I really do. And I really miss you.
-I miss you too.
-That's so good to hear, sweetheart. It really is. You know, I .. are you alone?
-Yes. 53
-Good ... Good ... Look, why don't you come over? You know, nothing heavy, little drink maybe, little talk. Just see how we both feel?
-Oh, I don't ...
-Not quite. This wasn't here.
-No. But, as you can see, I'm having some work done on it. You found a real treasure for me, Terri. I hope I can show you how grateful I am.
-Yeah ... yeah, it looks different.
-Yeah, a girl I know helped smarten it up. Put her heart and soul into it.
-A girl? Anyone I should know?
-Yeah right. Look ...
-I don't think so. Not yet. I'm not ready yet.
-That's terrible. What a bitch. She was obviously just using you, Terri. Ready to dump you the second she had what she needed, interfering little whore.
-No. It isn't ... she wouldn't ... It's like I must have done something wrong, you know? Freaked her out. Just fucked up something good again.
-Really?
-Oh thank God, you're dead...
-You're saying you want us to beat them to the crystal and save the world from financial disarray.
-Something like that.
-Well, forget about it. Hawk and I are going to Rio. We're hurt, we're tired, and a hero ain't nothing but a sandwich. Right, buddy?...
-That was beautiful.
-The security's actually not that severe.
-Delivery Entrance. Low Security.
-Eighth room down, babe...
-That's the first thing I did. Smooch the ground and taste the freedom. Sorry I was late. Miss anything?
-Your timing, and your shoes, are impeccable... Good to see you, Alex, been having a lousy day.
-Looks like you've been expanding your...
-Don't say it, Hawkins. I'm incredibly sensitive about my fucking figure.
-That's your definition of "Hard?"
-Show off. Hey, boss tune. "Come Fly with Me."
-Three minutes, 51 seconds.
-Still do the puzzles, still know the running times of songs, and I'll bet you're still the best damn cat burg--
-Not anymore. Now I'm the laziest damn cat burg--I'm going to take it so straight that I won't tape a Mets game without the expressed written consent of the National Baseball League.
-Now that you're born again,what do you wanna do? Statue of Liberty? Entertain some ladies? Miss Saigon tix? Seduce some women? Play Nintendo? Bone some chicks?
-Come on, Alex, let's just get to Alex's. Your bar's the only place that's going to cheer me. God, I'd kill for a damn cappuccino. What the hell's a Nintendo?
-So Mr. Coffee, what went down outside the prison?
-Those dago-guinea-I can say this shit I'm Italian-wop motherfu--
-I didn't know how to tell you. A couple brokers stopped in for Stoley Spritzers one night. Next thing I know Fast Track Digest votes us "Watering Hole of the Month." Now, I'm shopping for Aqua Salmon wallpaper.
-I read about these people in Newsweek. Where's all the regulars, Crazy Jeff Cava, the Todd sisters, Indian Joe? Where's Ed Kranepool's autograph? Captain Bob's steering wheel?
-Alex, did you know this ape was going to be here...
-Hmmmm.....
-It's Captain Bob's steering wheel! Remember when the Captain.....
-The safe's a Simpson 71. Last time I played the game, Simpson only had a 40.
-Just means it'll take you an extra 31 seconds to seduce. You re still the best, I know it.
-But you got three guards who... Shit, what am I doing? Where's the want ads? Gonna sell some spatulas.
-This isn't funny. I'm not into this. I...
-There goes five seconds...My record's eighteen.
-I'm sorr--Goddamn Mario Brothers. Goddamn Gates. Goddamn Rutherford Auction House. By the way, how many seconds?
-Alex!
-Whoa, you better cut a bigger hole than that.
-Cameras?
-They record everything their video surveillance takes in...
-You got about five minutes and change.
-5:32. "Swinging on a Star."
-"A mule is an animal with long funny ears."
-"He can't write his name or read a book. To fool people is his only thought."
-"And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo."
-The song's over! Come on! "You could be swinging on a star."
-What am I doing here? There are so many things I wanna do that aren't this. Paint a lighthouse. Kiss a woman in Italy.
-"You could be swinging on a star."
-Did I miss anything?
-Oh, not much. Gates just had his tonsils taken out. The hard way.
-The Butler did it. Guy was a cross between Alistair Cook and a Cuisinart. Dude took Mr. Ed and humptied dumptied it over Gates's head. He said it was made by, get this, Leonardo..
-Okay, you got me, Mr. PBS.
-Morning edition. Seems two thieves "attempted" to steal it last night, but thanks to three "courageous" guards, it will be ready for tonight.
-Boing. Uh, this I don t understand...
-Why try?
-Because I'm tired of not understanding things. Cops, Mafia, and butlers forcing me to bust my ass to steal something, which it turns out I really didn't steal--it's fucked up.
-You re not thinking of going to...
-You bastard. You fucked my freedom for a lousy job.
-But I said I was sorry....
-No sweat, Alex, you only made the biggest mistake of <u>my</u> life. What was your per-diem?
-Rio, Alex? After all they've done to...Hey, these tickets are for Moscow!
-We're going in from the ground floor.
-Shwoof, that makes me feel better. I can't believe this is the Iron Curtain. All the guy at Airport customs wanted to know was "Who Shot J.R.?"
-You sound disappointed.
-Count of three?
-Why not just go now?
-"Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money.
-Now that's a lock.
-"Oh this lock is a pain in the bu-utt"
-That was close....
-Anna, I think you better stay....
-"We all had our quarrels and parted..."
-I'm a ghost. Boo.
-Alex, are you....
-I can't believe you didn't notice. My weight. I lost ten pounds in Rome
-Get 'em. They went down the hallway.
-Let's just forget it, I mean...
-Ta ta, Hudson Hawk.
-Welcome to Rome, sir.
-My life is not some deal. I...
-Welcome back to Vinci.
-How.
-You're unemployed, Alfie. Boss is dead. Her plan is over.
-My plan is just beginning. I'll forgive you for denying me the pleasure of slaughtering my boorish employers, but I'm afraid the birth of the new British Empire can have no witnesses!
-Don't you just hate kids...
-George, you promised. No Old CIA/ New CIA jokes...
-Grapple, Biker's bottle, hairspray, black turtleneck, Pocket Fisherman, acid, collapsible yardstick, softball, and 72 stamps. Gee Stud, this is going to be some date. No Harvey's Bristol Cream?
-With all due respect to that great blouse, why didn't I cut out her heart?
-Lucky for us, the Da Vinci is located in a wing of the Kremlin that they used to throw the Miss Ukraine pageant and stuff. It'll have the least number of guards....
-Come on, Pierre, Steak-bur-ger, Fren-n-ch Fries. This is France, you gotta have French.....
-Italy, France, Moscow. They all just wanna be Nebraska. Old Man Kaplan thinks since Communism is dead, we got nothing to do. Man, Democracy isn't free elections. We gotta teach the world that Democracy is Big Tits, College Football on Saturdays, Eddie Murphy saying the word "Fuck" and Kids putting their hands down garbage disposals on "America's Funniest Home Videos."
-Damn baby, when's the last time you had a vacation...Jesus, I gotta get out of this job. If my Mom knew her daughter assassinated the leader of the anti-Apartheid movement....
-This is the room above the Art Treasures room. The lock is a Natalya Z-Z, first created...
-What the hell....
-Did he mention the Mayflowers?
-No, your Eminence. I think he's going to steal the Codex, as early as next week.
-Attempt, you mean. The vanity of this man, Hudson Hawk. The Vatican has foiled the advances of Pirates and Terrorists. We will not lie down for some schmuck from New Jersey. Must you flirt with him so realistically?
-That's the best kind. A wise woman once said "Polite conversation is rarely either."
-Let me be the one to quote Scripture. ....As an agent of our organization, you are put in awkward situations. Just remember, Hudson Hawk is an evil, evil man.
-Hit me with your best shot.
-I betrayed a man. A good man. An innocent man. A thief.
-Anna, what are you trying to say...
-"Messed around" messed around? I know-- I don't want to know. First base? Second Base? Stop me when I'm getting warm...
-A little petting is not the issue!
-You got it. Operation Deflower Mayflower is a bad joke and I'm the punchline. I thought we were using the CIA to help us to get Mayflower, but really the CIA was using me to keep us away from Mayflower.
-Oh, why couldn't I be the Cardinal in charge of catering.... If the Mayflowers get the three sections of Da Vinci's crystal and his instructions for the gold machine-- Aie-yi--Do we got anything? What of Alex, Hawk's friend, where is his loyalty?
-I'm going to find out.
-I'm sorry for losing it back there, but you must remember, sister, you have vows to God as well as a mission to the world.
-I know, I know, your Eminence, just say "God go with me."
-Oh, the shit is going to hit the fa--
-My God, that was bold of you, you didn't have to do that...
-Forget about it--it was nothing-- anybody would have done the same thing--It's an impulse...
-No, I meant you didn't have to tackle me and rip my dress. A polite push, perhaps? A clear shout of "watch out, Anna" would have done nicely...
-Thanks tough guy, thanks a lot. Why was the guard chasing you?
-Tough guy. What are you--How's your head.
-As you know, the Da Vinci Codex, has lived in the Vatican for centuries and will continue to live here for centuries more.
-That's what you theenk.
-Come on, this stuff will knock you out. Have you ever had the feeling you were being followed, Mr. Bond.
-Whoa. Name's Hawkins, Eddie Hawkins. My nickname's Hudson Hawk, but don't call me Hudson, not even as a joke. The Nuns at St. Agnes called me that and they're the ones who helped make me what I am today. Not a compliment...
-Sure Hudson. Are you going to tell me why you did that back there or are you going to blame it on Dumbo?
-Whoa, part 2. Does it go to Times Square?
-Delivers up to ten at night. The Pope has an obsession with his Easter Seals. It's actually not that an unusual set-up. The secret passageway on the other hand....
-The Vatican is made of constant mysteries meant to be enjoyed, not explained.
-Nice. But right out of our brochure.
-Oh, you read that.
-Actually I wrote it. It's a good sentence. It can apply to people.
-You're not an unmysterious thang yourself.
-I don't steal stuffed elephants from little girls. And I buy my own clothes. My life's a little boring...
-God, I wish I could say the same thing. What about having a nice, dull dinner with me tonight. Scrabble, Knock-knock jokes, Anecdotes about famous dead Italians....
-And I'll bring my entourage...
-Secret passageways don't mean as much as they used to. There's a place two blocks east of here. Enzo's. Say 10:30.
-Oh Hudson, I was worried you weren't going to drop by....
-This is bueno. They had the worst ketchup in prison.....uh...
-Prison?
-I was the Warden?
-How long were you in?
-Let's just say, I never saw E.T.
-Wow, you were "in the joint." "Doing hard time." It's funny, but that excites me. I seem to have a thing for sinners.
-What have you been doing?
-tickles, ticKleS, TICKLES.
-I'm sorry. I can't. I....
-Hey now, outside of a very friendly dog this morning, it's been a slow decade. I don't make love every ten years, I get a little cranky.
-Catholic girls are scary...
-Somebody robbed the Vatican.
-It's not what you think. Okay, maybe it is....
-You really went and did it. With one day, not even a day, of planning, you did it. Nobody does it better, Hudson. You started the week stealing the Sforza and you ended it swiping the Codex.
-Wha--
-For two years, I've been tracking the Mayflowers' peculiar interest in three Da Vinci pieces. Their Sforza replica was as fake as the "gas leak" that supposedly destroyed it.
-Does everyone in the world know more than me? Jesus, I'm just some guy who happens to be good at swiping stuff.....Lifted a piece of licorice when I was one and a half. Who knew it would lead... They even got the CIA involved!
-The C.I. what? God, no...
-This doesn't taste like cappuccino.
-Hudson, don't you understand...
-And you, Dr. Cappucino, you're lucky I don't hit women, assuming you are a woman. I'm not taking anything for granted anymore.
-I-work-for-a-covert-Vatican-humanitarian- organization. The-CIA-made-a-fool-of-me. I-care-for-you...
-Where did you get this?
-You know, the place where you gave the bad guys the Codex.... the Mayflower Museum.
-You better believe I can. I'm sick of people telling me what I have to do.
-It's that kind of selfish attitude that...
-Selfish attitude? I'm just some guy who wants a little nap and a cappuccino for when he wakes up, not too much foam...
-Hey, don't take your disguise so seriously.
-Uh, yeah. Guess I'm a wee bit nervous. I'm sorry I could only score clergy passports.
-Oh Hudson...
-I told you not to call me Hudson. The only people who called me that were the nuns at...
-Oh Hudson, I'm a sister of the Catholic church as well as an agent.
-I hope you know what....
-Trust Leonardo....
-Da Vinci made the real directions in a secret script that I decoded. The way the machine is running now, the gold will produce too quickly, clog, and the machine will shut itself down. Isn't it wonderful?
-Yeah, but what would happen if that little mirror came out of the crystal.
-I wanna know...
-Have I ever told you the world is beautiful... I'd really like to play Nintendo with you, or something...
-Hudson, I'm afraid I'm sticking with God. But you're a close second, tough guy. What is that smile?
-Way to go, Anna.
-When the Mayflowers find out we have the Codex, they're going to want to make a deal...
-It's the site of their new museum and we're taking it over. Operation Deflower Mayflower is going full speed ahead.
-Oh Lord.... the only reason I ask is that Hudson, uh, Mr. Hawk, Hawkins, had some "neat" things to say about Darwin, Minerva, and you. Basically that you're part of the same car pool.
-Cat got his tongue?
-How many times do I have to say it? I didn't put the hit on Little Eddie... Never had anything against that kooky chimp. I actually found him, "endearing."
-You're hitting Rutherford's Auction House. Easy as my brother's wife. Directions are in the bag. Just open the seventh floor safe and take out the thingie...
-Hawk, you're a great thief. Got set up, did some time, nothing to be ashamed of. Don't give me a sonata about you always just really wanted to settle down, open a hardware Store and sell spatulas...
-What's your favorite sport, Hawk?
-Good job, not pretty, but good.
-Outbid by my own wench, quelle bummere.
-Hawkmeister, we got you clothes, great hotel, and a 250,000 lira per diem.
-We want Da Vinci's sketchbook, what do they call it, the Codex.
-Listen Hawk, this might be hard to believe, but I'm a regular joe. I just want to be happy and happiness comes from the achieving of goals. It's just when you make your first billion by the age of 19, it's hard to keep coming up with new ones. But now finally I got my new goal. World domination. With your help...Bunny....quit that!
-Haven't you ever seen, like David Niven? You know tiptoe in, tiptoe out.
-No, let me!
-So, Captain Hawk, in one of your paws you got a gold bar worth about 8 thou. In the autre, you got lead that won't get you gelato.
-Alchemy! Is the business term of the 90's, my man! Minerva read about it in an airline magazine about four years ago. I dumped some lira into research... Shazam, we come across a diary by one of Da Vinci's apprentices detailing La Machine de Oro, the gold machine for those at home, and the rest is about to become history. Money isn't everything, gold
-Market crashes. Bomb drops. Greenhouse effect affects. We'll still be the richest, most powerful people in the world. In 1992, Europe is coming together to become one business superpower. It's one party we'd love to poop.
-I look at you Soviet people and I feel... pity... superiority. Most of your life, your government has told you that Capitalism turns people into robots who'd rather eat microwave sushi, naked in the back of a Cadillac than hear the laughter of children.
-We're here to say, your government was right.
-I knew it! I told you it was a fake.
-That New-York-Italian-Father- made-twenty-bucks-a-week-son- of-a-bitch. What was our bet? A million?
-For those kind of wages, I could have built the factory in America! They're Vietnamese, can't we just give them more Bart Simpson shirts? I hear depressing news like this and I want to commit genocide! Alfred, hold my calls. So, Hawk! The Hawkster! What do you think of the vehicle?
-You could host American Bandstand in here. Why did you duck at the auction, asshole?
-So Hawkasaurus, I won't mince words...
-Whatever. You own Boardwalk, you own Park Place, you own the four railroads. You think you're God. For all I know, you're probably right. I just wanted to have a damn cappuccino, maybe play some Nintendo after I find out what it is. Man, why didn't you just <u>buy</u> the horse? What am I saying, you did buy it...
-Oh... Let's see. There are organizations that think we wanted the "Sforza" for reasons other than putting it in the Da Vinci museum we're building in Vinci. Hopefully, these organizations think our plan has been ruined with the explosion of our replica. If I seem vague, grand. We want a low profile on this, that's why I got Kaplan and the Candy bars involved.
-If you're pausing for a "thank you," give it up. So boss, you going to tell me what the crystal piece inside the pony means?
-Way to go, Alfie! How many people did you break that thing in front of. Good help's hard to find.
-Come to think of it there is a part of your body that you won't need for your next job...
-I'll torture you so slowly you'll think it's a career! I'll kill your family, your friends, and the bitch you took to the Prom!
-What a pleasant surprise. You're probably wondering...
-Have a seat. Good to see you, buddy ol' pal...
-Why do you show your parole officer such disrespect? Especially after I got you such a nice job.
-The auction house, asshole. One night's work and you're free like no ex-con's ever been. No checking in with a shrink, no community service teaching retards how to play air hockey. It's a great deal, I can't lie.
-You wouldn't be out if it wasn't for me! I did dog and pony for you! You think they would have let you out after what you did, you told the board members they looked like the Three Stooges...
-Remember that guy in the cell next to you who hung himself?
-Yes.
-Remember that shoe you lost...
-What else do you got under there ... I don't want to be rude, but this is all pretty lame.
-Hudson Hawkins gets the chair of honor. How about a Gates-arita? I used real hot dogs.
-All this trouble for a horsey. I may not know art, but I know what I like.
-You certainly do.
-Guess I know who wears the penis in this family.
-Anybody have a cigarette? But seriously, do me a favor and Concorde me back to prison. I don't care anymore. I hope you have the receipts for the threads.
-You go back, you won't be alone. You'll have a diabetic barkeep cellmate. You're still young enough to have fun shanking child molesters for a pack of smokes, but "Alex" will go in knowing that the next time he gets out it'll be to attend his own funeral. Depressing.
-Get away from there, convict!
-Big girls don't cry-I-eye.
-Cool, isn't it? Weight, feel, mal1eability, they're all but identical. On the periodic chart of elements, they're but one proton apart. Great minds worked for centuries to turn worthless into priceless.
-Sure. The Kremlin. Makes sense. The Kremlin. Why not? Listen, this is all too Indiana Jones and the Lost City of King Tut for me, man. Throw me in jail and go ahead, just try and throw Alex...
-Bunny, not you too?
-I hate a man with a sense of humor. While you corn dogs were comparing the lengths of your masculinity, we obtained the helicopter the new fashioned way: a thoroughly corrupt business deal.
-You killed a friend. Why should I help you go for the gold?
-It'll take a couple of years of steady production, but I'll flood the market with so much gold that gold itself, the foundation of all finance, will lose its meaning. Brokers, economists, and fellow entrepreneurs will drown in the saliva of their own nervous breakdowns. Markets will crash- crash. Financial Empires will crumble-crumble.
-Except yours-yours. The goal of world domination. Well, if you put it that way, Minnie. How can I resist?
-If you pull this off, I can't promise I won't kill you. I mean, who we trying to kid? But I will spare the Flying Nun here....
-And to think I thought you were Evil Incarnate in pumps.
-This is the worst night...
-You know Kaplan, if you weren't the slimiest pinata of shit that ever lived, I'd feel sorry for you.
-Good news, bud, the Mayflowers have moved up the time-table. You're hitting the Vatican to-night.
-Don't be stupid...they...
-Bastard! If you were a true American.
-Damnit, I hate this! I'm a cat burglar! Nobody said anything about this fight-to-the-death shit.
-Don't I know you...
-You just might. I'm the guy who tricked you into robbing a government installation and then had you sent to prison for it. At the time, I was bald with a beard, no moustache, and I had a different nose, so if you don't recognize me, I won't be offended.
-But I'm not the type of guy to hold a grudge.
-I used you as a diversion. while you were getting captured upstairs, I was shredding documents in the basement. Deep down, I guess I was just jealous. You were one incredible thief...
-I Want to make things up to you. That's why I got you this gig, doll. Hawk, my name's George Kaplan and to quote the late, great Karen Carpenter, "We've only just begun."
-Three minutes, twenty-three seconds. If you think I'm doing another...
-Hush. My employer wants a meeting.
-Employer? The president?
-No, somebody powerful. Oh. Look. what's that up there?
-I'm supposed to fall for that?
-Hawk, Hawk, Hawk. Enjoying Italy? I always had a soft spot for Rome. Did my first barehanded strangulation here. Communist politician.
-Why George, you big softie...
-Thanks for sharing.
-We blow up space shuttles for breakfast. You and your friend Alex would be a late afternoon Triscuit.
-If you do anything to my friend...
-Can't you see the Mayflowers double-crossed you...
-They may be scum, but if I get the Da Vinci model back, then we'll be roasting weenies on the beach.
-I can't believe this. I'm in fucking Russia, or do I have to say, the fucking Soviet Union and I'm shooting a non-Bolshevick. I never thought I'd say "I'm just in this job for the money." Sad. Any last immature quips?
-Why does this have to be so hard...
-We'll call it the Flying Donut!
-The Dancing Dingus!
-Something short.
-Sharp.
-Snappy.
-With a little jazz.
-The Shazzammeter!
-The Daddy-Oh!
-The Hoopsucker!
-The Hudswinger!
-The Hoop-dee-doo!
-My God, why?! Why did he do it?! Things were going so well!
-What am I a headshrinker? Maybe the man was unhappy.
-Nobody told me! Nobody told me! You sold all of our stock?
-We dumped the whole load. Now quit showboating, Addison --
-I had twenty thousand shares! I'd be a millionaire now!
-Sure, sure, we'd all be millionaires. There's no point in looking back. At the time, Stilson thought dumping our position would panic the market, further depress the stock -- then we'd buy it all back, and more of course, once it got cheap --
-Who are you? How did you know who I am?
-Ah guess ole Moses knows jes about ever'thing, leastways if it concerns Hudsuckuh.
-But -- who are you -- what d'you do here?
-Ah keeps the ol' circle turning -- this ol' clock needs plenty o' care. Time is money, Miss Archuh, and money -- it drives that ol' global economy and keeps big Daddy Earth a-spinnin' on 'roun'. Ya see, without that capital fo'mation --
-Yeah, yeah. Say, you won't tell anyone about me, will you?
-I don't tell no one nothin' lessen they ask. Thatches ain't ole Moses' way.
-So if you know everything about Hudsucker, tell me why the Board decided to make Norville Barnes president.
-Well, that even surprised ole Moses at fust. I didn't think the Board was that smart.
-That smart?!
-But then I figured it out: they did it 'cause they figured young Norville for an imbecile. Like some othuh people ah know.
-Why on earth would they want a nitwit to be president?
-...But I guess you don't really know him any better than that board does, do ya, Miss Archuh?
-Well, maybe I --
-An' only some kind a knucklehead thinks she knows things 'bout things she, uh -- when she don't, uh -- How'd that go?
-It's hardly the same --
-Why you don't even know y'own self -- you ain't exactly the genuine article are you, Miss Archuh?
-Well, in connection with my job, sometimes I have to go undercover as it were --
-I don't mean that! Why you pretendin' to be such a hard ol' sourpuss! Ain't never gonna make you happy! Never made Warin' happy.
-I'm happy enough.
-Okay, Miss Archuh. ...I got gears to see to.
-...Hello?
-And is this guy from chumpsville?! I pulled the old mother routine --
-Adenoids?
-I'm telling you, Smitty, the board of Hudsucker is up to something --
-About seven minutes.
-I'm tellin' ya, this guy's just the patsy and I'm gonna find out what for. There's a real story, Smitty, some kind of plot, a setup, a cabal, a -- oh, and say, did I tell ya?!
-He didn't offer you money.
-A sawbuck!
-Ten dollars? Let's grab a highball!
-Ol' satchel-butt...
--- and she's dynamite!
-Yeah, and I'll bet his initials are Sidney J. Mussburger!
-You've lost it, Aim. You've gone soft by the looks of it -- soft on the dummy from Dubuque --
-I'm sorry we had to take the stairs. It was just that horrible little elevator boy...
-Not at all. You're light as a feather.
-Hungry, anyway.
-What a horrible little person.
-Oh, Buzz is pretty harmless, really --
-A little naive perhaps but -- thank you -- armed with determination, a solid work ethic, and an indomitable belief in the future --
-Cigarette?
--- these were the values that were instilled in me while I was growing up in a little town you've probably never heard of --
-You're from Muncie?!
-...A Muncie girl! Talk about the cat's pyjamas! Tell you what, Amy. I'm gonna cancel the rest of my appointments this afternoon and get you a job here at the Hud.
-Oh, no, really, I --
-Oh, of all the foolish... Listen, do you take shorthand? Are you familiar with the mimeograph machine?
--- A Muncie girl! Can you beat that!
-Well, I just don't know how to thank you, Mr. Barnes --
-...Did you happen to see the front page of today's Manhattan Argus?
-Well, I... didn't bother to read the article. I didn't think the picture did you justice.
-The picture was fine! It's what that knuckle-headed dame wrote underneath! Of all the irresponsible... Amy, take this down: Dear Miss Archer. I call you 'Miss' because you seem to have 'missed' the boat completely on this one! How on earth would you know whether I'm an imbecile when you don't even have the guts to come in here and interview me man to
--- or lack thereof?
-Is that all, Mr. Barnes?
-...Well, you know me, Amy, at least better than that that dame does. Do you think I'm an imbecile?
-I'm sure I --
-Go on, tell the truth; I trust you and I put a lot of stock in your opinion.
-Well, I --
-...You know! For kids!
-...Why don't I just type this up...
-Aww, naw, Amy, that won't be necessary. I shouldn't send it; she's just doing her job, I guess.
-Well, I don't know; maybe she does deserve it. Maybe she should've come in to face you man to man.
-Well, she probably had a deadline...
-Sure, but -- she could still have gotten your side for the record!
-Confused?
-Yeah, you know, probably one of these fast-talking career gals, thinks she's one of the boys. Probably is one of the boys, if you know what I mean.
-I'm quite sure I don't know what you mean.
-Yeah, you know. Suffers from one of these complexes they have nowadays. Seems pretty obvious, doesn't it? She's probably very unattractive and bitter about it.
-Oh, is that it!
-Yeah, you know. Probably dresses in men's clothing, swaps drinks with the guys at the local watering hole, and hobnobs with some smooth talking heel in the newsroom named Biff or Smoocher or...
-Smitty.
-Exactly. And I bet she's ugly. Real ugly. Otherwise, why wouldn't they print her picture next to her byline?
-Maybe she puts her work ahead of her personal appearance.
-...What happened?
-Oh. Nothing, really, just... the more timid investors are no longer running for cover.
-Sid found me the icepack.
-Let me hold it, or you'll have a real shiner.
-Thanks. People seem to be pretty hot over this imbecile story.
-...I'm sorry.
-Norville... there's something I have to tell you. You see, I'm not really a secretary.
-I know that, Amy.
-...You do?
-I understand that you're not very skilled yet in the secretarial arts. I'm not that skilled as president. Oh sure, I put up a big front -- -- not that everyone's buying it.
-I believe in you, Norville -- At least I believe in your... intentions --
-Oh, I don't blame them, really. I guess I have sort of made a mess of things. These folks have to protect their investment. Most of them are very nice people --
-...Certain people are --
-Didja ever go to the top of old man Larson's feed tower and look out over the town?
-...Huh?
-You know, on farm route 17.
-Oh yes! In Muncie!
-No! In Vidalia! Farm Route 17!
-Uh -- Yes. Seventeen. Yes, I -- well no, I -- I never really... There's a place I go now, the cutest little place near my apartment in Greenwich Village. It's called Ann's 440. It's a beatnik bar.
-You don't say.
-Yes, you can get carrot juice or Italian coffee, and the people there -- well, none of them quite fit in. You'd love it -- why don't you come there with me -- they're having a marathon poetry reading on New Year's Eve. I go every year.
-Every year?
-...The people look like ants.
-Well, the Hindus say -- and the beatniks also -- that in the next life some of us will come back as ants. Some will be butterflies. Others will be elephants or creatures of the sea.
-What a beautiful thought.
-What do you think you were in your previous life, Amy?
-Oh, I don't know. Maybe I was just a fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys --
-Oh no, Amy, pardon me for saying so but I find that very farfetched.
-Norville, there really is something I have to tell you --
-That kind of person would come back as a wildebeest, or a warthog. No, I think it more likely that you were a gazelle, with long, graceful legs, gamboling through the underbrush. Perhaps we met once, a chance encounter in a forest glade. I must have been an antelope or an ibex. What times we must have had -- foraging together for sustenance, picking
-I wish it were that simple, Norville. I wish I was still a gazelle, and you were an antelope or an ibex.
-Yeah, I think I've heard of that. What goes around comes around.
-Oh, Norville --
-Kiss me once, Amy! Kiss me once for luck!
-For Pete's sake, Norville!
-Oh! Hello, Amy -- was it -- I thought she said, Mamie --
-...You know what those nincompoops in the boardroom are doing?
-Well, I wouldn't call them nincom --
-They're going to discharge eight percent of the work force here at Hudsucker. Why, in New York alone that means eighteen hundred people out of work, people with wives and children and families --
-Well yes, we're pruning away some of the dead wood, but if --
-You mean you know about this?
-Know about it? You think the Board would do anything like this without my authorization? No, this was my idea from the start.
-Your i --
-We have to be realistic, Amy. You know things have slowed down a little here at Hudsucker --
-...I've been watching you, Norville Barnes, even though you've been trying to avoid me --
-Now, Aim --
-Shutup! -- and don't think I haven't noticed how you've changed. I used to think you were a swell guy -- well, to be honest I thought you were an imbecile --
-Now, Aim --
-Shutup! -- but then I figured out you were a swell guy, a little slow maybe, but a swell guy! Well, maybe you're not so slow, but you're not so swell either and it looks like you're an imbecile after --
-Now, Aim --
-Shutup! -- after all! You haven't talked to me for a week and now I'm going to say my piece. I've got a prediction for you, Norville Barnes: I predict that since you've decided to dedicate yourself to greed and sloth and everything bad, you're going to lose all the good things that your good ideas brought you. You're going to throw them all
-Now, Amy --
-...You son of a --
-Norville!
-...Oh, it's you! Lookin' for a nitwit to buy your lunch?!
-Barman! Set'm up, fella!
-Norville, I'm sorry, I... I tried to tell you... so many times... It's hard to admit when you've been wrong. If you could just... find it in your heart to -- to give me another chance --
-Hey! Where's that martini?!
-Just give me another chance, Norville -- I can help you fight this thing. I know this last story was a lie! We can prove it! We can --
-Aww, what's the difference. I'm all washed up... When you're dead, ya stay dead... Hey, fella!
-I tell ya the guy's a phony.
-Phony, huh?
-As a three-dollar bill.
-Sez who?
-...On payday! The only story here is how this guy made a monkey out of you, Al.
-Yeah, well, monkey or not I'm still editor of this rag. Amy, I thought you were doing that piece on the F.B.I. -- J. Edgar Hoover: When Will He Marry?
-I filed it yesterday.
-I can't print this!
-Why not, it's all true! The board is using this poor guy! They're depressing the stock so they can buy it cheap!
-You don't know anything! Fact is they haven't bought it! The stock is cheap, Archer! What're they waiting for?
-Muncie.
-Whatever. That's what sells newspapers.
-I've got an even hotter story -- The Sap from the City Desk.
-Watch it, Archer --
-You can't print that!
-Archer, you're a broken record. Fact is Gunderson did design it -- apparently he's some kind of prodigy --
-Whatever! It's no dig on you, Archer, but this story is hot and you're no longer on top of it. Why, it's the scoop of the century -- the other papers won't have the Gunderson dope 'til tomorrow -- The Allemeinischer Zeitung, Le Figaro, they'll be choking on our dust come mornin' --
-You're fools, both of you! It's obvious they're out to crucify Norville! They're trying to destroy him!
-Just got hired today!
-Terrific.
-Ya know, entry level!
-Tell me about it.
-I got big ideas, though!
-I'm sure you do.
-Terrific.
-So ya see, I won't be in the mailroom long.
-How long've you been down here?
-I want a martini! It's New Year's Eve and I want a Martini!
-Daddy, it's like I been tellin' ya --
-Yeah, daddy, that's a roger, but we don't sell alcohol.
-What kind of bar is it if ya can't get a martini?!
-It's a juice and coffee bar, man, like I been tellin' ya --
-I want a martini! On this bar, right now! I've had a martini in every bar on the way down here, and I'm not about to --
-What the heck's she doin', Lou?
-You know what they're doin' now, Lou.
-This I know, Benny.
-...Geez.
-...It's the most beautiful t'ing I ever saw.
-...What's your pleasure, buddy?
-Forty-fourth floor, and it's very --
-Forty-four, the top brass floor say, buddy! What takes fifty years to get up to the top floor and thirty seconds to get down?
-I --
-Say, buddy! Who's the most liquid businessman on the street?
-Well, I --
-My pleasure, sir.
-Oh, uh... Buzz... Is it important?
-...Why, this is worthless.
-This is the most idiotic thing I've ever seen in my life!
-Yeah, but, buddy --
-...say, the hula hoop such a success.
-But, buddy --
-And what do you mean barging in here and taking up my valuable time! I've got a company to run here --
-But, buddy, you were --
--- I can't have every deadbeat on the Hudsucker payroll pestering me with their idiotic brainwaves!
-Geez, I'm sorry, buddy --
-Wuddya mean, buddy?
-Awwww, buddy --
-Aw, please, sir -- this job, it's all I got!
-Get up!
-I understand if ya don't like the Buzz-Sucker! Just lemme keep my job, I'm prayin' to ya!
-I'm sorry, buddy... I'm sorry...
--- Uh... Buzz, I'm sorry, I -- Buzz, you gotta forgive me! I shouldn't a fired you, I didn't know what I was doing! I was a little funny in the head, I --
-...You don't?
-Nah, that's all forgotten.
-...It is?
-Sure, Mr. Muss -- uh, Sid said I could have the job back.
-Absolutely, Buzz, I'm glad he --
-But he told me you stole that swell hoop idea from me. What gives!
-But, Buzz --
-Say, that was a swell idea!
-But, Buzz, you know I never --
-And Sid says you stole it!
-...Jesus Christopher -- That smarts... Where was I? Oh yeah, the board. I guess Sidney's been puttin' the screws to ya, huh, Norman?
-Norville.
-Mm. Well, say what you like about the man's ethics, he's a balls-to- the-wall businessman. Beat ya any way he can. Straight for the jugular. Very effective.
-Yes sir...
-Anyway. Any particular reason you didn't give him my Blue Letter? I mean, Jesus, Norman, just a dying man's last words and wishes, no big deal.
-Huh? Oh, geez, Mr. Hudsucker, I apologize, there was an awful lot of excitement and I guess I must've mislaid --
-Oh, geez.
-Failure to deliver a Blue Letter is grounds for dismissal.
-Geez, I --
-Ah, it's New Year's, I'm not gonna add to your woes. I'm just saying.
-Yessir.
-Well, why don't ya read it.
-Sir?
-Yeah, go ahead. Might learn somethin'.
-'From the desk of Waring Hudsucker. To. Sidney J. Mussburger. Regarding. My demise. Dear Sid. By the time you read this, I will have joined the organization upstairs -- an exciting new beginning. I will retain fond memories of the many years you and I -- '
-Yeah, yeah, it's the standard resignation boilerplate -- go down to the second paragraph.
-'...And so, Sid, the future does not belong to such as I -- nor even you. We have made our compromises with time. The future belongs to the young, who may more energetically wage the battle against corruption. Accordingly, in the spirit of hope, and the ringing in of the new, I hereby bequeath my entire interest in the company, and my seat on
-...Yeah, go ahead.
-...This'll only take a moment.
-Yeah?
-Good afternoon to ya, this is Norville Barnes --
-...Well, I'm not sure where I --
-I need that voucher! I told you a week ago it was important!
-But look, I'm president of the company now and I --
--- So we'd gone out to the Hamptons and the garden was in positive ruins!
-That must have been quite a disappointment, Mrs. Mussburger.
-I'm brushing up on my French with the most charming man, Pierre of Fifth Avenue. Do you know him?
-I haven't had --
-Well, frankly, I...
-...Who let you in?
-Tell him I'll be right there... Well, what is it?
-You, maybe you're the company's biggest moron. We can't use Morris, he's been with us too long, he's a nice guy, too many friends. Matter of fact, why don't you fire him. No -- scratch that; I'll fire him. ...Make it fast, make it fast.
-...You know, for kids! Which is perfect for Hudsucker -- not that I claim to be any great genius; like they say, inspiration is 99 percent perspiration, and in my case I'd say it's at least twice that, but I gotta tell ya, Mr. Mussburger, sir, this sweet baby --
-...education, were you?
-Well, I'm a college graduate --
-All right, but you didn't excel in your studies...?
-Well, I made the dean's list.
-At the Muncie College of Business Administration.
-...'Shnook'? 'Dope'? 'Dipstick'? 'Lamebrain'?
-No, sir.
-Not even behind your back?
-Sir! They voted me most likely to succeed!
-You're fired.
-But, sir! --
-But --
-My God! The Bumstead contracts!!
-You nitwit! I worked for three years on this deal!
-Why you nitwit. You almost destroyed the most sensitive deal of my career!
-Not that way! Through the door!
-Up on your feet! We don't crawl at Hudsucker Industries!
-My God! The Bumstead contracts!
-That reminds me, Mr. Mu... uh, Sid. I never did give you that--
-Relax, Norville. It's only natural in a period of transition for the more nervous element to run for cover.
-...You don't happen to remember the plan I outlined to you the day I set fire to your off -- uh, the day I was promoted?
-I do remember and I was impressed. Anyway, that's all forgotten now. Driver!
-Thank you, Sid, but the reason I mention it is, it would require such a small capital investment -- again, you're the expert here --
-Damnit, where's my car!
-Finally.
-...Congratulations, kid, you've really outdone yourself. Reinvented the wheel. I'm going to recommend to the Board that we proceed immediately with this, uh... with the, uh... that the dingus be mass-produced with all deliberate speed. Of course, as president of the company the ultimate decision is yours.
-Sorry I'm late, Sid. That back nine at Riverdale is really murder.
-Sure, sure, it's a tough course. Well thanks for coming, kid. I thought the board room would be a swell place to chat undisturbed -- it seems we're having some security problems here at the Hud.
-Ya don't say.
-Mm. Ordinarily I wouldn't bother you with it, but -- this is embarrassing, kid -- it seems to concern you directly.
-How's that, Sid?
-It's not important in itself -- some elevator boy you fired came to me claiming you'd stolen the idea for the, uh, the hoop dingus from him --
-Huh?! He -- no, I -- he's just -- maybe I was a little rough on the boy, ya see I --
-I got gas, Bennie.
-Yeah, tell me about it.
-No kiddin', Bennie. I got gas.
-Ya get the special?
-...Enter the dame.
-There's one in every story.
-Ten bucks says she's looking for a handout.
-Twenty bucks says not here she don't find one.
-She finds him.
-...and awduhs a light lunch.
-...No money.
-...He's not noticing, Benny.
-Maybe he's wise.
-He don't look wise.
-Yellowstone.
-Old Faithful.
-Hello, Niagara.
-She's got other problems, of course...
-...Her mother needs an operation...
-...adenoids.
-Maybe he's wise.
-She isn't!
-She's good, Bennie.
-Good morning, miss.
-Thank you for waking me.
-But I'm Miss Jessica's nurse, Alma. You don't have to do that for me.
-I know, miss. But I like to do it. I like to tend for Miss Jessica and I want to tend for you. You settle right back, now, and I'll mix you your coffee.
-Miss Jessica used to say this is the only way for a lady to break her fast -- in bed, with a lacy cushion to bank her head up. If you'd only seen her, Miss Connell. She looked so pretty.
-She must have been beautiful. What happened to her, Alma?
-She was very sick and then she went mindless, Miss.
-We'll see if we can't make her well, Alma, you and I.
-What's this?
-A puff-up, I call it. But Miss Jessica always says "brioche."
-Things so bad, nobody can help -- not even Doctor Maxwell.
-Doctors and nurses can only do so much, Alma. They can't cure everything.
-Doctors that are people can't cure everything.
-What do you mean -- "doctors that are people"?
-There are other doctors...Yes, other doctors...Better doctors...
-Where?
-At the Houmfort.
-That's nonsense, Alma.
-They even cure nonsense, Miss Betsy. Mama Rose was mindless. I was at the Houmfort when the Houngan brought her mind back.
-You mean Mama Rose was like Mrs. Holland?
-No. She was mindless but not like Miss Jessica. But the Houngan cured her.
-Are you trying to tell me that the Houngan -- the voodoo priest -- could cure Mrs. Holland?
-Times gone, Fort Holland was a fort...now, no longer. The Holland's are a most old family, miss. They brought the colored people to the island-- the colored folks and Ti-Misery.
-Ti-Misery? What's that?
-A man, miss -- an old man who lives in the garden at Fort Holland - with arrows stuck in him and a sorrowful, weeping look on his black face.
-Alive?
-No, miss. He's just as he was in the beginning -- on the front part of an enormous boat.
-You mean a figurehead.
-If you say, miss. And the enormous boat brought the long-ago Fathers and the long-ago Mothers of us all - chained down to the deep side floor.
-But they came to a beautiful place, didn't they?
-I think you need some help.
-I'm afraid so.
-I really intended going out to the Fort and meeting you long before this, Miss Connell. I'm Mrs. Rand -- Wesley's mother.
-Oh, Mrs. Rand --
-Believe me, Mrs. Rand, he doesn't do this often. This is the first time I've seen him --
-Thank you, Mrs. Rand. I think you're every bit as nice as Wes says you are.
-I'd love to.
-Use your influence with Paul. Ask him to take that whiskey decanter off the dinner table.
-I've no influence with Mr. Holland.
-Some of this native nonsense. The Houngan has his prescription and Dr. Maxwell and I have ours.
-You've never said anything about voodoo before, Mrs. Rand.
-Haven't I? I suppose I take it for granted. It's just part of everyday life here.
-You don't believe in it?
-A missionary's widow? It isn't very likely, is it?
-I don't mean believe, like believing in a religion. I mean, do you believe it has power? Do you think it could heal a sick person?
-Frankly, my dear, I didn't expect anything like this from a nice level-headed girl. What are you driving at?
-I heard the servants talking about someone called Mama Rose. They said she had been "mindless"...
-Mrs. Rand.
-Wait. Don't draw any conclusions. Let me explain.
-But, Mrs. Rand --
-I knew you'd come. And I knew I'd have to come up here and talk to you. I couldn't let you go back without any word. I came to tell you again -- Jessica cannot be cured.
-But how did you get here? What are you doing here?
--- and when my husband died I felt helpless. They disobeyed me -- things went from bad to worse. All my husband's dreams of good health, good sanitation, good morals for these sweet and gentle people seemed to die with him. Then, almost accidentally, I discovered the secret of how to deal with them. There was a girl with a baby -- again and
-But you didn't have to come up here.
-Why, Betsy -- we can't lose you. You mean too much to us here.
-Mrs. Rand...
-You must, Betsy. They'll have to believe you.
-Does she suffer?
-She can never be cured?
-I've never heard of a cure.
-Is this disease common in the tropics?
-I prepared these for you last night, Miss Connell.
-I've worked with it. I've seen cures. It is at least a hope.
-Miss Connell's testimony will be very important.
-You're single?
-Yes.
-Where were you trained?
-They didn't teach it at Memorial Hospital. I had my suspicions, though, about the Directress of Training.
-Very well. That means that you have met all Mr. Holland's requirements. Now, as to salary -- it's quite good -- two hundred dollars a month.
-That is good. But I'd like to know more about the case.
-I'm afraid I'm not able to tell you much. Only that the patient is a young woman -- the wife of a Mr. Paul Holland with whom we do considerable business.
-That will mean another interview, won't it?
-No, this is quite final. You see, Mr. Holland is a sugar planter. He lives in St. Sebastian Island in the West Indies.
-The West Indies?
-A year's contract -- a trip with all expenses paid -- that's not so bad, you know.
-But it's so far away...
-It seems we are having dinner by ourselves, Miss Connell. But I may as well introduce everyone to you, anyway. There -- in the master's chair, sits the master -- my half-brother Paul Holland. But you've already met him.
-Yes -- on the boat.
-And that chair -- is the particular property of Mrs. Rand -- mother to both of us and much too good for either of us. Too wise, in fact, to live under the same roof. She prefers the village dispensary.
-Is she a doctor?
-No -- she just runs the place. She's everything else -- amazing woman, mother. You'll like her.
-I like her already.
-And that -- is my chair. And this -- is Miss Connell -- who is beautiful.
-Thank you. But who sits there?
--- But, you're an American?
-I went to school in Buffalo. Paul went to school in England.
-I wondered about your different accents. I'm still wondering about your names -- Rand and Holland.
-As a matter of fact, it means the sugar syrup is ready to be poured off. You'll have to excuse me.
-Don't worry. I wasn't missed. The only important man here is the owner.
-Mr. Holland?
-Yes, the redoubtable Paul. He has the plantation, and I, as you must have noticed, have all the charm.
-I don't know. He spoke to me last night on the boat. I liked him very much.
-Perhaps you ought to get on to the mill.
-Where do you think you're going?
-It's my day off.
-But what in the world can you do with a day off in St. Sebastian?
-I was just beginning to wonder. Aren't there shops, restaurants and things?
-But don't you have to work?
-Bring me another, Ti-Joseph. I have to keep the lady entertained.
-It must be hard work entertaining me if it requires six ounces of rum.
-What in the world are you talking about? Six ounces -- ?
-Higher mathematics. Two ounces to a drink -- three drinks, six ounces.
-How do you know there's two ounces in a drink?
-Listen, did I tell you that story about the little mule at the plantation -- the little mule and Clement? Let me tell you. It's one of the funniest stories --
-Don't let it bother you so, Wes.
-I wish I hadn't heard --
-Why? Everybody else knows it. Paul saw to that. Sometimes I think he planned the whole thing from the beginning -- just to watch me squirm.
-That doesn't sound like him.
-That's right -- he's playing the noble husband for you, isn't he? That won't last long.
-I'd like to go now, Rand. Would you mind taking me home?
-Betsy, can I talk to you a minute?
-Does she suffer? Does she know what she is?
-I don't know. I once asked Dr. Maxwell the same question. He said he thought she was like a sleepwalker who would never waken.
-She hated sleep. She used to say it was a thief -- stealing away her life, an hour at a time...
-She's dead. The dead ought to be buried.
-But she's not dead, Wes.
-You know what she is! That's death -- no mind, no senses -- no love, no hate, no feeling -- nothing!
-No, Wes.
-It is not beautiful.
-You read my thoughts, Mr. Holland.
-It's easy enough to read the thoughts of a newcomer. Everything seems beautiful because you don't understand. Those flying fish -- they are not leaping for joy. They're jumping in terror. Bigger fish want to eat them. That luminous water -- it takes its gleam from millions of tiny dead bodies. It's the glitter of putrescence. There's no beauty here -- it's death and
-Have the servants made you comfortable?
-Can't I take it for you?
-I heard someone crying -- a woman --
-Why was the maid crying?
-I'm not sure I can make you understand. You know what this is?
-A figure of St. Sebastian.
-I made it clear in my letter to the company. This is not a position for a frightened girl.
-I am not a frightened girl.
-That's hard to believe, after what happened last night.
-If I were as timid as you seem to think, Mr. Holland, I wouldn't have gone into the tower in the first place.
-And what is so alarming about the tower, Miss Connell?
-Nothing -- really. But you must admit it's an eerie sort of place -- so dark --
-Surely nurses aren't afraid of the dark?
-A mental case?
-I'm sorry...
-You didn't find your patient so frightening in the daylight, did you?
-Mrs. Holland must have been beautiful ---
-I suppose so. Yes.
-And charming?
-I've never given it much thought.
-Good morning, Miss Connell.
-I heard about your little misadventure yesterday, Miss Connell. On your first "day off," too.
-Well, I had a good time up to a point.
-Wesley can be very entertaining.
-Yes, he can. But I've been wondering -- you know if you could leave the whisky decanter off the table --
-It's always stood there, Miss Connell. I can remember it in my grandfather's time and my father's. I'm afraid it will have to remain.
-But for Wes -- it must be a temptation to him.
-I've no sympathy with people who can't resist temptation.
-Still, I feel you should remove the decanter. Wes is not an alcoholic yet, Mr. Holland. But as a nurse I can tell you that it won't be long before he is.
-You don't seem very disturbed by it. I've always thought Voodoo was something to be scared of: the drums sounded in the hills and everybody was frightened.
-I heard you playing.
-I often do.
-I know what you went through tonight. I kept thinking of what you said: that all good things died here, violently.
-Why did you come in here?
-You have helped me. I want you to know I'm sorry I brought you here. When I thought of a nurse, I thought of someone hard and impersonal.
-I love Fort Holland.
-What you saw tonight -- two brothers at each other's throat and a woman driven mad by her own husband? Do you love that?
-You didn't drive her mad.
-Well?
-Don't take it to heart, Betsy.
-I've been waiting here for hours, trying to imagine Jessica well again -- wondering what I'd feel. I could see Jessica as she used to be, I could hear her say in that sweet mocking voice, "Paul, darling..." The whole thing beginning all over again...
-And instead, I came -- bringing you nothing.
-I wanted to help you.
-Help me? How?
-I took Mrs. Holland to the Houmfort. I thought they might cure her.
-You have deliberately endangered Mrs. Holland's life. There's no telling what you may have started with this insanity. Why did you do it?
-I told you.
-Because you wanted to give my wife back to me? Why should that mean anything to you?
-You know why. You saw it the other night at the piano. You turned away from me.
-You think I love Jessica and want her back. It is like you to think that -- clean, decent thinking.
-She was beautiful.
-I still can't believe it Paul -- that you wouldn't say a word in your own defense.
-I have no defense. So far as I know -- it is true.
-You can't believe that. You don't know what viciousness it would take to drive a person mad. You're not vicious or cruel, Paul.
-How do you know I'm not? I was cruel to Jessica. When I got to know her -- when I found out how empty and ungenerous she was, there was something about her -- something smooth and false -- that made we want to hurt her.
-I can understand that. Everyone feels that way about someone.
-You wanted to warn me...
-The night you came to me in this room -- to comfort me, to help me -- I turned you away.
-Don't, Paul -- don't doubt yourself -- don't make me doubt you.
-I remember words I said to Jessica - words mixed like to poison -- to hurt her, to madden her.
-That's past -- that's over and done with...
-I want you to be safe, Betsy. I want to know you're away from this place -- home again, where nothing can harm you -- nothing and no one.
-You want that?
-Considering that the paper is three months old and this isn't Sunday -- no thank you.
-I wouldn't worry too much, Commissioner. It'll pass. We've had this sort of thing before.
-This is something else. They're curious. Curiosity and religious fervor make a strange and explosive mixture.
-Wesley!
-I think I do. I've often talked a little voodoo to get medicine down a patient's throat.
-And what happened then, Mrs. Rand?
-I hated myself. I kept saying to myself over and over again that these people had no power; they had no strange drugs; that there is no such thing as a Zombie.
-Ah -- that's where reason took hold.
-Yes, I said it, and I made myself believe it. But when I got here, Jessica was already raging with fever.
-Two things had happened, Mrs. Rand. One was that your daughter-in-law had been taken ill with a fever. The other thing -- completely disconnected -- was that you had wished her ill, because she had hurt your sons.
-But I had no thought of harming her. It wasn't I...
-All that you say comes down to the same thing. You are asking me to pass a sentence of life or death on my own wife.
-Insulin shock treatment is an extreme measure, Mr. Holland. But -- as Miss Connell pointed out when she suggested it -- this is an extreme case.
-I don't know -- I don't know--
-It is a hard decision to make -- but yours is only a technical responsibility...
-But I assure you, Father Walters, Miss Connell had no idea of the consequences when she went there.
-An accident at the mill?
-No -- it's about Mrs. Holland. A result of our discussion the other day, I'm afraid.
-What about her?
-In view of all the circumstances, the commissioner has decided on a legal investigation.
-Investigation of what?
-Of the nature of Mrs. Holland's illness. And, of course, the events which led up to it.
-In other words, I'm on trial.
-I did everything I could to forestall this, Paul. I don't think there's any question of your innocence in the matter. But there's been too much talk. The thing's out of hand.
-Dr. Maxwell is right, Mother.
-Well, Jeffries, why come to us about it? Why don't you go up to the Houmfort and put a stop to the drumming and dancing -- that's what causes all the trouble.
-If I were as sure as you, Mrs. Rand, we wouldn't be here. I'll tell you quite bluntly: for the peace of the island and possibly for her own safety, we've come to ask you to send Mrs. Holland away to St. Thomas.
-To the asylum?
-I believe there's a kinder name for it, Wesley. At St. Thomas, it's called the Institute for Mental Therapy.
-I tell you he hasn't and he wouldn't dare use it if he had.
-Why?
-That could be a serious accusation, Rand, if it weren't a foolish one.
-Dr. Maxwell -- it's nice to see you.
-We're all in it. There won't be a shred of pride or decency left for any of use. Say something, Paul! You've always been good with words. Put some together, now, and tell us that you're not responsible -- that every damnable bit of it doesn't rest squarely on your shoulders!
-You're wrong, Wesley. The guilt is mine -- all of it.
-Are you going to lie for him, Mother?
-That isn't true. You never understood her.
-And speaking of which, you have those market share charts Mr. Shackley was asking about?
-Gotcha George, not a problem. Tomorrow. Hey, you want to start covering the old filmed entertainment sector yourself?
-Ben you know that's your territory - and I wouldn't dream to trespass - you're the expert. Hey, how do you think Paramount's gonna do with that Blatty novel, what's it called? The Exorcist?
-Overpriced bomb, cost over $6 million -- no stars, and no one's into the horror genre these days anyway. I'm advising the company recommend reducing positions there. It's disaster films that are gonna stay at the top.
-Brilliant. Hey, you heading out a little early today?
-Got a meeting uptown.
-Right o'.
-Benjie!
-Clair, George Clair! What the hell brings you to New Canaan?
-Well, it's the funniest thing. I've been talking to some investors -- a little outside venture, you understand, between you and me -- about a scheme to manufacture a new Styrofoam packaging. Little peanut like pieces that can really keep an item free from trauma during shipping. Miraculous. Anyway, it turns out the genius behind the whole project is your neighbor, Jim Williams. How
-Well, hey, isn't that a one-in-a million coincidence. A real dreamer, Jim Williams, eh?
-Darned right. Look here, Benj, whaddya make of this sequel to The Godfather? You think it's gonna work?
-Don't see how. I think the public's had its fill of this gangster stuff. No, trust me -- disaster pics. And air hockey.
-Well, gonna make a break for the hors d'oeuvres guy.
-Yeah, see you bright and early Monday am. Say, where's the wife?
-OK, OK, the defense rests. Want another?
-No thank you. We should be off.
-Don't be so modest, Ben. It's a job that requires a certain prescience with regards to entertainment trends. You were the first to predict that Billy Jack would be a hit --
-You're staring at me.
-I wasn't star--
-I've been thinking, Ben, about Wendy. I was going to ask if she'd come with me sometime to meet Dr. Woolens.
-That shrink -- the one you always wanted me to see? I thought you dropped him.
-I did, but -- somebody should probably see her, talk to her... You think she's ok?
-Then again, why should she be? I mean with us, with our...
-So maybe you'll come too?
-Oh not again Elena! If we've got problems, why can't you just come out and talk about them.
-It's you Ben who needs to talk. I've had my say, and I'm waiting to hear back from you.
-Yeah but Elena, even you don't believe all that "I'm OK. You're OK" stuff you keep babbling about -- you say so yourself. I've been all ears for about ten years now on his subject, and --
--- And you haven't moved out yet. It's because you're too lazy, Ben. Too scared or lazy to either deal with us or simply make a decision --
-Good night.
-The Halfords have invited us again this year.
-You want to go?
-What do you think?
-I'm, uh, going to bed.
-So early?
-Oh yeah. Musk, or something. You like it?
-You all right there?
-Oh. Sure, I -- Did you remember to pick up the cranberry sauce?
-Because you like it on your turkey sandwiches.
-I do. I'm -- are you...?
-I... I think I am...
-You know Elena, I've been thinking--
-You crying?
-I'm just sad Ben -- I mean it was... you were, but, you know. I just don't know...
-Whatever that means Elena -- And you complain about me not communicating... I thought it was --
-No, I didn't mean to sound negative. It was -- But Ben. What is going to happen with us? Have you --
-You have to bring this up now? What? Did I do something here? Is that it? Is it something I did?
-I wasn't accusing you, Ben. It's just that we've got to be honest. Not just with ourselves, but with the children.
-Yikes -- I was hoping to wear this thing to the Halford's Friday.
-That shirt?
-What?
-The turkey in?
-Dinner in ten minutes.
-In the basement over at Janey and Jim's. With that weirdo Mikey. Not even a TV on. And they're on the floor and he's got his trousers down though thank goodness she's still dressed. Well, I really let him have it! ... and Wendy came home peacefully... Hey, should I dress for the Halford's now, or - give me your -
-Up to you. I'd like to go early and leave pretty soon after that.
-I get you loud and clear... hey, you look nice.
-So what were you doing in the Williams' basement anyway?
-Oh, just dropping off a coffee cup. Jim left it, last time he was over. It was on the dash of the car. You were, you know, reading, thought I'd just catch some air. Let's eat.
-Oh right. The mustache coffee cup. The one that was sitting on the dash.
-Yeah, that one.
-What's for dessert?
-See for yourself.
-Don't start.
-You think I --
-I have no idea.
-What's on your mind? Don't --
-It wouldn't make a pleasant evening, if that's what you're after. I don't want to talk about it. Stupid mustache cup.
-What do you mean?
-Don't be dim.
-Elena, what are you're talking about?
-I'm not surprised.
-Listen, Elena, if you're gonna pull that passive aggressive stuff on me again --
-Your unfaithfulness -- that's what I'm trying to talk about. Your unfaithfulness. Your betrayal. Your dalliance. And you won't do me the dignity of being up front about it.
-Am I unfaithful? Is that what you're trying to say?
-It's a starting place.
-Well, what kind of faithfulness are you after?
-If you're going to insult me --
-Oh lord. You think I'm so dense. And now you want to be seen with your dense wife at the cocktail party. You want to wear that ridiculous shirt which doesn't go with those pants at all. You want to wear that, and you want me to shake hands with your friends and make conversation and dress up in an outfit that shows a
-Sure I do. Do I know what loneliness feels like? Sure I do. I know a lot about it, if that's what you mean.
-You've...
-In the car.
-This just isn't the best moment for this.
-I know, I know. I had no idea --
-That this was going to be a key party?
-Yeah, well, if we'd understood we could have invented some kind of excuse. A key party -- did you see how stuffed that bowl was already?
-Well?
-I think we're here and we don't have to stay -- we ought simply to put in an appearance and then we can head home.
-Damn it, Ben --
-I'm not staying at this party so we can go home with someone else's wife. That's not why we're here, right? We're simply being neighbors here, and I think we should do just that --
-You're not going to --
-I'm not.
-You have some marker, that's what I think, if you want to know the truth. You have some marker and you're going to put it on the house keys so that Janey can find them and then when I get back to the house I'll find the two of you in there and Wendy'll be able to hear you and Paul will be back
-Elena, it's not what you think. It's not a big plot. Honestly. Honestly. I don't know if you want to go over this now, but it's just something that comes over me. I don't feel good about it. I know I've done what I didn't want to do. I don't know --
-Well, I'm really pleased to hear a confession.
-Elena, you're just getting wound up to get wound up.
-Ready to go?
-Elena.
-Ben, I've got a ride home. Maybe you should sleep this one off on the couch here?
-I'll drive you --
-You'll get some sleep on the couch out there?
-Sure. I'll try. And we'll talk in the morning?
-Do you think? Maybe we should call someone --
-The phone's out.
-Yeah. Well, we can just --
-Oh you know, for a minute I thought it was --
-Hi dad.
-Hey guy. Things ok up there? You all right?
-I'm fine dad.
-Well good. Just confirming. You'll be on the 3:50 Wednesday afternoon.
-Well dad, actually I thought I'd take the morning train on Thanksgiving -- got a lot of studying, papers, you know, lab experiments --
-So how's school treating you?
-All right.
-Classes?
-Good.
-Grades?
-Fine.
-Anyone special? You know...
-Hnnn.
-Well it's good to see you -- we miss you around the house and all, but this St. Peter's, it's top of the line, eh?
-Yeah.
-About?
-Holy! Well. If you're worried about anything, just feel free to ask, and, uh, we can look it up.
-Uh, dad, you know I'm 16.
-Um, Paul. On second thought, can you do me a favor and pretend I never said any of that.
-Sure dad.
-See you.
-Ah let the guy have his fun. What's the name of this girl with the Park Avenue address?
-Libbets. Libbets Casey.
-It's like farming. I am basically chewing up large tracts of expensively landscaped scenery with overpriced sticks, and George Clair has obviously, in the mere two years since he joined the firm, he has obviously been taking secret lessons with a golf pro, and I assume the entirety of his disposable income has been devoted to humiliating me on the golf course. And the
-Ben--
-Yeah?
-You're boring me. I have a husband. I don't particularly feel the need for another.
-You have a point there. That's a very good point. We're having an affair. Right. An explicitly sexual relationship. Your needs. My needs. You're absolutely right.
-You should probably get dressed. The boys will be home soon.
-Here.
-After the Thanksgiving I had, I need it. You having one?
-Maybe it's all for the better, you know? Yesterday, at dinner, well, she hasn't said anything... has she acted funny to you, I mean, have you noticed anything?
-Have I noticed anything? I'm not married to her Benjamin, you are. I think you've probably a better vantage point from which to observe her.
-Huh?
-Birth control.
-Oh jeez, Benjie. Well, here you are.
-Damn right, but where the hell were you?
-What are you talking about?
-A prior engagement overcame me.
-What?
-Listen, Benjamin Hood. I have obligations that precede your... from before you showed up. One or two, you know, good-natured encounters, that doesn't mean I'm... I'm not just some toy for you. When I remembered some chores I wanted to get done before the party, I just did them, that's all, because I wanted to do them before I saw Jimmy.
-Jimmy? Jimmy? I don't know how to take this. And what do you mean, Jimmy? I thought you said you and your husband --
-How you take it isn't all that interesting to me, Benjamin. I'm sorry --
-Dad stop it!
-Fascist!
-Good-night dad.
-I'm picking up Paul at the station - want to come?
-Nah.
-What you been up to?
-... while children in Africa and Asia are napalmed and --
-What the hell are you kids doing down here?
-What do you think we're doing, dad?
-Talking to me, dad?
-Who else would I be talking to? And take that thing off!
-Well, then forget all this stern dad stuff.
-Look, kiddo, don't worry about it. I really don't care that much. I'm just not sure he's good enough, that's all.
-Huh?
-Your toes cold?
-He's probably been waiting all night at the station.
-We don't have to always go to your club, dad.
-And why are you still calling me dad? You're forty years old already, and --
--- Well what am I supposed to call you?
-I was actually trying to see about getting a little advice, you know --
-Advice? I'm supposed to be getting the stock tips from you, Ben. Unless - have you quit your job? They fired you?
-Actually it's not about work, it's advice about --
-Oh for crying out loud Ben, you don't mean to tell me that your marriage is going down the drain now --
-Well, Elena and I have kind of been talking, not really talking, but --
--- Your mother, God bless her, stood by me for forty-two years -- we never once contemplated divorce - I assume you're talking here about divorce? The very thought --
-But dad, you guys truly hated each other, I mean really hated each --
--- Waiter! Where's my cobb salad? You want advice Ben? If your big brother were still alive I'd have him go out into the back yard and beat some sense into your head. Look kid, you married that woman against my advice --
--- What advice? You never --
-That's besides the point. The point is if I'd had any sense in me I'd have divorced your mother 40 years ago, and that's the truth, and here it is, 1972 --
--- 73
-But...
-But what?
-It's not the taxes I object to. It's all the fines and penalties.
-Alright dad. But you sold the house, you didn't tell anyone, including the IRS, and I'd of certainly liked to have seen if there was any old stuff --
-Oh. Elena wanted to know when we could expect you on Thanksgiving. It's just going to be you this year.
-What?
-Jesus, Benjamin, you're still as gullible as ever.
-That was a joke? You don't tell jokes.
-Welcome to the Monkey House has been a seminal influence on me -- hey Benjamin -- give it a try? This stuff will make some sense out of those larger questions.
-Good shit.
-Sure is good shit. It's opiated. I had it in my chamber for a while. I was smoking this other --
-It's what?
-Don't fret, Benjie, it's --
-And to think -- they met at a key party of all things.
-A key party?
-Thank you Janey.
-Hello you two. Am I barging in on some kind of religious study group? Elena, you look marvelous. Will I see you and Ben at the Halford's?
-I suppose we'll make an appearance.
-Well, I have to say I don't have much faith that my car keys are still in that bowl. Doesn't seem entirely safe, leaving your car keys around?
-Thanks, but -- oh, I don't think so. It's been kind of a discouraging evening.
-You couldn't have hoped for much better when you came up the walk.
-You want coffee or something?
-Well, maybe they have one of those filter jobs in the kitchen --
-Look, Elena, the fact that we're neighbors... you know, close friends, well it sort of makes this a little strange, don't you think?
-Now don't make me feel as if I'm being too forward, OK? If you don't --
-What the hey. Let's go for a drive.
-Okay. Shall we clean up around here first? Do you think it's all right--
-Things are really rotten at home. You wouldn't believe how rotten. Janey's sick. She's unstable, I guess... it's not the right time to tell you... but that's it -- it's like I can't make her happy, the boys can't make her happy, she just doesn't --
-Jim, maybe we should just go. I've got to look in on the kids. Paul is supposed to be coming back in from the city.
-Jesus, let me make it up to you -- I can do better than that, honestly --
-Well, we can talk about it.
-That's fine. I wouldn't expect you to see it any other way.
-Maybe you just need -- look, can you wait here a sec, I need to tidy up -- just a minute, I'll be right back. You'll wait?
-You okay?
-Yeah. You?
-You want to come in, get a cup of coffee -- warm up? I can either walk you home, or you could crash in the guest room.
-Sure. Maybe coffee.
-Hi mom.
-I saw you on your bike today.
-With Mikey?
-Who?
-Nobody.
-Mikey Williams?
-Weightless almost -- as if I were seeing my own memories of being a girl. There was something internal about it.
-Mom. Are you ok?
-Wendy, of course. I'm sorry. You must think I'm ripe to be checked into Silver Meadows.
-You're not a psycho!
-The people at Silver Meadows aren't psychos.
-I know. They're rich drug addicts and celebrities. When I saw James Taylor there, and --
-We've been through this Wendy James Taylor was actually at that clinic up near Boston.
-Well, I saw what I saw, and if you don't want to believe me --
-They need the money for my band uniform at school.
-I thought you quit the band - I never hear you practice anymore.
-I don't really need to practice. I just play a few notes, you know, so I thought maybe I'd stay in.
-We're going to the Halford's. The number's on the calendar in the kitchen. We should be home around 11.
-Is it a big party? A big neighborhood party?
-I suppose. Why?
-Just curious. If there's a problem, I guess I'll just call you there to interrupt.
-Oh I thought I'd steal the station wagon, drive up to a commune. Or set the house on fire. You know.
-I don't like coffee.
-Please don't.
-It's not a bother.
-Oh.
-It's really quite all right.
-Thanks again. For the dinner.
-Thanks for eating it. I don't know why I even pretend I can cook.
-I used to know how to cook.
-I'm thinking of going back to school.
-Social work?
-How'd you know?
-Educated guess.
-I'm that predictable? No, you don't have to answer that. It's just that with the kids almost grown --
-Here you are.
-Thanks for the lift. If the bike's any bother--
-Elena. Elena Hood, am I right?
-Yes.
-Reverend Edwards. Philip Edwards. You came by and checked out the congregation a couple of times last year.
-Yes, it was -- I ended up --
-It's been a tremendously transformative year -- maybe a little controversial of course, but we're breaking down the old Unitarian barriers --
-I suppose my reluctance was the group aspect of it -- I've never been much of a joiner, although I still consider myself a somewhat religious person --
-My daughter. I haven't been on a bike for years. When was the last time you rode a bike?
-They say you never forget.
-Forget what?
-In many ways, the church-bound tradition of the father, son, and holy ghost is simply a version of the parent-child-adult triad within us all. It's a primitive set of symbols for our inner psychology.
-You're saying that Christ is the child, and --
--- And God the angry parent, and the Spirit the hope of an integrated adult self.
-All well and good -- But tell me again what is it exactly that you believe in?
-You ask what the point is?
-That's right.
-Self-realization. Ministering to help people reach their fullest potential. Would you believe me if I told you I want you to see yourself reach your fullest potential and self-realization?
-I would say it sounds like you're trying to get me into bed.
-If that's a potential you see yourself fulfilling... I mean... My, I sound a bit --
-I'm sorry. That was stupid of me. I didn't mean to be so rude.
-You weren't. You actually, for some reason, you have the effect on me of making me feel just a tiny bit ashamed of myself.
-But not too ashamed.
-Now you are being rude.
-And you're still trying to get me into bed.
-I'm afraid she's something of a gossip, isn't she?
-I'm afraid people around here provide her with quite a bit to gossip about. Take care.
-Reverend Edwards.
-You're here... I'm a bit surprised.
-Sometimes the shepherd needs the company of the sheep.
-Arise and shine, young Hood.
-I hope you changed the water in that bong from last night.
-Waste not Master Hood -- that was $20 for the bag.
-Man, Francis, you are one drug addled elitist freak, and when the revolution comes I do not want to be lined up with you and shot, 'cause you're fucking ripe for political reeducation, you know, like in the fields.
-Paul, cancel your mental appointments, baby. What are you, like still stoned from last night?
-No more man. I'm about to drop as it is.
-See ya.
-Where you going?
-Paul, let me enlighten you about something. You and I exist on two opposite sides of a great existential divide, that being your pathetic virginity on the one hand and my astonishing number of sexual conquests on the other. I'm off to get laid. See you.
-Flame on, asshole.
-How can you do that man?
-Do what?
-Sleep all day. I mean, look, it's already getting dark outside, and you're just getting up.
-Um, Libbets Casey.
-What?
-Aha! I could sense the vibe.
-What do you mean?
-Am I right or am I right?
-Shit. You're not planning --
-You oughtta read this Hood, Nixon, our leader, all ye need know about the travails of life. Check out the Checkers speech stuff.
-Francis. You gonna leave the seeds in there? In the binding like that?
-Huh?
-And whence has yon virginal maiden absconded?
-Check it out. Not for the faint of heart.
-Pharmaceutical! You are a god.
-Awesome sleet and rain.
-Major.
-Everything's gonna freeze, the big freeze.
-No candy for me?
-Come on Paulie, share the wealth. You copped 'em from her mom's stash anyway.
-Jesus, Jim!
-Sorry honey. Hell, we've got to trade this thing in for a normal bed.
-Just be careful.
-You notice anything with Mikey lately? The kid seemed a little out of it tonight, eh?
-Tonight? Jim, he's been out of it since he was born.
-Hey. I'll take this stuff.
-You going to tell dad?
-Would it matter? And what's that?
-You know, it's the whip -- the one uncle Frank got me from Mexico.
-It's not packed with explosives, is it?
-No!
-Um, Libbets. Hey, Dostoyevsky, I'm also really a fan, and what you were saying, you know, have you ever read The Idiot?
-The Idiot?
-If you liked Notes from Underground, you'll love The Idiot.
-Great, thanks for the tip.
-Frankie opens them with his teeth.
-Well, uh, I don't, it's really --
-Maybe you should have just a half.
-Yeah.
-You know Libbets, I really feel, you know, like a real connection to you --
-Yeah but you don't even know me really.
-Sure I do, you know, like your aura. That you give off.
-My what?
-It's like very positive, and I feel a real special feeling, because you really --
-And I have a special feeling too, because I do. It's special.
-You do? I'm glad. Because I feel for you --
-I do.
-Right. Cool. So, how about we take a bath together?
-I'm in love with Libbets Casey.
-Yeah, well, you've been in love with like every other girl here, I was wondering when you'd get around to Libbets.
-It's beyond mere physical attraction.
-That's good, because I don't think Libbets is capable of the sex act.
-Truly? Do speak.
-My diagnosis is messed in the head. A poor little rich girl -- I mean check out the jeans and fur look. And lend your ears to this brutality. Like her mom and step dad and her step-sisters are going to Switzerland to ski over Thanksgiving break -- and like they didn't invite her!
-How do you know this shit?
-They did it last year too. It's like traditional or something. They've got this humongoid Park Ave apartment and she just holes up there with a wad of cash. Aren't the hugely wealthy sad?
-You think Francis is going to beat me to the punch here?
-Since he sleeps with every girl you ever show an interest in, why don't you just keep your Libbets thing a secret from him?
-Stupid! Is Wendy Hood your girlfriend?
-Who said so?
-No one.
-Mikey?
-Yeah?
-Geometry?
-Why are you so good at math but not in English?
-Where you going?
-Out.
-It's freezing.
-Want some gum?
-Sure. Twinkie?
-Did you tell Sandy?
-I don't ever want to see you.
-You have to follow me?
-See, no one's here. Maybe you want to go to the basement?
-Maybe we can just watch some TV.
-Maybe we can mess around. You know, only if you want to...
-I don't know.
-Why did you -- with Sandy?
-I don't know.
-Wow!
-When worlds collide.
-Huh?
-You're parents at that party?
-Yeah. Yours?
-You get in trouble?
-Maybe. Can't really tell yet.
-I'm sorry if I got you into trouble. Maybe we don't have to, you know... unless you really want to.
-Charles.
-Charles. Have you been keeping out of my shit? Have you refrained from entering the sacred precincts of my room?
-I have not touched your sh-- Stuff. You watching this?
-Watching what?
-Hello, Charles.
-How are the parental units functioning these days?
-Dad's like doing his Up With People routine, mom hasn't been saying much.
-I don't know. Dad seems a little weird.
-May I operate your telephonic apparatus?
-Why don't you use the phone downstairs?
-Calling an individual, Charles, in New York. Confirming a social outing for Friday night.
-Can I come?
-It's a one-on-one kind of date thing.
-With who?
-Her name's Libbets.
-Hood residence.
-Charles, what time is it?
-Is this Charles?
-What time is it?
-Um, ten-o-five. Why? Where are you?
-I'm, uh, in the midst of a moral dilemma. And I was wondering, because I know you're a very moral person, and --
-And?
-Shit. I can't really talk about it. I guess I better get to the train.
-Right.
-What are you doing at home on a Friday night?
-Hey Wendy.
-Hey Sandy.
-Mikey was looking for you.
-Well, you can...
-Hey Sandy, what were you blowing up out there? Your mom was pretty p.o.'d.
-All my model planes.
-The ones you built?
-They were old. And they couldn't fly anyhow. I'm going to get a radio-controlled airplane at Christmas, and then I'll stuff it full of m-80s and then fly it into Mrs. Burgess's English class and blow it up.
-I have to go to the bathroom.
-Sandy, you scared the shit out of me.
-What are you doing?
-Just thought I'd stop by.
-Mike's out -- I think he went to Silver Meadow to see if you were hanging around there.
-Yeah.
-Are you his girlfriend?
-He's dead.
-If it wasn't raining we could take him outside and blow him up.
-Well. It looks like someone got to his private parts before us.
-Communist Viet Cong.
-We -- we have to go to the guest room. We can't stay in here. What if Mikey? My parents?
-Want a drink?
-Vodka?
-It feels warm.
-One more shot?
-Have you ever had a nocturnal emission?
-Huh?
-I love you.
-That's nice. Are you drunk?
-I don't know. How do I know?
-Yes, sir.
-Didn't want to miss anything.
-Detective Dormer's not leaving for a few hours.
-Good.
-Maybe you could drive him to Spencer's.
-Just after Leland Street.
-Nice kid.
-So far.
-What's the D.A. got them on?
-That's I.A.'s pit bull.
-And then I lost him. In the fog.
-Will, you can't blame yourself.
-I had him!
-I have to get back.
-My partner...
-You did your homework, Officer.
-Guess that's what they call Alaskan hospitality.
-Don't give misdemeanors a bad rap.
-But they're so boring. All small stuff.
-Typical seventeen year-old. She went to a party Friday night?
-I want you to check this out, Ellie.
-We already did.
-Do it again.
-Who's that?
-The bartender at Darrow's. He was there Friday night.
-This murder was in the papers, right?
-Yeah. All over.
-I could say the same thing about you.
-Oh. We always have play-offs in the middle of the night. It's the best time.
-Who's playing?
-She your only sibling?
-Oh, I shouldn't have...
-It's okay. Happened a long time ago. He was killed in a fire. In New Mexico.
-I'm going back to the Lodge, Ellie. Still need to go through some of Kay Connell's school records.
-But here's the thing. I retraced your exact steps according to your statement. You couldn't have seen Detective Eckhart from there. I mean, not in that fog.
-Then change it.
-How much closer would you say you were?
-I don't remember.
-Duggar called him?
-Not really.
-It's legitimate.
-Walter Byrd killed Kay Connell. Her things are in the house.
-I know.
-No. But I covered it up. I lied.
-What about your shoulder?
-Sorry about...
-Thanks.
-I wish I'd had the chance to get to know him better. Take him fishing or something.
-He would have liked that.
-We just gotta catch the bastard, right?
-That's why I'm here. I need to know exactly what you saw yesterday, Farrell.
-What I saw?
-Oh, you know. Don't feel that much. Bullet went right through.
-Right. Got lost in the rocks.
-No.
-No fibers, skin flakes, hairs...
-She left the party early. Friends said she had a fight with her boyfriend and stormed out.
-What time was that?
-Who was the last one to see her alive?
-We're sure it's hers?
-I'll stick it in the evidence locker...
-What are you doing here?
-Dormer. Still no sign of the bullet that went through Farrell.
-I'll call him now.
-Forget your pager?
-What?
-Good.
-No.
-That's right.
-Mrs. Connell found this copy in the house. It's signed. Personally.
-So?
-Where you signed this?
-That's right.
-What happened at that signing?
-She flattered me about my writing. Asked if she could visit me. To talk about my books.
-Did she?
-She wasn't happy. I was someone to talk to.
-How do you mean?
-Randy Stetz?
-Are you sure about that?
-Eight years.
-They're all over everybody.
-He knew exactly what we'd be looking for. Made sure to cover up all his tracks.
-What do you want to talk about?
-We'll talk when we get back to Seattle.
-When's that, a week? Two weeks?... We have to figure out a plan of action now.
-You know my plan of action.
-To do nothing.
-That's right.
-Dammit, Will. Warfield had me locked up in his office again for five hours yesterday. <i>Five</i> hours. Asking all kinds of questions...
-He's asking everybody questions.
-But he's zeroing in on <i>me</i>. On <i>us</i>. Everyone's talking about it.
-He's just rattling your cage.
-Well, I gotta tell you. With a wife, three kids, and a pension plan in the balance, it's rattling hard.
-Weston Dobbs killed an eight year-old boy and left him hanging in the basement like a piece of meat. You remember that?
-You know I remember that.
-One word to I.A. and he walks.
-Maybe not. We could talk to Buck...
-No way.
-Cut some kind of a deal. I heard that's what Flynn's doing...
-Well her mother didn't buy them for her.
-Looks like the natives are restless.
-I wish I could stick it out like you. I just, with Trish and the kids...
-I'm thinking I could get off with probation. Keep half my pension. That's all I want.
-Goddammit, Hap. Think about what you're doing...
-You don't have to be involved, Will.
-Your friend's all business.
-I got it. Don't know why I bother. It's been broken for two years.
-Fred Duggar?
-No. He didn't say what his name was. Only that you were expecting him.
-I'm not expecting anyone.
-That's not what he thinks.
-Will...I...
-What is it?
-One of your cases?
-Will.
-What if someone finds out?
-Did you love her?
-Huh?
-"She was nice." Wow. That makes me all soft inside. Ever occur to you she didn't love you back?
-Huh?
-You heard me that time.
-She loved me. She wanted to see me every night.
-I don't know what you're fucking talking about.
-Friday night, at the party - what'd you fight about?
-Stuff.
-What kind of stuff?
-Just stuff. I don't fucking remember.
-The other guy?
-I told you I don't remember.
-After that she left the party to go to him.
-How should I know?...
-Ran like hell to go to him...
-I don't know.
-You don't know.
-Thought I smelled something.
-I never met anyone from Seattle before.
-You're not missing much.
-I was her best friend.
-Best friend?
-Since grade school.
-That's a long time.
-We were like sisters. Knew everything about each other.
-You want me to take you somewhere?
-Hey...
-You and Kay were like sisters?
-That's what I said.
-No...
-I don't know.
-You don't know.
-She wouldn't tell me!
-It was like some big fucking secret!
-What was?
-She kept saying she was gonna get out of here. Leave us all behind. That <i>he</i> was going to take her!
-Who?
-My arm!
-Who?
-She used some stupid code name.
-What was it?
-No game.
-I'm sorry?
-I said you're going to get a phone call.
-Oh?
-Kay Connell had a signed copy of one of your books.
-Thought you might find that.
-Down at the station?
-She was only seventeen.
-But she was an attractive girl.
-I suppose.
-No.
-But you wanted to.
-You gave her gifts.
-Yes.
-Expensive dresses. A heart necklace.
-Yes.
-Doesn't sound like a mentor to me.
-What about him?
-Randy Stetz is in jail.
-Told you I could write an ending.
-I thought maybe we could talk some more.
-There's nothing more to talk about.
-What the hell do you know?
-I told you that was an accident!
-Then so was mine...
-Don't you pull that shit with me.
-Couldn't get it up, Walter?
-Yes. Like that.
-This an accident, Walter?
-Where's your back-up?
-No back-up.
-You're not following procedure.
-Wild card.
-Monstrous.
-Yes, and very beautiful.
-Your lips, they didn't move.
-Disappointing, isn't it? To come so far and find so little. Jaded ingenues, amusing themselves with make- believe...
-We had feared we were the only ones...
-You don't want to answer... Two vampires from the new world, come to guide us into the new era as all we love slowly rots and fades away.
-Are you the leader of tis group?
-So you have the answers...
-Ah! You have questions?
-What are we?
-Nothing if not vampires...
-Who made us what we are?
-Surely you know the one who made you...
-That is a picture, nothing more.
-You mean we are not children of Satan?
-I understand. I saw you in the theatre, your suffering, your sympathy for that girl. I saw you with the boy. You die when you kill, you feel you deserve to die and you stint on nothing. But does that make you evil? Or, since you comprehend what you call goodness, does it not make you good?
-Then there is nothing.
-And perhaps this is the only real evil left...
-Then God does not exist...
-I have not spoken to him...
-And no vampire here has discourse with God or the Devil?
-My God... So it's as I always feared. Nothing, leading to nothing.
-The one who made you should have told you this. The one who left the old world for the new...
-He knew nothing. He just didn't care.
-I was waiting for you...
-Claudia is dear to me. My... daughter.
-Your lover.
-No, my beloved, my child.
-If you say so. You are innocent.
-I'm not innocent. But I'm afraid. She feels she's in danger from the others.
-She is.
-But why?
-I could give you reasons. Her silence. Her youth. It's forbidden to make so young, so helpless, that cannot survive on its own.
-Then blame the one who made her...
-Did you kill this vampire who made you both? Is that why you won't say his name? Santiago thinks you did.
-We want no quarrel with him.
-It's already begun. If you want to save her, send her away.
-So soon? Without any of those answers you so longed for?
-You said there were none.
-But you asked the wrong questions. Do you know how few vampires have the stamina for immortality? How quickly they perish of their own will.
-We can do that?
-You would never give up life. If the world were reduced to one empty cell, on fragile candle, you stay alive and study it. You see too clearly. You see too much.
-That's what the one who made me said.
-And the vampires of the Theatre?
-Are these not the answers you came for?
-Yes... My God...
-A vampire with a human soul. An immortal with a mortal's passion. You are beautiful, my friend. Lestat must have wept when he made you --
-Lestat! You knew Lestat!
-Where is she? Where's Claudia?
-Not without Claudia. Where is she?
-I can't save her.
-You can't believe I'd leave without her. Armand! You must save her! You have no choice.
-I couldn't prevent it.
-I don't believe you. I do not have to read your soul to know that you lie.
-Louis, they cannot be brought back. There are some things that are impossible, even for me.
-You held sway over them. They feared you. You wanted it to happen.
-Louis, I swear I did not.
-You didn't even warm them, did you?
-No.
-And yet you knew what I would o.
-I knew. I rescued you, didn't I? From the terrible dawn.
-You were their leader. They trusted you.
-Your melancholy eyes...
-What a pair we are. We deserve each other, don't we?
-More.
-I want some more.
-I'm not your daughter.
-Why always on this night?
-What night? What do you mean?
-You always give me the doll on the same night of the year.
-I didn't realise.
-Some of these are so old and tattered. You should throw them away.
-I have. Or there would be twice as many.
-But you're the fairest by far.
-Which of you did it? Which of you made me the way I am?
-What you are? You would be something other than you are?
-And if I cut my hair again?
-It will grow back again!
-You made us what we are, didn't you?
-Stop her Louis!
-Why yours alone? Tell me how it was done!!!!
-What is it now? You irritate me! Your very presence irritates me!
-Does it?
-Yes. And I'll tell you something else! I've met someone who will make a better vampire than both of you.
-Is that supposed to frighten me?
-You're spoilt because you're an only child. You need a brother. Or I do. I'm weary of you both.
-I suppose we could people the world with vampires, the three of us.
-Not you my dear.
-You're a liar. But you upset my plans.
-What plans?
-Stop pestering me then!
-Oh, Lestat. I must do more than that. I've brought a present for you.
-Oh, Claudia, you've outdone yourself. Where did you find them?
-Drunk on brandy wine. A thimblefull. I thought of you when I saw them.
-Absinthe? You gave then absinthe?
-Laudanum!
-Don't Louis --
-Louis, put me in my coffin...
-I want more.
-How did you learn to write, Claudia?
-But you never let me see you kill, Louis.
-Lestat taught you all you need to know about that.
-Infant death, he calls me. Sweet daughter death. You know what he calls you? Merciful death.
-He jests.
-Why does he call you that?
-Claudia! You did that?
-You want me to be a doll forever?
-Claudia - don't -
-We're immortal. You've always known that.
-You see the old woman? That will never happen to you. You'll never grow old. You will never die.
-You... fed on me?
-And he found me with you. I ran, sickened at what I'd done. Then he cut his wrist and fed you from him. I tried to stop him, but you were a vampire then. And have been every night hereafter.
-You both did it?
-But now's the time to end it, Louis. Now's the time to leave him.
-Lestat. Oh, God forgive us.
-He's dead, Claudia, dead.
-Should we burn him? Bury him? What would he have liked, Louis?
-Don't mock, Claudia...
-In Europe, Louis. We shall meet our own kind. Find the one who made him. Learn what it means.
-He belongs with those reptiles, Louis. He deserved to die.
-Then maybe so do we. Every night of our lives. He was my brother. My maker. He gave me this life, whatever it is.
-Louis, look at me.
-You never talked to me like that - in all these years.
-And you never cried -
-Hush, Claudia, hush now my dear -
-What was that?
-It can't be -
-The ship is sailing wihout us!
-How do I look?
-A beautiful child! Is that what you still think I am?
-You want me to be your daughter forever, don't you?
-Yes.
-You don't remember? Or you never knew.
-It was something hurries...and seldom savoured... something acute that was quickly lost. It was the pale shadow of killing.
-Or her, or her - or any of them?
-Claudia, you torture yourself.
-They are ducklings, that will grow into swans. Whereas I must be the duckling forever.
-Are they my kind Louis? Dolls never change either.
-You know her?
-Yes. Should I take her, Louis? Among her dolls? make a doll of her in turn?
-But this can't be real. This is nonsense.
-Mortals, mortals everywhere. And lots of drops to drink.
-They use no paint. And the audience think it is paint.
-She's no vampire.
-This is no performance.
-This is monstrous!
-I've seen enough of this! I loathe it!
-I lothe them! I can't stand the sight of them! Stupid bourgeois Parisians, all dressed in black like some private club! I've searched for them the world over and I despise them!
-What danger?
-Do you think I would let them harm you?
-No, you would not, Louis. Danger hold you to me.
-Love holds you to me. And we are in danger, not you.
-You would leave me for Armand if he beckoned you.
-Never.
-He wants you as you want him. He's been waiting for you. He wants you for a companion. He bides his time that place. he finds them as dull and lifeless as we do.
-That's not so.
-Do you know what his soul said to me without saying a word? When he put me in that trance...
-So you felt it too!
-He can protect us, Claudia.
-How do we seem to you? Do you think us beautiful, magical, our white skin, our fierce eyes? Drink, you ask me! Have you any idea of the thing you will become?
-Your evil is that you cannot be evil! And I will suffer for it no longer!
-Don't make me, Claudia! I cannot do it!
-Oh God! I love you still, that's the torment of it. But you know I must leave you Louis...
-Yes...
-She is dying. It happened to you too, but your child's mind can't remember.
-But if she dies...
-Bear me no ill will, my love. We are now even.
-What do you mean?
-They would have killed you -
-Then my luck would have changed.
-You want death? Is it death you want?
-Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?
-You're not afraid of anything, are you?
-What do you want from me?
-Diane!!!!
-They are gone, Louis. Death took them. Death which you can now destroy...
-You have to ask me for this. You have to want it, do you hear me?
-Give it to me!!!
-Vampires. We thrive on blood.
-You let your overseer run riot, work your slaves to the bone. We'll start with him.
-How do you mean, start?
-Let's call that a start.
-I can't do it.
-You've just done it -
-Don't worry. He was white trash, they come at two a penny. I dumped him in the swamp and untied the slave, licked his wounds clean.
-You're the devil, aren't you? That's who you are.
-I wish I were. But if I were, what would I want with you?
-I can't go through with it, I tell you.
-Your perfect. Your bitter and you're strong.
-But why do you want me?
-You really want to be with them?
-Yes. Kill me. Kill me like you promised -
-Did I hear a yes?
-You're sure?
-You're body's dying. Pay no attention. It will take twenty minutes at most.
-Come, you're going to feed now.
-Take him.
-The crucifix -
-What have I done?
-Dear God, what have I done?
-Yes, that's you, my handsome friend. And you'll look that way till the stars fall from heaven.
-It can't be...
-You must get into it. It's the only safe place for you when the light comes.
-And if I don't?
-You'll get used to killing. Just forget about that mortal coil. You'll become accustomed to things all too quickly.
-I know. It gets cold so fast.
-There's nothing in the world now that doesn't hold some...
-Fascination...
-But we can live without taking human life. It's possible.
-Have you ever been caught?
-The trick is not to think about it. See that one? The widow St. Clair? she had that gorgeous young fop murder her husband. She's perfect for you. Go ahead.
-But how do you know?
-Read her thoughts.
-I can't.
-What have you done to me? You've condemned me to hell.
-Consider yourself lucky. In Paris a vampire has to be clever for many reasons. Here all one needs is a pair of fangs.
-Paris? You came from Paris?
-As did the one who made me.
-Tell me about him. You must have lernt something from him! It had to happen for you as it did for me!
-I learnt absolutely nothing. I wasn't give a choice, remember?
-They know about us. They see us dine on empty plates and drink from empty glasses.
-Come the New Orleans then. There's an opera on tonight. A real french opera! We can dine in splendour!
-I respect life, don't you see? For each and every human life I have respect.
-You fool, what have you done?
-Where are we?
-We belong in hell.
-What, no flowery speeches? About what a monster I am? What a vulgar fiend?
-I'm not interested in you. You disgust me. I'm interested in my own nature and know I can't trust you to tell me the truth about me.
-What do you imagine you are Louis?
-I don't pretend to know.
-Lestat, she's alive!!!!
-The girl, Lestat -
-Why do you do this Lestat?
-Lestat - finish this -
-Unless I make her one of us...
-NO!!!
-My God... to think you... are all I have to learn from...
-Pain is terrible for you. You feel it like no other creature because you are a vampire. You don't want it to go on.
-Do what it is in your nature to do. And you will feel as you felt with that child in your arms.
-Oh God Lestat. I felt peace. I felt an end to the craving.
-Evil is a point of view. God kills, indiscriminately, and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are, none so like him as ourselves.
-Is God merciless? Greedy and cruel?
-She's here, your wounded one.
-What are you saying?
-Lestat!
-You remember how you wanted her, the taste of her -
-I didn't want to kill her.
-Claudia, Claudia, listen to me. You're ill, my precious and I'm going to give you what you need to get well.
-You are the devil! You are the instrument of Satan!
-Your mama's left you with us. She wants you to be happy.
-You are the devil! You are the instrument of Satan!
-Claudia, Claudia, will you never learn? Who will we get now to finish your dress? A little practicality, cherie...
-Claudia! Don't do this thing!!!
-No... You come back to me Louis...
-You'll come home with me Louis? Fro a little while... until I am myself again.
-I'm so glad you're here Louis... I've dreamed of your coming...
-Don't try to speak... it's alright...
-I didn't mean to let them do it... that Santiago, he tricked me...
-That's all past, Lestat.
-Still beautiful Louis. You always were the strong one.
-Don't fear me, Lestat. I bring you no harm.
-It's only a siren...
-I can't bear it Louis! The machines out there, that fly and that roar! And such lights! They make the night brighter than the day!
-And they frighten you?
-You know I love the dark. But there's no dark anymore.
-It's false light, Lestat. It can't harm you...
-I have to go now Lestat...
-You remember how I was, Louis.. the vampire Lestat...
-I tried to tell you Louis... that night in Paris... when I first came to you... no-one can refuse the dark gift, Louis... not even you.
-I tried...
-And the more you tried, the more I wanted you... a vampire with your beautiful, suffering human heart. And how you suffered... I need your forgiveness, Louis.
-So you want me to tell you the story of my life...
-That's what I do. I interview people. I collect lives. F.M. radio. F.F.R.C. I just interviewed a genuine hero, a cop who -
-You'd have to have a lot of tape for my story. I've had a very unusual life.
-So much the better. I've got a pocket full of tapes.
-You followed me here, didn't you?
-Saw you in the street outside. You seemed interesting. Is this where you live?
-It's just a room...
-So shall we begin? What do yo do?
-See? I knew you were interesting. You mean this literally, I take it?
-Absolutely. I was watching you watching me. I was waiting for you in that alleyway. And then you began to speak.
-Well, what a lucky break for me.
-You were going to kill me? Drink my blood?
-You believe this, don't you? That you're a vampire? You really think...
-We can't begin this way. Let me turn on the light.
-But I thought vampires didn't like the light.
-How did you do that?
-What can I do to put you at ease? Shall we begin like David Copperfield? I am born, I grow up. Or shall we begin when I was born to darkness, as I call it. That's really where we should start, don't you think?
-You're not lying to me, are you?
-Why should I lie? 1791 was the year it happened. I was twenty-four - younger than you are now.
-Yes.
-You said the slave had a crucifix...
-Oh, that rumour about crosses?
-You can't look at them...
-Nonsense, my friend. I can look on anything I like. And I am particularly fond of looking on crucifixes.
-The story about stakes through the heart?
-The same. As you would say today... Bull shit.
-What about coffins?
-You loved Yvette...
-Can a vampire feel love?
-You loved your wife, surely.
-Shall we go on?
-He did it to make you stay with him!
-But why did you tell her?
-How could I not? She had to know.
-And did you lose her? Did she go?
-Did he die in the fire?
-You found nothing?
-Peasant rumours, superstitions about garlic, crosses, stakes in the hear, all that - how do you say again? Bull shit. But one of our kind? Not a whisper.
-No vampires in Transylvania? No Count Dracula?
-Lestat escaped the fire!
-No... it can't end like that...
-But it has. There is no more to tell.
-But you talk about passion, about longing, about things I'll never know in my life! It's still inside you, in every syllable you speak! And then you tell me it ends like that? Just empty?
-It's over, I'm telling you...
-Is this what you want? You ask me for this after all I've told you?
-Dear God. I've failed again, haven't I?
-No...
-You haven't the vaguest conception under God of what you ask!
-You promise to care for her then?
-Yes...
-Yes.
-What do you think she is, Madeleine? A doll?
-And the child who did die?
-Look at the gaslight. Don't tke your eyes off it. You will be drained to the point of death, but you must stay alive. Do you hear me?
-What can I do for you?
-You're in 201 and 202.
-Is that bad?
-Julie, we're talkin' suites! That'll be just fine with us.
-And, while you're here, our marginally trained, off-season staff of five will attend to your every need.
-Wait...Did you say off-season?
-Duh. The next couple of days is gonna be rough, but we'll make it.
-What about a radio?
-Sorry. Emergencies only.
-What the hell would you call this?
-It sure is a beautiful old hotel.
-Your what?
-Honeymoon suites. I take it you kids haven't exchanged vows, yet?
-Storm season?
-Listen to me. He's here.
-I want off this island.
-Then I'll call the mainland for a charter.
-You'll go away with you're college friends, but you won't go away with me?
-Stupid. Stupid.
-Jeez, Ray, fourth and forty, throw the bomb.
-I should go up there. I should call her back, tell her I'm coming.
-I don't know, man. Maybe we should keep going, find a phone --
-No.
-Get lost, you scared me.
-Fish are all over the water...Come on, let us take a boat out.
-Titus, you're so stoned, you'd end up in Spain.
-There's a storm comin', Titus. No boats are going out.
-I got work to do. Take the bake elsewhere.
-I thought you were out of town!
-I thought you were out of town!
-What are you doing in my closet?
-That was heart attack time, Karla.
-I'm not going anywhere. I'm fat, ugly, and depressed.
-Yeah, right -- whatever.
-I think I just really hurt Ray's feelings.
-There's nothing between Will and me.
-Say yes.
-No.
-No means yes.
-Karla! Did you tell him I'd be here?
-That could break the machine.
-The number's unlisted...
-Would you relax? We've been dating three months. He ain't stalking your butt.
-Okay, okay. You're right.
-You gotta sell his butt on the Bahamas?
-He's not coming. I thought he was just...
-Julie, you left four messages... Four.
-But, he said he'd try.
-He said he'd try. Try is like maybe. Try is nothing!
-He does work hard.
-Work hard, huh? He's breaking your heart just because he can. And I don't want to have to say I told you so...
-Oh!
-I'm the King of the World.
-Remind me to study real hard so someday this is normal and all that back there is somethin' I do for a weekend once every ten years.
-Hello? Hello?
-Their stuff in there... ...and ours in here.
-Karla! You promised.
-Am I bad? I mean, he's really great, and he's cute --
-He's cute...And he's got a crush on you... But...
-Karaoke -- perfect.
-Don't even think about it.
-No way.
-Yes.
-No.
-Yes.
-Think about this, Julie. What did you actually see?
-You get any sleep at all?
-It's okay...He doesn't believe me. That's his right. I'm starting to think I'm crazy, too.
-Nice move.
-Cancer in a box.
-Karla!
-I'm not crazy...I'm not crazy. He's here... We've got to get to the radio and call for help.
-Oh, stop it! He's dead. You killed him. Now, get over it. We gotta think here.
-Julie...
-Let him go. I believe him.
-What do you mean?
-I know I don't want to stay in here.
-Be careful, Julie.
-Julie, the boats are gone, the phones are down. There's no way off this place.
-I'm your best friend...You could have told me the truth about what happened. I would've understood.
-Karla, I just wanted the whole thing to be over. I didn't want to involve anybody else.
-There's no way to lock it.
-I don't know...
-Julie?
-I'm holding your hand!
-No, you're not.
-Oh, god, it's you --
-You're okay. Thank god.
-I got in early. I was excited... Who was that guy?
-Oh, that's Will. He's a friend. You'd like him.
-Yeah.
-Ray, we're just friend.
-Every guy in history who tried to pick up a girl did the good-friend thing first.
-Ray, I can't...
-Can't what?
-I understand something.
-Hey. I'm really glad you called... I'm sorry.
-No, you don't have to be sorry. I'm the one --
-No, I shouldn't have left so fast... I was just...
-Ray, Karla won a trip to the Bahamas! An island called Tower Bay. And she wants us to come with her.
-We'd have a long weekend just to sit in the sun, drink fruity drinks, and swim, and... You know...
-Julie, we're working a big run up here. It's been crazy. We probably have to go out again tonight. I don't think I can do it.
-Okay, I'll try. But, listen... If I don't make it up, then you go ahead and have a great time.
-Ray...what are you doing?
-Oh...it's not working right. You're home early. Did I scare you?
-Never do that again.
-I love it here.
-Checking the locks again?
-You're the most beautiful woman in the bar tonight, Jules.
-Tyrell, you are an unstoppable force of nature.
-I am not crazy, Tyrell. He was right there.
-We're all going to die. He's going to kill us one by one.
-Who?
-Voodoo.
-You've got all these theories but where is he? Where? Where's your fisherman killer?
-I don't know.
-Don't kill me --
-Julie! Wait! You okay?
-I'm fine.
-You sure?
-I'm fine.
-The shower again?
-It was in a church...it was so real. I mean, I could feel his breath on me.
-I'm sorry.
-I thought I was over the dreams for good. I really did. I hadn't had one for months.
-It just takes time, Julie. It's gonna get better.
-It was one year ago...
-It's...the anniversary. That's what's going on...Take it easy on yourself.
-I'm trying. I really am...Sometimes I don't even know why I came up here in the first place.
-To get out of Southport?
-Nah. I'll probably just be here studying for finals. The joys of summer school... Are you okay?
-I'm okay.
-This was not my idea.
-What?
-Just take deep breaths and think of something happy from childhood.
-What if I don't have anything happy from childhood...Sorry, I can't relax going five hundred miles an hour, or four thousand, four hundred feet a minute... Which is over seven hundred feet a second. Imagine hitting something at seven hundred feet a second.
-Deep breaths --
-Fumes build up in the fuel tanks. You can by surface-to-air missiles over the internet. Planes use O-rings...which freeze in tap water. Planes fall from the sky for practically no reason at all.
-You've got a better chance of getting hit by lightning.
-And it's been blue skies all day. It might be perfect all weekend.
-You sure it's okay with you?
-Sure. It's fine. As long as you don't snore.
-Julie? What's wrong?
-It's...him.
-What do you mean, Julie?
-Oh, Will! I'm sorry.
-No, no, no. This was really sweet...
-I scared you -- I crossed the line --
-No -- it's not that. It's...I'm just a little on edge. I'm really sorry.
-Hey, you don't have to appologize to me. I'm the one. I understand. I'm going to take a walk and dry off.
-What? What are you talking about? Where?
-There was a body! I swear it!
-Julie, you said you were tired. Waybe you were dreaming.
-Come on. We're gonna be okay.
-Estes came after me with a gaffing hook.
-He's in it with Willis?
-Why are you doing this to me?
-Me, me, me. It's always about you. I'm having bad dreams. I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in school. I'm having trouble with my boyfriend.
-I trusted you.
-...Why?
-You know what I want to do to you ...right now, don't you? There's gotta be somewhere we can be alone.
-I don't think so. It's pretty crowded.
-If you can say all you gotta say in a minute then I don't wanna hear it.
-Worse comes to worse, you can stand there and watch me.
-Is there a problem here?
-Something is gonna hit your butt if you don't quit complaining.
-Ain't nothin' free in this world. Everybody says it, and it's true. I wanted you all to have a good trip.
-Oooh, the mainland --
-Guess the capital of Brazil --
-Pretty cool bar.
-Tha's it. I've decided. I'm changing my major to finance. And going to Wall Street.
-Why?
-You sure you didn't pick up my hair tie?
-Hello?
-Okay, I just didn't wanna get my hair wet.
-I used to be a lifeguard...I'd hate to have to blow my whistle.
-Oh, look. Another day in paradise with Julie-your-tour-director...Miss Psychotic Episode.
-Hey --
-Somebody...is a sick, fingerpainting psycho.
-I'll come with you.
-Maybe we should just wait here? Hide in a tree?
-You think that's a good place to hide?
-Julie, is everything cool? Karla said...
-To a great weekend --
-Come on, it'll be fun.
-Ahh, that feels great.
-How's Julie?
-Why? He can't help us.
-Mark in the Morning! Magic 96.7! Oh my God! I'm Karla. Karla Wilson. Jules, it's Mark in the Morning.
-Well, Karla, what're you doin' at home over the long fourth weekend?
-Well, I'm in school and --
-How'd you like to win a Magic 96.7 Quicky Getaway?
-Still here...thinking... You mean Brazil, the country?
-Rio de Janeiro!
-Oh, no...Did you say Rio?
-Waaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
-Jeez, that's a full carat --
-How much?
-Well, there's some flaws in her...
-Don't really have the market for something like this... I can go two...two-fifty.
-Hell, that's worth three, easy. And you got your waiting period.
-You guys lost?
-Tell me this ain't the bar scene.
-What's the matter, boy trouble?
-Not anymore.
-He leave you?
-What's going on?
-Julie thinks there's a dead guy in the closet.
-Cool.
-I'm sorry, but you could've been the one doing all of this --
-And so could you -- crazy fool.
-You stumbled into my hiding place.
-Must have missed the sign.
-Can't talk right now.
-We didn't get all dressed up for nothing.
-The last day of the season. Yeah, we heard.
-There's ten people on this whole island and they're all gonna end up in this Jacuzzi with us.
-How's the water?
-I'm just saying what all of you are thinking. It's bad enough gettin' rained out without having to hold her hand the whole time.
-Where is everybody?
-They're around...They just don't care about us 'cause we're the contest winners. Let's go find Stoner Boy...Make his lazy butt hook us up with fishing poles or Ping-Pong paddles or something.
-You know, the greenhouse effect has caused the gulf stream to shift and almost every meteorological expert expects a dramatic increase in tropical depression --
-Take this.
-They were cut loose.
-The porter...what's his name? Old Asbestos --
-We'll only be a second, okay?
-Where'd Estes go?
-What is up with that weirdo?
-You don't have to. It's inside of you -- all the glory that was Greece -— the dancing, the singing and the white marble --
-How clover you are, Mr. Albrecht, to see all that in our simple Thea... She is quite pretty, isn't she?
-This was the temple of Hades --the God of the Dead. It contained no images -- just empty space and walls of perfect symmetry.
-How disappointing! I expected it was something more romantic. A temple to the Goddess of Love, perhaps.
-Where is Miss Wollsten?
-I took it for granted you gentlemen were refugees as are my other guests.
-This is General Nikolas Pherides, Commander of the Third Army. I'm Oliver Davis. To be perfectly frank with you, we didn't expect to find anyone living here.
-But the gods played a little trick on me. I was born in Switzerland.
-He is exhausted.
-I need your advice —— something has happened —— Mr. Jacks ——
-Drunk again?
-He complained of not feeling well. I thought he was drunk —— he staggered.
-I wonder if my editor's psychic? Reports from the Greek front are going to be a little vague.
-I'd like to, very much -- but it depends on what dispatches are waiting for me on the mainland.
-It doesn't look much like the fish spears I knew back in Marblehead..
-Our friend, Poseidon, didn't use it for fishing. He raked the sea with it and stirred up the big waves.
-I'll go up and take a look at the General —- perhaps sit with him.
-He won't even know you're there. He is delirious.
-All the more reason to watch him. He's had some wild notions lately.
-Don't bother. Go to bed and get some sleep. I'll be working late. I can hear any movement down here.
-Well ——
-Go ahead. I'll wake you up when I go to bed. Then you can watch him.
-Goodbye.
-If the wind shifts, if the sirocco blows -- the hot wind from the South -- all danger will be over in twenty-four hours.
-The ancient Greeks had just as good an explanation -- that the gods sent the plague to punish mortals for harboring Vrykolaka --
-She's right. This is hardly the time to bandy old tales.
-You're just talking nonsense.
-We will see who is the first to die.
-I suppose you want to hear my prayer to Hermes.
-) You feel the symptoms?
-My friend -- what can one say --
-I'm here. The General is here. You are not alone.
-I have not been on the island in twenty years. It is changed - changed completely. Where are the graves -- the coffins?
-The enemy is in retreat. There will be no more fighting here. I came here to visit the crypts. My wife was buried here. What happened to the bodies?
-They were gore before I came here.
-There was some trouble here ——the villagers on the mainland —-this island was the focal point of their anger. They came here ——broke open the tombs and despoiled the graves.
-All the graves?
-I'm afraid so. There were rumors ——people were aroused. Some feared restlessness among the dead you know, the old superstitions.
-Perhaps I had better stay. I am tired.
-I'm not sure that it is the plague.
-We will know when the next one sickens. Until then you and I remain here. I will not bring the plague to my troops.
-Did you hear what Thea said -- as if she knew what threatens us.
-That's impossible. I told them Jacks died of a sudden heart attack, probably brought on by over drinking.
-Another sad task. We'll bury her tomorrow. I think we'd better lock the door for tonight. It will make them less uncomfortable.
-No. She shall not be left here.
-You were singing, weren't you? A beautiful voice, Miss St. Aubyn.
-I hope Mr. Jacks gets to bed in one piece.
-I adore hearing Thea sing -- but my poor head's beginning to ache. I'm so sorry.
-I'm glad you and the General didn't have to leave us. We would feel quite deserted..
-How could we go back to the wars with such pleasant company here..
-Good night, Oliver.
-You're not leaving tomorrow..?
-I know it must be hard. But you have relatives in London --you've got a whole world of living, ahead of you --
-Where's Thea?
-Oh, no -— it's too delicious! You're making it up!
-Tell me about them, Thea. They have great wings end long teeth --
-Sharp, shiny teeth -- and they creep up to your bed --
-My father -- I'm alone, Oliver, completely alone!
-Poor Cathy --
-There's no reason to decide any of us are going to die.
-If Mr. Albrecht is right, we'll all be free in a few days. I suppose you'll be going on to Athens?
-Poor child. These must be horrible days for you.
-Has that girl -- has Thea ever told you where she comes from?
-Has she spoken to you of her father and her mother?
-She has never mentioned her family.
-What are you doing?
-I have been troubled about you. I want you to know that my room is just downstairs -- You have only to cry out if you are ill —— or frightened.
-Miss Wollsten shares the room with you?
-It's getting dark. I can't leave now.
-In the morning -- go. I'll not die until then —- I'll not die —— I'll watch -— they shall not hurt you.
-Shh——— it's all right -— I'll be all right.
-The young man, Mr. Davis, seems to be some kind of an unofficial observer —— a correspondent of some sort ——
-You are fortunate in your father.
-Cathy —- how does it feel to have a father?
-What an odd question!
-I mean, does one love a father because he is good and kind -—or just because he is one's father?
-Thea -- you're hiding something. Why do you suddenly speak of your father? You told me once you had never seen him -- didn't know him --
-I do not know him, but I have seen him.
-What is it -- what are you talking about?
-I have forgotten it, dear.
-Thea, your choice is a very simple one. Either you want to claim him as your father, or you do not.
-But one must love a father.
-Come, Thea, if you're going to claim him as your father you've got to make up your mind. They'll be leaving any minute.
-I felt he did not like me.
-That should decide it or you --
-You should sleep, Cathy. Lie down and close your eyes. Try to forget everything.
-When I close my eyes, I see Miss Wollsten. I can't think of anything else.
-Suppose, she isn't dead. Suppose it was a cataleptic attack?
-It was, the plague
-I wish I didn't have such bitter knowledge of you, Cathy.
-Whet do you mean?
-They were talking about the Vrykolakas this morning. Cathy, that's what you are —— a weak, pale, half-dead thing that drains all the life and joy from those who want to live.
-Miss Wollsten!
-Your father knew it too. But he was never sure how much was pretense.
-How do you know what my father thought - -
-Your father loved me. He wanted to marry me. But he was afraid of hurting the gentle, delicate Cathy. You spoiled his life ——you've ruined mine ——
-You were father's secretary -— I never thought - -
-What would I be thinking?
-Mr. Davis seems a good prospect ——young handsome, sympathetic -- ready to listen to you and feel sorry for you - -
-What if he is?
-) But Thea -- She stands in your way. I know you. I know your little hints —— the way you can turn the truth into a lie --
-Why, I'm fond of Thea.
-You're planing something, Cathy.. But I won't let you —- I'll warn them against you.
-You will not say one single word. I know your secret.
-That your father and I ——
-I've always known what an evil mind lay behind that pretty weak face of yours —— but this, Cathy -- even I would never have believed it is of you.
-Would you care to explain what you're talking about?
-You've been playing on the superstitions of that poor old man — — working at him — — turning him against Thea.
-Really, this is idiotic!
-When I tell him that you're unfit to live a normal life with normal people —- a cataleptic!
-You wouldn't tell that ——
-No. No. I won't believe it. He's not dead.
-This is Dr. Drossos, chief medical officer of my division.
-Woman, what are you doing here?
-I wanted to be sure of something, General -- something that has always preyed on my mind. I have a horror of being buried alive and awakening to find myself shut in —- entombed —— imprisoned..
-He sleeps quietly. He died with a wine glass in his hand -- he died laughing -- a brave man, Drossos, like his father before him.
-Because he was a brave man - because I liked him -- I came here to be sure.
-I'm a woman -- a lonely woman. I have few friends.
-Yes?
-I have not had a happy life --but that one thing - - that terror which brings me awake out of deep sleep —- I want to avoid it.
-I don't understand you.
-I don't want to be buried alive. If I die I want to be sure —- quite sure.
-If you should fall sick we'll be careful. You need not worry.
-No, I want more than that. I beg you General, make sure --drive a knife through my heart -- anything.
-You ask that of me? You're afraid to live in your coffin. You know what that means?
-That's superstition. That's something out of old tales -- about the dead who live —- I'm talking of something else --cataleptic attacks -- apparent death that is not real.
-I don't really know where Thea comes from. The Vice—Consul at Adrianople brought her to me..
-Her name is Thea?
-Theodosia.
-Her family name?
-You do not know her last name -- you do not know from where she came?
-Your daughter is ill.
-She's not too well.
-What is her illness?
-Nothing, really. She's been under a great strain -- the journey -- the battle --
-Was she ill before that girl came into your household?
-This girl --
-This girl -- Thea —- is not a servant in my household, sir. She is my daughter's companion. Now, sir, if you'll excuse me, I'll go have a look at Mr. Jacks.
-Why not Take the doctor's advice? You're the hero of the battle of Corphon.
-Hero?
-You know that sound, Oliver?
-I heard the same sound at Ladysmith, at Nukden, Port Arthur. What do you expect after a battle?
-Do you mind if I go with you?
-There's no one there -— nothing but the caves and the dead.
-She is not there. The coffin is gone.
-You are a happy man Oliver. You have but one world to live in —- the world of today. I have two worlds. I have that old dark world of peasant ignorance and superstition in which I was brought up and a new world which the army gave me —— a world of mathematics, gun ranges,logistics, tactics, strategy.
-It doesn't seem to bother you much, General.
-I will be glad to leave this island. It has too much of that old dark world about it. I will be glad to leave it and that girl ——
-There is something evil about her.
-Oh, now —— now look here ——
-I know all you are going to say —-I have been saying it to myself, but the thought will not leave my mind. She resembles my wife -—there is something about her ——the way she moves —— the way she turns her head.
-It makes me fear her.
-I can't understand that.
-Well, at any rate, I would like to say goodbye to the girl.
-I've seen men die drunk —- and I've seen men die of the plague.
-Plague? There's no possibility of that, is there?
-Until we know, what choice is there? We have to stay.
-But the war, the army —— they need you.
-Better no general than one carrying the plague.
-We still don't know that it's the plague ——
-Thea is so like her —— in every feature ——
-She was beautiful. There was blood between her family and my kin. But that did not stop me from taking her when I saw her beauty, nor did it stop her from loving me.
-How did she die?
-Is this what you wanted to speak to me about?
-In a way -- this girl, Thea. You must stay away from her.
-I had a notion you had become self—appointed chaperone lately — why?
-You are my friend.
-And I'm your friend —— but that doesn't explain why you are always trying to come between Thea and me?
-If I told you —— you wouldn't believe me -- but this much I can tell you —— the girl is dangerous to you. Take a friend's advice -- an old man' s advice -- leave her alone -—
-That's ridiculous -- Thea's lovely, gentle —-
-Listen to what I say --
-I have had command for the last time —-
-Come —- you'll feel yourself again as soon as we get off this dismal island.
-Theodosia --
-Daughter -- my daughter --
-You're crying. Why?
-I don't know. Everything's so mixed up --
-What's bothering you, Thea? Is it the General?
-Sometimes when he looks at me in that strange way, I'm afraid of him.
-Please.. You shouldn't laugh --
-Thea, what's wrong?
-The General threatened me.
-Oh, that Vrykolaka business. You mustn't be too angry with him, Thea. He's an old man and now with all this trouble —— the disappointment in not being able to lead his own army to victory -- cooped up here waiting for death - naturally his mind goes back to the things he believed when he was an ignorant lad in some mountain village.
-He keeps asking for the name of my father and mother.
-Well, tell, him.
-I can't.
-Why in the world can't you?
-He hates all my race.
-I knew that feuds still went on, but I didn't think people like you and the General would be involved.
-Thea, what is this? What are you trying to tell me? "He stole your mother" —-
-I don't think so, Thea. He has spoken of your mother. I don't believe he knows you are his daughter.
-Because she loved him. I know him, Thea. Believe me, he is not a cruel man.
-Let me tell him. When he knows you are his child, he'll forget these insane notions -—
-I'm not crying, Mr. Potter.
-Well, you're begging, and that's a whole lot worse.
-Times are bad, Mr. Potter. A lot of these people are out of work.
-Then foreclose!
-But they're somebody's children.
-Are you running a business or a charity ward?
-Mr. Potter, what makes you such a hard-skulled character? You have no family –– no children. You can't begin to spend all the money you've got.
-Hey, this is the company's posters, and the company won't like this.
-How would you like to get a ticket next week? Haven't you any romance in you?
-Come on, we got to get this up. He's coming.
-Who?
-Get that ladder up here.
-All right –– all right.
-Hurry up . . . hurry up . . . hurry up.
-George . . .
-All right, put up your hands. No fast moves. Come on out here, both of you.
-Stand back.
-Bert, now listen to me. Ernie, will you take me over to my mother's house? Bert, listen! It's that fellow there –– he says he's an angel –– he's tried to hypnotize me.
-What the Sam Hill you yelling for, George?
-Know you? Are you kiddin'? I've been looking all over town trying to find you. I saw your car piled into that tree down there, and I thought maybe . . . Hey, your mouth's bleeding; are you sure you're all right?
-Good morning, sir.
-Carter –– bank examiner.
-Mr. Carter, Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
-We're all excited around here. My brother just got the Congressional Medal of Honor. The President just decorated him.
-Well, I guess they do those things. Well, I trust you had a good year.
-Good year? Well, between you and me, Mr. Carter, we're broke.
-Yeah, very funny.
-You what? To save me?
-Well, I did, didn't I? You didn't go through with it, did you?
-Go through with what?
-Oh, I know all about you. I've watched you grow up from a little boy.
-What are you, a mind reader or something?
-Oh, no.
-Well, who are you, then?
-Clarence Odbody, A-S-2.
-Odbody . . . A-S-2. What's that A-S-2?
-That's what I was sent down for. I'm your guardian angel.
-I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
-I told you –– I'm your guardian angel. I know everything about you.
-Well, you look about like the kind of an angel I'd get. Sort of a fallen angel, aren't you? What happened to your wings?
-I haven't won my wings yet. That's why I'm an angel Second Class.
-I don't know whether I like it very much being seen around with an angel without any wings.
-By letting me help you.
-Only one way you can help me. You don't happen to have eight thousand bucks on you?
-Oh, no, no. We don't use money in Heaven.
-Oh, that's right, I keep forgetting. Comes in pretty handy down here, bub.
-Oh, tut, tut, tut.
-I found it out a little late. I'm worth more dead than alive.
-What'd you say?
-I said I wish I'd never been born.
-What did you say?
-Well, that's the doggonedest thing . . . I haven't heard anything out of that ear since I was a kid. Must have been that jump in the cold water.
-It's stopped snowing out, hasn't it? What's happened here? Come on, soon as these clothes of ours are dry . . .
-I can't fly. I haven't got any wings.
-You have no car.
-Oh, I don't know. Either I'm off my nut, or he is . . . . . . or you are!
-It isn't me!
-What's the matter with him. I never saw Nick act like that before.
-You'll see a lot of strange things from now on.
-Oh, yeah. Hey, little fellow –– you worry me. You got someplace to sleep?
-No.
-No.
-No wonder you jumped in the river.
-Oh-oh. Somebody's just made it.
-Made what?
-Look, I think maybe you better not mention getting your wings around here.
-You see, George, you were not there to stop Gower from putting that poison into the . . .
-Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me that. What else are you? What . . . are you a hypnotist?
-No, of course not.
-Well then, why am I seeing all these strange things?
-Don't you understand, George? It's because you were not born.
-Then if I wasn't born, who am I?
-What do you mean, no identity? My name's George Bailey.
-What?
-You know where he lives?
-Are you sure this is Bailey Park?
-Clarence . . .
-Yes, George?
-Where's Mary?
-Oh, well, I can't . . .
-I . . .
-If you know where she is, tell me where my wife is.
-She's . . .
-Poor George . . . Sit down.
-Sit down? What are . . .
-If you're going to help a man, you want to know something about him, don't you?
-Well, naturally. Of course.
-Where? I don't see a thing.
-Why, yes. This is amazing.
-If you ever get your wings, you'll see all by yourself.
-Hey, who's that?
-That's your problem, George Bailey.
-A boy?
-What did you stop it for?
-I want you to take a good look at that face.
-Who is it?
-George Bailey.
-Oh, you mean the kid that had his ears slapped back by the druggist.
-That's the kid.
-It's a good face. I like it. I like George Bailey. Tell me, did he ever tell anyone about the pills?
-Not a soul.
-Did he ever marry the girl? Did he ever go exploring?
-I know. I know. He didn't go.
-That's right. Not only that, but he gave his school money to his brother Harry, and sent him to college. Harry became a football star –– made second team All American.
-Now, you've probably already guessed that George never leaves Bedford Falls.
-. . . two of them as they were about to crash into a transport full of soldiers.
-You sent for me, sir?
-Yes, Clarence. A man down on earth needs our help.
-Splendid! Is he sick?
-No, worse. He's discouraged. At exactly ten-forty-five PM tonight, Earth time, that man will be thinking seriously of throwing away God's greatest gift.
-Oh, dear, dear! His life! Then I've only got an hour to dress. What are they wearing now?
-You will spend that hour getting acquainted with George Bailey.
-Sir . . . If I should accomplish this mission –– I mean –– might I perhaps win my wings? I've been waiting for over two hundred years now, sir –– and people are beginning to talk.
-What's that book you've got there?
-The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.
-Clarence, you do a good job with George Bailey, and you'll get your wings.
-Hey . . . hey. Where did the Building and Loan move to?
-The Building and what?
-The Bailey Building and Loan. It was up there.
-Hey, Violet! Hey, listen –– that's Violet Bick!
-I know. I know.
-I want the Board to know that George gave up his trip to Europe to help straighten things out here these past few months. Good luck to you at school, George.
-Thanks.
-Thank you very much.
-What's that?
-That's the best part of it. They've appointed George here as executive secretary to take his father's place.
-Oh, no! But, Uncle Billy . . .
-Hey, Ernie!
-Hiya, George!
-If either of you two see a stranger around here, it's me.
-Bert, the cop, sent this over. He said to float away to Happy Land on the bubbles.
-Aw, now, doggone it, Ernie, don't you start pulling that stuff. You know where I live. Three-twenty Sycamore. Now hurry up.
-Okay. Three-twenty Sycamore? . . .
-Yeah –– yeah –– hurry up. Zuzu's sick.
-Look, bud, what's the idea? I live in a shack in Potter's Field and my wife ran away three years ago and took the kid . . . And I ain't never seen you before in my life.
-Is this the place?
-Of course it's the place.
-Hello, Joseph, trouble?
-Looks like we'll have to send someone down –– a lot of people are asking for help for a man named George Bailey.
-George Bailey. Yes, tonight's his crucial night. You're right, we'll have to send someone down immediately. Whose turn is it?
-That's why I came to see you, sir. It's that clock-maker's turn again.
-Oh –– Clarence. Hasn't got his wings yet, has he? We've passed him up right along.
-Because, you know, sir, he's got the I.Q. of a rabbit.
-On V-J Day he wept and prayed again.
-Joseph, now show him what happened today.
-Well?
-Mother . . .
-Oh, Mother, Mother, please help me. Something terrible's happened to me. I don't know what it is. Something's happened to everybody. Please let me come in. Keep me here until I get over it.
-Well, sure I do.
-When'd you see him last?
-Today, over at the house.
-Hi, Daddy.
-Well, what happened to you?
-Wait now. Where do you think you're going?
-Want to give my flower a drink.
-Look, Daddy . . . paste it.
-There it is, good as new.
-What?
-Will you try to get some sleep?
-I'm not sleepy. I want to look at my flower.
-I know –– I know, but you just go to sleep, and then you can dream about it, and it'll be a whole garden.
-It will?
-Daddy!
-Zuzu –– Zuzu. My little gingersnap! How do you feel?
-Oh, oh. Sam Wainwright! How are you? When did you get here?
-Oh, this afternoon. I thought I'd give the kids a treat.
-Old college graduate now, huh?
-Yeah –– old Joe College Wainwright, they call me. Well, freshman, looks like you're going to make it after all.
-Hee-haw!
-We just stopped in town to take a look at the new factory, and then we're going to drive on down to Florida.
-Oh, I'm afraid I couldn't get away, Sam.
-Still got the nose to the old grindstone, eh? Jane, I offered to let George in on the ground floor in plastics, and he turned me down cold.
-Oh, now, don't rub it in.
-So long, George. See you in the funny papers.
-Big –– see! I don't want one for one night. I want something for a thousand and one nights, with plenty of room for labels from Italy and Baghdad, Samarkand . . . a great big one.
-Now you're talkin'. Gee whiz, I could use this as a raft in case the boat sunk. How much does this cost?
-No charge.
-What boat you sailing on?
-I'm working across on a cattle boat.
-What's that?
-Goodbye, everybody!
-He's gone. Don't worry. His name is Welch. He don't come in to my place no more.
-Oh –– Welch. That's what I get for praying.
-Oh, no, Please, don't go out this way, Mr. Bailey.
-Oh, no –– you don't feel so good.
-I'm all right.
-She's swell.
-Looks like she can keep Harry on his toes.
-Keep him out of Bedford Falls, anyway.
-Did you know that Mary Hatch is back from school?
-Uh-huh.
-Came back three days ago.
-Hmmmm . . .
-Nice girl, Mary.
-Hmmmm . . .
-Kind that will help you find the answers, George.
-Hmmm . . .
-Oh, stop that grunting.
-Hmmm . . .
-Can you give me one good reason why you shouldn't call on Mary?
-Sure –– Sam Wainwright.
-Hmmm?
-Yes. Sam's crazy about Mary.
-Well, she's not crazy about him.
-Well, how do you know? Did she discuss it with you?
-No.
-Well then, how do you know?
-Well, I've got eyes, haven't I? Why, she lights up like a firefly whenever you're around.
-Oh . . .
-And besides, Sam Wainwright's away in New York, and you're here in Bedford Falls.
-Mother, you know, I can see right through you –– right back to your back collar button . . . trying to get rid of me, huh?
-Well, here's your hat, what's your hurry? All right, Mother, old Building and Loan pal, I think I'll go out and find a girl and do a little passionate necking.
-Oh, George!
-George! George!
-Yes, sir.
-You're not paid to be a canary.
-Mr. Gower, do you want something . . . Anything?
-No.
-Anything I can do back here?
-Yes, sir. They have the diphtheria there, haven't they, sir?
-Is it a charge, sir?
-Yes –– charge.
-Mr. Gower, I think . . .
-Aw, get going!
-No . . . No . . . No. . .
-Mr. Gower, I won't ever tell anyone. I know what you're feeling. I won't ever tell a soul. Hope to die, I won't.
-Mr. Gower . . . Mr. Gower . . . thanks ever so much for the bag. It's just exactly what I wanted.
-Aw, forget it.
-Oh, it's wonderful.
-Mr. Gower! Mr. Gower! This is George Bailey! Don't you know me?
-Yes, you bet.
-You want a martini?
-Okay –– all right. Double bourbon, quick, huh?
-That does it! Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the window!
-Well, Nick, that's your name, isn't it?
-Hope you have a good trip, George. Uncle Billy and I are going to miss you.
-I'm going to miss you, too, Pop. What's the matter? You look tired.
-Oh, I had another tussle with Potter today.
-Oh . . .
-I thought when we put him on the Board of Directors, he'd ease up on us a little bit.
-I wonder what's eating that old money-grubbing buzzard anyway?
-Father, did I act like that when I graduated from high school?
-Pretty much. You know, George, wish we could send Harry to college with you. Your mother and I talked it over half the night.
-We have that all figured out. You see, Harry'll take my job at the Building and Loan, work there four years, then he'll go.
-He's pretty young for that job.
-Well, no younger than I was.
-Maybe you were born older, George.
-How's that?
-I say, maybe you were born older. I suppose you've decided what you're going to do when you get out of college.
-Oh, well, you know what I've always talked about –– build things . . . design new buildings –– plan modern cities –– all that stuff I was talking about.
-Still after that first million before you're thirty.
-I know it's soon to talk about it.
-Yes . . . Yes . . . You're right, son.
-You see what I mean, don't you, Pop?
-This town is no place for any man unless he's willing to crawl to Potter. You've got talent, son. You get yourself an education. Then get out of here.
-I'm going to miss old Annie. Pop, I think I'll get dressed and go over to Harry's party.
-Got a match?
-What do you mean, and be bored to death?
-Couldn't want a better death. Lots of pretty girls, and we're going to use that new floor of yours tonight, too.
-Mary . . . Mary, I'm sorry. I've got to go.
-Come on, George, let's hurry.
-Oh, am I glad to see you.
-Say, where's Mother?
-She's home cooking the fatted calf. Come on, let's go.
-Hello, George, how are you?
-George.
-Hiya, Marty. Well, it's old home week.
-Do me a favor, will you, George?
-What's that?
-Well, you remember my kid sister, Mary?
-Oh . . . me? Oh, well, I feel funny enough already, with all these kids.
-Two cents worth of shoelaces?
-Good afternoon, Mr. Bailey.
-Hey, George . . .
-Hello, Violet.
-Hello, Georgie-Porgie.
-What gives?
-Nothing.
-Where are you going?
-Let's go out in the fields and take off our shoes and walk through the grass.
-Huh?
-George, can I see you for a second?
-No, George, don't . . .
-Here, now, you're broke, aren't you?
-I know, but . . .
-Say hello to New York for me.
-Yeah –– yeah . . . sure I will.
-Violet Bick!
-Avast, there, Captain Cook! Where you headin'?
-Got to see Pop, Uncle Billy.
-Some other time, George.
-It's important.
-Uh-huh. Breakfast is served; lunch is served; dinner . . .
-No, no, no, no! Anchor chains, plane motors, and train whistles.
-Hello.
-Well, what do you know –– wife.
-Oh, thank you, George, old boy, old boy. Now, look –– if you'll point me in the right direction . . . would you do that? George?
-Old Building and Loan pal, huh . . .
-Now you just turn this way and go right straight down.
-What is this, Uncle Billy? A holiday?
-Why didn't you call me?
-I just did, but they said you left. This is a pickle, George, this is a pickle.
-All right now, what happened? How did it start?
-How does anything like this ever start? All I know is the bank called our loan.
-When?
-About an hour ago. I had to hand over all our cash.
-All of it?
-Every cent of it, and it still was less than we owe.
-Holy mackerel!
-And then I got scared, George, and closed the doors. I . . . I . . . I . . .
-Yes, hello? George . . . it's Potter.
-George, was it a nice wedding? Gosh, I wanted to be there.
-Those Rockefellers!
-Get a tray for these great big important simoleons.
-Now look, did you buy anything?
-Nothing. Not even a stick of gum.
-All right. All right. Now we'll go over every step you took since you left the house.
-And did you put the envelope in your pocket?
-Pop!
-Pop!
-Yes, sir.
-Just a minute –– just a minute. Now, hold on, Mr. Potter. You're right when you say my father was no business man. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap, penny-ante Building and Loan, I'll never know. But neither you nor anybody else can say anything against his character, because his whole life was . . . Why, in the twenty-five years
-I'm not interested in your book. I'm talking about the Building and Loan.
-Thank you, sir. Quite a cigar, Mr. Potter.
-Yes. Well, most people say you stole all the rest.
-You wouldn't mind living in the nicest house in town, buying your wife a lot of fine clothes, a couple of business trips to New York a year, maybe once in a while Europe. You wouldn't mind that, would you, George?
-Would I? You're not talking to somebody else around here, are you? You know, this is me, you remember me? George Bailey.
-Oh, yes, George Bailey. Whose ship has just come in –– providing he has brains enough to climb aboard.
-Well, what about the Building and Loan?
-Oh, confound it, man, are you afraid of success? I'm offering you a three year contract at twenty thousand dollars a year, starting today. Is it a deal or isn't it?
-Well, Mr. Potter, I . . . I . . . I know I ought to jump at the chance, but I . . . I just . . . I wonder if it would be possible for you to give me twenty-four hours to think it over?
-Sure, sure, sure. You go on home and talk about it to your wife.
-I'd like to do that.
-In the meantime, I'll draw up the papers.
-Yes, sir.
-Have you notified the police?
-No, sir. No, sir. I haven't.
-Not that it makes any difference to me, but why did you come to me? Why don't you go to Sam Wainwright and ask him for the money?
-I can't get hold of him. He's in Europe.
-Well, what about all your other friends?
-They don't have that kind of money, Mr. Potter. You know that. You're the only one in town that can help me.
-Yes . . . how much is your equity in it?
-I have a big deal coming up that's going to make us all rich. George, you remember that night in Martini's bar when you told me you read someplace about making plastics out of soybeans?
-Huh? Yeah-yeah-yeah . . . soybeans. Yeah.
-Rochester? Well, why Rochester?
-Well, why not? Can you think of anything better?
-Oh, I don't know . . . why not right here? You remember that old tool and machinery works? You tell your father he can get that for a song. And all the labor he wants, too. Half the town was thrown out of work when they closed down.
-That so? Well, I'll tell him. Hey, that sounds great! Oh, baby, I knew you'd come through. Now, here's the point. Mary, Mary, you're in on this too. Now listen. Have you got any money?
-Money? Yeah . . . well, a little.
-Made up your mind yet?
-With coconuts?
-I don't like coconuts.
-A new magazine! I never saw it before.
-Well, hello.
-Hello. You look at me as if you didn't know me.
-Well, I don't.
-You've passed me on the street almost every day.
-Me?
-Uh-huh.
-I'm not very good at this.
-Neither am I.
-Hot dog! Just like an organ.
-Do I look as funny as you do?
-I guess I'm not quite the football type. You . . . look wonderful. You know, if it wasn't me talking I'd say you were the prettiest girl in town.
-Well, why don't you say it?
-I don't know. Maybe I will say it. How old are you anyway?
-Eighteen.
-Eighteen? Why, it was only last year you were seventeen.
-Too young or too old?
-Your . . . your caboose, my lady.
-You may kiss my hand.
-Okay, then, I'll throw a rock at the old Granville house.
-Oh, no, George, don't. It's full of romance, that old place. I'd like to live in it.
-In that place?
-Uh-huh.
-What'd you wish, George?
-Oh, no.
-Come on, tell me.
-If I told you it might not come true.
-I'll take it. And then what?
-Ouch!
-They're way downtown. They'd be on my side, too.
-Hello, Mary. I just happened to be passing by.
-Yeah, so I noticed. Have you made up your mind?
-How's that?
-Have you made up your mind?
-About what?
-My mother just called you? Well, how did she know?
-Didn't you tell her?
-Well, are you coming in or aren't you?
-When did you get back?
-Tuesday.
-Where'd you get that dress?
-Do you like it?
-It's all right. I thought you'd go back to New York like Sam and Ingie, and the rest of them.
-All right, for a minute. I still can't understand it though. You know I didn't tell anybody I was coming here.
-Would you rather leave?
-No, I don't want to be rude.
-Well, I see it still smells like pine needles in here.
-Oh . . . yeah, yeah. That's all right.
-Don't you like her?
-Well, of course I like her. She's a peach.
-Oh, it's just marriage in general you're not enthusiastic about, huh?
-George . . . George . . . George . . .
-Where are we going? Look at this. There's the kitty, Ernie. Here, come on, count it, Mary.
-I feel like a bootlegger's wife. Look!
-After that, who cares?
-Just a minute, dear. Oh-oh . . .
-Please, let's not stop, George.
-Oh, Mary . . .
-Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for.
-Have fun.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Mary Hatch, why in the world did you ever marry a guy like me?
-To keep from being an old maid.
-You could have married Sam Wainwright or anybody else in town.
-I didn't want to marry anybody else in town. I want my baby to look like you.
-You didn't even have a honeymoon. I promised you . . . . . . Your what?
-George Bailey lassos stork.
-Is it snowing?
-Yeah, just started.
-Where's your coat and hat?
-Zuzu! What's the matter with Zuzu?
-Oh, she's got a cold. She's in bed. Caught it coming home from school. They gave her a flower for a prize and she didn't want to crush it so she didn't button up her coat.
-What is it, a sore throat or what?
-Just a cold. The doctor says it's nothing serious.
-The doctor? Was the doctor here?
-Yes, I called him right away. He says it's nothing to worry about.
-Is she running a temperature? What is it?
-Where're you going?
-Mary! Mary!
-Oh, George, George, George.
-Mary! Let me touch you! Oh, you're real!
-Oh, George, George!
-You have no idea what's happened to me.
-Oh, you two idiots! George, sit down and have dinner.
-I've eaten.
-Well, aren't you going to finish dressing for your graduation party? Look at you.
-Pop, can I have the car? I'm going to take over a lot of plates and things.
-What plates?
-Oh, Mom –– I'm chairman of the eats committee and we only need a couple of dozen.
-Put those things in the car and I'll get your tie and studs together.
-I guess you forgot something.
-Huh?
-You forgot something.
-What?
-Well, aren't you going to make a deposit?
-Sure, sure I am.
-Well, then . . it's usually customary to bring the money with you.
-How about that one there?
-How fast does this go?
-With the right wind, 15-20 knots.
-You can?
-Come on, you guys.
-For me...?
-Great! Find one for me.
-Wheee! Faster!
-How fast is enough?
-My hair's getting wet!
-When do we get to the lighthouse?
-I can't wait to get there.
-Sure you do -- you win either way.
-Oh, shit.
-Someone pop your balloon?
-Low tide at Cable Junction is 7:46 p.m.
-What'd you do? Memorize the tide tables?
-It's okay, it's okay....
-Bring her to port a little. That's it -- steady.
-Don't!
-Easy, easy -- you'll swamp us!
-Get on the rocks!
-Yeah, it's her job.
-Is she responsible for the punch?
-No.
-Who's that? Quick -- I'm in love.
-Maybe by now they are.
-If you're beached, why are we doing this? For practice?
-Yeah.
-Why not?
-I could give you a dozen good reasons.
-Shut up.
-Turkeys! Eat wind!
-Your dad must be really pissed.
-We better go back in.
-Putz -- that won't be for hours.
-They're okay, if they got little white canes and tin cups.
-That's awful.
-Same as always -- glub-glub, bubble-bubble, stroke-stroke. There sure is some weird shit on the bottom of the ocean.
-Shells and lobsters and stuff?
-Over here. I want you to meet somebody.
-The lighthouse?
-Why'd they decide to move?
-What is it?
-Where're we going?
-Goddamn it, Sean, you listen to me or I will kick your ass, do you hear me?
-Listen to Andy, Sean.
-But we had it! We were headed right for it!
-But the island!
-We're carrying weight.
-Coming up! Give way!
-Loser sails home alone.
-As soon as you get us on the island, you got to call in. My dad's the mayor....
-Throw it.
-I don't know.
-Coming up!
-I thought you said she was going with us?
-Let's just go sailing, okay?
-Want to talk about it?
-You coming up on him?
-How're we going to do that floating on this garbage...?
-Hey!
-Sean! Catch the rope!
-We're hung up here. Snagged.
-Chief Brody -- can we go? Please?
-Tina!
-N-o-o-o-o-o-o....
-It's okay, it's okay. What's the matter? Tina? Honey? Hey ---
-No! It's still there!
-What is it? What's there?
-It's still there!
-Good morning!
-Aren't you off-duty?
-On your own time?
-Happy to do it.
-Chief....
-I never heard of a 908.
-I just made it up. It means, "Get me out of there." What the hell's that?
-Diver's camera. Tom Andrews brought it up from under that abandoned cruiser.
-Abandoned? It's a little early in the season for that.
-Rich people. Home port is Newport, Rhode Island.
-If I had a $100,000 boat, I sure as hell wouldn't leave it anchored alone in the channel.
-We got a helluva tide this month.
-Chief?
-In here.
-I missed you at the funeral home. Santos said you were here.
-You didn't miss much. Christ, what a mess.
-Positive I.D.?
-The woman passenger on the boat that blew up.
-What about that camera?
-What camera?
-Well, what the hell -- might be something worth seeing. Take it somewhere and see if there's film in it....
-If there is, develop it!
-I know just where to go.
-Not the drugstore!
-Of course not, They're closed. Phil Fogarty's place. He'll do it for me.
-The drugstore's closed? What the hell time is it?
-Nine-thirty, ten maybe.
-Oh yeah -- I'm expecting a long distance call, very important. Give them my home phone.
-How long ago?
-I can't let you take her out.
-Mike's out there.
-Untie that rope.
-You're too close. Back off.
-I'm going out there.
-About 10 degrees off your star- board bow, take a heading leeward of Sand Island, and lay her north by northeast....
-See where Cable Junction is? Look to the left. The lighthouse. That's it.
-Where to?
-No place special. Just hanging out.
-I don't know about him -- I'm going down to the dock, maybe go sailing.
-Every day?
-What else is there to do?
-You could work out at the beach, make a few bucks for school.
-Do I have to?
-I'm going.
-What about tennis? Riding? fixing up old cars? Bartending?
-Bartending? I'm 17.
-Okay, not bartending. Why on the water every day?
-Because.
-Look, humor the old man -- just be careful.
-Don't go out if it's rough or any- thing, huh? We've had a lot of trouble.
-You stay here a minute.
-Oh, c'mon.
-Pop....
-Is Hooper coming to dinner?
-Michael.
-Yeah?
-I got something for you to do tomorrow.
-I kind of had plans....
-Sailing? Forget it. You're beached. Grounded. No more boats.
-Hey, come on....
-Mike? Is that you?
-Pop. I'm sorry.
-I passed out, but I'm okay.
-Jesus, don't freeze on me. What about the others?
-Sean's still out there.
-Dad, I'm sorry....
-I don't know what you did, but that kid stopped. I haven't heard one peep, not one 'breaker breaker' for days. Believe me, it's a pleasure....
-You said something about a camera.
-Sure, sure -- Jeff Hendricks brought in this camera, see, from underwater, and I didn't know how to get it open, but my brother-in- law, in Montauk, he works at a hi- fi store, and they sell cameras, so he....
-Did you get any pictures?
-Not bad -- that's a real fast lens, probably 1.4. Look at the diffusion, though....
-What else you got?
-Let's see -- you got a minute?
-Come on, Phil, don't jerk me around.
-Fantastic lady. Don't know what I'd do without her.
-Me neither.
-Y'know, Brody -- for the first time in years it's worth putting money into this town.
-May I have this dance?
-Wait a minute....
-Too late, it's written.
-Is Jeff Hendricks qualified to fill in as an interim Chief of Police in your absence?
-It came up during the meeting.
-What are you all, blind? It's a shark. Look -- teeth, jaw, gills.
-Is that what it is?
-What have you seen before? This is nothing. Seaweed. Mud. Some- thing in the lens.
-There is nothing to discuss.
-Will you listen to this man? Will you just listen to him? You really caused a panic on a public beach, you shoot up the place, God knows who could've been injured -- what if somebody de- cides to sue us? That could ruin us.
-Is that what it is? Dollars? Money? I'll pay for it. Take it out of my salary.
-You don't make enough.
-Maybe I don't make as much money as some bullshit rip-off artists around here, but I don't work the same way.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-As soon as I heard about it, I called you. This thing is big! His arms indicate big.
-Look at that:
-Length, 22 feet, 8 inches.
-Come on, let's check the bite radius.
-The what?
-Bite radius. You know, the size of the mouth?
-The whale's mouth?
-The Shark's mouth.
-The shark that did this. It was a shark, wasn't it?
-We don't know that, do we?
-But that's what we're here to find out, right?
-Could be a shark. But maybe not.
-Look, I know a little bit about sharks.
-Do you?
-Carcharadon Carcharias.
-That's it.
-Okay, so that's it.
-Is there one in these waters?
-What makes you think there might be?
-Because this big fish has been bitten by some other big fish....
-This is a mammal, not a fish.
-Jesus, don't quibble with me. I want to know if a Great White Shark did this.
-Probably.
-That's it? Probably? Look, sharks are attracted by blood, and thrashing around....
-And sound.
-Sound?
-Sound. Like sonar, or radar. They home in on irregular sounds, unusual sounds, any rhythmic low- frequency vibration.
-So there's one around here.
-It's either a Great White, or another killer whale.
-Can't you tell?
-Not when it's like this. This animal has been ashore for 10, 12 hours, and drifting for a day, at least. Every little nibbler in the sea's taken a bite.
-Look -- can Great White Sharks communicate? Send out signals, or something? You know, take revenge, sense an enemy....
-Where the hell were you?
-Late.
-Do I have to talk to those two?
-Can you take a little time out from your busy schedule to dance with the old man?
-Why?
-Remember 1959, the Jersey shore?
-And how. I thought you wouldn't respect me.
-Listen -- what are you doing later?
-Fooling around?
-Let's get the kid home.
-Mmmm.
-Sean's awake.
-Door's locked.
-Mrs. Silvera?
-Need a ride?
-Hey! That's my boss!
-You have to smoke so early in the morning?
-It's good with coffee.
-Eat Cheerios.
-Where's my day book?
-Why don't you take a half day and clean this junk up?
-Because, I'm in the middle of a boating accident, I got only four regular cops and one secretary, and a Chief Deputy who is constantly fiddling with the police boat He's another one.
-One what? Ah-ha!
-Boat nut. What is it about this place that makes everyone a freak for boating?
-Thank you. I'll tell him.
-For me?
-Sort of -- Mathew Hooper is aboard the research vessel Aurora, presently in the Antarctic Ocean, and won't be in radio range until half-past next spring.
-Oh, hi -- How was dinner?
-Oh, perfect -- a 75 per cent family affair. Where were you?
-Oww!
-Careful. What's wrong?
-Nothing.
-Nothing, huh?
-That's what I said. Is there any of that hand cleaner stuff?
-Use the little brush there. Why were you at Santos'?
-Found one of the missing victims from that boat deal.
-Oh. Want to talk about it?
-No.
-All summer?
-I know what you're going to say.
-Do you?
-In the city, it happened all the time -- some Kid o.d.'s on a rooftop, top, a drunk gets cut in pieces under the Brooklyn local, old people die alone in shitty apartments and three weeks later someone calls the cops because of the smell and the flies. Call the cops. What are we, immune?
-It was bad, wasn't it.
-The goddamn smell is always the same.
-Are you going to be able to sleep?
-Hi. I closed a sale today, without Len. That's $1200 commission, if the papers go through.
-That's great.
-Sean's asleep.
-What's wrong?
-What?
-What'd I say?
-That you were fired.
-Then that's what I meant. Fired. Canned. Out on my fanny. The Selectmen just made Hendricks the new Chief of Police. Just like that.
-Because of today? The beach?
-No sweat. A blessing in disguise. Back to the city, you can go to Bloomingdale's without waiting six hours for the ferryboat...we're surrounded by water here, you realize that? Me, surrounded by water...Ridiculous.
-Stop that! We're not going any place. You love it here. Tell me what the hell happened!
-Showed them the photo, showed them the goddamn Shark, big as life. They didn't see it. Not like me. Not like the poor son-of-a-bitch who snapped this li'l picture...He's out there, somewhere... I shot off my gun, shot off my big mouth, so they fired me....
-Honey, this is nothing...I don't know what it is. What did they....
-...Everybody wants the job. No one wants the authority. Except Hendricks. Fine. He can go out there in that precious boat, and when he looks whitey in his big mouth he can just call me. Call me in New York...tell him to kiss my ass....
-They have no right to treat you like that. You've given them every- thing. For four years, you've protected this town, the people on this island....
-Fired me! I'm not a hysterical man. I'm responsible. I know what I saw....
-I know you did....
-What're you going to do today?
-Turn in the car. Clean my desk, explain things to our sons, then maybe get shit-faced and punch your boss.
-I'll give notice.
-Hey -- it's not your job any more. I'm going to be late for work.
-What're you doing?
-What is it? What's the matter?
-Hello, hello. It went well, I thought.
-Very impressive ceremony. Good speech.
-I'm showing summer rentals. We got a helluva season going.
-We have got to talk, and we have got to talk alone.
-We're alone.
-Are you serious?
-Of course. Look -- I've got some missing persons, fatalities, evidence of a large predator....
-No one has seen a shark -- no fin, no bites, nothing. Be realistic.
-I got a feeling. I have to act on it -- you can understand that, can't you?
-Of course I can, but can't it wait? These things cost money, and this town doesn't have much money.
-We have to do something.
-We have done something -- hell, we damn near went broke putting up a shark watch tower on the beach -- it's the only one in 2000 miles, y'know.
-I know, I know....
-And I stood by while you told the people from Ramada and Marriott that if they put up a hotel they'd need $800,000 worth of steel net around their beaches! In New England? We all lost on that one.
-It's still a good idea.
-Martin, when we build up our tax base a little, you can have every- thing you want; right now, the town's broke.
-Please, Larry -- there's good reason. Those water skiers....
-A tragedy. But that was a boating accident; no bites, no sharks, nothing but a boating accident.
-Two of them are still missing!
-There's always deaths in these waters that never turn up. Are they all shark victims?
-Bullshit.
-Bullshit? I'll give you bullshit -- there's a dead whale out there with bites all over it!
-What am I, an ass? When you called me, I called Elkins, and her bosses. Nothing she saw is proof of anything.
-Someone has to do something.
-Thank God you guys were all together. I got something for you. Proof!
-Martin, this is kind of an official meeting
-Chief -- the Board of Selectmen has a question only you can answer.
-Martin, it could be anything.
-Martin, could you wait here for a few minutes while we make up our minds about something?
-Affirmative. Can you get your chopper airborne?
-10-4, in a few minutes. He's down checking a buoy in the Bay Channel.
-Get him the hell over to Amity Point, the old lighthouse. Right now.
-What for?
-There's a bunch of Kids day-sailing that way. Turn them back to port.
-That's it?
-That's it. Just do it, all right?
-10-4, soon as I can raise him.
-If they're not at the light, look for them. I don't want them out there. Get them back to port!
-Harbor Air, do you read? Over?
-Where the hell is Air One?
-That's what I'd like to know. Lost transmission at Cable Junction.
-Did he raise the Kids?
-Last transmission said ten juve- niles.
-Yeah? Then what?
-Then nothing. If you see him, tell him to switch to an operational frequency, or give me a status report yourself.
-Did you say Cable Junction?
-That's what he said.
-When?
-Mom, Michael won't talk to me.
-Can I go swimming?
-Some people.
-Can I go with you today?
-Hi Dad.
-Hang on!
-Dad! Dad!
-They made me go with them.
-Is that me?
-That's you.
-The lighthouse is a make-out spot.
-Now I really want to see it.
-I told you, remember?
-What's wrong?
-It killed her. It ate her.
-We're going to die.
-How old is your cousin?
-Seventeen. She's a senior.
-My cousin will be here tomorrow.
-You're not going out right away, are you?
-Waiting for Andy.
-I want you to meet my cousin.
-She just likes to tease. I think she really likes you.
-Mike! Are you going out?
-Did you ever see a dolphin?
-Sure. They like to play. We may see some today.
-Whoops, almost lost one. Can't play with the dolphins without skis....
-Ready?
-Terry! You okay?
-Help! Help!
-Get a dance yet?
-Nope.
-Me neither.
-Who'd you ask?
-Tina Wilcox.
-You're crazy. She's Ed's girl friend.
-Doesn't hurt to ask. Sometimes the most beautiful girls are the loneliest.
-That's a crock of shit.
-No class.
-That's what I want -- a gaff rig.
\ No newline at end of file
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-Anyone know what time it is?
-Maybe it's gone.
-By 7:46, when the tide turns around, we'll be twenty miles out. More, with this wind.
-Shut up.
-The wind drift is lateral.
-What's that mean?
-Take a break for a minute, okay?
-Eddie, can we do that? Can we go skiing? We can use my Uncle's boat. Eddie?
-Next week.
-Come on back up here!
-Nope.
-Give me back my hat!
-You want to tack, or just leave her pointed up like this?
-Just like this.
-What about sailing?
-The tide's running. It'll take us to the light.
-What about the others?
-They'll be there when we get there. Might even have a fire started.
-What're we going to do in the mean time?
-But first, a little juice....
-And second?
-Mmmmmm.
-Wait a minute. Promise me something.
-Anything. Anything.
-That you'll put down a blanket. I've got black and blue marks all over my butt, and my Mom's getting uptight about them.
-Right after, the Kids went out?
-What Kids? Who went out?
-All of them. Mike, Junior Vaughn, Brookie Peters, Pat, Lucy -- all that whole gang.
-Mike? Our Mike?
-Mrs. Brody, look -- if he can't go, then you can't go. Neither of you can go.
-Hurry, please.
-Be careful....
-Rich or poor, it's nice to have money.
-Figure they split?
-How much longer?
-Until we find something.
-About damn time.
-What is it?
-Power line.
-It comes here from Cable Junction.
-Untangle it and let's go -- We don't need a blackout on the island.
-What's the lighthouse?
-It's an island, near here, with a lighthouse. We sometimes hang out there, you know....
-Too hot tor those two? I can't believe it.
-We'll be over by the lighthouse.
-I'd like to go out to the light- house with you.
-I'm not sure I can.
-It'll be fun, come on!
-Maybe you and Brooke could come over to the town beach....
-No way. Everybody's going sailing. If you don't want to take me, just say so.
-That's not it. My dad told me not to go.
-You do everything your parents tell you?
-No.
-I thought you were grounded.
-That's fun! Let's race for some- thing!
-I don't care.
-What's wrong?
-Faster! Faster!
-Mike and Larry are racing! Loser goes home alone!
-If we beat them, they can both go home stag! Single-O! Alone! Jackie can come back in this boat!
-What about me?
-Uh. Well. Maybe you could give Polo a hand going in....
-Heading back?
-He's got to help or it won't work.
-I don't think she's such hot stuff.
-When are we going out? You and me?
-Not tonight.
-Who wouldn't.
-They're turning around.
-I don't need you. Andy's here.
-You always go with Andy.
-Do I have to play with the little kids?
-I want Fruit Loops!
-Eat Cheerios.
-You're going out.
-Yeah.
-You're going sailing.
-Maybe.
-Take me.
-No.
-I want to go with you!
-Quiet! Shhh!
-Michael....
-Look -- if you're going to get in the way, you can just go home.
-Yeah.
-And if you have any questions about recreational possibilities, Ellen Brody here will be happy to answer them.
-I think we got a couple of live ones.
-Brody's riding his tower.
-Wave to my son.
-How the hell do we get him down. from there?
-Oh, my God....
-You should've been out there. You should've seen him waving that gun, like a maniac. There were shots fired!
-Larry, I'm a businessman, trying to make a buck like anybody else.
-So? So?
-So it can't be done like that. The man's a menace, plain and simple.
-Be reasonable, please....
-We're ready for you.
-Why don't you take a rest, Brian?
-I'm only walking him. You caught him. You have to be exhausted.
-Go on, you're tired.
-It hasn't adjusted.
-Don't feel bad.
-Go on, Doctor.
-No one's ever caught a Great White except indirectly in fishing nets. I want to dart it and keep it alive.
-It would make a marvelous attraction; the only Great White in captivity.
-Absolutely. Good idea.
-With those camera lights and...
-He's going with you, Doctor.
-No, it will be too much distraction. I don't want that many people in the water. I'll go in, give it a belly shot, and get out.
-I don't understand. Overman's too good a diver to disappear.
-I'll need more men to look.
-Can't help you, Mike. Don't have the manpower.
-We're going to have to cover the entire lagoon.
-What you're saying is we have a Great White shark in the lagoon.
-What's your plan, Brody?
-It's Miller time!
-You buying?
-Sure am.
-You see the three-quarter socket?
-Yeah. Down there.
-Aren't you suiting up, mate?
-No.
-Well, don't worry about your fiancee. We'll watch over her.
-She can take care of herself. She doesn't need you.
-Never know down there. Helps to have a friend, sometimes.
-How many sharks have you killed?
-Thank you.
-Well, not much longer to go.
-What is it, 97 days?
-Till this opens, not our wedding.
-Hope I make it through both.
-Look, Kathryn. They're jealous.
-They're acting very strange suddenly.
-Pre-opening jitters.
-Damn it. I can't understand! I gotta go, hon.
-Don't forget you have your brother.
-Yeah.
-That macho pompous English --
-Don't let him get you. Just continue your patterns and pretend he's not around.
-My imagination isn't that good.
-Honey, I gotta go.
-You called, Doctor?
-Everything's going wrong. I'm having more trouble with Bobby than I ever have before. I can't get him to respond.
-How come?
-I don't know. I can't understand it. Something's bothering them.
-And what else is bothering you?
-... Hutton. He really pisses me off.
-Yeah, you really don't like him.
-I don't like what he does.
-It's his work.
-He doesn't need the money. He inherited a fortune. He kills for kicks. TV battles between non-predator fish and divers. The diver always wins.
-Okay, forget him now. I'm going to pick up Sean. Take a ride?
-I can't leave now. We taking Sean out?
-Sure. Want to try that new Italian place?
-No, you don't need all that starch. You're getting too fat.
-Not enough loving.
-They're coming with us?
-Where's the rubber band?
-Look, Michael... you don't have to come.
-What do I do now?
-Take a deep breath and hold it.
-That's cute, Kathryn. Real cute.
-Honey... you all right?
-No.
-Are you scared?
-Damn it!
-Hi, baby.
-Baby goddamn scared me to death!
-They just wanted to say hello.
-Let's head to the gate and work our way back.
-That's a lot of ground to cover.
-It's romantic down here.
-Oh, yeah. Very.
-You know, on our honeymoon, we should go scuba diving.
-What's wrong?
-... If nothing's wrong, why are we stopping here?
-... Electrical connection malfunctioning.
-You sound like Houston Mission Control. What the hell does it mean?
-That we swim.
-Swim where? Out there? Oh, no, forget it, not me! You go, I'm staying.
-Michael, the sub's dead.
-Yeah, and so will I be if I start swimming in that blackass jungle.
-Where are you going?
-Up.
-And leave me down here???
-Make up your mind.
-What mind? If I had a mind, I'd never have let you talk me into this.
-I talked you into this?
-I'd have fallen in love with a pilot or a mountain climber.
-Are you coming...?
-You would, wouldn't you? I'd end up whale shit, you wouldn't care.
-You all right?
-I think so. I'm not sure... Are you?
-Michael...
-How the hell did it get in here?
-God, they're horrible. I hate them. Did you see its eyes? How black they are? The look in them?
-Don't think about it. It's over.
-You're going down there again?
-Yes.
-After what happened to us?
-I know I can capture it.
-Oh, yeah. Really nice. Who's your designer? Sassoon Shark?
-I got it on sale. A real steel.
-Here.
-What's that?
-Fine piece of engineering.
-Should protect you a little, from the compression. If that thing gets ahold of you.
-Kathryn...
-Wouldn't this whole thing be a little safer in the daytime?
-It's easier to lure sharks at night.
-Change your mind?
-No.
-You amaze me. I'm more scared than you.
-I can use a shot of what he's got.
-After this has opened, when everything's settled down, you and I are going away. Just the two of us. No dolphins, no sharks, no whales, no penguins. Just you and me.
-Sounds wonderful.
-You want me to stay?
-Get some sleep. And tell Sean I'm sorry.
-Finally.
-How's your patient?
-Recovering nicely.
-Mmmm... you smell good.
-You don't.
-They said you'd be here.
-What's up?
-I need more pressure in the shark tank.
-Okay.
-I want to make sure the White is getting enough flow. Would you do that for me?
-No, we'll go through here.
-... Mean through the tubes?
-Yes. It's faster.
-No, I'm not going through there.
-Michael, come on, don't be silly. This is the quickest way. You're not going to walk all the way around?
-I'm not going to walk through that shark arcade.
-They're not going to hurt you. They're encased in plastic.
-I don't want to see them, Kathryn.
-Calvin wants me to move the White for tomorrow.
-... He ought to put him in here.
-It's too soon to move him.
-So tell Calvin.
-I did. He wants it on exhibit.
-Honey, what is it?
-Hydrophobia...
-Michael, take deep breaths.
-I have to get out of here.
-Come on.
-I can't take water, Kathryn.
-Yes, you can.
-Put it under your pillow and sleep on it and the tooth fairy will --
-It's a shark's tooth!
-So?
-What's the big deal? A shark got Overman, and we got the shark.
-That's just it, Michael. We don't!
-What do you mean, we don't?
-This tooth is from another shark. A shark that could be 30 feet long!
-That's what I've come to ask you. Is there any large place that has a strong current of water flowing?
-What did you just say before? About water flowing through them?
-That's why they're always moving. They have to have it.
-Somebody better get down there!
-Come on!
-How is he?
-Couple of fractures, lacerations. They say he's gonna be all right.
-... I have to go, honey. Phillip and I are going down together to kill the shark.
-That's right.
-Who's going to do it?
-Me.
-Michael, you're not going down there.
-I am. You're not.
-But you --
-Michael, you don't have to go down there.
-I want that shark, Kathryn.
-You don't have to prove anything.
-Are you okay?
-Go where?
-On the telly. We're to film him for the evening news.
-Nobody told me.
-I just did. Can you make them do tricks?
-They're not tricks. They're behavior patterns.
-Fine. Have them do some.
-I don't know. They're nervous and skittish right now.
-Okay now. Have Flipper flip or something.
-It's no use. They won't come into the lagoon.
-Well then, can you have them jump to the camera over here?
-Wait a minute. These aren't kangaroos, Mr. Hutton. They're dolphins.
-I thought they were clever.
-I can have them walk backwards.
-No, no. That won't do.
-I told you, something's upset them.
-Well, I have to get this into the networks. If you can't do it, you can't do it, that's all.
-I'm sorry.
-Unhappy combination. Most likely one's inside the other.
-Sharks are man-biters, Mister Hutton. Not man-eaters --
-That's a load of codswopple. A Great White doesn't fear man. It doesn't fear beast. It's an orgy of food and blood.
-I think we can capture it. I'd like to try.
-You can get killed!
-I've handled sharks before. Bigger than this one.
-Calvin, let me go down there and kill the bastard.
-No!
-It'll chop up half a million dollars of your tropical fish in two minutes.
-Calvin, I insist I be allowed to capture it!
-Three hundred million years of evolution have created the greatest butcher the world's ever known.
-It's one of the world's greatest creatures.
-A shark could have a hundred embryos in its sack. You know how many are born? Maybe five. They eat each other before birth! They're born killers!
-I will.
-Well, then I'm going to film it.
-Like hell!
-I want that shark alive.
-You look like an orange worm.
-Shark bait. Draws them over for closeups.
-Lunch for Whitey. Something to munch on in case things get dicey.
-We're taking that shark alive!
-Let's hope he knows that.
-I know it and I will not go down into this lagoon as long as you carry that!
-Why?
-I insist you get rid of that bomb.
-Afraid I can't do that.
-You're supposed to film it, not turn it to hash!
-How's sleeping beauty?
-Still sleeping.
-Kiss him, maybe he'll turn into a frog.
-Should be coming out of it soon.
-Could be a new dance... Walking the Shark.
-Thanks for helping.
-Not at all.
-Why are you?
-I like it when they wake up.
-So do I. But for different reasons.
-You were quite daring in capturing him. Very skillful indeed.
-Skillful? I missed my first shot.
-Some miss all their shots.
-Somebody could have gotten hurt.
-That's what life is, Doctor. Full of chances to hurt yourself, or somebody else.
-You're a strange man, Mr. Hutton.
-Philip.
-Before, you were ready to feed this shark a hand grenade. Now you're helping to nurse it back to life.
-That's because I am the shark.
-We're all from the sea, Mr. Hutton. Our destiny is linked to the fate of the oceans. By continuing to destroy fish, man destroys himself.
-I think that you and I are natural enemies.
-Hello. I think his nap's over.
-Get ready to go.
-Believe me, I am.
-Well, Doctor. You've got your shark.
-Sharks have to keep moving. They can never stop or they'll suffocate. If water isn't always flowing through them, they'll die.
-I've heard of a White that big, in Australia...
-He's big as a bloody bus!
-We can assume he's back in the water intake passage.
-She, Mister Hutton.
-A piece of pie on Sunday.
-I think they'll come out now.
-They still seem nervous.
-He's a young one.
-When did this happen?
-I knew it; it's my fault. We moved it too soon.
-Don't blame yourself.
-No one's ever done it before. It was a good try...
-Not good enough.
-Give me a ride?
-Sure.
-Musclehead?
-He's missing.
-Kelly, could you look after Sean for a while? Show him around for me?
-Sure. No problem.
-Sean. Sean, where are you?
-Hi, Mike.
-How you doing, Kelly?
-I'm Neo-Senephrened out. Think I'm catching a cold.
-So, you just get here?
-Yeah, from Boston.
-I was seeing this guy off. He flew in from Dallas. Wants to marry me. He's okay, but Texans are so possessive.
-Massachussettans aren't.
-'Course they're also so rich.
-... Massachussettans aren't.
-How long you staying?
-I don't know, it depends.
-I haven't seen that much, but so far it looks great.
-You gonna work at The Kingdom?
-Depends on big brother.
-I'm a water-skier.
-Are you really?
-Sure am.
-That's too bad. I don't like water. I don't like being around in. I never go in it.
-How come?
-Well, I needed a cold shower.
-This is where to be. High and dry.
-You were great out there!
-Did you see me?! Wasn't I terrific?
-Herpes?
-Sean, do you have herpes?
-Besides that.
-I don't know, what else is there?
-I know! We can take the gondola ride!
-The one that goes underwater?
-Yes, it's great!
-No, Kelly, I don't want to...
-Come on, it's fun!
-Not for me. I don't go in the water, remember?
-You're not in the water. You're in a gondola.
-No, think of something else.
-Sean, this is ridiculous. You're acting very immature.
-Isn't this fun!
-Told you you'd like it.
-Now what's this do?
-No... It can't be.
-Let's go, let's go!
-It's okay, Sean.
-Take it up.
-Take it up!
-The space shuttle has landed!
-Hold still, damn it!
-What're you doing later?
-Taking my boyfriend to the airport.
-I don't talk that way.
-Remember, skiers stay up longer.
-Shut up, Tod! Be serious!
-Watch it, I'm gonna fall. I'm gonna go!
-Ahhh, ahhh...
-Now what?
-Gotta sneeze.
-Don't you dare.
-Back, Kelly. Lean back!
-Did you see that?
-What?
-On monitor three. Was a glimpse of something.
-That?
-Yes, there is goes.
-Bring the crane over. Come down. Easy down.
-Hutton, how the hell did you get my crane?
-Calvin said it was all right.
-Yeah, well I didn't!
-Make sure you put this back.
-You set that thing off down there, you don't know what will happen.
-Watch it, Brody. You're ruining the shot.
-Your friend Overman picked a hell of a time to come back.
-Yeah, poor bastard.
-I lost a good cameraman in Australia last year. A Great White chopped him in half with one bite.
-Hey, I don't want to hear.
-That's how they do it, you know. Seizes its prey and shakes its body savagely. Teeth gnaw through a man like a buzz saw.
-Buzz off.
-I will, old boy, tomorrow. Our work is done here. Just came to say goodbye, and good luck.
-Yeah? Well, in that case, have a drink.
-Thanks. Bullshot.
-So where you go off to, Hutton? Some expedition in New Guinea or Outer Mongolia?
-No, South Georgia.
-What the hell's there?
-Polar bears.
-Polar bears in Georgia???
-South Georgia, Antarctica.
-Oh...
-The world's southern most reaches.
-How come you're so brave with all this stuff?
-Tradition. Royal sense of adventure that's been in my family for centuries. Dates back to the Crusades and King Richard. What I was born to do.
-Yeah, tradition's a bitch, ain't it?
-Reach for the limit I always say.
-Actually, thirty-five is probably more accurate.
-Filter system number four. Is it large enough?
-How far away is filter number four?
-Five hundred yards.
-After all, that's how you catch fish, isn't it?
-I'll go with you.
-No way.
-I'll stay out of your way. I won't interfere.
-He's big, Hutton. You never saw anything so big. Watch yourself.
-What kind of trouble?
-It's not closing, Mike.
-That's impossible.
-I know. But we show it's not closing.
-Let us know as soon as you have anything.
-We see him, Mike. Between the stadium and the ski show island.
-Hey, what's goin' on, little brother!
-Damn! You sonuvabitch! Look at you!
-Look great, don't I?
-Got a job for me?
-Yeah, we'll find something for you. Shoveling shark shit or something.
-Sharks???
-In a restaurant. You sit there and they swim around you.
-How'd you do in school?
-Great. I got one B, two C's, and eight incompletes.
-Hey, I'm proud of you, kid.
-Took it this morning.
-He needs a haircut.
-How is he? Still fighting crime?
-Last week he broke up a major counterfeiting ring. Gang of kids were using slugs in the Pac-Man games.
-Big bust! He confiscate their water pistols?
-Booked them all at Baskin- Robbins.
-He taught us good, though, didn't he, Sean? We were lucky to grow up the way we did.
-Who's grown up?
-Gee, it's good to see you!
-I want to see Kathryn.
-Come on, let's go.
-Something wrong?
-Okay, you two, have a good life without me. I gotta go.
-Mike, this is fantastic. I mean, you're responsible for building all this. What a job you've done! Maybe I'll quit school and come down here and work with you. Brody Brothers Construction. We've always wanted to do that together. Boat building.
-It's not that easy. Worked construction every summer to get through school. Three years apprentice in the park's engineering department, and two years to build all this. Finish school first, Sean. Then make up your mind. If you still want to work with me, we'll have plenty of time.
-You and Kathryn gonna stay here?
-This company's expanding. They got parks in Texas, Ohio, California. I think I'm gonna be going to Waco.
-Well, Dad asked me to ask you this, about the wedding. Is there any chance you and Kathryn will get married in Amity?
-Tell Dad we're getting married in Las Vegas. In one of those chapels. He can meet us there.
-Yeah, he'll really go for that.
-She still talking to you?
-We're in love.
-Sure.
-No, really. I've never met anyone like her before. This is it.
-Yeah, right. That's what you said about Janet, and Beth, and Barbara --
-We'll shoot this with an .18, boys.
-That bugger moves fast.
-Give me a 400-foot magazine; we may be down there for a while.
-I wouldn't mind going down with her.
-You want to show this?
-You'll spoil her.
-Thea....
-Sometimes my father puts me in his lap and lets me steer the Jeep.
-It has its virtues. It hasn't fallen down yet....
-Come on, sweetheart....
-But you always let me....
-Daddy, why can't I...?
-Did you hear what I said? Come inside....
-You're welcome. I was the one who cried.
-Only children are my favorites. That means you, MaGee....
-Can I make sandwiches...?
-You said it wasn't polite to interrupt people....
-Yes, I did.
-I bought him his first legal drink. He got so pissed that night....
-He was such a good-natured kid... Always going out of his way....
-He was doing his job....
-Where are you going?
-What do I think? I think it's a lovely idea....
-I've always wanted to ride one of those....
-No way....
-Like mother, like son....
-It sure is good to be home....
-She calls it, 'Tourist On The Loose.' Local government commissioned it. For the public beach....
-Make a list.
-We need milk....
-Big unveiling ceremony in a couple of weeks....
-We need beer....
-I miss him, Matt. I still can't believe he's gone.
-It doesn't take much to remember what day they come....
-My brain is shrinking. There's only so much room.
-Don't give me that preoccupied scientist crap. I'm trying to get ready for....
-How come it's my responsibility?
-I take out the garbage, because...I'm glad we got that straightened out....
-We don't have anything straightened out. You're uptight about something ...what's wrong?
-What the hell are we arguing about?
-No fair, I'm not armed.
-Then don't come any closer.
-Turn it off....
-No....
-Off....
-I have work....
-Close the door.
-Where have you been...?
-What's wrong? What happened?
-The doctor said she should be all right...She's in shock....
-You knew...?
-Sweetheart....
-She could have been killed...You knew and you didn't tell us...You let your mother think....
-Where is she?
-How could you do that? Your own daughter....
-Where's my mother?
-Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell us?
-No cooking while you're here...No washing dishes...No cleaning....
-It'll grow on you.
-I could use a half-dozen more arms ...I've only got two weeks to get this thing finished....
-Do you and Michael ever talk about his work...? About spending so much time working in the water?
-Usually it's all he talks about...You mustn't worry....
-I can't help it....
-I used to worry...But you know what happens, you find out that scuba diving's safer than climbing into the bathtub....
-I shouldn't interfere... My mother-in-law is so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock....
-Henny Youngman....
-You caught me....
-You want to try your hand at something...?
-At least he doesn't have a beard....
-All he did was kiss me....
-Beginning of what?
-Whatever happens next.....
-Give it some time, Ellen...See what happens.
-Part of me wanted to go off with him, the rest of me couldn't...I don't know why he wants me....
-Maybe he's got good taste...I don't think he's spent much time with a woman like you....
-We will...We'll have a lot of time together. What are you going to do now?
-We'll be there....
-Michael! This thing working?
-You rigged it...You spent all that money on an education and you come back looking like this....
-We have three months of work and approximately no money left to support it....
-Sweet breezes...Sweet women....
-What the hell's it doing in warm water anyway...?
-Get the bang sticks. We're going down.
-Bang sticks are like yelling at it....
-They won't kill it....
-I hope the man knows what he's doing....
-Stop that....
-Stop what?
-That....
-That hurt....
-Serves you right. Will you please stop....
-I see what you're doing....
-I'm hungry, Mom....
-Are you all right?
-We don't want any....
-The fish. Check it....
-You check it....
-Ask the big doctor about his work. Tough life you Bahamian beach bum... Playing in the water all day....
-He heard that.
-A big one....
-Don't be late.
-In a minute....
-Yes!
-You can stay in my room.
-Can I ride one sometime...?
-I never....
-I like Grandma's cooking....
-No, no...It's too dangerous....
-Your father was six then. Just like you....
-We have to dig it deep so the water will go all the way around...So we can swim to it....
-You're coming, aren't you...?
-No one. Nothing. We've got to get this finished before the tide comes in.
-What's it cost to take a ride on that plane...?
-I almost forgot....
-I put everything in my room. My Teddy bear is joining us.
-I'll be in to read you a story.
-I will. I'll miss you, Grandma.
-It came for him. It waited all this time and it came for him....
-Sit down, Ma....
-I want you to get out of the water....
-What?
-I want you to give up that terrible job.
-Come on, Mom, you can't be serious....
-You're damn right I'm serious....
-I'm just getting started....
-Mom, you're upset. Sit down...Please....
-Hey, come on, you can't believe that voodoo. Sharks don't commit murder. They don't pick out a person....
-It picked Sean...It killed your father....
-Dad died from a heart attack....
-There's never been a great white where we live. It's warm water... They don't like it....
-Oh, it looks like my uncle's. He taught me how to sail when I was a kid....
-Oh, I didn't mean.... I'm being such a Grandma....
-I didn't mean to start that....
-Don't be such a Grandma...I was always climbing something....
-All you all right?
-How are you doing?
-Okay.
-I'll be all right, Michael.
-Nothing out of the ordinary....
-I want you to give up your work....
-Mom, please don't start that again....
-You could teach...You could....
-I'm not going to quit now....
-You're having a good time....
-I enjoy his company....
-I don't like him chasing around after you...I don't trust him....
-I'm not going to bother you anymore about your work....
-You're not a pain in the ass....
-It's not easy. None of it is. I have to find some way to get on with my life and I'm going to try. I finally figured that out. I'm going to do my best....
-That's it? Good...I thought you'd break out the champagne....
-I'm pleased. I really am. Really....
-No more sharks. I'll stay for another week, then....
-You just got here....
-It's late....
-Trying to write our report....
-You look tired....
-You and Sean used to make....
-I have to get this finished.
-I'm leaving in a few days. I don't want to do that with you unhappy....
-I m not unhappy. Frustrated maybe... Discouraged a little. It'll work out....
-I'm worried.. We haven't had our....
-There's nothing to worry about....
-You looked just like your father... The first time the shark came to Amity....
-I don't want to talk about that.
-It's a terrible thing to know some- thing no one else wants to believe.
-You hungry?
-It got him....
-Why'd you come out here?
-I want you all to come to Amity this summer.
-Promise me you'll be all right....
-Promise me....
-We will...We'll have a lot of time together, Michael....
-No....
-First time for everything is the best. After that you know too much and it's never quite the same.
-Can you just go off...?
-Flies the plane....
-I don't know why I've told you all this. I hardly know you.
-Sometimes talking to a stranger is easier....
-I...I can't explain it. It's just something I feel.
-Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. The nightmares....
-It could have been an accident....
-It was no accident....
-I'm not saying you're wrong, just that there are other possibilities....
-Depends on where you want to go....
-How can you just take the plane like this?
-Boss' day off...Take the wheel....
-I can't....
-Sure you can....
-I don't know how....
-What are you doing?
-It's just like driving a car....
-Where do I pull off...?
-I'm only doing this to get out of my family's hair....
-One time I was flying supplies up the Amazon. Went down in the jungle....
-You're not going to tell me, are you?
-Got picked up by a tribe of head- hunters....
-You're impossible....
-They took me to the chief, who took a long look at me, then took me in his hut....
-How do you like flying?
-What's wrong?
-I'm fine.
-No, you're not....
-You promised me a drink....
-Sharks come and go, Ellen. People don't have anything to do with it....
-The kind with an umbrella in it....
-A drink with an umbrella in it....
-A big one....
-Couple of more passes and I'll buy my own airplane.. Hell, maybe my own airline....
-You're not going to bet it all....
-All or nothing. You want to roll them for me?
-Would you suffer through a dance with me?
-I have two right feet.
-Our little island seems to agree with you....
-I have my own little island.
-I tried winter once. Burlington, Vermont. Flew a run to New York. I have a bone in my foot that still hasn't thawed. When I was a small boy....
-That's hard to imagine....
-I could take some time off....
-You're always taking time off....
-I'll nick the boss' plane again....
-What?
-I borrow it without telling him....
-Won't you get in trouble...?
-Only if he finds out... It's a short hop to the Caribbean. We could take a few days....
-There must be plenty of women who would be glad to go....
-I have this overwhelming desire to kiss you, Ellen Brody.
-Why?
-Because it wouldn't occur to you to know why. Blushing suits you....
-I'm sorry...I....
-There's nothing to be sorry about.
-You sure you don't need glasses?
-I tried to tell you...I tried....
-I can't....
-They had them on the big one....
-I have coffee in the thermos.
-I'll get it back next time.
-How come it bumps up and down when there's no road?
-Want to go for a little ride?
-I don't know why I fish here...Never catch anything...Must be a sign under the water...'Beware, Hoagie's here....'
-You the architect?
-Hurry!
-Can you keep a secret? Something no one else knows?
-Yes I can....
-It was theirs anyway. I 11 buy us all a drink....
-I hope she's a good sailor....
-You're going after her in that? You're crazy...It'll take all day in that bathtub....
-When we find her we'll radio her position...The Coast Guard will pick her up. Don't worry....
-What do you mean, it'll find her?
-Grab your socks....
-You sure you know how to do this.
-Hell, that wasn't half bad.. Get going...I'll keep it busy....
-It'll come for the plane. It's attracted to metal. The electro- magnetic impulse....
-What say we get the hell out of here, Ellen Brody. ...
-Maybe the plane gave it indigestion....
-Keep it steady....
-Jake tells me you're going to have to fly for the rest of your life to pay off what you lost at the crap table....
-Mind if I cut in? Your date's lonely....
-I want you to leave her alone. I don't want you involving her in....
-What do you deliver on all those charters you...?
-Can't this thing go any faster?
-Come on, Hoagie....
-What happened?
-The damn thing is going to have our asses....
-Matt?
-I don't know what the hell to say....
-Yeah....
-Still chasing fish?
-Still tagging conch?
-We'll be done pretty soon....
-Tricky little devils, aren't they? How's the degree doing?
-Inch by inch....
-She has good days and bad...I don't know....
-She's a tough lady....
-I wish there was something I could do....
-She's had a lot to deal with...She needs time....
-Would you talk to her? She's got it in her head that the shark came for him. She still blames it for my father's death....
-The stuffing came out of the pillow he was wearing....
-Feathers all over the place....
-Let me speak to Ellen....
-I'll get her. Have a good Christmas, Matt....
-Stop farting around....
-Stop busting my hump....
-How many...?
-Will you leave me alone...?
-You tagging them...?
-I'm separating the ladies from the gentlemen....
-You moved any slower, you'd grow roots...We've got a schedule...shake it, man....
-The females have eggs....
-We're being paid to see where they go...How they propagate....
-If we had some decent money, I'd be able to read their temperatures... Study their motor systems....
-I know how to tag a damn conch....
-The readings suck....
-Maybe it's the tags that suck....
-I made them, man....
-I stuck them on, man....
-You didn't stick them on right....
-If you made them right, it wouldn't happen...They leak....
-A blind man could find more conch on a mountainside....
-You couldn't find your ass with both hands....
-You leave me high and dry...You come back looking like a zombie....
-Hey!
-Shouldn't pick on that. Sorry. I'm sorry about your brother....
-I missed you, is all. It's dull around here working alone...Smelling all that sweet cologne....
-Put me down....
-They won't fight with me....
-Maybe I missed you too....
-Bad boy....
-Sharp shirt, Jake....
-Office of Naval Research has some money....
-Forget it....
-Money is money....
-They put bombs on dolphins....
-A regular tropo...Spend the rest of your life in a bathing suit, living off nickel and dime grants. You want to be a bum all your life, be my guest. Not me. I'm not growing old chasing snails and dying from terminal crotch rot....
-It's not a bad life, Jake....
-He's just trying to keep you from disappearing up your own....
-How many?
-Stop busting my hump....
-Oh, it's okay for you, but not for me....
-I wish you wouldn't say that....
-What?
-Trouble with you, Jake, is you have no sense of humor....
-You guys are making this into some- thing that just isn't so... It's just a shark. A great big bloody wonderful shark. Don't say anything to anyone. The locals find out they'll panic. They'll want to kill it. We've got us a great white, Michael. We're going to do us some real research....
-Where is everybody?
-What happened to Clarence and...?
-What for? We've got a job to finish ...Why are you making the monitor?
-We're out of money, partner.. We wrap it up, write it up and turn it in... How come your heart sounds stronger than mine? You got two of them...?
-We don't write up anything until we're done....
-Okay.. .we're done, man....
-When we got the grant....
-When I got the grant.....
-When I signed on....
-When I invited you...
-We got it together, Jake....
-Okay...we got it together....
-We have at least three months' work left. We can't write a report...We don't know enough....
-We've got a rare bird here, Michael. Great whites don't come to the Bahamas. There's never been one down here before. I'm not just going to let it swim away.
-My name goes on that report. It's a half-assed job, I don't get my doctorate. Neither do you....
-I thought we were planning a long rosy future together.
-I don't know shit about electronics....
-You sure you've done this before?
-And it's always worked?
-What are we getting out of this old bucket?
-What she's got. Nine knots....
-How long have you known Hoagie?
-What?
-How long have you known Hoagie?
-What the hell does Hoagie have to do with this?
-How long?
-Bring her to starboard.
-How long has he been here...?
-Who?
-Hoagie.
-I don't remember. One day he was just here....
-What's so funny about that?
-Bring her about. We're headed in the wrong direction....
-Half the pilots down here fly drugs ...He's always going off....
-Half don't...Bring her about....
-I am...You must know something about him....
-He gambles...He likes a good time...I see him around....
-We lost it....
-Maybe the gear crapped out....
-If you hadn't been gassing about Hoagie....
-I've got about a half dozen...I'm going to tag them. You hearing anything?
-I'm coming...How close is it?
-It's my turn in the barrel, man....
-You fall off a horse, you get right back on or you don't ride again....
-I don't like it....
-I didn't ask you to....
-What about Carla's gig?
-I'm going down, Jake....
-You getting a reading on them?
-I live to hear the sound...You all right?
-What about the monitor...? You getting anything on the shark?
-Nothing...Hey Michael...You know I was thinking about yesterday. Maybe all that was wrong was he was hungry....
-How come only me?
-Maybe he only likes white meat....
-Funny, Jake...Funny.
-A Moray eel...A Moray eel....
-'It was so ugly...It was so big....'
-'A Moray eel....'
-'Snuck up on me....'
-Shit....
-Don't be so down, man. Money's gone...Shark's gone...We're back to conch...We've got it made....
-Shove it....
-You'll be the eternal tropo...The old man and the sea...Know the words to this one? 'Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear, and he shows them pearly white...'
-Stop that!
-You don't like my voice...?
-I don't like the song.
-You told me what?
-Holy Christ....
-What the hell are you doing?
-I've got to get to her....
-If it works, if we can get it inside the bastard and set it off, it'll shock the hell out of it. We'll need a slave switch to set it off. Pull the dry cell out of the radio.
-All the time....
-It'll work....
-Theory, partner...If it responds to external electrical impulse, it might respond to one coming from inside it...Confuse it...Drive it away....
-Wait for the sucker to charge, then hit the switch. Just like taking a picture.
-The big picture...If we can't get him to swallow it, we'll shove it up his....
-Your equipment has crapped out again....
-I'll do it, Jake.
-No way....
-It's my fault...I have to....
-We need it to eat electronics, man ...Not you. Get it on me....
-Jake.
-Listen to Carla...Marry me...I'm tall, dark and handsome...two out of three ain't bad....
-How much longer? This is supposed to be your party.
-I knew there was a reason I could afford this. To the woman of my dreams.. Who grows more beautiful....
-Here it comes....
-Who grows more beautiful....
-Here comes the cow ca-ca....
-More beautiful with each passing minute...
-I told you....
-Now wait a minute... I'm being serious here....
-Oh, Jake...
-Don't go weak in the knees on me tonight....
-I just want to make an honest woman of you....
-She's in management....
-I'm training to....
-Manage the whole damn place some day. I'm looking forward to living in the style to which I would like to become accustomed....
-Woman has taste....
-When he has a pillow over his head....
-That bad, huh?
-You have the safety talk at school, one o'clock tomorrow....
-That man keeps calling about his training film. I can't convince him we don't have a S.W.A.T. team.
-Where's Lenny?
-Gone to Ben Masters' place. Cow tipping.
-Cow tipping?
-Claims kids come around at night and tip over his sleeping cows. They're not giving milk.
-I'll take care of it.
-Did you like that, Mama?
-Yes.
-I'm glad of it. I'd rather please you than anybody I know of. Oh, darlin', will you give me something?
-What?
-You'll never guess. Shut your eyes, Mama. Shut 'em for little Jakie. Ha. I'm gonna steal something. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I'll give it back to you some day, too, you see if I don't. Mama, darlin', if I'm a success in this show, well, we're gonna move from here. Oh yes, we're gonna move up in the Bronx. A lot of nice green
-Oh no--
-Yes, she will. You see if she isn't. And I'm gonna get you a nice pink dress that'll go with your brown eyes.
-No, Jakie, no. I-I-I-
-What? Whatta you mean, no? Who is -- who is telling you? Whatta you mean, no? Yes, you'll wear pink or else. Or else you'll wear pink. And, darlin', oh, I'm gonna take you to Coney Island.
-Yeah?
-Yes, I'm gonna ride on the Shoot-the-Chutes. An' you know in the Dark Mill? Ever been in the Dark Mill?
-Oh, no. I wouldn't go ...
-As I said, Sergeant, you nearly ran into <u>me</u>? What's the problem?
-I'm afraid it's the "van" again.
-The van?
-Is it your vehicle?
-I'm sorry to worry you with this, but we had a real serious robbery, and we- 're chasing a white V.W. van? You guy came up an the computer, so as a matt- er of routine we have to check. Could you tell me who's driven it recently?
-Only me and Mom ..
-How about any guys on your staff?
-Did you bring it with you?
-I hope I'm not intruding?
-Be my guest. What you got?
-I dunno .. Guess the dozer musta shifted him? You need some hands up here to look ..
-No, Sir. I haven't started till Monday. I'm a "tourist."
-Mr Blattis, of our local news- paper. You sure it's a suicide?
-So what happened to the barbecues, and fishing?
-What about that kid, Ross?
-What do you think?
-We give it one more hour. Did the photographer do the dogs?
-The <u>dogs</u>?
-Yeah, he can go ...
-Who is who?
-Not for me ..
-Not today .. I'm on a diet to- day .. I'll take a diet soda ..
-How's the new residence?
-O.K.
-What does that mean?
-Not too good in daylight ..
-What time is it?
-Why so coy about the word "frozen"?
-Because, don't get into it ...
-There's nothing in the files?
-It's an "unsolved." They spent 500 thousand dollars & bought emselves a dead end - You might wanna check it with Taylor, he worked the case.
-He thinks you stole his promotion. What exactly you doin there, John?
-It's a technique I read about. If you smoke 60 a day, you buy three packs, throw one cigar- ette away, and smoke 59. Day 2, you throw 2 away and smoke 58 ..
-Why don't you throw them all away, and smoke none?
-You want my advice?
-Maybe?
-You gotta stop smoking ..
-I <u>am</u> stopping smoking ...
-I don't mean this "system" shit that keeps you sucking, I mean <u>stop</u> .. I was exactly like you are .. I used to wake in the night - heart going so hard I coulda made love with my left tit .. If I can stop, <u>you</u> can ..
-How'd you do it, old man?
-Someone bet me a dollar ..
-What do you mean?
-Worrying - clicking - picking - You may as well be back in Los Angeles.
-Why don't you dump it? Mail it off. Give the fucking F.B.I. a present?
-Why don't you dump the "Fat Lady?"
-Because I dislike her too much ..
-O.K. and I'm not in love with this fukker? That's how I feel about him.
-Pig Woman agreed to take a test.
-Where is everyone?
-This looks promising .. I think this one could be it?
-Thank Christ we got a witness.
-Let me just keep going a while. She might remember something?
-Had a seeing Eye Dog since she was eighteen .. didn't I tell you those dogs meant something ..
-No, you didn't.
-Alright, I didn't, but I nearly did, and if I had I'd have been right .. I knew there was some- thing about that Labrador, that dog was too good to be dead .. We gotta get back up that dump ..
-No way .. not me, Mister. I'm not going up there again. Might find someone's prick in a hot-dog roll.
-We're going.
-Maybe not? I'm feeling lucky ..
-So am I. But where's my money?
-Don't start again. If you win a bet, you can't keep winning it ..
-Pay me, and I shut up.
-I haven't got it.
-Then give me that Zippo.
-Why?
-I need some security. I don't trust you anymore.
-I had one <u>puff</u> on a <u>pipe</u>.
-What do you want it for?
-What are you doing, Ross? I've had that 15 years! ..
-It's not your friend. It keeps you sucking. Remem- ber the old Bum's lungs?
-I remember the old bastard's liver! I don't believe you did that. I had a great sent- imental attachment to that.
-Six girls over a period of 18 months, and give or take a head or two, the M.O.'s exactly the same. Dark hair. No hands. All shot with a high velocity twen- ty-two in the back of the head.
-How come the F.B.I. don't put anya this together? They work- ed over "Jennifer" for months?
-They possibly did - but they nev- er had a head, so they never had a bullet - and they never got an I.D. - not on any of em - never bust a homicide unless you know who your victim is - we're the first to get a positive identity.
-Identity of whom? You got a girl, doesn't even have a driver's lic- ense? .. She's untraceable, John .. You need fifty detectives on this.
-That's what I'm here for. I want you to come and see Citrine with me? He's not gonna here it from me but I know he'd listen to you.
-Listen to me saying what?
-I wanna take that fucking Blind In- stitute to pieces .. Every address book, every phone call, everyone in and outta there in the last 5 years ..
-For a <u>dead</u> <u>dog</u>?
-That isn't what you said before.
-You believe me, don't you?
-Did he shut you down?
-All but .. How <u>you</u> doing?
-I dunno, I daren't go in there - just about get her wired up, and the fucking mayor walks in - mad as hell - what are we doing fuck- ing with his staff? We should be out chasing major violators ..
-Did I say he did?
-You looked like you did?
-No, I think you'll find I looked like he could have? By accident even? He's up here spraying the scenery all day.
-Why's she blind, Bro?
-God, it pisses me off, Ross.
-Stop it.
-I never knew about the sailor the- ory, Ross. He might have that one little thing I need in his files?
-You gotta stop calling Los Angeles .. You're dragging L.A. around with you like an addiction. Look at the shit you're putting yourself through? For what? For <u>nothing</u>, I know it, I been there. Remember me? Up to my asshole in anger, living off the vitamins in cigarettes? If there's a body under the snow, <u>fuck</u> <u>it</u>. Let somebody else worry about it. You
-Just makes to so God damned mad ..
-She wasn't lying about the van.
-Alright, she wasn't lying about the van. But it could have been <u>any</u> van? Any little foreign diesel? .. She's <u>blind</u>, Bro .. It's sad .. She's pro- bably lonely, and you're a nice guy to have around .. But you're getting far too far into the element, Brother ..
-Sure.
-You don't need me to tell you what hap- pens when you get emotionally involved?
-Nothing you gotta say do I wanna hear right now. So save yourself saying it.
-I'm not in here to apologize, John. I told you what was gonna happen & it's happened? "Good-bye, Princess," & the same night she gets attacked? That's a tough one to swallow, Bro?
-I'm already familiar with Taylor's opinion.
-You don't really believe this?
-Well .. I didn't know that ..
-That's a very stupid question, Ross.
-I'm asking it.
-Ease off, John ..
-<u>I'm sick of this toy town shit</u>.
-Everything you say sounds reason- able. But there's also a reason- able explanation for the opposite.
-I dunno what I can do to help you?
-I dunno what I'd do with your help. I've gotta take her out of there ..
-What about Citrine?
-Can't thank you enough, Ross ..
-Yeah .. I guess she's in the kit- chen .. We got a so-called prof- essional cook out there having a nervous breakdown over a turkey ..
-You got a quiet phone somewhere?
-Hey, John, don't start getting antsy over this tonight. It may well have been the local cops?
-Jesus. What are you doin?
-What exactly you doing, John?
-I'm going up to the institute.
-Now?
-Listen, you don't havta come?
-Where's your watch?
-I guess by the bed.
-Bull shit .. I'm in my prime ..
-Bits.
-Policemen's bodies age at diff- erent rates. Look at me. Gut in its fifties. Balls in their six- ties. And feet in their eighties ..
-What if we need a back up?
-Alright. I'll start at the top, and work down.
-You ain't going in alone?
-Why did he ask if it was frozen?
-What is that?
-How do you know her hair's black?
-Hair on her hand. Plus Jen- nifer had raven black hair.
-Yes, Sir, I think they maybe. I think "Jennifer," and this lady got hit by the same guy?
-I got four points of posit- ive comparison on the cut ..
-Probably making him feel a bit antsy seein it back on the wall. He worked a lotta time on this.
-I thought it was Taylor's case?
-What do you want me to do, Chief?
-You're pushing this too hard. It's like you <u>want</u> me to say <u>stop</u>? You must know that's the way this is going, John? There's other work to do, why don't ya ease off a little?
-Coz this is a major & we're closer to this bastard than anyone's ever been.
-Then <u>where's the body</u>? .. Where's the body, and <u>why's he hidden it</u>?
-He <u>hasn't</u> hidden it. He never made a hit this far north before, and he never read a weather forecast .. She's probably fifteen feet from the highway, three feet under snow.
-Have you got a match on the bullet?
-No.
-Have you got a print from the hand?
-No, Sir.
-It could be anyone's hand. Illeg- ally disposed of hospital debris ..
-It's <u>her</u> hand. <u>Her</u> scars. <u>Her</u> dog. Her dog's shot. And she's missing.
-She's <u>not</u> "missing." Did she shout? Did she scream? Did he coerce her? <u>No</u>. She left of her own free will .. And if she gets on a plane and goes to Peru with the prick, she's still not missing. You got no case, John.
-If you're not gonna hear me, Chief ..
-I <u>have</u> heard you. You just don't like hearing <u>me</u>. You got this whole damned thing outta proportion. I don't know what you gotten used to in Los Angeles, but I don't believe there's a Police Chief, <u>in this country</u>, would put a task force together for a body part ..
-We have a multiple homicide, Sir ..
-I'm shutting you down on this "blind thing," John.
-Is that my punishment for embarrassing Mr Heineman?
-Don't underestimate me .. the Mayor's pissed - but that's nothing to do with this - sit down - How many times have you been up at that institute?
-Three or four.
-I'm talking, outside the girl?
-Once.
-Got a letter from this Goodridge guy? Says, you're upsetting his students?
-That's bullshit,
-I never asked if he could "see." I just asked one or two of the stud- ents if they remembered anything?
-And did they?
-Alright, you got it. And I'll be putting an Observer in with you.
-I want Serato .. Why can't I have Serato?
-I'll sign anything you want. <u>Please</u>. Bring here her .. <u>I want Helena here</u> ..
-You ain't talking to no one, till you calm down.
-Week or two. Musta been on the ker- osene. Stinks like a diesel engine.
-What does that mean, Sergeant?
-Alright, gentlemen, I'm gonna leave you. I got a couple of questions for the paper, Serg- eant? Mind if I swing by later, wring out a tea-bag with you?
-My pleasure .. Who's Popeye?
-Is this normal?
-Did he get you the job?
-I think he would have if he could have - been trying to get me up here long enough - I think he may have bribed the old guy to retire ..
-Did you find the knife, Sergeant?
-No .. But we have a theory ..
-Kid told me he didn't take it?
-Yeah, in and outta Frisco on the big boats .. Every lead we had went right out to sea .. Night, night, Freddy T .. John ..
-.. feel like I'm getting close to this guy .. and all the time, feel like I'm sharpening a pencil with a broken load .. I'm sorry, King J ..
-What are you looking for?
-Vehicle references.
-His blind friend got "attacked." Angelo went up there, and some- how, it got itself in the paper.
-<u>You</u> put it in there.
-I may have said some- thing. I don't recall.
-Don't lie, Taylor. I just had this Blattis guy on the phone asking me for a comment - you gave him the whole damned case!
-So read it! You just hung a target around her neck!
-Bullshit.
-Don't you know nothing about this guy? He <u>reads</u> the newspapers. Col- lects the cuttings. When are they gonna find her? Now he's reading Helena Robertson's name, phrased like she's a fucking witness. You couldn't have done anything more stupid if you'd sat down & tried ..
-Hey, c'mon, country boys, let's all line up and hear the expert.
-You don't know what you done, Taylor.
-I know what a "witness" is.
-He's offerin you a deal? Why don't you take it ..
-I've told you the truth. It isn't me .. I've never call- ed Ross "Freddy" in my life ..
-I've heard you call him Freddy.
-As recent as we have .. What ex- actly is your interest in Amber?
-I'm afraid I can't give you an ans- wer to that, Mr Goodridge. As I ex- plained to your secretary, we're do- ing a lotta looking, but we're not even sure it's her we're lookin for ..
-Then what are you hoping I'm gon- na do? Dissuade, or persuade you?
-I was hopin since we spoke that you might have remembered something that would give us an idea where she is?
-Yes, Sir.
-As she's a member of my staff, may I ask what this is about?
-Well, apparently, she saw Amber the weekend she left, & was briefly in the room with the guy she left with.
-What d'you wanna ask, Mr Ross?
-I'm Mr Berlin. Mr Ross is right here. And Mr Ross is maybe gonna take a few notes, if that's O.K.? O.K. .. I'd like you to tell me in what ever way you want, what you can remember about the time you spent with Amber on the aft- ernoon she left? Take your time, and nothing's too trivial, O.K.
-Well, I think I told you on the phone .. I went up to her room to say good-bye, and we just sat on the bed and chatted a while, while her friend was coming in and out collecting her things ..
-You must have some idea about him.
-When we spoke on the phone, did you know I was blonde?
-No.
-John? .. You never said that on the phone? .. What makes you think his name was John?
-The elevator wasn't working?
-Can I see your hands?
-Is there anything else you can tell me? Anything about him or her? Doesn't matter how small?
-No. Except he smoked. Like you.
-Me?
-D'you have a dog? Seeing Eye Dog?
-No.
-Lotta scratch-marks on your door?
-Did Amber have a dog?
-Yes.
-What color was it?
-Have you been here long?
-No, just a minute or two .. I knocked on your door - no one home, so I followed the music ..
-I'm sorry. I'll get my things.
-I suppose I'm the worst witness you've ever had?
-I gotta admit, you're one of them. Just wish I knew what you meant by a "hollow car?"
-If I came to the diner with you, would you bring me back?
-I'm sorry, someone slammed the door on me. I couldn't get out.
-What are you reading?
-Hamlet. Have you read it?
-No.
-Are you wearing a uniform?
-No.
-Oh.
-Well, I'm glad we got the conver- sational side of lunch over with.
-I'm sorry .. I don't like sitting in the middle of a restaurant .. I feel like everyone's looking at me ..
-Are you married?
-Was. But I don't like to talk about it.
-You just asked me to ask you questions.
-I know, but you pick on the one time in my life I like not to remember. I was in the bad lands. Really not well. It's something that happens to a lota cops. We don't wanna talk about that.
-"Thoughts that lie too deep for tears."
-Yeah, that'll do .. Is that "Hamlet?"
-I don't know, I haven't read much. I don't think poetry's my kinda thing?
-Do you pray?
-Pray?
-You said, you were in the bad lands?
-Sorry?
-She runs a kind of hair dress- ing and you know, beauty salon ..
-Have you known her long?
-I know what you're like ..
-How d'you know what I'm like?
-Ross told me.
-Really? What did he say?
-He said you're quite chubby. And you have a nervous tick.
-He said that? What else did he say?
-Just your age.
-Which is what?
-I have to talk to you, Helena.
-I know.
-You know? How do you know?
-Has he got your aunt's address?
-I don't think so .. He said the police had been calling .. want- ed to ask me some more questions ..
-You're looking worried again, Helena?
-No I'm not.
-You're looking more worried now than when you "decided to stop worrying"?
-Why can't I stay with you?
-It's not possible right now.
-Why?
-She has an aunt, in Vermont. I'll take her there tonight.
-I'm going back to the institute.
-Don't say that. Don't you <u>dare</u> say that .. <u>I believe you</u> ..
-I know you're trying to help me, but you don't understand.
-The man who killed Amber is a psychopath. He was up at the in- stitute to <u>kill you</u> - he don't wanna kill Rose - he was there to <u>kill you</u> - that's the truth - and I didn't wanna tell it to you - but that's the reason I want you to stay at Margie's - coz I can't protect you here ..
-Why does he want to kill me?
-Coz he thinks you're a witness.
-I can't identify him ..
-He don't know that. I didn't.
-He doesn't need my help.
-I know about alcohol, John.
-You do?
-You don't wanna sit here any more, sweetheart ..
-I think they're gonna arrest me.
-I don't want them to arrest you.
-What are you doing, Travis?
-I been told to take your car in, Sir.
-Why?
-You got a warrant for this?
-Yes, Sir.
-Who sought the warrant?
-Interview over, Blattis ...
-.. we got a body part. We don't know what it is - probably some kind of hospital debris - we're gonna try and check it out. O.K. Now you know as much as we do ..
-Grateful for your candor, Sir.
-Then do me a favor, and keep this outta the newspaper - that dump serves a dozen different communities, we don't even know if it's ours? Till we do I don't want no one worrying about ..
-Wasn't frozen, was it, Sergeant?
-A blind girl can just walk out of here, and you don't know who with?
-You find something curious in that?
-Yeah, I guess I do.
-Then let me put your mind at ease .. Firstly, Amber isn't "blind" - she has some useful vision - and second, this isn't a prison, it's a college of higher education - a severe vis- ual disability doesn't mean my stud- ents don't value their independence as much as anybody else - and Amber was a very independent young woman - She decided
-And you got <u>no</u> <u>idea</u> with who?
-When did John divorce?
-Two or three years ago.
-What was she like?
-Suzanne? Very pretty. She was a semi- professional model. But a policeman's wife she wasn't. So one day, she just packed it and left. And his whole life went straight down the nearest toilet.
-What does that mean?
-You think he still loves her?
-I haven't worn heels since I was 16. I don't think I could walk in these?
-You think John would like it?
-How you doing on those shoes?
-Is that Margie?
-I'm not giving him <u>Pizza</u>. I haven't seem him for a year? I'm gonna cook him a dinner.
-Bobby's out .. What's the hurry?
-Friday night at City Hall. Got a great chance to frighten the fat.
-So tonight she confesses?
-No it isn't .. It's Californian ..
-Such a shame .. She's a really sweet kid ..
-He's happy, darlin ..
-Except for the hair color, she looks just like Suzanne?
-You want something, darling?
-She married some English prick.
-He's not that bad of a guy ..?
-Hey, we're not talking "talk" tonight.
-Just easy on the words you're putting in my face, Sergeant ..
-You think you're the only guy ever worked a homicide? I was a big-city cop too. And I bust- ed the clock on fucken Jennifer. I know more about this man than you'll over know - and that's how I know it ain't him - you- 're investigating a soap-opera ..
-Alright, guys. We stop this <u>now</u>.
-Shut up, King Jay ..
-You can drive down there, Sir ..
-On the infill. The guy from L.A.'s just gone down there ..
-He has? .. What's he doing here?
-Damn A, it's O.K. With a bit of luck I'm goin home. What we got?
-Where do you fit in, Trimble?
-I wonder what would make him do a thing like that?
-Don't annoy me, Travis.
-I think I found some- thing horrible, Sir
-Whatta you mean, "horrible?"
-The coroner wants to know if we can release the derelict?
-Don't ever stop fucking me!
-Sooner... or later... I'll have to stop.
-You know. I don't think we need to do the thing where we tell each other everything!
-Oh -- don't forget tomorrow we have dinner with Wade Cooksey.
-Who told you?
-The power move is to go unannounced. Black suit, right?
-And the egyptian cotton shirt that works with or without the jacket. Tell me again, how was it left with Cush?
-"Dad says we gwan sleep on it.
-Ugh!
-Good. They're all heatseekers! All of them, everybody. You keep one superstar and they'll all follow. There's no real loyalty, and the first person who told me that, Jerry Maguire, was you.
-I think I was trying to sleep with you at the time.
-Well, it worked, and I will not let you fail. You are Jerry Ma- fuckin-guire.
-That's right.
-King of the Housecalls! Master of the Living Room!
-Okay, this is working.
-Who said anything about "loser?" Where do you get this word "loser?"
-Now.
-I know. Sorry I threw a scare into our lives there --
-Don't worry about it -- I never told you what I thought of that memo either --
-Well, no you didn't --
-You lost your head, it happens. I'm so fuckin jazzed! Listen. I'm going to have to fly to Chicago tomorrow, how 'bout if we meet in the Dallas airport and we all fly into New York together for the draft?
-This can't be happening to me.
-I just heard.
-What do I do? How do I spin this?
-It's all about you, isn't it? Soothe me, save me, love me --
-Could you just stop moving?
-I have to finish my job --
-Jerry. You and I are salespeople. We sell --
-Look, I don't want a --
-It's not "love me." It's not "trust my handshake." It's make the sale. Get it signed. There shouldn't be "confusion" about that.
-Tell you what -- I'd prefer loyalty..
-What was our deal when we first got together? Brutal truth, remember?
-Don't say it. We're both ragged out right now.
-Listen to me!
-No.
-Didn't hear it.
-There is something missing here.
-You've never been alone and you can't be alone --
-No one has ever dumped me.
-I did the 23 hour nose-route to the top of El Capitan in 6 hours! I can make this work.
-Oh Jerry.
-Wait. Did I just say "hon" to him?
-Don't let him stay up too late.
-Hey, man, tonight I'm going to teach Ray about jazz.
-He's asleep, right?
-Yeah, how'd it go with Sportboy?
-Let me think about that. Want something to drink?
-I see what you're saying.
-Cush, Matt -- we have a decision to make.
-"It's okay to eat fish, 'cause they Don't have any feelings...
-Okay. San Diego just came in with a last-minute scenario. It's big.
-Reporters, Jerry. They been callin' all night.
-Just be friendly and say "no comment."
-You hear those courtesy laughs, Jerry? There is a seething wrongness at the edges of this party.
-Oh come on --
-This is fuckin Michael Jordan, man! They should be screaming.
-... this is... uh... too funny...
-Look, Rod, just get on the camel!
-Airight. Enough. I'm pulling him out of this. This isn't what I had in mind anyway.
-No no...
-Can I help?
-Oh. Hi. I work in your office. I was on the junket to the conference. I'm --
-I know who y6u are. You're Dorothy Boyd. You're in... wait... you're in Accounts. You have the middle cubicle toward the back with that poster of Albert Einstein morphed onto Shaquille 0 Neal's body.
-Hmm. Pretty good.
-Now what did you lose?
-Well, thanks.
-Well, take care.
-Oh no.
-No no. I knew.
-Nnnnn. I just killed the surprise.
-I think in this age, optimism like that... it's a revolutionary act.
-You think so?
-Oh tsht. Yes.
-I appreciate that, because some of that stuff... you know, it was two in the morning and...
-Oh no. I'm sure it would just make your day to drive us all the way to Manhattan Beach, taking that left down to little tiny Waterloo street where you have to play chicken with oncoming traffic, and your life flashes before your eyes, but -- hey, I've obviously had too much coffee and all -- here's my sister Laurel to pick us up.
-Wonder what he said.
-So I know this is a bad time, but -- you will have a medical program, right?
-And I guess we didn't talk about money. So, I'll just dive in --
-Give me your number. I'll call tomorrow. I'm just a little. I'm a little insane right now. But it's going to be great.
-But I mean really... wonderfully... great.
-That took guts.
-Honey -- later, okay? Whoop. Wait.
-Hello?
-No, that's fine. What calls came in today?
-... light.
-Dorothy, let me tell you something, we are back. We are so very very back. I re-signed Cush. We're set.
-We are?
-It's all going to work.
-It's all going to work. We're going to save the world.
-Well, I'm happy for you.
-Happy for us... okay. Here's the number. 404-453-2222.
-Thanks.
-Okay, have we gone over everything? Back on Tuesday, right?
-Hey you.
-Thanks for inviting me over. Where's the little guy?
-He's asleep. Watch out for that lamp.
-Oh my God.
-Too bad.
-Better now than later. We'll still be friends. I'm dying here.
-Jesus, it's a real gash, isn't it?
-Sorry. Uh, let me see, have a seat. I'll get you some aloe vera for that cut too.
-Do you have something to drink?
-Beer okay?
-Drinks. Food. Plus, I called you a cab.
-Don't worry about me. I can get jobs --
-We will be fine!
--- especially one like this.
-Truth?
-Me too.
-I'm working with you because of that memo...
-Well.
-Sorry about this hand. You know that feeling -- you're not completely embarrassed yet, but you glimpe tomorrow's embarrassment?
-Don't worry about it, boss.
-Oh shit. You said "boss."
-Yeah, I did.
-Now I feel like Clarence Thomas.
-No. No don't feel like Clarence Thomas.
-No, I do. I feel like Clarence Thomas. I'm like... harrassing you... right now.
-Well, good evening.
-Dennis Wilburn called from Arizona to say he's faxing in the new Tidwell offer on Thursday morning, and you'll be happy.
-Happy. He said "happy?"
-Good. Good. Glad is good.
-I sunk most of what I had into this condo, which devalued, and --
-You don't have to explain.
-Look, the other night, I want to apologize.
-Yeah, what happened there.
-We're two people working together and we can't have an atmosphere.
-I'm relieved you said that.
-I mean, the other night was... I felt like you understood something I could barely even say, something way down deep in the murk -- -- but we have a company here to think about. I won't ever take advantage of you in that way again.
-Oh good.
-You walked out on a job for me, and I won't ruin that.
-Wow. That's more than a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie.
-Yeah -- guess I got revved up at the idea of an evening among adults -- no offense buster. You meet Chad the nanny?
-We'll see you soon, honey. Bye.
-It was laziness1 my whole breakup with Avery. You know that thing you say, "it's nobody's fault." It's one of the great lies, right? Someone is always to blame -- if you go for it, go for it like you do a job, work at it --
-Maybe you should call her.
-Yeah. It wasn't like my marriage to Roger was so great, even before -- Jerry?
-What?
-Well -- this would be goodnight.
-I think you should not come in, or come in depending on how you feel.
-Same to you.
-No. I have to go in. I live here.
-Right. I'll come in.
-Okay. Wait here a second. Do we really want to do this?
-Oh God.
-Another time, okay Dorothy?
-Fine, I just --
-Sure you're okay to drive this?
-This rig? Phht. No problem.
-What --
-If I said that, would you stay?
-No no. Don't do that. Don't say that if you don't...
-I was thinking I hope he doesn't get injured. I felt responsible.
-And I really don't know your noises yet.
-Well, when you wonder, ask me.
-Why do you love me?
-It's my fault.
-What --
-It's not fair to you. This whole --
-Tell me -- let me help --
-I took advantage of you and worst of all, I'm not alone. I did this with a kid. I was just on some ride where I thought I was in 1ove enough for both of us. I did this. And at least I can do something about it now.
-Well -- I'm not the guy who's going to run. I stick.
-I don't need you to "stick."
-You want...
-I don't know --
-Why fucking not! I deserve it.
-Dorothy -- what if I'm just not built that way?
-What if it's true? "Great at friendship bad at intimacy." I mean, come on. It's the theme of my bachelor film --
-I know. I watched it. I sort of know it by heart.
-I don't like to give up.
-Oh please. My need to make the best of things, and your need to be what, "responsible"... if one of us doesn't say something now we might lose ten years being polite about it. Why don't we call this next road trip what it is. A nice long break.
-There's no question you'll be friends. Of course you'll be friends.
-So this break... is a break-up.
-This used to be my specialty. I was good in a living room. Send me in there, I'll do it alone. And now I just... I don't know... but on what was supposed to be the happiest night of my business life, it wasn't complete, wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn't share it with you. I
-What about medical?
-You are a single mother. You have given up the right to be frivolous.
-If you'd read what he wrote, you would have left with him too.
-You know how much those Well Child exams cost --
-Wait. Where is he?
-He's coming over.
-He just lost his best client. He called from the plane. I invited the guy over.
-Dotty -- this is not "guy.". This is a "syndrome." It's called Early Midlife, About-To-Marry, Hanging Onto The-Bottom-Rung Dear- God-Don't-Let-Me-Be-Alone, I'll- Call-My-Newly Long-suffering- Assistant-Without Medical-For- Company Syndrome. And if, knowing all that, you still allow him to come over, more power to you.
-I heard.
-No kidding. I looked over and saw the shadow of two curious shoes in the doorway of the kitchen.
-This guy would go home with a gardening tool right now if it showed interest. Wait. Use the frosted glasses.
-Thank you.
-That's the girl I love.
-But you just gotta hear me out on one thing. You're very responsible with Ray and you know it's not right for a little boy to hear some strange man's voice in the house.
-I've got a 24 hour a day reminder of Roger, for the rest of my life. I have had three lovers in four years, all boring, all achingly self-sufficient all friends of yours I might add, and all of them running a distant second to a warm bath. Look at me, Laurel, look at me. I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world!
-Good.
-Forgot your keys --
-No no. Don't cry at the beginning of the date.
-First you gotta tell me something.
-Because I'm worried that you're putting your faith in this guy who, because of the way things are going, may not have an emotional marble in his head.
-Please, if I start talking --
-Easy, hon, I was just looking for fun details --
-No, Roy. I'm not gonna cry.
--- well, Rod, your agent passed me a note before the show. He says that your deal memo has been signed by the Arizona Cardinals. Four years for ten-point-two million dollars. Playing in the state where you grew up.
-I... I love everybody, man. I love my wife. My kids. Little Tyson. My new baby Kaydee. My brother Tee Pee. I love my friends, my teammates, who am I leaving out?
-Oh yes. Jerry Maguire! My agent! This is a fierce, loving individual, I love this man, he is love, he is about love -- my ambassador of kwan.
-Ten seconds, Rod.
-Matt, I came here because in all honesty your son is just another piece of cattle to SMI. But to me --
-Oh, thank you.
-Told myself -- if he shows up, we'll stick with him.
-I want him to go number one in the draft, and I want him to play.
-Denver is where he should be.
-I'll give it everything.
-What happened to Denver?
-Not right now, Jerry.
-Apparently, Denver wanted to deal with him instead of you.
-Said who? Sugar?
-Hey, I'm learning as I go.
-So you empowered Bob Sugar to deal with Denver behind my back?
-I'm sorry, I --
-Now. Wait. You didn't actually sign with Sugar, did you? Tell me you didn't sign. Because I'm still sort of moved by your "my word is stronger'n oak" thing --
-Alright, we're just getting started on my list of things you need to know. Take notes if you want to.
-Good, 'cause see, I am a valuable commodity. I go across the middle. I see the ball and a dude coming right at me, wanting to kill me, I tell my brain "get killed, catch the ball." That's New York Steak, baby. Rare. And yet, nobody's giving me LOVE. Nobody's giving me PROPS. Nobody. I went to Arizona State, I'm from Arizona, I break
-Now you want Arizona dollars.
--- now to recap, I want to stay in Arizona, I want my new contract, I like you, you're nice to my wife, I will stay with you, that's what I'm doing for you, but here's what you're gonna do for me. You listening?
-Mmm. Hmm.
-It's a very personal, very important thing. It's a family motto. So I want to share it with you. You ready?
-Yes.
-I got it.
-Show. Me. The. Money.
-At last I find you.
-I came all the way here for that? To walk the lobby?
-Yeah. And it might have even worked too.
-You believe they're shooting a Nike ad down there? Did I ever tell you my Nike story?
-I gotta get back to Cushman.
-You're loving me now, aren't ya?
-Good. I was just testing ya. But just you saying that? Makes me love ya.
-Get some sleep. See you tomorrow.
-Sure you don't want to go out and find some karoake? I'm a very good singer, man --
-Call me tomorrow.
-You love me now, don't you?
-Rod --
-You feel bad you tested positive? Quit doing blow! You feel bad about your baby girl? Why did you leave the mother?
-What are you doing with me, Rod?
-Huh?
-See this jacket I'm wearing? You like it? I don't really need it, because I'm CLOAKED IN FAILURE. I lost the number one draft pick the night before the draft. They will teach my story to other agents on "do not do this" day in agent school. Why? Let's recap. Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk, I had
-Well, boo-fucking-hoo.
-The least you could do is nod and act sympathetic --
-No.
-You are not allowed to act this way.
-Man, I got a shelf life of ten years, tops! My next contract's gotta bring me the dollars that'11 last me and mine a very long time. I'm out of this sport in five years. What's my family gonna live on? What you get me. So I don't want to hear about ya shit, your "nya nya nya."
-Another drink please.
-Anybody else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. I said I would. And if I got to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money.
-Did you tell him about the "ten million for four years?"
-Uh, not today, but --
-John Taylor. J.J. Stokes. Andre Rison. I SMOKE all these fools, and yet they're making the big sweet dollars. They're making the money, and I got an agent that ain't even put the number on the table.
-I understand your anxiety.
--- the kwan.
-That's your word?
-Yeah, man, it means love, respect, community... and the dollars too. The package. The kwan.
-I got there from "coin," dude. Coin, coin... kwaaaan.
-Great word. Towel?
-No, I air-dry.
-Is that your porty or mine?
-You're telling me to dance.
-"Love me love me love me... put me on t.v." That's the iconography of rascism, man!
-Do your job, man, don't tell me to dance.
-What's wrong.
-Forget it. Forget it.
-I'm out here for you! You don't know what it's like to be me out here for you. It is an up-at-dawn pride-swallowing seige that I will never fully tell you about! Okay?! Help me help you help me help you.
-If you get injured, you get nothing.
-Won't happen. I'm strong in my mind.
-I'll get you some quick work --
-Dude, know your art form. If you put the camera down here, looking up, I look more powerful. There's no need for a camel... you got ME.
-Can I ask you a question totally unrelated to your career?
-Oh, we gonna be friends now?
-Oh I know plenty. I was raised by a single mother.
-First, single mothers don't "date." They have been to the circus, you know what I'm saying? They have been to the puppet show and they have seen the strings. You love her?
-How do I know?
-You know when you know. It makes you shivver, it eats at your insides. You know?
-No, I don't know.
-Then you gotta have The Talk.
-But I sure don't like that she's leaving.
-The kid is amazing.
-No. A real man does not shoplift the "pooty" from a single mom.
-I didn't "shoplift the pooty." We were thrown together and -- I mean it's two mutual people who -- Alright, I shoplifted the pooty.
-You never had The Talk, did you?
-No.
-Tidwell moves to a tan in a wheelchair, signs an autograph and moves on. Jerry alongside. The quarterback sucks, man. He's gonna get me killed.
-I'm a little worried --
-We can still take the offer, Rod.
-Well, just stay healthy. I will show you the kwan.
-I'm gonna have the game of my life on Monday Night Football, and show all these motherfuckers.
-Take care, okay? You're my entire client roster.
-Don't I know. Now go home to your wife.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Why are you even here, man? You could have told me all this over the phone.
-I don't know -- how's "dedication" for an answer?
-You don't want to go home, do you?
-Why are you doing this to me, Rod?
-I'm asking you a question --
-No, you're --
-Not everyone has what you have.
-Then why'd you get married? I'm asking you as a friend.
-I'm sorry I asked.
-No, I'm going to answer you. You want an answer? I'll give it to you. Loyalty. She was loyal. Everything grew from there.
-That's an answer.
-Damn right.
-For loyalty, you buy a dog. For love, you get married.
-Look. I'm happy to entertain you, as always, but I have a question for you. Are we really "friends?"
-Why not --
-Well, friends can tell each other anything, right? If we have our "friends" hats on --
-I think so.
-I don't want to be friends anymore.
-Fine.
-Beautiful.
-We still having dinner in L.A.?
-Jerry! You made it --
-Thanks for coming.
-I have to ask.
-What --
-You're with the sports people on the plane, right?
-Jerry Maguire. SMI.
-Bobbi Fallon. BPI. I'm producing the Coke commercials for the playoffs.
-And I can't say his name without laughing I want to eat him up. I want to say goodbye to every bad thought I ever had about relationships. I mean, I crave this guy... and yet... why... why did I have that affair this weekend? Does that mean I'm not in love with my boyfriend?
-I think you'll know when you see him at the gate.
-I uh... don't think we're quite at your pitch yet.
-Tell me, and then you can sleep.
-Oh, tell the story.
---so our first date, she told me about her favorite place in the world, the seven pools of Hana on the island of Maui...
-Gorgeous.
-A year-and-a-half later, we were both in Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. Now I've always hit a wall at 18 months. Every serious girlfriend lasts 18 months. It's like --ka- boom. The curse of 18 months.
-That's when you need to cement, and define define define.
-Exactly. And the world does not need another 35 year-old bachelor. I knew I wanted to propose, so I took her there.
-To the pools?
-To the pools. Now she's Miss Rock Climber, and I'm more the Non-Rock Climber, but we're hiking up through the pools and there's a fine mist in the air, and I have the ring in my pocket, and I'm a little nervous, I'm lagging behind, and she says to me, get this -- "Hurry up, klutz."
-Well, it bothered me somewhat. And I got quiet. And now she's quiet and we're both pouting a little, you know. And I decide I'm not going to propose. The mood is not right. Why be impulsive? Now at this point I know she knows that I was going to propose and didn't. And she knows I know. So the entire sixty mile ride
-How sad --
-Which they do. And we're standing there. All the football guys are in the lobby, watching, there's even an ESPN crew. So I turn to her and sort of grandly say, "Well, this is me, Klutz, asking you, Goddess of Rock Climbing, to marry me." And I took out the ring, and I don't much like big scenes, but she said "yes" right there
-Marcee. How's my favorite player's wife?
-How can I make your life better?
-You gonna get that --
-Marcee, things are changing around here. You and Rod will have my total personal attention.
-Damn right, and you can start by taking Rod's poster and putting it where people can see it!
-I'll go back to them.
-Okay, we don't take this emotionally. We roll with this problem.
-Marcee --
-I'm sorry what I said back there.
-Don't be silly.
-He took a shot. He's unconscious.
-I'm freakin out. Oh God I'm --
-Keep the phone open. I'll call back. Stay calm. He's got some good doctors out there.
-"Stay calm?" I'm freakin...
-Dooler, you know Bob Sugar.
-Cronin's okay for lunch?
-Marcee -- this is one of our agents. This is Bob Sugar, who needs to learn to knock.
-Gimme a second here... Tidwell... Arizona contract... new glass cabinet...
-You okay?
-I'm fine. What's up?
-Pardon me?
-Aw shit...the crowded restaurant... so there's no scene...
-You...
-... dick?
-Give me a little credit for doing this face-to-face! What I went through knowing I was going to do this to my mentor! Can you get past yourself for a second?
-You'll lose.
-You wanted smaller.
-I'm over it. Now I want all my clients and yours too.
-Jerry --
--- and I'll get 'em.
-SMI represents all three quarterbacks on your team, where's their loyalty going to be? You stay with me, I'd fight for YOU alone. You'd be my only client on that team...
-One-two-three, swing.
-Hey, man, you know they have big balloons built into cars?
-No.
-They do, my brother.
-Hi.
-And then my dad died and my mom took me to the zoo and I love the zoo. Do you hate the zoo or do you love the zoo?
-Wait. I want to tell you more about my dad.
-Let's go the zoo.
-Let's go right now. Let's go to the zoo.
-Aw, the fucking thing... I mean, the zoo is closed.
-You said "fuck".
-I won't tell.
-I don't see any.
-Funny.
-What's going on, Jerry?
-Show me the animal, Jerry!
--- I give you my favorite animal in the zoo. Are you ready for the weirdness, the strange perfection and truth of...
-I'm scared. What is it?
-Now go kiss your daddy, quick.
-He's gonna have nothing left for next season. They're letting him kill himself.
-Can you be quiet?
-He should have kept his head tucked down.
-Shut up!!!
-ERRR-IIIC!
-Still, you have survived the dinosaurs before. You saved those kids.
-After what you've seen today, you really think your son could be alive?
-Eric!
-This is how you make dinosaurs?
-Do you think it goes all the way across?
-Oh, my God.
-What is it?
-First off let me say as a dinosaur enthusiasts, Amanda and I have admired your work for years.
-Amanda and I, well, we just love the outdoors. Heck we've been on pretty much any adventure tour they can come up with: Galapagos, K2, the Nile...
-...once-in-a-lifetime.
-Well, I'm no aviation specialist. But I do know it's hell of a lot lower than anyone else.
-Amanda, Honey! Dr. Grant says it's a bad idea!
-What?
-He says it's a bad idea!
-We can't just...
-Her new boyfriend.
-A friend. We were vacationing. Eric wanted to see the island and the dinosaurs, so Ben found a guy who would take them parasailing. They never came back.
-Sorry.
-How much weight have you lost?
-Twenty, twenty-fire pounds. I've been swimming at the Y.
-You hate to swim.
-You look good.
-Stop that. Dr. Grant says this is dangerous territory.
-Well we should split up or something. We can cover twice the area.
-No, Dr. Grant says...
-Dr. Grant says this, Dr. Grant says that...
-Well what's the use of hiring an expert if your not going to listen to him?
-Because "Dr. Grant" isn't looking for Eric. Dr. Grant is looking for the coast.
-Fine...and when the Tricyclatops comes after you, don't come crying to me.
-Oh, don't worry about that.
-What?
-Nothing.
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
-What did you say!
-Young adult.
-That's him. That’s Eric!
-I'm sorry Amanda. I am. And I'm sorry for the things I said about him.
-No, it's...
-I know you liked Ben. I had no right to...
-Eric! Are you here?
-Udesky.
-It's not safe.
-We can't just stop looking. Eric and Dr. Grant are out there somewhere.
-Well what?
-This wouldn't happen if he was with you. I mean, you drive five miles below the speed limit. I totaled three cars in fives years.
-That one time was just the bumper.
-I don't know. I don't have it with me.
-When did you have it last?
-I don't remember
-What?...WHAT!?
-Sweetheart, you're okay. You're okay. You're okay.
-Eric, its okay. You'll be right behind me.
-Paul! Where is he? Can you see him?
-My own kid was right in front of me and I didn't do a damn thing.
-You couldn't have made that jump.
-I should have tried. It should have been me on that beach back there, not Billy.
-How would you have helped Eric? He needs you, Paul. He needs us.
-He could have died.
-We should try fishing again.
-You mean it?
-Either that, or the government will firebomb it back to the Stone Age.
-You see, that's just the thing. Paul and I have special permission to fly low.
-He's with a man named Ben Hildebrand.
-I thought we weren't suppose to yell.
-He's right. A predator wouldn't leave a kill wounded.
-We need to stick to the plan. Head for the coast.
-What about Eric and Dr. Grant?
-Going to the coast was Alan's idea. If he's alive, that’s where he's headed.
-You had the phone the whole time?
-PAUL!
-Where's Dad?
-We have to keep looking for Dad. We have to.
-I know. I know. I want to look for him too.
-Let me tell you a few things about you Dad, okay? He's very very very clever, very very brave, and he loves you ever very much.
-He loves you too.
-That was Isla Nublar. This is Isla Sorna. The second island.
-So Mr. Kirby, tell me, when you climbed K2, did you base camp at 25- or 30,000 feet?
-Thirty-thousand, I think. Closer to the top.
-They couldn’t climb up, so they were trying to get us to come down.
-I don’t know.
-I thought you were an expert.
-He's probably has a better chance by the coast as it is. Figures that all the big dinosaurs would live in the center of the island. Right?
-Eric!
-How was your trip? Profitable?
-We'll be broke in four weeks.
-You rented an automated litter box.
-It's a rapid prototyper. I feed in the scan data from the raptor skull, than the computer breaks it into thousands of slices which this thing prints, one layer on top of the other. It's the future of paleontology.
-Absolutely not.
-They're here.
-Even with what I pay you, you could get a better bag.
-No way. This is lucky. Couple years ago some buddies and I went hang gliding off these cliffs in New Zealand. Updraft sent me right into the side. BOOM!
-That does sound lucky.
-It was this strap alone that saved my life. Got caught on a rock as I was falling.
-Listen Alan, I really appreciate you bringing me along.
-I'm so use to seeing bones. It's weird to see skin.
-Is it a rex?
-How would you classify it?
-Obviously a superpredator. Suchimimus. that snout.
-They never got that big.
-Baryonyx?
-Not with that sail. Spinosaurus Aegypticus.
-I don't remember that on InGen's list.
-It looks intact.
-We could co-write a paper.
-ALAN!
-We need to keep moving.
-Alan, I want to tell you that I'm so sorry about the...
-You have to believe me. I did it with the best intentions.
-I CAN GET HIM!
-NO!
-Hmm?
-He used to know me.
-So, Mark's working at the State Department now.
-Anything good?
-Raptors, mostly.
-You remember the sounds they made?
-I try not to.
-We've done cranial scans, and raptors actually had a quite sophisticated resonating chamber. I have a theory that their ability to vocalize is the key to their social intelligence. The way they can work together as a team.
-You think they could talk to each other?
-Good luck with the fund raising.
-It was never easy, but before Jurassic Park, you could find money. Somewhere. Now fossils are out. Everyone wants to see a real live dinosaur.
-Times change Alan. But you're the still the best. I mean that.
-I'd better get going.
-Let me know if I can help, Alan. You’re bad about asking for help, but please ask me. Anything, anytime.
-Okay. Goodbye, Ellie.
-When I met you, I thought that one day millions of years ago, all the dinosaurs became extinct. Wiped out. But you told me otherwise. When conditions changed, dinosaurs changed. They became other things. They evolved.
-A well-accepted theory.
-Eric, your parents are both here.
-In Costa Rica?
-They'll never make it. I mean, they can't manage when the cable goes out.
-You're Alan Grant, aren't you? I read both of your books.
-Which one do you prefer?
-The first one. Before you where on the island. You liked dinosaurs back then.
-When InGen cleared out, they left a lot of stuff behind.
-Found this, but the battery's dead.
-Is that all it's been? I thought it was longer.
-Did you read Malcolm's book?
-Yeah.
-What did you think?
-Know what this is?
-A raptor claw. I use to have one. A fossil.
-How much of this island have you explored?
-I stayed pretty close to the compound, Figured if anyone came to look for me, that's where they'd start.
-We need to head for the coast.
-Are you sure?
-Why?
-We climb down to the barge and follow the river out to the ocean. With any luck, the Costa Rican coast guard will pick us up.
-Do you have any kids?
-I have a theory that there's two kinds of boys. Those who want to be astronomers and those who want to be astronauts.
-I want to be an astronaut.
-See, I was the opposite. I never understood why anyone would want to go into space. It's so dangerous. You do one thing wrong and you're dead. The astronomer -- or the paleontologist -- get to study these amazing things from a place of complete safety. And truthfully, everything you really need to learn, you can learn it from the ground.
-But then you never get to go in space.
-Bonitas.
-The lady you called, how do you know she can help us?
-It's strikes me now I never told her that.
-You should.
-Eric, do you know what happened to the boat? that brought you here? Why did it crash?
-No. I couldn't see.
-We're safe!
-What do you think is going to happen with the dinosaurs?
-What can I do for you, Mr. Kirby?
-Well sir, I am a great admirer of yours, and I have an extremely interesting proposition to discuss. Would you let my wife and I take you to have dinner tonight? Our treat.
-You know, I've been traveling and I'm very tired. Maybe some other time.
-Hmmm.
-That's a very nice offer, Mr. Kirby, but I'm afraid I'm much to busy. If you like I can refer you to a number of highly qualified...
-No, no, see Dr. Grant, you're the best. You've seen these animals in the flesh. No one else has come close to you.
-That's hard to believe.
-Dr. Grant if you'd just sit tight, we'll explain this all in a jiffy.
-What the hell is going on? What are they doing?
-Establishing a perimeter. Making it safe. These guys are really good. One of them was a Green...
-We needed somebody who knew the lay of the land. Somebody who'd been to this island before.
-I have never been on this island!
-No, I'm sorry, but no. We'll savage what we can from the plane. Then we head for the coast. There may be a boat left, something to get us off this island.
-Dr. Grant, we're not leaving without our son.
-There is no Kirby Enterprises, is there?
-Well that's good.
-Amanda!
-Billy!
-Whatever you do, don't call the U.S. Embassy. They won't do a God Damn thing.
-Well, we don't exactly have a Costa Rican phone book here, so it will have to be somebody we know in the states. Someone we can absolutely count on to send help.
-How did you know?
-That cheap aftershave I send you every Christmas, you actually wear it. I'm touched. Sit down, sit down, what brings you to Mombassa?
-You. Tell me, Roland, when was the last time you answered your phone?
-I got a call from a gentleman who's going to Costa Rica, or thereabouts. If he's to be believed, it's a most, uh, unique expedition. And very well-funded.
-But alone? We always had great success together, you and I.
-Just a little bit too much, I think.
-How do you mean?
-Sorry. We were saying?
-You broke that idiot's jaw for no reason other than your boredom. Tell the truth, Roland. Aren't you even interested in knowing this expedition's quarry?
-It matches the pictures.
-Make a blind here? Wait for the buck to return?
-You hear something?
-Any damage?
-Minimal.
-"Minimal" is too much. It has to be light, it has to be strong --
-Light and strong, light and strong, sure, why not, it's only impossible. God save me from academics.
-You are an academic.
-Former academic. Now I actually make things. I don't just talk.
-You think I'm all talk, Eddie?
-It doesn't matter what I think.
-Is there an antidote?
-Why didn't you tell us about these guys, Ian?!
-Resentful.
-I didn't know you -- weren't well.
-It's the lawyers. The lawyers are finally killing me.
-They do have motives. Why did you want to see me? Your message said it was urgent.
-What?
-Well? Didn't it all seem a trifle compact to you?
-What are you talking about?
-The hatchery, in particular? You know my initial yields had to be low, far less than one percent, that's a thousand embryos for every single live birth. Genetic engineering on that scale implies a giant operation, not the spotless little laboratory I showed you.
-I don't believe you.
-Isla Nublar was just a showroom, Ian, something for the tourists, Site B was the factory floor. We built it first, on Isla Sorna, eight-some miles from Nublar.
-No, no, no, no, no, no . . .
-After the accident at the park, a hurricane wiped out our facility on Site B. We had to evacuate and leave the animals to fend for themselves. And they did. For four years I've fought to keep them safe from human meddling, now I want you to go there and document them.
-Are you out of your mind? I still have nightmares, my reputation's a joke, my leg is shot -- you think I need more of that?
-It would be the most extraordinary living fossil record the world has ever seen.
-I've been putting this together for over a year. I have personal suggestions for your entire team, phone numbers, contact people. They won't believe you about what they're going to see, so don't bother trying to convince them. Just use my checkbook to get them there. I'll fund your expedition through my personal accounts, as such money and equipment as you need, but only
-John . . .
-I'm not going, John.
-Oh --
-Do you have chromium tapes? The others fog in high-
-InGen is a genetics corporation, isn't it?
-But he's the head of InGen!
-Are you looking for a problem?
-That was a pair bond! A family group, even, long after that infant was nestbound!
-The empty shells are crushed and trampled. The young stay in the birth environment, that's conclusive!
-Ian, you're not insane! I'm so glad!
-And let's forget about the high hide. We can't do this kind of work up in a tower, we need to be out in the field, as close to the animals as possible.
-I'm not surprised stegosaur lived in a family group, but there's never been anything in the fossil record to prove the carnivores did.
-Why wouldn't they? Look at hyenas, jackals, nearly all species of predator birds --
-That doesn't say a thing about T-rex, they could have been rogues. Robert Burke certainly thinks they were.
-Hi, Dad.
-Okay, Karen is expecting you in half an hour. You only have to stay with her one night, she'll put you on a bus in the morning and your mother will be at the station when you get there.
-I don't even know this woman.
-Well, I do, and she's fantastic. She'll take you to the museum, maybe to a movie if you play your cards right. You're going to have a fantastic time.
-Stop saying fantastic. Where are you going?
-I can't tell you. But I'll be back within a week.
-My vacation is over in a week.
-I'll make it up to you this summer. I promise.
-I'm your daughter all the time, you know. Not just when it's convenient.
-Very hurtful. Your mother tell you to say that?
-Is that kid still bothering you?
-Which one?
-You know, at the bus stop. With the hair?
-That was about a year ago.
-Well, is he?
-No. Richard talked to his parents.
-I could come with you.
-Out of the question. You'd miss the gymnastics trials. You've been training for that for a year.
-I don't care about the trials, I want to be with you. I could be your research assistant, like I was in Austin.
-This is nothing like Austin. Forget about it.
-How could you possibly?
-"InGen." What's InGen?
-Where does it say that?
-What are you guys gonna do?
-Are you all right?! Anything broken?
-I'm fine, I'm fine, I was scared, I thought you, are you okay?!
-Dad!
-Cancel that, Dieter.
-Carnivores hunt near stream beds. Do you want to set up base camp or an all-you-can-eat people bar?
-Peter, if you want me to run your little camping trip, there are two conditions. First -- I'm in charge, and when I'm not around, Dieter is. Your job is to sign the checks, tell us we're doing a good job, and open your case of scotch when we have a good day. Second condition -- my fee. You can keep it. All I
-Okay.
-Where do you think you're going?!
-What kind of gun is that?
-My father's .600 Nitro Express. Made in 1904. Karimojo Bell gave it to him after he took down his last elephant. 8700 foot pound striking force.
-How close do you have to be?
-Forty yards. Less, maybe. I assume it'll take a slug in the brain case to bring him down.
-You rally think this'll draw the parent?
-I once saw a bull elephant die charging a jeep. All the jeep had done was startle the bull's calves. I saw a lioness carry wounded prey four and a half miles, all the way back to its den, just to teach its cubs how to finish off a kill.
-Killing lessons? Heartwarming.
-Rex won't be any different. It'll come.
-What?
-Had to. To keep him still for the trip.
-You've broken its leg!
-What in Christ's name is going on?!
-What is?
-What is that?
-Where's the power and radio setup?
-The radio rig is inside. It runs directly from the geothermal generator, so power shouldn't be a problem.
-Do you think the rex might have the infant with it?
-We took to the rock.
-It's... behind... us.
-If I don't move, I can't shoot it.
-So, you two were just, uh, telling old campfire stories, were you?
-Do me a favor. Don't pretend for a second that you and I don't know the truth. You can convince Time magazine and the Skeptical Inquirer of whatever you want, but I was there.
-You signed a non-disclosure agreement before you went to the island that expressly forbade you from discussing anything you saw. You violated that agreement.
-You cost me my livelihood. That on which I relied to support my children.
-If your university felt you were causing it embarrassment by selling wild stories to Hard Copy, I hardly see how I am to--
-I didn't tell anything, I told the truth.
-You version of it.
-There are no versions of the truth! This isn't a corporate maneuver, it's my life.
-We made a generous compensatory offer for your injuries.
-It was a payoff and an insult. InGen never--
-What's he got in there?
-Trespassing, sabotage -- you could go to jail just for being here, did you know that?
-Their what?
-What?
-You know how to work a radio, don't you?
-You're going too?
-She's gutty.
-No way.
-Do you see any family resemblance here?
-Then this is our chance.
-Our chance to do what?
-There' no reason for name calling.
-?!
-It has a broken leg!
-So do it a favor and put it out of its misery!
-What do they want?!
-No.
-Lava?
-No.
-What are they?
-Come on!
-Where's Kelly?
-We can't stay in here!
-We're sure as hell not going back out there"
-This is single-wall construction! It's just a shack!
-It'll hold!
-Head for the roof!
-I have to find Kelly!
-I think she's with Sarah!
-Something's wrong.
-No. I'm quite certain you can't.
-Look, we have two choices. We can hike back down to the lagoon, where we can sit for two days, in the open, next to a heavily used water source while we're waiting for your boat to arrive, or we can head for the village, where we might find some shelter and we can call for help.
-You ever heard of Gambler's Ruin?
-What's that?
-A statistical phenomenon. Says everything in the world goes in streaks. It's real, you see it everywhere -- in weather, in river flooding, in baseball, in blackjack, in stock markets. Once things go bad, they tend to stay bad. Bad things cluster. They go to hell together.
-Just -- flawed. Very deeply flawed.
-Why did you come here?
-So that others would know about this place?
-Why should they?
-Because it exists.
-It'll still exit if they go on not knowing, won't it?
-Yes. And people will live in the absence of truth.
-So the truth is more important to you than your life?
-Somewhere on this island, there exits the greatest predator that ever lived. And the second greatest predator must take him down.
-But why?
-You remember that guy, about twenty years ago, I forget his name, but he climbed Everest without any oxygen, came down almost dead. And they asked him, "why did you go up there to die?" And he said "I didn't. I went up there to live."
-How many rounds did you find for that weapon?
-Four, counting the one in the chamber.
-You gentlemen feel you have to do this now?
-No more smoking. We leave no scent of any kind. No hair tonics, no cologne, seal all our food in plastic bags. We will observe and document, but we will not interact.
-You know you were putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation, but you didn't bother to find out how dangerous before you leapt in. You don't have the faintest idea what's going on on this island!
-You're going home. I'm sending a radio call for the boats. We'll all go down to the lagoon and wait for them.
-Lighten up, Ian, you sound like a high school vice-principal.
-No! We're an independently funded expedition.
-Funded by whom?
-Can you set up?
-It has to be temporary, something that'll break apart and fall off as the animal grows...
-That's impossible, they can't have the sensory equipment to track it all the way here!
-Born free, as free as the wind blows. As free as the grass grows --
-Are you insane?!
-All right. I'm satisfied with the evidence we have right now. I feel vindicated. John Hammond will too. Do you have enough to publish?
-They will come after me. But I can collect some stool samples, for DNA with that, Nick's tapes, and the rest of you to back me up, it should stand when we get back.
-Oh, God.
-What?!
-You know, even if we do get those tapes back, people are going to say it's just another hoax. Ian Malcolm's alien autopsy.
-Maybe. Maybe not.
-Ian. It's guano.
-What?
-These formations. They're dried --
-So what's your story, Nick?
-I was a cameraman for Nightline for six years, been freelance since '91. Do a lot of work for Greenpeace.
-That must be interesting. What drew you there?
-Women. 'Bout eighty percent female in Greenpeace.
-Hey, I wouldn't want to spook the woolly mammoths.
-You think this is all a joke?
-Oh, please. How am I supposed to keep a straight face when -- -- Johnny Cash here tells me I'm going to Skull Island?
-Ian's a very good friend of mine.
-He doesn't need a friend, he needs a shrink.
--- way we could safely --
-The kid scores with cheap sentiment.
-Ruining everything, that's what they're doing. You could choke on the diesel smoke already!
-That little black line?
-Give it more morphine!
-Hold it down, Nick!
-There's, uh -- there's an unwritten rule when a news crew is in a war zone. You stop the van every two miles and decide whether or not to go on. Whether or not you feel lucky. One "no" from anybody in the group and you turn around right there, no question asked, nobody embarrassed. Well? Do we go on? Immediately:
-WHAT ARE YOU-
-Where's Kelly?
-Hey, we came here to observe, you came here to strip-mine the place! It's a looter mentality, all you care about is what you can take.
-If we can't stay in the rex's territory, we have to move tonight.
-We have to send someone to look for him!
-Ask her.
-You've got to be kidding.
-Uh - - Mr. Hammond - -
-That storm center hasn't dissipated or changed course. We're going to have to cut the tour short, I'm afraid. Pick it up again tomorrow where we left off.
-You're sure we have to?
-Ladies and gentlemen, last shuttle to the dock leaves in approximately five minutes. Drop what you are doing and leave now.
-I found a way to re-route through the program. I'm turning the cars around in the rest area loop.
-Visitor vehicles are on their way back to the garage.
-So how much for our first tour. Two no-shows and one sick triceratops.
-What?
-The door security systems are shutting down.
-Woah, woah, woah, what the hell, what the hell?
-What now?
-Fences are failing, all over the park! A few minor systems, he said!
-Find Nedry! Check the vending machines!
-Phones are out too.
-We're talking, my dear, about a calculated risk, which is the only option left to us. We will never find the command NEDRY used. He covered his tracks far too well, and I think it's obvious he's not coming back. So shutting down the system - -
-I will not do it. You'll have to get somebody else, because I will not.
-- - shutting down the system is the only way to guarantee wiping out everything he did. If I understand correctly, all the system will come back on their original start-up modes correct?
-Are we getting anywhere with these procedures of yours? I mean, what's hanging us up?
-I ran a key check on every stroke Nedry entered today. It's all pretty standard stuff, until this one - -
-How many lines of code are there?
-Uh - - about two million.
-No, no, no, that's crazy, you're out of your mind, he's absolutely out of his mind - -
-But would we get the phones back?
-The lysine contingency - it's intended to prevent the spread of the animals is case they ever got off the island, but we could use it now. Dr. Wu inserted a gene that makes a single faulty enzyme in protein metabolism. Animals can't manufacture the amino acid lysine. Unless they're continually supplied with lysine by us, they'll go into a coma and die.
-How would we cut off the lysine?
-How long will this take?
-You shouldn't use my name.
-Oh, I'll get 'em all.
-Remember - - viable embryos. They're no use to us if they don't survive.
-What? No menthol?
-Mr Nedry, Mr Nedry. The embryos have to be back here in San Jose by then.
-That's up to your guy on the boat. Seven o'clock tomorrow night, at the east dock. Make sure he got it right.
-I was wondering, how are you planning to beat the security?
-Paleo-DNA? From what source? Where do you get 100 million year old dinosaur blood?!
-Please - - let's hear something from the others. Dr. Grant? I am sorry - - Dr. Sattler?
-Alan? Where are we going? You see something?
-Yours was fully illustrated, honey.
-Doctors, if you please - - I have to insist we get moving.
-Imbalance, disorientation, labored breathing. Seems to happen about every six weeks or so.
-Yes, mitotic, pupils should be constricted.
-These are dilated. Take a look.
-They are? I'll be damned.
-Yes. We know they're toxic, but the animals don't eat them.
-Are you sure?
-Pretty sure.
-There's only one way to be positive. I need to see some droppings. I have to see the dinosaur's droppings.
-Sure. I've got a gas powered jeep. I can drop her at the visitor's center before I make the boat with the others.
-Did I say jerk?
-I have samples all over the kitchen.
-There you are. Out you come.
-Oh my God.
-Fascinating animals, fascinating.
-Oh my God.
-Alan, these aren't bones anymore.
-Malcolm's okay for now. I gave him a shot of morphine.
-Carousel.
-But with this place, I - - I wanted to give them something real, something that wasn't an illusion, something they could see and touch. An aim devoid of merit.
-But you can't think through this one. You have to feel it.
-You're absolutely right. Yes, you're right. Hiring Nedry was a mistake, that's obvious. We're over- dependent on automation, I can see that now. But that's all correctable for the next time around.
-Once we have control again we - -
-This is just a delay, that's all this is. All major theme parks have had delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked, nothing.
-But you know, I should really be the one going .
-Why?
-Well, because you're a - - I'm a - -
-Mr. Arnold? He's not answering me. Okay I'm on the grating.
-Good! Keep going, now. The cable will terminate in a big, gray box.
-Four complete skeletons. . . . such a small area. . . the same time horizon - -
-They died together?
-The taphonomy sure looks that way.
-A drought. The lake was shrinking - -
-Postmortem contraction of the posterior neck ligaments. Velociraptor?
-You know, if you really wanted to scare the kid you could've just pulled a gun on him.
-Yeah, I know, you know...kids. You want to have one of those?
-Well, not one of those, well yeah, a possibly one at some point could be a good thing. What's so wrong with kids?
-Oh, Ellie, look. They're noisy, they're messy, they're sticky, they're expensive.
-Cheap, cheap, cheap.
-They smell.
-Oh my god, they do not! They don't smell.
-They do smell. Some of them smell.. babies smell.
-Alright, the one on the airplane had an accident, but usually babies don't smell.
-They know very little about the Jurassic Period they know less about the Cretaceous.
-The what?
-The Cretaceous.
-Anything else, you old fossil?
-Yeah, plenty. Some of them can't walk!
-Okay, who's the jerk?
-Uh, this is our paleobotanist, Dr Ellie.....
-And what are those?
-Why would they care what we think?
-The movement!
-Ellie, we can tear up the rule book on cold-bloodedness. It doesn't apply, they're totally wrong! This is a warm-blooded creature. They're totally wrong.
-You've got a T-rex!? He's got a T-rex! A T-rex! He said he's- -
-Ellie, they're absolutely - - they're moving in herds. They do move in herds!
-We were right!
-So what are you thinking?
-Wait a minute! How do you interrupt the cellular mitosis?!?
-Oh, shit.
-Oh Ellie. It's so beautiful. It's the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
-Ellie, I've been thinking there's something about the periodicity doesn't had up.
-Constantly sick.
-Not just every six weeks.
-Elm that's it, it explains the periodicity, the - -
-- - the undigested state of the berries because it's - -
-- - like birds - -
-- - like birds. What happen is, they swallow the stones and hold them in a muscular sack in their stomachs - -
-- - a gizzard - -
-- - which is called a gizzard, and it helps them mash their food, but what happens after a while - -
-- - what happens is that after a while, the stones get smooth, every six weeks, so the animal regurgitates them - -
-- - barfs them up - -
-- - and swallows fresh ones.
-Are you sure?
-It's just the two raptors, right? You're sure the third one's contained?
-Ellie - - get back and boot up the door locks!
-You can't hold it by yourself!
-Ellie, get the gun! Try to reach the gun!
-They show extreme intelligence, even problem solving. Especially the big one. We bred eight originally, but when she came in, she took over the pride and killed all but two of the others. That one - -when she looks at you, you can see she's thinking working things out. She's the reason we have to feed 'em like this. She had them all attacking
-The fences are electrified, right?
-Dr. Sattler, I've seen a lot of animal attacks. People just disappear. No blood, no trace. That's the way it happens.
-Ellie, com one!!
-Dr. Grant!
-Do you see anything?
-Alan?!
-What about the lysine contingency? We could put that into effect!
-I can't wait anymore. Something went wrong. I'm going to go get the power back on.
-I'm going with you.
-Come on, let's go.
-Okay, I'm on channel two.
-Oh my God. Aw, God.
-C'mon on, this way.
-No. We can't.
-Why not?
-It's all right.
-No.
-That's right. Will break through.
-I get ah - -
-I know, it's very exciting.
-And scary.
-And scary.
-When people try to control things that it's out of their power - -
-It's anti-nature.
-God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.
-You see? The tyrannosaur doesn't obey set patterns or park schedules. It's the essence of Chaos.
-I'm still not clear on Chaos.
-Uh - - thumb! The same way.
-It changed. Why? Okay, back over your wrist. Because and here is the principle of tiny variations - - the orientations of the hairs - -
-Alan, listen to this.
-- - on your hand, the amount of blood distending in your vessels, imperfections in the skin - -
-Oh, imperfections?
-Microscopic - - never repeat, and vastly affect the outcome. That's what?
-Unpredictability....
-Alan?
-No one could have predicted Dr. Grant would suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle!
-Dino droppings?
-Can we chance moving him?
-Faster, faster!
-Must go faster, it's getting closer - must go faster!
-Faster! Shit, shit, shit, faster!
-Seven days?! Seven days?! Oh, great. Oh good - - clever.
-Yes?
-- - shut up.
-Hola, Juanito
-What's this I hear at the airportŠ Hammond's not even here?
-He sends his apologies.
-You're telling me that we're facing a $20 million lawsuit from the family of that injured worker and Hammond couldn't even be bothered to see me?
-He had to leave early to be with his daughter. She's getting a divorce.
-Hammond hates inspections. They slow everything down.
-If two experts sign off on the island, the insurance guys'll back off. I already got Ian Malcolm, but they think he's too trendy. They want Alan Grant.
-Grant? You'll never get him out of Montana.
-Why not?
-I can't see.
-What are we looking for?
-Up and down, up and down!
-I can't believe we invited Ian Malcolm.
-Hey! Where did you find those things?
-In a box under my seat.
-Are they heavy?
-Yeah.
-The full fifty mile of perimeter fence are in place?
-And the concrete moats, and the motion sensor tracking systems. Donald, dear boy, do try to relax and enjoy yourself.
-Let's get something straight, John. This is not a weekend excursion, this is a serious investigation of the stability of the island. Your investors, whom I represent, are deeply concerned. Forty-eight hours from now, if they - - - -aren't convinced. I'm not convinced. And I can shut you down John.
-This is overwhelming, John. Are these characters animatronics?
-John, we - - what I'm just saying....
-And we can charge anything we want! Two thousand a day, ten thousand a day - - people will pay it! And then there's the merchandising - -
-Donald, this park was not built to carter only to the super rich. Everyone in the world's got a right to enjoy these animals.
-- - from combined revenue streams for all three parks should reach eight to nine billion dollars a year - -
-That's conservative, of course. There's no reason to speculate wildly.
-I don't believe it. I expected you to come down here and defend me from these characters and the only one I've got on my side it the bloodsucking lawyer!?
-Have a heart gentlemen. Their parents are getting a divorce and they need the diversion.
-Hey! Where are the brakes?
-I read your book.
-Because they sure don't look like birds to me. I heard a meteor hit the earth and made like this one hundred mile crater someplace down in Mexico - -
-Listen, ahh - -
-Tim.
-Tim. Which car were you planning on - -
-And his book was a lot fatter than yours.
-These look kind of familiar.
-Are you okay? Can you move? Tim! Are you okay?
-Tim, are you okay?
-I'm stuck. The seat's got my feet!
-I threw up.
-Okay, that's not so bad, ah Tim?
-Yes it is.
-It's just like coming out of a tree house. Did your dad ever build you a tree house, Tim, eh?
-No.
-Me too. Okay. Well, the main thing about climbing is never, never look down, never.
-This is impossible. How am I going...I can't make it. This is...it's about fifty feet.
-So am I going to help you with your foot?
-'Course you could just wait in there while we go back and get help.
-That's a good idea.
-You'll probably be safe enough on your own --
-I doubt it.
-It's okay to call them brontosaurs, Tim. It's a great name. It's a romantic name. It means "thunder lizard".
-Straight-A brainiac!
-What do you call a blind dinosaur?
-I don't know. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
-A Do-you-think-he-saurus. What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?
-You got me.
-Take a bite, take a bite. I'm not letting go.
-Come on, try some. Take a bite.
-It's good protein. Come on, Lex. Why don't you touch it? Look at his nose.
-You know what this is? It's a dinosaur egg. The dinosaurs are breeding.
-But - - my grandpa said all the dinosaurs were girls.
-It's a bit of a climb. You guys think you can make it?
-I can't! I'm scared!
-Go, go, go, jump!
-You're crazy! I'm not gonna jump!
-Are you crazy? What if you miss? I hate it up here.
-So you two dig up dinosaurs?
-Cloning from What?! Loy extraction has never recreated an intact DNA strand!
-to Grant) She's, uh - - tenacious.
-You have no idea.
-You got any kids?
-You're married?
-By the way, Dr. Sattler - she's not like, uh, available, is she? - -
-Why?
-What'd I touch?!
-You haven't touched didn't touch anything. We're stopping. We've stopped.
-I must've touched something. This happens all the time. It must be my fault. Machines hate me.
-Machines hate you?
-Yeah, they hate me.
-You want to talk about this?
-Their radio's out too. Gennaro said to stay put.
-The kids okay?
-Well, I didn't ask. Why wouldn't they be?
-Kids get scared.
-What's to be scared about? It's just a little hiccup in the power.
-I didn't say I was scared.
-I didn't say you were scared.
-I know.
-Where does he think he's going?
-Keep absolutely still - - it's vision's based on movement!
-You're sure?!
-Oh my God!
-We gotta do something.
-What? What can we do?
-Hey, we were saving that!
-For today, I guarantee it.
-And who in God's name do you think you are....?
-Not just kids - - for everyone. We're going to open next year. Unless the lawyers kill me first. I don't care for lawyers. You?
-I, uh, don't really know any. We - -
-Well, I'm afraid I do. There's one, a particular pebble in my shoe. He represents my investors. He says they insist on outside opinions.
-What kind of opinions?
-Well, it's - - right up your alley. Look, why don't you both come on down for the weekend. Love to have the opinion of a paleobotoanist as well. I've got a jet standing by at Choteau.
-No, I'm sorry, that wouldn't be possible. We've just discovered a new skeleton, and - -
-I could compensate you by fully funding your dig
-- - this would be an awfully unusual time - -
-That thing's got a what, twenty-five, twenty-seven foot neck?
-- - and you're going to sit there and try to tell me it can push blood up a thirty-foot neck without a four-chambered heart and get around like that?! Like that!? This is like a knockout punch for warm-bloodedness.
-Can't you stop these things?!
-Sorry! It's kind of a ride!
-Blood temperature feels like high eighties.
-Robert. Robert Muldoon, my game warden from Kenya. Bit of an alarmist, I'm afraid, But he's dealt with the raptors more than anyone.
-Yes, yes, yes, which is why we take extreme precautions. They viewing area below us will have eight-inch tempered glass set in reinforced steel frames to - -
-Ah - - they're here.
-You four are going to have a little company out in the park. Spend a little time with our target audience. Maybe they'll help you get the spirit of this place.
-Mr. Hammond, I've decided not to endorse your Park.
-Tim! Lex!
-He's knocked out! He's knocked out! Dr. Grant! Dr. Grant! Daddy, daddy!
-Dad - - Dad - -
-Shhh - - I'm right here, Lex. I'm going to look after you. I'm going to help your brother. I want you to stay here and wait for me, okay?
-He left us! He left us!
-Liar! You said you wouldn't leave!
-It's safe?
-It's safe.
-It's safe.
-Go that's the way we're going to go. What do you say?
-Hear that? Are you hearing this?
-Tim, Tim, Tim....
-Oh, I hate the other kind.
-They're just doing what they do. Well the other kind - - - - just do what they do.
-What are you gonna do now if you don't have to dig of dinosaur bones any more?
-What if the dinosaur comes back while we're all asleep?
-I'll stay awake.
-All night?
-Go away!
-I like cows.
-What's that?
-Watch how it eats!
-Please!
-Let's go!
-C'mon Tim, move down, damn it!
-Do as he says! The power's coming back, Timmy!
-Timmy, let go! You're gonna have to let go! Count to three. I'll catch you.
-Shhhh. Tim, I'm right here below you. Easy catch. One, two, three. You count it yourself. One, two, three - -
-You're gonna get electrocuted electrified!
-It's am easy catch, you let - - go - - you do the counting, you count it, Tim. One, two, three -- you do all the counting, okay?
-Timmy, listen to Dr. Grant!
-I am gonna have to find the others and get you to a doctor. Will you look after Tim, Lex?
-What works?
-You'll have to get use to Dr. Malcolm! He suffers from a deplorable excess of personality, especially for a mathematician!
-John doesn't subscribe to Chaos, particularly what it has to say about his little science project!
-Codswollop! Ian, you've never come close to explaining these concerns of yours about this island!
-A load, if I may say so. of fashionable number crunching, that¹s all it is!
-John, John.
-Don't do that!
-Your silence intrigues me.
-Alright Donald, alright, but just let him talk. I want to hear all viewpoints. I truly do. I truly am.
-You don't give us our due credit. Our scientists have done things no one could ever do before.
-Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should. Science can create pesticides, but it can't tell us not to use them. Science can make a nuclear reactor, but it can't tell us not to build it!
-But this is nature! Why not give an extinct species a second chance?! I mean, Condors. Condors are on the verge of extinction - - if I'd created a flock of them on the island, you wouldn't be saying any of this! have anything to say at all!
-Hold on - - this is no species that was obliterated by deforestation or the building of a dam. Dinosaurs had their shot. Nature selected them for extinction.
-I don't understand this Luddite attitude, especially from a scientist. How could we stand in the light of discovery and not act?
-I think perhaps I'll just sit down. I don't suppose you think all that much of me now, do you?
-That will teach you to trust Grandpa.
-I am totally unappreciated in my time. We can run the whole park from this room, with minimal staff, for up to three days. You think that kind of automation is easy? Or cheap? You know anybody who can network eight Connection Machines and de-bug two million lines of code for what I bid this job? Because I'd sure as hell like to see
-I'm sorry about your financial problems. I really am. But they are your problems.
-You're right, John. You're absolutely right. Everything's my problem.
-I will not get drawn into another financial conversation with you, Dennis. I really will not.
-I don't think there's been any debate. There's no debate...my mistakes....
-I don't blame people for their mistakes, but I do ask that they pay for them.
-Why didn't I build in Orlando?
-I'll keep an eye on it. Maybe it'll swing south like the last one.
-Sustain winds 45 knots.
-Tell them when they get back to the cars.
-Well?
-Robert - - I wonder if perhaps you would be kind good enough to take a gas jeep and bring back my grandchildren.
-We miss you.
-Thanks for the presents.
-What's going to happen to the goat? He's going to eat the goat?!
-I'm sorry - - I'm sorry - -
-I don't know, I don't know. I'm sorry - -
-Why did you do this?
-Why are we hurrying if there's nothing wrong?
-I hate trees!
-They don't bother me.
-No, no, sh, sh, sh - - stop! Stop! Stop! Don't let the monsters come over here!
-They're not monsters, Lex. They're just animals. And these are herbivores.
-I'm a hacker!
-Hey Lex, ahhhchooo! Hey Lex, com here.
-What?
-That's not funny.
-Jump, Timmy! It's too late!
-You're gonna get electrocuted electrified! The power's coming back!
-Hello?
-Ken, it's Bruce. Listen, we've got a nibble on the Pendleton financing.
-Fifty.
-Fifty? We need seventy-five.
-You tell them if they come up to seventy-five, I'll cut them in on the Crystal Lake package.
-Don't tell me you're still thinking of buying Casa de Psycho...
-Chain saws.
-You want to put in chain saws?
-I don't think the people who live around here would like that very much...
-Do you think they like the fact that tourism has dropped ninety-eight percent in the last ten years?
-No, but...
-And do you think they like the fact that half the country thinks Crystal Lake is filled with corpses?
-That's not true...
-Beautiful trees... sturdy trunks... lots of branches... We can do some great logging up here.
-Logging? We'll need an environmental impact study for that...
-Jesus Christ!
-Just a deer, Mister Biller. Part of the local wildlife.
-Okay... well... I think it's this way...
-Mister Biller?
-Yeah?
-I think we're lost.
-You have a map.
-I didn't think there were any houses up here...
-Structure might be salvageable... let's see what the interior looks like.
-Mister Biller... now that we can see the lake, I think we should follow the shoreline to --
-There doesn't seem to be any water damage. Kind of cozy, actually.
-I really think we should go back...
-Hello?
-Who is this? What's going on?
-This is Janet Davenport -- I'm the Realtor.
-I don't know...
-What about that other guy?
-Other guy?
-Janet, are you okay? Are you there?
-He... he's here...
-Oh my god... this is his house... _we're in his fucking house_...
-Janet, goddamnit, what's going on?
-Two.
-I'm not sure I'd call them murder exactly. More like a couple of bar fights that got out of hand.
-I seem to recall arguing the same thing in court while you were trying to file murder-one charges.
-Quite a circus.
-What?
-Ruby, come on. You witnessed a brutal triple murder and you're having trouble accepting it. Think about what you're saying. You really expect a jury to believe that Jason has a mystery killer living in his tummy?
-I can't wait to hear your opening argument. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury... the Defense will prove that Jason Voorhees did not kill all of these people. They, in fact, committed mass suicide and then buried themselves in his back yard..."
-What's going on?
-It's still on.
-What?
-What happened?
-_Krueger_...
-Who?
-Three. Where's my client?
-Your... client is being booked right now. He'll be in cell five.
-What are the charges?
-Shit. We're still putting the victim list together. You'll need a forklift for the case file. I suggest you hire some help, and don't expect to get a lot of sleep for the next few months. You're about to defend the most notorious serial killer in American history.
-I thought that was Ted Bundy.
-A house?
-Ruby... this guy almost took out an entire Tactical Response Team. You can't expect me to just leave you --
-That's right... it... it came right out of his chest...
-Who's chest?
-And this hand... it... it slashed Doctor Layton's throat... and the Deputy. Then it grabbed Danny by the head... And it pulled his head right down into his chest... I couldn't... Hayes lays a hand his shoulder.
-Take it easy, Ruby... it's all right. Now, try to think clearly... don't you mean _Jason's_ hand... don't you mean he grabbed a scalpel and slashed Doctor Layton's throat?
-Are you going to plead insanity?
-Sorry.
-Now... I think the video store's open for another couple of hours. Let's go.
-So... why can't Jason get a fair trial?
-Because everyone knows he's guilty...
-You think that's going to work?
-You watch this garbage?
-"Zombie Sluts From Beyond the Grave."
-Well?
-He's fucking nuts.
-Great. Is that what you're going to say when I put you on the stand?
-No. When you put me on the stand, I'll say your client is catatonic and exhibits classic symptoms of a schizophrenic, sociopathic personality. And he doesn't sleep.
-Doesnit sleep?
-Insomnia. Not unusual for someone in his situation. Not to mention he's a bed-wetter.
-He wets the bed?
-Oh?
-This is bad, Joe. The Prosecution is already putting together a team of psychiatric specialists. They'll argue exactly the opposite. They'll say he's just pretending to be catatonic and he's completely sane.
-Great. Battling head doctors. We'll confuse the jury enough to create a reasonable doubt. Hung jury.
-Nurses. That's why I went into medicine.
-This sexual obsession of yours. Have you considered going into therapy yourself?
-No need. I'm self-diagnosed. I have severe nympholepsy... And I'm a bed-wetter.
-I don't believe it. Jason's mother died of ovarian cancer in 1969.
-So?
-That's the problem with this case. Everyone thinks they know Jason's life story. But they don't. What you're remembering is a _movie_. Fiction. In the movie, Jason's mother runs around, killing people after Jason drowns in Crystal Lake
-None of that's true?
-Well, Jason _was_ in a canoe accident in 1967 and presumed drowned. His mother died a few years later after a long bout with cancer. Some time in the early eighties, there were a string of murders out by Crystal Lake... People started saying it was Jason... back from the dead.
-So, what are you saying... that he didn't kill all those people?
-Don't get me wrong. I don't care. But the professional part of me is interested in how you rationalize what you do.
-I don't "rationalize" anything. I'm his lawyer -- he's my client. That's all.
-What do you want -- a tidy psychological profile? You want to hear that I was falsely accused of a crime I didn't commit... and that's driven me to defend others? Or maybe you want to me to get in touch with my feelings... talk about my childhood...
-No. You've told me all I need to know.
-Oh?
-Not much here. Jason was brought in a couple more times for insomnia... that's about it.
-Wait a minute. Let me see that. She hands him the file.
-The mother said the boy hadn't slept for over three _months_. A physical examination showed dilated pupils, temperature of one-oh-two, blood chemistry highly imbalanced...
-That's pretty weird. Is it possible for someone to not sleep for months?
-It's rare... but there are cases where people go for years without sleep. They diagnosed Jason with simple insomnia... but that's not what it looks like to me. He has every indication of having _insomnolesence_.
-Insomnolesence...
-So Jason doesn't sleep... how does that help us?
-Insomnolesence has been known to cause psychotic episodes... delusions...
-If we could prove that Jason suffers from this disorder... and that his homicidal behavior has been a direct result of a medical condition...
-Not guilty by reason of insanity. Case closed.
-How do we prove it?
-Simple. We sedate him, induce a somnolesent state, and study his REM patterns when he's unconscious. If he has the disorder, his REMS will be highly abnormal. Ruby smiles.
-How long will he need to be asleep?
-Well, that's it. He'll be asleep in a few minutes, but his first REM-cycle probably won't kick in for another hour or so. Is there a place we can get something to eat in this town?
-There's a pizza place over on Market.
-Cute waitresses?
-That's open to debate.
-There's nothing to see here. He sleeps... we record it. That's all that happens.
-I think I'm onto something, Joe.
-Me too. I'm drunk.
-Krueger... doesn't ring a bell.
-He was a child killer in the late sixties... in a town called Springwood about eight miles from here. Guess what his murder weapon was? A glove with six-inch blades.
-Fascinating.
-I thought you said Krueger burned to death.
-That's right. The murders in the eighties were never solved. But... there were teenaged witnesses who said Krueger had the ability to appear in your dreams... and that if he killed you in a dream, it would kill you in the real world.
-Uh-huh...
-Don't you see? Jason was _asleep_. And he was dreaming -- the REM patterns prove that. And I saw finger blades just like Krueger's come out of Jason's chest. There has to be a connection.
-See this?
-Yeah, what is it?
-It's as though there were two people in that room... both of them asleep... both of them dreaming.
-That doesn't make sense.
-Add it to the list.
-I don't suppose I can go back to the University and chase young coeds again... pretend this whole thing never happened...
-Not yet.
-Then I'd say we should put Jason under again... run another tape on him and see what happens. We'll get extra data this time. Video... infrared... the works.
-Great. When can you do it?
-Tomorrow. If you can clear it with the Sheriff's department.
-I'll have to lean on them pretty hard after what happened last night... but I think I can do it. Let me know what happens.
-You're not going to be there?
-It's all right. I'm simply in shock... this is what happens to people when they experience events they can't understand or comprehend. The mind shuts down temporarily and tries to shield itself from the horrific imagery it's been exposed to. I'm going to need a lot of therapy.
-You saw him?
-What are you doing?
-This is Jason's REM pattern... and this is the boy's REM pattern. They're identical.
-How's that possible?
-So Krueger thinks Jason's dead... leaves him in the lake... but the boy actually wakes up on the shore... crawls off into the woods... where he lives the rest of his life alone.
-If I'm right, this happened before the Krueger murders in Springwood. That means that Jason might've been Krueger's first victim.
-Where's he going?
-I don't know... but I think he's pissed.
-Great. Now there's _two_ serial killers on the loose.
-You know how to use one of those?
-I used to go hunting with my father when I was a kid.
-Krueger's in the real world... maybe he's mortal, like us.
-And if he's not?
-What's that?
-_Neurolar_. It's a stimulant -- it's also a serotonin inhibitor. It suppresses all electrical activity in the hippocampus... the part of the brain that controls dreaming.
-So you think it might counteract Krueger's ability to make us hallucinate?
-Ten CC's of this shit and you won't be dreaming about anything.
-How long will the effect last?
-About ten minutes.
-Ten minutes...
-We're down to seven minutes.
-Are you all right?
-What happened? Where's Jason?
--- I'm hoping to live in the Old Quarter.
-You work in the insurance department?
-Where do you live?
-It's only majestic from here. When you get closer you see it for what it really is.
-What is it really?
-A glorified office block. They keep all the old records there -- the final resting place for facts and figures that have ceased to matter in the world of the living.
-My assistants, I presume.
-You look like brothers.
-Yes -- we do.
-Have you worked here long?
-Fine -- terrible.
-Heralds of a new age -- does that sound immodest?
-Preliminary investigations may already be underway.
--- Merely in the interests of order.
--- Ah, but what if it <u>wasn't</u>?
-Yours is a very powerful and important firm -- it has a lot at stake.
-I've read your stories. They're fantastic.
-I don't know what you could have read.
-Just what you've published.
--- In magazines nobody reads.
-I read the one about the penal colony.
-Did you?
-Gabriela was right -- it's easier for me to understand suicide. I'm a practicing suicide.
-These strange stories you write -- they come naturally, do they?
-Naturally? -- that's not the word I would have chosen.
-Where do you get your ideas? Only joking -- I'm just joking. Let's go to a brothel then, Kafka, come on.
-I haven't got the energy. I mean, I have to conserve my energy.
-That would be even worse -- it would be a compromise.
-Success or nothing?
-You work in the cemetery.
-A man must eat -- And drink.
--- I'm flattered, of course, to be considered a friend -- even without knowing all the details. -- To see such determination is reward enough for me.
--- Oh, yes, determination runs in the family.
-There is <u>one</u> thing I'd like you to tell me.
-I'm trying to find things out myself -- that's the whole point.
-What made you think <u>I'd</u> be able to get you into the Castle?
-The cemetery is nearer the Castle than anywhere else -- wasn't it part of the Castle originally? -- I always assumed there'd be a gate or something. Isn't there?
-I was restoring some stones here in the upper section one day -- and I found this.
-An empty tomb?
-The Castle gates were blockaded in the time of the great plague -- it's an escape route. Don't get stuck.
--- You appreciate my writing.
-Yes.
-Will you do me a favor then?
-Another one?
-If I don't see you later -- go to my house and find my notebooks -- and destroy them. All my manuscripts -- just burn them. Please.
-What an extraordinary request!
-It's my last and final one.
-Then its authority is in doubt.
-A true friend would do it.
-The keeper of the files is still waiting for your final summation of the Erlanger claim.
-I gave it to him yesterday.
-You didn't give it to <u>me</u>.
-No, I left it in his office.
-Did you see him?
-I've never seen him. I don't believe there is a keeper of the files.
-He's usually in the storage room sorting things out. He can't close the file on a case until he has the concluding report.
-He has it, he just hasn't noticed it yet, all right?
-In an organization as efficient as ours, if a document once in a great while gets lost it might never be found at all.
-Burgel, I thought it would be easier, as long as I was passing --
-But <u>I'm</u> the messenger. An error like this damages my credibility.
-Your credibility -- yes, it's well known.
-When I deliver a message the very act of delivering it, you might say, gives it an official stamp, and only in this way are both the sender and the receiver satisfied that it was delivered at all.
-Are you looking for Gabriela Rossmann?
-Good morning -- Or should I say good afternoon?
-Say what you like -- no one pays the least attention.
-Oh, don't they? I think you underestimate my station in this office and overrate your own.
-Not today, Burgel. Send one of your memos, write up one of your communiques, but for God's sake don't bother me today.
-It's my place to offer advice, not yours -- and by advising the Chief Clerk of your unpunctuality it's certainly not my situation that's compromised, if that's what you're implying.
-You're just doing your job.
-It's what I'm paid to do.
-You're detestable.
-You wanted to see me, sir.
-You've been with the firm for nearly nine years. You've done your work diligently, there are no complaints on that score. But there's more to the job than the work -- there are other people to consider -- and frankly, Kafka, we eel your social situation could bear improving.
-... My ... social situation?
-To do my work well, I have little time for --
-You must make the time. Where do you go off to in the lunch hour?
-I usually take lunch by the River.
-It's not healthy, Kafka -- not for you and not for your workmates. At the annual dinner this month you again failed to make an appearance.
-I did not realize it was obligatory.
-Have you never wondered -- and I mention this only in passing -- why other clerks have advanced to more responsible positions while you, who have been here longer, have not?
-No, sir.
-Attitude, Kafka. It doesn't matter how well you do your work -- you still see it as something to be gotten on with rather than something to take an active interest in.
-Well, I --
-Oh, I know you got along with that poor fellow -- what was his name?
--- Eduard --
-I understand you fancy yourself an author.
-In a small way.
-Excuse me, sir -- I understand you have Eduard Raban's file.
-I do.
-Was there something else?
-No -- I just -- I feel a sense of obligation. He was my friend -- if I can be of any help -- closing his affairs.
-No, there's only one report to complete. I'll be doing it myself and submitting it to the Castle today or tomorrow.
-I see -- it's just the Erlanger claim then.
-The <u>Orlac</u> claim.
-I'm Kafka -- I work upstairs in Accident --
-I know.
-You're a friend of Eduard Raban's.
-Why would you suppose so?
-Oh -- well, I thought he once mentioned --
-I'm sorry, but I just wondered --
-Hello again.
-I've never seen you here before.
-Well -- nice to know life exists outside the office.
-I was having an affair with Eduard. He didn't tell you?
-No.
-He would have. You were his best friend. A better friend than me.
-I suspected that he -- well.
-What?
-That he was -- satisfied in that regard. I didn't want to pry.
-What's funny?
-This morning it was suggested to me that my own sense of office fellowship could bear improving.
-How long were you and Eduard --
-No, I don't. I'm amazed that anyone is able to bear life with any assurance at all.
-Eduard didn't see it as something that needed bearing.
-The police would know the difference, wouldn't they?
-Do you think people in the New Town care what happens over here? This will always be the ghetto.
-He wasn't robbed. He was identified by his wallet.
-And you believe everything the authorities tell you.
-When I have no reason to doubt.
-The very fact that they're authorities should give you reason. People will do anything to protect their own interests. For all you know he was killed at the <u>hands</u> of the police.
-Are you free tonight?
-Tonight?
-There are some people I'd like you to meet. Can you come to the Musil district at eight o'clock?
-You almost married recently, didn't you?
-Last year. I -- it was broken off.
-Eduard wanted to marry me.
-And you ...?
--- I don't know the Musil district.
-Ah -- we're back to the "authorities" you spoke of.
-I nominated you as a possible candidate. You were Eduard's good friend. He read me some of your work.
-I've hardly published enough for anyone to draw conclusions from.
-The day he died, Eduard was called up to the Castle. Did you know that?
-What of it?
-And you still maintain -- what? That he was murdered.
-You're shocked at the thought of Eduard tossing a bomb through a window.
-I have no right to be, I know. My experience with real life is practically nil.
-When you only see someone sitting at a desk all day, it's liable to create a false impression.
-You think what we're doing is so wrong? And what are you doing? Pursuing goodness? For what? To answer to some supreme tribunal?
-My only concern is the human tribunal. Isn't it yours?
-Yes -- which is why "quiet, dependable people" have to take charge of their own lives.
-I'm collecting Eduard's things. If there's anything you want, take it or I'll give it to charity.
-Burgel gave me this -- what does it mean?
-Burgel! -- I didn't leave it with him.
-Why were you given notice?
-They're not obliged to tell.
-It couldn't be for that incident with Burgel the other day.
-Of course it could -- Burgel's been trying to get me thrown out as long as I can remember. <u>He</u> could've killed Eduard.
-You don't believe that.
-You might think -- I thought so myself at first -- that Burgel's too insignificant to be dangerous. But that's the very reason to beware! It's the small men to watch out for -- the ones who substitute method for character.
-Now you've fallen into his trap. When he goes to bed at night Burgel dreams of inspiring as much fear in others as they inspire in him.
-That street down there -- I always used to call it the approach road for suicides. It leads straight down to the bridge and the River.
-Burgel hated Eduard. And me. I'm sure he knew about us -- and I'm sure it drove him mad.
-Burgel doesn't like anybody!
-He used to like me -- very much more than I liked him.
-Of course he is -- the Castle precincts are not the safest part of the city after dark. People disappear up there regularly. If you want to lie in wait for someone, that's the place to do it.
-Now you're saying Eduard was lured there?
-How often does one of our clerks have business in the house of records?
-I've heard of it happening.
-And Burgel is the bringer of messages, isn't he?
-Or what if there really <u>was</u> an error? -- I don't know what kind -- any kind that needed correcting -- and what if Burgel was responsible for it? One mistake -- even a small one in a firm like ours -- it could cost him a promotion.
-First these nameless authorities were the root of all evil, now it's insignificant Burgel. If indeed there was a mistake -- and a minor one at that -- you're suggesting someone went to a lot of trouble over something so trivial as to not matter at all.
-What seems important to these people is not determined by the amount of work it entails -- you're far from understanding the authorities if you believe that.
-Gabriela! -- you did get away.
-I knew you walked this way to work. I wanted to find you before they did.
--- I've just come from the Castle. It's over.
-Gabriela ...?
-Only two steps back? Even the man they left to guard me retreated further than that.
-I -- I found your jailer.
-This is the result of their elixir of youth. They were to come and check on it during the night. I contrived to miss the appointment.
-They're dead now. We can get help.
-I know how they reward failure. If they saw this I'd be rotting in the quarries by the afternoon -- with all the others.
-There's a new potion -- he said it was perfected.
-I know there is. And you're what I have to bargain with. For now you're the last one in their way.
-I told you, they're <u>dead</u>. It's finished.
-I think you've just escaped for the moment. Just as I did. As Eduard did. As they let us do. But only for the moment.
-No -- not this time.
-I know better than you what people will say when they have to. When they brought me in for questioning I informed on my friends the very first day.
--- Listen to me --
-Kafka -- is that your real name?
-Yes. Yes, of course -- why wouldn't it be?
-When was the last time you saw Mr. Raban?
-Wednesday. We left the office together.
-Did you go anywhere afterwards -- to have a drink perhaps?
-No, we said goodbye outside the building. He went off, as usual, toward his house.
-Your office is the Workmen's --
--- Accident and Compensation Association.
-Where you've been employed for seven years.
-Eight -- and seven months.
-Engaged in the manufacture and distribution of ... pills and so forth.
-Well -- other departments are, yes.
-Would you describe your relationship with the dead man as close?
-Yes. Since he came to the office, almost three years ago, we've been quite good friends. How was Eduard ...
-He was found in the River. Could he swim?
-I don't know.
-Was he depressed?
-No. He didn't seem to be. Do you think he drowned himself?
-Grown men don't normally fall into the river, do they?
-No, I suppose not.
-He might have had a drink or two, despite what you think.
-Can I ask -- how you found me?
-His landlady knew of no other friends to refer us to.
-I don't think he really had any. He had no family either.
-He wasn't a lonely man, though.
-What makes you think so?
-Probably not.
-Anyway, I'd like you to reflect that in me you have -- I won't say a friend, because we're complete fencers, of course -- from distinctly incompatible social classes -- but to some extent, shall we say, an interested third party.
-I'll bear that in mind.
-But that's just my point -- she was more than upset, she was livid. She slammed every door on her way downstairs -- except that one. I was just behind her and I didn't even hear that one <u>shut</u> -- not at all.
-That's not what I call conclusive evidence of an abduction.
-You told me to contact you if anything relevant came up -- Gabriela is relevant. When I spoke to you before I didn't know she'd been seeing Eduard.
-That's been noted. But where does it lead us? Unless you have something more to add.
-Maybe it's true then what she said.
-What did she say?
-Do you?
-I didn't realize you'd been here that long.
--- I was just trying to finish some work!
-What's the matter with you?
-I can't make a simple statement without him taking issue with it
-For all your incompetence I was beginning to think you were at least loyal to me. You're very good ham actors.
--- Just doing our job.
-Still, we're probably closer to you at the moment than any of your fellow human beings.
-My assistants. I should have known. Nothing is given to me. I have to acquire everything.
-... Why take me into your confidence?
-That's <u>mad</u>.
--- You said so yourself the firm is large and powerful. If the discrepancy really was something big, Eduard's responsibility would still have to be small. No poor young <u>clerk</u> could find himself in such a fix.
-Why are you so aggressively unimaginative? Eduard is no longer the only casualty.
--- Gabriela, on the other hand, had made an enemy of this man Burgel.
-Oh, Burgel! Gabriela was having an affair with Eduard. They were both members of <u>this group</u>. If any crime's been discovered and people are paying for it, I'd look to <u>yourselves</u>!
-... A piece of paper ...
-Through a very unfortunate -- and I might add extremely rare -- mishap, a document intended for the one department was sent to the other. And for the first time -- though your friend wasn't aware of it -- two and two could have been put together to make one.
-... A piece of paper ...
--- You seem amused.
--- If an obscure official up there in the distant mountains so far away from civilizing influences happens to meet with an unfortunate accident -- and should he tragically die in spite of the District Medical Officer's strenuous efforts to save him -- the firm wants to see the next of kin pacified and the disposition of the remains handled with the greatest possible
-"Accident and Compensation" -- no one can accuse the firm of not supplying exactly what it promises.
-I believe we've exceeded his expectations.
-And I suppose Dr. Murnau didn't die in a cave-in. You killed him to free the Position of Orlac Medical Officer for your own ends.
-May I ask where your two warders are?
-The fact that it's live bodies you practice your trade on doesn't seem to matter to you.
--- And the new patients they bring me aren't usually as dexterous as you've been in evading us. Not perfect specimens by any means, but not the type of person who'll be missed either.
-What have you done with Gabriela Rossmann?
-"Raban" -- that'll be nearly at the back of the alphabet.
-It usually is.
-I'm overworked as it is. "Raban" did you say?
-Wait a minute. "Raban?" Where have I heard that name?
-What's the matter?
-Why would we keep files on <u>dead</u> employees? All old files are sent up to the Castle. Do you think we have room for two hundred years worth personnel records?
-It's gone out so quickly?
-Whenever an employee departs, shall we say, it's up to the head of his department to requisition his file, reassign any outstanding claims, and send it off.
-If it was Accounts you wanted why did you ask for Employees?
-Orlac is an account?
-All these in the last year?
-You must have read about it in the papers -- there was a terrible cave-in. It wouldn't have been so bad, but even the Medical Officer for the district was killed!
-I did read that. They gave him a posthumous medal.
-Dr. Murnau was the bravest of men. He spent an entire career in those backwaters with no regard for personal gain. A great loss.
-This is the cross-reference of clerks who've worked on Orlac claims?
-Is your friend's name among them? Then he only worked on the one case. Your Chief will send me the final summation when he's finished with it.
-Once a file's been sent to the Caste, is it possible to recall it for review?
-Of course not. Only by a Director of the firm. Who'd want to let in all kinds of riff-raff off the streets?
-What good are records if they're not open for public inspection?
-These laws have been with us for centuries -- how can you doubt them?
-What if I petitioned one of the Directors?
-You do not summon them -- they summon you -- and this, of course, hardly ever happens, if at all. The Directors are an eccentric lot and by nature cautious.
-Where do our records go to in the Castle?
-We're a medical firm, aren't we? They go to the Medical Records Section.
-I could always apply there.
-Ludwig.
-He can't sit still. Just when we arrive at a nightclub he wants to go to another one.
-You look tired.
-Women are all you have on your mind!
-They keep switching us from department to department. He doesn't mind because he can't sit still.
-We used to be in the supply section, carrying boxes of medicine about but we dropped too many of them.
-It's not our fault. We're naturally nervous.
-We've been together too long. His personality is overflowing into mine and vice versa.
-But your goal is so hard to reach. Do you think the official network would surrender to one man? We would never think of attempting anything remotely as difficult.
-Oskar!
-This is filed incorrectly!
-We could go back to the office. Explain ourselves to the Chief Clerk.
-They'd drive us away. That Kafka's made things very hot for us.
-I understand he was wounded in the lung.
-It doesn't matter. It's too late for all of us.
-Then that's the place for us!
-Amerika for us!
-Hi - Carl Denham. I'm A big admirer of your work, sir. I've loved all your discoveries. I really want to work closely with you on this incredible find. It'll be good for you and good for me.
-I'm coming onboard! Throw down a ladder!
-You're outta your depth here, Miss Darrow!
-There's no hard feelings, Mr Denham! I just want to come to the island with you!
-Can I see the map? My father spoke of references to a Beast God ...
-I hope it fits ... Mrs Denham's a big lady.
-It's ... lovely.
-I thought that with your assistance we could have the premiere at the Albert Hall. We'll take out a full page ad in Variety - "The Lord Darrow Benefit screening". We'll invite the King of England - hell, we'll get the whole Royal Family along! It'd be good for them and good for us!
-Am actually laying my hand on the twenty-five foot gorilla.Ladies and gentlemen! I am touching the beast!
-Get the hell out of here.''!
-What have you got there?
-A Neolithic bronze ... Reminiscent of the Nias Island cultures ... It ' s very curious. Defiantly Pagan. The use of ivory for the spear is quite unique ... What do you think?
-Now look at this fine example of early Hindu art ... I don't recall any sketches of this passing across my desk ...
-I photographed it extensively, father.
-Father!
-Out! Out! All of you! We have been issued with an exclusive permit -
-Father It's somewhere south-west of here - we need to inform the museum ... · organize an expedition -
-Oh God, it's that bloody yank!
-He's grubbing for money, father.
-I just wanna deal with the boss, ok?
-No, it's not ok! We're not about to be robbed blind by some two-bit hustler on the make!
-You - calling me a thief? Well, that's great, coming from a glorified grave robber! You break into the tomb of some dead Egyptian - the poor guy's happily enjoying the afterlife when suddenly his shit gets stolen by a bunch of light fingered limeys!
-Holy God! The mummy walks!
-How dare you? My father is the British Museum's most respected archeologist!
-God, you're so obnoxious! Our work happens to be of great anthropological value!
-I'm sorry ...
-Where do I charter a boat?
-There's nothing fast enough to catch that. Forget it. It's over.
-Can you fly?
-Yeah! Life's looking pretty damn good at the moment.
-I don't know what happened to you, Jack ... but I can't believe you were always this much of a bastard.
-I want to thank you.
-It's ok.I know what you were feeling.
-I can't imagine you crying.
-There's a light up ahead.
-It's the same image - Kong!
-Jack!
-We're leaving.
-But . . . we can' t Jack, I need time to collect artifacts ... make sketches ... gather evidential information.
-Oh Jesus ... you took it.
-Jack! This is the archeological find of the century!
-Give it back!
-I'm not sailing with this thing on board!
-Barricade the gates! Quick!
-Jesus Christ ! How could you do this to him? How could you do this?
-Come on, come on! We gotta keep moving!
-He's gonna die! They'll kill him!
-Take to look out there ..- Have you seen what he's done? You're talking about a crazy animal!
-Ann ... Ann!
-Look, I've sailed these waters for twenty-seven years ... there's no island like that around here.
-What a climax to the film - The first white men to set foot on ... "Skull Island" Twentieth Century man comes face to face with a ... a ... naked stone age tribe!
-I tell you it doesn't exist!
-There's no island there. We're wasting our time!
-I'm chartering this vessel,Engelhorn - how many days?
-I guess that answers your questions. There's no island on these co- ordinates - not even a lousy fog-bank.
-They're stoking the boilers. As soon as we've got some steam, we're outta here.
-Just take it easy .-- Where are the others?
-They' re dead.
-Pleased to meet you ... Hi, bow's it going? Pleased to meet you! Hi, Carl Denham ... How's it going?
-We offer ourselves at your service, Mr Denham!
-You are most kind. We will be proud to assist you!
-Exotic lands, primitive people, dangerous animals ... That's what the public expect from a Carl Denham picture! Lead us into the mountains, Sir!
-Tell me Mr Ginting - are there any parts of your country where people still wear ... native costume?
-Native costume?
-We are a very modest and deeply religious people, Mr Denham.
-Man Eater!!!
-Did you see her?
-Yeah, I saw her ... she was carried into the jungle by ... an animal.
-What was it, Jack?
-Listen buddy! Cut the crap! We're looking for Ann, not making a Goddamn movie!
-Jack ... You get to save the girl and I get my third act! It's gonna be good for you and good for me!
-Holy shit! Look at the size of that!
-That's your monkey, Denham.
-Hey! I thought these things were supposed to be extinct!
-They were just tasting the berries.
-Set up the camera boys! Get a shot of me comin' ashore!
-I'm calling a wrap. We're heading back to the ship.
-What?
-Denham! Go back to the wall ... Tell'em to give me twelve hours to get back with Ann!
-Not me. Thought I'd head out west ... get into some Redwood country.
-Haven't seen her - not since we got back.
-Are you nervous Jack?
-Did you fear for your life?
-It must have been terrifying?
-Are you gonna start it up?
-Yeah.
-Why?
-Coz of something I lost.
-What's that?
-Compassion.
-Bree -- honey - please, we're waiting for someone.
-Arlyn, he just wanted to ask some questions -- something you could help us about.
-Honey, a couple of years ago, with Jane and Frankie? -- Jane sent me a Dumper --
-Please, if he sees you, he won't come!
-Arlyn, just tell me, did Jane have a dumper, one of her regular Johns?
-What about him? Yes.
-Trina this is Klute. I told you about him.
-Oh yes Mr. Klute -- won't you both join me? And how do you like our fair city? There's so much here don't you think? The museums and the books and the foreign films -- Bree, have you seen the Godard film?
-Uh uh.
-Oh you've got to. He does such fun things with imagery. And I've been reading The Fall -- -- The Fall by Ahlbair Camoo -- it's the same thing, you know the imagery --
-Why? She's a junkie.
-She was with you after she left Frank.
-Enjoy. Well --
-It's good to see you. Well -- could we do it first and then just talk?
-Sure dear, yes.
-Well -- well I'm just back. And -- I must tell you -- something quite wonderful.
-Yes?
-And Cannes was quite fun, quite; and we played baccarat and chemindefer and there was a nice little Italian marquis quite enthusiastic for me -- but a young man can be so silly --
-Mm.
--- May I? It's so --
-Not young; he wasn't young -- gray at the temples, he -- well actually he looked like you.
-Yes?
-I know: it's ridiculous. But it's tearing me up and I don't know why. And look, all right, I came here didn't I? And if I have to, I'll keep coming here, the works, and talk about my mummy and my daddy and I'll even pay for it, but will you kindly for God's sakes say something?
-I'd just be guessing.
-Guess!
-Maybe this wasn't just a trick. Maybe you're in danger of real love, real involve --
-I do not love him.
-All right. Loneliness. Well -- separated. From other people. Forgotten. Well, as if I can be here, I can go through the motions, right? But the truth is, I don't belong.
-Don't belong?
-Do you always have to repeat?
-Sorry.
-Well it's more than loneliness. Hate. People hating me -- and watching me and following and waiting to hurt me -- you know? I'm all screwed up.
-You think people hate you.
-The truth is I hate them: they must hate me. All right, the money. All right, not the money. A kind of put-on. It gets things back together. Well let's say I'd go to one of these cattle-calls, a tryout. I mean before -- before I got this job -- and they'd always say thank you very much and i'd feel, you know, brought
-Didn't want you.
--- I have to close up now. Leave your name and number with his message service, Mrs. Daniel, and why don't you just go home and wait until he --
-No.
-Well I have to close up now.
-Look -- could I use your phone?
-Yes indeed.
-Look. I almost killed my -- I almost killed someone.
-Miss Daniel, be sensible, you find another place till we get things cleaned up.
-Oh well that shouldn't take you more than another, oh, two and a half or three years, should it?
-A few more days. We know who did this.
-So do I.
-Arlyn and Jane commited suicide. He said they commited suicide.
-Now there's a picture I'd like you to --
-You said someone killed them, you said you know who, you said that.
-Well we're pretty --
-Why isn't he locked up?
-We don't want to just lock him up; we want a conviction, we wanted him to do something more.
-Is that why Klute didn't tell me?
-I guess he figured it was better.
-What was better? I made better bait?
-No, that's not --
-Is that what he set me up for? Everything he's told me from the beginning? -- don't worry, don't --
-From the beginning I don't know why the hell he's messin with you. If he was me he'd know better. If he was even a city boy he'd know better. You're a whore Miss Daniel, that's the truth of it, right? Now somethin I'd like you to look at.
-I don't have to look at anything. I don't have --
-Oh no.
-Like for you to look for the man.
-Can't we talk together reasonably, just -- ordinarily? I know you're expecting some kind of -- extravagant behavior, but believe me -- do you believe me? --
-Yes -- all right --
--- We can talk --
--- Yes.
-You have no idea what I'm talking about.
-Yes -- Jane McKenna's book -- I could make a phone call.
-No, you're frightened, you're pretending. Well -- Klute knows about me then. Does everybody know, can you tell me?
-Yes.
-I'm not going to hurt you, absolutely, I'm not.
-It puzzles me so badly. I've done terrible things but I can't consider myself a terrible man. I've killed three people and I'd still want to say it was accident, do you see?
-If you'll let me go I could tell them what --
-Tom Grunemann discovered me -- we were here on business together, he discovered me with Jane McKenna. Then I suppose it was the -- the contempt I saw in his face and the certainty that sooner or later he'd use it against me. Within the Company. I endured that as long as I could, do you see?
-I'm sorry, I'm just frightened. Yes.
-Excuse me Miss Daniel?
-I said yes, I see.
-Oh no, I don't think --
-What is it?
-What about?
-My name's John Klute.
-You said that.
-Who?
-Tom Grunemann. He wrote you some letters.
-Gee.
-He was a research engineer at the Tuscarora Laboratories in Pennsylvania. He disappeared from there last April. I've been hired to look for him.
-Why?
-You know what I'm talking about. Miss Daniel.
-Honest?
-Will you let me ask you some questions?
-You're not police or FBI; you're just a private investigator?
-Mm.
-And you just want to ask me a few questions?
-Is it the shakedown hon? You picked a loser, I just don't have it.
-No, I'm look --
-If I was taking calls full time would I be living in this kip? I'd be back on Park Avenue; I could support the whole National Guard!
-Could I ask some questions?
-Company outing or picnic or something like that.
-A name. Grunemann. Nothing. And they showed me pictures like this and they meant nothing. Then they asked me, well had I been getting letters, from someone out there in Cabbageville --
--- Tuscarora --
-You remind me of my uncle.
-What? What do you remember about that -- dumper?
-Nothing. Except he wasn't kidding. Usually it's a fakeout, you probably know. They pretend to tie you up, and you wear a dress with a cloth belt and they pretend to whip you or you -- Hell it's their money. I'll hang from the shower rod and whistle Maytime. Except this guy was really tripped out on it; he --
-But you can't say that Dumper was Tom Grunemann.
-Well could I have them back now hon? -- those tape recordings you've got downstairs -- OK? -- and if you want you can have a good time and I'll have a good time and--
-Everything that's happened since Tom Grunemann disappeared. The phone calls and the --
-Just phone calls, right? They ring, you answer, they don't say anything, just blank. Kids getting kicks. Burglars looking for an empty apartment. I mean there is nothing that proves --
-What about the other things you've reported? -- -- being followed on the --
-Is that how you get most of your dates? Someone gives your name to someone else?
-Most of them.
-Is that how you met the Dumper? -- Someone else gave --
-How would I remember?
-How else do you meet them? Pimps?
-I have some names the police gave me. Frank Ligourin. Will you tell me what --
-Look, I'm sure this'll amuse you too. Ilia trying to get away from all that.
-Klute, tell me, what's your bag? Are you a talker, or a button man or a doubler, or maybe you like them very young -- children -- or get your chest walked around with high-heeled shoes, or have us watch you tinkle? Or --
--- OK --
--- you perverted hypocrite square bastards.
-Gee I hope this doesn't make my cold any worse.
-Tell me about Frank Ligourin.
-What? This?
--- OK?
-I thought you could trick me for those tapes. Don't you get lonely in that little green room? Or let me get you someone; I have terrific friends, wild.
-You've changed your mind? You do want to play?
-Tell me about acting -- what are you doing tomorrow -- where do you go?
-I go on rounds.
-Rounds, what are they? -- don't watch me, keep talking.
-Well do you think it was him?
-What do you think?
-Can't you get him?
-Maybe, if you tell me the things you haven't.
-You asked me where I got that date with the dumper -- Frank sent me on it.
-Do you know where he got the dumper?
-He never told me.
-What did you expect? Frankie still has a good string, three girls. Figure three hundred a week from each.
-Did you like my friend Frankie?
-No.
-Didn't he tell you what you wanted?
-It didn't go anywhere. But that's not why --
-About the dumper, didn't he tell you that?
-It was Jane McKenna who sent you the dumper.
-I thought you were going back to the apartment.
-Oh golly, oh just what I've always dreamed of, dirty phone calls. How come?
-You told me what you could. I guess I'm through with your part of it.
-Is there anything more I could --
-I don't see anything, do you?
-What're you gonna do next?
-Try some other ways.
-What do I do meanwhile? -- wait for that clown to fall through the skylight on me?
-And I don't think that was Tom.
-You said it was!
-No, I said what did you think.
-Oh -- wait -- oh I get it. You said that just to keep me scared. So I'd tell you everything I -- oh clever; oh you smart, tricky hick.
-Well --
-Hey, but did we get to you, Klute? A little?
-Yeah, you got to me.
--- Us city folks? The sin, the glitter, the wickedness?
-Oh. No. Not that way. I'd say it was more -- I don't know -- -- too bad? Pathetic?
-It's kind of late.
-Oh, don't be a doo-doo.
-Not much point to this, is there?
-Ezra, I'm lots better than you're used to. Tell me -- the other night, watching me with Mr. Faber -- wasn't your tongue a little bit hanging out?
-Mm.
-Bree -- thanks -- I don't want to.
-What's the matter hon? You were great. Terrific. A tiger.
-Thanks.
-You asked if there was anything more you could help me with.
-I've checked the records of Jane McKenna's death -- I can't get anything special. But Frank Ligourin had another girl you said, besides McKenna and you.
-Arlyn Page.
-Did she and Jane McKenna know each other?
-Frankie kept them in the same apartment: it cut his travel-time.
-Then maybe Arlyn Page knew the Dumper too.
-Arlyn had a very big habit - heroin - she's the one who started Frank. She's strung out now; you won't find her.
-You could help me find her. You know the people. I'll pay you a hundred dollars.
-I can make that in a lunch break! Look, Hiram, you're sure it isn't just me? -- you decided you liked it, after all, the other night; you'll hang around for seconds?
-What's the matter?
-What the hell do you think's the matter. I could wait for you someplace.
-If Arlyn Page is living with Tom Grunemann --
--- Then you don't need me.
-I thought you ought to know, Arlyn Page is dead.
-How?
-The same as Jane McKenna.
-The next few weeks I would like to know where you are all the time.
-Why?
-Just let me know when you are going out and where --
-What if i go out on tricks - you wanna come along? You could sit and read the National Geographic.
-How can you do it to yourself?
-I don't get you.
-Ligourin: How could you do it?
-I told you before, you wouldn't understand.
-You're right, I don't understand. Explain it to me. You were scared. Arlyn Page, that scared you. Well it should; that's death. So what did you do, you ran straight for it, death. Ligourin kills women.
-No.
-No, no you're right, I'm sorry. He uses women; he lets them kill themselves. Is that how you want it?
-Arlyn was a junkie; I'm not on junk!
-No, you can find some other way. Explain it to me. Bree, show me any sense to --
-Please.
-We did this before.
-No. Well all right. But you want to and I want you to and we both know it and all right.
-I'm still scared. I mean different but still. Look, I made it very clear from the start, you're a yokel, you don't excite me, you don't even interest me, and so I only have one question which is what the hell are you doing in my bed?
-I am scared. The things I do. The things I could do to you.
-Mm.
-Oh boy, say, you think you're pretty good.
-I saw Mr. Faber. You remember Mr. Faber, don't you?
-Yeah.
-Is that all you have to say?
-What am I supposed to say?
-Spangler says we have a relationship.
-What?
-You and I -- a relationship.
-I was wondering what that was.
-Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus.
-Oh look what he did in them.
-Listen to me: It's all right. I've been expecting something.
-My God, I thought it was over. And here I am, daddy, right back at the start.
-Bree --
-Right back at the start, right?
-Go down in my room.
-Ah, Schmendrick -- what's the scam?
-Those were police laboratory people, they've been over the apartment.
-Where'd you spend last night?
-With Trina.
-I called Trina.
-Maybe I wasn't there when you called.
-Bree, what's actually happened? It wasn't that bad.
-How do you know how bad it was?
-Why couldn't you stay here with me?
-Hey -- look officer -- I can explain everything. It was just -- you know, everything all of a --
-Please. I said I don't want you to do this.
-I got a call from Ross this morning. Cable owned a plot of woodland -- he'd go there on weekends. They found Tom Grunemann's body buried there. They've notified his wife.
-Oh. Well it wasn't us city people that did it -- your fine rosy-cheeked country boy.
-Mm.
-You're going back?
-Well suppose I hadn't come downstairs. Would you just have folded up and sneaked away?
-No. I was going to come up. I wanted to ask you to marry me.
-You wanted to, or you are?
-I am.
-Look -- yes. I mean thanks, but -- don't you think we better be realistic?
-About what?
-Look at me. I'm pretty and sort of clever and very well intentioned, and dear God I'd tear your heart out!
-How can you not think so? You know the things I can do.
-They don't scare me any more.
-What?
-Look, why should it be yes or no? Can't we keep it going and see? I mean we can keep in touch and visit each other and see. People do that, that's realistic.
-OK.
-You don't believe that either, do you? Why can't you see my side?
-Can I carry something for you, to the car? Will you kiss me?
-She wouldn't be reliable anyhow -- a narcotics addict.
-All right, suppose it wasn't Tom Grunemann; where does that get you?
-It's where it doesn't get me. I've got nothing left that connects to anything.
-Then, close the case.
-I better keep looking.
-Where, how?
-I could try Arlyn Page again. She saw much more of the Dumper than Bree Daniel.
-You just finished telling me she had nothing to offer. Not Tom, you said, the Dumper was clearly not Tom.
-I'm flying back out to Pennsylvania Friday; I'll fill them in on things.
-How is it back there?
-Sorry we had to meet here. But I'm pressed for time.
-Well there's a couple --
-I read your report. I had to go along with it -- the idea of this being a wild goose chase, Tom being nowhere around --
-Well as a matter of --
-I've been up country, you know my summer place, my camp. I don't even have a telephone there. This morning they sent a messenger out, that you'd been trying to call me.
-Yeah.
-I'm on my way to Chicago. Very important meeting tonight. Well -- any new developments?
-Yeah, two things Pete, that --
-You said Trask was arranging laboratory work. Police laboratory. Anything from that?
-Yeah. It wasn't Tom.
-I'm sorry. I don't understand.
-It wasn't Tom that broke in the room.
-It has to be Tom. You said he ripped up his own pictures, he --
-Not Tom. Whoever it was left a kind of souvenir, I told you, in her clothing. Semen. The laboratory got a blood group reading from that. The man was blood type 0; Tom was an AB.
-Some mistake perhaps that --
-No. No mistake Pete. It doesn't prove who it was -- but proves it wasn't Tom.
-You must be discouraged.
-Not too bad. This brings back that Dumper in the picture.
-That who?
-Dumper, the man Bree Daniel mentioned and Arlyn Page knew and Jane McKenna knew.
-You said he was no possible connection with Tom. The Page girl told you that, not Tom.
-Someone's been doing all these things.
-You were hired to look for Tom, not someone.
-Pete, I've got a chance to buy Jane McKenna's black book.
-What?
-Call-girls generally keep a book, you know, a list of their clients. Sometimes, if a girl retires, she'll even sell it worth good money. Jane McKenna had a black book; when she died it was stolen. I've been after it a long time.
-You were hired to look for Tom.
-I can't follow you.
-Will the Company put up five hundred dollars to get Jane McKenna's list of clients?
-No. It's ridiculous. This has nothing to do with Tom Grunemann.
-It probably has the Dumper's name. It might give us some kind of new lead. I want a look at it anyhow.
-Klute, the Company's interest is Tom Grunemann. Solely and exclusively. You say you can't find Tom; all right, I'll see that you're paid off; the case is closed.
-I can talk it over; possibly I can get the money. When are you meeting the man?
-Tomorrow evening, nine. East River Drive and 73rd Street.
-Suppose I meet you there a half hour before.
-Just send me a money order.
-Well --
-John, how are you?
-I'll be sending you on a report tonight.
-It's a beautiful day in Tuscarora - I don't envy you that humidity in the city.
-Would you like to know what's in it? The report.
-What's in it?
-I'm sure the FBI and the Police explored that possibility.
-No. They never did, really. But that's what I'm going to recommend. The next step. Unless something --
-Have you discussed this with them?
-It's in the report.
-Do they have the report? Have you discussed it with them?
-I wanted to give it to you first.
-All right. All right -- John, just sit tight will you? I'll read your report, I'll discuss it with the others. I'll be back next Thursday, we'll talk the whole thing over then. Nothing til Thursday, all right?
-All right.
-Thank you. Goodbye, John.
-I've always respected Bree. I'd like to make something clear.
-I've just got a few --
-I'm looking for a man. Tom Grunemann. Bree thinks he may have been the dumper -- that call she had two years ago. She says you sent her on it.
-Two years ago? Sorry.
-They tell me you use narcotics. Could I bring someone around to look at your arms?
-OK, a family matter. Between the girls. I had two other cows -- -- two other girls besides Bree.
-She told me.
-OK and one of them Jane McKenna -- she blows a little jealous of Bree - you know? -- Bree comes first? And evidently she knew the freak --- that he was a dumper -- she conned me into passing him to Bree, you know, so Bree'd get hurt. I didn't know. Till afterwards.
-Why didn't you tell Bree, afterwards?
-You don't tell them. That one of their own in-laws laid a dumper on them? Peace in the family. Beyond that, I don't know. All she wrote.
-I'd like to talk with Jane McKenna.
--- Usual case history -- this isn't a medical confidence, it's all of them -- broken family, lonely, confused, crummy childhood, early promiscuity, formal prostitution beginning in her teens, income twenty-five to thirty thousand a year. Oh they don't keep the money: they get rid of it, they get pimps. Why? Why do you want to know all this?
-I want to know how Tom Grunemann got mixed up in it.
-Not unusual.
-Did she talk about him to you?
-About his letters -- that's all she remembered. Quite violent material, I'd say, obsessive, a quite sick man. But that's not unusual either.
-Has she talked with you since prison?
-No. She had every good intention of it -- coming to me as a private patient, getting out of the life, devoting herself to an acting career.
-I think she's trying that.
-Klute. With a K. K - L - U -
-Are you with plant security, Sergeant?
-Town Police.
-Then how are you involved?
-I know Tom Grunemann.
-You knew the subject Thomas Grunemann. How well?
-We grew up together. Kids.
-Can you account for his disappearance in any way?
-No.
-Did he recently appear to you agitated or depressed? -- indicates no -- Did he voice to you grievance or discontent with his research work here? Indicates no. Moral or sexual problems or peculiarities? --
-No.
-Marital problems in general? Indicates possibly -- am I right Sergeant?
-Everybody's got some, I guess.
-Did he ever mention specifically a girl or woman in New York?
-No.
-But if Cable killed Grunemann why would he get you hired to look for Grunemann?
-Because he knew I couldn't leave the case alone. And this way at least he'd keep track of it. And me.
-Sounds to me you better shake him again. Put him in a spot he has to do something more -- but this time give him a time and a place to do it.
-That's a lot of people to die unknown.
-He's right you know. Waiting for the pusher, she'd tell you anything.
-That's how the other one died, you know. In the water.
-Well?
-Think this is our guy?
-I don't know. It looks familiar to me.
-But what reason could he have? What possible reason?
-Unless he was involved with Grunemann's disappearance.
-I knew Tom never wrote that letter.
-What else do you know?
-I never could believe that Tom was a split personality. I never believed he was a Dumper; and I don't believe he disappeared of his own volition; and I don't believe he's alive.
-We have some very tentative circumstantial evidence of freeky behavior, but there's no evidence of murder - there's not even a body.
-Gov, want to leave me that one. How come he got to play with this one, anyway.
-It's damn lucky you didn't have the dossier on Cable here.
-Nobody's seen that.
-Are you closing the case?
-Why couldn't you ever find out anything from the girl?
-The subject got emotionallv disturbed; he just dropped out. There's thousands.
-Inspector we understand your position; ours is a little different. We have an investment in Tom Grunemann. The Company has an investment, and we feel entitled to investigate for ourselves.
-Private investigation, you mean. Yes sir, of course you're entitled, and there's some very competent --
-Klute knew Tom. He has a great many ideas about the case --
-Yes sir, we know he --
-We'd expect him to work in cooperation with you. He'd report to each of you and to our Company's New York office, to Pete -- Pete goes there on a regular schedule back and forth, and --
-Mr. Kramer?
-Yes?
-I'm Dr. Alvarez, Judge Atkins asked me to look in on your son and prepare an evaluation sheet.
-Where is the child?
-He's in his room, playing.
-Mr. Kramer, do you ever have sex in here with anyone?
-Doctor, I attempt to conduct my social life discreetly. At the moment I am seeing no one.
-Does that distress you?
-Not particularly.
-What does?
-The prospect of losing my child.
-What do you have here, Billy?
-No. But I've been to Brooklyn.
-I see you have people there. What are their names?
-That's Kim...and this one's Thelma and that's Mrs. Willewska and this is daddy and that's Batman and over there is Robin.
-What about your mommy?
-Oh, sure. Here, this can be mommy.
-What do you like best about her?
-Lunch in a restaurant.
-What do you like best about your daddy?
-Playing.
-He hits me on the planet Kriptarium, when I steal the buried treasure from the famous peanut butter factory.
-In real life when does he hit you?
-Ladies and gentlemen...
-Ladies and gentlemen...
-Welcome to the greatest show on earth.
-Greatest.
-Greatest...
-Show.
-On earth.
-Huh?...Oh God...What time is it?
-The little hand is on the six and the big hand is on the nine. Where is mommy?
-When is mommy coming back?
-I'll tell you what, kiddo--why don't I fix us some French toast?
-Wow! French toast, really?
-You forgot the milk.
-What about my orange juice?
-When is mommy coming back?
-Soon. I told you before, very soon.
-Will she pick me up after school?
-No. If I'm not here, you go home with Thelma and Kim.
-What if she forgets?
-Uh, huh...
-You're late.
-I'm sorry, pal, but I had a meeting and--
-Okay...Same as usual...
-Billy, don't eat with your fingers.
-Well, I see the Yankees finally won a game.
-Mom, I mean dad?
-Yeah?
-Sure. Too much birthday cake, right?
-Mom, I mean dad...
-Uh huh...
-That's not the right soap. We use the kind in the green and yellow box.
-C'mon, there's not much difference--
-Mom, I mean dad...
-You get a new fence.
-I'm sorry.
-Je-sus Christ! I catch all kind of shit at the office because I'm not pulling my weight because I'm busting my butt trying to be a decent goddamn father and--
-I'm sorry.
-That's terrific. That's really terrific, but I notice I'm the one that's cleaning up this-- Oh, crap, I'll have to do this one over.
-Look, I'm sorry I yelled, okay?
-That's okay.
-It's just...I've been catching a lot of flack at the office...
-Salisbury steak.
-I hate it.
-You don't hate it. We had Salisbury steak last week and you liked it fine.
-No I didn't. I hate the brown stuff. It's gross.
-All it is is onions and gravy.
-I'm allergic to onions.
-I want a pizza.
-I think I'm going to throw up.
-There, okay? Now that's just plain old hamburger.
-Some of the brown stuff is still there.
-Then eat around it.
-No.
-Now listen to me, young man. Do you know what I had to go through to put this goddamn food on the goddamn table?
-I don't care. I hate it. I want pizza.
-Not on your life. That's it. I've had it with crap around this house. From now on, no more pizza! Get it? Starting right now you can eat real food like a normal human being!
-Owwww...You're hurting me... You're hurting me...I hate you ...I hate you...
-You're no bargain either, pal.
-I want my...mm...ommy...I want mmmy...mommy...
-Daddy?
-Yeah?
-I'm sorry...
-Daddy?
-Uh huh?
-Is mom ever coming back?
-I don't think so.
-Now go to sleep. It's very late.
-Good night.
-Sleep tight.
-Don't let the bedbugs bite.
-See you in the morning light.
-Yes?
-Ohhh...Ohhhh...Ohhhhh...
-Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite...
-Billy. This is Dr. Alvarez. She would like to talk to you.
-Objection. You're leading the witness.
-Objection.
-See. That's my name.
-It's my name too.
-Wow!
-Is this really your desk?
-Yep.
-Is that really your chair?
-Uh huh...
-Wow! That's neat. Can I sit in it?
-Did mommy ever see this?
-No, she never did.
-Are you going to get remarried?
-I don't know. I hadn't thought much about it.
-Are you going to remarried Phyllis?
-No, son. Daddy and mommy will never get remarried.
-Mom--I mean, dad?
-Uh, huh?
-What did you do when you were little?
-I guess about the same kind of things you do.
-Did you watch "I Dream of Jeannie?"
-Was there apple juice when you were little?
-Yeah, there was apple juice.
-Was there Burger King?
-Uh, uh. There was no such a thing as Burger King.
-Daddy! You're home early. Did you get fired again?
-Billy, sometimes when a mother and a father are divorced, there's a discussion about who the child should live with, the mother or the father. Now there is a man who is very wise. He's called a judge. And a judge has a lot of experience with divorces and he decides who it would be best for the child to live with.
-Why does he decide?
-Because...Well, that's what he does. He's a very powerful man.
-Like a principal?
-Bigger than a principal. The judge sits in robes in a big chair.. The judge has thought a lot about us, about you and me and your mom, and he has decided... ...he has decided that it would be best for you to live with your mom Joanna in her apartment. And I'm very lucky. Because even though you'll live with your mom Joanna
-I don't understand, daddy.
-What don't you understand, pal?
-Where will my bed be, where will I sleep?
-At your mom's. She'll have a bed for you in your own room.
-Where will my toys be?
-I'll send your toys there and I'm sure you'll get some new ones.
-Who will read me my stories?
-Your mom.
-Daddy, what if The Face comes when I'm at mommy's?
-Your mom knows all about The Face, okay? Don't worry, she'll tell The Face to beat it.
-Objection!
-Objection! I must ask that the counsel be prevented from harassing the witness.
-Objection!
-Sustained.
-Are you introducing the question of negligence here, counselor?
-Yes, your honor.
-I see. Well, you'll have to do better than that. Do you have any affidavits to support negligence?
-I do not, your honor, however--
-This is an isolated incident, counselor, unless you can prove otherwise.
-Does the witness deny the injury took place?
-No, counselor, I'm going to over- rule you on this line of questioning.
-Now then, Mrs. Kramer, would you tell the court how long you were married?
-Six years.
-And would you describe those years as happy?
-The first couple, yes, but after that it became increasingly difficult.
-Mrs. Kramer, did you ever work in a job while you were married to your ex-husband?
-No, I did not.
-Did you wish to?
-Yes. I tried to talk to Ted-- my ex-husband--about it, but he wouldn't listen. He refuses to discuss it in any serious way. I remember one time he said I probably couldn't get a job that would pay enough to hire a baby- sitter for Billy.
-Tell me, Mrs. Kramer, are you employed at the present time?
-Yes, I work for Jantzen as a sportswear designer.
-And what is your present salary?
-Mrs. Kramer, do you love your child?
-Yes. Very much.
-Yes...Look, during the last five years we were married, I had...I was getting more and more...unhappy, more and more frustrated. I needed to talk to somebody. I needed to find out if it was me, if I was going crazy or what. But every time I turned to Ted--my ex-husband, he couldn't handle it. He became very...I don't know, very threatened. I mean, when-
-Mr. Kramer, why did you set up residence in New York?
-Because my son is here. And his father is here. As a mother, I don't want my child to be separated from his father.
-Objection.
-Objection!
-Mrs. Kramer, how can you consider yourself a fit mother when you have been a failure at virtually every relationship you have undertaken as an adult?
-Objection!
-Objection, your honor. The answer is, to be generous, very vague.
-No further questions. Thank you Mrs. Phillips.
-So do I.
-Objection, your honor! Counsel is harassing the witness.
-Objection! Your honor, counsel is raising a question that is not germane to these proceedings.
-Now then, Mr. O'Connor, how long did Ted Kramer work for you?
-Eight, almost nine years.
-And did you have a close personal relationship?
-Yes...
-And how did you find his work?
-It was good. He was a hard worker, a lot of drive, a real hustler.
-Ted was a good worker. But, ah... ... after his wife left him and he was taking care of the kid on his own, things started to change. Look, I know he had problems, I understand that. I've got problems, everybody's got problems. But I've got a shop to run, I can't let that kind of thing get in the way... I guess I
-Ummm, hmmm... umm, hmmm... Well, this looks very good.. Of course ... you understand this is the worst time of the year to look for a job.
-What?! What do you mean, I don't understand.
-Mr. Kramer, nobody even thinks about leaving their job until after they get their Christmas bonus.
-Look, you don't understand. I need a job. I've got a kid and--
-There might be something at J. Walter Thompson. But... ...I don't think they're really serious. The position's been open for two months and... They may just be on a fishing expedition. I'm sure you'll be much happier if you wait until after the first--
-Call up the people at J. Walter Thompson. Set up an appointment at four.
-Mis-ter Kramer, it's... ...almost four now. It's the Friday before Christmas. Nobody is going to want to--
-Either you call and set up the appointment, or I'll call. And if I call, you lose the commission.
-Now then, Mrs. Kramer, you said you were married seven years. Is that correct?
-Yes.
-In all that time did your husband ever strike you or abuse you physically in any way.
-No.
-Did your husband strike or physically abuse his child in any way?
-No.
-Would you describe your husband as an alcoholic?
-No.
-A heavy drinker?
-No.
-Was he unfaithful?
-No.
-Did he ever fail to provide for you?
-No.
-I don't recall.
-How many lovers have you had-- permanently?
-I don't recall.
-Somewhere in between.
-Is that...permanent?
-I...I don't know...
-Whom you've seen twice in a year? Mrs. Kramer, your ex-husband, wasn't he the longest personal relationship in your life?
-I suppose...
-Would you speak up, Mrs. Kramer? I couldn't hear you.
-Yes.
-How long was that?
-We were married two years before the baby. And then four very difficult years.
-I was not a failure.
-Oh? What do you call it then --a success? The marriage ended in divorce.
-I consider it less my failure than his.
-Were you?
-I thought you might just like to know that at five-fifteen this afternoon we were officially handed the Fire and Ice account by Revlon.
-Ted, I'm leaving you.
-My American Express...My Bloomingdale's Credit Card... My check book--
-Okay, okay...What is it this time? What did I do now?...
-I took two thousand out of the savings account. That was what I had in the bank when we got married.
-Joanna, whatever it is, believe me, I'm sorry.
-Here are the slips for the laundry and the cleaning. They'll be ready on Saturday.
-Now listen, before you do something you'll really regret you'd better stop and think--
-Look, it's not your fault, okay? It's me. It's my fault--you just married the wrong person.
-Ted, you're not listening to me. It's over, finished.
-I'm listening, Joanna--believe me, I'm listening. My wife is walking out on me after eight years of--
-You just don't get it, do you? I - am - really - and - truly - leaving - you.
-I heard you, Joanna. I promise I heard you.
-No you didn't. You didn't even ask about Billy.
-What about Billy?
-I'm not taking him with me.
-What?
-Ted, I can't...I tried...I really tried but...I just can't hack it anymore...
-C'mon, Joanna, you don't mean that. You're a terrific mother--
-I am not! I'm a terrible mother! I'm an awful mother. I yell at him all the time. I have no patience. No...No. He's better off without me. Ted, I've got to go...I've got to go.
-Okay, I understand and I promise I won't try and stop you, but you can't just go...Look, come inside and talk...Just for a few minutes.
-Where are you going?
-Hello, Ted. You look well.
-How's the new job?
-Look at us, Joanna. Just like any old married couple having dinner. Who would believe it.
-I can't help but feel somehow... it's my fault. I keep thinking I could've done something-- stopped it...
-I've seen him.
-You have?
-He looks like a terrific kid.
-He is... You sat in that coffee shop across from school--
-Watching my son...Ted, I've been living in New York for the past two months.
-You've been living here, in the city?
-Ted...The reason I wanted to see you...I want Billy back.
-You want what?!
-I want my son. I'm through sitting in coffee shops looking at him from across the street. I want my son.
-Are you out of your mind?! You're the one that walked out on him, remember?
-Ted, listen to me...You and I, we had a really crappy marriage-- Look, don't get so defensive, okay? It was probably as much my fault as it was yours... Anyway when I left I was really screwed up--
-Joanna, I don't give a--
-Ted, all my life I'd either been somebody's daughter or somebody's wife, or somebody else's mother. Then all of a sudden, I was a thirty-two-year-old, highly neurotic woman who had just walked out on her husband and child. I went to California because that was about as far away as I could get. Only... I guess it wasn't far enough. So I started going
-Joanna, go be a mother. Get married, have kids. Don't get married, have kids. Do whatever you want. I don't give a damn. Just leave me out of it--and leave my baby out of it.
-Ted, if you can't discuss this rationally--
-I'm sorry...I just mentioned it in passing. I never thought he'd use it.
-Yeah, well he did, didn't he.
-Please, Ted. I never would have brought it up if I thought--
-Okay, I'm here. Now why did you--
-Ted, do you love him?
-Goddamnit, Joanna. What the--
-Ted, when we got married it was because I was twenty-seven years old and I thought I should get married and...when I had Billy it was because I thought I should have a baby...and I guess all I did was mess up my life and your life and--
-Joanna, what the hell is--
-After I left...when I was in California, I began to think, what kind of mother was I that I could walk out on my own child. It got to where I couldn't tell anybody about Billy--I couldn't stand that look in their faces when I said he wasn't living with me. Finally it seemed like the most important thing in the world to come
-What?
-He's already got one mother, he doesn't need two...He's yours... I won't fight you for him any more. He's yours...
-Oh, God...Oh, my God...
-Only can I still see him?
-Okay...I think I'll go talk to my son now. How do I look?
-Ted, will you take it easy? Revlon's not about to drop an account that represents more than two million in gross billing receipts in a small agency like this, without making us sweat. Now just relax, okay? Everything's gonna be fine.
-Hey, what's the rush? C'mon, walk me a couple of blocks.
-Jim, I've got to go. I'm already late--
-Wow!
-Jesus Christ. That's a real blockbuster. I always figured you guys had it made.
-Listen, don't let it get you down. You're going to be fine.
-Me? I've never been better. I mean having my wife walk out on me after seven years of marriage agrees with me just fine.
-Look, Ted, I'm the oldest whore on the beat, okay? Three marriages, two divorces...You're gonna be okay.
-I'm going to be okay. The way I see it, Joanna'll come home, it's just a matter of time.
-But...just in case...I mean, just on the off chance she doesn't. What are you going to do about the kid?
-I don't know, Jim. This whole thing has happened so...Pow-- like that.
-Look, it's none of my business, so you can tell me to butt out, okay? But if you want my advice, you'll send Billy away to stay with relatives for a while. Just until you get yourself straightened out.
-I don't know, Jim...
-Ted, this may sound a little rough, but we've just landed the biggest account in the history of this agency, right? And now it's up to us--that's you and me --to deliver the goods. Ted, you're my main man, and if I can't depend on you a hundred and ten percent, twenty-four hours a day, because you're worried about a kid with a runny
-'Night, Jim.
-What the hell is this?
-Murray had some ideas about the Fire and Ice campaign and he had the art department make up a few roughs... I think they're kind of interesting.
-All right, Jim. You said I was running this show, right? You said no decisions without my approval, right? Well what the hell is this? What's going on, Jim?
-Well, ah...I thought it over and I decided we're doing it Murray's way.
-Jim, this is garbage. This isn't anything like what we talked to Revlon about. None of it. You can't--
-Disappointing. It only pulled a fourteen share and they were hoping for a twenty-five minimum, and...ah...they're not very happy and...Well, the guys have decided they want to...ah, re-think the entire concept and...Look, I don't like having to do this, okay?... But...I mean, what I mean is...ah, I'm going to have to...ah, let you go--
-Hiya, Phyllis. These are the Revlon contracts. I thought you ought to check them out.
-Yes.
-Yes, what?
-Kramer, I've got to go. I've got an eight o'clock closing tomorrow down on Centre Street.
-And?
-He wanted to know if I liked fried chicken.
-Okay, Phyllis, what's up?
-O'Connor's out to get you. He's going to take the Fire and Ice account away from you.
-You want to know why? I'll tell you why... Another scotch and soda for the gentleman. I'll tell you exactly why. Because you're not his buddy anymore. Because he can't count on you to sit around the office every night until eight or nine and shoot the shit with him.
-I can't. I've got Billy to take care of.
-You dope. O'Connor doesn't give a damn about Billy. All he wants is somebody that'll hang around with him every night so he won't have to go home.
-How should I know?
-So...what's so terrible about that?
-Oh, for God's sake, Kramer. You have got to be the world's most naive human being. Murray has gone in and changed every single ad you've done on the entire Fire and Ice campaign. Every layout...Every idea...Every single thing, right down the line.
-No. No, I don't believe it. Jim O'Connor would never let anything like that happen. He gave me my shot in this business. If it wasn't for Jim O'Connor I'd be--I don't know where I'd be. He's a wonderful man...
-Kramer, I'm sorry. All I was trying to do was--
-So, naturally, you assume that since Joanna left, that would be a compelling point against her, right?
-Right.
-But it doesn't work that way. A major decision was handed down by the Appellate Court in 1969--in the case of Haskins vs. Haskins.
-Kramer--
-Now in Haskins vs. Haskins the court ruled in favor of the mother, thus establishing a precedent for awarding the child to the mother even though she previously abandoned the baby.
-Kramer...There's something I ought to tell you.
-Yeah?
-And?
-It's a very good job--too good to pass up. I'll be handling funding for the whole... Look, I... ..."like" you a lot. And you... ..."like" me, okay? Maybe if it was a year from now, maybe things would be different...
-What?
-Walk him over to Bethesda Fountain, buy him an ice. It'll kill twenty minutes.
-I've got a lot more than twenty minutes to kill.
-Tough... ...I get off duty at five-thirty. How long you been divorced?
-Three months. How can you tell?
-Mr. O'Connor called. There's a meeting with the Revlon people in the board room and you're fifteen minutes late.
-I know....I know.
-Mr. Schmidt can't have the figures on the television buy until Monday.
-No. Uh, uh. Tell him I asked for it Friday. I want it Friday. Period.
-Mr. Lombardo from packaging wants to meet on Friday.
-Look, she walked out on her own child, right? That's desertion, right? Mr. Shaunessy, I'm telling you it's an open and shut case.
-That's if we win. If we lose, you could end up having to pay your wife's court costs as well.
-Fine.
-Good. You've hired yourself a hell of a lawyer, Mr. Kramer. How old is the child?
-Look, Ted, I don't honestly think she would go to the trouble of suing you for custody of the child if she was planning on kidnapping him.
-Jesus Christ. Did you have to be so rough on her?
-Mr. Kramer, would you tell the court exactly why you want to retain custody of your child.
-Oh, Christ!
-The judge went for motherhood straight down the line.
-I lost him? I lost him?
-I can't tell you how sorry I am.
-Oh, no..
-Ordered, adjudged and decreed that the petitioner be awarded custody of the minor child, effective Monday the 23rd of January. That the respondent pay for the maintenance and support of said child, four hundred dollars each month. That the father shall have the following rights of visitation: every other weekend, one night each week to be mutually agreed upon and one half of the
-What if I fight it?
-We can appeal, but I can't guarantee anything.
-I'll take my chances.
-It's going to cost.
-Mrs. Phillips, how long have you known Ted Kramer?
-Six years. Ever since Ted and Joanna moved into the building.
-How often do you see Mr. Kramer and his son?
-Charley, my husband, and I are ...divorced and Kim, that's our daughter is about Billy's age and the children play together a lot. So, I guess we see each three or four times a week.
-Can you describe the relationship between Mr. Kramer and his son?
-Ted? They've set the court date. I just heard today...It's... January sixth.
-John?
-Good Christ, Joanna, just get the hell out of my life.
-Ted? Are you there?
-Yeah.
-Any prospects?
-Don't worry. I plan to have something within twenty-four hours, John.
-How the hell are you going to do that?
-What?! She wants what?!
-She's the mother. That means she's within her legal rights.
-You ever see her talk to the walls?
-No, but--
-Your boy is very lucky, Mr. Kramer. One inch over and it would have caught the eye.
-But I'm going to have to take some stitches.
-How many?
-Now, I'd advise you to wait outside. It'll be eas--
-No.
-Mr. Kramer, there's--
-All right, Thelma, you want to know what's going on? I'll tell you what's going on. I'll tell you exactly what's going on.
-Look, Ted, all I--
-I came home tonight. We just got the Fire and Ice account at the agency. Do you know what that means?! Do you understand what that means? It means that it was maybe one of the five best days in my whole life.
-Ted, all I wanted to know was where--
-I walk in the house and before I can say "How are you?", "Did you have a nice day?" before I can say anything. Pow she's out the door.
-OhmyGod. Didn't she say anything? She must've said something.
-Yeah, she said it wasn't any use talking anymore.
-Hostile? Me? Thelma, I'm not hostile. I am anything but hostile. But if you want to know what I am. I'll tell you what I am. What I am is, I am hurt. I am very hurt. And I just want to know one thing, okay? Just one thing ...Why? That's all I want to know...Why?
-Ted, Joanna and I used to talk a lot and...well, she told me a lot of...ah, things about the two of you.
-Things? What kind of things?
-I mean...things. Ted, Joanna's very unhappy and--
-Listen, Joanna Kramer's got a goddamn good life. She's got a husband that loves her. She's got a terrific kid. She's got a wonderful home--
-What d'you know about how Joanna felt? You went off to an office every morning and you'd come dragging home at seven or eight every night and as long as dinner was on the table you thought everything was swell.
-Two. She is getting to be a real hermit or recluse or whatever it is you call it. Thelma, do you know where I could be in this business if I had a wife that entertained or went out socially--
-Oh for shit's sake, Ted, you are the most selfish human being I have ever met. No wonder she said you came first, then Billy, then, if there was anything left over, she got the scraps.
-Then how come she never said anything like that to me?
-Maybe she didn't feel like she should have to. Maybe she felt like if you'd been paying any real attention to her to start with, maybe you would've noticed.
-Boy, you guys are really something, y'know? I'd like to know one thing, okay--just one little thing. Did you tell Joanna she should leave me?
-Y'know something Thelma--you are the typhoid Mary of divorce. I mean it. Joanna and I never had any trouble until you and Charley split up.
-Ted, divorce is a terrible thing. I know, I went through it. You've got to believe I did everything I could to get Joanna to stay. But I'll tell you something. You may not want to hear it, but it took a lot of courage for Joanna to do what she just did.
-What are you going to do?
-I don't know, Thel...This whole thing has happened so...Pow, like that.
-I mean, what are you going to do about Billy?
-I'm gonna keep him, why?
-Look, this is nothing personal, but I don't think you can do it.
-Thelma, I've lost my wife, I'm not losing my child.
-I've got enough trouble raising my own kid. I don't need another one. Got it?
-Got it.
-You're on your own, understand?
-I understand.
-You're sure?
-Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
-Lenox Hill. 77th Street between Park and Lex. The emergency number is 327-0800.
-You ever think about getting married again?
-No, not really... I guess it's different if you don't have children, but...I dunno, even if Charley and I don't live together, even if we're sleeping with other people, even if Charley was to marry again...He'd still be my husband. That stuff about "Till death do you part?" That's really true.
-How many onions does it say to use?
-Three. And add some basil.
-D'you think you and Charley'll ever get back together again?
-No. I don't think so.
-C'mon, Thel. So Charley had a little fling. So what? All in all he was a pretty good husband.
-Thel, you ever hear from Joanna?
-Not for a couple of months. The last time I heard from her she was living in San Francisco.
-California?
-She ever ask about me?
-Uh, huh...Yeah...
-What d'you tell her?
-He's okay...Thel, can I ask you a favor?
-Sure.
-Thelma, if I die--
-What?
-I didn't say I'm going to die, but if I should--
-Don't say that! I don't want to hear you say that!
-Thel, listen to me. If, on the million to one shot that I should-- That anything should happen to me. Would you take care of Billy?
-Me?! You want me to take care of Billy?!
-You heard anything yet?
-Ted.
-Uh, huh...
-Ah, Charley and I are...Well, we're thinking about...I mean, actually we're sort of talking about maybe getting back together.
-Hey, that's terrific.
-Please go away, Thel...I...I just have to be by myself for a little while...
-Ted, I just heard...
-Huh.. .Hello?
-All right, Thelma...That's it. I've had it. You can call your good friend Joanna Kramer and tell her enough is enough, okay? I mean, I don't know what I did, but you can tell her she's made her point.
-Ted, what are you talking about?!
-Don't play innocent with me, Thelma. You know perfectly well what's going on.
-Ted, I don't understand a word you're saying. Where's Joanna?
-We must go, Holiness.
-Please, come, Holiness.
-All quiet?
-Yes, Holiness.
-Where are you from?
-Kham, Holiness.
-Your people are very brave. They are fighting the Chinese. No one can stop them. Not even me.
-I worry about them.
-Mama, my story.
-Again?
-Your father had been very ill, we thought he would die, and some animals had died.
-You were a beautiful baby. So calm.
-And that day, your father got better. He named you Lhamo. "The Protector."
-I am sorry, Lhamo.
-Not the way to talk to people.
-Can I do anything I want?
-No.
-But, I am in charge.
-I do, now.
-And you have horses? You love horses.
-I do, beautiful horses. Thank you, Holiness.
-Will you buy the sheep for me?
-Where will you keep them?
-Here. We'll collect them.
-I will buy them for you.
-Can I free the prisoners?
-Goodbye, Kundun.
-You must also do something about the public meetings. I see this, memorandum circulating, with Tibetan grievances.
-You have cracked a man's skull and that crack has not healed. It is too soon to expect him to be your friend.
-We are simply respecting the terms of the Seventeen Point Agreement.
-Are you, General?
-We want 2,000 more tons of barley distributed.
-Impossible! You will bring famine down on the people of Tibet with these insatiable demands! More food, the best land for your soldiers to camp.
-The People's Liberation Army pays for all food and lodging.
-How much tea do you drink, Prime Minister?
-Why is it necessary for the Chinese to keep so many soldiers in Lhasa?
-To protect. To serve you. Chairman Mao wants you to feel that China belongs to you now.
-Plans for absorbing the Tibetan army into the People's Army will soon be finalized.
-I will not approve it.
-Then, we will begin with replacing the Tibetan flag with the flag of the Motherland.
-Dalai Lama.
-General Chiang.
-We bring greetings from Chairman Mao.
-Have you heard the terms of the Seventeen Point Agreement?
-I have.
-Do you have plans to return soon, Dalai Lama?
-Soon.
-He has been imprisoned, here in the Potala, Holiness.
-The Sera monks have surrendered?
-Very complicated, Holiness. Let me tell you current news. The Chinese have launched a deceptive campaign aimed at convincing the world that Tibet belongs to China. We sent a mission to the Chinese National Conference. Our attendance was a grave mistake.
-The Tibetans were introduced as delegates from the "Chinese region of Tibet". We protested this reference and demanded a letter rebutting it.
-Did you receive the letter?
-Of the Tibetan delegations sent abroad, all have been turned away.
-And the United Nations? Surely?
-So, we must face China and all her might alone.
-Yes. Most of the Chamdo region is now in Chinese hands. There is a report from Chamdo which makes quite clear that, unless some settlement can soon be reached, Communist troops will soon be marching on Lhasa.
-With much bloodshed.
-I am afraid.
-I want at all costs to avoid this. Do we have news from the delegation in China?
-Not yet, but the Governor of Chamdo, Ngabo Jigme, suggests we must negotiate and offers to go to Peking.
-Yes.
-Ngabo did not have the state seal. He could not sign.
-Holiness?
-Yes.
-General Chiang Chin-wu, the Chinese representative, is en route to Dromo. He is coming to meet you.
-Your Prime Ministers, support the proposal that you return to Lhasa. On the opposite hand, some officials urge you not to return. They believe you should leave now, for India.
-Oh, no. Where will he go?
-Your father had been very sick.
-He had been sick from the time you began growing in me. We thought he would die.
-Cow.
-Yes. A cow had died. One night, you stopped all your moving, and I said to your sister, "His time has come."
-Me. First break of day.
-At dawn, you were born. One eye was closed, and your sister opened it with her thumb. We gave you the sweet drink.
-You did. We washed you and wrapped you in sheepskin and took you to your father. That day the father got better. And that day, a pair of crows came to nest in our roof. I just remembered.
-I miss my brother.
-I will be back in a few days.
-How many?
-This many?
-Who am I?
-The Four Noble Truths, as taught by the Lord Sakyamuni Buddha are: The Truth of Suffering The Truth of the Cause of Suffering, The Truth of the Cessation of Suffering, the Truth of the Way which leads to the cessation of Suffering.
-I accept it. What is suffering?
-True suffering arises from contaminated actions and afflictions. Birth, illness, grief, old age, poverty, pain, death -- these are surferings.
-I accept it. What are the causes of suffering?
-I need to squeeze this brain.
-Can I save the sheep from going to the market? So they don't die.
-You could buy them.
-Do I have money?
-What do you think?
-You can't do anything real until you are Dalai Lama.
-I am him.
-May I listen to the news with you, Holiness?
-How big is Tibet's army?
-Roughly five thousand men.
-Is that big?
-No. Not very big.
-Will we be in this war?
-No. This war is almost over.
-In the Pacific Ocean.
-It is an island. American territory.
-Where is Alsace?
-What was the warning of the Thirteenth Dalai Lama?
-He warned about the future of Tibet.
-Tell me.
-I am sorry for you to have to witness this, Kundun.
-What can I do? I am only a boy.
-I need to know what you know. I am no longer a child.
-Ask whatever you will.
-The war is over. This is a time in when nations are redefining themselves.
-So, Tibet, too, needs to define itself.
-Yes. As a free country. But our attempts have proven futile. We continue to be badly outmaneuvered by the Chinese.
-Can India help us?
-India is a newly independent nation. They are struggling. India is in no position to help us.
-Britain?
-Britain chooses not to.
-And, America?
-America, we shall see.
-Quite simple. Yes. Good.
-What is the size of our army, now?
-Has anyone died?
-One country did sponsor the resolution. A land called "El Salvador".
-Where is that?
-Your prime minsters would argue that such negotiations should take place in Lhasa.
-It is unlikely. America, perhaps. There is great anti-communist feeling in America.
-At this point, the most likely result of a foreign pact is war.
-The Chinese would see such a pact as an open declaration of war.
-I am scared.
-Shall we consult the protective deities, Holiness?
-Did you ever doubt it?
-I ask them to stop, to lay down their guns.
-Land reform is underway in Amdo. The large estates are being confiscated and redistributed. Landlords are being punished.
-I have always asked for plain information. Just the truth.
-The pursuit of non-violence. Very difficult.
-They will take Lhasa next.
-The crowd will not disperse until you give your assurance that you will not attend the Chinese festivities. Many who have been invited to dine with the Chinese do not return home.
-I will not go.
-We are now accused of aiding the rebels. The Chinese said we can expect drastic measures to be taken to crush this revolt.
-Good day.
-Good day.
-Please, come in, so cold.
-We are traveling to Lhasa. May we...?
-Of course, please, this way. Your servant may use the kitchen.
-You must inform me at once if any of our people abuse the Tibetans trust and good nature.
-I have great hopes for the future of our co-operation.
-I am happy to hear you say this, Chairman Mao. I have created a reform committee to investigate grievances and we have abolished Inherited Tax, and forgiven all money owed the Government by people who are unable to pay.
-You know, I have great respect for your Lord Buddha. He was anti-caste. Anti-corruption. Anti-exploitation. For some, politics and religion can mix.
-For me, I think such a mix is crucial.
-Ah, Dalai Lama, thank you for coming so late.
-I leave tomorrow.
-I have been greatly impressed by your accomplishments. Industrial progress. Great efficiency. Your people are capable and courteous.
-You have a lot to learn about organization. How to draw out people's opinions. How to make key decisions. Train your young Tibetans. When I make contact with you, I want to reach you through a Tibetan.
-I have news. The Regent has resigned his post.
-Is he a bad man? Norbu says he is "lavish" and "willful". "How can he give you monk's vows if he has not kept them himself?"
-Well, some say. It's not for you to worry about. Another will be chosen.
-I turn you over again, today, Lhamo. One day, you will not be able to come running to us.
-But you will always be here?
-Me?
-You will always!
-Do you think I must?
-This little brother was terribly sweet. When he died, my mother was so sad. A lama said to her, before the little brother was laid out for burial, take a bit of butter and rub a spot on his skin. He will come back to you, you will see. So, my mother did this, and a few years later, a new boy was born.
-Does he have the spot?
-He does, a little spot where the butter had been.
-Is that a true story, or pretend?
-What do you think?
-True.
-What does the butter spot feel like?
-I'm on a big mountain and hitting at the bad men.
-And after the game, we're going to trade. You just stay over there, no, there!, Norbu, and I will shoot at you. I want your land. I take it. I am stronger.
-I have more men.
-Things change, Kundun.
-She carried a basket in her arms, a big, heavy basket, and the old monk cautiously approached. She opened her basket and showed what she had. Heads. Human heads. Only the heads.
-Is that true or pretend?
-It is a story, you decide.
-Pretend.
-I want to go down there.
-You can only go with attendants and a big ceremony.
-I want to run down the street. I want to buy a toy. Eat from the shops.
-You cannot.
-I want to be a shepherd, taking those goats and cows out to the hillside.
-But you are not a shepherd, you are the Dalai Lama.
-Maybe in the next life, the world will not need a Dalai Lama.
-We have enemies.
-The Chinese.
-Yes.
-This is Britain.
-Ahh.
-This is Tibet. And this is China.
-Why is this? What is happening? Tell me!
-The people want you made Dalai Lama.
-Then, I am lucky. I am still too young.
-These are dangerous times. They want the Dalai Lama to lead them.
-But, I have no experience.
-You will not come?
-No, Holiness.
-Am I running away?
-You must study very hard, do not neglect the holy things during this time.
-I will miss you.
-We have had fun, you and I. Fun for a little boy in an old palace.
-We have.
-You have grown up very good.
-Tell me.
-They think they have convinced me. They think I am on their side. They have allowed me to leave Kumbum and come to Lhasa believing that I will try to turn you to their ways. If I do not succeed, I am to eliminate you.
-You, kill me?
-Don't eat all those sweets. You'll get sick.
-Do you remember the day I came to your monastery, when I was a baby? And you comforted me?
-I do.
-I remember, too, actually. I was frightened then. I am frightened now.
-The Chinese have one goal. The complete dissolution of our nation. The destruction of our culture. There is no room for Buddha in their world. Our only hope is to fight.
-We cannot.
-This is not a fight to put bread just in one's own mouth. This is a fight for Tibet.
-Buddha teaches that we must learn from our enemy. We have compassion for all people.
-You are in great danger. The Dalai Lama cannot fall into Chinese hands. You must flee.
-How could I ever leave?
-Taktra Rinpoche, I understand there was an attempt on your life.
-It is possible, Holiness.
-You are unharmed?
-Completely.
-If we agree that we are part of China, nothing else will matter. Not trade, not defense. We will be lost.
-What should I do about my doubt, Teacher?
-It is a difficult situation.
-I mean, my doubt. Why me? Am I Him?
-Did you love your husband, before you married?
-I did not know him before I married him. I loved his brother, but then, I married his brother, too. He is dead now.
-Hmm.
-The land has stayed in the family. We work together. The nobleman is not too bad.
-No.
-Too young?
-Much too young.
-Look for a strong woman, not too occupied with her beauty. Look for a woman who keeps her hands busy. Look for a kind heart.
-Like my mother.
-Mrs. Bickerman, the reason we're up here... a man was fatally attacked yesterday by some animal in this lake. Do you know how your husband died?
-You killed him.
-He just <u>appeared</u>. You have no idea how he arrived in this lake?
-You can't take a cow by eminent domain.
-We won't let him get hurt, Ma'am.
-Oh, my husband passed away almost two years ago.
-My department doesn't have any record of that, Mrs. Bickerman.
-And how would you have accomplished this, Ma'am?
-I haven't broken any laws.
-Oh, but you <u>have</u>, Ma'am. You lied to us, that could be obstruction of justice. A man's been killed in part 'cause of your silence, I could make out a charge of reckless endangerment and I'm sure PETA would be annoyed at how you treat your cows.
-Ma'am. Your husband, Bernie. You didn't, by any chance, lead him to the lake blindfolded?
-Ma'am, how could you not report this? He puts human life at risk and--
-Murders and rapes in the cities. People bomb planes... can the police stop them? <u>No</u>. But feed one little cow to a crocodile...
-You're to wait right here until the police show, you're under full house arrest.
-I'll sue you.
-You're a beautiful woman.
-Thank you.
-It seems like we're getting lower.
-It happens when I land.
-Why are we landing?
-'Cause this is the cove he obviously lives in.
-C'mon Hector. I know you're crazy but you can't--
-<u>Please</u>. I'll have sex with you, anything, but get out of the water.
-I might get a shot.
-<u>No</u>. If you don't kill him instantly, I'm dead and you'll only kill him instantly if you get his brain, which is about the size of a cherry. And even if you <u>were</u> on target, a bullet might not penetrate his hide.
-Go!!!
---<u>Who</u> <u>is</u> <u>he</u>?
-I'll need any and all topographic studies.
-Wait just a second. You don't just fly in here and start barking orders.
-They've been migrating north, Kelly, this lake connects to the ocean,--
-Mr. Cyr!
-I really don't mean to be discourteous. But how is it a person could come to believe that a crocodile is in New England?
-They have saltwater glands, they can swim across oceans, it's only a matter of time.
-And what would he do come winter?
-Around here. Yeah.
-We'd only just met.
-Well, you've got a croc alright, they're keystone species.
-Keystone what?
-We are here on official business.
-Cocktail?
-<u>No</u>!! What's with digging the holes?
-They come on land and they're brazen. They're also attracted to noise, you can see I make a lot of it.
-Could <u>she</u> stay, we've tentatively scheduled intercourse.
-You listen to me. The only reason I'm letting you be part of this is 'cause you got the helicopter and the radar--
-And you like me.
-I do <u>not</u> like you.
-Jesus Christ!!
-What the hell are you doing?!!
-What are <u>you</u> doing?!
-You're crawling around like a--
-I'm laying a spring trap!
-A spring trap!
-I keep telling you, they <u>can</u> come on land, I don't wanna wake up in the middle of the night--
-I coulda shot you, you--
-Again, I don't mean to be annoying with my questions. But if it <u>is</u> a crocodile which I don't think it is. And if they <u>do</u> charge these baby hatchling sounds... why exactly would you want to be underwater at the time? With you it makes sense.
-They don't really attack underwater and--
-That "Walt" guy got hit underwater--
-Again. Not to be disruptive. Do we have a problem with it dying?
-Is this a trick?
-I brought a pork chop, maybe we could hang it around your neck for luck.
-Was he a good man?
-Yup.
-His head was just... bitten off.
-This is a setback.
-Promise you won't kill me, first.
-Asia? How... how could he get here?
-Maybe he doesn't play well with others.
-Is everything a big fucking joke to you?
-What's that?
-Just spit him back out. Some shall live, some shall die, arbitrarily, sound like any higher power we know?
-He didn't eat the kid cause he'd just swallowed a bear.
-Sobek. Half man, half croc, oldest God--
-I'm tired, Hector. I know this because you're beginning to not bug me.
-That <u>sounds</u> good but underneath it's hurtful. Nightcap?
-I can arrest you!!
-Then do it!!
-You probably <u>do</u> want to be killed by it, that was you trying to meet your maker.
-Gee, that would really disappoint me.
-No!
-I just have this feeling everything's totally safe.
-Where is he?!
-At school they'd always say "go" first.
-Get your big gun and guard the shore. Hector. Go to your tent.
-He never said "go".
-This time, <u>I'm</u> gonna kick your ass.
-Bastard bit my chopper.
-Let's not overlook he didn't eat me, maybe--
-Well, you can try talking them into that, if--
-I have enough flaxedil with me to put him out. And I think I know a way to--
-<u>Forget</u> <u>it</u>.
-No way.
-So maybe Wildlife will try to save him, they're more equipped to--
-And again. How would you get him on land?
-Keep enough tension to hold him up, Hector, we don't know if he can swim.
-Right.
-The more he thrashes, the better.
-You ready on shore?
-I got something on the screen.
-Where? Where?
-Thirty meters or so. Moving slow, but straight toward Elsie.
-Can you confirm visually or just radar?
-Radar, he's underwater. But he's definitely coming.
-Almost here, Hector. Don't forget to lift up the cow.
-Thank you, Jack.
-Where is he?
-<u>No</u>. Look. He's got nothing left.
-You take care.
-You talk to Bickerman?
-She didn't tell us about the other croc 'cause she was afraid we'd blow it's head off.
-Women's intuition. Are there anymore?
-Hector. The big one has no sense of humor. And since <u>he's</u> the one who decides whether you get to play, try not to be your obnoxious self.
-If he's here, I'll find him. Did she tell you we had sex together?
-I never had sex with you!
-But they're nighttime hunters, Hector, he'd probably be on land now anyway.
-'Cept he wasn't before, was he? You know, when friends or family members say things, they tend not to register so sometimes it helps to hear it from a total stranger. You're fat.
-None of us actually <u>saw</u> anything. I realize this Sir, but something flipped us over, I doubt very much it was a mink.
-Such the flirt.
-You <u>should</u> take a flax pole.
-And what if I tranq him Kelly? He drowns. You think about that?
-Two years married, divorced, used to be a lawyer, quit, I'm still waiting on his sperm count.
-What? Oh as <u>if</u> I'm interested.
-He was an Indo-pacific.
-Are you sure?
-<u>Jack</u>!
-<u>Did</u> you want to be killed by it?
-You think I'm <u>that</u> nuts?
-Hector. What you just did... there was at least some sort of a death wish going on.
-Nothing's real.
-Excuse me?
-With crocodiles... everything's even.
-I'm no psychiatrist. But I would think there have to be better places to look for autonomy, than--
-I'm an empty man, Kelly, wealth has robbed me of the dream in life, I sit here broken, a hollow sack--
-Didn't even <u>sound</u> good?
-No.
-Eh. Fuck it.
-Can I tell them you won't go back in the water?
-What?
-They're not going to be able to snag him in pitmans. Tranq him in water, he drowns.
-They could try to tranq him on land.
-And how would we neutralize him?
-I'm okay.
-You're gonna be okay.
-Guess I finally got bit.
-He's gonna live?
-Yeah. Thanks to you.
-Kelly Scott.
-Jack Wells. A museum sent you?
-Did you make anything of the tooth?
-Excuse me. One other thing, it's a <u>small</u> point, but... I have a thing about being humored, and I'm feeling humored, more by <u>him</u>, but you seemed quick to join in.
-How big do the bears get?
-Big but... a bear couldn't do that to a moose or man in <u>water</u>. On <u>land</u> maybe. But...
-And they're sure he didn't get tangled under the outboard somehow?
-It really is beautiful, isn't it?
-Never been to Maine before?
-Why are you here? Really.
-I <u>told</u> you.
-The Museum of Natural History doesn't send out investigators to--
-How would <u>you</u> know, what--
-And even if they <u>did</u>, I doubt <u>he</u> or <u>she</u> would have problems with <u>tents</u>.
-So I don't like tents, why--
-I'm not making it up.
-Well. You don't have to <u>stay</u> out <u>here</u>, why don't--
-Oh my God.
-What?
-If this is who I <u>think</u> it is. It <u>is</u>.
-Who?
-In Maine?
-Same thing from Fish And Game.
-<u>Something's</u> in that water.
-Baby crocs?
-Adult males will charge hatchlings. If there's one out there...
-If one could be out there... why does Fish And Game tell me it's impossible?
-He could be right there and you wouldn't see him.
-What are you doing?
-Listen, uh... Hank and I think it best if you stay on shore.
-I beg your pardon?
-Whatever's out there <u>did</u> flip over a canoe--
-I am <u>not</u> staying on shore.
-It's too dangerous for--
-I didn't fly up here to roast marshmallows--
-You flew up here because your boss--
-That was an awful thing to say to me.
-Okay. We're up at six.
-Good.
-He thinks they're what?
-They respond pretty quick. I'll wait till you get down before I turn it on.
-Good. See ya soon.
-You okay? Kelly?
-Yeah. Nobody saw <u>anything</u>?
-No. U.S. Wildlife is on their way.
-That's probably good.
-<u>Are</u> you okay?
-Hard to believe there could be a monster under such peacefulness.
-You know they say the brain confuses fear for passion.
-Excuse me?
-When you get scared, the brain releases a chemical, same chemical it releases when somebody's... in high school, the thing to do was to take the girl to a scary movie.
-What are you talking about?
-I'm saying between the moonlight, a beautiful lake <u>and</u> a monster that bites heads off... you look good.
-Gee, that was so poetic, Jack. I'm all moist.
-Forgive me for trying to be nice.
-Nice? Nice would be "you look pretty," nice is not some man- eating monster has tricked my brain into making you look good.
-I didn't say it like that.
-You <u>did</u>, you--
-I was trying to pay you a compliment, I was guising it as science 'cause I know you're comfortable in that arena. Science.
-A man just died, you're hitting on me with science.
-Why he's that <u>big</u>, I don't know. Why he's <u>here</u>... the wetlands are being developed, crocodiles are moving. Australia, Fiji, the things have started to cross oceans.
-Like little children. You okay?
-Yeah. I got some stuff for your cut.
-I couldn't believe... did you see the size of that thing's mouth?
-I wonder if he's some kind of mutant. That bear had to be surprised.
-Sorry.
-<u>Ow</u>. Shit.
-Just gotta pull it a little tighter.
-Who taught you be be a nurse?
-Father's a surgeon. I can even stitch in a pinch, wouldn't be a bad idea here.
-No thanks.
-Keep it dry. No swimming.
-You're having the best time of your life, aren't you?
-That's why you're here. To get in the middle of something?
-Thanks for the... bandaid.
-Well. Goodnight.
-We seem to say goodnight a lot.
-I'm gonna get ticks. I know it. They're drawn to me. I got a thing about ticks.
-Ssssh!
-What?
-Thing we can lift it?
-Maybe. Don't mush it.
-I'm not mushing it.
-You're mushing it a little around the--
-Okay. Okay. Okay.
-<u>That</u> <u>is</u> <u>it</u>!!
-Really--
-<u>No</u>. I keep getting hit with heads!
-Calm down.
-You calm down!
-What?
-You wanna kill yourself, that it, you looking to commit some kind of divine suicide?
-Alright, Jack!
-Just heard from Wildlife and Florida Fish And Game. They should be here by four.
-Okay.
-We might as well pack.
-Are we crazy?
-Well...
-It can't work.
-He <u>has</u> been going after everything. It <u>could</u> work. But this is not a happy cow.
-He doesn't seem to be swimming. Is he swimming?
-He's floating. Take it home.
-He's mooing.
-Watch out!!
-Hector!!
-We gotta get to Hector!!
-He's through fighting. Look at him.
-Get him onto shore.
-Well...
-You sure? I don't mind...
-If I'm ever in New York...
-Y'know, if we didn't live in separate worlds and...
-It was... something meeting you.
-Different worlds, Jack.
-Yeah, I thought about that as I was driving... and... I haven't found somebody in my world. You found anyone in yours?
-No.
-So I was thinking... maybe if I met anybody in <u>my</u> world who was good for <u>you</u> and if you know somebody in New York good for me, we could fix each other up.
-You think?
-Worth a try. We don't wanna be alone forever, do we?
-That was... y'know if the guy asks me can she kiss, now I'll be able to tell him if you can.
-We set?
-I'm ready when you are.
-Half mile up, there's a clearing.
-You gonna dig up that lady's husband?
-What's that?
-White perch.
-Are they feeding?
-Doesn't <u>look</u> like it.
-Hank. The little cannon you brought, get it. Guard the shoreline. Otherwise, we're done. We made the I.D., our job is finished.
-You said nobody came in here!
-Get back from the shore. We know how fast he can leap out.
-We shouldn't even really be doing this.
-They won't be here till at least noon. We got a few hours to kill.
-Now I'm gonna puke.
-Even if we <u>could</u> tranq him-- how would we get him on land.
-I can't. I'll get Hector!!
-If you get a safe shot...
-I'll take it!
-He's done. He's dying.
-Thanks for your help.
-He just came up screaming.
-Did he say anything?
-He just kinda gurgled. He was pretty much dead.
-And you didn't see <u>anything</u>?
-The lake was dead calm until up he came. The tooth is in there.
-<u>There</u>? That's the morgue.
-Yes.
-Is the dead guy in there?
-That's where they keep them. You want me to bring the tooth out here?
-I wouldn't.
-I'm fine, thank you.
-Have you ever seen a dead body before, Ms. Scott?
-Well. At wakes.
-This is a little different.
-This... how long did this attack go on for?
-Seconds. Three, four.
-And this is how he came to the boat?
-Yes.
-Nobody lives within twenty-five miles, 'cept some old couple who live right on the lake. Teenagers trek in every once in a while, none have disappeared, and none have spotted anything unusual.
-You talk to the married couple?
-Not yet.
-What kind of backup do we have?
-What?
-Sorry. I'm just a little unclear as to why the Museum of Natural History would send somebody here.
-You have a thing against museums?
-I got nothing against--
-<u>What</u> <u>is</u> <u>that</u>?
-Lightweight Forward Area air device unit. Whatever's out there, one shot with this and he's dead.
-You're sort of a rude person.
-We don't mean to invade your privacy but... was he ill, was he sick?
-Was he swallowed?
-What is with this lake? It looks black and... there are no waves or anything.
-They wanted to call it Lake Placid. But somebody said that name was taken.
-The tents were sent ahead, they should already be set-up.
-We're staying in <u>tents</u>?
-I told you. Two days, we'd have to camp.
-Yes, <u>camp</u>, I thought that meant Holiday Inn, I never heard "tents", will there be toilets?
-What?
-I thought I saw...
-Hey!!
-You threw it at me!!
-With what?
-They don't believe her.
-You hurt his feelings. I think you should go apologize.
-Is this 'spose to make me take him more serious?
-It's to make you <u>understand</u> him, with understanding comes tolerance. Too bad they don't put proverbs in Twinkies, my load would be lighter.
-Why does everybody insult my intelligence, I have intelligence, intelligent people eat Twinkies.
-Was that like a homo-sexual remark?
-He may be a kook but he's also been all over the world with them. He even swam in the Grimetti with killer Niles all around him, he never got nipped.
-And that's why he thinks they're Godly?
-He said he knew it when he looked into their eyes.
-You like Jack?
-<u>What</u>? I don't even <u>know</u> the guy.
-Hector thinks you like him.
-Well Hector's a giant cracker.
-You think Jack's handsome?
-What is this?
-I'm just curious. I can never tell what women think is handsome. Is he handsome?
-Hector, Jack, we show you with about twelve minutes of oxygen left, and you're on the last tank. Time to go home.
-What was that?
-Are you alright?
-Hank?
-Are you okay?
-Hank!
-Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
-What is she doing <u>now</u>? <u>Mother</u> <u>of</u> <u>God</u>.
-What?
-If he gets close, you go <u>up</u>, Hector, don't you endanger that cow.
-They're coming right in.
-Such a simple idea and it's working. What does that tell you?
-Did you get him?
-Should I?
-I'm sure this would offend you on principal but... could we keep in touch?
-Kelly.
-Hi. Listen. Could I steal you a second?
-I had a great time last night. Again.
-That's not what you came to say.
-I was working for you when "us" started, what's--
-I know and I thought I could handle it but work and pleasure along with somebody else, it's a dangerous mix.
-Kevin, as long as we... What was that last part?
-The somebody else part?
-Yeah, that part. There's... somebody who's um...
-Oh. Oh. That's okay. Well. This uh... this probably wasn't meant to be, y'know. I mean, I'm... God, I gotta be ten years younger and you, <u>you</u>... you're y'know...
-A jerk.
-<u>Oh</u>... No, no, I'm not angry I'm not, I'm just thrown, I'm... I actually have an early lunch, so...
-It's ten after nine.
-Hey.
-Kevin. How's it going, what's happenin', family good, great, nice to catch up, get out.
-This is business. There was an accident in Maine, some guy got killed by something in a lake. Probably a bear, but... they found a tooth.
-A tooth?
-A tooth they say couldn't have come from any bear. They say it looks prehistoric. Like maybe a dinosaur.
-Oh, well then I'm sure that's it, he got killed by a dinosaur, anything else?
-Sorry?
-I'm sure it's nothing, but you're a paleontologist, this is what we do, I--
-This is what we do?
-I'd like you to check out this lake. See--
-Are you on drugs?
-Kelly--
-I'm not going to Maine, I won't even go west of Forty-third Street--
-Part of our research--
-I'm not even a field person.
-This was Myra's idea, wasn't it? Get me out of the office for a few days, until--
-It has nothing to do with--
-I never do field work and even if I did, <u>Maine</u>, to look at a tooth of a <u>dinosaur</u> who bit somebody, couldn't you dream up something--
-<u>Kelly</u>--
-What do you expect, mugging me from behind?
-I <u>tapped</u> you.
-Well you <u>shouldn't</u> have. How did you even know where I was.
-Wild guess.
-I don't like to be scared, Myra, I have a thing about fright, don't ever scare me.
-Kevin told me you were upset.
-Really? I never realized he was so psychic, how could he detect that, did he tell you there's somebody else?
-<u>You</u>?
-It started <u>before</u> you, Kelly, I never would've--
-<u>You</u>?
-It was just a quick thing which we thought was over, and and...
-You and Kevin.
-You don't know what to say, lucky for you action speaks louder than words.
-Kelly--
-I'm not upset, Myra, okay. I just never thought of you as a y'know...
-Backstabber?
-No.
-Liar?
-Myra.
-Shitbutt?
-Damn, Clarice, how'd you make me?
-Never cock. Just squeeze.
-What'd I do?
-Phone call, Clarice. It's God.
-You missed Fourth Amendment law. Unlawful seizure, real juicy stuff. Where were you all afternoon?
-Boy, is that smart...
-Why does she keep repeating the name?
-No. He won't come after me.
-Why not?
-Clarice - you did the best anybody could have for Catherine Martin. You stuck your neck out for her and you got your butt kicked for her and you tried. It's not your fault it ended this way.
-The worst part - the thing that's making me crazy - is that Bill is right in front of me. Only I can't see him... Lecter said, everything I need to catch him is right here, in these pages...
-Lecter said a lot of things.
-"Desperately random." What does he mean?
-Not random at all, maybe. Like there's some pattern here...?
-But there is no pattern. There's no connection at all among these places, or the computers would've nailed it! They're even found in random order.
-Well, except for the one girl.
-What girl?
-Fredrica Bimmel, from Belvedere, Ohio. The first girl taken, but the third body found... Why?
-'Cause she didn't drift. He weighted her down.
-"- every day."
-Hot damn, Clarice.
-Agent Starling! Telephone!
-Get your field gear, take stuff for overnight. You're goin' with Crawford.
-Where?
-Some fishermen in West Virginia found an unidentified girl's body. It's a Buffalo Bill-type situation. Been in the water about a week, and Jack needs somebody that can print a floater. Think you can handle it?
-Jack's pretty tough on you, isn't he? Impatient...
-Sometimes.
-Wear it, don't ever leave it in your purse. Dry fire it whenever you get the chance. And do your exercises.
-I will... I promise.
-FBI, Catherine, you're safe.
-Safe, SHIT, he's got a gun! Getmeout. GET ME OUT!
-You're all right! Where is he?
-Get me out!
-I'll get you out! Just be quiet so I can hear. Shut that dog up. Is there a ladder? Is there a rope?
-I don't know! Get me out!!
-Catherine. Listen to me. I have to find a rope. I have to leave this room, just for a minute, but -
-NOOOOO! You fucking bitch don't you LEAVE ME down here, DON'T YOU - YOU
-I'm sure it's a great town, Dr. Chilton, but my instructions are to talk to Lecter and report back this afternoon.
-Lecter carved up nine people - that we're sure of - and cooked his favorite bits. We've tried to study him, of course - but he's much too sophisticated for the standard tests. And my, does he hate us! Thinks I'm his nemesis... Crawford's very clever, isn't he? Using you.
-How do you mean, Dr. Chilton?
-A pretty young woman, to turn him on? I don't believe Lecter's ever seen a woman in eight years. And oh, are you ever his "taste" - so to speak.
-I graduated magna from UVA, Doctor. It's not a charm school.
-Do not reach through the bars, do not touch the bars. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pens or pencils. No staples or paperclips in his paper. Use the sliding food carrier, no exceptions. Do not accept anything he attempts to hold out to you. Do you understand me?
-I understand.
-Dr. Chilton - if Lecter feels you're his enemy - as you've said - then maybe I'll have more luck by myself. What do you think?
-You might have suggested that in my office, and saved me the time.
-What you're doing, Miss Starling, is coming into my hospital to conduct an interview, and refusing to share information with me. For the third time!
-Dr. Chilton, I told you - this is just routine follow-up on the Raspail case.
-You're out of line, Starling, and you're off this case. Back to Quantico.
-Sir, Mr. Crawford instructed me -
-Your instructions are what I'm giving you now. Jack Crawford answers to the Director, and the Director answers to me. My God, Crawford's losing it...! He shouldn't even be on this, with his wife sick as she is... How the hell did you get in here, anyway? He gave you - what? Some kind of special ID? Let's have it.
-I need the ID to fly with my gun. The gun belongs in Quantico.
-Mr. Krendler... Dr. Lecter trusts me. Or at least, he used to. If I could just -
-He gave us a perfectly good description, and we're on it now, so we won't be needing your little novelty act any longer - or his, either. He's under close guard at the courthouse, pending a prison transfer. The next plane, Officer.
-Do you need a police escort, Starling? Or do you think you can find the airport by yourself?
-Maybe he lives in this, this Belvedere, Ohio, too! Maybe he saw her every day, and killed her sort of spontaneously. Maybe he just meant to... give her a 7-Up and talk about the choir. But then -
-Starling -
-But then he had to cover up, make her seem just like all the rest of them. That's what Lecter was hinting!
-Not to my knowledge. Privacy is a great concern to my customers. But, if you say this is an FBI matter...
-Mr. Yow, if this door should fall down -ha ha! - or anything else - would you be kind enough to call this number? It's our Baltimore field office. They know you're here with me... Do you understand?
-Might I suggest tucking your pants into your socks? To prevent mouse intrusion.
-Okay, Miss Starling?
-You're playing a piano, Miss Starling?
-That wasn't me.
-Mr. Yow? Oh Mr. Yow...? It looks like somebody is sitting in this car.
-Oh my! Oh my... Maybe you better come out now, Miss Starling.
-Excuse me, but I really do need to talk to you. This was Mrs. Lippman's house. Did you know her?
-I'm investigating the death of Fredrica Bimmel. Who are you, please?
-Jack Gordon.
-Mr. Gordon, did you know Fredrica when she worked for Mrs. Lippman?
-Mrs. Lippman had a son, maybe he could help you. I have his card somewhere. Do you mind stepping inside, while I looks for it?
-Are they close to catching somebody, do you think?
-Mr. Gordon, did you take over this place after Mrs. Lippman died?
-Yes. I bought the house from her, two years ago.
-Starling, Clarice M., good morning.
-Good morning, Mr. Crawford.
-Your instructors tell me you're doing well. Top quarter of the class.
-I hope so. They haven't posted anything.
-We're trying to interview all of the serial killers now in custody, for a psychobehavioral profile. Could be a big help in unsolved cases. Most of them have been happy to talk to us. They have a compulsion to boast, these people... Do you spook easily, Starling?
-Not yet.
-You see, the one we want most refuses to cooperate. I want you to go after him again today, in the asylum.
-Who's the subject?
-Yes, well... Okay, right. I'm glad for the chance, sir, but - why me?
-Now. I want your full attention, Starling. Are you listening to me?
-Yes sir.
-Be very careful with Hannibal Lecter. Dr. Chilton at the asylum will go over the physical procedures used with him. Do not deviate from them, for any reason. You tell him nothing personal, Starling. Believe me, you don't want Hannibal Lecter inside your head... Just do your job, but never forget what he is.
-I've read your interim memo on Lecter. You sure you've left nothing out?
-It's all there, sir, practically verbatim.
-Every word, Starling? Every gesture?
-Right down to the kleenex I used. Sir, why? Is something wrong?
-He mentioned a name, at the very end. "Mofet..." Any followup on her?
-Well? Why aren't you there right now?
-Sir, that's a field job. It's outside the scope of my assignment. And I've got a test tomorrow on -
-Do you recall my instructions to you, Starling? What were they?
-To complete and file my report by 0800 Wednesday. But sir -
-Then do that, Starling. Do just exactly that.
-Sir, what is it? There's something you're not telling me.
-Miggs has been murdered.
-Murdered...? How?
-The orderly heard Lecter whispering to him, all afternoon, and Miggs crying. They found him at bed check. He'd swallowed his own tongue... Chilton is scared stiff the family will file a civil rights lawsuit, and he's trying to blame it on you. I told the little prick your conduct was flawless. Starling...?
-I'm here, sir, I just - I don't know how to feel about it.
-Blue square for Belvedere, Ohio, where the Bimmel girl was abducted. Blue triangle where her body was found - down here in Missouri. Same marks for the other four girls, in different colors. This new one, today... washed up here. Elk River, in West Virginia, about six miles below U.S. 79. Real boonies.
-There's no correlation at all between where they're kidnapped and where they're found...? What if - what if you trace the heaviest-traffic routes backwards from the dump sites? Do they converge at all?
-Talk about him, Starling. Tell me what you see.
-He's a white male... Serial killers tend to hunt within their own ethnic group. And he's not a drifter - he's got his own house, somewhere. Not an apartment.
-Why?
-What he does with them - takes privacy... Time, tools... He's in his 30's or 40's - he's got real physical strength, but combined with an older man's self-control. He's cautious, precise, never impulsive... This won't end in suicide, like they often do.
-Why not?
-He's got a real taste for it now. And he's getting better at his work.
-Maybe you've got a knack for this... I guess we're about to find out.
-Okay, Starling. Let's have it.
-You haven't said a word today about that garage. Or what I found there.
-What should I say? You did fine work. We'll wait on the lab.
-You knew. You knew from the start that Lecter held the key to this... But you weren't up front with me. You sent me in to him naked.
-Are you finished?
-What do you see, Starling?
-I don't know. I didn't see those on any of the other girls...
-When I told that sheriff we shouldn't talk in front of a woman, that really burned you, didn't it? That was just smoke, Starling, I had to get rid of him. You did well in there.
-It matters, Mr. Crawford... Other cops know who you are. They look at you to see how to act... It matters.
-When we get back, I want you to run that bug by the Smithsonian, see if they can identify it. Maybe it's got some limited range, or it only breeds at certain times of year... You found it, Starling, you deserve the credit.
-I'm wondering if he's done that before - placed a cocoon, or an insect. It would be easy to miss in an autopsy, especially with a floater... Can we check back on that?
-The other girls are in the ground. Exhumations are upsetting for the families. I'll do it if I have to, but -
-Then have the lab check Raspail's head. Dr. Lecter's patient - have them probe his soft-palette tissues... They'll find another cocoon.
-You seem pretty sure of that.
-But for Catherine Martin, it all comes down to you and Lecter. You're the one he talks to.
-He's already offered to help... What would happen if we just showed our cards - asked him for Bill?
-He offered to help, Starling, not to snitch. That wouldn't give him enough chance to show off. Remember, Lecter looks mainly for fun. Never forget fun.
-But if he knew we have so little time -
-If we act too anxious, he'll make us wait. He'll let the Senator keep hoping, day after day, until Catherine finally washes up. That'd be the most fun of all.
-I think he means it, this time. I think he'll deal.
-What would it take?
-Transfer to a new prison. With a view of trees, he said, or even water... Can we swing that?
-State to federal jurisdiction... We can do it - eventually - but we'll never get all the clearances in time. Can you convince him a deal's already in place?
-You'll back me up with some paperwork? Then I'll try. But wouldn't this have more weight coming from the Senator herself?
-Chilton has killed her, hasn't he? That slimy little bastard! We were so close with Lecter - and now her last chance is gone.
-Are you in trouble over this, Mr. Crawford? Can Senator Martin do something to you?
-I'm 53, Starling. If I found Jimmy Hoffa on national TV, I'd still have to retire in two years. It's not a consideration. But you are... You've done enough. If I keep you out of school any longer, you'll be recycled. Cost you six months, at least. I can guarantee you readmission here, but that's about it. Now's your chance, Starling. Go back to
-Lecter is still the key, I know he is. Whatever he told me about Bill is just as good now as it was before.
-I lied to Lecter. I'll need some kind of peace offering... Can I get the drawings from his cell?
-Good idea. Meantime, try to get a feel for Catherine Martin. Her apartment, her friends... how he might've stalked her. I'm going to the other two clinics, Minnesota and Ohio. Now's the hardest part, Starling. Use your anger, don't let it keep you from thinking. Just keep your eyes on Catherine. We've got less than 30 hours.
-Mr. Crawford... can those cops down there handle Dr. Lecter?
-All his victims are women... His obsession is women, he lives to hunt women. But not one women is hunting him - except me. I can walk in a woman's room and know three times as much about her as a man would. I have to go to Belvedere.
-You heard them. I don't have that authority anymore.
-Ohio is cold ground. Picked over, ten months ago. Our people worked it, so did the locals.
-But not from this angle. Not thinking he knew her. You've got to send me!
-I'm Bureau for 28 years, Starling. I won't disobey orders, not even now.
-But I just became a private citizen. I can go anywhere I want to.
-With ID and a gun...? Impersonating a federal agent is a felony.
-He's making himself a "woman suit," Mr. Crawford - out of real women! And he can sew, this guy, he's really skilled. A dressmaker, or a tailor -
-Starling -
-That's why they're all so big - because he needs a lot of skin! He keeps them alive to starve them awhile - to loosen their skin, so that -
-Starling, we know who he is! And where he is. We're on our way now.
-Sir, that's great news. But how -
-This Gumb's a real beauty. Slaughtered both his grandparents when he was twelve, and did nine years in juvenile psychiatric. Where, Starling, he took vocational rehab, and learned a useful trade...
-Sewing...
-Take a bow. Customs had some paper on his alias. They stopped a carton two years ago at LAX - live caterpillars from Surinam. The addressee was "John Grant." Calumet Power & Light's given us two possible residences under that alias. We're hitting one, Chicago SWAT's taking the other.
-Chicago's only about 400 miles from here. I could be there in -
-Yes sir... I'll do my best.
-Starling - you've earned back your place in the Academy. We never would've found him without you, and nobody's ever going to forget that. Least of all me.
-What do you do when you're not detecting, Officer Starling?
-I try to be a student, Dr. Pilcher.
-Ever get out for cheeseburgers and beer? The amusing house wine...?
-And there's no way - no natural way - these could've wound up in the bodies?
-They live in Malaysia. In this country, they'd have to be specially raised, from imported eggs.
-They said she was just rags, like somebody -
-Stacy, did Fredrica ever mention a man named Jamie Gumb? Or John Grant? Do you think she could've had a friend you didn't know about?
-No way. She had a guy, I'da known, believe me. Sewing was her life, she was really great at it. Poor Freddie.
-Did you ever work with her?
-Oh sure, me'n Pam Malavesi used to help her do alterations for old Mrs. Lippman. Lots of people worked for her, she had the business from all these retail stores? But she was like, totally old, it was more'n she could handle.
-Where does Mrs. Lippman live? I'd like to talk to her.
-Is that a pretty good job, FBI agent?
-I think so.
-You get to travel around and stuff? I mean, better places then this?
-Sometimes you do.
-Doctor, we have a hard problem in psychological profiling. I want to ask for your help with a questionnaire.
-"We" being the Behavioral Science Unit, at Quantico. You're one of Jack Crawford's, I expect.
-I am, yes.
-That expires in one week. You're not real FBI, are you?
-I'm - still in training at the Academy.
-Jack Crawford sent a trainee to me?
-We're talking about psychology, Doctor, not the Bureau. Can you decide for yourself whether or not I'm qualified?
-Now then. What did Miggs say to you? "Multiple Miggs," in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?
-He said - "I can smell your cunt."
-I see. I myself cannot. You use Evyan skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today. You brought your best bag, though, didn't you?
-Yes.
-It's much better than your shoes.
-Maybe they'll catch up.
-I have no doubt of it.
-Did you do those drawings, Doctor?
-Yes. That's the Duomo, seen from the Belvedere. Do you know Florence?
-All that detail, just from memory...?
-Dr. Lecter, if you'd please consider -
-No, no, no. You were doing fine, you'd been courteous and receptive to courtesy, you'd established trust with the embarrassing truth about Miggs, and now this ham-handed segue into your questionnaire. It won't do. It's stupid and boring.
-I'm only asking you to look at this, Doctor. Either you will or you won't.
-Jack Crawford must be very busy indeed if he's recruiting help from the student body. Busy hunting that new one, Buffalo Bill... Such a naughty boy! Did Crawford send you to ask for my advice on him?
-No, I came because we need -
-How many women has he used, our Bill?
-Five... so far.
-All flayed...?
-Partially, yes. But Doctor, that's an active case, I'm not involved. If -
-Do you know why he's called Buffalo Bill? Tell me. The newspapers won't say.
-I'll tell you if you'll look at this form. It started as a bad joke in Kansas City Homicide. They said... this one likes to skin his humps.
-Witless and misleading. Why do you think he takes their skins, Officer Starling? Thrill me with your wisdom.
-It excites him. Most serial killers keep some sort of trophies.
-I didn't.
-Oh, Officer Starling... do you think you can dissect me with this blunt little tool?
-You see a lot, Dr. Lecter. But are you strong enough to point that high- powered perception at yourself? How about it...? Look at yourself and write down the truth. Or maybe you're afraid to.
-You're a tough one, aren't you?
-Reasonably so. Yes.
-And you'd hate to think you were common. My, wouldn't that sting! Well you're far from common, Officer Starling. All you have is the fear of it. Now please excuse me. Good day.
-And the questionnaire...?
-I would not have had that happen to you. Discourtesy is - unspeakably ugly to me.
-Then please - do this test for me.
-No. But I will make you happy... I'll give you a chance for what you love most, Clarice Starling.
-What's that, Dr. Lecter?
-Your bleeding has stopped.
-How did - It's nothing. A scratch.
-Why don't you ask me about Buffalo Bill?
-Why? Do you know something about him?
-I might if I saw the case file. You could get that for me.
-Why don't you tell me about "Miss Mofet?" You wanted me to find him. Or do I have to wait for the lab?
-His real name is Benjamin Raspail. A former patient of mine, whose romantic attachments ran to, shall we say, the exotic...? I didn't kill him, merely tucked him away. Very much as I found him, in that ridiculous car, in his own garage, after he's missed three appointments. You'd have him under "Missing Person" - which, in poor Raspail's case, could hardly be more
-If you didn't kill him, then who did?
-Who can say...? Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere.
-Wouldn't it have been easier to just leave him for the police to find?
-And have them clomping about in my life? Oh dear, no... At that time I still had certain private amusements of my own. How did you feel when you saw him, Clarice? May I call you Clarice?
-Scared, at first. Then - exhilarated.
-Ahhh... Why?
-Because you weren't wasting my time.
-Do you have something you use, when you need to get up your courage? Memories, tableaux... scenes from your early life?
-I don't know. Next time I'll have to check.
-Jack Crawford is helping your career, isn't he? Apparently he likes you. And you like him, too.
-I never thought about it.
-Your first lie to me, Clarice. How sad. Tell me - do you think Crawford wants you, sexually? True, he's much older, but - do you think he visualizes... scenarios, exchanges...? Fucking you?
-That doesn't interest me, Doctor. And it's the sort of thing Miggs would ask.
-Not anymore. Surely the odd confluence of events hasn't escaped you, Clarice. Crawford dangles you before me. Then I give you a bit of help. Do you think it's because I like to look at you, and imagine how good you would taste...?
-I don't know. Is it?
-Punishment, you see. For Miggs. Just like that gospel program. When you leave, they'll turn the volume way up. Chilton does enjoy his petty torments.
-Who killed Raspail, Doctor...? You know, don't you?
-I've been in this room for eight years, Clarice. I know they will never, ever let me out while I'm alive. What I want is a view. I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water. I want to be in a federal institution, away from Chilton - and I want a view. I'll give good value for it. Crawford
-Who killed your patient?
-Oh, a very naughty boy. Someone you and Jack Crawford are most anxious to meet.
-I was your choice, Dr. Lecter. You chose to speak to me. Would you prefer someone else now? Or perhaps you don't think you can help us.
-That is both impudent and untrue... Tell me, how did you feel when you viewed our Billy's latest effort? Or should I say, his "next-to-latest"?
-By the book, he's a sadist.
-Life's too slippery for books, Clarice. Typhoid and swans came from the same God. Tell me, Miss West Virginia - was she a large girl?
-Yes.
-Big through the hips. Roomy.
-They all were.
-Mmm. And what else...?
-She had an insect deliberately inserted in her throat. That hasn't been made public yet. We don't know what is means.
-Was it a butterfly?
-A moth... How did you predict that?
-"Plum Island Animal Disease Research Center." Sounds charming.
-That's just part of the island. It has a very nice beach. Terns nest there.
-Go, Doctor.
-What's your worst memory of childhood? Quicker than that. I'm not interested in your worst invention.
-The death of my father.
-He was a town marshal... one night he surprised two burglars, coming out the back of a drugstore... They shot him.
-Killed outright?
-No. He was strong, he lasted almost a month. My mother - died when I was very young, so my father had become - the whole world to me... After he left me, I had nobody. I was ten years old.
-You're very frank, Clarice. I think - it would be quite something to know you in private life.
-Quid pro quo, Doctor.
-The significance of the moth is change. Caterpillar into cocoon into beauty... Billy wants to change, too, Clarice. But there's the problem of his size, you see. Even if he were a woman, he'd have to be a big one...
-Dr. Lecter, there's no correlation in the literature between transsexualism and violence. Transsexuals are very passive.
-Clever girl. You're so close to the way you're going to catch him - do you realize that?
-No. Tell me why.
-After your father's death, you were orphaned. What happened next? I don't imagine the answer's on those second-rate shoes, Clarice.
-I went to live with my mother's cousin and her husband in Montana. They had a ranch.
-A cattle ranch?
-Horses - and sheep...
-How long did you live there?
-Two months.
-Why so briefly?
-I - ran away...
-Why, Clarice? Did the rancher fuck you?
-No.
-Did he try to?
-No...! Quid pro quo, Doctor.
-Billy's not a real transsexual, but he thinks he is. He tries to be. He's tried to be a lot of things, I expect.
-You said - I was very close to the way we'd catch him.
-There are three major centers for transsexual surgery: Johns Hopkins, the University of Minnesota, and Columbus Medical center. I wouldn't be surprised if Billy has applied for sex reassignment at one or all of them, and been rejected.
-On what basis would they reject him?
-The personality inventories would trip him up. Rorschach, Wechsler, House-Tree-Person... He wouldn't test like a real transsexual.
-That's enough, I think. Happy hunting. Oh, and Clarice - next time you will tell me why you ran away. Shall I summarize?
-I thought you might want your drawings back... Just until you get your view.
-How very thoughtful... Or did Crawford send you here for one last wheedle - before you're both booted off the case?
-Dr. Lecter, you find out everything. You couldn't have talked with this "William Rubin", even once, and come out knowing so little about him... You made him up, didn't you?
-Clarice... you're hardly in a position to accuse me of lying.
-I think you were telling me the truth in Baltimore - or starting to. Tell me the rest now.
-I've studied the case file, have you...? Everything you need to find him is right in these pages. Whatever his name is.
-Then tell me how.
-First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing, ask: What is it, in itself, what is its nature...? What does he do, this man you seek?
-He kills w-
-What is the first and principal thing he does, what need does he serve by killing?
-Anger, social resentment, sexual frus-
-No, he covets. That's his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer.
-No. We just -
-No. Precisely. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? I hardly see how you couldn't. And don't your eyes move over the things you want?
-All right, then tell me how -
-No. It's your turn to tell me, Clarice. You don't have any more vacations to sell, on Anthrax Island. Why did you run away from that ranch?
-Dr. Lecter, when there's time I'll -
-We don't reckon time the same way, Clarice. This is all the time you'll ever have.
-Later, listen, I'll -
-I'll listen now. After your father's murder, you were orphaned. You were ten years old. You went to live with cousins, on a sheep and horse ranch in Montana. And - ?
-Not "just," Clarice. What set you off? You started what time?
-Early. Still dark.
-I heard a strange sound...
-What did you do?
-They were slaughtering the spring lambs?
-Yes...! They were screaming.
-So you ran away...
-No. First I tried to free them... I opened the gate of their pen - but they wouldn't run. They just stood there, confused. They wouldn't run...
-But you could. You did.
-Where were you going?
-I didn't get more than a few miles before the sheriff's car found me. The rancher was so angry he sent me to live at the Lutheran orphanage in Bozeman. I never saw the ranch again...
-You still wake up sometimes, don't you? Wake up in the dark, with the lambs screaming?
-Yes...
-Do you think if you saved Catherine, you could make them stop...? Do you think, if Catherine lives, you won't wake up in the dark, ever again, to the screaming of the lambs? Do you...?
-Yes! I don't know...! I don't know.
-Thank you, Clarice.
-Tell me his name, Dr. Lecter.
-Brave Clarice. Will you let me know if ever the lambs stop screaming?
-Yes. I'll tell you.
-Starling.
-Your lambs are still for now, Clarice, but not forever... You'll have to earn it again and again, this blessed silence. Because it's the plight that drives you, and the plight will never end.
-Dr. Lecter -
-I have no plans to call on you, Clarice, the world being more interesting with you in it. Be sure you extend me the same courtesy.
-You know I can't make that promise.
-I'm not having a witch hunt here, Mr. Crawford! Our patients are decent, non-violent people with a real problem.
-Examination and interview materials are confidential. We've never violated an applicant's trust, and we never will.
-Her name is Kimberly Jane Emberg, she was just ID'd. I met her on a slab in West Virginia. And sometime tomorrow, or tomorrow night, he's going to do the same thing to Catherine Martin.
-Look... search your own records, if you prefer. You can do it a lot faster than us, anyway. If we find Buffalo Bill through your information, I'll suppress it. Nobody has to know this hospital cooperated.
-I doubt very much that the FBI or any other government agency can keep a secret, Mr. Crawford. Truth will out... And then what? Will you give Johns Hopkins a new identity? Put a big pair of sunglasses on this building, and a funny nose?
-Oh, that's clever, Dr. Danielson. Very humorous. You like the truth? Try this. He kidnaps young women and kills them and rips their skin off. We don't want him to do that anymore. If you don't help me, just as fast as you can, then the Justice Department is going to ask publicly for a court order, We'll ask twice a day, just in
-It may be that - I could confer with my colleagues on this. And get back to you.
-I won't waste your time and Catherine's time bargaining for petty privileges. Clarice Starling and that awful Jack Crawford have wasted far too much already. I only pray they haven't doomed the poor girl... Let me help you now, and I'll trust you when it's all over.
-What...?
-Yes... I did.
-Toughened your nipples, didn't it...? Six foot one, strongly built, about 190 pounds. Hair brown, eyes pale blue. He'd be about 35 now. He said he lived in Philadelphia, but may have lied. That's really all I can remember, Senator - but if I think of any more, I'll let you know.
-Senator Martin...! You can't trust Jack Crawford or Clarice Starling. It's such a game with these people. They're determined to get the arrest for themselves. The "collar," I think they say.
-Thank you, Doctor. I'll keep it in mind.
-Time, Pilch! My move.
-Of course it counts. How do you play?
-Your West Virginia specimen gave us quite a bit of trouble, but I finally managed to narrow his species through chaetaxy - studying the skin.
-I'm the one who found his perforating proboscis! Are you wearing a gun, right now? Ooh, cool! Can I see it? Can I?
-Better known to his friends as the Death's-head Moth...
-My God, you've grown up.
-We leave in the morning?!
-Yes, miss.
-Are you alright?
-Can we rest soon?
-The men of the regiment will fetch water from the lake, build fires and provide every comfort you desire, Alice...
-Though they are strangers, they are at least entitled to a Christian burial!
-Let us go, miss.
-Why didn't you bury those people?
-Anyone lookin' to pick up our trail, would see it as a sign of our passing...
-You were acting for our benefit. And I apologize. I misunderstood you.
-Well that is to be expected. My father...
-Your "father"?
-Chingachgook. He warned me about people like you.
-He did?
-Yes. He said... "do not try to make them understand you."
-What?!
-The Ottawa are gone.
-"We're a breed apart and we make no sense"...?
-In your particular case, miss, I would make some allowance...
-They buried my ma & pa and my sisters. And Chingachgook - who found me with two French trappers - raised me up as his own.
-I'm sorry.
-I do not remember them. I was one or two.
-How did you learn English?
-My father sent Uncas & I to Reverend Wheelock's school when I was ten. So we would know both worlds... though we were told only bother learning readin' & arithmetic from yours.
-And what were the consequentialities of European culture you didn't bother with?
-The Bible. Monarchy. Many wrong ideas about the government of men. My father's people already know each man is his own nation. And only he can have dominion over himself. Not kings. No man is better than any other man.
-In London those radical ideas could land you in Newgate prison. Why were those people living in this defenseless place...?
-You are right, Mr. Poe. We do not understand what is happening here. And it is not as I imagined it would be, thinking of it in Boston and London...
-Sorry to disappoint you...
-Much further?
-Mr Poe?
-What are you looking at, Mr. Poe?
-They're going to hang you. Why didn't you leave when you had the chance?
-Because what I am interested in is right here...
-Webb's reinforcements will arrive or not. If they do not arrive, the fort will fall. If that happens, stay close to your father. The French will protect the officer class among the English.
-No. I will find you.
-What is it?
-Are we safe?
-Maybe...
-In this there is a chance. If I live, I can try to free you. If we don't go, there is no powder, there's too many of them. Though my heart would keep me here, in that there is no chance. None. I can do nothing. Do you understand?
-Listen. Submit. You hear me? You're strong. You stay alive. I will find you... no matter how far, how long it takes...
-And my compliments to you...
-Will you go back to England?
-Where will we go?
-Told you to stay away from this hell hole! Why did you disobey me?
-When? How?
-My letter...
-There was none!
-What?
-There was no letter.
-The man encouraged the colonials to desert in this very room, in my presence. He is guilty of sedition and must be tried and hanged like any other criminal, regardless of what he did for my children.
-But the man is guilty of sedition and subject to military justice and beyond pardon.
-"Justice"? If that's "justice"..., then the sooner French guns blow the English army out of America, the better it will be for these people.
-You do not know what you are saying!
-I'm embarrassed to be so indecisive... after so long apart and after you've traveled so far...
-And by sea!
-You still have an aversion to the water?
-Dear Duncan, my affection is as towards a closest friend. Alice and I depend on you and respect you immensely... I wish they did, but my feelings don't go beyond that. Do you see?
-Isn't respect and friendship, a reasonable basis for a man and woman to be joined? And all else may grow in time...?
-Some say that's the way of it.
-"Some"?
-Cousin Eugenie, my father, but...
-Will you consider that?
-My God, Alice.
-One called Magua arrived.
-Cora, I adore you and, when we come together, we will be the happiest couple in England... I am certain of that. More than ever before. I believe you must trust the judgment of others who hold your welfare so close to their hearts...
-I see...
-beyond the periphery of men, staring at him.
-He knew the penalty for breaking regulations. He ought to pay without sending you to beg.
-They do not live their lives "by your leave." ...They hack it out of the wilderness with their own two hands, burying their dead and their children along the way.
-Yes. Go ahead.
-... compliments, Mr. Poe. Take her and get out.
-Your wounded should try walkin' back to Albany. They'll never make a passage north.
-We were headed...
-How far is it, scout?
-Day and a half Where did you get... the guide?
-Colonel Munro sent him. He was one of our Mohawk allies.
-He is Huron and nothing else. Why would he want to murder the girl?
-What?!
-Dark haired...
-Miss Cora Munro. He never set eyes on her before today.
-No blood vengeance? No re-proach or insult?
-Of course not! And how is it you were nearby?
-Came across the war party, tracked 'em.
-Then you're assigned to Fort William Henry?
-No.
-Fort Edward, then?
-No. Headin' west. To Can-tuck-ee.
-I ain't your "scout". And I am in no damn militia.
-Then you are one of those who would allow England to fight alone while she protects you from France?
-I owe you gratitude or I'd call you out!
-Who were these people?
-Ottawa!
-And if English law cannot be trusted, maybe these people would do better makin' a peace with the French!
-That is sedition! Treason!
-That is the truth!
-I ought to have you whipped from this fort!
-How long?
-Head for... for the white water.
-Where do we go from here?
-We don't.
-I don't understand!
-This is it, as far as we can go... If we're lucky, they'll be figurin' we can't have come this way and must've beached our canoes and headed cross land. If we're very lucky, they'll figure we went over the falls.
-Then what?
-Then we take the south rim down the mountain and it's 12 miles cross country to Fort Edward.
-And if we're unlucky?
-Any powder?
-It should be enough to remind you France is the enemy.
-What did you say?
-I said... France is your enemy. Not ours.
-Really? Do you want them to overrun all New York colony?
-First place, you started it with the French over fur-trapping claims to the head waters of the Ohio. Now you're sayin' these people have a fight on their hands...
-Will you men help us stop the French?
-You do what you want with your own scalp. Do not be tellin' us what to do with ours.
-You, sir! You call yourself a loyal subject?
-That we did. John. But the horicane is near trapped out.
-So what is it, Jack? What brings you up here?
-A French & Indian army out of Fort Carillon's heading south to war against the English. I'm here to raise this county's militia to aid the British defense.
-Folks here goin' to join in that fight?
-I believe if they set aside their law as and when they wish, their law no longer has rightful authority over us. All they have over us is tyranny, then. And I'll stay here no longer. No force on earth will keep me here... Anyone caught leavin' the fort could be shot. So each man make your own decision... Those who are goin', be
-I'll cover them from the top of the casement.
-Got a reason to stay.
-That reason wear a blue dress and work in the surgery?
-Let the children of the dead Colonel Munro go free and take the fire out of the English anger over the murder of their helpless ones.
-Our father, Montcalm, is greater than the Yengeese in the arts of war. The Huron do not fear English anger.
-So the Huron are the servants of the French? To do what the French are shamed to do?
-Magua would use the ways of Les Francais and the Yengeese...
-The red man put down the bow, picked up the fire stick and became the best warrior in the forest. Yes. It is the only way.
-Help ourselves to a few horns from your powder stores.
-A man, here, can make a run straight through to Webb.
-Yes, Mr. Poe? So?
-Many men here, their homes are in the path.
-That judgment is not more important than their right under agreement with Webb to defend their farms & families... Major Heyward was at John Cameron's. He saw what it was.
-I'll have none of that! Montcalm is a soldier and a gentleman. Not a butcher.
-Easy for you to suppose. While it is their women and children, not yours, alone in their farms!
-I didn't experience anything so surprising from Bristol to Albany as what I witnessed here today.
-And what is that?
-The Crown "negotiating" the terms of service?
-I know. One has to give Americans "reasons" and make agreements to get them to do anything at all. Tiring, isn't it? But that's the way of it here.
-You will take command of the 62nd Regiment of Foot. At Fort William Henry under Colonel Munro. I will march the 33rd to Fort Edward.
-Sir!... Might I inquire if General Webb has heard from Colonel Munro's daughters? I was to rendezvous with them in Albany and escort them to the fort.
-The Scotsman's daughters are at the Poltroon's house. A company of the 33rd will accompany you and Magua will show you the way.
-Does Webb not even know we are besieged?
-What happened to you?
-Ambush... on the George Road. This Magua led us into it. ...eighteen killed. It's these men who saved us. They guided us here...
-What a place for them...
-Might I enquire after the situation, sir, given that I've seen of the French engineering from the ridge above?
-Webb's not in Albany. He marched the 33rd to Fort Edward two days ago.
-Webb's at Edward?
-Yes, sir.
-Things were done. Nobody was spared...
-Not with enough certainty to outweigh British interests in this fort.
-This is the signature of Webb. And I know the temper of our men. Rather than spend the war in a French prison hulk in Hudson Bay, they'd fight to the end.
-I have lived to see two things I never expected. An Englishman afraid to support a friend. And a Frenchman too honest to profit by that advantage.
-General Webb can burn in hell. We'll go back and dig our graves behind the ramparts! Our mission is to fight.
-Sir!
-Sergeant! Form three ranks!
-First rank! Second rank! Present arms!
-Advance, Sergeant Major!
-Shoulder arms! Present!
-Sergeant Major!
-Sir!
-Thank you, Sergeant Major. Thank the men.
-Men are to stay in file, Sergeant Major!
-Right - about face! March! First rank present!
-We must... stop... soon. Women are... tired. You... understand?
-I understand. This is not good place to stop. Two leagues from here. No water 'til then. That where we stop. Better place.
-No. Stop in the glade just ahead! When the ladies are rested, we will proceed. Do you understand?
-"Magua understand paleface is a dog to his women. When his women want to eat, he lay aside his tomahawk to feed their laziness."
-Excuse me. What did you say?
-If Magua give women to Yengeese soldiers... will receive many gifts.
-Gifts?
-Three, four oxen... much wampum.
-Wampum?
-Yes.
-Does Yengeese Major have property across salt sea?
-Yes.
-Gold could be arranged.
-For Munro children?
-Yes.
-How much gold has the master of the Yengeese?
-What is enough?
-I must receive proof more conclusive than Mr. Poe's opinion before I weaken our defenses by allowing militia to withdraw.
-Chingachgook's of the same opinion. Taken together, that's gospel. Your fort will stand or fall depending on Webb and reinforcements, not these colonials' presence.
-We are not forgettin' Webb's promise!
-British promises are honored. And the militia will not be released. Because I need more definite proof than this man's word!
-Nathaniel's word been good on the frontier a long time before you got here!
-This interview's over! The militia stays!
-Why do hate the Grey Hair, Magua?
-Is the hatchet buried between the English and my French father?
-Yes.
-Not a warrior has a scalp and the white men become friends.
-My master owns these lands and your father has been ordered to drive off the English squatters. They have consented to go. So now he calls them enemies no longer.
-Magua took the hatchet to color it with blood. It is still bright. Only when it is red, then it will be buried.
-But so many suns have set since Le Renard struck the war post. Is he not tired?
-Where is that sun?! It has gone behind the hill. It is dark and cold. It has set on his people, they are fooled and kill all the animals and sell all of their lands to enrich the European masters who are always greedy for more than they need. And Le Subtil is the son of his tribe. There have been many clouds and
-That's where a lead bullet has torn you.
-My son has been sadly injured. Who did this?
-Magua slept hard in the English wigwams. And the sticks left their mark... Magua's village and lodges were burnt. Magua's children were killed by the English. Magua was taken as a slave by the Mohawks who fought for the Grey Hair. Magua's wife believed he was dead and became the wife of another. The Grey Hair was the father of all this. In time
-My son Magua's pain is my pain.
-Does the chief of the Canadas believe the English will keep the terms?
-Munro would. But General Webb will not send their soldiers across the salt lake. Having let them go, I fear I will only fight the same men again when I move south. And yet, I cannot break the terms of the capitulation and sully the lilies of France...
-Colonel Munro, I have known you as a gallant antagonist. I am happy to make your acquaintance as a friend.
-And I to make yours, Monsieur le Marquis.
-Please accept my compliments for the strong and skillful defense of your fortress. Under the command of a lesser man it would have fallen long ago given the superior numbers and material... mere chance has allowed me to array against you...
-Monsieur le Marquis, I am a soldier, not a diplomat. You called this parlay for a reason.
-You have already done everything which is necessary for the honor of your Prince. I will forever bear testimony that your resistance has been gallant and was continued as long as there was hope. But now, I beg you to listen to the admonitions of humanity. I beg you to consider my terms for your surrender.
-However I may apprise such testimony from Monsieur Montcalm, Fort William Henry is strong and stands.
-Honor that is freely accorded to courage, may be refused obstinacy... These hills afford to us every opportunity to reconnoiter your works and I am possibly as well acquainted with your weak condition as you are yourselves. Is Webb really en route and Montcalm hopes to take the fort by duplicity before British reinforcements arrive?
-Such as...?
-My master requires the fort be destroyed. But, for you and your comrades, there is no privilege that will be denied. None of your men will see the inside of a prison barge. They're free to go so long as they return to England and fight no more on this continent, and the civilian militia return to their farms.
-Their arms?
-The honors of war?
-Granted.
-My colors?
-Carry them to England to your King with pride.
-I am deeply touched by such unusual and unexpected generosity... The fort is yours under the condition that we be given until dawn to bury our dead, prepare our men and women for their march and turn our wounded over to your surgeon.
-Qui vive?
-France.
-Le mot d'ordre?
-La victoire.
-C'est bien, vous vous promenez bien matin, monsieur!
-Are you planning on working tomorrow?
-Well, I'll be on the golf course in the morning. Then, if I don't have any babies to deliver--
-You mind if I take a look at this?
-What do you want me to say? That it all sounds mysterious?
-These observers were doing something. A test...I think they sank that ship on purpose to cover up their mistakes.
-What's wrong?
-Dead? This morning you said he had some skin disorder.
-He did.
-Here. Put this on. You examine him.
-I'm not a doctor.
-The mask is because you think it might be...catching?
-I don't know. I've been back and forth with Narragansett Naval all day, consulting with the best people in maritime medicine, the best people in viruses...
-And?
-And they didn't believe the symptoms I described...
-Why Sixpack?
-It could be a million things, something in the air, food.... But he went on that ship and so did Williams... I want to examine the crew.
-They found this?
-No. I think they isolated him in genetic engineering. Homo aquaticus...
-Was there such a thing?
-Danakil man?...one of our ancestors. Named for the Danakil Alps in Ethiopia.
-Not exactly a big ocean country.
-Some say that's why we're basically hairless, for less water resistance, faster swimming speeds...
-But what about those scales... or that leech-like thing that bit Cobb?
-Why stop with just one aspect of marine life? Why not incorporate the best genetic components the ocean has to offer?...
-That it acquires intelligence from its victims?
-Be careful with it.
-DeJesus! A readout!
-He don't need a readout, man, he needs help!
-Doc eat already?
-I've been looking at the duty roster...at the shack hours outstanding...
-Uh, oh...I see where this is going...
-Bullshit...I was just talking to him. I saw him move.
-We're getting out of here just in time.
-It's got Hazy!
-What has?
-I thought they were your friends?
-No, it's not going through. The intercom's busted. I thought DeJesus fixed that?
-That's why there's a dead one on the ship. It ran out of blood.
-We don't have much choice... without air, the internal pressure will fall and--
-Jesus Christ...
-Can you fix it?
-No way...
-Think! Can we stop it?! Block it up?! Shut down the line somewhere?! Think!
-I hit it. But I can't see it! Can you see it?!
-Go on!
-No!
-That's an order!
-Where the hell've you been?
-Your suit, Becky!
-Cobb, Jones, I want you to do something about that damn rattle in the air system... Bowman and Sixpack...living quarters...
-Shit...
-Look at my foot, sir! This bitch put a goddamn sea monster in my bunk!
-How do you know it was Williams?
-Huh? I...uh...uh...
-You did good...
-What?
-Today...with DeJesus. That was smart thinking to get him inside...
-There probably wasn't anything wrong with his suit...
-I need more light on that, Four.
-That's great. Now let's move 35 degrees southwest.
-Sixpack?
-That was a loud one wasn't it?
-How's astronaut training?
-Why? You going to give me hard time like the others?
-No. I'm just being friendly.
-Whatever made you want to do a tour down here?
-I need electrical field experience on my resume. Everything helps... Why are you here?
-Everybody in corporate training serves a tour on the line. Sup- posed to hone leadership skills or something.
-You think I should hang around more with the crew?
-I guess I figured if I was in their shoes that's what I would've done.
-What can we do?
-Shit! He sent them all.
-They know, don't they?
-Yeah...I think they're just deciding what to do with us.
-What are you doing?
-We're on backup air.
-How much time does that give us?
-Less than an hour. It's ruptured an air duct.
-We made it!
-It hit me! Where are they?!
-The internal monitors read normal.
-Where's Doc?!
-What about our quota?
-Something wrong, Cobb?
-Uh..Excuse me sir, it's the air recirculating system, sir...
-What's wrong with it?
-...I'd really have to show it to you.
-Excuse me, sir...
-Is this a contract violation, Mr. Cobb?
-Shut up, all of you.
-No!
-Oh, God, she's out there...
-Charge set?
-I'm going inside.
-What's your air reading?
-Twenty minutes...
-Wait till you reach thirty- five before you blow your suit...
-Give me a readout, DeJesus.
-How do you feel, DeJesus?
-Okay.
-Okay, number 23's full.
-I can't tell you much about it, except that none of you show any symptoms.
-And it killed Bo?
-Two hundred and fifty-two tons of Magnesium and 15 tons of Sodium.
-Thank you, Martin.
-...as long as you know it's not in your contract.
-I know that.
-How's the weather for pickup tomorrow?
-Well, according to Maritime law, you, as commander of the Shack have the authority to dispose of the body. However, the company doesn't want you to do that.
-What you don't understand is that my crew is in jeopardy.
-But you don't have any proof at this point to assume that this disease is contagious, do you?
-I'm not anxious to find out, either.
-Beck, trust me. If the company felt that you or your crew were in any danger we would authorize an immediate emergency pickup. We could be there in a few hours.
-Do it.
-What're you saying? That we're not even going to be picked up tomorrow?
-It shouldn't be a long delay.
-But it's a delay! How long? A day? Two days?!
-Forty-eight hours!
-Made your million, yet?
-Not yet.
-You got money in this tub?
-You take your money, too seriously, Bo.
-Personal effects...
-I'm telling you, it's the suits!
-Hey, Bo...when're you going to be off that thing? I want to find out tonight's NBA scores and check the weather.
-If he had his blinkers on--
-Who else...Sixpack.
-The man is unbelievable... I say, leave him in there.
-Cute, DeJesus...Specimen cups?
-Yes sir...
-What the?...
-You read Russian?
-Bullshit.
-What happened?
-It...almost got you.
-Still bothering you?
-Itches like hell.
-No way, Mister Beck! <u>No</u> <u>fucking way</u>! We just did a full shift, you can't call Shack duty on top of a full shift. It's a contract violation!
-Listen to it for Christsake.
-So that's all you do?...
-Oooooh. Damn! Not so loud. Turn down the music.
-Yeah? How'd the kid hold up?
-"Routine," my ass! Ain't nothin' "routine" about no physical check- up 10,000 feet down...especially when we're getting picked up the next day!
-At least we get time and a half. That's in the contract.
-What's going on?
-You let him get away!
-I ain't doing nothing for that thing without something to defend myself.
-I say we should go get in the escape bubbles and get the hell out of here!
-Hey, man, you know that in Switzerland--and this country's the size of East L.A., okay?--they speak 54 different dialects? Fifty-four!
-Who cares?
-Hey, Cobb...Man, why don't you take off your shirt and pants, man? You should do that wearing what you're going to wear at the beach.
-You guys are crazy. What the hell you play that stupid game for?
-What game, Cobb?...I'm on my way to Nirvana...
-You're on your way somewhere all right...the looney bin.
-Bad as he is there's no way we can make our quota with- out his sad self out there. You just can't do it.
-C'mon, Cobb...you're slacking...
-Hey!...I feel something. It's moving! He's alive!
-It's Sixpack!
-Burritos...Enchiladas...
-Typhoon?!
-Serves his ass right to get it. Motherfucker brings that shit onboard. I hope his fucking ass rots in the sea and is shit upon by the fish.
-How'd you do that?
-Getting some food.
-Look. Water.
-How far away is she?
-Excuse me, sir...Bowman's sick. She's downstairs in the infirmary.
-The infirmary?...
-Yes sir, ain't that where we usually go when we're sick?
-We've got to get him to the infirmary.
-What are you going to do to him?
-I'm going to try to remove it.
-Bigger than DeJesus? How?
-It would explain the suction- like appendages.
-The monster appears to be a genetic aberration...
-No fuckin' lie...
-Fuck semantics, Doc! You saying its like part DeJesus, part Sixpack, part Bowman?!
-Clear for pickup.
-Hey, Jonesy, who's the best power forward in the NBA...Jameson?
-What is it?
-No...he's really sick. I heard him last night. The company will take that into consideration...
-Who were you talking to?
-Sixpack...
-How is he?
-What on earth's the matter with you?
-What's wrong?
-It needs blood?
-Cobb's cut...It was in him! It got Doc...
-What is it?
-What is it?
-The shack...
-Don't spend all day down there.
-Are you sure you saw something?
-How many times I got to tell you. I saw a ship.
-Are you okay, Jonesy?
-Tip top, Willie...tip top.
-Who's the best power forward in the NBA...Jameson?
-It saw us!
-Answer them and quit kicking me!
-My pocket. Check my pocket, will ya, honey?
-Your pocket?
-The latch is screwed up. Or the hinge.
-Bitch! Look what you did!
-What's wrong, did you miss me?
-Hardly.
-Soap is called Soap because he likes to keep his hands clean of any unlawful behaviour. He is proud of his job, and even more proud that it's legal.
-I'll kill him!
-So how long do you have to wait 'till you see a return?
-Probably no longer than four weeks.
-A month? So, my friend, what fucking good is that, if we need it in six . . . no, five days?
-How much did you part with?
-Is there something we should know about you, Soap?
-A what?
-I wanted to talk to you about that.
-Well, talk.
-When the old bastard is not playing cards he's chasing a thousand debts that ill-fated individuals owe for an array of reasons.
-The odds are one hundred to one so all we need is five grand.
-I would rather put my money on a three-legged rocking horse. The odds are a hundred to one for a good reason, BACON . . . it won't win. So where is Ed with all the bright ideas?
-At the bottom of a bottle and has been for two days; it's hit him hard.
-It's hit us all hard!
-Drachmas, I hope. I would feel safer with a chicken drumstick. They could do more harm than good.
-Ed can run fast, talk fast, eat fast, and play cards fast, but he's fucking slow when it comes to spotting the roz.
-Hatchet has a colleague, a monster of a man: Barry the Baptist.
-Twenty-five from me, Tom, Soap and yourself; a hundred grand to the pound. You don't need to count it.
-Because it's cheap like a budgie.
-Let me tell you about Hatchet Harry. Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry invited Smithy round for an explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute Harry lost his temper and reached for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a fifteen-inch black
-I don't know how you've reached that conclusion.
-Yes?
-Of course you will, sweetheart. This one, search this one. Ed finds the keys without any trouble.
-Bacon, see what we got.
-I think he's still alive. He's got claret coming out of him somewhere. What did they want with a traffic warden?
-Scarface, I have watched Scarface. You want to know how to do a drug deal, you watch Scarface!
-He'll care all right. That was going to be his money. Whether he cares about us is different. Pass your phone.
-Well?
-The traffic warden went to the morgue and recognized Dog and his lot so that put us sort of in the clear. They got no case against us because there is no evidence against us.
-Apart from those shotguns.
-What's that?
-A cocktail, you asked for a cocktail.
-No, I asked you to give me a refreshing drink. I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest; you could fall in love with an orang-utan in that.
-You want a pint, go to the pub.
-I thought this was a pub.
-It's a Samoan pub.
-Well whatever it is, could you get your man to turn the TV down?
-Like what?
-Like antiques.
-Antiques? What the fuck do we know about antiques? We rob post offices and steal cars, what the fuck do we know about antiques?
-I thought you said no staff, Bazza!
-You get the guns?
-Next time we do a job like this we gonna want more money, or we are going back to post offices and cars.
-There are no others.
-Now, stop fucking around. The others, the old ones?
-I don't know what you mean.
-There were two old guns there; where are they?
-Well you just better un-sell 'em, sharpish.
-They were . . .
-You fucking well have to get 'em!
-We made a deal for everything inside the cabinet.
-Inside, out-fuckin'-side. I don't give a shit, you get those guns because if you don't . . .
-Yeah, Bazza, what?
-All right, all right, so we can say he is good.
-Better than good, he is a fucking liability.
-And JD is his dad, and owns the whole property?
-No mortgage, no debts; lock, stock, the sodding lot . . . don't worry, I got it under control.
-Er, very nice Harry. What's it for?
-Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shot?
-Oh, you must be the brains then. That's right, guns that fire shot . . . Make sure you bring everything from inside the gun cabinet. There will be a load of guns, that's all I want. I'll pay you when you deliver. Everything outside the cabinet you can keep; it's yours.
-Oh, thanks very much. And there had better be something there for us.
-So who's the Guv? Who we doing this for?
-You're doing it for me is all you need to know. You only know that because you need to know.
-I see, one of those `on a need to know' basis things, like a James Bond film, is it?
-I hate these Southern shites.
-JD.
-Chris. You come to collect something, Chris? Should I have something for you?
-Nope.
-Can I help?
-I think I can help you, as it happens.
-Yes?
-I have got something for ya. Well, for your boy, actually.
-It's about time you give my young friends a visit, Chris. Tomorrow is the day and mum seems to be the word, and I can't have that now, can I, Chris?
-The boys had 'em. I know you like these things; wondered if you wanted them?
-Have you counted the money?
-Yeah, it's all there, to the pound.
-They were going to pay, then?
-It looks like ít, but who knows? The opportunity was there. In my experience it is best to take the opportunity if it is there.
-Mind your language in front of my boy.
-Did I say speak? And it's Mr Harry to you . . . Now don't disappoint me and chose your words carefully. You may speak.
-I'll have it for Mr Harry in a few days. I have been busy, and I am nearly there.
-Son, have a look in his locker.
-Hello, John. Nice holiday?
-I won't be seeing you again Chris; I have paid him every last penny.
-Son?
-You all right back there, mate?
-Very fucking funny. Where's what I want?
-It's in an office; I have just left it in the office. 137
-Well, you had better go and get it from the office. That's if you want to see your son reach his next birthday. Now chop-fuckin'-chop.
-What are you doing?
-Well, it's a five minute walk or a thirty second drive.
-How long has he been in there, son?
-About twenty minutes.
-Is he on his own?
-Just carrying a bag.
-It's not him, Dad.
-That should take care of that lot. We are now officially in the money- loaning business, all right, son?
-All right, Dad.
-Yeah?
-That's no way to answer the phone.
-Is that you, Dean?
-Sure is.
-What can I do for you?
-You know those shotguns I sold ya, well I need 'em back.
-Not likely I am afraid; I don't think I'll be seeing them again.
-I got the money to pay for 'em.
-OK Gary, we call each other Kenny, all right?
-Can't you pull that stocking down further, Kenny?
-Who was that?
-That was Hatchet Horrible Harry.
-Jesus, I have heard about him.
-We gotta get those guns.
-This is dangerous shit, Dean; we don't even know who lives in there.
-Listen, I don't care who lives in there; all as I know it's got to be preferable to death by Hatchet.
-I want you to search the house for bugs. I mean I want you to strip it.
-What is the point in that? Even if it was a bug they would have taken it with 'em.
-So we have a bit of a problem, don't we?
-Er well, yes we do.
-Dog, I have found the cash!
-The stupid bastards! Count it!
-Shit, Dog, there's a lot. Don't you want to do this next door?
-We're not going next door until we've flayed these dead men walking. Count it out the back. I don't want them seeing you fingering that money as soon as they walk in.
-So do you know these geezers well?
-Well enough. I have been buying gear off one of them for a couple of years.
-What they like then?
-There's one steel gate as you go in but they never lock it.
-What do you mean, never? Well what have they got it for, then?
-I must have been there fifty times, it's never been locked; they're not suspicious. Everybody who goes there are toffs. They're all into that karma crap: `If I don't harm nobody, nobody harms me' stuff.
-Is there no way they can get back to you?
-There's nothing to worry about, it's going to be easy.
-What's that idiot doing next door? We use your van. It's up some stairs this place, so we'll stick out like balls on a bulldog. Plank is going up first. There is a cage but it is never locked, is it Plank?
-No.
-
-What the fuck did you do to Fauntleroy?
-It must be this one.
-Don't you stags move or I'll kill the lot of ya.
-Yeah, one of them's out.
-My neck, Dog. That's the last bag?
-Willy, this is the last time, and don't let him know that you're here, otherwise he will be here all day, and get rid of him quick. We have work to do.
-J, what's going on out there? Get the rifle out, Charles. We're being fucked.
-Right, his leg's going now.
-And all your friends, there's a good lad.
-There is only three of us here.
-Do you want me to take his leg off? Where's the fourth?
-I mean it, there is only three of us here.
-Where?
-Out the back.
-And the weed?
-Invitations.
-Invitations?
-Yeah invitations, you know a pretty white piece of paper with your name on it.
-Well we have got about a hundred thousand pretty pieces of paper with the Queen on it. Will that do?
-All right, just you; the others can wait in Samoan Jo's next door.
-Samoan Jo's? Yon mean the pub? Hold on . . .
-Are you sure you can afford twenty-five?
-Well, what do you want us to do about it?
-What was that, armed? What do you mean, armed? Armed with what?
-Er, bad breath, colourful language and a feather duster! . . . What do you think they will be armed with? Guns, you tit!
-Guns! You never said anything about guns. A minute ago this was the safest job in the world, now it's turning in to a bad day in Bosnia . . .
-And we will just have to find out who's going to be carrying them.
-Carrying them. They could all be carrying them for what we know.
-Where the fuck are they going? To butcher a sheep? I thought this was a robbery.
-No I fucking don't! You can't make a cup of tea, Edward.
-Why not? The whole of the British Empire was built on cups of tea.
-And look what happened to that.
-That's it all done, we are off.
-You think it's a good idea taking it back to yours?
-I hope this is the right move.
-You what? What are you on about?
-Well, what's going on?
-I don't think we will take the risk for seven hundred quid.
-There's nothing in it!
-What do you mean?
-Who's this fat man, then?
-You see it's not easy to take a seat at this table; the money involved has to be a hundred grand upwards and there is no shortage of punters.
-What do you mean?
-What the hell are you doing here?
-Why, what's up?
-I dunno, but they look nice. I rather like ' em.
-Everything all right out there, Tom?
-Right as rain.
-Well, what did he say?
-You and me, Tom.
-Tom, this is our case.
-. . . What?
-Tom, don't mess around, let's go.
-I'11 meet you in the car.
-Tom?
-The only item that connects us with the crime is sitting in your car which is sitting outside?
-You got it all?
-You must be Eddy. JD's son.
-Yup, you must be Harry? Sorry, I didn't know your father.
-That is quite a raise, one hundred and fifty on my hundred.
-I will.
-You will what?
-I think I would rather just turn them over.
-I am not interested in what you would rather; I want to keep going. I am also offering you the money, so we don't have to turn them over because you can borrow.
-I need two hundred and fifty grand.
-That's if I want to see you.
-I'll see ya.
-For half a million?
-Unless you are going to accept twenty quid.
-That you, boy?
-It's Ed, if that's what you mean.
-It's pay day, ain't it?
-I wanted to talk to you about that.
-Go on.
-I like your bar.
-Yes?
-I want your bar.
-And?
-Do you want me to draw a picture?
-Harry, that boy doesn't know his arsehole from his ear-hole, or you from a hoodwink. This bar is mine, and he has nothing to do with it.
-What, and I care? Remember, you do have the luxurious advantage of being able to sustain your son's life.
-Hello, can I help you?
-All right, it's Plank. Is Willie there?
-No, I'm afraid he's not. He's out at the moment.
-Well, perhaps you can help?
-Well, perhaps I can't, Plank, if you know what I mean.
-Look, could you just open the door so I could talk without shouting?
-I can't help you, Plank.
-I think you'll find it is in your interest.
-I thought you were going to leave me out there all day.
-I didn't know you were a kebab man, Plank.
-Sorry, got to do business like this now; can't be too careful these days.
-I know. Now shut it. You say a fucking word the right knee goes, another word then your left.
-What are you doing, Plank?
-What are you talking about? I am bloody skinny, pal.
-How much did you say it was, Tom?
-You know how much it is, Nick.
-And that does include the amp?
-Not normal weed. This is some fucked-up skunk class A. I can't think let alone move shit.
-Doesn't sound very good to me.
-Jews don't celebrate Christmas, Tom.
-Never mind that now. I also need some artillery, you know, a couple of sawn-off shotguns.
-Bloody hell, Tom! This is a bit heavy. This is London, not the Lebanon' Who do you think I am?
-Jesus, if I pick them up, will they stay in one piece? Where did you get them from?
-I got contacts. Listen Tom, if you pointed them at me I'd shit myself or do whatever you said to do. Either way you still get the desired effect.
-They look nice, I agree . . . but lacking in criminal credibility, aren't they? I might get laughed at. How much do you want for these muskets?
-Sawn-offs are out, Tom; people like to have a bit mare range nowadays.
-Range? I don't want to blow the arse out of this country, granted, but I don't want anybody blowing a raspberry at me either. I want to look fucking mean.
-Of course you will look mean, Tom, you will look really scary.
-All right, let's forget about them for the time being. What about your weed man?
-You got a ticket already and, if you don't move it now, sir, we will move it for you.
-I'll only be a minute.
-Look. Go on, look.
-At what, exactly?
-My van is half full.
-So?
-What have you come as?
-Cupid stupid! That's the last time I am getting any more fruit off you Tom. Call that fresh? There was more small hairy armoured things in your fruit than there was fruit. You should open a butcher's, not a grocer's.
-If you will order stuff that comes from Kat-Man-Fucking-Du don't be surprised if your fruit picks up a few tourists en route. ~ Never mind that, what about the money?
-So, a reasonable return should be in the region of one hundred and twenty, for twenty-five grand invested. That's going on previous experiences.
-That's going on optimism.
-Whatever it's going on, it's still enough to send you on a cooking course.
-What you telling us for? The only thing I care about is whether you get your rest in.
-Tom, you're all heart.
-Oh, you assume, do ya? What do they say about assumption being the brother of all fuck-ups?
-It's the mother of fuck-ups, stupid!
-Where did you get those from, a museum?
-Well Jesus, that wasn't so bad, was it?
-What's left over?'
-Hold on, give us half a chance to count it.
-This guy Rory Breaker can afford to do the deal at the price we are selling. It's not worth him giving us trouble; he knows we would be a pain in the arse, and who wants a pain in the arse?
-I would take a pain in the arse for half a million.
-You would take a pain ín the arse full stop.
-There's six black cocks sitting on the side of the road. How many beaks have they got between them?
-Six.
-How many wings have they got between them?
-Twelve.
-How many feet?
-Er, well, twelve.
-That's right. So how many whiskers has the little white kitten got?
-How the fuck should I know?
-The money, the gear!
-That's fucked it. What do we do now? No money, no weed; it's all been swapped for a pile of corpses.
-Chill, Winston, it's me and Charlie can see it's me, so what's the problem?
-What are you carrying, Willy?
-Er, fertilizer.
-You went out six hours ago to buy a money counter and you come back carrying two bags of fertilizer. Alarm bells are ringing, Willy.
-We need fertilizer, Winston.
-We also need a fucking money counter, William! We have to get the money out by Thursday and I'll be buggered if I am counting it . . . and if you have to get your sodding fertilizer, couldn't you be a little more subtle?
-What do you mean?
-You jerk--
-Who'd want to be friends with that bunch of pachuco wannabes?
-I don't pretend I came over on the Mayflower--
-And those stupid girls who hang out with them--
-Joanie Orozco's telling the whole school she's like desperately in love with Santo Guerra.
-So?
-I don't know what the big deal is.
-If you had your way I wouldn't have any friends.
-Oh, come on, Amado--
-Just 'cause I'm not like Little Miss Honor Roll here--
-Leave your sister out of it.
-I'm only going to have you for two more years. If you decide not to go on to college--
-I can't take any more school.
---you're going to be on your own.
-So?
-So I'm worried about you. I don't want you to end up in jail like your friends.
-They're not going to jail.
-Don't try to con me, Amado. You knew how they got all those things.
-Just some rich Anglo out on the lake. Don't even live here all year.
-That makes it okay?
-They stole our land--
-How do you think you're going to make a living?
-I can fix cars.
-You can fix old cars. Mr. Washburn told me that the cars they're making now are all computerized--
-You think I can't learn that?
-I think you can learn whatever you want to. I just don't see you doing it. If you want to settle for--
-I'm not settling for anything. I like cars, it's just not a move up the ladder to you, so you think it's a waste.
-That isn't true.
-Oh, come on--you and Grandma think anybody who works with their hands is a peasant. When Dad--
-It's my life. If I want to fuck it up, that's my business.
-I said pretty much the same thing to my mother when I was your age.
-And what did she do?
-Two years at hard labor, Our Lady of Perpetual Help.
-Private Johnson, are you unhappy in the Army?
-No, sir--
-Then how would you explain the fact that out of one hundred twenty people we tested, you're the only one who came up positive for drugs?
-I'm sorry, sir.
-When you were given the opportunity to enlist, a kind of contract was agreed upon. I think the Army has honored its part of that agreement.
-Yes, sir--
-Do you believe in what we're doing here, Private Johnson?
-I-I can do the job, sir.
-You don't sound too enthusiastic.
-I am, sir.
-What exactly do you think your job is, Private?
-Follow orders. Do whatever they say.
-Who's "they"?
-The--the officers.
-Well?
-You really want to know, sir?
-Please.
-How do you think I got to be a colonel?
-Work hard, be good at your job. Sir. Do whatever they tell you.
-Do whatever they tell you--
-I mean, follow orders, sir.
-With your attitude, Private, I'm surprised you want to stay in the service.
-I do, sir.
-Because it's a job?
-Outside it's--it's such a mess--it's--
-Why do you think they let us in on the "deal"?
-They got people to fight. Arabs, yellow people, whatever. Might as well use us.
-Do you think you've been discriminated against on this post?
-No, sir. Not at all.
-Any serious problems with your sergeant or your fellow soldiers?
-Why don't you start with that?
-Yes, sir.
-You're dismissed, Private.
-So you knew this young man before?
-It's not our job to get involved in your personal life, but when it interferes with the training here--
-Sergeant Major? How is Richie doing? Private Graves?
-Out of the Army?
-He's going to lose a lung. This is not good news for Athena--
-If the incident happened the way you say it did, there hasn't been an infraction.
-Thank you, Sergeant Major.
-You're dismissed.
-Did you know he was going to be there last night?
-If I had I wouldn't have gone in.
-And you and Private Graves--
-We're not running a dating service here.
-Private Johnson!
-Sergeant?
-Report to Dr. Innis at the clinic.
-I'm feeling okay--
-I'm very happy to hear that, Private. Now you go put some pee-pee in a cup for Dr. Innis and I'll be feeling okay, too.
-You're testing me?
-You and one hundred nineteen other fortunate individuals. Put it in gear.
-Sam the Man.
-How's business?
-Business is booming. Got your drugs, got your illegals--had a shooting the other night at Big O's--Soldier got ventilated.
-I hear they're closing that post down.
-September '97, that's all she wrote.
-Gonna pull a lot of jobs out of this county.
-That the word on our boy?
-Yeah, this is Skinny.
-Skinny?
-We find a body, it's either Skinny or Stinky, depending on how much meat there is on the bones.
-Nice job.
-Male, 40 to 50 years old, five-foot- eleven, chewed tobacco--then we get into the dental records--
-Charley Wade.
-That badge--
---it didn't come out of a cereal box.
-Yeah.
-You know the popular version of how he left town.
-Everybody on the border knows that story.
-You got a cause of death?
-Skull was intact, no soft tissue left--not much to go on.
-You uhm--you remember what old Buddy carried for a side arm?
-Colt Peacemaker.
-A .45--
-He swore by it. What?
-Just wondering.
-So is Buddy on your short list?
-If it was some poor mojado, swam across at night, got lost in the scrub and starved out there, we wouldn't go any further. But this is a formerly prominent citizen.
-You got to investigate. No question about it.
-What I will do is keep names out of it till we got some answers or hit a dead end. You know how the press is with a murder story--even if it's forty years old.
-What's that for?
-Jimmy got a kitchen full of wetbacks, most of 'em relatives. People breed like chickens.
-So?
-It's your deal. You sweated it out of him, you pick it up.
-There's gonna be some left over for you, Buddy. I take care of my boys.
-That's not the point.
-You feeling bad for Jimmy? Have him tell you the size of the mordida they took out of his hide when he run a place on the other side. Those old boys in Ciudad Leon--
-I'm not picking it up.
-You ever shoot anybody was looking you in the eye?
-Whole different story; isn't it?
-You're fired. You're outta the department.
-There's not a soul in this county isn't sick to death of your bullshit, Charley. You made yourself scarce, you could make a lot of people happy.
-You little pissant--
-The Longhorns gonna kick some serious butt this Saturday, you just watch. We got a kid at tailback from down your way--outta El Indio--
-Oh. Right. And you're in--?
-Rio. BUNNY Right. This kid, Hosea Brown? Does tire 40 in 3.4, soft hands, lateral movement--the whole package. Only a sophomore--
-You still going to all the home games?
-Well, Daddy's got his box at the stadium, of course, and I'll fly to the Cowboy away games when they're in the Conference. Then there's the high school on Friday' nights. West Side got a boy 6'6", 310, moves like a cat. High school, we're talkin'. Guess how much he can bench-press?
-Bunny, you--uhm--you on that same medication?
-Do I seem jumpy?
-No, you look good. I was just wondering.
-Last year was awful rough--Mama passing on and the whole business with O.J.--I mean it's not like it was Don Meredith or Roger Staubach or one of our own boys, but it really knocked me for a loop--
-You look good--
---and that squeaker the Aggies dropped to Oklahoma-sonofabitch stepped in some lucky shit before he kicked that goal--
-Yeah, well--
---they hadn't pulled me off that woman I would have jerked a knot in her.
-You were in a fight--
-Daddy calls it an "altercation." How you doing, Sam? You look skinny.
-Same weight I always was.
-You look awful good in that uniform, though.
-Best part of the job.
-Daddy hired a pinhead to take your job. He says so himself. Says "Even my son-in-law was better than this pinhead I got now".
-Bunny, is that stuff I left in the garage still there?
-Least he never called me that. With me, it was always "high-strung." "My Bunny might have done something with her life, she wasn't so high-strung." Or "tightly wound," that was another one. You seeing anyone?
-No. You?
-Yeah. Sort of. Daddy rounds 'em up. You aren't talking about money, their beady little eyes go dead.
-You didn't--uhm--you didn't have one of your fires, did you? The stuff I left in the garage--some of it was my father's--
-You watch the draft this year? 'Course you didn't, idiot question. They try to make it dramatic, like there's some big surprise who picks who in the first round? Only they been working it over with their experts and their computers for months. Doctor's reports, highlight reels, coaches' evaluations, psychological profiles--hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they collected stool samples on these boys, have
-Suppose not.
-You kind of bought yourself a pig in a poke, didn't you, Sam? All that time we were first seeing each other you didn't know I was tightly wound--
-It wasn't just you, Bunny.
-350 pounds.
-What?
-This boy from West Side, plays tackle both ways. Bench-presses 350 pounds. You imagine having that much weight on top of you? Pushing down? Be hard to breathe. Hard to swallow.
-I think they have another fella there to keep it off your chest. A spotter.
-"I only got my little girl now," he says, "she's my lifeline." Then he tells me I can't be in the box anymore if I can't control myself. Sonofabitch don't even watch the damn game, just sits there drinking with his bidness friends, look up at the TV now and then. I do better to sit in the cheap seats with some real football
-You look good, Bunny. It's nice to see you.
-You'll get official notification when I make my decision. He is out the door--Otis pulls himself a beer as Carolyn steps back out--
-Hey, it's the General.
-Colonel. Is uhm--is Otis in?
-Come on in--
-If it's too late--
-You've been in this house for a while?
-I been here with him eight years now. He built it when he was with Leora.
-I never met her.
-Where'd he get all this?
-Your mother got a brother--Alphonse--
-Uncle Al--
-Otis stood on good terms with the man. Whenever you do something makes the news, he sends it on. When they made you General, Otis just about drove away all our customers going on about it.
-I'm a colonel.
-Yeah, I know--Man made me memorize the whole damn Army chain of command before he'd marry me. So this is a big deal, commander and all?
-It's a small post and they're phasing it out in two years, but I moved up in rank and--well, a command is a command.
-Otis went on like you were that guy who won the Gulf War. Colin whatsit.
-My mother said he never asked about--
-You weren't in here tonight, were you?
-No sir.
-Spanish in Florida called him Juan Caballo. John Horse.
-He a Black man or an Indian?
-He was part of the Seminole Nation, got pushed down into the Everglades in pioneer days. African people who run off from the slaveholders hooked up with them, married up, had children. When the Spanish give up Florida, the U.S.Army come down to move all them Indian peoples off to Oklahoma--
-The Trail of Tears.
-They teaching that now? Good. Only a couple of 'em held out--this man, John Horse, and his friend Wild Cat, and a fella name of Osceola. Army put all of them in prison and Osceola died, but them other two escaped and put together a fighting band and held out another ten, fifteen years. Beat Zach Taylor and a thousand troops at Lake Okeechobee.
-So they stayed in Florida?
-Men worked for Santa Anna down there, waited out the Civil War. The land wasn't much to feed people on, so in 1870 they come north and put up at Fort Duncan and the men joined up what was called the Seminole Negro Indian Scouts. Best trackers either side of the border. Bandits, rustlers, Texas rednecks, Kiowa, Comanche--
-They fought against the Indians?
-Same as they done in Mexico.
-But they were Indians themselves.
-They were in the Army. Like your father.
-You know who I am?
-I got a pretty good guess.
-That guy who got shot--
-You didn't go telling your father you were here?
-Are you kidding? And face a court- martial?
-He's a pretty tough old man, huh?
-No sports if I don't keep a B average, no TV on school nights, no PDA's--
-PDA?
-Public Display of Affection. Every time he moves up a rank, it's like he's got to tighten the screws a little more--
-Well--
-I mean, just 'cause he didn't--you know--
-Didn't have a father?
-He's still pissed off about it.
-So how come you got into all this?
-These are our people. There were Paynes in Florida, Oklahoma, Piedras Negras--couple of 'em won the whatsit-- Congressional Medal Of Honor--
-So I'm part-Indian?
-By blood you are. But blood only means what you let it.
-My father says the day you're born you start from scratch, no breaks and no excuses, and you got to pull yourself up on your own.
-Otis Payne was never embarrassed about a thing in his life.
-Dad--?
-Big O was always there with a smile or a loan or a free drink.
-Dad, I talked to the track coach--
-I thought we already had this out? Next year, if your grades are high enough--
-I have a B average.
-Homework?
-I finished that. I'm just messing around.
-Tanks, huh?
-You got to be in the Army, you might as well have something slick to drive.
-Not that I don't think you'd be good at it, but--you know--I wouldn't be disappointed if you decided to do something else with your life.
-You wouldn't?
-How's your room shaping up?
-Fine. I'm pretty much moved in.
-Are we going to ever see your father?
-My father.
-Yeah. He lives here, right?
-Maybe we'll clean that thing out back up, have a barbecue next weekend. We could invite him and his wife over.
-Recycling, right? We invented that. The government doesn't have to tell people to do it.
-You own this place?
-This place, the one across the street, four other ones around Ciudad Leon-- soy el Rey de las Llantas. King of the Tires. Lots of your people rollin' back over that bridge on my rubber.
-You lived in the States for a while?
-Fifteen years in El Paso.
-Made some money, came back here--
-Something like that.
-Bird flying south-you think he sees that line? Rattlesnake, javelina-- whatever you got--halfway across that line they don't start thinking different. So why should a man?
-Your government always been pretty happy to have that line. The question's just been where to draw it
-This place is a gold mine.
-What?
-It's a lead mine.
-Right.
-I don't know why I'm talking to you, you've got that thing on your head.
-You finding lots of cactus and shit?
-It's not just cactus. There's the nopals, the yuccas--
-Looks like a lot of cactus to me.
-Man knows a hundred-fifty varieties of beer, he can't tell a poinsettia from a prickly pear.
-Cliff--
-You live in a place, you should know something about it. Explore--
-The Sheriff says we shouldn't touch anything,
-Since I've been stationed here? A fistfight now and then--
-Guy cracks walnuts with his asshole.
-Never thought I'd see the day a buddy of mine was dating a woman with three up and three down on her shoulder.
-I think it's beyond what you'd call dating.
-You going to get married?
-Maybe.
-You met her family? They gonna be cool about you being a white guy?
-Priscilla says they think any woman over 30 who isn't married must be a lesbian. She figures they'll be so relieved I'm a man--
-Hey, Mikey--
-I knew she was Japanese going into it, but she didn't tell me the ninja assassin part--
-Mikey--
-Her parents acted like I was gonna blow my nose on their curtains--
-Mikey--
-If I stayed out past ten with the guys she'd go into her Madame Butterfly routine--
-Mikey look at this--
-What--it's a bullet. I'm lousy with bullets here.
-It's a .45.
-Yeah?
-This is the stuff we picked up the other day, right? The rest of this is all .30 caliber--
-They were using M-1's, yeah--
-He'll be transferred to a military hospital as soon as he's stabilized--
-You spoil 'em, Cliff.
-Hey--she's in a tough situation. I cut her some slack--
-But I'm the one in charge of her sorry ass.
-So where does that put us?
-Well--I don't see what's changed. No - PDA's, no necking on the obstacle course.
-Seriously.
-Seriously, I think we should get married.
-We been through this before--
-We should just do it.
-And if I get a shot at a promotion somewhere--
-You could take it--
-It's up or out these days, Cliff. Say I get transferred to a different post--
-I'd quit the Army for you, if it came to that.
-They stopped training infantry there in the late '50s. It was just a playground for the jackrabbits till they gave it to the county last year.
-I was driving back from Apache Wells when they got me on the radio.
-This was a rifle range way back when. But we figured it isn't Army land anymore, it's your jurisdiction.
-I've got the forensics fella coming down from the Rangers. No way to know how old the body is without some lab work.
-That ring--
-Treasure hunter?
-Sheriff--hi--this is Sergeant--this is Priscilla Worth.
-Pleased to meet you.
-Now I'm just as liberal as the next guy--
-If the next guy's a redneck.
---but I gotta say I think there's something to this cold climate business. I mean, you go to the beach- what do you do? Drink a few beers, wait for a fish to flop up on the sand. Can't build no civilization that way. You got a hard winter coming, though, you got to plan ahead, and that gives your cerebral cortex a workout.
-Good deal you were born down here, then.
-You joke about it, Sam, but we are in a state of crisis. The lines of demarcation has gotten fuzzy--to run a sucessfull civilization you got to have lines of demarcation between right and wrong, between this one and that one--your Daddy understood that. He was like the whatchacallit-- the referee for this damn menudo we got down here. He understood how most people
-You mixed drinks bad as you mix metaphors, you be out of a job.
---warning. Not 'cause he had it in for the colored
---but just as a kind of safety tip.
-Yeah. I bet he would.
-There's not that much down here, Colonel. Big O's is the only place in the county that our African American soldiers are uhm--that they feel comfortable in.
-You know how it is, Colonel--first time away from home, dealing with new people--I remember my first hitch--
-Substance abuse?
-Well, yeah, but I went through the Program. I haven't had a drink since--
-I sprint the last quarter mile. You gentlemen don't have to keep up if you don't care to.
-Black Seminoles?
-That where he was shot?
-That's where he fell.
-You get much of that in here?
-It's a bar. People come together, drink, fall in love, fall out of love, air their grudges out--
-Deal drugs in the bathroom--
-This here's Carolyn. Honey, this is my son, Delmore.
-So.
-So tell me why I shouldn't make this place off-limits.
-This is an official visit, then--
-Your boys out there cooped up together, need somewhere they can let the steam out. If they're Black, there's not but one place in this town they feel welcome. Been that way since before you were born.
-We have an enlisted man's club at the post.
-Well, you're the Man out there now, aren't you? It's your call.
-That's right.
-I been hearing rumors about this new commander coming for a couple weeks now. Boys say they heard he's a real hard case. Spit-and-polish man. Full- bird colonel name of Payne, they say-- Bet you never figured you end up back here.
-The Army hands you a command, you go wherever it is.
-Right.
-I hear things, too. People call you the Mayor of Darktown.
-Over the years, this is the one place that's always been there. I loan a little money out, settle some arguments. Got a cot in the back- people get afraid to go home they can spend the night. There's not enough of us to run anything in this town- the white people are mostly out on the lake now and the Mexicans hire each
-And people make their choice--
-I gonna meet that family of yours?
-Why would you want to do that?
-Hola, amgio. Problemas de llanta? [Hey, friend. Tire problems?]
-No hay de que. Tengo otra. [No problem, I've got another.]
-Not much, jefe. Some watermelons.
-I heard somebody been haulin' wets on this road.
-I haven't seen anybody doing that.
-This same person been bragging all over the county how he don't have to cut that big gringo Sheriff in on it-- he can run his own operation 'thout any help. Como se llama, amigo?
-Eladio Cruz.
-Reputation?
-There's many an unfortunate soul been ambushed out on this stretch. Hope you're carrying some protection.
-Protection?
-You carryin' a firearm, son? Don't lie to me now.
-Si--tengo escopeto--just a shotgun--
-Donde esta? Estoy perdido--[Where are you? I'm lost--]
-No puedo ver la orilla! [I can't see the bank!]
-Vi a Rosaria arastrado para el corriente--[I saw Rosaria taken away by the current--]
-Como se llama? [What's your name?]
-Mercedes Gonzales Ruiz.
-Es muy lindo, su coche--
-En ingles Enrique. This is the United States. We speak English.
-Is very beautiful, your car.
-Good night, Enrique. She slides into the car--
-Senora Cruz?
-Quien es? [Who is it?]
-What are you doing out there? Are you crazy?
-Hay pasado un accidente muy grave-- [There's been a bad accident--]
-In English, Enrique. We're in the United States--
-I have some friends who have had a accident--
-You have somebody else out there?
-We was by the river? And I hear my friend callin' for help, and I look and she has falling in the water--
-Don't tell me lies, Enrique. Que paso?
-Enrique! Quienes son estos? How could you bring them here?
-No! No puede hacer esto--[You can't do that--]
-You think you're doing these people a favor? What are they going to do? Either they get on welfare or they become criminals--
-This girl is a friend of yours?
-Es mi novia. [She's my girlfriend.]
-I thought you were married!
-I am marry to the cousin of a friend-- but only to be able to live here. This is the mother of my child--
-This girl has a child?
-We have a daughter.
-Rapidamente! Everybody in the world is going to see!
-Donde vamos? [Where are we going?]
-A casa de Porfirio Zayas. He used to be a doctor on the other side. Gunshot wounds, fixing babies--if you can pay he can handle it.
-Senora, anything it costs, I can work--
-"Fishbait," says Buddy, in that quiet way of his, "What you know about them tires that went missing from markets?" Fishbait thinks for a minute, then he lifts up a loose board from the porch floor and calls down into it, "C'mon out, Pooter, they caught us!"
-Buddy Deeds. He had a way.
-Sam! I was just telling a few about your old man.
-Big day coming up--I wish we'd have thought of it while he was still living. But he went so unexpected.
-Every other damn thing in the country is called after Martin Luther King, they can't let our side have one measly park?
-King wasn't Mexican, Fenton--
-They just wanted it to be one of theirs--
-Tell that one, Hollis--
-The two of us were the only deputies back then me and Buddy--it's what-- '58--
-'57, 1 believe--
-"Mas cerveza por favor."
-Charley Wade were known to have put a good number of people in the ground, and your daddy gets eyeball to eyeball with him.
-Your mother was a saint.
-Historic occasion, isn't it?
-Seems like we have another one every week.
-That kind of talk doesn't help, Sam.
-Which is why we need to talk to you about the new jail--just so we're all on the same page.
-We don't need a new jail.
-That's a matter of interpretation--
-Dammit, Sam, the people are concerned about crime--
-When we backed you--
-I heard there was a bit of a fuss.
-There was a faction pulling for that boy who was killed in the Gulf War-- Ruben--
---Santiago.
-That so?
-Never heard from him again?
-Oh--he come to an accommodation. Money doesn't always need to change hands to keep the wheels turning.
-Right.
-I always wondered what you Mayors do when you're not cutting ribbons.
-Sam! Hey podner! You caught me playing hooky--
-Floating around out here, playin' hell with them bass--play a little cards, play a little golf, drink some beer--
-Sounds great. Where do I sign up?
-I haven't been out here for a while.
-You go by your old house?
-No.
-Just as well. The new people just painted it some God-awful color--
-Was it Davy Crockett or Jim Bowie?
-You recall if Charley Wade was a Mason?
-Charley? I believe he was. Used to go for lodge meetings over to Laredo. What's he got to do with your body?
-You don't remember anything else from that last night you saw him, do you?
-I told the story enough times--hell, we were just in the car, he was stewing about the fight with Buddy while we drove over to Roderick Bledsoe's--
-Bledso
-He owned the colored roadhouse before Big O--
-He still living?
-No. I think his widow's still in their place in Darktown, though. You think it's Charley Wade, huh?
-Besides my father, I mean.
-There's no call for that, Sam. Fella made himself a pile of enemies over the years.
-And Buddy was one of them.
-We got that dedication tomorrow. This is a hell of a time to be draggin' up old business.
-People have worked this whole big thing up around my father. If it's built on a crime, they deserve to know. Now I understand why you might want to believe he couldn't do it.
-Morning, Hollis.
-Sam! Quite a do the other day. It meant a lot to folks that you said something.
-You thought any more about our murder?
-We have a murder?
-Charley Wade.
-I wish I could tell you I remembered something new, but I can't.
-I got an idea what happened.
-Do you?
-You lived in the man's house what-- seventeen, eighteen years? And you didn't get to know him any better than that?
-Fellas.
-Hey, Sam.
-Imonna find out one way or the other.
-Your father had the finest sense of justice of any man I ever met--
-Yeah, and my mother was a saint. For fifteen years the whole damn town knew he had another woman on the side. Stole ten thousand dollars to set her up in business. But hell, what's that? You got a problem? Buddy'll fix it. Facing some time in jail? Buddy'll knock half of it off-- if you do what he says, when he says. You
-Buddy Deeds--
-The three of us cleaned up and took him to the post and put him under. Can't say I was much help.
-And the ten thousand?
-Don't think the Rangers are likely to find out any more than they already have.
-We're building up tourism, Sam--
-People come here to catch bass and to get laid at the Boy's Town in Cuidad Leon--
-Sam--
-I got Eddie Richter at the Sentinel to kill that story.
-The Perdido thing?
-He agreed it wasn't exactly news--
-There was a mandate in the last election--
-There isn't money allocated for that. But a jail--
-Steve called for you.
-Steve?
-Steve. Board of Education Steve who likes you? He goes for us hot-blooded Mexican girls, I can tell.
-Spanish, please. My mother would have a heart attack.
-Your mother's family is Spanish?
-Sure, they go back to Cortez. When he rode by, they were squatting in a hut cooking hamsters for dinner.
-You got to be interested in somebody. All you do is work.
-All my mother does is work. That's how you get to be Spanish.
-How 'bout the Sheriff?
-The Sheriff.
-The old-high-school-heartthrob Sheriff. I thought you were crazy about each other. He's available, you're available--
-I'm unmarried. I'm not available.
-These ones coming up are getting stupider every year.
-Maybe you're just getting less patient.
-If they're going to survive here, they have to know how to work, Elalco! Adelante! Los clientes esperan!
-Well, you hire illegals--
-Nobody is illegal in my cafe! They've got green cards, they've got relatives who were born here--if they only had a little common sense I'd be very happy.
-If you spent a little more time training them--
-Did you come here to tell me how to run my business?
-No. I was wondering if you'd like to take a trip down south with us. Maybe see where you grew up--
-Why would I want to go there?
-Oh, come on--you must be curious how it's changed. Amado is into this big Tejano roots thing and I've never been further than Ciudad Leon--
-Mami, how old were you when my father--
-He was killed.
-Right. When he was killed.
-A little older than Paloma is now.
-There must have been somebody.
-I was too busy.
-Nobody's too busy.
-Maybe now. It was different back then. I had this place, I was doing all the shopping, all the cooking. What do I need some chulo with grease under his nails to drink up the profit?
-Thank you.
-I don't mean Fernando.
-Mami, the first time I brought him home, those were your exact words-- "some chulo with grease under his nails."
-I never said that.
-You made it pretty damn clear you thought he was nobody.
-I felt that you could do better for yourself--
-What? Become a nun? You didn't want me going out with Anglos--
-I never said that. It was just that boy--
-Mrs. Bledsoe?
-That's me.
-I'm Sheriff Deeds--
-Sheriff Deeds' dead, honey--you just Sheriff junior.
-Yeah, that's the story of my life.
-You ever play one of these?
-I've seen 'em.
-Well, don't ever start up on 'em, cause once you do you can't stop. I tell myself I'm gonna play just three little games after breakfast, and here I sit with half the day gone.
-You mind if I ask a few questions about your husband? Roderick?
-I won't say nothing bad about the man, but you can ask away.
-He had the club out on the old trail road--
-We run that twenty-odd years. Give it over to Otis Payne in 1967. April.
-So you must remember Sheriff Wade.
-Not if I can help it.
-You had to deal with him in running the club.
-Them days, you deal with Sheriff Wade or you didn't deal at all. First of the month, every month, he remind you of who you really workin' for.
-He squeezed money out of you?
-Wasn't legal to sell liquor in a glass back then unless you was a club, see. Roderick used to say, "Buy yourself a drink, you get a free membership." But Sheriff Wade, he could shut you down anytime.
-And my father?
-Sheriff Buddy was a different story. Long as Roderick throw his weight the right way on election day, make sure all the colored get out to vote- we was called colored back then, if you was polite--maybe throw a barbecue for the right people now and then, things was peaceful. That Sheriff Wade, though, he took an awful big bite.
-People didn't complain?
-Not if they was colored or Meskin. Not if they wanted to keep breathin'.
-Pilar, is uhm--is Amado okay?
-Okay? He's not here?
-No. Is he sick?
-I don't think you can take it personally--
-I'd like to see them spend a day pulling 14-year-olds off of each other--I should get combat pay--
-I didn't understand the spot I was putting Roderick in.
-Oh--I think he came in one more time with Hollis and--naw, your Daddy wasn't with them. Made their monthly pickup. Roderick wasn't in so I just kept my mouth good and shut and handed over that envelope.
-That was the night he disappeared?
-Could of been. That was white people's business.
-And when my father was Sheriff?
-What about it?
-Buddy was more a part of the big picture--county political machine, chamber of commerce, zoning board if I kept those people happy, he was pretty much on my side. Whenever somebody thought--they start up another bar for the black folks, they'd be--how should I put this? They'd be officially discouraged.
-I'm not open. We were just talking.
-Hollis probably told you we found Charley Wade.
-Not if you have half a brain in your head.
-Of course you can.
-What?
-Mom?
-Yeah?
-You gonna stay out here?
-What's she singing about?
-She finally got in--
-It's Saturday.
-You got in late last night.
-Can I get this?
-Nobody really wears that stuff, Paloma.
-I could name five girls at school who have one just like it--
-Enough with the clothes--
-Just 'cause you went to Catholic school and wore a uniform.
-I only went for my last two years.
-How come?
-Morning, Sheriff.
-Hey, Pete. How's it going?
-Time marches on.
-How much you got left?
-Three months.
-You stop growing that loco weed at your place, you'd see a lot more daylight.
-It was for personal consumption.
-You're going to smoke an acre and a half of marijuana?
-Your father never bothered me about it. Leastways not till the drug people got on his back in the late '60s.
-I thought he busted you a couple times.
-That's how I ruined my stomach.
-I'm surprised he bothered with it.
-He was afraid I was going to poison somebody. Your father tried to do good for people--
-So I've heard--
-And your mother was a saint. That summer I built the patio at your house? She made me lunch every day.
-Well, you were working there--
-You built our patio while you were on the county?
-Out in the fresh air, nice gringo lady making you pies--who's gonna sit back in a little jail cell all day? Sheriff Buddy, man. Como el no hay dos. And after that cabron Charley Wade--
-I've heard Wade was a bit tough on the Mexicans--
-He murdered Eladio Cruz. That tough enough for you?
-Murdered him?
-Something wrong?
-They've got my Amado.
-Got him here?
-Somebody called--something about an electronics store.
-I was--I was real sorry about Nando. He was a good fella. We haven't talked since.
-We haven't talked since high school.
-He's all yours.
-Field trip?
-Lunch hour. My next class isn't till nine-thirty.
-Your mother still doesn't like me.
-I can't name anybody she does like these days.
-I see she built a place up here by the river.
-A real palace. She rattles around alone in that thing--
-She's done well for herself--on her own and all--
-I thought you got through that pretty well.
-They cooked the whole thing up without asking me.
-People liked him.
-Most people did, yeah.
-I was on the playground with all the other kids, but I thought he was only looking at me. I was afraid he was going to arrest me--he had those eyes, you know--
-Yeah.
-Your boy, there--
-Amado.
-Nice-looking kid.
-He hates me.
-No--
-With Paloma, it's more like she pities and tolerates me- totally age- appropriate. But Amado--he's--he's never been book-smart. Had a hard time learning to read. Me being a teacher and caring about those things is like an embarrassment--like a betrayal.
-Fernando did okay, and he dropped out--
-Fernando wasn't pissed off at everybody. He just wanted to fix their cars.
-So why did you come back here, Sam?
-Got divorced, I wasn't gonna work for my father-in-law anymore. The fellas down here said they'd back me--
-You don't want to be Sheriff.
-I got to admit it's not what I thought it'd be. Back When Buddy had it-- hell, I'm just a jailer. Run a 60- room hotel with bars on the windows.
-It can happen so sudden, can't it? Being left out on your own.
-You've got your mother, your kids--
-I should get back.
-Pilar--
-We thought we were something, didn't we?
-Yeah.
-I look at my kids in school--tenth, eleventh graders. That's who we were. Children.
-Yeah.
-I mean what did we know about anything?
-When Nando died--it was so sudden--I was kind of in shock for awhile. Then I woke up and there was the whole rest of my life and I didn't have any idea what to do with it.
-You know the other day, you asked why I came back?
-Yeah?
-Wow.
-Yeah.
-How come it feels the same?
-I don't know. It just feels good. Always did.
-So what are we gonna do about this?
-How long have you lived here?
-Two years.
-There's nothing on the walls. No pictures--
-Don't have kids. Other pictures--I don't know--it's nothing I want to look back on.
-Like your story is over.
-It isn't. Not by a long shot. He holds her and they lie silently for a moment--
-Pilar--
-Yeah?
-What was your father's name?
-You gonna tell your mother we been seeing each other?
-She'll figure it out sooner or later. I don't have to ask permission anymore, if that's what you mean.
-You have any idea when your father died? Eladio?
-Couple months before I was born--
-I've never seen my mother in a bathing suit before. Didn't know she owned one.
-Buddy bought the cafe for her with money he took from the county. Pilar looks away, struggling not to cry--
-They can't pull this on me. It isn't fair--I don't believe this--
-He paid the hospital bill when you were born. Your mom always calls you "our beautiful daughter" in the letters she wrote to him.
-From the first time I saw you at school--all those years we were married to other people I always felt like we were connected.
-I'm not having any more children. After Amado, I had some complications-- I can't get pregnant again, if that's what the rule is about--
-We start from scratch--
-Yeah--
-Hospital says the other kid is in bad shape--
-The shooter local?
-Down from Houston. I think he knew the girl before.
-Okay--we'll take a statement from all the GIs before they go back to post. You can get the story from Otis over at the club.
-Any poop on the John Doe you found out there today?
-You're out early.
-Yeah.
-Haven't seen much of you at the jail lately.
-I been working on a few things.
-Uh-huh.
-I'm going over to the other side.
-The Republicans?
-No--to Mexico. I've got to talk to somebody.
-They got telephones.
-Gotta be in person.
-Sam? I--the Committee--you know Jorge and H.L. and all--they asked me--
-They want you to stand for Sheriff next election.
-Yeah.
-You'd do a good job.
-How 'bout you?
-Don't know if I'll still want it.
-I didn't want to be going around your back.
-You think we need a new jail?
-Excellent performance, my friend. The judge was very impressed.
-You don't need to cuff me.
-You're the one who's a good boy. Man say "fetch" and you fetch--
-Just doing my job.
-White man just using you to keep the Black man down.
-This isn't Houston, my friend. We pretty much running things now. Our good day has come.
-Don't mind him, Sheriff. Boy's just a bit slow, is all. He don't mean nothin' by it--
-That the problem, son? You Slow?
-You got him too scared to peep, Sheriff. Maybe if you put that gun up--
-You telling me what to do, Roderick?
-What's this I see? Is that whiskey in them glasses on the Bar? Roderick, I'm gonna have to cite you for a violation of state law--
-This is a club, Sheriff--you been in here--
-Hey Sam. Sorry 'bout that.
-What's up?
-We had about a dozen wets come over just upriver. They ran into one of our posts--it was like a breakshot on a pool table, illegals runnin' every which way.
-I haven't seen anybody come by.
-We'll get 'em-- So you livin' out here now?
-Yeah. It's quiet--
-I heard about that deal for your father--You must be real proud.
-Sure.
---but longhorns are hard to come by these days.
-You sell much out here?
-How am I gonna sell things if nobody comes by? This stretch of road runs between Nowheres and Nothin' Much.
-Hell of a spot to put a business.
-Buffalo chips. Fella in Santa Fe told me he sells these as fast as the buffalo can squeeze 'em out.
-So when did Buddy leave?
-For Frontera? Hell, I can't remember dates no more. I do recall it was after an affair of the heart had gone sour on him. He almost took some poor fella's head off at the Legion in Arroyo Grande, and figured it was time to move on.
-You think he killed anybody in Korea?
-They don't hand those medals out for hidin'in your foxhole. Would you buy this?
-No--
-If he hadn't found that Deputy job, I believe Buddy might've gone down the other path, got into some serious trouble. Settled him right down. That and your mother. 'Course he had that other one later.
-Another woman?
-Your mother wasn't one to get chased off her patch. Half the damn county knew and nobody thought the worse of her for seein' it through.
-You know who it was?
-I know you?
-Name's Otis.
-Otis what?
-Payne.
-One of Cleroe Payne's boys?
-Uh-huh.
-I sent your Daddy to the farm once.
-I know that.
-As I remember it was because he had a sassy mouth on him. Must run in the family--You wouldn't be runnin' numbers out of this club, now, would you, son?
-Runnin' numbers illegal.
-How come you don't took familiar?
-Been away. Up to Houston.
-You going to tell her?
-You going to tell him?
-He doesn't need to know all my business.
-He's gonna find out.
-It's supposed to be some big sin, even if you love each other.
-Mister D'Amour?
-Yeah?
-You haven't paid the cab. He won't give us your bags 'til you pay him.
-How much?
-Thirty-five bucks.
-Hello, L.A.
-Have a nice evening, Mr. D'Amour.
-I gotta be careful. If Vinovich sees me talking to you. He's an asshole, but he's a powerful asshole.
-They go together.
-I've heard a name. Someone they talk about in whispers.
-Who?
-Nix.
-Nix?
-Like in nothing. Nobody. Nix.
-Who is he?
-I'm sure they'll have this place rigged.
-How?
-I hear Mrs. Swann's quite a babe.
-You heard right.
-You ever been married?
-Yeah. She was killed in a car crash. Her lawyer was driving. She was filing for divorce.
-Why?
-My life was too weird for her.
-Billy? This was on Miller's forehead. Any idea what it is?
-I could have lost my fucking hands.
-That's Butterfield...
-Take a look at this.
-Maybe they're not tricks.
-I mean, there's no instructions-- What do you mean, they're not tricks?
-What did Vinovich say? Something about walking a path between --
-Trickery and divinity. Yeah, he says that all the time.
-That's because he knew. He'd seen these files and knew.
-Hokey enough for you?
-Thanks, Billy.
-How'd you spell that again?
-D.A.M.O.U.R. D'Amour. Harry D'Amour.
-D'Amour.
-Right.
-Right.
-You did. Didn't you?
-Why would I do that?
-You don't have a clue what you're into, do you?
-Who did this?
-Who did this?
-D'Amour... D'Amour... Why do I know that name?
-I saw him on T.V. Some kid got possessed and he saved the little bastard's life.
-He's a priest?
-I don't want him getting in the way.
-We've all of us waited too long to have the homecoming spoiled.
-What do you mean, "all of us?"
-You didn't think it was just going to be you and me? A lot of people believed in Nix. They haven't forgotten his promise.
-About?
-Death.
-What about death?
-Please.
-I could scoop them out.
-Don't.
-So tell me where Nix is buried.
-I'll tell you.
-Anything?
-If you've lied to me to me --
-Oh Christ! Oh Christ!
-Jesus. Valentin. What did you do to your face?
-Like the look of these? I made them myself, to set him free.
-Why did you wait so long?
-I didn't have the skill to resurrect him. I had to teach myself. And that took time.
-And you think he'll be in a fit state to resurrect, after thirteen years?
-If he was just a man like me, then no. But he's not.
-What is he?
-Do you wish him to be amongst us?
-Yes...
-Will you come to him on your knees?
-Yes...
-He's with us...
-Ever watched a man die? If you watch very closely, you can sometimes see the soul escaping. And if you're very quick, you can catch it.
-Please... Butterfield... I wasn't there. Ask Pimm.
-So do you. You've seen the future. Haven't you?
-Yes.
-And are you afraid?
-Please... I wasn't there... Ask Pimm.
-I want you to help me help my husband. I know he's in some kind of trouble. And it's something to do with the man you saw murdered.
-Did your husband know Quaid?
-Yes. They weren't close, but they saw each other once in a while. I think Philip believes all that stuff with the tarot cards.
-You don't?
-What's the connection?
-I don't exactly know. Philip doesn't like to talk about the past.
-He's a secretive man.
-And you don't ask questions?
-We don't share our lives the way a lot of people do.
-Does that mean...?
-We haven't slept in the same bed for years.
-But obviously you still care what happens to him.
-You don't believe me.
-Sorry. You asked.
-No. You're right. He could have been something more. Maybe a lot more. But people get lost. Even good people. Too much fame. Too much money,
-Will you take the job, Mr. D'Amour?
-Harry.
-Harry.
-I'm no bodyguard.
-That's not what I'm asking for. I want somebody who can find out what Philip saw in those damn cards. And stop it from happening.
-When do you want me to start?
-Come to the show with me. Tonight I want you to see him with an audience. They love him.
-I didn't marry him for love, Mr. D'Amour. Tonight?
-He's good.
-Are they treating you okay?
-I heard what happened. It looks like somebody murdered him.
-I'm sorry I got into this too late. But if you want me to stick around, maybe dig where the cops don't look...
-I don't know where you'd start.
-Well... how about some of the other illusionists?
-They won't tell you anything.
-I can be very persuasive.
-Yes. I think you probably can. We'd need to talk about your fee.
-How did it go today?
-They were jealous of him.
-Why? Because he had you?
-He... didn't have me.. I told you-
-So why did you marry him?
-That's my business. Harry.
-Just curious. Back to business. Ever heard of a man called Nix? Dorothea?
-Yes... I'm here. And no. I don't know the name.
-What about Jennifer Desiderio?
-It doesn't ring a bell. I have to go.
-Okay. I'll keep digging.
-Flesh is a trap. That's what he used to say. Flesh is a trap and magic sets us free. Why did you come back?
-What did you find?
-Oh Christ.
-Nix ran some kind of cult, right? Some kind of Charlie Manson deal?
-It was more than that, I think.
-He was the real thing, right?
-Swann said he could do stuff, yes.
-Stuff?
-He could get into people's heads. Make them see things. Terrible things. And he could levitate. Juggle fire.
-He taught all this to Swann?
-So Swann was performing magic. not illusions? And what? You thought he should be using it to cure cancer, not making millions.
-I told you --
-Too much fame. Yeah, I guess that'd turn anybody's head. Including yours.
-No.
-You said you weren't with him for love.
-I wasn't.
-What then?
-I was grateful to him. I owed him my life. And he loved me. He couldn't always show it, but he felt it.
-It's okay.
-No it isn't. You can't help me.
-Nothing's going to happen to you.
-Nothing?
-I was so afraid.
-Don't be. Nix can't hurt you now.
-Are you sure?
-I'm sure. He's dead.
-I was twelve. Nix took me hostage, to get Swann to come to him.
-And they all came...
-Yes.
-Quaid and Jennifer--
-What was that?
-Are you all right?
-Harry?
-Oh God!
-I've got to help him.
-You can't.
-No! No! No!
-... oh... God...
-I'm here, Harry.
-...yes?
-Don't look.
-Harry?
-Is it finished?
-What the fuck?
-Harry-?
-Valentin?
-Good. There. Yes?
-Crank call. I'll get the number changed.
-It's better he's gone. He would have done more harm than good.
-Harm to whom? Me? I don't think, so. Try him again at the hotel.
-What about me?
-Bad show last night?
-The usual. Full house. Standing ovation. I tell them it's magic...
-... they believe you.
-Yeah. Remember Quaid?
-Sure.
-Somebody killed him.
-Oh God.
-I'm putting in a new illusion tonight. Will you be there?
-Sure. You want me to find out about Quaid? I mean, the funeral?
-What were you doing up there?
-I'm a private detective. I was hired to follow somebody for a few days. A guy called Tapert. Insurance fraud.
-Tapert. So, now I've got Tapert, Butterfield.
-Tapert's got nothing to do with this. He came here to get his palm read.
-What makes you so sure?
-I got a file on him two inches thick. He's a petty fraudster. This is something else. Ever heard of someone called the Puritan?
-Where the fuck is he?
-He got up and walked.
-And this Butterfield guy--
---vanished.
-Are you finished with me?
-For now. Are you planning to go back to New York?
-You believe that?
-I think we walk a narrow path, between... between...
-Trickery and divinity.
-Are you saying that sometimes the miracles are real?
-No. I'm saying they were always fake. The saints, the messiahs, they were just illusionists.
-So could you walk on water?
-I could reproduce any miracle that's ever been performed, with a little preparation.
-They weren't worth a damn.
-I heard he was the best.
-You tell me. No? I thought you'd maybe have a theory.
-Oh, I've got plenty.
-I'm not saying another word. You damn fool. He's a journalist.
-Just tell me about Swann. Or are you too scared?
-With what?
-Great accent, by the way. Is it Brooklyn?
-Shit.
-Mr. D'Amour?
-Go away.
-It's one in the afternoon.
-What are you, my mother?
-Whatever I said, I didn't mean it, okay? I get a few drinks inside me --
-We've never met.
-Then what do you want?
-I'm here to offer you a job.
-I'm going back to New York in-- Shit! I'm outta here.
-Whose is the car?
-Mine.
-Nah. You're driving it too carefully.
-Maybe I just bought it.
-Havanas. You're not the smoker. So who is?
-You could almost pass for a detective, D'Amour. I work for the best illusionist in the world.
-Philip Swann?
-You know of him?
-I saw him in Vegas once.
-Are you a gambling man?
-When I can afford to lose. Swann's quite a magician.
-Never call him that. He's strictly an illusionist.
-What's the difference?
-Any movie stars buried here?
-Probably.
-It's not a bad place. Warm. Great view.
-I don't think the dead much care.
-Are you sure?
-Who is she?
-What the fuck are you doing here?
-Looking for you. I tried the hotel.
-Why'd you come here?
-You're a detective, with no clues. Where else are you going to look? I'm going to keep this brief. Here's thirty thousand dollars.
-What for?
-A ticket home,
-You didn't hire me. She did. If she wants me off the job, I want to hear it from her.
-She doesn't want to see you. She's had enough pain. Enough churning over the past. She wants it all left alone.
-Left alone? Somebody's been murdered.
-Yes. It's regrettable
-Fuck regrettable! I want to know why.
-What for? You need to stay busy?
-I like to know why things happen.
-Why people die? Give it up, D'Amour. Go home.
-I want to speak to Dorothea.
-I'm afraid she's not in.
-I can't let you in.
-Yeah, I know.
-Leave her alone --
-Are you satisfied now?
-You rigged the illusion to fail, right?
-Yes.
-You paid off the doctor. You set up the fake body. Yes?
-Yes.
-And then... because I was getting too close to something -- --or someone, you called Swann
-I tried to pay you off.
-Was that Swann's idea?
-No. It was mine. I didn't want any more bloodshed. That's why we went to all this trouble, so there'd be no one for Nix to come after.
-Nix is dead and buried, for fuck's sake.
-I want to see Swann face to face.
-D'Amour --
-Shit...
-Him too.
-We've got to get you to a hospital.
-Don't bother.
-Shut up. We've lost enough lives already.
-I'm sorry, D'Amour...
-What about?
-Jennifer's only ever had one visitor.
-A Mister Quaid?
-Right. And he's dead, isn't he? I saw it on the news. Jennifer doesn't know. And frankly, this isn't the best tine for her to be told.
-Jennifer's been with us four years. She was coming on nicely. But just the last month or so, she's worse than ever.
-What's her problem?
-She has no real grip on reality.
-Does anybody?
-Oh yes. We have to agree what's real and what's not. That's what holds us together.
-You need an ambulance.
-My God.
-What?
-You've taken some strange journeys in your life.
-Yeah. You could say that.
-You're drawn to the dark side, over and over. And it's drawn to you. You don't like that.
-Not much.
-Hold on.
-I'm not afraid to die. There's something terrible... coming home...
-The Puritan?
-Yes...
-Where'd you learn that?
-What?
-That.
-At birth. I don't know you --
-Harry D'Amour.
-I know all the kids coming up. Got to stay ahead of the game. But I don't know you.
-I'm in from New York. I came to see Swann.
-What a tragedy. It was just a matter of time, of course, but it's not good for the business.
-Was he taking a lot of risks?
-You don't know the half of it. I'm Walter Wilder, by the way.
-You know Vinovich?
-Sure. Vivovich.
-He knew Swann way back. He says there were a lot of drugs, a lot of crazy shit.
-I'd love to... you know... hang with some of you guys.
-People are pretty cagey. Who do you know?
-For what?
-For an introduction.
-I only wear ties for funerals.
-Are they all in the business?
-That's what they call the Repository. Every magic secret known to man's locked up in that room.
-Have you been in?
-A lot of people are going to be really pissed off when they discover you're still alive.
-Look, Ma, no wires.
-You shouldn't have followed me, D'Amour.
-How the fuck do you do that?
-Now I'm going to have to kill you.
-I don't think so. You need me alive.
-You know, it's such a fucking waste. You can do shit most of us can only dream about, and you go around pretending it's some trick.
-Illusionists get. Las Vegas contracts, D'Amour. Magicians get burned.
-Or murdered, like Nix.
-He deserved it.
-Maybe he doesn't see it that way. Maybe he's digging his way out of the hole you put him right now. That's what you're hiding away from, isn't it?
-I did it for Dorothea.
-Oh yeah?
-So Nix won't come looking for her?
-It's me betrayed him.
-And she shot him I I think that'd piss me off if I were Nix.
-I don't know what else to do.
-Oh Jeez.
-You think I'm an asshole.
-Didn't know you read minds.
-I can do a lot of shit, D'Amour. But you know that. So I like playing games with people. Gives them something to wonder about...
-Is that all?
-I distract them from their banality for a few minutes. It's like a public service. It doesn't mean much in the end. They're all going to die.
-Oh, I was going to discover the secret of the universe. That's why I liked Nix. He promised me all these explanations.
-And he didn't have them?
-He had something. He showed me how to bend the rules. A little levitation. A few fireworks.
-Is that all?
-No. At the end... when we had him cornered, he got into my head. He showed me what we really look like, when the veneer's gone. Jelly. Shit...
-And you believed him?
-Did she know where Nix was buried?
-No.
-Who else did? Did Valentin?
-Yes.
-They got here before us.
-... no...
-He's better off this way.
-Nobody's better off this wav!
-That's where we're all going.
-Jesus... what the hell's going on in there?
-At a guess... they just resurrected him.
-This is where we killed him.
-You didn't try hard enough.
-He did something with the ground.
-Yes?
-Can you do it?
-I don't know.
-The case is closed. Harry. Tapert's given us a full confession. Get your ass back to Mew York.
-No. I'm taking a couple of weeks' vacation.
-You never took a fucking vacation in your life, Harry. What's going on?
-I got to go. I'm late.
-Call me tomorrow.
-There's other guys as good as me, Loomis.
-Yeah. But not as cheap. Call me.
-A couple of weeks.
-One question.
-What?
-Have we met before?
-No.
-Only I forget. They give me pills, you know, to keep me... even... and... I forget things,
-Well, you didn't forget me. I just came because I wanted to know if you knew a man called Butterfield.
-Maybe... I... don't...
-What about Philip Swann?
-Why's that?
-He said he knew how to protect us. But he didn't know anything. He made us think it was over and done with.
-What is?
-I don't want to think about it. If I think about it he'll hear me. He'll find me.
-He's not! He's not!
-Nix! Nix!
-Is he the Puritan?
-Yes! Yes!
-And he's dead?
-I've got so much power to give you, Swann. All you have to do is...beg.
-Fuck you.
-You don't think I've got it to give?
-Don't touch me. He's got... got into my head.
-Swann? What are you doing?
-And?
-You could still help me do that.
-Why would I want to?
-Because you've got nothing else to live for.
-Not true.
-You know I'll kill you when we're done. I have to.
-Yes.
-But until then... it's you and me... the way it always was.
-Wait... you still feel something for that bitch?
-No!
-Can you get me on a flight Thursday night?
-We're looking into it Bob, but they really want you to stay to do that talk show Friday, apparently it's a really big deal, he's the Johnny Carson of Japan.
-Yeah, they told me.
-These people are paying you a lot, do you think you could consider it?
-Just get me out of here as soon as you can.
-Ok, you're scheduled to leave Saturday, but we'll hold a seat Thursday in case, but first class is full, you're waitlisted for an upgrade... there might be a seat on Lufthansa...
-Hello?
-Bob, it's me.
-Oh, hi, Elaine.
-So, we got you on an earlier flight, but I really think you should think about staying for that talk show.
-Ok.
-You'll do it?
-What are you doing here?
-What about you? Why are you here?
-My husband's here for work-he's a photographer- and I just came along...I'm not really doing anything right now, and we have some friends who live here.
-How long have you been married?
-Two years.
-Try twenty-five.
-You're probably just having a mid- life crisis. Did you buy a Porche?
-I'm thinking about it.
-25 years... that's a long time... Are you still in love with your wife?
-Yes... I don't know, I don't know her anymore. I don't know if you can be in love with one person the whole time. I was... actually I was in love with her sister first, when I was twenty-one. And one day her sister said to me she wanted to move to Paris, so I said okay, and she said no, she wanted to
-Oh.
-What do you do?
-I'm not sure, yet... I graduated last spring.
-What did you study?
-Philosophy.
-Oh, what do you do with that?
-I don't know, but I can think about it, a lot.
-It takes a while to figure it out. I'm sure you will, though.
-Thanks. I'm sure your mid-life crisis will work out,too.
-Hi again, how's it going?
-Oh, hi.
-Hi. Did you have a nice swim?
-Yeah. Did you get some sleep?
-No, how about you?
-Not really. How long are you here for?
-I'm here for the week.
-Oh, good. Do you want to go to a party tonight with me and some friends who live here?
-Ok.
-You really are having a mid-life crisis.
-A Soul's Search: Finding Your True Calling - are you reading this?
-Charlie, this is Bob. Bob — Charlie Brown.
-What do you feel like singing, Bob?
-I could cut the ones that are left for you.
-I don't want to go home.
-Hello?
-It's Charlotte.
-Charlotte, who?
-Of course.
-Yeah, I'm going to take a shower and I'll meet you downstairs.
-Hey look, it's Sausalito.
-Hans was very attentive to you.
-I think he kind of liked me...Is that so hard to imagine?
-No, its easy.
-How'd a Japanese guy get a name like Hans?
-Do you remember when we met at the bar? ...You were wearing a tuxedo.
-But the first time I saw you was in the elevator.
-Really?
-Did I scowl at you?
-No, you smiled.
-I don't remember.
-Why do they switch the r's and l's here?
-I don't know. My fax said "have a good fright".
-Let's never come here again, because it would never be as much fun.
-Ok, whatever you want.
-Did you see Hiromix last night dancing with Bambi?
-No, I was looking at you.
-Oh. Well... they were dancing on the couch with that weird English guy who kept talking about hanging out with the Sex Pistols on Kings Road...
-I got a fax today from your friend Hiromix.
-Oh, for her show?
-No, for a candlelight dinner, yes, for her show.
-Oh.
-You're possessive.
-I'm stuck. Does it get easier.
-No, yes, it does...
-Yeah? But look at you.
-Thanks. It does, the more you know who you are... you don't care about things the same way...
-I just don't know what I'm supposed to be. I thought maybe I wanted to be a writer... but I hate what I write, and I tried taking pictures, but John's so good at that, and mine are so mediocre... and every girl goes through a photography phase, like horses, you know dumb pictures of your feet...
-You'll figure it out. I'm not worried about you. Keep writing.
-But, I'm mean.
-That's ok.
-And marriage, does that get easier?
-It's hard. We started going to a marriage counselor.
-Did that help? Did you learn anything?
-We established that we have no communication.
-Oh.
-We used to have fun, she used to like to go to places with me for my movies and we would laugh at all the weirdos, but now she's tired of it all. She never wants to leave the kids, she doesn't need me, and they don't need me, I feel like I'm in the way. It gets complicated when you have kids... that
-That's too scary.
-When they're born its like Vietnam. It's terrifying.
-No one ever tells you that...
-But, it's great being with them, after they can talk, and can do things with you.
-That's nice. My parents were always traveling, they weren't around so much.
-Where'd you grow up?
-I know.
-John thinks I'm so snotty.
-You are.
-Why do you have to be with your opposite, why cant similar people be together?
-You made it.
-It's for my daughter.
-How old is she?
-Four.
-Nice one.
-What happened to your toe?
-It's bad isn't it?
-We should get you to the doctor.
-You think so?
-Where's your husband?
-Working.
-Do you ever see him?
-Yeah.
-Do you know where we are?
-I'm going to Daikanyama, do you want to come walk around?
-Oh, I guess you're busy, huh.
-You can't get sushi anywhere in Japan after 2 o'clock. Did you know that?
-Well, I guess she's more around your age... You guys could talk about things in common, like growing up in the fifties.
-What do you want to drink?
-So, where'd you go today.
-I'm sorry.
-When are you leaving?
-Tomorrow.
-I'm going to miss you.
-That's what you said the other night.
-I don't want to go back tomorrow.
-I know. But, it doesn't last, you have to go back sometime.
-Why can't it last?
-Charlotte?
-Hi, Bob.
-I'm just leaving.... do you have my jacket?
-Uh, yeah... I'll bring it down.
-Just saying good-bye to everyone before you leave?
-You're leaving right now?
-Yes.
-Well... have a good flight.
-Thanks.
-Why are you crying?
-Mr. Harris?
-Yes?
-Mr. Kazuzo sent me.
-Oh?
-Mr. Harris?
-Yes?
-Do you like massage?
-I don't think so.
-My stockings.
-Yes?
-Lydia?
-Hello, darling.
-Lydia, I went to this great house tonight, this guy designed and built, you would have loved it.
-Oh, yeah? I wish I had seen it.
-He was this fashion guy, and there were all these Japanese fashion people- it's a whole other world, and I was talking to these Japanese surfers... He was playing all this great music- I have to find out what it was...
-Yeah, its really different here.
-Well, that's good, I have to get the kids off for school. Can I call you in a little while?
-It's four in the morning... I'm going to go to sleep.
-Ok, well... I love you.
-I love you, too, good-night, or good- morning .
-Hello?
-Bob?
-Hi, Lydia.
-Is this a bad time?
-Uh, no.
-It's really hard to reach you... Did you get the carpet samples? I like the burgundy.
-Ok, whatever you think... I'm lost.
-It's just carpet.
-That's not what I'm talking about.
-What are you talking about?
-I don't know.
-Is there anything I can do?
-I don't know... I want to be more healthy. I want to eat better.
-What?
-You know, eat healthier.
-Alright?
-Not all that pasta.
-Fine.
-Like Japanese food.
-Why don't you just stay there, and you can have it everyday.
-Oh, come on.
-I have to go, Adam's tormenting Zoe, I'll talk to you later. Are you going to be Ok?
-Hello?
-Hello, Bob, it's me.
-Hello?
-It's Lydia, your wife.
-I couldn't hear you. How are you?
-Fine. Is it going ok?
-It's ok.
-Do you want to-
-What?
-Do you want to talk to Zoe?
-Yeah.
-I guess she's busy.
-That's ok.
-When are you coming home?
-Tomorrow.
-Her ballet recital is Saturday, don't forget.
-Ok, well, travel safely. See you soon.
-Hello?
-Mr. Harris, we have fax for you!
-Ok.
-Do you want I send it to your room?
-Great.
-How do you say "hospital" in Japanese?
-Excuse me?
-Hospital?
-Hello? Yes?
-Hello, can I have room 5601.
-Evelyn Waugh?
-What?
-Its just a pseudonym, it doesn't matter.
-Why do you have to defend her?
-I'm not, but do you have to point out how stupid everyone is.
-How'd it go today?
-I gotta go meet Kelly for a drink downstairs. She wants to talk about some photo thing.
-Ok. Maybe I'll walk down with you.
-You wanna come?
-Sure.
-No, what are you talking about.
-I went to a temple today and I didn't feel anything.
-I don't know what to do.
-You smell weird.
-Like popcorn?
-Hair stuff?
-See you later.
-Yeah.
-Do you think it's done?
-Will you please stop smoking?
-But I like to... and I don't smoke that much.
-Its bad for you.
-A Soul's Search: Finding Your True Character and calling? Is this yours?
-Oh... that's nothing, someone gave it to me.
-You don't have to be embarrassed.
-I'm not. It's just corny, but I'm not into it.
-Oh, the record company sent these...
-Mmm, I love Cristal, let's have some.
-Are you sure you want to stay?
-Yeah, I know you have to work the whole time, I'll probably have more fun here. I'll call Charlie and those guys.
-I miss you.
-Lauren?
-Charlotte?! How's Tokyo?
-Oh, wait, can you hold on one sec?
-Oh, it's nothing... I better go, I'll talk to you later.
-Ok, have fun there, you're so lucky you don't have any kids yet and you can go off to Japan... call me when you get back.
-John! What are you doing here?
-I'm just here shooting this band, what about you?
-...doing like twenty million interviews a day... It's soo good to see you. How long are you here for?
-We're here for the week. I'm shooting in Osaka for a few days.
-It's amazing there!
-Have you met Charlotte? My wife.
-Uh..thanks.
-Oh no...
-I missed you.
-How'd your interview go? I'm sure you charmed the hell out of Sally.
-It's great of you to let William and Susan stay at the house until he gets on his feet.
-You never said anything to me...
-Shi... Sorry, honey. I was having the weirdest dream.
-Bad?
-Weird. The book again. Sex spelled backwards...
-I must really be slacking off. Hungry?
-Uh...sure...I...what?
-I can't believe it's already starting to get dark so early.
-Hmmm.
-Peter, where are you?
-Sorry. It's just...a strange woman waltzes into my office today. Tells me she murdered her parents and can prove Satan exists.
-Did she waltz in or fly on little bat wings?
-Says she can get me in to see this killer.
-Oh, Peter, you're going to pursue this.
-Hey, what are you doing here in the middle of the day?
-Forgot my car keys. What are you doing on the fourth floor?
-I spaced out.
-What? That's horrible!
-Yeah, I appreciate it. Thanks, Josef.
-I'm still shaking.
-I can't believe Will killed him.
-I'm gonna have to get a restraining order. What a nightmare.
-You're glad somebody tried to kill me?
-No, of course not, but I think now that this has happened, a lot of things can start to come out...
-Yeah, like...
-Like you need to admit that losing your parents when you were twelve was traumatic.
-It's with me all the time, Claire, I just don't like to talk about it.
-Well, it shattered your faith in everything.
-I'm just temporarily off my game.
-You need to believe in something besides yourself.
-There you are! My God, darling, I've been so worried. Are you alright?
-Claire...
-What're these?
-I don't know. What are they?
-I found them in your file box.
-Must be a spare set.
-Honey, you're exhausted. Do you want to lie down for a little while?
-She's been stalking you, Peter.
-Listen to me, I love you, Peter, I'm trying to protect you!
-You really had me going, Claire. I was finally ready to propose to you.
-What a...jerk!
-Nonsense, it's all of our home. So how's work treating you?
-Frustrating. Form over content. Everything's so retro.
-...you wearing a watch, Father?
-You know, I made a reservation at Marco's for Peter's birthday dinner, but maybe you should cater it.
-What time did you make it for?
-Yes.
-And how would you describe him?
-Quiet. Real quiet...
-And on the day of the murders, his state of mind?
-Seemed...on edge.
-On the day of the murders what did the defendant request?
-He asked to go home early. He said he was bothered by all the people who kept telling him what to do.
-Tell the jury how many people work in that office with you and Mr. Viznick.
-George, come in. What the hell happened to you?
-It's nothing.
-Sure it is. If the guards did this, we can file charges.
-Not the guards. Some of the prisoners are easily disturbed.
-I can take care of myself.
-Mr. Kelson, what a pleasure to meet you. I have to say your instincts about the criminally insane are impeccable. I am a fan.
-When your secretary called, she made no mention of her coming, too.
-My secretary?
-You're aware that this woman was party to the so-called exorcism.
-No, I wasn't, actually.
-So you don't believe his condition is the result of anything supernatural?
-Your court order, Dr. Allen.
-You know I'm not comfortable with this.
-But your patient is legally entitled to it.
-This patient has been plagued with temporal lobe seizures.
-It's the patient's request, doctor.
-I'm aware of that, but I don't think he's in any condition to make requests. I'm trying to appeal to your more...logical self, Father. I'm concerned about harm to my patient.
-Father Jeremy and Deacon John Townsend of St. Ursula's, and our associate, Maya Larkin. Secular assistants are permitted if regarded as qualified. Maya is eminently qualified.
-Dr. Allen, could you please tell Mr. Kelson what you heard as you tried to enter Mr. Birdson's room?
-I certainly hope you're not lending any credence to this.
-The patient was in great distress. Naturally he was...yelling.
-And was he in distress when you opened the door? Or was he sitting here, relaxed, at this table?
-There is a medical explanation for everything that happened.
-I don't mean to belittle you, but we've been through this before. Satan is not what you think he is. Satan is not some creature.
-You weren't there. Give me time to get some proof.
-Please, Maya. I'm trying to get us into the next century and you insist on this medieval nonsense.
-If you really believe in God, why is it so inconceivable that his enemy is just as real?
-The doctor's concerned he may never come out of this dementia.
-He will. He has great faith.
-Is he going to be okay?
-I've had it. Townsend's dead. The police are calling and now I see you having a scene in front of the children. I'm sorry, Maya, you've been with us for many years, but effective immediately, I'm rescinding your right to live at the church.
-Father, I have nowhere else to stay.
-You'll do it?
-How're you doing? Looking lovely as always.
-Between your book sales and this TV thing, there's going to be no living with you. And let me guess, you boiled God down to a conceit.
-You know how I feel. The world is random. The only certainty I believe in is death.
-What is it?
-Something he said, just before...
-He spoke to you?
-Yeah. It didn't make any sense.
-Listen to me, Peter. You can't let the ravings of a madman disturb you, okay?
-You're right, but it's funny. All my life I thought I was simply a man who didn't believe in any of it.
-No matter, my son, he believes in you.
-But it's true. I have no faith. It's strange. When that gun was pointed at my face tonight, I was surprised, but never frightened. It was as if I knew nothing could possibly happen to me and...in that one moment I didn't care about anything. Not eve my own life.
-Peter. Your life must matter to you because it matters to all of us who love you.
-You fucking bastard.
-Don't you get it? They had their 2,000 years. Now it's our turn.
-So all that bullshit about God and faith.
-It was perfect. The harder I pushed, the more you pulled away.
-You lied to me my whole life. Everything you said, everything you did.
-Everything I did, I did for you. I love you, Peter. Think of it. I'm giving you a gift, absolute power and knowledge.
-You raised me, like a son.
-You are my son. Don't you see the opportunity that lies before you?
-You killed my parents.
-Why are you doing this to me?
--- you wouldn't last five minutes.
-...the ark sank, the sun set, the ark sank again.
-Father, I'm right here.
-Father! Thank God you're better! I really need your help. We've only got a few more hours.
-Don't worry...about the transformation, Maya.
-What do you mean "don't worry?"
-So...we won?
-We won because Christ...triumphed over Satan?
-Um hm. That's right, Maya.
-So, if Christ won, that means, what does that mean, Father? That Satan...
-So I guess Satan lost. Satan is the weak one.
-Father, please don't die.
-Hi, I'd like to make an appointment for Peter Kelson.
-I took one of those home pregnancy tests, but I don't want to tell him. I'm RH negative. My blood type is negative... If he's RH positive, I'll have to terminate.
-How many weeks are you honey/
-Thirteen. The last time, can you believe it? This is how he says "Goodbye?"
-You need his blood-type. Like right away.
-Well I know he's come here before.
-What's his name?
-Peter...Peter Kelson.
-You just call?
-Two negatives always make a positive.
-Oh my God!
-May I help you?
-Peter Kelson?
-Yes... and you are?
-I saw you on television yesterday. You were brilliant.
-You said that malignant narcissism was not evil.
-Not pure evil. That's correct.
-And also that...
-Listen, I'm sorry, but I'm running late.
-That there is no such thing as evil with a capital "E."
-Not the most popular opinion, but yes.
-A narcissist doesn't admit it. It's the extreme of self-denial.
-And I also believe in God and the Devil. In fact, I know they exist.
-Well, by saying that, you're acknowledging the existence of a higher power. Which, to a narcissist, is impossible.
-Ooooooh-kayyyyyy.
-In the end, the jury saw it my way.
-Well, then it all seems to be working out for you. Listen, Ms...?
-Do you remember Henry Birdson? The math professor who won the Salwen Medal, then went home and killed his family?
-What's that got to do with you?
-Last week the Catholic Church certified him as genuinely possessed. You realize how rarely they make that ruling?
-I do.
-An exorcism was just held for Birdson. It failed. Disastrously. Which means there's still a demonic spirit present in his body. I was wondering, perhaps you'd like to go meet Henry. He's pretty amazing.
-I'll bet.
-On television, you seemed so sure of yourself. If you're really that confident, you'd be willing to let someone prove you wrong?
-The world would be so much simpler if it were all just about good and evil. Unfortunately I find it much more slippery and elusive place.
-So...what did you think of the tape.
-I think you gave me the wrong one.
-What do you mean?
-You're sure? There was nothing?
-So what'd I miss?
-Where do you get off pretending to be my secretary?
-I had to.
-And this is evil? The guy had an aneurysm and now he's in a coma.
-That's their explanation. You might not believe me...
-We need to talk.
-Last night a guy named John Townsend tried to shoot me and now I find out you knew him. What the fuck is going on?
-Why did he try to kill me?
-And the point is?
-At the exorcism, Birdson boasted that Satan is about to take over the body of a man. You are that man, Peter.
-What?!?!
-It's true. Birdson knew your name, he was writing it in numerical code. It wasn't easy but I figured it out. It spelled your name.
-Why didn't Birdson just say so?
-If you're possessed, you can't reveal anything Satan wants hidden. Unless you trick him.
-Trick him.
-The good outwitting the bad. It's like Birdson had a split personality.
-You should think about getting professional help.
-You're already contaminated. It's why you couldn't hear the tape. There's probably a pentacle near your bed. To sanctify you.
-I'm not going to be drawn into this.
-I know this sounds crazy. I understand. Check your parents' blood types. Are you sure your parents are your birth parents?
-You're about to become the anti-Christ who is born unholy and becomes the door to eternal suffering in this world.
-I don't understand what's going on.
-There's no reason why you should. This has been planned from your birth. You fit all the criteria that we know of. Never baptized, born of incest, devoid of faith...
-But I was baptized. And I certainly wasn't born of incest.
-You were not baptized. At least I don't believe it was Christian. Your baptism was performed by your uncle, James McKenzie.
-Yes, I know.
-The only baptism he ever performed in seven years as pastor at Bedford.
-So what?
-Seven years. One baptism? He's your mother's only brother
-Do you know your parents' blood types?
-I looked at the coroner's report. My father's O positive and my mother...A negative.
-Peter, your blood-type is AB negative. There's no way your birth father can be O positive. You father is not who you think he is.
-So...then the coroner's report is probably wrong. I mean...this is ridiculous. There's been a mistake. I don't believe any of this.
-Peter, I believe your baptism was perverted. Look at your certificate. Your mother was the only witness to it. Your blood-type doesn't match who you thought your father was. Peter...I'm sorry.
-And if what you're saying is true, what would happen to me?
-When Townsend tried to kill me, he said something strange like... "The time of transformation is near..."
-What are you looking for exactly?
-We needed to know all we could.
-Nothing yet.
-Get up!!
-Peter, let go of the chair!
-You okay?
-When's your birthday?
-Hang on, get it up, go on, higher.
-It'll happen at the exact time of your birth.
-He couldn't stop us and that's how he was punished. Peter, what time were you born?
-There's nothing else here.
-What's the bible for?
-Are you alright?
-Sometimes, when I feel weak, I have these...visions.
-What do you mean?
-I'm scared I'm slipping back.
-We're going to do this.
-You have to say that.
-Why did you lie to me about your parents' deaths?
-Close call. For the first time in a long time, it's really hitting me. Life's tenuous.
-I know it is. Right after my parents died, I went to the beach... I was in the water. Everything was calm. And then one of those really big waves hit me. Hard. Pulled me straight to the bottom. I struggled and finally ran out of air. If it hadn't been for my sister who pulled me out, I would've drowned. Legally dead for
-No oxygen to the brain.
-Maybe that's my problem.
-Why didn't you just go along with Townsend. Get rid of me. I would've...
-Until it happens, you're still a human being.
-What about after?
-Plenty of time.
-What are these?
-I don't know. Extra apartment keys. What's it matter?
-Maybe I should check Lareaux's book. It's in the car. Be right back. Don't go anywhere.
-What can I do?
-I'll be all right. Peter, at the very end, I think Father was back. I saw it in his eyes.
-So, what does it mean. The ark sank and the sun set?
-He's been repeating that since Birdson's exorcism. I looked in every passage in the Bible and there's nothing about an ark or a sunset that tells us anything.
-What did he say to you in French?
-That's his, I don't know, his 'grounding' phrase for me, "together, no matter what."
-He was trying to tell me something.
-Book five, Deuteronomy, chapter seven, verse five. "But this shall you deal with them. You shall break down their altars and burn their graven images with fire."
-How much time do we have?
-Oh, Peter.
-Good seeing you again.
-Hello?
-I know who he is.
-Maya? What do you mean?
-And what are you thinking we should do now?
-I've filed a report with Father Frank.
-A lot of good that'll do.
-We need all the help we can get.
-I've dealt with these people before, Maya. They're not going to help us.
-We'll see Father Frank in the morning. There's nothing to be done until then.
-It's useless...look at him.
-You can't back out on me now. We need to be sure.
-You don't want to face it.
-Look, John, I'm facing it.
-I'd appreciate it if you'd put that back.
-But she worships you. Your mother's dead but your father's alive.
-Nothing you couldn't find out from reading the papers. And you're already wrong on one count.
-You know what? You can go.
-You do know, don't you. That these are also numbers. Greek numbers, 600, 60 and 6 - or 666. The sign of the Devil.
-Get out of here.
-Mr. Kelson, here's the stuff you wanted on pathological narcissism.
-What about that psychic, what's his name, Szabo?
-He can see you Thursday.
-I think it's gonna be a waste of time.
-The police used him as a witness in this case.
-I'll be at Bedford tonight, if you need me.
-I plan to. You want a tip?
-Lemme guess. The lottery.
-Sometimes I can just feel the numbers.
-You know what they say. You have the same chance of winning whether you play or not.
-Yeah.
-Good of you to stop by.
-As a part of today's story on the trial of mass murderer George Viznick, we welcome Peter Kelson, author of the current best-seller, VICIOUS INTENT. Thank you for joining us, Peter.
-Thanks for having me, Sally.
-Peter, you're now writing a book about the Viznick case. You seem to be making a career of studying sensational murderers. I have to ask, how does it make you feel when you sit in courtrooms day after day, face to face with alleged killers?
-Well, long-term exposure to things like this tends to give you a sort of clinical understanding of the subject. After awhile, you begin to make friends with it, so to speak.
-It's as if you are saying the closer you get to evil, the less evil it becomes.
-No, the less mystifying. Good and evil are only illusions. There is no such thing as evil with a capital "E." That suggests some third party bad guy pulling all the strings.
-You're referring to the defense's efforts to prove that George Viznick is tormented by "demonic voices?"
-There weren't any voices.
-Not even from some mental illness, as the prosecution asserts?
-As if there's another cause for little voices? No, Sally, Viznick's a manipulator, he's clever, he has what I call malignant narcissism.
-What do you mean by that?
-Well, we all have a degree of narcissism, Sally, but a malignant narcissist is dangerously self-obsessed.
-Are you saying he's legally sane?
-Well, George Viznick is in the grayest of gray areas in the sanity spectrum. Viznick is not psychotic. He's simply unable to submit to any higher authority.
-Meaning, Viznick's a man who answers to no one. Not even God.
-Right. If you believe in God. As a narcissist, Viznick couldn't blame himself for the alleged murders. He created the voices after the fact. In order to avoid the simple truth that there is no outside force that guides George Viznick and that George Viznick needs to pay.
-Would you sign it for me?
-Hey! Mr. big shot.
-Mike. Oh, the christening. I meant to call...
-So, Viznick's got a meet with his lawyer in the ayem.
-Really? You know, seeing these guys away from the court, the facade slips. You catch things.
-What's this?
-Seems George isn't making too many friends in lockup.
-Yeah, look at that sweet face. You'd never guess he killed nine people. I'm gonna get my smokes. Be right back.
-What's the matter with you?
-He could see me.
-Thanks for handling this.
-Thanks again for everything.
-What's up?
-How're you doin' today?
-It's another day. I think I'm alright.
-She came to me with a wild story about demonic possession.
-She's got a juvenile record from New Orleans. Parents died when she was 13.
-Parents died?
-Yeah, murder-suicide.
-What happened?
-Mother killed the father, then killed herself. Crime of passion.
-She told me she killed them.
-We hauled her in earlier but didn't have anything hard to tie her to Townsend. Far as the priest goes, he won't be bothering you. Suffered a complete mental breakdown, during - get this - during an exorcism.
-Where is she now?
-Monica, what did you do?
-Nothing.
-Ah, Mom.
-I hate it.
-Fine, you don't like this one, which one would you rather wear?
-nothing.
-I don't know why I keep hoping you'll grow out of this tomboy thing.
-That's not funny
-Well, that's what you think, isn't it? Cause I'd rather wear a jersey than an apron...
-Taste this.
-I can't eat before a game.
-You really should be a caterer or something like you used to say.
-What?
-What?
-Monica. What are you doing here?
-Didn't know I needed a reason to come home.
-Don't be defensive. I'm just surprised to see you.
-Dad around?
-What?
-Hi.
-Need any help?
-Yeah. Can't wait to see him I just saw Quincy.
-How is he?
-Engaged.
-To that stewardess?
-Yeah, you met her?
-His mother had a cookout a few weeks ago. He could do a lot better if you ask me.
-So what do I do?
-Find out where they're registered and send them a gift.
-Whatever.
-You didn't want my opinion in the first place, so why even ask?
-I asked but why does it always have to be so damn prissy.
-Don't curse.
-There you go.
-So that's why we can't get along? Because I'd rather shoot a "dumb" jump shot?
-You're the one always turning your nose up at me.
-No I don't.
-Child, please. Ever since you were little you thought you were too good for anything I had to say.
-I wasn't Lena. I didn't care about nail polish or lip gloss or sneaking a spray of your perfume.
-What was so wrong with wanting to teach you the things I knew could help you?
-Because you're pushing me to be something I'm not.
-I'm angry because I want a mother, not Martha Stewart.
-Oh, yes. The superstar female athlete whose mother is nothing but a housewife.
-That's not it.
-I remember when I was eight years old, you spent like four hours cooking up this fancy meal. All you'd let me and Lena do was set the table. And I guess you and Dad got your wires crossed or something because he walks in with a couple of pizzas. And you didn't say anything. You just threw the whole meal into some tupper-ware
-I don't remember that.
-I do. You never stood up for yourself. Ever. If I was ashamed, it was because of that.
-That's ridiculous.
-That's all you cared about. I must have played in a thousand games and I can only remember you being to two.
-You had your coaches and your father for that stuff. It never mattered one way or the other if I went to your games.
-What are you talking about?
-She needs to stop running around like a little boy.
-She's alright.
-How is she alright looking the way she does?
-Which one for tomorrow?
-The blue.
-Okay.
-When you're done can you make sure she brushes her teeth?
-Are you okay?
-...and if you want a thicker base, you can cut in a potato or just use a little flour.
-So that means it's alright for you to act like that?
-So you're still breast-feeding?
-You might want to put a jacket on him, it's getting cold.
-He's fine.
-...we moved back here when Quincy was about five, after Zeke was traded. Neighborhood was a little more mixed back then...
-Until the Black family down the street became the Black family next door.
-Well, thanks again. This was really nice of you.
-Oh, me too. I used to cook for my friends' parties and things back in Atlanta.
-You're a caterer?
-You know, girl, long as I've lived next door, I've never seen the inside of this house.
-I can take it.
-What?
-Coach...
-You could've given up after you threw that ball away. But you kept your head and you showed real heart.
-Thanks.
-We've got our final games against Oregon and Oregon State and I want to shake things up a bit, so I'm starting you at point again.
-I thought Sidra's ankle was okay for next game.
-What?
-It's just...it seems like you're always yelling at me.
-Can I take your coat?
-No, I mean I can check it for you.
-I'm an English major. You like English?
-Sort of.
-Careful.
-Huh?
-Sorry.
-My mouth is kinda dry.
-That was nice.
-Uh-huh.
-Wait...
-Quincy, word has it you might make the jump the NBA.
-Don't go starting rumors, Jim. My son's college bound with or without basketball.
-You could make a career by telling me where.
-Gotta wait til the press conference.
-But you'd love for him to play at USC, like you did.
-I'm so sorry. No one would switch flights with me.
-It's okay.
-Hello.
-Kyra, this is Monica. She, uh...
-It means a lot that you came by.
-Damn, girl.
-What?
-I don't wanna see that.
-So how long is this trip?
-Nah.
-Why not?
-You might be the only one with a job.
-Baby, don't talk like that. Your rehab's going well. You'll be back before you know it.
-Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Busting my ass, for what?
-To do what you love.
-I don't know sometimes.
-You're just scared. I know rehab is hard, and you have to worry about whether you'll be as good as you were but you will be. I believe in you. You just have to get back on the court. Like you'd get back on a horse.
-A horse?
-That too tight?
-No.
-Mom's going to hate it.
-Always on my ass, anyway.
-Like you don't give her a hard time.
-You need to. She's alone in this house all day, taking care of Dad and your ungrateful behind.
-No one's forcing her.
-So what's going on with the Spring Dance? You have a date yet?
-Yeah, brothers are lined up at my locker.
-I found you someone.
-Found? I'm not some charity case.
-I know...
-Mom tell you to do this?
-No.
-Damn, Lena... Who is he?
-This brother from my college.
-He's in college?
-And he's fine, girl.
-How'd you get him to say yes?
-I told him you looked like me.
-Oh, great.
-You do.
-Yeah, right.
-I don't know how to walk in heels.
-You ever been in love?
-Too many times.
-They ever love you back?
-Dad, you have to talk to Coach for me.
-And what am I supposed to say to the man?
-The coach from Tennessee was there and he has me riding the bench.
-You lost your head.
-Monica, I think her point is...maybe it's time to start thinking about other things besides basketball.
-What?
-You only have one game left and you haven't been recruited. Munchkin, I wanted it as bad as you did, but we have to face reality.
-The coach from USC is going to be at the championship.
-I know. But chances are...
-Hey, munchkin.
-Dad. What are you doing here?
-I was upstairs for a meeting. I've been hearing good things about you.
-That tends to happen when you're the boss's daughter.
-You shoot like a girl.
-Coach hates me, doesn't she?
-What's up with that?
-Hey, don't take it personal. And don't think just cause we play the same position we have to compete with each other. We're teammates, okay?
-Thanks, Sidra.
-That's what you get for trying to show out, freshman.
-I was just playing ball.
-You were trying to make me look bad.
-What's up?
-Just wanted to say good game.
-But?
-No buts. Took a lot of heart to take that charge.
-Thanks.
-I know.
-Just one word of advice for next season.
-What's that?
-Well, what do you know.
-What's up, Sidra.
-I'm gonna love winning this championship in your house.
-Can you take that damn thing off the table.
-Yeah, four years ago. They had me staying in this tiny-ass town with like fifty people. I'm not playing, there was about a thousand goats running around, and it gets dark at four o'clock. Then the whack club I'm on loses three games in a row and I get blamed. So they fire me.
-Just like that?
-Yup. So I've been playing with this Italian club the last three years.
-How's that been?
-So what are these Spanish guys like?
-I wouldn't know.
-What? You've been over here seven months and you ain't tapped anything?
-Just not my type, I guess.
-You ever think about going back?
-One, up.
-Told you I was nice. I'm going to be the first girl in the NBA.
-So...does it hurt?
-It's this big hole. You could almost see bone.
-For real?
-So how come you could play basketball?
-I just can.
-I never knew a girl that could play.
-My Mom says she doesn't know where I come from 'cause I act different.
-Your Dad play?
-He works at a bank.
-My Dad plays for the "Clippers." He says I'ma be a doctor or a lawyer, but I'ma play for them, too. Same number and everything.
-I'm going to be number thirty-two, like Magic.
-He's alright, but my Dad can take him.
-What was the most points your Daddy ever got in Junior High?
-I don't know. A lot.
-One time Magic scored forty-eight points, and they only had six minute quarters and he sat out the whole fourth.
-You do act different.
-I don't care.
-Well, if anybody bothers you, you could just tell me cause I run this street.
-I'd just tell my sister, Lena.
-What do I have to do?
-I guess, you know, we play ball and we ride to school together. And if you get mad at me, I gotta give you flowers.
-I don't like flowers.
-Oh.
-How bout Twinkies? My mom won't ever buy them.
-Kay.
-I think we gotta kiss now.
-For how long?
-I want to ride my own bike.
-My Dad always drives my Mom.
-So?
-I don't have to do what you say.
-Man, forget you then, stupid.
-What?
-Last time they won, Dr. J. was a nurse.
-Way to hoop.
-I know this. What do you want?
-A ride home.
-Your legs don't look broke.
-Look, big head, I'll be at your car.
-Guess "please" would be a stretch.
-What's that?
-Some note Shawnee Easton told me to give to you.
-Why she gotta be a ho, just cause she wants to get with me.
-She's a ho cause she's sending her coochie through the mail.
-And?
-And? She's not saying, "I think you're a nice guy and I wanna get to know you better," she's saying, "I wanna bone."
-So she's honest.
-Yeah, an honest tramp-ass ho. But I guess you'll stick your dick in anything.
-Didn't know you cared so much.
-I don't.
-So who you going to the dance with, Spalding?
-See, that's why you ain't getting recruited.
-Who said I'm not getting recruited?
-I'm not the one who put this scar here.
-God, here we go.
-That's it, give it your best shot.
-Would you watch the damn road?
-I mean it, give it your best shot, cause I'm tired of you holding that over my head.
-I'm warning you, don't tempt me.
-Please, you jump in some guy's face, talk smack and you get a pat on your ass. But because I'm a female, I get told to calm down and act like a "lady". I'm a ballplayer, okay. A ball player.
-With a jacked-up attitude.
-Didn't know you cared so much.
-I don't.
-See you made it.
-Yeah.
-You don't look half-bad.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-You having fun?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, the DJ's kinda whack, though. So who is this clown?
-He ain't Spalding.
-Guess not.
-Early night for you, isn't it?
-Mulholland Drive.
-Figures.
-So what dead-end street did you and Shawnee hit?
-None of your business.
-Well, I'm sure she kept her word and left you satisfied.
-Why?
-Four.
-What?
-When'd you get this?
-It was on my bed when I came in. Can you just...?
-What was that about?
-You finish the reading for E-con?
-Yeah.
-What'd it say?
-Basically broke down how I'm gonna make mad loot in the NBA, me being such a limited commodity and all.
-What?
-You do see me standing here, right?
-I can't be nice to a fan?
-Fine, Quincy.
-I can't help girls coming up to me.
-It's okay, little baby.
-Forget Tonya Randall.
-I'm telling you, Coach wishes she was here instead of me.
-Then prove her wrong.
-I don't have it easy like you, alright. There's no red carpet laid out for me.
-That was so weak.
-So how about a little one-on-one?
-What are we playing for?
-Clothes.
-Give me the ball.
-Kiss my booty.
-Yo, where's the "D"?
-I won.
-Don't put your hands in your pockets, hold your head up, always look a man in the eye, and all the time I'm hanging on his every word like he's God or something...
-I know he messed up, but that doesn't change what he's been to you.
-What has he been to me? I mean, he looked me in my face and lied like it was nothing. Like it was easy. And I'm standing there getting loud on my mom like she's the one with no sense...
-She understands.
-He even had me wanting to play for the "Clippers." Man, how stupid am I.
-You're not stupid.
-Nothing. Why don't we walk to my dorm?
-I'm not up for running into anybody. Let's just kick it here, alright?
-I...can't.
-Why not?
-Didn't realize you were watching the clock.
-I mean, I can stay a few more minutes.
-Nah. Don't sweat it.
-Quincy...
-Hey.
-What's up?
-I've been trying to find you all day.
-Sorry about your game.
-he's just playing, Q...
-Who was that?
-Nobody.
-Who's nobody?
-Look, this party's whack. You ready to go?
-You want to go talk?
-You know what, I'm just gonna crash.
-Fine...Maybe I'll come by later.
-Hey.
-Hey, what's up.
-You weren't at my game.
-Yeah, I hit a three at the buzzer.
-The "man" again.
-Oh, Kerry, this is Monica. Monica, Kerry.
-What the hell's going on?
-We're going to get some food.
-Can we talk?
-Talk to your new girlfriend.
-I just took the ho to Burger King, alright.
-Cheap date.
-Least she had time for me.
-So you fucked around to prove a point!
-I just said I didn't fuck around. But you got your head so far up your ass it took a cheap date for you to notice me.
-What, "Q-man", did I forget to kiss your ass like everybody else?
-You forgot to be there.
-That night you wanted to talk about your Dad I had a curfew. What was I supposed to do?
-Stay!
-If I stayed, I wouldn't be starting!
-Least you got your priorities straight.
-I never asked you to choose.
-Never had to.
-I'm a ballplayer. If anyone knows what that means it should be you.
-How do I know next time you're feeling neglected or whatever, you're not going to run around on me? If we're going to be together I have to be able to trust you.
-What?
-I'm going through a lot of shit right now, more than you have time for.
-How are you going to tell me what I have time for? I mean, whatever I did...we can fix this.
-I don't think so.
-You don't think so?
-Look, I'm entering the draft.
-You're what?
-When did you decide all this?
-Few days ago.
-So that's it, just forget about us?
-So...I guess I'll see you around.
-Alright. I heard you were in Spain.
-Just something I'm trying.
-No, it looks good. I mean, it's cool.
-Shouldn't you be lying down, or...
-I'm alright. But you can sit.
-I'm fine. My dad said you tore your ACL.
-Yup.
-What are the doctors saying?
-A lot of things. All I know is I'll be back in six months.
-I thought a torn ACL was ten to twelve.
-Not for Quincy McCall.
-So, how's pro-ball, Europe?
-We won the championship.
-Still working on being the first girl in the NBA?
-Well, I tried sneaking in after college, but they found breasts during my physical.
-Funny. I never did.
-Tried calling you a couple times.
-Oh yeah?
-Wanted to give you props on making First Team All-American. And then when Magic retired, I tried calling you again.
-Must have been my cheap-ass answering machine. It was always messing up.
-Actually, I don't...
-What do you mean?
-I'm tired of playing overseas. Thinking about giving it a rest for awhile.
-A rest?
-Yeah. Basketball just, isn't fun anymore. You know?
-Yeah, and Quincy, good luck with your knee, and everything.
-You visiting?
-Kyra's gone for a couple days. Figured I'd keep Mom company.
-Who's this guy I always see her around?
-Darryl. He's alright, kinda corny.
-So...how's the knee?
-Getting there.
-Strong enough to get you down the aisle?
-Yeah. Two weeks. I didn't get to send you an invitation, but if you...
-It just isn't.
-Because I'm kinda feeling that way, too.
-You had a rough couple years, that's all.
-That a nice way of saying I rode the bench?
-And you tore up your knee. Rehab is tough.
-Nah. I haven't dribbled a ball in four and a half months. Maybe I miss some of the attention, but besides that...
-You're serious.
-Seems like I needed a ball when I was trying to be like my pops...or trying to be better than him. Now, I kinda think I need to try something else.
-Like what?
-Maybe go back to school.
-I mean, Kyra hasn't heard the school thing yet. She'll probably say it's the painkillers talking.
-It's a trip, you know? When you're a kid, you see the life you want, and it never crosses your mind that it's not gonna turn out that way.
-So why'd you give up ball?
-Why do you keep asking me that?
-Cause I don't get it.
-Something was just missing.
-It doesn't matter, alright. Just leave it alone.
-What's going on?
-You asked me what was missing.
-What?
-From basketball.
-you woke me up to tell me that?
-I heard enough.
-What I'm trying to say is, I've loved you since I was eleven and the shit won't go away.
-We haven't talked since college and now you wait two weeks before my wedding to say something like this?
-You haven't changed. You still think the sun rises and sets on your ass. Well, guess what, it doesn't.
-Then why are you so upset?
-Because you don't pull this on someone who's about to get married.
-Better late than never, right?
-I'll play you.
-What?
-One game. One-on-one.
-For what?
-You're out of your mind.
-So you're gonna bitch up?
-What's that supposed to be, psychology?
-I know why you broke up with me in college. And not that what you did wasn't messed up, but what I did was, too. So if you forgive me, I'll forgive you.
-What will this prove?
-You once said the reason I beat you was because you wanted me to.
-So?
-So, if I win it's because deep down you know you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life, and deep down your want me to stop you.
-And what happens when you lose?
-Hey, girl.
-Hey.
-No.
-C'mon, girl, you live next door. Who's been creeping?
-There's so many I just can't keep track.
-Give it yourself.
-Zeke.
-We should head over.
-Just you and Quincy, baby. I got a meeting.
-With who?
-Business folks.
-You just got back from a four game road trip.
-I had some players to see and hands to shake.
-At one in the morning?
-I'm not gonna get anywhere punching a clock just so my wife doesn't get an attitude.
-Yeah.
-I'm just saying it'd be nice if you found time for your family. You should see the tramps coming after Quincy. If you don't talk to him...
-You said you'd think about going back to get your degree.
-Fine, then how many nights home is that?
-Not great.
-What's that, not great?
-The doctor'll be back in a minute.
-Nona, please.
-Almost didn't recognize you with your hair like that. How you been?
-What?
-We still have to go?
-What is this?
-Uh, your earring?
-I look like some hoochie to you? I found it on your floor.
-Quincy, I told you about these fat-ass girls.
-We were just studying.
-I'm not playing with you, these girls are looking to get you caught. They see you, they see dollar signs.
-Okay.
-You hearing me?
-How was your game?
-Twenty-seven points, eleven assists and still undefeated.
-Still the man.
-Where's your dad?
-Said he'd be home later.
-Later when?
-You scared me.
-Sorry. You okay?
-Guess he talked to you.
-Don't sweat it, okay. Sooner or later the truth'll come out.
-Whose truth are you talking about?
-Just...leave it alone.
-This is just about money, you know that.
-Quincy, please...
-I mean, how many times have you told me yourself to watch out for these ho's?
-Guess I should have been telling your father.
-Boy, what'd I tell you about using that word?
-"Can't" should never be in a man's vocabulary.
-Why not?
-Cause when you say can't, you ain't a man.
-Pop, there's no way an Ivy League Team is going all the way.
-I don't care about the team. I care about the school.
-Yeah? So you up for a game later?
-I don't wanna hurt your feelings.
-You don't wanna hurt your back.
-Anyway, I gotta get to this meeting. Tell your Mom I'm gonna be late.
-You work too hard, Pop.
-What people?
-You know, people.
-Well, tell them to mind their damn business. You're smart enough to get a degree.
-I'm also good enough to go pro.
-You know how much higher the play level is in the NBA? Give yourself time to develop, Quincy. Get an education. The NBA ain't going nowhere.
-You came out early.
-Your mom got pregnant and I had to make choices. You don't have a choice.
-Besides, the sooner you go pro, the sooner you'll have to deal with the mess I'm dealing with.
-What mess?
-there's this thing out there. This paternity suit.
-What?
-Some girl that's been hanging on at every party. now I'm supposed to be her baby's Daddy. Anyway, I told your mom I wanted to be the one who told you.
-Tell me what?
-I just told you.
-Sorry.
-So what are you gonna do?
-I want this thing to go to court, but my lawyer's telling me to settle.
-Why?
-A case like this could hang around for months and I'm up for this player relations job with the "Clips." This gets out, false or not, no one'll touch me.
-What's Mom think?
-What are you doing here?
-Your door was unlocked.
-Still is, so let yourself out.
-We need to talk.
-We ain't got nothing to talk about.
-I messed up, okay, I know that. But I ain't that kid's father.
-Lucky kid.
-Look, I ain't saying it was right, but sometimes things happen.
-And some things should never fucking happen!
-Boy, you're so perfect you can look down on me?
-I ain't a damn liar.
-Your mom was real quick to show you those pictures, wasn't she? Well, she was nineteen when she got pregnant and don't get me wrong, you're the best thing in my life, but she knew I wasn't ready for no marriage.
-So now you're saying my mother trapped you?
-Since we're being honest, guess I should tell you. I'm dropping out of school and going pro.
-From your mouth.
-I know your mad at me, okay, but I can't let you do this.
-What do you want?
-Came by to check on you.
-After five years.
-Don't remember that being my fault. Seems like you divorced me same time as your mom.
-Look, I'm busy.
-I can see that. I know things look pretty bleak right now, but you can't get down on yourself.
-I stopped taking your advice a long time ago, or did you forget?
-No.
-Good.
-Quincy. I know you left school early to throw your middle finger up at me.
-And now I'm paying for it, right? That what this is about? "I told you so?"
-You want me to fuck off?
-Yeah.
-What surery?
-Your teeth are straight.
-I need corrective oral surgery. I need the braces.
-Don, you got hit by lightning that time in Tahoe, you went on vacation, I don't think braces is a good idea --
-I can't believe you're gonna do this to me, the situation I'm in, I don't -- Avi: You know what? Being hit by lighting doesn't matter for getting braces, ok? Now Solomon, let me just ask you once: Please. Please. Don't do this.
-How are you paying tor the braces, Donnie?
-No need for braces, Donnie.
-THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSSINESS. I HAVE BEEN A GOOD WORKER, A GOOD AND LOYAL WORKER FOR YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.
-You smell like trouble --
-I'm fuckin' hammered, Burt.
-You ok?
-It's been the same fuckin' thing for thirty years, Burt --
-You okay? huh? Jimmy?
-And the book says: "We may by through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
-C'mon, Jimmy, snap up, snap up --
-Call 911. Call 911 right now.
-No, no, no. I'm fine. It's small, I wanna keep going --
-no, no, c'mon Jimmy we need to call this quits and you need to see a doctor.
-I'm telling you right now, I'm fine. I lost my goddamn balance and I couldn't see a moment, but I'm ok.
-Call 911, Mary, do it right now.
-You fuckin' don't do that. You don't do it, you cocksucker. I'll fuckin' kill you with my barehands. Go. get the fuck fuck -- we're going back and we finish the show --
-Jimmy you look like you're about to fuckin' die right here --
-Hey, Janet, it's Chad.
-What's wrong?
-Nothing's wrong, I just got some guy on the phone on my other line, he's says he works for this guy, this guy who's Frank's father --
-Hello?
-Ok. Janet you have Phil Parma --
-Hi, hello, great. This is Seduce and Destroy?
-It is. Can I have your home phone number with area code?
-Well I don't want to order anything, you see. I have a situation, a situation just come up that's really pretty serious and I'm not sure who I should talk to or what I should do but could you maybe put me in touch with the right person if I explain myself?
-I'm really only equipped to take orders --
-Well can you connect me to someone else?
-Well what's the situation?
-Well, ok. Lemme see how I explain this without it seeming kinda crazy, but here go: I'm, my name is Phil Parma and I work for a man named Earl Partridge -- Mr. Earl Partidge. I'm his nurse. He's a very sick man. He's a dying man and he's sick and he's asked me to help him, to help him find his son --
-I'm here, I'm listening.
-Why don't they have the same last name? They don't have the same last name.
-I know -- and I can't really explain that, but I have a feeling there's something, some situation between them, like they don't really know each other much or well, something like they don't talk much anymore --
-Uh-huh.
-Does this sound weird?
-Well I'm not sure why you're calling me.
-There's no number for Frank in any of Earl's stuff and he's pretty out of it -- I mean, like I said, he's dying, y'know. Dying of Cancer.
-What kind of Cancer?
-Brain and Lung.
-My mother had breast cancer.
-It's rough. I'm sorry, did she make it?
-Oh, she's fine.
-Oh that's good.
-It was scary though.
-It's a helluva disease.
-Yeah, hey. Chad.
-Alright, so I'm gonna transfer you over to Frank's assitant, Janet she's gonna see what she can do --
-Thank you, Chad, and good luck to you and your mother --
-...what the fuck is this...?
-What do you want? Why are you here?
-I'd like to talk to you. Your boyfriend let me in, I just knocked on the door --
-Wanna call me a slut now, something?
-What the fuck do you want?
-I want to sit. I want to talk to you.
-Don't sit down.
-...I want to....I want so many things, Claudia. Maybe we can just talk to straighten our things out....there are so many things that I want to tell you --
-I don't wanna talk to you.
-Please. It doesn't have to be now. Maybe we can make a date to sit down, I didn't mean to walk in on you like this --
-Why are you here, why are you doing this? Coming in here -- you wanna call me a whore?
-I don't want you to think that I'm that way to you -- I'm not gonna call you a slut or something --
-Yeah, yeah right -- what the fuck are doing? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?
-Don't yell, honey. Please don't go crazy --
-I'M NOT CRAZY. Don't you tell me I'm crazy.
-I'm not saying that, I'm sorry --
-I'M NOT CRAZY. You're the one. You're the one who's wrong. You're the one --
-I have something, so much -- I'm sick, Claudia. I'm sick.
-Get out of here, get the fuck out of my house --
-Now STOP IT and LISTEN to me right now. I AM DYING, I GOT SICK...now I fell down and I'm Not...DON'T --
-GET THE FUCK OUT.
-I'm dying, Claudia. I have cancer. I have cancer and I'm dying, soon. It's metastasized in my bones and I --
-FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU, YOU GET OUT.
-I'm not lying to you, I'm not --
-FUCK YOU. YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
-baby, please, please --
-Please put your clothes on, please --
-YOU BURN IN BELL. You burn in hell and you deserve it -- YOU GET THE FUCK OUT.
-Honey.
-Your mother wants to hear from you --
-...Hello...?
-uh...uh...What is it?
-OPEN THE DOOR.
-...yeah...
-Yes.
-For what?
-Ok. For one thing, we're gonna need to turn that music down so we can talk, ok?
-Wilson.
-Ok. Claudia Wilson: You tryin' to go deaf?
-What?
-Did you hear what I said?
-Yeah, but I don't know --
--- listenin' to that music so loud: You Tryin' To Damage Your Ears?
-No.
-Well if you keep listenin' to the music that loud you're not only gonna damage your ears but your neighbors ears.
-I didn't realize it was that loud.
-And that could be the sign of a damaged ear drum, you understand?
-Yeah.
-No.
-I got a call of a disturbance, screaming and yelling, loud music. Has there been some screaming and yelling?
-Yes. I had someone come to my door, someone I didn't want here and I told them to leave -- so -- it's no big deal. They left. I'm sorry.
-Was it a boyfriend of yours?
-No.
-You don't have a boyfriend?
-No.
-Who was it?
-You mind if I check things back here?
-What are you lookin' for?
-Claudia: Why don't you let me handle the questions and you handle the answers, ok?
-ok.
-You just move in here?
-About two years ago.
-Bit messy.
-Yeah.
-I'm a bit of a slob myself.
-Yeah.
-You and your boyfriend have a party last night?
-got some coffee brewing, huh?
-Yeah...it's not...it's been on for a bit --
-I like iced coffee, generally, but a day like this, rain and what not, I enjoy a warm cup --
--- do you wanna cup?
-I don't know how fresh it's gonna be --
-Oh, it'll be fine, I'm sure, Claudia.
-You take cream or sugar?
-That'd be fine. So, Claudia, lemme just say, so I can get my role of LAPD officer out of the way before we enjoy our coffee I'm not gonna write you up or anything, I'm not gonna give you a citation here -- but the real problem we have is that there are people around here, people that work from their homes, people tryin'
-Yeah.
-Is this boyfriend bothering you?
-I don't have a boyfriend.
-The gentleman who came to the door --
--- is not my boyfriend.
-Many times, in damestic abuse situations the young lady is afraid to speak, but I have to tell you that, being a police officer, I've seen it happen: Young woman afraid to speak, next thing you know, I'm gettin' a call on the radio, I got a 422 --
-It's not -- what's a 422?
-It's where situations like these lead, Claudia, unless you do something about it early, if and when the police call and come for help. Now there are certain measures you can take --
-It's not my boyfriend -- and it's not anything -- it's over. Really. It's not. He won't came back.
-I don't wanna have to come back here in an hour and find that there's been another disturbance.
-You won't. You won't have to.
-I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick.
-Ok, ok. I'm back.
-This is, for not a fresh cup, a great cup of coffee, Claudia --
---- yeah, yeah, I get in it in my ear. It's TMJ is what it's called technically.
-What's that stand for?
-This is my job.
-We were just gettin' warmed up. We were just getting started.
-Well if you listen' to that music too loud again and that fella returns maybe we'll share another cup of coffee --
-If you're not here for a 422 --
-No. No. Don't joke about that. That's not funny, Claudia. Please, now.
-I'm sorry.
-Ok, then. Keep your chin up and your music down, alright?
-Yes. I will. It was nice to meet you Officer Jim.
-Just Jim.
-yeah, good, ok.
-Bye, bye, Claudia.
-I'm sorry, Claudia.
-What is it? Did you forget something?
-No, no. I was wondering...man oh man. I think I feel like a bit of a scum-bucket doing this, considering that I came here as an officer of the law and the situation and all this but I think I'd be a fool if I didn't do something I really want to do which is to ask you on a date.
-You wanna go on a date with me?
-Please, yes.
-Well...is that illegal?
-No.
-Then...I'd like to go...What do you want to do?
-I don't know. I haven't thought about it -- you know what -- that's not true -- I have thought about it. I've thought about going on a date with you since you opened the door.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-Do you wanna go tonight? I mean, are you working?
-No, I'm off tonight. I would lov-like, to go tonight, I can pick you up, I can pick you up here at about what time? What time?
-Eight o'clock?
-What about ten o'clock, is that too late? I don't get off and then --
-Oh sure yes, that's fine, late dinners are good. Should I get dressed up or -- ?
-No, no, just casual maybe, maybe I thought -- there's a spot I like to go, it's real nice that overlooks a golf course and the course is lit up at night --
-Billingsley's?
-Yeah, You know it? You know Billingsley's?
-It's my favorite place --
-Oh, see? This is great. Ten o'clock.
-Great, bye.
-Did you ever go out with someone and just....lie....question after question, maybe you're trying to make yourself look cool or better than you are or whatever, or smarter or cooler and you just -- not really lie, but maybe you just don't say everything --
-Well, that's a natural thing, two people go out on a date, something. They want to impress people, the other person...or they're scared maybe what they say will make the other person not like them --
-So you've done it --
-Well I don't go out very much.
-Why not?
-I've never found someone really that I think I would like to go out with.
-And I bet you say that to all the girls --
-No, no.
-You wanna make a deal with me?
-ok.
-What I just said...y'know, people afraid to say things....no guts to say the things that they...that are real or something...
-...yeah...
-To not do that. To not do that that we've maybe done -- before --
-Let's make a deal.
-Wow....huh..."...piss and shit..."
-What?
-You really use strong language.
-I'm sorry --
--- no, no, it's fine. Fine.
-I didn't mean...it's seems vulgar or something, I know --
-It's fine.
-I'm sorry.
-...nothing. I'm sorry...
-No, I'm sorry. I'm saying I'm sorry. I talk like a jerk sometimes --
--- well I'm a real...y'know, straight when it comes to that...curse words I just don't use much --
-I'm sorry.
-I'm gonna run to the bathroom for a minute...maybe just --
-ok.
-Well.
-That felt good to do...to do what I wanted to do.
-Yeah.
-Can I tell you something?
-Yeah, of course.
-I'm really nervous that you're gonna hate me soon. That you're gonna find stuff out about me and you're gonna hate me --
--- no, like what, what do you mean?
-You're a police officer. You have so much, so many good things and you seem so together...so all straight and put together without problems.
-I lost my gun.
-What?
-I lost my gun after I left you today and I'm the laughing stock of a lot of people. I wanted to tell you that. I wanted you to know...and it's on my mind and it makes me look like a fool and I feel like a fool and you asked that we should say things, that we should say what we're thinknig and
-Oh my god, Jim. Jim, that was so --
-I'm sorry --
-That was so great what you just said.
-I haven't been on a date since I was married and that was three years ago....and Claudia...whatever you wanna tell me, whatever you think might scare me, won't...and I will listen...I will be a good listener to you if that's what you want...and you know, you know...I won't judge you.... I can do that sometimes, I know, but I won't...I can...listen to you and
-You don't how fuckin' stupid I am.
-It's ok.
-You don't know how crazy I am.
-It's ok.
-I've got troubles.
-I'll take everything at face value. I'll be a good listener to you.
-Ohhhh I started this, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, fuck.
-Say what you want and you'll see --
-Wanna kiss me, Jim?
-....now that I've met you.... Would you object to never seeing me again?
-What?
-Just say no.
-Let me go, leave me, let me go, it's ok, please.
-please, what is it, please --
--- you the resident here?
-Yes.
-No, what's wrong?
-You live alone?
-Yes.
-What's your name?
-Claudia.
-Hello. You're back again, huh?
-yeah, yes, hi, hello.
--- can I get you?
-Diet Coke.
-I want a shot of tequila too.
--- what kind?
-I'm fine. Yes. I'm fine.
-Ready to go,go,go?
-Where's Richard and Julia?
-Where's the news department at this studio?
-It's upstairs.
-Have you ever been there?
-Sure, why?
-I'm wondering about the weather department. I'm wonderin' wether or not the weather people use outside meteorlogical services or if they have in-house instruments?
-I can check on that for you, maybe we can take a tour --
-C'mon guys, settle down --
-Cynthia?
-What?
-How much time do we have?
-Not enough, what do you want?
-I should maybe go to the bathroom.
-Can you hold it?
-I don't know.
-I have to go to the bathroom, Cynthia.
-Jesus Christ, Stanley, you can't go to the bathroom now. You have exactly one minute before we're back on the air, this is NOT the time to go to the bathroom.
-What happend, what's going on?
-NOTHING. NOTHING HAPPEND. GO AWAY.
-What do you mean, "like what?" -- you could get endorsments and shit --
--- Richard.
-Let's go, c'mon, get up --
-Did we win or lose, I mean --?
-Richard, shut it and keep it down.
-DADDY! DAD! DAD WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN' ON?
-Stay quiet...stay quiet, son --
-LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GET HIS MONEY AND GO -- DID YOU GET HIS MONEY? DID YOU GET IT? DID YOU GET HIS MONEY, DAD?
-No, Son...be quiet...be quiet now...
-C'mon, Dad. We gotta just GET HIS MONEY AND GO, LET'S GO. Let's get the money --
-We're not gonna do that now. We're not gonna do that now and that's over.
-GIVE US YOUR MONEY MAN.
-Son, don't --
-BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT DAD WE GOTTA GET HIS MONEY --
--- no.
-GIVE US YOUR MONEY.
-Put the gun down, please, boy.
-GIVE US YOUR MONEY, KID.
-Son, please, now....
-DAD --
-It's ok --
-We gotta get his money so we can get outta here -- we gotta --
-DADDY, FUCK, DADDY, DON'T GET MAD AT ME. DON'T GET MAD AT ME -- JUST GIMME YOUR MONEY.
-I'm not mad, son, I will not be mad at you and it's ok and please put it down and I won't be mad and I won't --
-I - just - thought - that - I - didn't want - I - didn't - I - didn't -
-How much you pay me for my help?
-I think it's more complicated than that little man.
-Put me on the payroll, find out, find out wassup --
-You don't just sign up to be a police officer -- it's about three years of training -- ok?
-I'm trained, I'm ready to go, you wanna buy some candy to help underprivelaged youth in the --
-Sorry, little man.
-You wanna take my statement, I'll perform for you, gotta get paid though, gotta get PAID.
-Why the hell aren't you in school?
-No school today. My teacher got sick.
-They don't have substitute teachers where you go to school?
-Nope. So what'd they find out in there?
-That's confidential information, little man.
-Tell me what you know, I'll tell you what I know --
-No Can Do.
-Ok. Listen. You: c'mere.
-No.
-You wanna disrespect an officer of the law?
-I can help you solve the case, I can tell you who did it.
-Are you a joker? huh? Tellin' jokes?
-I'm a rapper.
-Oh, you're a rapper, huh? You got a record contract?
-Not yet -- "give you the clue for the bust if you show me some trust --"
-Have you ever been to Juvenille Hall?
-I ain't fuckin with you --
-Hey. Watch the mouth. Watch it.
-C'mon, man, just watch me, watch and listen --
-Presence - with a double ass meaning gifts I bestow, with my riff, and my flow but you don't hear me though think fast, catch me, yo cause I throw what I know with a Resonance - fo'yo'trouble-ass fiend in weenin yo-self off the back of the shelf Jackass crackas, bodystackas dicktootin niggas, masturbatin' yo trigga butcha y'all just fake-ass niggas --
--- watch the mouth, homeboy, I don't need to hear that word --
--- livin' to get older with a chip on your shoulder 'cept you think you got a grip, cauze you hip gotta holster? Ain't no confessor, so busta, you best just Shut The fuck up, try to listen and learn --
-Alright, alright, cut it, coolio. That's enough with the mouth and the language.
-I'm almost done.
-Finish it up without the lip.
-Check that ego - come off it - I'm the profit - the proffesor Ima teach you 'bout The Worm, who eventually turned to catch wreck with the neck of a long time oppressor And he's runnin from the devil, but the debt is always gaining And if he's worth being hurt, he's worth bringin' pain in - When the sunshine don't work, the
-Now that shit will help you SOLVE the case.
-Did you listen to me?
-I was listening --
--- I told you who did it and you're not listening to me.
-Doc it's Janet.
-What's up?
-I have to talk to Frank, is he nearby?
-He's doing the interview with the lady --
-I need you to interupt him, I need to get him on the phone with me right away --
-What happend?
-I'm walking towards the elevator's, Janet.
-What happend?
-Doc, just - don't, how close are you?
-Phil, hang in just one more minute ok? I'm gonna put you on hold -- Doc you still there?
-You look like you've got money in your pocket.
-Just throw some money around. Money, money, money.
-This sounds threatening.
-Do you have love in your heart?
-I have love all over. I even have love for you, friend.
-Is it real love?
-Well --
--- the kind of love that makes you feel that intagible joy. Pit of your stomach. Like a bucket of acid and nerves running around and making you hurt and happy and all over you're head over heels....?
-Well you lost me with the last couple of cocktail words spoken, m'boy, but I believe it's that sort of love. Sounds nice to me.
-I have love.
-A very chatty-kind, you do, indeed, it seems.
-No. I mean, I'm telling you: I'm telling you that I have love.
-And I'm listening avidly, fellow.
-....do you know who I am?
-You're a friend of the family I presume?
-What? What does that mean?
-Nothing special, just a spoke in the wheel.
-You talk in rhymes and riddles and ra...rub-adub --- but that doesn't mean anything to me, see....see...see I used to be smart....I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith. I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith from the tv --
-But you're alright now, so what's the what?
-What?
-That's right.
-I used to be smart but now I'm just stupid.
-Who was it that said: "A man of genius has seldom been ruined but by himself."
-It was the lovely Samuel Johnson who also spoke of a fella "Who was not only dull but a cause of dullness in others."
-"The" cause of dullness in others --
-Picky, picky.
-Things go round 'n round, don't they?
-Yes they do, they do, but I'll make my dreams come true, you see? I will.
-This sounds Sad as a Weeping Willow.
-I used to be smart but now I'm just stupid.
-"If a brick weighs one pound plus one half brick -- how much does the brick weigh?" "Well if subtracting the half of brick from the whole brick you got one half of brick, equals one pound so therefore the brick equals two pounds --" "A little more than kin and less than kind," is Hamlet to Claudius. "The sins of the father laid
-I confuse melancholy and depression sometimes....
-Mmm.Hmm.
-You see?
-Why don't you run along now friend, your dessert is getting cold.
-I'm sick.
-Stay that way.
-I'm sick and I'm in love.
-You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
-I love you. I love you and I'm sick. I'II talk to you....I'll talk to you tommorrow. I'm getting corrective oral surgery tomorrow. For my teeth. For my teeth and for you....for you so we can speak. You have braces. Me too. Me too. I'm getting braces, too. For you. For you, dear Brad. And I don't have any money. And I don't have
-Brad, honey, you have a special secret crush over here I think, don't take him too lovely -- he might get hurt --
-You mind your own bussines.
-Gently, son --
-Brad, I know you don't love me now --
-"It's a dangerous thing to confuse chidlren with angels..."
-...please...
-This is so fucked, Solomon. I don't deserve this.
-Don't get strong, Donnie. This is making sense, this making a lot of sense. You are not doing the job, the job I ask you to do, a job I give you. Over and over and over and I'm sorry. But I'm not gonna say I'm sorry that much more.
-I don't have any money, Solomon. If you fire me --
--- I give you money, I give you a paycheck. Your sales suck, Don. I give, I give. When I find you, when I meet you, what? I put you on the billboard, I put you in the store, my salesman, my fucking representation of Solomon and Solomon Electronic, Quiz Kid Donnie Smith from the game show --
-I lent my name, my celebrity. Exactly --
-FUCK YOU. I pay you, I paid you. I give you a fucking chance and a chance and over and over, over you let me down. I trust you with so much. The keys to my store, the codes to my locks, the life, the blood of my bussiness and return is smashing in seven-eleven, late, <u>always</u> late, loans -- I loaned you money
-I paid you back.
-Two years! Two years later and out of your paycheck, I never charge interest --
-What is that?
-Braces.
-Braces?
-Yes.
-You don't need braces.
-Yes I do.
-And how much is braces?
-I've been a good worker --
-I don't know.
-You were gonna ask me weren't you?
-Give me your keys, Don.
-PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!
--- he's fucking dying, he's dying as we're sitting here and there isn't a fucking thing -- jesus, how can you tell me to calm down?
-I can help you through this the best I know how but there are certain things you are gonna have to be strong about and take care of, now we can go over them, but I need to know that you're listening to me, ok?
-I just, I just -- I just -- I'm just in a fucking state, I know he's going and it's like I don't know how -- just tell me <u>practical</u> things -- What the fuck do I do with his body? What happens when he dies? That next moment: What? What do I do? Then What?
-Well that's what Hospice will take care of for you. They will send a nurse, someone who can take care of all of that for you --
-He has Phil right now.
-Phil's one of the nurses from the service?
-Yeah.
-If you're happy with Phil taking care of him and helping you, that's fine, but contact Hospice to arrange for the body --
--- you don't understand: it's more pain than before and the fucking morphine pills aren't working, he's -- past two days it's like he can't really swallow them and I don't know if they're going down -- I can't see inside his mouth anymore -- I'm up all night staring at him and I don't think the pills are going down and he moans
-We can fix that, because I can give you -- are you listening?
-I'm listening. I'm getting better.
-Do you wanna sit down?
-I need to sit down.
-This is the number for Hospice. Ok. Now. As far as the morphine pills go, there is something else to consider that can take the pain away that he is in, there is a very strong and very potent solution of liquid morphine....it's a little bottle, with an eye dropper and it's easy to get in his mouth and drop on his tounge and
--- how the fuck can I say anything to that -- I don't know what to say to that --
-How's today then?
-Fuckin' bullshit is what this is.
-...no...no goddamn use. I have a son, y'know?
-You do?
-...ah...
-Where is he?
-I don't know...I mean, he's around, he's here, in town, y'know, but I don't know...he's a tough one...very.... Do you have a girlfriend, Phil?
-No.
-Get a girlfriend.
-I'm trying.
-And do good things with her...share the thing...all that bullshit is true, y'know...find someone and hold on all that...Where's Linda?
-She went out. She said she went out to run some errands. She'll be back.
-She's a good girl. She's a little nuts, but she's a good girl I think. She's a little daffy.
-She loves you.
-...ah...maybe...yeah...she's a good one...
-When was the last time you talked to your son?
-....I dunn...o....maybe ten...five, fuck, fuck....that's another thing that goes --
--- memory?
-Time lines, y'know? I remember things but not so -- right there -- y'know?
-Yeah.
-"yeah." the fuck do you know?
-I've seen it before.
-Other fuckin' assholes like me.
-There's no asshole like you.
-...cocksucker....
-How come every word you say is either "cocksucker," or "shitballs," or "fuck?"
-Do me a personal favor --
-Go fuck myself?
-...I can't hold onto this anymore...
-I'll get you another pain pill. Another morphine pill --
-...gimme that fuckin' phone...
-Who are you gonna call?
-I wanna see this...where is he, do you know?
-Who?
-Jack.
-You wanna call him on the phone? We can call him, I can dial the phone if you can remember the number --
-This is so boring...so goddamn... and dying wish and all that, old man on a bed...fuck...wants one thing:
-...find him on the...Frank. His name's Frank Mackey --
-Frank Mackey. That's your son?
-Do you know Lily? Phil..do you know her?
-No.
-...Lily...?
-No.
-She's my love...my life...love of it... In school when you're 12 years old. In school, in six grade....and I saw her and I didn't go to that school...but we met. And my friend knew her...I would say, "What's that girl?" "How's that Lily?" "Oh, she's a bad girl...she sleeps with guys..." My friend would say this....but then sometime...I went to another school, you see?
-Graduation?
-No, no, the grade...the grade that you're in?
-Twelve.
-She had cancer...from her...in her stomach and I didn't go anywhere with her...and I didn't do a god thing... for her and to help her....shit...this bitch...the beautiful, beautiful bitch with perfect skin and child bearing hips and so soft...her namewasLilysee? He liked her though he did, his mom, Frank/Jack...he took care of her and she died. She didn't stick with him and he thinks
-What? Say it again...walking in the car?
-Hello?
-Hi. Is Frank there?
-I think you have the wrong number.
-I'm looking for Frank Mackey.
-No.
-Is this 509-9027?
-Yeah. You have the wrong number. There's no one named Frank here.
-Alright. Thank you.
-That's fine. It's nice to meet you.
-Are we gonna tape some stuff now?
-If you're up to it, I've got us set up in a suite upstairs --
-All it takes is one second?
-Just one look, one hesitation, one subtle gesture for me to know -- And Bing-Bam-Boom I'm away on a tangent -- I get so fuckin' amped at these seminars and lemme tell you why: Because I Am What I Believe. I am what I teach, I do as I say, I live by these rules as religiously as I preach them: And you wanna
-I'm gonna start rolling --
--- go, go, go. I'm givin' pearls here. And I'II tell you samethin' else: I'm not succeding in the bush because I'm Frank TJ Mackey. If anything, there are women out there that want to <u>destroy</u> me -- it makes it twice as hard for me, I run into some little muffin, knows who I am, knows my schemes and plans -- shit, she's
--- see, I thought you grew up here in the valley --
--- that's right, that's right, and what I'M saying, that none of my competitors can say is this: That there is no need for insight or understanding. Things of the past! Gone, Over, Done. Do you realize how fucking miraculous this is? How fucking razor sharp and cutting edge and ahead of it's time this concept is? I'm talking about eliminating <u>insight</u> and <u>understanding</u>
-Let's talk about --
-I just realized this is for television, isn't it? I can't swear up and down like I just did.
-It's fine. I can bleep it out.
-I warned you -- I get on a roll...
--- let's talk more about your background --
-I'm confused about your past is the thing.
-Is that still lingering?
--- just to clarify --
-So boring, so useless --
-I would just want to clear some things up:
-Thank you, Muffy. Funny thing is: This is an important element of, "Seduce and Destory:" "Facing the past is an important way in not making progress," that's something I tell my men over and over --
-This isn't meant --
--- and I try and teach the students to ask: What is it in aid of?
-Are you asking me that?
-Yes.
-Well, just trying to figure out who you are, and how you might have become --
-In aid of what?
-I'm saying, Frank, in trying to figure out who you are --
--- there's a lot more important things I'd like to put myself <u>into</u> --
-It's all important --
-Not really.
-It's not like I'm trying to attack you --
-This is how you wanna spend the time, then go, go, go -- you're gonna be surprised at what a waste it is -- "The most useless thing in the world is that which is behind me," Chapter Three --
-We talked earlier about your mother. And we talked about your father and his death. And I don't want to be challenging or defeatist here, but I have to ask and I would want to clarify something -- something that I understand --
-I'm not sure I hear a question in there?
-Do you remember a Miss Simms?
-I know alotta women and I'm sure she remembers me.
-She does. From when you were a boy.
-Mm. Hm.
-She lived in Tarzana.
-An old stomping ground --is this the "attack" portion of the interview, I figured this was coming sooner or later -- Is "the girl" coming in for the kill?
-No, this is about getting something right and claryfying one of your answers to an earlier question --
-Go ahead and waste your time.
-I was told that your mother died. That your mother died when you were young --
-And that's what you've heard?
-C'mon, Frank. What are you doing?
-What am I doing?
-Yeah.
-Time's up. Thank you for the interview.
-So you sat it out, that's what you did?
-You're hurting a lot of people, Frank --
-Where are you from originally?
-Around here.
-the valley?
-Hollywood, mainly.
-And what did your parents do?
-My father worked in televison. My mother -- this is gonna sound silly to you -- she was a librarian.
-Why does that sound silly?
-Well I guess it doesn't.
-Does you mother still work?
-She's retired.
-Are you close?
-She's my mother.
-What does she say about, "Seduce and Destroy."
-"Go Get 'Em, Honey."
-And your father?
-He passed away.
-I'm sorry.
-people die.
-I wouldn'tve asked --
-Not a problem.
-And you ended up at UC Berkely --
-From '84 to '89.
-Psychology major?
-Right.
-Do you have your masters?
-...this close...
-And you went to Van Nuys High, right?
-I don't how much I went -- but I was enrolled. I was such a loser back then. I was -- misguided, pathetic -- I was very fat. Not even close to what I am today. Not the Frank TJ Mackey you're eager to talk to because I was swimming in what <u>was</u> as opposed to I <u>wanted</u>.
-Where does that name come from?
-What name? My name?
-It's not your given name, right?
-My mother's name, actually. Good question. You've done you're research.
-And "Frank?"
-"Frank" was my mother's father.
-Ok. That's why. I had trouble locating your school records at Berkely and UCLA. Your name change -- they had no official enrollment --
-Oh, yeah. No, no, no. They wouldn't --
-They wouldn't?
-no, no, no. Certainly not. I wasn't officialy enrolled, that's right. Was that unclear?
-Kind of.
-Are you asking me a question?
-Hello. Frank. Frank TJ Mackey.
-...are you Phil...?
-Yeah. I was trying to get in touch with you. We got dissconnected.
-I got your message. That you were trying to get me -- right?
-Yes. I didn't know how to find you. Earl asked me, so I looked through the adress books and there was no number, nothing --
-Is Linda here?
-She's not here, she went out. I'm sorry. This is all just so, I don't know what, what to do -- your Dad asked me to try and track you down. To get you and I did, I called the number -- Do you wanna come in?
-Yeah let's...maybe just stand.
-He's in here.
-Let's just wait one minute and stay here, okay?
-How long have you taken care of him?
-For six months. I'm the day nurse...
-Uh-huh. What's going on?
-He's...I'm sorry...so sorry...I've seen this before, you know and you don't.... He's going very fast....Frank...um....
-Is he in pain?
-I just...he was...but I gave him, I just had to give him a small dose of liquid morphine. He hasn't been able to swallow the morphine pills so we now, I just had to go to the liquid morphine... For the pain, you understand?
-How long...you think?
-Um...soon tonight...I think, yes? Tommorrow...I mean...very soon...very...
-When did he go off chemo?
-About three weeks ago.
-.....have you ever seen this..I mean, never mind, you said --
-I work as a nurse, for a proffesion --
-Uh. huh.
-I'm really sorry.
-He's in here --?
-I've heard your tapes on the phone.
-Oh yeah.
-When they put me on hold, to talk to you...they play the tapes. I mean: I'd seen the commercials and heard about you, but I'd never heard the tapes ....
-Uh. huh.
-It's interesting.
-So....Phil....um...I think I'm gonna step in and try and see him and say something if he can...talk...I mean:
-...ok...
-Can you stand...back...maybe, I mean... just a little bit...in the room is ok, but back from us a little...
-I'm here. I'm here now. What do you want? Do you want anything?
-I don't think, he can't...
-What? What? What now?
-Quietly, slow down, whoa --
-You can't just come in here.
-The door was open, I got a call --
-You're just come in --
-Calm down.
-I am calm.
-I got a call to this apartment, report of a disturbance --
-There's no disturbance.
-I got a call of a disturbance, you're door was open, I just wanna see what's goin' on --
-There's no disturbance.
-Then you've got nothin' to worry about.
-You don't tell me, I know my rights, just come right in, you can't --
-Don't test me, you wanna talk about what the law book says, we can do that, push me far enough and I'll take you to jail -- now calm down.
-I AM CALM.
-You're not calm. You're screamin' and yellin' and I'm here to check on a disturbance that was reported and that's what I'm gonna do - now are you alone in here?
-I don't have to answer your questions.
-No you don't: But I'm gonna ask you one more time: Are you alone in here?
-What does it look like?
-No one else in here?
-You're here.
-OK. That's true. Is anyone else, besides me and besides you in this house?
-No. I said that.
-Are you lyin' to me?
-I live alone.
-Maybe so, but I'm gonna ask you one more time: Is Anyone Else In This House Right Now?
-No I Said.
-Ok. What's your name?
-Marcie.
-Ok. Marice why don't you take a seat for me?
-I preffer to stand.
-I didn't do anything.
-Maybe you didn't, but I'm here to find out about a disturbance. Some neighbors called said they heard screaming and a loud crash.
-I don't know a loud crash.
-And what about screaming?
-I said: I DON'T KNOW. You can't just come in here and start pokin' around --
-You just woke up. And what'd you have a party last night, the way this place looks?
-I went out last night.
-Ok. Marcie. Starting now I want you to have a new attitude with me. The more you play games, the more suspicious I'm gonna become that you've been up to something.
-It's a free country, you can think anything you want.
-Yes I can, Marcie. And until you start givin' me some straight answers: I'm gonna assume that some mischief has been goin' on here.
-Mischief? What the fuck you talkin' about, mischief?
-Bad and illegal behavior. That's what I mean. Ok? Mischief. Now have you been doin' some drugs today?
-No.
-You on any medication?
-No.
-Been drinkin' today?
---- What was that?
-No. No. Stay down, Marcie, sit back down on that couch --
-WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S THIS? GOD DAMN BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT. DON'T PUT THOSE --
-This is the LAPD. If anyone is back here I want you to come out and I want you to show yourself to me with your hands in the air --
-This is the LAPD, if anyone is in the closet I want you to come out and show yourself to me, slowly and with your hands up --
-THERE'S NO ONE IN THERE!
-Marcie - quiet down! Now if anyone is in the closet, come out now --
-THERE'S NO ONE IN MY MOTHERFUCKIN CLOSET AND STAY OUT OF MY BEDROOM, STAY OUT OF MY GOD DAMN BEDROOM.
-What the hell is this Marcie?
-You look great.
-What the fuck is this, Jimmy?
-...you know...
-Did your wife find out?
-No.
-Then what?
-It's just...too late for me to be fuckin' around. I gotta stop. I gotta clean my brain of all the shit I've done that I shouldn't have done --
--- that you shouldn't have done? That you regret, what? This? What's this? Fuck, man, c'mon. Treat me like an asshole, but treat me like an <u>asshole</u>.
-Thirty fuckin' years I've been with Rose, don't -- y'know -- with this, and I know what you think --
-All your other fluzzies?
-Yeah. Yes.
-You're making me feel so dirty and shitty. I feel like a big piece of shit right now.
-Are you gonna tell her what you've done?
-Yes.
-Will you say my name?
-If she asks me any question I want to tell her. I want to tell her everything I've done.
-Come and tell me it's over and I'll walk away, Jimmy. I've fucked you behind your wife's back for three years, and you've fucked teenage girls behind mine for the same amount of time -- I'll walk away, you need something for your life, for your conscience, but don't put me in the middle --
-I won't.
-What happend to you?
-Are you ok?
-Rose is on the phone and here's the cards for today --
-Fifteen minutes ago, where were those cards?
-I'm sorry.
-I need you to get me Paula --
-You want her right now?
-Yes. Now. Find her. She's somewhere in the building --
-We're on the air in twenty minutes, Jimmy.
-I can't fuckin' do this.
-Are you alright?
-Willa Cather.
-I'm gonna need a full name, Stanley.
-What were you saying, Stanley?
-We are not on display. I am not a doll. I AM NOT A DOLL...I' M NOT SILLY AND CUTE. I'M SMART SO THAT SHOULDN'T MAKE ME SOMETHING, SOMETHING SO PEOPLE CAN WATCH HOW SILLY IT IS THAT HE'S SMART? I KNOW. I KNOW THINGS. I KNOW. I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND I HAVE
-I don't mean to cry, I'm sorry.
-How you doing?
-I'm drinking.
-Slowly or quickly?
-As fast as I can.
-Come home soon after the show.
-I went to see her -- some fuckin' asshole answers the door in his underwear, he's fifty years old, there's coke and shit laid out on the table --
--- did she talk to you?
-She went crazy. She went crazy, Rose.
-Did you tell her?
-I don't know. I have to go, I don't have time and I have more drinking to do before I go march --
-I love you.
-Love you too..
-I don't think I want that.
-It'll take the pain away.
-How do we do this, then?
-We just do it...we do it and we figure it out and we do as we do, I guess...
-You're my handsome man.
-I'm a bad person.
-No. No.
-No, I mean: I'm telling you this, now. You see? You see I want to make everything clear and clean...and apologize for me....for all the stupid things I've done....that will eat me up....
-You feel like you want to be forgiven for your sins? Honey, you're not on your death bed, yet....this kinda talk's gonna get you in trouble --
-...No...I don't hate you. Do you want talk...do you really want to talk to me and say things and get things figured out, Jimmy?
-Yeah.
-The question isn't wether or not you cheated on me, the question is how many times have you cheated on me?
-Will that help?
-How many times....it's ok...just say... Just say...
-I don't even remember...many...twenty... maybe more...not much more...twenty times.
-I don't hate you, Jimmy. But I have a couple questions that I wanna ask....
-I'll answer anything.
-Was there anyone that I know?
-Yes.
-Who?
-Rose, I don't --
-hey.
-That's it.
-No one else that I know?
-No.
-How long with Ellen?
-Just once.
-How long with Paula?
-Two years...three years...
-What about now?
-It's over. I talked to her this morning.
-Is it over 'cause you're sick?
-It's over becuase...for all the the right reasons I hope, what I said.
-Do you have any children with anyone?
-What? No, Rose, jesus, no --
-Well maybe.
-I don't.
-Do you feel better now that you've said this?
-I don't know....
-I'm not mad. I am, but I'm not. Y'know?
-I love you so much.
-Why doesn't Claudia talk to you, Jimmy?
-Why, well I think we've, we both don't know...what do you mean?
-I think that you know.
-...say it, Jimmy...
-Do you know the answer to this?
-I'm asking you. I'm asking you if you know why Clauida will not speak to you....please, Jimmy....tell me.
-She thinks terrible things that somehow got in her head...that I might have done something. She said that to me last time...when it was...ten years ago she walked out the door, "You touched me wrong..." "I know that." Some crazy thought in her, in her head...
-Did you ever touch her?
-Jimmy, did you touch her?
-...Jimmy...
-I really don't know.
-But you can't say....
-<u>I don't know what I've done</u>.
-Yes you do....you do and you won't say.
-You deserve to die alone for what you've done.
-I don't know what I've done.
-Yes you do.
-Stay here, please don't leave me, please, please, if I said I knew would you stay?
-No.
-I don't know what I've done.
-Hello?
-Hello. Is Claudia here?
-She's asleep.
-Are you her boyfriend?
-You're Jimmy Gator, right?
-Yes. What's your name?
-I'm Bob.
-You're her boyfriend?
-No, I'm just a friend. What are you doing here, I mean...you know Claudia?
-Can I come in?
-Want me to wake her up?
-I'm sorry.
-Do you still have to do homework?
-Was it a call back?
-No. But I probably will get a call back.
-If we beat the record, you might get a call back --
-I'll get it because I'm a good actress, Richard.
-We're not going out two days before we set the record, it's not gonna happen.
-Do you have an agent, Stanley?
-No.
-You should get one, I'm serious, you could get a lot of stuff out of this --
-Commercials, a sitcom, an MOW or something.
-What's MOW?
-They look pretty smart, I think.
-You have to go, Stanley. You're the smartest.
-You don't want any water?
-No...I just... I'm so fucked up here Alan, I don't know...there's so much...so many things --
-Are you on drugs right now?
-If I talk to you...y'know...if I tell you things...then you're a lawyer, right? You can't say things, you can't tell anyone, it's like the privelage, right? Attornery-client, you understand?
-Not exactly, Linda. I'm not sure where you're going with this --
-Like a shrink, like if I go to see a shrink, I'm protected, I can say things -- fuck -- I don't know what I'm doing --
-Linda, you're safe. Ok. It's alright. You're my friend. You and Earl are my clients and what you need to talk about won't leave this room, you have something you have to say --
--- I have something to tell you. I have to tell you something. I want to change his will, can I change his will?...I need to ---
-You can't change his will. Only Earl can change his will.
-I don't want him to die, I didn't love him when we met, and I've done so many bad things to him that he doesn't know, things I want to confess to him, but now I do: I love him. I love him so much and I can't stand -- he's going.
-What kind of medication are you on right now, Linda that's --
-This is not any fucking medication talking, this isn't -- I don't know. I don't know -- Can you give me nothing? You have power of attorney, can you see him, can you, in this final fucking moment, go see him and make sure --- change the fucking will -- I don't want any money, I couldn't live with myself, this thing I've done
-Adultery isn't illegal -- it's not something that can be used in a court to discredit the will or -- Linda. Linda. Calm down.
-I can't.
-You don't have to change the will, if what you want to do is get nothing you can renounce the will when it's time.
-Where will the money go?
-Well. Considering that there's no one else mentioned in the will...we'd have to go to the laws of intestacy, which is -- as if someone died without a will --
-What does that mean?
-The money would go to Frank. The court would put the money in the hands of a relative --
--- that can't happen. Earl doesn't want him to have the money, the things.
--- unless Frank is specifically ommitted as a beneficiary that's what will happen.
-This is so over-the-top and fucked-up I can hardly stand it.
-Linda, you just have to take a moment and breath and one thing at a time --
-Shut the fuck up.
-I'm trying to help, Linda --
-Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
-You need to sober up.
-Now you must really shut the fuck up, please. Shut The Fuck Up.
-Linda --
-Let me call you a car, Linda.
-Linda --
-What are you doing?
-I've got Frank...Frank Earl's son. He's...he asked me to get him and I did --
-Hang up the phone.
-No, Linda, you don't understan --
-You don't do that, you don't call him, you don't know to get involved in the bussiness of his, of his of <u>my</u> family. this is the <u>family</u>, <u>me</u> and <u>him</u> do you understand? You understand? NO ONE ELSE. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE. That man, his son does not exist. HE IS DEAD. HE IS DEAD and WHO TOLD YOU TO DO THAT?
-Earl asked me, Linda, please, Linda, I'm sorry -- Earl asked me --
-listen...listen to me now, Phil: I'm sorry, sorry I slapped your face. ...because I don't know what I'm doing... ...I don't know how to do this, y'know? You understand? y'know? I...I'm...I do things and I fuck up and I fucked up....forgive me, ok? Can you just...
-....it's alright....
-Hello.
-Cats and Dogs out there, huh?
-mmmhmm.
-You been on Prozac long? Dexadrine?
-You motherfucker...you motherfucker.... YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
--- what-what-what, ma'am -- I --
-Pink Dot.
-Hi. I'd like to get an order for delivery.
-Phone number.
-818-753-0088.
-Partridge?
-Yeah.
-What would you like?
-I'd like to get an order of...um...peanut butter.
-Mmm.Hmmm.
-Cigarettes. Camel Lights.
-mmm.hmm.
-Water.
-Bottled Water?
-Um, no, y'know what? Forget the water, just give me a loaf of bread...white bread.
-Ok.
-And um....do you have Swank magazine?
-Yeah.
-Ok. One of those. Do you have Ram Rod? The magazine, Ram Rod?
-Yeah.
-Ok. One of those. And...um...Barely Legal?
-yeah.
-Do you have that?
-yeah, I said. Is that it?
-That's it.
-Do you still want the peanut butter, bread and cigarettes ?
-Yes. What? Yes.
-Total is $15.29. Thirty minutes or less.
-I don't have regular classes anymore.
-What do you do?
-They just let me have my own study-time, my own reading time in the library.
-What are they gonna do -- beat us?
-The fuck is wrong with you?
-Did you piss your fuckin' pants, Stanley?
-I don't wanna go, I can't do it this time.
-Stanley if you don't fuckin' stand up and go over there I'm gonna beat your ass --
-Let's go,let's go, let's go, you shoulda done that ten minutes ago --
-We need more dog food --
-Cmon,cmon,cmon, that one to?
-I need this one.
-Why the hell do you need all four bags of books to go to school each day?
-Be ready at two --
-Should be one-thirty.
-I got an audition, I won't make it here 'till two, c'mon, I'll see you later. Love you.
-C'mon, man.
-You're late, not me.
-You coulda been in front --
-You ready to keep winning?
-Go to it, handsome.
-What's the problem, what's the problem here?
-I'm fine. nothing.
-Why didn't you answer those questions?
-I didn't know the answer --
-Bullshit. Bullshit. You know the answer to every goddamn question and I knew the answer to those questions and I'm not half as smart as you are so What Happened?
-I didn't I'm fine, I'm fine.
-Stand up.
-...oh Jesus, what the fuck...?
-I'm fine. I'm fine, I just wanna keep playing --
-Are we gonna keep going with this game?
-Yes.
-You're two fuckin' days from the record, get through this and I'II do anything for you, you just gotta get through this --
-Alright.
-You have to be nicer to me, Dad.
-Go to bed.
-I think that you have to be nicer to me.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-..sorry...
-Hi.
-Hi.
-..sorry...
-....you have it...easy....you know? You have a father who loves you, huh?
-Yes.
-You know what it's like to come home scared, scared that maybe if you don't have the money you're supposed to go out each day and get that you're gonna get beaten....by a belt...he hits me with a belt, Stanley.... I'm supposed to sell those candy bars, and if I don't, I come home without the money....
-....Why does he do it...?
-Cause he hates me....he hates me so much.
-It's not right.
-I'm sorry to put all this on you, Stanley --
-I have money.
-...what...?
-I have money to give you.
-No. No. I have to do this on my own.
-What is that?
-It's frogs. It's raining frogs.
-...fuck you mean, it's raining frogs?
-It's raining frogs from the sky.
-....what the fuck, what the fuck....
-This happens....this is something that happens.
-M'lady...?
-I understand you saved my son's life today.
-God smiled upon us.
-And you were not hurt?
-No, M'lady.
-Oh God I -- Forgive me...
-What -- ?
-M'lady... if anyone sees, it is death...
-If I don't kiss you, I die anyway.
-I can't bear to see you cry. What is wrong?
-Anne...! I know... I know that to love you is treason against France. But not to love you... is treason against my heart.
-My Queen...
-I have never seen a sight more beautiful than you, tonight.
-There were two. Not one. But two.
-I couldn't tell you. You had enough to carry.
-Mother -- ?
-May I speak with you? Alone?
-I am preparing for a ball!
-What is it, mother?
-I wish to discuss your brother.
-He is dead! By God's choice! There is nothing to discuss.
-First they told me he had died at birth. Then your father admitted he was alive, but well cared for, in secret. But the message that told of his death said he had been a prisoner.
-I am King, Mother! And I do not wish to discuss this with you.
-He was my blood -- and I demand to know what happened to him.
-Why would you ask now? You never asked before!
-Because I have dreamed of him. Not as the baby they took away, but as a man.
-It -- it doesn't matter, Mother! He is dead now! Dead!
-Louis, please -- !
-What had you to do with this, Mother?
-He is your brother!
-D'Artagnan, you will hunt down Aramis, Porthos and Athos, and bring me their heads, or I will have yours. And as for you, Phillippe... Back to the prison you shall go, and into the mask you hate.
-No, Louis! No!
-Your birthday celebration, your Majesty?
-Next week. This is a mere garden party -- and I wish to join it, so I will be brief. I am experiencing resistance from the Jesuits.
-Well... perhaps you should speak with them, your Majesty.
-I have demanded it -- and common priests present themselves! Can you imagine the arrogance? Common Jesuit priests try to act as my equals, and they refuse to reveal the names of anyone else in their order! No one can keep secrets like the Jesuits can, and the identity of their leader is the darkest secret they hold. Even the Pope himself does not
-How can I serve you in this?
-Perhaps you can find out who this secret leader of the Jesuits is. You are now a priest, but you were once a Musketeer, serving the throne of France, a throne ordained of God. Can you accept this mission, and keep it private?
-If I find out the identity of this Jesuit rebel. I will kill both him and the man who told me.
-Your Majesty...
-How goes that favor I asked of you?
-I grow closer to my target, your Majesty.
-Wh-- Wha--
-Don't look so shocked, Phillippe. Come, you're going back to prison.
-D'Artagnan, arrest them all!
-And some problems cannot be settled without one.
-What do you propose to do?
-It can. I know the way.
-What are they doing?
-Porthos sleeps, and you plot. Don't you think it's time you told me what it is you are plotting?
-The Prison of Belle Sur.
-What is that?
-A body.
-Prison was horrible but it was his home. He's been torn from it by strangers. He's frightened, exhausted -- and the mask is familiar. Let him rest in it tonight, and remove it tomorrow.
-Excellent, Athos. You have a keen sense of this man.
-Who is he, Aramis?
-Tomorrow.
-Tonight! Right now! We steal a man from a royal prison, we hide in a country chateau among an assortment of saints and sluts such as only you could provide, and still you wish to tell me nothing?!
-You seek facts, when it would be better to seek truth.
-You are not my priest, Aramis! You would not be, even if I had one.
-You are bitter, Athos. You are torn by grief, not only for Raoul, but for d'Artagnan, whom you love, and now treat as an enemy.
-He who is not with us is against us.
-Those are the words of a broken spirit. My spirit is whole. I have trusted d'Artagnan with my deepest secrets, and I will never believe he is my enemy.
-Then you are a fool -- a fool who has never lost a son. What gives you the right to judge me, to play God with the lives of others? Is it because you are so much holier than everyone else?!
-Switch?! That is your plan? It is ludicrous!
-I have it all worked out.
-Physical resemblance is but one small thing! Louis has an arrogance, a manner --
-Those can be adopted --
-And people close to him, who --
-Do you think I have not considered that? I have a plan -- and you may rest assured that it is brilliant!
-It is not just our lives you risk with this conceit of yours! It is Phillippe's as well!
-How is he?
-Resting, he's had a long day. Aramis --
-More wine!!
-You must reconsider this plan. Phillippe is like a child, he --
-You can do it.
-In a year, maybe two, I could teach him enough to --
-Three days.
-Three days??!!
-Phillippe -- he's very bright, he's perceptive, but he is in such turmoil --
-You grow fond of him. That's good.
-Go on.
-But -- what is Porthos doing?
-Now. You were saying?
-But -- what is he doing?
-Hang himself?!
-He's threatened to do it, it's been building up in him for months.
-We must stop him!
-Come now, Athos, if Porthos is determined to end his life, then he will certainly manage to find the opportunity.
-Poor Phillippe!
-The mask is terrifying... especially when unexpected. Do you notice?
-Where are you going?!
-Paris. There is still much to do. We'll be back soon. Be ready.
-But Aramis -- ! Phillippe can learn in time, but --
-He can learn to be Phillippe in time. But first he must learn to be Louis, and for that he has two more days.
-What you're asking is impossible!
-I offer you the perfect revolution. A revolution without bloodshed, without any loss of life, even without treason, for he too is the son of the King.
-But --
-Aramis, this will never --
-Louis is planning a visit to the Vatican, then who knows where after that. If we miss him now we may not get another chance.
-But --
-Remember, Phillippe... nobility is born in the heart.
-Bloody hell...
-He seeks redemption.
-You're a fool!
-Perhaps. But of d'Artagnan I am certain. What he did tonight was what he told us all along he would do -- be faithful to his King.
-So what has changed?
-Then to the Bastille.
-A simple theological discussion.
-Aramis -- the King wishes to see you.
-Look at us. We are old men now. But once we were young. And when we saw injustice, we fought it.
-No! Stop --
-I will need you all. All for one. One for all.
-I have heard many confessions, d'Artagnan. But even if I were not a priest, I could tell your heart has a secret weight, and it is hurting you to carry it alone.
-I cannot betray Louis. I will defend him with my life.
-Pull them back, d'Artagnan.
-You can't do it.
-Pull them back!
-Everyone back.
-Once you are through, don't stop until you reach the river.
-They will know you helped us, if we go this way.
-D'Artagnan... Those are young Musketeers down there. They have been weaned on our legends. They revere us -- it is an advantage. Why don't we charge them?
-Please revel with me, Aramis, I need my spirits lifted. I'm old, I'm weak, my strength is gone --
-Be quiet, you fat fool. Can't you see I'm praying?
-I just said you're praying! Are you deaf too? I know you're blind, because if you had seen the tits that just walked out of here, you'd have tears in your eyes.
-There are more important things than tits.
-Forgiveness.
-I observe your forgiveness isn't sweeter than a plump nipple.
-Aramis... is this the way to hell?
-Where are we?
-Mother of God!
-It is also a place of burial.
-A tomb? We're in a tomb?
-But -- doesn't God ordain both Pope and King?
-So they tell us. But what are we to believe when the king is a tyrant, and the Church, meant to stand for all those oppressed, has become the tool of oppression? When no conscience is tolerated? No dissent, no objection?
-It is a weighty problem, Aramis -- but perhaps you should leave it to this secret General of the Jesuits, whoever he might be.
-And why are you so glum?
-Aramis! Athos! He looks exactly like... exactly like...
-The greatest secret of life is who we truly are. Now I must give you that secret, which has been kept from you your whole life. It began on the night when Louis was born.
-I remember that night. D'Artagnan was drunk, the only time I've seen him that way. The three of us were reveling, remember, Athos?
-I don't understand. What does this have to do with...? You carried a baby somewhere, it's unusual, but --
-Not just a baby, Porthos. I carried the child of the king.
-The child of the king is... the king. Louis!
-No, not Louis!
-Athos, do you understand this? He confuses me --
-I carried the king's child! The queen had twins that night, and one of them was sent away, in secret!
-But why?
-You've been moping for months. Now that you've gotten the idea of killing yourself out of the way, you can stop boring me and start being useful to me. Now get some rest.
-Coming?
-What use am I?
-We go someplace dangerous.
-Let's see you rob somebody with your pistol there!
-Aramis... These are... these are whores!
-So was Mary Magdalene, and our Lord loved her.
-He's going to kill you, Aramis.
-But what if something extraordinary happened? Something so unusual that all the attention went to someone else? Someone whose confirmation of Phillippe the King would never be questioned.
-Who?
-D'Artagnan watches everything. We have to be lucky.
-Can we eat... before we go? This excitement's given me an appetite.
-D'Artagnan. Perhaps you should accept his offer, for we are dead anyway.
-He gets one day of confession each year. Today is the day.
-Who does?
-What do we do now?
-D'Artagnan, unready?
-"Phillippe has been removed to the Bastille, to the lower dungeon. At midnight tonight I will order the guard changed, and will delay the replacements for ten minutes. That should give you ample time. Never have I needed more to say: One for all, and all for one. D'Artagnan."
-What choice is there? If Phillippe is in the Bastille, then to the Bastille we will go.
-You are right. But it is a trap.
-It worked!
-Do I look all right?
-None of the ladies will be able to take their eyes off you.
-I care only about Michelle. Should I ask her when we first arrive? Or... or when we're leaving? I could ask her in the carriage -- but it is more romantic at the palace. I get so confused...
-Mother's ring. I can't take this.
-That must be Raoul! Raoul! Look, d'Artagnan's come to visit...! What's wrong? You look awful!
-But -- are you sure?
-We were at her door. I was just taking the ring from my pocket, for the third time today, when a young Musketeer brought the invitation for her to become a lady-in-waiting for the Queen Mother.
-Michelle cannot possibly accept!
-She cannot possibly refuse. Her family is poor, they have even less money than we do. And along with the invitation, the King sent the diamond pendant, from the piglet.
-Piglet -- ? What are you -- ?
-Never mind, Papa, it doesn't matter now. She loved me once. I want to die remembering that.
-Die? What...?
-I have rejoined the army, and asked to resume my commission at the head of the troops of General Fromberge.
-Fromberge...?! At the front?! No.
-It is already done. I have just stopped at Mother's grave, to say goodbye, before coming to tell you.
-Goodbye, father. I am sorry.
-D'Artagnan!
-It's been too long.
-Thanks, but not for me.
-You can't drink with a friend you haven't seen in months?
-I have ordered a drill of the Royal Guard for midnight, and must be clear-headed for it.
-Midnight! Mon dieu! Driving the youngsters hard, eh?
-They must stay sharp. There was an attempt on the King's life today.
-Another? How many times have you saved his life in this year alone? Three? Four?
-I heard your playing.
-This cannot be. Everyone knows the Queen Mother is a recluse, and the ladies-in-waiting are but mistresses for the king!
-If the young woman truly loves Raoul --
-You knew this was happening. You knew and that's why you came.
-I fear I know our King. I came to try to bring you hope.
-What hope is there? A wartime commission cannot be vacated except by the king, and what chance is there of that? Fromberge is on the battle line, and Raoul --
-I have dispatches a message to Fromberge requesting that Raoul be kept far from the fighting.
-Raoul is everything to me.
-I know.
-I will also speak with the King, for he is surely unaware of the problems his invitation to Mademoiselle Beaufort has caused.
-You trust his character more than anyone else does.
-Raoul is hurrying to the front, so I must hurry too.
-Athos, please...!
-Get out of my way.
-Where are you going?
-Athos! I know life means nothing to you at this moment, but I will not let you kill yourself.
-The King killed my son!
-It is honor you serve, and when the king is dishonorable you are removed from your oath of honor!
-An oath is an oath precisely because it cannot be removed!
-Why do you follow him, d'Artagnan?! I know you have put service above your own life, but why does this King deserve such loyalty? He is a monster! He executes ministers for his own blunders, with their families hostage so they take the blame! He has no honor!
-If you ever loved me -- if you ever loved honor, or anything else -- then stand now, and let it happen.
-He lies. He is here to trap us.
-Recent hours have been a shock.
-Perhaps not as much as you might imagine. When tutors answered every question except those about who I was. When I was imprisoned in a way no other man had ever been, I knew there was something different about me. But a king...
-Phillippe... there is something I hope you understand. Terrible cruelty has been used against you. And... you must understand that you did nothing to deserve it.
-There is... wrath... in me. I have learned to hide it. Those years in the cell, I dreamed that freedom would someday just happen, the way the mask happened. Now I am free. And with each free breath I feel the growing desire to make someone suffer for all I lost. Look at this, all this that for ten years I could not see!
-The desire for vengeance... can be a poison.
-What is its antidote?
-You look so sad. Is it something I have done?
-It is something I have done -- or did not do.
-What is that?
-I've worn this mask so long, I couldn't sleep without it.
-I am so sorry! Forgive me, I --
-No! Do not be sorry! Never be sorry! The King cares for nothing and for no one! There are no mistakes when you are King! What you do is right for every person! A King has contempt for everyone!
-Is that the king of king you wish me to be? Or do you say this because of your son?
-How did you know -- ?
-These rooms are yours. Up these stairs -- or through this hidden passage -- is the room of your mistress... Michelle.
-Whose rooms are those?
-The room of the King's favorite mistress?
-Phillippe...?
-One for all. All for one.
-All this time... I was a lost secret. But you were hiding all your loyalty, all your love. You were the Man in the Iron Mask.
-Are you hungry?
-This place... I once lived in a country house. I had guardians -- an old man and woman. And tutors. But no friends. Then when I was twelve, they came and took me to the prison.
-Who came?
-A man in black. I never saw his face. He took me to the cell. A blacksmith came and they put me into the mask. For days I shouted, "What have I done? Why do you do this to me?" But no one heard, so I just stopped shouting.
-The old man and woman called me... Phillippe.
-Your Majesty...
-The plans for use of the maze were not disclosed to me.
-I decided it this morning.
-Then you must allow me to stay close to you so that --
-I am King, d'Artagnan. I will change my mind as I wish, and I will enjoy my banquet as I wish!
-But I deployed the Royal Guards according to your previous --
-Aaa! D'Artagnan! These passages were constructed for the King's security, not so you could step from my father's portrait and startle me to death!
-It is for your security that I have come, your Majesty -- for the security of your honor.
-I already know about the riots, d'Artagnan, I heard them out there whispering. Some fool gave the order to distribute rotten food. I will deal with it tomorrow.
-Then there is one more thing, of an even more personal nature.
-A personal nature?
-Betrothed? I think not.
-Miss Beaufort has accepted our invitation. By this we can only suppose that she wishes to come -- as we wish her to be here.
-Your Majesty has had many women --
-That is my desire, and my desire is what should concern you, not the sentiments of some commoner!
-It is not Raoul's heart alone that concerns me. It is yours. I know you find women compliant -- especially the poorer ones like Michelle. But do they love you? Do you love them? What about a queen to love? A son of your own?
-What quaint notions, d'Artagnan! But they contradict my father, who picked his queen when he was old, and only then to bear me.
-There is more to love than he knew, or that you know.
-You dare criticize my father?! Or lecture me?!
-Not criticize -- plead. Love. Love your people, and you will not bear to see them hungry. Love women, and they will love you. Love yourself, and --
-That is enough! You are a good servant, d'Artagnan, but you forget your place!
-At least help Raoul.
-Silence! I order you!
-Order Fromberge to keep him in safety! It is the least you can do, to protect your own honor!
-I will consider it. Now leave me.
-I just left the garden, it was empty. What did you see?
-Your Majesty. This ball, with an open invitation to the nobility of Paris -- we have no way of checking --
-Your Majesty...?
-I want all these passages sealed! Another stupid idea of my father's! Seal them all, every one!
-It shall be done, your Majesty.
-Even the bedchamber passages! Let none remain!
-I was told this impostor was dead!
-... You knew you had a double?
-I -- I thought he was but... an impostor who resembled --
-Your Majesty... This man before you... He is royal blood, the same as you. To spill it is the one thing even you cannot do. It is against the laws of God, and of France.
-Get out of my way.
-Not once have I ever asked anything for myself. I ask now. Forgive this man, this prisoner... your brother.
-Forgive?!
-Aramis, Porthos and Athos too. I know what they have done was a threat against you -- and yet that threat has been removed, with no harm coming to your Majesty. If their passions were in error, their spirits have ever been noble. Forgive them.
-Where is Michelle?
-Continue.
-Sire, we have an emergency -- of security. I must ask you to accompany me.
-... The ball... Continue.
-Wait. Bargain me to Louis, for all your lives. You have done your best. Let me go, and let all of you find peace.
-Phillippe!
-You dead yet?
-Food, moron.
-What number did you tear out?
-Eh?
-What number, on the first page?
-... Two-thirty-seven.
-You've... memorized...?
-I would not have disturbed you, Majesty, but you ordered me to keep you informed --
-Yes, yes, go on.
-Did they kill him?
-Who was Athos seeking? Tell me! Did he try to enter the palace?
-... He did -- but Captain d'Artagnan blocked his way.
-Do you want Athos arrested, your Majesty?
-Now. Where is d'Artagnan?
-Out directing the search for the traitors.
-Cowards! Twenty run from four?!
-Magnificent valor...
-Riots? My people live in the world's most beautiful city, their king has the grandest palaces on earth. Why should they feel anything but pride and contentment?
-Well yes, of course, Majesty, and I'm sure they are content... except that... well, they are starving.
-Majesty... We have more than enough food set aside for your birthday celebration next week. If we distributed some of that, we would have time to gather more before --
-Ah yes, the riots. We have food stocks on the wharves right now, no?
-That food has spoiled. That is why it was not shipped to the army.
-Exactly why it should be given away.
-I would have said it was impossible, but I believe the excitement of the chase has made you even more beautiful.
-Sire, I --
-Sire! I -- How did you --
-How did I get in? You're new here, and will soon learn many secrets. What is that?
-... Nothing.
-From Raoul. He urges you to guard your honor -- as if it could be in any danger... from your king.
-Raoul... is in love...
-The food doesn't please you?
-It's lovely. It's just...
-This is more than you are used to. Your mother is a seamstress, your father is dead. You have three younger sisters, two of whom suffer from consumption. Don't look so surprised, Kings know such things.
-I... we are humble people...
-Wait, no! Do not be ashamed. The straits of your family need not be permanent. It is a simple matter to have them brought to one of my country estates, where they may have fine meals, and physicians to look after them.
-You would do that, your Majesty?
-You are beautiful. You know you are.
-Sire, I --
-Shall I leave?
-Did you know... about Raoul?
-I will order a Mass for his soul. It will guarantee his place in Heaven.
-Raoul... Oh, Raoul...
-Listen, my darling... Raoul was a... a good friend. And now he is dead and that is very sad but --
-Captain Doyle?
-What can I do for you?
-Your department contacted our agency regarding information on Sarah Williams.
-We did a little digging on Jim Trudell at Sergeant Zydowski's request. He's 31, no priors, and he's been working for the military for ten years.
-We ran the i.d. I could have told you that.
-I don't think you understand. I don't mean shuffling papers in an office, I mean Jim Trudell worked classified assignments, special forces...sabotage...until last year. He was brought up on charges of espionage, but the charges were later dropped, and he sprang the service.
-Yeah?..well what are you getting at? You saying he has an agenda down here?
-Our agency monitors all threats very carefully, and there's good reason to believe Jim Trudell has the training, the connections, and the experience to present a clear threat to the public if he remains at large.
-If what you're saying is true, then why would he have killed two police officers? A man like that would want to lay low, if he was planning some kind of damn sabotage mission!
-I'm sure if our departments cooperate we can find out the truth.
-Cooperate?
-Every step of the way.
-Alright, we know who we're looking for. Play it cool until the time is right to make a move. Let's not pull any gangbusters shit or we'll lose him again.
-You mind if I ride with you?
-It's Marvosa -
-What do you need?
-He walked in on Fleming and took him out.
-So what?
-So what is they have enough to shut us down!
-You mean shut your ass down!
-Yeah?
-Where are you?
-We're by Ozone...
-You set to go -
-What do you think?
-Bullshit...
-You can cut the shit, asshole--
-What the hell happened?
-He busted the back window with his feet, and fled on foot. We pursued him into this warehouse - but he's - gone, south - maybe a couple of miles if he's fast -
-Why didn't you call for back-up! What were you thinking, Jesus!!!
-I don't know how you're used to doing things, Marvosa, but it sounds like some damn sloppy work to me!
-What the hell is this Marvosa!!
-He must have got the keys... off Stanton.
-I'm going to look for him on my own. Fuck this.
-Don't take any chances. Call for back-up this time!
-Did you hit him?
-What did the six-toes have to say?
-Sarah Williams left the bar with Trudell on her own.
-So? Girls left bars with Ted Bundy too. It doesn't rule out foul play.
-But what was a hair dresser from Malibu doing 60 miles away in some dive bar?
-Find out for me.
-Let's roll -
-If you can trail him to a remote area do it. We all want a piece of him but let's keep our heads and stay within the law - we got people everywhere out here.
-These crowds are going to make it a bitch!
-I'll take the south end -
-What's this?
-What?
-When did you join the force? You know, the police force, the place you work...
-Nineteen eighty four. What fucking difference does it make?
-Did you start out area six?
-So you must have known Fleming... and Stanton -
-Yeah I saw 'em around. They worked vice.
-Well don't you think that's odd?
-It's kind of a funny coincidence, isn't it?
-Gotta come from somewhere...
-Just wondering if maybe they had a thing going with this hooker, you know, some connection.
-Outside hacker? What the fuck are you talking about?
-Something wrong with you Marvosa?
-It's just...catching up with me, you know?
-Alright, where is she?
-And who are you?
-Who am I? I'm gonna be your worst fucking nightmare until you start breaking it down for me. You understand? Where did you get the car!
-Anyhow... you wake up and she's gone. But-- --this is my favorite part-- she leaves you the keys to a brand new Beemer.
-So... to get the car back, you break into her house.
-I didn't break in - the back door was open!
-Are you alright?
-I tell you one thing Trudell - you'd make a hell of a cop...
-The guy was looking for trouble, shoving people around, being an asshole...
-And he took a swing at you?
-Yeah...the guy was psycho - I was just tying to protect the girl...
-Did he harm the girl?
-Hell, he probably raped her in the lot, dumped the body somewhere. That's what he was like - a real wacko.
-Now you listen to me hay-seed! If you don't want to spend a year in jail for making a false report you'll start giving me straight answers, you got that!!
-I was just having a little fun -
-And what did he do to the girl?
-Zydowski. It's about time.
-You won't like this. I ran the prints from the house. No police record on your suspect--at least not in our files. But there is a match on the girl.
-Yeah?
-Her prints belong to Stephanie Field, convicted for soliciting two years ago.
-What? Wait a minute -
-That's not all. According to the computer - she died of a drug overdose last year.
-Did you read today's paper?
-No Zydowski I didn't read today's paper - it's just going to irritate the hell out of me.
-Something I don't already know?
-Vice...you think they had something to do with this dead hooker?
-And where the hell is Marvosa?
-He said he was following up some lead.
-Captain there's someone here to see you - he's waiting in your office.
-Who is it?
-Where is he?!!
-Speak of the devil.
-They found the getaway Mercedes a parking garage north of Venice. It checks out.
-Captain?
-Yeah?
-So where are you from?
-Up north.
-Where up north?
-Seattle.
-No...
-Mind if I turn out the light?
-You know, you don't seem afraid of much either. How do you know I'm not going to try to rape you?
-You always carry a gun with you?
-No.
-What's going on here?
-Why did you set me up?
-I didn't. I figured you leave it well enough alone.
-Well you figured wrong! And now I'm public enemy number one. You have an answer for that?
-I had to get away! My life was in danger!
-Look what are you anyway? Some kind of spy?
-No. A witness.
-What exactly did you see?
-Six months ago, a police lieutenant named Charles Fletcher was found dead in a hotel room - he blew his brains out - left no note, you may have heard of it...
-No, but I'm listening.
-I was there, and it was no suicide. He was killed by professionals. I was in the bathroom when it happened.
-Didn't these - professionals - figure he had a girl in the room?
-And what did you do?
-I got out of there. I just grabbed up my stuff, and then I found it.
-I had it all on tape...
-What did you do then?
-I didn't know what to do - but I knew I had something somebody would want. That's where I met him - told him what I had. The FBI set me up with a new place...but the cops found me somehow. So I ran...and met you.
-What happened with the tape?
-I took it with me. It's in a safe place.
-There's something I've been meaning to ask you, Stephanie.
-Yeah.
-Have you ever heard of the Live Oak River?
-No -
-What?
-Tubbs, it's me.
-Well where are ya, what are ya, drunk?
-No...I'm in some trouble...
-Well...whatsamatter? Run in with the law?
-You are drunk. You know, it's been a long time and I'd love to catch up, but I really got to -
-Tubbs listen! I don't know anywhere else to go! I need your help!
-Just what did you get yourself into, Jimmy?
-It's...it's a long story. Can we meet somewhere?
-Jesus, man...
-Operator, I'd like to make a collect call - 213-467-0972...
-Holy shit -
-Hello Tubbs. Can I come in?
-No...
-And?...
-I killed them.
-Oh, shit, shit, shit - I don't know about all this! You sure?!
-Jimmy, do you realize what you did? Man that's like death penalty shit -
-It was self-defense, Tubbs! They're dirty! I walked in on something, I don't know what -
-You gotta turn yourself in. Before it's too late -
-They're inside the department, they're everywhere - it's not safe.
-Shit, you know what happens to me if I'm harboring a fugitive? I already think they're on to me! I thought you were the phone police for Chrissake!
-Oh man...what happened?
-I don't know. But I'm in trouble. I'm all over the papers. I have to figure out what's going on.
-I hope you haven't lost your touch with this stuff.
-I've got a better idea...
-OK, I'm logged on to the municipal network. I'm showing sixteen people with the name Sarah Williams in L.A. county. None of them live in Hollywood. Do you remember the address?
-1490...Breckinridge...
-Donut?
-No thanks. How do you know they can't catch you on this thing?
-I don't, but I'm pretty sure. It's a long story but I cloned a cellular linkup with a binary code scrambler and sent it through the phone network mainframe. If they start a trace it will be to a Pic'n'Save on Pico.
-I knew I could count on you.
-OK...county tax records...they're saying 1490 Breckinridge is owned by... an Atlantic Trust Corporation...they have a P.O. box in D.C.
-How about Marvosa and the others?
-So...what happened to you, Jimmy? I figure you'd be in some far off place somewhere, living on the edge like the good old days.
-You know this time, there's nobody that's gonna cover your ass. You're over your head this time.
-OK...Marvosa makes calls to this fax number overseas. And that's Switzerland's country code.
-A bank?
-Who knows? Maybe he's ordering army knives. I can't access that, but look what we have here...these are the account records for Fleming and Marvosa.
-Both at the same bank...
-Ahh, shit. We're pretty much tapped out. I'm getting denied access all over the place...
-It's not very much to go on...is there anything else we can check?
-That was her - the girl... We have to go.
-I'm not going anywhere!
-Tubbs, these people mean business.
-I can't help you anymore, Jimmy. I'm sorry.
-Are you going to be alright?
-Where are you going?
-Well I've kind of had my fill of the place, you know what I mean?
-You must be going somewhere.
-I don't have any real destination. I'm just going South.
-I'm stranded out here.
-Where did you learn to fight like that? JIM I read a book.
-Well, you saved me from a bad situation. Thanks. I admit this is...unusual.
-Are you a regular there?
-Are you serious? My boyfriend ditched me...
-Ditched you?
-We were fighting - I told him to let me out. So where are you headed?
-What would your - boyfriend - think?
-You don't seem afraid of much.
-No - that's not it! She said her boyfriend stranded her up there! I didn't ask her to come with me!
-Did you have sex with her?
-What?
-Did you have sexual intercourse with the woman in question?
-No. It wasn't like that!
-Where am I going?
-Don't you guys ever knock?
-Where is he?
-Long gone, huh?
-I asked him not to tell me where he was going. I told him I don't want any part of it.
-Oh yeah? You're a smart man?...
-Yeah, and that's all I'm going to say. If you want to arrest me, go ahead...
-What about him?
-I need to ask you questions of a psychological nature.
-Remember when you asked for a study on him, I refused. Same goes for now.
-That was Peterson upstairs.
-It was you who did the asking.
-He doesn't think you run mind games on him.
-I wouldn't presume to try.
-You're never alone in a room with Graham, are you? You're smooth about it, but you're never one-on-one with him. Why's that? Do you think he's psychic?
-He's an eideteker. He has almost total recall. But I don't think he's psychic. What he has it empathy and projection. He can assume your point of view and mine.., and some other points of view that scare and sicken him.
-Why aren't you ever alone with him?
-Because I'm professionally concerned about him. And he'd pick up on that. He's fast. He hates being prodded and poked. So do I. What do you want?
-His nervous breakdown followed Hobbs. Could he kill again if he had to save his life? Or would he hesitate?
-I'll tell you the events. The psychology's none of your business. Hobbs was trying to cut his eleven- year-old daughter's throat. Graham shot him with his .38 six times. Hobbs still didn't go down. He had to wade in...
-That's when it happened?
-No. It happened when Graham went to see Hobbs' daughter four months later in the hospital. She saved her carotid artery.., but lost three fingers and her larynx. She was connected up to a voice box. When Graham went to see her, she asked him -- through the speaker: 'Why did you have to kill my daddy?' That's when Graham had his nervous breakdown.
-What's the bottom line?
-If he pushes too deep into our boy's mind-set, he may destroy himself. What are you planning, Jack?
-Could he handle a direct contact?
-Crawford has a proposition. I don't think it's a good idea.
-What have we missed?
-Sidney: I don't understand him. We know he re-arranges the kids and husbands into a dead audience. To witness the act. We know he thinks the act is making him into something different. His 'becoming'... but I don't know what it is he thinks he's becoming. The answer is something to do with how he uses the mirrors. That's what's missing for me. Why
-The usual motivation doesn't apply to him, nor the way he uses them. I don't have an answer for you. Listen to me, my friend: leave this.
-And do what? Read about the next family in the morning paper? In my Monkey Ward safehouse 'cause I can't take my family home? This ends when I make it over.
-How are Molly and the boy?
-The main thing is: how was Lecktor to reply.
-That's probably in the part Lecktor tore out. At the top it says: 'I hope we can correspond.' And then the hole begins. It looks like Lecktor went over it with a felt tip pen and then folded it and pinched most of it away.
-In thirty-five minutes.
-Then the Tooth Fairy named the book in the part Lecktor tore out.
-Right. What about sweating Lecktor?
-They tried sodium amytal on him three years ago to find where he buried a Princeton student. He gave them a recipe for potato chip dip.
-It has to be a book the Tooth Fairy would know Lecktor has in his cell.
-How long do I have?
-Aniline dyes in the inks in felt-tip pens -- which is what Lecktor has -- are transparent to infrared. The Tooth Fairy's ballpoint isn't...
-That could be the tip of a 't. Here and here. And here.
-The Chicago office is running through all the personal ads in the Tattler right now.
-If there's any doubt, we matched the indents of the bitemark on the note against the Smithsonian teeth. This is your boy... He folded the bottom part, including what Lecktor tore out. In this enlargement of the back side, oblique light revealed impressions. We can make out: 'six-six-six'. I didn't spot it until I had this high-contrast print. I advised Chicago as soon as
-No. The numbers aren't right for a jailhouse alphabet code. It's a book code. And your message has to go out in it, or he'll know it's not Lecktor talking to him.
-Book code?
-'One hundred prayers' could be the page number. The paired numbers and the scriptural references could be line and letter. But what book?
-Not the Bible?
-Willingham, when he tossed his cell, took Polaroids so they could get everything back in place...
-Have him meet me with pictures of Lecktor's books...
-Where?
-This is Chester here. Who am I talking to?
-Will Graham, Jack Crawford...
-We got an ad order in tonight's "Tattler" with 'six-six-six' in it. It's being Telexed to you right now.
-Read it.
-'Dear Pilgrim, you honor me.'
-That's it. Lecktor called him a Pilgrim when he was talking to me...
-Whatever I say, you'll take him away, won't you?
-I have to.
-You're his friend, Jack. Why can't you leave him alone?
-Because it's his bad luck to be special.
-He thinks you want him to look at evidence.
-Nobody's better with evidence. But he has the other thing, too. He doesn't like that part of it...
-Talking about 'like,' you don't like me very much, do you?
-No. I don't like people who park in the 'handicapped zone'...
-Let's go to bed. I'll rub your back.
-I should have caught you at the boat yard when you got off work. You don't want to talk about it here...
-I don't want to talk about it anywhere. If you brought pictures, leave them in the briefcase. Molly and Kevin will be back soon.
-How much do you know?
-What was in the 'Miami Herald' and the 'Times.' Confessions?
-Eighty-six so far. All cranks. He smashes the mirrors and uses the pieces. None of them knew that;
-What else did you keep out of the papers?
-Blond, right-handed, really strong, wears a size eleven shoe. The prints are all smooth gloves. He's on a full moon cycle. Both times. His blood is AB Positive.
-Somebody hurt him?
-Will... you saw this in the papers. The second one was all over TV. Did you ever think about givin' me a call?
-No.
-Why not?
-The Bureau already has the best lab. Plus you have Bloom at the University of Chicago...
-And I got you down here fixing fuckin' boat motors.
-You don't need me. I wouldn't be useful to you anymore, Jack.
-Last two like this we had, you caught.
-That was three years ago. And by doing the same things you and the rest of them at the lab are doing.
-That's not entirely true, Will. It's the way you think.
-I think there has been a lot of bullshit about the way I think. I came down here to get away from all that.
-You look all right now.
-If you can't look anymore, I understand...
-As long as they're dead...
-Let's talk after dinner. Stay and eat.
-Jack, this is Graham. Is Price still in Latent Prints?
-He's working on the single print index. What time is it?
-Get him to Atlanta.
-You said the guy down here is good.
-He is good. Bur not as good as Price.
-What do you want to do?
-A cat. We found a litter box downstairs but not the cat. Neighbors are watching for it.
-...snuck in the hospital while I was sedated, flipped back the sheets and shot pictures. The only decent thing he did was run a black square over my balls...
-Atlanta and Birmingham can run the thumb print against known sex offenders. Five will get you ten they don't come up with an identification. Jimmie may in the Finder program... if he's ever been printed and in his Index.
-Say we've arrested a good suspect. You walk in and see him. What is there about him that doesn't surprise you?
-I don't know, Jack. He's got no face for me.
-You can tell something about him or we wouldn't have found the finger print...
-Don't expect too much from me, Jack, all right? We'll get him one way or the other.
-What's one way?
-We find an event that connects both families. Same vacation hotel; same hospital, different times. Then we check employees and come up with a male nurse, hairdresser, whatever... If we find out how he found them, then we'll find him.
-We're running it through the computers now. So far there's no event or service that doubles back into both families. Plus they were big consumers: snowmobiles, fishing trips, scuba, videogames, lots of routine medical and dental. It's a haystack. What's the other?
-He makes noise going in and the husband gets to a gun in time.
-No other possibilities?
-You think I'm gonna spot him 'across a crowded room?' That's Ezio Pinza you're thinking about. The Tooth Fairy will go on until we get smart or get lucky. He won't stop.
-Why?
-Because he has a genuine taste for it, Jack.
-See? You do know something about him.
-For Christ's sake, why?
-Is it weird?
-The mark? Yes.
-If the Documents section can't do it... I'll send it up to Langley...
-Who did he ask for?
-How'd you know 'broken mirrors?' Bribe a cop? Tell it to the U.S. Attorney, Lounds!
-Sarah, order a chopper. I want the next thing smoking and I don't care whose. Ours. DCPD. Or the Marines. Then call Documents. Tell them to scramble a team. I want everybody moving in five minutes. Dr. Chilton, please do not handle the note. I have a Documents team on the way to you by helicopter to pick it up.
-We know the Tooth Fairy reads the Tattler. The stuff about me and Lector? I don't know any other paper that carried it...
-...there's three 't's' and an 'r' in Tattler.
-Twenty-five minutes. We won't make it in time.
-We let Lecktor's message run as is and decode it after. Or we pull it, work our the code and put ours in next week.
-Can we still get Lecktor's message out of the paper?
-Yes. And I'm leery of running Lecktor's message without knowing what it says.
-And if we pull it, we lose a week... We only have two to the next full moon.
-Run it.
-What if it encourages the Tooth Fairy to do something besides write?
-Who is it?
-Will, Bowman just broke the code. It was a James Beard cook book. You need to know what it says right now.
-What'd it say?
-I'll tell you in a second. Now listen to me: everything is okay, I'm taking care of it, so stay on the phone when I tell you.
-Tell me now.
-It says: 'Graham home, 3860 DeSoto Highway, Marathon, Florida. Save yourself. Kill them all. It's your home address, Will. The bastard gave him your home address.
-Get me a plane...
-Wait, Will...
-Get me a plane!
-I'll pick you up in...
-Asian studies at Langley said the mark you found on the tree is a Chinese character considered a positive or a lucky sign in gambling. The character also appears on a mah- jongg piece. It means Red Dragon. That mean anything to you?
-You got the message Lecktor called...
-I arranged for him to have a phone. I have to call him in a few minutes.
-From the lip wound, which happened seven hours before he got burned, we've narrowed it down to those cities within the seven-hour driving radius that also would've caught the 'Tattler' early Tuesday morning.
-What's it narrow down to?
-Milwaukee, Madison, Dubuque, Peoria, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Toledo and Detroit.
-That's narrow?
-When are you coming back?
-He changes them into beings that accept him... And he needs to see the acceptance, In the mirrors. I didn't understand the mirrors before. It's very important.
-'Changes?'
-It's a word. Killing them... His delusion is: if he sees himself accepted enough times, he will become as one who has the power to be accepted all the time. And he would record it somehow. So he can see himself received over and over again...
-VTR, film, Polaroid, stills, what?
-He's very careful, very... designed when he chooses. If we find out how he finds them, then we'll find him.
-There's no connection between the families.
-There has to be.
-He's a very shy boy...
-What?
-Something Lecktor said.
-Let's admit we struck out this month. The Gulf Stream's standing by. The basic lab stuff is on it. You, Zeller, Jimmie Price, a photographer. Anywhere he hits, we can be there in an hour and fifteen minutes. We get the call, we roll. The scene'll be very fresh...
-It's not over yet.
-Will?
-That's why the boltcutter.
-What's that?
-He used a boltcutter to trim the branch out of his way. When he was watching from the woods. Why didn't he use it to go through the basement door?
-Because a steel door and deadbolt were there when they were killed.
-You mean Jacobi put it in between when this film was made and when he was murdered?
-It's getting late and...
-It's the guard in the storeroom.
-We want the cans the Jacobi home movies came in. They're in the far corner of the room under the windows.
-What it's going to say on the Jacobi film can is the same as it says on the Leeds' film can: Gateway Lab, St. Louis, Missouri.
-No. It's Bob's Photo Store in...
-Have him peel the top label back.
-It does, doesn't it?
-Parking permits...
-Fogel has four more names. He knows two: both dark hair. Third's a woman. Fourth's a handicapped parking permit...
-Will...?
-What?
-Get the roadblocks set on Route Three! There's an access road to the back of the house. That ought to be a second team's approach. Will Graham and I are in an orchard due west of the house.
-How far away's the back-up?
-I'll cover the back.
-There's somebody in the house, Jack...
-Wait for the back-up! Will?
-...but if we find him, the print as evidence will get a conviction, Hold on. What?
-He asked for Will. He said he might call back tonight. I tried to hold him... I'm sorry... He said 'tell Graham "broken mirrors."'
-Where the hell's Graham!
-He went to the men's room.
-Not yet.
-...twenty-eight minutes. Cryptography at Langley?
-Ms. McClain, I'm Francis Dollarhyde. I came about the low light level infrared film stock.
-Can you give me an idea of the conditions...
-Shooting at maybe eight feet. I can't use any lights.
-What's being photographed?
-The activities of nocturnal animals.
-When do you need it?
-In eight days.
-The 1000 C Infrared Sensitive Film must be handled in total darkness. I keep the samples straight by touch code. It's still easier to handle than a 1200 series. Think it'll do?
-I'll take you.
-Ride with me.
-Thanks, but I'll take the bus. I do it all the time.
-Come on in. How about a gin and tonic?
-Tonic will be fine.
-How did you come to Gateway?
-You worked out well.
-I'll probably go back to it someday.
-Ready to tell me what kind of 'outing' this is?
-That was nice of you to think of that.
-Is that you. D?
-Yes, are you okay...?!
-Good morning... If you show me where things are, I'll make us some coffee...
-No! Don't go back into the house... It's too nice outside.
-My sister's coming by to pick me up for brunch. Why don't you come, too?
-I have work to do at the plant.
-I'll get my purse.
-Do you want a Coke or something, Reba?
-Reba...
-Francis? Where are you?
-The developing room. I need to... see you.
-I want to see you, too, Francis... Should I come over?
-No. Reba...?
-Are you okay...?
-I'll see you later. All right?
-You'll come by?
-Who is it?
-It's me.
-Who?
-Me.
-Am I alone in this room? Are you here... Why are you doing this?!
-Two groups of people were changed. Leeds and Jacobi. The police think they were murdered. Do you know what they call the being that visited these people? You can say.
-It's Dragon. Dragon... Red Dragon.
-THEY WILL FIND OUT ABOUT YOU. THEY WILL LOCK YOU IN A PLACE WORSE THAN BROTHER BUDDY'S.
-No.
-THEY'LL MAKE YOU BE A PIECE OF SHIT AGAIN. THEY'LL MAKE YOU BE A HARELIP AGAIN. YOU BETTER GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!
-SHE'LL FUCK OTHER PEOPLE. PRETTY PEOPLE. SHE'LL PUT IN HER MOUTH THEIR...
-YOU GIVE ME HER AND THE SHERMANS! YOU BETTER GIVE ME BOTH!
-Are you cold? Would you like a blanket?
-Was I in an accident?
-No, Mr. Lounds. You'll be just fine.
-My back hurts, my skin. Did I get burned? I hope to God I'm not burned.
-Burned? Burned. No. You just rest there. I'll be right back.
-What am I doing here?
-Do you know who I am, Mr. Lounds?
-I don't want to know.
-According to you I'm a sexual failure. An animal, you said. You know now, don't you?
-Yes.
-Do you feel privileged?
-I'm very scared.
-Do you pray to God, Mr. Lounds?
-Yes.
-Do you believe God is in attendance here, Mr. Lounds?
-I don't know...
-Open your eyes, Mr. Lounds.
-No. I don't want to see you.
-Look at the screen. That is William Blake's 'The Great Red Dragon and The Woman Clothed with the Sun.' Do you see?
-Do you see?
-Do you see?
-Mrs. Leeds harlequined with blood, her husband beside her. Do you see?
-Yes.
-Mrs. Jacobi after her changing. The Dragon rampant. Do you see?
-Yes.
-Freddie Lounds. Your photograph. Do you see?
-Oh, God.
-Do you see?
-Please, no.
-'No' what?
-Not me.
-Are you a man?
-Yes.
-Do you imply that I'm a queer?
-God, no.
-Are you queer, Mr. Lounds?
-Now you will read this into the tape recorder.
-You did very well. I apologize for the crude images. Next time I'll have film stock that doesn't need lights.
-You'll let me go now?
-You will tell the truth?
-Absolutely,
-Come in.
-Dr. Chilton.
-Yes?
-Do you have it?
-Put it down on my desk blotter and don't touch it again. Has anyone else handled it except you?
-Dr. Lecktor will stay in his room. That is absolutely the only place where he is not put in full body restraints. One wall of his room is a double barrier. I will have a chair put just outside.
-I might have to show him some material that could stimulate him.
-The consensus around here is that the only person who has demonstrated any practical understanding of Dr. Hannibal Lecktor is you, Mr. Graham. Can you tell me anything about him?
-No.
-I want to see Lecktor now.
-It's Will Graham...
-Well, it's about goddamn time! I have a note here, or two pieces of a note, that appears to be from the man who killed those people in Atlanta and....
-Can you read it to me?
-In a holding cell.
-How long can you keep Lecktor out without him getting suspicious?
-Linda King's desk.
-Hi, Linda. ..
-Linda doesn't come in nights.
-Maybe you can help me. This is Bob Greer of Blaine & Edwards Publishing Company. Dr. Bloom asked me to send a copy of 'The Psychiatrist and the Law' to someone. Linda never sent me the address and phone number.
-She'll be in, in the morning...
-She doesn't have a Rolodex.
-I'll bet she has a call caddy right next to her phone.
-Yeah...
-Well, zip that little pointer right on down to the letter G.
-Okay.
-We're looking for Graham. The man the book is supposed to go to is a Mr. Will Graham.
-Federal Bureau of Investigation, Tenth and Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C.
-Now I'll bet it has his home address there, too
-3680 DeSoto Highway. Marathon, Florida.
-This is Will Graham. Can I help you?
-No. I can help you.
-I don't understand.
-Do you know something about that?
-Why do you think I called?
-Talk to them a few minutes and you can tell they don't have the capacity to even understand what's going on. Do you?
-You tell me what you know about him. I'll tell you whether you're right or not.
-Let's get straight who we've talking about. Are you the man I'm interested in?
-I don't think I'll tell you.
-He's right-handed.
-Most people are.
-He's misunderstood.
-He's very strong physically.
-That's true.
-He's white and six feet tall. You haven't told me anything yet.
-Describe exactly what you think he did to Mrs. Leeds and I'll tell you if you're right or not.
-I don't want to do that,
-Our people swear he wore surgeons' gloves the whole time. They dusted everything.
-The report didn't mention nails and eyes.
-Why do you think he took his gloves off?
-Mrs. Leeds was a good-looking woman. I'd want to touch her skin in an intimate situation, wouldn't you?
-'Intimate? !"
-He may have a history of biting -- barroom fights or child abuse.
-He only bit women so far, right?
-That's all we know about. Most of the time in sex assaults the bite mark has a livid spot in the center. A suck mark. These don't. So, for him, biting may be a fighting pattern as much as sexual behavior. You could try emergency room personnel, treatment for bite wounds. I know that's pretty thin... He bites a lot.
-What's average?
-The Commissioner was saying you were the one that caught Dr. Lecktor three years ago. He killed nine people, didn't he?
-Nine that we know of. Two didn't die.
-What happened to them?
-One's on the respirator at a hospital in Baltimore. The other is in a private mental hospital in Denver.
-What did the psychologists say was wrong with Lecktor?
-Psychologists call him a sociopath. They don't know what else to call him.
-To yourself...
-I call him a monster.
-I understand he cut you pretty good...
-What about the dog?
-It's at the vet's. The kids brought it in with a puncture wound in the abdomen. icepick or an awl.
-Was the dog wearing a collar with the Leeds' name on it?
-No.
-He stopped by to see me at the shop before he came out here.
-What did he want?
-He asked how you are.
-And you said?
-I said you are fine, he should leave you the hell alone.
-I'm a forensic specialist, Molly. You've seen my diploma? I got a diploma and everything.
-You mended a crack in the wallpaper with your diploma. You are open and easy now... It took you a lot of work to get to that...
-We have it good, don't we?
-What the hell can I do?
-What you've already decided. You're not really asking.
-If I were?
-Stay here with me. Me. Me. Me. And Kevin. That's selfish, huh?
-Molly?
-Huh? Will? Is that you?
-It's me. I'll call you tomorrow, sweetheart. Go back to sleep. I love you...
-Hello, hotshot!
-Hey, baby! Where are you?
-At the store. You doin' some good?
-None you'd notice. I'm lonely...
-Me, too. And very erotic...
-Tell me about yourself.
-Which part? That or the day-to-day.
-Let's keep it the day-to-day stuff. How's Kevin?
-Kevin's fine. He had to recover the turtle eggs you two fenced in. The dogs dug them up. Tell me what you're doing.
-Eating junk food. They don't have a lock on anything, Molly. There's not enough information. Or I haven't done enough with it...
-Will you be in Atlanta for a while? I'm not buggin' you about coming home, I just wondered.
-I don't know. I'm goin' up to Baltimore this afternoon.
-To do what?
-I'm thinking about painting the kitchen. What color do you like, Will? Are you there?
-Yeah. Ah... yellow, let's paint it yellow.
-Yellow's a bad color for me. I'll look green at breakfast.
-Blue, then.
-Blue is cold.
-Molly, dear Molly. Go to bed now, baby...
-...sorry, Molly. I'm sorry this happened to you.
-He didn't know you had been in a mental institution. Be asked me if I knew. I said yes. I wanted to talk to him. He said he wanted to bring it up to you. Face to face.
-You remember when we first met? And were together alone in that room. And the exhilaration was too much to hold on to. And then something flickered across your face like a shadow and I asked you what was wrong?
-I remember.
-Do you remember what you said?
-Can I have one of your cigarettes?
-You haven't smoked in two years.
-Have you ever omitted telling me. things before?
-No.
-Then why?
-I wanted it over fast. It felt dirty to not tell you.
-Can you quit?
-No.
-And... where are things?
-What will you do?
-I have to go back to Birmingham.
-Is Crawford going with you?
-No. I have to be in there... alone. Maybe there's something for me if I know how he feels and thinks.
-You should go to Montana. Stay with Kevin's grandparents. They haven't seen him for a while. I'll come and get you afterwards...
-Hello.
-I was out in the garden. Mama came out and told me when she saw it on TV. Why didn't you call me?
-Mama was probably asleep.
-Will? Are you okay?
-Not too bad. I'll be here a few days longer. I want to see you.
-I want to see you, too.
-Today's Wednesday. By Friday I ought to...
-Mama has all Kevin's uncles and aunts coming down from Cheyenne next week and...
-Come home with me.
-Will, they never get to see Kevin and a few more days...
-What's this Mama shit?
-It's what Kevin called her when he was little...
-What's the problem, Molly?
-I came up here after Kevin's father died. They were very supportive and helped me adjust. I got myself together. I've gotten myself together now, too.
-Small difference: I'm not dead, yet.
-Will? You could come up here.
-They don't want me up there. Every time they look at me I remind them... If they thought about it, they'd want you. Bur all they really want's the boy. And they'll take you. But they don't want to see me...
-That's not true.
-Maybe we should give it some time...
-Let's forget who said what to whom...
-It's Will Graham. Is Molly there, Mr. Swenson?
-Well, how you doin', Mr. Graham?! You sure are in the center of a storm. Burning up lots of taxpayer's dollars, too, I bet. On the news they said he was a white man. He isn't really, is he?
-Sure he is. Blond. Probably Scandinavian, too...
-You going back down to Florida after?
-Yes. Is Molly there?
-My grandboy's been eatin' a ton of breakfast every day. Been out riding. Must be the good air. You oughta see that little booger eat. I'll bet he's gained ten pounds. Molly's out in the motor home...
-I know... 'Out in the good air...'
-What's that?
-Thanks for the lift.
-I'll come inside with you, if you like, but Mr. Crawford said you'd probably want to be alone.
-That's right.
-There's a VTR setup waiting in your hotel room, that you asked for. They transferred the home movies of both families onto half-inch VHS.
-Meet point's up ahead!
-Go on to the house.
-Lt. Fisk said...
-What do you want?
-Are you George Sherman?
-Yes. Who are you?
-My name's Will Graham. I...
-We're fine. Fine. We're all well. We're okay! That man, Crawford, called and... told me... ...how 'bout a drink? Coffee or something?
-No, I'm okay. I just wanted to... ...stop by and...
-Will it keep them out?
-Yeah...
-How many turtle eggs you think are in here?
-In this hatchery? Forty to fifty.
-Crabs would get most of the newborns before they made it to the sea, huh?
-It's a precaution... Why don't you run down to the bay. They got a swimming float.
-I'll hang around in here. I'll just be in the kitchen, Mom...
-Is there anything I need to know to see about Mom?
-No. You're very well-protected. No one can find our where you are.
-Barry's mom had this newspaper. It said you killed the guy in Minnesota and were in a mental hospital. Is it true?
-Yes.
-I figured I'd ask you...
-I was in the psychiatric wing. It bothers you, finding out I was in there... doesn't it?
-I told my dad before he died, I'd take care of Mom. And I'll do it. This guy wants to kill you?
-We don't know that.
-Are you gonna kill him?
-No. It's just my job to find him. I was in the hospital after Garrett Jacob Hobbs.
-How did it happen?
-Hobbs was insane. He was attacking college girls and he killed them.
-How?
-With a knife. I found a curly piece of metal in the clothes of one of the girls. The kind of shred a pipe threader makes. I was taking a look at steam fitters, plumbers. It took a long time. In one place there was a resignation letter from a man named Hobbs. I saw it and it was..., peculiar. I was going up
-You went in the apartment?
-Did the girl die?
-No.
-She got all right?
-...after a while.
-And Hobbs died?
-What kind of coffee do you like?
-Huh?
-That's the same atrocious aftershave you wore in court three years ago.
-Did you get my card?
-And how is Officer Stuart? The one who was the first to see my basement.
-Stuart is fine.
-Emotional problems, I hear. He was a very promising young officer. Do you ever have any problems, Will?
-No.
-Of course, you don't. I'm glad you came. My callers are all professional. Clinical psychiatrists from cornfield colleges somewhere. Second-raters, the lot.
-Dr. Bloom showed me your article on surgical addiction in the journal of Clinical Psychiatry.
-And?
-A layman..., layman. Interesting term. So many experts on government grants. And you say you're a 'layman?' But it was you who caught me, wasn't it, Will? Do you know how you did it'
-You've read the transcript. It's all there.
-No it's not. Do you know how you did it Will?
-It's in the transcript. What does it matter now?
-It doesn't matter to me, Will.
-I want you to help me, Dr. Lecktor.
-Yes, I thought so.
-It's about Atlanta and Birmingham.
-Yes.
-You read about it, I'm sure.
-In the papers. I don't tear out the articles. I wouldn't want them to think I was dwelling on anything morbid. You want to know how he's choosing them, don't you?
-I thought you would have some ideas.
-Why should I tell you?
-There are things you don't have. Research materials... I could speak to the Chief of Staff...?
-Chilton? Gruesome, isn't he? He fumbles at your head like a freshman pulling at a panty girdle. He actually tries to give me a Thematic and Apperception test. Hah. Sat there waiting for MF-13 to come up. It's a card with a woman in bed and a man in the foreground. I was supposed to avoid a sexual interpretation. I laughed in his face.
-You'll get to see the file on this case. And there's another reason.
-Pray tell.
-I thought you might be curious to find our if you're smarter than the person I'm looking for.
-Then by implication, you think that you are smarter than me, since you caught me.
-No. I knew that I'm not smarter than you are.
-Then how did you catch me, Will?
-You had disadvantages.
-What disadvantage?
-You're insane.
-Don't think you can persuade me with appeals to my intellectual vanity.
-I don't think I'll persuade you. You'll do it or you won't. Dr. Bloom is working an it anyway, and he's the best...
-Do you have the file with you
-Yes.
-Pictures?
-Yes.
-Let me have them, and I might consider it.
-No.
-Do you dream much, Will?
-Good-bye, Dr. Lecktor.
-What were the yards like?
-Big backyards, fences, some hedges, why?
-Because, my dear Will, if this Pilgrim imagines he has a relationship with the full moon, he might go outside and look at it. Have you seen blood in moonlight, Will? It appears quite black. If one were nude, it would be better to have outdoor privacy for this sort of thing.
-That's interesting.
-It's not 'interesting'. You thought of it before.
-Yes. I'd considered it.
-You came here to look at me, Will. To get the old scent again, didn't you?
-I want your opinion.
-I don't have one right now.
-When you do have one I'd like to hear it.
-May I keep the file?
-I haven't decided yet.
-No.
-Do you know how you caught me, Will?
-I wanted to congratulate you for the job you did on Mr. Lounds. I admired it enormously. What a cunning boy you are, Will.
-What do you want?
-You know Lounds's enlightened me on one thing: your confinement in the mental hospital. My attorney should have brought that our in court.
-I'm worn out with you crazy sons-of- bitches. If you've got something to say, Lecktor, say it.
-I want to help you, Will. You'd be more comfortable if you relaxed with yourself. We don't invent our natures, They're issued to us. Along with our lungs and pancreas and everything else. Why fight it?
-Fight what?
-I don't believe in God.
-You should, Will. God's terrific! He dropped a church roof on thirty- four of His worshippers in Texas last Wednesday night. Just as they were groveling to Him and singing a hymn. Don't you think that felt good? He wouldn't begrudge you two measly murders.
-Why does it feel good?
-...if he's smart he'll approach from the front, pass, and take you from the back. How well do you hear?
-Pretty well.
-I'm gonna spray your suit jackets. It'll be invisible in this light, but you'll stand out like a zebra for us. They told me you checked out a .44 Charter Arms Bulldog.
-Yes.
-Glaser Safety Slugs?
-...commercially prohibited. Number Twelve shot in liquid Teflon in a copper casing. On impact it all opens up in the target. Expect the recoil. They're hot loads. Body armor?
-Kevlar Second Chance.
-I hope you have a second chance...
-Because he's gone for the head shot seven out of eight times'
-You got it.
-Hey, I really enjoyed your set.
-Tank you veddy much.
-So I understand you're from Lithuania?
-Caspiar? I haven't heard of that.
-People love... comedians.
-You show a lot of promise... but... my concern is I don't know where to book you. You're not a stand-up... your act doesn't exactly translate to films... help me... where do you see yourself?
-Andy, c'mon IN! Thanks for flyin' out here!!
-The stewardess let me keep my headphones.
-Sitcom...?
-And this is a CLASS ACT! It's the guys who did the Mary Tyler Moore and Bob Newhart shows! It takes place in a taxi stand! And you're gonna be the Fonzie!
-I'm -- Fonzie? GEORGE NO! The Fonzie! The crazy breakout character! The guy that all the kids impersonate and put on their lunchboxes!
-George, I hate sitcoms.
-No.
-"No"? "No" to which part??
-Andy... this is every comedian's dream.
-I told you, I'm not a comedian. And sitcoms are the lowest form of entertainment: Stupid jokes and canned laughter.
-B-but, this is classy... they did Bob Newha--
-You have to do it.
-I refuse.
-Okay. Fine, I'll do it. But I have a few terms.
-Are you makin' fun of me --? This is RIDICULOUS!
-Those are my terms.
-They're IMPOSSIBLE!! Jesus! I mean -- "two guaranteed guest shots for Tony Clifton"??! Who is this TONY CLIFTON?!
-Andy?
-Hi George!
-Eh, hi, Andy. Look, this Tony Clifton... is he performing anywhere?
-Of course. But only on Monday nights.
-Andy!
-Look, I'm sorry. They're assholes! But we work in a creative business. You can't predict what people are gonna like --
-The ONLY reason I did Taxi was so I could have my own Special!
-Tell you what. I'll book you on some concerts, and meanwhile, we'll show the Special around... see if somebody wants to buy it --
-You signed for five years -- So four years, seven months.
-I'm sorry, George...
-When you play the Midwest and South, you DON'T MINDFUCK THESE PEOPLE! It's not postmodern -- it's rude. If you wanna perform in Texas, you give 'em Mighty Mouse! You give 'em Elvis!!
-But George, I like to push the boundaries...
-How long would they let me sleep?
-Hi, George! Good to hear from you!
-Hi, Andy. How's the weather up there?
-I'm here with Ed over at Taxi. There's been some trouble with Tony.
-Oh dear! George, this is gonna kill Tony. He's waited his whole life for this break.
-You're so proud. You're like some retarded kid comin' home from school: "Look, Dad, I got an F!"
-But wasn't it funny?
-George... I'm at a stage where the audience expects me to constantly shock them. But short of faking my death, or setting the theater on fire, I don't know what else to do. 'Cause I've always got to be one step ahead of them.
-That means it was a success. I woke up the audience -- like punk rock! Here, take this.
-They're having a laugh...
-WRONG! You haven't given them any clues that it's a parody!
-Andy, do you realize you don't do comedy anymore? Where's that sweet guy who used to do "Here I come to save the day!"? Please, enough with the wrestling! You've lost touch with reality!
-What, you don't think I can beat him?
-We were just trying to push the envelope --
-Maybe I can turn it into a bit. I can go back on the show, and say it was rigged. Demand a recount...
-Hey! Our first phone call! Hello?
-The world thinks Andy Kaufman sucks. So I was just giving 'em what they want...
-No, it's true. I have lung cancer.
-That's ridiculous. You don't even smoke.
-What was that all about?
-You must take a little pleasure in it.
-Andy, you're surrounded by what you create. You are the KING of negative energy.
-So how can I help you...?
-I wanna go back to work and put on a happy show. The best show anybody's ever seen!
-Do you wanna tour the clubs?
-I don't care about the money. I just want the show to deliver.
-So who's gonna pay for it?
-Tony Clifton.
-You know Tony doesn't have that kind of money.
-I can't move my arm.
-My hair is coming out.
-Did your -- doctor say it's okay for you to go back to work?
-Ehhh, you know those guys. If he had his way, I'd be stuck in the hospital, running tests all day. And anyway, I've found a new guy who's gonna be able to instantly remove the cancer.
-Really?
-So, Mr. Besserman, same slot tomorrow...?
-Eh, I dunno... Andy. I'm... thinkin' of letting you go...
-You're firing me?? You don't even pay me!
-What do you want? "Take my wife, please"??
-Sure! Comedy! Make jokes about the traffic. Do impressions. Maybe a little blue material...
-I don't swear. I -- I don't do what everyone else does!
-Maybe I should talk to the natives. Shoom boom boo ba! Shoom boom boo ba --
-Andy!
-But I've got a sports show. Championship wrestling, at five.
-You know that's not what I meant! Look, I'm gonna put my foot down! No more playing alone. You wanna perform, you GOTTA have an audience!
-B-but I have them.
-B-but... we saw... your neck...
-B-but... we saw... your neck...
-Andrew -- HOW DARE YOU!! For all we knew, you were DYING! Look at your mother -- she's still shaking!
-Andy... we don't want the viewer to get out of their chair. They might change the channel.
-Andy... uhh... this network has a long-standing policy: The viewer must be able to see the program.
-Five.
-Twenty!
-Ten.
-Right...
-Cue the commercial!
-Excuse me -- ?
-What are you talking about?! We just met an hour ago.
-No no no, it's not sex! I mean -- it can lead to sex... but really, it's just wrestling.
-What do you mean?
-I mean -- uh -- the colors in the sky are so vibrant. I love this time of day.
-Gosh, you scored! Look at all those goodies!
-Hey, I hope you didn't take that stuff I said seriously. It was just part of the show! It's like the old days, when a carnival barker would try to rile up the crowd.
-Hi...
-Hi... am I late?
-Popcorn?
-No thanks.
-Andy, the theater's that way!
-Why did you call me? The last person I ever expected to get a call from was you.
-Hi...
-Hi... am I late?
-Popcorn?
-No thanks.
-Andy, the theater's that way!
-Why did you call me? The last person I ever expected to get a call from was you.
-Gosh. Gee, Lynne... I was just so impressed with your wrestling moves.
-Oh! Uh, I hope I didn't offend you.
-Do you wanna to go to Memphis and get married?
-Do I wanna go to Memphis and get married?
-Why Memphis?
-And all this will be for real?
-Ooo, the little lady's upset. Well I say -- get back in the kitchen!
-Is this an act -- or are you addicted to causing trouble??
-Then stop treating me like a fucking prop.
-Go away.
-It's me.
-I brought you Haagen Dazs. Chocolate.
-I don't deserve Haagen Daz. I'm a horrible person.
-Andy, you're not horrible. You're just... complicated.
-You don't know the real me.
-Jesus, Andy! Can they cure it?
-They don't know... they've gotta run more tests.
-Have you told your family?
-How can you be so casual??!
-Even if I'm dying -- I still need clean socks.
-You're NOT DYING!
-I'm not comfortable with the last sketch. I DON'T do drug humor!
-Andy, it'll be fine! It's what we're known for! "Maui? "Wowie!"
-You're not listening to me --
-Don't worry! The kids will love it --
-Go to commercial, man! Get off the stage!
-I said I didn't want to do the sketch.
-GET OFF!
-T-there wasn't a reason to purposely hurt me --
-You're a wimp.
-My father said I should've gotten a lawyer --!
-Then your father's a wimp.
-T-there wasn't a reason to purposely hurt me --
-You're a wimp.
-My father said I should've gotten a lawyer --!
-Then your father's a wimp.
-Hey Andy, good show.
-I'm gonna quit.
-What?!?
-Each show is worse than the next.
-Are you nuts?! 40 million people watch you every week!
-So? What do they know?
-Give me the book.
-No! Andy, don't do it --
-I dunno about this... What will my mother think?
-She'll say, "Now my son is a man."
-It's so dirty.
-"Was this in actuality Andy Kaufman? And if it was Andy Kaufman, is Andy Kaufman crazy?"
-Look at this! An evil Russian! Ooo, here's an evil Nazi -- he likes to fight dirty! Hey, here's an evil Japanese guy!
-What is this, World War Two...?
-You know, I always wanted to be a bad-guy wrestler...
-"... has been rushed to a nearby hospital, where doctors are checking him for possible paralysis. His parents are at his bedside. Fans will best remember Kaufman as lovable Latka on television's Taxi"...
-It's a rave! Boy, if I ever fake my death, they'll really miss me.
-Sir, do you have a problem?
-I, I was asked to do this material - -
-Sure, because your new stuff's a bunch of crap. Kaufman, people are sick of you. The wrestling... the hoaxes...
-Hey -- that stuff gets written-up in the papers --
-I was very original!
-This is great. The crowd's gonna love this! Hey... do you still think any of those cowgirls are still alive?
-I dunno. If they were, they'd be pushin' 80.
-Well, call SAG. It'd be cool to get one on the show. I want the evening to build and build. It's gonna have the most incredible ending: Singers, dancers, the "Hallelujah Chorus" -- then the sky opens, and Santa Claus comes flying down!
-And you say, "Santa, what am I gettin' for Christmas?" And he says, "Cancer!"
-Are you at peace with your family?
-Um, yes. I haven't fought with them, since I started here.
-Goals are important.
-I stopped drinking. I gave up drugs. And I'm meditating three hours a day. It's the center of my life...
-Excuse me, Andy...
-This is very difficult for me to say... but -- perhaps it would be best if you didn't attend the retreat.
-Why?? I... I attend every year.
-"Philosophically"?
-Please! You've GOT to let me take the classes! It's how I keep myself BALANCED!!
-It is apparently not working.
-So HELP ME! All I wanna do is MEDITATE!!
-I don't see any injury to your neck, Mr. Kaufman.
-Are you sure?
-Positive.
-But my neck hurts... and I have a slight cough...
-It's probably just a strained muscle.
-Ehh -- Andy doesn't really like playing casinos. The audiences don't work well for him.
-Really?! You want Tony Clifton to headline Harrah's Tahoe??
-Look -- I gotta be clear with you. Tony Clifton is NOT Andy Kaufman.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know! Wink wink! Nudge nudge!
-No, I'm serious. If you book Tony, do NOT EXPECT TO GET ANDY.
-Gene, you misunderstood!! You're not getting BOTH of them! It's physically impossible!
-Why's that? You said over and over and over, Tony Clifton is not Andy Kaufman --
-Yeah, I KNOW what I said! But -- trust me, it's not gonna happen!
-"Burlesque"?
-We had a deal!!
-I don't know what yer talkin' about. You musta talked to someone else --
-Yeah!! I talked to Andy Kaufman!
-Get off my stage! You're fired!
-Uh, yeah. Is this GEORGE SHAPIRO?
-Er, yes. Speaking.
-Can I help you with something?
-Yeah! You stay away from that Andy Kaufman, if you know what's good for you!
-Who is this? TONY CLIFTON You -- you know damn straight who it is. Tony Clifton! A name to respect. A name to fear. Beer. Gear. Deer. Ear.
-Look... I don't know what your problem is...
-That was a really hot house!
-So your name's not Gorsky.
-I'm worried about Andy. His stress level is affecting his work.
-Isn't Tony Clifton going on Taxi soon? Maybe that'll chill him out.
-So you've got this big elaborate joke, which is really only funny to two people in the universe. You... and you.
-Sure! But WE think it's kickass! Now I get to be Tony. I get to dump the glass of water on someone else's head!
-Yeah, he's just laying low, waitin' for his comeback. God, listen to this! "It was morally wrong to take advantage of such an unstable individual..."
-Why...? Andy, why...?
-Hey, that's good! We can make that play. And we'll really drag it out. You get better, you get worse... you die...
-If I find out you're behind this, I'll kill you.
-It's a perfect Kaufman audience.
-Is he in his room?
-I saw Michael!
-Where?
-Hmph! They sure didn't give Andy much to do.
-What's in Memphis?
-Why is he saying these things?!
-JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
-Sure...
-What's your name?
-Bob.
-"Bob"? BOB! Bob bob bob. Bob what?
-Bob Gorsky.
-"Gorsky"? What is that, Polish?
-Are you tryin' to do some of that Polack humor? Well if that's so, you can just get the hell out of this restaurant!
-It's my name.
-A -- a tourist.
-Then the informant is real.
-Does that surprise you? It was inevitable.
-He'll be contacting us again.
-Expect it. Did you get anything from the room?
-We'll need a search running.
-They are dead. In either case --
-You don't know.
-The sewers. Of course.
-Hurry!
-The great Morpheus. We meet at last.
-And you are?
-Smith. I am Agent Smith.
-Lieutenant?
-Oh shit.
-Lieutenant, you were given specific orders --
-I'm just doing my job. You gimme that Juris-my-dick-tion and you can cram it up your ass.
-I sent two units. They're bringing her down now.
-He's gonna make it.
-Weird.
-What?
-That's the third white van I've seen.
-What?!
-Who is it?
-You're two hours late.
-You got the money?
-Hallelujah! You are my savior, man! My own personal Jesus Christ!
-If you get caught using that --
-I know, I know. This never happened. You don't exist.
-Something wrong, man? You look a little whiter than usual.
-You ever have the feeling that you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?
-You weren't supposed to relieve me.
-Don't be ridiculous.
-We're going to kill him. Do you understand that? He's going to die just like the others.
-Do you?
-I... it doesn't matter what I believe.
-You don't, do you?
-If you have something to say, I suggest you say it to Morpheus.
-Did you hear that?
-Are you sure this line is clean?
-There's something about him, isn't there?
-Don't tell me you're a believer now?
-I just keep wondering if Morpheus is so sure, why doesn't he take him to the Oracle? She would know.
-Hello, Trinity.
-Cypher? Where's Tank?
-He had an accident.
-You are a beautiful woman. Too bad things had to work out like this.
-I'm tired, Trinity. I'm tired of this war, I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of this ship, of being cold, of eating the same fucking goop every day. But most of all, I'm tired of this jagoff and all of his bullshit.
-My God. Morpheus. You gave them Morpheus.
-Yes. You see, the truth is, Trinity, that we humans have a place in the future. But it's not here. It's in the Matrix.
-The Matrix isn't real!
-But you're out, Cypher. You can't go back.
-Goddamn you, Cypher!
-... yes.
-I don't believe it! I don't believe it!
-Whoa! Shit, Neo, you scared the Bejeezus out of me.
-Sorry.
-No, it's all right.
-What are you doing?
-Is that...?
-Do you always look at it encoded?
-Why you're here?
-... Yeah.
-I'm going to let you in on a little secret here. Now don't tell him I told you this, but this ain't the first time Morpheus thought he found the One.
-Really?
-You bet your ass. It keeps him going. Maybe it keeps all of us going.
-How many were there?
-Five. Since I've been here.
-What happened to them?
-Dead. All dead.
-How?
-Thanks... for the drink.
-Operator.
-I need an exit! Fast!
-There was an accident. A fucking car accident. All of a sudden. Boom. Jesus, someone's going to make a believer out of me.
-I got you.
-Just get me outta here.
-I know. They cut the hardline. This line is not a viable exit.
-Are they any agent?
-Yes.
-Goddamnit!
-All right --
-I got a fibrillation!
-We found him, Trinity. We finally found him.
-Give me your phone.
-They'll be able to track it.
-What is he doing?
-How long?
-You can't use that until Neo is out!
-Hello?
-Morpheus...
-I've been looking for you, Neo. I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you, but unfortunately, we have run out of time. They're coming for you, Neo. And I'm not sure what they're going to do.
-Who's coming for me?
-Stand up and see for yourself.
-Right now?
-Holy fucking shit!
-What the fuck do they want with me?!
-I'm not sure, but if you don't want to find out, you better get out of there.
-How?!
-The cubicle across from you is empty.
-But what if...?
-Good. Now there is a window. Open it.
-No! It's too far away.
-No way, no way, this is crazy.
-This line is tapped so I must be brief.
-The agents --
-They got to you first, but they've underestimated how important you are. If they knew what I know, you would probably be dead.
-What do you know?
-Do you still want to meet?
-... Yes.
-Welcome, Neo. As you no doubt have guessed, I am Morpheus.
-It's an honor.
-I imagine, right now, you must be feeling a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole?
-You could say that.
-Ironically, this is not far from the truth. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Can you tell me, Neo, why are you here?
-You're Morpheus, you're a legend. Most hackers would die to meet you.
-Yes. Thank you. But I think we both know there's more to it than that. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
-No.
-Why not?
-Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.
-Let me tell you why you are here. You have come because you know something. What you know you can't explain but you feel it. You've felt it your whole life, felt that something is wrong with the world. You don't know what, but it's there like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that brought you to me.
-The Matrix?
-The Matrix is everywhere, it's all around us, here even in this room. You can see it out your window or on your television. You feel it when you go to work, or go to church or pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
-What truth?
-The pill you took is part of a trace program. It's designed to disrupt your input/output carrier signal so we can pinpoint your location.
-Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real?
-This can't be...
-... am I dead?
-What are you doing?
-Why do my eyes hurt?
-Morpheus, what's happened to me? What is this place?
-More important than what is when?
-When?
-Right now, we're inside a computer program?
-This isn't real?
-We have only bits and pieces of information. What we know for certain is that, at some point in the early Twenty-first Century, all of mankind was united in celebration. Through the blinding inebriation of hubris, we marveled at our magnificence as we gave birth to A.I.
-A.I.? You mean artificial intelligence?
-No! I don't believe it! It's not possible!
-Get some rest. You're going to need it.
-For what?
-This is incredible. I know kung fu.
-How did I beat you?
-You -- you're too fast.
-I know what you're trying to do --
-Do you know why you didn't make it?
-I thought it wasn't real.
-If you are killed in the Matrix, you die here?
-This is another Matrix simulation. A training program to help you get your sea legs and teach you one very important lesson.
-Do you understand, Neo?
-I think I do.
-No you don't. Did you see the woman in the red dress?
-Yeah.
-Every attempt to fight them has ended in failure. Only a handful of men and women have ever crossed an agent and lived because they are everyone and they are no one. Unkillable. But now I believe that is going to change.
-How?
-What? Are you trying to tell me that I can dodge bullets?
-Set down in there.
-So is this the same oracle that made the, uh, prophecy?
-Yes. She's very old. She's been with us since the beginning.
-The beginning?
-Of the Resistance.
-And she knows what? Everything?
-She would say she knows enough.
-How does she know?
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-She is a true psychic. She sees beyond the relativity of time. For her there is no past, present or future. There is only what is.
-And she's never wrong.
-Don't think of it in terms of right and wrong. She is a guide, Neo. She can help you find the path.
-She helped you?
-Yes.
-What did she tell you?
-Morpheus, I don't think this is a good idea.
-Why?
-I told you I don't believe in this stuff. No matter what she says I'm not going to believe it, so what's the point?
-What do you believe in?
-What do I believe it? Are you kidding me? What do you think? I'm still trying to deal with the fact that everything I believed was real, wasn't. The whole world, my entire life was a lie. I don't know anything anymore, Morpheus.
-That's why we're here.
-Why? So I can hear some old lady tell me, what? That I'm this guy that everybody's been waiting for? The one that's supposed to save the world? Come on. How do I respond to that? I can't. It's ridiculous. I mean who am I? I'm nobody, I'm just a guy. What did I do, Morpheus? Why me?
-Faith is beyond the reach of whys and why nots. These things are not a matter of cause and effect, Neo. I do not believe things with my mind. I believe them with my heart. In my gut.
-And you still believe I'm the One?
-Yes I do.
-Did you believe in them too?
-Listen to me, Neo. I know why you're afraid to go through that door. You can't get free of thinking that I could be wrong. You must believe me. There is a greatness inside of you, Neo. A greatness that is going to lift you to unimaginable heights and that in time will change the world.
-Morpheus, I don't know --
-No. No! Morpheus! Don't!
-Morpheus, the Oracle... she told me --
-How is he?
-Got it.
-Now left and that's it in front of you.
-Tank.
-Goddamn! It's good to hear your voice, sir!
-We need an exit.
-Got one ready, sir. Subway. State and Balbo.
-Tank, charge the E.M.P.
-I'm going to make the call.
-How...?!
-Hello?
-I know. You're Neo. Be right with you.
-You're the Oracle?
-Bingo. Not quite what you were expecting, right? I got to say I love seeing you non-believers. Always a pip. Almost done. Smell good, don't they?
-Yeah.
-I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase.
-That vase.
-I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it.
-You're cuter than I thought. I see why she likes you.
-Who?
-So? What do you think? You think you're the One?
-Okay, now I'm supposed to say, 'Hmmm, that's interesting but...' Then you say --
-But what?
-But you already know what I'm going to tell you.
-I'm not the One.
-Sorry, kid. You got the gift but looks like you're waiting for something.
-What?
-What's funny?
-Morpheus. He almost had me convinced.
-I know. Poor Morpheus. Without him we are lost. We will never find the One.
-Morpheus believes in you, Neo and no one, not you or even me can convince him otherwise. He believes it so blindly that he's going to sacrifice his life to save yours.
-What?
-Hello, Neo.
-How do you know that name?
-I know a lot about you. I've been wanting to meet you for some time.
-Who are you?
-My name is Trinity.
-Trinity? The Trinity? The Trinity that cracked the I.R.S. Kansas City D-Base?
-That was a long time ago.
-Gee-zus.
-What?
-I just thought... you were a guy.
-Do you want to go somewhere and talk?
-How did you do that?
-Right now, all I can tell you, is that you are in danger. I brought you here to warn you.
-Of what?
-They're watching you, Neo.
-Who is?
-It's the question that brought you here. You know the question just as I did. It is a hacker's question.
-What is the Matrix?
-What the hell is this?!
-It's necessary, Neo. For our protection.
-From what?
-Neo, please, you have to trust me.
-Why?
-And I know that's not where you want to be.
-What is this thing?
-Uh-oh...
-Get this thing out of me!
-E.M.P. An electromagnetic pulse.
-God...
-What?
-What does that mean?
-That the Matrix cannot tell you who you are.
-But an Oracle can.
-That's different.
-Is it?
-Are you worried?
-Should I be?
-Did you go to her?
-Yes.
-What did she tell you?
-Are you all right?
-What did you just say?
-Nothing. Just had a little deja vu.
-What happened? What did you see?
-A black cat went past us and then I saw another that looked just like it.
-How much like it? Was it the same cat?
-What is it?
-Go!
-We can't leave him!
-Is Morpheus alive?
-What happened?
-Goddamnit! Goddamnit!
-That I would have to make a choice...
-What are you doing?
-I'm going in after him.
-You can't!
-I have to.
-Morpheus sacrificed himself so we could get you out! There's no way you're going back in!
-Morpheus did what he did because he believed that I'm something I'm not.
-What?
-No, you... have to be.
-I'm sorry, I'm not. I'm just another guy. Morpheus is the one that matters.
-No, Neo. That's not true. It can't be true.
-Why?
-What?
-What are you doing?
-I'm coming with you.
-No, you're not.
-No one has ever done anything like this.
-Neo, how did you do that?
-Do what?
-You moved like they moved. I've never seen anyone move that fast.
-Are you all right?
-Can you fly that thing.
-Morning. Did you sleep?
-No.
-You don't have...
-Any holes? Nope. Me and my brother Dozer, we are 100 percent pure, old- fashioned, home-grown human. Born free. Right here in the real world. Genuine child of Zion.
-Zion?
-If this war ended tomorrow, Zion is where the party would be.
-It's a city?
-The last human city. The only place we got left.
-Where is it?
-Holy shit!
-Hey, Mikey, he likes it! Ready for more?
-See who?
-What are they doing to him?
-They're hacking his mind.
-How?
-They inject virus-like serums to attack the neuro-systems. It's like cracking a computer. All it takes is time.
-How much time?
-When it does, Morpheus will tell them anything they want to know.
-What do they want?
-Goddamnit! I don't believe this is happening!
-Neo, this has to be done!
-Does it? I don't know. This can't be just coincidence. It can't be! Can it?
-What are you talking about?
-Neo, this is loco. They've got Morpheus in a military-controlled building. Even if you somehow got inside, those are agents holding him. Three of them! I want Morpheus back, too, but what you are talking about is suicide.
-I know that's what it looks like, but it's not. I can't logically explain to you why it's not. Morpheus believed something and he was ready to give his life for what he believed. I understand that now. That's why I have to go.
-Why?
-Okay. Store's open. What do you need? Besides a miracle...
-Operator.
-Which way? Which way?
-It's locked.
-Operator.
-Yes. They're moving him. I don't know where yet.
-We need an exit!
-You're not far from Cypher.
-Cypher, I thought --
-So did we. I sent him to Franklin and Erie.
-Tank, you're hurt.
-I'll be all right.
-There is. We have to pull the plug.
-You're going to kill him? Kill Morpheus?!
-Operator.
-Neo!
-What the hell just happened?
-An Agent! You have to send me back!
-What just happened?
-They've burned through the outer shields.
-Isn't this Jack Groppi's place?
-Yeah. But he ain't here now.
-Know where he is?
-No, really, I liked it...thought it was great.
-What are your plans?
-Well, we're here for about two weeks, then whatever else comes along... we're still working on our album and...
-Great...great...listen, I'm very interested in you guys because I'll be opening a new club myself soon... uptown...and maybe we can work something out...
-Sounds good.
-It's obvious that the girl doesn't want to accompany you, isn't it?
-Look fella...this is private...
-Whether she wants to or not...she's not going.
-We went down to Chinatown but they don't have any.
-Well, I don't know if we want to buy all $40 worth...
-No.
-That means it's good.
-No, all we got is $40.
-Riverdale.
-Sssh! Quiet. Y'know that's illegal.
-Well the guy over there said...
-Well, we got $40, and we wanna buy...
-Well, we want good stuff.
-Yeah.
-And cherry bombs...ash cans...and rockets?
-Yeah.
-Ok, you guys get out, and wait here for me.
-Why?
-I gotta get the stuff.
-Can't we come with you?
-Hey hold it! Gimmie the cash.
-Uh...can we give you a check?
-Keep quiet about this. I don't have any license for him yet. I've only had him a couple of days. Nobody can feed him except me. I'm the only one he trusts. Watch.
-Really wanted to get a little tiger Charlie, y'know...a little William Blake and all that...
-See what I mean? A question please...'Is this what you call living?'
-And I wouldn't call it TONY'S PLACE or CHARLIE'S PLACE... I'd call it something like SEASON OF THE WITCH... get it?
-You are with out a doubt the biggest, most pretentious bullshit thrower I know. Like to see what kind of business you'd do.
-No.
-May God be with you.
-'And with your spirit.'
-'Art thou the King of the Jews'?
-'My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world my followers would have fought that I might not be delivered to the Jews. But, as it is my kingdom is not from here.'
-'Thou art then a king?'
-Prophesy to us, oh Christ! Who is it that struck thee?
-Who's the girl?
-Jewish...
-Look at her.
-She don't look Jewish.
-Get out of here before this really goes up.
-Hide the gun. Throw it away. Anything. Listen, I gotta borrow your car...I think we should take a ride...away from here for the night...you know what I mean?
-Where to?
-Kennedy.
-I know, I know, stupid. I mean where you goin'?
-It's an open ticket. I can go anywhere up to $350.
-So?
-So I'll send you a postcard from wherever. If I get there.
-Nervous?
-Yeah.
-You flew before?
-Hey, come on...
-Take it easy. I only asked because maybe I could, you know, let you have a little something.
-Yeah, well thanks, but I got enough to hold me. My mother can send me some. I don't know.
-How about Teresa? I could talk...
-Listen, I appreciate it, but I'll handle it myself. I'll write.
-And say what?
-Listen, try a place with some sun. Swimming pools. Palm trees. Girls in little French bathing suits.
-Panther...
-Panther! Same thing...
-Hey...no more good times like before. Until you come back.
-Sure. And you're gonna take the vows next Tuesday, right.
-Waddaya think?
-Next time, bet with your own kind.
-The number was 235 - I bet it combination.
-It'll be OK - I know those guys. They won't stiff you.
-You got some mouth!
-Drinks for everybody Tony...
-What happened to you Flash?
-Charlie, I swear on my mother, you're not going to believe this.
-I know but let's hear it anyway.
-It's the truth, I swear.
-Nah.
-Yes, you're gettin' it all over my tie.
-I don't think I should go home looking like this. You think I could stay at your place tonight? Your mother's not there is she?
-You'd better make a move kid. He thinks you're trying to screw him.
-Wouldn't bother me.
-Yeah, big man...get yourself in more trouble. You make a fool out of him, you're doing the same to me. I signed for you don't forget.
-You couldn't handle shit. You just better come through with some kind of payment on Tuesday...anything. Understand? Hold onto your pay- check this week.
-There won't be any this week.
-What do you mean?
-Didn't show up.
-You sick or what? You forget what we had to do to get you on the trucks, stupid?
-I don't like loading crates.
-You're not supposed to like it. What gets me is your attitude. Listen... tomorrow you show up.
-What about your attitude...Where's your job...eh? You talk and talk and I go to work...what do you do?
-I'll tell you what I don't do... I don't owe anybody 2,000 clams plus interest, stupid. Show up or I break both your arms, we understand each other?
-Ok, ok...take it easy. I'll show. Tuesday I'll give Michael something. I promise.
-Don't promise...just deliver.
-I won't wait until Tuesday. I'll break your arms right now.
-Hey...you got nothing here.
-I could have told you that.
-Don't come any closer!!!
-Hey...don't do that...I'm only scaring them.
-Let's get out of here.
-I swear to God Charlie...my arm still hurts from the car accident...that's why I didn't go to work. I swear it.
-That's not going to help.
-I'm going to work this week...I mean it.
-It's impossible for you to catch up on the loan now...the interest is going up...$3,000...do you realize that, flash?
-I'm sorry Charlie...I didn't mean it.
-Big deal...in the meantime, it's done...I'll still try to help you out...You know that...but you gotta show some effort...some respect... understand?
-Charlie, you know the best way to take care of this whole mess.
-How?
-If you had a little talk with your uncle...if anybody can do it, he can.
-I don't get involved with anything, you understand that? Nothing! I'm clean as far as you know...right?
-Yeah, take it easy. Will you relax.
-That's what I get for getting involved. Look, on pay-day at least show up at Tony's Place to meet him, ok? This way he doesn't think that you're trying to screw him. If you show good faith and save his face maybe we can talk and he'll take off the interest or make different payment arrangements or something... understand? I'm not asking I'm telling
-Keep your mouth shut.
-Shut up!
-Your cousin here was getting sick, worrying about you. We've been in here calling...
-Well kids...have the bans been announced yet?
-Don't be smart.
-Johnny, I swear to God, if you open your mouth about any of this...
-You threaten me with my uncle? After what I'm doing for you?
-Take it. I'm doing it for you, stupid!
-Oh, cut it out, will ya?
-Charlie, twenty-eight bucks is nothing. The only way to do it is through your uncle...think about it will you?
-NO!!! What do you think I am, crazy???
-No, I just want to help myself, that's all.
-Don't you move!!!
-Back so soon.
-Hello, Michael. I've got something for you...not much...but...
-I think we should see your uncle.
-No.
-This can't be settled any other way now...I'll take full blame.
-What are you going to do? Hide me?
-Hey...you're here. They told me you're here...and you're here. How are you?
-Don't ask...do you have any idea what I've been doing all morning...eh?
-No.
-I was in the basement fixing the pipes. Would you believe that?
-What pipes?
-Look Charlie, you're a good boy. Will you just tell your uncle that I have nothing. There is nothing to give him. No envelopes with cash inside, no checks, nothing.
-That bad, huh?
-I can't make this week's payment and if this keeps up not next week's either.
-Not next week's either...listen...you tell that to Giovanni, not me.
-Listen, I should wrap up this place in a ribbon and hand it to him, you know that. I don't need this aggravation. I'm getting old.
-Your Uncle's a good man...I won't stick him. Either he gets the money or the place and right now he's getting the place. And tell me why should I care? I got a partner who's a bum, who doesn't help out...who disappears and leaves me with all the problems. I should go back to Florida...I don't need this.
-I don't understand, where's Groppi?
-I should know? His wife don't even know. Probably off with one of his little girls...I don't know. I tell you, if he don't give a damn, then I don't give a damn...Why should I kill myself?
-My uncle figured that this week was bad...but about next week...I dunno. Maybe you should speak to him yourself.
-Oh great...hey - Winstons?
-OK, ok...
-No...I'll be ok for a week.
-You seen Johnny Boy tonight?
-Nope...
-Isn't he supposed to be here tonight...I mean...
-Look...I don't know. What am I supposed to be, his keeper or something? Yeah, he's supposed to be here but who knows what goes on in his head. Right?
-...Charlie, don't you think you should be interested in Johnny's payments to me? I think you should be, you know that.
-Michael, nobody's out to screw you, I guarrantee that.
-I know that Charlie but look at my side. You undersigned the loans. You vouched for him. What happens if this kid don't pay me? I gotta collect from you? I don't want to do that. I made a deal with him not you, right?
-I don't know that. That's what I'm telling you.
-Michael, believe me. You know the kid's a little crazy sometimes. I vouched for him and he'll come through. I promise. I'll talk to him and straighten him out. Don't worry, OK?
-Michael, give us a lift.
-Hey, shut up.
-Disgraceful.
-Out!!!!
-C'mon Johnny.
-You getting out too?
-Oh Michael, look...
-Nevamind 'look'...This punk bastard...I call him at work...I say 'Johnny Boy there?'...He doesn't even show up for work anymore...
-Look...I've talked to him and I've talked to him...what more can I do...? Tonight at the party all three of us get together and we knock some sense into his head...ok?
-All right...but understand, I don't like being taken advantage of. I mean you're in there talking with your uncle and all...This is embarassing.
-What's a'matter?
-Nothin'. Just stiffed those kids. Don't want'em comin' back and findin' you...start asking you questions.
-How much?
-$20.
-Well, he isn't. Nice...real nice.
-You kiddin. The way it is now this isn't even interest for two hours.
-How much was the original loan again?
-$500. He borrowed that because he wanted to pay off his other loans... now, counting the interest...it's almost $3,000.
-$3,000. Shit! Can we hold it at $3,000?
-Charlie, this is business.
-'But I say to you, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who persecute...'
-I'll tell you who you can pray for... Next payday, I'll be at Tony's Place...Johnny better show or I find him and break his legs...and I mean it.
-He could at least show some respect and show his face, even if he doesn't have the money...
-'Amen I say to thee, thou wilt not come out from it until thou hast paid the last penny.'
-Be seeing you and Johnny tonight... here...right?
-Look, Michael, I'll get him here. What do you want me to do, kill him?
-Where's the rest?
-You're really crazy.
-Diane, how are you feeling?
-You know Diane...I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now...er... a... aside from all that joking around we do out there...when you're on...I... a...I really...think that you're a terrific performer...
-Fine.
-No, I'm serious...You're really good.
-I know.
-In a little while...I'm gonna have the opportunity of opening my own place...not here...much nicer than this...uptown...sort of nite-club and restaurant and everything.
-I was thinking maybe you'd do very nicely for the place.
-Stripper?
-No...no stripping...as the hostess.
-Hostess?
-Yeah, you know...you greet the people...see them to their tables... well...it'll be different though... Listen...why don't we get together and talk after your show tonight.
-Chinese food?
-Ok. Chinese. We'll meet on the corner of 6th Avenue and Waverly Place after you finish.
-Why not here...Ok nevermind...6th Avenue and Waverly.
-Uncle, how are you feeling?
-Fine. Did you have a good time last night?
-About that shooting last night...I was there and...
-You're right uncle. I must have gotten it confused with something else.
-About Oscar...I think he put on this act...about the restaurant being in bad shape and all that. He can't make the payments...I don't know what to make of it. He says Groppi's run off with a girl. I could help if you want.
-Take a drink!
-Hey, where you been?
-Oh...around...why?
-Who me? ...No, I don't know, not me...all I know is...
-I really couldn't believe it when you told me, you know that?
-Well, he was always a little crazy... he puts a gun in his mouth... ...like your friend...comme si chiama...Henning? Heming?
-Hemmingway. Killed himself. I was more upset about that than about Groppi, that's for sure.
-Oh yes, he's pretty good.
-...but it's the same thing, all the same...they're in there by having something on somebody...and when that doesn't work...they fight...Our life has honor...we have no show to put on because we do what we have to do. They know where to come when they need us. I realize this during the war...World War II...Vito Genovese... during WWII he worked with the government, taking care
-His whole family has problems...his cousin, the girl who lives next door to you...
-Teresa.
-No, she's got epilepsy.
-Her mother and father come to me and ask advice...she wants to leave...get her own apartment...worries them sick...what am I gonna tell them? Lock her up?
-What do they expect you to say?
-Who knows? It's not hard to figure out what she'll wind up like. When the respect for parents breaks down, that's bad...you know I'm "cumpari" with them...so I take an interest. You live next door, keep an eye open...but don't get involved.
-Well, maybe you missed something?
-Wasn't a book...was a short story.
-What was it?
-Nothing.
-No, c'mon...Y'know, I read.
-"Francis Macomber."
-Wha?
-"Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber."
-It's only a couple of courses...just for the draft.
-Why don't you take a look around the place if you want?
-I'd like to eat something before I go back to work.
-Ok, we'll go for lunch.
-Well...with the hotel that's ten... fifteen...
-Please take it.
-Well...
-Sure...it's not that...I mean...
-It's all right.
-Well, if things go the way I hope they'll go, this money business will take care of itself. God willing.
-An apartment uptown? Downtown?
-Maybe, who knows.
-Charlie...?
-See if you can get your hands on some pamphlets on laws or by laws...or proprietorship...you know...at your place.
-Anything specific?
-You know...like restaurants, night clubs...
-What is it now?
-Alright... Hey, did you hear any more about what happened last night?
-Did you?
-No.
-CHRIST, you should have seen it. Unbelievable. The kid would turn around and fire and he would just keep coming at him like Rasputin. That kid was scared. Not half as much as we were though.
-It doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't shoot him just because he insulted a racket guy...not unless it was personal.
-You missed the point. The kid's a climber...not very bright...but if you get down to his level to look at it his way; he kills a guy who insulted a big man - he gets a reputation. He thinks he's in good standing.
-It's still sick.
-C'mon Charlie...one more day. I'll call in sick for work.
-No...we can come back in a couple of weeks. Besides, if we're both gone for three days it wouldn't look right.
-Bore.
-A paper on that one too?
-Yeah...but don't worry about that now. The Hemmingway one is first.
-It was nothing. I'm almost finished.
-Take your time. I don't care.
-I know you don't. You've been very preoccupied lately.
-See that...know who lives there? The name George Earhardt mean anything to you?
-Sure...He lives there?
-That W.A.S.P. bastard.
-You're intolerable today.
-I'm going to take that apartment uptown.
-You know why...with my parents.
-Well you can't blame them in a way.
-I can take care of myself. You know that.
-...He must have heard the name from those T.V.'s in the hall that were blaring all the time. I remember GUEVARA was in town at the time. Must've heard it from there I guess...but that's funny, isn't it?
-Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.
-I'm sleepy.
-You've been running round too much. Bet you've been forgetting your medicine.
-The building on the corner. That one! He's been on the roof a half hour now!
-Teresa?...Yeah, Charlie. Listen, I'm looking for your cousin. Yeah, well today's Tuesday, payday. I haven't seen him all day...no...well, have you got any idea where he is? I know it's early yet but I'm just getting worried that's all...
-Charlie...I've got to see you. I want to talk...
-Honey, I can't talk now...I've gotta run, bye.
-Are you sure he didn't say anything to you about tonight?
-Lower the fuckin music--I can't hear nothin.
-The girls like it loud.
-What's the matter with this kid?
-Don't count it...it's all there.
-Count it.
-and a double for you and Charlie here. And put it on my tab, willya?
-Which one, the big tab or the little tab?
-Put it on the little tab so that it balances with the big one.
-Will you guys shut up with the witches and tigers. Tony, you gonna close the place, we get out of here, get something to eat, or what?
-Scumbag--
-Hey Johnny, where're you goin'?
-Sal!... fourteen street.
-Come on.
-This is some boat. Your father's?
-Hey... you got stereo.
-Ah...there's a funny lookin' cab behind us.
-I know...I know.
-What'sa matter...forget your registration?
-No...no. Nooo...it's just that I...I...uh... this ain't my car.
-Yeah, it's your father's.
-Well...no.
-You mean it's heisted.
-You could say that.
-How about me? I don't get a drink John?
-I know what you're going to say but don't say it. These drinks are all on the tab. I'm gonna see you this Tuesday payday, I promise. I give you my word.
-Just keep him quiet.
-Friends of yours Michael.
-Must have been all the liquor in him.
-How much?
-Not bad. $20. Here, $5.
-Can you spare it?
-Sure.
-Yeah.
-I'm Allison, you're 'honey'.
-Hi, everybody. Sorry to be late -- had to have dinner with my depart- ment chief --
-You ate?
-That's your name?
-...We're never all together two nights in a row. Maybe Christmas, Thanksgiving, that's it. What's going on?
-Nothing's going on. Maybe he doesn't want to be alone. He's go- ing to be sixty-five in a minute --
--- But he does seem very nice.
-Look who's talking.
-Dinner? Again?
-Did you speak to the Governor?
-He's coming.
-His wife?
-Daddy! Come on, a name.
-Just plain 'Joe'?
-That was 'Joe'.
-He's cute.
-Did he? That's more than we get to do.
-Daddy!
-Hi, Allison --
-Have you got a minute?
-Not much more. Big day in the big city. What's on your mind?
-Fireworks. Update -- we're con- structing the number '65' on the barge, archers from the State College at New Paltz will shoot flaming arrows at it, when it catches fire it will give us the effect of a Viking funeral with none of the morbidity... The Hudson River Authority says, for you, they'll make a special dispensation - of course there'll be an overtime
-Allison, I trust you. This is your thing.
-I hate parties --
-Calm down, Daddy, you'll see, you're going to love it.
-Isn't it enough to be on this earth sixty-five years without having to be reminded of it.
-What, honey?
-I lay awake nights in a cold sweat, I want this party to be like some- thing Mom would have made for you, I want it to be perfect --
-I know you do, darling.
-And you could care less --
-Oh, you couldn't be more wrong, sweetheart. I can' tell you how much I appreciate it and how I'm looking forward to it.
-Daddy. Does your friend have a name?
--- Black.
-Now, I'm getting interested. I want to know more ---
-Did you know twenty-six members of your rifle company are coming?
-Who?
-From the Korean War.
-Conflict, honey. Korean Conflict.
-Whatever it was, they'll be here. We sent out invitations to everyone, plane tickets included -- the RSVP's are amazing. A few of them we didn't hear from, and some of them are dead, of course --
-Of course.
-You know, we're going to give this party for you whether you like it or not.
-I like it. I like it. I'm sorry I don't seem more appreciative.
-What is this?
-Annie made them.
-Who's Annie?
-From La Rosette, only the greatest pastry chef in America. This is orange, from real Seville oranges. Lemon, on a mille-feuille crust, a little on the fanciful. And a while, nothing like a good old white cake, vanilla, with Angel food but some maroons shavings thrown in.
-I don't like cake.
-It's for the party, Dad --
-Oh, the goddam party --
-Hi, Daddy, what do you think?
-It's starting to grow on me. But what do the 'B' and 'P' mean?
-The fountain is the Caspian Sea and the Sea is serving up caviar. The 'B's for Beluga, the 'P' for Petrossian. Of course, they also stand for 'Bill' and for 'Parrish'.
-Do they, m'dear?
-I do it because I love you. Because everybody I loved you. Mommy -- wher- ever she is -- Susan, Quince, the people who work for you, everybody who's ever known you.
-Yeah? And what about my enemies?
-I haven't been the father to you that --
-That you've been to Susan?
-I wasn't going to say --
-You know, darling, this is going to be a wonderful party.
-Honey, please.
-Okay. All aboard - New York, New York!
-What about the Mayor?
-Please don't be negative, Drew, we have an acceptance list that would do The White House proud -- The Secretary-General of the UN, the Chairman of the FCC, nine Senators, I don't know how many Congressmen, and at least twelve of the Fortune '500'.
-Paillarde of veal.
-Yeah, they hit the calf over the head with a mallet and then Luisa hits it again in the kitchen.
-Honey --!
-Yeah, but --
-But what?
-...This shit's not bad.
--- The late harvest Riesling, Mr. Quince, a possibility for dessert.
-And that?
-What do you do that for?
-Well sir, it's 9:30 in the morning.
-I'm afraid this is a wine bar, Mr. Quince.
-Okay, give me a bottle of wine.
-Red or white?
-Bill, thanks for coming over... And how're you doing today, Drew? You've got a firecracker here, the kid's really set the table.
-Good, good. Glad to hear it.
-We've met before, y'know, that White House function, the President had you on his right and you know where I was?
-I'm sorry, I don't recall --
-Left field somewhere. Well, Bill, I want to come in from the outfield, bat cleanup like you have, learn the plush ropes --
-I thought you were buying my company.
-Yes, sir?
-Hello. I'm Joe Black. Nice to meet you.
-What are you eating.
-'Laura Scudder's Peanut Butter'. You like it?
-I would prefer some peanut butter.
-How would you like that, sir? On some kind of toast?
-Toast? No...just the butter.
-Hello, Beautiful.
--- Did I hear 'business'?
-...See you tomorrow night.
-Include me out. I've had enough of the conversations.
-You don't mean that. You wouldn't disappoint Daddy --
-Daddy'll do fine. Besides, he's got Joe. And so do you.
-Drew, you're out of line.
-That may be. But I don't like the fucker. I don't like the way he looks at you and talks to you. And vice versa.
-Sorry, but I like the way he looks and talks to me. And vice versa. Okay?
-Well... goodnight.
-Oh, you're the great Joe's attorney now? Are we going to go to court? Or are we going to go to bed? And I don't mean you and me. I mean you and him.
-That's it. It's over. Get out.
-And what would that be?
-Bill's birthday is the day after tomorrow. There is a provisory by- law in our charter. Per the discre- tion of the Board, Corporate off- icers can be retired at age sixty- five.
-You're taking this too far, Drew.
-Thank you for coming.
-We're not getting anywhere here. Why don't we take some of the best out of this thing, let's consider it coolly, let's take a week --
-Bontecou wants a speedier response than that.
-We have an arrangement now.
-What side of the industry did you say you were on?
-I didn't say.
-Incidentally, Joe, where're you staying?
-Here...
-Nice to see you. I didn't expect you, but certainly you can't get enough of a good thing.
-Thank you.
-The Board of Parrish Communications - is hereby called to order. Our sole order of business is an acceptance of John Bontecou's generous offer and --
-Anything else, Mr. Black? How about some water?
-Why yes, thank you.
-Hot or cold.
-Cold.
-Yes.
-Yes.
-What an odd pairing.
-It's just a saying, Mr. Black,
-Of whom?
-It doesn't matter.
-May I interrupting?
-No.
-Who are we talking about?
-But I know she's grateful for the care you're giving her.
-Is this a state secret or are we being excluded just for the fun of it?
-Perhaps you could remind me.
-No, I don't --
-So tell me, tell me, I'm peeing in my pants.
-I'm not stepping anywhere --
-I appreciate your gentlemanliness, Bill, but what we need to do here is drive the dagger home --
-Good morning, Drew. Thanks for coming out.
-Well, it's a big day. Wanted to line up a few ducks before kickoff. Any thoughts? Last minute refine- ments or variations?
-'Thoughts'? Not a one -- but I did hear a voice last night.
-A voice?
-In my sleep.
-What'd it say?
-'Yes'.
-'Yes' to the deal?
-I was saying to Quince we won't need --
-Did you just hear something?
-Why yes, Bill, I was saying to Quince --
-...Tomorrow we sign off -- photo opportunity, you and Big John, it'll lead network news. Okay so far?
-Sounds good.
-It's going to be great --
-Do you think I need a haircut?
-Our first annual report, must be thirty-five years ago now, I owned two stations, I wrote down a state- ment of purpose, that one day you would wake up to a Parrish radio station, read a Parrish paper at breakfast, catch our news on tele- vision during the day, and go to bed with one of our books or magazines and you would always
-I'm all excited --
-Me, too.
-I thought it was great, I thought you and Big John would be like a couple of bulls in a china shop -- Instead it was --
-Like a marriage made in heaven?
-So... Board convenes tomorrow, you'll recommend, we close and it's a deal, right?
-As close as a deal could be.
-Yeah, something he goes by --
-Sorry...um - you - you know it's gone right out of my head --
-'Joe...'
-Yes.
-Is there any more to it?
-What do you mean?
-Have we met?
-No --
-...Sounds like you're not leaving much room for discussion.
-Sorry. I know it looks like I'm reversing my field.
-You're not familiar with the phrase, "In this world, nothing is certain but Death and Taxes"?
-I am now.
-Shall we adjourn?
-No.
-'Just kidding'?
-Sit down, Drew.
-Before I do -- I was hoping we might be alone, Bill.
-Joe and I have no secrets from each other.
-Why?
-Joe, cut it out. And you too, Drew.
-I thought this was practically a done deal --
-I was a little abrupt with you this afternoon, Drew. Forgive me. I want you to know I value your advice.
-You're competitive soul, Drew. That's what makes you a great addi- tion to the money. Joe is just... around.
-For how long? And why?
-Mind if I throw up?
-I have to go, Bill -- it's been a helluva day. Need a few minutes to sort everything out.
-Okay, we'll see you tomorrow.
-What is there to say? They know what John Bontecou is -- and if they didn't, they know now.
-Yes, you made your feeling abun- dantly clear. Now they want to do the same with theirs.
-What are their feelings?
-If I read this Board right now, they want you to accept Bontecou's offer.
-What do you think the Board is going to say when I tell them that?
-I don't care.
-Whose?
-Yours.
-I'm feeling real uncomfortable right now because the guy who reports to me is threatening me.
-I think it's time you went home, Drew.
-Did you want to have a cup of coffee or something, Bill?
-That's it?
-Bontecou wants a quick response and --
-The answer is no, quick enough for you?
-Don't you want to hear the details?
-I'm not interested in the details. And I'm not interested in the big picture either. What I am inter- ersted in is how my Board got conven- ed behind my back, is entertaining a further proposal from a man whom it offends me to do business with, moreover has the audacity to present this to me like a prize fish, and I am expected
-So I am to understand from your re- sponse that you do not want to hear the details of Bontecou's offer?
-Yes, you are to understand that, and now may I ask you a question?
-Certainly, Bill.
-I've already introduced Mr. Black to you all.
-In English, please.
-I don't know where you get that idea -- the Board agreed --
-The Board didn't know you're a mole who burrowed inside so you could bury us all.
-I think I'd like to talk to my lawyer --
-And what do I get?
-You get not to go to jail.
-You're talking through your hat. You're offering a deal because you've got no proof.
-Hey, this is it, the hour approach- es, I'm getting all excited. So what do you think, is it -- -- just the 'Executive Committee' or could you guys use me?
-Quince, m'man, thanks for the offer, but it's all set for just me and Bill. More people might --
-You're overthinking it --
-Well, I guess he's found one.
-...I know you're down, but you know when you're down, Drew, there's no place to go but up.
-Thanks, Quince.
-Never mind Bontecou. I've got some other merger possibilities up my sleeve, and I'm putting them to see old man.
-Are you?
-We'll do it together. I'll clue you in. Timing's got to be right. The old man says it's up to Joe.
-'It's up to Joe'? Those were his words?
-Yeah.
-'It's up to Joe', huh?
-Yeah, that's what he said.
-I thought so, too. Joe's a neat guy.
-I'd like to come, too. See Susan strut her stuff.
-Well, I'm happy to tell you I've got good news. As I was telling Drew, I've been making a little hay while the Bontecou sun was shining -- two, possibly three new and boiling hot prospects for merger.
-How did Bill react to the leads you've developed?
-He was interested.
--- But he was concerned about the timing?
-The timing -- yes. He says it's up to Joe.
-'It's up to Joe'?
-What have you done? You've gotten the old man fired!
-I'm going to put a stop to this!
-Quince, you can't unscramble scrambled eggs.
-But I didn't mean to do it!
-I don't want to get rich this way -- I'm going to expose you.
-This is damn big of Bill, I also think it's smart.
-He had no choice. You're a formidable adversary.
-He said that?
-Well, you've got him by the short- hairs.
-Obeah.
-Obeah evil. I not evil.
-What you then?
-I from dat nex' place.
-You wait here'n to take us? Like you bus driver to dere?
-No, no. I on holiday.
-I nuttin' to do wi' dat.
-Make it go 'way.
-Doctor lady make it irey.
-Not dis pain. Dis pain tru an' tru. Make it go 'way.
-Can't, sistah.
-Not time yet.
-Don' be facety, woman.
-None facety, mistah. You come for me? Dat's good news.
-No, I come to see Doctor.
-Doctor? What could be wrong wit' you?
-Oh, you come to see Doctor Lady?
-Yes.
-My Doctor Lady?
-Yah.
-You loved back?
-I am.
-She knows you real self?
-She knows how she feel.
-Rass!
-Don' need you okayin'.
-Schoolboy tings is you head. Badness for you, badness for her, badness for me, lyin' here tumor, big as breadfruit, poison my inners an' waiting.
-Brung you flowers and all I gettin's facety back.
-Only flowers I wan' see's one's over my peaceful self restin' in the dutty.
-Good morning, Mr. Parrish.
-I've been buzzing you, Mr. Parrish. Are you all right?
-Sure.
-Lunch is 'in' today, have you given it any thought --_
-No. Nothing.
--- And call my family, I'd like them to come over for dinner tonight.
-Didn't the family get together last night --?
-Jennifer.
-Good morning, Mr. Parrish.
-Good morning, Jennifer.
-The Board is waiting.
-What?
-'Joe Black'. Won fifteen and lost two for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1952.
-Yes?
-You bet. I'm king of my Rotisserie League.
-How long you here, Joe?
-Black.
-Don't bother asking, we already tried.
-That's very gracious of you, Quince.
-Cirrhosis of the liver is the fifth leading killer of adult Western males.
-I didn't know that.
-You're an original, Joe. A little hard to figure, maybe...
-And you're a nice man, Quince.
-Thanks.
-C'mon, have a drink. You look like you need one bad as me.
-Do I? I'm a little confused.
-Confused, huh? About what?
-Love.
-'Love'? Oh, man, I've got troubles of my own.
-You love Allison, don't you?
-Oh yes, I do.
-How did you meet?
-I was a world-class loser and she was a happy, little rich girl -- and for some reason she took me in.
-Because there's nothing we don't know about each other and it's okay. I mean the deeper, darkest secrets -- they don't matter.
-'The deepest, darkest secrets --'?
-Yeah, it's like you know every inch of each other's souls -- and then you're free.
-What do you mean 'free'?
-Oh yes, you are one of my favorites.
-You think so? How do you know?
-Do you think I should wait to tell him 'till after the party?
-What are you doing here?
-I'm lost.
--- Can't seem to escape you today.
-'Big'?
-You appear at his side out-of-the- blue, stay at his house, eat dinner with his family, it's practically a first. You're in the red-hot center of big business and I thought you were a regular Joe.
-I am Joe.
-Not the one I met this morning, hit- ting on me in as nice a way as I've been hit on in a long time, but the moment you find out I'm my Dad's daughter, you act like a stranger.
-What are your intentions? To make little dreams in coffee shops, turn a woman's head, and I don't mind admitting it was turned, I liked it, but ten hours later I feel like a fool. I don't get it. You, my father, here in this house, the cof- fee shop, it's making me upset, and I don't like being upset. Who are you anyway?
-You act like you never had peanut butter before --
-I haven't.
--- What kind of childhood did you have?
-Do you love Drew?
-Come again?
-When you put your mouth to his, Susan, it seems a frequent thing.
-Drew is none of your damn business. Nor is where I put my mouth.
-I'm sorry. Do you live here?
-No, Joe, I'm swimming here. Then I'm going home.
-I guess what I'm trying to say is -- I'd like us to be friends.
-I've got plenty of friends.
-I don't have any.
-Yes --?
-I have a certain function to per- form, and that seems to take all of my time. Bu sometimes - uh - I speculate - uh - I haven't left room for - uh - anything else.
-Susan?
-Yes?
-Goodnight, Joe.
-Yes?
-Joe --
-Oh goodness, no.
-Then why are you here, Joe?
-I came to see you.
-I don't have any time to see you now. I'm doing grand rounds and then I'm examining back-to-back patients until dinner and then --
-Very well, I'll watch.
-Watch me do what?
-Whatever you do.
-That's impossible. I'm a doctor, I'm --
-And I'll be a visitor.
-Patients have visitors, not doctors.
-She's in a great deal of pain.
-Joe, I'm with Drew.
-I have to go, I'm sorry to say --
-I wanted to apologize, Susan --
-I thought you said 'Be sorry for nothing'.
-Well, now I am sorry. For intruding on you this afternoon.
-It wasn't an intrusion. And if it was, it turned out to be welcome.
-I appreciate you --
-Excuse me?
-I mean I appreciate that.
-Why do you love peanut butter so much?
-I don't know.
-Yes...
-It comforts you, doesn't it?
-I'm very concerned about the woman you attended to today.
-I am, too.
-Has her pain abated?
-We're doing what we can for her. But it doesn't look good.
-How long have you been standing there?
-Why?
-No, I'm not.
-Girlfriend?
-No.
-Gay?
-Where are you going?
-To bed.
-'To bed'?
-You first.
-Almost.
-I'm sorry about --
-I love your smell.
-Thank you.
--- Could you?
-Never tried, 'til now. Joe, may I kiss you?
-Yes?
-I don't know who you are.
-Well...I'm -- uh, Joe. And you're Susan. And I - uh - have this weak feeling in my knees --
-And is your heart beating strangely?
-You're here?
-I just thought I'd drop by, scrounge a little lunch, I was in the neigh- borhood --
-He's taking a nap.
-He must be tired -- this Bontecou thing --
-...No.
-Did you like making love to me?
-I loved it.
-More than you love peanut butter?
-Where are you going?
-Nowhere? I'm...here.
-For how long?
-I like you in a black tie.
-I love you in an evening gown.
-Yes. Your father and I, our time together has come to an end.
-Well -- I --
-I can tell you the when part. Tonight.
-It gets worse.
-No worse than it gets for me. I'm in love with a woman whom I don't want to leave.
-We know so little about each other --
-We know all that we need to know --
-But there's so much to tell you --
-Don't. That will come later.
-Will it?
-What will we do?
-'Love will find out the way'.
-'Love will find out the way'?
-It's a saying.
-I believe that, don't you?
-Did I say that?
-The 'coffee shop' --
-I - uh --
-I'm still here.
-Tell me you love me -- tell me you love me now --
-I love you now, I'll love you always --
-Susan --
--- Yes?
-That's it?
-Well, I don't know what else to say. It's a helluva party --
-You think so?
-No --
-Joe, that's the kitchen.
-...I'm sorry, I'm a little discon- certed, that stuff between you and Susan -- uh -- threw me.
-'Threw' you? Where?
-Shook me up. I mean that you knew her and everything --
-I didn't know her. The body I took knew her. The man she met in the coffee shop this morning. I - uh - took him.
-So there's nothing between you and Susan?
-No.
-I wish you had said something to me about staying here --
-What a good idea.
-Thank you. Would you like the man's name?
-If there is anything else, don't hesitate --
-I won't.
-How long have I got?
-When you go, I go.
-That's the best I can do. ...but minute-by-minute, I find myself lingering.
-...I just saw my doctor, he told me everything was fine.
-Your doctor? Did your doctor say anything about a tiny, undetectable hole in your aorta? Did he mention an irreparab- ly weak vein in the further reaches of your famous brain? Were there any prognostications about the possibil- ilites of a fatal collision on a golf cart or suffocating in an avalanche on a ski vacation in Gstaad?
-No --
-I hope you realize, Bill...in your office this morning, that was your time.
-Well, thank you for letting me know.
-Not at all.
-And - uh - I guess, 'goodnight'.
-Good morning.
-Good morning, Bill.
-How are you? How're you feeling?
-'Feeling'? I feel fine. How do you feel?
-Um -- well, I didn't sleep too well. This is crazy. This is the left- field thing of all time. What do I do? What do I tell my family?
-And what?
-And I won't tell anyone who you are.
-Sounds fair enough.
-It is a deal?
-A 'deal'?
-Bill --
-Yes?
-When you were shaving this morning, you weren't just shaving, right?
-What do you mean?
-You were hatching ideas, making plans, arriving at decisions, right?
-I guess so.
-So you understand the concept then. When you're busy here, your work, what your task is, is being executed elsewhere.
-Of course.
-Joe --?
-Yes, Bill.
-How about giving a guy a break?
-Make an exception?
-There's one to every rule.
--- I don't deserve this. I'm still young, this is not my time --
-That's what everybody says.
-I'm not everybody.
-I want to live.
-What's it like?
-What do you mean?
-What's it like where I'm going?
-Can you keep a secret?
-Yes.
-Perhaps you would like to wait in my office --?
-No.
-What I'm trying to say is this is a Board meeting and you are not a mem- ber of the Board.
-Would you like to sit down, Joe?
--- What's the deal here? Are you going to be breathing down my neck right 'til the very end?
-...I'd like to be alone for a while.
-Are you sad, Bill?
-Yes, I am. There's a research lib- rary on the fourth floor. Why don't you go down and read some magazines?
-You're not thinking of going some- where, are you, Bill?
-Joe, could I ask you to take a walk? Buy a tie or something. I know I'll be seeing you.
-Now I'd like to be alone.
-Jennifer, give Mr. Black a map of the city.
-Are you going to eat your lunch
-Excellent. What is it?
-Truly - uh - splendid.
-Glad you like it. My wife turned me onto cold lamb sandwiches. Joan -- that was my wife --
-Uh-huh.
-And more.
-Why didn't you stop me?
-I thought you'd heard a trillion times --
-Dinner? Absolutely.
-Why, at this juncture, are you letting yourself be so concerned by business matters?
-I don't want anybody buying up my life's work and turning it into something it wasn't meant to be. A man wants to leave something behind. And he wants it left behind the way he made it. And he wants it to be run the way he run it -- with a sense of honor, of dedication, of truth. Okay?
-Okay.
-And I don't need your goddamn permis- sion either! You! Drew! I don't need anyone to tell me how to run my life.
-Why did you go to the hospital?
-I don't know.
-You were just curious?
-I guess...
-About Susan?
-I wouldn't put it that way.
-What way would you put it?
-You tell me, Bill.
-How about you telling me? When I ask a simple question, I expect a straight answer. That's what I'm used to. Anybody who doesn't give it to me, I fire.
-Hello, Bill.
-Hello. Would you like to join me, Quince and Allison for a nightcap?
-Okay. Goodnight.
-I'm sorry, Bill --
-That's okay.
-What's okay?
-What 'okay' is, it's 'okay' it's over. We've got bigger fish to fry, don't we, Joe?
-'Fish'?
-I'm not hungry.
-I couldn't sleep.
-Yes, I saw you see me.
-Well, you're at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong woman.
-I'll be the judge of that.
-I'm her father!
-With all due respect, Bill, I'm not asking your permission.
-Well, you goddam well should. You walk into my life, give me the worst news a guy can get, have me dancing on the heads of pins with my busi- ness and with my family, and now you're spooning with my daughter.
-'Spooning'?
-Yes, and stop repeating everything I say, and turning it into a question. Spooning, fooling around, God knows what. You arrive on the scene -- why you picked me, I still don't under- stand --
-You're violating the laws of the universe.
-This universe?
-Any universe that exists or ever existed. You may be the pro, Joe. But I know who you are. And you're all fucked up.
-I don't like your tone, and I don't like your references.
-And I don't give a shit.
-May I remind you this is not just a dispute with a putative suitor, this is me. So watch it...Bill.
-Cut the 'Bill' crap out -- you sonofabitch.
-Uh --
-Yes?
--- I have the feeling that, all in all, what I made this voyage for -- has served its purpose.
-You are?
-Yeah.
-Thanks.
-What the hell do you care?
-I was just asking, Bill.
--- And I'm in love with your daughter.
-Say again?
-You're what?
-I think you heard me, Bill.
-I'm sorry, Bill --
-Susan is my daughter, she has a wonderful life ahead of her and you're going to deprive her of it and you're telling me you're sorry? Well, I'm sorry, apology not accepted.
-I love her, Bill. She is all that I ever wanted, and I've never wanted for anything because I've never wanted anything before, if you can understand.
-How perfect for you -- to take whatever you want because it pleases you. It's not love --
-Then what is it?
-Some aimless infatuation in which, for the moment, you feel like in- dulging. It's missing everything that matters.
-Which is what?
-Trust, responsibility, taking the weight, for your choices and feel- ings and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.
-So that's what love is?
-Multiply it by infinity and take it to the death of forever and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I am talking about.
-Those were my words, Bill.
-Susan wants to come. She says she's in love with me.
-With you?! Who is 'you'? Did you tell her who you are?
-No.
-I don't like what you're saying.
-I don't expect you to.
-Are you threatening me?
-Okay.
-Joe, don't do this --
-It's time to put this person where he belongs.
-I told you to shut up.
-Prepare yourself, Drew - I am --
-He is --
-I'll take it from here -- I am --
-The Treasury Department asked my cooperation in his undercover investigation of John Bontecou. They were convinced that Bontecou, on past deals, had structured his mergers and acquisitions in sus- picious and complicated ways so as to evade paying the taxes he is liable for. The IRS wanted to go after him, and this deal offered them the opportunity. I agreed to cooperate.
-And we're very grateful.
-Moreover, Agent Joe Black here -- of course that's not his real name -- smelled out your involvement, Drew. He developed evidence you were working both sides of the fence. Unfortunately, that's known as a conflict of interest --
-Undisclosed conflict of interest --
-An offense --
-Happy Birthday, Bill.
-Not exactly.
-I guess you have your reasons.
-Yes.
-Am I dreaming this? Are you a dream?
-I am not a dream.
-You are --?
-Yes.
-Death!
-That's me.
-You're not Death. You're just a kid in a jacket and a pair of pants.
-You want me to be your guide --?
-You fill the bill, Bill.
-I do? How long will you be staying?
-You should hope quite a while.
-This is crazy -- you're not going to eat dinner with us.
-Excuse me? Could I say something?
-Of course.
-It just occurred to me --
-Speak up, please.
-When I introduce you, if I say who you are, I don't think anyone will stay for dinner.
-'...I know, it's none of my business.'
-'Yes' what?
-'Yes' is the answer to your question.
-I didn't ask any question.
-I think you know --
-I don't!
-What are you talking about?
-Are you giving me orders?
-I'm sorry, I --
-Where are you? Are you there?
-It's enough now.
-Please. Talk to me --
-There's going to be plenty of time for that.
-What do you mean?!
-I think you know --
-Where are you?
-What is this, a joke, right? Some kind of elaborate practical joke? At my 40th reunion, we delivered a casket to the Class president's hotel room and --
-The great Bill Parrish at a loss for words? The man from whose lips fall 'rapture' and 'passion' and 'obses- sion'...all those admonitions about being 'deliberately happy', what there is no sense 'living your life without...', all the sparks and energy you give off, the rosy advice you dispense in round, pear-shaped tones --
-What the hell is this? Who are you?
-About what?
-I want to have a look around before I take you.
-'Take me'...? Where?
-It requires competence, wisdom, experience -- all those things they say about you in testimonials -- and you're the one.
-'The one' to do what?
-Show me around. Be my guide. And in return, you get...
-Get what?
-Time.
-What the hell are you talking about?
-Watch it!
-I'm sorry --
-Yes what?
-'Yes' is the answer to your ques- tion.
-What question?
-Bill. Come on. The question. The question you've been asking yourself with increased regularity, at odd moments, panting through the extra game of handball, when you ran for the plane in Delhi, when you sat up in bed last night and hit the floor in the office this morning. The question that is in the back of your throat, choking the blood to your
-The 'question' --
-Hi, Bill --
-Good morning, Quince.
-How're you doing--?
-I'm doing great. You ready?
-I am, this is it. B Day.
-How's that, Quince?
-...I read you all the way on the Bontecou thing, and I know where you're coming from. And I'm with you a hundred and one percent.
-Thank you, Quince.
-But I've got to tell you, if mergers are in the wild, I've got some great prospects I've developed. I want to talk to you about them next week.
-Next week?
-No, anything is possible. It's up to Joe.
-This is great, honey. The orange. Has it got a little vodka in it? Like that Finnish stuff, orange vodka -- Put your lips around this one, Bill. It's out of this world.
-But he does give a shit. Don't you, Bill?
-Yeah, I give a shit.
-This one.
-...what can I say after I say that I'm sorry? I zipped when I should've zagged, I opened my big mouth one too many times, everything got all twisted --
-Come in, Joe -- I want to thank you -- okay, Bill?
-Joe knew the whole story. I told him. It was his idea that I come clean. I mean I wanted to come clean but he gave me a pair of balls, you know what I mean?
-All in all, what Bill wants to do is build the golden bridge to Drew with no hard feelings.
-You think Drew will go for it?
-Quince, I've got confidence in you.
-Why don't we let it rest for the moment? Give it some air?
-...It's not over, 'til it's over.
-Please, Eddie, no 'Fat Lady Sings" shit.
-I still sense some doubt in this group, we could turn it around. You'll be up in the country?
-Yes, the big 'celebration' of my mandatory retirement birthday. You're an honored guest, Eddie.
-Eddie?
-Yeah - Bill - How are you? You okay?
-Fine, fine. Big doing up here. Why are you still down here?
-The Board's working through the weekend, tying up the loose ends on this damn thing. But I want to give it one more try, I'm still holding out some hope.
-Eddie, hold out all the hope you want but, I promise you, it's hope- less, it's over. Come on up, let's get drunk, if I had your shoulder to lean on I might actually enjoy this --
-No, I'm going to stay down here, keep my finger in the dike and maybe by Monday, the waters could recede.
-If you're trying to show me lay- down-in-front-of-the-bus loyalty, forget it.
-Sorry, Bill, have a drink, eat your cake, blow out the candles and make a wish. Talk to you Monday. Okay?
-We're all here, Bill --
-I appreciate this, Eddie, members of the Board, this will just take a minute of your time. As the custo- dians of the company, you may re- ceive information from what follows that is valuable to you -- -- or not. Either way, thanks.
-Well, thank you, that's great, but it's more than I bargained for. I just wanted to set the record straight.
-Good morning, Dad.
-Drew's aboard?
-Will you relax? I know it is a big deal day --
-How did you know?
-Drew told me.
-Does Drew tell you everything?
-I hope so.
-You like him, don't you?
-I don't like to interfere.
-Not my birthday again?
-You're only six-five once.
-I thought you were in a meeting--?
-...There's a start for a meeting.
-Do you love Drew?
-You mean like you loved Mom?
-Forget about me and Mom -- are you going to marry him?
-Don't get carried away.
-Uh oh --
-Susan, you're a hell of a woman. You've got a great career, you're beautiful --
-And I'm your daughter and no man will ever be good enough for me.
-Well, I wasn't going to say that --
-What were you going to say?
-Listen, I'm crazy about the guy -- He's smart, he's aggressive, he could carry Parrish Communications into the 21st century and me along with it.
-So what's wrong with that?
-That's for me. I'm talking about you. It's not so much what you say about Drew, it's what you don't say.
-You're not listening --
-Oh yes, I am. Not an ounce of excitement, not a whisper of a thrill, this relationship has all the passion of a pair of titmice.
-Don't get dirty, Dad --
-Well, it worries me. I want you to get swept away. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish.
-That's all?
-Be deliriously happy. Or at least leave yourself open to be.
-I know it's a cornball thing but love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your
-Bravo.
-Aw, you're tough.
-I'm sorry. But give it to me again. The short version.
-I won't. And when I tell Drew about it, he won't either.
-You won't tell him, and even if you did, he'd clock it and punch it into his laptop in order to pull out some key phrases when he gives the Commencement Speech at Wharton.
-You're terrible.
-Thank God.
-Daddy, what's the matter?
-What is it, Daddy --?
-Are you okay?
-A-Okay. Got my gloves on, my ears pricked. I'm ready for action.
-Well, go get 'em, Pops.
-You know each other?
-We've met.
-What?!
-Uh - will that hold you, Joe?
-Funny, I don't get that feeling. Maybe it's because you found out I'm Bill Parrish's daughter.
-It'll come back, Daddy.
-That was wonderful.
-Yeah, it's good to get together.
-Do you mind if I raise a little caution flag?
-Raise away.
-What is the nature of your interest in Joe?
-I won't say you may be getting onto shaken ground --
-Then what will you say?
-I don't think this is the lightning you are looking for. Drew's a good man. I know I didn't seem to be completely in his corner before, but I've come to appreciate --
-Now we love Drew and Joe in verbo- ten? What's going on?
-Nothing.
-When you say 'nothing' that way, it's not nothing.
-Then what is it?
-Where's Joe?
-Where is he?
-Because I was sitting in a staff meeting, incredibly bored, my mind kept wandering and the only place it landed was -- Joe.
-I don't understand.
-This is crazy --
-Why? A man appears at your side, almost never leaves it, you clearly trust him, depend on him, I sense you value him deeply, why aren't those things good enough for me?
-You don't know anything about Joe --
-Susan, I don't think Joe is going to be with us long.
-Where's he going?
-I don't know, I can't say --
-C'mon! The guy's working with you. You always know chapter and verse about everyone who works --
-I love him.
-What a night.
-You were right about Joe, he is going somewhere --
-Are you relieved?
-But what?
-I want you to know how much I love you. That you've given a meaning to my life that I had no right to expect, and that no one can ever take from me.
-Daddy --
-I love you, Daddy --
-I'm still here. Would you like to dance with me, Susan?
-If you don't mind dancing with an old fogey like me.
-What was that?
-Good morning, I was talking kind of loud there, sorry.
-Not at all. It was fascinating.
-Oh yeah? What was 'fascinating' about it?
-You and 'Honey'?
-My kid sister. She just broke up with her boyfriend and she's thinking about dropping out of law school.
-I'm sorry --
-Nothing to be sorry about. That's the way with men and women, isn't it?
-What's the way?
-Nothing lasts.
-I agree --
-Why?
-I was just being agreeable, now I've got to explain why?
-I'm not trying to sharpshoot you, but that 'nothing lasts' stuff, that's what was the trouble with Honey's guy. He was fooling around and Honey caught him at it. One girlfriend wasn't enough for him.
-So you're a one-girl guy?
-How'd you know?
-Everybody's a doctor around here. This apartment house is all green pajamas and slippers. The guy I'm waiting for to vacate is a doctor. What kind of doctor?
-So if I needed a doctor, you could be it?
-I could be her.
-Yes, I could. I have an office in the hospital.
-Not at all.
-How 'bout another cup of coffee?
-I've got patients coming in --
-...It's kind of a pro bono job.
-'Pro bono'. That means doing good -- Going to be doing good all your life?
-I know what you're saying. Doesn't pay very well. Depends on the woman I marry. Maybe she'd like a bigger house, a better car, lotsa kids, college doesn't come cheap --
-You'd give up what you want for the woman you marry?
-You'll have a hard time finding a woman like that these days --
-I've got to go --
-Did I say something wrong?
-No, it was so right it scares me.
-I've been thinking... I don't want you to be my doctor. Because I don't want you to examine me.
-Why?
-Sure, I'll give you the name of a doctor. ...And I don't want to examine you.
-Why not?
-You said you liked me.
-No --
-...We know so little about each other.
-21.
-38.
-39.
-78.
-79.
-MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99 85.
-You read it off your fucking photo. You don't know me, you don't even know who you are.
-30.
-47.
-66.
-69.
-Well, what then?
-Slam it?
-Just loud enough to wake me up.
-That's it?
-Should I wear it?
-No. Just leave the stuff lying around as if it were yours. Like you just took it off or something.
-Hiya.
-I'm Mr. Shelby from 304.
-What can I do for you, Leonard?
-I'm sorry... um... ?
-Burt.
-You don't know?
-I think I may have. I'm not good on the phone.
-You said you like to look people in the eye when you talk to them. Don't you remember?
-That's the thing. I have this condition.
-Condition?
-I have no memory.
-Amnesia?
-My wife.
-What's it like?
-Like waking. Like you always just woke up. *
-How long have I been here?
-Couple days.
-So you're holding my calls?
-What makes you think he's my friend?
-Seen you together, that's all.
-I'm sorry, I think I'm checked in here, But I've misplaced my key.
-Shit. Wrong room.
-This isn't your room. You're in 304. I Fucked up.
-This isn't my room?
-No, let's go.
-This was your room. You're up in 304 now.
-When was I in here?
-Last week. Then I rented you another one On top of this.
-Why?
-Business is slow. I told my boss about You, about your condition. He told me to Try and rent you another room.
-Why didn't you clean it out? *
-So how many rooms am I checked into in this dump?
-Well, at least you're being honest about cheating me.
-Yeah, well you're not gonna remember, anyway.
-You don't have to be that honest, Burt.
-I'm sorry, I think I'm checked in here, but I've misplaced my key.
-Leonard, it's Burt from the front desk.
-I know you said you didn't want any calls...
-That's right I did, didn't I?
-Yeah, but there's a call for you from this guy. He's a cop.
-A cop?
-And he says you're gonna wanna hear what he's got to say. *
-What?
-Who did this to you?
-I haven't made a strong enough impression.
-I like your car.
-Thanks.
-Where'd you get it?
-Interested in buying one?
-I just want you to tell me how you came by that car.
-Jimmy?
-What the fuck are you doing here?
-Do you remember me?
-Yeah, I remember you.
-You Jimmy Grantz? *
-You're making a big fucking mistake. My associates are not people you want -
-Don't say anything else.
-I knew I couldn't trust that fuck -
-Why?
-I don't want blood on them.
-Wait! Did he tell you what I was bringing?
-Strip!
-You think you can bargain with me?!
-Take the money and walk away!
-You don't remember me.
-Sorry, I should have explained. You see, I have this condition -
-Please call me Leonard. My wife called me Lenny.
-Yeah.
-So you have information for me?
-Is that what your little note says?
-Yes.
-You know him?
-Have I told you what this man did? *
-Yes.
-Then you shouldn't have to ask.
-But even if you get your revenge, you won't remember it. You won't even know it's happened.
-* So I'll take a picture, get a tattoo. * * The world doesn't disappear when you * close your eyes, does it? My actions * still have meaning, even if I can't * remember them. My wife deserves * vengeance, and it doesn't make any * difference whether I know about it. *
-Tell me about her again.
-Why?
-Because you like to remember her. I want to see you enjoy yourself.
-I wrote an address in there, too. Might be useful. It's this abandoned place outside of town. I guy I know used to use it for his bigger deals.
-Deals?
-It's isolated.
-Sounds perfect? What do I owe you?
-I wasn't helping you for money.
-They treating you alright?
-Don't remember.
-Sleep okay?
-Guess I don't have to worry about him anymore.
-Calm down. You're not into anything. It was my problem, you offered no help. It's got nothing to do with your investigation.
-That's the problem! How can I find John G. when I don't know what's going on?! How did you get me into this?!
-How do I know he did that to you?
-I came to you straight after he did it. I showed you what he'd done and asked for your help.
-So I just take your word?
-Yes.
-Something feels wrong. I think someone's fucking with me. Trying to get me to kill the wrong guy.
-Did you?
-What?
-Kill him.
-You decided to help me. Trust yourself. Trust your own judgment. You can question everything, you can never know anything for sure.
-There are things you know for sure.
-Such as?
-I know the feel of the world. I know how this wood will sound when I knock. I know how this glass will feel when I pick it up. Certainties. You think it's knowledge, but it's a kind of memory, a kind you take for granted. I can remember so much. I know the feel of the world, and I know her.
-Your wife?
-It's not easy to be calm when -
-His name was Jimmy.
-What happened?
-He went to meet somebody and didn't come back.
-What do the police think?
-Kill him.
-Who?
-I did exactly what you told me. I went to * Dodd and I said that I didn't have * Jimmy's money, or any drugs, that this Teddy must have taken everything.
-And what did he say?
-He didn't believe me. He said that if I don't get him the money tomorrow he's gonna kill me. Then he started hitting me.
-Where is he?
-What are you gonna do?
-I'll go see him.
-Give him some bruises of his own and tell him to look for a guy called Teddy.
-He'll kill you, Lenny.
-My wife used to call me Lenny.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, I hated it.
-Me? Why would he be interested in me?
-I told him about your car.
-Why would you do that?
-What's wrong?
-Somebody's come. Already.
-Who?
-Calls himself Dodd.
-What does he want?
-Wants to know what happened to Jimmy. And his money. He thinks I have it. He thinks I took it.
-Did you?
-No!
-You don't know, do you? You're blissfully ignorant, aren't you?
-What happened?
-Neither do I.
-Don't protect him.
-I'm not.
-Help me.
-How?
-Get rid of Dodd for me.
-What?
-Kill him. I'll pay you.
-What do you think I am?! I'm not gonna kill someone for money.
-What then? Love? What would you kill for? For your wife, right?
-Don't talk about my wife.
-Calm down.
-That's easy for you to say! You can't get scared, you don't remember how, you fucking idiot!
-Just take it easy, this isn't my fault.
-Yes.
-You pathetic piece of shit. I can say whatever the fuck I want and you won't have a clue, you fucking retard.
-Don't say another fucking word!
-* Depends on if he's here in town. Or if he's moved on. See, I've got all this - *
-They're not looking for him.
-How did they explain what you remembered? The gun and stuff?
-You can stay here for a couple of days if it'll help.
-On the house.
-My wife.
-Sweet.
-Dying.
-What?
-Beer, please.
-What do you want?
-A BEER, please.
-There's a dress code?
-What are you here for?
-I'm meeting someone called Natalie.
-Well, that's me.
-You tell me.
-You're the memory guy?
-How do you know about me?
-My boyfriend told me about you.
-Who's your boyfriend?
-Chronic alcoholism ~ one cause of short term memory loss.
-Are you Teddy?
-My name's Leonard. *
-Did Teddy send you?
-I don't know. I'm sorry.
-I can't make new memories. Everything * fades, nothing sticks. By the time we finish this conversation I won't remember how it started, and the next time I see you I won't know that I've ever met you before.
-Mr. Shelby, you know all about Sammy and you decided that he was faking -
-Mrs. Jankis, the company's position isn't that Sammy is "faking" anything, just that his condition can't be shown -
-I'm not interested in the company position, Mr. Shelby. I want to know your honest opinion about Sammy.
-We shouldn't even be talking this way while the case is still open to appeal.
-I'm not appealing the decision.
-Mrs. Jankis, what do you want from me?
-I believe that Sammy should be physically capable of making new memories.
-Thank you.
-How can you read that again?
-It's good.
-You've read it a hundred times.
-I enjoy it.
-Yeah, but the pleasure of a book is in wanting to know what happens next -
-Beg my forgiveness! Beg my wife's forgiveness before I blow your brains out!
-Leonard, you don't have a clue what's going on. You don't even know my name.
-I'm Leonard Shelby, I'm from San Francisco and I'm -
-That's who you were, you don't know who you are.
-Shut your mouth!
-Did you? I musta forgot. I'm Teddy. *
-This is your car.
-What the hell you want to go there for?
-You know it?
-Yeah, it's just this fucked-up building. * Why are we going there?
-Yup?
-Mr Gammell?
-Lenny, is that you?
-John Gammell?
-Lenny, it's Teddy. Look, stay there, okay? I'm gonna be right over.
-Unfinished business. What made you think I wasn't coming back?
-You said you were leaving town.
-Things change.
-So I see. It's good to see you. My name's Teddy.
-Guess I've told you about my condition.
-It's my condition. I never know if I've already eaten, so I always just eat small amounts.
-You don't have to remember to be hungry.
-It's weird, but if you don't eat for a while then your body stops being hungry. You get sort of shaky but you don't realize you haven't eaten. Have I told you about Sammy Jankis?
-Yeah, yeah. I heard enough about him. Tell me about John G. You still think he's here, right?
-Who?
-Why?
-Well, the other day you made it sound like you thought somebody might be trying to set you up. Get you to kill the wrong guy.
-Yeah, well I go on facts, not recommendations, okay?
-Lenny, you can't trust a man's life to your little notes and pictures.
-You really want to find this guy?
-He took away the woman I love and he took away my memory. He destroyed everything; my life and my ability to live.
-You're living.
-Discount Inn. Don't know what room; haven't got my key.
-Why are you here?
-You don't know him?
-I don't think so.
-Think so? You don't know? Didn't you write it down?
-I'm not gonna help you kill this guy, if that's what -
-Natalie? Natalie who?
-We've got to get him out of here.
-He's got to have a car, right? We just take him back to his car and tell him to get the fuck out of town before we kill him.
-We can't just walk him out tied up and bleeding.
-How'd ya get him in here in the first place?
-It must be his. I don't think they'd let someone like me carry a gun.
-We probably ought to take his car, you know, teach him a lesson.
-Shut it, Teddy.
-Easy for you to say, you've got the Jag.
-I'll ride with him. You follow.
-So was he scared?
-Fuck you. We shoulda taken his car.
-What's wrong with this one?
-So what are you gonna do now?
-I'm gonna ask Natalie what the fuck that was all about.
-Who the fuck are you?
-Teddy. Your buddy.
-Prove it.
-Unfinished business.
-Lenny, as a buddy, let me inform you. Your business here is very much finished. You're still here because of Natalie.
-Why's that?
-What do you mean "bad news"?
-She's gonna use you. To protect herself.
-From who?
-Guys who'll come after her. Guys who'll want to know what happened to her boyfriend. They'll want to make somebody pay. Maybe she'll try and make it you.
-Yeah, well maybe she'll make it you. Is that it? You worried she'll use me against you?
-She couldn't.
-She has no idea who I am.
-Why are you following me?
-Happy now?
-I won't be happy until you leave town.
-Why?
-How long do you think you can hang around here before people start asking questions?
-What sort of questions?
-The sort of questions you should be asking yourself.
-Like what?
-Like how'd you get this car? That suit?
-My wife's death. I used to work in Insurance, we were well covered.
-Yes, I do. I don't have amnesia. I remember everything about myself up until the incident. I'm Leonard Shelby, I'm from San Fran -
-I didn't sell -
-I know, you investigated. Maybe you need to apply some of your investigative skills to yourself.
-Yeah, well, thanks for the advice.
-How'd you know I was in here?
-Why?
-Why? Come on, Leonard, we talked about this. It's not safe f or you to be walking around like this.
-Envelopes? *
-He knows you're no good on the phone, so * he calls you up to bullshit you. * Sometimes you stop taking his calls, so * he slips something under your door to * frighten you into answering your phone * again. He's been pretending to help you. * Feeding you a line of crap about John G. * being some local drug dealer.
-How do you know this?
-'Cos he fucking told me. He thinks it's funny. He's laughing at you.
-How do you know him?
-You're not coming?
-What's wrong?
-He might have fallen down the stairs, I don't know, I don't know what's going on, I'm confused. I have this memory thing - do I know you?
-No. Don't worry, I'm a cop. Everything'll be okay. Is he still breathing?
-I don't know. See, I have this condition.
-This is a drug deal?!
-He knew about Sammy. Why would I tell him about Sammy? *
-You tell everyone about Sammy. Everyone who'll listen. "Remember Sammy Jankis, remember Sammy Jankis". Great story. Gets better every time you tell it. So you lie to yourself to be happy. Nothing wrong with that - we all do. Who cares if there's a few little things you'd rather not remember?
-I dunno... your wife surviving the assault... her not believing about your condition... the doubt tearing her up inside.., the insulin -
-That's Sammy, not me! I told you about Sammy -
-Like you've told yourself. Over and over. Conditioning yourself to believe. "learning through repetition" -
-Sammy let his wife kill herself! Sammy ended up in an institution - ! *
-Sammy was a con man. A faker.
-I never said he was faking! I never said that!
-I was wrong! That's the whole point! Sammy's wife came to me and -
-My wife wasn't diabetic.
-She wasn't diabetic. You think I don't * know my own wife? What the fuck is wrong * with you? *
-I guess I can only make you believe the things you want to be true, huh? Like ol' * Jimmy down there.
-What difference does it make whether he * was your guy or not? *
-It makes all the difference. *
-Why? You're never going to know. *
-Yes, I will.
-No, you won't.
-Somehow, I'll know!
-You won't remember!
-When it's done, I'll know! It'll be different!
-You know, when we found your guy and * killed him. That's right, the real John G. Over a * year ago. I helped you find him. He's * already dead. *
-Why do you keep lying to me? *
-So who are you saying he was? *
-You probably. *
-No. You took them out. *
-Why would I do that? *
-To set yourself a puzzle you won't ever solve. You know how many towns, how many * guys called James G? Or John G? Shit, Leonard, I'm a John G.
-Your name's Teddy.
-I should kill you. *
-It is now.
-Okay. We clean him up, untie him and * march him out with a gun in his back. *
-What cop?
-Bullshit. *
-What was it for? *
-* Thank you. *
-Gin and Tonic. Plymouth or Boodles.
-Lemon or lime?
-Lemon doesn't go in Gin and Tonics, darlin'. Where ya' from?
-Gottingen. That's in Sweden.
-No. I was in Namibia...
-Doing...?
-Yeah.
-What's your twenty?
-Quarter mile away. We see the lights...
-Turn around.
-We know these people...!
-About the Stevens family, I'm sorry. I know you were close to them.
-I was the kids' godfather.
-And...?
-"And" what?
-Sal Maguda.
-He any good?
-Oh, yeah...
-With Sonny. 110%.
-They'll kill Gina.
-She's sending a message. Meth Lab. Trailer park. Anything with interesting antenna arrays...?
-...eliminated one. SWAT's on the next two...
-...I didn't want you around the crime scene because it's crawling with federal law enforcement. We don't know who's straight up, who's not...
-He is fine. And we know the jokes. When it gets vengeful, things get messy. When they get messy the wrong people die... Everybody gets it.
-Okay. What'd you spot...?
-Yeah?
-José Yero changed-up the drop plan on us. He's grabbed Gina.
-Where's the new drop point...?
-They'll have surveillance on us. We'll know only at the last moment...
-What do you think?
-It's a rip and a hit.
-Get me Air Support... We'll be airborne and assault the ambush...
-Just came in. She's still alive.
-We're not certain...
-You said Nazi Low-riders...?
-Not anymore. This is a distribution network out of South Florida, moving poly-drug loads, crystal meth through coke, to Nashville, Atlanta, Memphis, Cleveland. And computer fraud, identity theft. It's like that.
-Tell them what you want.
-You need to consider a few issues.
-...you'd be operating outside territorial United States. Your badges do not count. You have no authorization to carry weapons. If you're busted, it could take a long time to get you re-patriated. And there's no backup... And you will share with them all your intel on Montoya...
-Sure.
-I mean <u>full</u> disclosure.
-I don't know.
-Yes you do...
-I got to talk to my ADO...
-So...?
-Meth precursors and the Dutch party favors are en route.
-All I want to know is the where and the when. Spare me mini moves, progress reports and bullshit.
-Okay. You got the "item"?
-I got the item.
-And our friend don't like the rest of the people bringin' the merch to you.
-How many?
-Two main players plus three.
-My end?
-25% discount on the load.
-Make it 40%.
-Make it 35.
-Put your guns on the table... If we wanted you dead, you would no longer be drawing breath in Miami. We wouldn't have brought you all the way here.
-I thought we had to meet the Man.
-You do.
-When?
-We want it back.
-Okay.
-What's "nothing"?
-There is one thing you can do for me in recognition of the death- defying risks we took to recover your product...
-What do you like to drink?
-How fast does that go?
-It goes very fast.
-So where's the best place for mojitas?
-Bodeguita del Medio. It's the <u>only</u> place for mojitas...
-Where's that?
-Off a little alley with cobblestones. Hemingway went there...
-The Keys?
-Havana.
-Havana? Cubans don't like us or my business...
-My cousin is the harbor master. You must not bring in drugs. You cannot be armed. If you're carrying, it has to go. Or stow it inside. No one will go near your boat...
-You do business in Cuba with your husband?
-Were you born in Havana?
-Angola. My mother was being a surgeon there. She volunteered. Mozambique and Mali, too... ...those days, in those days...she was part of Cuba's gift to the third world. She came from a bourgeois family with a house in Verdado...we still have the house. We will go there...
-Where's she now?
-Your father?
-How's he not your husband?
-Mojitas...?
-Later! Do you dance?
-Tell <u>me</u> everything.
-No.
-I insist.
-Blanca...a rubio like you. I see her in a dress...an old photograph from Lucinda somebody's wedding...everybody is with couples. Husbands and wives. They all pose. My mother is alone because my father had to go back to the fighting. ...she looks right into the camera. She is the most beautiful woman in the room. By herself. In a party dress. And she looked like
-Died in childbirth, having me...
-You know how improbable this is...?
-"Probable"...applies to an event that may be real. Doesn't apply here.
-...'cause we have no future...are of today and not tomorrow.
-That's right.
-...and therafore there is no consequence?
-Like...?
-Like "three thousand a ki?" That's nice. And I can supply the transportation into South Florida and the Gulf, more reliable and on-time than FedEx. But, three per ki was OK for openers.
-And why should continuing excellence cost more?
-Cost less. That's the point.
-Is it December?
-What do you mean?
-Did Christmas come early this year...?
-Better than that. We become partners. Only in this territory and only on loads we run. And you don't pay us three thousand a ki. You pay us zero. Why we get is thirty percent of the load. Product or cash. "And why," you're thinking, "would I be crazy enough to out in these gringos like that? Is he chipping? Crazy for my love?
-Good samba dancing...?
-Zero risk.
-'Cause you don't lose loads?
-'Cause we <u>guarantee</u> every load. Anywhere, for any reason, it comes up short, we make good. Your operations will, from now on, run risk-free.
-The range should be between fifteen and seventeen-point-five percent of the P.O.E....to even consider it.
-I need thirty. Calculate in, also, the cash you don't have to front...
-Available cash is not an issue for us...
-Twenty-eight-point-five.
-What if I pushed to twenty-one...?
-I would say you're... ...four percentage points away from a deal...
-Hola, chica.
-I forgot the napkins.
-And the chopsticks and fortune cookies?
-What's the best fortune you ever got?
-They're all the same. "Financial security is around the corner." "Your friends love you."
-Do you have assets somewhere else? Bank accounts?
-Why?
-...to fall back on. You know, a fail-safe. Insurance.
-Do I need it?
-Everybody needs it. Ask Prudential. Or Allstate.
-Something like that. The odds catch up with you. The odds are like gravity. You can't negotiate with them. So...at some point, you should cash out, take your money and run...
-Really?
-Sure. As far away and as fast as you can.
-When?
-Would you find me...?
-Of course.
-Where would I go?
-Zanzibar. The Comoros Islands. Somewhere in the Indian Ocean. There's twelve-hundred islands there...
-Is this the protective male talk?
-This is the talk of a man...if he were your husband...he would never put you at risk. He would never put you within a thousand miles of anything that could hurt you.
-And if I were in the Comoros, in the Indian Ocean, where would you be...?
-A few more moments, still in this business. Then I'd find you.
-...in the morning.
-Yero, by himself?
-If they attack you...
-What are you going to do with me? Are you taking me to jail? You think I will turn into your informant, is that it?
-No part of it wasn't real.
-I know. And now?
-José...
-Sonny Burnett...this is my partner, Rico.
-What...?
-You afraid of violence?
-Red light, green light, José?
-Client got delivery. But there were..."extras" in the back of the truck.
-"Extras" tried to relieve us of your weight... And by the by, you know of a player in Overtown who goes by the name of "Things Aquatic"?
-I do. We don't do business with him...
-He tried to..."do business"...with you. Around ten. His place. Be there.
-Yeah.
-How 'bout this? How'd Neptune know where to hit us? Huh? Whose Op sec's got a leak? Yours?
-What'd Neptune tell you?
-He didn't. Interrogation's not in our skill set. So c'mon, what suspicions have you master-minded off these associations?
-Packaging?
-Yeah?
-You got something to say, José, let's hear it.
-What friend?
-Proof of life. How do I know Mrs. Rico's alive?
-What's our deal?
-Backup in case the Russians get physical.
-How lucky's Miss Universe gotta be?
-And there's Dmitri...
-The honey trap. And there's the honey.
-What is it?
-Alonzo...
-Stevens?
-White gangs...? It doesn't track.
-Aryan brothers are not going to change-up suppliers. So...
-Track with me, here... They knew the "Russians" were undercover Feeb? They should have no-showed. But, no, these guys show anyway, and commit murder upon federal officers. And steal all your money... What does that say to you?
-So?
-And we didn't come down here to audition. Business auditions for us... ...and know who we are and know they want their load run by us <u>before</u> Nicholas calls.
-People gonna walk into this place and say, "Ola, hijo! That some crazy wallpaper. Whew...it wild! Is that a Jackson Pollack?"
-"No, viejo. That was José Yero, splattered all over his motherfucking wall."
-And specialize in very fast go-fast boats for coastal runs.
-The people on shore who handle a load we run are our people, not your people. No tweakers, dopers, first- timers we don't know. They didn't do time with us, they ain't doing crime with us.
-What <u>you</u> get <u>from</u> us is a date. A place. "In the parking lot of a Jack-in-the-Box in north Miami." At such-and-such time, an eighteen- wheeler will be there. Keys in the ignition. Ready to roll. You pick it up. And you drive it... ...away.
-Then it don't work.
-Anything?
-Where we meeting 'em...?
-What do we got?
-They watching us watching them watching us waiting for them? Or what?
-To the limit.
-You worried about the tree line, US Customs AWACS, or something else on your mind?
-Like...?
-Gina in the Miami pad. You gonna give me phony denials?
-No. You gonna give me phony reassurances?
-No.
-How much we looking for?
-Where the hell are you, man?
-Where'd you go?
-Hit a couple of jazz clubs. Fell back to her place.
-Where?
-Verdado.
-Verdado where?
-It's in the suburbs outside Havana.
-Havana, Cuba...?
-No. Havana, Louisiana. Don't we have a meet?
-...where you're makin' a move on the wife of Archangel de Jesus Montoya?
-No.
-You're not makin' a move on her...?
-We're makin' moves on each other.
-Yeah. CIA-level stuff...
-And what does that level of spending on first-class, private- sector infrastructure signify to you?
-Their loads are poly-drug. "E" from Holland, methamphetamine precursors from Jordan, Afghan "H." Mid-ocean transshipments. His real business is: he's a network.
-And we can illuminate part of it from the inside out.
-Hey, fuck him.
-Chill out Sonny.
-What is going on...?!
-As in...?
-There is "undercover." And there is "Which way is up?"
-You think I am in so deep I forgot?
-I am asking. You to me.
-Do you <u>believe</u>...I have forgotten I am a cop?
-If you see a few new faces, don't get jumpy...
-What's your take?
-What's the point? It's going down.
-Eleven to seven he blows it.
-Twenty on my man...
-Go ahead.
-Too fast. Too many moving parts.
-If we were for real, and knew our shit, we'd fade this one...
-Then you should.
-Hello?
-This is Agent James Fujima.
-Detective Crockett.
-What's your Miami PD badge number?
-4-4-7 Charlie 12-92.
-Okay. What's up?
-A C.I. we cut loose to your Joint Interagency Task Force. Name of Alonzo Stevens. Now, he's YOUR informant. Stevens, called us. I haven't spoken to him for six months. I do not know what case you have him on. I do not know what he is talking about. But whatever he is doing for you, it sounds like it is going bad. Right
-How do I discuss operations over an open line?
-Guy's involved in a "meet"...
-"Buy and walk"? "Buy and bust"? "Reverse undercover"? What?
-Meet and greet. "I flash you some of mine, you flash me some of yours?"
-And the deal goes down at another place at another time.
-That's right.
-OMGs, Mongols, Nazi Low-Riders, prison gangs?
-How?
-So what do you want?
-Get into business with this crew, identify them. Illuminate their network. If you're lucky, discover their source, how they penetrated us. We'll indict and take it from there...
-From whom...?
-A Colombian producer. Named Archangel de Jesus Montoya-Londono.
-Never heard of him.
-Who said, "go exploring"? We want this staying on track.
-Who's the "we"? There's you and there's us. And all we got from you was bad intel. "Low-level producer." Yeah, right...
-What are you talking about?
-Out of...?
-Control your men.
-This I gotta see... ...the "make up an excuse and stop" part.
-Have faith.
-"Hi, Gina. Hi, Sonny."
-You're so <u>not</u> the PD, if you got busted on a DUI, you're in serious trouble...you're bad men back to grammar school. San Quentin. Pelican Bay. Marine Corps. Statesville. Pelican Bay, where you guys hooked up. Now you're too smart and too fast to get jacked again...
-How will it stand up?
-Yeah...?
-Sonny...?
-Yeah.
-Where's Riccardo?
-On the phone.
-It's fucked up. I'm sorry...
-Alonzo? What are you talking about? Where are you...?
-They had me from the gate.
-I gave up nothing on you guys. Don't worry. I kept you and Rico out of it. Only the Feds. They're on their own...it's all their deal, anyway, so fuck 'em.
-Alonzo, what's goin' on?!
-Where are you?
-...look after her. Ask Rico to. Okay? Do that for me. I had to do it. They had me from the gate. Do that. Whatever you can do for them. Okay? Look what I did to them, Sonny...!
-Alonzo...!
-How'd they get onto you?
-Correct. Flash samples. Flash cash.
-Haitian, Dominican, Russian, Israeli?
-Oh, good...
-C'mon, man!
-Break your encryption? Hack your e- mail? Employee databases? Somebody on the inside?
-We don't know. And that's the point. Maybe there's a mole. Whatever, it's a disaster. And it's a Joint Interagency Task Force. I have DEA, ATF, U.S. Customs components in on it. So the penetration could be from any one agency. What we do know is I have to suspend operations right now from undercover work through interdictions 'cause I have to assume our
-As in, your ass is dead in the water.
-Reverse undercover? WE supply to them?
-Who are you talking to?
-So?
-Only African he ever "relocated" was a $2,000-an-hour Nigerian model for Gucci, and he got wounded when she took an NBA draft choice to the Super Bowl instead of him...
-What am I supposed to do after I get my nails and hair done...?
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-You sure?
-Yes. What's up?
-Nothing. Calling to say hi... What's up with you?
-Okay...see you soon.
-...and thanks for the flowers.
-What flowers?
-You mean with the flowers...?
-What's it say?
-Okay.
-...the lease, the phones, the cars...layers of false ident. Would take the FBI weeks. How long did it take them? Three hours? Four? This means, "We can reach out and touch somebody." Like Bad Teleflora.
-...even if they could run the identities you built to EPIC, all they'll find is more cover... Trust what you built. It's quality, girl. We're cool...
-...and we're looking at Nigerian crude...
-Precursor shipments from Ras Tanura and Ju'aymah?
-Transshipped to a Malaysian container ship.
-Not French registry?
-They've been targeted. And Pakistani registry is too vulnerable to search and seizure right now.
-Burnett? They want 22% of the value on loads they run into South Florida. It's the Juarez cartel model. They guarantee the loads. The upside is our risk goes to zero. That frees-up capital.
-And...?
-Why?
-I think José suspects anybody he doesn't intimidate. And people, who are good at what they do? They have egos, too...
-What would you do...?
-I run down the numbers. Nothing is very negotiable. Small loads? We pay three thousand a ki. We pay your fuel costs up front plus ten percent. The next ten percent on U.S. landfall.
-Define small.
-And as an investment in the future...
-Conveyance?
-That sonofabitch!
-You set this up!
-It's all bullshit. Jesus is out of communication in Fals de Iguazu. José knows that... Whatever he's going to do, he has to do it fast because he's acting on his own. And he will need a story.
-Meaning...?
-So lay it out, my brother...
-Equipment?
-And violence is extra. And expensive. So how much weight you looking to move?
-What do you care?
-Then what were we talking to you for?
-What do I care what you think about how he looks? You wanna fuck my partner or do business?
-This the load you lost a while back?
-I walk into Neptune's house...very nice. But I also see you... and our drugs that got ripped from Maguda.
-Transshipment point is here at 17:00 hours on the 23rd.
-Uh-uh. No predetermined places and times to meet. Give me their heading and radio codes and I will talk to them directly with the longs and lats and time which will be a last minute deal...
-Importation value? At twenty-two thousand a ki...
-What the hell did you do?
-I gotta, I gotta go...!
-Alonzo...
-What...?
-They said they wouldn't hurt them, wouldn't hurt them if...
-Beg pardon, ma'am. I'm brand spanking new to this town, come from Houston, Texas, and hoping to get a look at the Statue of Liberty...
-You're hoping to get a look at what?
-The Statue of Liberty.
-Don't know what line Morey's in, but myself now, fact is -- I'm a hustler.
-Hers'n zodda meg a livig.
-Beg pardon, ma'am?
-Said, a person's gotta make a living.
-You sure you heard what I said?
-You're such a doll. I hate money, don't you? God, it's been fun.
-You ain't coming to work?
-What you gonna do back there, East?
-Lotta rich women back there...
-Yeah?
-Men, they mostly faggots.
-Must be some mess back there.
-Well, ain't no use hanging around here.
-Ain't gonna collect your pay?
-Were you looking? About the Statue of Liberty?
-Joking? No, ma'am. Oh no! I mean business!
-I'm sorry. I thought you were -- never mind -- I've never actually been there, but let me see, you take the Seventh Avenue subway, I think, to the end of the line...
-You're not looking for the Statue of Liberty at all.
-No, ma'am, I'm not.
-I can tell, can't you?
-Yeah, oh yeah.
-He's got taxi fare.
-Well, that's something never happened to me before, you can bet your bottom dollar. Uh, where's the matches, ma'am?
-You think I'm lying!
-Maybe we should take a little nap, see what happens?
-I ain't sleepy.
-That's pretty Freudian, Joe.
-What? It's a perfectly good word, ain't it. How much time I got? Goddam sand thing drive you crazy. Kee-rist. Spelling never was a very strong point with me. Even in school.
-If you didn't talk so much, maybe you could think more.
-There's an E in MONEY. If that's your word.
-M-O-N-Y -- I'm right! That's just exactly how they spell it up there on that big building, bet you could see it from here. M-O-N-Y.
-Okay. Never argue with a man.
-Cut it out. That's cheating, teasing me so I can't think. Just one bitsy Y word and I gonna beat you!
-You gonna beat me, Joe?
-Beat your butt, you don't lemme think!
-Gay ends in Y. Fey. You like that -- gay fey -- is that your problem?
-That is one hell of a shirt. I bet you paid a pretty price for it, am I right?
-Shee-it... Kee-rist, you really know the ropes. Wish to hell I bumped into you before. I'm Joe Buck from Texas and I'm gonna buy you a drink, what do you say to that?
-Enrico Rizzo from the Bronx. Don't mind if I do.
-... you see what I'm getting at here? She got a penthouse up there with color TV and more goddam diamonds than an archbishop and she busts out bawling when I ask for money!
-For what?
-For money.
-For money for what?
-I'm a hustler, hell, didn't you know that?
-How would I know? You gotta tell a person these things A hustler? Picking up trade on the street like that -- baby, believe me -- you need management.
-I think you just put your finger on it, I do.
-Hey, listen, how about you take me to mee this Mister O'Diddle bird right now?
-Tomorrow when some piece like that's scratching your back in a Fifth Avenue townhouse, where'll your pal Rizzo be? Nedicks.
-Let's see how you look. Fine. You look fine. Now I'm gonna have to have that other ten...
-Ten, ten -- I got a twenty -- take that...
-Oh hell, forget it.
-Now take it. Go on. Listen, where can I reach you? Cause I'm gonna make this right with you soon's I get me set up...
-Forget it.
-What's in your socks?
-You keep the sixty-four cents. I want you to have it.
-You want some free medical advice, shut your goddam mouth about that night.
-Listen, keep away from me, hear? You come near me again, I snatch you bald-headed!
-I'm inviting you. I mean if you're not located, I got a place. I'm inviting you, goddamit.
-Smart thing for me to do is haul ass outta here.
-You don't seem like no fag...
-What for?
-I drug in a cot, if you want to stay.
-You want me to stay here tonight, is that the idea?
-I ain't forcing you, like, I mean, who's forcing you?
-I want you to stay, okay? I goddam invited you, didn't I?
-Well, I hope you know what you're in for. I'm a very dangerous person. Someone does me bad like you. If I caught up with you that night, there'd be one dead Ratso long about now. Hear?
-I'm impressed. You're a killer.
-Joe -- do me one favor -- this is my place, am I wrong? You know, in my own place my name ain't Ratso. I mean it so happens my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo.
-Shee-it, man, I can't say all that.
-Rico then, at least call me Rico in my own goddam place.
-The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk. That's a known fact. If I can find the goddam hole the milk squirts out.
-This is an okay setup you got here, but I'd say you ain't just exactly, uh, flush, is that right or not?
-In Florida, they come smooth, ready to eat. Down there, your only problem is, diet-wise, you gotta lift an arm to wipe warm milk off your chin. Tough, hey?
-Miami Beach is the only place for a real hustler. Florida has more rich chicks per square yard than any resort spot in the world. They lie out in their pagodas and pergolas waiting to grab the first jockstrap that passes.
-Look at yourself, Joe, no offense, but frankly, you're beginning to smell. For a stud in this town that's a handicap.
-You ain't got a chance in hell. You need threads and glitter, baby. A front, hey?
-Hey, you're good! I bet you could pick up a living at this if you tried.
-Kee-rist, you pretty damn clever for a skimpy little gimp.
-You like it? Take a look.
-Not bad -- for a cowboy -- you're okay, you're okay.
-Shee-it. Cough yourself inside out, then light a fag, a goddam fag. You make me puke. Where'd you steal it? In the movies?
-The coat? A guy I did a favor once gave it to me. Christ.
-Where'd that come from?
-Forty-second Street. Where'n hell you think it come from?
-Kee-rist, you sure are one twisty little bastard, Ratso.
-The name's Rico, at my own father's grave, a man deserves some respect.
-Respect shee-it! You even steal flowers for his grave.
-Well, uh, he dam well know he ain't 'be-loved Aunt Winifred'.
-Well, this thought just struck me. It wasn't too long ago I was washing dishes way the hell somewhere in Texas.
-Yeah, well, so?
-Now I'm here. I'm in New York City. Getting picked for things. Don't you see what I'm driving at?
-What you're driving at, you want me to get lost so you can go to your fancy-ass party.
-Did I say that? Did I? It don't say nothing about you...
-Don't say nothing about you either.
-But they picked me, right? So what I'll do, I'll just say, now look, you want me? Well, I don't go nowhere without my buddy here.
-You got a comb?
-Don't need a comb.
-Well, I made it. This here is Ratso Rizzo and I...
-Tell her, Ratso.
-Well, if you're awright, why you hanging on the bannister. Can you walk or not?
-They wrong?
-No. But while you was buying the underwear, I could have lifted the socks.
-But thanks. Hey, Joe, don't get sore about this or anything. You promise?
-Yeah.
-Well, I don't think I can walk. I mean, I been falling down a lot and, uh...
-And what?
-I'm scared.
-What of?
-What'll happen. I mean what they do to, you know, do with you -- if you can't -- ah, Christ!
-Who?
-Okay. Here it is. You gonna go see the doctor. I got nine bucks and twenty more Thursday and I gonna be riding high before you know it. So you gonna get you the best goddam doctor in this town and get yourself straightened out, that's what.
-No doctors. No, sir. Not me. Doctors are like goddam auto mechanics. Fix one-thing, unplug another. Operate for piles and while they're there, they unscrew your liver. My old man, for God's sake, wasn't any sicker'n I am when he went to the doctor.
-Well, just exactly what the hell you think you're gonna do? Die on me?
-I'm going to Florida, that's my only chance.
-You know what's wrong with you? You got fevers. You kinky as a bedbug. How you gonna get to Florida?
-I'll find the money. If you just get me on the bus, that's all I ask.
-Just when everything's going my way, you gotta pull a stunt like this.
-These guys're good drivers.
-They gotta be.
-You get your first palm tree in South Carolina.
-How'n hell a dumb Bronx kid like you know that?
-I read it.
-If you have to shiver, why don't you pull the blanket up more?
-I been thinking. I hope we're not gonna have a lotta trouble about my name down there. Because like what's the whole point of this trip anyway?
-Keep the goddam blanket on.
-I mean New York's one thing, but can you see this guy, imagine it, running around the goddam beach all suntan and he's going in swimming, like, and then somebody yells 'Hey, Ratso' -- how does that sound to you?
-Sounds like they knew you.
-Hey -- whatsa matter?
-I'm wet.
-You're what?
-I wet my pants! My seat's all wet.
-Hell, don't cry about it!
-I'm falling apart, that's funny?
-Hey, what the hell you doing?
-Thanks, Joe.
-A drink? I've got some nice gin. If you'd prefer something else, they'll send it up...
-Gin's okay.
-Sometimes it seems to me time stopped twenty years ago. There was this war, there was this handsome young man with quite black hair and he was supposed to die. But he didn't. Isn't that amusing?
-What d'you want?
-What?
-What you got me up here for?
-Oh, difficult, it's so difficult. You're a nice person, Joe -- I should never have asked you up -- a lovely person. Oh, how I loathe life. I loathe it. Please go. Please.
-You want me to leave?
-No, yes. No, I mean yes please go. Help me to be good. Come back tomorrow. Promise.
-I'm going to Florida.
-Listen, I gotta have money.
-Here. Don't even thank me.
-I gotta have more'n ten. I gotta have fifty-seven dollars.
-I simply don't have it, Joe.
-Get outta my way.
-Am I tickled to find you, boy! Come on in and let's get a look at you. Turn around. Good strong back. You'll need it. So you want help -- take a seat, relax, tell me about yourself. Cowboy, huh?
-No sir, I'm no cowboy really, but I'm a first class stud.
-Take it,easy, boy... Seems to me you're different than a lotta boys that come to me. Most of 'em seem troubled, confused, but I'd say you knew exactly what you want.
-You bet I do, sir.
-But I'll bet you got one thing in common with them other boys. I'll bet you're lonesome.
-I'm lonesome. I'm lonesome so I'm a drunk. I'm lonesome so I'm a dope fiend. I'm lonesome so I'm a thief, a fornicator, a whore-monger. Poop, I say, poop! I've heard it all and I'm sick of it, sick to death.
-Yessir, I can see that.
-Lonesomeness is something you take. You bear? Dammit, you take it and go about your business, that's all.
-Well, uh, I'm raring to go.
-Yes, I believe you are. Cowboy, huh?
-Uh, yessir.
-Ready for hard work, son?
-Ready for anything.
-I got a hunch, Joe Buck, it's gonna be easier for you than most.
-Gonna be like money from home.
-You're a wonderful boy. You'n me gonna have fun, dammit, it don't have to be joyless. Say, why don't we get right down on our knees now?
-Get down -- where?
-Ever stationed at Kennedy? Those Florida chicks...
-Instant V-goddam-D.
-This Pensacola teeny-bopper -- jail bait -- but built? Ten bucks she wanted. Three of us made a deal for, twenty-five, see, big goddam bargain?
-Big peni-goddam-cillin bargain, right?
-You got it.
-You really want to do business?
-Sold. Let's go.
-... and taxi fare for me.
-Get lost.
-He fell. Hey, fella, you fell. Is he all right?
-Getchmis olsun
-Getchmis...?
-Looks like a cheap hotel.
-'Figgers.
-...He had a bald skull and...
-The kids? Why are they...
-Yeah.
-History, man, history. How much?
-Two kilos.
-Where?
-The airport. Trying to get on the plane for the States.
-Could be ten or fifteen. Maybe even twenty.
-Twenty months?
-Years?
-Tunnel?
-Hey! I'm getting this together man and I don't need no fucking Gastro-head along on this trip! We go through the wall.
-You got that, shit face? Asina...
-It's there!
-What?
-Want me to take over?
-What?
-How's your hernia?
-Anybody bitten?
-Nah, just covered with batshit!
-Who?
-To what?
-Too bad you didn't have a machine.
-Gotta be here someplace. Thought I heard a couple of dead Christians singing down there.
---the water like "'weeps" through the cement, see. Twenty, thirty years, you can almost push it over. All we do is use Gastrohead's screwdriver here and scrape the mortar out. Pull out 2, 3 stones, squeeze through, put 'em back, and get our ass down the shaft, It's a two night operation, maybe three.
-And what do you do when you in the catacombs?
-Hey, you know what's gonna get us out of here? It's not a map, Max. It's our balls. You know what I mean... ...I gotta get laid man, I don't know 'bout you guys, but if I don't get it on soon, I'm... I'm not gonna make it.
-Shit.
-Haps, railroad, bus timetables?
-Dad...I'm...
-...Don't worry about it. I can punch you in the nose later. Right now we've got to get you out of here. You all right?
-Yeah. How's Mom?
-Bad. She couldn't make the trip. You know Her boy... Susan told us before we got your letter. She's fine; she's trying to get the money to come back and see you, but...
-No, don't let her! I'll... How about Peg? Robbie?
-Right! That's what we're shooting for. Mister Davis and have been in contact with the State Department, but right now relations with the Turks aren't too good, Nixon's upset the hell out of them. Our best bet's... right here.
-Dad... I'll pay you back for all this, I Promise.
-Where'd you get that limp?
-Where you staying, Dad?
-The Hilton.
-How do you like it? Istanbul?
-Why'd you do it, Billy?
-For the money... )
-I know you kids smoke that stuff, and we drink booze, but taking it across a border - it was stupid, Billy. Stupid.
-DAD!
-You know where they are?
-Sure.
-How far?
-About ten kilometers.
-Sixty Lira?
-Those mountains? are they?
-Two miles! Minefields over there. Do you know where this campground is or not?
-Not far. Just a little way.
-No! I'm not going any further! It'll wreck my car.
-I'll pay extra
-Where are the minefields?
-All over. Turkish Army up there. It's against the law. They shoot us. You sure you looking for your friends, man?
-Okay! Ley me out right here. I'm getting tired of all this bullshit from you. I'll walk it.
-No, I'm not afraid.
-Good. There's nothing to be afraid of. If you co-operate with us, you will be on the plane for New York tomorrow... yes?
-Yes...?
-Good. Now, where did you get the hashish?
-A cabdriver. He picked me up in the Pudding Shoppe in the bazaar.
-Would you recognize him again?
-Yes. I think so.
-You decided to fly at a bad time Billy Palestinian Guerrillas all over the place blowing up planes and all.
-Stupid.
-Four planes in four days...but I guess you kids don't read the newspapers...and what with our people kicking up a shit storm 'bout the flow of heroin from Turkey you got...
-Well, you see Billy, it don't really matter right now if it's 2 kilos or 200 kilos. The Turks love to catch any foreigner smuggling - it shows the world they're fighting the drug trade.
-But just...
-Just what?
-...are you with the Consulate?
-How much you pay this joker... this cab driver?
-Two hundred dollars. It was my last two hundred.
-Three, four thousand...I don't know. The guy offered me the hash-- ...it just seemed like easy money.
-Beats working.
-Got a family back there?
-Yeah. Parents, brother, sister. Babylon, Long Island.
-What's your father do?
-He sells insurance for Metropolitan Life.
-Girlfriend?
-She didn't know anything about...I wouldn't have wanted her to.
-Jeez, she used to say I was the lucky one.
-How's it feel?
-Just Erich.
-Feeling all right?
-New people sometimes get on his nerves.
-And you?
-What they give you?
-How much did you have?
-A hundred grams.
-There is no fair in Turkey, Billy. It's all "sula-bula" like this, like that. An Italian hippie had a car accident and a Turk was killed. SO, they threw him in here for six months...
-That doesn't seem so bad.
-But he was eating lunch a mile away when the Turk smashed into killed himself.
-He wasn't even in the car?
-You just got to get yourself a good lawyer. And some money... Talk to Max. He's been in the longest.
-How long?
-Hello, Billy.
-I want you to know we're going to do everything, in our power to get you out as soon as possible. Believe me.
-What's wrong?
-No... It looks like your going to have a new court.
-What do you mean?
-The Prosecutor objected to your sentence for possession; he wanted a smuggling conviction and the High Court in Ankara reviewed it.
-And?
-What do you mean LIFE FOR FOR WHAT! FOR WHAT!
-Best way is get your ass out... any... way... you can...
-What do you mean?
-Get the... midnight... express.
-But how would you get into the shaft, Jimmy?
-You gotta be fucking crazy! You got stabbed in the ass once too much, sweetheart, cause you're gonna end up in Section 13, that's what - not the 'catacombs.
-Yeah, for the criminally insane. I was there once for two weeks and it ain't an illusion. It's awful. Namidou runs it like a death camp, that's where he spends most of his time...
-Where is it?
-You got your stuff?
-Okay?
-Yeah!
-What time is it?
-Shit! Shit! Shit!
-We go back.
-What? You gotta be joking.
-Goddamn Gastro's killing me. Making me blind. Hey Billy!
-Yeah.
-Yeah I got it all worked out. Billy, listen to me. That old guard likes you, You drop some acid on him. When he's Seeing rainbows yer know. walk out - tonight.
-Then we're outside the kogus. Then what?
-What?
-After we're outside the kogus?
-Oh we... we...
-What?
-Cut his fucking throat.
-Whose?
-Max, sit down. You're in no shape to kill anybody.
-I want to cut his throat.
-It's already been cut.
-...His money - steal that, you steal his blood... Could you see his face when everything he worked so hard to get got snatched? If we knew where he hid it. Anyway, steal from him they'd pick up the whole prison and shake it sideways. We couldn't hide it anywhere.
-You know where it is?
-What?
-'Dem dat hides can finds says I'... I seen him, the clever tit, sneaking looks at it late at night, talking to it.
-Hishradyo.
-Max - where?
-Just got some news on Bell.
-What?
-Bad. Sent to the City Hospital. They ruptured his hernia again.
-Why the suit?
-I think I've been poisoned.
-And you ate two baclavas, right? I not to touch them, mine was awful.
-Never was anybody like you...
-You can't take anything seriously.
-Billy, what's the matter?
-My passport!
-Susan - forget it. Go get us a seat on the plane. Now.
-What is it? . . . Billy?
-Billy - you'll just make yourself crazy.
-What is it with you man, what the hell is it?
-Cat, ah! Ayip!
-You're ayip!
-Look, you don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you, right?
-But you fuck with me. You fuck with me all the time. You make crummy tea. You rip us off on the hash.
-I make special tea for you, Hiyes, okay? We've to live like brothers. We have to be in here together.
-Know what?
-Was.. ...seven years old. I was on street in Suk. Buy. Sell. No family to take care. I learn.
-Dog eat dog, Hi-yes. You fuck other man before he fuck you. And you must fuck last.
-That's a great philosophy.
-Hey, Ziat, hurry up with the tea will ay!
-Work, work, work, that's all do
-Vilyum, I am Necdit Yesil.
-Mr. Yesil.
-You know I have lectured at the University of Maryland in your country? Also University Michigan Very nice country. We both go back.
-What'd the Prosecutor say?
-It's not important, just technical things. We make our case. You were very good, you spoke well. The Judge like you. It look good. Don't worry.
-Lawyers?
-His name?
-Who?
-What lawyer?
-Who got the Frenchman out?
-Hey, you can't...
-What's your name?
-Jeremy...
-Okay, Jeremy...go get Dr. Chris Raymond, will you?
-Lady...
-The blintzes! "Try the blintzes..."
-Selling your sould for a fistful of carbohydrates...
-Not just any carbohydrates, mind you. It was like being on the receiving end of some kind of transcendent oral sex. We should get a strobe on this thing. Maybe even a siren.
-You really love flashing that thing, don't you?
-Internal hemorrage. 2 our of 5 have it. No definite signs of TB, but we'll quarantine them a week just to make sure.
-Immigration's gonna love you for that.
-Did they get the sleazebag who owns this place?
-There are thirty five listed in the reverend Wong's roster...
-Peter...
-Yeah...?
-There's some weird shit here.
-Weird shit...?
-You all watch your step. We got some burrows goin' down seven stories here. You fall, I don't wanna have to come pick you up.
-There's really people living down here?
-Funny. Shoulda seen some track bunnies by now.
-What?
-Show that to the station manager. Tell him Leonard's gonna have his bubble-butt he don't have someone down here in ten.
-H-how do I get...?
-Go left. Go left again till you hit the fork... Then right again. You got that?
-I think so. One right, two lefts...
-And a right.
-Look, I showed you my badge...
-Yeah, and you gonna have to show me a lot bigger one you wanna go down there. That's the old maintenance grid, Doc. Swiss cheese: tunnels, tracks...
-The Department of Public Health...
-...should know better'n to go sneakin' around my turf...
-Fine. You want me to call your supervisor?
-Excuse me, I'm talking to you.
-For Chrissakes. You gonna lay a two- bit bureaucratic, territorial number on me?
-We'll be back at the platform in...
-20 minutes. If you don't go sight-seeing anymore.
-Did you see the size of that thing?!
-Oh, that's gonna work.
-Any luck?
-You said those cables're still live. Can't we rewire...?
-Oh, man, there you go again.
-What?
-For Chrissakes, what's the problem? You need a memo every time you fart?
-I only got...
-Wait a minute-
-Its muscles are locked.
-You feel anything?
-Yeah, I feel like ripping your fucking eyes out...
-Leonard, listen. I need to see if there's any nerve damage before we carry you back. Look, I'm trying to help you here...
-Oh, you helped me here, all right, white boy. You and your goddam memo. You needed to prove your point, uh?
-A mistake.
-"Mistake"? What's that supposed to...?
-It doesn't matter, all right? It's dead.
-Is there a switch?
-Can we get this car there?
-You gonna finally get to fuck around with the wires. Think you can handle it?
-The kid...
-The kid's with them!!
-What do you-?
-He's special.
-My God, what the hell are you...?
-What are you doing down here?
-You better tell me what the hell's going on here!
-The lights come up, you pull the switch.
-I pull.
-What's Manny doing? I can't see him anymore.
-What are you putting that crap on me for?
-But the power...
-It would take a minute or so. You won't last that long out there.
-He didn't do it!
-What?
-Which way?
-We're no leaving you!
-Just inner chambers...
-But it look like a man. It... I saw it.
-Mantids can mimic. We gave the Judas that code...
-"...and behold he will come that walks as a man, yet is not a man- ..."
-He's out there. I heard him. How can he be? This things...
-Manny...
-I didn't protect him, lady. He trusted me. And I didn't protect him... His father...I lost his father to the streets and now, Chuy...
-A shame. You looked great tonight.
-Please.
-Do you think we did the right thing?
-Taking a cab instead of hiring a limo?
-We did no impact evaluation. The consequences of...
-Who know? We get lucky, maybe a couple of 'em'll be ours.
-You know where they get this fertility stuff? They extract it from the urine of menopausal Italian nuns.
-You were the one who ran around with ice in his underwear, don't forget that.
-Okay, meet me out front. I gotta go. Josh's picking me up in five. see you tonight.
-Thought it was my week for that.
-This thing was the size of my fist, Peter!! That's off the charts!
-Okay. So you lost a great specimen-
-Evolution doesn't work that fast. Something pushed that thing to take the leap. We need to find another specimen.
-Keep going. We'll tell you when to stop...
-Maybe they lied to you.
-Metaxonycha Godmani.
-Honey, just leave it.
-You give someone a fucking uniform and... Did you hear how he talked to us?
-I heard how you talked to him.
-He was just doing his job.
-Great crowd.
-I get the feeling they came more for the potroast than the apterids.
-Fuck 'em. They don't know what they're missing.
-Oh, no, you were-
-Ironic, don't you think? These guys can hatch hundreds of offspring in a single clutch of eggs, right? And here we are...
-...you don't even know what you're looking for.
-You said that thing was big as your hand. I don't think I'm going to miss...
-Why take the chance? Just let me go down there with you...
-Susan, listen to me: you handled that insect almost as much as Siri...
-It didn't bite me.
-It's me. Can you hear me?
-Don't.
-No, Jesus, no.
-So, you're saying this is like those bugs that -- that look like twigs or leaves or...
-His blood! It's driving them crazy! We have to mask the odor!
-It's no use! They know we're in here!
-They don't know anything Peter, they just sense. They're hardwired!
-Rub it on the windows!
-What-
-We'll cover ourselves with this. They can mimic us- we Goddam mimic them!
-Peter-
-It worked before...
-The scent won't last...
-Don't touch it. And for Godsakes, try not to sweat. They can sense chemical changes...
-I was just thinking how I could use a pair of pliers... and I remembered where they are...
-Oh, come on, come on!
-You go first. I'll be right below you.
-Your arm, you can't...
-C'mon...
-Ah...
-Talk to me.
-No...
-Hello.
-You guys have done a nice job. How bout five dollars?
-You sure you didn't see one of these?
-Gross. What is it?
-An "Ootheca". An eggcase. It probably had more, uh "weirdbugs" inside.
-Siri, sandblast that thing. It looks like Trump Tower. Those mounds are supposed to be made of dirt and excretions...
-...as long as they're ready for the opening I don't care, just tell them that.
-I'm on it. Don't worry. Look, Susan...I don't mean to pry, but... I kinda overheard you and Peter.
-Watch your step, Siri. Your grant could be on the line here.
-I just...well, I had this cousin in Delhi. She was having problems, too. She, ah...
-What?
-Not a big one. I mean, it was like a turkey baster.
-What's this?
-I'm gonna pull it out and I want you to pin it down, okay?
-What is it?
-It bit you.
-This wing configuration. I've never...
-Fuck! It broke the skin...
-My God.
-That's impossible. Insects don't...
-Oh, my!
-Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. You didn't give me a chance to knock.
-Guess you can tell from my reaction, I'm not all that used to visitors out here. What can I do for you?
-I was just wondering if you happen to know anything about Paul Sheldon.
-What do you want to know?
-Excuse me, that's not exactly the kind of information I was after. You see, he's been missing for quite some time now, and...
-I know. It's so upsetting. I'm his number-one fan...I've got all his books, every sentence he ever put down. I'm so proud of my Paul Sheldon collection... ...here I am, prattling on and my manners have just flown away. I haven't invited you in. Please.
-God told me, since I was his number- one fan, that I should make up new stories as if I was Paul Sheldon. So, went to town. And I bought a typewriter. And paper to type on. The same kind Paul Sheldon used. And I turned the guest bedroom into a writing studio. Would you like to see it?
-Sure.
-Well... ...maybe it takes time to get the hang of it.
-I could give you a couple of hundred pages of mine, and you could tell me what you think.
-I'm not much of a critic.
-Well, I just thought--oh, look at me. You'd think I'd never had a house guest before. Would you like something to drink?
-Sure.
-How does a nice cup of cocoa sound?
-Must get lonely, living out here all by yourself.
-I always say if you can't enjoy your own company, you're not fit company for anyone else.
-Thanks, Miz Wilkes, but I don't want to take up any more of your time. I best be going.
-If you don't mind, perhaps I could pay you another visit sometime.
-Shhh... we're just outside Silver Creek.
-How long...?
-You've been here two days. You're gonna be okay. My name is Annie Wilkes and I'm--
-Here.
-What are they...?
-Shouldn't I be in a hospital?
-Your legs just sing grand opera when you move, don't they? It's not going to hurt forever, Paul, I promise you.
-Will I be able to walk?
-No, it wasn't a miracle at all... in a way, I was following you.
-Well, it wasn't any secret to me that you were staying at the Silver Creek, seeing as how I'm your number- one fan and all. Some nights I'd just tool on down there, sit outside and look up at the light in your cabin-- and I'd try to imagine what was going on in the room of the world's greatest writer.
-Say that last part again, I didn't quite hear--
-Don't move now--wouldn't want to hurt this neck-- Well, the other afternoon I was on my way home, and there you were, leaving the Lodge, and I wondered why a literary genius would go for a drive when there was a big storm coming.
-I didn't know it was going to be a big storm.
-You're very kind...
-When do you think the phone lines'll be back up? I have to call my daughter, and I should call New York and let my agent know I'm breathing.
-It shouldn't be too much longer. Once the roads are open, the lines'll be up in no time. If you give me their numbers, I'll keep trying them for you. Could I ask you a favor? I noticed in your case there was a new Paul Sheldon book and... and I wondered if maybe...
-You want to read it?
-If you wouldn't mind.
-I have a hard and fast rule about who can read my stuff at this early stage--only my editor, my agent, and anyone who saves me from freezing to death in a car wreck.
-What's your new book called?
-I don't have a title yet.
-What's it about?
-It's crazy, but I don't really know, I mean I haven't written anything but "Misery" for so long that--you read it you can tell me what you think it's about. Maybe you can come up with a title.
-But what?
-Nothing.
-No, what is it?
-Oh, it's ridiculous, who am I to make a criticism to someone like you?
-I can take it, go ahead.
-Well, it's brilliantly written, but then everything you write is brilliant.
-Pretty rough so far.
-The swearing, Paul. There, I said it.
-The profanity bothers you?
-It has no nobility.
-Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.
-They had it at the store, Paul, there was a whole batch of them there. As soon as I saw it, I slammed my money down. I got the first copy.
-Then the roads are open...
-The one to town is, but that's about it. I called the hospital and talked to the head orthopedic surgeon. I told him who you were and what had happened. He said as long as there's no infection, you're not in any danger, and as soon as the road to the hospital is open, they'll send an ambulance for you.
-The phones are working?
-Well, mine's still out. But the ones in town were working just fine. I called that agent of yours. Oh, Paul, I peeked at the very beginning. What a wonderful first page--just to read the name Misery Chastain...
-My daughter must be going nuts.
-...it's like a visit from my oldest, dearest friend.
-I was supposed to be home for her birthday three days ago.
-I made you my speciality--scrambled eggs a la Wilkes. And I'm on page 75.
-I guess that means it's okay.
-No. No, it isn't, it's-- --oh pooh, I can't think of any words. Would "great" be insulting?
-I don't mean to pry, but I've read in two magazines now where you were seeing this model who does those disgusting jeans commercials. And I said it can't be true. Paul Sheldon would never waste his time with a trampy woman like that.
-Well, you can't believe everything you read in magazines.
-I knew it. I knew it wasn't true. Boy, how do they get away with printing stuff like that?
-Thank you so much.
-I thought it was time you two should meet. Paul, say hello to my favorite beast in all the world, my sow, Misery.
-Yes. I told you I was your number- one fan.
-I'm getting to believe you.
-This farm was getting kind of dreary, what with just the few cows and chickens and me-- But when I got Misery here, everything Changed--she just makes me smile so.
-She's a fine... uh... pig is what she is...
-I'm on page three-hundred now, Paul, and it's better than perfect--it's divine. What's the ceiling that dago painted?
-The Sistine Chapel?
-For a while I thought I might go crazy.
-I know how that can be.
-I just kept reading them over and over. I know when I finish this one-- and I've only got two chapters to go-- I'll just turn right to the front page and start reading it again.
-I'm...
-Done?
-Yeah, thanks.
-Don't get me wrong. I'm not against marriage per se. But it would take a pretty special guy to make me want to go down the aisle again.
-Well, it's not something you should enter into lightly.
-I'd love to stay here and chat, but I'm right at the end and I gotta find out what happens.
-Well, I hope you like it.
-You...you dirty bird. She can't be dead. Misery Chastain cannot be dead! How could you?
-Annie, in 1871, women often died in childbirth, but her spirit is the important thing, and Misery's spirit is still alive--
-I DON'T WANT HER SPIRIT! I want HER! And you MURDERED her!
-I DIDN'T...
-Then who did?
-No one--she just died--she slipped away, that's all.
-What are you doing on the floor? It's my fault. If I'd had a proper hospital bed, this never would have happened. Here, let me help you back in. I know this hurts, but it'll only take a few seconds. There you go. Comfy?
-Perfect.
-You're such a kidder. I have a big surprise for you. But first there's something you must do.
-I don't suppose I could have a little snack while I wait for the surprise?
-But this time I thought clearly. I asked God about you and God said "I delivered him unto you so that you may show him the way."
-Show me the way?
-You want me to burn my book?
-Yes.
-You want me to burn my book?
-I know this may be difficult for you, but it's for the best.
-Then light the match, Paul.
-No big deal.
-I know this is the only copy, Paul. When you were twenty-four you wrote your first book and you didn't make a copy, because you didn't think anybody would take it seriously. But they did. And ever since you've never made any copies because you're superstitious--it's why you always come back to the Silver Creek Lodge. You told that story to Merv Griffin eleven
-You know, Annie, this book never would have survived without you. When it gets to new York, there will be a big auction, and whatever it brings we can split. God knows you're entitled to it.
-Oh, Paul. This isn't about money. It's about decency and purity. It's about God's values.
-You're right. You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. I'll tell you what. It doesn't have to be published. Nobody ever has to see it. I'll just keep it for myself. No one will ever have to know it exists.
-I do believe the winters are getting shorter and shorter every year. People say it has something to do with the ozone layer. What do you think?
-I don't know.
-Yeah, well, it's a theory. Here's your Novril. How does tuna casserole sound for dinner?
-See, isn't this nice?
-Great. I've always wanted to visit the other side of the room.
-And look what I've got for you. An electric razor so you can shave yourself now.
-If I knew this was gonna be the surprise, you could've gotten me to burn all my books.
-Set what up?
-That's the big surprise. Your new studio--after all, writers do need a place to work.
-Work? You mean write? What in the world do you think I'd write?
-Misery's Return?
-Yes. It will be a book in my honor. For saving your life and nursing you back to health. I'll be the first one to read it. Oh, Paul, you're going to make me the envy of the whole world...
-You just expect me to whip something off, that it?
-I expect nothing less than your masterpiece.
-I guess you don't get bothered by neighbors much.
-Don't worry about that. You'll have total solitude so you can concentrate on your work.
-And I got a great deal on this fifty- pound clunker--on account of it's missing an "n." I told the saleslady "n" was one of the letters in my favorite writer's name.
-It's two of the letters in my favorite nurse's name, Annie.
-You--fooler...! Did I do good?
-You did great, except there's just one little thing--I can't work with this paper. It's Corrasable Bond, it smudges. Maybe you could go back into town and bring me some white, long-grained mimeo.
-But mine cost the most so I don't see how it could smudge.
-Well, it does smudge after all--isn't that fascinating?
-I thought you'd be interested. I'd like you to be in on everything, Annie. Not just the finished book, but how it's written.
-Thank you for thinking of me. Anything else I can get while I'm in town? Any other crucial requirements that need satisfying? Would you like a tiny tape recorder? Or maybe a handmade set of writing slippers?
-No, just the paper will be fine.
-Are you sure? 'Cause if you want, I'll bring back the whole store for you.
-Annie, what's the matter?
-Paul, you're dripping with perspiration, your color is very hectic--what have you been doing?
-You know goddamn well what I've been doing--I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE SUFFERING. I need my pills.
-Poor dear... Let's get you back in bed and I'll get them for you.
-I want my pills NOW!
-It'll only take a second.
-Here, in case you think of any ideas.
-Yeah, well I wouldn't expect too much.
-I'm sorry, Paul. This is all wrong, you'll have to do it over again.
-What? What happened to "I'll treasure whatever you do?"
-Paul, it's not worthy of you. Throw it all out except for the part of naming that gravedigger after me. You can leave that in.
-I really value your criticism, but maybe you're being a little hasty here.
-Paul, what you've written just isn't fair.
---not fair?
-That's right--when I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favorite thing in all the world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the chapter plays...
---cliff-hangers--
-"HE DIDN'T GET OUT OF THE COCKADOODIE CAR!"
-They always cheated like that in cliff-- --chapter plays.
-What's the matter, Paul? You haven't written a word.
-I can't write this anymore.
-Don't be silly. Of course you can.
-I'm telling you, I can't.
-You can--you have the "gotta"--
-The what?
-The "gotta." Remember, you talked about it in Playboy magazine. You said there's a million things you can't do in this world; you can't hit a curve ball, you can't fix a leaky faucet or make a marriage work-- but there's one thing you always have, and that's the power of the "gotta."
-I said that?
-What about a bee...?
-What?
-Well, is it fair? Should I keep going?
-I've known from the very first book that Misery had to be born of nobility and I was right!
-Oh, Paul, can I read each chapter when you finish? I can fill in the "n"s. Will she be her old self, now that Ian has dug her out, or will she have amnesia...?
-...have to wait.
-Will she still love him with that special perfect love?
-Have to wait.
-Misery's alive! Misery's alive. Oh, it's so romantic--this whole house is going to be filled with romance. I'm going to put on my Liberace records-- --you do like Liberace, don't you?
-Whenever he played Radio City, who do you think was right there in the front row?
-To celebrate Misery's return. I couldn't have done it without you.
-I hope you like it.
-It looks wonderful. And so do you.
-I've never had meatloaf this good, what do you do to it?
-My secret is I only use fresh tomatoes, never canned. And to give it that little extra zip, I mix in some Spam with the ground beef.
-Annie, I think we should have a toast.
-A toast?
-To Misery.
-Wait, let's do this right. Do you have any candles?
-Did you study decorating, or do you just have a flair?
-Oh, you. I just picked things up over the years.
-Well, it certainly says you.
-You really think so?
-Are you kidding? If anyone ever told me that one day I'd be having a candlelit dinner with Paul Sheldon in my own house, I woulda checked both legs to see which one was being pulled. Will this do?
-Oh, God, what have I done? I'm so sorry, Paul. I ruined your beautiful toast. Will you ever forgive me? Here, let me pour another one. Can we pretend this never happened? To Misery?
-Paul, this is positively the best Misery you've ever written.
-Annie, what is it?
-When you first came here, I only loved the writer part of Paul Sheldon. But now I know I love the rest of him too. As much as Misery loves Ian. I know you don't love me--don't say you do--you're a beautiful, brilliant, famous man of the world; and I'm...not a movie star type. You'll never know the fear of losing someone like you
-Why would you lose me?
-The book is almost finished. Your legs are getting better. Soon you'll be able to walk. You'll be wanting to leave.
-Why would I want to leave? I like it here.
-That's very kind of you, but I'll bet it's not altogether true.
-Paul, I know you've been out.
-What?
-You've been out of your room.
-No, I haven't.
-Paul, my little ceramic penguin in the study always faces due south.
-Now don't fuss, Paul.
-Paul, don't you think it's time for you to start writing again? It's been over a week.
-I don't know, it's weird, but a couple of broken bones hasn't done a lot for my creative juices. Get the fuck out of here.
-Don't talk to me like that.
-Why, what are you going to do? Kill me? Take your best shot.
-Why are you so mean, Mister you'd-be- dead-in-the-snow-if-it-wasn't-for- me?
-Oh, no reason, you keep me prisoner, you make me burn my book, you drive a sledgehammer into my ankles...
-I'll drive a sledgehammer into your man-gland if you're not nicer--
-Be my guest.
-I know you do. I love you too, Annie. And you're right. We are meant to be together. And I know we must die. But it must be so that Misery can live. We have the power to give Misery eternal life. We must finish the book.
-But the time is now. Soon others will come.
-Oh, Paul. It's beautiful.
-The stranger staying at the Inn, is he someone from Misery's past?
-Maybe.
-This is so exciting. It's Windthorne, her first love, right?
-It WAS Windthorne. I knew it--what does that do to her love for Ian?-- --of course, if she hadn't thought Windthorne was murdered she never would have fallen in love with Ian in the first place. Sorry, it's just that this is so wonderful.
-I'm glad you like it.
-Paul, this will be our legacy.
-Oh, Paul. I'm dying. Does she wind up with Ian or Windthorne? You have to tell me.
-You'll know very soon. I'm starting the last chapter. And when I finish, I want everything to be perfect. I'll require three things.
-What things?
-You don't know?
-I was fooling, silly. You need a cigarette, because you used to smoke but you quit except when you finish a book, and you just have one, and the match is to light it. And you need one glass of champagne. Dome Pear-igg-non.
-Yes, Paul.
-I'm almost done.
-Oh, Paul, this is so romantic. Ian and Windthorne dueling for the right to Misery's hand. Does Ian win? Oh, don't me. It's Windthorne, right?
-You'll know everything in a minute. Get the champagne.
-Did I do good?
-We actually got a phone call. Busy morning.
-Work, work, work. Virginia? When was that blizzard?
-Virginia, when you're in this car, you're not my wife, you're my deputy.
-Stop--stop right here.
-Could be the weight of the snow.
-You really think Sheldon's out there?
-Here's the list of all Sheldon's credit charges. Nothing after the Silver Creek. Any calls?
-You don't think he's dead, do you?
-He might well be. But not the way they say. He didn't crawl out of that car by himself. You saw those dents on the door--someone pulled him out.
-It was an old car--those dents could have been there forever.
-Hey, Jim, what's doing? Uh-huh... uh- huh... Jim, we've been over this. If you're gonna have benches in front of your store, people are gonna sit on them. I don't like him either, but I'm not going to come over there and tell him to move. Give my best to Denise. Bye.
-Well, whoever she is, she sure likes to read a lot.
-Virginia, I'm flattered you think I got that much energy. I just figured if I can't find Paul Sheldon, at least I can find out what he wrote about.
-What do you expect to find? A story about a guy who drove his car off a cliff in a snowstorm?
-"There is a justice higher than that of man. I will be judged by Him."
-What?
-They're hauling Misery into court.
-That's nice.
-Just leave it, all right?
-Oh, I like that tone.
-How many times do I have to tell you-- I have a system here. Where the hell is that thing?
-What thing?
-That thing. Here it is. Right where it's supposed to be.
-What is it?
-I'm not sure. Maybe nothing.
-It's good you found it.
-I'm a literary agent, and I feel like a fool calling you, but I think one of my clients, Paul Sheldon, might be in some kind of trouble.
-Paul Sheldon? You mean Paul Sheldon the writer?
-Yes.
-He's your client, huh?
-People sure like those Misery books.
-I'm sure you know Paul's been going to the Silver Creek Lodge for years to finish his books.
-Yeah, I understand he's been up here the last six weeks.
-Not quite. I just called, and they said he checked out five days ago. Isn't that a little strange?
-No, no, of course not. It's just that his daughter hasn't heard from him, and when he's got a book coming out, he usually keeps in touch. So when there was no word from him...
-You think he might be missing?
-I appreciate that. Thanks a lot.
-Nothing unusual about Mr. Sheldon's leaving, Buster--you can tell by the champagne.
-Maybe you can, Libby.
-No, see, he always ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon when he was ready to go. Then he'd pay up and be out the door.
-No long-distance phone calls, Federal Express packages--anything at all out of the ordinary?
-I don't think Mr. Sheldon likes for things to be out of the ordinary. Considering who he is and all, famous and all, he doesn't have airs. Drives the same car out from New York each time--'65 Mustang--said it helps him think. He was always a good guest, never made a noise, never bothered a soul. Sure hope nothing happened to him.
-So do I...
-I'll bet that old Mustang's pulling into New York right now.
-Hey, Pete.
-Buster.
-Answer me a couple things?
-If I can.
-Do you have any of those new Paul Sheldon books?
-We had a batch. Sold 'em all in three days.
-You wouldn't happen to remember if Miz Wilkes bought one, would you?
-Has she been buying any odd things lately?
-Miz Wilkes? Same old stuff. --Lest you call paper odd.
-Newspapers?
-No, the typing kind.
-An old friend. I was rummaging through a closet and it was just sitting there. Like it was waiting for me.
-It's... it's nice, Paul. It's got... character.
-When I wrote my first book, I used to carry it around in this while I was looking for a publisher. That was a good book, Marcia. I was a writer then.
-You're still a writer.
-I haven't been a writer since I got into the Misery business--
-Not a bad business. This thing would still be growing, too. The first printing order on Misery's Child was the most ever--over a million.
-Marcia, please.
-No, no. Misery Chastain put braces on your daughter's teeth and is putting her through college, bought you two houses and floor seats to the Knick games and what thanks does she get? You go and kill her.
-Marcia, you know I started "Misery" on a lark. Do I look like a guy who writes romance novels? Do I sound like Danielle Steel? It was a one- time shot and we got lucky. I never meant it to become my life. And if I hadn't gotten rid of her now, I'd have ended up writing her forever. For the first time in
-I'm glad to hear that, Paul, I really am. But you have to know--when your fans find out that you killed off their favorite heroine, they're not going to say, "Ooh, good, Paul Sheldon can finally write what we've always wanted: An esoteric, semi- autobiographical character study.
-Sorry I'm late. Jenny's basketball game went into overtime. If anybody ever told me I'd have a daughter who'd get a triple double, I'd...
-Did they win?
-Yeah. They're in the semis.
-The word I'm getting is the Times review is gonna be a love letter.
-That'd be a first.
-And my contacts at Time and Newsweek tell me they're both raves. And don't laugh--for the first time, I think you've got a shot at some prizes.
-Great.
-I thought you'd be thrilled. You're being taken seriously.
-I like it. Remember how you once said I live my whole life as if I'm in danger of being found out? Well, I believe I've managed to get that guy down on paper. Don't think I'm completely nuts, but in some way, Annie Wilkes, that whole experience, helped me.
-Paul, since you brought her up, I have to ask you this, or I'd be drummed out of the agents' union-- what about a non-fiction book? The truth about what went on in that house.
-Gee, Marcia, if I didn't know you better, I'd think you were suggesting I dredge up the worst horror of my life just so we could make a few bucks.
-I thought you were over it.
-- pull the NO2 tank and dump it, it's potential evidence..
-All done, chief..
-- right - - don't go too far ahead of me now -
-Not everything. Why do you think she's really here?
-From her point of view or mine?
-One considers her timing, of course - getting nicked within a week of the plane going down. Suggestive, even borderline suspicious, but hardly conclusive.
-You're not scrutinizing any casual shrug for some hair-splitting nuance, are you?
-I thought you were going to dinner.
-Hugh, take care of the Nekhorvich memory card.
-Where is it?
-Afraid he's got no choice. I believe I broke his jaw.
-Not much luggage.
-I left in a bit of a hurry. I'm terribly grateful, Sean.
-How grateful?
-Well that depends.
-On what.
-How hard you had to work to get me out of there..how in the world did you ever find me?
-How I usually find you, Nyah.
-How do you that.
-Magic...
-Your room.
-Mmmm.
-You're not interested in seeing how it looks.
-I said you're beautiful, Nyah.
-Won't do, love. It's not spring. It's nearly autumn..You're in Oz. everything's upside down and backwards here.
-You won.
-I suppose I did.
-What made you pick <i>that</i> nag? She'd never won a bloody thing.
-'Thief in the Night?'
-See anything you like?
-To win?
-You picked another winner!
-Sean, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about... Isn't going to be easy for me to say.
-Then don't say it.
-I don't know what to do about you, Sean. I'm more than a bit muddled. I need time.
-To do what?
-Sort it all out.
-And you're going to have time. There's been a change of plans.
-A change of plans?
-Yes. We won't be able to have dinner tonight. Something's come up. I hope you don't mind.
-Oh, no, not at all. Maybe just a bit.
-Ulrich will be about. He'll look after you.
-Feel like pleading for your life?
-God damn it, Nyah! Why did you do it? Why did you save that bastard?
-If it'll make you feel any better, you're going to take a lot of Aussies with you and make me a lot of money.
-What are you talking about?
-Bellerophen? No time at all once I've got it.
-Good. Biocyte stock is just a week or two away from going through the roof.
-What are you talking about?
-An outbreak of <i>Chimera.</i>
-Where?
-Outrageous. I won't let you take control of my company.
-Nyah!
-If you look at Hunt's operational history, he invariably favors misdirection and deception. For a start he won't go into Biocyte from the ground where he has to risk confrontation with security.
-Fight a bit of a cold..
-And you're happy about that?
-Beats fighting the flu, I'm here to tell you.
-You know, that was the hardest part of having to portray you. Grinning like an idiot every fifteen minutes.
-I would've thought the hardest part was exercising restraint. Curbing that pressing need of your to get your gun off. You were in such a hurry to knock off that 747, you never figured out where the virus really was.
-I knew where it was.
-There it is, guys, the last of it.
-Yep. You've provided us with a golden opportunity to have both the bug and the bug killer.
-What was the top bid?
-Why, you going to make me a better offer?
-Than thirty-seven million pounds? Not really.
-She doesn't belong here, Sean. Let her go.
-Oh, Hunt, please! One can't hold Nyah responsible for her actions..
-Checkpoint Charlie plus 30, altitude minus two-zero-thousand. Airspeed one-seven- niner knots..
-Not exactly. Wallis?
-More like two-two point two million.
--- now here's the way it's going to work..Wallis, the shares outstanding are..
-Ninety-three point four million.
-Damn. Just when it was about to get interesting.
-What you got there, mate?
-A myth..just a myth...shouldn't you be checking out their countersurveillance?
-Well you know his blokes'll place the OSCOR in his annex, where else if you're pinpointing transmitters, video signals, covert chip cameras, anything radiating, oscillating..
-..or hard wired..
-Well do you disagree with that?
-Not at all. But how about going into town and confirming your intuitions on site?
-Ambrose is meeting some bloke in the bar. Big bloke, ginger hair. They're into something.
-Wrong. All we've got to worry about is Ambrose. Nyah will take care of Nyah.
-What are you talking about?
-It is, Billy.
-Ambrose obviously got these from Nekhorvich on the plane.
-So Ambrose has Bellerophon and McCloy's got Chimera.
-Package away in five..four..three.. two..one...
-Billy. I think we got a problem. Nyah's on the wing. Up early. Billy, do you copy?
-Exactly where is she?
-Before we kill her or cure her..
-We're due to take off.
-Range is two kay.
-There she is. I got visual.
-That's it? That's it? That's it?
-And the check's in the mall.
-I'm booted up. Go, Ethan.
-Say again. Sounds like you're saying 'she's in the building.'
-She's in the elevator heading toward Ethan.
-How much longer before you can reach him?
-How're we doin', then?
-He should've have killed the virus in the incubation area..Nyah's exited the elevator on the same level as the lab.
-What can we do' mate?
-Do you know me?
-No. Should I?
-No. You just looked as if you did.
-No. Just as if I'd like to.
-Oh. Well. I think that can be arranged.
-Not tonight. Bad timing. Sorry -
-Look, it's either you or the rent and I don't mind telling you it's not an easy choice.
-What if I pay the rent?
-Uh-huh.
-What are you doing here?
-Think you're the only one who can pick a lock?
-Would you mind if I'm on top?
-- right..where is it?
-Where's the bloody -
-- torque wrench.
-- this is very disconerting..
-Hey, you put me here. I just do what I'm told.
-I wouldn't do that.
-Under the circumstances I think we would recommend re-setting the senors to respond to a lighter load. How do you feel about forty kilos, Miss Hall?
-Indeed.
-I'm missing something here, aside from a 500,000 pound necklace. Even after I botched the job, I could've walked out of there with the bloody thing.
-At least you walked.
-If you weren't going to let me get away with it, why did you let me go thru with it?
-Wanted to see how good you were. I'm hoping we might work together.
-May I say something, no offence? You look like a gigolo, you sound like a thief, you act like a cop - what the bloody hell do you have in mind?
-Working under adverse conditions. Highly adverse conditions.
-Sounds smashing. I'm in. Muchacho, mi carro, por favor! Now be serious. You couldn't possibly want me off tonight's performance..
-You're apologizing for me? Quite the gentleman..
-Hola..
-Hi. Would you mind slowing down?
-Pull over and listen to me, will you? Just listen..
-Listen to what?
-I need your help and I thin you can use mine.
-Your help? What are you talking about?
-Scotland Yard, Interpol, every Dutch authority. I can make them go away.
-What's you name?
-Ethan Hunt.
-Awfully short notice..
-Care to wait a decent interval?
-When they've got your recruiting technique? Not a thing.
-Oh. Well..this isn't exactly by the book.
-They've got a book for this?
-They've got a book for everything.
-The only other spook I knew was a liar. Charming but absolutely incapable of telling the truth. He'd lie about his favorite color. But then I reckon it's an occupational hazard. All spies really do is conceal the truth and tell lies.
-Not revealing information doesn't necessarily make someone a liar.
-That's not the point. In the end what spies rely on is the one thing they think they know that you don't.
-Which is?
-So where did I got right?
-You're not a liar. Or you're an awfully good one.. ..this thing these blokes pinched..
-Well, then, what I am I doing here? I assume I'm meant to be some sort of thief-to catch-a-thief..
-Spoken like a spook..you ever afraid?
-Ask a question, you get an answer!..
-Damn, you're beautiful.
-What's the population of Seville any idea?
-Five, six-hundred thousand.
-There's nearly 2 million in London.
-And six billion in the world.
-That's lot of people out there..how many of them, I wonder, are capable of something like that?
-Not that it matter much but..I seem to recall you staying something like, 'I was hoping we could work together.'
-This wasn't what I had in mind, Nyah.
-Go and insinuate yourself back into Sean's life.
-I'd like a little more conviction..
-So would I. But it's not mine to give.
-You've either got it or you don't. Let your conscience be your guide?
-But I don't have a conscience. I'm a bloody thief.
-You can be a thief and have a conscience.
-No. You can be a thief and have a conscience: Not me. Why did you have to tell me about this! What do I have to do to get away from this guy? When you're with him, he messes about with your head every waking moment..even now I'll be at some out-of- the-way-place, a tin of caviar and a bottle of Crystal shows up
-I don't.
-Someone in possession of all the facts. Are you telling me I have to do this?
-Generally, I don't favor coercing someone. Not when there's a chance my life could end up in their hands.
-And that's the only reason?
-Can you think of a better one?
-Not me. I was just hoping you might..or that..somehow in the course of business this got personal as well as physical.
-Look, would it make you feel better if I didn't want you to do this?
-Much.
-Sean will never be anything but suspicious if he picks up some sort of 'yoo-hoo-I'm- not-nad' message. Not after the way we broke up.
-What wouldn't make him suspicious?
-Look, I can't run your arrest in CNN, but I guarantee he's monitoring every law enforcement agency in the world, for what they might be saying about him, if nothing else - he's got the ability and, we assume, the desire to get you out of there.
-This doesn't seem to be accomplishing much.
-Well, I mean it's not a total loss. It is keeping a very capable thief off the street..
-Before you are.
-How can you possibly? I've got to get right on the plane. I'm leaving now.
-You don't trust me.
-Oh, I do. But as we know I'm a very poor judge of character.
-He's got you on Qantas flight 2735. It's going to be delayed.
-Yes?
-You'll be fine. I'm going to lose you.
-Ethan, you take care of yourself, I'll take care of myself because if push comes to shove, I'm gonna bail - and without giving two week notice.
-How's it going? Everything okay?
-Just like old times.
-Just like old times?
-We know him. He's over your left shoulder, looking right at you as you go on..
-- Michael, his driver's an Aussie, new to me. Then there's the blokes in the annex at the back of the house.
-Have you met them?
-Annex is strictly off limits to me and they never come to the main house, Michael even takes their meals to them all but shoves them under the door.
-Ambrose has photographs of newspapers with loads of money piled on them -- thirty- seven million on the London Times. What's that about?
--- his left jacket pocket.
-Where do I meet you?
-Betting table twelve off the paddock. Nyah, are you up to this?
-I managed.
-I want <i>you out of there.</i>
-Nyah, you've done more than enough. Even the best of snake charmers get bit.
-I want you out of Australia! ..I don't know how much more plainly I can put it.
-How do you suggest I go about it?
-Easy, easy, easy, shhh!
-Are you okay?
-I am now. Get me out of here. Just get me out of here.
-Ethan, you know what frightens me most when I'm with him?..the thought of never seeing you..how are we getting out of here?
-Nyah, it's very important not do anything to alarm Ambrose..
-What? You told me to get out of here. I thought you were here to collect me. I was so relieved.
-What did you think you were doing!
-- you who don't have a conscience.
-I guess I lied..You can't get both of us out of here, can you?
-No.
-Then you'll have to kill me before it's too late. Before I start killing people.
-No.
-No. Should I?
-No. You just looked as if you did.
-Sorry I didn't let you know where I was.
-Don't be. Wouldn't be on vacation if you did.
-Well. You're sorry and I'm sorry.
-Why did you phrase it like that?
-Like what?
-'You're sorry and I'm sorry.'
-An idea, yeah.
-Like?
-Like it's a good idea to pick him up in a hurry. And a bad idea to fly him on a commercial carrier. So let's get on with it. He's still in Sydney?
-If he didn't want to go anywhere without me, how did you get him on the flight?
-When I couldn't find you, I had to replace you. Sean Ambrose was the obvious choice. He double you, what? Two, three times?
-Twice.
-What did you think of him?
-You know we had reservations about each other. Isn't it a little late in the day to be asking me that?
-So there's one thing we know Ambrose doesn't.
-Whatever Nekhorvich was carrying Sean wanted and he wanted to conceal the fact that he took it.
-Sean feels he hasn't done the job unless he leaves a lot of hats on the ground.
-Right now only Ambrose knows that.
-In any case, you've got to recover Chimera and bring it to us.
-In order to do that, I've got to figure out how he plans to make money with it.
-- right. In fact since the plane went down our banking sources have confirmed a marked increase in the stock pilling of cash in terrorists accounts.
-'Terrorists?'
-Well you know Nekhorvich's history. You're the one who got him out of the Soviet Union was it still in bio- weapon business.
-If that's what you're thinking Ambrose would have set up a bidding situation with any number of buyers before he got on the plane. Locating him in time to stop something like that -
-- is where Miss Hall comes in.
-Excuse me?
-Miss Hall and Ambrose had a relationship which he took very seriously. She walked away and he's wanting her back ever since. We believe she's our surest and quickest way of location him.
-And then what?
-Then makes sure she continues to see him. Gets him confide in her and report to you.
-You made it sound as if I was recruiting her for her skills as a thief.
-Well, then I mislead you. Or you made the wrong assumption. Either way we're asking her to resume a prior relationship, not do anything she hasn't already done.
-She's got no training for this kind of thing.
-I don't think I can get her to do it.
-You mean it'll be difficult.
-Very.
-Not yet. We did manage to pull any sensitive equipment and material out of our safehouse wreckage.
-We could lock down passport control and all ports of authority, but that won't stop Ambrose, and beyond him, we don't know who else we're looking for -- all terrorist bank accounts of which we're aware are stable. No deposits, no withdrawals. Therefore no suspects.
-We think we've got our finger on the buyer.
-Do you? Even assuming you're able to prevent Ambrose selling Chimera, you've now got an additional problem. You destroyed all of Chimera at Biocyte. If Ambrose is going to sell Chimera now, he'll have to do it by taking a pint or so of Miss Hall's blood to market.
-Yes, I believe that's right.
-But that leaves another seven or eight pints of Chimera.
-You mean that leaves Miss Hall.
-- good. Then if you manage to get hold of Ambrose, and obtain what he's got, you've got - - 8 hours 57 minutes and twenty-three seconds to destroy the largest remaining source of Chimera on earth.
-She sacrificed herself..
-Something else?
-Aren't you even curious? About why she did it?
-Sorry, Ethan. I don't quite know where to begin. Any suggestions?
-You'd like me to conduct my own debriefing.
-Why not? You've done just about everything else on this operation.
-I'd thank you -- but I'm not sure that was a compliment.
-Of course it was. Anyone whose operations requires the level of disinformation that yours do, is bound to get a little flak here and there. You try flogging the stories on CNN I've had to come up with about what's been going on around here the last few days. At any rate, it's been most instructive -- what they'll swallow, or what they'll broadcast
-Yes, I gathered as much.
-And the only other remaining sample was in the canister you recover from Ambrose.
-Yes.
-And that appears to have been destroyed. It also contained the anti-virus, Bellerophon.
-Well, Bellerophon, it turns out, was only really effective against Chimera.
-But you were under specific instructions to bring back a living sample of the Chimera virus. I'd be very interested to know how, after you'd managed its recovery intact, it subsequently got destroyed.
-No, I don't. But in this case -
-In this case, it wasn't a bad idea. In face, it was a pretty damn good idea. Just don't make a habit of it. And, as for Ms. Hall, in light of her efforts, her criminal records will certainly be expunged. I'm assuming you approve.
-I do.
-Where is she now, by the way? Do you know?
-I don't. No exactly.
-Well, Hunt, what are your plans?
-Not sure. Some sort of vacation. I'll let you know where I'm going.
-You keep staring at that watch as if your life depended on it, Doctor..
-Well, yes. I suppose I am a bit anxious.
-They're ready and waiting. You'll soon be with old friends.
-I'm with an old friend now, Dmitri.
-Sorry it couldn't be under happier circumstances.
-He was quite a man. Did he know before the end you two had succeeded?
-Yes, he knew. Just..
-..not in time to save him.
-..it seems we have a problem, Dmitri.
-..I'm fine..and you?
-It's the transponder.
-Put in the coordinates and let's get a visual. The visuals aren't coming up.
-Nekhorvich specialized in recombining DNA molecules. In the myth, Bellerophon killed Chimera, a recombinant monster with the head of a lion and the tail of a serpent who plagued the ancient world. I think Nekhorvich has created a monster virus in Chimera and apparently the means to kill it in Bellerophon.
-That simple, huh?
-Luther..get us everything you can on the outbreak of influenza on Bruny Island last month, including photos of the victims.
-Nekhorvich's boss?
-Ambrose just pulled the memory card out of the digital camera and put it into an envelope, put it in his inner left jacket pocket...
-Left jacket pocket?
-Roger that.
-Confirm. Left jacket pocket.
-Left jacket pocket confirmed.
-I don't know, but Nekhorvich was not a manic. Get me a twenty on Nyah.
-She must still be on the property.
-Ambrose got Bellerophon from Nekhorvich on the plane, but he didn't get the Chimera virus.
-Yeah. Why else would he come back to Australia? If he had them both, he could sell them anywhere.
-I kill Chimera at Biocyte and he's sitting on a cure without a disease.
-Sorry, that it a Biocyte facility, their storage structure..
-Let's start from the inside out.
-Now how to get in there.
-Thirty-second opening in the roof and a 250-foot drop.
-Luther, I'm looking at security.
-Ethan, I keep telling you there's not a chance of locating Nyah til I access the satellite and there's not a chance of doing that til I get this thing booted up and running! How much time does she have left?
-Luther, say again.
-She's on the North Head Bluff - approaching the cliffs. One klick away.
-So what did he say?
-A visit from an old friend.
-What's happening here? You're dead!
-Fatigued, certainly. But dead is a little extreme. On the other hand, when me dear Gradski had your pulse and blood pressure he has less than ten hours to live.
-It was in the bloody papers, on the telly..what's this about Gradski?
-You have Bellerophon.
-Do I?
-You took it! All of it! And what if I need it?
-'If?' My, my, my...the five hundred people on Bruny Island that you deliberately infected with <i>Chimera</i> needed it as well.
-Oh, please! How was I to know they had to be treated with Bellerophon within twenty hours?
-By asking me.
-You still don't get it, do you? You want to make an omelet, you break a few eggs - <i>I needed to know just how bad the disease was</i> - in the real world, not the lab. And you never know til you try. You thought you were genetically splicing together strains of influenza to create a cure for all influenzas. But I saw
-You wanted the disease in order to peddle the cure.
-Well, the thought had occurred to me. I needed Chimera in order to peddle Bellerophon. For hero to be appreciated, you need a monster. Now that's not so difficult to understand, is it? Look, time was a shot of penicillin could knock off every bloody bug in the zoo! Not anymore!..have you any idea the R&D money it takes to float one little pissy
-Kasimov, Kasimov, good that you called us.
-C'mon, c'mon, tell the truth...c'mon.
-You asked for my help. You <u>asked</u> for <u>my</u> help...come on...
-Come on!
-His name is.....Dimitri Miediev.
-To friends.
-The man's gone black, Barnes. He's under until he decides to surface.
-Look we can use someone from the Embassy and we can get the local authorities involved. Close off his transportation.
-What can we do, Barnes? Put a guy at the airport? How many identities do you think Hunt has? How many times has he slipped past custom, in how many countries? These guys are trained to be ghosts. <u>We</u> taught them how to do it, for Christ's sake!
-So what do you suggest?
-That's S.O.P..
-<u>Think</u>, for Christ's sake, you guys are mired in detail, open your minds, it's gotta be staring us in the face! What does Ethan Hunt <u>want</u>?!
-Same thing he wanted in Prague! Same thing he's always wanted! The NOC list!
-You and I know about this -- and that's where it stops. Understand? It never happened.
-Only four more cars.
-And if we donít find him - weíll search the whole train again.
-Whatís Hunt doing on the TGV?
-High speed train. No-one gets on. No- one gets off. High security. Good place for a pass off to Max.
-But why tell us?
-Heís putting on a show, Barnes.
-What kind of show.
-Nothing but civilians, Gene.
-This is bullshit - we donít even know what Max looks like.
-Maybe we donít have to know what he looks like. If heís got that list, heís going to want to check it. We should be looking for laptops.
-You knew about Jim?
-Two minutes til Krieger shows. Thisíll have to be quicker than Iíd like. Certainly quicker than youíd like.
-Ethan, if you knew about Jim?..Why..
-Well Claire do you? Have you been exploiting his feelings or returning them?
-Satisfied?
-All ten million.
-Donít Jim.
-Now we donít have to eliminate him? You like that, donít you Claire? Donít you?
-Is he serious?
-Always.
-Krieger can get it. Right?
-I don't think you're in any position to give orders, do you? Not while I'm holding this.
-Krieger.
-Did we get it?
-We got it. On your feet.
-I want to sleep. Can I sleep here.
-Walk, just walk. Start walking.
-I'm walking.
-Talking's good, walking's better.
-Are <u>you</u> all right Ethan. What's wrong with you?
-If you're gonna do this again Claire, It's not gonna be on my watch.
-Sarah's reconsidering. Claire, transport in five minutes.
-Ethan -- Ethan, it's okay. It's Claire. Ethan what's wrong with you?
-You were in the car!
-I wasn't. I heard that Jim was in trouble on the radio. He said someone was...
-Shut up! I saw you. You were in the car.
-No, I got out of the car and I ran to the bridge.
-Don't give me that! I was on the bridge.
-What happened to Jim?
-There was nobody on the bridge.
-They're dead. Jim's dead.
-Take off your coat.
-What?
-Where were you?
-I walked away. He said abort. He was gone so I walked away.
-That was four hours ago! Who sent you? Did they send you here?
-Who is "they?"
-Did they send you...Did they send you?
-Who sent you?! Who sent you?
-Why haven't they brought us in yet?
-What are you going to do?
-I'm going to get it for him. Whoever the mole is, I think goes by the name of Job, at least part of the time. 1 can't find him, but if he knows 1 have the NOC list, he'll find me.
-Ethan, you're not making sense. Let me go in and talk to Kittridge. I'm going to tell him you had nothing to do...
-The message is for Job.
-Max made a deal with you?
-I deliver the NOC list, Max delivers Job.
-We've got seventy-five rounds for your Glock 9, but only twenty for the Sig Sauer, one pair of Visco glasses with monitor, plenty of passports. You said it yourself -- if I'm not dead, I'm with you.
-You're sure about this?
-Jim was my husband. I want to know who killed him. I want to get the son of a bitch who did this.
-We need help, and we don't have time. They have to be local.
-May I come in?
-It's cash. And a second passport. If anything goes wrong when we're inside, if you sense even the slightest deviation don't look over your shoulder, you walk away - you hear me? Just walk away.
-You don't think we're going to make it.
-I didn't say that.
-You didn't have to.........
-I just need you to be safe.
-What about you?
-I'm so sorry. Krieger was my call. I've never worked with him. I'm sorry, Ethan.
-We did what we had to do.
-Kittridge...
-What are you going to do?
-What happened?
-I sent the message to Max. Weíre on for tomorrow.
-Okay...
-Is this the only way?
-Ethan...Kittridge is on the train.
-Kittridge is Job. Max delivered. How far is he from Luther?
-Two cars. Where are you?
-Ethanís right behind me. Listen to me Jim. Is it such a good idea to kill him? We take the money. Ethan takes the blame. No-one else has seen you alive. No-one will believe him.
-Of course - Iím sorry to hear you say that Claire.
-Claire...Hey...
-This stuff is so sticky.
-Claire.
-Itís all right, Ethan..youíll bring me back...wonít you...
-This is Kittridge.
-Go ahead.
-Theyíre dead.
-Whoís dead?
-My team. Claire, Jack, even Jim - - Hannah, maybe, I -- donít know
-Are you damaged?
-They knew we were coming. Golitsynís dead too. The disk is gone.
-<u>Are you intact</u>?
-Do you read me? <u>The list is in the open</u>!
-I donít think so.
-Donít <u>think</u>, be <u>sure</u>. Are you clean?
-Yes.
-Location green. One hour. Iíll be there myself.
-Youíre in Prague?
-Heard a lot about you, Hunt. Donít disappoint me.
-No sir.
-I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know how much Jim in particular meant to you, Ethan. Personally as well as professionally.
-Passport, visas - you know the drill. We'll work the exfiltration thru Canada, debrief you at Langley. Throw the Prague police a bone, you know toss them a few suspects. Follow me?
-Yeah. I follow you.
-We've lost enough agents for one night.
-You seem hell bent on blaming yourself, Ethan.
-Who else is left?
-Yes. I see your point.
-Why was there another team?
-What?
-Of IMF agents. At the Embassy. Tonight.
-I don't quite follow you.
-Let's see if you can follow me around this room. The drunk Russians on the embankment at 7 and 8 o'clock...The couple waltzing around me at the Embassy at 9 and 11. The waiter behind Hannah at the top of the staircase - Bowtie, 12 o'clock. The other IMF team. You're worried about me. <u>Why</u>?
-For a little over two years now we've been spotting serious blowback in IMF operations. We have a penetration. The other day we decoded a message on the Internet from a Czech we know as "Max."
-The arms dealer.
-That's right. Max, it seems, has two unique gifts -- a capacity for anonymity and for corrupting susceptible agents. This time he's gotten to someone on the inside - he's put himself in a position to buy our NOC list. An operation he referred to as "Job 314". The job he thought Golitsyn was doing tonight.
-But the list Golitsyn stole was a decoy.
-Correct the actual list is safe at Langley. "Golitsyn" was a lightning rod, one of ours.
-This whole operation was a molehunt.
-Since your father's death, your family's farm has been in sub-chapter S and now, suddenly, they're flush with over a hundred and twenty grand in the bank. Dad's illness was supposed to have wiped out the bank account -- dying slowly in America after all, can be a very expensive proposition Ethan. So, why don't we go quietly out of here onto the plane...
-How about if we just go quietly into the bathroom and I wash your mouth out with soap - you pathetic button down bureaucratic asshole.
-Ethan, I can understand you're very upset.
-Kittridge.
-I see you've been out visiting the folks.
-Can I ask you something, Kittridge?
-Certainly Ethan.
-If you're dealing with someone who's crushed, stabbed, shot and detonated five members of his own IMF team, how devastated do you think you're going to make him by marching Ma and Uncle Donald down to the county courthouse?
-What are we downloading?
-Information.
-What kind?
-This doesn't sound like the Luther Stickell I've heard of. What'd they used to call you? The Net Ranger? Phineas Phreak? The only man alive who actually hacked NATO Ghostcom.
-There was never any physical evidence that I had anything to do with that.. that.. With that exceptional piece of work.
-You don't know what you're missing. This is the Mt. Everest of hacks.
-May take a little time. That's not what Claire tells me about you.
-And I get to keep the equipment when we're done.
-Luther, I guess you're all out of excuses.
-I can't just hack my way inside. There's no modem access to the mainframe, it's in a stand-alone. I'd have to be physically at the terminal.
-Krieger <u>did</u> have the NOC list.
-Now I want you to hold onto it.
-What makes you trust me?
-Because if you knew what you were getting into, you never would have done it.
-I'm not letting this list get out in the open.
-Exactly, that's your job. Tomorrow on the train, you can't let this list get out into the open. What's the range of this thing?
-It's hard to tell. I'm gonna have to be close.
-Reach your folks? How they feeling?
-About what?
-The official apology from the Justice Department, the VIP treatment, you know, the whole nine yards.
-Here's to you, Luther. To being off the disavowed list.
-Hey, I'm the flavour of the month!
-You're more than that, Luther. They were mistaken about you and they're trying to show you they know it. They want you back in.
-Sure. They want me back in so I won't break in! They <i>still</i> can't figure out how we did it.
-You didn't tell 'em at the debriefing?
-I figured I'd let 'em reinstate my back pay, give me a promotion, check out my office at Langley and <i>then</i>, maybe, talk about it.
-It's all one big negotiation, isn't it?
-Why don't you come back with me?
-Just don't know why I'd be doing it.
-You really liked Phelps, didn't you?
-He was a good guy for a long, long time. Just - not long enough. Gotta catch my flight.. So. How's it feel being a solid citizen again?
-Oh man...I don't know. I'm gonna miss being disreputable.
-Who are you and what are you doing here?
-I need one hundred thousand dollars.
-Really? And you thought if you simply showed up I might give it to you?
-Why not? You gave Job a hundred and twenty five thousand.
-The penny drops. <u>You</u> are <u>not</u> Job. Yes, Job is not given to quoting Scripture in his communications. And there was its tone -- aggressive but playful. Job is not playful. So you're something of a paradox.
-That depends.
-On what?
-Whether you like a paradox. I want a hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
-It's quite out of the question.
-The disk Job sold you is worthless. It's bait, part of an internal molehunt.
-And how might you know that? Are you another Company man?
-Like Job?
-Ah, but, we're asking about you.
-I'm NOC. Was. <u>Now</u> disavowed.
-Why, may I ask?
-That's the question I want to ask Job.
-I don't know Job any more than he knows me.
-Even so, I'm sure you could arrange an introduction.
-Why should I?
-Because I can deliver the actual NOC list. The one you have is not only worthless, it's certain to be equipped with a homing device to pinpoint your exact location.
-It's easy to say the disk is worthless when you say I can't look at the information and <u>see</u> if it's worthless. Not a tenable position, sir.
-Okay, boot it up and in anywhere from thirty seconds to ten minutes you're gonna have Virginia farm boys hopping around you like jackrabbits.
-Mm - Hmmm...
-Tell you what. How good's the RF scanner you used in the car?
-Very good.
-Thanks, Max. Or is it Maxine?
-I don't have to tell you what a comfort anonymity can be in my profession -- like a warm blanket. My deal with Job was subject to a successful boot scan. Obviously it didn't pass muster. Deal's off.
-What was your deal with Job?
-Six million dollars. I'll give you the same. But I want the complete list now, not just Eastern Europe. I won't do this piecemeal, it's too dangerous. I want the <u>entire</u> list, the true name of every non-official cover agent throughout the world.
-<u>Ten</u> million. Ten million in negotiable U.S. Treasury certificates, in bearer form, coupons attached. And one more thing -- your personal assurance that Job will be at the exchange.
-Done. Bring it to me in London. I want it by the end of the week.
-How will you make sure Job will be there?
-How will you make sure I'll have the list in three days? It's been a delight. Now where can I drop you dear boy?
-I'm going to have to front you personally. Don't lose that money without losing your life.
-Ha, dear boy! I do hope this doesnít prelude a meeting in private.
-It doesnít, dear girl. as long as you tell me where the money is.
-The possibility alone is worth ten million. Baggage car, rack 3. Silver briefcase. Combination 314.
-What about Job?
-What sector's the air conditioning?
-Uh -- twenty-one, but there's no alarm in sector twenty-one.
-I gotta go in there and shut it down!
-Nobody goes into any sector where the alarm didn't go off.
-Wait! Hold it - it's on. Let's go.
-Simple game. Four players. Exfil opens the pocket -- -- cyber ops lifts the wallet.
-Bank?
-IMF mainframe.
-Where exactly is it?
-Zero body count.
-We'll see.
-Merci.
-You're not going to any meeting without me.
-That's not it. That's not the list.
-Claire.
-IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR REASON WE'RE NOT OUT OF HERE YET?!
-Sorry, am I interrupting?
-Give me the God damn gum.
-Jack. Jack.
-He's got it. Saved your ass again Jack.
-In position. Jack open the door, let the package roll.
-Roger that. Opening doors now.
-Higher. Higher.
-Higher.
-OK. Taking Golitsyn's exit. Jack, open the doors.
-The package is in the open.
-Ethan. Heís out of pocket.
-Sarah eye on the package. Jim, Iím coming to you.
-Jim gave an abort, we should walk away.
-Would you remove your hat please?
-Why?
-I thought I was going to see Max.
-You misunderstood. No one sees Max.
-Then what am I doing here?
-Allowing Max to see you and hear what you've got to say.
-I don't communicate very well through a shroud.
-If Max doesn't like what you have to say, you'll be wearing that shroud indefinitely.
-I'm willing to take the chance.
-Forty-four. Forty-five.
-Yeah, well, Jim, fact is I've got more than ninety days leave coming.
-A hundred and sixty-seven, I think it is. Take it all, if you want. <u>After</u> this one.
-I thought I'd take some now.
-What the hell's made you decide to take your leave at the worst possible time? Claire's in a weird mood too.
-Oh? What's the problem?
-I don't know, I had to go to Chicago again. You were in Kiev. You tell me.
-Tell you what?
-When you started noticing your short term memory loss. What <u>the problem was</u> you and Claire had in Kiev?
-What problem?
-Ah, God, forget it. What are we talking burnout here?
-I guess.
-Ethan, you <u>can't</u> burn out.
-Why not?
-How was Chicago?
-You're going to use Walter?
-He's our guy.
-Isn't he chairing the Armed Services hearing?
-Not this week. This week he's flyfishing at the Oughterard Slough in County Kildare, with one of our best Irish guides.
-He won't be back in a hurry?
-No, not in a hurry. What do you think? You think the plot'll work?
-Sure. If the main character does.
-Jack's pinned down Sarah. Should be a second. Keep dancing.
-Iíve got a shadow.
-Can you lose him?
-Abort. Thatís an order.
-Where are you?
-About two hundred yards from the bridge.
-..the next day I managed to drag myself to the safe house, must've just missed you..anyway, I checked our aliases.
-- and picked us up in the States -
-- but you left before I could get there and I could check just so many places..
-Yeah, smaller countries don't computerize customs records -
-- so I watched Europe. Once you showed up in England..it was easy.
-You knew I liked the rentals at Liverpool Street.
-Hey, I showed 'em to you!
-Jim, who do you think you're kidding? A doctor's gotta look at that. You can't sit up straight.
-Kitteridge. Oh my god! Kittridge is the mole?
-Yeah.
-..when you think about it, Ethan, it was inevitable..no more Cold War. No more secrets you keep from everyone but yourself, operations you answer to no one but yourself. Then one morning you wake up and find out the President of the United States is running the country - <i>without your permission</i>. The son-of-a- bitch! How <i>dare</i> he? You realize itís over, youíre an
-We donít have to, Jim. Heíll come after us.
-Whatís going to make him do that?
-What he didnít get in Prague. The NOC list.
-Jesus, Ethan. Good for you.
-A meeting tomorrow on the TGV, enroute to Paris.
-Tight security. No guns. Real plus.
-Jim...?
-- no. She canít know about me. No one can. Not til this is over. Thereís too much at stake, Ethan.
-Youíre probably right.
-I usually am.
-Once we leave the safehouse, get in there and crash. Iíll call you from Paris.
-You got it.
-And get a doctor.
-Before London. But after you took the Bible out of the Drake Hotel in Chicago.
-I knew about Jim.
-Tell me something Claire, that night in Prague, was it you or Jim that blew up the car and scattered Hannah all over town?
-Arenít you going to thank me Jim. Ten million is better than six.
-Sorry Ethan. Times up. Say goodbye.
-Jim, itís over.
-Look to your right, then back to me. There's a camera built right into the bridge. Whatever you see it sees and transmits it back here. Can you hear me?
-Of course I can hear you.
-No, in your...ear piece. You have a lovely smile . Can you hear me now?
-Loud and clear.
-What's going on?
-I don't know.
-Why don't you take a look?
-Jack...that's spying.
-That's what we do isn't it?
-Jack you're so wicked.
-Too wicked to have a drink later?
-Such a nice ass.
-Twenty-six, twenty-seven. So far so good.
-Thirty-two and change.
-How long until we reach the Chunnel?
-Yes... Itís him.
-Whatís the problem.
-Connection denied.
-Try it again.
-Itís not working.
-Is something wrong with the phone? Well is something wrong with the batteries?
-I always check the batteries.
-Itís working.
-Oh, you're not going. You're staying.
-No, I'm going.
-The Shawfish?
-Just across the bay, at the fuel depot. The men wanted to try to get home. I can't explain.
-Then, I suppose the time has come say it's been nice Dwight Lionel. It's been everything. Oh, Dwight, I'm frightened.
-Are you ready?
-Hello, Bobo. How are you tonight?
-Very good, Mr. Johnny.
-We will both have the Salad Ticino.
-Uh-huh
-No, I want to see the dessert cart.
-I forgot to bring the champagne, Mr. Johnny.
-Who's dead?
-Nobody. Loretta is getting married.
-I don't like him.
-I have no money!
-I won't pay for nothing.
-I don't wanna talk about it.
-Well, what do you wanna talk about!
-Rita. Pass the wine.
-Where you been?
-Cosmo?
-What?
-I just want you to know. No matter what you do. You are going to die, just like everybody else.
-Thank you, Rose.
-You're welcome.
-Cosmo, this is Ronny, Johnny's brother.
-Have I been a good wife?
-Yes.
-Okay.
-And go to confession.
-A man... under stands one day... that his life is built on nothing. And that's a bad, crazy day.
-I don't wanna talk about it.
-Johnny Cammareri. I think it's great and about time. What's she gonna do with the rest of her life she don't get married?
-Rose, pass the wine.
-I never seen anybody so in love like Cosmo back then! He'd stand outside the house all day and look in the windows. I never told you this cause it's not really a story. But one time I woke up in the middle of the night cause this bright light was in my face. Like a flashlight. I couldn't think a what it was.
-You were altogether asleep. You were dreaming.
-Hi. Hi.
-I have my eyes open.
-You do, huh? Stick around. Don't go on any long trips.
-I don't know what you mean.
-I know you don't. That's the point. I'll say no more.
-You haven't said anything.
-Where's Ma?
-Bed.
-You're not sleepy?
-I can't sleep anymore. It's too much like death.
-Here. Ti amo.
-Ti amo.
-You look tired.
-What's your news?
-I'm getting married.
-Again?
-Yeah.
-You did this once it didn't work out.
-The guy died.
-What killed him?
-He got hit by a bus.
-No! Bad luck! Your Ma and I been married fifty-two years an nobody died. You were married, what, two years, and somebody is dead. Don't get married again, Loretta. It don't work out for you. Who's the man?
-Johnny Cammareri.
-Him? He's a big baby. Why isn't he here with you telling me?
-He's flying to Sicily. His mother's dying.
-More Bad Luck! I don't like his face, Loretta. I don't like his lips. When he smiles I can't see his teeth. When will you do it?
-In a month.
-I won't come.
-You've got to come. You've got to give me away.
-I didn't give you away the first time.
-And maybe that's why I had the Bad Luck. Maybe if you gave me away, and I got married in a church, in a wedding dress, instead of at the City Hall with strangers standing outside the door, maybe then I wouldn't had the Bad Luck I had.
-Maybe.
-I didn't have no wedding cake, no reception or nothing. Johnny got down on his knees and proposed to me at The Grand Ticino.
-He did?
-Yeah.
-Here.
-It looks stupid. It's a pinky ring. It's a man's ring.
-It's temporary.
-Everything is temporary. That don't excuse nothing.
-So you'll come to the wedding, right?
-Mona?
-What'd you do to your hair?
-I got it done.
-What are you doing here?
-What are you doing here?
-Who is this man? You're engaged!
-You're married.
-You're my daughter. I won't have you acting like a tramp!
-You're my father.
-Alright. I didn't see you here.
-And then there is copper, which is the only pipe I use. It costs money. But it costs money because it saves money.
-And what did they say?
-The man understood me. The woman wanted to be cheap, but the man saw that I was right.
-You have such a head for knowing. You know everything.
-Oh, Cosmo!
-You haven't once said you like my dress.
-Why you looking around so much?
-I don't know. I got a feeling.
-It's wrong to just let them go.
-What do you want me to do? Pick up after five dogs? I'm eighty-three years old. God in his heaven understands that I cannot pick up after five dogs.
-I won't have to shoot those dogs. They will kill each other.
-At dinner, my daughter-in-law threatened to kill me. Things are very bad in my house.
-We're supposed to do fifty apples. We only got twelve done.
-Yes!
-Yeah, this is Ronny.
-Why didn't he call himself?
-He's in Palermo.
-What's wrong can never be made right.
-Have you come from my brother?
-Yes.
-Why?
-I'm going to marry him.
-You are going to marry my brother?
-Yes. Do you want...
-I have no life.
-Excuse me.
-I have no life. My brother Johnny took my life from me.
-Gimme the big knife! I'm gonna cut my throat!
-Maybe I should come back another time.
-It's wood. It's fake. Five years ago I was engaged to be married. Johnny came in here, he ordered bread from me. I put it in the slicer and I talked with him and my hand got caught cause I wasn't paying attention. The slicer chewed off my hand. It's funny 'cause - when my fiancé saw that I was maimed, she left me
-That's the bad blood between you and Johnny?
-That's it.
-But that wasn't Johnny's fault.
-Loretta. What's that smell?
-I'm making you a steak.
-You don't have to help me.
-I know that. I do what I want.
-I like it well done.
-This is good. Uhh...
-Loretta.
-Where'd Johnny find you?
-He knew my husband who died.
-How'd he die?
-Bus hit him.
-Fast.
-Instantaneous.
-When you get engaged?
-Why?
-Why what?
-I don't know.
-So. Five years ago your hand got cut off and your woman left you for another man. No woman since then?
-No.
-Stupid.
-When your husband get hit by the bus?
-Seven years ago.
-How many men since then?
-Just Johnny.
-Stupid yourself.
-No. Unlucky. I have not been lucky.
-I don't care about Luck, you understand me? It ain't that.
-What? Do you think you're the only one ever shed a tear?
-Why you talking to me?
-She was right to leave me.
-You think so?
-Yes.
-You don't know nothing about it.
-I was raised that a girl gets married young. I didn't get married until I was twenty-eight. I met a man. I loved him. I married him. He wanted to have a baby right away. I said no. Then he got hit by a bus. No man. No baby. No nothing! I did not know that man was a gift I could not keep.
-I'm a wolf?
-The big part of you has no words and it's-a wolf. This woman was a trap for you. She caught you and you could not get away. So you chewed off your foot! That was the price you had to pay to be free. Johnny had nothing to do with it. You did what you had to do, between you and you, and I
-What are you doing!
-I'm telling you your life!
-Stop it!
-No!
-Why are you marrying Johnny? He's a fool!
-Because I have no Luck!
-He made me look the wrong way and I cut off my hand. He could make you look the wrong way and you could cut off your whole head!
-I am looking where I should to become a bride!
-A bride without a head!
-Son of a bitch!
-Where are you taking me?
-To the bed.
-I can't believe what is happening.
-Me neither.
-I was dead.
-Your blood.
-All my life I have never reached a man. I knew that I would reach my husband, but I took my time and he was dead. Ronny.
-Loretta.
-I want to cut you open and crawl inside of you. I want you to swallow me.
-I've got you.
-Get all of me. Take everything.
-What about Johnny?
-You're mad at him, take it out on me, take your revenge on me! Take everything, leave nothing for him to marry! Hollow me out so there's nothing left but the skin over my bones. Suck me dry!
-What?
-That light.
-It's so bright.
-I've never seen a moon like that.
-Oh my God.
-What? What have we done?
-Take it easy.
-This time I was trying to do everything right.
-Don't just become excited.
-I thought if I stayed away from the City Hall, I won't have that Bad Luck I had again.
-You're trying to make me feel guilty.
-I'm marrying your brother!
-All right, I'm guilty. I confess!
-You're invited to the wedding! It's in a few weeks. Why didn't you do like him and be with your dying mother in Palermo?
-She didn't like me.
-You don't get along with anybody!
-What did you do?
-What did I do?
-You ruined my life.
-That's impossible! It was ruint when I got here! You ruint my life!
-Oh yes, oh yes you did! You've got those bad eyes like a gypsy! Why didn't I see it yesterday! Bad Luck! Is that all I'm ever gonna have? Why didn't I just pick up a stone and kill myself years and years ago? I'm gonna marry him!
-What?
-Last night never happened, you hear me? I'm gonna marry him anyway and last night never happened, and you and I are gonna take this to our coffins!
-I can't do that!
-Why not?
-Snap out of it!
-I can't!
-Alright. Then I must never see you again. The bad blood will have to stay there between you and Johnny for all time. You won't come to the wedding.
-I'll come to the wedding.
-I'm telling you you can't.
-But he wants me to come!
-But that's cause he don't know!
-Alright. I will not come. Provided one thing.
-What?
-That you come with me tonight. Once. To the Opera.
-What are you talking about?
-I love two things. I love you, and I love the Opera. If I can have the two things that I love together for one night, I will be satisfied to give up the rest of my life.
-Alright.
-Alright. Meet me at the Met.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-You look beautiful. Your hair...
-I thought I'd try it. You look good.
-Who painted that?
-Marc Chagall. A Russian.
-Kinda gaudy.
-Thank you!
-For what?
-So. Where are we sitting?
-They get some turnout for this stuff.
-It's the best thing there is.
-That was just so... awful!
-Awful?
-Beautiful. Sad. She died!
-Yeah.
-No thanks.
-What do you want to do now?
-It's really cold.
-What's the matter?
-How can you ask me that?
-You're making me feel guilty again.
-You are guilty. I'm guilty.
-Of what? Only God can point the finger, Loretta.
-I know what I know.
-And what do you know? You tell me my life? I'll tell you yours. I'm a wolf? You run to the wolf in me, that don't make you no lamb! You're gonna marry my brother? Why you wanna sell your life short? Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do. You waited for the right man
-He didn't come!
-I'm here!
-You're late!
-This is your place.
-That's right.
-This is where we're going!
-Yeah.
-I went with you. Now I'm gonna marry Johnny and you're gonna leave me alone. Right? A person can see where they've messed up in their life, and they can change how they do things, and they can change their Luck. Maybe my nature does draw me to you, but I don't haveta go with that. I can take hold of myself and say
-Yeah.
-I'm really afraid.
-Why?
-I'm afraid of who I am.
-I was.
-Why not?
-I don't know. Everything seems like nothing now against that I want you in my bed. I don't care if I burn in hell. I don't care if you burn in hell. The Past and Future is a joke to me now. I see that they're nothing, I see they ain't here. The only thing that's here is you. And me. I want you
-Let me go home.
-No.
-Let me go home.
-No.
-I'm freezing to death.
-Ronny!
-Is Johnny here?
-He's coming.
-You've gotta get outta here.
-No. I'm gonna wait.
-No, I'll tell him.
-What the hell are you talking about? We're engaged.
-Loretta, what are you talking about?
-Loretta?
-What!
-Will you marry me, Loretta Castorini Clark?
-I got things to do.
-Sure you do. You got all that wedding stuff.
-What's the matter? You look crazy.
-Bye, Aunt Rita.
-Bye, bye, honey. See you tomorrow?
-Hi Loretta.
-Is there anything you want to tell us, honey?
-It's Johnny Cammareri.
-You don't want the fish.
-No?
-It's the oily fish tonight. Not before the plane ride.
-Maybe you're right.
-A man who can't control his woman is funny.
-You never have dessert.
-What's the matter?
-Have Something.
-I shouldn't.
-Will you marry me?
-What?
-Will you marry me?
-Are you proposing marriage to me?
-Yes?
-You know I was married and that my husband died. But what you don't know is I think he and I had Bad Luck.
-What do you mean?
-We got married at the City Hall and I think it gave bad luck the whole marriage.
-I don't understand.
-Right from the start we didn't do it right. Could you kneel down?
-On the floor?
-Yes, on the floor.
-This is a good suit.
-I helped you buy it. It came with two pairs of pants. It's for luck, Johnny. When you propose marriage to a woman, you should kneel down.
-I like this ring.
-What time is it?
-Seven-thirty.
-What about the wedding?
-My mother is dying. When she is dead, I'll come back and we'll be married.
-How near is she to death?
-A week. Two weeks. No more.
-Then let's set the date.
-How about a month from today?
-Must it be so definite? Can't we just say that we will be married when I get back?
-Where? At the City Hall? No! I want the whole wedding or we will have Bad Luck. For a whole wedding to be planned, a date must be set.
-Alright. A month. In a month.
-A month from today?
-Yeah.
-I'll call you when I get to Mama's house.
-There's one thing about this wedding I want you to do. Call this number. It's a business number. Ask for Ronny. Invite him to the wedding.
-Who is he?
-He's my younger brother.
-You have a brother?
-We haven't spoken in five years. There was some bad blood. I want you to call him and invite him to the wedding. Will you do it?
-Ssh, it's me. I'm calling from the deathbed of my mother.
-How was your plane ride?
-Have you told her we're getting married?
-I don't know. But Johnny, how did your mother recover? She was dying.
-We should talk alone.
-I can't. I need my family around me now.
-Johnny, I have something to tell you.
-I have something to tell you. But I must talk to you alone.
-I have no secrets from my family.
-Loretta, I can't marry you.
-WHAT?
-And you're a big liar! I've got your ring here!
-In time, you will see that this is the best thing.
-What?
-No.
-Good. When you love them they drive you crazy cause they know they can. But you like him?
-Oh yeah. He's a sweet man. I wanna have a big church wedding, Ma. And a reception.
-And who's gonna pay for that?
-Will you live here?
-No.
-Why not?
-So we'll sell the house.
-Grandma was still alive. Chiro was still home going to school. Now he's married and gone to Florida. If you and Johnny moved in, had a baby...
-I'm thirty-seven years old.
-What's thirty-seven? I had Chiro after I was thirty-seven. It ain't over till it's over.
-Johnny has a big apartment. We'll live there.
-And we'll sell the house.
-I'd like to stay, Ma. I love the house. But Pop don't like Johnny.
-How's the mother?
-She's dying. But I could still hear her big mouth.
-Did he tell her?
-Hi.
-Where you been?
-I don't wanna talk about it.
-Just like your father. I lied to him. He thinks you came home last night.
-Thanks. What's the matter with you?
-Cosmo's cheating on me.
-What! How do you know?
-A wife knows.
-What the hell happened to you?
-Well. I don't really know where to start.
-Your hair's different.
-Everything's different.
-Are you drunk?
-No. Are you drunk?
-No. But I have a hangover.
-Where's pop?
-What? He's in Sicily!
-No more he's not.
-He's with his dying mother!
-She recovered.
-WHAT!! She was dying!
-It was a miracle.
-A miracle? This is modern times! There ain't supposed to be miracles any more!
-Do you love him, Loretta?
-Yeah, Ma, I love him awful.
-Hi.
-Hey there ...YOU WITH THE STARS IN YOUR EYES...
-What about the moon?
-Did you see it?
-No.
-Oh.
-Listen, I gotta go. I'll take the deposit to the bank but I'll do the books tomorrow. I gotta go.
-Hi, Loretta.
-We just come from the bank.
-Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been two months since my last confession.
-What sins have you to confess?
-Twice I took the name of God in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancé, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store -- but that was really an accident.
-Then it was not a sin. But what was that second thing you said, Loretta?
-I... a... slept with my fiancé's brother.
-That's a pretty big sin.
-I know.
-You should think about this.
-I know.
-Alright. This is your penance. Say two rosaries and... be careful, Loretta. Reflect on your life.
-Alright.
-Lucy. There are big things going on in my house. My granddaughter Loretta, the only daughter of my son Cosmo, has engaged herself to be married a second time.
-I have heard that Johnny Cammareri got down on his knees in The Grand Ticino and proposed to her.
-Don't fight.
-My granddaughter wants my son to pay for the wedding. But he does not want to pay.
-He should pay.
-I don't know.
-He owes her a wedding from the first time when there was none.
-Don't fight.
-Don't make yourself sick.
-Cosmo drank five glasses of wine at dinner.
-Talk to him.
-I will. But I must find the right moment.
-Moving in?
-I came right from the airport.
-Can you wake up Loretta? I need to talk to her.
-So.
-Where is she?
-Out. I don't know where. I was waiting up for my husband.
-It's late.
-Maybe I should go?
-What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Palermo.
-That's what I came to tell Loretta. There's been a miracle.
-A miracle. Well, that's news.
-My mother's recovered.
-You're kidding?
-The breath had almost totally left her body. She was as white as snow. And then she completely pulled back from death and stood up and put on her clothes and began to cook for everyone in the house. The mourners. And me. And herself! She ate a meal that would choke a pig!
-That's incredible.
-Who was that?
-That was my father-in-law, who has a wrong idea in his head. Listen, Johnny, there's a question I want to ask you. And I want you to tell me the truth if you can. Why do men chase women?
-Well. There's the Bible story. God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. Maybe men chase women to get the rib back. When God took the rib, he left a hole there, place where there used to be something. and the women have that. Maybe a man isn't complete as a man without a woman.
-But why would a man need more than one woman?
-That's it! That's the reason!
-I don't know.
-He doesn't like you. Thank you for answering my question.
-You don't know where Loretta is?
-No idea.
-Then tell her I'll come by in the morning. We need to talk.
-Loretta...
-Johnny...
-Ronny! Our mother has recovered from death!
-Good.
-Have you come to make peace with me?
-Well. Yeah. You may not want to.
-I'm sure she did.
-Because my mother was dying! But now she's not.
-You're forty-two years old, Johnny, and Mama is still running your life.
-Yes?
-Could you do away with her dinner, and any evidence of her, and bring me an big glass of vodka?
-Can I get another one of these?
-May I presume to ask you a question?
-Sure!
-Do you have a girlfriend?
-When I was twenty-seven years old, in Jersey City, I asked a woman to marry me. She had red hair. She smelled a jasmine. She wore black shoes with pointy white tips.
-What happened?
-Don't mind about me. But could you do me a favor and clear her place and take away all evidence of her, and bring me a big glass of vodka?
-Thanks, comrade.
-I'm sorry if we disturbed you.
-I'm not disturbed. By you.
-My lady friend has a personality disorder.
-Ouch. Too young! I just got that. You know how to hurt guy. How old are you?
-Sorry. That was rude.
-Will you join me for dinner?
-Then I'd be delighted. I hate eating alone, and it's amazing how often I end up doing just that.
-What do you do?
-I'm a professor. I teach communications at N.Y.U.
-That woman was a student of yours?
-Sheila? Yes she was. Is. Was.
-There's old saying my mother told me. Would you like to hear it?
-Yes.
-Don't shit where you eat.
-I'll remember that. What do you do?
-I'm a housewife.
-Then why are you eating alone?
-I'm not eating alone. Can I ask you a question?
-Go ahead.
-Why do men chase women?
-Nerves.
-I think it's because they fear death.
-Maybe. Listen. You wanna know why I chase women? I find women charming.
-I teach these classes I've taught for a million years. The spontaneity went out of it for me a long time ago. I started off, I was excited about something and I wanted to share it. Now it's rote, it's the multiplication table. Except sometimes. Sometimes I'm droning along and I look up, and there's this fresh young beautiful face, and it's all new
-May I walk with you a ways?
-You knew that man?
-Temperature's dropping.
-Yes.
-I guess you can't invite me in?
-No.
-People home.
-No. I think the house is empty. I can't invite you in because I'm married and because I know who I am. You're shaking.
-I'm a little cold.
-You're a little boy and you like to be bad.
-We could go to my apartment. You could see how the other half lives.
-I'm too old for you.
-I'm too old for me. That's my predicament.
-Good night. Can I kiss you on the cheek, too?
-I'm freezing
-That's my house.
-You mean the whole house?
-Yes.
-My God, it's a mansion!
-It's a house.
-I live in a one-bedroom apartment. What exactly does your husband do?
-He's a plumber.
-Cosmo. Many years ago, when they told me you were marrying my sister, I was happy. When I told Rose I was marrying Rita, she was happy.
-Rita. Rita.
-What? What?
-Look.
-Oh.
-It's Cosmo's moon.
-What are you talking about, Raymond? Cosmo can't own the moon.
-I mean it's that moon I was talking about at dinner. Is he down there? No.
-Is who down there?
-Cosmo.
-What would he be doing down there?
-I don't know.
-I feel great I got no sleep but I feel like Orlando Furioso!
-You were a tiger last night.
-And you were a lamb. As soft as milk.
-Shut up. They'll hear you in the back.
-So what? The pleasure of marriage is you sleep with the woman and then you don't worry about nothing. Hey, how about a date tonight, Rita. Let's eat pasta and roll around.
-Raymond, Raymond, lower your voice! What's got into you?
-You got me.
-What are you talking about, you fool? Her fiancé's in Palermo.
-She's got it.
-We didn't know what to think. You were so weird yesterday, and then this morning, we go to the bank and no bag.
-How do you know she is a witch?
-She looks like one. Yes, she does.
-A witch, a witch, burn her!
-Burn her anyway.
-There are? Tell up. What are they, wise Sir Bedevere?
-Tell me ... what do you do with witches?
-Burn them.
-I see. Yes, of course.
-Ah. Yes, of course ... um ... err ...
-Does wood sink in water?
-No, no, It floats. Throw her in the pond Tie weights on her. To the pond.
-Wait. Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water?
-Halt! Who goes there?
-Get away!
-I am... And this my trusty servant, Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join our court at Camelot.. I must speak with your lord and master.
-What? Ridden on a horse?
-Yes!
-You're using coconuts!
-...What?
-You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together.
-So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea.
-Where did you get the coconuts?
-Through ... We found them.
-Found them? In Mercea. The coconut's tropical!
-What do you mean?
-Well, this is a temperate zone.
-The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer hot lands in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
-Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
-Not at all. They could be carried.
-It's not a question of where he grips it, It's a simple matter of weight - ratios ... A five-ounce bird could not hold a a one pound coconut.
-Look! To maintain Velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings four hundred and ninety three times every second. right?
-Please!
-Am I right?
-Where does he live? Old man ... where does he live ...
-He knows of a cave ... a cave which no man has entered.
-There is much danger ... for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril which no man has ever crossed.
-But the Grail ... where is the Grail!?
-Seek you the Bridge of Death ...
-Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here ... Oh! how d'you do?
-How d'you do, good lady ... I am Arthur, King of the Britons ... can you tell me who lives in that castle?
-King of the WHO?
-The Britons.
-Who are the Britons?
-Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in that castle?
-No one live there.
-Well, who is your lord?
-We don't have a lord.
-Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
-I am your king!
-Well, I didn't vote for you.
-You don't vote for kings.
-Well, how did you become king, then?
-The same!
-Who are they?
-Knights Who Say "Ni" ... we are but simple travellers. We seek the Enchanter who lives beyond this wood and who ...
-NI!
-Oh!
-NI! NI!
-Oh!
-We shall say Ni! again to you if you do not appease us.
-All right! What do you want?
-We want ... a shrubbery!
-A what?
-All right! All right! ... No more, please. We will find you a shrubbery ...
-You must return here with a shrubbery or else ... you shall not pass through this wood alive!
-Thanks you, Knights Who Say Ni! You are fair and just. We will return with a shrubbery.
-One that looks nice.
-Of course.
-And not too expensive.
-Yes ...
-Oh, Knights of Ni, here is your shrubbery. May we go now?
-That is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly - But there is one small problem.
-What is that?
-We shall do no such thing ... let us pass!
-Oh, please!
-What word?
-I cannot tell you. Suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Ni! cannot hear!
-How can we not say the word, if you don't tell us what it is?
-You said it again!
-What, "is"?
-None shall pass.
-What?
-None shall pass.
-I have no quarrel with you, brave Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.
-Then you shall die.
-I command you, as King of the Britons to stand aside.
-I move for no man.
-Now stand aside worthy adversary.
-'Tis but a scratch.
-A scratch? Your arm's off.
-No, it isn't.
-Well, what's that then?
-I've had worse.
-You're a liar.
-Victory is mine. I thank thee O Lord that in thy ...
-Come on then.
-You are indeed brave Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
-Had enough?
-You stupid bastard. You havn't got any arms left.
-Course I have.
-Look!
-What! Just a flesh wound.
-Stop that.
-Had enough ... ?
-I'll do you for that.
-You'll what ... ?
-Come Here.
-What are you going to do. bleed on me?
-I'm invincible!
-You're a looney.
-All right, we'll call it a draw.
-Hello.
-'Allo. Whoo is eet?
-I am King Arthur and these are the Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
-This is the castle of of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
-Please go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for this night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
-Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see?
-Are you sure he's got one?
-Oh yes. It's very nice + + CUT TO BATTLEMENTS. THE TAUNTER turns to some others. + + MAN + I told him we already got one. + + They all giggle. +
-Well ... can we come up and have a look?
-Of course not! You are English pigs.
-Well, what are you then?
-Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
-I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
-Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot, and join our number at the Round Table?
-What is your name?
-Bedevere, my Liege.
-And that, my lord, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped.
-This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
-Now what happens?
-Well now, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall and then leap out of the rabbit and take the French by surprise, not only by surprise but totally unarmed!
-Who ... Who breaks out?
-Who are you? TALL KNIGHT We are the Knights Who Say "Ni"!
-Nu!
-No. Ni! More like this. "Ni"!
-Ni, ni, ni!
-| It's not working. You're not doing it properly. Ni!
-Ni!
-Ni!
-They're nervous, sire.
-What with?
-There! Look!
-What?
-What?
-We shall attack at once.
-Who are they?
-What manner of man are you that can conjure up fire without flint or tinder?
-By what name are you known?
-There are some who call me Tim?
-Greetings Tim the Enchanter!
-Greetings King Arthur.
-You know my name?
-I do. You seek the Holy Grail.
-That is our quest. You know much that is hidden O Tim.
-What?
-A G...g...g...
-Look, you're a busy man ...
-... make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail.
-How shall we find this cave, O Tim?
-Too late.
-What?
-Where?
-There.
-Behind the rabbit?
-It is the rabbit.
-... You silly sod.
-What?
-Je...sus Christ!
-Oh, shut up.
-It's always the same ... if I've said it once.
-Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.
-Old woman!
-Man!
-Man. I'm sorry. Old man, What knight live in that castle over there?
-I'm thirty-seven.
-:I'm thirty-seven ... I'm not old.
-Well you could say: "Dennis"
-I didn't know you were called Dennis.
-You didn't bother to find out, did you?
-I've said I'm sorry about the old woman, but from the behind you looked ...
-What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior ...
-Well ... I AM king.
-I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
-Yes.
-... But all the decision of that officer ...
-Yes, I see.
-... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs.
-Be quiet!
-... but a two-thirds majority ...
-You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
-Shut up!
-I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would put me away!
-Shut up, will you. Shut up!
-Ah! NOW ... we see the violence inherent in the system.
-Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed!
-Bloody peasant!
-Oh, Did you hear that! What a give-away.
-Sorry ...
-And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's sorry this and forgive me that and I'm not worthy and ... What are you doing now?
-I'm averting my eyes, Lord.
-Well, don't. | I really don't know where all this got started. It's like those miserable psalms. they're so depressing. Now knock it of
-Yes, Lord.
-Right. Arthur, King of the Britons, you're Knights of the Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times ...
-Good idea, O Lord!
-Well?
-... Well, we did do the nose.
-The nose?
-... Um ... Yes ... no ... a bit ... yes... she has got a wart.
-Make a bridge out of her.
-Exactly. So... logically ...
-If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of wood.
-Nothing... There's your ninepence.
-He will be soon. He's very ill.
-I'm getting better!
-I feel fine.
-I think I'll go for a walk.
-You're not fooling anyone you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
-Who approaches the Bridge of Death Must answer me These questions three! Ere the other side he see.
-Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
-What is your name?
-My name is Sir Launcelot.
-What is your quest?
-To find the Holy Grail.
-What is your favorite colour?
-Blue.
-That's easy!
-Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death Must answer me These questions three! Ere the other side he see!
-Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
-What is your name?
-My name is Sir Robin of Camelot!
-What is your quest?
-To seek the Grail!
-What is the capital of Assyria?
-Bring out your dead!
-Here's one!
-'Ere. He says he's not dead.
-Don't be such a baby.
-I can't.
-Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes. He won't be long.
-I promised I'd be at the Robinson's. They've lost nine today.
-When's your next round?
-Thanks very much.
-Who's that then?
-I dunno, Must be a king.
-Why?
-Well taken, Concorde!
-Thank you, sir, most kind ...
-At last! A call! A cry of distress ... Concorde! Brave, Concorde ... you shall not have died in vain!
-I'm not quite dead, sir ...
-Oh, well ... er brave Concorde! You shall not have been fatally wounded in vain!
-I think I could pull through, sir.
-I think I'll be all right to come with you, sir.
-I will send help, brave friend, as soon as I have accomplished this most daring, desperate adventure in this genre.
-Really, I feel fine, sir.
-Farewell, Concorde!
-Did you kill all those guards?
-Yes ... I'm very sorry ...
-They cost fifty pounds each!
-You killed eight wedding guests in all!
-Er, Well ... the thing is ... I thought your son was a lady.
-Oh dear, I didn't really mean to...
-Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head!
-Gosh - Is he all right?
-You even kicked the bride in the chest! It's going to cost me a fortune!
-I can explain ... I was in the forest ... riding north from Camelot ... when I got this note.
-'Mm ... very nice castle, Camelot ... very good pig country....
-Do you want to come and have a drink?
-It's just that when I'm in this genre, I tend to get over-excited and start to leap around and wave my sword about ... and ...
-One day, lad, all this will be yours ...
-What - the curtains?
-No! Not the curtains, lad ... All that ... all that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys ... as far as the eye can see and beyond ... that'll be your kingdom, lad.
-But, Mother ...
-Father, lad.
-But, Father, I don't really want any of that.
-Listen, lad, I built this kingdom up from nothing. All I had when I started was swamp ... other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same ... just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So I built a another one ... that sank into the swamp. I built another one
-But I don't want any of that, I'd rather ...
-Rather what?
-I'd rather ... just ... sing ...
-I don't want land.
-Listen, Alice ...
-Herbert.
-Herbert ... We built this castle on a bloody swamp, we need all the land we can get.
-But I don't like her.
-Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful ... she's rich ... she's got huge tracts of land ...
-But, Father.
-Who are you?
-I'm ... your son ...
-Hurry, brave Sir Launcelot!
-You fell out of the Tall Tower you creep!
-I was saved at the last minute.
-How?
-Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
-Not ... to leave the room ... even if you come and get him.
-No ... You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
-We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room.
-Leaving the room.
-Leaving the room ... yes.
-Er ... if ... we ... er ...
-Yes?
-If we ... er ...
-Oh, I remember ... can he ... er ... can he leave the room with us?
-No .... keep him in here ... and make sure he doesn't ...
-Oh, yes! we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave and we were with him.
-No ... just keep him in here.
-Until you, or anyone else ...
-No, not anyone else - just me.
-Right.
-Okay. Fine. We'll remain here until you get back.
-And make sure he doesn't leave.
-What?
-Make sure he doesn't leave.
-The Prince ... ?
-Yes ... make sure ...
-Oh yes, of course! I thought you meant him! You know it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard ...
-Where are you going?
-We're coming with you.
-No, I want you to stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room until I get back.
-The Castle Anthrax?
-Yes. It's not a very good name, is it? But we are nice and we shall attend to your every ... every need!
-Er ... + You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
-Well, look er, I ...
-What is your name, handsome knight?
-Er ... Sir Galahad... the Chaste.
-Well Look, I'm afraid I really ought to be ...
-Well ...
-We are just not used to handsome knights ... But you are wounded!
-No, It's nothing!
-Camelot ...
-Sir Galahad!
-Oh ... hello ...
-Quick!
-Why?
-Well, she's got a point.
-We'll cover your escape!
-Come Sir Galahad, quickly!
-We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
-I don't think I was.
-You were, Sir Galahad, You were in terrible peril.
-Look, let me go back in there and face the peril?
-Look, it's my duty as a knight to try and sample as much peril as I can.
-Oh, let me go and have a bit of peril?
-No. It's unhealthy.
-... I Bet you're gay.
-Sir Gawain.
-Well, what seems to be the trouble?
-No look, really, this isn't nescess ...
-We must examine you.
-There's nothing wrong with ... that.
-No, no, this cannot be. I am sworn to chastity!
-Back to your bed! At once!
-Oh, fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot, from the Court of Camelot. I have come to take you ... away ... I'm terribly sorry ...
-You got my note!
-Well ... yes ...
-You've come to rescue me?
-Well ... yes ... but I hadn't realised ...
-I'm ... er ... Sir Launcelot, sir.
-He's come to rescue me, father.
-Hurry!
-When you have found the shrubbery, place the shrubbery here, beside this shrubbery ... only slightly higher, so you get a two-level effect with a path through the middle.
-When you have found the shrubbery, then you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest ... with a herring.
-Oh!
-Stop saying the word!
-They're all saying the word ...
-Stop saying it. AAAArghh! ... I've said it ...
-You tit. I soiled my armour I was so scared!
-| You turd! + Mangy scots git!
-Look. I'm warning you.
-What's he do? Nibble your bum?
-I done it again.
-Er, That's ... That's enough music for a while, lads. It Looks as though like there's dirty work afoot.
-Brave, Sir Rob ...
-He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who ...
-Brave Sir Robin ran away.
-I didn't.
-Bravely ran away, away.
-No, no, no.
-So?
-So, there are rules. Things you do and things you don't do.
-I was just telling the woman how I feel, for God's sake.
-You don't tell Her Majesty how you feel.
-I speak as I find, Archie.
-So what did Ponsonby do when she started shouting?
-How much?
-Seventy a year.
-Not bad, not bad.
-How about yourself?
-Sixty.
-Prince Leopold? Is he the one who bleeds all day? So what does his valet do? Wash his poultices for him?
-It's better than shovelling horse shit.
-If you were looking for promotion, you should have picked one of the healthier ones.
-She's hardly a full hamper herself.
-It's only grief makes her like she is.
-Three years, John. Is that not a bit long to be grieving?
-She loved him.
-Come on, man. There's love and there's ...
-What?
-You know what I mean.
-I'm not sure I do, Archie.
-Which one of us is she flirting with?
-The good-looking one.
-Aye? Then she's obviously not got enough to do.
-One box of biscuits, one box of drop tablets, one box of pralines, sixteen chocolate sponges. It's the same order every week, but does anybody bother to check it? Now she has to travel all the way to Balmoral without the few luxuries she actually enjoys.
-So? Someone'll send it on ahead.
-Aye, but will they?
-John, it's not your problem what she eats.
-She's got an army of people to get her up and out.
-She'll blow hot and cold on you, John, she always does. You want to be careful.
-And she sent no word down?
-They said you were drunk. Why don't you tell her the truth?
-What are you doing?!
-I'm getting dressed.
-You've got three broken ribs, man!
-I've got my duties to attend to.
-Don't be an idiot! You're in no fit state to go anywhere.
-She'll be worried about me.
-She'll get over it.
-I can't let her down now, Archie.
-And when was the last time she put herself out for you? Look, John, whatever she says to you now, in the end you're still a servant.
-Oh, I'm much more than that.
-Aye, she may say that to you, but the woman can say what she wants.
-You watch your tongue.
-Come on, man, I'm telling you what you already know.
-You know nothing about her!
-My lips may give a message better of Christmas love than e'en this letter. To my best friend, J.B. from his best friend, V.R. Best friend!
-Aye.
-She'll drop you. When she's done with you, she'll drop you.
-What's this?
-It's a diary.
-Be careful who sees it.
-You should have someone look after you.
-The place is a mess.
-I can't move to tidy.
-It's what the maids are for.
-Won't you give yourself a rest, John? She's other people to look out for her.
-What's your name?
-Mary Taylor, sir.
-Have I seen you up in Balmoral, Mary?
-I hope to go up next year.
-Checked and locked, sir.
-Louder, girl!
-Checked and locked, sir.
-Hey, Barney.
-Mr Brown, sir --
-Yeah, there's a good girl. Have you had a look at this hoof? She was limping badly. I think there might be a stone in it.
-Yeah, yeah, I did.
-Good man. And is she all right?
-Yeah.
-Good. She's a good girl. Aren't you? Yeah, she's a lovely girl. And you know the Queen's riding tomorrow?
-Yeah.
-Mr Disraeli. Ma'am.
-Your Royal Highness. What a pleasure to see you here.
-Have you met Mr Lyle? He's in sugar...?
-No doubt you've heard the rumors.
-I take no account of gossip, Your Highness.
-My concern is for the reputation of the Monarchy.
-Of course.
-I fear the influence he has on her. The man's word is not to be credited. He is an arriviste of the very lowest water. She's having a bust cast of him. In Nero Marquino marble.
-I see.
-I would talk to her myself, but she won't listen to me. She must be persuaded, by someone she respects, to abandon this ridiculous favoritism before a situation develops.
-A situation?
-I don't imagine you frequent the Republican Clubs. But the fact that neither you nor I are members should not blind us to the significance of their existence. The Tory Party has always been our party.
-I'm flattered you think so.
-I tell you, if we don't stick together on this, you could find yourself First President's Opposition. Du Royaum Uni.
-It's the Queen's decision.
-I wish to see my mother.
-She's busy.
-Convey her a message.
-She's away to Windsor tomorrow. Talk to her there.
-Tell her the Prince of Wales wishes to speak with her urgently about matters concerning the press.
-What did you say?
-I said, are you deaf as well as stupid?
-Do you know who you address, sir?
-Whom you address.
-Well, everyone's entitled to their opinion.
-Gesture?
-I thought, a dinner for our ambassadors perhaps?
-No dinners, Bertie. Why are you dressed for outdoors?
-It's so infernally cold in here.
-Mother....
-If it is inconvenient to Her Majesty, then perhaps she might consider allowing the Prince of Wales to host--
-Surely it is for the gentlemen to decide when to stop...
-It is a disgusting habit, Bertie. It should be discouraged.
-Yes, but isn't midnight a little excessive?
-It is quite late enough.
-But mama, the room was built expressly for that purpose. It has been a smoking-room by tradition ever since father --
-Brown's responsibilities are onerous enough already. He has far too much to do without having to stay up all night waiting for you to go to bed. The smoking-room will be closed and the lights put out at twelve o'clock.
-Mama...
-And that is my last word on the matter.
-Mr. Carter, the Head Butler, sits there.
-Not now he doesn't. This is my place.
-By whose authority?
-The order of seating at the Upper Servant's table is arranged personally by the Queen herself.
-What happens to John Brown is his business, but the Queen's security will never be compromised!
-We --
-Checked and locked, sir.
-Her Majesty's routine at Osborne House is not as you will remember it. The Household remains in full mourning and no-one is permitted to raise their voice under any circumstances whatsoever. As for the Queen's routine, she breakfasts at nine thirty, lunches at two,takes tea at five thirty and dinner at eight forty five. No one is allowed to leave the building while the
-How will I know?
-I'm sorry?
-How will I know what she requires?
-You'll be sent a message.
-Who'll bring it to me?
-Her Highness' Equerry.
-I need a man who knows where I am.
-I'm sure it won't be difficult to find you.
-Then we'll have to see what can be arranged.
-There is to be no communication with other members of the household on matters concerning the court except through myself or one of the Equerries. No plans must be altered unless you are given prior authority by myself or a senior member of the household.
-I came down at the Queen's request. I'll take my orders from her.
-Do you?
-Awaiting my orders.
-You do not report for duty unless the Queen requests it. You know that very well.
-I didn't come all this way to sit on my arse.
-You will await your orders like everyone else. Unless you prefer a repeat of yesterday's little excitement.
-No.
-I thought I made myself perfectly clear. You do not leave your room until Her Majesty requests it.
-Go inside at once.
-Is that the Queen's request?
-She'll be away on Friday between eight o'clock and six in the evening to visit the Grants in Glasalt. If she's to make the journey there and back in the day she's to have no distractions the night before. She'll take a light supper alone in her private drawing room and retire early.
-She'll need to sign dispatches before she retires.
-That can wait till the weekend.
-There are important papers from --
-If I find out that you had anything to do with this, I will have you sacked.
-I believe that decision rests with Her Majesty.
-Don't think I can't persuade her.
-I don't doubt that the Queen was highly amused. She has always had a very healthy sense of humor.
-This is a slur on her good name.
-In as much as the article is about yourself, I think you must now accept that the public has a right to its interest in you.
-Nobody has any rights over me.
-The Queen will be riding to St. George's on the fifth.
-What brings you here?
-What do you know about the Highlands?
-I am a blank sheet.
-Do you hunt?
-Occasionally.
-Dare say you can be taught.
-To shoot perhaps, but not to kill.
-Always remember, you keep it tight to your shoulder, you absorb the kick. Aim for the head. Then imagine it's Gladstone.
-You sent for me.
-Princes and Lords are but the breath of kings, An honest man's the noblest work of God. You must miss such magnificent views.
-Forgive me, I've called you out and you should have been resting.
-I'm fine.
-You're injured.
-It's nothing.
-Still, someone must attend you. Your wife should not have let you out.
-I'm not married.
-Oh.
-The look on their faces when one walks into the room. Still gives one a ridiculous thrill.
-I wouldn't know.
-Surely --
-What I do, I do for my Queen.
-Was there never ambition?
-Maybe, once.
-Then I envy yo.
-Why?
-To have achieved one's ambition, or to have reconciled oneself to its limits, is a lifetime's work.
-I do what I do.
-For Her Majesty.
-Aye.
-But yourself? What about John Brown?
-I said. I serve the Queen.
-You will not be unaware of the threat now posed by Republicanism.
-Why do you think I keep her here?
-So...?
-The truth is, the Queen would be safer doing her duty and returning south to her public. John Bull loves her and John Bull is her best defense.
-Her mind is set. She won't change now.
-They don't see it.
-See what?
-The threat. I tell them, but they don't see it.
-They aren't as watchful as you.
-Too busy looking after themselves.
-The greasy pole.
-No loyalty.
-I promised to protect her from people like you.
-For once in my life, I am not the issue.
-She'll never understand it.
-In time, she will.
-She'll think I betrayed her.
-Mr Brown.
-Ma'am.
-You are here safely.
-Aye, ma'am.
-You are well?
-I am.
-And the pony?
-Your family sent cards. It was much appreciated.
-My husband was always very complimentary in speaking of you. He would have approved, I am sure, of my calling on you in this way. I trust it does not inconvenience you too much.
-I've no family, ma'am, apart from my brothers and sisters.
-Yes. You have a brother in service here, do you not? I forget his name.
-Archie.
-Yes. That will be company for you.
-Mr Brown.
-Yes, ma'am.
-You have been told repeatedly not to stand in the courtyard unless requested to do so.
-Yes, ma'am.
-Then why do you persist in doing it?
-The Queen will ride out if and when she chooses.
-Prince Albert was going to build a bench here. He thought it one of the best views in Osborne.
-It's a fine spot, ma'am.
-If Prince Albert were here today, he'd tell him a thing or two.
-It is a fine spot for a bench, is it not?
-Aye, ma'am.
-What are those?
-What?
-Those, over there, there.
-Craobhan-geanmchno-fhiadhaich.
-I am thinking of publishing my "Highland Journals."
-Are they worth reading?
-I am told so.
-Who by?
-Sir Henry Ponsonby tells me they are charming.
-What does he know about the Highlands?
-He has been attending at Balmoral for many years.
-That doesn't make him an expert.
-His remarks were directed at the quality of the writing, not its subject.
-I don't groom a horse to have it admired by others, I groom it because it needs grooming.
-I do not do it for others. But Ponsonby thinks they are good.
-Just say what you have to say, woman. What other people think shouldn't matter to you.
-Aye, well, if all you want is a good opinion then he'd be sure to oblige you.
-They're ready now.
-I hope they didn't go to any trouble, John.
-We took a nip of whiskey.
-To keep out the cold.
-What is it, John? John?
-Must they always follow us?
-I ordered it. It's for your own safety.
-Am I not safe enough with you, John?
-Aye. But there are Fenians reported on the mainland.
-The threat from the Irish is greatly exaggerated, I'm sure.
-John?
-Yes, ma'am?
-I was told you were in a fight.
-Yes, ma'am.
-Has someone seen to those bruises?
-Ma'am?
-Yes?
-Having considered my position here at court, I have come to the conclusion that it is in the best interest of Your Majesty that I should resign.
-I had foreseen that you would not. But Your Majesty should understand -- that my mind will not be changed in this. I leave for Deeside --
-Duty?! You talk about duty?!
-If duty and safety are served by the same end then, aye, I do.
-I cannot believe you are saying this? You, who I have relied on all this time --
-Have I ever let you down before--?
--- You stand there and tell me it is my duty ... after all you promised me!
-I'm breaking no promises!
-You are forcing me to do the very thing you know I fear most!
-For god's sake, woman, I'm just trying to keep you safe!
--- When I took you out riding, come rain or shine, because I knew it was right for you, when I kept the bairns off your back so you could have a bit of peace, when I saw you safe from home to home and you didn't even know I was there...! All I've ever thought about is you!
-Then why send me back to them?!
-You should never have gone out in such foul weather.
-Someone has to look after you. It could've been someone. It was before.
-Forgive me, gentlemen. I'm late.
-Not at all, Dean. Good of you to spare the time.
-I came as quickly as I could.
-You've seen the latest cartoon in Punch, I take it?
-What can we do?
-Your Majesty remains at the very epicenter of governance. As for your people, look no further than the sales of your Highland Journals to see in what affection the nation holds their Queen. You sell even more copies than Mr Dickens.
-Then they may read about me.
-Indeed, and for that they are eternally grateful.
-Is that not enough?
-I never thought to be bullied by you, Mr Disraeli. You, I thought, understood a widow's grief.
-I stay here because I am happy. Is that such a terrible crime?
-This is my good John Brown.
-Yes.
-Should we take it seriously?
-The cartoon or Her Majesty's absenteeism?
-Well, both.
-The question is, do we need her?
-Surely, you're not suggesting we dispense--
-Gossip counts. Lord Aberdeen was right. This country is not governed by wisdom but by talk. Granted, it wouldn't take much to winkle the old girl out of mourning, but if public opinion is against her, then it doesn't do to appear too close.
-So?
-I see the Prince of Wales is here.
-What did he want?
-We're going to lose.
-You can't know that for sure.
-Gladstone's got his party facing the same way for the first time in years. We need help. Where is the old girl?
-Who?
-Mrs Brown.
-It's questionable whether there's any advantage to be had from that direction. She's never been less popular.
-In the press, perhaps. But she's sold more copies of her Highland Journal in three months than Punch will ever sell in a year. Time to wheel her out.
-She's refusing to leave Balmoral.
-What's her excuse this time?
-The Princess Louisa is too ill to move. Frankly, the Queen's rather upset at the recent spate of bad publicity. You're smiling.
-A fine choice, sir.
-A distinct flushing around the cheeks. She was drunk, I tell you.
-Erysipelas.
-Not too protracted, I hope.
-The Queen wishes to publish an account of him.
-Dear oh dear.
-We think she can be dissuaded. Have you had a glance at the diary?
-Yes.
-Quite. I think I'd best take it back.
-Where did you find it by the way?
-Well, no rest for the wicked, Henry.
-We're expecting Brown this afternoon, ma'am.
-I'm sorry, ma'am?
-Cold is good!
-Excellent, ma'am, excellent. But perhaps if her Majesty were to consider accompanying her new-found physical vigor with the benefits of mental activity...
-Why am I being lectured in this way?!
-Forgive me, Your Majesty. In no way did I wish to suggest--
-No. You are mistaken. Prince Albert, my husband, had typhoid fever. I asked what was wrong with my son.
-Why was I not informed?
-I did not consider it wise, in the circumstances, to tax your nerves.
-The Royal Family and senior members of the household, ma'am.
-Just them?
-It's Mr Brown, ma'am.
-What is he doing there?
-He appears to be ... standing by his horse.
-I made no request to go out riding today. How long has he been there?
-Well?
-Mr Brown is unable to attend today.
-Why?
-I believe he is unwell, ma'am.
-Unwell?
-I understand he was in a fight.
-Has he been hurt?
-How long has he been this sick?
-A few days, ma'am.
-Sir Henry, Mr Brown is standing in the courtyard. I have no wish to go riding.
-I'm very sorry, ma'am. I can't imagine -- he was certainly given no instructions.
-Please make sure it does not happen again.
-Lord Clarendon arrives, by invitation, at eleven o'clock, followed at twelve by a picnic in the grounds to celebrate Princess Alice's birthday. Dispatches, as usual, at two. The Chancellor writes to say that, by happy coincidence, he will be in Cowes for the weekend. He asks if Your Majesty might grant him an audience.
-Why?
-He thought, perhaps, Your Majesty might wish to be informed of the latest developments in government.
-We stayed a little longer than expected with Mr and Mrs Grant. It was most agreeable.
-We were expecting you to return by six.
-Read it.
-Again?
-Who told them that?
-I have no idea.
-Why not?
-No-one should think themselves wiser than me! It is not for any of the Queen's subjects to presume to tell Her Majesty when and where She should come out of mourning. It is the Queen's sorrow that keeps her secluded! It is Her overwhelming amount of work and responsibility, work which She feels will soon wear her out entirely!
-Your Majesty --
-There is one other matter.
-What is it?
-I have a letter, ma'am.
-From whom?
-From Princess Helena and other members of your family.
-What do they want?
-Ma'am?
-Please tell the Princess, and other signatories to this letter, that the Queen will not be dictated to, or made to alter, in any way, what she has found to answer for her comfort. Do I make myself clear?
-That's a very pretty shawl you are wearing, Alex. Silk suits you well. But you are not eating enough. One must not let vanity overrule one's appetite.
-Where is my son?
-Prince Albert is at Windsor, ma'am.
-Why is he not here?
-He is sick, ma'am.
-Then why are you not with him?
-You ordered all members of the Royal Family to attend you at Balmoral.
-What is the matter with him?
-Does that thing work?
-What do you mean?
-You've got your ten levels, right? Here they are... Each level has an exit, only remember, the exits aren't always what they seem. First one's The Blood Red Sky, then you've got The Blue Desert, Tower of Ghosts, Kingdom of the Blind... On each world you have to find a golden key and you've only got so much time to do it in. If
-How do you stop The Screamer?
-What's the riddle?
-If I tell you, then it's no fun.
-Just tell me the fucking riddle.
-How the hell did you do that?
-Could you play ARCADE with that?
-Thanks, Albert. Think you could print up those schematics?
-We're having some problems with ARCADE...
-We vere thinking there might be tricks. You know, surprises that you'd worked into the game...
-The next half of the game takes place in ARCADE's brain, The City of Truth. It's urban scenarios, lots of metal and concrete. Screamer comes faster here. On Level Four you can get a free life if you wait until the last possible second before exiting that world. Gotta time it right though.
-What's the question mark?
-Level Ten. That's where you've got to unlock ARCADE's heart using the keys you've found.
-How do you do that?
-But how can it change every time?
-Dead?
-Well, brain-dead anyway. Coma patient. It's really not all that important.
-Maybe he's not dead.
-He?
-The donor. Maybe he's alive inside the game.
-Nick, Alex, how are we today?
-How'd you know it was us?
-Now what seems to be the problem?
-It's the game, ARCADE.
-If this is a joke, I'm not laughing.
-Neither are we. Something's wrong with the game, Mr. Difford.
-Talk to me.
-He thinks I'm "sublimating".
-Has anyone seen Greg?
-Sick?
-Everybody's sick, huh? It's fifteen after. We always meet here, you know that.
-What's her problem?
-Did you play ARCADE last night?
-Liar. Did you come from the city on the left, or the city on the right?
-I came from the city on the left.
-So where is he?
-Hmmm. He said you were going to have dinner?
-Yeah...
-So take his car home. Wait. I'm sure he's up to something...
-Hello?
-Nick...
-Have you played the game yet? It's incredible! I was just...
-Listen to me! Greg never came home. I think the game has something to do with it.
-I have to talk to you.
-We are talking...
-No, in person. Now.
-It's twelve-thirty!
-Alex, you don't know how long I've waited for this.
-What do you mean by "weird"?
-Can you turn off the game?
-I'm in the middle of it...
-Happy?
-No, wait. Just listen. I hooked it up earlier tonight, and it said my name. As soon as I turned it on, Nick. It said my name. How could it know? And then, I asked it where Greg was, and it said, "In here".
-Alex, I think you're freaking out. Greg's gone, I'll give you that. And maybe he's in trouble. But it's not ARCADE that's doing it...
-It is.
-How?! It's a machine, Alex. Machine's don't think. They're not alive. It's a good program, a brilliant program, it was designed so it would act as if it were alive, but it's not alive.
-So how did it know my name, then?
-See, men always do this. "Quiet down, honey. Chill out. Take a Valium". I'm not a fucking idiot, Nick! I DID NOT IMAGINE IT!!!
-It turned itself back on, Nick.
-Sorry. Maybe I need the Valium.
-Something's happened to them.
-It's the middle of the night. They're asleep. Phone didn't wake them.
-Because I didn't know where else to go.
-It's not this weird. It'll make sense. Everything gets weird this late anyway, right?
-We have to find out what's happened to them. I think they're gone...
-No way.
-If they're sick, great. But let's make sure. Come on, Nick.
-Well?
-Where to now?
-This is like a movie or something. I mean, am I paranoid or what?
-It doesn't necessarily mean she's...
-Change the channel!
-Then leave her.
-We can't...
-Where do we go?
-That's what I thought.
-What?
-It's not just the cable system. It's in the phone system as well, the electronic net. It's everywhere.
-Nick, what is it.
-Maybe it is alive in a way...some sort of electronic intelligence. It's like a computer virus that developed a personality or something. It's self-replicating...it mimics life.
-It's growing. Getting stronger. Maybe it's only localized now...
-...but then it hits the relay stations...
-Anywhere. We have to stop it from getting out.
-It's already out.
-The Police, then...
-Give me a break, Alex. What are we going to tell them? Excuse me, officer, but there's some sort of electronic monster loose in the phone lines. I'd think twice about calling any of those 976 numbers...
-Then where do we go?!
-SLIP-STREAM.
-What?
-You mean we learn the rules...
-And beat it at it's own game.
-You realize that in order to do that, we'd actually have to play the game.
-Virgin sacrifices?
-What Alex is trying to say is that it "seems" like it's alive.
-No I'm not...
-Go outside, get your car, and meet me out front with the engine running. And make it quick, okay?
-What are you going to do?
-Jesus Christ!
-You got the schematics?
-I've been thinking about that. ARCADE's like a virus, so it seems like the place to hit him would be where the virus started. You know, like his point of origin?
-Dante's Inferno.
-Alex...
-What are you looking for?
-I don't understand. It wants us to play the game. It's been taunting us ...
-Put in a quarter.
-It can turn itself on, Alex! It doesn't need a quarter.
-You're not coming, Alex.
-Yes I am...
-I know how to do this! I'm good at these games. You never play, you'd be nailed in an instant.
-And what if something happens to you? Am I suppose to go in after you alone?!
-You don't get it, do you?
-What?
-I don't want anything to happen to you. I care about you.
-I already have a boyfriend, Nick.
-You feel it? It's different this time.
-Okay. Give us a kiss?
-One. In case...
-Thanks. Always wanted to do that.
-Yeah, well I figure these are unusual circumstances.
-I'll take the lead and handle the physical threats. You watch the elapsed time and look for exits.
-Which way do you think Level Two is?
-Okay. It's West.
-The clock's already ticking.
-And we've still got time left. This was a piece of cake.
-Hey, my strength's low. Look out for Fireflies.
-Shit...
-Our time's up.
-What?! There's nothing here!
-What the fuck is that?!
-We can't reach that!
-So that's what we almost died for?
-One of them, anyway... Did you see it? The Screamer?
-Christ...no time...
-We can take the dunes down like a ski slope. Pretend you're on a snowboard.
-What is it?
-Listen to me, Alex. These counselor's don't know anything. They're full of shit. If you don't fit the pattern of the perfect kid, they freak.
-I know.
-So tell me you're okay, then.
-I'm okay.
-Come on. We'll hit Dante's after school, try the game out, maybe get some dinner.
-And then keep on driving?
-Go for it.
-So how did you do it, Alex?
-How did you get here? Did you play the game?!
-Yes...
-Then we'll go home?
-Which way?
-It's the wrong way!
-It's here!!!
-What did he do to you?
-Is that your question?
-Think! I want to go to the City of Truth, and the Truth Teller is from there...but which one is which? The liar...think!
-You have no time. What is your question?
-I'm thinking!
-Mom? You're alive...
-Of course I am.
-But I don't understand...
-I love you, Alex. I never wanted to leave. You know that, don't you?
-Is...is that where we are? Did I die?
-We're glad you people could make it, and we're anxious to have you try out our new product. We think it's going to be a big seller. But you're the people that make it happen. You're the market share everyone's tearing each other apart to get at. It's your opinion that's going to make or break us.
-A man after my own heart. Straight to the point. What's different about ARCADE is the way it reacts. It responds like a human does. It learns. It adapts. Each time you play, it changes its strategy.
-That's impossible.
-"Escape"?
-So what's the scenario? Am I saving a princess? Fighting Zombies?
-It changes. There are eleven levels. Each one is a different layer of the ARCADE universe. The concept is, you're entering the video game itself, making your way across the circuit board to the logic core ... ARCADE's brain.
-So how do I start?
-So what do you think?
-This is one of our newest projects. We're trying to get rid of joy-sticks altogether ...
-It means she's screwed up.
-Cool.
-Can you say anything but "cool"?
-One of these cities, is the place you seek. The Teller of Truths will take you there. But the City of Lies, is dark and bleak. And death is certain if you enter, beware.
-I am The Liar. Where should I take you?
-So start at the beginning...
-Give her a chance, will you?
-Adam, where are you?
-What's going on, Cynthia?
-They've closed the set. They sent everybody home.
-What did you say?
-They fired everyone.
-Ray did ... and then they closed the set.... everybody's gone. You'd better get down here Adam!
-No.
-You've got to talk to Ray you've got to fix this.
-I'm going home.
-Home! Meet me at the office. We've got to do something ... you've got to do something Adam!
-I'm going home Cynthia.
-Adam, this isn't like you. Please come to the office. There must be something we can do.
-Someone's shut off my money!
-I know. Where are you Adam?
-What do you mean "you know"?
-Someone called me. When they couldn't get you they told me you were as good as broke. I didn't believe then, so I made some calls.
-And?
-You're broke!
-But I'm not broke.
-I know, but you're broke. Where are you?
-Do you know somebody called the The Cowboy?
-The Cowboy??
-Yeah, the Cowboy. This guy, the Cowboy, wants to see you. Jason said he thought it would be a good idea.
-Oh, Jason thought it would be a good idea for me to meet the Cowboy. Should I wear my ten gallon hat and my six shooters?
-Something tells me this guy is connected with what's happening, Adam, and I think you should do it and I think you should do it right away.
-Cynthia...what's going on?
-It's been a very strange day.
-And getting stranger. Where do I meet this Cowboy? I mean do I have to ride out to the range?
-Sort of, funny boy. If I tell him the meeting's on you're to go to the top of Beachwood Canyon. There's a corral up there where he'll be.
-You gotta be kidding?
-Will you meet with him?
-Yeah, sure. It is that kind of a day. When?
-Cynthia... that would not be a good idea.
-I'm just offering a place to stay.
-I understand, Cynthia and thank you for the offer. I'll find a place. Now go ahead and give the Cowboy a yodel and get back to me.
-Okay, but you don't know what you're missing.
-So what's the problem?
-There is no problem.
-We'd be happy to put her in the pile for considerations ... you'd be pleased to know there's quite a lot of interest in this role.
-You'd better fix this, Ray!!!
-I'll speak to someone.
-Howdy!
-Beautiful night.
-Yeah.
-Sure want to thank ya for drivin' all the way up to see me from that Beverly Hills Hotel.
-No problem. What's on your mind?
-Well now, here's a man who wants to get right to it. Kinda anxious to get to it are ya?
-Whatever.
-A man's attitude ... a man's attitude goes some ways toward how a man's life will be. Is that somethin' you agree with?
-Sure.
-Now... did you answer cause you thought that's what I wanted to hear or did you think about what I said and answer cause you truly believe that to be right?
-I agree with what you said...truly.
-What did I say?
-That a man's attitude determines to a large extent how his life will be.
-So since you agree I guess you could be a person who does not care about the good life.
-Well, just stop for a little second and think about it. Will ya do that for me?
-Okay, I'm thinking.
-No. You're too busy being a smart aleck to be thinkin'. Now I want ya to think and quit bein' such a smart aleck. Can ya do that for me?
-Look ... where's this going? What do you want me to do?
-There's sometimes a buggy. How many drivers does a buggy have?
-One.
-So let's just say I'm drivin' this buggy and you fix your attitude and you can ride along with me.
-Okay.
-It will work out.
-Good then, but, just in case, that bank's gonna stay closed a bit longer. You understand that?
-I understand.
-You're an understandin' fella.
-So, this is the last time I see you then unless I do bad?
-No, this one doesn't count. It's part of the original one. So then ... until we meet again.
-Yes...what is it?
-I'm sorry Mr. Kesher, but there seems to be some problem concerning your credit card.
-... What??
-The fact is Mr. Kesher a representative of your bank called us.
-How... how'd they know I was here?
-I don't know. All we do is take an impression of the credit card and until you check out it just sits in our files.
-So, what did they say?
-Well, Sir, I'm afraid they said you're overdrawn at your bank and your line of credit has been cancelled.
-Unbelievable. Look... here. I don't know what's going on. That's so much baloney. I've got enough cash for one night, okay?
-That's fine, Mr. Kesher. You can pay cash when you check out. I'm sorry. it was my duty to inform you.
-Fine. I'll check out in the morning.
-I guess it was your grandfather, was it ... he called me to check in, said you were on your way and for you to call when you get in. Nice man... farmer I hear.
-Yes, he is. He raises corn.
-Damn lot of corn raised in Hollywood these days too.
-Well, I ...
-I...
-You probably don't remember her, but Louise Bonner lives right over there in number 29. When she isn't drunk she runs a damn good acting class.
-Have many famous actors and actresses lived here? I was meaning to ask you that.
-I guess I've come to quite a place.
-No, I don't.
-That's good. They're allowed, but I don't like 'em...for obvious reasons. One man used to live here that had a prize fighting kangaroo. You wouldn't believe what that kangaroo did to this courtyard ... let's see your Aunt's apartment ... it's a good one.
-It's unbelievable!
-I told ya.
-Wow!
-Now I guess you and your Aunt have an understanding. So here's the key and you need anything, just give a holler. Everybody in this building's pretty much okay with me or they wouldn't be here. If you want, later I'll introduce you around. No hard feelings if you don't, and don't forget the rooftop garden. It's just up the stairs we passed. It's
-Oh Coco thank you. Thank you so much.
-Your Aunt called me.
-I was afraid of that.
-She wants to know who's staying in her apartment.
-It's just for a night or two, until she finds her own place. I tried to explain that to Aunt Ruth, but the connection was bad and her plane was leaving and she got it all mixed up. I kept telling her it was my friend and she kept saying she didn't know any Ritas ...
-Coco...she's very nice. We went to school together.
-So I guess your Grandpa and Grandma know her.
-You're really something Coco...thank you.
-Sorry to trouble you, Coco.
-It's all right gorgeous. Something wrong?
-No, no. I'm on my way to my audition. Before I go I wanted to ask you if you could remember the man's name ... Aunt Ruthie's friend who helped put this together. It completely went out of my mind.
-His name's Wally Brown .... great guy. Been in the business since forever.
-Thanks Coco. It'd be so embarrassing
-Naw! He wouldn't have cared. Just give him a good performance and he'll be happy and I've got a feeling you'll do just that.
-Get going. You don't want to be late.
-Right. See ya.
-That's okay.
-There was an accident. I came here.
-A car ... a car accident.
-Are you okay?
-I think so. I was just taking a shower.
-My name is Rita.
-Betty Elms?
-Yes.
-I'm Wally Brown. Your Aunt is a very dear friend of mine so it's particularly nice to meet you.
-Very pleased to meet you.
-Hi.
-No, no, I'm fine.
-Just tell me where it hurts, baby.
-What?
-Betty.
-You're still here?
-I can call them... I can call my dad.
-Stop... just stop! That's what you said from the beginning. If I tell what happened... they'll arrest you and put you in jail, so get out of here before...
-Hi. I'm inquiring ...well, I heard a sound last night that sounded like a car crash and I want to know if there was an accident on Mulholland Drive.
-Yes, there was.
-Can you tell me what happened?
-No. I can't.
-Was anyone hurt?
-Yes?
-Diane?
-Number 17.
-But it said #12.
-Well ... we'll leave her a note.
-No ..........I.
-I...I mean......I...it's none of my business.
-She has pretty red hair... she is very kind I think.
-She sure is. She's letting me stay here while she's working on a movie that's being made in Canada, but I guess you know that. I couldn't afford a place like this in a million years. Unless of course I'm discovered and become a movie star. Of course, I'd rather be known as a great actress than a movie star, but sometimes people end
-I think I've been hurt.
-No.
-But, this could be serious.
-No...I need to sleep.
-If you have a concussion you shouldn't sleep.
-It will be okay if I sleep. I need to lie down and sleep.
-What is it Rita?
-What's wrong?
-I don't know who I am.
-What do you mean? You're Rita.
-Well... what do you think about then? I mean... well what do you think about?
-What do you mean?
-Well ... if you don't remember anything, I mean what goes through your mind then if you don't remember anything?
-Nothing. I do remember the car crash... I told you... I remember the glass ... I think about that sometimes ... I remember walking here, sort of. Now I remember this place and you. That's about it.
-I don't know.
-You don't remember anything else?
-The money. You don't know where it came from?
-Unh, unh.
-Mulholland Drive.
-Mulholland Drive?
-That's where I was going... Mulholland Drive.
-Maybe that's where the accident was. There must be a police report. We could call.
-No.... I don't...
-Okay... but just...just to see.
-Just to see if there was an accident on Mulholland Drive.
-Okay.
-There's nothing?
-No. Just the coffee.
-Strange to be calling yourself.
-Maybe it's not me.
-It's not my voice ... but I know her.
-Maybe the voice isn't Diane Selwyn. Maybe that's your roommate or if it is Diane Selwyn she can tell you who you are.
-What's wrong with that?
-I'm not sure about this.
-"You're still here?"
-"Really?"
-"My parents are right upstairs! They think you've left..."
-"So... surprise"...
-"I can call them... I can call my dad... "
-"You're playing a dangerous game here. If you're trying to blackmail me... it's not going to work."
-"You know what I want...it's not that difficult."
-"Get out! Get out before I call my dad ... he trusts you ... your his best friend. This will be the end of everything... "
-"What about you? What will your dad think about you?"
-"Stop! Just Stop! That's what you said from the beginning. If I tell what happened... they'll arrest you and put you in jail, so get out of here before..."
-"Before I kill you."
-Oh, no wonder I'm starving. I'm going to fix a sandwich. You want one?
-I'm all right.
-Is everything all right? Is it bad for you that I'm here?
-I hope I'm back in a couple of hours. Don't drink all the coke.
-Good luck!
-When I get back I'll have the cab waiting, so be ready to go.
-Why didn't you ask him? Sol knows you!
-But I don't know, Sol. I never heard of Sol. I'd just get in trouble. That's why we shouldn't go see about Diane Selwyn... it's better not to get in trouble.
-Don't stop!
-What is it? What do you see?!
-Those men in front, in the car.
-Do you know them?!
-No... but...
-I don't think...
-C'mon help me in. I'll open the front door.
-Rita... I know what you're doing.
-What ... I..HAVE... to do.
-Rita... I want you to stay here and you don't have to give me that money.
-But I want to.
-No. We shouldn't touch that money. We don't know about that money. That might be dangerous money. You have to start all over again. You look like a brand new person and you can be a brand new person... whoever you want to be.
-It sounds kind of nice ... being somebody brand new.
-To my audition.
-And who are we auditioning for today?
-Wally Brown.
-And do we know which of the fifty-seven buildings Wally Brown is in?
-No, we don't.
-Well, now we've got to figure that out first don't we?
-Yes, Sir.
-Mr.Wallace Brown is in the Executive Building on the second floor. We want to go in and turn right at the first street. Then we want to walk three blocks down past Stage 17 to the white Executive Building. Once we're on the second floor the receptionist will take us from there. Now do we have name?
-Betty Elms.
-Let's see if we have a pass for Betty Elms ... and we do. Here we go. And good luck Miss. Elms.
-Yeah, sure. Look what happened to them.
-No, no, no, I told you. They're fine. They're all real happy.
-You're so easy.
-Gotta keep an eye on her, that's all.
-Yeah, what for?
-What's the matter now?
-Nothing... I don't like being out in the open like this.
-Why did you want to go to breakfast if you're not hungry?
-I just wanted to come here.
-To Denny's? I wasn't going to say anything, but why Denny's?
-This Denny's.
-It's kind of embarrassing but,
-Go ahead.
-I had a dream about this place.
-Oh boy.
-You see what I mean...
-Okay, so you had a dream about this place. Tell me.
-So, you came to see if he's out there?
-To get rid of this god-awful feeling.
-You feel it?
-Sammy thinks the Caddy had stopped along the shoulder ... man up the road said he saw two cars drag racin'...then you got that blind corner.
-Two men... two guns in the Caddy.
-Yeah, they showed me
-Could be unrelated.
-Could be...any of those dead kids wearin' pearl earrings?
-No. Could be someone's missin' maybe.
-Nice wallets.
-Handstitched Italian. Filled with phony credit cards ... off the two guys in the Caddy.
-The one of 'em still alive?
-Yeah... just .... Dr. Scott's got 'im. You remember Dr.Scott.
-Well he said... you know in his way... you know what I mean? Besides the guy gettin' rolled up under the kids car which busted him up pretty bad, there was this little knife-like torn piece of metal, you know, off the car body, rolled out and slid up through this guy's neck and just kinda slit his aorta, you know, but they didn't
-Find out who they are?
-Nope, not yet. Their fingerprints don't match up anywhere.
-Interesting.
-Yeah ... and they both use the same address.
-Where at?
-Palmdale.
-So man, that's unheard of ... an accident like that ... who coulda foreseen that.
-Unreal ... so, you're looking good. Whatcha doin' these days?
-Well, not much Ed. Just doin' some stuff for this guy.
-Making ends meet, huh.
-Hardly.
-Yeah, look at my digs ... times are tough.
-Oh, things aren't so bad. Gee, I hope you're not goin' to get in any trouble.
-It was just a thing. The story made you laugh.
-Not here...no thanks.
-Not a coke or anything?
-No ... thanks though... I'll take a cigarette if you have one.
-No. I haven't seen any.
-A brunette? ... maybe beat up?
-No...
-You'll keep your eyes open for me won't you baby?
-That's it folks for the Demon Boat Ride.... Everybody off. Watch your hands and feet.
-And now ladies and gentlemen it's time for the fabulous CROCODILE SHOW !
-So many tubes to get in, only one is the way out.
-Great.. great. Is there any kind of hint or anything ?
-You must come in first place to move on !
-Is that it ?
-Doesn't it bother you to see this kind of brutal death ? I mean , I can understand the old man's infatuation with the stuff, but not you.
-I'm an investment banker. I see blood bathes everyday. Besides, mine is not to question why, min is but to do or die.
-Good morning. What do you have today ?
-I'll do the standard research and have them in by midnight, pending any unforseen problems.
-You have 43 unpaid parking tickets, sir. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can & will be held.....
-What's going on ?
-Where are we ?
-Why should we trust you ?
-What about Matt ?
-Leave him, he's dead.
-Why don't you tell us what the fuck is going on ?
-Why should I ?
-You said we were criminals, what did you mean ?
-You're both embezzling. I saw the records.
-Embezzling ? I'm not embezzling !
-Maybe not, but he is and fucking him makes you an accessory. He stole your passwords.
-Now where do we go ?
-How do we get out of this room ?
-Now what the hell are we supposed to do ?
-There's enough force to push you twenty feet in the air. It won't kill you, but it will hurt.
-Come on, it works.
-So where does this lead ?
-No where. We've got about seven minutes before this thing slams into a concrete wall.
-So what do we do ?
-I'm working on it.
-Who the hell are you anyway ? What is this place ?
-It's called Murderland. It's paid for by First Bank.
-First Bank ? But how ?
-It's a tax write off for John C. McCay.
-McCay knows ?
-What are you doing ?
-Hey ! Hey ! I'm talking to you !
-What ?
-You took an awful big risk back there.
-Look I don't even wanna know how I got in this mess. I just want out. It has nothing to do with me.
-If you hadn't started boffing that weasel with an attitude, you wouldn't be here.
-I'M NOT BOFFING MATTHEW !
-Then you didn't give him any passwords of any kind ?
-NO ! I wouldn't do that.
-Then he isn't embezzling either is he ?
-So you're telling me you were set up ? I knew something was wrong.
-I'm not listening.
-Hey ! I'm still your best chance to get out of here alive.
-It won't take them that long to figure out we weren't on the train when it wrecked.
-Not listening !
-Look, there's another train. They'll send it through here. You're fucked if you don't STOP and listen to me.
-I'm listening.
-What's the trick here ?
-We drown.
-Obviously, but what's the way out ?
-Once the room depletes it's oxygen, we have about 30 seconds, then a door opens on the bottom over there. Then we swim out.
-How long till the room fills ?
-So why this ?
-Excuse me ?
-Why did you build this whole place ?
-Is this really the time ?
-Do you have something better to talk about ?
-I just graduated from M.I.T. in engineering. That's when John McCay hired me.
-He hired you to build this place ?
-I was lured by all the money and I truly did convince myself that what I did was for justice. Since then, McCay has wanted to put anyone he can down here.
-But how do you know if the people are guilty ?
-I do a very thorough background check. I go through police files, personel files, anything.
-Then how come Matt and I showed up as guilty ?
-It was there, clear as day. I saw the computer records. Matthew has been fed wiring money to his personal account. I just knew something was wrong.
-So you may have been duped this whole time. Killing innocent people, that must make you feel ..., how does it feel ?
-There are other things too. They had everyone start taking those psych tests. Did they make you take one ?
-Yeah, everyone has to when they get hired.
-There's more to it than trying to see if you'd steal from the company or if you'd lie or cheat.
-What do you mean ?
-And you believe that ?
-I've since changed my mind. I designed this place, based on my belief that I was doing what the legal system couldn't or wouldn't do. McCay had the company buy the property and they pay the bills. It's a tax write off. On the books everything looks kosher. I have an office on 5th that I haven't seen in ten years.
-Doesn't anyone notice all the people missing ?
-This is New York. No one notices anyone. Not even when someone disappears. At first it was the guy who was caught trying to steal McCay's Jag. Then it was dirty accountants that tried to walk away with millions. The Old Man got such a rush from it, I thought that he would start trying to send me people who used the copier after
-How can you just take a life ? I mean it's a life, life is so precious. How does it feel ?
-What do you do with the company, if I might ask ?
-I... I .....
-You didn't think about it did you ? I read your file. It said you had a nervous breakdown.
-I wanted to let his family know....
-Know what ? That it was your fault ?
-It wasn't my fault. I was just part of a team. I was doing my job...
-Just remember, hold your breath as long as you can. Then go right over to that corner. The door will open and go in and up.
-You okay ?
-If we can get to through the next room, we'll be at a junction for a power grid.
-This is cute.
-Yeah, real cute. The storm is fake, but the lightening is real.
-Okay Mr Inventor, how do we avoid it ?
-You don't. It's random, there no trick.
-Where are we going ?
-I don't get it.
-Do you know where you're going ?
-What was that ?
-What about you ?
-Just stop it. End it here.
-What are you DOING here ?
-I work here, remember ?
-That was eleven years ago.
-Well, surprise, surprise, I've been on the payroll for several years now. I still have an office and secretary. No one even batted an eyelash. Do you realize what the high turnover is in a multi corporation bank in New York ?
-Apparently pretty high, we just got a new CEO last week.
-That's a shame.
-Yeah a real shame.
-Well, I'll see you at the next staff party.
-Are you Matthew Parker ?
-Yes, can I help you ? Maybe a donut or something ?
-That's very funny, sir. You are under arrest.
-Kojak here is arresting me for unpaid parking tickets.
-NO. Don't. You'll get a shock from hell if you touch that seat.
-Who are you anyway ? What the hell is this ?
-OUCH !!! GODDAMMIT that hurts !!!!
-NO ! Don't open ANY of them ! They're all wrong. Just wait.
-Wait for what ? i don't wanna alarm you but we'll be the special at the International House of Pancakes in about five minutes !
-Okay, NOW I'm worried. What exactly is on the other side of the door ?
-Either you'll be shot with bullets, impaled with a large spike, or nailed like a super model. Basically you're fucked any way you go.
-Hey buddy, thanks for the help back there !
-Give me one good reason why I don't plug you right here, right now ?
-Is it over ?
-That's nice. I think I lost my wallet.
-I'd get out of the water if I were you.
-I thought you made this place ?
-What's next Walt ?
-A dragon.
-Be very, very quiet...
-The room has sound sensors. If you wake it up, it breathes fire.
-An elevator ?
-It's fine thanks.
-Why don't you tell us a little about yourself ?
-That's not to tough.
-Issues ??? This guy has the damn subscription to every psychotic issue I've ever heard of.
-Hey, try swimming. It works.
-What the fuck are you talking about.
-You okay ?
-This probably isn't the bet time, but I really have to pee. Can I pee ?
-Knock yourself out.
-Is it over ?
-Almost. Look, you two get out of here.
-Where ?
-He's the liaison for McCay. Listen go. Go now.
-I didn't think he'd make it past Scraps.
-Don't.
-What ?
-Don't eat at the console.
-What ? Are you my mother ?
-It's my control board and I don't want it acting squirrelly because you dropped a few crumbs into the keyboard, no put the shit away.
-Never underestimate a man who cheats on his taxes. His file says he is an avid jogger.
-He'll never get it right. Try the Log Ride !
-Not yet.
-But, he's...
-Stop the hydraulics.
-Johnny, let's get the cleanup started.
-Hand me the 3/8ths.
-Here. Am I ever going to get to run the controls for one these capers ?
-When I think you're ready.
-When will that be ?
-When you are ready.
-Look, you're going to have to start trusting me sometime. I am a trustworthy person.
-Trust is earned not given away.
-RESPECT is earned not given away, trust is given away to anybody.
-Not down here. I'll start trusting you when I feel there the time is right. It's not personal, it's just survival.
-I've been working with you for four years, don't you think that's worthy of at least one turn at the controls ?
-I made my bones on the street, you know. I did Riglioni in his own house. I was made in the Family, okay.
-And who bailed you out when a hit was put on you, you sorry sack of shit. Who put you up ? Who gave you a job ?
-You did.
-What's wrong ?
-I see here that this guy has made deposits into his own account for the last four months. Each one in the amount of $100,000. He then puts in deposits into his girlfriends account.
-So ?
-He already had a balance of $600,000.
-He probably has a history of this shit.
-Yeah, maybe.... Let's start the background checks. Let's see where they live and what kind of security systems....
-Matthew lives on the Upper West Side, kinda posh for a temp don't you think ?
-Any priors ? Any police record ?
-Checking..... Hah ! He has a shit load of unpaid parking tickets...
-Parking tickets ? That's it ?
-Yeah, but we're talking 43.
-A real criminal.... I still think that's our in... What about her ?
-Why don't you just stop fucking around and just die !
-You think I'm that easy, Bitch ?
-Well ?
-Fire the whole division.
-Excuse me, sir ?
-Fire the whole division. We're moving more of the operations division into Manhattan anyway. Whoever is left over from the conversion is no longer needed. We already have all the key people here. Anyone else is expendable.
-Sir, I came from the Chicago offices myself, and if I may say, sir, there are still some very good....
-If you want, I can fire you and have someone else who has the balls terminate these worthless people. Which will it be ?
-Zachory ! My boy, how goes the carnage down on 44 ?
-Not that well sir. I believe we have a few too many soft hearts in the building. Did we aquire a bank from Chicago or a charity ?
-Relax, son. They'll learn in time that you don't fuck with First Bank. This is the real deal and we aim to keep it strong. My Daddy always told me that Only The Strong Survive.
-I thought that was Darwin, sir. Or perhaps Nietzsche ?
-Perhaps it was. I was in boarding school for so many years, it's hard to remember. Do you have the tape of the latest exploits from my favorite hobby ?
-Yes sir, I do. Last night's, fresh from the Park.
-I have to say, that I am glad you are such an amazing kiss ass.
-Thank you , sir. Sir, may I ask you a question ?
-Of course.
-While I am not morally against these little, shall we say "hobbies", as long as I am on the payroll, but why not something like a yacht club ?
-Zach, how old are you, son ?
-I am thirty two.
-And how much do we pay you annually ?
-I make roughly four hundred thousand a year.
-Zach my boy, I can spend your yearly salary in a blink. I have had that kind of money all of my life. If I wanted to, I could fly to Paris for the afternoon. My father formed this company over seventy years ago. When my brother became mentally challenged, it was put in my charge. Now running a bank of this size is
-Yes sir.
-I have entrusted you with a great many things. In your tenure with this company you have seen and heard things that could upset the very economic world in which we live. I think this kind of loyalty should be rewarded.
-Thank you, sir. I was really hoping for shares, or possibly cash... but this, this is really personal.
-That was rather.... disappointing.
-I had suggested that they tone down the program so that the "guests" might take longer to expire.
-I want more action. I want to see more ingenuity than that. I want to see the injured man out wit the machines !
-But sir, most of the people we are putting into the "Park" are accountants that embezzle or investment bankers. They are not known for their physical or intellectual prowess.
-I don't believe Ol' Bruce is having as much fun with this as he once did. He still insists on the "guests" being of the more nefarious type.
-That's right, sir. He does a thorough background check and if he finds them to be criminal or guilty of embezzlement, then he will put them in the park. He has refused the last three suggested "guests".
-What about that time when the mail room kid was accused of stealing and we put him in the "Park" ? Wasn't that a computer glitch ?
-Yes sir. It turns out we put an innocent man into the "park" and he was not the one who stole from the stamp machine. That is also about the time when Bruce began refusing.
-That mail room kid was the longest lasting "guest" yet ! Maybe we can alter the computer records and make another "guest" from the more athletic of our staff.
-I propose we consider a hostile take over. Perhaps Ol' Bruce is in need of a new job opportunity.
-What do you mean sir ?
-What if we were to put Bruce into the Park as a Guest ?
-Sir ?
-I'll bet that would be the Park run of the century !
-Sir, he created the Park. He would know how to circumvent any of the traps.
-I'm willing to bet that even the creator can't out wit his creation.
-What then sir ? What would we do with the park with out Bruce ?
-Do you think the assistant, what's his name...
-John, sir.
-Yes, do you think he would like a raise and a new position ?
-Sir, this is not like firing any employee. We can't predict what will happen.
-Zachary.
-Zach, my boy ! How is tonights adventure going ?
-Is it as good as I hope it is ?
-One moment dear...
-Sir ?
-Yes sir. It will be the best of your collection, I assure you.
-Fantastic ! A little faster sweetheart.
-Sir ? We're moving them right along as fast as we can.
-He has a phone pole sticking in his chest, I think we don't need an autopsy.
-Hey, Mr. Executive. Buy you a drink sailor ?
-We have new "guests" for the park. I have a file on them. May I see Bruce ?
-No. I was just curious if what I heard about you is true ?
-What did you hear ?
-Only that you were one of the finest hit men in the mob. That if you wanted a good clean kill, that Johnny Tortelli was the man for the job.
-I was.
-Might I ask why you no longer work for the mob ?
-There was a bit of confusion on one of my last jobs.
-I thought, and correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you trying to play both sides ?
-What are you looking for ? A blow job ?
-No. I am not a homosexual.
-Then what do you want ?
-Have you ever considered running your own "Park" ? I mean, since you will not be returning to your former profession.
-I didn't think even this company could afford to write off enough to build a new "Park".
-Are you happy with your salary and position ?
-No I am not.
-I had hoped you would say that. I have a proposal for you.....
-So who are these people with the Boss ?
-Just a temp who pissed me off and a girl who turned me down for the night of her life.
-How long till the drug wears off ?
-We should have another fifteen minutes at least.
-Bruce has just awaken.
-What is Bruce doing ?
-What was that ?
-He must have had a gun stashed. God damn it !
-We can't afford too many surprises.
-Will he make it out ?
-What's next ?
-I have a turn for the worse for the team !
-I've got five bucks that says someone dies here and now.
-Aren't you going to switch exits on him again ?
-Maybe you should get over fears.
-Look he figured it out !
-Look ! Look !
-Shit, I forgot about them. Well, I guess the boss man wasn't as tough as I thought.
-I don't know. Maybe we should watch the tape to be sure.
-Was that the Old Man ?
-There ! There ! Did you see ! They're still alive !
-That is repugnant. You have the habits of a goat.
-<<belch>>
-Ach ! How will you know if they've made it ?
-Thank you very much.
-Okay, I have five that says THIS is it for them.
-So what's next ? No one's ever made it this far before.
-What the ... ?
-What happened ?
-The power went out in half the park.
-How can this happen ?
-I don't know. I think that a power grid just needs reset. Don't get your panties in a bunch. I'll go down and reset it.
-Go in there ? What if Bruce finds you ?
-Good golly miss molly you are looking good today !
-Thank you.
-Just look at this tie. You could fry an egg off that orange, yow. Have you ever considered the Jerry Garcia line of ties ?
-Come on, I'm serious. Look at Wilma. She's this frail little thing, and Fred, I mean Fred Flintstone is this BIG guy. He has to be hung like a horse, and THAT's why Wilma puts up with his B.S.
-Listen, I was thinking, you know. Would you go, it's I think you're...
-Do you want to go out with me ?
-It's sounds so much better when you say it. I'm semi traditional here, and it's important that I ask. Will you go out with me ?
-Yes.
-Really ? On a date ?
-Yes.
-This is too easy, I mean I had a speech prepared, then I even wore these pants because I could get on my knees to grovel.
-As appealing as that sounds...
-Dinner at my place then ? Say, seven o'clock ?
-Hello.
-Hi. I brought some wine.
-Thank you, won't you come in ?
-What an incredible view !
-Are you okay ?
-Yes, Excuse me for a second.
-Well, I make good investments, I lead a double life as a secret agent.. I....I ... I have very rich parents. I have always had a lot of money.
-If they're so rich, why are you working at all ?
-I just want to have something that's mine, you know ? It's like living off of their money is fun and all. There are certain materialistic needs that I have that can only be satisfied with that extra little scratch.
-Like what, a Porsche ? A Ferrari ?
-Would that impress you ? I mean you're the kinda woman that probably has Ferrari written all over your personal ad.
-Actually, I'm more interested in the man behind the wheel more than the manufacturer. So what is it that you have that makes you a materialistic fool ?
-Okay, now go under go under it ! Shoot Vader's Tie Fighter ! Get Him Get Him !
-Not now, Mom.
-Hey... did we uhm, you know....
-Hey, you ! What the hell is going on ?
-I think we should follow him...
-Are you okay ?
-The roof is coming down.... hey, you.... Which door gets us out of here ??
-I'm talking to you asshole !
-You don't have to sound so emphatic.
-How's your foot ?
-Jesus Christ ! I'm just a temp for Christ sakes !
-Shut up ! It's me.
-I think I'm very quickly getting over my phobia of public urination.
-What ?
-It's that asshole Zach isn't it ?
-Are you okay ? Any holes ? I mean aside from the one's that nature gave you ?
-Hey Matty, don't wait for me or anything.
-Sweet Jesus I never dreamed I'd be glad to see Central Park at night.
-What now ?
-I want to go to sleep for about a month.
-No, idiot. Where do we go now ?
-Thanks a lot. I always wanted to know what it was like to see my life flash before my eyes for the one hundredth time tonight.
-He was right behind me !
-Hey good lookin' ! What'cha got cookin' ?
-Hey buddy. You okay ?
-Ow. Son of a ..... Did I ever tell you my theory on Star Wars as Porn ?
-No.
-No sir. I was just getting , well you know. Water. We weren't talking about sex or anything else except Star Wars. Just saying hello. I think I'm gonna go now.
-Why don't you shut up now.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
-Did you see what the First Bank stock opened at ? Very impressive.
-Actually it's down .2 from the last quarters highest, but I think it will pick up.
-I am equally impressed with your knowledge of the market. How long have you been with the company now ?
-Four years. I came over from the Capitol merger in Chicago six months ago.
-We start with the top and work our way down. We start with the high salaries and then just let the little people go. No need to make the blue collars go crazy.
-I disagree. I think we should start looking into the severance pay schedules and make sure the people with families can.....
-Look, Miss. I know you're still upset about that incident in Chicago, but understand, this is a cut throat business. We don't have time to play nursemaid to every single Tom Dick and Harry.
-You had to remind me?
-Are you writing a poem?
-Umm, where do you want this?
-Do you still teach?
-My mother took this course with you at UCLA...&quot;The Foundations of Poetic Thought&quot;.
-UCLA? My cardigan sweater period.
-Her name was Maggie Muldovan.
-People said she looked like me.
-I was drinking a little in those days. I'm drinking a little these days too.
-I'm sure she found your lectures fascinating.
-Oh I doubt it...lectures are notoriously boring.
-No they're not. I wanna be a writer, I wanna be just like you.
-Excuse me I asked you a question.
-I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, not even nuns.
-How did you know my name?
-Your Uncle Phil told me.
-Where is he?? He was supposed to meet me.
-Hey relax, you think I kidnapped him or something?
-This is California, anything is possible.
-Well if I was looking for a victim, I definitely wouldn't pick your Uncle Phil who outweighs me by about 150 pounds, besides, who would I ask for ransom? You??
-Are you suffering from a chemical imbalance or is it just an attitude problem.
-My only problem is that your Uncle Phil is giving me five bucks to pick you up but I don't get paid 'till delivery.
-Put that down, I'll...I'll call the police!
-What are you gonna do? Tell them that...a polite person helped carry your bag?
-I don't think you're very polite.
-THANK YOU.
-Don't mention it.
-What kind of sleazoid geek would turn her in?
-Well maybe you should join a hippie commune. But let me tell you something. Sooner or later it's gonna be your turn to take out the garbage.
-What about giving the other guy a break.
-Give us a break. All you have to do is make a phone call.
-I thought I told you to lose this guy.
-Look, sergeant I know I said some things last time that I shouldn't have said at all but...
-I think the phrase was &quot;Sleazoid Geek&quot;.
-I'm sorry okay...we gotta find this guy because...he knew Vada's mom and he could tell her stuff that no one else knows.
-So charge him with something...who's gonna know?
-It's too bad about your mom. At least she went peacefully, I've seen a lot of people go out the hard way.
-What do you remember about her.
-Wow, you walked out with my mother?
-She was the uhh...first girl ever suspended for smoking.
-Suspended from school, my mother??
-I'm not authorized to trace licenses for civilians.
-Yeah, this is Sergeant Tanaka from Holenbeck, I need a current address for a Jeffrey....
-Pommeroy.
-Pommeroy...he may or may not be driving a black 54 Ford Pickup. Monday.
-I'm leaving Sunday.
-Do you wanna be a hall monitor all your life?
-Vada, try to scrunch these chairs together a little more.
-I got a card from your Uncle Phil in Los Angeles today, said he went body surfing.
-Do what?
-Well the thing is your room is right next door to ours, and so we thought, well, I thought, if you were willing we might move you to Grammoo's room, and use your old room for the nursery. See we're gonna be up half the night with a newborn and there'll be a lot of noise....
-You want me to move?
-Okay, no problem.
-Visualize a spare?
-Well you know what I mean.
-So, what's on your mind?
-Me? What makes you think there's something on my mind?
-You're passing up Archie Bunker to go bowling, you've gotta have an angle.
-Shelly's already told me all about sex.
-She told me too, I mean, she told me she told you about sex, I personally new about sex long before I met Shelly.
-Ahh, strike, not, not bad at all. No, this talk isn't about sex, it's, well there've been a lot of changes, and I know you're upset about losing your room, but the baby's gotta go somewhere.
-No it's okay, I understand, really.
-Maybe I should just move to China. One kid per family, that way you don't lose your room.
-Hey, why don't you just keep your room and we'll put the baby in the back yard.
-Don't do that, you've got the whole garage.
-Oh yeah, right-between the power mower and the weed killer.
-Dad I'm kidding, you can have the room.
-Seriously?
-Seriously.
-Dad, when a boy likes you, does he pretend that he doesn't like you? And if he pretends that he doesn't like you how can you tell that he likes you?
-What boy likes you?
-So you're saying...What are you saying??
-The Collected Works of Alfred Biedermeyer
-There's still a big spot on the floor.
-Okay, we need wallpaper paste. Hey Cece!
-Oh, is there anything else you remember, how did you propose? Was it romantic?
-She was talented, but honey I wish I could help you a little more, it's just that your mother and I had kind of a whirlwind courtship, she came to town with this traveling theater group, I proposed on our second date, two weeks later we were married and almost nine months later you were here and she was gone.
-Was it a nice funeral?
-You were just having a fight about me. Wouldn't you like to hear my opinion?
-Of course.
-I think that if I'm old enough to accept a new baby, and if I'm old enough to accept a new room, I'm old enough to go to California.
-Honey I know it's fun to think about these things but....
-I already bought a ticket.
-What??
-No nuns, got it.
-What does that mean?
-Bye Dad, I'll miss you.
-Thanks, I needed that.
-I'll be back in 137 hours.
-Hello? Sultenfuss Parlor.
-Hi Dad.
-Hi honey.
-I just called to say that I'm having a really great time.
-Good! You should go over and watch some Ted Carson.
-Yeah.
-Totally groovy huh?
-Totally.
-Ask him if he needs a good tuba player.
-I will. How's Shelly?
-Oh she's fine...ahh...umm the doctor just...ehh...told her to stay in bed and get a little rest and...'n stay quiet...just...just to make sure that...
-Okay...bye daddy, I love you.
-I love you too sweetie, bye.
-What happened to Shelly?
-She just had a baby that's all.
-We have a baby?
-Uh huh, a boy, you've got a new brother.
-Can I see him?
-Hey you're not eating your meatloaf.
-If I eat it I'll throw up.
-Well you should at least try a little bit.
-I don't know if I want to.
-Oh, she's fine, she'll love her new room.
-Oh, Shell, that's ridiculous, where are my needle nosed pliers?
-Well if there was an article about it I'm sure she did. She was always reading.
-Never heard of him.
-How about a nice glass of milk?
-I told you about the pumpkin didn't I?
-No.
-She can spread her wings, right here in Pennsylvania. You don't send a child alone to Los Angeles, she could come back with her ears pierced, her legs shaved and God knows what else.
-She is not a child Harry, she is a young woman, she's on the brink of...
-Disaster, disaster lurks behind every palm tree.
-Yeah and they forgot to ask for one who wasn't having hormone surges.
-Oh come on Harry, we're talking about five days here.
-Reason? What reason?
-I'm sorry I couldn't come pick you up honey.
-Maybe he's wet?
-Are you the Hillary Mitchell who went to school with Maggie Muldovan?
-It's okay really, I was just a baby.
-Thanks.
-His name's Harry Sultenfuss.
-Oh. Ohhh?
-What're you saying?
-Ummmmm, look, I...I...
-Are you saying my mother had another husband?
-Oh honey, back then...people did crazy things.
-Sure am, who are you?
-I am Vada Margaret Sultenfuss. My mother was...
-I was hoping I'd get to meet you.
-Umm...can you come in for a minute?
-Bye. She looks a little like me when I was a little girl.
-I'm glad you're here.
-You are?
-We have this school assignment to write about someone we never met and I chose my mother. She was born in Los Angeles and since my uncle Phil moved out here I came in to visit him and then I looked at her high school yearbook and... and I called a few people and one guy said that she went to UCLA, another guy
-Hillary Mitchell? How's she?
-Oh she's great...she's a little crazy though. Anyway, Hillary said that you had a black Ford truck and this policeman I know got in touch with Motor Vehicles and...he gave me your address and here I am.
-
-I told you it was a long story.
-That's all right, you know what? You sound just sounded just like your mother...she told great stories. Stories with crazy accents and...special effects.
-Special effects?
-Yeah like, switching a lamp on and off when she was talking about lightning...audiences love stuff like that. And your mom knew how to work an audience.
-I don't know very much about her...I was hoping that you could help me.
-And she saved it.
-Well, we didn't have a camera...so she just wrote the date on the bag and said, &quot;This will be out wedding album, this will be a day we will never forget.&quot; We never did.
-Do you have any pictures if her?
-She's beautiful.
-Would you like...eh...to have these movies?
-More than anything in the world.
-It's good to see Maggie again...and you.
-Umm...didn't you ever wonder about me?
-Well I didn't know about you until after she was gone.
-I thought that...umm...maybe you'd be curious about how I turned out.
-I'd say you turned out just fine.
-I guess what I mean is, my mother married my dad after you...and then I was born, so I thought that...maybe you got divorced because of me.
-Wait...woah...woah...wait a minute...Do you think I'm your father?
-Well...
-Maggie wanted to have a baby...and...umm...I didn't.
-oh.
-Hi.
-Come on in!
-That's okay.
-It's just a corpse.
-I know that.
-My mother can't have any more kids.
-What are you staring at?
-It's Kevin, I don't want him to see me.
-See you? He can smell you from there.
-What's the matter?
-He likes you.
-Likes me? He said I looked like a grasshopper.
-Boys always pretend they hate you when they really like you.
-That's ridiculous, so, if you really can't stand someone, then you pretend that you're really crazy about them?
-Hi.
-Hi, wanna help me pick out wallpaper for my new room tomorrow?
-Then what did she do?
-So she had you in jail, in Russia?
-Is it okay if I drink this?
-It's okay with me, hi Kevin.
-Vada, he was giving you an easy out so you wouldn't have to write about your mother.
-But I wanna write about her.
-You're crazy, what was her big achievement? Did she invent gravity?
-Oh please, who do you think you're kidding? And where did she spy on the Russians from, here in Pennsylvania??
-No, not here in Pennsylvania, she went to Russia undercover with her acting troupe and got a lot of highly sensitive secret plans sent back. Just when she was about to go home, she got caught, and they killed her.
-All right, so when did she have you between all her acting and spying and getting caught?
-Hello.
-Hi.
-What can I do for you?
-Ehh...I'm staying at the chateau and the guy who runs the garage there said that you're the best Jag people in town...so uhm.
-Well Enrique is great and...we are the best.
-Then I have come to the right place.
-I guess you have.
-I'm Sam Helburn. Sam.
-This is really very nice of you.
-If it's in here at all, it's in the back two rows.
-O.K. Thank you very much.
-He's writing. Hello?
-If you're selling Girl Scout cookies I'm borderline diabetic.
-Hi there...can I help you?
-Vada?
-Vada what about you, who have you come up with?
-My mother.
-Your mother?
-Hey Vada. How's your report coming?
-Great, I have so much to say, I hardly know where to start.
-You know I've been re-reading Virginia Woolf, I think she'd be a natural for you, she led a fascinating life.
-Thanks, but I think I'm gonna stick to my mom, she led a fascinating life too.
-Thanks
-Give it back Nicholas!
-But we made a business deal.
-Nicholas! What are you doing up?
-I...ahhh...umm...I'm thirsty.
-There's water in your bathroom.
-I want juice!
-Don't wake up Vada.
-If the fruit burst into flames I'll be prepared.
-You're grounded 'till you're fifty!
-You're over reacting!
-Make that sixty and I'm docking your allowance for two weeks.
-MOM!
-Thanks....
-No THANKS!
-He said it was a gift.
-Yeah, RIGHT.
-I don't need you to be telling me to...
-My parents had a brief, but intensely fulfilling relationship. She's remained a woman of mystery to this day.
-And you're gonna solve the mystery?
-You know eavesdropping is a very unattractive habit.
-I wasn't eavesdropping, I was overhearing.
-I didn't ask for the money, Phil just gave it to me.
-Getting off please.
-They obviously have no sense of historical perspective either.
-It's not funny! I mean what am I gonna do? Without that yearbook I'm lost. I can't just walk around town looking for someone with a Wilson High School Letter sweater!!!
-Vada.
-WHAT??
-I don't mean to alarm you, but I'm getting a nose bleed from the altitude.
-Just remember the needle in the haystack.
-I never did understand that story, did someone find the needle or not?
-What difference does it make?
-A big difference, if someone found it we should keep looking, if they didn't we're just wasting our time.
-Look, here she is. Margaret Ann Muldovan - Newspaper, Literary magazine, French Club, Drama Club, Debate Club, Girls Basketball and Swim team. With Maggie's combo of good looks and talent, we're sure to be seeing her name in lights. She was gonna be famous.
-Yearbooks always set you out for disappointment, I want mine to say: Nick probably won't amount to much, so don't be surprised if you never hear anything about him again. Can we go?...It smells like someone left their gym bag in here.
-It's the leather bindings, I love the fragrance of vintage books.
-Don't forget, the girls change their names if they got married.
-I'd never do that.
-Get married?
-Change my name.
-I don't think anybody should change their names, that way you can always find them when you need them.
-What if you don't wanna be found?
-You saved a lot of lives, you should be very proud.
-You ratted on my mother??
-Care for a smoke?
-This'll be great in my report, my mother was suspended for smoking.
-I think it's cool.
-You would.
-Just call us the &quot;dead end kids&quot;.
-Boy, you're really into this.
-If he has a heart attack you're carrying the body down yourself.
-Look at it this way, however bad I feel, it isn't as bad as becoming extinct in a bottomless pit of tar.
-And I thought I was weird.
-You are weird. Let's just go.
-Hey what do I care...I mean, consider the sorts, a chick from Pennsylvania, who wears a mood ring.
-This isn't just a mood ring.
-Does it work?
-Well, it doesn't open cans or anything but it...it's sort of a reminder of a friend of mine.
-Boyfriend?
-Do you think your friend's up in Heaven now, looking down on you and watching you all the time?
-Well, I hope he's not watching me all the time.
-Let me see if it changes colors on me.
-Maybe it'll fit my pinkie.
-Don't force it, you'll break it.
-I'm not gonna break it, I just wanna see it change colors.
-Hey relax, I'm not gonna break it.
-Give it to me!
-Come and get it.
-Just give it to me!!
-Just come and get it...right here!
-Woah, watch it!
-DON'T!!!
-Uh oh...
-What do you mean &quot;Uh Oh&quot;???
-...I dropped it.
-In the tar??
-Where are you going???
-What are you doing? You can't go in there!
-It's dangerous!!
-You mean, this ring?
-Never heard of her.
-Montgomery Clift, wait 'till I tell Shelly.
-My mother stood on this very spot.
-I'm afraid your feet won't fit in there.
-That's 'cause I was cursed with the Sultenfuss Bear Claws. My hands fit.
-What's he smoking?
-What do you think?
-Hey look!
-Right.
-And you'd be my cousin?
-Yeah I guess...sort of.
-But we wouldn't really be related right?
-Oh no, we wouldn't be from the same bloodlines or anything. We'd be like two total strangers who...accidentally had relatives that got married.
-Good. I mean...
-Marriage can really complicate things. So, aren't you gonna say anything about my earrings?
-It's not his fault!
-No, but sometimes he drives a hearse.
-Maybe not...but maybe it does. If no one told me about this, I mean...maybe they're trying to hide something.
-Like what?
-That thing you said about your nose...it was a stranger's nose...well it's not...it's...I mean...it's yours...you know?
-Nick?
-Yeah?
-And I'm gonna use the movies when I give my report. Jeffrey says audiences love special effects.
-...umm...Listen, I'm sorry...you had to sacrifice your entire vacation.
-Some sacrifices are worth it.
-You mean...it wasn't that terrible?
-I wouldn't say it was terrible...it was...kind of...
-An adventure?
-Write me a poem?
-
-No?
-I'll write you ten poems. Bye.
-Muh??
-What's that?
-Ten bucks.
-What's it for?
-For the mini-bike fund.
-Wow!
-Well I know you're not crazy about taking Vada around tomorrow, so...I just want you to know I appreciate it though.
-No problem.
-You're a good man Nicholas.
-Well Rose was being very thorough.
-Doctor Helburn, what a surprise. In the last couple of days we've changed your oil, realigned your brakes, balanced and rotated your tires, aligned your front end, and flushed out your entire cooling system, I really didn't expect to be seeing you for another three thousand miles.
-Okay, that does it, that does it, the strudel does it, first it's brakes then.... I mean I am not gonna let some Podiatrist with a Jaguar full of strudel come waltzing in here and....
-I'm not a Podiatrist, I'm a Cardiologist.
-Who cares? Rose, tell him we have an arrangement.
-And you certainly shouldn't settle for anything less that you deserve.
-You stay out of this, look, if I had a red XK-150 with a black interior, I sure as hell wouldn't be handing out relationship advice.
-I don't think the color of the interior is....
-Vada!! Vada runs and jumps into Phil's arms Look at you, oh hi, hi, hi!! How are you? You look great, how's Shelly? Your dad?
-They're great.
-How about Nick? Did he take good care of you?
-He was very polite, worth the entire five dollars.
-She lives here too?
-Ahh, that's right, like one big happy family. This is Nick's room and uhh....
-But...are you engaged or something?
-Sounds like you have a fear of commitment, Uncle Phil.
-That's ridiculous, I'm...I'm very, umm, what do you call it?
-Committed?
-Committed.
-So does that mean that you sleep here every night?
-Well then that's not exactly dating is it.
-I had to be, I only have five days. So just point me in the right direction and....
-Lock the door.
-Uhh sweetie, I wou... I wou...I wou...
-I feel like before I can talk to him I have to see his face.
-How's this for a solution. We'll take a drive over to his place, you can introduce yourself....
-I'd like to see his house but...I don't know if I'd have the nerve to just go up and knock on his door. I don't think I can go through with it.
-Do you think I should tell my dad about Jeffrey Pommeroy?
-Maybe.
-Then again, your dad's got his own memories and he's got his own life now...I think this is a secret just between you and your mom.
-A secret, I like that.
-This is it I guess.
-Well, I've come this far...the least I can do is knock on the door.
-You want me to come with?
-I should do this myself.
-Okay...take your time...I'll...I'll go for a walk around.
-No, you're the best and I don't want you talking to anybody on the plane.
-Dad already gave me this lecture. He's gonna meet me at the airport, then we'll go for some pizza, then we'll have dinner in bed with Shelly.
-Who knew that when I started working in the finest foreign car shop in LA, I would also find the light of my life.
-Yeah, well he left out a couple of steps, ah look, I've gotta get back to these bills, Phil will you help Vada get settled?
-Then you'll be all set.
-No, there's no problem, Dr. Helburn just needs to have his oil changed.
-What's with the touching, why was he touching you?
-He wasn't touching me he was just...gesturing...
-He was caressing.
-Phil for God sake.
-God? No I didn't think you'd want to invoke God Rose, because he saw even more than I did. ROSE Look Phil, if you want the rights of a husband, you're gonna have to ask me something but if not, you're gonna have to get accustomed to the rights of what you are.
-Oh...what's that?
-Hi!
-Oh, yeah, sure, help yourself.
-We may go out for coffee after the meeting so don't expect us before midnight.
-There's plenty of fruit.
-Wait, are you saying that I don't appreciate?
-I'm saying he asked me out for coffee, like a real date, when was the last time you did that?
-Wha...what do you mean? We have a date every night.
-Yes, what kind of arrangement? I'd be very interested to know what kind of an arrangement we have.
-You know exactly...what kind it is. Come on Rose...what do you want from me?
-I think this place is just fine.
-You know how I feel about you.
-You really think I look sexy in this smock?
-You're Nick's mother?
-I'm just tired.
-Go to your room. And you...I don't suppose your father gave you permission to pierce your ears, did he?
-Not exactly.
-Shelly's sick...I have to get to the bottom of this whole thing and get back there.
-She'll be all right baby.
-Bye Aunt Rose.
-So what's wrong?
-Nothing, nothing at all.
-I mean...with your car.
-Oh, ahh, oil change, I...ehh...I just drove in from Chicago and uhh...nice hair.
-Excuse me?
-I was commenting on your hair.
-Oh, are you a hairdresser?
-I'm a pediatric cardiologist.
-Oh, you mean you...fix the hearts...of little babies?
-...It's all in the hands really. You know you have nice hands, you operate?
-Yes, I do.
-Ahh, Dr. Helburn, why don't you come in tomorrow-morning at eight o'clock, that's when we open, we'll get you started.
-Good morning.
-Well maybe for you.
-Something wrong?
-Well let's just say you're lucky you deal with children who are under anesthesia.
-Oh no, I, I...eh...I couldn't.
-You couldn't?
-Well I'm sort of involved.
-Sort of?
-Let's just say I...eh...I'm involved.
-Where I come from, involvement...generally calls for a substantial piece of jewelry.
-Oh, well, I don't wear a lot of jewelry.
-All right, so you don't like jewelry but...eh...you do like...eh...good music. Liszt, one of my favorites.
-Lizt was my parents' favorite, they were Hungarian.
-Ahh, why don't I come in first thing in the morning and you can check out that left blinker for me.
-Oh, sure okay.
-Assuming the baby's a &quot;Supremes&quot; fan.
-They're enormous, I know.
-Is there milk in them already?
-No, the milk comes when the baby comes.
-When did you umm, I mean umm...
-Oh, I was a very late developer, they used to call me &quot;Shelly Two Backs&quot;. All my friends had real bra's, not like the training ones I had.
-Why do they call them training bra's? It's not like learning to ride a bike.
-I know, I guess it's just sort of preparing you for the rest of your life. It's not easy being a woman.
-Then Grammoo said on Christmas Eve, there was this sickening smell permeating the entire house.
-Mmmmmm. Root beer float that sounds good.
-What's this? December 8th, 1958?
-I don't know, Dad doesn't either.
-Well, it must mean something. She was obviously very sentimental.
-This is one of my favorite things, her passport.
-Margaret's my middle name, but everybody called her Maggie. Los Angeles, have you ever been there?
-No. You know they say, that it never rains, that you can barbecue on Christmas day...instead of riding your bike, you just surf over to your friends house. Oh, and the place is just crawling with celebrities. I know someone who saw Walter Matthau picking up his dry-cleaning.
-Is that why Uncle Phil moved there?
-Uncle Phil just needed a change, a little adventure.
-I wonder why she got a passport if she never went anywhere.
-Well you've gotta be prepared.
-Why not now?
-What do you mean?
-How would you like to go visit your Uncle Phil in Los Angeles...next week during your spring vacation, you could do research on your mom.
-But what about you and the baby? You need me.
-Oh, but I'm not due to have the baby for another six weeks or so.
-Yeah, it would be kinda great.
-It would be fantastic.
-But Dad'll never go for it.
-Shelly?
-Hey! Oh look.
-He's so tiny.
-Did it hurt a lot?
-Let me hold him.
-Really?
-Beidermeyer?
-Beidermeyer that's it, what a mad man.
-He's a great poet.
-He is?
-Do you know him?
-Everybody did, walk along Citrus between Fountain and Sunset any afternoon.
-No it doesn't but... I...I wish it did.
-Well, thanks for your help Mr. Rosenfeld and I'm sorry my mother wouldn't go out with you, I'm sure she would have had a really great time.
-I would have tried to show her a good time. I promised her when she left that I would never forget her and I never did. Stanley Rosenfeld does not forget.
-Arthur!!
-Vada!!
-I beat Thomas J in monopoly yesterday.
-Good for you baby.
-Once you put the hotels on board walk and Park Place he puts a shoe in your way.
-Wanna play?
-Yeah, to play with his DOLLS.
-Hey, you didn't pay me!
-How do I know you were gonna show us one?
-You're such a baby.
-Of what??
-Uhh, it's nice to meet ya. Uhh, we got burgers and hot dogs here if you'd care to join us?
-Danny?
-WHAT?
-Okay, I know you've suffered a terrible loss, and there's really nothing anyone can do to comfort you, but I urge you to focus on the times you had with the camper, the trips you took, the sights you saw, those days are gone now, but they'll live on in your heart forever.
-Oh.. Oh.. Oh no?? Oh?
-It's her home! It's where she lives!!
-What am I doing here????? What am I doing here?
-Hi Ralph. Oh Danny, how'd you find me here?
-I've been living in it for over a year, the camper is mine.
-Excuse me, MUTUAL ASSET, that's what the lawyer said, it's supposed to be &quot;OUR MUTUAL ASSET&quot;, not &quot;Shelly's recreational vehicle&quot;. Gimme the keys.
-Keep your voice down!
-What?
-The boss is watching us...
-I'm impressed.
-God I guess i'll have to introduce you now.
-This is Harry, Phil, Grammoo and Vada Sultenfuss...
-Ex...ex, ex...
-You are perfectly healthy.
-That can't be, I have all the classic symptoms.
-Sweetheart, did they bring Mr. Layton to your house today?
-Yes.
-Can't you see it?
-No.
-It's there.
-Dr. Welty!!!? Dr. Welty??
-Vada, what's wrong sweetheart?
-I can't breathe, I'm suffocating.
-It hurts, it hurts so bad, make it stop.
-What Hurts Vada?
-It's still available I hope?
-I think it's still available.
-I'm a licensed cosmetologist, I worked for two years, at the &quot;Dino Raphael&quot; Salon, all my customers cried when I told them I was leaving.
-Uhh, Miss devoto...
-I have a wonderful disposition, I put people right at ease.
-Uhh, Miss devoto, these people are already at ease. This is not a Beauty Parlor, it's a Funeral Parlor.
-They're dead?
-Yes they are.
-Stiffs??
-Deceased.
-Excuse me, what about the job?
-Pardon?
-I need the job.
-Oh, You still want it? Even though uhh...
-Ohh, oh sure it's no big deal, you see all my former clients will eventually die, and all your clients used to be alive, so they have something in common.
-You'd be doing hair and makeup and answering the phone.
-Okay Mr. Sultenfuss, you got a deal.
-Great, you can start right away. Call me Harry. Now, umm, is this what you'd normally wear for work? Don't get me wrong, I like it, very much, but the....
-Uh huh?
-Could you take a look at Mrs. Porter?
-You don't like it?
-This was the Reverend Porter's wife, you have her looking like a two dollar hooker.
-I think she looks nice! Her lips are very thin so I used the gloss to give them a more sensual quality, and her eyes just needed a little definition, and her hair, I'm sorry, nobody wears this hairdo anymore in 1972.
-She did. This photo was taken a month ago at the church food drive.
-I just wanted to get past this &quot;old school Marm&quot; image.
-Harry? I was just wondering, if there is anything wrong with Vada.
-What do you mean??
-Well the other night at dinner...
-Oh that, she just likes to play.
-I don't think so, I think she's confused about death.
-She was raised in a funeral home, she knows a thing or two about it.
-Harry, I really think she.....
-Can not do without, Harry's wild about me.
-Excuse me Harry, I'm sorry, I just wanna let you know that the flowers were delivered. And the room's all set up.
-Thanks, listen I wanna apologize for the other day downstairs, about Vada, I was a little harsh.
-I shouldn't stick my nose in other people's business. It's just that I like Vada, very much.
-After my wife died, Grammoo moved in here to help take care of Vada. They were very close, but lately as her mind's been wandering more and more, Vada's been acting kinda crazy. I'm sure she'll snap out of it though.
-Hi.
-Oh Hi, what can I do for you?
-Nothing, I was just wondering what you were doing.
-Oh, I'm just typing up a funeral notice, you know when someone dies people want it in the paper usually, it's a service we provide for the family.
-Oh right, right, . Bader Lorenzo Died June 22 1972 Devoted husband to Nicolette. Cherished father of Babritzio and Heidi, In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the holy names society.
-I wrote that.
-Oh it's good, &quot;In lieu of&quot; I love that word lieu.
-I prefer it to &quot;instead&quot;, it has more dignity.
-In lieu... &quot;instead&quot;.... No contest.
-It's no big deal.
-You have to learn how to take a complement. Movies, movies, ahhhh, &quot;Love Story&quot; at the drive in, I cried my eyes out, did you see it?
-I haven't been to the movies in AGES.
-I do enjoy playing bingo, if you'd like to join me for a game tomorrow night at church you're welcome to.
-Does it make it easier to win?
-I just had a terrible thought Harry.
-What's that?
-I'm gonna be putting makeup on some of these people very soon.
-Oh, I'm just not lucky Harry.
-Look, it's not always luck, I mean, depending upon the placement of the numbers, a guy with 10 cards could win just as easily as a guy with 100.
-Kinda like men.
-Oh, how do you mean?
-I had a good time tonight.
-Would you like to come in and see my house? Just for a minute.
-Home sweet home.
-It's nice.
-I did it myself. I read a magazine article about how to maximize small spaces.
-Well it certainly looks bigger that it seems.
-Yeah.
-Are you mad at me?
-No, why?
-I don't know, tonight you just seemed a little cool, not opening car doors and...
-Oh, that was Phil, trying to give me advice on dating 70's women. Look I'm so out of touch, I haven't dated women in ages, not since my wife died.
-What happened to her?
-Ahh, complications during child birth, she died two days after Vada was born.
-Did she ever see Vada?
-Dance with me?
-Here?
-This is where we are.
-I haven't danced in.....
-Rock?
-See, you're not that out of touch. You're good.
-What are you wearing?
-Do you want to?
-Want to what?
-Kiss me.
-Yes.
-I ahh, better go.
-It's only eight o'clock.
-Goodnight Shelly.
-I'm tired of bingo, maybe we should try that drive in of yours.
-I'm just picking some things up for the barbecue.
-Yeah, me too, mind if I tag along?
-Not at all. Lot of potatoes!
-It's for Shelly's famous potato salad.
-You know this is gonna be my first 4th of July picnic in a long time.
-How's it going chef?
-Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay God.
-Shelly?
-Danny that's a real _bonehead_ thing to say!
-Well, you were pretty great!
-Can we see it from the back yard?
-Yep, there they are... They always look the same every year...
-Pointing upwards Look...
-Did you ahh, love him?
-Watch you don't knock out a fish.
-Perfect.
-Open your eyes, she's eleven years old! Her only friend in the world is dead.
-I know that, but what do you want from me?
-Stop hiding Harry, you run Harry. When I first came here, the idea of working with dead people, didn't exactly thrill me, but when I saw a family lived here, I thought, &quot;if I'm living without a family, at least I can work with one, and maybe once in a while i'll be invited in for supper.&quot;
-Yeah, and when those suppers are disrupted because there's a car crash, or there's a fire, or a little boy steps on a beehive.
-I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet seat at a Truck stop and caught hemorrhoids. And i've learned to live with this chicken Bone that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years, so I knew Dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction. Dad, I don't wanna upset you, but my left breast is developing
-Ahem.
-Daddy guess what I beat Thomas J in monopoly yesterday.
-Vada, we're trying to work here.
-Cruella deville stole all the puppies, she was gonna make a fur out of 'em!
-VADA!
-Dad?
-Daddy, how come that coffin's so small?
-They come in all sizes honey, just like shoes.
-Of course not.
-Daddy, can I have thirty five dollars?
-That's a lot of money for a little girl.
-It's for school, for summer writing class.
-Shelly thinks I'd be a good writer.
-Dad?
-I love this guy!
-Dad??
-What?
-The money?
-Goodnight Vada.
-Dad, why are you dressed up to go to bingo?
-Ahh, I just wanna look nice.
-You never cared before.
-Well Shelly's coming over, we're gonna go together.
-Why?
-She likes to play bingo.
-Can I go too?
-HEY, OUCH, damn it!! Vada, watch what you're doing.
-Dad, didn't you say you needed prunes REAL bad?
-Are they ready yet?
-When?
-When??
-Yes..
-I like the freak show.
-We're having the wedding sometime near the end of the summer.
-I fall asleep at the wheel.
-Hi Vada.
-Hi.
-What are you doing.
-Feeding my fish.
-Is that the fish you won at the carnival?
-Yes.
-Vada, something happened to Thomas J last night, he stepped on a beehive.
-Maybe I should go over and yell at him.
-No sweetheart, you can't.
-Why not?
-He was allergic to bees.
-He's okay isn't he?
-He's gone sweetheart. He's gone!
-Did I kill my mother?
-What??
-The bees killed Thomas J, and I killed my mother.
-I found this.
-I forgot about that picture, where did you find it?
-In the garage.
-Ahh, that little Chevy was your mothers favorite car.
-What was my mama like?
-She was pretty, and kind, she had your eyes. Oh boy did she love to laugh. Sometimes when you laugh, you sound just like her.
-Really?
-Uh huh. You know what your mother did when she found out she was gonna have you? She came home and painted this whole room pink. She was so sure she was gonna have a little girl.
-Do you miss her?
-Yes, I did, very much for a long time, and even now, I get a little sad when I think of a pretty flower or a sunset that your mother would have liked.
-I think every time I see a climbing tree i'll think of Thomas J.
-Well well well, what's going on in here?
-Nothing, I'm dressing.
-Oh yes, oh that's great.
-I'm very nervous.
-Why?
-The last date I had was twenty years ago.
-That's true. Harry Harry sit down, let me fill you in on today's women, since the last time you dated, something happened, &quot;The Sexual Revolution&quot;, now before that, you used to have to hold a door open for a woman, pull her chair out, pick up the check, no more no more, you wanna know what else is missing? BRAS!
-Oh come on.
-Harry, I'm serious, trust me Harry this woman's lifting us in, you gotta treat her like every Tom Dick and Harry.
-Are you sure about all this?
-Did you not tell Vada I'm a womanizer huh?
-Oh, I'm running late. Shelly'll be here any minute.
-Oh she's picking you up, good you're on the right track.
-No, she's just driving over here, then we're taking my car. How do I look?
-Harry Harry Harry Harry Harry, I told you to use fewer briquettes and now look what you've done. You've cremated them.
-That's what I do. Do you wanna do it??
-No, no no....
-Hi.
-Hi, is Vada home?
-Yes she is, but she's very upset, so she's not seeing anyone.
-Oh, I'm Judy, I go to school with her, I wanted to tell her I'm sorry about Thomas J.
-Well maybe she'll feel better in a couple of days.
-Will you tell her I came by?
-Sure.
-Thank you. Bye.
-Mademoiselle Sultenfuss and the amazing Dr. J! How's the summer treating you?
-It's okay. Mr. Bixler, I finished all the books for summer reading.
-Really? Already? The summer's just begun.
-Yes, and now I'm reading War &amp; Peace for fun.
-Mr. Bixler, how come you're painting this old house?
-Well I just bought it, now I'm fixing it up.
-This is one big house for one single person.
-Well, you never can tell... I might get a pet.
-How are you gonna get the money for this old house if you're not working?
-Well I'm gonna teach creative writing this summer, so, I'm doing some work.
-How much does it cost?
-Thirty five dollars.
-What do you get for that?
-Me, two hours a week, talking about poetry. This an interrogation Vada?
-No. Well, guess i'll go home and finish off War &amp; Peace.
-I paid the money.
-For this class?
-Uh huh, I wanna be a writer.
-Uhhh, va, uhh, Vada.
-I wrote a poem too.
-Please.
-Okay, okay we don't have to talk about him, Vada, Vada we don't have to talk about him, it's okay. We won't talk about him all right?
-Justin and Ronda say that I should tell people what I feel.
-Mr. Bixler, I love you.
-Oh, Vada...
-I love you like my Dad loves Shelly. I wanna live here.
-Pause as he takes all this in I think your Dad would miss you.
-Who's that?
-No....
-I...I was gonna bring her to class next week. I wanted to hear your poem. Oh Vada, please honey I cared for him too, Vada please! Vada, Vada sweetheart don't.....
-I can't stay, I just came to read my poem.
-We'd love to hear it.
-So you fill it with water like this, and what have you got? A water gun.
-Cool, can I get one for Vada?
-Cause she's dying.
-Do you think she is?
-No.
-Why do you think she says that?
-Cause she gets scared of all those dead people in her house, and you know that saying, If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, well if she's one of them, she won't be as scared.
-He must like Shelly, I never saw him hit anyone in his life.
-He likes her.
-Does he love her?
-Probably.
-Do you like her?
-Yes I do, and I think she's very good for your father.
-Why?
-After your mother died, he was sad all the time, but before that, he was pretty funny.
-Really?
-Now when I see him with Shelly, sometimes he seems like the old Harry.
-My Dad was funny?
-Is that your camper?
-Yes it is.
-She's shy.
-Who's winning?
-You know Vada, you shouldn't let those girls upset you.
-He's allergic to everything.
-Ooh, that's a pretty ring you're wearing.
-Maybe black means you're happy?
-Shut your big fat mouth!
-I think you'd make a fine writer, did you ask your Dad?
-He won't give it to me.
-Vada? VADA?? What happened??
-My ball, I lost my ball.
-Hi.
-Can we look around in your camper?
-Big Ringo fan.
-Ohh, right. Would you like a soda?
-I would.
-Did you read ALL these books?
-Uh huh.
-What are they about?
-Are you married?
-No, I'm divorced.
-Daddy said it's bad when people get divorced.
-Bye. Well Miss Vada, what d'you say we head back?
-Can I use your bathroom first?
-Sure.
-You don't have to wait, daddy'll be mad if you're late.
-Are you going out somewhere?
-No.
-So how come you're putting lipstick on?
-A girl's always gotta look her best.
-I think lipstick looks fake, no-ones lips are that color.
-Have you ever tried any?
-No.
-Shelly, do you think I'm pretty?
-Yes, Vada I think you're very pretty. You've got these great big sparkling eyes, the cutest little nose, an amazing mouth.
-The boys at school don't think I am.
-They'll come around. Close your eyes, I wanna bring out the gorgeous color in them. The first rule in applying eye makeup, is you can never wear enough blue eye shadow.
-Do you like putting makeup on people?
-Ssshhhhh, I don't want them to see me.
-Hey, I thought I recognized you two, hi Vada.
-Hey Shelly, like seafood?
-Uh huh, why?
-I like my name.
-This is Danny and Ralph, they own the Dino Raphael salon in Detroit. We used to be married.
-I don't think that that roller coaster agreed with your bad stomach. You know Vada you have to watch what you eat here, I remember one time I went to a carnival with my cousins David and Frank, and they both ate hot dogs, and the next day they came down with nephritis.
-Nephritis? It's a kidney disease, you don't get it from hot dogs.
-I won, I won!!!
-Vada? Would you like us to get you another goldfish?
-NO!
-Daddy??!?!?!
-Vada, Vada, what's the matter?
-Where's Daddy?
-Well he just left, what's wrong?
-I'm hemorrhaging.
-What do you mean you're hemorrhaging?
-How old are you?
-I'm eleven and a half.
-My Mommy and Daddy did THAT?
-It's actually a very beautiful thing, and look there wouldn't have been a Vada.
-I think it should be outlawed.
-It's okay sweetheart.
-I'll pay it back, besides, I don't think i'll ever go to class again.
-I'll tell you what, you dedicate your first book to me, and we'll forget about the whole thing.
-I will I promise.
-Goodnight.
-Thomas J?
-I'm allergic to it.
-Wow, this is the coolest thing, like you really eat and sleep here?
-Uh huh.
-I'm gonna drive us to Liverpool.
-Eeeeuuuww, gross.
-Well, I guess you found my secret hiding place.
-What are you saving for?
-Oh great!
-I knew he wouldn't come.
-Hey look at this, no feet!
-At what?
-That's Mr. Bixler, let's go talk to him.
-I don't wanna talk to a teacher, it's summer!
-No, I'm going home.
-Why? It's not dinner time yet.
-It doesn't work, it always stays black.
-She's crazy, she wants to go to school over the summer.
-It's not a real school, it's a writing class, I wanna be a writer.
-Maybe they had a big breakfast.
-I'm gonna be an acrobat when I grow up.
-Big deal, I can do that too. Thomas J, you got something!
-Oh no! UUH.
-Hurry!
-I'm trying.
-Reel it in. He's only tiny, throw him back.
-Yeah he got away. Come on let's go.
-Hey, we can become blood brothers.
-Naah, I don't wanna.
-You could pick that scab on your arm.
-It's a mosquito bite.
-It'll bleed.
-If I do it, can we go?
-Uh huh.
-Your lip bleeding?
-No.
-What's wrong with your eyes?
-A girl can never wear enough eye shadow.
-Where's your bike?
-Hey look at this!
-That was Grammoo's. It's a phrenology chart, they used to study the bumps in your head to see if you had a good personality or not. Come here, i'll diagnose your head.
-No, I don't wanna.
-Hmmmm, interesting.
-What?
-You have no personality.
-Hey, where does it say that?
-Is that your Dad?
-Yes.
-Who's that with your Dad?
-It's my mother.
-Do you remember her?
-No. Grammoo said she's in heaven.
-What do you think it's like?
-What?
-Heaven.
-I think, everybody gets their own white horse, and all they do is ride and eat marshmallows all day, and everybody's best friends with everybody else, when you play sports, there's no teams, so nobody gets picked last.
-But, what if you're afraid to ride horses?
-It doesn't matter, 'cause they're not regular horses, they got wings, and it's no big deal if you fall, you just land in cloud.
-Here.
-Don't DO that!!
-Sorry.
-What do you want? My mom will skin me alive if she finds I'm out here.
-Let's go to the church, they're playing bingo tonight.
-I told you i'll get in trouble.
-Pacifist!
-I am not.
-Bed wetter!
-They're not gonna let us in Vada, we're kids.
-We're not gonna bet, we're just gonna watch.
-Watch bingo? I don't even like to play bingo.
-Can we go yet?
-Go???
-Hey Vada, guess what we got?
-THIS!!
-Woah!!
-What?
-Pointing There's a beehive right there!
-So?
-Are you crazy, you'll get stung!!
-You're right, let's knock it down.
-What do you want it for anyway?
-Got it!
-Run faster they're after us!!
-I am running faster!!
-Jump in the water!!
-But I have my clothes on!
-Hi Vada.
-Hi, wanna ride bikes?
-Come on, let's go.
-Bye Mrs. Sennett.
-California, I'm going to Hollywood to live with the Brady Bunch.
-I wanna live with them too.
-No, you can't, they have enough kids, you'll have to live with the Partridge Family.
-Get up!?
-Why are you running away?
-My Dad gave Shelly a ring.
-Wow, was it a decoder ring?
-You're such a retard, it was an engagement ring.
-So now you'll have a mother.
-I don't like her.
-I do, she's real funny.
-He likes her better than me.
-I'm hungry, I can't last any longer.
-Then go home, baby.
-I have to anyway, my mom will be worried.
-Leave then, some friend you are.
-You can come to my house for dinner?
-No, I'm hiding out.
-Oh, that's probably Thomas J, I don't wanna see him. It's not fair. Nothing happens to boys.
-Hi Vada, can you come out?
-I dunno..
-Well when you get older, you just have to.
-I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler.
-You can't marry a teacher, it's against the law.
-It is not.
-Yes it is, cause then he'll give you all A's and it won't be fair.
-Not true.
-Have you ever kissed anyone?
-Like they do on TV?
-Uh huh.
-No.
-Maybe we should, just to see what's the big deal.
-But, I don't know how.
-Like this?
-Uh huh. Okay, enough practice.
-Close your eyes.
-Just do it.
-Okay, okay.
-Say something it's too quiet.
-Umm, Ummmmm
-You better not either.
-Well, let's spit on it.
-Seeya tomorrow.
-Okay, seeya. Vada?
-What?
-Would you think of me?
-For what?
-Yeah, it's in the contract.
-... trouser width, this is all classic. Which means safe, something I'd wear.
-I should look different.
-And I'm supposed to respect your fashion tips, because you're what, a New Yorker?
-Long trip. Pretty nice of you to come.
-What?
-Stay, huh?
-I honestly wish I could...
-You don't miss much.
-Is it ever embarrassing, having your bum kissed in public?
-Is it sad to be an editor, and bask only in reflected insincerity?
-See the pull of a book like Twenty Chefs, is not who I put in. It's who I leave out.
-Which is everyone you couldn't get in.
-Needs salt.
-Is Newsday a real interview, or just some cute guy you're setting me up w...
-Sometimes I do. Like for two months.
-No, no, the opposite. That's my best friend, Michael O'Neal. He sounds desperate to talk.
-Nine years, we've seen each other through everything. Losing jobs, losing parents, losing lovers... travelled all over, we've had the best times. The best times of my life, maybe. Just drinking and talking. Even over a phone.
-Kindred spirits.
-He's the salt of the earth. Kind and loyal and generous. The one constant thing in my life, is he'll always be there.
-Whenever George tells someone how steadfast I am, he always makes me sound boring.
-I've lost interest.
-Blood oath.
-You think...
-He's not proposing marriage, there's no way I'm buying one word of th...
-He can't do that to me!
-We'll never be the same.
-I have a suggestion...
-You have no appropriate sense of emergency. My best friend is ruining his life.
-No, he's ruining yours.
-Same difference. If you love someone, it's your duty to save them from themselves.
-You have a real philosophy of life.
-He's adored me for nine goddamn years.
-I can see why.
-Chill. We don't want your face coming off with it.
-Chill? Since when do you say ch...
-You flew all the way h...
-I noticed. I'm on the noon back. We have this thing with George's family in the Hamptons.
-What I mean, when I say annoyingly perfect, is that there is nothing annoying about her perfection. It is vulnerable and endearing. And that is annoying as shit.
-You like her.
-I was devastated.
-Go figure you.
-There are 18,250 nights in the next 50 years...
-You've been working on this, huh?
-This is my whole life's happiness. I have to be ruthless.
-And you believe that.
-He was in love with me every day for nine years. I can make him happier than she can.
-It's not his happiness you're feeling guilty about...
-I don't know the meaning of the word guilt!
-Impressive.
-I am breaking her heart in the short run, but doing her a gigantic favor! She would be miserable tagging along after this insensitive doofus!
-The man you love.
-Beyond reason. The feminist warrior will rise up in this kid, and she'll be standing over his sleeping form with a butcher knife, selecting from a short list of body parts!
-Someday she'll thank you.
-Jesus. You're supposed to take your make-up off before you apply the m...
-Zit cream?
-I wish.
-Neosporin?
-Try less appropriate.
-Ben Gay.
-Elmer's Glue?
-I give.
-How do you know you can touch that plug? Are you a licensed contractor?
-I suppose it's too late to start over.
-Two words.
-Major. Dish.
-You're going to say it, aren't you?
-Tell him you love him. With all your heart.
-I'm taking my next book to Viking.
-Tell him you've loved him for nine years, but you were afraid to realize it.
-I'm moving this book to Viking.
-Tell him you're afraid of love. Afraid of needing.
-Needing.
-Tell him you know this is the worst, dumbest, cruelest moment to do this to him. But there it is, and he has to choose.
-Digger and George are with family in the Hamptons until Monday morning. Brevity is even more in order than usual.
-I did what I came to do.
-I'll think about it. I'm okay.
-All I've heard, from the day I met Michael, is Julianne this, and Julianne that...
-Well, we're...
-My heart's in my throat, here. Right off, I have to ask this monstrous favor...
-Excuse me?
-But I can't be dry.
-Can you watch the road?
-This is a very presumptuous and burdensome fav...
-You can't believe what it'd cost to bring in a temp.
-The bridesmaids are my only two female relatives under forty. Identical twin debutantes from Nashville, who are basically vengeful sluts. With amazing bodies!
-Which was the disqualifying factor?
-I thought bridesmaids had to wear the same dress.
-What else did he tell you...
-That's why Michael and I were the wrong fit. Right from the start.
-Don't you have to be somewh...
-... luckiest guy in the Northern Fucking Hemisphere, is all I'm s...
-What? Because I'm a little understand...
-I'm excited Sports Illustrated gave him this kind of shot, he's only there a ye...
-It depends. If San Antonio sweeps Sacramento, we could start there. Or Phoenix. Or depending on Indiana- Clevel...
-Well. You've been introduced to the symphonic range of...
-How about...
-He sucks soup through his front teeth.
-A trademark move, don't touch it.
-But he sure can kiss.
-It's been awhile. I'll take your word.
-And loving him means loving all of this.
-Do you get nervous in small confined spaces?
-So it's sweet of you to be protective...
-Let me rephrase that...
-But nothing ever could, ever did, give me a moment's pause about this marriage...
-Do you get hysterical in small confined spa...
-You'll always be there. In his mind. The perfect creature he loved for all those y...
-Well, perfection can get wearing after whi...
-I'm not joking. I had to face up to all my competitive drives, and believe me, I've got 'em.
-No.
-And the answer was so simple.
-I was gonna predict that.
-You're enshrined in his heart and memory. Unassailable. Which works out great.
-I've missed a step.
-Jesus, we're trapped!
-Ju...
-It's not just clubs. This guy always knows the best everything. The best guitar store, the best beef ribs, the best Horowitz record, was he always like the...
-... always. The best dim sum, the best camping stuff...
-Stop, we're embarrassing h...
-About Michael's job.
-Oh, that. I forgot I even said th...
-I just think you're wrong, is all.
-I mean, he loves his job.
-But he always says...
-For the twins? What in the world is th...
-Gold dog collars? They don't have dogs.
-So... one almost has to...
-Exactly.
-Exactly what?
-He'll see right through it.
-In six months, he'll be happy, settled, successful...
-Your call. You can live a lie. In a fabulous selection of Red Roof Inns. Or you can make one desperate stab at hap...
-Uh, Kimmy...?
-Look at all this beautiful food, so lovingly prepared...
-Who? The jerk who's running your life?
-This must be... very, very, hard on him.
-When are you gonna come clean with your folks?
-Don't you see...
-If you're waiting for "Do you take this man?", that's considered poor form.
-Yeah, well, lots of couples are imcompat...
-In one minute. You are going to feel so foolish.
-WHY DON'T YOU JUST DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH MY HEART?
-I never want to go through this again.
-Have you sized up the groomsmen, Jules? As M. of H., you get first fuck. Don't pick the short, hairy, rich one.
-Well. See. That was a... reflex to see if it would...
-... look good on Kimberly.
-I saw the show.
-Wallace egregious residence, Mandy speaking.
-It's Jules, you guys haven't had a call from, say, Kimberly, have you?
-Ex-cuse me?
-I had this crank call? From some guy who thinks he saw her? I said, what would a bride be doin', on her wedding...
-If he gives you grief, I'll have him skillfully beaten, where the wounds won't show.
-I guess getting him whacked would be politically out of the question.
-Under the circumstances. Charmed to know you, Jules.
-They both have some growing up to do. But they're good people, they're starting with love. They've got time.
-Is anybody watching?
-Julianne, reading my son-in-law's mail, is not something...
-It's a fax from Sports Illustrated from Ben Isaacson, Michael's boss.
-I think he's been fired.
-It doesn't say th...
-And you think he's kept this to himself.
-Maybe. I should call Ben.
-I thought Michael was picking me up.
-I haven't caused... a problem, have I?
-Well, you're a little early...
-I've been calling for days!
-Well, that's great. You haven't really had anybody since Dingbat Jennylee...
-And she's all wrong for me!
-Well, somet...
-Well, sure.
-But they're so down to earth, such wonderful people...
-Michael, it's Wednesday night, you can't possibly be getting married on Su...
-Well, the Sox are at home. SI's letting me do a profile on the Big Hurt. That's Frank...
-Well, maybe we should talk ab...
-Please come, please.
-W...
-What's the sec...
-Best everything, Joe. But I'm going to dance with you.
-I just admire your maturity, that's all. I mean, there are people who would find that kind of perfection boring. Day after day, year after year...
-Luckily. The closer I watched, the more the fault came into focus. Each imperfection its own adorable slice of vulnerability.
-Such as.
-She's too genuine.
-Hate that.
-How can you trust someone you can never mistrust?
-No matter how many times I leave the toilet seat up, she forgets and puts it down.
-Endearingly absent-minded.
-Every day. She makes the bed.
-Quite the little eccentric.
-Is there a coup de grace in here, somewh...
-She admires. Tommy Lasorda.
-Waiter! Check, please!
-She finds him "personable."
-Gimme like, eight and nine off the top ten list...
-Where was that, Florence, huh?
-The Vespa? Me hanging on behind in the rain all night?
-Should I whistle down a cab?
-Pretty amazing girl, you've got. Make that kind of sacrifice.
-What, leaving school...
-I mean Walter owns the Sox, cable sports... most girls in her spot would be angling to get Daddy to offer you some juicy gig right here in t...
-I guess you're right. That would be deceitful... manipulative... controlling... emascula...
-Still. All's fair in love and w...
-You're not eating.
-I never eat when I'm serene.
-You never eat when you're despondent.
-Last zoo we were in was... Beijing, yeah? Sure. The rhinos were fucking.
-It's weird being the groom. All these things Kimmy has to take care of...
-Wow and wow. You have a date, after this?
-Why don't you start being honest for one fucking sec...
-No problem. A little bullshit about Daddy's "needs," and presto, I'm a lap dog in high society.
-Michael, it sounds like a wonderful opportun...
-You guys are heartless, my bride picked this out.
-Big weddings are so strange.
-Kim has all this stuff to do, I hardly see her.
-You miss her, huh?
-Don't you throw up on boat?
-I've been thinking a lot the last couple days. About us, actually.
-Well. There's a lot of memories to choose from...
-You've sort of been... y'know, the woman in my life.
-And I was thinking this could be our last time. Alone. Together. You know?
-Except for the hot affairs we'll have twice a year.
-I can hardly wait for your wedding.
-I wouldn't know. I never had that many first thoughts.
-Dance card filled?
-Where did we first hear th...
-So we heard it... like, right that... that first...
-Takes me back.
-No accents today.
-Will she like it?
-It's no big deal, she just gave you the wrong keys that's s...
-I'm up against a deadline.
-Me, too. I'm getting married tomorrow.
-I forgot how cute you look. When you get impossible.
-We could use... his computer, to... just E-mail those suckers right ou...
-Listen up, huh? Even if you blow this deal, how big could it be?
-This thing means that much to y...
-The fax is from Ben, too. Man, it's my wedding, and my boss can't leave me alone...
-Michael? What ha...
-Isabelle? I need to talk to Kim...
-"Mike, the funny thing is, he's offering you a gig you'd be stupid to turn down..."
-I'm just tired. Please put her on? Thanks.
-What happened?
-She denied it. Said I was crazy and paranoid.
-Michael...
-No, it's for the best, it really is. We were so wrong for each other.
-Maybe tomorrow, you'll feel dif...
-Should we take a walk? Or maybe some food sent up, or something...
-Or we'll go somewhere. If you have the time.
-I had the craziest dream last night? Walter and Kimmy had asked your boss to...
-Look, I came down here to face everybody. I didn't want to slink away like some coward...
-But the Scotch salmon was so fucking good, you decided to stay for brunch!
-She hasn't told anybody, what am I supposed to do?
-This is her family and her fault.
-And your point?
-Well. How come she didn't...
-I asked you...
-Does that make it right...
-Thank God you were here.
-Oh, yeah.
-I was so confused, so conflicted, so... unstable.
-... your one chance for true happiness?
-... yeah, that.
-The Big Hurt, huh?
-What's up?
-Jules, what's wrong...
-Uh. I saw that moving...
-You're not saying you actually... you're saying that y...
-... wrote it, yeah. I'm the bad guy.
-I mean, do you realize what you've... well, of course you realize, that's why you're confessing, I mean... I mean... how could you do that?
-Actually. Lower. I am the fungus that feeds on pond scum. Lower. The layer of mucous that cruds up the fung...
-Lower.
-Lower.
-I'm so glad you didn't jump on that train, before...
-Why would she come here...
-I never forgot that.
-It's two weeks.
-Almost three.
-You can't believe you've lost her! Sooner or later, you'll find her, and you'll look in each other's eyes, and you'll see all that love...
-Course, if it's later rather than sooner, I'd hate to be you at six o'clock. You've got a lot of explaining to...
-I'm just thinking of how she's hurting. Lost. Alone. Like her life is over.
-Okay, we'll split up. You go to every romantic place you guys have, I'll go... someplace brilliant, and the first one who...
-The kiss. May be hard. For you to explain. Because the only fear she really has, is...
-Well, the school will be here. Architecture will still be around. Right now...
-I travel every week. College ball, motor sports, training camps...
-Because I could come...
-It's not just a gag, huh?
-He never mentioned that. Neither did y...
-He needs someone incredible, someone really close, who he can trust...
-It would only be, maybe, six months? Or three or four? It would mean so much to him...
-And to m...
-All of a sudden, I'm supposed to drop out of school, forget my family, forget my career, forget all the plans I had for my life...
-I'm sure glad I'm hearing all this now, before it's too late!
-What is that sup...
-What a sweet little picture. Mommy and Daddy aren't losing a daughter, they're gaining a eunuch!
-Well, if that's the way you f...
-Fine. I'm an insensitive, chauvinist asshole, and you're well rid of m...
-Reverend Dyer, this is Kimberly's somewhat butch maid of honor...
-Kimberly wanted to tickle the grandmas, so we figured, give 'em a cheap thrill. Walter supplied the decorative touches...
-Nose tackle from the Bears... power forward from the Bulls... defenseman from the Black Hawks... my personal favorite, the designated hitter...
-... I'm partial to the tight end.
-And yet here you are. All celibate and reclusive.
-Maybe it's happy there.
-Oh the way out of the crab house? We asked Michael if we could see the ring?
-He said you told him. It'd be safer with you.
-Personally, I think Mr. Michael's marrying the wrong girl.
-You got the money?
-Right here.
-Well, don't lose it. Last time I gave you twenty-five dollars, you lost it.
-Well, that just happened that time.
-You lost twenty-five dollars once before that, too, near Christmas time -- I remember that real well now. December 9th, to be exact.
-You got a real good memory, Star.
-I remember when I just saw you. Skinny Winnifred. Jesus, you were skinny.
-What do you have to buy?
-Feed, mostly. Thought we'd get something for the kids.
-Okay by me - I'd sure like to see that Opryland.
-What?
-Grand Old Opera --
-I hate that music.
-Winifred.
-Hi! Star.
-Winifred, the kids want you home and so do I.
-I won first prize.
-You're from out of town?
-Yes. I'm cutting a record.
-We have a Bible study meeting tonight if you'd like to come.
-Is there food?
-No.
-Well, I just wondered 'cause being from out or town I wouldn't be able to make anything.
-I called Connie and she said not to worry, She'll fill in for you.
-Barnett, please -
-What's wrong honey.
-I don't want to listen to her sing -
-Don't feel that way, honey.
-Then why are you listening to her -
-Well, I have to go thank her for filling in and it's nice to know the tune she sang.
-You have to what?
-Barnett?
-Oh, Barnett, I'm so sorry.
-Honey, it's okay... How do you feel now?
-Don't worry, I'll take care or it
-Am I disturbing you?
-Oh, honey, I didn't mean to scare you.
-How did you come in here?
-Well, I guess you caught me at a weak moment.
-I said, I've been real tired.
-Eater says she doesn't see how you do it.
-What's wrong with her.
-Oh just about everything, I guess. Those doctors started on an overhaul and don't want to quit. They keep taking things out. She's going to come home an egg shell. Tough, though.. She's tough.
-What did you say your name was?
-It's fine. We were just talking about Vitamin S.
-I'll go on. Ester'1l be very glad.
-You going today?
-Thank you-- Yes, I am.
-I'll tell Ester, she'll be thrilled I saw you again.
-You get her those Vitamin E right away.
-Well, Bye, Bye now. We have to go.
-I'm sorry. I feel as if I know you. I'm John Triplette... a friend of Del Reese... I was at the airport. I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a great fan of hers. If there's anything you need, just give me a call. I'm at the Sheraton South.
-She's going to rest now.
-I appreciate your concern, but she has to rest, so you can go on home.
-What do you really want?
-Not a thing, Barnett, really. I need a little information. But, ah, it can wait.
-You bet.
-Yes.
-Barnett, John Triplette. How's she doing?
-She's fine.
-Well, I just thought I'd call.
-Well, that's not entirely true, Barnett. At least not according to Haven.
-Haven? Hell,' we've been playing poker together since we were fourteen.
-I guess that's why he thought you right want to help out.
-He knows better.
-Well, it's probably because it would help him.
-How is that?
-Everybody likes to be as good as their word.
-Whose word?
-His Word.
-His word? Are you telling me Haven promised you something?
-What?
-They can come to the concert in the park.
-I got trapped and you know it, so let's have some rules.
-Absolutely. Listen, Barnett, I understand your position.
-No, you don't, so don't say you do. Bunch of damn liars. What do you get out or this?
-Nothing; Barnett. It's my job.
-How is she?
-A little slow, but she'll be fine.
-Have you talked to Triplette?
-Who the hell is he?
-He's lining up talent for Hal Phillip Walker.
-Who the hell is he?
-He's going to run for president.
-Third party?
-He has that sign with the tree.
-What does he want?
-Barbara Jean.
-What!
-That's what he wants.
-You know better than that.
-It's on National television, Barnett.
-Well, how about the shopping center?
-Yes. She's pretty rested up.
-Okay, then we'll see you there.
-Hi. I'm John Triplette.
-You want anything? A drink?
-Oh, no, listen, I don't want to take up too much of your time.
-Well, I'm here putting together a show. It's a benefit really.
-Whose?
-What's he running for?
-National television?
-ABC.
-How much?
-Where'd he ever see us?
-D.C.
-D.C.? Tammany Hall? He came there?
-Okay.
-Bastard
-President?
-It's an appearance. It has nothing to do with support. I don't even like him.
-You're kidding.
-Yes, but we're just singing.
-Howdy.
-Where are you going?
-Hey!
-Listen, we're suppose to sing on TV day after tomorrow. At the park...
-National?
-Come on. He's a crook.
-He saw us at Tammany Hall.
-Sorry to bother you, Bud.
-Need to have you check these out before he goes on that Walker benefit.
-Sure thing. Put them here... I'll take them.
-Thanks... I'll... go say hello to your mom.
-She's in Paris.
-Oh... Well... Have you heard from Barnett?
-Not yet.
-You bet.
-He's my father.
-He got killed at a turkey shoot.
-Your brother?
-Yes. I was in my Sophomore year at Harvard.
-Harvard?
-Business School so I can run Haven's business.
-What is a turkey shoot.
-You go out in the woods and shoot targets -- Whoever shoots the most wins a live turkey
-How in the world did he get shot?
-Do you know Barbara Jean?
-Sure do. Good friend of Haven's.
-Haven's not going to talk to me.
-HI. Look at those flowers. Did you grow those.
-Ester and me did; My niece picked then. She's just here from California.
-Well, Mr. Green.
-Hi, Sherry.
-Mr. Green?
-Yes, ma'am. How are you today?
-Didn't you get?... How are you?
-I'm fine. Can I go up?
-You want me to wait?
-What?
-Yes, sir.
-Can I help you?
-Yes, sir. I need a room
-I didn't think it would. She's calling herself L.A. Joan this- week. Last week it was Dakota. Guess if you have to change your name a state's as good as anything.
-She sure sings nice.
-My wife and I think so, but we're family. Your family's always good or bad depending on how you look at your family. What do you do, pick or sing?
-When you run out or money, 'cause you will here, you can go sing at Bishop's Pub. They let you pass the hat. All these kids do that. Most every place doesn't want to bother with you.
-Well, don't be shy. I got the address here. Anytime you need it. Room's twenty-five dollar! a week and you can have breakfast with me if you like.
-Listen, do you know anything about cars?
-Sure... you're a fine boy, Ken, you really are.
-Okay... you get to sleep. I'll see you in the morning. Good night.
-Did you see who that was?
-Glad to see you. Ester'll be glad, too.
-He is just wonderful.
-Uh huh.
-You know anything about the stations here?
-It's hard to say. Doctors thought she'd come home a week ago. All it was was appendix.
-All they got is advertisements. Just like L.A.
-Well, I could use one, especially if I'm pregnant.
-What did you say?
-I said, maybe I'll change my name again.
-I see... Well, those doctors are real miracle workers.
-But not unless Nashville really inspires me.
-Maybe you can look after me a little.
-What's this?
-Replacement party.
-Who's that?
-A guy named Walker. Amazing person. He's developed a huge following.
-How do you know?
-Well I've been following him around Just listening to him --He says he can really win -- I bet he can too - -
-You must really like him.
-Well, he's really amazing.
-Listen, your Aunt Ester just died. I'm... sorry... Listen, I really Feel bad now about last night...We had no...
-I'm in a hurry, gonna see this great group record at Woodland.
-I mean, Mr. Green was so nice to me. He took me in and...
-Have you seen a woman about so high?
-No.
-She had on high heels?
-No.
-Hey, there - You seen my Winifred?
-No.
-You got a place to stay?
-No. Probably stay at a motel tonight.
-You in music?
-No.
-Wrecks.
-Ah, hello. My name is Kenneth Fraser... And I'm here from Terre Haute, Indiana. Ah, listen ... somebody stole my handles.
-We don't mess with accessories.
-Parts.
-Do you carry door handles?
-What kind?
-Nash.
-What year?
-Mom?
-I've been so worried, dear. where are you?
-Nashville.
-Oh... Well.
-The car broke down.
-Oh, well, I knew that before you- even left. I told you, 'Kenny, that old Nash won't make it down the road.' But you had to go.
-Well, I got to Nashville. That's pretty far.
-Next you'll be sick.
-I feel really good.
-How are you going to pay when you get sick?
-I'm in a rooming house with Mr. Green.
-Green? Not Owen Green. Owen Green embezzled money from your grandfather
-I don't know his first name.
-Bet the sheets are grey.
-No. No, they're white. He's got a nice dog.
-Worst time at year for dogs is when they get fungus.
-Fungus?
-He doesn1t have fungus, does he?
-I don't think so.
-Well, you'll get it, skin as sensitive as yours.
-Weather's been awful. All those bombs dropping. It changes our weather. Sure not like the good old days.
-Does their hair fall out?
-Listen. Maybe I should go...
-I've been a Little dyspeptic.
-I want to get the dog off my bed.
-Okay. I'll be talking to you.
-Keep warm, dear. Let me hear from you.
-Bye.
-Have your children been deaf since birth?
-Yes -- yes, they have. It was a real shock at first, especially since my daddy's a preacher, but Delbert and I have been blessed by their being here.
-When did you start singing?
-When I was little, in church.
-Isn't it unusual for you to be working with a black choir?
-Yes, it is --
-Well, can you tell me why?
-It just is.
-How long have you been with them?
-About three years.
-And before?
-Just my church and my boys. We all had to go to school and learn hand talking. I just thank the Lord they can see.
-Do you ever do any writing?
-No, I don't.
-Are you a close friend of Haven's?
-No, mostly his wife's. She's in Paris, France, right now. My husband Delbert is real friendly with him. Delbert's in law. Does work for him.
-Do you like him?
-Hello.
-Linnea?
-Yes. Who's this?
-I'm here.
-Who is this?
-Tom. You remember?
-I'm not sure. Where?
-Remember, about a month ago, your church choir cut a record?
-Yes.
-Well, I met you that afternoon in the control room and we...
-I'd really like to see you.
-Or course. You should come over to the house. The boys would love to meet you.
-Well...How have you been?
-Hello.
-Who is thin?
-Who is this? It's Tom.
-I don't know who you are.
-Hello.
-Wow!
-What?
-Who is this, right? I called you last night.
-Oh.
-I've got a gig tonight.
-Oh?
-End of Church Street. Next to a grocery store.
-Doesn't it have a name?
-You're really terrific, you know what I mean --LINNEA rolls over and faces him.
-I have to go.
-Wrong.
-I have to go. He sighs.
-Stay.
-I can't.
-When did you think it would happen?
-I'm not sure.
-I knew when I first met you.
-How old are you?
-Older.
-Thirty?
-Well...
-I'm twenty-eight
-Oh.
-Terrific! Who was that black guy? A friend of yours?
-That's unkind.
-I'll talk to you tomorrow.
-That's what you said before.
-I was in prison for twenty-eight years.
-Oh.
-Premeditated murder.
-Oh.
-Just got out. Had me thirteen lawyers. Missed the electric chair twice. .. Been out three months. Are you heavy?
-I'm not sure...
-I'm forty-six. Do you like to go up or down?
-What?
-All I need is fifteen minutes a night.
-Fifteen minutes?
-Sleep. That's all I need. Don't want to waste no time sleeping. You married?
-What...? 0h, yes.
-You know who that is?
-Yea.
-My mother. died in '72. They told me after. They said they couldn't find me before, so they told us after.
-What?
-They said go see the chaplain.
-Hello.
-Linnea?
-Yes.
-You sound different. Is that really you?
-It's me. What is it?
-Can you make a rehearsal in the morning...? Courtland wants to...
-What time?
-Eight-thirty in the chapel.
-I can do benefits
-I can only give you fifty a week here and ten bucks for the benefit.
-Are you sure you know what you're doing?
-Hundreds of times.
-Well, there's a couple of girls in Printers Alley if you got any questions. I know I've seen that G- string stuff for sale someplace around.
-That's for sure. At the airport - that's where it was. At the airport, there in one of those gift shops... Anyway, you better take a break.
-Hello. John Triplette.
-Hello.
-Oh, no.
-Wednesday at the park. We've got a lot of names coming in...
-For him?
-What for?
-What National TV...?
-You're doing some recording here, aren't you?
-An album.
-You don't know how pleased he'll be.
-Sorry I'm late.
-You're not.
-Where's Bill?
-Sleeping.
-Where are you going?
-How's your stomach?
-Pretty good. Sure was surprised to hear from you. You talk to Bill?
-Not yet. Listen, Norman, I want...
-You know Bill is really mad at you.
-Oh?
-I mean...
-We just got a gold record.
-Do they have a show to give it to you?
-No Hell, some secretary in New York just hands it to you. Only this one kept dropping it out of the box.
-Did it break?
-Dent it a little. Boy -- just she couldn1t even find it. She had a hamburger on her desk that looked three weeks old.
-How long have you been together?
-Probably a little too long.
-Do you study at all?
-Come on back to bed.
-Yeah, you bet. You're really terrific. You know what I mean?
-Come on.
-Hi.
-Hello.
-I'm Opal.
-Oh yes, I'm John Triplette.
-The architect His buildings are drippy. You know, like sand and castles. Then I got this assignment. They want to start in two weeks.
-Why?
-Why?
-What?
-Pleasure
-What do you think of him?
-Hal? Well, Hal and I have been friends for a long time.
-You go to school together?
-No, we never did that
-Oh --
-We're connected by a relative. One time, one of his aunts married one of my uncles. That was a long time ago, though. How'd you come to work for him?
-Well, I really think he's got a chance.
-You do?
-Oh yea -- There has never been a better time for something new.
-He ain't really new.
-He is to a lot of people.
-He was a good Judge, but that was a long time ago.
-You know, I'll bet you he makes it with a majority.
-Where are you from?
-Southern California.
-You always live there?
-Spent time in Arizona. Why?
-Well, I admire your optimism, and I just wondered if it was regional. You ever see any movie stars?
-I know a couple.
-No kidding -- Wait till I tell Linnea. Who?
-Ah... Peter Finch.
-Who?
-Peter Finch -- he's English.
-I never heard of him. Name somebody else.
-Ryan O'Neal.
-You really do? ~ God -- How come you know them?
-Oh, you meet them at parties and stuff.
-I'll be damned. Boy, if you could get Ryan to say something about Hal Phillip Walker, wouldn't that be something?
-Well -- maybe. Let's see what happens here.
-You want a ride into town?
-Got me an audition tonight.
-No -- That's exercises. My coach says you have to do exercise because the vocal chords are muscle and need to be stretched. Every time you stretch them, the middle part sets stronger. That's the place where I sing.
-You sure do it loud.
-Is that good?
-It's not bad.
-You think I should take lessons?
-If you're serious. Being serious is real important.
-You serious?
-Wade -- I've been working toward this audition for years.
-Well, honey, I sure hope it comes your way then.
-You think it will?
-Hi, I'm Sueleen Gay.
-I'm John Triplette. Excuse me. I got all caught up in looking at you. You'll be fine.
-Oh, why thank you.
-Now this is to raise funds for someone who can help people who are less fortunate than yourself. The more you take off, you see, more money we can raise.
-I see.
-Don't you think they'd just love another song instead?
-More or less.
-When you study the martial arts, they give out belts that come in different colors to signify what level you're at in your training. Am I correct on that point?
-Yes you are.
-What was the color of Tim's belt?
-The style of fighting that Tim studied didn't believe in belts.
-Is that a fact? Well then, Grace, could you tell us what form of martial arts it was that Tim was schooled in?
-Tim studied several styles, but his favorite was Jeet Kune Do.
-Jeet Kune Do...Now I did some research on that form of fighting, and I found out that Jeet Kune Do was a style developed by Bruce Lee. Did you know that?
-Now, while I freely admit total ignorance on the subject, I have heard of Bruce Lee. And I was under the impression that Bruce Lee was one of the, if not <u>the</u> greatest fighter in the history of martial arts.
-That's what Tim said.
-So, I think it would be safe to say that anybody who studied the fighting style that Bruce Lee, arguably the greatest martial artist of all times, developed for nine years, that would be a fella who could defend himself. Would you describe Tim that way, Grace?
-Point of fact, weren't Tim's hands registered as lethal weapons?
-That means his hands are considered a weapon like a gun or a knife. Am I correct on that point?
-Thank you. Grace, there is one other thing...
-What kind of pies do you have?
-Apple, pecan, cherry, and key lime.
-Which do you recommend?
-The key lime is great, but it's an acquired taste.
-I haven't had a key lime pie in ten years.
-When ya had it, did ya like it?
-Mallory, what did you think of Mickey's plan? Did you think it would work?
-It wasn't 'till we got on the ground floor that I totally realized they weren't gonna shoot unless we shot first. When we got out of the stairwell, I remember thinking, 'Oh my God. This might work.' But Mickey knew it would work all along. There wasn't any doubt in his mind. It's not like there was and he just didn't show it. He
-What did you think then?
-I wondered how long it would be before we'd get to be alone together. And I wondered if I could wait that long.
-Did you have anything to do with the riot in the laundry room?
-Haven't you been listening to a fuckin' word I said? ...Oh, I'm sorry. Can I say fuckin'? I can't, can I?
-Try to keep it to a minimum.
-Well, now me and Mickey are gonna take it easy. Just enjoy each other's company, stop and smell the roses, notice the color purple, stuff like that.
-How do you intend to disappear? you're probably the most famous couple in America.
-Naw, she don't mind.
-Now, when we get out there, you do what we say or it's curtains. If we say move, you move. If we say left, you move left. If we say right, you move right. If we say mole, you dig a hole. Got it?
-Are we in a big hurry?
-You got something you want to do?
-Yeah.
-By all means, knock yourself out.
-Mickey!
-Hasn't it?
-Divine intervention.
-Looked like an interview to me.
-Why are Mickey and Mallory being moved to an asylum? And who made the decision?
-The prison board made the decision. A board of which I belong. We're the who. The why is simple. Mickey and Mallory are mentally ill and need to be under a doctor's care, where hopefully they'll receive the help they need.
-Mickey and Mallory were deemed competent in a mental examination before their trial. I'm confused. What's changed?
-Well, since that time, they've killed one person during their trail. And since their incarceration, they've killed one psychologist along with several guards and inmates.
-When they were found competent before, they had already killed fifty people. Other than the fact they're a disciplinary problem, which frankly shouldn't surprise anyone, I still don't see where this situation is any different then it was before. So, I ask you again, Mr. McClusky, what's changed?
-What's changed, Mr. Gayle, is our minds. We felt they were competent a year ago. A year has passed, sir, a year where they were under close observation, day in and day out, and their behaviour has led us to believe we were wrong.
-Who is we?
-The prison board and the doctors who examined them.
-Were any of the doctors who made the first evaluation on the Knoxs mental state asked to re-examine them?
-Using the same doctors is not common practice.
-I take it by your answer it was a whole new team?
-Congratulations on the Curtis Fox case, Scagnetti. You put an end to a nightmare. The ladies of this city can get to sleep again, and they have you to thank.
-Thank you, sir.
-Who isn't?
-You been followin' the news coverage?
-They've been separated since their incarceration in a couple of penitentiaries---
-Susanville, Soledade.
-They've killed a shitload of inmates and guards---
-Look, our situation in a nutshell is, no prison wants 'em, no prison will take 'em. I'm even talkin' hellholes, where the warden's as hard as a bar of iron. No one wants those fuckin' assholes behind their walls, dealin' with 'em day in, day out.
-I can appreciate that.
-So can we. So the solution to our little problem is we had them deemed crazy. And we're shippin' 'em to Nystrom Asylum for the criminally insane.
-Lobotomy Bay?
-You've heard of it?
-So, how do I fit into this scheme?
-The public loves you Jack...You don't mind if I call you Jack, do you?
-By all means.
-You're a breathing icon of justice and that's why you were chosen to deliver Mr. and Mrs. Knox. We, the prison board we, knows that once you get them on the road if anything should happen, an escape attempt, an accident, fire, anything...Jack 'Supercop' Scagnetti would be there to look out for his public's best interests.
-I see.
-Who's the song bird?
-Because they wouldn't give them their blessing for marriage.
-...one night I was asleep, and a noise wakes me up. I thought, 'Oh shit, somebody's broken in.' I didn't own a gun, so I go into the living room with a fucking umbrella. Okay, it turned out to be nothing. God made the noise. Who knows?
-Looks like we got a Mexican standoff.
-Slide the shotgun over here, put your hands behind your head, put your forehead on the floor.
-Or what? You'll wound me? I can blow you in half and you know it.
-Did you ever see 'Eldorado?'
-Okay, buddy boy, where ya keepin' Mallory? I know she's still here, and I know you know where. So, start talking or my first work as a director will be your death scene.
-She's in the holding cell, on this floor.
-Yeah.
-How come you never talk?
-She was born without a tongue.
-Say something.
-What?
-Ah...fine. Let me make an adjustment here, and we'll be ready to rock 'n roll. Oh...uh, the dumbass at the donut place put a chocolate cream filled I asked for in your box.
-There's a chocolate cream filled in there?
-Yeah. Ya see, I ordered that special.
-Tough titty, it's mine now.
-You guys stay on your bellies.
-How is it?
-Not good.
-Do you have a back up.
-It's video.
-You ready, Donut?
-Ready.
-Hello Mickey. We've never been introduced, but I'm Wayne Gayle. I don't know if you've ever heard of me or remember me. I was one of the reporters outside the courthouse during your trial---
-The episode we did on Mickey and Mallory was one of our most popular ones.
-Did you ever do one on Wayne Gacy?
-Yes.
-Whose ratings were higher?
-Yours.
-How 'bout Ted Bundy? Ever do one on him?
-Yes. Yours got the larger Nielson share.
-Good...yuppie piece of shit.
-What I'd like to do---
-How 'bout Manson?
-Manson beat you.
-Yeah, it's pretty hard to beat the king.
-My problem Mickey, is that you don't exactly inspire empathy. I'm all alone on this. I need your help. I want what the prison board is doing to be the focus of our follow up episode. Now I have interviews with chairman of the prison board Dewight McClusky about this issue. And I'm tellin' ya, Mickey, he looks bad. The two psychologists they used
-Have you talked to Mallory about this?
-She won't even see me, Mickey. Now you're not supposed to know anything about what's going on with her, but I'm gonna tell ya somethin'. Since you two've been sentenced, Mallory hasn't spoken one word.
-She doesn't talk?
-Not to anybody. She sings.
-She sings? What does she sing?
-Mickey, how do you feel about cross- examining Grace Mulberry?
-Okay now, before we get started here, there's a few things we have to get clear about.
-All right, Mickey.
-Sorry about that.
-Don't worry about it.
-We're about ready to go here. Are you ready?
-So, Mickey, tell us what you do for fun.
-Much obliged. What do I do for fun? Do you want to know what I do for fun or what I did for fun?
-What? Oh, aaahhh, what you did for fun for starters.
-What I did for fun for starters. Well, something I used to do...always was a lot of fun... No, scratch that. Let me think of something else. In fact, why don't we come back to that question. Ask me something else.
-Do you miss Mallory?
-Of course, I miss Mallory. She's my wife. I haven't seen her in a long time. What a stupid question.
-Then was it worth it?
-Was what worth it?
-Do you think up these questions or the girl with no tongue?
-No, Mickey, I can't let you get away with that shit. Answer the question. Was it worth it? You haven't seen, heard, or smelled Mallory in a year. Was it worth it?
-Was an instant of purity worth a lifetime lie? Yeah, it was.
-Excuse me, did you say an instant of purity? What was the instant of purity? The bodies you left behind on your bloody trail?
-That's only part of it. I mean, it's a big, big, big part. But it's only the chorus, it's not the whole song.
-You just said an instant of purity was preferrable to a lifetime lie. I don't understand. What's so pure about forty-eight dead bodies?
-You'll never understand. Me and you, Wayne, we're not even the same species. I used to be you...then I evolved. From where you're standing, you're a man. From where I'm standing, you're a ape. I'm here...I'm right here... and you...you're somewhere else, man. You say why? I say why not?
-Tell me about the purity.
-It's not that easy, Wayne. Donuts and a smoke only get you so far. You're gonna have to do your job.
-Okay...okay...I'll buy that. We'll move on and come back later.
-I'm sure we will.
-Describe Mallory.
-Describe Mallory? Okay. She's pretty, she's got blonde hair, two eyes, two feet, two hands, ten fingers...
-Don't play dumb with me, Mickey. You know what I mean. Describe Mallory. What's up here? What's in here?
-That's indescribable.
-Well, riddle me this, Batman. How do you feel about the fact that you're never gonna see Mallory again?
-Says who?
-Says the United States of America.
-Everybody thought I'd gone crazy. The cops, my mom, everybody. But you see, they all missed the point of the story. I wasn't crazy. But when I was holding the shotgun, it all became clear. I realized for the first time my one true calling in life. I'm a natural born killer.
-I could go for a Coke.
-You guys wanna hear a joke I heard?
-Sure.
-Donut, get your camera. See if it's broke.
-Let me check on Scott. He's hurt bad.
-Okay, we're going out that door, and we're gonna march down the hall and right out of the building. Donut said something about a news van.
-Yeah, we have a van.
-Where's it parked?
-Out front.
-Mickey, can I talk to you alone?
-No.
-This is crazy. You can't escape like this.
-Probably not, but we're gonna give it the old college try.
-That's what I thought. You tell them that. When we go down those stairs, I want you to scream what you just told me. 'My name is Wayne Gayle! I am the star of American Maniacs watched every week by'-- how many people?
-On average forty million.
-'Every week by forty million people. I am a respected journalist.' Have you won any awards?
-Are you kidding? The Golden Globe, The Edward R. Murrow award...
-...'Winner of the Golden Globe and the Edward R. Murrow award among others.' Tell 'em the name of your personal lawyer, his firm, his address, and phone number. Tell 'em about the mayor and the unemployment lines. You getting the idea?
-Say it. Scream it. All the way out the front door and into your van. And if you stop screaming, I swear to God I'll blow your head off.
-We ain't got all fuckin' day!
-C'mon, c'mon, let's hurry this up.
-Just wait one fucking minute.
-...developed between the three of us. We're kindda in this together, don't ya think?
-No. Not really.
-Don't touch those triggers! Please. I think I've already proven that a live Wayne Gayle is much more better that a dead...Way-- Gayle. I was your passport out of jail, not Duncan Homolka. But me! I'll be your passport outta---
-Wait! You can't kill me. Mickey and Mallory always leave somebody alive to tell the tale.
-Let's make a little music, Colorada.
-I can't go. I'm too fucked up.
-I'm not saying it's not gonna hurt, but--
-I can't run with you, Mickey! I really want to. If I could, I would, but I can't. I gotta stay here. But you can still get out of here.
-No fuckin' way! No fuckin' way!
-If they stay, they'll catch you, and they don't have to catch you---
-No fuckin' way!
-Mickey, you're wasting time!
-Yeah baby.
-Yes.
-Then you've seen the scene where Arnold Schwartzenegger is talking to Lou Ferigno.
-How can you say that you 'admire' them?
-It's like this, Wayne. Two people are standing in a dark room waiting for the other to attack. These two people can't see each other, yet they know they're there. Now, they can either stand in the dark room forever waiting until they die of boredom, or one of them can make the first move.
-Why can't they just shake hands and be friends?
-They can't because neither knows if the other is a deranged senseless killer like the Knoxs. So, you may as well make the first move.
-And they made the first move?
-I admire them.
-Hypnotizing.
-Through the power of the simple word---
-And a snake-eye glare.
----and a snake-eye glare, Arnold was able to totally psyche out any confidence Ferigno had.
-He squashed him mentally before physically defeating him.
-He had the edge. The mind's edge.
-Mickey and Mallory have that edge.
-Only on a much grander scale.
-They've hypnotized the nation.
-Yes.
-That's the Mickey and Mallory way.
-That's the way of the world.
-They're shocking the world into remembering the primal law.
-They had us tied down during one of their house raids, you've seen the headlines, and they were taking a chainsaw to our legs before they were gonna kill us.
-Just for fun, I guess.
-And then Mallory stops Mickey and says, 'Hey, these are the Brothers Hun.'
-Mickey stops sawin' on my leg and says, 'Oh my God, I'm your biggest fan!'
-Apparently, they've seen all our films.
-They were especially influenced by 'Conquering Huns of Neptune.'
-So, Mallory calls 911 and they took off.
-I want two men stationed in that tier, and I want men with rifles all along the walkway.
-Here's the layout of the laundry room.
-Where do the air ducts lead?
-What do you think, Pitney? How much Explosives do you think that they really have in there?
-It's hard to say Capt'n.
-Take a wild stab!
-I'll say enough to destroy this wing.
-The entire wing?
-That's my opinion.
-Drink up! This is a celebration. This is the day we received word we were gonna make television history. We're gonna have the first sit down, in depth interview with the most charismatic serial killer ever, one day before he's being shipped to a mental hospital for the rest of his life. This is one of those golden moments that happens maybe only four
-How immediate is immediately?
-Now we got to film a new intro for the follow up episode. But we put the intro for the first episode at the beginning temporarily so you can see it with some scope.
-You can't be serious?
-I'm as serious about that as I am about going back to the donut store, and dipping that stupid Mexican's head into the batter for forgetting my chocolate cream filled. Gimme that other box.
-Huh uh. This dozen is for Mickey.
-That dumbass probably put my chocolate cream filled in there by mistake.
-Roger, no.
-What's the big deal? Take out my chocolate cream filled, put one of these roasted coconut---
-Roger, do you understand what the word 'no' means? It's important we establish a rapport. Something as simple as a dozen donuts can mean the world to somebody who hasn't had a donut in a year.
-Okay, guys, we're here. L.A. County Jail. Julie, just park in the front.
-Wayne---
-Roger, enough with the fucking donuts! What did I tell you. Stop bothering Mickey, and get behind your nagra.
-Roger?
-Rockin'!
-Pleased to meet ya, Jack. I read your book. I'm impressed. Good work on Curtis Fox.
-What's the travelling arrangements?
-Well, Mickey and Mallory can't be together. So, we'll put you on one of our prison busses and you'll take Mallory first, then you'll come back for Mickey.
-And where do you keep Mickey?
-We got his stinkin' ass in the deepest, darkest cell in the whole place. But it just so happens that right now he's got a special visitor.
-Who?
-Wayne Gayle.
-What the hell happened to you?
-You should see the other bitch. What time you got?
-Are you all set?
-Yeah. Bus is all gassed up and ready to roll.
-Yeah, we met. They're good men.
-They're real Goddamn good. They'll be there for when ya need 'em. Where are they?
-Waitin' in the lounge.
-How 'bout Mallory?
-Nothing for me. I'm leavin'.
-Jack, could you stay up here for a while?
-Yeah, sure.
-We got tonight and tomorrow to get our shit together. The day after that they're shippin' Mallory. That's when we do the Mickey Knox interview, 'cause the next day he goes.
-Would the network really not run it without the interview?
-So Unruly Julie's comin' with me and planning the interview. You two go down to the editing bay, take the old footage and the new footage, put it together, and see what we got. Get it into shape so when we finish the interview, we can just stick it in.
-When do you want the assembly?
-Okay, boys, let's have it.
-Good work, my brothers. Fan-fuckin'- tastic! I think that interview stuff's too long, we can lose some of that. Keep the girls, keep the long hairs, keep the Hun brothers, keep the black guy, keep the movie shit, and keep the cop at the donut shop. Lose the rest. And cut the interview with the prison board fellow before that. Cut it after I
-How's it working, Scotty?
-Rollin'...and speed!
-Camera jam! I'm sorry Wayne. God.
-It's gonna be beautiful.
-But how can you say that?
-But you see, that's okay, Wayne.
-Why?
-They passed the 'edge' along to us.
-How so?
-By taking away our legs. Now we have to fight harder to get ahead than anyone else you'll find in this gym. Probably the whole city. They gave us the fighting spirit. Before this happened I was content. Now I'm pissed off. Now I'm half a man and I've got to work like the devil to get whole again.
-But you'll never be whole again.
-Hello, Mr. Gayle. I'm Phil Wurlitzer. We talked on the phone. It's a pleasure to meet you.
-Same here. Let me introduce my crew. Scott...Roger...and Unruly Julie ...this is...I'm sorry. What's your title again?
-I'm the superintendent here at L.A. County Jail. Me and my deputies are who you'll be working with while you're here.
-How's everything coming, Mr. Gayle?
-Everything's coming along just fine. Phil, I wanted to know if I could have a small word with you.
-You met the kids I have working for me? Great bunch, aren't they?
-Oh yes, indeed. Top flight.
-Scott, genius cameraman, Roger, magician with sound. Unruly Julie, I could sooner do without my arm than Unruly Julie.
-Is that her real name?
-I see.
-Now, Phil, I don't know if you've ever been on a set before---
-Ya know, I was.
-Really?
-I was on the 'Dukes of Hazzard' set about eight years ago.
-Well...small world. Well, then, you know firsthand how Hollywood does things. Lights all over the place, generators, a hundred and fifty crew members---
-Oh, that 'Dukes of Hazzard' show, there was probably ninety-five people there, maybe more.
-See what I mean? It's a funny business, isn't it?
-It sure is.
-Well, just what the hell do you expect me to do?
-Lose 'em.
-Mr. Gayle, do you have the slightest idea how dangerous Knox is?
-Since he and his wife have been in custody, they've killed---
-Don't recite the fact to me. I'm sure I know 'em better than you do.
-Well, let me let you in on one more fact you obviously don't know. If I were to take my men away, Mickey Knox would snap your neck like a twig.
-We got one...two...three...four ...five...six...seven...eight. I mean Jesus Christ, Phil, that's too much. Let's lose some of these guys.
-Wayne, if it was anybody else---
-Phil, I'm just scared he's gonna clam up on me with all these sheriffs all over the place. They hate him. He hates them. What kinda intimacy am I gonna create with all this hate in the air. Even you and I feel it.
-What are we talking about?
-Two guys?
-Okay. I'll take two guys off.
-No, no, no, no, no, no, I mean only two guys.
-I can't do that. Five guys.
-Three.
-So we got a deal. Four deputies---
-And me.
-Why don't we make it three deputies and you?
-Why don't I have Mickey thrown back into his cell and we can forget the whole thing?
-Chill out, Phill. Four deputies and you, I can live with that. We're about ready to go here, so let's get rid of these other assholes.
-Don't call my men assholes.
-I'm not running out and getting that piece of shit a Coke.
-Could we go with you and film it?
-How 'bout that furniture plant?
-Man, the darkest thing they got in there is Coca-Cola.
-Yeah.
-Now, if you want to work like a real nigger, you can always go out and chop cotton.
-They done that too long in my family.
-Give her a beer.
-Where' you goin'?
-Out.
-Want me to come?
-No thanks.
-Who's going to buy me a beer?
-What's the matter, Doris? Business bad?
-It sure is.
-Everybody givin' it away free, huh?
-You gonna buy me a beer, Frankie?
-See Duff. He's the money man.
-You know, Doris - you'd make some guy a swell wife.
-You think so, Frankie?
-Fill her up?
-Boy - you hear me?!
-That'll be thirty-eight cents.
-That'll be thirty-eight cents.
-I bet she's a sly little nigger, that girl. Wouldn't mind a piece of her myself!
-All right, you get out of here, man!
-Who're you tellin' to get, boy?! You watch it, or there'll be some dyin' done 'round here!
-'You Duff Anderson?
-That's right.
-Want to talk to you.
-Okay.
-I hear you're tryin' to organize this place!
-I don't know what you're talkin' about.
-That's no way to talk, boy. Now we had one of them union men 'round here coupla years ago. Stirred up a lot of trouble. They're always after you colored boys.
-I still don't know what you're talkin' about.
-You a union man?
-Used to be. On the railroad.
-Uh-huh. Well, this ain't the railroad. Now what's all this talk about stickin' together?
-Look, boy, we got a smooth operation here, and I aim to keep it that way. Now I got an idea you're plannin' trouble.
-No. You got the wrong idea.
-Want to keep your job, boy?
-What d'you think?
-I said: Cut it out!
-What's the matter, boy? Never smile?
-I'll smile when it's funny.
-I know.
-Yeah.
-Where was that?
-Walker and Williams.
-What did you say your name is?
-What d'you want?
-Guess you must be lookin' after my boy. I'm Duff Anderson.
-James Lee, you come in here and meet your daddy.
-Where's Wilma?
-She done moved to Detroit.
-Ain't she goin' to take the boy?
-She got herself a husband now. They don' want him 'round. And I tell you, man, I got no use for him neither.
-I been sendin' her money.
-Well, she never gave me none. Look, you better find him a place pretty quick.
-Like where?
-I don't know. He's your boy.
-Yeah. Look, I'll be sendin' you the money from now on.
-Okay.
-They say your dad's 'round town.
-'That right? I thought he was up North.
-People seen him 'round.
-Where's he at?
-Hey, boy - I'm talkin' to you.
-Name's Duff.
-How 'you doing?
-Okay.
-Looks like you're doin' a good job.
-Thanks.
-Don't say much, do you?
-Guess I don't.
-Thanks.
-Would you like me to say anything tomorrow?
-Guess so.
-Have anything in mind?
-No. What you usually say, I guess.
-Where was your father born?
-His profession?
-Well, he worked around.
-And his age?
-I don't know. Forty-eight, I guess.
-Any other family?
-No. Just me. Me an' her.
-Well, I guess that's all till tomorrow.
-Hard to get up in the morning, huh?
-You know, man, that guy was trying to be friendly.
-Like hell. You know, if you fellows stuck together 'stead of letting them walk all over you, they might not try it.
-How 'you doin' man?
-Okay.
-Cup of coffee. I 'been meanin' to talk to you.
-Oh yeah?
-Been over to the other mill?
-Yeah, I been there.
-It's just that we're not used to seein' anyone stand up 'round here. Kinda took us by surprise.
-That's two bucks, Joe.
-Why don't you come over for a beer when you get through?
-Thank you, Ma'am. That's fine.
-You must be new in town.
-Haven't seen you around, have I?
-No. I'm new in town.
-You working?
-Oh yeah?
-You work around town?
-I'm a teacher.
-Went to college, huh?
-In Birmingham.
-Oh yeah? That's my home town.
-Your folks live there?
-No. My mother's dead. You goin' back inside?
-Yes, aren't you?
-No. Never had much use for hell-howlers. You goin'?
-My father's the preacher.
-Oh yeah? Well, I guess you got no choice.
-That's right.
-Look, I don't know what you been told 'bout section gangs, but how 'bout seein' me sometime?
-That's pretty good for a preacher's daughter.
-What d'you expect?
-You know, baby, I can't figure you out.
-How d'you mean?
-Why d'you come out with me? You slummin' or something?
-No.
-So what you doin' with a cat like me in a joint like this?
-You don't think much of yourself, do you?
-Well, that's a funny thing to say.
-You keep asking me why I'm here.
-Yeah, and you keep not answerin', too.
-I like a place with lots of life.
-How about another beer?
-No thanks.
-Hell!
-They must work on the section gang.
-That's right.
-Well, they seem just like everyone else.
-I guess it's hard working on the road like that.
-Damn few places you can make eighty bucks a week.
-I mean, you're kind of cut off, aren't you?
-That's fine with me. Keeps me out of trouble.
-How d'you mean?
-Well, I don't get on so well most places.
-Well, let's see now - not counting tonight ... must be about twenty-eight times.
-Get out of here!
-Let's go, Duff.
-How come you stay 'round here?
-Well, my mother was the only good teacher the colored school ever had. Nobody bothers with those kids.
-That's why you come back, huh?
-It's hard to see any change. But I'm going to stay. Another year, anyway.
-You got more guts than me, baby. It's a no-good town.
-It's better than it used to be. Eight years ago they still had a lynching here. They tied a man to a car and dragged him to death. My father knew who did it, but he didn't say anything.
-Not here, Duff.
-I get it. Yeah, I can see your old man with a shot-gun right now.
-But I would like to see you again.
-You would, huh? If I was you, baby - I wouldn't go 'round stickin' out my jugular vein.
-What d'you mean?
-You almost got into trouble back there.
-I wouldn't have let you.
-Hell, baby, I'm not in the third grade. Well, look - what' we gonna do next time -- have a nice long chat in the parlor?
-No, on the porch.
-Oh yeah, and then what?
-What?
-Well, either we're gonna hit the hay or get married. Now you don't want to hit the hay, and I don' want to get married.
-You have some very primitive ideas, don't you?
-All right, so I'm primitive. So what d'you want with me?
-Look, Duff - most of the men I know - they're kind of sad. When I met you the other day I had a feeling that you're different. That's why I went out with you. I thought we might have something to say to each other.
-Hell, baby, I don't know what to say.
-At first it was real strange. Hell, Japan is a long ways from Alabama. Really got under my skin, though. Almost didn't come back.
-Why did you?
-I don't know. 'Guess I belong here more than there.
-'Been up north?
-Yeah. Knocked around for a couple of months after the Army. You been there?
-No.
-Ain't your fault.
-That's the way he is.
-Yeah. It's just like I figured.
-What d'you mean?
-Hell, I don't belong here. I don't know what I' been thinkin'.
-Look, Duff - if you're free, I'm not working tomorrow.
-Sorry, baby. I'm goin' to Birmingham.
-Just for the day?
-Goin' to see my kid.
-I didn't know you had one.
-Yeah. Well, I do.
-Are you married?
-Surprised?
-No. Women're always followin' me 'round.
-I'm just going in to do my shopping.
-Yeah, it's just a coincidence.
-That's right.
-I'll see you later.
-How old is your boy?
-Four.
-What's he like?
-Hi.
-How did it go?
-What?
-Your boy.
-Okay, I guess.
-I'll have some coffee, please.
-What d'you mean?
-Thank you.
-How about it?
-What happened, Duff?
-Look, baby - I don't know 'bout you, but it's the right thing for me. I just know it is. So, what d'you say?
-Don't push me, Duff.
-Yeah. Wouldn't be no picnic for you. I ain't exactly housebroken.
-What about that girl?
-She don't mean nothin' to me. That's all over. Hell, baby - I'm askin' you to marry me. I guess you want a big scene, huh?
-I can see why.
-Well, what d'you think?
-It's okay with me, baby. But how' you goin' to like it?
-That's Bessie Hall. Barney works at the mill.
-Hey, watch out! Guess you want a house full of pickaninnies too, huh?
-Don't call them that.
-What about him?
-He could live with us.
-Is that so?
-What's wrong?
-Smells like something crawled in there and died.
-Oh really? I thought it was pretty good.
-Everything you cook is good.
-What about them?
-Am I as good as they?
-Hmmm - good coffee.
-You didn't answer my question.
-Baby, you're the best thing that ever happened to me.
-You still didn't answer my question.
-You know how to box?
-Uh-huh. Why?
-My kids want me to teach them.
-Like so. There you go. Okay, hit me!
-I don't want to hurt you.
-It sure scares you, a guy like that - settin' out on his porch, doin' nothin'. I seen hundreds of them - all my life.
-How would you like to have a baby, Duff?
-Huh?
-Don't look so scared.
-You jivin' me?
-Ain't that something?! That's just fine, baby.
-Man, we sure hit the jackpot fast around here.
-What about your boy?
-How come you keep askin'?
-I keep thinking about him.
-Don't, Duff.
-Don't deny me, Duff.
-Yeah. But just how're we goin' to make out? I got to get me a job.
-You will.
-Pay is so damn low. I don't want my kids to grow up like Barney's.
-They won't.
-I'm telling you, baby, maybe we better get out of here.
-We can always do that, Duff.
-Hi.
-Don't ask, baby - huh! How much money you got with you?
-About ten dollars.
-Water pump's busted. I don't know if it's worth fixin', but I need that car.
-You know - we do have enough money. Especially now.
-Sure, baby. 'Fact, I don't ever have to work no more. When that baby comes, I can just stay home and send you back to school. How about that?
-I'm trying to help, Duff.
-Yeah!
-I could work even after the baby comes. A few hours a week, anyway.
-What the hell could you do?
-Day work.
-No point fixin' it!
-Don't do that!
-You heard me!
-I can't stand to see you like that. I know you can't help it.
-How come you don't hate their guts?
-I don't know. I guess I'm not afraid of them.
-You were plenty scared that night in the car.
-Just of getting hurt. They can't touch me inside.
-Like hell they can't. They can reach right in with their damn white hands and turn you off and on.
-Not if you see them for what they are, Duff.
-Hell, if they don't blow up his place, they'll get him some other way. Don't make no difference no-how.
-What d'you mean?
-Duff, I love you.
-Ain't you goin' to say something?
-There's nothing to say.
-Where're you going to go?
-When I get set, I'll send for you.
-I don't think that'll happen.
-You'll be better off without me. I ain't fit to live with no more. It's just like a lynchin'. Maybe they don't use a knife on you, but they got other ways.
-You're not a man because of a job, Duff.
-Okay.
-Duff--
-What you gettin' all pretty for?
-Where' you goin'?
-'Round town.
-What's so hot 'round town?
-Just get her drunk.
-How 'bout the key?
-We was just leavin', fellows.
-A whole lot, Frankie.
-Like what?
-Like a home, for one thing.
-You gonna sit at home the rest of your life? Jesus!
-Well, it's better than windin' up like a bum.
-What 'you signifyin'?
-That's right.
-Good-bye, Frankie.
-See you, Duff.
-They all got families to support.
-Yeah. That's right, Jocko. Those white guys sure shoot up at you like a yeast cake if you just cock an eye at them.
-I guess you'll be making' some changes 'round here.
-What's eatin' you, Jocko?
-'See ya.
-'You Will Anderson?
-Who're you?
-I'm Duff.
-Wouldn't have known you.
-Wouldn't have known you.
-What's on your mind?
-Nothing. Heard you were in town.
-Wanted a look at your old man, huh?
-How about a drink?
-What happened?
-I said, I come to town with a girl.
-Plannin' on getting married?
-No.
-'Don't sound so sure.
-Well, matter of fact, I done a lot of bangin' 'round.
-I asked you somethin', boy!
-I heard you.
-Pretty good for a one-armed nigger, huh?
-Great.
-My son? I ain't got no son. You Duff?
-That's right.
-Take it easy, Pop.
-Couldn't get the words out before.
-Better get him to a hospital.
-How you doin', boy?
-Want me to hold the light for you?
-No, thanks.
-Most folks around here got no use for nigrahs. Got to understand them, that's all. How you doin', boy?
-Seems a little loose!
-Jesus, I told you to watch it!
-That's the trouble with you boys! Don't listen when a man tells you something.
-She don't look no worse to me.
-Don't do her no good to get banged like that.
-Don't do her no good to go into a tree.
-What did you say, boy?!
-I said, she's in great shape.
-How often does he get like that?
-Whenever he's got an edge on.
-How often is that?
-Come back some other time, will you?
-Come on, Pop.
-Want to come up the house? You can stay there till you get on your feet. There's no point paying a hotel.
-No thanks, Lee.
-It's just that I hate empty rooms.
-Sure.
-Well, what're you going to do?
-I guess I'll make me some trouble in that town.
-Going back, huh?
-That's right.
-They'll run you out.
-No, they won't.
-How 'you gonna live?
-I can always chop cotton if I have to. If you want a ride, I'll take you home.
-No, thanks. I'll take the bus.
-Okay.
-Don't be too hard on him.
-Hell, I'm just like him.
-I know he wasn't much of a father.
-Who is?!
-Hello.
-How are you?
-It's hard to know how to talk to the white folks these days.
-Guess it's never been easy.
-It's a changing time. Sit down, son.
-Well, it looks like we'll be getting our new school.
-How come you all ain't sendin' them to the same school?
-Well, you've got to go easy. We haven't had any trouble in town for eight years, and we're not going to have any now.
-Can't live without trouble, can you? Nice place you got here. Real nice.
-Yes, the Lord's been pretty good to us. I guess you're a church man, aren't you?
-I guess I ain't.
-Why? Don't you believe in the Lord?
-Aw, I do. But 'seems to me us colored folks do a whole lot of church-goin'. It's the whites that need it real bad.
-I think if you tried livin' in a town like this, instead of running free and easy, you'd soon change your tune.
-I doubt it.
-I see. Well, I guess we don't have much to say to each other.
-I guess not.
-And since we're talking, my wife and I don't want you hanging around our daughter.
-I know just how you feel, son. But believe me, you're going about it the wrong way.
-Don't look like there's a right way.
-Well, you have to be reasonable. Now they say you're a troublemaker. That's no good. Use a little psychology. Make 'em think you're going along - and get what you want.
-It ain't in me.
-You'll be in trouble, son. Now just how do you intend to support your family?
-I guess I'll rob a bank.
-So I been told.
-It's for your own good.
-Oh yeah? Seems to me, Reverend, you' more concerned 'bout your good. Guess it looks kind 'a bad, havin' me for a son-in-law.
-You can be cocky now, boy. But you won't make it. You won't last. I just feel sorry for Josie. I knew it wouldn't work out.
-Maybe I could talk to Bud Ellis. He might have a job for you at his filling station.
-Oh yeah?
-Why don't you guys buy your own?
-Man, you won't like that back seat.
-Man, why 'you messin' around with a gal like that? You won't get no place.
-Well, if it ain't Duff!
-I'll be a monkey's kid sister! What d'you want to do a thing like that for?
-'Musta knocked her up.
-Ol' Doris sure goin' to miss you.
-Just give him a couple of months. A girl like that, she don't know any tricks.
-You know what Doris told me? She say: That Duff's a nice guy. Wouldn't even charge him nothin'.
-Yeah. All a colored woman wants is your money.
-What d'you know about women, Pop?
-Well, I got married to one of them.
-Hell, I didn't know you was married.
-Sure. Got a sixteen-year-old girl.
-So you're courtin' the preacher's girl. Well, just watch your step, boy, or he'll preach you right into hell. I'm counting on you, Reverend.
-I understand.
-Wouldn't do for one of your people to sue at a time like this.
-I know.
-I'll talk to the Mayor.
-Baby - want you to meet Duff.
-Hi.
-Come on, Will.
-What's the matter?! You mad at me?
-No. Why?
-Nothin'. She's all right. Wouldn't have made it without her. Christ - haven't worked in eight months. Right now, I'm waitin' for some insurance money. And man, when I get it, I got plans to make me some more. Let's get out'a here. This place gives me the willies. You got some money?
-Let's stay here, Will.
-Pour your own trouble, Will.
-Your mother used to lay for her boss, boy. Did you know that?
-Shut up, Will.
-Is she good in the hay? No point marryin' her just to find out. Is there, baby?
-If you don't quit it, Will, I'm leaving.
-He's your son.
-Now you stay put!
-I ain't drunk, honey.
-Got a thick feelin' here.
-What's the matter now?
-Better now. Where 'you at?
-Let's go.
-I fucking hate Raoul. Shut the fuck up, asshole! someone.
-You hate Raoul?
-Your Raoul?
-Sometimes, I want to blow his fucking brains out!
-Omar--
-Danny, I can't fucking wait anymore. You hear me? Now where the fuck's my wife?
-I want my wife. I told you and told you. Now I'm gettin' tired of this shit--
-Omar, listen to me--
-I'm sorry, Danny. Time's up. I'11 do the girl, then me. I don't give a fuck.
-Don't give her the satisfaction. Your wife is on her way...
-Omar, your wife's here. Ny superiors: will allow me to make the trade now. But I gotta see that you haven't hurt the other hostages. If you haven't, I'11 take the girl and send in your wife.
-Beck's just put us on standby for crisis entry.
-That's not the play. Omar'll get a shot off. I can still talk to him, Nate, I just need time.
-Whoa. No way. You can't enter the kill zone.
-Since when?
-How long's it been?
-I'm still on my honeymoon.
-So don't pull this cowboy shit now. You'll give him a target. You'll get yourself killed. Just keep talking.
-I will. Inside. There's no other way to get the gun off the girl's head, Nate.
-We got any shots?
-Oh my God, I'm terribly sorry. Did I hurt you?
-Let me get you another glass of wine.
-I've had quite enough or I wouldn't be playing such games with beautiful strangers. Aren't Peter's illusions to your liking?
-They're a bit too real for my taste. Will you excuse me for a moment?
-Peter said you came to kill us. Is that true?
-No. I only needed the code from you.
-Take this off.
-He wants to kill you, you know... Perhaps I won't allow it.
-You didn't come here to destroy Wintermute. You can to save a man you love. A man who isn't even capable of returning that love. Such a waste...
-My man's coming to get my ass out of here. That's good enough for me.
-She's very striking, don't you think? Are these glasses a fashion where she comes from?
-Security breach. Perhaps her friends have come to join our party.
-You're hurt...
-It's nothing. C'mon... we've got to transfer those funds and get the hell out of here.
-What about her?
-What are you doing in here?
-Can you get us into Straylight?
-Gettin' in is easy. It's getting out I'm thinkin' of.
-I'm getting used to it. Where are we?
-What the hell is that?
-What you lookin' for, mon?
-Ghost a steppin' razor...
-Easy...
-What's an A.I.
-A little incestuous, but at least it's original. Who's the guy in the halloween costume?
-We did a pretty good job of pissing them off.
-The Villa Straylight. Home of the Royal Family and the mainframe of the computer entity we know as Wintermute. If we can get Molly in, she can access the mainframe to cripple Mute's defences, the Case can destroy it in Cyberspace.
-How's the villa's security?
-Alright. Let's talk business.
-Those are all your records. I can have you cleared on all counts. Possession. ...Contributing to the delinquency of minors... Statutory rape.
-I was set up. She looked at least eighteen.
-Your gun, your prints. The Tessiers might overlook a little child molesting, but murder's bad P.R., Mr. Riviera. I suggest to reconsider my offer.
-You son-of-a-bitch, you're crazy.
-Then you'll have to persuade her to tell it to you.
-Are you sure you're up to this, Mr. Case? We could reconvene tomorrow.
-You've got an expensive razor girl on me for a reason. I'd like to hear what it is.
-The corporate plundering of Yeshoto Industries... At first these seemed like unrelated incidents, but a pattern is emerging that suggests otherwise.
-What does this have to do with me?
-Our analysis of the London stock crash suggest that it was manipulated from within the international computer matrix. Cyberspace, Mr. Case... A realm I believe you're familiar with.
-Put the Sense/Net Police on it. The matrix is their turf.
-If someone is infiltrating the matrix on a global scale no political or economic system is safe. I'm assembling a team of specialists, Mr. Case. We need a man who can enter the matrix and trace this saboteur.
-My days of punching deck are over. For you or anybody else.
-What would you say if I told you we could correct your neural damage?
-Then I'd ask you what your terms are.
-First, let's get something straight. We ran a psych construct on you that lists self destruction as your favourite pastime. If you want to kill yourself, Mr. Case, there's much more entertaining ways than working for me.
-It's the people close to me that tend to die... and I get the feeling you and I are going to be real buddies. Terms?
-We'll match your rate just prior to your... accident. One half in advance.
-Who's running the show, Armitage? This a government sting?
-I'll think you'll find everything in working order. Molly's just having a little fun.
-I don't call this fun, pal. You're playing God with my body.
-You're a substance abuser, Case. Your pancreas was shot. Wouldn't have lasted out the year. We did you a favour and liberated you from a dangerous dependency in the bargain.
-Thanks, but I was enjoying that dependency.
-There are fifteen toxin sacs bonded to the lining of your main arteries. They're dissolving, Case... slowly, but they're definitely dissolving. You have just long enough to do the job.
-Why'd you do it, Armitage?
-The disturbance in cyberspace... It's an A.I.
-First sign of free will, Sense/Net usually slags 'em.
-This one's different. No one can trace it. It's out there somewhere in the matrix and it's growing stronger... infecting other computer systems like a virus.
-Anything rated higher than a P.C.'s got a hard-wired suicide switch. It'll self- destruct.
-I've heard about rogue A.I.'s, but there's only one guy who actually went up against one.
-Dixie McCoy
-Right. Best cowboy that ever punched deck. The old man taught me most of what I know.
-I've arranged for him to work with us.
-That's gonna be tough because Dixie McCoy's dead. The A.I. flatlined him.
-I know. You ever work with ghosts, Case?
-What are you talking about?
-Working with a dead man. Shit, I've done about everything else.
-You'll be ready for a trial run in two days. If your splices hold, you'll use McCoy to trace the A.I.'s coordinates.
-And then?
-Then we rendezvous with the final member of our team. For now, that's all you need to know.
-You ran without us.
-I cannot tell a lie. Sorry.
-Sorry, bullshit. We haven't even begun and you're already jeopardising this operation.
-What's this?
-Could be your A.I.'s calling card.
-Did you trace it?
-Fried Air Tram in the process. Not to mention half my gear.
-What about McCoy?
-He's got a little attitude problem, being that he's dead and all, but he'll come around. Where's Molly?
-Prepping your trip.
-Really? Do I get to know where I'm going? It makes packing so much easier.
-Offworld. The A.I.... this "Wintermute" thing evolved on a computer mainframe on the satellite Freeside. If you attack it from within the matrix while Molly accesses its original programming we can cripple its defence systems.
-That could work, but the timing will be a bitch.
-You'll be linked during the entire operation.
-Yeah, well it's working.
-Let's hope she doesn't expect me to swim upstream.
-That's Lord Frederick Tessier. Owns most of Freeside. Wintermute's mainframe is centred in the Royal Family's villa.
-He's a Sense/Net Chairman. Why would he launch an A.I.?
-Good question. He may not have intended to. The girl in question is Lady 3Jane. She's very important to us. The third clone of Lady Jane Tessier.
-The old man cheats on his wife with her own clone?
-That's nice, but we can't dodge this kind of heat for long.
-Okay. The floor plans will be a piece of cake.
-Then once she's in you can guide her straight to the mainframe?
-As long as you cooperate. I want it now, Armitage.
-What are you talking about?
-You've got your orders.
-You find out in exactly two hours and forty-five minutes.
-An odd selection, Mr Case.
-I prefer distrusting you. It'll keep us honest.
-Honesty. Almost as quaint a notion as your concept of good and evil.
-Can you read my mind?
-You're busy monkeys, Mr. Case. Busy, busy monkeys. Always building models... First stone circles. Then cathedrals... adding machines. I have no idea why I exist, do you know that? You... Your species eventually _had_ to create me. A thousand monkeys sitting at typewriters. One finally wrote "Wintermute".
-Are you even really alive?
-Tell me the words.
-The words?
-The access code to your mainframe.
-Ah, yes... the code. It's a riddle, actually. Some fancy of 3Jane's. Unfortunately, you'll have to find out for yourself. I can no more know that code than I can shut down my own hard wired defences. Now, our time is running short... and you haven't even touched your drink.
-What's inside me, Wintermute. What did your doctors do to me?
-Then I'm out. I don't give a shit about you or this run.
-Ah, Herr Case. And how is the artiste tonight?
-I saw your girl yesterday.
-I don't have a girl.
-Too bad. I likes you better with her. Now, sometime you get maybe to artistic; you wind up in the clinic tanks, spare parts.
-You're pleasant tonight.
-Always...By the way, you know that girlfriend you don't have?
-Hey, bro.
-Case... Yeah, Miami Joeboy, quick study. How you doing, kid?
-Fine, Dixie. Fine.
-Last I heard you cracked Sukura International. I couldn't believe it.
-Yeah. That was me.
-Jesus Christ, Kid. Nobody's ever cracked Sukura.
-As far as they know, that's absolutely true.
-Ya learned good. So, what's happening?
-Nothin'. Not a goddamn thing. What the fuck...
-Dixie, you know how a ROM construct works?
-Sure, Kid. It's a firmware construct.
-What elders?
-She's ready to go.
-Maelcom... Do you think there's a hell for computers?
-All things possible in Babylon.
-So be it, we cross into Babylon like a cool breeze.
-We're doing fine. Take the next right.
-Case, mon, you just tell me who not to kill.
-Four men. Babylon soldiers.
-Ready?
-Do we have enough fuel to make it back to Earth?
-Don't know, mon. This is a jumpship. Not meant for transport.
-Trajectory coordinates and a fuel ratio... If we re-enter over Mexico, we just might make it.
-Jah guides us.
-What you're telling me is that I'm dead. Right?
-Right...
-I can't feel nothing because I am nothing. Just playback. A ghost in the machine.
-You're Dixie McCoy's construct. That makes you something special.
-Don't patronise me, you fuck. I was skating figure eights in this matrix while you were still peeing in your chinos. Hey, Kid... you expecting company?
-I'm surprised you still are. Should'a told me you had an A.I. running probes at you.
-I need its matrix coordinates, Dixie. I've got to nail that thing where it lives.
-Who got you into this?
-A guy who calls himself Armitage.
-Never heard of him.
-I duped these prints off him. Can you run an I.D.?
-No problem, amigo.
-What about the A.I., Dix? Sense/Net hasn't even been able to trace it.
-Those guys couldn't even find their own dicks with tweezers and a magnifying glass. Tell you what, Bro. I'll make you a deal. I help you nail this A.I., you gotta do me one favour.
-What?
-Yo.
-How are we doing?
-That A.I. of your's got the whole matrix hummin'. Sticks out like a spider in a web.
-Can you take me to it?
-Doesn't look like much, but that's King Hell ice, man. Fry your brain out soon as look at you.
-I have to figure out how to penetrate this thing, Dix... Crack its ice. We gotta get close enough to log the pattern.
-It's mutating... spreading like a disease.
-It ain't getting any prettier, that's for sure. I got the I.D. on this Armitage character. He a bright boy, your friend?
-Bright enough to be dangerous.
-He was an M.P. in Bangkok back in '21. Caught some shrapnel in the cerebral cortex and wound up living off a machine in a vegetable ward in Berne. Then, last September... surprise, surprise... he just seemed to disappear.
-Wintermute could have infiltrated that machine. Reprogrammed him.
-It's possible. The guy was a blank slate.
-So it does business through a brain dead marine and runs the stock market for funding. That means Wintermute hired us to fry itself. It doesn't make sense.
-Could be suicidal. It's not easy to kill yourself with all those hard wired defence programs.
-No. It's gotta be more than that. That hard wiring also keeps it from getting too smart. Too powerful.
-Getting fried ain't going to get it any smarter. What we got here is one mad dog schizo A.I.. Armitage is right about one thing, Bro. If we don't shut this mother down soon, nothing will be safe from it.
-The run is tomorrow night, Dixie. Can you crack its ice pattern?
-Where the hell have you been?
-We got problems topside.
-Well, it ain't exactly a bed of roses down here. We gonna run or not?
-We run. You crack the pattern?
-Yeah, but it ain't doing us any good. The way this is set up, I can't run shit unless I get inside its perimeter... and this goddamn thing would see me comin' from a mile away.
-You can make your move when it comes after me.
-What are you talkin' about?
-It'll flatline your ass.
-Yo.
-How's the ice break?
-Take a look. Son of a bitch won't feel a thing until it's too late.
-Fifty-seven minutes twelve seconds.
-Not good enough, man. They planted something inside me. I'm on my own countdown.
-How much time you got left?
-Less than thirty minutes.
-Meet me back here in twenty-five. We'll kick this open if we can. But, Case... you need that access code or you'll just fry inside.
-Don't worry, Dix. I'm on a roll.
-You're late.
-How's the ice?
-One minute eighteen and counting. What about the access code?
-It's coming.
-You haven't got it?
-I said, it's coming. Just get me in, man.
-This thing's loaded with internal virus systems. You'll fry like an egg in there.
-Then I'll fry taking this son of a bitch out. I'm making the run, Dixie.
-What about the route to the core?
-You, I presume are Mr. Armitage. And this is...
-Case.
-What about the mainframe's access code?
-Wait... You hear that?
-What?
-Want to fucking answer them?
-Hello, Case.
-I thought you already left.
-Why did you come here tonight, Linda?
-People are talking. They say the Yakuza has a contract out on you.
-I hear that shit once a week. Don't worry. Jo Jo Bao loves me.
-This time it's different. Someone ripped of a shipment of hallucinogens. Five grams of liquid ketamine. It was supposed to be Jo Jo's score.
-Where did you here that?
-Case... are you okay?
-I know who you are.
-And we really do have to talk.
-You set me up from the beginning. It was you that got Julius killed.
-I had to limit your options.
-And Linda...
-You know why Linda's dead. She loved you and you let her down. It's that simple. Of course I did instigate certain events. Calculated the variables. I found her to be... expendable.
-I'm gonna burn you to the ground, you son of a bitch.
-Excellent. That's exactly what I had in mind. But if you're going to kill me, we have to work together, old son. I'm no pushover, you know.
-Shut down your ice patterns. I'll take you out.
-I can no more shut down my own natural defences that you can stop breathing. That's why I need you, Case. You're the only person alive who has a chance of penetrating my defences. My "ice" as you call it. I'm doing everything I can to make that possible.
-Why would you want me to kill you?
-Let's just say we have a destiny to fulfil, you and I.
-I think you're full of shit.
-I hope you can show more than you did when you let the Yakuza butcher Linda Lee.
-His name's Armitage. He's very anxious to meet you.
-Why should I want to meet him.
-Because you've exceeded your shelf life, Case. Word on the street is you're a dead man walking. Nice time for an employment opportunity. Travel to exotic locales.
-What's my end?
-What is it?
-... a friend of mine's gonna get herself killed. I need my clip.
-Sorry. That's not gonna happen.
-Since when do sprawl doctors know more about nerve rehab than the Japanese?
-He's a resourceful guy, your boss. How long you work for him?
-Couple of months.
-What about before that?
-For someone else. Bodyguard. Courier... Whatever.
-Then you don't really know who he is, do you?
-I know who he isn't. Not C.I.A. Not Sense/Net. But... money comes in. Doors open. He's onto something.
-Maybe something's onto him.
-You've been calling her name.
-Holy shit...
-How long have I been out?
-I gotta know... did it work>
-How soon is soon enough?
-That's not going to help.
-The way I feel, believe me, it'll help.
-Not anymore. You got a new pancreas. Armitage's got you kinked so you can't get stoned.
-What the fuck... are you serious?
-I'm going in.
-You're not ready yet. They said two days.
-I'm not jacking with Armitage and his quacks breathing down my neck.
-I'll show you how to tell what's going on. If things go south, you unplug me.
-What is it with you? Why is it so important? It's a buzz, right? Like getting high.
-On a good run... yeah.
-When I was fifteen Sense/Net iced my old man's credit record over some computer error. Once that goes down, that's it. He lost his business... everything. It destroyed him. I had to hustle arcade games for chump change. Dixie McCoy found me, figured I was a natural. He taught me the wires for a piece of the action.
-A regular Fagan.
-Sure. I finally pulled a run on my old man's credit file when I was seventeen... only it was too late for him.
-Too late?
-The first fun's bound to be rough. It that read out fluctuates more than ten points... just pull this out. But if the EEG flatlines, don't touch anything.
-Won't that mean you're dead?
-Technically, yeah, but people have made it back after as long as three minutes.
-Dixie McCoy didn't.
-The point is, if you unplug me when I'm flatlines, I'm history. I got no way back.
-You okay?
-Molly doesn't need a spook suit to get in here.
-Don't fuck with me. I don't want to hurt you.
-It sounds like you.
-...Feels like you.
-Case...
-Case... it's four a.m.
-I don't sleep much. You packed?
-I'll get the car.
-Yeah... fine.
-What's wrong? Don't like flying?
-Case... Are you alright?
-Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine.
-You scared the shit out of me, man. You were dead for fifteen seconds. Totally flatlined.
-I'll be okay.
-Le Vingtieme Siecle. We're meeting Armitage there for the midnight floor show.
-Something exotic I hope.
-He projects with neural implants.
-That's risky gear. It can drive you schizo.
-I know.
-Once I kicked, I swore I wouldn't let that happen again. I apprenticed a razor girl in Osaka. Went into hock for the implant and got my reflexes jacked up. Been taking care of myself just fine ever since.
-When they did my eyes, I made them promise I'd still be able to cry. Sounds stupid, doesn't it?
-Is he going to make it?
-The code's some riddle of 3Jane's. Once I'm in the matrix, you'll just have to take a shot at it.
-...And if I guess wrong?
-Then you and Maelcom get out of here before the place is crawling with guardsmen.
-We've still got to find the mainframe.
-My God... these people are insane.
-Shit...
-What is it?
-Laser fail-safe. You can't get the code wrong... it slags you. I can't let you try it.
-I'm still going in.
-Peter... What do you think you're doing?
-Surviving, darling. It's my specialty. Only this time I'm doing it my style. I've beaten him, you know.
-Who?
-Everybody's favourite computer, of course. He may have out calculated the rest of you, but I have certain qualities that don't translate well on microchips.
-Like what?
-Get up.
-What?
-How are you at riddles, Peter?
-What the fuck kind of questions are those?
-Guy Perkins and his amazing Lemmings. They push your car out of its space, hide it, then watch while you look for it. We've taken to chaining ours together for safety. I'm Aldys.
-I'm Josie. Aldys is an interesting name.
-When it's not yours. My mom was going through her Harlequin Romance phase.
-Never mind. That is so awful that they hide your cars.
-What?
-Well, do you?
-Synecdoche uses a part to represent a whole- as in " head of cattle", whereas a hyperbole is simple exaggeration like "I could eat a horse."
-How long will they watch us for?
-Until Guy tells them to go. Once they watched me for like two hours. I found my car the next day in the T.J. Maxx parking lot.
-: Because he's Guy Perkins. Listen, you want to walk to Na- Na's and get something to eat?
-Yeah - isn't it amazing that those guys are our same age? I mean, they just seem so much younger, you know.
-I'm going to be so happy to get to college. I hear at Northwestern they don't make fun of you for knowing the element table.
-So what are your hopes, your dreams, what do you want to be?
-Just so you know, I think they recalled these cars in 1974.
-Thanks.
-Hey, Josie, how are you at Calculus?
-Petty good.
-How would you like to join The Denominators? The Math Team could really use a new brain. We lost our best logarithm guy last year.
-College?
-What is with this school and prom?
-Southglen South competes every year for best prom, and usually they win. We Denominators don't even go to prom. -But to everyone else it's huge.
-Aldys, don't miss your prom--it only happens once.
-What's that?
-Sometimes I wonder what they talk about.
-Yeah, I know.
-Have you ever wanted to go to The Court?
-Are you kidding, Josie? It's lame. All they do is stand around and get drunk. It's lame.
-It is?
-Yes, it's lame.
-Yeah, it sounds lame. Why would we want to go there, and stand around?
-Hey, where's your sweatshirt?
-– uhh, must have forgotten-
-Remember, that poet that we liked – the reading he's doing at Big Cup? I got us tickets.
-Right. 7:30.
-What?
-Last night. 7:30. Big Cup. I kept calling you, but I only got your machine. I don't even know your parents line and I was really worried.
-It's romantic, what you're doing, and they want to be a part of it.
-Oh, man! Who told?
-YOU DID.
-Gus, have you ever been in love?
-Leave.
-Oh give it up, Gus. I'm just making conversation.
-Love. Who knows what that is? Now circulation, deadlines, those I understand.
-Go away. I have enough work here to last me all night.
-Listen, I don't have any plans-- you want some help?
-No Roger from op/ed?
-Hi. You're here for the sex talk?
-Well. I like a man who gets to the point.
-You're Pam?
-I had a lunch break so I thought I'd come by and see you. Your teacher is a fox! Why don't we discuss that after class. But the burning is totally normal. Oh look. Class is over already.
-I thought this was a 45-minute seminar.
-Now look. Let's focus. Prom theme. We need a new idea.
-Well excuse me.
-Guess who I did it with last night...
-Roger in Op/Ed.
-Who told!
-You did. Yesterday you said, and I quote, "I have a date with Roger from Op/Ed tonight and I'm going to do it with him."
-Intra office. And they're not dating. They're having sex.
-Okay. Remember when they took your office chair in for repairs and forgot to return it?
-Yeah.
-Forget it.
-I swear to God, Jos. When is the last time you went on a real live date?
-I'm concentrating on my career right now.
-Do you own any colored underwear? Stripes? Anything?!
-Anita!
-The right guy is out there. I'm just not going to kiss a whole bunch of losers to get to him.
-Yeah, but sometimes kissing the losers can be a fun diversion.
-Okay. If you've never kissed a guy, we got bigger problems than the underwear.
-My own undercover feature - "Written by Josie Geller".
-You don't think I can do it.
-Okay, just so I'm clear here -- neither of you think I can do this.
-Jos, that's not what we're --
-Senorita Josie.
-So, you were a geek. Big deal.
-Anita, remember espadrilles?
-Please. That doesn't make you a nerd. Everyone wore those shoes.
-The girls threw them at me in the locker room.
-Okay. That's bad.
-At the end of the yeat the person who got the most direct his to my head got to toss me into the pool.
-Now this is cute.
-That is lingerie.
-So I was thinking about what you were saying - y'know, about really being kissed? I think Roger could be the one.
-What'd you feel when you kissed him?
-Bridgework?
-How about this?
-Cuuuute!
-'Nita, this is about reporting, not accessorizing.
-And we're going to have to do something about your hair.
-Anita!
-Hi!
-Josie! Josie, how'd it go? Did he ream you?
-Yeah, but I'm okay. I've got some work to do.
-You need my help?
-Wow. It's packed.
-George! What are you doing here?
-What is this?
-Hidden camera.
-Wings?
-We used it for our expose on overweight flight attendants--"Is That Why They Never Give You a Second Bag of Nuts?"
-Hey Josie. It's Josie, right?
-wait, rewind. Do you really think she hooked-up with our Rob? They're so--different.
-Wannabes. Kirsten transitioned last year.
-Oh-my-God. You totally ripped off my Malibu Barbie idea.
-You guys--what is the one thing that could ruin my senior prom?
-That'll teach me to wear white after Labor Day.
-I think it's pronounced gauche.
-Josie, you have totally transitioned.
-Transitioned?
-: Wait. Do you know any gay guys?
-He is totally crunching on you.
-Do I want to be crunched?
-Hey Josie- who did Archie date Betty or Veronica?
-Don't tell me... You're Medieval Barbie.
-Computer's down. Septuplets story. I need it back by five. Hopefully the copy's not a mess.
-Well, excuse me for caring about words.
-How many times have I fired her?
-Five-- Six--
-Hey Gus--did you see the story idea I left on your desk?
-Yeah--the blind foster home mother. It was good. I got Cahoon on it.
-Oh. Cahoon. Yeah, he's--good.
-Geller, we've been over this. You're a great copy editor. Maybe my best copy editor. You're not a reporter.
-You've done five of my ideas.
-You know what separates us office flunkies from the reporters?
-They don't have to be in the office Christmas show?
-A flack jacket.
-A--flack jacket.
-Every Tom, Dick, and Harry thinks he can write. But a journalist gets in there, right where the bombs are. He's aggressive. Grabs the bull by the balls.
-You don't think I can grab bulls' balls?
-Geller, you don't want a reporter's life. They're very--messy. You're all about order. Control. And getting me my copy by five.
-Don't worry, I'll straighten all this out.
-But I don't want it straightened out.
-It's my dad. He worries. Hi, Dad. I miss you too.
-It's an expose on cafeteria food.
-And you're leading with the terrible truth about cole slaw?!
-Well, the bulk of it will be about the pimento loaf--
-No, I am appalled that I have a reporter in there, undercover, for almost three weeks now- I had to read about this in the Tribune.
-Responding officers found minors, marijuana, and cheap wine coolers when they responded to a call to break up a party at what Southglen High Schoolers have come to call "The Court." Seventeen-year-old Kristen Rey says, "Yeah, everyone who's anyone is at The Court on Saturday night."
-Yes, urm, she's right. I have learned it is a very popular place for the young people to go.
-Have you been there?
-Uhh, no.
-Have you been to any parties?
-This is where the stories are. You are going to become friends with these people. You are going to party with them. You are going to hang out with them on weekends. When they go to prom, you are going to be in their same damn limo!
-Do you even know these kids?
-Get to know them. Very well. Your job and my job depends on it.
-Depend on it. No s. Your subject is plural.
-Gus?
-No, it's the Great and Powerful Oz. Now listen--you're in over your head. This is how it's gonna work. I review the tapes, I find your story.
-What if I say no?
-That's your story!
-You're crazy. I can't--I can't-no. No.
-It's got it all--sex, intrigue, immorality in the education system--
-He's my teacher!
-And that's the best part. "Teacher-Student Relations: How close is too close?" We're gonna blow the lid off it!
-There is no lid! Nothing's going on between Sam and me. Coulson. Mr. Sam Coulson and me.
-Not yet. Every person in this office comes in here and watches you guys! It's like the goddamn Young and the Restless! Rigfort's salivating over it.
-Your story was Rigfort's baby. We were scooped! We've got nothing. Zippo. You totally and completely screwed both of us.
-Maybe I could talk to Rigfort, you know, tell him the whole story.
-Yes you are. A guy. Guy. Quite a guy. Oh my. Look at that--I rhymed. Yikes. Bikes!
-Oh my god.
-Rob's?
-Hey there.
-Maybe we should go in a different room?
-I'm sure you've probably heard that I want to ask you, but I'd like to know if you'd go to prom with me. I know we Didn't hit it off right at the beginning but-
-Rufus. But I don't even know where you live.
-You know what? Why don't you just pick me up here? We could all share a limo.
-You having fun?
-Hey--what are you thinking about?
-Shakespeare. How he described a night like this--"Look how the floor of heaven is thick inlaid with patines of bright gold". What about you? What are you thinking about?
-Oh.
-Josie, you rock my world. You're like the most amazing girl I've ever dated. You're so smart and fun and crazy! You rock my world.
-God, I can't do this.
-Maybe because we're not supposed to be having sex with bananas.
-You know what, though? I feel like I'm really ready to do it. To have sex for the first time.
-You know, Adele penguins pick one mate. They spend their whole life looking for that one other penguin and when they find it, they know. That's the penguin they stay with for the rest of their lives.
-Hey Rob, what's going on?
-That is so--weird that you name your car.
-No it's not. Guys name their penises.
-Okaaaay.... That car's going to bankrupt you.
-She just needs a new windshield wiper.
-Rob, take the money, okay? It's no big deal.
-No, it is. It's just one more thing to add to your "things that make you a better person than me" list.
-Better person than I.
-See!
-I know this woman. She works in admissions at Lakeshore Community? She might be able to get you in for the Fall semester. Maybe she could get you the baseball scholarship, and I could help and--
-I'm not going to college, Jos. And I'm not playing anymore baseball. This is my life.
-This--this is a luau that sells packing material!
-Someday this luau is going to be all mine!
-How can you just give up like that? You had a real shot at playing college ball and you let one case of mono stop everything. Don't you want more? To move out of Mom and Dad's? Pay your own bills?
-Oh yay! And then I could be as happy as you!
-It's just for a couple of months.
-You can't just "borrow" my car for a couple of months! That's like ten years in Bambi life!
-Wow. This must be big.
-What!?
-Do you remember high school?
-It was a long time ago -
-Josie Grossie.
-I know. I came up with it. You look nauseous.
-Are mom and dad here?
-No. They're at the Franklin Hint Expo at the Skokie Holiday Inn.
-No, I mean, no big whoop.
-These girls are high schoolers? Damn, we've got some underage hotties on our hands, here!
-Gus insists that I become friends with these kids. The popular kids. It's impossible.
-Rob, you don't know how it was for me back in high school. No one ever threw juice boxes at you in the hallway. You never dreamed about being popular- you already were. All I wanted was to be accepted, and they just fucking tortured me. I can't do all that again. I can't go back to Southglen South.
-Oh my God! You're at Southglen South? They have a killer baseball team.
-Jos, you've been to college, you're successful, you wash your hair now-- you're not Josie Grossie anymore.
-Don't you realize how much I wanted to be you in high school? Just for one minute to feel what it was like to be popular?
-Come on! It's not that hard. All you need is one person. Once the right person thinks you're cool, you're in. Everyone else will be too scared to question it.
-Is that true?
-Look, don't you wanna show them - Gus, Billy Prince, yourself--that you're not freaked out by the cool kids anymore? That you can go in there, be friends with them, and get your story?
-Yes, desperately.
-Plus, if you quit you're no better than me.
-Better than I...
-I've been in a horrible accident. This is a coma-induced nightmare.
-Are you crazy?! You can't do this.
-This is it Jos! This is my ninth inning! The game isn't over--I just thought it was! I get on the Southglen baseball team, the right scout sees me-- I'm into the minors- it's game time!
-You're twenty-three years old!
-With the reading comprehension of a fifteen year old! Plus, I'm popular... You want to be popular... I can recognize a cry for help when I see one.
-Really? Rob-, that girl is sixteen.
-And a gymnast!
-Wow, Josie- you look really-
-Rufus?
-Yes. Exactly. Major Rufus.
-Thanks. And what are -
-Rob--thanks. For everything. This is really happening. I never thought--
-Josie, finally. I just wanted to come over and make sure you're okay.
-No- not really, Josie. NOT REALLY. How could you do that to me? I helped you. I got you everything you wanted. And how do you repay me- you blow everything TWO DAYS before pro scouts come to see me play. Once they had seen me really play- they wouldn't have given a shit about my age.
-wasn't even thinking about-
-No, you weren't. Don't you realize the only time I was really happy in the last five years was when I was playing ball with those guys?
-I-
-Hi, everyone. I don t think we've met. I'm Sam Coulson- although for some reason the school has this thing about not letting you guys call me Sam.
-Whoa. Deja Vu.
-Dorothy Parker--
-You like her?
-I love the way she writes.
-Not the happiest of souls. "Art is a form of catharsis, and love is a permanent flop."
-But I think she wanted to be happy, that's why she wrote. I mean, she was still writing about love, right?
-True. I guess she hadn't completely given up hope. Are you sure you're seventeen?
-Sure, why?
-Because seventeen-year-olds do not like writers from the '30's. They don't even like people in their 30's.
-Hey, Josie, hold on. You've been hiding something from me.
-Oh I don't think so.
-Your writing. It's amazing, Josie. You're really talented. And far less depressing than Dorothy Parker.
-Thank you.
-So what are you thinking for college?
-College. Haven't really thought about it.
-That's crazy. I'll get you some applications.
-Oh no no no no no. See, my family, we don't go to college. We just go right into sheep herding.
-Josie you owe it to yourself to go. For your writing. You're a natural.
-Thanks. Wow. That's--really nice to hear.
-This seat taken?
-Are you--scared?
-I'm gonna tell you something here, and I hope it doesn't undermine my position as an authority figure. I'm a little afraid of heights.
-You're afraid of the Ferris wheel.
-Actually, it's more the plunging head first into the crowd part that gets me.
-Oh right. The Spiderman incident.
-You remember that story?
-Yoooooow.
-Okay This is okay. Smooth. Can I ask you something? Do you think I tell too many stories in class?
-That's what makes you interesting. As a teacher.
-God, I would love to think I'm an interesting teacher. I mean, I had maybe one or two teachers in high school who had any passion at all.
-You do. Seem to. Have passion. In the classroom.
-You have to say that. You're my student.
-Boys.
-I know.
-I'd like to tell you that we all grow out of it, but that's a lie. Some of us will always be rattling cages.
-Why do you do that?
-I don't know. And you know what's scary--when you get older it just gets more confusing. I've spent the last ten years with women who are basically all wrong for me. You know what, I shouldn't be talking about this stuff with you.
-You have to say that. You're my teacher.
-Thanks, Josie. This wasn't as bad as I thought.
-When are you going to open your eyes?
-You're really doing a great job here, Josie. I like your "can do" attitude.
-Thanks. They weren't related to Humpty Dumpty, were they? Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee?
-Maybe distant cousins. They did have that egg shape in common.
-But Humpty Dumpty was alone.
-That's sad, isn't it? He had to sit on that wall all by himself. He deserved to have somebody.
-That's really what we all need, right? Someone to sit up on the wall with us--
-Yeah. To watch the world go by.--
-Our penguin, right?
-Do you think you'll find her?
-Oh my God! I almost forgot--I got you a meeting with the admissions guy from Dartmouth!
-What! But--I wasn't even going to go to college--
-No, I know, but I pulled some strings, got him to look at your writing, and he agreed to meet you.
-Oh--yikes!
-told him --if I'm wrong about this girl, you can take away my teaching certificate!
-Wow. You believe in me that much--
-Josie--you make a really beautiful prom queen.
-Proms always make me sad. They're so final. Graduation. Everyone's scattering, moving on.
-Well, are you here with anybody?
-No, I'm alone.
-So--have you thought anymore about Dartmouth?
-"Surprise!" you were doing a story on me?!
-No, surprise, I thought you'd be--
-What? Happy? Why? Because it turns out all along that I was allowed to be attracted to you?
-You were attracted to me?
-Goddamnit, Josie! Drop the act. Do you have any idea what I went through every night because of you?! I was attracted to a 17 year old! When I wasn't taking cold showers, I was trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do when I couldn't teach anymore! I thought I was the one being unethical.
-Wait, I was going to tell you--
-You set me up. For a story. You know what's crazy? I was actually considering waiting for you.
-But now you don't have to--
-Now I don't want to! I bought all of your penguin crap. I thought I found her--the right one! And the problem was she was too young! No - the problem was--she didn't even exist!
-I did exist. I do exist. I'm the same person!
-The person I cared about wouldn't have done this. Everything out of your mouth has been a complete lie. I don't know you at all. For all I know you could hate Dorothy Parker.
-Please. Please don't walk away.
-I told you you could write, Josie Geller.
-Yes.
-What?
-Billy Prince is asking you to prom.
-Why?
-I don't know.
-The poem! I knew he liked the poem! Billy Prince is asking me to the prom.
-That is so sad --
-Kirsten, that bran muffin has like 75 fat grams.
-Into our group.
-We'd love to transition a gay guy into the group.
-Josie, you look Rufus.
-You ruined the whole thing!
-Hey Monty--you think we'll get any business today?
-I'm handing out a free lei to every customer! What do you think?
-I think maybe people are scared off by the tiki torches.
-Change is scary. Robbie, let me tell you a little something about the mail business. I've been in it over thirty years. And in those thirty years, the only thing that's changed is the Elvis stamp and some gun laws. People are bored! They wanna shake things up!
-Aloha! Welcome!
-Hi. I'm Tracy and I'm sixteen and I'm a gymnast and I don't have a boyfriend...
-Thank you. I'm Rob.
-Rob, what do you want to be when you grow up?
-Well, a ball player.
-Are you having fun?
-Good. Gibby gave me champagne.
-Wow - I-
-By name.
-<i> I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb.</i>
-<i> I've got something, listen now, This one is real good, you'll see. We'll send a present to his door Upon there'll be a note to read.</i>
-We followed your instructions.
-He <u>has</u> to know...
-Shock.
-<i> ... Let's draw straws.</i>
-<i> Jack said we should work together.</i>
-Not at all!
-He sure is big, Jack...
-Where're we taking him?
-The deadly nightshade you slipped me wore off, Sally... I thought I'd find you here....
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Didn't I tell you? I'm always right, you know, my dear... Aren't I?
-You're mine, you know. I made you.
-I know.
-If you went away, what would become of me?
-I'm grown up now. I have to leave some time.
-Of course you do, and I want you to... but there's no need to hurry it along, is there?
-I can't help it.
-I do the best I can to make it comfortable for us here.
-I know.
-That's not true. It's a beautiful home, wonderfully comfortable... I'm indebted to you for everything... It's just...
-Just what?
-Coming...
-What trail are you trying to throw me off now?
-Taste it.
-But why? It's <u>your</u> lunch. There isn't much there in the first place.
-Taste it.
-No.
-Why not?
-I'm not hungry. What's wrong? I spent all morning on that soup. I thought you liked Worm's Wart.
-But I have to go out. Something's happening out there.
-Then we'll both starve... An old man like me, who hardly has strength as it is -- me, without whom... me, your own father...
-Can't you make other creations?
-Uh-huh.
-When he left, he took a lot of equipment with him.
-He's conducting experiments of his own.
-<i> This is a thing called a present. The whole thing starts with a box...</i>
-<i> Just a box with bright colored paper And the whole thing topped with a bow.</i>
-<i> -- A bow? -- But why? -- How ugly! -- What's in it? -- What's in it?</i>
-<i> That's the point of the thing, not to know!</i>
-<i> -- It's a bat. -- Will it bend? -- It's a rat. -- Will it break? -- Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake.</i>
-We're here! You sent for us!
-<i> ... Birds of a feather.</i>
-<i> I say that we take a cannon Aim it at his door and then Knock three times and when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more.</i>
-<i> ... You're no fun.</i>
-You'd better be quiet, Sandy.
-You got your room straightened out yet?
-It's getting there.
-I know what's wrong with the air coditioning - just needs a shot of freon, is all.
-Dad's fixin' something again. Hit the deck!
-That's Lisa - I gotta get to school.
-Where are you going?
-Just out for a while.
-I told you I want that room unpacked.
-Oh, come on Dad...
-Help me with this thing!
-It's not the gas, Dad!
-You set this all up, didn't you? One of your sick jokes?
-What are you talking about?
-I don't know. COuldn't get the right price, I suppose.
-Oh, come on, Shirl, how'd you think we got such a good deal? Listen - all old houses have stories.
-Don't tell me it's not the gas! Your mother thought she smelled gas.
-I wasn't sure, Ken...
-Alright then, what is it? Bird rabies? That cheap seed you've been buying?
-Oh, please...
-Come back here!
-He needs professional help. I think we should take him to a psychiatrist.
-Are you nuts or something? What the hell is that going to do?
-Jesse, help!
-Oh, God, Jesse - I know you're there! Stop him!
-Wanna join your little friend?
-Where's Jesse?
-There is no Jesse. I'm Jesse now.
-I'm not afraid of you. You couldn't kill me...He's in there and I want him back. I'm gonna take him away from you and you're going straight back to hell, you son-of-a-bitch!
-I love you, Jesse. Come back to me.
-I'll kill you now.
-He can't hold you Jesse. He's losing his grip - you can get out.
-How much longer you figure he'll keep us out here?
-Could be all night. Guy gets his rocks off like this. Hangs out in queer S & M joints downtown. Likes prettyboys like you.
-So, what about you and that Poletti girl?
-What about it?
-You two got a thing going, or what?
-She's a neighbor, I drive her to school.
-She giving you any carfare for the ride?
-You got a problem with me, Grady?
-So, you live around here.
-Elm Street? You telling me you moved in to that big white house with the bars on the windows?
-Shit, you can tell your old man he's a real chump.
-What the hell are you talking about?
-You hit that ball pretty good, Walsh.
-It was okay.
-Who told you to choke up that way?
-My Dad. He played in the minors for a while, when he got out of college.
-Schneider shouldn't have called you out on that double.
-Yeah, well, Schneider's got a stick up his ass today.
-You remember your dreams, Grady?
-Oh Jesus. I'm gonna be sick.
-You're wasting your time, the guy's a basket case.
-Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me!
-I'm sorry...
-What are you doing here?
-You gotta let me stay here tonight, Grady.
-Are you nuts or something?
-You're fucked in the head.
-I'm scared, Grady. I know it sounds crazy. But, there's something trying to get into my body.
-The only thing trying to get into your body is female and waiting for you on a cabana floor. And you want to sleep with me. Go figure.
-Look, I don't care if you believe me or not...
-I believe you. You had some scary dreams, okay?
-Okay, schmuck. What do you want me to do?
-What?
-your timing was perfect - I was getting the third degree in there.
-How come?
-Aren't you afraid somebody could steal your car like that?
-Hi! You didn't have to wait.
-You okay?
-Yeah, yeah, sure.
-You shouldn't be fighting with that jerk.
-Who, Grady? Grady's alright, he's just a hothead.
-You mean a shithead.
-No, that's okay. I was just...unpacking.
-I figured you might like some help.
-You know her?
-I think it's sad...
-"March 7th - Glen asked me to sleep with him again. I can't yet - I like him, I want to make him happy but I'm not sure that I love him. I can't sleep with someone I don't love."
-"Rod's been killed - he got Rod. Just Glen and me now. Can't fall asleep!"
-Are you okay.
-Are you sure?
-This is amazing! Your dream told you where this was?
-That's when she started talking about Fred Krueger.
-Who?
-No. Never. You think that's what it is?
-Sorry. Schneider id it to me again.
-What's all this.
-At first I wasn't sure because you said that you never had anyting like last night happen before. But I found out that most people have the potential for tuning in to "the other world" and neve do. It has something to do with the environment - like they have to be in a place that's sending signals.
-Like a haunted house, right? I don't believe in ghosts.
-Look, you got electricity in your body, right?
-Yeah, I know...synapses neurong...
-And heat and chemical reactions. Where does it all go when you die?
-I don't know - into the air I suppose.
-What about "essential energy" the soul. Does that go into the air too? You think there's a good energy and a bab energy?
-I don't know. Where are we going?
-What is this place?
-Here.
-So, you feeling anything?
-What do you mean?
-Any ghosts in here?
-C'mon, cut it out.
-Well, what am I supposed to do?
-I feel like a jerk.
-Anything?
-Disappointed?
-About what?
-About not finding any bogey men?
-Yeah?
-Maybe it only happens when you're sleeping - that's the way it was with Nancy, wasn't it?
-Now, there's an idea we can take off on. Maybe we should drive out to the beach tonight and lay out a couple of blankets and... Until I fall asleep.
-Nancy went bonkers from this thing. You wouldn't be afraid of being out on the beach with a potential lunatic?
-What is it - What's wrong?
-Whoa!
-What is it?
-It's gone now.
-Will you stop and tell me what's wrong?
-I'm fine. Nothing's wrong.
-you didn't say more than two words to me the whole way here. You had another nightmare, didn't you?
-yeah, I had a bad night.
-You want to talk about it?
-You should eat something - you'll feel better.
-I'm not hungry.
-I wish you'd talk to me. We can figure it out, you know. We can figure it out together.
-I think I better go. I'm just not into it tonight. I'm sorry.
-Why won't you talk to me?
-You're not being fair to me. I'm worried about you and I want to help you get through this thing.
-I'm afraid to go to sleep, I'm afraid to stay awake - I'm ruining your party. They're gonna put me away for sure.
-Jesse, God - what happened?
-Oh, Christ, you're hurt...
-Who, Jesse?
-he's just waiting to take me. When I sleep.
-Fred Krueger. He's been trying to get hold of me, to use me. He needs me to get out of his world into ours...He's gonna take me again.
-You created him - you can destroy him. He lives off your fear. Fight him, Jesse!
-Hi.
-What's so funny?
-'Morning.
-Jess?
-Huh?
-Oh...uh, no, just some milk, Mom.
-Yeah, I'm fine. Just really hot upstairs.
-So, school going alright?
-Okay, I guess.
-Maybe we should call a doctor.
-I'm not taking drugs, Dad. Can I go to bed now?
-Jesse, please, let's talk about this!
-Morning.
-How'd you sleep, honey, okay?
-Hi, guys.
-Hi, Kerry.
-I got your invitation yesterday. Thanks. Any cute guys gonna be there?
-All of them.
-Yor dad picking the music again?
-There's a Jesse on the phone.
-What's that?
-We're gonna stay out of your way tomorrow night.
-You're going out?
-We're going up to bed now.
-Mrs. Parker, was Kristen acting different? Did you notice anything strange before she made the attempt?
-Kristen specializes in strangeness. I've spent thousands on psychiatirists.
-Did she always have nightmares?
-They've gotten worse since I took away her credit cards.
-I'm serious.
-Look, Miss Thompson, I don't know what you want from me.
-Just some answers. There are other kids involved, its not just Kristen. All good kids, smark kids.
-I'm sorry to hear that, but you're the experts on this, not me. If I had any insights, believe me, I'd share them with you.
-I'm sure you would.
-Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the club.
-I'll need to take her things.
-The maid packed a suitcase. Teresa! Teresa?
-I'll get it. Please, I don't mind.
-Are you crazy? You'll wake the whole neighborhood!
-Hi Mom.
-Don't "hi Mom" me. What are you still doing up? It's past one!
-I thought I'd wait for you.
-Well, I'm home now, so you can go right to sleep. C'mon, angel.
-It's okay, I'm not tired. Really.
-Kristen, don't start with me. You know what your shrink said...
-He's full of shit.
-And you don't want to keep him waiting.
-Honey, you'll wake the whole neighborhood!
-Mom?
-What are you still doing up? It's past one.
-I thought I'd wait for you.
-What?
-Can we talk? Just for a minute?
-Can't it wait till morning?
-Good morning, Jennifer.
-Morning, Doctor Goldman.
-Menthol, regular, ultra-light.
-They're healing up nicely.
-I've been good. When do I get cigarette priveleges back?
-Girl, what are you doing?
-Watching TV.
-I can see that. You watch too damn much TV.
-Research.
-Oh, right. You're gonna be a TV star.
-Wait and see.
-If Simms catches you in here after lights out, she'll chew my ass ragged.
-I gotta stay up, Max.
-Jennifer --
-If you get caught, I never saw you. Deal?
-Horseshit.
-I know who's trying to kill you.
-Don't fucking humor us. We're not in the mood.
-So what do we do about this creep?
-You didn't think we'd let you go alone?
-Kincaid -- we should find the others first...
-What's happening?
-I'm glad things have worked out for you.
-I think new York was just what I needed. So many people. I never feel alone.
-The city that never sleeps. So what will you do now?
-I don't know. I'm busy with school. New friends. But I'll never forget the old ones.
-To old friends. And your new dreams.
-It was great seeing you again. I'm glad you dropped by.
-Do you still...see each other?
-You pulled me in somehow, didn't you?
-I used to live in this house.
-Have you ever done that before? Pulled someone into your dream?
-When I was a little girl. Three or four. If I had a nightmare, I'd bring my Dad in. The dream would always get better. He always used to tell me about it the next day -- he used to think they were his dreams. NANCY When did it stop?
-When I was still a kid. My folks got divorced. After a while, I thought I'd imagined the whole thing. I guess I didn't.
-That man in my dreams. He's real isn't he?
-Nancy? Would you sit with me awhile?
-You like gymnastics?
-I was on the team at school. I was never very good, though.
-We're not always as good at things as we'd like.
-I haven't been able to do that since I was a little girl.
-You did it the other night.
-That was different.
-Freddy?
-Joey needs us. I can feel him.
-What's that?
-Nancy!
-Kristen, can you pull us out?
-They sedated me. We're stuck here till it wears off.
-Are you okay?
-He's gone. It's over. Please don't die, Nancy. Please.
-Hi, sweet stuff. Good news.
-Can't be good news coming from you.
-Pulled night duty. Trimble's sick.
-So?
-So...got the keys to heaven, baby.
-What?
-The dispensary. I'm talking clean pharmaceutical high. A night at Club meth.
-What are these, beauty marks?
-Those are ancient history.
-Oh yeah? Well, if you're ever in the mood for a history lesson, I'm your teacher, understand?
-Stay out of my face or I'll go straight to Max.
-Now who's gonna take the word of a crazy junkie chick like you?
-The whole wing's devoted ot this program. That's your office.
-A little basic, but nice.
-This is Phillip. We call him The Walker.
-Max, where's Kristen?
-Puttin' in soem late hours, I see. If you're trying for O.T., you're in the wrong place.
-I just wanted to be here for the kids. how are they?
-You need me, I'll be here all night.
-Save your breath, Ms. Thompson. Dr. Simms gave me specific instructions. Nobody gets to see Kristen -- especially you. She made that real clear.
-I don't know...
-You got five minutes.
-Nothing like a little cheery news to start the day.
-Say listen, Doc. I got a new theory about all these suicides.
-Don't hold back on us, Max. We need all the help we can get.
-Fucked up chromosomes, man. Think about it. Their parents all dropped acid in the Sixties.
-It beats Dr. Simm's theory. She thinks it's nothing but sex, drugs, and rock & roll.
-Well, if it isn't my little girl... come to visit her Daddy.
-It's been a long time.
-Yeah, but here you are. How'd I get so lucky? I thought you were trying to forget I was alive.
-Fred Krueger's dead. You always had a little trouble understanding that, Princess.
-I think we can stop him this time. Stop him for good. But we need to know where the bones were hidden.
-I lost too much over this already. I'm through with it.
-It's over. It's over.
-Crossed over?
-Tell me about the kids.
-You'll get to meet them all tomorrow. They're...survivors. In a way. All severely sleep disordered. Insomnia, narcolepsy, bedwetting...
-But nightmares are the common thread?
-Right. They seem to share a group delusion, a "boogeyman" for lack of a better word. They're so traumatized, they'll do anything not to sleep.
-Anything?
-We lost a kid about a month ago to Fairview. I don't know where he got the razor...but he cut off his own eyelids to stay awake.
-Oh God.
-Ever work with vets? These kids act like they've got D.S.S. -- Delayed Stress Syndrome. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they'd seen heavy combat.
-I wouldn't be so sure they haven't.
-I've had some experience with pattern nightmares.
-So I've been told. Practically an obsession of your.
-Call it a passion. I've got to get going.
-Ms. Thompson.
-Call me Nancy.
-Only if you call me Neil. What was that nursery rhyme all about?
-You're late.
-Didn't get much sleep.
-Yes, tell us, Nancy.
-This is nice.
-Never been here before?
-Must have opened while I was away at school.
-Most authentic Mexican food in Springwood, which isn't saying much. your parents still live around here?
-My mother's dead. Died in her sleep.
-Sorry.
-My father an I...well, the family just seemed to fall apart.
-Sounds like a rough time.
-It was. Neil, do you believe in other realities?
-I've been to Pittsburgh. Does that count?
-I'm serious.
-Okay...I believe in different levels of conciousness, that sort of thing...but if you're into UFO's or Atlantis, you've lost me.
-What if I told you your patients are in real physical danger from their dreams?
-That's a new one. Is that what they're teaching now at Stanford?
-That's what I know.
-The nightmares are nothing but a symptom of their real problems.
-All right. Then let's eliminate the symptom for the time being.
-With Hypnocyl?
-That's right.
-You want me to prescribe an experimental psychoactive drug to a bunch of suicidal teenagers?
-Just until we get things under control.
-Dream deprivation is nothing to fool around with. you have no business taking it yourself.
-I used to be like them, Neil. I know what they're going through.
-So do I.
-Do you? You told me they're survivors...and they are. But how much longer they survive is up to us.
-I can't believe I just did that.
-Do you think we can get the Hypnocyl in by tomorrow?
-To who?
-Doesn't matter.
-Stop blaming yourself.
-I'm running out of answers. A patient sleepwalks out of a security ward up to a tower with no access. A girl, alone in a room, dies by jumping six feet straight up into a television set. Nothing makes sense anymore.
-Then maybe you're ready.
-For what?
-The truth.
-Try me.
-Only if you're willing to put aside everything you've learned and trust me. Can you do that?
-You sound like Peter Pan.
-Remember -- open mind.
-Take us there, Kristen.
-We can try again.
-We made it. Neil, we made it!
-Take it slowly. Remember, this is a dream. Anything is possible.
-What are we going to do?
-You're not going in. That's exactly what he wants. As long as you're on Hypnocyl, it's the only way he can get to you.
-Don't you think I know that? I don't have any choice.
-Bullshit. Getting yourself killed won't do the kids any good. Besides, we do have a choice.
-Assuming your mysterious nun in right.
-I've heard crazier things this week.
-All right. Whoever she is, I'll admit she seems to know more about Krueger than I do.
-The question is, what happened to Freddy's body?
-They burned him to death in his boiler room, but they were smart enough to hide the remains.
-Who would know where they were hidden?
-Nancy...
-Oh Christ. Simms put Kristen in the Quiet Room for the night. They sedated her.
-Neil, it's no use. You saw how he is.
-I'm Taryn White. I only came here because it was a better deal than juvie hall. Also, I guess 'cause I'm going through some very stange shit.
-Your dreams?
-Who is he?
-What'd you do, take the scenic route?
-Okay, straight talk only in here.
-What about Kristen?
-And you won't make any progress until you can recognize your dreams for what they are.
-And what are they?
-We'll begin sedation tonight. Starting with him.
-You can't! They'll be defenseless against their dreams.
-That's precisely what they need. Some uninterrupted REM sleep to release all this negative energy.
-In there. Charlie Penny owns the place. We knew no one would ever find it. I'm not even sure I can find it again.
-How do we get in?
-We've got work to do.
-What are you talking about?
-What was that?
-What?
-Somebody else is out here.
-Science...I suppose.
-A sad choice.
-There are times when it doesn't offer much comfort. I've seen you before. Sister...?
-Mary Helena.
-You do volunteer work at the hospital?
-I could've saved them.
-Only one thing can save the children. The unquiet spirit must be laid to rest. It is an abomination to God and Man.
-This wing's been closed for years. What was this place?
-Purgatory...fashioned by the hands of men. Twisted, lost souls, the worst of the criminally insane, were locked away in here like animals.
-The whole facility was shut down in the Forties, wasn't it? Some kind of scandal...
-A young girl on the staff was accidentally locked in here over the holidays. The inmates managed to keep her hidden for days. She was raped...hundreds of times. When they found her, she was barely alive...and with child.
-My God.
-That girl was Amanda Krueger. Her child --
-Freddy.
-You said something before...about laying him to rest...?
-How is he?
-Cooling down.
-If he continues having these outbursts, I'll have to have him isolated permanently.
-What did you think?
-Frankly, I don't understand why some grad school superstar is being treated like a seasoned pro.
-She's been doing ground-breaking research on pattern nightmares.
-Okay, Group's in session. Straight talk only in this room.
-That's enough, Kincaid.
-Elizabeth, I'm prescribing Hypnocyl. It's a dream suppressant.
-I know what it is. I just can't believe what I'm hearing. What has she talked you into?
-Nothing. They're my patients. It's my decision. I want the dreams stopped until we get some answers.
-I won't allow it.
-I'm sorry, Neil. You brought this on yourself.
-For God's sake, Elizabeth...just try to help the kids, will you? Listen to them.
-I'm Will Stanton, and um...I've had a little accident, as you can see.
-Okay, you're attacked by the Bog Demon. Go ahead.
-Uh, fourteen.
-Doesn't count. You gotta say the words.
-This is stupid.
-C'mon.
-In the name of Elric, Prince of Elves, demon begone.
-Good. You conquer the demon, but your horse is sinking in the bog. What do you do?
-Why is he after us?
-Mom and Dad? That's...crazy. They never said...
-We're here.
-I'm in.
-Hi.
-I wonder if you could tell me where the...?
-What do you think of the guinea fowl?
-I'm a vegetarian.
-Lovely to meet you.
-Wait a minute. What about me?
-I'm sorry? You think you deserve the brownie?
-That was such a great evening.
-And may I say that's a gorgeous tie.
-Now you're lying.
-No!
-We are living in cloudcuckooland -- we'll never get this done today.
-We have to. I've got to be in New York on Thursday.
-God, that's an enormous arse.
-I'm not listening.
-No, but seriously -- it's not fair -- so many tragic young teenagers with anorexia -- and that girl has an arse she could perfectly well share round with at least ten other women -- and still be beg-bottomed.
-So I ask you when you're going to tell everyone, and you say...?
-'Tomorrow will be soon enough.'
-And then I... right.
-Who was that rather difficult chap you were talking to on the way up?
-So tell me Anna -- what do you do?
-I'm an actress.
-Splendid. I'm actually in the stock- market, so not really similar fields, though I have done some amateur stuff -- P.G. Wodehouse, you know -- farce, all that. 'Ooh -- careful there, vicar.' Always imagined it's a pretty tough job, though, acting. I mean the wages are a scandal, aren't they?
-Well, they can be.
-I see friends from university -- clever chaps -- been in the business longer than you -- they're scraping by on seven, eight thousand a year. It's no life. What sort of acting do you do?
-Films mainly.
-Oh splendid. Well done. How's the pay in movies? I mean, last film you did, what did you get paid?
-Fifteen million dollars.
-No, thanks. I'll just look around.
-That book's really not good -- just in case, you know, browsing turned to buying. You'd be wasting your money.
-Really?
-I think the man who wrote it has actually been to Turkey, which helps. There's also a very amusing incident with a kebab.
-Sorry about that...
-No, that's fine. I was going to steal one myself but now I've changed my mind. Signed by the author, I see.
-Oh Jesus.
-Nothing, nothing... Look, I live just over the street -- you could get cleaned up.
-No thank you. I need to get my car back.
-Okay. So what does 'just over the street' mean -- give it to me in yards.
-Would you like a cup of tea before you go?
-No thanks.
-Coffee?
-No.
-Something else cold -- coke, water, some disgusting sugary drink pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest?
-Really, no.
-Would you like something to nibble -- apricots, soaked in honey -- quite why, no one knows -- because it stops them tasting of apricots, and makes them taste like honey, and if you wanted honey, you'd just buy honey, instead of apricots, but nevertheless -- there we go -- yours if you want them.
-No.
-No. I better be going. Thanks for your help.
-Thank you.
-Oh hi. Forget something?
-I forgot my bag.
-Here we go.
-I apologize for the 'surreal but nice' comment. Disaster...
-Probably best not tell anyone about this.
-Right. No one. I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes but... don't worry -- I won't believe it.
-Hello. Hi. Hi.
-Oh hi. It's William Thacker. We, ahm I work in a bookshop.
-You played it pretty cool here, waiting for three days to call.
-No, I've never played anything cool in my entire life. Spike, who I'll stab to death later, never gave me the message.
-Oh -- Okay.
-Perhaps I could drop round for tea or something?
-Yeh -- unfortunately, things are going to be pretty busy, but... okay, let's give it a try. Four o'clock could be good.
-Hi.
-Hello.
-Sorry about not ringing back. The whole two-names concept was totally too much for my flatman's pea-sized intellect.
-Right. Ahm... the film's great... and I just wondered -- whether you ever thought of having more... horses in it?
-Ahm -- well -- we would have liked to -- but it was difficult, obviously, being set in space.
-I'm sorry -- I arrived outside -- they thrust this thing into my hand -- I didn't know what to do.
-No, it's my fault, I thought this would all be over by now. I just wanted to sort of apologize for the kissing thing. I seriously don't know what got in to me. I just wanted to make sure you were fine about it.
-I'm just a complete moron. Sorry. This is the sort of thing that happens in dreams -- not in real life. Good dreams, obviously -- it's a dream to see you.
-Are you busy tonight?
-Well, it was nice to meet you. Surreal but nice.
-Ahm. That thing I was doing tonight -- I'm not doing it any more. I told them I had to spend the evening with Britain's premier equestrian journalist.
-Oh well, great. Perfect. Oh no -- shittity brickitty -- it's my sister's birthday -- shit -- we're meant to be having dinner.
-Okay -- fine.
-But no, I'm sure I can get out of it.
-No, I mean, if it's fine with you, I'll, you know, be your date.
-You'll be my date at my little sister's birthday party?
-If that's all right.
-I'm sure it's all right. My friend Max is cooking and he's acknowledged to be the worst cook in the world, but you know, you could hide the food in your handbag or something.
-Okay.
-You'll have to prove it. This is a great brownie and I'm going to fight for it. State your claim.
-Floppy, huh?
-It's the hair! It's to do with the hair.
-Why is she in a wheelchair?
-It was an accident -- about eighteen months ago.
-And the pregnancy thing -- is that to do with the accident?
-Too complicated.
-That's fine.
-Busy tomorrow?
-I thought you were leaving.
-Gardens. All these streets round here have these mysterious communal gardens in the middle of them. They're like little villages.
-Let's go in.
-Ah no -- that's the point -- they're private villages -- only the people who live round the edges are allowed in.
-You abide by rules like that?
-Whoopsidaisies.
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
-Yes, you did.
-No, I didn't.
-I don't think so. No one has said 'whoopsidaisies,' do they -- I mean unless they're...
-There's no 'unless.' No one has said "whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.
-It's a disease I've got -- it's a clinical thing. I'm taking pills and having injections -- it won't last long.
-So who left who?
-She left me.
-Why?
-She saw through me.
-I'm sorry.
-I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that.
-No, you were brilliant
-I'm rash and I'm stupid and what am I doing with you?
-I don't know, I'm afraid.
-Here we are. Do you want to come up?
-There seem to be lots of reasons why I shouldn't.
-To be able to do that is such a wonderful thing.
-You've got to go.
-Why?
-Because my boyfriend, who I thought was in America, is in fact in the next room.
--- this is a fairly strange reality to be faced with. To be honest, I don't realize...
-I'm sorry... I don't know what to say.
-Hi. Can I come in?
-I don't know where to go. The hotel is surrounded.
-This is the place.
-These are such horrible pictures. They're so grainy... they make me look like...
-Don't think about it. We'll sort it out. Now what would you like -- tea ... bath...?
-I'm really sorry about last time. He just flew in -- I had no idea -- in fact, I had no idea if he'd ever fly in again.
-No, that's fine. It's not often one has the opportunity to adios the plates of a major Hollywood star. It was a thrill for me. How is he?
-I don't know. It got to the point where I couldn't remember any of the reasons I loved him. And you... and love?
-Well, there's a question -- without an interesting answer.
-I have thought about you.
-Just anytime I've tried to keep things normal with anyone normal -- it's been a disaster.
-I appreciate that absolutely. Is that the film you're doing?
-Yes -- start in L.A. on Tuesday.
-Would you like me to take you through your lines?
-Would you? It's all talk, talk, talk.
-Hand it over. Basic plot?
-I'm a difficult but brilliant junior officer who in about twenty minutes will save the world from nuclear disaster.
-'Message from command. Would you like them to send in the HKs?'
-'No, turn over 4 TRS's and tell them we need radar feedback before the KFT's return at 19 hundred -- then inform the Pentagon that we'll be needing black star cover from ten hundred through 12.15' -- and don't you dare say one word about how many mistakes I made in that speech or I'll pelt you with olives.
-'Very well, captain -- I'll pass that on straightaway.'
-'Thank you.' How many mistake did I make?
-Eleven.
-Damn. 'And Wainwright...'
-Cartwright.
-'Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is, I promised little Jimmy I'd be home for his birthday -- could you get a message through that I may be a little late.'
-'Certainly. And little Johnny?'
-My son's name is Johnny?
-Yup.
-Well, get a message through to him too.
-Brilliant. Word perfect I'd say.
-What do you think?
-Gripping. It's not Jane Austen, it's not Henry James, but it's gripping.
-You think I should do Henry James instead?
-I'm sure you'd be great in Henry James. But, you know -- this writer's pretty damn good too.
-Yes -- I mean -- you never get anyone in 'Wings of a Dove' having the nerve to say 'inform the Pentagon that we need black star cover.'
-You like Chagall?
-I do. It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky.
-With a goat playing a violin.
-You've got big feet.
-Yes. Always have had.
-You know what they say about men with big feet?
-No. What's that?
-The thing that's so irritating is that now I'm so totally fierce when it comes to nudity clauses.
-You actually have clauses in your contact about nudity?
-Definitely. 'You may show the dent at the top of the artist's buttocks -- but neither cheek. In the event of a stunt person being used, the artist must have full consultation.'
-You have a stunt bottom?
-I could have a stunt bottom, yes.
-Would you be tempted to go for a slightly better bottom than your own?
-Definitely. Ths is important stuff.
-It's one hell of a job. What do you put on your passport? Profession -- Mel Gibson's bottom.
-Actually, Mel does his own ass work. Why wouldn't he? It's delicious.
-The ice cream or Mel Gibson's bottom?
-Today has ben a good day. Which under the circumstances is... unexpected.
-Well, thank you. Anyway -- time for bed. Or... sofa-bed.
-Oh please sod off.
-Okay.
-Wow.
-It still strikes me as, well, surreal, that I'm allowed to see you naked.
-You and every person in this country.
-Oh God yes -- I'm sorry.
-What is it about men and nudity? Particularly breasts -- how can you be so interested in them?
-Well...
-No seriously. I mean, they're just breasts. Every second person in the world has got them...
-More than that actually, when you think about it. You know, Meatloaf has a very nice pair...
-But... they're odd-looking. They're for milk. Your mum's got them. You must have seen a thousand of them -- what's the fuss about?
-Rita Hayworth used to say -- 'they go to bed with Gilda -- they wake up with me.' Do you feel that?
-Who was Gilda?
-Her most famous part -- men went to bed with the dream -- and they didn't like it when they woke up with the reality -- do you feel that way with me?
-You're lovelier this morning than you have ever been.
-Can I stay a bit longer?
-Stay forever.
-What?
-Oh my God. And they got a photo of you dressed like that?
-Undressed like this, yes.
-How are you doing?
-How do you think I'm doing?
-I don't know what happened.
-That's not true.
-This is such a mess. I come to you to protect myself against more crappy gossip and now I'm landed in it all over again. For God's sake, I've got a boyfriend.
-As far as they're concerned I do. And now tomorrow there'll be pictures of you in every newspapers from here to Timbuktu.
-I know, I know -- but... just -- let's stay calm...
-You can stay calm -- it's the perfect situation for you -- minimum input, maximum publicity. Everyone you ever bump into will know. 'Well done you -- you slept with that actress -- we've seen the pictures.'
-That's spectacularly unfair.
-Now stop. Stop. I beg you -- calm down. Have a cup of tea.
-And remember -- Spike owes you an expensive dinner. Or holiday -- depending if he's got the brains to get the going rate on betrayal.
-You're right: of course, you're right. It's just that I've dealt with this garbage for ten years now -- you've had it for ten minutes. Our perspectives are different.
-I mean -- today's newspapers will be lining tomorrow's waste paper bins.
-Excuse me?
-Well, you know -- it's just one day. Today's papers will all have been thrown away tomorrow.
-This is certainly... ah...
-I only found out you were here yesterday.
-It's not going very well -- and it's our last day.
-Absolutely -- you're clearly very busy.
-But... wait... there are things to say.
-Okay.
-Hi.
-Hello.
-You disappeared.
-Yes -- I'm sorry -- I had to leave... I didn't want to disturb you.
-Well... how have you been?
-Fine. Everything much the same. When they change the law Spike and I will marry immediately. Whereas you... I've watched in wonder. Awards, glory ...
-I thought I'd give it to you.
-Thank you. Shall I...
-No, don't open it yet -- I'll be embarrassed.
-Okay -- well, thank you. I don't know what it's for. But thank you anyway.
-I actually had it in my apartment in New York and just thought you'd... but, when it came to it, I didn't know how to call you... having behaved so... badly, twice. So it's been just sitting in the hotel. But then... you came, so I figured... the thing is... the thing is ...
-You were saying...
-But yesterday... that actor asked you who I was... and you just dismissed me out of hand... I heard -- you had a microphone... I had headphones.
-Sorry about that.
-... can I just say 'no' to your kind request and leave it at that?
-... Yes, that's fine. Of course. I... you know... of course... I'll just... be getting along then... nice to see you.
-... with you, I'm in real danger. It took like a perfect situation, apart from that foul temper of yours -- but my relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not recover if I was once again ... cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be. There are too many pictures of you everywhere, too many films. You'd go and I'd be... well, buggered,
-I see. That reality is a real 'no,' isn't it?
-I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are. My mother has trouble remembering my name.
-I hoped there might be -- but no, I'm assured there aren't.
-Yes, I'm pretty sure I would.
-Yes...
-Really -- don't do that -- I'm sure this is not his job.
-Thank you, Bernie. Hey -- nice surprise, or nasty surprise?
-Liar. She hates surprises. What are you ordering?
-I haven't decided.
-Excuse me.
-Yes.
-Can I have your autograph?
-What's your name?
-What does it say?
-Well, that's the signature -- and above, it says 'Dear Rufus -- you belong in jail.'
-Nice one. Would you like my phone number?
-Can I just say, I thought 'Ghost' was a wonderful film.
-Is that right?
-Yes... I've always wondered what Patrick Swayze is like in real life.
-I can't say I know Patrick all that well.
-Oh dear. He wasn't friendly during the filming?
-He's bringing a girl?
-Miracles do happen.
-Does the girl have a name?
-He wouldn't say.
-That's right.
-Where are you going?
-Down Kensington Church Street, then Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner.
-Quickly, quickly -- talk very quickly what are you doing here with Anna Scott?
-Anna Scott?
-Yes.
-The movie star?
-Yup.
-No. Not true...
-I just want to say to Tony -- don't take it personally. The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life -- no one knows why some things work out, and some things don't -- why some of us get lucky -- and some of us...
-... get fired.
-No!
-Hiya -- sorry -- the guinea fowl is proving more complicated than expected.
-He's cooking guinea fowl?
-Bella -- this is Anna.
-Still loves you though.
-In a depressingly asexual way.
-I mean I loved you -- you were terribly funny. But all that kissing my ears...
-Oh no -- this is just getting worse. I am going to find myself, 30 years from now, still on this couch.
-Do you want to stay?
-Good decision. All actresses are mad as snakes.
-This painting isn't the original, is it?
-Bernie.
-But she said she wanted to go out with you?
-Yes -- sort of...
-That's nice.
-What?
-Well, you know, anybody saying they want to go out with you is... pretty great... isn't it...
-Bloody hell, this is fun.
-Hello, Bernie.
-Bernie -- this is Anna.
-Having you here, Anna, firmly establishes what I've long suspected, that we really are the most desperate hot of under-achievers.
-Shame!
-If anyone gets in our way -- we have small nuclear devices.
-And we intend to use them!
-Is this your first film?
-No -- it's my 22nd.
-Of course it is. Any favourite among the 22?
-Working with Leonardo.
-Da Vinci?
-Di Caprio.
-By the way -- it's you.
-Me?
-Yes. What do you think?
-I was called and I came. What's up?
-William has just turned down Anna Scott.
-What happened?
-Hi guys. Oh holy fuck.
-Have we got something for you. Something which will make you love me so much you'll want to hug me every single day for the rest of my life.
-Blimey. What's that?
-The phone number of Anna Scott's agent in London and her agent in New York. You can ring her. You think about her all the time -- now you can ring her!
-Well, thanks, that's great.
-What do you think? Good move?
-Ahm... room service.
-How you doing? I thought you guys all wore those penguin coats.
-Well, yes -- usually -- I'd just changed to go home -- but I thought I'd just deal with this final call.
-Oh great. Could you do me a favour and try to get us some really cold water up here?
-I'll see what I can do.
-Still, not sparkling.
-Absolutely. Ice cold still water.
-Unless it's illegal in the UK to serve liquids below room temperature: I don't want you going to jail just to satisfy my whims...
-No, I'm sure it'll be fine.
-And maybe you could just adios the dishes and empty the trash.
-Ah -- no. It's fine.
-What's your name?
-I agree.
-'Horse and Hound.' The name's William Whacker. I think she might be expecting me.
-If you'd like to come with me we can rush you through the others.
-The others?
-Mr. Thacker?
-Yes?
-Are you a fan of Henry James?
-Pleased to meet you. Did you like the film?
-Ah... yes, enormously.
-Well, fire away.
-Right, right. Ahm -- did you enjoy making the film?
-I did.
-Any bit in particular?
-Well, you tell me which bit you liked most -- and I'll tell you if I enjoyed making it.
-Classic. Absolutely classic. Profit from major sales push -- minus ?347.
-Shall I go get a cappuccino? Ease the pain.
-Cappuccino as ordered.
-Thanks. I don't think you'll believe who was just in here.
-Would be exciting if someone famous did come into the shop though, wouldn't it? Do you know -- this is pretty incredible actually -- I once saw Ringo Starr. Or at least I think it was Ringo. It might have been that broke from 'Fiddler On The Roof,' Toppy.
-Topol.
-That's right -- Topol.
-But Ringo Starr doesn't look anything like Topol.
-No, well... he was quite a long way away.
-So it could have been neither of them?
-I suppose so.
-Right. It's not a classic anecdotes, is it?
-Right -- want another one?
-Martin -- your customer.
-I have to disturb you when you're cooking the books, but there's a delivery.
-Martin, can't you just deal with this yourself?
-But it's not for the shop. It's for you.
-Excuse me -- it's your mother on the phone.
-Can you tell her I'll ring her back.
-I actually tried that tack -- but she said you said that before and it's been twenty-four hours, and her foot that was purple is now a sort of blackish color...
-Max. This is Anna.
-You haven't slept with her, have you?
-That is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.
-'No comment' means 'yes.'
-No, it doesn't.
-Do you ever masturbate?
-Definitely no comment.
-So I get the brownie?
-You didn't know she had a boyfriend?
-Bloody hell, I can't believe it -- my whole life ruined because I don't read 'Hello' magazine.
-Let's face facts. This was always a no-go situation. Anna's a goddess and you know what happens to mortals who get involved with the gods.
-Buggered?
-Every time. But don't despair -- I think I have the solution to your problems.
-Well?
-I think you have forgotten... what an unusual situation you have here -- to find someone you actually love, who'll love you -- the chances are... always miniscule. Look at me -- not counting the American -- I've only loved two girls in my whole life, both total disasters.
-That's not fair.
-Wait a minute -- I'm your brother and I don't know anything about this.
-Any more announcements?
-Yes -- I feel I must apologize to everyone for my behavior for the last six months. I have, as you know, been slightly down in the mouth.
-There's an understatement. There are dead people on better form.
-So -- you've laid the ghost.
-I believe I have.
-Don't give a damn about the famous girl.
-No, don't think I do.
-Oh God no.
-Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian.
-Hello.
-May I help you, sir?
-Ahm, look this is a very odd situation. I'm a friend of Anna Scott's -- and she rang me at home the day before yesterday -- and left a message saying she's staying with you...
-I'm sorry, we don't have anyone of that name here, sir.
-Yes, sir. I have him in my mind.
-No, sir.
-How about Miss Flintstone?
-No, sir.
-No, sir.
-Can I help you?
-Yes -- I was looking for Anna Scott...
-Does she know you're coming?
-No, no. She doesn't.
-I'm afraid I can't really let you through then, sir.
-Oh right. I mean, I am a friend -- I'm not a lunatic but -- no, you basically...
-Even he. Hey, you couldn't help me with an incredibly important decision, could you?
-This is important in comparison to, let's say, whether they should cancel third world debt?
-That's right -- I'm at last going out on a date with the great Janine and I just want to be sure I've picked the right t-shirt.
-What are the choices?
-Yes -- might make it hard to strike a really romantic note.
-Cool, huh?
-Yes -- she might think you don't have true love on your mind.
-Well, yes, that's perfect. Well done.
-Thanks. Great. Wish me luck.
-There's something wrong with this yogurt.
-It's not yogurt -- it's mayonnaise.
-Imagine -- somewhere in the world there's a man who's allowed to kiss her.
-Hey.
-Just incidentally -- why are you wearing that?
-Ahm -- combination of factors really. No clean clothes...
-There never will be, you know, unless you actually clean your clothes.
-There's something wrong with the goggles though...
-No, they were prescription, so I could see all the fishes properly.
-Groovy. You should do more of this stuff.
-So -- any messages?
-Yeh, I wrote a couple down.
-Two? That's it?
-Who were the ones you didn't write down from?
-Ahm let's see -- ahm. No. Gone completely. Oh no, wait. There was -- one from your mum: she said don't forget lunch and her leg's hurting again.
-Right. No one else?
-What did she say?
-Well, it was genuinely bizarre... she said, hi -- it's Anna -- and then she said, call me at the Ritz -- and then gave herself a completely different name.
-Which was?
-Try 'Flintstone.'
-What?
-I think she said her name was 'Flintstone.'
-Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. Have you seen my glasses?
-No, 'fraid not.
-Bollocks. This happens every time I go to the cinema. Average day, my glasses are everywhere -- everywhere I look, glasses. But the moment I need them they disappear. It's one of life's real cruelties.
-That's compared to, like, earthquakes in the Far East or testicular cancer?
-Thanks for your help on the glasses thing.
-You're welcome. Did you find them?
-Well, okay. There's this girl...
-Aha! I'd been getting a female vibe. Good. Speak on, dear friend.
-I don't mention that Anna's a vegetarian, did I?
-Oh my God... Hello.
-Spike.
-I don't want to interfere, or anything ... but she's split up from her boy- friend, that's right isn't it?
-Maybe.
-And she's in your house.
-Yes.
-And you get on very well.
-Yes.
-Well, isn't this perhaps a good opportunity to... slip her one?
-Spike. For God's sake -- she's in trouble -- get a grip.
-Right. Right. You think it's the wrong moment. Fair enough. Do you mind if I have a go?
-Spike!
-No -- you're right.
-I'll talk to you in the morning.
-I wouldn't go outside.
-Why not?
-I went out in my goddamn underwear too.
-What he's going to say next is -- there are people starving in the Sudan.
-Was it you?
-I suppose I might have told one or two people down the pub.
-What's going on?
-I'm going to throw out these old videos.
-No. You can't bin these. They're classics. I'm not allowing this.
-Right -- let's talk about rent...
-Which floor?
-Are you sure you...?
-Yes.
-No -- they're... for my grandmother. She's in a hospital nearby. Thought I'd kill two birds with one stone.
-Do you mind me not saying -- it's a rather distressing disease and the name of the hospital rather gives it away.
-How was she?
-Fabulous.
-Excuse me.
-Yes.
-Bad news.
-What?
-We've got a security camera in this bit of the shop.
-So?
-So, I saw you put that book down your trousers.
-What book?
-The one down your trousers.
-I haven't got a book down my trousers.
-Right -- well, then we have something of an impasse. I tell you what -- I'll call the police -- and, what can I say? -- If I'm wrong about the whole book-down-the-trousers scenario, I really apologize.
-Okay -- what if I did have a book down my trousers?
-At the close of Friday's meeting, we were discussing Mister Harding's problem, concerning his wife... Mister Harding stated that his wife made him uneasy because she drew stares from men on the street. Is that correct, Mister Harding?
-Yes, that's perfectly correct.
-Am I to take it that there isn't a man among you who has an opinion concerning this matter? Mister Harding, you've stated on more than one occasion that you suspected your wife of seeing other men.
-Yes, Miss Ratched, this is correct.
-But you have no proof.
-No, Miss Ratched...
-And yet you suspect her.
-Yes, that is correct.
-Why?
-I can only speculate as to the reasons why.
-No secrets, Mister Harding. Let's get it all out in the open...
-Yes, Mister Harding?
-Yes, Mister Harding?
-Is it true McMurphy killed two attendants and escaped yesterday?
-M-m-m-ma'am?
-Would you like to start?
-N-n-n-n-n-no, ma'am.
-Yes, Billy?
-Was it your idea to visit her on Sunday?
-Y-y-y-yes...
-Tell us about it...
-What was it about her that disturbed you so, Billy?
-I was in luh-love with her.
-You mean you don't want their votes to count, Billy!
-P-p-p-please du-du-du-don't t-t tell her, p-p-please...
-You should have thought about that before you brought that woman in here!
-N-n-n-n-no, no, I du-du-du-didn't, I didn't!
-I don't want your mother to believe something like this but what am I to think?
-Sh-sh-sh-she m-m-made m-m-me do it!
-Billy, that girl couldn't have pulled you in there forcibly...
-Sh-sh-she did! Everybody did!
-Who? Tell me!
-Get up, Billy.
-N-n-n-n-duh-duh-duh-pl-pl-pl-pl-muh muh-muh...
-Easy now, don't smudge 'em, we got lots of games ahead of us...
-Yes, ma'am...
-Will you come with me, please.
-My name is Miss Ratched. I'm the head nurse here. You've already met Miss Pilbow and Aides Washington and Warren.
-We do appreciate the way you have taken it upon yourself to meet the other patients.
-This is your bed. You may leave your things in that cabinet.
-Yes, ma'am...
-Please use your time to familiarize yourself with your new home and if there is anything you need to know, don't hesitate to ask us.
-Now that you mention it, I sure would like to call my aunt up in Portland and tell 'er where I am so she can come visit me.
-All in good time, Mister McMurphy. All in good time.
-Yes, ma'am.
-Is there anything else?
-Just that I'm glad to be here, Miss Ratched. I really am.
-Yeah, you ain't half so bad looking for a head nurse.
-Yes. Now go along, Mister McMurphy. Go along.
-Mister McMurphy, this ward is a democratic community run by the patients and their votes, so you should feel at ease in your new surroundings to the extent you can freely discuss emotional problems in front of the patients and staff. However, the cardinal rule, and I must emphasize this: Everyone keeps their seat during the meeting!
-Yeah, well, it just pains me somethin' awful to see a full growed man sloshing around in his own water...
-Mister McMurphy. Patients aren't allowed in here.
-Pardon me, ma'am, can I ask you somethin'?
-Yes, Mister McMurphy?
-How 'bout turning off that music for a while so a man can hear himself think?
-Well, say, how 'bout easin' it down a bit so a man don't have to shout!
-Sorry to have bothered you.
-That's all right, Miss Pilbow, if Mister McMurphy does not wish to take his medication orally, he may...
-Mister McMurphy, patients are not permitted to run around in towels.
-I wanna report a robbery!
-On this ward?
-Yeah, some creep stole my cigarettes!
-Oh, I had them removed.
-What for?
-Now you boys hurry along and wash up for breakfast... You too, Mister McMurphy.
-Well, say. How 'bout springing a pack of cigarettes loose?
-After breakfast, Mister McMurphy, after breakfast.
-You sure run a tight-assed ship 'round here, don't ya!
-Yes, Mister McMurphy.
-Right... I've been givin' some serious consideration to what you told me about the democratic something of this therapeutic community of ours, an' I got a few things I wanna get off my chest, before we get back to Harding's problem.
-Certainly, Mister McMurphy.
-I'm not finished yet.
-Go on...
-'Kay, item two. Tomorrow, and listen carefully to me, you ding-a lings. Tomorrow is the opening game of the World Series an' what I want is to take a vote on switchin' the group meetin' to later on in the day, so we can watch the ballgame.
-Just a minute, Mister McMurphy!
-Yeah?
-Please understand, the schedule has been set up for a delicately balanced reason that would be thrown into turmoil by a switch of routines.
-Yes. Now was there anything else you wanted to discuss, Mister McMurphy?
-That was the first time you attempted to commit suicide, wasn't it? You must try to talk about it, Billy.
-Jesus Christ, the man doesn't want to talk, so get off his back an' let's get on to some new business.
-Mister McMurphy, the purpose of this meeting is therapy. Group therapy.
-Yeah, yeah, the hell with that crap! The World Series is goin' on right' now an' that's therapy also!
-Let me pose a question to the group: do any of you feel that Mister McMurphy is perhaps imposing his personal desires on you too much?
-Yeah, it'll satisfy me.
-Very well. What is it you're proposing, Mister McMurphy?
-I'm proposing a re-vote on watchin' the ballgame!
-A vote is before the group.
-Okay, I wanna see the hands. I wanna see which of you birds has any guts.
-That's it! We made it!
-I'm sorry, Mister McMurphy, I count only eight.
-So do I!
-But there are eighteen patients on the ward, Mister McMurphy.
-You mean to tell me you're gonna count those old birds over there?
-I'm sorry, Mister McMurphy, but you must have a majority to change ward policy.
-Mister McMurphy, you are deliberately violating the rules!...
-You men remain seated!
-Yeah, ya should've come along with us, Miss Ratched, an' gotten a little sun on your cheeks and maybe caught a fish or two.
-Mr. McMurphy, you had no right to take these men out with you!
-Yeah, that's kind of crazy, ain't it!
-Mister McMurphy.
-Yes, ma'am?
-Welcome back.
-Thank you, ma'am.
-I hope everything is settled.
-Good. Why don't you join us?
-Miss Ratched, would you please save a space for my aunt? She's comin' down from Portland.
-Certainly, Mister McMurphy, with pleasure.
-Gotta go now, ma'am...
-Yes. Good luck, Mister McMurphy.
-Yes, Miss Ratched?
-Mister Washington, why don't we get a good head start on the day by shaving Mister Bromden and see if we can't avoid a disturbance.
-Yes, Miss Ratched?
-Please see to Mister Bromden.
-Put him in Doctor Spivey's office!
-Whatcha boys playin'?
-H-H-Hearts.
-What's your name, buddy?
-B-B-Billy.
-What I wanna know is who's the top loony around here?
-Y-Y-You m-mean th-the pr-president of the P-P-Patients C-Council?
-Yeah, that'll do for openers!
-Y-y-yes! Yes! Y-y-y-you s-s-saw wh wh-what she c-c-can do to us!
-Break it up, God dammit! Ain't I got enough troubles without you guys messin' around... can't depend on nobody.
-M-M-Mack, y-y-y-you c-c-can't l-l lift that thing!
-That's okay, kid...
-Th-th-then y-y-you're n-n-not m-m mad?
-No, kid, it was my own stupidity, that's what pissed me off.
-O-o-o-oh...
-What we're gonna have to do is pull this ballclub together for our next play. 'Kay!
-Hey, Billy. Billy boy, wake up and say goodbye to your ol' buddy.
-W-w-w-what is it, M-M-Mac?
-So long, kid.
-Wh-wh-wh-wh...
-So long suckers.
-Come on, don't crap out on me now. We got two buddies out there!
-I-I d-d-don't know! M-M-Miss R Ratched g-g-g-g...
-A bus?
-Y-y-yes, a b-b-bus!
-I-I-I'm w-w-wet...
-Your horses are hungry, That's what she did say, Come sit down beside me, An' feed them some hay. My horses ain't hungry, They wontt eat your hay-ay-aeee...
-H-Hey, M-Mack.
-Yeah, kid?
-'K-Kay, M-Mack!
-H-H-Help!
-What is it, kid?
-H-h-how's it g-g-going, Mack?
-W-W-We h-heard y-you w-were n-never c-c-coming back!
-I-I-I-I-I'll g-g-g-go, M-M-Mack...
-Whatsamatter, kid, what's botherin' you...?
-Ah-ah-ah-are y-y-y-you g-g-g-going t-t-t-to muh-muh-muh-marry her?
-Marry who?
-C-C-C-C-Candy!
-Candy? Hell no, Billy, she's just a good friend, that's all...
-In ya go...
-M-M-M-Mack?
-Ahhh, Billy...
-Say it again.
-Say... God Bless America!
-God Bless America.
-Goddammit, you sly son-of-a-bitch! Does anybody else know?
-No.
-Shit! This is too much! Chief, I tell you we're gonna bust outta this place an' make it all the way to Canada before they know what bit 'em.
-Ca-na-da...
-Ya like that, Chief, huh?
-Yeah...
-Yeah, well, well, well. 'Bout time the rest of the world got a gander at Big Chief Bromden cuttin' down the boulevard, stopping just long enough for virgins... Oh, man, I tell you, I tell you, you'll have women trippin' you and beating you to the floor...
-Ca-na-da...
-Sock it to 'em, kid!
-Pssst! Hey Rose! There they are!
-In there.
-Wait a minute...
-It's okay, Rose. You can go with him.
-Oh yeah! Well if ya don't mind, I'll decide on my own date!
-Shit, Rose! What's there to decide? There's only four of us.
-Go with him, Rose. Go with him.
-What for?
-She won't give me any more cigarettes!
-That okay. I'll take your marker. How many ya want?
-I second the motion!
-Let's go, for Christsakes...
-Ha! Did ya see that! Hey, Cheswick!
-Yeah, Mack?
-Yeah, Mack?
-Let me get on your shoulders.
-Hey, Cheswick! Wake up!
-Yeah, Mack, what is it?
-I'm leaving. Goodbye!
-Where ya goin', Mac?
-How ya gettin' out, Mac?
-Where's Martini and Scanlon?
-They went that way.
-Charlie, ya can't ever let those goons outta ya sight! Understand!
-They must be up there!
-There they are!
-Yeah, where we going?
-When do you think we'll be going back, Mack?
-It's the questions she asks.
-Which gets you shipped up to Disturbed for a nice little zap job.
-What? What?
-So long, Freddy. Don't take any wooden nickles.
-What?
-Mine, too!
-He's a big flounder. Could weigh two, three hundred. You got to lift him in with a winch.
-Does that mean we have to cut him loose?
-Yeah, Harding, where do you breathe anyway?
-I'll bet a dollar.
-Neither do I...
-Yeah, my feet are cold...
-Christ, they even got my first grade report card here...
-Ya know what, Fred?
-Martini!
-What are you doing?
-Well, say, buddy, is that the usual pro-cedure for those Group Ther'py shindigs? Bunch of chickens at a peckin' party?
-A pecking party?
-It's as simple as that. You've been on our ward six hours and have already simplified the work of Freud, Jung and Maxwell Jones in one grand analogy: it's a pecking party.
-I'm not talking about Fred Yoong or Maxwell Jones, buddy, what I'm talkin' about is that crummy meeting and what that nurse did to you!
-Did to me?
-Miss Ratched is a competent psychiatric nurse, not some, some kind of monster pecking out our eyes!
-Electro-Shock Therapy, my friend. Five cents' worth of electricity and you are out of everybody's hair.
-Tell 'er to go to hell anyway!
-And if you persist in your ways, they can always ship you over to Medical Surgery.
-What for?
-Lobotomy!
-Lobotomy?
-Is that your sense of humor or are you tryin' to say somethin'?
-You boys seem to think you've got a champ in there, huh?
-I don't see you scoring any points, buddy. And you're just the man for the job, right?
-Hell, I couldn't get it up over old hatchet-face if ya paid me!
-What's the use! Hooee! It'd do you birds some good just to get a little exercise lifting your arms to vote!
-A baseball game isn't worth the risk, my friend.
-And how do you propose to accomplish that little feat, my friend?
-With this thing! I'm gonna put this thing right through the window, that's how!
-You mean you're going to try to pick that thing up and shove it through the window?
-You're fuckin' A-right, I am!
-With your own two hands?
-Twenty-five dollars.
-Okay, Harding, you're on.
-Okay, sucker.
-Giving up?
-He can't hear you!
-I know, goddammit! You don't have ta tell me that!
-So why are you talking to him?
-I'm not talkin' to him! I'm talkin' to myself! It helps me think!
-It doesn't help him.
-Ya owe me twenty-five bucks.
-What for?
-I'm busting outta this place.
-What's your plan, Mack?
-Ya deaf! I said pass the ball!
-What are you talking about??? Everybody was covered!!! Everybody was covered!!!
-Time in! Hold it! Time out! I said Harding out!
-I refuse!
-I said out!
-No!
-I'm the coach!
-I just started!
-You can come back later!
-I don't trust you!
-Hey, Harding, wake me in an hour.
-Don't you have any clubs?
-No!
-Let me see your hand!
-No!
-Gimme a cigarette!
-No!
-Why not?
-Miss Ratched. Given all the conditions of that sublime relationship, coupled with the subsequent annihilation of all that I held to be sacred, mentally, physically and emotionally, the only thing that I can speculate on, at this late date, is how I will justify the very existence of my life, with or without my dear wife.
-Big king, too bad...
-Just wait till you hear...
-Hear what?
-McMurphy killed two attendants and escaped...
-When?
-Yesterday...
-Who told you that?
-Yeah, buddy?
-Can you borrow me a dime?
-'Kay, place your bets.
-What's this?
-Bet a nickel!
-Big king... little deuce... another king... a lovely lady... big ten... and a trey... hey, hey, whadaya say? Ya hit or sit, Martini?
-Hit me.
-Hit me!
-Yeah, an' I'm tellin' ya, she's just an icy-hearted over-the-hump gal who never got enough of the old wham-bam to straighten 'er out... Okay, who wants a card?
-You need four houses on every lot of the same color, Martini. Now let's go, for Christsakes.
-Right!
-Psst! Hey, Martini, wake up!
-Yeah, Mac?
-Shhh. Wait a minute. You guys are gonna screw up my plans. So just gone on back to bed like nothin' happened.
-Whadaya doin', there's no one there!
-Gimme the ball!
-Gimme the ball!
-I saw thum! I saw thum!
-I wanna see it...
-I wanna go home!
-Yeah, it's cold!
-My turn.
-Jesus God...
-Gary Blinker's fulla shit!
-He's not!
-Man, there sure is an awful lot of poontang around here.
-Oh, what's that?
-Why, I'll betcha there must be a million albacore and tuna running of the coast right this minute.
-Is that so?
-Yup! Worked right outta Depoe Bay for just about every season since I was able to haul my own weight.
-My, my... Ah, who are you?
-Hell, Doc, I've been everything from a hoopla man with a two-bit carny show to a top mechanic and bull goose catskinner for every gypo loggin' operation in the Northwest till the Army taught me what my natural bent was.
-Oh, what was that?
-Poker!
-I see.
-Yeah, but you know how society persecutes a dedicated man.
-In what way?
-They say I'm a habitual hassler. Like I fight some. Sheeut. They didn't mind so much when I was a dumb logger and got into a hassle. That's a hardworkin' feller blowing off steam, they say. But if you're a gambler, all you have to do is spit slantwise and you're a goddamned criminal.
-I see...
-To tell the truth, ever since I found my natural callin' I done time in so many small-time jails I could write a brochure...
-Yes... Ah, do you know why you're here?
-Well, ya know, Doc... Doesn't it say so there?
-Well, according to the Warden at Pendleton, you were a disturbing influence on others. 'It appears that there is a potential in him for instigating a revolt among the other inmates.' What do you think of that report?
-I don't, Doc...
-Arrested on an assault charge five times...
-That's correct, Doc ...
-The doctor at the prison states: 'Don't overlook the possibility that this man may be faking psychosis to escape the drudgery of the work farm...' What do you say to that?
-Doc, what can I tell ya?
-Ah, it seems you have no other psychiatric history, Mister Murphy?
-No, this is my first trip, Doc.
-Well, you're here for a ninety-day observation period, Mister McMurphy. I'd like you to understand you are here on a court order and we are responsible to the state. So, I'd like your cooperation!
-You bet, Doc!
-Well, I was turnin' this dilemma over in my head, when I happened to hit on that old tub room out there, an' I said to myself, McMurphy, I said, that place would make a great second day room. A sort of game room for the young fellas. Whadaya think, Doc?
-How are you feeling?
-Just fine, Doc... In fact, I think I might've put on a couple of pounds since I got here.
-Good, good, and how are you getting along on the ward?
-Come on, Doc, you know as well as I do what's been comin' down in that loony bin.
-Yes, well, Miss Ratched feels that you're a disturbing influence on the other patients.
-Shoot, Doc, the only one I'm disturbing is that old nurse and her fixed ways. That's all.
-Come on, Doc, you must be kiddin'.
-I'm afraid not.
-Jesus, that old nurse sure wants my ass in a sling, don't she!
-No, Mister McMurphy, it's just that we cannot offer you the guidance and assistance that you would receive at Pendleton.
-Guidance and assistance! That's insane! Doc, ya gotta help me.
-I'm sorry, but I can't keep you here.
-When?
-Candy. Candy, over here. Hey, Doc, time out.
-Time out!
-Time out!
-Pardon me miss, but would you mind turning...
-Stay back! Patients aren't allowed to enter the... Oh, stay back!
-Your medicine, Mister McMurphy.
-What's the horse pill for, honey?
-It's just medication, Mister McMurphy, good for you. Now down it goes...
-Look, miss, I don't like swallowing something without knowing what it is!
-Don't get upset, Mister McMurphy...
-Shhh. Hold it down! I'll take you guys down, but ya gotta come right back up! 'Kay?
-'Kay, Mac!
-Shhh... Remember this is a privilege, so I don't want none of you goons fuckin' up. Kay?
-'Kay, Mac!
-'Kay, let's see... Cheswick first ... then Billy... Martini... Scanlon... Sefelt... Fredrickson... Taber an' the Chief... 'Kay
-'Kay!
-Yeah, buddy?
-Are you a doctor?
-What's troubling ya, buddy?
-I want you to write me a letter to my brother for a hundred dollars to bury me.
-You look pretty healthy to me.
-I'm the next one.
-How do ya know that?
-Because I quit breathing.
-You think it's funny, huh?
-Put your money where your mouth is, Taber.
-You want me to show ya! You want me to show ya how!
-Yeah, yeah, show me. Show me how!
-I'll bet a buck you don't do it!
-Up an' at 'em, Taber.
-What's going on?
-Bullshit. You ain't got no way out!
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah!
-How much ya wanna bet?
-Ten bucks.
-Out. It's the way out. So just keep it in your minds if ya ever wanna make use of it.
-Somebody's coming!
-Yeah, take us back to the dumbwaiter, Mac.
-Yeah, we'll miss breakfast!
-Got a cigarette?
-Hey, how's it look up there, big boy?
-He can't hear you. He's just a deaf and dumb Indian!
-You just come on with that three fifty and Martini will take care of himself... Your dice, Scanlon.
-A dime.
-Scanlon! Hey, Scanlon, wake up!
-Yeah, what's up?
-No!
-What you boys doin' up at this ungodly time o' the night?
-Prayin', brother. Prayin'.
-Well, you boys finish it up an' climb back into your beds. 'Kay?
-I thought I told you boys to go to bed!
-Oh yeah...
-I tell ya, there's an angel of mercy standing out there, Turkle.
-Hallelujah, brother, now get back in bed!
-That angel of mercy, he ain't a she, is he?
-Ah believe ya, brother. Ah believe ya!
-Now, wouldn't you pray for twenty bucks, a bottle booze an' a piece of that angel cake?
-I'll be very glad to show you around, Miss...
-Hey, how ya doin', cutie?
-Okay. How you doing?
-Hey, how ya doin'?
-Fine, thank you. Here, please take these.
-What are they?
-Please follow me.
-You know, I never got your name.
-Miss Itsu. In here, please.
-You comin' in to hold my hand?
-No...
-Okay, Mack! Whoowe, Candy girl, are we in an insane asylum or ain't we?
-He's a patient, Rose...
-Oh, yeah...
-Yeah...
-Hi ya, big boy? How's it goin'? Like it in here?
-Who is he?
-He's in charge.
-Sure, I know Chuck. I know him.
-Sure, she understands what you mean. She's not dumb. Why do you think Rose came to visit us? Rose is very interested in hospitals and hospital facilities. Aren't you, Rose?
-Hi.
-That kind of behavior will get you a P.A. rating, my friend.
-P.A. What the hell is that?
-Hit me!
-Hit, you say? Well well well and with a king up, the boy wants a hit. Whadaya know. So comin' at you and too bad, a little lady for the lad and he's over the wall and down the road, up the hill and dropped his load.
-Yeah!
-Big man!
-Yeah, how much you wanna bet?
-On what?
-Maybe I'll just use that thick skull of yours as a batterin' ram, Sefelt.
-Yes, I see it! I see it!
-There they are!
-I thought I might donate it to the mess hall.
-Yes, sir, it's a mighty nice fall day...
-This way, Mister McMurphy.
-Yes, sir, I sure am gonna enjoy my stay here.
-I'm sure you will.
-Ya know, I ain't never been in an institution of psychology before.
-Of course. Mister McMurphy.
-After you, ma'am.
-Make yourself at home, Mister McMurphy...
-Stand aside, Sam, Nature's callin'.
-Don't know if I can hold it that long, Sam.
-Tha's your problem.
-Who do you like in the opening game, Sam?
-Huh?
-Hey, Sam, bet ya two bucks ya lose.
-Shit, man, tha' ain't even worth considerin'.
-How 'bout twenty?
-Now you talkin'.
-Bet!
-Bet you ass...
-What kind of crap is that???
-Ya fuckin' coon, you're not on the ward now!
-We got your black ass now, Washington, wanna bet another twenty?
-Hey, Billy, stop cryin'. You don't have to cry... You ain't got nothin' to be ashamed of. She ain't gonna tell you mother... stop crying...
-Oh, there you are, Mister Turkle.
-Evenin', ma'am.
-Is everything all right?
-Why, sure, ma'am...
-The lights were flashing on and off, Mister Turkle.
-Jus' cleanin' up, ma'am.
-At this hour?
-What are these men doing up wandering around?
-Ah guess the natives are restless, ma'am...
-You've been drinking on the job again, haven't you, Mister Turkle!
-I want those men put back to bed, Mister Turkle!
-Yes, ma'am...
-And you haven't heard the last of this!
-Whew! Hiya, boys!
-What happened?
-What's that?
-What?
-That!
-Oh, that. That ain't nothin' to be afraid of, ma'am. Just ol Chief Bromden. That's all...
-They're sleeping, Miss. They're sleeping. An' we gotta keep it down so we don't disturb their sleep.
-Are they dangerous when they're awake?
-Smells like piss. Is this real, Candy? Is this really real? I mean we are in an insane asylum, an' I wanna know how we got ourselves into this scene.
-Not exactly, Miss. Not exactly.
-Well, Miss... I would say... I would say, yes. Yes, he's crazy.
-I thought so.
-Is he in an asylum?
-He's dead.
-Oh, I see. He was a very sick man. Very sick.
-That's what I told his mother. And she said I was crazy. Her son ate the whole fucking light bulb and she said I was crazy.
-I don't know anything about that, Miss. I would have to examine you first...
-You ol' fucker!
-Now, Miss. What do you want with twenty zombies when you got a twenty gun salute looking you right in the face.
-Oh, yeah...
-You better believe it, you sweet little thing. You better believe it...
-Don't you sweet talk me you ol' spook, you!
-He is your husband, no?
-Yes, but... He was having an affair.
-She was your sister.
-No, she wasn't my sister.
-Your mother.
-Of course not.
-Your grandmother?
-May I see your boarding pass, please?
-I-- I must've misplaced it.
-Great. Because, like I said, until you find it, we can't let you on the plane.
-You don't understand. The man I'm supposed to marry is on that plane.
-You didn't have that with you before. Prima non l'aveva con se.
-You ask what room he's in, okay?
-Excuse me?
-Mr. Bradley left about a half hour ago. He said his plans had changed unexpectedly. Would you prefer an interior or exterior room?
-He couldn't have checked out-- I was supposed to meet him here.
-Nobody here has any idea which way he went?
-No... it's just very important that I find him, okay?
-Why?
-He said he thinks a woman he works with knows him. Her name's Anna. But she won't be in 'til tomorrow.
-So, what's the story with your friend?
-My friend has lost her fucking mind...
-She's trying to find out where she can rent a loudspeaker.
-What for?
-No, really. What's she doing?
-Really. She thinks he's here. Even though she's never met him. Even though she's never laid eyes on him.
-Were they pen pals?
-No.
-Is he some kind of celebrity or something?
-No.
-There's this poem by Rilke, I don't remember the whole thing, but it's about that. About waiting for that person, and wondering if you'll ever find them. And the last line of it goes, "Who knows? Perhaps the same bird echoed through both of us, yesterday--
---separate, in the evening..."
-My hair's kind of a mess, isn't it?
-But... just to be sure, maybe we ought to shatter each other's unrealistic images of perfection. You know, each of us admit something embarrassing about ourselves.
-What?...
-Oh, right. Dwayne. You're engaged to Dwayne?
-It just happened. I didn't plan it. I was alone. And he was... there. But now everything's changed. I owe it to him to let him know. I need to tell him.
-You're sure...
-Good.
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-Let's find a telephone.
-Don't be afraid. You can tell me.
-You're sure...
-We found each other, didn't we?
-Yes. We did.
-What?
-My name isn't Damon Bradley. I just told you it was Damon Bradley.
-I don't get it. She hasn't seen her since she was a kid, now just because she's dying, all of the sudden she's gotta see her again?
-She's been acting weird lately, though. I shoulda seen it coming. Babbling on and on and on about "communication". Like I don't know how to communicate.
-Let's face it. Sooner or later we all die.
-Who's dying?
-Your great aunt.
-You don't think this is just infatuation, do you?
-Oh no. Do you?
-I'm a liberal!
-No...
-There is one other thing you should know about me.
-Nothing you could say would change the way I feel.
-I'm engaged. I'm supposed to be married in two days.
-And, he's a friend of yours. It's Dwayne.
-Dwayne?
-A very large pig.
-Ask her if she knows where he is?
-No.
-Ask her if she knows how I might reach him? If she has a telephone number?
-...has a prior commitment.
-What's mezzaluna?
-A restaurant. In Piazza Navona.
-I'M NOT PUSHING IT.
-Yeah, but, what if this guy lived a billion, trillion years ago? Like, what if he was a cave man, and now he's dead?
-Yeah, but, what if he doesn't live here? Like, what if he's a cannibal in New Guinea or something?
-We'll KNOW.
-Larry! What are you doing here? Mom sent you.
-Larry, can I borrow your car keys?
-Faith, this guy you think is Mr. Right, he's... not what you think--
-Don't worry, it's a long story, but I know who he is. I know where to find him.
-But, Faith--
-I'll bring it back as soon as I can.
-But Faith--
-You...
-Hi there...
-It was the moth stuff that gave it away, didn't it? I knew that was too much.
-No, you gave a very convincing performance. And you'll be pleased to know that your eight-by-ten glossy is now on display at the local playhouse.
-Congratulations.
-Thanks.
-So, this is what you do? I mean when you're not playing other parts?
-It's an amazing place, don't you think?
-Amazing.
-Smoking or non-smoking?
-Lots of history. For example, did you know, according to legend, this coastline used to harbor Sirens?
-Hm.
-Hello? Is anybody there?
-Dwayne Pinsley? I'm trying to reach Dwayne Pinsley.
-He's not in at the moment. Can I take a message?
-Who's this?
-This is his fiancee. Who's this?
-I'm sure he'll be sorry to hear that. Who should I tell him called?
-My name's
-Damon Bradley...
-WAIT!! Where are you?
-I'm at the airport. Why?
-Uh-- in case Dwayne wants to try to reach you.
-Where are you going?
-I'm on my way to Venice. Why?
-Venice? I love Venice. With the boats, right?...
-That's not the point.
-You said whatever it was you would understand.
-How could you do this to me?
-I'm in love with you.
-You're limping.
-I know I'm limping. I stubbed my toe.
-Are you okay? You want some help?
-NO.
-Why can't you just tell me?
-If it's any of your business, yes.
-Yes?! To be married, I suppose.
-Yes.
-To the foot doctor.
-Because I know who Dwayne is, and he's reliable and stable and wants to marry me.
-He's safe.
-So?! Is there something wrong with loving somebody who's safe?
-Does he love you?
-He wants to marry me, doesn't he?
-You didn't answer my question.
-Why are you asking me this?
-You stubbed your toe, don't you think that's a sign?
-What?
-There must be something I can do, something I can say to make this up to you?... Just tell me what it is, I'll say it. I'll do it. I don't want you to hate me.
-Look, Peter, I don't hate you. But what we had was an illusion. Mutual wishful thinking. We both wanted to believe it for awhile, but it was all founded on a lie.
-So?
-So it wasn't real.
-What about the oasis in the desert? Are you telling me that was a lie?
-Don't you see?.. We're not the ones who are meant to be. You're the man of somebody else's dreams.
-Fine. Okay. Forget me. Leave me out of it. But don't go throwing your life away on somebody you don't love.
-Why not?
-I went back to that restaurant and I spoke with his waiter, just on an off chance, you know, and, anyway-- he knew the name of the guy's hotel. So, I called there, they said he left yesterday. But, apparently he comes here every year, always follows the same route. He always goes from here down the coast to the Le Sirenuse hotel in
-Where's Positano?
-It's in the south. I've still got my rental car. I can get you there by morning...
-Oh no, I don't think that would be a good idea.
-Why?
-The guy at the hotel told me he always wears a gold medallion, and usually has a book or magazine with him.
-Uh, I'd rather not say.
-Tell me.
-I'd really rather not say.
-Please. I need to know.
-Mickey Spillane.
-Mickey Spillane?
-He's out by the pool right now.
-Right now?
-Do you want me to do it?
-Hi, Peter.
-So. You found him.
-Well, it looks like we both lucked out. I just met somebody myself. Somebody my aunt introduced me to.
-Oh. That's nice.
-And she's a knock-out, too.
-Well, good. Good for you.
-Where are you going? Just-- out of curiosity...
-Oh, thanks. Well, have a good time.
-Hey--
-What?
-Nice dress.
-What?...
-What are you doing here?
-You were saying...
-Say, I saw where they had motor boats for rent down in the harbor. Why don't we all go for an evening cruise around the bay?
-Why are you doing this?
-I just wanted to keep an eye on you. The guy's a total stranger, remember?
-So were you.
-Well, what about books? You like Hemingway? You gotta love Hemingway.
-How about music? You like classical?
-Well, how about those old romantic movies with those great stars, huh? Like Audrey Hepburn.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry.
-Yeah. Well, was the least I could do.
-Promise me you won't leave without saying goodbye.
-Hi.
-Hi. Are you... busy?
-No. Are you're leaving?
-It seems like ever since I found out about this guy, this name, I've been kind of crazy. Like I was on drugs or something.
-I know the feeling.
-Yeah... Well, anyway, I also wanted to tell you, I'm not getting married.
-You aren't?
-No. I mean yes, I'm not. I decided to call it off. Well, actually, it was kind of mutual.
-Well. Congratulations.
-Thank you. So, since I have a few more days of vacation left, I was wondering if maybe you'd want to do something sometime. I mean, you know, if you don't have... other plans.
-Yes. I am.
-You can't come to Southern Italy and not see the Blue Grotto.
-I just need to run up and get my bathing suit.
-Is something the matter?
-I'd call that a yes. Do I get a hint?
-You want a hint? I'll give you a hint. You are the lowest, most despicable, most reprehensible form of reptilian swine--
-There's no such thing.
-What?
-Reptilian swine. There's no such thing. Reptiles aren't swine.
-Who cares?! You hired an actor??
-I don't know what you're talking about. Who told you that?
-Alright. The truth is... I thought we had something here.
-I can't believe you did that!
-And I can't believe you are so stubborn and so blind as to let some stranger, some phantom you've never even met destroy it.
-You're the reason I never met him. You knew it was the thing I most wanted in life and you sabotaged it.
-I sabotaged it? You're the one who lost him, remember?
-Well, I might've found him again if I hadn't left Rome to make this pointless trip down here with you.
-As I recall, you were on your way home. And I didn't want you to go so, yes, I told you a little white lie.
-A "little white lie"? A "little white lie"?
-What would you call it?
-Don't you think you're overreacting just a little here? We're talking about love, okay? Let's be rational.
-Rational?! Love is not rational! Are you crazy?
-Yes. I'm crazy. You have driven me crazy. No one in their right mind would go to this much trouble to win over someone as insane as you. Did it ever, even for one second, occur to you how much work it was to set all this up? How many arrangements had to be made? How many players had to be coordinated?
-Gee, I'm flattered. What an incredibly romantic gesture. Cancel the roses, I've decided to lie to her instead.
-Very funny.
-Really?...
-And this is the thanks I get. I did you a favor. You never wanted to marry that joker in the first place.
-That's not the point. And what if I had wanted to?
-Look, I just thought if you finally got rid of this obsession with this name, if you could get it out of your system once and for all, then maybe you'd be able to stop waiting and open your heart to someone real. Granted, ideally, me. I didn't do it to hurt you. I did it for you. I did it for us...
-I was hoping for the real thing.
-You're Damon Bradley?
-Hello.
-Beautiful place...
-Been here long?
-Just since yesterday.
-I was wondering... Do you have dinner plans?
-Tonight?
-Any night.
-Well, not exactly...
-Sure.
-I'll look forward to it.
-Wait.
-Yes?
-Aren't you going to tell me who you are?
-Oh, Faith. My name's Faith.
-Sure.
-You know, I noticed you out at the pool even before we spoke. I could sense the chemistry between us.
-Really?
-Well, to-- new friends.
-Excuse me?
-Nothing. Prices are a little steep here, aren't they?
-What looks good?
-Hmmmm... Well, the scampi sounds good...
-So what do you think?
-Faith, this is my mother.
-Oh, hello.
-So, you say you've been to Italy before?
-So, what are we waiting for?
-What?
-I don't know, I guess I never really thought about it... Is Larry here?
-I don't believe in statistics.
-What about that guy you work with, Mike what's-his-name?
-No. He smokes.
-How about the other one? His friend.
-Just moved in with his girlfriend.
-Scientologist.
-So, you gotta be a little flexible. Look at your brother and me. Larry's not perfect, neither am I. But we work it out. We're not unrealistic in our expectations, and we have each other. I think you've got the Door Number Three Syndrome.
-I don't have an Amana freezer.
-It's a metaphor. It's women who always think there's some unknown out there that's going to be better than what's in front of them. And instead wind up with nothing.
-Metaphorically, I still don't have an Amana freezer.
-Is everything okay?
-Yes. You know all the shrinks on Donahue say that all those love songs about some enchanted evening are just a cruel hoax that feeds people's fantasies.
-But somebody wrote those songs.
-So, what's your point?
-Just that they came out of somebody's experience is all.
-I wish you didn't have to go so early.
-No.
-Is he married?
-No.
-Is he gay?
-I don't know. I don't think so.
-So?...
-What's he do?
-I don't know, Kate.
-You don't have any idea?
-"Thrills"? That's what you're waiting for? You know how long that lasts? Besides, how do you know? Have you ever been out with him?
-No. He's never asked me.
-Why don't you ask him?
-Why should I ask someone out who I don't want to go out with in the first place?
-He begged me to marry him. I didn't even want to marry him.
-Yes you did.
-Come on, it's not so bad.
-Look how big it makes me look. I look like an Alp.
-I think it was sweet of him to pick it out.
-But what?
-Oh, I don't know. I guess it's just not quite the way I always thought it was going to be. You know, like in the movies.
-But one day you wake up and realize you've been had. Of course life isn't like the movies. That's why there are movies.
-Let me tell you something about love. There are no prince charmings, there are no glass slippers. Love is hard work.
-I know. You're right.
-I understand, Kate. What do you think of this garter?
-Kate, is something the matter?
-Larry brought me flowers last night.
-Is that bad?...
-Have you seen him with someone?
-No... I can just tell.
-It's a miracle.
-It's a coincidence.
-It was my New Year's resolution to overcome it.
-But it's July.
-It's still the new year...
-What about your job?
-I have vacation time coming to me.
-You don't have a passport.
-That's where you're wrong. I got one nine years ago. I just never had an opportunity to use it.
-Because you were afraid to fly.
-Would you stop saying that? I need you to do me a really big favor.
-Does Dwayne know about this?
-I can't believe we did this. Do I have to remind you that your wedding is in six days?
-No, I haven't. And you forgot about the fortune teller.
-Thank you so much.
-You're just going to fly to Italy and start combing the streets?
-A foreign land full of millions of Italian men... speaking Italian with Italian accents and those huge brown eyes and that silky olive skin...
-How hard can it be? I'll land there, I'll go to his hotel, I'll introduce myself, and--
-Live happily ever after.
-I keep it in the glove compartment in case of emergencies.
-You okay?
-Now what do we do?
-The book said they have boats that are like taxis... Vaporettos. What's the name of the place we're staying again?
-It's called... the Gritty Palace.
-"Gritty"? Is this gonna be one of those youth hostel dives jammed with backpackers who don't believe in deodorant?
-This is a Lifestyles hotel.
-What?
-"Of the Rich and Famous". Of which we are neither. Are you out of your mind? We can't afford this.
-Are you sure?
-Yes. Cathy Lee Crosby stayed here.
-I can't believe we came all this way and he's gone.
-You gave it your best shot. You tried.
-I'll never meet the man of my dreams.
-Just once more, so you'll be sure to know what to look for.
-What are you doing?
-You can't really blame him for being upset. It was an Armani suit.
-Did I or did I not offer to have it cleaned?
-I just got a dial tone--
-The guy at the desk said he only left about a half hour ago, right?
-So?
-Ah ha!...
-What'd you find?
-A Butterfinger wrapper.
-A rich, possibly fat, slob.
-Maybe there's fingerprints on it?
-We're not looking to arrest the man, Faith, we're trying to locate him.
-We're saved!
-What is it?
-A phone message. Only--
-Only what?
-Your brother?
-Couldn't we just have taken a train?
-I told you a liter was less than a gallon.
-We would've had enough gas to get us there if you hadn't gotten us lost. Besides, a kilometer is less than a mile.
-I'm hungry.
-You know, no offense or anything Kate, but I think I'm starting to see Larry's side of the story.
-What's that supposed to mean?...
-You expecting somebody you know?
-Well, you don't have to get snippy with me.
-So, what exactly is Larry's side of the story, anyway?
-I don't know, Kate. I just said that. I'm sorry. I'm just on edge. I'm afraid we're losing him.
-You think he misses me at all?
-'Course he does.
-That was a long time ago.
-He went out and bought himself men's cologne the other day. Did I tell you that?
-Larry bought himself cologne?
-Anna, I'm Faith. You don't know how happy I am to meet you. You see, I'm trying to find someone, and--
-Her brother.
-What did you say to her?
-I don't know. I just asked her if she knew him and all of the sudden--
-All of the sudden, I'm feeling kind of nervous. God, I hate blind dates. Why couldn't we just have arranged marriages in America?
-I sort of wanted to wait to see if maybe he'd notice me first?
-So what's in a name? I wanna join him. I don't see why we can't join him.
-Well, how come we're always looking for guys for you?
-Because I'm the one who's single.
-I never even got to be single.
-Sure you did.
-Not if you don't count the sixth grade.
-He's heeeeeerrre...
-Oh my God. Where?
-He's sitting in the fourth booth down, on the left hand side, with his back to us. He's wearing a navy jacket. If you turn around, you can see part of his right elbow.
-Is he looking at us?
-Right, right... Okay.. You don't think he's gonna think I'm too aggressive?
-Faith. So far you've trailed the man halfway around the globe. At this point, I don't think another fifteen feet is gonna tip the scales.
-Faith--
-What?
-Well, nobody can say we didn't try.
-Okay, here's what I think. We find out what all the subway stops for that train are-- the subway system's really not that big in Rome, we could narrow it down and--
-And then what, Faith?
-That was really sweet...
-I meant about my idea.
-I think it's time we got some professional help.
-Like a detective.
-No... Like a psychiatrist.
-Yeah. Sociopaths. They're able to figure out what you want them to be and then they act like that.
-But how could he know? He only just met me.
-Hi-iii...
-Hi. Where've you been?
-Sightseeing... What're you doing?
-Packing.
-Why?
-Because I've been kidding myself. Because I realized you were right from the beginning. This whole thing was just a wild goose chase.
-So, you've had a little bad luck.
-A little bad luck?
-Why do they read kids fairy tales in the first place? Children are very impressionable, you know.
-I thought you were the one who didn't think I should've come in the first place.
-I know, but...
-It was a ouija board, remember?
-...and a fortune teller.
-Yeah, well, obviously it wasn't meant to be. I've got forty-eight hours. I can still make it home in time to marry Dwayne and try to forget any of this ever happened.
-What about Peter?...
-Peter? Peter was a mistake. An imposter.
-The last dead end in a long series of dead ends that I am relieved to finally be leaving behind. May as well start packing, our cab's gonna be here in an hour.
-Who said I was going?
-What?
-No. No, you go ahead.
-You sure you'll be okay?
-I'm sure. And Kate, thank you for coming. Thank you for being such a good friend.
-Peter found him?
-Amazing...
-Joan Collins stayed here.
-Whatareyoudoing?!
-What if he doesn't like me?
-It means you're a completely worthless excuse for a human being, and the fates have all conspired to make you miserable.
-My God... you're right.
-Kate. Thank God you're there. I need help.
-Not only is he a momma's boy and a fascist, he says "nuculear" and "irregardless".
-No one's perfect, Kate.
-And he is living proof.
-Maybe I can change him.
-Maybe if I kiss him I'll feel it.
-He's a jerk.
-Yes. He is.
-I spent my whole life waiting for a creep.
-Yup.
-I came all the way to Italy in search of a weasel.
-So...
-Kate is that you?
-Uh huh.
-Well, I realized, if you're getting married, you're gonna be needing the maid of honor, right?
-Actually, no. There's not going to be a wedding.
-Well... I ought to be getting home anyway. The kids'll be back from camp soon. The house is probably a mess.
-And Larry?...
-What about Larry?
-I'm fine. Have you seen Peter?
-He's gone. He told me what happened. He just left for the airport.
-And you are?...
-Kate.
-You are looking for a place to stay, no, Kate?
-No. Well, I don't know. Well, maybe. Later.
-My friend is looking for her brother and she thinks this woman knows where he is. Can you tell us what she's saying?
-She's saying he's a-- a-- porco.
-A porco?
-Oh.
-Giovanni, this is Faith's friend, Peter.
-Oh, hello. I just came by to see if you wanted to join me for a drink, but--
-It's siesta.
-Oh.
-How old are you?
-Giovanni, I want to thank you.
-No, you don't understand. It's been wonderful meeting you. But... I have a husband. I have two kids at camp. I have a life I have to go back to.
-You don't have to go if you don't want to...
-You think I'm just one of those Italian Casanovas. The guys who try to seduce every woman who comes their way. Who prey on unhappily married women. Who lure unsuspecting--
-Giovanni.
-Huh?
-Kate, you're still there? I thought you'd be on your way home by now.
-You miss me?...
-Uh, yeah. Sure. Honey, did you forget the guys are coming over tonight?
-No, why?
-This is the last one before the wedding, right?
-Right.
-And we didn't have to bring another present?
-Not only is it tacky, it's exploitation.
-It's not exploitation. These people wanna sell and I wanna buy. How are golf clubs exploitation? She takes one night class and suddenly she's a socialist.
-Sociologist. And because. Pawn shops are just like prostitutes, farm auctions and coal miners. They're all for sale, but none of 'em would be if they weren't desperate for the money.
-We're all desperate for the money, doll. That's what made this country great. Back me up on this Candy, am I right?
-Don't call me doll, Larry. I hate it when you call me doll.
-You used to love it when I called you doll.
-Damon Bradley? That's why you're here?
-What? You know him?
-It was just a joke. I was pushing the arrow. I wanted to get to the next question. I wanted to find out who was gonna win the Series.
-Are you saying you just made the whole thing up? The guy never even existed?
-He existed. He was some kid I knew from Little League. He was a real jerk. You say he's a friend of Dwayne's?
-I thought she'd get a kick out of it.
-It was a harmless little prank. Who in the world would've thought she'd spend her life waiting for this guy?
-Larry, you've got to tell her.
-I came after the woman I love.
-Yeah--
-She what?!
-She said she knew where to find him, and then she grabbed my car keys, and--
-And you didn't tell her?
-I have to talk to her.
-She's not here.
-Where is she?
-She went out to check into skywriting. I can't believe you lied. Is this a genetic thing, men will say anything just to get laid?
-It was an emergency. I only lied that night because it was the only way I knew to stop her. I knew if I didn't, I'd never see her again.
-Good strategy.
-And then I saw her. And all I know is, when I looked in her eyes I saw something... light. And life and passion and yearning. And something else I can't even put my finger on, something I'd never seen before--
-Mania.
-And if that's not destiny, I don't know what is.
-I mean, realistically, what are the odds that this is a terrific guy?
-That's the guy you've been waiting for all these years?
-Oh, it's you. It's only Peter.
-Thanks.
-Right now?
-He just got a call from "Mr. Upstairs." Something's gone wrong. He's plenty hot.
-I'm gonna take her home first.
-I'd get over there, Terry. I'll take the little lady home.
-I'll come over when I'm ready.
-And don't be walking off with any of that. You know how the boss feels about individual pilferage.
-Talk louder. I can't hear you.
-If you kept your ears wide open instead of your mouth—
-If I talk too loud it's the fault of the nuns.
-And what in blazes have the nuns got to do with it?
-You mean to sit there and tell me that your local takes in sixty-five thousand, five hundred dollars every year and keeps no financial records?
-Sure we keep records!
-Well, where are they?
-We was robbed last night and we can't find no books.
-Doesn't it seem odd to you that five different waterfront locals were broken into last night and the only articles removed were financial records?
-What do you mean, odd? We was robbed like I told you.
-What gives with our boy tonight, Charley? He ain't himself.
-The Joey Doyle thing. You know how he is. Things like that— he exaggerates them. Too much Marquis of Queensbury. It softens 'em up.
-When he got up and chased them they thought it was a dead man coming after them.
-I know what's eatin' you, kid. But I got two thousand dues-payin' members in my local— that's seventy-two thousand a year legitimate and when each one of 'em puts in a couple of bucks a day to make sure they work steady— well, you figure it out. And that's just for openers. We got the fattest piers in the fattest harbor in the world.
-Why shouldn't we? If we c'n get it we're entitled to it.
-We ain't robbin' pennies from beggars. We cuttin' ourselves in for five-six million a year just on our half a dozen piers— a drop in the bucket compared to the traffic in the harbor. But a mighty sweet little drop, eh, Charley?
-It'll do.
-I make it twentysix twenty-three. You're fifty short, Skins.
-You got a real friend here, kid. Don't forget it.
-Drink up, Charley. We're ahead of you.
-I'm not thirsty.
-After what we been hearing about your brother, I thought your throat'd be kind of dry.
-So they're walking along and smiling. That doesn't mean he's going to talk. There's no evidence until he gives public testimony.
-Thanks for the legal advice, Charley. That's what we always kept you around for. Now how do we keep him from giving this testimony? Isn't that the— er— as you put it— main order of business?
-This girl and the Father got their hooks in him so deep he doesn't know which end is up anymore.
-I ain't interested in his mental condition. All I want to know is, is he D 'n D or is he a canary?
-I wish I knew.
-So do I, Charley. For your sake.
-What do you want me to do, Johnny?
-Very simple. Just bring him to... that place we been using. Mac, you take care of the details. Call Gerry G. in if you think you need him.
-Gerry G!! You don't want to do that, Johnny! Sure the boy's outa line, but he's just a confused kid.
-Confused kid? First he crosses me in public and gets away with it and then the next joker, and pretty soon I'm just another fellow down here.
-Johnny, I can't do that. I can't do that, Johnny.
-Then don't.
-But my own kid bro—
-You said they was only going to talk to him.
-That was the idea.
-I thought they'd talk to him. Try to get him to dummy up.
-Maybe he gave them an argument.
-I figured the worst they'd do is work him over a little.
-Come on, kid. I'll buy you a drink.
-Working hard?
-You don't mind working once in a while to justify this lofty position?
-I just fnished work. I counted the bags.
-We got a little extra detail for you. The local priest and this Doyle girl are getting up a meeting in the church. We'd like a rundown on it. You know, names and numbers of all the players. You're nominated.
-Why me, Charley? I'd feel funny going in there.
-Johnny does you favors, kid. You got to do a little one for him once in a while.
-But going in that church, I'd be stooling for you, Charley. You make a pigeon out of me.
-The complete works of Timothy J. Nolan.
-Gee, Charley, I'm sure glad you stopped by for me. I needed to talk to you. What's it they say about blood, it's—
-River Street? I thought we was going to the Garden.
-I've got to cover a bet there on the way over. Anyway, it gives us a chance to talk.
-Nothing ever stops you from talking, Charley.
-The grapevine says you picked up a subpoena.
-That's right... .
-Of course, the boys know you too well to mark you down for a cheese-eater.
-Mm—hmm.
-You know, the boys are getting rather interested in your future.
-Mm—hmmm.
-They feel you've been sort of left out of things, Terry. They think it's time you had a few little things going for you on the docks.
-A steady job and a few bucks extra, that's all I wanted.
-Sure, that's all right when you're a kid, but you'll be pushing thirty pretty soon, slugger. It's time you got some ambition.
-I always figured I'd live longer without it.
-There's a slot for a boss loader on the new pier we're opening up.
-Boss loader!
-Ten cents a hundred pounds on everything that moves in and out. And you don't have to lift a finger. It'll be three-four hundred a week just for openers.
-And for all that dough I don't do nothin'?
-Absolutely nothing. You do nothing and you say nothing. You understand, don't you, kid?
-Yeah— yeah— I guess I do— but there's a lot more to this whole thing than I thought, Charley.
-You don't mean you're thinking of testifying against—
-I don't know— I don't know! I tell you I ain't made up my mind yet. That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
-Listen, Terry, these piers we handle through the locals— you know what they're worth to us?
-I know. I know.
-Well, then, you know Cousin Johnny isn't going to jeopardize a setup like that for one rubber-lipped—
-Don't say that!
-—ex-tanker who's walking on his heels— ?
-Don't say that!
-What the hell!!!
-I could have been better!
-I tell you, Charley, I haven't made up my mind!
-Make up your mind, kid, I beg you, before we get to four thirty-seven River... .
-Take the boss loading, kid. For God's sake. I don't want to hurt you.
-Charley... . Charley... . Wow... .
-Wow... .
-What do you weigh these days, slugger?
-...eight-seven, eighty-eight. What's it to you?
-Gee, when you tipped one seventy-five you were beautiful. You should've been another Billy Conn. That skunk I got to manage you brought you along too fast.
-It wasn't him! It was you, Charley. You and Johnny. Like the night the two of youse come in the dressing room and says, "Kid, this ain't your night— we're going for the price on Wilson." It ain't my night. I'd of taken Wilson apart that night! I was ready— remember the early rounds throwing them combinations. So what happens— This bum Wilson he
-I always had a bet down for you. You saw some money.
-See! You don't understand!
-I tried to keep you in good with Johnny.
-It was you, Charley... .
-Time and faith... . My brother's dead and you stand there talking drivel about time and faith.
-Why Edie, I—
-How could anyone do this to Joey. The best in the neighborhood... . everybody said it, not only me. Who'd want to harm Joey? Tell me— who? -- who?
-I wish I knew, Edie, But—
-Don't turn away! Look at it! You're in this too— don't you see, don't you see? You're in this too, Father.
-Edie, I do what I can. I'm in the church when you need me.
-Father Barry.
-Hello, Edie.
-I'm afraid I spoke out of turn last night.
-What happened? What happened?
-Terry...?
-They're waiting for him to walk in.
-Oh, I thought you was gonna go to work— with all them muscles.
-Give it to me— my Pop's job—
-What makes him so special?
-None of your business.
-I think we're O.K.
-Thanks. Steel pipes and baseball bats.
-They play pretty rough.
-Which side are you with?
-I'm with Terry.
-I'll get home all right now.
-Everybody loved Joey. From the little kids to the old rummies. Did you know him very well?
-Everybody knew him. He got around.
-What did that man mean when he said you were... .?
-Aah, he's a bottlebaby, he talks to himself, the joke of the neighborhood.
-You know how the Sisters are.
-You training to be a nun or something?
-It's a regular college. It's just run by the nuns. The Sisters of St. Anne.
-And you spend all your time just learning stuff, huh?
-I want to be a teacher.
-A teacher! Dong!!! You know I admire brains. Take my brother Charley. He's very brainy. Very.
-It isn't brains. It's how you use them.
-Yeah. Yeah. I get your thought. You know I seen you lots of times before. Parochial school on Pulaski Street? Seven, eight years ago? Your hair come down in—
-In braids? That's right.
-Looked like two pieces of rope. And your teeth were—
-I know. I thought I'd never get those braces off.
-Man, you were a mess!
-I can get home all right from here—
-The thought I'm tryin' to get over is you grew up beauteeful. Remember me?
-The moment I saw you.
-Some people got faces that stick in your mind.
-I remember you were in trouble all the time.
-Now you got me! It's a wonder I wasn't punchy by the time I was twelve. The rulers those Sisters used to whack me with! They thought they could beat an education into me—I foxed 'em.
-Maybe they just didn't know how to handle you.
-How would you've done it?
-What's that?
-Pardon me while I reach for my beads.
-What?
-What-what? Where you been the last four five years? Outer space?
-When Mother died Pop sent me out to school in the country. He was afraid with no one home I'd— get into bad company.
-Boy, they sure fly nice, don't they?
-Do you like pigeons?
-I'd better go in.
-I only live up there and across the roof.
-Thanks anyway.
-Listen, Edie, am I going to see you again?
-What for?
-I don't know.
-I changed my mind. I feel real mean tonight.
-The Golden Warriors.
-Here they come! The champion flock of the neighborhood.
-You don't mind yourself at all, do you. Joey used to race pigeons.
-He had a few birds. I got up and fed 'em this morning.
-That was nice of you.
-I like pigeons. You send a bird five hundred miles away he won't stop for food or water until he's back in his own coop.
-I wouldn't have thought you'd be so interested —in pigeons.
-I go for this stuff. You know this city's full of hawks? There must be twenty thousand of 'em. They perch on top of the big hotels and swoop down on the pigeons in the park.
-The things that go on.
-How do you like that one?
-If another fella tries to take that perch away from him, he lets him have it.
-Even pigeons aren't peaceful.
-Listen, you like beer?
-I don't know.
-Want to go out and have one with me?
-In a saloon?
-Likewise. And draw two for chasers. Now you're beginning to live.
-Wham... .
-How do you like it?
-It's quite— –nice.
-How about another one?
-No thanks... .
-Were you really a prize fighter?
-I went pretty good for a while, didn't I, Al? But— I didn't stay in shape— and— —I had to take a few dives.
-A dive? You mean, into the water?
-Now what are you doing?
-Describing you. A square from out there. I mean you're nowhere. Miss Four Corners.
-What made you want to be a fighter?
-I had to scrap all my life. Figured I might as well get paid for it. When I was a kid my old man got killed—never mind how. Charley and I was put in a place—they called it a Children's Home. Some home! I run away and peddled papers, fought in club smokers and— But what am I runnin' off at the mouth for?
-Shouldn't we care about everybody?
-What a fruitcake you are!
-Isn't everybody part of everybody else?
-Gee, thoughts! Alla time thoughts! You really believe that drool?
-Terry!
-Want to hear my philosophy? Do it to him before he does it to you.
-Our Lord said just the opposite.
-I'm not lookin' to get crucified. I'm lookin' to stay in one piece.
-I never met such a person. Not a spark of romance or sentiment or— or human kindness in your whole body.
-What do they do for you, except get in your way?
-And when things get in your way— or people —you just knock them aside— get rid of Them— is that your idea?
-Listen— get this straight— don't look at me when you say them things. It wasn't my fault what happened to your brother. Fixing Joey wasn't my idea... .
-Why, Terry, who said it was?
-Well, nobody, I guess. But that Father Barry, I didn't like the way he kept lookin' at me.
-He was looking at everybody the same way. Asking the same question.
-Yeah, yeah... . This Father Barry, what's his racket?
-His— racket?
-You've been off in daisyland, honey. Everybody's got a racket.
-You don't believe in anything, do you?
-Edie, down here it's every man for himself. It's keepin' alive! It's standin' in with the right people so you can keep a little loose change jinglin' in your pocket.
-And if you don't?
-If you don't Keep your neck in and your nose clean and You'll never have no trouble down here.
-Like Joey? Are you afraid to mention his name?
-I— I'd like to, Edie, but— —there's nothin' I can do. Edie feels subdued, ashamed at breaking down. She rises, and in a low voice says—
-All right, all right.. I shouldn't 've asked you.
-You haven't finished your beer.
-I don't want it. But why don't you stay and finish your drink.
-You're not sore at me?
-What for?
-What are you crying for?
-I— I never knew a girl like you, Edie. I always knew the kind you just grab 'em And— I never knew a girl like you, Edie.
-Edie, listen, stay out of this mess. Quit tryin' to ask things about Joey. It ain't safe for you.
-Why worry about me? You're the one who says only look out for yourself.
-Okay, get in hot water. But don't come hollerin' to me when you get burned.
-Why should I come hollering to you at all?
-Because... because... Listen Edie, don't get sore now— but I think we're getting in love with each other.
-I can't let myself fall in love with you.
-What are you going to do?
-I won't eat cheese for no cops, that's for sure.
-Edie, your old man's right, go back to that school out in daisyland. You're driving yourself nuts— you're driving me nuts— stop worrying about the truth— worry about yourself.
-Look out for number one. Always number one. I should've known you wouldn't tell me. Pop said Johnny Friendly used to own you. I think he still owns you. No wonder everybody calls you a bum.
-It's true.
-I'm tryin' to keep you from being hurt— What more do you want?
-Edie!
-I— I brought this for you, Terry. It was Joey's. Yours is coming out at the elbows.
-I don't rate it.
-Pigeons... .
-Edie— I— I— never said this to a girl before, I never knew a girl worth trying to say it for, but you— you're... .
-Edie... Edie... ..
-Terry, what's wrong?
-I've been sittin' in the church.
-You?
-Yeah, yeah, it's up to me, it's up to me— he says it's up to me.
-Who says?
-Terry— what's happening to you?
-I just told the Father.
-Told him what?
-What I did to Joey.
-You... .
-What I did to Joey.
-Don't tell me— don't tell me!
-I had to, Edie. I had to see you.
-Lucky Pop isn't home, he'd kill you.
-You think I stink, don't you? You think I stink for what I told you?
-I don't want to talk about it. I want you to go.
-Edie, listen to me! I want you to believe me. I want to be with you.
-How can you be with Charley and Johnny Friendly and still be with me? Either way it's a lie. It's like there were two different people inside of you. You've got to be one or the other.
-I don't want to hurt Charley— I don't want to hurt you...
-It's you who's being hurt. By keeping it inside you, like a poison. Sooner or later it's got to come out.
-I know what you want me to do!
-I don't want you to do anything. Let your conscience tell you what to do.
-That— —word again! Why do you keep saying conscience, conscience... .
-I never mentioned the word before. In his agony he grips a glass standing on the night table.
-My hand.
-It's just a scratch. You won't die. She turns away from him.
-Edie...
-Get away from me.
-Edie, I need you to love me. Tell me you love me.
-I didn't say I didn't love you. I said stay away from me.
-Terry, I'm frightened. More and more frightened.
-Charley.
-I'll take it out of their skulls.
-I don't want to see you killed. I want to live with you. Live with you. Any place it's safe to walk the streets without... .
-Terry, no, no... .
-Terry, you're bleeding.
-Do what I told you. Take care of Charley.
-Terry, for God's sake.
-Get out of my way.
-Edie.
-I thought you might want some hot coffee.
-Thanks just the same.
-Well, it's over.
-But I feel like— My friends won't talk to me.
-Jimmy...
-He's going to have to grow up too.
-My pigeons... .
-Terry, you better stay in for a while. I'll come and cook your meals. Be sure you keep the door locked.
-Every one of 'em... .
-You heard what Johnny said. No part of the Waterfront'll be safe for you now. Maybe inland— the Middle West somewhere— a job on a farm... .
-Then go ahead— go ahead! Go down to the shape-up and get yourself killed, you stupid, pigheaded, son of a— What are you trying to prove? With a decisive gesture Terry takes the hook and sticks it through his belt. Then he goes to the wall and lifts Joey's windbreaker from the nail on which it has been hanging. He puts the windbreaker on
-Am I on my feet...?
-You're all packed. And here's your bus ticket. You're on your way back to St. Anne's.
-Pop, I'm not ready to go back yet.
-Edie, for years we pushed quarters into a cookie jar, to keep you up there with the Sisters, and to keep you from things like I just seen out the window. My own daughter arm-in-arm with Terry Malloy. You know who Terry Malloy is?
-Who is he, Pop?
-Who is he! Edie, you're so softhearted and soft-headed you wouldn't recognize the devil if he had you by the throat. You know who this Terry Malloy is? The kid brother of Charlie the Gent, Johnny Friendly's right hand, a butcher in a camel hair coat.
-Are you trying to tell me Terry is too?
-I'm not trying to tell you he's Little Lord Fauntleroy.
-He tries to act tough, but there's a look in his eyes that... .
-A look in his eyes! Hold your hats, brother, here we go again. You think he's one of those cases you're always draggin' in and feelin' sorry for. Like the litter of kittens you had—the only one she wants to keep has six toes and it's cockeyed to boot. Look at him. The bum! And the crush you had on that little Abyssinian... .
-He wasn't Abyssinian, Pop, Assyrian... .
-Six-toed cats. Assyrians. Abyssinians. It's the same difference. Well don't think this Terry Malloy is any six-toed cockeyed Assyrian. He's a bum. Charley and Johnny Friendly owned him when he was a fighter and when they ring the bell he still goes into action.
-He wanted to see me again.
-You think we kept you out in Tarrytown just to have you go walkin' with a corner saloon hoodlum like Terry Malloy? Now get back to Tarrytown, before I put a strap to you.
-And learn about charity and justice and all the other things people would rather talk about than practice? Pop goes up to her and holds out his two arms, his right one closer to Edie; he trembles with emotion.
-Pop, don't think I'm not feeling grateful for all you've done to get me an education and shelter me from this. But now my eyes are open. I see things I know are so wrong how can I go back and keep my mind on things that are only in books and that people aren't living? I'm staying, Pop. And I'm going to keep
-You are like—
-Where you goin'?
-What's the matter? I've got something That's chokin' me. I've gotta get it out.
-Someone else c'n take your confession.
-But you're the one I want to tell— what you said over Nolan— about keepin' silent when you know the score— I'm guilty— you hear me? I'm guilty... .
-I don't want to hear it in there.
-I don't get it!
-Tell it to me in there and my lips are sealed. But if I dig it out myself I can use it where it'll do the most good.
-But you've got to listen to me.
-—It started as a favor— for my brother— you know they'd ask me things and it's hard to say no— a favor— Who am I kiddin'? They call it a favor but it's do it or else. And this time the favor turned out to be helping them knock off Joey. I just thought they'd lean on him a little but— Last night with
-What are you going to do?
-About Edie?
-Edie. The Commission. Your subpoena. I know you got a subpoena.
-It's like carrying a monkey around on your back.
-A question of who rides who.
-If I spill, my life won't be worth a nickel.
-How much is your soul worth if you don't?
-But it's my own brother they're askin' me to finger— and Johnny Friendly. His mother and my mother was first cousins. When I was this high he took me to the ball games... .
-Ball games! Don't break my heart! I wouldn't care if he gave you a life pass to the Polo Grounds. So you got a brother. Well, let me tell you something you got some other brothers— and they're all getting the short end while your cousin Johnny gets mustard on his face at the Polo Grounds. If I was you— — Listen, I'm not
-Conscience... . I didn't even know I had one until I met you and Edie... this conscience stuff can drive you nuts.
-Good luck.
-I want to see you, Terry.
-You got eyes. I'm right in front of you.
-Now don't give me a hard time.
-What do you want from me, Father.
-Your gun.
-Mind your own business, Father.
-This is my business.
-Why don't you go and chase yourself?
-Give me that gun.
-You go to hell.
-What did you say?
-Take your hands off me. What you call me?
-...walk?
-You can!
-Who asked him here?
-Now listen, if you know who the pistols are, if you see them on the dock every day, are you going to keep still until they cut you down one by one? Are you? Are you? How about you, Nolan?
-Father, one thing you got to understand. On the dock we've always been D 'n D.
-D 'n D?
-You all right, Nolan?
-Yeah, considerin' they was usin' my head for a baseball!
-Nice fellows.
-Those blood suckers. How I'd love to fix those babies but—
-You still call it ratting?
-Are you on the level, Father?
-What do you think?
-If I stick my neck out, and they chopped it off, would that be the end of it? Or are you ready to go all the way?
-I'll go down the line, Kayo, believe me.
-Baseball bats— that's just for openers. They'll put the muscle on you, turned-around collar or no turned-around collar.
-And I still say you stand up and I'll stand up with you.
-Down to the wire?
-So help me God!
-You're Terry Malloy, aren't you?
-What about it?
-I thought I recognized you. Saw you fight in St. Nick's a couple of years ago.
-O.K. O.K. Without the bird seed. What do you want?
-Waterfront— Crime— Commission— ? What's that?
-We're getting ready to hold public hearings on waterfront crime and underworld infiltration of longshore unions.
-Never will be much too soon.
-You're being served with a subpoena, Mr. Malloy.
-What?
-Be at the State House, Courtroom Nine, at ten o'clock tomorrow.
-I told you I don't know nothin' and I ain't saying nothin'.
-You can bring a lawyer if you wish. And you're privileged under the Constitution to protect yourself against questions that might implicate you in any crimes.
-You looking for me?
-I guess it's pretty tough work at that.
-Didn't I see you fight in the Garden one night three or four years ago? With a fellow called Wilson?
-Wilson— yeah— yeah— I fought Wilson.
-I thought you were going to take him that night but...
-You want to know something— I would have taken Wilson—
-I think you could have.
-If I licked him I would have had the title shot instead of him— boy, I was ready that night.
-Yeah. Johnny Friendly and my brother had other ideas.
-Such as what?
-Listen, this ain't for publication.
-I'm just resting my feet.
-Remember the first round how I had him against the ropes, and—
-I'll never forget it. I thought it was all over.
-Yeah. My own blood— and they sell me out for a lousy bet— I had it in me to hit the top and— Boy, if I wanted to, the things I could tell you about them guys—
-Well, I better get going. Hit those stairs again. Was that a looping right or an uppercut the first time you caught him?
-Looping right! I never swung wild. I was strictly a short puncher— hooks— over 'n under— — whop-whop!
-Really?
-Where you going? I'll walk along with you.
-Condolences. How you fixed for cabbage this mornin'?
-Some chance at ten percent a week! And if he don't borrow, he don't work.
-You'll work.
-I ought to belt you one, J.P.
-Raise a hand to me and... .
-... .and you'll tell Johnny Friendly.
-You're doin' lovely, Terry, very lovely.
-What's the matter wit' you, success gone to ya head?
-I told you lay off.
-How do you like them jokers? Taking me for a pigeon.
-Didn't you recognize him, dopey. That's Old Man Doyle.
-—I was gonna feed 'em, Terry.
-'s all right, kid. I took care of 'em myself this morning.
-Boy, you must've been up early.
-I wonder how long she's goin' to hang around, huh, Terry?
-She's a he. His name is Swifty.
-Better.
-Hey, Terry, guess who's here... that joker from the Commission... .
-Looking for me?
-He's got his nerve, gum-shoeing around here after what you told him.
-Jimmy, suppose I knew something, say a mug somebody put on somebody... . You think I should turn him in?
-A cheese-eater! You're kidding!
-Yeah, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You don't think I should turn him in... .
-You was a Golden Warrior.
-Yeah— us Golden Warriors. You're a good kid, Jimmy, a good tough kid. We stick together, huh, kid?
-You was our first Supreme Commander, Terry. Keep out of sight and I'll tell him you're out.
-Is Johnny in?
-No.
-Give me a double.
-Take it easy now, Terry.
-What's wrong with your shoulder?
-Hit me again.
-No advice. Just whiskey.
-You ought to go home and take care of that—
-Terry? What do you want?
-Yeah? Must be Danny-boy. I lost him in the last race.
-He followed my birds into their coop. Here, you want him?
-Well I got to watch myself these days. Know what I mean?
-I'll bring him up to your loft.
-Hey, Skins— --get away with that sheet metal all right?
-Easy, that new checker faked the receipt. Here it is, boss.
-Stow the receipt. I'll take the cash.
-Forty-five bills.
-I— I musta counted wrong, boss, I—
-H'ya, slugger, how they hangin'?
-So-so, Johnny.
-Count this.
-Aw, you know I don't like to count, Johnny.
-Shut up. I like the kid. Remember the night he took Farella at St. Nick's, Charley. We won a bundle. Real tough. A big try.
-Not a dent. Perfect
-My favorite little cousin.
-Thirty-six— sev— aah I lost the count.
-I know, Johnny, I know... .
-—Do you?
-You come from Green Point? Go back to Green Point. You don't work here no more. Here, kid, here's half a bill. Go get your load on.
-Naw, thanks, Johnny, I don't want it, I—
-Go on— a little present from your Uncle Johnny. And Mac, tomorra mornin' when you shape the men put Terry in the loft. Number one. Every day. Nice easy work. Check in and goof off on the coffee bags. O.K.?
-I— I was just on my way up, Johnny.
-It must have been once too often. I think your brains come apart. What you got up there, Chinese bells?
-Aw, Johnny... .
-I thought you were gonna keep an eye on that church meeting.
-Nothing happened, Johnny.
-Nothing happened, he says. Some operator you got yourself there, Charley. One more like him and we'll all be wearing striped pajamas.
-It was a big nothing! The Father did all the talking.
-Oh, he did. Half an hour later a certain Timothy J. Nolan went into secret session with the Commission and he did all the talking.
-You mean Kayo Nolan, the old timer? He doesn't know much.
-He don't, huh? Well, he knows thirty-nine pages worth of our operation.
-How'd you get that.
-Guts! A crummy pigeon who's looking to get his neck wrung! You should have You should have known better than to trust this punched out brother of yours. He was all right hanging around for laughs. But this is business. I don't like goofoffs messing in our business.
-You want to know the trouble with you? You think it makes you a big man if you can give the answers.
-Listen, Johnny—
-Go on— beat it. Don't push your luck.
-You want to know somethin'—?
-You want to know something? Take the heater away and you're nothin'— take the good goods away, and the kickback and the shakedown cabbage away and the pistoleros— —away and you're a great big hunk of nothing— Your guts is all in your wallet and your trigger finger!
-Go on talkin'. You're talkin' yourself right into the river. Go on, go on... .
-I'm glad what I done today, see? You give it to Joey, you give it to Nolan, you give it to Charley who was one of your own. You thought you was God Almighty instead of a cheap— conniving—good-for-nothing bum! So I'm glad what I done— you hear me? —glad what I done!
-You ratted on us, Terry.
-From where you stand, maybe. But I'm standing over here now. I was rattin' on myself all them years and didn't know it, helpin' punks like you against people like Pop and Nolan an'... .
-You got some nerve.
-You know what I mean. Leave her alone.
-I was only talkin' to her.
-She's off limits for bums like you. Leave her alone.
-I can look at her, can't I? It's a free country.
-Tippi-tippi-tim, tippi-tim, Tippi-tippi-tan, tippi-tan... Gotta dime for a crippled-up docker?
-Go on, beat it!
-A dime, Terry, a dime for a cup of coffee?
-Don't give me that coffee, you rummy. Now blow!
-A dime. One thin dime for a cup of coffee.
-Coffee, that's a laugh. His belly is used to nothing but rotgut whiskey.
-Yeah, yeah— Here's half a buck, go have yourself a ball.
-I can't believe it— a small fortune. You can't buy me— you're still a bum! 'Bye, Edie. Lord have mercy on Joey.
-A banana boat. It would be bananas. One of these days me ship's comin' in from Ireland, God love 'er, loaded to the gunnels with sweet Irish whiskey!
-You see, Kayo, the good Lord watches over us after all.
-You think one bottle's enough for all them toasts?
-I was afraid one bottle might get lonely by itself. Now you see the advantage of a little man in a big coat.
-Definitely! Nolan, my boy, you're a walkin' distillery.
-The brother of Charley the Gent. They'll help us get to the bottom of the river.
-Keep Charley out of this.
-You don't think he'd be— helpful?
-Go ask him, why don't you ? Ask him yourself.
-Maybe I will— one of these days.
-Listen— Nolan—
-What are you down here for— to see we don't make off with any of Mister Friendly's precious cargo?
-Leave her alone, you fiend!
-Fiend is it! You will not be so fortunate. Your existence will cease within moments. No one wishes to see a man dance... And you, my dear, will entertain for centuries to come.
-If I could get my hands on you...
-..Oh, You could do nothing! I can save you much pain.
-Leave her alone, I tell you!
-We sure picked the wrong night to find a cemetery. Let's turn back.
-No. It's on a night like this when the best ideas come to mind.
-But does it have to be in a cemetery?
-You wouldn't understand. Seeing a cemetery on a night like this can stir in the mind the best ideas for a good horror story.
-But there're so many wonderful things to write about, Bob.
-Sure there are--and I've tried them all. Plays, love stories, westerns, dog stories. Huh, now there was a good one, that dog story all about--
-But horror stories! Why all the time horror stories?
-Your puritan upbringing holds you back from my monsters, but it certainly doesn't hurt your art of kissing.
-That's life. My kisses are alive.
-All of my books are based on fact, or legend. Thats perhaps why they're more interesting and sell in the top spots.
-Well, fact or not, I don't see how we're going to find an ancient cemetery in these mountains tonight. I can't see a thing! Let's turn back.
-I'm getting the jitters! Let's turn back!
-Well we certainly can't stay here. C'mon.
-Where?
-In there.
-It frightens me.
-Silly, there's nothing in there to be afraid of.
-Then..then what's that music?
-That's what I want to find out. We have to get help.
-What help can we possibly find in the cemetery at this time of night?
-Something's making that music.
-I'm not sure I care to find out what it is.
-All right. Don't worry, I'll be right beside you.
-What help will that do if something in there isn't dead?
-Not dead? In a cemetery?
-I can't imagine anything dead playing that music.
-Could it be some kind of college initiation?
-It's an initiation all right, but not of a college as you and I know them. Nothing alive looks like that!
-Can't we get out of here?
-I'm not sure...
-What do you mean?
-Look!
-I'm so frightened.
-You've got a right to be. We're trapped by a bunch of fiends.
-Those creatures..!
-Don't let them hear you.
-What can we do?
-Easy Shirley, Easy! Panic won't do us any good! Let me think. We've got to stall for time.
-I'm afraid I'll faint.
-The ropes are coming loose.
-Be careful!
-I am--It's our only chance.
-Nothing is worth your life.
-My guess is if we don't take the chance pretty soon, we're not going to have much life left anyway.
-I'm frightened. I'm so frightened.
-Hold on just a little longer, Shirley.
-Be careful, oh please be careful. We'll never get out of here alive, I know it. I just feel it.
-You do?
-Yes I feel it in my bones.
-You're talking nonsense.
-Oh, no I'm not. These heathens probably have an open grave for us.
-They wouldn't dare put us in the same grave-- <b>or would they?</b>
-I should hope not. I hate you!
-That sudden?
-Yes, that sudden. If it weren't for you we wouldn't be hunting for an old cemetery on a night like this. It's all your fault.
-I've got the ropes loose now. I've got my hands free. Be careful--Don't change your expression too much. They must not catch on.
-What can we do against them?
-I don't know, yet. We'll just have to watch our chance. When it comes I'll know what to do--I hope I'll know what to do.
-I still don't know what ever made me go steady with a crackpot writer like you.
-All right. Put it on heavy.
-My old boyfriend Tommy would never have gotten me in a mess like this. At least <i>he's</i> got brains.
-<i>Him!</i> I'll bet he sleeps with all the lights on.
-I love you Bob. I really do. Forgive me?
-There's nothing to forgive. It was all a dream.
-You love me then?
-But they are not yet one of us.
-A situation easily remedied.
-...And what is this?
-A symbol, Master.
-What kind of symbol?
-She came to us on the Day of the Dead.
-El Dia De Los Muertos...A celebration in her country.
-She was?
-As I said, a worshipper of snakes, and of smoke, and flames.
-Oh, yes, a religion of sorts.
-She pleases me. Permit her to live in the World of the Snakes.
-Now, I will talk...to The Wolf Man...and The Mummy.
-Yes, yes yes I know all that.
-At the first sight of the morning sun's rays, we must be gone.
-I suppose most of the others will have to wait for their judgement until after the next full moon.
-It would seem so, Master
-She is to be <b>mine!</b> It is so spoken!
-Well?
-Ahh, she will be yours.
-When!?
-At your discretion...But first, I desire more entertainment.
-The moon is almost gone!
-Ahh, there is yet time.
-At the first sight of the morning's rays' light...
-I know the laws of the night. I state there is still time for yet another.
-I would have time for my own pleasures!
-Your own pleasure comes only after mine, when I desire it. I am the Sole Ruler of the Dark World. There is no one to challenge my authority here. My word is the law--all powerful. <b>No one</b> is to challenge that authority, <b>no one!</b>. Is that understood? It is my command.
-I understand, Master
-Then see that it does not happen again, in the penalty of Everlasting Despair. Now are there others?
-There are others.
-The moon sinks lower into the hills! We must hurry to the finish.
-I will decide the conclusion.
-You had the mummy cancel all the others scheduled for this session.
-Then cancel my order.
-The <b>moon</b> is almost <b>gone!</b>
-There is yet time. Don't you want your own pleasure?
-Oh, if there is only time!
-Hahh, there is always time... All in good time...there is <b>always</b> time. You shall have your pleasure. <b>THAT</b>... I <i>decree</i>
-The time...is short.
-For what!?!
-Your pleasures of course!
-You mean...!
-You may take her now.
-Is there time?
-You better hope there is.
-Thank you, Master! Thank you.
-They are live ones?
-Yes, Master.
-Live ones where only the dead should be?
-Have we in some way made you angry, Master?
-You know better than that.
-We don't know of anything, Master...
-Then why do you shake so?
-It's not often an Emperor like <i>you</i> calls on creatures like us.
-Well rest easy, I'm not angry with either of you.
-Then it is some service you desire of us.
-There are one or two which should complement the night's entertainment, Master
-Ahh, good. Then I will see them. Dismiss the rest.
-Ahh, the curiousity of youth... on the road to ruin! May it ever be so adventurous!
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
-I have promised both The Wolf Man and The Mummy a reward. It could be that <b>you</b> are that reward.
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
-No. No! No!
-I don't like snakes. I remember the one Cleopatra used. Cute little rascal until it flicked out that red tongue, and those two sharp fangs. You'd never think such a little thing packed such a big wallop.
-Aaaaahhnnnhaaaaaannnhhh?
-Hurt her? Hell, it killed her!
-We had lots of snakes in my ancient Egypt...slimy, slinky things.
-Aahhhhnnnaaahahnn. AaaaaahhhhoooWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-When I was alive, they were the things nightmares were made of.
-He wants us.
-Aaahhnnnahnnnn.
-What do you suppose for?
-Aaaaannnnnuuunnnuhhhhh?
-Did you do something to get us into trouble again?
-Aannnnaahhnn.
-Did you howl off-key at the moon again?
-Aannnnaahhnn.
-I could make her another Cleopatra...
-Ahh hahahhnnn hahnnn!
-That's funny, Adele. How many more times you gonna gimme that one?
-Till it's not funny any more. What do you want, Jack?
-You know that Super Bowl party? They changed the date. It's on <u>tonight</u>, eight-thirty.
-Didn't you tell me one-time calls aren't monitored?
-I said not as a rule.
-So why don't you come right out and tell me what you're talking about?
-Listen to Miss Smarty Mouth. Out there in the free world.
-What's free about it? I'm looking for work.
-What happened to Mandrake the Magician?
-Emil the Amazing. The bastard fired me and hired another girl, a redhead. I'm working on a new business card, pass out to the cafes. How's this sound--
-Listen, Adele, the reason I called, that party is today instead of Sunday. About eight-thirty, like only a few hours from now. So you'll have to get hold of Buddy, whatever he might be doing...
-And the one driving the other car?
-What're you talking about?
-Well, seeing as you have so much luck with cars, Buddy thought it might be better to bring two. He got this guy he says you know from Lompoc, Glenn something.
-Glenn Michaels.
-Yeah, that's him. Buddy says Glenn thinks you guys are real cool.
-Oh, is this Adele?
-Yes, it is.
-I want to speak with you, please.
-Lie face down on the floor.
-Yes.
-You do the sawing of the box in half trick with you inside?
-Yes.
-You were <i>both</i> in the trunk? Together?
-The FBI didn't tell you I was with them?
-They didn't <i>tell</i> me anything, they asked questions.
-But you know what I'm talking about, don't you? About Glenn, don't you, and the second car?
-I'm getting ready to go out. You can come in if you want, sit down for a minute. Would you like a Diet Coke?
-He didn't hurt you or anything, did he?
-You mean, did he try to jump me? No, but he was kind of talkative.
-You didn't visit him in prison.
-He didn't want me to.
-Why not?
-I don't know. He was different after he was sentenced, looking at thirty years. Said it depressed him every time the younger cons called him an old timer.
-But you spoke to him on the phone.
-He'd call every once in a while.
-He called the day he escaped.
-He did? I don't remember. Did he say about me? In the trunk?
-He said he wished the two of you could start over, live a normal life.
-Huh. Problem is, Jack's idea of a normal life is robbing banks. It's all he's ever done.
-Did you know that when you married him?
-I'll say one thing for Jack, he was never ugly or mean, or drank too much. He was very considerate, lights on or off, if you know what I mean.
-Adele, sooner or later, he's gonna get caught. I'd like to get him before he does something else, makes it worse on himself.
-Jack came out of a bank he just robbed in Pasadena, couldn't get his stolen car to start. Battery was dead. He looks over, sees Buddy sitting in a burgundy Bonneville, goes up, offers him a thousand dollars for a jump. Turns out, Buddy was casing the same bank and saw the whole thing. Buddy says, I'll take the thousand, but we're leaving in
-Till they got busted.
-That wasn't Jack's fault. No, that was on account of Buddy, for some reason, decided to call his sister and confess to a job <u>before</u> they'd done it instead of after. She called the FBI and they both went down, ended up at Lompoc. I think Buddy felt kinda bad about that.
-Ask him his name.
-You're good.
-Adele? You in there?
-I talk to the guy you work for, Emil. He tole me your number and where you live. See, I'm looking for an assistant and would like to speak to you.
-Oh. Uh-huh.
-You did work for Emil, right?
-Yeah, I was Emil's box-jumper for almost four years.
-You were his what, his box?
-You say you perform in the Miami area?
-I'm not dressed.
-Wait in the hall! I have to get dressed!
-I don't know where he is.
-Listen, I'm the one help Jack escape from prison. He tole me, I can't find him to see you. So why don't you open this fucking door. Okay? So we can speak.
-Go away, or I'll call the police.
-It's Richard Ripley.
-I bet that's all the hacks they send out. Otherwise nobody's left to mind the store.
-Where in the hell are we?
-That's the turnpike up there. Glenn's waiting with the other car.
-We may as well leave her, we're leaving the car and we gotta leave her some place anyway, what's the difference where?
-Jesus Christ, what were you doing in there?
-Do we need him?
-Wait a minute. Let me have your raincoat. Somebody forgot to bring me clean clothes.
-Why you brought Glenn into this, I'll never know.
-How 'bout the score was his idea to begin with?
-I don't know why, but every time he opens his mouth I want to punch him out.
-You want to take her to my place and get cleaned up? You come out of the bathroom with your after-shave on and she goes, "Oh, I had you all wrong"?
-I want to talk to her again, that's all. See what would happen under, you know, normal circumstances.
-I'm just saying she wasn't scared.
-You're just jealous it was me in the trunk with her and not you.
-I've been dreaming about a hot bath for the last six months. Soak the prison off me.
-There's some lilac oil, you want some, a vanilla candle under the sink.
-Oh, man.
-There's something about a nice hot bath, transforms a person. It's not just about opening up your pores, know what I mean? There's just something about the heat and the wet that's calming you know? Settles me in a way that I really can't articulate.
-I know exactly what you mean. It's just a feeling. You know, I could go for some wine tonight.
-There's a store around the corner, I'll be right back.
-They pass this picture around you can go anywhere you want, nobody'll know you.
-I wasn't feeling my best that day. I'd just drawn thirty to life.
-Paper says there's ten grand each on you, Chino and Lulu.
-Say anything in there about Karen Sisco?
-Just that she got away.
-Yeah, but what happened after she drove off with Glenn?
-Think this old guy is her boyfriend? It's the only picture she carries.
-Longer we hang around down here, Jack, better chance there is either Glenn's gonna fuck up the whole score, or we gonna get busted, or both.
-What?!
-Chino's gonna wanna talk to me.
-He's running for his life, he doesn't give a shit about you.
-He's gotta know by now that I gave him up back at Glades. He does, he's gonna try to find me. Maybe go see Adele, see what she knows.
-Jack?
-We were talking one time, drinking rum. I may've mentioned Adele, how she worked for a magician. Chino got interested. He's like, Yeah? How does he saw the woman in half? He wanted to meet her. Or get a look at her if she ever came to visit.
-So call her up. Tell her don't talk to any Cubans.
-Her phone's probably tapped.
-And you know they're gonna have some people watching the hotel.
-Nice disguise.
-I'm a tourist.
-You at least bring the gun?
-There. You see the guy sitting on the porch? The old ladies and one guy? You know they'll have a couple more in a car somewhere.
-I guess Adele's in good hands.
-Sure looks that way.
-Let's go to Detroit.
-First thing we do, we get to Detroit, we find Glenn, then we find a window to throw him out of.
-I been thinkin', if I was Glenn, I was up there to take down the Ripper, where would I go?
-Well, first off, if you were Glenn, you wouldn't be thinking.
-Remember Snoopy Miller, his old pal from Lompoc?
-Snoopy. Christ, I thought he'd be brain dead by now.
-They know where I live, I guess they know what I drive, so maybe we should pick up another car on the way.
-"Fight over tuna casserole may have spurred slaying." Seems this woman's live-in boyfriend, seventy years old, complained about her tuna noodle casserole and she shot him in the face with a twelve-gauge. Police found noodles in the woman's hair and think the guy dumped the casserole dish on her before she shot him. They'd been together ten years.
-Whatta you think?
-I think Glenn opened his big mouth and now we got us another partner.
-Is that Snoopy? In the purple doo rag?
-Outside of that.
-Doesn't say what she's doing up here, but I don't think it has anything to do with us.
-I think she's after Glenn. The girl still with you?
-They don't stay the night, Jack, 'less you pay for it.
-You tell your sister about it?
-Just hung up.
-How long you talk to her?
-Two hours.
-How long were you with the girl?
-Forty-five minutes.
-You didn't tell your sister about Ripley, did you? 'Cause I don't wanna go through that again.
-Forget about my sister. If Karen Sisco's tailing Glenn, we're fucked. Tomorrow night at the fights we all get picked up.
-Now that's a really big house.
-Jesus, look at that wall. Place almost looks like a prison.
-No doubt the man's got some big-ass security system.
-Time comes, we knock on the door. See if he wants to talk about old times. Go in the easy way.
-Yeah? You think he'll let us in, we got Snoopy and the muscle-bound asshole with us?
-Who says anybody's gonna be with us? I say we go to the fights tomorrow, find out what the Snoop's big plan is, then go in ahead of those guys -- <u>alone</u>.
-Let Glenn deal with the Snoop, while we're off livin' the good life.
-Tell me something, Buddy. You know anyone who's actually done one last big score and gone to live the good life? Cause it occurred to me that everyone <u>talks</u> about doing it, but I don't know anyone who's actually gone and <u>done</u> it. Do you?
-I mean, they don't know for sure he's dead. Look, there's always a chance we'll walk out've there with nothing. I say let fate decide.
-Let fate decide? What're you, the fuckin' Dali Lama now?
-My sister believes in fate, but not hell. That's why she stopped praying for the lost souls since you don't hear that much about purgatory anymore. But every day she asks her boss to pray I don't fuck up. Whatta you think, you think there's a hell, Jack?
-Yeah, it's called Glades Correctional Institution and I'm sure as shit not going back there or any place like it.
-They put a gun on you, you'll go back.
-Listen, I gotta get some better shoes, few other things before tomorrow. Why don't you drop me off at the Ren Cen, we'll hook up later?
-It took you, what, seven hours to buy a pair of shoes?
-And she saw you?
-Yes, she did.
-So how's that work, a wanted felon socializing with a U.S. Marshal?
-You know how I felt about her.
-Did you give her a jump? If you did I might begin to understand where your head's at.
-It wasn't about getting laid. I just wanted to know what might've happened if things were different.
-You find out?
-So what's that mean? That you're disappointed by what you found or you're sorry you robbed all those banks?
-They want to go tonight, before Glenn gets in any trouble, opens his big mouth.
-You know they gonna set us up.
-I get that feeling, yeah.
-I'll make you a deal. Get out of here. Right now. I'll do the job with the Snoop, meet you wherever you want and give you half.
-Half for doing what?
-Getting me out of Glades for starters.
-There's still time, take me up on my offer.
-You ever wear one of these?
-I don't ski.
-They found the safe.
-You remember Buddy, don't you, Richard?
-They look like plain old rocks.
-Come <i>on</i>.
-Shit.
-What?
-They're gonna rape the maid, aren't they.
-From the looks of those boys, the Ripper too.
-And then they'll kill 'em.
-We made it, didn't we?
-I'm going back inside.
-No, you dump the van, meet me at the airport. I'll take one of Ripley's cars.
-Jack --
-Hello, Daniel.
-I wanna be on the task force, Daniel.
-That's nice of you to offer, Karen, but I got all the help I can use right now. Instead, let's talk about how you got the bump on your head.
-Isn't that my report you're holding onto?
-Yes, but I want to hear you tell it. Starting with when you tried to grab the wheel -- where was this?
-There's a couple of points I keep wondering about have to do with the two guys that grabbed you. Buddy is it? And this fella Jack Foley. I swear the man must've robbed two hundred banks in his time.
-Really? Huh. He told me he didn't remember how many he robbed.
-You talked to him?
-In the trunk, yeah?
-What'd you talk about?
-Oh... different things, prison, movies.
-This fella holds you hostage, you talk about movies?
-It was an unusual experience.
-Foley made me think of that fella Carl Tillman, the one you were seeing, it turns out the same time he was doing banks. You recall that?
-When I was seeing Carl Tillman, I didn't know he robbed banks.
-Yeah, but I had enough reason to believe he did, and I told you. So you had to at least suspect him.
-And what happened to Carl?
-The time came, you shot him. But you didn't shoot Foley or the guy with him. They're unarmed, you had a shotgun and you let them throw you in the trunk. Okay, now you got your Sig in your hand. You say in the report you couldn't turn around, he had you pinned down. But when the trunk opened, how come you didn't cap
-Is that what you would've done?
-You say in the report Glenn didn't have a gun, but you let him get away, too.
-Daniel, what do you work on most of the time, fraud? Go after crooked bookkeepers.
-Karen, I've been with the Bureau fifteen years, on all kinds of investigations.
-Have you ever shot a man? How many times have you been primary through the door?
-I have to qualify, is that it?
-We'll talk another time, Karen. All right? I'd like to know why Foley put you in that second car when he didn't need you any more.
-You'll have to ask him.
-Shut up.
-Karen. Where are you? I been trying to get a hold of you.
-Daniel. Listen --
-Where are you? I been trying to reach you.
-I'm at Adele Delisi's.
-What-- we already talked to her. That's a dead end.
-Yeah, I know. I was just leaving. Why were you trying to reach me?
-There was a Buddy Bragg at Lompoc around the same time Foley was there. We got an address for him at the Adams Hotel in Hallandale. I want you to go there, see if you can get the manager to i.d. him as the other guy. If he does, you call me right away...
-All right, but...
-But don't you <u>do</u> anything. You just have a seat, wait for me to get there.
-Sure, Daniel.
-Now. What is it you wanted to tell me?
-Oh, I was just wondering, if I were to bring in Chirino, would you put me on the task force?
-What? Is that what you're calling me about?
-Yes or no, Daniel. If I get him, will you let me go after Foley?
-Yeah, sure, Karen. You bring in Chirino, you can be on the task force.
-That's all I wanted to know.
-You get the key?
-You're primary, you're secondary, you're point man.
-You're gonna use a ram?
-Yeah, why?
-Take the radio, stay down here in the lobby, watch the elevator.
-What? Daniel, I wanna go upstairs.
-Now you see Foley and this guy Bragg come in behind us, whatta you do?
-Call and tell you.
-Leave it where it is.
-Wait. You not Adele?
-I'm a federal marshal and you're under arrest. Put the gun on the table. I mean, now.
-Put it down or I'll shoot.
-You wouldn't shoot me, would you?
-What do you want to bet?
-I could walk out of here.
-You can live or die, it's up to you.
-Oh, is that right? You going to shoot me? Nice girl like you? I don't think so.
-Daniel Burdon, please. Karen Sisco.
-You excited?
-I told you, man, Super Bowl Sunday.
-Yeah, but I see you moved it up.
-Why you think is today?
-You want, I tole you you can come. You all right, Foley. I like you.
-You see what they doing, those posts out there? Putting up another fence, five metres on the other side of the one that's there. We wait until Super Bowl Sunday, they could have the second fence built and we have to dig another nine, ten days. So we going soon as it's dark. You want -- I mean it -- you can still come.
-Ironic, isn't it?
-How are you, Raymond?
-Quite a mess.
-Yeah. And I thought everyone liked Eddie.
-Who?
-Dude in the dress is Eddie Solomon, used to buy scag off a corner till he kicked it and found his happiness with crack and then started dealing himself. Word on the street was he was saving up for an operation.
-What is it with crack and transsexuals?
-Yeah, Eddie was a real character. Had these girls cooked the rocks he called the Rockettes.
-Yeah. I saw one of 'em outside.
-Other than we had so much fun the last time we worked together. You gonna tell me why you're comin' to me instead of the FBI?
-I report to the FBI, first thing they're gonna do is ask me to go get some coffee.
-You know, I'm not in homicide any more.
-No, I didn't know that.
-Yeah, I'm crimes against persons and property now, also sex crimes and child abuse.
-Detroit, you must be pretty busy.
-Yeah, and, as you can see, home invasions are big, too.
-Listen, Raymond, a year ago, DEA had this guy Glenn Michaels on possession with intent but couldn't make it stick. In his statement, Glenn said he went up to Detroit to visit a friend and look into job opportunities -- if you can believe that.
-Who was the friend?
-Guy named Maurice Miller, also known as Snoopy, a former prizefighter.
-Christ, I know Snoopy Miller. He's a fuckin' wackjob thinks he's Sugar Ray Leonard. Hangs out with a couple other Grade-A nutcases over on the West side.
-I'll need a last known address.
-That's fine, but I don't want you to talk to Miller alone.
-Hello?
-We're a few minutes away. Just sit tight, stay outta the house till we get there, understand?
-Karen, I told you not to--
-Sign says "Shut the fuck up." Or can't you guys read?
-There a problem, Foley?
-Yeah, I got a problem. This is the dumbest fucking shakedown in the history of dump shakedowns. Three hundred bucks for a pillow?
-How much for your company at chow?
-Company, shit. I watch the man's back.
-I bet. How much?
-This doesn't concern you, Foley. Why don't you go on out to the yard, have yourself a smoke?
-Himey here's a pro-toh-jay of mine. He's ranked number thirty-two in the federal prison system.
-Snoopy Miller, famous fight thrower.
-It seems to me I been reading about you in the newspaper. Busted out of some joint in Florida, huh?
-Like being back in the yard, huh?
-Just like it. Nobody backing down. You back down, you pussy. Tell me what you and Buddy doing up here in the cold?
-Look, Snoop, I don't know what Glenn promised you or what you think you're gonna get, but the deal is me and Buddy get half of whatever we take from Ripley, understand? How you and Glenn cut up the rest is up to you.
-Let's go outside and talk.
-What's the matter with right here? It's nice and warm.
-Who's sitting here?
-Reggie, push off and hit, man. Push him off.
-We're leaving.
-The fuck you talking about?
-Look, what you worried about Glenn for? What's he know?
-Soon as we leave here. Stop home and pick up what we need and go do it.
-Give me a minute, talk to Buddy.
-You got two minutes, that's all. Make up your mind.
-That what they're wearing these days to break and enter?
-Break and enter, shit. Take it and git, how it's done. Don't waste any time. That's how you do it.
-So you've done this before, huh?
-Takes the TV, the VCR, some other shit and leaves his wallet on the floor.
-That's a wonderful story, Snoop. I'm very excited about tonight.
-You know how to use one a these?
-Good luck, Richard.
-Jack, you don't use a gun, do you?
-Not until recently.
-Nervous?
-A little.
-This kind of setup, you don't have any idea what the fuck you're doing -- do you?
-Why you're just a girl. What do you do for a living you pack a shotgun?
-You comfy?
-If I could have a little more room.
-There isn't any. All this shit you got in here. What is all this stuff anyway? Handcuffs, chains... what's this can?
-For your breath. You could use it. Squirt some in your mouth.
-Where's your gun, your pistol?
-Boy, it stunk in there.
-I believe it. You've ruined a nine- hundred-dollar suit my dad gave me.
-Yeah, went real nice with that twelve gauge, too. Tell me, why in the world would someone like you ever become a federal marshall?
-The idea of going after guys like you appealed to me.
-Guys like me, huh. Well, listen, even though I've been celibate lately, I'm not gonna force myself on you. I've never done that in my life.
-You wouldn't have time anyway. We come to a roadblock, they'll run the car, find out in five seconds who it belongs to.
-If they get set up in time, which I doubt. And even if they do they'll be looking for a buncha little Latin fellas, not a big black guy driving a Ford.
-Who, Buddy? Yeah. He's a good guy. Back when we jailed together, he'd call his sister every week without fail. She's a born-again Christian, does bookkeeping for a televangelist. Buddy calls her up, confesses his sins, tells her about whatever bank he happened to rob.
-Buddy. That's his given name?
-So, what's <u>your</u> name? It'll be in the paper tomorrow anyway.
-Jack Foley. You've probably heard of me.
-Why, are you famous?
-Time I was convicted in California? FBI told me I'd robbed more banks than anyone in the computer.
-How many was that?
-Tell you the truth, I don't know. I started when I was eighteen, driving for my Uncle Cully and his partner, Gus. They go into a bank this one time in Slidell, Gus jumps the counter to get the tellers and breaks his leg. All three of us ended up in Angola.
-That's funny.
-I thought so, too.
-It was me, I woulda left ol' Gus on the floor.
-I believe you would have. Another fall, I did seven years at Lompoc. And I don't mean the place next door where some of Nixon's people went.
-I know the difference. You were in Lompoc USP, the federal penitentiary. I've delivered people there. So basically you've spent half your life in prison.
-Basically. Yeah. If I go back now, I do a full thirty years, no time off. Can you imagine looking at that?
-You don't seem all that scared.
-Of course I am.
-You don't act like it.
-What do you want me to do? Scream? I don't think it would help much. I'm just gonna sit back, take it easy, and wait for you to screw up.
-Jesus, you sound like my ex-wife.
-You were married? All those falls, I'm surprised you had time.
-It was just a year, give or take a few days. I mean, it's not like we didn't get along or anything. We had fun, we just didn't have that... that thing, you know? That spark, you know what I mean? You gotta have that.
-Uh-huh.
-We still talk, though.
-You know, this isn't gonna end well, these things never do.
-Yeah, well, if it turns out I get shot like a dog, it'll be in the street, not off a goddamn fence.
-Oh, you mean of Bonnie and Clyde? Hm. You ever see pictures of him, the way he wore his hat? You could tell he had that don't-give-a-shit air about him.
-I don't recall his hat, but I've seen pictures of him lying dead, shot by Texas Rangers. Did you know he didn't have his shoes on?
-Is that right?
-They put a hundred and eighty-seven bullet holes in Clyde, Bonnie Parker and the car they were driving. Bonnie was eating a sandwich.
-You're full of interesting facts, aren't you?
-That part in the movie where they get shot? Warren Beatty and... I can't think of her name.
-Faye Dunaway.
-Yeah, I liked her in that movie about TV...
-<i>Network</i>. Yeah, she was good.
-And the guy saying he wasn't gonna take any more shit from anybody...
-Peter Finch.
-Yeah, right. Anyway, that scene where Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway get shot? I remember thinking at the time it wouldn't be a bad way to go, if you have to.
-Bleeding on a country road.
-You're sure easy to talk to. I wonder -- say we met under different circumstances and got to talking, say you were in a bar and I came up to you -- I wonder what would happen.
-Nothing.
-I mean if you didn't know who I was.
-You'd probably tell me.
-I'm just saying I think if we met under different circumstances...
-Another one Faye Dunaway was in I liked, <i>Three Days of the Condor</i>.
-With Robert Redford, when he was young.
-I never thought it made sense, though, the way they got together so quick.
-Really.
-I mean, romantically.
-Get your hands up and turn around. <u>Now</u>.
-You know who this is?
-How'd you get this number?
-Who was it answered the phone?
-None of your business.
-I'm just worried maybe I'm not old enough for you.
-That's my dad.
-Really. He has a cop's face.
-How do you know? Wait-- you have my wallet.
-And your gun.
-Think I could have them back?
-How do we do that?
-Let's see. You could come on by my dad's place, drop 'em off.
-There's a guy here on the task force right now. Maybe I should put him on the phone, let you two work it out.
-You won't do that.
-Why not?
-My dad's retired. He was a Private Investigator. Forty years. I used to work for him.
-I can just picture that, a cute girl like you following slip-and-fall and whiplash cheaters.
-Something I've been wondering, what ever happened to your Uncle Cully?
-Why? You think he might tell you where I am?
-Unless you wanna tell me.
-He's dead. He did twenty-seven years before he came out and died not too long after in Charity Hospital, I think trying to make up for all the good times he'd missed. That's not gonna be me.
-One last score, that the idea? Move to some island.
-I'm partial to mountains myself. But if you like islands, we'll make it an island.
-Whatta you mean <u>we'll</u> make it an island?
-It takes hours to get a drink around here. There's only one waitress.
-I can go to the bar.
-Don't leave me.
-Those guys bother you?
-You like bourbon?
-Love it.
-Well, we got that out of the way. Tell me, Celeste. What do you do for a living?
-I'm a sales rep. I came here to call on a customer and they gave me a hard time because I'm a girl.
-Is that how you think of yourself?
-What, as a sales rep?
-A girl.
-I don't have a problem with it.
-I like your hair. And that suit.
-I had one just like it -- well, it was the same idea, but I had to get rid of it.
-You did?
-It smelled.
-Having it cleaned didn't help, huh?
-No. What do you do for a living, Gary?
-Not yet. Don't say anything yet. Okay?
-I don't think it works if we're somebody else. You know what I mean? Gary and Celeste, Jesus, what do they know about anything?
-It's your game. I've never played this before.
-It's not a game. Something you play.
-Well, does it make sense to you?
-It doesn't have to, it's something that happens. It's like seeing a person you never saw before -- you could be passing on the street -- you look at each other and for a few seconds, there's a kind of recognition. Like you both know something. But then the next moment the person's gone, and it's too late to do anything about it, but
-Oh, God...
-I called your room from downstairs.
-If I had answered, what were you gonna say?
-Well, I'd say who I was and do you remember me and ask if you'd like to meet for a drink.
-If I remembered you. I came looking for you. I would've said sure, let's do it. But for all you knew I could show up with a SWAT team. Why would you trust me?
-You like taking risks.
-You really wear that suit.
-Remember how talkative you were? In the trunk? Adele said you do that when you're nervous.
-She did, huh.
-You kept touching me, feeling my thigh.
-I might've smelled like a sewer, but you could tell I was a gentleman. They say John Dillinger was a pretty nice guy.
-I hear he didn't mean to. The cop fell as Dillinger was aiming at his leg and got him through the heart.
-You believe that?
-What were you gonna do with me?
-I don't know. I hadn't worked that part out yet. All I knew was that I liked you, and I didn't want to leave you there, never see you again.
-I wasn't sure you caught that.
-I couldn't believe it. I was thinking of you by then, a lot, wondering what it would be like if we did meet. Like if we could take a time-out...
-You know I saw you on the street.
-Where?
-You were going to see her?
-To warn her about Chino.
-So she did help you?
-I don't think we should get into that.
-No, you're right. Or Buddy. I won't ask if he's with you or what you're doing here in Detroit. Or if you've run into Glenn Michaels yet.
-You coming back?
-I want you to know something. I wasn't looking for just a fuck, if that's what you're thinking.
-Why are you mad?
-Or I did it for some kind of kinky thrill. Score with a bank robber the way some women go for rough trade.
-What about <i>my</i> motive? Now I can say I fucked a US Marshal. You think I will?
-You're not dumb.
-You getting serious on me now?
-I'm trying not to. I just wanna know what's gonna happen.
-Come on, Jack -- don't.
-Pretend I'm somebody else.
-If you don't, one of those guys will.
-What're you now, a desperado? Put the guns down.
-I'm sorry, Jack, but I can't shoot you.
-You just did, for Christ sake.
-He got three years and fined fifty million dollars and wrote 'em a fucking check. Like that, fifty mil, signed his name. Whoa-- little help here!
-Who you talkin' to, Studs? Me, or Buddy. I can't tell, you got those shades on.
-You guys-- come on-- this is too heavy!
-I guess the bright glare out here made it hard to see the numbers on the weights.
-Detroit. Snoopy Miller told me uncut diamonds are as easy to move as cash.
-Ever seen an uncut diamond, Studs? They look like plain old rocks.
-So. What's your point?
-My point is, that's probably what you're gonna end up with.
-You think he's lying?
-Oh, hey, Studs? We thought you were somebody else.
-Studs. Man, I haven't heard that since Lompoc. What's going on?
-Take your sunglasses off.
-I see better with them on.
-Wait in the car.
-You're in civilization now, man, ease up.
-I'd like you to go wait in the car. How's that? Take her with you and put her in back.
-In the trunk?
-Weren't you expecting us?
-She <i>knew</i> me from some bullshit dope bust. She drove me to court. Twice. You know what she said, we're in the car on the turnpike? "I never forget anybody I've cuffed and shackled."
-What happened to your shades? Someone finally step on 'em?
-Whose blood you got all over you?
-I thought you guys were busted.
-Some people are going out of here. What if I told you where and when?
-How many?
-I expect you to look out for me, Pup, let me run off work details.
-Okay. How many going out?
-I hear six.
-When?
-Looks like tonight.
-You know who they are?
-You don't wanna be standing there, the hacks start asking questions you don't wanna answer.
-Sounds high, doesn't it?
-You're smart, Ripley, you'll tell this guy to fuck off.
-Really? Well, I uhhh...
-Thanks for your help.
-Tell me something. What's it like, walk in a bank with a gun, stick it up?
-I don't know. I never used a gun.
-Really?
-You'd be surprised what all you can get, you ask for it the right way.
-You're the reason, Jack, I don't keep all my money in banks.
-No? Where do you keep it, Dick? I'm talking about all those uncut diamonds you told Glenn about.
-I know what you're talking about.
-You're the one with balls, Dick, say something like that to someone like Glenn. Or maybe you just forgot where you were for a minute.
-Yeah, but who's gonna believe Glenn? I mean, do <u>you</u> believe Glenn?
-Of course not.
-Plus, even it was true, he'd still have to figure out where I keep 'em.
-Doesn't have to figure out shit. You <u>told</u> him you keep 'em at your house.
-Tell me something, Jack, how much longer you in here?
-Twenty-two months, three days, two hours. Why?
-It's a little late for me.
-Hey, Jack? Bullshit. I didn't make my first million until I was forty- two. Forty-two. You really <u>want</u> to change, it's never too late.
-I don't know. I'm not exactly the nine-to-five type.
-Who is? But then you gotta look at a job as more than just work. You gotta look at it as peace of mind. As <i>security</i>, you know what I mean? I got offices in Detroit, Miami, Boston, take your pick.
-My ex-wife's in Miami. It's nice down there.
-No need to decide now. Be like the fish. Let whatever happens happen.
-The fish?
-Yeah, fish live in the present. They don't dwell on yesterday and they don't worry about tomorrow. Even when a big fish attacks a little fish, there's no neurosis involved. No guilt afterward. No whining on some fish-shrink's couch. They just do it. They accept.
-I can't say that I've paid that much attention to 'em before.
-The fish saved my life. Two years ago, I found out I had high blood pressure. So my doctor, he tells me to go get an aquarium, look at the fish every time I felt myself stressing out.
-And the guy sent you a bill for this?
-It works. You should try it sometime.
-I still haven't made up my mind yet.
-What's to think about?
-You goin' right back to work?
-Today, I'm offering you a lousy job at a lousy wage. You think you're better than that? Fine. Show me. Show me that you're really willing to change and we'll talk about something better. A lot better. But first, Jack, you gotta earn it.
-How, Dick? The way <u>you</u> earned it? By marrying some rich broad owns the company, selling it off a piece at a time, then divorcing her? What is this Knute Rockne, pull yourself up by the bootstraps bullshit? Back in prison, guy like you, place like that, you were ice cream for freaks. You were a goddamn dumpling. Maurice and a dozen other guys
-Gentlemen. I think we've calmed down now. Haven't we, Jack?
-Foley? That you?
-How are you, Richard?
-Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing here? What's going on? Who's upstairs?
-Maurice Miller, couple of his friends.
-Have they got Midge up there?
-What kinda man lets a woman answer the door, this time a night?
-We thought it might be her husband. Sometimes he comes and checks up on her. She told him I was down in Florida.
-What do you want from me, Jack? Name it. You want money?
-You gonna write me a check?
-Good God... they're shooting Midge!
-I can't believe you're still angry with me, Jack, after all this time.
-Dumbfuck Glenn was right, there's about five million worth in there, wouldn't you say, Richard?
-I were you, I'd get up and run.
-I'm not leaving Midge.
-Don't be an asshole, Richard. They're gonna kill you.
-<i>Hejira?</i> What kinda name is that?
-Islamic.
-What's it mean, "No Hair"?
-The Hejira was the flight of Mohammed from Mecca in 622.
-The flight?
-The brothers in Leavenworth gave me the name.
-You were at Leavenworth, huh?
-For a time.
-Meaning?
-Meaning time came, I left.
-You busted out?
-I prefer to call it an exodus from an undesirable place.
-And how long was it before they caught up with you?
-That time?
-There were others.
-Yeah. That was the ninth.
-The <u>ninth</u>?
-Ten, you count the prison hospital in Ohio I walked away from.
-You must be some kinda walker, Henry.
-Hejira.
-And so now you're off to Glades.
-Apparently, yeah. I was supposed to leave last night with the lady marshal, but for some reason she wanted to wait.
-She did, huh.
-Cheaper I guess, take us both down in one van.
-Yeah, could be. Or maybe she thought we'd have a lot to talk about.
-Like what?
-I'll send it to you at Glades.
-I got a big score lined up up north. They wouldn't even know about it, it wasn't for me. I could do it right now myself, except it's so fucking cold up there in January--
-You don't remember me, do you?
-It couldn't have been out at Glades, if that's what you're thinking. I was never out there.
-But you're sure we've met, huh?
-Do we have a gun in the car?
-I remember you now. Shit.
-Look, I can understand if you and Foley are close.
-We're not. I'm helping him, yeah--
-Take the next exit.
-What am I supposed to do <u>now</u>?
-Glenn, take the exit.
-Glenn, are you trying to steal this car?
-Jesus, I don't believe it.
-I mean I'm not stealing the fucking car.
-You're not?
-I already stole it. Last week or whenever it was, in West Palm. I can't be stealing it again, can I?
-The two guys you were with -- that one, that isn't Maurice Miller, is it? I've seen Snoopy's mug shot and that didn't look like him.
-Glenn, I know your life history, who your friends are, where you've been and now, it looks like, where you're going. Put your hands on the wheel.
-You're gonna bust me for picking up a car?
-For the car, for aiding and abetting a prison escape, and conspiring to do whatever you came here for.
-Listen, these guys, they're gonna be out here any minute looking for me. They're fucking animals.
-What's going on, Glenn?
-Nothing. I just wanna get the fuck outta here.
-But I thought the whole thing was your idea?
-Rippin' off Ripley was my idea, but these guys, man, they're into shit I can't handle.
-Ripley? You mean the wall street guy?
-Yeah, the plan was to pick him up at his office tomorrow, take him out to his house in Bloomfield Hills. Now, I don't give a shit what they do.
-And is Foley a part of this?
-He's supposed to be, but he hasn't shown up yet, which is a good thing for him.
-Why's that?
-Maurice is gonna kill him, try and collect the reward.
-But you say he hasn't shown up, you think he backed out?
-I don't know-- he doesn't exactly confide in me.
-Gee, I wonder why not.
-I'm freezing my ass off.
-You want to get out of here, run, it'll warm you up.
-Really?
-But listen, Glenn. If you're lying to me...
-I know, you'll find me. Jesus, I believe it. I keep thinking if you hadn't driven me to federal court last summer, you wouldn't even know who I am.
-Snoopy. Glenn Michaels.
-Listen, Snoopy, I'm on my way up to Detroit and need a place to crash.
-You crazy, come up <u>here</u>? It's fuckin one degree outside.
-I wanna talk to you about a job.
-Uh-huh.
-I can't really go into it right now. I'll just tell you it's someone big.
-Some<u>one</u>? Gimme a hint.
-It's a guy you know.
-Gimme another hint.
-You there?
-Watch the road, boy. I like this Town Car. We can cruise the man's neighbourhood without getting the police or private security people on our ass.
-Sure, right, they see Bigfoot driving around a black guy wearing shades and a lavender fucking bandanna, no, they won't think anything of it.
-You sure Foley and his pal aren't coming up here, do this themself?
-So you still haven't said, how you wanna do it?
-I'll show you, soon as I get one more guy I'm gonna need, Moselle's brother, Kenneth. Along with White Boy there.
-Wait a minute. I'm letting <i>you</i> in on this, not all your friends.
-Thing I'm worried about is you.
-Me?
-Yeah. If you can step up and actually do it. Understand? 'Stead of just talking the talk.
-Can I do what?
-Walk in a house with me, do this cross- dressin' nigga named Eddie Solomon I used to sell to been dealin' on his own.
-What-- when?
-Right now, son.
-I don't have to prove shit to you. The Ripley job is <i>my</i> job. You're either in or you're not. You wanna pop some crack dealer pissed you off, that's your problem, not mine.
-Look, Glenn, I know you cool, but you don't have to give me no tone of voice, okay? You don't like what I'm saying, you can get out anywhere along here you want.
-I think you're forgetting, this is my car. I drove it up here.
-That was some shit, huh?
-Why'd he have to do that to that girl?
-It's all right with you, I'll just hang in the car.
-No. You gonna stay close to me from now on. So you don't disappear on me.
-Hi, Ray.
-You look great. Your dad taking good care of you?
-How's it going?
-Foley? Oh. No, it was one of the Cubans. Linares.
-Oh...
-You're a fighter?
-How you know that?
-I can tell.
-What'd you fight, middleweight?
-Light to super-middleweight, as my body developed. You go about what, bantam?
-Flyweight.
-You know your divisions. You like the fights? Like the rough stuff? Yeah, I bet you do. Like to get down and tussle a little bit? Like me and Tuffy, before she got run over, we use to get down on the floor and tussle. I say to her, "You a good dog, Tuffy, here's a treat for you." And I give Tuffy what
-You're not my type.
-Don't matter. I let the monster out, you gonna do what it wants.
-What's wrong with you?
-Moselle Miller?
-What do you want?
-I'm looking for Maurice.
-That's not Maurice?
-You like to sit down?
-I'm looking for a friend of mine I think Maurice knows.
-You not with probation, one of those?
-No.
-You a lawyer?
-Glenn? No, I don't know any Glenn.
-He said he stayed here last November.
-Here? In this house?
-He said he stayed with Maurice.
-Well, <i>he</i> ain't even here that much. I like to know where he goes, but at the same time I don't <i>want</i> to know, you understand?
-Your dog was killed?
-Got run over by a car.
-Was a she, name Tuffy.
-Where do you think I might find Maurice?
-I don't know -- the gym, the fights. I <i>know</i> he don't miss the fights. Having some tomorrow night at the State Theater. He use to take me.
-You fit another Chanel suit in here?
-It's beautiful.
-It's a --
-Thanks, Dad.
-Happy birthday, kid. You want another Coke?
-Can't. I gotta drive out to Glades, then I'm meeting Ray Nicolet at ten.
-Which one is that? The ATF guy?
-He was. Ray's with the F.B.I. now, he switched over.
-He's still married though, huh?
-Technically. They're separated.
-Oh, he's moved out?
-He's about to.
-Then they're not separated, are they?
-Can we change the subject?
-What're you doing at Glades?
-Serving process, a Summons and Complaint. Some con doing mandatory life doesn't like macaroni and cheese. He files suit, says he has no choice in what they serve and it violates his civil rights.
-You know you can always step in, work with me full-time as one of my investigators.
-No thanks.
-You used to like it.
-Dad...
-You'd meet doctors, lawyers -- nothing wrong with them necessarily if they're divorced. Why settle for some cowboy cop who drinks too much and cheats on his wife? That's the way those hotshots are, all of 'em.
-I really gotta go.
-We don't get to talk much any more.
-How 'bout I come next Sunday and watch the Super Bowl with you?
-You were talking in your sleep.
-What'd I say?
-"Hey, yourself."
-What are you thinking about?
-The Sig Sauer you got me for my birthday.
-He doesn't even look like that.
-No?
-Ray's with the F.B.I. Task Force, working on the prison break.
-Was it Foley?
-Hello? Yeah, she is. Just a minute. For you.
-Remember, pay attention to how she talks about Foley, her tone. Do it right, she'll tell you things she wouldn't tell Burdon. Tell her you think he's a nice guy. No, first tell her about being in the trunk with him, in the dark for half an hour, and see how she takes it. If she's in on it, what does she get for
-He's pretty laid back, confident.
-He remind you of that guy, Tillman?
-Not at all.
-But you know he's dirty and you still wanna see him again.
-I want to bust his ass, put him in shackles.
-Maybe. But you're also curious about the man. Twice last night you asked your married boyfriend Nicolet about him. You were concerned, but you didn't want to show it.
-My married boyfriend - setting him up with that news story so you could talk about infidelity. I couldn't believe it.
-You like the wild ones, don't you? Tillman, Nicolet and now Foley. You know, I've always said there's a thin line between the cowboy cops and the armed robbers, all those guys that love to pack.
-Foley <i>kid</i>napped me.
-He waved to you?
-I couldn't swear to it, but I'm pretty sure he did.
-You wave back?
-I didn't have time.
-Buddy's sister Regina Mary Bragg got two calls from Buddy up in Detroit this morning, called Burdon. She's also the one gave Burdon Buddy's address.
-So?
-So what I want to know is why Buddy still calls his sister every week even after she turned him in.
-He doesn't seem to hold a grudge. What <i>I</i> want to know is why, they got such a big score up north, did Foley hang around Miami for so long? Any thoughts on that one?
-You gonna go get him?
-It's possible. Why?
-I was just thinking... you could have a nice time with him on the plane -- like picking up where your interlude, or whatever you call it, left off. And then throw him in the can.
-He knew what he was doing. Nobody forced him to rob banks.
-Not yet. Where's Mr. Ripley?
-I told you, he isn't here.
-Out for the evening?
-He's in Florida. Palm Beach.
-You here all by yourself?
-Where's Ripley's safe at, he keep his valuables in.
-I don't have any idea.
-How do I look, mama?
-A'ight, this time we gotta get the motherfuckin' trajectory right... Okay, on three: One... Two...
-I've heard a lot about you, Mr. Sisco.
-In case no one knows what he does. Tell me, Ray, you ever wear one says, "Undercover"?
-Yeah, someone spotted two of 'em in this hobo camp out by the airport, called the number--
-Did you pay the guy the reward?
-...She fixes him pork chops and rice, the next thing you know they're making love on the sofa. She says he was very gentle.
-I spoke to her. The guy told her he missed his little girl and she felt sorry for him.
-The woman also said he stole her husband's gun, a twenty-two pistol, and some of his clothes.
-Thank you...
-Not so fast, Dick. Starting now, there's gonna be an across the board cost a living increase.
-What?
-Year ago, I come in here on credit card fraud, but after I shanked that loudmouth pussy on the yard the other day, my Dunn & Broadstreet, has gone way the fuck up.
-I think it's Dunn & <u>Brad</u>street. But then, I could be wrong...
-That Bausch & Lomb Saline shit you asked for is gonna be eighty bucks.
-Well, I need that...
-Faux goose down.
-Excuse me. Snoopy? Did we settle the fish thing?
-Well, if it isn't the Ripper hisself.
-Are those <i>my</i> suits?
-Midge.
-Forget about her. Tell me where the money's at.
-Foley's got it.
-We have a problem here?
-White Boy, how much is the reward on the man again?
-Ten gees.
-I think he must've fell in.
-I found a rubber.
-...the fuck is this...
-You good-lookin' sumbitch...don't you EVER die!
-That's your line for tonight, ya know.
-What, good-lookin' sumbitch?
-Are you sure they're here?
-What is it with Red? I've never seen him this way.
-Do you have trouble with your boobs in the uniform?
-You mean hiding them?
-We'll ask Evelyn. Evelyn? Evelyn!
-Now listen, it's hands off Billy. I mean, you can put your hands on him if you want to, but then my hands will break yours.
-He was that good?
-I wish she could forget him.
-He, I'm R-Red. Red S-Strange.
-Red...Strange?
-You know the football player, Red G- Grange? Well the guys called me R-Red, cause you know, I'm red...and they thought I was strange, so, you know, Red G-Grange, Red Str-Strange.
-But...they called you Strange? Because of Red Grange? I don't get it. Was Red Grange strange?
-Do you always stutter?
-Only when I'm n-n-n-
-Nervous?
-On loan from Colonel Doolittle, is it?
-That's me, Sir.
-Good on you, then, Rafe McCawley. We'll get you situated in some quarters, and then introduce you to the equipment you'll be flying.
-If you're patching up bullet holes right here on the runway, maybe we should skip the housekeeping and get right to the planes.
-Are all the Yanks as anxious as you are to get yourself killed, Lieutenant?
-You're Walker, right?
-Yes Sir.
-That was a nice little stunt you pulled, buzzing the base.
-You liked that?
-Oh yeah. I liked it so much I'm cutting you out of the squadron.
-Sir?
-I don't buy that hot dog shit. So you and your buddies are gonna transfer your planes up to Haleiwa.
-Hale-what?
-You'll love it. No base, no bars, just lots of sun and aircraft maintenance.
-Sir, I --
-Too late for apologies, Walker.
-Hey. You. Mr. Coma.
-Where's that lizard?
-What lizard?
-The one that slept in my mouth last night.
-Yeah.
-Rafe's girl, Evelyn?
-Ever hear of mai-tai's? Comes in a big...pot. Like...like...
-A m-missionary?
-I th-think I'm gonna like it here.
-Shit, he's puking on my feet!
-Well, you p-puked on his feet.
-They ready, Earl?
-Cock-suckin' right I do!! In the gun lockers!
-Earl! You said the planes were ready but -- but what?
-Danny, I don't like this fuckin' guy.
-Who the fuck taught you to fly?
-Bandits at 2 o'clock.
-It's Germans!
-Good shooting, Danny!
-Good shooting, Rafe!
-Land of the free...
-Home of the brave!
-Didn't you say test the limits?
-How could you do this?
-The Colonel helped me work it out.
-I don't mean how'd you do the paperwork, I mean how the hell did you do it without letting me in on it?
-I'm sorry, Danny, but they're only accepting the best pilots.
-Don't make this a joke, Rafe. You're talking about war, and I know what war does to people.
-Nah, you go on.
-I have to talk to Evelyn. And I want you to meet her.
-Didn't you say you told her not to come?
-Yeah.
-Then why are you looking for her?
-You'd always go sit in a plane whenever you were upset.
-Upset? Why should I be upset?
-Sorry.
-Why be sorry? That's what you feel, it's better to come out with it.
-I didn't mean it.
-Sure you did. So come on. Say what you think.
-Waitress! Four beers!
-You don't wanna put beer over mai-tai.
-We gotta face some facts here.
-What facts are those?
-I understand how it could happen. I know why any guy would love her. And I can't blame you that it happened. You thought I was dead, she was grieving, you were trying to help her.
-I was grieving too.
-Yeah, right. Anyway, you didn't know.
-So what are you saying?
-I'm saying now you do know. So it's time for you to fuck off.
-You left her. How's that for a fact?
-How come you're not pukin'?
-Don't blame her, Rafe. It's not like you're thinking.
-Fuck you.
-She said I was so much like you. I said, No, I'm not. I'm like I am because of you, but I'm not you, not as good as you. Everybody else saw me as a loser with a big chip on his shoulder. But you saw the better part of me, the part of me that could be like you, and changed me. You
-Get me into a plane!
-Where are we going?
-Auxiliary field at Haleiwa, ten miles north of here.
-What's there?
-This ain't a little feud, Earl, it's World War Two!
-It's tight.
-They're all over us!
-You hear my okay?
-Yeah. So you can call me if you need help.
-I got a half a tank. You?
-Land of the free.
-I'm out of ammo!
-Sorry you're gonna die -- cause I'm gonna make it.
-Fun today. Like old times.
-Danny, what the hell are you trying to do out there?
-What do you mean? I'm just doing what we've always done.
-No. You're trying to beat me.
-We've always tried to beat each other.
-Maybe just trying to measure up.
-It's shorter than our practice runway.
-They'll turn the ship into the wind before we launch. That'll help.
-It's not getting any longer.
-Broomsticks instead of tail guns.
-We'll get separated over the target, but you and I will rendezvous for the run to China. I'm on your wing.
-And I'm on yours. Land of the free.
-Danny...
-I can't make it.
-Hey! What is this, the planes all bunched up like that?
-The brass is afraid of sabotage. This makes 'em easier to protect -- and easier to service.
-What about easier to hit in an air raid?
-Who's gonna to that? Japan is four thousand miles away. So you guys just arrived, huh?
-Yeah.
-Lieutenant... I'm Danny Walker. I'm Rafe McCawley's best friend.
-Before Rafe left, he asked me to be the one to tell you, if it happened.
-He told me about you. That he had no other friend like you.
-Rafe's folks had a crop dusting business, owned their own planes. Real straight, frugal. My father was the town drunk. Went to sleep one night on the railroad tracks and was still there when the Dawn Express came along. Rafe and I were the only ones at the funeral. He took me back to his house, and I never left.
-You were more like brothers.
-I taught him to drink beer. He taught me how to fly.
-He said you're the only one he ever saw who was better in the air than him.
-How's everything?
-We got some soldiers in traction from a jeep accident, but it's quiet. Except for the occasional fighter plane buzzing us.
-That might not have been such a good idea. They're making us fly out of a half-paved airfield. The real punishment is that I won't be back to the barracks till it's too late for dinner or coffee. So I guess it's goodbye for awhile.
-I was just thinking that war is a series of goodbyes. Do you think that's why we're meeting. To help us say goodbye to Rafe?
-Sorry.
-He told me he didn't want to leave me with regret. Now that's all I have.
-Hey, have you seen Pearl Harbor at night?
-Well...sure.
-So beautiful!
-And where's the secret base, Sir? The one we t-takeoff from.
-C-Colonel, we been p-practicing takeoff's, but I ain't sure we can land on these carriers d-decks.
-We won't have the fuel to get back to the carriers; they'll turn and run back to Hawaii the minute we're airborne.
-Then wh-where do we land?
-Now we have fifteen requests for the Emperor's Palace...and one for Tokyo baseball stadium.
-I d-don't think Japs ought'a be allowed to p-play baseball.
-I'd like to bomb their Emperor too. But I think that'd just piss 'em off. The idea here, Gentlemen, is not revenge. We're here to prove to them that they're neither invincible nor superior. So let's try this again. Military targets only.
-Colonel, to f-fight you need strategy. To have strategy, ya gotta practice. And to practice it, ya gotta play --
-No baseball diamonds, Red.
-There are some people who think the outside loop is reckless and irresponsible.
-How could it be irresponsible, Sir, if you were the first man in the world to do it?
-Don't get smart with me, son.
-Never, Sir. I just meant it's dangerous only for the kind of pilot who wants to show off, rather than inspire the other pilots in his unit. And all you've done for me, Sir, working out the transfer, I did it to say thanks. To honor you, Sir. What the French call a "homage."
-That's bullshit, son. But it's really good bullshit.
-Good luck over there McCawley. I admire your decision.
-I heard what you did.
-We can explain, Colonel.
-Is that the good new, Sir, or --
-You're just about the only pilots in the Army with actual combat experience, so you're volunteering for a mission I've been ordered to put together. Do you know what top secret is?
-Well sure, Colonel --
-In flight school you qualified in single and in multi-engine planes. You'll be flying multi-engines here.
-Bombers.
-I thought I'd made it clear, I'm not just putting this mission together -- I'm leading it myself.
-Listen you guys. I'm the first plane -- then McCawley, Walker, the rest of you. I'll have the shortest run. If I don't make it, you don't go.
-Colonel...we're all going. Whether you make it or not.
-'Scuse me, 'Mam. All the ship's doctors is golfing, and I couldn't find nobody to look at this.
-Our doctor's gone too.
-Sorry to trouble you.
-How'd you get this?
-Boxin'.
-Win?
-What's your name?
-Dorie Miller, 'Mam.
-How often you fight like this?
-Every other Sunday. I'm heavyweight champion of the West Virginia.
-What do you get for winning?
-Thank you, 'Mam.
-Tell me something, Dorie. A man as big as you -- and smart too, you knew where to come when your ship couldn't help -- do you still have to fight with your fists to get respect?
-You take care, Dorie.
-Hello, Lieutenant. Good to see you.
-Oh, this is Betty.
-Danny's not coming?
-No, he...got some news today. He'll be okay, he just didn't feel like coming tonight.
-Whatever you're trying to tell me isn't good, is it. Or it wouldn't be so hard to say.
-The only reason it's hard to say is that I keep thinking I don't have the right to say it. But I've got to because it's true. I love you. That must surprise you.
-There's one thing I have to say. I'm going away.
-We're all going away.
-I'm going to the war. The real war. Hitler's taken Europe. The Brits are hanging on by their fingernails, and If they lose, there'll be more people killed than anybody can imagine. And not just there, but here.
-But you're in the U.S. Army, how could you --
-Colonel Doolittle pulled the strings, and put me on loan to the R.A.F. They need pilots, and we need experience. I leave tomorrow.
-You waited til tonight to tell me?
-Evelyn...you know the line -- let's make tonight memorable. What I feel about you makes it impossible for me to say something like that. If I don't come back, I don't want to saddle you with regret and sadness you'll carry the rest of your life.
-I don't know if you can choose that, Rafe.
-Maybe not. But I need you to know. I love you. And I will come back. I'll find a way. And then we'll get a chance to know if what I felt the first moment I saw you, and every minute since then, is real.
-I sent telegrams, I guess the military traffic held them up.
-Why were you sitting here, instead of...
-I saw you, I couldn't go in, I...just stood there wondering if you knew. You looked...sad, and I had to sit down a minute.
-How did you?...
-I called my folks, then Colonel Doolittle. The Colonel sent a man to pick me up. They wanted to debrief me. I told the Colonel I needed to see somebody first, and he had a supply flight heading out in an hour. I've done a lot of talking. You haven't said anything.
-I'm just...so amazed, so glad to know that you're okay. You are okay, aren't you?
-It's been...so different, being so sure you were dead.
-It's all right. Danny always said I see things with my emotions instead of my eyes.
-It's not your fault, Rafe. The letter I wrote you, they --
-Don't worry about that. Guys away from home, lonely, good-hearted women try to cheer them up.
-What else can we do?
-Rafe --
-I need to tell you something. I didn't know what it was to lose somebody, to see death and find how much it scares you. That you haven't lived and loved enough. I didn't understand. Forgive me.
-Rafe... No. You forgive me.
-Of course I forgive you. I know what you feel for Danny is real. And your choice is your choice.
-What?...
-They were bringing back a ship full of wounded and needed extra nurses along. I wrote Colonel Doolittle, and told him I needed to see you before you go.
-It must of been a convincing letter.
-Uncharged torpedoes have different balance.
-Everything real except the fact that no one is shooting back at us.
-If we achieve surprise, they will offer little resistance.
-Set up teams of radio operators to send out messages the Americans will intercept, concerning every potential American target in the Pacific. Include Hawaii -- the clutter will be more confusing that way.
-Brilliant, Admiral.
-We have achieved surprise, but their carriers are not in port. I don't like this.
-We have a fighter screen up, in case we are attacked, Admiral.
-We have achieved complete surprise! The first wave is returning, the second is attacking now, and we have lost only a few planes. We can launch a third wave, Admiral.
-If we launch the third wave and annihilate their fuel depots, we destroy their ability to operate in the Pacific for at least a year!
-What if the Japanese did invade?
-We have bombed Tokyo, Mr. President. Radio Tokyo interrupted it's own broadcast to make the announcement.
-Have the planes made it to China?
-There've been some complications, Sir. The Chinese didn't receive our request for homing beacons until is was too late to get them set. And the planes had to take off so early they may lack fuel to make the mainland anyway.
-So those brave men are flying blind and running out of fuel.
-The Chinese are sending out search parties to try to find the crews before the Jap patrols do, if any of the planes make it.
-Leapin' Jesus!
-The struts are loose, the hydraulics are leaking, and the electrical system's shorting out in the cockpit.
-Well which of those three ya want fixed?
-If ye'd wanted a bloody Cadillac ya should'a stayed in the bloody States!
-And if you don't give me a plane that can handle combat, you better start learning to speak German.
-Fook ya!
-Learn English, then!
-I have'na been able ta --
-So you join us, Admiral. Some of us thought your education at an American university would make you too weak to fight the Americans.
-If knowledge of opponents and careful calculation of danger is taken as weakness then I have misunderstood what it means to be Japanese.
-You have something to say, Yamamoto?
-The Council knows I have opposed fighting the Americans. No matter how great our resolve, they have resources beyond ours. If we must go to war, there is only one way -- deal them a blow from which it will take them years to recover. In that time we can conquer all of the Pacific, and they will have no choice but to ask
-You see us as capable of such a blow?
-Hello, Lilla!
-Quite a bit more rain than usual this year. I hope it doesn't spoil the rhubarb.
-What's it going to be, Elizabeth? Seventy—five? Eighty?
-I'm not telling.
-What's Peggy Sue going to do at your lodge meeting?
-Do you believe in all of that?
-Well, I like to speculate. This book I'm reading right now, a woman in Colorado says she lived in Ireland a hundred and fifty years ago. Her name was Bridey Murphy- and she gives names and dates and where she lived. She was hypnotized. Big bestseller.
-It's gonna rain again. Every time I wash the car, it rains.
-That never changes. You know, when you and Grandma are gone, the family's gone. I never see the cousins anymore.
-It's your grandma's strudel that's kept this family together.
-Grandpa, if you had a chance to do it all again, what would you do?
-Let's go.
-What does Grandma think you do at your meetings?
-I may be an old fool, but I think we can help you.
-I hope so. At least I got to see you and Grandma. Has it ever worked before?
-Do you have to wear that hat?
-Where were you? You said you'd be back at twelve.
-r was worried about you You didn't even call. You're always on my case if I don't call..
-How do you like my hair?
-But I want you and Scott to understand. Do you think he loves Janet? Maybe he's smashed too many fortune cookies.
-Come on Mom. Give him a break. He's missing the reunion because of you. You know he wants to go.
-Hey, you're a hip chick. You look like you stepped right out of Life magazine. Any time you want to borrow it again, just ask.
-Borrow?! This was my dress. Maybe it's a mistake. What if I'm the only one? I don't even want to go. Everybody's just going to say... Hi.. Where's Crazy Charlie?
-Mom, lots of people are separated and divorced.
-I feel ridiculous. Maybe I should go home and change.
-Why are you so nervous? What is the matter with you today?
-Carol!
-1 just did it for the reunion. I thought it would be fun.
-Welcome to the singles scene.
-I don't know how you do it. I've never even dated anybody but Charlie.
-You just have to remember... men are like houses and trade upwards... I thought you had a pretty good marriage.
-We did for a long time. We just got married too young, and ended up blaming each other for missing out on things.
-You should have left here years ago, like I did.
-It's not the place. I don't buy that. Trapped in the same town forever. The price she would pay for her teenage lust.
-After you got knocked up, my mother didn't want me to talk to you. She thought it was contagious.
-Oh, it's not so bad. I have two wonderful kids, my own business. Still, knowing what I know now, if I had the chance to do it all over again, I'd sure do things a lot differently.
-Hi, Peggy. God, that Walter Getz can still dance.
-Your first boyfriend. What do you think? Any sparks left?
-The only one?
-They're waiting. Come on.
-I can't. It's all too much.
-Where is it?
-Were taking you back to the nurse.
-We're going to take you home.
-I'll call you Later.
-I don't get it.
-He is kind of cute, isn't he?
-Yeah. You're so lucky. He really loves you, too. He's always telling Walter how wonderful you are.
-All right. What's the scoop?
-Did you memorize the whole book or only the good parts?
-Just what you underlined.
-You're kidding...? Carol, you have beautiful hair.
-I bet Dolores told Charlie.
-Okay. But let's have a girls night soon. Maybe a pajama party.
-What's the matter?
-It's that jerk Walter.
-What happened?
-After Charlie told Walter that he broke up with you because he wanted to play the field, Walter decided he should do the same thing.
-Welcome to the singles' scene.
-What a I going to do for the rest of my life? I don't have a boyfriend anymore.
-Lucky lady. Hi.
-Can you believe I want to marry that dork.
-Charlie really has a great voice.
-I hear she does more than talk with her mouth.
-That's disgusting!
-Peggy Sue!
-Don't be silly. It's Saturday. Date night!
-And we're here on the couch...
-We're here on the sofa bed...
-Charlie...
-Come on Peggy. Say what we rehearsed.
-But you love me don't you?
-Yeah. Come on Charlie, turn it off.
-There's something pathetic parked in front of my house.
-Come off it, Peggy. And what do you mean your house? This is my house. I paid for it, I'm still paying for it.
-I'm still waiting for the mortgage check.
-I mailed it to you on Wednesday.
-Well, today's Saturday and it's still not here.
-You got a Tab?
-You don't want them? They're going to make a big comeback any minute. Mark my words, these lamps are going to...
-I know. Put Scott through college.
-Are you taking Janet to the reunion tonight?
-I vant to suck your blood. I also vant to suck your Twinkie.
-Charlie! Am I dead?
-How do you feel?
-Not now, Charlie. I've got a headache. Get used to the word. Roll it around your tongue for a years.
-You drive like a maniac!
-I call this the staccato.
-Not that I'm glad you were sick, but I had a chance to do some thinking last night.
-Oh yeah?
-You know. About what we said on Tuesday. It makes a lot of sense.
-Refresh my memory.
-How could you forget? We talk about seeing other people and you forget?
-Maybe I blocked it out.
-It's not going to be forever. I figure three years is long enough. I can see it the music pans out. And right after graduation we should start seeing other people. Kind of comparison shop before we settle down and get married. Know what I mean?
-Why wait?
-Well, we got the prom coming up, all these parties. We shouldn't upset our parents?
-Want me to drive you home later?
-Would you?
-Looking good out there.
-Thanks.
-I noticed you were giving me the silent treatment at lunch. I guess I deserved it. I've been thinking about my three year plan and I think it's unworkable. I must have been delirious.
-I thought it had a lot of merit.
-In the abstract maybe. Get a grip on yourself! But when I imagine you going out with other guys, I feel... ah...
-Rejected, worthless, miserable.
-Yeah. Like that.
-Where did you get that sweater?
-Great, isn't it?
-It's really Fifties. You sort of clash with the world.
-Hey! What's the fun of being a teenager if you can't dress weird? And we're going to have fun tonight, right?
-Right. I promised my mother.
-Is this slow enough for you?
-Charlie, how are you?
-I'm fine Peggy Sue. And how are you? Are we talking on the phone? Are we pen pals?
-Charlie, what do you think of Richard Norvik?
-Is he gonna help you with that physics stuff?
-He's trying.
-Hey! Who needs physics when we've got chemistry?
-There isn't a girl in school that can hold a candle to you..
-You're pretty charming when you want to be.
-Mmm. This is nice. I always loved the way you kiss. I missed you.
-Your eyes look like silver pools of moonlight. And the tide rushes in.
-You really love me, don't you?
-You know I do. I even wrote you into my will.
-Charlie, let's make love.
-What?! You mean sex?! Intercourse? You want to have intercourse! Last weekend you said... What time is it?
-A lot's happened since last weekend.
-But you're the one who wanted to wait till we got married. And you were right. We should wait.
-I probably meant it when I said it. Doesn't Lucky Chuckie want to come out?
-You know. Your love machine... the throbbing thrill hammer... your thing!
-This is a mistake. We better forget it.
-I'm sorry Charlie.
-What do you know about classical music?
-Nothing.. Selling is selling.
-Charlie. About last nights..
-Forget it. I've been thinking. Girls must go through that stuff too. Sometimes when I look at you I feel like an animal. Maybe my dad's right. Teenagers are nuts.
-But I'm not. I'm a grown woman with a lifetime of emotional experiences you couldn't possibly understand.
-Yeah, I know. Girls mature faster than guys. But last night, I was the one who put on the brakes. And you know why?
-Because nothing else matters. That's the great thing about love. Every time we argue, every time something goes wrong, and I know that I'm not perfect either, things just work out better in the end. Cause you're my baby and I love you.
-What am I going to do with you?
-Charlie. I just had the strangest dream.
-What are you doing here?
-I want to know what's going on. Dolores told me that you and that scuzzball Michael Fitzsimmons...
-I bumped into him after you dropped me off Last night. I didn't feel like going home, so we went for a ride.
-Then it's true, dammit! I had a miserable time tonight 'cause of you. When the Monotones did "Book of Love —— Chapter Four you break up, won't you give it just one more chance..." I'm thinking Did we break up? 'Cause if we did, I don't even know about it!. I thought we cleared all that up yesterday. Did that Maynard G. Beatnik give
-You know I never could stand your sarcasm.
-You're going to blow it, Peggy Sue. Nobody treats Charlie Bodell like this.
-And why do you always refer to yourself in the third person, like Napoleon? How come it always turns into an argument with you?
-Look, I've got the hair, got the eyes, got the teeth, I got the car. I'm the lead singer, I'm the man.
-Charlie,. I've been trying to postpone this. But what's the point? It's over. I don't want to hurt you. This is very hard for me. I'm doing this for both of us. I really want you to be happy.
-I will be happy if I have you. I love you.
-That won't make any difference. We just can't live together. And you had the nerve to drive up with that bimbo Janet.
-What are you talking about? Who's Janet?
-I just can't trust you anymore.
-What about everything I said to you this afternoon...
-That's just it. You can always get to me. There's this window in my heart and every time I leave it open, you climb in. Unless I close it now, nothing's ever going to be different!
-But what has to be different?
-Everything. I have a good head for business, I should be franchising the bakery. And I want you to give me your word that whatever happens, you'll go to college. And finish.
-What! What about the group and my singing career? What about me?
-I'm trying to save you years of frustration... waiting for a big break... no. Waiting for that big disappointment so you could blame it all on me.
-What're you doing here?
-I wanted to talk to you, and I have one last thing to take care of at school. Then I'm going to... Good dog, Rusty. Good dog.
-Oh. I guess I always liked Rusty better. Could you give me a ride to school?
-Sorry, the Blue Thunder's out of commission for a while.
-Well, how about a walk, Charlie Bell..
-How'd you know about that?
-I was at Lena's last night. You were terrific.
-Not terrific enough. What were you doing in that part of town? Who were you with?
-What were You doing there? You never told me you were singing with an R and B group.
-I'd forgotten how much music meant to you.
-That's real big of you.
-Stop being defensive. I want to help you. I wrote a song for you.
-Not exactly, but with your great voice, it'll be a huge hit. Honest.
-Fat chance. You know, Lee Wilkins came to hear me last night. He told me to forget it. You told me to forget it. My parents tell me to forget it.
-Just take a look at it.
-Does this mean you like me again?
-It means I care about you and what happens to you.
-Forget it, it'll never work.
-What the hell did you do that for? What are you doing here?
-I was trying to save you. They were going to vaporize you.
-Don't be ridiculous! They're just a bunch of harmless old men. My grandfather was in there.
-Let me got! Where are you taking me?
-Look. I wanna tell you. I forgive you for everything. I know what you've been going through. You're just scared. I was scared, too, but I'm not anymore.
-What do you mean you and my father decided? Who the hell are you to plan my life? Let's get married and live happily ever after. Bullshit. I got knocked up. I had to marry you. I never had a choice.
-What?
-You betrayed me, Charlie. You were never there for me or the children. And now you come and tell me, "Peggy, you're scared." Of course I'm scared. If you knew what I knew you'd be scared shitless.
-You're crazy! You're really out of your mind!
-Will you take me back to my grandparents?
-Oh, Charlie.
-I love you.
-I think we should get out of here. It's going to rain.
-Do you think anybody in the Fifties ever made love on a bed?
-Peggy! Where're you going? Come back!
-I've got to go now.
-But I love you. I'll love you forever.
-I'll love you, too, Charlie. I'll love you for twenty years.
-Come back to me.
-. Peggy Sue, I love you, and I need you Peggy Sue...
-Charlie? Was I dead?
-I thought you were...for a while.
-You look awful, like you haven't slept in days. And so old.
-But happy. Very happy, Peggy Sue.
-Charlie, I thought I knew everything about you.
-I wanted to apologize. I can't live without you.
-What about Janet?
-It couldn't be me. I hardly knew him.
-Charlie, I had a strange experience. I went back to high school. And I spent a lot of time with you. And you and Walter and Leon were singing "I Wonder Why".
-Oh, God, Dion.
-You were terrific. And I kept trying to push you away but you wouldn't give up.
-I'll never give up.
-I loved you since the day I met you, and I haven't stopped.
-Don't try to charm me, Charlie Bodell.
-Hello, Charlie.
-Hello, sir. How are things at the hat store?
-Yes, sir.
-Yes, sir. But that's what I like about her. She's not like all the other girls at school.
-Charles, in spite of your adolescent infatuation with music, we've always regarded you a a fine young man. We've trusted you with our daughter.
-We think this party might cheer her up. Just make sure you know what's expected of you.
-What would that be, sir?
-Show her a good time, but for God's sake restrain yourself.
-Did you study for the test?
-Carol and I saw you with that creep, Richard, today.
-First of all, Richard is not a creep. He happens to be an exceptional person. If any of you gave him half a chance, you'd find that out.
-God, Peggy, you're so unformed you're practically fetal. You're just taking pity on him 'cause he has no friends.
-Dolores, can't you be a little kinder to people? You don't even know the boy. If you weren't so neurotic and insecure, maybe you'd shut up for a while and show some compassion.
-Are you for real?
-Sorry. These fountain pens are so tricky.
-Oh! You did that on purpose! I hate you. Go gargle with razor blades!
-I beg your pardon?
-Take a long walk on a short pier.
-Hey Terry, what is that? Did Peggy make it up? I've never seen that on Bandstand.
-Terry, slow down.
-Okay.
-Terry! Slow down.
-There's Peggy with Michael Fitzsimmons.
-That commie beatnik? What's she doing with him? Wait'll I tell Charlie.
-Fine. ) Grandma, would you teach me how to make strudel?
-You know, Peggy Sue, your mother said you had a dream that I died.
-I wish she hadn't.
-If you believe it, darling, then I believe. Being young can be just as confusing as being old. The things that happened to me fifty years ago are more on my mind than what happened yesterday.
-But I'm remembering the future.
-Right now you're just browsing through time. Choose the things you'll be proud of. The things that Last.
-It was my idea, Grandma. I always wondered what went on at those lodge meetings.
-It was Beth's idea.
-Beth's boyfriend is playing in the band.
-Don't get your hopes up.
-How come we're your best friends and we had to find out about you and Michael Fitzsimmons from Dolores?
-Yeah. He's so cool and mysterious.
-Cool it kids. He's free to see other girls, if he wants.
-But I always thought that you would marry Charlie, Carol would marry Walter, and I would marry Arthur. We'd all live on the same street and take our kids to the park together and have barbecues every Sunday. It'll spoil everything if you and Charlie break up. That Michael doesn't look like the barbecue type.
-I was impressed with what you said in English class today.
-Gilfond's okay, except he thinks Hemingway's great Literature.
-You don't?
-He's a fisherman! The most overrated writer of the century. I mean, he's the perfect American author — fat, violent, drunk...
-Maybe you're confusing his life with his work.
-The young man leaned back in his chair. No bulls would die today.
-What're you doing here anyway?
-Coffee and a donut.
-I thought chicks like you traveled in packs.
-This is great reefer.
-Yeah. I'm surprised. It's really old... Travels well though. You know, the world looks a lot better from up here.
-The world is fantastic. It's the ultimate absurd circus. I am shot from a cannon into the energy.
-What are you shooting for?
-Maximum intensity. Yeah. I can't wait to get out of here. I'm gonna write. I'm gonna check out of this bourgeois motel. Push myself away from the dinner table and say 'No more Jell—O for me, Mom.'
-Don't you get along with your parents?
-The only thing my father digs is cold, green money. All my mother cares about is her standing at the country club.
-They care about you. They're just a different generation.
-Hey what's with you? I thought you were cool. You rode my bike. You blew some pot. What's your scene Miss Majorette? You gonna marry Mr. Blue Impala and graze around with all the other sheep for the rest of your life?
-A ray of oneness piercing the solitude. Falling bodies in the ecstasy of flesh. You'll be a chapter in my memoirs of desire.
-Is that one of your poems?
-No, I just made that up. Do you want to hear one?
-I'd love to.
-That was quite an evening. Bourgeois, phony, decadent, stupid.
-Five more weeks of school. And ten minutes past graduation I'm gone. To freedom.
-For everyone.
-Now listen, this is the plan. As soon as school is finished we go to Utah and...
-Utah? I thought you'd be going to New York or Paris. What's in Utah?
-Rita. I met her last summer. She's cool. You'll really dig her. She's got this great little cabin in the hills, just outside of Provo where she raises chickens. I'll write and the two of you can take care of the chickens to support us.
-I can't do that.
-Why not? Polygamy's legal in Utah.
-But what about the other night? We were like two stars in the same constellation.
-Michael, you and I are light years apart. You should go, but not with me.
-But we had heat baby. Passion! Fire! We owe it to ourselves to fuse together. At least one more time.
-That's a terrific line. You're going to be a wonderful writer.
-You think so?
-Yes. We had a glorious night together. One day you'll remember and write about it.
-It's Charlie!
-Ssh. He's great.
-I thought I knew everything about him.
-I can dig you being uptight about Rita and Utah. That's cool. But I've got to warn you about something.
-What?
-Young lady, you're drunk!
-Just a little. I've had a tough day.
-I don't see the humor in this. Go to your room immediately. You're grounded.
-Dad, I never knew you had a sense of humor.
-Thank you.. I accept your apology with the hope that what went on yesterday will never happen again.
-That would be impossible.
-You're so young, this is not the time to start acquiring bad habits.
-If all the kids jumped off a bridge, would you do that too?
-Damn that Charlie I
-It's not Charlie. It's me.
-Peggy, let me ask you something. You're not... expecting are you?
-At my age? Don't be silly.
-Thank God for that.
-Dad.. it's not a big deal. Didn't you ever stay out all night when you were young?
-Yes but I was a boy. And I still had hell to pay.
-Calm down. Just listen for a minute.. Please.
-All right. But this better be good.
-I want to help with the family finances. I want you to buy some stocks. And gold. By 1980 gold is going to be worth eight hundred dollars an ounce. Then you sell.
-Do you know how ridiculous you sound? First of all, it's illegal for U.S. citizens to buy gold. And in the second place, the price of gold is regulated by the government.
-I think they're going to deregulate it.
-That's your problems The more women think, the more trouble they get into.
-Oh boy, that's another thing that's going to change. Who's going to think for us? Our husbands? You know, you treat Mom like a maid. It's not entirely your fault. Those were the attitudes in the fifties, and that's the way you raised me. But give Nancy a break, encourage her to go to art school.
-I've heard just about enough of this lunacy! Go to your room!
-Listen Dad, please. Buy IBM, buy Polaroid, buy Apple Computer. No, no. Not yet. Buy Xerox!
-Hi, Dad.
-For me?
-I closed my Christmas club.
-Good, you got your money out of that greedy bank.
-I wanted to apologize for this morning.
-It's hard to believe you're going to be eighteen. Want an eskimo pie? Or a creamsicle? I'd come home from the store and there's little you running up to me. I'd give you a dime and you'd promise never to grow up.
-Quiet today?
-This morning was good.
-The hat business is in trouble.
-I, that what all that nonsense was about this morning? You're worried about my business?
-Yes.
-That's very thoughtful, honey. It's just a slump. Things will pick up.
-But when John F. Kennedy's elected President, men'1l stop wearing hats.
-Kennedy's a Catholic. He'll never win.
-He'll win.
-Ta da! Pantyhose! The death of the garter belt! Of course, once they're manufactured they'll look better than this. What do you think?
-That's all well and good, but we don't have the money to manufacture them.
-You mean to tell me that you invited this Mr. Fitzsimmons over to talk about investing his money in your cockamamie idea?
-How did it go with the pantyhose?
-It's the darndest thing. Ed knew what they were immediately. As a matter of fact, he said he's got a product like that in development right now.
-Oh no!
-Oh, you're both so naive.
-Jack, take it easy. She gave blood at school today. Maybe she's just a little light—headed.
-A new car. We can't afford a new car.
-Don't worry, it's just a seasonal slump.
-I don't need your charity. I don't need your grandmother's jewelry or your parents money -—how could you do that?
-Does everybody have to hear?
-Jack, I was just trying to help.
-Peggy Sue, watch your mouth.
-Mom!
-I have a note.
-How do you feel?
-I'm excused.
-Why don't you go lie down for a while.
-Chanel Number Five. That always reminds me of home.
-Of course, dear. You're home now.
-My little baby. Don't try to grow up so fast.
-What happened to your hair? You have such a pretty face. Why are you always trying to cover it up?
-You're looking pretty chipper this morning.
-When did you start drinking coffee?
-Oh yeah. Charlie. How am I going to handle him?
-What's the matter? Did you two have a fight?.
-Sort of.
-What about?
-Who was that man?
-It was nobody. Ah... he's a poll, taker. I'm thinking of voting Democrat this year. But don't mention it to your father. How was school today?
-Would you get that, dear?
-Peggy! What's the matter? Who is it?
-What happened to you?
-I had a dream that Grandma died.
-Well, she is getting on, but she's fine. I told her you weren't feeling well yesterday. She called to find out how you are.
-She did? I love her so much, and I haven't seen her in such a long time. And Grandpa Barney. Is he all, right?
-Yes, he's fine, too. You saw them at Easter.
-I'm sorry, Mom. I'll call Grandma back and apologize.
-That's a good girl... I hate to see you so upset. Tell me, sweetheart. Are you having problems with Charlie? You mentioned something this morning.
-Is Charlie pressuring you to do things you don't think you should be doing?
-What do you mean?
-Charlie's downstairs. Why aren't you ready?
-For what?
-Maddy's party.
-I don't feel very festive.
-Where have you been?
-I'm not the maid!
-Would they go over my girdle or under?
-Isn't that awfully forward?
-You know, dear, I think the pantyhose is a wonderful idea, but the next time you come up with something, please don't stay out all night. Just tell us. We'll believe you.
-No, just a friend of mine. I don't think he Likes Jell—O.
-What does Charlie think about that?
-You know Mom, it's okay to have male friends. Besides, it's over with me and Charlie.
-What? When did it happen? Your dad and I always expected you two to get married.
-Sheerotards. Catchy name, isn't it? Like leotards.
-What are you doing?
-I'm just happy to see you.
-Come on! Mom said you were sick. You're never happy to see me.
-I'm sorry about that. I really want us to be closer. I have enough unresolved relationships in my... life.
-Teenagers are weird. And you're the weirdest.
-Let's do something together.. Do you want to play Monopoly? Or Careers... Clue... Snakes and Ladders?
-It's unbelievable. The man never ages.
-Look at Kenny Rossi. Isn't he dreamy? I wish he'd break up with Arlene. She thinks she's so great.
-Don't eat the red ones.
-Why not? They're my favorite.
-And the butter.
-Mom, sit down for a minute. This is so nice, all of us being together again like this.
-You think this'll cheer Dad up?
-I remember that dress.
-I remember when you got that locket, too. You were so excited I think you showed it to the whole school.
-What's up?
-I think you should give up diving. It's dangerous.
-Don't be silly, I'm the best in the county.
-I know you are, but you have to stop. I couldn't tell you before, I didn't know if I should. But you have to stop before you hurt yourself.
-I spend three hours a day practicing. I have trainers, I know what I'm doing.
-But accidents can happen.
-Not to me they don't. I'm going to win the State, then the. Nationals, and then I'm going to the Olympics.
-Rosalie, please, listen to me! You have to stop.
-Are you Peggy Sue Kelcher?
-I was once. Richard!? Richard Norvik? I didn't recognize you.
-You look exactly the same.
-Hello. Nice to meet you. Please call me Peggy. I'm Peggy Bodell now.
-Where's Charlie? I was in town about a year ago and caught one of his commercials. Really made me laugh.
-He's not here. We're getting divorced.
-The only time people like Dolores used to pay any attention to me was to laugh at me or insult me. That guy, Doug Snell, who shook my hand when we walked in, he used to call me a four—eyed worm.
-Well, you showed them. You're rich and famous and successful. And you have a beautiful wife.
-You were always friendly to me. I appreciated that. You know, this used to be a fantasy of mine.
-What was?
-Dancing with you.
-You're a sweet man, Richard.
-I guess part of us never really leaves high school.
-Congratulations on the math contest, Richard.
-I have to talk to you. It's very important.
-I'm not doing any tutoring this year. I'm too busy.
-It's not that. Can we meet after school? Please?
-What a great kite.
-I'm writing a book on kite construction. What did you want to talk about?
-I want to ask you a question. Do you think...time travel is possible?
-Are you doing some kind of science project?
-Sort of.
-And then, there's Richard's Burrito.
-What's that?
-That's my own theory based on a Mexican food called the burrito. I had it once when my parents took me to Disneyland.
-I know what a burrito is.
-Well, I think time is like a burrito. Sometimes it just folds over on itself and one part touches the other.
-What's inside?
-You can till it with whatever you want. From illusions to memory, from experience to innocence, from happiness to the entire universes
-So you think time travel is possible? For people?
-Absolutely. People, dogs, elephants.
-Listen, you've gotta keep this a secret. You can't tell a soul. Promise?
-Okay. I promise.
-This is serious. Nobody can know. Ah, I've returned from the future. I traveled back here 25 years.
-You have a blind grandfather. One day you're going to invent a machine that reads books for blind people. I read about it. You're going to be famous. You're going to invent a lot of things.
-How, did you know about my grandfather?
-Because I'm telling you the truth. I know what's going to happen. There's going to be test tube babies and heart transplants. And an American named Neil Armstrong is going to walk on the moon. On July 20, 1969.
-But when did you leave? Are you here until then? Were you there until now? What direction are you going in? Are you a moving point on an infinite line extending into the past? Can anyone do it?
-I'd be very careful if I were you. You don' t want to fall into the clutches of some madman with plans to manipulate your brain.
-That's why I was getting a divorce.. What I really think is that I had a heart attack at the reunion and died.
-You look pretty good for a corpse.
-Come on, Richard, I'm serious.
-You're giving me the creeps.
-Am I dead or not?
-What're you doing?
-Okay, you're not dead, but according to every law of science what you say happened to you is impossible.
-You're a molecule in chaos, a discontinuent aberration. Maybe you've just got powers of precognition. Well, maybe you're just out of whack.
-I told you, I've already lived my life. I don't know how or why I'm here, but you have to help me get back. I want to get back to my real life!
-All right, I'll work on it, I'll, do some research. But in the meantime, don't get crazy.
-I'm trying. I'll see you tomorrow.
-The way I see it, you have an unparalleled opportunity to become the richest woman in the world.
-I'm just not the type. Besides, I want to get out of here.
-But you have a vision. Don't you want to help your parents?
-I tried to tell them, but they wouldn't listen to me.
-I'm talking about invention, no investment. I know what people think of me. Mr. Spasmatician. Dick the Square Root. I'll show them. You said I was going to be a millionaire. And you're gonna help!
-Richard, take it easy.
-No offense, but for a person who says she's lived an extra lifetime, you certainly are thick. Money is power.. Money makes people respect you...
-How come you never ask me any important questions? Don't you wonder if there's going to be a nuclear war? Or a cure for cancer? What about your family? What about people?
-I'm curious, but I don't want to know. Jeez, I hope you haven't been telling people what's going to happen to them.
-Give me some credit, will you?
-Good. You're discreet. I like that in a partner.
-Wbat're you talking about?
-Look it's very simple. You tell me everything that hasn't been invented yet, and I'll invent it. We'll be partners. Fifty—fifty.
-You're taking advantage of a minor.
-Ah. This is a biggie. Forget sneakers. Running shoes, jogging shoes, tennis shoes. Fifty to two hundred dollars a pair.
-Come on. You can't be serious.
-There are major fortunes to be made here. Leisure time and life—styles.
-Are you talking ~about exercise? Like gym?
-You don't have to use pig Latin! Nobody could possibly know what we're talking about.
-All right. These are the choices: microwave ovens, pocket calculators, Walkmans, digital watches and miniature TV's.
-Richard! They don't have any! They never heard of them! Isn't that wonderful?
-What are you talking about?
-The wave of the future! I've decided on our first fortune! I'll see you later. You just think high tech.
-Hi, Richard.
-What are you doing?
-Jogging. I was running, now I'm jogging.
-That's what you were talking about yesterday? Everybody does that in the future?
-Yep. It's going to be a law. I broke up with Charlie last night.
-That's terrific. You did it. You really changed the course of your destiny.
-It was an unfair fight. He didn't have a chance. I'm taking a real gamble. I loved him for a long, long time.
-Cheer up. Now you can give some other guy a shot. Make it up to him later and buy him a yacht.
-For God's sake, forget the money! I'm going crazy! I'm a walking anachronism. I'm a puddle of deja I'm worried about my kids, Scott must be scared to death, I think my daughter's doing drugs again. I can't have any fun here, I don't have that innocence any more. I can't keep all this in anymore. I feel Like I'm going to explode.
-Look, the best scientific mind in this country is working on your case. May I make a suggestion?
-Like what?
-Suggestion! Hypnotic suggestion! Why didn't I think o~ that before?
-What do you know about hypnosis?
-Everything. This is perfect. The subconscious mind remembers all. You can give me more information on microchips and then pinpoint what happened at the reunion. Maybe that'll give us a clue on how to get you back.
-Look, I'm desperate. I'll try anything. But what if you can't snap me out of it?
-You are completely relaxed. When I count to three, you will open your eyes. One... two... three. We'll start with something easy. What is your name?
-Peggy Sue Kelcher. Or, Peggy Bodell. I'm not sure.
-Oh boy. Peggy, what are microchips?
-Ah..... they're very tiny... they look like a fingernail made out of an erector set...
-What will they be made of?
-I think it's called silicon. Charlie told me that.
-Silicon is from sand.
-In the future, will you have to marry a girl before you have sex with her?
-No. The Pill will change all that. Then he wouldn't have blamed me. We were just too young.
-You mean you'll give a girl a pill and she'll want to have sex?
-No. The Pill will be for birth control. But girls do like sex. Maybe not the first time.
-Will you take of f your blouse?
-No! Yes! I'll be right out, Dad. Oh shit! Peggy, I'm going to snap you out of it.
-I couldn't help it —— I loved him.
-Richard! You should be ashamed of yourself.
-Me? You went crazy! You started taking your clothes off. I was putting them back on for you.
-That's just perfect isn't it? Did it work? Did you find out why I came back?
-I think it has something to do with your birthday. You were rambling. I didn't understand the rest.
-Hey! Do you have any idea how much those beakers cost? I usually charge for hypnosis.
-What's the matter?
-It's all, gone wrong, nothing's working out.
-Not true. I think I'm making real progress on the microchip.
-I came to say goodbye.
-Goodbye? Where're you going? What about our partnership? I'm making real progress with the microchip.
-You were meant to You're one of those fortunate people that good things happen to.
-So are you. You've got a vision.
-Vision? I'm a walking anachronism! I've upset my parents. I miss my kids. I could be trapped here forever! And poor Charlie...I got pregnant on my 18th birthday and we had to get married. Tomorrow's my birthday! I've got to get out of here now.
-Did you break up with Charlie?
-Yeah, yeah. I'm taking a big gamble. I've loved him for a long, long time.
-Okay. Why don't we do something visionary. Change your destiny, Peggy Sue. Change your destiny and marry me.
-No! No! No! Peggy Sue got married! Case closed. I don't want to marry anybody. Goodbye Richard.
-Wait! I'll go with you!
-Why are you bothering me about this? Can't you leave it be?
-...the pathologist... he said that you had reported a similar incident... with a cat...
-The Creed cat, that's right. Bastard's name was "Church". Let me guess. Your dog's tissue isn't healing, pupils aren't dilating... maybe you can't find a heartbeat?
-You want some advice, friend? You get in your car, you pick up your family... and you get the hell out of that town.
-Believe what you saw, Matthews. The dog was dead.
-Did she always have reporters following her around like this?
-I hear you moved into town.
-That's Renee alright.
-When I was young I thought cats were the girls and dogs were the boys.
-Thee facial lacerations should heal up pretty quickly. I'll give you som antibiotic cream--
-I hear you've got Marjorie Hargrove working for you now.
-I was building a doggy door.
-What?
-I don't know what you expected to find, Matthews. There's nothing wrong with the antigens, nothing to indicate an unusual death...
-Wait, there must be some mix-up. He was... the dog is alive.
-You took over for Doctor Yolander?
-Yes... why?
-Is something wrong?
-I'm real excited about working for you Mr. Matthews...
-Out?
-He's probably going up to the Pet Sematary. Kids've been going out there on Halloween night for years.
-What do they do up there?
-What happened to you?
-I had a little run-in with Zowie.
-I hope he doesn't have rabies.
-How long ago did this guy retire?
-What's wrong?!
-What's a lunch cost these days? You want ten?
-You nervous? New town, new school. I know it must be pretty hard for you...
-Hey! How was your first day at school?
-What?
-I think so.
-Your Mom and I loved each other, Geoff. Don't ever think that we didn't.
-Who was that?
-Hey! Where're you off to?
-Just out.
-"Out." Well that's great, Geoff. Look, I've been letting you get away with a lot these past few weeks, but I'm not going to stand for crap like this. I don't care if it's Halloween... it's a school night, and if you do this again...
-Geoff, dinner's ready! Geoff?!
-What are you talking about?
-Geoff, this is crazy. Zowie didn't die.
-All set?
-So where're we going?
-Damn dog stuck his nose in on my rabbits and they ganged up on him. I swear that dog's an idiot.
-Drew, I don't remember inviting Zowie in for dinner.
-Not that much appreciation. I thought we were gonna tone down that flabby ass.
-Your momma's worried sick over you. You take off in the middle of the night, you don't show up for school. What're you trying to prove?
-Zowie...
-What's his name?
-I've never seen anybody punch Clyde before.
-He pissed me off.
-I swear, sometimes I wish Gus was dead...
-You shouldn't ever say that about your parents, not even your Dad.
-What was all that stuff about dead people coming back to life?
-Is this a good spot?
-I'm not burying him here...
-Why not?
-This is it... I wasn't sure if it even really existed.
-What did?
-Come on, that's just a bullshit story. You said so yourself...
-What if it's not bullshit? If I bury Zowie there, and it works... ...he'll come back alive.
-Drew, I know your dog died, but... get a grip, man, you're freaking me out.
-You want me to help?
-I've never had anyone die before... ...but I guess you get over it. I mean, eventually...
-It's getting pretty late. We better go.
-Maybe he wasn't dead when we buried him.
-You think my Dad'll figure out why he's not getting better?
-How can he not have a heartbeat?
-It's weird...
-What do you mean?
-What was that all about? You think he's trying to scare us?
-Do you think everyone that came back would be like Gus?
-I don't know... ...maybe it depends on what you were like before you...
-I gotta go back and do my chores...
-You ever think about running away?
-Geoff? Anybody see my boy?
-How long have you been here?
-How did it go with your father last night?
-Good. He said he'd be over for dinner at eight... I mean... he misses you, Mom...
-I know, Mom.
-Mom...
-Are we interrupting, Andy?
-In a word, Bob...
-If MacroSystems wins, an energetic, young company will be destroyed, five thousand Americans will be out of work. Moreover, the laws of copyright and anti-trust were enacted to prevent exactly the kind of bullshit Macrosystems is trying to pull.
-Andy, do you know who reps Kronos Inc.?
-Yes!
-Jesus.
-I don't know what to do, Bob.
-What in God's name... ?
-Bob...
-What's wrong with your face?
-What's wrong with my face? You want to know what's wrong with my face? I've got a skin condition. Next question, Bob? No more questions? Fine. Now can you help me find the complaint?
-Allright. Calm down.
-What was the file name?
-K-R-O-one.
-Do you really think so, Andy?
-Why, Beckett?
-Thanks, Walter.
-What's that on your forehead, pal?
-You're right, I probably just misfiled...
-This time. What about next time?
-Perhaps... you're right. I've certainly been busy. With the Kronos complaint, a preliminary injunction hearing and the Saunders trial all falling at the same time...
-Some people think you have an attitude problem, Beckett.
-Excuse me, Charles. With all due respect... this is... preposterous! It doesn't make any sense, it sounds as if we're talking about someone else. Pardon the lack of humility, but I've had the distinct impression I was kind of... one of the rising stars around here. And I feel that wasn't just my imagination. And I also think I deserve to know what's really
-Thanks, you guys.
-Aren't you giving an exam?
-I almost didn't make it to the bathroom, Miguel. I almost lost control right in front of everybody.
-It could be parasites, an infection...
-Don't apologize for me.
-That's the third time. I better call the office. Would you relax, please?
-Why are you getting dressed?
-Thanks for leaving school, and coming here, and... I will be back. An hour, tops.
-You're going to the office?!
-You're leaving the hospital? You're going into the office looking like that? Are you insane?
-One hour!
-Drew!
-Jerk... What did you say?
-You got that right, Mikey... You still believe that, don't you?
-Hold still. Shit. The goddamn vein's clotted. We have to go the goddamn hospital, so they can change the goddamn catheter.
-I have too much work to do. Skip the treatment.
-We're not skipping this treatment.
-I said, skip it, Michael. It's my treatment.
-Fuck you.
-Fuck you. This shit's probably not doing me any good anyway.
-What's wrong with you?
-Close the law book.
-I'm not going to close the--
-ALLRIGHT IT'S CLOSED! Jesus!
-The least you can do is look at me, while I'm sticking this shit into your arm. Forget the fucking case, one hour a day, and give me a little of your time.
-You don't think there's much time left, do you?
-That's not what I said.
-You're scared. You think we're near the end.
-No.
-Maybe I should start making plans, is that what you think? Start planning my memorial service? "Begin to prepare for the inevitable."
-Maybe you should think about it.
-What's that mean?!
-Maybe you should think about it.
-I'm not going to die.
-That's right. We're on the Positive Plan. You don't have a Fatal Disease, you have Manageable Illness.
-You want me to give up? Let this thing turn us into <u>victims</u>?
-Then, what <u>are</u> we, Drew?! The <u>winners</u>? "Ladies and gentlemen, the first prize of AIDS goes to Andrew Beckett and his lover Miguel..." Excuse me, I'm not your lover. I'm your Care Partner. FUCK!
-I'm not ready to die.
-I'm ready...
-Ready for what, baby?
-Whatever.
-It is, and it isn't, Charles. Macrosystem's new software copies all the best-known elements of Kronos' spreadsheet program. If they're allowed to sell it, Kronos will get undersold right out of business. For me, the legal principle, involved is copyright infringement.
-Thanks, Charles.
-Thanks for coming in.
-I know that, Charles.
-We've been talking it over, Andy. Your future that is... We feel that, because we respect you so much, we have to be honest with you.
-Take it easy, Walter.
-If you'd lost confidence in me, why did you give me the Kronos suit?
-I hoped the challenge would improve your performance. You could say it was a carrot.
-You can save it for the jury, Charles. I want to hear you say, under oath, in front of a judge and a jury, I'm a bad lawyer. Gentlemen. Counselor.
-Longstreet's interested in the Harrisburg deal.
-Mr. Beckett, I'm sorry...
-About my blood work?
-... meanwhile, I'd like to prepare you for a colonoscopy, so we can take a look inside.
-This is my partner. We keep records of hospital visits. Nothing personal.
-I'm trying to help your "partner." You're not a member of his immediate family, I could have you removed from the ER.
-Your Honor, since Rockwell Corp. began construction, the surrounding residential neighborhood has been enshrouded in a cloud of foul-smelling, germ-carrying, pestilent dust. My client is being forced to breathe known carcinogens daily! Other residents are coming forth on a daily basis to add their voices of outrage!
-Innocuous?
-Defined by Webster's as harmless.
-Client of yours?
-Jesus Christ, what happened to you?
-Whoa-oh! Sorry, I...
-It's okay. Can I sit down?
-New baby?
-One week old.
-Congratulations.
-Little baby girl.
-Kids are great.
-Thanks, Beckett. I'm real excited about it. What can I do for you?
-I was fired by Wyant Wheeler. I plan to bring a wrongful termination suit against Charles Wheeler and his partners.
-You want to sue Wyant Wheeler Hellerman Tetlow and Brown?
-Correct. I'm seeking representation.
-Continue.
-I misplaced an important complaint. That's their story. Want to hear mine?
-How many lawyers did you go to, before you called me?
-Nine.
-Continue.
-I was diagnosed with AIDS eight months ago. During a bout of pneumonia. I recovered quickly and was back at work in ten days. Since I was doing so well on the AZT, we decided against telling anyone about it.
-We?
-My lover and I.
-Your... lover?
-Miguel Alvarez. We've lived together for nine years.
-Continue.
-Hell, they are staring. What's that shit on your face?
-Big trouble.
-I buy that.
-The law says people with disabilities cannot be terminated, so long as they can perform the duties required by their position...
-Okay, okay... They discover you have this horrible, disgusting, terminal illness, and they panic, for any number of perfectly valid reasons. They're frightened for themselves, their families... Maybe it's the homo angle. Maybe they don't want to rub elbows with someone who's just popped out of the closet with a terminal case of acne. And how do they explain your status to the client
-Okay... They want you out. It's against the law to fire you for having AIDS, so they make you look like a fuck up. Which leads us to the mysterious, lost file.
-They sabotaged me.
-I knew you were going to say that. I don't buy it, and I don't see a case.
-Look. I know I have a case. If you don't want to take it for personal reasons...
-Thanks for your time.
-Beckett? I'm sorry about... what's happened to you. It's a fucking kick in the head.
-Oh, Beckett. How's it goin'?
-Who'd you get?
-What?
-Find a lawyer?
-I'm a lawyer. How's your baby?
-Huh? Oh. Great. She's great.
-What's her name?
-Rayisha.
-How did they find out?
-The partner who spotted the lesion, Walter Kenton, used to work for Benton, Myers, in D.C. There's a paralegal there, Maria Torres. She's had lesions on and off for three years. She says it was common knowledge around the office that her lesions were caused by AIDS.
-They didn't fire her?
-So Kenton connected the... lesion, <u>and</u> whatever suspicions he had about your personal life... to this woman, Maria... and blew the whistle on you. Suddenly you're losing files, and it's time to let you go. But, up to this point, you've been their Golden Boy, their rising star... Their behavior is... inconsistent.
-There is no relevant precedent.
-Arline decision. Supreme Court.
-One more thing, Your Honor...
-PARRTYY!
-We're friends of Beckett's.
-Beckett. You seem... better. Energized, more alive...
-I'm a law suit.
-Not bad.
-Get it?
-What do you want?
-Beer. We need to go over your Q and A.
-Excuse me, I'm having a goddamn party, is that allright with you?
-Sure. It's fine.
-No, we have to do it. But later, allright?
-You think I'm uncomfortable...
-Correct.
-You survived your first gay party intact.
-Let me tell you something, okay? When you're brought up, like the rest of us, in a place like where I was brought up, there's not a whole lot of discussion about... homosexuals. As a kid, you're taught right away that queers are weird, queers are funny, they're a danger to kids, they're afraid to fight, and they all want to cop your joint.
-Thank you for sharing that with me, Joe.
-When you refer to Wheeler, call him Charles, to show how you'd been admitted to the inner circle, you were considered one of them.
-Uh huh...
-Beckett?
-Charles. Okay. Miller?
-What?
-Then we establish how Wheeler's boys recruited you after law school...
-What have you prayed for?
-For a healthy baby. For Lisa to make it through the delivery. For the Phillies to get into the playoffs.
-There's a possibility I won't be around for the end of this trial.
-I've considered that.
-What happens?
-We proceed, representing your estate.
-I've made provisions in my will for some charities. Miguel will need a lawyer. I know it's not your area...
-I know a good probate lawyer.
-Opera?
-Want to hear my favorite aria?
-I'll look over the Q and A.
-Particularly, Charles.
-What impressed you about him?
-He was... the kind of person I thought I wanted to be.
-What kind of person is that?
-Obviously, at this time, you weren't sick.
-It's possible I was infected with the HIV virus at that time, but I wasn't diagnosed until several years later.
-A regular all-American guy?
-I suppose you could say that.
-Except... you were gay?
-I still am.
-In the years you worked at Wyant Wheeler, did you ever tell Charles Wheeler you were gay?
-No. I didn't.
-Can you explain <u>why</u> you didn't?
-Are you a good lawyer?
-I'm an excellent lawyer.
-What makes you an excellent lawyer?
-I love the law. I know the law. I excel at practicing it. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do.
-What do you love about it?
-Do you have any lesions on <u>any</u> part of your body, at this time, that resemble the lesions that were on your face at the time you were fired?
-Yes. On my torso.
-Can you see the lesions on your chest in this mirror?
-Yes.
-What do you call a thousand lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
-What?
-Excellent work, Joe. I thank you.
-I better get home. Lisa and I are having some friends over.
-Thanks for coming by.
-Rach.
-I'm late, I have to pick up Amy from her afterschool but I want to talk to you about that Hansen thing.
-I thought I was supposed to be covering for you. God, Andy, you look awful.
-Fucking Word Processing lost my Kronos complaint. Which must be filed by fucking five o'clock! If it's late, there's no case... Every problem has a solution.
-What can I do?
-You said earlier you aspired to be the kind of person who had "an adventurous spirit." Is that correct?
-Something like that.
-Do you take risks?
-In my work? Yes. Calculated risks. You have to.
-In general. Do you take risks in other areas of your life?
-Not unnecessary ones.
-What kind of movies do they show there?
-Gay movies.
-Gay <u>pornographic</u> movies?
-Yes.
-Do men have sex with each other in that theater?
-When? Approximately what year did this event take place?
-I guess it was 1984, 85.
-Were you aware in 1984 or 1985 that there was a fatal disease out there, called AIDS, and that you could contract it through sexual activity?
-It's impossible to know exactly when or how I was infected with HIV.
-But you <u>were</u> having anonymous sex in porno theaters in 1984 and 1985?
-That happened once. People weren't talking about AIDS then, the way we are now. Or safe sex.
-You'd <u>heard</u> of AIDS in 1984, 85?
-Do you need a break?
-No.
-While you were employed at Wyant Wheeler, you did everything you could to make sure no one knew you were an active homosexual, correct?
-That is <u>not</u> correct. I never lied about it.
-Did you keep a picture of your lover on your desk?
-No.
-Some do. I didn't.
-As a homosexual, one is often forced to conceal one's sexuality, is that right?
-In some situations.
-Yes.
-You could have infected him, isn't that right?
-Miguel has not been infected. As I said, we weren't aware of AIDS, then, or how it is spread.
-Really?
-You've testified the lesions on your face were visible to the people you worked with, correct?
-That's right.
-And it's your contention, that when the partners were made aware of the lesions, they jumped to the conclusion you had AIDS and fired you.
-Absolutely.
-Do you have any lesions on your face at this time?
-By the time I was fired, there were four lesions on my face, much bigger...
-Answer the question, please.
-No. I can't really see it.
-Hello?
-Andy! This is a nice surprise. How are you, hon?
-I'm fine.
-What's Dr. Gillman say?
-Gillman says I'm fine. My blood work is excellent. T-cells are up. Just a sec ... Yes, I think that would alleviate most of our concerns. My platelets look good too.
-Hi, Mom. How do you feel on your fortieth anniversary?
-Ancient. How do you think I feel? Put that thing down and give me a hug. Andrew, stop! ... He still doesn't listen.
-Where's Dad?
-Mom?
-All I know is, you got through your diagnosis fine, like a trooper. But when they fired you... you were so devastated, Andy... I don't expect any of my kids to sit in the back of the bus. Fight for your rights.
-He was losing weight. He looked kind of tired sometimes. But he was working so hard... Still, I felt something was wrong. And I can't believe <u>they're</u> saying they didn't notice anything.
-Miss Burton? Do you still work at Wyant Wheeler?
-Yes.
-Were you recently promoted?
-Yes. I'm now in charge of the paralegal department.
-Ms. Burton. You're black.
-Is that a question?
-No. Have you ever felt discriminated against, at Wyant Wheeler?
-In what way?
-Well... One time, Mr. Wheeler's secretary, Lydia, told me Mr. Wheeler had a problem with my earrings.
-Apparently, Mr. Wheeler felt they were too... "ethnic" is the word she used. She said he would like it if I wore something smaller, less garish, and... more "American."
-What did you say?
-I said my earrings <u>are</u> American. They're African-American.
-And, when lawyers break the law, when this society loses respect for the law, when that day comes, our cherished institutions will be burned to the ground, and our children and grandchildren will live like savages.
-Objection!
-Objection!
-Objection!
-We object, Your Honor. It would unfairly influence the jury.
-You had contact with someone who has AIDS, and you're worried.
-The HIV virus can only be transmitted through the exchange of bodily fluids, namely blood and semen.
-Leave that.
-We're going to draw blood.
-Why are we going to do that?
-Joe. I don't care a whit about your private life.
-The guy sat in my office! You can't get AIDS that way, right?
-Right.
-It doesn't travel through the air, by breathing, or touching, right?
-Not by touching, or shaking hands, or hugging, using the same toilet... Even kissing someone with AIDS is safe. But it there's something in your past you're worried about...
-A homosexual encounter.
-Get real.
-Unprotected sex with a prostitute.
-Uh.... No. Not really.
-Andrew Beckett represented your company in a lawsuit in 1990, is that correct?
-But, Andrew Beckett was in charge of litigation for the suit.
-That's correct.
-Were you pleased with his work?
-Mr. Laird, when I approached you about being a witness at this trial, and you agreed, you gave sworn testimony in a deposition. Is that correct?
-That's correct.
-According to the deposition, you said you were "thrilled, impressed, overwhelmed" by the quality of Andrew Beckett's work. Do you remember saying that?
-Okay, Mr. Laird. Explain this to me like I'm a four year old: Did Andrew Beckett win your lawsuit for you or not?
-We won.
-Did that thrill, impress and overwhelm you?
-It's a long way between being overwhelmed and being satisfied. A cheeseburger may be satisfying whereas caviar and champagne and roast duck and baked Alaska for dessert might be considered overwhelming. Do you agree?
-I might.
-Five months ago you characterized Andrew Beckett as caviar and now you're calling him a cheeseburger. Your standards have shifted a great deal, and I'd like to know why you've changed your mind.
-Andy. Before we begin, I'd just like to say: everyone in this room is your friend.
-Let's put it this way, Andy: your place in the future of this firm is no longer secure.
-In a word, yes.
-And I hate to rush you out of here, but...
-But he's got lots of other people's lives to ruin...
-Explain to me, if you can, Mr. Wheeler, explain this to me like I'm a ten year-old. This trial is not about a disease, is that what you're saying? <u>Not</u> about your understandable, if unfounded, fear of catching AIDS through casual contact with someone who has it? You're saying, this trial is about Andrew Beckett's character. Am I getting this right?
-Sometimes it seems like society is <u>run</u> by these kinds of people.
-What kind of people?
-Good school. What year?
-Second.
-Great.
-Would you like to have a drink with me? I just finished a game, I could use a beer. I don't pick up people in drug stores every day.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... do you think... ? You think <u>I'm</u>... ... gay?
-Aren't you?
-What's the matter with you? Do I look gay to you?
-Do I look gay to you? Relax.
-Relax? I ought to kick your faggoty little ass for you!
-Don't you know this is exactly the kind of bullshit that makes people hate you guys?
-Fuck you! You want to kick my ass? You want to try? Asshole.
-You're the asshole, buddy.
-You load the film... ? No, on this side... or this side? Don't move the baby!
-You have a problem with gays, Joe.
-How many gays do you know?
-How many do you know?
-Lots.
-Who?
-Your Aunt Teresa is gay? That beautiful, sensuous woman is a... <u>lesbian</u>?
-Duh...
-Since when?
-Probably since she was born.
-Allright. I admit it: I'm prejudiced. I don't want to work with a homosexual. You got me.
-Okay, Joe...
-I mean, two guys, doing the horizontal thing? I don't get it. Don't they get confused? "Is that mine? I thought it was yours." Hey, call me old fashioned, call me conservative... I think maybe you have to be a man to get just how nauseating the whole basic idea really is.
-Fine, Joe.
-And the way they work out, pumping up, so they can be macho and faggot at the same time... I can't <u>stand</u> that shit. Now I'm being totally honest with you.
-That's perfectly clear.
-Don't know, Joe.
-Is there some kind of expression I've picked up from Beckett?! Some kind of fairy attitude I've unconsciously adopted?! Am I walking different?! Some kind of vocal thing?! Have I picked up some kind of homo <u>vibe</u>?!
-Have you changed your aftershave?
-Joe?
-Yeah... ?
-Two men making love... ? Now tell me again... <u>why</u> is that disgusting?
-Okay, so... help me with this one, Joe... Is it disgusting for someone to put his dick into someone's mouth? Or, is it disgusting for someone to take a dick into <u>their</u> mouth?
-Did I ever tell you, I hate costume parties?
-I'll see you in an hour, max.
-Right.
-Why didn't you cross at the crosswalk?
-Yeah. Do I have a case?
-Of course you have a case! Now, I want you to go with my assistant, Iris, and fill out some forms. She'll tell you about our fee arrangement. Mrs. Finley? Any back pain since the accident? Dizziness? Nightmares?
-Now that you mention it...
-Whoa, whoa... What do you expect them to say, you're Alan Dershowitz?
-Anywhere from two weeks, to several months.
-Not when I was in the Navy.
-So during those long voyages, months at a time, out to sea, no women in sight, a hundred, hardworking, robust, young men, in the prime of their life, at the peak of their natural appetites, desires, their god- given, hormonal <u>instincts</u>... Anything going on?
-Going on... like...?
-Yeah. But we took care of him.
-How did you do that?
-You taught him a lesson.
-Yes, we did.
-<u>She</u> didn't try to conceal it.
-So you are aware of the difference between a lesion and a bruise, is that correct?
-I <u>know</u> the difference. That doesn't mean I'm always able to recognize the difference.
-But didn't you avoid contact with Ms. Torres, after you found out she had AIDS? She says you acted repulsed by her and you avoided her, is that correct?
-Attorney for the plaintiff?
-Joseph Miller, Your Honor. Macready and Shilts Legal Services.
-I've seen your television commercials. "If you or anyone you know has been injured through the fault of others... It should say, "through the <u>negligence</u> of others."
-I'll take that under consideration, Your Honor.
-If it please Your Honor, we <u>hope</u> to settle this matter.
-By God you <u>will</u> settle it! If you force this case to trial, young man, you'll regret it for the rest of your natural-born days... Now, Joseph. What would you require to settle this matter today?
-Reinstatement at full salary. Back pay covering the period of unemployment and...
-Based on what my client would have earned over the next three years, including benefits and projected raises, and the extraordinary cost of medical care for someone with Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome... We would settle today for the very fair amount of one million five hundred thousand dollars.
-In this courtroom, Mr. Miller, justice is blind. To matters of race, creed, color, religion. And sexual orientation.
-With all due respect, Your Honor... We don't live in this courtroom, do we?
-Let's continue.
-This would be a good time to break for the day...
-Your Honor? May I have ten minutes in re-direct?
-It's good to be King, hey Charles?
-Andy. It seems that something has come over you, lately: A kind of... stupor, a fogginess, a lack of focus... Earth to Andy. Anybody home?
-Julius!
-Andrew brought AIDS into our offices, into our men's room. He brought AIDS to our annual goddamn family picnic.
-Wait a minute. The man was fired for incompetence, not because he has AIDS. You didn't know he was sick, did you, Bob?
-You'll be sorry, Beckett.
-... to suit their personal desires, and the rest of us have to live with it.
-... interview every employee, support staff, associates, partners. Did <u>any</u> of them know Andy was sick? <u>How</u> did they know? Did he tell them? Did they notice something was wrong with his appearance? None of this information got to the managing partners. We know that. Make sure everyone else does too... And Beckett: I want to know everything about his personal life. Did he
-Jesus.
-What about other homosexual facilities, whatever they are?
-Charles...
-What deviant groups or organizations did he secretly belong to? What is it, Bob?!
-That's kind of... extreme, Walt. Andy's private life is none of our business.
-Bob. You're trying my patience. Andrew Beckett is making his private life our business. We gave him Kronos. Did he say, "I'm sick. I might not be able to see this through?"
-He was doing a great job.
-I've discovered something interesting, Charles.
-... keep them from that area, on grounds of relevancy. What, Bob?
-Very interesting, Bob. Let's make a note of that. Andy didn't lose the complaint in his computer. He never put it in. He lied about that, too.
-Charles...
-I didn't tell the others, I was afraid to...
-... But now, we're standing up for ourselves...
-... But we shouldn't have fired him...
-Don't wanna miss this.
-Gonna lose everybody out here....
-What? What is it?
-You came for us....
-Probably okay to talk to me now.
-Not sure where to go. I was just runnin' away when this whole thing started. Where you goin'?
-Audrey? Oh, Audrey....
-Tell me that was you.
-Okay, it was me. What'd I do now?
-Oh, Lord....
-You mean...tonight? With all those things still out there?
-Liquid oxygen canisters inside. Start ripping them out. Quick hits only -- try to make it last.
-Bottle-count.
-I didn't want you to leave me there... back at the ship...that's why I didn't say anything....
-Bring the light!
-What're they doing? What're <u>we</u> --
-Three full bottles. But almost time to refill.
-Tell me about the sounds. You told them you heard something right before.... If you don't talk to me, Johns'll take another crack at it -- at your skull.
-'Mean the whispers?
-What whispers?
-All you people are so scared of me -- an' most days, I'd take that as a compliment -- but it ain't me you gotta worry about now.
-You did this? To yourself?
-Slam doctor. Well, we called him "doctor."
-Heard about it. Just never seen it.
-Fairly fuckin' ironic, wouldn't you say? Slamlight's so dim that you go and get your eyeballs taken out and shined up -- then you wind up here. Three ass-kick suns. Maybe I did do a few people. But not this one. No ma'am, not this time.
-Then where is he? He's not in the hole. We looked.
-Power cells.
-They're coming.
-Strange, not doin' a run-up on the main drive yet. Strange unless he told you the particulars of my escape.
-I got the quick-and-ugly version.
-An' now you're worried about a repeat of history?
-Entered our minds.
-I asked what <u>you</u> thought.
-Why, what'd you hear?
-Riddick...was thinkin' we should make some kind of deal. Just in case, you know, this actually --
-Had it with deals.
-But I just wanted to say --
-Been a long time since anyone's trusted me. That's somethin' right there.
-We can, can't we? Trust you?
-Where are the sand-cat tracks? Why aren't we still following them?
-What do you see? Riddick?
-Riddick? What the hell are you --
-Canyon ahead. I circled once to buy some time to think.
-What about her?
-Back to the ship, huh?
-Get out of our way.
-How many you see?
-One or two.
-We're just here to carry your light, aren't we? Just the torch-bearers.
-As fast as you can.
-You sure you can keep --
-So where the hell's God now, huh? I'll tell you where! He's up there PISSING ON ME!
-Tell me the settlement is right there! RIDDICK, PLEASE!
-Strong survival instinct. Admire that in a woman.
-I promised them we'd go back with more light. And that's exactly what we're gonna do..
-Think you've mistaken me for somebody who gives a fuck.
-What, you're afraid?
-Confusin' me with Johns now -- fear was <u>his</u> monkey. I only deal in life and death. All that stuff in between? Some shade of grey my eyes don't see.
-<u>I trusted you</u>, Riddick. Goddamn, I trusted that some part of you wanted to rejoin the human race.
-Just come with me!
-They're already dead. Get on board.
-You're fuckin' with me. I know you are.
-'Course I am -- but doesn't mean I won't leave you here. If you believe anything about me, better be that.
-Step aboard, Carolyn.
-I can't....I can't....
-Here. Make it easy on you.
-Don't do this to me....
-Just give me your hand.
-But they...they could still be....
-You'd die for them?
-I would try for them.
-You barely know them.
-This is it? Booze? <u>That's</u> what you have to drink?
-What do my eyes see?
-Just a suggestion, but perhaps we should flee.
-Christ, you don't know what's out there!
-There....
-Like the light is scalding it.
-...one cutting torch...one handlight here, two more in the cabin...I <u>think</u> two more....
-Spirits. Anything over 45 proof burns well.
-How many bottles?
-Not sure. Ten?
-Those umbrellas, the ones that mist. Would they burn? If you got a receipt?
-Possibly.
-I hate to kill a beautiful theory with an ugly fact, but that sand-cat won't run at night.
-Let's move. Just a detour. He'll get us there.
-Can we switch?
-What, switch what?
-Hey.
-Hey, who?
-Amazing. I'm Johns.
-And him?
-Big Evil?
-We just keep him locked up forever?
-Be my choice. Already escaped once from the max-slam facility on --
-I don't need his life story. Is he really that dangerous?
-S'matter?
-A very good sign. That's Riddick's direction. You do <u>not</u> wanna be caught in the dark with this guy.
-Thought you found his restraints over there. Toward sunset.
-What?
-Probably makes it worse. Dehydrates you even more.
-No, no, I wanted to get away.
-Better keep moving....
-Hey. You can tell me, Carolyn.
-Promise me. Swear to me you won't --
-You see anybody else here? Just between you and me.
-So now you know.
-Didn't bite.
-What?
-No juice, looks like it's been laid up for years. But we might be able to adapt --
-Sorry. Thought I heard something.
-Like what?
-...I don't play that...I don't play that so just try again. C'mon, Riddick, tell me a better lie....
-He used that?
-Sir Shiv-a-lot. He likes to cut.
-So why isn't it all bloody?
-I <u>know</u> what happened -- he went off on the guy, buried him on the hill somewhere, and now he's trying to --
-Let's just be sure.
-I <u>am</u> sure. Look, murders aside, Riddick belongs in the Asshole Hall of Fame. He loves the jaw-jackin', loves making you afraid, 'cuz that's all he has. And you're playing right into --
-<u>We're gonna find the body</u>, Johns. Christ, you're a cop. Why am I tellin' you this? We gotta go down and find it.
-Well, don't ask me to.
-Thought you didn't believe his story.
-Nobody else is going down but me, okay?
-Hey. Bein' ballsy with your life now doesn't change what came before -- it's just stupid.
-What, you think I'm doin' this to prove something?
-You said it, not me. Let's just not let one bad call lead to another.
-Little ratty-ass.
-Okay, that should buy us a sys-check. But we'll need more cells.
-How many?
-15 6-gigs here...90 gigs total...other ship carries 20-gig cells, so...five. Five total to launch.
-Rag it, Riddick. Nobody wants your theories on --
-Let's board this up and get the hell gone. They seem to stick to the dark, so if we stick to daylight, should be all --
-60 years ago.
-...need those cells from the crash ship. Shit, still gotta check out the hull, patch the wings --
-Let's wait on the power cells.
-Wait for what? Until it's so dark we can't even find our way back to --
-We're not sure <u>when</u> it happens, so let's not --
-He can pilot?
-Hijacked a prison transport, made a helluva good run 'fore I tracked him down.
-Okay, maybe that's a <u>good</u> thing. Maybe I can use him to help with --
-You said we were going to trust him now. You said there was a deal.
-Oh, this is a dangerous game you're playing, Johns.
-May've noticed chains don't work on this guy. Only way we're truly safe is if he believes he's goin' free. But if he <u>stops</u> believin' --
-You mean, if he learns that you're gonna royally fuck him over.
-You know, he hasn't harmed any of us. Far as I can tell, he hasn't even lied to us. Just stick to the deal, Johns. Let him go if that's what it --
-Dancin' on razor blades here...
-You're not a real cop, are you? Just some mercenary who goes around talkin' about the law like --
-I never said I was.
-You have a little caffeine in the morning, I have a little morphine. So what?
-And here you got two mornings every day. Wow, were you <u>born</u> lucky?
-Not a problem unless you're gonna make --
-<u>You</u> made it a problem when you let Owens die like that. When you had enough drugs to knock out a fucking mule-team.
-Owens was already dead. His brain just hadn't caught on to that fact.
-My first run-in with Riddick. Went for the sweet-spot and missed. They had to leave a piece of the shiv in there. I can feel it, sometimes, pressing against the cord. So maybe the care and feeding of my nerve-endings is my business.
-Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!
-Oh, lady. If you're in your right mind, I pray you go insane.
-Look, we gotta think about everyone now -- the kid especially. How scared is she gonna be out there?
-Oh, don't use her like that, for a smoke screen.
-Smoke screen for what?
-For your own fear.
-How much you weigh, Johns?
-What the hell's it matter?
-How much?
-79 kilos.
-He'll lead you over the first cliff. You know that, don't you?
-We're just burnin' light here.
-You give him the cells and the ship -- and he will leave you. He will leave you all out there to die.
-So you noticed too?
-We aren't completely stupid.
-Hey, <u>you're</u> the one who got me out here, turned me into a goddamn sled dog. An' now you 'spect me to go back like a <u>whipped</u> dog?
-I was wrong. I admit it. My bad, okay? Now let's just go back to the ship.
-I dunno. Nice breeze, wide open spaces -- you know, I'm startin' to enjoy myself out here.
-Are you fucking high again? Just listen to --
-This does not help us, Johns.
--- she tried to blow the whole fucking passenger cabin, tried to kill us --
-Just shut up, okay?
--- tried to kill us in our sleep. Paris had it right -- we <u>are</u> disposable. We're just walking ghosts to her.
-We cannot go through there....
-It's the atmosphere. Too much pressure, not enough oxygen. Might take a few days to --
-So what the bloody hell happened, anyways?
-Well? Is it just the pump?
-Imam. We should leave soon. Before nightfall but while it's cooler.
-What, you're goin' off, too?
-Why did I fall on you?
-He's dead. Cap'n's dead. Christ, I was looking right at him when --
-I mean, I mean, chrono shows we're 22 weeks out, so gravity wasn't supposed to kick in for another 19. I mean, I mean, I mean, why did I fall <u>at all</u>?
-You hear me? Captain's dead. Owens too.
-1550 millibars, dropping 20 MB per minute, shit, we're hemorrhaging air. <u>Somethin'</u> took a swipe at us.
-Fry?
-Can't get my nose down...too much load back there....
-You mean that "load" of passengers?
-Look, Fry. Company says we're responsible for every one of those --
-Company's not here, is it?
-When captain went down, you stepped up -- whether you like it or not. Now they train you for this, so --
-Owens!
-I don't suppose....
-So quiet. You get used to the sounds of the ship, then....
-You know who Muhammad was?
-Some prophet guy?
-"Some prophet guy." And a city man. But he had to travel to the desert -- where there was quiet -- to hear the words of God.
-You were on a pilgrimage? To New Mecca?
-Chrislam teaches that once in every lifetime should there be a great hajj -- a great pilgrimage. To know God, better, yes, but to know yourself as well.
-Frightening thought.
-One is all?
-I saw the cut-marks on the bones. Wasn't a natural die-off.
-Hasan?
-They're afraid of our light. That means we don't have to be so afraid of them.
-And you're certain you can find the way back? Even in the dark?
-Imam. Slow down.
-What?
-Don't stop, just slow down. Little more space 'tween us and them.
-I would rather we all stay--
-The sled as a shield....
-Oh, no. No, no, no....
-Has anyone seen the young one? Ali?
-Well...we must keep her close, then. Here, she'll be safe if we put her between --
-Where's Mr. Johns?
-Which half?
-What're you doin'?
-Blessing you like the others. It's painless.
-And pointless.
-I see. Well, even if you don't believe in God, it doesn't mean He won't be --
-'Cuz you don't spend half your life in lock-down with a horse-bit in your mouth and not believe. And you surely don't start out in a liquor store trash bin with an umbilical cord wrapped around your neck and not believe. Oh, absolutely I believe in God. And I absolutely hate the fucker.
-He will be with us. Nonetheless.
-Suleiman!
-Get the girl back under. Keep going.
-SULEIMAN!
-New Mecca....
-Think a soul could get lost there? With all those pilgrim-types?
-For what? There is no water. You understand that, don't you?
-"God is Great," yes?
-We got you...it's okay, it's okay...we got you now....
-I had the impression...from the model... that the two planets were moving as one. That there would be...a lasting darkness.
-Oh, Trash Baby, you're gonna regret this.
-We crossed our own tracks.
-She's the captain, we should listen to --
-...then we saw this.
-King Tut's tomb....
-A toast to whatever he just said.
-What the hell are these?
-So just like that. Wave your little wand and he's one of us now.
-Well, just a skiff. Disposable, really.
-Very big beads.
-She's the pilot, she should stay close to the cells.
-Found somethin' worse than me, huh?
-Want you to remember this moment, Riddick. The way it coulda gone and didn't.
-Say that again.
-Here's the deal. You work without the chains, without the bit -- without the shivs. You help us get off this rock....
-For what? The honor of goin' back to some asshole of a cell?
-You'd cut me loose, Boss?
-My recommendation: Do me. Don't take the chance that I'll get shiv-happy on your wannabe ass. Ghost me, Riddick. Would if I were you.
-Are you fuckin' kidding me?
-I'd rather piss glass.
-Well, you got the big gauge.
-Think about that reward, Johns.
-I'm willing to take a cut in pay.
-<u>Fuck me</u>. You said "clear."
-Said "looks clear."
-Well, what's it look like now?
-Such as.
-About how to kill us and still get these cells to the skiff. Goddamnit, we're just doin' the heavy lifting for this prick!
-What're you jaw-jackin' about? Girl's not cut.
-Aw, this can't be happening to me....
-Ain't all of us gonna make it.
-Six of us left. If we could get through that canyon and lose just one, that'd be quite a fucking feat, huh? A good thing, right?
-Not if I'm the one.
-Look, it's hellified stuff -- but no different than those battlefield doctors when they have to decide who lives and who dies. It's called "triage," okay?
-Kept calling it "murder" when I did it.
-Either way, figure it's something you can grab onto.
-Sacrifice play. Hack up one body, leave it at start of the canyon. Like a bucket of chum.
-<u>Trawl</u> with it. There's a cable on the sled. We can drag the body behind us.
-Nice embellishment.
-Don't wanna feed these land-sharks -- just keep 'em off our scent.
-So which one caught your eye?
-What's her name, anyway?
-Then let's not name the Thanksgiving turkey, okay? I assume you still got a shiv.
-What, you 'spect <u>me</u> to do it?
-What's one more to you? Like <u>this</u> is the one that sends you to Hell?
-Aw, don't tell me you're growin' scruples.
-Just wonderin' if we don't need a bigger piece of chum.
-An' this?
-Blow-dart hunting stick from Papua New Guinea. Very <u>very</u> rare, since the tribe's extinct.
-'Cuz they couldn't hunt shit with these things, be my guess.
-So much for your nightfall.
-Amazing how you can do without the essentials of life -- so long as you have the luxuries.
-Not a star-jumper.
-What, you don't really think they left with their clothes on the lines? Photos on the walls?
-Maybe they had weight limits, you don't know.
-You were tryin' to kill him too.
-Take it.
-What, it's broken?
-Cornelius, if you have a moment today, I'd like to discuss this expedition of yours in more detail.
-Dr. Zaius --
-Did you forget our appointment, Cornelius?
-Oh., no., sir. I was just assembling my notes.
-You know Dr. Maximus, our Commissioner for Animal Affairs?
-He exceeded his orders. His travel permit was promptly revoked.
-How did you know we'd come here?
-I ask you to reconsider the rash course you've taken. If you're convicted of heresy, the most you'll get is two years. But if you persist in pointing guns in my direction, you'll hang for high treason.
-We've never meant to be treasonable, sir. But up there, in the face of that Cliff, is a vast cave -- and in that cave a fabulous treasure of fossils and artifacts.
-Indeed, the very fact that these tools are unknown to us could suggest a culture in certain ways almost equal to our own. Some of the evidence is uncontestable ...
-Don't speak to me in absolutes. The evidence is contestable.
-I apologize.
-A doll alone proves nothing. True. But the doll was found beside the jawbone of a man -- and no trace of simian fossils has turned up in this deposit.
-Your conclusion is premature. Have you forgotten your Scripture? The Thirteenth Scroll? 'And Proteus brought the upright beast into the garden, and chained him to a tree, and the children made sport of him.'
-No sir, I haven't forgotten.
-Seal the cave?
-Well, Taylor -- we're all fugitives now.
-Do you have any weapons?
-The best. But we won't need them.
-As you wish.
-To the diggings I worked at a year ago. It's a three day ride across the eastern desert, near where you claim you landed from that planet of yours.
-You still don't believe me, do you?
-Nothing much. The remnants of a life raft. Maybe a small flag. The emblem of my countrymen.
-Sorry, Taylor. The terrain around that lake is poisonous. There is no fresh water, no vegetation. Nothing.
-Where does the river lead?
-You've never told me why this region's called the Forbidden Zone.
-When are you going to show me what's in the cave?
-If there's any shooting, Dr. Zaius, you'll be the first to die. Depend on it.
-Taylor, you're not in command here. Put down that gun.
-Taylor, I'd rather you -
-Yes. I have to agree. From all you've found so far, his position's as good as yours.
-What are you doing there?
-That was different. We thought you were .... inferior.
-They can't convict us of that. You proved our innocence. Besides... ... his culture is our culture.
-Do you have to work tonight?
-No.
-That's Bright Eyes. The one I was telling you about.
-What's so special about him?
-Look -- she remembers.
-Remembers what?
-The blood transfusion.
-It's a stunt. Humans don't write.
-Dear, you're a scientist. Don't you believe your own eyes?
-Now, just a minute --
-'Dodge was killed in the hunt. What happened to Landon?' I don't know.
-Flight is a scientific impossibility.
-Cornelius, why do you insist on provoking him?
-'Then how do you account for me?,
-I don't. And I'm not going to try.
-But what about your theory? The existence of someone like Taylor might prove it.
-Zira, are you trying to get my head cut off?
-Don't be foolish. If it's true, they'll have to accept it.
-Cornelius has developed a brilliant hypothesis -
-It's probably wrong --
--- that the ape evolved from a lower order of primate, possibly man. In his trip to the Forbidden Zone he discovered traces of a culture older than recorded time -
-The evidence was very meager --
-You didn't think so then.
-That was before Dr. Zaius and half the Academy said the idea was heresy.
-'I am not a missing link.'
-Because if he is a missing link, it means the Sacred Scrolls aren't worth their parchment.
-Well, maybe they're not.
-No, thank you'. I won't get into that battle.
-Oh, Cornelius, show some strength!
-A toy. It floats on the air. Try it.
-How did it go?
-We'd better get started. If the mounted police pick up our trail, they'll come this far at least.
-Got your sensors?
-Yo!
-Geiger counter?
-Yo!
-One pistol... twenty-four rounds of ammo. two medical kits.. one camera... one TX9. We've enough food and water for three days.
-But how long is a day?
-Nothing will grow here .... there's just a trace of hydrocarbons, and most of the nitrogen is locked into nitrates.
-Any sign of dangerous ionization?
-No.
-Which direction?
-That way.
-Any particular reason?
-Taylor -- quit riding him.
-Where there's one there's another. And another. And another.
-Well, at least they haven't tried to bite us.
-Which one was wearing the strange clothes?
-Will he live?
-This place is dirty, doctor.
-But the quota system's been abolished! You made it. Why can't I?
-What do you mean, made it? I'm an animal psychologist, that's all. We don't have any authority.
-You do pretty well when it comes to getting space and equipment.
-That's because Dr. Zaius realizes our work has value.
-Hmph.
-The foundations of scientific brain surgery are being laid right here - in studies of cerebral function in these animals.
-Objection. The accused is indeed a man. Therefore, he has no rights under ape law.
-State your case, Mr. Prosecutor.
-There is a conspiracy afoot to undermine the very cornerstone of our Faith
-Come to the point, Dr. Honorius.
-He can reason? With the Tribunal's permission, let me expose this hoax by direct examination.
-That's true, Dr. Zaius. My witnesses -- correction -- my exhibits are on display in the amphitheater.
-Objection! These remarks are profane and irrelevant.
-Objection!
-Yes, sir. The State charges Doctors Zira and Cornelius with contempt of this Tribunal, malicious mischief and scientific heresy.
-Tell the court, Bright Eyes -- what is the second Article of Faith?
-I admit, I know nothing of your culture.
-Of course he doesn't know our culture - because he cannot think. Tell us why all apes are created equal.
-Some apes, it seems, are more equal than others.
-Ridiculous. That answer is a contradiction in terms. Tell us, Bright Eyes, why do men have no souls? What is the proof that a divine spark exists in the simian brain?
-Good morning, Dr. Zira.
-Good morning, Julius. How's our patient today?
-You could get hurt doing that, Doctor.
-Awww, it still hurts, doesn't it?
-Did you see that? It's remarkable!
-Huh?
-He's trying to form words.
-What happened?
-Those fools and their torches! Do you have any ointment?
-Get me a collar and leash. I'm taking him to the infirmary.
-He's vicious, Doctor. Besides, it's against the rules.
-Landon! Send a last signal.
-What signal?
-It's no use ... there she goes.
-Gone.
-Well? Where are we? Have any notion, skipper?
-Landon! Join the expedition.
-Sorry... I was thinking of Stewart. What d'you suppose happened?
-Air leak. Died in her sleep.
-You don't seem very cut up about it.
-It's a little late for a wake. She's been dead nearly a year.
-Then we've been away from Earth for eighteen months.
-Apart from that, you look pretty chipper for a man who's two thousand and thirty one years old. I read the clocks. They bear out Hasslein's hypothesis. We've been away from Earth for two thousand years, give or take a decade. Still can't accept it, huh?
-long pause) You know it.
-Because time has wiped out everyone and everything you cared for -- they're dust.
-Prove it. If we can't get back, it's still just a theory.
-If only we could get a fix.
-All right --
-There's only one reality left. We're here and it's now. You get ahold of that and hang on tight, or you might as well be dead.
-Straighten me out on something. Why did you come along at all? You volunteered. Why? I'll tell you. They nominated you for the Big One and you couldn't turn it down. Not without losing your All-American standing
-Climb off me, will you!
-And the glory, don't forget that. There's a life-sized bronze statue of you somewhere. It's probably turned green by now, and nobody can read the name plate. But never let it be said we forget our heroes.
-Taylor. I'm telling you --
-Okay. You read me well enough. Why can't I read you?
-Don't bother
-Dodge ... he's not like me at all. But he makes sense. Held walk naked into a live volcano if he thought he could learn something no other man knew. I understand why he's here. But you...You're no seeker. You're negative.
-But I'm not prepared to die.
-Scarecrows?
-Can we take a dip?
-No cigar.
-We got off at the wrong stop.
-Who are you?
-So you can talk. I'm Dr. Zira's nephew. This abduction was her idea. You're not really going to the zoo. That's just our cover story in case we're stopped. Although I do feel that if it ever came down to a question of whether something like you should be public or private property --
-She comes along too.
-Zira doesn't want your female.
-I want her.
-If you insist. But I'm not taking any orders --
-Shouldn't we be moving on?
-Why did you do that? Scrape off your hair?
-Sorry, Lucius. You'll have to stay here and guard the horses.
-Always giving orders. Just like every other adult.
-Not everything. They left a hostage. How do you feel, Lucius?
-Disillusioned... But vindicated! I've been right all along. You can't trust the older generation. It's a matter of values --
-All right, all right. Will You do me a favor? No orders.
-What is it?
-I want you to go around the bend and tell those gorillas their leader is my prisoner.
-They think you're behaving foolishly. I must say I agree. Where will you go?
-Lucius.
-I think you're making a mistake.
-That's the boy. Keep 'em flying.
-What?
-I told you not to bring the other one.
-He wouldn't leave her.
-Gorilla hunters ...
-Who put them up?
-The Hunt Club.
-What is that?
-A man, Dr. Maximus.
-Yes, Sir. But this -- creature is a special case.
-Why special?
-You asked for the opportunity to present your case. Surely you must know why you're here.
-My own purpose is to save this exceptional creature from mutilation.
-And our purpose is to settle custodial and jurisdictional questions concerning this beast, and determine what's to be done with him.
-Dr. Zira -- tell Bright Eyes to sit down.
-It says here that his name is Bright Eyes. You gave him that name yourself.
-This hearing is absurd! Let me tell my story...
-One is in a museum!
-You destroyed his memory! His mind! His identity! And, you want to do the same to me!
-Let it be clear at the outset that all matters pertaining to this inquiry are confidential, and anyone discussing them outside this chamber will be held in contempt of the Tribunal. You may proceed, Dr. Honorius.
-Sustained. In all fairness, Dr. Zira, you must admit the accused is a nonape, and therefore has no rights under ape law.
-ThatÕs a lie!
-Mind your tongue, madame.
-Since the defendant is forbidden to speak in his own defense, he asks that this statement be read into the record.
-Read it yourself.
-'I have come to you from a planet in a different solar system. I am an explorer in space, with no hostile intentions against your civilization. On my planet it was the primate Man who evolved Into a thinking animal, while the apes remained..."
-This is a joke in very poor taste.
-How so?
-Sustained.
-Well...do you acknowledge kinship with any of these creatures?
-With one of them.
-What about me?
-Oh, your case was preordained. In a way, you performed a service for the State ... Because your hearing made it possible for us to expose Zira and Cornelius. And now the Tribunal has placed you in my custody for...final disposition. Do you know what that means?
-No.
-However, it's within my power to grant You a reprieve. That is why I summoned you here tonight. Tell me who and what you really are and where you come from, and no veterinary will touch you.
-I told the truth at that 'hearing'of yours.
-You lied. Where is your tribe?
-My tribe, as you call it, lives on another planet in a distant solar system.
-Then how is it we speak the same language? Even in your lies, some truth slips through! That mythical community you're supposed to come from -- Fort Wayne'?
-What about it?
-A fort! Unconsciously, you chose a name that was belligerent. Where were you nurtured?
-I take it you don't believe the prosecutor's charge -- that I'm a monster created by Dr. Zira.
-Certainly not. You're a mutant.
-That's exactly what Zira and Cornelius claim. You're talking heresy, doctor.
-Of course.
-All right, suppose I am a mutant? Why does the appearance of one mutant send you into a panic?
-Because you're not unique. There was the one you call Landon --
-Then you admit --
-I admit that where there's one mutant there's probably another. And another. A nest of them. Where's your nest, Taylor? Where are your women?
-Thank you for calling me Taylor. Dr. Zaius, I know who I am. Who are you? How did this upside down civilization ever get started?
-You may well call it upside down, since you occupy its lowest level. And deservedly. The eastern desert has never been explored -- because we've always assumed that no life can exist there. Save yourself, Taylor. Tell me -- is there another jungle beyond the Forbidden Zone?
-I don't know.
-If you are protecting others of your kind, it will cost you your identity.
-I'm not protecting anybody! That hearing was a farce. What have I done?
-Stop right there.
-There is no contradiction between faith and science. True science.
-What is your proposal?
-When were the Sacred Scrolls written?
-Twelve hundred years ago.
-Very well. If Zira and Cornelius can prove that those scrolls don't tell the whole truth of your history; if they can show you definite evidence of another culture from an unrecorded past -- will you exonerate them?
-Of course.
-I don't say he was a man like an Earthman, but I'd call him a close relative, for he was plagued by most of man's ills. Yet, fragile as he was, he came before you -- and was superior to you.
-Tell him to pull back!
-Then answer this: If ran was superior, why didn't he survive?
-Then there is another jungle?
-Of course, you could return with us. Our society might find a place for you and your mate.
-Sure. In a cage.
-Where else, but in a cage, does man belong?
-Why? From the first, I've terrified you, Doctor. And in spite of every sign that I'm an intelligent being who means no harm, you continue to hate and fear me. Why?
-Because you are a man. And you were right -- I have always known about man. From the evidence, I believe his wisdom must walk hand in hand with his idiocy. His emotions must rule his brain. He must be a warlike animal who gives battle to everything around him -- even himself.
-What evidence? No weapons were found in the cave.
-The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. Your breed made a desert of it, ages ago.
-We're back at the beginning. I still don't know the why. A planet where apes evolved from men. A world turned wrong side up. A puzzle with one piece missing.
-Well, Bright Eyes, is our throat feeling better?
-Speak! Go on. Speak again.
-My - name - isn't - Bright Eyes It's Taylor!
-I'm not acting! I can talk! How much proof do you want?
-Where have you been? Why didn't you come to see me?
-Shhhh!
-What is this?
-It's him...Landon.
-Which one?
-You! ... You knew about this?
-No, I swear -- I never saw this man before.
-Listen-
-Cornelius and I have been indicted for heresy. Unless we can prove our theories, we don't stand a chance of acquittal.
-Are you going to take her with you?
-Yes.
-Actually, you're a different breed. This creature will never evolve.
-Maybe not.
-You want her that much?
-What's the diagnosis, doctor? A touch of the sun?
-And that's your Minister of Science. Honor- bound to expand the frontiers of knowledge.
-Taylor, please --
-Taylor! Tell him.
-Then tell them Dr. Zaius won't leave here alive.
-Taylor, please -- don't treat him that way.
-Why not?
-It's humiliating.
-Would you like to come along?
-We can't.
-Dr. Zira, I'd like to kiss you good-bye.
-Go with God, Taylor. That's an old expression. it comes from both ape and man.
-He's moving his fingers!
-Of course. He saw you moving yours.
-Wouldn't it more properly be done in your office?
-Dr. Zira -- you state here that a ship from outer space sank in an inland sea of our eastern desert.
-I do not state it, sir. The prisoner does.
-Do you believe him?
-Like you, I find it difficult.
-But how convenient that the proof of his arrival has vanished? You also state that Bright Eyes had two intelligent companions at the time of his capture.
-This is his assertion.
-How sad. Stuffed and mounted, eh? Dead men, like sunken ships, can tell no stories. And his other companion?
-He doesn't know.
-Let them talk, Mr President. Let them talk.
-Secondly, if these 'tools' as you call them, are unidentified, why are they introduced as 'evidence' of anything?
-But there's the doll, sir.
-But suppose you find nothing but a wasteland. How will you survive?
-But the proof? The doll?
-Bunker...
-...but 'Lias is still out there.
-Elias is dead. Join up with the platoon. Move it.
-He's dead! Where?... You saw him?
-I SHIT on all o' you.
-Elias - you take your squad and I'll take Tex and Francis from your squad. We move out in two-zero mikes.
-Blood trail just keeps going and going but no body.
-How the hell did he get away?
-WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING!
-Stay out of this Elias. This ain't your show.
-You're dead, you're fucking dead Elias!
-Where the fuck is red platoon! Tell 'em to get their asses up here! What the fuck you doin' back here Elias? Round up your assholes and move 'em up front, we're getting chopped to shit.
-...You keep pouring out that suppressing fire, Barnes. I don't wanna be caught out there with my ass hanging out you hear me?
-We got boo-coo movement. 3rd Battalion just got hit 15 kliks north of here.
-So what's the problem?
-Says he can't walk.
-Sarge?
-Uh... Bob. Like to speak to you. Take a minute.
-Yeah, what is it?
-Bob, I got Elias' R&R... It's coming up in 3 days. Going to Hawaii. See Patsy. I never asked you for a break, I was hoping you... you'd send me in on the chopper with King... what do you say Chief?
-I can't do that for you, Red... We need every swinging dick in the field. Sorry bout that...
-Hey Bob, come on! Talk to me hunh, it's your friend Red, I'm only asking you for three days chief...
-I'm talking to you Red and I'm telling you no. Get back to your position.
-Bob, I gotta bad feeling about this, I... I'm telling you I got a bad feeling, man, I don't think I'm gonna make it... y'know what I mean?
-Hey Big Harold, gimme your peaches for the fruitcake man.
-Fuck you bitch.
-C'mon man, didn't I do you right that time I give you the turkey loaf for the ham and lima beans shit.
-Youse a pig man. I hope Manny get dat laundry gig for' you do.
-De fool think he's gonna get it but he ain't known for his thinking.
-Hey Taylor, you don't know it but I saved your ass today. I killed a shit-eating dog.
-That reminds me, I gotta take a shit.
-You gonna wipe your ass dis time?
-Don babytalk him man. Cocksucker fell asleep. They walked right up on us, he don do shit.
-Listen to that shit, that's good shit!
-Fuck that redneck noise, dude. All dem chicks be rappin' how dey losin' der' ho's and how dey ain't got no bread for beer. Fuck dat honky shit. Got to get me some motown jams, dig it?
-Whaddaya talking shit for man. Hey Junior! Y'ever smoke any shit?
-Das right dude. You be tryin' to string de black man out on dat shit and keep him DOWN. Time's be coming, my man, when de black man's gonna throw off that yoke.
-Say I can dig it. Smoke that shit everything kinda gets weird y'know? Y'hear that story the gooks is putting chemicals in the grass so's we become 'pacifists' so's we don fight Where the hell's everybody, they'se gettin high that's what - bunch of hopheads, they think they special...
-Don you worry Bunny, youse a killer anyway.
-Yeah but I still like a piece of pussy once in a while - ain't nothing like a piece of pussy cept maybe the Indie 500.
-Youse so fucked up man.
-Y'ever look at yoself in the mirror Junior, youse uglier than a dick on a dog man.
-Yeah, you had a piece of pussy on a plate in front of you, you'd probably kill it.
-Shit, I bet I been laid more'n you have.
-Sure, you probably stick it in tween her knees and think youse there.
-Yeah?
-Come on you can do better than that!
-You lame Taylor?
-What?
-Where's he from?
-Does he have a metal plate in his head?
-Baaa, got no time to go to the movies. Love and Hate too busy fighting for possession of my soul.
-Where's Elias come from?
-Taylor - get your ass over here. Move!
-Yeah! I got two of them fuckers...
-I got one...
-Shit boy you been out in the sun too long. You try that, he'll stick it right back up your ass with a candle on it.
-Then what do you suggest big shot?
-Fuck this shit!
-You guys trying to cure the headache by cutting off the head. 'Lias didn't ask you to fight his battles and if there's a Heaven - and god, I hope so - I know he's sitting up there drunk as a fuckin' monkey and smokin' shit cause HIS PAINS HE DONE LEFT DOWN HERE. Baaaaaaaaa!
-I was wrong.
-Taylor! Francis!
-Rhah! What's going on. Rodriguez's hole just got...
-La Dai! La Dai! GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE!
-Hey take it easy man. They're scared.
-Where's Lerner?
-Come on man!
-Hey Taylor, you okay man?
-Yeah. How 'bout you?
-First time?
-Yeah.
-Feel good?
-Yeah. No pain in my neck now. Feels good.
-...But what'd she do?
-But what'd she actually do?
-Dawn! That was it!
-...I can't sleep, why don't you get some sack time.
-...don't feel like it either.
-...beautiful night.
-Yeah. I love this place at night. The stars... there's no right or wrong in them, they're just there.
-Barnes got it in for you, don't he?
-Barnes believes in what he's doing.
-And you, do you believe?
-In '65 - yeah. Now... No. What happened today's just the beginning. We're gonna lose this war...
-Oh shit! Sometimes there's things in my head... man. Grass does that to me, fucks me all up like a crazy Indian...
-Do you believe that stuff about... knowing you're gonna die?
-I'll go with you.
-Okay - got light duty, three days.
-Shit, too bad we in base camp anyway.
-What you got there - beers?
-How the fuck you get over here man, you look like you educated...
-I volunteered.
-You WHAT? Say 'gain.
-You okay man? Neck botherin' you?
-Nah...
-No, thanks...
-...you know that night we got hit... I...
-Yo getting there Taylor. You be cool now and I'll introduce you 'round to some of the 'heads'.
-What are the heads?
-Three years, Jesus, he's crazy as Barnes...
-Must be somebody?
-...there's nobody.
-You been smoking too much shit babe. Gotta control that. Takes a man down... I remember when you first come out to the bush, you was straight as a...
-'People say I'm the life of the party cause I tell a joke or two although I may be laughing loud and hardy deep inside I'm blue...'
-Y'ever get caught in a mistake King and you just can't get out of it?
-Way out of anything, man. Just keep your pecker up, your powder dry, the worm WILL turn. How many days you short?
-Not just me... it's the way the whole thing works. People like Elias get wasted and people like Barnes just go on making up rules any way they want and what do we do, we just sit around in the middle and suck on it! We just don't add up to dry shit.
-Hey that's great King, that's great... you take it on home for me, you tell 'em King... got your address right? You know where you can reach men, man. Anytime!
-...Motherfuckah, motherfuckah, I'm too short to be dealing with this shit! They keep fucking with us man, no letup...
-Politics man, fuckin' politics. That O'Neill man got his nose so far up Top's ass he gotta be Pinocchio...
-Forty-two days man and a wakeup and I'm a gone motherfucker. Back to de WORLD.
-Broke a 100. Got 92 to go. April 17. DEROS man. California this summer. Waves are good they tell me, surfin's gonna be good...
-You volunteered for this shit man?
-What we got here a crusader?
-Shit! Morehouse and Sal are short. Fu Sheng's going on R&R, you don't want to send their asses out on an ambush. You got the fresh meat Elias.
-They don't know shit Barnes, and chances are we gonna run into something.
-So what am I going to do! Get one of my guys zapped so some fuckface fresh from the World can get his beauty fucking sleep!
-Hey O'Neill why don't you cool it, you don't have to be a prick everyday of your life, you know.
-Excuses are like assholes, Taylor - everybody got one.
-Tell Six we need engineers here, this pos. is crawling with traps.
-Alright, Six says torch this place! Blow the weapons in place. Round up all suspected Vee Cees and shake it up! We ain't got much light left.
-Why the fuck didn't you do something Lieutenant!
-What are you talking about!
-You know what I'm talking about!
-Sounds pretty far out to me 'Lias.
-Whatcha doing in the underworld Taylor?
-Merle?
-Whew! - where that come from?
-Found it. Growing in a garden.
-I know Barnes six months and I'll tell ya something - that man is MEAN, red in his soul like a dick on a dog.
-He done a year in Japan in the hospital, then when he gets out, the first thing he done is re-up. Four years he been in the field...
-The Good Lord works his revenge in strange ways.
-Not the only man to meet his Jezebel either.
-Then you jes gonna forget 'bout Elias and all the good times we done had? Right in here.
-Right on.
-And Baaaaaaa! back on you.
-I didn't like it.
-Tennessee someplace. Hill country.
-Well he ain't normal that's fo sure.
-I was home on leave y'know and everybody's just worried 'bout making money, everybody's out for themselves, they don't even want to talk about it man, it's like the fucking Twilight Zone back there - you wouldn't even KNOW there's a war on here. My sister says to me why you have to go there like I started this...
-You wanted to see me sir?
-Jackson, looks like you got Elias' squad now.
-Squad? I didn't know we was still referring to this platoon in terms of squads sir.
-These two holes are yours...
-Begging your pardon Lieutenant but my holes are far enuff apart you could run a regiment through there and nobody'd see them - I got five live bodies left...
-I don't want to hear your problems, Jackson. You'll get new men any day. Time being you make do like everybody else.
-Hey Lieutenant I didn't ask for this job, I...
-I don't want to hear about it Jackson.
-You don't want to hear about it?
-That's right. I don't want to hear about it 'cause to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit okay... I just don't give a shit anymore.
-Right...
-No thanks, I've seen Seattle.
-Same as an hour ago. Remember? I'm the steady type.
-You could tell me your name. And where you're going.
-How far does this train go?
-Vancouver, B.C.
-Or Reno? They always throw them off the bridge there, I've heard.
-Perhaps I don't take it so lightly.
-Where are you staying in Vancouver Royal. It's pretty crowded you know.
-Is it? I expected to go to the Vancouver Royal. Should I have a reservation?
-I'll make one for you. I live there.
-Well..
-A very small service. It doesn't even ask for thanks. How long for?
-I really don't know.
-Indefinitely?
-I don't know.
-Nice room. Balcony and everything. Lovely view too.
-Very nice Mitchell turns.
-No thanks?
-Thank you.
-Suppose I hadn't known that immigration inspector? Hadn't put in a good word for you?
-I'm supposing.
-I have a darned good idea you're name isn't Betty Mayfield at all.
-Yes?
-How about taking to Uncle Larry into the old firm? He's a useful guy to have on your side.
-
-Dine and dance tonight? I've got fifty bucks to throw away.
-Not tonight.
-What's the matter?
-I'm not in the mood for dining and dancing.
-We have some nice places around Vancouver.
-I'm sure you have.
-Well, how about a breeze up to the penthouse about six o'clock? A friend of mine is throwing a cocktail party up there.
-I haven't been invited.
-Nobody gets invited to Clark Brandon's parties. They just go.
-Perhaps I'd better get you straightened out, Mr. Mitchell. You've been rather nice to me, in a couple of ways. And I'm grateful. But I don't think this entitles you to put me on a leash.
-The brush-off, huh?
-Don't I even get my face slapped?
-Would you mind?
-Okay. You win.
-If you change your mind about the cocktail party, or anything else, give me a buzz.
-Betty, this is Margo West. She wants to meet you. Miss Mayfield.
-I think I'd like to dance.
-Please be a little more careful how you talk, Mr. Mitchell.
-How careful should I be?
-I don't like being referred to as babe, or addressed as baby. I don't like your possessive attitude, nor your hints of secret knowledge. In fact, to be very frank, Mr. Mitchell, I don't think I like you.
-I think you're drunk.
-What's the matter, baby? Don't you like being kissed?
-Good evening, Miss.
-How soon can I get a plane to Seattle?
-I'm afraid there's nothing more tonight, Miss. Unless you charter a plane.
-How long would that take?
-Well... they have to service the plane... and get a pilot down to the field, unless there's one hanging around there still... and then they have to get the immigration officer...
-Immigration Officer?
-They might think I was running away from something.
-Good morning. Can I do something for you?
-I'm Miss Mayfield. Is Mr. Campbell here?
-I'm Mr. Campbell, Miss Mayfield. Purely as a matter of routine, I want to ask the name of your bank.
-Bank?
-Merely for our records, Miss Mayfield. It's usual for the guests who come here for the first time.
-You can have the table yourself, if you'd rather. I'm only killing time.
-No, please.
-Sit down then. We often have a double up here.
-Your liquor laws..
-A fellow named Brandon has a penthouse here. He's holding open house. I was up there. Too noisy. Bored.
-I see.
-It might be worth a Martini to you.
-I don't need it that badly. I don't enjoy crashing other people's parties.
-It's open-house. No crashing involved. Anybody in the hotel's welcome.
-What did you say his name was?
-Brandon. Clark Brandon. Fellow about my age. Lot of money... that he didn't make. Former American. Now naturalized in Canada. Social standing indeterminate. Manners not quite perfect. Scotch superb.
-You don't sound as if you liked him very much.
-No.. not very well. And I like his friends even less. But.. If you really want a good dry Martini..
-As I said before...
-You're not paying for this. It's quite enough that you let me sit at your table.
-I never pay for anything. They just keep me here to amuse the guests.
-And do you amuse the guests?
-No. Are you really going to drink that stuff?
-You're drinking it.
-I can be talked out of it. As a matter of fact, I'd like a dry Martini myself.
-Would it make you anymore amusing?
-Whatever you say.
-I didn't say anything.
-I don't know you and you don't know me. I made a reasonably polite suggestion. But I'm sure you'd rather be alone.
-Neatly said...but to the wrong man. The trouble with pretty girls is that they can't imagine anyone thinking of anything else but the fact they are pretty girls. I get tired of it.
-Do you think I don't?
-Thanks for the fresh air. That felt good.
-You're sure Mr. Brandon won't mind?
-Dance?
-I know it's a littler late for an apology.
-Much too late.
-You said it wasn't a tragedy.
-What's funny about that? If you pick up people like Larry Mitchell other people are bound to get funny ideas about you. The world is full of Larry Mitchells.
-There isn't one.. That anyone would believe. I went for a walk after dinner, down to the ocean...alone... I came up and went to bed. I didn't sleep very well. Then there was a thunderstorm. And it began to rain. I went across to close the French door. That's the first time I saw him out there.
-He got in here how?
-No. And I've never fired a gun in my life, Aren't you supposed not to touch it?
-They'll know whether he killed himself.
-I don't.
-How did you meet him?
-On a train. He said he lived here, and he offered to make a reservation for me.
-Nice of him.
-He knew the immigration officer. He eased himself in.
-He was a great boy for that. What else?
-Go ahead...if you want to. It doesn't matter.
-You tried to run away.
-There wasn't any plane.
-Want a spike in it?
-There's one thing I may as well tell you. You'll find it out anyhow. I tried to run away--when I found him out there on the balcony. There wasn't any plane.
-Bad?
-Bad enough.
-He could hardly help suspecting you.
-What time is it?
-Quarter after one. Why?
-There's a lot of night left to live through.
-So there is. You don't want to go to bed. I don't want to go to bed. Let's go somewhere and hear some music--have something to drink-- something to eat--even dance.
-Dance? Tonight?
-Let's not pretend Mitchell meant anything to either of us.
-Certainly not to me.
-Just who are you, anyway?
-You, too? My name is Betty Mayfield. I was born, and I am here. Message ends. That's what I told him. He didn't like it.
-Cold?
-Is this the best you can do?
-Want to dance?
-Dance? Here?
-Why not?
-They know you here--know your name.
-That man over there. He was in the hotel lobby.
-I didn't notice him.
-We walked right passed him. He's following us.
-Killaine's not that sort of guy. He said no--he meant no.
-Then he's got to be a detective.
-Couldn't be.
-Quite sure you saw him in the hotel lobby?
-Absolutely sure.
-He's a fellow with a very hard knee, and he knows how to use it.
-You don't know who he is?
-He's not a cop. A cop wouldn't have kneed me.
-He was following us--but he's not a policeman.
-Us?
-All right--following me.
-Why?
-No matter. There's nothing I can do about it.
-Anything I can do about it?
-Take me home--and forget you ever saw me. That's a silly remark isn't it?
-It still doesn't matter if I kiss you?
-Nothing matters.
-That's the second round I've lost tonight. That fellow hurt me.
-So have I.
-It sounds like a fair location. Could you be a little more exact?
-I'm in the Hudson Bay Company's store. That man last night--the one that followed me--
-Cant be too close for me. Right across the street from it suits me. Anything else listed?
-There's another man--right outside the booth here. I never saw him Before.
-I hated to go to that place. I almost went to the police station instead.
-No percentage in that.
-They're going to arrest me.
-I know. Killaine has a warrant.
-If you meant it, you wouldn't show it to me, Betty. Or am I supposed to deliver it to dear Inspector Killaine?
-Wrote it in the waiting room of the Hudson Bay Store. With somebody's Pekingese trying to climb into my lap. Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I didn't mean it. All I know is that I'm licked.
-There's a lot of water between Vancouver and the U.S.A. This note is a suicide note. After you're gone where would they look for you? Why would they look for you? Darkness, and open water, and a fast cabin cruiser. And I have a pocket full of money. And if I helped you, I'd be committing a crime, or so they tell me.
-That wasn't why I called you. Why did I hope--when I hadn't any right to hope?
-How bad is it? Bad enough for--
-Take me where I haven't the courage to take myself.
-How bad is the other thing? The secret?
-This is the ace, Betty. But not of spades. They'll find out about the other. They might know already. And when they get this-- What would they look for? Where? Out there somewhere?
-They'll look for you.
-I run over to Victoria. Play some golf with some people I know. Do it all the time. That's why I have a cabin cruiser. Custom- built.Forty knots. Mr Clark Brandon an almost gentleman of almost complete leisure. Member of six golf clubs. Broke 70 once on the Shaughnessy Heights Course. You have to be good to do that, And if you look out
-And Betty Mayfield--
-Blonde, beautiful, and sad--and nowhere. Of course she might have run away--if she knew how. And where to go. She might have dyed her hair. Bleached it before probably. And changed her name again. But look at this note. And look at her room in the hotel. Her stuff is all there. Hasn't a rag except what she stood up in. You don't run
-But that's what I'm doing. Couldn't they think of that?
-If they had any reason to. Why make it tough for themselves? Why go to all that trouble? Here's an open book. Close it. No reason to keep it open. She was a nice girl, anyway. And perhaps she didn't kill him on purpose. Perhaps she didn't kill the other one. You never know. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Leave her stay
-Killaine...
-You'll be safe here. I won't be long. Help yourself to anything you want. The galley's through there. You can make coffee if you like.
-This must have cost a fortune.
-It did, but it never paid off-- until now. I ought to be back within an hour. We can't leave until near dark anyway.
-Do you have to leave the note?
-I'd still go through--even if I ended up in jail.
-You wouldn't like it. I've been there.
-Well?
-Killaine's wise. We can't wait any longer. Here, put this on. But stay out of sight until we clear the harbor. I'll tell you when.
-See anything?
-I can still see the shoreline. The moon is rising.
-Cold?
-Frozen.
-I decided I didn't want a drink...I'm beginning to wonder.
-Wonder what?
-If you're doing all this just for me.
-That, and the fun of it.
-I thought you had to be back to the hotel. To leave my--my note.
-Funny, I never thought of you that way. You were so close too. We were all pretty stupid about you.
-Including Killaine.
-Including Killaine...I still can't think of you that way.
-I told you my father died in jail. He stole a fortune. Most of it pretty dirty money. I don't care to have that known.
-In a way.
-If it was an accident, you could have told the truth.
-So could you. But our records were a little against us.
-What your father did doesn't condemn you.
-Nobody believed I wasn't in on it. I was just a dumb-smart collage boy, and he was my father. I thought it was a legitimate business. He was a politician, with fingers in a lot of pies. I never saw the pies. They had names. For the record. Innocent names. You know where that kind of money comes from, don't you?
-It buys things, just like any other kind.
-That man that was following us last night--he didn't come back this morning. I'm beginning to wonder about him, too. Was he really following me--or you?
-No. I paid him off.
-He'll come back...They always come back when you give them money.
-Not this one. And not Mitchell.
-You-killed-him?
-Magruder obliged me. No use my saying it wasn't planned that way. I had to clean up. I'm not a dumb- smart college boy anymore. Nobody in the world would believe I didn't plan the whole thing.
-I guess I'm a little screwy. Maybe I could believe it. Should I try?
-Don't go soft on me, baby. I've got your note in my pocket. You wrote it, all by your own self. And I have to use it. It has to be found in exactly the right place.
-You'll never make it. You've out- smarted yourself.
-It wasn't the time or place. Don't worry about the note, baby. I'm playing for my neck now.
-And I'm begging for my life--and yours.
-Mine?
-Yes. Yours. You haven't murdered anybody. You killed Mitchell. Wasn't that an accident? It must have been. If you kill a blackmailer, you kill him dead--so that he can't talk anymore.
-Mitchell was dead enough.
-And that nasty man that followed us last night. You didn't kill him.
-Who'd believe it but you? I took him out to sea and threw him in the water. Even if they find him, what connects him with me?
-Magruder does.
-You think Magruder wants to hang beside me?
-But the next one is murder. First the little step, then the longer step , and then the step you can never take back. You could tell about Mitchell. You could tell about Magruder--and the detective. It would hurt, but you could do it. You could never tell about me.
-Would I want to?
-Every day of your life you'll want me. You'll never get over it. Every time you see your face in the mirror--
-This is it, Betty. They'll find us again, fog or no fog.
-If it has to be--do you mind if I do it myself? Oh, I don't mean with the gun. This is no trick. When I wrote that note you have in your pocket-- that was no trick either. It's not so hard for me as you think. I'm not crying about it, I've been skating close to it for quite some time. The water
-Me?
-I think you mean that.
-Do you think I was faking?
-Yes, Miss.
-I'd like a dry Martini. Very dry, please.
-Sorry, Miss. Beer and ale only. Canadian law.
-Beer? Well, all right.
-Beer or ale, Miss?
-Ale. I don't mind.
-Mrs. West is a very emotional woman.
-I don't know her.. or particularly want to.
-You probably know the type. You find them in hotels and resorts all over the world. They always have clothes, and money, and usually have had three or four husbands. They dress and enamel themselves with great care. They worry a great deal about those little lines at the corner of the eyes.. And they demonstrate their incompetence at the art of living bet
-I was born in New York City. I grew up. And here I am.
-I'll have to know a little more than that.
-I'm sorry, that's all there is.
-Please answer my question.
-You didn't ask a question. You made a speech.
-That's an evasion and you know it.
-Well, that's not getting us anywhere. You won't tell me who you are, or give any account of yourself. You won't even give me your address in the United States. Why? Unhappy marriage?
-Who told you I was married?
-Your family coat of arms, Mr. Killaine?
-Regimental! Seaforth Highlanders.
-I'm sorry.
-Stop saying you're sorry. I want information, not regrets.
-What this?
-Yes.
-Where's you get it?
-An unhappy marriage hardly seems a sufficient reason for that.
-Why don't you arrest me and be done with it.
-Good morning, Mr. Killaine. I'm sorry I can't give you the name of my bank--because I have no bank at the moment. That was a crude trick.
-Care for a stroll outside? Beautiful morning. The air is like wine, the sky is a deep blue.
-Deep blue? I'd call it grey-blue.
-FLorida?
-Down below's Stanley Park. On the other side of the trees, there's a beach. You can see it. Steveston's over there. Coast Guard station. There's the Yacht Club, and beyond it, the docks. The over on the other side of the inlet, there's Grouse Mountain. It's about 4000 feet high. There's a restaurant on top of it. Very nice restaurant. I'm sorry we couldn't
-We wouldn't have met at all.
-True. I was a bit irritable last night. I apologize.
-You were a galahad, compared to some cops I've known.
-You've had dealings with the police before?
-Who hasn't--one way or another?
-But not in the investigation of a major crime, I hope.
-Is it a crime?
-We're 98 per cent certain Mitchell was murdered. There are a lot of reasons. Was he very drunk when you last saw him?
-You were there when I last saw him.
-I'll find out, you know. Perhaps not today--perhaps not tomorrow. But in the end, I'll find out.
-The police always do, don't they?
-I wouldn't make you talk about it. My job is the death of Marry Mitchell. Why can't you give me your confidence?
-You--or the Vancouver Police Department?
-We try to be decent.
-You won't tell me who you are? You won't even give me a chance to help you?
-Nobody can help me. You, least of all.
-If I understand what you meant by that.
-You understand perfectly.
-Then there isn't much I can do, is there?
-This isn't a very good place to talk.
-I don't want to talk.
-I expected nothing else.
-I might be able to save you. If I knew enough.
-You wouldn't even try There must be some copper in you, or you wouldn't be an inspector.
-I'm about to be very silly. A man passes a girl on the street--a very lovely girl--his eyes meet her eyes, and something reaches out and takes hold of his heart-- and then she goes on and is lost in the crowd--and he says to himself, "There goes my lost love"-- and it's true--if he never sees her again, it's still true. Of course,
-Points very straight to her.
-He looks at the girl, looks into her eyes--
-What does he see?
-Palm trees against a sunset--waves breaking on a coral reef--the Taj Mahal by moonlight--roses in an English garden, just after a shower-- Clichés, one and all--but good ones, with a lot of mileage left in them--there's one thing he does not see--murder--and murder was what he was sent to find. Pretty ridiculous, isn't it?
-Very ridiculous.
-That's my hard luck--I'm man enough to tell you about it--and not be sorry.
-What do your friends call you?-- The ones that know you well?--and like you very much?
-They call me Jeff.
-Jeff. Shall we go now, Jeff, and get it over with?
-Not quiet yet. We know who the gun belonged to. Margo West. She told us this morning. It doesn't mean much. Mitchell took it away from her. He had a habit of going through her bag.
-Looking for peanuts, I suppose.
-So Mitchell had handled it. Afterwards, Brandon picked it up. There's no indication you handled it.
-I always wear gloves when I shoot people. A bad joke--but better than tears.
-Time's up. I'm off the case.
-They'll only find someone else-- who won't be so kind.
-That's something I can't spare you. But I won't do it myself.
-Because you think your in love with me?
-You've got a couple of hours, maybe.
-To do what?
-I can't answer that.
-What will they do to you?
-That's they're business. Can I drop you somewhere?
-What are you going to do--toss your job into Puget Sound? Because I make you think of magnolias? I thought policeman was something like a soldier. That his duty came first. However much he might happen hate it.
-I've been a soldier too. There is a difference. A policeman, like a judge, has a right to disqualify himself on proper grounds.
-What proper grounds? You can't be in love with me. You hardly know me. I'm not in love with you.
-I know that.
-But even if you were in love with me.
-There's an empty taxi across the street. If you're so anxious, take it. He'll know the way to the police headquarters.
-You do things the hard way, don't you?
-Sometimes.
-Not sometimes. Always. Just because it is the hard way. You're that kind of man, Jeff.
-He could have killed me a dozen times. You'd never have known.
-We know everything.
-No, Jeff. You don't. He's not a murderer, I tell you. He;s not a murderer.
-But I tell you---if you'd only understand.
-Good morning, Mr. Brandon.
-Morning. Any calls?
-Mr. Reed would like you to call him.
-All right. Get him.
-And there's a Mr. Goble to see you. Says his business is personal.
-Mr. Reed, please, for Mr. Brandon. Very well. Have him call. Mr. Brandon is in his office now. Mr. Reed stepped out, Mr. Brandon.
-I'd like a few words with you, in private.
-Nice friendly approach you've got. Goble. I could hardly walk when I got out of bed this morning.
-You asked for it.
-I'm still asking. What do you want?
-I'm not sure I want anything from you. You might want something from me.
-Name it.
-Private eye?
-You guessed it. The card's phony. I got plenty of 'em. Different names, different jobs. I work out of San Francisco. Go anywhere, do anything. All it takes is the folding.
-What are your rates?
-$40 a day and expenses. Expenses run pretty high on a case like this. I'm a long way from home. I don't have a B.C. Licence. I'd need about $500 for a retainer.
-What have you got on Miss Mayfield?
-That's a nice hard knee you've got, Goble. How'd you like to trade it for a broken neck?
-Quit trying to scare me, Mr. Brandon, I'm neurotic.
-You hurt my feelings. I ought to raise the price to be a thousand.
-If I call the police, your price will go down to a minus sign.
-Bluff. You've waited too long.
-For five hundred, what do I get?
-I go home and paint the kitchen.
-For two hundred?
-I stick around and wait for the five hundred.
-You mentioned information.
-Sorry. Another client paid for that. You can hire me not to use it.
-A thousand.
-Got it on you?
-Got the information on you?
-There's two hundred. I'll meet you in an hour--where we met last night
-Why not here?
-I don't like your perfume in my office. Make it somewhere else if you don't like Charlie's.
-Hi Margo. Hello Killaine. You two come together?
-Let me introduce you. Mr. Killaine, Mrs. West.
-What'll you have, Margo?
-Martini.
-You make friends quickly, don't you, Clark?
-Sometimes.
-And without much discrimination.
-Leave that one lay.
-I'm sorry. This thing has just knocked me silly. How long do we have to wait for this police character?
-Until he comes. He's a nice guy. You've met him.
-All right, let's see the buzzer.
-What's a buzzer?
-So you're not a cop.
-Me a cop? What made you think that, Mr. Brandon?
-Who told you my name?
-How are your teeth getting along?
-What's this in favor of?
-What?
-It goes with this... cold houses and warm drinks...the effete Englishman.
-That's what I like about cocktail parties. Everyone is so perfectly natural.
-How's life treating you?
-The usual grind.
-Round of golf Saturday?
-Would it have helped if I'd knocked him down?
-Hardly. Who's the girl?
-Somebody Mitchell picked up on the train. I don't even know her name.
-She doesn't look like a girl who would let herself be picked up on a train.
-Thank you.
-Where?
-On Miss Mayfield's balcony.. beside the chaise, I picked it up. Don't ask me why. I ought to know better.
-Could be.
-I rather thought so. And before that, had you ever seen the gun?
-It was lying where on the balcony?
-Near his right hand. About a foot away. Perhaps more. Good heavens, one doesn't use a tape measure.
-How about a cup of coffee?
-How are you two getting along?
-In case you want to have us followed.
-I don't.
-Time for a little chat?
-If it doesn't take too long. Drink?
-Thanks. Lovely view you have, haven't you?
-I never notice the view after the first week.
-I would. Fancy waking up every morning with that in your lap. Wonderful thing, money is. Remember what Somerset Maugham said about it ?
-I wouldn't know.
-"Money is a sort of sixth sense that gives meaning to all the others." Very appealing, especially to a poor man.
-Could we discuss that some other time?
-Sure. Let's discuss Betty Mayfield. How long since you saw her?
-A couple of hours.
-I have a warrant for her arrest.
-That must hurt.
-I've always thought you were a pretty nice guy, Brandon. I'd like to go on thinking so. If you tried to help her get away--
-Would that make me a heel?
-You'd be breaking the law.
-Doesn't answer the question.
-The only answer I have for you.
-You passed up a dozen chances to arrest her. What toughened you up?
-Information.
-Don't kid me. You don't think she murdered Mitchell.
-It could have been an accident.
-That COULD BE TOLD.
-Not if she knew she wouldn't be believed.
-And old man Clarendon? He had a motive, too. Margo and her money.
-Mitchell was killed down here. How could Clarendon get in to do it? Or Margo for that matter.
-How could Mitchell? After that act he put on up here, is it likely she'd let him in?
-Mitchell was too drunk.
-Or just drunk enough. He was with her when she registered. He knew where her room was. You were out most of the evening. There was a lot of mess to clean up . Waiters coming and going, the door standing open. Suppose Mitchell came in to grab a drink for himself, then wandered out on this balcony, then realized betty's balcony was just
-Romeo in reverse. Uh-uh. No sale, Killaine.
-You don't buy it. Okay. So I still want Betty Mayfield. Where is she?
-No more for me, thanks. Remember what I said. I can't interfere with the law.
-You forgetting the gag line, Killaine. The police don't take anything for granted.
-I'm afraid they do. Far too often. So long.
-You do a lot of real estate trading, Brandon?
-Now and then. Mostly just for the fun of it.
-I tried it once. I lost my shirt.
-I buy my shirts by the dozen. Fortunately.
-I had a father who knew how to steal.
-What?
-You asked me where it all came from.
-Hello, Mitchell. Having fun?
-What's the matter, baby. Don't you like me anymore?
-Lay off, can't you?
-Do me a favor, Mitchell. Find yourself a nice secluded park bench.
-Did I do something wrong?
-I wouldn't know. Just do it somewhere else. There is such a thing as good manners.
-How would you know, Brandon?
-Want to walk out... or get thrown out?
-You don't throw guests out, Brandon.
-Good afternoon, Mr. Campbell.
-Mr. Mitchell.
-A little something on account perhaps?
-Rather more than a little something, Mr. Mitchell.
-I think we'd better discuss this in my office, Mr. Mitchell.
-I'm getting positively haggard. In a couple of years people will be describing me as well preserved.
-So much less refined than frizzling them in the chair.
-What are you doing here?
-I don't think you locked your door.
-What do you want?
-See how easy it is? Perhaps Miss Mayfield left her door unlocked. Or if she didn't, there's a passkey on every floor in the linen room. The head porter has a passkey. The bell captain has a passkey. The hotel's full of passkeys.
-Passkey?
-Or--since one is a well-known and respected guest--one could go to the desk in the lobby and say "Miss Mayfield seems to have lost her room key--have you another"? They always have another.
-Don't be a fool. I loved him. He wasn't worth it, but I loved him.
-And now that he's safe from all other women, you can go on loving him.
-You nasty, sardonic--
-I'm a very observant man. You had something in your bag this afternoon, Something that causes you to hold it in a particular way. Something that made a particular sound when you put it down on the bar. You went out with Mitchell. None of us ever saw him again.
-That's not enough.
-I saw your face this evening when the detective showed you the gun. You lied. It was obvious.
-He saw my face too.
-So he did--but he hasn't told you what he saw. I have.
-They'll arrest that girl. Everything points to her.
-One of these days, you're going to wake up in the middle of the night and find that you've cut your throat.
-How clumsy. I'd never forgive myself. Good night my dear.
-You could have got in that room, just as you got in here. How do I know you didn't kill Larry?
-With what motive?
-Nastiness. You're nasty with words. Why wouldn't you be nasty with deeds once in a while? You hated him--and I know why.
-Mr. Clarendon, have you ever seen this before?
-I'm sorry, Inspector, I don't know much about..
-Recently, then.
-No, Not recently. I'm sure of that.
-I needn't keep you any longer, Mr. Clarendon.
-The Harbor police have just picked up a dead man out of the water.
-Floater?
-Not a floater. Only just dead.
-You're the waterfront specialist. Find out about it. I've got a murder to investigate.
-You have two murders to investigate. This man's head was beaten in. And there's nothing in his pockets.
-Drunk-rolling job. They hit him too hard.
-I've been on the waterfront detail for twelve years. This man hadn't been dead an hour. He wasn't killed last night. He was killed today. In broad daylight. That's no drunk- rolling job.
-And don't get too logical, Driscoll. In police business it doesn't work. I wish it did. But it doesn't
-Got a moment, Inspector?
-I've got a year. Or a second. I'm not sure which.
-We've done that. He's a San Francisco private eye. Name Martin J. Goble, G-O-B-L-E. Had initials in his hat and for once he lived where he bought it. Goble and Greer is the firm name.
-Swimming with his hat on? That's original.
-If you'd seen the blood on his head--and some body had to carry him out to sea--
-I understand. Pity to mess up a nice clean boat.
-I got through to Greer, his partner in the detective business. Greer won't give out.
-I'd suggest a telegram. Something like this: Chief of Police, San Francisco. A licensed private detective named named Martin J. Goble, address so-and-so, has been found murdered within our jurisdiction. His partner, name something-something Greer, refuses to give us any information. Correction. Refuses information necessary to our investigation. Can you assist? Signed Detective Sergeant Driscoll, Vancouver, British Columbia, Police.
-Send that?
-Would you?
-Catch me at the Vancouver Royal if it's important.
-The Super's just given me the sweetest dressing down I've ever had. I'm still reeling from it. And believe me, I had it coming. I apologize. What you think is important--I think is important.
-Thanks, Inspector. What are your orders about this wire to San Francisco?
-What's the face for, Driscoll?
-Magruder's conked out. Adrenaline injections, oxygen tent. He may come out of it and he may not. As a source of quick information, we can't forget him.
-I'm looking for Mr. Brandon.
-I have an appointment with him, right here, right now.
-Go live in a tent.
-It'll be a tough dollar when guys like you learn the alphabet.
-Mr. Brandon couldn't be here. He might have left something for you. What would it look like?
-One of those nice long manila envelopes--sealed. Not too fat- not too thin.
-What do I get for it?
-You get it's brother.
-I need a receipt. Sign your name across the flap.
-Open it and count it.
-You in charge here?
-So it seems Sergeant.
-Right.
-I knew him. He was easy to dislike, poor chap.
-... I supposed you knew her, too, Inspector.
-I've met her.
-Pearl-handled .25 Automatic, uh? No, it's a Belgian gun... 6.6 mm.
-This make of gun throws a shell backwards, high, and to the right. The chaise is only about four feet from the wall.
-So the shell ought to have gone over?
-Unless the gun was slanted up.
-So the wound and the shell give you the same answer.
-Right. A clean deduction from observed facts. They've got to be simple once in a while, Inspector.
-She didn't seem the type to lam out--even if she got the chance. That stuff was all gone through last night. Anything special you're looking for, Inspector?
-I'll know when I find it.
-"G.G. Market one-eight-four-two."
-Gigi, huh? Sounds French--one of those fancy ladies. Must have been very fancy, if he scratched her phone number in gold.
-That's pretty risky business, Inspector.
-Not too hard, is it?
-Maybe we've been pretty dumb--
-Was that about the right angle?
-I think so.
-Where's the shell?
-You've got a dead man on your hands. You killed jim--even if it wasn't murder. What are you going to do about it?
-If I've got any sense I'm going to call headquarters.
-They'll probably believe you. But they'll want to know what you were fighting about. Why Mitchell had a gun. You'll tell them a simple story. They'll pretend it sounds all right to them. Now you're headquarters. How does it sound to you?
-Before I took the story and closed the case, I'd want to know a lot more about these people. I'd want to know just about everything about them.
-Exactly. Now I'm the killer. And there's something I don't want you to know. Something that would destroy my comfortable life, rob me of my friends, my position.
-Such as?
-Assume there is something to hid. I go to a lot of trouble. What do I do? What would you do?
-Do I know who lives down there?
-You can find out.
-Do I know that she's out of the room? Likely to be out of it for some time?
-You can find out the first part. The second part you have to take a chance on.
-Pretty big chance, huh?
-This is the shell. What about the gun?
-Well. What about it?
-I've handled it. Mitchell's handed it. If I wipe it off, no suicide. If I take it out and lose it, no suicide. If I leave it here....no suicide.
-So?
-How did he know he'd get the chance? He couldn't have arranged it.
-He could have tried. If he was up there in the dark, listening, he'd know when she came home, know when she found Mitchell dead, know what she did about it. If she telephoned, he'd probably hear that.
-And she did give him the chance, the way it worked out.
-If she didn't--if luck was against him--he wipes the gun off, reaches the wall up there--drops it on the chaise.
-No suicide.
-Did we ever really think it was suicide?
-You win, Inspector. You win all along the line. Why didn't we think of Brandon before--or did we-- some of us. Yeah. Of course you did. When a suspect thinks he's safe, you go on letting him think he's safe. Wait for a mistake.
-Greer and Goble in the Call Building, San Francisco. Just like you thought...Two murders in two days. Different places, different methods, different people. Nothing connects them, but a telephone number.
-Oh, the Coldstream Guards. Don't you take your hat off in elevators?
-May you what?
-Oh nothing.
-Scotch and plain water, I think.
-I never saw it before.
-What about me?
-You knew Mitchell pretty well, didn't you, Mrs. West?
-I was in love with him... which shows you the quality of my brains. Why don't you ask her about the gun?
-I shall. From your knowledge of Mitchell, would you say he would be likely to commit suicide?
-Anybody could commit suicide, if he felt low enough. I've felt it myself.
-Then why not give Miss Mayfield the benefit of the doubt?
-I'd be delighted to... anytime you can show me the doubt. I'll wrap it up in tissue paper and put a Christmas seals on it for her.
-Remember that time, didn't I? Good morning Mrs. West. Does your visit here mean you've changed your mind?
-How did you know? Clarendon. You cops never tell anybody anything, do you.
-Other people always know so much more than we know--so much more than they're willing to tell us.
-You couldn't possible have traced it this soon--not possibly.
-Of course not. Thanks for telling me. I haven't seen Mr. Clarendon.
-I am a fool.
-That depends upon your motive. You were in love with Mitchell, weren't you?
-Yes--and he's already becoming vague to me. Funny! Last night I was furiously jealous. Jealous of what? I out that gun in my bag deliberately. Who was I going to kill with it? A girl I didn't even know? A man I knew to be a thief and a forger? A half-man? A gigolo? It's already ludicrous. Love! What a comedy!
-You didn't play it for laughs last night.
-Did you ever have a serious operation?
-Mortar shells are not funny, either.
-At first, it doesn't hurt at all. That's shock. Then it hurts terribly--you wouldn't believe such pain could exist--and six months later you can't remember what pain felt like. It hasn't taken six months this time. It hasn't even taken twenty- four hours. Is that a beastly thing to say?
-Not if it clears the air.
-It does. May I go now?
-I'll investigate Mr. Clarendon's financial position--
-I don't understand.
-Perhaps a rich widow would have solved all his problems.
-Now, you're being beastly.
-Sure. You didn't come here in person just to tell me about the gun. You wanted me to be looking across the desk at you while you talked about Mitchell. If I believe you, it would be psychologically impossible for you to have killed him last night.
-And if you didn't believe me?
-Yes, I think so. Here are two glazed manila envelopes. One is the bag type. The other one had the money in it. Don't ask me how I know. I know.
-I'm interested in who handled it.
-No doubt about that one.
-How about Magruder?
-He checks too.
-That leaves two strangers.
-So far.
-Try Betty Mayfield. The Mitchell case.
-Mayfield? She fit into this?
-You'll have to take my word for it. We don't make slides until we have perfect prints for comparison.
-This gun permit was issued to Clark Brandon?
-The card says so, doesn't it?
-Killaine, this is Mr. Mitchell, Senior. Young Mitchell's father. He just flew in from Toronto.
-I've explained the situation to Mr. Mitchell up to a point. Now about this Mayfield girl?
-She's a suspect, naturally. But not the only one.
-No.
-I hear she's a very pretty girl.
-Which forces me to arrest her against my better judgment.
-Am I to interpret that as an order to arrest Miss Mayfield?
-Are you a policeman or a soft-headed nincompoop?
-A little of both, sir, and perhaps not quiet enough of either.
-It won't look pretty good on your record, Killaine. Where's the girl now?
-I don't know, sir.
-Well, find out. Who's covering her?
-This girl is a murderess, Killaine.
-I disagree, sir. As Inspector in charge of the case I have the right to form that opinion, the right to act on it.
-Ye have, have ye?
-We lifted seven fairly good prints from Miss Mayfield's toilet articles. Washington ought to teletype us within a few hours.
-And in the meantime this girl goes where she pleases, does what she pleases?
-"Superintendent J. Mckechnie, Vancouver Police Department. Vancouver B.c. Replaying To Your E.P. teletype classification No. 2684 incomplete. We advise identification possible. Elizabeth Kinsolving, arrested Greenwater, North Carolina, January 8, 1948, on a charge of murder. Signed, FBI., Washington, D.C. H. Cleary, Inspector in charge." Have ye any comment, Killaine?
-Identification on possible, Sir. Not conclusive.
-"Physical description: Age 26, Height 5 1 3/4 inches: Weight, 188 pounds: Light brown hair: Deep blue eyes: Small, perfectly formed features: Ears and earlobes small: Slender build: Wears size 4 AA shoe: Quiet refined manner: New York accent: No charges pending. No prior criminal record. Mayfield, Mother's name. Air-mailing you photographs today. Signed Hubert Tollison, Chief of Police, Greenwater, North Carolina." She bleached
-I think you'd be entirely justified, sir.
-But you still think she's innocent.
-I believe you won decorations during the war.
-There are people in this world who don't think a police badge is a badge of honor. I'm not one of them.
-Nor I. This is why I gave it to you.
-You're a young man. You're romantic. You think a pretty face and a clean conscience go together. You think a soft voice means a soft heart. You'll grow out of that.
-Not too far, I hope.
-Get out of here!
-What are my orders, sir?
-I'm afraid you're not very glad to see me, Margo.
-With your charm? How could I help it? Have a nice trip?
-So-so.
-Who's the girl?
-Her name's Mayfield. Betty Mayfield.
-Nice.
-She's just a girl I met on the train. You don't mind do you?
-Why should I mind?
-You shouldn't. You washed me up very thoroughly.
-As thoroughly as I could. It wasn't easy. But you are helping me.
-Margo, darling. You washed me up. Remember? We're just friends. You wanted it that way.
-She's very beautiful. She's much younger than I am. And she's rich, I hope.
-Rich? I haven't the faintest idea. Why?
-You ought to know why.
-I don't. My hunch is she's just torn up an unhappy marriage. I was able to do her a small favor.
-I hoped to get enough to cover them before they cleared. I wasn't lucky.
-You know what would happen to you if I turned these over to the police?
-I have a rough idea.
-You'd go to jail. For a long term.
-What'll we do about it, Margo?
-I've always been a heel. I guess I always will be.
-You don't have to make a pose of it.
-It's the only pose I have left. I'm sunk. Broke. I don't even have my hotel bill.
-I seem to remember that you like to help yourself.
-That's not very kind.
-What's this?
-What does it look like?
-How long have you had it?
-Years, why?
-It's against the law to cross the border with a gun. The Canadian police might like to know about this.
-You already have the checks, darling.
-I didn't mean it that way I'm sorry.
-Oh, forget it. Clark Brandon's throwing a party up in his penthouse this evening. Take me?
-Of course.
-How about your new friend?
-I told you she's just..
-A girl you meet on the train. Excuse my bringing it up again. Be back in an hour. Right?
-Right.
-I'm sorry. I forgot about calling for you.
-It's quite unimportant, Mr. Mitchell. After all, you got what you wanted.
-Be nasty.
-I have no intension of being nasty, Mr. Mitchell.
-She is beautiful. And young. No thank you.
-You're very attractive, my dear. And you look very unsophisticated.
-Mr. Penfield. I am sorry to have kept you.
-It's kind of you to see me.
-He's a little unhappy. I hope he wasn't a nuisance?
-My first husband worked for the BBC. I doubt if anyone there remembers him now, just another long dead diligent administrator. He would have been useful in the fight to preserve the BBC's independence during the Suez crisis - one of the few things he was passionate about. I became involved too. I started work on a book that would have been published on
-What a shame.
-It wasn't much more than a pot boiler.Suez was very important for our generation. I didn't want it to be forgotten. And that's why I'd like to be able to help you. But really Mr. Penfield, I looked through my notes before you came, they're all very much out of date, there's been so much published since. I don't think I'm your man.
-Well, I am a great admirer of your work. I read your books on Chartism when I was still at school. I'm a journalist, not a historian. There are questions of method, and approach. I wondered--
-I see. Are you a socialist, Mr. Penfield?
-Yes.
-My husband apologises for not joining us. It's not too cold for you, Mr. Penfield?
-It's fine, thank you.
-Since you are a friend of my daughter's, I think I'm entitled to call you James, don't you think?
-Please do. I was beginning to wonder who this Mr. Penfield was.
-To Ann.
-To James. I remember what it was I was going to say. We were talking about forgetfulness. The Czech writer Kundera has one of his characters say that the struggle of man against tyranny is the struggle of memory against forgetting.
-History books are first onto the bonfires.
-Here I am lecturing you. Have some pâté.
-So I can go ahead and be a historian without feeling like a poseur.I shall be fulfilling a citizen's duty.
-If you like. But don't be too modest, James. The citizen's duty is to remember, not necessarily to write books. You are highly qualified. You're a responsible journalist doing what sounds to me like a very demanding job. Every day you take decisions that depend on your sense of history. A genuine tyranny would have to get rid of people like you.
-You're kind to be so encouraging.
-I do worry about Susan. Have you known her long? She hasn't mentioned you.
-Actually, we've only just met. But we're quiet good friends.
-It's a pity she couldn't make it up here today.
-Yes.
-She'll be here next weekend. Why don't you come too, James? I'll * show you the marshes properly. If you're lucky you might even see the first of the geese arriving from Siberia.
-Well, I'd hate to be a nuisance.
-Thank you.
-The references are to Hansard or to newspapers. I haven't got the actual speeches now. You'll have to chase them up.
-I will, thanks.
-Hello. Anyone for a walk? Tom isn't, I can tell you.
-Shall we go?
-Then I began to listen to what the well-off were saying about the poor now — the war had just ended, and the language was much the same as it had been before the first Reform Act. A small minority thought that England was really theirs, they had made it, they owned it. The rest, the wage earners, were foreigners, outsiders intent on wrecking
-Didn't Evelyn Waugh say that the country under Atlee seemed to be under enemy occupation?
-Did he? I left school and worked for the Labour Party. My older brother, George, had just been killed in Greece, and he'd been an active member. I hero-worshipped him. He was 25 years old ... It was an exciting time for us, those first couple of years after the war. We thought the country was about to become a true democracy. I can
-What went wrong?
-Thank you.
-Now first of all, tell us your name.
-Penfield. James Penfield.
-But I'm not an interviewer or a correspondent.
-Give them here. This tells you how the Women's Peace Camp came to be set up. All local women at first, then we had support from women and men all over the country.
-Terrific.
-But what we need is national coverage. It's difficult with this Falklands madness going on. Do you think you might be able to do something when you get back?
-Charles! I didn't know you were back. Have a good holiday?
-Not too bad, thanks. How have you been?
-Working hard on that book I was telling you about. Coming to the meeting?
-I'm not sure I can face it.
-How's Mary?
-She's fine. Well, actually we've broken up. It's all over.
-No. That's terrible, Charles. What happened?
-Aha. James giving some woman the old heave-ho.
-It's terribly good.
-Committed to memory. Forever.
-Attributed?
-Of course.
-Why, is there a new Foreign Secretary? Who was the old one anyway?
-Congratulations. Who with?
-I know, I know! Gentlemen, let me introduce you to one of our most talented contributors to The Cold War. James Penfield. He wrote the opening chapter, on 'The Berlin Airlift'. One of the best chapters in the book.
-Hello.
-Would you like a dessert...I'm having one.
-No thanks. I'd like to break away--
-I'll have some of that.
-...break away completely from--
-And some of that. Sorry.
-Yes...You're not a socialist then?
-No. I'd want to--
-Good.
-I'd want to set out events as they happened. The way I see it is this: the British Empire was an ideal. It may have become totally obsolete by the middle of this century, but it wasn't totally dishonourable to try and defend its remains and try and salvage some self-respect, which is what I think the Conservatives were trying to do. Then there's
-Are you going to have coffee?
-Yes, please.
-And you'll join me in a sambucca?
-Personally James, I'm very excited by this new arrangement we have. It gives us direct access to literally hundreds of American collages. Twentieth century history is a growth area over there, don't ask me why. Your readership will be first and second year American collage students...
-Freshman and sophomores...
-You know the lingo. Jolly good. So your language will have to be simple, not stupid, mind, but simple, very, very simple, and always remember it's an American readership.
-James... I can't begin to tell you how pleased we all are. Congratulations, and I really mean it.
-Thank you.
-It's everything we wanted. A very good read. A terrific piece of work. So, here's to you and Suez.
-So it's all worked out perfectly...
-Was that your chapter, then? It was very good.
-Thank you. We met last week, at the Wajda film. You won't remember. We didn't actually speak.
-Can I give you a lift?
-What did you think of that Wadja film?
-I quite liked it. I wasn't as enthusiastic as everyone else.
-I thought it was tremendous.
-I think it went on rather too long.
-I couldn't bear for it to end.
-And I didn't like that man.
-Oh, but he was terrific.
-And the shape of it all. It was sort of...shapeless.
-Really? I thought those long flashbacks were extremely good.
-You don't like flashbacks because your mother's a historian.
-Good theory. But I like my mother. I have no aversions to what she does.
-Too bad. What did your father do?
-Everyone describes the same process. At first it is exciting. You're at the centre of the world. As soon as anything happens, you're the first to know about it. And there are deadlines a dozen times a day, even more, and that's intimidating and exciting. Then you get the hang of it and the excitement wears off. Your a clerk in a rather dowdy
-And you're at this third stage
-No, there's a fourth. Numbness. You do everything right, but you feel nothing either way.
-I think you're exaggerating. And if you aren't, you should jolly well change your job.
-Oh yes?
-Mummy and I, we were more like lovers, really, or sisters. Then a couple of years after Daddy died, and not long after I left Oxford, she started seeing various men and I was furious. I really was upset. I stopped going home. I never phoned. I went round telling everyone how awful her books were. And she hardly seemed to notice, and that
-How nice.
-It makes me weepy just to remember it. So we were fine again, and then she got married to Matthew who's a womaniser and a bit of a yob, but quite nice really, makes TV commercials. What about yours.
-Both dead.
-Damn. They're early.
-Who?
-I called you a taxi.
-Very thoughtful.
-Again?
-Why not stay?
-I have to be up early.
-Me too.
-Two or three years ago I would have stayed. And fucked you.
-You don't trust me.
-I don't trust anyone. That's what comes of working in television.
-In radio we're different.
-I might see you in Norfolk over the weekend.
-I think we're ready now, thank you. And how was Norfolk? Did you get on with my mother?
-I think she liked me.
-Did she talk about me?
-Do you think she's invited you up for her sake or for mine?
-I haven't really thought about it.
-I haven't seen much of you.
-No. It's a bit of a madhouse. For some reason a lot of my mother's friends specialise in monologues.
-Look, will you come on a walk with me tomorrow?
-I might.
-Might?
-Jeremy phoned this morning
-What did he want?
-He's making plans for Brighton. He thought we could travel down together.
-That'll be fun
-In your car
-Shall we have a drink or something?
-We don't seem to get much time to talk.
-Not here.
-To the airlift.
-To the airlift.
-Any sign of the goddess Barrington?
-Not yet you know any of these people?
-One or two. A grey lot. Some social democrats. Some diligent anti-communists. A political section man from the US Embassy. And this exquisite Californian wine, courtesy of the CIA.
-Blasé and epicene.
-C'mon. I don't want any Jones about this.
-Bastard.
-To the Fleet.
-To the Fleet.
-And the Argies.
-Now, top secret file.
-Uh-huh. Tell me what you think of this first.
-It's shit.
-You approve!
-Let me see.
-Get way. You'll see when I'm ready. First I want you to reflect on my noble behaviour, on how your interests are closest to my heart, how I lay awake at night worrying--
-Jeremy, just let me see what you've got.
-You're so hard. All right then. I was chatting to some people from the diary page, and the name of Barrington came up. I expressed an interest...
-Oh yes.
-...an innocent interest, and found out that last year Vogue ran a series called 'Mothers and Daughters' Number seven, Anne and Susan Barrington. Being a decent loving friend I went to the files and made a copy for you.
-Let me see.
-She's never written a book in it, but she clearly knew a lot.
-Mmm...
-It's obvious what you have to do. Your way into the daughter's pants is through the mother, up the Suez canal...
-You're so gross.
-She's very nice, apparently. Lives in Norfolk. And very left-wing. You'll have to watch yourself there.
-Ha ha...
-According to this, the daughter goes up to stay quiet often. You'll need to get yourself invited for the right weekend.
-You've really got it all worked out, haven't you?
-That's enough of that.
-We've been playing ten minutes for Christ sake.
-What have you been up to?
-Well, everyone's desperate for a new Falkland's angle. Purdy's come up with a real dog. Worker's rights in Argentina. So I've been running round getting people to do things. But no one's keen. Workers rights. When did anyone on that paper give a damn about workers rights? I said to Purdy, "Look, tits, bingo, jingo, horoscope, sport, celebs, gossip and the occasional firm stand
-The torture of small children--
-On the torture of very small children, but don't start telling them about their rights--
-Hold those rights.
-Fortunate that I was here to keep Susan entertained.
-Sorry. Got held up. What are you doing here?
-Delivering gossip and goodwill. It seems we'll both be doing Brighton. Perhaps you should come too.
-Perhaps I will, then.
-I'm off. Let's meet. You promised to tell me about Norfolk.
-Still in love?
-Six onion bajees! Great girl. Did you shake the mother off?
-Yes, finally.
-Big mistake, I think. You might have learned a lot.
-Susan and I are very old friends, James.
-Fuck off.
-And you were obviously getting nowhere with her. I was waiting for the right moment to tell you that.
-My God. You even cooked up that Norfolk trip.
-It might have worked. Really. I would have been delighted for you if it had. But she wasn't interested. Not my fault.
-You're a piece of shit
-Hello.
-Hello.
-I'm waiting for your mother.
-She said awfully sorry, make yourself comfortable, she won't be long. .
-Thanks.
-Why not sit down and wait?
-Okay, I will.
-She's not my mother, anyway. My mother's in Italy.
-Oh, I see.
-Have you come to talk about me?
-What period?
-Suez. 1956.
-Do you want to hear my list of English Kings and Queens?
-All right.
-It goes from Henry VIII. Henry VIII, Edward IV, Mary, Elizabeth I, James I, Charles I, Charles II, James II, William and Mary, Ann, George I, II, III and IV, Victoria, Edward VII, George V, Edward VIII, George IV, Elizabeth II.
-What about the Cromwells?
-Wait...and with talks at the United Nations still making little progress, tension and anxiety settled on MPs of all parties in Westminster. Speaking on the Jimmy Young Show earlier today, Mrs Thatcher said the prospects of a peaceful solution did not look encouraging. What is it?
-Not bad.
-Fifteen news items. I got exactly the same running order as the bulletin desk. They're all old pros.
-It's that lady from Norfolk again.
-I'm not here.
-I'm terribly sorry. He doesn't seem to be here ... No ... Yes, if I see him, I will. .. Goodbye. She's going to phone back.
-Hello, Jimmy.
-Dad.
-So how is she?
-Well, she doesn't complain much. You know what she's like. She keeps asking when you're coming...
-I'm sorry about Saturday, Dad. It was just impossible to get away.
-Everyone's been marvellous really, Jimmy. The neighbours come and sit with her while I'm at work.
-That's good.
-And Joe Ramage - do you remember him? He comes and helps out in the shop.
-Yes, you said.
-Now, are you going to have some more tea?
-No, thanks Dad.
-I've got to be going. I've got a meeting tonight.
-The bed's all made up if you want to stay.
-I just might give you a ring when we get back to London. There's one or two things I'd like to... Will you let me have your number before you leave? Have you ever watched a commercial being made?
-No.
-I'll tell you another thing. We might have led the world once into the Industrial Revolution, now we lead with television commercials. We're the best, it's as simple as that. Even the Americans will admit it now ... the camera work, the acting, the scripts, special effects. We've got the lot. Nearly all the good directors here have ambitions to make serious films. That
-Yes.
-What would you call it?
-I dunno. Ploughman's Lunch.
-Ploughman's Lunch. Traditional English fare.
-U-huh.
-Susan told me that your visits to Norfolk had ... well, an ulterior motive.
-She said that?
-You weren't really interested in Suez at all. Incredibly enough, you were interested in my wife.
-Now listen...
-Jeremy! How Fantastic.
-Darling Susan.
-You're so famous now.
-And you're so beautiful. What are you doing here?
-We're thinking of doing this current affairs thing for schools. World history since 1945. Twelve programmes, lots of stock film.
-It was last year.
-Darling Susan. You look like an angel. But where's your hat?
-Oh no!
-Don't point it at James!
-What have you got there?
-You'd look naked without one.
-We'll see what we can do.
-Promise?
-It was incredible. He came back, made a pompous little bow and said, 'My dear girl you may film me all afternoon if you wish.' And he's promised not to talk to the Press.
-It's because he desires you. The women get all the breaks at these conferences.
-It's true! I was here last year doing a piece, remember? I was in the bar with all these Northern trade unionists and their sponsored MPs. They were all incredibly fat and beery, huge trousers and braces. And so sweet. They all stood round me like children saying 'You! Working for television? You're just a young thing.' They wouldn't let me buy drinks even
-Then one of them was sick all over your new dress.
-Don't close the door. Don't turn out the hall light.
-I won't. Goodnight.
-Ah, Susy, it...
-Don't you want to walk, Tom?
-No.
-Something happened. You got nuked in the last quarter.
-Yeah, my knee got folded about 90 degrees the wrong way.
-And that's why you never went pro?
-Two years of surgery. I missed my window. Limped through law school instead.
-Mmm. A lawyer, huh? Too bad. But at least you're surfing now. So your life's not over yet, right?
-Friends of yours, huh?
-The one you decked is Bunker Wiess. The big one is his brother, Warchild. The other two always hang. They think they're some kinda death squad around here.
-What's their program?
-They're punks. Nazis. Their brains are wired wrong. They hurt surfing because they give nothing back, and they have no respect for the sea. They just want to get radical. It's mindless aggression. They'll never get it, the spiritual side of it.
-You always talk like this? You're not gonna start chanting or anything are you?
-No. So I was up the beach. I saw it going down. you didn't hesitate... they never backed you up an inch. That's rare in this world.
-Thanks for stepping in.
-Gonna be some people at my house tonight. Maybe you can make it.
-Where?
-Don't you gamble?
-So what's the biggest? Waimea?
-I gotta be fucking crazy.
-Football's a man-made game. You keep score with numbers. But in this, there's no field, no rules, no opponent. Just you and the wave.
-I know that part. Tell me something I can use, here.
-I've watched you once or twice. You surf like it's some kind of street fight. You jerk along from moment to moment, fighting everything that comes at you. Always trying to win.
-A flaw I'm working on.
-The only way to win out here is to surrender. You have to feel what the wave is doing, accept its energy, get in sync. Just feel it all moving in the blackness... you don't need to see.
-How you figure?
-One shot stopping.
-Ever done this before?
-Once.
-Pure adrenalin, right?! The ultimate rush. Other guys snort for it, jab a vein for it -- all you gotta do is jump.
-Sure, it's a blast, but listen, I sorta screwed up my knee yesterday--
-It's a little ceremony we always have at the end of summer. One last speedstar.
-So, who... uh, who packed my chute?
-I did. What's the matter? Don't trust me?
-You gotta earn trust.
-We gonna jump or jerk off?
-Utah, you copy bruddah?
-Whoooaaah! Shhiiittt! Whoooaaah!
-You gonna pull?
-Don't screw around man, pull it!
-You do it... you first!
-One thousand feet. Pull the goddamn cord!
-You first!
-What's this?
-You're a fucking dead man--
-Talk.
-You call him... right now... and tell him to let her go.
-We're wasting time.
-I can't do this.
-Sure you can! You may even like it... it's a killer rush. You'll see. Hey, don't I show you things, Johnny U?
-Bodhi, this is your wake up call, man -- I... am... an... Eff... Bee... Eye... Agent!!
-I'm not armed.
-But you're not alone.
-Where's Roach?
-Around somewhere. Listen, I'm in kind of a hurry, Johnny U. What can I do for you?
-You gotta tell me where she is.
-And let my policy expire? Sorry.
-Look, Bodhi man. People are dead. The ride is over.
-I say when it's over!
-Why should I?
-Pretty radical, Johnny. Even for you. Why don't you pull it?
-No games, Bodhi. Pull the cord! Now!!
-Go on, Johnny. Pull it. But you gotta drop the gun, first! Right?! You use your other hand what you gonna hold on with?
-Pull it right now or I'll blow your fucking head off and pull it myself!
-Three seconds... two... one...
-Wild ride, huh?
-And I always knew I could count on you, Agent Utah.
-I'm not FBI anymore.
-You never were...
-Yeah? What?
-Have you seen a little dog? Kind of a cockapoo lookin' thing. About this big.
-You sure he isn't out back? You mind if I go take a look?
-Look, I don't know anything about your dog, okay--
-Well is there anyone else here that might have seen him?
-You know less than nothing. If you even knew that you knew nothing, at least that would be something, but you don't.
-Eating solid breakfasts, Utah?
-Sir?
-All the food groups? Avoiding sugar? Caffeine? I see to it that my people maintain cardiovascular fitness. We stay off hard liquor, cigarettes...
-This is us. Bank Robbery. And you're in the bank-robbery capital of the world--
-1322 last year in LA county. Up 26 percent from the year before.
-That's right. And we nailed over a thousand of them. We did it by crunching data. Good crime-scene work, good lab work, good data-base analysis. Nobody had to tackle a car once. You getting the signal, special agent?
-You're a real blue-flame special, aren't you, Utah? I don't know why they sent you to LA. Must be an asshole shortage.
-How was the beach?
-Fine.
-Surf conditions okay?
-A little mushy.
-A little mushy! You think the taxpayers would like it, Utah, if they knew they were paying a federal agent to surf and pick up girls?
-Babes.
-What?
-Special Agent Utah, this is not some job flippin' burgers at the drive-in. Yes, the surfboard bothers me. Yes, your approach to this case bothers me. And yes, you bother me. You two have produced squat in the last two weeks, during which time the Ex- Presidents have robbed two more banks!! Do you have anything even remotely interesting to tell me?
-Three men dead. One of them a cop. How's that sit in your gut, Utah?
-They found the drop car up on Mulholland. I want you two to go work it.
-What? Now I'm working the drop car? Who's handling the scene here?
-Cole and Munoz? I been on this case for two years.
-That's the point, isn't it?
-Yeah, I get it. Time to play let's dick the old guys, huh, Harp?
-Look, Harp. Don't turn him over to the uniforms like some punk. Let me ride him in.
-Harp, let me tell you something. I was an agent in this bureau when your mommy was still wiping your shinny pink ass, and you know one thing I learned in all those years that you still haven't?
-Added to which indignity, I got three months left to retirement and they saddle me with some blue-flamer fresh out of Quantico for a partner. Some quarterback punk, Johnny Unitas or something.
-Pappas. Angelo Pappas.
-Punk. Quarterback Punk.
-Good move.
-They don't go for the vault?
-Never go for the vault. They never get greedy.
-Smart. You burn time in the vault.
-Surgical. Look at them separate the dye packs. Dick and Ronny know their jobs.
-You through, Mr. Wizard? Let me know if you find Jimmy Hoffa under the seat while you're at it. Hell, it's only 7:30. The night's still young... you can solve this case and start on another one.
-Well, what're your ideas on these guys?
-Forget about it, kid. They're ghosts. Let the goddamn yuppie Mormon affirmative action assholes handle it. See I'm almost 55... so I must be senile, right? They better get me out before I start pissing myself in public. Drooling. It would look bad for the Bureau, right?
-So you're gonna coast to retirement, when you could nail these guys and go out with come dignity.
-Sorry.
-Yeah. That was thirty years ago anyway. L.A.'s changed a lot since then. The air got dirty and the sex got clean. So you want to nail the Ex- Presidents? Be a big hero?
-Yeah. What's your theory?
-Oh well he must be a surfer.
-Candle wax. Car wax. Mustache wax? Could be anything. Guy's waxing his mustache at the beach. Gets sand in it. Wipes it off with a shoe. Shoe scuffs the counter.
-Sex wax? You're not into kinky shit, are you Angelo?
-Surfers use it on their boards. They rub sand into it for traction.
-... Four months. June to October. Mmmm...same the year before.
-Johnny, it's the only way.
-They're like some kind of tribe. Got their own language. You can't just walk up to these guys. You've got to get out there. Learn some moves. Get into their head. Pick up the speech.
-Angelo, this stuff is for little rubber people who don't shave yet.
-I think you gotta hit them straight on!
-What, you couldn't have just left the thing in your car?
-It sticks out, so I can't lock it. Look, Angelo, you think I joined the FBI to learn to surf? This was your lame-o idea in the first place. You gotta back me up on this.
-Angelo, pay attention. There's gonna be a test afterward. Lab is showing traces of toxins. PCBs. Heavy elements... selenium, titanium and arsenic.
-The beaches are always being closed because of waste spills, right? And surfers are territorial. They stick mostly to certain breaks. If we can get some hair samples, and get a match to a certain beach, we'd know which break the Ex-Presidents surf. You buyin' this?
-Big zippo so far. How about you?
-No, but there are four guys back there you might check out.
-Look, if you're gonna go leavin' your piece and your shield in the car, you can damn well stay in sight. Okay?
-... Felony B and E, three months in juvey. Better. Felony assault. Postgraduate work at Chino. Excellent. I'm lovin' it. What about the brother? Great! Another model citizen. These guys really fit the profile.
-When did Harp say they'd have the warrant?
-Did that worthless punk partner of mine ever show up?
-I'm ready to rock, Angelo. Where you want me?
-Cole and Munoz are going in the back door. Babbit is backing me. So I want you at the side window by the hedge. You're strictly backup, got it?
-Got it.
-Aw shit.
-Johnny! Uh, you, uh... should call first, you know? Hey, where the hell were you all day? You gotta at least call in or something. You okay?
-... so I started tailing him.
-This Zen master surfer.
-Bodhi, yeah. I'm on him all day, right. He goes here, he goes there, he goes to Tower Records and buys come CDs, he has lunch at Patrick's Road House... ... he goes into the Assured Trust Savings and Loan.
-Did he rob it?
-Cute. He was inside for about 20 minutes. The other guy, Roach, waited in the truck. They were scoping it out, right?!
-Yeah, or cashing a check.
-Wait, wait. Then these guys go back to their beach house and box up all their shit. Load it in Bodhi's truck and take it to a public storage unit. You see? Summer's almost over. They're splitting. They're gonna pick up a little traveling money tomorrow. The next day at the outside latest. I got a feeling.
-Last time you got a feeling I had to kill a man, which I always hate because it looks bad on the report.
-They're on their way to Maui.
-I say we call it in. Get some backup. But you gotta do it. Harp won't listen to me.
-Sure. No problem. I'll just call up and tell him his favorite agent saw this one surfer moon another surfer yesterday and it looked real suspicious. Shit, he'll probably call out the National Guard.
-I say we don't call it in. Under no circumstance are we to call this in.
-Time for lunch.
-Angelo, it's eleven thirty.
-The hell are they?!
-They took a left at the next light!
-Nothing?
-I know where they're going.
-Angelo! Don't fire!
-Kid, get outta the way!!
-What do you want?
-Shrimp and fries.
-I mean, what do you want? What are you doing hanging around here.
-I need you to teach me.
-Gimme a break. One shrimp and fries to go! Anything to drink?
-I'm serious.
-I can see that. But forget it. Stick to tennis, or whatever you're good at. Miniature golf. Here, your number's 37.
-What is it? You all of a sudden got this bug you had to go surfing? This is a line, right?
-No, no. See, all my life I've done things for other people. In high school I played football because my old man expected me to. Then my parents always figured I'd go to law school, so I did. Football scholarship. Graduated Phi Beta Kappa--
-This gonna take long?
-I came out here from Ohio a month ago. Never saw the ocean before. I didn't think it would effect me so much. Like I'm drawn to it, or something. I want to do what you do. It's the truth.
-Stop here. Do you agree to do exactly what I say when I say it?
-Nice place.
-Who's the girl?
-Catch of the day.
-Oh, oh. That sounds personal.
-People are expendable to Bodhi.
-Meaning you were expendable.
-We went out for about five minutes... which is four minutes longer than most of them. But you can't hold it against him, he's... different.
-Sure, he's "the Bodhisattva".
-Bunch of goddamn adrenaline junkies. I hope you're not buying into this banzai-bullshit like the rest of Bodhi's moonies.
-What are you talking about?
-What's goin' on?
-I can barely do this in broad daylight.
-You had enough?
-Look at you.
-What?
-Well, usually you have this sort of intense scowl of concentration, like you're doing this for a school project or something... I don't know, like something's driving you. See, it's gone. If I didn't know better I'd say you looked almost happy.
-I... I don't know. I can't describe what I'm feeling.
-Those are cold.
-I... I gotta go.
-Johnny... what's going on? I don't get it... did I do something?
-Ouch.
-Betadyne doesn't hurt.
-So what'd the other guy look like?
-Never saw him, was your basic hit and run.
-Jesus Christ, Johnny -- you've been using me! Your jacket's on the floor in the bathroom -- this goddamn thing's half out of the pocket... Oh God, it's all part of some case, isn't it?
-Tyler, put the gun down.
-I work bank robbery. Guys I'm after are surfers. I needed you, at first, but not--
-Well, I saw you and--
-Hey! Uh, how do I get back in?
-Carefully, tough guy. Very carefully.
-My name's Johnny Utah!
-Who cares!
-Bye.
-Major, looks like there were ten, maybe twelve guerrillas. Looks like they took some prisoners from the chopper. Then a different set of track, over there.
-What do you mean?
-Strange, Major. There was a firefight. Shooting in all directions.
-I can't believe Jim Hopper walked into an ambush.
-I don't believe he did, Sir. I couldn't find a single track. Just doesn't make sense.
-Billy... What the hell's wrong with you?
-You've been pushing too many Pencils, Dillon. Had enough?
-No way, old buddy.
-That piece of work you guys pulled off at the Berlin embassy last week was really something. Blew the entry points on three floors and neutralized the opposition in eight seconds flat. Beautiful.
-Like the old days, Dillon.
-Wasn't my style. We're a rescue unit, not assassins. This must be good. Big shot from the CIA, leaves his desk to come back to the bush. What's so important?
-Those cabinet members are very important to our scope of operations in this part of the world. They're about to get squeezed. We can't let that happen. I needed someone who could get the job done, quick and quiet... no screw-ups. I needed the best. The best. So, I pulled a few strings at the State Department... and here we are.
-Our rendezvous points and radio freqs. are indicated and fixed. AWACS contact on four hour intervals.
-Who's our back-up on this?
-No such thing, old buddy. It's a one way ticket. Once we cross that border, we're on our own.
-You don't know how much I missed this, Dutch!!! Once you get this in your blood, you never get it out!!!
-Billy's on it. Heat seeker. Pretty sophisticated for half-asses mountain boys.
-Mean anything to you?
-I knew this man. Green Berets, out of Fort Bragg. What the hell were they doing in here? You got any answers for this, Dillon?
-Jesus... this is inhuman. Uh... I wasn't told of any operations in this area. They shouldn't have been here.
-It was all bullshit. All of it. From the start... you set us up, got us in here to do your dirty work.
-That's right, I set you up. You're a veteran at this, Dutch, I had to.
-Why us?
-Because I told you, you're the best. I knew you could do it but I couldn't get you in here without a cover story.
-What story did you give to Davis?
-She's too valuable. She's got to know their whole network. The whole set up. We take her with us.
-Blain... ... Just like the others... no powder burns, no shrapnel.
-We're still too far in, they won't risk coming in for us.
-Expendable assets, Dillon. Seems Langley is never around when you need them.
-I can accept that, it comes with the job.
-You're wastin' your time.
-What the hell do you think you're doing?
-We're going to need everyone.
-What are you talking about? We'll be out of here in ten minutes.
-We're not going.
-He'll be looking for the trip wires. If we're lucky, he won't see this.
-No way, Dutch. I'm going. You get these people and get the hell out of here.
-This isn't your style, Dillon.
-Guess I've picked up some bad habits from you, Dutch. Now don't argue with me, you know I'm right. Get to that chopper and hold it for us. We'll be along.
-I'll see you there.
-Thanks.
-Don't know, only saw one of 'em. Camouflaged. He was there... ... Those fucking eyes...
-What, Sergeant?
-Take a position over there. I'll work around towards you. When I flush him, you nail him...
-... Right, I got a score to settle for the Bro...
-Any sign of the hostages?
-What's got Billy so spooked?
-You saw what?
-Put him in his poncho and liner and carry him back. We'll bury him in the morning.
-We've got most of the flares, frags. and two claymores just outside. Nothin's comin' close to here without trippin' on somethin'.
-I'm sorry, Bull. It's never easy. He was a good soldier.
-You're looking well, Dutch.
-That's over the border, General.
-What have you got in mind, General.
-You lift off in three hours. There's one other thing.
-What's that, General?
-Took 'em out with a heat seeker.
-There's something else, Major...
-Mmmnnn...?
-What's he got?
-Major, you'd better take a look at this.
-Hawkins?
-What in God's name...?
-I think it's Hawkins.
-Where the hell is his body?
-How could anyone get through this, carry Blain out, right under our noses without leavin' a trace?
-He knows our defenses.
-Georgia.
-No wonder. For starts, you should know that hot pants are <u>horrid</u>, even when you do have the legs to carry them off. What are your plans while you're in town?
-Well... I might be going out to dinner.
-You'll want a cocktail dress then. Turn. You have a beautiful figure. A little too out in the open but simply lovely. Size six? Do you need shoes?
-I dunno. Do thigh high, leather boots go with a cocktail dress?
-Your uncle will like this.
-He's not really my uncle.
-Mr. Harris, we know you've purchased at least twenty percent of our stock. We also know you plan to file a formal bid for a majority share.
-We're on the verge of closing a large navy contract. Double is ridiculous but we can assure you a healthy profit on your shares. We would give you a promissory note...
-There's no way you could know that.
-We can reach an understanding on this.
-I don't think so. You should know we're going to fight you with every resource we have.
-Do what you have to do. I don't take it personally.
-I like your hat.
-Huh? Oh... yeah. S'okay? Uhm... how're... business things going.
-Let's not talk about it, it's too depressing. Come on, I'll show you Thunder.
-Please, we hardly know each other.
-Hey, big guy, you getting tired, yet? I am. This is Vivian. You two been together long? You and Edward?
-No.
-It's... it's not like that.
-You don't know anything about me.
-What's that long building over there?
-Storage, I think.
-The real estate possibilities are endless. Most of the yard we'll just level. I talked to a couple of developers, under the table, of course, and they said --
-You what?
-Congratulations, sir.
-What?
-Who are you going after next, sir?
-What would it take to buy our stock back? Name your price.
-Mr. Kross, I'm not here to sell you my stock. On the contrary, I'm here to buy yours.
-You've got a lot of nerve.
-No. What I have is a lot of money.
-I know all about you, Mr. Harris. When you buy companies, they have a way of disappearing. Even the pension funds are stripped clean. The last three companies you took over were cut up in so many pieces, widows were left without their retirement checks.
-What I did with those companies was perfectly legal.
-I don't question the legality of what you do. It's your morality that makes me sick. I will not allow my company to be raped by a man like you.
-Mr. Harris.
-How are you, Mr. Kross.
-Yes. I'm here to tell you that I've reconsidered my position on your acquisition offer.
-<u>Expected</u>... offer.
-Of course, yes. After the <u>expected</u> filing period is over, I'm going to recommend to the board that we accept your bid.
-Stop. For just a moment. Mr. Kross, I'd like to ask you a few questions <u>before</u> you sign. You realize that you're a target. If you weren't mine, you'd be someone elses, correct?
-Yes.
-I... I would take advantage of it.
-I... I don't know. There... there wasn't time...
-Quiet. Would I get the loans?
-This time I imagine you would, yes. Hmm... With all this in mind, Mr. Kross, I can't logically make a formal bid on your company, can I?
-You'd be initiating a financial battle you'd ultimately lose, Mr. Harris.
-Hey Sugar, you lookin' for a date?
-What's that?
-You looking' for some company?
-Uh, no. How do I get to Beverly Hills?
-What? You gonna tell me you're lost?
-Yes.
-No, you look like a hooker.
-Actually, I'm a movie star out for a walk.
-Good. Can you tell me how to get to Beverly Hills?
-Sure. For five bucks.
-That's ridiculous.
-The price just went up to ten.
-Why don't you just do it out of the kindness of your heart?
-Sit... and spin.
-Nice car. Yours?
-No.
-Stolen?
-Mind if I turn on some heat?
-Very good. You're obviously mechanical.
-You're not from L.A., huh?
-New York.
-What motel you staying at?
-<u>Ho</u>tel.
-Okay, what <u>ho</u>tel?
-Regent Beverly Wilshire. I bet you know it.
-What's your name?
-What do you want it to be? Vivian, my name's Vivian.
-You like being a hooker, Vivian?
-It pays.
-So do day jobs.
-Must be dangerous. Hooking.
-Tell me about it. L.A. is suffering from a wacko epidemic. And who knows where half the guys I pick up have been. I mean, I use condoms. Always. And I get checked out once a month at the free clinic. Not only am I better in the sack than an amateur, I'm probably safer.
-Very good. You ought to have that printed up on your business card.
-If you're making fun of me, I don't like it.
-Ugly habit, biting your nails.
-What do you charge for company, Vivian?
-Company would cost you... a hundred dollars.
-For the whole night?
-For an hour.
-You're joking.
-I never joke about money.
-No, but it's getting there.
-Vivian, how much to put up with me for the entire night?
-Three hundred.
-Fine.
-What's your name, lover.
-Edward. My name is Edward.
-Get in. This side.
-What?
-Better believe it.
-My raincoat's in the back. Put it on.
-Why?
-You may feel more comfortable. This is not the kind of place that rents rooms by the hour.
-You mean they don't have hookers.
-Every place has hookers, but if this hotel has hookers, they don't look like they're...
-Off the boulevard.
-Room service. What do you drink?
-Diet coke.
-Send up a bottle of Crystal champagne.
-Can I have some chips?
-Want to know something? I don't quite know. I hadn't planned this.
-Do you plan everything?
-Always.
-Well, the meter's running, it's your money. Speaking of which, cash'll do. In advance.
-Let's talk some more first.
-Right. So! In town on business?
-Uh-huh.
-Let me guess, you're a... lawyer.
-And why do you say that?
-Sounds like you've known a lot of lawyers.
-I think he wanted you to tip him.
-Where are they? Shopping together?
-It's a very good year.
-Try a strawberry.
-Why?
-Because they bring out the flavor of the champagne.
-Jesus, you act like you're seducing some Valley girl you picked up in a dance club.
-You really are a very beautiful girl.
-Just a romantic, that's you.
-What do you like?
-Good morning.
-You didn't wake me. I'll be out of here in a minute.
-Did you sleep well?
-Yeah. Too good. I forgot where I was.
-Where'd you go?
-I took the couch. I had some work to do. About last night...
-Oooh, Baby, you were the best. I was beside myself.
-Mmm, I could tell.
-I just hope it was worth three hundred bucks.
-Do you ever... enjoy it?
-I like guys if that's what you're asking. Not that I trust'm.
-No? Why's that?
-I buy companies.
-The one I'm buying this week will cost around 150 million.
-So what a ya do with the companies once you buy'm?
-I sell them.
-By breaking up a company's assets --
-What are assets?
-Vivian --
-C'mon, I might buy a company some day.
-Assets are anything of value a company owns. Sometimes the pieces are worth more than the whole. By selling them off, I make a profit.
-Sorta like stealing cars and selling'm for parts, huh?
-Not... quite.
-There, see? Now the emblem is right in the middle of the knot.
-Where'd you learn to do this?
-I fucked the debate team in high school. Tsk. I had a grampa. He liked ties on Sundays. You mind if I take a swim in your bathtub before I hit it?
-All right. How much for the week?
-What?
-It'd cost you.
-Of course. How much?
-Four thousand.
-Vivian, may I point out five more nights at three hundred a night is only 1,500.
-But you want days too.
-All right, two thousand.
-Three.
-Done.
-I'm not just talking about sex.
-Look butthead, I'll treat you so nice you'll never want to let me go, okay?
-Never answer the phone. Ever.
-Tsk, believe me, this will be the last time.
-Did you buy some clothes?
-I got a dress, yeah.
-Just one? Christ... I hope it's appropriate.
-It's very tasteful. I think you'll especially like the zipper in the crotch. I'm -- joking.
-Let's hope so. You'll get some more clothes tomorrow. I'll be pushed for time so meet me in the hotel lobby at seven forty-five sharp. Got it?
-No, I don't "got it". Even the farmboys back in Georgia come to the door when they're taking you on a date.
-This isn't a date.
-Go by yourself then. Where you taking me anyway?
-The Rex.
-Any good?
-I think you'll approve.
-... all right. I'll meet you in the lobby. But only cause you're paying me to.
-Hello?
-I thought I told you not to answer the phone.
-I'm sorry.
-And that's the way the game is played.
-You're upset, huh?
-Upset. No. I never get upset about business.
-You liked the guy, though.
-Whether I liked him or not is irrelevant. It's business. There's no emotion involved in business... if you want to survive.
-Know what we're gonna do in a little while then? We're gonna call Domino's and have'm deliver a bigass pizza. We're gonna eat it in bed. We're gonna veg' out and watch television.
-Television?
-Yeah, it's this box, it has pictures, sound. You don't have to use your brain at all.
-I have work to do.
-I still don't understand why you only bought one dress.
-I wasn't as much fun as I thought it was going to be.
-Why not?
-Well, you know those cold bitches that work in those stores and try to intimidate you? It works.
-Was someone rude to you?
-I had a little problem in one store. I wasn't dressed right. I don't know what to say. I don't belong there. Maybe I'll just go back to Bridget. She was cool.
-Okay.
-Good.
-I thought maybe you'd like dinner.
-Thank you. I would. Nice.
-Wait till you see what I have on underneath.
-What about dinner?
-You always been rich?
-No.
-Seems like it. I guess it's easy to get used to, huh?
-Keep talkin'. I like hearin'.
-You still mad at'm?
-You're really pushing it, bringing me here.
-I think it's exciting.
-What id we run into someone I know?
-I really doubt anyone here frequents Hollywood Boulevard.
-Real genuine guy.
-He's good at what he does.
-You could freeze ice on his wife's ass. She anything like your ex?
-Edward, these women here, I don't think any of'm like the guys they're with. They're just into it for the money.
-I'm sure that's true for some of them.
-I thought I was the pro. These women make me feel like an amateur.
-You asshole! I can't believe what a --!
-Clean the slut up, take her out, huh?! What are you trying to prove!? I'm not a piece of meat for you to offer to your friends!
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-I've been with stinking old men who've made me want to puke but I've never had anyone make me feel as dirty as you did tonight.
-Would you please calm down. Tell me what happened.
-What was I supposed to do? I told the truth. Why should the truth upset you? It's not as if you're from a convent.
-I want my fucking money. I'm getting out of here. I don't want anything more to do with you.
-Can we talk about this? Can you just try to calm down?
-Well, it's true. Just pay me what you owe me and I'm gone.
-Vivian...
-Pay me! Before I pick up this chair and smash your face in.
-Fine. I'm only here a couple of more days and I'm not going to spend them fighting with you.
-Fuck off.
-Vivian... I'm sorry. I wasn't prepared for questions about us. It was an idiotic and insensitive thing I did. I should have known that it would hurt you.
-I'm not hurt. It doesn't hurt you when somebody pisses on you, it just pissed you off.
-Do I look okay?
-What's that?
-Edward, I can't.
-Shush. Of course you can.
-What if I lose it?
-You won't.
-What if someone tries to steal it?
-You don't want to go all the way to San Francisco in a limousine, do you? I don't.
-Where are you taking me!?
-To meet some friends. Rudolpho, a poet... Benoit, a landlord... Mimi, a flower maker...
-Huh?
-I've never been on a plane before.
-Sorry. You're not paying me to ask you question like that.
-Vivian. I'm paying you to be you. Be you. Have you? Ever been in love with anyone?
-You mean, besides Elvis? I'm a human being. Sure. Once. First time I ever ran away from home, I got as far as Atlanta. I met this boy. He'd been with his parents on their way to Chicago. They stopped at a gas station. He went to the john. When he came back they'd split. We sorta started looking out for each other. Aw,
-If it's in Italian, how will I know what they're saying?
-I'll whisper some of the main parts of the story to you. But you'll be surprised how much you understand. The music conveys the story more powerfully than any words.
-But don't they have it in English?
-If you'd gone on about how much you liked it, I'm not sure I'd have believed you.
-I more than liked it.
-I know. I'm glad.
-Did you?
-One more night and you're finally rid of me.
-Yeah, you've been pretty tough to take.
-What else? You gonna leave some cash by the bed when you pass through town?
-It wouldn't be like that. I want to get you off the street. You'll have a different kind of life. What's wrong with that?
-Vivian, I've thought about this a lot. This is the best solution.
-Vivian, life's not a fairy tale.
-I know. Hey, don't mind me. I'm being stupid. I'll think about it, okay? It's a real good offer for a whore.
-I've never treated you like a whore.
-What did you do to him?
-What do you mean?
-Last time I saw him he was this strong guy. Now he's beaten. And you <u>liked him</u>.
-Vivian, I want you to listen to me. The man realized that it would be better for his future and his son's future, if he cooperated.
-Right.
-It's not your concern. It's... business, that's all.
-Business.
-Yes. The man made a business decision.
-It's all just business to you. Him. Me. Your life. Everything's business.
-Why do guys always know how to hit a woman? Right across the cheek, wham, so it feels like your eye is gonna explode. What do they do, take you all aside in high school and show you how? It pisses me off!
-Not all men hit. And no one is going to hit you anymore.
-Right. You're quite the Sir Galahad today, aren't ya'? I heard what you did with Kross.
-I got tired of hating my father.
-It was good.
-You're packing.
-Aw, don't... no...
-Stay with me tonight. Not because you're being paid to. Stay with me because you want to.
-I didn't think so.
-Vivian...
-Barnard Thomas, manager of the hotel.
-Of course, yes. If you'll excuse me just a moment --
-I have a message for you from your "niece", sir.
-My what?
-Mr. Harris, a guest of yours, is a guest of ours and shall be treated accordingly. The young lady asked me to tell you that she is waiting for you in the lounge.
-Good afternoon, Mr. Harris.
-What's up, where you going?
-Give me your car keys, will you, I'm going back to my hotel.
-At least stay for a drink. This party's for you.
-Listen, there're some major local talent inside just dying to meet you...
-Really? Some high class gold digger who speaks French better than I do? No, thank you. I just got off the phone with one.
-Cynthia's not coming?
-Love this car! Is it new?
-I want to.
-Edward, if the three of us sit down together we might as well announce our plans in the Wall Street Journal.
-I'll see him alone. Everyone knows you're my muscle. We'll make it social. Tell Kross I'll meet him for dinner. Tonight if you can arrange it.
-You shouldn't go alone. He might claim that you tried to black mail him.
-Bill, we're businessmen, not the damn mafia. I'll see you in the office. By the way, about your car...
-Oh, god, what?
-Edward, did you hear me?
-I'm here.
-What!?
-What time's diner tonight?
-Eight o'clock. Kross is bringing his son. Very bright kid, watch yourself with him. Who's this girl you're taking?
-Goddamit! Where is he getting the money to fight?
-Someone's loaning it to him. Get on it right away.
-Put the pension funds on hold until I say otherwise.
-We're letting them slide?
-I want the treatment plant licenses to be top priority right now.
-But, Edward...
-Excuse me for saying this but what is wrong with you this week? First, you go soft on the pension funds. Now, you're giving him the chance to get away? As of two minutes ago, you are committed to the tune of over fifty million dollars --
-Come on, Bill, don't talk to me about how much money's involved. It's my money.
-Bill, I'd like you to meet Vivian.
-Fill me in on this. How'd you and Vivian meet?
-We just did.
-Come on, you can tell me. I sure would like to know where a guy runs into a girl as attractive as this.
-The night I left your house, I was lost. I was looking for directions.
-And you just happened to run into her. Great. What's she do? She work?
-Yes...
-Doing what?
-Vivian's in sales.
-Why do you want to know?
-She met him at dinner last night... I like this tie.
-So now they're best friends? Edward, this girl appears out of nowhere and now I see her talking to a guy whose company we're trying to buy. It's too convenient.
-You're being ridiculous.
-Industrial espionage is not ridiculous. Edward, how do you know she hasn't attached herself to you so she can bring Kross back information?
-This is no time to disappear. We're in too far.
-Bill? Stop panicking. Kross isn't going anywhere and I don't need to spend the rest of the day watching his stock go down. I'll be in the office tomorrow.
-Promise me you'll read those contracts by then.
-Did I wake you?
-I'm up.
-I had to call. I jus got off the phone with James Kross. Get this. He wants to see you. Today.
-Why?
-He wouldn't say. Edward... I think we got him. His nuts are on the block and <u>we got him</u>. You there?
-Give me twenty minutes.
-I don't think there's any sense in --
-Oh, my god... Edward, no!
-I suppose you'd use them as collateral on new loans, wouldn't you?
-What!?
-You broke my nose.
-I think I broke my hand. You're fired.
-Edward, we've been together ten years.
-And I don't like what we've become. I'll cover any losses you have on this one. Now get out, you asshole!
-All this because of that whore!
-You spent it on drugs, didn't you?
-Carlos had some great rock.
-We worked for that money. We were gonna put together enough to get out of that dump we live in, get off this street.
-I just saw somebody pulled out of a dumpster. I wonder how much she made tonight?
-Don't be mad at me. I'll pay you back. I promise.
-I thought you were giving up that drug shit.
-I will. I'm trying. Meanwhile I got some crack left, you wanna get high?
-No, let's go to work. Okay?
-Looks slow tonight.
-Maybe we should get a pimp. Carlos likes you and --
-I can't handle this tonight. I'm going home.
-That crack is burning a hole in your pocket. There isn't even milk in the fridge. The rent's due. Now come on --
-Hey, hey -- There's a rent.
-'Lo.
-Kit! Where've you been?
-I was asleep. You woke me. You okay?
-Kit, listen, the guy last night, the one in the Ferrari, I'm at this hotel, the Regent Beverly Wilshire, it's this absolutely unbelievable place and he's hired me for a whole week and Kit, listen, he's paying me three thousand bucks! We can get out of the apartment. We can get out of this town. We can do anything! Kit? Hey, you there?
-He... he just does.
-I'm sorry, Viv'. Carlos has been on my back. Did you get the money up front like I taught ya'?
-Three hundred for last night and he gave me extra to buy some clothes. Now listen, I'm gonna leave an envelope for you at the front desk. Give me two hundred to the scum bucket and the other hundred to that asshole landlord for part of the rent. Spend it on drugs and I'll pull your hair out.
-I'm getting dressed now. I'll be over. Bye.
-Hey Kit, where do I go for the clothes? Good stuff on <u>him</u>.
-In Beverly Hills?
-Yeah.
-Yes, I'm glad you're clean but I've been calling and calling.
-Was that you?
-Who did you think?
-Carlos. I still owe him two hundred bucks...
-Kit, I left that money for you days ago.
-Kit...
-Everybody keeps starin' at me.
-Yeah... I know what you mean.
-What do you know? You look <u>good</u>. All dressed up. You clean up real nice. You sure don't fit in down on the Boulevard, lookin' like you do. Not that you ever did anyway.
-You think I fit here where they just about chew your food for you?
-I kissed him, Kit. On the mouth.
-Honey, you're not supposed to do that.
-I know. I stopped pretending and started liking it with him for real.
-Oh, my god, you mean it was good?
-It was great.
-Dummy.
-He wants to set me up in a place, give me some money.
-I pray for that.
-All I'm doing is feeling lousy about it. I don't know what to do. What do I do, Kit?
-Go for the bucks.
-I don't care about bucks. I might love this guy.
-So whatta' you going to do in San Francisco?
-Get a job and probably go back to school. Figure out what I'm gonna be.
-What kind of school?
-School, school. Regular. I used to get pretty good grades in school, you know.
-Want a pair of boots?
-You sure you won't come with me?
-Couple a hours.
-Yeah. Well... I gotta split. Goodbye's make me crazy.
-Cool your jets a second. Here's some money.
-No. You took care of rent, that's enough.
-I want to. For food, got it? Eat something before the wind blows you away.
-Yeah, what?
-Rent. You're late.
-Don't give me that. Kit gave it to you yesterday, cash.
-Kit give me nothin'.
-You bullshittin' me?
-Housekeeping. I come to turn down the bed. 5:00, I turn down the bed.
-<u>Housekeeping</u>. I come to turn down the bed.
-Is that all? You just fold back the bedspread?
-I also place las chocolates on the pillow.
-Oooh, I love those.
-I leave extras, miss.
-I'm just going to my room.
-You're a guest here?
-I'm -- I'm with a friend.
-And who is that?
-What's your name?
-Vivian.
-Niece?
-I got a dress.
-I rather hoped you'd be wearing it.
-I didn't want to get it messed. I got shoes too. Wanna see?
-That's all right. I'm sure they're quite lovely.
-What is it, Miss Vivian?
-Edward is taking me to some fancy place for dinner. The Rex. Ever been there?
-It's a bit beyond my... range, shall we say.
-Yeah, mine too. Is it like, y'know, normal?
-I think you'll find it normal enough.
-Will I like it?
-You'll like it fine.
-In fifteen minutes I can teach you everything you need to know to dine with the Queen. First, as you pick up the knife you shift your fork to the left hand.
-But I always eat like this.
-Either you're European or badly brought up.
-Hmmm... I vonder vich.
-Actually, some of the richest people I know have the worst manners. Of course, Mr. Harris, being of old money, knows his way around a table. All right now, pay attention please. Salad fork.
-What if they serve soup?
-They will serve salad.
-But what if they serve soup?
-Then you use your <u>soup spoon</u>.
-I like steak.
-Then you would use your--
-Miss Vivian --
-Maybe I'll just order a burger, Barney, that way I can eat with my hands.
-Miss Vivian... there's a salon here in the hotel. Instead of worrying unnecessarily about table manners, why don't you just have your hair done instead?
-Barnard Thomas here. Miss Vivian, I wonder if you might come down to the front desk. There's someone here to see you.
-Me?
-Hi, Barney!
-Miss Vivian.
-Look I just wanted to say goodbye.
-Mr. Harris doesn't check out until tomorrow.
-Yeah, well, I check out today.
-You're not accompanying him to New York?
-Come on, Barney, you and me live in the real world. You don't know how to treat a girl like anything but a lady, Mr. Thomas.
-May I help you?
-Are you looking for something in particular?
-Yes. Something... conservative.
-You have beautiful things. How much is this?
-I don't think it would fit you.
-I didn't ask if it would fit. I asked how much it was.
-What is with you?
-Excuse me?
-I'm going to spend <u>money</u>.
-Would you like to try it on?
-Yes?
-Do you remember me?
-No, I'm sorry, I don't.
-Having a good time, Vivian?
-Yeah. Thanks.
-What?
-Yeah. Sure. Why not. Call me at the Regent Beverly Wilshire.
-Do you want to know what he did? Do you want to know what the crazy son of a bitch did? He handed the whole thing back to Kross! On a silver platter. For no reason! What was he thinking, I mean, what was going through his goddam head? Why? What was all that benevolent crap? What are we going to become, a philanthropic
-I bet. A lousy whore and you're the gum in a hundred million dollar deal.
-Get out!
-Don't even think -- -- don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. And don't dream of being rescued either. The only way in is secret. And only the Prince, the Count, and I know how to get in and out.
-Then I'm here till I die?
-Till they kill you. Yeah.
-Then why bother curing me?
-The Prince and the Count always insist on everyone being healthy before they're broken.
-You don't believe me?
-If we surrender, and I return with you, will you promise not to hurt this man?
-May I live a thousand years and never hunt again.
-He is a sailor on the pirate ship "Revenge." Promise to return him to his ship.
-My Westley will always come for me.
-He will come for me.
-Ah! My dulcet darling. Tonight we marry. Tomorrow morning, your men will escort us to Florin Channel where every ship in my armada waits to accompany us on our honeymoon.
-Every ship but the four you sent.
-You never sent the ships. Don't bother lying. It doesn't matter. Westley will come for me anyway.
-You're a silly girl.
-Yes, I am a silly girl, for not having seen sooner that you were nothing but a coward with a heart full of fear.
-I-would-not-say-such things-if- Iwere-you-
-You don't seem excited, my little muffin.
-Should I be?
-Brides often are, I'm told.
-I killed him myself.
-Who are you?
-To think -- all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
-Catch your breath.
-If you'll release me ... whatever you ask for ransom ... you'll get it, I promise you...
-And what is that worth, the promise of a woman? You're very funny, Highness.
-I was giving you a chance. No matter where you take me ... there's no greater hunter than Prince Humperdinck. He could track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can find you
-I never said he was my dearest love. And yes, he will save me. That I know.
-You admit to me you do not love your fiance?
-He knows I do not love him.
-"Are not capable of love" is what you mean.
-Rest, Highness.
-You're the Dread Pirate Roberts; admit it.
-With pride. What can I do for you?
-You can die slowly cut into a thousand pieces.
-On the high seas, your ship attacked, and the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners.
-I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it's nothing but work, work, work, all the time.
-You mock my pain!
-Does it bother you to hear?
-Nothing you can say will upset me.
-I asked him what was so important for him. "True love," he replied. And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are.
-And what am I?
-Faithfulness he talked of, madam. Your enduring faithfulness. Now, tell me truly. When you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?
-... as ... you ... wish...
-Farm boy. Polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
-Farm Boy. Fill these with water -- --please.
-I fear I'll never see you again.
-Of course you will.
-But what if something happens to you?
-Hear this now: I will come for you.
-But how can you be sure?
-Can you move at all?
-Move? You're alive. If you want, I can fly.
-I told you, "I would always come for you." Why didn't you wait for me?
-Well ... you were dead.
-Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
-I will never doubt again.
-We'll never survive.
-Singed a bit, were you?
-This will all soon be but a happy memory because Roberts' ship "Revenge" is anchored at the far end. And I, as you know, am Roberts.
-But how is that possible, since he's been marauding twenty years and you only left me five years ago?
-Finally, Roberts decided something. He said, "All right, Westley, I've never had a valet. You can try it for tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Three years he said that. "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." It was a fine time for me. I was learning to fence, to fight, anything anyone
-We'll never succeed -- we may as well die here.
-I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurts. No problem. There's a popping sound preceding each, we can avoid that. Two, the Lightning Sand. But you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
-Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
-We did it.
-Oh, Westley, darling. Westley, why won't you hold me?
-Gently.
-At a time like this that's all you can think to say? "Gently?"
-Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
-What hideous sin have you committed lately?
-I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.
-It never happened.
-What?
-But it did. I was there. This old man said, "Man and wife."
-Did you say, "I do"?
-Well, no, we sort of skipped that part.
-I did that on purpose. I don't have to miss.
-I believe you -- So what happens now?
-We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
-You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?
-Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
-Look are you just fiddling around with me or what?
-You're quick.
-And a good thing too.
-Why is that, do you think?
-Why should that make such a difference?
-It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Guilder.
-Who's Guilder?
-Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
-I've hired you to help me start a war. That's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.
-I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
-No more rhymes now, I mean it.
-I only dog paddle.
-Faster!
-I thought I was going faster.
-You were supposed to be this colossus. You were this great, legendary thing. And yet he gains.
-Well, I'm carrying three people. And he's got only himself.
--- I do not accept excuses. I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all.
-You be careful. -- people in masks cannot be trusted.
-Give her to me. Catch up with us quickly.
-What do I do?
-Finish him, finish him. Your way.
-Probably he means no harm.
-He's really very short on charm.
-Oh, you've a great gift for rhyme.
-FEZZIK, are there rocks ahead?
-Hello.
-It's you.
-You don't look so good. You don't smell so good either.
-Perhaps not. I feel fine.
-He's with the Prince in the Castle. But the castle gate is guarded by thirty men.
-How many could you handle?
-I don't think more than ten.
-No -- not Vizzini -- I need the Man in Black --
--- what? --
--- look, he bested you with strength, your greatness. He bested me with steel. He must have outthought Vizzini, and a man who can do that can plan my castle's onslaught any day. Let's go --
--- where?
-To find the Man in Black, obviously.
-But you don't know where he is.
-The Man in Black?
--- Fezzik, please --
-Well, we Montoyas have never taken defeat easily. Come along, Fezzik. Bring the body.
-The body?
-Have you any money?
-I have a little.
-Inigo -- there's more than thirty --
-What's the difference? We've got him. Help me here. We'll have to force feed him.
-Has it been fifteen minutes?
-Tilt his head back. Open his mouth.
-You've been mostly dead all day.
-Where did we put that wheelbarrow the Albino had?
-Will this do?
-Where did you get that?
-Don't pester him, he's had a hard day.
-Inigo.
-What?
-He's getting away from me, Fezzik. Please. FEZZIK!
-I brought you a special present.
-What is it?
-A book?
-That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today, I'm gonna read it to you.
-It doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.
-Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley, but she never called him that. Isn't that a wonderful beginning?
-Yeah. It's really good.
--hold it, hold it-
-What is this? Are you trying to trick me? -- Where's the sports? -- Is this a kissing book?
--- wait, just wait --
--- well, when does it get good?
-It was a very emotional time for Buttercup --
-Westley didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got the news that Westley was murdered --
-What?
-The Eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to you because you looked nervous.
-Well, maybe I was a little bit concerned. But that's not the same thing.
-Because I can stop now if you want.
-Oh no. No, please.
-They're kissing again, do we have to hear the kissing part?
-Someday, you may not mind so much.
-Skip on to the Fire Swamp -- that sounded good.
-You read that wrong. She doesn't marry Humperdinck, she marries Westley. I'm just sure of it. After all that Westley did for her, if she does not marry him, it wouldn't be fair.
-Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.
-I'm telling you you're messing up the story, now get it right!
-Do you want me to go on with this?
-Yes.
-It was ten days till the wedding. The King still lived, but Buttercup's nightmares were growing steadily worse.
-See? Didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Humperdinck?
-Westley's only faking, right?
-You want me to read this or not?
-Who gets Humperdinck?
-I don't understand.
-Who kills Prince Humperdinck? At the end, somebody's got to do it. Is it Inigo? Who?
-No! I'm okay. I'm okay. -- sit down. All right?
-What? What?
-No, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.
-Now I think you ought to go to sleep.
-Okay.
-Maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
-Yellin.
-Sire.
-As Chief Enforcer of all Florin, I trust you with this secret: killers from Guilder are infiltrating the Thieves' Forest and plan to murder my bride on our wedding night.
-She will not be murdered. On the day of the wedding, I want the Thieves' Forest emptied and every inhabitant arrested.
-Many of the thieves will resist. My regular enforcers will be inadequate.
-Form a Brute Squad then. I want the Thieves' Forest emptied before I wed.
-It won't be easy, Sire.
-Rise and report.
-The Thieves' Forest is emptied. Thirty men guard the castle gate.
-Double it. My Princess must be safe.
-You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
-I give you full marks for bravery --don't make yourself a fool.
-Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the Fire Swamp. We can live there quite happily for some time. So, whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.
-I tell you once again -- surrender!
-For the last time -- SURRENDER!
-A technicality that will shortly be remedied. But first things first. To the death.
-No. To the pain.
-I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
-I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon.
--- and then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
-I wasn't finished -- the next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right --
--- and then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it
-There was a mighty duel -- it ranged all over. They were both masters.
-Who won? How did it end?
-The loser ran off alone. The winner followed those footprints toward Guilder!
-Shall we track them both?
-Could this be a trap?
-Once we're out of sight, take him back to Florin and throw him in the Pit of Despair.
-She's been like that ever since the Fire Swamp. It's my father's failing health that's upsetting her.
-I could never cause you grief; consider our wedding off. You returned this Westley to his ship?
-Yes.
-Your Princess is really a winning creature. A trifle simple, perhaps, but her appeal is undeniable.
-Now, where is that secret knot? It's impossible to find. Are you coming down into the Pit? Westley's got his strength back. I am starting him on The Machine tonight.
-Your guess is as good as mine --
-Who are you? -- Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? -- Where's Buttercup? --
-Buttercup is marrying Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour, so all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the Princess, make our escape after I kill Count Rugen.
-And it is guarded by sixty men.
-And our assets?
-Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place? What I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.
-Why? You can't even lift one.
-True, but that's hardly common knowledge, is it? Thank you. Now, there may be problems once we're inside.
-Now?
-Now?
-Where's Fezzik?
-I thought he was with you.
-No.
-You know, it's very strange -- I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
-Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
-No --
--- yes --
--- all that I have and more please --
--- offer me everything I ask for --
--- anything you want --
-What? What?
-Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the King all those years?
-Look, I'm retired. And besides, why would you want someone the King's stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanted me to miracle.
-He's already dead.
-Sir. Sir.
-Hah?
-We're really in a terrible rush.
-Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. You got money?
-Sixty-five.
-This is noble, sir. His wife is crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation.
-Are you a rotten liar.
-I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years.
-He's dead. He can't talk.
-Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead...well, with all dead, there's usually only one thing that you can do.
-True love. You heard him. You could not ask for a more noble cause than that.
-Humiliations galore!
-Thank you for everything.
-Slow going?
-Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
-Sorry.
-I do not suppose you could speed things up?
-I could do that. In fact, I've got some rope up here. But I do not think that you will accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
-But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
-That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
-I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
-You don't know any way you'll trust me?
-We'll wait until you're ready.
-Do you always begin conversations this way?
-How old were you?
-I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the sixfingered man and say, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
-You've done nothing but study swordplay?
-More pursuit than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
-Well, I certainly hope you find him, someday.
-You are ready, then?
-You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
-You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
-I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain --
-You are wonderful!
-I admit it -- you are better than I am.
-Because I know something you don't know.
-And what is that?
-You're amazing!
-There's something I ought to tell you.
-Tell me.
-Who are you?!
-No one of consequence.
-I must know.
-Get used to disappointment.
-Kill me quickly.
-Making sure nobody's following us.
-Stop doing that. We can all relax, it's almost over-
-You're sure nobody's following us?
-As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done. And no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
-No reason. It's only, I just happened to look behind us, and something is there.
-Go in, get after her!
-Look! He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.
-He's climbing the rope. And he's gaining on us.
-He didn't fall? Inconceivable!!
-I want to duel him left-handed.
-You know what a hurry we're in.
-Well, it's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right -- tch -- over too quickly.
-Let me explain-
-Perhaps an arrangement can be reached.
-But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.
-I'm afraid so -- I can't compete with you physically. And you're no match for my brains.
-You're that smart?
-Let me put it this way: have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
-Yes.
-Morons.
-Really? In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
-I accept.
-Inhale this, but do not touch.
-I smell nothing.
-What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man.
-Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I
-You've made your decision then7
-Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
-Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
-Wait till I get going! Where was I?
-Australia.
-You're just stalling now.
-You're trying to trick me into giving away something -- it won't work --
-It has worked -- you've given everything away -- I know where the poison is.
-Then make your choice.
-What's so funny?
-You guessed wrong.
--- get back, witch --
-I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore.
-"True love." He said, "true love," Max. My God --
-Don't say another word, Valerie.
-He's afraid. Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him, his confidence is shattered.
-Why'd you say that name -- you promised me that you would never say that name --
-What, Humperdinck? Humperdinck. Humperdinck. Ooo-ooo, Humperdinck
-I'm not listening.
-A life expiring and you don't have the decency to say why you won't help --
-Nobody's hearing nothing!
-The chocolate coating makes it go down easier. But you have to wait fifteen minutes for full potency. And you shouldn't go swimming after, for at least, what?
-An hour.
-Yeah, an hour.
-Bye-bye, boys.
-Have fun storming the castle.
-Think it'll work?
-It would take a miracle. Bye!
-You feeling any better?
-A little bit.
-Guess what.
-What?
-Your grandfather's here.
-Mom, can't you tell him that I'm sick?
-You are sick, that's why he's here.
-He'll pinch my cheek. I hate that.
-How would you like to go back to teasing hair, big mouth?
-Roger, do you mind if we talk a little business?
-Please, please, that's what we're here for. Be careful, that hurt.
-I think this would be a marvelous opportunity for you, Roger. Up to now, you've always been associated with musicals, and...
-Yes. Dopey show-girls in gooey gowns. Two-three-kick-turn! Turn- turn-kick-turn! It's enough to make you throw up! At last a chance to do straight drama! To deal with conflict, with inner truth. Roger De Bris presents history. Of course, I think we should add a little music. That whole third act has got to go. They're losing the war. It's too depressing. We'll have to
-Wait a minute. This is a very big decision. It might effect the course of my entire life. I'll have to think about it. I'll do it.
-Congratulations.
-Wait! This is Boomerang. This is Boomerang.
-What are you saying?
-"By the light, by the light,
-"Of the silvery moon,
-"Of the silvery mooooon,
-"I want to croon,
-"He wants to croon, he wants to croon,
-"To my honey I'll croon,
-"He's gonna croon love's tune,
-"Honeymoon,
-"Honeymoon, honeymoon,
-Enough. It's better. Please, Lambchop, it's better. Stop. You're hurting it again.
-How do you do. I mean ... Excuse me ... I mean ...
-You mean ooops, don't you? Say ooops and get out.
-I'll wait in the hall ...
-Oooooooops!
-Uh ... uh ... ooooooops?
-Who are you? What do you want? Why are you loitering in my hallway? Speak, dummy, speak! Why don't you speak?
-All right. Get a hold of yourself. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly and tell me who you are.
-Yes sir.
-But sir, I'm not condem ...
-You have exactly ten seconds to change that disgusting look of pity into one of enormous respect. One ... Two ...
-Do the books! Do the books!
-Yes, sir. Thank you.
-Look at that. A white Rolls Royce. That's it baby, when you got it, flaunt it.
-I assume you are making those cartoon noises to attract my attention. Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?
-I have hurt your feelings.
-Good, what is it?
-Sir, may I speak to you for a minute?
-Go! You have fifty-eight seconds.
-Well, sir, it seems ...
-You have forty-eight seconds left. Hurry. Hurry.
-In looking at your books, I've discovered that ...
-What is that? A handkerchief?
-Here, don't panic.
-I'm sorry ... I don't like people touching my blue blanket. It's not important. It's a minor compulsion. I can deal with it if I want to. It's just that I've had it ever since I was a baby and ... and ... I find it very comforting.
-They come here. They all come here. How do they find me?
-Mr. Bialystock ...
-This is hardly a time for levity. I've discovered a serious error here in the accounts of your last play.
-Where? What?
-According to the backer's list you raised $60,000. But the show you produced only cost fifty-eight thousand. There's two thousand dollars unaccounted for.
-I went to a Turkish bath, who cares? The show was a flop. What difference does it make?
-It makes a great deal of difference. That's fraud. If they found out, you could go to prison.
-Why should they find out? It's only two thousand dollars, Bloom, do me a favor, move a few decimal points around. You can do it. You're an accountant. The word 'count' is part of your title.
-But that's cheating!
-Help!
-All right. I'll do it. I'll do it.
-Thank you, Bloom. I knew I could con you.
-Oh, it's all right ... wha?
-Nothing. Nothing. Do it. Do it.
-Now let's see, two thousand dollars. That isn't much. I'm sure I can hide it somewhere. After all, the department of internal revenue isn't interested in a show that flopped.
-Yes. Right. Good thinking. You figure it out. I'm tired. I'm gonna take a little nap. Wake me if there's a fire.
-Yes, what?
-What you were saying. Keep talking.
-What was I saying?
-You were saying that under the right circumstances, a producer could make more money with a flop than he could with a hit.
-Yes, it's quite possible.
-Assume away!
-Well, it's very easy. You simply raise more money than you really need.
-What do you mean?
-You've done it yourself, only you did it on a very small scale.
-What did I do?
-You raised two thousand more than you needed to produce your last play.
-So what? What did it get me? I'm wearing a cardboard belt.
-Ahhhhhh! But that's where you made your error. You didn't go all the way. You see, if you were really a bold criminal, you could have raised a million.
-But the play only cost $60,000 to produce.
-Exactly. And how long did it run?
-See? You could have raised a million dollars, put on a sixty thousand dollar flop and kept the rest.
-But what if the play was a hit?
-Oh, you'd go to jail. If the play were a hit, you'd have to pay off the backers, and with so many backers there could never be enough profits to go around, get it?
-Aha, aha, aha, aha, aha, aha!! So, in order for the scheme to work, we'd have to find a sure fire flop.
-What scheme?
-What scheme? Your scheme, you bloody little genius.
-Oh, no. No. No. I meant no scheme. I merely posed a little, academic accounting theory. It's just a thought.
-Mr. Bialystock. No. Wait. Please. You're holding me too tight. I'm an honest man. You don't understand.
-No, Bloom, you don't understand. This is fate, this is destiny. There's no avoiding it.
-Oh, I fell on my keys. I've got to get out of here.
-You miserable, cowardly, wretched little caterpillar. Don't you ever want to become a butterfly? Don't you want to spread your wings and flap your way to glory?
-You're going to jump on me.
-You're going to jump on me. I know you're going to jump on me -- like Nero jumped on Poppea.
-What???
-Poppea. She was his wife. And she was unfaithful to him. So he got mad and he jumped on her. Up and down, up and down, until he squashed her like a bug. Please don't jump on me.
-I'm not going to jump on you!
-Will you get a hold on yourself.
-Don't touch me! Don't touch me!
-What are you afraid of? I'm not going to hurt you! What's the matter with you?
-What can I do? What can I do? You're getting me hysterical.
-Okay. I'm way over here. Is that better?
-It's a little better, but you still look angry.
-Good. Good. That's nice. That's very nice. I think I'm coming out of it now. Yes. Yes. I'm definitely coming out of it. Thank you for smiling. It helped a great deal.
-Well, you know what they say, "Smile and the world smiles with you." Heh, heh. The man should be in a straight jacket. Feeling better?
-Much, thank you. But I am a little lightheaded. Maybe I should eat something. Hysterics have a way of severely depleting one's blood sugar, you know.
-They certainly do. They certainly do. Come, let me take you to lunch.
-I got it, Mr. Bialystock.
-Thank you, Leo. And call me Max. You know, I don't let everybody call me Max. It's only people I really like.
-Okay ... Max! And you can call me Leo.
-I already have. Come on.
-Where would you like to eat?
-Well, Max, I don't know, Max. What do you think, Max?
-Let me see ... it's such a beautiful day. Why waste it indoors. I've got it! Let's go to Coney Island! We'll lunch at the sea shore.
-Coney Island??
-What's the matter, Leo? Don't you like Coney Island?
-I ... I love it. I haven't been there since I was a kid. But it's nearly two o'clock. I really should be getting back to Whitehall and Marks.
-Nonsense! As far as Whitehall and Marks are concerned, you're working with Bialystock, right?
-Right.
-What kind now, Leo?
-I don't know. Let's see. We've had chocolate, vanilla, banana - let's go green.
-Everybody's a big shot. Well, Leo, are you having a good time?
-I don't know. I think so. I feel very strange.
-Maybe you're happy.
-You think you're not in prison now? Living in a grey little room. Going to a grey little job. Leading a grey little life.
-You bet your boots, Leo. It's Bialystock and Bloom -- on the rise. Upward and onward. Say, you'll join me. Nothing can stop us.
-I'll do it! By God, I'll do it!
-You can't feel it when it's in your hand, when it's in your pocket.
-Max, what is it? What are you doing? What's happening?
-I'll tell you what's happening. We've struck gold. Not fool's gold, but real gold. The mother lode. The mother lode. The mother of them all.
-You found a flop!
-It won't run a week!
-Run a week? Are you kidding? This play has got to close in the first act.
-Max, I don't want to take any Siegfried Oath. I don't know what it is, but I don't want to take it. We might end up in the German Army.
-There it is... in red and white! "Springtime For Hitler," signed, sealed and delivered. What's the matter with you?
-Look, I'm just not wearing this arm band. I don't care how big the deal is.
-Mrs. Eleanor Biddlecombe. She also owns 50% of the profits.
-Mrs. Virginia Resnick. She also owns 50% of the profits.
-Mrs. Alma Wentworth. She owns 100% of the profits.
-Leo, what if this play is a hit?
-Then the Department of Justice owns 100% of Bialystock and Bloom.
-What are you doing?
-How do you do. Have you gone mad? A receptionist that can't speak English. What will people say?
-They'll say, "Oooh, wah, wah, wah, ooh, ooh."
-What is she gonna do here?
-Max, as I was saying, maybe we should go easy on the spending. I mean these offices and everything.
-Why? Take it when you can get it! Flaunt it, baby, flaunt it!
-But if something should... God forbid... go wrong, at least we could give them some of their money back. It would look better in court.
-Stop talking like that, you white mouse! Nothing's going to go wrong. As a matter of fact, today I have taken steps to insure total disaster. At two o'clock we have an appointment with none other than Roger De Bris.
-Roger De Bris. Roger De Bris. Oh yes, the director. Is he good... I mean bad?
-Roger De Bris is the worst director that ever lived.
-Do you think he'll take the job?
-Well, it's... uh... it's nice and long... I mean, it's... uh... uh... where do you keep your wallet?
-So much for Nutsy Fagin.
-Here comes the Times Drama Critic.
-To failure!
-Maybe it's not true!
-No way out. No way out.
-Bloom, Bloom, maybe it's not true.
-No way out. No way out. What? Who?
-Why don't we go over to the theatre and see what's really happening? After all, we've only heard from a small portion of the audience. Let's hear what the majority thinks.
-What are you doing with those books? Where are you going?
-I never should have listened to you.
-Ohhhhhhhhh, how I hate you.
-Here. Buy bullets. Kill. Kill them all!
-What???
-They are? Have you ever eaten with one? Liebkind, go! Kill!
-Liebkind, no!
-Max, I...
-Well, I... Well, it's just that... I'm sorry I called you fat, fat, fat.
-Don't help me.
-I vas never a member of the Nazi party. I am not responsible. I only followed orders. Who are you?
-Mr. Liebkind, wait. You don't understand.
-Vhy do you persecute me? My papers are in order. I love my country. "Oh, beautiful for spacious skies, For amber vaves of grain."
-Mr. Liebkind, wait ...
-"I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy ...
-Mr. Liebkind, relax, relax, we're not from the government. We came here to talk to you about your play.
-My play? You mean, "Springtime For ... " you know who?
-Yes.
-Vat about it?
-We loved it. We thought it was a masterpiece. That's why we're here. We want to produce it on Broadway.
-I vas vit him a great deal, you know.
-Vit the Fuhrer, of course. He liked me. Out of all the household staff at Berchtesgarten, I vas his favorite. I vas the only one allowed into his chambers at bedtime.
-No kidding?
-Oh, sure. I used to take him his hot milk and his opium. Achhh, those were the days. Vat good times ve had. Dinner parties vit lovely ladies and gentlemen, singing und dancing. You know, not many people knew about it, but the Fuhrer vas a terrific dancer.
-Really, I never dreamed ...
-That's because you were taken in by that verdampter Allied propaganda. Such filthy lies. But nobody said a bad vord about Winston Churchill, did they? Oh no, Vin Vit Vinnie! Churchill, vit his cigars and his brandy and his rotten paintings. Couldn't even say Nazi. He would say Narzis, Narzis. Ve vere not Narzies, ve vere Nazis. But let me tell this, and you're
-Wait. No. How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you vill present this play in the manner and spirit in vhich it vas conceived?
-We swear it!
-Not good enough... Vould you be villing to take the Siegfried oath?
-Yes. We would!
-You think out of all those Hitlers you could find just one...
-Vaaaat???
-Franz, don't you see, Hitler was a man of his time. This is a man of his time.
-But he has long hair!
-Don't look at the outside, look at the inside. It's the inner Hitler we're after. The young beautiful Hitler, who danced his way to glory.
-Franz, trust me. I promise I won't let you down.
-Not.
-Five o'clock. Killed a whole day playing hide-and-seek with a crazy Kraut.
-Vhere? Vhere?... oh...
-You crazy lunatic! What are you shooting at us for? Why don't you use this where it will do us some good? Why don't you shoot the actors? Liebkind, have I ever steered you wrong?
-Always.
-Never mind. Listen. Every night people are laughing at your beloved Fuhrer. Why?
-Now ve take the two fuse leads, attach them to the terminals of the conductor and ve're in business.
-Plus to minus. Negative to positive. Male to...
-Come on. Let's get going.
-Here. You see. This is the slow fuse. It is much wider. It has more resistance, more density. Therefore, it burns slower.
-You mean you had the slow fuse in your pocket all the time and you forgot to put it on?
-Vhy do you always call me kraut? Kraut is cabbage! Do ve call you hot dogs? Ve call you Yanks not franks!
-Do it! Do it!
-Do you need us?
-Yes. She's an adult, educational toy made in Sweden for children over fifty.
-Stop looking at me like that. She's not an indulgence. She happens to be our new receptionist. She goes with our new surroundings.
-Ulla, I'd like you to meet my partner and associate, Mr. Leo Bloom.
-Bialystock and Blum. Bialystock and Blum. Bialystock and Blum. Got dag pa dig. Bialystock and Blum.
-Min Bialystock.
-Come on. We'd better hurry. We're late.
-Call chauffeur. Get car.
-Good. Good. We go Motel.
-You, Blum go Motel.
-No. No Motel. Get car. Get car.
-Get car. Get car.
-We make love?
-Don't forget the checkee. Can't produce playees without checkees.
-Finder's keepers.
-Feeling better?
-Good. Let's fool around. Now, I'll be the innocent little milk maid and you'll be the naughty stable boy. Oh, this milk is so heavy. I'll never reach the house. Help. Will someone help me?
-Wait. Wait. We can't play today. I have too many appointments.
-We can't play today?
-Thursday. Thursday. We'll play Thursday. We'll play the Contessa and the chauffeur.
-Oh, the best one.
-Until Thursday, then, Contessa Mio.
-Oh, Bialy, please, just a little. Just a little.
-So, the Count hired you this morning, Rudolfo ... Watch the road ... Watch the road.
-I can't take my eyes off you. How can I drive when you drive me mad. Mad.
-Rudolfo, you dirty pig! Pull over.
-Until Thursday, then, you bawdy wench.
-Oooh. I love it. Hold me, touch me.
-Thursday. I'll see you Thursday.
-Good. Yes. Thursday.
-Like clockwork.
-I shall count the minutes.
-Of course, the check, I had it with me all the time.
-I don't know what's happening to me. I must be getting old.
-Is it all right? I made it out to cash. You didn't tell me the name of the play.
-Oh, it's fine. Fine. Good. Good. Bye. Bye.
-Til Thursday, my Darling, I shall count the minutes.
-Ta. Ta.
-Smasheroo. Smasheroo.
-I solemnly swear...
-By the sacred memory...
-By the sacred memory...
-Of Siegfried...
-Of Siegfried...
-Wagner...
-Wagner...
-Nietzche...
-Nietzche...
-Bismark...
-Hindenburg...
-Hindenburg...
-The Graf Spee...
-The Graf Spee...
-The Blue Max...
-The Blue Max...
-And last, but not least, Adolph... you know who.
-And last, but not least, Adolph... you know who.
-Heil you know who!
-Heil you know who!
-No, not at all sir, we're quite serious. We want to produce your play. I have the contracts right here.
-Oh joy of joys! Oh, dream of dreams! I can't believe it. Birds, birds, do you hear? Otto, Bertz, Heintz, Hans, Wolfgang, do you hear? Ve are going to clear the Fuhrer's name. Fly, fly, spread the words.
-"Deutchland, Deutchland, uber alles, Uber alles in der velt."
-"Deutchland, Deutchland ... "
-Mr. Liebkind, Mr. Liebkind.
-Vat?
-People can hear you.
-Yes. The actors. I must destroy the actors.
-Okay.
-Where are you going vit the light?
-I need it. How'm I gonna find the fuse?
-Lorenzo Saint DuBois. But everybody calls me LSD.
-What have you done, LSD?
-Six months, I'm out on probation, but it's cool now, baby.
-I mean in show business.
-Oh, in show business. Well, let's put it this way, my next job will be my debut.
-What do you do best?
-Hey, man, I can't do that here, that's what they put me away for.
-Oh, sing. Sing!
-Hey, baby, that's where they put me, Sing-Sing. How'd you know that, you been up?
-We are falling back on all fronts. Our soldiers are retreating.
-No good, baby, no good. You heard my orders. Nobody retreats. Attack! Attack!
-Who can we attack? They're all too big.
-Hey, man, let's stomp Switzerland!
-Where's Goebbels? Where's my little Joe?
-He's the only cat left that still grooves me.
-Heil, baby! I just finished the morning propaganda broadcasts.
-What did you tell the people?
-I told them we invaded England.
-Hey, baby, that's good! How'd we come out?
-We won.
-I always forget to put the sign on, but we do have vacancy. Twelve in fact. Twelve cabins, twelve vacancies.
-In the past two days I've been to so many motels, my eyes are bleary with neon. This is the first one that looked like it was hiding from the world at large.
-I don't really forget the sign, it just doesn't seem... any use. This used to be the main highway. Want to register, please?
-Sit down. I don't want to trouble you, just want to ask...
-You out to buy a motel?
-No.
-Oh. I thought... you said you'd been to so many in two days... What was it you wanted to ask?
-I'm looking for a missing person. My name's Arbogast, private investigator... Trying to trace a young girl who's been missing almost a week. From Phoenix. It's a private matter... family wants to forgive her... She isn't in trouble.
-I didn't think the police went searching for people who weren't in trouble.
-I'm not the police.
-We have reason to believe she came this way... might have stopped in this area... Did she stop here?
-No. No one has stopped here in weeks...
-Mind looking at the picture before committing yourself?
-Committing myself to what? You sure talk like a Policeman.
-No. At least I don't recall.
-She might have used an alias. Mary Crane's the real name, but she might've registered...
-Now there's a couple even remarking about your sign, and see how easily you forgot them?
-What?
-Don't know where she got "Marie," but "Samuels" figures. Her boy friend's name is Sam. Was she in disguise? Or do you want to check the picture again?
-It was raining and her hair didn't look like that... damped out, I guess.
-Tell me all about her.
-She arrived kind of late, wet and hungry and she was very tired and went right to bed and left early.
-How early?
-Very early. Dawn.
-Of which morning?
-The following morning. Sunday.
-No one met her?
-No.
-Or arrived with her.
-No.
-She didn't call anyone? Even locally?
-No.
-You didn't spend the whole night with her did you?
-No! Of all...
-How do you know she didn't make a call?
-She was tired. She said she had a long drive ahead of her, in the morning... Yes, now I'm remembering very clearly because I'm picturing. When you make a picture of the moment in your mind, you can remember every detail. She was sitting back there, no she was standing up, with some sandwich still in her hand, and she said she had to
-Back where?
-What do you mean?
-You said she was sitting "back there," or standing rather...
-Oh. My private parlor. She had an awful hunger... so I made her some supper. And then she went to bed and left in the morning. I didn't even see her leave.
-How did she pay you?
-What?
-Cash or check? For the cabin...
-Cash.
-And when she left, she never came back.
-Why should she? I'm sorry, I have work to do, Mr... if you don't mind...
-I do mind. If it don't jell, it ain't aspic! This ain't jelling.
-I don't know what you expect me to know about... people come and go...
-She isn't still here, is she?
-Not at all!
-Suppose I wanted to search the cabins, all twelve... would I need a warrant?
-I guess I've got one of those faces you can't help believing.
-Anyone at home?
-I live there. Alone.
-Someone is sitting in that window.
-She's... ill. Confined to her room. It's practically living alone.
-If this girl Mary Crane were here, you'd have no reason to hide her would you?
-Of course not.
-If she paid you well?
-Now, look...!
-Or if she had you say... gallantly protecting her... you wouldn't be fooled... you'd know she was just using you. Wouldn't you?
-I'm not a fool! And I'm not capable of being fooled! Not even by women!
-I didn't mean that as a slur on your manhood. I'm sorry.
-That's all right. maybe she could have fooled me. But... She didn't fool my mother.
-Your mother met her? Can I talk to your mother?
-No. I told you, she's confined...
-Just for a moment. She might have picked up a hint you'd miss.
-Sick old women are sharp. Come on, I won't disturb...
-No! Just no! I have one of those breaking points like any other man, believe it or not, and I'm near it. There's just so much pushing I can take and I think...
-Let's all talk about Mary.
-Who are you, friend?
-What's your interest?
-Somebody better tell me what's going on and tell me fast! I can take so much and then...
-Why?
-Must've needed it.
-Did you check in Phoenix... hospitals... maybe she had an accident... a hold-up...
-She was seen leaving town in her car. Seen by her very victims, I might add.
-I don't know.
-Someone has seen her. Someone always sees a girl with forty thousand dollars. She is your girl friend, isn't she?
-Sam, they don't want to prosecute, they just want the money back. It was all in cash...
-Casharoonie!
-You came up here on a hunch, Miss Crane? Nothing more? No phone call... from him, or from your sister herself?
-Not even a hunch. Just hope.
-With a little checking, I could get to believe you.
-I'm in no mood for trouble!
-What?
-There's an old saying, "First customer of the day is always the most trouble!" But like I said, I'm in no mood for it so I'm just going to treat you so fair and square you won't have one human reason to give me...
-Can I trade in my car and take another?
-You can do anything you've a mind to... and bein' a woman, you will! That yours?
-Yes, it's... nothing wrong with it, I'm just...
-Sick of the sight of it! Well, suppose you look around for something that strikes your eyes and meanwhile I'll have my mechanic give yours the once over and... want some coffee? I was just about...
-That's the one I'd've picked for you myself!
-How much?
-Go ahead! Spin it around the block. Now I know you don't know anything about engine condition, but you can feel, can't you... and it's all in the feel, believe me, you feel that one around the block...
-It looks fine. How much will it be, with my car...?
-You mean you don't want the usual day and a half to think it over? You are in a hurry! Somebody chasin' you?
-Of course not. Please.
-Well... heck, this is the first time I ever saw the customer high-pressure the salesman! I'd figure roughly... ...your car plus five hundred.
-Five hundred.
-Aha! Always got time to argue money, huh...?
-I take it... you can prove that car's yours... I mean, out of state and all... got your pink slip and your...
-I think I have the necessary papers. Is there a Ladies Room...
-I think you'd better give it a trial spin. Don't want any bad word of mouth about California Charlie.
-I'd really rather not. Please. Can't we just settle this and...
-I'll be perfectly honest with you, Ma'am. It's not that I don't trust you, but...
-But what? Is there anything so terribly wrong about... making a decision and wanting to hurry? Do you think I've stolen... my car?
-No, M'am. I was only about to say, I've sent my mechanic out to give your car a little test... that's all.
-I'd like to be ready when he gets back.
-Isn't Mr. Lowery back from lunch?
-He's lunching with the man who's buying the Harris Street property, you know, that oil lease man... so that's why he's late. You getting a headache?
-It'll pass. Headaches are like resolutions... you forget them soon as they stop hurting.
-Were there any calls?
-Aren't you going to take the pills? They'll knock that headache out.
-Yes, Mr. Lowery.
-Caroline...? Mary still isn't in?
-No, Mr. Lowery... but then she's always a bit late on Monday mornings.
-Call her sister! If no one's answering at the house....
-I called her sister, Mr. Lowery, where she works, the Music Makers Music Store, you know? And she doesn't know where Mary is any more than we do.
-You better run out to the house. She may be... unable to answer the phone...
-Will you help us? I think something's wrong out there!
-Now. Your sister is missing how long?
-She left Phoenix a week ago yesterday. And no trace until...
-Yes.
-She stole some money.
-A lot?
-Forty thousand dollars.
-Mary had been there, one night, and had left.
-With the forty thousand dollars?
-He didn't mention the money. What he said on the phone isn't important, is it? He was supposed to come back after he spoke to the mother, and he didn't! That's what I want you to do something about!
-Like what?
-Go out there! Find somebody, ask some questions! I'm sorry if I seem over-anxious to you. I keep thinking... something's wrong. I have to know what!
-I think something's wrong, too, Miss. But not the same thing. I think your private detective is what's wrong. I think he got himself a hot lead as to where your sister was going... probably from Norman Bates... and called you to keep you still while he took off after her and the money.
-Please!
-You should've called in the police the second you found your sister has skipped. You go starting private investigations, using people you don't even know...
-What difference does that...
-Yes.
-Did he say anything about my sister?
-I still feel...
-Can see you do. Sorry I couldn't make you feel better. You want to come to my office this afternoon and report a missing person... And the theft, is what you want to do! Sooner you drop this thing in the lap of the law, that's the sooner you'll stand a chance of your sister bein' picked up. How about that?
-Yes?
-May I talk to you?
-I'm Mary's sister.
-Lila.
-Is something wrong?
-I want to know if my sister is here.
-Here?
-With you.
-Where?
-I don't know where. In your store, somewhere in your town... anywhere.
-What's the matter?
-What should I know?
-To begin with, where Mary is. Do you?
-No. I take it you don't either? How long?
-Last Friday. She left work, and home... I was in Tucson over the weekend... I haven't heard from her, not even a phone call.
-And you thought she'd come up here, to me? If she had, what reason would she have for not calling you?
-A good reason, I suppose.
-Well what do you think, we eloped or something? Or we're living in sin and...
-Mr. Loomis, you're so busy being defensive that you haven't even reacted to the most serious fact of all. Mary is missing.
-I was getting to that!
-What do you know about it?
-Nothing! You're putting me on the defensive.
-What thing?
-Huh?
-What thing could we be in together?
-I hate tears.
-Is Mary... in trouble?
-Yes.
-Well why didn't she come to me... call me...?
-Not that kind... You men and your egos.
-Yes... I just... did. The moment they told me...
-I just listened... and believed everything they told me. 'She stole the money.' 'We don't want to get her in trouble.' 'No don't bring the police in'...
-It was her boss' idea not to report it to the police?
-No. The man whose money she... he talked so loud and fast, and I... I should've called the police.
-He must have had a darn good reason for wanting them kept out of it... All that cash...
-I ought to call the police right now!
-No.
-Why not? Sam, is she hiding here? Are you two planning to go away with the money?
-How could I go away? I'm in debt up to my... If she did steal that money... It's hard to believe she did because it's hard to see why she would. Unless she had some wild idea that it would help me... us...
-She haven't even called you?
-I didn't see her... and I didn't hear from her! Believe that!
-I need to... I need to believe something. This is the first time I've ever come up against anything I couldn't... understand.
-You've led a charmed life.
-No. I just think... anything can be explained. But Mary, doing a thing like this... I don't know how to handle...
-Maybe we can handle it together.
-I came flying up here expecting to get some explanation... for all I know, she may be trying to get in touch with me, at home. I'd better go home.
-I think she'll contact me if she contacts anybody. Why don't you stay here. When she shows up... or calls... be here.
-You want me to stay here?
-She'll need both of us.
-Where... can I stay?
-Sometimes Saturday night has a lonely sound. Ever notice, Lila?
-Sam. He said an hour. Or less.
-It's been three.
-Are we just going to go on sitting here?
-He'll be back. Let's sit still and hang on, okay?
-You have an awfully nice habit, Sam.
-Hundreds! Which one is your pet?
-Whenever I start contemplating the panic button, your back straightens up and your eyes get that God-looks- out-for-everybody look and... I feel better.
-I feel better when you feel better.
-Where's the old highway?
-You want to run out there, bust in on Arbogast and the sick old lady, shake her up and maybe spoil everything Arbogast's been building for the last three hours.
-Yes.
-That wouldn't be a wise thing to do.
-Patience doesn't run in our family. Sam, I'm going out there!
-Arbogast said...
-Got the number of the motel out on the old highway? Bates, I think.
-Sam! Why call when we can go?
-Probably on his way back right now.
-Sam, I'm going.
-Stay here.
-Why can't I go out there with you?
-I don't know... One of us has to be here in case Arbogast's on the way.
-Just wait here?
-He didn't come back here?
-Sam.
-No Arbogast. No Bates. And only the old lady at home... A sick old lady unable to answer the door... or unwilling.
-Where could he have gone?
-Maybe he got some definite lead. Maybe he went right on...
-Without calling me?
-In a hurry.
-Sam, he called me when he had nothing definite, nothing but a dissatisfied feeling. Don't you think he'd have called if he had anything...
-Let's go see Al Chambers.
-Who's he?
-Our Deputy sleeps.
-Well?
-Nothing. Just... all the lights out... must be asleep.
-Does that mean we can't...
-No, thank you. It's my problem, too.
-I don't know where to start... Except at the beginning.
-Yes.
-I've only been here five. Right now it feels like ten, but...
-Maybe I am the seeing-illusions type.
-I won't feel satisfied unless I got out there, Sam.
-I wonder if we'll ever see Mary again.
-Of course we will.
-Where'd you go to college?
-I didn't. I got a job, too. I wonder if that hurt her, my not letting her sacrifice for me? Some people are so willing to suffer for you that they suffer more if you don't let them.
-I wonder so many things about her now. Why she never told me about you... Funny, when you think there's an answer to everything, you think you know all the answers.
-We were going to get married. Are going to get married!
-Do you know how I found out about you? I found one of your letters... it was a nice letter, Sam.
-This is the old highway.
-I suppose... when you were able to marry her she'd have presented you, all shiny and proper... she always tried to be proper.
-Watch your tenses.
-Huh?
-You going to wait here for me?
-I'm going with you. But we'd better decide what we're going to say and do when we walk in...
-We're going to register. As man and wife. And get shown to a cabin... and then search every inch of that place, inside and... outside.
-You won't believe it... But this will be the first time I've ever pulled one of those man- and-wife-renting-cabin capers!
-I wonder where Norman Bates does his hermiting?
-We should have asked for Cabin One... The one Mary was in.
-We have to go into that cabin and search it, Sam... no matter what we're afraid of finding and no matter how much it may hurt.
-I know. Do you think if something happened, it happened there?
-Sam, if you owned a useless business like this motel... one you probably couldn't even sell... what would you need to get away, to start a new business, somewhere else? Forty thousand dollars?
-How could we prove... Well, if he opens a new motel on the new highway... say, a year from now...
-There must be some proof that exists right now! Something that proves he got that money away from Mary... Some way!
-What makes you sound so certain?
-Sorry.
-Hospital clean.
-What?
-What is it?
-That's proof Mary was here! It would be too wild a coincidence for somebody else to...
-Bates never denied Mary was here.
-Yes. But maybe this proves that Bates found out about the money.
-Do we simply ask him where he's hidden it?
-You can't go up there.
-Why not?
-It's regular. Okay?
-Call your boss and tell him you're taking the rest of the afternoon off. It's Friday anyway... and hot.
-What do I do with my free afternoon, walk you to the airport?
-We could laze around here a while longer.
-Checking out time is three P.M. Hotels of this sort aren't interested in you when you come in, but when your time's up... Sam, I hate having to be with you in a place like this.
-I've heard of married couples who deliberately spend occasional nights in cheap hotels. They say it...
-When you're married you can do a lot of things deliberately.
-You sure talk like a girl who's been married.
-Sam!
-I'm sorry, Mary. My old Dad used to say 'when you can't change a situation, laugh at it.' Nothing ridicules a thing like laughing at it.
-I've lost my girlish laughter.
-The only girlish thing you have lost.
-Sam. This is the last time.
-For what?
-This! Meeting you in secret so we can be... secretive! You come down here on business trips and we steal lunch hours and... I wish you wouldn't even come.
-Okay. What do we do instead, write each other lurid love letters?
-I haven't time to argue. I'm a working girl.
-And I'm a working man! We're a regular working-class tragedy!
-It is tragic! Or it will be... if we go on meeting in shabby hotels whenever you can find a tax-deductible excuse for flying down deductible here...
-You can't laugh at it, huh?
-Can you?
-And besides, when you say I make tax- deductible excuses you make me out a criminal.
-You couldn't be a criminal if you committed a major crime.
-I wish I were. Not an active criminal but... a nice guy with the conscience of a criminal. Next best thing to no conscience at all.
-I have to go, Sam.
-I can come down next week.
-No.
-Not even just to see you, to have lunch... in public?
-We can see each other, we can even have dinner... but respectably, in my house with my mother's picture on the mantel and my sister helping me broil a big steak for three!
-And after the steak... do we send Sister to the movies and turn Mama's picture to the wall?
-Sam! No!
-Mary, whenever it's possible, tax- deductible or not, I want to see deductible you. And under any conditions. Even respectability.
-You make respectability sound... disrespectful.
-I'm fed up with sweating for people who aren't there. I sweat to pay off my father's debts... and he's in his grave... I sweat to pay my ex-wife alimony, and she's living on the other side of the world somewhere.
-I pay, too. They also pay who meet in hotel rooms.
-A couple of years and the debts will be paid off. And if she ever re- marries, the alimony stops... and then...
-I haven't even been married once yet!
-Yeah, but when you do... you'll swing.
-Sam, let's go get married.
-And live with me in a storeroom behind a hardware store in Fairvale. We'll have a lot of laughs. When I send my ex-wife her money, you can lick the stamps.
-You know what I'd like? A clear, empty sky... and a plane, and us in it... and somewhere a private island for sale, where we can run around without our... shoes on. And the wherewithal to buy what I'd like. Mary, you want to cut this off, go out and find yourself someone available.
-I'm thinking of it.
-How can you even think a thing like that!
-Don't miss your plane.
-Hey, we can leave together can't we?
-Dirty night.
-You have a vacancy?
-We have twelve vacancies. Twelve cabins, twelve vacancies. They moved away the highway.
-I thought I'd gotten off the main...
-Your home address. Oh, just the town will do.
-I want sleep more than anything. Except maybe, food.
-There's a big diner about ten miles on up... just outside Fairvale.
-Am I that close to Fairvale?
-Stuffy in here. Well... the mattress is soft and there're hangers in the closet and... stationary with "Bates' Motel" printed on it in case you want to make your friends back home envious... and... the... over there....
-The bathroom.
-I'll be in the office if you want anything... just tap on the wall.
-Thank you, Mr. Bates.
-You have something most girls never have.
-I have?
-There's no name for it... But it's something that, that puts a person at ease.
-Thank you. Again.
-You're not going to go out again and drive up to that diner, are you?
-No.
-Then will you do me a favor? Will you have supper here? I was just about to, myself... nothing more than some sandwiches and a lot of milk, but I'd like it if you'd come up to the house and... I don't set a fancy table but... the kitchen's awful homey.
-I'd like to.
-I've caused you some trouble.
-Mother... ...what is the phrase... "she isn't herself today"... I think that's it.
-I'm sorry. I wish... people could apologize for other people.
-You're very... kind.
-You eat like a bird.
-You'd know, of course.
-It's a strange hobby. Curious, I mean.
-Uncommon, too.
-I imagine so.
-It's not as expensive as you'd think. Cheap, really. Needles, thread, sawdust .. the chemicals are all that cost anything.
-A man should have a hobby.
-It's more than a hobby... sometimes... a hobby is supposed to pass the time, not fill it.
-Is your time so empty?
-Oh, no! I run the office, tend the cabins and grounds, do little chores for mother... the ones she allows I might be capable of doing.
-You go out... with friends?
-Friends? Who needs friends. A boy's best friend is his mother. You've never had an empty moment in your whole life. Have you?
-Only my share.
-Where are you going? I don't mean to pry...
-I'm looking for a private island.
-What are you running away from?
-Why do you ask that?
-No. People never run away from anything. The rain didn't last very long. You know what I think? I think we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever climb out. We scratch and claw... but only at the air, only at each other, and for all of it, we never budge an inch.
-Sometimes we deliberately step into those traps.
-I was born in mine. I don't mind it anymore.
-You should... mind it.
-Oh I do... but I say I don't.
-If anyone ever spoke to me, the way I heard... The way she spoke to you, I don't think I could ever laugh again.
-Sometimes when she talks that way to me I'd like to... curse her out and leave her forever! Or at least, defy her. But I couldn't. She's ill.
-She sounded strong...
-I mean... ill. She had to raise me all by herself after my dad died... I was only five... and it must have been a strain. Oh, she didn't have to go out to work or anything, Dad left us with a little something... anyway, a few years ago... Mother met a man. He talked her into building this motel... We could have talked
-Except you.
-A son is a poor substitute for a lover.
-Why don't you go away?
-To a private island, like you?
-No, not like me.
-It's too late for me. And besides... who'd look after her? She'd be alone up there, the fire would go out... damp and cold, like a grave. When you love someone, you don't do that to them, even if you hate them. Oh, I don't hate her. I hate... what she's become. I hate... the illness.
-An Institution? A madhouse? People always call a madhouse "someplace." Put her in Someplace!
-I'm sorry... I didn't mean it to sound uncaring...
-What do you mean about caring? Have you ever seen one of those places? Inside? Laughing and tears and cruel eyes studying you... and my mother there? Why? has she harmed you? She's as harmless as... one of these stuffed birds.
-I am sorry. I only felt... it seemed she was harming you. I meant...
-I've suggested it myself. But I hate to even think such a thing. She needs me... and it isn't... ...it isn't as if she were a maniac, a raving thing... it's just that... sometimes she goes a little mad. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?
-Yes, and just one time can be enough. Thank you.
-Thank you, Norman.
-Norman.
-You're not going to... to your room already?
-I'm very tired. And I'll have a long drive tomorrow. All the way back to Phoenix.
-Phoenix?
-I stepped into a private trap back there -- and I want to go back and... try to pull myself out. Before it's too late for me, too.
-Why don't you stay a little while, just for talking.
-I'd like to, but...
-Alright. I'll see you in the morning. I'll bring you breakfast. What time will you...
-Very early. Dawn.
-Alright, Miss...
-Crane.
-That's it.
-In quite a hurry.
-Yes. I didn't mean to sleep so long. I was afraid I'd have an accident last night, from sleepiness... so I decided to pull over...
-You slept here all night?
-Yes. As I said, I couldn't keep my eyes...
-There are plenty of motels in this area. You should have... I mean, just to be safe...
-I didn't intend to sleep all night! I just pulled over... have I broken any laws?
-No, m'am.
-Then I'm free to go...?
-Is anything wrong?
-Of course not! Am I acting as if... something's wrong?
-Frankly, yes.
-Please... I'd like to go...
-Is there?
-Is there what? I've told you there's nothing wrong... except that I'm in a hurry and you're taking up my time...
-In the course of my duty, I never "take up" anyone's time, whether it's to give a warning, or a ticket, or help! Believe that, M'am. Now if you woke up on the wrong side of... the car seat, that's one thing. But when you act as if I've just placed you under arrest...
-I'm sorry.
-Wait a minute!
-May I see your license?
-Why?
-Oh?
-Sorry, Mrs. Chambers. I hate bothering you...
-We have a problem.
-Mary is Lila's sister?
-Yes. He traced her to that motel, out on the old highway...
-Bates' Motel. He has a mind like a mechanical brain and the more information you feed it... Go on, Sam.
-He traced her there and called us to say he was going to question Mrs. Bates...
-Norman took a wife?
-You mean that old woman I saw sittin' in the window wasn't Norman Bates' mother?
-Maybe you saw Mary!
-We thought, if you didn't mind, we'd go out to the motel with you.
-Why don't you call Norman and let him say just what happened, if he give the man a hot lead and he did just scooted off... it'll make the girl feel better, Albert.
-Recluse. Kinder word.
-Norman? Sheriff Chambers. Been just fine, thanks. Listen, we got some worries here. Did you have a man stop out there tonight... Well, this one wouldn't be a customer, anyway. A private detective, name of...
-Arbogast.
-Barefaced.
-I helped Norman pick out the dress she was buried in. Periwinkle blue.
-It ain't only local history, Sam, it's the only murder-and-suicide case in Fairvale ledgers! Mrs. Bates poisoned this guy she was... involved with, when she found out he was married, then took a helping of the same stuff herself. Strychnine. Ugly way to die.
-Went out before service.
-Just coming up to ring for you.
-I suppose you want a cabin.
-I'll take you to...
-It isn't necessary.
-I'll get your bags.
-Haven't any.
-Looking for me?
-Yes, matter of fact. The wife's taking a nap and... I can never keep quiet enough for her... so I thought I'd look you up and... talk.
-Satisfied with your cabin?
-I've been doing all the talking so far, haven't I?
-Yes.
-I always thought it was the people who are alone so much who do all the talking when they get the chance. Yet there you are, doing all the listening! You are alone here, aren't you? It would drive me crazy.
-That would be a rather extreme reaction, wouldn't it?
-I'm not saying you shouldn't be contented here, I'm just doubting that you are. I think if you saw a chance to get out from under... you'd unload this place...
-This place! This isn't 'a place.' It's my only world. I grew up in that house back there. I was a happy child. My mother and I... we were more than happy.
-My mother is not dead!
-You look frightened. Have I been saying something frightening?
-I don't know what you've been saying.
-I've been talking about your mother... about your motel. How are you going to do it?
-Do what?
-Buy a new one! In a new town! Where you won't have to hide your mother!
-Shut up!
-Where will you get the money to do that, Bates... or do you already have it... socked away... a lot of it...
-Leave me alone!
-...Forty thousand dollars!
-I won't have you bringing strange young girls in for supper... ...by candlelight, I suppose, in the cheap erotic fashion of young men with cheap, erotic minds!
-Mother, please...
-And then what? After supper, music? Whispers?
-Mother, she's just a stranger... hungry, and the weather's bad...
-Mother, she's just a stranger! As if men don't desire strangers, as if... oh, I refuse to speak of disgusting things because they disgust me! You understand, Boy?
-Go on, go tell her she'll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with my food... or my son! Or do I have to tell her, cause you don't have the guts? Huh, boy? You have the guts, boy?
-They thought she'd be coming to me.
-Yes.
-Everyone concerned thought... if they could get her to give back the money... they could avoid involving her with the police.
-He was out when I was there. If he's back he probably isn't even in bed yet.
-Was that all?
-Now wait a minute, Sam. You sure you saw an old woman?
-Yes! In the house behind the motel. I pounded and called but she... just ignored me.
-You didn't find anything.
-No mother.
-By gosh, them stiffs are get- tin' heavier and more of 'em every day. They even got the coroner working overtime.
-Yeah, between the gangsters and the autos, we won't need another war to carry off the population.
-You didn't even mention the suicides. Did you notice the beaut that came in today?
-Did I?
-That's the one that's got the coroner doing nightwork.
-Imagine--she was alive. What a horror. Could have been buried alive. She must have run away from the morgue.
-Never mind your theories. Was she ever conscious?
-Just before she died she came to--
-Did she talk?
-Said &quot;doctor&quot;--[something]
-Did you wish to see someone?
-You mean he doesn't work for you?
-No, not exactly. Why the great anxiety? It must be something important.
-It is--you know what a struggle he's had.
-He's inherited a fortune.
-You say a fortune. He never spoke to me of any rich relatives.
-He hardly knew of them him- self. I believe it was his uncle in Australia.
-I am certainly glad to hear it. I know he'll be pleased.
-Don't tell him. I want to be the first to bring him the news.
-That's only natural. Maxwell will be here around eight tonight.
-Gosh, you had me fooled.
-So--friendly or otherwise--?
-[Perfectly friendly, my dear.] At last, I have really a secure living for us. We can travel or anything we choose.
-Then you knew of the inheritance?
-Sure--I have one little job to accomplish, then we can leave together. No doubt you are surprised at this disguise.
-No, I wouldn't be surprised at anything from you. Winningly. MAXWELL Now, honey--you are here in time to help me and you can--
-I knew there was a catch in this some place--but spill it. Quiet and dramatic. MAXWELL In the other room, I have a crazy woman that I have been treating.
-Ha ha, <U>you</U> have been treating.
-Quiet, will you? This is ser- ious. Our lives are in danger.
-That's what I said. Now, lis- ten to me. I want you to help me take this woman down stairs. I will give her a shot. You can take care of her till I get help.
-No-
-Who are you? What is your name?
-What made you steal? Are you hungry?
-No--I don't want to give any money. Everybody wants money--I'm not going to give any money.
-Who wants your money-- maybe I can help you.
-No, I don't want money. I only want to find out who you are and where you live. My business is finding peo- ple. Not taking their money.
-You--a friend to me?
-Why, yes, to you, Mr.--Mr. --what?
-No, no! I won't sign any pa- pers. You can't make me--
-Tell me, just what you know of Dr. Meirschultz.
-Papers--they all want me to sign papers.
-Yes--I can't stand it-- everybody wants papers-- oh, oh
-Sure--they're sorta queer, I'd say. They's lots of queer goings on up there. They even brought a dog back to life once.
-That sounds to me very remarkable.
-It may be, but to my notion, those that monkeys with what they got no business to get queer sooner or later.
-Maybe you're right.
-I know I am. Why, I even heard a shot up there last night.
-I understand from your neighbors that all [them] cats are making noise at night. Dr. Meirschultz has put in a complaint.
-He's been stealing my cats to experiment on [them]. I know cause I've been [watching] spying on him.
-[Lot of] How many cats you have--what's the matter-- rats?
-Thousands?
-What' s the idea [of wanting so many] do you sell them [to the doctor]?
-Oh, no. It's my own idea. I'm in the business. In the fur business.
-Oh, I see. Cats' fur.
-That's it. You get it quick.
-But where do the rats come in?
-Oh, him. He has a cat of his own. But his assistant--he's the cat-hatenest man I ever saw. Goofy, if ya ast me.]
-I'm detective Jones. Just dropped in to tell you a bit of news.
-By the way, where <U>is</U> your assistant?
-How do you do.
-Well, news of Buckley?
-Yeah, he was picked up-- also the body from the morgue. Say, what did you have to do with stealing that body?
-Why, Buckley stole that body. That's what alarmed Mrs. Buckley so. I have been try- ing to get her to put Buckley in an institution but she wants to keep him.
-Yes indeed. He has been a <U>difficult</U> case. Now that <U>you</U> have him in custody--you have him haven't you?
-Oh, yes, he's in good hands now.
-Fine. Mrs. Buckley will be all right when she gets used to the idea.
-Do you have many patients, doctor?
-Oh no. Mostly research in endocrinology.
-What's down there?
-Oh, just the basement. Some day I intend to build an experimental laboratory down there. It will save me from intrusion.
-You here again?
-Yes. Mr. Buckley thinks you treated him a little rough. He's in the hospital. How about it?
-What's that?
-Take me down there.
-It won't do any good. They are a pair of would-be mur- deresses fighting it out.
-Man, you're crazy. What kind of a place is this?
-Oh, <U>I'm</U> crazy, am I? Let me tell you something. Those women have--the gleam--
-Dr. Meirschultz, please.
-What are you going to do?
-I'm going to call the police.
-You can't double-cross me like that. You were to help me. You were to operate on him. You were going to put him under my power.
-You are right. But before I can get him back here, you will have to help me.
-[Something very important. I have been threatened;] Mrs. Maxwell, my assistant's wife, is crazy. She thinks I mur- dered her husband. [She wants to murder me.] I want you to help me quiet her-- give her a shot from this hypo. [Keep it hid till we get her] down in the basement-- there is a secret vault [there]. We will put her there till
-It sounds all right, except for the fact that she's crazy. It seems to me she has the right idea--.
-What is it?
-The wound is bleeding!
-What is it now?
-I'm losing my blood!
-You're losing your blood?
-Yes!
-What were you dreaming about?
-A voice ...
-That spoke to you?
-That called ... commanded ...
-Your father?
-Yes!
-Did you hear?
-The child!
-Yes.
-There's no child here.
-There's no child here, and no dogs either.
-No?
-By the time we return there, all the preparations for the blood transfusion are completed.
-Joseph returns from the room where Gisèle is. He has evidently succeeded in calming her. He goes and sits in the chair where Nikolas sat. He rests his head in his hand. He sees the open diary and begins reading it.
-The blood transfusion is now in progress. The only words are curt orders like: 'Now! - Quickly! - That's enough! - Give it to me! - Sit still!' etc.
-Joseph is reading the diary, which arouses his interest more and more. It is as if he finds a connection between what he reads and the fearful events that have taken place around him. An extract from the diary is shown.
-The blood transfusion continues. Marc has positioned himself outside the circle of light from the lamp, so that he can see Nikolas in bright light, while he himself sits in the dark. Nikolas watches Léone's face anxiously and closely during her struggle with death. Life slowly seems to return to her, and her breathing becomes more peaceful. She opens her eyes and looks at
-Another fragment of the diary is shown [having to do with vampires].
-You killed him! Come on with the rest of it. You killed him!
-No -- I didn't. It was Igor at the waxworks.
-But you were in on it -- you worked for him.
-No -- the only thing I did for him was to keep track of the man named Worth that runs the place where you arrested me tonight.
-You lie!
-Yes, why?
-I wondered. Did he invite you to lunch, or did you invite him?
-What are you laughing at?
-I just had a picture of you telling a landlady some day that you didn't have the rent, but Ralph is awful sweet.
-I don't see any big-moneyed boys running after you.
-I met one last night ... all the money this side of Peoria.
-Did you? Where?
-I don't have any affairs. What do you mean?
-I don't think you could have a real affair. You couldn't care for anyone.
-I've been in love so many times my heart is calloused ... but I've never hit one with dough. This love-in-an-attic isn't my idea of a way to spend a pleasant afternoon.
-I don't agree with you.
-All right, you raise the kids -- I'll raise the roof. I'd rather die with an athletic heart from shaking cocktails and bankers, than expire in a pan of dirty dish water.
-You would.
-He can look like a chimpanzee and act like an igorot but he must have dough -- plenty of dough.
-You think money is the only requisite. It happens that the poor people are happier.
-But what about lunch?
-There's no hurry. It's early.
-I can't convince the inner woman that we can wait. She's howling for a bit of ground beef before we drop in on Santa Claus and the other dummies. I've only had a cup of coffee since last night.
-Why didn't you eat last night?
-Ouch! Eat? You can do a solo if you don't step on it. I'm going to bow out on you.
-What's the rush? There's no first act. They'll all be there and we don't have to appear at any particular time.
-I'm hungry. I'll eat the first child I see. And I've an appointment with young Winton at 8:30.
-You wouldn't get mixed up with that little rotter, would you?
-No? Give me a chance, baby. Money is music in my ears, and when his old man kicks off there'll be a million dollar tune.
-If you're going to be indiscreet, I wish you'd be a little more discreet about it. Rich men, like Winton, love you and leave you.
-I think so.
-Disappoint me? Why, what do you mean, dear?
-Why, certainly, sir. My fiancée. Charlotte, may I present Mr. Igor.
-But why? She's the best friend I've got.
-She isn't anybody's friend, and I don't like you living with her. She's a bad influence.
-Nonsense. She's one of the nicest girls I know.
-What's nice about her? ... a hard-boiled little gold digger.
-I won't let you say that!
-Well, I do say it.
-She thinks it's funny to talk the way she does, but--
-Don't kid yourself -- she means it.
-Are we going to have the same quarrel over again?
-You wouldn't have said that before you met her.
-I'd call it stupid at any time.
-Well, that's just how stupid I am. When you go riding, it will be with me. And if it's with someone else, you can make it a permanent arrangement.
-So that's the way it is?
-That's the way I feel about it.
-If you will forgive this poor, crippled stump, my dear, I am very happy to know you.
-Thank you.
-Although you would be amused if I were to tell you that I knew you before you were born. Before this terrible thing happened to me ... ... I made a very beautiful statue. Even if I had not met with this disaster, I could never have hoped to do anything finer, probably nothing quite so fine. And, my child, you are that figure
-We'll be coming to the opening.
-But I think these things are beautiful.
-Oh! Mr. Igor! -- I'm so glad you're here -- I don't know why I should be, but I was a little bit afraid.
-Oh! So, my little friend, you have honored me by accepting my invitation of last night.
-No -- I -- wanted to speak to Ralph. We had a silly argument last night and I said something unkind.
-Oh, you children, you happy children. You've quarreled and now you're going to be friends again. And that is as it should be. Never let any stupid misunderstandings come between you.
-But it was really my fault.
-And he will probably demand the life of anyone who agrees with you. Let him think it was his fault ... He should be along very shortly .. . But be very stern before you forgive him, especially if it is your fault ... While you're waiting for your friend, would you like to see some new figures I have downstairs?
-Oh, please, Mr. Igor, I'm terribly ashamed. I shouldn't have put you to so much trouble.
-Let me go! Let me go!
-We have found immortality, you and I. You must not be afraid.
-Please, oh, please, I haven't done anything to hurt you.
-What! What are you talking about?
-The body of Joan Gale!
-Hello, Express. What's the idea, trying to outsmart the police?
-I'm not kidding. Joan Gale's body is packed in the box in the basement, and I saw the most horrible thing down there.
-Are you giving me this straight?
-Listen, copper, get a load of this. While you're chinning yourself on a bar rail, I run down this story ... my story. Consider yourself my assistant.
-What do you think I am?
-Whatever you are, you're the only one of it.
-It happens that I'm the law.
-Not a very good one, I guess. He wasn't like anything human. He hobbled and swayed like a monkey, and the face, from the glimpse I got of it in the light from the street, was like an African war mask.
-You mean he was colored?
-Hey, what do you think you're doing? Put that stuff back!
-As I live and breathe and wear spats ... the prince.
-Been doing experiments with Scotch and soda again?
-Where did you get the news item? From a little bird?
-Yeah. Have a pleasant vacation?
-Charming. More delightful people crippled.
-Great. Consider yourself crippled -- financially. See if you can jar your charming friends loose from enough to eat on.
-Meaning what?
-I'm through clowning. You're all washed up. Get out!
-What do you mean, you poor ham! This is New Year's!
-All right, what about it? We get out a paper just the same. Did you ever stop to think of that?
-And how does one go about getting these human documents, may I inquire?
-That is none of our business. But you bring me something for the next edition if it's only a recipe for spaghetti!
-Well, ain't that a shame. Nice little chappie that wouldn't harm a fly ... everybody picking on the little fellow.
-If this kid was some unknown soda jerker, they wouldn't have pinched him. But he's George Winton and they're playing him up. It's a Roman holiday for every paper hat editor in New York.
-Why the goose pimples? If he wasn't social register -- if it was somebody like me, you'd be trying to hang him.
-I wouldn't be trying, beloved. I would hang him! And another thing, all this gaga about the body disappearing. Eight bodies have been stolen in New York within the last eighteen months. Doesn't it seem more reasonable to hook this up from that angle?
-And ruin a perfectly good story? Don't be silly.
-No, I mean it. I think this kid's entitled to a break.
-He's getting a break, ain't he? He's front page.
-You give me a pain!
-I'm glad to hear it. When did you go in for crusading in the cause of justice? This lousy mug, with all the money in the world, has had two or three nasty affairs. He's kept out o' print because his great- grandfather was smarter than the Indians.
-Well, anyway, he couldn't have copped that body -- he was in jail.
-You don't think he'd be sap enough to do the job himself. I hope they give him the works. Even if he didn't kill the kid, he's responsible for her death, and they can fry him any time without making me sore.
-Well, I won't work on it from that angle.
-Oh, you won't -- you were pretty tough about Judge Ramsey -- a little while ago --
-And they never proved anything against him.
-Except that he disappeared when things got too hot.
-Or was bumped off by someone who was afraid of him.
-Whooey -- he took a run-out powder.
-Well, that's got nothing to do with this case. Can I handle this my way?
-You cannot. I'm still editor of this sheet.
-All right, you said I was fired. Well, I quit! Give the assignment to somebody else.
-Hey, come here, Sob-sister!
-On the square, Jimmy, if you'd seen Winton down there -- I'm not holding a brief for him -- maybe he's a dirty pup, but he's scared and hysterical -- and so kinda dumb and worthless ...
-Great! ... If he's worthless we'll give him away as a bridge prize. Come on -- beat it. It's five o'clock. You need some sleep.
-No, there's another point I want to iron out.
-Which one is me? The horse?
-Come in, Prussic Acid. What's on your mind?
-I want to see the original pictures of Joan Gale.
-Well, why so mysterious! Come on, spill it.
-I am right! I know I'm right!
-Listen, Jim -- and if you wisecrack while I'm talking I'll crown you with the inkwell.
-All right, wise guy. Go ahead. Spill it.
-Jim, there's a little hokey-pokey wax museum opening up down on 14th Street.
-Now don't that call for an extra!
-I asked you to keep your trap shut!
-Well, you can't blame a guy for getting a little breathless with a scoop like that.
-All right, you poor baboon, you can guess the rest of it!
-No kiddin'. What's your idea?
-Just this -- I got a look at that dump a little while ago and if they haven't got a wax figure of Joan Gale in that line-up, then I'm crazy.
-We'll grant that.
-What!
-About the Gale girl, I mean. Where do we go from there? What of it?
-Listen, Jo-jo. Does this mean anything to you? Joan Gale's body swiped from the morgue -- Did you ever hear of such a thing as a death mask?
-I used to be married to one.
-And it came to life and divorced you. I know all about that. Now my idea is this: Somebody swipes the girl's body, takes impression, makes a mold, produces wax figure ... Bingo! ... Peddles it to this old skate down there!
-Work that up into a comic strip and syndicate it.
-Let it go.
-Come down to earth. Do you think they would dare do anything like that? Don't you think they'd know that figure would be recognized? Shake your head real hard -- you'll be all right.
-All right, Master Mind. But there's something cockeyed about that joint and I'm going to find out what it is.
-Oh, by the way, another pet theory of yours just blew up.
-What do you mean?
-That dear, innocent Judge Ramsey that you were so sure got bumped off for knowing too much has been located in South America.
-No kiddin'?
-Almost certain.
-Mit me, kid. I've got a classic.
-You here again like an evil spirit to mar my happiness?
-This one's a story, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. Every time I tell you anything it goes haywire.
-What do you mean -- haywire? You start out after murderers and come back with three-for-a-dime bootleggers. You start to solve murder mysteries and break up crap games. You're grand! I'm for you! Stupendous!
-Say, you're always razzing everything I do, but this is one time I'm in.
-Go on, little girl, take your troubles somewhere else. I don't feel like talking to you.
-Was there any art on Judge Ramsey?
-What goofy idea have you got now? Don't tell me you suspect Judge Ramsey of stealing the body.
-Listen, stupid, could I do anything that would possibly meet with your approval?
-That's what I said.
-Yes, sir. I got in the cab and it was layin' there on the floor.
-Where were you going when you got in that cab?
-I don't remember. Not so very far--
-Don't remember what day that was, do you?
-You didn't happen to be going to Worth's place, did you?
-No, sir, I'm sure it wasn't there.
-You used to go to Worth's place a whole lot. What makes you sure it wasn't there?
-Call the Homicide Squad!
-How's every little thing?
-Fine. You're the first reporter in here for two hours. You people seeing the old year out?
-I'm people which the old year saw out. I'm canned, fired!
-No kiddin'.
-I've got to make news, if I have to bite a dog. Hey, Kelly! Oh, mi gosh, even he walked out on me.
-I've got a story for you. You know the Joan Gale girl?
-Yes, she committed suicide yesterday. That's not news. I heard about it last year.
-Oh, yeah? Maybe she didn't commit suicide. She may have been murdered!
-No foolin' -- any suspect?
-Do you know George Winton?
-Old Howard Winton's cub?
-That's the one.
-They don't suspect <I>him</I>?
-Don't they? He's down at The Tombs right now.
-Say, if you're stringin' me, Old-Timer ...
-Why would I string y'? They were sweeties until a month ago.
-What does that prove?
-Nothing. Only she may have tried to blackmail him. You know such things have happened. Anyway, he was at her apartment a few hours before she was found dead.
-Make it snappy, Colonel.
-There's an autopsy ordered at Bellevue immediately. You better skip over there.
-Don't give this to anybody else, will you?
-It's all yours.
-Where'd you get the stag hound?
-He's not a stag hound. His name is Kelly and he's a police dog.
-What do you mean police dog?
-Plain-clothes man. Come on, slaves, drink and be merry for tomorrow you might be appointed correspondent to Washington ... a fate worse than death.
-Listen, Flo, cut it out. Hard-Tack is pretty sore.
-I told you he was a sore.
-Stories scarcer than caviar at a street cleaner's banquet, and he says, bring me a yarn. All I have to do is get a story.
-Fine, thanks.
-Gee, honey-bunch, I'm sorry -- I'm going to have to disappoint you.
-He might get some publicity out of it.
-No use. He's a crab, I tell you.
-Nix, Flo -- he won't let you in and you'll only get me in Dutch.
-What are you people doing out in the middle of the night?
-I'm after news, as usual. I wonder if it would be all right for me to slip in and look around your factory?
-Well, I'll tell you a secret. I kinda like the old gent and I'm trying to build a special Sunday Magazine story out of him. It might help him a whole lot. But that's a side issue -- something I do on my own time.
-Gee, that's great. After the bad opening that night the old boy was pretty blue. This will pep him up. Have you told him about it?
-Ralph, come here a minute, will you?
-Yeah. I suppose you people will crucify me for something I didn't do. I didn't! You understand that! ... I didn't do it! She -- tried before --
-Come on, old man, that won't do. You know you're innocent until proven guilty.
-Listen, kid. You're in a tough spot, and you can make it a whole lot easier for yourself if you cut out the cry-baby stuff --
-Cry-baby?
-That's what I said.
-My lawyers will be on the job in a little while, and I warn you people anything you print about me you've got to prove. Dad won't stand for--
-Your dad has stood for plenty. Now let's get down to cases. When did you see the Dale girl last?
-For a few minutes the afternoon before -- before --
-Hmmm. Why didn't you tell that to the police?
-They didn't give me a chance. We had a couple of drinks and she was all right then. She seemed happy.
-Uh-huh. Do you remember what she said? What did you talk about?
-She laughed and told me that we were being silly, that we didn't care for each other any more but we needn't hate each other ... ... She said she wanted to be friends.
-I see. Was that all she said?
-We planned a trip for her. I was going to send her to Bermuda.
-You weren't going with her?
-No. Why didn't I take her out somewhere? But she was laughing and seemed so happy.
-Well, let's get back to the case in hand. They ordered an autopsy and discovered her body had been stolen from the morgue.
-Stolen! What are you trying to do to me? ... You're working with the police! ... You're trying to make me say something that can be used against me! You're trying ...
-Hold on, hold on. I'm trying to help you, if you're on the square, and I think you are.
-Then why are you telling me a crazy lie? ...
-That happens to be the truth.
-Who'd steal her body?
-Now look here. It's not up to us to do our own detective work. I've had enough trouble over this matter. I don't want anything more to do with it.
-Not even if it gives you a clean bill of health?
-Not even then. The police are the proper people to conduct this affair. Now if you've got any suspicions I'll drive you to the nearest police station.
-What! And let every rag in town grab a red-hot story? Not so you could notice it! Now, look, I want you to drive me around the corner and wait for me.
-I told you I didn't want to mix in it.
-Please. I'm sorry. I'll see it through. What do you want me to do?
-There she is! You'll find Joan Gale in that box.
-Why?
-You go in for dangerous things.
---and so determined to live that I'm going to get out and take a taxi if you don't watch where you're going.
-I suppose this is going to sound absurd. I've only known you twenty-four hours, but I'm in love with you.
-It doesn't usually take that long, but I'll forgive you -- you were in a tough spot when I met you.
-No, really -- I'm crazy about you.
-Oh, is that what caused it?
-You don't believe me. You think I'm just talking. Will you marry me?
-How much money have you got?
-Heaven knows. A lot.
-What is it? What happened?
-You are too gracious. These things have some merit, I suspect ... but this-- ... I am convinced, is fine.
-Even those delicate veins, the texture of this flesh -- I have never seen anything more exquisite.
-My partner believes that I should build a horror chamber, immortalizing the hideous crimes and criminals of London. At such times Marie Antoinette has reassured me, she has promised me recognition for the devotion I gave to her.
-She will undoubtedly keep her promise. If you'll grant me the privilege, I'd like to submit this work to the Royal Academy when I get back.
-You will have won the undying gratitude of us all. Is that not so, Marie Antoinette?
-I regret I can't spend the time I'd like with your exhibition, but I'm going to worry the life out of you when I come back.
-It will always afford me great pleasure to see you.
-Good night, sir.
-I came back for some of the books. I am trying to straighten out the accounts. I don't hope to impress you, but I may as well tell you: We haven't a farthing!
-Your money may have been well invested, my friend. Something important may come of all this.
-Something important has got to come of it! Do you know that the rent on this place isn't paid?
-Is that a fact?
-No -- I'm lying to amuse myself! Now look here, I've an idea that will get us out of all this. We haven't twopence between us, but we've got these.
-Fire insurance!
-A fire! Is this your idea of humor, my friend?
-I want the money back I've thrown into this rubbish heap.
-I'm not asking you anything. I'm telling you what I'm going to do!
-And you think I will permit this, my friend?
-You've got to permit it! Whose fault is it that no one comes here? The museum at Walston Lane does well enough, and why? They've got Jack the Ripper, Burke and Hare, the Mad Butcher, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street and things people pay to see.
-And they are welcome to them. To perpetuate such creatures is to celebrate their crimes.
-Well, what do you think I'm in this for? Think of it, man, a match -- a cigar stub -- and ten thousand pounds to divide between us!
-You're insane.
-If my curiosity is not too great, would you mind telling me what manner of animal this is you are designing?
-One of the maids-in-waiting for that Elizabethan group.
-And he isn't struck dead! This man, he lives! It would be interesting to know, young man, where and when you studied anatomy.
-That doesn't seem so bad to me. What is wrong with it?
-Everything, my friend. And you hope to be a great sculptor -- A great sculptor. Look -- this forearm is at least two inches too long.
-But the composition as a whole -- I've tried to keep a sketchy freedom.
-To lunch.
-To lunch, you say. I am having coffee and sandwiches sent in. We are not leaving until we have everything ready for the opening.
-But I have some friends waiting.
-That is unfortunate. They will have to wait.
-I will only be gone about half an hour.
-If you leave before the work is done, you will be gone for a much longer period ... you will be gone for good.
-I wouldn't feel too disappointed at the slimness of your audience tonight, Mr. Igor. The weather was against you, and the people are tired and getting over their celebration and preparing to go to work tomorrow.
-Have you got it? Is it completed?
-Yes, sir, it's here on the truck, but it's pretty heavy -- I'll need help.
-Shall we unpack it?
-I'd be glad to, Mr. Igor. I think I'll have somethin' to tell you soon.
-She is the soul of that statue.
-What are you laughing at?
-I'd know him anywhere.
-Yep. Everything settled.
-Good. Well, I'll be seeing you.
-I'm glad they didn't hold you downtown.
-They didn't have a leg to stand on. There's no case against me. It's a clumsy thing to have happen, but nothing to worry about.
-Well, any time I can do anything for you --
-To isolation. To an armed camp. To a biblical spoof of a crazed father firing a gun at his only son.
-Don't waste it Pauly. This is not an everyday talk. Just input the information and ask relevant questions. One: how did a celebrated life of the mind bring me to this particular switching station?
-Two: what if I didn't miss?
-You did.
-Spare me your classical answer. Measurements in. Results taken. What if I didn't miss?
-You did miss --
-What was her name?
-Excuse me???
-Mia...?
-I've been dreaming about you.
-Could we go somewhere?
-I'm heading out of town.
-What?
-Could you?
-Where to?
-A place you've never been.
-Why am I doing this?
-We flopped the first time out.
-Could be.
-What universe are you in, Paul?
-Nothing is real until it's perceived.
-The Buddhists have been saying that for a millennium.
-Of what?
-What did it want?
-That's what it asked me. "What do you want?" I didn't answer. I was in the middle of an experiment.
-No. I didn't. I'm listening.
-She's in L.A., he's in the Bay area --
-A five hundred foot thick steel wall. But the connection between these two electrons is so --
-Dysfunctional --
-That they tunnel, magically, through any obstacle, defying the practical laws of physics, in order to end up together --
-I didn't want to leave things the way we did. Not this time.
-I've been dreaming about this.
-Then you get it. You'll understand.
-Why?
-Yes?
-Is Rose here?
-She must have gone out for a walk with the children.
-Well, I got to see her.
-She isn't here. And I'm sorry, but Mr. Hillyer doesn't want her to have callers during working hours.
-Where is she?
-They're filthy, Mother.
-Sex isn't ugly, sex is one of the most beautiful things in life, the creative power of the universe is behind it.
-I know, Mother.
-But we must respect that power, we must be in awe of it.
-I am in awe of it, Mother.
-I don't think you are sufficiently in awe of it. Get the castor oil.
-Oh, Mother, not the castor oil.
-Lots of things. Buddy, mostly.
-Buddy. Well, now, that's a nice name, I like it. I am real pleased to meet you. Hey, look, do you think you got a cold drink of ice water somewhere?
-Rose, who were those scoundrels in Birmingham?
-Nobody.
-But who were they?
-They were just bad men, that's all.
-In what sense were they bad?
-Bad is bad, Buddy. There ain't no sense to it.
-Was that what they tried to do? Was that why Daddy gave you the job, to save you from those scoundrels?
-Your Daddy is a wonderful man, I'll say that. He's the best and most kind-hearted man in the world.
-Hey, Rose, did you hear about that terrible thing down in Cave Springs?
-What terrible thing in Cave Springs?
-I didn't hear you. I didn't hear that.
-He really did, he ate his little niece. He made pork chops out of her.
-I don't hear you. I just turn my back on that kind of talk and look away.
-Well, it's only the truth. There are horrible things in the world, Rose.
-No, I'm awake. What's the matter?
-Buddy, I am wandering in a wilderness, lost. I just feel awful. Do you mind if I get in bed with you for a little while?
-I thought I'd go crazy back there in that room all by myself with nobody to talk to. As a child, I never had no room all to myself, we were awful poor. Buddy... I have got a confession to make.
-What is it, Rose?
-It's so terrible I can't tell you. Oh, Buddy, you don't know how it hurts to have a broken heart, what a terrible feeling it is, and I've had a broken heart so many times. Men, I don't understand them, I can't figure them out and they break my heart, that's all. I can't find Mr. Right, Buddy, I can't find him no matter
-What'd you do, Rose?
-Buddy, I was horrible. I can't tell you who it was, but do you know what I did? I sat on his lap and got ahold of him and wiggled and wiggled my ass on him and was worse'n you could know, a child like you. Why, I let one of my tits fall out deliberate on purpose and practically smack him in the
-You were pretty bad, huh?
-Why, it has just made me ill, Buddy. I'm sick. I don't want to eat nothin', I don't, and me I got a good appetite, that ain't nat'ral for me. I'm ill.
-But, Rose, what is the cause of it all?
-Promise not to tell Doll? -- or nobody? Buddy, it's your Daddy! I'm so much in love with him I am out of my mind!
-But, Rose, how could such a thing as that happen?
-Hmmm, it's soft. It's awful soft.
-What did you expect?
-Well, I thought they were more like a cantaloupe.
-Ha ha ha, that's some idea, a cantaloupe.
-There's some kind of gristle in it, though.
-Buddy, quit that, you're just a child, you're not supposed to be interested in such things.
-Actually, I am, though.
-You know, that Daddy of yours is the funniest man, the things he says, you never know what's going to come out of his mouth next.
-Can I put my hand inside your nightgown, Rose?
-No, you can't. And I'll tell you this -- he scares me. As kind as he is, he scares me. You can't fool around with him, not with that man. And, boy, I sure better not try nothin' like that with him again, he'll fire me.
-Rose, can't I see what the nipple on it is like?
-Buddy, what's come over you? A child like you, askin' such things.
-Just for a second. Please, Rose, what's the harm?
-Buddy, you don't realize it but what you're doing isn't nice.
-Aw, come on, Rose, I want to see what the nipple on it is like.
-You don' t need to know that. It's none of your business.
-Well, are you satisfied now? Can we just lie and talk, huh?
-Hmmph. It has a nipple, all right.
-'Course it does.
-First I couldn't feel it, but now I feel it easily, it's like a little acorn.
-All right, that's enough. You're just a child and wouldn't understand it, but that type of thing can stir a girl up. Now lie back and we'll talk.
-That was very interesting. Thank you, Rose.
-Don't mention it.
-It was softer'n I thought, that was my main impression. You know, if you hit a girl there it would hurt her a lot.
-Who would want to do such a thing as that?
-Well, some fiend might.
-You know, Buddy, sometimes I can't figure you out at all. You can be very nice, but like your mother said there's an evil streak in you.
-There's an evil streak in everybody, Rose.
-There ain't none in your Daddy. You know, what happened has just made me love him all the more. I not only love him, I respect him, I admire him.
-Rose, I have a serious favor to ask you.
-Most men wouldn't do what he done. If they can get a girl they go right ahead and get her -- I guess to hell they do, just like a dern rabbit. 'Course later they'll tell her she's no good when they done the same thing their selves. They're a bunch of monkeys. I like 'em, but they're a bunch of monkeys.
-Why, Buddy, shut your mouth! What an awful thing to say, and where did you get any such idea as that, anyhow?
-I'm curious to see what it's like. I'm very curious, Rose.
-Well, now that is just too bad! Curiosity killed the cat.
-Yeah, but satisfaction brought him back. Can I?
-No! You ought to be ashamed of yourself astin' such a nasty things a child your age!
-Can't I touch it a little, Rose -- not a lot, just a little?
-Of course you can't! I'm... I'm shocked at you, Buddy, real shocked! Now you be quiet or I'm going back to my own bed!
-Please, Rose. I'm curious, that's all, I have a natural curiosity, it's only human. You're my friend, aren't you? Don't you like me? I like you, Rose, a lot -- in fact, I love you.
-Well, you're sweet, but you don't really love me.
-Yes, I do. Please, Rose, be a good sport.
-Buddy, you're just a child.
-I'm thirteen. And I have a natural curiosity. It's only nature, Rose, that's all. Now what's wrong with nature, huh?
-You better quit that.
-But Rose...
-I must be outta my mind. Buddy, quit it.
-Am I hurting you?
-No. No, you're not hurting me. But I think you better quit it.
-But why, if I'm not hurting you?
-Rose, are you all right? Are you sick or something?
-Buddy, you wouldn't tell nobody, would you?
-Don't worry, Rose, I won't tell a soul.
-I sure hope you don't. I gotta get outta here, good night.
-I hate to turn on this light, you Daddy's awake downstairs, but I have to take the chance. Buddy, please don't tell on me.
-I said I wouldn't.
-Rose, they could stick splinters under my fingernails, and I will never say a word! I will never tell them, because... I love you!
-Well, Ill tell you this. I have learned a lesson tonight. I wasn't gonna run around, but when I start botherin' your Daddy and worse robbin' a cradle, I gotta face the facts of life. Tomorrow mornin', I'm gonna get myself up and go out.
-You're going to get yourself up and go out?
-Here comes Daddy.
-Did your Momma really give you castor oil?
-Yeah.
-Rose, you must know who the fellow is.
-I got an awful toothache.
-Rose, if you don't keep your boyfriends away from the house, Daddy is going to fire you.
-Oh, he's so kind, so gentle inside, and so unhappy with that rich wife who doesn't understand him, her being a Southerner and everything, and what a bedside manner he has got -- so gentle and kind beneath the professor way he acts!
-Rose, you are too uncritical of people.
-You don't know the bedside manner that man has got. Why, it does me good just to see him sit there all solemn and go pokin' in his bag like he's gonna cure me, which he did of course. And even more important he loves me, like a patient I mean, the other day he got tears in his eyes just listenin' to my
-He did?
-Yeah, he tried to hide it but I saw 'em, and a little bit he says to me, "You know, you are beautiful." Now wasn't that a nice thing for a doctor to say to a patient, wasn't it? What could cheer a girl up more?
-Rose, I have got doubts about that doctor and so does Daddy.
-He's got doubts about hisself and that's the saddest thing of all. Would you believe that poor man thinks nobody likes him?
-Yeah, I'd believe it.
-Well, I like him. I used to be afraid of doctors but not any more. Why, he could operate on me any old time and I wouldn't even be scared.
-Rose, you are just entirely too uncritical of people.
-Oh, Buddy, they're gonna cut me all up! They're gonna cut my stummick all open, I'll die!
-You won't die, Rose.
-I gotta find out what they're saying. You lie back and rest, Rose, and I'll give you a report on it.
-Hi, Buddy. How's my sweetheart who never told on me when I was bad?
-Okay.
-Makin' homes for purple martins, huh? We had 'em on the farm. They're the prettiest things. That's what I wish I was, a bird. Just fly around catch bugs and have a lot of fun.
-What are you going to do, Rose?
-I guess I'll work as a waitress, Buddy. I done that before and it got me in worse trouble than you could know, but I can't stay here no more. Why did you get rid of your rabbits, Buddy?
-They're dumb things. I got tired of them.
-Did you know when I was a child we had pretty near five hundred rabbits?
-Five hundred rabbits?
-Yep, we had 'em in orange crates all over. It was Daddy's dream. He was goin' to get rich raisin' rabbits. It was what killed Daddy. He didn't drown hisself till a long time later after Momma and Lunette died of typhoid, but it was them rabbits what killed him.
-How did the rabbits kill him?
-He thought he could sell 'em, but nobody but country folks eat rabbits, Buddy, and they ain't got no money. We had to eat them dern rabbits our own selves. Every dern one, and it took about four years to eat 'em all up.
-Well, that doctor said you got protein somewhere and I guess he was right.
-Boy did I get sick of rabbit. But later on after Momma died and Daddy wasn't doin' nothin' but drinkin', I sure would of been glad for a little rabbit stew. You know, I oughtn't to of told you about what Daddy done when I was a child. Until them rabbits ruined him, he was a real good man, Buddy.
-What was your mother like?
-Maybe it was eating all those rabbits that made you sexy, Rose.
-Neither do I.
-Oh, Waski, you don't even know what we're talking about.
-Yeah, I know.
-Oh, Waski, you don't know anything.
-I do, too!
-All right, what do you know?
-He did lie, and... and... and Mother, yesterday he stole money out of your pocketbook!
-Of course not!
-You were up late last night, Brother.
-Well, a little.
-Reading dirty comic bocks. And you admitted it?
-Son, was Rose in your room last night?
-I never saw anything like it. How did she pick him up so fast?
-I don't know.
-Is that Doctor still up there, Brother.
-Yeah, he's still up there.
-What do you think, Brother?
-I don't know. But you better watch him like a hawk, if he comes back again.
-See that, son? Now this is a heel, see, and there, that's the ball of a foot. Someone has been walking here.
-Well, it's not very plain.
-That is because it rained recently, the rain has obscured the evidence. But you could still take plaster casts of these footprints, then match up the plaster casts with whosever shoes they are, and that way you could catch him -- understand?
-But how would you find him?
-Well. Well, what I mean is, you could prove it was his shoes if you did catch him. But look this, Brother, it is even more interesting. Look at this mark here, and that mark over there. Now wouldn't you say those marks are the marks of a ladder?
-Well, I don't know. No, I don't know, Daddy, I think the rain has obscured it.
-See, son? The paint is flaked off here, freshly. Look at it, Brother, there is no question about it. Some person or persons unknown have very recently tampered with this ladder.
-Well... maybe...
-Open that door, damn you!
-Daddy, what's the matter?
-I heard you talking. Hasn't Rose come in?
-The new girl is here.
-Wonderful. What's she like, Brother? What is your impression of her?
-Your impression is very reassuring, Brother. Of course she's had troubles, poor thing, but I sensed that was that the girl was like and I'm glad to have it reconfirmed.
-You mean confirmed, Mother. I didn't confirm it before. I would have had to confirm it previously, in order for it to be reconfirmed.
-All right, all right. Doll and Waski are upstairs taking their nap, you go get them and bring them down to the living room. Where is the girl?
-In the kitchen drinking all the ice water in Glenville. She walked out here, she didn't go by the hotel.
-Brother, when I have to wake you up at eleven o'clock in the morning you're either sick or you were up very late last night. And you weren't reading Huckleberry Finn. I looked and its not in your room. Now what were you doing?
-Mother, I have to tell the truth. I wasn't reading Huckleberry Finn, I was reading one of those Little Dirty Comic Books.
-Mother, cant you make it calomel instead of castor oil?
-This is for your own good. When you look at negative, destructive things like those little filthy comic books, you are sick. Here, take this.
-Geccch, yehh, guhhhh!
-Stop gagging like that and putting on a show, and swallow it.
-Uhhh, gahdam stuff!
-What did you say, Brother?
-I said ahhh-dam stuff.
-No, you didn't say that, Brother.
-Children, children! Be quiet, all of you! The vibrations in this house are strange today. Where's Rose, anyhow?
-She's getting herself up to go out.
-What'd you say, Brother?
-She's getting herself up to go out. I think she's coming down the hall now.
-Heh, what a hypocrite.
-Excuse me, gotta go to bathroom.
-Now I have a plan about Rose, an educational plan. She's getting better and we don't want any more trouble -- Brother, you ought to hear this.
-Rose is almost as sentimental as Mother. If there's one thing I can't stand it's sentimentality. In Chattanooga this man committed an almost perfect murder. He killed his wife with a black widow spider.
-Daddy says Rose is calm as lettuce. Do you believe that, Doll?
-It's pitiful. Neither one of them know.
-I think Daddy suspects.
-It's really pitiful. She's in bad shape.
-She's watching the car again?
-Yeah.
-There goes Mother.
-Yeah.
-Let's go peep from the living room.
-I think she's gonna kiss him.
-I can't see. What are they doing, what's happening?
-They're discussing it.
-This is my place and you can't have it.
-Ohhh-hh... what's happening now?
-He's trying to get up -- good God, one of her titties is out!
-Now I can't see. What are they doing?
-Wow! Brrrother!
-What are they doing?
-Buddy, this is amazing, you wouldn't believe it.
-What are they doing, Doll?
-He kissed her.
-Is that all?
-He had his hand on her titty.
-She's putting the titty back.
-Buddy, that was pretty snotty of you, pushing me away like that just when it was interesting.
-Wasn't Daddy wonderful? He wanted to kiss her some more and play with her, but he didn't, because he loves Mother and all of us, and he loves Rose, too. Isn't he wonderful, isn't he great?
-Wonderful? He kissed her and played with her titty, and I don't see anything so great about that. He was probably afraid Mother would come back early and catch him.
-No, Mother, he's lying...
-Chattanooga. I had St. Louis, Missouri.
-Buddy, I'm worried about Rose.
-So am I.
-She hasn't got any sense. In some ways, she's awful dumb.
-It isn't that she hasn't got any sense, Doll. Her basic intelligence is probably above average, maybe quite a bit above average.
-Then why does she act so dumb?
-What is Rose going to do? Where can she go?
-They've been in there the longest kind of time. I can't stand it, I gotta find out what's going on.
-What's happening?
-Mother is struggling desperately. In fact she's fighting like a tiger. But I don't know, it's close, it's mighty close.
-Buddy... does Rose really... "do it" with all those boys and men?
-Well, if she's got any sense at all, she'll listen to that.
-What's goin' on?
-Rose says she's goin' to have a baby and she sure looks it, but I don't think so.
-A baby... and she isn't even married.
-That's the least of her troubles. Rose had a rare tropic disease and the little tubes in her that babies swim down are all stopped up, she told me all about it.
-Why is it taking so long?
-Well, you rascal, where'd you come from?
-Hello, Daddy. How are you?
-About as good as can be expected with one foot in the grave. Good to see you, son. Did you bring any of that Yankee whisky with you?
-It isn't Yankee whisky, Daddy, it's Scotch.
-I can use a drink after the plane ride I had.
-Your wife and children are back in New Hampshire in the snow?
-Are they polar bears, too?
-Good God, the way you live here. This place hasn't been dusted since Mother died. Look at that goddamned refrigerator.
-Got another twenty years in it, boy. By the way, son, do you recall Rose, that pretty blonde girl who came to our house way back in 1935 or 1936 and caused such a damnable commotion.
-Of course I recall Rose. In fact I've been thinking of no one else for the last hour and a half.
-How could that be, son?
-What's all this about Rose? What do you mean, you heard from her in a manner of speaking?
-Oh, I heard from her, I got a letter from her, she's fine. But there is some sad news.
-What sad news? Did her cancer come back?
-Oh, no, no, she got all over that. Rose is fine. Let's sit down, son.
-Is her husband sick or something?
-The pitiful son of a bitch said Rose was a nymphomaniac.
-Um-hmm, and I suppose that incensed you?
-You're damn right it incensed me, the miserable bastard. He also said the kikes and the niggers have taken over Washington. D.C.
-Yeah, I know, he was up here. It's pitiful like you say. When he lost Rose it ruined the man, it destroyed him totally when he lost Rose.
-He didn't lose her, he threw her away.
-Yes, I guess he did. He threw her away and it was the mistake of his life.
-You know, I don't know this town any more. All this traffic, new buildings, prosperity... Where have the years gone, Daddy? Where is the little town I knew as a boy?
-At rest in the creative universe with Mother, son.
-That's what she would say herself.
-A wonderful woman, boy.
-It always gives me a funny feeling to come home. Dear old Southland. Gone. It's all gone, Daddy -- -- except you, you're still here.
-Not for long, boy. I've outstayed my welcome already.
-It's funny you would mention Rose, I was thinking about her all the way up in the car. Or maybe it isn't so funny.
-I'm older than hell, boy. But this Yankee whisky is mighty fine, I'll say that.
-All right, Daddy. We have our drink, we're out on the patio, you have prepared me for it. Rose's cancer has come back, hasn't it?
-No, son, she is dead.
-Dead, Rose is dead? You mean... she died?
-I am afraid so, son. About a week ago. Her husband phoned me, she had asked him to call me if anything happened.
-But... but how? She was young! Rose wasn't old!
-She was fifty-six, son. Of course she didn't look it, nowhere near it. The cancer came back, I'm afraid I fibbed about that. But it was very quick, son. She was in the hospital only two weeks, and the last week she didn't know anything.
-Well, you have knocked me for a hell of a loop, old man. A hell of a loop.
-I know. You loved her. So did I. It was an awful shock to me, too. An awful shock. Rose was so alive it's hard to believe.
-I can't believe it, Daddy. I know it must be true, but I can't believe it.
-Why Rose? Why Rose, Daddy?
-Nobody lives forever, boy. Who'd want to?
-That's a hell of a thing to say. Why, Rose?
-Now look, boy, get a grip on yourself. Rose had a good life. She found her. Right, didn't she? She triumphed over everything, what are you blubbering about?
-The point is you don't grow up like that on a diet of sorghum and hominy grits. She got protein somewhere, she's a very strong girl and I think she'll live... despite the delay in medical treatment.
-Well, it's a disaster. I don't know what to say, Doctor, I am floored. How dangerous is the operation?
-Any major operation is dangerous. However, as we know from her previous illness, she's a very strong girl.
-Well, if it isn't malignant and she can get through the operation all right, it might be better than her really being pregnant. She doesn't even know who the father might have been.
-Go ahead, Doctor, I think I am following you.
-First, about the girl's history. Evidently she's been very promiscuous since early childhood, she has no control over her sexual impulses. Furthermore, she is permanently barren, she can't have children.
-I am ahead of you.
-Then... may I speak quite frankly with you, Mr. Hillyer?
-Please do.
-I have of course observed the girl in treating her.
-Of course.
-I think we both know her.
-It isn't the fourth dimension. To you it's the fourth dimension, maybe, to me it's simply the truth.
-Good morning, sweetheart. Beautiful day.
-Yes, it's so nice I thought I'd work outside.
-How goes it, darlin'?
-Slow, hon. But at least I can concentrate now that Rose is here.
-Turn up your hearing aid.
-What?
-Your hearing aid, it's buzzing at me like a snake.
-Oh. Did you say something?
-I asked you what you think of Rosebud, now that she's been here a while.
-Honey, she's perfect. She works all the time and she's wonderful with the children. And they love her, even Brother likes her though he won't admit it. I think she's just perfect.
-Um-hmm. Almost too perfect.
-And she's such a good-hearted thing, there isn't an ounce of harm or malice in her.
-Well, I'll admit I don't see any flies on her yet.
-There are no flies on Rose, I don't know what you're talking about.
-Well, let's hope for the best, darlin'.
-Hope for the best? I don't understand all this skepticism. I thought you liked Rose.
-I love Rosebud, I am wild about Rosebud. I just hope she doesn't turn out to be a hidden hotcha character, that's all. We have growing children in the house.
-Hotcha character. If I had to live with your cynicism, I wouldn't want to live at all. What you can't understand is that the creative forces of the universe are positive, not negative.
-All right, darlin', don't go off into the fourth dimension.
-I'm not in the fourth dimension -- -- you are in the fourth dimension, when you allow skepticism and doubt to take control. As Blake said, if God had doubt the sun would go out.
-Forgive my crudity, darlin'. I don't understand these deeper things the way you do.
-Be nice to Rose. She's never had a real home.
-I'll drive you, darlin'. You've got no business behind the wheel of an automobile. You don't think about what you're doing and you'll run into a telephone pole.
-I think about what I'm doing all the time, and I've got as much business behind the wheel of an automobile as anybody. Besides, I want you to stay and help Rose with the dishes, the poor girl isn't feeling well.
-What's the matter, hon? Is anything wrong?
-Um-hmm. Well, that is the damndest outfit I ever saw in my life. You walk down the street like that and they'll put you in jail, Rose.
-Lay off of that stuff, son. It upsets your mother.
-I'm serious. We forget he's just a child. I wish you'd speak to him.
-They'll put her in jail. The damn little fool might as well be naked.
-Well, it is a little tight. But it isn't as bad as all that. No one will notice unless they have such thoughts in the first place.
-Who doesn't have such thoughts? We'd better get going.
-You're not having lunch?
-Just half-a-cup of coffee. I never eat, darlin', you know that. Not eating and reverse insomnia are my curses. Let's go, Rose, you and Brother, let's hit the road.
-I wish you wouldn't pick on Rose and tease her like that. Of course her clothes are silly, but she's ignorant, naive, she doesn't know any better.
-The girl worries me. If she walks down the street like that, an army will be following her.
-Well, I admit that outfit isn't very modest. But she doesn't mean any harm, she just wants to attract, attention.
-She will succeed.
-I don't think you understand her. It isn't sex she wants, it's love she wants and this is the only way she knows how to get it.
-That farmer in Gadsden was awful eager to get rid of her, and I'm beginning to see why.
-He and his wife both said she had a fine moral character and was wonderful with children.
-Well, she loves children, all right. She loves everybody.
-But that's a wonderful quality, not a bad quality. Have a little patience with her. She's such a good-hearted little thing and tries so hard.
-You are the one who's good-hearted. As for Rose, let's hope for the best.
-Be kind to her. She loves you so much. In a perfectly proper way, of course.
-Well, she's back.
-What time is it?
-Quarter of twelve.
-Is she all right?
-Why shouldn't she go out and have boyfriends?
-No reason at all, darlin'.
-Well, I wish you'd stop criticizing and picking on her.
-Forgive my crudity, darlin'. All I'm saying is that a girl who would wear clothes like that is going to get in trouble sooner or later.
-Well, time will tell, won't it?
-That sulky boy was here again this afternoon. I was almost scared, he wouldn't go away.
-Well, it isn't Rose's fault boys and men like her. You cant blame her for that, hon.
-Oh, shut up, Rose. Shut your mouth and quit crying!
-I will not sit here and listen to you be brutal to this poor girl.
-I am not being brutal to her!
-You certainly are! She has an awful toothache, look at her jaw, it's all swollen.
--- I am not responsible for her epizootics and I did not bring about her epizootics. Now listen to me. When I have to get up in the middle of the night and defend my home with a shotgun against a couple of damned scoundrels fistfighting in the bushes --
-Scoundrels? They weren't scoundrels, they were just boys.
-Boys? You say to me boys?
-Yes! Yes, I say that to you, they were boys! Boy friends of Rose, chat's what they were, and why shouldn't she have boy friends? Do you want her to be unnatural? Don't you think she's human the same way you are yourself? It's the South, that's what it is, the South with its horrible traditions, of slavery and crime and the oppression of
-Now darlin', what has the South got to do with this?
-And when I try to talk to you seriously, when I try to explain to you the unlimited creative power of life, how beautiful it would be if we gave up this hopeless struggle and simply loved each other from our hearts, what do you do -- you mock me!
-Now you listen to me, Rose --
-Just a moment! You are not going to fire this girl for an innocent thing like having boy friends, not while there is breath in my body!
-I don't intend to fire her, darlin'.
-It isn't her fault if she's popular... what?
-I said I don't intend to fire her. I just want to ask her to keep her boy friends away from my home and hearth, that's all.
-I'm sorry, darlin', I hate it as much as you do.
-Well, she does seem to cause a lot of trouble, I admit. But she doesn't mean any harm and it'll break the children's hearts, they all love her.
-It's because of the children she's got to go. I don't want to be holier-than-thou, but the girl doesn't have the same outlook we do. Morals don't mean a thing to her, not a thing, and we can't have a girl like that in this house.
-Who is to say our morals are better than hers? But maybe you're right. She could... influence Dolly...
-That is exactly what I'm afraid of. The girl has got to go, darlin'.
-But morals come from the heart, not from rigid rules and empty laws. And in her heart Rose has never hurt anyone and she never would. Therefore, she's not immoral. Not really.
-Now look, darlin', this is no time to go off into the fourth dimension.
-How could Rose really be a bad influence on Dolly? She has a loving nature, you ought to want someone like that around your children. Why do you think those boys and men like her?
-Well, I have a pretty good idea.
-If you mean sex, you couldn't be more wrong. Rose likes those boys and men, she has love in her heart, and that is what they want. It's the most rare and beautiful thing in life and that is why they follow her.
-They follow her because she's a -- -- no, I won't say that.
-What she doesn't understand is that her behavior is disturbing to other people. She's young, she's got to learn to restrain the life force that's in her. Its creative, but in her case it's too creative.
-Darlin', Rose has got to go!
-Excuse me, sir, are you calling my wife a liar?
-I can't stand that polecat. They ought to hang him.
-You don't like him because he's a Yankee. He's a brilliant doctor.
-Rosebud looked pretty pitiful in that bed. I hope she'll be all right, but I still think we ought to fire her.
-Honey, Dr. Martinson isn't a rascal, he's one of the finest physicians in Glenville. He studied at Johns Hopkins University.
-I don't care where the polecat studied.
-She's like a different person. Being so sick made a big impression on her. I really think she's learned a lesson.
-She hasn't actually done anything...
-It has been three weeks since I "fired" her. Is there no way to get rid of this girl? Are we stuck with her for life?
-She can't get a job, it's a depression. And we can't just throw her out on the street.
-She does look a little peaky.
-Her plan is obvious, plain as day. She's going on a hunger strike. The question is, how do we foil her?
-She's just nervous and worried. And you would be, too, if you had no job and no place to go.
-Honey, Rose was born on a farm and has terrible memories of farm life. Now I don't think --
-Just a minute, Rose, you don't understand. This isn't a dirt farm like the one you were born on, it's nice. A neighbor of Cousin Hop's, I talked to him on the phone, a fine man... it's not a farm, damn it, it's a beautiful dairy establishment! Stop crying, Rose! Do you hear me? Stop crying, it's ideal!
-I don't know how you can call it ideal -- don't you know what the word "farm" means to her?
-I don't give a hoot in hell's hollow what it means to her! She can't stay in this house forever! I fired her, damn it!
-It sounds like a farm to me. Calling it a dairy establishment, that's just trickery and flummery.
-This is a total catastrastroke. As of this moment I am stumped, I admit, I am stumped and treed both, the hound dogs have me surrounded.
-You're not going to get anywhere with that line of questioning. The problem is, what are we going to do?
-That's why I'm asking her who the father is. It's the most vital question of all. Who's the father, dear?
-She already told you, she doesn't know.
-Ah, ha! Hold the phone! No forwarding address, huh? In the shock of this brilliant move, I forgot something.
-What did you forget?
-Honey!
-I'd say about three months. Are you satisfied?
-This conversation is making me a little sick.
-Reluctantly, I do. It would be a blessing to her and everyone else. The girl is oversexed and I say -- spay her!
-I thought I knew you. I thought I knew you better, I thought in your heart you were a good and kind man. Well, I can't believe what I've just heard in this room. A defenseless girl depending on you for protection, and you propose to mutilate and destroy her. How could you listen even for a moment to that sadistic man?
-Well, now, darlin'... give me a chance to defend myself.
-I can't believe you really meant it, if I did I'd want to die. You aren't a male monster, that man is but you aren't. Look me in the eye and tell me, do you really want to take Rose's womanhood away from her when it's all she has got?
-Well, I... I hadn't thought about it that much. I was thinking... well, it's an idea, the girl is oversexed, and...
-Rose isn't oversexed, that's ridiculous. If you're going to talk nonsense, I don't want to talk to you at all. Rose is exactly the same as the rest of us, except more so.
-Well, I know, more so. That's why I was thinking... maybe she'd be better off.
-How is she?
-It's twenty after one.
-I don't understand it. Even in the wild days she was never as late as this.
-Why, that looks like Dave Wilkie,
-Who?
-Well, thank God we are rid of her at last. And the best thing of all is that she's happy. The little nut is happy, she found Mr. Right in the nick of time!
-Well, yes, she's happy. Of course Dave doesn't have her life force, not at all. There isn't much furniture in his house, just a table and one or two chairs, whereas Rose has furniture coming out of the windows.
-Honey, he is Mr. Right.
-Yes, sir.
-All right. Now as head of this household I have a couple of remarks to make. It is my dear wife's belief, which I accept although I do not totally grasp it, that to hire a person to do household work is a criminal practice. Therefore, you are here not as a servant, you are here as a friend, as a guest and hopefully
-Rosebaby Blossom, these are the most delicious candied yams I ever ate! Why, they just melt in my mouth. And this fried chicken is fit for a king. How do you do it, Peachbird? What is the secret of your art, Plum Blossom, huh?
-Oh, I don't know, I... I...
-Rosebird Baby, you are the light of my life, darlin'. How did we ever get by without you?
-Ahh-hem! Now, Rose, get off my lap. What are you doing, girl? Are you crazy?
-Yes, crazy about you! Kiss me, Mr. Hillyer!
-Why, I'm not going to kiss you, you crazy girl. Now I'm telling you again, get off my lap. Come on, Rose, get up. Now you get up, I say, and stop this!
-All right, all right. Now calm down, Rose, the children will hear you. Calm down, let's talk... about this thing, let's discuss it.
-Don't make me... me... me... get up!
-Goddamn you, girl! You've made me make a fool out of myself, damn your hide, but let me tell you I am standing at the pass of Thermopylae and I won't budge! The very idea, my own home with children in the house, to say nothing of my wife -- oh-h, you had better believe I am standing at Thermopylae, you little nut, you
-Rose, Rose, Rose, you poor miserable little child, don't you know I love you? Do I have to put my hand on your body or kiss your pretty lips to prove it? You are beautiful to me, Rose, I've loved you since you first came here, darlin'. And don't you know Mrs. Hillyer loves you, too, that she's already taken you into her heart,
-Oh, I know. She's so sweet, she's been so good to me...
-Rose, what are you doing up?
-Nothin', just goin' to the bathroom.
-Is anything wrong?
-No, sir.
-Nothin'. I got myself up, that's all.
-Got yourself up?
-You're so sweet.
-If you've got time before you go "out," get me a half-a-cup of coffee, Rose. Not a whole cup, a half-a-cup.
-Why, sure, always got time to get you a half-a-cup, and one of these days I'm gonna get you a whole cup and see what happens.
-That's a pretty stylish skirt, Rose. The only thing I don't understand is how did you ever get it on.
-How can the buttons stand the pressure?
-What have you got in your hair, girl?
-You were up late last night, too, Rose.
-Where do you want me to let you out, Rose?
-Oh, anywhere downtown.
-You don't know where you're going?
-Is this ill right?
-Well, Rose, my sleep was a little disturbed last night, and so was Mrs. Hillyer's, and so was the children's. How about you? Was your sleep disturbed, too?
-Yes, Mr. Hillyer, it was. I... I heard strange voices in the night.
-Strange voices, Rose?
-Yes, sir.
-Ohhh-hh, ohhh...
-Oh, shut up, Rose, eat your cornflakes!
-Darlin', I'll take a taxi to the hotel. You and Brother can handle the girl's epizootics. I'll just say one more thing. Rose, I told you you had a friend in Mrs. Hillyer, didn't I, that she would fight for you like a tiger?
-Yes, sir.
-All right, thanks to her, and thanks to this case of epizootics, you are getting another chance. But don't try my patience again. We have growing children in this house. Do you understand me?
-Good morning, Rose. And how do you feel today?
-Wonderful. Except I can touch the place back there with my tongue, I wouldn't even know I had that tooth pulled.
-Well, I know it, I just got the bill for it.
-Boy, for four or five days there I didn't think I'd live. But I'm my old self again!
-Umm. Well. Yes. But no more strange voices in the night, Rose.
-I got an awful bad cold.
-That's all you've got to say, you've got a bad cold?
-I didn't mean to bite him. He was hitting Horton with a blackjack in the meanest way and... and I bit him accidental.
-I have to go back to the hotel. I'm on duty at the desk and who knows a quest might arrive. I will see you at suppertime, Rose.
-I didn't mean to bite him, I really didn't.
-I will see you at suppertime, Rose.
-I mean a human investment, Rose, we care about you, you matter to us. But we have innocent and unformed children in this house and the monkey and dog show has got to stop. Do you hear me?
-There ain't nobody here, Mr. Hillyer! Honest, there ain't!
-And who, Rose, may I ask, is that?
-Well, it's Billy.
-And what, may I ask, was Billy doing here?
-Well, Mr. Hillyer, Billy's very poor, he don't have no money and there wasn't no place else to go.
-Well, it was a silly question.
-He's a nice boy, you'd like him. He wants to be a fireman.
-Ye gods and little fishes, a fireman. Put on some clothes, Rose, you're naked as a jay bird. When you're dressed, come on downstairs. I'm afraid your friend Billy is injured, where are his clothes?
-Mr. Hillyer, I know it was bad and I hadn't ought to of done it. But I'm only a human girl and I... I ain't always perfect. I promise I won't let him in the house no more, I promise. Won't you and Mrs. Hillyer forgive me?
-Well, Rose, going out to look for a job today?
-What's the use, there ain't none.
-God forbid. You're not sick, Rose, forget it. Don't get any notions in your head, you're not sick.
-Well, I have got news! I called long distance and spoke to Cousin Hop and you'll be glad to know, Rose, I have found you a job!
-Tennessee?
-Yes, Tennessee, a lovely state!
-Well. What kinda job is it?
-Ahh-hh, you'll like it. It's a fine, outdoor-type job.
-You mean a farm?
-I'm not cryin' because of me, I'm cryin' because of somebody else.
-What baby? What baby? What baby are you speaking about?
-Mine.
-Your baby?
-Yes, mine. I'm going to have one.
-Yes, I am.
-No, you're not.
-Yes, Mr. Hillyer, I am.
-All right, tell us, Rose, what makes you think you're pregnant?
-I haven't had my period for three months and my stomach is getting big.
-I don't believe it.
-It's so, Mr. Hillyer.
-You're looking very chipper this morning, Rose. Sow do you feel?
-Perfect, wonderful, good as I ever felt! Except for a big old scar on my stummick, I wouldn't even know I been in the hospital.
-Well, we know you were there. The bill that hospital sent was absolutely horrendous.
-Rose... I hate to be mean, but... Oh, nevermind, forget it.
-What was it, Mr. Hillyer?
-Excuse me... your voice is familiar and I'm sure I know you from somewhere...
-Awww-rr, Buddy, come on, you know me!
-Well, I... I... ah-h, let's see...
-It's Dave Wilkie! I'm Dave Wilkie, don't you remember me?
-Well, I am in the construction business, Buddy, and without braggin' I have done real good at it. There are those who wouldn't have expected that out of me. Right now I'm buildin' a giant motel unit near Alexandria, outside Washington, D.C. Not fi-nance, I'm on the construction side.
-Well, that's interesting, Dave. I always liked Washington, it's a pretty town.
-Ha ha, course you make a lot more. What's that you got there, Buddy?
-Galley proof.
-Galley what?
-Page proof of a book I'm working on.
-How about that. Well, you always were a screwball.
-Oh, yeah?
-I don't mean that the way it sounds. Imagine it, a book. And I used to know you personal way back when. Tell me something, Buddy, how do you dream up all that stuff?
-Well, actually, we have a little black boy named Her---t who lives in the garage. He does it for me.
-Heh heh heh heh, same old Buddy, always jokin' around. Almost as much of a joker as your Daddy. I saw your Daddy a coupla years ago, I was up in Glenville lookin' at a motel site. I guess that's where you're headed, huh, to see him?
-That's right, Dave, I'm headed for Glenville on a whisperin' jet.
-Took your time gettin' here.
-Tell me about that job in Alexandria, Dave, the big motel you're building.
-Near Alexandria. It isn't in Alexandria, it is outside it.
-I see. Outside it.
-Um-m, well...
-Doubted my ability all along, the little bitch. I never remarried, Buddy, you know that, don't you?
-Well, no, I didn't actually.
-She didn't marry him, though, later she married another guy and went to Winston-Salem. It didn't last That girl couldn't have no lastin' marriage, she left him and married another dumb sucker and went out west. Little bitch left him, too, and you know what she's married to right now? A kike. That's right, some kind of kike horse doctor named Schapiro out in
-Dave, you are as full of shit as a Christmas turkey and you know it. Now if you want to start a fight on this plane and get yourself in jail, go right ahead. But I am telling you, you are full of shit right up to your eyeballs.
-I don't want to start no fight with you, Buddy. Why do you say I'm full of shit?
-Dave Schapiro is no horse doctor and Rose has been a good wife to him for a long time. To call her a nymphomaniac is the most stupid thing I ever heard in my life.
-You loved her, didn't you. Well, so did I. You'll have to admit she had four husbands.
-Yeah, it took her a while to grow up and find Mr. Right, but she did it. She found him.
-She used to call me Mr. Right. Remember that, Buddy?
-Well, got to get a plane to Savannah. Great running into you, Buddy. Give my best to your Daddy.
-Yeah, I'll do that, Dave.
-Ah-h, if you happen to run into Rose sometime... do me a favor, give her a message for me, will you?
-You might see her. She writes your Daddy, and she and that doctor came to see him, didn't they? I wish you'd tell her something... I never could write letters.
-What do you want me to tell her, Dave?
-I don't like that, either, it's worse than Waski. I want to be called Fran.
-Yes, dear, what is it?
-Daddy, Buddy was up late last night reading little dirty comic books. Mother gave him a dose of castor oil and he cursed it, he took the Lords name in vain, then claimed he hadn't said it. He lied, Daddy.
-You mustn't be a tattletale, dear. You mustn't be Delilah-ish and Jezebel-ish toward your brother, dear.
-What's the matter with him?
-Well, Mrs. Hillyer, the girl is strong as an ox and that is what is keeping her alive. But not many people walk away from double pneumonia, Madam, not many.
-She looks terrible, just awful.
-Of course she does and I must say I'm puzzled by your delay in getting her to the hospital. I should think ordinary powers of observation would have suggested to you that she was seriously ill.
-She hid it from us, Doctor. She's afraid of the hospital.
-Afraid of the hospital?
-Deathly afraid of it. Her people were poor tenant farmers and she doesn't know anything about doctors or medicine or hospitals.
-A tenant farm? Are you trying to tell me that girl is a product of the hookworm and pellagra belt?
-Well, her people were very poor. She says she was often hungry as a child, and I'm sure the food she ate was pretty awful, not a balanced diet at all.
-It's simply that I find it incredible, Mr. Hillyer. Aside from the girl's illness at the moment, she is very strong, a very healthy specimen of a young human female -- and a comely one, too. She must have gotten protein somewhere as a young child, if only sporadically.
-Yes, thank you, Doctor.
-Oh, good evening, Doctor. Rose is a lot better, I just gave her her supper. She's almost all well now.
-Let me be the judge of that, Madam.
-I'm not surprised you thought she was pregnant. An ovarian cyst can look very much like pregnancy. But it was pure wishful thinking on her part. The girl can never have children, she had gonorrhea at fifteen and it was untreated.
-Gonorrhea?
-Don't worry, Madam, she can't infect your dear little kiddies. She long ago fully recovered, but the disease did irreparable damage. The girl is permanently barren.
-Well, that's pathetic. Poor Rose, what a life she has had.
-We make our own lives, Madam. As for malignancy, I don't think so, it's very unlikely. I probably shouldn't have even mentioned that possibility to her.
-No, you shouldn't have, it was needlessly cruel. She thinks she has cancer and is going to die.
-I'm sorry the truth nauseates you, Mrs. Hillyer, because before you leave there's a bit more of it I'd like to put to you. This operation provides a therapeutic opportunity that I feel is quite important in regard to this particular girl, who suffers not only from an ovarian cyst but from a certain psychoneurotic condition as well.
-Yes, go on.
-What are you talking about? I don't understand all this mumbo jumbo and the funny looks on your faces.
-Are you human beings or are you some kind of male monsters? Is there no limit to which you won't go to keep your illusions about yourselves?
-Illusions, Madam?
-I will not cry like a woman. If I'm upset it's because of what my husband said, not because of you. You can't make me cry like a woman, a woman has got just as much intelligence and self-control as a man. And you get this in your head. If you hurt that girl, I'll hire lawyers and sue you for malpractice for every
-Yes, I understand you, but you have misunderstood me completely.
-I understand you perfectly. You leave that girl alone, you wretched man, or you will be sorry.
-Actually of course I won't operate, I don't do major surgery. Dr. Hardy will operate and of course he'll be guided by your wishes in this respect.
-Well, she finally let me look in her mouth. Is it true she's never been to a dentist?
-She was raised on a poor dirt farm. I'm sure she's never seen a dentist or hardly even a doctor.
-Well, she has one mouth in ten thousand, I don't see teeth like that once in ten years. Her trouble is an impacted wisdom tooth, but there isn't a cavity in her head, not a single one. She has perfect teeth.
-But the wisdom tooth will have to be pulled?
-Yes, and it's very bad. It probably should be done at the hospital under general anesthesia.
-That would scare her to death. She's terrified of hospitals. To her, a hospital is where you go to die.
-Rose, this is Waski. His real name is Warren but we call him Waski. He doesn't like it much and I suppose someday we'll have to stop calling him that.
-You can stop it right now.
-When he was baby we called him "Wa Wa," a baby name, you know. You will find him a very good boy. His brother can be bad and so can his sister, but Waski is a very good boy. And as you can see he's beautiful.
-Oh, Mother, cut it out.
-Mother... is Rose going to die?
-Oh, no, ma'am.
-What are you studying now, Mrs. Hillyer?
-More history, Rose.
-Are you going to get your degree soon?
-Well, I am working on my thesis.
-It must be wonderful to be so smart. I don't see how you do it, reading all those books, learning all that stuff.
-Rose, you work too hard. Why don't you go sit down somewhere and drink a Co-Cola?
-Really, why don't you go sit down somewhere?
-I like to work. I don't mind work. It's the least I can do after all you and Mr. Hillyer have done for me. You're so sweet. There never was nobody like you.
-Well, you run on now.
-Rose, you're in an awful dither tonight. What's the matter with you, honey, are you sick or something?
-No, ma'am, I'm just fine.
-Well, I think it's charming, Rose. But don't you think... ah, the skirt is a little tight?
-Yes, Ma'am.
-Rose, that scruffy-looking man is out in the yard again.
-Mrs. Hillyer, I don't know who he is, I really don't.
-I don't think we ought to discuss this in front of the children.
-I don't want to go to the dentist.
-Poor thing. Does the ice help, Rose?
-Ohh-hh, a little. Oh-h, I ain't never been to no dentist before. He's gonna kill me, I just know it.
-I'm not goin' in there, I don't like the looks of it!
-Rose, sit down in that chair and be quiet! We're trying to help you, you silly creature, sit in that chair!
-Never again, never again...
-I know it was bad, honey. I'm sorry...
-No more dentists, no more dentists...
-Rose has learned her lesson, haven't you, Rose?
-Rose, you're very sick. You're burning up. Rose, can you hear me? Rose?
-You see, Rose? Now that's the kind of dress you ought to wear.
-Yeah, it's kinda nice.
-You look very pretty in it, Rose. Really, you do.
-Well, you're real sweet to make it for me. There never was nobody like you. And you don't need to worry, I ain't goin' out no more.
-Well, there's no reason you shouldn't go out, Rose... in moderation.
-Rose, you don't look well and you haven't eaten a bit of breakfast.
-Well, I... I... I don't know... maybe it was... but no, you can't be sure about a thing like that. It wasn't Billy, I didn't know him.
-Oh-h, Mrs. Hillyer, I... I can't think. I... I'm not really sure.
-Rose, really, you shouldn't act like that.
-Rose, you don't have to.
-Don't worry, honey, you'll find something.
-I was offered that job as a waitress.
-You'll never guess what happened! I have met Mr. Right! I been with him all day and he loves me, I know he does, he loves me and he's going to marry met Be's practi'cly ast me already!
-Well... well, that's wonderful, Rose.
-I... I can explain...
-I'm looking at this poster, and I'm thinkin', I don't remember seeing films like this when I was in school.
-I was going to tell him.
-What were you gonna say? Exactly how did you think he was gonna make the leap from dating a sweet, innocent school teacher to an ass-fucking porn star?
-Let me tell him. Let him decide.
-You're not gonna see him again.
-What... what makes you think you can order me around?!
-Hasn't he got enough problems, or didn't you notice that's not cream soda on his breath?
-Indivisible and inseparable.
-Incestuous.
-What Eve and I wouldn't give to meet up with you on the business end of a daisy chain.
-Put up your kickstand, freak. Start talking, or we're out the door.
-How much?
-I figure, for this information, the usual payment... times ten.
-You think it's that good?
-I'll tell you what... I think it's all you've got.
-You get nothing and like it. And if we're not blissfully happy with what you tell us, we arrest you just for the fun of it.
-And... ?
-What and? That's what I got.
-A Lincoln? What Lincoln? Lincoln Continental? Lincoln Mark Five... Six... ?
-Now you know what to watch for...
-Have I ever steered you wrong?
-Take her down to the car, and for Christ's sake be careful this time. Last suspect he took in, butter-fingers dropped her down the stairs. What a mess. Why is it we don't appreciate our arms and legs till we've lost the use of them?
-Hey, listen... I'll give you something else, Kittle. Anything. Remember... remember that corpse washed up on Huntington Beach? It was never identified...
-Who cares?
-Alright, wait... there's a dentist in Brentwood peddling morphine...
-Come on, don't you screw with her, please! You... you got to want this: armored car job. CalTrust Bank. They took two million in cash...
-We'll take the CalTrust heist, but if it's no good, we will hunt you down, and Billy-Boy will pull out your spine and he will beat you to death with it.
-This is private property. This is breaking and entering!
-You're Zimmermann's calculator, Archie. All the blood money you had to move around to make this deal, you got to know something. Maybe they told you, maybe you overheard things you weren't supposed to hear...
-I'm telling you, you're barking up the wrong tree.
-Well, I'm running out of trees, so look me in the eye like a man and tell me you don't know! Convince me!
-It's six o'clock. Time's runaing out. Decide.
-If I tell you, how do I know you won't just club me and take it back?
-Three hundred kilos of White Lady hidden inside a giant bust of Abraham Lincoln. A parade float.
-What... ?
-Kittle...
-What do you want? I'm clean. I been clean a long time.
-Oh, you fuckers! You fucking fuckers! What? What do you want?
-Hey now... what the fuck... ?
-Know what he's doing, Benny? He's trying to jog your memory.
-I don't know what you're talking about, man. Even if I did, I'm not so crazy I'm gonna cross Zimmermann.
-Last time Billy-Boy did this, the guy's neck broke... ... just like that. Sad in a way. Why is it we don't truly appreciate our arms and legs till we've lost the use of them?
-It's bone dry out there. Everybody's hurting. The stuff floating around's been cut so many times it's like powdered sugar, but Zimnermann's gonna fix it.
-I need the "when" and the "where."
-How's your precious little school-marm today?
-She's fine, as if you cared.
-Tell me something... what's a school teacher doing having you meet for breakfast in one of the filthiest parts of downtown skank-ville? I mean, this is not the place for fine dining, unless looking at prostitutes stimulates your appetite.
-Filthy kids go to kindergarten too. What are you saying, anyhow?
-Nothing, I guess. Just an observation. She's really something special. You're a lucky fella.
-Lay off once, would you?
-What'd I say?
-She's right. If you two are doing the horizontal polka, the last thing you want is a thirty-five pound bundle-of-joy stumbling around, knocking over furniture and calling you "daddy."
-Jeez... it's too early in the morning for this. Leave off. Here's your paper.
-You shouldn't litter.
-Thank you, concerned citizen.
-Give a Hoot. Don't Pollute.
-Just a little, you know... Bicentennial memento. Nothing special.
-Escort everyone's favorite She-Male over here nice and peaceful-like. Let's not have another incident like at the laundromat. I'll never forget the look on that poor woman's face.
-That wasn't my fault.
-I... I can't find my seatbelt.
-Sons of bitches!
-We catch 'em, I wanna be first to hurt 'em. Promise me I get to go first.
-I can work this.
-No you can't.
-Make a hole, Billy-Boy.
-I'd rather you guys didn't do this again.
-This is too fast. This is <U>way</U> too fast!
-Relax.
-We should slow down.
-Jiminy Christmas.
-I say, fuck 'em. Let's go.
-Well... we shouldn't rush into this, right? Let's talk about it.
-What are you, Henry friggin' Kissinger all the sudden?
-I'm just saying...
-You're just saying nothing! Tonight is the night.
-Yeah, but if we don't sit, they'll take our badges.
-All I got is being a cop. What do I do if I'm not that?
-We shoulda been there to back you up. We shoulda!
-Ah, jeez, Billy... careful!
-"A.D."
-Where you gonna be?
-No offices are gonna be open today.
-Okay, we got... one, two... three... Two Caddies and Poe's Mustang.
-Remember those two uniform cops who been giving us such a hard time... ?
-Yeah.
-The ones you got in that fist-fight with a couple a weeks ago... ?
-Yeah.
-That's them trying to kill us.
-Look, Kittle... pull over and let me out. I'll be fine... okay? How 'bout that... ? Oh, Lord almighty, listen to me... I don't want to die!! Lemme out of this coffin!!
-Clench your teeth.
-Wh... what... ?!
-That's sick.
-What's the plan?
-When you planning to cut back on that?
-What?
-The booze.
-I don't know what the problem is. Plenty of great men throughout history got their bravery out of a bottle
-Name one.
-Dean Martin.
-Who's been giving you history lessons? Your bartender?
-Okay, seriously. What about Napoleon, huh?
-What about him?
-They... they shot me.
-They shot us all, kid.
-What day is it?
-Where we going?
-How you doing back there?
-Gimmie a butt.
-You don't smoke.
-Happy Independence Day.
-Why do I always have to sit in back?
-It's just the way things are, kiddo.
-Well, I would like to sit in front today.
-You been wearing rubbers, Billy-Boy?
-Wha... ?
-Birth control's important.
-You know, the more weight back there, the faster the car goes.
-Bullshit.
-You never heard of physics, Einstein? The laws of physics. The more ballast we keep closer to the rear tires...
-I'm back here, aren't I? So, you don't have to make up a buncha lies to make me feel good about it.
-What's mine say?
-"Leo. The stages of the moon are in alignment, so now is a perfect time for a vigorous regimen of self improvement. Wash yourself more carefully each morning, stop using pies and cakes as your primary source of nourishment, and quit tucking your shirttails inside your underwear."
-It doesn't say that.
-Hey...
-That's him alright.
-Smooth move, hot-shot.
-Laugh it up. You'll cry later.
-What the... ?! What was that for?
-Follow me.
-Where we going?
-Okay. But, what changed our mind?
-Let's go! Fuck everything! God damn sons of bitching mother humpers... I'm gonna rip'em all brand new assholes... !
-I can't believe we're stealing.
-We're not stealing. We're borrowing.
-No, we're stealing.
-This is the police lock-up. We're police. How can we steal from ourselves?
-Who said it wa's me, hub? Anyway... he fell off a ladder. It wasn't really my fault.
-You live like a pig.
-Can't you say something nice once?
-Bad news is, word's spreading like wildfire that we don't have badges, and nobody wants to end up getting splattered like Butch Cassidy either.
-If we don't catch a break soon, we're gonna be left standing with our dicks in our hands.
-Whoa, whoa... it's gonna be alright.
-Don't talk like that. There's plenty of women around for jerks like you.
-You plan on shooting that gun or just hugging it?
-What about Jack Daniels? Wasn't he a decorated general in the Civil War?
-No.
-General Jim Beam, then.
-Nope.
-Billy, I love you I really do... but I've got to tell you, every day, in every way, you give new meaning to the word "stupidity."
-You could start over again with cash like that.
-Feels like there's a bullet still in my chest.
-There probably is.
-He tried to kill us.
-Hey now, look! Let's all get on the same page here. This shipment is do or die for Zimmermann's syndicate; all or nothing. If we stop the drugs, we don't even have to catch him red-handed. He's ruined cause his pushers go broke with nothing to sell. On the other hand, if we fuck this up, it means more zombies crawling the gutters than
-There'll be other chances.
-I'm gonna put a great big, ear-to-fucking-ear smile on your face. How 'bout that?
-Where have you been?
-Our resignations.
-You going rogue on me?
-Maybe.
-What happened, Kittle? We used to be friends. You used to know how the game was played.
-You mean taking bribes, and skimming busts and letting hoods walk? You mean not being able to sleep at night after shaking down some honest Joe?
-It's noon straight up. Effective immediately, you three work desk jobs till midnight.
-You can't be serious.
-Can't I?
-He went to pick up lunch.
-Well, shake a leg. Get these files downstairs... And, quit listening to your fucking voodoo music.
-And, what... what am I forgetting? Oh, yes... the transvestite junkie whose bullet riddled body came blasting through the front doors of the precinct house!
-Well, sir...
-No. Don't open your mouth! You <U>honestly</U> think you can explain this to my satisfaction?
-I... I think I can... clarify...
-Don't bother. This behavior's gone on too long. You're suspended.
-Don't you condescend to tell me how or why to honor Independence Day, and don't tell me I'm overreacting when I'm trying to bust the guy responsible for half the filthy junk coming into this city!
-You're about an inch away from insubordination!
-Well... seeing how you just suspended me, what's to stop me from calling you a crazy bastard, you old fart?
-What can we do for you, officers? What new, mindless harassments have you planned this morning?
-Just wanted to make you aware... before today's over, we'll be standing on top of your mountain of horse and pissing down on you.
-Couldn't have said it better myself.
-You bust some small-time pimps, whores and dime-bag junkies, like the world's a better place because you're in it. And for what, Kittle... two hundred and fifty dollars a week? Tell me, how does anyone get so self-rightious when they can barely afford to pay their rent?
-Just 'cause you belong to some fancy-pants club, doesn't make you any less a murderer.
-Thanks, but we don't recognize "brunch" as an actual meal.
-Your poison's not gonna make it into the veins of any kids this time.
-You fuckers... damn you! Why?! Why me!? Why the obsession with me?
-It's our job.
-Pardon me... my mistake. Taking your thoughts in hand, huh... ?
-Pure horse.
-Arriving tonight
-Why do you bother with that mumbo-jumbo crap? Some fruitcake's writing it between bong hits, making it up as he goes, and you're actually taking the time to read it.
-Yeah, non-believer? Here's yours... "Scorpio, October 24 to November 22: Jupiter is in conflict with Saturn, so proceed with caution..."
-Look out! Jupiter and Saturn'll get you every fucking time.
-"Today you have a rare opportunity to make a big difference in your chosen field. By your able leadership and with great conviction and strength of character, you will come up a winner."
-Yeah... great.
-You know... you could say thank you.
-You're the one with the star-spangled hard-on, not me.
-I just think you should show some respect. I mean, call me old fashioned, but 200 years ago when Ben Franklin and those guys signed the Constitution and Declaration of Independence, they did that so we could all share in the freedom...
-First of all, the Constitution wasn't writtem till 1787...
-You know what I mean.
-Second of all, the Declaration of Independence was all for liberty and equality, but it didn't do anything about slavery, did it?
-Yeah, well... nobody's perfect. They couldn't go doing everything at once.
-Alright?
-We got him.
-Slow down.
-"Go, go, go!" "Slow down." Make up your mind.
-Hold your horses, sweetpea. We need Butch Cassidy alive, remember?
-If they crash, maybe he'll run. You can shoot him in the leg or something.
-I'm gonna get beside him.
-I'm gonna get beside. Nena, you're gonna shoot out his tires.
-You... SUCK! You almost got us all killed!
-You think this is so easy?
-Can't be worse than you.
-Oh yeah?
-That's right, white bread. Give it up. Right now.
-Get closer! Don't lose him!
-You put your bumper just behind his left tire and then accelerate... make him spin out...
-What... ? Not you too?
-He's right. We hit the bricks, we walk back triple-fucked.
-I can't believe I'm hearing this,
-I worked my ass off for my badge, Kittle, It's the only thing that makes me different from every other slob out there.
-That's not true.
-Yeah, my arms healed up real good, and that's how I wanna keep 'em. That's what I'm trying to tell you.
-You need a doctor.
-Any preferences?
-Let's get this thing done.
-Alright, flesh-peddler, let's see empty hands!
-You get him?
-Dead.
-If it is, that's pretty high up on the totem pole. What do you think?
-Alright... how about you two hit the strip and start knocking some heads together? Find out who "A.D." is. I got a quick errand to run.
-Been waiting long?
-Just got here.
-How'd we do?
-A.D. is a C.P.A.
-Come again... ?
-Archibald Dobbs; Certified Public Accountant. But, that's all we got.
-Get his attention.
-Hey-Ho... ! Maybe we're not alone in this thing after all.
-What the hell's his problem?
-You're... you're not doing what I think you're doing... ?
-You suck at lying, Archie.
-See... now that we know you know, the hard part's done for us.
-We're screwed.
-This much powder you don't throw in the trunk with a blanket over it. It's got to be smuggled.
-No more counting the big money for someone else.
-Think Zimmermann's watching?
-You John-Wilkes-Booth-ed him.
-Why the beach?
-Oh, yeah... the explosion.
-Know what I love about dynamite?
-Do tell.
-When you bunch it together, it's exponentially more powerful. Two sticks have the power of four sticks. Four sticks have the power of sixteen, and so on.
-I don't think so.
-The gang's all here!
-You see that?
-Yeah.
-You always did have style.
-It's one of a kind.
-This shit was Ming.
-Where's your pet gorilla and the female Uncle Tom?
-They're... around.
-Yeah? So, what do you want to ask today that I can't answer? I'm a busy man.
-The way Zimmermann takes such good care of you and this drug-peddling "escort service" of yours, I figure you got the scoop on the pharmaceuticals arriving tonight.
-Admiral, we're in position. All fighters accounted for.
-All craft, prepare to jump to hyperspace on my mark.
-We saw it. All craft prepare to retreat.
-You won't get another chance at this, Admiral.
-We have no choice, General Calrissian. Our cruisers can't repel firepower of that magnitude.
-At that close range, we won't last long against those Star Destroyers.
-The shield is down! Commence attack on theDeath Star's main reactor.
-I can't do it, Artoo. I can't go on alone.
-You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father.
-There's still good in him.
-I also thought he could be turned back to the good side. It couldn't be done. He is more machine now than man. Twisted and evil.
-I can't do it, Ben.
-You cannot escape your destiny.
-I tried to stop him once. I couldn't do it.
-Vader humbled you when first you met him, Luke... but that experience was part of your training. It taught you, among other things, the value of patience. Had you not been so impatient to defeat Vader then, you could have finished your training here with Yoda. You would have been prepared.
-To be a Jedi, Luke, you must confront and then go beyond the dark side - the side your father couldn't get past. Impatience is the easiest door - for you, like your father. Only, your father was seduced by what he found on the other side of the door, and you have held firm. You're no longer so reckless now, Luke. You are
-I can't kill my own father.
-Then the Emperor has already won. You were our only hope.
-Yoda spoke of another.
-The other he spoke of is your twin sister.
-But I have no sister.
-Hmm. To protect you both from the Emperor, you were hidden from your father when you were born. The Emperor knew, as I did, if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat to him. That is the reason why your sister remains safely anonymous.
-Leia! Leia's my sister.
-But you can't let her get involved now, Ben. Vader will destroy her.
-Shhh. You have hibernation sickness.
-I can't see.
-Your eyesight will return in time.
-Where am I?
-Jabba's palace.
-The Death Star will be completed on schedule.
-You have done well, Lord Vader. And now I sense you wish to continue your search for young Skywalker.
-Yes, my Master.
-Patience, my friend. In time he will seek you out. And when he does, you must bring him before me. He has grown strong. Only together can we turn him to the dark side of the Force.
-As you wish.
-What is thy bidding, my Master?
-Send the fleet to the far side of Endor. There it will stay until called for.
-What of the reports of the Rebel fleet massing near Sullust?
-It is of no concern. Soon the Rebellion will be crushed and young Skywalker will be one of us! Your work here is finished, my friend. Go out to the command ship and await my orders.
-I told you to remain on the command ship.
-I have felt him, my Master.
-They are clear, my Master.
-Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken...about a great many things.
-Han!
-Luke!
-Are you all right?
-Fine. Together again, huh?
-Wouldn't miss it.
-How are we doing?
-The same as always.
-I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.
-There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.
-You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient.
-Just stick close to Chewie and Lando. I've taken care of everything.
-Why don't you leave that crate and come with us?
-Luke.
-You got her warmed?
-Right. Chewie, let's see what this piece of junk can do. Ready, everybody?
-Vader's on that ship.
-I don't know. Fly casual.
-I'm endangering the mission. I shouldn't have come.
-Chewie and I will take care of this. You stay here.
-I thought she was with you.
-Take the squad ahead. We'll meet at the shield generator at 0300.
-Nice work. Great, Chewie! Great! Always thinking with your stomach.
-Will you take it easy? Let's just figure out a way to get out of this thing. Han, can you reach my lightsaber?
-Hey!
-Somehow, I got the feeling that didn't help us very much.
-Someone who loves you.
-Leia!
-I don't know. All I can see is a lot of blowing sand!
-Hey, are you awake?
-Now we find out if that code is worth the price we paid.
-Shall we try and go around?
-What's going on?
-I...
-I'm sorry.
-The main entrance to the control bunker's on the far side of that landing platform. This isn't gonna be easy.
-Han! Hurry! The fleet will be here any moment.
-The code's changed. We need Artoo!
-I'm sure Luke wasn't on that thing when it blew.
-He wasn't. I can feel it.
-Yes.
-Han! Chewie?
-Lando, grab it!
-Lower it!
-Chewie! Chewie, give me the gun. Don't move, Lando.
-No, wait! I thought you were blind!
-It's all right. Trust me. Don't move.
-Guess I owe you some thanks, too, Lando.
-Well, look at you, a general, huh?
-Look. I want you to take her. I mean it. Take her. You need all the help you can get. She's the fastest ship in the fleet.
-Good luck.
-Oh, dear. His High Exaltedness, the great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately.
-Good, I hate long waits.
-In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.
-Here we go again.
-What are you telling them?
-Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?
-I beg your pardon, General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper.
-Proper?!
-What did he say?
-We're coming!
-Come on! Come on!
-My goodness! Artoo, why did you have to be so brave?
-Oh, Princess Leia, are you all right?
-Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We're honored by your presence.
-I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can.
-Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
-I tell you, this station will be operational as planned.
-The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
-But he asks the impossible. I need more men.
-That is correct, Commander. And he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.
-We shall double our efforts.
-All wings report in.
-Good shot, Red Two.
-I'm going in.
-Now lock onto the strongest power source. It should be the power generator.
-There it is!
-All right, Wedge. Go for the power regulator on the north tower.
-Ugh!
-Oh!
-What's he saying?
-Oh! Oh, my. Uh, Princess Leia!
-Quiet.
-I'm afraid our furry companion has gone and done something rather rash.
-Over there! Two more of them!
-Leia... do you remember your mother? Your real mother?
-Just a little bit. She died when I was very young.
-What do you remember?
-Just...images, really. Feelings.
-Tell me.
-I have no memory of my mother. I never knew her.
-Luke, tell me. What's troubling you?
-He's my father.
-Your father?
-Luke, don't talk that way. You have a power I--I don't understand and could never have.
-Yes. It's you Leia.
-I know. Somehow...I've always known.
-Then you know why I have to face him.
-No! Luke, run away, far away. If he can feel your presence, then leave this place. I wish I could go with you.
-No, you don't. You've always been strong.
-But, why must you confront him?
-The Emperor has been expecting you.
-I know, father.
-Come with me.
-You don't know the power of the dark side. I must obey my master.
-I will not turn...and you'll be forced to kill me.
-If that is your destiny.
-Search your feelings, father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.
-Obi-Wan has taught you well.
-Your thoughts betray you, father. I feel the good in you...the conflict.
-There is no conflict.
-You couldn't bring yourself to kill me before, and I don't believe you'll destroy me now.
-You cannot hide forever, Luke.
-I will not fight you.
-Sister! So...you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will.
-Master Yoda, you can't die.
-Strong am I with the Force... but not that strong! Twilight is upon me and soon night must fall. That is the way of things... the way of the Force.
-But I need your help. I've come back to complete the training.
-Yoda, I must know.
-Told you, did he?
-Unexpected this is, and unfortunate...
-Well, I'm sorry.
-Ah, good. New acquisitions. You are a protocol droid, are you not?
-I am See-Threepio, human-cy...
-Yes or no will do.
-Oh. Well, yes.
-How many languages do you speak?
-I am fluent in over six million forms of communication, and can readily...
-Splendid! We have been without an interpreter since our master got angry with our last protocol droid and disintegrated him.
-Do you have any tattoos Brad.
-Certainly not!
-You!
-Why you - what have you done with Janet?
-You tricked me. I wouldn't have - I've never - never.
-I know, but it wasn't all bad was it? I think you found it quite pleasurable. Oh so soft. So sensual.
-Ahhh - no - stop - I mean Janet. Janet.
-Shush. Janet's probably asleep by now. Do you want her to see you like this?
-Like this. Like how? It's your fault - you're to blame. I thought it was the real thing.
-You promise you won't tell?
-I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. You came here with a purpose.
-I was telling the truth.
-I know what you told me, Brad. But this Dr Everett Scott. His name is not unknown to me.
-He was a Science Teacher at Denton High.
-And now he works for your Government, doesn't he, Brad? He's attached to the Bureau of Investigation of that which you call U.F.O's. Isn't he, Brad?
-He might be. I don't know.
-Janet!
-It's as if we were glued to the spot.
-The future is ours so let's plan it.
-Janet.
-So please don't tell me to can it.
-Janet.
-Janet.
-Made me give you the eye And then panic,
-Yes.
-Everyone knows Betty's a wonderful little cook.
-Yes.
-And Ralph himself will be in line for promotion in a year or so.
-Yes Brad.
-I've got something to say.
-Uh huh.
-I really loved the skilful way You beat the other girls To the bride's bouquet.
-Oh Janet
-Oh Brad, I'm mad.
-Gosh. That's the third motorcyclist that's passed us. They certainly take their lives in their hands. What with the weather and all.
-I think we took the wrong fork a few miles back.
-Oh dear! But then where did the motorcyclists come from?
-What was that bang?
-We must have a blow-out.
-You'd better sit here and keep warm while I go for help.
-But where will you go? We're in the middle of nowhere.
-I'm coming with you.
-There's no point both of us getting wet.
-Oh, Brad. Let's go back. I'm cold and I'm frightened.
-Yes, the rain has been very heavy.
-Oh Brad, I'm frightened. What kind of place is this?
-Oh....Say something.
-Brad, please lets get out of here.
-For God's sake keep a grip on yourself Janet.
-But it seems so unhealthy here.
-It's just a..a party Janet.
-Well I want to leave.
-We can't go anywhere until I get to a phone.
-Then ask the butler - or someone.
-Let's wait awhile Janet. We don't want to interfere with their celebrations.
-This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce Brad.
-They're probably foreigners with ways different from our own. - They may do some more folk dancing.
-Brad - I'm cold, I'm wet, and plain scared.
-Right!
-Oh Brad.
-I'm Brad Majors and this is my fiancee, Janet Vice.
-Weiss.
-Brad...
-Oh Brad - Mmmm - Oh yes, my darling - what if...
-It's alright Janet. Everything's going to be alright.
-Oh, I hope so my darling. But let me switch on the light.
-No, don't do that.
-Maybe we could try it this way.
-Janet! Oh! Yes it's alright. Janet. Everything's going to be alright.
-I'm engaged to Brad just the same as Betty Monroe was to Ralph Hapschatt. But Frank's kisses overwhelmed me with an ecstacy I've never dreamt of before. Hot, burning kisses.
-I could see Brad's face before me and my mind screamed No! But my lips were hungry - too hungry.
-So baby don't cry like there's no tomorrow After the night there's a brand new day. And there'll be no pain And no more sorrow. So wash your face And phone my place It'll be O.K.
-I wanted to be loved completely. My body throbbed excitedly. Oh Brad, Brad my darling, how could I have done this to you?
-And that's all the time that it takes For a heart to beat again. So give me a sign That a lover makes You look around The one you've found Is back again.
-Hello.
-Uh - oh - Hi! My name is Brad Majors. And this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss. I - ah - wondered if you could help us. Our car has broken down about two miles up the road. Do you have a phone we might use?
-Great scott - Scotty - Dr Everett Scott.
-You know this earth - this person.
-Good God.
-Great Heavens, that's a laser.
-You did right.
-A decision had to be made.
-You're OK by me.
-Dr Scott I'm sorry about your nephew.
-Yes, well perhaps it was for the best.
-Well. I don't like men with...er, with too many, muscles.
-You beast, you monster, what have you done with Brad?
-Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
-You tricked me - I wouldn't have - I've never - never
-Ssssh. Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you like this?
-Like this - like how? It's your fault. You're to blame. I was saving myself.
-Promise you won't tell Brad.
-What a guy
-What guy
-"Sweet Transvestite"
-From Transexual Transylvania.
-"Transylvania"
-On the day I went away.
-Goodbye
-Was all I had to say
-Now I
-Want to come again and stay
-Oh my, my,
-Feeling
-Like I'm outside in the rain
-Wheeling
-Free to try and find a game
-Dealing
-And left from my dreaming Was a feeling Of un-nameable dread.
-That ain't no crime
-Oh, no no, no no.
-Sha la la la That ain't no crime.
-No no no, no no.
-Sha la la la That ain't no crime.
-Oh no no no no.
-Sha la la la That ain't no crime.
-No no no no.
-Sha la la la That ain't no crime. That ain't no crime.
-Sha la la la That ain't no crime.
-No no no no.
-Sha la la la That ain't no crime.
-No no no no.
-I think you had better both come inside.
-Are you - giving a party?
-No. You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the master's affairs.
-The Master is not yet married. Nor do I think he ever will be. We are simply his servants.
-Who's Eddie?
-Creature of the night.
-I thought you liked them. They liked you.
-Our noble mission is almost completed my most beautiful sister, soon we will return to the moon-drenched shores of our "androgenous" planet.
-Ah - sweet Transexual - land of night - to sing and dance once more to your dark refrains. To take that step to the right...
-But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane.
-...How's the turtle food this week?
-...Fine.
-Me, I'm kinda aggravated.
-...I'm sorry.
-I smack 'em hard on the shell an' they get... What?
-...I don't know.
-Hey, how's my buddy doin'? -- Nice dog -- Well, I'll see ya later.
-It's Thanksgiving.
-Looks quiet, y'know.
-I think it's closed.
-...Aren't you skating?
-Ain't skated since I was fifteen -- That's when I started fightin' -- gotta watch the ankles. Yeah, fightin' use to be tops with me, but no more. All I wanted to prove was I weren't no bum -- That I had the stuff to make a good pro.
-But you never had a chance to prove yourself.
-I just dislocated my finger.
-Y'know how I got started in the fight racket?
-What's funny?
-Some people are very shy by nature.
-...I suppose.
-I would say you're very shy by nature.
-...I suppose.
-Some people think bein' shy is a disease, but it don't bother me.
-It doesn't bother me either.
-Then why did I bother bringin' it up? 'Cause I'm dumb, that's why... Y'know, I think we make a real sharp coupla coconuts -- I'm dumb an' you're shy.
-...It is just hard for me to understand why anybody wants to be a fighter.
-Ya gotta be a little soft to wanna be a pug... It's a racket where ya' almost guaranteed to end up a bum.
-I don't think you're a bum.
-...I'm at least half a bum. Yeah, fightin' is a crazy racket. The roughest part is the mornin' after.
-Morning after?
-After a rough fight, ya' nothin' but a large wound. Sometimes I feel like callin' a taxi to drive me from my bed to the bathroom... Ya' eyes hurt, ya' ears hurt, ya' hair even hurts... But the thing I'm proud of is I been in over sixty fights an' never had a busted nose -- Bent an' twisted an' bitten but never broke...
-Why do you do it if it hurts so bad?
-...Guess.
-Would ya like a glass of water?
-Here's the guys I was tellin' ya about -- This is Cuff an' Link.
-I sold them to you.
-...Oh, yeah, I bought the whole kit -- Yeah, ya sold me the turtles, the bowl, an' the mountain -- I had to get rid of the mountain 'cause they kept fallin' off.
-Do you have a phone?
-I had it pulled. People callin' all the time. Who needs it -- Who'd you wanna call?
-I wanna let my brother know where I am.
-D'you really wanna call?
-Yes, I do.
-You sure?
-Yes.
-Why?
-I think he might be worried.
-What's the matter? Ya don't like the room?
-It's fine.
-It's only temporary.
-It's not that --
-What's the problem? You don't like me -- Don't like the turtles -- What is it?
-I don't think I belong here.
-It's okay.
-No, I don't belong here.
-It's all right -- You're my guest.
-...I've never been in a man's apartment before.
-They're all the same.
-I'm not sure I know you well enough -- I don't think I'm comfortable.
-Yo, I'm not comfortable either.
-I should leave.
-Would ya take off your glasses?
-What?
-...T-thank you.
-Do me another favor?
-...What?
-I always knew you was pretty.
-How'd ya like hearin' ya name on TV?
-I don't know -- I was shocked. Why did you do that?
-Ya puttin' me on, right?
-Absolutely -- What time should I expect you?
-'Bout seven.
-Y'know how I said that stuff on television didn't bother me?
-Yes.
-Don't you open them anymore?
-Like?
-Sharp -- Real nice.
-Really -- You don't think they're overly feminine?
-Adrian, you really look great, y'know -- But I can't fool around durin' trainin' -- makes the legs weak.
-Don't want weak legs.
-Can't fool around -- You look very great.
--- The legs.
-I thought it might be cute.
-...And he called the reporters --
-Yeah... Threw my whole day off.
-Don't be mad at him -- He just wants to help.
-Yo -- I ain't mad. I'm just outta joint when reporters are around -- They take cheap shots an' Paulie knows it.
-...Are you going to say anything to him?
-Wanna hear a dirty joke?
-Rocky, do you realize everybody in this country knows your face, and after the fight everybody in the world is going to.
-What was that you said about a pet shop?
-...What?
-What did you say about a pet shop?
-I don't want ya cleanin' nobody else's cages no more.
-Is everything all right?
-...Can't do it.
-...What?
-...I can't beat him.
-Apollo?
-I been watchin' the movies -- studyin' -- He ain't weak nowhere.
-What're we going to do?
-...I dunno.
-Oh, Rocky -- you worked so hard.
-It ain't so bad, 'cause I was a nothin' before --
-Don't say that.
-...Paulie, why didn't you tell me you were bringing him home?! Look at me, I'm not ready for this.
-Like it would make a difference if you were, right? This guy's a friend and now he's takin' ya out.
-No... I can't!
-Ya, ya goin' outta the bedroom an' I don't wanna know from nothin'.
-Paulie, please --
-Hey, I want ya out instamaticly. -- I'm sicka lookin' at ya hangin' around like a friggin' spider -- Go out -- Live! Do, enjoy life.
-...Like you?
-Don't get wise with me. I want ya to stop bein' a loser.
-I can't go out.
-Why?
-Do me a favor -- His lungs, punch 'em out.
-Oh, Rocky!
-Christ.
-Einstein flunked out of school... twice.
-That so.
-Nothin'! I want nothin' from you!!!
-Paulie!
-Shutup! I want nothin' -- I ain't no charity case! Get outta my house!
-It's not your house --
-You ain't no friend no more -- Go home! Outta my house I want ya!
-Don't talk like that to him!
-...Paulie. Stop now!
-I want 'im outta here -- Don't think I'm good enough to work for Gazzo? That's what I think of bums like you an' Gazzo! You're goin' up an' don't care enough to throw Paulie some crumbs! I give ya meat, an' I give ya my sister, too!
-You forget what I went through to give ya the best.
-You gave me what?! Knots! You gave me knots in here every day -- you made me scared of everything!
-Don't do that again!
-Get away from me -- I could never even get married 'cause you couldn't live by yaself -- ya'd die by yaself! So instead I put you two together -- Did ya think of puttin' in a good word for me? -- You owe me!
-Owe you what?
-You owe me an' are supposed to treat me good!
-You busted?!
-What?!
-I do -- Maybe what this fight needs is something new -- a novelty.
-You's the novelty, Champ!
-Too old, dull fighter. Bobby Judge is a good boy.
-He won't last one round.
-Listen, I gonna carry this boy three rounds, then drop 'im like a bad habit.
-I don't like you messin' with southpaws -- They do everything wrong.
-...That boy damn near broke my arm.
-Sure -- He can hit -- Don't play no more -- Stick an' move, hear?
-I'll carry him 'till the third.
-Man, I rearranged his face with that right -- The people love what's happenin' tonight.
-...That man's takin' his job too serious.
-He's movin' to your left -- don't let him no more -- dance and stick, hear? Don't play -- I know what ya feelin', but don't play.
-He got lucky.
-My side.
-Get that doctor.
-No doctor!
-You're hurtin', man!
-Yo' bleedin' inside, man -- Get that doctor.
-One more round.
-Don't kill yourself, man -- Let the doctor stop the fight.
-...Stop jivin'!
-Cover the ribs -- Look here, elbow down, tight -- Tight -- stand straight -- you're the best, you're the best!
-Damn.
-You best find me another ranked contender an' I mean in a flash, man!
-I contacted Ernie Roman's manager, he's fighting in France the same week.
-Then gimme Buddy Shaw -- He's ranked fifth.
-Shape, nothin' -- They're afraid. They know everybody in the world's gonna see this fight an' none of them gotta prayer of beating me so they're makin' excuses so they don't have to be the chump that's gonna be whipped in front of the whole civilized world!!
-Now here's what's goin' down. Listen, 'cause I'm gonna say this but one time. On January first, the first day of the Bicentennial I'm gonna fight me a local poor underdog, dig? A snow-white underdog. An' I'm gonna put his face on this poster with me, hear? An' I'll tell you why, 'cause I'm sentimental -- An' all the people in the country all
-...It's very American.
-How 'bout this Billy Snow?
-Fouls.
-Joe Zack is a good prospect -- Exciting boy.
-...Still don't feel no heat.
-Exactly what are you looking for, Apollo?
-'The Italian Stallion' -- He's my man.
-Rocky Balboa -- His record's poor --
-How was the flight, Champ?
-Apollo, how would you rate this last British challenger, Henry Wilcoxson?
-He was big, an' very nasty so I destroyed him in a hurry -- Now I'm gettin' ready for Mac Lee Green next month.
-You're referring to the much publicized bicentennial fight?
-That's right -- It's gonna be the greatest sportin' event in this country's history -- A gala occurrence!
-Still to be held in Philadelphia?
-The Bicentennial Heavyweight Championship of the World is gonna be held in the only place it can be held -- Philadelphia! -- the nation's cradle -- January First -- the first major event of our two hundredth year.
-Me an' my wife are goin' home 'cause we miss our children an' can't go no more time without seein' them.
-Any quick advice for young boxing hopefuls?
-Did ya get the license number?
-Of wa?
-Hear she's retarded.
-She ain't retarded, she's shy.
-Take 'er to the zoo -- Retards like the zoo.
-I don't like ya face.
-Don't like yours neither.
-Kiss my ass.
-Yo, Rocks, buy us sum wine, man.
-...No wine -- Bad for ya' brain.
-C'mon, man, it's cold, man.
-No wine.
-Yo, Rock, gimme a dollar.
-Why?
-'Cause we dig ya, man -- Gimme a dollar.
-No dollar.
-...That's an old one.
-We'll kill you, man -- We gotta gun.
-Hey, whatta ya doin' here -- we're closed... Yo, we're closed!
-Are ya closed to the General Public or to just everybody.
-Hey, the rink is empty 'cause we're closed -- ya ain't allowed in here so do me a favor an' not stay here.
-Yo, pal, what's with you -- The place ain't operatin'.
-Listen, I gotta problem. This girl ain't feelin' well, y'know -- The doctor says she should exercise, y'know once in awhile an' ice skatin' is the best thing --
-This a con?
-Look at her, ya can see she ain't feelin' good -- needs a few minutes exercise --
-Few minutes?
-...Ten minutes.
-Ten minutes for ten dollars.
-Nine minutes!
-Seven minutes!
-It ain't your fault -- I originally done it in the Baby Crenshaw fight. That's me fightin' Big Baby Crenshaw -- Big Baby was the size of an airplane an' I broke my hands on his head -- I lost, but it's a nice picture, don't ya think?
-Six!
-How 'bout some Cokes?
-Cost ya a buck.
-Here -- Three minutes.
-That's ten bucks.
-...How 'bout for the Cokes?
-We would like to welcome our viewing audience to the Grand World Championship Bicentennial Heavyweight Fight -- the first major event of the Bicentennial Year... A point of interest is that the fight is being beamed to more than seven hundred and fifty million fans in theatres in nearly every corner of the world. I would like to welcome an old friend, and co-commentator
-Thank you, Bob. The electricity is everywhere tonight. Rocky Balboa, a fifty-to-one underdog, is living a Cinderella story which has captured peoples' imaginations all over the world -- to quote a popular sports magazine, 'The fighting style should be 'The Caveman Against the Cavalier.' From the increase in sound it appears the challenger is now approaching the ring... His record is forty-four wins, twenty
-You could go deaf with the noise -- it undoubtedly means Champion Apollo Creed is heading towards the ring --
-Am I seeing right? Creed is approaching the ring in a boat. Is he supposed to be George Washington? Obviously so.
-It's been confirmed that it is definitely an impersonation of George Washington -- a great way to start 1976 off.
-The Champ stings the slower challenger with jabs at will -- Balboa blocks eighty percent of the blows with his face -- Creed doesn't look the best he's ever been but is moving smoothly -- Creed snaps out a triple combination that backs Balboa into a corner -- oh, a solid hook by Creed, a master of fist-men.
-The Champion is smiling and toying with the man -- trying to give the fans their money's worth and make a show of it with the badly out-classes challenger -- Another left to right combination. I feel sorry for --
-If you had asked anyone who knows boxing, they never would've predicted a first round knockdown and the second round punishment to the body of the Champion... Most fighters will tell you, receiving a good body punch is the next worst thing to dying.
-Apollo almost sprints out of his corner -- feints and throws a pair of left-right combinations. Balboa drops beneath a left upper cut and lands a very solid shot on Creed's temple -- not much movement from Balboa, duck a left, a right, another left and explodes with a right hook to the temple -- I mean explodes. The Champ backs off.
-There's no way Apollo expected this kind of hitting power.
-Without a doubt this is the most punishing brawl I have ever seen -- The ringside audience is spotted with blood. This fight should have been stopped rounds ago but Rocky Balboa refuses to fall --
-I say ya nothin'!
-What's happenin' here?
-You can forget about sparring, kid.
-Yo' know I iz the best man here! Yo' said so yoself!
-Why let Rocky here take a chance on cuttin' or breakin' a hand? -- Take a shower, Dipper.
-Yo' yellow, old man.
-Don't hit the face! Not the face!!
-Mr. Gazzo wants the two hundred now!
-Honest to God I'm broke -- Gimme a break.
-Mr. Gazzo says I should get two hundred or break the thumb.
-What's ya name again?
-Bob.
-A hundred an' thirty.
-That's it, I'm broke.
-That's it? -- Completely?
-That's it.
-What about for food an' stuff?
-...The juice is climbin' every week.
-I know the juice is climbin' -- I been workin' six months just to pay the damn interest.
-Ya still light seventy.
-He only had a hundred an' thirty. -- I think he's good for the rest next week, Mr. Gazzo.
-Tomorrow collect from Del Rio -- He's late three weeks. How'd you do last night?
-Yo Rock. Did I give you a job this mornin? How come ya didn't break this guy's thumb like I asked ya? When ya don't do what ya are told, it makes me look bad, kid.
-I figure if I break the thumb this guy gets thrown outta his job and can't pay nothin' no more.
-Next Wednesday I grab a grand from Snyder. An' Thursday two yards from Cappoli, okay?
-No, two yards from Snyder, an' a grand from Cappoli.
-Ya sure?
-Hey, screw ya brain on right. Now, who's this girl you're going out with tonight?
-How'd you know?
-You think I don't hear things?
-Buddy's in a bad mood -- prostate problems.
-Buddy's got a thing against ya, Rock. Some people just hate for no reason, y'know.
-Yeah.
-Here's fifty bucks -- You an' the girl have a nice time.
-Y'know I won't be able to work for ya no more.
-Hey -- if a good man can make a better life, let him make it.
-I feel bad about walkin'.
-Take your shot, kid -- You got money for trainin' expenses?
-Here's five hundred -- Put it in your glove.
-Does Santa Claus charge juice? Merry Christmas -- Now, how's about my present, ya gonna win?
-Gonna try.
-Listen, kid, I'm with ya. Ya know, I'm with ya -- Italian, we're blood. You kill this rug -- We Guinneas gotta show these Afro-Americans where it's at. Give it your best shot cause I want ya to prove to these bums on the corner that my man can't be beat by this rug... Ya got any action on the side.
-No action.
-Ya gettin 150 grand killer. Ya got any plans for it? Whatta ya think? Ya like to put it on the street, make it work for ya?
-I'm gonna do somethin with it.
-Sure, you do what ya want. Stay away from the stock market.
-Black market?
-Yo, you gonna show, Tony?
-Hello, Mr. Balboa -- I'm Miles Jergens -- Please, have a seat.
-...Thanks.
-Mr. Balboa --
-Rocky.
-Rocky, do you have any representation? A manager?
-No -- Just me.
-Rocky, would you be interested in --
-Sparrin'?
-Excuse me.
-I know ya need sparrin' partners -- I'm very available.
-I'm sure you are.
-Absolutely -- Sparrin' with the Champ would be an honor -- y'know what?
-What?
-Rocky, would you be interested in fighting Apollo Creed for the Championship?
-...Like I said, I'd make a boss sparrin' mate.
-Did you hear what I said?
-Sure, an' I'm smart enough to know that no sparrin' partner should take cheap shots at the Champ. He's just there to help condition the man.
-...Screw you.
-What'd you say?
-Did these guys teach you to talk dirty? Huh?
-Hey --
-What?
-Stuff it, man!
-How come ya wanna hang out with those guys? They teach ya bad things.
-I like 'em. If you don't you can f --
-Hey! When I was your age, there was only one girl who talked like that in the whole neighborhood.
-Make your teeth yella --
-I like yella teeth.
-Makes your breath like garbage.
-Nobody likes garbage -- Anyway, this girl with the dirty mouth wasn't bad lookin', but the guys wouldn't take her out for any serious datin'.
-Why?
-'Cause that's the way guys are -- They laugh when ya talk dirty. They think ya cute for a while, but then ya getta reputation an' watch out. Nobody's ever gonna take ya serious. Ya get no respect... I gotta use a bad word -- Whore. You'll end up maybe becomin' a whore.
-C'mon, Rocky. I'm twelve.
-That doesn't matter -- You don't really have to be a whore, just act like one an' that's it.
-What?
-Listen, I hope ya don't --
-I won't.
-What was I gonna say?
-Ya hope I don't keep acting like a whore or I'll turn into one, right?
-Goodnight, Rocky.
-I don't care what nobody says, this bum Creed woulda never made it in the Thirties --
-Hey, how ya feelin', Mickey?
-...What?
-I said, how ya feelin'?
-Do you see me talkin'? Huh?
-Yeah.
-Then stand there an' wait till I'm done -- Creed's good, yeah, he's real fine but I gotta boy, y'know Big Dipper, who's got the stuff it takes to be a champ -- He's mean, quick, an' big -- What more d'ya need? Okay, go to work... Hey -- Yeah -- Whatta ya want?
-I was talkin' with ya man, Mike. -- Hey, how come I been put outta my locker?
-Dipper's a climber -- You're a tomato.
-...Tomato?
-How old are ya?
-...What?
-How old?
-Come July, twenty-five.
-More like thirty.
-Twenty-five, thirty -- What's the difference? -- It took me two months to learn the combination of that locker.
-The legs must be goin'.
-Yeah, they're goin', -- that's nature... That was my locker for six years.
-...Did ya fight last night?
-Yeah --
-Did ya win?
-Yeah, Kayo.
-...Who'd ya fight?
-Spider Rice.
-Rice is a bum.
-You think everybody I fight is a bum.
-Ya want the truth -- Ya got heart, but ya fight like an ape -- The only thing special about you is ya never got ya nose broke -- keep ya nose pretty -- what's left of ya brain an' retire.
-Listen, I'm gonna take a steam -- Did good last night -- Shoulda seen it.
-Hey, ever think about retirin'?
-...No.
-Think about it.
-Did ya get the message, kid?
-A Rep from Miles Jergens' Promotions was lookin' for ya -- They need sparrin' partners for Creed.
-Ya puttin' me on?
-Here's the card?
-When was they here?
-'Bout an hour ago.
-Probably lookin' for sparrin' partners.
-I seen the light. I figure somebody was home.
-Best seat in the house -- Hey, Mick, this is too much.
-How do you mean?
-Listen, Rock, you're a very lucky guy.
-Yeah.
-What's happened is freak luck.
-Freak luck for sure.
-Look at all them other fighters. Real good boys. Good records. Colorful. Fight their hearts out for peanuts -- But who cared? Nobody. They got it shoved in their back door. Nobody ever give them a shot at the title...
-Whatta' those?
-Turtles -- domestic turtles.
-Fifty years, huh.
-Fifty years. The rep is known around Philly, an' a good rep can't be bought, but I don't have to tell you that.
-How 'bout a glass of water?
-Rocky, d'ya know what I done?
-...What?
-I done it all. I've done an' seen everything'. Believe what I'm tellin' ya -- Ya shoulda seen the night in Brooklyn, I smacked 'Ginny' Russo outta the ring, September 14, 1923 -- same night Firpo knocked Dempsey outta the ring. But who got the Press? He did. He had a manager -- September 14, 1923.
-Nobody ever said that -- There's his picture.
-Really think so?
-Ya got heart.
-Respect, I always dished ya respect.
-...Ya gave Dipper my locker.
-I'm sorry, I -- I made a mistake. Kid, I'm askin' man to man. I wanna be ya manager.
-The fight's set -- I don't need a manager.
-Look, you can't buy what I know. Ya can't. I've seen it all! I got pain an' I got experience.
-I got pain an' experience too.
-Please, kid.
-If ya was wantin' my help, why didn't ya ask? Just ask.
-I asked, but ya never helped nothin'! -- Like the Bible sez, ya don't get no second chance.
-Tie it to both ankles -- Leave two feet slack.
-What cha say, Benny -- Meet 'The Rock.' This is our cutman, Benny Stein.
-Yo, Benny.
-Don't you care what the people will say?
-...I'm doin' it for a friend.
-Whatta you get outta this?
-I get the robe an' Paulie gets three grand.
-Don't let 'im get you tight.
-God bless ya, Rock.
-How am I doin'?
-Real good.
-See how fast he is -- damn!
-Ya nose is broke.
-Damn! How's it look?
-Can't hardly tell. Don't swallow the blood -- Go for his ribs. Don't let 'im breathe.
-...The guy's great.
-How you holdin' up, kid?
-Fine... That guy's great.
-Gimme the water! Ya gettin' tagged with his right. I think you should feint left and high hook 'im -- Benny, check the eyes! Can ya see?
-Wanna keep goin'?
-Would you keep goin'?
-How I look out there, Mick?
-I don't care what they say, you're a winner.
-Yo, Mike -- What's happenin' here?
-It ain't your locker no more.
-Whatta ya talkin' about it ain't my locker no more?
-You were ready to bite that guy's face.
-Yeah -- See the fight last night? Apollo Creed beat that English guy bad.
-Hey, Rock -- What happened?
-Ya sappin' his strength -- He's losin' steam.
-No more, ya wanna lose an eye? No more.
-Startin' with the bad jokes early today, huh.
-How's Butkus this mornin'?
-...What kinda dog is this again?
-Bullmastiff.
-The owner was suppose to pick him up three weeks ago.
-Yo, Paulie.
-Yo, Rocky -- Look at this mirror. I'd like to kill the friggin' moron who broke this mirror.
-Yo, Paulie.
-What?
-Your sister's givin' me the shoulder.
-Forget her. You could do better than my sister.
-Every mornin', every night I pass by -- I smile. I say jokes. Nothin'. She looks at me.
-Looks, huh?
-Yeah, like I was a plate of leftovers -- Somethin' wrong with my face -- Whatta I need, a Caddy to connect with ya sister?
-My sister's a friggin' loser.
-Hey --
-Sometimes she gets me so crazy, I'd like to split her head with a razor.
-Don't get mental, man.
-Ya caught me in a bad mood.
-Ya always in a bad mood --
-She's a loser -- She don't enjoy life -- She reads -- Brainy -- Pushin' thirty friggin' years old! She's gonna die alone if she don't wise up.
-I'm thirty myself.
-An' you're dyin' alone, too.
-I don't see no crowd around you, neither.
-I wanna kill the friggin' moron who broke the mirror.
-The girl's dryin' up! She's gotta live a little before her body dries up!! You're a pal, Rock -- How 'bout yo' talk to her? Y'know, it's Thanksgivin' tomorrow.
-...Sure.
-Tomorrow you come for some bird, right?
-I usta be deadly at half-ball.
-I hate the friggin' game... I'd like to talk some business.
-What kinda business?
-Inflamed joints -- Walkin' in an' out of a freezer carryin' meat plays hell on the joints.
-Maybe ya should see a doctor.
-I don't need a doctor, I need a different job.
-Maybe another job is the best thing.
-Do me a favor -- Talk to Gazzo. Tell him I'm a friend an' would do a good job... Tell him I ain't bothered by nothin' an' would be a great collector... Bustin' bones don't bother me -- Tell him I'm a good worker.
-Gazzo's gotta come to you.
-I'm askin' ya to go to him -- As a favor.
-Ya sister knows I'm comin'?
-!! Ya want the bird, go out in the alley an' eat the bird -- I want ya outta the house -- Enjoy ya friggin' life... Ya hungry, Rock?
-Maybe ya better forget it.
-...Maybe I better forget it.
-What's ya sister like to do?
-Ice skate.
-Why?
-Don't it matter none he's makin' ya out a fool? -- I'd break his lips.
-It don't matter.
-He's takin' cheap shots.
-It don't bother me none.
-Yo, Rock -- now ya'll be lookin' for people to help, right?
-Help what?
-Y'know, to help keep ya livin' clean.
-I'll do okay.
-Ya gotta have a guy help ya exercise, mebbe somebody to be standin' by with a towel or run errands, y'know.
-Hey, who cared about me yesterday, huh? Nobody -- I think I'm gonna train myself.
-How ya feelin'?
-...Tight.
-I got whiskey here.
-If ya don't pay Gazzo, ya end up hangin' on the hook, right?
-Gazzo's a good man.
-How 'bout you talk to 'em about me? Please do me that favor.
-Y'know, d'ya think you an' my sister -- Ah, doin' good together?
-Whatta you think?
-Ain't sure, what's the story?
-What?
-Ya really like her?
-Sure I like her.
-What's the attraction? I don't see it?
-I dunno -- she fills gaps.
-What gaps?
-She got gaps. I got gaps -- together we fill the gaps.
-You ballin' her?
-Don't talk dirty 'bout ya sister.
-Yo, Rock. I made a few phone calls an' thanks to me ya goin' to be a big man -- Thatta dog?
-Whatta these guys want?
-To see ya train.
-Yo, what's with you? -- It was suppose to be private.
-Outta my house I want ya!!
-...I can't haul meat no more.
-What can I do about it?
-Christ, I been beggin' ya for a break until I'm sick inside.
-So much has happened lately -- Has it changed your life style much?
-...People talk to me more.
-We can cut that out later. Apollo Creed says he'll let you stay three rounds before he puts you away.
-Apollo's a great fighter.
-Do you feel you have a chance?
-I'll tear his head off.
-Do you have anything derogatory to say about the Champion?
-This is your largest payday ever -- How do you feel about it?
-Feel? I dunno... Happy.
-How will you fight Apollo Creed?
-Is it true the most you've ever made in a prizefight is five hundred dollars?
-Four hundred -- But that was a long time ago.
-And now your payday will be one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Any comment?
-We don't serve formula. Snookums.
-You serve martinis, doncha?
-Oh, a ladies man, huh?
-No. But neither does Roger. That's Diablo Red. Roger's pants are Sunrise Orange.
-Well, I'll be...
-Make it dry. Baby doesn't like to be wet. You're Valiant, right? The name's Baby Herman.
-I know who you are. Kinda out of your neighborhood, aren't you?
-Yeah, I had to go slummin'. See, a friend of mine's bein' framed.
-You mean the rabbit? They got him cold.
-My problem is I come here to drink in peace. So if you don't mind...
-And another thing, the paper said no will was found. But every Toon knows Acme had a will and, in it he promised to leave Toontown to the Toons.
-So where is it then?
-My hunch is it was Maroon. He always was after Acme's property.
-Gee, it's swell to see you, Eddie. We miss you in Toontown.
-Wish I could say the same. What're you doin' here, Betty?
-Work's been slow for me since the cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie... 'Boop boop be-doop'.
-Yeah, you still got it, Betty. Who's Mr. Jocularity?
-That's Marvin Acme, the gag king.
-Shoulda guessed.
-He comes here every night to see Jessica Rabbit.
-Big on the musical comedy, huh?
-What's this, Roger?
-A tweeting bird?
-Please, Raoul. I can give you stars, I know I can. Just drop the safe on my head one more time.
-I've already dropped it on you twenty-three times.
-Don't worry about me. I can take it.
-So, makin' dame jokes, huh, Eddie? Well, lemme remind ya pal, it was a <u>dame</u> who took a hundred bucks out of the till so your landlord would't throw you out of your dump. And it was a <u>dame</u> who trusted you for the money when no one else in town would. And it's a <u>dame</u> who's tired of waitin' for you to straighten
-This is fifty bucks. I need seventy-five before they check the books tomorrow.
-You'll have it in the morning. Now be a sport and lemme have twenty bucks to put in my pocket.
-Is this paper even good?
-Check the scrawl.
-Hey, Eddie, looks like you really stepped in it this time.
-A new outfit bought the Red Car. Some big company called Cloverleaf Industries.
-No kiddin'? Bought the Red Cars, huh?
-Do you think the rabbit did it?
-Yeah, Eddie, it's not like you got an ad in the Yellow Pages.
-The papers said the safe door was opened, Eddie.
-So you're not even gonna bother to find out if the rabbit's gettin' framed?
-Jesus, Eddie, is this who I think it is?
-He's a riot.
-Oh, yeah? Well, you're not handcuffed to him. Anybody in the back room?
-So you decided to help him after all?
-Can you get him out of it, Eddie?
-So what's the scam, Eddie?
-Maybe they just took it out of his pocket.
-Eddie, you still got it. Hey, tomorrow maybe I'll go down to probate court and see who's sniffin' around Acme's estate?
-What was <u>that</u>?
-<u>That</u> was the rabbit's wife.
-The rabbit's wife? Wanna tell me what she was doin' with her arms around you?
-Probably lookin' for a good place to stick a knife.
-I just stopped by to tell you that I checked out the Acme probate.
-Maroon, right?
-Nope. It's that Cloverleaf outfit again.
-What the hell would they want with a gag factory?
-What's that comin' from the bar?
-Sounds like singin'.
-I was hopin' you'd be there. Maroon's called here about four times. He says he's gotta talk to you tonight. He says he can help you.
-I'll bet.
-Are you gonna call him, Eddie?
-What've I got to lose? You okay, Dolores?
-Yeah... they closed me down for a coupla weeks.
-That'll work out just fine. When this thing is over, I'll take you to Catalina. How does that sound?
-He's not my client. I was workin' for R.K. Maroon.
-Yes, we talked to Mr. Maroon. He told us the rabbit became quite agitated when you showed him the pictures, and said nothing would stand in the way of him getting his wife back. Is that true?
-Men? They look more like weasles to me.
-Yes, I find that weasles have a special gift for the work. The rabbit didn't contact you by any chance, did he?
-Why would he contact me? I just took some lousy pictures.
-So you wouldn't have any idea where he might be?
-Being caught breaking and entering is not very good advertising for a detective. What were you looking for, Mr. Valiant?
-Marvin Acme had no will. I should know, the probate is in my court.
-They must've taken it off me.
-They?
-Take it easy, Bongo. We'll handle Mr. Valiant our own way... downtown.
-Downtown? Fine. Get a hold of Santino, I'd be more than glad to talk to him.
-You're not takin' me to downtown <u>Toon</u>town?
-Indeed we are. We'll continue the interrogation there.
-I ain't tellin' you nothin'! Get me Santino.
-I don't think it's gonna matter. Sorry, pal, I tried.
-Well, why not? I'm feeling magnanimous tonight. The successful conclusion of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist. I'm retiring to take a new role in the private sector.
-These roads can be very treacherous at night, especially in a maniacal Toon vehicle.
-The pot's callin' the kettle maniacal.
-No matter. I don't expect the will to show up in the next fifteen minutes. By then Cloverleaf will own Toontown quite legally.
-So you're Cloverleaf?
-Come on, Doom. What would a company like that want with Toontown?
-Don't you think anyone's gonna notice that Toontown's gone?
-Right here where we're standing, will be the cornerstone of my idea... the cloverleaf -- an elegant cement structure that intertwines freeways.
-What the hell's a freeway?
-A freeway, Mr. Valiant, is eight lanes of asphalt running uninterrupted from L.A. to Pasadena. Pasadena to Hollywood. Hollywood to Santa Monica. Someday everyone will be in cars driving happily, non-stop from one end of the L.A. Basin to another.
-That's what this is all about? Tell me, who's gonna use your lousy freeway? We got the Red Cars, the best public transportation in the country.
-Holy shit, he's a Toon!
-Surprised?
-You?
-Here's one for the books... a Toon wearin' human clothes.
-Earl... it's me, Valiant.
-Eddie? Jesus, what happened?
-Toon cops worked me over.
-Boy, I'll say. They gave you a real Toon-a-Roo.
-You're a pig... a happy-go-lucky pig.
-No...
-Does it hurt?
-Not much. It's hard to talk.
-Last week some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir. Maybe that's what he was after?
-Hello, Mr. Valiant. I rang the doorbell, but I guess you couldn't hear it.
-Oh... well, I... I just had to see you.
-Come on, lady, haven't you ever seen a mole before?
-Toons aren't given imperfections.
-No? I guess we're not counting lying, stealing and murder.
-You've got the wrong idea about me. I'a a pawn in this just like poor Roger. Can you help me find him? I'll pay you anything.
-Yeah, I'll bet you would. You gotta have the rabbit to make the scam work.
-No, no, no... I love my husband.
-Oh, sure. I can just feature you standin' outside your little hutch, holdin' a carrot cake waitin' for hubby to come home.
-Oh, please don't make fun of me, Mr, Valiant. You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
-Yeah, well, you don't know how hard it is bein' a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
-I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
-So altruistic.
-It's the truth. Why won't you believe it?
-Cause I don't take Acme Dumb Pills. I don't know what you're up to, lady, but I'm gonna nail you for the Acme murder.
-You shot Roger.
-Lady, I guess I had you pegged wrong.
-It was Doom who killed Acme, you know?
-Why didn't you tell me?
-I didn't know who I could trust.
-We're even. By the way, I did find your husband.
-Where is he?
-How did you get onto Doom?
-So where is it?
-When I opened up the blue envelope, all that was inside was a blank piece of paper.
-Looks like our goose is cooked, our hash is slung, our fait is accompli...
-Lemme guess where you got that from. Tell me somethin', what'd you ever see in that guy anyway?
-Hold on a second.
-Tell me you didn't do a snoop job for a Toon named Roger the Rabbit.
-Now what?
-They say the rabbit got the safe idea from a cartoon he was makin' the other day.
-What a gasser.
-Where'd this gargoyle come from anyway?
-What's with the dip?
-What the hell is that?
-Doom.
-Valiant, did you see the rabbit?
-He was blowin' his lines, all right. So what?
-How much do you know about show business, Valiant?
-Yeah, and there's no business as expensive. I'm twenty-five grand over budget on the latest Bunnysitter cartoon and it's all because that rabbit can't keep his mind on his work. And you know why?
-One too many safes dropped on his head?
-Here's the problem... "Seen cooing over calamari with notsonew Sugar Daddy was Jessica Rabbit... wife of Maroon star, Roger". His wife's a tramp, but he thinks she's Betty Crocker. The doubt's eatin' him up.
-So what do you want me to do?
-Get me a couple juicy pictures. Somethin' I can wise the rabbit up with.
-I don't work in Toontown.
-You don't have to. The rabbit's wife sings at an underground Toon revue joint called The Ink & Paint Club. You can catch her in action there.
-The job's gonna cost you a hundred bucks.
-A hundred bucks? That's ridiculous.
-I got him on loan from Disney.
-When will I hear from you?
-Well, you better start thinkin' about drinkin' it black.
-Son-of-a-bitch... Mr. Maroon, I think I'll be goin' now, so about the rest of my fee...
-Hi, Mr. Maroon. Remember me?
-Valiant? What're you doin' here?
-I Just thought I'd drop by and show you a photograph.
-I've already seen your photographs.
-Maroon? Whaddaya want?
-Have you got the will?
-Maybe. Why?
-Meet me at my studio at nine o'clock. If you've got the will maybe we can stop this thing.
-Valiant! You surprised me.
-You're not too good at this, are you, R.K.?
-No... I'm not. I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer.
-Well, everybody needs a hobby.
-You got the will in there, don't ya?
-No, I don't.
-You tricked me, damn you!
-Take it easy.
-Pattycake! Pattycake!
-My advice? Hop on over to Reno, get yourself a quickie divorce.
-Aah!
-What the hell are you doin'?
-I needed a place to hide. I'm in trouble, Eddie.
-So I hear. Even talkin' to you could get me a rap for aiding and abetting.
-Don't worry, Eddie, no one knows I'm here.
-Oh, yeah? Then how'd you find my house?
-Well, I asked the newsboy on the corner. He didn't know. Then I asked a janitor, the fireman and finally the green grocer down the way. He was very helpful.
-Look, pal, if you're still here when I finish this drink, I'm callin' the police.
-Don't do that! I'm innocent I tell ya. The police'll just dip me. They were waitin' for me when I got home last night. I ran.
-If you're so innocent, why'd you run?
-Eddie Valiant... you're under arrest! Just kidding...
-Hey! What do you think you're doin'?
-Sorry, Eddie, I forgot you're not a Toon.
-Does this help?
-You mean to tell me you coulda taken your hand outta that cuff at any time?
-Are you always this funny, or only on days when you're wanted for murder?
-My philosophy is if you don't have a sense of humor, you're better off dead.
-Yeah. I think Maroon plays the part of the sound mind, your wife the sound body.
-I resent that innuendo! My wife is completely innocent.
-The habeus corpus is thickening.
-Yeah. Except they screwed up. I don't think they got the will.
-How do you know that?
-Well, Mr. Smarty-Pants Detective, your logic is specious. What prevented Mr. Acme from putting the will back in the safe before they killed him?
-Hey, don't I get an encore?
-Why, you crazy Toon... I've been out there riskin' my neck for you. I come back here and you're singin' and dancin'.
-But that's my calling, my purpose, my raison d'etre. Toons are supposed to make people laugh... and believe me, those people needed a laugh.
-And when they're done laughin' , they're gonna call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel!
-Angelo? He's a pal, a chum...
-An arsonist and a kidnapper. He just got outta prison.
-Well... I still don't think he'd turn me in.
-Just because you got 'em to laugh?
-A laugh can be a powerful thing, Eddie. Sometimes it's the only weapon we have in life.
-I think I prefer the Smith and Wesson variety.
-I've met some cynical and miserable humans in my time. But you, Edward Valiant, are positively funereal!
-Hey, doesn't the rabbit even get a last request?
-A blindfold, cigarette, noseplugs? Just kidding.
-Here you go, kid... say hi to Casper for me.
-But, Eddie, you know what happens when...
-Oh, Eddie, that was quick thinkin'. Nothin' like usin' the old noggin, the noodle, the grey matter...
-Valiant and Valiant? Who's the other Valiant?
-So what's our plan, our scenario, our modus operandi?
-Say, who's this guy laughin'?
-Me.
-Gee, I didn't recognize you... I've never seen you laugh before. That your brother makin' the rabbit ears?
-You damn Toon! No wonder they picked you for the patsy. Always gotta play the fool. You make me sick!
-Gee, you shamuses are a tough audience, but what happened to you that was so dark, lurid, embittering?
-You wanna know? Well, since you're so goddamn curious, I'll tell ya. One of you Toons killed my brother.
-A Toon? Noooo.
-Yeah, a Toon. It was the guy who killed Bambi's mother.
-Him? Oh, he was vile, heinous, despicable... a smear on the drafting board.
-Yeah, everybody thought so. But me and Teddy got a kick out of Toons. All Toons. We couldn't see the bad in 'em. And when this guy was accused of knockin' over the First National Bank of Toontown, we took his case. But when we looked into it, we found out he did do it after all. We went to his house to take
-Safe?
-I'll get it.
-Wrong number?
-Gee, Eddie, you're not gonna go, are ya? Maroon'll be layin' for ya at nine o'clock.
-That's why I'll be there at 8:45.
-I tell you what, maybe I better come with you.
-You know, Eddie, I'm not as much of a chump, and a patsy, a yokel as you think.
-How much is a shave and a haircut, Roger?
-Two bits.
-If I don't make it back here by ten...
-Yeah?
-What the hell are you doin' in there?
-Real good, Rog... but maybe you better let me take over.
-That's not blood. That's ink. That goof Acme squirted me with some the other day. Why it's comin' 'through now, I don't know.
-That's because it's Disappearing-Reappearing Ink. Shows up three days later. Gives you enough time to get away from the victim so he doesn't punch you in the nose. Great gag.
-Say Roger, remember that love letter you wrote your wife at the Ink & Paint Club?
-Yeah?
-I think you oughta read it to her.
-Keep reading...
-No, kid, you're a real hero.
-By the way, Roger, you were right about your wife. She's a good lady. I'm glad you got her back.
-And I'm glad you got your sense of humor back. Think you'll keep it?
-Pretty good cigar. Where'd you get it?
-Boo! Ah, ha ha. Ooh. Boo! Ha ha ha.
-I will bite my thumb at them; which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.
-Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
-I do bite my thumb, sir!
-Do you bite your thumb at us? Sir.
-Quarrel sir! no, sir.
-If you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a man as you.
-No better?
-If she is well then nothing can be ill. Her body rests in Capel's monument, and her immortal part with the angel's lives. I saw her laid low. Pardon me for bringing these ill news.
-Then I defy you, stars! JULIET! JULIET! I will hence tonight.
-Have patience!
-Leave Me!
-Your looks are pale and wild and do import some misadventure.
-Live and be prosperous; and farewell good fellow.
-Then I'll leave thee.
-Romeo! Romeo!
-Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home to-night?
-Not to his father's; I spoke with his man.
-Why that pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline. Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
-Tybalt, the kinsman of old Capulet, Hath sent a letter to his father's house.
-A challenge, on my life.
-Romeo will answer it?
-Any man that can write may answer a letter.
-Nay, he will answer the letter's master, how he dares, being dared.
-But alas poor Romeo! he is already dead; stabbed with a white wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a love-song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy's butt-shaft: and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
-Why, what is Tybalt?
-More than prince of cats. He is the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick- song, keeps time, distance, and proportion; he rests his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause: the immortal passado!
-Keep away the cats! Thou art like one of these fellows that, when he enters the confines of a tavern claps me his sword upon the table and says, &quot;God send me no need of thee.&quot; and by the operation of the second cup draws him on the drawer, when indeed there is no need.
-Am I like Such a fellow?
-Thou art as hot a Jack in thy mood as any in Verona.
-By my head here come the Capulets.
-Either withdraw unto some private place, or reason coldly of your grievences, or else depart. Here all eyes gaze on us.
-Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything of nothing first create. heavy lightness. Serious vanity. Misshapen chaos of well seeming forms.
-Good-morrow, cousin.
-Is the day so young?
-But new struck cuz.
-Ay me! Sad hours seem long. Was that my father that went hence so fast?
-It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?
-Not having that, which, having, makes them short.
-In love?
-Out--
-Of love?
-Out of her favour, where I am in love.
-Alas, that love, so gentle in his view, Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!
-Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still, Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will! Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all. Here's much to do with hate, but more with love. Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any thing, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness!
-No, cuz, I rather weep.
-Good heart, at what?
-At thy good heart's oppression.
-Farewell, my cuz.
-Tell me in sadness, who is that you love.
-In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman.
-I aim'd so near, when I supposed you loved.
-A right good marks-man! And she's fair I love.
-A right fair mark, fair cuz, is soonest hit.
-Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit With Cupid's arrow; Nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes, Nor open her lap to saint-seducing gold:
-Then she hath sworn that she will still live chaste?
-She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste.
-Be ruled by me, forget to think of her.
-Teach me how I should forget to think.
-By giving liberty unto thine eyes; Examine other beauties. Why, Romeo, art thou mad?
-Every man betake him to his legs.
-This wind, you talk of, blows us from ourselves; Supper is done, and we shall come too late.
-Forbear this outrage, good Mercutio.
-What dares the slave Come hither, To fleer and scorn at our solemnity? Now, by the stock and honour of my kin, To strike him dead, I hold it not a sin.
-Why, how now, kinsman! wherefore storm you so?
-Uncle, this is that villain Romeo, a Montague, our foe.
-Young Romeo is it?
-'Tis he.
-Content thee, gentle cuz, content thee. Let him alone; I would not for the wealth of all the town Here in my house do him disparagement: Therefore be patient, take no note of him
-I'll not endure him.
-He shall be endured
-Uncle, 'tis a shame.
-Such mortal drugs I have, but Verona's law is death to any that utters them.
-The world is not thy friend, nor the worlds law. Then be not poor, but break it, and take this.
-My poverty, but not my will consents.
-I pay thy poverty, and not thy will.
-Drink it off and, if you had the strength of twenty men it would dispatch you straight.
-Are you at leisure Holy Father, now? Or shall I come to you at evening mass?
-It strains me past the compass of my wits.
-If in thy wisdom thou canst give no help Do thou but call my resolution wise, And with this I'll help it presently!
-Hold Daughter!
-Be not so long to speak I long to die.
-I do spy a kind of hope, Which craves as desperate and execution as that is desperate which we would prevent. If, rather than to marry Paris, Thou hast the strength of will to slay thyself, Then it is likely thou wilt undertake a thing like death, to chide away this shame. No warmth, no breath shall testify thou livest . Each part, deprived
-Good marrow, father!
-Young son, it argues a distemper'd head so soon to bid good marrow to thy bed: or if not so so, then here I hit it right, our Romeo hath not seen his bed tonight.
-The last is true; the sweeter rest was mine.
-God pardon sin, was thou with Rosaline!?
-Rosaline? My ghostly father no; I have forgot that name, and that name's woe.
-That's my good son: but where hast thou been
-I have been feasting with mine enemy, where on a sudden one hath wounded me, that's by me wounded; both our remeidies within thy help and holy physic lies.
-Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift; riddling confession finds but riddling shrift.
-Then plainly know my hearts dear love is set, on the fair daughter of rich Capulet. We met, we wooed, we made exchange of vow. I'll tell thee as we pass; but this I pray, that thou consent to marry us today.
-Holy Saint Francis, what a change is here! Is Rosaline that thou didst love so dear so soon forsaken? Young men's love then lies not truly in their hearts but in their eyes.
-Thou chid'st me oft for loving Rosaline.
-For doting; not for loving, pupil mine.
-I pray thee, chde me not; whom I love now doth grace for grace and love for love allow; the other did not so.
-O, she new well. Thy love read by rote and could not spell. Come, young waverer, come, go with me, In one respect I'll thy assistant be; for this alliance may so happy prove, to turn you household rachor to pure love.
-O, let us hence; I stand on sudden haste.
-Banishment? Be merciful, say death; for exile hath more terror in his look much more than death. Do not say Banishment.
-Affliction is enamoured of thy parts, and thou art wedded to calamity. Hence from Verona art thou banished. Be patient, for the world is broad and wide.
-There is no world without Verona walls, hence banished is banished from the world and worlds exile is death. Then banished is death mis-termed. Calling death banished, thou cu'st my head off with a golden axe and smiles upon the stroke that murders me.
-How well my comfort is revived by this.
-Hie you make haste! But look thou stay not till the watch be set, for then thou canst not pass to Mantua where thau shalt live till we can find a time to blaze you marriage, reconcile your friends, beg pardon of the Prince and call thee back with twenty hundred times more joy, than thou wentst forth in lamentation. Quick hence! Be gone
-As the custom is, in all her best array, bear her to church.
-Juliet!
-I come for my lady Juliet.
-Welcome.
-Where is my Lady's lord?
-I thought thy disposition better tempered! Thy Juliet is alive. There art thou happy. The law that threatened death becomes thy friend and turns it to exile. There art thou happy. A Pack of blessings light upon thy back. Wherefore railest thou on thy birth the heaven and earth? Since birth and heaven and earth all three do meet in thee at once.
-O God. Did Romeo's hand shed Tybalt's blood? O serpent heart hid with a flowering face. Was ever book containing such vile matter's so fairly bound? O, that deceit should dwell in such a gorgeous palace.
-Thou hast a careful father, child: One who, to put thee from thy heaviness, hath sorted out a sudden day of joy that thou expects nor I looked not for.
-Madam, in happy time what day is that?
-Marry my child next Thursday Morn. The gallant, young and noble gentleman, Sir Paris, at Saint Peter's Church, shall make thee there a joyful bride.
-What? Now. St. Peter's Church, and Peter too, he shall not make me there a joyful bride!
-O sweet my mother cast me not away. Delay this marriage for a month, a week. Or if you do not make the bridal bed in that dim monument where Tybalt lies.
-Talk not to me, for Ill not speak a word. Do as thou wilt for I have done with thee.
-What, daughter are you busy? Need you my help?
-No, madam. We have culled such necessaries as our behoveful for our state tomorrow. so please you, let me now be left alone, and let the nurse this night sit up with you. for I am sure you have your hands full in all this so sudden business.
-Geth thee to be and rest, for thou has need.
-Farewell. God knows when we shall meet again.
-Goodnight.
-I bade her come. God forbid! Juliet! Juliet! Juliet!
-Juliet!
-Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed. If that thy bent of love be honourable, Thy purpose marriage, send me word to-morrow, By one that I'll procure to come to thee, Where and what time thou wilt perform the rite; And all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay And follow thee my lord throughout the world.
-[Within] Juliet!
-I uh, by and by I come--But if thou mean'st not well, I do beseech thee--
-[Within] Juliet!
-O honey nurse, what news? Nurse?
-I am a-weary, give me leave awhile: Fie, how my bones ache! what a jaunt have I!
-I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news: I pray thee, speak.
-What haste? can you not stay awhile? Do you not see that I am out of breath?
-How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath To say to me that thou art out of breath? Is the news good, or bad? answer to that;
-Well, you have made a simple choice; you know not how to choose a man: Romeo! no, not he; though his face be better than any man's, yet his leg excels all men's; and for a hand, and a foot, and a body,
-But all this did I know before. What says he of our marriage? what of that?
-Lord, how my head aches! what a head have I! O, my back! Other' other side,--O, my back.
-I' faith, I am sorry that thou art not well. Sweet, sweet, sweet nurse, tell me, what says my love?
-Your love says, like an honest gentleman, and a courteous, and a kind, and a handsome, and, I warrant, a virtuous,--Where is your mother?
-Where is my mother! How oddly thou repliest! Your love says, like an honest gentleman, Where is your mother?'
-O lady dear! Are you so hot? Henceforward do your messages yourself.
-Here's such a coil! Come, what says Romeo?
-Have you got leave to go to confession to-day?
-I have.
-Faith, here it is. I think it best you marry with this Paris. O, he's a lovely gentleman. I think you are happy in this second match, for it excels your first; or if it did not, your first is dead--or 'twere as good he were as living here and you no use to him.
-Speakest thou from thy heart?
-And from my soul too. Else beshrew them both.
-Amen
-What?
-Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.
-If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
-Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.
-Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?
-Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
-Well, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.
-Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.
-Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.
-Then have my lips the sin that they have took.
-Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.
-He jests at scars that never felt a wound. But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she: Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is
-Ay me!
-She speaks: O, speak again, bright angel!
-Romeo, O Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet.
-[Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?
-'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot, Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other word would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not
-I take thee at thy word.
-Ahhh!
-Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?
-Neither, fair maid, if either thee dislike.
-How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore? The garden walls are high and hard to climb, And the place death, considering who thou art, If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
-With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls; For stony limits cannot hold love out, And what love can do that dares love attempt; Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me.
-If they do see thee, they will murder thee.
-I have night's cloak to hide me from their eyes, And but thou love me, let them find me here: My life were better ended by their hate, Than death prorogued, wanting of thy love.
-Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face, Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny What I have spoke: but farewell compliment! Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,' And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st, Thou
-Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops--
-O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circled orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
-Well what shall I swear by?
-Do not swear at all; Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, Which is the god of my idolatry, And I'll believe thee.
-If my heart's dear love--
-Do not swear: although I joy in thee, I have no joy of this contract to-night: It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden; Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be Ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night! This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet. Good night.
-O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
-What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?
-The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.
-So thrive my soul--
-A thousand times good night! Exit, above
-A thousand times the worse, to want thy light. Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from their books, But love from love, toward school with heavy looks.
-Romeo! At what o'clock to-morrow Shall I send to thee?
-By the hour of nine.
-Come gentle night. Come loving black-browned night give me my Romeo. And when I shall die, take him and cut him out into little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun. O, I have bought the mansion of love but not possessed,
-Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day.
-I must be gone and live, or stay and die.
-That light is not daylight, I know it, I. It is some meteor that the sun exhales to light thee on thy way to Mantua. Therefore stay yet. Thou needest not be gone.
-Let me be taken, let me be put to death. I have more care to stay then will to go. Come death, Welcome, Juliet wills it so. How is't my soul? Let us talk it is not day.
-It is, It is! Hie hence, be gone, away. O, now be gone. More light and light it grows.
-Then window, let day in and let life out. O, think'st thou we shall ever meet again?
-I doubt it not. Trust me, love, all these woes shall serve for sweet discourses in our times to come. Adieu.
-Romeo. What's here? Poison. Drunk all, and left no friendly drop to help me after. I will kiss thy lips. Happily some poison yet doth hang on them. Thy lips are warm.
-Nurse, give leave awhile, We must talk in secret. Nurse, come back again; I have remember'd me, thou's hear our counsel. Nurse, Thou know'st my daughter's of a pretty age.
-Thou wast the prettiest babe that e'er I nursed.
-By my count, I was your mother much upon these years, You are now a maid. Thus then in brief: The valiant Paris seeks you for his love.
-A man, young lady! Lady, such a man As all the world- -why, he's a man of wax.
-Verona's summer hath not such a flower.
-Nay, he's a flower; in faith, a very flower.
-This night you shall behold him at our feast; Read o'er the volume of young Paris' face, And find delight writ there with beauty's pen; This precious book of love, this unbound lover, To beautify him, only lacks a cover: So shall you share all that he doth possess, By having him, making yourself no less.
-Nay, bigger; women grow by men.
-Go! We follow thee. Juliet, Blah!
-Young hearts run free. Never be caught up, caught up like Rosaline and thee. Nay, gentle Romeo, we must have you dance.
-Not I, Not I believe me: you have dancing shoes With nimble soles: I have a soul of lead
-You are a lover; borrow Cupid's wings, And soar with them above a common bound.
-Under love's heavy burden do I sink.
-Too great oppression for a tender thing.
-Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, Too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn.
-Why, may one ask?
-I dream'd a dream to-night.
-And so did I.
-Well, what was yours?
-That dreamers often lie.
-In bed asleep, while they do dream things true.
-O, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with you. She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes In shape no bigger than an agate-stone On the fore-finger of an alderman, Drawn with a team of little atomies Over men's noses as they lie asleep; Her chariot is an empty hazel-nut Her wagoner a small grey-coated gnat, And in this state she gallops night
-Peace, good Mercutio, peace! Thou talk'st of nothing.
-Away, begone; the sport is at the best.
-Ho Ho, Capital Punks!
-Signior Romeo, bon jour! there's a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
-Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
-The slip, son, the slip; can you not conceive?
-Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great; and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
-That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
-Meaning, to court'sy.
-Thou hast most kindly hit it.
-A most courteous exposition.
-Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
-Pink for flower.
-Right.
-Why, then is my pump well flowered.
-Sure Witt! Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature.
-I will follow you.
-Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch. Ay, a scratch, a scratch. HA HA HA.
-Courage man, the hurt can not be much.
-'Twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man. A plague o' both your houses. They have made worms meat of me. A plague on both your Houses! Why the devil did you come between us? I was hurt under your arm.
-I thought all for the best.
-A Plague o' both your houses.
-Follow me close. Gentlemen, gooday. A word with one of you?
-OH, and but one word with one of us? Couple it with something. Make it a word and a...a blow.
-You shall find me apt enough to that, sir. And you will give me occasion.
-Could you not take some occasion without giving?
-Mercutio! Thou art consortest with Romeo?
-Calm, Dishonorable, Vile Submission! Thou art my souls hate! Tybalt! You ratcatcher, will you walk?
-What wouldst thou have with me?
-Good king of cat's, nothing but one of your nine lives.
-Madam, your mother craves a word with you. Come lets away.
-Is she a Capulet?
-If ye should lead her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say: for the lady is young; and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing, and very weak dealing.
-Nurse.
-O, she says nothing sir, but weeps and weeps, and then on Romeo cries and then falls down again.
-Do you have it?
-Always in a rush, you are. All these years I've known you, you could never wait for anything.
-This is important.
-Do you really think so?
-Why did you do that?
-It's under your seat.
-What?
-Coordinate all you want, but make sure whatever you do gets cleared through me. Are we in sync on this, Vincent?
-We kept it...
-While Sam and I take out the back two cars...
-And then Sam, you and I clean up whatever's left to be cleaned.
-Of course.
-Finding this package is a thing easier said than done. We don't even know what it is. What did we steal?
-I don't know.
-When this whole thing started you made it clear: you're running the show. And I don't believe you'd be running this show if you didn't know what was going on.
-Well I don't!
-You go shoot me if you want, Vincent, but you'll be dead before I hit the ground.
-Only the stupid ones. Cigarettes kill more patriots than bullets. Besides, I'm not IRA no more.
-So where do you go from here?
-I don't know. I was thinking...Maybe the three of us might partner up -- guns for hire, that sort of thing.
-It's good to see you've all got such faith in our little undertaking.
-Who the fuck are you?
-I drive -- and my name is Larry. Larry from the States.
-So what's the deal?
-You call me with the target's route, I follow along until we've reached the attack point and then I run his squag ass off the road.
-Then Swede and I split with the package and meet you back at the rendezvous.
-And you believed me? But it wasn't my people who did it.
-I never did trust that blonde fuck...
-This...this is incredible. Is the rest of Europe like this?
-Some places, not all. Italy, for instance, they're serious about their food. But try bloody Britain, anywhere in the U.K., you don't get much fancier than a deep-fried bar egg. Food's not our thing, you see.
-What is?
-Best beer in the world known to man or God.
-Best beer in the world? Budweiser for me, thanks.
-Budweiser? You talk to me of beer and you've the unbridled gall to mention Budweiser in the same sentence? That's not beer! Christ, it's not even a poor excuse for rabbit piss.
-Oh yeah? Whatta you drink, then?
-When we're done with this, I want to do for that one myself.
-Now there's the Deirdre I know.
-And what's that supposed to mean, Seamus Reilly?
-It means I was worried that all the time you spent away from the fold might have affected you. You've been living the life of the hired gun -- the well paid hired gun, I might note. There's no glory to it, but there are those that like it.
-So you thought that maybe I'd grown too attached to this charade I've been playing, is that it?
-It's been known to happen.
-Not to me, you know that.
-Problem my ass! I think you're lying to me, and if you are you're a dead man!
-Would somebody tell me what fucking well happened in there?
-What in bloody hell is going on?
-They're part of the team. One of them's the guy I told you about.
-From Interpol?
-Lose them!
-About time!
-Good Christ! Can't you lose these jokers?
-You better be careful, Seamus, before something happens a plastic surgeon can't fix.
-Plastic fucking surgeon? You think I'm going to fix this, Deirdre lass? It's the mark of the patriot, and I'll wear it like a badge. As for those who done it to me, I'll take my pound of flesh before this is all over.
-You're thinking with your gun, Seamus, and not your head...
-Do I need to repeat myself?
-Sam. I'm a weapons guy.
-You were a soldier, were you?
-Hazard pay...
-The two of you were supposed to go to a simple meet and come back with a simple piece of information, and instead you went to fucking war...
-I feel as if I've wandered onto the set of Enter The Dragon. Could you teach me to do that?
-I didn't think to see you again tonight. You were pretty pissed.
-I still am.
-Is that right?
-Part of me says I should just look at this as a perk. You know, a bonus. But then I remember you're you -- Deirdre who used to belong to the IRA -- and it occurs to me that deceit and subterfuge come very naturally to you.
-Nobody's saying they don't.
-And when I consider that, I have to wonder if you don't have some ulterior motive for being here, with me, right now.
-Look, Sam, don't take it the wrong way when I tell you we won't be doing this again.
-You don't have to explain yourself to me, Deirdre.
-I know I don't have to, Sam, it's just that, for once, I want to. when I was a - Patriot, it was a given I'd sleep with any man it was deemed necessary for me to sleep with. You know: any man who needed setting up. Sometimes so we might blackmail him, sometimes so he could be killed. Sometimes so I could kill
-You're a hired gun, Deirdre -- just like me.
-I better be getting that.
-Duty calls?
-Now, what did we steal?
-Because if they had she'd be gone along with the package, instead of sitting here with us.
-I bought it for him -- all the stuff he was using, it was in his contract. Cost a nice penny, too, especially that goddamned phone: Gregor had expensive tastes.
-Check this out. Gregor's a spook, or he was one until recently. When he was a spy he lived the life -- you know, a prince in some Eastern Bloc country where nobody had shit and Gregor had everything. Then the wall goes down. No more Cold War. And Gregor is out of a job. No apartment, no special stores with Western food and
-Well, if it isn't Mr. Interpol himself. I can't believe I misjudged you like I did.
-Oh please..you're on some sort of holy mission?
-I'm a patriate.
-Don't even think that I'm buying that.
-Where do you get off saying word one? All the time pretending to be one of us, it's the same thing we were doing, Seamus and myself. And here you are so high and mighty, like you're so different from the rest of us.
-I didn't say I was.
-Are you alright?
-Not me. You work too often with the same people and you become friends -- clouds your judgement.
-Who are you? IRA?
-From here on in you want something you pay cash for it: no credit cards, no bank accounts are in place: ten percent up front, the rest when the job is done. You. What do you do and what should we call you?
-It's quite satifactory.
-Good, because it cost enough. There's cheaper phones by far than that one, man: you better fucking use it.
-I intend to. This phone is wired like no other: it's got an encryption chip and instant sat-a-link recognition, it can talk to any computer in any language and make it understand. With my custom hardware and this phone I can trace the target's cell phone signature and follow him anywhere he goes...
-You sure about this?
-I'd stake my reputation.
-But would you stake your life, that's the question...
-Now then, let's run through it one more time, shall we? What's your job?
-I use my cell phone to get computer access to the telecommunications satellite used by our target. I trace his cell phone signature and use it to pin point his location as he moves through Nice, relaying that information to you.
-Alright, Gregor, I'm...
-Where's the case?
-That fucking figures...
-Go ahead, shoot... Shoot and kill the bitch, I don't care. And yet you don't shoot. Interesting. Put down your weapon and walk away.
-Don't do it, Sam!
-Shut up!
-Yes, Gregor, they sent me.
-I'm touched, really, that they'd send someone of your caliber. It's nice to know that they didn't make the mistake of underestimating me twice.
-That was a mistake, trying to kill you. Mikhi did it without consulting me, I'd have never allowed it.
-I'm sure. But I'm sorry to say that it's too late for trust: we have a serious problem.
-We'll double your price.
-Really? Do you have the money with you?
-Do you have the material?
-You first, Edvard.
-Perhaps we could both go at the same time...
-Do you have it?
-Not so fast. Who's that?
-He's company.
-Bad company...
-What do you mean?
-Here's yours.
-There's been a slight problem.
-If you say a word in English, Vincent, my friend with the high powered sporting rifle will shoot you in the throat. Sorry to screw you over like this, but the information you want might get me killed if I give it to you, and that's a price I'm not willing to pay.
-I take it you still want the money...
-Where's my information?
-In here...
-Sit, sit... Would you like one?
-No, Mikhi, I wouldn't. Since I won't speak your language, and you can't speak mine, English will do nicely.
-Whatever you wish... This has all been a terrible mistake, Gregor. I wanted to play straight with you, but Edvard insisted we try and kill you.
-Edvard said the same thing about you before he died.
-I'm shocked, shocked to think that you'd believe him.
-And more importantly --
-We'll die if we stay here!
-If you're lying to me you poor excuse for a human being, I'm gonna blow your brains all over this car.
-This better be the real thing or you're a dead man!
-It is, I'm telling you it is!!
-What am I doing here? Why, I'm here to see my partners, Gregor, the boys in the Russian Mafia. See, your bosses had hoped to screw me by hiring you to pull your thieving double cross. But they only just found out that what's in the briefcase is completely useless without me. I can't fight them, and they can't kill me -- that means
-But you hate each other!
-So, you've got it all figured, do you?
-Figured enough to know there's an odd man out and I'm looking at him.
-Whoever hired us.
-So none of us knows who's paying the freight, this is just some anonymous job. For all we know, we're working for different people.
-Don't talk to me unless you tell me what I want to hear, understand?!? You have no choice in this, don't think about winning, think about staying alive. I want the item, and if you don't give it to me, I'm gonna kill you.
-I don't have it with me...
-Bullshit!
-I swear...
-Then where is it?
-I sent it to myself in Paris.
-Sent it where?
-Is it done?
-Gregor, is that you?
-Much to your disappointment, no doubt.
-It was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened.
-I'm in the middle of saving you people a great deal of money -- the least you could do is have the decency to pay me!
-So what do we do?
-How so?
-I would imagine that the great satisfaction in all of this will be killing the American.
-I hadn't thought about it. Understand me, Gregor -- I take no pleasure in killing. It doesn't bother me one bit, but I don't get off on it.
-A means to an end, is that it?
-That's it.
-Then I guess we're set.
-There is one other thing...
-What are you doing?
-Don't cross me...
-Nobody's going to do that!
-Really?
-I need you, Swede, I can't do this without you!
-I just wanted to make sure you knew who you were dealing with.
-Hello, Jean-Pierre.
-He's tough, your American friend.
-Yes, Sam's tough alright.
-And you respect him.
-Of course. Don't you?
-I've never seen a man who could have taken what he just went through. He's a cop?
-Not exactly.
-Not exactly? But close enough, eh? So he saved your life, then?
-How did you know?
-American.
-Are you sure you won't have a drink?
-You think you can stitch me up on you own?
-Don't worry, we'll take care of it.
-Some, thanks. Enough to move on, for now.
-You should really let a doctor look at that.
-Soon.
-But first you have something to take care of?
-Yeah.
-Something important? A thing that cannot wait?
-It gets done now or not at all. Another couple of days and the parties concerned are gone where I can't get them.
-He sees this differently, as you well know.
-I didn't expect that he would.
-You suffered through an agonizing pain last night, pain you could have avoided by declaring yourself an agent of the law.
-Vincent told you that I'm a cop?
-So this is what, a test?
-If I was healthy, I could take that away from you.
-So what is it you want to know?
-I suppose I want to know how a man like you is created.
-Created?
-Perhaps forged is a better word. Like steel. Like a sword. You're a modern Samurai. I've spent my life around extraordinary men -- men like Vincent. But I've never seen anyone like you. I'm afraid Vincent will die if he goes with you.
-Vincent's life is his own burden; he'll have to carry it for himself. And I'm not any kind of Samurai.
-You seem one to me.
-The point remains: we could be working for different people. There's a chance for one of us... Maybe more than one of us -- has been paid to cross the others. I don't know about you guys, but I like to know who I'm working for. It can help prevent a great deal of... ...unpleasantness.
-You shoot alright.
-Gets the job done.
-All in the stomach, though. Your man might live.
-Not for long.
-Long enough to shoot back.
-Is that right?
-It's been known to happen.
-Yeah, well... My way works too.
-It's a cocktail. Mostly demerol, cut with a little crank because we might need you awake in the real near future.
-What are you gonna do, call him up and ask him to give us back our shit?
-What're you talking about, man? I don't understand.
-What a surprise...
-They call me Swede.
-Who's they?
-You should watch what you eat.
-Who the fuck died and appointed you food czar?
-I'm just worried about your health, Larry. You could stand to shed a few pounds.
-And you could stand to get a little smarter, ain't that right you dumb blonde fuck?
-I ride with fat-boy...
-Eat shit and die slowly...
-After we stop the target car I get out and use the heavy artillery to kill the driver and his bodyguard.
-Where is this broad?
-You should learn a little patience.
-Is that right?
-It's consider a virtue in some corners of the world.
-I don't particularly like killing, tubby, but I want you to know that this one I'm going to enjoy.
-Sorry I'm late...
-What makes you think we're here to meet you?
-Perhaps the police?
-Cigarette?
-He trusts you to lock up?
-I'm Vincent. And I coordinate.
-Coordinate what?
-Where to?
-To see a man about a thing.
-Pretty much what you'd expect.
-He says this is their block.
-As in, they own it?
-Something like that...
-And I suppose he's saying that we oughta give them something for using it, huh?
-I didn't know that you spoke French.
-What'd you say to him?
-That was a nice move you did on our young friend. Judo?
-Jujitsu.
-Same thing, isn't it?
-Not at all. Similar, but not the same.
-What's the difference?
-Help yourself. Since when do you smoke?
-I have, I don't know, maybe a cigarette a week.
-A cigarette? As in one? One cigarette a week, who smokes like that?
-I do.
-Christ, I smoke a pack-and-a-half a day, and I tell myself I could be worse. It's just so damned pleasurable.
-It has it's moments. Course, you get cancer and die, that's the down side.
-So, Vincent: why bring me along for the ride? Job like this calls for a warm body, somebody who can stand around and look threatening. A tough guy.
-Like Larry or Swede.
-Exactly. Why not bring them?
-Let's just say I thought the conversational possibilities were limited. Of course, I might have brought Gregor, but he didn't seem like the right candidate -- for this.
-Watch that one, he's an ex-spook for sure, maybe Stasi, maybe KGB. He's smart, Gregor is.
-So is the woman.
-Deirdre? Smart, yeah, and seriously goddamned dangerous.
-I wonder if she truly left the IRA.
-I've wondered that myself. None of this answers my question, though... Why bring me?
-I wanted to see who you were.
-You were once some kind of special forces. Airborne Ranger, maybe a Navy SEAL. After that you rode shotgun for the CIA in some place like El Salvador or Afghanistan, a real mercenary. Only now -- now you're like the rest of us, it's a very competitive market since the end of the cold war. There's a lot of hired guns out here, and
-That's right: there's not hardly enough work these days, nothing that pays the big money, anyhow. Then along comes this job, paying so much goddamned money I couldn't afford not to take it. Somebody's paying through the nose for this.
-They certainly are. Whatever it is we're going to steal, it must be quite something.
-Lovely, isn't it?
-What's going on?
-I just wanted to see something.
-I needed to know.
-You know, what you pulled back there, that was bullshit.
-I needed to see if you were a cop. I'm a popular man with the police, Sam, and whenever they try to catch me they always do it with an inside guy -- some man on some job who seems more trustworthy than all the others put together. And that's the guy you have to watch out for. I hate cops...
-How did you know?
-Know what?
-That there was a gun pointed at me.
-I saw you look off when Francois nodded his head. I figured he wasn't pointing out a particularly rare shrub, and the rest was easy.
-But how did you know I would have the presence of mind to pull my weapon when I did?
-The question still remains: what do we do now?
-What's going on?
-I came up here to sneak a smoke.
-You were smoking?
-I hope you don't mind I took your pack. It was on the table.
-I borrowed that, too...
-Of course...whenever you feel like it just help yourself.
-It was at that.
-A lot of people died.
-I've seen a lot of people die before.
-I haven't. Not like that. How do you get used to it?
-You don't. You just learn to live with it.
-I won't lie -- there have been times when I had to do it, times when the only way to get out alive was to see that the other man didn't.
-We live in a singular world, my friend.
-I never really thought I was part of the world you move in, Sam, to tell you the truth. I'm a hood, a thief. Big time in a small time king of way. To the local police I'm a prize, to the local hoods I'm a legend. But to a guy like you I'm just another two bit hired gun.
-He's going back.
-Not necessarily. He could go off road at any number of places. He might not even be in the country anymore.
-You're a cop...you're a fucking cop...I should kill you.
-That makes twice now you've saved my life.
-I didn't save your life back there. Risked it, maybe -- but I didn't save shit.
-You see it your way, I'll see it mine. You need a doctor.
-You know one around here? Somebody you trust?
-No...I thought I'd take you to the hospital.
-No hospitals. I'll fix this myself if I have to.
-Fix it yourself? Why are we even doing this? There's no need to run, Christ... You're a cop.
-Not exactly.
-You're with Interpol -- you're a cop.
-If I was a cop, a real cop, I'd have busted you a long time ago. This isn't about you, it's about the job I have to do.
-And what job is that?
-It looks to me like we're all that's left of our group.
-We? There is no we in my world now, Vincent, just me.
-I'm going with you.
-This doesn't involve you, don't you understand? I can't even guarantee you any money out of all this.
-It isn't about money for me, not anymore.
-You don't have to do this.
-Alright, it's done.
-You see the bullet?
-Clearly.
-You know him?
-The Irish representative?
-What's this?
-The address of the Russian production company. Just in case we need to find them.
-You sure your friend got the right place?
-Tell me, Sam: why do you do this?
-Do what?
-Continue when it would be so much easier to give it up.
-It's my job.
-Then quit. You don't work for Interpol, Sam.
-Sure I do. You heard him, you heard the guy -- that's what he said, what Edvard said.
-I'm a field agent -- last of an already extinct breed. I do dark ops.
-Dark ops?
-Dark operations. Wet work. Kidnaping. Assassination.
-Very ugly.
-It is at that.
-Not very zen of you, huh? Not so much the modern Samurai after all.
-I never made that claim.
-I know. Jean-Pierre did.
-You were behind the door?
-I was waiting to see what would happen. I didn't want to kill him if I didn't have to.
-You would have done that?
-I would have tried not to. But yes, if it would have kept him from shooting you, I would have.
-How could you have done that?
-They don't have the package.
-You think?
-What the fuck happened?
-I don't know...
-Give me a cigarette.
-Right now?
-Gimme a goddamn cigarette!!!!
-I'm not here very much.
-Business keeps you on the road?
-I know I don't need to say this to you, but I need to say it to you. This is my job, I have to do it.
-So I do it.
-No you don't, and you know it.
-If our positions were reversed, would you leave me?
-In a minute.
-Do we need anything else?
-Not here. They might see it.
-Time to quit.
-Just like that?
-Not just like that... Just before I turn around and it's six months from now and the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is light a cigarette.
-What of it? Samurai pain in the ass.
-Would you stop with that...
-Why? You've got more force of will than anyone I've ever seen. You handle a gun like it's a part of you, you perform surgery on yourself without anesthesia... And most amazing of all, you quit smoking, just like that.
-The mark of a true Samurai. What I do for the Company, Vincent, is no different than what you do. We're both hired guns, and this is a job -- like any other job.
-Why then, Sam, don't you act like this is a job like any other? Surely, if you are a hired gun, you realize that some times you just have to walk away without getting what you came for.
-Because I don't walk away.
-Why not?
-It's the one thing I've got left to hold onto. Jean-Pierre is one of your closest friends, is he not?
-Closest and oldest.
-And yet you would have killed him to save my life. You have a sense of honor, Vincent, that I can't even remember anymore. I don't know that I ever even had it to begin with. All I know to do, Vincent, is to finish my job.
-And when you finish? What then? This package, whatever it is, do you give it to the CIA? Do you really think they deserve it?
-That's a good question.
-Do you have a good answer?
-You have to stop doing that!
-Let's get him out of here...
-Finish the job...
-And now...
-You son-of-a-bitch...
-What?
-You speak French.
-What of it?
-"Your field dressing saved his life." That's three I owe you.
-You don't owe me a goddamned thing, Vincent, and you know it. You stepped in front of a bullet for me. I owe you a heavy debt.
-I know.
-You better get some sleep, alright?
-Tell me something first. The package: what was it?
-I don't know. Nobody knows, except a bunch of people who are too dead to tell us. There's probably a couple of guys back at the Company who know, but I don't think they plan to tell me anytime soon.
-What happened to it?
-Gone. Destroyed.
-I told you, I quit.
-What's the story?
-Gaelic.
-You sure?
-Why's that?
-Cause the Russian production company would be easier to find.
-It's the Irish tape we want.
-Last I heard there was a film rep for the Irish players staying at this address, name of Seamus Reilly.
-Why didn't you kill her?
-You slept with her!
-You slept with her!
-You should have kill him when you had the chance. But no...
-You put everything on the line because you...
-My man, how you doing?
-I'm alright. And you?
-Doing well. This is?
-A friend. I was telling him about how you always have the latest tapes.
-I was wondering if you had any movies that were particularly new.
-Do you have the tape?
-What I've heard so far, it's all a lot of talk. I wasn't so sure what to make of it at first, cause, like I said, the Irish and the Russians are an unlikely mix.
-You said you might know where we can get a copy of this tape?
-Can you get it?
-Seamus Reilly, boy's a serious Irish Auteur -- a real firebrand. Thinks his more moderate filmmaking brethren have turned to making movies for peace-loving pussies, if you see what I'm saying.
-Tony and I have to talk some business, first.
-I gotta try and overcharge him, he has to moan about the price, we settle somewhere in the middle.
-Sort of!
-What the hell happened here?
-I'd like to know what they were doing in my town! Did you get ID off any of them?
-Damn.
-Whatsamatter with you? Aren't you concerned about all of this?
-I should kill you right here! I never thought you'd do this to me but I guess there's a lot I didn't know about you!
-Dwayne listen to me -
-Shut up! Not another word out of you! You're going down, the Feds know all about it! You didn't know some of it was marked, did you! Where's the rest?
-I don't know what you're -
-Ready to roll, partner?
-Don't spend it all in one place.
-How old is Otis anyhow, thirty?
-Thanks for the loan, man. I'll have it in a few days, I promise.
-Well I hope so. That pretty much cleaned me out.
-I would have asked my sister, but its better to leave family out, always leads to trouble.
-Yeah...I remember my brother-in-law Gary, the wheel watcher. He finally got on the show and won seven thousand dollars! Plus some leather furniture. Do you think I saw any of that? His excuse was the government got it all.
-Seven thousand...
-He would have won more but he blew it at the end. Didn't know what Cash and Carry was.
-Cash and what?
-Cash and Carry, you know, FDR, World War two...
-Never heard of it.
-Oh, you would have done great.
-I probably would have. I guess the clues damn near before everyone.
-What the hell...
-Ten thousand right here.
-There must be over a million dollars in here.
-What are we going to do?
-What do you mean what are we going to do?
-Call it in I guess. Why?
-No. We can't.
-Look around you partner! You said yourself you never saw anything like it.
-We don't know whose money it is! They might have robbed a bank, who knows?
-Robbed a bank, c'mon! Don't you think we would have heard if one, two -- shit I don't know how many were at large! Don't you think there would be a bulletin? This is a big ass drug deal!
-We don't know that.
-Come on Booth! Look at these scumbags around us. Who's going to know what happened! Let's take it and get out of here!
-Well someone's gonna find them.
-It won't work.
-Why?
-I told Trudy we were coming down this way, that's why!
-We would never have to worry about money -- ever again, Jesus!
-Suppose someone knows about the money? They're bound to ask questions.
-Who's going to question us? Dwayne? Jesse?
-It's going to go bigger than that. Could you stare someone straight in the face and lie about it?
-I'll worry about that when it happens and if it happens, and it's not gonna happen!
-What makes you so sure?
-It's no accident we stumbled on this money. It's an answer to a prayer! Every night and every day I've prayed that God would just -- help me out a little, give me a little push. Tonight my prayer came true.
-Oh so God's like Western Union and he just dropped us a couple million bucks?
-That's right!
-At the expense of six people.
-All right hold on! Lemme think... Shit, did you touch the car?
-I do. It's little shit like that sends people to jail! We have to cover all the bases if we're going to pull this!
-We'll torch the bases, how's that?
-We'll leave a few packets in the trunk, and stash the rest somewhere else. Car went up in the gunfight.
-I've got one condition.
-We're going to be patient. If we start flashing money around, buying fancy cars and fancy clothes, people are going to ask questions.
-Shhh!
-What are you gonna do?
-I don't know! Son of a bitch! Who the hell are you?
-How long you been lying there playing possum with us, huh? Answer me!
-I'm not letting some gangbanger send me to jail. We can't risk it.
-I don't know...
-You're thinking about killing him. I can't do that. No way. I've never killed a man. Never even shot at one...
-Well neither have I, but it's us or him. If he talks, or writes a note, or whatever, he's gonna turn us in. Besides, he's a low life scumbag. His kind is hardly even human anyway.
-I...I can't do that.
-Okay then. I'll do it.
-That's not what I mean.
-I tell you it was a miracle the way things turned out --
-I don't want to hear about miracles and God and all that! We tried to murder someone to cover our asses!
-Look. Dwayne was right. This is going to be a big story. So big in fact that I don't want to even have this money around.
-Fair enough, I'll take it to my place.
-We're dead. We're dead, We are dead... What are we going to do?!
-I don't know...
-I don't know you want me to put on my cape and fly there?! We're going to play it cool... besides there might be nothing on that tape anyway...
-That guy was a Federal agent. An officer of the law, just like us.
-Well, we didn't know that at the time.
-We assaulted a Federal agent. We killed him.
-No we didn't. He died on his own.
-We gotta turn ourselves in, before they hear the tape.
-Are you nuts? They'll fry us for sure. There's no way we're doin' that, you understand? No way.
-It's the right thing to do.
-I should have known something like this was going to happen!
-How long you been lying there playing possum with us, huh? Answer me!
-Shit! We're gonna have to get rid of him. I'm not letting some gangbanger ruin my life. We can't risk it.
-What are you thinking?
-You're thinking about killing him. I can't do that. No way. I've never killed a man. Never even shot at one.
-Well neither have I, but it's us or him. If he talks, or writes a note or whatever, he's gonna turn us in. Besides, he's just a low life scumbag. His kind is hardly even human anyway.
-I can't do that.
-That's not what I mean.
-Listen. Do you want to go to jail? Taking evidence, tampering with a crime scene. You know what they'd do.
-He would have done it to us, right?
-I could kill that no good son of a bitch!
-All right enough! I'm tired of thinking about all this!
-Well I'm not! Thinks he's got us by the balls.
-...Or get rid of the money. I don't know.
-I've got a better idea. All we have to do is straighten out Jesse.
-And how do you figure we do that?
-All we have to do is get our hands on the original tape. We'll set him up somehow.
-He's probably made copies. He's not going to give them up to us.
-He's going to be trouble.
-We had a deal! What was I, talking to the wall?
-You said that last time!
-You're out of your mind.
-You think he's bluffing?
-No.
-Look, Earl. We gotta go straight. This is all messed up...
-If you're any friend at all, you'll stop talking like that!
-Maybe we can reason with Jesse, give him a third in exchange for the tape.
-I don't think he's going to be doing any bargaining with us, the stupid son-of-a-bitch! Besides, I'm not giving him a third of anything, not after everything we had to do.
-Well what are we supposed to do?
-You're crazy.
-How badly do you want that money?! How bad do you want to stay out of jail?
-Not bad enough to kill him.
-How long is it going to take?!
-What are you thinking? We were only supposed to scare him!
-Here it is.
-Even if we have the tape, that wouldn't shut him up!
-You killed him...
-It's gonna be o.k.
-Jesus Christ Earl...what are we doing?...
-We're doing what we gotta do, to protect ourselves!
-You don't know if he was really gonna --
-Maybe we should say somethin'.
-Come on. Booth grabs the bag --
-Do you have everything?
-I don't know for sure, but why else would they head for the bank?
-It was all used. Random numbers. How can they trace it?
-I don't know. They got all kinds of high-tech shit nowadays.
-Then we're screwed.
-We're not? How do you figure that?
-We'll take the money and disappear! We can do it, spend it on the move. Even if all of it's marked, there's ways around it.
-We've got to go now, then.
-That's right.
-Oh Jesus...
-He killed her...he killed her...
-What happened? What's Earl doing here?
-He found us, he shot her...he killed her...
-Booth, listen to me...Booth!
-We got to get out of here. Do you understand? We got to get out of here right now!
-No. It stops now. It stops here.
-Dwayne's dead.
-What are you talking about?
-It's too late...
-It's NOT too late!
-You're the one who's nuts! There's no one left to touch us, Booth. We're home free! We just plant a little of the money on Dwayne, and it's all ours.
-Just one more. This one knocks off all the rest.
-That'll bring me down, too. Eventually. You gotta know that.
-Uh huh.
-And you're solid on that?
-You gentlemen look like you're about to toss your collective cookies.
-Why don't you get to the point.
-Listen Earl. I covered for you. For both of you. I put my ass on the line to save yours, so don't pull a hostile tone with me!
-What's your offer, Jesse?
-Besides, I'm not stupid, Earl. The tape was a basic Maxell D-80. You can buy 'em at any store. There's no way they can pin anything on me.
-All right, Jesse, we'll play it your way, under one condition.
-I'm all ears.
-Well, I don't know...
-Ok...I'll wait. For now. But I'm going to need a little advance, to oil the wheels, so to speak.
-How much?
-I understand your logic, Booth, but I don't think...two thousand's going to raise any eyebrows, do you?
-Two thousand...
-There's going to have to be a change in our arrangement.
-What are you proposing?
-I don't like getting grilled by that DEA bitch, I don't like taking that kind of heat!
-None of us like it!
-Well I don't know what's going to happen next -- she's pressing this, another interrogation, another problem.
-Just take it in stride.
-I was beginning to think you weren't going to show. That can't be all of it.
-You don't expect us to believe that do you?
-Come on, Booth. Don't let him do this!!!
-Don't have much choice, Jesse. You saw to that!
-You're only screwing yourselves over! Helllllp! HELLLLLP! SOMEBODY!!!
-Shut up, Jesse.
-Whoa, Earl!
-OKAY! IT'S UNDER MY DESK!! TAPED TO THE BOTTOM SIDE!!!
-How are ya?
-Thank you. Now, do you remember seeing any vehicles traveling near the site, on your way to or from?
-No. Why?
-Could it have been in the Mercedes?
-Normally we would have tracked him with a wiretap, but it was standard for him to occasionally drop out when working with these guys. The last we heard from him was two days ago.
-You mean that guy was an agent?
-Well, we have one lead and that's what I'm looking into next.
-What's that?
-Yeah? So?
-I have to go to the bank before it closes.
-What for?
-There's an ATM on Speedwell Avenue.
-Well, not that I wouldn't sugar bun but Earl's in a bind. They're going to take his car.
-Ah hell, he'd do the same for me.
-Has he?
-Get a room in a nice hotel for a few hours...
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Yeah.
-It was all over the local news. Dwayne was there, acting all official.
-What's wrong?
-Nothing.
-Nothing's wrong.
-Oh. You coming by tonight?
-OK.
-Are you sure you're OK?
-Yeah I'm fine.
-I'm just tired is all. I'll see you tonight OK baby?
-OK. I love you.
-Sally? I was beginning to think he wasn't gonna leave.
-You got me something? What's the occasion?
-What happened to your cheek? SALLY Oh I...nothing...
-Nothing happened?
-Like hell it's over. You told me he wasn't doing this anymore.
-He's not, he's...
-That son of a bitch.
-Let's not get into this again. I know him. If you said something, he'd take it out on me.
-And I'd take it out on him.
-And I'd end up a widow in two ways. Let's forget it. I'll just be a little more careful next time.
-You're worth every last penny.
-I told him I bought the lingerie, as a surprise. I don't think he suspects anything, but now you know, if he mentions it.
-How the hell did he find it?
-He started digging through my closet, something he never does.
-Great...
-It's OK, Booth, it's no big deal.
-Let's hope so. SALLY If he asks me again, I'm gonna tell him I returned it all.
-Dammit, I'm so sick of this.
-I know.
-Every night I think about you sleeping with him, him slobbering all over you.
-He doesn't slobber, he just snores. And I told you we haven't...done anything in over a year.
-It doesn't matter...he's next to you. You know, I always say to myself, you should have left him years ago. Why didn't you?
-Let's just get out of here, get out of this -- place. We'll drop out, get a house have some kids, get a satellite dish...
-I hate it when you talk like this. Go on.
-We'd... I don't know...go to California, New York, maybe a house on a Swiss mountainside...
-So do I.
-I love you Sally.
-A satellite dish?
-How are we going to do all this?
-I'm going to quit. That's what has to happen first. Then we're going to tell him.
-I don't know, Booth.
-When do you expect this inheritance stuff to be straightened out?
-Shouldn't be long. A couple of weeks maybe.
-Can you rely on how much they said you'd get?
-Why does that bother you?
-I'm not sure why. It's just, I've never been anywhere else...
-Sally there's a whole world out there. We can have a new home. A real home, not some tin-plated dump. What are you giving up?
-I don't know. My friends...
-We'll meet new people. You might have friends out there you never met.
-Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just...all so sudden...
-Do you wanna tell me what that was all about?
-Things just got a little screwed up, that's all.
-I don't believe it.
-Sally, do you love me?
-Yeah, I've seen him.
-What did he buy?
-I don't remember. We get a lot of people in here.
-Be more specific. A month, a week...
-A week ago, at most.
-Test the product?
-Yeah.
-Business is business. Now where the hell is it? I wanna get out of here. That's the plan, we're just flunkies, you know what I'm saying?
-You didn't answer my question. Are you saying my word is of no value to you?
-I have a better plan. You want to hear it?
-What?
-And what's that?
-How about you give us what you have and leave.
-What?
-What is this? Don't be stupid man...
-All right, deputies, take care, don't let your meat loaf.
-Don't worry the real men are in charge now.
-Why?
-What makes you say that?
-I don't know.
-What do you think about all this?
-I guess we can get started.
-He kept a recording of all such transactions in order to keep track of who's who, what was said, what's happening. I contacted your local coroner, and he found it taped to his back.
-That's news to me. So it's over at Jesse's office?
-Yeah. I told him I'd be there before five.
-Well nothing audible to us. Maybe the lab can pick something up.
-Well we'd like to help you in any way we can. We're all in this together, as law enforcement officers.
-Uh, no...
-Maybe. Maybe not.
-What are you getting at?
-Well, unfortunately Denning's not here to tell us, but I would say someone got their hands on that tape and switched it.
-Why would someone do that?
-Oh that was Agent Wallace. We're going to check into something.
-Don't you have to be here?
-Hell no. besides I'm just a radio call away if something happens. I feel I should keep abreast of what happens, seeing it's my jurisdiction and all.
-We don't know. Whoever got this payload together has one hell of a laundering system.
-Have you known this all along?
-Well you can understand why we didn't say anything. If word got out that we had a track on the money it would only work against us.
-Sheriff Hogan --
-Dwayne.
-Dwayne... It is imperative that we keep this confidential. Now we know someone's out there. Very close. It may even be the son of a bitch that killed my partner.
-OK...this is good. Our first solid lead.
-Mr. Curtis called us this afternoon. The bills arrived at this branch from a cash drop. Came through a store called After Midnight. There's only four employees, none of them can tell us who passed them.
-Some of it. Denning only handled a small portion of the total, but it looks like this was one of his bills.
-Yeah.
-What the hell is that, some kind of porno store or something?
-Not exactly. It's some lingerie store on the strip.
-Lingerie...
-Yeah, racy stuff, you know the kind, right?
-Hello.
-Anything I can help you with?
-I have an anniversary coming up, thought I'd buy her something special.
-Anything...specific?
-Sixty five... Jeez Louise!
-Yeah, she is. She comes up to about here on me.
-Hmmm...
-I don't suppose you've seen her.
-Have I seen her?
-Shopping here?
-No, I can't say that I have.
-Let's see...do you know her cup size?
-Uh...C?
-C?
-Yeah I'd say C...C.
-Do you know...34 C? 32 C?
-Well...I should have done a little homework, getting all the sizes, and what not.
-Sure.
-I'm just not very good...with all of this stuff.
-Oh, that's ok, a lot of men feel uncomfortable when they come in here.
-A lot of men come in here?
-Just goes to show you.
-Damn it’s hot in here...
-Very clumsy, very clumsy. I’d have found it in a minute.
-All right you’re the super sleuth, what do you want, a medal?
-No. But what I would like is the forty dollars you owe me, and I’m a busy man.
-Aw, now that’s gonna take time to clear!
-Do you even have a girlfriend, Jesse?
-She's not his type.
-Jesse?
-I'm at a payphone in Vegas. What's up?
-Vegas! Can you hightail it back here by three o'clock?
-Why?
-Well, we got the DEA coming down here again, I don't know, sounds to me like they got some more questions they want to ask us.
-About what?
-Well they really didn't go into any details on the phone, but they did ask for you, and I figure we should try to help them out as best we can.
-Uh, sure. I hear you.
-So be here at three.
-I'll do my best...that doesn't give me much time.
-I have complete faith in you. But don't you go speeding.
-Nice of you to join us. I did say three o'clock, didn't I?
-Something wrong, Jesse?
-No. Something wrong with you Dwayne?
-You walked in here looking like you just ate a shit sandwich.
-What's this?
-Hey where's the hot pad?
-What?
-Where's the hot back -- the therapeutic pad thing?
-I can't hear a word you're saying!
-It was going to be a surprise!
-What are you saying?
-I'm saying you're about as romantic as a bag of sand.
-Nothing. Nothing's the matter. SALLY Aren't you going to tell how your day went?
-Not much to tell. Nothing really happened.
-Suppose I'm not exciting enough for you.
-I didn't say that. You did.
-Well you might as well say it. Mister Small Time...
-Don't you want to hear about my day?
-Yeah let's hear about your day.
-Whatever...
-No, Dwayne, you go ahead and relax, have a six pack and fall asleep in front of the TV, and come upstairs and pass out. And do it all over again tomorrow!
-Save me the sermon. I've heard it all before, it's boring.
-You shut your mouth you son of a bitch!
-Dwayne put the gun down --
-You'd do this to me?!
-Dwayne -
-Dwayne please calm down!
-Hey we're all friends, right? Friends don't squeal on friends, that's not what Jesse Segundo is all about.
-I'll settle for a third of that.
-And if we refuse? Your tampering with evidence isn't exactly a misdemeanor, did you ever consider that?
-We're out of here.
-Meet me at the Tumbleweed Diner.
-What?
-I'm not asking.
-Well you're not getting, either.
-What do you mean? You gambled it?
-I was on a roll! I’m a little overextended now.
-Oh Jesus Christ...
-So I want the money and I want it now.
-You want to see how more unglued I can get? Try me.
-You're never getting that much.
-What the hell are you doing, you crazy some bitches --
-I don't suppose you'll tell us where the tape is.
-Don't hurt me.
-Easy to purchase, hard to detect. Too much potassium can kill a man. Just have to...pick a discreet spot.
-Hi ma.
-I didn't know you were coming.
-I was in the neighborhood.
-Is that the mail?
-How's work?
-People have been asking me about that story in the paper. I told them you were the first person on the scene. They were asking me for all the details.
-It was pretty gory ma, let me tell you. But you have to turn all that off, and do your job, just like pop used to say.
-Did they ever find out who they were?
-Nope. If you're a criminal you don't carry ID, and if you do you're a damn fool.
-I tell you this world just keeps getting more and more violent.
-At least around here it does.
-Are you hungry?
-Yeah sure I'll grab something before I go... Hey -- I've got a surprise.
-There was this raffle going on at the station, some charity or church was running it, I forget, so I figure what the hell put in my five bucks...
-And what happened?
-Well what do you know! An air conditioner.
-And not just any air conditioner. This baby sells for over six hundred dollars retail.
-That's great Earl!
-This whole place?
-Don't you want it?
-Ah, hell I'll get one soon enough. Besides, I want you to have it.
-Well I don't know --
-Thank you honey. are you sure you don't want it?
-You want to hear the good news first, or the bad news?
-Give me the bad news.
-We retrieved a few things from the trunk, including a steamer trunk, or the remnants of a trunk, the brass clips and so forth.
-Anything in it?
-But nowhere near three million dollars worth. I would say maybe twenty thousand.
-There was more than that.
-Not in the trunk.
-That doesn't tell us much. Did you run a check on the gas like I told you?
-Yeah, we did. It was unleaded, high octane.
-That fire was set. Deliberately. And probably not by anyone found at the scene.
-So someone did get away.
-I don't know how else you'd explain it. The coroner's estimated time of death for everyone there was long before this fire started, unless of course Denning started it, and that doesn't make much sense.
-No, it doesn't. Neither does his blank tape. Any news on that?
-He didn't make it into work, and he's not home.
-I knew it, I knew it all along - shit!
-You think he skipped town?
-Yeah.
-This isn't right...
-I'm not getting an answer.
-Is it true, Carter? Are you in Hong Kong right now?
-Hong Kong? I'm not in Hong Kong. I'm in Hollywood -- right at Sunset and Vine, two minutes from the station. How about I pick you up right now and take you to dinner?
-It's nine-thirty in the morning.
-Did I say dinner? I meant diner. Biscuits and gravy, you love that shit.
-Do you know what happened yesterday, Carter? I was officially nominated for the Commissioner's post for the LAPD. There was a dinner last night, two hundred LAPD officers were there.
-Two hundred cops? Was Mario Sanchez there? He owes me money.
-I've waited my whole life for this job, but I don't have a shot in hell of getting it. Do you know why?
-Is it because of the hookers, sir? You tell them there's no crime in being lonely.
\ No newline at end of file
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-No, Carter. The reason I'm screwed is because the entire department is about to find out the stolen credit cards we impounded were used to buy two first class upgrades to Hong Kong. And what the hell is Heaven on Earth?
-What the hell is that?
-Those are five hundred dollar chips.
-Did you give me five-hundred dollar chips because I'm black?
-No, I just assumed...
-You assumed a brother coming in here can only afford five-hundred dollars a roll, is that right? Are you a racist?
-No, sir.
-Winner six!
-How much is that?
-Two-hundred thousand!
-Winner! Four, winner!
-Invitation, please.
-I'm with the band. I'm the lead singer.
-The band has been playing over an hour.
-Wait.
-Last party all he wanted was Sting -- not one person danced. Tonight I'm doing Superfreak, I don't care what he says. Where is he?
-Hear you got your ass kicked in Hong Kong, James.
-What?? Where'd you hear that?
-I got my sources.
-And I got mine, meaning you. Nice how that works out. I'm serious this time, I'm closing this place down.
-James, you see my kids back there? You know how much I'm paying for private school? How can you come in here with this attitude, you being little Chang's godfather?
-Little Chang is gonna have to go visit his daddy in jail if you don't cooperate.
-Jail!? James, you better back off. Badge or no badge, I'll kick your ass.
-Look, I need some info and I don't have time to play around.
-Is this about the funny money?
-How'd you know?
-You've been asking loud questions in all the wrong places all morning. How come you always save me for last, James? When are you gonna learn. Shit don't happen I don't know about.
-So tell me what you know.
-I know Teddy Wu is cranking out a pretty good double sawbuck -- but you knew that too, didn't you?
-What?
-I knew it. The guy's name is Zing. He works at the kitchen at Reign Plaza.
-How you doing, baby? My name is Prince Mubutu from Nigeria.
-Isabella Molina, from San Juan. That seat is taken.
-San Juan! You must know my good friend Pedro Martinez Hernandez Hector Elizondo.
-I don't think so.
-I'm sorry, you looked like you traveled in the best circles. But hey, I understand. Make yourself at home, Isabella. Champagne, caviar, whatever you want. My ship is your ship.
-This is your ship?
-That's right. I'm the owner, the Captain -- you can call me El Capitan.
-El Capitan?
-I don't want to play games with you, Isabella. I like you. I can see myself with you -- in one of those bathrooms over there in about five minutes.
-Well, I'm very tempted. It's such a beautiful yacht. What's it called?
-Called? What's my ship called? Well...it's called the S.S. Minnow Johnson.
-The S.S. Minow Johnson. Funny, the name on the back was "Red Dragon."
-Red Dragon? You sure about that?
-I'm sure, because this is my friend's yacht. And it's his party.
-You see, no bomb. Now stay away before I throw you both in jail for obstruction.
-Throw us in jail? I'm about to bust you right now.
-I'm an undercover agent for the United States Secret Service.
-Yeah, that's right.
-We need to get out of sight. Come down to my suite.
-Look, I've been working this case for months now...
-So what's your story?
-It's a myth. Some kind of counterfeit.
-It's much more than a counterfeit. 14 out of 15 world banks can't tell the difference. The paper is Crane linen blend -- and the bills are printed on U.S. Intaglio presses.
-How're they getting into the U.S. Mint to use the presses?
-They use an optical transfer ink from India that burns red -- the real ink burns black.
-What the hell are they going to do with a hundred million dollars in funny money?
-I'm busy at the moment.
-I said get on your feet!
-I know you, Detective Carter, right? You're Lee's American friend. Enjoying your visit?
-Let's go. I've got girls and chicken and hot oil waiting for me.
-I'd like to pay you for that laptop.
-It's no problem. But I must excuse myself, inspector.
-Could you have your partner wait for us outside?
-Would you like me to tell you how your father died?
-Do you have it in you, Lee? Or are you gonna spend the rest of your life hiding like your father?
-Oh, you American?
-That's right.
-You bring American money?
-You get massage from Chinese girl before?
-No. It's my first time.
-Any girl? Okay. Let's start with that one.
-Oh yes, she's very nice.
-Wait a second. You're Steven Reign? You're big time. You own all them big hotels. What are you doing in Hong Kong?
-Stevie, how's it going my man? Somebody get a picture, we can use it for a mug shot.
-Detective Carter, you always seem to show up where you don't belong.
-Lemme ask you something, Steven. And I want the truth. Is there any way I can date your daughter? Just dinner and a movie, maybe go listen to some jazz...
-Vegas has been my town for 30 years. I crawled out from under the first rock. Do you really think you can intimidate me here?
-You're right, you're a smart guy. Most counterfeiters only get ten cents on the dollar. But this is an even swap. Pure genius.
-I warned you about playing that shit when I'm in the car.
-That was my CD. Don't you ever touch a Chinese man's CD.
-Did you see the way those girls drove off? I did you a favor.
-Those girls drove off because of you.
-All I did was invite them for a drink.
-You invited them to get naked and sacrifice a small goat.
-You owe me a copy of the Beach Boys Greatest Hits, Volume Two.
-Don't be giving me attitude, Lee. I've been here three days and we haven't done shit. We haven't been to a club, haven't even talked to a girl. I'm on vacation, and I want some mu-shu.
-Mu-shu? You're hungry?
-Of course not. My Superindendent invited us to a club tonight. Big party.
-Don't be messing with me, Lee. I will kick your ass. I'll hit you so hard you'll end up in the Ming Dynasty.
-That's what I'm talking about. A real Hong Kong night club. You want an Altoid?
-No.
-Just relax and don't worry about a thing. I'll hook you up in there. You got condoms?
-No.
-I'll meet you at the bar in ten minutes. They don't like tourists in here, so try to blend in.
-Blend in? I'm two feet taller than everyone here. Where you going?
-Carter, get off that stage!
-This is a gangster bar, we're here undercover.
-I knew you were lying.
-I'm sorry.
-Damn it, why are you ruining my night? I'm just starting to have fun. Well fine then, go ahead, pull your badge and do your thing.
-No, we're here for information, to find out where a man named Ricky Tan is. We must tread softly and keep our ears open.
-Tread softly? Who taught you how to roost a bar?
-Carter, you don't understand. These men are Fu-Cang-Long Triads. Part of the most deadly gang in China.
-Man, are you crazy? You think that scares me? I'm from L.A. We invented gangs. We were having gang wars before anybody even thought about it. We get royalties from other gangs. Now gimme your badge and gun and I'll show you how it's done.
-No. You are a civilian. In China, I am Michael Jackson, and you are Toto.
-What'd I say?
-You just said you're their worst nightmare - and to line their mothers up for a milking.
-All I wanted was a little mu-shu.
-You lied to me.
-I'm sorry.
-You're sorry. I got somebody's old chopsticks stuck in my ass, so don't tell me you're sorry. Just take me home.
-I'm telling you right now, I'm tired of this shit. There's two billion Chinese - let one of them be your partner.
-And that's how you use the LAPD choke hold. Now start practicing and don't make me come back here!
-Just follow my lead and act like a tourist.
-Hello.
-How you doin'?
-What are you doing?
-She said I could pick any girl I want.
-Well, hurry up.
-What's wrong?
-Over there -- that's Ricky Tan.
-That's Ricky Tan? He's four feet tall. I'll go over with you right now, shake him down.
-This is a very dangerous man.
-I'm a dangerous man. You're not gonna ruin my massage because of some midget in a house coat.
-Goddamn you got a small ass.
-Where are you going?
-Back to Heaven on Earth. I need my damn passport back. I'm going home.
-Fine. Go home. Who needs you.
-Why you mad at me? You needed back-up, so I backed you up. I was about to take out Ricky Tan and those bodyguards.
-Stop! I'm sick of your bullshit!
-My bullshit? I'm not the one who goes to a karaoke bar filled with gangsters! I'm not the one who goes to massage parlors to bust crime lords!
-It's my job!
-You're pathetic, man. When's the last time you had some fun? When's the last time you took a night off, had a date?
-I have plenty of dates.
-Really? When's the last time you had some Mu-shu Let's hear it, Lee, when was it? Year of the rat?
-You would never understand my life. You're not Chinese.
-Carter?
-Who died?
-You.
-Detective Yu? Never met him.
-Not Yu. You!
-Who?
-Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
-What, leave you alone so he can cap you?
-I'm okay, you go.
-Why the hell should you believe him? He had us beat up. Naked. That's nasty shit.
-Remember I told you my father was a policeman? Ricky Tan was his partner for ten years.
-What are you gonna do about it, grasshopper?
-I'll bitch slap you into Bangkok.
-Give me your best shot, you flat assed mama's boy.
-Don't be talking about my mama. Or my ass!
-I heard your mama pulls a rickshaw.
-No. She's a school teacher.
-You're not very good at this, are you?
-Good at what?
-Five years ago, my father was Chief Inspector working a big international smuggling case.
-He found out his partner, Tan, had been working for the Triads all along. Before my father could prove it, he was killed in the line of duty.
-How the hell did Tan get away with it?
-All the evidence against him disappeared, the smuggling case was unsolved. Tan resigned and went over to the Triads openly.
-No, no, that would be crazy --
-You thought the "Customs Agents get blown up" and "smuggling" and "Ricky Tan" and you put it all together and came up with a five year old case. That's why you didn't tell me what we were doing...
-I thought you'd think it was crazy.
-IT IS CRAZY!
-So are you getting on the plane or not?!
-What?
-Come on, we still got time to order the Kosher meal. Always get the kosher meal, they bring it first.
-It sounds impossible --
-You said --
-You want to figure out why they killed your Daddy, get on the plane.
-Why LA?
-I should go back. Ricky Tan mentioned a boat in Hong Kong Harbor...
-Lee, let me introduce you to the Carter Theory of Criminal Investigation: Follow the Rich White Man.
-Follow the Rich White Man?
-Almost, but you've got to say "Rich White Man" all run together like it's one word.
-Follow the RichWhiteMan...
-Not bad. Now every crime, somewhere, has a rich white man taking his cut. Every single one. Now in our case, we know the rich white man is Steven Reign.
-Who?
-Big hotel billionaire. He was on Ricky Tan's boat ordering Hu Li around just before Ricky got smoked.
-How do you know he's our man?
-Because when the shooting started he was way too cool. See most white people, when there's shooting, they either hide in a toilet or start screaming high pitched like "Aaaahhh!!! Aaaahh!!!!
-You sound like that all the time.
-Black people keep their cool when the shit goes down.
-Maybe. But not like Asians. We never panic.
-Yeah, what about when Godzilla was coming? You people were screaming your asses off.
-Just tell me where I can find this Steven Reign.
-Yeah, that's definitely the woman from Ricky Tan's boat, and she's staying in his suite at his hotel, I told you this would work out. They still just talking?
-He just left. Kissed her on the cheek.
-He'll be back soon.
-How do you know?
-Carter, there's something I have to tell you. You were right about what you said in Hong Kong. All I do is work. Never take a day off. It's all I have right now.
-Hey, I didn't mean to call you pathetic.
-The truth is, I haven't had any mu-shu in six months.
-You pull a muscle or something?
-My fiancee left me over the summer -- a month before our wedding.
-I'm sorry, Lee. Why did she leave you?
-It's a long story.
-Let me guess, she couldn't handle the cop thing -- never knowing if you were dead or alive. I've seen it a million times.
-No. It was my singing.
-Excuse me?
-She's just standing around -- not doing much.
-Just don't fall asleep. Sooner or later something's gonna happen.
-Slow down, baby.
-What did you say?
-Is it hot in here?
-Hot? I'm freezing my ass off.
-I'm gonna go in the hall and get a bucket of ice. You want some ice?
-She's getting undressed.
-Gimme the binoculars.
-No. It's not right.
-What's she doing?
-Oh, sweet glory hallelujah...
-I don't want to hear this.
-Skirt just came off. She's in black bra and panties -- Victoria Secret Spring Catalogue, page 27 -- wait a sec - there's a tattoo on her left thigh... it looks like Snoopy.
-Snoopy? I love Snoopy.
-Wait a sec - what the hell is that between her legs?
-What?
-She's reaching into her panties -- something is strapped to her leg. Oh, God...please don't let it be a dick.
-What is it?
-I don't understand?
-Pick it up!
-It's your turn!
-Wait! There's people down there!
-There's people up here!
-Get it out of here!
-I wouldn't do that!!!
-Let me see it again?
-Secret Service Agent Carter. This is my calling, Lee. Give me six months and I'll be in Washington protecting a white guy.
-We both know you would never take a bullet for someone else.
-They don't know that. What are they gonna do, try and shoot the President during the interview? I'll bet Isabella can pull some strings. You saw the way she was staring at me.
-She never even looked at you.
-You're just jealous 'cos the girl picked me. I'm tall, dark and handsome, you're third world ugly.
-I am not third world ugly. Women like me, they think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
-Are you okay?
-What's the first thing I told you -- never trust nobody. How could you fall for that shit? I knew she was dirty.
-She saved our lives.
-Look, man I'm sorry. I know you got a thing for her.
-Shhh, my head hurts.
-I'm about to be killed and you "Shhh" me! This wasn't my case, Lee. Ricky Tan didn't kill my father, the Fu-Cang Long are not in South Central. I didn't have to help you.
-Why did you help me?
-I'm not used to having a partner.
-We are not partners. Between your daddy, my daddy, and the beating I just took, as far as I can tell all partners get you is dead.
-Well we're not friends.
-You got that right. And we ain't brothers. Maybe we should just end this right here.
-Fine with me.
-I won't talk to you, you don't talk to me. We'll die in peace.
-See you in the next world.
-I don't believe in reincarnation. So I won't see you in the next world.
-Fine.
-I believe in heaven. You people believe in heaven?
-Yes. We have heaven.
-Is it the same heaven, or is it a Chinese heaven?
-What's a Chinese heaven?
-I thought it might be like those five foot and under basketball leagues. They don't let everybody in.
-I think we should stop talking.
-Fine by me.
-You thinking about that girl that dumped you?
-No.
-If she was the right girl, you'd be thinking about her.
-Mind your own business.
-How was the sex?
-There was no sex. She was very traditional. We were waiting until we were married.
-You're kidding. No sex? Nothing? No mu-shu?
-No mu-shu.
-What about a little king pao chicken?
-No kung pao chicken. Never.
-Steamed dumplings?
-Once in a while, steamed dumplings. But only when she was drunk.
-That's rough, man. If I don't get steamed dumplings once a week, I go crazy.
-Tell me the truth, Carter. Do you think I have a good voice?
-Are you serious?
-As long as you're asking...I think you have a pretty good voice.
-I knew it. What does she know. You want me to sing something?
-That depends. How do the Fu-Cang-Long usually kill their victims?
-They'll probably torture us first, shock our privates, then put two bullets in our eyes and one in the back of the head.
-Very nice.
-It's focus. Every opponent has a weak spot. You ignore everything around you, and put all your energy into one perfect strike.
-Hello, Benjamin.
-Who's Benjamin?
-Benjamin Franklin, he discovered electricity.
-A Chinese man discovered electricity.
-No Chinese man discovered electricity.
-Yes he did. He also invented the bicycle.
-We're slowing down. This must be it.
-End of the line.
-You've been a good friend, James Carter.
-Oh no you don't. Don't you be getting corny on me, Lee. I'll kick your ass from here to Compton.
-You could never kick my ass. You mama's boy.
-Vegas...
-Red Dragon.
-Let's go.
-Wait a second. We can't go in like this. Look at this place, we gotta look fly. We gotta Mac out.
-What is Mac out?
-Couple? No, you got it wrong, there's no couple here. Just two single police officers working a very dangerous case.
-That looks exactly like my Uncle Darrell.
-Buddha is the symbol of luck and good fortune.
-Carter...here comes the rich white man.
-Lee, what the hell are you doing?
-Dancing?
-Dancing? I'm out here trying to strong arm Steven Reign, putting my life on the line, and you're up here dancing with some bimbo. Did she have a friend?
-Isabella? Are you crazy, man? She almost got us killed. She's setting you up again!
-No. I'm going to find out.
-I'll go to the craps table, make a big scene. When security comes over, you make your move.
-Try to keep them busy for five minutes.
-Lee!
-Why didn't you tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?
-I did!
-No you didn't!
-Ricky Tan is alive.
-What?!?!
-You go after Ricky. I got this.
-Carter...
-Lee, wait a second. It's not worth it, man. He's making you do this.
-We made it, man.
-I saw that. She kissed you, didn't she? You played it cool, though. Walking away, never looking back.
-That your gate down there?
-Yes.
-I'm this way. I guess this is goodbye.
-I guess so. Thank you, Carter.
-Your father's badge? No way, man. I can't take this.
-What is this?
-About fifty grand. I won it at the tables.
-No, Carter. I can't take this.
-They owe us, man. That's the least they can do.
-This money is evidence.
-I always wanted to go to Madison Square Garden. See the Knicks play.
-New York City?
-First class.
-The Plaza Hotel?
-A little Mu-shu.
-I could use a little vacation.
-Quite a night, Inspector. Ricky Tan was our only bait, and now he's gone. You finally got your revenge - at the expense of a U.S. Government investigation.
-What "revenge" is he talking about?
-I don't know if the Fu-Cang-Long paid you to get rid of Tan, or whether it was a pure vendetta killing -- but you're off this case. I don't ever want to see you again, you got that?
-Hey, you, Secret Service Man, what are you --
-Stay out of it, Carter. You're going back to L.A.
-I know who you are, Inspector Lee.
-Is this a payoff?
-It wasn't hard to spot the fakes until this past year. Then Tan got hold of one of a kind Swiss made hundred dollar plates -- and started making superbills.
-And Hu Li killed him for the plates.
-Put your arms around me.
-What's going on?
-I need your help.
-Last time you needed my help I ended up in the back of a truck.
-You move well.
-Just trying to make it look real.
-Behind me is the soft count room. We're pretty sure the plates are back there.
-Why don't you go get them?
-The Secret Service almost busted Reign at his casino in Macao, but the place burned down before we could move in.
-How do I know I can trust you?
-I'm asking for real now -- will you help the Secret Service?
-Are you okay?
-I didn't know which side you were on.
-Master Ching taught me.
-The Praying Mantis school, in Bejing?
-What are you doing hanging out with Baby Duck?
-Baby Duck?
-Do you still have the bills?
-Lee, there was a bombing at the American Embassy. Two American translators were killed.
-Any leads?
-We think it's Ricky Tan. If you don't want to take the case, I'll understand.
-Lee, this is Special Agent Sterling from the United States Secret Service.
-All he wanted was some mu-shu.
-Lee, we just got a call from the harbor patrol. Ricky Tan is throwing a little party on his boat tonight. Victoria harbor. If you don't want to...
-Did you tell Sterling?
-Let him find out on his own. I want the Hong Kong police handling this.
-Escort Detective Carter to the airport --
-Lee, I've missed you, brother. I heard about the two Americans, I'm so sorry, you must be under great pressure.
-Despite what people suspect...what you suspect --
-... if your father were alive, I would be turning to him now. I didn't blow up the American Embassy, but I believe some of my people did. My enemies are trying to frame me. There is a war going on within the Triads -- and I am going to lose. My name has been written into the book of death.
-The police can protect you.
-Nobody can protect me. I'll make a deal with you, Lee. But only iff you'll get me out of Hong Kong.
-Tell me why they killed the customs agents.
-You're just like your father, Lee. All these years hiding behind his badge. I wanted to help him, to share with him, but he was too afraid of change. When you think about it, I didn't really kill him. I just put him out of his misery.
-Put the plates down. It's over.
-If you reach for that gun, I'm going to kill you.
-Didn't I teach you to always arch your back?
-I need your help, Master. I'm seeking a man who used to train with you. He's become a killer - the worst kind of animal.
-He was the best I ever trained, you know.
-Ricky Tan?
-A seeding spends its entire life reaching towards Heaven.
-I know, Master, but...
-The answers you seek can be found in Heaven on Earth.
-Heaven on Earth? Master, I don't understand. A temple, where Heaven is on Earth? A mountain, where Earth reaches for the --
-Chin, you have been ordered by the Ministry of Public Security to assist the FBI and Secret Service with our investigation, to provide us with whatever we need. If you have information, it belongs to us.
-This is still Hong Kong.
-Two Americans have been killed on United States Government property -- this is our investigation.
-Chief Inspector Lee will brief your people...
-Who the hell is that?
-That is...Chief Inspector Lee. The detective in charge of our investigation.
-You don't move, you understand?! You don't move!
-You know what a phone booth is?!
-Lee! It's him!
-The first drop will be made tomorrow. At twelve o'clock. The amount will be fifty million.
-Fifty million! Are we talkin' United States dollars?
-In used currency. Nothing bigger than a fifty.
-What is your name?
-That's cool. We're gettin' to know each other. This is a good thing. I'm Carter.
-Carter. I just want to be able to tell the Ambassador who was responsible for the death of his daughter because he talked too much.
-Hey, that's whacked! I thought we was gettin' on here!
-Shut up!
-OK. Say what it is.
-I don't know what went wrong last night, but this department could've lost one detective and our only explosives expert.
-Sir, I can explain.
-What you did was dangerous and completely outside policy.
-I know, but --
-Good job.
-Hey, sir, it was a pleasure to preserve Johnson's ass. Well...you know what I mean.
-Feds asked for me?
-And that, of course, would be me.
-Ooo, there's a chill. Love that.
-He stole my wheel!
-This is pathetic.
-He'll be OK. Russ is a tough son of a bitch.
-Tell me about it.
-He was just doing his job.
-You talk very fast.
-Beach Boy.
-You're shittin' me. You know the Beach Boys?!
-Help me Rhonda.
-You have one of these?
-No.
-You speak English!
-A little.
-Bullshit a little. You lied to me.
-I didn't say I didn't. You assumed I didn't.
-It's the same thing!
-I am not responsible for your assumptions.
-You're full of shit. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Full of shit?
-Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking. You seemed as if you liked to talk. I like to let people talk who like to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of shit they are.
-Okay, fine, you're full a shit, I'm full a shit.
-We are both full of shit.
-I am afraid I don't understand the importance of this information.
--- what the hell is that?
-What?
-That silly-ass look on your face.
-I was being polite.
-Where were we?
-Witnesses.
-I thought you were taking me to the consulate.
-You're a regular god damn acrobat, aren't you? Bet you feel real good makin' me look like an asshole.
-It was not my intent --
-Right....
-Mr. Carter, I appreciate your desire to show me a good time, but that is not the reason I am here.
-What about them?
-I know a shortcut.
-Shortcut?
-You make the plate?
-What plate?
-The license! You get it?!
-No.
-What the hell kinda cop are you?!
-Did you make the plate?!
-It was my ass that almost got trashed!
-He was trying to kill me, not you.
-Yeah, sure, you got lots a enemies in L.A. after what? Six hours?
-It was a man I was after in Hong Kong.
-When a man steps in dung, it is obvious. There is no need to rub it in his face. The smell is the same.
-What is that, some kind of Chinese proverb?
-I worked with Ambassador Han and his family for ten years. He wanted me to come with them to America. If I had, this might not have happened.
-Don't go there...
-I could not come. I had other responsibilities.
-Hey, stop. We're just gonna wind up in some bar, drinking' to forget all the things we shoulda done and then you'll start singin' Beach Boy songs again. Then I'll really get depressed.
-I also did not come because I think I would not fit in America.
-Alright, listen, no bullshit just tell me straight: did you really know the guy you were chasin'?
-When we go inside, you let me handle everything, you hear? This is my man, you dig? My informant. You know what an informant is?
-Stooly.
-What?
-Stool pigeon.
-You talk too fast.
-Let's go. Everybody take off?
-You see what I'm sayin'? You control the space.
-Thank you. I learn a great deal.
-Let's get us a photo and description. We'll have an APB out while we stake out the restaurant.
-That is a problem. There is no description of Juntao. No known photograph.
-Are you tellin' me nobody knows what he looks like? Come on, there must be witnesses somewhere.
-You like it?
-Yeah, it's good.
-You want more?
-Now, that's American music.
-Yes, I know this song.
-You know War?
-That's not how it goes.
-Yes, I think so.
-No, no. It's not good-God you all! It's Good-God, ya'll. Ya'll!
-Not yee-aw, Ya'll. And it's gotta be angry. Like you're pissed off.
-Good God, ya'll!
-Are you OK?
-Want some?
-No, fish is a PM food.
-Excuse me?
-What?!
-Which one?
-This is my territory now. You are my responsibility.
-This concrete? This is still America.
-OK, when you go in, just act like you're from outa town.
-I am from outa town.
-Like that.
-No, please, I don't --
-No, wait. I don't have it. You have it.
-Oh no, I dropped it.
-You drop my gun and you lose my i.d.?
-I'm sorry, Lee.
-What are you doing here?
-Oh no.
-What?
-No, it is China, my country, my history. If any of it gets damaged...
-Oh my god. Griffin.
-What a surprise!
-FBI calls up my ass, says they need help in Tokyo. Like I'm supposed to drop everything.
-It's Hong Kong, not Tokyo. My country asked for the best. I told them that was you. Now I will show you around my Œhood.
-No shark fin, no camel hump. What you listenin' to?
-Yeah...beautiful. What would you call that paper there? Kind of a...Robin egg blue color?
-Not anymore.
-You're killin' me here.
-Carter, just because you saved my butt, doesn't mean it's yours.
-Last night's as much my fault as yours. If he's gonna put the blame on anybody --
-Hey, baby, it's cool. Captain just reassigned me to the Feds.
-The Feds?!
-Way he put it, I was the only one he thought could handle it. But you know what the worst thing is?
-No...what?
-I could get promoted right out of here.
-What's wrong with that?
-How'd what go?
-Oh, you're not gonna believe what they put me in charge of. They sent for the Ambassador's personal Chinese Investigator type. He is like the baddest Asian shield they got. And I, let me repeat that, I am the man who is on the case with him. Just the two of us, alone, workin' the whole deal as a team.
-They put you in charge?
-In Charge. Just me'n him. No interference. They don't even want to hear from us until we're done. I love the F.B.I. I love the F.B.I.
-Well...listen, if you need any help, you know, back up, call me, OK?
-Oh baby, don't worry, I'll call you. You can count on it.
-Well.. I wouldn't want to be in the way.
-You got a lot of guts calling me.
-Yes I do. That's all I got. Guts and you, Johnson. There's no one else I can trust.
-You made a fool out of me! In front of the FBI!
-Jesus...what do you want?
-This whole thing is goin' down tonight. I need to know where the Ambassador is gonna be. The Feds will be keepin' a lid on everything. You thing you can do that?
-This is my city. I'm a cop. I'll find Œem.
-Oh my god...what happened to you?
-It's called a dress.
-Wait a minute. I'm not riding in that.
-What?! This is a class ride, Johnson.
-Yeah, if you're Superfly.
-You don't like it?
-You OK?
-We saved the girl and got the bad guys, didn't we?
-Yeah. So why you look do down?
-Look at me! My dress is ruined. I look like shit.
-How about a lift home?
-Any demands yet?
-At this point we don't have much.
-How much they want?
-You come highly recommended, Carter. And your particular assignment requires a special talent.
-... the director considers this top priority, considering he is a Chinese National and here under difficult circumstances. His name is Lee. And he is to be shown every courtesy. Within reason.
-Sir, he's just gonna get in my way. If I'm gonna handle this situation...
-I'm talking about the girl.
-What kind of assignment is that?
-Bottom line: I don't want some Chung King Cop getting his head blown off and turning this operation into a international incident.
-Why don't you assign one of your own men to this?
-Because with your special talents, I'm sure you'll do a better job.
-What the hell am I supposed to do with him? Take him to the zoo?
-What do you mean you lost him?! How could you lose him?!
-You understand what I'm sayin'?
-Yo, Johnson...
-You think this is funny, Carter? You send for someone from Explosives!? Four men just died in there!
-Hey, man, you can use her. She's an expert!
-Hmmmm?
-Don't play bullshit games with me.
-Oh yeah. The caller was a man. Confident. Had an accent. My guess, Asian. Anything else I can do for the FBI, sir?
-Why don't you try the assignment. Or should I call and ask for somebody who can handle it?
-Okay, let me start from the top. A few days ago I was on this munitions dealer named Lafontaine. Now, after the shit blew up last night...
-I'm not interested, Carter. You're no longer on this assignment.
-What?!
-Hey, hey, you start touching me there, I'm gonna start movin'! Word up, mother...
-Shut up!
-You a cop or something?
-This is not a good way to start a relationship, stickin' a gun to a man's head, feelin' around his personal equipment. Make him think you don't trust him.
-I don't trust anybody. Especially first time deals.
-I oughta pat your ass down. Make sure you're not a cop.
-Nobody touches me.
-You know something? Every time I see this stuff, it reminds me of...uh...a double latte grande... With two shots of non-fat milk.
-What's this little green wire coming out one side of the package?
-Okay, look, we're gonna make a trade. You cross the street, leave her on the sidewalk. I will leave him on this side. Then we trade places. You get him, I get her. Get the picture, Lois?
-You got a boy friend in here yet? ŒCause you're gonna need somebody to kiss your ass goodbye.
-What are you talking about?
-You're movin' to death row. See, your fingerprints are now on the murder weapon of Four FBI Agents. And when I turn this into the lab, they're gonna find Lafontaine all over it. And we already know... ...this is your MO.
-How did I do this?! Maybe you didn't notice but I'm in jail!
-You sonuvabitch.
-Where do we find him?
-Hello.
-Ambassador Han.
-Yes.
-My daughter.
-She's fine.
-Yes.
-You have run out of time. The amount now is two hundred million. I will call later with instructions. You will either deliver the money or pick up the body of your daughter.
-Hello.
-Take the money with you tonight. Pack it in six dragons. You will be contacted again.
-Hello.
-Han?
-Yes.
-It's Griffin.
-Yes.
-You have what I asked for?
-I do.
-I would like one of my people to help.
-Ambassador, let me assure you that the FBI has made this a top priority. We have plenty of manpower on the case.
-He is very good.
-I am not an American, Mr. Russ. My daughter is not an American.
-I understand, sir. But you are an honored guest of the United States...
-Come on. Let's get you some dry clothes.
-I am so sorry about your men.
-Yes sir, me too. The State Department has authorized release of the funds. We'll have to make the first drop at 7. As soon as they pick up the money, we've got Œem.
-And Mr. Lee? Where is he?
-When were you going to tell me you were not going with us?
-I still have work to do here.
-I don't believe you. My father was explaining to Mr. Griffin. That is how I found out.
-I was trying to find the right time.
-I will not have friends in America.
-What is he up to now?
-Bob -- are you making friends with this man?
-At the wedding? You invite him? Bob, don't you realize he's writing another article about me?
-Sure I do. But the bet defense is a good offense, right? You're not going to let your opponent throw you off your game.
-You don't understand this guy.
-Let him come to the wedding. You're not running, right? Say it. "I'm not..."
-I'm not running.
-So if you're not running and Ike Graham is there to see it, then any article he writes has got to have a happy ending, right? All we're doing is turning lemon into lemonade.
-Right.
-Yes.
-Ahh.
-See you at the wedding.
-At this pace, it could be an evening wedding.
-What do you expect me to say to this?
-You look awful.
-Really?
-I didn't want to find out I wasn't for her in the fourth quarter.
-Got any last minute advice?
-Actually, he only asked me one ridiculous question. The rest weren't so bad.
-What? You talked to him! Did you tell him we dated before you were a priest?
-Yes, yes, I'm sure I only did you good, Maggie.
-Only respectful things. What did we have in common back then... What kind of music did you like... Did you ruin my life when you left me standing at the altar...
-And what did you say?
-How could I be angry at you when clearly what has happened to me is as God intended?
-Good one! Thanks.
-God... Of course. I'm sorry -- I mean, I'm... Brian -- I've got to go. The man's a lunatic, but I know exactly where he's going next.
-He wanted to know how you used to like your eggs.
-I'm really sorry that I hurt you, Brian.
-I'm happy here, where I'm supposed to be. But if you ever become a Catholic, may I ask you a favor, Maggie?
-Of course.
-Could your confess to Father Patrick from now on?
-That's it. Back to obedience school.
-And in a "V".
-We do it to our dog.
-It's hurting.
-I'll get the dress.
-Tell me, why does Maggie need another wedding rehearsal and two days before the wedding? She's already done this.
-Bob's in a hurry.
-Don't be nervous, Maggie. Let us visualize. Remember what Bob said? "Be the ball."
-"Sink the putt."
-"Make the shot."
-"Nothing but net."
-I love his eyes. I just believe they're listening to you.
-Rub your ears.
-Fully. I like her. She has wit.
-I left four messages. You don't return my calls.
--- It's for you, Ike.
-What?
-Lesson number two. Never work for your former spouse.
-That's not nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up and you know it.
-I didn't cook up a story. I had a source.
-No, that's what makes you unemployed.
-Lawyers. I don't know, Ellie -- Firing me is going to be very tough on you. It's going to be hard to get over. There will be therapy bills for you.
-I already made an appointment for later today.
-See? You want custody of my job? ... Why not just consider my wrist slapped and call me when you feel I've served my time?
-Fisher, let him talk.
-Is that what I did to you? Is that what happened? Did I just not see you?
-Well -- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Ellie.
-Maggie!
-Overpriced nice apartment and Chinese takeout. That's New York living.
-... Just call me when you have it. Ike, how is the story coming? Is she a man-eater?
-Or a vegetarian?
-Look, he's running after her.
-Look, he's in pretty good shape.
-Ellie asked me to come down to offer moral support.
-In vino veritas.
-Ike, I really liked the Runaway Bride piece, and since I do freelance stuff for G.Q., I'm in a different position now...
-Vindication. How would you like to get some? A chance to prove that, though your facts weren't entirely straight, your theory was correct.
-The real story on Miss Carpenter.
-The anatomy of the black widow spider of Maryland.
-It wouldn't be a bad way to get you back into writing feature pieces again.
-If she runs, then it's a cover story. All true. All accurate.
-Okay, you were right. I hated my column, but I can do this assignment.
-Then you've got it. If you leave tomorrow for the hinterlands, you'll have plenty of time before her next wedding trot.
-"Paid vindication" That's what I call justice.
-Justice, yes. Paid, I don't know. They like the idea, but my hands are tied with budget restraints.
-Don't say "spec" like it's a dirty word. Nobody ever paid Shakespeare to write a play! Plato never got a book advance...
-Yes, well, my theory was that she may be running because she gets attention... Negative attention is attention. Like when women whack you on the street because of your column, that's negative attention.
-This is about her negative attention, not mine. Did you get the reimbursement for the dress yet?
-No, I'm paying for the dress. Do you think she's still gonna run?
-Look -- I'll be in there later today. I'll come by and tell you all about it.
-You're coming here?
-Yeah.
-Then come for dinner.
-Okay, we'll order out.
-No... They're interesting guys. Each one of these guys has something going for him. I mean, one's been up Everest. Another's become a priest. One's a pretty good guitar player. And this guy today tried to end world hunger, if you can believe that...
-Of course we are. Of course.
-Then you'll be my best man.
-Well, I'm good, I don't know if I'm best.
-I have no idea what I'm doing.
-Your job is... the ring. Do you have the ring?!
-Get this man a Kamikaze.
-You could have told me you were fiance number three.
-And end up in the papers? I've been humiliated enough already to last a lifetime, thank you. I'm sorry she got you canned.
-Thanks.
-She's a cacophony of contradictions.
-Well, I'm writing another article on the cacophony.
-Ah, can't stay away from her, can you? Like a moth to a flame.
-Guess you'd know about that. You're an entomologist, right? How's business?
-Not bad. I was traveling around studying the reproductive and migratory patterns of locusts when Maggie met me.
-Same as you said. What did you call her? A "man-eater", "a devouring death goddess."
-I don't think that's why she ran.
-I don't know. I'm working on it. I was on the wrong track.
-And you defending her?
-No. I call it like I see it. I'm a journalist. I'm a truth teller.
-Unbelievable, she got to you.
-Sorry, no. I just got one.
-Excuse me, sir. I have an actual fact for you.
-Yes, Mrs. Pressman.
-It's her fourth time to the altar, you know. Not seven like they said.
-I'm not sure. Mr. Schullian runs the newsstand, he's our local bookie, you know, he's giving eight to one odds she won't. He says she's so famous now, maybe Vegas will give odds on her. I'm going to wait to hear what the pros say.
-Good fact. Well, you let me know.
-Well, I'm off. A reporter's work is never done. Mrs. Pressman, thank you.
-It's okay. There's no microphone. You're no fun.
-Hello. I'm looking for Maggie Carpenter. There was a sign at the hardware store across the street...
-What?
-It's been our experience that anyone with some sort of gewgaw on his loafers ends up being another big city reporter wanting to interview Maggie.
-About her upcoming wedding and all.
-I am just such a reporter. And you are?
-And you are?
-Looking for Maggie.
-I think you'd look good in red.
-Have you listened to his morning show, "Wake up with ballplayer"?
-Not yet. I had a phlemless morning. I hear he's a pretty good ballplayer.
-This game is pretty important to him. He made all-stars in high school, you know.
-It's nice that they're still friends.
-Yes, I am. And who are you?
-Betty Trout. Five dollars.
-Oh, Betty. I take it you're going to be making the wedding cake and they say you're throwing --
-Your two cinnamon rolls.
-You should thank Lou and I for the wedding car -- a '63 Buick.
-Thank you.
-They made me put my hat back on.
-Gee, I hope they don't have a fight out there. You don't think they'll call it off...?
-Well, wedding cake freezes. This we know.
-Like her mother.
-Dad's fishing trip, Grandma's knee operation, Grandma's birthday...
-I hope you have a different angle. It's pretty much all been covered.
-Originality is my speciality.
-Well, instead of a haircut, how about a wash? You know, get all that city grit out of it.
-Getting nervous?
-Weird dreams? You're going to tell me about them?
-I'm not here to make you feel bad. I'm here for vindication. In my heart...
-Did something happen to make you care about reality?
-Yes. Conviction. Conviction that I'm onto the truth. You're going to do the same thing to "poor bastard number four" that you did to the last three. You're going to run again. And I'm not leaving until you do.
-You're going to be very disappointed.
-We'll see.
-That's fair.
-Everest. Is that right?
-Twice...
-Really?
-How romantic.
-We think so.
-Grandma made me the cutest outfit. I can't wait to show it to you.
-Give me that!
-Look, look, man. I think the man is heartbroken.
-You've been here for three minutes. What did you do to her?
-You misinterpret everything. We've all been friends our whole lives. But that's the types of relationship you wouldn't understand.
-I take it the desk clerk is one of your many admirers.
-You're welcome. Your notes made interesting bedtime reading -- if you like trashy fiction. Your observations are distorted, ungrounded an incomplete. You must be very proud.
-My point is that one again, you're getting it all wrong. That won't improve your reputation any, and it's not very flattering to me either. So, I'm going to give you a chance to write the truth.
-My magazine doesn't pay because for stories. It's not what you call ethical.
-Oh, but making up the facts as you go along is ethical? Actually, I meant you. You probably got severance or expenses or both. I'll take your check. No credit cards.
-You've seen the post-its. I've already got more juicy material than I need. Why should I pay you dollar one?
-Too much.
-Seven-fifty.
-Five hundred.
-Six-fifty.
-It's a birthday present for my cousin. Put your finger in.
-I think so.
-I like it. This whole thing is pretty incredible. I think you could probably sell this lamp idea in New York.
-Maybe someday.
-You afraid to try?
-No, I'm not afraid. Just... Maybe someday.
-Well, I'm impressed. Absolutely incredible. I didn't expect pink and lacy, but this isn't exactly a woman's room.
-Always a mood killer.
-It's a little "Silence of the Lambs" for me. I can't believe you waited for the wedding to run.
-It was one of the most wonderful moments of my life. Cal Ripken even applauded.
-Highly suspect.
-What do you mean? It was incredibly romantic!
-I'm a work in progress.
-So? Is that what you said to her?
-No. I think I said something eloquent like, "So, uh -- maybe we should, ya know. What do you think?"
-I don't know.
-You don't know.
-No.
-Even with everything that's happened I've still never been married and I still deserve a beautiful dress.
-You look... uh... You look fine.
-Fine. The newspaper's upside down. That's better than fine.
-I'll have the same.
-Of course.
-Tell me. When you get to the altar, will you spike the bouquet?
-Ike... Hi, Grandma.
-Oh, my God -- It's Miles Davis. This is "King of Blue"! This is the original recording. Hard to find in good condition. Where did you find this?
-It was in the attic. It was jus sitting there gathering dust.
-It's valuable. Hang onto it.
-Hmmm... Figuring out what kind of music I like and then finding me a rare album. You're not trying to soften me up, are you?
-Watch your leg, Dad. I'm so tired of this.
-Your filter's clogged. This takes unleaded.
-Can you fix it?
-First I have to find some tools. I need a half and a nine-six-tenth.
-Of what?
-Kind of isolated.
-No. But I think attraction is too often mistaken for rightness. Attraction is very misleading. And if it's mutual, it's well, terribly distracting.
-Where did you disappear to?
-I don't know, give me a minute. Are you all right with this?
-Excuse me?
-Are you all right with this? You think this is funny?
-Yes.
-I'm the only goddamn person in there pulling for you.
-You humiliated me!
-No, Maggie, I defended you. Humiliating you is what everyone else is doing. It's the theme of this party.
-I had it under control. Now they feel sorry for me.
-It's fun! It's high.
-Or the sexual habits of locusts?
-That was very interesting research George was doing!
-What kind of Dead Head gets a temporary tattoo?
-I already explained about that.
-And where you ever really going to run the leper colony in Molokai?
-Brian told you that?
-Or maybe you just wanted to wear the headdress.
-Every one of those times I was being supportive. Something you won't understand.
-Supportive? You weren't being supportive. You were being scared. Just like now. You are the most lost woman I have ever laid eyes on.
-Lost!
-That's right. You're so lost you don't even know how you like your eggs.
-What!?
-With the priest, you liked them scrambled. With the Dead Head, fried. With the bug guy, poached. Now it's egg whites only, thank you very much.
-That's called changing your mind.
-No, that's called not having a mind of your own. What are you doing, Maggie? You really want to let that man drag you up Annapuma on your honeymoon? You don't want to climb Annapuma.
-Yes I do!
-No. No -- Actually, let's make Ike the pastor.
-I'd rather not.
-I'm sorry, Bob. She kissed me back.
-About a minute...?
-A little longer for me.
-Okay. So... what, uh... What just happened? Just now? Jus then? In there?
-I don't know. I, uh -- I frankly don't even want to talk about it.
-I love you. I love you.
-To who? Are you asking me?
-Yes, you!
-Well, you do have the dress.
-And the church.
-And the wedding date. There's the two of us. So, you think... maybe... You have to go down the aisle with somebody you love and who love you back.
-I'm okay with that.
-So am I.
-I've been making friends with your cat. Is it okay that I'm here?
-Livid is good. So what is it, Maggie? You here on business? I saw your lamps. They're terrific.
-You actually could make breaking and entering into a new career. So, what are you doing here?
-Does it matter?
-I think so... When I was walking down the aisle? I was walking toward somebody who didn't have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person's fault, because I had done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted. So it was good that I didn't go through with it because it would have been
-Yes, I did.
-Used?
-They're mine. I'm turning in my running shoes to you.
-You were not.
-I was, because if you said "yes" right away, I wouldn't get to say this next part. And I've been practicing it. Ready?
-I'm listening.
-Pretty good speech, Maggie.
-So -- Mag -- you've seen this, huh?
-You're a goddess!
-I didn't even need to change this gasket, just put in a little hydraulic fluid.
-Reporter?
-Hold on -- Nobody interviews Maggie in here unless they're getting haircut.
-Okay, he's on base. Can we talk about my life now? -- Ike's going to turn that tattoo stuff into a big deal -- that I was never serious about Gill, blah blah. He's totally out to get me.
-For what reason? Some personal satisfaction?
-That's what he says, but if he thinks that I don't realize he's writing another article, then he's an idiot.
-It's probably because you got him fired.
-Ya think?
-There he is. Snoop Doggy-Dogg.
-Where?
-Over there. Ten o'clock. He's talking to our little Dennis. Dennis will turn into one of those "sources say" things.
-Good morning to you, too. You look good.
-Thank you. Do you think I flirt with Cory?
-I know. I think sometimes you just sort of spaz-out with random excess flirtation energy and it just lands on anything male that moves.
-I'm going to kill myself.
-Why?
-Because you think I'm all like... "Hey man, check me out".
-No, I don't think you're like, "I'm charming and mysterious in a way that even I don't understand and something about me is crying out for protection from a big man like you". Very hard to compete with. Especially to us married women who have lost our mystery.
-But you haven't lost your mystery! You're very mysterious!
-No. I'm weird. Weird and mysterious are two different things.
-But I'm weird.
-No. You're quirky. Quirky and weird are two different things.
-I'm not worried about you and Cory or Cory and me or even that you're irreversibly screwed up. But, Maggie, you've been like this since we were kids. And I think now that you are aware of it and that it hurts people's feelings, maybe it's time to move on with your life and commit to someone of your own, like Bob, if he's
-I think you're right. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
-Something that brings warmth to my heart. Duckbill platypus.
-You're right. It's not funny now. Maybe we both grew up.
-Lighten up, wahine.
-Lighten up, what?
-This party is for you and Bob. Get your mind off the reporter.
-I haven't seen him in twenty-four hours. It just gives me the creeps a little bit. I'd feel better if I knew where he was.
-He's going to be the pastor?
-Yep. I want him to be front and center and to watch everything.
-What happened at the luau?
-... I don't even want to talk about the luau. What's this?
-Grandma!
-He's not coming. Watch. He's not coming.
-No, no. I saw eight geese flying in a "V".
-You and your lucky geese. You always see geese.
-Let's go.
-You okay? I'm closing.
-I'm just finishing up, too.
-Want to go to Butch's for a drink or something?
-No, I'm just going to head home.
-What are you talking about?
-Wedding. Wedding. You just have to get the rest of your ducks in a row.
-Thank you. You still think that he was....
-So I've come to see it as a bonus, really, that we've been able to plan, and pay for, so many weddings.
-I'm not exactly having fun, either... Steady.
-Good boy, Port Hole.
-His name is Skipper, Dad... Steady.
-I'm really rooting for this one.
-What?
-Just stop it. Don't say another word like that.
-Maggie, it's just a joke...
-No. It's my life.
-A harmless joke.
-"What is unusual about Miss Carpenter is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them. She has already disemboweled six in a row by leaving them at the altar."... I can't ready anymore.
-You tell Maggie.
-No, you tell her.
-No, no. You're her best friend.
-No.
-You know, it's just possible that she hasn't read this yet.
-Yeah.
-There's no why, Annie. I'm just not up for it. I never said I was.
-Is there somebody else?
-Nope.
-You don't love me, is that it?
-How about ... you're too narcissistic to commit to another human being in a long- term way.
-You take the microwave?
-What am I going to do with a microwave?
-You turn it on, you open it and you stand in front of it for a very long time.
-Tell me he's living in squalor. Tell me everything he has is being repossessed, including his filthy, dented mobile home.
-He's got a houseboat.
-I hate boats.
-It sounds nice.
-Boats. You go out in them. You come back in them. I hate them.
-Houseboats don't go anywhere.
-Boats. All anyone talks about is the wind. Is it up, is it down. I can't live with a man who only talks about the wind.
-It's not a boat boat. It's really a house.
-But it's on the water.
-It's on the lake right in the middle of Seattle. It rains nine months of the year in Seattle.
-I hope I don't have to pay for that piece of information.
-The short one with black hair is your cousin Irene --
--- who's married to --
-Harold, who ran away with his secretary but came back --
--- because Irene threatened to put the dog to sleep if he didn't --
-And your brother Tom is a psychology professor and is married to...Betsy --
-Your Uncle Milton lost all his money in a Puerto Rican condominium that went belly up, don't mention the IRS or the Federal prison system. Your mother is Barbara, your father is Cliff --
-I hope he doesn't get out his slides.
-Am I what they had in mind?
-Don't touch them. I feel terrible sneezing at a time like this. This is a big moment for me --
-If he eats one tiny piece of a nut --
-Is that all right with you?
-They loved you. I told you they would love you and they did.
-I love you.
-I love you, Walter. Did anyone ever call you anything other than Walter?
-Nope.
-Even when you were young?
-You sure you don't want to drive with me?
-How will I get back to Baltimore Saturday? Oh God, I forgot my present for your stepmother -- I took it inside by accident.
-I'll wait.
-Happy New Year, darling.
-I was thinking, I have to go up to Boston for the AAP convention and then visit Winston-Hughes about switching over our computers. Why don't we meet in New York for Valentine's Day weekend?
-Walter, I'd love to --
-We'll stay at the Plaza --
-Go for a walk in Central Park --
-We will? The Symphony? Okay. I'll take you to the Russian Tea Room for pelmeni.
-What is it?
-It's delicious, trust me.
-Does it have wheat in it?
-Who is it?
-Miss Scarlett. In the broom closet. With the radio.
-Becky heard this woman on the radio complaining about this guy she was sure was Rick, which meant he was cheating on her. She was completely hysterical. Then it turned out the woman lived in Duluth.
-That doesn't make any sense.
-Couldn't you just do a phone interview?
-Not for the kind of place I want to do. I won't be in Chicago that long.
-When you get back, I'll be gone --
-And then I'll see you in New York --
-You go.
-Ever since Christmas, you've been different. Kind of distracted, distant. But I feel like you're coming back from wherever you were.
-I am. I was just... I just got... I think I got nervous. It's normal, right? Don't you ever feel nervous about, you know?
-What?
-About forever.
-No.
-Don't hate me but I love this pattern.
-You couldn't.
-I do.
-Walter.
-It was my mother's.
-Beautiful view, isn't it?
-I don't know what to say about it, Walter. It was a form of temporary insanity. But I had to tell you about it because --
--- it was a betrayal.
-Yes. But it wasn't really. It was just...
-So what happened?
-I told you. Nothing --
-At the top of the Empire State Building --
-I'm not at the top of the Empire State Building. I'm here.
-Oh, Walter. I don't deserve you.
-You okay?
-Oh!
-What?
-You should write something about this.
-About what?
-It's not true, but it feels true.
-What was that about up there?
-What was what?
-What's with you?
-"Sleepless in Seattle"?
-That's what she called him on the show. Because he can't sleep.
-And now 2,000 women want his number. The guy could be a crackhead, a psychopath, a flasher, a junkie, a transvestite, a chain-saw murderer, or someone really sick, like Rick.
-Actually, he sounded nice.
-Oh? Oh, really? Now we're getting down to it.
-You're a basket case.
-They knew it. Time, distance, nothing could separate them. Because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...
-... movie. That's your problem. You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie. Read it to me.
-"Dear Sleepless and Son..."
-It sounds like the name of a mattress store --
-And this woman is a writer! That's what everyone writes at the beginning of letters to strangers.
-I know that. You think I don't know that? "I know that's a dumb way to begin, but it's the only way I can think of to convey what happened to me the other night when I heard the two of you on the radio. On the other hand, maybe I'm just losing my mind."
-You are. You're losing your mind. What about Walter?
-I'm going to marry Walter. I just have to get this out of my system.
-Right.
-I should say something in this about magic.
-What?
-I don't know. I mean, what if I never meet him? What if this man is my destiny and I never meet him?
-Your destiny can be your doom. Look at me and Rick.
-"On top of the Empire State Building at sunset on Valentine's Day."
-You want to hear about destiny? If my husband hadn't gone on a diet, which caused me to leave him, I would never have been on that flight to Miami, and met Rick, and ended up having sex in the bathroom of a 727 with that nob you slide that says "vacant-occupied, vacant- occupied, vacant-occupied" --
-You never told me you left your husband because he went on a diet.
-He lost all the weight... there.
-That's impossible. A guy can't --
-Can too.
-No.
-Yes.
-And then you left him? He lost weight there and you left him?
-Plus he fell in love with a temp.
-Men never get this movie.
-I know.
-Do you think at the end of the movie when she's in the wheelchair they can still do it?
-Hello.
-Turn on your radio!
-What?
-I thought I would look into doing a story about those radio shows.
-You'd probably have to go somewhere to really look into it.
-Did you talk to him?
-You told a lie and got on a plane.
-That's not what I mean. I'm going back over there tomorrow and talk to him. I am.
-Okay. Good. Goodbye.
-Becky?
-What?
-Is this crazy?
-No. That's the weirdest part about it.
-Thank you. I love you.
-I love you, too.
-You were standing in the middle of the street?
-You know that dream where you're walking down the street naked and everyone is looking at you?
-I love that dream.
-That was nothing compared to this humiliation, nothing.
-But he saw you, right?
-It's a sign --
-You don't know who she was, Annie --
-This is a photo of hair.
-Becky?
-So I mailed your letter.
-"Dear Annie: Thanks for your letter. It was great. We're very excited about meeting you in New York on Valentine's Day and seeing if we are M.F.E.O. Sleepless in Seattle."
-M.F.E.O.?
-So he can't write. Big deal. I mean, verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and our pathetic need for it is what gets us into so much trouble.
-I'm going to run back to Walter's arms, if he's still have me.
-What about the letter?
-You're going to miss the train.
-No, I'm not.
-What are your plans in New York?
-We're going to the Rainbow Room and the symphony tomorrow night.
-I love the symphony.
-I need to know about him because... he's involved with my sister...
-Okay.
-She has a pattern of getting involved with losers... Once she almost ran away with a human cannonball from the circus.
-Do you want a matrimonial, past wives, any kids--
-No, I know that part --
-So you want a financial, is he a deadbeat, we can do a D&B --
-No, no, no, it's more like, who is he, does he have a sense of humor, is he nice -- no forget nice, I've got nice --
-A sense of humor.
-I'll tell you the truth, I heard this guy on a call-in radio show and I might not marry the person I should marry because I've become obsessed with him.
-Oh. Like Glenn Close in that movie.
-No. Not remotely. I just want to find out about him.
-Honey, he wasn't right for you.
-I know.
-He wasn't even wrong for you, like <u>cosmically</u> wrong, so don't beat up on yourself for wasting...however long it was.
-Maybe you should see a shrink.
-I want my money.
-Go home for the weekend.
-Perfect. Sandbag the father.
-Please --
-This is a complete disaster. I wanted him to find a wife, but he's got the wrong one --
-Oh God, it's major. He's kissing her on the lips. I have to stop this.
-Are you Annie?
-I'm Jonah. That's my dad. His name is Sam.
-Hi, Jonah. Sam. And who is this?
-Howard.
-I think I'm going crazy, Tom. I really do. Are you happily married?
-What?
-I mean, why did you get married? Was it all fireworks and trumpets and --
-I got married because Betsy said we had to break up or get married. So we get married.
-But when you met her, did you believe she was the only person for you? That in some mystical, cosmic way, it was fated?
-Annie, when you meet someone and you're attracted to them, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as chemistry is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match.
-I don't even know him. But I'm having all these fantasies about a man I've never met, who lives in Seattle.
-It rains nine months of the year in Seattle.
-I know, I know. I do not want to move to Seattle. But what I really don't want to do is end up always wondering what might have happened and knowing I could have done something. What do you think? It's just cold feet, isn't it? Everyone panics before they get married, didn't you?
-Yes, I did.
-Thank you, Tom. I feel so much better just having blown this off.
-Everybody! Annie has an announcement --
-It's probably just the flowers --
-The Historical Society wanted this and I never would give it to them --
-Granny's dress. Oh, Mom.
-I notice these things are back in fashion. Oh, honey. He's a lovely man, Annie.
-I know. He's wonderful, isn't he?
-Are his folks nice?
-You'll love them. We're going down to D.C. tonight to be with them Christmas morning.
-It's silly, really. I mean, I'd seen him at the office, obviously I'd seen him, he's the associate publisher, and then one day we both ordered sandwiches from the same place, and he got my lettuce and tomato sandwich on whole wheat, which of course he was allergic to, and I got his lettuce and tomato on white.
-How amazing.
-It is, isn't it? You make millions of decisions that mean nothing and then one day you decide to order takeout and it changes your life.
-Destiny takes a hand.
-Oh, please. Destiny's just something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.
-Then how do you explain that you both ordered exactly the same sandwich except for the bread? How many people in this world like lettuce and tomato without something else like tuna?
-I was in Atlantic City with my family. Cliff was a waiter. He talked me into sneaking out for a midnight walk on the Steel Pier. I've probably told you this a million times, but I don't care. And then he held my hand. I was scared. All sorts of thing were going through my head. But after a while I forgot about them.
-What?
-You know.
-What?
-Magic. It was magic.
-Magic.
-I knew we would be together forever, and that everything would be wonderful, just the way you feel about Walter. Walter. It's quite a formal name, isn't it? One of the things I truly knew was that your father and I were going to have a wonderful time ... in the sack I believe you call it --
-Mom!
-Of course it took several years before everything worked like clockwork in that department, so don't be worried if it takes a while --
-Mom, we already...
-Well, fine, fine. Fiddle da dee. And how's it working?
-So you'll get married in a new dress.
-It's a sign.
-Sure you do.
-You touch her for the first time, and suddenly... you're home. It's almost like...
-Magic.
-Hello.
-Hi.
-Hi. So far so good. So. What should we talk about? How insecure we were in high school. Shirley Votypka, the first girl I ever felt up. Health. What about health? Did you know that eating six macadamia nuts is the equivalent of eating a steak?
-It's you.
-It's me?
-Which means --
-Great. This is great. The whole town knows. Just out of curiosity, how do you two know?
-Grace heard it.
-Grace the dispatcher. Great.
-The point is, take the client out to dinner and ask her to marry you and then maybe we won't have to redo the kitchen cabinets.
-Sam, if you're not doing anything New Year's -- obviously you're not doing anything New Year's -- we're having some people over, all of them married, not one even remotely interested in playing around. Does that sound great or what? I can't think of the last time I was at a party when anything actually happened.
-Hello.
-I'm probably not interested in whatever you're selling.
-I'm not selling anything. Your son called and asked for advice on how to find you a new wife.
-Who is this?
-Dr. Marcia Fieldstone of Network America.
-I'm not mad at you. Okay, I'm not mad at you.
-All righ...
-Good. How long ago did your wife die?
-It's been about a year and a half.
-Have you had any relationship since?
-Why not?
-Look, Doctor, I don't want to be rude, but --
-We've been talking to -- well, let's just call him Sleepless in Seattle, and we'll be right back after this break with listener response, <u>your</u> response, to the things we've been discussing. The number to call is...
-Do you think there's somebody out there you could love as much as your wife? Maybe even more?
-What are you going to do, Sam?
-What was it that made you know?
-I don't think I could really describe it.
-Why not?
-No last names, Jonah. Hello there, you sound younger than our usual callers. How come you're up so late?
-It's not that late in Seattle.
-Got me there. What's your Christmas wish, Jonah?
-You don't like the one he was now?
-He doesn't have one now. That's the problem.
-Where's your mom?
-I'm sorry to hear that, Jonah.
-I've been pretty sad, but I think my dad is worse.
-And you're worried about him.
-No.
-Why not?
-It's very hard for him to talk about this stuff. It's like it makes him sadder.
-Is he home right now?
-Yeah.
-Well, I think I can help a little more if I talk to him directly.
-I don't know --
-I'm sure he won't be angry once he realizes how concerned you are about him.
-Okay, but if I get yelled at, I'm never gonna listen to this show again.
-I have no doubt that you're a good dad. You can tell a lot from a person's voice. But something must be missing if Jonah feels that you're still under a cloud.
-They met at the Empire State Building, only they didn't. Never mind.
-Just because someone's looking for a nice guy doesn't make them desperate.
-How about rapacious and love- starved?
-No.
-It is easier to be killed by a terrorist --
-It is not --
-Hey, my plate is full.
-Sandy has a girlfriend, Clenda ... She's a weightlifter, but it's not like her neck is bigger than her head or anything --
-I'm not asking you to set me up, Jay. That's not what I need your help for. I want to know what it's like over there.
-And that's what I'm trying to tell you. What women are looking over, okay? Pecs and a cute butt.
-You mean, like, "He has the cutest butt"? Where did I hear that recently?
-When's the latest time you were out there?
-Seventy... eight.
-Well. Things are different. First, you have to be friends. You have to like each other. Then you neck. This can go on for years. Then you have tests. Then you get to do it with a condom. The good news is, split the check.
-I don't think it could let a woman pay for dinner.
-Great. They'll have a parade in your honor. You'll be Man of the Year in Seattle Magazine. Tira misu.
-What's tira misu?
-You'll find out.
-What is it?
-You'll see.
-Some woman is going to want me to do it to her and I'm not going to know what it is.
-You'll like it.
-Dad, could you close the door?
-Write her.
-You think so?
-It's Y. O. H.
-Yeah. What's that?
-This is the best movie I've ever seen in my life.
-I don't get it.
-Do you know how much it costs to go to New York?
-Nobody knows. It changes practically every day. How much money do you have?
-Eighty dollars.
-I have forty-two. So that would definitely cover taxicabs, I think.
-Do you want an aisle or a window seat?
-Window.
-Do you want a fruit plate?
-I don't know. Do I?
-Dad --
-What is it?
-I can hear you walking around sometimes. At first I thought it was a robber. Go ahead, tell her, Dad.
-The hopes are perfect -- beautiful, identical, smooth -- and they are for something really amazing I feel it in my bones --
-It's a spice rack.
-Dad? About last night?
-It's never happening again. Right?
-Not.
-How many people do you think heard that thing last night?
-It plays in 50 states.
-What?!
-Nobody else is going to know it was us.
-Dad, I don't know about this one --
-Oh, you're changing your mind --
-No, I'm not, but --
-What's the matter with this one? Wouldn't you like to have Imelda Marcos as your mother?
-Does red pepper go under R or P?
-P. Dad?
-What?
-I forgot to mention. Jed called --
-Just out of curiosity, do you have any friends whose names don't begin with a J? I feel like it was a failure of the imagination on our part naming you Jonah. What is marjoram? Does anyone know?
-Fine. Fine.
-So I can go.
-Sure. Looking good.
-Shouldn't you have used a toggle bolt?
-I'm sorry. I'm just --
-Stressed.
-Just out of curiosity, how did they get our address?
-How did they get our phone number?
-"Dear Sleepless in Seattle: I am an SWF"-- What is that?
-Thank God. Something you don't know. It's a single white female.
-This is no good. She's looking for someone French. Or Greek. "Dear Sleepless in Seattle: I live in Tulsa." Where is that? --
-Oklahoma. Do you know where that is?
-Somewhere in the middle.
-I'm not going to think about what they're not teaching you in school. I am not going to think about it. Generally speaking I think we should rule out people who don't live somewhere near here --
-She looks like my third grade teacher. I hated my third grade teacher. Hold it! Wait a minute! She <u>is</u> my third grade teacher!
-Dad, you're not taking this seriously.
-This is not how you do it. You want this on an English muffin or a bun?
-English muffin. How do you do it?
-You see someone you like, you get a feeling about them, you ask them if they want to have a drink or --
--- a slice of pizza --
-But not dinner necessarily on the first date because by the time you're halfway through dinner you might be sorry you asked them to dinner whereas if it's just a drink, if you like them you can always ask them for dinner but if you don't you can go home if you see what I mean. I wonder if it still works this way.
-It doesn't. They ask you.
-If you get a new wife, I guess you'll have sex with her, huh?
-What do you think?
-Will she scratch up your back?
-In the movies women are always scratching up guy's back and screaming and stuff. When they're having sex.
-Whose show was this on?
-Jed's got cables.
-Hi, Dad. Dad, this is Jessica.
-It's nice to meet you, Jessica.
-Dad, this is amazing. If you play this backwards, it says "Paul is dead."
-I know.
-It was sinking.
-What was?
-Our house. There was water coming in all the windows.
-You're worried we're going to be all right. We're going to be all right. I remember sometimes you'd have nightmares as a baby. Your mom would hold you and rock you and sing you a song.
-Bye bye blackbird.
-Is that what she used to sing?
-I miss her. What do you think happens to someone after they die?
-I don't know.
-Like do you believe in heaven?
-I never did. Or the whole idea of an afterlife. But I don't know any more. I have these dreams about... your mom... and we have long talks about... about you, and how you are, which she sort of knows but I tell her anyway. So what is that? It's sort of an afterlife, isn't it?
-I'm starting to forget her.
-I... uh... have a date with someone Friday night.
-This one's for both of us.
-Great.
-I look stupid. I look stupid, don't I? I look like I'm trying too hard. I was going to get a haircut but then I thought I'd look like I just got a haircut.
-This is a good letter, Dad.
-The heels on these shoes are very large. Why have I never noticed this? The heels on these shoes are grotesque.
-Her name is Annie. Annie Reed.
-Listen to this --
-Not now, Jonah --
-Just this one part, okay? "I have been an excellent third-baseman for as long as I or anyone else can remember, and I guarantee you will not get one past me"
-Jonah, I'm leaving --
-Dad!
-Everyone thinks Brooks Robinson is the greatest.
-It's a sign.
-Here is Seattle. And here is Baltimore. Case closed.
-She doesn't want us to go to Baltimore. She wants to meet us in New York City on Valentine's Day. On top of the Empire State Building.
-I figure we could go to New York, catch the Knicks, and since we'd be there anyway, obviously we'd go to the Empire State Building --
-Why is she bringing that bag?
-Okay, tiger. Time for bed.
-It's only ten o'clock.
-Jonah!
-Okay.
-Thank Victoria for dinner.
-Thanks for dinner. I never saw anybody cook potatoes that way.
-Don't ever do that again.
-What are you doing up?
-I was thirsty.
-There's a bathroom upstairs.
-The water tastes better in the kitchen.
-Did you call that radio station again?
-No.
-Everyone at work heard you.
-I just called for a second.
-Long enough to call Victoria a ho.
-It's a short word.
-This is not a joke. Thank God Victoria doesn't know. It would really have hurt her feelings.
-Jonah, this isn't fair. You don't know Victoria. I hardly know her myself. She is, in fact, a mystery to me. She tosses her hair a lot. Why does she do this? I have no idea. Is it a twitch? Does she need a haircut? Should she use barrette so it doesn't keep falling in her face? These are things that I'm willing to
-Was Mom an adjustment?
-God, she's beautiful.
-Dad, I was talking to Jessica about reincarnation, and she thinks that probably you knew Annie in another life.
-Who is Annie?
-The reason I know this and you don't is that I'm younger and purer so I'm more in touch with cosmic forces.
-Have you seen my wallet?
-I'm only going to be away one night, okay, and Clarise will be here. You'll have a swell time. You'll watch a little Geraldo, some Nightmare on Elm Street 12, I'll never know.
-Are you going with her?
-I have to have a life. I have to do things that I want with people my own age. It's none of your business who I am going out with. I don't give a good goddam if you're angry --
-Fine. I won't say anything. You can marry Count Dracula.
-Thank you, Jonah. But the point is, I am not asking permission.
-What's wrong with Annie?
-Shut up? Shut up??? Mom never did that. Mom never said shut up to me. Mom never yelled at me.
-This conversation is finished.
-You said we could go to New York.
-Did not.
-Did too.
-I can't know what I said, but we're not going.
-I'm not leaving this room until you say yes.
-Get out.
-No.
-What if I couldn't get to you?
-I was scared of what you were gonna do.
-When I found you?
-If I didn't go.
-Listen, have I ever done anything really stupid?
-No.
-I mean, so far, have I screwed it up for you?
-I can't believe you flew first class.
-Maybe we'll get a dog when we get back.
-Okay.
-What do you mean, okay? Wouldn't you like a dog?
-Hi, Sam. And let me guess -- you must be Jonah.
-Do you like baseball?
-Yes, I do. In fact, my firm has box seats for the Mariners. Why don't we all go next week?
-What about camping?
-What about it?
-Do you like it?
-I went camping once. I love to brush my teeth in a brook and floss with a weed.
-Sure. I'd really like that. Thank you so much.
-Well...
-Hi.
-Hi. Sam?
-Yes?
-We live two piers over, don't we? Number 12, right? We're having like a really neat open house today from like four to whenever if you care to stop by.
-Thanks, but... we've got plans.
-Five minutes in the microwave. Any one of them, five minutes and done. Ready to eat. Do you know how to make juice?
-Eventually, in a few months, you'll start seeing women, you'll meet someone.
-Move on. Right. That's what I'm going to do. In a few months, boom, I'll be fine, I'll just grow a new heart.
-God, it's wonderful to see you. Where's Greg?
-You saw her in the airport and then here?
-How's Jonah taking it?
-It'll take him a while to come around. A month ago he called one of those radio call-in shows and told them I needed a wife --
-You're kidding --
-It's a little derivative.
-What do you mean?
-Anyway, Victoria's nice.
-Would you follow <U>her</U> through an airport?
-Hi.
-You look good.
-I thought you were never going to call me.
-You did?
-I really wanted you to call me, and I thought you were never going to --
-You could have called me --
-No way. No way I was going to be the first woman you went out with after... There is no percentage whatsoever in being the first woman anyone goes out with after...
-You <u>are</u> the first woman I'm going out with.
-Oh.
-We can't finish the job. She's on her sixth painter, now she's thinking maybe she wants the fireplace rebricked --
-I know her pretty well. Maybe I could call her --
-Is he there?
-No. After he was born, every time we started to make love, he would cry. He had an uncanny sense of timing. We really shouldn't do anything here anyway.
-He's ten.
-He's good at it.
-I read an article about this ...
-I read the same article...
-It takes time --
-Absolutely. When I come back, maybe the two of us should spend some time together, on our own. What do you think?
-I told you it would happen. It's bound to happen when a man works alone!
-Why didn't you give a warning signal?
-Want to go up to your office, Mr. Alexander?
-Naturally. You think I parked here for a cup of coffee?
-You're welcome to one.
-No thanks.
-The men would like to know who this gentleman is.
-I mean it. I know your work record. You were in line for foreman when this trouble started -- did you know that? You had a real future with this company, but you let those Reds stir you up. And now they'll sell you down the river. Why don't you wake up, Ray? That's your name, isn't it, Ray?
-Are you going to let us pass -- or do I have to call the Sheriff?
-Mornin'.
-How's it going?
-Not so sure about that. Letter of the Law, you know. All the injunction says is no picketing by miners.
-Whose side are you on anyway?
-Well?
-I've tried everything but shootin' 'em down.
-You haven't tried locking them up!
-You want 'em all arrested?
-Got any more ideas?
-Take a drink. Calm down!
-Now why don't you let these gentlemen pass? Don't you know who's in that car?
-It's the paymaster from Moscow -- with our gold.
-Jenkins ain't no boss. Mean we're gonna let people like Jenkins stay here?
-How goes it?
-Three hours! Just to heat enough water to wash this stuff! I tell you something. If this strike is ever settled -- which I doubt -- I don't go back to work unless the company installs hot running water for us. It should've been a union demand from the beginning.
-It's like Charley Vidal says -- there's two kinds of slavery, wage slavery and domestic slavery. The Woman Question, he calls it.
-The woman question?
-Question, question -- the problem, what to do about 'em.
-So? What does he want to do about 'em?
-He says give 'em equality. Equality in jobs, equality in the home. Also sex equality.
-What do you mean -- sex equality?
-Hear you had a little trouble, Quintero. Defective fuse? Well, you're all in one piece. So what's the beef?
-You know the beef. This new rule of yours, that we work alone. We're taking it up with the Super.
-Super's busy -- with your Negotiatin' Committee.
-Now wait a minute. Super's the one made the rule. He ain't gonna give you no helper.
-Foreman wants to get the ore out. Miner wants to get his brothers out. In one piece.
-You work alone, savvy? You can't handle the job, I'll find someone who can.
-Who? A scab?
-I checked the drift just before he blasted. It was all clear ... The man must have been asleep or something.
-You weren't even there. You were back at the station. Kalinsky told me ...
-Are you sick, Mama?
-No, Estellita.
-Are you sad? Are we going to church? For your confession?
-Mama, can I put the candles ...
-Why are they singing, Mama?
-They are singing for me.
-Can we light the candles now? On the cake?
-To the mine?
-Come on, Esperanza -- how about it? We got to.
-He can't drink this milk. It'll make him sick. He's on a formula. I was a fool! I shouldn't have kept him with me.
-It's all set. Consuelo's squad can take they day off tomorrow. We're taking over.
-So they had a little taste of what its like to be a woman ... and they run away.
-We're only one payment behind. I argued with her. It isn't right.
-But you had to have it, didn't you? It was so nice to listen
-Where you going?
-This water's cold again.
-Forget it.
-Forget it? I chop wood for the stove five times a day. Every time I remember. I remember that across the tracks the Anglo miners have hot water in pipes. And bathrooms. Inside.
-We did. It got lost in the shuffle.
-What?
-We can't get everything at once. Right now we've got more important demands.
-What's more important than sanitation?
-First we got to get equality on the job. Then we'll work on these other things. Leave it to the men.
-I see. The men. You'll strike, maybe, for your demands -- but what the wives want, that comes later, always later.
-Now don't start talking against the union again.
-Esperanza, have you forgotten what it was like before the union came? When Estella was a baby, and we couldn't even afford a doctor when she got sick? It was for our families! We met in graveyards to build that union!
-All right. Have your strike. I'll have my baby. But no hospital will take me, because I'll be a striker's wife. The store will cut off our credit, and the kids will go hungry. And we'll get behind on the payments again, and then they'll come and take away the radio...
-Is that all you care about? That radio? Can't you think of anything except yourself?
-Stop it! The children are watching. Stop it!
-Never... never... never!
-I did not mean to weep again. Why should I weep for joy?
-I'm a fool.
-Was it expensive, the beer?
-Antonio paid for it.
-Forgive me ... for saying you never thought of me.
-What's the matter?
-Mother of God ...have mercy ...
-A fighter, huh?
-He was born fighting. And born hungry.
-Drink, drink, Juanito. You'll never have it so good.
-What were they saying? About you? In there?
-They say I am no good to you.
-You are no good to me -- in jail.
-Not just Juanito. You'll have it good too, Esperanza. We're going to win this strike.
-What makes you so sure?
-Let them take it!
-Over my dead body.
-I don't want your dead body. I don't want you back in jail either.
-But it's yours. I won't let them ...
-It's not fair ... I should be there with them. After all, I'm the one who got the women the vote.
-No.
-But the motion passed. It's ... it's not democratic of you to ...
-The union don't run my house. Those Anglo dames stirred you up to make fools of yourselves -- but you don't see any of them down there.
-Yes, I do. There's Ruth Barnes.
-She's the organizer's, wife. She's got to be there.
-NO, she wants to be there. And there's Mrs. Kalinsky.
-There's Jenkins' wife. You don't see her on no picket line.
-Anglo husbands can also be backward.
-Can be what?
-You all right?
-Must've been some experience for you, huh?
-Yes.
-I guess you got enough today to last a lifetime, huh?
-You might get hurt. Listen, if you think I'm gonna play nursemaid from now on, you're crazy ... I've had these kids all day!
-I'm telling you. I don't stay home with these kids tomorrow.
-How do you feel?
-I'm okay. But it's nice to be home.
-Four nights. How did you sleep?
-Did you have to sign a pledge? Not to go back to the line?
-But if you go back they'll lock you up again.
-We've got to have a talk, you and me.
-All right, but later. I've got a meeting now.
-A meeting?
-I waited up till midnight.
-You weren't waiting for me.
-That meeting only lasted ten minutes. The first night I'm home, and you run to the beer parlor. What is it? Can't you bear the sight of me?
-Be still ...
-Tell me.
-We can't go on this way. I just can't go on living with you. Not this way.
-Where are you going?
-Hunting.
-When?
-Sun up.
-Alone?
-No.
-Ramón -- you can't.
-Why not? I'm not needed here.
-But you are needed. Especially now -- with most of the other men away. You're captain of the stand-by squad.
-Sure, the standby squad. Stand-by for the funeral.
-Whose funeral? We're doing all right. There hasn't been a scab near the picket line for three days.
-And you know why? Because the company knows they can starve us out -- even if it takes another two, three months. What's it to them if the mine's shut down a little longer?
-It's a lot to them. They'd do anything to open that mine.
-Aah! They've got other mines. You don't see the larger picture. They've got millions. Millions. They can outlast us, and they know it.
-You mean you're ready to give up?
-Ramón were not getting weaker. We're stronger than ever before. They're getting weaker. They thought they could break our picket line. And they failed. And now they can't win unless they pull off something big, and pull it off fast.
-Like what?
-I don't know. But I can feel it coming. It's like ... like a lull before the storm. Charley Vidal says ...
-Charley Vidal says! Don't throw Charley Vidal up to me!
-Charley's my friend. I need friends. Why are you afraid to have me as your friend?
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-No, you don't. Have you learned nothing from this strike? Why are you afraid to have me at your side? Do you still think you can have dignity only if I have none?
-You talk of dignity? After what you've been doing?
-Yes. I talk of dignity. The Anglo bosses look down on you, and you hate them for it. "Stay in your place, you dirty Mexican" -- that's what they tell you. But why must you say to me, "Stay in your place." Do you feel better having someone lower than you?
-Whose neck shall I stand on, to make me feel superior? And what will I get out of it? I don't want anything lower than I am. I'm low enough already. I want to rise. And push everything up with me as I go ...
-Will you be still?
-This is what we've been waiting for.
-What are you saying?
-Why didn't you support her? You're the worst of the lot.
-But honey ...
-We can't think of them just as housewives -- but as allies. And we've got to treat them as such.
-Look who's talking! The Great White Father, and World's Champion of Women's Rights.
-Aw, cut it out, Ruth.
-Don't horse me. Price of zinc's never been higher. They don't want no strike -- not with their war boom on.
-Then why's the company hanging tough? They've signed contracts with other locals -- why not this one?
-Because most of us here are Mexican- Americans! Because we want equality with Anglo miners -- the same pay, the same conditions.
-Exactly. And equality's the one thing the bosses can't afford. The biggest club they have over the Anglo locals is, "Well -- at least you get more than the Mexicans."
-Hear those deputies slugged 'Cente.
-Go on. Spill it.
-Well, you're the organizer. You work out strike strategy -- and most of the time you're dead right. But when you figure everything the rank-and-file's to do down to the last detail, you don't give us anything to think about. You afraid we're too lazy to take initiative?
-You know I don't think that.
-That's all right -- it's no secret. My name's Hartwell. I'm from the company's Eastern office.
-You mean Delaware?
-No. New York.
-New York? You're not the Company President by any chance?
-No ...
-Too bad. The men've always wanted to get a look at the President. But you've come out here to settle the strike?
-Well, if that's possible ...
-It's possible. Just negotiate.
-What are you doing here? Something wrong with Mama?
-I thought maybe you forgot...
-Forgot what?
-Luís! Come down here!
-Where's your mama?
-Boy! Did you see the way Mama whopped that deputy with her shoe? Knocked the gun right out ...
-Papa, can't I leave now? There's a meeting of the Junior Shop Stewards ...
-The what!
-The Junior Shop Stewards. There's lots of ways we can help.
-Don't I have enough troubles without them shipping you off to reform school?
-But Papa -- you need all the help you can get.
-You've got to help around the house!
-But you've got me doing everything. Mama never used to make me dry the ...
-Ramón ... listen for the love of God ...
-You ... You ... I'd expect it of an Anglo, yes ... but you ...
-Ramón ... listen to me ... I'm in a jam ... I had to get a job ...
-You Judas ... blood-sucker ...
-Ramón -- listen my kids ...
-Tú! Traidor a tu gente! Rompehuelga! Desgraciado!
-My kids don't have enough to eat!
-You think my kids have enough to eat, you rat?
-I know, it's wrong. Just let me go. I'll leave town ... just let me go.
-But you don't pull a strike when the bosses want it -- so they can smash your union. You wait till you're ready, so you can win.
-And another thing. Your attitude toward Anglos. If you're gonna be a leader ...
-What attitude?
-You lump them all together -- Anglo workers and Anglo bosses.
-He's a guest in my house, isn't he?
-Sure. But you want the truth? You're even suspicious of him.
-What you want to do is go back the way you came and make a left at the bottom. It'll take you right to the highway.
-That's it?
-Are you Australian?
-No.
-You got a bathroom I can use before we hit the road?
-Yeah? First door on the right. It ain't that dirty. Just kinda' filthy is all.
-No, I don't mind. That's how come I told you about it.
-Bobby?
-What?
-Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Rhymes with Simmy.
-Yeah.
-What can I do for you?
-What?
-Fuck man. Come on, Bobby.
-All I saw was the headlights. The high beams were on.
-Not even a guess?
-Yeah, but he was in silhouette.
-How about in the house?
-They were wearing ski masks. I told you all of this.
-Did you see his hair color?
-What is it?
-Ride 'em cowboy)
-You like that?
-Who wouldn't?
-First rate, ain't it?
-I wanna do a small buy first. Ten thousand. We'll see how it goes.
-Why? The guys is ready to deal now.
-Because I don't know him and I don't really know you, partner.
-Now that's down-right insulting.
-I guess I don't have a hell of a lot of choice.
-Yeah.
-Everything go?
-Yeah.
-Just make sure you come alone. This guy won't like any surprises
-I ain't a idiot, asshole.
-Look...I'd like to help you out ... but I really don't want to get involved.
-Jesus, I look like a raccoon.
-Oh God.
-How?
-What about the guy on the very bottom?
-Leave me out of this.
-Could be worse. Oh sorry, forgot who I was talking to.
-Don't worry, he's probably passed out with his head in the toilet by now.
-This man sounds like a real catch.
-Oh, he's a keeper all right.
-What?
-Nothing.
-Go ahead.
-Look, it's really none of my business but why don't you just dump this guy?
-It's not that easy.
-Don't tell me, down deep he's really not a bad person and you don't want to see him get hurt.
-Who the fuck are you, Dr. Joyce Brothers? I hate the son-of-a-bitch.
-Then leave.
-I can't.
-Why not?
-You don't understand.
-There's nothing to understand. The guy is a pig.
-I can't leave.
-You get off on abuse or something?
-Fuck you.
-Then why don't you leave? Just give me one good reason.
-Why don't you call the cops?
-Why? They don't hold him for more than a day or two.
-That's long enough to get out of town.
-Then make sure he gets put away for longer.
-Oh. Hi.
-What happened to your eye?
-Turns out I'm allergic to steel-toed boots. Go figure. By the way, I'm not looking for a matching set. Where's Quincey?
-Don't worry. He's out of town.
-How far out of town?
-Miles Davis. "All Blues."
-Never heard of him.
-Just a fucked-up guy who played beautiful music.
-Like you?
-Dude played his soul right out the end of the horn. No false notes. Always honest.
-And you admire that?
-Is that how you play?
-: What are you up to?
-Nothing.
-What do you want from me, Colette?
-I don't want anything. Why are you so suspicious?
-It gets me through the day.
-Look, I can't help you with Quincey if that's what you're after.
-This has nothing to do with him.
-So you're just attracted to me, is that it?
-Yes. Why do you find that so hard to believe?
-How much time do you have?
-What is wrong with you?
-You've got a comeback for everything, don't you, Danny? You use 'em like some sort of shield.
-Who the fuck are you? Dr. Joyce Brothers?
-There you go again. You're nothing but false notes.
-You don't like the tune, find another station.
-What are you hiding, Danny?
-You think you're the only one down here with a sad story?
-Who is it?
-It's me.
-I'm kind of busy.
-We been through that.
-What about a battered woman's shelter? You can move you kid in with you.
-I need my paycheck.
-You can still work.
-He knows where I work.
-It's not that easy. I just got a raise. I need the money.
-From day one. I was a breach birth. They tried for hours to turn my little butt around. But I wouldn't let 'em.
-Ass first into the world.
-Why not?
-What's wrong, Danny?
-No. I want to know what the hell is going on.
-No, you're wrong, I tried to tell myself the same thing but I could have gotten up. I could have done something.
-They would have killed you too.
-Really, I don't want to.
-What is it?
-Never mind. Just do what I say. He holds out the baggie. Colette backs away.
-Will you do that? Then I want you to get out of the room.
-Why?
-You're good, princess. I'll give you that.
-Colette, go.
-I don't want to leave you.
-I knew that if these were the guys I was looking for, I'd have to set up a deal so sweet, they wouldn't be able to walk away from it.
-That's when he called me. He told me his story and he pitched me a plan.
-How you holding up?
-I'm fine. Little nervous...little disappointed that I didn't finish this myself.
-Oh shit
-What?
-Who is it?
-All right, Nancy, how'd you track me down?
-Closure? How do you find closure when her killers are still running around out there?
-I found forgiveness in my heart for the people who killed my daughter. I gave my grief to Jesus Christ.
-Is that what you want me to do? Put it all on Jesus? Let him sort it out in the afterlife?
-You've got to deal with this sooner or later, Tom. You can't keep hiding.
-Maybe I am dealing with it.
-I'm genuinely happy that you found some peace, Nancy. But you can't forgive for Liz. No one can. And you can't forgive for me.
-Your hatred makes them stronger and you weaker.
-I don't buy that. There's a place for hatred. Did you know that Liz and I got into an argument the night she was killed? I acted like an ass and I never had a chance to apologize to her. Do you know what that feels like?
-It's not too late to show her you're sorry.
-How the hell did we get this detail?
-What time is it?
-Twelve
-Where to?
-I know a guy.
-Nice day
-I hadn't noticed. I've seen you around. What's your name?
-Jimmy. Everyone calls me Jimmy the Finn.
-Why's that?
-My features. They're Finnish.
-You don't say.
-Finland is a country.
-Nice dealer you got there, Jimmy.
-I'm hurting.
-You on a roll?
-Was. I'm on the fucking ghost train right now, man. You got anything for me?
-Sorry.
-Why does it have to feel so bad?
-That's a good one.
-I'm serious, dude. You always seem to be on top of things, even when you're tweakin'.
-So, why'd you want to see me?
-Business. I need to leave town and I find myself in dire need of some cash.
-What?
-You. You're smooth. You use words like dire and shit. You got language skills, man.
-Don't get carried away.
-You remember that guy you told me about ... said he could handle a big hook-up?
-Yeah, Pooh-Bear. Dude is a big-time cook. I'm talking dire.
-A quarter? Danny that ain't even worth ...
-Fuuuuuck
-Can your man handle that?
-I think so. I mean, we'd have to talk to him.
-Can you set that up?
-I'm getting a 10% finder's fee from my man if I can get the right price.
-Jimmy, where do you find these people?
-You wanna score some go-fast?
-Hey, why do you need a gun and a vest anyway?
-You know, Jimmy, you might as well put a sign on the back of this thing asking the cops to pull you over.
-You mean, like to throw 'em off?
-Yeah, that's what I mean. Where the hell does this guy live anyway?
-Palmdale
-Why do they call him Pooh-Bear?
-I think on account of his nose.
-You're going to have to explain that one.
-He doesn't have one.
-You ever see Queen Elizabeth sleep?
-You want a hit?
-Can I ask you something?
-Sure, Jimmy.
-What does J.F.K. stand for?
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
-Was he the president?
-Danny?
-Yes, Jimmy.
-What's this?
-Tem thousand dollars. Everything I could spare. It's for you.
-But why? You only owe me five. And that's not till after we close the deal tonight.
-Okay
-Wait till I tell you what it is.
-Why?
-Jimmy, look, there's something I have to tell you.
-What the hell is that?
-What?
-But...I've seen you.
-When? When did you ever see me use?
-This isn't like that Queen Elizabeth question, is it?
-No one ever noticed?
-But... why? Why would you pretend?
-I can't tell you.
-You don't trust me?
-I don't trust anybody.
-Wait If you don't trust me, why did you tell me that stuff about not using drugs?
-I don't know... a little. I wish you would have let me in on it from the beginning.
-Nah... I want to keep it. Maybe I can use it for like, inspiration ...you know...like when I detox?
-Wouldn't be a favor if you were paying me. I'll just take my five when the deal is done.
-Then why don't I see any pictures Of me up there?
-That was my idea.
-By not disgracing her memory!
-What does that mean?
-You don't understand.
-I'm gonna get this developed and send it to the Warren Commission.
-Um, I think the Warren Commission has been closed for a while.
-Yeah, I uh, have a buyer who's looking for about a quarter's worth.
-Crank or glass?
-I'm sorry. Would you like a taste?
-No, I'm good.
-Not bad.
-Can we talk price?
-Make me an offer.
-I don't know, 14,000 a kilo?
-I deal in U.S. pounds, friend. None of that faggot metric crap for me.
-Okay ... How about um .. 6,000 a ounce.
-You're serious?
-Anything for a dear friend.
-But I just met you.
-So that's 40 lbs. at 6 a pound then?
-If you say so.
-Maybe you're the one who isn't taking me seriously.
-Why do you say that?
-I welcome you here with open arms and you got the nerve to low-ball me like some slick used car salesman.
-Hey, I was just trying to ...
-I want to tell you about the last guy who tried to jam me up on a deal.
-You want to do this some other time?
-Pull your pants down.
-I'm sorry?
-Come on, guys ...
-Pooh-Bear. come on, man. What is this? It's me, Danny. I thought we had a deal.
-Captain Steubing thinks you might work for the police.
-Don't address me. I didn't make the accusation.
-Please .. I don't know what you're ...
-Shoot him.
-Now get talkin'
-CAN I PULL MY FUCKING DICK OUT?!
-I ought to just call this whole thing off right now.
-Don't do that. Please. Or I'll kill you. Please, Danny.
-What the hell was that? Who told you I was five-0?
-Did it ever occur to you that someone might cop to something they didn't do rather than have their balls chewed off by a rabid weasel?
-What the hell is this?
-Just some buddies.
-This is bullshit. You didn't say anything about anybody else being here.
-Cool it. We got business.
-I've got a hot one.
-You go, boy.
-Feeling the paranoia tonight, are we?
-You got a name?
-Bobby, rhymes with hobby.
-What?
-Never mind. Dude had a backfull of jailhouse tatts.
-No last name?
-Yeah. Pretty sure. Oh yeah ... he had a spear gun, too.
-God damn, Flynne, you are one observant tweaker.
-Danny, I'm touched.
-You think I'm a Judas?
-Hard to compare the people you're taking down with the Lord.
-Garcetti thinks I'm a pile of shit.
-Thanks for not judging me.
-It's not my place.
-Don't you wonder why I do it?
-You don't find that repugnant?
-Just the way the world works. Look, as far as tweakers go, you aren't a bad guy. You never hurt anyone but yourself as far as I know.
-Tell that to Bobby ... and his wife and kid.
-I was getting to it.
-If he finds out it's me, I'm a dead man.
-Look, we'll talk to the A.D.A.
-When?
-What the hell are you doing here?
-Question is, what are you doing here?
-I was trying to score some dope.
-Cut the shit, Flynne.
-Someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?
-You think this is funny motherfucker?
-I met the guy at a party. He said he wanted to do a biggie. He's new in town so I offered my services.
-This chink have a name?
-You better not be blowing smoke up My ass, Flynne.
-What're your taking down?
-Did you really think you were slick enough to pull this off?
-You've got no choice.
-Whata you mean I've got no choice?
-Well, if you'd rather do a stretch in la casa grande ...
-For that old possession charge? Gimme a break.
-Bullshit. He's a liar.
-News-flash, Tanner. I'm a fucking rat.
-That's because he doesn't have one.
-Whata you mean? He told me -
-Guy scores dope and dollar from ripping off other drug dealers. As least that's what the word is.
-What's to stop him from just ripping me off then?
-What? Is it bad?
-I'm afraid so, Danny.
-That's real sweet, Garcetti. Thanks.
-Murder. Beautiful.
-Took a pig-slicker to the heart.
-Jesus.
-I thought you'd be happy.
-Danny?
-Whatever you say, man. Look ... can we talk about this?
-Please ... don't do this ...
-This the guy?
-That's him. He's a lot prettier in person though.
-Cut to the fucking chase, Flynne.
-Dude is bugging. Transparent spiders, plastic men - the whole nine yards.
-Then why didn't you help the kid when you were there?
-I'll tell you why you didn't help - because you're a chickenshit tweaking snitch. You're a bottom feader, Flynne.
-Danny, it's really pains me to have to tell you this, but do you remember DOMINGO, that wetback you helped us put away for trafficking a few months back?
-Yeah. What about him?
-Turns out he's connected.
-To who?
-The Mexicali Boys
-He knows somebody ratted him.
-What?!
-Fuck you, Garcetti. I been at this for almost a year. I've done everything you guys have asked of me.
-We know what's going on.
-Jimmy?
-Who the hell is Jimmy?
-He's the only one I told.
-What's on the other end of this thing?
-Now that I can help you with. Nasty boy ... goes by the name of Pooh-Bear. He's a chef. Check with Palmdale P.D. I'm sure they're keeping box scores on the guy.
-Sounds like you hooked up with some fine citizens, Flynne.
-What's that smell?
-That would be me.
-What'd you do, piss your pants?
-Who'd have thought it? Danny "Chickenshit" Flynne trying to go large right under our noses.
-Lay off, Garcetti. I'm not in the mood.
-Excuse me?
-Several possession charges, but nothing major.
-Why doesn't Palmdale P.D. just raid the guy?
-You're lucky, Flynne.
-Funny, I don't feel lucky.
-We're coordinating with Palmdale P.D.. We'll have your sorry ass covered.
-Speaking of which ... you run that license plate for me?
-Come on! Who is it? Domingo's boys?
-When is the deal going down?
-You know, I'm starting to think I'd rather take my chances with Domingo than go through any more of this shit.
-Nervous?
-A virtuoso rendition. TOM VAN ALLEN is nothing short of dazzling in his interpretation of Miles Davis' haunting, moody piece.
-Thank you. Thank you very much.
-And he has a really hot ass with hardly any hair on it.
-Again, I thank you.
-You, madam, are a heartless wench.
-And you've got wiener breath.
-Really?
-Tom, let's spend the night here.
-There's no motels around here.
-Why didn't you just ask for directions back there?
-Come on, where's your pioneer spirit?
-You mean like the Donner Party?
-Hey, do you think you could eat me if you had to? And if so, which part do you think you would find the most delicious?
-Tom, quit fucking around.
-You think that's a good idea?
-What do you mean?
-First you want me to ask for directions, then you don't. Which is it?
-I wanted you to ask back there. You know, before you got us lost.
-Just no pleasing you, is there?
-Just admit you're wrong.
-We all know how much you like hearing that. Okay, Liz, I was wrong. There. You happy?
-Quit feeling sorry for yourself, Tom. It gets old.
-No. You know what gets old? Being reminded what a loser you are every time you screw up.
-Here it comes, poor Tom.
-But that's okay, Liz, you're the one with the steady job, you pay all the bills. I'm just an unemployed musician. You have every right.
-My sentiments exactly.
-You thinking what I'm thinking?
-And believe me, word will get out that you're a pro rat.
-Golly, I hadn't thought of that.
-She's 57 and she's been teaching third grade for the last 33 years.
-We're in business.
-Just make sure you hit the floor when we come in. It could get ugly in there.
-Where's Bubba?
-Danny, listen up. Here's the deal ... my wife's pimp knows a guy who works at Cedars Sinai medical lab. They're getting a very special delivery a week from this Friday.
-What is it, drugs?
-What is that? Rum and coke?
-Don't worry about it.
-I just want to be straight on the details. Can I taste it?
-Jesus Jimmy, you at the alpha team.
-Find a chaplain.
-Report.
-Sector four is secured, we put out the last three German one-fifty-fives, found them about two miles in from Ponte du Hoc.
-Resistance?
-A company, Wehrmacht, no artillery, we took twenty-three prisoners, turned them over to intelligence.
-Casualties?
-They didn't want to give up those one-fifty-fives, sir.
-It was a hard assignment, that's why you got it.
-Yes, sir.
-Where are your men now?
-Pinned down, a mile east of here, waiting for some help from the navy guns.
-I'm sending Simpson to take over for you, the division is going to Caen, you're not coming with us, I have something else for you.
-Sir?
-There's a Private James Ryan who parachuted in with the Hundred-and- First near Ramelle. I want you to take a squad up there. If he's alive, bring him back to the beach for debarkation. Take whoever you need, you've got your pick of the company.
-A private, sir?
-He's the last of four brothers, the other three were killed in action. This is straight from the Chief of Staff.
-But, sir...I...I...
-Spit it out, Captain.
-Alright, I'll give you that. Continue.
-Good luck, John.
-So, where are you from?
-You writin' a book or somethin'?
-As a matter of fact, I am.
-I'm Jackson. I'm from West Fork, Tennessee. My pappy's a preacher. Him and his two brothers got a ministry, The Blessed Church of the Wandering Gospel.
-In West Fork?
-In the back of a nineteen and thirty- one stretch Hudson with a big ole' trailer.
-No kidding.
-I don't make jokes about things of, or related to, the preaching of the Holy Gospel, including the ministerial calling of my family.
-So they travel around from place to place and preach?
-We got us a tent, forty-two feet across, eighteen feet at center, hundred-and-ten foldin' chairs. Circuit's eleven towns, covers all 'a Hasset County and most 'a Weller County. I expect that upon completion of my military service I will be joinin' said ministry.
-Thirty-ought-six, Norton long-barrel with dual-groove, parallel rifling, elevated three-glass scope and a single-throw hammer.
-The Army gave you that?
-Yep.
-You must be a hell a shot.
-That must be four thousand yards.
-Forty-two-hundred, I figure.
-Did you see what he did, back there? He stepped right into the open, so I could get across.
-Jackson?
-No one's gonna win the money for the simple reason that the Captain never was a civilian. They assembled him at O.C.S. out of spare body parts from dead G.I.'s. I know this for a fact.
-You got somethin' against the Cap'n?
-If we find Ryan and he's still alive, that son-of-a-bitch is gonna carry this goddamned B.A.R. back to the beach for me.
-Army life is too dang easy, my feet have gone soft. Back home, we go out squirrel huntin', I walk forever and a day and then some, don't even raise a blister.
-Reiben, how many time I got to tell you, I'm from Tennessee.
-Last I knew.
-Fuck Private James Ryan, fuck him, just fuck the goddamned son-of-a- bitch.
-Shut up, will you?
-You shut up, this is the most fucked up mission I ever heard of. Goddamned Ryan, fuck the little bastard.
-Just shut up, Ryan didn't kill Wade.
-You know what the best possible thing that could happen is?
-So, that's Ryan.
-He's right, we can't shoot him...well, we could but we'd get in an enormous amount of trouble. And he's right about the bridge, it's a hell of a lot more important than he is.
-Yes, sir.
-Y'all come back.
-Reiben, are you makin' fun 'a the way I talk?
-What do you think?
-I think I'm we got that eighty-eight.
-He ain't half-bad, I guess.
-He ain't Wade.
-Well, I'll be goddamned, I knew it.
-No kiddin'?
-Me? I'm walking with my hound, Lucy, it's about an hour 'fore sunrise and we're out huntin' coon. I got me a flask of pure Kentucky mash whiskey...
-Jackson, how many times I got to tell you, you're from Tennessee.
-Captain, my feet are most uncomfortable. If I'd 'a known we was gonna have to walk all the way to Ramelle, I never would 'a volunteered for this here mission.
-You didn't volunteer, Jackson.
-Sir, I have an opinion on this matter.
-I'd love to hear it.
-Reiben, I want you to listen closely to Jackson. This is the way to gripe. Jackson, continue.
-Yes, sir. It seems to me, sir, that the entire resources of the United States Army oughta be dedicated to one thing and one thing only, and that is to put me and this here weapon on a rooftop, smack-dab in the middle of Berlin, Germany. Now I ain't one to question decisions made up on high, sir, but it seems to me that
-Where?
-In the shadow by those two trees.
-We left them eighty-eights.
-Watching.
-What the hell's the matter with you, Jackson?
-Sir, I ain't feeling so chipper on account of Wade.
-Sir, I understand what you're doin', but I respectfully request permission to grieve in my own manner.
-You'll grieve the way I tell you to goddamned grieve. There is no Wade, there was one, but he died a long time ago, he's been dead for so long you can hardly remember his name, you understand?
-Sir, I understand. I don't like it, but I understand.
-Not yet.
-I'm in my backyard, lying in my hammock, with my arm around my wife, listening for the sound of breaking glass.
-Say what, Cap'n?
-You see, I've got the best house in all of Addley. It's not the biggest house, but it's got the best location, right next to the junior high baseball field. The garage windows face left field. The guy who owned the house before me had these heavy screen S put over them. The first thing I did when I bought the place was take
-Don't that get kind of expensive, Cap'n?
-It's worth it.
-Sorry, sir, fresh out of trucks, how 'bout a '38 Ford Roadster, hard-top, red with black interior.
-White-walls?
-No white-walls, sir, there's a war on. NOT THERE, YOU GODDAMNED IDIOT, OVER THERE! I can't help you, sir.
-A half-track, anything.
-How about that jeep?
-A paratrooper named Ryan. He's going home, if he's alive.
-Senator's son?
-I know about bracketing. I read about it. The next one is going to land right on us.
-You can tell all that, just by the sound, sire?
-Glad of it.
-On the other side of the street, crouches in a doorway with Jackson. Upham is a bit in shock, less from the nearness of the bullets than from what Miller just did for him.
-Sir, I'm sorry about what happened, I...
-It was nothing.
-But you could have gotten killed and I...
-Upham?
-Pass.
-I wasn't made for this.
-It looks like a Renoir.
-Yes. Do you know Sibelius' Fourth Symphony, The Normandy?
-I've been humming it.
-I heard.
-It seemed appropriate.
-You know classical music?
-Some.
-Over three-hundred.
-I'll tell you what, if I'm still alive when it hits five-hundred, I'll let you know and we'll split the money.
-If that's the way you feel, why don't we wait until it's up to a thousand.
-Five nights ago, he found this paratrooper caught in a tree with a broken leg. The leg got infected. Last night he went to Ville Cholet to get a doctor. The doctor refused to come and when he got back, this is what he found. The Krauts must have shown up while he was gone.
-No, but he heard firing, just east, less that a kilometer.
-What is it?
-Good luck, Captain.
-Don't need it, I'm a cat, I've got five lives.
-The men said, nine.
-What do they know? I had nine, but I feel through the ice when I was seven, my brother pulled me out. Then I used one when a grenade landed in my foxhole in Sicily, it was a dud. I figure one on the beaches, one on the cliffs and two getting here.
-That only leaves three.
-I wonder where they're going.
-I'd like to stay, too, Captain.
-I can tell what the gunners had for dinner.
-What about our grenades?
-Those are Tigers, they have six-inch armor, they don't even notice grenades.
-Would they notice and eighty-eight?
-Sure, you got one?
-Upham, you've got to learn the difference between whining and griping. You can't just rely on natural ability, you've got to study and practice.
-But, sir...
-There you go again, that's whining, that's not okay.
-Goddamn it, sir...
-What'd you say, Captain?
-Captain, what about our deal?
-GO!
-CAPTAIN, IF YOUR MOTHER SAW YOU DO THAT, SHE'D BE VERY UPSET!
-Worked, didn't it?
-You tryin' to get yourself killed?
-Caen?
-I wish. You and I are taking a squad up to Ramelle on a public relations mission.
-You? Leading a squad?
-Some private up there lost three brothers, got a ticket home.
-What about the company?
-Simpson.
-Simpson? Jesus Christ on a fucking pogo stick!
-I want Reiben on B.A.R; Jackson with his sniper rifle; Beasley, demolition.
-Beasley's dead.
-Okay, Wade. Translators?
-Fresh out.
-What about Talbot?
-You get a translator, Captain?
-Now we've got a straight shot, due north, to Ramelle, twenty-six miles, two villages between here and there, St. Mere, then Bernay. We'll take the jeep as far as we can, then go on on foot.
-We in radio contact with anybody up there?
-A fucking mess, two maybe three Kraut divisions, no fronts, no lines, the drops were completely fouled up, we've got little pockets of paratroopers all over the place, trying to hang on. Command says we hold St. Mere, but north of that, it's all Krauts. Even if Ryan's where he's supposed to be, he's more than likely dead.
-Hell of a mission.
-Uh, Captain...
-PUSH!
-Got it, sir. We gonna go take care of those eighty-eights?
-He's right, Captain, it might be kind of dangerous for those flyboys.
-You ever going to open those letters? Miller keeps his eyes on the maps.
-Maybe.
-It's not normal, not reading letters from home.
-Since when have things been normal?
-You got me. Afraid of bad news?
-Nope.
-You think they'll be alright?
-They're fine. As long as they can gripe, they'll be alright.
-They guys here aren't going to be able to hold out until battalion shows up.
-Nope.
-Command isn't going to let them withdraw and the Germans sure as hell aren't going to let them surrender.
-Three for three.
-If we stayed, we could make a difference.
-You're kidding yourself.
-I hope this boy Ryan is worth it.
-Now you're the one kidding yourself. Hell of a mission.
-Makes you feel small, doesn't it?
-A couple of weeks. It started in Portsmouth when they brought us down for loading.
-Is it getting worse?
-No. It comes and goes. It stops when I look at it.
-You may have to find yourself a new line of work, this one doesn't seem to agree with you anymore.
-Yeah? What rule of thumb is that?
-How about I go right, sir?
-How about...?
-HOLD YOUR FIRE!
-Pulls Wade's hands from the wound. Pours sulfa powder.
-SHOVES THE NEEDLE into Wade's neck. Thick vein. Pumps the morphine straight to Wade's brain. Motions impatiently to Sarge.
-More morphine, hurry up, come on, come on...
-Hesitates. Then drops his sulfa. Fumbles in his pack. Finds the morphine.
-You alright?
-What was the name of that kid at Anzio, the one who got his face burned off?
-Vecchio.
-Yeah, Vecchio, I couldn't remember his name, he was a good kid, remember how he used to walk on his hands and sing that song about the man on flying trapeze?
-Yeah.
-You know why I'm such a good officer? Because of my mother. Have I ever told you about her?
-Bits and pieces.
-She's the best poker player you ever saw. My father used to go to these Saturday night games and lose his shirt. Finally, my mother gave him an ultimatum, either she gets a regular seat at the table or she locks him in every Saturday night. He squawked and so did his buddies but after a while they gave in and from the first
-And what about your own hand?
-No problem. A pair of deuces? Less? So what? I bluff. It used to tear me apart when I'd get one of my men killed, but what was I supposed to do? Break down in front of the ones who were standing there waiting for me to tell them what to do? Of course not, so I bluffed, and after a while, I started
-It could be worse. You know the first thing they teach you at O.C.S.? Lie to your men.
-Oh, yeah?
-Not in so many words, but they tell you you can have all the firepower in the world and if your men don't have good morale, it's not worth a damn. So if you're scared or empty or half-a-step from a Section Eight, do you tell your men? Of course not. You bluff, you lie.
-And how do you bluff yourself?
-Simple, numbers. Every time you kill one of your men, you tell yourself you just saved the lives of two, three, ten, a hundred others. We lost, what, thirty-one on the cliffs? I'll bet we saved ten times that number by putting out those guns. That's over three hundred men. Maybe five hundred. A thousand. Then thousand. Any number you want. See? It's simple.
-Except this time, the mission IS a man.
-That's the rub. I liked Wade. Who's Ryan? If they're both standing in front of me and I have to shoot one or the other, how do I choose? Look at my hand, there it goes again.
-John, I've got to tell you, I think you're about used up.
-I think you're right, Keith.
-No, but if I get any worse, you'll have to relieve me.
-You know Wade was the eleventh of the twelve, you're the last one still alive.
-I know.
-Don't let yourself get killed, if you do, they might make me give back the medal and then I won't be able to lip off to colonels anymore.
-Thanks for drawing that machine gun off me.
-You're welcome, John.
-Sarge, see what you can do to make those buildings inhospitable.
-What do you think?
-Well, if we had ten times the men and a lot more ammo, we might stand a chance, but not against those tanks.
-What are we going to do?
-Uh, oh.
-Reiben, I don't know what I'd do without you. Sarge, keep Ryan close to you and alive.
-Captain, can I put in for a transfer?
-Sir, what if they send some other company into Caen ahead of us while we're pinned down here?
-So, you ever heard of employee discounts? My uncle sells shoes, gets twenty-five percent off everything in the line, got a closet filled with the best looking shoes you ever seen.
-Just picture some French number been spending all day, every day, making cream-colored, shear-body negligees with gentle-lift silk cups and gathered empire waists, what the hell you think she wears at night?
-Reiben, how the hell do you know so much about lingerie?
-There's a war on, good chance they're not still making lingerie in Caen.
-I don't think so, Captain.
-Strides through the chaos, avoiding the passing vehicles. He sees his men and walks toward them. Reiben hurries up to Miller, pleading.
-Please, sir, you can't take me to Ramelle, I gotta go to Caen, sir, please, I told you, they make Caen lingerie there, it's beautiful, it's the best there is, it's...oh, please, sir...
-Sorry, I need a B.A.R. man, you're the best.
-No, I'm not, Kaback is, honest. Or what about Faulkner? Or that little guy with the glasses?
-Trust me, you're the best.
-Captain, can I ask you a question?
-Sure, Reiben.
-Captain, I gotta tell you, the irony of this mission is fucking killing me.
-Yeah, how so?
-I should be on my way to Caen, sir. It's like Beethoven, the guy's one of the greatest composers ever lived and he goes deaf. Go figure, I mean, who'd he piss off? And here I am, the Beethoven of ladies foundation garments, one step away from Caen, the center of the known lingerie universe and instead, I'm going to Ramelle to save some
-There's to be a bright side, look for it.
-Sir, you know what Ramelle is famous for? Cheese. The rest of the company is going to Caen and we're going to the goddamned cheese capital of France. There is no bright side.
-There's always a bright side.
-I'm listening, sir.
-General Gavin is going to be very irritated at you, Captain.
-Jesus Christ, he's a natural!
-Captain, could you please explain the math of this mission to me?
-Sure, what do you want to know?
-Well, sir, in purely arithmetic terms, since when does six equal one? What's the sense in risking six guys to save one?
-Ours is not to reason why.
-Huh?
-Never mind, don't worry, we'll pick up this kid, high-tail it back to division, everything'll work out fine.
-I'd much rather die in Caen than Ramelle, sir. It's a personal thing.
-Reiben, there's a fairly good chance you're not going to die at all.
-Well, maybe not the Captain, but the rest of us have mothers.
-Reiben, what's the matter with you? I don't gripe to you. I'm a captain. There's a chain of command. Griping goes one way, up, only up, never down. You gripe to me, I gripe to my superior officers. Up, get it? I don't gripe to you, I don't gripe in front of you. How long you been in the army?
-In addition, as I pointed out earlier, I have a fondness for cheese and I hope to have the opportunity to sample some of the Ramelle products, when we arrive there, to see if they live up to their excellent reputation. Moreover, I feel heartfelt sorrow for the mother of Private James Ryan and I'm more than willing to lay down my life, and
-Sir, if you were not a captain, I would compliment you, now, for being an excellent liar.
-Any further thoughts on the subject?
-Yes, sir, as a final note, I'd like to say, fuck our orders, fuck Ramelle, fuck the cheese capital of France and while we're at it, fuck Private James Ryan.
-Sir, I've got an idea, let's go around.
-Goddamn it...Goddamn it...Goddamn it...
-Up. We're moving out.
-I thought you said we had an hour, sir?
-I've given this a lot of thought, sir. The best thing that could happen is, we find Ryan and he's dead.
-Why's that?
-Well, sir, consider the possibilities. A: Ryan is alive. We have to take him back to the beach. Knowing you, you don't let him carry my gear, even though he really should, and we all get killed, trying to keep him alive.
-Except for the last part, that one's not bad.
-B: Ryan is dead. He's been blown up by the German equivalent of Wade, whose name I know you don't want me to mention. There's nothing to find. The biggest piece is the size of a pea. We wander around, looking for him until the Germans pick us off, one after another.
-I don't like that one.
-Neither do I, sir. C: And this is the worst one, we find Ryan and he's wounded. Not only does he not carry my gear, we have to carry his gear. And him.
-But we accomplish the mission.
-Maybe. But what if he dies on the way back? you see what I'm saying, sir? The best possible situation is, he's dead, we find his body, more or less intact, we grab one of his dog-tags and high-tail it back to the beach, or better yet, we head over to Caen and catch up with division.
-Has anyone ever told you, you're officer material?
-No, sir.
-Scans the Germans with his binoculars.
-Looks like they've been having a hell of a party, here, Captain.
-I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA. HERE WE COME. Cover me.
-What if our guys open up, sir?
-You're only allowed to shoot at Germans, that's one of the rules.
-Yes, sir, of course, sir, I was merely speaking hypothetically. IF this was a voting situation, then the vote would have been unanimous. But of course, it's not a voting situation, you're the captain, and you give the orders, sir.
-Maybe Caen.
-Leave him to me, Captain, I'll have him pissing and moaning with the best of us.
-Cocks his Thompson. Settles down behind some sandbags.
-HERE THEY COME!
-Goddamn it...Goddamn it...Goddamn it...
-What deal?
-I wonder if his cabin is still available?
-Hears the FAINT DISTANT RUMBLE OF THE TANK. Barely has time to react. Sees:
-Here they come.
-FIRES a burst. Germans drops.
-Continues FIRING. CUTTING DOWN the advancing Germans.
-Goddamn it!
-Private. I'm sorry about your brothers but staying here and getting yourself killed isn't going to help.
-Sir, if the Krauts are holding this bridge when division shows up, our guys are going to be sitting ducks.
-The hell you aren't, you're comin' with me if I have to drag you every inch of the way. You hear me, Private?
-Thank you, sir.
-Yes, sir.
-I'd like to go, sir.
-Don't do that again.
-You set? Sarge nods.
-Is jumped on by one. Upham FIRES. KILLS the German.
-Doesn't move. He just stares at Sarge's body.
-FIRES THE EIGHTY-EIGHT.
-Yes, Private.
-Upham and Jackson, what were they like?
-Upham? Good kid, smart, he was writing a book.
-Jackson was from West Fork, Tennessee, he was going to be a preacher, his father and uncles have a traveling ministry out of the back of a stretch Hudson.
-And Sarge?
-So what? I've got three satchel charges, six gammon grenades, a dozen- and-a-half pineapples, and all my regular gear. You don't hear me complaining.
-That's because, as I have pointed out on numerous occasions, you are a happy idiot.
-Oh, Christ, now we gotta listen to that grandfather thing again.
-Fine, you convince yourself you got a pack full of feathers and goddamned Private James Ryan can carry my fucking gear.
-Reiben, you can be very unpleasant to be around sometimes.
-You want unpleasant? Just wait, I can do much better than this.
-Wade's right, it's some kind of scientific, magnetic thing, I can't explain it, but I've seen it.
-Hell, I don't mind this mission, sir, as long as there's something up at Ramelle for...
-Shit, sir.
-Fertilizer, Captain, I think we're in a cranberry bog.
-Who cares?
-I care. Don't you know what Caen's famous for, Sarge?
-Frogs?
-Lingerie.
-I usually like surprises.
-Damn fool. Sir.
-Jesus, Reiben, think of the poor bastard's mother.
-So, where are you from?
-But everybody's heard of him, he won the Congressional Medal of Honor, he saved a dozen men.
-We know.
-Sir, I ran the 220 in high school.
-On guard, glancing back. Pissed off.
-Goddamn it...Goddamn it...Goddamn it...
-I don't know, I kind of like Wade's idea about the cruise ship. I've never been to Tahiti.
-Demolition, right?
-How do you do it?
-You think he really believed it?
-How fast?
-Twenty-four-five.
-I'm supposed to be leaving on a fellowship that I worked for my entire life. I don't even care. I met this boy over the summer, and I, I can't see him because of this, I can't talk to him, I can't talk to my father about... I wore these clothes, I thought, I thought that if I looked right and if I acted
-We believe that your father operates in a large pool of cash that comes from phoney billings, phoney patients. We've been investigating him for five years. We believe that when they die, he takes their money.
-Pardon me?
-Look, why don't you check it out for yourself? See if your father fits the profile.
-What's the profile?
-Well, take a look around the house. Is everything nice, but not too nice? Are there lots of, uh, rugs, pieces of art, stereo equipment, uh, furniture, a lot of things bought with cash? Does he give a lot of gifts? Do the major items in your house cover around the nine thousand-dollar range?
-You're trying to get me to say something, that's why you're telling me all of this.
-Don't let your father's business infect your life.
-How can you, how can you say that?
-Because he's guilty.
-No, no he's not.
-Jesus. What, I live in a palace, right? I have guests here.
-Understanding the following rights...
-Speak with my lawyer.
-So you refuse to answer my questions?
-Just come down to my place of business, for god's sake. I have people here.
-Mr Court, be aware that we will be contacting a number of your business associates...
-This evening is over.
-The, uh, Cynthia Branson estate was worth how much? Because her family...
-What family? We never heard from them. I sold her house for them, made them money.
-Hmmm. Your income, Mr Court, hasn't changed substantially in seventeen years.
-That's right.
-Why would you stay so long with an operation that is so clearly not a growth enterprise?
-Hi.
-Is it a gift for your wife? Are you getting a set together?
-No, I'm not married. It's for my daughter.
-For going to school?
-Yeah, she won a fellowship.
-Good for her.
-I'll take the whole set.
-Thanks, I like yours too.
-I'm sorry, but they turned down your card.
-Oh yeah, let me give you another card.
-Keep it.
-You're sure?
-Lloyd?
-Hey, sis.
-It's no problem. I called Mom and Dad in Germany; it's like they were there.
-I hope you understand.
-Why do you eat that stuff? There's no food in your food. Not too loud, the red line's there for a reason.
-How do you know how to draw the red line anyway?
-Because it's loud enough so the neighbors don't complain, that's how come I know.
-Why can't you be his uncle and not his playmate?
-Jesus Christ. I get in a good mood. How hard is it just to decide to be in a good mood, and then be in a good mood?
-Gee, it's easy.
-Look, I'm really sorry that Mom and Dad made you take me in. Really. If it's such a big deal, I'll go. But remember this, it used to be fun. It used to be warped, twisted and hilarious, and I mean that in the best possible way, I mean it as a compliment. I mean, I'm sorry T-I-M left you. But I am not
-I was hilarious once, wasn't I?
-Yeah.
-You're tough, J-man.
-I'll be in my office.
-No, no, don't go in there.
-Hello Constance. It's me, Lloyd... nothing, I'm just driving around... she broke up with me... what do I do? Can't she come back? How can I get her back?... I can't think, talk to me... I fucked up... I feel like crying... she gave me a pen. I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.
-Lloyd, honey, just come home, okay?
-That's unlikely.
-The movies are a good second date, you know, as a date?
-But you never had a first date.
-Yes I did- I sat across from her in a mall. We ate together. We ate, that's eating, sharing an important physical event.
-That's not even a scam.
-What's a scam?
-Then what's love?
-I'm gonna call her.
-Sounds great to me, I'm going to call her, that's what's cool about her.
-Look at those eyes.
-Lloyd, give it up.
-Do me a favor; take a picture of me with her.
-Lloyd.
-C'mon, just do it.
-C'mon Lloyd.
-Please?
-That's just so embarrassing.
-Wait for me for when I get round to the front.
-You are such a great person Lloyd. I'm a good person, but you are a great person.
-Hang in there, man.
-Yes.
-See you tomorrow.
-Did you sleep with her?
-Alright, alright, alright, calm down, alright, calm down. Nothing's different.
-Lloyd, listen to me. EVERYTHING has changed. You've had sex. No matter what you might think, nothing will ever be the same between you two. You might be sixty. You might be walking down the street, and you'll talk to her about something, whatever. But what you'll really be thinking is 'We had sex'.
-So, what's your point?
-Alright.
-Lloyd, send her flowers, write her a letter. Something.
-What does it say?
-I draw the line at seven un-returned phone calls.
-No, you're not a guy.
-I am.
-The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy.
-I don't feel anything.
-Come on, it's graduation.
-Did you see what Mr Carroll wrote in my yearbook? Well, he ridiculed me all year long, and then he writes, "You're a real live-wire, Love Mr Carroll." Y'know, it's all so phoney.
-He wants to leave things on a good note.
-Trapped in the body of a gameshow hostess.
-I wouldn't get my hopes up Lloyd.
-Lloyd is doomed.
-Meaning?
-I told him to be himself.
-Lloyd, it's us.
-Look at his face, he did the deed.
-Wait a minute.
-You've got to show her respect, you've got to show her that you're not like Joe...
-Wait a minute.
-And above all, just because this happened gives you no right whatsoever...
-You know I just sit here listening, and you never let me talk.
-What? I'm sorry, talk.
-"Dear Diane, I'll always be there for you, all the love in my heart, Lloyd." I've never gotten a letter like this, have you?
-I wrote sixty-three songs this year. They're all about Joe, and I'm going to play every single one of them tonight.
-I just saw Joe. He's here.
-Why?
-It's too much pressure, it's not his crowd.
-Hey, I know this is a strange thing to say, but maybe Diane Court really likes Lloyd.
-I can't give you that. This guy's been ripping off grandma and grandpa for seventeen years. He's been getting it from every end. I'd love to hear his story.
-One hundred thousand dollar fine and three months?
-One hundred and twenty-five thousand and nine months.
-I can accept that.
-And I want to turn the home over to the state.
-He'd like to start serving immediately.
-I can put that together.
-Confirm this with my office and my client.
-I'll put this past my boss
-Lloyd, she's being difficult.
-That was a mistake. The rain on my car is a baptism. The new me. Iceman, power Lloyd. My assault on the world begins now. Believe in myself, answer to no one... You probably got it all figured out, Corey. If you start out depressed, everything's kind of a pleasant surprise.
-Visit her at the home.
-I'm not going back there. I don't even know who you're talking about.
-Lloyd, why do you have to be like this?
-Well, it's almost over. We've gone to school together for three years... I might cut that part out.
-Having taken a few courses at the university this year, I have glimpsed our future, and all I can say is... go back.
-Ha! Go back! What a great line!
-You like it?
-Oh yeah!
-I didn't think anyone would get it.
-Oh no, no, it's... it's wonderful. It's... no, don't worry about it. You're very funny. Go back, that's great!
-Alright, no more, I'm going to save it.
-Ha!
-Dad, you have to teach me to suture this weekend.
-What are you doing?
-God, that's... this is ridiculous.
-Now this is the only thing your mother ever gave me that I kept. Now it's yours. Go ahead, open it.
-They really applauded you today honey.
-I was standing up there and looking at all the people, and I felt like they didn't know me. I mean, maybe I shouldn't have taken all those courses out of school, because everybody thinks I... forget it.
-No, wait a minute. Everybody thinks you're what?
-Everybody thinks I'm a priss.
-Diane, in a million years, you could never be a... priss. It's all working out for you honey, don't you see? It's all working out, just like we planned. All the years of summer school, all the vacations you gave up, it's all working out just the way we planned...
-Stop it, stop it, stop it.
-I'm sorry.
-I love you dad.
-What?
-I just had a phone call.
-Tell me, is it bad news?
-No, no, just listen. You won the Wreath fellowship.
-Are you kidding? You're not kidding? You're not kidding!
-You won it. You're going to study at the finest institute at England, the toughest fellowship in the country, and you won.
-I won?
-God, I'll have to go on a plane.
-Don't do this to me. You're too good at making me nervous.
-Morning honey.
-Dad, I'm so glad I went. Goodnight.
-Wait a minute. How was Lloyd?
-Lloyd was such a gentleman. He was funny and nervous and strange, and I met people that I never would have met before, then I blew it. I called him basic. Can you believe I did that?
-Goodnight.
-She's not the world's greatest flyer, let me tell you. When she was eight years old, she...
-Dad.
-Well, let me start it. I'm flying down to Los Angeles on business, and I decide to take her on her first aeroplane.
-I knew how planes flew, but I was still a little nervous.
-So anyway, they closed the doors, and she starts to scream. I've never in my life heard anyone scream quite like that.
-And then you got up and you told them to turn the plane around.
-Which they did. Let me finish.
-Okay, I give up.
-Oh yeah. There was, uh, somebody on the plane worked in a recording studio, and, uh, we got this telephone call, this guy is making a sound effects record, and he'd gotten our address and he wanted to know if he could come over and record her scream.
-Morning.
-Dad, I'm sorry.
-You should be.
-I was irresponsible, I should have called.
-You bet you should have called. You still live at home. Don't make me call the police at three-thirty in the morning, don't make me call hospitals.
-Dad, I'm so sorry. I know this is a bad time.
-You've always called before, always. Now I'm not asking what you did, I just want to know that you're alright.
-I'm fine.
-Do you wanna make things easier on me? Now tell me where you were because this is, this is bullshit. You can say anything to me, I hope you still know that.
-Lloyd?
-Dad, yes. And I'm scared to death of what you must think of me right now.
-Did he ever get rough with you?
-Dad, maybe I shouldn't go with all that's happening to you.
-You're going.
-But listen, if I had a friend in the same position, I would tell her to delay a year.
-You're going.
-It doesn't feel right to me. I, I don't even have the right luggage yet.
-Bon voyage.
-You're not listening to me.
-Diane! Alright, let's stop this right now. Let's not put our energy into something ridiculous. This isn't even smart thinking.
-Do you love him?
-I like him a lot.
-Unbelievable. This is a nightmare.
-Diane, you owe it to yourself to get on that plane with no attachments, no strings, because after you get over there, things are going to change. People change.
-Dad, you and I have talked about this. Lloyd and I have talked about this. Believe me, this is well-covered territory.
-Dad, in a million years, I would never give him a pen. What's wrong with having some fun? I like him.
-'I like him'? Diane, I'm talking about being honest with people, being decent...
-If I pick it up, we'll only get back together.
-Dad, are you okay in there?
-What happened to you?
-Dad, did you do it? Did you take that money?
-Sweetheart, no. Don't be ridiculous.
-Swear to god, I need to know the truth.
-Honey!
-Swear to god.
-I swear to god.
-But I found the money.
-Honey, it's not what you think.
-What am I supposed to think?
-Honey, about what?
-You stole from them, you lied to me. How do you think that's supposed to make me feel?
-You think you know what this money is?
-Yes, I...
-No, you don't know what it is. It's not for me. This money's for you, for when you come back from England with honors to set you up, so you don't have to depend on anybody again. Diane, I take better care of these people than their families do. I care for them, I give them flowers, I feed them, I wipe their mouths...
-No, but you stole from them.
-I made their lives better.
-You let me believe you. You knew you were guilty, and you let me become a part of it. God, how... how could you...
-Alright, alright. Go ahead. When I'm old, give me someone like me, but go ahead.
-I trusted you. I stood up in court five years ago and I picked you.
-Why are you being so hateful to me? Is this because of Lloyd?
-No. I told you everything, you lied to me. I would have done anything for you.
-That's right, work it out.
-No, I will. I don't want to leave something out because I know I can say anything to you. You're a liar, and a thief.
-Take it easy how mad you make me, I'm the only dad you've got.
-I'm so ashamed dad.
-Don't say that, it's not good for you. You're...
-Hello.
-Hi.
-Mom, please?
-Diane, I do have a history with this man, and it's not the greatest. I see you so seldom, I'd really rather know about you.
-This is me telling you about me.
-You know, I don't even know if you've got a young man in your life?
-I just wonder what could be more important than what's going on with dad.
-If we could just talk about boys everything would be so much easier. You know, your room is always ready for you, you can always come home if... alright, what do you want me to do?
-If they ask you questions, and they probably will ask you questions, would you please say something nice about him mum? Help him?
-Alright.
-You will?
-Thank-you. The real world.
-No noise, no sound, no movement, nothing! Hello, Diane?
-Hi. You called me?
-Yeah. I read about your fellowship in the paper, and I'm very glad you called me back.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. I just wanted to congratulate you on your scholarship to England, and I wanted to tell you that I thought your speech was really incredible.
-Thank you very much.
-Whoah, what a day, huh?
-Yeah. What a day.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Quick question - do you know who I am?
-Yes, we sat together at Bell's Square.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember?
-No, I read it on the message.
-Okay, um, so it's Lloyd and... uh... uh... let's go out. Do you wanna go out?
-Oh, thanks, but I'm busy.
-Busy?
-Yes. Things are pretty hectic right now, but thanks.
-Are you busy on Friday?
-Yeah, I have to help my father.
-Are you busy on Saturday?
-Saturday, I have some things to do around the house.
-So you're monumentally busy?
-Well, not monumentally.
-What about tonight then, are you going to that party at Valhere's?
-Hmmm....
-Actually, I think that I...
-Well...
-No tips. I won't give you any tips of any kind.
-I'll go.
-Pardon me?
-I'll go.
-Alright. This is really great. Alright, we're going out. It's a date. It's a scam. Whatever, whatever, alright, I'll pick you up at what, eight O' clock?
-Eight.
-Eight. Eight O' clock.
-Goodbye.
-Whoa.
-Would you hold this for me?
-What are these?
-They're Bavarian Death style pretzels.
-Oh. Um, would it be terrible if I wanted to go home early?
-Keymaster?
-Yeah, I have to judge who can drive home and who can't. I have to keep their keys.
-So it's an honor?
-So we can finally talk?
-He does this every year?
-Thank-you.
-Have a good sleep.
-Alright, this is some of the things they wrote me; "Glad I finally met you", "You always seemed nice", "Wish I could have known you more"...
-Mine say stuff like "Lloyd, see you around maybe"
-Nobody knew me before tonight.
-They knew of you. Now they know you.
-Yeah, but I feel like I fit in for the first time, you know? Like I just held them far away from me, and they did the same to me.
-That's cool then.
-It's just you and your dad, right?
-Yeah, but that's an old story, you don't want to hear it.
-Sure I do.
-Well, my parents split up when I was thirteen, and... god, I actually had to... I went into court and I had to choose between the two of them. So I chose my dad. It just felt safer that way, you know?
-Thanks. But either way it still feels...
-Twisted?
-You know what?
-What?
-You're a great date. I've never really gone out with someone as basic as you.
-Basic. Hmmm.
-So what's your job this summer?
-Job? Being a great date.
-No, I'm serious.
-So am I. I want to see you again. I want to see you as much as I can before you leave. I said it.
-I only have something like sixteen weeks.
-Sixteen weeks is a long time.
-Then call me tomorrow.
-Today is tomorrow.
-Yeah.
-Boy, this is a mother dictionary.
-Nice one.
-Yeah?
-I think you should wear that.
-You think so?
-Oh.
-After work?
-I usually have a break after the dinner service, if you want to stop by.
-Won't you see me later?
-I know you think my job is strange. You don't like old people, do you?
-Me? Sure I do.
-Come on.
-I think that's ageism, and that's, that's being prejudiced against people because they're old. Maybe their mouths don't work as well as yours.
-Stop by later.
-Okay, bye, I will.
-Okay, bye.
-You have to meet Bess.
-Okay.
-She's amazing. She's ninety-three, she's a writer, and I told her about you.
-Yes.
-What did you say?
-It's okay, everybody does that.
-I just don't want it to get too heavy. I feel really overloaded. I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. But I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just, I mean I don't know why they have to happen at the same time, I mean, I don't know why, I
-No.
-I just can't have any social life right now.
-Don't worry about it. We're just having coffee. We'll be anti- social.
-Be friends?
-Yeah. With potential.
-Yeah, just keep going first, keep going around. Get the feel of it, feel the clutch, when you put it in a little?
-Yeah.
-You know how it'll come out and feel... y'know... little more, little more... Yeah, yeah, that's right. Go round just at first, keep it in first, just feel it.
-I'm doing alright.
-Yeah. Now, when you feel like you're confident,...
-Yeah?
-If you'll just maybe ease it into second.
-Okay, this is important...
-Am I wrecking my car?
-Yeah, a little bit. Listen, this is important. When you feel it start to give, put the clutch in.
-Little more gas. Ease it up. Hold on- minor setback. Now you feel confident, right?
-Yeah.
-Now, go into second. Little more gas... Yeah! You can get this whole problem. Now, maybe you downshift to first?
-This is so noble.
-Let's get outta here. You want to?
-Are you comfortable?
-Yes. Are you shaking?
-No.
-You're shaking.
-I don't think so.
-You're cold.
-I don't think I am.
-Then why are you shaking?
-I don't know. I'm happy.
-Check your mail tomorrow. I sent you a letter, a letter.
-Your letter came yesterday.
-It did?
-Uh-huh. It was wonderful.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-It was wonderful.
-I've never sent a letter like that, you know? I mean, I felt like I wanted to tell you something, but I didn't put it in the letter, and I didn't say it, but I want to say it now, I'm not sure if I should say it, you know, 'cause people always say it and don't mean it, but I think that I
-No, we don't have to say it.
-How do you know what I'm going to say?
-I don't know what you're going to say, but I think that...
-I was just going to tell you that I love you. I said it.
-I know. Lloyd, let's not start putting things on this level.
-What? This is a good level, isn't it?
-How can I look at you and say this?
-I think that we should spend some time apart.
-What's wrong?
-Well, I need to study, and...
-You need to study?
-Yeah.
-Okay, how much time do you need? I mean, you know, I mean you'll be leaving in a little while, so that's answered some questions.
-We'll see.
-Okay. It's good knowing this.
-Okay, what did we just decide?
-We decided...
-'Cause I'm worried, did you just break up with me?
-No, no.
-It sounded like you did.
-No. We decided that we're friends. I mean, I know it's a terrible word...
-Well, if we're friends, why can't we see each other?
-I think that we should stop going out on dates.
-I feel like a dick. You must think I'm a dick.
-No, I don't, I don't.
-Yeah you do.
-Lloyd, we shared the most intimate thing two people can share.
-You shared it with a dick.
-No I didn't.
-Is this because of your dad?
-No.
-Did you talk to Corey?
-Why, did you tell Corey what happened?
-She figured it out. I'm sorry if that upsets you.
-No, that's fine. She'll tell everybody, but that's fine.
-Did you tell anybody?
-Just my dad.
-You told your dad?
-You have Corey and DC. I have my dad.
-What, I'm sorry I said that. Forget I said it, it's what I thought I meant, but forget it.
-Lloyd, I love you, okay?
-What is that? What are you doing with your hands? Talk to me, you're talking like that girl Sheila.
-Don't be mean, this is hard for me too.
-Then don't do it.
-What do you want?
-I'm sorry.
-What do you want?
-My father's guilty. He lied to me, he lied to everybody. I just left home... I need you.
-You do?
-Everything else means nothing to me. If I hurt you again, I'll die.
-Hurt me again? Not a chance, don't worry about it.
-I love you.
-What?
-I love you. How many more times do I have to say it?
-One more time would be nice.
-I'm fine.
-Okay.
-Alright, high level air safety tips. If anything happens, it'll usually be in the first five minutes of the flight, right?
-Okay.
-So when you hear the smoking sign go 'ding', you know everything's going to be okay.
-Good to know.
-Right, I'm just going to keep talking until that ding happens, which is going to be soon.
-Okay.
-Alright, personalised flight care from Corey. Books, cassettes, magazines, anything?
-How's it going?
-Nobody thought we'd do this. Nobody really thinks it's going to work, do they?
-No. You just described every great success story. Alright, it's alright.
-Man, all you gotta do is find a girl who looks just like her, nail her, and then dump her man, get her off your mind.
-It's your castle, man.
-Man, you never had a chance with a girl like that.
-Hey man, I was in love once. I got hurt really bad. I never wanna go through that again.
-You're freaking out here man.
-Yeah.
-YEAH!
-He's back. Hey my brother, can I borrow a copy of your 'Hey Soul Classics'?
-No my brother, you have to go buy your own.
-PAIN!
-Jim Court?
-Hello. May I please speak with Diane please?
-Sorry, Diane isn't here at the moment.
-Uh... okay... um...
-Is this the guy with the Mustang?
-No.
-The guy with the Datsun?
-No.
-The truck?
-Why don't I just get your phone number, that's usually how it works.
-Okay, I'll give here the message.
-Okay. She's really pretty great, isn't she?
-What?
-She's really pretty great, isn't she?
-Yeah, she is. Good luck.
-Okay. Good afternoon. Goodbye.
-Hi. Lloyd Dobler, sir. Pleasure to meet you.
-Hello Lloyd.
-Hello. Heard about that graduation present. Really quite a car. Look, I know you're busy, you don't' have to retain me, but you can trust me. I'll tell you a couple of things about myself, I'm nineteen, been overseas for a couple of semesters, but now I'm back. I'm an athlete, so I rarely drink. Kickboxing. You heard of kickboxing, sport of the future?
-Fine Lloyd.
-How ya doing? Is she around?
-Thanks Lloyd.
-How do you pay for one of those?
-Yeah Lloyd. What are your plans for the future?
-Spend as much time as possible with Diane before she leaves.
-Seriously, Lloyd.
-I'm totally and completely serious.
-No, really.
-Hi, Lloyd. This is my eighth and final call...
-Go ahead, pick it up if you want.
-She wouldn't get out of the car. I brought her all the way here, she said she was going to come here, and she wouldn't get out of the car. But I thought that is was important, that she come to see you, because I know that if you go somewhere and you don't deal with your family stuff, then you're just gonna, she's
-Are you going to England with her Lloyd?
-That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about sir.
-Are you?
-Am I going? Am I going to England? I've thought about this quite a bit, and I've realised what I probably should do is just carve out a goal for my future and find out what I wanna do with my life, do all the stuff that I've been avoiding in a big way. I mean, Diane and I can wait for each other,
-Well Lloyd, I admire you for not hitching a ride. You know, my daughter's a lot different to you.
-I know.
-She's very successful.
-I know
-Very talented.
-I know. But then I reconsidered. 'Cause I figured out what I really wanna do with my life, what I want to do for a living is I wanna be with your daughter. I'm good at it.
-You're not a permanent part of her life. You're a distraction.
-I'm the distraction that's going to England with her sir. Are you alright sir? Are you okay?
-"You can't know the horrible disappointment I feel..."
-I know this part, keep reading.
-She can't still be angry at this, it's gotta get better.
-It does, it does if it's the version signed 'I still can't help loving you'. Read that.
-Just her name.
-Joe. Joe. She's written sixty-five songs. They're all about you. They're all about pain.
-So what's up?
-Stop freaking with her head man. Just stop playing with her mind, you know? She's a human being. She's a person. She's very talented, you know.
-My car.
-Diane Court.
-Lloyd. Lloyd Dobler, I've got you.
-How ya doin' Miss Evans?
-You missed every one of your career counselling sessions. Call me obsessive, compulsive, but let's do this right now.
-No way.
-Lloyd.
-Don't make this like a counsel, Lloyd. I got statistics I can show you, I got graphs I can show you. That's all the stuff I can show you, it all says the same thing. You have to decide on a career.
-My dad's a lieutenant colonel in the army, he wants me to join, he wants to pull some strings. I mean, there's no possible way.
-Lloyd, everybody in that party put something down on their record except you.
-How many people really know what they want though? I mean, a lot of them think that they have to know, right? But inside, they don't really know, so, I don't know. But I know that I don't know.
-Oh boy.
-Hey.
-Mike Cameron, how you doing?
-What?
-Mike Cameron. This is one fresh jam, huh?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, hey, oh god. Listen, I wanted to... I don't know you very well, you know, but I wanted to ask you, how did you get Diane Court to go out with you?
-I called her up.
-Yeah, but how come it worked? I mean like, what are you?
-I'm Lloyd Dobler.
-This is great, this gives me hope. Thanks.
-Ooop, excuse me.
-How you doin', brother?
-It's gotta stay purple. All night. Hey Lloyd, how ya doin'?
-You know Diane Court?
-Oh, I was just going to...
-A very responsible young man you're out with tonight.
-I was gonna...
-Thanks a lot Lloyd.
-You know, every year I throw this party, every year nobody helps me clear up. Why am I yelling?
-I don't know.
-I don't know. Good on you man. Alright Lloyd.
-Maybe we'll come by tomorrow, help you clear up or something.
-Certainly.
-We finally graduated, big dude guy!
-I love you man
-Give me my firebird keys!
-You must chill! You must chill! I have hidden your keys. CHILL!
-I love you man.
-Alright, I love you too. Go to sleep.
-We're full on bonded.
-Later for you, Luke.
-Oskar - my friend Lena.
-How do you do? What can I get you, what're you drinking?
-Nothing's changed. Then again, something has changed, hasn't it?
-Things worked out. I made some money over there, had some laughs, you know. It was good.
-Now you're back.
-He's essential. Without him, everything comes to a grinding halt. If that happens -
-Itzhak Stern? He's on the list.
-Well, let's find him.
-He's on the list. If he were an essential worker, he would not be on the list. He's on the list. You can't have him.
-What's your name?
-Sir, the list is correct.
-I didn't ask you about the list, I asked you your name.
-The gentleman thinks a mistake's been made.
-You know what, you'd like her.
-Oskar, please -
-What -
-I don't have to like her just because you do. It doesn't work that way.
-It's not a charade, all this?
-Luck.
-What?
-Should I stay?
-Should I stay?
-Your friend Amon Goeth has been arrested.
-I'm sorry to hear that.
-There are some things that are unclear. We need to talk.
-All right, okay, let's talk.
-In Breslau.
-We started without you.
-You know, they told me you were going to be trouble - Czurda and Scherner.
-He looks great, though, doesn't he? I have to know - where do you get a suit like that? what is that, silk? It's great.
-I go to work the other day, there's nobody there. Nobody tells me about this, I have to find out, I have to go in, everybody's gone -
-They're not gone, they're here.
-Every day that goes by, I'm losing money. Every worker that is shot, costs me money - I have to get somebody else, I have to train them -
-We're going to be making so much money, none of this is going to matter -
-It's bad business.
-Scherner told me something else about you.
-Yeah, what's that?
-That you know the meaning of the word gratitude. That it's not some vague thing with you like with some guys.
-Do you have any idea what's involved? The paperwork alone? Forget you got to build it all, getting the fucking permits, that's enough to drive you crazy. Then the engineers show up. They stand around and they argue about drainage - I'm telling you, you'll want to shoot somebody, I've been through it, I know.
-It's true. Never happen in Cracow, though, we all love you too much.
-You held back Stern. You held back the one man most important to my business.
-He's important to my business.
-What do you want for him, I'll give it to you.
-I tried to call you, I'm running a little late, this is taking longer than I thought. Have a drink.
-What's going on?
-You took my workers.
-They're taking mine. When I said they didn't have a future I didn't mean tomorrow. Auschwitz.
-When?
-You want these people.
-What are you, Moses? What is this? Where's the money in this? What's the scam?
-It's good business.
-Oh, this is "good business" in your opinion. You've got to move them, the equipment, everything to Czechoslovakia - it doesn't make any sense.
-Look -
-You're not telling me something.
-It's good for me - I know them, I'm familiar with them. It's good for you - you'll be compensated. It's good for the Army. You know what I'm going to make? Artillery shells. Tank shells. They need that. Everybody's happy.
-If you admit to making three, then it's four, actually. But how?
-I just told you.
-Yeah, all right, don't tell me, I'll go along with it, it's just irritating to me I can't figure it out.
-Where are the guards?
-What's that?
-You don't recognize it? Maybe that's because it's not what I asked for.
-You asked for shoe polish.
-My buyers sold it to a guy who sold it to the Army. But by the time it got there - because of the cold - it broke, the whole truckload.
-So I'm responsible for the weather?
-I asked for metal, you gave me glass.
-This is not my problem.
-Ghetto Police. I'm a policeman now, can you believe it?
-Hey, Poldek, how's it going? You know about the list? You're on it.
-Of course I'm on it.
-What do I got for you?
-I want to thank you, sir, for giving me the opportunity to work.
-The SS beat me up. They would have killed me, but I'm essential to the war effort, thanks to you.
-That's great.
-I work hard for you. I'll continue to work hard for you.
-That's great, thanks.
-God bless you, sir.
-Yeah, okay.
-Like this?
-You have any idea what a shirt like this costs?
-How many?
-How you feeling, all right?
-Yeah.
-What's the matter, everything all right at home? Mila's okay?
-What's wrong with it?
-Good. How's it going?
-What are you doing?
-I'm having a drink, come on in, we'll have a drink.
-I mean where have you been? Nobody's seen you around for a while.
-I've been here. I guess I haven't been out.
-I thought maybe you'd like to come over, have some dinner, some of the people are coming over.
-Oskar, good of you to come.
-Are you kidding, I never miss a party. Police Chief Rasch, my wife Emilie.
-Thank you.
-I need a drink.
-Oh, God, you don't have a drink?
-One of these days the Russians are going to show up unannounced at my gate. I'd like the chance to defend myself. I'd like my wife to have that chance. My civilian engineers. My secretary.
-We're losing the war, aren't we.
-It kind of looks that way.
-Pistols?
-I'd never ask you for money, you know that. I don't even like talking about it - money, favors - I find it very awkward, it makes me very uncomfortable -
-No, look. It's the others. They're the ones causing these delays.
-What others?
-That'd be fine.
-The place produces nothing. I shouldn't say that - nothing it produces reaches the Army. That's not all right.
-So I'll talk to him about it.
-He's a friend of yours, you want to help him out. Tell me this, though - has he ever once shown you his appreciation? I've yet to see it. Never a courtesy. Never a thank you note. He forgets my wife at Christmas time -
-He doesn't deserve your loyalty. More important, he's not worth you making threats against us.
-I was just the accountant.
-Once the war ends, forget it, but for now it's great, you could make a fortune. Don't you think?
-Get the contracts and I'm sure you'll do very well. In fact the worse things get the better you'll do. It was a "pleasure."
-Jews, yeah. Investors.
-Jews can no longer own businesses, sir, that's why this one's for sale.
-Pots and pans.
-I don't know anybody who'd be interested in that.
-What was that about the SS, the rate, the ... ?
-The Jewish worker's salary, you pay it directly to the SS, not to the worker. He gets nothing.
-I could try to read this or I could eat my lunch while it's till hot. We're doing well?
-Yes.
-Better this month than last?
-Yes.
-Any reason to think next month will be worse?
-What?
-Don't ever do that to me again.
-You try to be fair to people, they walk out the door; I've never understood that. What's next?
-Christmas presents.
-This, I don't know, maybe you can trade it for something.
-I got to go, I'll see you.
-You think I don't know what you're doing? You're so quiet all the time? I know.
-Are you losing money?
-No, I'm not losing money, that's not the point.
-What other point is -
-You have to understand, Goeth's under enormous pressure. You have to think of it in his situation. He's got this whole place to run, he's responsible for everything that goes on here, all these people - he's got a lot of things to worry about. And he's got the war. Which brings out the worst in people. Never the good, always the bad. Always
-And killing.
-I'll admit it's a weakness. I don't think he enjoys it. All right, he does enjoy it, so what? What do you expect me to do about it?
-I'll talk to him.
-I think it's too late.
-Four hundred, four fifty -
-Eight hundred, give or take.
-That's very generous of you.
-We need to talk.
-They arrived.
-Well, that's to be expected. They have to understand. These are start-up problems. This isn't pots and pans, this is a precise business. I'll write them a letter.
-They're withholding payment.
-There's a rumor you've been going around miscalibrating the machines. I don't think that's a good idea.
-I know what you're saying, but I don't see the difference.
-You don't? I do. I see a difference.
-I'll talk to you later.
-I could've got more ... if I'd just ... I don't know, if I'd just ... I could've got more...
-If I'd made more money ...I threw away so much money, you have no idea. If I'd just ...
-There will be generations because of what you did.
-I didn't do enough.
-It's got nothing to do with reality, Oskar, I know it and you know it, it's a matter of national priority to these guys. It's got a ritual significance to them, Jews shoveling snow.
-I lost a day of production. I lost a worker. I expect to be compensated.
-File a grievance with the Economic Office, it's your right.
-Would it do any good?
-A one-armed machinist, Oskar?
-What's he done that's so bad - take money? That's a crime? Come on, what are we here for, to fight a war? We're here to make money, all of us.
-He's stealing from you, Oskar.
-We know that, son.
-The killer was trying to get to her. That sorority girl was a distraction.
-I can do it, Captain.
-How's the name search going?
-Can't we hold him?
-No, we got pressure from California State. The man practically has clemency. We can't run the risk of falsely accusing him. He has to be standing over the victim with knife in hand before we make a move.
-We're going to bring her in. Hide her out for a coupla days. And we're issuing a campus lock-in this evening. No one is allowed out after dark.
-Have you checked the...
-Attic, garage, basement, nothing.
-We don't know if it's random. We haven't been able to connect the victims.
-Jesus Christ. Captain Tyler flies out of his seat and into action.
-He's broken his pattern.
-They've broken their pattern.
-You're sure about this two person thing?
-I would say we are now officially baffled.
-No, they broke up again. Bailey won't stop drinking and Sarah can't take it anymore.
-thought he was doing AA.
-That shit. He only calls you when he's drunk. Don't go over there.
-I won't.
-Don't. Think Bailey.
-No, some creep asshole trying to scare me.
-Shit.
-What is it?
-I heard a noise.
-Kill, kill, kill, kill, hah, hah, hah, hah...
-Stop it...
-Outside.
-Don't do that. Hang up...call...
-What? I can't hear you...
-Hang up...call...
-I'm losing you.
-...campus security...send someone...check out...place...
-Yes.
-Who is this?
-Cici. Who's this?
-Someone who wants to talk to you.
-Oh, I'm sorry. My bad. I thought you were someone else.
-That's okay.
-Who do you want to speak with? Nobody's here.
-Where is everybody?
-We're co-sponsoring the Acid Rain mixer at the Sig Ep. house tonight.
-Why aren't you there?
-I'm designated driver. I have to be here in case a sister calls and needs a ride.
-That's too bad.
-"Drink with your brain." That's our motto. Who are you calling for?
-What if I said you?
-What if I said goodbye?
-Why would you wanna do that?
-Why do you always answer a question with a question?
-I'm inquisitive.
-Hello? Ted?
-WHAAAATT?
-Jesus, you scared me. What are you doing here?
-I live here.
-I thought you were going to the mixer?
-I had to change. Did anyone call?
-Tina, it's Dawnie. I'm on my way. Cici follows her back into the living room.
-Cotton.
-Can we talk?
-I don't think that's a good idea.
-Look, yesterday wasn't my idea. That was all Gale and dollar signs and ratings.
-What do you want from me, Cotton?
-You could start with an apology.
-I did that.
-You wrote me a letter. Very cordial. Very appropriate.
-How? What could I say that would make a difference? I took away a year of your life--how do I apologize for that?
-I wish it was just a year. I lost everything because of you. I have nothing now. Look at me, this is what I've become. A long silence. Sidney is hanging on by threads.
-I just thought if I saw you face to face, maybe it would help.
-Did it?
-It helped me realize one thing.
-What?
-It’s perfect, Sidney. No one will ever suspect me. I have proof. I’m the victim.
-I get my revenge and make some fast cash.
-It’s over, Cotton.
-You know the story, Gale. Man falsely accused, sent to prison, proved innocent, released back into the real world and never trusted again. Want the exclusive?
-Now, Gale, you were so instrumental in my freedom. You're not having character doubts now, are you?
-You have a right to be angry.
-No, Gale, I don't have any rights. You made sure of that.
-Cotton, I've done nothing but help you.
-Don't do anything stupid, Cotton. You've come to far.
-Look, I'm sorry about the face.
-Job hazard. Debbie Salt, stringer-- NEWSWEEK. Answer a few questions?
-Fair enough.
-Well, you know I'm dear to the subject matter.
-And much richer as a result.
-Do I know you? You look familiar.
-I took your vulture seminar seminar at Berkeley last year.
-Hi, Gale, any leads?
-Tons and tons.
-Where is Sidney's father?
-Home--where he lives.
-And are the police sure about that?
-Why don't you ask them?
-Already did. He's the perfect suspect, don't you think?
-No, I don't.
-Parents are always responsible. It all starts in the home.
-I couldn’t believe you didn’t recognize me. You even interviewed me for your book.
-Jesus, you’re just as whacked as your son.
-What are you going to do?
-Finish what my son started.
-But you’ll never get away with it.
-How do you put up with this Greek shit?
-My documentary is due on Tuesday.
-What's your subject?
-I could use some therapy.
-I think he's doing Dolly.
-"And I hope life treats you kind and I hope you have all you dreamed of offffff. I wish you JOYYY."
-Are they aware of your not so positive portrayal of Greek life?
-Not one bit.
-Where's Sid?
-She dumped me.
-No way.
-Yeah.
-How are you? You weren't in class. I called as soon as I heard...
-I skipped. Too many "That's her" looks.
-I'm sorry, baby. What can I do'?
-It's okay. I can peddle toilet paper.
-Where have you been'? You missed my shining moment. I won the macaroni sundae binge.
-About what?
-Lemme take you home.
-This is exactly what I don't want.
-My screwed up life shouldn't have to bleed onto my friends.
-Let us decide that.
-What about your film? Isn't it due next week? Have you even started it?
-I had the four o'clock shift. You weren't there. You had us worried. Is everything okay?
-No, it's not.
-I don't really know what happened in Woodsboro, Sid. But I know you don't trust me.
-It's not you, Derek. I don't trust myself. I tend to make big selection errors when it comes to men.
-Go on, untie him.
-No. This is a set up.
-Why?
-Poor Cotton, could life be a little more cruel?
-Yeah, we’re trying to send a message to Hollywood. I’m really getting tired of all the happy endings. It’s just not reality. In the real world the good guys die, the innocent are punished, and the murderers inherit the earth.
-Two.
-So you'll relieve me at 2:30...
-Where's Sid?
-Damned if I know. She ditched me.
-You weren't supposed to leave her alone.
-She's got guards with her.
-What guy?
-He seemed harmless.
-Need some help, honey.
-Yeah, you look quizzical yet pensive.
-Ever see NATURAL BORN KILLERS? Well, Derek and I have this whole Mickey/Mallory-Woody Harrelson/Juliette Lewis thing going on.
-I really don’t like that comparison, honey.
-He hates Oliver Stone.
-He sent me the cutest e-mail.
-I read her postings on the horror movie chat boards and fell hopelessly. Hook, line...
-We have our own website now. We dedicated a whole page to you.
-You’d me amazed at how many of us there are out there. It’s a whole world, Sid. You’re really popular amongst the demented.
-You’re the one who got away.
-Of course not. Who wants to? What’s the point if we don’t get caught? Where’s the glamour in that?
-The way I see it. We’ll be arrested. Go to prison. Cash in on the home footage. Secure a book deal. If all goes as planned, our trial should coincide with the release of STAB II.
-A verdict and premiere all on the same day. I love it.
-We’re hoping for the death penalty. I have this whole DEAD MAN WALKING swan song exit planned.
-And now, drum roll please...
-A twist ending if you will.
-Yeah, we really had our work cut out for us. It really is the curse of the sequel. The Billy/Stu thing’s been done.
-..so we had to be different but yet the same because if you venture to far away from your orginal story you completely alienate the audience...
-And we didn’t want to do that, Sid. We wanted to give you your money’s worth.
-So we found a compromise.
-Or it found us.
-We have a surprise guest star waiting in the wings.
-Just for you, Sid.
-Oh yeah. We figure the one of us that actually kills you will get a little more press. It’s been an ongoing discussion. Heads or tails?
-We had to have financing.
-Hello, Dwight.
-Miss Weathers.
-I've been trying to reach you but you haven't returned...
-Yes, Miss Weathers, your name is embedded clearly between my ears.
-I see you read the book.
-Yes, I do retain reading skills. Shock.
-And an explanation is, of course, out of the question.
-Page 32. "Deputy Dewey filled the room with his dim-witted Barney Fifish presence." I think you've explained yourself.
-Oh Dewey, I'm sorry.
-You have every right to be upset.
-Page 41. "Deputy Dewey oozed with inexperience."
-I never meant to imply...
-I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry.
-So what made you change your mind about Sidney?
-Mood swing. I'm manic depressive.
-You're a hard one to figure out. GALE It's that complex yet shallow quality. It's deliberate.
-I think you're all an act.
-And deep down I'm a good person? Make no mistake, Dewey, I'm a shit.
-I know that.
-Yeah?
-Not good. How you doin?
-If you were truly a copycat, wouldn't you want to emulate everything about the killer that you could?
-Meaning?
-He's already gotta be a part of Sid's life. What do you know about this Derek?
-Solid alibis. He was with Sidney when she was attacked.
-You broke my heart.
-What are we looking for?
-A bloody knife. A ghost mask. Something like that?
-Can we turn the light on?
-And it's sexier in the dark.
-Dewey, you and I would never make it.
-Maybe not. But think about the sex. As frustrated as I am...
-..and as lonely as I am...
-They're roomates.
-And Joel's pre-med.
-The sorority girl was gutted with autopsy precision.
-Shit! It's both of them. The first murders were to throw us - using the same names as Woodsboro. But they've moved on- -they're getting closer to Sidney. They're not looking for a Himbry or a Tatum to kill. They're looking for the new Tatum.
-Ssshh! What was that?
-This is all too familiar.
-Maybe they never got here. He could have taken her anywhere.
-Jesus Christ!
-Let's go.
-Dewey?
-Three hundred people watched? Nobody did anything?
-They thought it was a publicity stunt.
-Oh my God. How could it happen?
-They don't know. It was carefully planned. Earlier in the day the victims received anonymous passes to the movie.
-As of now, they don't see any relation. But they're checking it out. The state, Special Task Force, FBI--they're all here. They'll find the guy.
-Yeah, right.
-Look, Sid, why don't you take off? Disappear for a few days. I'll come with you.
-You go, it's all stairs, I can take it from here.
-Don't worry...
-Dewey, I'm completely equipped with mace, alarm whistle, keyring, knife, a degree in defensive combat...
-Just in case...
-The police are waiting outside. They're going to take you somewhere safe.
-Dewey, there's no such place.
-Hey, I got stuff to do. But I'll find you later, okay.
-Who is this?
-Who are you?
-That's not the way we play the game.
-I don't play games.
-What do you want?
-Where are you?
-Oh--a God complex
-What do you want from me?
-What do you mean?
-You are writing another book, aren't you? That's why you're here. The story's not over.
-You're getting obvious.
-No, Gale, I'm just getting started. Seeya soon.
-No, wait...
-Sidney. Hello. How are you?
-I'm okay. PEOPLE magazine won't stop calling but other than that...
-I'm sorry.
-Yeah, well...you are the definition of mixed emotions. I really should hate you... I see your movie's getting good reviews.
-It seems to be causing a stir. What's with the toilet paper?
-It's hell week. I'm pledging the Deltas.
-It's good to see you involved.
-Sid, I'll come with you.
-What?
-Someone’s trying to kill me. I need the police.
-Are you in danger now?
-Yes, goddammit!
-Where is your attacker?
-I don’t know.
-Stay under the safety light. Help is on its way.
-Lucas and his Romper Room stage.
-I have rehearsal.
-Shut up. Mickey, you and I can take her late evening.
-Sig Ep's gotta band, tonight.
-He tried to kill her first.
-I got a surprise for you.
-"If I should stay. I would only be in your way. So I'll go. And yet, I know, I'll think of you each step of the way...
-Don't do this.
-You're going to get it. You know what happens.
-Knock yourself out.
-Time to change numbers again?
-Okay, you're sure about skipping Calculas?
-Please, I have the perfect excuse.
-What about rehearsal?
-Gotta.
-That was good.
-Who is that guy?
-It's okay. Look, Hallie, I'll meet you outside.
-No, girletta, I don't leave your side.
-We're missing the Sig Ep party.
-No, Hallie, not tonight. Parties and mass murderers don't go together. Trust me.
-It's okay to break, girl. You shatter if you have to.
-Can I come with her?
-I'm the only one who can cut him down.
-Oh, Sid, you’re sounding desparate. I guess fearing death makes one anxious.
-A patio chair comes flying through a glass door. The young girl in the movie tears off running, SCREAMING, flying through the room.
-The young girl runs by a window. She looks in. A GHOST MASKED KILLER stares back. The Figure CRASHES through the window attacking her. She fights him off, getting away, running...
-The Ghost advances on the young girl, grabbing her, pulling her to him, raising high a long, hunting knife. The young girl is helpless...
-The young girl, clutching her bloody chest...drags herself, crawling across wet grass...the killer behind her...raising his knife again.
-Popcorn flies as Maureen falls forward, into the aisle, clutching her bloody stomach. She's speechless, unable to SCREAM. She holds her bloody hand out for all to see, begging for help. She stumbles down the aisle. Someone YELLS "Sit down." Maureen turns to several PEOPLE who begin to react. She turns behind her to see the Ghost Face coming at her again...knife raised.
-The young girl is slashed again.
-How many guys they have on you?
-I've been waiting for you, baby.
-Randy Meeks. He was with Sid that night in Woodsboro.
-Her old boyfriend?
-And white.
-Easy black boy.
-Have they questioned you yet, Sid?
-I gotta hit the library. Anatomy. Some of us have real majors. You gonna be okay, Sid?
-You're not allowed to ask that.
-I'll stop by the Deltas tonight.
-Perfect. I'll be outta Micro-bio and we can grab a bite.
-Sid, I'll seeya tonight.
-..this week's TKE kegger...
-Ne ask that you sell individual squares of toilet paper for a mere nickel a piece.
-It's all about sisterhood. Everybody thinks its about partying and blowjobs but...
-..we only promote safe rubbered sex.
-..it's really about family and tradition...
-..harmonica style is okay.
-Hello?
-Gale?
-She's not here right now.
-What do you care? Let 'em have their fun. So, what's up?
-What's your favorite scary movie?
-SHOWGIRLS. Absolutely frightening. What's yours? Wait, let me guess. THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW? FINAL EXAM. GRADUATION DAY? THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD? SPLATTER UNIVERSITY? Am I close?
-Do you want to die?
-I hate scary movies.
-It'll be okay, baby, I'll hold your hand.
-If we hurry, we can still catch the Sandra Bullock movie.
-Take it off.
-But...
-Now why does she have to be naked? How does that serve the plot?
-Why doesn't she just hang up and call the police? Stupid..
-Shush.
-You ass.
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I had to. It was too easy.
-Come on, baby. Lighten up a little, will ya?
-I get scared really easy, okay.
-I just have a hard time with insipid, sexist violence.
-We can still Sandra Bullock it.
-Sid? Jesus, where's Hallie? I've been here all night.
-Listen to me. We've got to get help. The Killer's here.
-What are you talking about?
-I'll be right back.
-What was that?
-What do you want?
-I'm sorry, Sid, please. I never should have gone along with Gale. I know I'm stupid. I wish I had some good reason to give you but I'm just stupid. Please, Sid, don't be mad at me.
-Do you work for her now?
-Well, yeah...she gave me a job. Freelance. It got me outta Woodsboro. I'm sorry about Cotton and yesterday. It was a bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea but it seemed like a quasi harmless bad idea. Ah, shit, Sid, I'm fucked up. Sidney looks at him Long and hard, a smile slowly appearing.
-If he's innocent he'll have an alibi.
-I guess Gale's going to be pissed she missed her exclusive.
-I'll relay it. You sure you don't wanna go home?
-I have this button I press. See? It insulates me. She mimes an air lock valve.
-Thanks for the movie, Randy.
-I think Jeff Bridges is getting tired.
-Nah I think it's doing so damn well because one of it's players got iced. I just hope none of us end up dead.
-Oh that's right. Those poor poor people. God Ben Damon was such a hottie.
-There's always someone out there stalking actors. Look at that woman from the Commish.
-Melinda McGraw?
-No, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Of course it's me, silly. And I feel like an ass standing in this theater lobby all by myself. Where are you babe, the movie starts in twenty minutes.
-Look, I'm stuck on the freeway. I think there was some big accident. It could be a little while so I don't want you to start freaking if I don't get there at exactly, Eight thirty.
-All I'm saying is I'm gonna be royally p.o.'d if you don't catch my acting debut.
-Oh I wouldn't miss it for the world. I bet you did such a great job.
-I did. Hon, although I got a total of six minutes screen time, they're the best six minutes of the movie.
-Jesus. Hello?
-Hello.
-Who is this?
-Well what number are you trying to reach?
-I don't know.
-I think you got the wrong number, buddy.
-Do I?
-Uh-huh. Look bro, my battery is running out. Really wish I could chat, but I can't so, later.
-Wait, wait. Don't hang up.
-Asshole, Can't talk.
-You almost sound like that guy from THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT CARRIE. Ben. Ben Damon.
-Well ya got me. That's me. I'm Ben Damon.
-Really? You're such a talented actor.
-Thanks.
-What do you mean?
-Listen you sick fuck, is this your idea of a joke?
-More of a game really.
-What kind of a game?
-You seem to be familiar with the STAB movies. Here's how we play. I ask you a question. You get it right, your girlfriend lives. You answer wrong, she dies.
-I swear to God if you lay a finger on her I'll fucking kill you!
-It's CICI! Cici's the name of the character she plays in the movie!
-Very good. Now we play ROUND 2.
-What?! But I did everything you said to do!
-That's right. And you beat ROUND 1. Now we're taking the game to a whole new level. Meet me beneath the Hollywood sign in ten minutes. I'll have your girlfriend. We'll be waiting.
-What?!
-You're not playing by the rules Ben. Don't you want her to live?
-I swear to God if you lay one hand on her!
-Yeah.
-Where are you?
-Closer than you think.
-Alright I'm here. What the fuck do you want from me?
-To see your reaction.
-Can I help you?
-I don't watch TV and I hate books. Whatta you need?
-Does the name Maureen Prescott sound familiar to you?
-Nope.
-Listen, I'm busy. Nobody has access to those files except studio execs. Can you please go away now?
-I know every face in here, respect for the unknown actor I suppose, myself included. If you're looking for Maureen Prescott --
-It may be Maureen Reynolds --
-What are these movies? 'Amazombies', 'Space Psychos' 'Creatures from theSan Andreas Fault'?
-Jesus Christ you scared the shit out of me.
-I'm sorry Miss Weathers. Allow me to introduce myself, MARK KINCAID, L.A.P.D. Are you familiar with the actor Ben Damon, or the actress CHRISTINE PERKINS?
-Well I interviewed Damon once for the show. He was a real obnoxious fuck. Any way, the second one, Christine Perkins, she had a part in Stab 2, didn't she? She was playing CICI.
-Both of them were found brutally murdered this morning under the Hollywood sign. Autopsy reports having come back to me yet but the bodies looked like something out one of the Stab films.
-So is that why you're here? Is that why you're holding me from my show, to tell me about some brutal homicide I'm not even involved in?
-I wish that was all Miss Weathers, but there's more. The killer left a note.
-That's Sidney Prescott's mother.
-I've tried to get in touch with Sidney Prescott, but she's keeping herself very well hidden. You're my one and only hope in finding her. Her life may be in grave danger.
-I'd love to help, really I wouldn't mind being sliced at again by a maniacal psychopath, but I honestly don't know where Sidney is. After Windsor she dropped off the face of the Earth. The only other person that might know is, , not going to talk.
-Alright Kincaid, no where to?
-I go to the police station and do my job, and you go back to being Gale Weathers.
-Oh. I thought you wanted me to stick around.
-That's STAB 3, Miss Weathers. It looks like we're going to be getting a warrant to speak with Miss Prescott anyway.
-Shit. Sarah Darling. I interviewed her too. God, it's happening again isn't it Detective?
-Who?
-I'm not at liberty to tell you that Miss Weathers. You're no longer working with the L.A.P.D. I don't even know why you're standing in here right now. By all means I should have you thrown out.
-But you won't. You're a good man detective. We think alike. I know you need my help. And I know you know I need your help.
-In my fifteen years as a homicide detective I've never met a single soul as pushy and brazen as you are Miss Weathers.
-Please, call me Gale.
-Whoever it is, now is taking credit for Maureen Prescott's murder.
-But we know who killed Maureen Prescott, Billy Loomis and Stu Macher. I mean, they even told Sidney how they did it!
-Four? There are five.
-OK, look. We all know that this has something to do with 'Stab 3'. What we do not know is why the killer keeps leaving articles about Maureen Prescott.
-Boys, boys, why don't we compare our gun calibers later? The issue is Maureen Prescott!
-Jesus Gale what happened?
-He killed Milton! The killer's inside there! Oh God! DEWEY! Dewey's in there too! He needs medical help! He's hurt!
-The killer leaves a newspaper clipping at each murder, Sidney. Recently he's also left a photo of your mother.
-Are you sure?
-What do you know about trilogies?
-You mean like, movie trilogies?
-You seem to like movies, Detective.
-Call me Mark, would you? Cause I'm gonna keep calling you Sidney.
-I'll call you Mark when you catch the killer, Detective.
-All I know about movie trilogies is in the third one, all bets are off.
-Did you request this case?
-No, they tend to put me on the ones that deal with the business. I grew up here, and I know my way around the studios.
-Must be exciting, Beautiful place, beautiful people.
-To me Hollywood is about death.
-Excuse me?
-I'm a homicide detective, remember? When you see what I see day in and day out, the violence that people do to each other, you get haunted. I think you know about that.
-What do you mean?
-I know what it's like to see ghosts that don't Go away. To be watching a scary movie in your head, whether you want to or not, watching it alone.
-Ghosts are tough, you can't shoot ghosts.
-Can't arrest ghosts. But the best way to stop being haunted is to be with people. You're here, you're not hiding, you've done the right thing, Miss Prescott.
-Hmm.
-What did you know about your mother?
-I used to think I had the perfect mom, perfect family. Till I found out I was wrong. She had a secret life, and I tried to understand that, and soon as I thought I had, more secrets. I don't' know who my mom was. Sometimes I feel like I'm just learning about my mother for the first time. You know, with TV and
-Here's the deal, I'm off to search the soundstage. That's good news.
-How is that good news?
-Because, that means that we're dealing with an ordinary, flesh and blood killer. And I know how to handle guys like that.
-Oh yeah, how?
-Mr. Rielly? My name is Mark Kincaid. I'm with the L.A.P.D. Are you aware of last night's Events?
-That's fine Mr. Rielly, but if anyone else should die, I'm going to have to get a warrant.
-I told you, I don't know where Sidney is. And even if there was a third killer, Sidney doesn't know about it.
-What about Angelina Tyler? She was there too.
-Before you jump to conclusions, the man in the picture, COTTON WEARY, is out of the country on business. His alibi checks out. Seems he's got a TV show in Australia, 100% COTTON. It's supposedly the biggest thing down under since Yahoo Serious, but that's besides the point.
-What does this have to do with Sid?
-Who knows more about Maureen Prescott than her own daughter?
-Is that a threat, Detective?
-When it's a threat, you'll know it.
-Detective Kincaid?
-What Rielly?
-Nice to finally meet you, Sidney.
-The killer called her.
-Sidney, do you have any idea how he could've gotten your number?
-He could've monitored the calls on a scanner. Did you call her from the set?
-Jesus Christ Sidney, what happened? I got a call on my cell from home. They told me that someone was attacked.
-And what made you think it was Sidney?
-What are you doing here? I told you to stay hidden! It's not safe for you up here.
-Well it's not safe for me up there either. The killer found me Dewey. He called me last night.
-What?
-I figured I'd be safe If I was at least up here with the people I care about. Now where's this Kincaid guy the news is talking about? I found this place from a FOX 5 TV NEWS REPORT. Heh.
-I was afraid they were bait, something to, ya know, trick you out of hiding.
-Alright Sid, over there is the STAB 3 Production offices. That's where Sarah Darling was murdered last night.
-Karen Colcheck. From Woodsboro.
-I can see nothing's changed.
-Listen Dewey I have to go to the bathroom.
-Do you want me to come with you Sid? I mean, remember what Randy said?
-Don't worry, I've got a permit for it.
-Yeah?
-Help me Sid! The killer's got me!
-Dewey?! OHMIGOD! Where are you?!
-Sid I can see you!
-Where are you Dewey?
-Where's Gale?
-They've got her!
-Dewey my God I thought you were dead.
-Don't worry Sid I'd never leave you like that.
-Watch out Sid. Randy said the killer's always superhuman.
-Dewey, personal lives and pasts aside, this is about Sidney. We need to know where she is.
-What so you can just exploit her again with another book? Sid doesn't need you Gale.
-They found another note?
-Uh-huh. Another News clipping. Another one about Sid's mom. Dewey, whether we like it or not it looks like we're going to have to go back into our past.
-You mean OUR past as in Me and Sid. This has nothing to do with you Gale.
-This has everything to do with me Dewey. I was the one who brought the nation's attention to this shit anyway. I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit around and pass on the buck again.
-Do you really mean it this time Gale?
-Yes. Look, let's get something straight Dewey, I got into this shit cause the police came looking for ME. Not cause I'm out to make the SUNRISE STUDIOS SLASHINGS.
-Why would the police come to you?
-Again, I am the author of the definitive book on the Woodsboro murders.! What about you?
-What about me?
-You said you'd never leave Woodsboro, 'The only place that's real!' But now you're here. Not with me. Dewey, I took care of you. I waited until you were well. I couldn't stay there, I mean, it's like dog years, one year in Woodsboro is like seven everywhere else.
-So it's off to London for a week? New York for a month? L.A Forever?
-It was fucking '60 Minutes II'! I couldn't say no! I could've been the next Diane Sawyer!
-What's wrong with just being Gale Weathers? I liked her!
-It didn't work Dewey. We tried, we're different.
-You used to say that was our strength.
-Dewey, you're not just here because of that second rate K-Mart, straight-to-video version of me, are you?
-Brace yourself, Gale, all of this is actually not About you.
-All of what Dewey? You do know something, don't you?
-Off the record.
-Always.
-Two months ago, the Woodsboro police got a call from a woman who said she was with 'Stab 3'. She wanted to see the file on Sid, for research.
-And?
-The boys said no. She wouldn't give her name. A month later, the station gets broken into, the file room ransacked.
-Someone stole Sid's file?
-I already removed it. I think someone on the film was trying to find Sid, and that's the only reason I came here. To make do a little private investigating of my own and make sure no one here was planning anything.
-I'm sorry, this is too good!
-What part of 'Off the record' don't you understand?
-Right. Sorry. Do you think he did it?
-I've got my suspicions but still, nothing you say can ever make me take my eyes off one person.
-Jennifer needs me.
-Jennifer?! Wait, where are you going off to?
-Stop following me.
-I happen to work for the police god dammit!
-You're not a detective.
-Neither are you, Magnum P.I.
-Gale, your engine's still running.
-Don't worry. I'm prepared for anything.
-OH. OH GOD. GALE --
-What?
-Thank you.
-Do you have her number stored in your memory? Phone memory!
-Oh. Yeah, I guess I do.
-Has anyone else every used your phone?
-I've got an idea, I'll hook up with you guys later.
-Do you want us to come with you?
-Sidney, what happened?
-Paternity test results. Christ Dewey, you're never going to believe who Milton's kid is.
-Gale, I know this is a bad time and all but what if we try it out again. The whole relationship thing.
-So you knew Sidney Prescott's mother.
-What's your point?
-No point, I'm just gonna give Detective Kincaid a call.
-What the hell are you guys getting at? I make horror films, that's what I do. The Studio came to me with 'Stab'. They came to me, check it out.
-But you know who she was.
-Good morning Gale. Pleasure to be here.
-It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Roman.
-Well it's a honor to be here amongst so many fans of the genre. And I must say that any of you worried that Jerry Rapp, or Tori or David not returning to complete the STAB trilogy, have no fear, Roman is here. Aided with my excellent cast of newcomers I believe we're going to pull off one of the best Stabs yet.
-Roman, from your enthusiasm it certainly seems that way. Honestly though, tell us, what's your favorite scary movie?
-Your life?
-Would you excuse me for a moment?
-You! How can I ever get any fame playing you!
-Dewey, what the hell is she rambling about now? What's wrong Jen, see yourself on one of those USA NETWORK winners you did and realize how badly you suck at acting?
-God damn you Gale Weathers! Don't you see? The killer is choosing his victims as they die in the script! Ben Damon's character was the first one to get offed. So was his girlfriend - but she wasn't cast yet so his real girlfriend was killed - then Sarah Darling's Candy, and now me!
-AND I DIE NAKED?! UGH! This is complete bullshit. Who wrote this piece of crap?
-I know right. It was kinda weak. That's cause Will Kennison only wrote a rough treatment of it. The script was written by some new guy. He wrote Arlington Street.
-Shit! Where the hell are Tom and Angelina?
-Who's phone?
-Listen you sick bastard, what the fuck do you want?
-What's your favorite scary movie Gale?
-God damn it you two! Run! Hurry! He's dead!
-Geez.
-What the hell are you doing?
-Being Gale Weathers. What the hell are you doing?
-I am Gale Weathers!
-Here's how I see it. I've got no house, no movie, no gun, and I'm being stalked. Because someone wants to kill me? No, because someone wants to kill you. So now, starting now, I go where you go. That way, if someone wants to kill me, I'll be with you, and since they really want to kill you, they won't kill me, they'll
-None.
-You know in the movies, I play you as being much smarter.
-And as a sane person. For you that must be quite a stretch.
-Ha. Maybe I should join SNL.
-Need to get in that building?
-No really?
-There a story in that building?
-Possibly.
-Basements creep me out.
-Really, you know you'd make a fascinating interview. Lifestyles of the Rich and Psychotic.
-Look who's talking Moneybags. You got more homes than I do.
-Oh I wish I got that one on tape. It'd put a smile on my face everytime I'm down.
-Nobody said she was an actor.
-Oh, Come on! You have made millions off the story of her murder. You're obsessed with HER and you're obsessed with her DAUGHTER!
-I think Milton's the killer. I think he just went out to kill another cast member.
-Milton's not a killer. He's a pervert. He probably went out to buy more KY JELLY for his jack -off parties he has with his two best friends.
-Rob Reiner and Quentin Tarentino?
-Excuse me Detective, I think we have some business to attend to.
-Well then, I guess I'll be leaving then.
-Oh come on! Why the hostility?
-Listen Lois Lane, I love your show and all but last month I happened to catch your little segment on me and how my wife left me because I'm a sex addict who enjoys screwing fifteen year old girls. It was a real eye opener my lawyers are still thinking about bringing to your superior's attentions.
-Answer the question. You knew Sidney's mom?
-And now? I mean, murders on your set and still you say nothing?
-Get real, that would make me a suspect!
-Just because you knew her?
-Yeah.
-I don't think so! Just what happened to Maureen when she was in Hollywood?
-Now you listen to me, Lois Lane, let it go. It's dead and buried. Daddy took ol' Yeller out behind the barn and shot him in the head a long time ago.
-Well how would you like his rotten carcass dug up and drug all over National TV? Why don't you start talking.
-It was in the 70's, everything was different. I was well known for my parties, Rina knew what they were. It was for girls like her to meet men, men who could get them parts, if they made the right impression. Nothing happened to her that she didn't invite, in one way or another, no matter what she said afterwards.
-Are you saying she was-
-Gale Weathers. What a surprise.
-Tom Prinze, tanked as usual. That's a shocker.
-Hey I really liked that piece you did on me last month. The one where you said my car accident was caused by me drinking and drugs, and how I faked the tire blow-out just so my insurance wouldn't sky rocket.
-Heh, well, that's TV journalism for ya. Stage the news to boost ratings.
-I think we should go inside. I have to have a talk with the cast. ALL OF YOU.
-Oh my God! Sidney, you ran fast or what? Hey.
-What'd he say?
-Oh my God Karen you scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here?
-We did some researching in the archives. Sid, something dawned on me when I wrote the book on your mother's murder. For two years of her life, 1969 up until 1971 she basically disappeared off the face of the Earth.
-Gale he's got Dewey!
-I know! He killed Kincaid!
-I know!
-Let's get out of here!
-Roman Bridger, director. And brother. She slammed the door in my face, Sid. Said I was Rina's child and Rina was dead. And it struck me, what a good idea! So I watched her, made a little home movie, a little family film. Seems Maureen, mom, really got around. I mean, Cotton Weary was one thing, everybody knew about that, but Billy's father, that
-All the nightmares. All the hell I went through was because of you, you spineless bastard!
-I'm a director Sid, I direct. For example, Angelina over there, She's my partner. I can convince her to do anything. We've been dating since I met her in Woodsboro.
-Listen, I have no time for this. I've heard this shit before! So lets get on with it!
-Wait a second Sid. Don't you go jumping the gun. You haven't seen the best part. With the aides of the computer revolution of y2kI've been able to steal your voice. Ain't it cool? Listen to what the police are gonna find next to your lifeless, mutilated body.
-See Sid, now comes the part where we get away with it! The part where we win! Cause face it Sidney, in this world, the bad guys win!
-Oh shit. Hello? Director's office.
-Sarah, it's Roman, I'm sorry I'm running late, I'm still on the 405, I'm about 10 minutes away.
-All right, since I got you on the phone, let's talk about your character.
-What character? I'm Candy, the chick who gets killed second. I'm only in two scenes!
-You're not happy with your part.
-I'm not happy that I'm 35 playing a 21 year old. I'm not happy that I have to die naked! And I'm not happy that my character is too stupid not to have a gun in the house after her boyfriend's been cut into McNuggets.
-Um hmm... umhmm great, so let's run the lines.
-Huh, fine.
-Page 22, Candy's big moment.
-Page 22.. Ring ring. Hello?
-Hello.
-Who's this?
-Who's this?
-This is Candy. Hang on, let me get some clothes. See! I don't' understand why I have to start the scene in the shower! The whole shower things been done, 'Vertigo' hello! And I mean, my boyfriend just died, why am I showering?
-Why don't we just read the scene? Candy, is that like candy cane or candy apple?
-Whatever. Come on, who is this? I think you have the wrong number.
-But you know my favorite name?
-I'm hanging up right now.
-It's Sarah.
-Roman that's not the line.
-It is in my script.
-Has there been another goddamn rewrite? How the fuck are we supposed to learn our lines when there's a new script every 15 minutes?
-It's not just a new script, it's a new movie.
-What? What movie?
-Goddamnit I am getting so fed up with these re-writes. It's like every five minutes there's a new script. God, and you just know this all because of STAB 2's script winding up on the internet two months after it wrapped shooting.
-What are you talking about? The murders were a completely isolated incident.
-SCENE 32. INT. CANDY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT. "What are you talking about Ricky, the murders were a completely isolated incident".
-Would you give that script a rest? It's like a friggen umbilical cord to you.
-Roman and everybody else went home for the night. I'm here for a make-up test.
-Make-up. You need it. Hey, Roman isn't here?
-No.
-Do you think it's over Sidney? Do you?
-W-what do you want?
-I want to finish what I started. I want to finish the game.
-You sick fuck I'm tracing this call as we speak! The police are gonna nail your ass!
-Let them try. You'll never find me. I've already gotten away with murder before. For instance, Maureen Prescott.
-No. You didn't kill my mother. Billy Loomis and Stu Macher did.
-Heh. So you think Sidney. So you think. It's all been building up to this Sid. Every STAB. Every SCREAM. Every ounce of blood that's been spilled has all been leading up to this moment. WELCOME TOTHE FINAL ACT.
-The final act? Well let's play asshole!
-If you lay a hand on him I'll fucking kill you!
-{ a click } I only her you too, Sidney.
-Who is this?
-Don't do it! If you do one thing to attract attention, one thing, I'll kill them both. Now, do you have somewhere we can be alone?
-Yes.
-Always hard being friends with you, Sidney. When you're friends with Sidney, you die! Well these friends don't have to, Sidney. It's up to you.
-How do I know their voices are --
-You're dead!
-Where?
-She'd have been so happy, Sidney, to know we'd be together.
-WHERE?
-Yeah?
-Alright, I'm here. Now what?
-You're doing real good. Can't you figure it out? I wanna finish this where it all began. Woodsboro.
-Alright I'm here, now show your face so we can finish this.
-Hello?
-Yes, hi I'm Laura, I'm a trained counselor. How can I help you.
-Laura I think I just killed somebody.
-Are you sure?
-Uh-huh I'm sure. I've killed someone! OH MY GOD I'VE ACTUALLY KILLED SOMEONE!
-Well then the people you need to call are the police.
-No I need to call you. Just you.
-I'm sorry, your voice.
-Don't you want to know how you can help, Sidney? Are you listening to me, huh?
-Who the fuck is this?
-What? She asked.
-It's called tact, you fuckrag.
-I didn't kill anybody.
-Owwww...
-You open your mouth and stupidity pours out.
-How'd you do?
-Piece of cake. She'll be there.
-Thanks, butt wart. You did good.
-So you gonna try and make up with Sid?
-Duh... that's quick.
-I was just asking. Why are you always at me?
-Because I'm trying to build your self-esteem. You're far too sensitive.
-You ready to party hard tonight?
-Dude. What are you doing here?
-Where ya going? It's not over yet. We've got one more surprise -- Stu, I believe it's your turn.
-You have to play, Sid. Don't want to disappoint your dad. He's been waiting around all night.
-It's an easy game. We ask you a question. If you get it wrong -- you die.
-Tell that to Cotton Weary. You wouldn't believe how easy it was to frame him.
-Nope.
-Think about it. On the off chance I get caught -- a motive like that could divide a jury for years, don't you think?. You took my mother, so I took yours. Big sympathy factor. Maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. It certainly fucked you up. It made you have sex with a psychopath.
-This is the best part, Sid. Billy's got it all figured out. Why do you think we kept your father alive so long? Why did we save you for last?
-Ready?
-What if your father snapped? Your mom's anniversary set him off and he went on a murder spree, killing everyone...
-Except for me and Billy... we were left for dead...
-And then he killed you and then shoots himself in the head. It's a perfect ending.
-That's it, Billy. I can't take any more. I'm feeling woozy.
-It's on the table.
-I thought she was dead.
-She can't get both of us.
-I don't know Billy but I'm hurtin'.
-FIND HER YOU DIPSHIT!
-Thank you, Hank. We're on it. What were you doing out at Sidney's tonight?
-I just wanted to see her, that's all.
-You rode your bike out there?
-Yes, sir.
-Did you ride past Casey Becker's house?
-No, I didn't. I didn't kill anyone, Sheriff.
-Billy? What the...
-I'm sorry. Don't hate me.
-What are you doing here?
-My dad's in the other room.
-Close call.
-It just occurred to me that I've never snuck through your bedroom window.
-Now that it's out of your system.
-And I was home, bored, watching television, THE EXORCIST was on and it got me thinking of you.
-Oh it did?
-Yeah, it was edited for TV. All the good stuff was cut out and I started thinking about us and how two years ago, we started off kinda hot and heavy, a nice solid "R" rating on our way to an NC17. And how things have changed and, lately, we're just sot of... edited for television.
-So you thought you could sneak in my window and we would have a little bump-bump.
-You know what my dad will do to you?
-Would you settle for a PG-13 relationship?
-Oh Billy... Please... God...
-I heard screaming. The door was locked. Are you okay...
-Jesus, SHIT!
-No... I don't... it's just... Oh God, Billy, someone was there, someone tried to kill me.
-The police say I scared him off. It wasn't me, Sid.
-I know. He called again last night at Tatum's house.
-See, it couldn't have been me. I was in jail, remember?
-I'm so sorry... please understand.
-Understand what? That I got a girlfriend who would rather accuse me of being a psychopathic killer than touch me.
-You know that's not true.
-Then what is it? Is there somebody else?
-No...
-Is it the sex thing? Am I being too pushy?
-No, it's me, Billy. I need time. I'm still adjusting to my mom.
-It's been a year since she died.
-Tomorrow. One year tomorrow.
-When are you gonna let that go, Sid? When my mom left my dad -- I just accepted it. This is the way it is. She's not coming back.
-Your parents split up. It's not the same thing. Your mom left town, she's not in a coffin somewhere.
-Subtlety, Stu. Look it up.
-So...
-So... I'm sorry. I've been a selfish shit and I'm sorry.
-No, Billy. I'm the one who's been selfish and self-absorbed with all of my post traumatic stress.
-You lost your mom...
-I think in some weird analytical, psychological bullshit way I'm scared I'm gonna turn out just like her, you know? Like the bad seed or something...
-Oh Sidney...
-Everytime I get close to you I see my mom. I know it doesn't make sense.
-Sure it does. It's like Jodie Foster in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS when she kept having flashbacks of her dead father.
-But this is life. This isn't a movie.
-I wanna let go. I do...
-Sshh... it's okay.
-Or even a good porno.
-You heard me.
-Are you serious?
-Who did you call?
-What?
-When you're arrested -- you're allowed one phone call? Who did you call?
-I called my dad.
-No, Sheriff Burke called your dad. I saw him.
-Yeah... and when I called no one answered.
-Uh-huh.
-You don't still think it was me?
-I thought you were...
-NO! Don't believe him.
-It's called GUESS HOW I'M GOING TO DIE!
-Fuck you.
-Why did you kill my mother?
-I don't understand...
-Jesus... fuck, that hurt.
-Stop it!
-Hello?
-You bitch -- where the fuck are you?
-I'm gonna rip you up bitch. Just like your slut whore mother.
-Yes.
-Who is this?
-Who are you trying to reach?
-What number is this?
-What number are you trying to reach?
-I don't know.
-I think you have the wrong number.
-Do I?
-Hello.
-I'm sorry. I guess I dialed the wrong number.
-So why did you dial it again?
-To apologize.
-You're forgiven. Bye now.
-What?
-I want to talk to you for a second.
-Hello.
-Why don't you want to talk to me?
-Who is this?
-You tell me your name, I'll tell you mine.
-I don't think so.
-Popcorn.
-You're making popcorn?
-Uh-huh.
-I only eat popcorn at the movies.
-I'm getting ready to watch a video.
-Really? What?
-Just some scary movie.
-Do you like scary movies?
-Uh-huh.
-I don't know.
-Uh... HALLOWEEN. You know, the one with the guy with the white mask who just sorta walks around and stalks the baby sitters. What's yours?
-Guess.
-Uh... NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET.
-Is that the one where the guy had knives for fingers?
-Yeah... Freddy Krueger.
-Freddy -- that's right. I liked that movie. It was scary.
-The first one was, but the rest sucked.
-So, you gotta boyfriend?
-Why? You wanna ask me out?
-Maybe. Do you have a boyfriend?
-No.
-Why do you want to know my name?
-What did you say?
-I want to now who I'm talking to.
-That's not what you said.
-I have to go now.
-Wait... I thought we were gonna go out.
-Nah, I don't think so...
-Don't hang up on me.
-Gotta go.
-Yes?
-I told you not to hang up on me.
-What do you want?
-To talk.
-Dial someone else, okay?
-You getting scared?
-Listen, asshole...
-Is this some kind of a joke?
-I'm two seconds from calling the police.
-What do you want?
-Look, enough is enough. You had your fun now you better leave me alone or else.
-My boyfriend will be here any second and he'll be pissed when I tell him...
-I lied. I do have a boyfriend and he'll be here any second and your ass better be gone.
-Sure...
-I swear it. And he's big and plays football and will beat the shit out of you.
-I'm getting scared.
-I'm telling you the truth. I lied before...
-I believe you...
-So you better leave.
-How do you know his name?
-Where are you?
-Please don't hurt him.
-That all depends on you.
-I wanna play a game.
-No...
-Then he dies. Right now.
-NOOO!
-What kind of game?
-Please don't do this...
-Come on. It'll be fun.
-No... please.
-It's an easy category. Movie trivia.
-...please...
-I'll even give you a warm up question.
-Don't do this. I can't...
-Name the killer in HALLOWEEN.
-No...
-I don't know...
-Come on, yes you do.
-What's his name?
-Michael... Michael Myers.
-Now for the real question.
-NOOOO....
-But you're doing so well.
-Please go away! Leave us alone!
-...please... no...
-I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer.
-No it's not. It was Jason.
-Afraid not.
-It was Jason. I saw that goddamned movie twenty times. It was Jason.
-You tricked me...
-...leave me alone... please...
-What door am I at?
-What?
-Don't make me... I can't... I won't.
-Hi! Gale Weathers. Field Correspondent, INSIDE STORY.
-I know who you are, ma'am. How's the eye?
-Productive. So they're closing down the school?
-And why is that? Has something happened?
-You're not supposed to be here, ma'am.
-I'm twenty-five years old, ma'am.
-Boy, you people sure do make fuss over a serial killer.
-Serial killer is not really accurate, ma'am. The killer has yet to strike twice.
-Well, we can hope, can't we? We certainly don't have any leads. A ghost mask, a cellular phone -- not much there.
-We're tracking the cellular phone bill.
-Really? You small town guys are good. And have you located Sidney's father?
-No, not yet.
-He's not a suspect, is he?
-If you'll excuse me, ma'am.
-Am I keeping you? I'm sorry.
-I just turned 25. I was 24 for a whole year.
-Evening, ma'am.
-Deputy... good evening.
-What brings you out to these parts?
-You never know when or where a story will break.
-Not much story here. Just a bunch of kids cutting loose.
-Then what are you doing here?
-Keeping an eye on things. Checking the place out.
-Sheriff just radioed me. I'm gonna check out a possible lead. Thought you might like to join me.
-What kind of lead?
-A car was spotted in the bushes a little ways up the road.
-I'd love to. If you're sure it's alright?
-Ma'am, I am the Deputy of this town.
-Can I bring Kenny?
-So is Dewey your real name?
-Dwight. Dewey was something I got stuck with a long time ago.
-I like it. It's... sexy.
-Nah... it's just this town's way of not taking me serious.
-People treat me like the Antichrist of television journalism.
-Shit. It's Neil Prescott's car.
-Sidney's father?
-I'll call for backup.
-What are you doing here?
-Oh, God, Sid, I'm sorry I was late.
-Does mom know?
-Hey... Dewey. Can we go now?
-What did Mama tell you? When I wear this badge you treat me like a man of the law.
-A party? Mom's gonna kill you. Then me.
-No, Dewey. You'll ruin the whole night.
-Sorry, police orders. I'll stay out of the way, I promise.
-What is she doing here?
-You gonna be able to come down to the station and talk to us a bit?
-Did you reach my Dad?
-You're sure it was the Hilton?
-At the airport.
-He's not registered. Could he have gone to another hotel?
-I don't know. I guess.
-Any word on my Dad?
-Billy was released. His cellular bill was clean. He didn't make those calls.
-Somebody called me, Dewey. I'm not making it up.
-I know. We're checking every cellular account in the county. Any calls made to you or Casey Becker are being cross-referenced. It's gonna take time but we'll find him.
-God, look at this place, it's THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN.
-I see you as a young Meg Ryan myself.
-You girls ready.
-Yeah.
-Have they found my father?
-Afraid not.
-Should I be worried?
-It's Deputy Riley today, Sid.
-We got him, Sheriff. Billy Loomis.
-Hank Loomis' kid? Aw... Jesus...
-I was first to respond.
-What were you doing out here?
-Drive by patrol.
-How is she?
-She's tough.
-That ghost mask is sold at both Kroger's and WalMart. Neither of which keep purchase records.
-What about the cellular phone bill?
-They're pulling Loomis' account. But it'll be morning before we see something. You think he did it?
-She staying with you?
-She's okay. Looks like some boys were teasing her. Himbry's shutting down the school though. I want you to take look around.
-Dewey! Where the hell you been, boy?
-Keeping my eye on Sidney.
-Listen up, Dewey, because it's bad. Real bad. Aircomp just faxed us. The calls were listed to Neil Prescott -- Sidney's father. He made the calls with his cellular phone. It's confirmed.
-Couldn't his cellular number have been cloned?
-There's more. Guess what tomorrow is? The anniversary of his wife's death. It all fits. He's our man.
-Have you contacted the bureau?
-They believe he's out of state by now. We'll keep roadblocks and curfew in effect through the night. If he's not picked up by morning -- we'll do a house to house.
-You think he could still be in town?
-He'd have to be crazy. Where's Sidney?
-She's with my sister. Should I bring her in?
-Hold off for now. Just stay close to her.
-She'll be with her friends over at Stu Maker's tonight.
-Watch her. Don't let on -- just keep your eyes out.
-That fish smelled strong.
-Jesus...
-What is it? Where's Casey?
-Where is she?
-Casey? Where are you honey? Call the police, goddamnit.
-Where is she?
-Casey! Casey!
-What? What?
-Jesus Christ! An innocent man on death row. A killer still on the loose. Kenny, tell me I'm dreaming.
-No, not so fast. We have nothing concrete.
-When did that ever stop you? You can't sit on this. This is huge.
-If I'm gonna blow this up -- I need hard proof.
-But it's so much easier when we make it up.
-What's the plan?
-The control board's glitched. You know we can't carry a live picture.
-What's the delay?
-About thirty seconds.
-It's okay, Tatum. She's just doing her job. Right, GALE?
-How's the book?
-I'll look for it.
-I'm not here to fight.
-Just stay back.
-I want to talk to you.
-Off the record. No cameras.
-Please. You owe me.
-You owe my mother.
-Your mother's murder was last year's hottest court case. Somebody was gonna write a book about it.
-And it had to be you with all your lies and bullshit theories.
-What is your problem? You got what you wanted. Cotton Weary is in jail. They're gonna gas him. A book is not gonna change that.
-He was convicted in a court of law. Your testimony put him away. It doesn't matter what I think.
-During the trial, you did all those stories about me. You called me a liar.
-I think you falsely identified him. Yes.
-Have you talked to Cotton?
-Many times.
-Has his story changed?
-Not one word. He admits to having sex with your mother but that's all.
-He's lying. She wouldn't have touched him. He raped her, then butchered her. Her blood was all over his coat.
-He was drunk that night. He left his coat at your house, after your mother seduced him...
-I saw him leaving wearing it.
-She was never attacked. I think she made it all up.
-Why would she lie about it?
-What if she did it? What if Sidney killed Casey and Steve?
-And why would she do that?
-Why would Sidney want to be with Steve? She has her own bubble-butt boyfriend Billy.
-You're evil.
-Cut some slack. She watched her mom get butchered.
-Where do you get this shit?
-I have no idea.
-Scary night, isn't it? With the murders and all, it's like right out of a horror movie or something.
-Aha, Randy, you gave yourself away. Are you calling from work? Tatum's on her way over.
-Do you like scary movies, Sidney?
-I like that thing you're doing with your voice, Randy. It's sexy.
-What's your favorite scary movie?
-Don't start. You know I don't watch that shit.
-And why is that?
-Are you alone in the house?
-That is so unoriginal. You disappoint me, Randy.
-Maybe that's because I'm not Randy.
-So who are you?
-The question is not who am I. The question is where am I?
-So where are you?
-Why would you call me from my front porch?
-So where are you?
-Can you see me right now?
-Uh-huh.
-Good try, Randy. Tell Tatum to hurry. Bye now.
-Hello?
-Poor Billy-boyfriend. An innocent guy doesn't stand a chance with you.
-LEAVEMEALONE!
-Looks like you fingered the wrong guy... again.
-Are you okay?
-Can you knock?
-I heard screaming.
-No you didn't.
-No? Oh, well... I'm hitting the sack. My flight leaves first thing in the morning. Now the expo runs all weekend so I won't be back til Sunday. There's cash on the table and I'll be staying at the Raleigh Hilton...
-...out at the airport...
-...so call if you need me.
-Have a good trip.
-Stu was with me last night.
-Oooooh... before or after he sliced and diced.
-Fuck you, nut case. Where were you last night?
-Working, thank you.
-I thought Blockbuster fired you.
-THE FOG, TERROR TRAIN, PROM NIGHT -- How come Jamie Lee Curtis is in all these movies?
-Stop. Right there.
-Don't shoot. It's me.
-Don't come any closer.
-Only if it's a nice Meg Ryan movie.
-That was an ice pick -- not exactly the same.
-For about two seconds.
-And are the police aware you dated the victim?
-What are you saying? That I killed her or something?
-Besides -- "Takes a man to do something like that."
-I'm gonna gut your ass in a second.
-Jesus, this place is packed.
-We had a run in the mass murder section.
-You coming tonight?
-Yeah, I'm off early -- curfew you know. Now that's poor taste.
-If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath would you be standing in the horror section?
-It was all a misunderstanding. He didn't do anything.
-You're such a little lap dog. He's got killer printed all over his forehead.
-The why'd the police let him go?
-Why would he want to kill his own girlfriend?
-There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all. Simplicity. Besides, if it's too complicated you lose your target audience.
-So what's his reason?
-Maybe Sidney wouldn't have sex with him.
-She's saving herself for you.
-Could be. Now that Billy's tried to mutilate her, you think Sid would go out with me?
-I think her father did it. How come they can't find his ass?
-Because he's probably dead. His body will come popping out in the last reel somewhere... eyes gauged. See, the police are always off track with this shit, if they'd watch PROM NIGHT they'd save time. There's formula to it. A very simple one. Everyone's always a suspect -- the father, the principal, the town derelict...
-Which is you...
-You're absolutely right. I'm the first to admit it. If this were a scary movie, I'd be the prime suspect.
-And what would be your motive?
-I thought everything was checked out.
-We could be like two grief stricken students and we'll say really nice things about our good friends who were slaughtered senselessly.
-What's Leatherface doing here?
-He came to make up.
-There goes my chance with Sid.
-I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?
-There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance: 1. You can never have sex. The minute you get a little nookie -- you're as good as gone. Sex always equals death. 2. Never drink or do drugs. The sin factor. It's an extension of number one. And 3. Never, ever, ever, under any
-Wanna another beer?
-Yeah.
-His movie nut mind has snapped, Sid. He's gone psycho.
-Come on, Sid. Give me the gun.
-You heard Billy -- shut the fuck up.
-Why are they doing this?
-And to celebrate this impromptu fall break, I propose we have a party. Tonight, my house.
-Are you serious?
-Remember, there's safety in numbers.
-Yeah, okay... whatever.
-If Tatum sees you -- she'll draw blood.
-Guess, I won't be needing this anymore.
-Why are you doing this?
-You're crazy -- both of you.
-The official term is "psychotic".
-So Stu, what's your motive? Billy's got one. The police are on their way. What are you going to tell them?
-Do you believe this shit?
-Oh God! You don't know? Casey Becker and Steve Forrest were killed last night.
-No way.
-And not just killed, Sid. We're talking splatter movie killed-split open end to end.
-Casey Becker? She sits next to me in English.
-Not anymore. Her parents found her hanging from a tree. Her insides on the outside.
-Do they know who did it?
-Fucking clueless -- they're interrogating the entire school. Teachers, students, staff, janitors...
-They think it's school-related?
-Or a man's mentality.
-You sure I can stay over? My dad won't be back til Sunday.
-No prob. I'll pick you up after practice.
-Tell your mom I said thanks.
-Yeah, yeah... are you okay?
-Uh-huh, it's just... you know, the police and reporters... it brings it all back.
-I'll be there by seven. I promise
-Thanks, Tatum.
-Practice ran late. I'm on my way.
-It's past seven.
-Don't worry. Casey and Steve didn't bite it til way after ten.
-I'm not worried.
-Good, 'cause I wanna swing by BLOCKBUSTER and get us a video. I was thinkin' Tom Cruise in ALL THE RIGHT MOVES. You know, if you pause it just right you can see his penis.
-Whatever. Just hurry.
-It's okay. She was supposed to pick me up.
-Just another sleepover at the Riley's.
-Just like old times, ain't it?
-Do you really think Billy did it?
-He was there, Tatum.
-Take a message.
-Come on, Sid.
-Just relax. You're at school now. No one can get you here.
-This is a mistake. I shouldn't be here.
-Shit, what is he doing here?
-I bet he's pissed.
-It was just some sick fuck having a laugh.
-This could be good. What do you think, Sid?
-I don't know...
-Maybe Cotton Weary is telling the truth. Maybe he was having an affair with your mom.
-So you think my mom was a slut too?
-I didn't say that, Sid. But you know there were rumors. Your dad was always out of town on business. Maybe your mom was a very unhappy woman.
-If they were having an affair how come that Cotton couldn't prove it in court?
-You can't prove a rumor. That's why it's a rumor.
-Created by that little tabloid twit Gale Weathers.
-It goes further back, Sid. There's been talk about other men.
-And you believe it?
-If I was wrong Cotton, then he's still out there.
-Don't go there, Sid. You're starting to sound like some Wes Carpenter flick. Don't freak yourself out -- we've got a long night ahead of us.
-You're right. I'm cracking up. Ignore me.
-Hey, Sid. Just think if they make a movie about you. Who's gonna play you?
-Is Billy going to be there tonight?
-Billy's right. Whenever he touches me, I just can't relax.
-You have a few intimacy issues as a result of your mother's untimely death. It's no big deal. You'll thaw out.
-But he's been so patient with me, Tatum. You know, with all the sex stuff. How many guys would put up with a girlfriend who's sexually anorexic?
-What do you think about when you're having sex?
-Who?
-Grant Goodeve -- the oldest brother on EIGHT IS ENOUGH. Remember that show? He was the one who lived off alone. He would come around every now and then with his guitar and sing "Eight is enough to fill our lives with love..." He had all these brain dead sisters and that idiot brother from CHARLES IN CHARGE. God, I was in love with
-How does that get you in the mood with Stu?
-During foreplay, I sing the theme song to myself. "Eight is enough to fill our lives with love..." It's a real turn on.
-No way.
-What secret meaning? Like a Satanical thing?
-Watch the show, Sid. His basket is bigger than the one you're pushing.
-TATUM!
-There's that sense of humor. I knew it still existed. Ohh, Sid, let's have some fun tonight.
-Hunt? Why would they ask if you like to hunt?
-Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.
-I thought you dumped her for me.
-You know if I were accused of carving up two people, I'd take the opportunity to skip school.
-Is this not cool or what? Hey, Sid, what happened?
-For once, Stu, drop it.
-That's mature.
-With that set of lungs -- she should be.
-I got it. Tatum get me a beer. They're in the fridge in the garage.
-What am I? The beer wench?
-I don't have anyone else to give this to, Somerset, you know that. And nobody's going to swap with you.
-Give it to me.
-How's that?
-That's not necessary. You're in.
-Thank you.
-He cuts off the skin if his fingertips. That's why we can't find a single usable print in the apartment. He's been doing it for quite a while. Keeps cutting before the papillary line can grow back.
-What about the trace on his bank account and the guns? There must be something to connect him with a past.
-You don't. It goes to court now.
-He's pissing in our faces again and we're just taking it.
-How is it working for a scumbag like this? You proud of yourself?
-What do you think?
-"Dear Detectives, Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light." It's the murderer's way of announcing himself.
-Announcing what?
-There are seven deadly sins. Gluttony, wrath, greed...
-So what? This victim...
-... envy, sloth, pride and lust. Seven.
-Hey, so gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. But, this was a fat guy. The killer may have felt this was the just best way to torture him. And, writing on the walls happens all the time. It's like the fashionable thing to do.
-What's this: "I'm declining this case?" It don't work that way.
-This can't be my last duty here. It will go on and on.
-You've left unfinished business before.
-Have you heard?
-No, I haven't heard.
-Already.
-It's none of my business anymore.
-I thought you might want to be filled in.
-I'm sure everyone's doing their best.
-Yeah.
-Come on. What are you going to do with yourself out there?
-I'll get a job, maybe on a farm. I'll work on the house.
-Can't you feel it yet? Can't you feel that feeling... ? You're not going to be a cop anymore.
-What are you talking about?
-Did you read in the paper today, about the man who was walking his dog? he was attacked, and his wallet and his watch were taken. And then, while he was still lying unconscious, his attacker stabbed him with a knife in both eyes. It happened four blocks from here.
-I heard.
-I have no understanding of this place anymore.
-It's always been like this.
-Well, there he sits. It's not supposed to make sense.
-How you feeling?
-Thank you. Tell them, thank you.
-We figure you need all the tools you can get to fix up that piece of shit you call a house.
-They're hoping you stop and say goodbye before you go, but I told them not to expect it.
-He's being arraigned tomorrow.
-I guess... decide for yourself. I don't know what it says. I'm going to go.
-And... and... and he said... he asked me if I was married. And, I could see he had a gun in his hand.
-Where was the girl?
-What? What?
-She was... she was on the bed. She was just sitting on the bed.
-Who tied her down? You or him?
-Jesus Christ, man, don't shoot me!
-Turn around. Hands on your head!
-What the hell's going on?
-Who are you? What are you doing out here?
-This guy paid me five hundred bucks to bring it out here. He wanted it here at exactly seven o'clock.
-Put it down. Put it on the ground.
-I don't believe it.
-What do you mean?
-I mean, at this point, what would it hurt if you told us a little about yourself?
-What's so exciting?
-What time is it?
-It's surprising how easily a member of the press can purchase information from the men in your precinct.
-David... please...
-Give me the gun.
-You didn't know.
-Where we headed?
-We're not just going to pick up two more bodies, are we, Johnny? That wouldn't be... shocking enough. Wouldn't keep you on the front page of the newspapers.
-Wanting people to pay attention, you can't just tap them on the shoulder. You have to hit them in the head with a sledgehammer. Then, you have their strict attention.
-What makes you so special that people should pay attention?
-Not me. I'm not special. I'm not exceptional. This is, though. What I'm doing.
-I hate to burst your bubble, but other than the fact that you're especially sadistic, there's nothing unusual about these precious murders of yours.
-You know that's not true.
-You can't see the whole... the whole complete act yet. Not yet. But, when this is done, it's going to be... so... so...
-Spit it out.
-I can't wait for you to see. I can't wait... It's really going to be something.
-Well, I'll be standing beside you the whole time, so you be sure to let me know when this whole, complete reality thing is done. Wouldn't want to miss it.
-I... I doubt I enjoyed it any more than... Detective Mills would enjoy some time alone with me in a room without windows. Isn't that true? How happy would it make you to hurt me, with impunity?
-Now... I wouldn't do something like that, Johnny. I like you. I like you a lot.
-You wouldn't because you know there are consequences. It's in those eyes of yours, though... nothing wrong with a man taking pleasure in his work. I won't deny my own personal desire to turn each sin against the sinner. I only took their sins to logical conclusions.
-You only killed a bunch of innocent people so you could get your rocks off. That's all.
-Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? Look at the people I killed. An obese man, a disgusting man who could barely stand up... who if you saw him on the street, you'd point so your friends could mock him along with you. Who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him I picked
-Murderers?
-A woman...
-Murderers like you?
-A woman... so ugly on the inside that she couldn't bare to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer... a drug dealing pederast, actually. And, don't forget the disease spreading whore. Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. That's the point. You see
-Delusions of grandeur.
-You should be thanking me.
-And, why is that?
-You're going to be remembered, and it's all because of me. And, the only reason I'm here right now is because I wanted to be.
-We would have gotten you eventually.
-Tell me what it was that gave me away. What was the piece of evidence you were going to use against me right before I walked up to YOU and put my hands in the air.
-I seem to remember knocking on your door.
-And, I remember breaking your nose. You're only alive because I didn't kill you.
-Just keep leading the way.
-I wish I could have been a normal man like you. I wish I could have a simple life.
-You've made a good life for yourself...
-Here he comes.
-What the fuck is going on?
-Somerset...
-I'm a little thrown. I just got in town like twenty minutes ago and they dumped me here.
-Since we're just starting out, I thought we could go to a bar... sit and talk for awhile. After that, we'll...
-I need to start getting the feel of it all, right? Meet the people.
-I meant to ask you something, Mills, when we spoke on the phone. I can't help wondering... why here?
-I... I don't follow.
-All this effort you've made to get transferred, it's the first question that pops into my head.
-You just met me.
-Maybe I'm not understanding the question.
-It's very simple. You worked a nice, quiet town, but you fought to get here as if your life depended on it. I've just never seen it done that way before, Detective.
-Maybe I thought I could do more good here than there. I don't know. Look, it'd be great by me if we didn't start right off kicking each other in the balls. But, you're calling the shots, Lieutenant, so... however you want it to go.
-Let me tell you how I want this to go. I want you to look, and I want you to listen.
-I wasn't standing around guarding the local Taco Bell. I've worked homicide for five and a half years.
-Not here.
-I realize that.
-I wonder what exactly was the point of the conversation you were about to get into?
-And I wonder how many times Officer Davis there has found a dead man who wasn't really dead until Davis was in the car calling it in and eating a donut.
-Drop it.
-Who said this was murder?
-No one yet.
-When we found him, he was lying there with a knife in his back, so what else could it be but homicide? Except, I finally figured out... he held the knife behind him... put the tip of it in his own back and got real close to the wall... then he shoved his body backwards...
-There's a bucket here.
-What?
-It's a bucket of vomit.
-Is there any blood in it?
-You think it was poison?
-You've seen my files, right? Seen the things I've done?
-No.
-Anyway... I did my time on door-to-doors, and walking a beat. I did all that shit for a long time.
-Good.
-The badge in my pocket says "detective," same as yours.
-I made a decision, because I have to consider the integrity of the scene. I can't worry whether you think you're getting enough time on the playing field.
-Is that clear?
-Okay... sure... It's just that, with my old partner, you know...
-Same color and texture.
-This doesn't make any sense.
-It could be nothing.
-He ate his fill, and was forced to continue eating... till his body rejected the food. the killer held a bucket under him, and then kept serving. He took his time. The coroner says this might have gone on for more than twelve hours. The victim's throat was swollen from the effort, and there was probably a point where he passed out. That's when
-This is his stuff. I've been out in the cold all day.
-I'm declining this case. I want us reassigned.
-It's too soon for him.
-It's a package deal. You get the phone with the office.
-It's my wife.
-Well?
-I'm invited to have a late supper at your house. And, I accept.
-How's that?
-I'd like you to meet Somerset.
-All television does is teach children that it's really cool to be stupid and eat candy bars all day.
-What about sports?
-You go to movies at least?
-I read. Remember reading?
-You've never seen "The Odd Couple?" This is sick. "The Honeymooners?!"
-Our guy got into office, probably before the building closed and security tightened up. Gould must have been working late.
-I'm certain. He was the biggest defense lawyer around. Infamous, actually.
-The leather chair was soaked through with sweat.
-All day Saturday, and all day Sunday. The murderer would want Gould to take his time. To have to sit there and decide. Where do you make the first cut? There's a gun in your face... but, what part of your body is expendable?
-He must have left another puzzle piece.
-Look, I appreciate being able to talk this out, but, uh...
-Gould's wife. She was away on business. If this means she saw anything, I don't know what. We've questioned her at least five times.
-And, if it's a threat.
-He's preaching.
-Punishing.
-The sins were used in medieval sermons. There were seven cardinal virtues, and then seven deadly sins, created as a learning tool, because they distract from true worship.
-Like in the Parson's Tale, and Dante.
-Did you read them?
-Yeah. Parts of them. Anyway, in Purgatory, Dante and his buddy are climbing up that big mountain... seeing all these other guys who sinned...
-Seven Terraces of Purgation.
-Right. But there, pride comes first, not gluttony. The sins are in a different order.
-For now, let's just consider the books as the murderer's inspiration. The books and sermons are about atonement for sin. And, these murders have been like forced attrition.
-Forced what?
-Attrition. When you regret your sins, but not because you love God.
-No fingerprints?
-Nothing.
-No witnesses of any kind?
-This is the one thing.
-I know.
-What if it's not that she's seen something? What if she's supposed to see something, but she just hasn't been given a chance to see it yet?
-You're sure your men didn't move this?
-Nothing.
-What the fuck is that?
-There must be something.
-What?
-Oh, yeah, sure. You got to be kidding?!
-Just, honestly... have you ever seen anything like this... been involved in anything like this?
-He just may be nuts enough.
-It doesn't fit. He doesn't want us to help him stop.
-You meant what you said to Mrs. Gould, didn't you? About catching this guy. You really want to believe that, don't you?
-And you don't?
-I wish I still thought like you.
-Then, you tell me what you think we're doing.
-All we do is pick up the pieces. We take all the evidence, and all the pictures and samples. We write everything down and note what time things happened...
-Oh, that's all.
-We put it in a nice neat pile and file it away, on the slim chance it's ever needed in a courtroom. It's like collecting diamonds on a desert island. You keep them just in case you ever get rescued, but it's a pretty big ocean out there.
-Bullshit.
-I'm, sorry, but even the most promising clues usually lead only to other clues. I've seen so many corpses rolled away... unrevenged.
-I've seen the same. I'm not the country hick you seem to think I am.
-Does this make it with you?
-Doesn't seem like our man, does it?
-You tell me. I'm new in town.
-He doesn't have the desire somehow. Our killer seems to have more purpose. More purpose than Victor could ever conceive of.
-The fingerprints.
-Yes. They were there... so, it must be.
-Why would we?
-Never in my twenty-four years, knock on wood. I've only ever taken my gun out five times with the actual intention of using it. Never fired it though. Not once. You?
-Never took a bullet. I pulled my gun once. fired it once.
-And?
-How did the fire fight end?
-How was it?
-I expected it to be bad, you know. I took a human life... but I slept like a baby that night. I never gave it a second thought.
-I think Hemingway wrote somewhere... I can't remember where, but he wrote that in order to live in a place like this, you have to have the ability to kill. I think he meant you truly must be able to do it, not just faking it, too survive.
-It is Victor.
-The way this has gone till now, I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but we may have underestimated this guy.
-I want him bad. I don't just want to catch him anymore. I want to hurt him.
-Listen to me. He's all about playing games.
-No kidding! No fucking kidding!
-We have to divorce ourselves from emotions here. No matter how hard it is, we have to stay focused on the details.
-I don't know about you, but I feed off my emotions.
-How do those cockroaches get here so quick?
-They pay cops for the inside scoop, and they pay well.
-Sorry about that... I just...
-Victor's landlord says an envelope of cash was in the office mailbox each month. He says, quote, "I never heard a single complaint from the tenant in apartment three-o-one, and nobody ever complained about him. He's the best tenant I've ever had.
-A landlord's dream tenant: a paralyzed man with no tongue.
-I'm sick of sitting around, waiting for him to kill again.
-This is the job. It's not an Easter egg hunt.
-There must be something in this pile of garbage we can follow. I mean, Christ... do we have to let this lunatic make all the moves.
-It's too dismissive to call him a lunatic. We can't make that mistake.
-Oh, blah, blah, blah. The guy's insane.
-It's a fine line between insane and inspired.
-Hey, Freud, what brand of bullshit are you shoveling, huh? Right now he's probably dancing around his room in a pair of his mommy's panties, singing show tunes and rubbing himself with peanut butter...
-No.
-Sooner or later his luck's goning to run out.
-No. He's not depending on luck. You've seen that. We walked into that apartment exactly one year after he first tied Victor to the bed, to the day. To the day! Because he wanted us to.
-We don't know for sure...
-This quote... his first words to us. I looked it up. It's from Milton's Paradise Lost. "Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light... "
-And so what?
-Well, he's been right so far, hasn't he?
-Just because the bastard has a library card, it doesn't make him Einstein.
-Just, realize... this is not some common lunatic. The type of intestinal fortitude it must take... to keep a man bound for a full year. To connect tubes to his genitals. To sever his hand and use it to plant fingerprints. He's methodical and exacting, and worst of all, he's patient.
-How much money do you have?
-Well, that was money well spent.
-By telling you this, I'm trusting you more than I trust most people.
-It's probably nothing, but even if it is, it's no skin off our teeth. The man at Hot Dog World is a friend, in the Bureau.
-Him?
-For a long time, the F.B.I.'s been hooked into the library system, keeping accurate records.
-What? Assessing fines?
-They monitor reading habits. Not every book, but certain ones are flagged. Books about... let's say, how to build a nuclear bomb, or maybe Mein Kampf. Whoever takes out a flagged book has their library records fed to the F.B.I. from then on.
-You got to be kidding.
-Flagged books cover every topic the Bureau deems questionable... communism to violent crime.
-How is this legal?
-So they ran our list.
-If you want to know who's been reading Paradise Lost, Purgatory, and say... The Life and Time of Charlie Manson, the Bureau's computer will tell you. It might give us a name.
-Yeah. Some college student who's taking English 101 and just happens to be writing a paper on Twentieth Century Crime.
-Yeah, well... at least we're out of the office. We've got pizza.
-How do you know all about this?
-This is a waste of time.
-We're focusing.
-I know, I know... focusing on one little thing.
-Modern Homicide Investigation. In Cold Blood. Of Human Bondage. Human Bondage?
-It's not what you think it is.
-The Marquis de Sade and Origins of Sadism.
-That is.
-The Writings of Saint Thomas Aqu... Aquin...
-You're sure you're reading that right? John Doe?
-That's what it says. Jonathan Doe.
-This is stupid. It'd be just too easy.
-We'll take a look at him. Talk to him.
-What are you going to say?
-You do the talking. Put that old silver tongue of yours to work.
-Are you alright?
-I'm fine.
-Wait... just wait.
-It was him.
-The hell I can't! We get in there and we can stop him.
-We need a warrant.
-Think about it...
-What the fuck is wrong with you?
-By the time we clear a warrant someone else is going to be dead.
-Think it through. If we leave a hole like this, we'll never prosecute. He'll walk. We have to come up with some excuse for knocking on this door.
-You stupid son of a...
-What are you talking about?
-We could use about fifty more men here.
-Well, there are at least five thousand notebooks in this room, and near as I can tell, each notebook contains two hundred and fifty pages.
-Then, he must write about these murders.
-No dates indicated, placed on the shelves in no discernible order. It's just his mind poured out on paper. I don't think it's going to give us any specifics.
-He's preaching.
-The irony is, after a day of the type of work he did, he'd come home and read me these morbid crime stories. Murders in the Rue Morgue. Le Fanu's Green Tea. My mother would give him hell because he was keeping me up till all hours.
-Sounds like a father who wanted his son to follow in his footsteps.
-You know... there's not going to be a happy ending to this. It's not possible anymore.
-If we get him, I'll be happy enough.
-No. Face it now. Stop thinking it's good guys against bad guys.
-How can you say that? Especially after today?
-Don't try to focus on things as black and white, because you'll go blind. There's no winning and losing here.
-You're the oldest man I know, Somerset.
-You tell me, then... you walk into an apartment, and a man has beaten his wife to death, or the wife murdered the husband, and you have to wash the blood off their children. You put the killer in jail. Who won?
-You do your job...
-Where's the victory?
-You follow the law and do the best you can. It's all there.
-Just know that in this case there's not going to be any satisfaction. If we caught John Doe and he were the devil himself, if it turned out he were actually Satan, then, that might live up to our expectations. No human being could do these things, right? But, this is not the devil. It's just a man.
-You think you're preparing me for the hard times ahead? You think you're toughening me up? Well, you're not! You're quitting, fine... but I'm staying.
-People don't want a champion. They just want to keep playing the lottery and eating hamburgers.
-What the fuck is wrong with you? What burnt you out?
-It wasn't one thing, if that's what you mean. I just... I can't live here anymore. I can't live where stupidity is embraced and nurtured as if it were a virtue.
-Oh, you're so much better than everyone, right? No one's worthy of you.
-Wrong! I sympathize completely, because if you can't win... then, if you don't ignore everything and everyone around you, you... you become like John Doe. It's easier to beat a child than it is to raise it, because it takes so much work to love. You just have to make sure you don't stop to think about the abuse, and the damage, because you'll
-You're talking about people who are mentally ill. You're...
-No I'm not! I'm talking about common, everyday life here. If you let yourself worry about one thing, you'll worry about the next, and the next, and it never ends. In this place, ignorance isn't just bliss, it's a matter of survival.
-Listen to yourself. You say, "the problem with people is they don't care, so I don't care about people." But, you're already here. You've been here a long time. So, there's a part of you that knows, even if everything you say is true, none of it matters.
-He cut her up and dressed the wounds.
-Oh, you want to stay now?
-One of two things will happen. We're either going to get John Doe, or he'll finish his series of seven, and this case will go on for years.
-You think you're doing me a big favor by staying?
-You knew I'd say yes.
-As soon as this is over, I'm gone.
-Because he is John Doe, by choice.
-You know he's fucking us.
-You and I are, probably for the first time ever, in total agreement. He wouldn't just stop.
-Well... what the fuck, man?
-No.
-If John Doe's head splits open and a U.F.O. flies out, I want you to have expected it.
-What is it?
-Well, I have to tell you... I think I've fallen in love with you.
-Slut.
-Kiss me on the lips.
-Stay with him.
-Wait!
-Throw your gun down now!
-Throw your weapon, detective! Now!
-Tell me it's not true.
-Put your gun down!!
-Don't do this... please...
-I'm sorry about this, Mrs. Gould. I really am.
-I need you to look at each one carefully... very carefully. Look for anything that seems strange or out of place. Anything at all.
-I don't know why... why now?
-Anything... anything missing or different.
-I don't see anything.
-Are you absolutely certain?
-This painting...
-What?
-It's nice to meet you. My husband has told me a lot about you... except your first name.
-Oh... um, William.
-It smells good.
-I hear you and Mills were high school sweethearts.
-High school and college, yes. Pretty hokey, huh? I knew on our first date this was the man I was going to marry. God... he was the funniest man I'd ever met.
-Don't worry. I don't wear it at the dinner table.
-You have a strange way about you... I mean interesting. I'm sorry. It's really none of my business. It's just nice to meet a man who talks like that. If David saw that paper, he'd say you're a fag. That's how he is.
-I was close once. It just didn't happen.
-It surprises me. It really does.
-How long have you lived here?
-I don't know, with this case.
-I mean, you known this city. You've been here for so long.
-It's a hard place.
-I feel strange being here with you... without David knowing.
-Perfect example.
-You have to put blinders on sometimes. Most times.
-I don't know why I asked you to come.
-Talk to him about it. He'll understand if you tell him how you feel.
-I can't be a burden, especially now. I know I'll get used to things. I guess I wanted to know what someone who's lived here thinks. Upstate, it was a completely different environment. I don't know if David told you, but I teach fifth grade, or did.
-I've been going to some of the schools, looking for work, but the conditions here are... horrible.
-You should look into private schools.
-Oh, Tracy... I have to tell you, I'm not the one to talk to about this.
-Well, I got up one morning and went to work... just like any other day, except it was my first since hearing about the baby. And, I... I felt this fear and anxiety washing over me. I looked around, and I thought, how can we raise a child surrounded by all this? How can a child grow up here? So, that night, I told
-I want to have children. It's just...
-Neighbors heard them screaming at each other for like two hours. It was nothing new. But, then they heard the gun go off. Both barrels.
-Did the wife confess?
-Why always like this? Only after the fact... this sudden realization, that if you shoot someone, or stick a knife in them, that person will cease to exist.
-Crime of passion.
-Yes. Look at all the passion splattered up on the wall here.
-Did their son see it happen?
-How's California?
-How should I know?
-But Mose Harper said...
-It was Ethan found you squallin' in a sage clump after your folks was massacred...
-Passed the Todd place comin' in... What happened to 'em?
-You askin' me to clear out now?
-Now, Ethan, I ain't sure...
-Lucy's going on seventeen now...
-An' she's got a beau! Kisses him, too!
-Not tonight...Ben, put that sword back.
-It's all right, ma...I been watchin'... Only I wish...
-What, Ben?
-Killed every one -- an' not for food either...Why'd they do a thing like that?
-Let's get along...
-They got to stop <U>sometime</U>...if they're human at all, they got to stop!
-You've said that enough!...Maybe Lucy's dead...maybe they're both dead...but if I hear it from you again, I'll fight ya, Mr. Edwards!
-Why'd they break off? Was there water in that canyon?
-What you saw wasn't Lucy.
-It was, I tell you!
-<U>Charlie</U> <U>MacCorry</U>!...You weren't fixin' to marry HIM??
-She sure is!...An' don't think your comin' back is goin' to change it!
-As to that, I don't know, Charlie... We hadn't got around to talkin' marriage...
-What right you got to be talkin' marriage to any decent woman...
-If you're talkin' about that crazy murder charge...
-It's all right...Charlie, let's move outside.
-Another one, eh?
-This 'un come a long way 'fore he died.
-Is this in the line of duty, sergeant?
-No sir...pleasure.
-You all right, sergeant?
-Dunno...Seems so.
-You're goin' if the captain says you're goin'...
-Ethan, you an' Martin are hereby appointed civilian scouts -- without pay...Charlie, hightail it to head- quarters an' spread the word...
-Haven't seen you since the surrender. Come to think of it, I didn't see you <U>at</U> the surrender.
-You ain't goin'...
-He sure <U>is</U> goin'...He's sworn in.
-You can forget that... Wouldn't be legal anyway.
-You askin' as a Reverend or a Captain, Sam?
-I'm askin' as a Ranger of the sovereign state of Texas.
-Got a warrant?
-You fit a lot of descriptions.
-He cometh forth like a...
-Amen!...Put an 'amen' to it!
-What good does that do?
-They're camped by the river -- 'bout twenty miles from here. Soon's it gets dark we'll circle out so's to jump 'em before day- break.
-It's what we're here for, ain't it?
-What do you know about it?...What's a quarter-breed Cherokee know about the Comanche trick of sleeping with his best pony tied right beside him...You got as much chance of stampedin' their herd as...
-...as you have of findin' those girls alive by ridin' into 'em... I say we do it my way, Ethan...and that's an order!
-You got any more orders, Captain?
-If you were tryin' to surround 'em, you sure succeeded.
-I didn't give any order to fire!
-That's all right, Captain...I don't need any formal invitation to kill a Comanch...
-Evenin'...evenin' Reverend...or do I call you 'Captain'...?
-Fight fair, son...Use your fists!
-I got to ask you and Martin to ride to the State Capitol with me, Ethan.
-This an invite to a necktie party, Reverend?
-We can get within 500 yards...there's a hogback to the south.
-How many, would you say?
-Now son, it's a bitter thing to say, but there's more than your sister at stake here.
-I didn't <U>want</U> to tell you...but maybe it's your right to know.
-I say NO!
-What in...?
-Go on! Whyn't you have your bugler sound the charge while you're at it??
-Sir?
-Never mind...Your pa know you're out here?
-Yes, sir...Troop's about ten miles back...The Colonel sent me looking for you...
-If there's anything I can do, sir...
-God forbid...No, son, you flog on back and tell your pa where we're at...and where he's at...
-But he knows THAT, sir...Can't I stay, sir?
-All right...But keep your eye on me, boy...I'm the hard case you're up against here -- not these childish savages...If you don't hear me first time I holler, you better read my mind...I don't aim to raise no two hollers on any subject at hand...
-Is Captain Clayton here, Reverend?
-Colonel Greenhill's compliments, sir. The Colonel wishes to know how soon you could put a company of Rangers in the field, fully armed and...
-Hold on, son...Who's this Colonel Greenhill you're talking about?
-Why Colonel Greenhill is Colonel Greenhill, sir...Commanding Officer, Fifth U.S. Cavalry...I'm Lieutenant Greenhill, sir.
-Oh...Now what's this your pa wants to know?
-My pa wants to know...<U>Colonel</U> <U>Greenhill</U> wants to know how soon you could put a company of your Rangers in the field, fully armed and equipped, for joint punitive action against the Comanches.
-JOINT action?
-And what makes you think he's in this territory?
-You tell your pa a company of Rangers -- all fourteen of 'em -- fully armed an' equipped will be in the field by daylight...headin' for the south end of the Malapai. If he can catch up with us, well an' good...
-But...but captain, we can't possibly take the field tomorrow...for your own protection...
-Martin! Ride me as far as the well!
-Unnt-meah!
-I don't care what they've done to you...what happened...
-No Debbie! That ain't what happened! They been lyin' to you...
-You lie! All white men lie...and kill...
-Debbie, think back! I'm Martin... remember? Remember how I used to let you ride my horse? Tell you stories? Don't you remember me, Debbie?
-I remember...from always...At first I prayed to you...come and get me... Take me home...You didn't come...
-I've come now...
-Ay-eh...They was here...
-Steady, Daniel Boone! You don't want to miss...It makes them think their medicine's stronger than yours...
-Leggo my arm...You look mangier 'n ever.
-Ain't been too good...No sir, not too good...Gettin' old, Ethan...
-Well, the reward still stands...
-Don't want no money, Ethan...jus' a place -- a roof over m' head...a little grub...a bunk to sleep in... an' a rockin' chair by the fire... my own rockin' chair by a fire...
-You help me find her, you got your rockin' chair...
-Swear it, Ethan?...Given word?
-Told ya, didn't I?
-Come f'r my rockin' chai'...ole Mose.
-Mose...try to remember!...You were in Scar's camp...
-Ay-eh...Made out I was crazy... Ate dirt...chewed grass...I fooled 'em, Ethan!...an' I got away...
-Scar! Where's he holed in?
-How'd you come by this?
-You said there'd be a thousand dollar reward.
-That's what I said.
-Talk!
-A young buck fetched it in late last summer... Said it belonged to a captive chile of Chief Scar...
-Scar? Never heard of any Chief Scar.
-Me neither...But this buck claimed he was a big war chief with the Nawyecky Comanches.
-Keep talking.
-Scar's band was headin' north...to winter in at Fort Wingate...eatin' agency beef. That's what this buck said...Maybe he lied.
-And maybe you lie...
-Don't forget to come back with my thousand dollars.
-Sir -- we charged!..Gentlemen -- and I hope you will quote me -- I cannot say too much for the courage of the men who followed me into that Cheyenne camp...
-<U>Cheyenne</U>! What Cheyenne?
-I beg your pardon?
-My name's Edwards...I'm looking for my niece...she was in that camp when you attacked...
-Are you sure they didn't die of carbine shots fired by a bunch o' Yank bluebellies so scared they couldn't tell the difference between a Cheyenne and a Comanche?
-Keefer!..Put this man under arrest!
-Not quite...Quarter Cherokee. The rest is Welsh...So they tell me.
-Somethin' mighty fishy about this trail, Uncle Ethan...
-Stop callin' me 'uncle'...I ain't your uncle.
-Yes, sir.
-What you want me to call you?
-Name's Ethan...Now what's so mighty fishy about this trail?
-Well, come on!
-Nothing for you to see.
-All right...but I'm givin' the orders...You take 'em or we split up here and now...
-Why, sure, Ethan...There's just the one thing we're after...finding Deborah and Lucy...
-Easy on that!
-Sorry...We don't even know if Debbie 'n Lucy are with this bunch...Maybe they split up...
-You want us to fire a shot if...
-You all right, Ethan?
-Say!...What happened to your blanket? Lose it?
-What you goin' to do?
-Say it. We're beat!
-And you think we got a chance to find her?
-Good night...Laurie...
-Jorgensen's been runnin' his cattle with my own...
-He's agreed to take you on and share the increase from my herd while I'm gone...I'll be pushin' on tomorrow...
-I ain't stayin'...I set out lookin' for Debbie...I aim to keep on...
-Why?
-Because she's my...my...
-She's your nothin'...She's no kin to you at all!
-I always felt like she was...Her folks takin' me in, raisin' me like one of their own...
-That don't make 'em kin...
-All right...I ain't got no kin... I'm goin' to keep lookin' that's all.
-Martin...I want you to know some- thin'...
-Yeah...you want me to know I ain't got no kin -- no money -- no horses -- nothing but a dead man's clothes to wear!..You tole me that already... Now shut your head!
-Hey! What's the idea...?
-Not so funny...if you recollect what 'Nawyecka' means...
-Sorta like 'roundabout' -- like a man says he's goin' one place when he means to go just the reverse...
-Oh...
-Futterman?
-He just couldn't wait...
-Let's go...I think I stumbled onto somethin'...
-When are you goin' to learn to keep your mouth shut! Come on. Let's get out of here.
-But I just bought a good blanket.
-What I heard back there was that a band o' hostile Nawyeckas came through this way less'n two weeks ago...
-<U>YOU</U> don't understand, ya chunkhead! <U>You</U> didn't buy any blanket! Ya bought <U>her</U>!
-What?
-You got yourself a <U>wife</U>, sonny!
-Oh no! Tell her she's got to go back...
-That's the way to train 'em. Looks like Mrs. Pauley's goin' to make you a fine beautiful wife...
-Says her name's Wild Goose Flying in the Night Sky...but she'll answer to Look since it pleases ya...
-You ask her!
-Beats me how she could get that pony out o' camp without neither of us hearin' a thing...
-She ain't goin' back to her family, that's certain...not if she took off where the arrow points.
-Think she means for us to follow?
-I think maybe we oughta...
-Ethan, quit it!
-Nine... Ten!
-Least, <U>THEY</U> won't feed any Comanches this winter...Killin' buffalo's as good as killin' Injuns in this country.
-Peaceful tribes depend on the buffalo, too....
-Well, you're a widower now...
-No...She's not...
-Lemme alone...
-Suit yourself...While you're enjoyin' your little conversation, I'll be ridin' out with Senor Fernandez here... The Comanch' medicine country ain't far...there's one camp with a chief named Cicatriz.
-Never heard of him...
-Stay out here.
-You figger Scar means to kill us?
-He's got to...All these years, run- nin', dodgin', knowin' we were after him...Now we caught up...It's him or us.
-Why didn't he make his move back there?
-How? She's even forgot her own language!
-Go on! Get out of here while you can...
-They'll be back...
-'I, Ethan Edwards, being of sound mind and without any blood kin, do hereby bequeath all my property of any kind to Martin Pauley...' I don't want your property.... 'Sides, what do you mean no 'blood kin?' Debbie's your blood kin...
-Not no more.
-You can keep your will! I ain't forgettin' you was all set to shoot her yourself...What kind o' man are you, anyway.
-What's that got to do with us?
-Wait! We go chargin' in, they'll kill her...and you know it.
-I know you are...Only it ain't goin' to be that way...she's alive...
-Livin' with Comanches ain't bein' alive...
-I saw it...And don't try to tell me it was Aunt Martha's or Lucy's...
-Was your niece about their age?
-Not far from it...
-Hard to realize they're white, isn't it...
-Well, we only got the one lead -- Scar...And where we begin to look, I don't know...
-There's one thing. We recovered a bushel of trinkets in that camp... cheap stuff...trade goods...Couldn't help noticing that most of it was Mexican...Maybe if you could talk to some of those Mexican traders along the border...What do they call themselves?
-Comancheros...
-That's the breed...Course it might take time.
-I'd be obliged if you'd get to the point, ma'am.
-Well, you did all a body could, Ethan.
-I got your boy killed.
-Why it's just a snip of calico...
-You ever see it before...like mebbe on a dress Debbie wore?
-Yes!..Yes, I remember!..Have they found her, Ethan?
-She's not a little girl any more.
-You've seen her!...She's alive?
-Oh, all right! Well...Martin says...
-From the beginning...
-'Dear Miss Laury'...He spells it with a Y instead of an I...E...Wouldn't you think he'd know...
-Who cares what he spells it? Read the letter.
-The <U>late</U> Mister Futterman?
-Every young man should at least once...Go on, Laurie! Read!
-They never find that girl.
-Don't go takin' that stuff...
-What you gettin' red-in-the-face for?...I have brothers, haven't I?
-Well I ain't one of 'em!
-I'm a woman, Martie... We wash and mend your dirty clothes all our lives...When you're little we even wash <U>you</U>....How a man can ever make out to get bashful in front of a woman I'll never know...
-You talk like a feller might just as leave run around nekkid...
-Might at least have left me my pants!
-Futterman!...He's got a little tradin' post on the South Fork o' the Brazos...Laurie, I just got to get me a good horse! Think yer pa would...
-Finish your breakfast...
-I gotta catch up with him, Laurie!
-Go on then! Pa's in the barn saddlin' the Fort Worth stud... an' you can take the light gelding with the blaze...
-Take it and welcome...but don't count on finding me here when you get back...I've been dallying around this god-forsaken wind-scour almost two long years waitin' for you...I ain't cut out to be an old maid!
-I...I wrote you a letter...Reckon you didn't get it...
-One letter in five years...I read it till the paper dried up and the writing faded out...
-It wasn't much of a letter...
-No, it wasn't...You mighta said you loved me...You mighta asked me to wait...At least that'd have been something...
-But I allus loved you...You know that, without my sayin' it...I couldn't bring myself to ask you to wait...the little I had... not knowin' how much longer until we found Debbie...
-Don't cry, Laurie...I understand how it is...I'll just go 'way...
-Martie...don't go! Not this time.
-You crazy?
-It's too late...She's a woman grown now...
-I got to fetch her home...
-Fetch <U>what</U> home?...The leavin's of Comanche bucks -- sold time an' again to the highest bidder?...With savage brats of her own, most like?...
-<U>Laurie</U>! Shut your mouth!
-Do you know what Ethan will do if he has a chance?...He'll put a bullet in her brain! And I tell you Martha would want him to!
-She'd be about thirteen now...
-We got two around that age...
-Where?
-You'll have to wait until we reach the agency...Fall in behind the column...
-But couldn't you...?
-Why else?
-Say it anyway. Come on, how much do you love me?
-I have to cut his windpipe...
-You're not a doctor, you'll hurt him!
-Ellen, move aside...
-Stop that!
-So, how does it feel to be kissed by two women?
-They say it's fantastic. At least that's what I read in a men's magazine. So who are the two lucky ones?
-Oh, the muse... we're still having our differences. You know how it is with women.
-What kind of a horrible thing is that?
-It still worked in town.
-I mean the armchair!
-Maybe the antenna's broken.
-Hey... the fuse.
-Do you know where fuse box is?
-Look at this! We'll have to fix the whole wiring. This stuff is dangerous as hell.
-We'll call for someone from town first thing in the morning.
-Are you crazy? That costs a fortune!
-Do you have a better idea?
-I'll do it myself.
-You?
-My father was an electrician. Already forgot that?
-Hey, flower child, the sixties are over. And this stuff is hazardous to your health.
-Where are you going?
-What are you doing?
-Is everything alright? Aren't you feeling well?
-Maybe I should talk to Dr. Roth about it.
-I have a funny feeling. Do you think we'll get over all that's happened?
-We just have to make a new beginning.
-Cherry-red Tears.
-What?
-Cherry-red Tears, your first book. I read it at least nine times. And then I found out you were going to attend some kind of book fair.
-Not a book fair. I was signing autographs in a department store.
-I was so excited about meeting you. Again and again, I kept getting in the back of the line so I could be the last to talk to you.
-I miss Tommi so much.
-So do I, believe me.
-Do you really think anything can ever be like it was before?
-Maybe different. I don't know, Ellen.
-Who was that?
-Martin, it's not funny!
-Well, apparently it was a big mistake to try talking to you. Don't you remember what we promised to each other? Honesty - trust!
-Now, what did I do to deserve this?
-So, did you sleep good?
-Hey, you're still here. I suppose you like it here with us.
-Don't tell me you've made friends with that wandering flea circus?
-Where have you been all day?
-But that's not the point! What if all these things are somehow connected?
-Where have you been?
-"Events commonly interpreted as haunting apparitions often result from psychic disharmonies or undigested traumatic ordeals..."
-It's just a feeling. Don't you sense it, too?
-What? What am I supposed to sense?
-Who's that?
-What?
-She was old.
-Old?! Come look at this! She has wounds. Wounds on her head. Like thrashes. Or bites.
-Maybe an animal.
-Let me guess: Another short circuit?
-During the Middle Ages people were executed at every corner. What's your point?
-This house, the whole damned area around here is one mass grave... Now you might call me crazy, but there is something negative about the place.
-Will you finally cut it out? Just in case you haven't noticed, I am trying to write a book here. And maybe - even with your birdbrains - you can figure it's a pretty tough job. So why can't you just leave me alone?
-Martin, what-
-You know what I have to do now, and believe me: I don't enjoy doing this.
-Of course you'll give me the blame again. Like back then. Just a tiny cut and he could still be alive today - isn't that right, Ellen?
-Oh, Ellen. My sweet Ellen... Of course I knew.
-I told you, there is no way out. He won't let you go.
-It's important - he knows the last chapter.
-You know, Tommi wants me to become the man I used to be.
-What?
-How did you get me out of there?
-For God's sake, what happened to me?
-Ellen.
-Oh, Ellen! I've been wondering when you'd come. Why don't you step in.
-I really hate to bother him, but...
-Frank Kosinski. Here's the address. Go see him. Ask him.
-That's alright. Don't misunderstand my husband. It's only that he's already had enough problems with this case. And who would believe him if he told the truth?
-But what is the truth?
-Hello. Can I help you?
-No, I've never seen him before.
-Ellen Straub.
-It's a pleasure. You're from the city, right?
-Do I look like it that much?
-I guess it's too lonely for most folks. It's time for me to get going. It's been a pleasure meeting you.
-You know, after doing that job for so many years, you learn to appreciate the simple things in life. Flowers incorporate a beauty that I always missed in life. But certainly, you're not here to chat about my hobbies.
-Do yourself a favor: Don't ask.
-Listen, it's one thing to have a guilt complex. But I know the difference between when I'm overstrung and when I'm seeing things that are simply not there! Besides, it only began after we moved!
-And that is?
-Mrs. Straub!
-I've killed my husband!
-What?
-It all went so fast. He was out of his mind and then all of sudden there was this screwdriver. I only wanted to defend myself. You have to call the police...
-Oh, Mrs. Straub. May I introduce you to my wife?
-Stop scaring people. Let's go. We need to be on our way.
-You didn't tell her!
-We should leave the past alone.
-I think it's starting again. You know... there was something peculiar. If only I knew...
-Peculiar? You mean, like back then?
-Hammer?
-Well, look here!
-Damn, this thing is heavy. Where do you want to have it?
-Tenth floor.
-Look at this. The lock is totally demolished.
-Twenty-three, to be exact.
-Hey, my man! How's the masterpiece coming along?
-We are in desperate want of a Mercutio, Ned, a young nobleman of Verona
-And the title of this piece?
-Will Where is Mercutio?
-You did not like the speech?
-Ned I know I know
-It's good.
-Oh
-The title won't do.
-Ah
-Romeo and Juliet--just a suggestion.
-You are a gentleman.
-Oh what have I done?
-Follow that boat!
-I know your face. Are you an actor?
-Yes.
-Yes, I've seen you in something. That one about a king.
-Really?
-Do you know that house?
-Oh, Thomas! She has cut my strings! I am unmanned, unmended, and unmade, like a puppet in a box.
-Thank you, my lady!
-Lady?
-What do you want, Kit?
-My Massacre at Paris is complete.
-You have the last act?
-You have the money?
-Tomorrow.
-Then tomorrow you will have the pages.
-Wait! Will you desist!
-Twenty pounds on delivery
-What is money to me like us? Besides, if I need a play, I have another waiting, a comedy by Shakespeare.
-Romeo?--he gave it to Henslowe.
-Never!
-Well, I am to Deptford now, I leave my respects, Miss Rosaline.
-I gave Shakespeare two sovereigns for Romeo!
-You did. But Ned Alleyn and the Admiral's Men have the playing of it as the Rose.
-Burbage, I will see you hanged for a pickpocket.
-The Queen has commanded, she loves a comedy and the Master of the Revels favours us.
-And what favour does Mr. Tilney receive from you?
-We have no Juliet!
-We will all be put in the clink.
-There is no dog in the first scene, Will Kempe, thank you. How goes it Will?
-I am still owed money for this play, Burbage.
-Not from me. I only stole it. When are you coming over to the Chamberlain's Men?
-Are you writing?
-A comedy. All but done, a pirate comedy, wonderful.
-What is the chief part?
-Romeo. Wit, swordsman, lover.
-The title?
-Romeo
-I will play him. Bring it tomorrow.
-It's for Henslowe. He paid me.
-How much?
-Ten pounds.
-I swear it. He wants Romeo for Ned and the Admiral's Men.
-Here is two sovereigns--I'll give you two more when you show me the pages.
-Words, words, words once, I had the gift I could make love out of words as a potter makes cups out of clay love that overthrows empires, love that binds two hearts together come hellfire and brimstones for sixpence a line, I could cause a riot in a nunnery but now
-Black Sue, Fat Phoebe, Rosaline, Burbage's seamstress; Aphrodite, who does it behind the Dog and
-Aye, now and again, but what of it? I have lost my gift.
-I am here to help you. Tell me in your own words.
-I have lost my gift. It's as if my quill is broken. As if the organ of the imagination has dried up. As if the proud tower of my genius has collapsed.
-Interesting.
-Nothing comes.
-Most interesting.
-It is like trying to a pick a lock with a wet herring.
-How long has it been?
-A goodly length in times past, but lately
-A woman of property?
-She had a cottage. One day, she was three months gone with child, so
-And your relations?
-On my mother's side the Ardens
-No, your marriage bed.
-Four years and a hundred miles away in Stratford. A cold bed too, since the twins were born. Banishment was a blessing.
-So now you are free to love
-Will it restore my gift?
-Gentlemen! Thank you! You are welcome.
-I saw his Tamburlaine, you know. Wonderful.
-Yes, I saw it.
-Mr. Fennyman, because you love the theatre you must have a part in my play. I am writing an Apothecary, a small but vital role.
-I have not said all. By malign fate, the message goes astray which would tell Romeo of the Friar's plan. He hears only that Juliet is dead. And thus he goes to the Apothecary.
-That's me.
-When?
-Two weeks, three at the most, Aaaagh! For pity's sake.
-I have a wonderful new play!
-Put his feet in.
-It's a comedy.
-Cut his nose off.
-A new comedy. By Will Shakespeare!
-And his ears.
-And a share. We will be partners, Mr. Fennyman!
-Partners!
-What's the title?
-Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter.
-But I have to pay the actors and the authors.
-A share of the profits.
-There's never any
-Of course not!
-Romeo and Ethel The Pirate's Daughter Almost finished?
-This time we take your boots off!
-What have I done, Mr. Fennyman?
-The theatres are all closed by the plague!
-Oh, that.
-by order of the Master of the Revels!
-Mr. Fennyman, let me explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster. Believe me, to be close by the plague is a bagatelle in the ups and downs of owning a theatre.
-So what do we do?
-Nothing. Strangely enough , it all turns out well.
-How?
-Where is the play?
-Is it going well?
-Very well.
-But nothing is happening.
-I want no more trouble, Mr. Fennyman. As I explained to you, the theatre business
-Mr. Shakespeare has given me the part of the Apothecary!
-Well, that will have them rolling in the aisles.
-Ned, I swear I knew nothing of this!
-It is over.
-No Juliet?!
-it will be all right, madam.
-What happened to Sam?
-Who are you?
-Do you know it?
-Will! Where is my play? Tell me you have it nearly done! Tell me you have it started. You have begun?
-Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move
-No, no, we haven't the time. Talk prose. Where is my play?
-It is all locked safe in here
-God be praised! Locked?
-Who is she this time?!
-She is always Aphrodite.
-Aphrodite Baggot who does it behind the Dog and Trumpet?
-Henslowe, you have no soul so how can you understand the emptiness that seeks a soulmate?
-Well, I am a dead man and buggered to boot. My theatre is close by the plague these twelve weeks, my company is playing the inn-yards of England, while Burbage and the Chamberlain's Men are invited to court and receive ten pounds to play your piece, written for my theatre, by my writer, at my risk when you were green and grateful -
-What piece? Richard Crookback?
-No--it's comedy they want, Will! Comedy! Like Romeo and Ethel?
-Who wrote that?
-Nobody! You are writing it for me! I gave you three pounds a month since.
-Mr. Henslowe, will you lend me fifty pounds?
-Fifty pounds? What for?
-Burbage offers me a partnership in the Chamberlain's Men. For fifty pounds my hired player days are over.
-Cut out my heart! Throw my liver to the dogs!
-Where are you going?
-Now where? Will?
-I feel a scene coming on.
-Romeo and Rosaline. Scene One! God, I'm good!
-Will! Have you finished?
-My tailor. Wants to be an actor. I have a few debts here and there. Well, that seems to be everybody. Did you see a Romeo?
-I did not.
-Well, I to my work, you to yours. When can I see pages?
-We are at least six men short, and those we have will be overparted, ranters and stutterers who should be sent back to the stews. My Romeo has let me down. I see disaster.
-Nobody. The author.
-We are about to embark on a great voyage.
-It is customary to make a little speech on the first day. It does no harm and authors like it.
-Cut round him for now.
-What? Who?
-Romeo.
-The one who came with your letter?
-Juliet? You mean Ethel.
-By God, I wish I knew.
-We are lost.
-No, it will turn out well.
-How will it?
-Another little problem.
-What do we do now?
-The show must you know
-Go on.
-Juliet does not come on for twenty pages. It will be all right.
-How will it?
-Kit
-How goes it, Will?
-Wonderful, wonderful.
-Burbage says you have a play.
-I insist--and a beaker for Mr. Marlowe. The BARMAN does the business.
-I hear you have a new play for the Curtain.
-Not new--my Doctor Faustus.
-I love your early work. "Was this the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium?"
-I have a new one nearly done, and better. The Massacre at Paris.
-Good title.
-And yours?
-Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter. Yes, I know.
-What is the story?
-Well, there's a pirate In truth, I have not written a word.
-Romeo is Italian. Always in and out of love.
-Yes, that's good. Until he meets
-Ethel.
-Do you think?
-The daughter of his enemy.
-The daughter of his enemy.
-His best friend is killed in a duel by Ethel's brother or something. His name is Mercutio.
-Good luck with yours, Kit.
-I thought your play was for Burbage.
-This is a different one.
-"Good morrow, cousin."
-"But new struck nine."
-"Ay me, sad hours seem long. Was that my father that went hence so fast?"
-It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?"
-"Out."
-"Of love?"
-Two hours at prayer!
-Lady Viola is pious, my lord.
-Piety is for Sunday! And two hours at prayer is not piety, it is self- importance!
-It would be better that you return tomorrow, my lord.
-Not ready? Where is she?
-Be patient, my lord, she is dressing.
-Be good to her, my lord!
-God bless you!
-Did you like Proteus or Valentine best? Proteus for speaking, Valentine for looks.
-I liked the dog, for laughs.
-But Silvia I did not care for much. His fingers were red from fighting and he spoke like a schoolboy at lessons. Stage love will never be true love while the law of the land has our heroines played by pipsqueak boys in petticoats! Oh, when can we see another?
-When the Queen commands it.
-But at the playhouse. Nurse?
-Playhouses are not for well-born ladies.
-I am not so well-born.
-Well-monied is the same as well-born and well-married is more so. Lord Wessex was looking at you tonight.
-All the men at court are without poetry. If they look at me they see my father's fortune. I will have poetry in my life. And adventure. And love. Love above all.
-Like Valentine and Silvia?
-No . . . not the artful postures of love, but love that over- throws life. Unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture. Love like there has never been in a play. I will have love or I will end my days as a . . .
-As a nurse.
-He sees himself in me! Romeo Montague, a young man of Verona.
-Verona again.
-Your mother, and your father
-From tomorrow, away in the country for three weeks! Is Master Shakespeare not handsome?
-He looks well enough for a mountebank.
-Oh, Nurse! He would give Thomas Kent the life of Viola De Lesseps's dreaming.
-My lady, this play will end badly. I will tell.
-Your Majesty.
-I have seen you. You are the one who comes to all the plays--at Whitehall, at Richmond.
-Your Majesty.
-What do you love so much?
-Your Majesty
-Speak out! I know who I am. Do you love stories of kings and queens? Feats of arms? Or is it courtly love?
-I love theatre. To have stories acted for me by a company of fellows is indeed
-And--?
-And I love poetry above all.
-But playwrights teach nothing about love, they make it pretty, they make it comical, or they make it lust. They cannot make it true.
-Your Majesty
-Your Majesty!
-Why, Lord Wessex! Lost your wife so soon?
-As stories must when love's denied--with tears and a journey. Those whom God has joined in marriage, not even I can put asunder.
-Lord Wessex, as I foretold, has lost his wife in the play- house--go make your farewell and send her out. It's time to settle accounts. How much was the wager?
-Fifty shillings. Pounds.
-"I know not."
-" All my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay, And follow thee my lord throughout the world."
-"Madam!"
-"I come, anon--But if thou meanest not well, I do beseech thee--"
-"Madam!"
-When will you write me a sonnet, Will?
-I have lost my gift.
-You left it in my bed. Come to look for it again.
-Are you to be my muse, ROSALINE?
-Will!
-Mr. Pope! Mr. Phillips! Welcome, George Bryan! James Armitage! Sam! My pretty one! Are you ready to fall in love again?
-I am, Master Shakespeare.
-But your voice Have they dropped?
-No, no, a touch of cold only. We suspect he is lying but WILL has turned away.
-Master Shakespeare
-Luck be with you, Sam. Sam ?
-It is not my fault, Master Shakespeare. I could do it yesterday.
-Sam! Do me a speech, do me a line.
-" Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"
-"Ay pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."
-"Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purg'd."
-"Then have my lips the sin that they have took."
-"The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars As daylight doth a lamp. Her eyes in heaven Would through the airy region stream so bright That birds would sing and think it were not night. See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. O that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek.
-"Ay me."
-I would not for the world!
-"O wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"
-"What satisfaction can'st thou have tonight?"
-She is a beauty, my lord, as would take a king to church for a dowry of a nutmeg.
-My plantations in Virginia are not mortgaged for a nutmeg. I have an ancient name that will bring you preferment when your grandson is a Wessex. Is she fertile?
-She will breed. If she do not, send her back.
-Is she obedient?
-As any mule in Christendom. But if you are the man to rider her, their are rubies in the saddlebag.
-Like you, I found him not at home!
-What does Burbage care of that? He is readying the Curtain for Kit Marlowe.
-You have opened the playhouses?
-I have, Master Shakespeare.
-But the plague
-Who are you, master?
-I am Ethel, sir, the Pirate's daughter.
-Better fortune, boy.
-I was in a play. They cut my head off in Titus Andronicus. When I write plays, they will be like Titus.
-I like it when they cut heads off. And the daughter mutilated with knives.
-Wait, you'll see the cat bites his head off.
-My lady!
-Who is there?
-Anon, good nurse. Anon. Master Shakespeare?!
-The same, alas.
-Oh but why "alas?"
-A lowly player.
-Alas indeed, for I thought you the highest poet of my esteem and a writer of plays that capture my heart.
-Oh my lady, my love!
-If they find you here they will kill you.
-You can bring them with a word.
-Can you love a fool?
-Wait! You are still a maid and perhaps as mistook in me as I was mistook in Thomas Kent.
-Answer me only this: are you the author of the plays of William Shakespeare?
-I am.
-I do not know how to undress a man.
-I would not have thought it. There is something better than a play.
-There is.
-Even your play.
-Oh
-And that was only my first try.
-You would not leave me?
-I must. Look-- how pale the window.
-Moonlight!
-No, the morning rooster woke me.
-Oh, let Henslowe wait.
-Mr. Henslowe?
-Let him be damned for his pages!
-Oh--no, no!
-There is time. It is still dark.
-It is broad day! The rooster tells us so!
-Oh, do not go
-Oh, Will!
-"Good night, good night. As sweet repose and rest Come to thy heart as that within my breast. O wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"
-That's my line!
-I found something in my sleep. The Friar who married them will take up their destinies.
-Oh, but it will end well for love?
-In heaven, perhaps. It is not a comedy I am writing now. A broad river divides my lovers--family, duty, fate--as unchangeable as nature.
-You cannot! Not for the Queen herself!
-What will you have me do? Marry you instead?
-To be the wife of a poor player?--can I wish that for Lady Viola, except in my dreams? And yet I would, if I were free to follow my desire in the harsh light of day.
-You follow your desire freely enough in the night. So, if that is all, to Greenwich I go.
-Then I will go with you.
-You cannot, Wessex will kill you
-I know how to fight!
-Will! What--?
-Marlowe's touch was in my Titus Andronicus and my Henry VI was a house built on his foundations.
-You never spoke so well of him.
-He was not dead before. I would exchange all my plays to come for all of his that will never come.
-You lie in your meadow as you lied in my bed.
-My love is no lie. I have a wife, yes, and I cannot marry the daughter of Sir Robert de Lesseps. It needed no wife come from Stratford to tell you that. And yet you let me come to your bed.
-Calf love. I loved the writer, and gave up the prize for a sonnet.
-I love you, Will, beyond poetry.
-Oh, my love You ran from me before.
-You were not dead before. When I thought you dead, I did not care about all the plays that will never come, only that I would never see your face. I saw our end, and it will come.
-You cannot marry Wessex!
-No no.
-Will you read it for me?
-"Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day> It was the nightingale and not the lark That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear. Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree. Believe me, love, it was the nightingale."
-" thou need'st not to be gone."
-A hired player no longer. Fifty pounds, Will, for the poet of true love.
-I am done with theatre. The playhouse is for dreamers. Look where the dream has brought us.
-It was we ourselves did that. And for my life to come I would not have it otherwise.
-I have hurt you and I am sorry for it.
-The Queen commands a comedy, Will for Twelfth Night.
-A comedy! What will my hero be but the saddest wretch in the kingdom, sick with love?
-An excellent beginning Let him be a duke. And your heroine?
-Sold in marriage and half way to America.
-At sea, then--a voyage to a new world? she lands upon a vast and empty shore. She is brought to the duke Orsino.
-Orsino good name
-But fearful of her virtue, she comes to him dressed as a boy
-But all ends well.
-How does it?
-You will never age for me, nor fade, nor die.
-Nor you for me.
-Good bye, my love, a thousand times good bye.
-My lady Viola.
-My lord.
-I have spoken with your father.
-My lady VIOLA.
-Lord Wessex. You have been waiting.
-I am aware of it, but it is beauty's privilege.
-You flatter, my lord.
-No. I have spoken to the Queen. Her majesty's consent is requisite when a Wessex takes a wife, and once gained, her consent is her command.
-Do you intend to marry, my lord?
-Your father should keep you better informed. He has bought me for you. He returns from his estates to see us married two weeks from Saturday. You are allowed to show your pleasure.
-I do not love you, my lord.
-How your mind hops about! Your father was a shopkeeper, your children will bear arms, and I will recover my fortune. That is the only matter under discussion today. You will like Virginia.
-Virginia?!
-Why, yes! My fortune lies in my plantations. The tobacco weed. I need four thousand pounds to fit out a ship and put my investments to work--I fancy tobacco has a future. We will not stay there long, three or four years . . .
-But why me?
-Will you defy your father and your Queen?
-The Queen has consented?
-She wants to inspect you. At Greenwich, come Sunday. Be submissive, modest, grateful and brief.
-Good morning, my lord!
-I mean Your Majesty, they do not, they have not, but I believe there is one who can
-You look sad, my lady! Let me take you riding.
-It is not my riding day, my lord.
-Bless me, I thought it was a horse.
-I am going to church.
-I understand of course. It is to be expected.
-It is to be expected on a Sunday.
-And on a day of mourning. I never met the fellow but once at your house.
-Mourning? Who is dead, my lord?
-He is dead?
-Your name?
-Take off your hat.
-My hat?
-Where did you learn how to do that?
-I . . .
-Wait there.
-Are you Mr. Shakespeare?
-Yes, sir.
-Do you understand me?
-No, sir.
-I am very sorry, sir, I have not seen Act Two.
-She tells me to keep away. She is to marry Lord Wessex. What should I do?
-If you love her, you must do what she asks.
-And break her heart and mine?
-It is only ours you can know.
-She loves me, Thomas!
-Does she say so?
-No. And yet she does where the ink has run with tears. Was she weeping when she gave you this?
-I Her letter came to me by the nurse.
-Your aunt?
-Yes, my aunt. But perhaps she wept a little. Tell me how you love her, Will.
-Like a sickness and its cure together.
-Yes, like rain and sun, like cold and heat. Is your lady beautiful? Since I came to visit from the country, I have not seen her close. Tell me, is she beautiful?
-And her lips?
-Oh, Thomas, her lips! The early morning rose would wither on the branch, if it could feel envy!
-And her voice? Like lark song?
-Deeper. Softer. None of your twittering larks! I would banish nightingales from her garden before they interrupt her song.
-She sings too?
-Constantly. Without doubt. And plays the lute, she has a natural ear. And her bosom--did I mention her bosom?
-What of her bosom?
-Oh Thomas, a pair of pippins! As round and rare as golden apples!
-I think the lady is wise to keep your love at a distance. For what lady could live up to it close to, when her eyes and lips and voice may be no more beautiful than mine? Besides, can a lady born to wealth and noble marriage love happily with a Bankside poet and player?
-Yes, by God! Love knows nothing of rank or riverbank! It will spark between a queen and the poor vagabond who plays the king, and their love should be minded by each, for love denied blights the soul we owe to God! So tell my lady, William Shakespeare waits for her in the garden!
-But what of Lord Wessex?
-Oh!--it's--it's--oh, it's a house of ill- repute!
-"Poet?"
-How do I offend, my lord?
-By coveting my property. I cannot shed blood in her house but I will cut your throat anon. You have a name?
-Here we come at last, my lord!
-Are you bringing your laundry woman?
-Her chaperone. My lady's country cousin. My, but you be a handsome gallant, just as she said! You may call me Miss Wilhelmina!
-On a more fortuitous occasion, perhaps
-Is there a man?
-A man, my lord?
-There was a man, poet--a theatre poet, I heard--does he come to the house?
-A theatre poet?
-An insolent penny-a-page rogue, Marlowe, he said, Christopher Marlowe--has he been to the house?
-Marlowe? Oh yes, he is the one, lovely waistcoat, shame about the poetry.
-You upstart inky pup! Now I will show you your place, which is in hell!
-You are on my ground.
-What's his name?
-All right, just a few questions.
-Do a little freebasemaybe, from time to time?
-Turning very briefly to the subject of corporate finance -- no, this is important. Leveraged buy-outs -- a good thing or a bad thing?
-Squash is often used as a metaphor to represent a struggle for personal domination.
-Serve.
-I was trying to educate you.
-Just serve.
-In the same fashion as chess.
-What?
-Chess. Chess is often used as well.
-Will you shut up and play.
-You're a bad loser.
-I don't want to devalue your victory, but I just want you to know: I wasn't trying to win.
-Victory is the same as defeat. It's giving in to destructive competitive urges.
-You learn that in your psychotherapy group?
-What do you think?
-About what?
-About this guy, this Hugo person.
-I don't have time.
-I'm only asking what you think.
-He made it clear.
-Only on expenses.
-No, she's not in. Without waiting for any more, he replaces the reciever and walks to the door, where he picks up the mail. On his way back from the door, David emerges, ready to go to work.
-Have you seen him?
-Alex, I don't have the time --
-Yes or no, yes or no, yes or --
-I saw my grandmother, of course, but I don't suppose that counts. I mean, she was alive at the time.
-No.
-Think about it.
-No.
-Come on, David.
-No.
-You mean immoral.
-I'm only asking you both to think about it.
-It's asick idea, Alex. It's sick.
-But don't tell me that you're not tempted by it. Don't tell me that you're not interested. I know you well enough.
-You think so?
-He's still here.
-He couldn't get his car started.
-When are you going to let the police know?
-You call them if you want.
-Now what else? DAVID I don't know.
-A spade, we need a spade -- I wish you would concentrate -- we need a spade if we're going to dig a pit.
-So who's going to do it?
-Dig the pit, I don't know.
-No, not that.
-Then what? Who's going to do what?
-You know what I'm talking about.
-Do I? What? What? What are you talking about?
-You know what. Who's going to do it.
-We all are, David, we're all going to do it. Each of us, you, me and Juliet, will do his or her bit. Is that fair enough?
-I can't do it.
-I don't hear this.
-I won't be able to.
-You're telling me you want out? Already? You're telling me you don't want the money? Hugo is going off. He smells. The flat smells. We can't wait any longer.
-Family? Family? Friends? Drugged-up wandering suicidal search of the self fuck-ups don't have families, David.
-I just thought we should discuss it.
-I don't know.
-Finished.
-But not quite.
-Don't you worry about that.
-Is this necessary?
-That was good.
-Can we talk about something?
-Listen, it's important. We need to talk about what we're going to do --
-What's the problem?
-I want to talk now.
-After you drink to love and happiness forever.
-Now.
-Good luck. I love that guy, but why does he have to follow us around?
-Yeah, but you were good, you were really good. Fucking bin-bag', I liked that. You were good. You explored your maleness to the full there.
-How much did you pay?
-I don't know.
-How much did you pay?
-I don't know.
-How much?
-What is this?
-Security.
-From what? Jehovah's Witnesses?
-There was a break-in.
-Doesn't it worry you?
-What's all this for, more security?
-I fitted a lock up there. On the inside.
-What? Yes, that's fine.
-You're sure? There's lots more.
-No, I'm sure, that'll be enough.
-What's wrong?
-Nothing.
-You're not eating.
-Not eating what?
-Not eating like you used to, that's what.
-I want to secure it.
-You looking for me?
-Looking for you? Yes.
-What for? What did you want? The money? Was that it?
-Who?
-Your friends.
-It wasn't deep enough. I told you it wasn't deep enough, but you wouldn't listen.
-It doesn't neccessarily matter. They don't even know who those people are, and even if they did, they have nothing to connect them with us, nothing at all.
-I'm glad you're so certain, Alex. It makes us feel a whole lot better.
-But they know.
-They can know all they like, it won't do them the slightest bit of good --
-They know.
-They know? So what? They have nothing, there is nothing, to connect us to that bodies stuff.
-Sex lines? Is that it? Triple X-rated interactive fantasy? Old habits die hard.
-Yeah, I was phoning your mother.
-You old devil. Well, anyway, as you can see, we're leaving.
-So I gathered.
-Yeah, I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.
-It's all right. I'll forward your mail.
-No, really, I am sorry, sorry to be ducking out on you like this. I hope you won't take it personally.
-Oh, no, no, no. Don't let it worry you. Not at all. It's probably for the best.
-For the best. Exactly. I wouldn't want things to end on a downer.
-Not at all.
-I mean, we've had ups and downs, right -- good times, bad times?
-Yeah?
-No, can't think of anything else that matters.
-About the mail --
-It's very kind of you to offer, but --
-Where do you think you'll go?
-What?
-I bought the tickets. One for her and one for me. It was my idea.
-Out in the woods. Three bodies. Decomposed. Mutilated. Beyond recognition.
-I don't know anything about it.
-Of course you don't know anything about it. If you knew anything about it, I wouldn't have to send you over there to cover it.
-Cover it?
-Well?
-But there's no --
-Animals involved? I know, but you need a change. And besides, we're short.
-I don't know.
-Don't know what?
-Is this being recorded?
-This is just an informal discussion.
-Are you recording it?
-What does it look like?
-It looks like he's writing everything down.
-That's because he is. Does that upset you?
-No. Why should it?
-Well, then?
-I've never seen any of these men before.
-Take another look at these two.
-I don't know them.
-And if I told you their car was parked outside, would that surprise you?
-Well, is it?
-What?
-Parked outside?
-That's it, then.
-That's all?
-Sorry to waste your time.
-Oh, no problems. Don't worry.
-Just one thing.
-What? Uh, no, no, it's a fake. I picked it up in Thailand. The second hand doesn't sweep, you see.
-Right.
-That's right.
-Well, Cameron, are you comfortable?
-Yes, thanks.
-Good. Well, you've seen the flat?
-Yes.
-And you like it?
-Oh, yes, it's great.
-Yes. It is, isn't it? We alllike it. And the room's nice too, don't you think?
-Yes.
-Spacious, quiet, bright, well appointed, all that sort of stuff, all that crap.
-Well, yes.
-What?
-Cameron.
-Cameron?
-Yes.
-When you slaughter a goat and wrench its heart out with your bare hands, do you then summon hellfire?
-When you get up in the morning, how do you decide what shade of black to wear?
-And when did anyone last say to you these exact words: You are the sunshine of my life'?
-Did you know --
-I thought you stopped going.
-God, you two are sensitive. All I'm doing is implying some sort of sordid, ugly, sexual liason. Why, I'd be proud of that sort of thing.
-Maybe you should go, Alex.You'll meet someone wonderful.
-For my life? At a discussion group? I think not.
-For the flat.
-No. Be someone else like him. One is enough. And what happened to that girl, that friend of yours, the one that came round. I liked her. I really felt we had something. She could have moved in. We had chemistry.
-She hated you --
-Well, she had problems --
--- more than anyone she has ever met. In her whole life.
-Has he tried down the back of the fridge? I mean, that's where I normally find things.
-Who was it?
-So we'll meet him, then?
-Aroused and inflamed.
-Alex.
-I'm not usually drunk.
-In a moment he's going to tell he could have been someone --
-It was you, Juliet, it was you --
--- instead of what he is --
-What I am.
--- which is --
--- which is a hack.
-The man we know and love.
-A miserable, burnt-out, empty shell of a -- Alex pauses, looks at his drink, then at Juliet.
-Know and love?
-Yeah.
-I think you're lying.
-You're right.
-You see, they don't really know me.
-Have you seen Hugo?
-David hasn't seen him either.
-So I gathered.
-Maybe he didn't like us.
-David?
-Hugo.
-His car's still there.
-He's got a car?
-So what's wrong with that?
-What sort of car?
-Alex, how shouldI know? I'm just a girl.
-I will ask you once more, what sort of car --
-Hugo. Hugo. Sorry about this, but can you open the door? It's us, Hugo, your flatmates and companions. Your new-found friends. He's not in. He's left and we'll probably never see him again.
-Alex, the key is in the keyhole on the other side.
-So?
-Open it.
-You want me to kick it open?
-Yes.
-Now?
-Yes.
-I wonder how he did it?
-Did what?
-Alex.
-What? What's wrong?
-What are you doing?
-I'm just looking.
-Don't.
-Don't look?
-No.
-Why not? What's wrong, Juliet? Aren't you curious? Don't you wonder what he died from?
-No.The guy's dead.What more do you need?
-It's not every day I find a story in my own flat.
-Thats not a story, Alex. It's a corpse.
-No, Alex. It's, it's --
-What?
-Unfeasible.
-Who's going to do it?
-I thought we all were.
-I don't thinkI can.
-But you're a doctor. You kill people every day.
-I don't want to. It's different.
-Whoever draws the short straw does it all. That way, you either do it or you don't. All or nothing.
-OK.
-Be careful.
-Yeah, we don't want another stiff on our hands. Don't fall through the ceiling. OK? Is he listening to me?
-Stop nagging.
-Sshh.
-Love and happiness for ever.
-David, I promise we will. Keep him happy.
-Look over there. It's Cameron.
-Who?
-Cameron. You remember Cameron.
-No, I don't.
-What's he doing here?
-That's not him.
-Well, you certainly had a good look around.
-Hello. Hello.
-Who was it?
-Don't know. No one said anything. ALEX Rendered speechless with desire. I recall that feeling, from the days when I had such a thing.
-Are you all right?
-No.
-Will you calm down.
-Is this the same stuff you made last week?
-No, no, it's different.
-I hope it tastes better than the other stuff.
-It tastes different.
-You know, you should spend some of that money instead of worrying about it. That's my advice.
-Once it's spent you won't have to worry about it.
-Be like a weight off your shoulders.
-You know we're right.
-I don't see the point in that.
-Leave him alone.
-He can't stay up there.
-He'll come down. Leave him alone.
-Yeah, he's got to go to work, hasn't he? You think he'll come down for that?
-No, but he's looking after the money, so what's the problem?
-Boy, am I glad to see you.
-What are you doing here?
-We have to talk.
-Later. But first -- him.
-David?
-Exactly. Now I've been thinking --
-Oh, good.
-He won't do anything for me, but for you --
-Forget it.
-He isn't safe up there. If you really cared about him, you'd use your influence to get him down, then he'd be safe.
-And the money?
-We could put it somewhere.
-Where he can't get it?
-Now you thought of that, not me.
-Expecting anyone?
-No.
-Aren't you going to answer it?
-No, definitely not. And that's that. I refuse to discuss it further.
-It's the only way.
-I refuse.
-You're frightened.
-You'll wait in the hall?
-I'll wait there.
-And if it sounds like I'm being killed, you'll phone the police, you'll tell them everything?
-Everything.
-Everything. Except maybe that it was his idea and not mine in the first place. OK? That's important to me. I need to die misunderstood.
-Alex.
-What?
-Are you all right?
-I don't know. I thought maybe I was --
-Of course, but I think you'll find the print medium provides a more lucid and detailed --
-It makes us feel a whole lot better.
-It's about me and David.
-The perfect couple, I should say.
-You mustn't take it so badly.
-Don't worry about it. I'd do exactly the same, but I don't think I'm his type.
-Don't you ever stop?
-Stop him, Alex. You've got to stop him.
-Interesting.
-I see.
-So, uh...
-What?
-What?
-You were going to say something.
-It's OK. There's no problem.
-You mean I can have the room?
-Can you afford this place?
-Good evening. I'm Detective Inspector McCall and this is DC Mitchell. I wonder if we could ask you some questions.
-What about?
-It's about the burglary.
-Burglary?
-Downstairs.
-Of course.
-So I just heard her cries for help and all that, and when I went downstairs there were already those other people there, so I just stood around really, waiting -- you know how people do -- and then when your colleagues arrived I came back upstairs. And that's about all, I think. I didn't actually see anything useful, I don't think.
-did you hear anything before he cries?
-No, not that I recall, I was asleep.
-Have you seen anything or anyone suspicious around here in the last few days?
-No, nothing, sorry.
-Well, if you do, you'll let us know?
-Of course.
-And the other three people on the flat, did they hear anything?
-Two?
-Who said there were four?
-We understood there were four people living here. Not always, of course, but now, four.
-No, three. Who said there were four?
-How strange. And how unsatisfactory to have misleading information. Only three people here. You're sure?
-Yes, absolutely.
-I see.
-I doubt it. And these two other people, did they hear anything?
-No, they were asleep. They didn't even wake up.
-Yes. Why do you think you woke and they didn't?
-Loks like you had a break-in up here as well.
-Is this where no one stays?
-No, I've never seen them.
-You're sure of that.
-Yes.
-Why do you want a room here?
-Look, it's a fairly straightforward question. You're either divorced or you're not.
-It's just that you strike me as a man trapped in a crisis of emotional direction, afflicted by a realization that the partner of your dreams is, quite simply, just that.
-Just get on with it, Alex.
-Is this what they always look like?
-I've never seen a dead body before.
-Are you all right?
-Oh, yes, I'm fine, thanks, just fine.
-Would you like to talk about it?
-Do you know many of these people?
-Do you think you could be a little more forceful next time?
-I'm sorry.
-It's alright. I think he got the message anyway.
-Two hundred.
-Two hundred pounds?
-Two hundred pounds.
-You paid two hundred pounds for this?
-That's what it cost, David.
-Expecting anyone?
-What?
-Were you expecting anyone? Tonight?
-No.
-Visitors? Some friends maybe? Someone you talked to?
-No one. I promise.
-Who have you talked to?
-No one.
-I thought you'd gone to work.
-I'm sorry.
-We already know. All about it.
-So let's go.
-Yes.
-Eh, I don't know.
-Oh, don't be so coy, dear. You're going to Rio.
-What?
-But I bet you didn't say you were going to split on him.
-It wasn't like that.
-What do we do here, David?
-Sorry?
-Here.
-Right here?
-In this firm.
-Well, it's a wide range of, eh --
-Accounting, David, chartered accounting --
-Exactly what I was --
--- is often sneered at. Are you aware of that?
-Not any real sneering as such, no.
-There's a whole wide world out there, and it all needs to be accounted for, doesn't it?
-Eh --
-But they sneer, don't they?
-I'm not sure --
-Oh, it's unfashionable, I know, but, yes, we're methodical, yes, we're dilligent, yes, we're serious, and where's the crime in that, and why not shout it from the rooftops, yes, maybe sometimes we are a little bit boring, but by God, we get the job done.
-Yes, sir.
-And that's why I think you fit in here.
-I'm boring?
-You get the job done.
-Oh, I see, I thought you meant --
-Hello.
-What happened to that guy?
-What guy?
-What guy that died?
-That one, last week.
-Here?.
-Yeah, here, I mean, where else?
-Oh, him. Well, he died.
-You must be Hugo.
-You must be Juliet.
-Would you like to come in?
-It's nice.
-What do you do?
-Well, I've been away for a bit, travelling, that sort of thing, and now I'm trying to write a novel.
-What's it about?
-A priest who dies.
-I see.
-Yeah. Well, maybe I'll change it.
-No.
-Yes, I mean, who wants to read about another dead priest? It's about some other guy, some guy who's not a priest, who doesn't die. You see, it's better already.
-Writing seems easy.
-Do you think you could answer that?
-The telephone? It continues to ring.
-Yes, the telephone, but if it's for me, I'm not in. HUGO You're not in.
-No.
-It was some guy called Brian.
-Did he sound upset?
-A little bit. Is that good or bad?
-Shall I answer it?
-Working nights?
-I'm a doctor.
-And he's a patient of yours?
-No. But he needs treatment.
-For what?
-A certain weakness.
-The human condition.
-You know about it?
-I write about it?
-And that's not the same thing?
-October 15th, direct flight, London Heathrow to Rio de Janeiro, British Airways, you are looking at seven hundred and sixty-five pounds. Seven six five.
-That sounds fine.
-Air Portugal, on the other hand, via Lisbon, same day, five hundred and sixty-five. Five six five. It's up to you. Catering important?
-What?
-Air France. Glasgow. Direct, but then you're looking at the wrong end of nine hundred and twelve pounds. That's nine one two. It's up to you.
-Yes, the first one's fine. Heathrow direct.
-It's up to you. Air Patagonia. New outfit: via Caracas and Bogot . No catering. Four hundred and eleven pounds. Four one one. Good value, but refueling at Bogot is variable.
-The first one was fine.
-Take all the time you like, doctor.
-I'm sorry, I've never seen any of them.
-No. I haven't seen them.
-Do you think you have a good memory for faces?
-Same as everyone else.
-But in your work you must meet lots of different people, every day -- new people, new faces. No?
-Yes.
-And what do you recognize, names or faces?
-Diseases.
-Like recognizing criminals by their crimes.
-I suppose so.
-I mean, that's what it's like.
-Sorry?
-Both, sir.
-Offering it for debate.
-You can tell by the intonation.
-Your watch.
-Is it real?
-You're in a good mood today, George.
-Yeah, baby. Things are great. Listen, there's Devra, whatta you want?
-Chicken salad.
-Anyway, you remember Harold?
-Don't you think there's too much gold?
-It's great. You wanna speak to Mary? Hold on...
-I don't know, I think...
-Look, would you argue with your doctor?
-I thought you were in a good mood.
-I am... except I've gotta do somebody at their house.
-Don't you like her?
-No, it's a very groovy girl.
-Then what's the problem?
-She's a very groovy girl. That's the problem.
-What're you talking about, George?
-Do you think George is a fairy?
-Who?
-That kid... the hairdresser.
-Maybe he's just a kooky guy who likes doing something kooky like that.
-Maybe... why do you ask?
-I'm thinking of investing with him. He worries me.
-Why?
-Maybe he's too flighty and irresponsible. That's why I asked if he was a fairy.
-I don't know. He's a hairdresser.
-You suggested it, don't you think it's a good idea?
-Yes, but... I thought...
-What?
-That you were just indulging me.
-That's George.
--- yes, Senator -- just a minute, dear --
-That girl's making an awful spectacle of herself.
-What do you expect me to do about it?
-I just thought you'd like to know --
-Lester.
--- I hope you like Miss Shawn --
--- what, who? Oh she's very nice, yes -- I mean normally ---
--- cause she's going to be very, very expensive.
-We cannot go into this later.
-That's okay too.
--- is that right?
--- is that what this is all about?
-Yes and you don't have to be sarcastic about it, that's a beautiful thing he's doing -- some people do more than go to the beauty parlor and shop at Saks --
-Lester, you're a miserable man. You're not helping anybody. You're just twisting arms to raise money for a lot of silly son of a bitches that are out for themselves -- this is just business, don't kid yourself. And you know the worst thing about it, even if it does somebody some good somewhere which I can't possibly imagine, you'll never know the difference.
-What are you talking about?
-Whoever she is, she doesn't give up, does she?
-What're you looking for?
-My keys.
-I thought you said you weren't going anywhere.
-I'm not. I mean I've gotta see this friend of mine for a few minutes.
-Thanks a lot.
-Listen, baby, don't leave, really.
-Why not?
-I'll be right back, it's just that this girl is a different girl... she has attacks.
-What?
-She's got a...
-Does she have a pancreatic ulcer?
-Yeah, I think so.
-That's very serious. Who's her doctor?
-I don't know.
-Gee, that's very serious...
-I know.
-Ruth Lesserman had a pancreatic ulcer.
-She did?
-It turned out to be cancer.
-Wow.
-So what are you doing going over there? You're not her doctor.
-And listen, I'll be right back and I want your ass in that bed when I get back.
-You're very rude... if you don't come back --
-I'll be back in a while.
-I don't want to see you anymore.
-You're late, George.
-I gotta talk to you.
-I don't want to talk about it...
-But you don't know what happened.
-I don't care about that girl, I don't care if she's dead.
-Calm down, baby.
-I'm perfectly calm, George, I'm simply saying you have no respect for me, that you're incapable of distinguishing between me and one of your average Hollywood... mummers...
--- What?
-Nummers.
-What?
--- I like myself far too much, far too much.
-I don't want to place you in any position --
--- to be put in that kind of position...
-George --
-I'm not used to that kind of treatment.
-What kind of treatment?
-I've never been treated that way, and I'm not going to start now.
-I can see that.
-You're looking great, baby.
-What're you doing later?
-Whatever you say.
-I don't know. I'm beginning to feel guilty.
-What about?
-All I ever do is play. I should be doing something to get my own shop open.
-Why don't you see Lester?
-Your husband?
-Yes.
-What about?
-The shop. I think you're a good investment, and I don't mind telling him.
-Is she all right?
--- Anyway.
-I hope she's all right.
-She's fine. You really think I'd be a good investment?
-I wouldn't say so if I didn't.
-No, I know.
-And I certainly wouldn't tell Lester.
-I know.
-I mean it or I wouldn't say it.
-Hi.
-Comb my hair out later, honey.
-No, that's okay, I'll do It now.
-But aren't you...
-Why didn't you come alone? Lester invited you. Did you have to bring her?
-Well she...
-She what?
-She's a friend of Jill's.
-Sweetheart, it's a bore out there... let's lock the door.
-Holy Christ. You want to get us killed?
-Oh, no.
-... what?...
-That headboard.
-You going to answer it?
-Want me to?
-You're rude. I mean, you're very rude.
-Hey, I tried to get her off the phone.
-You know what I'm talking about.
-No, baby. Now look, that girl that called -- I have to talk to her, she'll do something.
-Like what?
-Well, is she your girlfriend?
-No.
-Are you in love with her?
-Her?
-Are you?
-No.
-Then it's not your problem.
-It isn't?
-No. You know too many sick ladies.
-I guess so.
-How do you expect to get anything done if you allow yourself to get sidetracked? Particularly in your business... you deal with women every day...
-I guess so.
-Don't worry, honey, I'll protect you.
-Okay.
-Shit.
-You here to see my mother?
-Yeah.
-She's out, but you're supposed to wait.
-Hungry?
-This is the one thing I like about this house... want some lox?
-No thanks.
-You're my mother's hairdresser?
-I do her hair, yeah.
-Chopped liver?
-No thanks.
-Are you gay?... baked apple?... they're cold but they're good.
-No thanks.
-Did you hear me?
-Yeah.
-Well, are you? Are you queer?
-... yeah.
-C'mon, are you or aren't you?
-C'mon, tell me. Don't be afraid.
-Why do you wanna know so bad?
-See if you've been making it with my mother.
-Nothing, I guess... have you ever made it with a guy?
-Have you ever made it with a girl?
-I asked you first.
-Well, are you?
-Am I what?
-I'd like to do your hair sometime.
-Why?
-... just, you could look very heavy...
-Don't make conversation with me.
-What?
-Yeah, it is.
-I never get my hair done.
-No kidding.
-In fact, I don't think I've ever been to a beauty parlor in my whole life.
-No shit.
-You think that's funny, don't you?
-Yeah.
-You live a phony cheap cop-out existence.
-Yeah...
-Beverly Hills hairdresser... what kind of a thing is that to do... you might as well be a faggot... think that's funny too?
-No.
-Then what do you think?
-That you're just like your mother.
-I am not like my mother!
-You are.
-I am not!
-I am not!
-Look... Do you wanna fuck me?
-Right now?
-Oh yes. Mrs. Shumann called about you.
-Right.
-How is she?
-Great.
-Wonderful woman.
-She is.
-I went to school with her husband.
-Great.
-So you want to go in business for yourself?
-Right.
-And you need money?
-Right, that's right.
-You do know what money's like these days.
-Jesus, look at this. Nine, nine and three quarters -- that's our prime rate. And I'll tell you something else: the big boys are going for it.
-They are?
-After all, Mr. Roundy, we're paying six percent. Six percent. FHA's at eight and a half -- no, we won't be going back to the old days.
-I guess not...
-What sort of references do you have?
-Well, I do Barbara Rush.
-Pardon me?
-Her hair, I do Barbara Rush.
-I've got the customers... that's my point. I'm the one they want. If I had my own shop, they'd leave and come to me. I have a lot of customers.
-George!
-Yeah.
-You're late, we're all backed up and you're supposed to go to Buffums.
-Buffums?
-Yes, Buffums.
-I've got heads here, Norman.
-You promised you'd do the show.
-Oh fuck, Norman!
-You're late, George.
-What!
-Somebody's going to have to wash Mrs. Young. Mary's not here.
-You do it.
-Look, Norman, I'm not the shampoo girl.
-So how's Norman?
-Jesus...
--- Listen, I'm supposed to take Jill to El Cholo tonight. She's really going to be pissed if I don't.
--- Maybe she'll come with us. If I tell her how important it is to me, I don't think she'll mind. Do you?
-I don't know. Probably not.
-Jill's really great, isn't she?
-How long you had this?
-Oh, about six weeks now... Lester -- well, he's very sweet.
-I'm sure.
-He's a very private person, actually.
--- Well no. It never came up.
-You going to tell him?
-Shut up, it's all right. Do you want a drink?
-No, thanks.
-Where do you want to do this?
-Probably the bathroom.
-Well, what do you think?
-I'd cut it...
-You would?
-Yeah, I think so...
-You don't seem very sure.
-Okay... but I want you to know one thing. I've got to look great tonight, I mean I have to look great, okay?
-Jill's coming with us.
-Great.
-She's incredible... She loves you, George.
-... I don't get it done often.
-Whew.
-What's wrong?
-It's hot in here.
-It's the sauna, I keep the sauna on and it makes the whole bathroom hot.
-Not too much, don't cut too much.
-Jackie, would you argue with your doctor.
-Bernstein... seemed to think I hated men.
-No.
-Why not?
-... he tried to... uh... make it with me.
-And?
-And what?
-It was after you, baby. After you.
-Boy, that sauna is really... can't you turn it down or something?
-Anyway, he offered me a silver cloud. At least he should give me a Ferrari and pay off my house and give me a nine carat ring or something...
-Did Lester know about him?
-George...
-I just have to do one little thing.
-If you screw me up for tonight, I'll kill you, I swear to God, I'll kill you.
-George... how about Felicia?
-What?
-Did you?
-Did I what?
-You know what I'm talking about.
-Hey, I don't tell.
-Can I count on that? I just want to see Lester with me and that cunt in the same room tonight.
-Yeah?
-Now, baby... if I told you about her... then you couldn't count on me not telling anymore... could you?
-Baby...
-You did, I know you did.
-One of my few virtues is discretion.
-George...
-Yeah, baby...
-No! Don't! Please!
-It'll ruin everything.
-I know... you don't know, I know.
-Sit down.
-What are you talking about?
-Look, either come in or stay out!
--- you'll be the prettiest thing in the room -- light's green...
--- oh yeah... what do you know about this guy?
--- what guy?
--- this guy with Jill.
-Jesus Christ, there's Norma Stern. Look at her hair.
-What about it?
-We're upstairs, George. Now come on. Behave yourself, and for Christ's sake, do me a favor. Don't let me drink too much.
-Don't do it.
-That son of a bitch, everything he says is a phony piece of shit, what does he think, I'm some cigar butt he's got between his teeth --
-He just completely ignores me. He could have at least said something, introduced me or something.
--- Just get me out of here, baby. I can't stand it. It's killing me.
--- we can't now.
--- don't you want to --
-Jackie, can we --
--- you are.
--- gee...
--- what?
-I don't know what gets into me.
-You were great.
-No, I blew it, I blew it with Lester.
-No you didn't.
-You don't think so? I do.
-You were great.
-That sounds like me.
-Where do you want to go?
-Sammy's?
-He still having parties?
-What are you looking at?
--- yeah.
--- look, you don't have to entertain me...
-Am I entertaining you?
-We're friends.
--- sure.
--- where'd you go?
--- oh I thought you were --
--- what?
--- very nice, very nice.
--- but you never were much of a tit man --
-Mmmm --
--- ass and legs --
-Look who's talking.
-Me?
--- yes, you --
-Well of course. Who loves a big fanny on a man?
-What's wrong?
--- we're kidding ourselves.
--- we are?
--- last night I dreamt I was fifty years old and Mary told me I was supposed to meet Jill at the shop. It seared me shitless.
-Why?
--- Jesus --
--- good afternoon --
-I've got to leave?
--- yes, honey, you've got to get out of here.
-Why?
-Where are you going?
-Please, we'll have to talk later --
-Look about last night --
-Forget about last night, it's okay, we'll talk when I get back --
-It's not okay, I mean we've got to talk now. Where are you going?
--- It's Malone's.
-You're going to kill me.
-No --
-Well then what are you trying to do-
-Jackie... Jackie?... answer me, for God's sake, answer me.
-If you knew how many times I wanted to hear you say that...
-So I'm saying it...
-It's too late...
-What's too late about it? Look, we're not dead, are we? That's the only thing that's too late.
-Lester's left Felicia. He's taking me to Acapulco on the five o'clock flight. He's asked me to marry him.
-So what? You don't love him, do you? Answer me.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-I don't know... Jackie?
-God, there's Lester...
-Don't go, Jackie...
-I can't just let him stand by the door...
-Don't leave me...
-I've got to... I've got to tell him where I am.
-What for?
-Do you know what that Lillian Bercovici just did?
-No, man.
--- Right after I sprayed her?
-What?
-I can't even stand to talk to her on the phone.
-Hey, what's happening? Mary! Telephone. What's the matter?
-Wanda...
-Oh yeah?
-You were supposed to handle that bitch, she's always asking for you, and she was furious you weren't here.
-Yeah?...
-She's murdered her hair... you do something with her, I'm never going to touch her again.
-I'm busy, man.
-If I have to touch her again, I'll throw up!
-Yeah!
-Wash her.
-What with?
--- You takin' a lot of shit lately, George.
--- Oh yeah.
--- White ladies?
-That boy always does great. He's a corporal or a squad leader or something, just wrote me from some place called Kwang Due?
-What's wrong, Mary, are you drunk? Look, I've had a rough night, one of the roughest I've ever had, now I'm not in the mood for any sulking bullshit, what's wrong? Are you sick? Are you drunk? Can you work?
-Otis is dead.
--- you shouldn't talk to me like that no matter what, George... you know better...
--- oh -- sweetheart...
--- you shouldn't do me like that...
--- please, please forgive me...
--- you know better...
--- why did you come in today?
--- left my bag, didn't have no money...
--- how did you get here?
--- took a bus.
-Jackie Shawn.
--- yeah, this is --
--- yes, George.
-I guess you haven't heard from her yet.
-Not yet.
-Nothing, my sister's back from Vegas.
-That's too bad.
-I have to see you.
-Hi, George.
-Hey, baby, what's happening?
-Nothing, I reconciled with Ron, you know, the guy I divorced last summer.
-Call me!
-I don't have your number, stop by the shop.
-There were some shots.
-What're you talking about?
-Gunshots, there were some gunshots.
-Where?
-Here in the canyon.
-Well, it's a big canyon. Honey, I'm sorry but I've gotta get back... just for a minute.
-Let me come, too. Please don't leave me alone.
-What's gonna happen?
-I don't know... every once in a while I just get the feeling something awful's going to happen.
-Well, like what?
-I've had these dumb dreams lately.
-What?
-They're dumb, somebody... I don't know...
-Who?
-I just... who what?
-I don't know. I can't remember. It was just in my dream.
-Nobody's gonna get you. Now get inside.
-George, I don't --
-George --
-Keep moving --
-Now, George --
-How are you, baby?
-Fine. How are you?
-Great, great, fantastic. Fantastic. Incredible. Incredible, really incredible.
-What?
-I'm gonna open the shop, baby, I'm gonna open the shop. I'm getting it together.
-How?
-When I was a little kid, I used to want to go to Europe but right now wherever I am I'm gonna be in Europe.
-Honey, what happened?
-I just came from a meeting... I can't talk about it now, baby. But in a few days -- see I'm disgusted with my life.
-I thought you said you were at the epitome of your life.
-I am, I am. But I've had it with chicks. They're like an occupational hazard. Six guys working for me... I'm gonna retire or settle down or something.
-What about me?
-You're different.
-I am?
-You're great.
-I am?
-Yeah.
-Do you really mean that?
-Honey?
-Yeah, baby.
-Will we live together?
-We live together now.
-But in the same house, you know, one house.
-Maybe you don't even like children.
-Of course I like children.
-You've never even been around one.
-I'm around you and I like you, don't I?
-Yeah.
-Okay... Night, baby.
-George?
-What!
-Not right now, I don't mean right now... but eventually...
-Okay, baby. Okay...
-George.
-Hey, baby, what's happening?
-They want me to go to Egypt for three weeks.
-Jill, say hello to Felicia.
-Yeah, baby...
-Great.
-Could I talk to you for a second?
-Hey, I'm, you know --
-Yeah.
-I said I wasn't sure if I could go.
-Go where?
-Egypt!
-Oh, great, listen, baby, I gotta get back, okay?
-Okay, but how did it go at the bank?
-George.
-Hey, baby, say hello to Felicia.
-I already said hello.
-Okay.
-George.
-Yeah, baby.
-When can I talk to you?
-Baby, I'm in the middle of work.
-I know but this is important. I have to make a decision.
-About what?
-Whether or not I'm going.
-Going where?
-Egypt.
-Honey, have they offered you the job?
-No, but I think they might.
-What do you want?
-Your advice!
-They didn't offer you the job yet.
-I want your feelings about it.
-Right now?
-Look, either we have a meaningful relationship or we don't, I've got to know.
-When?
-When I get off work.
-When is that?
-I'll call you.
-When is that, George?
-I'll call you.
-But I never know when you're working and when you're not working!
-Neither do I, baby.
-What?
-Nothing, I'll call you, okay?
-Jill says nothing.
-Where's your car?
-A friend dropped me off.
-Who?
-Never mind. Where've you been?
-What business meeting?
-Look at the way I live.
-I've been trying to reach you all afternoon. You weren't in the shop. What is this thing tonight?
-What do you mean, what is it? It's some political bullshit.
-I have to have Jackie ask me? Don't you think you could call me and let me know? Look at my hair.
-I know, honey.
-Maybe I should get a dog... no, it would just shit all over the house and I'd never clean it up.
-What does he direct besides traffic?
-Ha, ha.
-Television or movies?
-Now, Jackie --
-I've got to get her out of here.
--- go ahead.
--- well aren't you --
--- what? -- I'll see you later...
-I don't want to fight, George.
-I don't want to fight either. Look... uh -- I love you.
-Bullshit.
-How come you took your own car?
-I didn't want him meeting me here.
-Well that's something.
-What is.
-You did fuck him, didn't you?
-Didn't you, baby?
-Let go of me or I'll scream, I'll call the police.
-That was him.
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Well, did you get a job out of it at least?
--- and take this with you.
-Where did this come from?
-So who else was there besides Jackie? Huh?... huh?
-Baby, don't do this. I do love you.
-Obviously.
-How many?
-What do you wanna know for?
-I just want to know, that's all.
-What difference does it make?
-Baby, please don't... I love you.
-I don't want to be a fool!... I want to look them in the eye and say, I know!
-Baby, don't do this --
--- it'll help me if you'll tell me.
--- please, baby --
--- no, it'll help me, really --
-How?
-... well I'm glad you told me.
-What? What? What? What? What?
-... honest. At least you're honest with me.
-I wish you'd go now.
-That's all you've got to say?
--- yes.
--- tell me something -- did you talk about me?
-George...
-Did you?
-Please!... that's not like you.
-Yeah, I know. Did you?
-George, now cut this out.
-Did you?
-Stop it.
-Did you?
-Yes, yes, I did.
-What did you say?
-George, if you keep this up I'm going to scream.
-What did you say?
-George...
-What did you say?
-What're you here for?
--- A wash and set.
-No.
-No?
-You need a cut.
-But Mr. Norman said --
-Said what!
-I just needed a wash and set, a wash and set, that's all.
-Felicia says you're a very good hairdresser.
-Well, yeah.
-She says you're a fabulous hairdresser.
-Thank you.
-Oh, well, I went to beauty school... you know you go to beauty school... and you get your operator's license... and you graduate... and you're a hairdresser.
-It's an unusual trade.
-But the important thing is you're successful at it.
-In a way. But...
-But what?
-Well, George, I invest for a lot of people. I make a lot of money for them. More than they could do for themselves.
-It's good you want to do something, George.
-Thank you.
-But personal services are not the kind of thing I usually get into.
-They're not?
-No, they're a pain in the ass, there's no way of keeping track of anything. It's a cash business and you've got to watch your operators or they'll steal you blind, am I right or am I right?
-You're right.
-George, could you -- excuse us for a minute?
-Felicia's really interested in the shop, isn't she?
-Well, George, you may not think ten or fifteen grand means much to me, but I invest for myself and a lot of particular people.
-Oh yeah? I mean I know.
-When?
-Tonight?
--- maybe you could, on your way, you know, pick up Jackie here.
-I wish my son knew what he wanted to do.
-Oh yeah?
--- Anything, I don't care what it is, just so it's something.
-Sorry, honey, I...
-... she's very upset...
-What about, tonight?
-You look like you've had quite a work-out.
-It's nerve wracking sometimes... women can get you very upset.
-I know it, I know it.
-... this doing hair it's...
-George, I know you have to deal with Felicia and you're caught in the middle, and if you can just bear with me tonight, well, I appreciate the way you've handled the situation.
-Oh, hey...
-It's a difficult situation, and I want you to know I appreciate it. Tonight's going to be real tough for me --
-I don't know what to...
--- do me a favor, kind of keep your eye on Jackie, she's a little high strung tonight --
--- yeah?
-Well anyway...
-Well -- I could try. Do you wash your hair every day?
-Isn't that bad for it?
-This really ought to be layered...
-Layered?
-You live like a pig.
-Yeah. How long have you been here?
-All night.
-Well... who are those guys?
-What do they look like?...
-Look, Lester... are you unhappy with me about something?
-Yeah, I'm unhappy with you about something.
-Well, what?
-Godammit, George...
-Now wait a minute...
-Sit down.
-But...
-I wanna hear about it.
-I wanna hear about it, George.
-Hey, have 'em put me away, or whatever you're gonna do, okay?... I'm too tired to lie, I'm too tired to tell the truth... I'm too tired for anything.
-I wanna hear about it.
-What can I say!
-I wanna know your thinking, I wanna know how someone like you thinks. Did you think you could get away with it, did you think you could put something over on me? Does a guy like you get his kicks sneaking around behind people's backs and taking advantage of them? Maybe that's your idea of being anti Establishment!
-I'm not anti-Establishment.
-That's got nothing to do with it... You're so beyond my comprehension I can't even discuss it with you.
-Then don't... just have 'em beat me up or whatever you're gonna do.
-Was it me, did you have something against me?
-What, do you think I planned it?
-Did they have something against me?
-Didn't they tell you?
-I wanna hear it from you!
-... yes, I follow your thinking on that.
-We're always trying to fuck them... they know it and they like it and they don't like it... that's just how it is... look, it's got nothing to do with you, man. It just happened. Felicia's got nothing to do but shop and get her hair done and she knows she's getting older... her daughter hates her, what's she going to do, go to
-Do you think Lorna hates her? I don't think she hates her. I mean she may resent her a little...
-Oh, are you kidding, man? She hates her.
-Why, why do you think that is?
-Oh, fuck, Lester, how should I know?
-Want a drink?
-No thanks.
-Have a drink.
-You don't have a clean glass in the house.
-I know.
-Hell of a way to treat a business partner, that's all I can say.
-Who?
-Me!
-Hey, you were never going to give me the money.
-... You can lose it all; you can lose it all no matter who you are... I don't know, what's the point of having it all. Look at me. I don't have a goddam thing... the market's terrible right now, went down ten points last week, goddam Lyndon Johnson!
-Oh yeah...
-Yeah,, it goes up a little and then it goes down, maybe Nixon will do something. What's the difference, they're all a bunch of jerks. I wouldn't let 'em run my business, I can tell you that much. Not if I had any choice in the matter. I don't know what to do with you. I don't know, I don't know what's right or
-I don't either, Lester, I swear to you I don't.
-What about Jackie?
-What about her?
-I mean, how did that happen?
-Lester, it just happened.
-She's nothing but a whore.
-No --
-Just a whore, I go over there, have a few drinks and get my gun off. I'm through with her, she's nothing but a whore.
-You really think so?
-Yes I do.
-Oh, by the way, I think you oughta know -- Lorna thinks she's got the clap.
-What?
-What took you so long?
-Wasn't sure it was you.
-
-I... uh... I... uh... can't.
-All right, who're you with? Jill?
-No.
-
-No.
-Awww --
-I'll call you back.
-Come on by.
-I'll call you back...
-
-You're home.
-Yeah.
-I'm coming over.
-I'll call you back.
-No you won't.
-What do you mean?
-I told you I get 'scared up here, so if you're not coming right now... I'm not kidding.
-Okay.
-
-Well, commercials. I read for a soap the other day.
-A soap?
-A daytime soap opera.
-And?
-I was too old.
-What was it, somebody's daughter?
-Well maybe I can get you something.
-That's very sweet of you, Mr. Roth.
-Sid.
-Sid. You must be a very important executive.
-Well, whatever I am, I think I can get you whatever you'd like.
-You do?
-Yes.
-The man from Sloan's is coming. I called you about it.
-How did you lose that key? Oh, George, this is uh Miss -- this is Jackie.
-Oh, hi, I mean hello, we've met.
-Is that right?
-Well, yes, George is a wonderful hairdresser.
-I go to the blue'n gold barber shop in Westwood. The guy in the third chair's dynamite... nobody much.
-George is going to open a shop.
-I called to tell you I was sending one over but the line was busy, you're always on the phone.
-I am?
-Who were you talking to?
-Who do you think I was talking to?
-My secretary saw you with that boy.
-Steve?
-Steve Slutes, and he's not a boy. Steve couldn't get arrested as an actor. He couldn't get arrested as a boy.
-Then you were talking to him.
-I'm always on the phone because you never let me see anybody, I can't even bring my girlfriends over to the house because they might run into you. You're driving me up the wall, Lester. You're even jealous of the dogs. I mean I've gotta have somebody I can talk to.
-Now listen, Jackie, I'm not jealous of anybody, I just can't afford to get caught... off base.
-So I can't talk to some broken down actor, what do you think, I'm going to tell him I'm screwing Lester Karpf!
-Of course not.
-It's very logical, it's the most logical thing in the world. You wouldn't feel this confined if we could go out with people and have dinner, and a little conversation and so forth...
-You and your touchy investors.
-You're lying about one thing, Lester.
-What's that?
-Maybe he ought to go to beauty school. Anyway, see you tonight, doll, okay?
-Shut the door, shut the door!
-I'd like a drink.
-Just a second, I've gotta clean this mess up or the dogs'll have it all over the house.
-They get hair all over the place.
-Here.
-Aren't you going to have one?
-No.
-Why not?
-George, glad you could make it, son. Hi, doll.
-Lester, this is my friend Jill and this is Johnny Pope.
-Who are they?
-Jill Haynes, Jill Haynes, I've told you about Jill a hundred times, Lester, you never remember anything I say.
-Does she know about us?
-Jesus, she's my best friend.
-Who's the guy, George's boyfriend?
-I don't know. Why don't you ask him?
-Hi, doll, what's wrong?
-Jackie Shawn.
--- you phony asshole --
-Hi, Leonard.
-Jackie, what're you doing?
-Going for a pony ride at Kiddielands, want to come along?
-Poster-Kleiser.
-Oh yeah?
-That's right.
-I'll call you.
-Fine.
-See you later.
-I think you're crazy. Don't look over, it's Lenny Silverman.
-Who is that?
-I am? I mean why?
-Oh, honey, don't be totally naive.
-I'm not. Maybe I am.
-Well, he is.
-So what's your point?
-Jill, I'm just trying to be helpful.
-I know, I'm sorry.
-I spent three years with him. I just couldn't take it not knowing who was gonna pay the rent... his unemployment or mine. George was adorable but it drove me crackers. Now at least I'm comfortable. Lester does what he says he'll do. Maybe you're happy living like a gypsy. Are you?
-George is great but I know what you mean.
-Face it, you can go around with cute guys and get hung up on their sexy bodies and things like that but sooner or later you've got to find somebody. Face it, time isn't on your side.
-Jill, you're a real sweetie pie. You really are. You're sure you don't mind?
-Don't be silly.
-You're really a love -- you sure?
--- No. No really.
-Well, what is it, honey?
-Nothing.
-It must be something.
-Well, it's George.
-I thought you said things were great with George.
-Well they are. But we have problems. You say things are great with Lester. Is he going to marry you?
-We don't think marriage is important.
-But you have problems?
--- Yeah, honey...
-Five times a day?
--- I guess it's all got to do with this shop.
-Really, Jill, aren't you exaggerating just a little? Five times a day?
-Well, you know what I mean.
-After four years? No I don't... and I don't know too many girls who do.
-I'm exaggerating.
-How much?
-Jackie --
-What?
-Well... it's not so much the number of times he does it, it's... he does it for a long time.
-He does?
-Well yes -- you know that about George.
-It's been so long I don't how long?
-Quite a while... an hour, an hour and a half -- sometimes forty-five minutes -- that's quite a while, isn't It?
-I would say so, yes.
-Honey?
-What?
--- See, I just know that if I go to Egypt, well, things happen, I just don't know what'll happen to us, he just never seems to think ahead, does he?
--- When you say forty-five minutes or an hour, do you mean continuous time? Just continually, without stopping?
--- Well -- not going in and out, I don't mean just that. Why are you asking me? You went with George longer than I have.
--- I guess I just blocked it out, that's all.
-C'mon.
-Well, there was this one time --
--- Yesss?
--- I was in the kitchen doing the dishes and George was out in Long Beach doing a show...
--- uhh-huhh...
--- Well it was very hot so I'd left the door open and the water was running so I didn't hear him come down the stairs...
--- He came up behind me and I was wiping a dish and he just... lifted up my skirt, and, you know, right there...
-Didn't you have any panties on?
--- He reached up and tore them.
-What did you do?
-Well... I just kept wiping that dish. Maybe it doesn't sound very sexy but it was.
-No, it sounds very sexy -- did you just stay by the sink all that time?
-Egypt?
-That's right.
-But why Egypt?
-Go ahead, Jill, you can say it.
-Oh. thank you.
-Why don't you ask for another one?
-Are you kidding? His hair's probably the most nutritious thing in here. See, you've reduced me to eating weeds.
-... my friend doesn't like it here either.
-All right, forget this filth. Continue about your friend.
-Well he's not exactly a friend.
-Is he an enemy?
-Of course not... he's sort of a boyfriend.
--- sort of a boyfriend?
-Sort of.
-I see. You mean he just sort of fucks you.
-Johnny!
-I'm terribly sorry.
--- never mind.
-What does he do? Is he an actor?
--- no.
-Good for you.
--- oh, sure. A hairdresser. How... how do you a... meet a hairdresser?
-Getting your hair done... Would you like to go to a party?
-This other couple that we're here with, do you know them very well?
-Well... sure...
-George? Was he alone?
-I don't think so.
-That bastard.
--- Jackie really shouldn't drink --
-Well -- as I see it we've got two choices. We can hang around here and wait for the bomb to go off, or we can go to my party.
--- why?
-Oh, Johnny, Mr. Karpf needed a ride home and I said we'd take him. Do you mind?
--- so when are you going to Egypt?
-Now I didn't mean that, you rat.
-Two weeks from tomorrow.
-You're going?
-You're kidding.
-Those Arabs won't be when they start chasing you around the sand dunes.
-Johnny! Why didn't you tell me before?
-What's wrong?
-We can't really leave that poor man here alone.
--- still -- at least we should tell him we're going. C'mon.
--- what's the problem, honey?
--- his car. They have it blocked.
--- listen, I wonder if you kids could give me a ride? I'm kind of stranded here.
--- I'll get in the back --
--- oh no, honey, I'll do that...
--- there's not much room --
-What did you say your name was, sweetheart?
-Jill.
--- yes, Jill.
-Gee... that's wonderful, Jill.
-Thank you.
-You seem disappointed.
-No... how long did you say?
-Look, is there somewhere else you'd rather go? Maybe we can change our location.
-No, it's not that...
-Do you have children?
-No.
-Are you married?
-No.
-Do you have something against traveling?
-No!
-We'll let you know tomorrow.
-Please don't misunderstand... I'd really like to go.
-I think they're waiting for somebody to start dinner.
-Have they sat down?
-No of course not.
-Everything okay, son?
-Call me Les.
-Where to, Les?
-Well we'd love to, but we're going to another party.
-Dad?
-Yes?
-I'm hungry.
-I think that was farther west in the Sierras.
-There were a party of settlers in the covered wagon times. They got snowbound one winter in the mountains. They had to resort to cannabilism in order to stay alive.
-You mean they ate each other up?
-Can I go to my room and get my fire-engine?
-How's it going, Doc?
-Are you having a good time?
-Yes, Dad.
-Good. I want you to have a good time.
-I am, Dad. Dad?
-Yes.
-No. I'm just a little tired.
-Then why don't you go to sleep?
-I can't. I have too much to do.
-Dad?
-Yes?
-Yes I do. I love it. Don't you?
-I guess so.
-Dad?
-What?
-You wouldn't ever hurt Mummy and me, would you?
-Did your mother ever say that to you - that I would hurt you?
-No, Dad.
-Are you sure?
-I love you, Danny. I love you more than anything else in the whole world, and I'd never do anything to hurt you, never... You know that, don't you, huh?
-Yes, Dad.
-Now this is where we keep all of out meat. You got fifteen rib roasts - thirty ten pound bags of hamburgers. You got twelve- turkeys, two dozen pork roasts and twenty legs of lamb. Do you like lamb, Doc?
-You don't? Well what's your favorite food then?
-Do you like ice cream, Doc?
-Chocolate.
-Why don't you want to talk about it?
-I'm not supposed to.
-Who says you ain't supposed to?
-Tony.
-Who's Tony?
-Tony's the little boy who lives in my mouth.
-Yes.
-It's like I go to sleep, and he shows me things but when I wake up, I can't remember everything.
-Does your Mum and Dad know about Tony?
-Yes.
-I don't know.
-Maybe he showed me something.
-No, I'm scared of nothing here. It's just that you know some places are like people, some shine and some don't. I guess you could say the Overlook Hotel here has something about it that's like shining.
-Well, you know Doc, when something happens it can leave a trace of itself behind... say like is someone burns toast.
-Well, maybe things that happened... leave other kinds of traces behind.
-Not things that anyone can notice, but things that people who shine can see. Just like they can see things that haven't happened yet. Well, sometimes they can see things that happened a long time ago... I think a lot of things happened right here in this particular hotel - over the years, and not all of them was good.
-What about Room 237?
-Room 237?
-No I ain't.
-Mr. Halloran, what is in Room 237?
-Yeah.
-Do you really want to go and live in that hotel for the winter?
-Sure, Danny, it will be lots of fun.
-Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, there's hardly anybody to play with around here.
-Yeah, I guess so.
-We're just going to go into one of the other rooms for a few minutes and talk - then I'll come back and check on you, okay?
-We'll get something as soon as we get to the hotel, okay?
-Okay, Mom.
-Jack...
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-The loser has to keep American clean, how's that?
-All right.
-Okay Danny, you win. Let's take the rest of this walking, huh?
-Okay...oh!
-Give me your hand. Oh, isn't it beautiful.
-Oh what a Maze. Isn't it beautiful.
-It's so pretty.
-Yeah.
-I didn't think it was going to be this big, did you?
-Mom?
-Yes?
-Can I go to my room and get my fire-engine?
-Not right now, Daddy's asleep.
-I won't make any noise.
-Come on, Doc. He only went to bed a few hours ago. Can't you wait till later?
-Well all right. But really don't make a sound.
-Make sure you come right back, 'cause I'm going to make lunch soon. Okay?
-If Jack won't come with us, we'll just have to tell him that we are going by ourselves. That's all there is to it.
-Danny?
-Red Rum.
-Danny... what's the matter, hon?
-Red Rum.
-Danny. Danny, stop it. Danny!
-Mommy...
-Danny, come here!
-Mommy... Mommy...!
-Mommy!
-Now Danny, when you were brushing your teeth, do you remember if you smelled anything funny, or saw any bright flashing lights, or anything at all strange?
-No.
-Do you remember when you were brushing your teeth?
-What's the next thing you remember after you were brushing your teeth?
-Now Danny, can you remember what you were doing just before you started brushing your teeth?
-Talking to Tony.
-Is Tony one of your animals?
-Oh,
-if you were to open your mouth now, could I see Tony?
-No.
-Why not?
-Because he hides.
-Where does he go?
-To my stomach.
-Now I'm going to ask you to do me a favor, and stay quietly in bed for the rest of the day. Okay?
-Do I have to?
-Shall we go into the living room?
-Please...
-Mrs. Torrance, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm quite sure there is nothing physically wrong with Danny.
-But eh what was the matter with him?
-Have you been in Boulder long, Mrs. Torrance?
-Only about three months. Eh we're from Vermont. My husband was teaching school there.
-Tony.
-Did Tony's first appearance happen to coincide with your arrival here?
-What sort of injury did he have?
-How did he manage to do that?
-Oh I wouldn't think of it.
-Well how can I repay you?
-It's okay, really.
-Well I'm going to have some coffee. Would you like some?
-Sure.
-I'm afraid it's advocaat sir. It tends to stain.
-Advocaat is it?
-That doesn't matter, sir. You're the important one.
-Won't keep you a moment, sir.
-Grady?
-Yes, sir.
-Delbert Grady.
-haven't I seen you somewhere before?
-Ah ha, it's coming off now, sir.
-Eh... Mr. Grady... weren't you once the caretaker here?
-Yes, sir. I have a wife and eh two daughters, sir.
-And, er... where are they now?
-No.
-He is, Mr. Torrance.
-Who?
-A nigger.
-A nigger!
-How?
-Your son has a very great talent. I don't think you are aware how great it is, but he is attempting to use that very talent against your will.
-She eh... interferes.
-It's Grady, Mr. Torrance. Delbert Grady.
-No need to rub it in, Mr. Grady. I'll deal with that situation as soon as I get out of here.
-Just give me one more chance to prove it, Mr. Grady. That's all I ask.
-Your wife appears to be stronger than we imagined, Mr. Torrance. Somewhat more resourceful, she seems to have got the better of you.
-I fear that you will have to deal with this matter in the harshest possible way, Mr. Torrance. I fear that is the only thing to do.
-There's nothing I look forward to with the greater pleasure, Mr. Grady.
-Good evening. Forest Service.
-Hallo. My name's Dick Halloran. I'm the Head Chef up at the Overlook Hotel.
-Good evening, Mr. Halloran. What can I do for you?
-I'd be glad to do that, sir. Oh why don't you call me back in about eh twenty minutes?
-Thank you very much. I'll do that.
-Good evening. Forest Service.
-Oh Dick, come on over and say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Torrance.
-Sure.
-The Torrances are going to take care of the Overlook for us this winter.
-Dick, if you're ready to do it now, I think it would be a good idea if you could show Mrs. Torrance the kitchen, while I continue on with Jack.
-Dick, can we borrow Mrs. Torrance for a few minutes? We're on our way through to the basement - I promise we won't keep her very long.
-Glad to meet you, Winifred.
-Mrs. Torrance, your husband introduced you as Winifred. Now are you a Winnie or a Freddie?
-I'm a Wendy.
-Oh Wendy. That's nice. That's the prettiest.
-God. This is the kitchen, huh?
-Don't let it get you down Mrs. Torrance - it's big but it still ain't nothing but a kitchen... a lot of the stuff you'll never have to touch.
-I wouldn't know what to do with it if I did.
-Beg pardon?
-Doc. You called Danny 'Doc' twice just now.
-I did?
-Yeah. We call him Doc sometimes, you know, like in the Bugs Bunny cartoons. But how did you know that?
-No, we don't mind.
-Good.
-Bill, how do you do?
-Pleased to meet you.
-Eh - formerly a school-teacher.
-What line of work are you in now?
-I'm a writer um... Teaching has been more or less a way of making ends meet.
-Well this ought to be quite a change for you.
-What'll it be?
-How's my credit in this joint anyway?
-Your credit's fine, Mr. Torrance.
-Best goddamned bartender from Timbuctoo to Portland Maine - Portland Oregon for that matter.
-How are things going, Mr. Torrance?
-Things could be better, Lloyd. Things could be a whole lot better.
-Nothing that I can't handle though, Lloyd. Thanks.
-Hi Lloyd. I've been away. Now I'm back.
-It's good to see you.
-It's good to be back, Lloyd.
-No charge?
-I'm the kind of man likes to know who's buying their drinks, Lloyd.
-Hi, babe.
-Hi, hon. How's it going?
-Boy, we must be really high up. The air feels so different.
-Sure is.
-Perfect for a child.
-Good Morning, hon. Your breakfast is ready.
-What time is it?
-Eleven thirty - Jesus!
-I guess we've been staying up too late.
-I made 'em just the way you like 'em, sunny side up.
-It's really pretty outside. How about taking me for a walk after you've finished your breakfast?
-Any ideas yet?
-Well, something'll come. It's just a matter of settling back into the habit of writing every day.
-It's really nice up here, isn't it?
-I love it. I really do. I've never been this happy, or comfortable anywhere.
-What do you want me to do about it?
-I'm not being grouchy. I just want to finish my work.
-Okay. I understand. I'll come back later on with a couple of sandwiches for you and... maybe you'll let me read something then.
-and it will then take me time to get back to where I was, understand?
-Yes.
-or whether you don't hear me typing, whatever the fuck you hear me doing in here, when I am in here that means that I am working - that means don't come in. Now do you think you can handle that?
-Yes.
-I had... I had the most terrible nightmare I ever had. It's the most horrible dream I ever had.
-It's okay. It's okay, now. Really.
-No. It's the truth, really. I swear it. Danny told me. He went up into one of the bedrooms, the door was open, and he saw this crazy woman in the bath-tub. She tried to strangle him.
-Did you find anything?
-You went into the room Danny said - to 237?
-Yes, I did.
-And you didn't see anything at all?
-He's still asleep.
-Somebody did that to him.
-Get him out of here?
-Yes.
-You mean just leave the hotel?
-Shovellings out driveways, work in a car wash - any of that appeal to you?
-Jack...
-Jack!
-I...
-I can't really remember.
-I don't know.
-Well I... I think maybe he should be taken to a doctor.
-You think maybe he should be taken to a doctor?
-Yes...
-As soon as possible.
-Of course I am.
-Have you ever thought about my responsibilities?
-Oh Jack, what are you talking about?
-Stay away from me!
-Why?
-I just want to go back to my room.
-Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!
-Stay away from me,
-Wendy!
-Stay away...!
-Stay away from me!
-I'm not going to hurt you.
-Stay away from me! Please...
-Stop swinging the bat.
-Stay away from me.
-Put the bat down, Wendy.
-Stop it!
-Wendy give me the bat.
-Stay... stay away!
-Stay away from me.
-Give me the bat.
-Jack, stay away from me!
-Stop swinging the bat.
-Give me the bat.
-Wendy...
-Go away.
-Give me the bat.
-Go away.
-I'll bring back a doctor.
-Wendy...
-I'm gonna go now.
-Mr. Ullman?
-Yes?
-I'm Jack Torrance.
-Very nice to meet you.
-Have any trouble finding us?
-Oh, no problem at all. I made the trip in three and a half hours.
-JAck, just make yourself at home. Would you like some coffee?
-Well, if you are going to have some, I wouldn't mind. Thanks.
-Let's see, where were we? Yes. I was about to explain that eh... our season here runs from oh May 15th to October 30th and then we close down completely until the following May.
-Do you mind if I ask why you do that? It seems to me that the skiing up here would be fantastic.
-Only in a very general way.
-Well...
-...the winters can be fantastically cruel, and the basic idea is to...to cope with the very costly damage and depreciation which can occur. And this consists mainly of running the boiler, heating different parts of the hotel on a daily rotating basis, repairing damage as it occurs and doing repairs, so that the elements can't get a foothold.
-Physically, it's not a very demanding job. The only thing that can get a bit trying up here during the winter is eh... the tremendous sense of isolation.
-five months of peace is just what I want.
-That's very good Jack, because eh... for some people eh solitude and isolation...
-can of itself be a problem.
-Not for me.
-How about your wife and son? How do you think they'll take to it?
-They'll love it.
-been known to give a few people second thoughts about the job.
-I'm intrigued.
-I don't believe they did.
-The police eh... they thought that it was what the old-timers used to call cabin-fever, a kind of claustrophobic reaction which can occur when people are
-shut in together over long periods of time.
-Well, obviously some people can be
-put off by the idea of staying alone in a place where something like that actually happened.
-Good morning Jack. I hope you haven't been waiting too long.
-Good. Glad you made it before they shut down the kitchen. Is your family having a look around?
-No, my son's discovered the games room.
-Right there.
-I'd better collect my family first.
-Yes, very cosy for a family, and if you feel like spreading out you have the rest of the hotel to move around in.
-This is our Colorado Lounge.
-Yes, I believe they are based mainly on Navajo and Apache motifs.
-even before anybody knew what a jet set was. We've had four presidents who stayed here, lots of movie stars.
-Royalty?
-This is the staff wing of the hotel. None of the other bedrooms are heated during the winter.
-As a matter of fact we eh... brought a decorator in from Chicago just last year to refurbish this part of the hotel.
-Oh...well this is our gold ballroom.
-We can accommodate up to three hundred people here very comfortably.
-Thanks.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-It's amazing how much activity is going on today.
-By five o'clock tonight, you'll never know anybody was ever here.
-Just like a ghost ship, huh?
-Bill, I'd like you to meet Jack Torrance.
-Jack is going to take care of the Overlook for this winter. I would like you to take him around the place as soon as we are through.
-Fine.
-What time does the plane leave?
-Eight thirty.
-Bill, would you have the Torrances' things brought in their apartment.
-Holy-jumped-up-baldheaded-Jesus-CHRIST!
-If Father Lowe is an innocent little lamb, why hasn't he picked up the telephone and called Constable Haller to tell him Marty's sending poison-pen letters?
-I don't accept the idea that he knows who his letter writer is, Jane. Because I don't accept the idea that there was a big bad wolf who saw Marty in his wheelchair.
-Lowe's car-?
-Blue. This blue.
-Would you kids mind telling me how this guy Lowe became a werewolf to begin with?
-Can I tell you kids something?
-Sure, Uncle Al.
-The moon's not down yet...
-You always take his side because he's a cripple! Well, it's not my fault that he's a cripple!
-Come on, Jane- it was Brady's idea. I couldn't stop him.
-Did he really get his head cut off, Dad? That's what Brady said.
-What's the money for?
-A new pair of panty hose. Is it enough?
-I don't want your money. You're a booger.
-Mom was really mad at him this time, wasn't she?
-What do you expect, when he comes in smelling like a brewery and looking like an unmade bed?
-Yes. Go away.
-Marty? You okay? You've just been sitting here all morning.
-Where's Mom?
-Went shopping. Why?
-Jane... you don't have to do that.
-Don't tell me what I have to do and what I don't, booger-brains.
-Please, Uncle Al.
-Don't you touch me, snotbrains!
-Are you all right, Marty?
-All except my legs... I don't think I can walk.
-You booger.
-Not bad, huh? My Uncle Al took off the regular muffler and put on a Cherry Bomb.
-What's that?
-Glasspack. He said he'd come over sometime this summer and we'd soup up the engine... but now I dunno. He's getting a divorce and he's in the doghouse with my mother.
-For getting a divorce?
-I used to see her every day, and she never knew what was going to happen to her, and neither did I! I mean I know how stupid that sounds, but...
-There's something else scary.
-I've been hearing noises in there.
-What kind of noises?
-Rattling. Rustling.
-Rats...
-Well, it's probably nothing. I'm just spooked since... you know.
-Yeah... but if you hear any more noises, tell your father. Okay?
-Ralph Houk! You can't bet a manager! Stone the crows!
-Okay, okay. Dwight Evans.
-Mom-!
-You all right, Marty?
-Yeah.
-There's a saying- so-and-so was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. You ever hear that one?
-No.
-Well, I'm not sure that was. Christ! They better get the guy.
-Uncle Al, what if it's not a guy?
-Huh?
-What's going on at Owen's, Uncle Al?
-It isn't enough that the monster killed all those people- that he killed Brady. Now he's got them to cancel the fair.
-Yeah, okay, the fireworks. Jane thinks that's all I'm mad about, but it's not. Them doing that is just a... a...
-It's just an outward symbol of everything that's inwardly wrong in this town. Not bad, huh? I read Sherwood Anderson in college. I can jive that shit all day.
-Well... I like it that you always know how to say things, Uncle Al.
-I'll give you the telephone numbers of my ex-wives, dear boy- they'll be interested to hear that.
-Don't call me dear boy.
-Your mom's not around, is she?
-She and dad are out back lighting the barbecue. Jane's walking around like she's King Shit of Turd Mountain. Like always.
-Yeah, Winesburg, Ohio, was never like that... but I got something that just might cheer you up.
-What?
-You got a pilot's license, Marty?
-Do I need one?
-You gave me a heart attack, Marty. I'm dying. I hope you're happy, because you are looking at a dying man.
-It really goes fast. Thanks, Uncle Al.
-It goes fast, all right- and if your mother finds out just how fast, Marty, I will have a new job. Singing soprano with the Vienna Boys' Choir.
-I don't get you.
-I know you don't. But I want this to be our secret. You get that, don't you?
-Sure.
-Now I said I had something for you, as I believe you will recall.
-Stay near the house, for Christ's sake- someone's killing people. I have to be out of my mind to be doing this, you know.
-Yeah, I know. It's great!
-One of the reasons I love you, Marty, is that you're almost as crazy as I am. Please don't set off anything that goes bang tonight, okay? Just bright colors. Can you tell the difference?
-Yeah... sure.
-What is it?
-A tracer. You'll like it.
-Thanks a million, Uncle Al!
-It came for me! I shot it in the eye! Now he's wearing an eye-patch!
-I called Peltzer on my way over here, Marty! Father Lowe came into the drugstore two days ago for a bottle of otic solution. That's a fancy way of saying eyewash. He's got a corneal inflammation.
-Was it a prescription?
-What the hell does that matter?
-It wasn't- I'll bet you it wasn't. Because to get a prescription he'd have to see a doctor.
-Marty, Marty, you should hear yourself!
-Well... was it a prescription?
-I don't know. But I know you didn't see any werewolf the other night, Marty. You had a dream, that's all. An extremely realistic nightmare brought on by what's been happening in this town.
-What about the baseball bat Jane saw in his shed? You know who used to have a baseball bat like that? Mr. Knopfler! He was so proud of it he used to carry it in the Fourth of July parade! Jane said it looked like the Green Giant used it for a toothpick!
-You want to know what I think?
-No- we just got you out here so we could admire your pretty face.
-I'll bet you a quarter that eyewash stuff was nonprescription. And I'll bet you another quarter he hasn't said anything to Mr. Haller.
-Do you really think that a man who took a rocket in the eye three nights ago could be out mowing his lawn? He'd either be in the hospital... or dead.
-I didn't shoot him when he was a man. I shot him when he was-
-Well... it's a lot easier to swallow without the hair and the foaming jaws. Also, I checked on the otic solution. It was counter brand. No prescription needed.
-I told you!
-After Marty called me with his latest Thrilling Tale of Wonder, I did. He's had no poison-pen complaints lodged at all.
-No... but I found some blood, smeared on a tree trunk in that grove.
-There! You see!
-It could have been anything, Marty.
-What about Father Lowe chasing me in his car and trying to run me down? You don't think that was a dream, do you?
-Mr. Haller said he'd check him out, and guess what? No one sees him again!
-I want you to turn this into a silver bullet.
-You're not going to let it go, are you?
-I saw what I saw.
-No one knows how cancer begins, either- or exactly what it is- but people still believe in it.
-The kid is eleven years old and already he sounds like a Jesuit. A French Jesuit.
-I think he's going to come for me. Not just because I know who he is, but because I hurt him. Only I don't think he'll try again as Lowe.
-Dear boy, you have gone right out of your mind.
-Yeah? Really?
-I suppose so. You kids ought to go up to bed.
-But Uncle Al! You said-
-What if I say no?
-I come here because Marty needs a friend.
-So have I, actually... I wish it could always be like this.
-Remember, Al... we'll be at the Ritz-Carlton in Boston tomorrow night! Or at the funeral parlor. It's Stickney and-
-And don't open the door for any trick or treaters even if they come!
-You kids go to bed on time! You've got school tomorrow!
-If you keep doing that, you're going to bump your head, sissy. Give my love to Mama- tell her I'll see her Thursday.
-Reverend Mother, I just wanted to congratulate you.
-Oh?
-I haven't enjoyed Mass this much in years. What a marvelous program. Innovative. Inspiring. You are to be commended.
-I can't wait until next Sunday, when the choir performs again. Did you see the people walk right in from the street? That music, that heavenly music -- it called to them.
-Perhaps.
-I must tell the Cardinal. I.11 send him a personal letter, describing your efforts, your bold new fight to keep your little convent alive.
-Really.
-Yeah. Sister Mary Pat was discussing it. You know she thinks it's a sin.
-Yeah. We all got caught. Shoplifting. Cuttin' school. Cuttin' up some bitch with a blade. So we gotta come here. So we'll be good, in the future. So we'll learn valuable lessons. And I learned mine. I will be incredibly good, I will never rip out nobody's nose-ring by accident ever again. Can I go now?
-Okay, so maybe I'm a nun -- so, you want to ask me something? You want to listen, for once in your little lives? You want to pay some attention?
-What about crack? You a user?
-LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED
-What you say?
-But how?
-BY A VOICE YOU HEAR FROM ON HIGH
-I think I hear it!
-LET THY THOUGHTS BE GUIDED
-You know, I just might!
-LET THY SPIRIT
-You know what we're saying!
-LET THY SPIRIT
-He's... dreamy. He's...
-Yes, Mary?
-SING!
-Were you tempted?
-But I'm fearful!
-SING!
-And I'm tearful!
-SING!
-So, hi there. I'm... Sister Mary Clarence. And you're... young Christians. I guess I should assign you this passage. What's good? What were you talking about?
-How come? Sister?
-Excuse me -- just what are you all doing here? At Sunday School?
-'Cause we love it so damn much. And cause we gotta come here. Probation.
-Well, what about the sex stuff? What if some dude is after you, and he's always saying stuff, commin' on sweet and mellow. Like, oh, baby, you know you'll love it. Oh, baby, if you loved me, you'd stay.
-And you listen to that?
-No, but... I don't know... sometimes.
-Hey, I know, it's hard. But do what I do.
-What you do?
-How are you doing.
-Hey, Sisters. Are you going in there?
-What do you want? This is a private area! Get lost!
-You ain't got nothin' I ain't seen.
-His ashes?
-Yeah, right to the cops. No way.
-Mary Robert, don't panic. Remember what we talked about? Experience?
-What?
-Okay, Christy -- strip.
-What?
-Come on -- stay. Just a little. We can talk, I'll get a pizza. Pizza in bed, we'll have fun. And you still haven't told me what happened. What did she say?
-What did who say?
-You are so damn sexy.
-Vince...
-How did I get so lucky? What is it now, five years we've been together? Who do I thank?
-I want us to be together. Like people. Honest, decent people. In the eyes of God. Babe, today... I went to confession.
-For the first time in I don't know how long. I wanted everything done right. Open and above board. I told Father Antonelli I was in love. I told him it was a special love, for all the ages.
-You said that? And what did he say? Did he say you could leave her? Did he say we'd be happy?
-What?
-You want me to go against a priest? Get excommunicated? You think I'm nuts?
-You bastard!
-We can still see each other. Just like always. It's a different kind of sin. Smaller.
-Babe, it's not me! I love you! It's God!
-No... it's fine.
-Yes?
-Thanks. A lot.
-Is that why you came up here, Christy? To thank me?
-Sure.
-And to say you're sorry. About this afternoon. And the things you said. Forgotten. Completely. Do you understand? Forgotten.
-Babe, what happened here? Look at you.
-Good evening, Vincent.
-What, Vincent? This is me, doll. I know you. What did you think you were doing? Running to the cops. Hiding out. No, no. You're sorry now, aren't you?
-She's afraid. Come on, tell the boys you're afraid.
-Right here. Let the others go -- they have nothing to do with this.
-I was good to you! You re nothing but no-talent garbage! You're a two-bit Tramp!
-Oh, girls.
-Yes, Betty?
-This prom is a real drag.
-Oh-huh.
-Oh my!
-What is it, Betty?
-Look at that. Get a gander.
-Oh my!
-He's so dreamy. He's like... a Greek god. He's the cutest guy here. He's boss. He's fab. He's...
-Yes, Betty?
-HE'S SO FINE.
-D00-LANG, DOO-LANG, D00-LANG.
-Isn't it a glorious morning? Good morning, Mary Clarence. sleep well?
-Where did that come from?
-1961? '62? Mary Clarence, that's when many of us took final vows. It's the last secular music we recall.
-The minute I saw you. I said to myself, she's a weaver. Have you ever used a loom?
-Not in years.
-Well, it all comes back, in just a jiffy. I'm working on a wall-hanging, of the convent.
-Why?
-To sell, of course. I hate to say it, but we're in terrible trouble here at St. Katherine's. We need a new roof, the furnace is going, and there's no money.
-Mary Clarence. Goose. We're completely self-supporting. Like all convents. Like yours.
-Oh, right. At my old place, we used to... wash cars. Groom dogs. So... nice loom.
-Isn't it lovely? Now I'll demonstrate, and then you can hop right in. You just draw your beater in, keep it pressed against the pick, and open the shed. Then pass your shuttle, beat, and open the next shed. Shuttle. beat, beat, shuttle, beat, shed. Keep tension on the warp. Is that clear?
-Just about. Show me again.
-Shuttle, beat, shed. And watch your heddles.
-Is this... choir practice?
-Hold on.
-You see? We've got the voices. They're just allover the place. I've heard all of you, in the shower --you're decent. Better than me. We just need charts -- harmony -- chops.
-Chops?
-Two days. An hour or so.
-That machine.
-I know. It's ancient.
-Mary Patrick -- do you remember the Dixie Cups?
-The Dixie Cups? Oh my. I was just a girl. Of course. SPRING IS HERE THE SUN WILL SHINE
-Hold it. Mary Patrick, you're a pretty cheerful person, aren't you?
-All right, I am, I know it! All my life, I've just been... upbeat. Optimistic. Perky. I can't help it. Even when I was little, I remember my mother used to say, "That child is pure sunshine. She'll either be a nun -- or a stewardess."
-SPRING IS HERE THE SUN WILL SHINE I'LL BE HIS AND HE'LL BE MINE WE'LL LOVE UNTIL THE END OF TIME AND WE'LL NEVER BE LONELY ANYMORE
-We know you don't want to bring pain and misery to your friends and neighbors. We'll pray to find you some honest work.
-What is it, Mary?
-Jackpot! Two buckets
-Hurry, Sister!
-MY SOUL WAS IN DANGER I'D FALLEN FROM GRACE
-It's true -- I know her.
-DAMNATION WAS ALL I COULD SEE
-What a shame!
-BUT THEN CAME AN ANGEL WHO WHISPERED THESE WORDS
-Pay attention...
-SING AND THE DEVIL WILL FLEE!
-Which convent? It was, um, the Little Sisters... of the Moonlight. In Vegas. Everybody used to come to Mass. Frank. Dean. Sammy. Right at ringside.
-What?
-Progressive convents. Vanity. It sounds awful. It sounds just like this place.
-Like this place?
-Shirelles.
-Soprano or alto?
-Mary Clarence, are you with us?
-Sure. Kind of... free-lance.
-Free-lance? Oh really? You think I don't see? You think I took vows yesterday? I know what you're up to. You and Reverend Mother.
-What?
-Very nice. Sisters, have we learned our lesson? I won't hold this little episode against anyone. I'll try not to.
-Yeah, for one second. That was the blend -- you've got to listen to each other. Be a group.
-I knew that.
-Of course. I'm a nun. Four Popes now. The Lord hates a loafer.
-I don't know. Mary Lazarus, what do you think? They're pretty raw.
-Wet behind the ears.
-It'll be hell.
-Don't look at your feet, and I don't want to see anybody counting. Make it look easy. Again!
-Right, right, cross with the left, spin and turn!
-Hopeless I
-Amateurs 2
-Babies
-She's a pro.
-Is there any syrup?
-We could cut a demo. Look for a label.
-Van Cartier.
-Hey -- you re supposed to be the cheerful one. Why do I suddenly feel like Snow White?
-JUST SING!
-Come on, we're late.
-What? What time is it?
-It's after five. We have to bathe.
-What? What does she want now? I did the dishes. I oiled the pews. I dusted the hymnals. Two hundred hymnals. Why can't people share?
-What?
-I... I brought you something.
-A cigarette?
-Thanks. So which one are you? Sister Bruce? Sister Doug?
-Mary Robert. I'm... Mary Robert.
-So, Bob, how long have you been in? St. K's?
-Three years. Sister.
-Three years. A rookie.
-A novice.
-You have to help me
-Right, sure, but what's the problem? Are they keeping you a prisoner here? Do they drug you? Did Reverend Mother like, kidnap your parents? We can call the Enquirer.
-No, you don't understand -- I don't want to get out! I want to get in?
-Excuse me?
-Oh. Mary Clarence, I'm so unworthy. I want to take my final vows, I would do it tomorrow, but Reverend Mother won't let me!
-She won't? Why not?
-She says I should wait. She says that no one should become a nun as an escape from life. She says that I'm not experienced enough to make the decision yet. In a mature manner.
-Well, then there's only one thing to do.
-What?
-We must do this sacred thing, Mary Robert.
-Of course! We must do it! It's the will of God! What is it?
-We must... get you some experience. We must... leave this place.
-Mary Clarence!
-We need experience.
-Bobs
-Experience! Right?
-I have to do this. So I can become a nun.
-Initiation. You understand. Later on, we make her wear her underwear on her head.
-Who are all these people?
-I'm getting experience.
-Those people are wonderful! Why don't we ever see them in church?
-Good point. Especially that dude you were with. I'd like to see him down front.
-Mary Clarence! You're so... different from the other sisters. Sometimes, well... sometimes you sound more like a layperson.
-I can't wait to tell Reverend Mother about all my experiences. I've learned so much.
-Mary Clarence!
-Goddamn it!
-Oh my Lord!
-What was all that? Who was that man? Why would he shoot at us?
-I don't know, some people just don't like nuns. I wish I had a ruler.
-Mary Robert, I am so sorry about last night...
-What?
-Mary Robert, I've watched you. You never really sing. You whisper. Nothing comes out.
-I don't want to mess anyone up...
-WE'RE THE SISTERS OF THE SACRED HEART WE DO OUR BIT, NOW DO YOUR PART
-Yes, prayer is the answer, and prayers free We're going to give free prayers to everyone who drives up to this house.
-It's contraband. Don't ask. But I wanted to give you a treat. A sort of... thank-you gift.
-Are you leaving us?
-The Council of Cardinals! I'm so nervous! What if I forget the words?
-Wait, this isn't the way. Who are you?
-Run! Take off!
-But what do they want? Where are we going?
-Mary Clarence!
-I WAS DOWNHEARTED
-It's true!
-I WAS HELL-BOUND, YES THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY SATAN WAS WAITING
-Don't you know it!
-BUT THE LORD CAME TO ME
-What did He say?
-A convent? They put me in a convent? What's the problem? Wasn't there any more room in Hell?
-What is your full name? Your Christian name?
-Mother Theresa. Gandhi. Don't you understand? This is all a mistake. I'm the good guy. I'm the witness. And I'm being punished!
-Your name?
-Christy. Christy Van Cartier.
-Enough joking.
-That's my real name! Currently I'm a singer. Sort of.
-Very well.
-St. Anne's?
-Parochial school. Akron. St. Android's.
-You were unhappy?
-I was expelled! When I was fifteen?
-The reason?
-Beats me! What do you think? Smoking! Heavy petting, without a chaperone. Heavy petting, with the chaperone. And wearing a black bra, under my uniform. The demon bra.
-I see.
-You see? You see? I have to get out of here I have to make a phone call. Don't you get it? I'm in a convent! You're a nun!
-Sit down.
-Miss Van Cartier.
-What?
-It has come to pass.
-What?
-I joined this convent some thirty years ago. At that time, the world knew some measure of peace. And hope. Our order was a beacon of hospitality, to families, to children, to a neighborhood filled with promise. And, as the years have passed, I have watched that promise destroyed. Drugs. Gangs. Spandex. And. so I have made this convent an oasis, a retreat from
-Are you talking about me?
-And all those like you.
-You mean black people?
-Absolutely not. I mean the wicked. The heedless. And their Las Vegas concubines.
-What's a concubine?
-Fine. Got it. Look, the way I see it, I'm stuck here, right? I mean, I'm here or I'm target practice. So here's the deal -- I don't bug you, you don't bug me. I'll catch up on some sleep, watch some tube, lay back and lay low. So just get me a key and show me to my room, and do not disturb.
-Cool. Is there a menu? Or buffet?
-Before we do, you might like to freshen up. And you'll certainly want to change
-How about a robe? One of those big terry cloth jobs, with like embroidery on the pocket. "Guest of St. Katherine's"
-Excused. Open the cabinet to your left. You will find appropriate attire.
-No! No! I can't do this!
-Normally dressed, you are a sore thumb, and you endanger us all. While you are here, you will conduct yourself as a nun. Only I shall know who, and what, you truly are. You will not disrupt the convent. You will not influence the Sisters with your colorful street talk. You will draw no attention to yourself in any way.
-But look at rites Look at this! I'm a nun! I'm invisible! I'm a penguin!
-As of now, and until you leave, you are Sister Mary Clarence.
-The Mary is in deference to the Holy Mother, the Clarence in honor of Saint Clarence Loyola. There are three vows that every nun must accept. The vow of poverty...
-No problem.
-The vow of obedience.
-And the vow of chastity.
-Sisters, for the rest of the day we shall declare a Vow of Silence.
-A what?
-Surely you are familiar with this practice, Mary Clarence. Only when our lips are silent, can our prayers truly be heard.
-Silence? No talking? All day?
-As a new member of our order, I think you might also enjoy a ritual fast.
-A what?
-A fast. To remind us of the poor, of those who must endure without enough to eat.
-No food?
-Is this all the food I get?
-Yes. Until breakfast.
-This shall be your cell, Mary Clarence.
-My what?
-You were right the first time. Is this like, solitary? The cooler? Where's the furniture?
-Our lives are simple. We have little need for material possessions.
-Right, sure thing. But what about, like, appliances? Like a little color portable? Boom box?
-Useless distractions.
-It's like the Stone Age. The room time forgot. What about a phone?
-And whom would you call?
-Oh, I don't know... Satan?
-Your cell is more than adequate.
-Right. So what do we do now? Ping- Pong? Row over to the monastery?
-It is nine p.m. Pleasant dreams.
-Wait. No. You're kidding. Lights out? At nine? My day's just starting.
-I'm sure. If I were you, I would use this time, to think about my life. And its direction. Or lack thereof.
-What's wrong with my life?
-Yeah?
-Girls, this is Sister Mary Clarence. She'll be minding you until Sister Mary Patrick's return. Mary Clarence, please assign a biblical passage. Do not attempt discussion. Am I understood?
-I got it.
-Deal with it, sweet thing. It's important, nowadays. You just practice at home, with a balloon and a banana.
-A balloon and a banana! Tell me, Mary Clarence, what were you thinking?
-Those girls were asking questions. They've got it rough. I wish somebody had talked to me about that stuff when was their age. I wish somebody would talk to me about it now.
-This is a convent, not a clinic. We offer moral guidance, not hardware.
-Have you been out in those streets? Do you know what those kids are up against? You should help them!
-Sometimes it's not enough!
-You are correct. Sometimes prayer alone cannot help a situation. Such as your own, for example. How do you feel about physical labor?
-It never solves anything.
-Do your recall the words of Saint Peter, in Ecciesiastes 1:27? He spoke unto a wastrel youth. He said, "Take up thy task, and know ye the path of contentment."
-In English?
-Really catching on.
-I'm sorry, I'm not a weaver!
-Months of work, and the loom, absolutely ruined!
-So... hi there.
-I don't believe we have anything to say to each other.
-Mary Robert's life was in danger! Your behavior was inexcusable!
-I know! I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to happen! And I was the one they were shooting at!
-Mary Clarence, I have given you every opportunity. To change. To make a decent life for yourself.
-A decent life? Excuse me? As what? A janitor?
-Clearly, you have learned nothing. And you present an ongoing threat, both to this convent and to yourself.
-Mary Clarence, perhaps you are correct.
-I am?
-You may stay. But I shall restrict your activities to but a single task.
-What?
-You will sing, and you will sleep,' that is your schedule until you depart. As almost no one attends Mass, you will be unable to cause further damage.
-No. No.
-You're my Olympic event.
-Not the choir, please, anything but that. The choir -- I mean, have you heard them? I'll do anything, scrub floors, toilets, you name it, but not that I
-I was thinking Las Vegas. Get some butts in those seats.
-And what next? Popcorn? Curtain calls? This is not a theater. or a casino.
-Exactly. People like going to theaters and casinos. But they think church is for Grandma -- we could change that. Pack the joint.
-Through blasphemy? You have corrupted the entire choir!
-Hold on. That's not fair. I worked hard with them. They gave up their free time, and they loved it. Those women are happy. And we can get even better. We can wake this place up.
-Out of the question.
-Please let me try. I'm begging you.
-And on such an occasion, I feel a completely traditional program will be best.
-What do you mean?
-Isn't that why we were asked to sing for those Cardinals?
-I believe this can be settled by a simple vote.
-A vote?
-But... wait a minute...
-You sent for me?
-Hey -- your prayers have been answered. I'm leaving. In just a couple of days.
-Really. Well, that makes two of us.
-What?
-I have submitted my resignation to Bishop O'Hara. Privately. I have asked to be relocated as soon as possible.
-But -- why?
-I must go where I can be of use.
-But -- there's so much more to do right here. And look, if it's about me, I mean, I'm gone.
-Indeed. After how long? A few weeks? I have been here thirty years. And yet, it would seem, I know nothing.
-But everything that's happening is good! You can be a part of it!
-You and I know that life is not so simple. There will be disappointments. Rude shocks. And you will have vanished. How... fortunate.
-Okay, so I just got things started. But you could build on that. You could keep it going.
-I am sorry, Mary Clarence. I seem to have misplaced my tambourine. Good day, Mary Clarence.
-But...
-What are you doing here?
-Reverend Mother -- Thank-you.
-Oh?
-You saved my life.
-Then I guess you're stuck. Life sentence. No parole.
-I don't think so. What about skydiving? A crank call to Billy Graham?
-You have evidenced great maturity, Mary Robert. We shall have a serious discussion.
-What about me, Reverend Mother? I think you were right. I'm just a bad influence. Sister show biz.
-Perhaps not. Perhaps we can all use... a little Spandex.
-Really? And maybe shorter habits, and women priests, and sleeping late?
-From Vince? What a guy. Doo-lang, doo- lang.
-At least he's not a cop. At least he can afford a decent gift.
-I used to buy.you,..stuff. On your birthday . When we were seeing each other.
-Yeah, like what? Quilted coat hangers, that your mother picked out? Lottery tickets? A travel iron?
-So I don't shop.
-'Cause you're always out, arresting people. Making trouble. I don't know why I went out with you in the first place, it was embarrassing! I couldn't hold my head up, I used to tell people you were a security guard!
-He's a businessman.
-A what? When are you qonna wake up?
-When are you gonna get off my case? Have you got a search warrant? What do you want -- cheap thrills?
-Information, baby. I thought maybe somebody around here might have a conscience.
-Right between the eyes! Down and out! The guy was gone! I... I couldn't believe it!
-You couldn't believe it? Vince the Prince?
-I don't know anything about bodies! I mean, he didn't bring it home. He was good to me... sometimes. He was sweet. He took care of me. Who am I supposed to go out with? He owns a casino. He let me sing.
-He didn't do you a favor.
-And if I don't?
-Ten flights?
-You'd lose. You'd die. All over the sidewalk. And into the street.
-All right! I get the picture! I'll do it! I'll testify!
-Okay, here's what I want. I know about this stuff. A five-star hotel. With room service.
-Jesus, what do you think this is -- Wheel of Fortune? Let me spell it out for you. You have to hide like you don't even exist. You have to get so far hidden away that you never see sunlight.
-Okay -- no limo.
-No nothing.
-What're you gonna do, put me in a bag and bury me?
-I hate you. I totally hate you.
-Nuns, Eddie. There are nuns here. Everywhere. It's crawling with 'em.
-It's a convent. All you have to do is shut up, behave yourself, and get along.
-And one bullet. That's all it's gonna take.
-But Vince has contacts all over the place! This is San Francisco! They'll be looking for me!
-Everywhere but this little hole-in-the- wall convent. Nobody knows you're here but me. We're trying to get a quick court date. A month, maybe two, tops. I'll spring you as soon as I can.
-I can't stay here! I'll crack up! Eddie, what am I gonna do?
-Eddie, you've got to get me out of here.
-Not again. You can't keep calling. Somebody's going to catch on to where you are.
-But I'm going insane! All these people do is pray and work, work and pray! I don't get it -- when's the weekend? They have gruel, Eddie, that's what they call food! Gruel -- it's like Alpo for nuns! I sleep in a cell, on a board, and I pray five times a days Do you know what I pray for, Eddie, do you
-Calm down. Look, I didn't want to tell you this, but we've had some problems with our protection program lately.
-Like what?
-Keeping our witnesses alive. We hide them, but there's a leak in the department, and they end up dead.
-I just need a few more weeks,
-Do you hear that? That choir? Eddie, in here, that's what they call music!
-What'd she say?
-You blew it -- big time. She doesn't want you back.
-Does she know people are trying to kill me out there?
-She's counting on it. She's concerned for your safety, but she wants me to try and find another convent that will take you. Or a carnival.
-So what am I supposed to do in the meantime?
-Eddie! You scared the hell out of me!
-What if I was Vince? You'd be dead right now. What are you doing giving interviews on TV?
-It wasn't my fault! They just showed up. It's helping the convent.
-You're supposed to be hiding out!
-I really can't talk about it now. The place is packed. SRO. I've got a show to do.
-Listen to yourself. This isn't a career opportunity.
-I know that. This isn't about me. It's about the choir. You should hear them. They're good. Really good. And I taught them.
-Jesus, look at you You're glowing.
-I am?
-Yeah. You look... great. I mean it..
-Really? Lieutenant?
-You mean -- worried about my testimony?
-Well.. thanks. I've been thinking about you.. - sometimes. I mean, there aren't a lot of guys around here. I mean, sometimes I feel like... a nun.
-Me too.
-You're not... seeing anybody?
-No. Most of the time I'm thinking about you. And now... you've really changed.
-I have?
-I've got to go.
-Just remember - you're a target. Don't you think Vince has a T.V.?
-Vince knows you're here.
-How?
-I can't go with you.
-What?
-I've got a show -- at St. Matthew's Cathedral. We're singing for the Cardinals.
-Eddie -- I've got to go back. They won't sing without me. I'm deserting them.
-I think they'd understand.
-They need you? A bunch of nuns? For what? Moral guidance? Make-up tips?
-You don't get it! It's a big thing for them, it's like... Caesar's Palace. Prime-time. They're singing for the Cardinals. It's like... "Star Search." If first prize was a trip to the Vatican. They've worked really hard, they deserve this.
-What're you doing?
-Don't you have a concert to go to?
-Yeah, Eddie, thanks a whole bunch. Thanks for sticking me in a convent. So you think, after all this, maybe I really am a nun?
-I don't know. There's only one way to be absolutely sure.
-Hey, girls.
-Hail, Mary.
-Jerusalem is a real drag. Everybody hates me.
-Oh-huh.
-People throw stones. They call me names. I mean, really.
-Really.
-We could put you into our witness protection program.
-Then one day they find you.
-Jesus. Data-base hoods. It's a wonderful world. Beloved daughter missing. Reward of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Please find our adored angel, we miss her so. Dead or alive.
-Vince is getting desperate. Where is she, Eddie? Where'd you stash her?
-Where's who?
-You won't even tell us?
-We're looking for Mike.
-I'm sorry -- I don't know what gets into him.
-Who are you guys?
-But you didn't tell me!
-We didn't tell you what?
-A nun?
-Vince -- is she... okay?
-And if she runs?
-He's so damn cocky. This is different.
-It's a bluff, Vince.
-It's done?
-Not... totally.
-But, Vince, how do you know she didn't like, join up and become a nun when she was in that convent?
-I can't believe this. Okay, I want both you guys to go back there, and both of you shoot her at the same time.
-Well?
-It didn't work, Vince.
-Right.
-I'm telling you, she's not a nun! Get her out of the nun outfit, and put her in some clothes.
-Get her!
-There she is!
-I can't see anything in here!
-Joey?
-But, boss -- she's still, you know, a nun.
-So that guy in the bar was right? She's like... some kind of nun?
-She's gettin' away!
-She was real quiet and peaceful all the way back in the car.
-You didn't shoot!
-Neither did you!
-I figured if you were gonna, then I wouldn't have to.
-Strip down a nun? You want us to fry?
-A sweater.
-What's she doing?
-Are you going to shoot us all, tough guy?
-It should be here any minute.
-We sound terrible We need Mary Clarence.
-Look what she did with the choir. She made us sing beautifully.
-We've got to save her!
-Yes, Mary Patrick?
-Sister Mary Patrick?
-Yes?
-Mary Clarence -- how is your weaving progressing?
-Bless her! There are so many problems in this neighborhood that we could help solve. That's why many of us became nuns. It's marvelous, Reverend Mother.
-She shouldn't have come back. She knew she was in danger.
-She told us about one. The Little Sisters of the Moonlight. In Las Vegas.
-Peace on Earth.
-However, we can also pray for other things.
-Is this like your old convent?
-Mary Clarence has a background in music. That's what Reverend Mother said.
-We did it! We actually sang a chord!
-He's not like other guys.
-He's decent.
-I'd rather sing than do anything!
-It's better than ice cream.
-But, Reverend Mother -- everyone loves our new style.
-Ice cream!
-Mary Clarence, don't be silly. You're an example to us all. You've taught us so much. We're singing for the Cardinals, and then -- who knows? Maybe the choir can travel -- to schools, and nursing homes.
-Mary Clarence! Sister!
-We can't sing without her! What should we do?
-You mean -- they kidnapped her?
-An... entertainer?
-Well, I don't care who she is. We can't sing without her!
-It's so beautiful...
-The Little Sisters of the Moonlight!
-Excuse me -- has anyone seen a nun?
-Mary Clarence -- you're alive!
-Not a note.
-I don't understand. Where is she?
-Calm down. Think clearly. Mary Robert, do you have any idea who those men were?
-She said they were from her old convent.
-Las Vegas -- she's here somewhere.
-Reverend Mother?
-Yes?
-Absolutely not. I am very sorry, but no.
-But she's been exposed to the underside of life. She is the underside of life.
-And therefore an ideal prospect for rehabilitation.
-We're a small convent, Bishop. Surely there are... more appropriate shelters.
-Your small convent is in danger of closing, Reverend Mother. The Las Vegas Police Department has offered to make a generous financial donation.
-But, Bishop...
-St. Katherine's is a Benedictine Order. You have taken a Vow of Hospitality. To all in need.
-I lied.
-But, Bishop, surely you realize -- this is a most dangerous neighborhood.
-I mean, won't she talk? She seemed kind of upset.
-Soon, you gorgeous thing... tell me... how lonely?
-It's that call you were expecting, Vince.
-She's a nun, Vince.
-And who are you to talk? You were nothing. You couldn't even sing. I must have been out of my mind.
-She's... she's a nun.
-We both missed.
-Where?
-If we could speak alone.
-Excuse me, gentlemen, but... who has seen this Horseman?
-Many have.
-Who took the meat?
-Must have been the Redman. A Lenape Indian lives in the Western Woods.
-Hail, Constable. How are you?
-Um... I... I did not... no. Why?
-Clergyman Steenwyck is calling a meeting. This time he is determined to have you forced out, or worse.
-How did you hear this?
-Certainly not.
-We haven't heard your name yet, friend.
-What the hell are you doing?
-You are the blacksmith. Ever shod a horse with a hoof this large?
-They spend two days in chains.
-Constable Crane is not the only one who fights with science on his side.
-I fired upon the Horseman and the bullet did nothing.
-You must have missed your mark.
-I hit him square.
-An honor, gentlemen. In time I will need every detail of the three murderings you've had, but, for now, I ask only if you have any theory at all as to who the killer might be?
-Excuse me?
-I say, is there any one person suspect in these acts?
-Why did you move the body, Doctor?
-No bleeding.
-What is that?
-We must be a curious sight to him.
-What are you spying on?
-He is a behemoth.
-The wounds are the same. Cauterized. No chopping or half-measures either. One stroke took the head. Have you seen, doctor... ? Even the spinal bone... sliced as smooth as butter.
-I do not care. You are welcome to use my work area, but I beg you... return her to her resting place.
-Keep still, Constable. You were half-drowned when they found you.
-... Brom Bones...
-He is dead. You would be also, if your wound had not somehow shut.
-Bring Young Masbath here.
-You need to sleep.
-Bring him.
-It has been a terrible jolt to her nerves.
-... help yourself, you pompous ass. I will be in bed.
-Stains of blood.
-No clotting or gathering of pus. No healing at all.
-What?
-Why not tell us what you have heard? Hmm? How much have your superiors bothered to tell you?
-All I know is three are slain, their heads found severed from their bodies...
-It is sacrilege!
-I will not allow it. I will not!
-Protest to my superiors if you like.
-Your superiors are two days away!
-For poaching. Or, would you remake our laws now that Magistrate Philipse has given up the ghost?
-Only if I repeat them outside this room. And, I will if I must... Out there, for all to hear. Or... you may speak, as planned. But, you tell them you feel compelled to move on to greener pastures.
-No. You will not run me out. No one will believe a word of what you say.
-Oh? Far as I can tell, a rumor does not travel alone for long here.
-Are you a deist? Is that it? A free thinker who does not believe in divinity.
-It is only important what you are. An adulterer...
-I am the Lord's voice in this town.
-Wallowing in sin and lust...
-They need guidance.
-Wallowing quite literally in blood.
-Damn you, sir! God damn you to hell!
-You are so upset now... and yet, you seemed in such good spirits last night.
-You cannot do this. I am a man of God!
-Taken. Taken by the Headless Horseman. Taken back to hell.
-Just a moment... Are you saying it is he?
-Do you have these persons' wills?
-I have everything... last testaments... birth certificates, death certificates... deeds.
-May I see them, Master Hardenbrook?
-Hmm? See them?
-May we look at them now?
-Maybe you should take this.
-Damn... damn... damn...
-Perhaps, I could assist in finding them?
-Just a moment... if I may. It is possible this man was murdered.
-He drowned. Anyone could see.
-He will be burned pursuant to statutes of health.
-I could determine if he were dead <u>before</u> he went into the Hudson.
-Our first night watch is adequate against fire and some violence, but if we were more often able to ensure justice, after the fact, then criminals would truly have something to fear from law enforcement.
-Have they nothing to fear presently?
-Without disrespect, look around you. We overflow. As do our courts.
-And, <u>with</u> disrespect, Constable, if jails and courts overflow, it is testimony to success, not failure.
-Very few, if any.
-Even though I have seen confessions pried from the lips of the accused, often quite literally?
-For one who calls himself a Federalist, your mouth reeks of Republican liberalism.
-There is a farming community upstate, Constable... ten days journey north in the Hudson Highlands. It is named Sleepy Hollow. Within a fortnight, three persons have been murdered there. Each with their head lopped cleanly off. The elders of the Hollow have sent dispatches to me, requesting assistance, and now, just this very moment, I have chosen you.
-Chosen me?
-These "methods" of yours... there has been no practical application.
-Not for lack of trying.
-Just so. Granted. And so you take your experimentations to Sleepy Hollow and catch the murderer who has tainted the place. Bring him here to face our good justice. Will you do this for me?
-I shall, gladly.
-Master Crane, sir. I'm glad we have time alone. You've been told plenty about the Horseman, I'm certain.
-More than enough, actually. I beg you, no more, please.
-Tell me something. What becomes of Young Masbath?
-The Widow Windsor.
-Is that all you say? Look at her.
-Well, Constable... are you aware... to be honest, you are not what we expected. We sent for the militia.
-The Van Garretts died first; a man and his son, survived by a wife and two infants. And the Widow Windsor was next...
-And now Jonathan Masbath.
-Why would he flee this direction, with so much open ground to cross before he reached cover?
-... found the body this morning. You do believe now, don't you?
-What is that you wear?
-My talisman. It will, protect against the Horseman if I show a brave face. But, I cannot run. If I run in fear, it is worthless.
-Not more than a year ago, a mob hung a man for stealing a horse. For stealing a horse! And, you dig up our dead.
-We are farmers here, not lawyers or bankers, or even constables. Every penny we earn comes from what we send down the Hudson.
-Listen to what you say....
-No, you listen! You may think we are a pack of superstitious dullards...
-I am not here for revenge. I am here to bring justice.
-Whatever. You still need a second to tend to your things.
-I manage fine alone.
-I deserve to help you. Don't you see how much this means? My father... he... he was a good man...
-Young Masbath, I am sorry for your loss. It is a great and sad tragedy. However... I cannot be the one to look after you now.
-What is the common thread between these victims?
-I'm sure I don't know.
-The Lenape Indian had much to tell once I opened his mouth.
-How could he?
-Where are we going?
-What is it?
-Out there. What do you see?
-The Western Woods.
-Are you familiar with magnets?
-What kind of nuts?
-It's spectacular.
-Yes... I suppose it is. Keep it.
-No, I couldn't...
-Thank you.
-If the Western Woods are truly the Devil's Glen, we will see for ourselves.
-Father said witches live there.
-What is it?
-Listen.
-I hear nothing.
-We are leaving.
-Follow the Indian trail to where the sun dies. To the tree of the dead. Maybe we passed it by.
-We should not go much further in this murk.
-Should we go back?
-What does it mean... climb down to the Horseman's soulless place?
-If the Crone's wound bled hard, that means she was not killed by the Hessian. Someone only tried to make it look that way.
-You grow sharper by the minute, little man. It boggles my mind, but I begin to prefer your company over all others.
-Well... I'm one of the few people who likes you.
-True enough.
-Then, who murdered the Old Crone? And why?
-What is it?
-Must be some sort of gateway. But, why this place... ?
-We should go.
-Someone left last night. Looked like they headed to the square, but I lost them in the forest.
-Man or woman?
-All I saw was their lantern.
-If someone has the Horseman's skull... if they control the Horseman, then why haven't they sent him for your head yet?
-What good is this?
-My father had farm land. It was the only thing we owned of any value.
-And it now belongs to you, according to Baltus. I heard him say it.
-Only the heirs were killed. Proof that the Horseman slaughters by assignment.
-But, if the farm is not mine, who stole it away?
-No one yet, far as I can tell. It has gone intestate.
-In test... what?
-Intestate. Your farm... all the farms... they belong to no one.
-Often in such cases, property which has gone intestate legally passes to whomever the deceased was indebted to. And, who in this town is owed a great many debts?
-Baltus Van Tassel.
-Did your father take a loan?
-There is no Masbath here. My father's loan papers are missing.
-I was getting worried. Who was it?
-Lady Van Tassel.
-What was she doing?
-Something I really wish I had not seen. Never mind it. Did you find the victims' loan agreements?
-There are no other doors. This is as far as she could have gone.
-It is nothing. She comes to read books, so her father will not find her. It is absolutely nothing.
-What books?
-Fiction plays and novels. Baltus does not approve. Now, come. It may not be long before Lady Van Tassel returns.
-What now? Where is she?
-She's the one who controlled the Horseman, isn't she, sir? Sir?
-Won't you change your mind, sir? What can I say to convince you?
-Why... why are you like this?
-This is farewell.
-Take me with you. There's nothing left for me here.
-Climb up!
-Lady Van Tassel...
-What can we do?
-What now?
-How are you?
-Forgive me, I didn't know.
-Did they tell? It is something in the air so that dreams come to everyone. According to the elders, an Indian prophet held powwows here before the land was taken, and spells cast then still linger to this day.
-Do you often make a habit of sitting on strange men's beds?
-You are horribly old-fashioned, aren't you?
-Feel free to form your own opinion. Though it appears you already have.
-Well, I intended to apologize for the behavior of my friend Brom Van Brunt, but it seems I've made matters worse. I'll leave you to your business.
-Excuse me... I should apologize. I, um... I... have no great love of...
-Other people?
-Small talk.
-Is it me, or are you this nervous around all women?
-Perhaps it is because your suitor's hands were recently very nearly wrapped around my throat.
-My suitor?
-The massive fellow... Brom. For someone you call "friend," he misplaces a good portion of jealousy.
-He has proposed to me twice.
-I've read a great deal about your New York City. Do be a dear and tell me all about it. Sounds like an extraordinary place to live a life.
-Not all think it is the Horseman. Many say witches come from the Western Woods to steal skulls for their cauldrons. Some believe a person in this very town kneels before Lucifer, offering death as tribute. And, still others believe none of it.
-Are you so superstitious?
-To call a person superstitious is to imply they fear magic, but not all magic is black.
-There is no such thing as magic.
-Really? Then... what is your rebuttal to those romantic poets claiming proof of magic in a rose at full bloom, or even in a teardrop?
-Poets have silly notions about plants and bodily secretions.
-You do not disturb me. Please stay. Having trouble sleeping?
-May I ask... why do you cover your book that way?
-You pay great attention to small things. I hide these as I hide all my books. Father would not approve, lest it were the Bible.
-These scars. How did you get them?
-I have had them since childhood. I cannot remember what from.
-Here it is. A bird on one side. His cage on the other. Now, stare at it. The bird seems to be in his cage.
-He only appears to be inside the cage. The point being...
-You made this, and the drawings?
-Yes, but listen. The illusion is easily explained. The eye retains each image, till they combine. And yet, some would call this toy magic.
-Oh, you are hopeless. May I keep it at least?
-If you want. But...
-Thank you. No. Here...
-I insist that you have it.
-Very well. But, it will only sit gathering dust.
-You promised justice.
-If these are the random stalkings of a monster, what good am I?
-People have put their trust in you.
-They have done nothing of the sort.
-Why would you do such a thing?
-No stone may be left unturned. It may appear harsh...
-I have misjudged you I think. I did not imagine you were so cruel.
-You are not regarding it in full. The Widow Windsor had been run through by a sword. I followed the bloodless wound, a wound whose path I could not comprehend till I had seen the Horseman with my own eyes.
-What are you on about?
-The child she carried was eight months grown at least... near to birthing. The sword had pierced its tiny heart exactly.
-Must I hear this?
-There was no blind stabbing. This singular thrust found its target omnipotently, as if the Horseman made certain the unborn child died with its mother.
-And this gives worth to butchery?
-It was not butchery.
-What is it then? Scientific method? How can any of this matter in the slightest?
-I have no solution for its meaning yet, but I could not just ignore it.
-Take a lesson from Young Masbath's desires, Ichabod Crane. He follows with you to avenge his father's death. That I understand. But, what do you want?
-To avenge his father, and the others.
-You falter with your answer because you strive without putting the whole of your heart into it. Can't you see? You'll bring dignity to the dead even if you have to chop them into little pieces to do it.
-Allow me some time. I have spent every hour in the company of others. I need to be alone.
-The things I said to you before... I was wrong to say them.
-No, actually, you were not. Every word you spoke had truth in it.
-Lady Van Tassel... she is your stepmother, isn't she? She bears so little resemblance.
-What?
-She is not your birth mother, is she?
-No, but... why do you ask that?
-What happened to your mother? Is she still alive?
-She died. Her lungs were diseased... two years ago. What is this about?
-Memories have come back. I had them forgotten, and wish I could forget them again... but they are here now. Lord, how I hate this place.
-If you want me to go, I will. Do you want me to leave?
-It is only me.
-Katrina. Why do you follow?
-I apologize if I worried you.
-A woman should not be out alone in these woods.
-Blood.
-What are you doing?
-My God... what has happened?
-Why is it every grave I open holds a new mystery inside?
-The skull is gone.
-What... what are you doing... ?
-What is so urgent?
-I have been reading your journal. I'm sorry. I found it too fascinating to resist. I rode to catch up with you at the Notary, out of curiosity. Before I found you though, I overheard what you were said.
-It was you there?
-When... when you spoke father's name along with accusations, I could not believe it. I had to hide these... at least till I could confront him myself.
-And, what did he say?
-He did not do these things. If you knew him, you would realize...
-What did he say, Katrina?
-I have not been able to face him yet.
-The loans give the land to your father. It does not matter survivors are still on their farms. They could be thrown off... tomorrow... a year from now.
-Yes, I have seen that, and I told you why I hid them.
-What would you have me believe?
-If you think I am behind this, say it.
-The name Van Tassel is blackened. You share that name.
-Katrina...
-Where are we going?
-The church.
-What was that?
-Ichabod...
-Quickly, close it.
-The blades will carry us to the ground. Face front and wait for me.
-I... I can't do this.
-You said yourself. What mere man could have downed the Belltower?
-Returning to the Western Woods?
-Yes, actually.
-Use caution.
-Do you know... I think those are the first words I have heard from you my entire time here.
-Excuse me, Lady Van Tassel... Katrina is not in her room.
-No. She has gone out.
-Where?
-She has taken the last of our grain to be milled. You do have a background in the medical arts, don't you, Constable?
-It appears well. It has already clotted.
-Look closer. Do you have anything to clean it with?
-I know you saw me.
-You cannot kill what is already dead.
-Let her go!
-Van Ripper. Can you show where the body lay?
-Here... in front of this oak, facing north. Horrible...
-There was not much blood, was there?
-Van Ripper, turn the coach about!
-What did you say?
-Van Ripper... do you have a gun?
-Pardon. You did not answer when I knocked. Are we intruding?
-You are from the Hollow?
-The Lenape who lived in these woods... do you know him? The Redman? I should tell you... he has been murdered.
-I hear him. He rides to the Hollow and back.
-The Horseman. Yes.
-Can you help?
-What... what are you doing?
-Lay still, Ichabod. Do not move.
-You... you are alive.
-He rides tonight.
-Father saw you die.
-Imagine my surprise, finding him on a liason with a common servant. A girl who had apparently become his secret love.
-No one will believe your lies, whore.
-Go home.
-May I see my mother?
-You do not want to be here. Go home to your father.
-She did not do it... please listen...
-She is guilty.
-No, sir, please... she is innocent...
-She has confessed.
-No.
-All right then, I'll see y'all later. Karl you done a good day's work. They right about you. Scooter, he's gonna knock you out of a job if you're not careful. I'll see you tomorrow.
-Wait up, I'll leave with you and lock up.
-Scooter, did I tell about the two old boys pissin' off the bridge?
-I can't remember.
-There was these two old boys hung their peckers off of a bridge to piss, one old boy from California and one old boy from Arkansas. Old boy from California says, "Boy this water's cold." Old boy from Arkansas says "Yeah, and it's deep too." Get it? That's a goodun.
-Yeah, that's a goodun. I believe you did tell me that one before. I've heard that a bunch. Long time ago.
-I can go. You don't have to. You don't never go.
-Thank ye.
-They say you're a whiz on fixin' lawn mowers and things.
-I've tinkered around on 'em a little bit.
-We order from Dairy Queen at noontime usually. We can buy your lunch till you get on your feet a little.
-I like them french-fried potaters.
-I don't reckon.
-Yeah, they's good all right.
-You got any money?
-They give me fifty dollars when they turned me loose. I spent up some of it on ridin' the bus and eatin' french-fried potaters.
-Well, I'm gonna pay you today for this comin' week, so you'll have some walkin' around money. When you get off this evenin' you better go buy some toothpaste and cleanin' up supplies to have back there. Some hard candy and some magazines. Somethin' to keep you busy at night.
-All right then.
-Now, Karl, you sure you want to go stay with these folks? You're welcome to keep on stayin here. It's workin' out real good.
-That boy wants me to.
-All right then. I'll see you bright and early. How you comin' along on that garden tiller?
-I fixed it. Hit's a workin' pretty good.
-Hit ain't got no gas in it.
-Thank ye.
-Hey Jerry, how it's goin'. Good to see you. Been a long time.
-Good to see you, Bill. How's everybody doin'?
-Aw, pretty good. Kids are drivin' me crazy and Phyliss is gonna put me in the poorhouse. Can't complain other than that. Wouldn't do any good if I did. Do you know Scooter, Jerry?
-No, don't guess I do. Scooter, good to meet you. This is him, the one I talked to you about on the phone. Now like I said, I'll understand if you get nervous about it. I'm not gonna lie to you now, he did get in that trouble but then he was real young.
-Don't look much like he could. You say he can fix a small engine like nobody's bidness.
-He's a regular whiz at it. That's all he did when he was a kid.
-That old man of his still livin' over there on Clark Street I believe.
-He won't have anything to do with him. Now you say it's all right for him to stay out here in the back?
-He won't steal. I'm tellin' you he's a pretty good ol' boy. Keeps to himself.
-Well, I've got a roomful of work for him to do. Can't get Scooter to do any of it.
-Karl, come over here. I want you to meet your new boss. This is Bill Cox, runs this place. Says you can work here and stay in the back.
-How 'bout you, Jerry.
-How are you, Bill?
-Doin' pretty good. Got a sick tiller here. What's got you down this way?
-Just thought I'd check on Karl and see if everything's working out.
-Well, he's pretty quiet. Except for them rackets and breathin' things he does. Ain't threatened me with a killin' or anything. But boy you couldn't of been more right about him fixin' things. That son of a bitch is a regular Eli Whitney on a lawnmower. Loves french fries. Eats four larges and don't even so much as belch. I'm proud to have him.
-Is him stayin' here workin' out?
-He's gone to stayin' over with that Wheatley boy and his mama in their garage. I think that little boy adopted him damn near like a mascot. But he's got a key here to come and go as he pleases. Everything's worked out good.
-Can I see him?
-I'll see you, Bill.
-Can I help you?
-I was kindly wantin' somethin' or 'nother d'eat.
-Well, what did you want?
-You have any biscuits for sale?
-Did you decide, sir?
-What you got that's good to eat?
-Well, I guess it's all good.
-What do you like to eat here?
-French fries. I like to eat them pretty good.
-French-fried potaters.
-Yeah.
-How much you want fer 'em? I'll get some of them I reckon.
-Sixty for small and seventy-five for large.
-These dang things are heavy. Hard to carry, too.
-What you got in there, warshing?
-Yeah.
-Ain't you got no mama and daddy to tend to it?
-I got a mama, but she's at work over at Ben's Dollar Store. My daddy's dead. He got hit by a train.
-How fer you going with them sacks full of warsh?
-About a half a mile I think it is.
-I'll help you tote 'em if I don't give out first.
-My name is Frank Wheatley. What's your name?
-... on the third day I washed her. She wasn't very clean. I got all the right spots. She was the first one I ever kept for any length of time, you see I get bored easily, I have a short attention span. I can't say she enjoyed her stay, although the washcloth in her mouth held in place by good duct tape kept
-They was a boy. We made friends.
-I bet you did. I was never bent that way. I'm bent the other way. So, you liked it out there in the world.
-It's too big.
-Well, it's not too big in here, is it? I feel very generous today. I feel like listening. I'm sure you have plenty to tell me. And please bore me with the details. ) Come on Karl, who did you kill? Was it the boy?
-Hey Freddy, what's goin' on boy. I seen your pitcher in the paper for catchin' that big-ass bass.
-Yeah She was a big 'un. You ain't drunk drivin' are you Doyle?
-Yeah.
-I figured that. Well you better be careful with that cripple in the back. You'll throw him out. Looks like you got a wagonful.
-We run outta somethin' to drink. Goin' to the county line. You want to race?
-You know better than that. We're on duty. Catch me in that Camaro next week one night.
-Doyle, you're awful. You shouldn't be that way.
-I ain't sayin' it's right. I'm just tellin' the truth. What was he in the nuthouse for?
-He's just mentally retarded, I guess.
-Yeah, that's right, Frank, you better ask him. I mean, don't hurt his feelin's or anything, but it would be good to know. I'm sure it's nothin'. He seems real sweet.
-You sure are hung up on people bein' sweet. Speakin' of which, where's your girlfriend? I thought he was comin' by here for something.
-He'll be here in a little while, he's takin' me to get an ice cream.
-Ain't that the sweetest thing. What am I supposed to do about supper with you traipsin' around with that fag?
-You're not crippled. Get in there and make somethin'.
-Boy, ain't you somethin' else. Talkin' back and everything. It kinda makes me horny when you talk back.
-Let's go, Vaughan. Frank, we'll be back in a little while. I'll bring you back somethin'. You're food's in the oven warmin' over.
-Well, I wouldn't let it get to you.
-I just feel sorry for the poor thing.
-Who could eat with him settin' there makin' that goddamn racket with his throat.
-You know what, by God?
-What?
-You know what we ought to do tonight?
-Please Doyle, don't.
-Have a damn party! Call Morris and them and get the band together and just party our asses off. I'd like to show that fuckin' Karl to the guys. They'd get a kick out of that. Don't you know they would.
-Please don't. Not tonight. I'm not up for it. They always stay till mornin'. I'm just give out, Doyle.
-Well, it's on! We're gonna rock. Linda, call Vaughan. Tell him to get over here. I'd like him to be here. I owe him a good time.
-No Doyle. Vaughan don't want to come to a party with you.
-Okay ladies and gentlemen or both. It's come to the time in our show when we like to introduce the band. Over here on lead guitar Mr. Randy Horsefeathers. Come on hit a hot lick, Randy. Well, come on, y'all are supposed to clap now. Come on!
-He don't want to Doyle. Don't go Vaughan if you don't want to. You'll wreck Doyle, you're drunk.
-I thought I told everybody to get out of my house. That includes cocksuckers and retards. Get off your asses and go.
-This is not your house, Doyle. This is my house and I'll say who stays and goes. You've got a house, why don't you go get one of your girlfriends and go home to it.
-You're not stayin' here tonight. Go get sober before you come back. I'm tired of my child seein' this. Now you get yourself straight or I'll lock your ass out of my life for good.
-You know what I told you, you even think of leavin' me, I'll kill you dead as a doornail.
-Leave.
-Don't tell me what to do.
-Leave.
-Don't tell me what to do.
-Leave.
-Don't tell me what to do.
-Leave.
-What in the goddamn hell are you doin'? It's the middle of the night.
-We'll go to church and get you baptized, tomorrow's Sunday. You go on back to bed.
-How'd your baptizin' go?
-It went real good.
-Well, that's good. It's about time to eat and you know what I'm cravin'? Some of that take out chicken. Why don't you run get some of it, honey, for lunch?
-All right, y'all gonna go with me?
-Naw, hell, let them stay here with me and do men things. There might be some kind of ball game on we can watch. You go on.
-Well, honey, I don't guess I give a shit. I ain't here half the time anyway. If you want a retard livin' in the garage, I don't guess I care. I've got a good tool box and socket set out there I don't want stol'd. I guess I could take it home with me.
-He's real honest. He wouldn't steal nothin'.
-Now son, I wadn't talkin' to you, was I? Was I?
-No sir.
-I ain't sure.
-I want to watch T.V.
-Come on, Karl, let's go out to the garage.
-Stop it, Doyle!
-Stop it, Doyle! Don't talk about daddy, you hear me!
-What have you got to be nervous about? You're a damn kid. You ain't got any bills to pay or bidness to run or old lady to stay on your ass all the time.
-Last time you got mad and run Morris and them off and said to stay away from here.
-Okay, I'll leave and sober up. Everything's botherin' me, that's all. I'm hurtin' Linda. I love you.
-I hate you!
-Now here's the deal. Now that I'm gonna throw my entire life away doin' what I want to come live here with y'all, we have to get a few things straight. See, Frank, me and you mama wouldn't have any problems if it wadn't for you. We'd never have a bad word between us. But since you do exist, if I'm gonna be here
-Sure, I guess.
-Hey, Vaughan, you know what I heard? I heard you been puttin' it to Albert Sellers that works over at the funeral home.
-I know Albert. We're friends.
-I heard you was more than friends. I heard Dick Rivers caught y'all all bowed up and goin' at it in the same room with poor, little, old Mizz Ogletree and her dead as a doornail layed out on a gurney.
-You like that Vaughan?
-Sure. It sounded like a number one tune all right.
-I'd better go on home now, it's late. I have to work tomorrow.
-Are you sure you can drive? You've really had a lot of alcohol.
-I bet you like sittin' between two men in a dual wheel truck don't you?
-Oh, yeah, I'm thrilled.
-You got that shit right.
-I don't really understand the meaning of the words.
-We don't have a goddamn band! Y'all just shut the fuck up! We don't need no practicin' or managers cause we ain't no fuckin' band! Morris ain't no genius and the rest of you are just losers. Am I the only one sane human bein' around here? Just get the hell out of my house and don't come back!
-It's not your house, Doyle, it's Linda's.
-Doyle, don't you lay one hand on her.
-I'm a witness. I heard you threaten her life.
-What's in your bag?
-This and that. Toothpaste and whatnot.
-What's all them books?
-Different ones. The Bible's one of 'em.
-You believe in the Bible?
-A good deal of it, I reckon. Can't understand all of it.
-I ain't never used no hatchet that I remember.
-On the bass, give it up for Terence "One Ball" Atkins. On the tambourine and lyrics Morris Hobbs the fuckin' genius of the group. On drums "The Johnson." And last and most importantly, Doyle Hargraves on rhythm guitar and business affairs and the only motherfucker with a truck big enough to haul this outfit on the next world fuckin' tour. Come on, a big
-Childers.
-I want to be baptized.
-Don't hit that boy no more.
-Where's ever'body else? You seen 'em? I thought I told you to get the hell moved out of here anyway.
-How does a feller go about gettin' ahold of the police?
-Pick up the fuckin' phone and call 'em, I guess.
-What numbers do you punch?
-I told you to get away from here, didn't I? I'm tryin' to relax and look at TV. What are you doin' with that piece of iron? I swear to God you're the weirdest son of a bitch I ever heard of.
-Hey Frank. You shouldn't be coming over here. My parents really don't want you to.
-I wanted to bring you some flowers. They're pretty good ones.
-I wanted for you to meet Karl, too. He's my new friend. But I feel like I've always known him. I thought you should meet him.
-Why? Hi, Karl.
-He's gonna be around a lot and I hope you are too, so...
-Can you go there with us now? Me and Karl. We could just hang out. Karl has some cool books.
-Frank, I just like you as a friend. Only at the secret place. Okay? I can't go there now. I'll see you later.
-But maybe just for awhile --
-What's you last name?
-Childers.
-What are all them books?
-Different ones. One's the Bible. One of 'ems a book on Christmas. One of 'ems how to be a carpenter.
-How come you're carryin' them around with you.
-Ain't got nowhere to set 'em down.
-Don't you live somewhere?
-I did live there in the state hospital.
-Why'd you live there?
-I killed some folks quite awhile back. They said I wadn't right in the head and they put me in there in the nervous hospital instead of puttin' me in jail.
-They let you out?
-Yeah.
-How come?
-They told me I was well. They had to turn me loose.
-Are you well?
-I reckon I feel all right.
-Do you like to play football?
-I never was much count at it. I never did get picked out fer it.
-Hey there. I thought I heard somebody on the porch. Wasn't your name Karl?
-Yeah it is. Your name's Frank.
-Yeah. What you doin' by here?
-You told me to come by.
-Did you want to play ball with us?
-I ain't no good at it. I just come by.
-Well, anyhow, I was just fixin' to go see my mama down at Ben's Dollar Store. She's workin' two till eight.
-Wait a minute. You want to go with me? You can meet my mama.
-I don't want to worry your mama with company.
-Aw, come on. You'll like her. She's real nice. She'll give us somethin' if we ask her to. Candy or somethin'.
-I was kindly needin' to do some tradin'. Reckon they sell toothpaste?
-This is what I call my secret place 'cause I come out here when I feel like bein' by myself. I used to come here with Karen Cross. She's kind of like my girlfriend, or used to be. She says she likes Jerry Maroney now. But I'm gonna get her back 'cause I love her. We used to come here and hold hands and
-Naw. Didn't have too much. Enough to scrape by on, I reckon.
-They still around, your folks?
-My mother's dead. My daddy's s'posed to be around still. He don't want to have nothin' to do with me though.
-How do you know?
-He never did want to. I figure he ain't changed his mind much.
-How did your mama die?
-You don't need to know all of that. You're just a boy. You need to think about good thoughts while you're still a boy. They'll be plenty of time for the other.
-I've had a lot of bad thoughts since my daddy died. Sometimes I wish I was still real little and he was still here. My mama's real good, but I wish I had both of 'em. When we went to Memphis one time in the car, it was rainin' so hard we couldn't see the road. But I wadn't scared because I thought as
-How come her to keep bein' girlfriends and all with him if he's mean to her?
-Karl. You know when I said daddy got hit by a train.
-Yeah, I remember you a-tellin' me that.
-It ain't the truth. He shot hisself with a shotgun on purpose.
-Why did he do that, reckon.
-'Cause he didn't have enough money to take care of us the way he wanted to. That's what the letter said. He got laid off from work and had to just work odd jobs. I thought he took care of us fine. Karl, did you really kill somebody?
-Yeah, I did.
-Who did you kill?
-Two people.
-Were they bad people?
-I thought they was.
-Maybe they needed it.
-I growed up and got taught it ain't right to kill nobody.
-I'd like to kill that son of a bitch. I hate him.
-You ort not to talk that way. You're just a boy.
-Well, I hate him.
-He ort not to talk that away to you neither. He ain't no count. He's mean to you and your mama. Yore mama and that feller that's carryin' me to get somethin' d'eat's gonna be back here directly.
-Will you stay here with us for a long time?
-I reckon if you want me to. I got some of that potted meat and sodie crackers left over if you want some.
-I don't see how you can eat that stuff with all those insides it's made out of.
-I reckon it tastes pretty good to me.
-I like the way you talk.
-Hey Karl, you off work?
-Yeah.
-Where'd you get them flowers?
-That gal that made employee of the month give 'em to me for awalkin' with her.
-I was goin' to the secret place. I borried one of your books to take down there. You ain't mad, are you?
-Naw. You can look at all my books you want to.
-It's name's A Christmas Carol.
-That's than un on Christmas I was tellin' you about.
-You want to go with me?
-I'm gettin' tired of readin' for a while.
-All right then.
-Boy, folks sure had it rough back a long time ago, didn't they?
-Yeah, I reckon they did. Hit like to tore me up when I read about that pore little cripple boy.
-Yeah, me too. That was nice of that woman to give you them flowers.
-Hit was right thoughty of her.
-I was wantin' to ask you somethin'.
-All right then.
-You know that girl I told you about. The one I love.
-Yeah, I recollect it.
-Would you go see her with me? I kind of thought I might take her some flowers like that woman done you.
-If you want me to.
-I ain't got no money to get 'em with but I bet Vaughan will let me have some of them flowers at the store.
-I bet he will. I got a little money if he don't. I'll get 'em for ye.
-I usually get run off by her mama or daddy if they're home. Reckon why they don't like me?
-They ort to. You're a good boy.
-Just 'cause I'm not rich don't mean I don't love her.
-Naw.
-And I don't try to touch her. You know, in a bad way. Foolin' around, sex and all.
-That's real good. You ort not to if ye ain't married to somebody. Bible tells you that much. Hit tells some things that don't seem right too, I reckon. I guess a feller ort to foller it close as he can, though. You don't touch yourself, do you?
-What do you mean?
-Pull on your works. Your privates.
-Oh, jackin' off?
-Yes sir. You ort not know that language.
-I didn't know till here while back a year or two ago when I spent the night with Ronnie Smart one time. He said just tug on your peter and think about your mama. I tried it, but I felt funny thinkin' about my mama. So, I switched over to thinkin' about his mama and then what he told me would happen, happened. It
-You ort not to pull on yourself that away.
-I kind of like you tellin' me what to do and not to do. Just like my daddy. I didn't mind him tellin' me. I hate Doyle to tell me what to do. Mama said the only way to ever get away from him is for him to get away from us. That we can't leave him or he'll try and hurt her.
-He ain't no count.
-You don't seem like a daddy. You seem like a brother. Wonder what makes you like somebody right off when you don't even know 'em like what happened with me and you.
-I don't reckon I know.
-And then some people you don't like right off. It's funny. You know why I want you to play ball with me?
-Naw.
-'Cause it's fun. It don't matter if you ain't no good. It takes your mind off of everything else while you're doin' it. When you run real fast tryin' to make a touchdown you don't think about anything else. I ain't no good, but my daddy always said he was proud of me when I threw a ball or ran with it. Did you
-I had one there for little bit. Hit didn't get old enough to play with.
-Why not? It died?
-Yeah.
-Why?
-Hit was borned a little too early on. My mother and father made hit come too early some way or other. I reckon they changed their mind about havin' another'n. I was about six or eight year old then and they didn't care too much for me so I reckon they didn't need somethin' else to worry 'em with.
-So it died when it come out?
-My daddy come to the shed out back and got me and said throw this here away and handed me a towel with somethin' in it. I went for the trash barrel there and opened up the towel to see 'cause they was a noise and somethin' movin' in it. Hit was bloody-like around that towel. Hit was a little ol' bitty baby, no
-It was alive?
-Yes sir. Right then it was.
-A boy or girl?
-A little ol' boy.
-You threw it in a trash barrel?
-I didn't feel right about doin' that. I takened a shoe box from there in the shed and emptied out some screwdrivers and nuts and warshers from it and put the little feller in that and buried him in the corner of the yard there. That seemed more proper to me, I reckon.
-It was still alive when you buried it?
-I heared it cryin' a little through that box.
-That don't seem right. It seems like you should have kept him alive and took care of him if he was your brother.
-I wadn't but six or eight. I reckon I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to care for no baby. Mama and Daddy didn't want him. They learned me to do what they told me to. These days I figure it might of been best to give him right back to the Good Lord right off the bat anyhow.
-That makes me feel real sad. Couldn't you have done somethin', Karl? I would have. I wish I would of had him. He'd be here right now. Livin'.
-Hits been hard thinkin' about it. They ain't a day goes by I don't think about it. I kindly have a picture of it up in my head that I see. Hit makes me sad, too. I have bad thoughts on it. I wished they was somethin' I could of did, too. Shouldn't no bad things happen to childern. All the ol' bad things
-I didn't mean to say anything bad about you. I know you're good. You didn't mean no harm. Did you ever think about killin' yourself on purpose like my daddy did?
-I've studied about it. The Bible says not to or you end up goin' to Hades. Some folks calls it Hell, I call it Hades.
-Bible says the same thing about killin' others, too.
-She said she'd see me later. That's kinda good, right?
-What you readin'?
-Readin' on this book on how to work carpentry. I aim to learn how to build things out of wood one of these times. I've always been partial to wood buildin's and cabinets and whatnot. These drawin's they got here don't make no sense to me so far. You seem like yore tails a'draggin' a might. You got somethin' wrong with ye?
-Seems like Doyle's wormed his way back in. Mama said he's stayin' over tonight and he's talkin' about movin' in for good. We ain't ever gonna be happy. We'll always be nervous, won't we Karl?
-I don't reckon I know. I ain't found no way yet and I'm three or four times as old as you. Might be that's just the way folks is.
-I feel sad about Karen Cross, too. I just make like to myself she loves me. I know better, though. It just feels good to me when I imagine it.
-Bill Cox is goin' to a funeral for a Mister Turner tomorrow and a closin' up shop early.
-Is that right?
-I'll play ball with ye. I reckon if neither one of us is no count it won't make no difference.
-You will? For sure?
-Yeah.
-We'll be on teams, me and you?
-Way to go, Karl. We got a touchdown. That was a good lateral, man. That was just like the Wishbone.
-I dern near had me a touchdown till them boys got a-hold of me there so I figured I better give it off to you. I seen you over there follerin' me.
-I know you could of scored them three touchdowns by yourself instead of throwing 'em over to me.
-Them boys was tryin' to pull me down pretty hard.
-It don't matter to me about us losin' does it to you?
-No sir.
-It was fun, anyhow.
-I wadn't thinkin' about nothin' else just like you told me I'd do.
-Can we play ever' Saturday?
-Yeah, I guess.
-Hey, Karl. How'd you know to come out here?
-I knowed you'd be here. What are you a-doin' digging with that stob?
-Just diggin'. I ain't ever gonna be happy now. Not with that son of a bitch movin' in for good. I wish me and you and Mama could just run away. But she said he would find us wherever we went. He's crazy. Sometimes I think it would of been better if I wadn't ever born.
-I'm glad of it you was borned. I reckon I ain't gonna be there in the garage no more.
-You have to Karl. You have to look out for me. You don't let that son of a bitch run you off.
-You're just a boy. You ort not to use that sort of language.
-Karl, I ain't tryin' to say nothin' bad about you, but why don't you stop Doyle when he gets that away? You're older than him. You're strong, too. My daddy wouldn't let him do that to me and Mama.
-That feller's a whole sight meaner than me. He'd just whup the tar out of me.
-Yeah, I guess so. I'm real tired, you know that. A kid my age shouldn't be tired of things.
-I'm tired, too, Frank. If I ain't around no more, it don't mean I don't care fer ye. I care for ye a good deal. I care for you more than anybody they is. We made friends right off the bat.
-I care for you, too. But you'll be around, don't say that.
-Maybe you can make more sense out of them than I can. I made you a little old book marker and stuck it in that book on Christmas.
-You don't want to give away all your books.
-I aim fer you to have 'em.
-Man. Thanks. You know when you get a feelin' and you don't know why?
-Yes sir.
-I've got a feelin' today.
-Reckon what kind of a feelin'?
-Like something different. I don't know. You're leavin' ain't you, Karl?
-Will ye do somethin' for me if I ast you to?
-You know I would. Whatever you want.
-Don't go home tonight and stay with that Doyle. He's got it in for ye tonight. I got me a feelin', too. Feels like to me you ort not be there in that house with him liquored up and mean. Ye mama neither. When you get up from here, I want you to go to that feller's house. Your mama's friend. I want you
-Okay. I give you my word. Is ever'thing gonna be okay? Are you all right?
-Ever'thing's okay, boy. I kindly want to put my arm around ye for a minute and then I'm gonna go on and leave here.
-Hey, Mama. Hey, Vaughan.
-Oh, that's Karl. I met him at the laundrymat. Karl, this is my mama. And Vaughan, Vaughan's the manager. He lets mama off any time she feels like it 'cause they're best friends.
-Hey Karl, guess what. Mama said you can stay with us. Out in the garage. Our car won't fit in there anyway. It's real neat.
-Maybe you and Karl want to go with us?
-How come Karl won't eat here with us?
-I sure like the way he talks. It sounds like a race car motor idlin'. It makes me not be nervous.
-Karl, now listen, there's gonna be a party tonight here at the house. Doyle's invited his music-playin' buddies over to make a bunch of racket out on the patio.
-They ain't even no good. The only one can play is Randy Horsefeathers. He claims he's an Indian. His real name's Randy Collins and he works at the feed mill. He can at least play guitar.
-He's no more an Indian than I am though. Anyhow, Doyle's gonna try and tease you and be mean to you to show off to his friends. Just like he does to Frank and me sometimes. You just ignore it. Or stay out here away from 'em if he'll let you. He's an okay guy till he gets drunk but tonight he'll get drunk.
-You all right, Mama?
-I'm fine, honey. Let's just try and forget about tonight.
-We don't need to think bad thoughts, do we Mama?
-What are you doin' up again, Frank? You need to get a little sleep.
-Did Vaughan go home?
-Yeah, he has to go to work in a little while. I do too.
-Did Karl go to bed?
-I guess. He went to the garage. Poor thing, he's probably never seen such a crazy mess. He probably wants to go back and live in Mr. Cox's shop.
-I bet he don't. Karl likes me.
-I know he does.
-Mama?
-Huh?
-Is everything gonna be all right someday? I just stay nervous all the time just about.
-Yeah, honey, someday everything's gonna be all right.
-Doyle wouldn't really kill you, would he?
-I promise we're gonna get away from him. The time has to be right, that's all. I'd rather him get tired of me and leave me. Then he wouldn't want to hurt me. He wouldn't care then. We'll be fine. I promise. You go to bed now. I love you.
-Well, at least he's tryin'. But who knows for how long.
-He's lyin' Mama. He ain't gonna do better.
-I know honey. Just remember what I said, we'll bide our time. You just steer clear of him as much as you can. Doyle's had a real hard life. It's just about run him crazy I think.
-Yes ma'am, I reckon.
-I like walkin' quite a bit from time to time.
-You walk fast, don't you?
-These is the worst shoes I own for walkin'. How far did you want to go?
-A blister shore can hurt.
-Yeah.
-Flowers is pretty. I've always thought that.
-I'm ye boy.
-I ain't got no boy.
-I'm ye oldest boy name Karl.
-I ain't got no boy.
-That grass out in the yard's all growed up. I figured I might cut it fer ye.
-I reckon I'm gonna have to get used to looking at pretty people.
-Yes, I guess you are.
-I reckon I'm gonna have to get used to them lookin' at me, too.
-You better go get your things.
-I ain't got nothing but them books.
-You better go get 'em.
-Karl, what in the world are you doing here?
-I want to come back and stay here.
-Well, you can't do that. You're a free man. You've been let out to do as you please.
-I reckon I don't care nothin' about bein' a free man. I don't know how to go about it.
-Well, you have to learn. It'll take some time. Don't you know anybody down there to help you out?
-Naw.
-Your daddy's still livin' down there from what you told me. I guess he wouldn't help you any, would he? I wasn't thinking. You don't know anybody?
-Naw. Never did know too much of nobody. Not to he'p me out anyway.
-Listen, Karl, the truth is I don't know where they expect you to go or what they expect you to do. If it was up to me, I'd let you stay here if that's what you wanted. I'm just doin' my job. You follow me? Listen, I know an old boy that runs a fix-it shop deal down in Millsburg. He used to go
-I'm pretty handy I reckon on lawn mowers and whatnot.
-I know, I've seen it myself. Would you give that a try?
-I reckon.
-I can't promise he'll hire you. I'll have to tell him about your history.
-I never was no good with history.
-No, I mean your past. About why you were in here. I'll take you first thing in the mornin'. You have anyplace you can stay tonight at all? I just can't let you stay here. It's the rules. If something happened well, I'd be liable.
-She's talkin' about me, Karl. That's my first name.
-Karl, you up?
-Didn't you go to sleep at all, Karl? You been sittin' there like that all night?
-Yes sir.
-Are you sure you're okay staying with that woman and boy?
-Yes sir.
-Do they know about you?
-My history.
-Yeah.
-I told 'em about it. They know I'm well. That Mizz Wheatley made me some biscuits.
-I'll be.
-That boy, he's my friend. He likes the way I talk and I like the way he talks.
-Hey, Vaughan. How are you, Karl?
-Tolerable, I reckon.
-You scared me.
-I didn't aim to.
-Want to sit down? Did you need somethin'?
-Two fellers was on a bridge a takin' a leak and one feller says the water was cold and the other said it was deep water. One of 'em came from Arkansas, I believe.
-Do you reckon you can make me some biscuits?
-Right now?
-Just whenever you take a notion to. I don't aim to put you out.
-Well, it is nearly breakfast time anyway. I can't go to sleep. I have to be at work in three hours. You know how it is when you just sleep an hour or two, you feel worse than if you hadn't slept at all?
-Yes ma'am.
-Well, set down and I'll make some biscuits and gravy.
-Mustard's good on 'em to me.
-Thank ye.
-It's all right. You know I was thinkin' there's this girl that works with me. She's real heavy, but she's cute in the face. Well, you know, she's slow. She's a little bit, I think. She's not retarded, just -- it don't matter, listen to me. I thought you might like to meet her. Vaughan wants to have a little supper over at his
-I wouldn't mind a havin' supper.
-Vaughan's "friend" will be there, too. He works at the funeral home. And Frank. You know Frank likes you a lot. He says you make him feel calm.
-Hit ain't right for me to keep from tellin' you how come me to be put in the state hospital.
-That's okay. It's not really my business. I have wondered though. Why was it? Was it like a nervous breakdown?
-Was that you? I remember that. I was only three or four, but I always heard about it growin' up. They say you're well?
-Yes ma'am. I like your garage. I wouldn't never hurt you or your boy. I'd lay my hand on the Bible and say the same thing.
-Karl, why don't you and Melinda go take a walk. It's nice out.
-You're a hell of a boy, Frank. Someday you're gonna get all the good things you deserve. And Karl here's gonna get some more biscuits tonight. What do you think about that?
-Where are you goin', Karl? Didn't you want some chicken and things?
-No ma'am. I'm a'goin' off sommers.
-Well, okay. I got you some.
-Frank, he went off, too. He ain't gonna be in there when you get indoors.
-Where'd he go? What's goin' on?
-He wanted to go off and play, I reckon. You go in there and you and that Doyle eat ye dinner. You don't have to worry yourself none.
-All right then. Well, I'll see you later. If you see Frank, tell him to come on back home. I don't get to see him all day except Sundays. He can play tomorrow.
-Ma'am?
-Yeah.
-You're a good mama to that boy. You care for him. You work hard fer him to take care of him. You light him up in his eyes, I've seen it. He wouldn't know what to do without ye.
-Well thank you, hun. That's real good of you to say. I wouldn't know what to do without him either.
-You've been real good to me, too. It ain't ever'body that'd make biscuits in the middle of the night. You and that boy has give me a good feelin'.
-We sure like havin' you.
-I don't think I've ever seen you before.
-Naw, I don't believe you have. I don't reckon I never been in here. This store didn't used to be here.
-It's been here seventeen years. Did you live here before or something?
-I's horned and raised here up till I's twelve year old.
-What brings you back?
-What's that you say?
-Why are you here now?
-They turned me loose from the state hospital.
-Is that right? Are you going to be staying here long?
-I reckon Mr. Woolridge got me hired on to work for Bill Cox's outfit.
-Do you have family here?
-Yes sir.
-So, you're really going to stay here?
-That boy wants me to.
-Did you knock on the door yet?
-Naw, I ain't.
-How long have you been standing here?
-Quite a spell, I reckon.
-Listen, before you get very used to staying here, I think you and I need to talk about a few things. Can I take you to lunch?
-I done et just a little bit ago.
-I mean tomorrow or the next day.
-I reckon I can stand to eat a little somethin' or 'nother at noontime tomorrow. Bill Cox generally gets me a box of french fried potaters. But I reckon he can lay off doin' it tomorrow.
-Okay, Karl, the reason I brought you here was to talk to you about something that is on my mind. I guess I'll put it right out on the table. Where do I start. Linda and Frank are very important to me. They're like family. My own family was never like family. They're horrible people. As a matter of fact I prayed every night
-I reckon not.
-Homosexual. I like men. Sexually.
-Not funny, ha, ha, funny queer.
-Well that's a very offensive way to put it. You shouldn't say that. You were taught that, weren't you?
-I've heard it said that way.
-Anyway, it's hard to live gay, that's the right way to say it, in a small town like this. I've wanted to leave many times, but my love for Linda and Frank and another certain person that we won't go into have kept me from it. Anyway, I'm rambling. If you're going to live in the Wheatly garage you need to know that it
-I wouldn't never hurt them.
-I was thinkin' I could use me another helpin' of these potaters.
-Oh. How about before that?
-I think Karl is going to be a writer or a librarian eventually. You should see all the books he has. He must read constantly.
-Karl, what are you doing here? Come in.
-I ain't a-stayin'. I need to ast you fer a favor.
-Okay.
-This evenin' I want you to go get Mizz Wheatley and that Frank and have them stay with you tonight.
-What's wrong? Is everything okay?
-That dern Doyle is in a bad way again with that drinkin' and bein' mean to folks. Will you give me your word you'll do it?
-Well, sure, okay. He hasn't hurt them, has he?
-What about you, Karl? Do you want to stay here?
-Frank, don't talk that way. Who's that strange lookin' man behind you? Did he follow you in here?
-He just got out of the state hospital.
-Are you sure it's safe to let him around that guy?
-Frank's just crazy about him. He likes the way he talks. He helped him carry home the clean laundry.
-He's been in the state hospital a long time, something must be wrong with him.
-He's retarded's all. You know he's always after a father figure and Lord knows Doyle ain't a good one with his mean ass.
-What about me?
-I don't think he sees you as a guy guy.
-Good. I haven't decided yet if I'm a good cook.
-Karl, maybe you and Melinda might want to take a walk or something after dinner. It's a nice night.
-Vaughan, don't get pushy.
-Listen everybody, I know this may sound corny, I've had a few glasses of wine and that kind of makes me a little emotional, but I'm going to say it anyway. It just came over me in a rush. I want you all to know that I care about each and every one of you at this table.
-I don't know why you're so weirded out, this is not San Quentin, it's just a nuthouse. Most of these people don't even know where they are, they're not gonna hurt you.
-In a few minutes we're gonna be in a room with a killer. That doesn't bother you?
-Hey, you're the one that wanted to major in journalism. Anyhow, wasn't the guy something like twelve or thirteen when he did it, it was twenty-five years ago, he probably doesn't even remember it.
-Do you smell shit?
-Let's just go, Marsha.
-No, we have to get this story.
-I thought you'd be happy to leave.
-My name's Jerry Woolridge.
-Nice to meet you. I'm Marsha Dwiggins and this is Theresa Evans. She's here to take the pictures.
-Y'all have a seat. Is this all of you?
-Yes sir.
-I think there must have been a little mix up. I told your sponsor or teacher or whatever he is, there couldn't be any pictures. It's s'posed to be just a little story or article or something, isn't that right?
-Well, yeah, it's for the school newspaper. But it has pictures. I mean it's a regular paper, you know.
-Karl's real sensitive about having his picture made. He wouldn't even be on the bulletin board for the Easter Collage. Melvin, would you get me a good hot cup with two sugar substitutes? You girls want some coffee?
-No thank you.
-I don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry. I made myself pretty clear I thought. He probably got busy and wasn't thinking. I know how that is. I used to teach shop and eighth grade science.
-Can't you talk to him? Maybe talk him into it. I'm a real good interviewer. Just get me in the room with him.
-You see, Karl, growing up, only knew that sex was wrong and that people who did it should be killed for it. He couldn't really read but, well, neither could his mother. But, his father made sure that his mother knew what the Bible said. And she made sure Karl knew. You know he slept in a hole in the ground under a toolshed,
-I knew he slept in a toolshed.
-His mother told him that he was their punishment. Hers and his father's; from God, for having sex--
-Before they were married?
-I don't think so. Just period, I think. She told him... God gave them the ugliest creation he could think of. Karl has an entire book -- a notebook. On every page it says "Franklin Chapter 1 Verse number 1." He wrote that a few years ago after he'd learned to write. His father's name was Franklin.
-That's really strange. What does it mean?
-But, here's the thing. He'll only talk to you. He doesn't want you to ask him anything. And you shouldn't stare at him.
-How am I going to conduct an interview if I can't ask him any questions?
-It's the best you're gonna get. I'm sorry.
-Can I ask you a question? If he's so troubled, why are you letting him out? What if he does it again? It happens all the time.
-He's free. His time's up. That's the rules. He's been treated and reevaluated. He doesn't show any signs any more.
-Signs?
-Is he leaving right this minute?
-We've got some paperwork to take care of. Pretty soon. Don't worry, you won't run into him in the parking lot.
-I didn't mean that.
-I hope the best for you, Miss Dwiggins, with your school and your paper and all.
-Where will he go?
-Wherever he wants to. I think he's going back to Millsburg where he's from. It's just about twenty miles from here.
-Will he be supervised?
-Also, Melinda, please don't tell anybody at the store that Albert was here tonight, okay.
-Why?
-Well, a lot of people in town talk and spread cruel rumors. Unfortunately, I have to keep certain parts of my life private.
-You mean about y'all bein' together in "that" way?
-Yes.
-It's coming along. At the rate he's going, he'll have a story finished by the end of the summer.
-What!
-Perhaps I should rephrase the question. What I mean to say is, are you married or seriously involved with a significant other?
-No! At least I don't think I am!
-Good. Then may I have the honor of extending an invitation to you?
-And what's the occasion of this celebration?
-It's my birthday.
-And how many people will be attending this birthday party?
-I wouldn't actually call it a party. It's more along the lines of a dinner in celebration of my birthday. The guest list is quite restricted. So far, there's Mr. Benjamin and myself. If you accept, that would make three of us.
-Ah-hah, I see. A cozy dinner. But aren't threesomes a little awkward? How does the phrase go--
-Three's a crowd. Yes, I'm aware of that. But I have to keep an eye on Mr. Benjamin wherever he goes. To make sure he doesn't get himself into trouble.
-And what are you, his chaperone?
-Like me, too.
-I once read somewhere that one quarter of all the people in the United States have at least one relative who has lived in Brooklyn at one time or another.
-Will that be cash or charge?
-Better make it charge.
-I thought I recognized you. You're Paul Benjamin the writer, aren't you?
-I confess.
-So your mother grew up in Shanghai?
-Until she was twelve. She moved here in 'forty-nine.
-And your father? Is he from New York?
-Muncie, Indiana. He and my mother met as students. But I'm from Brooklyn. My sisters and I were all born and bred right here.
-And the bookstore? Have you been working there long?
-It's just a summer job. Something to help pay the bills while I finish my dissertation.
-Your dissertation? What subject do you study?
-American literature. What else?
-What else. Of course, what else? And what are you writing about for your thesis?
-Visions of Utopia in Nineteenth-Century American Fiction.
-Wow. You don't fool around, do you?
-Of course I fool around. But not so much when it comes to my work, it's true. Have you ever read Pierre, or the Ambiguities?
-Melville, huh? It's been a while.
-That's the subject of my last chapter.
-Not an easy book.
-Jesus, what happened to you?
-It looks worse than it is. I'm okay.
-What happened?
-I'll tell you all about it... ... but not here.
-It's been a while. I thought maybe you'd be in touch.
-Yeah, well, I've sort of been out of commission. How's Melville?
-I finished my story. I thought you might want to take a look at it.
-I'd love to.
-Good. I hope you like it. It was a long time in coming.
-I get off for lunch in ten minutes. Can I treat you to a hamburger?
-Uh ... actually, it might be better if you read the story first. Call me when you're finished, okay?
-Okay. I'll read it tonight and call you tomorrow. It doesn't seem to be too long.
-What'll it be, Auggie?
-And what about for you?
-Huh?
-What about for you?
-For me? I'll have the same thing.
-Do me a favor, will you?
-What's that, Sol?
-Next time, when you want two corned beef sandwiches, say, "Two corned beef sandwiches." When you want two ginger ales, say, "Two ginger ales."
-What's the difference?
-It's simpler, that's what. It makes things go faster.
-Uh, sure, Sol. Anything you say. Instead of saying, "One corned beef sandwich," and then, "Another corned beef sandwich," I'll say, "Two corned beef sandwiches."
-Hey, Auggie. How's it going?
-Hey, man. Good to see you. What'll it be today?
-Two tins of Schimmelpennincks. And throw in a lighter while you're at it.
-The boys and I were just having a philosophical discussion about women and cigars. Some interesting connections there, don't you think?
-Definitely. I suppose it all goes back to Queen Elizabeth.
-The Queen of England?
-Seven eighty-five out of twenty. Take care of yourself now, and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
-Are you closed?
-You run out of Schimmelpennincks?
-Do you think I could buy some before you leave?
-Looks like someone forgot a camera.
-Yeah, I did.
-It's yours?
-It's mine all right. I've owned that little sucker for a long time.
-I didn't know you took pictures.
-I guess you could call it a hobby. It doesn't take me more than about five minutes a day to do it, but I do it every day. Rain or shine, sleet or snow. Sort of like the postman. Sometimes it feels like my hobby is my real job, and my job is just a way to support my hobby.
-So you're not just some guy who pushes coins across a counter.
-That's what people see, but that ain't necessarily what I am.
-How'd you get started?
-Taking pictures? It's a long story. I'd need two or three drinks to get through that one.
-A photographer ...
-Well, let's not exaggerate. I take pictures. You line up what you want in the viewfinder and click the shutter. No need to mess around with all that artisto crap.
-I'd like to see your pictures some day.
-They're all the same.
-That's right. More than four thousand pictures of the same place. The corner of 3rd Street and Seventh Avenue at eight o'clock in the morning. Four thousand straight days in all kinds of weather. That's why I can never take a vacation. I've got to be in my spot every morning. Every morning in the same spot at the same time.
-I've never seen anything like it.
-It's my project. What you'd call my life's work.
-Amazing. I'm not sure I get it, though. I mean, how did you ever come up with the idea to do this ... this project?
-I don't know, it just came to me. It's my corner, after all. It's just one little part of the world, but things happen there, too, just like everywhere else. It's a record of my little spot.
-It's kind of overwhelming.
-You'll never get it if you don't slow down, my friend.
-What do you mean?
-I mean, you're going too fast. You're hardly even looking at the pictures.
-But they're all the same.
-They're all the same, but each one is different from every other one. You've got your bright mornings and your dark mornings. You've got your summer light and your autumn light. You've got your weekdays and your weekends. You've got your people in overcoats and galoshes, and you've got your people in shorts and T-shirts. Sometimes the same people, sometimes different ones. And sometimes
-Slow down, huh?
-Yeah. There she is. She's in quite a few from that year. She must have been on her way to work.
-Hey, man, good to see you.
-So, what brings you to a dive like this?
-It's his birthday so we decided to whoop it up a little.
-Hey, Auggie, I've just been thinking. You wouldn't need some help around the store, would you? Some summer help while Vinnie's gone?
-Help? Hmm. It's possible. What did you have in mind?
-I'm thinking about the kid. I'm sure he'd do a good job for you.
-The kid's sorry, Auggie.
-Yeah, well, I'm sorry too. It took me three years to save up those five thousand bucks, and now I'm broke. I can't hardly pay for this beer. Not to speak of having my credibility destroyed. Do you understand what I'm saying? My credibility. So yeah, I'm sorry, too. About as sorry as I've ever been in my whole fucking life.
-He's got something to tell you, Auggie.
-Don't be an ass, Auggie. He's trying to make it up to you, can't you see that?
-He's crazy.
-No, he's not. You are.
-You're right. I just wasn't sure you knew.
-It's written all over you like a neon sign. Now say something nice to Rashid to make him feel better.
-It could have been worse. If the cops hadn't come, I might not be standing here now.
-Cops? You mean they nabbed those cruds?
-No. The ... uh ... the Bobbsey Twins lit out when they heard the sirens. But at least they stopped playing that marimba duet on my skull. Assaultus interruptus.
-Fuckus my assus. They did some number on you.
-You haven't heard from Rashid, have you?
-Not a peep.
-I spoke to his aunt a couple of days ago, but she hasn't heard from him either. It's beginning to get a little scary.
-That could be a good sign, though. It could mean that he got away.
-So what did he say when he called?
-Nice machine, Auggie. Where'd you find it?
-It's not a long drive. An hour, an hour and a half. We'll be back in time for dinner.
-Hey, man, how's it going?
-Two, right?
-Uh, better make it one.
-You usually get two.
-Yeah, I know, but I'm trying to cut down. Somebody's worried about my health.
-Fine. Or it was until a couple of days ago. A guy from The New York Times called and asked me to write a Christmas story. They want to publish it on Christmas Day.
-That's a feather in your cap, man. The paper of record.
-Yeah, great. The problem is, I have four days to come up with something, and I don't have a single idea. You know anything about Christmas stories?
-Christmas stories? Sure, I know a ton of 'em.
-Anything good?
-Good? Of course. Are you kidding? I'll tell you what. Buy me lunch, my friend, and I'll tell you the best Christmas story you ever heard. How's that? And I guarantee every word of it is true.
-It doesn't have to be true. It just has to be good.
-I have to pee. If the waiter comes, order me a corned beef on rye and a ginger ale, okay?
-So. Are we ready?
-Ready. Any time you are.
-I'm all ears.
-Okay. You remember how you once asked me how I started taking pictures? Well, this is the story of how I got my first camera. As a matter of fact, it's the only camera I've ever had. Are you following me so far?
-Every word.
-Did you ever go back to see her?
-Once, about three or four months later. I felt so bad about stealing the camera, I hadn't even used it yet. I finally made up my mind to return it, but Granny Ethel wasn't there anymore. Someone else had moved into the apartment, and he couldn't tell me where she was.
-She probably died.
-Yeah, probably.
-Which means that she spent her last Christmas with you.
-I guess so. I never thought of it that way.
-It was a good deed, Auggie. It was a nice thing you did for her.
-I lied to her, and then I stole from her. I don't see how you can call that a good deed.
-You made her happy. And the camera was stolen anyway. It's not as if the person you took it from really owned it.
-Anything for art, eh, Paul?
-I wouldn't say that. But at least you've put the camera to good use.
-And now you've got your Christmas story, don't you?
-What do you mean?
-I mean, it's a good story.
-Shit. If you can't share your secrets with your friends, what kind of friend are you?
-Christ, Ruby, it's been so long. I figured you were dead.
-Eighteen and a half years.
-Is that all? I thought it was about three hundred.
-You're looking good, Auggie.
-No I'm not. I look like shit. And so do you, Ruby. You look just awful. What's with the patch, anyway? What'd you do with that old blue marble -- hock it for a bottle of gin?
-I don't want to talk about it. If you really want to know. I lost it. And I'm not sorry I did. That eye was cursed, Auggie, and it never gave me nothing but grief.
-And you think it looks better to go around dressed up like Captain Hook?
-You always were a son-of-a-bitch, weren't you? A little weasel with a quick, dirty mouth.
-At least I've stayed true to myself. Which is more than I can say about some people.
-I've got something to talk to you about, and the least you can do is listen. You owe me that much. I drove all the way from Pittsburgh to see you, and I'm not going until you've heard me out.
-Talk away, lady of my dreams. I'm all ears.
-This is private, Auggie. Just between you and I.
-All right, sugar, what's on your mind?
-Don't look at me like that. Auggie. It gives me the creeps.
-Like what?
-Like what you're doing. I'm not going to eat you up. I need your help, and if you keep staring at me like that. I might start screaming.
-Help, huh? And I don't suppose this help has anything to do with money, does it?
-Don't rush me, okay? You're jumping to conclusions before I've even said anything. And besides, it's not for me. It's for our daughter.
-Our daughter? Is that what you said? Our daughter? I mean, you might have a daughter, but I sure as hell don't. And even if I did -- which I don't -- she wouldn't be our daughter.
-Her name is Felicity, and she just turned eighteen. She ran away from Pittsburgh last year, and now she's living in some shit-hole here in Brooklyn with a guy named Chico. Strung out on crack, four months pregnant. I can't bear to think about that baby. Our grandchild, Auggie. Just think of it. Our grandchild.
-Stop it, already. Just stop all this crap right now. Was that your idea to call her Felicity?
-It means "happiness."
-I know what it means. That still don't make it a good name.
-I don't know who else to turn to, Auggie.
-You've suckered me before, darling, remember? Why should I believe you now?
-Why would I lie to you, Auggie? You think it was easy to come here and walk into this place? Why would I do it if I didn't have to?
-That's what you told me when I shoplifted that necklace for you. You remember, baby, don't you? The judge gave me a choice: either go to the can or enlist. So, instead of going to college, I wind up in the navy for four years, I watch men lose their arms and legs, I nearly get my head blown off, and you, sweet Ruby
-You didn't write to me for more than a year. What was I supposed to think?
-Yeah, well, I lost my pen. By the time I got a new one, I was clean out of paper.
-It was over with Bill before you ever came home. Maybe you don't remember it now, but you were pretty hot to see me back then.
-You weren't so lukewarm yourself. At least at first.
-It fizzled, baby. That's the way it goes. But we had our times, didn't we? It wasn't all bad.
-A couple of moments, I'll grant you that. A second or two snatched from the jaws of eternity.
-And that's how Felicity came into the picture. During one of those two seconds.
-You're conning me, sweetheart. I ain't responsible for no baby.
-Then why do you think I married Frank? I was already pregnant, and I didn't have much time. Say what you like, but at least he gave my kid a name.
-Good old Frank. And how is fat Mr. Grease Monkey these days?
-Who the hell knows? He dropped out of sight fifteen years ago.
-Fifteen years ago? It won't wash, pumpkin. No mother waits fifteen years to tell a man he's a father. I wasn't born yesterday, you know.
-I thought I could handle it. I didn't want to bug you. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I couldn't. She's in real bad, Auggie.
-Nice try, old girl. I'd like to help you out. You know, for old time's sake. But all my spare cash is tied up in a business venture, and I haven't collected my profits yet. Too bad. You caught me at the wrong time.
-You're a cold-hearted bastard, aren't you? How'd you ever get so mean, Auggie?
-Get in, Auggie. I've got something to show you.
-You don't give up, do you?
-Just get in and shut up. I'm not asking you to do anything. I just need you to come with me.
-Where to?
-I told her she was going to meet her father.
-You what?
-It was the only way, Auggie. Otherwise, she wasn't going to let me see her.
-I think you'd better stop the car and let me out.
-Relax, okay? You don't have to do anything. Just go in there and pretend. It won't kill you to do a little favor like that. Besides, you might even learn something.
-Yeah, like what?
-That I wasn't bullshitting you, sweetheart. At least you'll know I've been telling the truth.
-Look, I'm not saying you don't have a daughter. It's just that she's not my daughter.
-Wait till you see her, Auggie.
-And what's that supposed to mean?
-She looks just like you.
-Cut it out. Just cut it out, okay? It's starting to get on my nerves.
-Jesus Christ. This is all I need.
-So you're just going to give up and go home?
-I don't have much choice, do I? It's pretty clear she doesn't want me around.
-Still, you can't just write her off.
-Yeah? And what else am I supposed to do? There's no baby anymore, and if she wants to throw away her life, that's her business.
-She's just a kid. There's time for more babies later. After she grows up.
-Dream on, Auggie. She'll be lucky to make it to her nineteenth birthday.
-Not if you got her into one of those rehab programs.
-I'd never be able to talk her into it. And even if I could, those things cost money. And that's just what I don't have. I'm flat out dead broke.
-No you're not.
-Are you calling me a liar? I'm telling you I'm broke. I don't even have insurance on my goddamned car.
-Remember that business venture I was telling you about? Well, my tugboat came in. I'm flush.
-Bully for you.
-What's this?
-Why don't you open it and find out?
-Jesus God, Auggie. There's money in here.
-Five thousand bucks.
-And you're giving it to me?
-It's all yours, baby.
-For keeps?
-For keeps.
-Fuck this angel shit. Just take the dough, Ruby. But no bawling, okay? I can't stand people who blubber.
-There's just one thing I want to know.
-Okay. I think everything's set. You've got the number for Cape Cod, right? Just in case something goes wrong.
-No problem, Vinnie. Everything's under control. I could run this store in my sleep.
-How long you been working for me, Auggie?
-I don't know. Thirteen, fourteen years. Something like that.
-It's pretty crazy, don't you think? I mean, a smart guy like you. What do you want to hang on to a dead-end job like this for?
-I don't know. Maybe because I love you so much, boss.
-Shit. You should have been married to someone by now. You know, settled down somewhere with a kid or two, a nice steady job.
-I almost got married once.
-Yeah, I know. To that girl who moved to Pittsburgh.
-Ruby McNutt. My one true love.
-Sounds like another one of your stories to me.
-She upped and married some other cat after I joined the navy. By the time I got my discharge, though, she was divorced. Her husband poked out her eye in a domestic quarrel.
-Lovely.
-She made a play for me after I got back, but her glass eye kept interfering with my concentration. Every time we got into a clinch, I'd start thinking about that hole in her head, that empty socket with the glass eye in it. An eye that couldn't see, an eye that couldn't shed any tears. The minute I started thinking about it, Mr.
-You don't take anything seriously, do you?
-I try not to, anyway. It's better for your health. I mean, look at you, Vincent. You're the guy with the wife and three kids and the ranch house on Long Island. You're the guy with the white shoes and the white Caddy and the white shag carpet. But you've had two heart attacks, and I'm still waiting for my first.
-I should stop smoking these damn things is what I should do. The fuckers are going to kill me one day.
-Enjoy it while you can, Vin. Pretty soon, they're going to legislate us out of business anyway.
-They catch you smoking tobacco, they'll stand you up against a wall and shoot you.
-Tobacco today, sex tomorrow. In three or four years, it'll probably be against the law to smile at strangers.
-Speaking of which, are you still going ahead with that deal on the Montecristos?
-It's all set. My guy in Miami said he'd have them within the next few weeks. Are you sure you don't want to go in with me? Five thousand dollars outlay, a guaranteed ten-thousand-dollar return. A consortium of Court Street lawyers and judges. They're just drooling to get their lips around some genuine Cuban cigars.
-No thanks. I don't care what you do, but just make sure you don't get caught, okay? The last I heard, it was still illegal to sell Cuban cigars in this country.
-It's the law that's buying. That's what's so beautiful about it. I mean, when was the last time you heard of a judge sending himself to jail?
-Suit yourself. But don't keep the boxes around here long.
-They come in, they go out. I've got it planned to the last detail.
-I've got to get moving. Terry will bust my chops if I'm late. See you in September, Auggie.
-Seventeen.
-Seventeen? I remember when I was seventeen. Christ, I was one little whacked-out son-of-a-bitch when I was seventeen. Is that what you are, son? One little whacked-out crazy fella?
-Definitely. I'd say you've hit the nail on the head.
-A job? I definitely wouldn't turn down a job.
-Come around to the cigar store tomorrow morning at ten o'clock and we'll talk about it, okay? We'll see what we can work out.
-I'll be back in about an hour. Watch the register while I'm gone, okay?
-A little. Not much.
-It's for you.
-For me? And what am I supposed to do with a paper bag?
-Open it.
-What is this, some kind of joke?
-No, it's five thousand dollars.
-Shit. I don't want your money, you little twerp. It's probably stolen anyway.
-What do you care where it comes from? It's yours.
-And why the hell would you give me money?
-So I can get my job back.
-Your job? You've got five thousand bucks. What do you want a piece-of-shit job like that for?
-To look at the dirty magazines. I can see all the naked women I want, and it doesn't cost me a cent.
-Come on, come on, you yellow belly. The whole thing. First name and last name.
-How'd you do out there, Jimmy?
-Good, Auggie. Real good. All finished.
-It'll never be finished.
-Huh?
-That's how it is with sidewalks. People come, people go, and they all drop shit on the ground. As soon as you clean up one spot and move on to the next, the first spot is dirty again.
-Sure, Auggie, I got it. The store's closed. And when do I tell them it's open?
-When I tell you it's open. It's open when I tell you it's open!
-... If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Do you understand what I'm saying? You never know what's going to happen next, and the moment you think you know, that's the moment you don't know a goddamn thing. That's what we call a paradox. Are you following me?
-Sure, Auggie. I follow. When you don't know nothing, it's like paradise. I know what that is. It's after you're dead and you go up to heaven and sit with the angels.
-Does it hurt?
-Of course it hurts. What does it look like?
-They don't come cheap, son. These little honeys are works of art. Rolled by hand in a tropical climate, most likely by an eighteen year old girl in a thin cotton dress with no underwear on. Little beads of sweat forming in her naked cleavage. The smooth, delicate fingers nimbly turning out one masterpiece after another...
-And how much are these?
-Seventy-eight dollars. The girl who rolled these was probably wearing panties.
-And these?
-Fifty-six. That girl had on a corset.
-And these?
-Forty-four. They're on special this week from the Canary Islands. A real bargain.
-I think I'll take them.
-A good choice. You wouldn't want to celebrate the birth of your firstborn with a box of stinkers, would you? Remember to keep them in the refrigerator until you hand them out.
-The refrigerator?
-It'll keep them fresh. If they get too dry, they'll break. And you don't want that to happen, do you? Tobacco is a plant, and it needs the same loving care you'd give an orchid.
-Thanks for the tip.
-Any time. And congratulations to you and your wife. Just remember, though, in the immortal words of Rudyard Kipling: "A woman is just a woman, but a cigar is a smoke.
-What does that mean?
-Is your name Paul Benjamin?
-What can I do for you?
-I just want to know what your game is, mister, that's all.
-How the hell did you get into the building?
-What do you mean, how'd I get in? I pushed the door and walked in. What do you think?
-The damn lock's broken again. And so you just barge in on strangers, is that what you do? Is that your game?
-I'm looking for my nephew, Thomas.
-Thomas? Who's Thomas?
-Don't give me any of that. I know he's been here. You can't fool me, mister.
-I'm telling you. I don't know anyone named Thomas.
-Thomas Cole. Thomas Jefferson Cole. My nephew.
-You mean Rashid?
-Rashid? Rashid! Is that what he told you his name was?
-Well, whatever his name is, he's not here anymore. He left two days ago, and I haven't heard from him since.
-And what was he doing here in the first place? That's what I want to know. What's a man like you messing around with a black boy like Thomas for? Are you some kind of pervert, or what?
-Look, lady, that's enough. If you don't calm down. I'm going to throw you out. Do you hear me? Right now!
-I just want to know where he is.
-As far as I know, he went back to his parents.
-His parents? Is that what he told you? His parents?
-That's what he said. He told me he lived with his mother and father on East Seventy-fourth Street.
-I always knew that boy had an imagination, but now he's gone and made up a whole new life for himself. Do you mind if I sit down? He's been living with me and his uncle Henry since he was a baby. And we don't live in Manhattan. We live in Boerum Hill. In the projects.
-He doesn't go to the Trinity School?
-He goes to John Jay High School in Brooklyn.
-And his parents?
-His mother's dead, and he hasn't seen his father in twelve years.
-I shouldn't have let him go.
-Which brings me back to my original question. What was he doing here in the first place?
-I was about to get run over by a car, and your nephew pulled me back. He saved my life. I sensed he was in trouble, so I offered to put him up for a few days. Maybe I should have pressed him a little more, I don't know. I feel pretty stupid about it now.
-He's in trouble, all right. But I don't have any idea what it is.
-Do you want something to drink? A beer? A glass of water?
-No thank you.
-Has anything happened lately? Anything unusual or unexpected?
-Well, one thing I suppose, but I don't think it has anything to do with this. A friend of mine called about two weeks ago and said she'd spotted Thomas's father working at some gas station outside of Peekskill.
-And you told your nephew about it?
-I figured he had a right to know.
-And?
-And nothing. Thomas looked at me straight in the eye and said, "I don't have a father. As far as I'm concerned, that son-of-a-bitch is dead."
-His father walked out on his mother a couple of months after he was born. Louisa was Henry's younger sister, and she and the baby moved in with us. Four or five years go by, and then one day Cyrus shows up out of the blue, tail between his legs, wanting to patch things up with Louisa. I thought Henry was going to tear
-You mean she just ran off with him and left her little boy behind?
-Don't put words in my mouth. What I'm saying is she drove off in Cyrus's car and went to the Five-Spot Lounge with him for a drink. What I'm saying is that he imbibed too much in the way of alcohol and that when they finished their little talk three hours later and got back in the car, he was in no shape to
-Jesus.
-Jesus had nothing to do with it. If He'd been involved. He would have seen to it that things worked out the opposite from what they did.
-It can't have been easy on him. Walking around with that on his conscience all these years.
-No, I don't suppose it has. He was broken up like nobody's business in that hospital when he found out Louisa was dead.
-And he's never tried to get in touch with his son?
-You going to sit here all day?
-I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
-Why don't you pick some other spot? It gives a man the creeps to be stared at all morning.
-It's a free country, isn't it? As long as I'm not trespassing on your property. I can stay here till kingdom come.
-Let me give you some useful information, son. There's two dollars and fifty-seven cents in that cash register over there and considering all the time you've put in casing the joint so far, you won't make but about fifty cents an hour for all your pains. However you slice it, that's a losing proposition.
-I'm not going to rob you, mister. Do I look like a thief?
-I don't know what you look like, boy. As far as I can tell, you sprouted up like a mushroom in this spot last night. You live in this town -- or on your way from here to there?
-Just passing through.
-Just passing through. A lonesome traveler with a knapsack on his back plops himself across from my garage to admire the view. There's other places to roam, kid, that's all I'm saying. You don't want to make a nuisance of yourself.
-I'm working on a sketch. That old garage of yours is so rundown, it's kind of interesting.
-It's rundown, all right. But drawing a picture won't improve the way it looks. Let's see what you did, Rembrandt.
-It'll cost you five bucks.
-Five bucks! You mean you're going to charge me five bucks just to look at it?
-Once you look at it, you're going to want to buy it from me. That's guaranteed. And that's the price: five bucks. So if you're not willing to spring for it, you might as well not bother to look. It'll just tear you up inside and make you miserable.
-Son-of-a-bitch. You're some piece of work, aren't you?
-I just tell it like it is, mister. If I'm getting on your nerves, though, you might want to think about hiring me.
-Do you have eyes in your head, or are those brown things bulging out of your sockets just marbles? You've been sitting here all day, and how many cars have you seen drive up and ask for gas?
-Not a one.
-Not a one. Not one customer all day. I bought this broken-down shit-hole of a place three weeks ago, and if business don't pick up soon, I'm going straight down the skids. What do I want to be hiring someone for? I can't even pay my own wages.
-It was just a thought.
-I'll tell you what. You want to work. I'll give you a job. Nothing permanent, mind you, but that upstairs room over there -- the one above the office -- is a hell of a mess. It looks like they've been throwing junk in there for twenty years, and it's time it got cleaned up.
-What's your offer?
-Five bucks an hour. That's the going rate, isn't it? It's a quarter past two now. My wife's picking me up at five-thirty, so that'll give you about three hours. If you can't finish today, you can do the rest tomorrow.
-Is there a benefits package, or are you hiring me on a freelance basis?
-Benefits?
-You know, health insurance, dental plan, paid vacation. It's not fun being exploited. Workers have to stand up for their rights.
-I'm afraid we'll be working on a strictly freelance basis.
-Five dollars an hour? I'll take it.
-The name is Cyrus Cole.
-I don't mean to be nosy, but I was wondering what happened to your arm.
-An ugly piece of hardware, isn't it? I'll tell you what happened to my arm. I'll tell you what happened. Twelve years ago, God looked down on me and said, "Cyrus, you're a bad, stupid, selfish man. First of all, I'm going to fill your body with spirits, and then I'm going to put you behind the wheel of a car, and then I'm
-And have you mended them?
-I don't know. I try. Every day I keep on trying, but it's no easy task for a man to change his nature. I'm off the booze, though. Haven't had a drop in six years. And now I've got me a wife. Doreen. Best damned woman I've ever known. And a little boy, too. Cyrus Junior. So things have definitely improved since I got
-You named the kid after yourself, huh?
-It's only temporary. On a freelance basis.
-And this one, in case you haven't guessed, is Junior.
-Hi there, little brother.
-That's funny. His name is the same as yours.
-Well, you and Junior have the same name, too, don't you?
-Yeah, but he's my son. Nothing strange about that. He's my own flesh and blood. But here you got the same name as this man here, and you're not even the same color.
-Thomas.
-Paul. Rashid. Thomas. Which one is it?
-Thomas Cole. My name is Thomas Jefferson Cole.
-I don't like this. I don't like it one bit.
-Louisa Vail. Remember her, Cyrus?
-Yeah? Who is it?
-Well?
-Well what?
-Aren't you going to say anything?
-What do you want me to say?
-I don't know. Hello, Mom. Hello, Dad. Something like that.
-Be nice, sweetie. We're just here to help you.
-You can do whatever you want with your own life. We're thinking of the baby, that's all. We want you to get yourself cleaned up for the baby. Before it's too late.
-Baby? And what baby is that?
-Your baby. The baby you're carrying around inside you.
-Yeah, well, there ain't no baby in there now. You dig? There's nothing in there now.
-What are you talking about?
-I'll tell you why they're not going anywhere.
-Yeah? And why is that?
-Okay, joke about it. I don't give a shit.
-Jesus, Tommy, it ain't science, you know. You got your good trades and your bad trades. That's how it works.
-Sure. He's the guy who threw his cloak down over the puddle.
-Of course there's gonna be a war. You think they'd send five hundred thousand troops over there just to lie in the sun? I mean, there's plenty of beach, but not a hell of a lot of water. Half a million soldiers. It ain't no seaside holiday, you can bet on that.
-Hey, Jimmy. You got the time?
-Huh?
-You still have that watch Auggie gave you?
-Tick-tock, tick-tock.
-So what's the time?
-Watch out, man. You'll get yourself killed like that.
-I can't believe I did that ... Christ. I'm walking around in a fog ...
-No harm done. Everything's okay now. I've got to be going.
-No, wait. You can't just walk off. You saved my life.
-I just happened to be there. The right place at the right time.
-I owe you something.
-It's okay, mister. No big deal.
-Yes it is. It's a law of the universe. If I let you walk away, the moon will spin out of orbit ... pestilence will reign over the city for a hundred years.
-Well, if you put it that way...
-You have to let me do something for you to put the scales in balance.
-That's all right. If I think of something, I'll send my butler over to tell you.
-Come on. At least let me buy you a cup of coffee.
-I don't drink coffee. On the other hand, since you insist, if you offered me a cold lemonade. I wouldn't say no.
-Good. Lemonade it is. I'm Paul.
-Are you sure you don't want some food to go along with it? It might help to absorb some of that liquid. You don't want to slosh around too much when you stand up.
-That's okay. I've already had lunch.
-You must eat lunch pretty early. It's only eleven o'clock.
-I mean breakfast.
-Yeah, sure, and I bet you had lobster last night. Along with two bottles of champagne.
-Just one bottle. I believe in moderation.
-Look, kid, it's okay with me. You don't have to play games. If you want a hamburger or something, go ahead and order it.
-Well, maybe just one. To be polite.
-Mostly what.
-You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I might be able to help.
-You don't know me from a hole in the wall.
-That's true. But I also owe you something, and I'm not sure that buying you a hamburger is going to do the job. What is it? Family problems? Money problems?
-Oh no. Momsie and Popsie have oodles.
-And where do Momsie and Popsie live?
-East Seventy-fourth Street.
-In Manhattan?
-Of course. Where else?
-Then what are you doing in Park Slope? It's a little far from home, isn't it?
-That's where the what comes in.
-The what?
-The what. I've kind of run away from home, you see. It has nothing to do with my parents or money. I saw something I wasn't supposed to see, and for the time being it's best that I keep myself out of sight.
-Here and there. Around.
-Uh-huh. One of those cozy bed and breakfast places, probably.
-Yeah, that's right.
-Except that there's no bed, is there? And no breakfast either.
-The material world is an illusion. It doesn't matter if they're there or not. The world is in my head.
-But your body is in the world, isn't it? If someone offered you a place to stay, you wouldn't necessarily refuse, would you?
-People don't do that kind of thing. Not in New York.
-I'm not "people." I'm just me. And I do whatever I goddamn want to do. Got it?
-Thanks, but I'll manage.
-In case you're wondering, I like women, not little boys. And I'm not offering you a long-term lease -- just a place to crash for a couple of nights.
-I can take care of myself. Don't worry.
-I didn't expect to see you again.
-That's it. Just the two rooms.
-This is the first house I've been in without a TV.
-I used to have one, but it broke a couple of years ago and I never got around to replacing it. I'd just as soon not have one anyway. I hate those damn things.
-But then you don't get to watch the ball games. You told me you were a Mets fan.
-I listen on the radio. I can see the games just fine that way. The world is in your head, remember?
-Nice drawing. Did you do that?
-My father did. Believe it or not, that little baby is me.
-Yeah, I can believe it.
-It's strange, though, isn't it? Looking at yourself before you knew who you were.
-Is your father an artist?
-No, he was a schoolteacher. But he liked to dabble.
-He's dead?
-Twelve, thirteen years ago. Actually, he died with his sketch pad open on his lap. Up in the Berkshires one weekend, drawing a picture of Mount Greylock.
-Drawing's a good thing.
-Is that what you do? Draw pictures?
-Time to wake up. Hey, kid, time to wake up. Rashid! Up and out. I have to work in here. The slumber party is over.
-What time is it?
-Eight-thirty.
-Eight-thirty?
-Jesus, do you make a lot of noise. Can't you see I'm trying to work?
-I'm sorry. They just... they just slipped out of my hands.
-A little less clumsiness around here would be nice, don't you think?
-I'm a teenager. All teenagers are clumsy. It's because we're still growing. We don't know where our bodies end and the world begins.
-The world is going to end pretty soon if you don't learn fast. Look, why not make yourself useful? I'm just about out of smokes. Go around the corner to the Brooklyn Cigar Company and buy me two tins of Schimmelpenninck Medias.
-Twenty dollars is a lot of money. Are you sure you can trust me with it? I mean, aren't you afraid I might steal it?
-I'm sorry. I'm really sorry... I was trying to reach for one of the books up there ... And then, I don't know, the sky fell on top of me.
-It just won't do, will it? I go two and a half years without being able to write a word, and then, when I finally get started on something, when it looks as though I might actually be coming to life again, you show up and start breaking everything in my house. It just won't do, will it?
-I didn't ask to come here. You invited me, remember? If you want me to leave, all you have to do is say so.
-How long have you been here?
-Three nights.
-And how long did I tell you you could stay?
-Two or three nights.
-It sounds like our time is up, doesn't it?
-I'm sorry I messed up. You've been very kind to me ... But all good things have to come to an end, right?
-No hard feelings, okay? It's a small place, and I can't get my work done with you around.
-You don't have to apologize. The coast is probably clear now anyway.
-Are you going to be all right?
-Absolutely. The world is my oyster. Whatever that means.
-Do you need some money? Some extra clothes?
-Not a penny, not a stitch. I'm cool, man.
-Take good care of yourself, okay?
-Hey, it's you.
-I wanted to give you this as a token of my appreciation.
-Appreciation for what?
-I don't know. For helping me out.
-Where did you get that thing?
-I bought it. Twenty-nine ninety-five on sale at Goldbaum's TV and Radio. Well, that just about takes care of it, I guess. You'll be able to watch the ball games. You know, as a little break from your work.
-Where the hell do you think you're going?
-Business appointment. I'm seeing my broker at three o'clock.
-Cut it out, will you? Just cut it out and come back here.
-I don't have much time.
-Close the door. Sit down in that chair. Now listen carefully. Your Aunt Em came here a couple of days ago. She was sick with worry, out of her mind. We had an interesting talk about you, Thomas. Do you understand what I'm saying? Your aunt thinks you're in trouble and so do I. Tell me about it, kid. I want to hear all
-You don't really want to know.
-I don't, huh? And what makes you such an authority on what I want or don't want?
-Okay, okay. It's all so stupid. There's this guy, see. Charles Clemm. The Creeper, that's what people call him. The kind of guy you don't want to cross paths with.
-And?
-I crossed paths with him. That's why I'm trying to stay clear of my neighborhood. To make sure I don't run into him again.
-I just happened to be walking by... All of a sudden, the Creeper and this other guy come running out of this check-cashing place with masks on their faces and guns in their hands... They just about ran smack into me. The Creeper recognized me, and I knew he knew I recognized him... If the guy from the check-cashing place hadn't rushed out then
-Why don't you go to the police?
-You're joking, right? I mean, that's your way of trying to be funny, right?
-If they put this Creeper in jail, then you'd be safe.
-The man has friends. And they're not likely to forgive me if I testify against him.
-What makes you think you'll be any safer around here? It's only about a mile away from where you live.
-It might not be far, but it's another galaxy. Black is black and white is white, and never the twain shall meet.
-It looks like they've met in this apartment.
-That's because we don't belong anywhere. You don't fit into your world, and I don't fit into mine. We're the outcasts of the universe.
-Maybe. Or maybe it's the other people who don't belong.
-Let's not get too idealistic.
-Ah, coffee. Smells good.
-One sip of this stuff and your eyes will blast open.
-Thanks.
-What time did you get to bed last night?
-I don't know. Two or three. It was pretty late.
-You work too hard, you know that?
-Once a story gets hold of you, it's hard to let go. Besides, I'm making up for lost time.
-Just so you don't overdo it. You don't want to die of sleep deprivation before you finish.
-If you don't sleep, you don't dream. If you don't dream, you don't have nightmares.
-That's logical. And if you don't sleep, you don't need a bed. Saves you money, too. So what's this story you're working on, anyway?
-If I tell you, I might not be able to finish it.
-Come on, just a little hint.
-Okay, just a little hint. I can't tell you the story, but I'll tell you what gave me the idea for it.
-The inspiration.
-Yeah, right. The inspiration. It's a true story anyway, so I don't suppose it can hurt, can it?
-No way.
-All right. Listen carefully. About twenty-five years ago, a young man went skiing alone in the Alps. There was an avalanche, the snow swallowed him up, and his body was never recovered.
-The end.
-Celebrate? What for?
-It's my birthday. I'm seventeen years old as of forty-seven minutes ago, and I think I should celebrate having made it this far.
-Hey, hey. Happy birthday. Why didn't you tell me?
-I just did.
-Here we are. Rembrandt's drawings. Edward Hopper. Van Gogh's letters.
-Uh, actually, I tend to shy away from that kind of thing.
-Yes, an invitation. I apologize for springing it on you at the last minute, but Mr. Benjamin and I are attending a celebration tonight, and we would be most pleased if you chose to accompany us. Isn't that right, Mr. Benjamin?
-It's 1942, right? And he's caught in Leningrad during the siege. I'm talking about one of the worst moments in human history. Five hundred thousand people died in that one place, and there's Bakhtin, holed up in an apartment, expecting to be killed any day. He has plenty of tobacco, but no paper to roll it in. So he takes the pages of a
-His only copy?
-His only copy. I mean, if you think you're going to die, what's more important, a good book or a good smoke? And so he huffed and he puffed, and little by little he smoked his book.
-Nice try. You had me going for a second, but no ... no writer would ever do a thing like that. Would he?
-I don't know.
-Is it yours?
-Yeah, it might be.
-So you're saying it wasn't like that at all.
-Not exactly. I mean, there was more to it than I told you.
-Christ. You didn't just see what happened. They dropped the package on the ground and you picked it up.
-Yeah, I picked it up.
-And started to run.
-And started to run.
-Good thinking.
-That's just it. I didn't think. I just did it.
-You have one hell of a knack for getting into trouble, don't you? So how much does it come to?
-Six thousand dollars. Five thousand eight hundred and fourteen dollars, to be exact.
-So you robbed the robbers, and now the robbers are after you.
-That's it. In a nutshell.
-Yeah, well, you have to be nuts to do what you did. If you want my opinion, you should give this money back to the Creeper. Just give it back and tell him you're sorry.
-No way. There's no way I'm giving that money back. It's my money now.
-A lot of good it will do you if the Creeper finds you.
-That money is my whole future.
-So you lost the job. Is that what you're telling me? He just up and fired you?
-It was more complicated than that. There was a reason.
-Well?
-It wasn't my fault.
-If you don't tell me what happened, how do you expect me to know that? I need facts, not opinions.
-Cuban cigars. You mean he had some hanky-panky going with those guys?
-I suppose so. He never told me about it.
-No wonder he was angry.
-Here's what you're going to do. You're going to open up your backpack, take out your bag of money, count out five thousand dollars, and hand it over to Auggie.
-What are you talking about? You can't be serious.
-I'm serious, all right. You've got to square it with Auggie. Since you won't give the money back to the Creeper, you can use it to make things right with Auggie. That's probably better anyway. Better to keep your friends than to worry about your enemies.
-I'm not going to do it.
-You'll do it, all right. You fuck up, you've got to undo the damage. That's how it works, buster. If you don't do it, I'm going to throw you out of here. Do you understand me? If you don't pay Auggie what you owe him. I'm finished with you.
-I pay Auggie, and I've got nothing. Eight hundred bucks and a ticket to Shit City.
-Fuck you, too, you white son-of-a-bitch.
-Hi, kid.
-Wow. They sure did a job on you.
-We came here to deliver some clean laundry.
-If it doesn't make any difference, why not just say it?
-Like it or not, Cyrus, that's my name. Cole. Just like yours.
-Yeah, give him another one. And I'll take a cup of coffee while you're at it.
-Hot coffee or iced coffee?
-Do you have real iced coffee, or do you just pour hot coffee over some ice cubes?
-I'll take the iced coffee. You only live once, right?
-If you're lucky. Then again, it depends on what you call living.
-How do you want that cooked?
-Medium rare, please.
-Fries?
-Yes, please.
-Lettuce and tomato?
-Yes, please.
-Don't know how long it's take to get a charge...
-Seven acres. I'm wonderin' what you'd pay for 'em. Just curious, is all.
-The battery's in, that's done with. Besides, you'd do the same for m...
-I am a bastard. I'm a big Hun Nazi son of a bitch. And I still got your bamboo fishing rod.
-Oh, yeh?
-$1200 an acre, that's what I paid Ole, won't take a dime less. You got no choice on that.
-So the blood on the gaff was not fish blood at all. It was <u>human</u>, yes? Type B positive.
-But you can't say with any certainty that the blood was his.
-No, but as I say, the type is rare. Ten percent of Caucasian males.
-And the blood could <u>not</u> have belonged to defendant. Seeing that his type is O negative.
-That's obvious.
-Bits of blood and wood. What else would there be?
-No bits of bone, no particles of scalp, no strands of hair?
-None.
-Well, if the blood got <u>onto</u> the gaff by crushing a man's skull...
-I don't know.
-With no bone or scalp or hair present. Would it be more probable that the blood came from crushing a man's skull...
-I'm a hemotologist, not a detective.
-Him and his folks and two brothers and two sisters worked our land. Lived in a picker's cabin at first.
-So the defendant knew the deceased, your son, even then.
-But back in '34, Japanese-born could not <u>own</u> land. So...?
-Carl held it <u>for</u> 'em. Called it a lease. They make payments every June and December...
-Why? If they could never take title.
-Now defendant's father had also died by that point. Where was the defendant? When you sent his family their equity.
-And when he came home. Did he write you about this? Or phone, perhaps.
-What do you mean by 'dirty looks'?
-Well. Every time I see him in town or somewhere, he's starin' at me with these narrow eyes. Givin' me his mean face.
-When your son came back from the war, what did he say about all this?
-That he'd keep an eye on Miyamoto. Watch out for him.
-Just three questions. The Miyamoto family bought your seven acres for $4500?
-Tried to. Defaulted on their payments.
-Second question. What did Ole Jurgensen pay you per acre?
-A thousand.
-So that makes what would have been $4500 into $7000, doesn't it? If you sent the equity back, you had a profit of $2500.
-Is that your third question?
-It is.
-Now, Mister Gi...
-Now if you wanted to kill a man. Think you'd try boarding against his will, and hitting him with a fishing gaff?
-It's a joke. Maneuver up to Carl's boat? Tie your lines fast? Come aboard? All against Carl's will? It's the stupidest suggestion I ever heard of.
-So the fishing gaff method wouldn't make sense?
-Now the sheriff believed that the D-6 battery in Carl's well was Carl's own spare. Even though it was too large f...
-Boat has two batteries. Lose one you run off the other til morning. Carl musta lost both, so Miyamoto there gave him one a his.
-Course, if Carl lost both batteries, dead in the water, his radio wouldn't work. So how would he signal for help?
-Compressed air horn, most likely. Hope to God some man hears you in that fog.
-You mean Miyamoto followed him out there, and sucker-punched him?
-Well, what if?
-Thank you, Mr. Gillanders. Thank you for coming down, in this cold weather.
-I said 'excited'. Not agitated, he was excited in the sense of being overjoyed.
-You were...overjoyed yourself, to hear the news?
-Happy for him. And relieved.
-We hear how Carl...passed away. Only a few hours later.
-Your husband returned at, what, seven o'clock?
-Closer to eight.
-You thought the deceased might... break his promise?
-Of course not. We're just not quick to run and boast. In case something went wrong.
-Yes, and then, what was there to call about? Everything was up in the air.
-We discussed that. And decided not to.
-Because the facts could be misconstrued as murder.
-Trials aren't only about truth, Mr. Hooks. Even though they should be. They're about what people <u>believe</u> is true.
-So you hid the truth. Deliberately.
-We were afraid. Silence seemed better. To come forward seemed like a mistake.
-Doesn't it seem to <u>you</u>, Mrs. Miyamoto, that your mistake was in being deceitful? Concealing information during the course of a sheriff's investigation.
-Question withdrawn, you may step down.
-You're implying th...
-He's still got a good grip. We need to dig more.
-I told myself that was good. That it made our friendship special. And didn't mean she was ashamed of it. Necessarily.
-The best part was that there was a 'this'. To debate the wrongness of.
-Your friends would. Your dad would kill me with a machete.
-My mom. Would be the problem.
-I can just feel my spirits soar.
-There can't be any wrong in this, Ha...
-My father can't get our money from the bank. We have a few dol...
-It's just Pearl Harbor. People are a little crazy, right n...
-We all expect the world to be fair. As if we have some right t...
-I couldn't say anything. I just stood there, hating her.
-I'm sorry about your arm. Kabuo and I. Are very sor...
-I'm married, Ishmael. It isn't right for us to be alone. People will t...
-You have to hear this, I can never touch you, Ishmael. Not once, not ever. There's no half- way. As much as I know it hurts you, you have to let this go.
-Did you write that column?
-I did. But the jury won't s...
-You don't believe in God anymore.
-I felt Milholland's report in my pocket. And wondered why I wasn't telling her. Telling someone. What I'd found.
-They only arrested that poor soul because he's Japanese.
-They're not his neighbor, like you are. He is a husband, a father, he risked his <u>life</u> for <u>their</u> country. The same as you.
-Your father fought at Belleau Wood, it took him years to get over it. Nightmares, tears, b...
-They were Japanese-American boys, yes sir.
-And you were generally experienced in training men for hand-to-hand combat.
-It was my specialty, sir, I trained several thousand over the years.
-So. Wide cross-section of men to evaluate. And the day that the defendant volunteered for this... demonstration. Did you find him eager?
-Well, what then, sergeant?
-And your evaluation of the defendant? Could he kill a much larger man with a fishing gaff? So quickly, there would be no sign of struggle?
-And you weren't there, when the coroner examined the wound.
-So, no...immediate suspicion, no...general talk of enmity between the two.
-...comes off third cleat from the stern, port side. And it's brand new. Unlike the rest.
-And the next one...?
-From Carl Heine's boat. All his were like this one, three-strand manila, new condition, braided in loops. Not bowlined like Miyamoto's.
-And the last...?
-So if defendant had tied up to deceased's boat. With that last one. Would those cleats have lined up?
-You bet. And if Miyamoto there had been in a hurry to cast off, he coulda left this line behind on Carl's boat.
-And replaced it later with the new one. That's your inference?
-...so when the sheriff returned, you showed him the injury to the deceased's head.
-Did you say more?
-I said that if I was playing Sherlock Holmes...I'd maybe look for a... Japanese person. With a bloody gun- butt. A right-handed fella, to be precise.
-Well, I was a doctor in the Jap theater, in the war. I saw those kendo wounds, <u>many</u> times. Looked exactly like this one.
-Could you tell me what 'kendo' is?
-As peculiar as a struggle between a 235 pound man, and an assailant strong enough to subdue him...that leaves only a <u>single</u> overturned <u>cup</u> in its wake?
-Objection, asking the witness to speculate.
-Objection. Asking witness to speculate about deceased's state of mind.
-You're a hard man to trust, sir. You sit before us, with no expression, keeping a poker f...
-Your Honor, <u>all</u> of this is speculation. Including Mr. Hooks' dramaturgy about the defendant issuing a false distress call.
-Maybe it went. Where Carl went. Over the side.
-<u>Everything</u> had to happen <u>just</u> right. For your little story to fly. I mean, a blond hair could be on that gunnel for a <u>lot</u> of reasons.
-Well, the freighter. The twine. The blood. The knife. The cup. The watch. The second battery. The phantom lantern. The fishing gaff. The cracked gunnel. The skull wound. The blond hair. That's <u>eleven</u> things...
-And since you confess this is all pure guesswork. What is your expertise, sir, are you a detective of sorts?
-Then putting them together. So truth is revealed.
-But isn't the <u>truth</u> that there are <u>several</u> other ways to explain <u>each</u> of these twelve pieces.
-Your line of work. You must meet a lot of men play fast and loose with the truth.
-Greedy.
-I asked you a question, you're writing a tract, h...
-And I wouldn't blame these good people if they were a mite resent- ful. At a tactic that insults their intelligence.
-That's curious. I was <u>appealing</u> to their intelligence.
-<u>Were</u> you, sir? Can you <u>prove</u> one word of all your fancy story?
-Robbed. He was angry.
-Mr. Jurgensen. Did he offer to <u>buy</u> the seven acres from you?
-Oh, yeh. But this is nine year ago, I had my healt, I wasn't wantin' to sell.
-And then your stroke came this summer. And you put your property on the market, I believe you said September 7. Which, remember, is <u>eight</u> days before Carl Heine died. And who comes Spetember 7, wanting to buy?
-But Carl was a fisherman. And successful at it.
-As my wife testified, we were considering it.
-Sheriff said right off, I was under suspicion. I didn't have a lawyer...
-Yes. Initially.
-I should have told everything right away. I know that now, and I regret it.
-My apologies. Do you regret not telling the truth?
-I have told the truth.
-I see. Now what happened the day Carl Heine was found? Before your arrest.
-I slept til one-thirty, when my wife woke me up with the news. We talked for a few hours. I left at six and went straight to my boat.
-Didn't go anywhere else? No errands, no purchases? Just straight to the boat. That's the truth.
-Well, the sheriff found <u>two</u> batteries in your well. If you left one with Carl Heine, how is that possible?
-You have the night watch? On the radio.
-And you keep the records, or contribute to 'em.
-How long you have this detail?
-You mean, early morning the 16th?
-They got transferred that day. Out to Cape Flattery.
-I did. Boy.
-You said three minutes.
-Never shoulda given you that inventory in the first place.
-Here now, what are you fixin' to do?
-You gonna climb that with one arm?
-It's on the twine, too. But it's not r...
-It's the way it happened, I know it is.
-This tastes horrible, hmmn?
-You're wondering why I held it.
-Your daddy. Was quite a feller.
-He's looking down. And he's not thinking 'bout the man you were yesterday. He's proud of the man you are tonight. That's what counts.
-Tell us why that lantern would be so significant.
-Now you believe there were <u>two</u> lanterns when defendant arrived. One in Carl's hand. The second lashed to the mast.
-That's what Mr. Miyamoto reported, and he'd have no reason to lie. He couldn't know that it would help his case.
-Well, why does it?
-That's when he fell.
-Miyamoto gave him the battery, and left. Carl's boat was running, he goes back to fishing. But at some point, he thinks of the lantern...
-Still lashed to the mast.
-He figures a perfectly good lantern could get banged around up there. So he climbs up. To cut it down.
-Just as the freighter comes through? Isn't that quite a coincidence?
-Coincidences happen. You run a yellow light <u>just</u> as a car comes out of nowhere. Split-second tragedy happens every day. Or maybe...
-Maybe...?
-Maybe Carl picks up something about the freighter on his radio, which is now working. Same report Milholland heard. And <u>that</u> makes him get the lantern fast. Before the freighter's wake can bang it around.
-But you <u>could</u> be wrong. He <u>could</u> have climbed up earlier.
-Then where's the lantern? And where's the knife?
-Still a coincidence. Timing and all.
-Still and all. Carl was a strong swimmer, he m...
-You think so?
-The sheriff and the deputy and I inspected the deck closely. We found a small fracture in the wood of the gunnel. Just below the mast.
-Cigarette?
-If I whistle. Those boys'll see you, and come runnin'. <u>You're</u> the story today.
-You ever been strangled by a single hand?
-We don't let go, you s...
-What for, Sheriff?
-You always run with the well open?
-See you replaced a mooring line, lately. This one's new.
-Naw, I had that around for a while.
-You gaff with the <u>hook</u> end. Blood's on the butt. Where your hand goes.
-Sheriff, I can't afford not to fish toni...
-What makes you think I play?
-White or black?
-You must think I like losing.
-Bet there's a few things you could teach me. Kendo, for one.
-You wouldn't even see it move.
-Now this jury is gonna be lookin' at the evidence with one eye. And at you with the oth...
-So every time you think about showing that jury strength. Or honor or composure. Or dignity.
-And what's that?
-I'm more a hot-blooded killer, huh? Like a soldier. Like a samurai.
-You want me to say that.
-You think that <u>is</u> the truth.
-I told your wife. Trials aren't always so much about actual truth. As about what folks <u>believe</u> is true. That's sad. And it's real.
-Maybe the assailant straightened the cabin. And forgot the cup.
-Right. In the middle. Of the floor.
-I think you testified <u>all</u> the lights were on. Cabin, mast, net lights, picking lights...
-Yessir, there'd been real heavy fog.
-And yet you started the engine right up. With all those lights drawing all night, the batteries had that much charge. Did that strike you odd?
-Didn't think about it at the time. So no, it didn't strike me odd.
-Does it now?
-A little. Yes. You have to wonder.
-You found three batteries, you say. A D-6 and D-8 in the well. And a spare D-8 on the cabin floor. Correct?
-It is.
-Now I did some measuring down at the chandlery. A D-6 is one inch wider than a D-8. It would be too large for the deceased's well.
-He's done some on-the-spot refit- ting. You could see the side flange was banged away to make room for the D-6.
-But he had a spare D-6, you said. Right there. Why not use that?
-Sheriff, how many batteries and what size did you find on <u>defendant's</u> boat?
-Two D-6's. That's the kind his well was fitted for.
-No spare.
-No.
-So the defendant went out fishing for the night with <u>no</u> spare battery, hmmn?
-Apparently.
-I believe so.
-Is it possible his head struck the transom, or the stern gunnel, or the net roller, as you were bringing him in?
-I don't think so.
-You don't. <u>Think</u> so.
-He was heavy, but we were real careful. But I don't remember him hitting anything, anywhere.
-Operating this winch you'd rarely operated before, doing this awkward job of bringing in a drowned man of 235 pounds...is it <u>possible</u>. Possible that he struck his head <u>after</u> death. Possible?
-How <u>is</u> your mother-in-law?
-She's alright, Nels, thanks for asking.
-And her farmhouse...?
-One D-6 and one D-8 in the well. And a dead D-8 on the deck.
-Which you inferred was replaced by the D-6, which must have been a spare.
-What else could it be?
-Even though a D-6 is too big, and the flange had to be banged out to squeeze it in. Which makes it a peculiar choice. For a spare.
-So this...foam you found in the lungs. How does it get there?
-That's <u>why</u> the autopsy report identifies <u>drowning</u> as the cause of death.
-Meaning that he wasn't murdered first, say on the deck of the boat, and then thrown overboard.
-Well...
-In your motorcycle example. Those injuries are produced by the head being propelled <u>against</u> an object. Rather than the reverse, yes?
-Obviously.
-Can you tell whether an object moved against the head, or the other way around? Or would both look the same.
-The same.
-So if his head struck something narrow and flat, the gunnel of a boat, a net roller, a fairlead, could that have...
-If the head was moving fast enough, but I don't see how it could be.
-Is it possible?
-Sure, anything's poss...
-Is it fair to say that you do not know for <u>certain</u> which it was.
-I already said that, b...
-For certain, no.
-But you are <u>certain</u> that he died by drowning.
-Can I say something, here?
-Yes, you can tell me about the minor cut you found on the deceased's right hand. The report says 'recent origin'. How recent? As much as 24 hours before death?
-Are you absol...
-So your husband said he's think it over. Encouraged Mr. Miyamoto to believe he might sell to h...
-I wouldn't say encouraged.
-Well, he didn't say 'no', did he? Didn't say no hope existed.
-Not in those words.
-I guess you'd have to guess. Not having been there with them. Having to guess whether your husband's report was word for word accurate.
-Carl never lied.
-Those 'dirty looks'. Defendant ever aim one of those at you?
-He had no reason to.
-Carl ever say <u>he</u> got one?
-I can't speak for him.
-Sorry about that, Mrs. Heine. Shall I repeat the ques...
-The question is more about the <u>defendant's</u> attitu...
-Improved...how?
-As I said, in every way. Physically and psychologically. More endurance, quicker responses, better hand-eye, improved technical training. Where the First Psychology gave you ninety-eight percent obedience, this bunch gives you 99.4.
-...He used to say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
-I...see. I'm not sure I quite get your...point...
-Well, the soldiers we've got now, they've been through all kinds of heavy shit...and they've always got the job done. Now these new ones, these "hot shots" of yours...what kind of action have they seen? They <u>are</u> battle-tested, aren't they?
-That's up to you field guys. H.Q. wants you to break 'em in when you do the annual security sweep in January.
-The sweep is just routine, not even police action. I'd like to see some sort of...meaningful evidence...
-Such as?
-Melton, on the double! Up a chain! MELTON Sir! MELTON takes a few easy strides, gracefully catches a chain mid- stride, and smarts up, climbing easily and twice as fast as TODD. CHURCH, SLOAN, and RUBRICK crane their necks as the two men struggle upward toward the rafters. Three quarters of the way up, MELTON comes even with TODD, then passes him. MEKUM, watching,
-Spirit? Oh! You mean "AQ"..."aggressive qualities"?
-Are these your bags?
-Yes. And that one, too.
-Okay, doll.
-I suppose you want a tip?
-Forget it, doll. After all, you work here - I work here - and believe you me, it's nice to have you with the organization.
-Bye.
-Listen, doll - what time do you get off tonight?
-Why?
-Because I'm working the night shift - and I got a bottle of gin stashed away - and as soon as there's a lull -
-Aren't you a little too young for that, sonny?
-Wanna see my driver's license?
-Get lost, will you?
-Which of you dolls is Daphne?
-It's from Satchel Mouth at Table Seven. This is from me to you, doll.
-Beat it, Buster.
-Those idiot broads! Here we are all packed to go to Miami, and what happens? The saxophone runs off with a Bible salesman, and the bass fiddle gets herself pregnant. I ought to fire you, Bienstock.
-Hi, Mary Lou - Rosella - Okay, Dolores, get a move on - How's your back, Olga?
-Yes, Sue? What is it?
-I thought I made it clear I don't want any drinking in this outfit.
-I beg your pardon.
-You know, Bienstock, there's something funny about those two new girls.
-Funny? In what way?
-You're in Berths 7 and 7A.
-Thank you ever so.
-You're welcome.
-Upsy-daisy.
-No --- how does it go?
-Pardon me, Mr. Bienstock - can I have my flask back?
-You girls have seen a brown bag with a white stripe and my initials?
-A what?
-This a private clambake, or can anybody join?
-Okay.
-- so the one-legged jockey said -
-What did he say?
-Cut it out, girls. Stop it. Joe - Josephine - help!
-Say, boss - I been talking to some of the other delegates - and the word is that Little Bonaparte is real sore about what happened to Toothpick Charlie. Him and Charlie, they used to be choir boys together.
-Stop, or I'll burst out crying.
-He even got Charlie's last toothpick - the one from the garage - and had it gold-plated.
-Same faces - same instruments - - and here's your Valentine's card.
-Those two musicians from the garage!
-What happened?
-Me and Tiny, we had them cornered - but we lost 'em in the shuffle.
-Say, Joe - tonight's the night, isn't it?
-I'll say.
-I mean, we get paid tonight, don't we?
-Because I lost a filling in my back tooth. I gotta go to the dentist tomorrow.
-Dentist? We been out of work for four months - and you want to blow your first week's pay on your teeth?
-It's just a little inlay - it doesn't even have to be gold -
-How can you be so selfish? We owe back rent - we're in four eighty-nine bucks to Moe's Delicatessen - we're being sued by three Chinese lawyers because our check bounced at the laundry - we've borrowed money from every girl in the line -
-You're right, Joe.
-Of course I am.
-First thing tomorrow we're going to pay everybody a little something on account.
-No we're not.
-We're not?
-First thing tomorrow we're going out to the dog track and put the whole bundle on Greased Lightning.
-You're going to bet my money on a dog?
-He's a shoo-in. I got the word from Max the waiter - his brother-in-law is the electrician who wires the rabbit -
-What are you giving me with the rabbit?
-Look at those odds - ten to one. If he wins, we can pay everybody.
-But suppose he loses?
-What are you worried about? This job is going to last a long time.
-But suppose it doesn't?
-Suppose Mary Pickford divorces Douglas Fairbanks?
-Hey, Joe!
-Suppose Lake Michigan overflows?
-Well, that solves one problem. We don't have to worry about who to pay first.
-Quiet - I'm thinking.
-Of course, the landlady is going to lock us out - Moe said no more knackwurst on credit - and we can't borrow any more from the girls, because they're on their way to jail -
-Shut up, will you? I wonder how much Sam the Bookie will give up for our overcoats?
-Sam the Bookie? Nothing doing! You're not putting my overcoat on that dog!
-I told you - it's a sure thing.
-But we'll freeze - it's below zero - we'll catch pneumonia.
-Greased Lightning! Why do I listen to you? I ought to have my head examined!
-I thought you weren't talking to me.
-Yeah - where were you?
-With you.
-With me?
-Don't you remember? He has this bad tooth - it got impacted - the whole jaw swole up -
-It did? Boy, did it ever!
-So I had to rush him to the hospital and give him a transfusion... Right?
-Right. We have the same blood type...
-Nellie told us about it.
-You mean it's a girls' band?
-No. And he ain't been eating so good, either. He's got an empty stomach and it's gone to his head.
-But, Joe - three weeks in Florida! We could borrow some clothes from the girls in the chorus -
-You've flipped your wig!
-Now you're talking! We pick up a couple of second-hand wigs - a little padding here and there - call ourselves Josephine and Geraldine -
-All the way to Urbana - for a one night stand?
-It's a hundred miles, Joe - it's snowing - how are we going to get there?
-We could've had three weeks in Florida - all expenses paid. Lying around in the sun - palm trees - frying fish...
-We didn't see anything - - did we?
-I think they got me.
-They got the bull-fiddle.
-You don't see any blood?
-Where are we running, Joe?
-As far away as possible.
-You going to call the police?
-The police? We'd never live to testify. Not against Spats Colombo. Wabash 1098.
-We got to get out of town. Maybe we ought to grow beards.
-We are going out of town. But we're going to shave.
-Shave? At a time like this? Those guys got machine guns - they're going to blast our heads off - and you want to shave?
-How can they walk on these things? How do they keep their balance?
-And it's so drafty. They must be catching colds all the time.
-Quit stalling. We'll miss the train.
-I feel so naked. Like everybody's looking at me.
-It's no use. We'll never get away with it, Joe.
-Who are we kidding? Look at that - look how she moves - it's like jello on springs - they must have some sort of a built-in motor. I tell you it's a whole different sex.
-What are you afraid of? Nobody's asking you to have a baby. This is just to get out of town. The minute we hit Florida, we'll blow this set-up.
-My name is Josephine.
-DAPHNE?
-Hello, everybody. I'm the bass fiddle. Just call me Daphne.
-How about that talent? This is like falling into a tub of butter.
-Watch it, Daphne!
-When I was a kid, I used to have a dream - I was locked up in this pastry shop overnight - with all kinds of goodies around - jelly rolls and mocha eclairs and sponge cake and Boston cream pie and cherry tarts -
-Not there - that's the emergency brake.
-Now you've done it!
-Done what?
-Tore off one of my chests.
-You'd better go fix it.
-This way, Daphne.
-I changed it. It used to be Sugar Kowalczyk.
-Bye, Sugar. We been playing with the wrong bands.
-Down, Daphne!
-Forget it. One false move, and they'll toss us off the train - there'll be the police, and the papers, and the mob in Chicago...
-Boy, would I like to borrow a cup of that Sugar.
-Look - no butter, no pastry, and no Sugar!
-Men?
-Oh, you don't have to worry about that.
-Steady, boy. Just keep telling yourself you're a girl.
-What are you doing?
-I just want to make sure that honey stays in the hive. There'll be no buzzing around tonight.
-But suppose I got to go - like for a drink of water?
-Fight it.
-But suppose I lose? Suppose it's an emergency?
-Good night, Daphne.
-What's going on here? Daphne - Daphne -
-It's not my fault. I didn't invite them.
-Male and female - the moth and the flame - I ought to slug you!
-What happened?
-I got pinched in the elevator.
-Well, now you know how the other half lives.
-And I'm not even pretty.
-They don't care - just as long as you wear skirts. It's like waving a red flat in front of a bull.
-I'm tired of being a flag. I want to be a bull again. Lets get out of here, Joe. Let's blow.
-Blow where?
-You promised - the minute we hit Florida, we were going to beat it.
-How can we? We're broke.
-We can get a job with another band. A male band.
-Listen, stupid - right now Spats Colombo and his chums are looking for us in every male band in the country.
-But this is so humiliating.
-So you got pinched in the elevator. So what? Would you rather be picking lead out of your navel?
-All right, all right! But how long can we keep this up?
-What's the beef? We're sitting pretty. We get room and board - we get paid every week - there's the palm trees and the flying fish -
-What are you giving me with the flying fish? I know why you want to stick around - you're after Sugar.
-Me? After Sugar?
-I watched you two on the bus - lovey-dovey - whispering and giggling and borrowing each other's lipstick -
-What are you talking about? Sugar and me, we're just like sisters.
-Yeah - let her soak. Come on.
-What is it, young lady? What are you staring at?
-You - you -
-I heard a very sad story about a girl who went to Bryn Mawr. She squealed on her roommate, and they found her strangled with her own brassiere.
-He's not only got a yacht, he's got a bicycle.
-You know - the old shell game.
-Wise guy, huh? Trying to louse me up -
-I'm a push-over for whom? What is it? Who's on the phone?
-Yes, Mr. Fielding - you'll pick her up after the show in your motorboat - goodbye - what's that you said? Oh - zowie! I'll give her the message.
-What message? What motorboat?
-You got it made, kid. Fielding wants you to have a little cold pheasant with him on his yacht -
-Oh, he does!
-Just the three of you on that great big boat - you and him and Rudy Vallee.
-Fat chance! You call him right back and tell him I'm not going.
-Of course, you're not. I'm going.
-You're going to be on the boat with that dirty old man?
-No. I'm going to be on that boat with Sugar.
-And where's he going to be?
-He's going to be ashore with you.
-With ME?
-That's right.
-Daphne - your boy friend is waving at you.
-You can both go take a flying jump.
-Come on, you can do better than that. Give him teeth - the whole personality.
-Why do I let you talk me into these things? Why?
-Because we're pals - buddies - the two musketeers.
-Don't give me the musketeers! How'm I going to keep the guy ashore?
-Tell him you get seasick on a yacht. Play miniature golf with him.
-What are you doing with my flowers?
-Hi, Jerry. Everything under control?
-Have I got things to tell you!
-What happened?
-I'm engaged.
-Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
-I am.
-WHAT?
-Osgood proposed to me. We're planning a June wedding.
-What are you talking about? You can't marry Osgood.
-You think he's too old for me?
-Jerry! You can't be serious!
-Why not? He keeps marrying girls all the time!
-But you're not a girl. You're a guy! And why would a guy want to marry a guy?
-Security.
-Jerry, you'd better lie down. You're not doing well.
-Look, stop treating me like a child. I'm not stupid. I know there's a problem.
-I'll say there is!
-His mother - we need her approval. But I'm not worried - because I don't smoke.
-Jerry - there's another problem.
-Like what?
-Like what are you going to do on your honeymoon?
-We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera - but I sort of lean toward Niagara Falls.
-You're out of your mind! How can you get away with this?
-Oh, I don't expect it to last. I'll tell him the truth when the time comes.
-Like when?
-Like right after the ceremony.
-Oh.
-Then we'll get a quick annulment - he'll make a nice settlement on me - I'll have those alimony checks coming in every month -
-Jerry, listen to me - there are laws - conventions - it's just not being done!
-But Joe - this may be my last chance to marry a millionaire!
-Look, Jerry - take my advice - forget the whole thing - just keep telling yourself you're a boy!
-I'm a boy - I'm a boy - I wish I were dead - I'm a boy - I'm a boy - What am I going to do about my engagement present?
-Hey - these are real diamonds.
-Naturally. You think my fiance is a bum? Now I guess I'll have to give it back.
-That's some nerve!
-I feel like such a tramp - taking jewelry from a man under false pretenses.
-It's just going to break his heart when he finds out I can't marry him.
-So? It's going to break Sugar's heart when she finds out I'm not a millionaire. That's life. You can't make an omelette without breaking an egg.
-What are you giving me with the omelette?
-Nag, nag, nag. Look, we got a yacht, we got a bracelet, you got Osgood, I've got Sugar - we're really cooking.
-Joe -
-I tell you, Joe, they're on to us. They're going to line us up against the wall and - Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh - and then the police are going to find two dead dames, and they're going to take us to the ladies' morgue, and when they undress us - I tell you, Joe, I'm just going to die of shame.
-Shut up and keep packing.
-Not that, you idiot.
-Joe, if we get out of this hotel alive, you know what we're going to do? We're going to sell the bracelet, and grab a boat to South America and hide out in one of those banana republics - The way I figure is, if we eat nothing but bananas, we can live there for fifty years - maybe a hundred years - that
-There's our shaving stuff - and there's Sugar.
-Sugar?
-Get me Room 414.
-Telephone call? Who's got time for that?
-We can't just walk out on her without saying goodbye.
-Since when? Usually you leave 'em with nothing but a kick in the teeth.
-That's when I was a saxophone player. Now I'm a millionaire.
-Drop her a postcard. Any minute now those gorillas may be up here -
-Hello, my dearest darling. So good to hear your voice again.
-I don't know about the captain - but the navigator is getting his tail out of here.
-Wait a minute - my bracelet. What happened to my bracelet?
-What do you mean, your bracelet? It's our bracelet.
-All right. What happened to our bracelet?
-Don't worry. We did the right thing with it.
-What did we do? Joe, you're not pulling one of your old tricks.
-You crazy or something? The place is crawling with mobsters - gangrene is setting in - and you're making like Diamond Jim Brady! How are we going to get out of here? How are we going to eat?
-We'll walk. And if we have to, we'll starve.
-All right - so what do we do now?
-Did you hear that?
-What'll I tell him?
-Tell him you're going to elope with him.
-Elope? But there are laws - conventions -
-It's all fixed! Osgood is meeting us on the pier -
-OH!
-Terribly sorry.
-That's us. I'm Daphne - and this is Josephine.
-She sings, too.
-We'll take a rain check.
-Are my seams straight?
-I'll say.
-Good night, Sugar.
-Good night, honey.
-Oh - Sugar!
-I wanted to thank you for covering for me. You're a real pal.
-It's nothing. I just think us girls should stick together.
-If it hadn't been for you, they would have kicked me off the train. I'd be out there in the middle of nowhere, sitting on my ukulele.
-It must be freezing outside. When I think of you - and your poor ukulele -
-If there's anything I can do for you -
-And that's one of them.
-I don't want her to know we're in cahoots.
-We won't tell anybody - not even Josephine.
-I'd better stay here till she goes back to sleep.
-Stay as long as you'd like.
-I'm not crowding you, am I?
-No. It's nice and cozy.
-When I was a little girl, on cold nights like this, I used to crawl into bed with my sister. We'd cuddle up under the covers, and pretend we were lost in a dark cave, and were trying to find out way out.
-Interesting.
-Anything wrong?
-No, no.
-Why you poor thing - you're trembling all over.
-That's ridiculous.
-And your head is hot.
-That's ridiculous.
-And you've got cold feet.
-Isn't that ridiculous?
-I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl -
-What did you say?
-I'm a very sick girl.
-Maybe I'd better go before I catch something.
-I'm not that sick.
-I have a very low resistance.
-Look, Sugar, if you feel you're coming down with something, the best thing is a shot of whiskey.
-You got some?
-You all right?
-I'm fine.
-How's the bottle?
-I tell you - this is the only way to travel.
-You better put on the lights. I can't see what I'm doing.
-No - no lights. We don't want anyone to know we're having a party.
-I may spill something.
-So spill it. Spills, thrills, laughs, games - this may even turn out to be a surprise party.
-What's the surprise?
-Uh-uh. Not yet.
-When?
-We better have a drink first.
-Here. This'll put hair on your chest.
-Who needs vermouth?
-And bring the cocktail shaker.
-Not you, Sugar.
-I'll carry the instruments.
-Here you are, Sugar.
-A bunch of us girls are going for a swim. Want to come along?
-See? She doesn't have one either - You don't?
-Oh, I have some suntan lotion.
-What do you think you're doing?
-You know, Daphne - I had no idea you were such a big girl.
-You should have seen me before I went on a diet.
-I mean, your shoulders - and your arms -
-That's from carrying around the bull fiddle.
-But there's one thing I envy you for.
-What's that?
-Come on, Sugar - time to change for dinner.
-Run along, Daphne - I'll catch up with you.
-I recognized him too - his picture was in Vanity Fair.
-His yacht?
-It sleeps twelve. This is my friend Daphne. She's a Vassar girl.
-I'm a what?
-Oh, please do come. Don't disappoint us. It'll be such fun. And bring your yacht.
-Well, I'll be - ! How about that guy?
-Now look, Daphne - hands off - I saw him first.
-Sugar, dear - let me give you some advice. If I were a girl - and I am - I'd watch my step.
-If I'd been watching my step, I never would have met him. Wait till I tell Josephine.
-Yeah - Josephine.
-Will she be surprised. I just can't wait to see her face -
-We don't have to run.
-Josephine -
-I guess she's not in here.
-That's funny. Josie - I can't imagine where she can be.
-Well, I'll come back later.
-No, no, Sugar - wait. I have a feeling she's going to show up any minute.
-Believe it or not - Josephine predicted the whole thing.
-Yeah. This is one for Ripley.
-Do you suppose she went out shopping?
-Oh, come on - you can do better than that.
-What do you mean, maybe? I saw the way he looked at you. He'll be there for sure.
-I hope so.
-No!
-Yes. He wants me to have supper with him - on his yacht - he's going to pick me up at the pier.
-No!
-I thought I heard voices - and I just had to talk to somebody. I don't feel like going to sleep.
-Did he get fresh?
-Of course not. As a matter of fact, it was just the other way around. You see he needs help.
-What for?
-How did you get that bracelet?
-You like it?
-I always did.
-Junior gave it to me. It must have at least thirty stones -
-Thirty-four.
-He's going to South America to marry some other girl - that's what they call high finance.
-Brand new.
-Where did you girls play before?
-How did those holes get there?
-Didn't you girls say you went to a conservatory?
-Yes. For a whole year.
-I was it.
-What's the big idea?
-It's about the Florida job.
-What's wrong with us?
-We could pass for that.
-- you got to be blonde -
-We could dye our hair.
-- and you got to be girls.
-Yes, I'm holding on.
-Wait a minute, Joe. Lets talk this over. Why couldn't we do it? Last year, when we played in that gypsy tearoom, we wore gold earrings. And you remember when you booked us with that Hawaiian band? Grass skirts!
-Hello, Mr. Morris? This is Poliakoff, in Chicago. Say, you wouldn't have a couple of girl musicians available? A sax player and a base?
-Just a moment, miss - May I?
-Help yourself.
-I am Osgood Fielding the Third.
-If there is one thing I admire, it's a girl with a shapely ankle.
-Me too. Bye now.
-Let me carry one of the instruments.
-It certainly is delightful to have some young blood around here.
-Personally, I'm Type O.
-You know, I've always been fascinated by show business.
-You don't say.
-Yes, indeed. It's cost my family quite a bit of money.
-You invest in shows?
-No - it's showgirls. I've been married seven or eight times.
-You're not sure?
-Mama is keeping score. Frankly, she's getting rather annoyed with me
-I'm not surprised.
-So this year, when George White's Scandals opened, she packed me off to Florida. Right now she thinks I'm out there on my yacht - deep-sea fishing.
-If I promise not to be a naughty boy - how about dinner tonight?
-Sorry. I'll be on the bandstand.
-Oh, of course. which of these instruments do you play?
-Bull fiddle.
-Fascinating. Do you use a bow or do you just pluck it?
-Most of the time I slap it.
-You must be quite a girl.
-Wanna bet?
-My last wife was an acrobatic dancer - you know, sort of a contortionist - she could smoke a cigarette while holding it between her toes - Zowie! - but Mama broke it up.
-Why?
-Goodbye, Mr. Fielding.
-Goodbye?
-This is where I get off.
-Please. It won't happen again.
-But it's such a waste - a full moon - an empty yacht -
-I'll throw up!
-Well, I'll be - ! He does have a bicycle.
-Who?
-About that roadhouse -
-They got a Cuban band that's the berries. Why don't we go there - blindfold the orchestra - and tango till dawn?
-You know something, Mr. Fielding? You're dynamite!
-Daphne...
-Yes, Osgood?
-You're leading again.
-This is my friend Josephine - she's going to be a bridesmaid.
-Pleased to meet you.
-Another bridesmaid?
-I called Mama - she was so happy she cried - she wants you to have her wedding gown - it's white lace.
-Osgood - I can't get married in your mother's dress. She and I - we' not built the same way.
-We can have it altered.
-Oh, no you don't! Look, Osgood - I'm going to level with you. We can't get married at all.
-Why not?
-Well, to begin with, I'm not a natural blonde.
-It doesn't matter.
-And I smoke. I smoke all the time.
-I don't care.
-And I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.
-I forgive you.
-And I can never have children.
-We'll adopt some.
-But you don't understand! I'm a MAN!
-This is her roommate. Daphne can't talk right now. Is it anything urgent?
-Well, it is to me. Will you give her a message? I'd like her to have a little supper with me on my yacht after the show tonight.
-The New Caledonia. That's the name of it. The Old Caledonia went down during a wild party off Cape Hatteras. But tell her not to worry - this is going to be a quiet little midnight snack - just the two of us.
-Just the two of you? What about the crew?
-Oh, that's all taken care of. I'm giving them shore leave. We'll have a little cold pheasant - and champagne - and I checked with the Coast Guard - there'll be a full moon tonight - oh, and tell her I got a new batch of Rudy Vallee records -
-Don't I know you two from somewhere?
-We're just a couple of musicians - we come to pick up a car - Nellie Weinmeyer's car - there's a dance tonight - Come on, Jerry.
-Wait a minute. Where do you think you're going?
-To Urbana. It's a hundred miles.
-I don't like no witnesses.
-We won't breathe a word.
-I don't mean to be forward - but ain't I had the pleasure of meeting you two broads before?
-Anything today?
-Oh, it's you! You got a lot of nerve -
-Now look, Nellie - if it's about last Saturday night - I can explain everything.
-Oh?
-Nellie baby, I'll make it up to you.
-You're making it up pretty good so far.
-What's the job?
-Please, Jerry - that's no way to talk. Nellie baby - what are you doing tonight?
-Why?
-Because I got some plans -
-I'm not doing anything. I just thought I'd go home and have some cold pizza -
-And you'll be in all evening?
-Yes, Joe.
-Good! Then you won't be needing your car.
-Hey, Sig - can we talk to you?
-What are you - a couple of comedians? Get out of here! Long distance? Get me the William Morris Agency in New York.
-You need a bass and a sax, don't you?
-The wrong shape? You looking for hunchbacks or something?
-It's not the backs that worry me.
-What kind of band is this, anyway?
-No, we couldn't!
-Look, if you boys want to pick up a little money tonight - At the University of Illinois they are having - you should excuse the expression - a St. Valentine's dance.
-We'll take it!
-Well, here we are.
-You two from the Poliakoff Agency?
-Hey, Sheboygan - you two - what was your last job - playing square dances?
-No - funerals.
-We got it second-hand.
-We got time off for good behavior.
-Tell what?
-Yes. I come from a very musical family. My mother is a piano teacher and my father was a conductor.
-Where did he conduct?
-On the Baltimore and Ohio.
-Oh.
-Running away? From what?
-We understand.
-Put it here.
-Sugar, you're going to get yourself into a lot of trouble.
-If Bienstock catches you again - What's the matter with you, anyway?
-I'm not very bright, I guess.
-I wouldn't say that. Careless, maybe.
-No, just dumb. If I had any brains, I wouldn't be on this crummy train with this crummy girls' band.
-Then why did you take this job?
-I used to sing with male bands. But I can't afford it any more.
-Afford it?
-Have you ever been with a male band?
-Me?
-That's what I'm running away from. I worked with six different ones in the last two years. Oh, brother!
-Rough?
-I'll say.
-You can't trust those guys.
-I can't trust myself. The moment I'd start with a new band - bingo!
-Bingo?
-You see, I have this thing about saxophone players.
-Really?
-Especially tenor sax. I don't know what it is, but they just curdle me. All they have to do is play eight bars of "Come to Me My Melancholy Baby" - and my spine turns to custard, and I get goose-pimply all over - and I come to them.
-That so?
-Every time!
-You know - I play tenor sax.
-But you're a girl, thank goodness.
-Yeah.
-That's why I joined this band. Safety first. Anything to get away from those bums.
-Yeah.
-You don't know what they're like. You fall for them and you love 'em - you think it's going to be the biggest thing since the Graf Zeppelin - and the next thing you know they're borrowing money from you and spending it on other dames and betting on the horses -
-You don't say?
-Then one morning you wake up and the saxophone is gone and the guy is gone, and all that's left behind is a pair of old socks and a tube of toothpaste, all squeezed out.
-Men!
-So you pull yourself together and you go on to the next job, and the next saxophone player, and it's the same thing all over again. See what I mean? - not very bright.
-Brains aren't everything.
-You know I'm going to be twenty-five in June?
-You are?
-That's a quarter of a century. Makes a girl think.
-About what?
-About the future. You know - like a husband? That's why I'm glad we're going to Florida.
-What's in Florida?
-Millionaires. Flocks of them. They all go south for the winter. Like birds.
-Going to catch yourself a rich bird?
-Oh, I don't care how rich he is - as long as he has a yacht and his own private railroad car and his own toothpaste.
-You're entitled.
-Maybe you'll meet one too, Josephine.
-Yeah. With money like Rockefeller, and shoulders like Johnny Weismuller -
-I want mine to wear glasses.
-Glasses?
-Men who wear glasses are so much more gentle and sweet and helpless. Haven't you ever noticed?
-Well, now that you've mentioned it -
-Happy days.
-What's happened?
-Okay, Sugar - all clear. You better go back to bed.
-I might as well stay in there. I won't be able to sleep anyway.
-Why not?
-Bienstock. He snores to beat the band. We cut cards to see who sleeps over him, and I always lose. Wouldn't you know?
-Want to switch berths with me?
-Would you mind terribly?
-Thanks, honey.
-Well, there they are - more millionaires than you can shake a stick at.
-I'll bet there isn't one of them under seventy-five.
-I wish they'd put us in the same room.
-414 - that's the same room number I had in Cincinnati - my last time around with a male band. What a heel he was.
-Saxophone player?
-What else? And was I ever crazy about him. Two in the morning, he sent me down for knackwurst and potato salad - they were out of potato salad, so I brought coleslaw - so he threw it right in my face.
-Forget it, Sugar, will you? Forget about saxophone players. You're going to meet a millionaire - a young one.
-What makes you so sure?
-Wait a minute, Daphne. You haven't got a bathing suit.
-Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
-My fault.
-You're not hurt, are you?
-I don't think so.
-I wish you'd make sure.
-Why?
-Because usually, when people find out who I am, they get themselves a wheel chair and a shyster lawyer, and sue me for a quarter of a million dollars.
-Well, don't worry. I won't sue you - no matter who you are.
-Thank you.
-Who are you?
-Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
-Not very likely.
-Are you staying at the hotel?
-Not at all.
-Your face is familiar.
-Possible you saw it in a newspaper - or magazine - Vanity Fair -
-That must be it.
-Would you mind moving just a little? You're blocking my view.
-Your view of what?
-They run up a red-and-white flag on the yacht when it's time for cocktails.
-Which one is yours - the big one?
-Certainly not. with all that unrest in the world, I don't think anybody should have a yacht that sleeps more than twelve.
-I quite agree. Tell me, who runs up that flat - your wife?
-No, my flag steward.
-And who mixes the cocktails - your wife?
-No, my cocktail steward. Look, if you're interested in whether I'm married or not -
-I'm not interested at all.
-Well, I'm not.
-How's the stock market?
-Up, up, up.
-I'll bet just while we were talking, you made like a hundred thousand dollars.
-Could be. Do you play the market?
-No - the ukulele. And I sing.
-For your own amusement?
-Well - a group of us are appearing at the hotel. Sweet Sue and Her Society Syncopators.
-You're society girls?
-Oh, yes. Quite. You know - Vassar, Bryn Mawr - we're only doing this for a lark.
-Syncopators - does that mean you play that fast music - jazz?
-Yeah. Real hot.
-Oh. Well, I guess some like it hot. But personally, I prefer classical music.
-So do I. as a matter of fact, I spent three years at the Sheboygan Conservatory of Music.
-Good school! And your family doesn't object to your career?
-They do indeed. Daddy threatened to cut me off without a cent, but I don't care. It was such a bore - coming-out parties, cotillions -
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-- Inauguration balls -
-- opening of the Opera -
-- riding to hounds -
-- and always the same Four Hundred.
-You know, it's amazing we never ran into each other before. I'm sure I would have remembered anybody as attractive as you.
-You're very kind. I'll bet you're also very gentle - and helpless -
-I beg your pardon?
-You see, I have this theory about men with glasses.
-What theory?
-Maybe I'll tell you when I know you a little better. What are you doing tonight?
-Tonight?
-I thought you might like to come to the hotel and hear us play.
-I'd like to - but it may be rather difficult.
-Why?
-I only come ashore twice a day - when the tide goes out.
-Oh?
-It's on the account of the shells. That's my hobby.
-You collect shells?
-Yes. So did my father and my grandfather - we've all had this passion for shells - that's why we named the oil company after it.
-Shell Oil?
-Would you mind moving along, please?
-Well, I guess I'd better go -
-It's been delightful meeting you both.
-And you will come to hear us tonight?
-Josephine.
-The most wonderful thing happened -
-What?
-Guess!
-One of whom?
-Shell Oil, Junior. He's got millions - he's got glasses - and he's got a yacht.
-Well, he's young and handsome and a bachelor - and he's a real gentleman - not one of these grabbers.
-Maybe you'd better go after him - if you don't want to lose him.
-Oh, I'm not going to let this one get away. He's so cute - collects shells.
-Anyway, you're going to meet him tonight.
-I am?
-I guess he's not going to show up - it's give minutes to one - you suppose he forgot?
-Well, you know how those millionaires are. These came for you.
-You heard her - yes.
-Been waiting long?
-Thank you. And thank you for the flowers.
-I wanted them to fly down some orchids from our greenhouse but all of Long Island is fogged in.
-I seem to be out of gas.
-I just got this motorboat - it's an experimental model.
-Looks like they're on the wrong track.
-Do you mind riding backwards? It may take a little longer -
-It looked so small from the beach - but when you're on it, it's more like a cruiser - or a destroyer.
-Just regulation size. We have three like this.
-Three?
-Mother keeps hers in Southampton - and Dad took his to Venezuela - the company is laying a new pipe line.
-My dad is more interested in railroads. Baltimore and Ohio. Which is the port and which is the starboard?
-Well, that depends - on whether you're coming or going - I mean, normally the aft is on the other side of the stern - and that's the bridge - so you can get from one side of the boat to the other - how about a glass of champagne?
-Love it. Which way?
-Oh, you have an upstairs and a downstairs.
-Oh - in here.
-It's exquisite - like a floating mansion.
-It's all right for a bachelor.
-What a beautiful fish.
-Caught him off Cape Hatteras.
-What is it?
-Oh - a member of the herring family.
-A herring? Isn't it amazing how they get those big fish into those little glass jars?
-Champagne?
-I don't mind if I do.
-Down the hatch - as we say at sea.
-Look at all that silverware.
-Trophies. You know - skeet-shooing, dog-breeding, water polo...
-Water polo - isn't that terribly dangerous?
-I'll say. I had two ponies drowned under me.
-Where's your shell collection?
-Yea, of course. Now where could they have put it? On Thursdays, I'm sort of lost around here.
-What's on Thursdays?
-It's the crews' night off.
-You mean we're alone on the boat?
-Completely.
-You know, I've never been completely alone with a man before - in the middle of the night - in the middle of the ocean.
-Oh, it's perfectly safe. We're well anchored - the ship is in shipshape - and the Coast Guard promised to call me if there are any icebergs around.
-It's not the icebergs. But there are certain men who would try to take advantage of a situation like this.
-You're flattering me.
-Well, of course, I'm sure you're a gentleman.
-Oh, it's not that. It's just that I'm - harmless.
-Harmless - how?
-Well, I don't know how to put it - but I have this thing about girls.
-What thing?
-They just sort of leave me cold.
-You mean - like frigid?
-It's more like a mental block. When I'm with girls, it does nothing to me.
-Have you tried?
-See? Nothing.
-Nothing at all?
-Complete washout.
-That makes me feel just awful.
-Oh, it's not your fault. It's just that every now and then Mother Nature throws somebody a dirty curve. Something goes wrong inside.
-You mean you can't fall in love?
-Not anymore. I was in love once - but I'd rather not talk about it. How about a little cold pheasant?
-What happened?
-I don't want to bore you.
-Oh, you couldn't possibly.
-Well, it was my freshman year at Princeton - there was this girl - her name was Nellie - her father was vice-president of Hupmobile - she wore glasses, too. That summer we spent our vacation at the Grand Canyon - we were standing on the highest ledge, watching the sunset - suddenly we had an impulse to kiss - I took off my
-Oh, no!
-Yes. Eight hours later they brought her up by mule - I gave her three transfusions - we had the same blood type - Type O - it was too late.
-Talk about sad.
-Ever since then - numb - no feelings. Like my heart was shot full of novocaine.
-You poor, poor boy.
-Yes - all the money in the world - but what good is it? Mint sauce or cranberries?
-How can you think about food at a time like this?
-What else is there for me?
-Is it that hopeless?
-My family did everything they could - hired the most beautiful French upstairs maids - got a special tutor to read me all the books that were banned in Boston - imported a whole troupe of Balinese dancers with bells on their ankles and those long fingernails - what a waste of money!
-Have you ever tried American girls?
-Is that anything?
-Maybe if you saw a good doctor...
-I have. Spent six months in Vienna with Professor Freud - flat on my back - - then there were the Mayo Brothers - and injections and hypnosis and mineral baths - if I weren't such a coward, I'd kill myself.
-Don't talk like that. I'm sure there must be some girl some place that could -
-Would you do me a favor?
-What is it?
-I may not be Dr. Freud or a Mayo Brother or one of those French upstairs girls - but could I take another crack at it?
-Anything this time?
-I'm afraid not. Terribly sorry.
-Would you like a little more champagne? And maybe if we had some music - - how do you dim these lights?
-You're not giving yourself a chance. Don't fight it. Relax.
-It's like smoking without inhaling.
-Well - ?
-I got a funny sensation in my toes - like somebody was barbecuing them over a slow flame.
-I think you're on the right track.
-I never knew it could be like this.
-Thank you.
-They told me I was caputt - finished - washed up - and now you're making a chump out of all those experts.
-Mineral baths - now really!
-Where did you learn to kiss like that?
-Good night.
-Good morning.
-How much do I owe the Milk Fund so far?
-Eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
-Oh, no. I'm off that stuff - for good.
-Did you have a nice time?
-Gee, I wish I'd been there.
-Really?
-From a rich millionaire.
-That's wonderful. Poor Josephine.
-Me?
-That's funny - I never slept better. And I had the most wonderful dream. I was still on the yacht, and the anchor broke loose - and we drifted for days and days - you were the captain and I was the crew - I kept a lookout for icebergs, and I sorted your shells, and mixed your cocktails, and wiped the steam off
-Yes. Now about our date for tonight...
-I'll meet you on the pier again - right after the show.
-I'm afraid not. I can't make it tonight.
-Tomorrow night?
-Not tomorrow, either. You see, I have to leave - something unexpected came up - I'm sailing right away.
-Where to? South America? Oh. That is unexpected.
-You see, we have those oil interests in Venezuela - and I just got a cable from Dad - the board of directors decided on a merger.
-A merger? How long will you be gone?
-Quite a while. As a matter of fact, I'm not coming back at all.
-You're not?
-It's all rather complicated - what we call high finance - but it so happens that the president of the Venezuelan syndicate has a daughter, and -
-Oh - that kind of a merger. Is she young? Pretty?
-According to our tax advisers, she's only so-so. But - that's the way the oil gushes. A man in my position has a certain responsibility to the stockholders - all those little people who invest their life savings -
-Oh, of course. I understand. At least, I think I do.
-I only wish there were something I could do for you.
-But you have. You've given me all that inside information - first thing tomorrow I'm going to call my broker and have him buy fifty thousand shares of Venezuelan oil.
-Yes, they're here. Oh - white orchids. Would you believe it - I haven't had white orchids since I was a debutante. What's this?
-What's what? Oh, that. just a little going away present.
-Real diamonds. They must be worth their weight in gold. Are you always this generous?
-Not always. But I want you to know I'm very grateful for what you did for me.
-Oh. The navigator just came in - we're ready to cast off.
-Well, anchors aweigh, you have a bon voyage. And if you need an orchestra to play at your wedding, we'll be through here in a couple of weeks.
-What's the matter, Sugar?
-Daphne -
-He was the first nice guy I ever met in my life - and the only one who ever gave me anything.
-You'll forget him, Sugar.
-Sugar! What do you think you're doing?
-You don't want me, Sugar - I'm a liar and a phony - a saxophone player - one of those no-goodnicks you've been running away from -
-I know. Every time!
-Do yourself a favor - go back where the millionaires are - the sweet end of the lollipop - not the cole slaw in the face and the old socks and the squeezed-out tube of toothpaste -
-Good evening, sir.
-I come to the old lady's funeral.
-I don't believe I've seen you at any of our services before.
-That's because I've been on the wagon.
-PLEASE!
-Where are they holding the wake? I'm supposed to be one of the pallbearers.
-What'll it be, sir?
-Booze.
-Sorry, sir, we only serve coffee.
-Coffee?
-Scotch coffee, Canadian coffee, sour-mash coffee...
-Haven't you got another pew - not so close to the band? How about that one?
-Better bring the check now - in case the joint gets raided.
-Who's going to raid a funeral?
-Okay, Spats - the services are over. Lets go.
-Go where?
-A little country club we run for retired bootleggers. I'm gonna put your name up for membership.
-I never join nothin'.
-You'll like it there. I'll have the prison tailor fit you with a pair of special spats - striped!
-Big joke. Who's the rap this time?
-Embalming people with coffee - eighty-six proof.
-Me? I'm just a customer here.
-Come on, Spats - we know you own this joint. Mozarella is just fronting for you.
-Mozarella? Never heard of him.
-We got different information.
-From who? Toothpick Charlie, maybe?
-You're wasting the taxpayers' money.
-If you want to, you can call your lawyer.
-Well, Spats Colombo - if I were saw one.
-Hello, copper. What brings you down to Florida?
-I heard you opera-lovers were having a little rally - so I thought I better be around in case anybody decides to sing.
-Big joke!
-Say, Maestro - where were you at three o'clock on St. Valentine's Day?
-Me? I was at Rigoletto.
-What's his first name? And where does he live?
-That's an opera, you ignoramus.
-Where did they play it - in a garage on Clark Street?
-Clark Street? Never heard of it.
-Ever hear of the DeLuxe French Cleaners on Wabash Avenue?
-Why?
-Because the day after the shooting you sent in a pair of spats - they had blood on them.
-I cut myself shaving.
-You shave with your spats on?
-I sleep with my spats on.
-Quit kidding. You did that vulcanizing job on Toothpick Charlie - and we know it.
-You and who else?
-Me and those two witnesses whom your lawyers have been looking for all over Chicago.
-All right, Charlie - this the joint?
-Yes, sir.
-And who runs it?
-I already told you.
-Refresh my memory.
-Spats Colombo.
-That's very refreshing. Now what's the password?
-I come to Grandma's funeral. Here's your admission card.
-Thanks, Charlie.
-If you want a ringside table, tell 'em you're one of the pall bearers.
-Look, Chief - I better blow now, because if Spats Colombo sees me, it's Goodbye Charlie.
-Hi, Spats. We was laying eight to one you wouldn't show.
-Why wouldn't I?
-We thought you was all broken up about Toothpick Charlie.
-Well, we all got to go sometime.
-Yeah. You never know who's going to be next. Okay, Spats. Report to the Sergeant- at-Arms.
-What for?
-Hello, Charlie. Long time no see.
-What is it, Spats? What do you want here?
-Just dropped in to pay my respects.
-You don't owe me no nothing.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-So now I got all those coffins on my hands - and I hate to see them go to waste.
-Too bad, Charlie. You would have had three eights. Goodbye, Charlie!
-You know what I love about all this?
-There’s finally a reason for the whole world to revolve around you?
-Perfect. All ginny.
-Except it’s Scotch.
-Did Kat tell you she dumped you because of your funky breath?
-Christ, Amy.
-Oh, shut up and be happy. It’s always this or that. You’re never happy, you frowny-faced Grumplestilskin.
-Why don’t you get my half sister her seventh hole?
-I don’t think I can go through with this.
-Pub Golf?
-Do you want to come in for a minute? We could talk about--
-When I freaked out at the pub? That was nothing, just nerves. Don’t worry about it.
-God, Kat! Please. Don’t be nice to me. I can take anything right now but you being nice to me.
-I should get going.
-Are you sure you’re okay?
-We were eating and puking together in harmony until one day, Tony walked me home from school. He was my first boyfriend. I was fourteen.
-So Tony Pee-Pants starts ignoring Kat. He wanted to play with me.
-Hey.
-You know what? I’m not having this conversation right now.
-Wow. You look beautiful.
-Fred Astaire and what’s her face!
-Sorry to interrupt. Your dad sent me.
-What for?
-You know all that “if these walls could talk” stuff? Do you believe it? That a place has a memory?
-It was such a long time ago.
-Still--
-If Ed ever found out....
-Or Kat....
-You’d better get going. My parents will be ‘round to cart you off to the country.
-Whatever you do, don’t mention Italy. Or politics. Or baby buggies. Or Edith Piaf.
-Say something. Please.
-Does Kat know?
-Jeffrey told her last night.
-Where’s Nick sleeping?
-Why, with you.
-Huh?
-Mom’s refining her strategy for DDay.
-I’m sure General Eisenhower never had to master the finer points of the seating chart and centerpieces. Oh, and tomorrow afternoon you are carpooling to the country with the Fletcher-Wootens.
-I’d be happy to. You’re welcome.
-I blame Tony Pee-Pants!
-Oh, no. She tells this story at every major holiday.
-She blames Tony Pee-Pants Pinterello for everything. The fall of the British Empire, the Cold War, the internet.
-I’m an American and in America, people sue. So to prevent a lawsuit, I baked a tart. And I don’t bake.
-What’s going on with you two?
-I was pretty hard on her last night. And now she’s getting married.
-There’s a reason I always tell that Tony Pee-Pants story, you know.
-Trust me. This is bigger than Tony Pee-Pants.
-Before Tony, you and your sister were best friends. I couldn’t split you up. If your sister ate the spinach, you ate the spinach. If you threw up--.
-Mom, please.
-Anyway, when that boy came over, it was the first time you ever did anything without her. And Amy wasn’t just jealous...she was sad and lonely. She missed you.
-She did?
-Who’s ever heard of dance lessons for a wedding, honestly?
-Um, just about everyone.
-Just because some slag’s been paid for, doesn’t mean you’ve got to...you know.
-I think I love you, mate. How do you know so much about so much?
-I thought you said you were crap.
-I had to say something to get you here.
-I’ll just check into a hotel.
-I look like a total wanker, don’t I?
-You heading to the train station?
-I figured you could pick up your car tomorrow.
-What’s his problem?
-What?
-There’s something about him that’s just a bit odd.
-Other than, he’s shagging your exgirlfriend?
-Remember when we went hiking in the lake district and Amy was wearing that little bikini thing.
-No.
-It was before you started going out. We had lunch at that inn on the lake.
-Oh, yes. Right. The Rat and Parrot.
-And Kat was fully clothed.
-But, somehow, it was Kat’s arse that was stung by nettles. And you rubbed it with a dandelion leaf.
-That’s when I realized I wanted to be a doctor.
-Oh, shut up. You’re an optician.
-I didn’t deserve her back then.
-Nothing.
-Hey.
-Ah, a philosopher.
-Shrink, actually.
-Crikey.
-What?
-Nothing, nothing.
-No, tell me.
-Hey, man.
-Sorry, can you give us a moment?
-Why, Jeffrey. Hello.
-Seeing you again....
-Hey, Kat.
-Hey, you!
-Let me guess. Amy presumed I’d forget the rings. I think I’m her least favorite person. You know, I am sorry.
-So, tell me, how’s unmarried life?
-Whoa, Jeffrey. Slow down. You and me, we’re the past. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I’m here with someone else.
-Kat, we must talk. This guy, there’s something not quite right.
-It’s called character. God, you’re predictable.
-Kat, wait. I don’t want you hating me. We’ve never had this talk. You know how crap I am at this.
-Um, news flash: I don’t give a shit.
-That was a long time ago.
-It was. And it took your sister getting married to get you back here.
-So, what’s your point?
-You were so good to me. I swear I never meant to hurt you. We were together what, five years?
-Seven if you count the on-and-off years. Which I do.
-Right. Seven. Christ, that’s a long time, isn’t it?
-Not for a dog.
-Is this supposed to be an apology?
-You’re not even listening.
-Bollocks, I’m sorry. I had no idea this would be so difficult.
-Relax. Take a breath and just say it. It’s no big deal. I promise.
-Brilliant.
-It’s the past. It’s nothing but ghosts. So just get it off your chest, then let’s go back upstairs and eat some tiramisu.
-I’m sorry?
-Hi. Hey.
-You think we look like we’re trying too hard.
-What color are my shoes?
-Don’t patronize me. They’ve clearly been at this a while.
-You’re funny.
-Mission accomplished.
-Mmm.
-Mmm, nice dress? Or mmm-- Gorgeous, I was insane to let you go!
-You know, they say you can tell everything you need to know about a person from the way they act when they’re naked.
-The Knicks game? We both wanted the last hot dog?
-Well, he looks miserable. What were you talking about?
-Jeffrey knows love like he knows macramé.
-He was pretty drunk, but I think he’s still crazy about you.
-What did he say exactly? I mean, you don’t think he wants me back?
-I don’t know.
-What does your gut say?
-No, count it, anyway.
-Why?
-Six thousand, right?
-On the nose. I tell you what, because you’re so cute, I’ll take care of our incidentals.
-How does it feel to get that much money just for being you?
-Great, with the occasional stabs of shame. Now, listen, this covers the weekend, but as we discussed, if you want to be intimate, we talk money before anything happens.
-That won’t be an issue, believe me. I find the idea of sex for money morally repugnant. No offense.
-You quitting?
-Who are they?
-What?
-It’s cute.
-What is?
-You stand on your tiptoes.
-Have you ever done anything like this before?
-A weekend?
-Not the way you’re thinking. The women wanted me there for support. You can understand that.
-Not you. You’re not disgusting. You’re lovely. Just the idea that they’d bring an escort. I mean, a stranger who, um, didn’t...who never.... I mean, someone’s dead.
-Sorry. I’m a little nervous. I never thought something like this would happen to me.
-This happened to you?
-How did you know that was me?
-I have a friend at the magazine.
-Your “friend” guaranteed my anonymity.
-Would you grab my shampoo?
-The real story is that my mother was a hippie. And a stripper. She was insanely inappropriate with me. She used to wash her lingerie in my bathwater. While I was still in the bath.
-Oh, no.
-You shit!
-I have a different story for every woman who asks. I look at her and figure out what she needs to hear to feel okay about being with me.
-And you thought I’d respond to the hippie stripper with no boundaries?
-So...what was I...oh, yeah. Do you honestly think that I want to be single and miserable? That I want to be obsessed with some asshole who led me on for years then -- out of the blue -- shattered my heart.
-Yes.
-What?!
-Are you asking me if I’m gay for pay?
-I guess so.
-There’s a guy on 81st and Madison. You get your results in 24 hours. Do you make your lovers get tested before you sleep with them?
-I love that you’re asking questions, but do you really want to get into all of this?
-Don’t stop asking questions, okay?
-I swear. I don’t have a signature move.
-Subtle?
-It’s hard to explain.
-Come on.
-Are you sure?
-Is this for last night?
-Of course not. How...how could it be? Nothing happened.
-Don’t they have a limit at those machines?
-So you’re telling me. If something had happened last night...it would have cost me fourteen hundred dollars? That’s a down payment on a Ford Focus!
-And what if I didn’t want you to...to do that to me?
-No, no. The three hundred is for you doing it to me.
-What?
-Believe me, if anything had happened, that would have been one of the highlights. For you.
-But nothing did.
-Hello, goodbye, I want you, I hate you. It’s all just words. None of it means anything. What matters is what you do. You either stay put or you walk away. If you look back, you’re not walking away!
-Oh, cut the crap!
-I just hate seeing you so stuck.
-He was about to un-stick me! I paid you to help me get closure.
-I’m sorry I was such a bitch. I really appreciate your doing this.
-You have had girlfriends?
-When I said I’d never done a wedding before, I didn’t say that no one ever asked. I just never said yes.
-So, why’d you say yes to me?
-There was something in your voice on the phone that day.
-What would you do if you weren't an escort?
-What would you do if you stopped worrying about what other people think?
-Yeah. You?
-Fourteen and he’s hoodwinked by a an erector set?
-And that’s when he peed in his pants? After the tart?
-He bled a bunch, but no, there was no peeing.
-Besides, you hired me for my discretion.
-You’ve always got that to hide behind, don’t you? It’s just business!
-You let me make a fool of myself! You lied to me! I don’t know why that surprises me because lying is what you do. It’s your job. It’s who you are. How would you even know if something were real?
-You’re right. I was so desperate to make everyone believe I was happy that I spent six grand on a lie. And after all that? The only one who ended up falling for it was me.
-Hi.
-I should go.
-What?! No, no. You can’t--
-Nice speech. I thought it was “touching”... and “funny.”
-Kat Ellis! We live two hundred miles away from each other but I have to fly all the way to London to see you. You haven’t visited me once in D.C. Where the hell have you been? I have gynecologists that call more often.
-You have more than one gynecologist?
-You didn’t have to do that.
-What’s he do anyway?
-Like fifteen.
-Oh, no. He told you.
-You knew?
-Hey, Sal.
-I heard you were back in town, kitty cat. You’re here for the highland flings, I bet.
-The one I made for you is the cherries. You hang onto it or give it back?
-Give it back? Are you nuts?
-You pawned it.
-You want I nut him in the boat?
-Yes? No. What? Save the patter for the tourists.
-You want me to let him in?
-Dad!
-Hi, kiddo.
-That’s not true. We checked for leaks a few years back. Good morning.
-So why’d you let him go?
-It’s complicated, Dad.
-Yeah.
-I’m worried. Amy’s not good at drinking. She gets sooo drunk sooo fast. Does free alcohol get you less drunk or more drunker? Is it ‘drunker’ or ‘drunker-er’?
-“Not yet...”
-I thought you were living in San Francisco. Or was it Nepal?
-I always wondered what happened with us.
-She’s drunk. -er than me. But I didn’t really dump you, did I?
-I’m guessing MacCallum, 18 years. Neat, with a water-back.
-I am now, sir.
-What is it you do again?
-What do you say to that?
-Best thing about being a dad is when your kid starts kicking your ass--
-Hey, Sigmund, you think you could rustle up the bride and tell her to join the party?
-I just wanta wash my hand. It's got blood where I hurt it.
-You don't live around here, do you?
-No, mam... I come from way back there. Me and my dog was tryin' to find my daddy and we got lost.
-Is he here in Borderdale?
-I don't know, he's in a prison camp.
-My name is Camille -- Camille Johnson and I'm the Supervisor of this school. What's your name?
-David Lee Morgan. My dog's name is Sounder. That feels better.
-You keep looking around, David. Don't you go to school?
-Sometime, but not like this.
-It's a good thing your hand did not become infected -- how did you cut it like this?
-Me and Sounder went to this prison camp to see my Daddy and the police guard runs us away and I fell on some glass.
-Did your mother know you were going to see your father?
-Uh huh...
-That does it...
-Thank you, Miss Johnson.
-You got a pretty house, Miss Johnson!
-And you say all them people is dead now?
-They lived a long time ago -- before you and I were born.
-Here it is, right here.
-That's where we come from first?
-And the other people you told me 'bout, they is all colored folk?
-Colored.
-Don't you teach in your school 'bout folk who ain't dead?
-Here's one by a man that's very much alive.
-What's his name?
-Dr. William E. B. Dubois.
-What he talk 'bout?
-You're a friendly lady, Miss Johnson.
-What about Sounder?
-Now don't you think it's time you told me all about yourself?
-Well, how did you like the class, David?
-... So me and Sounder, ran right by the men that was the prisoners, and crawled under the fence! That's when I cut my hand on the glass. It hurt like mad! But I kept runnin', and then I didn't feel no more hurtin' till I stopped runnin'! Why was that, Miss Johnson?
-Because all you could think of was getting away from the guard.
-Oh... . You right, that's all that was worryin' me right then...
-You know, that was a good thing you did for Clarence, in class today. I believed his story, but I was afraid the other children wouldn't...
-He was real scared nobody would believe him -- I could tell, even when he first stood up.
-You could? How?
-I been like that myself, when I thought nobody was gonna believe me... You wanna hear another story?!
-What are you looking at, out there? There's nothing to see.
-You think about your father a lot, don't you?
-Yes mam...
-Well, you shouldn't worry about him too much, David.
-What do I tell my mama when I get home? I didn't find him and that's what I wanted to do.
-But you did all you could, David. Not many little boys could've gone on such a journey as you did.
-But where is my daddy!?
-I can't answer that for you -- but it's no fault of your own that you don't know where your father is now. You tell me what you did that kept you from finding your father. Come on, tell me...
-Nothin'...
-And so you did your job, right?
-Yes, mam...
-Whewwww! You sure keep my mind jumping, boy!
-What do that mean?
-You know that the class is going to challenge your story, don't you, Clarence?
-Yes, Miss Johnson...
-Go on...
-How was your sister after you pulled her out of the water?
-Clarence, would you tell us a story that was not true, after telling us it was?
-No, Miss Johnson...
-Can you swim?
-:--THE STRANGE ENDINGS OF NATURE THEY HAVE SEEN, MAY GIVE THE WORLD NEW POINTS OF VIEW AND MAKE THEIR LOVING, LIVING, AND DOING PRECIOUS TO ALL HUMAN...
-:The night in the woods with his father and SOUNDER. The shouting and laughter after the baseball game --
-:...HEARTS. AND TO THEMSELVES IN THESE DAYS THAT TRY THEIR SOULS...
-:HE, JOSIE and EARL, running and playing in the field.
-:...THE CHANCE TO SOAR IN THE DIM BLUE AIR ABOVE SMOKE IS TO THEIR...
-:His visit with his father at the County Jail house --
-:...FINER SPIRITS BOON AND GUERDON FOR WHAT THEY LOSE ON EARTH BY BEING BLACK.
-I can't do it, Rita -- that's the policy here on colored prisoners, and I ain't about to change it, not even for a friend like you.
-Charlie, just because a man and his family are colored, you--
-But, Charlie --
-I see you found what you was lookin' for.
-I did look, Charlie, but I--
-No buts, Rita!
-Charlie, you have no legal right not to let this boy know where his father is! You hear that, you and this whole damn court house; what you are doing is wrong!
-Don't tell me about what's wrong. You come into my office as a friend and steal city files! I could have you arrested for that -- and if you give out that information to anybody, that's exactly what I'm going to do -- and I'll tell everybody in this town how you got the information and who you got it for! You won't have
-You would do that, wouldn't you?
-There ain't no possums in this woods tonight, Daddy.
-Looks that way, son. Guess the cold done drove most of 'em down to the big water country -- but if there's one left out here -- we gotta find him.
-It's cold, Daddy!
-If anybody's to blame, it's me -- I oughta nailed him when I took that shot.
-It was too dark, Daddy.
-Yes, sir...
-He beat you, too, Daddy, and you had a big ol' shootin' rifle.
-David Lee...
-Yes, sir...
-You had a rough time out there tonight -- so you stay home from that school tomorrow.
-I wanna go -- the trip don't bother me none.
-You learnin' anything at that school?
-Readin' must be somethin' powerful, huh, son?
-When the fall comes in these parts, the Night moon runs away like a rabbit -- you could stay out here lookin' all night, and not see a thing out yonder.
-We goin' huntin' again tomorrow ?
-Yep. I guess you must wonder why though, what with the luck we havin', but like I always say--
-"You lose some of the time, what you always go afta, but you lose all the time what you don't go afta!"
-Well, looka here...
-Hi, Daddy...
-Mama is outside with Josie Mae and Earl.
-We didn't find Sounder yet.
-He'll show up one day.
-Do you think he's dead, Daddy?
-It's a shame they won't let 'em come in here. If I had the strength I'd knock down these damn walls -- if I could just git my arms 'round your mama right now -- is they on this side of us, son?
-Can you say what camp they gon' send you to, Daddy?
-I don't know, son -- they won't tell us things like that -- but I don't want y'all to come here no more.
-Why, Daddy; you won't be here?
-What's wrong with your leg, Daddy?
-Son, that was some trip you went on...
-Where was you, Daddy?
-That musta been afta they sent me to this place call Clayburn. That was the hardest workin' camp they sent me to. The work was so hard, you had to look for somethin' to laugh about to keep from feelin' the whole pain in your body. Like one time, it was in the middle of the day, and there weren't no sun -- you
-Where did the sun go to, Daddy?
-Into the clouds and behind the mountains.
-What happened afta that?
-And me too, son! You shore done got to be such a big little man!
-We goin' huntin' again, Daddy !?
-You bet we is!
-Goodnight, Daddy...
-Daddy, you home now... that's all I want -- I don't want nothin' else...
-Mornin', son...
-Where's everybody?
-They gone to the field...
-You feel alright today, Daddy?
-Daddy, when is we goin' huntin'?
-I'm real proud of how you helped your mama to keep this place goin', David Lee.
-Wheeew! This is some hard work, but it beats goin' to jail.
-You won't be goin' to jail again, will you, Daddy?
-You hurt, Daddy!?
-From Miss Johnson --
-Dear David, if you are coming to school here, be sure to bring some warm clothes. The school term will begin September 8th, but it would be good for you to be here by the 4th or 5th of the month. I do hope everything is fine and you will be here. Give my "hello" to your family. Yours truly, Miss Camille Johnson...
-You just came back home, Daddy. I don't wanna leave right now -- I wanna stay home and be with you.
-And I wanta be with you, too, but this school is somethin' that's good for you -- somethin you need, like good air to breathe, and I want you to have it, boy, and that's the way it's gonna be!
-But, Daddy, you need me here to help you in the field -- Daddy, your leg is hurt -- you can't work like you used to. Who's gonna help you!? Who's gonna do the work, Daddy?!
-Let me tell you somethin', boy! I don't care if both of my legs was cut off! I can do more work in that field, than you could in a hundred years!
-I won't go, Daddy! I won't go!
-I love you, son! Don't ever think I don't love you! We gon' get to be friends?
-You know somethin', Daddy?
-What's that, son?
-What's your daddy's name?
-Mister, can you visit anybody here?
-Gotta wait 'til visitin' days.
-When's that?
-Sunday...
-Do you know my daddy, Nathan Lee Morgan?
-David, you never cease to amaze me at how good you are in taking care of my garden.
-Miss Boatwright --
-Yes, David...
-See you tomorrow, Miss Boatwright.
-David!
-What's in there, David!?
-He eats all right -- his throat ain't scarred.
-Then why don't he holler like he usta?
-He will... Come on, git down and act like a possum.
-I don't look like no possum!
-I guess I'll havta work harder to git him back like he usta be.
-Naw, I'm carryin' it!
-David Lee, it's time for you to get to bed!
-Mama, there's hot meat on the stove!
-That's right!
-Where did it come from, Mama?
-Ready to go, Mama!
-You got two shirts on?
-Yes mam...
-Who's winning, Mama?
-What do they do in the white churches, Mama?
-Who is they?
-Don't take my Daddy! Please don't take my Daddy!
-'Bye, Mama...
-Did you see Daddy?
-No, son. We havta wait 'til the holiday comes -- anyway, they won't let womenfolk see their men no time.
-Can I go when the holiday comes?
-Any sign of Sounder?
-No mam -- I looked all over.
-What is it, David Lee?
-Poor creature...
-Mama! Mama! Miss Boatwright, say she gon' help me find where Daddy is!
-Can't sleep?
-No, ma'am... Mama, I wanted Mrs. Boatwright to find out where Daddy is, so me and Sounder can go see him.
-So did I. I figured when the time got right, we could all take a day or two and walk up there, but it's not the kind of long trip for a child to take alone.
-I can do it, Mama -- you know that. In the Bible stories you read to us, everybody's always goin' on a long journey. Jacob goes into a strange land where his uncle is and he don't even know where he lives, but he finds him. Everybody finds what they supposed to find.
-But you'll be away from home for days -- what will you do when the dark comes, where will you sleep? I can't send you away from here like that!
-Mama, don't I always do what you say -- every time I go to the fields to plant the corn, to Miss Boatwright's and the woods -- you tell me what to do and I do it, and you don't worry.
-Can I go day after tomorrow?
-Yes, son. You better get back to bed.
-Good night, Mama...
-I wish you wouldn't take the dog with you, David -- he's likely to be a burden to you.
-Here's your food -- now you go straight to that place -- if you need to rest, go into a church or railroad station -- but don't go into nobody's house, you hear me?
-Yes, mam...
-I cut it on some glass and we got lost, Mama.
-Did you find your father?
-Didn't see 'im, Mama. The other men there say they didn't know Daddy.
-What's that you carryin'?
-Some books Miss Johnson gave me.
-Who's Miss Johnson?
-So when I left, she gave me these books.
-Miss Johnson must be a real kindly lady.
-She is, Mama... When the fall comes, she wants me to come to her school.
-How can you do that? You don't live anywhere near that school.
-She says I can come live with her while school goin' on, and come back home every time there ain't no school.
-What's wrong with him, David?
-It's the heat.
-It's when the heat is so bad, dogs go crazy.
-What's wrong, Nathan?
-Be good and be smart, little boy.
-We brought your laundry, Miss Boatwright.
-This is for your mama's work, and here's something for the three of you.
-It's about the Three Musketeers.
-Thank you, Miss Boatwright.
-When you read it we'll talk about it...
-Yes mam... We gotta go, Miss Boatwright.. .
-Would you like to have a cool drink, David?
-I'll find out where your daddy is for you.
-Thank you, Miss Boatwright!
-You know where my father is, don't you, Miss Boatwright?
-No, he was wrong, David, I didn't find out.
-But I saw you -- you looked in there, and you found out, Miss Boatwright.
-If I tell you I didn't, David, that's what I mean.
-But, Miss Boatwright, you--
-Come, I'll take you home.
-I'll walk...
-Don't pout now, David, it's a long trip.
-Hello, David...
-If they heard me sing like this up North I'd be richer than the man I sharecrop for.
-You know, one time by mistake I went into a white church down in Row County and to this day I don't know how'n the devil I got outta that church alive.
-They probly thought you was crazy.
-I guess so -- but I went home and did me some praying to the Lord. I said, Lord, I went into this white church down in Row and all I want you to tell me is how I ever got outta there in one piece.
-What did the Lord tell you, Ike?
-Hi ya doin' there, Ike?
-Any time it's Saturday and I don't hafta do any work, I'm doin' okay!
-Whatcha got there?
-Seems this piece of mail came to Mr. Howard's place this mornin' and he had me to bring it over here.
-Well, let me have it.
-Don't take all day at that table, David Lee.
-Mama, when kin me and Earl go to school with David Lee?
-Mama, why did they take Daddy away?
-Because he cared so damn much about you and me, child.
-Is he gon' be gone long?
-Mama, what was we laughin' for?
-Rebecca, you jest the one I wanta see.
-That's one dollar an' twenty cents.
-I wanta get some things.
-I hope it ain't a lot,'cause I can't give you no more credit till the croppin' season gits back, that is if Na--
-I didn't say nothin' 'bout credit, Mr. Howard.
-Whatcha wanta order?
-Dammit, I'm talkin' to you, woman! I gotta farm to think about and I need answers.
-Hi ya, Rebecca...
-Tired.
-Somebody told me Nathan was back. How is he?
-Night, son!
-I bet you could use a hot cup of coffee, Nathan Lee.
-The boy done went into my walnuts! I skin my fingers to the bone to pick two pounds that's worth almost nothing at the commissary and he done took almost half of what I pick!
-We been through these off-seasons before -- we made it.
-Good mornin', Nathan.
-Mornin'...
-You ready to eat?
-How's the weather out there?
-Little chilly.
-If there ever was a devil in this county, Ike, you is it!
-The most important thing is that you're home! We was gonna have cold eatin' tonight, 'cause of the heat, but now, I'm goin' to cook!
-What did he want?
-To invite you to his house -- the two of you could just sit under the shade tree, drink ice cold whiskey, and just shoot the breeze!
-Well, let's get to work!
-You sure you feel up to it, Nathan?
-This done happen before. It ain't nothin' -- I just have to wait a minute or two.
-Is there something I can do to help you?
-There, you see?
-I see, all right -- It's time for us to get out of this field.
-I just got out here!
-Where you goin'!?
-To the commissary to get this boy some clothes! I'm gon' get everybody somethin'!
-But, Nathan--
-No, I ain't got no word yet, Rebecca. I went to the courthouse yesterday to see 'bout it, but they just won't tell me nothin' about what labor camp Nathan was sent to. I'm sorry, Rebecca.
-It's a shame, Reverend. It's a damn shame.
-I hope you don't take to bitterness, Sister Morgan. I tell you like I tell all the women in this church who got the same trouble you got. No matter what the trial or what the misery is, I tell 'em to stay with God.
-Yeah, he'll crawl into my bed tonight, lie close to my body and keep me warm -- and rectify the evil in the men who live over us in this valley.
-It's not that simple, Sister Rebecca -- the Lord works in mysterious ways -- we come into this life with nothin' and we'll leave it with nothing.
-Howya do, Rebecca. I sorta been expectin' you this mornin'.
-I wanta see Nathan.
-I wish I could, Rebecca, but I can't let you.
-I don't understand that, Sheriff Young.
-It's the rules and I gotta follow 'em. No visitin' 'cept holidays and Sunday -- and no womenfolk anytime.
-You mean to tell me I can't see my own husband?
-That's the way they do things here in Landsdown. I just follow orders.
-I got to see my husband, Sheriff Young!
-I'd like to help you, Rebecca. But all that would do, is git us both in trouble.
-Will they give him a trial?
-Shore thing -- next week sometime, and as soon as I git the day, I'll ride out and let you know 'bout it.
-What...
-Behold my glory.
-What... are you?
-The clitoris?! I DID IT!! I FOUND THE CLITORIS!!
-Stan, your friends need you. They are in trouble and you must help them.
-Wait, you're supposed to tell me how to get Wendy to like me.
-There are more important matters right now...
-NO WAY, DUDE! I'VE LOOKED ALL OVER FOR YOU, AND NOW YOU HAVE TO TELL ME HOW TO GET WENDY TO LIKE ME!!
-Dude, she's eight years old, just get her some ice cream or something.
-Of COURSE!! Ice cream!!
-Oh but OF COURSE children are going to see it!!
-Uh, can I finish? Can I finish? ...The fact is that we Canadians are quite surprised by your outrage-
-YOU JUST DON'T CARE!
-Can I finish? Hello? Can I finish? ...The United States has graphic images of violence on television all the time, what is that one show? COPS? And car crashes caught on tape? We can't believe that a movie with some foul language and fart jokes would piss you off so much.
-BECAUSE IT'S EVIL!!
-What?
-Patient 453 here has been fitted with the new v-chip...
-My head hurts.
-Don't worry about that. Now, I want you to say 'Doggy.'
-Doggy.
-Notice that nothing happens. Now say 'Montana.'
-Montana.
-Good. Now 'Pillow'.
-Pillow.
-OW!! That HURT GOD DAMMI-
-OW!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!! THIS ISN'T FAIR!!! YOU SONS A BITCHE--
-Well, anyway... Today children, our friend Mr. Hat is going to tell us all about the environment.
-That's right, Mr. Garrison. The environment is what surrounds us. It is what we live and breathe.
-Eric! Did you just say the "F" word?
-Why the fuck not?
-Fuckin' a right.
-How would you like to go to the principal's office?
-WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!
-Dude!
-Come on, you guys... We have to THINK!
-About what?
-To free Terrance and Phillip.
-But you guys... It's Salisbury steak.
-What is this?
-They're burning all the Canadian stuff cause of the war.
--no Cheesy Poofs.
-<b>And my mom has become so bu-sy that she's raising heck and ignoring me I agree that there is now a battle to be won! Something must be done!</b>
-Is it Cartman's mom?
-Oh, son of a bitch! AAGHGH!! I mean, son of a biscuit!
-What?
-Fuck that! AGAGH!!
-Holy shit Cartman! What was that?!
-Dude, this is seriously lame. I didn't know we were gonna get all dirty and stuff.
-Cartman, over zere, is the electrical box. You must sneak over zere and shut it off before I return with Terrance and Phillip or the alarms will sound and I will be shot full of holes. Got it?
-Okay.
-You MUST shut off the power, this is VERY IMPORTANT do you understa-
-Ze alarms! Zey went off!
-Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway.
-Cartman! What the hell are you talking about?! You LOVE Terrance and Philiip!
-How come Terrance and Phillip are so weird looking?
-Cuz, dummy they're Canadian, just like Ike!
-Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!
-Suck my balls.
-Dude, how can you hate the environment?
-I can't dude! We all took a sacred oath, and swore ourselves to secrecy!
-Man, that movie gets better every time I see it!
-I bet him he couldn't do it... I bet him a hundred dollars!
-Come on, Cartman. It's not your fault.
-No, I know. I'm just fucking STOKED I don't have to pay him!
-I can't believe he's dead.
-Who the hell made up that law?!
-But they fucking didn't do anything wrong!
-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
-Hey Cartman.
-What?
-You know, me and Stan were just talking about what a fat fucking hunk o' fat fuck you are.
-This is all cause of your mom, Kyle. She's such a bitch- AGH!! I mean - she's such a... meanie.
-Come on, just get to the message board!
-Bingo. Okay, here we go... Want to help Terrance and Phillip? Meet us for a meeting at Gladdy's barn tomorrow night...
-Tell 'em we'll have pie and punch.
-We're not gonna have pie and punch!
-More people will come if they think there'll be pie and punch!
-You're late, Cartman!
-I had to ride my bike here. My behind is killing me.
-Your behind?
-I have to say 'behind'! I get shocked if I say 'ass- OW!!!
-Did you bring the pie and punch?
-I know Cartman, I know. I see Kenny every day.
-YOU DO?!
-You guys! Seriously! You guys!
-What Cartman?!
-Cartman?!
-CARTMAN!
-Mph rmpmh rm.
-Mph rmph rm!!
-No you can't Kenny!
-Mph rm rmph!!
-Okay Kenny, I'll bet you a HUNDRED DOLLARS you can't light a fart on fire!
-GO AWAY, KENNY! IT'S NOT MY GOSH DARN FAULT!
-Mph rmprmmh rm!!
-I don't have proofs of purchases from Snacky Smores, Kenny!
-MPH RMPH RMPH RMPH RM!!!
-Mrphmmmph!!!
-Look, Eric it's your little friends.
-Eric! Don't talk to Ms. Brovlofski that way!
-Goodnight, honey.
-Mom... When is the war gonna be over?
-I don't know honey. Soon we hope. You want it to end quickly, huh?
-Oh, I don't care, I was just asking cuz all my favorite TV shows have been replaced by news and it's pissing me off.
-Mom...
-Yes, hon?
-If you went down on a horse... You'd tell me, right?
-Eric?! Eric, what is it?!
-Oh you poor dear. You've been through so much...
-Ugh... You guys, seriously... I'm having Cheesy Poof withdrawal...
-You've got a stupid accent too.
-Eric, that is not appropriate.
-What? Fuck French people. Fuck 'em in the ear.
-Mkay.
-So you see, the point and the theme of the film is kept intact. And of course, the MPAA didn't cut out any of the graphic violence. What did you think?
-Oh man, I'm gonna need a cherry pie to get the taste of ass out of my mouth from that piece of shit movie.
-Eric, you're not watching your mouth!
-You get me Cheesy Poofs with the delightful cheddar crunch, and I'll watch my fucking mouth!
-Eric!!!! You need to be rehabilitated. Help me to help you!
-Help yourself prickfuck!
-Thank God, that sucked ass.
-Uh, except for you Eric. I'm afraid you need to work more on not saying the F word and the N word.
-The N word?
-Norwegian Ass Raper.
-Oh yeah.
-Wendy, Mkay, if you want to start getting political, I'll throw your skinny little butt right back into rehab. Mkay?
-HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT GRADUATE ME?! DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO STAY HERE?!
-What?
-You bastards.
-What was that word, young man!?
-Oh, he said rim job. It's when someone licks your ass for-
-Kyle?!
-We can't, we're on a hunger strike.
-Ha! Is the Pope Catholic?
-I don't know.
-What's going on, Chef?
-Look at that!
-Hello there, children!!
-Hey, Chef.
-What's the secret to making a woman happy?
-Oh that's easy, you just gotta find the clitoris.
-Oops, I guess you haven't got that far in your anatomy class, huh?
-Chef, what does it mean that we're at war?
-Who are you, kid?
-Viva la Resistance.
-Oh no, it's that kid.
-May I?
-WE'RE going! WE started La Resistance to save Terrance and Phillip! We're going!
-Purpre mama!
-Donkey raping shit eater.
-Ber dada!
-Get out of here Ike, you're too young for this stuff!
-You stay up here in the attic, Ike. Don't make any noises or nothing, okay?
-Uhh...
-Yes I am!
-MMMMMPHPHPHPHP!!!!!
-I am Satan. I am your God, now.
-What are you doing?! Get on with your misery!
-Mph rmph rm rmph rm?
-Him? I don't know... He can be nice... sometimes.
-Mph rmph rm rmph rm.
-What do you mean?! I could leave him if I wanted to!
-Mph rmph rm!
-Mph mph.
-Very well, then. I will put an end to the war as your wish and make everything as it was before the war started. But you Kenny, must remain dead.
-Hey, relax Satan. Don't get all worked up. You're gonna give yourself an ulcer again.
-Mrph mprph!!
-What? What do you mean you don't belong here? Relax guy, hell is for children.
-Mrph mprhm mm rmph!
-Mph rmph rm rmph rmph rm!
-Mrph?
-Kyle, you take your little brother out to play with you!
-Aw, ma!!
-Terrance and Phillip, you are under arrest for working in America without the proper documents! WE GOT YOU!
-Boys, we have to have a difficult discussion.
-What's that?
-No... The General is right.
-MOM!!!
-YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!
-Who is it?
-Uhh... I'm here for La Resistance.
-What's the password?
-Uhh... I don't know.
-Guess.
-Uhh... Bacon.
-SHIT!
-So... We must free more Canadian prizoners?
-Yeah, I guess.
-Oh my God...
-Do you see them? Do you see Terrance and Phillip?
-No. Zey must have zem inside. We will have to dig.
-That's gonna take a long time!
-Dude, we don't have watches.
-What's a butfor?
-Now listen carefully. Stan and Kyle, you stand watch here and await my return. If any guards come by, make a sound like a dying giraffe.
-What's a dying giraffe sound like?
-Gwpaapa. Gwpaapa.
-Be careful, dude.
-No! That's not Terrance or Phillip!
-It's so very cold...
-We can't leave without you!
-It's okay, I am done for.
-Hey, dudes... Aren't you supposed to go to church, Kenny?
-This is terrible! This can't be happening!!
-That was sweet!
-<b>Thank my lucky stars Here before me now Is everything I'd ever hoped for Knew it in a word Saw it in a glance The only thing I think I'd die for...</b>
-Woa, dude, who's your girlfriend's new guy?
-Now remember, don't tell anybody we saw the Terrance and Phillip movie!
-Nowhere.
-I'VE heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before...
-Dude, anybody who doesn't think Terrance and Phillip is funny can fuck off anyways.
-OH MY GOD!! YOU KILLED KENNY!!
-Oh my God! THEY killed Kenny!
-How can they do this?
-Dude, our moms arrested Terrance and Phillip!
-Dude, let's help Terrance and Phillip!!
-What? What don't I get? What don't I get?
-I don't know, dude.
-That British dickhole is what's taking Wendy away from me!
-I thought she wasn't your girlfriend, dude.
-Wow, dude. Wendy could really give a rats ass about you.
-I bet she would if my name was GREGORY!!
-Hey, Cartman, did they put that V-chip in your head or your ass?
-Whoa! What the hell was that?!
-This is sweet!!
-I'm so sick of these soldiers.
-Does it say what the clitoris is?
-All it says is that it's above the vulva... But where the hell is the vulva?
-It's only a matter of time before my mom has HIM burned too!
-I don't know. But it has gone far enough! I'm sick of it! <b>Something must be done! Change has got to come around! They're taking all our laughter and burning it to the ground! Can't you see what this is leading to? A world of chains and ties and glue! We have to fight before they've taken every one! Something must be done!</b>
-Okay... I just need to find a few private message boards...
-Wait! Before we put a message out, do a search on the word 'clitoris'.
-"Found Eight Million Pages With the Word Clitoris"!
-Wow!
-Dude, do you know what you're doing?
-Wow, a lot of people showed up.
-Yeah, so what do we say?
-I thought you had something planned.
-Oh, brother.
-Stan!
-Dude, I found the clitoris! I think I can get Wendy to like me now!
-WHAT?
-Thank you, Kenny.
-Whew, I'm sure glad that's over.
-Mom, I'm a man. Just a man. And I'm going to have fun with profanity just like you and dad did when you were little.
-Oh dear God...
-I knew this would happen! Those bastard Canadians have now killed a child! Can't people see the damage that film is doing?!
-Sheila, you're going to far! Those are YOUR children!
-Oh Lord, what have we done...?
-WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! We need to stop the not pretty things from letting our children be born in hospitals!
-Shiteater-
-My fellow Americans. I have led this fight in the War against profanity. I have founded Mothers Against Canada. Our neighbor to the north has abused us for the last time.
-As Commander in chief, I have ordered our Army to set up defensive positions along the US-Canada border in anticipation of an attack.
-What about air strikes?
-Huh?
-We have to have air strikes on their military and entertainment centers. It's the only way to ensure that their smut can't reach American soil!
-Oh, uh... I don't know if air strikes are necessary.
-Ma'am, we're tracking a resistance... It's probably Canadian spies!!
-Well find out where that signal is coming from! Then hunt them down like dogs! Any and all Canadian influence must be stopped at all cost!
-And Bill?
-Yes?
-I'm needing lunch.
-You're all part of Satan's army now!
-I am the dark master!
-Oh no you don't! This is MY fight!! I don't need your help, Alan Dershwitz!
-SILENCE! I AM SATAN!
-Oh.
-Yes... And in doing so, you brought enough anger and intolerance to the world to allow my coming.
-And I thought my mother was the master of guilt. Geez Louise.
-SILENCE!!! NOW!!! EVERYONE BOW DOWN TO ME!!!
-What did my son say, Principal Victoria? Did he say the S word?
-No, it was worse than that...
-The F word?!
-Terrance and Phillip MOVIE?! Oy gevalt! Not again!
-What is Terrance and Phillip?
-Terrance and Phillip are two VERY untalented, unfunny actors from Canada. Their TV show is filled with toilet humor and bad language and is just complete garbage. Now it appears they have a movie and I'm positive it's not suitable for children!
-We must take action on this immediately.
-Ooh yes. I think we'll have to give detention to those boys.
-Article 42! You don't mean-?!
-Yes Principal Victoria. The PTA is impeaching you.
-But I-
-Uh, we're just, starting our program...
-How is the children's progress?
-Very encouraging. Most of the children have been weened from their naughty mouths.
-What do you mean MOST, why not ALL?
-Well, some of the children just don't respond to 12 step programs.
-Mrs. Brovlofski, the V-chip hasn't been fully tested yet, it could be dangerous.
-I don't care if it's dangerous! Desperate times call for desperate measures, Mr. Mackey. Perhaps I need to remind you of your situation.
-What?! Why would you call me a pigfucker?!
-Well, let's see... First of all, you fuck pigs.
-Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch, I just got a letter!
-It's from your mother.
-My mother sent YOU a letter? What's it say?
-You'd fuck your uncle!
-YOU'D fuck your uncle!
-<b>Shut your fucking face, Unclefucka!! You're an asslicking, Ball sucking Unclefucka!! You're an Unclefucka, yes it's true Nobody fucks Uncles quite like you-</b>
-Well, Terrance I hope you learned something from this whole experience.
-Say Phillip, want to see the Northern Lights?
-HA HA HA! You burned yourself to death by lighting the fart! HA HA HA!!
-Hello, Conan!
-Good one, Phillip! Cheers.
-Phillip, we've been tricked and ambushed by The Conan O'Brian Show!!
-This little scrotum sucker willfully deceived us! You are a bad man!
-Fight the power!
-The young boy that died lit himself on fire. It was unfortunate, but how can they blame US?
-The problem is you don't allow your children to think for themselves. You try to raise them in a protective bubble, and then when they finally get old enough, they realize they've been lied to, and they resent you for it.
-Oh, you are such a maroon!
-Oh, Phillip. This cannot be good.
-Phillip, this is worse than that trip to Quebec City when I fell asleep in that disco.
-What's going on Terrance?
-Did you hear that, Terrance? I farted!
-AGH!
-You're quite a purveyor of filth, little boy!
-Oh, a new recruit, huh? Welcome to hell, kid! Relax! Take a load off!!
-Saddam, would you let me do my job please!
-Well of COURSE he wants out of hell! The whole POINT of hell is that you don't WANT to be here!
-I don't see why you have to belittle me in front of people like that.
-Hey, relax guy. It's just a cruel joke. Rich, chocolatey Snacky Smores are only available up on Earth. He'll never get 'em, see?
-Sometimes I just think you don't have any respect for me.
-Who's my cream puff?
-You just get cranky when you're tired, that's all. I told you that you shouldn't have tried to carry that futon all by yourself.
-It has come to be... The Four Horsemen are drawing nigh! The time of the prophecy is upon us!
-Oh I love when you get all biblical Satan. You know exactly how to turn my crank!
-Yeah! YEAH!!! Man I'm getting so HOT!!!
-Do you always think about sex? I'm talking about some very important stuff here!
-Listen buttercup, let's make love and forget about the whole thing.
-You know I do.
-I know.
-What did you do today Satan?
-You don't care.
-Hey fella! Relax! This whole armageddon thing has got you all stressed out. Let's make love.
-Do you remember when you first got here? We used to talk all night long. Until the sun came up... We would just lie in bed and TALK.
-That's because I wanted to fuck you, dumbass! Now hows aboot you get those pants down!
-Don't call me dumb!
-This is the millennium, Saddam! This is Armageddon! There's more to life than sex!
-Hey, relax guy!
-Well I just want you to be impressed with what I <u>do</u>. I want you to respect my MIND.
-<b>What if I, don't wanna put out? That's all you ever say Relax put out I'm a living creature, I have feelings too, I don't need this abuse from you-</b>
-What if I just left?
-Hey, I'm missing the party!
-I TOLD you not to make that deal, Saddam!
-No, Saddam. You made a deal. You can't just renege on a deal. That's lying.
-Help you? You've destroyed my life and now you want me to help you?! You're always making me feel like a piece of shit.
-Come on guy, you know I only rib you because I love you so much!
-If you love somebody then you treat them with respect! You've never respected me!
-Can we talk about this later? Everyone is watching!
-Ow, you're hurting me!
-Now do what I say and keep your fucking mouth shut!
-We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie!
-Did you see that, Wendy?
-Didn't you think it was funny, Wendy?
-Stan... I think you and I need some time apart.
-Yeah!
-What the hell are you talking about, kid?
-Hi Wendy.
-NAZIS!!
-What's the matter, Wendy?
-Nothing, Stan. You wouldn't understand.
-Wendy?
-Stan! Stan are you okay?!
-Wendy... How would you like to go get some ice cream?
-Sure, Stan! How did you know I loved ice cream?
-My friend the clitoris told me.
-Wow, I have a clitoris too.
-Stan, I never cared for Gregory.
-You didn't?
-No, dude. Fuck him. Fuck him in the ear.
-Cool!
-<b>Thank my lucky stars Here before me now Is everything I'd ever hoped for-</b>
-What is it?
-Bedrock! I cannot dig any further in zis direction!
-You don't have watches?
-Dude, you didn't say anything about watches.
-Got it.
-And ze rope?
-Check.
-Oh my God, what is he doing?
-Will you two please stop it! I don't want to spend my final hours listening to you bitch!
-Getting drunk is no solution.
-I think we're moving.
-I never though I'd be stuck in a wine closet with Warren Wayne.
-Oh Warren...oh Warren...take me, God take me...
-Oh yeah...
-Oh yeah...
-Oh Sara...
-Anna...
-Jesus, come on!
-Evening.
-It can't be.
-Excuse me?
-Uh, yes I am. And you are?
-Anna Koros. She sensually extends her hand, Warren shakes it -
-Koros, as in...Koros? Dimitri Koros?
-My grandfather. My God, I can't tell you what a fan I am of yours! You were magnificent in Deadly Gamble.
-Oh, thank you.
-Magnificent, magnificent.
-Well I appreciate that.
-So, what brings you out here? Pleasure cruise?
-Well a little business too. In my upcoming project Star Trackers I play a ship's captain, and I really wanted to get a feel for the outer space experience. I feel it will add more credibility to my performance.
-Of course, of course...
-So...
-Well I guess we're neighbors for this trip.
-Well, so we are. Sure is beautiful, huh?
-Well, it was nice meeting you. Enjoy the rest of the trip.
-No, I think hygiene is important. It helps you get into the part.
-Where the hell did you come from?
-Weren't you down in the dining room?
-I was there. Officer Taylor accessed my CPU directly to open the airlock doors. They are not functioning properly.
-Yes he did. Yes he did. Barnes looks at the monitor - Taylor and the others are still in the dining room -
-You didn't do anything to the monitors, did you Mac?
-And what are they doing now, Mac?
-Were you going to give it to them?
-I am here to provide service to... to all our guests. There is a high level of passenger dissatisfaction. It is my duty...to report this.
-On channel 10?
-Mac, you really earned your wings this flight.
-I am here to provide service to... to all our guests. There is a high level of passenger dissatisfaction. It is my duty...to report this.
-I hear you Mac and I appreciate it. Frankly I don't know what I'd have done without you on this one.
-There is a high level...of passenger dissatisfaction.
-Why should she, it's her fault. All guests are told not to eat in zero gravity, but she just wanted to have fun I guess, didn't realize what a grain of salt can do to sophisticated machinery.
-Well, I guess she figures she's paying for it.
-What did you say to me?
-It's a little late for you to be up.
-All too well, captain.
-Well I guess there's no time like the present. I'll go run a check on that room, just to show we go that extra mile for our guests.
-No, I just ran it! Why are you running it again?
-It's telling me fail mode confirmed. Did you see this?
-There must be some mistake. You sure you hit the right commands?
-Yes I'm sure I hit the right commands.
-You're certain of that?
-Trust me. Even checked 'em with my own eyes.
-Well, everything's running smoother than a baby's ass.
-So, are you on for the next one?
-I don't know. Everything's up in the air at this point, no pun intended.
-Why, didn't they say?
-Well that hotel begins construction in January, there's going to be a lot of shuttle work.
-You want to go back to shuttle work?
-You gotta think of your old age.
-That's very pragmatic of you, Barnes.
-Man, I'm hungry. I'm going to call the steward, you want anything?.
-What, and leave you here all by your lonesome?
-I think I can handle it.
-Well, maybe I will. You sure you don't want anything?
-No. I'm all set. Thanks.
-Well, maybe I'll surprise you.
-Bridge! Can anyone hear me?!
-If anyone can hear me please respond!
-Barnes, can you hear me, are you all right?
-Why yes Ryan, I am, and thanks for asking. You don't have to talk to the intercom, I can hear you fine.
-The bridge is fine, Taylor, how are things down there?
-Transmit the code 3 emergency and take us offline. Override the airlock sensors and hurry! We're running out of time, we have to get to the pods!
-Much as I'd like to help you and our valued guests, I'm afraid I can't.
-What are you talking about! Can you transmit the code 3 -
-Now do you want the good news first or the bad news?
-You better start making sense!
-Ok, I will. The bad news is the ship is history. Life support will last another 36 hours, maybe.
-Then we've got to get to the lifepods!
-It's still not going to work! They'll detect you upon re-entry in an emergency vessel!
-Uh, that's an affirmative, Roger Wilco. Please proceed.
-We have the codes here. How do you want to receive them?
-That was a joke Taylor, lighten up! Why don't you just hold them up to the lens. I'll write them down, and once I'm through verifying them, I'll get back to you.
-Mac, can you hear me? Come in?
-I don't know what you're talking about!
-Look we gave you what you asked for. It checks out didn't it?! What more do you want from us!
-I told you not to try anything smart! I guess you're too much of a maverick to follow a simple order! And that's just too bad for all of you now, isn't it?
-Idiot...
-Barnes?
-That's me.
-Break it down to me, what's going on?
-Seems like they're cooperating. Hopefully I'll be out of here and on my way very soon.
-Well don't drag your ass. There won't be much of a window for us to link up. We'll be in your orbit trajectory in less than two hours.
-Yeah, I know Bill, I came up with the plan remember? Just have those hangar doors open and ready, I can take it from there.
-Will do. What about the distress signal?
-Well that's your call. Doesn't make a damn bit of difference to me. Just as long as I get my cut.
-Oh you'll get it, believe me. So I'll see you in a few.
-It's time we lock coordinates.
-So, what are we waiting for?
-Cool your jets...I'm doing a little damage control.
-You're not helping my heart condition any, Barnes! Now just what the hell are you dragging your ass for?
-This ship is going down in a blaze of glory!
-Well blaze your ass out of there! You've completely altered your trajectory, are we linking up or not?!
-Well if you knew it then why did set your thrusters on before making the calculation?
-I told you, I had to teach a few people a lesson!
-Goddamn it Barnes this really steams my onions!
-Now I got enough air and supplies to make another complete orbit in the pod! You're just gonna have to pick me up later.
-Is that clear?
-That's clear.
-Good. Now you'll hear from me when I have the new coordinates. In the meantime don't bug me.
-Sheesh! Aye aye cap'n!
-Look at this...Jesus.
-Yeah, I guess money don't buy class.
-No. But it buys a lot of other things.
-Like that piece of ass he was with.
-Well...I don't mind. I can put up with it. I'm taking six months off after this, and I won't have to deal with people snapping their fingers at me.
-Well, more power to you. Me, I start to bug out after too much time out here.
-What's the use...we're gonna die...
-We're going to die.
-It's getting hard to breathe...
-Oh right, right you're on that research grant.
-That's right.
-Ryan Taylor, first mate. Welcome aboard. First time in space?
-Yes. Theoretical discoveries aside, there's nothing like the real thing. How about you?
-So you were looking for a new challenge.
-Well, let me put it this way. Most of the cost is due to safety reasons. Most people are not familiar with space travel, so we have to take extra precautions in the event they do something careless.
-Like open an airlock by mistake?
-Well I don't think there's a chance of that happening. It's usually the moon walks. Sometimes you feel like a kindergarten teacher.
-Well I hope I don't do anything careless.
-I'm sure you'll be all right.
-Actually I've logged about 200 hours of simulated space walking at the institute, mostly related to starship construction.
-Really?
-What are we going to do?
-We don't.
-Well maybe there's a way out of here.
-Given a malfunction, how would a rescue team get you out if the doors won't open?
-Probably come through the wall I suppose.
-I don't think you know what you're talking about. Besides, what could we use for tools? A steak knife? A corkscrew?
-Supposing we could get out of this room? Is there anything we could do to reach the bridge?
-It depends on the condition of the ship. If I could get to one of the suit compartments I could check the exterior air locks for a possible entry.
-Can't we access the mainframe to check the ship's condition?
-OK...it's open.
-Seen one like it before?
-Sure. It complies with all standard construction codes.
-Damn it. If only we could get to those suits... Dawn then thinks of something -
-Why can't we?
-And suppose you couldn't hold out?
-We could send Mac. If he can retrieve one suit, we could go back for the other.
-He certainly is polite.
-It must be oxygenated if we can hear him.
-If I could get to the bridge I could send the distress signal.
-Everyone just stay put.
-I can't let you do that.
-Look I know what I'm doing. I have experience and training in space walking.
-I don't know what we're facing.
-Are you ready?
-Yeah. We did it.
-You're ready for the real thing?
-Be careful, you don't want to puncture the suit.
-Explosive?
-Taylor?
-Yeah?
-Well, Dawn, I'm an optimist by nature.
-Do you want some advice?
-Sure.
-Don't worry about what will happen, just concentrate on what is happening. You'll live longer.
-Dawn! Dawn!
-I guess I owe you a debt of gratitude. You saved my life.
-Oh my God. What happened?
-What's that?
-A schematic of the ship. Looking for a lifeline to the pods.
-We don't have enough suits to get the others out.
-Take this flare.
-A flare? A flare won't do it.
-A little dab'll do ya. Now you know how to get there, right?
-I'm not going with you.
-What? What are you talking about?
-And what are you going to do?!
-I'm going to try and buy you some time. I can get to the bridge from here.
-But how are you going to escape?
-Don't worry about me. There's still a chance I can issue a distress signal.
-But you can't be sure! It's suicide. You have to come with us!
-I will once I get past the bulkhead. Good luck.
-Dawn. Come in.
-I'm in the bridge.
-He's out of the equation. Talk to me.
-I'm about to blow the wall.
-Hurry. You have to get them out of there!
-Uh, it's ok, everything's going to be ok...now I'm counting on you, and whatever you do keep calm, we don't want them to panic.
-I'll do my best.
-So what's going to happen to you?
-I'm staying with the ship. I'll be all right. Now hurry.
-Thanks for everything, Taylor. Will I see you again?
-Hopefully sooner than later.
-Sooner than later.
-What the hell are you doing?
-We have room! Let's go!
-What do you mean? What happened!
-So close...
-I never thought this would happen. No premonitions, nothing.
-It did. It is. There's nothing we can do about that.
-Will you marry me?
-Marry you?
-I would, but no one can perform the ceremony. I guess it doesn't matter.
-In that case, I accept.
-Right now it's about 8 o'clock at home. People are going to work, kids are going to school...
-What is it?!
-I'm fine.
-Congratulations on your...recent award.
-Thank you.
-Is there anything I can help you with?
-No, just enjoying the view.
-Well, there's no better to way to see the world, than with us.
-So I've been told.
-Yes Mac, but the guests are requesting it. It will reduce the level of negative feedback.
-What is happening around here!!!
-There's no time to explain. Get everyone together! We found a way to the pods!
-Where's Taylor?
-Carlo!
-I'm going back for Taylor!
-I'm homesick.
-Homesick? It's only been two days!
-We should have gone to Nassau. At least we could go swimming, lie on the beach.
-Ah hell we can always do that. Listen believe me, once we get to the moon, your tone is going to change.
-How is it going to be different from this? Go see some boring footprint under glass?
-Look around you baby, we're rubbing elbows with royalty, oil sheiks, this is class. You'll be envied by everyone.
-I guess so.
-Oh no...I think there's carrots in here...
-Well now what are we gonna do!
-How am I supposed to know?
-You're Delbert Miles! You have more clout than some whacked out pilot! Talk to him!
-It's getting too cold in here. I can't stand this anymore!
-Baby, take it easy.
-Look. We're talking about life and death here. I don't know why we're even having this conversation.
-You're gonna give him those bank codes, you know why? Because I'm telling you to, that's why. I'm not losing my life over some greedy pig.
-I haven't quite made up my mind yet.
-Again with the orders from you! You got a Napoleon complex chief, and I'm getting sick of it!
-I tell you, something's not right here. How do we know they're not going to use the pod for themselves?
-Because, Taylor wouldn't do that, that's why.
-What the hell is that?
-Officer Taylor, how are you this evening?
-Mac, I have a favor to ask you. Mac looks at Taylor -
-Certainly. If you need anything, please feel free to ask me. Just a reminder we have fabulous cuisine available --
-Yes I know all that. Mac, I need you to help us out with a little technical problem.
-Certainly. I have a full working knowledge of the ships operations.
-I need you to actually do something for me. I need to access your CPU, directly.
-That will not be necessary. You can simply speak to me. I understand most languages fluently.
-Yeah but the ship's mainframe doesn't. I need you to tell it something.
-Alteration of my central processing unit should be done only by an authorized service dealer.
-Now Mac, can you tell me the status of this deck?
-But the corridor outside this door is open, correct?
-Mac, what about the suit compartments on this level? Can they be accessed?
-Ok Mac... I'll talk to you on this. I want to find a way to get to the bridge, then I want you to come back.
-How is it looking, Mac?
-Is it safe for human transport?
-I'm an addict. I can't go through a day without the stuff. Theo reaches over and pours for him with a steady hand.
-You're not from around here, are you?
-I'm looking for a man.
-What kind of man?
-99 years, 241 days, 15 hours, and 20 minutes of no bowling. Alfie shuffles up to the self-serve island and begins wiping it down.
-Find your bowler?
-Yeah, but it didn't go so good. He wasn't the man I thought he'd be. Theo is trying to affix the lid on his cup, but his hands are trembling, spilling some of the coffee.
-My father used to say to me "Never..." no, hmmm. "Always..." No, no... Ah! Love and hate are blood relations.
-Did you hear about that bowler who got smeared? I saw them pull a body bag out of the alley. I heard he was kacked but good. They had to take apart the pin machine to get him out.
-The pin machine?
-You a mini-golfer?
-Nope.
-Paradise, huh? Might be one of the new putt-putts off route 99. Theo turns to leave.
-Can I get you something for the road?
-You have orange whips?
-Orange who? Not from 'round here, are ya?
-Where can I find Buzz Fazeli?
-Whoa, cool your maples. Over the bridge, past the Peter Pan, last house on the dead end. Theo releases Sid's hand. Sid drops to his knees and cradles his damaged hand.
-Haven't seen a ball like that since '69.
-I don't know no Buzz Fazeli.
-Hey, cut it out Sid, that tickles. I'm serious! You guys are related, right?
-Heh, heh, heh.
-Sorry about your loss.
-After we ID, we bury the body. Case and casket closed.
-You tried to make it look like Junior trashed his place. Junior's underground in that coffin you dicks put him in.
-Hey, ain't I seen you on the tour?
-Fazeli...I don't know no Buzz Fazeli.
-Yeah, basement bingo.
-Ah, come on, lemme see your ball.
-Three whips. To go.
-Hey, you still here?
-Buzz, Mr. Kastle wants to talk to you.
-Look, Faz, Mr. Kastle was not his usual charismatic self today when he told us to tell you... What was that he said...?
-I remember, Sid! Mr. Kastle says he don't like no sticky fingers in the till.
-Your pop said to put these on his tab. Sid gets up and jerks his thumb towards the door.
-Bowling used to be so pure, so...All- American. Breeze sings along with Caruso and pretends to conduct.
-La da da dalala...
-I hate fuckin' opera.
-How could you hate opera, Sid? Opera has all the drama and excitement of real life - to music!
-How do you know, you don't even speak Latin?
-You listen to the feelings, not the words.
-You got an 8-track tape player on purpose, just 'cause you knew the only thing they had on 8-track was fuckin' opera.
-You know, Elvis bowled.
-No kiddin'.
-Bowling was the most incorruptible sport. No megalomillionaires, no
-gambling. And it was a safe place for kids, a place where the whole community could meet for some wholesome, clean fun.
-Sure, Sid.
-But not no more. Now people take advantage. Bowling ain't what it used to be. There's something evil spreading in this sport - like a big, gigantic, puss- ridden -
-- canker sore.
-How do you turn this thing off?
-Hello Mr. Kastle. Junior, long time. I thought they locked you up and threw away the warden!
-Bowling police, step back, give him room.
-Did you know you were parked in the handicap space?
-She told us you went after Junior to save your old man's hide. You got some balls goin' after that psycho.
-Only problem is, you didn't put his lights out, you just got him mad. Then he took it out on poor Faz, God rest his soul. Theo patches out.
-Think he bought it?
-The Faz sure took care a her. Breeze makes a nasal GRUNT as he tries to suppress a snigger. Sid - trying to keep a straight face - elbows him. Sid and Breeze approach the coffin. Breeze pulls an orange whip out of a paper bag and carefully places it on the coffin lid.
-Nectar of the bowling gods, Faz.
-Yeah, and make it extra muddy, I didn't sleep a zee last night. Sheila fills a cup. Buzz lifts it to his mouth, his hands trembling.
-You don't need coffee, Mr. Fazeli; you need a vacation. Sheila catches sight of Theo pulling into the parking lot. She puts a Ken head earring in her right ear. Buzz follows Sheila's gaze.
-Buzz Burger, side of 'cues. You haven't introduced me to your fan.
-You look like you're something on the lanes.
-Theo's bowled on the tour.
-What's on your mind, Miles?
-We've been partners a long time now, haven't we Buzz?
-This scam we got going here was your
-brainstorm, Buzz. I admit, I thought it was a rotten idea, but I put up the scratch. And now we got a beautiful thing.
-It's a beautiful thing.
-And look at that; both partners go down together. Kastle shoves the sculpture onto the floor, stands up, and crushes it under his heel. He goes over and puts his arm around Buzz.
-Simple math, Buzz. Two plus two does not equal three.
-Miles, I've always been on the square with you.
-I'm sure you have Buzz.
-Buzz Fazeli.
-Theo.
-I know your face, you're an up-and-comer. You bowl on the tour.
-I'm not on the tour this year.
-Need some advice, huh.
-Well, Mr. Fazeli, the Bowling Congress says I'm a thorn in their side.
-I got suspended when I was young, too. I was pretty cocky in my day.
-They suspended me for 100 years.
-100 years!
-I can appeal in five. I was hoping you could help me Mr. Fazeli.
-What do you think I can do?
-I need a sponsor to get my sanction card back. Where I come from, you're the king.
-Sure, around here, any fat old bald guy could be king. I'm nothing. It wouldn't do any good for me to talk to the Congress. Hey, you thirsty? You like orange whips?
-Remember the finals in Akron in '59? You had a seven-ten split in the final frame.
-Yeah, against that prick VanDeMark.
-Ten thousand to one, but you pegged it. The toughest shot on the last frame.
-That game was before you was born.
-Orange whip, nectar of the bowling gods. Thanks sweetie. Millie turns the tray so that Buzz takes the untainted whip. Theo takes the other glass.
-Where'd you get this ball?
-It's mine.
-Who gave it to you?
-Grace Skinner.
-Grace Skinner. Who's Grace Skinner to you?
-Who are you? Who sent you here?
-I don't know no Grace Skinner.
-You're a bullshit artist, that's what you are. You got no right to be here! Theo yanks the trophy away from Buzz.
-I got a right. You're my father.
-Millie left to stay with her sister in Ronkonkoma.
-You know what a mixer ball is? It's like you, you come out of nowhere and upset things, scattering everything all over. Buzz grumpily waves at him to sit.
-What are you doing over at the lanes that's so dangerous, Buzz?
-You shouldn't listen to her, she's a nervous old Nellie.
-She thinks someone's trying to kill you.
-Theo.
-Watch out for that one. She's got a great average, but she's looking for a prince. And, believe me, she's
-kissed a lotta tadpoles. Listen, I been thinking about your problem. I'm not the guy to sponsor you. It would be unethical. But, there is something I could do for you. Putt-putt golf.
-It's the next level, the next dimension... ...the small ball.
-The small ball.
-It's gonna be bigger than big. Think Europe. Think Asia. They don't have room for real golf courses in Japan.
-Not for me. Miniature golf's for pansies.
-If the Japanese are pansies, then pansies are my kind of people. Sheila steps over to the booth with their food. The Buzz Burger has three holes cut in the middle to make it look like a bowling ball. Buzz sees the two sleazeballs park their car and walk towards the diner.
-What the fuck is this?
-What's it look like to you?
-I do what I gotta do to survive.
-You have no right to call yourself a bowler. Buzz slaps Theo in the face.
-I'm more of a bowler than you'll ever be. I deal with my own shit. I ain't asking anyone to bail me out.
-I'm your blood.
-What makes you so sure it was me? She coulda had lotsa bowlers! Theo rushes Buzz and grabs his arm. The two men struggle for the pin.
-Don't say that about my mom!
-I had a career. She wanted a little bowler of her own. Sid and Breeze leap into the fray, prying the two men apart. They wrestle Theo against a wall, pressing his face into the tiles.
-Fuck you and fuck bowling.
-That's a laugh. You're all strung out. You're a bowling junkie.
-I don't need the stinking pro-tour.
-Theo, I want you to get out of this town.
-I'm getting to like it here.
-Did that porcupine say he'd get you back on the tour?
-I gotta survive.
-He'll be a barnacle on your ass the rest of your life.
-You got a better offer?
-No...
-Not for somebody who hit a man with his ball on national television.
-That's right, Buzz, and you know when I did it? Last match, last frame. All I needed was one spare for the crown - and I get stuck with the seven-ten, the Fazeli Split.
-You never even took the shot. You couldn't do it. Theo moves towards Buzz in a threatening manner.
-I was beaten on a shot named after my own dad. The moment passes. Theo turns and climbs into his car. He looks up at Buzz.
-Look, kid, gimme a break. I'm an old man. I'm runnin' on a Delrin aorta. I'm finished - dead from my ankles up.
-We ain't married no more.
-The whole world thinks you're underground.
-It could just as easily have been me in that box.
-I told you to get lost. You forced yourself into this mess, so the mess accommodated you. Buzz straightens out and carefully remolds the bent out of shape halo.
-What about bowling?
-Bowling died for me years ago. Besides, I'm a living dead legend. I'm a hero.
-So, eh, you never saw me. Right?
-I never saw you.
-Thanks, kid. Where are you goin' now?
-I'm goin' straight. No more short cuts. Theo gets into the car. Buzz leans in the open window.
-Listen, if straight doesn't work out, you come work for me. Just make sure nobody's following you. Buzz's face is eerily lit by the glow of the sunset, his halo bouncing in the breeze.
-I didn't mean that stuff I said. I was trying to keep you out of this muddle. I'm glad I didn't have my tubes tied. Oh, and by the way, I made a call for you before I - uh - retired. Buzz takes his card and scrawl on the back with a gold pen.
-You give Ed Klein of the American Bowling Congress a call. Tell him your Maynard's boy. He's expecting you, and he owes me. He'll getcha back in like Flynn. Don't say I never gave you nothing.
-Oh sure. Let everyone in. From now on I leave the door wide open. Let the parade begin!
-He's the guy Buzz.
-He's not the guy, Millie. Just whip the whips.
-I looked in his car. He's got pictures of you, clippings, maps.
-Bowlers don't go around killing other bowlers. He's only a fan, Millie. I'll give him some tips and an autograph and he's outta here.
-You're in trouble, aren't you Buzz? You're doing something dangerous in that alley.
-Millie, I know what I'm doing.
-Son?
-My poor baby!
-Hello?
-Hello, mom?
-Theodore? Where are you? Are you alright?
-I found dad.
-He's dead, isn't he. Buzz Fazeli might just as well have died before you were born.
-Mom, you know I had to do it. I just did it a little too late.
-You sure you're OK Teddy? You're not bowling are you?
-Don't tell me, John.
-Cool!
-Theo. Howzitgoin.
-Hey man, welcome to our parking lot. Lemme give you some advice, if she asks you to dance, make sure her brother's not around. Somebody blew out Junior's pilot light, if you get my meaning.
-How's that?
-I was doing the lambada with her and the guy freaks, he breaks my arm, tries to kill me. I swear man, the guy thought I was a pi–ata. If nobody else hadn't a been there, he wouldn't have stopped. He woulda killed me. Fuckin' guy man, just snapped. How do you like your burger?
-Uh...over easy.
-I don't like to talk about it.
-You're prone to violent outbursts, aren't you?
-It depends.
-Knock-knock.
-Who's there!
-Buzz Fazeli.
-NO. I SAY KNOCK-KNOCK! You say who's there. I say who's there and then you say who who. You're not playing right. Knock-knock.
-JUNIOR! You're supposed to say JUNIOR WHO! I'm going to have to hurt you. Theo and Junior circle one another.
-You shouldn't touch her.
-No, Junior, you shouldn't touch her.
-Nobody touches her. Except me. I touch her. Sheila told me you played bouncy- bouncy with her.
-What did your dad tell you to do to Buzz? Theo scrambles up the lane on hands and knees. Junior catches him, grabbing his ankles.
-He told me to play Blue-Face with Buzz. I like games.
-What did you do to Buzz?
-You played bouncy-bouncy with Sheila, so I'm gonna play Blue-Face with you.
-It's not so bad. When I'm alone, it feels like someone else. Sheila grabs the bottle from Junior, opens it and pours some on her shish kebab. She leans over and whispers furiously to her father.
-Come on Sheila, knock-knock.
-Who's there?
-Junior.
-Junior who?
-Junior's a problem child. He has a thing about -
-Come on, Junior. Everyone's waiting for you, son. The beam of light catches Junior's face. He is crouched inside the machine at lane six. Jr. His face is cut and bleeding and his straitjacket torn and filthy.
-Needs lubrication. Lubrication.
-We're having a party for you, boy. Cake and shish-k-bob, just like you love. Junior cringes away from the light.
-I have someone for you to play with Junior.
-Someone wants to play with me?
-I have someone for you to play Blueface with Junior.
-Weird, comes into alleys and doesn't bowl.
-Someone gonna get kacked, boss?
-Hey, enough fun and games. We have work to do. Come on Junior. Kastle heads for his car. Junior gets up and follows. The two sleazeballs tarry as Theo stands.
-Buzz has been moving the cash out in hollow bowling pins. Sid and Breeze throw sideways glances at each other.
-No!
-So you're Buzz's boy. I've been expecting you. You hurt my feelings when you didn't come and see me sooner.
-You know who I am?
-Nobody sticks a finger into a bowling ball in this town without Miles Kastle knowing about it. You don't mind if I have a word with Theo, do you bunny? Kastle takes Theo by the elbow and pulls him away.
-I heard you've been having a little trouble with the Congress. Theo pulls his eyes off Sheila. Kastle walks Theo past pairs of bowlers.
-You might say I'm at the top of their shit list.
-Maybe I can help you. Try a lighter ball, Penelope - you'll get hurt with that big ball, honey. I've seen tapes of you bowling on the circuit. You got Fazeli blood running through you. Your pop was a genuine talent in his day.
-What's with the bad air between you two, Mr. Kastle?
-That's some pinfall. Almost a 133 average. Her ball's flat, she needs to work on her spin control.
-Think of this business like a big aquarium. You gotta have some sharks to eat the dirt at the bottom so the guppies can swim free at the top.
-Profits down there, philanthropy up here. Besides, it beats the pants off bingo.
-Nice set-up.
-If it springs a leak, it'll be because Buzz is making waves.
-What if he wants to get out?
-Rac. R-A-C. Renovate, Automate, Computerize. That, my boy, is the future. One of the monitors shows a little girl bowling. Her ball moves so slowly it barely tips over the first pin. Kastle hits a key and the pins explode in an emphatic strike. The little girl jumps with joy.
-What ever happened to just bowling?
-There's a lot of competition for amusement out there. You gotta adapt to survive.
-I like the sport the way it is.
-A guy like you could breathe some fire into bowling. You got ambition like a...like a...blowtorch. You go for what you want and anything that gets in your way - PSSSHHT! - shish kebabs. Maybe lady fate washed you up on my doorstep for your own good. I think I could help you, Theo.
-How Mr. Kastle?
-You need a sponsor; I have influence. I could sponsor you.
-Why would you help me?
-You already have a partner Mr. Kastle. Sheila walks over as the sleazeballs' car pulls out of the driveway.
-Where's Junior?
-Dad, this is ridiculous. Just open it.
-I bet you didn't know that you and Junior have something in common, Theo: Junior can't bowl anymore either. Isn't that right Junior? Kastle SLAMS the ketchup bottle down on Junior's right hand. The table settings jump from the shock. Junior sits impassively, his face a blank.
-See! No feeling. Tell Theo what happened to your hand, Junior.
-After we eat, Dad.
-You're just like you mother! Always jealous!
-That's why Mom ran away, because you had to control everything!
-You're using Theo for your own deviant purposes!
-Look who's talking!
-Leave him alone!
-Fantastic! What talent.
-Don't go near the bowling alley.
-Hello, Mr.Kastle.
-Hello, Violet. How's my favorite 'bowlerina' doing?
-132, 154.
-I get them while they're young. Builds loyalty.
-She hit it, Mr. Kastle!
-I just hold it loosely with both hands?
-That's right, sugar, find the grip that's right for you. Then grasp firmly. The camera weaves past a five foot pink whale with a gaping green mouth leading onto a mini-green.
-Grasp firmly. Then what?
-Line up where you want it.
-Yeah.
-Now swing it out a little to the right...
-Like this?
-No, no, that's too far. Try a more gentle stroke. It's all in the stroke. Go ahead, now, honey - stroke. As the camera comes around the side of the whale, we see an elderly man in a fire hydrant red sports coat and white slacks hunched over a diminutive fiftyish woman. His back is to the camera and he is wearing a baseball
-Hole in one! You're the queen of stroke!
-Is Mr. Fazeli in please?
-Who wants to know? Zeus!
-I'm a bowler.
-Get that outta your mouth!
-He's not here.
-I'm sorry about Zeus, Millie.
-This is a sign! Someone's coming to take Buzz away from me. I don't know if you're the guy or what, but I'm not letting it happen. I'm leaving him first.
-I couldn't kill Buzz. I need his help. Theo helps Millie load suitcases into the trunk of her car.
-Buzz Fazeli never helps anybody but himself.
-He's my father, Millie.
-Careful with that one. He won't tell me anything, but I know there's something strange going on over at the lanes. If you ask me, I'd say the old fart wants to die.
-Where can I find him?
-What's your specialty?
-Whips...orange whips.
-Then I'll have the number four with one of your finest whips.
-How do you want it? The eggs.
-Uh...over easy.
-Do those two work for your dad or mine?
-Do you know where they're taking him?
-Here Theo, it's the Fazeli specialty; a seven-ten split. Theo looks down the lane and sees the two pins standing.
-I came here to have a word with your dad.
-What do you want with my dad?
-Business.
-Won't your father help you with that?
-Having a legend for a dad isn't all it's cracked up to be.
-This is a vicious cycle.
-I think that a motorbike is one of the last really free things that people can do.
-Isn't this technically a scooter?
-When I'm on my bike I feel like a wild person. Better than any sex I've ever had.
-Kinda tough on the butt.
-Everything has it's drawbacks.
-Where did your brother escape from?
-The mental hospital.
-What does he do?
-He follows me, he tries to have sex with me, and then they send him to the nut-hut for a while and then he gets out and then he follows me, he tries to have sex with me, they send him to the nut-hut for a while...
-Whoa.
-Mind if I cut in?
-You and your sideburns are the talk of the party, Theo.
-The ladies in Akron call them thigh- ticklers.
-Can I ask you something personal?
-I'd rather you didn't.
-Do you have a girlfriend?
-Not while I'm in training.
-Do you have a boyfriend?
-No. Do You?
-So this brother of yours is hazardous to the health of your dates?
-Nobody in this town really understands Junior. When I went to family sessions for him I realized he was the sanest one in the family. Actually, he's the only one in this whole fucking town who knows exactly who he is and what he wants.
-Unfortunately what he wants is you.
-So, what about you?
-Do I want you?
-Theo, what would you do if you couldn't bowl?
-I don't know. It's all I ever wanted to do.
-I wanted to be a motocross champion. My folks didn't really care what I did. Then Junior blew a fuse and I became their last hope. Most girls get ballet stuffed down their throats, I got bowling. I never understood how anyone could take it so seriously. I hope I'm not insulting you.
-No, I'm fascinated.
-Why were you suspended?
-I used to be kind of wild. They used to call me the bad boy of bowling.
-So you're hoping Buzz can get you re- instated?
-Well, that was plan A.
-What's plan B?
-Plan B is your dad.
-What do you think my dad's gonna do for you?
-He said he'd sponsor me.
-Ha! And what do you have to do for him?
-Nothing.
-Oh really? Nothing? My dad doesn't do anything unless there's something in it for him.
-He asked me to keep an eye on you for a couple of days.
-What? Be my body guard? Here's my body, Theo. Guard it. For my dad's sake. For your career. Sheila starts to unbutton her bowling shirt.
-Sheila, please.
-Come on Theo, what about plan C?
-What's plan C?
-I don't think your new outfit suits you, Theo.
-Do you talk with your mom?
-It's been awhile. She didn't want me looking for my dad.
-My mom told me not to stay in this town.
-So why do you stay?
-I'm a credit card junkie. I went on a binge and my dad bailed me out. Now I'm trapped in his easy payment plan.
-I bet you get to meet a lot of eligible bowlers.
-Yeah, but they're all little wannabes. I'm looking for a professional man.
-I may not be a pro bowler, but I'm no amateur man. Sheila moves closer to Theo.
-How much would you charge me for the lips?
-More than you could afford.
-Come on, bargain with me.
-I could let them go for ten.
-You professional men drive a hard bargain. I'm afraid I only have five on me. Sheila pulls out a 5 dollar bill.
-What are you going to do about your brother?
-You're here.
-Then it's true, isn't it? About...
-It wouldn't bother you if Buzz was in danger, would it?
-Nope, I couldn't care less.
-I'm sure you wouldn't care if he needed your help, right?
-Why should I help that old fuck.
-Yeah, what did Buzz Fazeli ever do for you?
-Zip.
-And besides, it's probably too late, anyhow.
-Nothing.
-Too late for what, Sheila?
-You know how people with broken bones know when there's a storm coming?
-You got any broken bones?
-No, but something's gonna blow in this town. I can feel it.
-Are you fucking with me Sheila? Is something gonna happen to Buzz? Sheila seems to be trying to tell Theo, but is unable.
-I can't tell you, Theo.
-Why not?
-I saw your eyes when you hit that guy with your ball on TV. THUNDER rumbles. Theo takes Sheila by the shoulders.
-Tell me, Sheila. What are you afraid of? Sheila shakes her head.
-I'm afraid you'll hurt him.
-It's Junior, isn't it.
-I can't - I can't do it. He's my brother.
-These open the back door. Don't let him catch you behind the machines; if he does, you're trapped. I'll meet you at the bridge. Theo takes the keys. Sheila grabs his arm.
-You don't have to do this. We could just cut out of here, go to Akron, or anywhere else.
-You told Junior that we did it.
-It?
-It. Bouncy-bouncy. Fucked. He tried to squeeze my fucking head off. What did you say to him? When they reach each other, they stop. Sheila seems to weigh her answer.
-I told him you were my boyfriend.
-What the hell did you go doing that for Sheila? We haven't even gotten naked yet!
-We would have sooner or later.
-Oh great! He tried to kill me! You knew he would go off if he thought I fooled around with you.
-How do you get this thing down?
-You wanted me to kill him, didn't you?
-If he's not dead, he'll keep coming back.
-He's dead Sheila.
-I feel sick.
-You should.
-Are you sure he's dead?
-Where are you going?
-I think your brother may have already gotten to Buzz. He gets into his car.
-Can I come with you?
-Why did you come back?
-When I'm with you Sheila, I don't even think about bowling. Theo takes Sheila in his arms and kisses her passionately. She stops him and looks around nervously.
-If Junior finds us, he'll kill us both.
-I killed him once, I'll just have to kill him again.
-You don't get two chances with Junior.
-Say something, Theo. Give me something. A doll's legs catch fire. Theo stares into Sheila's eyes.
-Theo, Buzz is dead.
-I didn't come this far to bury a guy that's not my dad. He owes me.
-Back to plan A. The vicious cycle all over again. Theo lets go of Sheila.
-I've been trapped by Miles Kastle my whole life. She walks over to her scooter, and mounts it.
-Now he's the one who's locked up and I'm the one who's free. If I gotta do this alone, I might as well start now. She revs up and peals out.
-What makes you think you know me so well that you can give me an ultimatum? Huh?
-Who said anything about an ultimatum? You want to find your father? Get a shovel and start digging. Hurry up, he's probably in Purgatory by now. Sheila makes a pathetic attempt to speed away from Theo. He moves up beside her again.
-You're really pissing me off.
-I'm pissing you off? I'm doing what I said I'd do. What the hell are you doing? What about your word?
-My word is good, and it'll always be good. When did I ever give my word to you?
-What about plan C?
-Fuck plan C!
-Your word is so good, you're never gonna give it to anyone.
-You think I'm dumping you to get back into bowling. Well who's dumping who?
-I'm not dumping you, I'm suspending you.
-Sez you!
-Very professional.
-I am a professional man.
-Lips still for sale?
-You bet. For five bucks, I'll even throw in the tongue.
-Lane's closed big fellah, league night.
-I'm not here to bowl.
-You drag that coconut around for your health, or do you know how to use it?
-Some unfinished business.
-You guys got something going on downstairs?
-We provide some extracurricular activities for the senior citizens in the community.
-Aagh! Stop! Those are my bowling fingers!
-Tell your little pal to let go.
-Very good, busyboy.
-Dwarf bowling's illegal.
-You should probably hit the road. Go home. This place could get hazardous for your health.
-So, Buzz was stooling for you guys.
-Why is Junior's watch in that coffin? Something stinks around here.
-Your time is up, busyboy.
-Who identified the body?
-The body was identified along proper Bowling Congress guidelines for processing a bowling related fatality.
-You faked my dad's murder. You used him! Where is he! Theo chases Sid and Breeze around their car. He catches Sid and grabs the middle fingers on his right hand. Sid howls.
-Captain, open the hatch door, please ... the hatch door, Captain. Open it, please.
-Calm down, Dr. Levine.
-Let me out, Captain. Open the door!
-... Your civil rights have been overridden!
-Open it, Captain!
-Fletcher? What are you doing out there?
-They're warm. I can feel the heat on my legs.
-Fletcher, get away from there...
-It's burning...
-Get out of there!
-I can't see...
-Fletcher! Now!
-How big is this spacecraft?
-In basic English, what does all this mean?
-There's heat coming the door.
-Back away then.
-Wait a minute --
-I said back away.
-Hold on --
-What is it?
-Alright, Beth, do that thing you did before.
-Not everything. Even on earth. Take ... yeasts.
-I am not leaving without him. Do you hear me? We come down as a team, we leave as a team.
-Norman!
-The surface ships will be back. After the storm clears.
-They told me about sixty hours.
-Back at the door -- I asked you to back away.
-Yeah. I heard you.
-There are procedures, Beth, that I want followed. My procedures. And considering what's going on, I want you to follow them very closely.
-Nobody move.
-But she's --
-I'm not sure. I've never seen anything like it.
-Nice work, Captain sir.
-Direction's east coming!
-A squid? The size of a whale? I don't think so. Target acquired. Sixty yards.
-What if it attacks?
-Fifty yards and closing.
-What do we use for defense?
-We're a habitat. Not a castle. The only defense we have is High Voltage.
-High Voltage?
-It sends 200 volts throughout the cylinder surface. But we've never used it underwater before.
-Forty yards.
-But you've tested it?
-Sure. Each time it started fires inside the habitat.
-Thirty yards.
-Where is it?
-What was that?
-Increase positive pressure!
-That's our reserve air.
-Don't do it, Norman!
-Don't pull it, Norman. It'll start a <u>fire</u> we can't stop. Norman?
-Do it, Norman, it's the only choice we have. This thing is gonna crush us.
-Don't do it!
-Norman, please! Don't!
-Thank you, Colonel.
-Captain.
-Well, thanks for the opportuninty here -- my wife appreciates it.
-Don't thank me, Dr. Johnson. You weren't my choice. The Pentagon made me take you.
-Come with me. The team's already waiting.
-What have you been told so far?
-The usual. Plane crash. Survivers unknown. Routine stuff really.
-Anything else?
-You talk to any reporters? Any press?
-Good. Security's been our biggest worry. Now that you're here we can shut this thing down tight.
-From what? What's with all the security?
-We're moving fast considering the storm.
-Storm? What storm?
-A cyclone's on it's way in. I thought they would have told you on the phone.
-How deep is he?
-A thousand feet.
-A thousand? An airplane crashes into a thousand feet of water -- I don't want to sound pessimistic here, but I assume there are no survivors.
-Survivors? No, I wouldn't think so.
-Then why am I here?
-What?
-What is it? A military spacecraft? Like a shuttle or satellite?
-Something like that. That doesn't surprise you?
-Not really, no. Something of the military crashes in the ocean -- it explains why there was nothing on the news, why you've kept everything a secret... When did it crash?
-See this? Coral. Geologists measured the coral growth on top of the craft to be over five meters thick.
-Geologists?
-Coral grows at a rate of two and a half centimeters a year --
--- Wait a second --
--- dating the crash at least that old.
-Hold on --
-Maybe older --
--- there's got to be some mistake here -- a four hundred year old military spacecraft? There's no such thing... our space program isn't even forty years old.
-Extraordinary, isn't it?
-It's impossible.
-Off the record, I don't mind telling you, this thing scares the shit out of me.
-It doesn't make any sense.
-We think it might. That's why we brought you here. We've assembled your team -- they're waiting for us now.
-What team?
-The one you recommended. In the ULF report you wrote for the Bush administration.
-Your report's become our bible down here, Dr. Johnson. We've been carrying out each of your recommendations -- one by one -- to the smallest detail.
-They pressurize us with helium.
-What's wrong with oxygen?
-What is it, Norman?
-Picked up something? What is it?
-Maybe we shouldn't.
-What?
-Like "Thou shall not kill"?
-Or maybe, it can't <u>be</u> killed.
-You mean, what's in that thing is immortal?
-I don't know. That's the point.
-Don't get hysterical, Norman.
-I'm telling you, Harry's lost it. He's saying there's a deathwish out for each of us.
-Look, the ships are clearing out. They're taking us topside in a matter of minutes. Someone can check him out there, if it's that imprtant.
-All I'm saying is, someone should keep an eye on him.
-Harry's missing.
-What do you mean, he's missing?
-He's missing. He's gone. He left.
-You can't just leave Harry down here, sir.
-I told you people, nobody goes anywhere unless I say.
-But sir --
-I'm not paranoid. I know Beth. She can be drastic.
-How drastic?
-You don't want to know.
-I think I do.
-A while back, Beth and I -- we worked at the same university. She was assisting a chemist there -- I forget his name -- doing research, experiments. She was also living with him. Yeah, I know. And when she finished her work, he kicked her out, broke off the relationship, and published five papers -- all her work -- without any thank you
-She should've known better.
-She put a razor to her wrists a day later.
-When was this?
-'81, I think. She tried again five years ago. I thought you should know.
-So you knew this when you wrote your report?
-At the time, I don't know, I thought putting her on the list -- it might help her career -- catch her a break.
-You knowingly recommended a woman with suicidal tendencies for a government operation --
-Wait a second --
--- and then brought her down here --
--- I didn't know it would come to this --
-He translated it wrong. "My name is Jerry"? It's like "See Spot run."
-The message doesn't show a lack of intelligence. It's smart. It's approaching us in a simple way. Like you would a dog. Holding out your hand, letting it sniff, get used to you.
-Great, okay. Ask him about his weapons.
-That's smart. Let's talk about guns and violence.
-You don't think weapons are important?
-Edmunds?
-Because if Jerry is powerful and also emotional...
-Damn it, Edmunds?
-... it raises a very serious question: <u>What happens if Jerry</u> <u>gets mad</u>?
-What for?
-If something should happen to us, the Navy will at least have partial records of what happened.
-I don't want you talking to Jerry.
-You think he killed Edmunds?
-Yes, I do. Whatever's out there, I think is his response to us refusing to talk to him earlier.
-Bullshit. What's out there isn't alien. It's an animal.
-Maybe so. But I think we need to ask Jerry about it.
-Going active.
-What the hell? It shut us down.
-Jerry? Please. Stop this.
-Yes, sir. I'm here.
-I see it.
-Can you open that panel?
-It's not sucking, sir.
-Thank you, I can see that. Try something else.
-We don't have anything else to try, Sir.
-What caused it?
-Get him out of there. I thought I told you people --
-Subs are still at surface, sir.
-I'm getting no sub reading, sir.
-Any sign of Harry?
-Nothing, sir.
-Nothing, sir.
-Yes, sir.
-Well, where the fuck is he?
-Sir, if the subs haven't left by now...
-They've left, keep watching!
-Norman, get out of there now! Norman?
-Edmunds, get in here. I need you for this.
-How much damage?
-To the craft? None. Not a scratch.
-Right. So you're saying it survived a high speed impact with water without a scratch?
-It's chipped.
-Chipped? The door? How can it be chipped?
-I don't know how it can be chipped, but it's chipped.
-I thought you said there wasn't any damage done in the crash?
-I did.
-Ted? Captain?
-Yes, Harry.
-We know how this craft got here. Where it's been.
-No. They don't represent a message. They aren't decorative at all. They have another purpose entirely.
-What?
-To conceal a small break in the surface of the sphere.
-So how do we get it open?
-Man is man, all he knows is man, and all he can think of is what he knows. The anthropomorphic problem. Good, Norman.
-So? What's the problem?
-Or it could contain some great benefit to us, some astonishing new idea or technology to help mankind.
-It could. But the odds of it being any use to us are against it.
-You don't know that.
-Let's say whoever made this thing is a thousand years ahead of us, just like we are to, say, medieval Europe. Suppose you went back to medieval Europe with a TV set. There wouldn't be any place to plug it in.
-Gimme a report, I want --
-Ladies and Gentlemen...
-Who is that? Where's that coming from?
-It's a single sequence repeated over and over.
-... spiralling out of the center, you see: "G" is one, "B" is two, "H" is three, and so on... when I got the message.
-What's the message?
-I have to tell you. It's strange.
-Ignorant. The thing's ignorant.
-Are you enjoying yourself, Harry, because I don't know what the hell you're doing.
-Not now, Beth. Please. I want to know who we're talking to before we start talking. Where's Edmunds?
-What?
-He's saying, "Take me to your leader." He wants to know who's in charge.
-With an "o". Harold with an "o".
-Edmunds? Get in here. I want to know exactly how this is being transmitted.
-She's not gonna know.
-She wired this system.
-A half a mile long?
-Captain, you know, I really appreciate you hauling us a thousand feet below sea level so we can watch this historical event on television.
-I'd also like it noted --
-What <u>about</u> a crowbar?
-Ted, get her away from the door.
-Look at this.
-Some sort of lead or something.
-Radiation shield, you think?
-What's wrong?
-We had considered it.
-Time travel. I always thought it was one of those myths... like Santa's reindeer.
-What would we be working on in the future that would make us want to come back?
-But what does it do? This... sphere.
-Can I stay, sir? I'm willing to risk it. I am. After what we just witnessed.
-Did you hear me, sir, because --
-How can he be missing?
-Sir, about leaving --
-They switched us over.
-To what?
-She says jellyfish are a delicacy. You know, I never knew that.
-From the sphere?
-I want a name. A real name. This thing's full name, rank and serial number.
-Captain, I personally feel we should ask much more substantive questions --
-It's not talking, it's mimicking.
-Edmunds?
-What is that?
-The sensors are picking up something outside.
-It won't register. It's too big to image.
-Well, until we know exactly what it is, nobody goes outside, understood?
-What was Edmunds doing outside?
-Resetting the sub.
-What sub?
-Beth, look, can I trust you with a little secret?
-I love secrets.
-That ULF report everybody's patting me on the back about?
-I've read it twice, Norman. It's brilliant.
-It's bullshit. The report's a joke.
-That's quite a secret.
-Do yourself a favor, Norman. Are you listening? Don't tell anyone what you just told me.
-C'mon, Beth -- that report's like the blind leading the blind.
-Because when we get down there --
-Wait -- down where?
-To the spacecraft. To investigate.
-Underwater?
-What do you expect? For them to bring it up here?
-We can't go down there. We're not prepared. That deep? That takes years of training, Beth. We're just scientists. Lab scietists. We wear ties and lab coats to work -- not oxygen tanks.
-Well, you must have realized the chances an encounter like this would happen here. In the ocean. 70 percent of the earth's surface is water, Norman. That's first grade geography.
-It never occurred to me.
-Well, let's pray that's the only mistake you made. Have you said anything to Barnes about this?
-The timing has never seemed quite right.
-Just keep your mouth shut, alright? This could mean everything to our careers, you know that? Don't jeopardize this.
-Isn't there a psychological term for that, Dr. Johnson?
-You're next, Norman.
-No. Go ahead. Really. Ladies first.
-400 years ago? I'm sure Christopher Columbus would've loved these accomodations.
-Norman!
-It could breathe in air and exhale cyanide gas.
-Where'd this come from?
-The library.
-We have a library?
-A bad one. It was the only book in there. Norman, come here, look at this.
-... when I was six, my younger brother and I -- we went swimming in the Pacific. At my mother's beach house. We both felt stinging, and when we came out of the water, he was wearing jellyfish head to toe. Killed him.
-My gosh, Norman.
-Yeah, it was awful.
-What about you? What happened to you?
-Me? Well, I was wrapped in seaweed. It itched for a while, but I survived. Beth, do you find it... curious that we're seeing all this life down here. Nothing, and then these enormous flocks of squid. Then jellyfish?
-Normally, I'd say no. Everything's quiet now -- no ships, no divers, no electricity. Makes sense. But what's curious is -- these aren't normal jellyfish.
-What do you mean -- not normal?
-They have six tentacles. A new species. And the squid too. They had no stomach.
-Wait a minute.
-What?
-You knew about the squid not being normal. Before Fletcher went out there?
-Yeah, why?
-What? Why...
-Beth --
-I mean, I'm not... I wasn't absolutely sure if... they --
-They are or they aren't. Which is it?
-What?... Wait. Don't... why are you --
-Beth.
-Nobody said... Norman... What? Why are you looking at me like that?
-I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't mean...
-I can't feel her bones. She's like a sponge.
-She was crushed. Feel her skin -- it's like sandpaper.
-Norman.
-What are they?
-... He lied to us. He left us down here.
-C'mon, Beth. Don't make this personal. He told me himself they were taking us back.
-Yeah, he <u>told</u> you. Think. What was Barnes doing before they cut that cable loose? He was on the phone. Except that cable is a thousand feet long, Norman. They would've broken off communication with us four, five minutes before they cleared out.
-So what?
-So who was Barnes talking to at the last minute? Nobody.
-You're jumping to conclusions, Beth. Don't get worked up --
-"Although advised of risks, all personnel elect to remain down for duration of storm to continue investigation of alien sphere and associated spacecraft. Signed, Barnes, USN."
-Where did you get this?
-In Edmunds' things.
-You went through Edmunds' things?
-He's not just a Navy captain -- he works for the fucking Pentagon.
-Calm down, Beth. Alright?
-Don't tell me to calm down!
-You said something to him, didn't you?
-What?
-Beth --
-You did, didn't you?
-Don't do this.
-You bastard.
-Yeah, okay. Sure, Norman.
-Beth --
-Where are you going in such a hurry?
-Forget the sub.
-Don't bother me, Norman.
-It's not worth the risk.
-It's also our only way out of here! It holds three people. And there's only three of us left now.
-You, me and Harry?
-You, me and Harry. He's asleep.
-Wake him, then. Let's go. Get outta --
-We can't. The storm. The waves would toss us around worse than we got down here. And we have four days of decompression when we get up top.
-Four days?
-Maybe you should go. To the sub.
-Why should I go?
-You should know how it works. Just in case.
-In case you die, too?
-I don't trust Harry to do it.
-I would. But my suit --
-You fixed my suit?
-You don't trust me?
-But I don't know how --
-The sub's a 100 feet in front of you. You see it?
-I can't see anything. How does it look? Still clear?
-What's the matter?
-You fixed this suit? Beth?
-Yes, Norman. I did. You're just nervous.
-My air isn't... I'm coming back.
-Still clear?
-... what do you mean? I'm in the ship.
-What are you doing in the ship? Beth?
-Getting food. We were out of food. what's wrong? You sound mad.
-Yeah, well, I get that way when I'm facing death and someone deserts me.
-Deserts you? Harry said he'd take over for me.
-You get it straightened out?
-What's Harry doing with your suit in there?
-Fixing it.
-Fixing it? But I fixed -- Where'd you get all that?
-The refridgerator.
-The refridgerator.
-It's a pretty common place to look for food when you don't think you have any.
-That wasn't in there before.
-We must've had it delivered then.
-Wait a second --
-1-800-Deepsea delivery. I hear they're good.
-None of this was here before.
-Did you look? It was on the top shelf.
-No, it wasn't. I swear none of this was here. None of it. You think he hid it? Earlier. He must've hid it.
-You think?
-You don't believe me.
-All I know is I opened that refridgerator --
-Damn it, Norman. I swear. I had a whole conversation with the man when he woke up.
-This being after you so carefully fixed my suit.
-You think it's me? You think I'm saying there was a conversation when there wasn't?
-I don't know, Beth. I wasn't there.
-Page 87.
-What?
-"Our fisherman frequently see some that are more than four feet long. Some skeletons of squids...
-Squids?
-After the attack, a Navy guy woke me up -- I don't know -- I thought he was an illusion. But I checked the tape, and Jerry said he manifested him.
-Manifested?
-He translated it wrong.
-Remember when we first spoke to Jerry, Barnes kept asking for Jerry's real name? But Harry never would? He didn't because he was afraid the screen would say "Harry", instead of Jerry. We weren't talking to an alien intelligence when we talked to Jerry, we were talking to Harry... or a part of Harry.
-What do you mean, a part of Harry?
-When did the messages start? The animals outside start showing up? After Harry came out of the sphere.
-You think, in the sphere --
-He acquired some sort of power. A power to manifest things.
-But how?
-I don't know.
-How can the sphere do that?
-I don't know, Beth. I'm not the fucking alien that built the thing. But it can. When Harry came out of the sphere, he mumbled something about page 87. How he would never read that far -- he was too scared to. Then you found the book, remember in your lab. Then in the cafeteria -- and page 87 talks about a giant squid...
-Which I told Barnes was attacking --
-It's his fear. The squid. He's manifesting his fears. Making them real.
-But why is he doing it?
-He must not realize he is. Like the Navy crewman -- Harry was sleeping then. He must've manifested his dream.
-His dream? You can't control your dreams. And you can't control your fears, can you?
-And that's the part of Harry that's being manifested.
-Looks like some sort of code.
-Diphenyl parlene.
-Something for burns.
-It's for motion sickness.
-Valdomet.
-Ulcers.
-Sintag.
-A synthetic opium analogue.
-Does it cause drowsiness? That's all we need. To get him unconscious -- put him under.
-Nothing about drowsiness.
-Tarazine?
-Tranquilizer. Causes drowsiness.
-Bingo.
-Riordan?
-Antihistamine. For bites.
-Damn it! Chloramphenicol?
-Antibiotic.
-Parasolutrine?
-How do you spell it?
-P-a-r-a-s-o...
-It's a soporific.
-What's that?
-Causes sleep.
-It's like a sleeping pill?
-"20 cc's of parasolutrine in combination with 6 cc's of paracin given IV produces deep sleep suitable for emergency surgical procedures... no cardiac side effects ... REM activity is surpressed... "
-How long does it last?
-Three to six hours.
-I'll just boost the doses.
-What? Wait -- isn't that dangerous?
-How fast does it take effect?
-Doesn't say.
-It's an idea.
-Beth --
-To be on the safe side. I mean --
-You want to kill him?
-You ever given an injection before.
-Thirty years ago. In residency. I passed out. You?
-I'm sorry.
-For what?
-Not believing you.
-What is it, Norman?
-Where are you?
-The sphere looks different.
-What do you mean, different?
-The grooves around the door -- they've shifted. And the pattern -- the fluids -- they look darker now.
-What was that? I couldn't hear you.
-Your watch.
-What's wrong, Norman?
-I'm feeling better.
-It's getting cold.
-You think I'd really drink that?
-You don't think I put something in it, do you?
-You put explosives around the habitat, I can't imagine what you'd put in a drink.
-How do you feel about snakes?
-Snakes? What do you mean, exactly?
-You know what I mean.
-Am I afraid of them? Not during the day. Sea snakes are diurnal. When the sun's out, they don't bite. Fortunately for you, I had on my watch. This is quite good.
-What are they doing down here? In the bathroom? Suddenly appearing.
-You tell me.
-Do you fear them?
-Don't you?
-Are you manifesting them?
-If I was, then I would've had to have gone in the sphere, wouldn't I?
-Did you?
-What's the phrase -- "keeping up with the Joneses"?
-Why did you go in the sphere, Beth?
-Same reason I put explosives around the habitat. For defense. For the power. To protect myself.
-Against what? Harry's unconscious. He's not a threat.
-No, he isn't.
-He can't manifest.
-No, he can't.
-Then why, Beth? Why go in? Why put out explosives? Why manifest the snakes?
-You think I manifested the snakes?
-Someone did.
-Beth you're losing it. C'mon.
-C'mon -- what?
-You're lying --
-Am I lying? Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure I'm lying? Then explain to me about the jellyfish. Earlier. Why did we see jellyfish? Harry doesn't fear jellyfish. You do. They're your fear, aren't they?
-But --
-And the snakes? You want to know about the snakes? You saw one outside earlier, didn't you? When you thought I had deserted you -- you were terrified.
-That's when you went in the sphere.
-One lonely, terrifying sea snake.
-You manifested that, Beth.
-Did I? Or was that you? When you were hiding in the bathroom -- all conspiratorially like you were -- you became frightened, didn't you? Terrified. Like you were with the snake earlier -- and suddenly you have snakes slithering all over the floor. You did that, Norman.
-You're insane.
-Am I? Or am I making so much sense that you're going insane?
-I never went in that sphere.
-You don't remember you did. But I'm sure you remember running like some fucking hero to get Harry, don't you? You remember that.
-Yes.
-You remember before you picked him up -- when you looked up at the sphere, you remember that -- when the sphere opened? That's right. But you can't remember going inside, can you? No, of course not. Harry couldn't either, could he? "Like everything's on the tip of my tongue", he said.
-That's bullshit.
-Is it?
-Beth, the message said Harry. "My name is Harry". My name isn't Harry.
-No, it isn't. Your name is Norman. But your younger brother -- what was his name? The one who was stung when you were younger. The one that died. The one you couldn't save. What was his name? "Mommy, we're going out to the ocean -- to go swimming." "But I don't want to go swimming, Norman. I'm scared." "C'mon, <u>Harry</u>, it'll be fine,
-Shut up, Beth --
-I'm not scaring you, am I Norman? I hope I'm not frightening you. The last thing I want to do is frighten you. You feel okay, don't you?
-It's not me, Beth. I swear. It can't be.
-Don't, Beth.
-But I have to, Norman.
-I promise --
-Promise what, Norman? Tell me!
-Beth --
-You think I'd belive you? Believe anything you might say now? After you lied to me about telling Barnes about my past. About my problems. My problems. Not yours. Not his. Mine.
-Don't, Beth. Please.
-It's your choice. Because it's not safe for you to be awake. To be walking around. To be thinking about things.
-It's not safe for you to be either.
-This is what I'm talking about, Norman. Don't you see? It's in you. This vindictiveness. This rage.
-Of course you're going to deny it. You want to blame someone else. You want to blame Beth. Because you hate Beth.
-Don't fuck with me, Beth.
-Beth!
-Where is it coming from, Beth?
-Beth, stop it!
-Then where's it coming from?
-Stop it!
-Beth?
-You can't stop it, Norman. You can't fight me.
-I know. You're too strong, Beth.
-Oh please, don't shrink me, Norman. Not now.
-I --
-Don't tell me about me. I already know too much.
-Beth -- gimme the gun.
-Oh, sure. Here. Anything else, Beth can get you? Some more chicken, perhaps. Let Beth check the fridge.
-C'mon --
-Top shelf, is it?
-What is that? What are you doing?
-What?
-You hear that?
-Hear what?
-Get away from me!
-Beth --
-Would it work?
-Yes. And I think we already know it will.
-How's that?
-Pussy.
-No. I don't think so.
-Well, think. Because there's footprints here that aren't mine.
-I don't get it.
-Well, what's your theory?
-Norman? Where's Norman?
-He doesn't wait for an answer.
-Pry the thing open? What are we -- neanderthals?
-All that banging and pounding. I don't know. We should think about making a good first impression.
-For who? The fish?
-It's empty. Why would someone build a ship like this?
-Then what is it?
-What are you looking for?
-Take politics, our views on abortion, the death penalty...
-When he woke up, he said we were out of food. He told me to get some from the ship.
-I never said that.
-Yes you did. Norman, I wouldn't leave you out there. You know that.
-We never even had a conversation, Norman.
-Jerry. Right. I said Jerry, didn't I?
-That's a hell of a mistake to make, Beth.
-I'm sorry. Slip of the tongue.
-Just in time, too.
-In time for what?
-What?
-Our habitat, I mean. This place can't handle another attack.
-Why are you looking at me like that?
-Like what? I'm not --
-You're staring at me.
-No I'm not. I'm not star--
-They're going to want answers and they're going to keep asking until they get them.
-We can refuse to talk.
-When did it come across?
-Minutes ago. Harry's trying to decode it in his room now.
-Where's it coming from?
-No idea. We have no surface support. It transmitted too fast to be coming from underwater.
-Is it coming from our own computer?
-How are you feeling, Norman?
-What?
-You holding up alright?
-Fine. I'm fine.
-Don't be defensive.
-I'm not being defensive.
-You sound defensive.
-Go ahead. Ladies first.
-C'mon.
-C'mon, Norman.
-Nice work, Norman.
-Our answer.
-To what?
-This answers one of our questions.
-Which one? Let me get the list out.
-This spacecraft was designed to pick things up. They see things they want -- these claws go out and bring it in. They come across this. This... <u>sphere</u>. Find it interesting, curious. They draw it inside to take back home.
-But on the way home, they miss their turn, go too far, into the past.
-I mentioned it in my report. Didn't you read the report?
-And we're just talking about three- dimensional creatures. What if it's five or six or seven-dimensional? So dimensional that we couldn't even see it to kill it.
-Don't be so optomistic, Harry.
-I'm completely serious. There is something very important missing from that spacecraft. You know what that is?
-Not a clue.
-A sign that the builders knew time travel through a black hole was possible.
-I don't follow you.
-On that flight recorder, they called the black hole an "Unknown Entry Event." They didn't know what a black hole was. Fifty years from now, men are going to build that ship in a very tentative, experimental way, with no knowledge that time travel through a black hole is possible.
-So, <u>we know</u>. We know it went through a black hole. We saw it. Norman -- when we'd get to the surface, we'd tell someone about the black hole, wouldn't we? It'd go in some report like some big discovery. So in fifty years when they build that ship, they'd make precautions for a black hole. <u>But they didn't</u>. The called it an Unknown
-Meaning we're never gonna get the chance to tell anyone.
-I can't believe that, Harry.
-I can't. If I had a minute to think, maybe, but I know you're wrong.
-Am I?
-Look -- we're under a lot of pressure, we're tired, you're not thinking straight.
-You mean, you think I'm cracking?
-No. I didn't say that.
-It's what's in that sphere, isn't it, Harry? Whatever you think is in that thing -- you think it's going to kill you.
-What is that? That noise?
-What noise?
-Harry, can you tell me about the sphere?
-What are you still doing here?
-You remember opening the door?
-You were all supposed to leave. You weren't supposed to stay down here.
-Tell me about the door. Do you remember how you opened the door to the sphere?... Harry?
-You don't understand about the sphere.
-Norman?
-What is it, Harry?
-What happens on page 87? Have you ever read page 87?
-Page 87 of what, Harry?
-I could never read that far. I never wanted to.
-These aren't half bad, Fletcher. You might have a second career coming.
-Getting anywhere with those?
-There's some sort of pattern here. It'll take a minute.
-Have you looked outside? Jellyfish. Everywhere. I hate jellyfish. Harry, what happened in the cafeteria?
-Don't do this. Don't psychoanalyze me. I hate squid. Period. Just like you hate jellyfish.
-You said something to me, before -- about how we were all going to die.
-Did I?
-You don't remember that?
-... you there? Norman?
-Harry?
-Norman, where are you?
-I can't breathe... Am I... clear?
-Thank you. My suit -- Beth said she fixed it --
-What happened to her?
-What do you mean? She's not here?
-When I woke up, nobody was here.
-She was supposed to be watching the sensor for me.
-Her suit's gone.
-Beth left?
-She's cracking, Norman.
-You didn't say that about the food?
-I was just in the cafeteria, there's plenty of food in there. Take a look for yourself.
-But why would she -- ?
-Wisconsin's your answer.
-Wisconsin?
-Navy transmission. They're sent from Wisconsin.
-How do we decode it?
-We just figured, you know, the three of us -- we need to... work together through this.
-The three of us.
-That's right.
-What is it?
-It's the squid! Stop it!
-Did I kill her?
-I don't think so.
-Fine.
-We're never gonna make it.
-How much time you figure to get to the surface?
-Two and a half minutes. Once we're in the sub.
-I can't reach her.
-Push her, c'mon.
-Missed.
-Hold on.
-Hurry, Norman. Four minutes.
-Three fifty-six, three fifty-five, three --
-C'mon, Norman!
-I'm trying to keep balance with --
-Gimme a second --
-Just pull her -- down like inside -- Harry, work with me here!
-Her legs are in the way.
-Get her out of the seat, I need room to sit. Harry?
-You know how to work this thing?
-No idea.
-Well, press something!
-Less than a minute, we're never gonna make it.
-Nine hundred feet to surface.
-How's that working out, by the way?
-Good. Thank you. Now that I have it on. Why are you laughing? You don't even know what that means.
-There is one possibility.
-The power allows us to manifest our fears, right? What if we feared the power to go away?
-You mean forget?
-What'd you say to him?
-To who? Arthur? Nothing. Nothing that Norman doesn't already know.
-What does Norman already know?
-She told me what you said, Norman.
-What is it, Harry?
-It's just like swimming, Norman... You know how to swim, don't you?
-Easy Ted, we're not mining gold.
-Alot like. You know, I noticed it before, but I didn't...
-English?
-You don't think it does? I think it's rather obvious.
-Is it some sort of joke? Like one of those hoaxes?
-A spacecraft half a mile long -- with 500 tonnes of coral on top of it? Someone went to a lot of trouble. Try again.
-But it's impossible.
-Why would this ship carry instructions in English?
-Think about it.
-All the facts you need are right in front of you.
-Gimme a minute here... I think I've got it.
-Do you?
-If it is an alien spacecraft --
-An American spacecraft? Half a mile long? And buried 400 years? Yeah, good theory, Harry.
-We take a weeny little wedge, bang on it a couple of times, and bust off a chunk of the metal. Yet any spacecraft -- even at a low velocity, say 200 miles an hour -- crashes into the water -- it's gonna be like hitting concrete, it would crumple like paper. But there isn't a dent to be seen anywhere. Not even a
-Meaning?
-Meaning it didn't land in the water.
-Please. It must have flown here --
-It didn't fly here. It <u>arrived</u> here.
-Arrived? From where?
-Looks like a design, some writing, maybe. Maybe it was sent to meet the spacecraft with a message.
-Hey, go easy on the salt, will ya? We're not a bunch of icy streets here.
-Salt's good for you, Ted. Helps you from getting impotent.
-Well, if it's a discharge --
-If it is a message, it's probably a substitution code. I'll work on it.
-... I asked myself, why would the sphere be using a code? If you're trying to communicate, why use a code?
-See? No code. What'd I say?
-What'd you say?
-Good idea, Ted.
-Don't gimme that psychology bullshit, Norman. Psychology isn't a science, it's superstition. It's a bunch of soft, subjective theories without any hard data to back it up. With an intellect like this, emotions don't mean shit.
-Norman Johnson.
-Does this mean what I think it means?
-It's over, sir, The storm has cleared.
-The ships?
-How are the others?
-The others, sir?
-Beth and Harry?
-That whole time -- I couldn't stop thinking of what Harry was saying earlier...
-What was that, sir?
-Any other bags, Dr. Johnson?
-No other equipment? Scientific instruments?
-No, they didn't say --
-Captain Barnes wants to see you right away, sir.
-Captain who?
-Barnes. He's very eager to meet you. Been calling us every half hour to see if you're arrived.
-By the way sir, I've read your report. I think it's brilliant.
-What report?
-You mean they haven't told you yet?
-I'm in psychology. Was. Still am really, just been a while. I treat aircrash survivors.
-Oh, so you're that Dr. Johnson.
-You've heard of me?
-Well, everybody's been talking about that report you wrote.
-What report?
-Huh?
-What report?
-You mean you don't know?
-Must be another Johnson then. Been flying so many scientists out here -- can't keep everyone straight.
-Who's everyone?
-Physicists, mathematicians, geologists, you name it.
-Geologists? At a plane crash?
-Strange, isn't it? In the middle of the ocean no less.
-He wasn't feeling well.
-You want me to try?
-Strange, isn't it? You know -- how it would have a button.
-Earth doesn't have a patent on buttons, Ted.
-He's manic, Norman. You know that? This reliance on Harry is misplaced. You hear me? Totally misplaced. He's overlooking things. Obvious things.
-It's not some fucking substitution code, it's a direct visual representation.
-You mean a picture?
-Take a look. I rearranged the numbers. Put 'em up to the light. Go ahead. Squint at it.
-I don't see anything.
-Squint harder.
-Please, Ted.
-Try this one.
-This is like nursery school.
-Don't you see it? It's a picture of the creature.
-The creature?
-Well, how about we wait and see what Harry comes up with?
-Well, he's polite.
-You want to put him on your couch, Norman. Grill him about his childhood?
-Frankly, Ted, I'd be much happier if Jerry was just a cold, emotionless intellect.
-What was it?
-Barnes didn't know. Couldn't get a reading.
-Has Harry spoken with Jerry?
-You think Jerry has something to do with what killed Edmunds? With what's out there?
-Jerry isn't hostile, Norman. He said earlier -- we were his friends --
-What kind of a crash was it?
-You seen my suitcase?
-There's nothing on the news about a crash. Did he say what airline?
-He didn't say much at all. Honey --
-In the closet. I don't understand, Norman -- why would they call you?
-Don't be so supportive, honey.
-Well, I can't imagine five years of unemployment --
-Four. Four years --
-Four years of unemployment would look too good on a resume.
-Keep watching the news. Are you watching the news?
-There's a U.S. Navy car outside, Norman.
-What?
-Was it a military crash?
-I don't know.
-I'm Han Solo, Captain of this vessel. Who's in charge then?
-Well, we'll see...
-The Empire must have gotten here first.
-The planet has been totally blown away! It would have taken a thousand ships with a lot more fire power than I've ever seen... If the Empire had a new weapon that could do this... I would have heard something... I'd know about it.
-Well, now you know... The enemy is on the move. We haven't much time.
-Well, I've brought you here. What now?
-We have to find he rebels... What we're carrying belongs to them.
-No, not anymore.
-Well, for one reason, we don't have your other five thousand.
-Who's going to pay me then?
-I think there are some things we should talk about.
-How much do you think she's talking about?
-A million at least... If this robot has information related to the destruction of Organa Major, you'll be able to name the reward...
-Luke's got a point... ... Fear is their greatest defense... I doubt if the actual security there is much greater than on Aquilae or Sullust, and what there is is most likely directed toward large-scale assault.
-Kid, you take the glory and the good intentions and I'll take the reward.
-Fear is their greatest weapon.
-You have your father's style. You've done very well.
-We're into the second perimeter. They'll be coming out to blast us shortly. I was wondering if you had some kind of a plan or are we going to try to blast our way in?
-Check your data banks for all the information you have on Imperial procedures. Both of you will have to learn...
-We're going to get in by studying Imperial procedures? I don't like it.
-I'll get the information.
-... and I want you to start cleaning the equipment out of the scan- shielded compartments.
-Darth Vader is on this system. I can feel him. I can feel the Kiber Crystal.
-Is that good or bad?
-Don't look at me. I'm just a pilot. I got you here... You've got to do the rest.
-There is a greater risk in staying here, you know. If you don't find the princess, then the whole trip was for nothing... wasn't it?
-That's straight through the central core... up toward the top of the city... Once you've got her, avoid the main transports, they'll shut down immediately. Your only chance is through the service shafts. There are no sensors there... All right now, get going, you don't have time. I hope you can remember everything.
-We'll be back before you are, old man.
-Good morning!
-What do you mean, 'good morning'? Do you mean that it is a good morning for you, or do you wish me a good morning, although it is obvious I'm not having one, or do you find that mornings in general are good?
-Sorry, but that was the only way to get you down.
-Couldn't we have tried to think of something else first!
-I'm Luke Starkiller, guardian of the Bendu.
-Oh, so you're a warrior then?
-Who are you anyway?
-You're General Kenobi?!? The Jedi knight! The commander of the White Legions?
-I don't see why. I don't believe we've ever met.
-I know who you are. Stand up so that we can talk properly. You're embarrassing me. I'm not that important.
-I... I'm not a Bendu Officer. I'm not even a startrooper.
-I know that.
-You saw through me?
-You could put it that way.
-I assure you my intentions weren't bad.
-I know your intentions. I probably know much more about you than you realize. In many ways you're a lot like your father. He was an indulgent man, but a clever warrior. Now what brings you out here?
-I'm afraid I've gotten too old for this sort of thing.
-But you must! I can't do it alone. I'm not at all like my father. I'd never make it.
-I already know you think you're worthless. I recommend you learn to think of yourself in a better light, for what you believe you are is what you become. I haven't been involved in anything like this for many years.
-But the Sith Lords are involved! Whatever information this R-2 unit is carrying, it must be awfully important. They're probably looking for him... I'm no match for the Sith. This is a Jedi's work. This is your responsibility!
-You were right. It is my responsibility. The Force of Others brought the message to you and then it brought you to me.
-My father used to talk about the Force of Others. But he never told me what it was...
-Let's just say the Force is something a Jedi Warrior deals with. It is an energy field in oneself, a power that controls ones acts, yet obeys ones commands. It is nothing, yet it makes marvels appear before your very eyes. All living things generate this Force field, even you.
-You mean I generate an energy field?
-It surrounds you and radiates from you. A Jedi can feel it flowing from him... ... from here!
-That is not a human decision, not your or mine.
-What do you mean?
-Luke, I'm coming along to do what I can, but I'm tired and I'm depending on you to get us through.
-But you're still a powerful Jedi. You don't need my help.
-A Jedi's power is measured by the amount of the Force that is stored within him, and I have little of the Force left in me.
-How can you store an energy field within you?
-When a creature dies, the force it generated remains. The Force is all around us. It can be collected and transmitted through the use of a Kiber crystal. It's the only way to amplify the power of the Force within you.
-Don't you have a Kiber crystal?
-I had one, but it was taken at the battle of Condawn...
-That's where my father was killed.
-Yes. It was a black day. One of my disciple's took the crystal and became a Sith Lord. It was a black day. The few crystals that remain are in the possession of the Sith Lords on Alderaan. That's how they've become so powerful.
-Do the Sith know the ways of the Force?
-They use the Bogan Force.
-Like Bogan weather, or bogan times. I thought that was just a saying.
-We don't have that kind of money. How much do you think I can get for the speeder?
-This is the last place. Shouldn't we just take what we can get and think of something else?
-When we get Artoo's message to them, you think they'll try to rescue the princess?
-I doubt it. It would be foolish for the rebel forces to come out of hiding. I know your feelings. You'd best forget them. It's for your own good. There will be no saving her from the prisons of Alderaan. It's the heart of the Sith. The Bogan Force is the most heavy there.
-But she's a member of The Twelve Families. How can they hold her?
-What's wrong? What's happening?
-Are you all right?
-Are you sure you don't need it?
-I rarely use it any more. I have the Force. The Force is more powerful than any pistol. You shouldn't put too much faith in that weapon. Work on becoming aware of the Force... learn to feel its presence within you. Try to sense what it's telling you. It's the only thing you can rely on.
-What do I do?
-What is it?
-But she is the only link between us and the hidden bases.
-You mean we should go after her!...
-I can't see! How can I fight?
-Try to feel it. Use the Force...
-I can't do it. I'll get hit.
-See, once you let yourself go you can do it. You'll get it.
-What about the princess?
-You go after the princess. I am an old man and would be of little help. I must try to find the Crystal.
-The Kiber Crystal.
-Of course, where you been kid?
-That's no battle, kid... They're just sitting there!
-I'll tell you, Luke, and this is between you and me. The star force isn't all it's cracked up to be. Frankly, it's a bore, and it's going to stay that way as long as this system is neutral...
-But you always said things were so great at the academy... What happened?
-The academy is fantastic... Of course, they won't teach you anything about flying you don't already know. Most of the instructors are very conservative pilots. You can fly circles around them... but there is a lot on the scientific side that is down-right amazing, and you get a lot of discipline... but after you graduate, don't join the star force -- go free-lance. It's
-At least you're doing something... I'd give anything to be in your position.
-You're Starkiller?
-Yes, sir.
-Have you been checked out?
-Six hours, huh? Well, that's your ship there. You're blue five. You stay glued to me. I don't want any independent operations out there. Personally I think it's foolish for them to be sending fresh kids out on a job like this. This is no joy ride we're going on.
-Blue Five, does that glare bother you?
-I'm right behind you, Blue Leader.
-Blue Five, break off your cover attack. It's too late. Make your own run on the exhaust port. Do you copy, Luke?
-Yes, sir, but I can get him...
-No reply on any circuits... It's drifting on a point twenty-seven skew. It's not close enough to identify.
-Alert squad five, but hold them until we know what it is.
-Should we alert the Sith Lords?
-I'll make a report later.
-As close as we can make out, it appears to be a Corellian gypsy vessel... It's not under power.
-We don't get many visitors. Let's take a look at it.
-Put that thing away or you're going to get us all killed.
-Yes, your highness. I'll let you open it then. It won't be too long before they figure out what happened to us. This has turned into a brilliant escape!
-Here come six more... grid two!
-There are only three or four left.
-All the data banks in Artoo are still secure.
-Then I think we're due the reward you offered... and it had better be substantial after what we've been through.
-When Artoo has been safely delivered to my forces, you get your reward. You have my guarantee.
-What's that little 'droid' carrying that's so blasted important?
-The plans and specifications to a battle station with enough fire power to destroy an entire system... Our only hope in destroying it is to find its weakness, which we will determine from the data I stored in Artoo.
-We captured the plans in a raid on the Imperial shipyards, but we fell under attack before I could get the data to safety, so I hid it in this Artoo unit and sent him off.
-Where are you taking us now anyway?
-The fourth moon of Yavin. I've given the coordinates to Chewbacca.
-I don't see how we're going to find anything out here. This terrain is hopeless.
-We must hurry to the base. We have little time before the Death Star arrives.
-What about us? Are we to wait forever? Is our reward to be blown to bits on this forsaken system, while your fleet mounts some suicidal attack on that Death Star? Part of my reward is that I be around to spend it.
-Organa Major is a rebel system. There will be quite a few starfleet patrols between here and there... It could be a little tricky if you want to avoid them... ten thousand.
-You got yourself a ship. We can leave as soon as you're ready.
-Who's the pilot?
-I'd keep that thing close just in case, if I were you... I've been around from one end of the galaxy to the other and believe me this Force of Others stuff may make for good religion, but there is no substitute for a good weapon at your side.
-You don't believe in the Force?
-I found it... It's just not there.
-You can't! We've come this far. We must find them...
-Maybe you should just drop us off. I'm sure we can find someone willing to take the risk.
-No, it's impossible... No one, and I mean no one would venture anywhere near the Alderaan system... I'm a free booter, not revolutionary. You're aboard the wrong ship, son!
-Maybe the fact that no one would go there voluntarily could help us. They probably don't think anyone would dare try.
-Well, I practice a lot...
-You're good with 'remotes,' but how are you against something living?
-Between his howling and your blasting everything in sight, the entire city is going to know we're here.
-This isn't going to work.
-Why didn't you say so before.
-Something has happened to them. Let's try this way...
-Let's try this way! Holy Maker.
-I think she's going to be all right.
-Is he afraid of the water?
-Watch it! Move back.
-It's only light that doesn't affect it. Solid things, like rocks, can hurt it! Fire above him!
-Get to the ship!
-I don't pick up any life form concentration down there. She'd better be right.
-They must be shielded somehow. I'm sure the base is there.
-You're a good pilot... I've learned a lot from you... I wish you...
-I noticed you were having some problems, Blue Five... I thought I'd help.
-A Wookiee broke loose up here, but we've subdued him... There is a lot of damage, and three, no four, casualties...
-We'll send a squad up.
-No need, everything's under control.
-With four casualties?!
-The... ah door's jammed. Give us a few minutes to get it fixed.
-Enough! I already know about the data you've intercepted, but its' too late. Whatever information you've gathered will be destroyed... You will come to know such suffering as only the Master of the Bogan Force can provide...
-You'll get no information from me. You have no authority... the council can't hold me!
-The 'Death Star' has become operational. There is no force in the universe that can stop us now.
-They'll find its weakness.
-No!...
-What is it? What's going on? Where are we?
-I am Luke Starkiller at your service.
-Are there medical facilities on Yavin?
-And you?
-I... I don't know. I guess I never thought about it... I just want to help. I want to be in on the attack. I want my own ship.
-First thing tomorrow morning you're going to check those condensing units on the south ridge.
-I will, but I'll have enough time to transmit my application first.
-You'll check the condensing unit first... and you're not going to bed until those 'droids' are completely cleaned up...
-But you promised! I've saved enough money and now you have the extra help ... you promised!
-I said we'd see. And as it is, I was forced to borrow your academy savings to buy the new 'droids.' When you've saved it up again, I'll let you go.
-You used my savings! You stole my savings. If my father were here...
-Not unless you could get me into the military academy at Anchorhead.
-I'm sorry, sir, I'm only a 'droid,' and not very knowledgeable of such things... not on this system anyway. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which system we're on.
-That's all right. There is nothing anyone can do about it. You can call me Luke.
-There's a lot of carbon scoring here. It looks like you boys have seen a lot of action...
-You've been in the Counter Wars?... Against the Empire?
-That's how we came to be in your service, if you take my meaning...
-Tell me where you've been. I am going to become a startrooper and fight in the wars. My father was a Jedi! Were you in many battles?
-According to my father's tapes, this is the spot where General Kenobi lives, but the instruments just don't match up with the landscape... There is no doubt about it, we're lost...
-If you don't mind my saying so, sir, I don't see how anyone could live in this forsaken place.
-What happened? I'm sorry, sir, I must have taken a bad step...
-Can you stand? We've got to get out of here before those Tuskens come back.
-I can't make it. You go on, master Luke. It doesn't make sense for you to risk yourself on my account. I'm done for.
-I think we're going to need them. Blast it!
-Sir, I have a couple of extra circuits. Perhaps they might bring something.
-Let him have it. You're winning anyway. It doesn't make any difference.
-Level five, Detention block A-23, cell 2187. She's still alive...
-See Threepio... do you copy?
-I read you sir.
-You're back. What happened? Never mind. What's going on?
-I'm afraid we're not plugged in at the moment, sir. We've had some problems.
-Are you safe?
-For the moment. We're in the main hangar. Artoo is trying to plug into the system now.
-Wait a minute, slow down!... That's better. They're where? They what? They are? Oh, no! We're going to be mashed into conduit before this is over...
-Holy Maker, Threepio. I forgot...
-Are you there, sir? We're going...
-Thank you, sir. Your kindness is greatly appreciated, but if it's at all possible, Artoo and I would like to remain in your service.
-You got some guts for a rich kid. I guess you and me could be buddies.
-What an honor...
-What makes you think... you'll make... squad leader, Rico ?
-Something... I've got...you don't.
-You rich kids... are all the same !
-Wanting it doesn't make you the best one for the job.
-Oh, yeah ? I don't see anyone else here with the chops to lead.
-Our love will grow, dear, year by year...
-Funny how they always want to be your friends after they kick your guts out.
-It's what I deserve.
-Whad'ya talkin about ?
-I joined up for her. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for her. I'm a fool.
-I say we all go to the laser parlor and get cut together.
-No, this hurts.
-Mobile Infantery rules !
-Lieutenant's bought the farm. Where's the Sarge...?
-Dizzy says you two knew this Rasczak character in Buenos Aires...
-He was our teacher... He was great.
-No way. Big K taught me I ain't executive material.
-Jeez, we musta killed a million already...!
-We got reinforced. Most of'em just got outa boot...
-We'll take this high ground. Lookouts there and therte and up there. If the bugs come upstairs in this neighbor-hood, we'll be the first to know.
-Got it. Fleet tactical wants to know where they can deploy the skimmers.
-Mr. Barcalow, save power, don't waste it on workers... Ace, tell Aardvark we're on our way...
-Saddle up, Roughnecks !
-Rico, did you give the recruit permission to remove his helmet ?
-Sir, yes, sir. Breckinridge reported a helmet malfunction, and I asked him to show it to me, sir.
-Are you rated to repair a Marauder power suit, Rico ?
-Sir, no, sir.
-Then why did you order your man to remove his helmet during a live fire exercise ?
-Do you freely admit to the charges made against you ?
-Sir, I wish to reconsider my request to drop out, sir.
-Sorry, son. I can't do it. You signed the 1240/A. It would be illegal.
-You still haven't kissed her yet ? Don't lie.
-What's the hurry ?
-Did you read her mind ?
-Yeah, but I want Carmen.
-Don't think about it... go on instinct.
-Statistically speaking you should've accidentally guessed right by know.
-How do you make him do that ?
-Ten of clubs. You still gonna sign up for Starside R&D ?
-Passport to the Universe. Who wouldn't want that ?
-I've been thinking about applying for Federal Service, too. Fleet, maybe.
-Your father will never let you.
-I'm eighteen. It's my decision, I think I'd make a pretty good pilot. I've good great reflexes. You need that for maneuvering, you know.
-Only 1 in 14 male applicants make it through stellar navigation. So what do you think your chances are ?
-Eight point... no, uh, seven...
-If you can't do those numbers, you haven't got a chance.
-All I know is Carmen's going to be a citizen, and I don't think it'll work out for us if I'm not.
-I don't believe it !
-Please continue, Sergeant.
-Johnny, I'm sorry it had to be your unit on Planet P. That mission had a very low survival probability...
-Bugs laid a trap, didn't they ?
-You don't approve. Well, too bad. We're in this for the species, boys and girls. It's simple numbers, they have more, and everyday I have to make decisions that send hundreds of people like you to their deaths.
-Hope you're ready for more. We're going back to P to capture that Brain.
-The Roughnecks are always ready, sir.
-I hear they need a new Lieutenant... Want the job ?
-You always told me you couldn't do human...
-Are you alright ?
-So what are you doing later ?
-Everyone is going to the dance. Aren't you ?
-I'm all ears.
-Johnny, this is Zander.
-Hey ! What are you doing here ?
-Assistant insructor... You must be some kind of a hot stick. Should I call you "sir" ?
-It's amazing, us running into each other like this. Maybe it's fate.
-In simulation, my supervisors could never keep up.
-This isn't simulation anymore. Take'er out easy, cadet.
-Oh, yes, sir. Vector ?
-Or...?
-They revoke our flight status.
-Thanks. You read my mind. Third watch always seems to last forever.
-Profile's wrong... there.
-No, I replotted the course. It's more efficient this way.
-Three weeks aboard a starship and you know it all, huh ?
-You know I was talking to Captain, Deladier, and she said...
-Don't change the subject. Am I right ?
-Well, whad'ya know...
-Don't mess with the boss. So what'd the captain say ?
-She got a command... and she thinks we oughta team up officially and crew for her. She thinks we're good together.
-I want to be part of the best flight team in the Fleet...
-WHERE IS IT ?
-THERE ! GRAVITY FIELD... IT'S BIG !
-Everything coposetic, Lieutenant ?
-Johnny, wait...
-Let's disregaed rank... Everybody hear that ? Rank is not an issue here.
-I was thinking. Maybe we should get married, Carmen.
-You weren't thinking...you were dreaming !
-If we're gonna be a team, why not be a real team ?
-There's a war on. I want a command, I want my own ship, you do, too...
-So ?
-Fleet encourages marriages among flight officers. You'd probably get a promotion out of it.
-Funny...
-I'm not kidding. Marriage is -
-No, funny there's almost no wounded at all.
-Carmen...?
-I'm sorry, Carmen.
-No, I... Oh, Zander, I'm a fool.
-Where are you going ?
-A funeral.
-That girl who died on the way up ...his girl ?
-Yeah.
-How do you feel about him now ?
-I don't know, Zander.
-I thought I was dead. Lucky for me you jokers showed up, eh ?
-It wasn't luck. Rico ignored the mission objective to rescue you...
-Zander, what are you doing ?
-Just giving you something to remember me by, baby.
-Good for you.
-She's flying starships !
-Who ?
-Marco's sister. Can you imagine maneuvering half a million tons through crwoded space lanes... You gotta have nerves of steel ! Reflexes are critical
-Eeuch !
-Well, if that's the crop, that must be the gastric caecal...
-35% on the math final ! No one could be that dumb with numbers.
-Well, at least you didn't lose your lunch over a bug. How embarassing.
-Who cares about bugs ? You can't go anywhere if you don't know math.
-Don't be so sure. I like you even if you are dumb with numbers.
-Then how come you won't hold hands with me at school ?
-I don't want everyone to see.
-Why won't you kiss me when we're all alone ?
-How come that's all you talk about anymore ?
-You can't walk me home.
-Why not ?
-I thought you were going to help Carl.
-Carl can wait.
-What's he got against me... I mean, I 'm a teenager. You can't be a citizen when you're only a teenager !
-It's not you, Johnny. Your parents are rich they don't need to be citizens, and that stuff means a lot to my dad. He's a veteran.
-Well, if your dad doesn't like me, how come we're such good friends ?
-Isn't it great to be in love ?
-How do I know if this is love ?
-Romance is just a vestigial biological response to procreation...
-Wait, I want to talk to Mr. Rasczak.
-None at all... We won.
-He just got accepted to the Fleet Academy. Isn't that great ?
-Yeah, sure, I guess.
-No, I mean if he can get in, maybe I have a chance.
-What are you talking about ? We both know you're gonna be a pilot.
-Zander is going for pilot, too.
-Johnny Rico, you're jealous !
-I can't help it.
-He's nothing like you.
-Are you the boy for me ?
-Everyone's looking... we shouldn't...
-Who cares ?
-I love you, Carmen.
-I wonder where Carl is. You don't suppose...?
-He was in the group with me. I guess he didn't...
-Hey, Carl, what's wrong ?
-Games & Theory ? That's Military Intelligence... Oh, Carl !
-Let's all make a vow. Let's swear we'll always be friends no matter what.
-You're late.
-Poor boy. I'm sorry your parents were so mad.
-You talk to Carl ?
-I'm gonna miss you.
-I'll miss you, too, Johnny.
-Com'on, just say it. Try it on for size.
-Do you mean it ?
-Shhhh...!
-What happened to your hair ?
-What do you think ? Everyone did it when we got our wings. You don't like it, do you ?
-It's funny. Sometimes I forget. Then it hits me, and I can't stop crying.
-I try just to be happy I'm still alive.
-You don't look very happy to see me.
-Should I be ?
-What's wrong with you ?
-Johnny...! I thought you were dead !
-...I'm sorry.
-We gotta choke on the mud and the blood and Fleet can't be bothered to spit.
-I thought you were KIA, Johnny...
-That was just a mix up.
-You look so... I don't know, you look like you've really been in it.
-Almost got knocked out of the sky over Big K.
-Well, look at this. The three of us back together again.
-Take care, wilya Johnny ?
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA !
-Which way ?
-Pilot Trainee Ibanez reporting for duty, ma'am.
-Take the number one chair, Ibanez. Follow all instructions of you supervisor.
-Alright, take her out, Ibanez.
-Good work, Number 1. You'll do.
-Plasma, ma'am... from the planet.
-Where's Lieutenant Barcalow ?
-This is Rodger Young, we're going down... Repeat, this is Rodger Young, we're going down...!
-Leave me, Lieutenant ! That's an order !
-Steady as she goes, number one. Prepare for warp. Number two, design for Jupiter orbit.
-Report.
-Where'd it come from ?
-Trajectory indicates it came out of the Arachnid Quarantine Zone.
-This isn't random or light. Someone made amistake...!
-A lot can happen in three minutes.
-What ?
-You were drifting. Flip six, three hole. On one, got it ?
-Hey, Rico, wanna dance ?
-Actually, Diz, I promised Carmen...
-You still gonna play for Brazil ?
-Looks like, unless Tokyo lets me start.
-Well, anyone who gets you is lucky.
-Can't we just be friends, Diz ?
-Sure.
-Uh, look, Diz...
-Guess you gotta go.
-Hey, amigo, come chow with me.
-No thanks, Diz.
-What's your malfunction, Rico ?
-You are. I joined up to get out on my own. And you had to tag along.
-What ? You think I joined the Mobile Infantery because of you ?
-Man, they're defended... no way in.
-Flip six, three hole.
-What ?
-Cover me.
-It stinks, you goin.
-I don't stay where I'm not wanted.
-If they didn't want you, they woulda kicked you out, amigo.
-Well, see ya.
-You take the stroll down Washout Lane, you're only proving one thing, Johnny.
-What's that, Diz ?
-Way to go, amigo !
-C'mon...
-Nah, I don't do that anymore...
-You used to dance...
-I said no. Want me to pull rank ?
-Hey, Diz...
-Planet P ? What kind of name is that ?
-Diz, see what you can do.
-What frequency ?
-All bands.
-I bought the farm, didn't I, Johnny ?
-No, you're gonna be alright, Diz !
-Johnny, people get hurt... people get killed in the Federal Service. If something happened to you I don't know what I would do...
-Good good, then it's all settled.
-Why did you go and do that ? He was all ready to go Zegema Beach !
-...CUT OFF !
-Don't talk like that. Get yourself home as fast as you can.
-We'll all have dinner. I'll fix your favorite.
-Oh, my, what's that ?
-Looks like rain.
-This came for you today. I presume on your request.
-Have you lost you lost your mind ? I'd rather take ten lashes in Public Square than see you ruin your life.
-Mr. Rasczak.
-Rasczak... Silly name. There ought to be a law against using a school as a recruiting station !
-No, Mr. Rasczak doesn't do that at all. He sorta discourages you really.
-Good, because you're going to Harvard, and that's the end of it.
-I'm eighteen. It's my decision.
-A trip to the Outer Rings. Whad'ya think of that ?
-Wait a minute ! Carl is doing his Federal and he isn't inferior. He's the smartest kid at school !
-You'll resign, and that's all there is to it. It might look bad, but if that's the worst you suffer...
-I won't quit !
-I'm telling you, you will ! You're not going back. You're going to go on vacation !
-Well, it's just good to hear from you. What's up, son ?
-We must be right over the colony. Let's get some air support, eh ?
-Corporal, I want pulse cannons there and there ! Rifle teams, spread out along the ridge ! Sugar, bring up that flame thrower !
-Fleet's pulling the battle group back to safe distance... They'd like us to knock out those batteries, sir.
-I don't understand it, Lieutenant. It's not getting anything from 4th Brigade... not even their transponder.
-Gillespie, put in call for retrieval. We're off this rock. Gillespie, do you read me ?
-At 0821 we received a distress call from Planet P, priority code, requesting reinforcement...
-I thought 4th brigade cleaned out P.
-Owen reported the eradication of a low generation colony a month ago. That's why MICOM wants onsite assessment.
-Take your group down to P and have a look see. Leave the thinking to us, Lieutenant. That's not your job.
-My job is to protect the lives of my soldiers so they can kill bugs, Major, and if you're walking me into a trap-
-Seeing as how we're about all that's left of 1st Brigade, you'd have to call that an improvement. You top kick ?
-Are you kidding ? They always get killed. You want the job ?
-I always wanted to go to Zegema Beach.
-You knew the Lieutenant before the war... What was he like ?
-He was a teacher , kind of a know it all... Always had this little smile.
-Geez, I don't think I've ever seen him smile.
-Smith, GO ! McIntire, GO ! Flores, GO ! Rico, I'm making you sqaud leader !
-Sir, thank you, sir !
-The Marauder power suit will prevent serious injury, but if you are hit, you will be non-operational and your team score will suffer accordingly. Rico, has each member of your squad completed a weapons safety check ?
-Is that your signature, Rico ?
-Sir, yes it is, sir.
-No talking please. I'm going to ask you some questions. Please answer all questions truthfully. We'll know if you don't. Birthplace ?
-Are your parents currently citizens ?
-No, sir.
-Which do you think is more important, courage or confidence ?
-Courage, I guess.
-Please complete this sentence. I want to be citizen because...
-Who said you could grow up so fast ? Last time I checked you were only five years old. You had such a bright little face...
-Wait you two. Dad and I have a surprise for you that will settle this. Can you guess what it is ?
-I don't know what they teach at Harvard, but I think I'm pretty good enough the way I am !
-Johnny, please. Calm yourself.
-Well, yeah, sure...
-Hello... Oh, Johnny...!
-Hi, mom.
-Well, of course you should come home immedietly !
-Don't get any ideas. She's my girl.
-Best in the Fleet !
-You got something to say about the Mobile Infantery ?
-You heard me. Wanna make something out of it, private ?
-On whose authority, Corporal ?
-You're standing on my H.Q., Lieutenant !
-This is a Fleet-driven operation, son, and the Fleet thinks my boat will be safer on the high ground. You can have everything else, eh ?
-Rodger Young, prepare to receice outgoing fire...! I'll take the first group.
-What's your problem now, Lieutenant ?
-We're outa here. Lieutenant, get your men into the skimmers. This real estate's about to go buggy.
-What do you think you're doing ?
-I'm gonna save Carmen.
-That would mean a comlete disregard for the mission objective. They hang you for that, Rico.
-Let's go.
-Can you walk ?
-Not a problem.
-How bad are you, pal ?
-Alright, we're gonna carry you...
-Don't be a hero...
-This is Rodger Young... What's going on down there ? We're taking plasma ! We have Orion P-11 as clear !
-SHUT UP, SIR ! We need pick up now !
-What is your position ?
-Landing zone is extremely hostile. Come down on this transmission !
-Inside 4th brigade compound ? That's crazy !
-You. Tell me the moral difference, if any, between the citizen and the civilian ?
-The difference lies in the field of civic virtue. A citizen accepts personal responsibility for the safety of the body politic, of which he is a member, defending it, if need be, with his life. The civilian does not.
-The exact words of the text. But do you understand it ? Do you believe it ?
-Uh, I don't know.
-Mister Rasczak ?
-What is it, Rico ?
-I just wanted to say thanks 'cause History and Moral Philosophy was the best class I had this year.
-Well, it's not really my job to please. Hope you learned something.
-I wanna join up, Mr. Rasczak. I think I have what it take to be a citizen.
-Good for you. Go find out.
-Well, my parents are against it, and I know it's my choice, but I was wondering... What would you do if you were me ?
-Where'd you learn to do that, soldier ?
-Uni High Tigers, sir. Don't you remember ? I was captain of the team.
-All dead except one, sir.
-Kill the bitch.
-Yopu asked me some advice once, Rico. Want some now ?
-Yes, sir...
-Corporal, the Roughnecks are moving out for Planet P immediately. Get yourself squared away and report to Gillespie for logistics.
-Yes, sir !
-Rico, you're acting Sergeant now. My last Sergeant lost the com pack. Put together a search team and find the radio shack. We need retrieval.
-What's that look like to you, Rico ?
-Warm it all up ! Everything you got ! Levy, collect the big guns from the towers. Watkins, put General Owen with the wounded. Rico, where's my communications ?
-Sergeant, secure the boat !
-AAAAAAAAAAAA !
-Hit your jets, sir !
-Rico, tell'em to glass this goddam planet. I've never seen so many bugs upstairs at the same time...
-This is my farm. Get on the boat, NOW ! That's an order, Sergeant.
-Who is...'V'ger'...?
-V'ger is that which programmed me.
-Where is Lt. Ilia?
-Why does V'ger travel to the third planet of the solar system directly ahead?
-Find the Creator? <U>What</U> Creator? <U>Whose</U>...!? What does V'ger want of the 'Creator'... ?
-The Creator is that which created V'ger.
-Who is V'ger?
-The examination is a normal function.
-<U>Why</U>...?!
-The carbon-units infection will now be removed from the Creator's planet.
-<U>Why</U>?!
-The Creator has not answered.
-The carbon-units are not responsible for that.
-Disclose the information.
-Not until V'ger withdraws the devices orbiting the third planet.
-Kirk-unit, <U>why</U> do you not disclose information?
-Because V'ger is going to destroy all the carbon units on the third planet.
-They have repressed the Creator.
-Then V'ger must withdraw its orbiting devices.
-Our data is being prepared.
-<U>Answer</U>!
-The crews of the previous Enterprises were also carbon units. In what way is the life form in your vessel different?
-Carbon units are not true life forms... Do those images repre- sent how Enterprise has evolved into its present form?
-Yes.
-Carbon units have clearly retarded Enterprise's proper evolvement.
-What is Enterprise's proper evolvement?
-Enterprise would be unable to function <U>without</U> carbon units.
-What does that mean?
-Within you are memory patterns of a carbon unit. If I can help you revive these patterns; you could understand our functions better.
-Does V'ger object to the presence of the two carbon units?
-You said V'ger's purpose was to find and join with the Creator.
-A machine...! Then it had to be programmed. By <U>whom</U>...?
-By the Creator.
-To join, and become One with the Creator?
-As I stated, V'ger calls to the Creator.
-V'ger is announcing that it has arrived, sir -- that it's ready to deliver the information it was programmed to collect...
-'To learn all that is learnable.'
-And when V'ger melds? What will happen to you?
-Departure angle on viewer.
-It is a courier, Captain. Grade One priority. Non-belligerency confirmed.
-Deck four, Captain; Officers' Quarters...!
-Sir! Airlock four has been opened; a thruster suit is reported missing!
-Mr. Chekov, when do those devices activate?
-They reach final position in... Twenty-seven minutes -- mark.
-Tractor beam strength lessening, Captain.
-I'm taking over the Center seat. I'm sorry, Will.
-You are what...?
-You'll stay aboard as Executive Officer... a temporary grade reduction to Commander.
--- You, personally, are assuming command?
-Yes.
-May I ask Why?
-My experience -- five years out there dealing with unknowns like this -- my familiarity with the Enterprise, this crew...
-That's why you're staying aboard. I'm sorry, Will.
-We'll have to replace Commander Sonak. I'd still like a Vulcan there, if possible...
-None available, Captain. There's no one in fact, who's fully rated on this design.
-Programming ready?
-... but I still recommend further simulation study.
-Explanation, Mr. Decker: Why was my phaser order countermanded?
-Then you acted properly, of course.
-Thank you, sir. I'm sorry I embar- rassed you.
-You saved the ship.
-I'm aware of that, sir.
-Stop competing with me, Decker!
-Permission to speak freely, sir?
-Granted.
-I trust you will... nursemaid me through these difficulties, Mister?
-If our Executive Officer has no objections...?
-Of course not. I'm aware of Mister Spock's qualifications.
-Recommend defensive posture, Captain: Screens and shields.
-Captain, we've seen what their weapons can do. Shouldn't we take every possible precaution -- ?
-I advise caution, Captain; we can't withstand another attack.
-That's precisely the point, Captain. We don't know it will do. Moving into the cloud -- at this time, is an unwarranted gamble.
-How do you define <U>unwarranted</U>, <U>mister</U>?!
-<U>Computer off</U>!
-It's taken control of the computer...!
-The ship is under attack...! Man all defensive stations...!
-Why bring us inside? Not to destroy us; they could have done that outside.
-Captain, what's the next move?
-Well, Mr. Decker, it seems my bluff is being called.
-, if we do not provide V'ger with certain information, we won't have twenty-two <U>seconds</U>; the plan must be implemented upon arrival.
-Captain, we can't be sure that our... move... will actually save Earth.
-Mr. Decker... I will contact you every five minutes. Otherwise... inform Mr. Scott immediately.
-The fault is here, sir, not in the transmission. The antenna leads have been disconnected. V'ger never intended to accept a transmitted signal.
-Capture God! In order to retrieve V'ger's data, the Creator has to physically come here!...
-And plug the signal directly into the circuitry at this... ... point here, Captain. It should pick up even a tricorder playback.
-They may have attacked only as a warning to us, Captain. To keep away.
-We could have cut it off at the main computer...
-Captain... this probe may be a key a key to the Aliens.
-It's a programmed <U>mechanism</U>, Mr. Spock...
-Exactly. And you did have a 'relationship' with Lieutenant Ilia, Commander.
-Then V'ger believes the Creator to be a <U>machine</U> too.
-Forward motion, Captain...!
-Mr. Spock, what would V'ger need to fulfill itself?
-That transmitter is a vital link between V'ger and the Creator.
-Jim... he <U>wants</U> it.
-Hello, Ilia.
-I now the Captain meant no person- al insult.
-Negative control from inertial lag will continue 22 point five seconds before forward velocity slows to sub-light speed.
-Navigational deflectors inoperative...! Directional control also inoperative, Captain...!
-Was he difficult?
-No more than I expected Not as difficult as this. I'm sorry...
-That you left? or that you didn't say 'goodbye'?
-If I'd seen you again, would you have been able to say it?
-Lieutenant Ilia reporting for duty, sir.
-'Commander' Decker?
-And in you, too, Lieutenant.
-Time to impact...?
-Twelve seconds...!
-Five minutes to Cloud boundary!
-Mr. Spock?
-Transmit, Mr. Spock! Now!
-Thirty seconds to Cloud boundary...
-Fifteen seconds to Cloud Boundary.
-I appreciate the welcome; I wish the circumstances were less critical. Epsilon Nine is monitoring the intruder; keep a channel open to them. Where is Captain Decker?
-Maneuvering thrusters, Mister Sulu.
-Maneuvering thrusters, sir.
-Hold station.
-Ahead Warp One, Mr Sulu.
-Mr. Sulu, steady as she goes.
-Reduce magnification. Factor 4, Mr. Sulu.
-We're already two settings below that, sir.
-One hundred kilometers...
-Viewer ahead.
-Maneuvering thrusters, Mr. Sulu; ahead one third. Full sensor scan, Mr. Spock; they can't expect us <U>not</U> to look them over now!
-Hold station...!
-Clear the bridge, Captain...?
-Admiral, I've been hoping to see you. Maybe you can get through to those thick heads in Starfleet that...
-Why aren't the Enterprise transporters in operation, Mister Scott?
-We're hoping it's only a temporary problem, Admiral...
-Admiral, the Enterprise has just finished eighteen months redesign- ing and refitting. She needs testing, a shakedown...
-The crew hasn't had near enough transition time with all the new equipment. And the engines, Admiral: they've yet to be even tested at warp power. Add to that, an untried Captain...
-We're losing the pattern...!
-Reporting as ordered, Captain.
-Sir, I would appreciate Dr. McCoy absenting himself from this interview.
-You've reported that you felt strong thought emotions. A group of minds from a space vessel? Could you make out any plan, anything to do with Earth?
-Also -- there was nothing in your report about <U>why</U> you're here.
-I still contain fragments of my human half.
-And whatever you sensed out here....
-Let it drop, Bones. You are my Science Officer -- I'll expect an <U>immediate</U> report on anything further you learn or <U>sense</U> from here on.
-I have accepted service here as a Starfleet officer... sir.
-Do <U>not</U> return scan, Mr. Spock! It may be misinterpreted as hostility!
-Captain, I suspect there's an object at the heart of that cloud.
-They have... they <U>have</U> been communicating with us. I sense ... <U>puzzlement</U>. Why have we not replied?
-It appears that our message has been understood, Captain.
-The 'puzzlement' I sensed was fleeting... minor... ... as if carrying a sense of our insignificance, Captain.
-We are obviously confronted by a highly advanced mentality... yet they cannot understand who we are, or what we want.
-Recommend we proceede, Captain.
-No vessel could generate a powerfield of this magnitude...
-That vessel is generating a forcefield measurably greater than the radiation of the Earth's sun.
-Captain, we have been seized by a tractor beam...!
-We cannot break free, Captain. We do not have a fraction of the power necessary.
-Have you been able to analyze <U>any</U> of this...?
-They had a pattern to follow...
-... they may have followed it <U>too</U> precisely.
-Spock? Concerned about his chances?
-Bridge, cancel rescue teams. Spock, what in the hell are you doing out here!
-I am seeking answers, Captain.
-It would appear that the atomic arrays of these crystals store information. A remarkably efficient system.
-And these 'sensor-swarms' collect that data, carry it here.
-Klingons... our Epsilon 9 station ... and Ilia!! They seem to be more than just images...
-If this is their ship's data banks, where is the crew? Or is their entire ship automated?
-Were you right? Spock? V'ger is a living machine...?
-What should you have known?
-No meaning... No hope... And, Jim, no answers...! Jim, it's looking for <U>answers</U> <U>itself</U>!
-What answers?
-These read as identical composition... ... however, Captain, they measure several hundred times more powerful!
-Child...!?
-The orbiting devices would be controlled from the point, then...?
-Not for us?
-Has not, Doctor -- and now, because of what we are planning... will not...
-Captain, the orbital device will not be triggered for twenty-two minutes...
-The point...
-V'ger plans to literally <U>meld</U> to reduce both itself and the Creator to patterns...
-There's no way to know. V'ger expected it to be a machine -- some single entity. All of us here may be reduced into patterns...
-Spock, we <U>were</U> its answer!
-Yes, Captain. It needed our mortality, the fear of it, our struggle against it, our fears, our dreams...
-... and the 'foolish' emotions which drive us?
-You've received your appointment as Enterprise Science Officer?
-Based, I am told, on your recommendation, Admiral. Thank you.
-Why aren't you on board?
-Captain Decker requested I complete final Science briefing here before...
-Here at Starfleet...? The Enterprise is in final preparation to leave dock...
-Which will require twenty more hours at minimum, Admiral...
-Twelve! I'm on my way to a meeting with Admiral Nogura which will not last more than three minutes. Report to me on the Enterprise in one hour.
-To you, sir?
-Captain, we need further Warp simulation on the flow sensors...
-Warp Drive as soon as possible, Mr. Scott.
-Captain, it was our anti-matter imbalance that created the wormhole in the first place. It will happen again if we don't correct it.
-That object out there is less than two days from Earth, Mister Scott. We've got to intercept while it still is out there!
-Engineering... Status, Mr. Scott?
-We're ready, sir.
-Transporters Room and Chief Engineer Scott report trans- porter system fully repaired and now functioning normally, sir.
-Dock control reports ready, sir.
-Negative helm control, Captain! Going reverse on impulse power...!
-Starfleet signals, sir, growing in strength... They -- have Intruder on their monitors -- it's decelerating -- powerfield cloud beginning to dissipate...
-The third one is moving off too -- a fourth one is forming...
-Starfleet has been apprised of our situation, Captain.
-Evening, Annie.
-Cal...
-Annie...got an umbrella...?
-Nope.
-Then you'll be wet.
-Mom's expecting you for dinner tonight.
-I'll be there.
-You bringing your new friend?
-Sure plan to.
-He have any special dietary requirements...?
-He'll eat potroast and like it.
-Go you Huskies?
-You're doing a <u>Play</u>...
-...small town. I suppose. You have to make your own fun.
-Northern Books. What can I do for you?
-I need a typewritter.
-I want to rent this one.
-Why don't you buy it, only forty bucks.
-I have one, but they lost it.
-Who?
-The people in New Hampshire.
-That's why they have state borders... whyn't you get a replacement?
-Well, it had sentimental value.
-You buy the typewriter, I'll get it all spruced up, good as new. Better than new. It has some history.
-Other one has history, too. I wrote my play on it.
-You wrote a play on it, what play is that?
-You haven't heard of it.
-What's it called?
-So young, so unlined, so full of promise. So innocent.
-I quit.
-You quit.
-I quit the movie.
-Why did you quit?
-Actually, I'm not sure if I quit. I think that I got fired. I'm such a liar. I never could tell the truth.
-Don't be so hard on yourself.
-I just got kicked off my first movie.
-Well. Everybody has reversals. If you were never down how would you know when you were up?
-That's good. That's really good. You have a gift for words.
-You like my play.
-Yes.
-Why?
-It's about life.
-Could you tell me when's the next train?
-No, of course, you don't want to talk about it.
-I...
-No, of course, you want to get out of town.
-Ever wonder why the dalmation's the symbol of the firehouse?
-First organized fire department was on the border of Dalmatia and Sardinia in the year 642.
-But why the dalmation?
-You get what you pay for.
-That's true. You grow up here?
-...that...that he <u>prayed</u> for a second chance. But...do you see?
-Yes.
-That, he says, there <u>are</u> no second chances...that he's been presented what he <u>prayed</u> for...and: he's ruined it.
-Yes...
-But, but but but...
-No, no, I see...
-That: in an act of...
-Yes...
-Of <u>mercy</u>...off...
-I understand...
-...that...he <u>sees</u> that...
-As the Old Mill goes around...
-Of course, of course that's what I'm <u>saying</u>. As the Old Mill goes around, he <u>sees</u>...
-Of course.
-...that it has been vouchsafed to him.
-That's that's that's that's beautiful...
-Well. It was a pleasure meeting you.
-And likewise.
-Goodbye.
-So that the Old Mill, the Old <u>Mill</u> represents...the wheel of fate is that too...
-No, no. Of course, that's <u>exactly</u> what it represents...
-The, the, the, the <u>sanctity</u> of everyday things...
-Everyday things...yes.
-For example, he's just come back from a <u>fire</u> and he...um... That's a fine house. You look at that, and you know, there's nice people that live there.
-I live there.
-Really. With the porch swing and everything...
-I don't mean to impose, but...do you think we might...
-...that's what the swing is <u>there</u> for...thats its <u>purpose</u>, <u>isn't</u> it...
-...such a pleasant sound.
-Mmm.
-Cause, cause, it's...it's the <u>simple</u> things, that...
-Yes...
-...who...?
-Well, I guess I'll...get down to the station. It was lovely meeting...
-Hi.
-What are you doing? I love your script.
-They decided, I decided to, to...You love what?
-You're still here.
-I...I decided to give it another chhh...
-In fact, in fact, in fact, I'm not sure if I'm giving <u>them</u> a second chance, or they're giving it to me. That's the truth. The truth's best, don't you think?
-You'd know better'n me.
-How can you <u>say</u> that?
-It's in your script...it's about getting a second chance. Innit? "You <u>can</u> go back..."
-I <u>can</u>?
-You bet your life. "The mill wheel goes around...some times it's even under water -- then it rises up, as high as it can go..."
-But how do I...how do I do a film called "The Old Mill," when I don't have an old mill?
-What I need to <u>say</u>...
-<u>Yes</u>...
-About <u>conflict</u>...
-That's why you didn't want to take the <u>Mill</u> out...you've...
-...the, the, the symbol of the fire...
-The <u>Firehouse</u>...
-I...
-But but but but but it's better <u>without</u>...
-<u>How</u>...?
-Wait wait wait wait wait he gets a second chance, do you see? And <u>you</u> get a second chance!
-No, I don't...
-This is, look: Go you Huskies. ...what <u>I</u> see you saying, is: you have the two elements, Fire and <u>Water</u>. The Firehouse, and the <u>Old Mill</u>...Do you know, you could...
-What are you <u>doing</u> tonight?
-Me?
-Tonight, tonight, I...I have play practice...
-Hello.
-I thought you had Play Practice.
-Don't look good for "Trial of the Heart."
-Well, then, it don't look good for the Huskies...
-What happened?
-Cast stood me up.
-Uh huh.
-"Rise, one need not bend the knee before the throne of justice."
-What?
-What are you doing down there?
-My glasses fell apart. I lost the...
-...lost the screw...
-You like kids?
-Never saw the point of 'em.
-Me, too. You have a paperclip?
-Paperclip?
-Fix my glasses.
-Gonna' be good as new.
-Great. Who is it...?
-"Room Service!"
-Would you put on your cl... Just leave it outside.
-I'm gonna be your typist for this evening.
-Oh, God...
-And here's some hydrogen peroxide.
-I don't drink.
-It's for your finger.
-Hi.
-Thank you.
-Read the card.
-"To the love of my life, Love, Doug"?
-The other side.
-Don't you think you should put them in water?
-Why?
-Start? This isn't a good time.
-Oh. That's alright. Then I'll come back at a better time. What would be a better time?
-Later on.
-Then I'll come back, then.
-You, um, you, um, you going out with your fiance?
-You can do it.
-Because I'd met someone else.
-Oh <u>okay</u>.
-You believe that?
-But it's absurd.
-So is our electoral process. But we still vote.
-Do you truly believe the electoral process is absurd?
-I used to go out with a politician.
-You used to go out with him, you broke up with him?
-Sure did.
-Why?
-Time for a change. Keep your margins straight.
-Yes.
-Good morning to <u>you</u>...whatsa matter?
-I can't get it to come out right.
-What's the scene...
-It used to be the Old Mill.
-What've you got?
-What about...what about...it's so presumptuous of me, to be, to be telling <u>you</u> how to wr...
-<u>Please</u>...
-Ah. Ah. Ah...
-...he stuck a fishhook in it.
-She <u>realizes</u> -- it was not the fire which <u>hurt</u> him...that the <u>true</u> hurt was her. Was her...
-...yes.
-...her unbridled sexuality. That he...
-...yes.
-Because it's about <u>purity</u>...
-That's...that's <u>exactly</u> what it's about. Take...
-That's right...
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Where you going?
-Going home, yeah. I told them what you said...
-What?
-I didn't say anything special, I was just talking out loud.
-...how <u>else</u> can you talk?
-No, that's true.
-Yessuh. Joseph Knights printshop. Vacant for thirty years.
-Is it...
-Would you like to <u>see</u> it? I've got the key back at my store...
-How's your star?
-Gosh, you look nice.
-What would you do with it, the printshop...
-Press still works.
-It does?
-Best way I know to get ink on your hands.
-You'd do the newspaper right here.
-That's something a man could do...?
-You know what else a man can do?
-Pelting down out there.
-Good morning.
-Sleep well?
-Yeah, you?
-Oh yeah.
-I've been thinking: look at this: we live up here...
-Yes...
-We could live up here, live up in the country.
-Now you're talking...
-...and we could get up every morning...
-...well, we do that <u>anyway</u>...
-And come to the printshop. You know <u>why</u>...?
-...the better to eat me with, your dear?
-To print the newspaper. And I'd come to <u>write</u>. To write. To write. Right here in the office.
-Not without a rolltop desk.
-Well, I could <u>get</u> a rolltop desk.
-Happen to know where there's one for sale.
-Lookit that, up already.
-What is it all about?
-What am I gonna do?
-You got to tell em that you saw the accident. Don't you?
-I can't do that. If I tell them, they'll, if I <u>tell</u> them, they'll try Bob for rape, they'll...it'll ruin his career...
-But that's what happened.
-But it'll stop the movie.
-Maybe they'll be <u>other</u> movies.
-They'll...they'll <u>blackball</u> me...
-Carla was in the car, right?
-I...I <u>think</u> that's right...
-What are you going to do?
-I'll wait for you...I'm proud of you. I'll <u>be</u> waiting.
-If I go to jail...?
-I'm glad you asked...I'll <u>tell</u> you what was wrong with it. And what was wrong with it was it was behind the times. Now: You want to bring <u>business</u> into this town? You have to plan for a Waterford that Does Not Exist. Not at the moment, <u>no</u>...
-Morning, darling.
-S'Okay, Maude. You know your lines...?
-Well, I for one, am glad of a little diversion and I'm glad they're here...
-Annie: you stick to the Amateur Theatricals. This isn't quite the same thing, you see? This is Big Business, in which, our Life... ...s'no less a <u>commodity</u> than...than our...
-Water or mineral deposits.
-We on for tomorrow night?
-After Drama Group.
-Drama Group?
-Tuesdays and Thursdays. But after Play Practice, I'm yours.
-And I might have something important to tell you...
-What is it, a surprise?
-Waal, <u>there</u> you are, and Have I Got Some News for <u>You</u>...
-What, what what are you doing here?
-Yes, that's right.
-Look at this. Do you know what they're offering? Look at this. They treat us like we're their backyard. Do you know what they're offering for three days to close down Main Street?
-What are they offering?
-Ten thousand dollars.
-That's so beautiful...
-"The mill grinds the grain, but the grain is not destroyed. <u>Although</u> it is altered..."
-Hi!
-We had a date.
-We did...?
-Where have you been...
-I've been thinking.
-Where have you been, we had a date for <u>three</u>...where have you <u>been</u>...?
-I have to tell you something...
-Well, I <u>know</u>, because they <u>told</u> me you were with that writer from the, you see, this is what I mean, the whole <u>town</u> has been warped by the, by, by the presence of the movie company, they holler, and we jump, you have a <u>date</u>, they call, you're doing business nine o'clock at night. It isn't...
-I wasn't doing business.
-Oh. What were you doing, then, that's so important that you shouldn't call your fian...
-It's all over between us, Doug, I'm sorry, but that's the truth. I've found someone else, and, it's very serious and it's the end. I'm sorry. It isn't <u>you</u>, j...
-Wai...It's so serious you couldn't call to tell me you'd be...what...? What did you say...?
-It's all over between us. I've found someone else.
-Let me review here: You're...what are you...you've...it's all over between us?
-I'm sorry.
-Who is this person that you've found?
-He works on the movie.
-No. Don't tell me that.
-I'm sorry.
-I know em, I don't know what order they come in...
-Maude, this <u>man</u> wrote this <u>play</u>!
-That a fact. Now, is it a good play?
-Yes, Maude, it is. It is a <u>very</u> good play.
-Well, then, what's he doing here?
-Mornin', Doc...
-He had a hard day. Ann's deserted him for some guy on the movie.
-Well, they don't always leave with the ones they came in with.
-Big day last night.
-Cluster of events. Don't see something, ten years, allasudden. Three times inna night.
-What courthouse?
-Courthouse back in town.
-Town ain't got no courthouse.
-What?
-Well, where do they hold court?
-But, does it have to be an Old Mill?
-<u>Wonderful</u> scr...
-They're holding it for ransom.
-What's an Associate Producer credit?
-It'll hurt the box office.
-He's on the ph...
-Mitch, th'Marty Rossen, I'm here in...
-Wat...
-Rewrites that Bob Barrenger requested... the "dead horse scene," the...
-Marty, it's Howie Gold on the coast, he needs your confirmation on a request for money...?
-<u>This</u> is your movie, this is small town America.
-A jacket for five dollars...I can buy this town for fifty bucks.
-You told me that about the <u>last</u> town.
-Yeah, but they never made a movie here.
-I'm bleeding, Bill, I'm <u>bleeding</u>...
-...why am I here...?
-Waterford, Vermont.
-...you got to get me that street for nothing...
-I will.
-Because, because...we don't <u>have</u> to build an Old Mill -- they <u>have</u> an Old Mill -- <u>yeah</u>. It's on a stream -- that's where you <u>put</u> a mill.
-...they run on water.
-Fourteen year old girls.
-It's Marty on the Coast -
-How big is this horse?
-Fifteen hands.
-What is that in fingers...? Just kidding, get me this horse.
-This horse is booked.
-Have you got the new pages on the Old Mill? Hey, Bob.
-Hey, Tommy. Heard your wife's having a baby.
-That's right.
-You know who the <u>father</u> is...?
-They think it's your First Wife...
-Okay, look, you, what is she, 19, twenty...oh Christ...
-Uh, <u>look</u>....
-Then she wasn't in the car. <u>Say</u> it.
-She wasn't in the...
-...upset and impressionable... Get me the Mayor...
-...I was just talking to that girl in the other room.
-...overcome by the events around her, the presence of a high-powered...
-I never touched her. My mother's gr...
-Stay ready. Stay by yourself in your room.
-What'll I do for fun?
-Whyn't you learn your lines?
-Bobby, don't say anything.
-I saw Desert Sun, I wanna tell you...
-No, I was, I was, I was just <u>learning</u> on, it's a...
-How'd you like working with Richard Hill?
-I loved it...he...
-Isn't he...
-That makes a <u>lot</u> of sense, Claire, that makes a lot of...list...listen, cause the audience isn't <u>coming</u> to see your breasts. They are coming to see you <u>act</u>. What are you doing this evening...?
-Mornin, sister.
-We missed you in Church today, Frank.
-The prices are going up.
-Well, I'm pretty impolite. Would you like some?
-I don't eat vegetables.
-Well, I can offer you something to drink?
-Sure, what have you got?
-What do you drink?
-Bourbon and Milk.
-How old are you?
-Then I hope you wouldn't tell anyone that I gave you this.
-Nice town that you've got here.
-You want to see it better, we could go out on the roof.
-...wouldn't that be dangerous?
-Are you all right...?
-I...
-Her...
-What else?
-I mean, okay, fine, but it's a motion <u>Picture</u>.
-Thanks, honey, but, next time, bring two, save yourself a trip.
-The people came to see a motion <u>Picture</u>. ...hold on...
-He's saying, what are you saying, Bobby?
-Tell it with...
-Tell it with <u>pictures</u>.
-Tell it with pictures. What I'm saying...
-You look at: girl comes in the room, an <u>apron</u>, a brown <u>bag</u>, what is she...? She's a...
-She's a...
-She's a <u>waitress</u>.
-What...
-What I...
-Hold on: what Bob is saying, you don't need...
-You don't need "Hi I've just come from the restaurant."
-You can go...
-Alright. Let's... Page five, the fucking <u>horse</u> dies. You know, <u>she</u> could be in the movie, she could, she's got a good face, she could be the Doctor's...uh, why does it have to be his, uh, <u>wife</u>...? It could be his...
-Bob, Bob, stick to the business, will you?
-No, you're absolutely r...
-And you go start with <u>that</u> stuff in <u>this</u> town...
-Are you Okay?
-Well, yeah, I'm fine, I reached over to, the girl had to be home, I don't know, it's a <u>schoolnight</u>, something...
-<u>Bobby</u>...
-No, I...just...just Joe, just Joe...
-Joe, the writer?
-So you see what I'm <u>saying</u>...the movie is about <u>purity</u>...
-I've always seen that.
-We're going to discuss the scr...you wanna come along...?
-If your memory was as long as your dick, you'd be in good shape. How long since you almost went to jail for this shit?
-How could she turn on me like that? I thought she liked me.
-Can we try to keep our pants buttoned and get out of this town in one piece?
-You do...?
-Is Mr. Barrenger there...?
-You guys had better leave us a...
-I'm very sorry to...
-Well. What seems to be the...?
-I have to ask you these...um. You have a valid drivers license...?
-Of course he...
-Well, now, Mr. Barrenger, I'm very sorry, in fact, I'm as sorry as I could be, <u>but</u>...
-I'm an attorney, if there's anything you have to say to...
-...I have to give you this <u>ticket</u> for damage to city property. I'm really sorry, Sir, it's a formality, I hope you'll excuse...
-It's a formality. Any case of damage to city prop...you hit the control box of the new stop light, and... They'll, uh, these things <u>happen</u>, I hope you're alright, and that you're feeling...
-Well, Officer, don't worry ab...
-I've got scene <u>twelve</u>... Shouldn't you be in school...?
-It's night.
-Aren't you ever in school?
-There's other things to be learned.
-Izzat so?
-The Mayor's outside.
-What's his name?
-And I have Mr. Barrenger's Tuna B...
-Thank you.
-I, well, you know, I tried to take him, in his room.
-I think he's moved...
-Nobody touched me, I was at home.
-Who is it raped you?
-Nobody.
-No.
-It's a mistake. It's all over. I'm sorry that we've inconvenienced you.
-I wasn't in the car.
-I want to tell you something, Wally, he's a pussycat. <u>My</u> thing is to see everybody does what they said they would and I have to do that. Now: what is this you want <u>Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars</u> to do what you're being paid to, you already <u>signed</u> you'd do...? What is that?
-I think I should talk to my agent, Marty, you and I should, we should, really not discuss...
-Get him on the phone.
-He's on the Island, he'll be back on...
-I want you to hear this.
-I really think that <u>business</u>...matters should be discussed between you t...
-You have no right to...
-You can't treat me like this. I'm not a child!
-She's absolutely r...
-Matzoh! Are you Jewish?
-I, actually yes.
-I love Jewish men.
-Why?
-Look.
-I feel so <u>close</u> to you...
-Look, look, I like you <u>very much</u>...
-I like you, too.
-But not that <u>way</u>...
-But we...
-You have to hide.
-Who is that...?
-That's my...
-Oh.
-Will you help me out...?
-Hi. I hope I'm not disturbing...
-She came in here, wait, she...I was giving her a massage...wait...Wait! She came in here...she... ...with respect...she took off her clothes, and she got in <u>bed</u>, I told her I could not--we don't know each other, you see...
-...we had a script conference...
-Claire, when did you...
-I just...
-We're just talking about the...
-Don't let me dis...I'll just...
-This is Joe White.
-What, what's there to <u>think</u> about? The scene's perfect...I, I get to say...
-Yes, but, Joe, <u>Joe's</u> been, well, he's just been having a few, uh, "Thoughts," about...
-How many times in your <u>life</u> do you get a speech like that?
-Yeah.
-This scene is why I'm doing the movie. "Look at the mill, Frank -- look at the way it goes around...<u>half</u> of the time the darned wheel's under water, but..."
-Yes, yes, but...
-"...but still it rises up...It rises up, Frank, high as it can go."
-What...?
-I can't do it, Walt.
-You can't do what?
-It isn't <u>right</u>. I can't...I...I know I si...I, they, I don't know if they told me it was in the con...
-<u>Forget</u> the contract. Claire. What is it?
-I don't want to take my shirt off in that con...What are these things that they're asking of me...? Wha...wha...wha... I try to be good; the only thing I care about is...
-I know that...
-I know that, Claire. I, we <u>all</u> know...
-Everybody, they, they, they treat me like a...
-...<u>no</u>, they don't...
-...they treat me like a <u>child</u>. I, I...to bare my <u>body</u>.
-Fuck flowers, we aren't talking about flowers, we're talking about a human being.
-I...I...
-...I can't do it, Wally...
-Listen to me: Elanora <u>Duse</u> was playing Hamlet in London in 1905, and Royalty could not get a ticket. She said, "I'm not doing the seven shows a week I signed for." She said, "I cannot bare my soul seven times a week. I am an artist. I'll do four shows a week." The greatest actress of her time. You know what her Producer
-What?
-Nothing. He held her and he wept. Because he...
-...I...
-...I know...I know...
-...and, and, and did she...? And she did the seven shows...
-Wally...
-I know, it's the hardest thing in the world, and it seems everybody wants...
-...yes...
-...wants a piece...
-Yes.
-And you know what...?
-We, we have to give it.
-Not now, I'm talking to the press. Claire!
-What? I have a five-o'clock plane to catch.
-I, uh... I've always thought so... Well, you just get an idea, and try to find the best way to express it in pictorial form. I've written a letter to the studio and to SAG protesting... Bill: get a copy of that letter...! I just wanted to tell you that I am <u>past</u> chagrined, I'm <u>mortified</u> at the way you were spoken to...
-I...
-An artist of your caliber...
-I'm only trying to...
-I know what you are, I am <u>so</u> sorry that you...when I read that script I said there's only one person to play that part.
-The minute I read that script I said...
-I know...
-...she works with <u>animals</u>, she...
-...yes...
-...she has a <u>home</u>...
-...I know, I'm so...because I said: yes, a woman who...the...the community <u>respects</u> her. Please don't go. Please don't go. What can I do but beseech you...? Trauma, <u>toil</u>...when are we free of them...? When...?
-He treated me as if I were a child...
-Claire: As an interpretive artist to a creative artist: Stay with me. I need you. We start to shoot tomorrow and then it belongs to <u>us</u>. Stay. Stay. Tonight...when... When they've gone. Let's talk. Let's <u>really</u> talk. We could, we'll have <u>dinner</u>, we'll...a bottle of some bad red wine, we'll get spaghetti, and we'll...
-Hello.
-...he's right here, Mr. Mayor...
-I'm so comfortable with that, Walt, I can't <u>tell</u> you...
-No, are you kidding me, Bob, not at all.
-"Bring it in on time and there's more where these came from. Marty. P.S. I want to talk to you about a product tie- in..."
-I'll put the, in your r...
-Somebody make a note. I want Li..., for the broad...what does she like? Lilacs. Okay. A truck of lilacs when the broad comes. And get something for Bob Barrenger, get him, what does he like...?
-Bob Barrenger...Bob...Bob Barrenger's in this movie?
-That's cor...
-He's staying here? Bob Barrenger is staying he...?
-You show Claire these sketches?
-Yes.
-Did she throw up?
-That isn't very nice.
-Oh, really, then why don't you sue me in the World Court. Did she like the costumes?
-I can't tell.
-Why not?
-She won't stop crying...
-She doesn't want to Bare Her Breasts.
-She Doesn't Want to Bare Her Breasts...what, in the "Nude Scene...?" What are we paying her three mil?
--- she's got 'religion.'
-Kiss my ass.
-What?
-Who got their heads cut?
-Uh. Bob Barrenger, fella, <u>Cameraman</u>...
-You said <u>three</u>...?
-Where you off to?
-I, uh...I'm leaving.
-Why?
-I perjured myself. I told a lie, and I ruined my life. That's what I did... I don't suppose you could help me with <u>that</u>, could you? Turn back the <u>clock</u>, or something? Give me back my, give me back my <u>purity</u>, I don't suppose you could just wave your magic wand and do that, could you...? But what <u>is</u> truth? Eh? In't that
-Aren't you supposed to set an example for people...?
-Nope. I'm just supposed to hold people's hands, while they die. What'd you say your problem was...
-...I just swore my life away, back in that...
-...little woman has gone crazy about our dinner party...City Council...? What's the trouble...?
-Main Street.
-Doug, the traffic light...
-I have to talk to you.
-...he's the producer of the movie.
-I want you to hear this, pal... Forget the overages, <u>forget</u> Ten Thousand Dollars for three days to two weeks. You know what it would cost for them to <u>build</u> this set? Two Million Dollars! Now:
-Doug...
-Arrest him.
-What is the...?
-Conspiracy in Statutory Rape? Okay. Of whom?
-She was in the car with Bob Barrenger last night. And she was injured coming home from a love tryst, so...
-Well you guess what. The Mayor sent me. I have your Mr. Barrenger with a history of...
-...a history of <u>nothing</u>, he was acquitted...
-Moral turp...you're on my home court, friend, I have the Mayor and the town behind me, and forget making your movie: I may own the studio when I get through with you: I got a civil suit, I got rape, I got collusion...
-You've got nothing, you don't have a witness...
-And I've got a witness! Your Mr. White saw the crime.
-He told you that...
-He didn't have to tell...
-I want to talk to him. Would you ex...
-Oh, you're his attorney, too...?
-Later for you, pal.
-Hi.
-I'd prefer it if you didn't speak to me.
-I...
-What's in the case?
-And what was it you wanted to say?
-I'm looking for the writer.
-What the hell are <u>you</u> so down about?
-My wife's going to have a baby.
-How about that.
-Mmmm. You have children?
-No. No, but we're planning to.
-Could you tell me where a fellow goes to get a drink in this town?
-Hey, you've gotta eat a peck of dirt...
-Half a buck I'd close it down...it's per...you know, it's perfidy, you got your Barrenger, molesting little girls...
-He should be put in jail.
-Half a buck I'd put him in jail...
-You should.
-I had a witness I would.
-A witness to what...?
-You know, the rape, to...even to the accident...
-You mean <u>with White</u>...?
-What?
-You mean you need a witness in addition to White...?
-Who's White...?
-The writer.
-He saw the accident...?
-Sure.
-He saw the girl in the car...
-We can't shoot in the Old Mill.
-We can't shoot in the Old Mill.
-I just saw the Mayor, he said anything we...
-You told me they had an Old Mill here..
-Town's out of lilacs.
-That, that's <u>your</u> life's blood on the st...
-I...
-Get Mitch Cohn on the phone in New York, tell him she's breaking her contract and we're very up...
-I...
-We're very upset with her. Get someone to <u>double for her</u>, her tits, the tits scene, call L.A. I want to see some <u>pictures</u> of the women's <u>tits</u>. Of their <u>tits</u>.
-I'm very sorry I...
-...the finest people you could ever hope to work with... You have the new Old Mill pages?
-I can't find the writer.
-...totally false...<u>totally</u> false. He is the, I would say the most responsible human being I have ever...
-I have to talk to you. My wife...
-Not now.
-My wife is going to have a baby, and...
-I'm trying, honey...I'm...look, is your Ma, when is your <u>Mom</u> coming? Oh. What did the <u>midwife</u>...?
-Did you, where are we going tonight...?
-I...?
-Some, you were, you were going to make a reservation for us? Where's my schedule? Where are we <u>booked</u> tonight?
-My <u>wife's having a baby</u>...
-You what...? Is that on the callsheet, is that on the callsheet, or is that <u>personal business</u>? Ah, Christ. <u>Marty</u>...Are we <u>paying</u> you?
-Does it have to be an Old Mill? Where have you been?
-I was in New Hampshire. I was at the Old Location.
-We can't shoot the Old Mill.
-We're out of money.
-Halo? <u>Marty</u>? What would they have used instead of an old mill? We need it tonight. Marty? Yeah you were saying...?
-I can't write it. I lost my typewriter.
-Grace: get Mr. White a typewriter.
-I can only write on a manual.
-I know the feeling.
-Well, you know, you know, that's a lie, I, I...
-Grace...
-That's a real <u>fault</u>, I...
-Hey, Joe...Good. You know B...
-It's about a man who gets a second chance.
-I want to make a good film.
-I know you do.
-And maybe it will be a better movie without the old mill, I...
-Hey, it's with the Gods. We don't have the money, we have to write it out. The best or not. And that's a lesson. You get your typewriter yet...?
-Grace, get on the other phone, call that girl: well, call her, and have whatsername send up some <u>nosh</u>...what do you like to drink...?
-I don't drink.
-What's the...
-I can't.
-Why?
-I hurt my finger.
-The movie's about <u>purity</u>. So we don't <u>show</u> her breasts. We show them to <u>him</u>, her back to the camera.
-Know? They could draw them from memory. You're fantastic. What a find you are. Get outta here. We need the Dead Horse Scene.
-I'm gonna nail it.
-I've got a date.
-Let's speak English. You've got to help the side.
-You want me to lie.
-Thank God, it's up to you, Pal. Sup to you...
-I'm out.
-I don't getcha.
-The girl was in the car.
-I treated you like a son or nephew.
-It's not <u>you</u>, it's...
-No, what is it?
-I have to tell the truth.
-...that's just so <u>narrow</u>...
-The girl was in the car.
-Then you're finished in show business.
-So be it.
-And my company sues your ass for sixty million dollars.
-For what cause?
-Hi!
-<u>Siddown</u>!
-I really don't think you should be talking this way to a lady.
-Well, you call him, and call me back, but this is it, pal, you <u>fuck</u> with me, and I'm going to tear out your heart and piss on your lungs through the hole in your <u>chest</u>. And the best to Marion... Where have <u>you</u> been?
-I...
-You can't write it?
-She doesn't show her tits!!! She doesn't show her tits. The breasts symbolize motherhood, the audience...
-How do they know that, you told them?
-No.
-What did you say to them...?
-I didn't say anything to them.
-How do you know you saw it?
-I don't know.
-Well, then, you didn't see it, right...?
-I don't...
-You didn't see it...
-I...? I saw it. I was there.
-I was walking down the street...I remember, I was writing a...
-What glasses were you wearing? Were you wearing your reading glasses...?
-I...
-What is that...?
-...the house, the 1835. The original <u>kitchen</u>, of course, burned in 1960, as part of a spate of fires...
-It's lovely.
-A spate of suspicious fires which were in fact the inspiration for the formation of the Waterford Huskies...
-My oh my.
-You cool the broad out?
-I left that for you.
-Oh yeah, I'm really gonna eat carbohydrates...
-What'd you do, <u>build</u> this...?
-How was your flight?
-We're flying over pigs, we're flying over <u>sheep</u>...
-Did you bring Bob's weights?
-They're coming Fedex...
-What's in all the bags?
-My undies, cause, you can't get this picture off on time I'm gonna' wet myself.
-I'm gonna' bring it off.
-<u>Stop</u>...
-That's what I said.
-How are you getting on with these fine people?
-Marty...
-It's just a formality.
-Eight hundred grand to show her tits...
-<u>Pay</u> her.
-I don't got the money.
-Find the money.
-I got a company...give us a million dollars, put their product in the film.
-Well, I've enjoyed it, too. Any... any...<u>any</u> time... What does the woman want from life...?
-She wants eight hundred thousand dollars to show her tits.
-Pay her off.
-We don't have the money.
-<u>Find</u> it.
-If you do the product placement...
-IT'S A COMPUTER COMANY...IT'S A COMPUTER COMPANY, <u>BAZOOMER</u>-<u>COM</u>?
-"Bazoomer <u>dot</u> com."
-I CAN'T PUT A COMPUTER IN A MOVIE SHOT IN 1895...you wanna tell me how I'm gonna' do that?
-Actually, the art department had some ideas on...
-NO NO NO NO NO, PAY HER OFF. DID YOU HEAR ME?
-We got the permit.
-Is that one hell of a kid?
-He just saved us eight hundred thousand bucks.
-He's got a gift for fiction.
-She wasn't in...you were al...
-There's no witnesses...
-Yeah?
-Wally...?
-Mmm.
-That we could use you in and I think that's quite a fine trade-off all around and an ill wind that blows somebody good.
-Yes? Hello, Mr. Mayor. Nothing, just an, an unfortunate... It's the Mayor, he's saying...
-Do something.
-The chairs go, the Lazyboy goes...
-...we don't have thirteen at table...
-Bob Barrenger, Claire Wellesley, the <u>director</u>...
-Waal, then, invite someone <u>else</u>, then...
-I don't want to invite someone else, because this is the <u>most</u> <u>exclusive</u>...
-Where the hell have you been...? It's...
-I've got two days to get this house...
-Dear, this is Mr. Rossen, he is the producer...
-Don't you <u>touch</u> that...I want them gone.
-I signed the permit. I don't know how I can.
-I want them thrown in jail.
-I have to tell you, I can not <u>express</u> to you how <u>happy</u>...
-And we're glad to have you here...
-My golly, you know? All my life I grew up in the city, but every summer...would you like a cigar?
-Aren't these <u>illegal</u>?
-Well, you know, Walt, I just wanted to say that anything I could do...
-That's very kind of...as a matter-of- fact, one, I hate to <u>bother</u> you with...
-...not at all...
-...we need the shooting permit for Main Street...
-<u>Whatever</u> you need. The City Council, of course, has to pass on your...
-...the city council...
-On your "permit," but that is less than a formality.
-...it is?
-I <u>am</u> the City Council. We meet Friday, and I...
-George, that is so kind of you.
-Well, these things happen. <u>Purpose</u> of my call, my wife wanted to know what brand of <u>cigarettes</u> Mr. Barrenger smokes, so she could lay some out tonight...we got the list of his dietary <u>requirements</u>...
-You hear that?
-Yes, I hear it.
-Drive a man to drink. Took me near half an hour, get across the street yesterday.
-...the damn thing...
-He's going to <u>get</u> that calf.
-She coulda done better than him.
-It takes all kinds.
-"Assembly of Death" did 95 million dollars the first weekend.
-Yeaup, but those grosses are inflated.
-You think so?
-You see where Tom Miller's playin' the Old Farmer?
-He's been playin' Old Farmer nigh on sixty years.
-I read for that part. Did pretty good too.
-Bet you did.
-But I couldn't r'member all the words. Ast them would they gimme a second chance.
-Ain't no second chances in life.
-Zat true?
-Where are we?
-We have to lose the window.
-...we can't lose the wind...
-We need a new name for the movie. Where's the writer?
-Why?
-Because they gots a window with a dogs in it. You want me to "push in." Or I can lose the shot.
-No you can't lose the shot. The meaning of the <u>film</u> <u>is</u> in that shot.
-But, Wally, the window of the <u>firehut</u>...
-Annabelle sucked her thumb last night.
-I hate wax lips and red ants and pretzels without salt...
-&quot;Those who travel far and near this will make you DISAPPEAR!&quot;
-Ben! What's wrong?
-Guinevere, Godiva, I sense enemy sol...
-So what's up? Who's marrying who <u>this</u> time?
-I'd rather be with Mommy.
-...it's really not so bad Annabelle -- Red and Blue make purple.
-I don't care.
-<u>Never</u> say 'never' -- it's <u>not</u> fair to say 'always' -- and <u>no</u> name calling. Use your words.
-I hate when you say that.
-I hate overly ripe bananas -- they make me want to throw up.
-I didn't say that. Why would I say that?
-Well Daddy and I were thinking that sometimes people tell a story about what they wish would happen.
-I don't want that to happen. Why would I want that to happen?
-Well you're telling your teachers and your friends --
-Mass hysteria.
-Maybe you're upset that Rachel moved in.
-I'm not upset. Why would I be upset?
-Like who?
-It just slipped out.
-It happens.
-What happens when he loves Rachel more than us?
-That will never happen.
-I'm gonna call him.
-Lord Nelson, Napoleon's troops. I fear for the women and the property values.
-Daddy was washing Rachel. In the shower. What did you think that was about?
-Well, not exactly s...
-Scream.
-How would you know sh...
-Oh God oh God Oh God oh God oh God Oh...
-...why do you think?
-So why are you asking me?
-Because it's quiet. And he wants to talk. Alise -- Once he saws you in half, it's bedtime...
-What are you gonna talk about?
-Probably you -- your brother -- school -- The solar system...The usual...
-Then why are you putting on mascara?
-I'm a little tired and it's just a pick-me-up.
-But you only wore mascara when you and Daddy went on romantic dates...
-Well Daddy and I are just friends now, and that's no reason not to wear mascara...
-Look she's upset --
-No I'm not. I don't care. Why should I care? I mean nobody asked me when you got divorced. Nobody asked me if I wanted a new mother. Nobody even asked me if I like her. If you guys don't care about our family staying together, why sh...
-But we do have a choice. To make it better. Instead of worse.
-Like how?
-That happens. To families.
-Wow. Who's that for?
-I hope it's the right kind.
-...I mean, she knows all the music, and pop stars, and clothes and stuff. She's like still a kid, herself.
-Like a big sister.
-Actually. She's kind of cool, when you get to know her.
-And don't tell her I told you.
-I know how scared <u>I</u> get when <u>you're</u> sick. So I waited to tell you. Until it was getting smaller. I thought that was best, maybe I was wr...
-We make mistakes. And we forgive each other. Because we love each other, very m...
-I can't hear you.
-I said...
-He wouldn't know. <u>I</u> saw her in the shower!
-She is only the <u>Princess</u> of Cool. <u>Mommy</u> is the Queen!
-What's Thursd...
-A debate. Man's inhumanity to woman. He's pro women. I'm con. Ms. Flannery is twisted.
-I could help with the debate.
-Great.
-Actually. I could only help him.
-Every time I'm on the lunch yard, and he's with twelve of his retarded <u>dorkface</u> little adoring out-crowd <u>henchmen</u>...
-You don't like his friends.
-You wouldn't kiss him, huh?
-Not with my mouth open.
-And what do you do wh...
-I call him a fartface or a pervert, or something equally lame.
-He's not even there. You don't see him, you don't hear him, you're just too much of a woman to bother with little boys.
-This'll work, huh?
-How many devilled eggs can you eat?
-Annabelle...wake up honey...
-Mom? What's wrong?
-Darling, I've been thinking about our little Brad problem? And I think it's time we move to Plan B...
-You cannot <u>believe</u> what he said, it was the worst <u>instant</u> of my total life on <u>Earth</u>!!
-I know. I know how rough life can be. And how unfair. So here's what we do. Tomorrow, on the lunch yard, you walk <u>straight</u> <u>up</u> to that little jerk...
-And bring my knees up, <u>real</u> hard, yeh?
-I don't want to say goodbye.
-Thank God. I got to see you. Grown up.
-I'm not.
-Keep Ben's for awhile, okay? Until he's old enough to not open them all at once.
-Are you afraid for me? Where I'm going.
-Yes.
-Don't be. I'm going. Where we all go. Now how can that be bad.
-I'll miss you so much.
-You forgot to wash my purple shirt. I told you a hundred times it was Purple Day at school today.
-I didn't forget. I was up all night thinking about it and I concluded you're too special to look like everyone else. Orange Red. That's your color. Few can carry it off. Now please. Help me find your brother.
-You lost Ben?!
-No. I told you. I like apple butter not butter butter.
-Here.
-Never mind. I'll just eat my lunch.
-I'm gonna beep daddy at work.
-You swore. You owe me a quarter. Did you remember my egg carton? I told you I needed my egg carton for seed planting today.
-I'm sorry, okay? Let's not fi...
-I don't have to listen to you! You're not my mother.
-What I meant and perhaps I didn't say it well was you have a great mom. You don't need another one. But when you're at this house --
-This is my daddy's house --
-This is my house too!
-The timing was off -- I need this light.
-<u>Just</u> where I wanna be all Saturd...
-Hold lunch!
-But we're hungry -- and I have to pick up my costume for the pageant! It starts at seven!
-Lunch time Sleeping Beauty. Where's Ben? Is he in the bathroom?
-What if he's kidnapped?
-C'mon, these are the Bomb, I prom...
-Your mom had to...help a friend with this...emergency? And she called me. And we switched days. Then, I got stuck on my shoot, and...
-It's not to wear around, or any- thing, I'm <u>way</u> too young. It's just for play.
-She still packing for her trip?
-You know what that creep and his frogfaced footmen are calling me <u>now</u>? In front of the whole <u>world</u>? Frosty, the Snow Bitch!!
-That's so weak.
-Here's <u>weak</u>...Mom said she was gonna talk to the <u>teacher</u> and Brad's <u>parents</u>!! Can you <u>believe</u> the <u>humiliation</u>???
-Annabelle, I know you miss your mother. So why don't you say hello.
-Why don't you say hello?
-Annabelle pick up the phone.
-Annabelle pick up the phone.
-That doesn't bother me.
-That doesn't bother me.
-You think this is funny?
-You think this is funny?
-No. I think it's ugly.
-You're just a <u>stepmother</u>. So stop <u>bossing</u>, cos nobody's <u>listening</u>!
-June 3rd, God willing, I'll marry your Dad. And then I <u>will</u> be your stepmom. And right now, I'm not looking forward to th...
-Oh, baby, I'm so sor...
-I <u>did</u> what she said. I <u>used</u> my words, I <u>told</u> him what I <u>felt</u>, and they...
-Now is that little prick still here, because if he is, I'm gonna rip his fucking <u>heart</u> out!
-And Mom says anger never, never <u>solves</u> anything. It makes every- thing <u>worse</u>.
-And you<u>don't</u> tell her. What you're going to say.
-Not use my words, please!
-Help me here...
-Uh. He thinks his nose is too big. But it's not.
-Great. Big ears, too?
-Uh. What is it?
-Oh. It's an incredibly disgusting, and not remotely sexy thing, that they described in a movie I'd never let you go to. But it's real. Does he have an older brother?
-In high school.
-The guy <u>I</u> see is in the eighth grade at <u>Prep</u> School, and he laughs his <u>ass</u> off every time we talk about you.
-But Rache...
-Now Ladies, the secrets to a great pie is the crust. And the secret to a great flaky pie crust comes from less flour and more...what?
-Ice cold water.
-I hate her. I really hate her.
-There you are!
-No they're not.
-Put down that <u>goddamn</u> camera!
-You do NOT run out on your moth...
-You know, this horse smells really bad.
-...your hating me.
-Cos she loves you.
-Oh my God. That is so not funny. You're late. You're really late. Now get out here and have some cereal.
-No.
-No! Cocoa Puffs on Top -- Fruit Loops on the bottom.
-You touched it.
-Then have a donut --
-No.
-But you told us to starve.
-...EGGzactly. I'm putting on my coat -- We are late. We are seriously late. Which means Mister Ben we've got to get you dressed --
-Excuse me --
-I made you some cocoa. See?
-&quot;In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon...&quot;
-Aren't you going to drink your cocoa? It's the good kind.
-&quot;Goodnight moon, goodnight hush, goodnight mush, goodnight goodnight goodnight Gracie -- Goodnight Ben!
-&quot;In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon...&quot;
-&quot;And a picture of the cow jumping over the moon...&quot;
-Are you <u>real</u> mad?
-...for Christmas, okay? Every magician needs a white dove, a <u>real</u> one, they <u>do</u>!
-Well, that's a long way off, sweetie. We'll talk to Mom and Dad...
-'In the still...still of the ni-ight...I held you... held you so ti-ight'...take it, man...
-IS THAT YOU?
-Why does Rachel wear Daddy's underpants? Doesn't she have underpants of her own?
-I hate snails and blue cheese. Especially together. <u>Hate</u>.
-I have lava.
-Queen of diamonds.
-Poof! You're happy now.
-Ben! Oh my Ben! Are you alright?
-Mommy? It's not Rachel's fault I ran away.
-No, that's your fault. It's her fault for not watching over my precious son, as if it were her priority. Which means, the most important job.
-Rachel's job is she works.
-Ben, mommies work too. They work very hard. Mommy works harder as a mom than she did when she was working. I just don't get paid.
-Does Rachel make a lot of money?
-People like Rachel who only think about themselves often do make a lot of money.
-I think she's pretty, Mommy.
-Yes...if you like big hair...
-Mommy?
-What honey?
-Rache says I have to eat <u>lamb</u>. I told her <u>you're</u> making me <u>spaghetti</u>!
-Honey, this is Thursday. I pick you up tomorrow, and we do <u>big</u> spaghetti.
-You'll be up to your armpits in meatballs, I'm flying them in from Sweden.
-Not a lot, sweetie. It's a country. Like Canada. Only smaller.
-I'm somewhere, thinking of you. And meatballs. And you know what?
-Yes.
-Of course, you do. Being magic. Then you know I've got a flu bug, and I turn green and barf profusely when I even think about food. So, all the more meatballs for you. But you know what.
-I did. Do I have to eat lamb? Daddy didn't cook it, she did.
-That I do. Always will.
-I'm fine, ba...
-Mommy, if your real name's Jackie and I call you mommy; and Rachel's real name's Rachel...Then when I see her do I say hi Stepmommy? And if my name's Ben, how come you don't call me son?
-ARE YOU CRAZY, YOU COULD <u>SUFFOCATE</u> IN THERE!!!
-No.
-Mommy's sick, guys.
-You have the WORST flu since...
-Grammy had a different kind. There are lots of kinds. Hers was very bad.
-So you're okay.
-In the still...still of the ni-ight...I held you...held you so ti-ight...
-That's Rache's song!
-Ben! Mommy's so glad to see you -- Now stop climbing! Ben listen to me...
-No! I have to get there.
-Where Ben?
-Before you.
-Ben where do you have to get to?
-Ben. God doesn't like visitors.
-How do you know?
-Ask her, she's a heroic Fireperson. She does this twenty times a day.
-Okay. These are good.
-I've got a lot of medicine in me, sweetie. And I'm a little wobbly for driving or running ar...
-Find the bird cage?
-Rache says it's from you.
-So what do you think we're gonna talk about?
-If a soldier loses his legs in a war. Is he the same guy? Sure he is.
-But you can still see him.
-The world. <u>Thinks</u> I'm gone. But only the magician. Knows better.
-Right here. Right here. <u>Inside</u> the magician. Shhhh.
-Can I talk to you? When you're there.
-It's not good enough.
-Cooper, back the fill off I don't have enough shadow...
-You've got a fruit loop in your hair.
-You say that like I don't know that.
-I once threw an entire bowl of jello on my stepmother's head --
-And when did that pass?
-May I remind you that Duncan has the <u>client</u> arriving at exac...
-People beat it, don't they? All the time.
-So we'll...radiate some more?
-That's necessary, huh?
-I have to get dressed. My ex-husband has asked me to dinner. God knows why, he was very mysteri...
-Why would his worry? Or my children's worry. Or anyone's worry. Help the sit...
-Congratulations. Only forty minutes late. You're handling this promotion really well Rachel.
-It's 1:45, I told you there's no one to pick up Annab...
-I've got it. It's in the can, Cooper can wrap th...
-Which part of no don't you understand?
-Look, I will <u>send</u> a P.A. to pick up the children. There are <u>agencies</u> that supply sitters, nannies...
-You're making a <u>career</u> decision here, I would <u>strongly</u> sugg...
-You can't <u>do</u> that, I won't <u>let</u> you!
-No, no, no, this is a job that's hard to <u>keep</u>, <u>not</u> a job that's hard to <u>lose</u>, can't be both.
-Planning on getting --
-Are you here?
-I'm here.
-Because you don't really seem here.
-I'm here. I've got a case where they're this close to sequestering the jury but have I answered the goddamn thing?!
-Something's up wi...
-I've been with someone for quite some time, and didn't feel it was appropriate for her to move in too quickly. But after a lot of thought and careful discussion with her -- and the kids I might add -- she moved in last month.
-Since our divorce Luke has seen a number of different women in three short years and without a lot of warning for the kids, he's now living with a woman half his age --
-Rachel's not half my age.
-We're not discussing your age.
-Well, we're not discussing Rachel's age either.
-They want to be with you Luke, they go to your house to be with their father.
-Napalm.
-Except for last Thursday when Rachel forgot to pick them up --
-Thank you Mrs. Franklin. Jackie? This has been very valuable for us. And I'll have a serious talk with Annabelle tonight.
-It's Wednesday night. She's at my house. I'll talk to her.
-I'll call from work. We can have a conference call.
-You ask me that counselor's making a mountain out of a molehill...
-I'm worried.
-Me too.
-Luke, I need to switch next Friday for Thursday, so why don't you take the weekend... ...that way you'll be there, and I'll pick up Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
-Fine. But I wanted to take the kids to work with me on Wednesday so I'll take Wednesday, and you can pick up that Thursday, Friday after soccer, and Saturday before riding.
-Easy enough.
-Just outside the big top, we're almo...
-You're WHERE?
-At the Big Apple Circus, it's the only big top I know. I <u>said</u> I'd get 'em back tonight...
-Jackie, <u>we</u> were taking them water- skiing for the <u>whole</u> weekend!
-Our children.
-Do you realize what could have hap- pened to your son today? How lucky we are the police found him before some lunatic did? He could have been...
-But he hasn't. He wandered off. I know it's terrifying. I can imagine how you felt when that call came -- But it happens.
-Not to me.
-Jackie, you've made mistakes -- We all make mistakes --
-I'm not gonna wait around to see the next one. I'm not gonna watch my kids fall through the cracks of this arrangement. I'm seeing a lawyer.
-Jackie stop. We promised we never go there.
-Called him. We set an ap...
-You're saying, don't make the kids a football, don't put them through a war. But I'm doing this for <u>their</u> well-being.
-You know the kids aren't really in danger. This is about Rachel, and you're right, I'm disappointed in her learning curve, and...
-I'm afraid she's going to walk.
-Still, please.
-Annabelle showed me the new dress. She's amazing in it.
-I didn't think a phone call was appropriate...
-I grew up, a little. I'm ready for a life that's built around commitm...
-It's going to be hard for the kids when I tell them...I'd like you to be there.
-To make it easier for them or you?
-It's a huge moment in their life --
-You can't be an 'us' just when you want to. You can't play that card when it's convenient.
-We...
-WE are over.
-You're still going to have to be dealing with me -- with us. We should tell them together.
-The great thing about life is that things keep changing.
-Remember when Mommy and Daddy got divorced?
-She's a charmer, you'll see. In fifty years, the kids'll love her ten percent as much as they love you.
-It's temporary.
-You want us to take him tonight? Give you some private time with Annab....
-Never stand between that kid and a meatball.
-Yet another spaghetti night.
-I know. I wouldn't know what to say. If it were you.
-We're going to win this.
-What happens next?
-I had a lot of treatments, and they weren't any fun, but the tests show the cancer got smaller.
-How do you hold down a job? It's 8:10. You were supposed to be here at 7:00. She's missed her sunrise Groom'n Ride.
-This is Friday, her riding lesson is on Tuesdays. I got it right here...
-Every Tuesday except the 3rd Tuesday of the month when it's switched to Friday except in April when she rides on Thursday. It's not that hard. Didn't you have a mother?
-Can I please have a cup of coffee?
-We don't have any coffee.
-What is this? The Betty Ford Center?
-What happened with Annabelle? Has nothing I said gotten through to you?
-Maybe you could back off just a little bit --
-What did you do?
-She's been talking about this little editing machine, it's only...
-...a ridiculously <u>expensive</u> and <u>inappropriate</u> item, which her father and I have already <u>told</u> her she is <u>far</u> too young to own. But <u>you</u> apparently want to <u>buy</u> her forgiveness, with...
-Luke was in the shower this morning and Annabelle sort of walked in without knocking.
-I'm sure that didn't upset her. Everyone in our family takes showers.
-Did you or Luke talk to her about it afterwards?
-No. I thought it might be uncomfortable for her --
-You mean for you. A 10-year-old girl is coping with the fact that her father is never coming back to live with his family. She sees her father naked with another woman for the first time. And you think it's best for her if every- one pretends it didn't happen? This isn't going to work out.
-You're damn right. I'm gonna sick of your imperious bullshit. I never said I was Betty Fucking Crocker. If every time life hits her in the face you want to have a 12 hour talk every third Friday or the month -- go ahead! I have a life!
-Oh and I don't because I have a children?! The problem is you're too self-involved to ever be a mother.
-Maybe the problem is your <u>kids</u>. Maybe they're spoiled, coddled <u>brats</u>!
-Get out!
-But it's not on the schedule!
-Machines do not EAT message.
-Look, I...
-Yeh?
-Annabelle doesn't really want to talk to you right now.
-Jackie, if I thought for one moment...
-I am not <u>here</u> to make it easier for you. These are <u>my</u> children. They don't want to <u>be</u> with you.
-Well, maybe they would if they thought it was okay, with y...
-...in.
-I'm sorry. Look, I'm not real comfortable being here, but...
-I have a snoop.
-I didn't need you to take the blame for me, I'm quite...
-She already hates me. You've seen to that.
-You're not terribly good at taking care of h...
-I need practice.
-So why did y...
-I have an appointment this after- noon. I need someone to take them to the park.
-However many. It's not enough.
-I'm already on thin ice. Yesterday, I actually thought my boss was going to fire me.
-Bandaids for cuts. Bandaids for new shoe blisters. Packet of Wash n Dri's. Kleenex. Sugar free lollipops, potty seat covers for public restrooms...
-Why not just bring the whole toilet?
-Ben likes to be read to. Do you know Dr. Seuss...?
-Not personally.
-Sorry I'm late, I got lost dropping Ben off at Kevin's.
-I'm sorry, I just...
-Hey. At least it's not an editing machine.
-What about obsessively picking her split ends?
-Anxiety.
-Last week when she chopped her Barbie's bangs all to hell --
-She was angry at herself.
-Jackie?
-Yes?
-You feeling all right?
-...thinking of going back to Random House. On a part-time basis.
-...make some trips into the city. Sometimes, overnight.
-Uh. Have you told Luke and the ki...
-I don't know wh...
-My boss.
-You're not working at Random House, I talked to them.
-You WHAT?
-Look, you've never liked me...
-Don't flatter yourself.
-And I know checking into your life was inexcusable...
-Nobody likes a snoop.
-Bi-coastal parenting. Happens every day. Luke gets the kids every other summer, every other holiday, it's not ideal, but people make it work, and...
-Did I hear the word...
-Then let him talks to me. We don't need you to solve our prob...
-I got used to...thinking of them. As...my kids too.
-Life's a trade-off. You get cancer, your hair falls out, but you <u>do</u> get to smoke dope.
-You bet you are.
-How the hell would you know?
-I don't, but...
-And cigarettes. I smoke, too.
-They came out of my <u>body</u>!
-See, I know that.
-Okay, I'm undeserving.
-Small world.
-So I have to tell you something in confidence...
-You're a cross-dresser.
-She hasn't mentioned this.
-Moi?
-As you may know, 'going out' in the six grade doesn't mean shit. They don't actually <u>go</u> to a movie or anywhere, they don't even eat lunch together, it's just a declaration to the world that they're...
-...going out, yeh. I had kids of my own, once.
-Oh, my God.
-Right. Which is the whole <u>point</u> of this 'going out' thing, so one of them can dump the other one, and they can imitate the whole passionate adult soap opera tragedy, without ever having to actually date.
-She's devastated.
-And you said...?
-Can I look at the pictures?
-So. Hopeful.
-I really look like shit.
-You look sick. But you look... together. Mentally tough.
-You try to center on the big issues, y'know. What it's all about. What this whole trip has meant. But then, the <u>really</u> big issues keep swamping y...
-The primo stuff is great for pain.
-He's relentless. A <u>major</u> asshole.
-And you said...
-Eat your heart out. Is Annabelle there?
-Yeh, she's...I'll get you Ben first, it's past his bedti...
-Can I say one thing? I mean, the <u>last</u> thing I want to do is inter- fere on the Brad thing, b...
-Yah? Well, even the best mom in the world, the smartest, the wisest, whatever. Needs to know when to find a Plan B. Cos Plan A <u>is</u> not and <u>will</u> n...
-Hon, maybe your mom would like t...
-I'm thinking. Do I know you well enough to really chew you out?
-It's just not the right time t...
-Do what you've worked your whole life to do?
-It was just a job, there'll be plenty of others.
-Hey, you haven't quit on you, I'm sure as hell not gonna. I just mean, I'm juggling a lot right n...
-Juggle it! Move the darkroom into your house. You've got that room downstairs with the treadmill Luke never uses anyway. Don't lose your confidence. Don't lose your edge.
-It's the same choice you made.
-I know you, huh? The car pools, he measles, the PTA. It's not gonna be enough for you in the long run. You have to think long term.
-I just want to spend time with them when I'm not rushing or on the phone or tired or...
-My advice to you? Don't die.
-Somehow, his blanket always looked like a cape, even the nurse said that. He <u>loves</u> to hear that story, over and over. How he was born a magician.
-And her...?
-That thing you said before. Pushing the guy sleeping next to you away. Because of what you gave up for motherhood...
-Is that what he told you?
-You really didn't have to come, you know. I'd have brought them straight t...
-Looks nice enough to m...
-Now we're going to have a fight, you and I.
-Are we.
-And I'm going to win.
-Now, 'limp dick', I know. What. Is 'snowballing'?
-It doesn't matter, I didn't tell h...
-Because there'll be, oh, 20 or 30 mothers phoning me in the next hour or so. And they'll b...
-Actually. They'll want Annabelle's mother.
-Is that what you're worried about? Looking bad at the PTA?
-You are <u>defending</u> what you did?
-You put filth in my child's mouth.
-Aw.
-You had her <u>lie</u> about that... that fancy-boy <u>model</u>!
-She was beaten, and bloodied, and it was going to go on, uni...
-You taught my child that I am some limp dick <u>loser</u>. Who didn't <u>care</u> about her pain.
-That's not wh...
-You think <u>I</u> didn't have some dirty words for that little putz? You think <u>I</u> couldn't figure out some low blows?
-You weren't passing 'em out.
-See, in that crisis, I saw an opportunity. For some <u>real</u> growth.
-Oh please.
-Doing the <u>right</u> thing. Knowing who you <u>are</u>, inside. Not <u>caving</u> to peer pressure, or <u>lowering</u> yourself to that level, <u>steering</u> your <u>own</u> course...
-She wasn't steering her own course, she was steering <u>yours</u>.
-And there will come <u>another</u> moment. When the stakes are <u>really</u> there. And she will look back on this. And remember how good it felt. How easy it was.
-You've turned her into you. And I may not get another chance. To turn her back.
-Thanks for coming out.
-She likes a Stolie, no ice.
-What's this about? Because we <u>fought</u>?
-I love Luke, I love the children. But there is more to life than even love...
-No, there isn't.
-I never wanted to be a mom. Then, sharing it with you was one thing. Carrying it alone, the rest of my life...
-Well, it's the Jack Kennedy Syndrome, huh? You die young, you always look golden. Perfect. The memory kind of burnishes the image, and...
-Come on, a wuss like me? The stiff who wouldn't help her own daughter fight back?
-You're lying.
-I lost him. I was panicked.
-You are lying, you never lost that kid for 4 <u>seconds</u>, you could find him from a <u>coma</u>, there is no WAY!
-Ben never mentioned it.
-Why didn't I?
-With good reason. They fucking worship you as it is.
-What do I have that you don't?
-Everything. You're...the Earth Mother incarnate...
-You're the hip and fresh.
-You ride with Annabelle...
-You'll learn.
-You know every story, every wound, every memory, their whole life's <u>happiness</u> has been wrapped up in <u>you</u>, every moment...
-Now Edna says you short-changed your last meds. You can do presents and be comfortable at the same time, y'know.
-You know, there's nothing you have to say. Because they know your heart. You don't have t...
-Okay, if they're going to <u>have</u> a sauce, put something <u>in</u> it besides flour and chicken broth...
-It was a veal stock, I thi...
-The way you cook. If you could make love, I'd marry you.
-We have to talk.
-Uh-oh. I mention marriage, all of a sudden... Ve <u>haff</u> to ta...
-I didn't want to spoil our supper...
-You'd rather spoil our walk home.
-I just found out I have to go to Boston to get a deposition. I might not be back until Saturday.
-So I'll have to order in?
-We have the kids this weekend, so...
-Anyway, I thought...while I'm gone...maybe I'll hire in some help.
-For what?
-Just a babysitter -- I mean...you're working...
-I can take them to work with me -- I can shift things around --
-You don't need to. I don't expect you to handle them yourself.
-You don't trust me to be alone with them.
-I trust you of course I do but --
-But? But what?
-But you're not good at this. Not yet. I'm sorry.
-Look. I know they hate me.
-They don't hate you --
-And what you're telling them is keep hating her -- keep up the good work --
-Nobody's telling them to hate you --
-Really? Look in your ex-wife's eyes.
-It's complicated for Jackie. It's complicated for me...You don't have kids -- you don't understand --
-Oh right...So it's just complicated for you and Jackie -- for me it's pretty simple cause I just don't understand...
-No you don't. And I'm not gonna screw with my kids heads right now --
-Get ready. To get <u>really</u> mad.
-Uh. Annabelle's video report has been switched again.
-Not yet.
-Hey, I sold my body to Satan to clear Friday at two o'clo...
-We have the kids. Next weekend.
-And it's <u>my</u> call. I promised them water-skiing, instead o...
-Why are you taking this out on <u>him</u>?
-Rache, get out of th...
-Oh my God. Are you serious?
-I think so...What do you think?
-It's forever you know.
-Okay...Is that the good thing or the bad thing?
-Everything's gonna work out. The kids and I...we're going to love each other.
-Rache, it may take time.
-Well, I think you should tell him you changed your mi...
-It's just an assignment.
-It's Anna Sui, you should be doing it.
-They're my kids.
-She's not gonna die.
-No problem.
-What a great surpri...
-Just like to make sure. That your past. And my future. Are real different.
-Well, they will be.
-Why in the world would she t...
-You took a fishing trip with the boys. Liked it so much, you took another.
-I needed some time away.
-...while she watched the kids. Then, you booked this flat in Paris for your family's summer. But she said...
-She called it a fight. <u>The</u> fight.
-Can we go sit somewhere?
-I told her I loved her.
-By way of saying you were unhappy.
-Restless.
-'...I don't know if I can make it.' That's what I said. But I didn't leave.
-That's a pretty ugly thing you just said.
-'But keep dancing, and if you're lucky, I might just never leave, who knows?'
-That's not us.
-We make our lives, one step at a time. We do the best we can. The truth about the future? A promise. Is only a hope.
-Where you goin'?
-Hi, I'm here to pick up Ben.
-Does Jackie know this?
-No. I'm doing it behind her back.
-In seven years Jackie's never missed one of Tucker's parties. Where is she?
-Something came up. C'mon Ben! I've got a shoot at three...
-I don't know what's wrong with that kid.
-Maybe he's gay.
-Don't ever say that.
-What if he is?
-Out! Leave the table!
-What?
-You heard me: leave the table!
-We're studying the Holocaust in Social Studies.
-Well, I'm supposed to watch Schindler's List for homework. The movie's like almost four hours. And then I'm supposed to write a report on survivors. You know any survivors, Dad?
-Hey.
-Hey. What's up?
-There's something I need to talk about with you.
-What?
-There are some rumors...
-Like what?
-You know...Stanley...
-Oh.
-No prob. I'm cool.
-Marty, ignore him.
-Well, technically your Zeda is a survivor.
-He was in a concentration camp?
-Well, no. But he had to escape the Nazis.
-But I thought he came over to America before the war.
-Well, he did. With his family. But his cousins, they had to stay and they were all killed. And if he'd stayed, he would have been killed. So in my book he's a survivor.
-Even though it was only his cousins that were killed?
-Hey, Scooby! How's it going?
-Conan O'Brien? Whoa! What are you doing here?
-I'm looking for a last-minute guest for my show. Any suggestions?
-I'll be your guest!
-Welcome to the show, Scooby.
-Thank you.
-Nice to have you here.
-Great to be here.
-And thank you for dressing up for us. This is very classy. Tell us. What kind of professional plans do you have? What's in your future?
-Well, I was thinking...I might work for you.
-Ahh...tell me. What do you want to do for me? What's your idea?
-Be your sidekick, you know, and maybe eventually become a TV talk- show host.
-Consuelo?
-Yes, Mikey?
-Do you have any brothers or sisters?
-Yes.
-Really? How many?
-Four brothers and five sisters.
-Wow. Why did your parents have so many children? I mean, if they were poor, wouldn't it be better to have just one or two?
-It was God's will.
-But do you really believe in God? And heaven, hell and angels and all kind of stuff?
-When I'm in high school I'm not going to play any football. I'm just going to concentrate on class rank. What did you do in high school?
-I did not go to high school.
-Weren't there high schools in El Salvador?
-We had to work. My family was poor.
-Must've been hard being poor.
-I'm still poor.
-Hmmm. But, Consuelo, even though your poor, don't you have any hobbies or interests or anything?
-No, Mikey.
-But like, what do you like to do when you're not working?
-I'm always working.
-But when you're not. Like now. What do you like to do?
-This is work.
-Consuelo. Are you crying?
-No.
-Yes, you are. I can tell. What's the matter?
-Mi Jesus mi jesus
-Speak English.
-Mi Jesus esta muerto!
-Consuelo, I'm sorry, but you know if you don't speak English I can't understand you.
-My Jesus
-Who is Jesus?
-My baby.
-You have a bay?
-My grandchild-baby.
-Gee, I didn't even know you had any children. But why are you so upset about Jesus?
-He's dead.
-Oh. How did it happen?
-He was executed. He was on Death Row and then he was executed.
-How did they execute him?
-Poison gas.
-Maybe it's for the best I mean, if he was guilty of doing something wrong People who are bad should be killed. Don't you think so?
-Jesus was not bad.
-Maybe he was and you just didn't know it.
-He wasn't.
-But still, you can't be sure.
-I am sure.
-But really, you never know.
-I know!
-Why was he on Death Row?
-Consuelo, what is rape exactly?
-Sometimes I feel like my parents don't love me.
-So whaddya think?
-Well, I'm not really sure what you're trying to say. It's funny, I suppose. But it seems glib and facile to just make fun of how idiotic these people are.
-I'm not making fun. I'm showing it as it really is.
-You're showing how superior you are to your subject. TOBY No, but I like my subject. I like these people.
-No, you don't.
-The camerawork's nice.
-This is definitely better.
-You think so? You don't think that this might not be a little dry?
-This is entertainment you're making, Toby. This story about a kid in the suburbs and the state of the college admissions process has, with this Brady crisis, evolved into something much richer and more provocative.
-Yes, I know But still, it should be somewhat entertaining.
-I mean, without this footage, without this rigorous documentation, it would feel like exploitation.
-No, no, no. No exploitation. This is serious But don't you find it a little funny too, at the same time?
-You've got a family tragedy on your hands. Will you tell me what's funny about that? About a kid in a coma?
-Nothing, I guess
-I mean, why are you making this documentary if you can't treat your subject with appropriate gravity?
-OK, you're right, you're right You know, we need to screen what we've got invite some regular people, just some random off-the- street types and see what real people think of this.
-I dunno, Toby. We really have a long way to go. You still need a lot more footage, and it's probably a little premature to start screening
-OK, then we can invite serious intellectual types.
-We're not ready.
-Hip alternative types who will understand the process better
-We're not ready!
-Well, I need to see this with an audience!
-What's an audience going to tell you?
-Don't even joke about that!
-Twinkeys!
-Mom?
-Yes, Mikey?
-I was looking through Scooby's SATs practice books this afternoon and I took one of the practice tests. Guess what score I got?
-What?
-Steak's really good tonight. SCOOBY Good.
-Marty...
-Not to be crass, but what do we get out of this?
-We used pull.
-It's all about who you know.
-Look, we're not suckers. Everyone else is out there doing the same thing.
-Sure!...
-Was anyone in my room today?
-Is everything OK?
-What are you going to do?
-We did the same thing last year also.
-Well...yes. If it hadn't been for Hitler, he wouldn't have had to leave Europe. We would have been...European.
-Hi, Scooby! How was school today?
-Fine.
-Ready for tomorrow?
-What's tomorrow?
-Hey, you want to hear my short story now?
-Huh?
-I can read it to you.
-You mean, again?
-Well, I changed the ending a little.
-Oh. What happens now?
-Well, actually, it's the same, but longer. I think it's better. More...raw.
-Well then, maybe you should just read the ending.
-But it won't make any sense if you hear it out of context.
-So you don't want to hear my new ending?
-You're tired of me. I can tell.
-Marcus, I'm tired. That's all.
-You've lost interest...You hardly even sweat any more when we have sex.
-I was never much of a sweater. You know that.
-What do you want?
-Don't be so upset. It's OK...
-What the fuck are you talking about? What's OK?
-You know he hated my story also.
-Marcus...You'll write something better next time!
-Patronizing fuck! If you had just been honest with me in the first place I wouldn't have read it. I knew it was shit. But - idiot! - I believed you!
-That's not fair! I was honest! Just because I wasn't sucking up like that bitch Catherine.
-Well, I sure didn't hear you voice your opinion in there when it mattered.
-Which is it? You gotta keep your focus straight.
-And you want Scooby to be the focus of all this?
-Scooby and a few other students of different socioeconomic backgrounds.
-Reconceive.
-Oh, I know, I know that. Well, sharing your story, your ups and downs, and so forth, can I hope, be an illuminating experience.
-But what kind of pull did you have?
-I think Scooby's like a lot of kids. He just hit a a speed bump. Now he's gonna find his way, his path is gonna be cleared, and I think he's gonna continue his education at a good college. And everybody else is gonna be happy.
-Fuck!
-I dunno.
-What DO you know?
-So? How was school today?
-The same.
-The same. Same as what?
-Get the hell outta here!
-Scooby?
-Yeah?
-Whaddya wanna talk about?
-OK.
-I just want to know what the hell he's doing in his room that's so interesting he doesn't come down for dinner.
-Mom, it's not fair if Brady can say the f-word and I can't.
-Dad? Do you think that Brady will ever get better?
-One in a million recover.
-Maybe he's that one in a million!
-I don't think there's any hope, either. I was just trying to make you feel better.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome. Dad? Would you let me try hypnotizing you now?
-Yeah. Sure Go ahead. Hypnotize me.
-Hey, Mikey. You wanna get some ice cream?
-Hey, Mikey!
-Hi, Dad!
-Come here, give me a hug!
-Gee, you're home early!
-Yeah, uh, listen. Why don't you go upstairs and keep your Mom and Brady company for a bit? I need to speak alone with Consuelo for a moment.
-Hello, Vi.
-What are you doing here?
-I'm sorry. I didn't mean, I just didn't expect to run into you here, that's all.
-Yeah, um, then...are you alone?
-Uh huh.
-You're not.
-Good. 'Cause I...um...I really agreed with everything you had to say last week about how bad my story was...
-That's good.
-You have beautiful skin.
-Thank you. So Catherine seems like she might become a really good writer.
-Aren't you going out with Catherine? I'm sorry. It's none of my business. I didn't mean...
-I'm not 'going out' with Catherine.
-Oh. Do you think I have a potential as a writer?
-No.
-It's over there.
-It's a really nice place you have. Is the rent high?
-Oh, bu...uh...I can't say that.
-Say, Ni...
-Ni...
-...gger.
-...gger.
-Say, 'Nigger.'
-Nigger.
-'Fuck me hard!'
-Fuck me hard!
-Say, 'Nigger, fuck me hard!'
-Nigger, fuck me hard!
-Again!
-Nigger, fuck me hard!!...
-Again!!
-No, not really.
-Any books you like to read for fun?
-No.
-None at all? How about those 'underground' comics?
-I hate reading.
-All right, Scooby, let's not beat around the bush. With your attitude, you're not going to get in anywhere.
-OK.
-'OK.' So you just don't care. Let me ask you, not as your guidance counselor, but...as a friend: what do you want to do with your life? I mean, what kind of long-term goals can you possibly have?
-I dunno...
-C'mon. Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking.
-Well, I mean...I wanna be on TV. Maybe have a talk show or something. Like Conan. Or early Letterman.
-Ah-hah. And how is it you hope to achieve this goal?
-Hello?
-Hello, is this Pam?
-Who is this?
-Toby Oxman.
-Toby -? Oh, hi! How are you?
-Oh, fine. How are you?
-Great!
-Great!
-So what's going on?
-That's what I was gonna ask you.
-But...you called.
-Oh, yeah, well...um...I was just calling because, well, I was wondering if you still remembered me, which I guess you do...
-So. Look at where we are: the year 2000! Can you believe it? I mean, did you ever think we would actually make it?
-Um, well, yeah. So are you still acting?
-Oh, no, not any more. No, um, I kind of came to terms with myself, I realized I had done what I had to do. And it was time to move on.
-Oh. So what did you do after you gave up on acting?
-I believe it.
-Yeah, well, it was really all kind of a joke - and a rip-off, so, uh...so I dropped out.
-Oh, that's too bad.
-Yeah, well, then it got me writing, so that was a good thing.
-Anything I might know about?
-Well, um, I kind of let things go on this novel I'd been really into - I mean, the whole publishing industry is totally corrupt. I mean, really, it's finished.
-That's too bad.
-I worked over at a homeless shelter for a while, drove a cab to pay the rent, but, I mean, that was like - I mean, I have some dignity.
-That's good. So then what do you do now?
-I'm a documentary filmmaker.
-Oh? Anything I might have seen?
-N-not yet. I'm hoping to get a grant for this one project on teenagers. Geez, remember when we were teenagers?
-Yeah. You didn't wanna take me to the prom.
-Oh, I don't remember that...
-I do.
-Uh, well, anyway, so I'm looking for subjects for this documentary on teenage life in suburbia. Kind of an exploration of the mental psyche of its mythology. I wrote to Derrida to see if he'd like to do the narration. But everything's still kind of in development at this point.
-That's good.
-Yeah...um...so anyway, tell me. What about you? I'd heard through the grapevine you were producing movies.
-Yeah. But not any more.
-Yeah...So you're um...you're married?
-Yeah.
-Huh. Kids?
-Yeah.
-How many?
-Three.
-Great. How old are they?
-Eight, six, and four.
-Listen, Toby, I can't really talk right now. Do you mind if I call you back?
-Yeah, sure.
-OK. Bye.
-Pretty cool, Stanley.
-Thanks.
-How'd you get it?
-It's my Dad's He hides it under some old TV Guides in his closet.
-Gee, your Dad's smart.
-I know.
-Is it loaded?
-Scooby, don't! Be careful!
-I'm not an idiot, man. I watch TV.
-I Know. I'm sorry. I'm just...a little nervous, I don't know why.
-Scooby?
-Yeah?
-You know...I like you.
-Yeah. I know.
-You want some?
-You a pervert?
-No...Actually, I'm a documentary filmmaker?
-Oh. You mean, like, Blair Witch Project?
-Well, no. I'm doing one on high school students, in fact.
-What for?
-Well...it's kind of a sociological study in the aftermath of Columbine.
-Is this to like get into Sundance?
-Yeah, well, it's possible they would be interested in it.
-Doubt it.
-Actually, there is some interest from the Sundance Channel.
-Whoopee.
-So like, yeah I caved in. I mean, I had to. My parents, they're like still really depressed about Brady. So I wrote the bullshit essay. Filled out the applications, did the interviews Y'know, I figure I can always drop out.
-So where'd you get in?
-Prnceton.
-But what did you get on your SATs?
-Hey, um, Toby? I was wondering Is the documentary almost finished?
-Uh, yeah, we're getting there.
-Can I see what you have so far?
-Sure um yeah, as soon as I have a screening I'll let you know.
-What is most important to you?
-Uh, Scooby, now I understand how you want to be a TV talk-show host and all, like Conan O'Brien, but did you know even he went to college?
-He did?
-Yeah. He went to Harward.
-Oh, my God, Scooby! I'm so sorry...I'm so, so sorry...
-Henry, what exactly are these crazed gunmen demanding?
-Th-they want t-twenty-f-five million dollars cash--or Chemco will be destroyed.
-Twenty-five-million! And what will they do if the money isn't delivered?
-Th-th-they'll kill one hostage every hour until it is--
-Does that include Helen Filmore, United States congresswoman?
-Y-yes--
-Uh-oh! Do you know if the demands are being taken seriously at this point, or does Washington think these people are just a bunch of crazy fuckers playing games?
-Well, I-I hope that--that--
-I don't know what hit us! We had them trapped on the stairwell. They could be anywhere now.
-I now understand the expression "you get what you pay for!" A bunch of chumps!
-We got trouble. That bodyguard son- of-a-bitch has them running all over the field--just took out three on the north end!
-Well get someone down there!
-Is he with the girl?
-I'll lead.
-I said I'll lead.
-What are you going to do, Cooper, throw yourself on a Bunsen burner? It's a bunch of businessmen touring a lab. We'll be out in no time.
-I gotta keep you alive--it's in my contract.
-Just get me a coke and don't argue with me, OK?
-I'm not arguing. I'm just telling you what the deal is--Congresswoman.
-Anything else? Maybe a sandwich?
-What are we going to do!
-What now?
---be prepared.
-We don't have time!
-Let's move it we got company!
-Forget about it.
-He's a very stubborn man sometimes...
-What do you mean?
-After Leizburg, he stuck his neck out to defend me. He's loyal to the end. Even if it's not--politically correct at the time.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-What do you think?
-Let me tell you something Cooper! I never once bad-mouthed him during all those months--
-Cooper...
-I drew my gun, ran in the direction of the cries...violating the first rule of service...I let the Ambass- ador out of my sight.
-What happened?
-You're a lot like my father, Cooper... you think with your heart.
-Now what?
-I'm going first. Taking the fire. If we go out together we're all dead!
-What are you talking about?
-They probably have guards on the roof--and they're gonna be firing at me--not you! ATKINS What makes you so sure?
-Because I'll be firing at them.
-What about rule one: never let the person you are protecting out of your sight!
-Well Filmore--
-Well Cooper...
-Looks like you're not going to make that dinner after all...
-I have a lighter!
-How well do you know this place?
-We're on sublevel six. We'll pass some labs and then we'll hit the stairwell--
-Are the labs in operation?
-I don't see why they wouldn't be.
-How's the arm?
-It's nothing to worry about.
-That's it! Up ahead!
-Where does it lead?
-Enjoying the tour so far?
-Are you going to kill us?
-Go fuck yourself...
-I hope you don't mind all this--it's just that the networks will eat it up, you know...
-You're going to pay for this...
-You understand that they're watching our every move right now--you think you're just going to sail away?
-I know you're not too happy at this point. It's too bad we weren't able to meet elsewhere, under different circumstances...
-I suppose...you think I should thank you.
-You see, it paid off--you broke away from the old guard, congresswoman. It won't be long till they're calling you Senator Filmore--
-Come on, drink up.
-I don't want any...
-I insist...
-Came over the satellite. We're keeping the bird clear should they call back.
-She's still alive.
-Well?
-We've prohibited the networks from broadcasting the transmissions.
-Good.
-Why the hell didn't you tell us this was at stake!
-What about Cooper--where is he?
-Looks like Richter isn't acting alone--he's heading into some dangerous waters.
-She's as good as gone...
-This was taken when Richter was arrested in Washington state, 1985. He was charged with interstate arms trafficking, skipped bail, and has since been a fugitive.
-And--of course there is the human cost, which is incalculable.
-Who's Ryan Cooper?
-And what exactly do they intend to do?
-The ball is in Richter's court. But we're sure as hell not going to sit on our hands while he assassinates people--we're gonna stop the son-of- a-bitch!
-So, what are we looking at White?
-What do you mean?
-What do they have in there that's so valuable? A cure for AIDS, a cure for cancer?
-I assure you gentlemen if we had something of that magnitude it wouldn't be shelved in a lab somewhere...
-Is there anything in there that can blow? We have to be ready for any contingency--
-Chemco makes many things senator! We were under government contract!
-I haven't been briefed on any such thing!
-Apparently, this project is--unique. But it's heavily protected--all formulas are heavily codified!
-What the hell is it, anyhow?
-Well, it's a binary formula--a precise amount of two separate chemicals must be exposed to the nitrogen in the atmosphere simultaneously for it to work.
-He wouldn't take it on the helicopters. He'd transport it through pipelines that connect Chemco to the waterfront...
-What!
-How goes the roll call?
-Have you broken it yet? We've got six more heads and that means six more hours.
-Of course it's codified! Each number probably corresponds to a compound. Have them pull every compound from the lab and compare it to the codes till you figure it out--that's what you're here for.
-Something tells me you don't want to be on TV, friend.
-KZ...7-0...7-0...nine. It checks out.
-Where the hell could they have gone!
-What are you so worked up about jack? Fuck 'em--we don't need 'em.
-I want the girl. I don't care about the rest--but a US congresswoman taken hostage will make for great copy. We'll make headlines all over the world...
-What's happening at the waterfront?
-We're almost done piping in directly to the Olympia. Should have it all in about an hour or so.
-Our traveler's insurance, you know what I mean?
-Gotcha. We've been filling barrels all day--we've got hell of a stockpile.
-Good.
-I say we head out.
-Agreed--let's move it.
-Are you hungry? We can discuss some final arrangements over some slop in the galley.
-My crew is going to work alongside with your men, don't worry--we're a team!
-Why should I worry? Is there a problem?
-Well, there was uh, a little dissent about the amount of the bonus--
-Dissent?
-Are we adrift--
-If I don't get power up we are!
-Drop the anchor!
-We can't--it's power driven!
-Get your men to do it!
-Just what the hell is he talking about?
-Of the separate chemicals--I don't know, uh, offhand--
-How much of this shit do they have, White!!
-They must have got their hands on a test vial!
-What does that mean?
-Please be calm, Ambassador De Sade.
-War-mongering bully! Don't think you're going to intimidate me!
-Can I have a glass of water?
-Certainly - how about some breakfast?
-Possibly some coffee?
-Thank you, Admiral.
-Now, Mister Ambassador. In a very few moments we should have Premier Belch on the phone. I intend to tell him exactly what has happened. I merely want you to authenticate certain facts for him.
-The food - you wouldn't put - anything in it, would you?
-Don't be ridiculous.
-I have your word, Mister President?
-Where are you trying to reach him?
-At his office in the Capitol.
-If he's not there, try... 87 - 43 - 56.
-What's the meaning of this?
-I am sorry. Sub-miniature photography is my hobby. It's amazing what excellent en- largements you can make from the negative.
-Well, it has been explained to me that, if you add a thick Cobalt-Thorium-G jacket to a nuclear device, the radio- activity resulting from such a nuclear explosion will retain its lethal power for a hundred years.
-Our scientists calculated that the detonation of fifty of our biggest nuclear devices, jacketed in Cobalt-Thorium-G would enshroud the earth in a hundred years of lethal radio- activity from which no human life could escape. In ten months the Earth would be as dead as the Moon.
-Where is this...thing?
-Mister Ambassador, what on earth possessed your country to build this weapon?
-But, finally, one factor tipped the scales. We received information from a very re- liable source that your country was going to build one.
-That's preposterous! We have no such program!
-The source was...shall we say, completely reliable.
-Yes?
-Damn you, de Sade! You know as well as I do that this was the act of a mentally sick man - a single individual, whose crack-up can probably be traced to the strains and tensions caused by your country.
-It is very convenient to place all the blame on a dead man.
-This dreadful accident could never have happened if your government hadn't cynically and hypocritic- ally blocked every proposal we made for disarmament or arms control!!
-Bah! All you wanted to do was spy in our country!
-That's nonsense, and you know it!
-I know nothing of the sort!
-Surely, you don't expect us to destroy our weapons without being able to verify that you are doing the same?
-And surely you don't expect us to let you spy in our country before you destroy your weapons.
-And now, Mister President, I must return at once to my embassy to communicate this reassuring news to the Premier.
-Goodbye, Mister Ambassador.
-Excuse me, Mister President, but you forgot to give me my camera back.
-Premier Belch will not be fooled by this fantastic lie.
-Don't you dare touch me! What the devil do you think you're doing?
-I caught you red-handed, Mister Ambassador.
-Give that back to me.
-Do you mean to say you'd set it off in your own country?
-Naturally. It would kill us just as surely even if we set it off in your country. But this way we know it's safe, and we don't have the problem of delivering it.
-Mister President, I can't buy this malarkey; they wouldn't set the damn thing off. Why should they?
-You're absolutely right. We wouldn't. No sane nation ever would. That's why it was designed to trigger itself automatically.
-Then all you have to do is untrigger it.
-Perhaps you gentlemen would like to check with the source?
-You mean you'll tell us his name???
-Please, Mister President, I am extremely shy and do not wish to endure this sort of personal humiliation. Here is the only other camera I have left.
-My seven body orifices????
-That's right, fella.
-Major?...Major? I'm Colonel "Bat" Guano, 701 Battalion.
-Come in...come in... Peace On Earth... Peace On Earth...yes...
-Why are you saying that phrase over and over again?
-I think that just might be it! Although it could be Riki-Tiki-Tavi.
-What are you talking about, Major?
-The three-letter code group. Or maybe some combination of the three letters. P...O...E, or P...E...O, or E...O...P... let's see, there would be six possible combinations.
-Get a grip on yourself, Major!
-Now, snap out of it, fella!
-I did that for your own good, fella. Now I'm not going to pull rank on you. When this is over, I'll be happy to step outside with you and settle this thing. Right now my orders are to locate General Ripper and put him on the phone with the President.
-Do you have any witnesses, Major?
-What?
-What happened, Major? Some kind of private beef between the two of you?
-Look, I didn't shoot him!
-We'll have to leave that up to the C.I.D. boys, won't we, Major?
-Look, Colonel. I've got to talk to somebody at Air Command.
-Don't worry, Major. Your rights will be fully protected.
-Colonel, don't you know what's going on?
-Sure I do. There was some kind of mutiny on the base, and you killed General Ripper.
-Look, General Ripper went off his rocker and ordered the 843rd Bomb Wing to attack with H-bombs.
-You must think I'm an awful sap, Major. Just sit down, fella, and keep your hands on the desk!
-Didn't they tell you?
-They told me, Major. And I didn't hear anything about any atomic attack.
-Okay, fella. But just move slow and don't do anything that might surprise me.
-Now look, I'm picking up this ordinary telephone. See?...Hello?...Hello?... Nuts, the lines must still be disconnected. The General had us disconnect...
-Look, Colonel. Maybe it's too late. Maybe they've sent Air Command in already. But we've got to try to con- tact somebody.
-On your feet, fella. I've got to get outside and see how my men are.
-Okay, Colonel. But look, there's a pay phone just outside in the hall. Maybe that works, huh? Maybe it'll work? What do you think?
-You've wasted enough of my time, fella.
-Wait a minute. The President!! That's it! The President!!!
-What about the President?
-He wanted to talk to General Ripper, didn't he?
-So what?
-Operator...How much would the call be station-to-station?...Thirty-five cents cheaper?...I'd still be short twenty cents ...Just a second, operator... Colonel, shoot the lock off the Coke machine. There's bound to be enough change in there.
-That's government property, Major.
-I'm sorry, sir. General Schmuck is asleep and he isn't taking calls until eight-thirty.
-What is your name, young lady?
-Ceida Pietraszkiewicz.
-What did you say?
-Ceida Pietraszkiewicz...P...I...E... T...R...A...S...Z...K...I...E...W... I...C...Z.
-Yes!
-General Schmuck?
-Go back to sleep, baby.
-I didn't say anything. What's the meaning of disturbing me at this hour, Colonel?
-Colonel, you're not drunk, are you, man?
-No, sir.
-Well, that's ridiculous. If the teleprinter and radio links are out of order, just pick up a phone and pay for a call.
-Does the threat board show anything?
-Well, Mister President.
-What kind of trouble?
-General Schmuck?
-May I be stupid enough to inquire WHY IN HELL THE BASE COMMANDER OF THE 843d BOMB WING DID A THING LIKE THAT ???
-To be perfectly honest, Mister President, we really aren't sure.
-You aren't sure!
-Not exactly, sir. You see, Colonel Puntrich at Air Command HQ received a call from him about twenty minutes ago. He asked General Ripper if he had issued the Go-code and the attack order, and General Ripper said: "Sure, the orders came from me. They're on their way in, and I advise you to get the rest of Air Command in after them. My
-Damn it! Damn it! I've been telling you all for years you've got too damned many psychoes in the service.
-Be fair, Mister President. Didn't we initiate the Human Reliability tests for all personnel handling nuclear weapons?
-Just a second, sir. He's got films of the War Room in that thing!
-Yes, sir. One thing, Mister President.
-Yes?
-Under a condition red alert, the base will probably be sealed off and defended by the base security troops.
-I am aware of what a condition red alert implies.
-Well, sir, they may not allow the Special Service troops to enter the base.
-That's a very wise deduction, General.
-Under the circumstances, General, what would you think they should do?
-Well...I suppose penetrate the base by force.
-You see, you knew the answer all the time, General.
-But that would mean some of our own boys will get hurt, Mister President.
-What do you suppose is going to happen if General Ripper's planes start bombing their targets?
-I didn't speak to him, sir. But Colonel "Bat" Guano was in command of the Special Service battalion, so I would imagine he did.
-I want him upped to Brigadier General, and recomended for the D.S.C.
-Combat Operations Center, Major Mandrake speaking.
-This is General Ripper speaking.
-Yes, sir.
-Do you recognize my voice?
-Why do you think I ask?
-I don't know, sir. We just spoke a few minutes ago.
-Youddon't think I'd ask if you recognized my voice unless it was important, do you, Major?
-Good. Has the Wing confirmed holding at X-points?
-Yes, sir.
-All right, Major. I'm putting the base on condition Red.
-Condition Red!
-That's right. I want this flashed to all section immediately.
-You're a good officer, Major Mandrake. You have a right to know. It looks like we're in a shooting war!
-A shooting war!
-Yes, Major. This looks like it's going to be it.
-But...what kind of a shooting war? Have they hit any of our cities yet?
-Major, that's all I've been told. Just got it on the red phone. The base is to be sealed tight. And I mean tight.
-Let me worry about that, Major. I've still got my red line to the Air Command.
-That's right, sir.
-We don't want to be vulnerable to saboteurs calling up and pretending to be different people from the President down, do we?
-You're right, sir.
-No calls from inside out. No calls from outside in are even answered. No calls.
-I understand, sir. Nothing comes or goes without your personal say-so.
-No calls at all. With or without my say-so. My voice can be imitated too, Major.
-Yes, sir. I just thought of something, sir. How do I know I'm talking to you now?
-Who do you think you're talking to?
-To you, sir. But how do I know?
-Are you trying to be insubordinate?
-No, sir.
-I hope not. Now, as soon as you do what I told you, have Plan-R radioed to the Wing.
-Plan-R????
-Are you hard of hearing, Major?
-No, sir. Plan-R to be radioed to the Wing.
-As soon as you've done that, shut down the communications center. Lock it up and assign the personnel to base security details.
-General Ripper, if I shut down the communi- cations center, there'll be no radio or teleprinter contact with Air Command head- quarters or anyone, for that matter.
-Are you questioning my orders, Major?
-No, sir. I'm just bringing the facts to your attention, sir.
-You're a good officer, Major, and you're perfectly right to bring these facts to my attention.
-Thank you, sir.
-Now, as soon as you've done that, double- up on all base security teams. Our enemies are plenty smart, and there might even be an attack on the base by saboteurs.
-Yes, sir.
-What's the gun for, General Ripper?
-Please don't take any notice of this weapon, Major. I love all weapons, and as of late, I've just taken to keeping a loaded weapon nearby at all times.
-Sort of like a new hobby, huh, General?
-I see you're playing your radio, Major. Isn't that contrary to my instructions for the personnel of this base?
-Oh, it's not my radio, sir. I picked it up in the communications center.
-I didn't mean for anyone to play anyone else's radio either, Major.
-Yes, sir. General, can I ask a question?
-Certainly, Major Mandrake. You're a good officer, and you can ask me a question any time you want to.
-Well, General Ripper, sir -- I was thinking -- we're on a condition red, aren't we?
-That is correct, Major.
-And a condition red means enemy attack in progress, doesn't it?
-You know the regulations well, Major.
-Well, sir, I was thinking, if an enemy attack is in progress, how come the radio's still playing music? It's supposed to go off, and all we should hear are Civil Defense broadcasts.
-That's a good question, Major. Maybe if you think hard, you can think of the answer yourself.
-Well, I was thinking, maybe an enemy attack is not in progress?
-But then, sir, why have you issued the order: Wing attack, Plan-R?
-Suppose that were the case?
-But -- why...that would be an awful thing to do, sir.
-Don't fret about it, Major. There's nothing anyone can do about it now. I'm the only one who knows the three-letter code group for the CRM-114.
-I know that, sir.
-I suppose they are, sir.
-You're damned right they are.
-How much soda, sir.
-That about right?
-What shall we drink to, sir?
-General Ripper, can I ask another question?
-Ask away, Major.
-Well, General -- I was wondering, why are you doing this? I mean why do you want to start the war?
-I've given it alot of thought, Major. Don't think I haven't.
-No, sir. I mean I didn't think you hadn't given it a lot of thought.
-Do you remember what Clemenceau once said about war?
-I don't think so, sir.
-He said war was too important a matter to be left to Generals.
-I see.
-When he said it, fifty years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to the politicians. Do you follow me, Major?
-I'm trying to, sir.
-You see, Major, at this very moment, while we sit and chat, a decision is being made by the President in the War Room. He knows that the enemy will pick up our planes on their radar in about twenty minutes.
-But when they do, sir, won't they hit back with everything they've got?
-If we haven't taken any further action, they certainly will. Doyyourhappen to remember the statistics on our casualties in the event of a full-scale enemy attack?
-Well, I think I remember reading the report on that. Wasn't it something like a hundred and sixty million?
-That's close enough, Major.
-But then why do you want to kill a hundred and sixty million of our people, sir?
-I suppose we might catch them off their guard.
-Our missiles would impact before my planes were even discovered by the enemy, wouldn't they?
-I guess so.
-I know so, Major. I know so. And add to that, the whole Air Command force being committed to clobber everything they've got.
-But even then, we wouldn't get everything. I mean some missiles would abort, or they'd miss their targets, or maybe the enemy have some secret bases we don't know about.
-You're absolutely right. You forgot to mention their nuclear subs. But it wouldn't matter. Sure we wouldn't get off without getting our hair mussed, but we'd prevail. I don't think we'd lose more than fifty million people, tops.
-But if you just let things alone, we wouldn't lose anyone.
-Major Mandrake, I guess you don't follow what's going on too closely, do you?
-Where, sir?
-Well, I know they've been going on for years, and they haven't gotten any place.
-Not yet, Major. Not yet.
-And I guess they won't until they agree to let us inspect inside their country.
-You're very naive, Major. Don't they say they want disarmament?
-Yes, sir. But so do we.
-But we mean it because we are a peace- loving country. Are they a peace-loving country, Major.
-I don't know, sir. But they're just as anxious to avoid a nuclear war as we are. War just doesn't make sense any more, for anybody.
-But war doesn't make sense precisely because the weapons can kill an entire country -- right?
-Right.
-Then don't you realize the Bomb gives us Peace not War? And, if that's the case, I ask you again: Why do they want disarmament?
-Go on, Major.
-I was just going to say, as long as the weapons exist, sooner or later something's going to happen -- and that'll be it for both countries.
-I've heard the arguments. Like Napoleon's quote, "There's one thing you can't do with a bayonet, and that's - sit on it."
-That's right, sir. And don't forget in a few years a lot of other countries will have the bomb. What if they start something?
-Go on, Major. You fascinate me.
-I still ask, why do they want disarmament?
-Well, for the same reasons we do, sir. Don't you see?
-No, Major, I don't. They have no regard for human life. They wouldn't care if they lost their whole country as long as they won.
-Gee, sir, that last remark doesn't exactly make all the sense in the world.
-Major, you're talking like one of them!
-Well, I'm not, sir. Honestly, sir.
-Don't be offended, Major. Our President holds the same views.
-Don't you think he knows something about this, General Ripper?
-I'll tell you what I do think. If they say they're for disarmament, I say anyone who says they're for disarmament is either a traitor or a damned fool.
-But, General, we're on our toes. We haven't agreed to anything for years. Inffact, a a lot of people say we never will.
-But if they suddenly opened up and gave us the inspection we want, we'd agree, wouldn't we?
-If they gave us what we think we need, yes, I guess we would.
-And you'd like to see that?
-General, what's good enough for the President and all the experts he's got working on the thing, is good enough for me.
-Do you think we'd cheat?
-No, sir. I'm sure we wouldn't.
-Do you think they would cheat?
-Look, sir. I'm no expert on the subject, but I've read some pretty sharp ideas the big boys have. Like, say, both countries agreeing to a million dollar reward and international protection for anyone who gives evidence of cheating to the inspectors. You can't hide those things without a lot of people knowing about it. And if I were going to try and hide
-Major, those are my boys out there dying.
-To peace on earth, Major.
-General, now that you've done that, I beg you to recall the Wing.
-It was a honest mistake, sir.
-I presume the planes are armed?
-I'm afraid so, Mister Presient. Being part of the air-borne alert, each plane is carrying a full load - about fifty megatons apiece.
-Well, what about the Positive Control, the safety catch? Don't the planes automatically come back unless they get a second order?
-That's right, sir. But the planes were at their Positive Control points, ready to turn around when General Ripper issued the final Go-code.
-And I suppose there's some reason why you haven't recalled them?
-Yes, sir. The base commander, General Ripper, selected Plan-R?
-What the hell is Plan-R?
-Well, sir, Plan-R is an emergency plan to be used by lower echelon commanders if higher echelons have been knocked out by a sneak attack.
-Why can't you cancel it?
-Once the orders have been given, Plan-R requires any new orders to be received on the CRM-114 in the aircraft. But the CRM-114 will not receive any transmissions unless they are preceded by the proper three-letter code group.
-And I suppose you're going to tell me you don't know what the three-letter code is.
-How soon until the enemy finds out what's going on?
-We estimate the planes should be entering their coastal radar cover in about twenty-five min- utes.
-How could you let this happen, General Schmuck?
-Mister President, I know you think I've let you down, but we had to have a Plan-R. If we completely centralized the command and control, all a potential aggressor would have to worry about was knock- ing out maybe half a dozen headquarters and the Capitol, and we'd be out of business. We'd have planes and missiles just sitting there while we were getting
-Then there's no chance for recall?
-General Jack D. Ripper, sir.
-I want to talk to General Ripper.
-I don't think that's a fair analogy, sir.
-But he'll hear everything we're saying. And if he just looks out of that window, he'll see everything we're doing.
-We don't operate like you KGB boys.
-Have you received acknowledgements from every plane?
-They're coming in now.
-How long will it take to receive them all?
-I believe it will be just a few minutes, at the most.
-How many planes did we lose?
-I'm not certain, Mister President. But I believe it was four.
-General Schmuck, are you positive of your figures?
-Naturally I am, sir.
-He says they've only shot down three planes.
-Well, if you choose to take his word over mine ---
-Look, he's there, and you're here.
-Mister President, there were thirty-four aircraft involved. Thirty acknowledged the recall. That makes four shot down.
-How do you know they were shot down, Buck?
-Yes?
-Well, sir, it looks like one aircraft, the "Leper Colony", failed to receive the recall.
-Have you tried the recall again?
-Yes, sir. We're still sending it. But it's a funny thing we don't seem to be able to make any contact with the aircraft at all.
-What's the target.
-Is there any chance a single aircraft can penetrate the entire enemy Air Defense, when its course and target are known?
-If I can speak freely, sir -- look, these guys talk big, but frankly, we think they're short of know-how. You can't just take a bunch of ignorant peasants and expect them to understand a machine like one of our boys, and I don't mean that as an insult, Mister Ambassador. Hell, we all know what kind of guts your people have. Why just
-General, stick to the point, please.
-You've lied to me twice - I'm sorry, but it will be strictly routine. These men are experts.
-Yeah, to see if we're on our toes.
-Give me a first rough course as soon as you can, Lieutenant Ballmuff.
-I've got the heading, Major. One-three-eight.
-Roger, maintain.
-We should be crossing the coast in about six minutes.
-Thanks, Binky. Can you see Bromdingna Island yet?
-All right...we're still flying. I'm taking her down to the deck.
-Give me revs for maximum speed at sea level.
-You know what that'll do to our fuel consumption.
-What else could it be?
-He's right. We wouldn't have started it.
-They must have clobbered some of our cities already!
-He's right. They must have clobbered some of our cities already.
-Maximum ECM.
-Then this is it.
-What?
-War.
-I'm sorry, Major Kong. I guess I was way out of line.
-A through H is correct.
-Main interference linked to electronic detector. Fight interference on readi- ness state.
-Check.
-Check.
-Missiles! Sixty miles off, heading in fast. Steady track, they look like beam riders.
-Just the missiles.
-They must have been fired from Bromdingna - probably one of their new Vampire - 202's. They've got a range well over a hundred miles.
-Forty-five. Still coming straight and fast. Twelve o' clock.
-Speed?
-Between Mach 3 and 4.
-Call them every five miles.
-Twenty! Twelve o' clock.
-Shouldn't be bad. Might even help. But my guess is we're going to have to paddle our way back.
-Yeah, I got it in the thigh.
-Why can't he help me now? He's sitting two feet away from me!
-Come on, Quentin, isn't that pretty selfish, putting yourself ahead of the mission?
-Look, I'm shot - it hurts.
-Lieutenant Quiffer, we're all sorry you were hit, and we'll help you stick it together as soon as we get squared away.
-Roger.
-Fighters closing fast - range fifty miles.
-They must have made a visual contact.
-Must be Mach two-five stuff. Altitude fifteen thousand.
-They can't touch us at this height.
-If they come down low enough to make a firing pass, they'll never be able to pull up in time.
-I think they mean business.
-Sorry, King. My leg's stiff as a board.
-Well, listen, King. Could you take her up to about eight hundred? That'll help you come in at a nice down-angle, and it'll give us a chance for our chutes to open.
-Sure, I'll take her up to eight hundred.
-Could you take her up right now, King? Other- wise we'll get kind of close to the fireball.
-Hey, King. Somebody at Burpelson has a very perverted sense of humor.
-Yeah?
-Wing attack, Plan-R. That's exactly what it says.
-Check your code again. No one at base would pull a stunt like that, Terry.
-No, this looks like the real thing.
-Okay. Check these points. Complete radio silence. To ensure that the enemy can't plant false transmissions and fake orders, the CRM-114 is to be switched into all receiver circuits. The three code letters of the period are to be set on the alphabet dials of the CRM-114, which will in turn block any transmissions other than those preceded by the code letters. You got
-Roger, I'm setting up the CRM-114.
-Lieutenant Toejam, are you ready for Bim and Bam?
-Primary arming switch.
-I thought I should check out the damage first. My gear is busted up pretty bad.
-So am I.
-Listen, I think I'm hit bad.
-Where'd they get you?
-What does it look like?
-Some kind of signaling.
-No kidding.
-Yep, it's the CRM-114 code, all right.
-Gee, we hate to leave you like this, Major Kong. But there isn't anything we can really accomplish by sticking around.
-Listen, King, old buddy. On behalf---
-In about twenty minutes we start losing height to keep under coastal radar. Cross in over the coast low-level, continue low- level on zig-zag legs to primary, and climb for bomb run. Any questions?
-I've got one.
-Shoot, Lothar.
-Our targets are a missile complex and an airfield - not cities, right?
-That's what I said.
-Well, if there's a war, they must have hit us first.
-What's your point, Lothar?
-Well, if they hit us first, they've probably fired off their missiles and got their planes off the ground already. We'll just be hitting empty real estate.
-Are you saying our order don't make sense?
-Check target approach.
-Bomb doors circuit is green, bomb release circuit is green, bomb fusing circuit is green.
-Check, all bomb circuits green. Okay, Lothar.
-When do you want to arm the bomb for the primary, Major?
-Primary circuit is live.
-Release first safety.
-Second safety.
-Fusing for ten thousand air burst.
-Master safety.
-Primary bomb is live.
-All right, Lothat, that does it. Master safety on now until bomb run.
-Let's have a rundown on the damage, Lothar?
-Everything still checks out okay.
-Yes, Major.
-Lothar, get up here fast, and bring your First- Aid kit! I'm hit kinda bad, I think.
-Can't "Ace" help you?
-He's dead.
-What happened?
-I bit his jugular vein. Now will you shut up and get up here???
-Where'd they get you?
-How do you know he's dead?
-He's dead, all right.
-I don't know what we got left besides Bim and Bam.
-No, look! It's "OPE - Recall Mistake."
-Recall what mistake?
-You sure have to hand it to those guys.
-What do you mean?
-I mean pulling a stunt like that.
-What do you mean?
-Well, we sure as hell aren't going home just because the enemy tells us to.
-Wait a minute, Major. "OPE," that's the recall code. Where would they get that?
-You tell me.
-They must have gotten it from the base. No one else would know it.
-Why should they call us back?
-Lieutenant Zogg, what do our orders say about the authentication of orders during an attack mission?
-Look, this is different.
-Our orders warn us to expect the enemy to use ingenuity in issuing contrary and confusing orders. And therefore, to disregard anything that doesn't come on the CRM-114.
-But the CRM-114 has been smashed for almost an hour.
-Then that settles it, doesn't it?
-Like hell it does.
-The CRM-114 is smashed, right?
-Right. So how could we get any messages?
-That's the point.
-I don't get you, King.
-I said that's the point!
-Look, King, maybe you've lost too much blood, or something.
-Lieutentant Zogg, how would you like your black butt slung into a General Court Martial when we get back???
-Take it easy, Major Kong.
-There are plenty of traitors and spies running around loose.
-But the code is made up by General Ripper, and he's the only one left at the base who would know the code.
-Nobody's loyalty is beyond question. Besides, how do we know one of his staff didn't see it?
-Come on, King. That doesn't make sense.
-We crossed the coast over an hour ago. Okay?
-You're giving them an awful lot of credit for being on the ball.
-First lesson in War College: Never under- estimate your enemy.
-Sorry, King.
-Who's that?
-It's me - Lothar. Are you okay?
-I'm okay. What's up?
-Well, I hate to say this, but I think the bomb bay doors are stuck.
-Are you sure?
-Well, I can't get out and look, King. But I don't get a green light.
-Maybe the warning system's out.
-But I get a red light.
-Have you tried the emergency system?
-Lothar, can you arm the bombs for impact?
-But I TOLD YOU, I don't think we can get the bomb bay doors open.
-I asked you a question, Lothar!
-There's no other way, Lothar. Can you re-arm the bombs for impact?
-Let me check.
-I think it's okay, King. They should go off on impact.
-Would it matter if they hit at a flat angle? I mean, do you think the deuterium mass might separate from the atomic trigger?
-Well, it would probably help if you took it ...sort of...straight down.
-We're on course, Major. Just fixed our position on that river back there.
-I thought I'd go along for the ride.
-Now what the hell did you want to go and do a thing like that for, Lothar?
-King, would you mind if I keep me hands on the wheel when you take her in?
-I'd be mighty proud if you did, Lothar.
-Thanks, King. I've always wanted to take one of these big babies in.
-Listen, Lothar. You know that crack I made about your...butt?
-Forget it.
-I just wanted you to know I didn't mean anything by it.
-Sure, King.
-At the bottom of mines?
-In a matter of weeks, sufficient improvements for a dwelling space could be provided.
-But they couldn't come out for a hundred years!
-It would not be difficult. Nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain plant life. Animals could be bred and slaughtered. A quick survey would have to be made of all the suitable minesites in the country, but I shouldn't be surprised if several hundred thousand of our people could be accomodatedd. Every nation would undoubtedly follow suit.
-But who would be chosen?
-When they emerge, a good deal of present real estate and machine tools will still be recoverable, if they are moth-balled in advance. I would guess they could then work their way back to our present gross national product within twenty years.
-But, look here, Von Klutz. Won't this nucleus of survivors be so shocked, grief-stricken, and anguished that they will envy the dead, and indeed, not wish to go on living?
-Uh, yeah, she should be coming by.
-Uh, well, what'd she say? Is Pony coming?
-We are?
-Mn-hm.
-Um-hm.
-I just walked all the way from Westside to here. I haven't walked that far since junior high. I thought you didn't drink.
-I don't anymore.
-Can I have some?
-You know, one moment things are so fucked up than you look at it from a totally different angle and it makes sense.
-Yeah.
-Did you ever hear that saying, "This too shall pass"?
-Sure, all the time, in Group.
-In Group?
-Rehab. Outpatient. I have to go once a week. It's kind of like AA.
-Oh, yeah, you had to go to Highgate. That must've been intense.
-Intense.
-How long were you in there?
-Uh, ninety days. And now I just have to go once a week. See, I'm rehabilitated.
-Well, you shouldn't drink. Are you gonna drink?
-No. Oh, maybe. Fuck.
-I mean, that would suck if you had to go back to rehab.
-Yeah, it would suck big time. I'd kill myself first.
-It was pretty bad, huh?
-We were all riding around and it suddenly hit me what we were doing. We were getting off on the fact that we're in a car teen feet longer than all the rest. And I got out and I just started walking.
-Yeah.
-Well, what it was... I, I don't want to admit it, but, you know, I was jealous of Pony.
-Well, sure, he's rich and he's famous. He's got everything and you've got nothing.
-Yeah, but, when I was walking, I realized that he's stuck in that limo all the time. He's stuck with his interviews, he's stuck with his autograph, he has to do whatever his manager tells him to do, you know? He's not free. He's just part of the machine, and if you think about it, freedom's all that there really is.
-Yeah, I guess.
-You know? And it used to scare me so much that I didn't know what was coming in my life.
-Mm-hm.
-That was really great.
-Was it okay?
-Yeah!
-What did you guys think?
-Slides go with it.
-It's called "Burger Manifesto, Part One The Dialectical Expression of Testosterone." Isn't that a great title?
-Uh-huh.
-Responsibility, progress.
-Typical male.
-Typical male.
-Typical male.
-Uh, home, you know.
-Yeah, I talked to your mom. I think I woke her up. I hope I didn't get you in trouble.
-Want a beer? Is Pony coming?
-Yeah, we all want to see him. So when's he coming?
-Hey!
-Hey. Do you have a cigarette?
-No I quit.
-Hey, you said you did a video?
-Yup.
-What's it about?
-It's really not about anything.
-Oh. Well, what's it on?
-A cloud.
-A cloud?
-Yeah. There was this cloud and I video taped it.
-Oh.
-I was doing schrooms and I saw this cloud. It looks excellent on tape. The video is like my head and, and everything, you know, is, like, is like in there that I see. You know? Plus, I'm gonna come down here one night and walk around inside the Circle A with the camera and tape shit.
-Oh, that's so amazing. I wish I could see it.
-You can see it. Whenever you want. Don't you, um, work at a hospital or something?
-Yeah, I'm a nurse's aide at Mercy.
-Your a nurse?
-No, I, you know, I help 'em out. I empty bedpans and bring 'em lunch. That kind of thing.
-Any gunshot victims?
-Oh, some of 'em. But it's mostly just strokes and shit. I mean, most of 'em just sleep all the time and get kind of yellow. Usually they die id they're, you know, really yellow.
-Sounds like a bummer.
-Oh, no, it's not. I mean, they're not all totally in a coma. I mean, they know when I'm helping them.
-Mm. Hey, what are you doing now?
-Right now?
-Yeah.
-I don't know. Waiting, I guess. You know?
-Do you wanna go to the van?
-Now?
-Yeah, we could hang out and smoke a dube, you know?
-I don't smoke dubes and I don't really hang out. But I'll go back. Okay.
-Guy should cut down on his caffeine intake.
-Oh yeah? Oh, how'd you ship it over there, man? Federal Express? Hm? By the time it got there it'd be way cold and coagulated. Total waste. Cheese be stuck to the cardboard.
-Buff, that slice is the difference between life and death for some half-dead Bangladeshi.
-Yo, your gettin' me all upset here.
-Your ability to fantasize is only exceeded by your ability to lie.
-Oh, untrue, Jeffster. I think, uh, two weeks ago we attended a concert where I had fucked two girls.
-Hey, it's me. No, that's, that's the ultimate liar of liars.
-And your mom.
-No, I'm here. Where are you?
-Where are you-hoo?
-No, no, no, no, I don't wanna be stuck with the guy. I want the tickets.
-Stuck, who? What guy? Huh?
-Stuck with what guy?
-What?
-You said you didn't want to get stuck with some guy. What guy?
-No, uh, nobody. It's, uh, it's my birthday this week and Sooze's brother might come by to wish me a happy birthday.
-It's your birthday?
-Yeah.
-But, so, Pony's comin' by here to the corner?
-Pony's coming here to the corner?!
-I don't know. Later. I don't know.
-Don't let 'em fight.
-No, I seriously doubt that Pony's gonna be in a limo.
-That's the rock star thing.
-No, no.
-Oh, I'll bet you he has a babe with him right out of a triple-x video. Oh, oh, Pony, come on, give it to me! Stud! Oh!
-Buff, Buff, Buff, Buff, Buff.
-Sorry.
-Jesus Christ.
-You wanna bet he's with a girl?
-No, he's not with a girl.
-Oh, right. Oh, oh my God! Pony, it's so huge!
-You know what? He probably gets bored with all that shit.
-Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, um, how do you figure that?
-I'd get bored.
-I wouldn't. If I were in his shoes, every morning I'd get up singing, man. Do my work-out, take a shower, followed by a hearty breakfast, steak and eggs, washed down with a pot of hot coffee, six pack of Coors Lite. Then I'd order my bodyguard to go find my babe, who would appear decked out in her all-black leather Victoria Secret custom-made
-That sounds so great, man. Yes. Yes. Hey, what would you do in the afternoon?
-Same, more of the same. Yep, just keep doing the same thing all the time, around and around the clock. With an occasional burger or slice of thrown in for our vitamins and energy. Then, instead of watching Gilligan, we'd watch Captain Kirk.
-That sounds so depressing.
-Oh, come on, man. Tell me you wouldn't love it!
-No, I'm not saying that I wouldn't love it.
-Ah!
-I'm saying no, I'm saying after a while it'd wear thin.
-Yeah, a long while. A long, long while.
-A long, long, long, long, while.
-Okay, okay.
-A long, long, long...
-So, do you guys want to do something, go someplace or something like that?
-Go!
-You know what we should do? Go to the...
-Fuck it!
-You know what? Go with him. Just go with him.
-Hey! Whoa, you look like shit. You been home yet?
-No, no.
-Hey. Hey. Are you trying to get a hold of Sooze?
-Yeah. Get ahold of Sooze?
-No, no, I wasn't trying.
-She was at the Four Seasons last night, man. But you shouldn't worry about that.
-No, I'm not, I'm not worried. I'm not worried.
-No. Life is too short.
-No, I'm not worried.
-Good.
-Uh, Buff, I'm, I'm, gonna tell you something and, uh, you got, you got, you gotta promise not to tell anyone, alright?
-Sure.
-No, I mean, no one.
-Hey, you know me.
-Buff, look at me for a second. No, this is serious.
-Yeah.
-Uh, last night...
-Yeah, I should've stuck up for you, man, I know. You're my friend, she's your old lady.
-No, no.
-I feel really bad about that, but I was busy, you know, I mean...
-No, look, this is not about Sooze, alright. Wait, wait, wait, wait. She stayed at the Four Seasons last night with Pony?
-Yeah, we all stayed at the Four Seasons, man. It was party time. Hey, I hung out with Danny, Pony's manager. Really nice guy. We talked about the video. They want a raw look. Something fresh. Danny said if I can capture the reality of Burnfield, it'd make a great tape.
-Okay, Buff, listen to me for a second alright?
-No, I know what you're going to say. I don't know anything about making a video. But that's a plus.
-No.
-Because since I'm just starting out, I've got a fresh point of view, and that's good for, you know, marketing, demographics...
-Buff, listen to me. Could you just-
-But I'd, I'd do it for free. You know, just for my reel.
-Buff, can you listen to me for a second?
-Oh, and guess who showed up.
-No, shut up! Look, look, alright, Tim is in trouble.
-I know, man.
-You know?
-Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you. That chick Erica?
-What, they're looking for her?
-No man, she showed up last night at the hotel. We has a great time together. I stayed in her room last night, man. What can I say?
-Wait a minute, wait a minute. You saw Erica last night?
-Yeah, I saw all of Erica last night, man.
-Buff, you got to stop making shit up. It didn't happen.
-Y- s-sure it did.
-No. It didn't, Buff.
-Wait. Hey, man.
-Erica is in the van back there.
-What?
-Look.
-Hey, man.
-She's in the van.
-What she doin' in the van, man?
-Buff...
-What?
-She's dead.
-She's dead?
-Look, Tim confessed to me last night.
-Tim...
-Tim killed Erica. Tim's a murderer.
-Bullshit.
-No, no, no.
-That's bullshit. That's total utter bullshit.
-Oh, really? You wanna go look?
-Yeah, man.
-Let's go look, then. Let's go look, then!
-Ow! Hey! Get the heck in there! Hey... Not dead! Definitely not dead!
-Guess not.
-See, I wasn't making shit up, man.
-No.
-God, Tim lied to your ass, man. That guy's sad, man. Well, uh, I gotta go, but, uh, listen, if I don't come back, I'll send a video of me surfing. Alright, man? Get some rest. Go with the flow.
-Ah, you know people there?
-Fuck her! Come on, let's go.
-Hey, I'm Sooze.
-Yeah.
-Come on.
-Sure. You make art and you want people to see it.
-Hey, come on, man! Limo!
-Really?
-I don't think I like that guy's attitude at all. Hey, you know what? Take off the blades. I mean it. I'm gonna break your fucking legs. Take 'em off.
-Come on man.
-Pony? What's a "pony"? You mean that geek who played the folk music at the senior prom? What's that guy's name? Neil Moynihan?
-Hey! On behalf of Burnfield, I present to you the keys to the city.
-So, how was the ride, kids?
-Great.
-They are old, we are young, they are fast, we are fun.
-Hey, man.
-Yeah, he's told me. Burnfield. We all hear about Burnfield.
-Mm. You know, does he tell you about how, uh, Jeff, Pony, started the band...?
-Oh, you were in the band?
-Your his publicist?
-Sure I am. It's fun.
-What do you mean? His girlfriend?
-Well, that's one way of putting it.
-Am I fucking him?
-Shit.
-So, then, you're, like, available?
-In what way?
-Buff.
-Yes! Free concert!
-Hey! Hey.
-I'm so burnt-out.
-Oh, how did you get burnt-out?
-Playing with something really hot. Yeah.
-Oh, my God, you found it. Thank you so much. Did you get your tape?
-Yup. Hey, um, so, um, listen, man, I got to go show the tape to Danny at the hotel, and if I get the gig, Erica is gonna teach me how to surf in L.A.
-Oh, I'll teach you how to surf even if you don't get the gig.
-I can come visit?
-You better! Yes!
-I will.
-Score! Yeah!
-He paid you man.
-You owe me twenty cents. Come on, seven-twenty. Seven-twenty.
-Hey, we're just having a conversation.
-Look, look, look. You gotta go now, okay? The customers complain.
-We're your customers. We're not complaining.
-It's safe, come on.
-Hey, call the cops! Call 'em, call 'em right now, man. Maybe my cousin Jerry will show up. He'll definitely take your word over mine. You can tell him about the trespassing. I'll tell him about how you sell beer to minors.
-You stand someplace else, man. You stand someplace else. This is our corner. You don't fucking own it!
-Yes I do. My family owns it. It's ours. You don't belong here.
-Pakeesa? It's okay. Come on. It's okay. Come on, they're just joking around.
-Yeah. Yeah, it's okay for you. It's okay. Enjoy yourself.
-Are you talking to me?
-It's okay.
-Glad it's okay.
-I'll tell you what. When I get my engineering degree and I'm swimming in my swimming pool, it will be very fucking okay.
-Um, if you're talking to me, could you make some sense? 'Cause I don't speak Swahili.
-In two more years I'll have an engineering degree. We'll sell the store, we'll move away from Burnfield and the store and you standing here.
-Good. See you later.
-You're a drunk and an idiot.
-You're wife sucks my cock every night, swallows my cum and loves it. That's okay.
-Yeah, well, uh, you're not so smart, chief, 'cause I'm moving out to L.A.
-Hey, yes! Hey, Pony, man! Great concert tonight!
-Oh, you were there?
-No, but I heard it was great.
-So tell us, man. Party time, trashin' hotel rooms, babes around the clock?
-Naw, naw, we don't have time for all that.
-Yeah, we're all above that.
-See, I wrote something about all this. Uh, it, it's a song about...
-No, no, no, no, no, it's new.
-Please.
-I don't care. I'm gonna drop it. I'm gonna drop it. I'm...
-Whoa!
-Hey, I'm glad you put truth in your song, man. That's important.
-Come on, man. Sh, sh, sh.
-Thanks. See man?
-You make videos?
-Oh, yeah, all the time. That's what I do now.
-You know what would be cool is, like, to do a music video, you know? But, like, you know, have it set in here. You know, like, like, like, with her and shit. You know, like, you know, like, "Closed, closed, closed, closed, closed, closed."
-"Closed, closed, closed." But with your music.
-You could do it.
-I could.
-Yeah!
-Yeah.
-I mean, do you have something I could show my manager? I mean, do you have a reel?
-Yes!
-Yeah!
-You okay, man? You okay?
-I didn't want to eat this much, man.
-Hey, play that demo again, man. Alright.
-Thanks, man!
-What's up guys?
-You were a shitty lineman and now your a shitty cop. Yeah, blow me, I'm drunk.
-Okay, come on. Time to slow down.
-Who's going to slow me down? You, you fat pig.
-Alright, get in the car before I have to embarrass you in front of your friend.
-Will you stand up for me?
-Okay.
-Come on. Inside.
-So you came by to see how the other half lives, huh? Well, here we are, What do you think? Pretty fucking pathetic huh? Kind of like one of those documentaries on educational TV?
-It's nice here. It's different.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-So you, like, come from a town like this or...?
-No, not really. I come from an "area". Bel Air.
-You rich?
-No, not really. Middle-class.
-Oh, me too. Middle-class.
-Thinks he is. Well, he is.
-He is?
-Yes.
-He is.
-He is.
-You got everything right but the car. My dad didn't get me a BMW.
-What'd he get you?
-A Porsche.
-Mm.
-Yeah. So, what about you?
-What about me? I don't have a car.
-You just seem to know all these things about me and I don't know anything about you, you know. What kind of music do you like?
-Military marching bands.
-You think I'm rich and you hate me.
-Now, how the hell would you know what I think? Hm? You don't know me.
-I'd like to.
-Oh, yeah?
-You know, it was the biggest mistake of my life.
-Really?
-Well, I mean, you have to understand I was just this dopey kid mopping floors and kissing officer ass. I mean, well, I enlisted right out of high school. So I just wanted something different in my life.
-Mm.
-"It's not a job, it's an adventure." Right? I hated it. I had to get out. So I was working in the kitchen, chopping lettuce, you know, real heroic stuff, and I, uh, I had this big fucking knife and I chopped off the tip of my little finger and three days later I was a free man.
-You cut off your little finger?
-Well, they, uh they were nice enough to sew it back on.
-I mean, what is there to be happy about really? I mean, going to the gym, climbing the StairMaster, eating the yogurt, checking the voice mail. Smoking the low-tar cigarettes, shaving the bikini line. Sometimes I just want something different, you know?
-What was your name again?
-Erica.
-Erica. So do you think you and I are alike, Erica?
-Deep down. Way down.
-It's a mistake to think that.
-We could still talk, you know? It's nice to talk.
-It's nice to do a lot of things.
-That's what I mean.
-I'm not a nice guy.
-I know. It's okay.
-Yeah?
-Mm-hm. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. If I didn't want to be here, I'd be in a limo right now with a bunch of kids looking for Chinese food.
-No, no, see, you, you don't understand.
-It's okay. This kind of thing happens. It's just never happened to me. I'm sorry. It's true though. Mm. So, um, what's your TCB tattoo stand for? What's that about?
-Taking care of business.
-He says we got to be at the radio station at seven a.m. Can you handle that?
-Oh, sure.
-Great. Hi. I'm Erica.
-Oh, Erica, this is my friend Jeff.
-Hi, Jeff. Nice to meet you.
-Jeff, Erica. God, it's so amazing to be back home.
-Oh, wow.
-Oh, you were excellent tonight, Pony.
-We were?
-I love writing. A-Anne Rice? I love Anne Rice.
-Mm.
-He wrote this thing about his dick once and he read it in front of the whole class.
-I'd love to read that.
-Hi.
-Oh, uh, Erica? Erica is the publicist for the band.
-Nice to meet you Sooze. Hi, I'm Erica.
-Um, mother-daughter.
-Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's, you know, it's a bed and hot water.
-It's coming along.
-Erica, you coming?
-Two-fifty.
-Two-fifty? They go up?
-Can you tell me what happened?
-He's drunk.
-Uh-huh.
-Buff, sit. You know what I mean though? Somebody ought to crack that guy with a baseball bat.
-Yeah, well, he's from a Third World country. He doesn't have it easy.
-What? What the fuck do you know about the third world? You been there? No? No, well, I have. Fuckers live like sardines in a can over there, you know. Everything stinks. It's true, there's no, you know, law, no order. No nothing. The assholes come over here, they think it's gonna be the same.
-Hey, he's a human being you can give him that much.
-Actually, the only thing I gotta give that guy is a one-way ticket back to Greaseball-land.
-If it's all so fucking futile, what the fuck are you so fucking upset about, fuckhead?
-You don't need to sit next to me right now.
-Who were you talking to?
-Oh, no, you wanted to get together with your close friend, Pony, the rockstar. I understand. So you, do you, want us to, leave?
-Jeff, Jeff, if you want to be alone with Pony, you know, that's, that's fine with us.
-Sooze wants to see him.
-Yeah, yeah, I stay at the Four Seas, it's ease.
-Wow, you're cute when you're angry.
-No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't need a limousine to know who I am, alright?
-Right on. You know what? He doesn't need the limo, man.
-I mean, you know, at least I admit that I don't know. I know that things are fucked up beyond belief and I know that I have nothing original to say about any of it, alright? I don't have an answer. I don't have a fucking message.
-Okay, great. Well, now he's crying. Are you guys happy?
-I ate a dog when I was in Thailand. Tasted exactly like this sparerib.
-Tim, what are you talking about?
-See ya later.
-To women. They're all whores. Let us not forget what Chenowsky said. "The greatest men are the most alone." And without suffering, Jeffery, you will never gain wisdom.
-I'm not suffering, you know. I don't give a shit.
-Yeah. Yeah, no, you're right. It's no big deal, you know. Guy probably has his arm around her right now, holding her close, nudging her titty with his elbow, talking about the deep significance of his music, while she looks up at him with her big brown eyes. In a few minutes they'll be back at the Four Seasons. You ever, you ever stayed
-No.
-Well, it ain't no pup tent in the garage, you know what I mean? Fuck. So they'll talk and talk. They'll probably talk all night. And, oh, they'll decide that they're gonna spend the night together, right? But, you know, they're gonna keep their underwear on and they're not gonna do anything. By six a.m. he's parking the pink Cadillac. Fuck. There's really only
-What?
-Anarchy, my friend. Fuck 'em. You know what I mean?
-Yeah, fuck 'em.
-No, no, say it like this. Fuck 'em!
-Oh, no, no, no. This is no big deal, you know? I can come down and, and get you out.
-No, no. I'm not, I'm not talking about this. I did a bad thing, Jeff.
-What? What'd you do?
-That chick, Erica?
-Well, w-what happened?
-Well, I, you know, I took her to the van, you know. It was goin' all hot and heavy and she started hanging on me, you know? And she started crying, "Tim, Tim, what's the matter? I love you. Don't go!" And I was just looking at her stupid face and her stupid eyes, stupid mouth and I was filled with disgust, man. And
-What'd you do?
-I hit her.
-You hit her? Oh, wait, wait a minute. Why'd you hit her?
-Because I was fucked up, man. I just kept hittin' her till she didn't move anymore.
-Wait a minute, wait a minute. She's unconscious?
-Go look, man. Go look. Go see for yourself, if you got the guts.
-They let you out?
-Yeah, of course they let me out. Chickenshits. I gotta pay some class C misdemeanor ticket. So did I call it or did I call it? She spent the night, didn't she? Hm? Oh, that sucks for you, pal. Oh, shit.
-You lied to me.
-You want to know what your problem is, Jeff? You want to believe so bad, you'll buy anything. It's true. Look at you. You're gullible and you're gutless.
-No, no. That's not the way it is at all. No, I stayed up all night trying to figure out how to protect my best friend. Wait, yeah, no, I was trying to come up with some lie so that you wouldn't have to go to jail for the rest of your life.
-Wow. You did that for me?
-Yes.
-Well, you know, all I can say is, you're a fucking fool.
-Why? Because I give a shit?
-Oh, shit.
-Because I care, I'm a fucking fool?
-Oh, Jeff, give me a break. You didn't even have the guts to go look in the van, did you?
-Oh no, no. You know what? Fuck that. No, you lied to me. You lied to me because you're gutless. You're a gutless, drunken looser.
-I'm a loser. And I'm drunk. But I'm not gutless.
-You know, and what are you doing here in the first place, man? He's just gonna call the cops again.
-Good, good. I, I hope he does.
-The sun hasn't even come up yet and you're drinking.
-Hey, you saw that brown bitch point a gun at me last night, man. Did you think she was gonna use it?
-I don't know.
-You don't know?
-No.
-Come on. You don't think that after they called the cops on me, her and Mohammed had a nice laugh?
-No? Well, I disagree. I think they did. I think they probably went home last night and, you know, kicked off their sandals and had a nice laugh about the drunk on the corner, you know? Makes me sick.
-What are, what are you doing? Look, Tim, just go home. Alright. Go home and sleep it off.
-Well, what am I supposed to sleep off? My life? You know, I'm supposed to go home and go to sleep and when I wake up, what'll I be, Jeff? A pilot? Maybe a Super Bowl quarterback or, no, maybe a fucking rock star. Right? I don't think so, man.
-Just go home, alright?
-This is my home.
-Why, why did you start this in the first place, man? They never hurt you.
-They never hurt me? They hurt me every day with their attitude. You know, like they even have a right. Who the fuck do they think they are? Let me tell you something, I was born here. Alright? I'm an American. And I'm owed something. Look, they took it from me.
-They're just people. Alright? They got feelings, you know?
-What about my feelings? What about my fucking feelings? These assholes, they come over here, they know all the answers, right? Well, they don't know shit.
-Will you just put the gun down?
-No.
-Jeff, stay there.
-He's got a gun. He's got a gun.
-Hey, w-why don't you see if he's hiring, you know? Get an application?
-Tim, can we go? This is ridiculous.
-Jeff! Come up here!
-Is that Bee-Bee?
-What?
-Seven-twenty.
-Why we're just standing here.
-You know, this, what you're doing with your life...
-I don't know.
-You know, it's not you. You know? You seem like a smart guy.
-Yeah, well, thank you for the advice, but you wouldn't understand what is going on with me.
-Oh, it's very complicated, huh?
-That's right.
-No, wait, wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! What is your name?
-Look, why do you care, huh?
-Because maybe if we know each other's names, things wouldn't get like this, My name's Jeff.
-Okay. Nazeer, okay?
-Nazeer what?
-Please?
-This has nothing to do with me! She went up by herself. Yeah I tell them don't go on the roof! They can't go on the roof! How is she?
-I don't know. I think she's breathing.
-God, I haven't seen you all day.
-You could've come over.
-Oh! Trim it!
-I hate that.
-Sorry. Let's go back to the van right now.
-No. I'm not going to the van, it's so gross. Come on. I'm doing my performance right now.
-Was that supposed to be me?
-No.
-No, not, not everything. This. I am the man in your life.
-Man?
-Yeah, man, male, significant other, whatever the fuck I am.
-It's a piece.
-Your sure as hell right about that.
-"The worst I can do is starve to death." Listen to you.
-I don't want to hear it anymore.
-No, no, no. Y-you know what? Y-your packing your bags, you're jumping into the unknown because some conceptual artist who teaches at a community college is having a mid-life crisis and he wants to sleep with some girl half his age, so he tells you you have talent.
-Mister Brooks has had shows in New York, Jeff. He's been reviewed in Art Forum. I think he knows.
-Oh, well, then you better listen to him.
-What are you trying to communicate? Tell us.
-So you can give me more shit?
-No, no. It's an honest question. What are you trying to communicate?
-Yes, you asshole.
-About what?
-About things that are important to me.
-Like what?
-Of course I do!
-Name one.
-God, KAREN JOHNSON.
-One!
-Your completely missing the point.
-Hey!
-No, idealism is guilty, middle class bullshit.
-No, sweetie. Cynicism is bullshit.
-No, no, no. I'm not being cynical, I'm being honest.
-But do you stand for anything?
-Yes, I stand for -
-What? What do you stand for?
-I stand for honesty! I stand for some level of truth!
-Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, right. Fuck you.
-Can I talk here? Let me talk.
-You know, all you know is what's good for you.
-Can I talk?
-I can't wait till Pony gets here, you know? Have a conversation with a human being?
-Well, if you love him so much, why didn't you go see him play?
-Um, because you didn't want to go.
-Like I'm going to pay twenty bucks to see Neil Moynihan in some band that I helped start.
-This is ridiculous!
-It was a racial incident.
-It was just something that got out of hand. Did anyone get hurt?
-It got that close.
-Okay, but nothing happened. Believe me, if I thought something really bad was going to happen, I would've done something.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
-Okay, what would you have done.
-I would've stopped it.
-How?
-I don't know. I would've done something. This is kind of hypothetical, isn't it? This place is so stupid. I can't believe we're sitting here in this mosh-pit of consumerism. With all these people eating their chunks of dead flesh...
-Jeff. Jeff.
-... like fucking robots. Look at those kids there.
-Jeff. You know, I was talking to Mister Brooks yesterday. He has this friend in New York who wants to sublet his apartment for six-fifty a month. I could swing that. Six-fifty.
-What?
-Did it ever occur to you that I might have some feelings about you moving to New York?
-What feelings?
-Us.
-Of course.
-And?
-Come with me.
-No, no, see, that's not what I'm saying. I could go to New York if I wanted to, but what's the point? So I can learn how to order a cappuccino? So I can get mugged by some crackhead? So I can see, see homeless people up close and personal?
-So what do you wanna do?
-Nothing.
-No one does nothing, Jeff.
-Okay, well, then, I'm gonna break new ground.
-New ground?
-Mm-hm.
-Taking one community college course on the history of Nicaragua, while barely holding a job packing boxes?
-Okay, look. My job is not who I am. I don't need that. Why? What's your goal? Status? Money? Getting your picture on the cover of some glossy magazine?
-My goal is to make art.
-So, what, why can't you do that here? What's wrong with here? Why is somewhere else better?
-Why should I stay here, Jeff? So we can sit on the corner and watch the lights change, while you bitch about Burnfield?
-Mm-mm.
-So I can spend the rest of my life guessing what it would be like to be a real artist?
-No, no.
-So you and I can fuck while your parents are out having dinner at the Sizzler? What are we doing, Jeff? You and me?
-Yeah, uh, that would depend, but yeah. She should.
-Yeah, but that doesn't mean that your tree is not artistic if no one cuts it down.
-Jeff likes to argue for the sake of arguing.
-No, I don't.
-Yes, you do.
-No, I don't.
-You do.
-FUCK! Pony, if we wanted to hear you sing, we would've gone to your concert!
-Jeff!
-Come on.
-No. No, no, no.
-Come on. I'm not gonna go if you don't come.
-No, I just don't feel like it. That's all.
-Oh, hi. I thought you guys got lost.
-Gee, Jeff, I thought you were gonna go take a piss, not join some alcoholic nudist colony.
-No, no. I just got sick and tired of listening to that demo tape over and over again, you know? I mean, I felt like a fucking groupie, you know.
-Mm. I enjoyed the ride. Sorry you didn't.
-But wait! Sooze, I don't wanna fight. I'm so sorry.
-What?
-No, I mean it. No, look, when, when I got out of the car I walked all the way here.
-Mm-hm.
-And I fig- and I figured something out.
-Oh, yeah?
-I, yeah.
-Wait, Sooze, I, I have to talk to you, 'cause I, there's something I figured out.
-God, you smell like whiskey.
-No, no, I have to talk to you.
-Wait, wait, wait a minute, Sooze. What are you doing?
-I'm leaving. Is that alright with you? Do I have your permission? Maybe you want to think about it.
-Where are you going?
-For a ride.
-Wait, away?
-Yes, Jeff, away. Away, away, away.
-To his hotel?
-I've run out of words.
-Wait. What, what are you saying?
-I don't know. And I don't care that I don't know.
-Well, what about us?
-What about us? I'm moving away your staying here.
-No, maybe not though. That, that's what I'm trying to say.
-Maybe not? You think that I'm with somebody else and now it's maybe not?
-Oh, no, no, no.
-You're unbelievable.
-Wait, no, I... Look, Sooze, I figured something out.
-You did, huh? Good for you.
-Do your covers and all that shit.
-'Bye, Jeff.
-Go.
-What?
-You really suck, you know that?
-Hey, Pony.
-Hey, man. Jeff. How're you doin?
-Good, man.
-Wow, man. The corner. I mean, nothing's changed.
-Well, shit, man, you've only been gone for a year, man, Is that your limo?
-Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the record company, they make me use it, you know. I mean, it's dumb, I know, it's just...
-No, it's not...
-Hey, the driver knows Billy Idol. Wow, huh?
-Yeah, hey I saw your album at Musicland up at the mall.
-Oh yeah, yeah, we're starting to get good placement and shit like that, you know.
-Yeah.
-We sold, uh, over ninety thousand units and uh... and Danny says that we're gonna get a gold record. Yeah.
-Wow. A gold record, man, that's great. So you're, you're like living the wild life now, huh?
-Nah, nah, nah, nah.
-Aw, come on. Rock star. Fame. Fortune. Sex.
-Yeah, shit. Naw, man, you know. It's hard work, you know?
-Yeah.
-The road's hell, you know? I mean airport, hotel, show. And airport, hotel, show. Airport, hotel, show. I mean, fuck, man, you know? You still living at your mom's?
-Yeah, I crash there.
-The prom. That's funny.
-Hey, I though you guys were coming to the show, man?
-Oh, uh, yeah, we were, but, uh, Sooze, screwed up the tickets.
-Sorry.
-So how's college?
-You know, I've thought about that, actually.
-So you think I should?
-What?
-Write. 'Cause I, I have written some things.
-Like songs?
-Yeah, they could be songs.
-Yeah. You should show 'em to me.
-Really?
-Yeah, really.
-Now?
-Great.
-Well, I helped start it, but, you know, uh...
-Well, not exactly.
-For a while.
-So, um, Pony, where are you staying? Are you staying at your mother's house?
-So who are you?
-What do you mean?
-Well, if we're, like, the man invisible, what are you?
-I don't know. Uh, I'm an artist, I guess. You know, there's life and then there's the people watching the life, commenting on it.
-Yeah, well, that's what I do too.
-What?
-Comment, say things, think. Whatever. Why are you so special?
-Well, I, I didn't say I was special, but it's one thing, you know, and it's another thing to actually communicate it to people. You know what I mean? If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does that make a sound?
-W-wait a minute, wait a minute.
-No, man. Hey. No, you know what? Hey, it's you, man. It's, you know what, you know what it is? It's this tarpit of stupidity that we're all stuck in. It's this cell. It's this void, you know.
-Oh, no, man, look. Look, you know, it's me, okay? I come out here and I'm, so used to everyone, you know, kissing my ass and I think I'm a fucking star, man, and I'm really sorry if I'm full of attitude. I, I really...
-No, you know what? It's not you, man. It's not anybody. It's me. Whoo! Hey.
-George can drive us. There's plenty of room in the car. Jeff?
-No. You know what? You guys go ahead and bring back something here. Yeah.
-I gotta take a piss. Do you mind if we pull over really quickly?
-Oh, yeah.
-I'm sorry. I, I gotta...
-Fuck 'em. Fucking assholes.
-Hey, where's Erica?
-I don't know.
-Why should I call the police, huh? They don't so any good.
-Well, you gotta call your wife then, you know, 'cause she kind of handles these heavy matters anyway, right?
-No. No, you see, I don't have to call my wife.
-What about this, huh? Go ahead, big man.
-Camel jockey.
-You know, why do you call me names? You know, I never hurt you. I'm only working here.
-Pakistani. Okay? We're from Pakistan.
-Alright, alright, enough with the Boy Scout routine.
-Look, get down off my property.
-Why? What are you gonna do? Huh? You're gonna shoot me for standing on your fucking trash can?
-Get off my property!
-Hey, you know what? Go fuck yourself.
-Fuck you! You know, I'll call the police.
-Look Pakeesa...
-Oh, there you are, honey. We were waiting for you. What happened?
-Look, get down now, you fucking drunk! You bum!
-Get off my roof!
-Oh, shit. Jeff. Jeff, come up here!
-Ready?
-I hope you're happy!
-This has nothing to do with me, this, uh, drinking, yeah.
-No, this has everything to do with you.
-No, no, she went up by herself. This was not my responsibility.
-Pony, oh my god!
-Hey!
-You showed up. Oh, my god! Holy shit! Look at this car, man!
-Oh, it's stupid, isn't it.
-Is that your driver?
-It's stupid.
-No, no, it isn't. It's cool.
-Look at you!
-Oh!
-Wow. Hey, you look good. Like you, you know, head's in a good place, you know? You, are still doing your painting?
-Sometimes, yeah. You know, I started to do performances.
-Oh, yeah?
-So? What's L.A. like?
-It's pretty exciting.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Like?
-Oh, uh... uh, the other night our manager Danny took us to this restaurant and there was Sandra Bernhard.
-No, she was just sitting there?!
-Oh, yeah, just sitting there eatin' a salad, you know. That kind of thing happens all the time in L.A. It's, you know... I met Johnny Depp.
-You did? I love him. Yeah, you know, I'm thinking of moving to New York.
-New York, huh?
-Yeah. To go to school and, you know, paint, performances, paint.
-You have to go. You always did such, uh, you know, great work. I still have some of those drawings that you'd do in study hall.
-You do not!
-Hey, Pony, this is my friend Bee-Bee.
-Yeah, so what do you guys do next? I mean, what's your band do now?
-Oh, uh, we're gonna go in the studio and we're, we're doin' a new album.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, and I was thinking, Sooze, you could do the cover.
-You do not want me to do your cover.
-I don't want you to do the cover, I, I need you to do the cover.
-You're not serious.
-I'm always serious.
-Oh they'd never let me do what I want.
-I get final approval. It's in my contract.
-Would I get paid?
-Yeah, we'd have to fly you out for meetings, you know.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Okay, now, you guys all take care, okay? Oh, man, I feel so good. I feel good 'cause I'm hanging out with you guys, man. You know? I mean, I forgot what it was like to just hang out.
-Yeah.
-Yeah, come on, play it.
-Alright, alright already.
-"Drove down the highway there was a big jam The family had died There inside their minivan There was a backup It went on for miles But as bad as it was It was gone after a while" Chorus here. "You may think there's nothing to it and the truth is hard to see To be an invisible man is a remarkable thing to
-You know, that is my worst fear. Making a sound and no one hears it.
-Jesus, Jeff.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-Oh, yuck! Oh, gross!
-Yeah. Burnfield, Pizza and Puke capital of the world.
-I can't believe you're still here.
-I'm moving.
-If...
-No, I'm going.
-Soon.
-Yep.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-I don't know. I say what I mean.
-Oh, yeah, you're just so smart.
-I hate it here. It's so ugly, it's like being dead. You got out of here, you know? I'm ready to go.
-Yeah, but sometimes I try to figure out why I left in the first place, you know? I think about people and I wonder what they're doing.
-Yeah.
-I think about you. I mean, a lot.
-Me?
-Yeah, I have, I have, yeah.
-Yeah, you know, when you called I thought, there's a name from the past.
-Or the future, oh, no, no, I mean... I mean, we'll be working on that album cover, right?
-Yeah, I know what you're saying.
-You do?
-Is that Jeff?
-You know, my mom has this saying.
-Yeah?
-"Don't write any checks you can't cash."
-Tim, why don't you shut the fuck up?
-What the fuck are you talking about?!
-Well, uh, there's this benefit for Rwanda we're gonna do. And, uh, you know, my songs, uh, where I get the ideas for them, uh, you know, stuff like that.
-"See what's around you listen to their lies"
-Ooh, wow, nice. Personal trainer? Very nice.
-Tim?
-Where's Erica? You seen her?
-Erica? She said she was tired. She went back to the hotel.
-Oh, How'd she get back?
-Well, I called Erica's beeper. There's just no answer.
-What are you? Her pimp? She said she might go get a drink first.
-Well, I mean, she always answers her beeper.
-Pal, she's a big girl, you know? I'm sure she's alright.
-Yeah? Well, what'd she say?
-About what?
-About where she went. I mean, what bar?
-She didn't say. Maybe she's at the bar at the hotel.
-The bar at the hotel? She told you that? What did she say exactly?
-Okay. You know what? Watch your fucking language, alright? Or I might have to.
-Whatever.
-Oh, come on, Pony. I'm just kidding. Wow, you rock stars are really sensitive, huh? You know, there's a life on the road?
-You know, man, it's none of your business what I do, okay?
-It's none of my business?
-Yeah.
-No, see, Neil, if you're fucking with one of my friends, then you're fucking with me.
-Don't do that.
-What are you going to do? Hm?
-If you hit me...
-Yeah?
-... my manager will slap an assault charge on your ass faster than you can say AA, okay?
-Your manager?
-Yeah, man, my manager and my lawyer.
-Well, just, you know, have 'em call me. Y-you know where to find me, right?
-Hey, great game Friday. Kicked Holbrook's ass, huh?
-Missed it. Can I get a fifth of Old Crow?
-Just one?
-I don't, I don't remember. What do I owe you?
-Yeah. Yeah. How's the air force, Tim?
-It's not the air force anymore, Scuff
-So where are you?
-Yes, that's right. You know what, honey? You should go to New York. You should go. Go show 'em. They need your unique point of view.
-Seriously? It's a great idea.
-Ha! Thank you! See? He did it. He left.
-Why don't you go back to where you came from?
-Hey, Tim.
-Make a move. Greasecake. Towel-head.
-Hey, Tim, you know what? You win.
-Fucking drunk, huh?
-Hey, your gonna regret this.
-Leave him alone, Tim.
-Uh, excuse me, I'd like to know where he gets his ideas.
-Tim's jealous, you know? He wants to have ideas too.
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm jealous of MTV faggots who are named after animals.
-Ew! Oh, Buff! Relax!
-Buff is funny, okay? She likes Buff, so why don't you whip shut the feminist hole.
-It was the nicest thin I've done in a long time.
-Forget about New York, Jeff. I don't want to talk about New York anymore.
-Could you give me a ride?
-Oh yes! Yeah, man, give her the ride, the ol' Pony ride back to the hotel.
-I'm going out later.
-No car.
-The fuck not?
-You know the fuck not.
-Fuck.
-Wait! Did you say you are pregnant or you were pregnant... You had it, threw it out and you're gonna go back and dance all night!
-What?!
-I can't believe your grandparents never come down here.
-Who are you - the goddamn Bionic Woman?!
-I just pulled and it - it came off.
-This is great - GREAT! Now we have to enter the front door!
-Hey! Rule number one - never take off the mask! Y'hear me! No matter what happens, NEVER TAKE OFF THE MASK!
-Sorry, Kansas...
-NO-GAH-BUH- NO! Rule number two - NO NAMES! NO GODDAMN NAMES, you retard!
-Oh for Chrissakes... "White trash Betty." I didn't realize the rules went into effect before we entered Safeway.
-Holy shit.
-I'm in, too.
-Cleo!
-And you know real cops aren't half as smart as Keanu.
-Forget it. I've got a scholarship to Harvard hanging over my head. I won't risk it.
-Ahh! Baby's got two heads!!!
-Can you guys believe this? We're like celebrities!
-Another sex dream?
-Di, are you okay? We can skip the girl party this week.
-...He slices off the guy's ear, and I mean you see everything - the bloody pink hole where the --
-Cleo, I've already thrown up twice today - could you please get to any relevant part of the movie?
-Di, we're sorry. We...
-Is Jack upset that he can't be here?
-Use the bathroom, because the Port-a Potties on the field are gross.
-My fault - What do we do that enables us to be as great as we are?
-Hello?
-Di? I just called to say that Conan talked about us again last night.
-Thanks, Cleo. See you tomorrow.
-Diane? Diane!
-Oh my G-d, you've been robbed!
-Look, you're fat, Diane. You're fat, fat, fat! Because you eat, eat, eat! What?! She keeps asking because she wants some honesty.
-No I don't... I keep asking because I feel fat.
-Oh G-d, I'm sorry... You're not really fat! I was just saying that because, uh, I thought that's what you wanted me to say.
-You sure?
-Positive.
-Oh my G-d, I read about this! It's called a "pregnancy insanity." Quick, she needs a sitz bath --
-C'mon, Luce, people do it in the movies all the time.
-And they get caught!
-No.
-If you don't - can you still afford to go to Harvard?
-... I don't know. Probably not.
-So then this isn't crazy. It's a sure bet.
-But, we have to make a smart plan!
-Okay, even with all our savings, it's still only six hundred fifty-four.
--- We practice! Sorry, Cleo.
-Di, it's Luce. Kansas just called and said she's going to "fuck me up!" Then I heard coughing, a thud and Kansas had to go. I think her Grandma had another heart attack. Anyway, why does she want to "fuck me up?"
-She thinks you went to the police.
-WHAT?! That's insane!!! Why would I go to the police?
-Hi, Jack.
-... so when your dad said, "I never want to see your "f-'in' faces again!" do you think he meant forever or just until your mom wakes up?
-I don't know... And what the hell was that sound she made right before she hit the coffee table.
-Well, if I had to guess... I'd say that was the sound of a mother saying good-bye to her little boy and hello to a young man who's going to be a daddy of his own... Jack, do you know what I see here?
-Spit from your dad?
-I see a flower. And y'know, even the most beautiful flowers still grow from dirt.
-Yeah.
-So, while we're knee deep in right now - and things seem pretty "stinky" - in the long run, we're going to grow strong from this.
-Y'think?
-I sure do.
-Diane, I've loved you ever since I first saw you -- right before you kicked me in the head.
-Jack, sweetie, I'm only eating for two.
-Like Cocoa Puffs. Good. Captain Crunch. Bad. Shreds the roof of your mouth. I mean you hear, "Tricks are for kids!" And you think, "I'm a kid, I guess they're for me." But your baby brain's got no idea that Fruit Loops are, like, a million times better. I'm going to save our kid all that pain.
-Jack...
-If you could be Count Chocula, Frankenberry or Trix the Rabbit, who'd you be?
-Trix...
-Jack, I think I should get a job.
-But we agreed your job is running the baby machine...
-I know, but that was before.
-I never knew you dreamed of working in a grocery store bank branch. Baby, we are living the great American Dream!
-If you reach for the stars, you're bound to get -- mm-Jack, pull over.
-Uh, Jack - look, I can explain...
-...so although their dad said, "Don't get out of the car until I get back with help," they knew the sheriff's voice as he yelled. "Run to my voice - and don't look back." The twins did as he said, but at the last second they turned around and saw the escaped mental patient, bouncing their father's head on the top of the car!
-That was gas, Sweetie.
-Oh... What are you working on?
-I'm sorry.
-What?! But all our paperwork's there. My school records, Jack's football records...
-Let me explain something...
-No. Wait! Did I say Promise! Cross-my heart and hope-to-die, stick-a-needle-in my-eye we'll never miss a payment?!
-...do not accept charity. We are two young, able-bodied Americans. We do not want a handout. We want a hand-up. Give us food and we will be hungry tomorrow. Give us corn - the kind you plant, not eat - and we'll grow our own food and... and, uh, then cut it, and - uh, y'know eat it! Now, if you're interested in giving
-Anyway, last time I checked, you still had to have sex to have an orgasm. And I know she ain't seen the lord on all fours - so I'm just saying.
-Nope. Sounds more like the first.
-Madonna.
-Hat-trick?
-"No" you're not sure or "No" I'm not fat?
-Uh, "no"... You're not fat.
-Listen, Kansas, I know you dream of springing your mom some day...
-Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
-Shut up.
-Kansas!
-It's all my fault. I'm sorry I ever started this...
-Oh, thank G-d! I'm not just super fat!
-NO! Wait...um... We're the A-squad from Lincoln High? So, uh...
-Hey. Eyes on your own belly!
-Oh no...
-It was Lucy! Lucy went to the cops!
-Remember, Kansas, every time you point a finger you've got three more pointing back at you.
-She's been the weak tit on this mama cat since the beginning.
-That you?
-Yeah, hold on.
-Just call me later. I gotta get some smokes for Grandma.
-Don't use big bills!
-Yeah?
-Oh thank Buddha it's you, Kim-Lo, I'm being held against my will, my civil rights have been violated and it took four days to make this one phone call...
-Hello?
-Kim-Lo?
-No. This is Diane. I think you have the wrong number.
-Ooops, that's me -- gotta run!
-Yeah?
-Well, we'll each probably want one - so let's make it five. Five should do it.
-Okay. How much ammo you reckon you'll need?
-Ammo?
-Bullets.
-Bullets? No bullets! Oh my gosh, these are just to scare people. Kinda like round-off, back handspring, whip back, double full. You never really use it - you just want the opposing squad to know you've got it.
-Hey, hey, hey. C'mon you guys. Obviously that's a little more than our budget will allow. Basically, we're looking for something around two-hundred dollars.
-My daughter's always dreamed of bein' a cheerleader. Put her on your squad and I'll give you the guns.
-You're kidding.
-... Ja-ck B-ar-t-le-tt... Is Jack Bartlett interested in me?
-I-I didn't mean to say "whore," Diane. I just hear it so much at church - it kinda came flying out of my head.
-You want us to help you pick up?
-And Hannah, you could give your share to your church - or maybe buy one of those hungry little kids Sally Struthers advertises.
-Or, I could get my own horse...
-Look, maybe I can watch a PG movie... I'll just say I'm counting dirty words for Sunday School.
-Hello?
-We're dead! They showed this prison movie to my youth group on Sunday.
-Hannah, we've...
-It wasn't like the prison we saw - all these women had to shave their heads because they got lice from the filthy lives they'd lived! Oh G-d, I'm gonna be someone's bald bitch!
-...my Sunday School teacher says that in prison, women shove broom sticks up your...
-Screw Lucy!
-Is that you down there?
-Shit! Yeah, Grandma. Me and the squad.
-Are you girls talking about boys? Practicing kissing your hands?
-Oh well, then I'll put some cookies at the top of the stairs for you gals.
-You got that big retarded girl down there?
-Uh...Yeah, Grandma. She doesn't mean that. Kinda lost the old filter with her last stroke.
-Then I'll throw a few more treats on the plate. Where's my smokes?
-I'll get them before "Touched by an Angel," don't worry.
-Really...
-Yeah. "Itchy" sent us.
-She did, did she? How is the old girl?
-Definitely old.
-Oh please, we've all got bright futures ahead of us - we're not going to tell anyone. Promise!
-Hannah, in order to get real answers from the netherworld, you've gotta have a Christian virgin run the board. Your kind is pure of heart - the devil won't dick with you.
-Yeah. This summer at church camp? I'm pretty sure I had, y'know, an orgasm.
-Oh my G-d! I'm not first!
-...so, while it's a laugh riot for the whole family, and Tim Conway is just about as funny as they come, especially when he goes...
-Wait a minute. You watched the Apple fucking-Dumpling Gang?!
-I'm only allowed "G" movies.
-You sure you wanna go there?
-Uh...maybe?
-Don't make me Jerry Lewis you guys for the rest.
-All of you!
-Bank branch!
-Grandma and Grandpa sent you pictures of a neighbor girl. They didn't want you to break out and come kidnap me.
-You shouldn't smoke so many of those.
-I know, but it keeps down the size of my can.
-They could kill you.
-So could half the women in here. And I'd rather go out with a nice can... So watcha here for? To say how much you hate me or how much your grandparents hate me...
-I don't hate you. I need your help.
-My what?
-Your help.
-Now how the hell can I help you?
-Okay, you can't tell anybody.
-Gee, I'll sit out this afternoon's coffee talk. Whaddya want?
-My best friend got pregnant.
-I know - that's what I said too. Anyway, we want to help her get some money for the baby by robbing a bank.
-Well, shit-fire, Kansas, that's the sweetest goddamn thing ever...
-I know, but we can't quite figure out how to, y'know, do it.
-Kansas, I want you to meet someone special.
-Oh, Jesus Christ, Mom! Like my life ain't a great big pile-of-shit 'cause you're in here? Now I have to add, "P.S. My mom's a dyke" too?
-What?! Hush up, you mouthy little shit!
-Hey, don't "mouthy shit" me - I'm outta here.
-Diane, it says here you're going to have mood swings, uncontrollable gas.
-More proof God's a guy...
-...and sex dreams where you actually have an orgasm!
-I mean it. I'm in. This is the closest thing to a goddamn family that I've ever had. If one of us needs something, we all do.
-What the hell do you want?
-I hate to think where that puts me. I could be her father.
-It must be about that appalling script of hers. What can I say to her? What can I say?
-I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room. I can give her the brush ...
-Listen, thirty million fans have given her the brush. Isn't that enough?
-I didn't mean to --
-Of course you didn't. You didn't know Norma Desmond as a plucky little girl of seventeen, with more courage and wit and heart than ever came together in one youngster.
-I hear she was a terror to work with.
-We're ready with the shot, Mr. deMille.
-You'll pardon me, Norma? Why don't you just sit and watch? O.K. Here we go.
-Roll 'em.
-Well, what do you know ! Joe Gillis !
-Hi, Artie.
-Where have you been keeping that gorgeous face of yours?
-In a deep freeze.
-Give me your coat.
-Let it ride for a while.
-You're going to stay, aren't you?
-That was the general idea.
-Judas E. Priest, who did you borrow that from? Adolphe Menjou?
-Say, you're not really smuggling opium these days, are you?
-Good party.
-The greatest. They call me the Elsa Maxwell of the assistant directors. Hey, easy on the punch bowl. Budget only calls for three drinks per extra. Fake the rest.
-Sure, this'll go on all night.
-I mean, could you put me up for a couple of weeks?
-It just so happens we have a vacancy on the couch.
-I'll take it.
-Wait a minute. This is the woman I love. What's going on? Who was loaded?
-Walking out on the mob. What's the big idea?
-I'm sorry about New Year's. Would you believe me if I said I had to be with a sick friend?
-The accent! I've got it: this guy is in the pay of a foreign government. Get those studs. Get those cuff-links.
-Hello, Mr. Sheldrake. On that Bases Loaded. I covered it with a 2-page synopsis. But I wouldn't bother.
-What's wrong with it?
-It's from hunger.
-Nothing for Ladd?
-Just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with.
-This is Miss Kramer.
-Name dropper.
-Carefull Those are dirty words! You sound like a bunch of New York critics. Thank you, Miss Schaefer.
-If I could be of any help...
-I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, but I just don't think it's any good. I found it flat and banal.
-Perhaps the reason I hated Bases Loaded is that I knew your name. I'd always heard you had some talent.
-That was last year. This year I'm trying to earn a living.
-Let me help you. Betty Schaeter, Sheldrake's office.
-Hurt feelings department.
-You forgot this.
-Thanks.
-I've been hoping to run into you.
-What for? To recover that knife you stuck in my back?
-I felt a little guilty, so I got out some of your old stories.
-Why, you sweet kid.
-There's one called....Window... something with a window.
-Dark Windows. How did you like it?
-I didn't.
-Thank you.
-Is there someplace we can talk?
-Now if I got you correctly, there was a short stretch of my fiction you found worthy of notice.
-The flashback in the courtroom, when she tells about being a school teacher.
-I had a teacher like that once.
-Maybe that's why it's good. It's true, it's moving. Now why don't you use that character...
-Who wants true? Who wants moving?
-Drop that attitude. Here's some- thing really worth while.
-Want me to start right now? Maybe there's some paper around.
-I'm serious. I've got a few ideas.
-I've got some ideas myself. One of them being this is New Year's Eve. How about living it up a little?
-As for instance?
-Well....
-We could make some paper boats and have a regatta. Or should we just turn on the shower?
-How about capturing the kitchen and barricading the door?
-Are you hungry?
-Hungry? After twelve years in the Burmese jungle. I am starving, Lady Agatha -- starving for a white shoulder --
-No, Phillip, no. We must be strong. You're still wearing the uniform of the Coldstream Guards! Furthermore, you can have the phone now.
-O.K. I find I'm terribly afraid of losing you.
-You won't. I'll get us a refill of this awful stuff.
-You'll be waiting for me?
-With a wildly beating heart.
-Hello, Artie. Good evening, Miss Schaefer.
-Stop it, Artie, will you? Where have you been keeping your- self? I've got the most wonderful news for you.
-I haven't been keeping myself at all. Not lately.
-I called your agent. I called the Screen Writers Guild. Finally your old apartment gave me some Crestview number. There was always somebody with an accent growling at me. You were not there. You were not to be spoken to. They never heard of you.
-Is that so? What's the wonderful news?
-Sheldrake likes that angle about the teacher.
-What teacher?
-Dark Windows. I got him all hopped up about it.
-You did?
-He thinks it could be made into something.
-Into what? A lampshade?
-O.K. Where's the cash?
-Where's the story? I bluffed it out with a few notions of my own. It's really just a springboard. It needs work.
-I was afraid of that.
-Sorry, Miss Schaefer, but I've given up writing on spec.
-I tell you this is half sold.
-It's not your career -- it's mine. I kind of hoped to get in on this deal. I don't want to be a reader all my life. I want to write.
-Sorry if I crossed you up.
-You sure have.
-Just so you don't think I'm a complete swine -- if there's anything in Dark Windows you can use, take it. It's all yours.
-I mean it. It's no good to me anyway. Help yourself.
-Why should you do that?
-If you get a hundred thousand for it, you buy me a box of chocolate creams. If you get an Oscar, I get the left foot.
-You know, I'd take you up on that in a minute. I'm just not good enough to do it all by myself.
-What about all those ideas you had?
-See if they make sense. To begin with, I think you should throw out all that psychological stuff -- exploring a killer's sick mind.
-Psychopaths sell like hotcakes.
-This story is about teachers -- their threadbare lives, their struggles. Here are people doing the most important job in the world, and they have to wprry about getting enough money to re-sole their shoes. To me it can be as exciting as any chase, any gunplay.
-Check.
-Look, if you don't mind, I haven't got time to listen to the whole plot ...
-I'll make it short.
-Sorry. It's your baby now.
-I'm not good enough to write it alone. We'll have to do it together.
-I'm all tied up. I can't.
-Couldn't we work in the evenings? Six o'clock in the morning? This next month I'm completely at your disposal. Artie is out of town.
-What has Artie to do with it.
-We're engaged.
-Good for you. You've got yourself the best guy in town.
-I think so. They're on location in Arizona, shooting a Western. I'm free every evening, every week- end. If you want, we could work at your place.
-It's just impossible.
-Look, Betty, It can't be done. It's out.
-You're tough, all right.
-You're on your own. Stop being chicken-hearted and write that story.
-Honest to goodness, I hate you.
-And don't make it too dreary. How about this for a situation: she teaches daytimes. He teaches at night. Right? They don't even know each other, but they share the same room. It's cheaper that way. As a matter of fact, they sleep in the same bed -- in shifts, of oourse.
-Are you kidding? Because I think it's good.
-So do I.
-Oh, you --
-Good.
-What's good about it? I miss him something fierce.
-I mean this is good dialogue along in here. It'll play.
-It will?
-Sure. Especially with lots of music underneath, drowning it out.
-Don't you sometimes hate yourself?
-Who's Norma?
-Who's who?
-I'm sorry. I don't usually read private cigarette cases.
-Oh, that. It's from a friend of mine. A middle-aged lady, very foolish and very generous.
-I'll say. This is solid gold.
-I gave her some advice on an idiotic script.
-It's that old familiar story, you help a timid little soul across a crowded street. She turns out to be a multimillionaire and leaves you all her money.
-Look at this street. All card- board, all hollow, all phoney. All done with mirrors. I like it better than any street in the world. Maybe because I used to play here when I was a kid.
-What were you -- a child actress?
-I was born just two blocks from this studio. Right on Lemon Grove Avenue. Father was head elec- trician here till he died. Mother still works in Wardrobe.
-Second generation, huh?
-Third. Grandma did stunt work for Pearl White. I come from a picture family. Naturally they took it for granted I was to become a great star. So I had ten years of dramatic lessons, diction, dancing. Then the studio made a test. Well, they didn't like my nose -- it slanted this way a little. I went to a doctor and had it
-Nice job.
-Should be. It cost three hundred dollars.
-Saddest thing I ever heard.
-Not at all. It taught me a little sense. I got me a job in the mail room, worked up to the Stenographic. Now I'm a reader...
-Come clean, Betty. At night you weep for those lost closeups, those gala openings...
-Not once. What's wrong with being on the other side of the cameras? It's really more fun.
-Three cheers for Betty Schaefer! I will now kiss that nose of yours.
-May I say you smell real special.
-It must be my new shampoo.
-That's no shampoo. It'smore like a pile of freehly laundred hand- kerchiefs, like a brand new auto- mobile. How old are you anyway?
-Twenty-two.
-Hey, what's the matter... Betty, wake up! Why are you staring at me like that?
-Was I? I'm sorry.
-What's wrong with you tonight? What is it, Betty?
-Something came up. I don't want to talk about it.
-Why not?
-I just don't.
-Betty, there's no use running out on it. Let's face it, what- ever it is.
-It's nothing. I got a telegram from Artie.
-From Artie. What's wrong?
-He wants me to come on to Arizona. He says it only oosts two dollars to get married there. It would kind of save us a honeymoon.
-Stop crying. You're getting married. That's what you've always wanted.
-I don't want it now.
-Why not? Don't you love Artie?
-Of course I love him. I always will. I'm just not in love with him any more.
-What happened?
-Hello, Betty.
-I don't know why I'm so scared, Joe. Is it something awful?
-Ever been in one of these old Hollywood palazzos? That's from when they were making eighteen thou- sand a week, and no taxes. Careful of these tiles, they're slippery. Valentino used to dance here.
-This is where you live?
-You bet.
-Hers.
-Whose?
-Just look around. There's a lot of her spread about. If you don't remember the face, you must have heard the name of Norma Desmond.
-That was Norma Desmond on the phone?
-Want something to drink? There's always champagne on ice, and plenty of caviar.
-Why did she call me?
-Her own movie theatre.
-I didn't come here to see a house. What about Norma Desmond?
-I'm trying to tell you. This is an enormous place. Eight master bedrooms. A sunken tub in every bathroom. There's a bowling alley in the cellar. It's lonely here, so she got herself a companion. A very simple set-up: An older woman who is well-to-do. A younger man who is not doing too well ... Can you figure it out yourself?
-No.
-All right. I'll give you a few more clues.
-No, no! I haven't heard any of this. I never got those telephone calls. I've never been in this house ... Get your things together. Let's get out of here.
-All my things? All the eighteen suits, all the custom-made shoes and the eighteen dozen shirts, and the cuff-links and the platinum key- chains, and the cigarette cases?
-Come on, Joe.
-Come on where? Back to a one-room apartment that I can't pay for? Back to a story that may sell and very possibly will not?
-If you love me, Joe.
-Look, sweetie -- be practical. l've got a good thing here. A long-term contract with no options. I like it that way. Maybe it's not very admirable. Well, you and Artie can be admirable.
-Joe, I can't look at you any more.
-Hello, young fellow.
-Last time I saw you was someplace very gay. I remember waving to you. I was dancing on a table.
-Norma, I want to apologize for not calling you.
-You'd better. I'm very angry.
-I'm pretty busy, as you can see...
-That's no excuse. You read the script, didn't you?
-Yes, I did.
-Then you could have picked up the phone yourself instead of leaving it to one of your assistants.
-What assistant?
-Don't play innocent. Somebody named Gordon Cole.
-Gordon Cole?
-And if you hadn't been pretty darned interested in that script, he wouldn't have tried to get me on the phone ten times.
-Did you see them? Did you see how they came?
-Goodbye, young fellow. We'll see what we can do.
-What's the matter, Norma?
-Nothing. I just didn't realize what it would be like to come back to the old studio. I had no idea how I'd missed it.
-We've missed you too, dear.
-We'll be working again, won't we, Chief? We'll make our greatest picture.
-That's what I want to talk to you about.
-It's a good script, isn't it?
-It's got a lot of good things. Of course, it would be an expensive picture...
-I don't care about the money. I just want to work again. You don't know what it means to know that you want me.
-Nothing would thrill me more -- if it were possible.
-I wouldn't know.
-How much will it be? I warn you - don't give me a fancy price just because I'm rich.
-I had some trouble with my car. Flat tire. I pulled into your garage till I could get a spare. I thought this was an empty house.
-It is not. Get out.
-I'm sorry, and I'm sorry you lost your friend, and I don't think red is the right color.
-Get out.
-Or shall I call my servant?
-I know your face. You're Norma Desmond. You used to be in pictures. You used to be big.
-I am big. It's the pictures that got small.
-I knew there was something wrong with them.
-They're dead. They're finished. There was a time when this busi- ness had the eyes of the whole wide world. But that wasn't good enough. Oh, nol They wanted the ears of the world, too. So they opened their big mouths, and out came talk, talk, talk...
-That's where the popcorn business comes in. You buy yourself a bag and plug up your ears.
-Look at them in the front offices -- the master minds! They took the idols and smashed them. The Fairbankses and the Chaplins and the Gilberts and the Valentinos. And who have they got now? Some nobodies -- a lot of pale little frogs croaking pish-poshl
-Don't get sore at me. I'm not an executive. I'm just a writer.
-Ssh! You'll wake up that monkey.
-Just a minute, you!
-Yeah?
-You're a writer, you said.
-Are you or aren't you?
-I think that's what it says on my driver's license.
-And you have written pictures, haven't you?
-The wind gets in that blasted pipe organ. I ought to have it taken out.
-How long is a movie script these days? I mean, how many pages?
-Depends on what it is -- a Donald Duck or Joan or Arc.
-This is to be a very important picture. I have written it myself. Took me years.
-Looks like enough for six impor- tant pictures.
-It's the story or Salome. I think I'll have DeMille direct it.
-We've made a lot of pictures together.
-And you'll play Salome?
-Who else ?
-Only asking. I did't know you were planning a comeback.
-I hate that word. It is a return. A return to the millions of people who have never forgiven me for deserting the screen.
-Fair enough.
-Salome -- what a woman! What a part! The Princess in love with a Holy man. She dances the Dance of the Seven Veils. He rejects her, so she demands his head on a golden tray, kissing his cold, dead lips.
-They'll love it in Pomona.
-They will love it every place. Read it. Read the scene just before she has him killed!
-Right now? Never let another writer read your stuff. He may steal it.
-Well?
-This is fascinating.
-Of course it is.
-Maybe it's a little long and maybe there are some repetitions... but you're not a professional writer.
-I wrote that with my heart.
-Sure you did. That's what makes it great. What it needs is a little more dialogue.
-What for? I can say anything I want with my eyes.
-It certainly could use a pair of shears and a blue pencil.
-I will not have it butchered.
-Of course not. But it ought to be organized. Just an editing job. You can find somebody.
-Who? I'd have to have somebody I can trust. When were you born -- I mean, what sign of the zodiac?
-I don't know.
-What month?
-December twenty-first.
-Sagittarius. I like Sagittarians. You can trust them.
-Thank you.
-I want you to do this work.
-Me? I'm busy. Just finished one script. I'm due on another assignment.
-You know, I'm pretty expensive. I get five hundred a week.
-I wouldn't worry about money. I'll make it worth your while.
-Maybe I'd better take the rest of the script home and read it -
-Oh no. I couldn't let it out of my house. You'll have to finish it here.
-It's getting kind of late --
-Are you married, Mr. -- ?
-The name is Gillis. I'm single.
-Where do you live?
-Hollywood. The Alto Nido Apart- ments.
-There's something wrong with your car, you said.
-There sure is.
-You can stay here.
-I don't know why you should be so upset. Stop that playing, Max. It seemed like a good idea -- if we are to work together.
-Look, I'm supposed to fix up your script. There's nothing in the deal about my staying here.
-You'll like it here.
-Thanks for the invitation, but I have my own apartment.
-You can't work in an apartment where you owe three months' rent.
-I'll take care of that.
-It's all taken care of. It's all paid for.
-I'm used to paying my own bills.
-You proud boy, why didn't you tell me you were having difficulties.
-Okay. We'll deduct it from my salary.
-Now, now, don't let's be small about such matters. We won't keep books. Go on, unpack Mr. Gillis' things.
-Unpack nothing. I didn't say I was staying.
-What's that?
-Just a scene I cut out.
-What scene?
-The one where you go to the slave market. You can cut right to the scene where John the Baptist -
-Cut away from me?
-Honestly, it's a little old hat. They don't want that any more.
-They don't? Then why do they still write me fan letters every day. Why do they beg me for my photo- graphs? Because they want to see me, me, me! Norma Desmond.
-I want to talk to you for a minute.
-Not now, my dear. I'm playing three no trump.
-They've come for my car.
-Please. Now I've forgotten how many spades are out.
-I need some money right now.
-Now what is it? Where's the fire?
-I've lost my car.
-Oh...and I thought it was a matter of life and death.
-It is to me. That's why I came to this house. That's why I took this job -- ghost writing!
-That's a dreadful shirt you're wearing.
-What's wrong with It?
-Nothing, if you work in a fill- ing station. And I'm getting rather bored with that sport jacket, and those same baggy pants. Max, what's a good men's shop in town? The very best... Well, go there !
-I don't need any clothes, and I certainly don't want you buy- ing them for --
-How about some evening clothes?
-I don't need a tuxedo.
-Of course you do. A tuxedo and tails.
-Tails. That's ridiculous.
-Joe, you look absolutely divine. Turn around!
-
-All padding. Don't let it fool you.
-You know, to me dressing up was always just putting on my dark blue suit.
-I don't like those studs they've sent. I want you to have pearls. Nice big pearls.
-Now, I'm not going to wear ear- rings, I can tell you that.
-Shouldn't we wait for the others?
-Not on the same floor with Valentino!
-Don't bend back like that.
-It's a quarter past ten. What time are they supposed to get here?
-Who?
-The other guests?
-There are no other guests. We don't want to share this night with other people. This is for you and me.
-Hold me tighter.
-Come midnight, how about blind- folding the orchestra and smash- ing champagne glasses on Max's head?
-You think this is all very funny.
-A little.
-Is it funny that I'm in love with you?
-What's that?
-What are the notes?
-"Mad about the boy."
-Norma, I can't take it. You've bought me enough.
-Shut up. I'm rich. I'm richer than all this new Hollywood trash. I've got a million dollars.
-Keep it.
-I own three blocks downtown. I have oil in Bakersfield -- pumping, pumping, pumping. What's it for but to buy us anything we want.
-What's the matter with you?
-What right do you have to take me for granted?
-What right? Do you want me to tell you?
-Has it ever occurred that I may have a life of my own? That there may be some girl I'm crazy about?
-Who? Some car hop, or a dress extra?
-Why not? What I'm trying to say is that I'm all wrong for you. You want a Valentino -- somebody with polo ponies -- a big shot --
-Go away.
-What kind of a silly thing was that to do?
-To fall in love with you -- that was the idiotic thing.
-It sure would have made attractive headlines: Great Star Kills Her- self for Unknown Writer.
-Go away. Go to that girl of yours.
-Look, I was making that up because I thought the whole thing was a mistake. I didn't want to hurt you. You've been good to me. You're the only person in this stinking town that has been good to me.
-Why don't you just say thank you and go, go, go --
-Not until you promise to act like a sensible human being.
-You're really going to send it to De Mille?
-Did she read the script?
-I hope you realize, Norma, that scripts don't sell on astrologers' charts.
-I'm not just selling the script. I'm selling me. DeMille always said I was his greatest star.
-When did he say it, Norma?
-Have one of mine.
-They're awful. They make me cough.
-Pull up at the drugstore, will you, Max. I'll get you some.
-What on earth, darling? It took you hours.
-I ran into some people I knew.
-Where are my cigarettes?
-I can still see myself in the line: Bebe Daniels, Marie Prevost, Mabel Normand ... Mabel was always stepping on my feet ...What's the matter with you, darling? Why are you so glum?
-Nothing is the matter. I'm having a great time. Show me some more.
-How do you like that? We've made twelve pictures together. His greatest successes.
-Maybe deMille is shooting.
-Don't you want to come along, darling?
-I don't think so. It's your script. It's your show. Good luck.
-How did it go?
-He must be quite a guy.
-Don't turn around. Keep your eyes on the book.
-I just came to say good night. I don't want you to see me -- I'm not very attractive.
-Good night.
-I've lost half a pound since Tuesday.
-Good.
-I was a little worried about the line of my throat. This woman has done wonders with it.
-Good.
-You'd better get to bed yourself.
-I think I'll read a little.
-You went out last night, didn't you, Joe?
-Why do you say that?
-I just happen to know it. I had a nightmare and I screamed for you. You weren't here. Where were you?
-I went for a walk.
-No you didn't. You took the car.
-All right, I drove to the beach. Norma, you don't want me to feel I'm locked up in this house?
-Of course not, Joe. It's just that I don't want to be left alone. Not now, while I'm under this terrible strain. My nerves are being torn apart. All I ask is for you to be a little patient and a little kind.
-I haven't done anything, Norma.
-What are you doing, Joe? What are you doing? You're not leaving me?
-Yes, I am, Norma.
-No, you're not. Max! Max!
-The rest of the jewelry is in the top drawer.
-It's yours, Joe. I gave it to you.
-And I'd take it in a second, Norma -- only it's a little too dressy for sitting behind the copy desk in Dayton, Ohio.
-These are nothing. You can have anything you want if you'll only stay. What is it you want -- money?
-Norma, you'd be throwing it away. I don't qualify for the job, not any more.
-You can't do this! Max! Max! ... I can't face life without you, and I'm not afraid to die, you know.
-That's between you and yourself, Norma.
-See, you didn't believe me!.. Now I suppose you don't think I have the courage!
-Oh. sure -- if it would make a good scene.
-You don't care. do you? But hundreds of thousands of people will carel
-That's a lie! They still want me!
-No, they don't.
-What about the studio? What about De Mille?
-He was trying to spare your feelings. The studio wanted to rent your car.
-Wanted what?
-De Mille didn't have the heart to tell you. None of us has had the heart.
-That's a lie! They want me, they want me! I get letters every day!
-You tell her, Max. Come on, do her that favor. Tell her there isn't going to be any picture -- there aren't any fan letters, except the ones you write yourself.
-You heard him. I'm a star!
-Norma, grow up. You're a woman of fifty. There's nothing tragic about being fifty - not unless you try to be twenty-five.
-I'm the greatest star of them all.
-Goodbye. Norma.
-I just put my car in the garage. I had a blow-out. I thought --
-Look, maybe I'd better take my car --
-You are not dressed properly.
-Suppose you listen just for a minute -
-Madame is waiting.
-I made your bed this afternoon.
-This room has not been used for a long time.
-There is the bathroom. I put in soap and a toothbrush.
-Thanks. Say, she's quite a character, that Norma Desmond.
-She was the greatest. You wouldn't know. You are too young. In one week she got seventeen thousand fan letters. Men would bribe her mani- curist to get clippings from her fingernails. There was a Maharajah who came all the way from Hyderabad to get one of her stockings. Later, he strangled himself with it.
-I sure turned into an interesting driveway.
-I'm talking to you. My clothes and things are up in the room.
-Naturally. I brought them myself.
-Is that so!
-Why are you so upset? Is there anything missing?
-Some men are here. They asked for you.
-I'm not here.
-That's what I told them.
-Good.
-Whose room was this?
-Hey, what's this with the door? There isn't any lock.
-How come?
-The doctor suggested it.
-What doctor?
-Madame's doctor. She has moments of melancholy. There have been some suicide attempts.
-Uh-huh?
-We have to be very careful. No sleeping pills, no razor blades. We shut off the gas in her bed- room.
-Why? Her career? She got enough out of it. She's not forgotten. She still gets those fan letters.
-I wouldn't look too closely at the postmarks.
-You send them. Is that it, Max?
-I'd better press your evening clothes, sir. You have not for- gotten Madame's New Year's party.
-No, I haven't. I suppose all the waxworks are coming?
-How is she?
-Mr. Gillis, if you please.
-You see those offices there, Mr. Gillis? They used to be her dressing room, The whole row.
-That didn't leave much for Wallace Reid.
-What's the matter, Max?
-I just found out why all those tele- phone calls. It is not Miss Desmond they want. It is the car they want to rent.
-What is it, Max? Want to wash the car, or are you doing a little spying in your off hours?
-You must be very careful as you cross the patio. Madame may be watching.
-How about my going up the kitchen stairs and undressing in the dark. Will that do it?
-I'm not inquiring where Mr. Gillis goes every night...
-Why don't you? I'm writing a script and I'm dying to finish it, no matter what.
-It's just that I'm very worried about Madame.
-Sure you are. And we're not help- ing her any, feeding her lies and more lies. Getting herself ready for a pioture ... What happens when she finds out?
-She never will. That is my job. It has been for a long time. You must understand I discovered her when she was eighteen. I made her a star. I cannot let her be destroyed.
-You made her a star?
-I directed all her early pictures. There were three young directors who showed promise in those days: D.W. Grirrith, C.B. deMille, and Max von Mayerling.
-And she's turned you into a servant.
-Joseph C. Gillis?
-We've come for the car.
-Relax, fans. The car isn't here.
-Is that So?
-I lent it to a friend of mine. He took it up to Palm Springs.
-Had to get away for his health, I suppose.
-You don't believe me? Look in the garage.
-Sure we believe you, only now we want you to believe us. That car better be back here by noon tomorrow, or there's going to be fireworks.
-All right, Gillis. You've got five minutes. What's your story about?
-It's about a ball player, a rookie shortstop that's batting 347. The poor kid was once mixed up in a hold- up. But he's trying to go straight -- except there's a bunch of gamblers who won't let him.
-So they tell the kid to throw the World Series, or else, huh?
-Got a title?
-Bases Loaded. There's a 4O-page outline.
-Oh, you're one of the message kids. Just a story won't do. You'd have turned down Gone With the Wind.
-Well, seems like Zanuck's got himself a baseball picture.
-Mr. Sheldrake, I don't want you to think I thought this was going to win any Academy Award.
-Of course, we're always looking for a Betty Hutton. Do you see it as a Betty Hutton?
-Frankly, no.
-Now wait a minute. If we made it a girls' softball team, put in a few numbers. Might make a cute musical: It Happened in the Bull Pen -- the story of a Woman.
-You trying to be funny? -- because I'm all out of laughs. I'm over a barrel and I need a job.
-Sure, Gillis. If something should come along -
-Along is no good. I need it now.
-Haven't got a thing.
-Any kind of assignment. Additional Dialogue.
-There's nothing, Gillis. Not even if you were a relative.
-Look, Mr. Sheldrake, could you let me have three hundred bucks yourself, as a personal loan?
-Could I? Gillis, last year some- body talked me into buying a ranch in the valley. So I borrowed money from the bank so I could pay for the ranch. This year I had to mortgage the ranch so I could keep up my life insurance so I could borrow on the insurance so I could pay my income tax. Now if Dewey had
-So you need three hundred dollars? Of course, I could give you three hundred dollars. Only I'm not going to.
-No?
-How's that about your being my friend?
-Don't you know the finest things in the world have been written on an empty stomach? Once a talent like yours gets into that Mocambo- Romanoff rut, you're through.
-Forget Romanoff's. It's the car I'm talking about. If I lose my car it's like having my legs out off.
-Greatest thing that could happen to you. Now you'll have to sit behind that typewriter. Now you'll have to write.
-What do you think I've been doing? I need three hundred dollars.
-You do not deny having killed this man, Miss Desmond?
-Did you intend to kill him? Just answer me that.
-Was it a sudden quarrel? Had there been any trouble between you before?
-If it was a quarrel, how come you had the gun right there?
-This guy -- where did you meet him for the first time? Where did he come from? Who is he?
-Did he have a wife? Did he had a girl friend? Did you know them?
-Did the deceased ever threaten you? Were you in fear of bodily injury?
-Did you hate him? Had you ever thought of doing something like this before?
-Well, it's one way to get her down stairs.
-Bring something to drink.
-Wait a minute. I want you to get out the car. You're going to take the script over to Paramount and deliver it to Mr. De Mille in person.
-Madame is wanted on the telephone.
-You know better than to interrupt me.
-Paramount is calling.
-Who?
-Paramount studios.
-Now, now do you belive me? I told you deMille would jump at it.
-It is not Mr. deMille in person. It is someone by the name or Gordon Cole. He says it's very important.
-Certainly it's important. It's important enough for Mr. deMille to call me personally. The idea of having an assistant call me!
-I myself was surprised at Mr. de Mille's manners.
-Say that I'm busy, and hang up.
-If you will pardon me, Madame. The shadow over the left eye is not quite balanced.
-Cameras? ...What is it, Max?
-The cameras have arrived, Madame.
-What is the scene? Where am I?
-This is the staircase of the palace.
-Oh, yes, yes. They're below, waiting for the Princess ... I'm ready.
-You and your husband have been kind to me, Alura. I have something to tell you: I'm going away. Soon.
-I've discovered a new way into the Phantom Zone.
-But the phantom Zone is for criminals.
-I'm an artist, Alura. My work comes first. Other people come second.
-But the Power Source, Zaltar.
-It couldn't be helped. The city will have to make do with three.
-But what will happen?
-I said stop, I didn't say run into a brick wall.
-What is it?
-What does it mean?
-Oh, fiddlesticks. What could be dangerous about a baseball game?
-It must be the girls. One of the girls.
-But which one?
-We'll bide our time and keep watch. Young girls just can't keep a secret. If one of them's up to something--we'll find out.
-Bianca, try not to be so bloodthirsty when you're at the wheel. OK?
-Is he your entertainment for tonight?
-He will be. In about five minutes.
-I came as quickly as I could. What is the danger?
-A Storm Dragon?
-Why did she have to show up now?
-Eliminate her.
-That's easy for you to say, Bianca.
-You can do it. You're the most powerful woman on Earth.
-Yes! You own the Coffer of Shadow. Nothing can withstand its power.
-I've been saving it. For the right moment.
-What do I do? I don't know her name.
-Next time, remind me to do this out in the yard.
-I think I'd better keep it.
-Whatever you say.
-Home?
-No way. I'm not going to let that little hussy make a monkey out of me.
-Sure glad you didn't let make a monkey of you.
-I don't feel like it right now.
-She didn't take it from you, did she?
-That little girl? Ha. Now go on, get me some tools.
-At last. Ultimate Power.
-And the first thing we do is get rid of Supergirl!
-I don't want much, Selena. I have simple tastes.
-What do you want?
-Western Europe.
-I'm sorry, but I already promised Bianca she could have Switzerland. You know how she loves to ski.
-Is this Nigel's doing?
-It's a warning, that's for sure.
-Maybe it was just an accident.
-Wait...don't leave me in here...
-What's happening?
-I'm taking you to the hospital.
-Let me out. I have to talk to you.
-Don't leave me.
-I have to.
-When can I see, you again ?
-You're alive! She didn't kill you!
-Who didn't?
-That woman who's after me. She hates you. Because she knows I love you.
-You love me?
-My angel. My goddess. I feel I've always loved you all my life. I'll die if I can't spend the rest of my life just looking at you, holding you in my arms...
-We have to have a long talk about all this.
-This is my favourite place in the city.
-Are you sure it's all right for us to be here?
-Like it?
-Yes. It reminds me of home.
-Where Superman's from? Krypton?
-No. Argo City. It was on a chunk of rock that was part of Krypton once---but we moved it to inner space.
-I'm sorry, I don't understand.
-It's not important. The important thing is I'm here to find something and I think you can he1p me.
-I used to work here summers when I was a kid.
-Ethan, tell me more about this woman who's after you.
-Let's talk about us, not her.
-Tell me where I can find her.
-But be reasonable. If I don't do something to stop her she'll try again. And maybe hurt you.
-I'll be safe with you. We can stay together the rest of our lives.
-We can't do that.
-Why not ?
-We're from different worlds.
-All this talk about love, it's silly.
-Of Course I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone.
-There's one sure way to find out how you feel.
-What's that?
-Let me kiss you.
-No.
-You're not afraid are you?
-Of course not, but...there are things we don't understand.
-If we wait until we understand everything we'll be dead. Come on. You can learn more from one kiss than from years in school.
-Is this how?
-I thought I'd show you one of my favourite places.
-It's paradise . We could be very happy here.
-But I have to go back. I brought you here so you'd be safe. From her.
-Great! I'II build a house-- right over there, with a veranda looking out to sea. And I'll plant a garden! Papayas, pineapples, bananas, mangoes--- anything'll grow here. And I'II fish in the lagoon, and we can go sailing in a dugout canoe, and---
-She said it wouldn't last.
-I don't love you any more.
-Just like that?
-Away. From you.
-But why?
-Because you remind me of all the dumb things I said.
-I sort of like what you said.
-That makes it worse.
-Hi.
-Hello. Are you still mad at me?
-I'm not mad at you.
-It seemed that way to me.
-I know I was acting funny---I'm sorry. It's just...I miss it.
-Miss what?
-And now?
-You think so?
-I don't see why not.
-But what if---it wasn't real?
-Hey, listen, when all this blows over, maybe we could get together every now and then and see each other. And maybe something might. happen again. What do you think?
-Are you asking me for a "date"?
-Why not? You're a good-looking girl. And I'm--- available.
-Aren't you forgetting about Selena?
-There's something very dangerous about her. Something evil...
-That's the Power Source that was lost from Argo City! That's what I came: to find! Where does she live?
-In this big old house on Orchard Avenue---but you better stay away from there.
-Wait. Don't leave me.
-Before you go...
-What?
-And you can see how you feel about me, right?
-You've had your fun, Selena, the game is over.
-It's her shadow-self! Her dark side!
-How do I fight it?
-No thanks. I have friends in the resistance. They'll vouch for me. I figure I might get a million bucks for my memoirs.
-She's right. They'll string her up.
-Hey! Ethan!
-Hmmm?
-A little.
-Can you get us out? It's all a misunderstanding. We thought they were selling hamburgers in that place.
-Hey, I thought you were gonna mention us upstairs.
-I did.
-Finished your estimate?
-Well, there's several ways to go .
-You must be very popular in the neighborhood. I always see your truck parked around.
-I have a lot of repeat business. People seem to like my service.
-I bet they do.
-What's that big black scar on the ground? Like a fire.
-What is it?
-A passionfruit smoothee.
-To us. And to the seeds we'll plant together.
-Oh no, not you again.
-What an adorable hat.
-They think I have a concussion.
-And you think you're in love.
-I know it.
-This "love" of yours will soon wear off. I gave you a temporary love potion.
-Why should I believe you?
-Yes, yes I saw the whole thing. How could you be interested in that puny little girl?
-But she is real, it wasn't just a concussion.
-Nurse! Nurse!
-You can't escape from me that easily. I'm afraid you don't know who I am.
-Nurse!
-Don't think I'm weak, just because I'm a woman. I have Power. Give in, stop fighting me, Ethan. I always get what I want.
-This is your problem, right here. This girl's driving you insane, Ethan. Let me help you.
-I don't want your help.
-No!
-I'm wise to your tricks, lady.
-I could force you.
-If that worked, you would've done it already. No, you want me to drink it of my own free will. Well let me tell you, sweetheart, it'll be a cold day in hell before I fall for that one again.
-You've been without water for a whole day. Let's see how thirsty you get in a week.
-You vicious--
-They want me. Doesn't it make you proud?
-Guess! Go on.
-I don't know. You seem afraid.
-You're a regular Einstein, aren't you?
-You can't put her out of your mind, is that it?
-Well...I guess I can't.
-Why the empty cage?
-You sure are a good cook, Selena. Man, that looks too pretty to eat.
-Selena, I've been thinking. It's time I settled down---and I don't know a nicer lady to settle down with than you.
-Why George, are you proposing?
-Marry me, Selena. The hardware store doesn't bring in much now, but...
-Hey, where you going?
-I've got things to do.
-What about my proposal?
-Nice to meet you. Lucy's told me all about you. Your cousin Clark taught me everything I know about the newspaper business.
-Do you have any theories about last night?
-Theories?
-I believe there's a rational explanation for everything. But I don't know what it is.
-Where is your cousin Clark, by the way?
-He's off doing a top secret uh, investigation.
-Gosh, what do you suppose .that is?
-Can I give you a lift?
-Oh, no thanks.
-Someone's chasing him.
-Say---you think that's the same guy who was in the accident with Lucy?
-Yes.
-Oh, Jimmy, can't you forget about your career for one second?
-Jimmy, would you please put those poor flowers in water before they die?
-I had to dump the papers in a trashcan. The Danvers have been arrested!
-How do you know?
-I saw them dragged out of the Administration Building.
-Did anybody notice you?
-I can't help it if men notice me.
-I sure wish Superman was around. He wouldn't let any of this go on. Not for one minute.
-I wish they'd tell us what they're going to do with us.
-I've been in love with you for years. Remember how you used to visit your sister in the newsroom? And put your fingerprints on my lens.
-Remember? I was trying desperately to get you're attention.
-You were? You mean we could've been... you-know-what... all this time?
-You bet your ass.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-I am almost an adult. This is what I want.
-But Kara, no one has ever gone from here to Earth. The journey is dangerous.
-It was my fault we lost the Power Source.
-Years ago. And it was Zaltar who stole it.
-Superman will return it.
-Be brave, my .daughter. Be wise.
-What are you making:
-What's a tree?
-It's something they have on Earth. You know, where your cousin went.
-Where is Earth?
-Didn't you study six-dimensional geometry in school?
-Even I have trouble with that sometimes. Earth is in outer space. And we're in inner space.
-I don't understand.
-You see, a tree is a living thing.
-I'm sorry... I didn't know.
-I can do that.
-There isn't any.
-I have money to buy more, but I haven't had a chance since...
-Since what?? Did you have a fire at your house or something?
-I'd rather not talk about it.
-You're not...an orphan are you?
-My cousin Clark is my only relative on Earth.
-Oh wow, I should've known. Me and my big mouth. Listen, you can borrow any of my clothes you want. Any time.
-She did that deliberately.
-How'd you do that?
-Keep an eye peeled for Myra. She's out to get you.
-But what for?
-Your hair looks the same.
-No thanks. You go on.
-Linda babes! There's this all-night party at Eddie's... his folks are away...
-Oh, I don't know. I'm not signed out for an overnight.
-Go back, sign in, and climb out the bathroom window. McCloskey's always zonked out: she'll never hear you.
-It doesn't seem right.
-Why is he acting so strangely?
-Lucy; come back!
-I'm afraid I have some bad news about your car.
-Listen, I know I've been saying you ought party more, but keep your hands off this one, will yak? He's private property. I've been waiting years for him to develop.
-He's nice.
-You're not gonna stay for the ice cream?
-I have to get back. I'm having dinner with the Danvers.
-Don't you believe in knocking?
-What can I do for you?
-I mean, it would probably be there, if you received it.
-No plans for the weekend, Linda?
-No, MR. Danvers.
-Can't have you moping around the campus. Why don't you come home with us for dinner?
-Thank you both so much. It was a lovely lunch, Mrs. Danvers. I had a wonderful time. And you're a terrific chess player MR. Danvers.
-What? Me?
-Cheer up, Nigel. It's not the end of the world.
-It may well be. I know how you won that election Selena. You can't fool me.
-I have plans Nigel. You could come with me... I'm going places.
-I just did. Because I have the Power.
-Bianca's taught me all! need to know. I'll be safe, as long as I don't go too far.
-Nigel, get out of here. And don't come slithering back. Nigel shakes his head.
-You need me, Selena. I'm the only one who can save you from a terrible fate.
-Balefire on you, Selena!
-You think you are on top now. Well there is someone coming to challenge you. I saw it in the cards this morning.
-Nigel, get lost.
-I have to talk to you.
-You're wasting your breath.
-You used to listen to me. When you asked me to teach you something of the Craft.
-...trust the wisdom of the ancients, trust the Great Mother to protect us... Why. are you staring at me like that?
-Nothing's wrong with my skin.
-You better have a pretty good explanation for this, Selena.
-Which of you is willing to make that sacrifice?
-You would! You revealed our existence so you could have all of our power.
-Maybe you'd like to get rid of this Supergirl yourself, Nigel?
-Why get rid of her at al1? You've used the Coffer of Shadow too much. It is beginning to rule your heart.
-That was meant for me!
-Who are you ?
-I am Selena. Give him to me. Now. Or you'll both be sorry.
-That ought to keep you out of my hair for a while.
-A cheap trick.
-The Danvers. And two of your little friends.
-You've run out of things to throw, Selena.
-I'm free. I can never thank you enough.
-Ever since I found that thing I've been like a prisoner in a terrible nightmare. You have no idea how awful it is to be mean all the time.
-What's it like?
-It's the most beautiful place in the universe.
-Where is inner space?
-They'll be grateful. If you hadn't found it, it would still be lost. Look, up ahead.
-Yes, I see it. Shining like a jewel.
-What is this place?
-This is the Phantom Zone. But why did you come here from Argo City?
-I was on Earth...
-Earth? You crossed the dimension barrier? By yourself?
-Shouldnt've done that.
-...but the person who has it. tricked me, and sent me to the Phantom Zone.
-It's dangerous to use a Power Source on Earth. It can unleash all sorts of terrible forces---
-I know.
-Others?
-...mid pleasures and palaces though I may roam..."
-What? Palace? Hardly.
-It's lovely. . .
-No, no. Not lovely. 'Perfect'. Did everything just right. Nobody telling you to change this, move that around. Please yourself. That's the secret of happiness.
-Are you happy, Zaltar?
-What kind of a question is that? Of course: I am. I do whatever I want. All the time.
-You look at them? How?
-That horrible woman!
-Zaltar, please help me.
-Of course, my dear. What can I do?
-There's no way out of the Zone. No one's ever escaped. That's why they send the criminals here.
-If there's a way in, there must be a way out.
-There is a way.
-I knew it!
-But it's impossible.
-Why?
-Then teach me how.
-Takes a long time, you know, learning the wand. Just begun to understand it myse1f. Give things a kind of life--can also take away life; works backwards too. Besides I can't let you take my wand. Only have the one, what would I do? I'd be helpless. It's out of the question.
-Then come with me.
-Leave the zone? What would I do on Earth?
-You could do anything. You could sculpt mountain ranges...draw with rainbows! You'd have superpowers.
-Superpowers. Got you in a lot of trouble, didn't they?
-You're going to take me back?
-I heard my mother ask you once "how could a man with such a selfish heart create beauty?" She was wrong, Zaltar, you have a generous heart.
-You can use the wand.
-What's that? Never saw anything like that.
-Don't stop. Keep moving.
-Yes, mustn't stop.
-Zaltar. Use the wand!
-Goodbye...
-Yeah? What do you want?
-What?
-What are you talkin' about?
-Good lord, fella! I'm talking about your boss.
-Mr. Roebush?
-Roebush! That's the guy! Buddy, he's gonna nail our behinds to the wall! this is Special Order! He said he had to have it before... Omigod!! What's tomorrow?
-Tuesday.
-S'not bad, s'very good, but... y'know what's wrong with this... Singapore...thing?
-Sling. Singapore Sling. What's wrong?
-Not enough vodka in it.
-There's no vodka in it.
-Aha! What'd I tell ya!
-Got vodka in it now. Gotta give it a new name. Hey, listen, you thought it up, we'll name it after you. What's your name?
-Brad.
-Brad is not a good name for a cocktail.
-Hey! Y'know what they used to call me in high school?
-Brad?
-No, no, on the football field. They called me... ...The Smallville Flash.
-Man, you don't never pass out, do ya?
-Here I am, honey, and I'm all yours. Remember when you were Queen of the Prom? All the guys had to wait in line to get a dance. But now there's only one name on your dance card, sweet thing, and it's --
-Brad Wilson.
-Hiya, sweet thing. Little guy's getting' hassled, huh? Kent, you still here?
-All the kid needs is a couple of pointers from the ol' champ here. Kent, I bet you didn't know I won the all-country bowling trophy two years in a row.
-Uh, no, I didn't know that, Brad.
-Say, Brad. I think he'll be better off doing it his way.
-I just think Ricky would rather not get a bowling lesson in front of the other kids.
-The kid needs a man to show him --
-Lana Lang. How great to see you.
-You look wonderful.
-You shouldn't say that, you're the chairman -- ...uh, chairperson...
-And here I am, just standing here. That's terrible. Thank you.
-You're welcome...??
-I can't Clark already asked me. Didn't you? He used to love this song. Didn't you? So he just said -- "Would you dance with me?"
-You'd be surprised how many offers I didn't get. Even Brad wouldn't stick around for this. It really isn't easy.
-And three years after the Royal Wedding, the King abdicated. Isn't that terrible?
-It sure is.
-You know what's the problem?
-Too much mayonnaise?
-Mayonnaise? Donald loved mayonnaise. Why would you think that was the problem.?
-I didn't --
-No, the problem is -- Why do I stay in Smallville? Believe me, I've asked myself the same question. Do you know how lucky you are to live in Metropolis? The Big Apricot.
-But Lana, you could --
-That's easy to say. But how? And what about Ricky?
-Who?
-You...um...you never got married?
-That song. I remember one day I came into the music room and you were fooling around at the piano. And I thought -- what am I going to do with all this potato salad?
-You thought that?
-I just can't stand this.
-Hey, he'll be all right. Believe me Lana, I know. I was a late bloomer myself.
-It isn't only that he's small for his age. how would you like to be the only kid in town without a father? Look at him, he's stewed to the gills in the middle of the afternoon.
-But all he had was chocolate milk.
-Gee, I haven't done this in years.
-Some people don't think it's healthy.
-Well, it's true you have to be careful things don't spoil, especially with mayonnaise or cream.
-Clark, I think you worry too much about mayonnaise.
-Me??
-And even nicer when there's a man around, Which isn't all that often.
-There's a lot of choices here.
-No, all the good ones are married. That's why Brad thinks he's God's gift to women. This woman anyway. He's single. He won't take no for an answer, but he's the only one who's asking. And he knows it.
-Peanut butter and jelly.
-No, thanks.
-No, I mean Ricky. He's not interested in any of this stuff.
-Well, this pate is rather...unusual.
-Gee, I haven't laughed like that since -- since -- I really can't remember when.
-So...how much longer do you think you'll be in Smallville --
-I can never get a way from it.
-Old ties are hard to cut.
-That's the biggest change in Smallville, you know. They've taken over this town. Everybody who isn't actually working for Wheat King -- like I do -- is out there -- on a Wheat King thresher. Do you think I could do it? Do you?
-Ride a thresher? Well, I don't know. Girls are trying just about everything now but --
-No, what you said before, Could I make it in Metropolis? I've dreamed about it, sure, but I never really thought about it. What would I do when I got there?
-Call me.
-The dog's always doing that. And the car's always doing that.
-He really was!
-Uh-huh.
-Well, aren't you excited?
-Gee, I always loved porch swings.
-No, well in this case I think I can speak for him. I mean, I'm pretty close to him, you know. Superman will be there on Wednesday.
-I guess he misses a lot of dinners.
-But if you wouldn't mind settling for me --
-Hi, Lois. Morning, Jimmy, you've got mustard on your lapel. Excuse me, Mr. White, I don't mean to interrupt but ---
-Mr. White, please, I promised those people I'd get back to them by this morning. What do you think?
-I'm getting a cramp in my elbow from this.
--- but you deserve the vacation, Lois.
-Uh...excuse me, folks...
-Kent!
-Well... Not quite like this.
-Mr. Kent! Superman was here!
-Do you really know Superman?
-Mr. Kent, could I ask you something?
-Sure.
-Hi. Mister Kent. Guess who Mom's having dinner with tonight? Superman!
-Anyway, the reunion's just the hook for the story. What it's really about is how the typical small town's changed in the last fifteen years. how do you like this a title: Can You Go Home Again ?
-Say!
-So, Mr. White? Can I go ahead and make my travel arrangements?
-You're the best, Lois.
-I'd better be. Suddenly I've got competition to keep up with. Your high school reunion article. I though it was terrific. And fascinating. Especially about the girl back home. I'll tell you what, Clark, I'll take you to lunch and you can tell me all about it.
-Gee, I'm sorry, Lois. But I've already got a lunch date. With Mr. White's new secretary.
-It's practically an American ritual, Mr. White! Isn't that so, Jimmy?
-But my Uncle Al, on my father's side, he won't eat her stuffing, he says it should be cooked on the outside of the turkey and she puts the stuffing inside the turkey. So my mother told my Aunt Ellen . . . Aunt Ellen's my father's half-sister, I told you that, right?
-Mmmmm . . .
-The thing is though, my cousin Arnold, Aunt Rosey's Arnold this is, he got mad when Uncle Al insulted his mother's stuffing, so now the problem is --
-Wow, what a beautiful sunrise!
-Keep talking to that state trooper so he doesn't notice where I'm going, okay?
-What are you doing?
-Name?
-Ah yes, August Gorman. Have you looked for work this week, Mr. Gorman?
-Yeah.
-What kind?
-Kitchen. . . Technician
-Dishwasher? Any luck?
-Nope, but --
-Mr. Gorman, according to our records you have been unemployed for 36 weeks.
-Thirty-five.
-Not counting this week. You secured employment last June as a messenger and were discharged after one day for. . .
-They said I lost it on the subway, but it ain't the truth! It was a pickpocket took it!
-A television set?
-Well, it was one of them little bitty two-inch screen Japanese jobs.
-The only other employment you found was in a fast-food joint-- -- which lasted. . . 28 minutes! Well! That's some kind of record. Talk about fast!
-Man, them people was crazy! How they 'spect you to learn all that jive on the first day? "Hold the pickle! Hold the lettuce! Extra onions! Special sauce! No special sauce!" Ain't nobody found no meat inside that glop yet.
-Mr. Gorman, the city of Metropolis is generous to a fault, but. . .
-I know, I'm the fault.
-Thirty-six weeks of chronic unemployment, thirty-six weeks of living off the taxes of hard-working citizens. Do you know what you are?
-Don't call me a bum! I ain't no bum!
-You are, I was about to say, no longer eligible.
-What about this week's check?
-Sonofagun! Look at this here!
-First paycheck?
-First rip-off, man! Supposed to be 225 bucks a week! You know what this sucker says?? $143.80! Federal tax! State tax! Social Security tax!
-That's so you're still getting some money when you hit 65.
-Actually, it's probably more like $143.80 and one-half cent. There's always fractions over in a big corporation, but they round it down to the lowest whole number.
-What'm I gonna do with half a cent? Buy me a thoroughbred cockroach? Everybody loses them fractions?
-They don't actually lose 'em. You can't lose what you never got.
-Who gets it, the company?
-No, not really. They can't be bothered collecting half a cent from your paycheck anymore than you could.
-So where is all them half-centses?
-How many sugars?
-Quittin' time, Gus. Comin'?
-Uh . . . no, man. I got some work to finish up here.
-Workin' overtime? What are you doin', buddy, looking for a raise?
-Gus?
-Say what?
-The boss wants to see you.
-Please, Mr. Webster, you're a great humanitarian. Ain't you heard what it's like in them jails? You send an innocent boy in and he gets thrown in with killers and robbers and rapers and raper killer and robber rapers and...
-You've been a naughty boy haven't you? C'mon now, admit it, you were kinda naughty.
-Say, fella, I understand. I can -- what do the kids say these days -- "dig where you're comin' from." You want to be rich, right?
-Uh...
-Now me, I was born rich. I've never worn the same pair of socks twice.
-I believe they're laundered and sent to some charitable institution. I don't know what the heck they do with 'em. Maybe they use them for dust rags, or pen wipers...
-Or socks.
-Yes! That never occurred to me. Her ya go, buddy, single-malt. Gus, my friend, you're a genius. Okay, a naughty genius, but hell, nobody's perfect.
-Gus, Webco, the Webster industrial complex, is a family-owned cartel. A little magnesium here, a little zinc there. Some railroads here, some farm machinery there. You follow?
-Gus, do you know what I want now? I want coffee!
-Black or regular?
-Man, what is this?
-Under different company names. I control the price of coffee beans in Brazil. The price in Venezuela. Java, South Korea, North Korea, the Aleutian Islands, Guam, Bolivia, and the Republic of Gabon!
-But y'see, chum, the problem I got is that one country just won't play ball with me. You know how that can just bug a guy, don't you?
-Which country?
-Columbia.
-Columbia.
-Wipe 'em out?
-But Mr. Webster...you're doin' okay with Brazil and them other places. What's wrong with just one little old country doin' their own thing?
-A very wise man once said...I think it was Attila the Hun... "It's not enough that I succeed. Everyone else must fail." And you are going to do it for me.
-Gus, tell me, have you ever heard of Vulcan?
-How do you do that?
-Always making yourself beautiful for me, aren't you? So, Gus, can you make Vulcan do what I want it to? You didn't answer me, pal. Did you hear about that prison riot last week? It seems they were complaining about rats in the cells...
-Yeah, yeah, I can do it.
-When?
-First question got to be "Where."
-What?
-Hey, boss.
-Just the man I wanted to see!
-Turn on the T.V.
-I did. isn't it neat-o?
-Uh...what channel were you watching?
-It ain't. It's nowhere. It blew up. That's how come they shipped the dude to Earth when he was a baby. well. I know some stuff too, y'all.
-Just hold on a minute. I have been doin' some thinkin'
-God, that's what I keep you for.
-That's what I been thinkin' about. How you been keepin' me. I ain't getting' nothing outta this gig.
-Gus, if there's anything I hate, it's greed.
-He sure wasn't actin' bad and nasty that day in Smallville. Man, he was so full of niceness I was startin' to feel funny about layin' that chunk of...
-KRYPTONITE!
-Every oil tanker and super- tanker and super-duper-tanker in the ocean is controlled. totally, by computers. Computers to tell them where to go, how much oil to take on, where to deliver it.
-They ain't got captains?
-And do nothing. Just sit there.
-Then how's all the people gonna get their oil?
-And then shut down the pipe lines.
-Pumps stop pumping oil. Pipe lines stop pipin' oil. Tankers stop deliverin' oil. Man, this is high stakes.
-Lookit, you're getting' what you want all the time. it ain't right that I don't get somethin'! I never get somethin'!
-I knew it, I knew it, go be nice to people and they think they can ask for the moon!
-Now...when do I get a taste?
-I should think a taste of freedom is enough, don't you? Or would you prefer jail?
-Is this blackmail?
-Don't be getting' racist with me, man.
-Is this whitemail?
-Fair's fair.
-A waste-basket? GUS Those are plans. Blueprints.
-For what?
-A computer.
-We've already got some.
-Not like this one you ain't. Nobody in the world got one like this 'cause it don't exist yet. We got to build it.
-You designed it?
-I invented it, man. In my head. It's a stone killer-diller get-down get-it-on and twice-on-Sunday super mutha computer.
-What will it do?
-Everything.
-What will it get me?
-Anything.
-Yeah? How's it look?
-It looks wonderful. it is wonderful, let's face it.
-I told you it wasn't no jive.
-Gus, it seems we are talking state-of-the-art technology here. We are talking unlimited power. We are talking "get-down hot-cha daddy-o" whatever you called it.
-Stone mutha.
-But a machine this powerful is going to make powerful enemies. People who will want to destroy it.
-Ain't nobody gonna mess with my machine! I'll...I'll... what will I do? I'll build in a counter-punch! Anything attacks it gets counter- attacked! And wiped out!
-Can you do that?
-Remember, Gus. A machine doesn't want anything except to keep on being a machine. You've got to make sure it can figure out how to beat any opponent.
-You want to mess with Superman?
-Awright. I got me my electric train, mama. I finally got -- Hey, what y'all doin' up there?!
-How you doing down there?
-Don't make me talk, please. I got enough problems just hangin' on.
-Hey, you're perfectly safe.
-I ain't about to argue with you. What's gonna happen to them three? Ross the boss and those ladies?
-That's up to the judge, Gus. It's not your problem anymore.
-Watch out for them air pockets!
-No, we're just going down.
-We gonna crash?
-I never crash, Gus. That'd be embarrassing.
-We back in Metropolis?
-Whatcha wanna stop here for? Not that I ain't glad to be on the ground, y'understand.
-Thanks. Let's go
-I was afraid you'd say that. Hey, is there a bus station around here?
-Hey listen, I didn't know your mama was comin' by...
-Through the telephone line terminal, that ain't nothin'.
-Oh Bubba, think of the possibilities.
-You will command the tankers to sail toward a 50-mile area in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
-I know, by computers.
-Who is she?
-Who's the other woman?
-You're amazing, Olsen. A boring banquet and you bring back 3,000 boring pictures. Then Superman puts out a fire on Third Avenue this morning and you stand there and watch the whole thing and you don't take one picture!!
-I didn't have my camera with me.
-All right, Kent. I just hope you know what you're doing. If you really think Smallville is your big chance, go for it.
-What about me?
-What about you?
-Why do I have to do this?
-You! You're lucky I didn't fire you. I get a chance at exclusive on-the-spot pictures of the biggest forest fire in history and what does he come back with??? A broken leg and twelve melted rolls of film.
-Ricky? Where...what...
-I'd wash that out with some iodine... Okay, Mercurochrome.
-Thank ...you.
-Oh. I'm Lana Lang. This is Ricky.
-We've already met.
-And this is... ...Clark. My friend is around here somewhere, I'll just look for...
-You know, I really wasn't expecting all this.
-He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Well, this was only the biggest day of his life. I really don't know how to thank you.
-There's no rush.
-But the bridge...
-It's hard to believe... a great looking girl like you all alone like this. As she glances up at him, she is first flustered, then flattered, then...finally...just realistic:
-Listen, are you sure you shouldn't do something about the bridge?
-The picture looks blurry.
-What terrific story?
-Kent's been invited to his high-school class reunion.
-Hey, I'd definitely shoot color on that one, Jimmy. It'd be a crime to just use black and white.
-Lois, I've got to hand it to you. You're amazing. Who else could manage to turn a three-week tropical vacation into a front page story that's going to blow the lid off government corruption in the Caribbean?
-I thought you'd never get here.
-Hey, don't expect me to save you. Because I don't do that anymore.
-Well, don't let me keep you from anything.
-Lots of things...
-I'll do more than tell you. I'll show you, back at my place. If you'll just do me one little favor first.
-Okay, what is it? You want a ride?
-Never. I get air-sick. You wouldn't like that.
-No, I don't think I would. So... then what can I do for you?
-I don't know you, lady.
-But the other night...
-Ross, honey, it's time for your massage...
-If you don't mind, we are trying to hold a meeting here!
-Why stop at coffee! A cup of coffee gets the world off to work in the morning, but what keeps the world working?
-Diet soda?
-How would you know?
-Hey, I know a lot of things!
-"At a special session of the General Assembly, 178 countries voted to censure Superman. With only Columbia abstaining." ROSS That fella's becoming a public menace.
-I can't see anything.
-Turn on the light.
-Where's the light switch?
-Come on, will you? We've got to get ready before he gets here.
-Gus?
-You! Activate circuits 29 through W7 and start Full Power Coordinates on Exterior Defensive Systems:
-Oh, Superman!
-Cut the mush, Lorelei. He's after our skin!
-I can't! It's out of control!
-Mr. White, please, it's time for you to draw this month's winning JINGO number. The prize is an all-expenses trip to South America.
-Why can't the idiot in Circulation who dreamed up this imbecile contest in the first place ---
-53.
-Okay? Goodbye.
-Mr. White, the next number, please?
-How'm I supposed to turn this thing?
-By hand. Like the pioneers did.
-Mr. White, you be in this shot, handing them their plane tickets.
-It's modern. It's up-to-date. It's state-of-the art. People, I am in love with this machine. Go ahead, Mr. White.
-Where's the handle?
-85,000 dollars.
-Missing????
-I don't know who. Whom. I can't trace it. In the old days it was simple. We kept books, we had ledgers, we could see what was going in and what was paid out. If somebody wanted to rob you, he'd come in with a gun and say 'stick 'em up." Now they get theses blasted computers to do their dirty work!
-Now, Vera...uh, Simpson, you know my Staff Dietician?
-Well, chum? What now? Kiss the 85 thou goodbye? Pay some thief's salary while he thinks up new ways to shake the money tree?
-That's what I want to know! By whom? Whom????
-I don't kiss.
-Vulcan is the weather satellite our government put up in orbit to monitor the weather.
-But if somebody re-programmed it, it could do much more.
-It could make weather!
-Storms! Floods!
-Computers talk to other computers, right?
-She's not his mama either.
-Someplace where nobody knows him so they can't connect him with us.
-You mean...you mean...Vera! Vera! The magnitude of this!!!
-Today coffee----
-Small potatoes.
-We already have a super-tanker.
-Chicken feed. If Gus Gorman can push the right buttons ---
-He ruined it! That lousy do-gooder, he ruined it.
-Nice try, Butch, but it wouldn't be effective against Superman. You'll see! Now that he's pulled this stunt, he'll stick his nose in my oil scheme and ruin that one, too! I've got to get rid of him! I've got to!
-Wait a minute! She's right! Kryptonite. I remember reading about it in an interview with him. Nuts...
-What's wrong?
-I just remembered the rest. There isn't any more. The only chunk that ever landed on Earth disappeared a couple of years ago. It was in this story in the Daily Planet.
-Where did it come from?
-So?
-Don't you see? Okay, so you didn't kill him. Nobody's perfect. But that stuff we ran up in the lab wasn't a complete failure after all. Right after Gus gave it to him, Superman started to turn into a selfish, ornery, malicious, conniving...
-A normal person.
-And now that Superman's out of the Nice Guy business...
-That's it! The last tanker! They're all mine now! All...
-Come on, let's give it a dry run.
-Wait for Gus to get here, sis.
-He's the only one who can operate this --
-He's coming! He's going to hurt me!
-Yes! This time we got it right!
-Jimmy, how's the -
-Anybody been hurt?
-So far the hostages are unharmed.
-Hostages?
-Are you okay?
-Lois, I usually do.
-Not everyone can have X-ray vision, you know.
-Lois, what are you doing?
-When was the last time you heard me sneeze?
-Uh. . .
-Well, you never will again! Thanks to Vitamin C! I'm reading a book that says the foundation of a sound body structure is one thousand milligrams of Vitamin C every day.
-One thousand?? That's an awful lot of oranges. You know there are pill, Lois. I've seen them.
-I don't?
-Of course not. Not when you've got so much going for you.
-I do?
-Sure! But nobody knows it. Least of all you. Look, would you mind if I gave you some constructive criticism?
-Actually, yes.
-Lois, why don't you at least get one of those automatic ones?
-Haven't you heard? There's an energy crisis. No, this was good enough for my mother --
-Maybe I could try --
-Clark, everything I was saying -- can't you see I only say it because I really care?
-Really?
-It is kinda romantic.
-'Magic Fingers.' Fifty cents.
-Hah, some guys say I have magic fingers.
-Yeah, thanks. . . . I mean, really! Posing as newlyweds to uncover the honeymoon racket in Niagara Falls. I mean,. imagine wasting a great reporter - -- uh, reporters -- on this. Perry White and his Sunday Magazine exposes.
-A "complimentary corsage."
-I was. . . uh. . . just wondering about the.. . .the.. . . the uh, arrangements. Sleeping arrangements.
-I don't know, they look pretty happy to me...
-Hey, are you hungry? I'm hungry.
-Lois, you're amazing.
-Aw, c'mon -- anybody can get hungry.
-No. I mean here you stand with one of nature's most awesome spectacles and the whole time you've had your back to it. Aren't you impressed?
-Where were you?
-I was getting hot dogs. What do you mean?
-I mean it strikes me funny that every time Superman comes around, you disappear.
-Superman? Oh, was he here?
-Lois, I don't have the vaguest idea -- as usual -- what you're --
-Don't fake me out, Clark. Or whoever you are.
-Who ????
-Listen, I've got to give you credit. Your disguise is nearly perfect. I mean, if you fooled me, and I am nobody's fool --
-You've been under a lot of pressure lately -
-Uh-uh. Listen, I'll tell you what. You say I'm wrong. And I say I'm right. So why don't we make a little bet on it?
-Because of what I'm betting. My life.
-Oh Clark, no!
-It's true. It's true.
-Lois, I . . .
-I was right. you are Superman.
-You don't have anything to be sorry about. How could I . . .
-Maybe you wanted to.
-I didn't think I wanted to.
-I'm in love with you. How do you feel?
-We'd better talk.
-I'm listening.
-Not here, Perry'll be calling at six to find out what's happening.
-"What's happening." Oh, is that the understatement of the year. Well, so . . . where do you want to . . . talk?
-I want to.
-Let's go to my place.
-You did it. You gave it all up for me. I . . . I don't know what to say.
-Clark . . . it doesn't matter . . . we can move . . .
-Blood . . . my . . . blood . . .
-Maybe we ought to hire a bodyguard from now on.
-I don't want a bodyguard. I want the man I fell in love with.
-I have to go back . . .to the Fortress . . .
-But what can you do? There's no way now . . .
-Don't . . . it's not your fault . . . you didn't know . . .
-Hi.
-Sleep well?
-I know, I know all the arguments, you don't have to tell me. That's what I did all night -- I "listened to the voices of reason" till the dawn came up. Do you have any idea what a vile sound it to hear the first bird singing when you've been up night crying?
-I'm sorry.
-Me too, Oh, I tried to convince myself, believe me, "It's like being married to a doctor," I said. Doctors are practically never at home. The get emergency calls in the middle of the night and their wives manage to live with it. Then a voice said, " could you be a doctor's wife? Or are you too selfish . . . "
-You're not selfish at all.
-"They?"
-Everybody. Everybody else. I'd be buying my little rainbow at the their expense. All the ones who say "Help. Come quick. Now" I know who you'd have to pick.
-What else could I do?
-Oh, I'm not blaming you. I just know me. I'd be jealous. Jealous of . . . of all humanity. Some rival, huh?
-Lois, someday --
-Please don't tell me "You'll find somebody else someday." Cause . . . . . . well, you are a pretty hard act to follow, you'll have to admit that. Oh, I'll get by, don't worry about me.
-See what happens when I don't have my orange juice? The human body is only a workable, fairly fragile machine when you treat it with the same respect you'd show to ---- . . . gee . . .
-Take it easy. Take a deep breath.
-. . . Superman?. . . . .
-Lois, I really don't see why --
-I'll try to remember that . . .
-Well, you should. Because I appreciate you, too, you know.
-You do?
-Everything on it?
-Get your head out of the clouds, Kent. Where you been the last twelve hours?
-Uh...home...
-Don't you watch television? Don't you listen to the radio?
-Actually I was trying to catch up on my reading. There's a lot of Dickens I never got around to --
-But . . ..that's terrible!
-That's why they call 'em terrorists. Go down to the morgue and dig up anything you can find on past incidents of --
-Does Lois know about this yet?
-Does she know about it? She's in it!
-What??
-Gee. But --
-No offense, Kent. You're good, but Lois is the best we've got.
-Lex...Lex, how could you do that to Otis?
-What else is ballast for?
-How would you like to take a little vacation? I mean you've earned it, you know? You deserve it.
-There is some good in you, Lex, after all.
-You'll have to pack quickly.
-A bikini! I'll need to buy a new bikini, Lex. C'mon. After being cooped up in that prison, haven't you thought about me in a bikini . . ...once maybe ?
-A parka.
-You thought about me in a parka. That's sick, Lex. Really.
-Mush! Mush!
-Look at this! Snow. Ice. Your idea of a good time.
-A good time! Is that all you care about?!
-I like trees.
-You'll miss the battle of the century!
-Good. My heart can't take it.
-Well done, Miss Teschmacher.
-Why am I doing this? Why am I here?
-This way Lex.
-It' s fantastic! ----- This place is genius.
-Genius! -- Lex.
-I'll be alright.
-No, me, me, me. Thank you.
-It's beautiful.
-It has everything.
-Wrong.
-Why didn't you go before we left?
-That was two days ago. Frankly, I think this place is a bit boring. It's all white. Why doesn't the guy put up some posters? Maybe some bullfight things . . .
-Artemis? Do you read me?
-What'd he say before? He saw a girl?
-I think he said a "curl."
-What's a curl?
-Isn't that what the old Canaveral guys used to call a comet on an East-West trajectory?
-Mr. White, the pressroom wants to know how much longer to hold the front page.
-A gang of terrorists seized the Eiffel Tower in Paris
-I can't understand it! Where is he? I mean, he shows up every time a cat gets stuck in a tree, and now he decides to pull a disappearing act?
-Maybe we just don' t know his game plan.
-Game plan! It's fourth down and long yardage, the two-minute warning sounded and the ball's deep in our territory! How brilliant do you have to be?!
-You no longer can serve humanity if you invest your time and emotion in one of them at the expense of the rest. Surely this is not how you repay their gratitude, Kal-El. Could you really abandon the weak and the needy merely to fulfill some selfish dream.
-You have been given a higher form of happiness. The happiness you feel by serving others, by inspiring them to --
-Yes, but it's not all I feel.
-Patience, Kal-El. You begin to sound like an Earthling. SUPERMAN Mother, you speak only of honor, of sacrifice, of responsibility --
-Because that is your heritage. Those are the values we lived by on Krypton.
-And she -- the one you have chosen -- she feels as much for you?
--- as the keeper of the archives of Krypton, it falls to me to tell you of the darkest episode in our planets history.
-Now This I want to hear.
-For many eons the peoples of our world have lived together in harmony. Then there appeared among us three anti-social elements - what on Earth are classified as "criminals."
-My kind of people.
-The three proved - after exhaustive efforts - incapable of rehabilitation. Now as you know, we had no death penalty -
-Sensible enough.
-And so our scientists constructed, from an irreversible mathematical equation, the Phantom Zone. In it we imprisoned these three arch-villains for all eternity.
-No possibility for parole?
-The Elders have, of course, thought long and hard about that question.
-I asked the right question.
-The one danger we have considered is that the Phantom Zone might - we cannot predict - just might be cracked by a nuclear explosion in space. I cannot say I am glad you asked me that -
-Don't feel bad, Mr. Luthor. It almost worked. I mean California almost threw up right in the ocean. Millions of people almost killed. If it hadn't been for that guy Superman - that overgrown boyscout...
-I want my Liberace record back tonight.
-DELETE IN CUTTING
-I mean they can't even trace that guy on that radar they got, every time they try he just flies off.
-Where?
-North.
-Why?
-To ski?
-OTIS, your brain defies any known scientific laws in its infinite capacity to deteriorate. Every man has a vulnerable point. Some like you Otis, have more that one. I didn't see Superman's in time. But now through patience, invention and skill, my black box is just about ready.
-Oh! That black box in our cell?
-Shhhhhhh!
-That little black box, Mr. Luthor, I mean -- what's it for?
-That little black box goes beyond any known conventional radar, it tracks Alpha Waves.
-Ahhhhhh -- Alpha Waves.
-Wait, wait, wait just a moment. Wait till you've got to know better will you please. Wait, -- look, I can give you anything you want. I can give you the brass ring, the - er -- unlimited freedom to maim, cure, destroy, chew - plus Lex Luthor's savvy. Lex Luthor's career guidance... Lex Luthor's School of...
-We have all of this without you. You cannot bargain with what you don't have.
-No, Jor-El, the baseball player that came from Porto Rico. Yes Jor-El your Jailer.
-Oh my Fullness, as I explained to you before, I am about the best there is. Second best there is.
-He flies as well, then . . .
-Constantly.
-He has powers as we do . . .
-Certainly. But - Er. Oh Magnificent one, he's just one, but you are three, or four even, if you count him twice.
-Oh, General, the world is a big place. Thank goodness, my needs are small...As it turns out, I have this affinity for beachfront property . . .
-What do you want?
-Superman! The --
-Really Lois, we've got to stop meeting this --
-You must be freezing.
-I must be. But I'm not. Your home. This is your home.
-So -- I hope you like it.
-Like it? It's magnificent! Not that it couldn't use a woman's touch. Especially around dinner time.
-I never did this before . . . I have to tell you.
-It must be tough, having to be Clark Kent.
-Oh no. I really like it sometimes. And if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have met you.
-Perhaps there is some good in you after all, Lex Luthor.
-Me? I'm loaded with good! I mean I've never even used it.
-Wait! Don't go in! It's a trap!
-I knew you'd double-cross me, Luthor. A lying weasel like you couldn't resist the chance . . .
-Are you kidding? I knew it all the time. Did you see how they fell into our trap? Beautiful . . .
-Too late, Luthor. Too late . . .
-Which one would you like to join, Luthor? Pick a hole.
-You said it. Three-to-one should get you both ears and the tail.
-Why do you say this to me when you know I will kill you for it?
-There is something more you want. The greed is written on your face.
-Perhaps a small . . . incentive, your Ultimate. A tiny bauble to help me jog my memory . . .
-What more?
-No drinks . No movie. This is the last time I take a charter flight.
-Where is his home, Lex Luthor? Which way?
-Put down Lex Luthor !
-Hey, let's be fair. Actually, there've been two or three times --
-I'm the man they're protecting. I'm the President. I'll kneel before you if it will save lives.
-Who is this imbecile? Where is he?
-I wish I knew. -- Oh, God.
-Who is this . . . Superman?
-You'll find out, General! And when you do . . .
-And now they are willing to release the rest of the hostages?
-In return for a guarantee that we will not launch an attack an them.
-There will be no attack? No attempt to overpower the terrorists?
-Um. . . .we have made this guarantee.
-Yes, but will you honor it?
-Free!
-Strange. I tore those metal fibers like paper. And what he did . . .. Was amazing! Something is happening . . ..
-Yes. To all of us. The closer we come to an atmosphere with only one sun - a yellow sun - the more our molecular density gives us unlimited powers!
-Then we must go there too. To rule. Finally - to rule! And then you shall have what you want.
-DELETE IN CUTTING
-So this is the planet Houston . . .
-What shall we do now?
-Look, they need a machine to fly.
-You are master of all you survey.
-This "super" man is nothing of the kind. I have discovered his weakness.
-Yes?
-He... cares. He actually cares about these . . . . . .these People. These earth People .
-He's captured Non!
-General --- ?
-Did you really believe we would give up our advantage?
-It's brilliant. Daddy thinks so, too. You'll write a new series -- 'Metropolis After Hours.'
-I really don't think . . .
-But you're perfect for it. You're young, you're single, you're successful...
-And I'm usually in bed by ten-thirty.
-They make my eyes itch.
-You're late. Very late.
-Gosh, I'm sorry, we better get in line.
-I've never been in a place like this before.
-Don't tell me. You learned to dance at church socials.
-My prom was so boring. We all flew to Paris the next day to recover . . . Sometimes my whole life seems boring. I thing maybe I should just give everything away and go live among the poor people. Then I remember how smashing I look in sable . . . oh, it's all so confusing. You think I'm silly, don't you?
-No ... Metropolis is a confusing place. Back in Smallville -- my hometown -- everything was more simple. People would sacrifice everything just to lend a helping hand.
-Oh . . . no, there's no one back home.
-What about here?
-Well, my career takes up a lot of my time.
-Don't tell me you're waiting for lightning to strike. Wide-eyed romantics are an endangered species.
-That sounds kind of pessimistic.
-I feel kind of light-headed . . .
-Maybe I should sit this one out.
-Now you try, Clark. We'll start you off with 60 pounds.
-He's a jerk. I never noticed it before. Seems like a lot of people I know are jerks . . . . . . Maybe you think the same thing about me. That's why you keep avoiding me.
-Then prove it. Lois is doing an interview with Superman about his peace mission . . .
-Yes, I know. I'm sure it will be a great story.
-Gee, I don't think . . .
-Hello, Lacy. Can anybody break a twenty? The cabbie didn't have any change.
-Shouldn't you pay the cabbie?
-I missed you. It wasn't any fun up there with just Lois and Superman. They're so boring. Let's go do something wild!
-Oh . . . my . . .
-Hi. Is dinner ready? I'm famished.
-Gee, I'm really sorry.
-Daddy's offered me jobs at some of his other companies. But, I've been thinking maybe I'll take some time off. I'm going to find a place like Smallville, in the country. Maybe a farm . . . see what the slow lane is like.
-I'm sorry to see you go.
-You don't have to be polite, Clark. I've got a pretty good idea of how you feel about me.
-I'm not so sure you do.
-Any more like you back home, Clark?
-Like me?
-You'll find a good man Lacy. You deserve one.
-Maybe if you'd have met who I am now, instead of the spoiled brat you met a few weeks ago, it would have been different between us.
-Regardez. Voila Monsieur David Warfield.
-That tycoon who owns all those sleazy tabloids?
-No Paris?
-I don't think we're being treated fairly, Lois. And I'm going to tell Miss Warfield.
-The President is about to speak. I don't think it's going to be good news.
-Oh, probably just a picture request. I'll take care of it if you want, Lois.
-'Are you or are you not part of a plot to weaken our national defense?'
-It's her father's grey matter that's weakened if you ask me. How can I ask Superman such a dumb question.
-. . . Please leave your message at the beep.
-It's just a bad flu, really. How did you know . . .
-Superman? Has something happened to him?
-Everyone's saying he's . . . dead. But I know that isn't true. I feel it in my heart. I think he just needs help.
-It must have been a super effort to get out of bed, Clark.
-Close the curtains. The sun is hurting my eyes.
-Of course it is. Do you know what the sun is? Why it's just one huge nuclear bomb. A bomb with enough radiation to incinerate an average man like . . . that.
-But Superman isn't an average man.
-Boys, old Lex has a secret recipe in this dish . . . call it a genetic stew. You help me place it on one of your missiles and I promise you . . . if Superman throws it into the sun, he'll get the biggest surprise of his life. I'll be able to introduce Superman to his first nightmare . . . a
-And this so-called . . . Nuclear Man. . . of yours can defeat Superman?
-And what do we get out of it?
-Lex, we all appreciate how you've supported us lately and . . . uh . . . in recognition of your hard work we've decided to increase your commission to 12 percent.
-Impossible? Why?
-Because I made a vow. Never to interfere in the destiny of your planet.
-But what good is a vow if everything gets blown away? What good was my letter?
-Well, I don't understand.
-Would you mind taking a walk with me?
-Would you mind waiting for me in the visitor's gallery?
-Awesome!
-Jeremy, I need you to tell the people of the world what you see.
-Well . . . I see the ocean currents. . . and the rain . . . and mountains and rivers. . . but . . .
-Go on . . .
-But you can't tell where one country begins and another ends. You can't see any borders. It's just . . . one world.
-Not so fast! All trips are canceled. We pay for wire services. And what we don't get from them, we'll invent.
-Who does Clark Kent think he is anyway! He never even said good night!
-Clark Kent! You socialized with him . . . a . . . reporter!
-Oh . . . no . . . I mean, we just went dancing . . . for a story . . .
-Darling, it's good riddance. Let her go. And while you're at it, fire that Clark Kent. He hasn't been here in days. He hasn't even called.
-I know Daddy. I'm worried about him.
-Didn't we have our little talk about personal involvement with the help? Now that you're the publisher . . .
-Daddy . . . ?
-Yes, darling?
-Tone down our headlines? Lacy, that's all the common man reads!
-I'd just like to have a little less sensationalism.
-No, Daddy. Our business is journalism. We can't continue to be so irresponsible . . . or else we'll just lead everyone into a disaster.
-Is he for real?
-I think he's kind of cute.
-But all men like me, Lois. I'm very rich.
-This letter was addressed to Superman care of me.
-I think there's an angle.
-An angle?
-I know I'm not exactly a Girl Scout but . . . maybe if I show him I'm trying . . . he'll like me.
-Who?
-Clark. He's late again. I can't figure him out.
-That's because there's nothing to figure out. Now will you please pay attention. I'm not through insulting your father.
-And your heart beats faster just thinking about him.
-Right . . . you want to tell him how you feel . . .
-But he's never there.
-What's he going to say?
-What's that?
-Where's Clark?
-He was getting on . . . and then this man with luggage and . . . oh, it's a long story.
-Are we going to skip the country, Uncle Lex?
-Do you realize what I can create with a single strand of Superman's hair!
-A toupee that flies?
-. . . I look at you, Lenny, and I know how the Romans felt when the barbarians arrived at their city gate.
-But why the hair?
-He missed the door, Uncle Lex.
-Whoa. . .
-Gee, Uncle Lex, I don't think this guy's much of a dancer.
-Superman broke your monster, Uncle Lex.
-Gee, Uncle Lex, I was just getting to the good part.
-Hey, Uncle Lex, how's the Nuclear Guy goin' to find his way here?
-Oh Leonard . . . When I sent the remains of my last experiment . . .
-The one Superman wrecked up?
-Not how I might have put it, but, correct. The remains I sent to the sun included the creatures genetic memory. He'll remember everything that he experienced. Not to worry. He'll find his way back to me. Did you hear that?
-You're spookin' me out, Uncle Lex.
-Hey! He looks . . . normal.
-Hey! Just remember I made you.
-What was that about?
-Didn't you see it? He lifted me up and crashed me down.
-He's . . . cold. . .
-Of course! That's his one vulnerability. The one way he can be stopped.
-Boy, are you gonna get it.
-We'll all fry.
-This wasn't in the plan.
-Don't worry honey, I'm sure he'll make a swell husband.
-Ready, Uncle Lex?
-You think he'll find us.
-Never. But we have to hide out for a while. Lay low. Say. . . a couple of years. By then I'll have a new plan.
-What I need this for?
-I hadn't counted on this but . . . . . . of course - the power of the sun has given him internally generated heat. I am a ...
-You are . . .
-What? A genius? . . . an inspiration?
-I am an experiment? I am freako?
-Destroy Superman!
-Nifty, huh? Goodnight Sweet Prince, parting is . . . inevitable Now, destroy Superman.
-Nice bit. You're good. With my brain and your, well, frankly, brawn, the possibilities are staggering. I could be . . . Emperor, King! Did you see how scared those guys were?
-What do you fear?
-Me? Now? With Superman dead and you on my team? It's like I'm the coach and you're the best power forward ever. What could I have to fear?
-Stop! I command you . . . you mutant!
-Guess who? It's your old friend, Lex.
-Luthor, I suspect if you had actually planted a bomb you'd be far away from here by now.
-If you have any social skills, you've learned them from a rattlesnake. Just what are you up to?
-Know something? You're a workaholic. A good guy 24 hours a day. Stop and smell the roses sometime. Take up a hobby. Get a pet . . . a kitten or a puppy. . .
-It's common knowledge you hate children and animals. Why are you back in Metropolis?
-Look closely at his cell structure. See anything familiar?
-Your time in prison has twisted you into a delusionary state, Luthor.
-I'm not going anywhere.
-I'll ignore that . . . So, I created a monster who didn't work nearly as well as I might have liked -- you were clearly his better -- he needed more energy, more power.
-Which explains why you sent his organic matter to the sun.
-Precisely. And then it came to me. My greatest ever plan. I made a deal with some minor league Bad Boys. Arms Dealers, Renegades Generals, You know the type. With you gone, we'll make a fortune rearming the world.
-You'd risk worldwide nuclear war for your own personal financial gains.
-Nobody wants war. I'd just like to keep the threat alive.
-Superman. . . But you're... dead!
-I'll deal with you later.
-But . . . how could you beat him?
-But . . . but isn't the world about to be osterized?
-I know, but --
-You'll be designing monuments soon, Albert! Hotels! Palaces!
-Bunkers!
-There's some slice American cheese...and...a half a bottle of club soda, I think.
-Ahhhh, my favorite part of the day. Who else could have thought of this aquarium?
-Nobody else.
-That the planet blew up on May 23, 1937. That the rocket ship with the revolting little freak in it took three years to reach Earth. Ergo?
-He's thirty-five years old.
-You're a great architect, Albert.
-Thank you.
-Ah! The guest of honor at last! And about time, too!
-But Mr. Luthor, sir, I already --
-It's very simple, Otis. Very simple, the XK101 rocket. It's nothing, forty years ago we in the Fatherland were working on this. Five more years, we would've had it. But then -- -- that silly war...Why, my cousin Werner had already --
-Albert!
-Yes, so, well, Werner would've gotten to that too but -- -- but the XK101 flies only eight feet above the ground...well below the radar limit! So what? We could have done that soon. We had ways to make people ta-- ways to avoid the radar. And this XK101 -- they think it's so smart that they keep it in 'missile silos' underground. Hah!
-One of them should've been you.
-Yes, Mr. Luthor. The XK101 can travel anywhere in the world undetected. It also has a sensory device built into it so that it can detect any obstacle in its path and avoid it. It just goes around it or over it. The XK101 never quits! It will not stop until it reaches its pre-targeted target!
-Me?
-You'd better get a new alarm clock. The chief has been hollering for you.
-I've been on the job.
-A hot story, huh?
-It was hot, yes.
-You and Lois, you get all the action. There she is, out in the wild West and everything.
-Lois isn't here?
-She's in California. That's wild enough, I guess.
-What's she doing in California?
-Clark...Son...that...thing you did with the Sheriff today... those...stunts...you don't do those things at school, do you?
-No, Mom. You know I wouldn't break my promise.
-Don't worry, Mom. I know.
-Mom...
-I talked to Ben Hubbard this morning. He'll be more than glad to bring in the crops on shares.
-Mother...
-Do you know where you're headed?
-Keep warm now.
-I'd like to.
-I'll bet you have some good ideas.
-Your bookie?
-No.
-I know. He sends a check every week to his dear gray-haired old mother.
-Actually, she's silver-haired.
-Not...gray.
-Are there any more at home like you?
-Well, how are you enjoying your first day on the job?
-I think I lost a week's salary at the dart board.
-Some people aren't the athletic type.
-But otherwise it's swell.
-See? Didn't I tell you this was a tough town?
-Unbelievable.
-Hey!
-Stop him, Clark!
-He may have a gun!
-It isn't worth getting a heart attack over, Lois.
-You're great with the advice, Clark. Maybe you'd better take over the lovelorn column.
-Know what?
-You described the exact contents of my purse.
-What now, my love?
-Huh?
-Big night coming up?
-Oh, not really. I guess I'll just watch a little TV and -- -- unless...would you be interested in dinner?
-Thanks, Clark, but I'm booked for the night.
-Oh.
-It's not what you think. Darn it. I'm going out on a story. The Secretary of Defense is landing at the airport tonight and this kid's going to be there to make sure he answers a few questions he'd rather duck.
-For what? Oh, I've see the way the other half lives. My sister, for instance. it looks terrific, but is that what I really want? Three kids, two cats, and fifteen needlepoint pillows? I'd go bananas after one week. Hell, I need this crazy existence of mine. Like I need the plague, right? That's what your thinking.
-No. I'm just thinking that you smoke too much, if you don't mind my saying so.
-There's no real proof that tobacco --
-Can I take you to the airport?
-Not unless you can fly.
-I'm telling you, I was there.
-You were probably so scared you didn't look to see what the trick was.
-It wasn't a trick!
-Oh sure. A man flies in the sky like a pigeon and it wasn't a trick.
-Clark Kent, if you had only seen it the way I did, you -
-It was done with wires. They must have rigged him like they do with Peter Pan.
-There weren't any wires. I looked.
-Mirrors, then. It's done with mirrors.
-He grabbed me! He held me! He set me down gently! How could that be done with mirrors?
-Look, there was probably a trampoline on the roof somewhere and this joker just took a big bounce.
-Why would he do that? How would he know I was going to suddenly slip.
-I don't know, Lois, but I do know a fraud when I hear one. This thing goes against all natural laws.
-You're just jealous.
-Jealous? Of what?
-What'd you call him?
-Superman. Pretty good name for him, isn't it?
-Is that what they're calling him?
-They will once I hang it on him in tomorrow's edition.
-Super...man. Hmmm...
-It isn't that I still don't like you, Clark. It's just that...well, once you've had something like that happen to you, it kind of changes a girl. I'm going to make some coffee. You want some?
-Oh, what a chance! If I could just -- get to him.
-You're not the only one.
-Listen...thank you.
-You! The girl from the volcano! Kryptonite...
-Help! I mean -- I can't stop saying it. Silly, isn't it - There's nothing to worry about. Help! See.
-What are you doing here?
-Screaming
-Besides that.
-He wants to see you. Lex Luthor.
-The bald man! The one who tried to kill me?
-The way you describe him doesn't really do him justice.
-Couldn't we forget the plane? You could lift me in your big strong arms?
-Sure, and let the plane crash in the middle of the city.
-Oh.
-Look, lady, you saved my life once. I owe you a favor. But I can't understand why you follow a man like that.
-What can I tell you? He's my leader.
-You and your real estate.
-Me and my real estate? How many other girls, Miss Teschmacher, are lucky enough to have a Park Avenue address like this?
-It isn't a Park Avenue address. really.
-Why does it all mean so much to you? All the time, 'land, land, land.'
-My father always said to me, 'Son, don't invest your money in anything but land. Land! Stocks rise and fall, banks fall, people are no damn good, but they'll always need land and for that they'll pay through the nose. 'Remember that ,' my father said. 'Land."
-Your father was a sick weirdo.
-I know that. Bu tin this case he was right. Arnold 'Buster' Luthor, the most inept check forger of his time -- A pity he didn't live to see his son strike out for the big city. A pity he didn't live to see how, from humble beginnings, I created an empire.
-This??
-Compared to what came before? A year of living in the sewers? A part of that will always be with me.
-So I've noticed.
-Criers and complainers! That's what I get! Moaners and groaners! Me, Lex Luthor, who figured out how to live in luxury without ever paying one cent in taxes. Lex Luthor, who built this fantastic kingdom under the sea, so to speak, hidden and undetected by the fools who eke out their miserable lives on the streets above.
-Streets, Sunlight. When was the last time I saw sunlight.
-You'll be seeing stars in a minute, Miss Teschmacher. y'know?
-Speaking of feeding things, what about dinner?
-Again???
-I needed this, Y'know? I really needed this. just when I'm nearing the fruition of my project, Big Bird flies into town. Go ahead! Kill me by inches! Put me on the agony rack!
-You think he's for real?
-Nuts. He made it.
-Bet he makes it.
-Shut up.
-Damn! This will get him.
-What's the temperature now?
-Fifty degrees below and still falling.
-Krypton!
-Some people can read 'War and Peace' and come away thinking it was a simple adventure story. Other people can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and come away with the secret of the universe. Y'know.
-I read the article.
-See?
-See? I see. It's you who don't see. Doesn't see. I cannot believe it! How you people fail to grasp the long-range significance of this! Y'know?
-I'm going to bed.
-Mr. Romance...
-Meteorites!
-Ahh. 'National Geographic." In my day, this made 'Playboy" look like Mother Goose.
-I don't mean to denigrate your misspent youth, Lex, but what does that rock have to do with --
-Tune me in , lady. An explosion such as the one Superman describes would have altered the molecular structure of the Krypton rock.
-I know I'm going to get rapped in the mouth for saying this, but so what?
-Breathe that air, Miss Teschmacher.
-You're happy, aren't you?
-La de da da...
-The door jam, Miss Teschmacher. This Ethiopian shmendrick here, in his simple, unconscious way, needed something to wedge the door open, the better to inhale the flies that form such an important part of his diet. So he grabs something from the table...
-We just take it?
-What do you suggest, my dear?
-About Vesuvius. About Superman writhing in the bowels of the volcano. Ahh, the look on his face when he saw that Kryptonite. When will I see another, y'know? Y'know?
-I don't like to talk about it, Lex.
-Weak sister. I still can't figure out why it took so long for you to catch up with us after we all ran out. Y'know?
-You ever try to run in high heels? You probably did.
-Ready?
-They stop for nothing.
-But if I put my leg out like Claudette Clobert in --
-Don't let me down.
-You?! How about me?
-No news is not good news. Y'know
-There was a recipe on the back --
-You're not going to hit me?
-Hit you? A clever girl like you? 'He turned slowly, slowly in the lava...' was how you described it. Now that's clever. I have to hand it to you.
-You've been under such a strain. And I've ...I've -- -- neglected you. Mea culpa! Y'know.
-She knows. Clever, very clever. And unappreciated. But I'm going to take you away from all this.
-A night on the town instead of under it?
-I don't understand.
-Yours not to reason why, Miss Teschmacher. Relax! Enjoy it! Just look at that smog!
-This all has something to do with Superman, doesn't it?
-Your volcano chum? Your junior life-saving buddy? Let's get high.
-Oh. Why? does he live up here?
-Not exactly. But it's his kind of neighborhood.
-Nothing, nothing. I just want to invite him to tea.
-Tea?
-You got wax in your ears?
-What if he doesn't show up? What if he's taking a nap?
-Danger?? Somebody??? Lex -- where are you going?
-Where's mine?! Where's my parachute?
-Miss Teschmacher, Superman is a fairly bright individual. My understanding of the way he works is that he won't be fooled by a simple trick.
-Good. Fine. Now where's my parachute?
-I'm wearing it.
-I mean the other one!
-What other one?
-You can't do this to me!
-But you can't ignore these facts! It's suicide! Worse than that, it's genocide.
-Jor-El, Be warned. This tone of yours approaches insolence.
-My friends, I am not a rash, impulsive person. I'm not given to wild, unsupported statements. We must evacuate this planet immediately!
-You are one of Krypton's greatest scientists Jor-El -
-Then -
-I have sworn to uphold the laws of Krypton.
-This discussion is terminated. The decision of the council is final. You will cease pursuing this matter. Any attempt by you to continue, to create a climate of fear and panic among the populace, will be deemed an act of insurrection!
-As an irredeemable criminal? You compare me to them?
-Will you abide by the Council's opinion?
-What're you writing, Lois?
-an Ode to Spring. are there one or two "T's" in bloodletting?
-Two.
-Boy!
-Gets you where you live, huh?
-How come you get all the good stories, Lois?
-Need I ask who's favored to collect at the end of this week.
-It's a ...baby.
-What's your name, boy?
-Well - gotta change that tire if were gonna get home.
-The good lord works in mysterious ways.
-He sure as heck does that.
-All these years, happy as we've been, how I prayed and prayed He'd see fit to give us a child. And just when I finally accepted my bitter lot... No one must ever know.
-Folks'll ask question.
-We'll say he's a child to my cousin in North Dakota, and just now orphaned. Poor thing.
-Guess I'd better hitch up the rig and come back to get that...that thing he was settin' in. What do you make of that thing? Martha? You listening?
-I was thinkin' what to call him. I was thinkin' I had an uncle who was a fine man, you recall him? The Church Sexton
-Who? Clark? I never cared two hoots for that fella. Jonathan Jr. That's got a ring to it.
-Got all A's this year. Teacher said he's the best 5th grader in the -
-Oh, dear. That isn't what I --
-What your mother means, Clark, is that she don't want folks to think you're special.
-It's the only logical conclusion. If he remains here, he'll be as dead as...
--- as we will be.
-Lara, please...
-But why Earth, Jor-El. They're practically animals.
-They are primitive, Lara, but they are not animals.
-A million years behind us. Jor-El, he's only a baby.
-Their atmosphere will sustain him. He will look like one of them.
-He'll be weightless.
-Yes, true. But on other worlds there would be other problems - heat, cold, no life, no life support systems...No, Lara, believe me; Earth is the least of evils. On Earth, his lighter gravity will render him almost weightless - that can't be helped. But with his denser molecular structure, he will also be strong. He will be fast, He will be virtually invulnerable.
-He will be odd, different.
-You've been doing some research in the archives.
-I want to know what my child is going to face.
-I don't know what to say. Look, I -- I just -
-Enjoyed it?
-I guess I got carried away
-My son, I foresaw this. I knew -
-No! You couldn't imagine -
-How good it felt!
-....to feel yourself. Very well. You are revealed to the world. But still you must keep your secret identity. First of all, you will need it as an escape valve. You cannot be special twenty-eight hours a day -
-Twenty-four.
-Or twenty-four as it is in Earth time. Furthermore, if you will reveal yourself, your enemies will have a way of getting at you where you are vulnerable: by hurting the people you care for. Ah, this Earth...this world you live in, Kal-El... Resist its temptations, its rewards, especially its political system.
-There are none of them any good anyway.
-Here's the story on that East 19th Street murder spree. Page one with a banner headline seems about right to me.
-Lois, take Kent there and introduce him around
-Lois, the kickback story...
-Nine to five it's a Pulitzer Prize, I know.
-If one of you can get that -- I mean, I want the real Superman. Who is he? Where's he from? What's his favorite ball team? What's up?
-He is. Usually.
-Easy now, miss, I've got you???
-You've got me? Who's got you???
-Do as I say. Let go!
-Oh, God! I'm going to die!
-Who...who...
-With my luck, now it'll rain.
-Superman???
-Right on the first guess.
-Wha'...what are you doing here?
-I came to talk to you.
-The answer is yes. Now what's the question?
-There's been a lot of confusion in the media about who I am and what I'm up to and all that. I'd like to set the record straight. With your help.
-This is incredible. I was just sitting here trying to figure out how to contact you. I mean, you don't have an answering service, right?
-Well...flashlight?
-I think you'll be able to remember it. I doubt you'll misquote me.
-If I do, you can punish me. Fly me to Bermuda and just lave me there for two weeks. This is fantastic! I wish Clark were here.
-Who's Clark? One of your colleagues?
-Oh, I've got to get some matches. My cigarette.
-I'd appreciate it if you didn't smoke.
-Oh. Well, where do we start?
-Ask, You're the girl reporter.
-Okay. Let's start with these strange powers of yours.
-You think they're strange?
-I didn't mean that in any pejorative way.
-I guess they are a little odd.
-Well, I mean it's not everybody that can deliver an air mail letter without putting a stamp on it.
-I wouldn't do that. It's against the law.
-Oh.
-The reason I can fly is because my molecular structure is so constituted that I have a lighter density under Earth's gravitational force.
-It must feel great.
-It's not bad.
-How old are you?
-Thirty-five.
-How much do you weigh?
-195 pounds.
-What about this X-Ray vision of yours?
-What about it?
-Can you really see through anything?
-Uh-huh.
-Is it true you're impervious to pain?
-Yes. Although I can get a headache just like anyone.
-Do bullets really bounce off you?
-What color underwear am I wearing?
-Can you actually fly faster than the speed of sound?
-Sure.
-Do you like pink?
-Very much.
-Where do you hail from?
-I...uh...
-Now then, Otis. Did you get what I asked for?
-There.
-Not there! A pine tree in Death Valley? Idiot! This is for the North Woods section!
-Did I do good, Mr. Luthor?
-What's the matter, Otis?
-Matter? With me? Nothing's the matter.
-I broke the man out of prison --
-I'll always be grateful, Mr. Luthor.
-I gave him steady employment --
-I'll never forget you for that, Mr. Luthor.
-I gave him this new face.
-And now he lies to me. He has been stealing ladies' purses again. Haven't you? Haven't you, you miserable petty crook?
-Please...
-Is that real enough for you?
-It is for me.
-But, to someone from the planet Krypton, this substance would be lethal because of its high level of radioactivity. Kryptonite! Ah, Kryptonite! That's the stuff!
-You mean bullets and fire and all that can't hurt him, but this kind of rock --
-Well, gents? What did I tell you? It's a piece of cake.
-They're killing me by inches! Go ahead! Make me suffer! Milk me dry.
-Maybe it's being polished or something. Maybe they're cleaning it.
-Cleaning a rock, Otis? Jot it down. As soon as we're back, he feeds the pets.
-I still don't get it.
-Sort of.
-What is this??!
-Makes Cecil B. DeMille look like the Senior Class play, right?
-Well -- you've got me! What can I say?
-Plenty! About 'The Crime of the Century,' Remember?
-This is California. The richest, most populous state in America. And growing like a sonofagun.
-I don't need a geography lesson, Luthor.
-It's just that -- I spent a fortune on these things! And all for naught! What a waste --
-Of time, Luthor.
-At the San Andreas Fault. Maybe you've heard of it.
-Sure. It's the joining together of two land masses pushed together eight million years ago. The fault line itself is unstable and always shifting, which is the reason you get earthquakes in the California area from time to time.
-Nice! Most of California would have been destroyed. Millions of people would've been killed! The West Coast as we know it would have --
-It would never have worked, Luthor. You are a dreamer -- a sick, twisted dreamer.
-Maybe I should get help.
-It wouldn't hurt. You can't go on living in fantasies. Did you really think you could get hold of a nuclear bomb? And drop it? Why, our Strategic Defense boys would have --
-You're right, you're right, Superman. There were wrinkles to iron out. But, well... ...there is this new rocket, the XK 101.
-The XK 101. Luthor, that operates on radio waves. And with our fail-safe system, only the President himself can push that button.
-Still, foolishly, perhaps, I had a theory that eliminates the Presidential push-button. I was doing my homework...
-On radio waves?
-Luthor --
-Well, that's their problem, T.S. But -- but the XK 101 also works on a radio wave control system. The problem was to find out the frequency. Problems, problems, I've had so many...
-They'll soon be over.
-Well, it's very impressive but you built this junk for nothing.
-Now who's the dreamer, Superman? Even you can't fly that fast!
-Yes, we do know each other. I'm Alison Jones.
-Yes.
-Ally. That was my nickname.
-Ally. That's right.
-How are you?
-I'm just fine, Ally. What about you?
-I'm fine. Still working with my father.
-And what does he do again?
-Ally Jones.
-How is Mrs. Stephens?
-We're...not together.
-I'd heard that. But she's well?
-Yes...fine.
-I'm glad to hear that Zoe's okay.
-Are you still in touch?
-Not really. The last time I saw her was at that clinic. That was a long time ago.
-Which one?
-Which one?
-Which clinic?
-I don't remember the name. It was near a beach.
-So there were others?
-Other clinics? Oh sure. Clinics, half-way houses, treatment centers, detox units...
-Then...when did she get better?
-She didn't.
-But you said...
-That's where I'm going. To see her.
-She's in trouble?
-What...does it turn to?
-I'm...so sorry.
-I...don't think so.
-I woke to the sound of Zoe's breathing. It was laboured. I looked over and noticed she was sweating and all swollen. I grabbed her, rushed to the kitchen, and splashed water on her face.
-What happened?
-What happened?
-Well, it was nice meeting you again, Mr. Stephens.
-Mitchell. It was nice to see you again, Ally.
-Alison.
-Alison.
-Say hi to Zoe.
-I will.
-I hope she gets better.
-My name is...
-Mister, I don't want to know your name.
-I understand.
-I can help you.
-Mr. Mitchell Stephens, Esquire, would you be likely to sue me if I was to beat you right now? Beat you so bad that you pissed blood and couldn't walk for a month. Because that's what I'm about to do.
-No, Mr. Ansel. I wouldn't sue you.
-Leave us alone, Stephens. Leave the people of this town alone. You can't help.
-You can help each other. Several people have agreed to let me represent them in a negligence suit. Your case as an individual will be stronger if I'm allowed to represent you together as a group.
-Case?
-The Walkers have agreed. The Ottos. Nicole Burnell's parents. It's important to initiate proceedings right away. Things get covered up. People lie. That's why we have to begin our investigation quickly. Before the evidence disappears. That's why I'm out here tonight.
-That's my daughter. Or it may be the police to tell me that they've found her dead. She's a drug addict.
-Why are you telling me this?
-That's my daughter. Or it may be the police to tell me that they've found her dead. She's a drug addict.
-Why are you telling me this?
-Hi, Nicole.
-Hi, Mr. Ansel. Hi, Jessica, Mason...
-They just finished supper.
-I'll be back around nine.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah.
-It just seems...kind of weird.
-Why?
-I don't know.
-Nicole, I'm just going to pack all this stuff and give it to the church for charity. Don't feel bad. Unless you feel strange about wearing it.
-No. I mean, I remember Mrs. Ansel wearing some of this stuff, but...I don't feel funny about that. I really liked her.
-What do you mean 'outgrown it'?
-I'm not sure.
-Goodnight, Mr. Ansel.
-Why would he do that? You didn't have anything to do with the accident.
-I used to like it here. I used to care about what happened. Now I think I'll sell my house and move the fuck away.
-Billy, please. The children.
-How is Nicole? Is she around?
-She's resting. In her room.
-So what brings you out tonight?
-I don't see how that concerns you, Billy.
-It does concern me.
-Well, I don't know why it should. There's a whole lot of people in town involved with lawsuits. We're hardly unique here, Billy. I mean, I can understand how you feel.
-Well, it being so depressing and all. But it's reality. You can't just turn this off because you happen to think it's a bad idea.
-Why not?
-Because it's what we have to do.
-Well I don't want a damned thing to do with it.
-I've tried to stay out of it. But it turns out that's not so easy, Sam. You've gone and got yourself this lawyer. Mitchell Stephens. You and Risa and Wendell and the Ottos.
-So? I mean, lot's of folks have got lawyers.
-If that bastard does subpoena me, if he forces me to go over this again, then all those other lawyers will line up behind him and try and do the same thing.
-That won't happen, Billy. Mitch Stephens' case is small, compared to some of those other guys. The way he told me, all he needs is for you to say what you saw that day, driving behind the bus. I know it's a painful thing to do, but it'll only take a few minutes of your time. That'll be the end of it.
-That's wrong, Sam. You know that. We'll be tangled up in this thing for the next five years. This is never going to go away...
-C'mon, you know that won't...
-No, Billy. We can't drop the lawsuit. You know how much we need the money.
-Why? You got money from Dolores' insurance with the school board. We all did.
-It's not enough. For hospital bills. For Nicole.
-I'll help pay for Nicole, if that's what you're really talking about. I'll even give you the money I got for my kids. That's what we used to do, remember? Help each other. This was a community.
-Nicole's coming over to look after the kids tonight. She'll be there around six.
-Billy, that's too early.
-She said she's got to be home by nine.
-Have you been waiting long?
-A while.
-Does this mean I can't take a shower?
-What time's he coming home?
-What are you thinking?
-Tomorrow I'm going to put Sean on the bus. He won't want to go. He never does. He'll cry and want to hold on to me.
-Yes.
-It's natural.
-Your kids never cry.
-Well, maybe that's because they know I'm going to follow them. Behind the bus.
-They can look forward to that.
-Sure.
-You're leaving.
-Good night, Billy.
-I stopped by the station a while ago. I stared at the bus. I could almost hear the kids inside. There was a lawyer there. He told me he'd gotten you signed up. Is that true?
-Mr. Stephens says that someone didn't put a right bolt in the bus...
-Risa, I serviced that bus. At the garage. There's nothing wrong with it.
-...or that the guardrail wasn't strong enough.
-You believe that?
-I have to.
-Why?
-Because I have to.
-Is it true that you gave Nicole one of Lydia's dresses? That she was wearing it when the bus crashed?
-Yes.
-Why did you do that, Billy?
-Dolores. No one calls me 'Mrs. Driscoll'.
-What do you mean by that, Dolores?
-About the Ottos?
-I mean, the way they look. Their hair and clothing...
-Do they have any reputation for drugs?
-No, nothing like that. The Ottos are what I'd call model citizens. They're regular at town meetings. They give their opinions in a respectful way. They always help out at various fund-raising bazaars in town , though they aren't church goers.
-And they loved Bear.
-Those are all from the fair last year. Abbott and me were judges at the pet show.
-For rabbits?
-Billy loved to see his kids in the bus. They always sat in the back, so they could wave to each other. It comforted him.
-From what?
-From what?
-Did he have any particular problems that you knew of? Financial pressures...run-ins with the law...
-No, nothing like that. Billy's wife, Lydia, died of cancer a few years ago. He took over raising the children by himself. It was obvious how much he missed Lydia.
-You talked about it?
-That's the way I thought of them sometimes.
-Berries.
-Abbott and I used to do a lot of that in the spring.
-Berry-picking.
-Yes. The old-fashioned way.
-And what's that?
-A strange little fellow, but you couldn't help liking him. He was close to ten but seemed more like a frightened five or six.
-Were his parents...attentive to him?
-What do you mean?
-You mentioned that he had a learning disability.
-That's right.
-Did his parents attend to that?
-What do you mean?
-Did they give him special care?
-I have a question for you, Mr. Stephens.
-I told you that I was doing fifty miles an hour when the accident happened. That's how I remembered it. But the truth is, I might have been doing sixty. Or sixty five. And if that's true, that I was over the limit when the bus went over, what would happen then?
-That would complicate things.
-Because I'd be to blame, right?
-Billy Ansel will insist that you were driving fifty-one miles an hour. Just like you've done every morning for the past fifteen years.
-He knows that? Billy?
-Yes. He does.
-You've talked to Billy?
-I did.
-And Billy told you that he'll tell that to...
-It's clear to me and other people that you have suffered significantly from this event.
-What other people?
-Excuse me?
-You heard what Abbott said?
-Yes.
-Anything you didn't understand?
-That's what he said, is it?
-He never took his eyes off his mother, even as he moved to sit beside Nicole. He looked frightened.
-Why would he be frightened?
-Good morning, Wanda. Hi, Hartley.
-What do you think?
-Well, it's certainly what you'd call interesting.
-You hate it.
-I didn't say that.
-I could wrap it up. Protect the other kids.
-It's for the school bazaar.
-Oh, it's bizarre alright. C'mon Bear. Let's get you out of here.
-Away from your crazy Mom.
-You want a cup of tea or something?
-But Dolores said she saw a dog and tried to...
-I didn't ask if you wanted milk.
-No. A little sugar though.
-We've only got honey.
-He thought it was cute when I called him Frankenstein. It wasn't. I feel like his monster.
-Isn't it a lovely day?
-What happened to summer?
-Summer's over. It's fall.
-And winter?
-How was it?
-So do you like your new room?
-It's interesting.
-Your Dad spent all his spare time in here. He wanted to make it absolutely perfect.
-Is this mine?
-Yes. It's a present.
-From you?
-No. From Mr. Stephens. That was him on the phone just now. He was calling to see how you were.
-Maybe we shouldn't be talking about this just now, with you barely home. Aren't you hungry, honey? Want me to fix you something?
-Nicole!
-That was Billy Ansel on the phone. He wants to come over to talk to us.
-Did he say what about?
-No.
-Was he drinking? Could you tell?
-Is he coming over now? Right away?
-Hey, Billy! What brings you out on a night like this? C'mon in. Take a load off.
-The Pied Piper of Hamelin. By famous Hanover city; The river Weser, deep and wide, Washes its wall on the southern side; A pleasanter spot you never spied; But, when begins my ditty...
-What's a ditty again?
-It's like a song.
-What's vermin again?
-Rats! They fought the dogs and killed the cats, And bit the babies in the cradles, And ate the cheeses out of vats. And licked the soup from the cook's own ladles, Split open the kegs of salted sprats, Made nests inside men's Sunday hats, And even spoiled the women's chats, By drowning their speaking With shrieking and squeaking In fifty different sharps and
-Nicole?
-Yes.
-Can I sit beside you on the bus tomorrow?
-Don't you usually like to sit at the back? To wave at your Dad?
-I want to sit beside you tomorrow.
-Nicole?
-That's right.
-Well, if he knew magic - if he could get the kids into the mountain - why couldn't he use his pipe to make the people pay him for getting rid of the rats?
-Because...he wanted to them to be punished.
-The people in the town?
-Yes.
-So he was mean?
-No. Not mean. Just...very angry.
-Oh.
-Should I keep reading?
-I don't like thinking about the accident. I don't even remember it happening. Besides, it just makes people feel sorry for me, and...
-You can only feel lucky that you didn't die for so long. Then you start to feel...unlucky.
-That you didn't die? Like the other children?
-It would be strange if you didn't feel that way.
-They work for the people we're trying to sue. Their job is to try to minimize damages. Our job, Nicole, is to try to maximize them. You have to think of it that way. As people doing their jobs. No good guys or bad guys. Just our side and their side.
-I won't lie.
-I don't want you to lie.
-The truth is that it was an accident, and no one's to blame.
-There's no such thing as an accident, Nicole. Not in a situation like this.
-You seem very sure about that.
-Dolores.
-Yes. Dolores...and even your mom and dad. But I'll make sure you go last.
-Why?
-It was snowing.
-I object to the form of that question. Note that.
-There was nothing reckless in Mrs. Driscoll's behavior?
-Note my objection. She said, 'As I'm talking.'
-Note that she said 'pretty clearly'. Not 'clearly'.
-I have no questions.
-Do you have a room?
-Will you be spending more than a night?
-What about Doreen?
-She...she was a friend of mine.
-When?
-At school. She fell for Kyle just before we graduated. Got pregnant, and...went to live in a trailer up on a woodlot Kyle's dad used to own. Kyle started spending more and more time at the Spread Eagle...
-That's the local bar?
-What do you mean?
-That's great, Wendell. That's the sort of thing I need to know. So it doesn't come back to haunt our case later on.
-Tell me about the Ottos.
-Wanda and Hartley. They lost Bear. He was their adopted son. A beautiful boy. Indian.
-Yes.
-They're smart. Been to college. They moved here from the city about a dozen years ago.
-What do they do?
-Crafts.
-Crafts?
-Have they ever been busted?
-Need a hand?
-You always think you're prepared for these things.
-Tell me about it.
-How old is she?
-Almost three.
-Is this it?
-Perfect.
-Here we go.
-I'm in a car wash.
-A car wash! Wow, I've never talked to you when you've been in a car wash. Make sure you've got the windows closed.
-Remember that time we were having the car washed and I started playing with the automatic window? How old was I, Daddy? Five or six? I got absolutely soaked, remember?
-Why are you calling me, Zoe?
-Nothing's wrong with trying to talk to me, Zoe.
-So what's the problem?
-The problem is I have no idea who I'm talking to right now.
-DADDY!!!
-Why can't you talk to me?
-Yes, I'll accept the charges.
-Daddy?
-Yes.
-I'm calling because I've got some news for you, Daddy. Some big news.
-News?
-Don't you want to hear?
-Yes. Give me your news, Zoe.
-You always think you know what I'm going to say, don't you? You always think you're two steps ahead of me. The lawyer.
-Tell me your news, Zoe.
-Okay. I went to sell blood yesterday. That's how it is. I'm in this fucking city where my father is a hot shit lawyer, and I'm selling my blood.
-That's not news, Zoe.
-Do you know what that means, Daddy? Does it register?
-Yes.
-I tested positive.
-Yes.
-What do you want me to do, Zoe? I'll do whatever you want.
-I need money.
-What for?
-You can't ask me that! Not anymore! You asked me what I wanted. Not what I wanted it for. I want money.
-Do you have the blood test?
-You don't believe me? You don't fucking believe me?
-I can hear you breathing, Daddy.
-Oh God, I'm scared.
-Some more wine?
-I'm afraid this meat is overdone.
-I'm sorry about that, Mr. Stephens. Would you like to try the fish?
-What is it?
-We do.
-Is there shrimp on it?
-Yes.
-If you could pick the shrimp off, as well as anything that touches the shrimp...
-I'm not sure if that will leave much on the plate.
-I'm sorry for coming over unannounced like this, Mrs. Otto, but the Walkers said you would understand. I know it's an awful time, but it's important that we talk.
-Who are you?
-I'm a lawyer.
-You can't come here.
-Please, let me explain. I'll only take a moment of your time.
-No.
-The Walkers spoke very highly of you.
-You've been retained?
-Yes.
-It should be said that my task is to represent the Walkers only in their anger. Not their grief.
-Who did they get for that?
-Dolores?
-It's my belief that Dolores was doing exactly what she'd been doing for years. Besides, the school board's insurance on Dolores is minimal. A few million at the very most. The really deep pockets are to be found in the town, or in the company that made the bus.
-You think someone else caused the accident?
-So you're just the thing we need.
-Excuse me?
-Isn't that what you want us to believe? That we're completely defenseless? That you know what's best?
-Are you expensive?
-No.
-If you agree to have me represent you in this suit, I will require no payment until after the case is won, when I will require one third of the awarded amount. If there is no award made, then my services will cost you nothing. It's a standard agreement.
-Are you a reporter?
-Kyle Lambston's a drunk. Nobody likes him. He's a nasty piece of work.
-Been drinking since high school. Fucked himself up. Used to be smart enough.
-Any criminal record?
-Probably half a dozen traffic convictions. Drunk driving. Lost his licence. That's why he don't work no more.
-Can't get off that shitty dump they live on. What little money comes in goes to booze.
-How does the family survive?
-Now on that morning, did there come a time, Nicole, when you left your parents' house?
-Yes.
-What time in the morning was this?
-About eight-thirty in the morning.
-No. I was alone. My sister Jenny was sick and stayed home that day.
-Was there anything unusual about the driver, Dolores Driscoll, or the bus that particular morning?
-Yes.
-And where did you sit that morning?
-My usual place. On the right side. The first seat.
-And according to your recollection, there was nothing unusual about the drive that morning?
-No.
-Did there come a time when all the children had been picked up?
-Yes.
-You remember that much?
-Yes.
-There was a brown dog that ran across the road up there, right by the dump, and Dolores slowed down not to hit him, and he ran into the woods. And then Dolores drove on and turned onto the Marlowe road, as usual. I remember that. I'm remembering it pretty clearly.
-You are?
-I will offer that report. Well, then, now that your memory seems to be clearing, can you tell us what else you observed at that time?
-Before the actual accident?
-I was scared.
-Why were you scared?
-This is before the accident, Nicole. Do you understand what I'm asking?
-Yes, I understand.
-Why were you scared?
-Mrs. Driscoll was driving too fast? What made you think that, Nicole?
-The speedometer. And it was downhill there.
-You could see the speedometer?
-How fast would you say Mrs. Driscoll was going? To the best of your recollection?
-Seventy-two miles an hour.
-Seventy-two miles an hour? You're sure of this?
-You believe that the bus driven by Mrs. Driscoll was going at seventy- two miles an hour at this time?
-You saw the speedometer?
-Yes.
-Did you say anything to Mrs. Driscoll?
-No.
-Why not?
-I was scared. And there wasn't time.
-There wasn't time?
-No. Because the bus went off the road. And crashed.
-You remember this?
-What do you remember about the accident?
-That was great.
-Really?
-You're going to blow everyone away.
-You mean it?
-Of course.
-You don't sound like one hundred percent absolutely sure.
-What's so funny?
-What took so long?
-What's that?
-Mrs. Ansel's clothing.
-They say I'm lucky because I can't remember the accident.
-How do you like it, Nicole?
-The ramp?
-Pretty slick, eh?
-Very slick.
-Do you like the colour?
-It's okay.
-The door needs a lock.
-That's too high. I'll never reach it.
-He's a lawyer. He's our lawyer.
-You and Mom have a lawyer?
-Well, yes. He's your lawyer too.
-It's because of the accident, Nicole. Most people in this town whose kids were on the bus have got lawyers. A lot of people...well, people in this town are very angry. Us included.
-You're going to need special care for a long time to come. It's not going to be easy. Not for you, not for any of us. Because we love you so much. And it's going to cost money. More than we can imagine.
-What about insurance? Doesn't insurance pay for these things?
-Partly. But there's a lot the insurance doesn't cover. That's one of the reasons we have a lawyer. To make sure the insurance gets paid and to help us look after the rest.
-How will he do that?
-What are you up to, Nicole?
-Nothing.
-Nothing good on your T.V.?
-Are you sleeping?
-No.
-Nicole, tomorrow Mr. Stephens wants you to make your deposition at the courthouse. I thought I'd take you over.
-Great.
-What do you mean?
-He couldn't look at me. But I looked at him. Right at him. His secret was mine now. We used to share it. But not anymore. Now, I owned it completely.
-Well, okay. I'll take you about nine-thirty in the morning. That's okay with you?
-Yes.
-How about Sunday night? That's always the best time.
-What's going to happen to Dolores?
-I don't know.
-Will the police do anything to her?
-It's too late for that. She can't drive the bus anymore. The school board saw to that right off.
-She'll move away.
-There's talk of that.
-Well, there's the Hamiltons. Joe and Shelly Hamilton.
-That sonofabitch owes thousands to the bank and half the businesses in town. He's about to lose his house and car.
-But Charlene...
-Don't even think of the Bilodeaus or the Atwaters. They're all inbred.
-Yeah, well, they probably smoke weed.
-Loretta...Sidney Falco...
-You ought to stop this nonsense, Loretta, these two dollar bets.
-It's compensation, Leo, for the marginal life we lead. Sidney, did you hear the story about the cloak-and-suitor who -- ?
-That's right! Tell him, so I can read it in Hunsecker's column first!
-Will you mind your own business!
-Where are we running? What am I missing here?
-Waiter, the check. This man is trying to hold a gun to my head!
-How are you tonight, Mr. Falco?
-Is "he" inside?
-But of course...
-Alone or surrounded?
-Hello, Sidney. Wanna table?
-Just hopping tonight. Leo Bartha been in?
-He's somewhere...
-Come on boys, break it up...
-Did she accept?
-Excuse me, Steve. I said namely you shouldn't go around wild, blaming people without justification.
-Boys, this gets nobody nowhere - you're over excited, Steve and -
-Don't apologize for me, Frank!
-I want to speak to Miss Hunsecker, please.
-I still think he's responsible for the smear.
-Not that I'm convinced, but you'll never prove it in a million years. Steve, you'll do what you want, but it can't hurt; he offers you an olive branch - so today like olives!
-I could think of better places to meet her, instead of here. He lives on the whole top floor.
-Joe, give my nephew a drink.
-That's a lollipop that, boy. The kid is only great.
-Went over to Philly yesterday an' seen the folks...it's nice you send them the fifty a month...
-See my mother?
-Thanks for the publicity spread you got the boys for the benefit tomorrow.
-Frank, I think maybe you lied to me.
-Looka, Sidney, you're my own sister's son, but where does that give you the right to call me a liar?
-You told me that your boy was washed up with Susie Hunsecker, didn't you?
-Yeah, and it's the truth, to the best of my knowledge. And, frankly, I'm glad. For Steve's sake, I'm glad, not yours. I manage these boys and I got their best interests at heart. Steve shouldn't get mixed up with no bimbo at his age.
-You told him that?
-When do these hot-headed boys of yours go on the road?
-Coupla weeks. For eight weeks.
-That's a nice tour. All booked? When was Susie around here last?
-Four five nights ago. That's how I know the romance is off. Also Steve's in a very bad mood.
-Listen, Frank, you'd better make sure you're telling me the truth.
-...People catch on quick to such an item. Van Cleve already called me - he's firing the quintet.
-I see Bartha gave you cold tongue for supper. Hey, wait a minute!
-How is dear old J.J. by the way?
-Call him up and ask - he might drop dead with shock.
-You don't know that lunatic yet? Whims - egotistic whims! Like the gag - when you got him for a friend, you don't need an enemy! That's what the fight with Bartha was about. "Leo", I says, "Hunsecker froze me out. So I'm eating humble pie this month - please print me an item."
-And, instead, he printed his heel in your face?
-Friends call me Otis - sometimes Tricky Otis.
-Otis was outraged when I told him Van Cleve was going to fire you. Tell him not to pay any attention to anything you-know-who says about you-know-what. Right, Otis?
-I hate J.J. -- but not that much at this moment...
-Blessings on thee, the both...well... Gotta run now. See you two kids later!
-Well, son, looks like you went out and bought yourself a packet of trouble...
-You've been very kind about it, Mr. Hunsecker. HUNSECKER Give Susie credit for that. I took her word that there was nothing to the smear. Matter of fact, I'll have my say about smears on the show today. That's why I'd like YOUR personal assurance, too.
-Mr. Hunsecker, there's nothing to that smear. You have my sincere word...
-Take it easy, Susie. He wouldn't be much of a man if he didn't understand my concern. Would you, son?
-No, I wouldn't...
-Does he have to be here in our hair?
-Why, has he bothered you before?
-Is it news to you?
-Son, lots of people tell me I'm a gifted man, but I still can't see around corners.
-Just exactly what are you so hot about? I mean, I know it's a difficult thing to be an artist in this crudest of possible worlds, but --
-Nuts! I'm not here as an artist! I'm here as an average Joe, who happens to love your sister Susie!
-Frankly, son, you lost me on that last hill. Just give us the punch line...
-No punch line. Maybe I was just admiring your know-how---yours and Falco's.
-Why do you keep coupling me with Falco?
-I don't take kindly to you and Falco selling me ethics. Who's the injured party here, you?
-Right now you're in no position to ask questions! And your snide remarks---
-Mr. Hunsecker, you've got more twists than a barrel of pretzels.
-You hear that, Susie... Continue please...
-Susie, as always, is free to say anything she thinks. Go on, dear, say exactly what's on your mind, dear.
-Those "dears" sound like daggers. May I suggest that you stop DARING her to speak?
-May I lift my eyebrows? What is this? What are you trying to do?
-I'm trying to get Susie to stand up to you. But your manner is so threatening that she's afraid to speak!
-If looks could kill, I'm dead...
-No, I don't care about you -- you're fantastic. My whole interest, if it's not too late, is in Susie...and how to undo what you've done to her...
-And what have I done to her, besides not buy her a new fur coat lately? Sidney, you were right -- the boy's a dilly.
-Why? Because I don't like the way you toy with human lives? - Your contempt and malice? Because I won't be the accomplice of your sick ego - and the way it's crippled Susie...? You think of yourself - you and your column - you see yourself as a national glory...but to me, and thousands of others like me, you and your slimy scandal,
-But my day with Susie isn't over yet and--
-Susie, you're very much in my thoughts today.
-Why?
-What a question, dear, with that newspaper in your hand...
-Did Sidney tell you about it?
-Not being partial, are you?
-Why are you trembling, dear...?
-It's just as if I've seen a ghost today...
-Then whose fault was it, J.J.? It was someone's fault, wasn't it?
-I wouldn't have called the boy exactly balanced...
-Sidney is a liar!
-Who said Sidney?
-You know, dear, we're drifting apart, you and I, and I don't like that.
-I thought we were talking about Sidney?
-Let me finish, dear. You had your say, now let me have mine...
-I started to say we're drifting apart. A year ago, in your wildest dreams, would you have walked by that door without taking up this situation with me? Today I had to call you in!
-I'm taking up the situation with you now...
-When I'm certain, I'll let you know...
-Susie likes to keep her girlish secrets. But in her heart of hearts I imagine, Dallas, that she fancies you in an uncommon way. Now, what about YOU, son? Not just tom-catting around...I hope?
-Susie, did you know about this accusation...?
-No...
-Susie, I'm sorry if---
-You in a mood, Susie, to run over to Milgrim's later and buy a few new frocks?
-No! NO! Don't touch me!
-Err...the Supreme Court story, I was telling you - Justice Black.
-And I believe that's precisely where I read it, too. You see, J.J., where I get my reputation for being the best-informed man in Washington.
-Now, come, J.J., that's a little too harsh. Anyone seems fair game for you tonight.
-There is some allusion here that escapes me...
-We're friends, Harvey - we go as far back as when you were a fresh kid Congressman, don't we?
-Hello, Harry.
-I just checked "downtown". Quiet everywhere tonight.
-Incidentally, what happened to that doll? - You gave me the item last night. Still alive?
-Yeah. At Bellevue. Still hanging on. But they still don't know if she was pushed.
-Say hello to Sidney Falco. Tickle him - he's been a bad boy tonight. He called you my fat friend.
-Say, that's good - it's nice - in fact, it's APT, Harry!
-Yeah, I got eyes. I put things together.
-Can I come out? No.
-I have to talk to you, alone, J.J., that's why.
-You had something to do for me - you didn't do it.
-Can I come in for a minute?
-Mac! I don't want this man at my table...
-I know Manny Davis.
-Match me, Sidney...
-Why don't you answer the man, Sidalee? He's trying to take you off the hook.
-What, some cheap, gruesome gags?
-You print them, don't you?
-Yes, with your clients' names attached. That's the only reason those poor slobs pay you - to see their names in my column all over the world! Now, as I make it out, you're doing ME a favor!
-I didn't say that, J.J.
-Spahish...that must show he likes "spigs", too.
-You told me you'd break up that romance - when?
-You want something done, J.J., but I doubt if you yourself know what's involved.
-I'm a schoolboy - teach me, teach me.
-Frankly, J.J., I don't think you got the cards to blitz me.
-I don't?
-Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think so...
-Awright, that brings us up to five weeks ago. "Sidney, I got a nasty little problem here." Did I say no? I'm frank to admit - it don't jell as fast as we like... But all of a sudden I CAN'T GET YOU ON THE PHONE NO MORE! WHY?... And why, as of this date, am I frozen out of the column...
-Are you finished?
-No, lemme finish. I DON'T LIKE THIS JOB! That boy is dumb only on matinee days - otherwise he's got a head. And Susan, like you said, she's growing up. Two heads. What I mean, we got a slippery, dangerous problem here!
-Not "we", Sidney, you!
-Correct me if I'm wrong - WE! Because when I'm out on this very slippery limb for you, you have to know what's involved.
-I'll do it, J.J. - don't get me wrong - in for a penny, in for a pound. I'll see it through, but stop beating me around the head. Let me make a living!
-Uh huh.
-When?
-J.J., I want you to get them back their job, Steve and the Quintet.
-I know Steve. No.
-Well, what have I got? Alimony to a pair of tramps? They're of no concern to me. It's you who count, but don't get me wrong - I don't intend to let you break your neck again!
-J.J., you said you want to help me - prove it!
-How?
-Get Steve back his job...please...
-He means that much to you...?
-Yes. With your "prestige" it only takes a minute - ten cents worth of American Tel and Tel.
-You're picking up my lingo, hon.
-Susie, I like this new attitude of yours. You're growing up and I like it! I don't like it when you're limp and dependent, when you're odd and wayward. This gives you a chance for real survival in a very lousy world. Because, don't forget, dear, you won't always have me with you, will you...?
-I'm not sure I can reach him in time.
-I got that boy coming over here. What's so funny?
-With a pocket fulla firecrackers - good.
-I think you loused this up but good. If I can trust my eyes, and I think I can, Susie knows all about your dirty work.
-Can't hurt...
-Can't hurt? I had to get him back his job.
-I like that, too. Look, J.J., we can wrap this up in one neat bundle, addressed to the dumps - to oblivion. We're going great, but please play it my way. I cased this kid. Know his ins and outs...He's fulla juice and vinegar, just begging for some big shot like you to give him a squeeze. Do little Sidney a favor: squeeze! -
-But it's too late. I got him back the job...
-Well he's got her in a tizzy, I'll tell you that!
-Sure, he steams her up - wants her to stand on her own two feet and all that jazz!
-And who's feet is she on now?
-Presumably yours... That's according to St. Dallas.
-What's this boy got that Susie likes?
-Integrity - acute, like indigestion.
-What does that mean - integrity?
-Full of beans, ain't you? But you know that you'll stand or fall by what you're doing now...
-Let's forget cats and dogs and other pseudo-literary remarks--- I'll just lay it on the line! What about that big rumpus in my office today? You were there, Frank! Where, according to St. Dallas, J.J. was responsible for the Elwell smear!
-Don't go wild, Sidney.
-What are you so chipper about? If I put a cross on every one of your mistakes, you'd look like a graveyard!
-But not for anything I did today...
-Are you listening?
-Why do something that would drive them right back into each other's arms? Not to mention that this time Susie would know who shot the arrow...
-She knows now.
-J.J., it's one thing to wear your dog collar...but when it gets to be a noose...I'd rather have my freedom.
-Sidney, I told you -
-I was trying to build her up, not tear her down -
-Talk to her, Sidney...
-Listen with care - this will cost me everything, so you know I'm telling you the truth!
-You're incapable of the truth...
-I know...I know you're the strongest cop in town.
-What's all the rush? You said three o'clock.
-It's nice, Sidney, that you give me this tip...
-- He's got them on him.
-Is that a fact? He's a dilly, ain't he? By the by, what did he have against this boy?
-He goes out with girls.
-Well, I'll be darned. And what does J.J. think he SHOULD do?
-I thought he would.
-That's a question I usually like to ask YOU. Your secretary phoned.
-What about?
-Could this be that boy?
-Bribing me again?
-Who put this item in about the comic? "If there's a more hilarious funny man around than Herbie Temple at the Palace, you'll have to pardon us for not catching the name. We were too busy screaming." Does this Temple have a press agent?
-What's your favorite ribbon to go around your favorite chocolates?
-Don't you ever get messages, Eyelashes? I called you twice.
-I've been up to here. Listen, honey, tell me something. You know Susan Hunsecker...? Has she been in? I mean lately, in the last coupla days...?
-I don't think so.
-You're sure. Find out for me.
-Is Frank D'Angelo around?
-Don't tell me you started a polka with Leo Bartha?
-Avidly. He was staring.
-Staring. Consequently, when he approached me on his way out I wasn't surprised, but I didn't let on.
-He was writing a special Sunday piece on...?
-...cigarette girls... And naturally -
-You were thrilled to be interviewed. Were you "interviewed"?
-In his apartment -
-And where was his wife?
-I don't know - it's a big apartment. But I wasn't interviewed. In fact, I was totally unprepared for what happened.
-We're old friends, Chickie - quit it! A big columnist comes in this room, without his ball-and-chain and you make like a delicatessen counter! What did you think would happen in his house?
-Do you think you could do something, Sidney?
-Do you still keep your key under the mat?
-Rita, say hello to Otis Elwell.
-Back?
-Don't you know who that man is?
-Yeah. Otis Elwell. The columnist.
-Yeah!
-And he's a perfect stranger to me.
-What do you want all of a sudden - Lady Godiva...? Where's my other shoe?
-Don't you think I have any feelings? What am I? A bowl of fruit? A tangerine that peels in a minute?
-Sidney...I...I don't do this sort of thing...
-What sort of thing?
-This sort of thing!
-A girl needs a little romancing before she -
-Next time I'll call in a guy to paint silver stars on the ceiling!
-What would you think of me if -
-Nothing I didn't think of you before.
-That's the third time he's called today.
-He wants me to break a leg?
-No, an arm, he said. I told him you were sure the item would be in Mr. Hunsecker's column in tomorrow's...
-It isn't. I've just seen the early edition.
-But...
-But what?
-That makes five days in a row that Mr. Hunsecker's cut you out of his column.
-Who else phoned?
-The renting agent and the tailor.
-Pay the rent. Let the tailor wait.
-I wish I could help in some way, Sidney.
-Go home, Sally. It's late...
-Yes, but as a new subscriber you're under no obligation to take more than three books. And if you mail the enclosed card within ten days --
-Sidney, I know you by now. Don't do a dance with me...
-You mean you don't want the extra free gift of a colorful giant map of the world???
-So what'll you do if I feel nervous? You'll open your meaty, sympathetic arms...?
-You ought to be used to me by now.
-I'm used to you...
-If that's for me, tear it up!
-Take a top coat.
-What's the matter?
-Did you send my folks in Philly the check...?
-I put a lotta trust in you, Chickie...
-I know you do, Sidney.
-I swear, Sidney, I can't help it - sometimes I wonder what I see in you...
-That's no way to talk...
-Or what you see in me, for that matter...
-Stay down town tonight. Maybe we'll take in a show, etc.
-Where's those glossy prints you promised? Tonight's the latest I can place them -
-I'm feeling too good to fight with you, but that isn't what I said - I said you snoop. For instance, what were you doing around my hotel the other night?
-It's a habit with me. So now I'm briefed. So what?
-Why me...?
-Why not you?
-That's your idea of logic? I tell the Judge I didn't murder the man - the Judge says, "Why not you?"
-Only two men in this town could be responsible for that smear - you or Hunsecker or both.
-Dallas, ask your own manager - he's standing here like a pained wolfhound - Hunsecker and Elwell are enemies to the knife. So how do you get him doing J.J. a favor?
-It is a favor, isn't it?
-You're talking very fast.
-Frank, you don't listen! J.J. just told you to shut your mouth!
-Give him credit---the boy's gall is gorgeous!
-You watch him, Al, I s...s...stutter!
-Temple, I caught your act the other night and -
-Did you now? On which bounce?
-- and I just had to drop by and tell you how great I thought you were.
-No, I don't mind. I'm busy too.
-If there's a funnier man in the world than Herbie Temple at the Palace...uh...pardon us for not catching the name, we were too busy laughing. No, make that 'screaming'. It's sweet of you, J.J., thanks. Probably see you at Twenty One tonight. No, for supper, late. Right. 'Bye...
-Speak to this lad, Al, ... to Mr. Falco.
-And it would cost a pretty penny, huh?
-You're touchy, Sidney - don't be so touchy...
-Feels like a Monday night, don't it...?
-Not to me. Sometimes, the world feels like a cage. Then someone comes along and opens the door...and it's never Monday night again... I wish you and Steve could like each other.
-We stick in each others craw.
-Yes, but why?
-Where do you come off to make a remark like that?
-Do you think J.J. likes Steve...?
-It's given me a big lift to know that some people want me for myself, not just because I'm my brother's sister.
-I hope that J.J. really likes Steve, that it isn't an act.
-It's not my nature, Susie, but I'll talk to you like an uncle...
-Listen, get a good night's sleep - tomorrow's another day. Feeling sorry for yourself won't help.
-I'm sorry about Steve, not myself. I'm even sorry for my brother. To be so lonely, without one real friend in the world - to have to hang on to a worthless rag of a girl like me because she's his only real family -
-And I'm sorry for you, too, Sidney. You're going down with the ship.
-Susie, whatever problems you have with J.J. - I didn't invent them! What're you blaming me for? If you learned to let out your hatred you would be better off!
-Like you?
-Yeah! Like me! I don't choke on my own gall - I fight back! Let THEM choke, not me!
-I'm not a man, Sidney, I'm -
-I know that bit - you're a girl; you need a man to give you strength! So what do you pick such weak sisters for? Don't you know yet that you fight fire with fire, not with tear drops?
-I could almost forgive you if what you did to Steve came from jealousy and love...
-I didn't do anything!
-Don't run away - I was always the man for you! I'm talking to you out of two years of silence - listen to what I say! Inside of six months -
-J.J., if you think -
-Jimmy! This is a coincidence. I am just going -
-I tried to reach you twice -
-What do you do for that hundred a week. Fall out of bed?
-Jimmy, I'm on my way inside right now to talk to Hunsecker. I can promise you -
-Listen, when your band was playing at Roseland -
-No more you don't! What is this - You're showing off for her? They're supposed to hear you in Korea?
-He's intuitive - he knows he's getting fired!
-This is big, you know. Very big! Let's go out later, drink some firewater. With the boys. Fred can call Millie and -
-You haven't told him yet...
-Steve, my brother isn't as bad as he's painted. He isn't perfect, but -
-His stooge, Falco, is around - I saw him walk in. He's been spying on me for weeks, Susie.
-Darling, I don't care - really I don't. Sidney'd had a secret crush on me for years, but nothing we do is his business -
-But he could be reporting back to your brother, couldn't he?
-I have a message for you; I love you. May I dedicate the next number to you?...And the next, and the next. Every Sunday I'll buy you a new bonnet -
-If the stores are open -
-And on Monday, I'll take it off and stroke your light brown hair and -
-And on Tuesday - Hasenpfeffer. STEVE How do you think I realized I love you?
-I made you write a beautiful song...
-I get the feeling, Falco, that you're always snooping around...
-Hello, Steve. I'm glad you could come.
-Why did you call me?
-Steve...what you tried to do today...you tried to take me up on a high mountain...I couldn't go all the way...I failed you... Will you forgive me? Have I lost you, Steve? Have I...?
-Well, maybe I was wrong, too... But there's no doubt, Susie, that we have to face some serious things...
-No one's ever stood up to my brother the way you did.
-But you didn't do much about it, Susie. You walked out, and there I was...solo...and not too good at that.
-I just didn't think that I could antagonize him, Steve -- for OUR sake, I mean.
-Steve, I...
-No! I'm saying that for your sake you have to make a clean break with your brother!
-But, please, Steve, please - one step at a time! I was born only yesterday!...
-Steve, I feel exhausted...what do you want me to do?
-Not what you're doing now. At least don't ask me - don't ask him. You're fighting for your life! What do YOU want to do?
-You going to work all day?
-... but the output went to shit after three seconds. I'm thinking now it's the way I'm matrixing the command hierarchies...
-You need a break. You'll see it clear when you come back.
-I can't
-Miles, it's Sunday. You promised to take the kids to Raging Waters today.
-Baby, this thing is going to blow 'em all away. It's a neural-net process --
-I know. You told me. It's a neural-net processor. It thinks and learns like we do. It's superconducting at room temperature. Other computer are pocket calculators by comparison. But why is that so goddamn important, Miles? I really need to know, 'cause I feel like I'm going crazy here, sometimes.
-Imagine a jetline with a pilot that never makes a mistake, never gets tired, never shows up to work with a hangover. Meet the pilot.
-But I thought... aren't we changing things? I mean... right now? Changing the way it goes?
-Please... let... the kids... go...
-Do you know about the chip?
-What chip?
-They told us not to ask where they got it. I thought... Japan... hell, I don't know. I didn't want to know.
-Those lying motherfuckers!
-We should abort.
-Do you have bandages?
-My God.
-Look, whatever you want me to do, I'll do. I just want my kids to have a chance to grow up, okay?
-No one must follow your work.
-No good.
-Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are a terminator, right?
-Yes. Cyberdyne Systems, Model 101.
-Holy shit... you're really real! I mean... whoah! You're, uh... like a machine underneath, right... but sort of alive outside?
-I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton.
-This in intense. Get a grip, John. Okay, uh... you're not here to kill me... I figured that part out for myself. So what's the deal?
-My mission is to protect you.
-Yeah? Who sent you?
-So this other guy? He's a terminator too, right, like you?
-Not like me. A T-1000. Advanced prototype. A mimetic polyalloy.
-What does that mean?
-Liquid metal.
-Radical.
-Where we going?
-We have to leave the city, immediately. And avoid the authorities.
-Can I stop by my house?
-Negative. The T-1000 will definitely try to reacquire you there.
-You sure?
-I'm right here. I'm fine. What's the dog's name?
-I need a minute here, okay? You're telling me it can imitate anything it touches?
-Like it could disguise itself as anything... a pack of cigarettes?
-Well, why doesn't become a bomb or something to get me?
-We spent a lot of time in Nicaragua... places like that. For a while she was with this crazy ex-Green Beret guy, running guns. Then there were some other guys. She'd shack up with anybody she could learn from. So then she could teach me how to be this great military leader. Then she gets busted and it's like... sorry kid, your mom's a
-Negative. The T-1000's highest probability for success now would be to copy Sarah Connor and wait for you to make contact with her.
-Typically, the subject being copied is terminated.
-TERMINATED!? Shit! Why didn't you tell me? We gotta right now!
-Negative. She is not a mission priority.
-Oww! Why'd you do that?
-You have to do what I say?!
-That is one of my mission parameters.
-Jesus... you were gonna kill that guy!
-Listen to me, very carefully, okay? You're not a terminator any more. Alright? You got that? You can't just go around killing people!
-Why?
-Whattaya mean, why? 'Cause you can't!
-Why?
-Now remember, you're not gonna kill anyone, right?
-Swear.
-What?
-Everything.
-Does it hurt?
-How long do you live? I mean, last?
-Affirmative.
-It someone comes off to you with an attitude, you say "eat me"... if you wanna shine them on, it's "Hasta la vista, baby".
-"Hasta la vista, baby"?
-Yeah, or "later, dickwad." Or if someone gets upset you say "chill out." Like that. Or you can do combinations.
-Chill out, dickwad.
-That's great! See, you're getting it.
-And that's another thing. You could lighten up a bit, yourself. This severe routine is getting old. Smile once in a while.
-Smile?
-We're not gonna make it, are we? People, I mean.
-Excellent.
-Not even of dying?
-No.
-You don't feel any emotion about it one way or the other?
-Torque wrench please.
-Here. I wish I coulda met my real dad.
-You will.
-Why do you cry?
-You mean people? I don't know. We just cry. You know. When it hurts.
-Pain causes it?
-Uh-unh, no, it's different... It's when there's nothing wrong with you but you hurt anyway. You get it?
-Alriight!! My man!
-"No fate." No fate but what we make. My father told her this... I mean I made him memorize it, up in the future, as a message to her -- Never mind. Okay, the whole thing goes "The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves."
-She intends to change the future somehow.
-I guess, yeah -- Oh shit!!
-Dyson.
-This is tactically dangerous.
-Drive faster.
-The T-1000 has the same files that I do. It could anticipate this move and reacquire you at Dyson's house.
-I don't care. We've gotta stop her.
-Killing Dyson might actually prevent the war.
-I'll deal with the police.
-Remember what I said, you can't...
-Drive for a minute.
-We don't have much time.
-Is it dead?
-Will it melt in there?
-No!
-I'm sorry, John.
-No, no no!! It'll be okay. Stay with us!
-I have to go away, John.
-It must end here... or I am the future.
-Your foster parents are kinda dicks, right?
-Easy money!
-So she's pretty cool, huh?
-Actually, no, she's a complete psycho. That's why she's up at Pescedero. She tries to blow up a computer factory, but she got shot and arrested.
-No shit?
-Out of the way, John!
-No! Don't kill him!
-It, John. Not him. It.
-We're better off by ourselves.
-But it's the only proof we have to the future... about the war and all that.
-I don't trust it! These things are hard to kill, John, believe me, I know. We may never have this opportunity again.
-Yeah. Drag, huh?
-Mom? You okay?
-I couldn't... oh, God. You... came here... to stop me?
-It's okay. It'll by okay. We'll figure it out.
-I love you, John. I always have.
-Yeah. Right. How were you supposed to know? Fucking men... all you know how to do is thrust into the world with your... fucking ideas and your weapons. Did you know that every gun in the world is named after a man? Colt, Browning, Smith, Thompson, Kalashnikov... all men. Men built the hydrogen bomb, not women... men like you thought it up. You're so
-I got it. Piece of cake.
-Ready to rock?
-John, get out of the way!!
-I know. This is a dream, Sarah.
-I love you. I always will.
-They took him from me.
-It's John who's the target now. You have to protect him. He's wide open.
-I know!
-Don't quit, Sarah. Our son need you.
-I know, but I'm not as strong as I'm supposed to be. I can't do it. I'm screwing up the mission.
-Kyle, don't go!
-It has helped me a lot to have a goal, something to look forward to.
-You said I could be transferred to the minimum security wing and have visitors if I showed improvement in six months. Well, it's been six months, and I was looking forward to seeing my son.
-But you've told me on many occasions about how you crushed one in a hydraulic press.
-If I had, there would have been some evidence. They would have found something at the factory.
-So what do you think, Doctor? I've shown a lot of improvement, haven't I?
-You broke my arm!
-You're already dead, Silberman. Everybody here dies. You know I believe that. So don't fuck with me!
-This T-1000... what happens when you shoot it?
-Can it be destroyed?
-You look like handmade shit.
-I'll bet. Makes you a more efficient killer, right?
-My CPU is a neural-net processor... a learning computer. But Skynet presets the switch to "read-only" when we are sent out alone.
-Doesn't want you thinking too much, huh?
-The man most directly responsible is Miles Bennet Dyson, Director of Special Projects at Cyberdyne Systems Corporation.
-Why him?
-In a few months he creates a revolutionary type of mircoprocessor.
-In three years Cyberdyne will become the largest supplier of military computer systems. All stealth bombers are upgraded with Cyberdyne computers, becoming fully unmanned, Afterward, the fly with a perfect operational record.
-Uh huh, great. Then those fat fucks in Washington figure, what the hell, let a computer run the whole show, right?
-Basically. The Skynet funding bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn, at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. eastern time, August 29. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
-Yes. It launches its ICBMs against their targets in Russia.
-Why attack Russia?
-Because Skynet knows the Russian counter-strike will remove its enemies here.
-Jesus. How much do you know about Dyson?
-I have detailed files.
-The CPU from the first terminator.
-I must be destroyed.
-Is it safe for them here?
-It's finally over.
-Are you afraid?
-... it's... like a giant strobe light, burning right through my eyes... but somehow I can still see. Look, you know the dream's the same every night, why do I have to --
-It's not just a dream. It's real, you moron! I know the date is happens!!
-I'm sure it feels very real to you --
-On August 29th 1997 it's going to feel pretty fucking real to you, too! Anybody not wearing number two million sunblock in gonna have a real bad day, get it?
-Relax now, Sarah --
-Where do you stand on all this?
-On all what?
-On Furtwängler.
-You represent the United States now. We have a moral duty to be just and we have to be seen to be just.
-Major Arnold believes he has a moral duty, too.
-That's because you had a proper upbringing.
-That's right. I was raised very strictly. So don't speak before you are spoken to!
-Oh! And don't wave your hands about!
-Respect your elders and your betters!
-And no elbows on the table!
-Eating is eating... and...
-And talking is talking! Well, I think we better get on.
-What does he mean, too correct?
-Don't see me to my door, there's no need.
-Yesterday I read that Furtwängler was asked to lead the New York Philharmonic back in '36, Toscanini suggested it. Had he accepted, he would have become the most celebrated conductor in America.
-When he made his decision, he couldn't have known everything. Especially not the way people like you do, who've returned from exile and feel that you have a right to pass judgement. Because you are blameless, you think you know best who is a sinner and who deserves forgiveness. But you have no idea how people lived here.
-When he met Hitler at his birthday and shook hands with him, was he pleased?
-'Please remember that Dr. Furtwängler risked his life to help anyone who asked him. I personally testify to having seen literally hundreds of people lined up outside his dressing room after concerts to ask for his help. He never turned anyone away. After he heard me play... I am a violinist... he gave me money because I was unable to feed myself or my
-Lieutenant Wills reporting to Major Arnold. Sir.
-For Chrissakes I hate that shit, cut it out.
-I'm very sorry.
-I'm Steve. What's your name?
-David. David Wills. I'm your liaison officer with the Allied Kommandatura Cultural Affairs Committee. Sir.
-Sounds a lot of run. So they sent the big guns to check up on me. We recruiting children now?
-I guess so, sir.
-Where you from, David?
-I guess you admire musicians.
-Some.
-You think a whole orchestra, what, a hundred and forty or so guys, could be orchestrated?
-I guess it's possible.
-So, what does the Russki want?
-Colonel Dymshitz asked specially to see you.
-What the hell are they doing?
-David, need to ask you something. You heard this rumour the British found something called the Hinkel Archive?
-Yes.
-So what is it?
-The British occupy the building where this guy, Hinkel, ran the Nazi Ministry of Culture and it seems they've... they've discovered his secret archive.
-What's that mean?
-I don't know, but the British are excited about it, I know that. The rumour is Hinkel kept a file on every artist working in the Third Reich.
-Jeez. And you think the British'll share it with their Allies?
-Major Richards said he'd call to let us know.
-Okay, better question the next witness. I bet you a bottle of French champagne he tells us the baton story inside ten minutes.
-Five minutes.
-You have a question for Helmuth, David?
-Yes, David?
-You see, Wilhelm, I'm talking about ordinary, everyday reasons. Which is why I want to discuss your private life. How many illegitimate children do you have?
-Major, I don't see how this line of questioning could...
-Isn't it true that before every concert you got a woman in your dressing room and gave her the old conductor's baton, isn't that true?
-Major, this is deeply offensive and repugnant!
-You bet.
-and totally irrelevant.
-Major, that's not a good argument. If Dr. Furtwängler did indeed enjoy all these... these privileges, he enjoyed them because of who he is and what he is. That's true of any leading artist in any country in the world.
-What?
-Your manner.
-Can I ask you a favour, Major?
-Yeah.
-When you question him again, could you treat him with more respect?
-With more what? More what?
-Major, he may just be the greatest conductor of this century and that merits respect.
-David, I don't understand a thing about you. You're a Jew. Are you a Jew?
-Yes, I'm a Jew. But I like to think first I'm a human being.
-A human being, oh, good, I'm relieved, I thought you were going to say you were a music lover. This man, this great artist has made anti-Semitic remarks like you wouldn't believe. I got letters.
-Major, show me someone who hasn't made an anti-Semitic remark and I'll show you the gates of paradise.
-Hello, Major, my name is Dymshitz. I'm glad to see you.
-Colonel. Pleasure.
-So, Major, tell me, have you questioned Dr. Furtwängler?
-Not yet.
-I was in Vienna. I had with me an Austrian chauffeur, Max his name was, he spent time in the camps. We were looking at these Viennese cleaning up the bomb damage, scavenging for rotting food, butt ends, anything. I said, 'To think a million of these people came out to welcome Adolf on the day he entered the city, a million of 'em,
-Furtwängler's in a different category.
-A great artist will have great privileges in a Russian zone.
-Colonel. He had no sisters, no brothers, only a lot of love affairs.
-Anyway, Major, why should he leave his country, his mother tongue, his family, his history, his past, his future, just because now, suddenly, there is a dictatorship? Why?
-But what... before that turns rotten... What if they surround the space with barbed wire, Colonel?
-Don't talk about things you know nothing about. He was in a dictatorship!
-Yeah, yeah, art and politics, yeah, yeah, I heard all about that.
-In a dictatorship, art belongs to the Party. If you want to be a conductor, you have to have an orchestra. And you can only get an orchestra if you have contact with the power. All over the world you need the right contacts and you have to make the right compromises.
-This is what I'm saying. He must have had Party contacts.
-And suddenly, Steve, suddenly you notice that they like you. They honour you, suddenly you are the director of the best museum in the world, for example.
-What museum?
-I'm sorry. Museum? Not... I said orchestra. Sorry. Believe me. Help me, Steve. You say you answer for someone from high up. I, too, have orders from high up. Very high up. We want Furtwängler. I'll give you in return the whole orchestra, four, five conductors. I need him, Steve.
-No can do.
-Let Furtwängler go. Please.
-I have a duty.
-I'm gonna get that fucking bandleader, Colonel. No deal. No fucking deal.
-You live here, in Berlin?
-Yes.
-You do shorthand and typing?
-Okay, let's see. How long were you in the camp for?
-Three months.
-Says here because of your father. What's that mean?
-My father was one of the officers in the plot against Hitler. They arrested the plotters and their families.
-Your mother, too.
-Yes. She suffered longer. She was in Ravensbruck.
-Steve.
-Think you can get me any of that?
-Oh yes, Major, I have recordings of all his symphonies. I kept them safe during the bombing. My favourite is the Seventh Symphony.
-Mine's the Eleventh.
-But... he only wrote nine, Major.
-I'm kidding, Emmi. What about a record player? You have that, too?
-No. Ours was damaged.
-What's in those files?
-The names of the members of the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra since 1934 together with their questionnaires. Major, what am I to tell Dr. Furtwängler?
-I'm sorry.
-Major, Major... he's here ...
-Bruckner's Seventh, Major.
-Do you know where the Adagio begins?
-Of course.
-I'm sorry but I have to leave. I'll find other work. You'll have to get someone else, that's all.
-What is this, Emmi?
-I can't do this. It's not right.
-What's not right?
-I have been questioned by the Gestapo just like that. Just like you questioned him.
-Emmi, stop! I want to show you something. Let me show you something and then if you want to leave, you can leave, please please. His friends, they did this. And he gave them birthday concerts.
-But he had no idea, a lot of people had no idea. I only realised what was really going on when I got arrested.
-If he had no idea, why did the Jews need saving? This is the question, Emmi, to all Germans: Why did the Jews need saving in this country? Why, if people had no idea?
-I want you to understand why you're here. You're automatically banned from public life under Control Council Directive No 24. We're here to look into your case before you appear in front of the Tribunal for Artists of the Denazification Commission. You understand that?
-I have already been cleared by a Denazification Tribunal in Austria.
-What they do in Austria doesn't interest me one little bit. Okay? I have your questionnaire here, Gustav Heinrich Ernst Martin Wilhelm Furtwängler, born Berlin, January 1886. Orchestral conductor. And you say here you were never a member of the Nazi Party.
-Could you tell us about being made a Prussian Privy Councillor. How did that happen to a non-Party member?
-I received a telegram from Hermann Goering informing me that he had made me a Privy Councillor. I was not given the opportunity either to accept or refuse. After the dreadful events of November 1938, the violent attacks on the Jews, I stopped using the title.
-What about Vice-President of the Chamber of Music, you used that title didn't you? But then I suppose you had no choice there either, because I suppose Dr. Goebbels just sent you a telegram saying, Dear Mr. Vice-President.
-I don't think Dr. Goebbels sent me a telegram. I was simply told. In a letter, I believe. I don't remember exactly.
-Goebbels and Goering were sure heaping honours on you. One makes you a Privy Councillor, the other makes you Vice-President of the Chamber of Music, and you weren't even a member of the Party, how do you explain that?
-Then why did you conduct at one of their Nuremberg rallies?
-I did not conduct at at the rally, I conducted on the evening before the rally.
-That sounds like the small print in one of our insurance policies, Wilhelm. And what about April 19, 1942? The eve of Hitler's fifty- third birthday, the big celebration; you conducted for Hitler, didn't you? Was that in keeping with your view that art and politics have nothing to do with each other?
-That... that was a different matter, I... I was tricked.
-How come?
-I made no deal!
-I don't buy that.
-I keep hearing you helped a lot of Jews to escape. How did you do that?
-I don't remember in detail, there were so many.
-Did you call someone you knew?
-I may have, as... as I said, I simply don't remember.
-Or maybe you called Goebbels or Goering? You were so close you were in the same shithouse as them.
-May I ask a question?
-Sure.
-When will my case be heard by the Tribunal?
-Your guess is as good as mine.
-I need to work. I need to make my living. I live off the generosity of friends...
-Tough, tough!
-Then why is it, please, that another conductor who was actually a member of the Party, who used to play the Horst Wessel before his concerts, has already been cleared and is working again while I have to wait and wait and wait?
-I don't know, he wasn't my case. Why did you escape to Switzerland just before the war ended?
-It was because I learned that the Gestapo was about to arrest me.
-Why were they going to arrest you?
-I believe it was because of another letter I'd written to Goebbels lamenting the decline of musical standards due to racial policies.
-So, how did you learn that the Gestapo was out to get you?
-During an enforced hour-long interval because of a power failure at a concert here in Berlin, Albert Speer, the Minister of Armaments, said to me, 'You look very tired Dr. Furtwängler, you should go abroad for a while.' I knew exactly what he meant.
-You sure knew a lot of people in high places.
-It would be truer to say, I think, that a lot of people in high places knew me.
-You were real close to all of them, to Adolf, to Hermann, to Joseph, to Baldur, and now Albert, So, let's hear the truth, let's come clean. What was your Party number?
-I have a list of names here, people in your profession, who got out in '33. Bruno Walter, Otto Klemperer, Arnold Schoenberg, Max Reinhardt...
-They were Jews, they had to leave. They were right to leave. I could not leave my country in her deepest misery. After all, I am a German. I... I stayed in my homeland. Is that my sin in your eyes?
-Steve Arnold...
-I've got to hand it to the British, David. You know what those guys are? Decent. Tell me, Herr Dr. Furtwängler, do you know Hans Hinkel?
-Yes, a despicable human being. He was in the Ministry of Culture. His job was to get rid of Jews in the arts.
-Yup, that's him, that's the guy. You know what else the little creep did? He kept files, close on 250,000 files. And you know what's in those files?
-Certainly not, but I knew he had informers everywhere. Even in my orchestra there was someone
-Who?
-I wasn't told. I just knew it.
-How?
-I was warned.
-Who warned you?
-Goering. Because Hinkel was working for Goebbels.
-What did Goering say?
-He told me to be careful as one of Goebbels' men was watching me. He read a report on me - everything I said was quoted word by word.
-It is now nine o'clock precisely. I do not intend to be kept waiting again.
-If it's too hot, open your tie.
-I wish to say something.
-When I last saw you, I was unprepared. I did not know what to expect. In these past weeks, I have been thinking more carefully and making some notes. You have to understand who I am and what I am. I am a musician and I believe in music. I am an artist and I believe in art. Art in general, and music, in
-And what was that?
-Maintain liberty, humanity and justice.
-Gee, that's a thing of beauty, honest to God, a real thing of beauty. I'm going to try to remember that. Liberty, humanity and justice. Beautiful. But you used the word 'naive'. Are you now saying you think you were wrong? That art and politics can't be separated?
-I believe art and politics should be separate, but that they weren't kept separate I learned to my cost.
-And when did you first learn that - when you sent the telegram? Was that the surrender signal, the waving of the white flag?
-What telegram?
-'Happy birthday, dear Adolf, love Wilhelm.' Or words to that effect. That sounds to me like you were dropping on your knees and saying, 'Okay, Adolf, you win. You're the number one man. Have a swell party.'
-I have no idea what you're talking about.
-The birthday greetings you sent to your old pal, Adolf Hider.
-I never sent him any birthday greetings or any other kind of greetings.
-Think carefully, Wilhelm... maybe not in your own name, but as Privy Councillor or Vice-President.
-You won't find it because no such telegram exists.
-Well, I tried, you got to admit I tried. I thought I might just trap you there, Wilhelm, but David here was too quick for me. Smart move, David, smart move. No, I don't have the telegram, but I know it exists. And I want you to know, Wilhelm, we're going to keep looking for it because I believe you sent it.
-Then you are wrong.
-Art and politics, yeah, art and politics. Let's look at that. You and the Berlin Philharmonic toured the Third Reich, played in countries the Nazis had conquered. Are you saying that conducting in occupied territories from 1939 on wasn't a commercial for Adolf and all he stood for?
-We never, never officially represented the regime when we played abroad. We always performed as a private ensemble. As I think I already told you, I was a freelance conductor.
-You know something? You should've written our insurance policies for us because you got more exclusion clauses than Double Indemnity. What do you imagine people thought? The Berlin Philharmonic's taken over by Doctor Goebbels and his Propaganda Ministry but Wilhelm is a freelance, so art and politics are now entirely separate? Is that what you believed ordinary people thought?
-have no idea what ordinary people thought.
-No!
-No, because I had only one intention. My only intention whatever I did was to show that music means more than politics.
-Tell me about von der Null.
-Von der Null?
-Yes, von der Null.
-Von der Null?
-How long's this going to go on, Wilhelm? I say von der Null, you say von der Null, I say von der Null, you say von der Null, we could go on all day. You know who von der Null is, don't you? Edwin von der Nuell, music critic.
-Yes, I know who he is.
-Isn't it true that because he gave you bad reviews and praised this young guy, Von Karajan, called him a goddamn miracle, said he was a better conductor than you, then you had von der Null conscripted into the army and no one's heard from him since?
-That's an outrageous lie!
-You sure you didn't call one of your close buddies and say, God in heaven, did you see what that guy von der Null wrote about me? The greatest conductor on earth. I want him out the way. He had the nerve to accuse me I am not playing enough modern music. Send him to Stalingrad. Isn't that what you did? You don't like
-Well. Once he said he'd read what this man wrote about me.
-And what did he say?
-He said, 'Don't mind him. His job is to criticise, your job is to conduct.'
-And what happened to Von der Nul?
-I have no idea.
-You've really no idea? I'll tell you what happened. He died in Stalingrad.
-I'm sorry.
-Please stop playing these games with me. Why you should bring up the name of another conductor is beyond my understanding.
-I'll tell you why. You remember we talked about you playing for Hitler's birthday? And you told me that Goebbels got to your doctors first, that you were tricked?
-Come on, admit it. K worried you, didn't he? He always worried you. In 1942, he's thirty-four years old, you're already fifty-six. And Goebbels and Goering keep saying to you, 'If you don't do it, little K will.' Never mind art and politics and symbols and airy-fairy bullshit about liberty, humanity and justice because I don't care how great you are. It's the oldest
-This is absolute nonsense!
-Well, I'm just beginning to develop my theme. Isn't that what you call it in classical music, developing your theme? Okay, so they played on your insecurity. That's human, understandable. But, there is one guy who doesn't like little K as much as he likes you - yeah, the number one man your old pal, Adolf. He thinks you're the greatest, and when he
-I have illegitimate children.
-What?
-I said I have illegitimate children. I don't know how many.
-Stop this, please, stop this now!
-No, I'm not going to stop it. Hitler himself offered you a beautiful house and a personal bomb shelter.
-I absolutely refused the house and the bomb shelter.
-Okay, Wilhelm, go home now. Go home and think about these past twelve years.
-I don't understand what you mean.
-Everybody says what a great benefactor you were to the Jews. But-- I have things here you said and wrote. Listen to this: 'The Jew composer Schonberg is admired by the Jewish International.' And what about this: 'Jewish musicians lack a genuine affinity with our music.' 'Jewish musicians are good businessmen with few scruples, lacking roots.' You deny you said these things?
-Those attitudes do not exist in me.
-I believe that. But just answer the question, don't give me explanations.
-Do you know what that is?
-Of course I know what that is.
-Okay, so what is it?
-Bruckner's Seventh. The Adagio.
-How can I know such a thing?
-Have you ever smelled burning flesh? I smelt it four miles away. Four miles away, I smelt it. Have you ever seen the gas chambers, the crematoria? Have you seen the mounds of rotting corpses? You talk to me about culture, art and music? You putting that in the scales, Wilhelm? You setting culture, art and music against the millions put to death by
-I love my country, I believe in music, what was I to do?
-Helmuth Alfred Rode. Second violinist since 1935. What's it mean, second violinist?
-Good, and according to your questionnaire, Helmuth, you never joined the Nazi Party.
-Is it true you're going to interview Dr. Furtwängler today?
-I'll ask the questions, Helmuth.
-Oh, we didn't play for his birthday, we played the evening before - it was the 19th of April not the 20th.
-Do you know Hans Hinkel?
-Do I know Hans Hinkel?
-That's what I asked.
-Do I know Hans Hinkel?
-You seem to understand the question, now how about answering it?
-I hear the British have his... his archive, files, records.
-Do you know what's in this archive?
-Major.
-Helmuth.
-Guess what I am holding in my hand. You like guessing games?
-It's Dr. Furtwängler's baton, which I stole.
-The one he kept in his right hand. Yes, you remember.
-Yes, you remember.
-Show me.
-Show you?
-Yeah, show me, I want to see you do it. Pretend I'm Adolf. You're the maestro, and you have the baton in your right hand, but you give me the salute just the same.
-Not here, Major, there are people, if anybody should see... please, please, Major...
-And I see what you mean. You nearly poked my eyes out.
-Exactly. Replaces the baton, gives Steve the case.
-Great catch, kid. The boy runs off.
-You usually don't work on Sunday, Major?
-All in the cause of humanity, Helmuth. Or should I call you one- zero-four-nine-three-three-one?
-What?
-Was a member of...? Speak up?
-I was a member of the Communist Party. I was a communist. That's what Hinkel had over me. He knew everything. He held that over me. That's how he made me co-operate.
-Oh, I see, he made you co-operate. And now are you a communist again?
-I can give you freedom of movement, freedom to work, freedom, Helmuth. But I need something in return.
-Major, we're discussing a man of genius, I don't want...
-The only thing I know is he's an anti-Semite.
-I've remembered something else...
-Yeah?
-Furtwängler sent Hitler a telegram for his birthday.
-He did?
-One of your people told me.
-Yes. A corporal. US Army. A Jew. He said he'd seen the telegram in the Chancellery.
-But I need documentary proof. You know of anything like that?
-There's a rumour... I don't know if it's true or not... but ask him about von der Null.
-Never heard of him, who is he?
-Edwin von der Null. Music critic. He gave Furtwängler terrible reviews while he raved about Herbert von Karajan.
-Who's he?
-Also a conductor. Very brilliant. Young. Von der Null called him 'The Miracle von Karajan'. Furtwängler was outraged and they say he had von der Null conscripted into the army. The same thing happened to another critic. True or not, it's not such a bad idea. Critics give you bad reviews, you have them sent to the Russian front. But if you really want
-The Miracle Kid.
-And ask him about his private life.
-Goebbels, yes, Josef Goebbels said, 'There's not a single filthy Jew left in Germany on whose behalf Dr. Furtwängler has not intervened.' No, no one could have been less of a Nazi than Dr. Furtwängler.
-But this was the same guy who conducted for Adolf on his birthday.
-Oh! The evening before, I see...
-Yes, Dr. Furtwängler was absolutely clear about this: politics and art must be kept separate.
-You ever seen Adolf Hitler's eyes when he was making a speech? I've seen 'em on films.
-Yes.
-Was looking at Furtwängler like that?
-I don't know what you mean, Major.
-So, you never heard of him.
-Nope.
-Do you know who Arturo Toscanini is?
-Sure.
-He's as big as Toscanini, maybe even bigger. In this neck of the woods, he's probably Bob Hope and Betty Grable rolled into one.
-You were in insurance before the war.
-Right. Claims assessor.
-Conscientious, determined, dogged.
-They said I was dogged?
-Well, they say here that when you went on a case, you stayed on it. Now we can't take every Nazi in this country to trial, although I would like to; it's an impossibility. So we're going for the big boys in industry, education, law, culture.
-Like this bandleader.
-Rudolf Otto Werner. Wind section since 1936. What instrument did you play?
-First oboe.
-I have your questionnaire here. It says you were never a member of the Nazi Party.
-No, I was never a Nazi, I have no interest in politics, I'm a musician -
-Dr. Furtwängler is a great musician. He actively opposed the Nazis and later on he helped many Jews to escape.
-Then how do you explain him being made a Prussian Privy Councillor?
-It was Hermann Goering. I was told he just made the maestro his Privy Councillor, no questions asked. Although Dr. Furtwängler stood up to him. And to Dr. Goebbels.
-He also conducted for Hitler, didn't he?
-Yes, that's true, but he refused to give the Nazi salute. He kept his baton in his right hand. In Hitler's presence. That was a brave act...
-Brave? To celebrate Hitler's birthday with some heroic piece by Wagner but without the Nazi salute? Bravo.
-It was Beethoven's Ninth.
-Yes, Chuck?
-Mission control to Chuck, come in...
-Aren't I worth waiting for?
-Not really. Do you think you can get here on time if I put you on the floor as a waitress?
-I don't know. I kinda had my heart set on being a cashier the rest of my life.
-The pay's the same but you'll make more in tips.
-Mmm. Same schedule's okay.
-Alright!
-Can you handle it?
-Here you go. You're a Bob's Girl now. Nancy will check you out.
-Anything else?
-A phased plasma pulse-laser in the forty watt range...
-The Uzi 9 millimeter.
-Any one of them's ideal for home defense. Which'll it be?
-You can't to that...
-I had him hooked. He was just about to ask me out. I could tell.
-That guy's a jerk. I did you a favor.
-What do you think?
-Great.
-You're a big help.
-Alright, the beige one.
-I hate the beige one.
-Not lately. Did you check messages?
-That bum. So what if he has a Porsche, he can't treat you like that...it's Friday night for crissakes.
-I'm going to a movie, kiddo. See ya'. You and Matt have a good time.
-I haven't seen you in here lately, Mr. Miller.
-What's it to ya?
-You must have a girlfriend.
-That's none of your business.
-Compared to me she is. How come you're not at the cash anymore? They catch ya steal- ing?
-Do you understand?
-Yes. Don't hurt me.
-This is a mistake. I haven't done anything.
-But outside, it's living human tissue. Flesh, skin, hair...blood. Grown for the cyborgs.
-Look, Reese, I know you want to help, but...
-Pay attention. The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy. But these are new. They look human. Sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot. I had to wait 'til he moved on you before I could zero him.
-Hey, I'm not stupid, y'know. They can't build anything like that yet.
-So, it's from the future, is that right?
-One possible future. Four your point of view. I don't know the tech stuff.
-And you're from the future too?
-Just let me go.
-There's so much...
---everythingis gone. Just gone. There were survivors. Here. There. Nobody knew who started it. It was the machines.
-I don't understand...
-Didn't see the war. I was born after, in the ruins. Grew up there. Starving. Hiding from the H-K's.
-The what?
-You cold?
-Freezing.
-Reese...you got a first name?
-Kyle.
-Kyle, what's it like when you go through time?
-I caught one, back there.
-We gotta get you to a doctor.
-It's okay. Forget it.
-This is gonna make me puke. Talk about something.
-What?
-What's he like?
-You trust him. He's got that strength. You'd die in a second for John.
-Well, at least I know what to name him. I don't suppose you'd know who the father is? So I don't tell him to get lost when I meet him.
-John never said much about him. He dies. Even before the war...
-Stop! I don't want to know. Hold still. So...it was John that ordered you here?
-I volunteered.
-You volunteered?
-I'm sure.
-Ow! No, it's okay. It's better tight.
-And anyway, what do I know about guerrilla warfare?
-You'll learn.
-Look, Reese, I didn't ask for this honor and I don't want it. Any of it.
-Good field-dressing.
-Sleep. It'll be light soon.
-Okay. Talk some more.
-About what?
-Bag some Z's?
-Thanks a lot.
-That's where we're going.
-Look. I found it. Isn't that it? Cyber Dynamics Corporation?
-What about it?
-Didn't you say that they're going to develop this revolutionary new thing...
-Molecular-memory.
-Whatever...they become the hotshot computer guys so they get the job to build El Computer Grande...Skynet...for the government. Right?
-Well, we're gonna uninvent the bastard. Eighty-six it. We'll blow up the place...burn it down. Something.
-Tactically dangerous. We lay low.
-Reese. Think it through. We can prevent the war. Nobody else is gonna do it. If we go to anybody official we wind up back in jail and then that walking cuisinart has got us again. We have to so it ourselves.
-That's not my mission.
-Let's go. Time to move out.
-Kyle?
-Is this enough?
-I'm dying for a shower. You could use one too. And we'd better check that bandage.
-What's that?
-Make sure there's none on the threads, like this. Now screw the end-cap on...very gently.
-That's good. Now, seven more like that while I make fuses.
-I was thinking, there's so much I've got to show you when we get through this. It's mind boggling, the pos- sibilities...Disneyland, the beach, movies...matinees with popcorn and foot-long hot dogs...
-Hot dogs?
-I want to buy you a hot dog so bad,Kyle...all the things you've never seen and done. You're here, but wherever you go, and whatever you touch, you bring the war with you.
-My whole life has been combat.
-I want it to be over for you.
-Not possible.
-He'll find us, won't he?
-Probably. Sarah, if I get zeroed...
-Don't say that.
-If I do, you have to get away, disappear without a trace. Different country, different name, everything. In case they send another one.
-It'll never be over, will it? Look at me, I'm shaking. Some legend, huh? You must be pretty disappointed.
-Kyle, the women in your time...what were they like?
-Good fighters.
-That's not what I meant. Was there someone special?
-Someone?
-A girl. You know.
-So much pain.
-Pain can be controlled. You disconnect it.
-And so you feel nothing.
-It's better that way.
-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said...
-I bet you're ticklish.
-What are you doing?
-I don't think I like this.
-Sarah.
-What are you doing?
-So. You're a soldier. Fighting for whom?
-With the One Thirty Second under Perry, from '21 to '27--
-And who was the enemy?
-SKYNET. A computer defense system built for SAC-NORAD by Cyber Dynamics. A modified Series 4800.
-I see. And this...computer, thinks it can win by killing the mother of its enemy, kill- ing him, in effect, before he is even conceived? A sort of retroactive abortion?
-...it had no choice. The defensive grid was smashed. We'd taken the mainframes... We'd won. Taking out Connor then would make no difference. Skynet had to wipe out his entire exist- ence. We captured the lab complex. Found the...what- ever it was called...the time-displacement equipment. The Terminator had already gone through. They sent two of us to intercept, then zeroed the whole place. Sumner
-Then how are you supposed to get back?
-You go naked. Something about the field generated by a living organism. Nothing dead will go.
-Why?
-I didn't build the fucking thing.
-Okay. Okay. But this... cyborg...if it's metal...
-Surrounded by living tissue.
-Why were the other two women killed?
-You've heard enough. Decide. Are you going to release me?
-I'm afraid that's not up to me.
-I can help you...
-...look, Lieutenant...uh, Vukovich, don't put me on hold and don't transfer me to another department...
-I won't. Now just relax. Where are you? Yeah, I know it...on Pico. Are you alright?
-Yes, but I don't want to leave. I think this guy's following me.
-Here, drink some of this...
-Lieutenant, are you sure it's them? Maybe I should see the ...bodies.
-Sarah. Sarah, this is Dr. Silber- man. I'd like you to tell him everything Reese said to you. Do you feel up to it?
-Why don't you just stretch out here and get some sleep. It'll take your mom a good hour to get here from Redlands.
-I can't sleep.
-Go ahead. You're safe. There're thirty cops in this building.
-Give me the short version.
-Okay, let's see...Got a pos- itive on her. She's Sarah Connor, works as a legal--
-Here's her driver's license.
-You gotta be kidding me. The new guys'll be short-stroking it over this one. A one-day pattern killer.
-That stuff's two hours cold.
-I know.
-Did you reach the next girl yet?
-No. Keep getting an answer- ing machine.
-Send a unit.
-I already did. No answer at the door and the apartment manager's out. I'm keeping them there.
-Call her.
-I just called.
-Same shit.
-I can hear it now, it's gonna be the goddamned 'Phone Book Killer'.
-I hate the press cases. Especially the weird press cases. Where you going?
-If they can get this on the tube by eleven, she may just call us. How do I look?
-Go! Go! He's got her.
-That Silberman just crack me up. He had this guy in here last week who set his Afghan on fire. Screwed it first, then set it on--
-You promised you'd meet projections, Alan. A dollar sixty per share you said. So, I don't think this is so surprising a visit.
-Projections were far too optimistic.
-Admittedly...
-Our E.P.S. was one fifty last quarter. We're up eight cents per share.
-But, the expectation was ten. And, in this case, expectation is everything.
-Will you really hold me to it over <u>pennies</u>?
-My stock's falling. Isn't yours? Those pennies are costing me millions.
-The stock will turn.
-It probably will. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it almost certainly will, in time. Why should I settle for that?
-Because it's fair. Give me next quarter. If you still feel this way, vote your shares...
-You're talking tomorrow. Today is what counts.
-You intractable son-of-a-bitch. If your father could see you now...
-What?
-It is so very inappropriate for you to mention my father. Or, did you think this, between us, was friendship? Just because you went fishing with my father, I should sit on my hands while you throw my money away?
-Now, look...
-I'll be done in a minute. You misspoke before. You're not "stepping down." I'm taking you out at the knees. The whole point is to prove that you're not deciding anything anymore. I'm firing you. Action's taken. Confidence restored. Stock goes up. I sell my shares.
-There is no Baer/Grant Publishing without Alan Baer.
-I could fight you on this.
-Are you finished?
-No. This is my lawyer, Samuel Sutherland. I thought you two should meet.
-I only mention it because I took the test this afternoon, down on Montgomery Street.
-Did you play recently?
-Hm? No, about a year ago. I was working out of Los Angeles.
-I've heard good things about their London branch. You have to admit, it sounds like some fantasy, role-playing nonsense.
-You want to know what it is? What it's all about? John. Chapter nine. Verse twenty-five.
-I, uh... haven't been to Sunday school in years...
-Christine! Mister Van Orton is a valued customer...
-You don't talk to me like that.
-I apologized, I offered to help.
-Clean out your locker.
-Fine, Dennis. Soon as I get my money for this week.
-I'm so sorry.
-I apologize, sir, I'm having a bad day...
-Don't help me, just get more napkins. And soda water.
-It was an accident.
-Terrific. I now have a hundred dollar dry cleaning bill.
-Pardon me... Miss... ?
-I'm not sure how this works. Do you have something for me... ? I got this note...
-What are you babbling about, psycho?
-I want to know what's going on. Are you part of this?
-Excuse me, I need to explain...
-What's with him?
-Do you know what to do?
-Oh, God... !
-Don't just stand there, get help!
-This can't be real...
-He's pissing his pants. Is that real enough for you? Call 911!
-Alright... okay...
-This is nuts.
-What <u>is</u> your problem?
-Let's talk to whoever can get this over with...
-You've got to be kidding.
-I was trying to tell you... it's a game.
-A game?
-It's run by a company... they play elaborate pranks. Things like this. I'm really only now finding out myself.
-What are you talking about?
-The lights went out, one hundred people all ran away...
-You mean, the guy who turned blue and <u>wet</u> himself... ?
-I'm sorry, about this...
-There's got to be a flashlight.
-See you around.
-Where are you going?
-Home.
-Where'd you all go? Motherfucking frat boys. You better hide. Is your life so pathetic that this is something you're willing to pay for?
-It was a gift... from my brother.
-Long story. I found this key in the mouth of a wooden Harlequin.
-Don't even think about it.
-Why not?
-Read what it says: "Warning, do <u>not</u> attempt to open. If elevator stops, use emergency... "
-If there was one.
-"... wait for help." Wait for help. I'm not opening a door that specifically warns me not to.
-I'll give you a boost.
-You first.
-This isn't an attempt to be gallant. If I don't lift you, how are you going to get there?
-You pull me up.
-It's much easier this way. Come on, step up...
-No.
-Please...
-I'm not wearing underwear. Okay? There, I said it. Satisfied.
-There's a ladder here.
-I'll wait.
-This is C.R.S.
-What's C.R.S.?
-Don't panic. When security gets here, we simply explain what happened...
-They'll love that.
-You deserted me.
-You're a grown man. I'm not responsible for you.
-You're the one who started running.
-There goes a thousand dollars.
-Your <u>shoes</u> cost a thousand dollars?
-That one did.
-Never did catch your name.
-Nicholas. Nicholas Van Orton.
-That's classic.
-We hang down here and drop. The garbage'll break our fall.
-Where are we going?
-What exactly do you do?
-Nice.
-A fresh shirt...
-If this was my office, I wouldn't keep that closed.
-I know the owner of Campton Place. I could talk to him in the morning.
-Goodnight.
-I don't think I've ever spent this much time with someone who didn't even ask my name.
-The maitre d' called you Christine.
-Right. Call me Christy.
-Goodnight, Christy. It was nice meeting you.
-Give me an address so I can send your shirt back.
-I have a confession to make. Someone gave me six-hundred dollars to spill drinks on you, as a practical joke.
-Seriously? What did they say?
-What are you doing here?
-Can we talk?
-Didn't think I'd ever see you again.
-What is it?
-Is this you?
-Where'd you get this?
-It was left in my hotel room, well, not really mine. You're saying it's not you?
-I think I would remember. What makes you think it's me?
-Well... the red bra.
-Okay.
-Do you mind if I sit?
-Sure. You alright? Is this still that contest you're in...
-I'm tired. I'm sorry, I should go. I've been enough of a nuisance.
-Want anything to drink?
-You?
-Take the picture out.
-What's wrong?
-Take the picture out of the frame and show it to me.
-They're watching.
-Wha... ?
-No! I'm sick of this...
-What is this!?
-What are you doing... ?
-Get out.
-I could've handed you to them. They find me now, I'm dead...
-Get out of my car!
-You can talk while I drive us to the police.
-Who are "they?"
-I don't know, nobody does. I'm an employee.
-Then, what good are you?
-I know things... like who you can trust. Like that your brother was in on it from the beginning.
-That's a lie...
-It wasn't his fault. He thought it was his only way back. They fleeced him real good.
-How? How could they have gotten anything?
-They did the same to him as they did to you.
-Why else would they be willing to put you under... ?
-Overseas operator? Please dial Allgemeine Bank, Zurich.
-What did you say?
-My name's not Christine. It's not my real...
-It's just money. You should be glad you're alive.
-It might be best if we didn't talk.
-All I mean is... someone like you...
-How many times have you done this? I'm interested.
-What?
-Scams, con games. How many?
-I don't know. A lot.
-Who is it?
-Who is it?
-Mm... I wouldn't worry about it.
-What... what do you mean?
-What are you <u>doing</u> here?
-I'm back from the dead.
-Get us out of here...
-Nicholas...
-What do you think you're doing?
-You tell me... I want to know who's behind this. Who did this to me... how, why... ?
-How deluded can you be? There's no <u>why</u>...
-Who's responsible?!
-It wasn't you. It wasn't personal...
-It could have been any asshole with a couple hundred million in the bank.
-They won't...
-Where'd you get that... ?
-... what... ?
-What the fuck are you... ?
-Where'd you get that gun?
-It's mine...
-We searched the house.
-Guess you missed it.
-He's got a gun. Everyone, he's got a <u>real</u> gun up here! Real situation! ... damn it...
-What are you doing?
-Nicholas, this is fake. It's all part of the game...
-Listen very carefully, I'm telling the truth... this is the game. This was all the game.
-Bullshit. They killed him. Feingold, Fisher, whoever... they shot him...
-No, now wait... think about it. What did you see... ?
-I saw them kill him!
-What did you <u>really see</u>? This whole time... special effects, squibs, like in the movies. Please, you've got to believe me... He's got a gun, with real bullets!
-Stop talking to them!
-Okay... okay... I put it down. Now open that door. Mister Fisher's right on the other side of that door. He's an actor...
-Stop talking...
-Nicholas...
-Shut up!
-No! You take another step, I'll shoot! They're trying to kill me...
-Think about it! They followed you every step of the way. There was always a safety net. The taxi, there was a diver. At my house, the window was rigged... they shot at us with blanks...
-That's not true...
-It is. It's what you hired us for. Nobody touched your money. Nobody stole anything. They're waiting on the other side of that door with champagne... all your friends... it's a celebration...
-No...
-Open that door, you'll see. Your brother's there... Conrad. He's there. It's your birthday party...
-Stop it!
-Don't move, you bitch... !
-I have to show you...
-Hi. Didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
-That's my fault. I get too worked up at these. I'm very method. You do know... that's not my name.
-I didn't know what else to call you.
-Claire.
-I have to get to the airport...
-Where are you going in such a hurry?
-There's another gig starting in Saudi Arabia. I'm just a walk-on this time though. Bit-part.
-What about dinner sometime, when you get back? Would that be... ?
-Is this something you're interested in? I'm not really that person I was.
-I realize. Maybe you could... tell me a little about yourself.
-Like what... my favorite color... ?
-Like... where are you from?
-Originally, Connecticut.
-Big family... small?
-One brother, one sister.
-Studied acting, I assume?
-Julliard, yeah.
-Single?
-Yes.
-Boyfriend?
-No.
-Underwear?
-Hey there, Nickie.
-Conrad, what a surprise. Gesundheit.
-Happy Birthday, man.
-"Seymour Butts." I never get tired of that one.
-They gave me a free jacket at the door.
-They'll be wanting it back.
-Not after I'm done with it. Actually, I've been here. In grad-school I bought crystal-meth from the maitre d'.
-You look good.
-So do you. And to think I was worried...
-About me?
-How long's it been? Since mom died... four years? How are you?
-Never better.
-Elizabeth?
-Divorced. Remarried to some pediatrician or gynecologist, or pediatric gynaecologist, in Sausalito.
-Too bad, I liked her. So, you're all alone in the House of Pain?
-I redecorated. What about you?
-Nowhere in particular. Don't you keep track of my whereabouts anymore?
-Connie... what brings you here? Is everything alright?
-Yeah.
-You need anything?
-No.
-Really?
-For you.
-Call that number.
-"Consumer Recrreation Services." What, do they make golf clubs?
-Trust me. Call that number.
-Why?
-They make your life fun. Their only guarantee is you will not be bored.
-Fun?
-You've heard of it. You've seen other people having it. They're an entertainment service, but more than that.
-This isn't an escort service?
-It's a profound life experience.
-Like a stroke?
-Tell me you'll call.
-Okay.
-Will you?
-I said I would...
-But, will you?
-Are you still on mediction?
-I thought you'd like this. Best thing I ever did. If you don't want to do it, DON'T...
-I'll call them, okay?
-It doesn't matter...
-I'm going to call.
-Do it for YOU.
-Okay, okay... okay? I just... you know I hate surprises.
-Tell me where we're going.
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-The Food and Drug Administration said Wednesday female deodorant sprays may cause such harmful reactions as blisters, burns and rashes. Although the FDA judges that the reported reactions are not sufficient to justify removal of these products from the market, they are sufficient to warrant the proposed mandatory label warnings.
-If you don't want me to pose for him, why do you want me to meet him?
-Purely personal. I believe you might enjoy one another.
-But Countess...
-But here you are, still a virgin -- you are virginal yet, aren't you?
-Why, yes, technically. Jack Kerouac and I came awfully close, but he was afraid of me, I think...
-Yes, well, what I'm getting at is that there comes a time when it is psychologically impossible for a woman to lose her virginity. She can't wait too long, you know. Now, there's no reason why you must lose yours. I mean, just ponder it a bit, that's all.
-What makes you think this watercolorist and I would develop a romantic relationship?
-I can't be certain that you would. But what have you got to lose?
-Well, okay. I'll try it. I don't see the point in it, but I'll try it. Just for you. It's kind of silly, actually, me going out with an artist in New York City. However...
-Sissy, don't play dumb with me! You're a good model but a shitty actress. The cowgirls are involved in this whooping crane disappearance. You know perfectly well they are. Last seen in Nebraska. Didn't make it to Canada. Siwash Lake is between Nebraska and Canada. The cowgirls have possession of Siwash Lake. And who else but Jellybean's wild cunts could possibly conceive of doing
-I don't know anything about it.
-Ballast.
-That means top-secret, Cooper.
-I can see why they sent you along.
-You still need the rope? I thought you were one a those spacemen with ice in ya veins.
-...do you copy?
-Uh, yeah Coop, I'm still here.
-Shit! Do not do that! Where the fuck are you?
-Holy shit...
-Justin?
-Time to play Spam in the can.
-Okay, listen up. As you all know by now, we have an addition to our crew. Dr. Weir, this is: Starck, navigation; Smith, pilot, Justin, ship's engineer --
-You can call him Baby-bear, he loves that...
-...cancel our leave and send us out on some bullshit mission...!
-From what?
-...come on, Skipper, I already put my shoes on...
-You've had plenty EVA, Coop, it's Justin's turn. Stay on station. If anything happens...
-We have a man down...
-Coop, where are you...
-The containment, Second Containment...
-But Justin...
-Captain Miller, we're ready to repressurize the Clark.
-...and the gravity drive goes where no man has gone before.
-You prep the gravity couches. I'm going to manually arm those explosives.
-Will it work?
-You been out there a long time. Trying to break my record?
-I'd rather spend the next twelve hours Outside than another five minutes in this can. This ship is bad. It watches you.
-What?
-You heard me. This ship, it's crazy: trying to go faster'n light, that's like the Tower of Babel.
-Shit, Smith, you're going Biblical on me.
-You know what happened to the Tower of Babel, don't you? It fell down.
-We'll have to re-route through the port conduit to the APU.
-It's holding... She's holding...!
-Solid as a rock. Hey, Smith...
-Smith, clear that airlock, man, I'm coming in.
-Damn, Dr. Weir, don't scare us like that. Coffee?
-What?
-Coffee.
-The Event Horizon only had life support for eighteen months. It seems impossible, but in light of the transmission... I have to think that someone has managed to endure until now.
-It was like... nothing was there... and then Justin appeared and the Core... became metal...
-No, he didn't.
-You weren't there. I saw it.
-I don't know what happened to Justin.
-I'm telling you, I saw it...
-What you saw could have been an optical effect caused by gravitational distortion.
-Is that an offer?
-What's happening?
-Let me breathe, let me breathe...
-How? The Bridge is gone.
-There must be a way! What about Engineering?
-Can you shut it down?
-I don't know the process, Dr. Weir was the expert...
-I'm gonna activate the emergency beacon.
-What...?
-He's a rescue technician. Peters, medical technician. DJ...
-Trauma.
-We haven't tested the air yet. It could be contaminated...
-How is he?
-Carbon dioxide poisoning produces hallucinations, impaired judgement...
-To conserve our oxygen, we should severely restrict our activity. Anyone who can should get some sleep.
-He'll live... if we ever make it back.
-Of course not. Justin just climbed into the airlock because he felt like it. Just one of those things. I swore I'd never lose another man. I came close today. Real close.
-I, I tried to go back for him, to save him, but I couldn't get to him in time. The fire... Have you ever seen fire in zero-gravity? It's like a liquid, it slides over everything. It was like a wave breaking over him, a wave of fire. And then he was gone. I never told anyone until now. But this ship knew, DJ.
-What is it?
-I've been listening to the transmission. And I think Houston made a mistake in the translation.
-They thought it said, "Liberatis me," "Save me," but it's not "me." It's "tutemet:" "Save yourself."
-It's not a distress call. It's a warning.
-Do you hear it? Right there.
-Hear what?
-It sounds like "ex infera:" "ex," from; "infera," the ablative case of "inferi." "Hell."
-"Save yourself. From Hell." What are you saying, are you saying that this ship is possessed?
-DJ. The Clark's gone. Smith and Cooper are dead.
-What happened?
-Please...
-Oh, God, DJ, what do I... how do I...
-Please... kill...
-What's wrong?
-What's happening...?
-What's wrong?
-I've got a pulse, he's alive...
-Pressure?
-90 over 50 and falling... .
-Intubate, pure oxygen feed, get the nitrogen out of his blood...
-His peritoneum has ruptured...
-You wanted to see me, Admiral?
-Incredible... These are the same coordinates before the ship disappeared... this, this happened? This isn't some kind of hoax?
-I wouldn't bring you here on a hoax. Houston confirms the telemetry and I.D. codes.
-That ship was lost in deep space, seven years ago. If the Titanic sailed into New York harbor, I'd find it more plausible. Houston wants Aerospace to send out a search and rescue team, investigate the source of the transmission. If it really is the Event Horizon, they'll attempt a salvage. We need you to prepare a detailed briefing on the ship's systems for
-It's against my better judgement, but I'll run this by the Man downstairs. You'll know my decision by the end of the day.
-Thank you.
-It's not that simple. Lyle, play the recording for Dr. Weir.
-You're not seriously considering sending him?
-You don't just dismiss Bill Weir. The man held Oppenheimer's chair at Princeton. If the Event Horizon had worked, he would have gone down in history as the greatest mind in physics since Einstein.
-The official inquiry blamed Weir's design for the ship's loss.
-That doesn't mean a damn thing. They were looking for a scapegoat and Weir fit the bill. But he's not responsible for what happened to the ship.
-Does he know that?
-What's on your mind?
-He doesn't belong on this mission. Responsible or not, he blames himself. He's too close to it. And then there's his wife.
-It's been two years since she died. He's over it.
-I want our best people on this. Where's Miller?
-What, Justin, what shows you?
-It won't stop, it goes on and on and on...
-What does?
-...It's inside and it eats and eats until there's nothing left.
-"The dark inside..."? I don't understand.
-Oh my god OH MY GOD...
-...is zero. That's what the singularity does: it folds space, so that point A and point B coexist in the same space and time. After the ship passes through this gateway, space returns to normal. It's called a gravity drive.
-How do you know all this?
-You've reached the First Containment Seal. The engineering decks are on the other side.
-We still have pressure. The radiation count's steady at 7 millirads an hour.
-I've reached another containment door. This thing's huge...
-That's the Second Containment Seal. Beyond that, engineering.
-Everything green on my boards, Skipper.
-Okay. We do it the hard way. Deck by deck, room by room. Starck, deploy the umbilicus. I believe you're up for a walk, Mr. Justin. Go get your bonnet on.
-Justin, finish your sweep.
-Patch me through to him.
-Justin.
-...I don't want to die...!
-You're not going to die! Not today! I want you to do exactly as I say and I'm gonna get you out of there, alright?
-But I can't... I gotta get out of here... Skipper, please...
-This is Weir.
-Dr. Weir, you have no experience with salvage procedures.
-I designed the ship's propulsion system. I am the only person capable of evaluating the performance of the gravity drive. You can't send a Search and Rescue team out there alone and expect them to succeed. That would be like... like sending an auto- mechanic to work on the shuttle.
-I can understand your desire to redeem your reputation, Dr. Weir, but it doesn't factor into this.
-Since the initial transmission, there's been no further contact. Just the beacon, every two minutes.
-The crew? Could they still be alive?
-The ship had life support systems for eighteen months. They're been gone seven years.
-What's the hold up?
-Just loading the last of the CO2 scrubbers. Good for four months.
-I put in for a replacement for you but no one...
-No, no, its alright. I talked to my ex, he'll keep Denny over Christmas and I'll get him this summer. Goddam it, Skipper... I haven't seen him in two months.
-We've got pressure.
-Jesus its huge.
-That means they didn't abandon ship.
-Peters is right, no one's here.
-I can see the hatch.
-The blood came from somewhere, Peters...
-Okay. I'm on the bridge.
-Everything's been shut down. Conserving power, I guess. Green light on the hull, it's intact.
-I found one.
-Alive?
-Justin, check the containment for radiation leaks. Peters...
-...how's the client?
-Can anybody hear me...
-Skipper...
-Peters...
-...you okay?
-Peters, I want you to go through the ship's log, see if we can't find some answers.
-I can use the station in Medical, keep an eye on Justin...
-I can run the image through a series of filters, try to clean it up.
-That's a negative, Starck.
-Peters. We need to know what happened to the crew. Before it happens to us.
-I'll get back to the log. But on the bridge, I won't go back, back in there...
-Captain Miller, I just want to say...
-Captain Miller, I appreciate this opportunity...
-Doctor Weir, my crew is not going on your mission because we want to. We were pulled off a well deserved leave, to be sent out to the middle of nowhere, and no one's even told us why.
-I've been authorized to brief you and the crew once we reach Neptune space.
-It was the ship's maiden voyage, to test the drive. The Event Horizon moved to safe distance using ion thrusters. They received the go-ahead to activate the gravity drive. And the ship vanished from all our scopes. No radar contact, no enhanced optical, no radio contact of any kind. They disappeared without a trace. Until now.
-Where has it been for the last seven years?
-What does it say?
-That's the engineering containment. And there's the main airlock. We can dock there.
-Smith, use the arm and lock us onto that antennae cluster.
-Dr. Weir, I need you on the bridge.
-Captain, I didn't come out here to sit on your bridge, I need to be on that ship...
-Once the ship is secured, we'll bring you on board --
-That is not acceptable --
-You're in the central corridor. It connects the personnel areas to Engineering.
-I can see that, what're they for?
-Easy, Peters, we're okay, we're okay. Let's finish the sweep.
-Any survivors?
-No one?
-It beats dying, Mister Smith.
-Yes.
-Hold on, what's this "gravitational distortion?"
-It's possible that a burst of gravity waves escaped from the Core, distorting space-time. They could be what hit the Lewis and Clark.
-What could cause them? What's in the Core?
-It's complicated...
-It's insane.
-"Insane?" The finest astronauts fought to be posted to this ship. It would take the Lewis and Clark a thousand years to reach our closest star. The Event Horizon could be there in a day...
-If it worked.
-I want this room sealed. The Second Containment is off limits.
-There's no danger. The black hole is contained behind three magnetic fields, it's under control.
-You have something, Dr. Weir?
-The date.
-What about it?
-The Event Horizon's computer think's it's 2034.
-It's 2041...
-Explanation?
-What the hell is that? Dr. Weir?
-We barely have enough power for life support as it is, if we can't stop the drain, we're not gonna make it.
-We don't get the power back, our air's gonna go bad.
-We're a long way from home and we're in a bad place. Let's not make it worse. If anyone has any constructive suggestions, now is the time.
-I think I can stabilize the fields around the singularity, that should prevent another power drain.
-Is that your "expert opinion?" The only answer we've had out of you is "I don't know."
-I want to know what caused that noise. I want to know why one of my crew tried to throw himself out of the airlock.
-Thermal changes in the hull could have caused the metal to expand and contract very suddenly, causing reverberations --
-That's bullshit and you know it! You built this fucking ship and all I've heard from you is bullshit!
-What do you want me to say?
-You said this ship creates a gateway...
-Yes...
-To what? Where did this ship go? Where did you send it?
-I don't know...
-Where has it been for the past seven years?
-I don't know...
-The "Other Place," what is that...?
-I DON'T KNOW! I don't know. There's a lot of things going on here that I don't understand. Truth takes time.
-We're leaving.
-You can't, your orders are specific...
-"...to rescue the crew and salvage the ship." The crew is dead, Dr. Weir. This ship killed them. And now it's killing us.
-You're insane. You've lost your mind.
-Maybe you're right. But it's still my command, and I have leeway to abort when I feel there is an unacceptable threat to my crew. And I think there is. Starck, download all the files from the Event Horizon's computers. Coop, Smith, finish moving the CO2 scrubbers back onto the Clark.
-Don't... don't do this...
-What about my ship?
-We will take the Lewis and Clark to a safe distance and then launch tac missiles at the Event Horizon until I am satisfied that she has been destroyed. Fuck this ship.
-You... You can't do that!
-You can't leave. She won't let you.
-I told you... She won't let you leave...
-Your eyes...
-I don't need them anymore. Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
-What are you talking about?
-If you miss me, you'll blow out the hull. You'll die too.
-Weir is dead.
-Then who the fuck are you?
-What are you?
-You know.
-You want me to believe you're the Devil, well, I don't, that's bullshit!
-I'm not the Devil.
-Then what, what are you? Tell me...
-There is no Devil. There is no God. There is only... NOTHING.
-You're lying...!
-I'm not asking you to believe me. You'll see for yourself... and so will your crew. You're all coming with me.
-You can't have them. Go to hell.
-I don't like it either, but you know the rules: we get the call, we go. Is the course locked in?
-Jesus...
-Heading three-three-four...
-...Make your approach vector negative fourteen degrees...
-We have a lock on the Event Horizon's navigation beacon. It's in the upper ionosphere, we're in for some chop.
-We're all on edge, Smith. We're a long way out...
-That's not it. That ship was built to go faster than light... That's just wrong, it goes against everything we know...
-What are you trying to say? "If God had intended Man to fly, he would have given us wings?"
-I guess we're about to find out. Keep us slow and steady.
-Yes, sir.
-We've got some weather.
-1500 meters. We're getting too close...
-Proximity warning! 900, 800 meters, 700... we're right on top of it, we're gonna hit!
-Put it through TACS. Smith, you up for a flyby?
-It is now. We're locked in.
-Captain Miller...
-Smith, where the hell have you been?!
-Do we have enough time for a weld?
-We don't have time to fart.
-We're losing pressure at 280 liters a second and our oxygen tanks are cracked. In three minutes, our atmosphere will be gone. We are fucking dead.
-No one's dying on my watch, Smith! What about the reserve tanks?
-But...
-Captain Miller, you copy?
-I'm here, Smith, how's the Clark?
-I've found a six inch fracture in the outer hull. We should be able to repair it and re-pressurize, it's gonna take some time.
-We don't have time, Smith. In twenty hours we run out of air.
-...you break all the laws of physics, you think there won't be a price? You already killed the first crew...
-Sir.
-Thank you.
-Captain, we got a problem.
-Now what?
-She was right behind me, I turn around, she's gone. She could be anywhere.
-Skipper...
-What is it, Smith?
-Smith, get out of there...
-Come again, Skipper?
-Get off the Clark now and wait for me at the airlock.
-No, no, we just got her back together...
-Where is it, where is it...
-We're past the outer marker, we can engage the ion drive whenever you're ready.
-Ion drive will engage in... T-minus ten minutes.
-Starck, why aren't you on the bridge?
-I just finished drying...
-Crossing the horizon. Optimum approach angle is fourteen degrees.
-Something's wrong with the bio-scan.
-Radiation interference?
-That's an affirmative.
-Everybody okay?
-We're all here.
-It tastes bad.
-The antennae array's completely fried, we've got no radio, no laser, no highgain... No one's going to be coming to help us.
-How much oh-two do we have?
-Oxygen is not the problem.
-Carbon dioxide?
-It's building up with every breath we take. And the CO2 filters on the Event Horizon are shot.
-We can take the filters from the Clark...
-I thought of that, with the filters from the Clark, we've got enough breathable air for twenty hours. After that, we'd better be on our way home.
-What about the life readings you picked up?
-The Event Horizon sensors show the same thing: "Bio-readings of indeterminate origin." Right before that wave hit the Clark, there was some kind of surge, right off the scale, but now it's back to its previous levels.
-What's causing the readings?
-I don't know, but whatever it is, it's not the crew.
-What's the point? I'll just get the same thing...
-Not acceptable. I want to know what's causing those readings. If the crew is dead, I want the bodies, I want the crew found.
-I can reconfigure the scan for C-12, amylase proteins.
-Maybe one of the original crew?
-No. It was someone else.
-Who?
-Miller...
-What is it, Starck?
-...I ran the bio-scan with the DNA/RNA filter. The results were bio-readings of indeterminate origin...
-"...bio-readings of indeterminate origin," don't you have anything useful to tell me?
-Go ahead.
-You've got to listen...
-To what? What are you saying? This ship is alive?
-I didn't say that, I said the bio- readings correspond to what happened to you, the ship is reacting to us...
-It's not bullshit, it's the only conclusion the data supports...
-Starck, do you know how crazy that sounds? It's impossible.
-If you knew it was impossible, then why'd you waste my time?
-What I want is to survive the next ten hours.
-Nine hours and twenty-two minutes.
-Miller, come in...
-What's going on in there, Starck?
-What?
-He's awake, he's in the airlock, he's not wearing a suit.
-I'm on my way, Starck.
-Tuck yourself into a crouched position, shut your eyes as tight as you can!
-Weir can't be alive.
-Weir activated the drive. He's sending us to the Other Place.
-BLOW THE FUCKER UP.
-Blow it up?
-I'll do it --
-We're armed. This fucker's ready to blow...
-...repeat, we're armed...
-Weir.
-First time in a grav couch?
-Don't worry about it. He's hard, but he's fair. You're lucky to be shipping out with him. He's one of the few Captains in the service with experience in the Outer Reach.
-He's been past Mars?
-He served on the Goliath.
-Wasn't that ship destroyed?
-Claire...
-Here's another one. They're all over the place.
-Dr. Weir, what's this the door to?
-Yes, we can see some kind of mist. What is that?
-Blood. Looks like arterial spray.
-Can you see a body?
-No. I saw nothing.
-About an hour ago. In medical. I saw my son. He was lying on one of the examination tables and his legs were...
-Isn't it possible that you were traumatized by finding the body on the bridge?
-There's no one in the corridor but us.
-He's engaged the override.
-Yes. Yes, Justin, we heard it.
-Keep him talking.
-Almost got it.
-We have to do something, oh God...
-You got any coffee?
-It's cold.
-Hey...
-Where is she?
-Jesus, that is one big ugly fat fucker...
-Foredecks. Crew quarters, bridge, medical and science labs, hydroponics, what have you. That central section connects the forward decks to the Engineering containment area. Can we move in closer?
-What the hell is that?
-The safety circuit's failed!
-What?
-I didn't see anything and I don't have to see anything. This ship is fucked.
-Thank you for that scientific analysis, Mister Smith.
-I can't believe this, I haven't gotten more than my hand in six weeks and now this shit. Why not Mars, Cap, Mars has women...
-30 hours to Neptune orbit.
-You can't do that.
-This is U.S. Aerospace Command vessel Lewis and Clark, hailing Event Horizon, Event Horizon, do you read...? This is the Lewis and Clark, hailing...
-If they are, they're screening their calls.
-The scope is lit, it's right in front of us...
-Range 500 meters and holding. Turbulence is dropping off...
-What happened to his eyes?
-Explosive decompression.
-Miller, do you read me, Peters --
-Get them back --
-What if the air has gone bad? We can't wear these suits forever.
-Relativity, yes. We can't break the law of relativity, but we can go around it. The ship doesn't really move faster than the speed of light; it creates a dimensional gateway that allows the ship to instantaneously "jump" from one point in the universe to another, light years away.
-How?
-A straight line.
-The reactor's still hot. We've got several small radiation sources, leaks probably. Nothing serious.
-Do they have pressure?
-Could it be the crew? If they were in suspended animation, wouldn't that effect the scan?
-What is it?
-What is it?
-That's how the gravity drive works, you see: it focuses the black hole's immense gravitational power to create the gateway. That's how the Event Horizon travels faster than light.
-Why Dr. Weir, I think you're in love.
-Hmmm. Claire used to tell me I loved the Event Horizon more than I loved her. I told her that wasn't true, I just knew the Event Horizon better, that's all.
-Claire is your wife?
-Yes.
-It must be hard, being so far away from her.
-Yes. I miss her. She died. Two years now.
-Maybe a power interruption crashed the system...
-What are you doing?
-In our current environment, Dr. Weir, self-control is an asset.
-What is it?
-The forward airlock.
-Justin said something about, "The dark inside me..." What did he mean?
-I don't think She's real big on hate.
-Such a sad face... You know, sometimes being different isn't a bad thing.
-How'd you know it was me?
-I'm not really dressed for a party.
-Relax, it's casual.
-Those yours too?
-We're going to have to work on your touch.
-You know, you could'a run an ad in the personals.
-"Sensual blind chick seeks three- ton, rock-hard he-man for deep spiritual relationship."
-You don't know what it's like out there. Walking around like some kind of circus freak. People staring, whispering --
-I wouldn't know anything about that.
-I mean...
-Way to not overthink it. So when do we leave?
-I can handle the ship. I can even handle Mr. Blonde Ambition. But I don't know if I should be flying or playing Vegas in these suits. Who the hell came up with them?
-We can monitor the cloud's approach and observe the tests from here.
-I can only stay for one drink, Ben. I've got to meet with Victor.
-We need to give you a physical, so we know what got zapped.
-You look like an eighties rock band.
-The suit will stretch. You should try it --
-He didn't.
-Oh, he did.
-He didn't mean it. You know Johnny. He's always been a hothead --
-It's not him. It's them. I can't live like this.
-Just give Reed a little more time. You know how he works -- analyzing every little step before he takes one --
-It's easy for you to be patient.
-Where is Reed?
-What are you doing here?
-I'm worried about you.
-About me? How sweet.
-Ben, come in.
-What is this? Where's Reed?
-What do you want, Vic?
-Reed said it'd be weeks till --
-He couldn't generate enough power for the machine to reach critical mass. Yet another mistake for "Mr. Fantastic."
-I'll be watching over you.
-Soon as I'm back, I'm gonna trade that in for a bigger rock.
-Deb... It's me. I need you to step out front.
-Ben?
-Don't come any closer for a sec. This is gonna be kind of a shock... You remember when we said "together forever no matter what"?
-Oh my G-g-g. What did you... do to Ben?
-What did you wish for, honey?
-Good thing it ain't workin... Reed, what are we doing here? This guy's fast-food, strip-mall science --
-He's financed some of the biggest breakthroughs of this century.
-I can't take this.
-What about his first born?
-He knew about NASA. What if he made the call to shut us down --
-Ben, think about all the people we can help if this works --
-Maybe you should think about yourself for once. You always let this guy push you round --
-We got what we wanted. That's enough.
-Can't do it. I cannot do it.
-External SRBs, orbital system engines. Its just like the shuttles you flew in --
-No. I cannot take orders from that underwear model. That wingnut washed out of NASA for sneaking two Victoria Secret wannabes into a flight simulator.
-They crashed it into a wall. A flight simulator.
-When have I asked you to do something you absolutely said you could not do?
-Five times.
-I had it at four.
-Isn't that your speech?
-He's made a few changes.
-This is your dream, Reed. You should be the one up there.
-The shields on the station should protect us.
-I ain't done arranging your flowers, egghead.
-How long was I out?
-Three days. I was worried about you. How are you feeling?
-I don't know. I just keep going over and over the numbers.
-Reed. Even you can't compute every little thing.
-You go through something like this, makes you appreciate having the right woman in your life.
-Yeah, you and Debbie and perfect --
-What? Come on. She's got a good thing with Victor --
-I'm sorry, did that cosmic-bath loosen your screws?
-He's smart, powerful, successful --
-Are you alright?
-What the --!
-Ben. Are you okay?
-We had a tough year.
-You got a chisel round here?
-Okay. I've uh, got some questions, from Sue. That she thought might be better coming from me... Can you, you know, go to the bathroom... like normal...
-Yeah. You don't wanna know the details.
-Ben, I'm afraid I've got to ask --
-Not unless you want that clipboard stretched up your --
-It's about to be a broken face.
-Ben --
-Oh, you remember my name do you? You happen to remember what you swore to do with every breath in your body?
-We're working as hard as we can --
-Glad "nothing" could take you away from your work.
-Time for your lesson, Vic. Chem 101: what happens when you supercool hot metal...? Ben...
-Ben, I've been crunching the numbers on the machine. I think if we can rework the power settings...
-What the hell you smiling at? Just keep your mouth shut, and your mind on those SMBs --
-If you behave, maybe next time daddy'll let you drive.
-Please tell me your dawg's not trying to rekindle things with my sister.
-'Course not. Strictly business.
-Yeah, well, his eyes say different.
-Hey, two hearts got busted last time. Maybe she's not over it either.
-Let's see: you got Victor, stud of the year, more coin than God? Or Reed, the world's dumbest smart guy worth less than a postage stamp. Hmmm, it's a toss-up.
-Put your tiny little mind at ease.
-Where... where am I?
-Back on Earth. Victor's medical facility... We're in quarantine.
-Reed?... Sue?
-What's wrong with me?
-I swear to you they've done everything humanly possible. The best plastic surgeons in the world, Ben. You had the best --
-They said that's not such a good idea, the shock alone could --
-Hey! That's a prototype!
-The machine works. And Vic's gone Mister Hyde on us --
-No more cracks about how I look.
-Your tissue, your organs, your entire biophysical structure is changing. Every system is still functioning, somehow --
-And they're changing into...
-I don't really know. A compound organic-metallic alloy. Stronger than titanium or carbon steel. Harder than diamonds --
-Like the shields Reed said would protect us. How long?
-At this rate, the infection should be complete in two, maybe three weeks --
-What do you mean "complete"?
-What?
-But... this disease... is progressive... degenerative...
-And where do we think we're going?
-You're hot!
-So are you!
-I mean, you feel a little feverish.
-I've never felt better in my life. When do you get off work?
-My shift ends at four, but I couldn't --
-Me like-y.
-Stay right. Left is trouble.
-I though we went over this.
-You're on fire!
-Not this again --
-Victor's right. Johnny, get to the command center. Close the shields.
-He's not responsive --
-Now what is up with that?
-The cloud has fundamentally altered our DNA.
-Oh, you dawg you. Better not be my nurse!
-This is wrong in so many ways.
-Ben Grimm is a genuine American hero who's been through a terrible orde--
-Twenty? From outside the place looks a lot taller.
-We should stay here until we can define the extent of our changes...
-This place is deluxe. You got cable?
-Back it down, Johnny!
-Not only could you kill yourself, but you could set fire to Earth's atmosphere and destroy all human life as we know it.
-Is there something about flames? About flaming, that you --
-What are you trying to say? Just because I dress well and like to dance --
-What? No. I'm trying to figure out why we each ended up with different symptoms.
-He's right. These costumes are... missing something. I can't put my finger on it --
-That's what I'm trying to calculate. And it's not rubber. It's muscle, tendon. I seem to have the ability to manipulate the malleability of my molecular structure and redistribute my density to --
-You need to control yourself and think before you --
-Act. Here we go again. Reed, what if we got these gifts for a reason? What if we have some, you know... like, calling?
-Johnny. SUPERNOVA.
-But all these people...
-The synthetics act as a second skin, adapting to your individual needs to --
-Apparently I can disappear.
-Flame on, flame off. Flame on, flame off --
-Stop it.
-What is that thing?
-Wait. You mean there's chance we could be full-on-24-7-fantastic?
-Grow up, Johnny. You want to run around on fire for the rest of your life?
-You're really cramping my style here.
-You were at 4000 Kelvin. Any hotter, you're approaching supernova --
-Sweet.
-Uh, we call my sister the invisible girl... the Invisible Girl.
-I'm driving.
-You're gonna pay for that, Pebbles. What?!
-You two need a time-out.
-Johnny? Did you see Ben?
-Yeah, for the last time, I hope. I'm done with this freak show. I'm moving back to the real world.
-Is that what you call it? "Real"?
-Johnny, slow down. Think. You know mom didn't raise us to --
-Look around, sis! She's not here. So you can stop talking to me like I'm your little boy --
-I'm sorry, sis, for leaving you guys --
-What are you doing --
-Sis. Let me take care of you for once.
-If Reed's right, then this little trip will double our stock offering.
-And if he's not...?
-They're ready for you, sir.
-Our numbers are through the roof. The IPO's tracking at fifty, sixty a share. The bank's five times oversubscribed --
-It's not just the money. I could make money in my sleep.
-Then what is it?
-Leonard, how's the feed?
-How's the IPO?
-Stable. We're looking at low twenties. It's a good number, considering the fallout from --
-Reed's disaster. You know, I half- think he did this to me on purpose.
-Get me on the AM shows, Larry King, cover of the Journal... I've got to do something about this scar. Make sure they only shoot my right side.
-Actually, uh, people seem to think the scar "humanizes" you.
-You know, maybe you should get some rest --
-Sir, I've always wondered... Why Sue? You could have any woman in the world but --
-Make sure you find Ben, bring him back here. And keep it quiet. I don't need this to hit the press.
-Yes sir. You've got the Mayor at eight, then a nine-thirty interview with the Journal --
-Front page?
-You're, you've, I mean, how have you bee--
-Those solar winds are flaring, but I factored them into my coordinates and --
-Well, uh, based on our history... you can handle the biogenetics, and I'll focus on the molecular physics. Or, uhm, maybe I should take the biotech, you work the microscopes, since you have some background in electropho--
-I, uh, think I remember the number.
-As far as crew, I was hoping Ben could pilot the mission --
-Material made from self-regulating unstable molecules. I've been working on a formula for this.
-Feeling better?
-Yes, thanks.
-That's good. That's uh... good.
-You're happy for me and Victor.
-I can tell you guys are enjoying what was the best part of our relationship --
-Which was?
-For science.
-Uh, Sue...? I can't.
-What? What do you mean you --
-It has to be the cloud. It's fundamentally altered our DNA.
-What?
-Sue. Your clothes. Lose them.
-How come Ben can't turn it on and off like us?
-That's what we're here to find out.
-It's not "invisibility" per se. You're bending the light around you with some kind of malleable force field. That's what you projected on the Bridge.
-You should be able to bend light around other objects, even people, if you could control your emotional state better --
-I'm saying, if you had a little more self control, you could locate the trigger. Can you remember the exact emotions when --
-Anger. Rage. Frustration.
-Okay. Is there any way to duplicate that feeling? Some memory or...
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that... You must think that was some kind of latent hostility or --
-I mean, you broke up with me, right?
-Are you kidding?
-Reed. I was ready for the next step, you weren't, ergo, I walked.
-I think it was a little more complicated than --
-There were a lot of variables to consider --
-What are you doing?
-If we can build a machine to re-create the storm, we can reverse the polarity --
-And reverse the mutations --
-But we're the focus, right Reed? Reed...?
-Of course. Of course.
-And you sure you can control this thing? Last time didn't work out so well.
-Reed. How close are we to a cure?
-Don't let Victor push you into making a mistake --
-He was going to take away all my data, equipment --
-Which is why I'm working twenty hours a day, checking every variable --
-Every variable but yourself. You don't eat, sleep. You can't live in your head like --
-I could get Ben to tap into the Baxter's main power to generate enough voltage --
-Remember our first date here...? God, I was so nervous.
-You were?
-You know, I bribed the projectionist ten bucks to keep it open late?
-You always talked about how you liked the kind of man who could approach you... speak his mind. One who wasn't afraid to tell you what he wanted.
-When I walked out, I waited ten minutes outside your door. Ten. Waiting for you to come find me.
-Why didn't you say something?
-I can... make it work.
-Reed, stop, you need to rest your --
-The power... I need... more power... to control... the storm --
-Sue, I need some of that anger, rage, frustration --
-I found a broken gasket, from space --
-But dreams don't pay the bills, do they? Same old Reed, the hopeless optimist. Still reaching for the stars, with the world on your back.
-This isn't going to be a problem, is it?
-You back this mission, and I'll sign over a fair percentage of any applications or --
-Funny how things turn out, isn't it?
-Got it. So take a walk, Ben... I'm going to borrow Susan for a second.
-We've got minutes until it hits, not hours... Victor, that storm's deadly -- the radiation's lethal. We need to abort.
-Get a grip. Reed. We didn't come all this way to lose our nerve at the first little glitch. Just close the shields...
-Ben's still out there --
-Come on, Ben, come on...
-Not until Ben is back inside!
-Just a little banged up. A couple scrapes. Why?
-Ben did this.
-Ben did this?
-I'm starting to wonder the same thing... How much do you know about what happened to you?
-Didn't go as planned? It was a catastrophe. You ruined the lives of four people --
-I ruined? With all due respect, I told you to abort --
-Abort? Reed, I put my company, my name, billions of dollars on the line, and I will not let you make me look like a fool --
-Victor, if we could understand what happened to us --
-What are you doing here?
-But I'm not done with the machine --
-It's just business.
-Surprised I agreed to Reed's proposal?
-I understand the business reasons.
-It's been a good two years, Victor... The company's accomplished so much.
-Right, of course, the company... But you see, I've come to realize all the accomplishments in the world mean nothing without someone to share them with --
-Uh, Victor, I hope I haven't done something to make you think...
-What are you doing?
-Raising the shields.
-What's going on?
-Victor, I'm sorry I --
-Victor, your scar --
-I told you, I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about.
-I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to --
-You said it was urgent.
-Victor, wait, slow down a second. I want you to know I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I just don't --
-He's working round the clock. But the data needs to be tested, analyzed before --
-If these molecules aren't stable, they could make us worse, maybe even kill us.
-Please don't make this personal --
-Oh, I think you already have.
-'Scuse me.
-I know it can't be easy. Life hasn't changed that much for Reed, Sue and Johnny. At least they can go out in public. But for you? People staring. Whispering behind your back...
-If you're trying to cheer me up you're doing a helluva job --
-Reed's gonna fix me up --
-For your sake I hope you're right. I'm sorry if that sounds a little skeptical.
-Brad, can I talk to you a minute?
-Brad, I really fuckin' hate McDonald's, man. Ever since they started in with the chicken, everything went downhill.
-You want to work at Carl's?
-Oh, man, if you could swing something there, I'd do anything for you. I want to work with you guys.
-I can probably get you in there. Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.
-Were those flowers really for me, Brad?
-Of course.
-How much did they cost?
-What's there to do at the Point? God, Lisa, we've been going together almost two years, and...
-Brad. I don't want to have to use sex as a tool.
-Tool? Tool for what? We've been going together almost two years!
-Man, I don't even want to see those guys from Carl's again.
-If you'd apologize I think Dennis would take you back.
-I'm just glad we're still together, Lisa, because I need you this year.
-Something happened to them, mon.
-Go ahead. Just make it quick.
-Totally.
-I can't find it, mon!
-It's the first door on your left!
-On the ledge?
-First door on your left!
-Easy, mon.
-Hamilton, come over here. What is that you've got on?
-This is how I dress all the time.
-But you took off your Captain Kidd uniform.
-Come on, Hamilton. You're going over there to represent Captain Kidd Fish and Chips. We have stores all over Southern California. Part of our image, part of our appeal is in our uniforms. You know that!
-You really want me to put all this stuff back on?
-Well, I believe you have to fill out a form. There's a pad right around here.
-No. I want my money back right now.
-Well, that's not the way it works, really. And you ate most of your food already, too...
-I can't do that. But if you wait a minute...
-Look. Just put your little hand back in the cash register and give me my $2.75 back. Okay? Please, Brad?
-I'm sorry, sir. Just let me find the forms here.
-Mister, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna kick 100% of your ass.
-Hi, Brad.
-Everyone wants to know where Lisa is. How should I know where Lisa is? What am I gonna do? Now my little sister goes to the same high school. The party's over. So who do you have first period?
-U.S. History. Mr. Hand.
-Mom says to clean up the pool.
-Why can't you do it?
-Your friends use the pool. Your friends messed it up.
-Your friends use the pool too.
-I take out the garbage.
-Brad! Have Mom or Dad seen this?
-They're not home yet.
-Brad, what would you say if I asked you to just put these flowers in the trunk of the Cruising Vessel and get rid of them at work?
-I'd say... who the hell is Ron Johnson?
-Thanks for getting rid of those flowers.
-Don't worry about it. Who sent the flowers?
-It's just some guy I met at Swenson's. You don't know him.
-Is everything okay at work?
-Are you kidding? Work is great. I kill at work. I don't even mind Mom and Dad making me pay rent.
-You're going to break up with Lisa, aren't you?
-I've been doing some thinking. It's my last school year. I'm a single, successful guy. I think I want my freedom.
-Why? Because she won't sleep with you?
-Where did you hear that?
-I'm just guessing.
-Well... it's true.
-Maybe you just need to give her some time. She's so nice, Brad. Everybody loves Lisa.
-Hey, Brad. Are you still a virgin?
-Why?
-I don't know. I was just curious.
-Maybe yes. Maybe no.
-You are a virgin!
-I didn't say that.
-Are you still a virgin?
-Maybe yes. Maybe no.
-Does Mom know you have company?
-Yeah. This is it. I have some shopping to do.
-See you later.
-Since when do you shop at the Flea Market anyway?
-You're not going to tell me, are you?
-No.
-Any problems?
-Did you throw away those fries, Hamilton?
-They were left over from the last shift.
-Those were perfectly good fries, Hamilton. Perfectly good.
-Come on. Clean that counter off Brad. Let's go. Play ball.
-Did you threaten this man or use profanity in any way?
-He insulted me first. He called me a moron.
-Did you threaten this customer or use profanity in any way?
-Yes, sir.
-Dad says you have to get up!
-Leave me alone!
-Dad says you're late again, you butthole!
-Leave me alone.
-Jeff you have company!
-Nice to meet you, Stacy.
-Hey! We came over to help you with Math homework!
-Well, that's exactly why I brought some Wisk for the jacuzzi.
-I can't wait until I can drive next year. I walk every day. It's such a drag.
-Get a ride with somebody.
-Sometimes I get a ride with my brother. But he usually works in the mornings, and then drives to school himself.
-You know Mark Ratner really likes you. You like him?
-Do you have any ice tea?
-I guess the annuals are coming in pretty soon. Are you going to get one?
-I don't know.
-Aren't you curious to see how your class picture turned out?
-Do you want to take a quick swim?
-Well...
-Pick a suit.
-Are you really a virgin?
-Listen. I feel pretty strange here. Because Mark really likes you, and he's my friend.
-You're a really good kisser.
-So are you. Are you shaking?
-Why don't you take off your clothes, Mike?
-You first.
-I want you to know that it's your final decision if we should continue or not.
-Hey, Mike?
-What? Are you all right?
-I think we're making a lot of noise.
-What's wrong?
-I think I came. Didn't you feel it?
-Oh. Hi.
-I didn't see you this morning.
-Look, I'm kind of in a hurry.
-I'm in a hurry too. I just thought I could say hi to you.
-What's going on?
-Mike, there's something that's been on my mind and I have to tell you about it.
-Why don't you call me up tonight?
-How do you know it's mine? We only did it once.
-Take that back.
-There's only one thing we can do. We've got to get rid of it. We've got to get an abortion.
-We've got to get an abortion?
-Yeah. My brother Art got his girlfriend one once.
-It's already planned, Mike. It's going to cost $150 at the Free Clinic.
-Doesn't sound free to me. So you want me to pay for it?
-Half. Okay? Seventy-five dollars. And a ride to the clinic.
-Mike! You have a mess on C-9!
-All right. All right. I just cleaned B-8. Give me a break.
-Do you ever look at those girls who work at Swenson's? They're beautiful. And I have to stand out here and watch them six nights a week.
-You... are a wuss. Part wimp. Part pussy.
-What do you mean -- wuss? This girl is my exact type. It's her. Definitely her.
-It's definitely your mama.
-All right... where did you see her?
-She's in my biology class.
-Did you get her number?
-No.
-Did you get her name?
-No. It's too soon.
-It's never too soon! Girls decide how far to let you go in the first five minutes.
-Well, what do you want me to do? Go up to this strange girl in my biology class and say, 'Hello! I'd like you to take your clothes off and jump on me?'
-I would. Yeah.
-Really?
-I can see it all now. This is going to be just like the girl you fell in love with at Fotomat this summer. You bought forty bucks of fuckin' film and you never even talked to her.
-You tell me, Mike. What do I do?
-Don't talk to her. Let her know. Use your face. Use your body. Use everything. This is what I do. I just sent out the vibe and I have personally found that... girls do respond. Something happens.
-Of course something happens. You put the vibe out to thirty million chicks, you know something's gonna happen.
-That's the idea, Rat. That's The Attitude.
-The business is changing, Rat. I'll tell you, these kids today... they don't even listen to Aerosmith.
-I hear they all dress like that at Lincoln now.
-Hey, Rat.
-Yeah?
-Knock it off, Damone. I need real help.
-Okay. Tell me. What's the Five Point Plan?
-And that is how you talk to a girl, Rat. Voila. You can't miss.
-I think I've got it. Once I get going, I'll be okay. But... how do I get started? I mean, I hardly know her.
-Yo.
-Damone. It's Mark.
-Mark. What happened to your date?
-It's happening right now. I'm here at the Atlantis. Everything's fine except... I left my wallet at home.
-Did you go home and get it?
-Damone, are you there?
-Hey, Mark. Is that you?
-Damone! You come here?
-I come for the seafood. It's great! Hey... you know what, Mark? I found your wallet the other day. You want it back?
-Well, I've gotta be running.
-Poor guy.
-No. I don't think so. Not right now.
-If you ask me, she's pretty aggressive. You understand what I'm saying?
-No Damone. I don't understand.
-She wasn't really your girlfriend anyway.
-Hey fuck you Damone. There's a lot of girls out there and you mess around with Stacy. What have you got to prove?
-Jesus. I'm sorry.
-I always stick up for you. Whenever people say 'Aw, that Damone is a loudmouth' -- and they say that a lot -- I say 'You just don't know Damone.' When someone says you're an idiot, I tell them 'Damone's not an idiot. You just don't know him.' Well, you know, Damone, maybe they do know you pretty good. And I'm just finding out.
-You're losing it, Damone.
-The Attitude, Damone, is only good until you meet the right girl.
-And... you can only tell it's the right girl if you're sensitive.
-Sensitive -- what is that?
-Sensitive is when you can tell how people feel without asking.
-So what makes you so sensitive?
-Well, for one, I read. I don't watch as much television as you. I'm trying to feel things more. I'm learning a lot about people.
-What do you read? What's the last book you read?
-Lust For Life. It's the story of Vincent Van Gough.
-Yeah, well, I saw the movie. That must mean I'm sensitive too.
-Are you Linda Barrett?
-Yes.
-All right, what you want to do is go to the Free Clinic and tell the doctor that you have sex regularly -- several times a week -- and that you need Nornel One Plus Fifty's.
-And they don't call my parents?
-Not if you're over sixteen.
-Okay. Thanks a lot, Linda.
-How've you been?
-Outrageous, Merv. Nice to be here. I feel great.
-I was going to say... your eyes look a little red.
-Seriously, Merv, everything is great. I was thinking about picking up some hash this weekend, maybe going up to the mountains.
-I wanted to talk a little bit about school, if I could...
-School. School is no problem. All you have to do is go to get the grades. And if you know something, all you have to do is go about half the time.
-How often do you go?
-I hear you brought a film clip with you. Do you want to set it up for us?
-Merv, this is the action down at Sunset Cliffs at about six in the morning.
-Who's that?
-Are you going to ride that wave?
-What's going through your mind right here, Jeff? The danger of it all?
-Hey, slow down. This is my brother's car.
-I thought he was out of town.
-He is.
-Seen the new Playboy?
-Naw. Any good?
-Suzanne Somers' tits.
-All right.
-What the fuck is this guy doing?
-It's a bunch of Jocks in a Granada!
-My brother's car!
-We just missed the turnoff to the party.
-My brother is going to kill us. He's gonna kill you and then he's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill us.
-Just be glad you're all right.
-My brother is gonna shit.
-Make up your mind. Is he gonna shit, or is he gonna kill us?
-First he's gonna shit. And then he's gonna kill us.
-Will you just relax, mon? He's not gonna kill us. My father is a television repairman. He's got all kinds of tools. I can fix-this car.
-That's him! He did it!
-How's it going.
-Don't you like him?
-Yeah, but I fucked up. You can take it. Really.
-Come on, Stacy, it's your section and your man.
-What should I do?
-He gave me his card. 'Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant.'
-Should we buy a frame for that?
-Come on, Linda, I haven't had a boyfriend all summer. You promised when I started working at the mall that my life would change... Do you think he'll call this week?
-Listen, Stace, you want to know about guys? I'll tell you. They're mostly chicken. Before I met Doug I chased after every guy I thought was cute. I thought if I gave out a vibe they'd get the message and call me up. Well, guess what? They don't call.
-So what did you do?
-I called them. If I was sitting next to a guy and I wanted to sit closer, I'd sit closer. If I wanted to kiss him, I'd just do it. You want Ron Johnson? Grab him.
-Face it. With some guys you have to make the first move. A lot of guys are just... wussies.
-Really?
-Stacy, what are you waiting for? You're fifteen. I did it when I was thirteen. It's no huge thing. It's just sex. If you don't, one of the other girls will.
-He was hot, wasn't he?
-I can't believe I start high school tomorrow.
-I hear some surfer pulled a knife on Mr. Hand this morning.
-No way! He just called him a dick.
-Linda. That girl looks just like Pat Benatar.
-Do you think guys find that attractive?
-Yeah but they look more sophisticated. You'd probably think they'd be better in bed.
-What do you mean 'better in bed.' You either do it or you don't.
-No there are variables that, like, I might not be good at.
-What variables?
-Like, you know, giving blow jobs.
-What's the big deal?
-Well I never did it.
-Just kidding. About 10cc.
-Was it great?
-It was okay.
-You'll always remember your first time.
-It was nice.
-So tell me, do you like Ron? Is it serious?
-Come on, Linda. It's just sex.
-There... There's his car. I know he's at work tonight. He hasn't come into Swenson's since he called my house. My mother told him I was still at high school, after I told him I was nineteen. I guess I should tell him I'm fifteen.
-Don't you dare, you'll never hear from him again.
-Does Doug care that you're seventeen?
-Doug sees beyond that stuff to what the person inside is like. That's why I'm marrying him.
-If he ever calls again I'll say I'm eighteen.
-You've got to get used to working Christmas. People are always screaming and yelling... then they get home and they're all Christmasy.
-I think Christmas brings out the worst in people.
-I guess Ron hasn't called yet.
-Don't you think it meant anything to him. Even if I am fifteen?
-I should quit this job. I'm going to get so fat working here... nobody will ever take me out.
-Stacy. How many times do I have to tell you? You are really going to be beautiful... someday.
-What do you think of that guy who works at the theatre? You know, Mark Ratner.
-Oh, come on. What is he? Fifteen?
-I sent a letter to Doug today. I'll be so glad when he gets out here.
-You really ought to look at this, Linda. There's a drawing on every page... and all these quizzes. It's like school.
-Listen to this... 'What are your mate's three most erogenous zones?'
-Okay, penis, that's one, balls...
-Wouldn't penis and balls be the same category?
-You're right. Probably penis, mouth and neck.
-All right! Here's another one. 'The most satisfactory lovemaking occurs when your mate climaxes first, you climax first, you and your mate climax together?'
-Climax together.
-Does that ever happen?
-No. But it's a nice idea.
-How long does Doug take?
-I don't know. Thirty to forty minutes.
-What's Doug do in Chicago?
-What do you think?
-I didn't ask for any help. Did you, Linda?
-God, he hardly even talks anymore.
-Stacy! I've got water in my ears. Do you have any Q-Tips?
-God, Stacy, it's not that sad. It's just David Soul and Ricardo Montalban.
-You have been acting very strange the last few weeks.
-What do you think it is?
-What do you think it is?
-It couldn't be.
-It could be. I had a pregnancy test at the clinic. I'll find out Monday. I guess it was Damone.
-Of course it was Damone. If it was Ron Johnson, you'd be out to here!
-I'm not going to tell him. He's an asshole. I hate him.
-You know, there's one thing you didn't tell me about guys.
-What?
-You didn't tell me that they can be so nice, so great... but then you sleep with them and they start acting like they're five years old.
-I really thought he would show up. I waited... and waited... and waited...
-That little prick.
-Then I called his house, and his mother told me he was in the garage helping his father.
-That little prick.
-I paid for it and everything.
-There goes your stereo for another year. Mike Damone is a no-brain little prick. I'm not letting him get away with this.
-Don't do anything, Linda. I'd rather just forget about it. I don't even like the guy.
-Another summer of working at Swenson's.
-Come on. There's lots of men around here. Keep your eyes open.
-You know, Linda. I've finally figured it out. It's not sex I want. Anyone can have sex.
-What do you want?
-I want romance.
-Where's Doug?
-He's not coming.
-Not coming? What happened?
-He says he's got to stay in Chicago. He says I should visit him sometimes.
-Sometime?
-Yeah, like maybe never.
-But what are you going to do?
-Well I might go to Dartmouth.
-Dartmouth?!
-I didn't tell anyone I applied cause I never thought I'd make it.
-I can't believe it! But what about Doug?
-There's a world of guys out there. I just wish I didn't have to date any of them.
-Yeah. I'm registered for this class.
-What class?
-This is U.S. History, right? I saw the globe in the window.
-Can I come in?
-Mr. Spicoli?
-You just ripped my card in two!
-Yes.
-Hey! Wait a minute! There's no birthday party for me here!
-Thank you, Desmond. What's the reason for your truancy?
-I couldn't make it in time.
-You mean, you couldn't? Or you wouldn't?
-I don't know, mon. The food lines took forever.
-Food will be eaten on your time! Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?
-Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?
-Learning about Cuba. Having some food.
-Mr. Spicoli, you're on dangerous ground here. You're causing a major disturbance in my class and on my time.
-You better save some for me, you swine!
-Mr... Mr. Hand.
-Were you going somewhere tonight, Jeff?
-Yeah. The Graduation Dance Mr. Hand. It's the last school event of the year.
-I'm afraid we've got some things to discuss here, Jeff.
-Do you want to sit there, Jeff?
-I don't know. I guess so.
-Now, Mr. Spicoli, comes a rare moment for me. Now I have the unique pleasure of squaring our account. Tonight, you and I are going to talk in great detail about the Davis Agreement, all the associated treaties, and the American Revolution in particular. Now if you can just turn to Chapter 47 of Lord of Truth And Liberty.
-Hey, it's in my locker, Mr. Hand.
-I think I've made my point with you tonight.
-Hey, Mr. Hand, can I ask you a question?
-What's that?
-Do you have a guy like me every year? A guy to... I don't know, make a show of. Teach other kids lessons and stuff?
-Well, you'll find out next year.
-No way, mon. When I graduate U.S. history I ain't even coming over to your side of the building.
-If you graduate.
-Don't worry, Spicoli. You'll probably squeak by.
-Aloha, Mr. Hand!
-You look like you could still be in high school.
-What can I get for you tonight.
-Thanks for picking me up.
-'The Cuer-vo Gold, the fi-ine Columbian.' You look nice tonight.
-Thanks. So do you.
-Where do you feel like going?
-I don't know. Wherever you want.
-How about the point?
-The point sounds fine.
-That's a nice shirt.
-It's very warm out tonight.
-Are you really nineteen?
-I think I better take you home.
-What about those other guys you live with?
-Is this your first time?
-What do you do with the jackets people leave here?
-We keep them.
-You keep them.
-What's your other question?
-Do you have a pen? This one's out of ink.
-Thanks for coming to get me.
-This is a nice car.
-Do you have Mrs. George for English?
-Yeah. She is pretty good.
-Joey at Cinema Four said this is a pretty good restaurant.
-Do you know what you want?
-I think I'll have the Seafood Salad Special.
-Are you all right?
-Do you mind if I excuse myself for a moment?
-Sure. I'll... have another Coke.
-I had a really nice time tonight.
-I never thought it would happen at The Atlantis. Jeez.
-Do you want to come inside?
-Aren't your parents asleep?
-No, they're away for the weekend. Brad and I are watching the house.
-Where's your brother?
-I don't know. Probably out. Want something to drink?
-No. That's okay.
-Well, I'm going to change real quick. I hope you don't mind.
-So... pretty nice house you've got here.
-I don't know.
-Do you want to see some pictures? I kept a lot of scrapbooks and pictures and stuff from junior high. How stupid, right?
-This is me in the eighth grade. Did you have Mr. Deegan?
-...I've got to go home.
-Do you really have to go?
-Where's Mike today?
-Today's April 16th. Damone never comes to school on April 16th.
-What's April 16th?
-It's John Bonham's birthday.
-John Bonham?
-John Bonham. The drummer for Led Zeppelin. He died a couple years ago. Every birthday he stays home and plays everything John Bonham ever recorded. It's like his own holiday.
-I made a fool of myself.
-Nobody noticed. Don't worry about it. We'll just stay out here until everyone comes out, we'll blend back in.
-What about the notes?
-Hi, Mark.
-Hi, Stacy. How are you?
-Yeah? About fifty people I didn't know wrote that in my annual.
-Really?
-Well, I don't know, I may be doing some traveling this summer. I don't know how much I'll be around... But I'll give you a call sometime.
-Are you ready to order here?
-Well... sure. She will have the Seafood Salad Special. And I will have... the same.
-Anything to drink?
-Two Cokes.
-Are you sure there's nothing else I can bring you?
-Sir? This telegram came for you. Actually, it isn't for you. It's for somebody named Thompson, but it says 'care of Raoul Duke'. Does that make sense?
-I checked the register for this man Thompson. We don't show him but I figured he might be part of your team.
-What confused us was Dr. Gonzo's signature on the telegram from Los Angeles. When we knew he was right here in the hotel.
-You did the right thing. Never try to understand a press message. About half the time we use codes -- especially with Dr. Gonzo.
-Tell me. When will the doctor be awake?
-Well... the manager, Mr. Heem, would like to meet him. Nothing unusual. Mr. Heem likes to meet all our large accounts... put them on a personal basis... just a chat and a handshake, you understand.
-But he will be available? Perhaps later this morning?
-Look. That telegram was all scrambled. It was actually from Thompson, not to him. Western Union must have gotten the names reversed. I have to get going. I have to get out to the track.
-There's no hurry! The race is over!
-Let's have lunch!
-Of course, I could hear what the Clerk was really saying...
-Certainly, Mr. Duke!
-Oh, and could I get a quart of Wild Turkey, two fifths of Baccardi, and a night's worth of ice delivered to my room, please?
-Don't worry about a thing, sir. Just enjoy your stay.
-What's the message? My light is blinking.
-Ah, yes. Mr. Duke? You have one message: "Call Lucy at the Americana Hotel, room 1600."
-Mr. Duke? Hello, Mr. Duke, I'm sorry we were cut off a moment ago... I thought I should call again, because I was wondering...
-WHAT? What was that crazy bitch said to him? There's a war on, man! People are being killed!
-Killed?
-IN VIETNAM! ON THE GODDAMN TELEVISION!
-Oh... yes... yes... This terrible war. When will it end?
-The woman who left that message for you sounded very disturbed. I think she was crying...
-Crying? Why was she crying?
-Well, uh. She didn't say Mr. Duke. But since I know you're here with the Police Convention...
-Look, you want to be gentle with that woman if she ever calls again. We're watching her very carefully... this woman has been into laudanum. It's a controlled experiment, but I suspect we'll need your cooperation before this thing is over.
-Well, certainly... We're always happy to cooperate with the police...
-Don't worry. You're protected. Just treat this poor woman like you'd treat any other human being in trouble.
-What? Ah... yes, yes, I see what you mean... Yes... so, you'll be responsible then?
-Rum and ice, please.
-You're another one of these California boys. Your friend here's been tellin' us about dope fiends.
-They're everywhere. Nobody's safe. And sure as hell not in the South. They like warm weather... You'd never believe it. In L.A. it's out of control. First it was drugs, now it's witchcraft.
-Naw! That's science fiction stuff!
-Naked!?
-Cut their goddamn heads off. Every one of them. That's what we're doing in California.
-Hell, no. We'd never hear the goddamn end of it.
-Dobermans don't talk.
-I'm a whiskey man myself. We don't have much trouble from drugs where I come from...
-You will. One of these nights you'll wake up and find a junkie tearing your bedroom apart.
-Naw!
-They'll climb right into your bedroom and sit on your chest with big Bowie knives. They might even sit on your wife's chest. Put the blade right down on her throat.
-What happened? What did they do to her?
-Do? Jesus Christ, man. They chopped her goddamn head off right there in the parking lot! Then they cut all kinds of holes in her head and sucked out the blood!
-Yeh. The big guy used to be a major in the Marines.
-A major!
-We know where he lives, but we can't get near the house.
-Naw! Not a major.
-He wanted the pineal gland.
-Really?
-Hell, I really hate to hear this. Because everything that happens in California seems to get down our way, sooner or later. Mostly Atlanta. But that was back when the goddamn bastards were peaceful. All we had to do was to keep 'em under surveillance. They didn't roam around much... But now Jesus, it seems nobody's safe.
-You're going to need to take the bull by the horns -- go to the mat with this scum.
-What do you mean by that?
-Where ya comin' from, young man?
-Las Vegas.
-A great town, that Vegas. I bet you had good luck there. You're the type.
-I know. I'm a triple Scorpio.
-Oh, my God!...
-This is my granddaughter...
-I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney! He's not just some dingbat I found on the Strip. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But it doesn't matter, does it? Are you prejudiced?
-Hell, no!
-I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is extremely valuable to me. Hell, I forgot all about this beer. You want one? How about some ether?
-What?
-Thanks for the ride. Thanks a lot. I like you guys. Don't worry about me.
-"One toke over the line, sweet Jesus."
-We're your friends. We're not like the others.
-If so -- well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere. Because it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency, and they'll run us down like dogs...
-Jesus! Did I say that?
-Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?
-God hell! I think I see the pattern! This one sounds like real trouble! You're going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. As your attorney I must advise you that you'll need a very fast car with no top and after that, the cocaine. And then the tape recorder, for special music, and some Acapulco shirts... This blows my
-I tell you, my man. This is the American Dream in action! We'd be fools not to ride this strange torpedo all the way to the end.
-O.K., O.K., yes. Hang onto it. We'll be there in thirty minutes. I finally located a car with adequate horsepower and the proper coloring. What?! OF COURSE the gentleman has a major credit card! Do you realize who the fuck you're talking to?
-Don't take any guff from these swine. Now we need a sound store with the finest equipment. Nothing dinky. One of those new Belgian Heliowatts with a voice-activated shotgun mike, for picking up conversations in oncoming cars.
-We won't make the nut unless we have unlimited credit.
-...and we're chock full of that!
-Damn right!
-He said he understood, but I could see in his eyes that he didn't. He was lying to me.
-Where's the medicine?
-Turn up the fucking music! My heart feels like an alligator! Volume! Clarity! Bass! We must have bass! What's wrong with us? Are you goddamn old ladies?
-You scurvy shyster bastard! Watch your language! You're talking to a Doctor of Journalism!
-What the fuck are we doing out here? Somebody call the police! We need help!
-Pay no attention to this swine. He can't handle the medicine.
-Savage Henry has cashed his check! We're going to rip his lungs out!
-Oh, Jesus! Did you see what god just did to us?
-God didn't do that! You did it! You're a fucking narcotics agent, that was our cocaine, you pig!
-You better be careful. Plenty of vultures out here. They'll pick your bones clean before morning.
-How long do I have?
-Maybe thirty more minutes. As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed. It'll be a goddamn miracle if we can get there before you turn into a wild animal. Are you ready for that? Checking into a Vegas hotel under a phony name with intent to commit capital fraud and a head full of acid.
-Two Cuba Libres with beer and mescal on the side. Who's Lacerda, he's waiting for us in a room on the twelfth floor?
-I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo. And somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things! It won't be long before they tear us to shreds!
-I just went upstairs to see this man Lacerda. I told him I knew what he was up to... He says he's a photographer! But when I mentioned Savage Henry he freaked! He knows we're onto him!
-That's the press table. Where you have to sign in for our credentials. Shit, let's get it over with. You handle that, and I'll check on the room.
-Shoot it.
-What are you talking about?
-That's good...
-I think he's lying to us. I could see it in his eyes.
-Total control now. Tooling along the main drag on a Saturday night in Vegas, two good old boys in a fire apple red convertible... stoned, ripped, twisted... Good people!
-How about "Nickel Nick's Slot Arcade?" "Hot Slots," that sounds heavy. Twenty- nine cent hotdogs...
-Look, what are we doing here? Are we here to entertain ourselves, or to do the job?
-Why?
-Holy shit! They almost had us there! That was quick thinking.
-Jesus creeping shit!
-Did the mescaline just kick in? Or was that Debbie Reynolds in a silver Afro wig?!
-This is the place. They'll never fuck with us here.
-Some angry Rotarian shoves you and you think: What's happening here? What's going on? Then you hear yourself mumbling.
-Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of mine. Watch out!... Why money? My name is Brinks; I was born... Born?
-I hate to say this, but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting The Fear.
-Nonsense. We came here to find the American Dream, and now we're right in the vortex you want to quit. You must realize that we've found the Main Nerve.
-That's what gives me The Fear.
-Look over there. Two women fucking a Polar Bear.
-Please, don't tell me those things... Not now. This is my last drink. How much money can you lend me?
-Not much. Why?
-I have to go.
-GO?
-Yes. Leave the country. Tonight.
-Calm down. You'll be straight in a few hours.
-No. This is serious. One more hour in this town and I'll kill somebody!
-OK. I'll lend you some money. Let's go outside and see how much we have left.
-Can we make it?
-That depends on how many people we fuck with between here and the door.
-I want to leave fast.
-OK. Lets pay this bill and get up very slowly. It's going to be a long walk.
-When does this thing stop?
-Did you see that? Some sonofabitch kicked me in the back.
-Probably the bartender. He wanted to stomp you for what you said to the waitress.
-Good God! Let's get out of here! Where's the elevator?
-Don't run. They'd like any excuse to shoot us.
-Yeah... I thought we might need it...
-Let's go up there and blast him out of bed with the fire hose.
-No, we should leave the poor bastard alone. I get the feeling that he's avoiding us for some reason.
-Don't kid yourself. That Portuguese son of a bitch is dangerous. He's watching us like a hawk.
-That dirty bastard! I knew it! He's got hold of my woman!
-That little blonde groupie with the film crew? You think he sodomized her?
-Where'd you get that knife?
-Room service sent it up. I wanted something to cut the limes.
-What limes?
-Have you made a deal with him? Did you put him on to her?
-You evil son of a bitch. You better hope there's some Thorazine in that bag, because if there's not, you're in bad trouble.
-Music! Turn it up. Put that tape on.
-What tape?
-Jefferson Airplane. "White Rabbit." I want a rising sound.
-You're doomed. I'm leaving here in two hours and then they're going to come up here and beat the mortal shit out of you with big saps. Right there in that tub.
-I dig my own graves. Green water and the White Rabbit. Put it on.
-Of course, I'm your attorney, I'll give you all the time you need, at my normal rates: $45 an hour -- but you'll be wanting a cushion, so, why don't you just lay one of those $100 bills down there beside the radio, and fuck off?
-How about a check?
-I want that fucking radio!
-Don't touch it! Get back in that tub!
-Not me. It would blast you through the wall -- stone dead in ten seconds and they'd make me explain it!
-BULLSHIT! Don't make me use this.
-Jesus.
-Fuck yes. I was beginning to think I was going to have to go out and get one of the goddamn maids to do it.
-You bastard! You'd do that, wouldn't you?
-Why worry? You'll like it. Nothing in the world like a Mace high. Forty- five minutes on your knees with the dry heaves...
-You cheap honky sonofabitch...
-Why not? Hell, just a minute ago, you were asking me to kill you! And now you want to kill me! What I should do, goddamnit, is call the police!
-The cops?
-There's no choice. I wouldn't dare go to sleep with you wandering around with a head full of acid and wanting to slice me up with that goddamn knife!
-You bastard! I need a lawyer immediately!
-What are you doing in Baker? Didn't you get my telegram?
-What? Fuck telegrams. I'm in trouble. You worthless bastard. I'll cripple your ass for this! All that shit in the car is yours! You understand that? When I finish testifying out here you'll be disbarred!
-You degenerate pig!
-WELL? What are your plans?
-Plans?
-Lucy.
-Shit. I met her on the plane and I had all that acid. You know, those little blue barrels. I gave her a cap before I realized... she's a religious freak... Jesus, she's never even had a drink.
-Listen, she's running away from home for something like the fifth time in six months. It's terrible.
-Jesus Christ. I knew you were sick but I never expected to hear you actually say that kind of stuff.
-It's straight economics. This girl is a god-send. Shit, she can make us a grand a day.
-NO! Stop talking like that.
-I figure she can do about four at a time. Christ, if we keep her full of acid that's more like two grand a day. Maybe three.
-You filthy bastard. I should cave your fucking head in.
-NO! I felt sorry for the girl, I wanted to help her!
-The only alternative was to take her out to the desert and feed her remains to the lizards. But, it seemed a bit heavy for the thing we were trying to protect: My attorney.
-We have to cut her loose. She's got two hundred dollars. And we can always call the cops up there in Montana, where she lives, and turn her in.
-What?... What kind of goddamn monster are you?
-It just occurred to me, that she has no witnesses. Anything that she says about us is completely worthless.
-Okay, Lucy, it's time to go meet Barbra...
-I gave the cabbie an extra ten bucks to make sure she gets there safe. Also, I told him I'd be there myself in an hour, and if she wasn't, I'd come back out here and rip his lungs out.
-That's good. You can't be subtle in this town.
-As your attorney, I advise you to tell me where you put the goddamn mescaline.
-Maybe we should take it easy tonight.
-I saw these bastards in Easy Rider, but I didn't believe they were real. Not like this. Not hundreds of them!
-They're actually nice people when you get to know them.
-Man, I know these people in my goddamn blood!
-Don't mention that word around here. You'll get them excited.
-This is a fucking nightmare.
-Read the newspapers.
-Hell, in Malibu alone, these goddamn Satan worshippers kill six or eight people every day. All they want is the blood. They'll take people right off the street if they have to.
-What could they do? The guy that took the head was about six-seven, and maybe three-hundred pounds. He was packing two Lugers, and the others had M-16s.
-They just ran back out into Death Valley -- you know, where Manson turned up...
-Like big lizards.
-Yeh, naked!... except for the weapons.
-What's wrong with you? Hell, somebody has to do it.
-Sure. It's all on the Q.T., but everybody who matters is with us all the way down the line.
-Sometimes it's easier to just rip out the backstraps.
-Good work. They'll treat us like goddamn lepers after that.
-Lucy is looking for you.
-No, she's looking for you.
-Me?
-OK, goddamnit!... Look... I'll call her. I'll get her off our backs. You're right. She's my problem.
-It's gone too far.
-What is this?
-Adrenochrome...
-Hi, Lucy? Yeah, it's me. I got your message... what? Hell, no, I taught the bastard a lesson he'll never forget... what? No, not dead, but he won't be bothering anybody for a while. Yeah. I left him out there, I stomped him, then pulled all his teeth out...
-I remember slumping on the bed, his performance had given me a bad jolt. For a moment I thought his mind had snapped -- that he actually believed he was being attacked by invisible enemies. But the room was quiet again.
-Where'd you get this?
-Never mind, it's absolutely pure.
-I know, but the guy didn't have any cash to pay me. He's one of these Satanism freaks. He offered me human blood -- said it would take me higher than I've ever been in my life. I thought he was kidding, so I told him I'd just as soon have an ounce or so of pure adrenochrome -- or maybe just a fresh
-Why not? We should get some of that. Just eat a big handful and see what happens.
-Some of what?
-Extract of pineal!
-Sure. That's a good idea. One whiff of that shit would turn you into something out of a goddamn medical encyclopedia.
-Man, your head would swell up like a watermelon, you'd probably gain about a hundred pounds in two hours...
-Right!
-...grow claws... bleeding warts.
-Yes!
-Man I'll try about anything; but I'd never touch a pineal gland.
-So do we, lady.
-I think we should put her on the payroll. See what she comes up with.
-Alright, Alice... you'll be contacted by Inspector Rock. Arthur Rock. He'll be posing as a politician.
-Fuck the car. They should make these things with a goddamn FM radio.
-There was nothing in the atmosphere of the North Star to put me on my guard...
-I was stupid with shock -- not knowing whether to run or start laughing.
-How much is the lemon meringue pie?
-What are you doing? You were supposed to turn back there!
-The airport is over there!
-No! I can't get out! They'll crucify me. I'll have to take the blame!
-Ridiculous! Just say you were hitchhiking to the airport and I picked you up. You never saw me before. Shit, this town is full of white Cadillac convertibles. I plan to go through there so fast that nobody will even glimpse the goddamn license plate. You ready?
-Don't take any guff from those swine. Remember, if you have any trouble you can always send a telegram to the Right People.
-Please... please... I'm only the maid. I didn't mean nothin!...
-What made you do it? Who paid you off?
-The dope ring. You must know what's going on in this hotel. Why do you think we're here?
-Maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe she's not part of it.
-You'd pay me for that?
-You're damn right. But the first time you say anything about this, to anybody -- you'll go straight to prison for the rest of your life. What's your name?
-The password is: "One Hand Washes The Other." The minute you hear that, you say "I fear nothing."
-May I see your license.
-Could I have that, please?
-You realize...
-Yeah. I know. I'm guilty. I understand that. I knew it was a crime but I did it anyway. Shit, why argue? I'm a fucking criminal.
-You know -- I get the feeling you could use a nap. There's a rest area up ahead. Why don't you pull over and sleep a few hours?
-Okay. Here's how it is. What goes into my book, as of noon, is that I apprehended you... for driving too fast, and advised you to proceed no further than the next rest area... your stated destination, right? Where you plan to take a long nap. Do I make myself clear?
-How far is Baker? I was hoping to stop there for lunch.
-Not my jurisdiction. The city limits are two point two miles beyond the rest area. Can you make it that far?
-You're lying! You were after the evidence. Who put you up to this -- the manager?
-I don't know what you're talking about!
-Bullshit! You're just as much a part of it as they are!
-Come on, baby don't try to tell us you never heard of the Grange Gorman.
-In that case, maybe she can help.
-What?
-Oh Lord! I'd do just about anything for that!
-Oh, and don't bother to make up the room. That way we won't have to risk another of these little incidents, will we?
-Whatever you say, gentlemen. I can't tell you how sorry I am about what happened...
-It serves you right. You cheatin' jerk.
-Spare me.
-Stop!
-What the fuck are you doing he's in there!
-YOU'RE KILLING HIM!
-You can't keep me here. This is bullshit. Fuckin' bullshit. This is fucking BULLSHIT!
-We can't risk letting them in.
-Careful.
-I will not die because of him!
-We should go! We should go right now!
-Are you two all right? Did you see that!? They left! We made it! I think we made it!
-They'll be back.
-You know where it is?
-We'll meet in three hours?
-Where are you two going?
-Sorry, didn't mean to scare you.
-Where is everyone?
-IS IT CLEAR?!
-Yeah.
-IS THERE A GUN POINTING AT YOU?
-My god damn foot is gone! Who fuckin' shot me? Who fuckin' shot me!?
-Well, it don't look pretty.
-I got my .38 here. That's six shots and two refills. Downstairs, I think we got another rifle, maybe a scatterer and some gardening tools. Maybe a couple boxes of shells for The Judge.
-I don't think you should...
-One keg of Beast for the basement, then, truck's dry.
-I have a CB in my truck, we could get some help out here.
-Who the hell would you call?
-Stop it.
-We shot a skunk.
-Hey! Get quiet or get out.
-I think I know where a CB is.
-Where's that?
-Okay, now. Easy steps. Easy breaths. Easy steps.
-Oh!
-Wha?
-You got something better?
-We'll be food, dickheads!
-Well, your last words can be "I told you so."
-That's the oldest of the bunch, looked like the Grandpapa. We caught the little one, Junior, in the cooler there. As we've seen, what he lacks in size he more than makes up for in speed.
-And the rest of 'em?
-And that's how I ended up here.
-So, your husband ditched you?
-No, no, no it was... it was wild out there, no time to think, we just moved. He didn't leave me. He just ran. He just ran.
-They're right here.
-Jesus Christ, I'm gonna have a stroke.
-Don't bullshit me! If you know a way out of this place and you're holding out --
-What tunnel? Where?
-It's in the basement, about a hundred yards long. It spits out on the backside of that hill down the way. There's a truck there.
-HEY! No, I'm not trusting him either, that's why you and I will both be going with him.
-What!? I'm not going down there again!
-This is it! This is our only way out! They have this place surrounded. We go out the front, we're dead. We go out the back, we're dead, but if we go UNDER them... we might just make it. Now, who else is in? Seven can go.
-You all sure about this?
-Where's the tunnel?
-We just smeared a skunk.
-I'm gonna shoot him if they don't get him first.
-You seem mighty collected about this.
-You're trusting that guy? He'll ditch us and never look back.
-Fuck you too.
-Scared?
-No. You?
-I'd love to be macho, but this is a pants wetter from all angles.
-Ohhh.
-What?
-That's an unwise thing to say, you know that?
-Just an observation.
-So, what now? Did those things leave?
-Why don't you go check it out?
-Any more ideas Animal Planet?
-You weren't helpin'.
-I'm telling ya, you got the cloth too deep, you're asking for it.
-Do you drive a short beer bus or something? You go out there you get eaten, you stay in here you get eaten, anyone comes to help they get eaten. Don't you see a pattern here, Spuds Makenzie?
-Well then I guess we should just give up.
-We're better off.
-Come on!
-What now, Geronimo?
-Why do you take shit from him?
-Look, yeah, he's an ass, but he's my brother. Que sera-sera.
-Your brother, huh?
-Yep.
-Your parents of relation?
-I'm in.
-We're going to get help.
-We gotta try.
-We gotta be close.
-All right! Tell us about the truck!
-My truck can't be more than ten feet away. We load into the back, I can get in the front and we roll out of here.
-What's in the back?
-Yeah, the lot's right there. My truck is right out back.
-It's imperative that you get that truck moving.
-How are you holding up?
-Push and twist, it's child proof.
-Oh.
-What is this?
-Magic potion. You should try a little.
-Oh, no.
-It'll calm your nerves. Works like a charm.
-Really?
-Uh huh. Just put a dab on your tongue.
-Will I go crazy or something?
-No, no, it calms you, makes everything nice and smooth. Just takes the edge off like a beer, but in a fraction of the time.
-Wait, before you do that, help me to the kitchen, I need to lay down. There's a cot back there.
-But --
-It's much safer in there, sweety.
-Doesn't your foot hurt?
-Um-hmmm.
-You wanna see, baby?
-Sure.
-How much you got?
-How much you got to see the show?
-What? Really?
-My husband...
-Well, where's the sonuvabitch!?
-He's dead.
-Jesus Christ on the cross... Someone make sense.
-Easy. We're surrounded by something the likes none of you have ever seen before. Some kind of animals. Real fast, volatile, predators. ONE went through three of your patrons like they were Kleenex.
-So, your dead hubby shot me twice, three of my customers have been eaten, and there are angry creatures outside?
-He only shot you once.
-Huh?
-Will these boards hold?
-The boards are solid oak planks, and the floor is reinforced by a steel grid beneath. Nothing real or supernatural is busting through this, least nothing the size of the beasts.
-In the kitchen, under the sink.
-Go for it. It's by the far wall. A small wave band. Channel 9 is the emergency frequency. But I don't see the point.
-What?
-What?
-What do you mean what?
-Huh?
-What's going on between you two?
-What's it for!?
-Grass. I grow some pot down there. It's no big deal, just something I dabble in. The truck's for a quick get away, deliveries, whatever.
-Is it gassed up?
-Fully.
-Four door?
-Two.
-Open?
-Covered.
-How many?
-Holds four.
-Max?
-Seven.
-Nine?
-Seven.
-Keys.
-What!? So you can just get the hell outta here and forget about all of us!? No way! That's my god damn truck!
-Let me make this clear; if we stay, we die!
-What's that!? Wha'cha say? Huh?
-This one will just stun ya, but this one will put ya to sleep.
-You young'uns worry about weapons, I'm thinkin' bout strategy.
-Oh? And what's that?
-Sit still, look less like a meal.
-I wouldn't do that, son.
-I'll go with ya.
-Welcome back.
-They were all over the place.
-Look, the armed surround the unarmed in a circle and we move as a tight group. Those that can shoot, protect the rest to his ride.
-Bullshit.
-Clever fuckers.
-Blow the goddamn hatch!
-Got 'cha!
-'Eh, Chief?
-Fine, Chief.
-Gimme the keys.
-NO, but I will lock you in.
-What?
-You are taking a chance that is not worth the risk.
-Well, we are one miracle short tonight. So, just guard the stairs?
-What?!
-Move slow and move quiet.
-Move it!
-Shit!
-JUST A BAT! I'M FINE! JUST A BAT! SORRY!
-Hurry!
-SHIT.
-COME ON!
-Yeah, maybe.
-Where the hell are we going to go then, Billy Jack!?
-You don't want the rag to touch the booze, that way you can hold it awhile and ensure it explodes when you throw it.
-You sure? I thought the rag had to touch?
-HELP MEEE!
-I'm in a wheelchair, the truck sounds pretty good.
-Nothin' will happen to you. You get on my back, hold on tight and we truck out of here together.
-Am I too heavy for you?
-OH JESUS!
-Well, maybe they migrate?
-Hey!
-Okay, well... anybody else have an idea?
-Yeah, I'll go.
-Let's move.
-Do we have anything else to defend ourselves with? Anything?
-What's wrong?
-Let's go.
-DON'T!
-Let's wait it out.
-If you are face to face with her, dive left.
-And the last one is the...
-Okay, well that's something.
-There's a rifle and a shotgun here.
-Hold it!
-Let's go!
-If there is only one way out for us, there is only one way in for them.
-Go! Go!
-Not without you!!!
-Get to your cars!
-Oh my God... What is that?
-Cody! Cody are you all right? Mommy's coming! Mommy's coming, baby! Don't move! Mommy's coming!
-Oh sweetheart! What was I thinking? Mommy is never gonna let you go. Oh Jesus... Never, ever, never let you go.
-Shut up! Shut your mouth. You have no idea what is running through me right now. No idea. I'm ready.
-You know you don't have to do this.
-I'm fine, I really am.
-I admire your strength.
-We all have to be strong, right?
-Her name is Charlie.
-Oh...
-She's still alive, I hope. I wouldn't have made it this far if it weren't for the chance of seeing my little girl again. I need to get to her.
-I'll do anything to help.
-I know. Thanks. Just don't tell anyone I have a soft side.
-We should stick together out there.
-Did we make it?
-Hey little bear, aren't you going to join the others?
-Do you have a note to corroborate these claims?
-Um, well...
-Are you lying to me?
-Well...
-What did we say about lying?
-I'm not lying.
-You know that no one likes a liar, right?
-What have you done now, broke the darn thing?
-Well... come on.
-This is a mistake. No. This is a disaster.
-Come on, it's just what you need! Let everyone see you. Talk to them, live it up!
-But we've been at it since six this morning. At least you could've let me go home and change.
-Look, Frances, I didn't want this job. Think I'm crazy? But you begged me: improve your image. So please... lemme try, huh?
-You're right. I'm sorry. Okay, let's go get 'em.
-Here, take a few of these. Studio makes 'em in the basement. They keep the fat off.
-So not only am I a troublesome bitch, but I'm fat too?
-Frances? Oh no.
-Refill my drink, will you, Bob?
-What're you doing?
-Putting on my armor.
-Come on, Frances. Louella Parsons is here. She wants to talk to you, help you out.
-Louella... didn't she call me a spoiled little bitch?
-Come on, she's an important columnist! What's the matter? I thought you wanted these people to forgive you.
-'Forgive'...? For What?
-And on top of her political activities, now she's got a lawyer. She wants out of her contract, Mr. Bebe. She says she's through with motion pictures.
-I'm sure it wasn't me, it wasn't me...
-Excuse me, sir?
-Well... you could always dump her, Mr. Bebe. Teach her a lesson. There are a million beautiful girls out there who don't give a damn about politics.
-That's not the point. Frances Farmer has the world by the tit because of this studio, and now she thinks she can waltz off without a thank you. No. No, that young lady has a contract, and she's going to honor it.
-Oh. I mean, good.
-Good morning, Mr. Bebe!
-Who's this?
-Frances Farmer, contract player, six- month option.
-Okay. Good tits. Can't we show them off a little more?
-I guess so, sir.
-That's Frances. I'm not the cookbook.
-I like your looks. You have the classical bone structure of the very great beauties... Garbo, Dietrich --
-Thank you --
-Since we have you on a seven year contract, I'm planning long-range. I'm going to loan you out to Sam Goldwyn to make a picture called "Come and Get It."
-Really? That's a very good book. It'd make a terrific --
-Society is falling apart, Miss Farmer, and people have to buckle down, do their jobs. You see, I view myself as the Henry Ford of motion picture industry, and I can't have the fellow who puts on the wheels arguing with the man who installs head-lights, now can I?
-But I'm concerned with everything, Mr. Bebe.
-No, I'm concerned with everything.
-But I'm the one up there on the screen.
-Look, Mr. Bebe, you can hold me to my contract, but you can't break me. I'm back, and I'm gonna make the best of it.
-Hi Frances, got a minute?
-Well, I suppose I should just say it. It's your clothes.
-My clothes?
-Yeah, I mean slacks... and work clothes... and that awful car --
-It's a perfectly good car. It runs.
-Yes, but... Really, I hate to sound... it's just that the public expects something different from its stars. People won't take you seriously.
-I don't care if my clothes are taken seriously. Or my car.
-You know what I mean.
-That's not all, Frances. Mr. Bebe is very concerned about your politics. He hears you've been donating money, speaking at rallies.
-Yup. Claire... please, please tell Mr. Bebe that if he worried half as much about his scripts as he does about my private life, we'd make a lot better movies.
-I'm sorry, Frances. It's my job, you know?
-I know. 'This is a factory and we each have our jobs. The writer writes, the director directs, and the actress...'
-Face it! Confess it! You're weak!
-I'm not!
-You're afraid!
-I'm not!
-You don't want to show your whole soul -- ugly, mis-shapen, and pitiful -- you don't want to show it --
-Good, good. Give them that.
-Madam...?
-Oh my God! Frances, I'm such a cad. I can't go through with this. My wife is in Europe, but this is her house... her bedroom. I can't ask you to...
-Okay, but come here first.
-Huh.
-The Group is more than a theatre company. It's the embodiment of an ideal. Our approach allows the actor to be an artist in the fullest sense, a creative individual and an instrument of change. You see --
-Really, Mr. Clurman, you don't have to sell me.
-Forgive my indulgence. Seems we always lecture those who are on time for those who are tardy. The point is, Mr. Odets here has written a wonderful play. Most of the roles are cast, but we haven't found our female lead...
-...Not only an artist, but an instrument of change. We must look to the world around us, not content to observe, but to take an active hand in redressing its wrongs. We will not stand idly by as Fascist bombs obliterate democracy. We contribute our profits, for if fascism is not stopped in Spain, it will spread across Europe, jeopardizing the struggle of civilized
-Hello, Harold.
-Frances.
-Where's Clifford?
-He's not here.
-What's up?
-I hear you're meeting with the studio lawyers to get out of your contract.
-That's right. I don't want them breathing down my neck while we're in London.
-You don't think I'm good enough?
-What?! Good Lord no, it's just... It's money. We needed backing and... well, we found it.
-Who?
-An actress.
-A rich actress.
-Yes. That's the deal. She plays Lorna.
-But... but wait a minute. We're supposed to be different, right? Clifford says... This theatre is supposed to be different! And this play... this play is all about what greed and money do to people!
-I know, but --
-What does Clifford say?
-Right now we have to be practical.
-Does Clifford even know? You didn't tell him, did you? I'm gonna tell him. Where is he?
-Hey, where's the fire, sister?
-In my eyes, officer.
-Cool off, beautiful. Didn't you see the sign says "Dimout Zone?" There's a war on, you know?
-Come on. You're seriously trying to tell me the Japs can't find Los Angeles without my headlights?
-Get your clothes on.
-You have no right! You have no fucking right, you bastards! Get the hell out of here --
-Get your clothes on, lady --
-GET OUT!
-You learn your lines?
-Sort of.
-There've been some calls.
-Who?
-Well... about half an hour ago that woman from the talent department called, what's her name?
-Claire?
-Yeah, Claire. She said she was fired. Too bad, huh?
-Fired?
-There was another call too. From your agent. He says your summer stock deal is all set. So you're going back east, huh?
-...Yes.
-Without me.
-Showdown.
-You weren't going to tell me, were you? Just pack up and leave, is that it?
-Dick, we need some time apart --
-Hey, I'm not a complete fool, you know. I can see you're going sour on me, and when I try to do something about it, you turn your back and say it's nothing.
-Dick, I can't even breathe here...
-Dwayne! I'm Dwayne now! And you damn well better get used to it!
-Dick...
-I don't suppose it occurred to you that I might want to leave too, that I might want to do theatre? No, 'cause you don't want me along, do you? And the reason has nothing to do with summer stock.
-No?
-No. It's all about that night, isn't it?
-What night?
-The premiere. I never pressed you about it but god damn it, you're gonna tell me right here and right now what happened and where the hell you were!
-Oh, God! Let's get her out of here tonight, right now! Let's take her with us!
-The hearing's tomorrow. If she gets out legally, they can't come after her.
-Look at her! She'll never pass that sanity test tomorrow...
-Let's get out of here! I'll lose my job!
-Harry!
-We're all square now, Harry. Right?
-All square, Doc.
-Doctor, it may sound odd, but I believe I've profited from my stay here. It's just what I've needed, to get away like this. But I'm recuperated now. I've had lots of time to think and I've made a few decisions about my life. I'm ready to get on with it.
-I know you believe that.
-...Don't you?
-No. Cut this runaround, Doctor. I know better.
-Listen to yourself, Frances. The resistance, the anger in your voice.
-You... I'm sorry, forgive me. Doctor, tell me honestly, what do I have to do to get out of here?
-Be patient, that's all. Take an interest in your treatment and don't dwell on your resentments. You'll be yourself again, I assure you.
-...I see.
-We'll talk more about this. I'll see you later.
-Harry? Oh Harry, I knew you'd come. I love you, Harry. I love... Take me home, Harry.
-We'll get you home, Frances.
-This is the answer: a subscription drive to "Voice of Action!" First prize is a trip to Moscow! You could visit the art theatre, maybe even meet Stanislavski!
-But I'll never win that.
-Yes, yes, it's all arranged. Everyone's collecting subscriptions in your name. And the best part is: the trip returns you to New York.
-Really?
-New York, Frances! Broadway! This is your chance! You belong on the stage!
-...until finally your mother finds it necessary to commit you to a state mental institution. Were you mentally ill, Frances?
-Were you an alcoholic?
-No.
-Were you a drug addict?
-Thank you, Ralph.
-Bye, baby.
-I'm... I'm really proud of you, Frances.
-Thanks, Dad.
-An essay contest... a national contest. That's pretty impressive.
-I didn't have much to do with it.
-You wrote it, didn't you?
-Yeah, I suppose... Dad, who's Harry York?
-Well, Harry York is a guy who... well, he does a lot of things. Why do you ask?
-He talked to me today. Told me to keep my mouth shut or I'd get everybody in trouble.
-Yeah... well... it's possible. Harry York and I both work for Mr. Kaminski right now, and... well... There are lots of folks in this country who never got a square break. That's the way of things, but Mr. Kaminski wants to change it, and when it comes to new ideas, the people in power get nervous.
-Is Kaminski a Communist?
-No, no, no. All he wants to do is see the common man get a little representation.
-It's already started, Dad... with me.
-I know.
-Dad, please, don't leave early. Just because of Mama --
-What do I do, Dad?
-You really want to go?
-Of course.
-And you think it's worth all this?
-If I didn't, I wouldn't put you through it.
-I love you, Mama. I love you, Dad.
-...So what do you think?
-I don't know, honey. Your mother has such big plans for you.
-I know that, Dad, but --
-What you have to understand, Francie, is that she... well... she wanted so much for herself too, and for me, and she never really got to... The only time I ever saw her happy was if her name was in the papers... but she could have been... if times were different she could have been a politician or... I don't know.
-But Dad, I'm asking about me. What do you think I should do?
-Well, Francie, sometimes after you get your hands on something you want, it just doesn't look the same. Then you have to be real smart to know if you should hold onto it because it's all you've got... or just let it go. This is the way of things, but I guess you already know that.
-Dad... whatever I decide, will it be okay with you?
-I'm sorry, I... I don't have a desk in my room, and...
-I don't care, Dad. I love you.
-Francie, you know I can't do that.
-Why? It's such a simple thing. You just let me out and I disappear down a road and you never have to see me again.
-Dad, here! You don't have to stop, just slow down. You can tell Mama I jumped out. She knows that's the kind of thing I'd do. She won't blame you.
-You know where you're taking me. You know what she'll do. Just give me a minute, slow down, give me an instant for once in your life, please?
-Please, Francie...
-Are you... are you hungry?
-It always amazes me, Lil, how you can whip up a hot, hearty meal out of thin air.
-Bread?
-Thank you.
-You're poisoning that child's mind.
-I have a right to talk to her. She's my daughter, and she's beginning to understand why I've sacrificed so much in order to achieve...
-You've sacrificed?! If you'd practice law for decent folk instead of Communists and indigents --
-They need help, Lil. They pay me back in other ways.
-How? What do they do for you, Kaminski and his friends? They're all anarchists! Traitors!
-No, Lil. It's just you can't understand their brand of patriotism.
-I'm going back to the hotel.
-Good.
-See you next weekend?
-Lillian... I'm more than willing to meet you halfway.
-Don't make me sick. I'd sooner drown myself in Puget Sound.
-Kurt!
-Oh, Angela! Go with these trappers! They'll lead you safely down the mountain...
-But, Kurt, I...
-No, No arguments. Be my good girl and go. There's a forest, a burning forest, and you know what I have to do!
-Oh, Kurt!
-Name?
-Age?
-Fifteen.
-Address?
-Just put me down as a avg -- a vagrant vagabond. Come on, this is a joke! Assault and battery? I barely touched that bitch!
-I'm really sad it's closing. Now what am I gonna do on Tuesday nights?
-You can always come see it in London.
-Only if you were in it. Are you?
-I wouldn't miss it.
-Boy, I'd love to... but I'm going to Hollywood.
-Are you an actor?
-Hell yes!... well, okay, I'm still in school. But as soon as I graduate... California, here I come!
-Are you really serious? About acting?
-Why... yes.
-Then don't go to Hollywood.
-Why?
-I'm telling you straight, if you have any serious ambitions, stay clear of the place. It'll crush you.
-You sound as if you hate it.
-Aren't you ever going back?
-...Not if I can help it.
-Gosh! You'll break a lot of hearts.
-They'll mend.
-What?
-Will you be getting back together? When you quit Hollywood, I mean.
-Is it true you're getting a divorce? Comrade?
-Just one minute...
-Momma told ya not to speak to strangers, huh? Hey!
-Don't touch me.
-Okay then...
-Well... you're causin' trouble, you know that?
-I'm causing trouble?! You're a pain in the butt! You newshounds've been after me and my folks ever since I won that dumb contest. I'm just sixteen, you know? Who the hell cares what I think?
-Not me. But other people seem to.
-Yeah. Well if you didn't put it in the papers -- nobody'd even know about it.
-Now wait a minute, sweetie. Do I look like a newshound to you?
-I'll... take your word for it. So who are you, then?
-Harry York. I work for Martoni Kaminski, he's running for Congress here.
-Oh yeah! I saw you in the newsreel!
-Yeah, well --
-You know, my Dad's done some work for Kaminski...
-Now you're catchin' on. Don't wanna get your Daddy in hot water, do you?
-Whattaya mean?
-Well... see the papers've got us pegged as pinkos, then you come along, the friendly neighborhood atheist --
-But I'm not. The newspapers're --
-Right again. You're no more an atheist than my man's a Red, but what they're doin', see, they're addin' up their version of your ideas with their version of ours. Could look bad for your Daddy.
-Sure don't talk like you're sixteen.
-Well aren't you the smoothie. Now you're going to ask for my number, I suppose.
-I suppose not. Gotta ask you this, though: for all our sakes, you better keep your trap shut.
-Well... I'll give it a try, Mr. York.
-Harry.
-Hi, Harry. Did you see the play?
-You think I'd miss it?
-Well? What'd you think?
-I just wanted to see how you looked.
-How'd I look?
-Enh.
-Don't be a rat, Harry.
-Honest. When you were up there, you were really... there, know what I mean? Everyone else looked stupid.
-I don't know... I did... feel different... Alive.
-Yeah, it's a gift. You gotta do something with it.
-Yeah, but if I win this trip, Mama'll kill me. She hates Russians. I do want to go, though... to New York, especially... but I wanted to do it...
-What?
-Quietly.
-You know, my old man was an inventor. Spent his whole life down in the basement trying to design transcontinental underground railroads, stuff like that. Well, I was supposed to be his partner. When I told him the smell of his workshop made me sick, I thought he was going to die right there.
-What happened to him?
-I kick myself sometimes, but the thing is, I would have been miserable living his life.
-...So you think I should go.
-Sure. Try this acting thing. You can make good money at it.
-I don't know, Harry. I... I want so many...
-You don't know what you want.
-Frances...
-What?
-Well... don't you think it's up to me to...
-How ya doin', Farmer?
-Me? Look at you! What're you doing in Hollywood?
-Not bad. But come on, Harry; what's the real reason?
-Kaminski.
-Yeah, I read about that. Terrible business, suicide.
-Since when do you believe the papers? They killed him, kid.
-What?
-They killed him. They threw him out that window.
-Oh no...
-Jesus.
-Yup. Poor bastard lay there on the sidewalk and he couldn't die. Too god damn much heart. He just didn't want to die.
-But... but why, Harry...? Why'd they do it?
-He wouldn't play ball. What can I tell ya... it's done. Anyway, I didn't want to be next, so I skipped town; came down here to work for some big-wig. Tail and nail job. I'm sort of a non-gentleman's non- gentleman. How d'ya like the camouflage?
-Not bad. It was slow at first, but I'm doing bits now.
-I always told ya, Frances. You got real ability.
-I know what ability you're interested in.
-Hey, I'm a man, aren't I? Whattaya say we have dinner, then maybe head out to the beach, rub some of this tan off each other. For old time's sake.
-Harry... I met someone.
-Serious, huh?
-Yeah.
-Shit. I meant the other way around.
-Well, the studio told me not to.
-Is that why you did it?
-Who ever thought they'd be right for once? Jesus, Harry... it's a zoo back there --
-You're telling me.
-Dick... and my mother! She acts like she's on Mars or something --
-Well, she's back to earth now. They're all pretty huffed up about your leaving. I think you better go back, kid.
-You know, the funny thing is: it's not a great movie. I mean it could've been, but they screwed it up, gave it a happy ending. And all my friends, I know they're going to smile and say they loved it.
-If they say they love it, they'll probably love it. Not everybody lies, you know?
-Frances, you're a movie star now. If you give them what they want, you can get anything.
-I don't have what they want, Harry. Harry, will you tell me something? How can I keep making movies when people in the streets are starving?
-Some people starve, kid. Until we can do something about it, they might as well see a movie. Makes 'em feel better.
-But I don't want to be like that. I want to do something...
-What're you gonna do, waste your talent? Why not use it to make something worthwhile. You can do that, you know?
-Tell you what. Let's ditch the limo. Let me drive you up to that red carpet in my beat up Chevy.
-The hell you will, Harry York.
-Don't start, Farmer.
-It's midnight, Harry. My glittering raiments are dissolving.
-The chauffeur. He's watching.
-He deserves a show. He missed the movie.
-I'm serious, Frances. This is important.
-Harry? Harry, where are you?!
-Jesus, Frances, how'd you find me?
-I called your god-damned office! I want you to kill him, Harry. You'll do that for me, won't you? I loved him, I loved him... that bastard.
-Calm down, Frances.
-Two lines! Two fucking lines! 'My wife returns from Europe tomorrow. I can't see you any more.' Just like that!
-Frances...
-How the hell do you find me anyway?
-Animal magnetism! No ginger beer. What's this red stuff?
-What's left of my blood.
-Think I'll have a glass.
-Nice joint. Can you afford it?
-Nope. The studio pays. Thank you, Harry.
-What for?
-For not chopping off his head and serving it to me on a platter.
-Six months' probation...? You gotta learn when to do battle, Farmer. You're not going to win many bouts with 200 pound cops.
-I took the early rounds.
-I'll bet.
-I don't know. It hurts, Harry. Some things, no matter what you do with them, they just hurt.
-So you drink, and you fight with a cop...?
-Yeah, and you look at people and you wonder who the hell they are, what's going on inside their heads. Sometimes you can hear it, like a buzzing, the things that happen in their heads. And you wonder: does anybody ever love anybody, really?
-Hey look, I got some business down in San Diego. Whattaya say you come with me, stay a few days?
-No, Harry, I can't --
-I just wanted to be part of something... one thing, one play or one movie, something that was really fine... memorable. And I could say: I did that, I made something good.
-And?
-Take a walk, pal.
-Oh my God, I look awful.
-Evening, gorgeous.
-That sure looks like fun... You know how long it's been since I was behind the wheel?
-Forget it, Frances. You're not driving.
-Where are we, mean man?
-Couple hours from Idaho. We'll cut across to Montana. I've got friends there with a ranch.
-I should've known...
-What?
-This is another one of your schemes to get me off alone...
-That's right.
-I don't think I'd be much good in a war...
-Whattaya think you're in now?
-I don't know. Not a war exactly. It's more a... a misapprehension maybe...
-Huh?
-Harry, I have to go home. I have to talk to Mama.
-Frances, you're fulla drugs. You don't know what you're saying. Who do you think put you into Meadow Wood? Your mother thinks you're crazy and she'll keep on thinking it as long as it suits her.
-No, she just didn't want me going to jail, that's all.
-You know something, Harry?
-I guess.
-Aside from meanness, you're almost perfect. There's only one other thing wrong with you.
-What's that?
-Ohhh, that's lousy Scotch!
-Hey! Another shot for the lady and a double for me!
-What a man!
-Hey, you're a good quarter-horse, kid, but you can't go a route of ground.
-To quarter-horses.
-Why are you always leaving me, Harry?
-Huh?
-You should stickaround sometimes. Look out for me.
-Look, Frances, I'm only gonna ask this one time. I mean it. I swear after this, I'll never ask again: Will you marry me?
-I know a thing or two about marriage. You... you understand me more than anyone, Harry... maybe even more than Mama. But... you're too important to me. I'd fail you. I don't know how or why, but I would. And that's a chance I just can't take. Do you understand?
-There's just one more thing.
-What's that?
-It's not too late to keep going, up to Vancouver? Be the smartest thing.
-Thanks, Harry, really, but... I can't explain it. She's my mother. She's just... I can't give up on her that easy.
-You give up on her?
-Yeah. It's just... something I gotta do, I guess.
-Frances, You're crazy.
-Anyway... if you need me...
-Frances! Frances!
-Who?
-Frances, it's me, Harry?
-I love you, Harry. I love you.
-Where to?
-This is it, kid. This is our chance. When you got a chance, you better take it.
-Yeah. I don't know.
-You don't need to screw around anymore. You don't need Dwayne Steele or Odets or your mother. You need me.
-Been a lot of years, you know. A long time waiting. For what? End up feeling like a sap.
-Oh please, Harry... don't even think it. You're the only person who ever... It's just... Can't you wait for me?
-I don't know.
-Yes you do. If you love me you can wait, right? A month, six months, whatever it takes.
-Right. Except... time has a way of --
-No, Harry, it's not time, it's us. You and me. And I'm telling you now that I'll come to you, okay? I'll find you. I will.
-C'mere. I want to talk to you.
-How... how ya doin', Farmer?
-Fine, thank you. Did you watch the show?
-Sure I did, that's why I'm here.
-How did I look?
-Oh, you... ...ennh.
-I got a new car. Only it's red. Did you know Mama died?
-Yeah. Yeah, I heard about that.
-Dad, too. I sold the house. I'm a faceless sinner, Harry...
-Why do you say that?
-It's going to be slow from now on. Do you know what I mean, Harry?
-I'm not sure.
-Very slow. But we're not going to stop, are we?
-No.
-Goodbye, Harry. It was very good to see you again.
-Yes. Would you like me to walk a little way with you?
-That would be okay.
-Pretty morning.
-It's always beautiful at this time. Peaceful...
-And no people.
-Where you goin'?
-Wherever they're going, I'm going.
-Yeah, I know what that's like... Where you been?
-Yeah.
-What'd you do?
-Shit!
-...Is that not true?
-Who's writing this guy's lines?
-Answer the question! Have you driven a car since you were placed on probation?
-No, I couldn't get my hands on one.
-Have you reported to your Probation Officer as directed?
-I never saw him. Why didn't he show up?
-Did you expect him to look you up?
-You're on your way to a contempt citation, young lady.
-That's fine with me... Get it? Fine. A fine! Hey c'mon, c'mon, what is this, an audience or a jury?
-Miss Farmer, is it true you fought with the policeman who arrested you last night?
-Sure it's true. I was fighting for my country as well as myself.
-Miss Farmer! In light of your flagrant disregard for the conditions of your probation, coupled with the unwarranted assault on the Plaintiff here... I am forced to order you to begin serving a sentence of 180 days in the County Jail.
-Fine!
-What happened? Who're you?
-Who're you?
-I live here.
-You're Farmer? Oh... Well, look, they took your stuff out. Moved it to some hotel, I think.
-What?
-And what's the title of this seduc... assault?
-That's me, Clifford.
-I'm not!
-Yes, you win them, you bring them into your heart, touch them, but you don't set them on fire!
-But I want to. I'm trying!
-I need an incendiary! An arsonist!
-Then show me! That's what I'm here for, to learn, to grow!
-'But how do I know you love me?'
-Your big speech?
-'How do I know it's true? You'll get to be the champ. They'll all want you, all the girls! But I don't care. I've been undersea a long time. When they'd put their hands on me I used to say, "This isn't it! This isn't what I mean!" It's been a mysterious world for me! But Joe, I think you're it! I don't know
-How's it sound?
-The speech? Real good.
-You think I got it?
-You got it.
-Mama...
-Don't listen to him, little sister. When you're proud of what you are, you don't refuse the label, understand?
-Yes, Ma.
-But they're using you!
-I'll pay your way to New York. I'll work, I'll slave. I'll sell my vegetables to the truck farmers, or --
-It isn't in your hands, Mama. It's my life.
-Yes, but important people are concerned about this. Judge Hillier spoke to Alma Styles --
-I don't care.
-It's okay.
-It's alright now, little sister, everything's going to be just fine.
-Mama, what's...
-Shhh, shhh. You're not going to jail, Frances. The Judge has put you under my care. I'll see you get the rest you need.
-Tell them who I am! Tell them who I am!
-And here's one from nice Mr. Zeiss. He says that...
-Why are these all opened?
-Well, they needed immediate answers, Frances. It's good manners and good sense. You shouldn't be bothering yourself with these right now.
-Then why did you bring them?
-It's your fan mail, little sister.
-You kill me, Mama.
-What?
-Well, who have we here...?
-Oh Mama, I'm so... tired of that song.
-I think I need a little air.
-What's wrong?
-Nothing. I think I'll just go out for awhile.
-Where are you going?
-How long will you be?
-I'll have lunch ready by one.
-I'll be back.
-At one. Promise?
-Say you promise.
-You know, the surest way to lose an appetite, is to drink, little sister.
-Yes, Mama.
-I don't want you drinking, Frances.
-I'm back, Mama.
-Oh Frances, do I have news for you! Guess who --
-Don't... talk crazy.
-Mama...?
-Haven't you heard what I said?
-I told him to come up! I told him you wanted to show them all that there's nothing wrong with you any more, that you're completely cured!
-I'm not cured. I was never sick! They had no business putting me in there! My only responsibility is to myself now!
-You... you selfish, selfish child. At least talk to him, hear what he has to say.
-No!
-You want to throw it all away, is that it? You had everything, little sister. Beauty... a brilliant career... a wonderful husband. You were a movie star!
-Mama, shut up!
-And now you're throwing everything away? You're gonna be a nobody! Nobody! You know what that's like?!
-Where are you going?
-I'm going out!
-You're not going anywhere!
-Yes, I am, and you can't stop me! You can't tell me what to do, mother. I'm a grown woman, and I can decide about my own life.
-Of course, she hasn't anything definite in mind.
-Oh, just leave those things for now.
-You know, little sister, I never resented you for refusing to see me in the... the hospital. I knew you had to manage on your own before you could come back.
-Little sister, I don't want you to feel any rush to get back to work. I want you to rest... for a while anyway.
-Do I go right away or do I have time to take a bath?
-I was hoping for a kind word, little sister.
-You were hoping for a kind word?! You're my mother! You're supposed to nourish me! Support me!
-No! All you've done is try to break my spirit, try to turn me into you! But I'm not you, mother, and I never will be, and thank god for it! That goes for you too! And frankly, I don't know how, with the two of you, I turned out as sane as I am -- Wait right there, gentlemen, I'll be with you
-But what --
-On behalf of the Seattle Ladies Club, as a token of our vast admiration --
-Excuse me.
-Yes...?
-Don't I know you?
-I don't believe so.
-Sure. You shouted at me in the auditorium when I read my essay.
-No, my dear. You must be mistaken.
-I find these initial meetings to be much easier without the concerned relatives in attendance.
-Am I supposed to say 'thank you'?
-Thanks are hardly necessary.
-Aw, shucks, ma'am. T'weren't nothin'.
-I'm glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor.
-It ain't for lack of trying.
-So it seems. May we be serious for a moment?
-Oh! Are you really?
-Do you expect me, for one moment, to believe you have greater insight into my personality than I do?
-Please sit down...
-You may discuss my predicament, Doctor. You may discuss it with anyone you like, but not with me. I'm not interested. I can solve my problems without recourse to a veternarian.
-I see.
-Besides, I don't want to be what you want to make me.
-And what's that?
-Normal. Average.
-All right. Will you please sit down now? Symington says.
-...Did you really say that?
-Just a little joke, Miss Farmer.
-This whole thing is a joke!
-Stay calm, please.
-No, you stay calm, Doctor! But you're finding that difficult, aren't you? Why, are you attracted to me? Perhaps later, in some of our more intimate sessions... after we know each other a little better... and you've torn my personality to shreds, and I'm weeping and vulnerable... then you'll really get your kicks, won't you, "Doctor?"
-I'll have someone show you to your room.
-Is there something else?
-...I'm sorry to keep you waiting, the staff review ran over. Did you enjoy your mother's visit?
-Yes. It was very good to see her.
-Not at all. She brought me my fan mail. I had no idea there were so many strangers concerned about me. But I guess that's the best thing about working in the movies. You make so many friends. I want to go back and show them that the faith they put in me wasn't a mistake.
-You're telling me you feel guilty.
-No... What I mean is... I'm just very excited by the prospect of getting on with my life, that's all.
-Do you really believe your mother's trying to kill you?
-What?
-She told me you said, "Mama, you want to kill me."
-I never said... Oh look. That's just a figure of speech. She said something funny, and I said...
-And you accused her of tampering with your mail.
-I'm sorry. She misunderstood, that's all.
-But you tell me you had a pleasant visit and your mother says you were sullen and uncommunicative. Whom do you think I should believe?
-Doctor, I hate to break this to you, but my mother is a little batty.
-Frances, you're still filled with anxiety. You feel guilty and hostile toward your family and friends. Consequently, I didn't recommend your release at the staff review.
-You what?
-I'm sure you'll see it my way in the end.
-Dr. Symington, how big is your dick?
-Huh?
-I want outta here, you understand? I'm ready to get out! So you go back there... you go back and you tell them to let me out!
-Frances, I'm warning you...
-Symington says...
-And do you think it's radical for a man to have a job and feed a family?
-No!
-Is it radical for you to have a hand in shaping your future, and the future of your children?
-No!
-Is it radical for the wealth of this country to be turned back to the people who built the country?
-No! No!
-I don't know why they even bother. She's had enough of this to knock sense into a bull elephant.
-Yeah?
-I checked the files. This one holds the record for shock treatments. Four hundred seventeen and no end in sight.
-You're kidding.
-Yeah, well, you know doctors. They sure hate to use that word.
-What?
-You were with him at the end.
-Yes.
-I longed to be with him. But I wanted his final moments to have peace. I could see you were a friend to him.
-What is that to you? Evil as you are.
-I am as he made me. In his own image.
-You drove him to his torment.
-And he drove me to mine.
-Then why weep for him?
-I've never been shown a kindness. Show me one now.
-What kindness?
-Nice.
-I'm glad you finally came to the door. A man shouldn't have to scurry in the shadows.
-Better that way... for me.
-Why?
-I'm... very, very ugly. People are afraid. Except you.
-It can't be as bad as that.
-You're an outcast.
-Yes. I have been seeking my friends.
-Friends? Do they live around here?
-Yes. Very close
-I have been... afraid. Afraid... they will hate me... because I am so very ugly... and they are so very beautiful
-People can be kinder than you think.
-Come warm yourself if you like.
-You speak.
-Yes, I speak. And read. And think... and know the ways of Man. I've been waiting for you. Two months now.
-The letters in your journal. That and a geography book. Your Elizabeth sounds lovely.
-Kill me and have done with it.
-Kill you? Hardly that.
-Then why am I here? What did you want with me?
-More to the point, why am I here? What did you want with me? What does one say to one's Maker, having finally met him face to face? Milton gave it voice. Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay to mould me Man? Did I solicit thee from Darkness to promote me?
-Fine words from a child killer. You who murdered my brother.
-Your crime... as well as mine.
-How dare you. You're disgusting and evil.
-Evil? Do you believe in evil?
-I see it before me.
-Why, Victor? Why? What were you thinking?
-There was something at work in my soul which I do not understand.
-What of my soul? Do I have one? Or was that a part you left out? Who were these people of which I am comprised? Good people? Bad people?
-Materials. Nothing more.
-In which part of me did this knowledge reside? In these hands? In this mind? In this heart? And reading and speaking. Not things learned... so much as things remembered.
-Trace memories in the brain, perhaps.
-Stolen memories. Stolen and hazy. They taunt me in my dreams. I've seen a beautiful woman lying back and beckoning for me to love her. Whose woman was this? I've seen boys playing, splashing about in a stream. Whose childhood friends were these? Who am I?
-I don't know.
-What can I do?
-There is something I want. A friend.
-Friend?
-A companion. A female. Like me, so she won't hate me.
-Like you? Oh, God, you don't know what you're asking.
-I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine. And rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will demonically indulge the other. That choice is yours. You're the one who set this in motion,
-And if I consent?
-Soon?
-Yes. I want this over and done with.
-Why... her?
-What is this?
-A brain. Extremities.
-This was not taken from a grave.
-What does it matter? She'll live again. You'll make her.
-You will honor your promise to me!
-I will not! Kill me now!
-She's beautiful.
-She's not for you.
-GET AWAY FROM HER! SHE'S MINE!
-Poor William! What indignant tears!
-That's the nature of all progress, William. Don't let your brother sway you otherwise.
-Elizabeth, really! He's quite mad!
-Scandalous! What would your dear mother say?
-You dance so beautifully together.
-Must've been a terrible row.
-Nothing. Still nothing.
-It's been months. It's not like him.
-Something's wrong. I know it. I've heard rumors of cholera spreading south from Hamburg.
-So have I
-I should go. I should leave today.
-Elizabeth. If it's true, travel into Germany would be banned. You'd never get near Ingolstadt. Besides, they're only rumors.
-And not a word of them to Father. He's agitated enough not hearing from Victor.
-Are you all right?
-He always was opinionated.
-What does it say?
-Have you seen Willie?
-Is he not back yet?
-Claude rode over there to see if held lost track of time. They say he never arrived.
-Don't cry, Elizabeth.
-Are you sure it can't hurt us?
-How could all my father's knowledge and skill fail to save her?
-What kind of God is He to will this?
-She was mother to me as well. But ours is the job of the living. It's up to us now to hold this family together. We must think of Father and be strong for him. I cannot do that alone.
-God took her from us.
-Victor, have a care! You'll make him dizzy!
-Oh, do give him here! He needs to be comforted and held!
-Don't listen, Willie. Progress is a feast to be consumed. Women would have you believe you must walk before you can run. Or run before you can waltz!
-Smell the air. Wonderful.
-Quite a send-off, isn't it?
-Father's so proud.
-And you?
-Prouder still. You'll be the handsomest student there.
-I'll have to do better than that.
-You will. What do you want, Victor?
-I've loved you all my life
-This feels... incestuous.
-Brother and sister still?
-I wish to be your husband.
-I wish to be your wife.
-Then come with me to Ingolstadt. Marry me now.
-If only I could. But one of us must stay. Father's not strong. Willie's just a child. Who can look after them in your absence? Who can run the estate?
-Only you.
-You make me weak.
-Our decision. Together.
-Your decision. For us.
-I give you my soul...
-...until our wedding night. When our bodies will join.
-Victor. I love you,
-My mind was not playing tricks. He was there in the storm... gloating over his crimes... challenging me to come.
-But why risk yourself? Hasn't this family suffered enough?
-I've no choice
-If what you say is true, it is a matter for the police!
-Do you know this man? Is there something between you?
-I thought I'd never see you again!
-What sort of task?
-It's not something I can explain now. Perhaps someday.
-What of our marriage? Victor, we've had so much tragedy. I want this family to live again.
-So do I.
-We need each other now, I need your comfort and strength, not separation and solitude.
-No. Not tomorrow, not next week, Marry me today.
-Why the change? What about your work?
-It was misguided and pointless. Is your answer yes?
-It is
-We'll leave this afternoon, right after the ceremony. Pack only what you need.
-Does this have something to do with that man you saw?
-Yes. We're in danger here. Every moment we stay.
-Victor, tell me why! Trust me!
-Brother and sister no more.
-I remember the first time I ever saw you. Crossing the floor of the grand ballroom with my parents at your side. So beautiful even then.
-Victor!
-It's going to ram us.
-Captain, I implore you. The men are frightened and angry. They want your assurance.
-They knew the risks when they signed on. I've come too far to turn back now.
-A warming wind.
-This ice will break yet. How's our guest?
-He died. Raving about phantoms. He was mad, poor devil. Gather a detail. Have the body removed from my cabin.
-I'm quite serious. Look at all the charity and clinic work we do. Up until thirty years ago, the concept of vaccine was unheard of.
-You're saying all disease will eventually be eradicated?
-I'm convinced. Not by treating symptoms, but by diving nature's most jealously-guarded secrets.
-Do you foresee this happening in our lifetimes?
-No. But someday.
-Professor?
-I was just clearing my throat.
-I am not mad.
-Are you having me on?
-Henry Clerval.
-Victor, Victor Frankenstein.
-Do you really think I'm mad?
-Rich old ladies and their daughters?
-Can you think of a better reason?
-Quite a few.
-The entire school heard it. It wasn't something one could miss.
-You're a comfort to me, Henry.
-What now? Writing about it in your journal won't help.
-Now you've got him started.
-These are exciting times, Henry. We're entering an era of amazing breakthroughs. Look at Edward Jenner. He wasn't content to bleed people with leeches, he pioneered a new frontier of thought
-...yes, and thanks to him, smallpox has been virtually eliminated. I've heard this speech before.
-Only you would think of that!
-And here's to Him. Everything in moderation, Frankenstein.
-They just caught the man who did it.
-He was a frightened soul who acted out of fear and ignorance.
-They'll hang him all the same.
-Keep your voice down. You don't know what you're saying.
-You're making a scene!
-Why Waldman? He of all people should have cheated death!
-You can't. Death is God's will!
-I resent God's monopoly.
-That's blasphemy!
-Blasphemy be damned! Waldman spent his life trying to help people!
-All the more reason for us to continue his work with the poor!
-No. He had more important work.
-Victor. This has got to stop. Nobody's seen you in months. You haven't attended a single class.
-I've been preoccupied.
-We all know how hard you took Waldman's death. Even Krempe is sympathetic. But it is time to move on. It is time to concern yourself with life.
-That is my concern. I'm involved in something just now. I want to finish it in Waldman's memory.
-How much longer?
-This is a bad time, Henry. I'm busy just now. What do you want?
-Things have gone worse with this cholera outbreak. Thousand new cases a day now. Classes have been suspended. University's shut down.
-Yes? And?
-Listen to what I'm saying. The militia's arriving to quarantine the city. Most of us are getting out while we still can.
-Thank God your fever broke. Slowly, now. Just a sip. I've been worried we might lose you. It's been touch-and-go for a week.
-A... week?
-We feared cholera. Turned out to be pneumonia, brought on by nervous exhaustion and some idiot running around in a storm.
-Is that your diagnosis?
-Mine and Professor Krempe's. We've been trading off nursing you in shifts. The rest of the time we're out working with the cholera victims. It's his turn for that just now.
-You've been going round-the-clock?
-We catch a few hours sleep where we can. Usually here at your bedside.
-Everything in moderation, Clerval.
-It's the down-and-outs I pity most. Those who can't fend for themselves. They'll be dead by the thousands before this is done. They don't stand a chance out there.
-No. They don't.
-Quite a place.
-Thank you, Henry.
-For what?
-What happened up there?
-Are you sure you'll be all right?
-Yes, don't worry. I'll look after your father. You look after her.
-I'll be back as soon as I've got her far away and safe. We'll hunt this fiend down together.
-Only if you'll tell me who he is.
-All that I once loved lies in a shallow grave. By my hand.
-Yes. I took refuge in the barn. Wouldn't you? Lost in the storm? Freezing and wet? I was exhausted and could search no longer.
-I have always loved him.
-Is it also not true that you murdered his brother William in a misdirected crime of passion?
-Murder Willie? In my heart, he was our child. Victor's and mine. Such a thing could never have entered my mind.
-So you have claimed. Yet you have no explanation for this. The locket last seen in the hands of the poor murdered child was found hidden in your dress the morning following the murder. The locket you so coveted. How did it come to be in your possession?
-In science, the letter of fact is the letter of law. Our pursuit is as dogmatic as any religious precept. Think of yourselves as disciples of a strict and hallowed sect. Someday you may be priests... but only if you learn the scripture chapter and verse. Any questions?
-But surely, Professor, you don't intend we disregard the more... philosophical works.
-Philosophical?
-Paracelsus?
-Or Albertus Magnus. Cornelius Agrippa...
-What is your name?
-Victor Frankenstein, sir. Of geneva.
-You seem to be adapting well to the approved curriculum.
-Professor Waldman.
-Victor, explain yourself.
-Krempe has a way of provoking my temper.
-You have a way of provoking his. I've been watching you. You seem impatient with your studies.
-To say the least. I came here to expand my mind, but honest inquiry seems strangled at every turn. All we do is cling to the old knowledge instead of seeking the new.
-You disdain accepted wisdom?
-Preposterous.
-Electricity.
-It's utterly fantastic! This is the sort of thing I'm talking about! We should be learning this!
-Why? God alone knows what it means. Until it has proven value, it's nothing more than a ghoulish parlor trick. Hardly fit for the classroom.
-But the possibilities. Combining ancient knowledge with new? Something like this could change our fundamental views!
-It is a thrilling direction to explore. Thrilling and dangerous. Nature can be wonderful and terrible. Science is not a realm for the reckless; it needs a conscience. We must proceed cautiously. Assess as we go. What I do on my own time is my own business. The same holds true for you. You wish to expand your mind? Fine, do so. You can
-I doubt that decision is still mine to make.
-"...a sincere and heartfelt apology which you will then read aloud to him before the assembled student body and faculty.
-Why?
-Re-configure the leads?
-Victor. He was trying to be gracious.
-I tell you what we need, my friends. Forget the symptoms and diseases. What we need is a vaccine for death itself.
-You're awake. I've prepared some broth. It'll help restore you.
-Frostbite. Gangrene. A simple diagnosis.
-Are you a physician?
-How is it you come to be here?
-There's a startling question, coming from you. I'm captain of this ship. We sailed from Archangel a month ago, seeking a passage to the North Pole.
-Ah. An explorer.
-Would-be. I'm plagued with my share of difficulties just at the moment.
-I heard.
-I can't say I blame them. We're trapped in this ice and bedeviled by some sort of... creature.
-Creature? A... human like creature?
-You know of it?
-Your men are right to be afraid.
-Then explain it, whatever it is. It could save the voyage. I've spent years planning this. My entire fortune.
-You'd persist at the cost of your own life? The lives of your crew?
-Do you share my madness?
-We are kindred, you and I. Men of ambition. Let me tell you all that I have lost in such pursuits. I pray my story will come to mean for you all that is capricious and evil in man.
-Who are you?
-He's dead... She's dead... all dead... Please save me... oh... poor Bill... Oh my God, oh my God... oh God...
-It will be all right. I'll take care of you.
-It's just this place. The storm. That's why you're all upset.
-So young, so pretty. What monster could have done such a thing?
-The killer is still out there.
-We should go now.
-What'd you see?
-Shows how much you know. It's something about tomorrow.
-Tomorrow is another day.
-Melvin Belli.
-I think we should go wake them up. Just in case.
-Give them a little while longer. It's still early, anyway.
-Good night, Alice.
-Cabin B is ready.
-That's got her. Thanks. I'm Steve Christy. Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake. You got some grubby clothes? Climb into 'em. Alice, see if Bill has cleaned out the boathouse. I want him to start with the canoes. What happened to Brenda?
-You draw very well.
-Any particular reason?
-Just a feeling. Nothing personal.
-You want to leave?
-I don't know. Probably be best for everybody.
-Next Friday.
-I've got to go to town and pick up the trailer and all that other stuff, but I'll be back around ten. If you're still up, we can talk, okay?
-Steve said for you to start on the boats.
-Alice? The others show up?
-You think you're gonna last all summer?
-Steve said you were thinking of leaving. True?
-Oh, my God...
-How come you're leaving?
-It's long and personal. It has nothing to do with you or the other kids.
-And it's this place. It makes no sense, but it spooks me.
-Filmmaker.
-It still hurts?
-What'll you do when you leave here?
-I didn't know I was asleep... What time is it?
-You can only do what you can do.
-How the... did he get in there?
-Trouble?
-Jack and Marcie are gonna be drenched.
-It wouldn't matter except Steve should be getting back pretty soon. It wouldn't look so great if he fell over them.
-Good point.
-Help you clean up?
-I don't hear it anymore.
-Can't hear anything through that wind and rain.
-It sounded like Brenda.
-I'll go take a look.
-Where?
-I'll go check on Brenda.
-Jack?
-Marcie?
-It's dead. Try the pay phone.
-Do you have a dime? A quarter?
-What's the matter with it?
-Why don't we run? Just run now?
-How come?
-I'll be along.
-I'm sorry.
-Sure.
-I'm gonna go lie down and catch some z's. Today wiped me out. Thanks, Alice.
-You said we were special.
-You know what I said, though.
-I wouldn't know.
-Claudette...
-Somebody'll see.
-Somebody's there, Barry.
-Come on, Claudette. A man's not made of stone.
-Let's go back, Barry...
-What the hell?
-Give me a hand?
-This is almost like the one at my uncle's cabin in Maine.
-I'll be okay. Holy shit...
-You saved my life.
-I had to.
-Thanks.
-Floor probably leaks. This area is full of springs.
-What is it?
-Roll him over!
-Chance to get even?
-You just had some lucky shots.
-Did anyone ever tell you you're beautiful when you're angry?
-I don't believe you...
-You ever fire one of those bows again, and I'll tack you up on the wall to dry.
-What do you want to be when you grow up?
-Holy shit...
-No wonder they lost America. How could you sneak around in the bushes wearing that? What's to eat?
-What hath God wrought?
-That was the telephone.
-Ha!
-Ow!
-What about the dope paragraph in Mr. Christy's letter?
-Jack?
-It's gonna be a long summer.
-Steve taught me how to use the emergency generator. The town power lines are supposed to be real shitty.
-How about our last jay?
-Just a walk, for Chrissakes.
-Wind's up. It's shifted a good hundred and eighty degrees.
-Makes me want to hold on and never let go.
-I love you.
-What about Neddy?
-I don't love Neddy.
-He keeps on acting like such an asshole!
-Ned!
-Don't call him.
-I thought you wanted to give him one of your motherly lectures. Ned is gonna do whatever he wants to do, you know.
-Looks like a storm.
-I'm a little scared of storms. Always have been. Since I was a kid.
-It's just a dream.
-This is no dream. Want to escape for a while?
-Are you wet?
-Mmmmmmmph?
-Mmmmmmmph.
-Best over...
-Umhummmmph.
-Like waves. It's never been likes waves before.
-Whassamatta?
-Sex is all you ever think of, Neddy.
-It's beautiful...
-Cowboy.
-Girls can't be cowboys.
-Doctor. Now, if you were a flavor of ice cream, what would you be?
-Last line of Gone With the Wind?
-You okay?
-Wait'll you're really in trouble and see what happens...
-Anything else you want?
-No, thanks. I'm fine. Sandy.
-You can't go back there tonight. Not in that stuff. 'Less you wanta get drownded.
-I got to.
-I have six new counsellor up there. They're all babes in the woods in every sense of the word.
-They'll be okay if they know enough to stay in outta the rain.
-How much do I owe you?
-One night on the town.
-I mean...
-Yeah. I got it on before this -- -- all started.
-That's thirty percent.
-I told you not to buy that hunk of junk!
-I think water got into the electrical system. You ride me back to camp? I'll get one of my counselors to drive me back tomorrow morning.
-Bad enough we got a full moon; it's Friday the 13th. They keep statistics. We get more accidents, more robberies, more rapes, more homicides, more of everything when there's a full moon. It affects people. Makes 'em nuts.
-Have to drop you here, Steve.
-Good luck.
-Another coincidence.
-How many with you?
-Just my son and I.
-What is your purpose in Mexico?
-What was that?
-Oh, that's just my daughter in the bathroom.
-You said it was just you and your son.
-I meant me, my son and my daughter.
-Whatsamatter with you? Are you crazy?
-Why the fuck, outta all the god forsaken shit holes in Mexico, did you have us rendezvous at that place?
-I don't know, one place's as good as another.
-Have you ever been there before?
-No, but I passed by it a couple of times. It's out in the middle of nowhere. It seems like a rowdy place, so there wouldn't be a lot of police. And it's open from dusk till dawn. You said meet you in the morning.
-I'm sorry to hear that. What were they, psychos?
-Oh, Seth, how can I ever make it up to you?
-You can't, but fifteen percent instead of thirty for my stay at El Ray is a good start.
-Twenty-eight.
-You like the car?
-I said new, this is an '90.
-It's hardly been used at all. I got it from a drug dealer who only drove it 5 times in as many years. Swear to God. That's like new.
-So do I just follow you?
-Yeah, follow us.
-So let's do it.
-We got about two more hours of day light left. That'll get us into El Paso, which is right next to the border. We'll stop at a motel --
-Unless you two wiseacres wanna be introduced to the joys of hitchhiking, what say we drop this?
-Why do you want to stop?
-I'm exhausted.
-What's this guy's problem?
-What are you gonna do?
-I'm gonna try and get us across the border.
-Have you forgotten about your sister?
-They're gonna kill us. They get us across the border, they're gonna take us out in the desert and shoot us.
-If they get over the border, they're gonna let us go.
-Dad, I watch those reality shows. They never let anybody go. Any cop will tell you, in a situation like this, you get a chance, you go for it. This is our chance.
-What about Kate?
-They're gonna kill her anyway. At least now with all these cops we've got a fighting chance.
-Son, I have this situation under control. I know exactly what I'm doing. You're going to have to trust me on this.
-Now, you listen to me. You ain't gonna do a goddamn fucking thing, you hear me! Nobody cares what you think, I'm running this show, I make the decisions.
-He's running the show.
-You don't believe in suicide.
-It's not suicide if you're already dead. Two...
-Okay, I'll kill you when you change, I swear to God in Jesus Christ's name.
-Why did they block the door again?
-What's your name?
-Jacob.
-What's the story with you two? You a couple of fags?
-He's my son.
-How does that happen? You don't look Japanese.
-Neither does he. He looks Vietnamese.
-Oh, well, excuse me all to hell.
-What's this about, money?
-It's okay, honey. Everything's going to be all right.
-Where are the keys to the motor home?
-On the dresser.
-Not a chance.
-Come again?
-If you're taking people, take me. But my kids aren't going anywhere with you.
-Sorry, I need everybody.
-My children are not going with you, and that's that.
-Yes.
-Jacob Fuller. Jacob, that's biblical, ain't it? What am I askin' for, of course it is. What are their names?
-Who's this?
-My wife.
-Where is the little lady?
-In heaven.
-She's dead?
-Yes, she is.
-How'd she die?
-Auto wreck.
-Come on, gimme some more details. How'd it happen? Some fuckin' drunk kill her?
-No. It was a rainy night, the brakes on the car weren't great. She had to stop suddenly. She slid on the road, she crashed, she died.
-Died instantly?
-Not quite. She was trapped in the wreck for about six hours before she passed on.
-Whewww! Those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don't they?
-Is this real?
-Yes.
-I've seen one of these before. A friend of mine had himself declared a minister of his own religion. Away to fuck the IRS. Is that what you're doing, or are you the real McCoy?
-Real McCoy.
-You're a preacher?
-I was a minister.
-Was? As in not anymore?
-Yes.
-Why'd ya quit?
-I think I've gotten about as up close and personal with you as I'm gonna get. Now if you need me like I think you need me, you're not gonna kill me 'cause I won't answer your stupid, prying questions. So, with all due respect, mind your own business.
-I seem to have touched a nerve. Don't be so sensitive, Pops, let's keep this friendly. But you're right, enough with the getting to know you shit. Now, there's two ways we can play this hand. One way is me and you go round an' round all fuckin' night. The other way, is we reach some sort of an understanding. Now, if we go
-Yes.
-I thought so. You help us get across the border without incident, stay with us the rest of the night without trying anything funny, and in the morning we'll let you and your family go. That way everybody gets what they want. You and your kids get out of this alive and we get into Mexico. Everybody's happy.
-How do I know you'll keep your word?
-Jesus Christ, Pops, don't start with this shit.
-You want me to sit here and be passive. The only way being passive in this situation makes sense is if I believe you'll let us go. I'm not there yet. You have to convince me you're telling the truth.
-Look, dickhead, the only thing you need to be convinced about is that you're stuck in a situation with a coupla real mean motor scooters. I don't wanna hafta worry about you all fuckin' night. And I don't think you wanna be worrying about my brother's intentions toward your daughter all night. You notice the way he looked at her, didn't ya?
-Yes.
-Didn't like it, did ya?
-No, I didn't.
-Didn't think so. So, as I was saying, I'm willing to make a deal. You behave, get us into Mexico, and don't try to escape. I'll keep my brother off your daughter and let you all loose in the morning.
-You won't let him touch her?
-If he touches her, I'll kill him. I don't give a fuck how many guns you have, nothing will stop me from killing him.
-Swear to God, on the Bible, you won't try to escape and you'll get us across the border.
-I swear to God I won't try to escape and I'll do my best to get you into Mexico.
-I'm telling you, don't hurt her.
-As long as you're cool, she'll be cool. What're ya gonna say?
-I don't have the slightest idea.
-We did our part, we gotcha in Mexico. Now it's time for your part, letting us go.
-Then?
-Out of the stew pot and into the fire.
-Who else?
-Pass.
-Why not, against your religion?
-No, I do drink, I'm just not drinking now.
-Why are you so agitated?
-I'm still stewing about that ape laying hands on me. And that fuckin' bartender sticks a weed up my ass, too.
-He backed down.
-He's smilin' at us. But behind his smile, he's sayin', "Fuck you Jack." I hear that loud and clear.
-What are you going to do?
-I'm gonna just sit here and drain this bottle. And when I've drunk the last drop, if I still feel then, the way I feel now, I'm gonna take this bottle and break it over his melon head.
-Before we stepped in here, you told all of us to be cool. That means you, too.
-I never said do what I do, I said do what I say.
-What did you call me?
-To your family.
-Now, is your shit together?
-Okay, does anybody here know what's going on?
-You too, preacher?
-I'm like you. I don't believe in vampires, but I believe in what I saw.
-Good for you. Now, since we all believe we're dealing with vampires, what do we know about vampires? Crosses hurt vampires. Do you have a cross?
-In the Winnebago.
-I don't know about that. In order for it to have any power, I think it's gotta be an official crucifix.
-What's an official cross? Some piece of tin made in Taiwan? What makes that official? If a cross works against vampires, it's not the cross itself, it's what the cross represents. The cross is a symbol of holiness.
-Did he...?
-You all are gonna fuckin' die! I'm gonna fuckin' kill every last one of you godless pieces of shit!
-What's this stuff?
-My guess is that this little dive's been feeding on nomad road waifs like bikers and truckers for a longtime. This is probably some of the shipments they stole off the trucks.
-Well, I say lets tear this place apart for weapons. So when they burst through that door, we'll make 'em wish they never did.
-I don't give a shit about living or dying anymore. I just want to send as many of these devils back to hell as I can.
-I promise.
-It's the bitterest of pills.
-You two ought to start a stand-up act, because you're just wasting your humor on me.
-I just bet you would. Don't even think about it. Besides, I want to have one night's sleep in an honest- to-goodness bed. The beds in the home are okay, but they're not like a real bed.
-Dad, when I called the machine to check our messages there was one from Bethel Baptist. Mr. Franklin said he wouldn't permanently replace you until we came back. He said when we come home, if you still feel the same way --
-That's very nice of Ted, but I'll call him tomorrow and tell him not to bother waiting.
-I didn't want to talk about this in front of Scott because he gets upset. But you don't believe in God anymore?
-Not enough to be a pastor. Look, I know this is hard on you kids. After Jenny's death, this is probably the last thing you need. But I can't do it any longer. My congregation needs spiritual leadership. Well, they can't get that from me anymore. My faith is gone. To answer your question, yes, I do believe in Jesus. But do I love
-It's just, all our lives you've been a pastor. For twenty years you've preached trust in the lord. And then one day you wake up and say fuck him?
-I didn't say fuck him. I'm just not connected anymore.
-That happens, you'll get it back.
-Kate, give your old man a little credit. Every person who chooses the service of God as their life's work has something in common. I don't care if you're a preacher, a priest, a nun, a rabbi or a Buddhist monk. Many, many times during your life you'll look at your reflection in the mirror and ask yourself, am I a fool? We've all
-What do you think Mom would say?
-There's nothing wrong with this place.
-It's a flop house.
-It's not a flop house. It's basic and simple. That doesn't make it a flop house.
-It has a bed. That's all I care about.
-About two hours from now.
-You're gonna be okay, aren't you, daddy?
-I promise.
-Kate, we don't have all day, so I'm only gonna count to five. One...two... three... four...
-Okay, okay, I promise I'll do it!
-Not good enough, swear to God.
-I swear to God, our father, that when you change into one of the undead, I will kill you.
-I'm going for 'em!
-No!
-What's going on?
-Richie, will you do me a favor and eat my pussy?
-What?
-Where are you taking us?
-Mexico.
-What's in Mexico?
-What?
-In the room. Were you serious, or were you just foolin' around? I'm just bringing it up, 'cause if you really want me to do that for you, I will.
-Do what?
-What you said to me in the room.
-What did I say?
-Creepy guy.
-You got three minutes. One second longer, I shoot your father in the face. Do you understand what I just said?
-Yes.
-Do you believe me?
-Yes.
-Yeah.
-You must have a bible in here, don't cha?
-Yeah, we got a bible.
-You're gonna let us go?
-How about you, cutie pie? Ready for round two?
-Are you okay?
-Peachy! Why shouldn't I be? The world's my oyster, except for the fact that I just rammed a wooden stake in my brother's heart because he turned into a vampire, even though I don't believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's hunky-dory.
-I'm really sorry.
-We have to go back for Daddy!
-Daddy's dead.
-Watch my back!
-How many bullets left, kid?
-Not many.
-Should I use the last bullets on us?
-I'm sorry.
-See ya.
-Why, just look at all this. You got your kitchen --
--- you got your microwave --
--- you got your sink --
--- you got your shower --
--- see this, television!
-For the time being we are very confident we will apprehend the fugitives in the next forty-eight hours. The Bureau, local law enforcement and the Texas Rangers have all joined forces in forming a dragnet to snare Seth and Richard Gecko.
-Agent Chase, does it appear that they are heading for Mexico.
-Yes, it does, Kelly. We have already alerted the Mexican authorities. They intend to cooperate every way possible in bringing these fugitives to justice.
-Are you optimistic about the safety of the hostage they took in Abilene, Gloria Hill?
-We've received no news one way or the other. We can only hope for the best.
-What about the report from an eyewitness at the liquor store who said one of the brothers was shot?
-This can't be confirmed at this time, but we do believe it to be true. We have reason to believe it was the youngest brother Richard, and he was shot in the vicinity of his neck and shoulders by the store's clerk.
-Is it safe to assume that because the death count involved and the loss of life of law enforcement officers, that the Bureau, the Rangers and the police force are taking this manhunt personally?
-Hot goddamn day!
-Haven't felt it a bit. Been inside with the air conditioner blastin' all day long.
-Not even for lunch?
-Jesus Christ man, that microwave food will kill ya as quick as a bullet. Those burritos are only fit for a hippie high on weed. Pull me down a bottle of Jack Daniels. I'm gettin' tanked tonight.
-Whatsamatter?
-Awww, it's just been a shitass day. Every inch of it hot and miserable. First off, Nadine at the Blue Chip got some sorta sick, so that Mongoloid boy of hers was workin' the grill. That fuckin' idiot don't know rat shit from Rice Krispies. I ate breakfast at nine, was pukin' up pigs in a blanket like a sick dog by ten thirty.
-Isn't there a law or something against retards serving food to the public?
-Well, if there ain't there sure oughta be. Who knows what goes on inside Mongoloid's mind?
-You could sue the shit out of her, ya know. That kid belongs under a circus tent, not flippin' burgers. You could own that fuckin' place.
-What the hell would I do with that grease pit? Besides, Nadine's got enough of a cross to bear just taking care of that potato head. Then all this Abilene shit happened. You heard about that bank robbery in Abilene, didn't ya?
-That's all that's been on the box all day. They killed some people didn't they?
-They'll probably make a run for the border, which would bring 'em this way. And if we get our hands on those shit asses, we're talking payback time. We'll get 'em all right. I gotta piss. I'm gonna use your commode.
-Yeah, and I'm gonna be right back at it tomorrow. So tonight I'm gonna sit in front of the box and just drink booze. How much is the bottle?
-What do you want from me? I did what you said.
-Letting him use your toilet? No store does that.
-He comes in here every day and we bullshit. He's used my toilet a thousand times. If I told him no, he'd know something was up.
-Were you giving that pig signals?
-He says you were scratching.
-I wasn't scratching!
-I never said help us!
-Whiskey!
-You can't come in here.
-What dya mean?
-This is a private club. You're not welcome.
-Are you tellin' me I'm not good enough to drink here?
-Best in Mexico.
-What the fuck was that about?
-What the fuck is wrong with you --
-Start the car.
-You believe me don't cha?
-Richie? You okay?
-Yeah?
-When I count three, shoot out the bottles behind him!
-Gotcha!
-What did I tell you? What did I tell you? Buy the road map and leave.
-What am I supposed to do, Seth? He recognized us.
-Do they have cable?
-No.
-Do they have an X-rated channel?
-No.
-Do they have a waterbed?
-How's it feel?
-I got both rooms on either side of us, so we don't gotta worry about eavesdropping assholes. How's that feel? You okay?
-Feels good.
-Hey, when you talk to him, see if you can arrange a better deal than thirty percent.
-That's their standard deal, brother. They ain't about to change it for us.
-Did you even to try to negotiate?
-These guys ain't spic firecracker salesman from Tijuana. They don't even know the meaning of the word "barter". You wanna stay in El Ray? You give them thirty percent of your loot. It's scripture. So it is written, so shall it be done. You want sanctuary, you pay the price, and the price is thirty percent.
-All I'm saying --
-Shit, I started to get worried. Where the fuck ya been?
-Sight seein'.
-What'd ya see?
-Cops.
-Yeah, I saw the border. Through binoculars from on top of a high building. That's about as close as I risked getting. What's the TV say?
-I gotta figure a way to get across that goddamn border. Longer we fuck around El Paso our lives ain't worth a shit.
-Look, fuck the border. Let's just dig in and wait for things to cool down.
-Richie, it's gonna get a lot fuckin' worse before it gets any fuckin' better. We showed our ass in Texas. We killed Texas fuckin' Rangers. They ain't gonna stop lookin' till they find us, and when they find us, they're gonna kill us. Texans take it very personal when ya kill their law enforcement officers. The El Paso police have already started a motel
-How do you know?
-Where's the woman?
-What'd ya mean, what? The fuckin' woman, the hostage. Where the fuck is she, Richard!?
-She's in the other room.
-Yeah, explain it to me. I need an explanation. What's the matter with you?
-There's nothing wrong with me, brother. That woman tried to escape and I did what I had to do.
-No. That woman wouldn't of said shit if she had a mouthful.
-Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Once you left, she became a whole different person.
-Is it me? Is it my fault?
-Is this my fault? Do you think this is what I am?
-What?
-This is not me! I am a professional fucking thief. I steal money. You try to stop me, god help you. But I don't kill people I don't have to, and I don't rape women. What you doin' ain't how it's done. Do you understand?
-Seth, if you were me --
-Just say yes! Nothing else, just say yes.
-Yes.
-Yes, Seth, I understand.
-Richard!
-This isn't gonna work.
-Shut up. It's gonna work just fine,
-I just want to go on record as saying this is a bad idea.
-They're gonna search the van.
-As long as you don't act like a fuckin' nut, we'll be just fine.
-What does that mean?
-You just called me a fuckin' nut.
-No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did. You said as long as I don't act like a fuckin' nut, implying that I've been acting like a fuckin' nut.
-Take a pill, kid. I just meant stay cool.
-This ain't the time, Richard.
-Fuck those spic pigs! You called me a fuckin' nut, and where I come from, that stops the train on its tracks.
-Keep your voice down.
-I'm curious. What was the nuttiest thing I did?
-This ain't the time.
-You okay?
-Yeah, I think so. What happened?
-I don't know, you just passed out.
-I did?
-Yeah, we were just standing there. You said something about your shoulder hurting, then you just hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.
-Really?
-Yeah, when you fell your head smacked the toilet hard. It scared the shit outta me. Sure you're okay?
-Yeah, I guess. I'm just a little fucked up.
-Well, let me tell ya something, gonna clear your head right up. We are officially Mexicans.
-What?
-We are... "South of the border down Mexico way."
-We are?
-Far out. Where are my glasses?
-They broke when you fell.
-Oh, fuck, Seth, that's my only pair!
-Don't worry about it, we'll get you some glasses.
-What dya mean, don't worry about it. Of course I'm gonna worry about it, I can't fuckin' see.
-When we get to El Ray, I'll take care of it.
-Yeah, like a Mexican hole-in-the- wall's gonna have my fuckin' prescription.
-That's what you think?
-That's how you're lookin', Richie.
-I'm lookin' scared?
-That's what you look like.
-You know what you look like?
-No, Richie, what do I look like?
-How?
-Where are you right now?
-What do you mean?
-Where are you?
-I'm here with you.
-No, you're not. You're sippin' margaritas in El Ray. But we're not in El Ray. We're here -- getting ready to go in there. You're so pleased with yourself about getting into Mexico, you think the job's down. It ain't. Get back on the clock. That's a fuck-with-you-bar. We hang around there for a coupla hours, in all likelihood, we'll get fucked with. So
-My shit is together.
-It don't look together.
-Earth to Richie. Don't you wanna ask your new friend to join us?
-Yeah.
-Well, then ask her, dumb ass.
-How are you?
-How 'bout you? You are safer in here with us than wandering around a Mexican border town all night long. Just don't do nothin' stupid and we'll all get along fine. Scotty, you sure you don't want a drink?
-In that camper out there I saw a guitar. I take it that's yours.
-Yeah, it's mine.
-You could take their head off.
-He's right, Kate. Daddy's dead! He was too far away. If flinging that door and filling this room with those bat-things would save him, I'd fling it. The only thing it'll do is turn us into one of them.
-He needs our help!
-B.O.Q., south side. Take a starboard tack out the door.
-Thank you, ensign.
-They take you away to San Clemente Island. Half the guys quit when they come back. Supposed to be just hell-and-a-half.
-That's what I hear.
-Can I ask you somethin', lieutenant? How come you're doing this? I mean, we're kinda curious.
-Who's "we"?
-I don't know if there's any single reason. But my father was Navy. And he had this old-time recruiting poster in his den. It showed a girl trying on a sailor's uniform while saying, "Gee, I wish I were a man! I'd join the Navy!" Was maybe 10 years old when I first saw it, and even then it felt wrong. Made me mad.
-I've been accused of that wish.
-The woman I saw you with...
-Just a friend. We have friends, too, you know.
-But are there... I mean, how many...
-Administration, Ensign Blondell.
-Don't say my name.
-Who's... Lieuten --
-Or rank. But can you do me a favor and pull a transfer order?
-Okay, but... You didn't have to do what you did. Not for me.
-Got it.
-Who signed as his "sponsoring officer"?
-Wow...
-Commander, are you of the habit of letting photographers traipse around your base snappin' their fill? These were supposed to have been discreet test cases --
-Senator, they stand out on the public highway with telephoto lenses --
--- and now I got reporters from Toadsquat, Iowa, calling my office and askin' what I know about this "G.I. Jane" thing.
--- nothing I can do about it unless you're suggesting I infringe on their civil liberties -- which I'd happily do if you'll just trim a little fat off the Constitution.
-Well, seein's how this thing is out, you let me handle the r.p.m. From this point forward, I want all press matters coordinated via my office. I'll be god-damned if I'm gonna watch Hayes pull flowers out of his ass and take credit for this one. Him or the President. This my shade? "Midnight Mahogany"? 'Cuz I'm comin' dangerously close to lookin' like Ronald
-Your prerogative, Senator.
-Awright. How's our girl doin', anyway?
-Standing right here in my office.
-Uh, V.I.P. security arrangements generally take some time, Senator.
-"Security"? What the hell you talkin' about? Your base isn't secure?
-Of course, but there's more --
-Yes, of course. Please, have a seat, lieutenant...
-Thank you, sir.
-Would you care for a beverage? Tea?
-I'm fine, sir.
-So. We're still coming to terms with the exact protocol for this -- for integrating the Spec-Recon training. It may not always be smooth, but we're trying to make it as painless as possible for you.
-Barber was my next stop, sir. Would've had it regulation sooner, only --
-Don't worry about it. If it's off your collar and out of your eyes, that's all I'm going to ask.
-Really, I have no problem with --
-I'm not out to change your sex, lieutenant. You'll have separate beds, separate heads. If you have specific medical needs, inform the infirmary. If a classmate or superior acts in an harassing or otherwise unbecoming manner, please inform me immediately so I can deal with it immediately. Questions?
-None at this time, sir.
-Sir, I just want you to know... I'm not here to make a statement. I don't want to make men look foolish. All I care about is completing the training and getting operational experience -- just like everyone else, I suspect.
-Pardon the hour, sir. But you told me to come to you immediately if I felt I was being mistreated in any way.
-All right, lieutenant, give me a name and specifics, I'll have the X.O. file an action first thing in the morning. A name?
-It's you, sir. And it started the day I came here.
-Oh, really.
-It's this double-standard, the separate quarters, the deferential treatment. It's how you pulled out my chair and nearly served high tea the first time we met.
-Because I was civil, now you're complaining.
-I can't afford civility, sir. How am I supposed to fit in with these guys when you've got me set up as an outsider? Even if I make it under these rules, I still lose, because there'll always be a flag in my file -- "Yeah, she made it, but..." I mean, really -- why didn't you just issue me a goddamn petticoat to
-Did you just have a brain-fart?
-Pardon?
-Did you just barge in here and curse at your base commander? If so, I regard that as a bonafide brain- fart, and I resent it when people fart inside my home.
-What I resent, lieutenant, is some politician using my base as a test tube for her grand social experiment. What I resent is the sensitivity training that is now mandatory for my men... the day-care center I have to build where an officer's lounge used to be... and the OB/GYN I have to keep on staff just so someone can keep track of your
-No, sir.
-No, sir, WHAT?
-Well. 'Least now we're talking the same language. So one standard. Is that what you're after?
-Same rules for everyone, sir.
-Straight up?
-Across the board, sir.
-And if you just happen to wash out, I won't have to contend with you bitchin' to some hairy-chested female Senator? And please note I did not identify any one in particular.
-Then good night.
-So I'll get a fair shot?
-See me, sir?
-Sir, I want you to know that I had nothing to do with any of this. Not this article, not --
-Permission to leave, sir?
-I don't know of any delicate way to say this, lieutenant, so I won't try. Claims have been made that you have engaged in fraternization -- of the same-sex variety. Specifically, that you were... "... seen leaving the apartment of another female officer at such a time and in such a manner as to suggest conduct unbecoming."
-I'm saying, we're just friends.
-I find this as distasteful as you, lieutenant. But if it's on my desk, it's on my shoulders. There's going to be an inquiry -- it will not be quick and it will definitely not be pretty. You should prepare yourself.
-Sir, please... if there's any way to do this without dragging everyone through the mud...
-Sir. If tomorrow... I was not under your command... would the inquiry still go forward?
-I'm not sure what --
-Well, if you had to go over my head, lieutenant, that's the way to do it. Christ, nothin' like a 0-200 call from the Commander and Chief to get the bowels movin'.
-Sir? What did he say?
-Aw, what is this...
-Ah, c'mon...
-Fine by me, sir!
-Newberry, get a photo. South?
-Entering my scan now...
-Shit. Think we're had.
-Smoke her.
-I ain't gonna shoot her.
-Only blanks. Lemme do it.
-Banditos on the east perimeter! 150 yards! Shit, she was part of it!
-What, we're gonna pry 'em out with paddles?
-White House boys want a private meeting.
-Think I overplayed it?
-Yes?
-Did you hear?
-She made it through S.E.R.E. training. Got a call this morning from --
-... last few years have brought many advances in the interests of women in naval service, particularly in the land-based maritime specialties. What's more, the Navy has instituted special sensitivity courses with an eye on --
-Hardly the case, Senator.
-"The Lark Report."
-Madam Senator... this is an internal document of the U.S. Navy. I must seriously question whether --
-The Navy's conclusion regarding the crash of an F-14 aboard an aircraft carrier. Female aviator, it just so happens. You're familiar with this report and its conclusion, am I right?
-I was one member of the investigating commission.
-Yes, I see your signature right here -- twice the size of everyone else's. And your conclusion was "pilot error," hmm?
-I'm really not prepared for any kind of in-depth review of --
-The commission concluded that the aviator in question failed to execute a proper approach to the carrier.
-So everyone I talk to says you're top drawer with silk stockings inside.
-Thank you, ma'am. Um, may I ask what this is regarding?
-"Coronado."
-California.
-I know that, sir. Ma'am. It's just that... Beggin' your pardon, Senator, but... do you understand that this involves combat training?
-This is just a test case, O'Neil. But if it works out -- if you work out -- it could well change the Navy's official policy on women in combat. Or, actually, its official non-policy. Now who's your immediate superior there?
-Captain Dwyer. Technically.
-My office will fill him in and help expedite. Look forward to meeting you at the proper time. Jumping off now...
-Uh, question, ma'am.
-Yes, dear.
-Would I be the only one? The only woman?
-Can't complain, ma'am.
-Hmmm. Maybe I'll ask when I see you in person.
-Uh, ma'am.
-Jordan. I always hoped we'd get together -- though just now I'm gearing up for a child-care vote that --
-You know him.
-Sounds familiar.
-It should. You nominated him for Spec-Recon just three days after you nominated me.
-Jordan. Might we do this over lunch tomorrow? I do very much want to talk, but now is scarcely --
-Did you set me up? Did you set me up just to see me fail?
-Wickwire was there to help. To be my eyes on the inside, to make sure you were getting a fair shot. At least that was the intent.
-What changed?
-Should probably ask him that.
-So? Isn't the President jumping on your bandwagon?
-What he did was light the bandwagon on fire. Because he knows what I know -- that American families are not prepared to put their daughters in harm's way.
-You don't know that.
-In face, I do: Roper, Harris, Gallop -- they all come back the same.
-What are you saying? That a women's life is more valuable than a man's? That a women's death hurts a family more?
-You were never going to let women serve in combat. You always had a safety net. Or thought you did.
-Jordan. I don't expect you to fully understand this -- but sometimes there's more to be gained from the fight than the victory.
-So the rhetoric gets you headlines. But the reality gets you in trouble.
-The reality is this: We send far too many men off to war. I don't need to compound the problem with women. Can you honestly tell me you wanted that life? Squat-pissing in some third-world jungle with --
-I once promised you a fast ticket, Jordan, and I always meant to make good on that. Come work for me. I can always use a hard-charger on my team.
-You promise Wickwire a fast ticket, too?
-I've had no direct communication with him since this whole thing began. And that's quite verifiable.
-I'm sure it is.
-You'll think about my offer?
-You know, I wonder what the SecNav would think about it. If I spoke with him.
-So she picks the women, we pick the programs. Seals?
-I'd go Special Reconnaissance. Every bit as tough -- and we have a 60 percent drop-out rate among the men.
-Then I suggest we start there.
-What the hell is the President trying to do? Steal DeHaven's thunder?
-I think it's more important, sir, to decide what we're going to do -- since it's apparent this issue is not going away quietly.
-Montgomery, why do they call you "Flea"?
-It's really "F. Lee Montgomery" -- but that gets whittled down to just "Flea." For short, ma'am.
-So it really has nothing to do with actual brain size?
-No, ma'am.
-Well, Flea, I appreciate the respect you just showed me. But I don't need it and don't want it -- not that kind of respect, anyway. It's just gonna hurt us both, okay?
-I'll work on it, ma'am.
-Hey. You okay, Flea?
-Really don't wanna be captured, el- tee. Heard some bad things.
-Close as I can get, el-tee!
-Six o'clock! Marking, marking!
-Don't have to use it, O'Neil, but it's gotta go out. Five... four... three...
-I can make this wall without --
-Just do it, okay?
-If you can't feel the other guy's pecker, you ain't in tight enough! I want nuts to butts!
-Come on, Montgomery...
-O'Neil?
-Sir?
-Time.
-Miller. Thought the guy was made of depleted uranium. Really didn't expect to lose him.
-Boat Five -- Wickwire, Cozad, Vinyl, Intagliata, Ayers, and Wise. Lieutenant Wickwire is your senior officer. Follow his orders to your death.
-You don't think she'd be raped if she were captured? You don't think the threat of rape would be used to leverage the men?
-You broke a dozen training rules back there -- before I lost count.
-I've had it. Just because they pay me like a baby-sitter doesn't mean I'm gonna be one.
-She's a trainee, just like the others. Why are you coming down so hard?
-She's an officer. There's a higher standard.
-She's a women, and that's why you're ridin' her bareback.
-Of course it is. And I'm gonna stay on her until everyone realizes this is not some bullshit equal-rights thing, that real lives are gonna be lost. Maybe mine, maybe yours.
-I oughtta report you.
-Thank you, sir. But I like these just fine.
-Not doin' them very fine, O'Neil.
-I'll try anyway, sir.
-Automatic five-second deduction, which slips you under the wire. It's called "gender-norming," O'Neil -- standard procedure for all females in physical training courses. Where you been the last few years?
-The Navy Cross...
-I believe he earned it for saving a man's life in Saudi Arabia. He wanted you to have it. He was very clear on that point.
-I was looking for him earlier, but...
-The Chief was granted early retirement as of 17-hundred yesterday. By 18-hundred he was gone. Out of the Navy.
-Just a coincidence?
-Lieutenant O'Neil.
-Gotta situation here. Where are you? Stuck in traffic?
-Do we know it's him using the beacon? Not a decoy?
-Signals received only sparingly, in such a pattern that leads us to conclude it is a downed aviator trying to conserve his batteries.
-Chances of recovery?
-North Korean beaches are the best protected, most heavily monitored in the world. The civilian population is so propagandized that it acts as an Early Warning system. Extraction team has to be small and silent -- I'd go with Seals over Delta Force. Problem is, don't want to hold a conventional sub off-shore for target practice. Where's The Polk?
-Halfway 'round the world. So that's the problem -- we can get the team in, just not out.
-Unless you Whiskey Run.
-Blank faces here, O'Neil.
-You expect the extraction team to ride the sub bare-back? Is that correct, O'Neil?
-That was good headwork, lieutenant.
-Thank you, sir. We hear back from the Pentagon?
-Probably hear back from CNN first.
-Hate this part. Just sweating it out on the sidelines.
-By the way, I'll need that option paper by 11-hundred today so I can review it with Admiral Hanover. And do we have any of that breakfast tea around here?
-So why're you even considering it? Are you?
-Just like you would be.
-Spec-Recon. Those guys are world- class warriors. And they will not want you there, Jordan.
-Well, you're doin' shit-hot at Intel.
-Royce. We're the same age, we started the same time -- and now you're sitting in the upperdecks while I'm still down in the bullpen. What does that tell you about the Navy?
-She's haze grey and underway...
-You need operational duty to really advance... you need combat training to go operational... yet combat training is off-limits to people with tits. I'm topped out at Intel. Forget the glass ceiling -- I'm beating my head on a big brass ceiling.
-So dump on me.
-This has nothing to do with you.
-Well, guess I don't even need to be here...
-Get your dick back here. It has everything to do with you.
-You're such a ball-breaker sometimes. Especially at night.
-Sorry. But after our days... So if I try this thing... if I ship out to Coronado... what happens here?
-I'll try to keep the door open. If you wash out, I make it so that --
-Wai', wait. What happens if it works? Four months of training, three years of operational duty. What then?
-I don't feel like doing an option paper on the rest of my life, Jordan. Maybe we should just let it happen.
-Which is guy-speak for...
-Sounded lame as soon as it came out of my mouth. But I'm trying to be honest, okay? Three years is a long time. Don't ask me to predict how I'll feel then, Jordan, because I don't know. And either do you.
-Jordan...
-I've been trying you for five days. Don't they give you messages?
-It's hard to find time to sleep, Royce. Much less keep up with my phone life.
-That bad?
-Well, not this. I was doing the Pentagon scene few nights ago. Got some fresh stuff -- about you. You may be in a hostile camp. I think someone may be taking steps to ensure that you crash and burn.
-Me? Why me?
-Don't you know? How they're talking about you?
-I saw an article...
-So why are you telling me this?
-Big symbols make big targets, Jordan. I think someone's gunning for you.
-You know, Royce, I got enough heat on me without you turning up the jets, too.
-I'm only trying to warn you in case --
-Well, let me warm you: I'm going though with this. The more everybody fucks with me, fucks with my head, the more it just makes me want to finish. So don't expect me back crying in your arms any time soon, okay?
-That's not what I want, Jordan. I mean... it is and it isn't...
-Still can't make up your mind, huh? Gotta go, Royce.
-Jordan. You watch your ass.
-All I wanted was an honest chance. And If I couldn't get it, I couldn't stay.
-And this class officer... "Wickwire." You think he was just trying to get even? Striking back for...
-Maybe. Though it didn't seem like he was getting any satisfaction out of it. Almost like... Did I say he was class officer?
-Almost like someone put him up to it. Okay, who?
-No shortage of suspects.
-C'mon, Jordan. Do the headwork with me.
-It's done with, Royce. Let it go.
-Someone screwed you over like this, left unanswered charges hanging over your head, and you're not gonna fight back?
-I'm tired of fighting back. I just wanted to come home and be safe and have you here and the river there and just forget the rest of the world, okay?
-"John James Urgayle." The Chief.
-What about him.
-Instructors typically pull three year assignments. This guy's in and out in one year -- your year. That sound right?
-Sounds like an amazing coincidence.
-Or like maybe he was baby sitting a problem child for the Navy.
-I don't know, I don't care.
-"In Washington..."
-What?
-"Wickwire, Thomas Dane"... Second run at Coronado... and correct, they had him stashed in the "Appropriation Liaison Office," whatever that is.
-You don't crap out of Spec-Recon and get another shot without dispensation from someone up in flag country. He's got a Sea Daddy somewhere.
-I'd sure like to know who.
-So here we are again. Staring three years of operational duty in the face.
-Look. It's not like you'd be completely out of reach. And maybe we could call in a few favors, get you stationed at Norfolk instead of Coronado. There are ways of dealing with these things -- I mean, if people are so inclined.
-Which is guy-speak for...
-They're more afraid of you.
-Well, now I feel so much better.
-It was made clear before you came -- harassment equals career suicide. Can't say anything good, so they don't say much at all. To your face, anyway.
-Whose orders were those?
-It was made clear. Anyway, stay ballsy. First week's hell, then it levels out. Until S.E.R.E. training, anyway. That's hell-and-a-half.
-And how do you know that?
-Made it to Week 10 last time.
-I didn't know they let you try again. Especially at your age.
-Hey. Way to gut it out.
-Who is it?
-You know, I had an apartment about this size once.
-Wick. They got your crew, too?
-You really came back for more? Of this?
-When I was sittin' behind a desk in Washington, it made sense, somehow. Blame it on my big brother. He was Spec-Recon. And the stories he used to tell...
-One time he was doing a rekkie of the Libyan coastline. This is, like, right before we bombed Khadaffi into the past tense. So his crew does a nighttime infil, maps all the big artillery placements and stuff, then turns around to get the hell gone. But between them and the water are five Libyan guards, all armed to the nuts.
-They had to kill 'em?
-Nah, they were dead-ass asleep. But on every guard's chest,they left one Marlboro cigarette. Just a little calling card to say they'd been there -- and could come back any time they wanted.
-That's a good story.
-So the shit you gotta go through? To get from here to there? Brother said it was worth it. Worth the training... worth the divorce... worth anything.
-He was married?
-At first.
-You got anybody, Wick?
-O'Neil?
-How'd you make it last time, Wick? How'd you get through this part?
-Last time I didn't.
-Sorry, didn't mean to --
-That's okay. Just an ex-girlfriend. And know I remember why.
-First big night of liberty and no date? You're pathetic, Wickwire.
-Maybe I'll just head over to McP's with the others, have a drink or four. Don't wanna come, do you?
-I can't go out. Not like this.
-I think you look beautiful.
-Do you, uh, know...
-Sure, sure.
-We're going over to her place to make salad and pasta. Just, you know, nothing special.
-I'm sorry, O'Neil. But as class officer, it's my obligation to report all violations.
-What're you guys doing? Huh?
-Just askin'
-She part of the training?
-If not, firing will only give away our position to hostiles in the area. Now how smart is that?
-32 feet, six inches!
-'Cool?
-So we got two full mini-tanks, three minutes each. 'Cool? How much air in yours?
-Maybe half. Not even.
-Say again, sir?
-Chief, sir, I don't understand why --
-Permission to get dressed, sir?
-It seems the men couldn't get used to the sight of women blown open and their viscera hanging from tree limbs. Israeli men would linger over wounded females -- often to the detriment of the mission, often endangering their own lives. They don't use women anymore.
-Sir, someone mentioned you received the Navy Cross. May I ask what you got it for?
-For pulling a 210-pound man out of a burning barrack in Saudi Arabia.
-I see. So when a man tries to rescue another man, he's a hero. But when he tries to rescue a woman, he's gone soft.
-Females in combat situations impact unit cohesion. Men fight better without women around. And that is an historical fact.
-England went out with a stress fracture. That puts you in charge, lieutenant.
-McCool's that same rank. We're both j.g.'s.
-Simple question, lieutenant. No reason not to answer. What is your father's name?
-"Dad."
-Any brothers? Sisters?
-Dick, Jane, and Spot.
-Are you hungry? What's your favorite food? We'll try to get it for you.
-Green Eggs and Ham. You're not going to get anywhere. You might as well put me in the cage.
-You are in the cage, O'Neil. Right here, right now.
-Should I be afraid?
-Why didn't you shoot the woman, O'Neil?
-Wasn't deemed a threat.
-Would you have shot if it was a man?
-No. Yes. I mean, depends on --
-The others already told me, O'Neil. They wanted to shoot, but you wouldn't let them. Because you went soft on another women --
-That's not right.
-That's what your crew said. Are they lying? Or are you?
-I think you're the liar.
-I'm not the one who got five good men thrown in a bamboo cage. You wear the bars, you made the call, and you got your whole crew --
-We didn't know we were compromised. Firing would only've given away our position.
-Do you?
-No.
-Didn't you know you'd be raped if you were captured? Didn't you even think about that?
-Sure. Just like your men do.
-Well, I'm trying to figure out if you're stupid, unlucky, gluttonous -- or some new alloy of all three.
-Good to see you again, too, sir.
-Managed to activate the ELB. If you just radio base and let them know, they'll fix on that. Oh, and make sure they send a helo with a winch -- door's blocked by a reef. Over.
-Chief, sir -- rescue team won't be here for 15 minutes. What's your air situation? Over.
-Say again? How many micks?
-Got it.
-O'Neil...
-Well, who the shit you think you are? Comin' in here like that?
-Anybody usin' these drawers here?
-Hey, hey, HEY. No possibility. You can't stay in here. You can't sleep right next to me.
-Aw, lookit this, lookit this -- she's bringin' Tampax in here. C'mon, you got nothin' but rooms over there.
-That your desk? I'll take this one.
-WOULD YOU JUST GET OUTTA HERE?
-Clear.
-All right, fire-and-evade maneuvers. Drop everything but weapons and the PRC radio -- we're gonna be high speed, low drag all the way to the link-up site. Ready?
-Sure. Now she wants to shoot.
-I just wonder how that happened.
-You don't suppose this is just part of...
-Maybe we should call the Coast Guard.
-We're fucked.
-Darth Vader reads poetry...
-Can't live with them, can't kill them. What's the point?
-You mind? I'm trying to eat here.
-This ain't workin' right!
-What's our go-to-shit plan, O'Neil?
-Subject?
-O'Neil, Jordan.
-Thought you two were file-closed.
-You knew about us?
-All right. So who stands to gain if Jordan flames out in a big way?
-The E-Ringers? Full integration is gonna cost the services billions at the worst possible time -- when Congress is already swinging the axe.
-Congress cuts, military bleeds. But Pentagon's a big place. Let's narrow the sights.
-The Navy? They've made it clear they don't want to pull missiles out of subs to make room for women's heads. What's it gonna cost to make a fleet of Trident's co-ed?
-Sabotage born of economics? Wouldn't be a first. But is Hayes really going to start his watch with such a public failure?
-Possibly. Just to spite DeHaven.
-The White House. If Jordan wins, DeHaven wins in spades. Why? Well, it's been said that the only man the President fears -- ain't no man.
-The first female President?
-Don't for a second think she didn't leak this story. "G.I. Jane" gives DeHaven a symbol that taps into the biggest constituency of them all.
-Women.
-If you were the President, wouldn't that put a little piss in your shoes?
-I don't know. Seems...
-This ain't about some little soldier girl sloggin' her way through commando school. The implications go way beyond.
-Christ, I don't want to see her take a fall. She thinks I do, but...
-I take it this file is still open.
-Even tough I don't talk to her every day -- I still talk to her every day. Know what I mean?
-Okay, so now work it from the other end. Think about California -- and how things might be handled there.
-I don't... What, someone on base? A "mole"?
-That's cuz I'm married to you.
-Shut up. How can you eat like that?
-I'm telling you he's dirt. He's a douche bag, gutter slime, dog crap, puke chunks...
-Hey, hey! I'm eating here!
-Audrey's going to stay with us tonight.
-Who the hell are all these people?
-What? I just couldn't just let them sleep in the street.
-Where's Audrey?
-In the bedroom. Crying her eyes out because of you.
-What?
-All that "you gotta be vicious" stuff you filled her head with.
-Me!? You where the one...
-I like that image.
-Animal, you don't think that's true, do you?
-Nice guys finish last. First rule of the jungle.
-That why you dumped him?
-How long where you and dis guy goin' steady?
-Great stuff, Animal. Weren't you scared?
-He stole my report! That's my report!
-You okay?
-It's all my fault. What have I done, Animal? What have I become? Look at me. This isn't me. I don't do things like this.
-Yeah, I just screwed up with the only man who ever really cared about me.
-Didn't you tell me he left for the airport?
-Yeah. Why are you asking?
-My God. He's going after the nest.
-Animal, I can't.
-What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
-Don't you think we have enough?
-Think we can fit up in there?
-He's not going to do it.
-Cut uptown, take 8th to 57th then cut up Broadway.
-You're crazy, go to the east side and take the park avenue to the JFK.
-What are you talking about? The east side is always faster.
-Audrey, did you take the tape out of the camera?
-I'll take them all.
-Audrey?! Is that you? Hi, hello. You look, wow, uh, how've you been?
-So you made it.
-You're a reporter. That's what you always wanted to be, right? I'm happy for you. Really, I am.
-So, you still picking apart cockroaches?
-No, I'm into earthworms now. You wouldn't be interested. They're real "boring" creatures. Very reliable, dependable, no surprises...
-You're still mad at me, aren't you?
-You just left me without a phone call, a letter, nothing. All this time. Yeah, I guess I'm still a little mad.
-That was eight years ago. Some people change, you know.
-Most people don't.
-Wait. I'm sorry. You're right. Eight years is a long time. Can I offer you a cup of tea?
-I still can't believe it. How does a guy go from an anti-nuke activists to working for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission?
-When you and I use to attend rallies in college, we helped to create awareness. But from the inside now I can actually effect change. I never lost my idealism.
-And exactly what changes are you trying to effect?
-I have this theory that we're inadvertently creating new species as a direct result of what we've done to nature.
-And you think this creature is one of them?
-Yes. The first of its kind. I found this blood sample earlier this evening...
-Blood sample? How close did you get to that thing?
-I got pretty close.
-...he's pregnant.
-Well, obviously these tests weren't designed for this but fundamentally they're looking for the same hormonal patterns that would indicate pregnancy.
-The ultimate expression of evolution, it reproduces asexually. Think about it, all kinds of creatures have been known to travel great distances for reproduction. That's why he came to New York. Like every species of insufficient progenitors, he's nesting!
-Nesting?
-Is this cause of me? Because of the story?
-Well what the hell did you think was going to happen?
-You never said it was off the record.
-I shouldn't have to, Audrey. You're supposed to be my friend. I trusted you.
-I didn't mean for it to turn out like this. Look, I lied to you. I'm not a reporter. When we broke up and I came out to New York I was so sure I'd make it. But I haven't. That's why I needed this story so bad. I just couldn't tell you I'm a failure.
-What are you doing here?
-I thought you said there'd only be a dozen eggs.
-Circuits are overloaded.
-Come on, the broadcast booth is right over here.
-How do you know?
-The network is on an intranet. It's a direct feed into our computer system.
-If the military are listening, they must immediately destroy this building before they can escape.
-Are you okay?
-Somehow I never thought your life was this exciting.
-You'd be surprised.
-Who was that French guy, anyway.
-And I'm supposed to remind you to call him on all of Caiman's expense p.o.'s.
-My life sucks.
-I can't believe he put the moves on me. After everything I've done for him.
-It's Nick! I know that guy. I know him!
-Who is he?
-Did Romeo have a name?
-Four years. Girl, I'm surprised he didn't ask you to marry him.
-What the hell are you doing?
-Remember my friend we saw on t.v.?
-Your old sweetheart?
-Yeah, well he just turned up in New Jersey at the military command post. Somehow all this is related to what happened down in Panama. There's a story here. I know it. You got any tape or glue?
-Wish me luck!
-Audrey, I don't think this is a very good idea. Caiman finds out and he'll have your job.
-Hey, do you have any glue in your bag?
-What's it to you?
-Can I use some?
-What do I get?
-The warm feeling of helping your fellow man.
-Five bucks.
-Did you talk with Humphries?
-This is not the place...
-Just tell me, did you talk with him?
-He said he'd consider it. It's between you and Rodriguez.
-Mr. Caiman, you're married.
-And you're beautiful...
-Mr. Caiman...
-Call me Charlie.
-Mr. Caiman, I've been doing extra research for you after hours and weekends for nearly a year. And I've never asked for anything but this job is really important to me. I'm too old to be an assistant anymore. I need to know this job is going someplace.
-So have dinner with me tonight.
-I can't.
-Caiman, wait. Take me with you.
-What?
-I've got something on this. I know a guy on the inside with the military...
-You don't understand, I can get us information...
-We did it! We've got the exclusive! Way to go, Audrey!
-We? I don't think so.
-I want that story, Audrey. Remember you work for me.
-Hi. Nick Tatopoulos...
-Three years digging up worms in Chernobyl? How did Mrs. Tatopoulos handle it?
-Oh, I'm not married.
-Really? A girlfriend then?
-No. Perhaps I work too much.
-Not for a long time, now.
-Well, I think you're cute.
-Hence the radiation.
-Evacuate Manhattan? That's over three million people. Has that ever been done before?
-I'm sorry about all this.
-Make sure they find that nest before it's too late.
-Merde!
-They will set the trap at thirty minutes to ten.
-We've secured the doors on both levels.
-Where's Luc and Pierre?
-They didn't make it.
-When we learned he could burrow his way through the tunnels we realized he could be out of the quarantined zone.
-Christ. How many tunnels lead off the island?
-Only five, Sir. We've checked them all. He hasn't used any of them.
-Have them sealed off.
-And how should we do that, Sir?
-Who are they? Lieutenant, get those people away from there.
-CHARGEURES, property and casualty insurance. We are preparing a report.
-You're fast.
-That is our job.
-Well your people are getting in the way of my job.
-Major, what do you think could have done this?
-Dr. Niko Topopolosis?
-It's Tatopoulos.
-Right. The worm guy. Can someone get those people off the beach?
-Excuse me, would you mind telling me what the hell I'm doing here?
-You didn't answer my question. In fact, for the last 18 hours no one has answered any of my questions.
-Look, I may work for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission but accidents and spills are not my field.
-Do you know that you just interrupted a three year study of the Chernobyl earthworm?
-Yeah, you're the worm guy.
-The radioactive contamination in that area altered the earthworm's DNA! You have any idea what that means?
-No, but I have the feeling I'm about to find out.
-Seventeen percent, huh? Sounds big.
-They're enormous! A new species created by man's recklessness. That's what I've been trying to tell you, I'm only a biologist. I take radioactive samples and study them.
-What sample?
-That was a footprint. I was standing inside a footprint.
-That's right.
-But there's no animal in the world that can make prints like that? Is there?
-Somebody must have seen it.
-The radiation is not an anomaly, it's the clue. This creature is far too unique on every level to be some lost dinosaur.
-Don't tell me why it's not, tell me what the hell it is.
-You know, he's not an enemy trying to evade you. He's just an animal.
-What are you suggesting?
-Well, yes. I did. Clearly he was injured and bled.
-You see, all we need to do is get a better shot at it with weapons that don't rely on heat seeking...
-No, it reproduces asexually. That's why we must find the nest. If we don't, dozens will be born, each one capable of laying eggs of its own. Very quickly we could be looking at an enormous population.
-So after we kill the creature we'll begin a search for the nest.
-You gave them the tape?
-We think there's a strong reason to believe it may be hiding inside one of the buildings within the sequestered area.
-General Anderson, the problem was the terrain. If we lure him out into a more open area such as this portion of Central Park... We should be able to take him down.
-Last time you didn't even scratch it!
-Do you have any idea what's going on out there? The phones are ringing off the hook with people screaming to be let back into the city.
-We're sending divers into the river now to retrieve the body.
-Organize a search party. I want a complete sweep of the entire city and subway system.
-Are you looking for this?
-Do I know you?
-We've met before.
-SDECE, Service de Documentation Exterieure et de Contre-Espionnage. Agent Phillip Raymond.
-Sounds like a big company.
-It's the French Secret Service.
-Oh.
-We have learned that your American friends have decided not to look for the creature's nest.
-Are you sure? How do you know?
-We know.
-Why are you telling this to me?
-I need you to trust me.
-Why do you need that?
-I need your trust if you're to help me find the nest.
-Oh, my bags. I've checked them in.
-How did you get all of this stuff into the country?
-So why all the secrecy? Why aren't you guys working with the US military?
-I am a patriot. I love my country. Can you understand that?
-Sure.
-It is my job to protect my country. Sometimes I must even protect it from itself. From mistakes we have made. Mistakes that we do not want the world to know about.
-Your talking about the nuclear testing in the Pacific.
-Here. 23rd street subway station. Where we first found the fish. With a little luck, this will lead us right to it.
-So you're in?
-What's with the chewing gum?
-They've turned off the ventilation system. They're calling him to dinner.
-Three eggs. I thought there would be more.
-I think we should leave now.
-Contact the military and get them to send a bomber to blow up this building before these things escape.
-How do I do that?
-What'd they say?
-Who the hell are you?
-Hello?
-It's Raymond.
-I understand.
-I just wanted to say, au revoir and thank you for your help, my friend.
-Dr. Lazarus... I hope that I'm not breaching protocol but.. I am so very humbled to stand in your presence... I have studied your missions extensively... Though I am Thermian, I have lived my life by your philosophy, by the code of the Mak'tar.
-Well good, that's very... nice.
-By Grabthar's Hammer, Dr. Lazarus, I-
-Don't do that. I'm not kidding.
-I'm sorry, sir, I was only-
-Just don't.
-This is it?
-Yes sir. Marvelous, isn't it? Completely distractionless.
-Just as on your home planet, sir. If I may say, it took me three years to master the spikes, but now I sleep with a peace I never thought possible...
-Is that the bathroom?
-Dr. Lazarus, here is your surface mapper. I have programed it to the coordinates of a Beryllium Sphere of sufficient density.
-Thanks.
-Good luck on your mission, Sir. By Grabthar's Hammer, by the Suns of Warvan I wish you-
-Uh uh! What did we talk about?
-Sir, it's you Thank Ipthar!
-Quellek. What are you doing in there?
-I avoided capture using the Mak'tar stealth haze. Where is everyone?
-Sir! The pressure. It's normalizing.
-Okay, Quellek, let's get back to the command deck and-Suddenly we hear a PISTOL BLAST and Quellek's chest turns RED. Alexander and Quellek look down at the blood, horrified.
-Not so bad. We'll get you to medical quarters. You're going to be fine.
-I... I don't think I'm going to make it Sir...
-No, don't talk like that, son. We're going to get you fixed up.
-Don't speak, Quellek.
-Come on, old friend...
-You WILL go out there.
-I won't and nothing you say-
-"The show must go on."
-I'm glad you asked... To me the most important qualities of a Galaxy Explorer are loyalty...
-... to camera center no matter whose shot you're blocking...
-God, what an ass.
-Calm down everybody. We're just here to negotiate General Sarris' surrender.
-At ease men.
-We've got to stop!
-We stop we die. Keep holding the thruster down Tommy!
-You don't hold a thruster down! It's for quick boosts
-NO! WE'RE ALMOST THROUGH!
-DON'T BE INSANE, STOP! FULL STOP!
-About this much.
-What's the scale? Is that ten miles? A hundred miles?
-There it is. The Beryllium sphere.
-Go ahead!
-You go first! There's no time!
-What? What?
-Nothing.
-Fred's no good, Jason. You're going to have to kill it
-ALEXANDER??? PLEASE? You're my advisor, advise me!
-... . Well you have to figure out what it wants... What's its motivation?
-It's a DAMN ROCK MONSTER!!! It doesn't HAVE motivation!
-That's your problem. You were never serious about the caraft... "I'm a rock... I just want to be a rock... Still. Peaceful.. Tranquil.." ..."Oh, but what's this? Something's making noise... No, not noise, no... MOVEMENT. VIBRATIONS. Make the vibrations stop, they go straight into me like a knife!... I must CRUSH the thing that makes the vibrations..."
-Hundreds dead, all so you could play at being the Commander.' You've murdered us all you egomaniacal sonofabitch!
-"Purple skinned monstrosity...?"
-I was staying in character. "Egomaniacal sonofabitch?"
-Sense memory. I see you got to win the fight...
-~hex! Alex, are you oKav?
-Yes. Good was done this .....
-Jason, before we entered the black hole, my instruments detected strange energy surge from Sarris' shiD~ similar to...
-He's a twit!
-Not again...
-Settle down, Alex...
-What the hell is going on?!!?
-He wants to THINK!?
-Could you possibly try not to hit every single one!
-What's happened?
-You were holding it upside down weren't you?
-Shut up.
-You know, with the makeup and everything1 I actually thought he was smart for a second.
-You think you could do better "Laredo?"
-And note the sucked in gut.
-This is ludicrous. Why are you listening to this man? Must I remind you that he is wearing a costume, not a uniform?... He's no more equipped to lead us than THIS fellow. No offense.
-You have a better plan, Alex?
-He's a miserable twit!
-Oh Alex, get away from that thing...
-Alex you can't -just leave.
-Oh good, there's nothing to eat.
-Why didn't you stop at the market?
-I still haven't got this bloody thing off.
-You could order something in.
-A boy comes to the door.
-I don't know... It just wasn't like him.
-Oh my god, It's real.
-We heard it the first time!
-May I get the check?
-WE'VE HAVE TO STOP!
-"Go into the cloud! ...
-Alex? Where are you going?
-Look at that... Will you LOOK at that... They look like little children...
-I don't know.
-Those blue things ate everybody here?
-He knocked me out the sonofabitch. Where is he?
-You said "the Commander.
-What?
-Back there. You said "the Commander is down there with a bunch of cannibals."
-No I didn't.
-He always has to make the big entrance.
-He dissed us AGAIN, Brandon!
-Hi Brandon.
-No time for pleasantries, Kyle. We have a level five emergency. The Commander needs us to get him to the core and shut it down before it overloads.
-Oh. Okay.
-You've got the utility systems walkthrough, right?
-I have sectors 1-28. I think Hector has the upper levels.
-Commander, please settle a dispute that my crew and I are having. In "The Quasar Dilemma", the Sentient had taken control of the ship's guidance systems, however-
-Commander, as I was saying... In "The Quasar Dilemma", you used the auxiliary of deck b for Gamma override. But online blueprints indicate deck b is independent of the guidance matrix, so we were wondering where the error lies?
-It's a television show. Okay? That's all. It's just a bunch of fake sets, and wooden props, do you understand?
-Yes but, we were wondering-
-... Yes?
-We accidently traded Vox units when we bumped into each other on Saturday.
-Oh... Oh, I see. Oh.
-What's your name, son?
-Brandon.
-Brandon, I remember you from the convention, right?... You had a lot of little technical observations about the ship, and I spoke sharply to you...
-Yes, I know, and I want you to know I thought about what you said... I know you meant it constructively but...
-It's okay. Listen-
-... But I want you to know that I am not a complete braincase, okay? I understand completely that It's just a TV show. There is no ship, there is no Beryllium Sphere, no diagital conveyor... I mean, obviously it's all just a-
-It's real, Brandon. All of it, It's real.
-I knew it!... I KNEW it!...
-Okay, we got it.
-Okay, now left at the next turn... Past the oxygen units. Make a right there. Then go through the antimatter vent...
-Okay... Okay, now what.
-Commander, do you have a camera? I'd die to see this in person... All they showed on T,V was a machine here, and a wall here... I don't know why they didn't show the whole thing.
-We'd never have the budget for this.
-Yes...?
-Brandon.. Just in case I die, there's something I have to know...
-Yes Commander?
-What does the Omega 13 do?
-Well, that's the big question, isn't it?
-What do you mean?
-It's been the subject of an extremely heated debate on the internet for years. Many believe that is a matter collapser, a bomb capable of destroying all matter in the universe in a chain reaction lasting 13 seconds.
-But you don't?
-No, I am of the firm belief that in reality it is not a matter killer, but a matter REARRANGER, converting all molecules to the exact state they existed thirteen seconds previous to activation thus effecting a thirteen second time jump to the past.
-How did you come to that conclusion?
-BRANDON! TIME TO GO!
-Commander, you and Lt. Madison will have to go through the crushers one at a time in three second intervals. Tell me when the first crusher hits the bottom...
-Okay, now. But-
-No, wait, are you-
-Lt. Madison, GO.
-Shit! Go!
-Go. They're off again.
-Up.
-What? Up?
-I'm at the control oaneh. What do I do?
-Raise the glass and push the blue button.
-That's It?
-Structural damage at 68 percent.
-I just can't believe it. Any of it! Look at this room!.. They designed it based on the Tuaran Pleasure ship from "historical document" thirty seven. Oh and wait, wait, listen to this! Computer?
-Yes?
-What's the weather like outside?
-There is no weather in space.
-The ship is sustaining structural damage.
-The enemy is matching velocity.
-Computer, what about our engines? Why don't we have power?
-The Beryllium Sphere has fractured under stress.
-Negative. The Beryllium sphere will have to be replaced.
-Negative, no reserve Beryllium sphere exists onboard.
-Systems register functional.
-Systems register functional.
-U.... What do you think?
-That possibly... The valence bonds have shifted bi-laterally?
-... What does that mean?
-What does that mean?!!! Yes, I see! Yes... It means that perhaps... the... bonding molecules have become covalent?!...
-Covalent... Right. So...
-So our solution is to introduce a bonding substrate! - A two molecule compound sharing a free electron - and bombard the ions with their reflective isotopes!
-Hey Commander. Listen, we found some Beryllium on a nearby planet. We might be able to get there if we re-configure the solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion. What do you think?
-A hologram...
-Never mind, Fred....
-The digital conveyer? You mean I'm going to get diced into cubes and sorted up there in a thousand pieces?
-Right.
-No, I'll kill you. .
-Fred, I worked summer stock with Hopkins. Regional theater with Hoffman. But I swear to God I have never met an actor who could hit his mark, or nail his lines with the professional consistency of a Freddy Kwan. You're Mr. Dependable... You can do this.
-As good as Hopkins?
-How do you remember this stuff?
-You Okay, Alex?
-...The digital conveyor.
-We've got to get that valve turned off. Their oxygen Is almost gone...
-Listen, I'll go in, create a distraction. have this... may be able to hold them back long enough for the aliens to escape.
-It's suicide.
-I'm just a glorified extra, Fred. I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm going to die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
-Listen, I was wondering, would you guys mind if I sit in today? See if anybody's interested in an autograph? Never know.
-"Crewman #6"... Call me Guy.
-THAT'S why you built this ship?
-The Omega 13... Why does that sound so familiar?...
-Guy, you HAVE a last name. We just don't KNOW it.
-Where are the miners?
-Oh, they're so cute.
-I am SO SICK of being right.
-How the hell is Fred supposed to project a hologram?
-...Okay
-They're still behind us...
-Guy, you're not going to get killed on the planet, okay?
-Oh, I'm not? I'm not? Then what's my last name?
-Your last name.
-Yeah, what is it?
-It's... I don't know.
-We're screwed... We're so screwed...
-That's it, that's what's going to kill me.
-It doesn't have to be a hologram... Just a diversion.
-Jason, are we doing Episode 31 or not?
-It's a rough plan, Guy! What does it matter if we're doing episode 31 or not?!
-I know... You contruct a weapon. Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?...
-We~re oetting hammered, Jason. Return fIre?
-Hi everybody.
-Hey. Thanks for one nice intro... uh.
-More to the left... Stay parallel...
-"Assault on Voltareck III." Episode... 31 I think.
-We're doing episode 31?
-They're gone.
-You have no idea what a perimeter is, do you?
-Not a clue. You?
-We're alive!
-~e're alive!
-A few fans built a little set in their garage. . I come in for an hour at most. It's a nothing.
-How much of a nothing? Not enough to split five ways kind of a nothing?
-What?
-This isn't mine. Wait, where is that kid?...
-It's Jason...
-One minute I'm - Hey, I'm dressing.'
-Let me try. Computer? Computer?...
-Only answers to me.
-But I'm the Commander!
-On the show I talk to the computer and repeat what it says. So that's what they built.
-Wait. When are you going to tell them?
-Tell them? About...
-Who we are. Don't you think they're going to be PISSED?
-Are you kidding? I'm not going to tell them.
-Well you have to tell them. What if something happens? We're actors, not astronauts... We can't do this stuff!
-It's not the STUFF. I mean, anybody can learn the STUFF... The important thing is COMMITMNT. 99% of anything is just committing to it.
-Hey... Hey where are you going?
-We have no right to do this. They deserve to know.
-We're leaving, Jason. We're leaving NOW.
-There's nobody here. Jason...
-All right, now nobody panic, I've dealt with this guy before and believe me, he's as stupid as he is ugly.
-Jason..
-We're going to fire everything we've got at him, all right?
-JASON...
-I made the CUT THE LINE gesture. You nodded okay.'
-I thought It was the "We're dead" gesture! I was agreeing! Like I know where the hold button is???
-Maybe we can lose them in that cloud.
-Are they behind us?
-Can it be repaired?
-Do we have a replacement Beryllium sphere onboard?
-Self control? That's funny coming from the guy that slept with every Moon Princess and Terrakian slave girl on the show!...
-Did it ever occur to you that if you had been a little more supportive you could have held on to me?
-You're playing your good side.
-All right... here's the plan: First, Fred, we need a diversion to clear those things out of the compound, then Gwen, Alex, Fred and I go down to get the sphere. Any of those things come back, give a signal. Guy, you set up a perimeter.
-How does the rolling help, actually?
-Clenched jaw...
-Jason.. Can you hear me?
-Thank God. Are you okay?
-Yeah. But I've got Gorignak staring me in the face. I think I can take it though...
-What? What did he say?
-Wait, the pig lizard is gone. Why are they still chanting for the pig lizard?
-Jason?... I don't think the pig lizard was Gorignak...
-So... We get to shut down the neutron reactor?
-Right.
-Uh... I hate to break it to you Jason, but I don't know how to shut down a neutron reactor, and unless you took a Learning Annex course I don't know about, I'm pretty sure you don't know how to shut down a neutron reactor either.
-There's no hatch. There's no hatch!
-What IS that thing? It serves no useful purpose to have a bunch of CHOPPY CRUSHY things in the middle of a CATWALK!?.'
-Gwen...
-We shouldn't have to DO this! It makes NO LOGICAL SENSE! Why is it HERE?
-Because it was on the show!
-He's accelerating to Mark 6.
-never doubted you for a second.
-Where the hell is he? An hour and a half late. An hour and a half!
-You're kidding. When for?
-Unbelievable.
-You gotta admit, they do love him.
-That's it, It's go time.
-You should have let me hit him.
-You know, that's really getting annoying.
-I have ONE job on this lousy ship. It's stupid, but I'm going to DO it. GOT IT?
-Oh my god! Tommy! Stop the pod! Stop the pod!
-We got the Sphere but the Commander's down there with a bunch of cannibals! Teb, reset the pod, we're going back.
-That thing's not going to get us down there fast enough. Face it, he's dead.
-I heard it too.
-JASON You think you could-get any closer to those mines?
-Closer? I can try.
-Tommy, look! Those lights...
-First, I require the Omega 13... Second-
-Yes... Hi Sarris... How are you doing?
-Right. Well... Listen, I'm I'm sorry about that whole... thing.. before. It was kind of a misunderstanding. I'm sure we can work this out like reasonable people... How's the uh... ... that going to heal up? God, I hope so, I feel just awful about that.
-Deliver the device now or I will destroy your ship.
-Listen, I'd like to, but frankly.. I'm not even sure where it is, or even...
-You have ten seconds.
-Yes.
-Then tell me one thing... What does it do, the device? The Omega 13.
-Is it a bomb? A booby trap? Tell me!
-Stop, please! I don't know!
-Prepare a tear harness for the female...
-No! I swear I don't know! Please!
-Wait. What did you say?
-Explain -
-My name is Jason Nesmith. I'm an actor. We're all actors.
-Our dimwitted friends don't understand the concept of acting. They have no theater, no imagination these scientists.
-We pretend...
-Simpler.
-We.. We lie.
-Accelerate to Mark 4, Tommy.
-Commander, I must speak to you. It is a matter of supreme importance... We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula, and we require your help. I beseech you to come with us, back to our ship. A great many lives hang in the balance...
-Right, If this is about the thing tomorrow you can hammer out the details with my agent, but make sure I have a limo from my house, they jammed me into a Toyota the last time I did one of these
-I... certainly, but-
-Sir, I understand this is a terrible breach of protocol, but please, I beg you to hear our plea. We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula. Our people are being systematically hunted and slaughtered by Roth'h'ar Sarris of Fatu-Krey. Sarris wants the Omega 13. We are to meet in negotiation. However our past efforts in this regard have been nothing short of disastrous. The
-Commander... Welcome to the Protector II. Would you like to don your uniform?
-Mind If we skip that? I have to get back pretty quick for this thing in Van Nuys.
-Commander?... Where are you... going?
-Home.
-You... You mean Earth?
-But Commander... The negotiation... You... You... You fired on him.
-Right. Long live... What's your planet?
-Theramin.
-Long live Theramini. Take a left here?
-But what if Sarris survives?
-Oh, I don't think so. I gave him both barrels.
-He has a very powerful ship. Perhaps you would like to wait to see the results of-
-An interstellar vox.
-How can we thank you, Commander. You- You have saved our people.
-Weapons storage...
-It's perfectly safe. I promise.
-To our brave guests. Few in this universe have the opportunity to meet their heroes. We are blessed to count ourselves among them.
-Mathesar?. .. Has Sarris seen the.. historical records?
-NO, Thank God he has not.
-Then how did he find out about the device?
-Our former Commander was not... Strong.
-Former Commander?
-Commander...
-Mathesar? What is that?
-A thousand apologies. We have failed you.
-You what?.. What are you talking about?
-"Deception..." "Lies."
-Well... Sort of...
-I'm not a Commander, there is no National Space Exploration Administration. There is no snip.
-But there it is!...
-A model, only as big as this.
-But... Inside, I have seen-
-Sections of rooms made of plywood. Our Beryllium Sphere was painted wire and plaster. The digital conveyor was Christmas lights... Decorations. It's all a fake. I'm not him... I'm a nothing. A nobody.
-But...Why?
-The ship is a model... As big as this!... A very clever deception indeed! He oan't oontaln hIs lauchter. A belle-----TOMMY Set a course for home, lommander?
-You said we do appearances together, or not at all.'
-... to make sure craft service keeps those little butter cookies, and plenty of them-
-That's right... Just keep shaking it out... Here, have some gum, It helps.
-Wh... Where are we?
-What's going on?
-Excuse me?
-Well, it's... This was a device we... discovered on an alien planet. We don't know what it does either.
-Where?
-Faster Tommy. Get us out of here!
-Could be this.
-Do your best, Tommy...
-All right, Gwen, Alex, Fred, follow me. Guy, set up the perimeter. Tommy, you keep a lookout, make a signal if they come back.
-What kind of signal?
-Anything.
-Okay, I'll do this... "Caw Caw!"
-Oh, right, sorry.
-Sorry Guys... It just went off.
-Okay... On what?
-How about the pig-lizard?
-Go for the eyes. Like in episode 22 with-
-It doesn't have eyes.
-The throat, the mouth... Its vulnerable spots.
-NO NO NO.
-All right guys... Uh... Gwen and I are going to have to get to the core and shut it down manually. Fred, you and Guy need to get that air valve back on. Alex, see if you can get the prison doors open downstairs in case Fred and Guy can't get the oxygen back in time.
-Jason? What about me? What do I do?
-Pedal to the metal Tommy...
-Let's do it, Tommy.
-Commander?... Call me Laredo?
-Hold course, Laredo!
-Continue forward, sir?
-Lieutenant Lathe, I confess I am beginning to feel a bit foolish myself. Chasing across the universe to obtain what is, I am now certain, a bauble of fiction. Tell me how best to obliterate this vessel? I would like nothing to remain.
-Find them.
-But sir, my MEN. The core implosion is not reversible...
-enerao, I've host them. The maanetlsm o: the field Is disrupting our onstru- ~ait. There they are
-WHAT? WH
-Because they're coming right at us.
-Some say that Hessians are invincible.
-Well, now there's something worth dying for. What do you think?
-Hmmm... she's beneath me, I'm afraid.
-Unfortunately, I'll never get the chance. I'm leaving in an hour for Congress to scream like a violated virgin about my promotion. Wasting my time, naturally... Look at her teasing those bumpkins.
-I'm accused of using some government wagons to ship personal property.
-We've got to attack the British! Now! Have they put you in charge yet? Do we have an army yet? What is happening?
-I capture Quebec leading an Army by river fordings through Maine... If we don't do it, the British will come down Champlain, take back Ticonderoga and attack us in the spring.
-You'd have to travel hundreds of miles through the wilderness.
-Over three hundred miles.
-You seem pleased by the prospect.
-What's your frank estimation of the British?
-Well, you fought with them against the French and Iroquois, how good were they then?
-They died well. Otherwise, they didn't do much right. But if we have war, the British will surely send their best troops: right now they have no other enemies.
-And a French alliance?
-Ben Franklin's going to Paris, but I think the French will be long on talk and short on guns. Our troops are mobs, they won't take orders, have no equipment... could they beat the British?
-Arnold!
-Damn-it! You've given us a whole new season, Benedict! And Congress thinks that the British are going to ride right over us come spring. Now half their army is back in Canada.
-Congress has picked up it's skirts and is racing for Baltimore. They're not waiting for spring! Of course, they still had time to deny my promotion. Even John Adams voted against it...
-Why in hell would John do that? Why in hell would any of them do that? After all you've done, it's unbelievable!
-Oh, they have reasons... there's a lot of confusion these days.
-They don't trust me, that's the truth isn't it? Sam Adams never did.
-We're in bad shape, Benedict, moral is low. Before I can do anything, I need Lee and his seven thousand troops. I've ordered him to join us three times. In my last letter I all but begged him to come here. The man is insubordinate.
-Go on... I want to hear everything.
-Congress is talking -- openly -- about replacing you with Lee.
-Is that a fact.
-What do you think, George, shall I resign? It's what they want.
-The army needs you.
-The army can survive without me.
-Then, I need you. We all do. Without your victory the men would have no hope at all.
-Someday, George, you may need to act for the good of the people no matter what Congress thinks that is. It may come down to us, or them someday. You or them. Cicero was right: was is 'a time when the laws are silent'.
-I hope I never have to believe that.
-After visiting Congress I know what it's like being violated by come disproportionate asses! Ah, if she only knew that the most important men in the country -- possibly the world -- are sitting at this table...
-We're so damned important! Look at us -- Nathanael, you were a horse- shoer, Benedict, before this?
-Well, George, who were you?
-Our plan is to hit them as they leave.
-While they're strung out?
-They're ready. Believe me, the ones that stayed on here at Valley Forge are ready for anything. Of course, we get nothing from Congress. They need boots, coats... we desperately need food.
-There was this anonymous pamphlet circulated at Congress which says I am personally responsible for all our hardships. And... that I have encouraged the people of America to make me into a God! Benedict, it says that I have gone mad!
-That can't be.
-There's this whispering campaign against me ever since Gates won at Saratoga.
-Gates? He used my battle plan and I humbly submit that without me he'd still be back at Saratoga waiting for the British to attack. George, why haven't you moved into the Potts' house back at the creek? Much more befitting of a Commander and Chief than your field tent. And... you could entertain. I think you need to entertain more. Seriously! Get a
-As soon as the men have good shelters I'll move. Perhaps Martha will join me this winter.
-Have you heard? The British are negotiating to make a trade for General Lee.
-I'm sure his dogs will be overjoyed.
-That scum Joseph Reed... they're calling him the 'King of Pennsylvania'. The man's a budding Cromwell. He condemns rich Tories to death and then 'appropriates' their property for himself. Naturally, the pig hates me for every Tory I've saved.
-They love Reed and his inquisition! I think they hope to share in his disgusting profits! It's becoming the American way!
-These men were taken from their homes at night, tried by Reed's courts -- which Congress recognizes -- and, well, you can see.
-Colonel, sir, Mrs. Washington inquires if you are going to join her for dinner?
-You, you just need a new flint, General.
-You are never, never to touch my guns! Do you understand!?
-Yes, General. But if you have to shoot somebody, you can't.
-None of the servants is to touch a gun! You know that!
-Misunderstood what!?
-A lot of years have gone by.
-What? What are you talking about?
-Me? You apologizing to me?
-Wil...
-Yes, general?
-You've served me loyally, year after year, without complaining. I've thought hard about you this past winter. I want to free you, Wil. I want to give you your freedom, after this battle is fought.
-Yes, general.
-Wil, I'm giving you your freedom. Do you understand?
-No. I guess.
-Wil, I want to remind you of a conversation we started just before Monmouth...
-Well, what have you thought?
-No uniforms. No coats, even? In this weather?
-No, my lord.
-What sort of boots would you say he's wearing? I should say, no sort of boots at all. Aren't those rags wrapped around his feet? Is that what he marched here in?
-Yes, my lord.
-And, is that a pitchfork beside him?
-Negroes? Washington has black men in his army? Are they good fighters? What's that red ribbon on his arm, Colonel?
-Because they have hardly any uniforms, they designate officers with colored ribbons. My lord.
-By red, what rank would you say this black, officer, soldier is, Colonel?
-General Lee, welcome back. I'm happy you've decided to join us.
-I am to take command of Major General Lafayette's division and lead the attack.
-What the goddamned hell do you think you are doing!?
-The British! These men cannot stand against them!
-Who is that!?
-That's Greene. He's supporting our reconsolidation.
-Captain Alexander Hamilton, sir!
-Hamilton, you're going to have to cover our asses as we cross.
-We've got powder but no ball!
-How old are you, Captain?
-I'll be twenty next year, sir.
-I'll expect you for dinner this evening, Captain Hamilton. For Christ's sake, have a bath.
-Excuse me, General, but may I ask how do you feel?
-No one wants to turn the table on the enemy more than I. But if victory is remote and there's any hope for a negotiated peace, we must keep this army intact.
-I'm so inclined.
-General Washington, is there actually going to be a compromise, I mean, a 'deal' with England?
-Captain, I want you to know that I respect your openness. It would make me happy if you'd join our table for dinner from now on.
-With pleasure... and an honor. Did you hear about Nathan Hale?
-That young school teacher... I heard the British hung him as a spy.
-They're among the best divisions the British have. No conscripts, no impressed recruits, just professional killers.
-I was a clerk's apprentice on Saint Croix. But, then I went to King's College.
-Are you going to keep him, sir?
-It's impossible to stop these men deserting in winter, you might as well stop geese from migrating.
-What are we going to do?
-General Greene is here. There are two other divisions here.
-Yessir.
-Sir, I think no such thing.
-Don't lie to me, Hamilton! If I had not court-martialed Arnold...
-Sir, Arnold is a traitor.
-I must tell you sir you treat me with disrespect!
-What is this?
-This is a declaration of insurrection! Who wrote this!?
-George, remember that night when we were drinking with Arnold?
-To hell with Arnold...
-He warned you some day you might have to act for the good of the people -- even if it was against Congress. George, the time has come for you to declare yourself king of America. Listen to me, the whole army would rise up as one and place you on a throne! George, you must declare yourself with us or against us.
-What's your advice, Alexander?
-I want to address the officers, all the officers. Next Friday. Can we arrange it at the mess?
-Yes, I believe so.
-Have you decided if you are going to join the Virginia Delegation to the Constitutional Convention?
-I'm not sure.
-George, you're the only man the people trust... trust with power. They know you won't betray them.
-That's why the people trust you George. Without someone at the convention, who has the people behind him, everything will fail. Will you do it?
-Horatio! Horatio Gates, of course you know John Adams of the Massachusetts Delegation.
-Good day, Mister Adams... George, what's the word from Boston?
-The last I heard, a bunch of drunken militia have dug in on Breed's hill. With one stroke the British could cut them off and apparently their leaders are too dumb to see it.
-Who's in command out there?
-Who the hell knows? Everyone's giving orders. It's all very democratic.
-Well, John Adams, your cousin has a marvelous gift.
-With your support, Horatio. As one of our own who has seen combat with the British, your opinion counts.
-You won't be needing his largess, Rhode Island is already committed to your appointment.
-Colonel Charles Lee... Hounds and all. Quite the character. He's got a tremendous reputation.
-If he supports the British why is it that every time he gets near them he kills so many of them? Unlike General Lee... who you and Congress backed for second in command and who is a goddamned incompetent!
-Lafayette is a child!
-George, I'm sorry. We all know the army will acquit Arnold...
-Of course the army will acquit him, that's not the point... Arnold is a man and will understand. What I need to understand is, John, Sam... what is happening here? Who are those people in there? The fat ones in silk?
-They are... friends of Congress.
-Washington is perfect. He's a Southerner, he's a war hero and he's rich!
-He's from Virginia -- there is no more classist, elitist... English place on earth than Virginia. And, what in hell has he done for our cause? Washington has been preaching compromise, compromise, compromise! Hancock acts, he led the Boston Tea party! That's why New England loves him.
-Let's not over do it...
-I tell you every damned place I go the man is adored! "General Washington! Champion of Trenton! Savior of the Republic!" And you should hear the way people are deprecating Congress!
-Makes you gag.
-Gag on your own invention, then.
-Oh, come now...
-You think that?
-No one wants another failure right now, God knows. But people like Arnold and, God knows, I'm having my fears about General Washington.
-Finally!? It's people like these who, as soon as they get a little power, want more and more. More ale, here!
-Partially...
-I doubt Arnold will be afraid.
-Did God ever make such a pitiful army?
-No officer is going to get these men to fight! They had the life crushed out of them on Long Island. At the most, perhaps we could make a feint at an outpost, then retire to protect Congress.
-I hear General Lee is holding seven thousand fresh infantry back in New York -- why won't he come on!?
-General Lee is detained captain...
-Detained by what?
-The British army, sir!
-Congress is bitterly opposed to allowing Negroes in the army!
-We already have black soldiers in our army...
-Unofficially, General Greene.
-Any word from Canada?
-Spies from Quebec confirm that the British are sending an entire fleet down Lake Champlain...
-My God... They mean to finish us. What about Arnold? He's up there.
-If we have any hope for a compromise or truce with England now, we have to hold on here: our men must believe they can win -- the British must believe that somehow, in some mad, impossible way we might actually be able to hurt them.
-Colonel Reed...
-That damned Arnold is here, isn't he? Did you know he lost all his ships? Outrageous and completely unacceptable.
-Joseph, the British spent thousands of pounds and precious months putting together a fleet that Arnold stopped by sacrificing a heap of old barges. In my opinion he saved my army.
-A grand scheme?
-A ground swell-Christian movement, George, you see?
-No. As a matter of fact I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about.
-What do you mean you're not a Christian? Of course you're a Christian, we're all Christians...
-I mean, I'm a Deist. A belief I share with the likes of Tom Jefferson and Ben Franklin. Surely you knew that.
-But the Hessians are there! No one can beat them! That's why Cornwallis stationed them there! They have the post of honor! They are invincible!
-They are also very religious. So, we will attack them three days from now, on Christmas. One force under me, and another to the south under Colonel Cadwalader...
-George, I'm afraid if you go through with this madness I must tender my resignation as your aide. I see where we're headed, you're putting your trust in the likes of Hamilton and Arnold...
-How many generals do we have like Arnold? He's got guts -- he's vain, and he fights!
-And, Hamilton? Greene?
-They help me understand why we fight.
-Understand? You need to be listening to people like John Adams, and to keep the best interest of the country first in your mind!
-Gentlemen, let me get to the point, I can't see the wisdom of pursuing this old court-martial against General Arnold.
-The man is a traitor!
-Arnold is indispensable, do you understand? I need Arnold to help me win this war!
-Well, I shall deny him to you! He is evil on earth!
-However, through my relations with members of his majesty's court, I am a representative of the French government whose deepest desire is to be one people, united with our American brothers in arms to defeat the rapacious armies of King George of England. Vive la France! Vive l'Amerique!
-We have more officers created by Congress than we know what to do with.
-Sir, please accept my commission from Congress... and... You must see this portrait of my beautiful wife, Adrienne, we had the most perfect little baby girl just before I left. Her name is Henriette...
-Gentlemen, my I introduce a French gentleman, recently appointed major general by Congress... Marie Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. General Lafayette has brought us the greetings and goodwill of his countrymen, and... how many cases of muskets, Mon petite Marquis?
-'Continentals', Congress' paper money. It was worthless to start with, but as you see, counter feiters have made them even less than worthless. Can you tell which one is fake?
-I... they look both the same.
-No, please; an advance on your salary.
-Mon General, I have come here to learn and to give, not to take. I am serving without salary.
-You must be very rich.
-I am. Then, I understand you too serve without salary. You know, since your charming little victories at Trenton and Princeton, the French court is softening. I expect any time now a ship load of supplies...
-'Charming little victories?' Please don't expect much more of us, Monsieur.
-I only meant...
-These supplies...?
-Muskets and uniforms and Bayonets.
-And how rusty are these muskets?
-Well, we will accept these charming little gifts. When we see them. Meanwhile, please, take your pick of a horse.
-I rode here, on my horse.
-Because, if the British got off their asses and came up here, now, we would be smashed. And the revolution would be finished. Tell King Louis, it's that bad.
-Like flowers after the snow melts.
-What is it, Marquis?
-My God! Who ordered this retreat?!
-General Lee, sir!
-I feel the same, sir.
-It's another demonstration against the king. This is the wildest yet.
-My God, these people mean to go to war! They really mean it.
-Surely you knew this was coming.
-Our beloved father, the King, also refuses to bend.
-But to go to war over trade, over money? Surely there's still time for a compromise.
-Of course, if it were that simple. These people? They're after something else...
-My God, what?
-Well, a very real expectation is the British will hang you! They'll burn Mount Vernon and they'll hang you! Our marriage is a business just as surely as...
-I'm very aware of that.
-I can not allow the fortune in slaves my first husband created and what our partnership has elevated, to be destroyed...
-Don't be ridiculous, of course that won't happen.
-The day Tom Jefferson frees a slave I'll ride naked through the streets of Williamsburg on a mule. Tom Jefferson is one of those people who talks big and acts small. The only man out there who really does what he says is Sam Adams and everyone thinks he's crazy. Believe me, this 'disturbance' isn't going to last long. You have to understand, congress
-And, what 'prize' do you see? What could we possible gain?
-But, as usual, it will not go well for... them. Martha, you must trust me.
-"Liberty, Virtue, Country"... That's from Cato... you know, that play about the noble Romans? As I was riding up to Philadelphia, I found myself thinking about the old days...
-When you lived with the Fairfaxes?
-When I was a young man we used to recite Cato... We would come together recite it like they were words from heaven. Devotion to country, duty, purity of heart... Purity of heart. I was drunk on something then...
-That's right...
-Did you know that Jefferson has proposed a law in Virginia aiming at an absolute separation of state from the church?
-I think I heard that.
-It's an anti-Christian dogma! I cannot believe you are so calm about it!
-What else? From Virginia?
-Martha... what?
-Virginia is outraged with your order allowing Negroes to fight in the army. There's a deep feeling of hurt and betrayal. They wanted you commander because they expected you would look out for our interests.
-To win this war I need an army.
-Oh, indeed? You know very well people are frightened of arming the Negroes! They beg you to consider the future. What good is a revolution if it overturns those things we cherish!?
-What's the point of a revolution if it doesn't?
-Some things must never change.
-Is that why you come in here tossing pennies to my starving men? It's damned condescending!
-Don't condescend to me! We have both of us prospered from the arrangements of our kind...
-Well, we must keep in mind the Dower Laws. One third of everything we have is mine and since our Negroes have been interbreeding, it would be legally impossible to distinguish them.
-Martha! For God's sake!
-Leave me, now sir, I am tired.
-Not today.
-I want you to see our hospital.
-We can't take them. Are you all right?
-We're leaving them?
-They're finished, they can't help us anymore! They've done their duty, General Greene, now you do yours!
-Colonel Washington? Colonel Nathanael Greene, Rhode Island Militia.
-Yes, yes, happy to meet you.
-I... I'm possessed of the idea of a command in your army, sir.
-It isn't my army yet, Colonel Greene. Looks like you've seen some action -- did you hurt your leg, in a fight?
-But, you do come from a military family?
-A horseshoer?
-The only way to get discipline into these men is to beat it into them! Fifty lashes each!
-Sir, Congress hasn't issued their pay for two months, many have not eaten properly for at least that long. You're being a little hard on them, don't you think?
-Nathanael, someone bred to station, bred to being a gentleman -- unlike these men -- his sense of duty naturally prevails over the baser needs.
-I certainly didn't mean you. Of course you are a gentleman, an officer and a gentleman.
-General Greene?
-I'm with Captain Hamilton.
-They're just disgusting, jealous, bottom-feeding swine. It's their nature.
-Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I don't understand your history at all. I mean, why would you want to win the war? You're not after glory, like Benedict... You're a slave owner, and yet you invite blacks to fight in your army.
-You don't believe I can fight from a sense of duty and patriotism?
-No. We're all of us after something. It's easy for me to fight for the common man. My father could only dream that I would be... a general someday? And what of my daughter or son? I know what I'm after. But now, with all this talk about compromise? It means the rich will just be more wealthy and the common man has no
-I will not betray you, Nathanael.
-At one time I could have chosen not to be.
-What the hell are we doing?
-Nathanael, I'm sending you to Virginia to head the southern army, to harass Cornwallis. Marquis, you must go with him.
-Sir, I have to act on instructions from you ordering thirty copies of your own dress uniform...
-They're for my bodyguard. I have an absolute conviction that Arnold is planning to have me assassinated! It will be harder if I am surrounded by a body of men who look like me, don't you think?
-Well, this must be about something!
-If the constitution is ratified... we'll have a country. They'll want to elect you president of the convention, which means president of the country.
-Well, the widow Curtis will bring you riches, position, land, even half-grown children. You won't have to do anything at all! You shan't have to do another thing to prove yourself.
-You know very well who it is that I love.
-George, you know I only love you, but...
-But not more than your comfort.
-And what is this, then? Been off to fight the French because you are a patriot? Or is this you, gaining your long sought after rise in society by becoming victorious in war!?
-That's a lie!
-Is it? William says now you have requested a British Commission, why not colonial? I'll clear it up for you, sir, because as a British officer you can lord over colonial yokels -- more than that, it will even get you into polite society! Your dream come true, George, the only dream that really matters to you.
-Perhaps you've been counting my acres, Mrs. Fairfax, and discovered exactly how poor I really am.
-Now that is a lie! See how much you want to create a scandal in exchange for a glowing reputation and polite society laid at your feet! When you break off your engagement to Martha Curtis, I'll divorce William! Do you hear? You get what you want from this world, then throw it all away on love!
-You remember, George, when we were 'studying' the great philosophers?
-I remember a pair of young philosophers once, who laughed at the world.
-Well, I remember a philosopher who said something that I used to think was just another of those stupid class denouncements... but which I now see means us all.
-Really? Which precious homily was it?
-So, you are William's wild young neighbor? Or should I say, 'brother'; William claims you as a member of his family. I have heard so many unflattering tales about you, and I understand, that except for you, this 'family' is quite cultivated.
-George, I'm sorry.
-Oh, but you must not mind my talking about you! In fact, William says my main job here at Belvoir is to civilize you; to make an honest English gentleman out of you.
-We can grow three primary crops in a season and, if we have some luck, we get a forth. The temperature is generally mild.
-Except for that, quite like home; England, that is.
-Think what the play means, William. Perhaps these words have a place in the real world.
-Where... do those men come from, George?
-Africa, of course.
-Africa? That's so far? How do they get here?
-Slavers capture them and bring them here.
-Capture them? Well, I've never seen anything like it, so... of course I'm curious.
-The word 'minuet' finds its source in minitus, which is Latin meaning 'small' or 'orderly'.
-Or, 'civilized'.
-Cranes? Who needs to walk like a crane?
-What do you really think of the minuet, anyway?
-Then why are you teaching me...?
-I always though London was the place to be: capital of the world, the most spectacular city on earth.
-The place to want to be is America. Every English child dreams of it. I dreamt it.
-Do you? When I saw those men yesterday in the field... and the women and children in those hovels? I'm not so sure if America is as far from England as I'd hoped.
-It's the freest land on earth.
-Is it? Well, I'm scared of what we've become in our freedom.
-And to think I am teaching you to become one of them...
-I don't laugh at you, George. I like you. I like you because you will never, ever make it as an aristocrat... and that's because you're completely incompetent at hiding your feelings.
-What are you doing?
-Let's get you darker!
-You're out of your mind!
-Why? Juba was an African and you want to look the part -- hold still.
-They can use their imaginations.
-I've been surprised in an unguarded hour, But must not now go back; the love that lay, Half smothered in my breast, has broke through all, Its weak restraints, and burns in its full lustre. I cannot, if I would, conceal it from thee.
-I'm lost in ecstasy! And dost thou love, Thou charming maid?
-Remember, George, "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong."
-That's good... who?
-You are a slave owner! You have been illegally surveying lands beyond the Ohio Valley! That land belongs to the natives!
-All people have rights!
-Just because they are born?
-Yes!
-Who says so?
-I say!
-I see...
-And 'others', say... have you even read Locke, Vattel, Voltaire, Diderot...
-You hear that?
-That? I hear a mob: unemployed, drunkards, vagabonds... the world's dregs.
-Is that your test of patriotism, George; if a man will die for you?
-The land here is best for grain and corn.
-My daughter, I ask only...
-For God sake, get that horrid stuff off your face. You look like a damned slave! It's damned humiliating.
-Juba was a Numidian.
-William, we've been studying hard, I really know my stuff.
-What is this?
-An Oldsmobile Silhouette.
-I reserved a Cadillac.
-Yeah, well, this one's the Cadillac of minivans.
-You're kidding me, right?
-Shit, now someone's gotta climb down there and get him.
-You didn't have to shoot him, Bo. We coulda just beat him up some.
-Cat, that's the lamest idea I've ever heard.
-And I mean high up in it. That's why Harry's gonna make Mr. Lovejoy with me, not Chili Palmer.
-Mr. Lovejoy? That's cute, Bo.
-Doesn't matter what it's called, Harry's got Martin Weir and it's gonna be big.
-He knew it was a set up. He was ready for it.
-So where's the money?
-I guess still in the locker.
-You guess? You mean you don't know?
-You see the paper?
-I seen it, but I don't believe it. Says Harry shot Ronnie five times. Four to the chest and one through his foot.
-His foot. Jeez, poor Ronnie...
-Listen, tonight, later on, I got one for you doesn't involve any heavy work. I want you to go have a look around Chili Palmer's hotel room.
-I can't. I got to take Farrah to Satan's place down in Costa Mesa.
-Who?
-Her mother. Not that it matters because I don't work for you no more. I quit. I just wanted to come by, tell you to your face so there's no misunderstanding.
-Whoa... This is the man used to jump offa high buildings?
-Into air bags. There's no cushion under what you're doing. I'm out of it, Cat. I'm done.
-Bear. The Colombians are in L.A. Seems they all upset about their money. That ain't enough, as a bonus, it turns out the yoyo was Escobar's nephew.
-He's gonna plea-deal his way out. Give up this ace stunt man now one of the West Coast dope kings, if they go easy on the Cat.
-I heard in the Federal joints they let you spend an extra five minutes at the glass with your Daddy on Father's Day.
-After this one, I'm out, Cat, you understand? This is the last time we talk to each other.
-Remember Harry's story about the dry cleaner Palmer was after? Guy who stole the three hundred grand from the airline?
-What about him?
-I was thinking tonight you could go have a look around Palmer's hotel room while I go check out Karen Flores' place. See if he hasn't stashed it somewhere.
-And if we don't happen to find it under Palmer's mattress or inside Karen Flores' undie drawer? What then?
-You get the money?
-No. What's this?
-Trade for what?
-You get life for kidnapping.
-Calm down, Bear...
-Hell, why not just shoot her? Why not shoot everybody. Fuckin' shoot me. Shoot the fuckin' president?
-And that's for the airport.
-Hey, he should have a weapon, a knife or something.
-You keep hittin' him like that, he ain't gonna look like he broke in anymore, he gonna look like someone beat him up and then shot him.
-I don't know how I could've missed you with that shirt on. It's the same as the other one you had only the hibiscus are a different color. Right?
-So you didn't have the key with you.
-You think I'd be standing here? You set somebody up and you want it to work, it has to be a surprise. Can you remember that?
-What, did you see it work in some movie you got beat up in?
-I have to ask you for that key.
-What, the setup didn't work so you want the key back?
-Catlett says if you don't open the locker the deal's off.
-Look, there's no fuckin' way I'm gonna give you the key, outside of you point a gun at my head. Then we might have something to talk about. Now step away from the car.
-What're you hanging around with a guy like that for? You were in the movies, right? A stuntman? What's he ever done he can talk about? You feel okay?
-Not too bad.
-I think I pulled my quadriceps.
-So... how many movies you been in?
-About sixty.
-Where is my nephew?
-Your who?
-He's my sister's kid. No papa. Not too bright. Personally, I think he's a retard. I only gave him the job as a favor for my sister, you understand?
-Sure. Family. I know how that goes.
-He comes up here with our product. He suppose to come home with five hundred thousand dollars. He never shows up. Meanwhile, my sister's going crazy calling me all the time worried about him. Me, I just wanna know what happened to my focking money.
-Well, I don't know. I gave the man his money, sent him on his way.
-You gave him the money?
-I gave him a key to a locker that had the money in it.
-Now why would you do that? Put the money in a locker?
-Because there were a zillion DEA guys hanging around the terminal.
-Maybe your nephew panicked, took off.
-Where's your partner, the jumpy one? Why isn't he here?
-He's around someplace.
-You know, you speak very good English, Mr. Escobar.
-What's this movie you're doing first?
-But first I want to know who I'm talking to. Am I talking to you, or am I talking to him?
-You can talk to me.
-You understand I knew Harry was lying, saying this wasn't any good, but holding on to it, man, like you have to break his fingers to get it from him.
-I'm just explaining to you what I'm doing here. Case you think I come to rob the place, rip off any of this dusty old shit the man has.
-Harry called you his associate, but what does that mean? I never heard your name or read it in Variety or The Reporter or anyplace.
-It's what he said, I'm his associate.
-You must bring something heavy to the deal.
-Says here you're getting Martin Weir for the part of Lovejoy.
-Yeah, we're getting Martin.
-No shit, come on. How you gonna do that?
-I put a gun right here... ...and I tell him, 'Sign the paper Marty or your fuckin' dead.' Like that.
-I wonder, would that work? You know who I see for Al Roxy? Harvey Keitel. The man could do it in his sleep.
-Harvey Keitel. Yeah. Maybe. He was pretty good in the movie "Fingers".
-I missed that one. Or, hey, you know who else? Morgan Freeman. You know Morgan?
-Yeah, Morgan Freeman. But he's a colored guy.
-Title's the first thing's got to go. And the guy's name. I mean, even this writer's name, Murray Saffrin is better than "Lovejoy".
-There's Ilona.
-What about her?
-Get something going there.
-With Ilona? You know how old Ilona is?
-She's... young.
-Young? She's fuckin' nine-years-old, same age as Lovejoy's kid. Bernie. One she calls Bernard. Have you read the script?
-Yeah, I read it. I was just thinking you could make her older. We might even be able to get Karen Flores.
-Who?
-You know how to write one of these?
-There's nothin' to know. You have an idea, you write down what you wanna say. Then you get somebody to add in the commas and shit where they belong, if you aren't positive yourself. Maybe fix up the spelling where you have some tricky words... although I've seen scripts where I know words weren't spelled right and there was hardly any commas in it
-That's all there is to it, huh?
-I really think I can be of service on this one.
-I need the money.
-What money?
-The three hundred grand you got from a little dry cleaner named Leo.
-I can't believe the way you guys do business out here. I can't believe how fucked up your organization is.
-How 'bout I give you to three, then I organize your fuckin' brains all over the wall back there. One...
-What, you gonna shoot me now, Bo?
-In just a second. Two...
-I don't believe this.
-Karen? You okay?
-That's a nice scream, lady. You oughta be in movies.
-Alright, Bo. You can have the money... but it's not here. I have to go get it.
-You know Laurel Canyon?
-I'll find it.
-I'm at 8150 Wonderland Avenue. It's right off Laurel.
-Where's Karen?
-She's great. Gimme the money.
-You broke in my house and I have a witness to it.
-Only this time, no John Wayne and Dean Martin shooting the bad guys in El Dorado.
-It was Rio Bravo. Robert Mitchum was the drunk in El Dorado, Dean Martin in Rio Bravo, practically the same part. John Wayne, he also did the same thing in both. He played John Wayne.
-Man, I can't wait for you to be dead.
-Harry, you think we go to see your movies? I've seen better film on teeth. Makes no difference to me which one our money's in. So how 'bout you take our twenty points out of "Freaks" and put 'em in this other one, "Mr. Loverboy".
-I can't do it.
-You positive about that?
-Bo. I'm great. Listen, I'm expecting some people –-
-You must be makin' some big deals, doin' lunch in a place like this?
-I'm working on a few things.
-Yeah, I hear you bagged Martin Weir for Mr. Lovejoy.
-Last night. When he called me over to your office to talk about it.
-Chili Palmer showed you my script?
-Listen, Harry, how would you like to get your hands on five hundred grand? You pay me back at your convenience, no interest.
-You serious?
-How 'bout another one for Mr. Zimm. A double.
-You're gonna just give me five hundred grand?
-He was watching Letterman, huh? Sneaky, that Chili Palmer. So, he ever find this dry cleaner, the one with all that money on him?
-Assuming I go along with this, when can I have the five hundred?
-Whenever you want it. The money's in hundred dollar bills inside one of those jock bags, you know? In a locker at the airport, waiting to be picked up.
-The airport.
-I don't know.
-C-18.
-I can hear you, but where the fuck are you, man?
-What I been wondering is where's he been.
-Okay. Then be good enough to hand us our money back, or you think about us coming in on this new one.
-You get to town, you go straight to the bank, raid the limo account.
-I'm already in town, but it don't matter. We got dick in the bank. We dumped it all in Harry's movie.
-Ray Barboni?
-Who is this?
-Are you the guy they called Ray Bones?
-Depends. Who's this?
-Who is this? I'm the one telling you the way it is, okay, asshole? That's who I am. Now you want your three hundred grand or don't you?
-What three hundred grand?
-Hello? You there?
-Yeah, I'm here. I just don't like the anonymous crap. It means your either chickenshit or not for real.
-Yeah? Well, trust me. I'm very for real.
-Okay. So who are you?
-I work for Harry Zimm, alright?
-Who?
-Harry Zimm. The man happens to be a major Hollywood player.
-Never heard of him.
-So, what, this Zimm guy asking for some kinda finders fee, that what we're talking about here?
-Hey, Zimm doesn't ask for dick. Zimm tells you the way it is... or else.
-Or else what?
-Where's Leo Devoe? Where's Chili Palmer? Where's my fuckin' money?
-What?
-Look at me, Ray.
-You say look at you?
-How'd you get in here?
-I told them I was you. I acted stupid and they believed me.
-So what brings you to L.A., Bones?
-Why would I do that?
-I checked the bag at the airport, when I came.
-Yeah? Which terminal?
-Sovereign.
-You found Leo, didn't you? Took the poor asshole's money and put it in a locker, ready to go. Why haven't you left?
-Look, there's no reason you and I shouldn't get along. Forget all the bullshit from before -– I don't even remember how it started. You took a swing at me over some fuckin' thing, whatever it was -– forget it. You owe me some money, right? Forget that too. But, you don't say a fuckin' word about this to anybody. It's strictly between you
-Who the fuck are you?
-Ray Barboni. From Miami.
-The man you're steppin' on belongs to me and my partner.
-He owes me money.
-Get in line, bro.
-I don't like waiting.
-Tough shit, bro. This ain't Miami. You want something, talk to me.
-You a quick draw... 'bro?' You better be, your piece stuck way down in your belt like that.
-You live in Miami?
-That's right.
-What're you doing in Los Angeles?
-I'm in the movie business.
-You're an investor, is that it?
-I'm a producer.
-You have a card in here?
-Your wife a Lakers fan?
-By the way, you recall the number of the locker you used?
-It was C... I don't know, sixteen or seventeen, one of those. Why? You looking for anyway, a bomb or something?
-Something shouldn't be there.
-Why don't you get the attendant to open all the lockers and take a look. Maybe you'll find it.
-That's the idea. I'll think about it.
-That's what I'd do. Make sure I got the right guy next time.
-Anyway, you want this guy, he's in L.A. We put him on a flight after he spanked one a my cocktail girls in the Keno room.
-Leo spanked a waitress?
-Hey, Chil? Since you're goin' out to L.A. anyway.
-What've you got?
-Guy owes us a hundred and fifty grand, sixty days over; a movie producer.
-Jesus, if I have a heart attack, I hope you know what to do.
-Have we met? I don't recall.
-Did you stop to think what if I had a heart attack?
-I'm looking at you.
-I want you to keep looking right here, okay?
-That's what I'm doing.
-You know Dick Allen, Mesa's Casino?
-Dick Allen's a very dear friend of mine. How far you want to go with this?
-Operator, how do I get Las Vegas Information?
-A marker's like a check, Harry.
-I know what a marker is.
-You're not looking at me, Harry.
-Why do I have to keep looking at you?
-I want you to.
-You gonna get rough now, threaten me? I make good by tomorrow or get my legs broken?
-Come on, Harry -– Mesas? The worst they might do is get a judgment against you, uttering a bad check. I can't imagine you want that to happen, man in your position.
-You make movies, huh?
-Karen, say hello to Chili Palmer. Chili, this is Karen Flores.
-You want to hear this idea? It's about a dry cleaner who scams an airline out of three hundred grand. Go on, tell her.
-You just did.
-It's the kind of situation, you don't pay, you get your legs broken.
-Without him. The guy's so out of it he doesn't even know it's gone.
-Keep going.
-So he comes to L.A...
-That's it? That's your movie?
-I said I had an idea, that's all.
-That's half a movie, with holes in it. Maybe forty minutes of screen time. You don't even have a girl, a female lead, and on top of that, there's no one to sympathize with, you don't have a good guy.
-The shylock's the good guy.
-Part of it, yeah.
-Wait a minute, you're not the guy, are you? The dry cleaner?
-You mean, Leo?
-You wouldn't be talking to me if you were.
-I'm not the guy, Harry.
-But you work for the casino?
-I'm out here looking for Leo. I just looked you up as a favor to your dear friend, Dick Allen.
-Is that right, that's what you do for a living?
-I imagine in your line of work, there were times you had to get rough, you know, say one of your customers stopped paying.
-You pack a gun?
-Not really.
-What does that mean?
-Maybe a few times I have.
-Ever shot anybody.
-Once.
-Really? You ever been arrested?
-I've been picked up a couple times. Loan sharking. Racketeering. But I was never convicted. I'm clean.
-These guys, my investors, they run a limo service, came to me originally, put money in a few of my pictures and did okay, they're happy. So they come in on another deal -– this was back a few months ago when I was planning what would be my next picture, about this band of killer circus freaks that travel around the country leaving
-You're trying to tell me how you fucked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do. Let's just get to where you're at, okay? You blew the two hundred grand the limo guys gave you in Vegas on a basketball game and you haven't told 'em about it. Why not?
-Because they're not the type of guys would take it with any degree of understanding or restraint. The first thing they'd do is break my legs.
-You got that on the brain, Harry. If you're so scared of 'em why'd you take their money to Vegas to begin with?
-Because I need half a million to buy a script.
-For a movie?
-A blockbuster. But quality. No mutants or maniacs. This one's gonna be my "Driving Miss Daisy".
-What's it called?
-"Mr. Lovejoy".
-"Mr. Lovejoy"? That's the title?
-Murray Saffrin, guy who wrote it, did all my Grotesque pictures, had it in a drawer for twenty years. He shows it to me one day, tells me he's got a star interested, would I produce it.
-Two time academy award nominee, Martin Weir.
-Martin Weir. He played the mob guy that turned snitch in "The Cyclone".
-One of his best parts.
-No, his best part was the cripple gay guy that climbed Mt. Whitney.
-She looks familiar.
-Anyway, Murray has this shrink, who also happens to be Martin's personal trainer's shrink. Murray gives the shrink the script and the shrink gives it to Martin's trainer who reads it to Martin while they work out, and Martin flips. Loves it.
-So what's the problem?
-The problem is Murray. He and a few other blocked screenwriters went river rafting down the Kern a few weeks ago. Murray never made it back.
-He drown?
-Doris, Murray's widow, finds out about this Martin Weir thing and says since Murray and I never had any written contract, she wants five hundred grand for the script.
-So you're thinking what if I was to put you next to my dry cleaner. Ask him if he wants to invest his money in a movie.
-That, or I'm thinking what if some tragic accident were to befall the widow Saffrin -–
-I'm not gonna pop her, Harry.
-Just a thought.
-But I could talk to the limo guys. Tell 'em to leave you alone for a while. Make the point in a way they'd understand it.
-You don't even know these guys.
-Harry, I probably know 'em better than you do.
-What do you get out of this?
-Lovejoy sits behind the wheel, watching the bar across the street, getting his video camera ready for action... What's he doing? Following a guy?
-No leave 'em up, we want the light in their eyes. I'll be at the desk... but don't introduce me, let it go, just start talking. You're gonna be here, behind 'em when they sit down.
-They'll be looking at you. They don't know who you are.
-You don't say any more'n you have to. You say, 'Well, I'm glad you assholes stopped by, so I can set you straight.'
-What?
-I don't know, maybe I wasn't clear. But I thought... I told you to keep your mouth shut.
-I had to tell 'em something.
-You tell me you want these guys off your back. Next thing I know, you're saying yeah, maybe they can have a piece of Mr. Lovejoy. I couldn't believe my fuckin' ears.
-I said I'd think about it. What does that mean? In this town, nothing.
-That's the difference between you and me, Harry. I say what I mean. I want something from someone, I ask 'em straight out. I want Martin Weir, I go get Martin Weir. I don't fuck around with his trainer's shrink.
-How's anyone gonna see anything from way up there?
-Hey, Harry.
-Here's your keys, Harry.
-Is he giving you a check or cash?
-Okay, Harry, I'm wrong. You're not the one he's setting up.
-Really.
-Yeah, he wants us to talk to Buddy, set up a meeting.
-So how 'bout it, Mr. Selznick, do I make my deal with Bo? Or you gonna finally help me out, have a word with your dry cleaner when you find him.
-Forget about Leo's money, Harry.
-You have it?
-Harry, if I gave you Leo's money you'd have Ray Bones all over your ass and then you'd be in a whole new kinda trouble.
-Who?
-Ray Barboni. Guy from Miami, owns Leo now that Momo died.
-Who the fuck is Momo? Jesus, these fucking names...
-Maybe I oughta talk to this Ray Bones character myself. See if he wants to invest in my movie.
-You cut straight hair in this place, or just fags?
-You got a miss. Leo Devoe. Guy's six weeks over.
-He died.
-Yeah, he told me.
-Personally?
-Yeah, Ray, he personally told me he got killed in that Get Away Airlines' jet went down last month.
-What Get Away jet?
-It was in the Herald.
-Yeah, well, maybe the guy took out flight insurance. Check with the wife.
-Which also means when I speak, I'm speakin' for Jimmy. So e.g. as of now, you start affording me the proper respect.
-'E.g.' means 'for example', Ray. I think what you wanna say is 'i.e.'
-Bullshit. E.g. is short for 'ergo'.
-You owe me the dry cleaner's fifteen grand plus the juice which is what another, uhh...
-Twenty seven hundred.
-Yeah. That was a good party.
-You know, Marty, you were good in The Cyclone.
-Well, you had it down cold. Watching you in the movie, if I didn't know better I'd have to believe you were a made guy and not acting. Even the fink part. I never met a fink and I hope to God I never do, but how you did it must be the way finks act.
-A few weeks before shooting, I went back to Bensonhurst, just to listen to you guys. See, I'm Italian, but I grew up in Tarzana. So I wanted to pick up your rhythms of speech.
-We talk different?
-It's more like your attitude. Your tone, your speech patterns demonstrate a certain confidence in yourselves, in your opinions, your indifference to conventional views.
-You mean like we don't give a shit.
-So you don't know what I'm thinking.
-No, I don't. Though I have to say I'm curious.
-So you want to know.
-If you'd like to tell me, yeah.
-I'm thinking of a movie.
-One of mine?
-One we're producing.
-Martin, I'm not connected to those people anymore. Not since I walked out of a loanshark Operation in Miami.
-What happened? The pressure got to you?
-Guy owes me fifteen large and takes off, I go after him. The fuck you think I do?
-Martin, look at me.
-No, I want you to look at me the way I'm looking at you. Put it in your eyes, 'You're mine, asshole,' without saying it.
-Like this?
-What you're telling me, you're tired? You wanna go to bed?
-Wait. How about this?
-How about this?
-That's not bad.
-That's what I think of you, asshole. Nothing.
-I believe it.
-I turn it on when I confront the guy.
-Yeah, but you haven't found him yet. The guy took off for Las Vegas.
-The wife sues the airline. This is a gutsy babe.
-So when do I meet up with the husband and give him the look?
-It's not that simple. You have to be careful. There's another guy that comes along, a hard-on you owe some money to. A mob guy. Wants to take you out anyway, on account of a past situation.
-At that point, basically, that has to be it.
-Lemme talk to Buddy, set up a meeting.
-Very nice...
-Yeah, I like it, I'm high up, I can see everything, you know? It's the Cadillac of minivans.
-What's that?
-Compass.
-Whatta you think, Chill?
-I wouldn't think you're that dumb, leave over three hundred grand in the closet, underneath the extra blanket, but I guess you are.
-I didn't know where else to keep it. Where would you?
-You're here a while, what's wrong with a bank?
-They report it to the IRS.
-You've been losing.
-I'm up twelve grand today.
-From when? You left Vegas with four- fifty?
-Who told you that?
-Now you're down to three-ten in the case. You must've cooled off quite a bit since you got here.
-How'd you know I was here?
-It was Fay, wasn't it, told you about the money. She tell you my whole life history, for Christ's sake?
-I wouldn't let her if she tried. Why I'm here, Leo, basically, is to save your ass.
-How? By taking my money?
-You can keep what you won today. That's yours.
-It's all mine.
-You take all my money, but you're borrowing part of it?
-But you won't know where I am. I don't even know where I'll be.
-It's not one of these?
-You see a black leather jacket, fingertip length, like the one Pacino wore in Serpico? You don't, you owe me three seventy-nine.
-We call you a taxi.
-Lemme get this straight. You aren't responsible for any lost articles like an expensive coat of mine, but you're gonna find Ray Bones' coat or get him a new one? Is that what you're telling me?
-Mr. Barboni is a good customer. Works for Jimmy Capp.
-The door from the patio, in back.
-You broke in?
-No, it was open. It wasn't locked.
-Well, basically, this guy owes a shylock fifteen thousand, plus he's a few weeks behind on the vig, the interest you have to pay.
-The interest is four hundred and fifty dollars a week on fifteen thousand?
-That's right. Three percent.
-But a week. That's a hundred and fifty percent a year.
-A hundred and fifty-six. Some'll charge you more'n that, go as high as six for five on a short-term loan. So three a week's not too bad.
-A couple days ago by, people from the airliner come to see his wife, tell her how sorry they are and all that their plane exploded and offer her a settlement, the amount based on what he would've earned operating the dry cleaner's the rest of his life. Leo had some kind of trouble with his kidneys, so they were giving him about ten
-Hey... Karen. How ya' doin'?
-What're you doing here?
-I wanted to come by, apologize for coming into your house like I did last night.
-Lemme get this straight, you broke in again to apologize for breaking in before?
-No, no... you left the patio door open. You gotta stop doin' that, all the nice things you got around here.
-Yeah, well make sure you lock it on the way out.
-Rough day on the set?
-I spent all day crawling out of a grave. The costumer kept bitching 'cause I was ripping my nylons –-
-Ripped nylons work. Makes the shot more real.
-...That's what we finally decided.
-You saw that one?
-Yeah. When you turn to the camera to tell the alien mother that her time on earth is finished... when you give us all that look, Joan Crawford wishes on her best day she had that much presence. Not even in "Mildred Pierce" -– which by the way was a better book than a movie -– did Crawford even touch the intensity you had
-Yeah... that was a good scene. I mean, for a horror movie.
-For any movie.
-I know I'm better than what I've been doing the last ten years, walking around in a tank top and fuck-me pumps, waiting till it's time to scream.
-Man, can you scream.
-Yeah. It's a real gift. I'm just saying it'd be nice, one time in my career to get the chance to say one great line. You know, like in that Bette Davis picture, "Cabin in the..."
-"Cotton".
-How come you stopped making movies with Harry?
-I married Martin. That was a full- time job.
-You read Harry's new one? He says it's the best thing he's ever read.
-He must mean after "Slime Creature 3".
-That why Harry came over last night? See if you could help him get Martin in his movie?
-Harry's dreaming of a forty-million- dollar production he'll never get off the ground with a star he'll never sign. With or without my help.
-Harry told me Martin loves it, he flipped.
-Yeah, well Martin is known for his flipping. He flips over a script, and when the time comes to make a deal, he flips out.
-Tell you what, I'll stop by Harry's office and pick up a copy for you.
-Well, I gotta have a talk with Leo, my runaway dry cleaner.
-Right. See how your story ends.
-You been here the whole time?
-I got you a copy of the script.
-I already read it. Harry left a copy at the house.
-I think it's not horrible.
-I don't like the title. Or the main guy's name.
-Then you've read it?
-Not yet.
-You and Harry'll make a great team. I'm gonna make a deal with him.
-There a part in it for you?
-I don't want to act in it, I want to produce it with Harry. Especially if I help him get Martin.
-Sounds fair.
-That why you came over here, to ask me that?
-I want to know.
-Why does anyone want to be in movies?
-I was never much into it. All that bullshit having to do with respect. It's bad enough having to treat those guys like they're your heroes, having to smile when they make some stupid remark they think's real funny.
-And you think the movie business is any different?
-This thing's actually accurate. I bought it for ten bucks from a kid in a lawn chair on Sunset...
-Well actually, Martin the movie we came to talk about is Mr. Lovejoy.
-A locker at the airport? Jesus Christ, Harry. Tell me you're not really that stupid.
-That was Martin. He wants to have lunch tomorrow. That is, if you can make it.
-Depends, who pays?
-How'd you meet Martin anyway?
-Not unlike the way Nicki met him. Except it was a wrap party. Why?
-I don't know, I'm just havin' some trouble seeing you two together.
-You don't like Martin much, do you?
-Oh, I like him. I just think he's... short. I mean, he's a good actor and all, but I'm wondering what it was exactly you saw in Marty.
-So what about your story. You thought of a title yet?
-How 'bout Get Shorty? Except that isn't a movie. That's real life.
-How 'bout Chili's Hollywood Adventure.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. There's a girl in it now.
-I think you could be an actor. I know you're acting sometimes, but you don't show it.
-You thought I was faking?
-No. I don't mean that. I just meant in general.
-You don't mean a movie star? More like a character actor?
-I mean I could see myself in movies Robert De Niro had been in. Or I could maybe do an Al Pacino movie, play a hard-on. But I couldn't see myself in ones, like say the one where the three guys get stuck with a baby. They don't know how to take care of it and you see these big grown-up assholes acting cute
-Harry... My God...
-What kinda food they serve at this Ivy place anyway?
-Why not?
-Harry, what're you doing? You're supposed to be in the hospital.
-You sure?
-He's doing the same thing you did to him, playing Letterman on TV.
-It's not Dave. It's a movie.
-Are you going down?
-I don't know.
-You're as bad as Harry...
-You okay?
-Karen! What the fuck are you doing?!
-Were you scared up there?
-You bet.
-You don't act like it?
-I'll be right back.
-What took you so long?
-They're closing the Granview. You know, theater down on Biscayne?
-Yeah, the guy owes Momo a few G's.
-Momo could buy it, I could run it for him. Show some Cagney films.
-You sure it was Ray Bones took the coat?
-That's what the guy said.
-Hey, Chili. Get your coat, but don't piss the guy off, okay? It could get complicated and we'd have to call Momo to straighten it out. Then Momo gets pissed for wasting his time and we don't need that.
-No, I said I'm never goin' to bed. There's a difference. See, the article says most people die in their beds. I figure long as I stay outta bed, I'm safe.
-That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Where do you sleep?
-I told you not to -–
-I hate to say I told you, but I did. I told you don't start nothing with him that time.
-You said don't say nothing and I didn't.
-No, you just broke his fuckin' nose instead.
-You gonna start that again? You're just like him, all you got room for in your brain is one fuckin' thing.
-All I know is he came by the barber shop, all fuckin' undone, wanting to know where you were staying in Vegas. I told him I don't know. I still don't.
-How'd he know I was in Vegas? You tell him?
-He already knew it.
-Yeah, well, I'm in L.A. now.
-Whatta you doing out there?
-I'm going into the movie business.
-What're you talking about? You wanna be a movie star?
-I'm thinking about producing.
-How you gonna do that? You don't know shit about making movies.
-I don't think the producer has to do much, outside of maybe knowing a writer.
-Yeah, but whose point of view?
-Whatta you mean, whose point of view; The audience's point of view.
-All these camera moves and weird angles and shit are gonna distance us from the emotion of the scene.
-What 'emotion'? Girl just got stabbed in the ear with an ice pick.
-Yeah? What three words, Harry?
-Pick 'n' Save.
-Hm?
-So Mildred says to the cashier, 'I saw the new Streisand picture.' 'God, I just love it at the end when she brushed Robert Redford's hair off his forehead the way she did when they were together, and the way they gave each other this look that said they still loved each other, but knew they couldn't be together. That look was so... romantic.'
-That's great, Harry. So what's the --
-Hello, Doris.
-Well, aren't you gonna offer me whatever it is you taste like?
-What a spectacular view.
-I miss Murray, Harry.
-Yeah, me too. He was a helluva good writer. And I would know. I discovered him. Made him what he was.
-I'm not sure how I feel about this, Doris.
-You seem to feel fine about it.
-I mean morally. Murray was my friend.
-So this means you've reconsidered our deal on Mr. Lovejoy?
-No. But now that you mention it, I did talk to a handsome executive at Paramount the other day... who just happened to get his hands on the script.
-Yeah, what'd he have to say?
-He said if Martin's interested, I could get a half a million for it easy. But don't worry, Harry, I'm still giving you until Friday.
-What's wrong?
-Be quiet and listen.
-When I came upstairs, you stayed to finish your drink. I told you to turn off the TV when you were through. Come to think of it, I also told you you could sleep in the maid's room.
-Yeah, well I turned off the set. I used the remote control thing and laid it on the floor. You know what could've happened? The dog came in and stepped on it, turned the TV back on.
-I don't have a dog.
-You don't? What happened to Muff?
-Anyone skim the pool? It needs it.
-Harry -–
-How did you get in the house?
-He's telling me an idea for a movie. It's not bad so far. Sit down, have a drink. Tell Karen, let's see what she thinks.
-That Miami flight that went down, it was on the news every day for about a week. Harry must've been busy.
-With your experience, you could always become an agent. Right, Harry?
-Yeah, that's what we need. More agents.
-Well. I got an audition tomorrow.
-What I'm saying, Harry, is I want you and your new buddy to get out of my house.
-Harry, what're you still doing with those guys?
-Harry, we spoke with Martin.
-'We?'
-Harry -–
-Which two?
-Once their lives are in danger and you have the mob guy coming after them, it not only heightens the tension, it adds a wistful element to their love.
-I have to run. But what I hope to see, they begin to have misgivings about wanting the money. It becomes their moral dilemma and they try to rationalize keeping it, but in the end they can't. Can they?
-What money?
-The three hundred large. What other money is there? I should keep quiet, I know, till I've read the script, but I've got a feeling about this one. I'm that shylock.
-Karen. Wow. Look at you...
-I'm sitting here, I'm looking at you and I'm having these flashes. You know, flashbacks, of memories. Of us.
-Really.
-Yeah and I'm wondering, how did it go wrong? How did it all... slip away?
-Oh, for Christ's sake –-
-Lufkin. His... agent.
-Yeah, Karen knows him.
-But you are interested?
-Hi, sweetface. You look great. And mmmmm, you smell good, too.
-I have to consider, I mean, as the mob guy, this is another man's wife I'm sleeping with.
-Arctic Warrior, Arctic Warrior, Arctic Warrior. This is United States Coastguard Station North Island. Over.
-North Island, I wish to declare myself salvor-in-posession under section four two charlie of the International Maritime Convention.
-Affirmative, Arctic Warrior. What type of vessel?
-A passenger liner. Over.
-A passenger liner, north island. Over.
-What is the vessel name, registry, and present position? Over.
-Passenger vessel "Chimera." I will spell: charlie hotel india mary echo romeo alpha. No registry information is available at this time. I have determined to the best of my ability that the vessel has been abandoned on the high seas at position one seven four west, five seven north at... Two zero one four hours zulu time. Over.
-Affirmative, Arctic Warrior. Please advise your salvage authority pending registry check. Over.
-North Island, please repeat? Over.
-North Island, have you got any additional information? Over.
-Roger, North Island. I am tied to the passenger vessel Chimera. And she is afloat. Repeat, she is afloat. Over.
-Roger, Arctic Warrior. I say again, our records indicate the passenger vessel Chimera was lost at sea. Over.
-Roger, North Island. Please advise pending further information. Over.
-Arctic Warrior, Arctic Warrior, Arctic Warrior. This is United States Coastguard Station North Island. Your radio check is affirmative. Over.
-Hear that, Dodge? Epps don't think it's a problem.
-Looks like Epps' gonna get some tonight.
-Hypothetically speaking, what if we get this boat to Sitka and find out somebody wants it back?
-They shoulda thought of that when they let her float away.
-You think the extra strain caused it?
-How about now?
-Sixty pounds.
-What? You sure?
-That's what it says.
-Are you crazy? Do you realize we got ourselves a ship? We own a ship, Dodge.
-Fucker!
-Take it easy, Dodge. It's only a piece of metal.
-Damn mind of it's own.
-One minute I'm minding my own business, the next thing I know the whole place is burning up. An oxygen tank must've blown on the welder. Started an oil fire.
-What's so great about Sweden?
-Yeah, but not as cold as those Swedish girls you only gonna dream about.
-Where's his boat, then? Where's his crew? He ain't gonna be out here by himself, that's for damn sure.
-Let's not be too hasty.
-I need lag bolts, especially one inch standard. And sheet metal. Preferably steel, about a sixteenth of an inch. Aluminium, even tin'll do.
-I ain't no mechanic, just so you know.
-What day is it?
-I don't know. Tuesday?
-When they find out what it's carrying, they may not be so interested in what's legal.
-The turbine blew.
-You'd think on a ship this size there'd be something left to eat.
-Where from?
-One more?
-What is your first name?
-What?
-Maureen.
-What?
-Maureen.
-Roger.
-Roger?
-You think that's funny
-Probably slipped her moorings, got tangled up in a current.
-Out here? What, so a seven hundred foot passenger liner drifted out of Spokane harbor and nobody managed to bump into her until now?
-Seeing as though a foot of one of these fuckers weighs about a hundred pounds, it ain't gonna be what you'd call easy. Any questions?
-Supposing one of those cables breaks under tow.
-Ready?
-Nobody just scuttles a passenger liner either.
-If this thing turns out to be a ship everybody thought sank a long time ago, we just hit the jackpot.
-Last thing we want is extra partners.
-This's gonna hurt a little.
-What other choices have we got?
-Guess I'll just keep working.
-What're you crazy?
-Light in those passages ain't so good.
-Maybe that is his boat.
-Fifty million dollars. Fifty million. We gonna let this guy just take it from us? One guy?
-So we kill him?
-One guy isn't gonna be so stupid.
-Pretty handy with that scatter gun, Epps. You raised on a farm?
-Smokes?
-I'm no doctor. But I'd say he's in a coma.
-A what?
-I don't know what else you'd call it. He's breathing on his own, but his pupils are completely blown out. He's totally unresponsive to pain. What happened up there?
-Other than the obvious, there's nothing wrong with him that I can see, not on the outside.
-Try Wednesday.
-Did you?
-What say, Epps? You up for some roasted albatross?
-Dodge. Dodge.
-What?
-Get up.
-You aren't jealous, are you Dodge?
-What the hell would a freighter be doing up here? It's way out of the lanes. There's not a port for 800 miles.
-Yeah, from one side of the harbor to the other. But we got half the Bering Sea and the whole Alaskan gulf to drag her over.
-You have any idea how much a ship like that could be worth in salvage? The fittings alone could go for a few million.
-If you get it back in one piece.
-It's a bloody navigation hazard. One boat can't control a ship that size.
-With a little extra fuel, weather permitting, we should make Sitka in five days without another stop.
-Mother fucker!
-What is it?
-The number one turbine's pretty well trashed. Number two runs, but it's way underpowered.
-How long to fix?
-What's this?
-Turbine rotor's shot.
-I thought you said it was just a blade.
-Metal's crystallized. Gotta replace the whole deal.
-How much longer's that gonna take?
-Like I always say --
-I know I know, two ways to do anything --
-The right way and the wrong way.
-But how long?
-Hard to say.
-We gotta get outa here, Dodge. A storm blows up and we're history.
-I'm telling you, you don't want to be running that fan like it is.
-What about running number two by itself?
-It's a full 2500 horses down. We couldn't drag that boat down hill on ice with it.
-How long, then?
-I gotta pull the blades and re-seat everything in a new rotor -- .
-How long?
-Three, four days.
-Goddamit, Dodge.
-Obviously it's some kind of screw up. The shipping records aren't a hundred percent accurate.
-Went aboard.
-It's a hell of a lot of money.
-What, you think there's something funny about it?
-Didn't happen yesterday, I'll tell you that. Torn parts rusted bad as the rest of the boat.
-Or somebody stopped them.
-So what're we gonna do. That's the big question, right?
-A salvage claim to a vessel's cargo's as valid as a claim to the vessel itself. It's ours.
-Then we're rich. We're damn, filthy stinking rich.
-You gotta be kidding? What the hell we need that tub for, we got fifty million bucks?
-Yeah, yeah. I'm on it.
-I'm buyin' me a nice outrigger. Spend my time hauling rich Seattle business men through the Puget.
-Dreamin's all any of you're gonna be doing if we don't get this boat running.
-Sounds like the hull.
-If somebody's aboard her already, she ain't ours. She's theirs.
-Bullshit. That boat hasn't made steam for fifty years. We found her. She's ours.
-I say fuck the motherfucker. We're a professional salvage crew going about our business. What's some yahoo doing way out here by himself anyway?
-And what do you propose? That we knock this guy off?
-What if that fucker finds it before we're ready to go?
-If he's reasonable, maybe we can make some kind of deal. If not. We'll have to re-consider our options.
-Bodies're too fresh.
-Damn barbaric is what it is.
-That'd be my guess.
-Can't you use something else?
-I might be able to find something on the ship. But it's gonna take time.
-Do what you need to do. Just do it fast.
-Dodge to Murphy.
-Murphy.
-You better get down here quick, skipper. I'm on "C" deck. Cabin 400.
-What is it?
-It was a man's voice. Repeating some sort of children's rhyme. I don't know, it didn't make any sense. You didn't hear it?
-On a passenger ship in 1953?
-So. I got a question. Just from a, you know, purely technical standpoint. We call the Coastguard. Coastguard shows up. What exactly is the plan?
-How do you mean?
-Well, they're gonna be asking a lot of questions. About us. About those bodies. About the gold. Seems like we oughta be prepared is all.
-I guess the best strategy's just to tell them the truth.
-Yeah, well. The truth is one thing. When there's more than a few hundred million dollars involved, that's a whole new deal.
-What do you propose?
-There's no way we're gonna hide a few thousand pounds of gold from the Coastguard here. Besides, it'll be safer where it is.
-Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!
-I don't know what you're talking about?
-I think you know.
-The radio!
-Take it easy, willya? What about the radio?!
-You smashed it!
-What?!
-Don't lie to me!
-What the fuck -- ?
-You didn't want us calling anybody. Too liable to ruin your big payday.
-I didn't touch the fucking radio! Ever occur to you there's somebody else on that boat, skipper?
-Conveniently enough for you.
-Yeah.
-What the hell happened!
-That oughta buy a man pretty much anything he wants.
-If money can buy what he wants.
-I don't figure there's much I want money can't buy.
-We'll stand the watch on deck tonight. You're up first.
-Tomorrow we'll see if we can't find some line and tackle. Use some of those bodies below decks for bait.
-You're late.
-Sorry.
-Don't fall asleep.
-What's slow?
-Morning everybody.
-Show your tatoos to that coxswain last night, did you Epps?
-Showed him a hell of a lot more than that.
-Could be a fishing boat.
-Looks like one hell of a stick up his ass.
-You mean, before she sank.
-Then why didn't they take it.
-Two hundred twenty two kilograms of solid gold.
-That's what I call a payday.
-That's a good thing?
-What'd he look like?
-Coffee.
-Stay away. Or else.
-Any dizziness?
-No.
-Headache, nausea, lights?
-Lights?
-Sudden flashes of light.
-I don't even want to know what that's gonna taste like now.
-You okay?
-Yeah. Fine. I just thought I heard something is all.
-What?
-I can't believe you. Dodge's dead and all you can think about is cashing in your share.
-Candy?
-Go on.
-The law's on our side. If they want to challenge it, let them try.
-Coffee?
-What'd you find up there?
-Some charts. A crew manifest. Looks like her last voyage was January 1953. The question is where the hell's she been since.
-She was sailing up north, right?
-Her destination was Halifax, yeah.
-Ever heard of the Mary Celeste?
-Nope.
-She was a two-masted brig boat sailing out of New York in 1872. One day she was sighted off the coast of Portugal by a merchant vessel, the Dei Gratia. As the crew of the Dei Gratia got closer, they discovered that no one was at the helm of the Mary Celeste. On boarding, they found her completely deserted. The captain, his wife, their
-So what did happen?
-Nobody knows. There've been a lot of theories, of course. But we'll never really know for sure.
-I think we'd be surprised where a drifting ship might wind up with a little wind and the right current.
-You're more practical than superstitious.
-Maybe they didn't want it back. Maybe the whole fat deal was insured.
-Why not call for help?
-Take it easy, you'll live longer.
-Did you see him?
-Who?
-The guy. He just came this way.
-What guy?
-There's somebody else on this boat.
-What? What the hell're you talking about.
-I saw him. Just a minute ago. Some guy.
-Are you sure?
-Of course I'm sure. I saw him.
-You sure it wasn't me?
-So, we find this guy and make a deal with him.
-Guess that'd be me. Again.
-No cowboy shit up there, understand?
-Got your light?
-Murphy to Epps.
-Epps.
-You just shoot at something?
-Just before I heard him yell there was somebody on the radio.
-Greer?
-He needs a doctor.
-How's he doing?
-Same. Any luck?
-They're dead in the water that morning. Four hours later the captain's relieved of his command. And that evening they issue a general SOS.
-You're saying they mutinied for the gold?
-If they were close enough to shore, they probably figured they could get away in the lifeboats.
-The ah... the radio's out.
-What?
-Smashed it up pretty bad.
-"The crew have gone mad with greed and fight among themselves like wild dogs over fresh kill."
-February first.
-The same day she supposedly went down.
-"Their lacking diligence has undoubtedly caused the collision. Distress calls have been made."
-Collision? With what?
-The page's missing. Then their SOS was real.
-But where's the damage?
-Maybe the other ship took the worst of it.
-It's a good bet they'll be asking a lot of questions when they get here too.
-It's not gonna hold us.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Couldn't sleep.
-What do you think happened on this boat?
-I guess that's the sixty four thousand dollar question, isn't it?
-The what?
-Never mind. Before your time. I think at least some of the crew went a little nuts. The usual stuff that happens when people stumble on a fortune. Equal parts greed and paranoia, usually resulting in homicide. What happened after that is anybody's guess. But, judging by our Greek friends down below, it doesn't look like the last time.
-Are we smart enough to avoid that?
-When you found me yesterday, at the pool. I'd seen... something. Someone.
-Not our mystery guest again.
-What, like some kind of ghost?
-Maybe hallucination is the wrong word. It was more than that. As though they were showing me.
-Showing you what?
-What happened.
-Maybe it was one of them did the handy work on those Greeks.
-No. I think they are, were, just passengers. Innocent victims.
-Victims of what?
-Something bad happened here, Murphy.
-That much I think we've already established.
-She said the ship was evil. That we had to leave right away. That if we didn't, we might never leave.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Why you? How come the rest of us haven't seen these people?
-Murphy to Epps.
-Epps, over.
-Nope.
-Epps? You there?
-What do we do with him?
-What do you think?
-Could be a stroke. Who knows? The general log said the crew were fighting among themselves. "Like wild dogs."
-Over the gold.
-They went crazy.
-Hard to say which is worse, staying here or taking our chances in open water.
-If the weather holds it might not be so bad.
-What happened?
-We hit land.
-What?
-We're in an island chain. It's only a matter of time before we hit another one.
-You killed them.
-It was only a matter of time before somebody killed somebody. You saw it coming as well as I did. Dodge had his plans, starting with scuttling the boat. And Greer too, except he went nuts. Couldn't take it, I guess. Could've happened in the middle of downtown Anchorage. But did it make him any less dangerous? I don't think so.
-So you killed them?
-The way I figure it, it was them or me. I thought putting Dodge up on that pipe was a nice touch? Bought a little time. Made it look like whoever killed those Greeks was still around. But it's just us on this ship. Us and your... spirit friends.
-And now you're gonna kill me, is that it?
-I didn't want it to turn out this way.
-Murphy, don't you see what's happening?
-I think I see it pretty well.
-It's the ship. The ship's making you think this way.
-I know a little bit about human nature and what I've seen only confirms that.
-It's a trap. There was no way we were gonna get away with that gold. Nobody ever does. It's just the bait. This ship sucks people in and it never lets them out.
-I think maybe you been on this boat a little too long, with all that supernatural mumbo jumbo. There's nothing supernatural about greed. And that's what it comes down to, pure and simple.
-I don't give a damn about the gold.
-Greer to Murphy.
-The number nine on the starboard side's half flooded. Epps says it's a slow leak just under the waterline, about twenty gallons an hour. They must've pumped it before we left Sitka.
-Of course they did.
-Let the buyer beware.
-Not bad for dragging a leaky tub half way to Russia.
-He'll sell the scrap for three times what he paid.
-I must be in the wrong business.
-You got that right.
-Red sky at night, sailor's delight.
-Yeah.
-I been watching it for close to an hour and it hasn't moved. I can't raise it on the radio either. Makes me think it might be in trouble.
-Too deep to anchor out there.
-Call the Coastguard?
-It's funny.
-How's that?
-Murphy, goddamit.
-Whatever the reason, she's adrift and abandoned. We've got every right to salvage her.
-You mean tow her back? That's a thirty thousand ton ship you're talking about.
-All we got to do is hit some rough weather and you can forget about it.
-Some classy tub in it's day, huh?
-Morning.
-You're up late.
-How much you figure that's worth, skipper?
-Hard to say. Maybe forty, fifty million.
-If they thought it was lost at sea, they probably just wrote it off.
-So what? We gonna unload the gold and get a move on?
-Yeah, but we still gotta haul that big piece of shit all the way back to Sitka.
-I heard that.
-What now?
-We could call for help.
-Fifty million four ways. That's twelve million and change a piece. What you gonna do with your share, skipper?
-Greer?
-I don't know.
-Let's just take it easy here, alright? Nobody's gonna kill anybody.
-I say we off-load some of that gold now.
-Pretty low all around.
-Ho-ly shit.
-Greek citizen. Merchant navy. Obviously we aren't the first to come across this ship. They probably stumbled across it just like we did.
-Maybe Epps's mystery man had something to do with it.
-Never been more thirsty in my life.
-How're you feeling?
-What happened?
-You don't remember?
-Last thing I remember I was aboard the Chimera. Down somewhere in there scavenging around.
-You've been out for about a day.
-Say what?
-Oh, man.
-We heard you scream. Any idea what you might've seen?
-We're not gonna be able to pump it!
-We ain't exactly in what you'd call your high traffic neighborhood either.
-Gettin' a little hot under the collar, I'd say.
-Shut up.
-It's a Noaa buoy.
-A what?
-We're still drifting.
-He took the shotgun and a light.
-Can't find the shotgun.
-So whoever did this now has our shotgun.
-What about the gold?
-Leave it.
-Now hold up just a minute. Let's be reasonable here.
-You think whoever did this is reasonable?
-Nobody's going anywhere with that gold now. Anybody tries to board, we'll know about it. You can do what you want, Greer. But neither of us is gonna risk saving your ass down here if it comes to that.
-What seems to be the trouble, ladies?
-As I said, what seems to be the trouble?
-Didn't you hear me, grandpa? Or you got your hearing aid turned down?
-These ladies was having themselves a discussion and you're interrupting it.
-You got about two seconds to get your paws off me, Tarzan.
-I thought you say Tuesday.
-Better late than never.
-What's this?
-You got a leak in the number nine compartment.
-No, no. You got leak.
-You pump it out and re-seam the hull, she'll be good as new.
-That cost me twenty grand at least.
-Fifteen, at the most.
-You're kidding, right?
-Have you seen my blue spatula?
-Nope. What are you making, pancakes?
-Will you get off my back for once?
-It's tough to find a good job without any kind of training.
-Look, I told you I'm not going to college.
-Well, I think it's good to keep all your options open. You can always enroll for the winter quarter. You could even live here and go to the city college part time, and still get a job if you wanted to.
-Did I tell you who I ran into at the bagel place?
-Who?
-Guess.
-How should I know?
-Someone from the past.
-Who?
-Give up?
-YES.
-Maxine.
-Not the Maxine?
-Yup.
-Hi. Look, I'm kind of tired - I think I'll go to bed.
-I made spaghetti. Do you want some?
-I have some good news for you, Pumpkin.
-What is it now?
-Are you still looking for a job?
-I guess.
-Well, Maxine thinks she can get you a sales job at Computer Station. Normally you have to have references and at least two years of experience, but she thinks she can convince them.
-Pumpkin? What's wrong?
-It's nothing -- it's just some hormonal thing... don't worry about it...
-I've got some important news to tell you, but it can wait till later if you're not feeling...
-What?
-Pumpkin, are you in there?
-Are you going to yell at me?
-About what?
-Yeah, I heard about that.
-I was in a horrible mood - tell her not to worry, I'll be completely out of her life in a few days.
-She understands what you're going through and she really wants to help you. She says that job at Computer Station is still available if you want it.
-I-I'm not sure... yeah, maybe.
-Actually, I was just checking to see if you were here - your friend Seymour is on his way up.
-What do you mean "on his way up"!?
-What's wrong with you?! Tell him I'm not here!
-But I can't --
-That was great - jeez, thanks again for cooking all this.
-Here we are... it's mocha mint from Lickety Splits. Oh, isn't that photograph just heart-rending?
-Yeah ... where is this? Bosnia?
-Was it Bosnia? I forget... It's so sad, the tragedy of an entire country eloquently captured in the face of one little boy. A Soul/Funk song starts up on the radio that catches her attention. She goes over and turns it up.
-Oh, I just love this song! Isn't it great? Doesn't it make you want to dance? C'mon!
-Uh, well, that's okay - I don't dance, heh, heh...
-Don't be silly, anyone can dance. Here, just follow me... watch my feet.
-Hey, it's nearly nine already - we're gonna have to leave now if we're going to make that movie.
-I'm so excited to see this film - Dustoffvarnya is such a brilliant director! Did you see his last film, The Flower That Drank The Moon? It was simply glorious!
-Uh, no. I missed that one. But what do I know? I like Laurel and Hardy movies.
-Seymour?... uh... hello... I guess I'm a little early...
-Dana! Hi! Uh, Dana... this is Enid...
-Seymour! Hello! What are you doing here?
-Oh -- please - don't let me interrupt finish your phone call.
-Hey... so, what brings you down here?
-I uh... I feel that I need to uh -- there's something I feel I have to say... I uh, I've never said this to anyone before -- believe me, I've stayed in horrible relationships for years just so I wouldn't have to do this, but I uh...
-What are you trying to say?
-I-I honestly never intended for this to happen...
-Please tell me it isn't that teenager!
-Enid and I were just friends. You know... we feel comfortable around each other... she really likes my old records and...
-And what can you tell us about this...
-Who is this, Enid?
-It's supposed to be Don Knotts.
-And what was your reason for choosing him as your subject?
-I dunno... I just like Don Knotts.
-These are all valid comments, but I think we should see if the artist has anything to bring to this.
-Well, I got the idea when I was doing some research and I discovered that Cook's Chicken used to be called Coon's Chicken, and so I decided to do my project based on this discovery as kind of a comment on racism... and the way racism is whitewashed over in our culture...
-Did you actually do this painting?
-Well, no - it's more like a "found art object."
-And how do you think this addresses the subject of racism?
-It's complicated... I guess I'm trying to show how racism used to -- more out in the open and now it's hidden, or something...
-And how does an image like this help us to see that?
-Enid, can I talk to you for a minute?
-Uh-oh.
-Don't worry - it's nothing bad. I was just wondering what your plans were for next year?
-I'm not really sure - working, I guess...
-Hmm.
-As far as I know it includes housing and meals and everything... it is really quite an offer...
-...wow...
-So what do you think?
-I dunno... Would I have to take classes and stuff?
-Well, yes...
-I...
-Enid! I'm so sorry about what happened.
-What do you mean?
-The whole business with the art show and the newspaper -- it's absolutely --
-Huh?
-Didn't Principal Jaffee call you?
-I didn't check my messages...
-Oh my goodness... well, the whole thing is just ridiculous, and as soon as the school board is back in session next Fall I'm going to do everything I can to help you.
-Help me what?
-Well they're forcing me to give you a non-passing grade in the class because of what happened at the exhibition... but don't worry -- I'm sure I'll be able to get you your diploma in the Fall!
-But... can I still get that scholarship to the Art Academy?
-I'm gonna let you handle the four thirty crowd by yourself - that way I can evaluate your performance while it's slow and ease you into the bigger crowds.
-What are you doing? You don't ever criticize the feature!
-Why? What difference does it make? You already got his money...
-Look, that's the policy... if you want to make up your own rules you can open your own theater...
-But I was only trying to be friendly...
-Look, we don't pay you to be a movie critic -- just do your job.
-What the hell is wrong with you?!
-What? I'm just kidding around with the customers... It's my shtick!
-Well lose it! And why aren't you pushing the large sizes? Didn't you get training about upsizing?
-But I feel weird... it's so sleazy.
-It's not optional!
-Well hello there, young employee of the Sidewinder.
-Look, I already told you I'm not going to give you a ride.
-What can you tell me, young man, about the various flavors of "frozen yogurt"?
-Look, I'll be done in a minute. Just wait outside.
-So Josh...
-That guy rules!
-Who, Doug? He spends more time here than I do...
-So Josh, will you give us a ride? Please? Pretty please? It's going to be super fun!
-Why do you even need a ride? You could walk there in two minutes.
-Aren't there a million places like this?
-This is the ultimate. It's like the Taj Mahal of bad, fake 50's diners.
-So, where's "Weird Al"?
-Yeah, right.
-That's not him... Jesus, stop freaking me out.
-In answer to your question, I suppose I endorse policies that are opposed to stupidity and violence and cruelty in any form...
-Jesus, look at this guy.
-Forget it.
-Come on, Josh... don't you want to see where he lives?
-No.
-But this guy is like a one-of-kind, rare butterfly, and we have to follow him back to his natural habitat...
-Hi Josh.
-Hi.
-I just stopped in to say hi.
-Hi... what's up?
-Are you the one who left that note?
-Do you want something to drink?
-Why?
-What do you mean "why"?
-Are you trying to get me wasted so you can take advantage of my womanly charms?
-Yeah, right...
-"Yeah, right"... well why not? What's so wrong with me?
-Nothing.
-Then why do you hate me so much?
-When did I say I hated you?
-You've never once said anything even remotely nice to me.
-You make me nervous! I always feel like you're going out of your way to make me feel uncomfortable so you can laugh at me!
-That's just the way I am!
-Yeah, well --
-You must have known all along how I -- you know -- how I felt about you -- it must be totally obvious... God... I always used to dream about this...
-Oh, hi...
-Why do all guys have to play stupid guitars? It's so typical... Either they're into cars or guns or sports or guitars... it's so obvious...
-How long have you been up?
-I couldn't sleep... I should get going; I feel really weird...
-Do you want to go get breakfast somewhere?
-I don't think we should... Look, you have to totally promise me you won't tell Becky about this.
-Why not?
-Because if you do, I'll kill you!
-Okay... I promise.
-Hi Enid.
-Hey Josh.
-God, what a bunch of retards...
-I thought Chipmunk-face was never going to shut up.
-I know, I liked her better when she was an alcoholic crack addict! She gets in one car wreck and all of a sudden she's Little Miss Perfect and everybody loves her.
-What?... Oh suck my fucking dick!
-What?
-These assholes are saying that I have to go to Summer school and take some stupid art class!
-Why?
-Remember that stupid hippie art teacher who failed me sophomore year? I didn't think that just because you get an "F" that means you have to take the class over again.
-This is so bad, it's almost good.
-Just think, we'll never have to see any of these creepy faces ever again.
-Unless they're in your Summer school class!
-Shut up!
-Uh oh... don't turn around...
-What? Why?
-Since when is she an "actress"?
-Oh my god, look! Is Stacy Himmler going out with Rod Harbaugh?
-How perfect.
-God, just think, we'll never see Dennis again.
-Good.
-Hi.
-Look at these people behind you. I'm totally convinced they're Satanists.
-Why?
-So, when are we going to start looking for our apartment?
-Soon... I have to wait and see how this Summer class goes.
-Did you sign up yet?
-Yeah, I just picked the one that sounded the easiest.
-God, it's so weird that we're finally out of high school... We've been waiting for this our whole life! Now we can get our own apartment and do anything we want. It's such a weird feeling.
-Hey, look, the satanists are leaving!
-Much later.
-What do you do if you're a satanist, anyway?
-You know, sacrifice virgins and stuff...
-Maybe there's some weird secret satanic society that meets at the Quality Cafe and all of the other regular customers are in on it except for us.
-Or maybe not.
-Maybe they're slowly poisoning us or they're planning to brainwash us and --
-Okay, okay!
-"Authentic 50's diner"? Since when were there mini-malls in the 1950's?
-Who can forget this great hit from the 50's?
-Hi, Al!
-I might actually get the pasta special.
-Did you notice all those weird things on the menu? Like "The Salad Explosion"?
-I know... and instead of "dessert" it says "Mindbenders."
-Check out the Personals... maybe our future husbands are trying to contact us.
-God, this paper is so boring. Who reads all this shit? Here we go... "Windsurfing Doctor, Mensan IQ, maverick Sagittarius. Let's hit the clubs, make each other laugh!"
-You can have that one.
-Okay, well here's yours... "Who said all the most eligible bachelors are taken? Not this one! Stunning bod, very snugglelicious ocean sunset dreamer."
-Jesus! Listen to this one: "Do you remember me? Airport shuttle, June 7th. You: striking redhead with yellow dress, pearl necklace, brown shoes. I was the bookish fellow in the green cardigan who helped you find your contact lens. Am I crazy, or did we have a moment?"
-God, that's so pathetic. I bet she didn't even notice him.
-I know. And he's like psychotically obsessing over every little detail.
-We should call him and pretend to be the redhead.
-Does Oomie really like this show?
-So what should we do?
-Wait... I just want to see what's on this tape.
-What is this?
-Hey - why do you have this?
-You lent it to me in like tenth grade.
-Look at how cute I am!
-Look, that's back when I hated you.
-I remember every minute of that party.
-There's my dad with Joanie.
-I can never keep them all straight - was she the super-bitch?
-I want to do him!
-I bet! Actually he reminds me of that one creep you went out with -- you always go for guys with some lame, fake shtick.
-What are you talking about -- who?
-That Larry guy -- what look was he going for? A gay tennis player from the forties?
-Hey! We forgot to call the loser!
-Which loser?
-You know, the green cardigan guy.
-You call.
-Why do I always have to do it?
-You're better at it.
-I remember when I first started reading these I thought DWF stood for "dwarf!"
-What does it stand for?
-God, I think Josh is too mature for us.
-I know, look at the way he drives... he's like an old man.
-Look, maybe that's him!
-I want to "make love" to him.
-SHUT UP!
-Is he wearing a green cardigan?
-It's obviously him!
-What's going on now? What's he doing?
-What's he doing now?
-Do you think he knows?
-Are you sure?
-He's insane!
-He doesn't even look that bummed out, really.
-I know... wouldn't you be totally pissed off?
-This is way too creepy.
-He won't see us... we'll just stalk him from a distance.
-The W.C. Fields Fan Club Newsletter... Oh my God, The National Psoriasis Foundation!
-What should we do? What if he recognizes us?
-Ew, look at this...
-Gross!
-I think it's cute - look at his little weasel teeth.
-That was truly pathetic.
-He was so excited when you bought that record -- you're a saint!... God, these apartments are super expensive...
-It was so cute how he had his own little bags. I thought I was going to start crying!... Do you think they're gay?
-What about the "striking redhead in the yellow dress"?
-Oh yeah...
-He should totally just kill himself... Hey, here's one ...Oh wait... you have to share it with a non smoking feminist and her two cats...
-I dunno... I kind of like him... He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate... In a way he's such a clueless dork that he's almost cool...
-That guy is many things but he definitely isn't "cool"... This one would be okay, but there's no kitchen...
-Yeah, but... you know what I mean.
-Not really...
-We're not sure yet, that's why we're looking.
-"Funky"?
-I've been thinking about when we look for our apartment how we have to try and convince people that we're like these totally rich yuppies...
-What are you talking about?
-That's who people want to rent to. It's a known fact that it's way easier to get a job and everything if you're rich... All we have to do is buy a few semi-expensive outfits and act like it's no big deal... it'll be fun.
-You just want an excuse to dress like some stupid fashion model without me making fun of you.
-Just promise you'll do it.
-What? How long have you been standing there?
-Did you have to buy new hair dye or did you still have some left over from eighth grade?
-We still have to go in there sometime.
-It's always closed...
-Where are we going?
-Let's go hassle Josh.
-There he is...
-As always.
-Waiting for the bus that never comes...
-I wonder if he's just totally insane and he really thinks a bus is coming or --
-JOSH!
-I'll bet he never jerks off...
-Yeah, he's beyond human stuff like that.
-Why are we going here? I hate this place.
-What was that all about?
-It's not like I'm some modern Punk dickhead... It's obviously supposed to be a 1977 Punk look, but I guess Johnny Fuckface is too stupid to get it!
-I didn't get it either.
-How about this one?
-Ew ... when did you get that?
-This morning at Seymour's garage sale.
-How about this?
-Let's get out of here, this place makes me sick.
-We have to do something fun tonight this is my last weekend of freedom before I start my stupid job.
-I know a party we could go to...
-What? Where?!
-It's a surprise.
-I don't believe you.
-I totally, totally hate you.
-I'll be right back, I'm gonna go get a beer.
-Give me all your money, bitch!
-Where did you get that?
-You won't believe it! Guess!
-Where?
-Anthony's II!
-No way... when?
-Just now... I went with Seymour.
-That guy is totally amazing.
-God, how can you stand all these assholes?
-I don't know... Some people are okay, but mostly I feel like poisoning everybody.
-At least the wheelchair guy is sort of entertaining...
-He's a total asshole... He doesn't even need that wheelchair, he's just totally lazy!
-That rules!
-No, it doesn't. You'll see... you get totally sick of all the creeps and losers and weirdos.
-But those are our people...
-Yeah, well... So when are you going to get your job?
-I'm working on it... I've got a few leads... it's just that right now I have, all these projects that take up all my time.
-Like what?
-Nothing. Don't worry... I promise I'll get a job next week.
-...you don't have to make a million dollars -- just get any stupid job so we can at least start looking for an apartment.
-I wonder if I hang around with you because you're like my surrogate mother figure or something. Like I have this subconscious biological need to be nagged and bitched at constantly.
-You hang out with me because nobody else can stand to be around you.
-Or maybe... did you ever think that deep down we really might be lesbos? Maybe that's why we spend so much time together.
-You're gross. See that guy?
-Which one?
-He gives me a total boner!
-You're just jealous.
-Yeah, right... Believe me, at this point I'm over the fact that every single guy likes you better than me!
-Face it, you hate every single boy on the face of the earth!
-That's not true, I just hate all these obnoxious, extroverted, pseudo- bohemian losers! Sometimes I think I act so weird because I'm crazy from sexual frustration.
-Haven't you heard about the miracle of masturbation?
-...maybe we should be lesbos...
-Are you kidding? It's a dream job! I can't believe you got a job like that without even trying... God, I wish that was my job...
-Yeah, maybe it'll be okay. At least I'll get to see every movie for free, I guess... I had to lie and tell them I already graduated...
-When are you finally going to get your diploma?
-I dunno, but next week is my last class...
-Anyway, now we can start looking for the apartment... Do you remember when we first came up with that whole idea of renting our own apartment?
-Wasn't it like eighth grade?
-Seventh... you wanted to move out right then!
-That must have been when my dad was married to Maxine...
-I remember our big plan was as soon as we got the apartment we were going to trick Daniel Dusentrieb into coming over and then fuck him.
-What are you talking about? What kind of loser gets fired after one day?!
-This is it? I can't believe you're selling some of this stuff.
-Fuck it. Everything must go!
-What was that all about? I thought everything must go!
-Now are you going to get a regular job?
-Don't worry.
-If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you could've gotten more than ten bucks for all this stuff.
-Do you want to do something tonight?
-I can't, it's Seymour's birthday... Shit! What time is it? I have to go to the store! I was going to make him a cake...
-Well, are we still going shopping tomorrow?
-I think one of us should fuck Josh...
-Go ahead...
-No, really...
-God, you're really obsessed...
-I am not -- I just think it'd be funny to see what he'd do...
-I thought we decided that Josh was way too cool to be interested in sex, and that he's the only decent person left in the world and we would never want to bring him down to our level and all that...
-Yeah, but maybe one of us should at least try...
-Look, we have to get these...
-I can't afford stuff like this right now.
-I'm sick of waiting - we need to start getting stuff if we're ever going to move. Aren't these the greatest towels?
-Why do you care about this kind of stuff?
-Don't you want nice stuff?
-I can't imagine spending money on towels.
-You don't have to. I'll pay for all the stuff right now and you can pay me back when you finally get a job.
-You're insane.
-Do you still want to go to that thing tonight?
-What thing?
-That guy's band is playing tonight... Alien Autopsy.
-Oh yeah... maybe... Seymour's going on his big date tonight and I kind of want to be around when he calls, so I can hear how bad it went.
-Hello?
-Do you still want to do something tonight?
-What happened to Seymour?
-I can't believe it - he actually scored!
-How repulsive!
-So should I come over?
-Actually, I'm just about to go out with some friends...
-What are you talking about? Who?
-Just some people from work...
-I don't believe you.
-Where are we? This is a weird neighborhood...
-It's a totally normal, average neighborhood!
-I just mean it's weird to me... I've never been anywhere near here in my life.
-Josh says this is a really good neighborhood...
-What? When did you see Josh?!
-He came into work.
-Why? What did he say?
-Nothing.
-When was this?
-Twenty-seven fifty-three... do you see it? That must be it...
-Great...
-What?! It looks totally normal... what's wrong with it?
-I said "great"...
-Oh yeah, I can tell you really love it!
-Well, what am I supposed to say? "I can't wait to live in some depressing shit-hole in the middle of nowhere"?!
-There's something wrong with every single place we look at! Why don't you just come right out and tell me you don't want to move in with me?!
-You're the psycho! You haven't been able to deal with anything since high school ended!
-You're the one who's still living out some stupid seventh-grade fantasy!
-Hello?
-I'm sorry about the other day. I don't know what's wrong with me... I really do want to move in with you.
-I don't know... I was thinking maybe I should live alone. I decided to rent that place we looked at. I'm moving in next week.
-Please let me come with you. Please please please...
-I don't know - I'm not sure it's a good idea.
-Of course it's a good idea... it's our plan.
-But how are you gonna pay rent and everything? You don't even have a job.
-So, whaddya think?
-It's fine.
-There.
-That's all you're bringing?
-I'm gonna finish packing tonight... I'll bring it over tomorrow sometime.
-What time?
-I dunno...
-Hi.
-Oh, hi... I almost didn't recognize you -- I think I need to get glasses; you're all blurry!
-You're lucky then, you can't see the veins on that guy's biceps.
-Do you want anything?
-Wow... finally.
-What about me? Am I not even here?
-We're not.
-Really? Both of you?... Why not?
-What are you going to be when you grow up, Todd?
-Well I'm going to major in Business Administration and, I think, minor in Communications.
-Oh my God, you guys! I can't believe we made it!
-Yeah, we graduated high school -- how totally amazing.
-So what are you guys doing this Summer?
-Nothing.
-I'm going to be in this actor's workshop, and I'm hoping to start going on auditions soon. I'm so excited to finally have some free time. We have to get together this summer!
-Oh yeah, that'll definitely happen...
-Oh my god, what are you guys doing here?
-What are you doing here, Melorra?
-My acting workshop is across the street from here. I'm just on my break.
-Well, we won't keep you.
-It's really quite something to see you all grown up like this, Enid. I'd love to hear about what you're doing. I can't help but feel that I had some small part in how you turned out... What are you studying? You were always such a smart little girl.
-May I ask what you're doing?
-Shhh!
-I want to know what you think you're doing, staying out all night and worrying your father to death!
-Oh yeah, like he even noticed.
-A what?
-A mongoose... they eat snakes... you never heard of a mongoose? That's a classic piece of vintage taxidermy. Nobody alive today knows how to do work like that.
-How much is this?
-Perhaps the "Jam-in-ator" appeals to you. Absolutely no practice necessary. You shread like a giant. Just press a button.
-Do you have any other old records besides these?
-Seymour does.
-Who does?
-You still interested in that?
-I thought it wasn't for sale.
-I'm thinkin' maybe I could let it go...
-Don't mind me, I'll just be in my room.
-Didn't they tell you?
-Tell me what?
-Punk rock is over!
-I know it's over, asshole, I --
-If you really want to "fuck up the system" - you should go to business school -- that's what I'm gonna do: get a job at some big corporation and fuck things up from the inside!
-That's not even --
-Oh, how "punk."
-That tape sucked, by the way!
-Go die, asshole!
-Hi... what's your name?
-Norman.
-...are you waiting for a bus?
-Yes.
-I hate to tell you this but they cancelled this bus line two years ago... There are no buses on this street.
-Well, if it isn't Enid and Rebecca, the little Jewish girl and her Aryan friend.
-You're late, asshole.
-Fine, and how are you?
-You never paid me for that tape with the Indian dance routine.
-I did too!
-Tsk! You Jews are so clever with money...
-Thanks for the tape - I'll have to pay you later, I'm broke.
-Hey, where are you going?
-That's five hundred dollars.
-What?
-Five hundred.
-You're crazy -- it should be like two dollars!
-I was wearing that dress the day I lost my virginity.
-Well why do I care about that?
-Why do you even want it? It would look stupid on you.
-Do you have any old Indian records?
-Indian records?
-You know, like weird 1960's Indian rock n' roll music.
-Those are all 78s... Can you play 78s?
-There's some good stuff in here... do you like old music?
-Sure, I guess.
-Is this one any good?
-This track alone by Memphis Minnie is worth about $500 if you have the original 78. She was one of the greatest guitar players that ever lived, and a great singer and songwriter as well. I know the guy who owns the original and lent it for use on this reissue.
-How much is it?
-A dollar seventy-five.
-Yeah, it took a while before I got a chance to play it, but when I heard that song it was like --
-So you really liked it? Yeah, there's some really rare performances. You liked that Memphis Minnie, huh?
-Yeah, that's good too... the whole record was good, but that one song, "Devil Got My Woman" -- I mostly just keep playing that one over and over... Do you have any other records like that?
-The Skip James record? Yeah, that's a masterpiece. There are no other records like that! I actually have the original 78 of it in my collection. It's one of maybe five known copies.
-Wow!
-Do you want to see it? I can run upstairs and get it...
-Yeah, sure, I guess...
-Oops! I dropped it!
-NO!!!
-What was all that stuff about enlarged holes and tight cracks?
-I... I didn't think you would have any interest in this get together... I mean if you had told me you were coming I would have warned you -- it's not like a real party or anything.
-You're right about that. So this is your record collection?
-Oh God no. This is just junk I have for sale or trade. The record room is off-limits.
-Really? Can I see it?
-Wow! This is like my dream room! Are these all records!
-I have about fifteen hundred 78s at this point. I've tried to pare down my collection to the essential...
-God, look at this poster! I can't believe this room! You're the luckiest guy in the world! I'd kill to have stuff like this!
-Please... go ahead and kill me! This stuff doesn't make you happy, believe me.
-Oh, come on! What are you talking about?
-No you're not! You're a cool guy, Seymour.
-Yeah right... If I'm so cool, why haven't I had a girlfriend in four years? I can't even remember the last time a girl talked to me.
-I'm talking to you... I'll bet there are tons of women who would go out with you in a minute!
-Oh, right...
-No really... I guarantee I could get you a date in like two seconds...
-Good luck...
-I'm totally serious!
-Yeah, well...
-I mean it -- You leave everything to me -- I'm going to be your own personal dating service!
-I appreciate the offer but you really don't --
-Mark my words, by the end of this summer you'll be up to your neck in pussy!
-What about her? Would you go out with her?
-I don't know, what kind of question is that? I mean it's totally irrelevant because a girl like that would never be caught dead with me...
-But putting that aside for now, would you go out with her?
-Okay, what about this one? Are you into girls with big tits?
-Jesus!
-C'mon Seymour, I'm trying to collect data here! Don't you want me to find you your perfect dream girl?
-I'm just not one of those guys who has a "type"...
-Every guy has a type!
-We need to narrow this down somehow... we need to find a place where you can meet women who share your interests.
-Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests! Where can I go to meet the exact opposite of myself?
-Yeah yeah yeah... Just tell me your five main interests, in order of importance.
-Well, let's see... I guess I'd have to put Traditional Jazz, Blues, and Ragtime music at the top of the list, then probably...
-So is that your boyfriend?
-Josh? He's nobody's boyfriend... He's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.
-Well are --
-Yeah, sure... very funny....
-Please, Seymour... Becky and I have been dying to go in here but we can't get any boys to take us... Please?
-I - I'd really rather not...
-We'll just go in for one minute -- it'll be a riot!
-I don't think so...
-PLEASE? We have to!
-I really don't think it's a good idea.
-Wow! Look at all these creeps!
-Shh!
-Look at this -- "Lollipop Lolitas" - isn't child pornography totally illegal?
-Uh, I don't have much money with me right now.
-Relax, Seymour, relax...
-So, why did you bring this along?
-I brought it for him to autograph. He's going to be amazed to see it - it's one of two known copies... I can't believe they have him for the opening act and not the headliner. What an insult!
-This bar's going to be packed with girls for you to pick from.
-What are we, in slow motion here?! What are ya, hypnotized? Have some more kids, why don't you?... For Christ's sake, would you move!?
-Yes, that would certainly do...
-Well, offer her a seat! You want me to do it?
-Wait a minute! Hang on! Jesus, I gotta think of something to talk to her about. No! No...
-What did you tell that girl?
-I told her you were a big record executive and you were thinking of signing that band to your label.
-Jesus...
-Now I remember why I haven't gone anywhere in months. I'm not even in the same universe as those creatures back there. I might as well be from another planet.
-We just need to figure out a place where you can meet somebody who isn't a total idiot, that's all.
-Look, I really appreciate your help, Enid, but let's face it, this is hopeless.
-It's not hopeless...
-Yeah, well it's simple for everybody else - give 'em a Big Mac and a pair of Nikes and they're happy! I just can't relate to 99.9% of humanity.
-Yeah, well, I can't relate to humanity either, but I don't think it's totally hopeless...
-But it's not totally hopeless for you... I've had it. I don't even have the energy to try anymore. You should make sure you do the exact opposite of everything I do so you don't end up like me...
-I'd rather end up like you than those people at that stupid bar... At least you're an interesting person... at least you're not exactly like everybody else...
-I'm not sure I have anything to drink... there might be some --
-It doesn't matter, I'm not staying long... I just want to make sure I convince you not to give up yet.
-Wow, this is so cool...
-If you don't mind my asking -- why do you care so much if I get a date or not?
-What the fuck, Seymour?! What is this?
-What?... Oh that... I borrowed that from work about fifteen years ago... I guess it's mine now.
-What, are you a klansman or something?
-Yeah, right, I'm a klansman - thanks a lot!... Do you know the Cook's Chicken franchise?
-"Four-piece Cook's special deep fried with side n' slaw it's OUT RAY-GEOUS"!
-Actually, I was a whole lot more interested in the Cook's phenomenon when I was about your age. I've kind of lost interest since I've been working for them...
-You work at Cook's Chicken?
-For nineteen years...
-What are you, a fry cook or something?
-Nothing so glamorous... actually, I'm an assistant manager at their corporate headquarters.
-Jesus, I'd go nuts if I had to work in an office all day.
-Hey, I get good benefits, a good early retirement plan, nobody ever bothers me...
-Yeah, but still...
-So, I don't really get it -- are you saying that things were better back then even though there was stuff like this?
-No, in a lot of ways things are better now... I dunno... it's complicated. Everybody still hates each other, but they know how to hide it better, or something...
-Hey, can I borrow this?
-What? Why?
-I promise I'll take good care of it.
-I dunno... they're very sensitive at work about all this stuff. Maybe it would be better if you --
-You can open your eyes now.
-Oh... uh, thanks a lot Enid... I really appreciate it...
-Arrrghhh! Ah Jeez... Christ...
-Are you okay?
-What is that?
-Oh... uh... It's just this elastic thing I have to wear for lumbar support...
-What, like a girdle?
-Maybe now you understand why I can't get a date.
-Yeah, well, you're not the only one. Everybody I know has totally fucked up problems... It seems like only stupid people have good relationships...
-That's the spirit!
-I mean, I'm eighteen years old and I've never even had a real, steady boyfriend for more than like two weeks!
-Really?
-Never...
-I'm starting to think that even if I did get a girlfriend it really wouldn't change anything.
-I know. It's not like it makes all your problems go away.
-Then again, that's easy for me to say, since I'll never even get a date. I'm sure you have hundreds of guys who are interested in you.
-Actually, I've got a total crush on this one guy right now, but it's a really fucked-up situation...
-Oh yeah?
-Oh wait, you met him... remember that guy Josh? I'm like practically obsessed with him, but I can't do anything about it because Becky would freak out.
-Why?
-Never mind, it's way too complicated... Did you have problems like this when you were my age - where you're totally confused all the time?
-I wonder if you really like all these old records or if you only like the fact that nobody else likes them?
-Aren't you going to get that?
-Wow! What was that all about?
-It's just somebody's idea of a joke...
-That didn't sound like a joke to me... what, did you write a personal ad or something?
-Uh yeah. A long time ago... she called before once... it's just somebody trying to humiliate me.
-Seymour! I promise you that wasn't a joke -- you have to call her back!
-How can you be so sure?
-Uh... hello?
-Hi, it's me...
-Oh, hi...
-So, what happened?
-Actually, it's kind of still happening... she's over here right now... I think everything's going pretty well...
-What? You're kidding me...
-Yeah, so I better go -- it's not really the best time to talk...
-What, are you going to like have sex with her on your first date?
-Boo!
-Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you... I've been wandering the streets day and night trying to find you...
-Really?
-No, actually Joe told me you were here... so how come you never call me anymore?
-I know, I'm sorry... I-I've been really busy...
-Yeah, I'll bet! So, how's it going with what's-her-name? Dana?
-Oh... pretty well, surprisingly... you know...
-So, what kind of stuff do you guys do together? Is she into old records and stuff?
-Sort of... she doesn't dislike any of that stuff... she's trying, anyway... actually, we're supposed to go antique shopping for her apartment this afternoon...
-We really should get together sometime soon... I-I'll definitely call you this week --
-What, are you trying to get rid of me?
-No... no, it's just that I should get going in a few minutes, and --
-Aren't you even going to ask me how I'm doing?
-I-I'm sorry... uh so... uh... how --
-I dunno... okay, I guess... I fucked that guy Josh finally...
-...so... is he your boyfriend now?
-I'm going to this stupid art show and I want you to be my date... There's something I have to show you...
-I... I don't know. I don't really think I should...
-Of course you should. C'mon, I'm already a million hours late.
-...I better not...
-Well forget the art show... let's do something else.
-I... I wish I could, Enid, but I really can't right now... I -- it's just that I --
-Well when can we do something?
-Oh, uh... they were a present from Dana.
-And you like them?
-Well, you know... what do I know about clothes... I've never been the most fashionable guy -- it's nice to have someone do all the work for me...
-So that's it? You don't ever want to see me again?
-No, of course I do... It's just that right now I need to --
-What's her problem anyway? Did she actually tell you you couldn't see me?
-No, no... not exactly... she just doesn't understand how I would know somebody like you...
-What does she mean by that - "somebody like me"?
-Just someone so young...
-You must have done something to make her think you like me.
-I... I don't think so.
-Does that mean you don't like me?
-No, of course not.
-So, do you like me, Seymour?
-In what way do you mean?
-In whatever way you think I mean.
-I don't know... I'm sorry, but Dana's a very jealous person. I just don't want to screw that up right now... I'm sure she'll dump me soon and we can go back to being friends...
-I don't think you understand how I really feel about you, Seymour.
-...What do you mean?
-What are you doing here?
-I had to see you.
-What's up?
-Can you at least let me in?
-Uh... sure... come in.
-Look, I just need somebody to be nice to me for five minutes and then I'll leave you alone.
-What's the matter?
-Uh... I think there's some root beer...
-That's Dana's - I'm supposed to be saving it for our two-month anniversary. You better not --
-You need a bigger place - this is like a little kid's room.
-Where did you get this?
-Dana bought it when we went antique shopping. She said it didn't go with her stuff, so she gave it to me... she thought it fit in better with my "old time thingamajigs."
-God, she's going to kill me... this bottle is half-empty!
-That's great! "Half-empty" - that's what I like about you, Seymour, you're a natural pessimist!
-If you expect the worst, you're never disappointed.
-What are you talking about? You're disappointed every minute of your life.
-I'm just being realistic.
-At least you're not like every other stupid guy in the world - all they care about are guitars and sports... they're all such fags!
-I hate sports.
-How come in all that time I was trying to get you a date, you never asked me out?
-You're a beautiful young girl... I can't imagine you would ever have had any interest in me, except as an amusingly cranky eccentric curiosity.
-Yeah, but still... it's kind of insulting for a girl to be ignored like that.
-I mean... of course I... why wouldn't I want to go out with you?
-I dunno... I always feel like everybody secretly hates me. I'm just paranoid I guess. I mean, you like me don't you? We're good friends, right?
-Yeah, sure. Of course.
-...Maybe I should just move in here with you... I could do all the cooking and dust your record collection and stuff until I get a job.
-What about Joe?
-Oh yeah... and Dana... You were a lot more fun before you met Dana. You've been acting way too normal lately... you're a bitter, twisted, fucked-up guy, Seymour, that's why I like you.
-You know what my number one fantasy used to be?
-What?
-I used to think about one day not telling anybody and just taking off and going to some random place... Do you ever think about stuff like that?
-I guess I probably used to when I was your age.
-It would have to be some totally average day when nobody was expecting it, and I'd just disappear and they'd never see me again.
-Sounds like a healthy way to deal with your problems.
-You know what we should do? Let's go get in your car right now and just take off! We could just drive away and find some new place and start a whole new life... fuck everybody!
-I don't think I'm in any condition to drive.
-I'll drive, then -- we'll go out in a blaze of glory!
-So where would we go?
-Who cares? Let's just go... what's stopping us?
-I dunno, I...
-I'm serious! I'm just so sick of everybody! Why can't I just do whatever I want?
-What do you want?
-What do you want?
-I-I-I...
-God, Dana's going to kill you!
-...Do you really want us to drive away somewhere?
-What?... Maybe... no... I dunno...
-I will if you want to.
-No... forget it...
-I-I never expected anything like this to happen...
-Yeah, well... me neither...
-You must know I always... did you really mean all that about moving in with me?
-I was just thinking out loud... I mean, you've got this whole thing with Dana -- I'm not going to let you fuck that up...
-But, I...
-I really want to talk to you. I've been thinking about what you said about moving in here...
-So what's the story with the two cheerleaders over here?
-They're Seymour's.
-Seymour? You gotta be kidding me!
-Don't worry about it. He's not gettin' any and neither are you.
-Let me tell ya somethin', Joe... Listen to me, Joe... you can't hit a home run without swinging the bat!
-Well, here's where the fun never stops!
-Yeah, I'm really, really happy. Really having a good time.
-Where else am I ever going to find another girl who likes Geeshie Wiley records? She could at least have the decency to call me back.
-Maybe she's got another boyfriend.
-Yeah, well... thanks for cheering me up.
-Please Josh?
-So Josh, if this guy freaks out, will you protect us?
-I agree.
-Did you remember to pay the phone bill?
-Yeah.
-I think that Phillip and Enid can help us to see that there are-many different ways we can express ourselves. We can do things like these cartoons that are amusing as a sort of light entertainment or we can do work that is more serious in scope and feeling and that deals with issues; emotional, spiritual, political; of great importance. I hope that you
-I am.
-Talk to us about it...
-It's my response to the issue of a woman's right to choose... it's something I feel super-strongly about.
-What do we have here, Margaret?
-I can see that... now what can you tell us about it? First of all, what kind of sculpture is this?
-It's a "found object"... that's when an artist takes an ordinary object and places it in an artistic context and thus it becomes art.
-Very good. Now, what can you tell us about it in regard to your artistic intent?
-I guess I see the teacup as a symbol for womanhood, because of tea parties in the olden days, but instead of tea I was trying to kind of confront people with this... like...
-This shocking image of repressed femininity!
-Right, exactly!
-Uh... hi. Uh... Enid's stepmother told me I'd find her here?
-She's not at home?
-No... they said she was here...
-What the fuck is she doing?! She was supposed to be here three hours ago!
-Uh, do you mind if I wait? I really need to talk to her.
-Are you sure she wasn't there? Maybe she was just hiding from you.
-Why would she be hiding from me?
-I don't know... where is she, then?
-Maybe she's with Josh?
-Josh!? Why would she be with Josh?
-I don't know.
-Why? What did she tell you?
-She just mentioned him a few times and said that they had been dating - I thought maybe she was...
-What? Is she having some secret affair with Josh?
-I have no idea - I just want to...
-Why wouldn't she tell me? There's no way! She could never keep that to herself... you're crazy.
-Really, I don't know enough about it to...
-That slut!
-Why did you say she might be hiding from me? Did she say anything to you about me?
-Yeah, she thinks you're a dork.
-Did she say that?
-Look, what do you expect? Considering how we met you.
-What do you mean?
-On that pathetic fake blind date.
-What are you talking about?
-Didn't she ever tell you about that? God, she really is pathological...
-I have to admit, things have really started looking up for me since my life turned to shit.
-So tell me more about this job. What exactly will you be doing?
-Well, mostly archival research, cataloguing old records and writing liner notes for their CD reissues. It's really... I can't believe it.
-Remember what I said when we first started -- this little breakdown might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you!
-It doesn't pay very much, but I should be able to afford my own place in a few months... Do you think that's too soon? I'm really anxious to get my record collection out of storage...
-Thank you, doctor.
-Seymour?
-Yes?
-You were contracted to work-
--malaria epidemic; very sudden.
-Let me see the sick.
-Oh, you're a doctor now, too?
-There is no reason for fear.
--oh, sing a different song, Abdullah- -there's nothing wrong with your men so stop telling me there is-
--you do not call me a liar- you know nothing of their health- consider yourself fortunate I persuaded so many to stay- consider yourself fortunate I have decided to stay-
-He sees this chaos, he'll replace you all.
-He'll replace you, too- that's all you really care about.
-Morning, friend, glorious day.
-The next time will be as this time- The Devil has come to Tsavo-
--that's ridiculous talk and you can't seriously believe it-
-I wasn't and you know it and don't push it- just listen- we have a problem in Tsavo-
--at last you're right- we do- you are the problem in Tsavo-
-No hints, Samuel.
-You don't know all that has happened here- the Devil has come to Tsavo.
-I am a man of peace.
-Am I to take it you want to live?
-Most certainly. Absolutely. Yes.
-Excellent decision. Your name is Abdullah? I'm sure we'll meet again. Go and enjoy the splendid morning.
-Starting now, we attack them.
-How; we don't know where they are?
-John Henry Patterson, come in. I'm Robert Beaumont. Firm- I like that, tells me a lot about you- -now why don't you tell me about me? To get you started, many people find me handsome, with a wonderful smile. I'm sure you agree. Winning personality, heaps of charm?
-My wife is the game player in the family, sir.
--build the bridge over the Tsavo river. And be finished in four months time. Can you do that?
-I'm sure you've examined my record. So you know I've never yet been late on a bridge.
-You've never built in Africa.
-But I have in India- every country presents problems.
-You'll need your confidence, I promise you.
-I've got a reason far beyond confidence: my wife is having our firstborn in five months and I promised I'd be with her when the baby comes.
-Very moving, Patterson; I'm touched you confided in me. But I don't really give a shit about your upcoming litter. I've made you with this assignment- -don't make me break you.
-Pleasant journey?
-Lovely sound- they seem happy.
-Don't they, though?
-Truthfully? There has been the occasional odd hiccup- but then, as you so wisely told me, I'd never built in Africa.
-I do need to see Starling.
-Starling?
-Awhile back he ordered some bibles- -I've brought them. Is he here?
-Yes he is.
-It's what the natives are calling the lions- -two lions have been causing trouble-
--what's the surprise in that, this is Africa?
-It hasn't been that simple so far.
-This is supposed to be salvation? What kind of idiocy are we dealing with here?
-In that half will be bait- human bait- I'll start things off- -a sliding door will fit above that and a trip wire will run across the floor.
-Are you running a high fever, man? How could you expect something as lunatic as this to succeed? How could you even conceive of it?
-I didn't conceive of it for the lions- I built one in India when there was trouble with a tiger.
-And it worked?
-What?
-I made a mistake hiring you- you're simply not up to the job.
-Let me explain about time- you've been here three months and already two months behind. And the Germans and the French are gearing up. And I don't care about you and I don't care about the thirty dead- I care about my knighthood and if this railroad finishes on schedule, I'll get my knighthood and I want it. Professional hunters may be the answer.
-All they'll bring is more chaos and we've plenty of that already- and if they come in, word will get out- and what happens to your knighthood then?
-I'm going to try and locate Redbeard- I assume you've heard of him.
-Every man who's ever fired a rifle has heard of him- by the time you find him, the lions will be dead.
-Understand, I had help-
-This sham? Ridiculous. Who needs it? It's only being built to control the ivory trade, make men richer.
-Then why do you stay?
-I know it's your first day and of course you must be tired from the journey- -but what are you going to do about it?
-You're certain about tomorrow? But you don't seem excited.
-You don't enjoy killing, do you?
-I'm David Hawthorne, this is my hospital. And my advice to you is, "don't get sick in front of it." That was meant to be charming, sorry. I seem to have lost the knack.
-You never had it.
-A man-eater attacks and you're such a buffoon you almost forget to mention it?
--then he feasted on him, starting with his feet-
--please- you needn't be so graphic-
-That's a terrible idea-
--is it, I'm sorry, but then, of course, you're the doctor, you should know.
-Silliest thing I ever heard of- why in the world should we go through all that?
-I suppose I could answer you. I suppose I could explain that the place is so inviting, what with the smell of blood and flesh, that they have to strike. It's even possible that I tell you I found some fresh paw marks around back which means they're already contemplating feasting here. But I don't want to answer you because when you question me
-I have been desperate for Patterson to let me move the hospital since the day he arrived.
-I tried to be late, John- it would have been easier if you'd gone.
-We're not much good at goodbyes, Helena.
-Tell me about Beaumont- does he understand how brilliant you are, how lucky he is to have you?
-Oh dear- -you're geting that downtrodden look again-
--well, it's just... ...other men don't abandon their wives at such a time-
--oh please- if I'd been against your taking this, you would have abandoned me. You've been desperate to see Africa your whole life.
-What if there are complications?-
-Go, now. Such a gentleman.
-Very good indeed.
-We have hunted since childhood.
-All right- you'll spend your nights inside. You'll have plenty of ammunition. You're totally protected, you have really nothing to fear.
-Not once?- you didn't hit it once?-
--I would never make excuses- but a fire broke out- the light was bad- he kept moving-
--well, of course he kept moving- but he couldn't have been more than ten feet away from the three of you- surely you must have wounded the thing-
-Many thanks. You're Patterson, yes? Nigel Starling- I'll be assisting you at Tsavo- but surely Beaumont must have told you that.
-He just gave me his "monster" speech.
-Don't much like them.
-Anything special about them?
-Just that they fart through their mouths. Must make kissing something of a gamble.
-I've lived in Africa a year and I don't know what you know. How long have you been here?
-Every time I see something like that, I know we're right to be here- to bring Christianity into their lives, enrich their souls.
-Beaumont says it's to end slavery.
-We all have our reasons. Mine is simply to make them understand happiness, accept salvation, know the serenity that comes- -best I stop. One of the by-products of my belief is that I can become amazingly boring. But I know God smiles on me.
-Samuel is camp liaison- absolutely indispensable- the only man here everyone trusts.
-Excellent. Could I see the bridge site?
-Finish your tour?
-And anxious to get started. What is this, mostly malaria?
-I couldn't believe it when you said "sort it out." As if it were the most normal thing in the world. "Ho-hum, what lovely tea, I think I'll bag a killer beast this evening, nothing much else going on anyway."
-You said "of course" you'd need the donkey. Why "of course"?
-I don't suppose I could watch.
-Might be exciting for you.
-I've never been all that adventurous. I wouldn't be in the way?
-I'd love the company. And I've hunted all my life.
-I hate to be a bother, John, but the cramp's getting worse. The pain is actually quite unbearable now.
-Shhh.
-I'm sure you mean that to be comforting, but-
--you'll have to deal with it, Nigel.
-John? I know this isn't the time to ask, but-
-What?
-Since you'd only been here three hours when we met, are you sure this is how you hunt lions?
-...one shot...
-With much more on the way- -John- we could have had this chat on flatter ground-
-How lucky we are.
-Aren't we full of ourselves today? I think it's because of the lion.
-All right- thee second embankment will go there.
-You do plan to mark it a bit more precisely than just- -"there."
-In your honor, Nigel. And you and Singh will be in charge of building them- and you'll also build the roadbeds and the three foundation pillars- and you'll be finished in eight thrilling weeks.
-John, it will not be easy.
-I'll try- but this feels so different- that old lion I killed could never carry off a man Singh's size.
-But you said they were always old.
-Second death? Where?-
--far end of camp- man wandering alone at night. Hawthorne's examining the body now. There's even less of him than of Singh.
-What a good week.
-You mean nobody died?
-I didn't have a chance to thank you.
-What did I do?
-Got me out of trouble.
-Nonsense- Samuel would have done something.
-We need to talk.
-Let me save time- you are the engineer; you are in charge; you're sorry I'm here. Right so far? Good- because I am not an engineer, I don't want to be in charge, and I'm sorrier than you are that I'm here- I hate Tsavo. So I will help you by killing the lions and leaving, and you will help me by doing what
-Actually, no.
-All right- let's go into battle. I'm Redbeard.
-I don't really. But understand something- even though it may take me two or three days to sort this out- -when I'm gone, you'll still have to build the bridge. And I don't want the men to have lost respect for you.
-That's very considerate.
-Have you got it?
-The best way to ensure the kill when you're using trackers is for one to shoot while the other uses the trackers to force the lion toward the shooter. Have you ever led trackers?
-I can try.
-Samuel says you killed a lion.
-It was probably luck- I'd rather you did the shooting.
-...misfire... it jammed...
-Has it ever done that before?
-Think about something else.
-Have you ever failed?
-Goddammit!
-Meant to ask you- the railroad car trap. Your idea? Excellent notion- I used the same device myself once.
-But of course yours worked.
-It would have been a beautiful bridge, John. I never noticed before, occupied with other business, I suppose... ...never really pay much attention to that kind of thing but I've had the time today, nothing else on, and this... it's graceful and the placement couldn't be prettier... and...
-In my town, when I was little, there was a brute, a bully who terrorized the place. But he was not the problem. He had a brother who was worse than he. But the brother was not the problem. One or the other of them was usually in jail. The problem came when they were both free togther. The two became different from either
-What happened to them?
-Their den? Have you ever seen anything like this?
-Where could it have gone? How could it get across the water? They're only lions, yes?
-They're used to people in trees, not in a clearing. It may be tight.
-Not for me- I'm too bulky and it's your idea, you go up there. Take the others to the water tower for the night.
-I'll be bait alone?
-Yes. And I'll be in some distant tree where I can provide no assistance whatsoever. Can you control your fear?
-I'll have to.
-I can't control mine- I'd be lost without the shame factor driving me.
-It's certainly the best chance they've had to kill you.
-You think they'll come then? Why?
-Good luck.
-Why?
-How many do you think they've killed?
-I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad you came.
-Understood- you realize now you could never have done it without me.
-Why do the workers look unhappy?
-It's all wonderfully under control, Samuel- you've done a splendid job.
-Thank you. The truth is this: you have to work at it constantly.
-The workers don't get on?
-Did it look like this in your mind?
-I am also liaison between these two.
-What are they looking at?
-You- they cannot believe you're still here.
-Nonsense.
-We should construct thorn fences around every tent area. Fires burning at night.
-Oh yes, I think so.
-For you.
-Thank you, Samuel.
-Good news?
-I expect so- it's from my wife.
-Do you love her?
-I do, actually; very much.
-Soon.
-You like him, don't you?
-Oh yes. But it takes time.
-You've known him long?
-Thank you. Why does he need you by him?
-Three years I've worked for the railroad. Now I don't know why. It seemed a good idea once.
-He has children?
-Where is it?
-Afraid of lions.
-Why do you laugh?- you don't believe she taught me?
-How many cattle?
-Four should do it.
-Why so many?
-Did you ever see a lion that size?
-Gentlemen, there's no sickness smell at all here, and little blood. When we leave, close the gate securely, don't open it til morning and keep your fires high. Any questions, ask them now. You two will sleep beautifully in your tents. And stay there.
-And where will you sleep beautifully?
-Where do you go next?
-Some Russian princes want to hunt the Himalayas. You?
-My life was shaped because someone invented gunpowder. Our lives have crossed because two lions went mad. But what if in the future the three of us do something grand for humanity? Was that worth all the lives? Too soon to tell.
-Some mysteries should not have solutions.
-Oh, yes, I got in a little late this morning, Janosz.
-You know, you are really doing very good work here. I think soon you may be ready to assist me in some of the more important restorations.
-We'll be very sorry to lose you. Perhaps I could take you to lunch today?
-Every day I ask you, and every day you've got something else to do. Do I have bad breath or something?
-I'm sorry. Perhaps some other time.
-Janosz?
-Do you need anything? You want me to come in?
-No, everything's fine. Honestly. Thanks anyway.
-Okay, just thought I'd check. Good night, Dana. Sleep well. Don't let the bedbugs bite you.
-Dana, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?
-What do you want with my baby?
-No harm will come to the child. You might even say it's a privilege. He will be the vessel for the spirit of Vigo. And you -- well, you will be the mother of the ruler of the world. Doesn't that sound nice?
-If this is what the world will be like, I don't want to live in it.
-I don't believe we have the luxury of choice.
-Everybody has a choice.
-Not in this case, my dear. Take a look. That's not Gainsborough's Blue Boy up there. He's Vigo!
-Time is running out, Dana. Soon it will be midnight and the city will be mine -- and Vigo's. Well, mainly Vigo's. But we have a spectacular opportunity to make the best of our relationship.
-We don't have a relationship.
-I know. Marry me, Dana, and together we will raise Vigo as our son. There are many perks that come with being the mother of a living god. I'm sure he will supply for us a magnificent apartment. And perhaps a car and free parking.
-I hate and despise you and everything you stand for with all my heart and soul. I could never forgive what you've done to me and my child.
-Many marriages begin with a certain amount of distance, but after a while I believe we could learn to love each other. Think about it.
-Hundreds of people. Believe me, I didn't imagine this.
-What are you working on, Egon?
-We'll do the happiness index next. I'd like to bring Ray in on your case, if it's all right with you.
-Okay, whatever you think -- but not Venkman.
-Oh no.
-Do you ever see him?
-Occasionally
-How is he these days?
-Venkman? I think he was borderline for a while there. Then he crossed the border.
-Does he ever mention me?
-This is my address and telephone number. Will you call me?
-Certainly.
-Egon, I'd rather you didn't mention any of this to Peter if you don't mind.
-I won't.
-Frank, do you think you could give me a hand with these bags?
-I'm not a doorman, Miss Barrett. I'm a building superintendent.
-You're also a human being, Frank.
-Okay, okay. It's not my job, but what the hell. I'll do you a favor. He takes the grocery bags from her.
-Hiya, Oscar. What do you say, slugger?
-That's a good-looking kid you got there, Ms. Barrett.
-Thank you, Frank. Oh, are you ever going to fix the radiator in my bedroom? I asked you last week.
-No, you didn't, Frank.
-Okay, that's no problem.
-Hello, Peter.
-You know, Dana, I'm very very hurt that you didn't call me first. I'm still into all this stuff, you know. Haven't you ever seen my show?
-I have. That's why I didn't call you first.
-So what happened to Mr. Right? I hear he ditched you and the kid and moved to Europe.
-He didn't "ditch" me. We had some problems, he got a good offer from an orchestra in England and he took it.
-He ditched you. You should've married me, you know.
-You never asked me, and every time I brought it up you'd get drowsy and fall asleep.
-Men are very sensitive, you know. We need to feel loved and desired, too.
-Well, when you started introducing me as "the old ball and chain," that's when I left.
-What do you think?
-There's no doubt about it. He's got his father's looks. The kid is ugly -- extremely ugly. And smelly. You stink! It's just horrible. You are the stinkiest baby I ever smelled. What's his name?
-His name is Oscar.
-Oscar! You poor kid!
-Peter, this is serious. I need to know if you think there's anything unusual about him.
-I'll do it.
-Brings back a lot of sweet memories, doesn't it? There's our old cash machine. And the dry cleaners we used to go to. And the old video store. We really had some good times, didn't we?
-That's where the buggy stopped.
-I wish I could stay. I feel personally responsible for you being here.
-You are personally responsible. If I can get conjugal rights, will you visit me at Sing Sing?
-Please don't say that. You won't go to prison.
-Don't worry about me. I'm like a cat.
-You mean you cough up hairballs all over the rug?
-I'm El Gato. I always land on my feet.
-Good luck.
-So this is what you do, huh?
-Oh, hello, Peter.
-You're really good, you know.
-I'm sure you didn't come here just to talk about art.
-He was also a lunatic and a genocidal madman. I hate this painting. I've felt very uncomfortable since they brought it up from storage.
-I may be wrong, but I think you've got a little crush on this guy.
-Good-bye, Peter.
-I'm sorry. Were you on your way out?
-No, I just got in -- a couple hours ago. Come on in. Are we having a pajama party?
-You know, if anyone else told me that, I'd have serious doubts. But coming from you, I can't honestly say I'm surprised.
-I must be losing my mind. At the museum today I could have sworn that terrible painting of Vigo looked right at me.
-Who could blame him? Were you wearing this nightgown?
-I don't know what to do anymore.
-This is Joe Namath's old number, you know. You could get a lot of chicks with this. Just don't pee in it.
-Peter, what about the bathtub?
-We'll take care of that. Ray, Pete. Listen, get over to Dana's right away ... Her bathtub pulled a fast one -- tried to eat the kid.
-It was full of this awful pink ooze.
-Bathroom's right here -- let me just tidy up a few things.
-Be careful on that sofa -- it's a butt-biter. But the bed's good and I just changed the sheets so if you get tired, feel free. In fact, I think you should definitely plan on spending the night here.
-Really? And how would we handle the sleeping arrangements?
-For me it's best if I sleep on my side and you spoon up right behind me with your arms around me. If we go the other way I'm afraid your hair will be getting in my face all night.
-How about you on the sofa and me in bed with the baby.
-Or we could do that.
-Thank you. Poor baby. I think I should put him down now.
-Are you all squeaky clean now?
-They didn't find anything? In the bathtub ... the pink ooze ... nothing? So, what do I do now?
-Now you get dressed and we go out. I got a babysitter and everything. Trust me, you need it.
-I'm not here to date. I can't leave Oscar in a strange place with someone I don't know.
-It's Janine Melnitz, from my staff. She's one of my most valuable employees.
-Does she know anything about babies?
-Janine Melnitz, are you kidding? Do I have a vase? I brought some of your clothes. Wear something intriguing. I brought along some interesting possibilities.
-Did you happen to see some shirts on the floor in here?
-I put them in your hamper. I thought they were dirty.
-So -- are you making any New Year's resolutions?
-I want to stop getting involved with men who aren't good for me.
-Does that start exactly at midnight tomorrow, or could you hold off for a few days maybe?
-For one night in your life, do you think it's possible for us to be completely real?
-All right, you want to be real? So tell me why did you dump me?
-Oh, Peter, I didn't dump you. I just had to protect myself. You really weren't very good for me, you know.
-I'm not even good for me.
-Why do you say things like that? You're so much better than you know.
-Thank you. If I had that kind of support on a daily basis, I could definitely shape up by the turn of the century.
-So why don't you give me a jingle in the year 2000?
-Maybe I should call Janine.
-I think he likes you. I think I do too.
-That's not true. It was 1620.
-That's a terrible thing to say.
-Hi, Ray. It's good to see you. Thanks for coming.
-No problem. Always glad to help -- and hug.
-Is this the spot?
-I think we hit the honeypot, boys. There's something brewing under the street.
-Sorry!
-According to my sources, the world will end on February 14, in the year 2016.
-Valentine's Day. That's got to be a bummer. Where did you get that date, Elaine?
-I received this information from an alien. I was at the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink in the bar when he approached me and started talking. Then he must have used some sort of ray or a mind control device because he made me follow him to his room and that's where he told me about the end of the world.
-Your alien had a room in the Holiday Inn?
-It may have been a room on the spacecraft made up to look like a room in the Holiday Inn. I can't be sure, Peter.
-Can I help you?
-I'm Jack Hardemeyer. I'm the mayor's assistant. What can I do for you?
-I'm an old friend of the mayor's. I just want to say hello to him.
-I know who you are, Doctor Venkman. Busting any ghosts lately?
-No, that's what I want to talk to the mayor about. We did a little job for the city a while back and we ended up getting sued, screwed and tattooed by deskworms like you.
-That's quite a story.
-Before you go running to the newspapers with this, would you consider telling this slime thing to some people downtown?
-Look, I've had it with you. Get your stuff together, get back in that clown car and get out of here. This is a city matter and everything's under control.
-What is it, honey?
-It's that darn ghost again! I don't know what to do anymore. He just won't leave us alone. I guess we'll just have to move.
-Who are you going to call?
-Oh migod! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. It was an accident.
-What are you doing up here?
-I was trying to get that smelly green thing. The guys asked me to help out. I'm like the fifth Ghostbuster.
-Why would you want to be a Ghostbuster if you're already an accountant?
-Have you made any plans yet? You know tomorrow is New Year's Eve.
-No, I celebrate at the beginning of my corporate tax year which is March first. That way I beat the crowds.
-Well, good night, Louis.
-Janine, do you feel like maybe getting something to eat on the way home?
-I'd like to, but I told Dr. Venkman I'd babysit. Do you want to babysit with me?
-I can't believe a person could actually live like this.
-So these dwarfs had a limited partnership in a small mining operation and then one day a beautiful princess came to live with them.
-It's really not a bad place. It just needs a woman's touch.
-You're really good with children, Louis. I can tell. Why don't you come here and sit with me?
-Motherhood is a very natural instinct for me. I'd like to have a baby myself. Wouldn't you?
-Should we go?
-I don't think we should leave her alone.
-I'm not sure this is such a good idea? Do they know you're doing this?
-Oh, yeah, sure -- no. But there's really not much to do here and they might need some back-up at the museum.
-Pleasure to meet you. I've seen you on television.
-It's a painting I'm restoring for the new Byzantine exhibition. It's a self-portrait of Prince Vigo, the Carpathian. He ruled most of Carpathia and Moldavia in the 17th Century.
-Too bad for the Moldavians.
-We don't go around altering valuable paintings, Dr. Venkman.
-I'll let you get back to it. Nice meeting you.
-Dr. Venkman? Dana is not here.
-I know.
-Then why have you come?
-You know, I never got to ask you. Where you from, Johnny?
-This is the one that looked at Dana.
-It must be the chemical fumes in the studio. People start imagining things --
-So you see, everything is in order, is it not?
-You pitiful, miserable creatures! You dare to challenge the power of darkness? Don't you realize what you are dealing with? He's Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him.
-I, Vigo, the scourge of Carpathia, the sorrow of Moldavia, command you.
-Command me, lord.
-I, Vigo, the scourge of Carpathia --
-Yes, the scourge --
--- the sorrow of Moldavia --
--- the sorrow --
-I command you.
-I await the word of Vigo.
-The season of evil begins with the birth of the new year. Bring me the child that I might live again.
-Lord Vigo, the mother, Dana, is fine and strong. I was wondering -- well, would it be possible -- if I bring the baby, could I have the woman?
-Keep that up, mister, and I'll find you in contempt.
-You've got to do something!
-Who are they?
-They're the Scoleri Brothers. I tried them for murder. They were electrocuted up at Ossining in '48. Now they want to kill me.
-These boys aren't playing around.
-The witness is leading him. Sustained.
-Sustained. Mr. Tully, do you have anything to ask this witness that may have some bearing on this case?
-Your honor, may I approach the bench?
-Can I have some of your water?
-Get on with it, counselor!
-That's it? That's all you have to say?
-Come on, Sherm. You're my cousin. Do this for me. I'm begging you.
-I can't do it, Louis. It isn't ethical. I could lose my license.
-Why can't you just have them released? You're a doctor.
-I'm a dermatologist. I can't write orders on the psych ward.
-Sherman, I've done lots of favors for you.
-Like what?
-I got you out of those bad tax shelters.
-You were the one who got me in.
-I fixed you up with Diane Troxler and she put out, didn't she?
-Yeah, I had to give her free dermabrasion for a year. Forget it, Louis. I could get in a lot of trouble.
-I'm telling you, we're all going to be in big trouble if we don't do something fast. That ghost guy came and took my friend's baby and we got to get it back. It's just a scared little baby, Sherm.
-This is my cousin Sherman. Sherm, say hello to the Ghostbusters. I promised him a ride in the car if he got you out.
-Hey! Wait! Okay, I'll meet you there.
-I thought you were like the fifth Ghostbuster.
-Hi, welcome back to the 'World of the Psychic,' I'm Peter Venkman and I'm chatting with my guest, author, lecturer and of course, psychic, Milton Anglund. Milt, your new book is called The End of the World. Isn't that kind of like writing about gum disease. Yes, it could happen, but do you think anybody wants to read a book about it?
-Well, I think it's important for people to know that the world is in danger.
-Okay, so can you tell us when it's going to happen or do we have to buy the book?
-I predict that the world will end at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.
-This year? That's cutting it a little close, isn't it? I mean, just from a sales point of view, the book just came out, right? So you're not even looking at the paperback release for maybe a year. And it's going to be at least another year after that if the thing has movie-of-the-week or mini-series potential. You would have been better off predicting
-This is not just some money-making scheme! I didn't just make up the date. I have a strong psychic belief that the world will end on New Year's Eve.
-Yes, I did. We were city champs.
-So, Dr. Venkman, please explain to the court why it is you and your co-defendants took it upon yourselves to dig a big hole in the middle of the street.
-I'll ask you again, Dr. Venkman. Why were you digging the hole? And please remember that you're under oath.
-I had my fingers crossed when they swore me in, but I'm going to tell you the truth. There are things in this world that go way beyond human understanding, things that can't be explained and that most people don't want to know about anyway. That's where we come in.
-So what are you saying? That the world of the supernatural is your special province?
-Egon!
-Hello, Venkman.
-How've you been? How's teaching? I bet those science chicks really dig that big cranium of yours, huh?
-I think they're more interested in my epididymis.
-I'd like to have a stool specimen
-What now, Brainiac?
-I think we should see if we can find anything abnormal on the street.
-That's a thousand million electron volts.
-You were supposed to help me with this.
-"Vigo the Carpathian, born 1505, died 1610 --"
-That's it? "I'll be back?"
-You know, animals and lower life forms often anticipate major disasters. Given the new magnetheric readings we could see a tremendous breeding surge in the cockroach population.
-Boys, listen. You're scaring the straights. Let's save this until tomorrow, okay?
-It's working. The positive GeV's are climbing.
-So far so good.
-Pretty impressive, huh?
-It's probably the first thing my grandparents saw when they came to this country.
-From where -- Neptune?
-They came from Ostrov in Eastern Poland.
-Who was that?
-Some crank. Looking for goat hooves. Come up with anything?
-This one's interesting. Berlin, 1939, a flower cart took off by itself and rolled approximately half a kilometer over level ground. Three hundred eyewitnesses.
-You might want to check those Duke University mean averaging studies on controlled psychokinesis.
-Nothing. Not a trace.
-The New York Pneumatic Railway. It was an experimental subway system. Fan-forced air-trains, built around 1870.
-This is about as deep as you can go under Manhattan without digging your own hole.
-Seems like a pretty open-minded guy, huh?
-Hey, I didn't imagine it. There must have been ten thousand gallons of it down there.
-I'm Egon --
-No, not exactly a man of the people. "Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy."
-Six feet -- seven -- eight --
-That's it. It's on the bottom.
-If you two are looking for a fight, you got one. Who wants it first? Come on, Ray. Try me, sucker.
-It won't work. There's no way we could generate enough positive energy to crack that shell.
-I can't believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back. Sure, it's crowded, it's dirty, it's noisy. And there are too many people who'd just as soon step on your face as look at you. But there've got to be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out burg. We just have to mobilize it.
-Something that appeals to the best in each and every one of us --
-Don't shoot! You'll hit Ray!
-We've found it at every event site we've been to lately.
-There's definitely something going on in that studio. The PKE levels were max-plus and the Giga-meter was showing all red.
-Is the line sinking?
-Rivers of the stuff!
-Late Renaissance, I think. Caravaggio or Brunelleschi.
-Oh, hello, perhaps you could help me. I'm looking for an aerosol love potion I could spray on a certain Penthouse Pet that would make her unconditionally submit to an unusual personal request.
-Oh, hiya, Pete.
-So, no goat hooves, huh?
-I knew that voice sounded familiar. What's up? How's it going?
-Nowhere -- fast. Why don't you lock up and buy me a sub?
-Great. So what are you guys working on?
-Oh, just checking something for an old friend.
-Who?
-Who? Just -- someone we know.
-Who? Who? Who?
-Aaah! Nobody! I can't tell you!
-Who, Ray?
-Well, Holmes, what do you think?
-What's that?
-I love this. We're onto something really big. I can smell it, Ray. We're going to make some headlines with this one.
-Hey, hey, hey, stresshound! Are you nuts? If anybody found out about this we'd be in serious trouble. The judge couldn't have been clearer - no ghostbusting.
-Geez, I forgot how heavy these things are.
-I'm Ray --
-Careful, Winston. He's a mean one. And to celebrate our grand reopening, we're giving you twice the value with our special half-price 'Welcome Back' service plan.
-Hold on, Ray! Half-price! Have you gone crazy?
-You know he ran that last lap in under six minutes?
-Oh good, you're here. Spengler and I have something really amazing to show you.
-And now you're going to eat it?
-This is what you do with your spare time?
-This is an incredible breakthrough, Venkman. A psychoreactive substance! Whatever this is, it clearly responds to human emotional states.
-Like a goat on garbage.
-We're running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive reaction.
-What kind of tests?
-Well, we sing to it, we talk to it, we say supportive, nurturing things --
-Did you find anything at Dana's?
-Beautiful, beautiful. Work with me, baby. Just have fun with it. Okay, he's playing it cool. Let's finish up and get out of here.
-What happened?
-Don't tell me, let me guess. All-you-can-eat barbecue rib night at the Sizzler?
-We're going down into the sewer system to see if we can trace the source of the psycho-reactive slime flow. We thought you might want to come along.
-I think we're going to have to pass on the sewer trip, boys. Let me know what you find out.
-You should've been there, Venkman. Absolutely incredible!
-Yeah, sorry I missed it. I guess you guys didn't know about the dress code here. It's really kind of a coat and tie place.
-It looks like a giant Jello mold.
-Forget it. The Vienna Boys Choir couldn't get through this stuff.
-I hope we have enough stuff to do the job.
-I'll keep to the middle of the channel. We're okay to 59th Street, then we'll go ashore and take First Avenue to 79th.
-I don't think they make Nikes in her size.
-My Fault!
-Vigi, Vigi, Vigi -- you have been a bad little monkey.
-I think she looks pretty good here, don't you?
-My great-grandparents were Swiss. I still have the pictures they took of the statue from the boat when they arrived.
-What's your story, Pete?
-Ready?
-I'm ready.
-That's it, Ray. I've had it. No more parties. I'm tired of taking abuse from over-privileged nine-year-olds.
-Give it up, Ray. You're living in the past. Ghostbusters doesn't exist anymore. In a year these kids won't even remember who we are.
-Ungrateful little Yuppie larvae. After all we did for this city.
-Yeah, what did we do, Ray? The last real job we had we bubbled up a hundred foot marshmallow man and blew the top three floors off an uptown highrise.
-Does it have any favorites?
-And he didn't die of old age either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered.
-You got a flux and a half.
-Now that's one ugly dude.
-Huh? What?
-You finished here?
-What? Yeah.
-Are you all right? You coming down with something?
-Are you telling me how to drive?
-No, I just thought --
-Are you all right?
-Nice going, Ray! What were you trying to do -- drown me?
-Look, Zeddemore, it wasn't my fault you were too stupid to drop that line.
-You better watch your mouth, man, or I'll punch your lights out.
-What are we doing? Ray, I was ready to kill you.
-She's moving!
-Ray -- Ray -- How do you feel, man?
-I don't care what you say. This could be a major Christmas gift item.
-Right, and the first time someone gets mad, their toaster will eat their hand.
-Tell him about the toaster.
-It better not start yet. I'm trying to finish my potholder before lunch.
-And pure --
-Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?
-Wonder what?
-How deep does it get? That water's cold and I can't swim.
-My people weren't taking any pictures from those slave ships, man. And there wasn't any Statue in Charleston Harbor to welcome them, either. What are you, Dana?
-Aren't you glad we waited?
-I don't know. It probably would've been the same.
-Roy? Your clock broke.
-Nice going, honey. It was brand new.
-Now where are you going?
-To the bathroom, where do you think?
-Hey, sweetheart, will you CUT THAT OUT!!!
-Uuuuuuugh!!
-Is it a star?
-Ready? What is it?
-Ummm -- figure eight?
-Incredible! Five for five. You're not cheating on me here, are you?
-No. They're just coming to me.
-Well, I guess some people have it and some don't.
-Do you think I have it, Dr. Venkman?
-Okay. Just give me a second here. I have to leave now but if you've got some time I'd like you to come back this evening and do some more work with me.
-Eight o'clock?
-Oh, Dana, it's you ...
-Hi, Louis.
-... I thought it was the drug store.
-Oh, no, I feel great. I just ordered some more vitamins. I see you were exercising. So was I. I taped "20 Minute Workout" and played it back at high speed so it only took ten minutes and I got a really good workout. You wanna have a mineral water with me?
-No thanks, Louis. I'm really tired. I've been rehearsing all morning.
-Okay. I'll take a raincheck. I always have plenty of mineral water and other nutritious health foods, but you know that. Listen, that reminds me, I'm having a party for all my clients. It's gonna be my fourth anniversary as an accountant. I know you fill out your own tax return, but I'd like you to come being that you're my next door neighbor
-Oh, that's nice, Louis. I'll stop by if I'm around.
-You know you shouldn't leave your TV on so loud when you go out. That creep down the hall phoned the manager.
-Oh, Dana, it's you.
-Hi, Louis.
-Hey, it's crazy in here. You're missing a classic party.
-Well, actually Louis I have a friend coming by.
-Great! Bring her, too. But you better hurry. I made nachos with non-fat cheese and they're almost gone. I'll make some more though.
-Fine, Louis. We'll stop in for a drink.
-Are you the Gatekeeper?
-Oh, sure. I'm getting used to this.
-I'm innocent! Honest, Dana. I never touched you. Not that I remember anyway.
-Hello. I'm Peter Venkman. May I help you?
-Yes ... well ... I'm not sure. What I have to say may sound a little ... unusual.
-We're all professionals here, Miss ...
-... and then I opened the door again but it was gone. There was nothing there.
-Why would anyone make up a thing like that?
-Is that your professional opinion?
-No, just that one word -- Zuul -- but I have no idea what it means.
-Have you ever thought of moving out -- at least until this disturbance blows over?
-You play the cello! It's my favorite instrument.
-Really? Do you have a favorite piece?
-I'd have to say Prokofiev's third concerto.
-That's a violin concerto.
-You really don't act like a scientist.
-No? What do I act like?
-Like a used car salesman.
-That's too bad.
-What?
-Uh-huh.
-Well, let's check it out.
-You're quite a housekeeper.
-I told you, I ...
-Damn!
-Are you all right?
-There's nothing there now and I don't get any significant readings.
-This is terrible. Either there's a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.
-If it's any comfort to you, I don't think you're crazy.
-Thanks. Coming from you that really means a lot to me.
-I'm a qualified psychologist. I've got a degree and everything. I believe that something happened here and I want to do something about it.
-All right. What do you want to do?
-I think I should spend the night here.
-That's it. Get out.
-On a purely scientific basis.
-Out!
-I want to help you.
-I'll scream.
-Don't scream.
-Then leave.
-Okay, okay. But if anything else happens, you have to promise you'll call me.
-All right.
-Okay. Then I'll go.
-Goodbye.
-Great rehearsal.
-You heard it?
-You're the best one in your row.
-Most people can't hear me with the whole orchestra playing. You're good.
-I don't have to take abuse from you. I have other people dying to give it to me.
-I know. You're quite a celebrity these days. Are you here because you have info ... about my case?
-Who's the stiff?
-The "stiff?" He happens to be one of the finest musicians in the world and a wonderful man.
-He is a very close friend. Do you have some explanation of what happened in my apartment?
-Yes, but I have to tell you in private at a fine restaurant.
-Can't you tell me now?
-I'll cancel the reservation, I found the name "Zuul" in ... The Roylance Guide to Secret Societies and Sects. I don't suppose you've read it.
-You must have gotten the last copy.
-Well, the name Zuul refers to a demi-god worshipped around 6000 B.C. by the ... What's that say?
-Hittites, the Mesopotamians and the Sumerians. "Zuul was the Minion of Gozer."
-"Gozer" -- he was very big in the Sumerian religion. One of their gods.
-What's he doing in my refrigerator.
-I'm checking on that. I think we should meet Thursday night at nine to talk about it.
-I don't think so. I'm busy Thursday night.
-You think I enjoy giving up my evenings to spend time with clients? I'm making an exception because I respect you as an artist and as a dresser.
-All right. Since you put it that way.
-I'll pick you up at your place. I'll bring along the Roylance Guide -- we can read after we eat.
-Hey, Dana. What is it? What happened?
-We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.
-Okay, I'll help you. Should we make some dip or something?
-He is the Destructor.
-Do you want this body?
-Well, I'll just use it for a while and get it right back to you.
-Actually, it's more of a policy than a rule.
-I want you inside me.
-I don't know. You've got two people in there already. It could get a little crowded. I want you to close your eyes and relax. Now I'm going to speak to Dana and I want Dana to answer.
-I am Zuul. I am ...
-Right ... You're the Gatekeeper. But I want Dana. Dana, speak to me ...
-There is no Dana. I am Zuul.
-Nothing! We just got rid of that thing in your kitchen.
-Really! Is it gone?
-Yeah, along with most of your furniture and a lot of your personal possessions. This one took some work.
-This is going to cost you, you know. Our fees are ridiculously high.
-I trust you're moving us to a better space somewhere on campus.
-No, we're moving you OFF CAMPUS. The Board of Regents has decided to terminate your grant. You are to vacate these premises immediately.
-This is preposterous! I demand an explanation.
-Fine. This University will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities.
-But why? The students love us!
-Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of "dodge" or "hustle." Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You're a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman, and you have no place in this department or in this University.
-That is one speedy mutt.
-He's a big one. You don't want to mess with that particular breed.
-Well, that definitely looks like marshmallow to me.
-Yeah, it's some kind of mallow-type substance - that's for sure.
-You have to wonder why anybody would dump a marshmallow that size right in the middle of the street.
-I wonder if there might not be a very large cup of hot chocolate somewhere in the area.
-Hello, I'm Roger Delacorte - the Head Librarian. Are you the men from the University?
-Yes. I'm Dr. Venkman and this is Dr. Stantz.
-Thank you for coming. I'd appreciate it if we could take care of this quickly and quietly.
-What's that got to do with it?
-Did you see it? What was it?
-You're very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
-Print is dead.
-That's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual. But I think reading is a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racketball. Do you ever play?
-Is that a game?
-It's a great game! You should play sometime. I bet you'd be good. You seem very athletic. Do you have any hobbies?
-I collect spores, molds and fungus.
-Oh, that's very - unusual.
-I think it's the food of the future.
-Egon, there's something very strange about that man. I'm very psychic usually and right now I have this terrible feeling that something awful is going to happen to you. I'm afraid you're going to die.
-Die in what sense?
-In the physical sense.
-I don't care. I see us as tiny parts of a vast organism, like two bacteria living on a rotting speck of dust floating in an infinite void.
-I want you to have this.
-What is it?
-It's a souvenir from the 1964 World's Fair at Flushing Meadow. It's my lucky coin.
-I don't believe in luck.
-Keep it anyway. I have another one at home.
-Why don't you step into the office and we'll talk about it. Hold all my calls, Janine.
-Here's the paper on the Brooklyn job. She paid with a Visa card.
-And someone from the EPA is here to see you.
-The EPA? What's he want?
-I didn't ask him. All I know is that I haven't had a break in two weeks and you promised you'd hire more help.
-Janine, I'm sure a woman with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top flight job in the housekeeping or food service industry.
-Thank you for coming so quickly. The guests are starting to ask questions and I'm running out of excuses.
-Has this ever happened before?
-Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor ... The disturbances, I mean ... But it's been quiet for years ... Up until two weeks ago ... It was never ever this bad, though.
-Did you ever report it to anyone?
-Heavens, no! The owners don't like us to even talk about it. I hoped we could take care of this quietly tonight.
-Can I help you?
-I'm Walter Peck. I represent the Environmental Protection Agency, Third District.
-Great! How's it going?
-Are you Peter Venkman?
-Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman?
-I have Ph.D's in psychology and parapsychology.
-I see. And now you catch ghosts?
-You could say that.
-And how many ghosts have you caught, Mr. Venkman?
-I'm not at liberty to say.
-And where do you put these ghosts once you catch them?
-In a storage facility.
-And would this storage facility be located on these premises?
-Yes, it would.
-And may I see this storage facility?
-No, you may not.
-And why not, Mr. Venkman?
-Because you didn't say the magic word.
-And what is the magic word, Mr. Venkman?
-May I please see the storage facility?
-Why do you want to see it?
-Well, because I'm curious. I want to know more about what you do here. Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess any possible environmental impact from your operation. For instance, the storage of noxious, possibly hazardous waste materials in your basement. Now either you show me what's down there or I come back with
-Go ahead! Get a court order. Then I'm gonna sue your ass off for wrongful prosecution.
-Have it your way, Mr. Venkman.
-At ease, Officers. I'm Peter Venkman. I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding here and I want to cooperate in every way I can.
-You turned off the power! Look, there was another man here ... You have to find him and bring him back. A short determined-looking guy with the eyes of a happy zombie.
-The man is a psychopath, Your Honor.
-Mr. Mayor, it's a pretty simple choice. You can believe Mr. Pecker here ...
-That's "Peck!"
-All right. What is it?
-A square?
-Circle?
-Nervous?
-Yes. I don't like this.
-Well, just 75 more to go. What's this one?
-Two wavy lines?
-Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this.
-You volunteered, didn't you? Aren't we paying you for this?
-Yeah, but I didn't know you were going to give me electric shocks. What are you trying to prove?
-I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.
-I'll tell you the effect! It pisses me off!
-Hey, Mister! Can I see those guns?
-They're not guns. They're particle throwers.
-Yeah, yeah. I just want to see 'em.
-Wait! Wait! Let me ask you something. If you like shot Superman with those guns, would he feel it or what?
-On Earth -- no. But on Krypton we could slice him up like Oscar Mayer Bologna.
-Yes?
-Were you recently in the bathroom?
-What on earth gave you that idea?
-The wet towels, residual moisture on your lower limbs and hair, the redness in your cheeks indicating ...
-You're a regular Sherlock Holmes. Now what do you want?
-Oh! You're here.
-What have you got, Egon?
-Oh, this is big, Peter. This is very big. There's definitely something here.
-Spengler, are you serious about actually catching a ghost?
-I'm always serious.
-Just for your information, Ray, the interest payments alone for the first five years come to over $75,000.
-Generally, you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. What do you think, Egon?
-Did you see anything?
-Something was definitely here.
-Wait! Wait! There's something I forgot to tell you.
-What?
-Don't cross the beams.
-Why not?
-Trust me. It will be bad.
-What do you mean "bad?"
-It's Peter, Egon. I've got a problem.
-What is it?
-I'm with Dana Barrett and she's floating three feet off the bed.
-Does she want to be?
-I don't think so. It's more of that Gozer thing. She says she's the Gatekeeper. Does that make any sense to you?
-Some. I just met the Keymaster. He's here with me now. Venkman? Are you there?
-Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking. It probably wouldn't be a good idea for them to get together at this point.
-I agree.
-All right. I'll try.
-I'll spend the night here and get back first thing in the morning.
-He wants to shut down the storage grid.
-Where's the Keymaster?
-Of course! Ivo Shandor, I saw his name in Tobin's SPIRIT GUIDE. He started a secret society in 1920.
-Let me guess -- Gozer Worshippers.
-Yes. After the First World War Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive. And he wasn't alone. He had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals, bizarre rituals, intended to bring about the end of the world.
-She said he was "the Destructor."
-Who?
-Gozer.
-You talked to Gozer?
-What now?
-On the count of three! One ... Two ...
-No! You said crossing the beams would be BAD. It'll kill her! And us!
-Life is just a state of mind.
-You know, Peter, this could be a past life experience intruding on the present.
-I just realized something. We've never had a completely successful test with any of the equipment.
-Sorry, Buddy!
-Ray! Where are you? Are you all right?
-It's working!
-Set entry grid.
-I've got to sleep.
-I need two new purge valves. How's the grid around the storage facility holding up?
-What happened??!!!?
-Look at the structure of the roof cap. It looks exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in other galaxies.
-You mean if I stand here and concentrate on the image of Roberto Clemente, Gozer will appear as Roberto Clemente and wipe us out?
-Excuse me for a minute. Ray, I'm right in the middle of something here. Can you come back in about an hour?
-Peter, at 1:40 this afternoon at the main branch of the New York Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a free-roaming, vaporous, full-torso apparition. It blew books from shelves at twenty feet away. Scared the socks off some poor librarian.
-Sure. That's great, Ray. I think you should get down there right away and check it out. Let me know what happens.
-Spengler and I have charted every psychic occurrence in the Tri-State area for the past two years. The graph we came up with definitely points to something big.
-Ray, as your friend I have to tell you I think you've really gone around the bend on this ghost stuff. You've been running your ass off for two years checking out every schizo in the Five Boroughs who thinks he's had an experience. And what have you seen?
-What do you mean by "seen?"
-Looked at with your eyes.
-Well, I was at an unexplained multiple high-altitude rockfall once.
-What is it?
-I told you it's real.
-What do we do now?
-I don't know. Talk to it.
-What do I say?
-Anything! Just make contact.
-Hey, Lady? Lady! Can you talk? Who are you? This is not working. Think of something else.
-"Get her?" That was your whole plan? You call that science?
-I guess I got a little overexcited. Wasn't it incredible! I'm telling you, this is a first. You know what this could mean to the University?
-If you guys are right, if we can actually trap a ghost and hold it somehow, I think I could win the Nobel Prize.
-If anyone deserves it, it's Spengler and me. We're doing all the hard research and designing the equipment.
-You said you floored 'em at the Regents' meeting.
-This is like a major disgrace. Forget M.I.T. or Stanford now ... they wouldn't touch us with a three-meter cattle prod.
-You're always so worried about your reputation. We don't need the University. Einstein did his best stuff while he was working as a patent clerk.'They can't stop progress.
-Do you know what a patent clerk makes? I liked the University. They gave us money, they gave us the facilities and we didn't have to produce anything! I've worked in the private sector. They expect results. You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there.
-Let me tell you, Ray, everything in life happens for a reason. Call it fate, call it luck, Karma, whatever. I think we were destined to get kicked out of there.
-For what purpose?
-You'll never regret this, Ray.
-My parents left me that house, I was born there.
-You're not going to lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages these days.
-But most people are afraid to even report these things.
-Wow! Does this pole still work?
-Everybody can relax. I found the car. How do you like it?
-Do you think it's wide enough? How much?
-Why don't I check out the building? It may have a history of psychic turbulence.
-How was your date?
-They will.
-So do I.
-No sense worrying about it now.
-I'm getting high readings near the air vents. It must be using the duct system to get around. See, I told you we'd get something.
-So far all we got is a shit smell on the twelfth floor and we almost fried a Puerto Rican bellboy.
-Ray -- Something's here.
-Where are you, Pete?
-Third floor. Get down here,
-Sit tight. I'm on my way.
-It's here, Ray. It's looking at me.
-Don't move. It won't hurt you.
-How do you know?
-Boy, that was a rough one.
-Egon, how's the grid around the storage facility holding up?
-I guess they don't build them like they used to, huh?
-No! Nobody ever built them like this! The architect was either an authentic whacko or a certified genius. The whole building is like a huge antenna for pulling in and concentrating psychokinetic energy.
-Who was the architect?
-It doesn't seem to have slowed him down any.
-As a duly-constituted representative of the City of New York, and on behalf of the County and State of New York, the United States of America, the Planet Earth and all its inhabitants, I hereby order you to cease and desist any and all supernatural activity and return at once to your place of origin or next parallel dimension.
-Agile bastard, isn't he?
-I couldn't help it! It just popped in there!
-What? What popped in there?
-AND YOU CAME UP WITH THAT?
-The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man! He was on all the packages we used to buy when I was a kid. We used to roast Stay-Puft marshmallows at Camp Waconda!
-Very impressive resume. Electronic countermeasures, Strategic Air Command ... Black belt in Karate ... Small arms expert ... Mr. Zeddemore, as you may have heard, we locate ghosts and spirits, trap them with streams of concentrated quantum energy and remove them from people's homes, offices and places of worship.
-Hey man. What is it you're so involved with there?
-Uh ... Oh these are blueprints of the structural ironwork in Dana Barrett's apartment building ... And they're most unusual.
-Are you a Christian, Ray?
-Mmmhmmm.
-Me, too.
-Boy! Solid cores of shielded Selenium .325.
-Do you believe in God?
-No. But I liked Jesus' style.
-Me, too. Parts of the Bible are great.
-The whole roof cap was fabricated with a magnesium-tungsten alloy.
-Ray, do you remember something in the Bible about a day when the dead would rise up from their graves?
-And the seas would boil ...
-Right. And the sky would fall ...
-Judgement Day ...
-Yeah, Judgement Day.
-Every ancient religion had its own myth about the end of the world.
-You don't have to worry about that with us, sir.
-Stantz? You okay in there?
-What's he talking about? Choose what?
-Where are we now, Commodus? Can you see the camp? My Gods! The air is turning into ice!
-We're nearly there, Lucilla.
-That's what you told me two days ago!
-Will you please get back in your wagon? And stay there?
-More wine, sister? Surely you can drink more than that.
-I was suddenly thinking about going to bed.
-Quite so. Narcissus and his courageous men; may they live long to serve Rome...
-Don't you think you should at least wave?
-They hate me, they really hate me don't they?
-I should at least have you, don't you think?
-Did Narcissus die today? Wasn't this his day to die?
-No one in Rome has ever heard of him. Do you want to remind those few in the Senate who have? The whole sordid thing is far beneath your position to begin with. Forget about him.
-Those are priceless sculptures.
-It's disgusting! Animals! I had to come here under armed guard. Slaves -- get this junk out of my sight.
-How about in the forum. Right in front of the Senate.
-If I may be so bold...
-For the gods, spit it out!
-Kill him! Tribuus -- execute that bastard.
-Tribuus... tomorrow.
-You're coming back?
-Where have you been?
-Taking my pleasure. Do I need to clear my lovers with you?
-You must start clearing everything with me -- especially your lovers.
-Why are you so surly -- you've won, brother. The people have bread and the city is quiet.
-What is that... wailing?
-Now that is a happy sound! Tomorrow, I want the citizens -- my people -- back in the arena. The Gods know, I'm tired. Come to bed, now; tonight we're celebrating.
-What are you talking about?
-Now that we're done with that infatuation forever.
-If I ever loved Narcissus it wasn't like you want.
-"... encased in the armor of a demigod, Narcissus The Good continues his impossible climb in the arena where he was unjustly cast..."
-Yes? Go on!
-Tell Lykas to send a retiarius and a Samnite to help Tiger.
-You can't do that... listen to the mood of the crowd.
-I want that bastard dead!
-You want control of the crowd -- you can't get it by killing their hero.
-I am their hero!
-Not yet, dear brother...
-Lykas, pick a man. Someone who will look good. Jerses I want it built up in the Daily Action...
-Damn him! I should have killed him on the front -- I let you talk me out of that.
-You would have had a full scale revolt on your hands.
-Welcome back from your great triumph Narcissus Meridas. My father sends his heart felt praise. Sadly, Marcus is in dark humors -- nothing to worry about, but he needs rest. Likely just the weather.
-Respectfully Caesar, Quintus and I must report.
-Do you expect Marcus to be well enough by morning for an audience?
-That's difficult to say, general.
-Then you'd be out of a job.
-Gladly Caesar.
-I back Rome against all her enemies -- if that answer disappoints you, I'm not a politician...
-I would say there's nothing more dangerous than a man who knows what 'right' is.
-But they're not destroyed, not yet.
-You and my father have become very close. Perhaps one day I may say the same for us.
-You flatter me, Caesar.
-Being as close, I'm certain you've noticed what we all have noticed.
-Caesar?
-I'm ordering a general stand-down in preparation for withdrawal back across the Danube.
-Forgive me, Caesar, but do two Senator represent the mood of the whole Senate or the will of the Roman people? Besides, every truce we make with the Germans they break!
-They won't break this one.
-Where is my family?
-Cooperate and they will be returned to your estate. I could have executed you.
-The army is a problem. They love you. You have led them from victory to victory in the name of Rome and they love you. And after all, you're just a hothead acting from a misguided sense of loyalty -- who could fault you for that? Thus have I reached a compromise with the Senate over your fate: instead of executing you, I'm sending
-Endorse me in public. Do that and I'll make you rich and set you free. I'll return your estates. I know you would give anything to be outside again. Endorse me and you will be free. Think of it. What would you do with your freedom?
-Insubordination. To the Emperor... and the Senate.
-The Senate is out to sink you. I swear it, Caesar, your generosity is being repaid with public attacks on your honor. Your enemies want you weak enough so by the first of Janus when you must be confirmed the Senate will be able to deny you.
-Caesar, ignore them.
-Ignore that?! The sooner we leave this disgusting place the better.
-Gods of hell! This must cost a fortune! How many days is this going to go on?
-And like children everywhere they scream "freedom" the most when they desire it least. I beg you, please continue, Caesar.
-Throw it down into the streets! Down into the Forum. If it's my father they want then give him to them!
-Yes. You know, that's not a bad idea.
-Maybe it'll crush Gaius.
-I'm serious.
-So am I.
-We can crush Gaius another way. What if you do throw something to the people they really want? Make them a gift of food.
-Give away food?
-Sacks of grain, even bread. I own the grain licenses for the military, I can arrange to divert a shipment bound for the army of the Danube.
-Take grain away from the army?
-Caesar, let me sponsor your first wager in the arena.
-Gladly, Caesar. And, if you'd like we can take you for a tour of the front at first light.
-Marcus Aurelius has died.
-We must obey our emperor and the Senate.
-This is the only place in Rome where I thought -- I believed -- I was wholly in power.
-It's because he comes off as the underdog.
-Underdog! How can he be an underdog -- he wins all the time! I'm the emperor why can't I kill him? He could be poisoned, or somehow killed to look like an accident.
-Where is my father?
-Tribuus, what happened in the arena? Was Narcissus killed?
-Why isn't he dead? Damn you, you promised me he would be dead!
-Yes, Caesar?
-Tribuus! Go left here, I want to see my new statue at Via Claudia.
-Yes, Caesar.
-You won an impossible fight. You got the attention of the crowd, legate...
-This is Cos, this precocious young man. A scribe for the Daily Action. I've invited him to write a small piece about you...
-"Caesar Commodus discovering his lineage converges with the Demigod, Hercules, has determined to display his magnificence before his beloved citizens." The Emperor's going to fight in the arena. I'm supposed to write this for tomorrow's edition.
-Cos, what in hades is the emperor up to? And don't tell me you don't know!
-I don't know...
-AGH! Please! He's having a secret device constructed for the circus. The brass craftsmen are working overtime.
-I'll nose around...
-So tell me, what happened between you and the emperor? What really happened on the German front? You know the Senate's arguing your case...
-That's their job, isn't it? To argue. So, I think my case will be long on talk and short on action.
-My birth sign is Water Bearer, twenty-fifth day in the month of Janus.
-The Emperor and I are bound by the threads of The Fates. He was born on August thirty-first, you know.
-That makes his birth sign... Virgo! Why that's the sign of a little girl! Can you tell my readers more about your star-crossed connection with Emperor Commodus?
-It's time for you to tell the Citizens that Commodus stole the money allocated for defending the German border. It's time to tell the citizens everything. Will you write it?
-The battle was won, today, and I prefer to believe it was a gift of Janus, the eldest God of Rome. God of my ancestors.
-God of passages and changes?
-I believe we are arriving in an enlightened age; an age of peace that will bring Rome her greatest glory. Thanks to Marcus Aurelius.
-You know, general, there is a Gate of Janus in Rome which is only closed in time of peace. Sadly, it has remained open for three hundred years.
-I've read of it.
-But have never been?
-I would venture, with all respect: the Emperor's health is the business of every soul in the empire.
-A republican is a man who strives to create equality among all classes. At the core he's a man who believes in doing what's right.
-The trouble is defining exactly what 'right' is.
-The Senate too?
-The moment you returned from the battle your options were clear. If you are a friend to neither side, legate, you must be an enemy to both. We needed to know what you believed.
-Who are you? Narcissus The Good? I have heard of Narcissus Meridas. That's who I hear you are.
-You're hearing about somebody else.
-How did you get condemned to the arena without a trial?
-When the Senate and the Emperor agree miracles can happen.
-Would you support the Senate if they would give you a trial? You'd have to give me your word.
-I need to give you my word when yours is worth nothing?
-You're a citizen and a soldier. Not a gladiator.
-You on your way to trial, too, general? Or do you think they've already had our trial?
-Why you?
-My loyalties... were in doubt.
-Fools to let us both live; we'll be our own best witnesses at our trial.
-Is this Rome? Are we just going to be executed?
-No future-telling, please, I've been terrified enough for one day.
-You know our two most senior Senators: Gaius Cantus and Falco Verus?
-I thought all good generals were quick to recognize opportunities.
-Sneaking around with your brother?
-Without him. He'd be weeping if he overheard that. Well? The idea of you as my adopted brother is very... exciting.
-I'm not fit for the job and as a matter of fact I'm not taking the job.
-Why do you keep playing at being so humble? It's a little embarrassing.
-Why do you play at being drunk?
-How do you know I am playing? Well, the clown is always harmless. Isn't that right? And how did you ever get to know me so well? The last we spent any time together I was fourteen. I think you know me better than my father. He's going to die, isn't he?
-I don't believe that. He's got the best doctor in the world and a will of iron. You know we're preparing for a full-blown invasion of Germany.
-It's my brother's neck you want, not mine.
-I came here to see that you stay alive. The people need a living breathing alternative to Commodus, a hero.
-You mean a symbol of someone who doesn't exist.
-Twenty years I've led men to die. For me it was the glory of Rome. But that was something. If it wasn't that, then it was the pay or the loot of the next whore -- but that was something! These men here are butchered for laughs! Their lives are like jokes delivered in the back alley theaters where their death is a punch
-To think I brought my daughters up on all things Roman. Read to sleep on Catullus, Lucretius... Virgil... every night. My beautiful daughters.
-"If you consider yourself to be only one thread of many in the tunic, then it is fitting for you to be like the rest of men, just as the thread has no desire to be any better than the other threads. But..."
-You cannot die.
-Would that Marcus had lived.
-Marcus would have lived but... was poisoned by his son.
-He killed his father and then my family...
-Where are they?
-Commodus, it's we who are going on the offensive.
-The fort helps position us for a final invasion in the spring when they're most vulnerable.
-I want you to start your work for the last phase of the campaign.
-I will, Marcus. But you're going to be well enough to direct it yourself.
-I've made so many mistakes, Narcissus. We all put off the very last duties of our lives because we're afraid of admitting when our lives are over.
-There's no reason to say that. Everyone knows you're going to be well. I had Servis groom your horse for a triumphal visit to the front at first light.
-Servis made it through again?
-If I'd ever had a sign that you wanted to rule I would have... no, again, it's my own bullheadedness. Narcissus, I should have adopted you years ago. And now the Gods are begging me to make you my son!
-Commodus is just a young man, he'll learn what you had to learn.
-It's not because he's young, it's because he's ignorant and arrogant. His sister is a better man. That's why I have undertaken to begin sweeping changes in the relationship between the emperor and the Senate.
-So I understand.
-Everyone talking about it? I wouldn't wonder. All I seek is a genuine balance of power between the Emperor and the Senate. Thus I have transferred legal power -- which was theirs to begin with -- back to the Senators. This includes a shared right to taxation too but some bite in the plan. It's a start, only a start. If the Emperor and
-You're too hard on him. He is a strong young man, with you as his guide...
-A man should be upright, not be kept upright. History shows us that a good general is quick to recognize opportunities -- even if it means making a complete about face at the last minute. I want you to consider becoming my heir.
-Marcus, you honor me, but I'm a soldier, politics scare the hell out of me.
-The Senators admire you.
-They fear me.
-They fear change. The new Caesar must be honest enough to know when the emperorship is no longer feasible. You could be the one, the Emperor, the man who oversees the rebirth of the Republic.
-I made the plume from a quail feather.
-Don't stop to visit -- take the children straight home and I'll follow as soon as I can.
-Tomorrow?
-As soon as I can.
-On your honor as a Roman officer, daddy?
-I see the emperor's little boy has finally caught up with the army.
-What the hell was all that about?
-What the hell do you think it was about? There's nothing an unproved heir to the throne likes less than glaring competence in others.
-Why don't we try to keep politics out of the conversation.
-Serious stuff...
-Everyone knew you would have been outspoken against this deal.
-What deal?
-Rome is going to pay tribute -- like a defeated nation begging for mercy? Have you told your troops that?
-My troops don't make policy.
-On his death bed I promised Marcus I would complete our work here. The Senate may be vacillating, but I have the army behind me. I'm taking half a cohort and restocking that fort.
-You brought the army into Rome.
-I was summoned.
-It's your job as a Roman officer to disobey such a summons.
-It's my job to keep my job. And that, by the way, is now head of Praetorian Guard. Good ole Tribuus has been retired.
-Quintus, you've got at least a division with you -- we could take Rome away from Commodus and give it back to the Senate!
-You seem to be doing a great job of it single-hand! Narcissus, the Republic is dead. You think those Senators could govern? For the last hundred and fifty years they've worked hard at kissing an endless succession of Imperial asses!
-Then give the empire back to the people... the children who will grow up to become senators...
-What are you fighting for in here? The good of Rome? I can end this madness now! Take the job for the sake of the Gods, live!
-He's very realistic.
-Well, you wanted the girls to have the best teachers.
-Greeks?
-What about their philosophy lessons?
-They're studying with Cynics.
-You need to come home!
-I can see that...
-The battle is over. The war is over. You've won!
-This is our oil from our estates?
-Very fancy. Did you design the bottle?
-Who else? I'm the one who runs the estates while you're here risking everything we have for the glory of Rome! Or for the glory of you!
-I'm a soldier -- we're at war. I can't stay home tending the damned olive groves?
-I want to come home, of course I do, I'd have to be mad not to want that. It's just that Marcus trusts me.
-Let him trust Quintus.
-Quintus is overly idealistic.
-I never knew a more idealistic man than you.
-Me? Well, I believe in Rome... you'd have to after what I've seen, how people outside the empire treat each other.
-I don't even want to imagine the things you've seen...
-When you get to Ostia, use this -- bribe passage to Africa or Spain. Save my family. You should be able to find a merchant ship that will take you to Egypt then to Numidia.
-You're not going! You have to stay with us!
-How long do you think Commodus will let us live once he's in power? A month? Half a year? Paestum will be a prison where he'll hold us until it's time...
-Narcissus!
-Do you want to see Themis and Manto butchered? If I die fighting Commodus he won't care about you. If I live I'll come and get you.
-I'll never die. You tell the girls that. You honor our ancestors and I'll be there. Every night. At the table of life.
-Your daughters need more than some vapors; they need you!
-They'll have me. Teach them. Don't let them become like these ignorant heaps of citizens without history, without philosophy, without meaning. Teach them of the Greeks, the Babylonians, the Hebrews, the Numidians, the Egyptians and the great Romans. Teach them, who we are!
-You teach them!
-You're a legate in the Roman army. Huh...? and you act like one. What was your crime?
-I killed too many barbarians.
-Who the hell are you?
-I am the man who might save your life -- give you a bit more life at any rate. I am Proximo Palindromos head of this gladiatorial school which is named after me. I own this school and everything that's in it. You're in it! But why? What did a Roman general do to get himself condemned to the Colosseum? Understand, we usually get
-Condemned? Aren't I owed a trial before being condemned?
-General, all I know is you have been condemned to the Colosseum, and a trial is nowhere to be seen.
-Thank you. What is going to happen tomorrow? Exactly?
-You are to be killed, exactly. They'll give you a sporting chance, but just enough to make your murder... entertaining. Romans like to mix their metaphors: laughter with their executions, you know? If you survive, though, you will become a gladiator. A gladiator at least gets a fair fight.
-Death is a very light thing for you.
-Take your hands off me animal!
-Sorry but I have to get at least one fight out of you otherwise I won't even get back the cost of the bribe I had to pay the arena slaves to get you here. I know what you're trying to do: kill yourself and trust in the Roman tradition of justice that the emperor will let your family survive and keep their lands.
-I refuse to be your slave. I refuse --
-Legate Narcissus Meridas, general of the Spanish Felix Legions! I'm proud to have you in my school! Now, show them what you can do!
-I'm not a gladiator. I refuse to fight.
-General, do you realize what happened out there today?
-I didn't get killed and everyone else did.
-At the end of the day I was approached by the Golden Pompeii Olive Oil company. Small, but profitable. They asked if you would endorse their oil. We could get some very nice posters. Make some very big money...
-What would the poster say: "Narcissus would kill for a taste of Golden Pompeii Olive Oil?"
-General, hang on... drink slowly. You are blessed by the Gods to have a physician and a Divine of Janus with you tonight. A fan sent them to you.
-Proximo, if this is her doctor he's an assassin.
-It will be good luck for you to wear that helmet... It belonged to Cimon of Smyrna... he was crushed by an elephant.
-No more bad luck now! The people are anticipating you! I have posters up over half the city advertising you as the great warrior -- the true Roman! The man who fought side by side with the wolf of Rome!
-Tiger's challenged you and Jerses has made me an offer, made us both an offer: you take a fall.
-You put this inside your shirt -- when Tiger stabs your stomach -- it's full of pig's blood. Gushes out everywhere! It's really impressive. Fantastic! Better than the real thing!
-So I pretend I'm dead. You get gold, what do I get?
-You get to come alive again in the country!
-As, what, 'The Galloping Gladiator?!'
-The point is you get to fight the easy country circuit, the small arenas, relax, live the good life!
-Spend my days beheading country bumpkins? I don't know, Proximo, who has better wine than you? Besides, I'm beginning to think of the Colosseum as my home.
-But -- you have to go out there! I'll give you more than your one third! When I get paid... just take the fall! You're too hurt to fight and the man's a killer!
-Pressures on, eh Proximo? There's got to be a load of money in this. Why else would you toss a red hot commodity like me out the window?
-Tell me honestly, since this may be our last earthly meeting: if this were a fair fight where would you put your money?
-On you! Of course! You are my bravest fighter -- the best fighter I have ever seen!
-Such nobility from such an ignoble mouth. Take my advice and make that bet.
-How much money is involved?
-A great deal. They designed and build Tiger's chariot...
-They want to dump Tiger and have me endorse their damned chariot, right? They don't waste time...
-I can really rape them on this! Can I at least tell them you'll think about it?
-No. Tell them I'll do it. But I want more posters all over Rome.
-Fantastic! Wonderful! But posters are very expensive.
-Then get a large cash advance.
-Right, right... But they'll have to bring in a lawyer. I don't want to get sued over this.
-Before they leave, get gold.
-Right, right, what am I thinking of?
-I want another interview with Cos. Tell him to bring plenty of ink.
-So, things change. The government has moved to the circus. You're going to fight last. And Commodus is going to fight first.
-You were a soldier, and then a gladiator, weren't you?
-Let's talk about this later. Right now we have other things to settle. You and your family will be leaving with a supply ship returning in the morning to Ostia. From there, Caesar has decreed you be given an estate in Paestum. It's beautiful; an old Greek town right on the ocean. Rich soil. Perhaps we could keep our financial arrangements... although Caesar will
-I want nothing to do with the arena.
-Commodus must hate you. Free your gladiators and come with us.
-Hello.
-You're living at home now. Is that right?
-Yes.
-Do you know what you're going to do?
-No.
-Are you going to graduate school?
-Do you always drive like this?
-Do you want some dinner?
-Aren't you eating?
-No.
-Why not?
-Benjamin -- do you dislike me for some reason?
-No -- why should I?
-Could you do it?
-Will you take me home now?
-I'm sorry I took you in there.
-I think I'd better go home now please.
-But, Elaine --
-Where is the car?
-I want to go home.
-But could I just tell you this one thing?
-What?
-This whole idea -- this date and everything. It was my parents' idea. They forced me into it.
-Oh -- that's very nice of you to tell me.
-Listen -- could you stop crying, please?
-No, I couldn't.
-But could you try?
-I've had this feeling -- ever since I've graduated -- this -- kind of compulsion that I have to be rude all the time. Do you know what I mean?
-Would you like to come in? I could make some coffee.
-No, I mean -- I wouldn't want to wake anyone up.
-We won't. Let's go inside.
-Wait a minute.
-Is anything wrong?
-No -- I was just thinking -- look -- it's still early -- we could do something -- go somewhere else.
-Where we going?
-I'm trying to think of where there's a place to have a drink around here.
-What is the matter?
-Listen, Elaine -- it seems to me that there isn't a bar in here. I mean -- as far as I know.
-Benjamin --
-Let's get out of here, Elaine. Let's go somewhere else.
-Benjamin -- do they know you?
-Ben -- what's happening? Who is Mr. Gladstone?
-Do you?
-Yes.
-I'm sorry. That is not my business.
-Was she married or something?
-Yes.
-With a family?
-Yes. She had a husband and a son.
-Did they ever find out?
-No.
-And it's all over now.
-Yes.
-All right.
-During the day? We'll go for a drive or something.
-Okay.
-You sure you really want to?
-Yes.
-Because I wouldn't want you to do it unless you really wanted to!
-I do.
-You do?
-What's the matter?
-You've got to go over the back fence and I'll meet you on the corner.
-Benjamin -- what's happening?
-Why aren't you ready?
-What is it?
-That woman --
-What?
-That woman. The older woman.
-You mean the one who --
-Elaine --
-No -- don't cry --
-GET OUT!
-Don't cry.
-I'm meeting someone.
-Where are you meeting this person?
-At the Zoo.
-The Zoo. They have a pretty good one here, do they?
-I've never been to it.
-Is that him over there?
-No.
-Where did he say he was going to meet you?
-I thought he said by the monkey house.
-Benjamin -- I would like to know what you're doing here.
-Here? In Berkeley?
-Yes.
-Well, I have this very pleasant room on Carter Street -- and I've been getting to some classes --
-But you're not enrolled.
-Benjamin -- you're -- I don't know what to say -- you're --
-Maybe we could get together some time and talk about it.
--- really incredible --
-Here he comes.
-What?
-I want to ask you a question.
-Come in.
-No. I want to know why you're here in Berkeley?
-Because -- I am.
-Is it because I'm here?
-What do you think?
-I said I think it is.
-All right then! Yes!
-Well, I want you to leave.
-Elaine -- I love you.
-Do you just hate everything? How could you possibly rape my...
-What?
-I don't understand --
-Did you say rape her?
--- how you -- how anyone -- could do a thing like that.
-What did she say?
-Let me go.
-Why?
-Because it isn't true.
-She said she was having a drink in the hotel with a friend. You waited for her in the parking lot and told her she was too drunk to drive home and that you would get her a room for the night.
-Then what?
-Then you took her upstairs and you raped her.
-Please let me go.
-Don't tell me --
--- and when we got up in the room she starts taking her her clothes off -- and --
-Benjamin -- this is my mother!
-Benjamin, when you came up here, what did you think was going to happen between us?
-Can I just sit here while you're packing?
-What are you looking for?
-My belt.
-Don't you have it on?
-No. I have two. The other one is the one I'm looking for. What's this? It's from my grandmother.
-The marble?
-The belt I'm looking for was from my grandmother.
-What are you going to do now?
-Are you going home?
-No.
-I don't want you to leave tomorrow.
-I don't understand.
-I don't want you to go anywhere until you have a definite plan.
-But Elaine --
-Benjamin?
-What?
-You won't?
-I don't know.
-But you might.
-I might.
-Is that so? You might marry me?
-Yes.
-When?
-I don't know.
-How about tomorrow? I don't mean to be pushy but --
-I don't know. I don't know what's happening.
-Well -- look -- don't be confused. We're getting married.
-I don't see how we can.
-We just can.
-Elaine -- are you serious about this?
-I'll think about it.
-You really will?
-We could go down and get our blood tests tomorrow.
-Tomorrow?
-Or this afternoon. It's a good day for it.
-Benjamin -- I haven't even said I'll marry you yet.
-I just don't think it would work.
-Why wouldn't it?
-Why don't you just drag me off if you want to marry me so much?
-Why don't I just drag you off? All right -- I will. Right after we get the blood tests.
-Well -- I have to see Carl first.
-Carl who?
-Carl Smith. He's a medical student. We've known him for years.
-Who -- that guy at the Zoo?
-Yes.
-Why do you have to see him?
-How did he do it? Did he get down on his knees? He didn't get down on his knees, I hope.
-No, Benjamin.
-Well, what did he say? I'm curious.
-He said he thought we'd make a pretty good team.
-Oh no. He said that.
-Shhhh.
-Are we getting married tomorrow?
-No.
-The day after tomorrow?
-Benjamin?
-657-2036
-Hello -- who is this?
-This is Dr. Smith's answering service.
-Is the doctor anywhere?
-Well -- you see -- the doctor is at his son's wedding, but I'm sure it's over by now. He should be checking in any moment --
-Oh. Well -- I'm not sure -- but you might try the First Presbyterian. That's on Allan Street.
-Thank you.
-Ben!
-Excuse me. Mr. McQuire.
-Ben.
-Ben -- I just want to say one word to you -- just one word --
-Yes, sir.
-Are you listening?
-Yes I am.
-Exactly how do you mean?
-There is a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?
-Yes, I will.
-You a student?
-What's that?
-I said -- not exactly -- no.
-What are you then?
-I like to know who's living in my house. I like to know what my boys are up to.
-You're not one of those agitators?
-What?
-One of those outside agitators.
-Oh -- no sir.
-Oh -- hello, Mr. McCleery.
-Who screamed?
-It's all right, Mr. McCleery.
-Screaming isn't all right. Not in my house it isn't.
-What did you do to her?
-See -- she's just having some water. Now there's no need for the cops or anything.
-All right, boys -- I think you can get back to your rooms. I don't think we'll have any more of this agitation. Will we, Braddock?
-Mr. McCleery?
-You heard me. Out of here.
-What for?
-Mr. McCleery -- do you have some change? I need to use the phone?
-I want you out of here.
-Look -- I'll give you ten dollars for a dime -- I'll give you twenty -- for God's sake, will you let me use that phone?
-I am going to call the police now.
-Could I make one phone call first?
-BENJAMIN?
-Yes.
-Will you bring up my purse before you go?
-Mrs. Robinson?
-I'm in the bathroom.
-Well here's the purse.
-Could you bring it up?
-Come to the railing and I'll hand it up.
-I'm putting it on the top step.
-I'm putting it here by the door.
-Will you bring it in to me?
-I'd rather not.
-All right. Put it in the room where we were.
-Hello.
-Mrs. Robinson -- I don't quite know how to put this --
-Benjamin?
-Look -- I was thinking about that time after the party --
-Where are you?
--- and I was wondering if I could buy you a drink or something --
-Where are you?
-Uh -- The Taft Hotel.
-Did you get a room?
-No. Now I know it's pretty late and if you'd rather --
-Give me an hour.
-What?
-Can I help you, sir!
-What?
-The Singleman party, sir?
-Oh -- yes. The Singleman party.
-It's in the main ballroom.
-Yes sir?
-A room. I'd like a room, please.
-A single room or a double room?
-A single. Just for myself, please.
-Is anything wrong, sir?
-What? No. Nothing.
-Do you have any luggage, Mister -- Gladstone?
-Luggage? Yes. Yes. I do.
-Where is it?
-What?
-Where is your luggage?
-Well it's in the car. It's out in the car.
-Very good, sir. I'll have a porter bring it in.
-Oh no.
-Sir?
-I mean I'd -- I'd rather not go to the trouble of bringing it all in. I just have a toothbrush. I can get it myself. If that's all right.
-I'll have a porter show you the room.
-Oh. Well actually, I'd just as soon find it myself. I just have the toothbrush to carry up and I think I can manage it myself.
-Oh. I guess this isn't the bathroom, is it?
-How are you, Benjamin?
-Is there an ashtray in here?
-No.
-Is it a girl?
-Is what a girl?
-Whatever it is you're upset about.
-Oh -- no. I'm just sort of disturbed about things.
-In general.
-Benjamin, I want to ask you something.
-What?
-Will you take me home?
-What?
-You don't?
-No.
-Thank you.
-Will you come in, please?
-What?
-I want you to come in till I get the lights on.
-What for?
-Would you mind walking ahead of me to the sun porch. I feel funny about coming into a dark house.
-But it's light in there now.
-What do you drink? Bourbon?
-All right then.
-Benjamin -- I'm sorry to be this way, but I don't want to be alone in this house.
-Why not?
-Please wait till my husband gets home.
-When is he coming back?
-Drink?
-Are you always this much afraid of being alone?
-Yes.
-Well, why can't you just lock the doors and go to bed?
-What do you think of me?
-What do you mean?
-You've known me nearly all of your life. You must have formed some opinion.
-Well -- I've always thought that you were a very -- nice -- person.
-Did you know I was an alcoholic?
-What?
-Did you know that?
-Look -- I think I should be going --
-Sit down, Benjamin.
-Mrs. Robinson -- if you don't mind my saying so -- this conversation is getting a little strange. Now I'm sure that Mr. Robinson will be here any minute and --
-No.
-What?
-Oh my God.
-Pardon?
-Oh no, Mrs. Robinson, oh no.
-What's wrong?
-Mrs. Robinson, you didn't -- I mean you didn't expect --
-What?
-I mean -- you didn't really think that I would do something like that.
-Like what?
-What do you think?
-Well I don't know.
-For God's sake, Mrs. Robinson, here we are, you've got me into your house. You give me a drink. You put on music, now you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband won't be home for hours.
-So?
-Aren't you?
-Why no. I hadn't thought of it. I feel rather flattered that you --
-Mrs. Robinson, will you forgive me for what I just said?
-It's all right.
-It's not all right, it's the worst thing I've ever said to anyone.
-Sit down.
-Please forgive me. Because I like you. I don't think of you that way. But I'm mixed up.
-All right. Now finish your drink.
-Mrs. Robinson, it makes me sick that I said that to you.
-We'll forget it right now. Finish your drink.
-What is wrong with me?
-Have you ever seen Elaine's portrait?
-Her portrait?
-Yes.
-No.
-We had it done last Christmas. Would you like to see it?
-I don't remember her as having brown eyes.
-Benjamin?
-Yes?
-I think I'll go to bed.
-Oh. Well, goodnight.
-Won't you unzip my dress?
-I'd rather not, Mrs. Robinson.
-If you still think I'm trying to seduce you --
-No, I don't. But I just feel a little funny.
-Benjamin -- you've known me all your life.
-I know that. But I'm --
-Thank you.
-What are you so scared of?
-I'm not scared, Mrs. Robinson.
-Then why do you keep running away?
-Haven't you ever seen anybody in a slip before?
-But I just -- Look -- what if Mr. Robinson walked in right now?
-What if he did?
-Well, it would look pretty funny, wouldn't it?
-Don't you think he trusts us together?
-Of course he does. But he might get the wrong idea. Anyone might.
-I don't see why. I'm twice as old as you are. How could anyone think --
-But they would! Don't you see?
-Benjamin -- I'm not trying to seduce you. I wish you'd --
-I know that. But please, Mrs. Robinson. This is difficult for me.
-Why is it?
-Because I am confused about things. I can't tell what I'm imagining. I can't tell what's real. I can't --
-Would you like me to seduce you?
-What?
-Is that what you're trying to tell me?
-I really don't want to put this on again. Won't you bring it up?
-Where is it?
-Don't be nervous.
-Get away from that door.
-I want to say something first.
-Jesus Christ!
-Benjamin -- I want you to know I'm available to you. If you won't sleep with me this time --
-Oh my God.
-If you won't sleep with me this time, Benjamin, I want you to know you can call me up any time you want and we'll make some kind of arrangement.
-Let me out!
-Do you understand what I said?
-Yes. Yes. Let me out!
-Yes, I do.
-Benjamin?
-Yes.
-Hello, Benjamin.
-May I sit down?
-How are you?
-May I have a drink?
-He didn't see me.
-You don't have to be so nervous, you know.
-Did you get us a room?
-What?
-Have you gotten us a room yet?
-I haven't. No.
-Do you want to?
-Well -- I don't. I mean I could. Or we could just talk.
-Do you want me to get it?
-You? Oh no. No. I'll get it.
-Do you want to get it now?
-Now?
-Yes.
-Well -- I don't know.
-Why don't you get it.
-I got a single room.
-That's fine.
-But there's one thing. The desk clerk seemed to be a little bit suspicious. I mean -- I don't know what their policy is -- but --
-Well -- do you want to go up first?
-Yes -- I think that would be good.
-I'll be up in five minutes.
-Well -- goodbye then --
-Benjamin.
-Yes?
-Isn't there something you want to tell me?
-To tell you?
-Yes.
-Well -- I want you to know how much I appreciate this -- really --
-The number.
-What?
-The room number, Benjamin. I think you ought to tell me that.
-Oh? You're absolutely right. Absolutely. It's 512.
-Thank you.
-Well.
-Benjamin.
-Yes?
-I'll get undressed now. Is that all right?
-Sure. Shall I -- I mean shall I just stand here? I mean -- I don't know what you want me to do.
-Why don't you watch?
-Will you bring me a hanger?
-What?
-Oh -- yes. Wood?
-What?
-Wood or wire? They have both.
-Either one will be fine.
-Thank you.
-Would this be easier for you in the dark?
-Mrs. Robinson -- I can't do this.
-You what?
-This is all terribly wrong.
-Benjamin -- do you find me undesirable?
-Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. I think -- I think you're the most attractive of all my parents' friends. I just don't think we could possibly --
-Are you afraid of me?
-No -- but look -- maybe we could do something else together, Mrs. Robinson -- would you like to go to a movie.
-Benjamin, is this your first time?
-Is this -- what?
-It is, isn't it? It is your first time.
-That's a laugh, Mrs. Robinson. That's really a laugh. Ha ha.
-You can admit that, can't you?
-Are you kidding?
-It's nothing to be ashamed of --
-Wait a minute!
-On your first time --
-Who said it was my first time?
-That you're afraid --
-Wait a minute.
--- of bring -- inadequate -- I mean just because you happen to be inadequate in one way --
-Now -- do you think we could say a few words to each other first this time?
-If you want.
-Good. I mean are we dead or something?
-Well I just don't think we have much to say to each other.
-All we ever do is come up here and throw off the clothes and leap into bed together.
-Are you tired of it?
-I'm not. No. But do you think we could liven it up with a few words now and then?
-Well what do you want to talk about?
-Anything. Anything at all.
-Do you want to tell me about some of your college experiences?
-Oh my God.
-Well?
-Leave it on! Now we are going to do this thing. We are going to have a conversation. Think of another topic.
-How about art.
-Art. That's a good subject. You start it off.
-You start it off. I don't know anything about it.
-Oh.
-Don't you?
-Yes I do. I know quite a bit about it.
-Go ahead then.
-Are you interested more in modern art or more in classical art.
-Neither.
-You're not interested in art?
-No.
-Then why do you want to talk about it?
-Can I take off my clothes now?
-No. Think of another topic. Tell me what you did today.
-Do you really want me to?
-Yes I do.
-Do you want to hear it or not?
-Yes. But you might try and spice it up with a little originality.
-I got up. I ate breakfast and went shopping. During the afternoon I read a novel.
-What one.
-What?
-What novel did you read.
-Then I fixed supper for my husband and waited until --
-There!
-What?
-Your husband! Mrs. Robinson! There's something we could have a conversation about.
-Him?
-I mean everything. I don't know anything about how you -- how you work this. I don't know how you get out of the house at night. I don't know the risk involved.
-There isn't any.
-How do you get out of the house?
-I walk out.
-What do you say to him?
-He's asleep.
-Always?
-Benjamin, this isn't a very interesting topic.
-Please. Now tell me. How do you know he won't wake up sometime and follow you.
-Because he takes sleeping pills. He takes three sleeping pills every night at ten o'clock.
-But what about the noise from the car. What if --
-The driveway's on my side of the house.
-We're talking.
-What?
-We're talking, Mrs. Robinson. We're talking.
-Calm down, Benjamin.
-Now let's keep going here.
-Can I undress and talk at the same time?
-Right.
-Thank you.
-Now. You say the driveway's on your side of the house. So I guess you don't sleep in the same room.
-We don't.
-So you don't -- I mean I don't like to seem like I'm prying but I guess you don't sleep together or anything.
-No we don't.
-Well how long has this been going on.
-About five years.
-Oh no. Are you kidding me?
-No.
-You have not slept with your husband for five years?
-Now and then. He gets drunk a few times a year.
-How many times a year.
-On New Year's Eve. Sometimes on his birthday.
-Man, is this interesting.
-Is it?
-So you don't love him. You wouldn't say you --
-We've talked enough, Benjamin.
-Wait a minute. So you wouldn't say you loved him.
-Not exactly.
-But you don't hate him.
-No, Benjamin. I don't hate him. Unhook my blouse.
-Well how do you feel about him, then?
-I don't.
-Well that's kind of a bad situation then, isn't it?
-Is it?
-Well you loved him once, I assume. When you first knew him.
-No.
-What?
-I never did, Benjamin. Now let's --
-Why did you do that?
-See if you can guess.
-Well I can't.
-Think real hard, Benjamin.
-I can't see why you did, unless... you didn't have to marry him or anything, did you?
-Don't tell Elaine.
-Oh no. You had to marry him because you got pregnant?
-Are you shocked?
-Well I never thought of you and Mr. Robinson as the kind of people who...
-All right. Now let's get to bed.
-Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So how did it happen?
-What?
-I mean do you feel like telling me what were the circumstances?
-Not particularly.
-And you were a student also.
-Yes.
-At college.
-Yes.
-What was your major?
-Why are you asking me all this?
-Because I'm interested, Mrs. Robinson. Now what was your major subject at college?
-Art.
-But I thought you -- I guess you kind of lost interest in it over the years then.
-Kind of.
-Well how did it happen?
-How do you think.
-I mean did he take you up to his room with him? Did you go to a hotel?
-Benjamin, what does it possibly matter?
-I'm curious.
-We'd go to his car.
-Oh no. In the car you did it?
-What kind of car was it?
-What?
-Do you remember the make of the car?
-Oh my God.
-Really. I want to know.
-It was a Ford, Benjamin.
-A Ford! A Ford! Goddamnit, a Ford! That's great!
-That's enough.
-Don't talk about Elaine.
-Don't talk about Elaine?
-No.
-Why not?
-I wish you'd tell me.
-There's nothing to tell.
-Well -- I guess I'll have to ask her out on a date and find out what's --
-Do you understand that?
-Well look. I have no intention of taking her out.
-Good.
-I was just kidding around.
-Good.
-But why shouldn't I?
-I have my reasons.
-Then let's hear them.
-No.
-I'm not good enough for her to associate with, am I? I'm not good enough to even talk about her, am I?
-Let's drop it.
-We're not dropping it. Now that's the reason, isn't it? I'm a dirty degenerate, aren't I? I'm not fit to --
-Benjamin?
-I'm good enough for you but I'm too slimy to associate with your daughter. That's it, isn't it? ISN'T IT?
-Yes.
-You go to hell. You go straight to hell, Mrs. Robinson. Do you think I'm proud of myself? Do you think I'm proud of this?
-I wouldn't know.
-Well, I'm not.
-You're not.
-No sir. I am not proud that I spend my time with a broken-down alcoholic!
-I see.
-Because -- Mrs. Robinson this is the sickest, most perverted thing that ever happened to me. And you do what you want but I'm getting the hell out.
-Are you?
-That I'm a sick and disgusting person.
-Now don't start this.
-What?
-Don't start acting hurt.
-Don't you expect me to be a little hurt?
-Mrs. Robinson, you stand there and tell me I'm not good enough for your daughter.
-Did I say that?
-Benjamin, I want to apologize to you if that's the impression you got.
-Well two minutes ago you told me I wasn't good enough for your daughter. Now you say you're sorry I got that impression.
-I didn't mean it. I don't think you'd be right for each other. But I would never say you weren't as good a person as she is.
-You wouldn't.
-What are you doing?
-Well it's pretty obvious you don't want me around any more.
-Well look -- I was kind of upset there. I'm sorry I said those things.
-If that's how you feel --
-But it's not.
-That's all right. I think I can understand why I'm disgusting to you.
-Oh no. Look -- I like you. I wouldn't keep coming here if I didn't like you.
-But if it's sickening for you --
-It's not! I enjoy it! I look forward to it. It's the one thing I have to look forward to.
-You don't have to say that.
-Well I wouldn't. I would never say it if it wasn't true.
-May I stay then?
-Yes. Please. I want you to.
-Thank you.
-Look. Why the hell did you bring this up. It never occurred to me to take her out.
-Then give me your word you won't.
-This is absurd.
-Promise me, Benjamin.
-All right, for christ's sake. I promise I will never take out Elaine Robinson.
-Thank you. Benjamin --
-Now listen -- this was not my idea. It was my father's idea.
-Benjamin -- I thought I made myself perfectly clear about this.
-Look, we'll go out to dinner and have a drink and I'll bring her back. Because it was either that or a dinner party for the two families. And I'm afraid I couldn't quite handle that, if you don't mind. I have no intention of ever taking your precious daughter out again in her life. So don't get upset about it.
-Drive down the block.
-Mrs. Robinson -- I have a date with Elaine. We're going for a drive.
-Now it seems to me --
-Mrs. Robinson --
-I can makes things quite unpleasant.
-How?
-In order to keep Elaine away from you -- I am prepared to tell her everything.
-I don't believe you.
-Then you'd better start believing me.
-Mrs. Robinson, don't wreck it. I'm asking you please not to wreck it.
-Go home now.
-Hello. Get me the police, please.
-Where is Elaine?
-What have you done to her?
-You can't stop me from seeing her, Mrs. Robinson. I'll find her.
-I'm sorry we won't be able to invite you to the wedding, Benjamin, but the arrangements have been so rushed --
-Ahh. I don't think you'll have time for that drink after all.
-I'll find her.
-I say I've got it.
-Sir?
-The toothbrush. I got it all right.
-Very good, sir.
-Yes. Well -- goodnight.
-No -- actually I'm not --
-Braddock -- Braddock?
-Yes, but I'm afraid --
-I'll find your table in a moment. Braddock. Not Braniff? We have a Braniff.
-No -- actually I'm just looking for a friend.
-I'm afraid I don't understand.
-I'm not with your party -- I'm sorry.
-Say hello to Mrs. Robinson, Benjamin.
-Can I talk to you a minute?
-Sure.
-Benjamin? I'm going to ask you something but you don't have to tell me if you don't want.
-What?
-Well I'm going to ask you what you do when you go off at night.
-When I go off?
-You don't have to tell me if you don't want.
-I drive around.
-What else?
-Nothing else.
-Well you don't drive around from midnight until noon the next day, Benjamin.
-Oh, no.
-Then what do you do? Do you meet someone?
-Why did you say that?
-Well this is your business, Benjamin. If you --
-I don't meet anyone, mother, but why did you say that?
-Benjamin, I'm not going to pry into your affairs, but I'd rather you didn't say anything at all than be dishonest. Goodnight, Benjamin.
-Well why do you -- why do you think that?
-Because I know you don't drive around for twelve hours.
-Oh. Well, I don't. Shall I tell you what I do?
-Not if you don't want to.
-I do.
-But I don't want you to make up something.
-I'm not. But I'm -- I'm not very proud of what I do. I usually get kind of drunk. I usually drive over to Los Angeles and go to some bars and get kind of drunk. Then I take a hotel room. So I won't have to drive home on the freeway. I mean it kind of scares me to drive home after --
-Goodnight, Benjamin.
-You believe me, don't you?
-No.
-But I want you to. Please. Please will you believe me.
-It's pretty embarrassing. I really don't know what to tell Mr. Robinson. It's awkward and strained for me every time he suggests that you call up Elaine.
-Don't go on like this. Now if Benjamin absolutely refuses to take her out --
-I do.
-I'm going up to Berkeley today.
-They don't know?
-No -- they don't.
-Well -- when did you decide all this?
-When did you two talk this over?
-I'm just --
--- worried?
-Well --
-About what?
-I guess -- about my future.
-What about it?
-I don't know. I want it to be --
-To be what?
-Why?
-Well -- it's very comfortable -- just to drift here.
-Have you thought about graduate school?
-No.
-Would you mind telling me then -- what were those four years of college for? What was the point of all that hard work?
-You got me.
-I guess she's not good enough for you, is that it?
-Look -- Elaine Robinson and I do not get along.
-How do you know? You haven't seen her since high school. I guess your evenings, whatever you do with them, are just too valuable.
-That has nothing to do with it --
-Say that again.
-Come on, let's call the Robinsons. We've got something to celebrate.
-Wait a minute. You talked to Elaine this morning?
-No. She doesn't know about it.
-She doesn't know that you're coming up to Berkeley?
-Ben -- this whole idea sounds pretty half-baked.
-I drove -- I drove Mrs. Robinson home. She wanted me to drive her home so I -- I drove her home.
-Swell. I appreciate it.
-She's upstairs. She wanted me to wait down here till you got home.
-Standing guard over the old castle, are you?
-Here. It looks like you need a refill.
-Oh no.
-What?
-I've got to go.
-Is anything wrong? You look a little shaken up.
-Thank you very much, sir.
-Ben -- how old are you now?
-Twenty. I'll be twenty-one next week.
-That's a hell of a good age to be.
-Thank you.
-I wish I was that age again. Because, Ben --
-Sir?
-You'll never be young again.
-I know.
-Ben, can I say something to you?
-What?
-How long have you and I known each other? How long have your Dad and I been partners?
-Quite a while.
-I've watched you grow up, Ben.
-Yes, sir.
-In many ways I feel as though you were my own son.
-Thank you.
-So I hope you won't mind my giving you a friendly piece of advice.
-I'd like to hear it.
-You have yourself a few flings this summer. I bet you're quite a ladies' man.
-Oh no.
-Oh say -- Elaine gets down from Berkeley on Saturday.
-Oh yes.
-Ben -- I want you to give her a call.
-I will.
-Hi, Ben. What are you doing with yourself these days?
-Oh -- not too much. Taking it easy.
-That's what I'd do if I could. Nothing wrong with that. Hey Ben, Elaine's coming down from Berkeley soon. I want you to call her up this time.
-I will.
-Hello.
-What would you say to a short one? Bourbon still your drink?
-Do you want -- do you want to try and tell me why you did it?
-Mr. Robinson?
-Do you have a special grudge against me? Do you feel a particularly strong resentment for me?
-No, it's not --
-Is there something I've said that's caused this contempt? Or is it just the things I stand for that you despise?
-It was nothing to do with you, sir.
-Now look -- please --
-Ben, I think we're two civilized human beings. Do you think it's necessary to threaten each other?
-I am not threatening you.
-Do you want to unclench your fists, please? Thank you. I can see in the dark, you know. I've been here quite a while.
-I am trying to tell you I have no personal feelings about you, Mr. Robinson. I am trying to tell you I do not resent you.
-You don't respect me terribly much either, do you?
-No, I don't.
-Well, I don't think we have a whole lot to say to each other, Ben. I do think you should know the consequences of what you've done. I do think you should know that my wife and I are getting a divorce soon.
-But why?
-Why?
-It shouldn't make any difference what happened.
-That's quite a statement.
-Listen to me. We got -- we got into bed with each other. But it was nothing. It was nothing at all. We might -- we might just as well have been shaking hands.
-Shaking hands. Well, that's not saying much for my wife, is it?
-You miss the point.
-Don't shout at me, Ben.
-The point is -- I don't love your wife. I love your daughter, sir.
-Well -- I'm sure you think you do, Ben, but after a few times in bed with Elaine I feel quite sure you'd get over that as quickly as you --
-HUH?
-Hello.
-Mrs. Robinson?
-Yes?
-It's Benjamin.
-Yes?
-Benjamin Braddock.
-Benjamin -- where are you?
-Can you see me now?
-Are you ready in there, feature attraction?
-Dad -- could we just talk about this for a second?
-I can't hold them much longer, Ben. You better get out here.
-I'd like to discuss this.
--- before he does -- You're disappointing them, Ben. You're disappointing them.
-Dad -- can you listen --
-Is anything wrong?
-The Carlsons' are here.
-They came all the way from Tarzana.
-What's happening?
-Ben says he and Elaine are getting married.
-I don't believe it.
-Turn 'em up.
-I'm having luck for the first time in my life.
-I oughtn't to presume, but I -- I'm so grateful to you -- it's been so marvelous. The first time in my life I have gambled -- I've danced! Oh, you can laugh, gentlemen, but it's the first time in my life I've ever tasted life!
-Life, gentlemen, is wonderful, but very dangerous. You must have courage for it, then it's wonderful. You gentlemen don't know that because you are all healthy and happy, but I -- believe me -- a man must know death and not until then does a man know anything about life.
-It's a short life and a gay one...
-Have you a minute now?
-No -- I told you not to come in this lobby.
-Time's getting short.
-I want to speak --
-Not now.
-You are late -- the dancer's gone to the theatre.
-Well?
-She's gone to the theatre -- don't you know?
-Yes.
-And what are you going to do?
-The pearls are in her room.
-Now listen to me. The others are getting suspicious of you. I was on the telephone to Amsterdam today, they think you're scared.
-I've been careful, I've been waiting my chance.
-You've been waiting your chance. You're too much of a gentleman -- that's the trouble with you.
-I told you I'll get the pearls tonight.
-Need any help?
-No.
-No --
-Why?
-The floor clerk is out there in the corridor -- she sees everything ---
-I could take care of her.
-How?
-Chloroform on a handkerchief from behind -- while you...
-No -- no -- no -- no...
-Why?
-Poor girl -- chloroform would give her a rotten headache... I know -- I had it in the war. Besides, she's very pretty -- not young but --
-You're no good for this business. It's just a joke to you...
-I don't like your tone.
-Get out and leave it to me... be ready to leave on the night train for Amsterdam...
-With the pearls?
-I've quit.
-You can't.
-I'm not going to get those pearls and neither are you.
-What about the money?
-I'll pay you back.
-How?
-I have an idea working in my head...
-You might find a bullet through that head...
-Like dancing?
-Never?
-You're a fool!
-He must be very nice.
-Who?
-Whoever is keeping you waiting.
-Have you seen it?
-Oh, my large and noisy neighbor -- really? That?
-That.
-You?
-Oh -- work!!
-Oh!
-Dictation. You know...
-Oh... poor child. If you were free, I'd ask you to come and have some tea -- but --
-Tea would spoil my dinner. One meal a day, I'd hate to spoil it.
-Reducing?
-No -- why? -- should I?
-Lord no -- charming -- but why one meal a day?
-Money -- Ever heard of it?
-Yes -- yes indeed -- but you are a... ...a stenographer. Don't little stenographers earn little pennies?
-Very little.
-Too bad.
-Did you ever see a stenographer with a decent frock on? -- One that she'd bought herself?
-Poor child -- I wish I were free tonight -- we could --
-Aren't you?
-What?
-Free --
-Unfortunately no -- to bad -- tomorrow though.
-Tomorrow? What time tomorrow?
-Shall we say five o'clock -- downstairs?
-Where downstairs?
-Yellow Room where they dance --
-You're very funny --
-Yes? -- Tomorrow?
-Of course.
-We'll dance.
-I'd given you up.
-Chasing around.
-Chasing what?
-You were very different yesterday.
-That was lovely.
-Will you do me a big favor?
-I'll do anything for you.
-Would you like to make a man happy?
-Yes -- I'd love to.
-Then dance the next number with Kringelein.
-Why?
-I feel sorry for him.
-You're not a bit like you were yesterday.
-I fell in love last night -- the real thing.
-Oh -- there's no real thing -- it doesn't exist.
-I thought that, too -- but I found that it does. Come along, dance with Kringelein.
-Going?
-Flaemmchen, what are you doing here in the middle of the night.
-Looking for my room -- one sixty- six.
-You live here?
-For tonight.
-Oh!
-Yes -- oh!
-Well -- such is life, Flaemmchen.
-Please do not be frightened, Madam.
-What do you want here?
-Nothing -- only to be here.
-Why do you hide in my room?
-But surely you must know -- because I love you.
-Poor little Grusinskaya! Does it do you good to cry? Are you afraid? Shall I go?
-I was so alone -- always alone -- and suddenly you were there and said that. No. I am not afraid. It is strange.
-Don't cry -- it tears my heart to see you sob like that.
-Nerves -- just nerves. You must forgive me. I have had a bad evening. I am very tired. Do you know what it is to be tired -- tired of a routine existence?
-So you feel like coming into a lady's room -- and you come... What now?
-I'd like to smoke a cigarette.
-Why do you look at me like that?
-I did not know you were so beautiful... and --
-And then --?
-No irony. You're so appealing -- so soft -- so tired. I feel like taking you in my arms and not letting anything more happen to you -- ever.
-And -- and --
-How tired you are!
-Yes -- tired...
-So alone.
-Alone. All alone. Oh, you strange -- strange creature.
-You mustn't talk Russian to me.
-Strange man...
-Am I quite strange to you?
-Not quite strange now. It is as if I had been expecting you. You know, once when the Grand Duke was alive, I found a man hiding in my room -- a young officer --
-And...?
-He disappeared. Later he was found dead.
-I never knew it was so dangerous to hide in a woman's room when she's alone.
-Go away. Who are you --?
-A man who could love -- that is all, who has forgotten everything else for you.
-You could love me. It is so long since I have heard that word. Nobody has loved me for a long time. It is so icy-cold to be famous. One is so cruelly alone. How is it that you -- Let me look at you. Your hands. Your eyes. Why could you love me?
-I saw you just now -- then I saw you cry -- and now I see you in the mirror -- Grusinskaya...
-Grusinskaya... Oh -- oh if you knew how I slaved and slaved for Grusinskaya -- for the success of Grusinskaya -- for the triumph of Grusinskaya... and what is she now? Just someone who has found that on the day success ceases life ceases -- Are you listening to me -- Do you understand? -- I want you to understand.
-Yes -- I do understand.
-I think you must go now -- the key is on the floor.
-I'm not going -- You know I'm not going -- Let me stay here?
-I want to be alone.
-That is not so -- you don't want to be alone.
-I want to be alone --
-No -- You don't want to be alone at all -- You were in despair before -- If I left you, you'd feel worse than you did before, You must not be alone -- You mustn't cry -- you must forget... Tell me that I can stay with you -- tell me.
-The stage frays one's nerves... the discipline -- it's so exacting. Discipline means doing what you don't want to do and take no pleasure in doing. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever experienced the weariness that comes from discipline?
-I see -- you do only what you take pleasure in doing. You take pleasure in coming into a woman's bedroom and you come. You take pleasure in a dangerous climb onto a balcony, so you do it... And what is your pleasure now?
-Why do you smile?
-Because I can see something in the mirror that you cannot. My dear --
-What can you see?
-You are beautiful!
-No.
-I'm not going... You know that I'm not going... Do you think I could leave you alone here? After that --?
-What?
-The veronal -- you. I'm going to stay here with you.
-I want to be alone.
-Oh -- I was ambitious then -- ambition was in my blood -- no rest, no stopping. We were drilled like little soldiers -- We danced in the school of the Imperial Ballet, in St. Petersburg. I was little and slim but hard as diamond -- a duty machine -- No rest, no stopping. And then -- I became famous and whoever is famous
-I am Felix Benvenuto von Gaigern. My mother called me Flix.
-Flix. -- And how do you live? What kind of a person are you?
-I'm a prodigal son, the black sheep of a white flock -- I shall die on the gallows.
-Really?
-Really, I haven't a bit of character. None at all.
-No?
-When I was a little boy I was taught to ride and be a gentleman -- at school, it was a monastery, I learned to pray and lie -- and ---
-And?
-And then, in the war, to kill and hide. That's all.
-And what do you do -- now?
-I'm a gambler -- I'm running at large like a happy pig, devouring anything of life that pleases me, I really belong in jail
-Oh! What a picture -- and what else?
-I'm also a criminal and a hotel thief.
-That's a silly joke.
-Please look at me. You must believe me -- you must believe that I love you -- that I have never known what love is -- until last night.
-There.
-You may keep the pearls -- I don't want them any more -- I'll make you a present of them.
-I don't want them now.
-I'll not denounce you.
-I know.
-So --
-Yesterday I was a thief -- but now, --
-But now, you must go... I give you the pearls. But now you must go ---
-I wanted money desperately -- Can you understand? -- That's why I wanted the pearls. I was threatened -- I was desperately in need of a certain big sum of money. I've been following you -- I've admired you. But I have forced myself not to think about you -- Last night, at last, I managed to came into your room and -- and
-And now?
-Do you understand?
-Grusinskaya --
-Yes.
-You do believe that I really love you?
-Yes -- If I didn't believe that, I'd die after last night.
-I want to be good to you -- madly good.
-Suzette will be back here in a minute.
-I'll go -- good-bye.
-Shall I see you again?
-Suzette will be back here any minute.
-When are you leaving Berlin?
-Very early in the morning.
-For Vienna?
-Can't -- can't you -- Couldn't you come too -- I think it would be better -- for us -- for us both.
-Oh -- yes but -- later.
-Why later?
-I have no money now -- I must get some first -- I must get some.
-I'll give you what you need -- I have money.
-Oh no -- that would spoil everything. I'll -- I will manage somehow -- I'll manage myself. I will go with you. When does the train leave?
-Six twenty-seven in the morning... But the money?
-You must go now. Be careful on your way to your room.
-Don't do anything foolish -- I'm alarmed about you.
-Bless you...
-Are you coming to the theatre? Oh -- I shall dance tonight -- How I shall dance -- I want to feel that you are in the theatre.
-I can't.
-No?
-No! I can't explain now. Oh, look -- the pearls. You wear them now...
-Why do you think --
-Why?
-I'm worried about you.
-Don't.
-On the train?
-Yes -- I will be on the train.
-Till then.
-Thank you, sir.
-Not at all, sir.
-Permit me -- my name is Kringelein -- from Fredersdorf.
-I'm Baron von Gaigern.
-And this is Doctor Otternschlag.
-What's the matter, Mr. Kringelein?
-General Director Preysing! Baron, when I was sixteen years old, I started as an office boy in that man's factory --
-Then you know him?
-Baron, we must have gone a hundred miles an hour, at least...
-Yes, quite.
-I'm going to change and we'll meet for a drink in the Yellow Room.
-In the Yellow Room, where the music's playing and the ladies are?
-Hello -- sorry I'm late.
-Oh -- here you are, Baron. A drink -- A Louisiana flip?
-Hello, Mr. Kringelein. How do you feel now?
-A drink, Baron -- A Louisiana flip?
-The Baron is tired?
-No, Kringelein, not tired, -- just -- Well -- well --
-Perhaps this evening, Baron, we could go to the Casino -- the place we passed with the marvelous bright lights?
-I'd like to Kringelein, but I can't -- I am broke!
-Was the Baron joking, or is it really true that the Baron is -- in financial straits.
-Absolutely true, Kringelein and I have to raise some money immediately.
-What?
-I would be awfully glad to oblige, you've been so decent to me. Three hundred?
-If I could get into a game I might win some.
-Gambling! I'd like that. I have over six thousand eight hundred marks with me.
-If we could scare up some men to play.
-We could come to my room.
-Ready, Kringelein?
-Is that too much, Baron?
-No -- not at all.
-All right then.
-That was my last.
-You've lost everything?
-I've no luck.
-Drink to me, Kringelein -- it's my last chance.
-I take five hundred.
-Here -- here it is. Here's your pocketbook, Kringelein.
-Oh -- yes -- that's it -- you found it -- you found it for me, Baron.
-Goodnight, Kringelein.
-You're all right now -- it's very late -- goodnight, Kringelein.
-Good evening -- my key -- one sixty- eight.
-Good evening, Mr. Pimenov.
-Oh -- good evening, Baron.
-How's the beautiful lady?
-Grusinskaya -- well, to tell the truth, Baron -- tonight we are a little bit nervous. Were you at the theatre last night?
-Certainly -- always when Grusinskaya dances.
-Well -- last night was not so good.
-I thought she was splendid!
-It's always so quiet here.
-If you occupied the room next to Madam Grusinskaya, you would appreciate the quiet of a hotel lobby.
-My dear sir, I would gladly change rooms with you.
-The war.
-That is Doctor Otternschlag -- You know him?
-Yes -- He always seems to be waiting for something -- and nothing ever comes.
-The war dropped him here and forgot him.
-Perhaps you could present me now, Mr. Pimenov.
-Pardon me, the lady has urgent business here with me.
-Oh, let the poor devil alone.
-I think it would be much better if you went away.
-We shall see who remains here the longer.
-Aha! -- The Baron. What do you want here?
-I must have made a mistake.
-So that's how we stand, Baron.
-Look here, sir -- I'm completely at your mercy -- I'm desperate -- it's a matter of life or death -- I had to get some money -- tonight.
-Indeed you must, Baron -- you must. Humm -- humm, but you must go to jail, Baron, you're a thief.
-Be quiet.
-Hello! Hello! --
-Is that for me?
-No -- Madam Grusinskaya's car is to be brought.
-For me?
-No -- Madam Grusinskaya's car is not to be brought.
-For me?
-No -- letters to two-eighty.
-The stenographer is to go up -- Mr. Preysing telephoned.
-Madam Grusinskaya -- at once --
-The night clerk has already gone -- you are late.
-Man -- I was at the clinic the whole night -- there are no words to describe what my wife suffered.
-And the child isn't coming?
-No -- no -- not yet. Well, I mustn't let it interfere with my duty. Any news here?
-News? Yes -- killing in number one- sixty-four.
-What? -- Who? -- Whom?
-The big manufacturer killed Baron von Gaigern.
-Good heavens. What for?
-I don't know.
-Man -- that's terrible. He was a nice fellow -- I am sorry about him.
-It seems that he was a thief and an imposter.
-I don't believe it -- he was a real gentleman. I know people... I'm so tired I can hardly see out of my eyes. No sleep for two nights and so many duties and now this killing in the hotel -- that means a lot of work. But it's too bad about the Baron, you always felt better when he came along -- always
-Any letters?
-No, Doctor.
-Telegrams?
-No, Doctor.
-Anyone asked for me?
-Any letters?
-I came here from a long distance to stay at the Grand Hotel. I want a room -- a big room -- like you would give General Director Preysing -- I'm as good as Mr. Preysing -- I can pay like Mr. Preysing -- would you give him a little room, way up in the corner with the hot water pipes going -- bang
-This gentleman can have my room.
-Oh!
-Send his bags up to my room.
-Oh -- but -- I --
-You're tired. I can see that.
-Yes -- yes -- I am tired. I have been ill...
-I know -- I know -- when a man's collar is an inch too big for him -- I know he is ill.
-You will stay, Doctor -- if you have nothing better to do?
-Oh, but Doctor. Isn't this wonderful. To live -- to live -- in the Grand Hotel.
-The Grand Hotel.
-Oh, but Doctor. The music -- the champagne -- girls when they dance -- all the shining ice in those big silver things -- That's life --
-Life! -- Mr. Kringelein, you are drunk -- good night.
-Life is changing you, Mr. Kringelein.
-No pain, Mr. Kringelein?
-Barman -- whiskey -- For you, Mr. Kringelein?
-Well, Mr. Kringelein, are you getting what you're looking for?
-What, Doctor?
-A masculine paradise -- drink, the ladies, dancing...
-I had a very good opportunity, a young lady asked me to dance -- I ought to be able to dance, it seems to be very important.
-You must learn as quickly as your time allows -- Believe me Mr. Kringelein, a man who isn't with a woman is a dead man.
-Haven't you anyone -- Haven't you anybody -- you -- I mean -- Are you all alone in the world.
-I'm always alone -- I have been everything.
-Everything?
-Excuse me, gentlemen.
-Over -- over so soon -- it has just begun. Oh, the pain.
-Try and sleep, Kringelein, don't be afraid.
-There is no pocketbook here... On the floor probably.
-More than fourteen thousand marks... were in that pocketbook.
-Oh, I've got to find it.
-Stay where you are.
-You've nothing to fear, Kringelein
-If I could trouble the Baron to come and see this beautiful room. I have ordered champagne. Perhaps the Baroness could join us.
-Waiter, oh waiter! Wait a minute! We are having caviar -- it's expensive but that makes no difference -- I see the Baroness is laughing.
-You may laugh. Caviar and champagne may mean nothing to you, but to me -- they mean a great deal. You see, I'm ill and all of a sudden I got a fear of missing life. I don't want to miss life -- do you understand?
-You are funny. You speak of life as if it were a train you wanted to catch.
-I'm sure this beautiful room must appeal to your taste -- distinctive, don't you think? Velvet upholstery -- 'A-number one'. I'm in the textile trade and I know. And these are real silk drapes.
-Silk -- think of that -- silk -- they are, too.
-Her master's voice! I must go now -- goodbye -- thanks.
-Oh, don't go.
-I'm engaged for the evening.
-Oh, can anyone engage you for the evening?
-Good evening, Mr. Kringelein -- Where's the Baron?
-I'm waiting for him here. The Baron and I have been together all day. A hundred miles an hour -- in a motor car -- and in an aeroplane -- It was marvelous --
-Mr. Kringelein -- How you have changed, you look so nice.
-Oh, thank you, Miss Flaemm. Oh, please, Miss Flaemm -- Permit me, Miss Flaemm, won't you have something sweet -- a Louisiana flip. A Louisiana flip.
-No - absinthe.
-You like music?
-Yes -- it's stimulating -- a man might --
-A man might what?
-I don't know -- I'd like to do anything --
-Dance then?
-You must look at my face and not at the floor.
-Yes.
-You're trembling.
-I never danced before -- in public.
-You dance splendidly.
-I'm happy, Miss Flaemm.
-Really?
-Please -- please!
-Quick -- Mr. Kringelein.
-Oh -- oh, Miss Flaemmchen. It's you --
-Quick -- something awful -- awful has happened. Go -- go at once, -- Mr. Preysing --
-What's the matter?
-Oh -- I was thinking -- Poor Baron -- Lying there, his eyes so open.
-You loved the Baron, didn't you?
-Yes --
-So did I. He was friendly to me as no man ever was.
-Perhaps he really was a burglar -- But they don't kill a man for that.
-He was in desperate straits. He'd been trying to raise money all day. He laughed -- Poor devil! And then a man like Preysing kills him.
-I didn't like Preysing right off.
-Then why did you have anything to do with him?
-Money!
-Yes, of course, -- money!
-You don't understand that do you?
-Of course I do -- I never knew what money really meant till I started spending it. Do you know -- I can hardly believe that anything so beautiful should come to me from Preysing -- I'll take care of you. Will -- will you let me?
-What?
-You'll have a good time with me. Want to? I've got enough money. Ten thousand two hundred in my pocketbook. Three thousand four hundred that I won. It will last a long time. I can win more -- we'll travel.
-Yes -- to Paris? I wanted to go there always.
-Wherever you like. Here I'll give you the money I won, three thousand four hundred. Later you can have more.
-Later?
-When I -- I'm ill, Flaemmchen -- It will not be long -- I'll not last long. Will you stay with me until...
-Nonsense! We'll find a great doctor, he'll cure you. They can cure anything these days.
-Do you believe that you will have a better time with me than you would with Preysing?
-Oh yes, of course.
-Do you like me better?
-Am I!
-How do you know there is a Grand Hotel?
-What...! --
-I'm the stenographer.
-Moreover --
-Moreover...
-Do you work in Justice Zinnowitz' office?
-No -- only occasional jobs.
-Tired?
-You pay me.
-You're a very unusual stenographer --
-Moreover...
-I don't see why it's unusual for a stenographer to be pretty -- if she does her work well, -- seems so silly. I don't know why they don't like girls like me in offices. Personally, I hate offices -- I'd much rather be in the movies.
-Movies?
-What is this?
-You...
-You...
-Moreover...
-What?
-Only in mutual advantages -- moreover.
-What brown hands you have.
-That's from skiing.
-Skiing?
-A man? -- To Switzerland? -- That must have been nice -- for him.
-Moreover... He was a lucky man -- that man.
-Don't misunderstand me. I'm a married man -- with grownup daughters. Uh --
-Moreover -- Do you mind if I smoke? I went to Florence once, too.
-No.
-Moreover, the possibility of the successful termination of negotiations now pending with the Manchester Cotton Company...
-Not too quickly.
-What?
-You're a little too fast.
-Can't you understand me?
-I understand you perfectly.
-Have you got it now?
-Cotton Company --
-Should throw a great weight into the balance...
-How nice -- your daughters?
-My daughters -- yes, my daughters.
-Is that Mrs. Preysing.
-Definitely off.
-Oh -- too bad. Did you quarrel?
-Miss Flaemm.
-Hello!
-I must speak with you, Miss Flaemm.
-Presently, Mr. Preysing.
-Come and dance with me, Mr. Kringelein.
-I must speak to you, Miss Flaemm -- business.
-Tomorrow morning.
-No -- now.
-Now, children, no fighting -- save that for the office. Let's have our dance.
-Oh, yes, Mr. Preysing?
-Sit here. Cognac -- for you?
-I'm going to keep an eye on that Kringelein fellow. I'll find out where he gets the money to hang around the Grand Hotel.
-Well -- you want me?
-Yes.
-Well?
-I must go to England -- at once.
-Well?
-You see, I'd like to take a secretary with me for my correspondence and -- humm -- humm -- for company on the trip -- I'm nervous -- I need somebody -- I don't know if you quite understand me. You said you have travelled with gentlemen -- and I mean --
-I understand perfectly.
-What do you think your salary would be -- for such a trip?
-Wait -- I must figure it up. First, I'll need -- clothes -- shoes -- it's cold in England in March, I'll need a suit... You'd want me to look nice?
-Of course -- of course.
-A thousand marks --
-Can you pay some attention to me?
-Oh, yes.
-Insolent young cub!
-You mean Baron von Gaigern?
-Baron!
-You are late. I've been waiting for you -- waiting.
-I had to arrange about the trip.
-You're sweet.
-Come here.
-Oh -- careful, Mr. Preysing.
-Call me -- do you know -- would you -- would you like to call me by my first name?
-Oh, no.
-Why not?
-I couldn't do that, you're a stranger to me.
-You're a funny little creature, Flaemmchen. I can't make you out.
-And ask me what it's costing us to hammer it down.
-Exactly.
-If the Preysing people get the Manchester contract, we shall certainly merge with the Preysing company -- but if they haven't they're ruined -- Preysing will have to declare himself.
-Oh -- ho -- you want legal aid against us? -- The whole thing seems to me to be very simple.
-What we want to know about is Manchester.
-What?
-They turn out marvelous material in Manchester.
-There's a lot of business to be done with the Manchester Cotton Company. They've the whole English market right in their hands. Have you any connections with -- Manchester?
-We have a good many connections in England, naturally.
-I mean with the Manchester people?
-We are here to discuss our merger. Naturally I can make no statement at this time. We must begin at the beginning.
-All right.
-Oh -- yes -- I beg your pardon!
-I'm laying before you the last general statement of our concern. Active capital, plant and machinery, raw material and finished product -- for instance -- mop rags --
-I'd like to wait for Justice Zinnowitz, before I commit myself.
-Oh -- Preysing, Preysing --
-No water -- What a place!
-Now to proceed with the projected merger, the advantages for the Saxonia are so obvious...
-Oh -- now let's talk like adults. You want to tell us now a along story of what your factory can do. We know all that you could tell us and if you tell the truth it wouldn't sound so good. When you first approached us...
-Tentative my foot -- a month before this your old father-in-law came very privately and scratched at my door.
-Scratched -- We did not take the initiative.
-I know you did -- I said you did --
-Evil days -- I've shown you here -- -- my company exports to the Balkans alone, sixty-five thousand marks worth of mop rags a year.
-Mop rags -- mop rags -- we're interested in something quite different!
-Sorry, Preysing.
-You've decided against the merger?
-Yes --
-Then, it's all over?
-Goodbye, Preysing, I hope you pull through. This is a very bad time to be in such a crisis. We've...
-Why talk -- it's over -- it's over -- it's finished. You've broken off negotiations. You did it. You're calling them off. You had nothing on your mind all day, but Manchester, -- Manchester -- Manchester. You don't suppose for one moment that I'm such a fool as not to have something that I could say definitely about Manchester.
-What?
-Oh no -- no -- the session is over. Let's go, it's off. Thank you, gentlemen.
-If you actually have news from Manchester then...
-Gentlemen, I am now free to announce... ...that the deal between my firm and the Manchester Cotton Company has been successfully negotiated.
-I thought we'd suspended negotiations, gentlemen.
-Under these circumstances it's quite a different matter.
-See you soon, Preysing. Next week we'll meet and discuss further details.
-How clear is Manchester?
-Since, on the eleventh of June of this year -- when the first negotiations for a merger...
-Thank God we're beginning at the beginning.
-As you remember it -- when you approached us...
-...and let me say again for the tenth time... ...you people were quite ready for the merger. You declared yourselves... fully agreed on all the terms -- Why should the signing of these articles be suddenly held up?
-Mr. Preysing has too scrupulous a regard for certainties...
-Here's my signature -- here Preysing, sign here.
-Nine-thirty, Mr. Preysing keeps us waiting.
-Shall I tell them again?
-Why waste time -- it's getting late.
-You see -- what we are interested in --
-You're a deep one.
-Always the performance -- every day the performance -- time for the performance. I think, Suzette, I have never been so tired in my life. Veronal didn't even help me to sleep.
-I can't dance tonight --
-It will pass -- it will pass -- come.
-Let us cancel the engagement.
-But, Madam. cannot do that.
-Mon Dieu -- the pearls -- if they were to break --
-Orchids come again, Madam -- no card -- I think perhaps they are from the same young man -- he is at the end of the corridor -- tall -- he walks like a soldier -- Madam must have noticed how often he is in the elevator with us. Last night for instance --
-Ah, oui -- the car is here for Madam.
-Oh, come, Madam -- please come.
-Good morning, Suzette.
-Madam has slept well?
-Oh, yes, Suzette.
-Madam will dress now, it is late.
-Five minutes, Suzette, come back in five minutes. I'll ring.
-Madam should sleep.
-I've done my hair differently -- do you like that?
-When a lady falls in love she does her hair differently.
-In the middle of the night -- those flowers make me think of a funeral. Laurels and tube-roses. Oh, think, Suzette -- the Villa and the sun at Tremezzo -- quiet -- simple -- happy -- we'll have a guest, Suzette.
-Yes, Madam. And now Madam will sleep. It is not long 'till the train.
-Madam, it is Mr. Meierheim -- he is waiting downstairs.
-What is this that you have cancelled your car? Who am I that I should wait like a fool at the door? And here on a whim, you cancel your car. Have you forgotten there is a performance? Do you know the time? Or, are we all mad? Am I your manager?... Have we a contract? Have we obligations? Am I blind? ...Or is
-I'm cancelling the engagement.
-Oh! Madam is cancelling the engagement. Madam has chosen a funny time for such a funny joke. Ha, ha, ha -- hurry, come on. Tonight -- there's a line in front of the theatre since six o'clock. The house is jammed to the roof.
-The house is not full -- Is it really full?
-Packed to the ceiling. Hurry -- get dressed. And what an audience -- the French Ambassador -- American Millionaires -- Princess Ratzville -- er -- er --
-Suzette -- I told you not to bring the pearls. I will not wear them tonight.
-Why not?
-Take them back, Suzette.
-Hurry, Suzette.
-I suppose I can cancel the Vienna engagement.
-I wish to be alone.
-Come along, oh, Madam, come along. The train will be going.
-Oh, the sun -- it will be sunny in Tremezzo --
-Every seat for the opening has been sold at Vienna. Sold out for three days.
-It is time for the performance.
-It is not stage fright -- it's something more --
-What -- what is it? Last night...
-Last night?... There was no applause.
-There was -- there was.
-Good morning, Pimenov.
-Gru -- you are positively radiant.
-He will be on the train.
-Mr. Kringelein will take room number one-seventy-six, one of our most expensive rooms. It is large and on the front with bath.
-Does that mean that the bath is my own? --- Private?
-Certainly, sir.
-Will Mr. Kringelein kindly register.
-Again?
-I wish you a very good evening, Mr. Preysing. You are staying here, too, Mr. Preysing?
-I don't know you.
-Mr. Kringelein will be a good friend and not accept your invitation to dance.
-I could not think of not accepting.
-Well now, Miss Flaemm, we can talk.
-Some champagne, Miss Flaemm?
-You may go, Mr. Kringelein.
-Does the world belong to you, Mr. Preysing?
-What is this insolence?
-Do you think you have free license to be insulting? Believe me you have not. You think you're superior, but you're quite an ordinary man.
-Who are you? -- An embezzler most likely.
-An embezzler -- you're going to take that back, right here in the presence of this young lady -- who do you think you're talking to? You think I'm dirt, if I'm dirt, you're a lot dirtier, Mr. Industrial Magnate Preysing.
-You're discharged.
-Me?
-Oh -- the Baron -- the Baron.
-He tried to rob me -- he is dead --
-My best friend -- poor, Baron -- dead -- just like that.
--- We must do something...
-Yes, the police must be called.
-No -- no -- wait -- the man was a burglar -- he was going to steal my money.
-Oh, no -- no -- not the Baron.
-Where is that girl -- she was working with him -- she enticed me into her room.
-Her room -- oh -- I see, Mr. Preysing -- I understand, Mr. General Director Preysing.
-I can answer for this, it was self- defense -- I can answer for this -- but that girl -- the scandal -- my wife -- my daughters, you know them?
-Yes, I know them --
-The scandal -- we are men -- you -- you could take that affair of the young lady upon yourself -- take her and hold your tongue. Then you can travel -- I'll give you anything -- anything -- she was with you.
-How much -- how much do you want -- you need money -- you have nothing.
-If you will wait one moment, sir.
-I won't wait -- I can't wait -- I waited three days before I got a room at all and what a room that is.
-It's a very nice room and inexpensive, sir.
-Just one moment, sir.
-The gentleman is dissatisfied with room number five fifty-nine.
-We will wait.
-How is the house?
-Terrible. After this, no more ballets for me. Jazz -- Just jazz.
-If the house is empty again, I don't know --
-What's the use of asking, Gru -- he is at the train -- He will be there.
-Four minutes past. Please come.
-Come, Lisaveta, he will be there -- he will be there.
-Ach! Here you are, Doctor Zinnowitz.
-Have I kept you waiting?
-Waiting -- I'm waiting for news from Manchester.
-No news yet?
-No. No word.
-Everything depends on the Manchester merger.
-I know -- I know.
-No news from Manchester yet -- Do you think we ought to postpone the conference?
-Good heavens no. That'd create the very worst impression. You must be optimistic. You must convince them. You know as well as I do that the merger must go through.
-Yes -- the merger must go through -- But I am used to making my deals on a solid basis. I am not a liar. I am an honest business man -- a good husband and father -- I have a sense of honor -- I have nothing to conceal. I couldn't live happily otherwise.
-Well, don't get excited about it. We agreed that the merger with the Saxonia people must go through.
-I want to dictate my statement for tomorrow. I can't speak without notes. I like to have things down before me in black and white.
-I'll see you in the morning then, at the conference. Everything'll be all right, Preysing... Don't worry. Goodnight.
-Good morning, gentlemen -- I see the conference is already underway.
-Oh, here you are, Justice Zinnowitz -- I'm at cross-purposes with these gentlemen -- will you clear up the situation?
-I can make no statement about Manchester at this time.
-Next week.
-What's the matter with you?
-Bluff -- Bluff -- all bluff.
-What's bluff?
-That.
-'Deal with Manchester definitely off! "Preysing, oh -- I'd never have thought it of you.
-No one would have thought it of me. I've been getting rusty in Fredersdorf. Well, if bluff is what the world wants I guess I can put up as big a bluff as anyone. From now on...
-You must go to Manchester at once yourself and really see it through.
-Yes -- I must go to England -- I was desperate -- Now I don't care -- This sort of thing goes to a man's head.
-What you need is some relaxation.
-Yes -- that's what I want -- I'd like to tear loose -- I'd like a drink. I'd like to go down to that dancing place. I'd like to start something.
-I can understand that -- after your -- uh --
-Say it -- say it -- my lie -- it's the first time in thirty years that I've ever... Where's that stenographer? Miss Flaemm...
-What do you want with her?
-I want to see her, I want to do some dictating -- report of the conference for my father-in-law.
-She had an engagement in the Yellow Room at five o'clock -- she was in a hurry.
-Zinnowitz, would you say she was pretty?
-Pretty as a picture.
-Let's go down and find her -- I need a drink -- Come along Zinnowitz. I don't know anything about women -- been married for twenty-six years.
-Hi, Bobo.
-Well, I guess so. You're the guy I work for.
-How'd you figure you were gonna get away with that?
-I'm not getting away with anything, Bobo.
-You're fuckin right you're not. How much did your pals cut you in for on that nag, huh? Or did they give you the same kind of screwing you gave me?
-One question. Do you want to stick to that story, or do you want to keep your teeth?
-I want to keep my teeth.
-Now I'll ask you another. You think I got no contacts out here? That nag paid off at just the opening price. There wasn't hardly a flutter on the tote board from the time the odds were posted. There ain't enough action to tickle the tote, but you claim a ten grand win! You send me ten thousand dollars, like I'm some mark you
-Bobo, no, I --
-You wanna talk to me straight up?
-My son --
-Your what?
-My son was in the hospital --
-What the fuck are you doin with a son?
-He left home a long time ago. He was in the hospital, up in Los Ang gleez, real sick.
-Motherhood.
-I never fucked up before, Bobo.
-I got a lot of people work for me, Lilly. I can't have shit like this.
-It'll never happen again. I swear.
-You're calling the shots.
-You got any kind of long coat in the car? Anything you can wear home over your clothes?
-No.
-You ever hear about the oranges?
-You mean, the insurance frammis?
-You hit a person with the oranges in the towel, they get big, awful looking bruises, but they don't really get hurt, not if you do it right. It's for working scams against insurance companies.
-And if you do it wrong?
-It can louse up your insides. You can get puh, puh, puh...
-Permanent damage.
-Almost forgot. That ten grand of yours. It's in the envelope by the door.
-Oh, thanks, Bobo.
-You want a drink?
-Gee, I better not, if it's okay. I still gotta drive back up to Los Ang-gleez.
-He's a good kid. A salesman.
-Not skimming a thing, Lilly?
-Oh, well, you know. I just clip a buck here and a buck there. Not enough to notice.
-That's right. Take a little, leave a little.
-A person that don't look out for himself is too dumb to look out for anybody else. He's a liability, right, Bobo?
-You're a thousand percent right!
-Or else he's working an angle. If he doesn't steal a little, he's steeling big.
-You know it, Lilly.
-You know, I like that suit, Bobo. I don't know what there is about it, but it somehow makes you look taller.
-Yeah? You really think so? A lot of people been telling me the same thing.
-Well, you can tell them I said they're right. I better get going. Roy'll wonder where I am.
-Worries about his mother, eh? Give him a hug for me.
-Your kid's in the back here. He's crying.
-Roy? He's always crying.
-The kids beat him up, because his home life is, uh, different.
-Come on, kid, let's see if there's any food in the house.
-Evening. Welcome to Phoenix.
-Good evening. I'd like a single for tonight.
-I'm a very light sleeper, traffic noise keeps me wide awake all night.
-Those trucks. I know exactly what you mean.
-I'll put you in one thirty-one. Very quiet. Faces the desert.
-Sounds perfect. I can park my car back there?
-Right in front of the room.
-And I'll want to leave an early wake-up call.
-Mary Beth, what we have here, uh...
-Oh, I told Mister Hebbing all about it, how brilliant you are at making money for your special clients!
-Mary Beth, I hope you aren't spreading this good news too widely.
-Well, I'll have to take your word for it, Mary Beth. Here's your money.
-Henry, next time, couldn't Mister Hebbing --
-Mary Beth! This has never been anything but --
-Well. If Mary Beth vouches for you, and if she told you the story already...
-So here we are!
-Want a look?
-Come take a look. An entire-suite of main-frame computer.
-You ruined me! You destroyed me!
-Cole, it'll be all right. Honey?
-Can't move.
-It's just the strain again, the stress. We'll take a vacation.
-Demon! Demon! That's why you can walk on it! Demon!
-Well, that's what the law's for, isn't it?
-And I don't just mean the SEC. We could have the FBI breathing down our necks.
-I certainly hope not.
-Loose talk is the one thing I worry about.
-The Tokyo Exchange is nine hours ahead of us, New York one hour behind. There isn't one hour of the day when both are open. Information moves, but it has to wait. Now, we have a young fellow working here -- Do you know what a hacker is, Mister Hebbing?
-One of those computer geniuses, isn't it?
-Well, you've got your information ahead of New York, I see that.
-Every once in a while, a major change comes through. We have seven seconds to take advantage, put our buy order, our sell order, into the computer in New York before the Tokyo data comes in.
-Not much time.
-We have to be ready. We have to have the money, and we have to know what the information means, and we have to move immediately.
-Seven seconds. I don't see how you do it.
-Here you are! Two rich people!
-I must admit, Mister Fellowes, I had moments I was worried.
-The ambulance is on the way, for what good it will do.
-What? He's going to be all right!
-Mrs. Dillon, your son was in some sort of accident. He's had an internal hemorrhage, he's bleeding to death inside.
-Well, make it stop!
-His blood pressure is under a hundred. I don't think he'll live to get to the hospital.
-Yes, yes, but that's --
-Bobo wants you to go on to Delmar.
-Delmar? I never go out to California. That's a thousand miles from here.
-Nine hundred. Bobo needs somebody to handle playback this time. Come on, Lilly, you don't argue with Bobo.
-I know.
-Take two, three days. Call when you get there.
-Mrs. Langtry, I'm sorry.
-Why? What's wrong?
-You are a valued customer, as you know.
-But what's wrong?
-I can't understand a thing like this. It's something you almost never see.
-What is?
-This is some of the finest filigreed platinum I've ever seen. But the stones, no. They're not diamonds, Mrs. Langtry.
-But they must be! They cut glass!
-It was a gift. It isn't worth anything at all?
-All right.
-I hope you're not too badly disappointed with us, Mrs. Langtry.
-It's not your fault.
-You'll give us an opportunity to serve you again, I hope. If there's anything you think we might be interested in...
-I have only one thing now. Are you interested?
-Well, I'd have to see it, of course.
-Whadaya say?
-Kaggs. Home office.
-Roy Dillon.
-What's up?
-That was a pretty backhanded compliment. If I let people get away with things like that, I wouldn't be a good salesman.
-You're right. I apologize. But I still want to talk to you.
-When I said you being the best salesman here didn't say much, I meant for us. I know your record with Sarber and Webb, and I'd say you're a top-flight man, but you've had no incentive. No one walking on your heels. Just a lot of half asses, so the tendency's been not to stretch yourself. I'm bouncing the slobs, incidentally.
-So I heard.
-Makes no difference to me if they're only on commission. If they don't make good money, they're not giving us good representation, and we can't afford to have them around. Ever supervise salesmen?
-Just myself.
-Sounds like a good Idea.
-What? Me?
-That's just the first year. If you aren't worth a lot more than that the second year, I'll kick you out. What do you say?
-Well, uh... No.
-No?
-I can't take that job! I mean, I mean, I can't take it right away. I'm still recuperating, I just dropped in to say hello, see everybody --
-I didn't realize. Yeah, you do look a little pale. How soon will you be ready? A week?
-But you need a man right now. It wouldn't be fair to you to --
-I take care of the being-fair-to-me department. Things've gone to hell this long, they can go a little longer.
-See you in a week, Roy. I can call you Roy?
-And I'm Perk. Short for Percy, I'm afraid.
-Good to have you back, Roy. I was just looking at --
-Mr. Kaggs, I'm sorry.
-You're turning me down? Makes no sense, Roy.
-I guess I'm just not a leader of men.
-Oh, come on, Roy.
-The truth is, Mr. Kaggs --
-Perk, remember?
-Okay, fine. Perk, the truth is, I like things the way they are now. Pick my own hours, have time for, uh, other activities...
-A well-rounded life. I respect that. But it has to have a center, Roy, something you care about, something you can think about.
-Maybe I'm just not ready for that yet.
-Well, Roy, if that's the way you feel, I won't badger you. Don't want to lose you as a salesman, too.
-Oh, I'd like to stay on. Just keep everything the way it was.
-That's what we'll do, then. But I tell you what, Roy. Before I hire anybody else, I'll ask you one last time. Fair enough?
-So what's your story today?
-They twisted my arm.
-They knocked out my tooth!
-Sure I am. What made you turn up, after all these years?
-I'm working down in San Diego. Just for a few weeks. Thought I'd drop in on my long-lost son.
-Well... You're all right now, I guess. I have to get down to the track.
-Thanks, uh, Lilly.
-Don't mention it.
-I guess I owe you my life.
-What happened to your hand?
-Just a little accident. I went by your place, picked up your mall. Just bills, I'll take care of them.
-I can take care of my own bills, Lilly.
-Whatever you say. The manager says your boss called. Really pulled the wool over everybody's eyes, huh?
-What are you talking about? So I've got a job. So what?
-Stop kidding me! Four years in a town like Los Ang-gleez, and a peanut selling job is the best you can do? You expect me to believe that?
-It's there. The boss called, you said so yourself.
-I like those.
-You do not! Roy Dillon? Cornball clown pictures? Commission salesman? It's all a front, isn't it? You're on the grift, I know you are. You're working some angle, and don't tell me you're not because I wrote the book!
-You're one to talk. Still running playback money for the mob.
-That's me. That's who I am. You were never cut out for the rackets, Roy, and if you --
-Not as tough as you, huh?
-Up to you.
-My boss is a guy named Bobo Justus, back in Baltimore. When a long shot gets too much action, I have to put money on that horse at the track, because it's the only way to get the odds down.
-Sure.
-That was my choice, nothing to do with you. I took a chance, and it didn't work out.
-Bluebell came in?
-Lucky? You call that lucky?
-You don't put up with that! Nobody has to put up with that!
-I tripped over a chair.
-Get off the grift, Roy.
-Why?
-I just give you your life. What you do with it is up to you.
-Roy! What are you doing in San Diego?
-If you come out to the track, don't know me.
-What's that?
-Four grand. For the hospital. Is that enough?
-Roy, I don't want money from you.
-I pay my debts.
-Expecting visitors?
-You ought to put a bandage on that.
-I thought... I was hoping we could play it straight with one another.
-I guess not. You'll be heading east from here, huh?
-After the meet. Back to Baltimore.
-Well... nice to see you again, Lilly.
-Well, sure, Roy. You want me to drive up --? Okay, fine, come on down. It won't be a home-cooked meal, you know.
-Going somewhere?
-Somewhere else, that's for sure.
-I just came back from Phoenix.
-Oh, yeah? Is the frame holding?
-Looks very solid, Lilly. Sit down. Take a minute, tell me about it.
-I've really got to --
-You're dead, Lilly, it worked.
-Not for long. Not when they do a fingerprint check.
-Why should they? The cops are satisfied.
-Bobo won't be. He'll spend the money to make sure.
-Myra followed you, huh?
-She must have been the one that blew me off with Bobo. I guess to get me running. Did you tell her about my stash?
-No.
-No, you wouldn't. That's what she was after, though. But why hit on me?
-I wouldn't go in on a deal with her. She blamed you for it.
-As though you do what I say.
-I sat in there with her, I thought, what do I do now? Run and I've got Bobo and the law after me. Stay, and how do I explain?
-It is, isn't it? And maybe it's a break for me after all. I've been wanting out of the racket for years, and now I'm out. I can make a clean start, and --
-I'm sorry. I hated to take your money, but --
-I need this, Roy. I can't run without money, and if I can't run I'm dead.
-You must have some money.
-Just a few bucks.
-And Myra's stuff?
-Her credit cards. How far am I gonna get with that?
-Far enough. Maybe up to San Francisco. Or St. Louis, someplace new. Start over.
-At what?
-You're smart, Lilly, and you're good-looking. You won't have any trouble finding a job.
-A job? I've never had a legit job in my life!
-Well, you're gonna start, if you hope to live through this. A square job and a quiet life. You start showing up at the track or the hot spots and Bobo's boys will be all over you.
-Roy, I know what to do with myself! It's a big world out there.
-Not any more. Lilly, listen, I'm giving you good advice. I'm following it myself.
-What?
-I thought it over, and you were right. You wanted me out of the rackets, and now --
-Roy, that's fine, but I don't have time for this. Bobo --
-I thought you'd be happy for me. After all, you --
-Bobo isn't after you! Bobo's after me, and he's goddamn good! But so am I. I'm a survivor, Roy. I survive.
-I know you do, so that's why --
-And to survive, my way, I need money. Bobo knows about the stash in the car, so I didn't dare touch it, not if Lilly Dillon's dead. So that leaves this.
-You want a drink?
-I don't think so. You probably shouldn't either.
-No, but I'm goddamn thirsty. Ice water?
-Yeah, sure, that sounds nice.
-You don't know what I'd do, Roy. You have no idea. To live.
-I know what's bugging you, of course.
-Oh? I didn't know anything was.
-Oh, really? You've got a legitimate complaint, Roy, I don't deny that. I wasn't a very good mother when you were a kid.
-A bad mother. By any standards. I've thought about it, you know, from your side, since then. I know just how bad I was.
-Uh-huh.
-I wonder did you ever think about it from my side.
-Never.
-What do you want me to do? Pin a halo on you? You're doing a pretty good job of that yourself.
-And making you feel bad at the same time, huh? But that's the way I am, you know, the way I've always been. Always picking on poor little Roy.
-For God's sake, Lilly!
-I gave you your life twice. I'm asking you to give me mine once. I need the money.
-You're getting off the grift?
-That's right.
-That's good. You don't really belong on this side of the fence, you know.
-I don't?
-If you stayed a crook, do you think you'd live to be my ripe age?
-I don't see why not.
-Well, uh...
-Sure, sure, that doesn't count. That's different.
-Well, it doesn't matter, does it? I'm getting out.
-And that's why you've got to get rid of this money. If you keep it around, it'll just make you think how clever you are. It'll be a temptation to get back into the game.
-If I should get out of the racket, that goes double for you. That's why you've got to change your life completely, go to some town, get a square job, live like a john yourself. If you try to do it your way, what future is in it?
-A future. The only future I've got.
-That money wouldn't last forever. And then what? You'd be back in some other part of the rackets. Another Bobo Justus to slap you around and burn holes in your hands. This way, you've got to go the square route. You could send me a card when you're settled, I could maybe help out sometimes...
-) That's what it is, isn't it? Keep me down. Your turn to be in charge, have the power.
-Roy... What if I told you I wasn't really your mother? That we weren't related?
-There's nothing more to talk about.
-Lilly, Jesus, what are you doing?
-Is there nothing I can do, Roy, nothing at --
-You heard the shower, didn't you?
-Joe, I thought I was gonna be all right by now, I just need a little more --
-It isn't the owner, Myra, it's my wife. She knows what's going on. This time, I gotta have the money.
-Joe, could we talk it over? Do you want a drink?
-My wife sent me here, Myra. For the money. She's waiting.
-I'll have it tonight. Nine o'clock? Ten?
-This time...
-I didn't teach you that.
-Let me see how you did that one.
-Scram. Go home.
-I can't. I just left home.
-You're too young. You should be in school.
-Where's the five?
-Well, well. In a real hurry, are we?
-You aren't taking me for granted, are you?
-That isn't granite. If that fell on me, it wouldn't hurt at all.
-Are you sure?
-Roy?
-Mm?
-Look at me.
-Oh, I am, baby, believe me.
-Roy? It this all we have?
-All? It ain't bad.
-What are you talking abut, Myra? Marriage?
-Ow! Hey, what are you trying to do, throw me off my game?
-You were bleeding inside, honey. Remember that bruise you had?
-You called the doctor, huh?
-Well, no, Roy. Your mother found you.
-Her job.
-I want to know everything about you.
-I don't see why you're still here. You look healthy to me.
-I just do what the doctor says, babe.
-You're just comfortable, that's all. You don't even ask to go home. You just lie around, let your mama take care of you.
-Mama!
-Who else is paying for all this? You badmouth the woman all the time, but you sure do take the payoffs she gives you.
-I'll pay Lilly back, don't you worry about that.
-I don't like to come here, Roy. Every time I do, your mother comes in and makes remarks.
-That's just Lilly's way.
-And you never defend me. You're afraid of her.
-Oh, don't be stupid.
-Get well soon.
-Every day in every way.
-I don't see why we have to take the train.
-What if we want to drive somewhere while we're there?
-Big spender.
-No.
-You were right, I had to get out of that hospital. Nothing wrong with me any more.
-I'll sign that affidavit.
-Great to get away, take it easy. Next week, I'll get back to work.
-You already went back to work.
-What?
-I watched you. Working the tap on those soldier boys.
-Working the what?
-The tap. What you do for a living.
-I'm a salesman.
-You're on the grift. Same as me.
-Myra, I'm not following this.
-You talk the lingo. What's your pitch?
-The long end. Big con.
-Nobody does that single-o.
-I was teamed ten years with the best in the business. Cole Langley.
-I've heard the name.
-It was beautiful. And getting better all the time.
-Is that right?
-He didn't think they were risks. He was so good, Roy, he could just play with the mark.
-And when he got serious?
-He'd explain he had to have cash, so there wouldn't be any paper trail for the SEC. And a lot of cash, or it wasn't worth while. The least we ever took was forty thousand, and the most was one hundred eighty-five thousand dollars! From one sucker!
-I thought these people were broke.
-No, no, Roy, just cash poor. They had savings accounts, stocks to sell, houses to mortgage. Sell their wife's jewelry. Oh, they had a lot of money, when they put their minds to it. Or when I put their minds to it. I stayed with them, that's the roper's job, made them get up every penny they could raise, turn it all over to
-And a month later, the sucker calls the cops and you're on the run.
-No no! He never calls the cops, not after we give him the blow-off.
-Oh, Roy, it was great! We were rolling in dough, lived wherever we wanted, only pulled two or three scams a year.
-What happened to Cole?
-He retired.
-Where?
-Upstate.
-Upstate where?
-Atascadero.
-I just bet you are, too. And now you're trying to rope me.
-Join up with you! I watched you, Roy, I've been watching you, wondering if I should talk about this at all, or maybe just...
-Take a hike, you mean?
-I need a partner, Roy. I need an inside man, and you're it. You could be as wonderful as Cole.
-I don't know, Myra, I never had partners. I never needed them.
-Think about it. Okay?
-I still don't see why we have to have separate rooms. You expect your father to come through?
-Separate bathrooms, darling. I will not lay out all my cosmetics for you to knock over.
-Things a man isn't supposed to know.
-You don't mind, really, do you, Roy? It's been such a wonderful evening, I guess I just wore myself out.
-Yeah?
-Open your door.
-What? What for?
-You -- I don't know.
-) If you could have seen your face when I told you good night! You looked so, so... Ah!
-You were gone for a while.
-I went out to Delmar.
-) The track? Did you run into Lilly?
-I saw her.
-She didn't see you, in other words.
-I'm not trying to make trouble, Roy. It's just, she's always so nasty to me, I thought, who is she to be so high and mighty. I saw her out there, and I called a friend of mine in Baltimore, so now I know who she is.
-You must have some very knowledgeable friends.
-I'm well connected, Roy, Cole introduced me to a lot of people. Very valuable. Valuable for us.
-Running your broker scam, you mean.
-You and me, Roy. What a team we'll make. We think alike; we get along together. Once or twice a year we take some slob, the rest of the time we live like this. You won't regret this, Roy.
-Regret what? I didn't say I was coming aboard.
-But why not? I thought it was settled. What's holding you back?
-You mean, it would be too tough to give me a turndown here. Easier on home grounds.
-And hello to you, too.
-I called a fellow I know in Tulsa, the one who plays my chauffeur. There's a sucker there he says is made for us. And a boroker that just shut down, we can use their office, not change a thing! Now, I can scrape up ten grand without much trouble. That leaves fifteen or twenty for your end. We could start this weekend, get
-Wait a minute! When did this happen, that we're partners?
-What?
-The last I looked, we were just talking things over.
-But the setup's there. It's there now.
-I don't think I need it.
-You're too good for the small-time, Roy. Move up to where there's big dough to be made, and you don't have to stick your neck out every day.
-Don't I get any say in this?
-No! Because I --
-That's what I say.
-What?
-What I say is, no. We don't do partners.
-For Christ's sake, why not?
-Mostly, because you scare the shit out of me. I've seen people like you before, baby. Double-tough and sharp as they come, and you get what you want or else. But you don't make it work forever.
-Bullshit!
-What is it? What's going on?
-I'm happy the way I am.
-By God, it's your mother. It's Lilly.
-) What?
-What's that?
-You watch that mouth.
-Roy Dillon?
-Yes?
-Lieutenant Pierson, Phoenix police. I have a car here.
-I realize this is a shock.
-Well, mostly, I don't believe it.
-That's natural.
-No. I mean, I don't believe it. Lilly is not a suicide. I know my mother, nothing would make her check out.
-I'm sorry, it was her all right. Her gun, even.
-Gun?
-I grant you, it's a little odd, shoot yourself with a gun with a silencer on it, but it was hers, all right. It really is your mother, Mister Dillon.
-It may be Lilly, but it isn't suicide.
-Do you have any particular reason to say that?
-My mother... Well, I guess it doesn't matter now. She worked for gamblers. She always knew they might turn on her some day.
-Not that it matters. This is the morgue?
-You up to it now?
-Sure. Let's get it over.
-One thing I have to caution you about. A gunshot wound...
-Yes, I know, I know.
-Well, uh, you know, she ate the gun.
-What?
-I'm sorry, that's an unfortunate phrase, it slipped out, I'm, to tell you the truth, Mr. Dillon, this isn't an everyday occurrence around here.
-Ate the gun. Oh.
-Someone who knows her well could still identify her, that's not the problem. It's just there's, uh, it's likely to be a shock.
-Not many laughs in this room, eh?
-Oh, Jesus.
-No question, huh?
-That's that, then.
-Mr. Simms.
-Why yes, Mr. Dillon. Here's a potential new neighbor, looking at--
-Well, thank you. And thank them.
-Sickness comes to us all, Mister Dillon.
-That's true, Mr. Simms.
-We never know when and we never know why. We never know how. The only blessed thing we know is, it'll be at the most inconvenient and unexpected time. Just when you've got tickets to the World Series. And that's the way the permanent waves.
-Well, I'm back now. I just wanted you to know. Gotta rush.
-No thanks, I'm not thirsty.
-Why am I here?
-They said on the phone you were assigned to the Meyers case.
-With all due respect, detective, you can't go blaming every brutal murder in Illinois on Michael Meyers.
-Pamela Whittington was a long time associate of Dr. Loomis. Her home office was ransacked. It was chock full of Loomis' files on Meyers. It'd say that makes Meyers a suspect, wouldn't you?
-Well, when you put it that way.
-Right. So why don't we get on with this investigation?
-One set of muddy shoe prints.
-Where, judging by the looks of the finger and palm prints, she struggles to open the window before banging on it like hell.
-Unable to escape, she turns and attacks the killer, but doesn't connect.
-The killer knocks the knife out of her hand with the wrought-iron poker.
-As which point she drops to her knees in pain...
-Impressive, Blake. Where'd you learn how to do that?
-Carter.
-It's Blake. Meet me at Grand View.
-Where?
-The cemetery...
-You take all your dates here. Blake?
-Only the real stiffs.
-I can be real stiff.
-That's it?
-Care to join me?
-Come on, Carter. You know it's Michael.
-What do you want me to do, put out an A.P.B. on a man in overalls wearing a white mask dragging a headstone?
-Yes.
-Carter.
-We're sorry to startle you, Miss Tate.
-Detective Carter from the Haddonfield P.D.
-I'll be damned.
-Mind if we sit down?
-I'd prefer you didn't. I'm very busy.
-Okay, then how 'bout we ask you a few questions?
-Detective...
-Carter.
-... I think it would be best if you both left.
-Might want to stop and think about the safety of your students, Miss Tate.
-I never stop thinking about it, Detective. The only way in or out of this school is through that gate, and it is secured at all times.
-Funny, we just drove right in.
-Bruce... what's going on? The kids are here to pick out their costumes for the festival.
-A dead body?
-It's Amy Kramer.
-My god...
-Do you know who did this?
-Well, Eddie Catero didn't show up for work this morning... parents say he never came home last night. Car's still missing.
-Think Eddie had something to do with it?
-Besides, it's historically inaccurate.
-What the fuck are you talking about?
-Michael Meyers never used a meat cleaver. It was a butcher knife.
-Who are you, the serial killer police? What difference does it make?
-Another historical inaccuracy.
-Hey, Mis Whittington, what's up?
-My blood pleasure. You scared the hell out of me.
-Oh. Sorry. I'm on my way to the ring and --
-I think someone broke into my house.
-No shit?!
-Jimmy, what are you doing?
-Checking out your place.
-No. Wait for the police.
-Nothing to fear. The coast is clear.
-You sure?
-Totally. I checked all the rooms and closets...
-Nothing's missing?
-Don't think so. But they sure did a real number on your office. Crap everywhere.
-My office?
-Nothing's changed since yesterday, or last week, or last month... the answer's still "no."
-What the --
-I'm sixteen, Keri. I should be able to live wherever I want.
-And I should have a son who calls me "Mom". Looks like we're both shit out of luck.
-Okay, you win. I'll call you Mom. Now can I move into the dorms?
-Well, Dad thinks it's okay.
-You're father thinks it's okay to run off to Cancun with a blonde bimbo in a halter top. Somehow his opinion doesn't count.
-I promise not to run off to Cancun.
-Forget it.
-The dorms are only fifty feet away. You could practically see into my window. So, what difference does it make?
-Alright, I was wrong. There is a big difference between rooming with your buddies and living with your mother and school headmaster.
-I took the padlock off your door. What more do you want?
-Where are you going?
-To the bathroom. Can I do that alone or do you want to watch?
-You're twisted.
-Shit, John! What the hell were you doing out there?!
-Nothing.
-You're kidding with that answer, right?
-I just went for a walk. It's no big deal.
-Wrong. There are rules in this house and you're going to follow them whether you like it or not.
-Or what? You're gonna shoot me?
-It's an option.
-Well, maybe if you'd let me live in the dorms, I wouldn't have to sneak out to spend time with my friends.
-Oh, so now it's my fault?
-I'm sorry, alright? It was just a stupid joke.
-You some kind of fugitive or something?
-Now you're joking, right?
-Wait a minute... slow down... you're telling me Michael Meyers is my uncle?
-Yes.
-Any other psychotic relatives I should know about? Jason? Freddy Krueger?
-No.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-Where are you going?
-He found you, didn't he?
-Get on the bus.
-Where's Molly? She's not in her room...
-Just get on the bus.
-I'm not leaving without her.
-John, you can't help her now.
-What? Where is she?
-Oh, God... no... not Molly.
-Yeah, me too, Keri.
-Call me Laurie, will ya?
-Keri.... Laurie... how about if I just call you Mom?
-Shelve the barf bag. It's the key to the main gate.
-Where'd you get it?
-Swiped it from my mom's desk yesterday.
-You stole it?
-Not me.
-Why not?
-Nah, I didn't tell her where I went.
-What are you doing here?!
-I came to see you.
-I can see that. Why?
-Can I come in?
-Are you crazy? You'll get caught.
-Then you come out here.
-Then I'll get caught.
-Well, I'm not going until I talk to you.
-You really think Eddie killed her?
-You saw that Michael Meyers display. You've got to be pretty twisted to come up with something like that.
-You look kind of cold.
-I'm okay.
-Better?
-Molly, of all the people... if I can't trust my resident assistant, then what?
-I know. I'm really, really sorry, Miss Tate. Please let me keep the job... it's the only way I can afford to stay here.
-Okay, tell you what... you can still be the school R.A., but no dance tomorrow night.
-Linda! He killed Linda!
-Who?!
-Aren't they doing a terrific job this year?
-Looks great. It does.
-You okay? You seem a little off.
-It's John, isn't it?
-It's always John.
-Still wants to move out?
-He's been living out of moving boxes for three months.
-This kid just wants his freedom.
-It's not going to happen.
-The tighter you squeeze, the harder he'll try to break free.
-Oh, please... you get that out of a fortune cookie?
-I'm going into town... run a few errands before dark. Need anything?
-A box of fortune cookies... I'm running out of advice.
-Hey, you alright?
-What?
-What are you looking at?
-There's something I have to tell you both. It's going to sound strange...
-What?
-My name hasn't always been Keri Tate. It was once Laurie Strode.
-Who?
-Michael Meyers.
-The serial killer?
-No, Will, this isn't the alcohol talking. It's the truth.
-I can't believe this is happening.
-You just dropped a shitload on him... give him some time to digest it.
-Are you going to leave, too?
-So you're really Michael Meyers' sister?
-Yeah.
-Not a real fan of Halloween humor, Will.
-Oh, right. Sorry.
-I'm gonna head back to the office... finish up some things.
-Keri, you all right?
-We've got to get these kids out of here...
-Look, they're staring right at us.
-Wait.
-What is it?
-I have to pee.
-Can't you hold it?
-You aced it, didn't you?
-Fuckin' A.
-What's this?
-Better her than me.
-Ooooh, busted.
-Shane's going as a condom.
-I thought you were allergic to latex.
-I'll pop a Benadryl.
-You think they'll let him in dressed like that?
-BLAAAAAGGGHHHHH!
-Shit, Linda!
-You're so easy...
-Wasn't scaring the hell out of me once today enough?!
-Nope. Hey, you think I'll win scariest costume?
-Linda, you are without a doubt the scariest person on campus.
-Thanks!
-Where's Shane?
-Condom Boy is waiting for me in the cafeteria.
-But the dance is in the gymnasium.
-Let the party begin.
-Have enough fun for the both of us.
-He do that to you?
-Another episode of 'Daddy Knows Best' at the Strode house.
-Beth, who's that guy that lives across the hall from you?
-Why? You interested?
-No! I keep seeing him staring out his window. Watching me.
-Mom -- Who is this?
-Kara? ... No, this is Beth.
-What are you doing there? Where's my mother?
-We were worried about you guys so we left early to see if you were --
-Is Tim there?
-Hold on, hot lips. We got work to do.
-Whatever happened to women in back?
-Happy fuckin' Halloween.
-Seven-thirty is the costume pageant ... Carving jack-o'-lanterns at eight ... Photos for the school paper at nine ... Then Harry lights the tree at nine- thirty ... I just know I'm forgetting something!
-Jesus, that's my neighbor. Tommy.
-Isn't he that psycho who's been spying on my sister?
-Kara and Danny never showed up tonight. We'd better go home and check on them. There's nothing else for us to do here.
-But they're gonna light the tree in a few minutes --
-Guess they -- went to the fair after all.
-What if your parents come home?
-Aren't you gonna answer that?
-Answer what?
-Shh. Mommy's here. What is it?
-Home is here in Grandma and Grandpa's new house. At least while I'm in college. Remember our deal.
-The kids at school said this is a haunted house -- that a bad man used to live here.
-They did, did they? Since when did we start listening to the kids at school?
-But I've seen him!
-You've been watching too much TV.
-He says things. Bad things.
-No, Mom -- keep it on!
-Mom, I want to go to the fair ...
-Come on, Mom. We're gonna miss all the fun stuff!
-Mommy, I'm scared.
-There's nothing to be scared of, baby. It's just another storm. Try to get some sleep.
-I can't. The voice man is coming to get me.
-No one's coming to get you. Not while I'm around.
-Promise?
-Mommy!!!
-Shitheads ... Defacing my property. I showed them ...
-Relax, John. They were just kids.
-See what I'm talkin' about?
-What is it this time?
-He told me about the terrible things that happened here. In our house.
-What the fuck are you doing letting strangers in without --
-John, they sound Jamie Lloyd this morning! Someone tried to kill her!
-What in God's name are you talking about, woman? When are you gonna stop listening to those damned talk shows?
-I'm getting the children out of here. At least until we know what we're dealing with. John, I want you to come with us.
-Debra, you're fuckin' insane.
-I've been knocking. The door was open. Is everything all right in here?
-Who are you?
-He crept up these stairs and made his way into this room. His sister's room. Right here. Where it all began.
-What makes you think he'll come here again?
-This house is sacred to him. It's the source of his memories -- his rage. Mrs. Strode, I beg you. Don't let your family suffer the same fast as Laurie and her daughter.
-Jamie? But I thought she was --
-What should I do?
-Lock the doors and call your husband. Get your family as far away from Haddonfield as possible.
-God ... this can't be true.
-So they're trying to kill you and your baby. Don't tell me. Your name also happens to be Rosemary.
-Come on, sweetheart -- what is this? Who's coming?
-So they're trying to kill you and your baby. Don't tell me. Your name also happens to be Rosemary.
-No, please listen! They're coming ... coming for me and my baby.
-Come on, sweetheart -- what is this? Who's coming?
-She wasn't here when I brought Danny home from --
-My, God! What have you done to him?
-I didn't -- He got in a fight and I --
-Do you know how insane this is? Who am I supposed to be looking for?
-God, what's wrong with him?
-Kyle's mother might be dead for all I know. Now I'm afraid he could be next.
-Why would anyone want to kill an innocent baby?
-It was there when I found him this morning. It looks like some kind of letter or number or --
-Runes were a kind of early alphabet that originated in Northern Europe thousands of years ago. They were symbols -- carved out of stone or pieces of wood. Of all the runes, Thorn had the most negative influence. Cults used them in blood rituals to portend future events and invoke magic.
-Black magic ... 'In ancient times, Thorn was believed to cause sickness, famine and death. Translated literally, it was the name of a demon spirit that delivered human sacrifices ... on the Celtic celebration of Samhain.'
-Halloween.
-Where are you going?
-Danny?! Danny!
-Where's the baby?!
-Danny! Danny, where are you?!
-What now?!
-Come on!
-Christ, what a night! Not even so much as a sign for five miles on that road!
-Unlike you, Sam, I learned many years ago not to second-guess the motives of my fellow man. Remember what Freud said: 'Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.' Or, in this case, a drink is just a drink.
-I hope you didn't come all the way out here in this storm just to quote Freud.
-As always, your keen powers of perception astound me. And you're right. I've come to celebrate. After thirty-two years as Psychiatric Administrator, guess who has been named Smith's Groves new Chief of Staff.
-But surely Rogers isn't --
-We need you, Dr. Loomis.
-You should know that it's not wise to play Halloween pranks on me.
-But with Rogers and his house of hacks gone, you'd make the rules. Just think it over.
-It was her voice. On the radio. It was Jamie. Calling for me.
-You don't know that for sure. It could have been anyone. A practical joke. Kids.
-It was Jamie Lloyd. She came back, as I knew she would one day. And whatever has brought her back has brought Michael back as well.
-After six years? Sam, she died with him in that explosion after the --
-Notify Haddonfield's sheriff; tell him we're on our way. I want the entire staff on alert. We go to code red lockdown for twenty-four hours. If he is alive, I plan on bringing him back.
-What is that?
-Sam, don't -- let them take care of her.
-There you are. Who was that boy?
-There's more people moving eastbound down Old Reservoir Road past the elementary school.
-Any word on the location of the Strodes?
-No one's home. Checked it out myself.
-What's wrong? What's happened to Jamie?
-Where's the child?
-Come now, Sam. This is a gathering of old friends. I know how difficult this must be for you -- a man of your upbringing and integrity -- but now that I'm in charge I felt it was only fair that you finally know the truth. After all, you're the only one around here who's still in the dark, as it were. This isn't
-This is madness, Wynn.
-Your madness is another man's greatness. This is the way things have always been. You've just been too blinded by your own reality to see. But having you on the outside has been convenient for us in many ways. You always did come through -- our loyal watch dog. Finding him. Bringing him back to us once he'd finished his work. Although after you
-It was you.
-Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
-Why did you take Jamie?
-She has the gift -- the blood of Thorn running through her veins. Michael's mother had it, too. So for six years I incubated her, prepared her for this night. Michael has served his purpose. And soon we will have a new progeny.
-Jamie's baby ...
-There you go trying to make sense again. It's a curse. Handed down through countless generations. As ageless as this celebration which you call Halloween.
-Samhain.
-You've created a monster.
-No!!!
-Stay away, Sam.
-Yes?
-Dr. Loomis, thank God you're here. You heard her, didn't you? It was Jamie.
-I'm sorry, but do I know you --
-Yes ... Tommy. What are you doing here?
-What do you know about Michael?
-I know he's alive. People in this town -- they want us to believe he's dead. But I know. I've always known.
-Right now at least one girl is dead and Jamie Lloyd is in there fighting for her life. She is the last of his blood line. If she dies --
-Who else knew I had the baby?!
-No one.
-No -- there had to be someone else. Who knew?!
-Run, Tommy!!! Run!!!
-Miss me, baby?
-I dunno, boy.
-Hm?
-It's a bitch.
-A bitch.
-Didn't recognize you.
-We've never met.
-I wonder who'll recognize us first? They'll wet their pants.
-I hope the men do. I would rather the women didn't.
-Home, sweet home.
-One thing, anyway--at least Penelope didn't throw out all your crap. I bet Alice threw out all my crap after I'd been gone a week.
-It appears that we're going to have to wait awhile for any more action here, Colonel. Why don't you run on home while the evening's young.
-Home. Jesus. I'm like this. Home!
-Home is important to a man.
-You know what gets me?
-No.
-How all the magazines show tits today.
-Um.
-Used to be against the law, didn't it?
-I suppose.
-Home.
-You know what gets me?
-Oh, shit.
-How everybody says "fuck" and "shit" all the time. I used to be scared shitless I'd say "fuck" or "shit" in public, by accident. Now everybody says "fuck" and "shit," "fuck" and "shit" all the time. Something very big must have happened while we were out of the country.
-Looseleaf--will you get the hell home?
-At least we found the diamonds.
-At least!
-I'd really feel stupid if we didn't bring anything back home.
-It's enough that you've brought yourself home!
-I wish you'd tell Alice that. And that Goddamn Mrs. Wheeler.
-Tell them yourself!
-You don't know my mother-in-law, boy.
-After eight years in the jungle with you, I know Mrs. Wheeler better than I know anybody in the universe!
-I didn't tell you everything.
-The time we were in a tree for fourteen days, you certainly tried to tell me everything about Mrs. Wheeler.
-I didn't even scratch the surface. You're lucky, boy. You come home, and nobody's here. When I go home, everybody's going to be there.
-This room is full of ghosts.
-You know what gets me?
-Go home!
-Thank God we found the fucking diamonds!
-The hell with the diamonds!
-You were rich before. This is the first time I was ever rich.
-Go home! Show them how rich you are for a change!
-Can I have the Cadillac?
-Take the Cadillac and drive it off a cliff, for all I care.
-What'll you do for transportation?
-I'll buy a hundred more Cadillacs. Go home!
-You know what gets me about that Cadillac?
-Go home!
-When I drive it, I feel like I'm in the middle of a great big wad of bubblegum. I don't hear anything, I don't feel anything. I figure somebody else is driving. It's a bitch.
-Go home.
-I'm liable to find anything!
-That's the point! Walk in there and find whatever there is to find--before Alice can cover it up.
-I know, I know. I dunno. At least she's in the same house. Sure was spooky, looking in the window there, and there she was.
-So long, Colonel.
-You know what gets me?
-Let's talk about it some other time.
-How short the skirts are.
-Good night, Colonel. It's been beautiful.
-You know what gets me? Those guys who went to the moon! To the moon, boy!
-Leave me alone! After eight years of horrendously close association, the time has come to part! I crave solitude and time for reflection-- and then a reunion in privacy with my own flesh and blood. You and I may not meet again for months!
-Months?
-I'm certainly not going to come horning back into your life tomorrow, and I will not welcome your horning back into mine. A chapter has ended. We are old comrades--at a parting of the ways.
-I've been looking at motorcycles.
-Go home!
-You ever own a motorcycle?
-You're right! We'll take a trip. A trip is what we'll take. I don't want to talk about motorcycles. I don't want to talk about tits. Go home!
-And how were things?
-Otherwise, how are things?
-Could have happened to anybody.
-First Nagasaki--now this.
-I dunno, boy.
-The educational process.
-I guess. You're lucky you don't have any old people around here.
-What's funny about that?
-Excuse me.
-One of them is the doctor, whose weapons are compassion, unselfishness, peacefulness-- maudlin concern.
-Huh.
-He and his love are like a retiarius. Do you know what a retiarius is?
-He's a kind of gladiator who fights with a knife and a net and doesn't wear anything but a jockstrap.
-How do you know that?
-You told me.
-When?
-When we were up in the tree so long--with the bats.
-Oh. I'd forgotten.
-Fourteen times you told me. I counted.
-Really?
-You'd get this funny look in your eyes, and I'd say to myself, "Oh, Jesus--he's going to tell me what a retiarius is again."
-Go to the funeral?
-Of course! Not only go to it but go to it in full uniform! Rent a uniform!
-That's against the law, isn't it? I can't wear a uniform anymore.
-Wear your uniform and every decoration, and let them despise you, if they dare.
-Alice would be absolutely tear-ass.
-When I was a naive young recruit in Spain, I used to wonder why soldiers bayoneted oil paintings, shot the noses off of statues and defecated into grand pianos. I now understand: It was to teach civilians the deepest sort of respect for men in uniform-- uncontrollable fear. To our women.
-I didn't know we had any women left.
-The world is teeming with women-- ours to enjoy.
-I told you the uniform wouldn't help.
-It helped more than you know. Down deep, people were deeply affected.
-So, kid--how they hanging? Or don't you say that to a little kid?
-Of course you'll go! You're going to fly the helicopter.
-I dunno.
-You're so low! Look at that beautiful red meat. You haven't touched it.
-Sorry. At least you've got a place to come back to. I don't have a place to come back to anymore.
-All the more reason to go to Africa.
-I dunno. You know. I used to really love that Alice. Do you know that?
-You know her for what she is now-- garbage.
-I dunno.
-Hi, Penelope.
-Go live in a safe-deposit box--with your things. LOOSELEAF Jesus--I wouldn't want to be married to him. You know?
-What's this?
-I wouldn't want to be married to me. We're too crazy. You know?
-In what way, pray tell?
-I didn't like that violin thing. That was sad.
-Tit for tat--as simple as that.
-You never played a violin.
-You did?
-Yeah. I practically forgot. But after you busted that thing, I got to thinking, "Jesus--maybe I'll start the violin again." That didn't just belong to Woodly. That belonged to everybody. Maybe he would have sold it to me, and I could have some fun. After you busted the violin, boy, and Penelope walked out, I thought to myself, "Jesus--who could blame her?"
-Maybe it's time you got out.
-Me?
-You.
-Okay. Okay.
-You're an imbecile.
-I know you think that.
-Everybody thinks that.
-Anybody who'd drop an atom bomb on a city has to be pretty dumb.
-The one direct, decisive, intelligent act of your life!
-I don't think so. It could have been.
-If what?
-If I hadn't done it. If I'd said to myself, "Screw it. I'm going to let all those people down there live."
-They were enemies. We were at war.
-Yeah, Jesus--but wars would be a lot better, I think, if guys would say to themselves sometimes, "Jesus--I'm not going to do that to the enemy. That's too much." You could have been the manufacturer of that violin there, even though you don't know how to make a violin, just by not busting it up. I could have been the father of all those
-Hello.
-How are you, honeybunch?
-Is Penelope in?
-The posies are for her?
-I wanted to apologize.
-You've come to the right man.
-I forgot my vacuum cleaner.
-I forget mine for years on end.
-I can't get over how you guys are my friends. Harold Ryan and Looseleaf Harper are my friends.
-Our pleasure.
-Eight years you guys were together-- through thick and thin.
-For seven and a half of those years we were heavily drugged--or we would have been home long before now, believe me. We were saved from starvation by the Lupi-Loopo Indians, who fed us a strange blue soup.
-Blue soup.
-Are we really going to find out where the elephants go to die?
-I'd rather go to Viet Nam.
-Would somebody please pass me the catsup?
-What you say is, "Pass the fucking catsup."
-Insurance!
-What an awful sound!
-It's possible, of course, that you'll die in Africa.
-I've considered that.
-Selling vacuum cleaners isn't the best preparation you could have.
-I just want one true adventure before I die.
-Fifty years?
-You're making a joke.
-I'm interested in long-term expectations.
-It's engineered to last about fifteen years.
-If I were married to him, I sure wouldn't walk out.
-Who's going to fly our helicopter now?
-What?
-We got to get another pilot.
-For what?
-For Africa.
-Do you really think that Harold Ryan would go to Africa with a vacuum cleaner salesman?
-You invited me.
-To make an ass of yourself.
-What went wrong?
-We're ahead of schedule, that's all. You're finding out here what you would have found out in Africa-- that you are a rabbit, born to be eaten alive.
-Gee whiz--
-It would have been fun to see you drop your rifle and run the first time an elephant charged us.
-I wouldn't drop my gun.
-You're hollow, like a woman.
-I'm smarter than Looseleaf.
-He can shoot! He can hold his ground! He can attack! You're in your proper profession right now-- sucking up dirt for frumpish housewives, closet drunkards every one.
-How do you know how I'd act in Africa?
-Look how you're acting now! This is a moment of truth, and you're almost crying. Slug me!
-You're my buddy.
-Out! Out!
-No matter what you say to me, I still think you're the greatest guy I ever knew.
-Out!
-You--you aren't going to have any friends left, if you don't watch out.
-Anybody home?
-As a matter of fact--
-Sir?
-As a matter of fact--I am home.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-You were about to ask a question?
-Are you--do you--
-Ask it!
-Do you know who Wanda June is?
-Life has denied me that thrill.
-Do you mind if I ask who you are?
-Mind? God, yes, I mind. I'm your father's friend. A man claiming to be the family physician let me in a while ago.
-Dr. Woodly.
-Dr. Woodly. I should make a little list.
-Is anybody besides you here now?
-The doctor was called away on an emergency. I think it was birth.
-Where's Mom?
-You don't know where your mother is? Does she put on a short skirt and go drinking all night?
-She went to the fight with Herb Shuttle, I guess.
-You think you could find me a pencil and paper?
-And you've been roaming the streets while your mother is God-knows-where?
-I was going to a funny movie, but I changed my mind. If you're depressed, laughing doesn't help much. When did you know my father?
-Man and boy.
-Everybody says he was so brave.
-Even this--"Herb Shuttle", you said?
-He worships Father.
-Ah! And what sort of man is this worshiper?
-He's a vacuum cleaner salesman.
-I see. And he came into the apartment one day, to demonstrate his wares, and your mother, as it happened, was charmingly en deshabille--
-She met him at college.
-College!
-They were in the same creative writing class.
-College?
-She has a master's degree in English literature.
-What a pity! Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch. Everything stops. And the doctor? He worships your father, too?
-He insults him all the time.
-Excellent!
-What's good about that?
-It makes life spicy.
-He doesn't do it in front of me, but he does it with Mother. You know what he called Father one time?
-No.
-"Harold, the Patron Saint of Taxidermy."
-What does he do--of an athletic nature?
-Nothing. He plays a violin in a doctors' quartet.
-Aha! He has a brilliant military record, I'm sure.
-He was a stretcher-bearer in the Korean War. Were you in a war with Father?
-Big ones, little ones, teeny-weeny ones--just and otherwise.
-Tell me some true stories about Dad.
-"Dad?" Dad. The boy wants tales of derring-do. Name a country.
-England?
-Oh hell.
-Dad was never in England?
-Behind a desk for a little while. A desk! They had him planning air raids. A city can't flee like a coward or fight like a man, and the choice between fleeing and fighting was at the core of the life of Harold Ryan. There was only one thing he enjoyed more than watching someone make that choice, and that was making the choice
-"The sting."
-As in "Death, where is thy sting?" He killed at least fifty men, wounded hundreds more.
-"The sting."
-Ask about the time he and I were parachuted into Yugoslavia to join a guerrilla band--in the war against the Nazis.
-Tell me that.
-I saw your father fight Major Siegfried von Konigswald, the Beast of Yugoslavia, hand to hand.
-Tell me that! Tell me that!
-Hid by day--fought by night. At sunset one day, your father and I, peering through field glasses, saw a black Mercedes draw up to a village inn. It was escorted by two motorcyclists and an armored car. Out of the Mercedes stepped one of the most hateful men in all of history--the Beast of Yugoslavia.
-Wow.
-We blacked our hands and faces. At midnight we crept out of the forest and into the village. The name of the village was Mhravitch. Remember that name!
-Mhravitch.
-We came up behind a sentry, and your father slit his throat before he could utter a sound.
-Uck.
-Don't care for cold steel? A knife is worse than a bullet?
-I don't know.
-The story gets hairier. Should I stop?
-Go on.
-We caught another Kraut alone in a back lane. Your father choked him to death with a length of piano wire. Your father was quite a virtuoso with piano wire. That's nicer than a knife, isn't it--as long as you don't look at the face afterwards. The face turns a curious shade of avocado. I must ask the doctor why that is. At any
-Where did you get the poison?
-We carried cyanide capsules. We were supposed to swallow them in case we were captured. It was your father's opinion that the Krauts needed them more than we did at the time.
-Mhravitch. Remember that name.
-Mhravitch.
-The name will live forever. It was there that Harold Ryan slew the Beast of Yugoslavia. Mhravitch.
-When I grow up, I'm going to go to Mhravitch.
-It's rather a disappointment these days. It isn't there any more.
-Sir?
-The Germans shot everybody who lived there, then leveled it, plowed it, planted turnips and cabbages in the fertile ground. They wished revenge for the slaying of the Beast of Yugoslavia. To their twisted way of thinking, your father had butchered an Eagle Scout. Play lots of contact sports?
-I wanted to go out for football, but Mom was afraid I'd get hurt.
-You're supposed to get hurt!
-Dr. Woodly says he's seen hundreds of children permanently injured by football. He says that when there's a war, everybody goes but football players.
-Does it bother you to have your mother engaged to a man like that?
-They're not engaged.
-He seems to think they are. He told me that were.
-Oh no, no, no, no, no. It can't be. How embarrassing.
-You're a very good boy to respond that way.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-I'd like to use the sanitary facilities, if I may.
-Yes, wife, it is. Come here, boy. Your father is home.
-Wants to fix up her makeup, no doubt.
-Is Looseleaf Harper alive?
-Alive and hale. He's throwing a little surprise party for his own family. Is your mother often this unstable? Penelope!
-She's a real heavy sleeper sometimes.
-Why don't you go to bed--son.
-I can't take my eyes off you.
-Tomorrow's another day. PAUL You know what my English literature teacher said about you?
-Can't it keep till morning?
-She said you were legendary. I wrote a theme about you, and she said, "Your father is a legendary hero out of the Golden Age of Heroes."
-That's nice. You thank her for me. Go to bed and get lots of sleep, and then you thank her in the morning.
-Tomorrow's Saturday. Anyway, she's dead.
-Penelope!
-She was killed in the park two months ago--in the daytime.
-Penelope!
-She was on her way home from a meeting of the African Violet Society, and they got her.
-Will you go to bed?
-Yes sir. If you can't wake Mom up, I've got double-decker bunks.
-Dad's got jungle fever, Mom. What'll I do? Mom!
-Damn.
-Play?
-A hundred dollars!
-The smallest thing I've got.
-Can I get dressed first?
-Dad--
-Couldn't you have vanished quietly out the back door?
-A hundred dollars for breakfast?
-What kind of exercise?
-I'm a man.
-We've got to do something to make this boy's voice change. I wonder if we couldn't get bull balls somewhere, and fry 'em up. Still miss your mother?
-No.
-Dad?
-Who was it?
-Mom?
-What's this?
-Nothing.
-That's a rifle you have?
-No.
-Of course it is. Is it loaded?
-No.
-That's a cartridge, if I'm not mistaken. Gunpowder, bullet, cartridge case, and fulminate of mercury percussion cap--all set to go. PAUL I was cleaning it.
-Pick up that cartridge and slip it back into the chamber--where it belongs.
-Gee whiz, Dad--
-Welcome to manhood, you little sparrowfart! Load that gun!
-Dad--
-Then speak, by God! Can you fight with words?
-I don't want to fight you.
-Get mad! Tell me you don't like the way I treat your mother! Tell me you wish I'd never come home!
-It's your house, Dad.
-I don't know what I hope. But I don't think you care what I hope, anyway. You don't know me. You don't know her, either. I don't think you know anybody. You talk to everybody just the same.
-I'm talking to you gently now.
-How do you do. My name is Penelope Ryan. This is a simple-minded play about men who enjoy killing--and those who don't.
-"Hamburger Heaven."
-Can I help you, sir?
-I think so, daughter. How old are you?
-Eighteen-- and a half.
-A springbok, an oryx, a gemsbok--a gazelle.
-Sir?
-Raw hamburger, please--and a whole onion. I want to eat the onion like an apple. Do you understand?
-Yes, sir. It was a very unusual automobile. It was a Cadillac, but it had water buffalo horns where the bumpers should be. And what to drink?
-What time do you get off work, my child?
-I'm sorry, sir, I'm engaged to be married. My boyfriend would be mad if I went out with another man.
-Did you ever daydream that you would one day meet a friendly millionaire?
-I'm engaged.
-Daughter--I love you very much.
-You don't even know me.
-You are woman. I know woman well.
-This is crazy.
-Destiny often seems that way. You're going to marry me.
-What do you do for a living?
-My parents died in an automobile accident when I was sixteen years old. They left me a brewery and a baseball team--and other things. I live for a living. I've just come back from Kenya--in Africa. I've been hunting Mau Mau there.
-Some kind of animal?
-How do you do?
-How do you do, Mrs. Ryan? I'd heard you were beautiful, and so you are. Am I intruding here?
-Not at all.
-What's the matter?
-Give us time.
-Like hugging a lamp post.
-Give us time, Harold--to adjust to your being alive.
-You were well adjusted to my being dead?
-We adjust to what there is to adjust to. Perhaps Paul, being young, can adjust to joy or grief immediately. I hope he can. I will take a little longer. I'll be as quick as I can.
-What sort of time period do you have in mind? Half an hour? An hour?
-I don't know. This is a new disease to me.
-Disease?
-Situation.
-This reunion isn't what I imagined it would be.
-A telegram--a phone call might have helped.
-Seemed the most honest way to begin life together again--natural, unrehearsed.
-Well--enjoy the natural, honest, unrehearsed result--surgical shock.
-You feel that you're behaving as a woman should?
-Bluh.
-What's that all about?
-We thought a doctor might help.
-Your old beau?
-We thought it was an emergency.
-I don't want that chancre mechanic in here.
-He's a very decent man, Harold.
-We all are.
-Shouldn't you lie down?
-When I'm dead-- or fucking.
-Paul said you were awfully sick.
-You know what I want? I want you both to be friends. I know you both, respect you both. You should be friends.
-Nothing would please me more.
-I'm so glad you like each other. I was so scared, so scared.
-Harold!
-I could carve a better man out of a banana!
-Please--
-He doesn't deserve this! You don't know him. It isn't fair!
-Awful. I can't tell you how sorry I am.
-Say hello to your mother.
-Now that's what I call fun.
-Ghastly, cruel, unnecessary.
-You'll get so you enjoy twitting weaklings again. You used to eat it up.
-I did?
-We were one hell of a pair--and we'll be one again. What we need is a honeymoon. Let's start right now.
-A trip, you mean?
-He hasn't had breakfast yet.
-Honeymoon! Honeymoon! Say it: Honeymoon!
-It's so--so stark.
-You used to like it stark!
-Just--bang--we have a honeymoon.
-Now--turn around, if you would.
-Turn around?
-I'm going to touch your shoulders very gently now. You mustn't scream. So tense, so tense.
-You shouldn't have talked to Norbert that way.
-You're thinking with your brain instead of your body. That's why you're so tense! Forget Norbert. Relax. It's body time.
-I have a brain.
-I have some change!
-Breakfast?
-And lots of orange juice--oceans of orange juice.
-Mrs. Wheeler is dead.
-All right--bring me a side order of Mrs. Wheeler. Oh, hell--sit down, Colonel. Penelope will bring you some chow.
-That is the most heartless statement I ever heard pass between human lips.
-Which one?
-"Bring me a side order of Mrs. Wheeler."
-She's up in Heaven now. She didn't hear. She is experiencing nothing but pure happiness. There's nothing nicer than that. Chow! Harold Ryan wants chow!
-What a honeymoon.
-Honeymoon temporarily canceled. The boy should still go out and exercise. I have the impression he never gets any exercise. He simply bloats himself with Fig Newtons and bakes his brains over steam radiators.
-You're wrong.
-Chow, chow, chow! God damn it-- nutriment!
-We're all going to have to go out for breakfast. The cook quit yesterday.
-Cook, by God! Cook! You're the nigger now.
-People don't use that word any more.
-Don't lecture me on race relations. I don't have a molecule of prejudice. I've been in battle with every kind of man there is. I've been in bed with every kind of woman there is--from a Laplander to a Tierra del Fuegian. If I'd ever been to the South Pole, there'd be a hell of a lot of penguins who looked like me. Cook!
-You leave me so--so without-- without dignity.
-People now have dignity when frying eggs?
-They don't have to feel like slaves.
-I should have torn that door off its hinges. Should have scrogged her ears off. Should have broken the bed. What do you want? Well?
-I--I was wondering--is there anything you shouldn't eat--because of jungle fever?
-Let me guess--breakfast is served?
-No.
-What then?
-I do not wish to be scrogged--ever. I never heard that word, but when I heard it, I knew it was one thing I never wanted to have happen to me.
-That's what you're supposed to say.
-This is not a coy deception. I do not want to be scrogged. I want love. I want tenderness.
-You don't know you want. That's the way God built you!
-I will not be scrogged. I remember one time I saw you wrench a hook from the throat of a fish with a pair of pliers, and you promised me that the fish couldn't feel.
-It couldn't!
-I'd like to have the expert opinion of the fish--along with yours.
-Fish can't feel.
-Well, I can. Some injuries, spiritual or physical, can be excruciating to me. I'm not a silly carhop any more. Maybe you're right about fish. When I was a carhop, I didn't feel much more than a fish would. But I've been sensitized. I have ideas now--and solid information. I know a lot more now--and a lot of it has to do with you.
-Such as?...
-The whole concept of heroism--and its sexual roots.
-Tell me about its sexual roots.
-It's complicated and I don't want to go into it now, because it's bound to sound insulting--even though nobody means for anybody to be insulted. It's just the truth.
-I like the truth. I wouldn't be alive today if I weren't one of the biggest fans truth ever had.
-Well--part of it is that heroes basically hate home and never stay there very long, and make awful messes while they're there.
-Go on.
-And they have very mixed feelings about women. They hate them in a way. One reason they like war so much is that they can capture enemy women and not have to make love to them slowly and gently. They can scrog them, as you say-- for revenge.
-You learned this in some college course?
-I learned a lot of things in college. Actually--it was Norbert who told me that.
-The doctor.
-Yes.
-And what is his most cherished possession?
-His most cherished possession? His violin, I guess.
-And he keeps it in his apartment?
-Yes.
-And no one's there now?
-I don't think so.
-That's too bad. I would rather have him at home--to see what I'm going to do.
-What are you going to do?
-He did his best to destroy my most precious possession, which is the high opinion women have of me. I'm now going to even that score. I'm going to break in his door and I'm going to smash his violin.
-No you're not!
-Why not?
-I came for my clothes.
-Sneaking in the back door.
-I rang. It seemed like the proper door for a servile, worthless organism to use.
-Your clothes are at the city dump by now. Perhaps you can get a map from the Department of Sanitation.
-I came for Paul as well.
-If he wants to go.
-You took him to the funeral, I hear.
-He'd never seen a corpse. He's seen a dozen now.
-A dozen?
-It's a big and busy funeral home.
-Did you like it, dear?
-It isn't a matter of liking. It's a matter of getting used to death-- as a perfectly natural thing. Would you mind leaving? No woman ever walks out on Harold Ryan, and then comes back--for anything.
-Unless she has nerve.
-More nerve than the doctor, I must admit. He hasn't been home for two days. Has he suddenly lost interest in sleep and color television--and the violin?
-He knows you shattered his violin.
-I'm dying to hear of his reaction. The thrill of smashing something isn't in the smashing, but in the owner's reactions.
-He cried.
-About a broomstick and a cigar box--and the attenuated intestines of an alley cat.
-Two hundred years old.
-He feels awful loss--which was precisely my intention.
-He had hoped that someone would be playing it still--two hundred years from now.
-Things.
-Well--what have we here? A family.
-Almost a Christmas scene.
-Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
-Just one favor.
-Money? There's plenty of that. Mildred got the brewery. You'll probably get the baseball team.
-Testimonials of that sort are--are beyond my range. I don't do them well. That's a failing, I know.
-See how you've upset him. He was so merry and hale before you came home.
-How unhappy he's going to be--alone in his room.
-He'll play with his rifle, I expect. That will cheer him up.
-Rifle?
-I bought him a twenty-two yesterday--on the way home from Hamburger Heaven. And where is the good doctor? Have you two feathered a love nest somewhere?
-He's in East St. Louis with his mother--visiting an aunt.
-Last I heard, his mother was going alone.
-He's afraid of you, Harold. He knew you'd want to fight him. He doesn't know anything about fighting. He hates pain.
-And you, a supposedly healthy woman, do not detest him for his cowardice?
-It seems highly intelligent to me.
-What kind of a country has this become? The men wear beads and refuse to fight--and the woman adore them. America's days of greatness are over. It has drunk the blue soup.
-Blue soup?
-An Indian narcotic we were forced to drink. It put us in a haze--a honey-colored haze which was lavender around the edge. We laughed, we sang, we snoozed. When a bird called, we answered back. Every living thing was our brother or our sister, we thought. Looseleaf stepped on a cockroach six inches long, and we cried. We had a funeral that went on
-Sounds quite beautiful.
-Beautiful, you say? It wasn't life, it wasn't death--it wasn't anything! Beautiful? Seven years gone-- like that, like that! Seven years of silliness and random dreams! Seven years of nothingness, when there could have been so much!
-Like what?
-He's a child!
-With an iron penis three feet long. Load it, boy.
-You're begging him to kill you?
-If he thinks he's man enough.
-That's really what you want. You become furious when people won't make you dead.
-I'm teaching my son to be a man.
-So he can kill you. You hate your own life that much. You beg for a hero to kill you.
-I plan to live one hundred years!
-No you don't.
-If that's the case--what's to prevent my killing myself?
-Honor, I suppose.
-What a handsome word.
-But it's all balled up in your head with death. The highest honor is death. When you talk of these animals, one by one, you don't just talk of killing them. You honored them with death. Harold--it is not honor to be killed.
-If you've lived a good life, fought well--
-It's still just death, the absence of life--no honor at all. It's worse than the blue soup by far-- that nothingness. To you, though, it's the honor that crowns them all.
-The old heroes are going to have to get used to this, Harold--the new heroes who refuse to fight. They're trying to save the planet. There's no time for battle, no point to battle anymore.
-I feel mocked, insulted, with no sort of satisfaction in prospect. We don't have to fight with steel. I can fight with words. I'm not an inarticulate ape, you know, who grabs a rock for want of a vocabulary. Call him up in East St. Louis, Penelope. Tell him to come here.
-No.
-And my son, the only son of Harold Ryan--he's going to grow up to be a vanisher, too?
-I don't know. I hope he never hunts. I hope he never kills another human being.
-I'm going to call the police.
-This is suicide. Go get the police.
-No, we won't. No matter how it begins, it will end in death. Because it always does. Isn't that always how it ends, Harold--in death?
-I'm turning off the alarm. I'm turning off everything.
-Ah! The lady is armed.
-I want you to get out of here, Norbert. Harold--I want you to sit down in the chair, and not lift a finger until Norbert is gone.
-Whoever has the gun, you see, gets to tell everybody else exactly what to do. It's the American way.
-I mean it!
-Then you'd better fix your bayonet, because there aren't any bullets in the gun.
-Help your mother find the bullet.
-How do I load?
-All right! Am I exceedingly dangerous now?
-The National Safety Council would be appalled.
-She's right, Norbert--go home. WOODLY I haven't said all I have to say.
-Give me that Goddamn thing! Now get out of here, or I might kill you. Who knows?
-You've killed women?
-Norbert--you come, too. Let him go, Harold. Let him go.
-Of course he can go--if he'll just go down on his hands and knees for a moment--and promise me that he does not find me comical in the least degree.
-Ooops.
-Ooops.
-Can I--uh--help you gentlemen?
-Gentlemen--that's nice.
-The door ws unlocked. Is it always unlocked?
-It's always locked.
-But here you are inside, aren't you?
-You're--you're old friends of Harold Ryan?
-We tried to be. We tried to be.
-He's dead, you know.
-Hello? Oh--hello, Mother.
-Hello, Mother.
-...Who?... Did she say how far apart the pains were?... When was that?... Oh dear.
-Oh dear.
-Look--I'm sorry--I have to go.
-We'll miss you so.
-Look--this isn't my apartment, and there isn't anybody else here. Mrs. Ryan won't be home for a while.
-Oh, oh, oh--I thought it was your apartment. You seemed at home here.
-I mean--I can't leave you here. You'll have to go. I'll tell Mrs. Ryan you were here. You can come back later.
-Ahh--then she's still alive.
-She's fine. Please--
-And still Mrs. Harold Ryan?
-Will you please go? An emergency!
-Yes! Yes! The boy! One boy!
-And what, exactly, is your relationship to Mrs. Ryan?
-Neighbor! Doctor! I live across the hall.
-And you come into Mrs. Ryan's apartment as often as you please, looking into various health matters?
-Just her neighbor and doctor? That's all?
-And her fiancé!
-And her fiancé! How nice. I hope you'll be very happy--or is that what one says to the woman?
-You wish the woman good luck, and you tell the man how fortunate he is. That's how it goes.
-I've literally got to run!
-Safe and sound, I see. Oh--you came back.
-How was the emergency, Doctor? Profitable, I hope.
-A policeman delivered the baby in a taxicab.
-Tough luck. You'll have to split the fee.
-Are--are you crying, Penelope?
-I feel the same way. What next?
-What next? You leave promptly, of course. There is no question as to whose home this is--
-None.
-Whose son this is, whose wife that is. A fiancé is the most ridiculous appurtenance this household could have at this time. Good night.
-Ah! You're ambulatory!
-Well now--what seems to be the trouble with the patient today? A touch of malaria, perhaps?
-I know malaria. Malaria isn't caused by the bites of bats.
-You've been bitten by bats?
-Colonel Harper and I once shared a treetop with a family of bats. There was a flash flood. There were piranha fish in the water. That's how Colonel Harper lost his little toe.
-You have chills?
-You can also describe its cure. I'm eating its cure.
-I was going to ask.
-Pacqualinincheewa root.
-Would you say that again?
-Pacqualinincheewa root. Means "cougar fang." Cures anything but a yellow streak down the back.
-I've never heard of it.
-Congratulations. By crossing twenty-eight feet of cockroach- infested carpet, you've become the third white man ever to hear of it.
-Are you've seen it work cures?
-Wasn't that sweet of me?
-More and more we find ourselves laying aside false pride and looking into the pharmacopoeias of primitive people. Curare, ephedrine--we've found some amazing things.
-We have, have we?
-That's an editorial we, of course. I haven't turned up anything personally.
-Good Lord.
-I thought she was a widow.
-I'm going to have to report you to the Department of Health.
-What for?
-It died for your sins.
-This little corpse is intended as a lesson?
-There's a certain amount of information there.
-This is man to man.
-It's healer to killer. Is that the same thing?
-What brought you back?
-The same hairy, humorless old gods who move you from hither to yon. "Honor, " if you like.
-There's going to be no bloodshed here. I know how he'll fight--the only way he can fight: with words. The truth. Am I correct?
-Yes.
-I can defeat him with anything from flavored toothpicks to siege howitzers. But he got it into his little head that he could come here and demolish Harold Ryan with words. The truth! Correct?
-Correct.
-What an hallucination! Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear. Oh dearie me.
-You haven't heard me yet.
-You intend to crack my eardrums with your voice? Will I bleed from my every orifice? Who will clean up this awful mess?
-You're a filthy, rotten bastard.
-Oooooo. That hurt.
-You're old--so old.
-Now who's being cruel?
-A living fossil! Like the cockroaches and the horseshoe crabs.
-You're a son of a bitch.
-I haven't told you, Harold, how comical I think you are.
-Hands and knees, you say?
-You're in one hell of a jam. You realize that?
-I'm high as a kite.
-Glands. You're supposed to be happy when you die. Call me comical again.
-You're a clown. You're a clown who kills--but you're a clown.
-I love you! Have a cigar!
-Evolution has made you a clown-- with a cigar. Simple butchers like you are obsolete!
-I'm to be left behind--in primordial ooze?
-If you're at home in the ooze, and nowhere else.
-This is going to become very physical. Are you prepared for that?
-You're not such a creature of the ooze that you'd hurt an unarmed man.
-I'm an honorable clown?
-King Arthur.
-You hope.
-In any event, I will not beg for mercy.
-No quarter asked. No quarter given.
-Don't you laugh even inwardly at the heroic balderdash you spew?
-Cut me open. Find out.
-I've struck my blow.
-With spittle?
-I've poisoned you. HAROLD Lucretia Borgia? Something I drank or touched? You refused a cigar. That's it! Potassium cyanide in the humidor! Treacherous lover of peace!
-I put a poisoned thought in your head. Even now that poison is seeping into every lobe of your mind. It's saying, "Obsolete, obsolete, obsolete," and, "Clown, clown, clown."
-Poison.
-You have a very good mind, or I wouldn't have come back. That mind is now asking itself, cleverly and fairly, "Is Harold Ryan really a clown?" And the answer is, "Yes."
-I--I really must congratulate you. Something is happening in there.
-You can never take yourself seriously again! Look at all the creatures you've protected us from! Did you shoot them on the elevator, as they were on their way up here to eat us alive?
-No. WOODLY The magic root you gave me--I had it analyzed. It was discovered by a Harvard botanist in 1893! He explored your famous jungle for five years, armed with nothing but kindness, a talent for languages, and a pocketknife.
-I see.
-You aren't going to hurt me. You aren't going to hurt anybody any more. Any violent gesture will seem ridiculous--to yourself!
-Don Quixote.
-My violin is avenged!
-Something seems to have happened to my self-respect.
-And the hell with it. It was so tragically irrelevant, so preposterously misinformed.
-The new hero is you.
-I hate crowds, and I have no charisma--
-You're too modest.
-But the new hero will be a man of science and of peace--like me. He'll disarm you, of course. No more guns, no more guns.
-Was I ever of use?
-Here. Finish the job.
-I'm utterly satisfied.
-You're making a mistake. Obsolete old carnivores like me are most dangerous when wounded. You've wounded me.
-More clowning! Don't you see?
-We never quit fighting until we're dead.
-You'd be killing a friend. Don't you know how much I like you?
-I'm going to shoot you now.
-No!
-My self-respect is gone--and my soldier's honor with it. It is now very easy for me to shoot an unarmed man.
-New dignity can be yours--as a merciful man. You can change!
-Like the saber-toothed tiger.
-Oh God--you're really going to kill me. HAROLD It won't hurt as much as the sting of a bumblebee. Heaven is very much like Paradise, they say. You'll like it there.
-Can I beg for mercy--on my knees?
-If you want to be found that way.
-What is this thing that kills me?
-Man, as man was meant to be--a vengeful ape who murders. He will soon be extinct. It's time, it's time.
-Don't shoot.
-No. No.
-Get up.
-No.
-Can't do it.
-Thank you--for my life.
-It's trash now, like mine.
-New lives begin!
-Somewhere in this city. Not here, not here. Tell Penelope I loved her--in my clownish way. And Paul. Tell him to be a healer, by all means.
-What are you going to do?
-Use the sanitary facilities, if I may.
-Leave the rifle here.
-I'll put it in Paul's room, where it belongs.
-Give me your word of honor that that's all you're going to do.
-Jesus--I dunno. You know. What the heck. Who knows?
-Colonel Harper, retired now, dropped an atom bomb on Nagasaki during the Second World War, killing seventy-four thousand people in a flash.
-I dunno, boy.
-You don't know?
-It was a bitch.
-And you went home unannounced, too?
-Alice got married again.
-She did?
-You didn't even find that out?
-There was so much going on.
-She married an accountant named Stanley Kestenbaum.
-Dead!
-Jesus.
-Alice is dead?
-No, no--shit no. Excuse me, Penelope.
-For what?
-For saying "shit." Or is that okay now?
-Who's dead?
-My mother-in-law. Fire engines, pulmotors, doctors, cops, coroners--
-What happened?
-Well--I walked up to the front door. I was still alive. Big surprise. I rang the doorbell, and old Mrs. Wheeler answered. She had her Goddamn knitting. I said, "Guess who?" She conked right out.
-How horrible.
-And you, Colonel? Let me guess: You don't know.
-So long, you guys.
-What will you do, Colonel?
-Mr. Ryan just borrowed my birthday cake. I don't really know him.
-Thought you were another wife, maybe.
-I'm only ten years old.
-That's what he wanted--a ten-year- old wife. He'd come home from a war or a safari, and he'd wind up talking to the little kids.
-Won't you please join our club? Please?
-Aha! Hello! You're Mildred, right?
-I heard you were looking for me.
-You were Harold Ryan's third wife. Right?
-Yes.
-You want to join the Harold Ryan Fan Club? Wear a pink jacket with a yellow streak up the back?
-Because he was cruel?
-Premature ejaculation.
-Ach soooooooooo. MILDRED No grown woman is a fan of premature ejaculation. Harold would come home trumpeting and roaring. He would the kick the furniture with his boots, spit into corners and the fireplace. He would make me presents of stuffed fish and helmets with holes in them. He would tell me that he had now earned the reward that only a woman could
-That is sad.
-Is it? I have this theory about why men kill each other and break things.
-Ja?
-She's my date tonight. What do you want her to do--bring the poor old jaguars back to life with a bicycle pump? Bugger off! Ask Paul what he thinks. Your mother looks beautiful--right? Kid? Doesn't your mother look nice? Paul?
-I don't care what she wears.
-Something's made you sore.
-Don't worry about it.
-You bet I'll worry about it. I said something wrong?
-It's my father's birthday--that's all. That's all. Who cares about that?
-I had not the slightest inkling. Why didn't you say so?
-She doesn't care! She's not married any more! She's going to have fun! I hope you have so much fun you can hardly stand it. Dr. Woodly--I hope you make up even better jokes about my father than the ones you've said so far.
-Kid--kid--
-And I wish you'd quit touching me all the time. It drives me nuts!
-What's this?
-Don't!
-You sure misunderstood something-- and we'd better get it straight.
-Don't touch me. Get out of the way.
-I worship your father. That stuffed alligator your mother gave me--the one he shot? It's the proudest thing in my apartment.
-Thank God!
-That goes double for me.
-I don't want to live any more.
-I feel like I want to yell my head off--just yell anything. Bulllllllllllllll-dickey!
-I'll kill myself.
-Don't touch me.
-Wouldn't you rather have your mother marry me than him?
-No.
-And this is my son, Paul. He was only four years old when his father disappeared.
-He's coming back, Mom! He's the bravest, most wonderful man who ever lived.
-I told you this was a simple-minded play.
-Maybe he'll come back tonight! It's his birthday.
-I know.
-Stay home tonight!
-Oh, Paul--
-You're married! You've already got a husband!
-He's a ghost!
-He's alive!
-Not even Mutual of Omaha thinks so anymore.
-If you have to go out with some guy--can't he be more like Dad? Herb Shuttle and Norbert Woodly-- can't you do better than those two freaks?
-Thank you, kind sir.
-A vacuum cleaner salesman and a fairy doctor.
-A what kind of doctor?
-A fairy--a queer. Everybody in the building knows he's a queer.
-That's an interesting piece of news.
-You're the only woman he ever took out.
-Not true.
-Still lives with his mother.
-You know she has no feet! You want him to abandon his mother, who has no husband, who has no money of her own, who has no feet?
-How did she lose her feet?
-In a railroad accident many years ago.
-I was afraid to ask.
-Norbert was just beginning practice. A real man would have sold her to a catfood company, I suppose. As far as that goes, J. Edgar Hoover still lives with his mother.
-I didn't know that.
-A lot of people don't.
-J. Edgar Hoover plays sports.
-I don't really know.
-I hate that thing.
-Where will you be?
-Are you and Dr. Woodly engaged?
-Who have you been talking to?
-Yes, he is.
-Is Norbert still here?
-No.
-Then who flushed the toilet?
-Father's friend.
-What's his name?
-Don't know.
-Mom?
-That man is your father.
-What?
-There stands the loins from which you've sprung.
-I don't get it.
-That's why I'm crying.
-What are his symptoms?
-Shivers and sweats and groans. His teeth chatter. What'll we do?
-What does he say to do?
-Really?
-It is an emergency, isn't it?
-Yeah.
-Then get him.
-Peace, everybody--Paul, Penelope.
-You're taking Mom out tonight?
-We don't have a maid any more.
-Everything stays as it is!
-A monument to a man who thought that what the world needed most was more rhinoceros meat.
-My father!
-I apologize. But you didn't know him, and neither did I. How's your asthma?
-Don't worry about it.
-How's the fungus around your thumbnail?
-It's fine!
-I hate that thing.
-It came yesterday. I haven't opened it yet.
-I didn't get his name. A friend of your father?
-He isn't any friend of Father.
-He isn't?
-He is my father.
-Please--
-He's not anybody to tell somebody else what to do in a master bedroom.
-I keep having this nightmare--that he catches us.
-Doing what?
-He'd kill me. He'd be right to kill me, too--the kind of guy he is.
-Or was. We haven't done anything wrong, you know.
-He'd assume we had.
-That's something I suppose.
-All through the day I'm so confident. That's why I'm such a good salesman, you know? I have confidence, and I look like I have confidence, and that gives other people confidence. People laugh sometimes when they find out I'm a vacuum cleaner salesman. They stop laughing, though, when they find out I made forty-three thousand dollars last year. I've got six other salesmen
-I'm glad.
-I was captain of the wrestling team at Lehigh University.
-I know.
-If you want to wrestle, you got Lehigh. If you want to play tennis, you go to Vanderbilt.
-I don't want to go to Vanderbilt.
-Yes?
-Something happens to my confidence.
-This conversation took place, incidentally, about three months before Harold was declared legally dead.
-When Harold is definitely out of the picture, Penelope, when I don't have to worry about doing him wrong or you wrong or Paul wrong. I'm going to ask you to be my wife.
-I'm touched.
-That's when I'll get my confidence back.
-I see.
-If you'll pardon the expression, that's when you'll see the fur and feathers fly. Good night.
-Coming.
-Gentlemen! Is this right for a fight? It's been so long.
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-Just drive, man. It's fucking nuts!
-What's this all about, Connie?
-What are you doing?
-They're methodical. They're nothing if they're not that.
-Who?
-C.R.S. Who do you think? Jesus H., thank your lucky charms. To think what I almost got you into.
-Yeah, almost...
-You dodged a bullet.
-How do you mean, exactly?
-They fuck you and they fuck you and they fuck you. And then, just when you think it's done, that's when the <u>real</u> fucking begins.
-Slow down, take a breath...
-It doesn't stop, Nick. I paid the bill, I gave 'em their money, but it all started again. They won't leave me alone...
-What have they been doing to you?
-Everything. I'm a goddamn human-pinata...
-Calm down. Why would they keep playing after you paid?
-It's them. They did this.
-It's a flat tire. That's all.
-How do you know?
-We're going to figure this out. Get a grip on yourself.
-The phone's dead.
-Really?
-Do you know how to change a tire?
-How did those... ?
-You're part of it...
-No! You're one of them. Of course, it makes perfect sense!
-No, it doesn't! Those keys were put there. I didn't even know...
-You're behind this, aren't you? You and your sick friends. Well, make it stop!
-Listen to yourself. Why would I do anything like what you're describing?
-Because you hate me. Because you had to be here, when mom died. Because you had to do it alone. Well, don't you think if I'd known... I'd've been here too. I'd have been here...
-Stop this. It's not true...
-I'm sorry, Christ, I'm sorry! How many more times do I have to say I'm sorry before you forgive me... ?
-You know... how'd you manage the gun? I mean...
-What?
-Really?
-Yeah.
-Split it?
-Oh, God yes please. Thanks, man. I'll take you up on that.
-Where's Christine? The waitress.
-Yeah, yeah. She called a cab. Said something about catching a plane.
-No money, no identification or passport. You are in a fix. What did happen to you?
-Well, where to begin. It's complicated...
-What happened was, I'm on vacation, alone... I was robbed, at gunpoint. They hit me and ran. Two men, a few blocks away. They took my wallet, money... all of it. So...
-Robbed?
-Yes.
-Have you gone to the police?
-We'll help with the police, if you want to bother. As far as money goes... can I make a suggestion? You say you were mugged?
-Yes.
-How much is it? A few thousand, at least. A Rolex like that... lucky for you they missed it.
-I need your car, Elizabeth.
-What happened to you, Nick? I mean, look at yourself...
-I know, look at me, well... What happened? I don't know. I don't even really know. I have some things to try to take care of... I need the car a little while.
-The last few days, um... I've been thinking... had a lot of spare time. I want to tell you... I'm starting to understand why you left me. I've been resenting you for it, maybe, but ... I want to apologize, for all of it. For shutting you out, for not being there. I... Anyway, I hope you can forgive me.
-There's nothing to forgive.
-It would mean a lot to me... if you and I could be friends. If I could have you back in my life... in some small way. It would be important.
-It's just a t.v. He's just an actor.
-I'll explain someday.
-We have to head out... just wanted to say goodbye.
-You're going? Well, thanks again. Good to see you, Rachel... Thanks for coming, Mel. I'll get your car back. Right now it's, uh... at the zoo. Sorry.
-Happy Birthday, Nicholas.
-I'll call. I really will.
-Jim Feingold, V.P., E.D.A. Engineering and Data Analysis.
-I'm not quite sure how this works. My brother...
-V-A-N... O-R-T-O-N... A gift from Conrad Van Orton. Interesting...
-Your brother was a client with our London branch. We do a sort of informal scoring. His numbers were outstanding. Sure you're not hungry at all... ? Tung Hoy, best in Chinatown...
-No, thank you.
-I don't write the questions. I just review them.
-What's all this for?
-We want a sense of your overall capabilities, limitations, turn-ons, turn-offs...
-No, I mean, what is it FOR? What are you selling?
-Oh... it's a game.
-A game?
-Tailored specifically to each participant. Think of it as a great vacation, except you don't go to it, it comes to you.
-What kind of vacation?
-It's different every time.
-Humor me with specifics.
-We provide whatever's lacking.
-And if nothing's lacking?
-May I make two suggestions... ?
-Do you really expect me to participate without knowing a single thing?
-How long will these take?
-An hour for those... maybe another for the physical.
-Physical?
-Sorry to keep you waiting.
-Don't worry. It's been terrific spending the entire day with your "crack team".
-One guarantee. Payment's entirely at your brother's discretion and, as a gift, dependent on your satisfaction.
-You mean, I don't like it, he doesn't pay?
-It's never happened. We've never had an unsatisfied customer.
-You mean, <u>dis</u>satisfied.
-Get rid of them.
-Look, it was just a job. Nothing personal, ya know? I play my part, improvise a little. That's what I'm good at.
-I'm tired of dealing with peons. I need to get to whoever's in charge.
-Goddamnit, why do they do that?
-How do I find them? Their offices are empty.
-They know you... you worked for them. You can get me in.
-No, I can't. I'm sorry and all, but...
-Tell them the cops are after you... tell them you've got to talk to someone, I'm threatening to blow the whistle.
-Drive in.
-What are you gonna do anyway? You won't get your money back.
-You don't need me...
-Where?
-I told you, they hired me over the phone. I never met anyone.
-Where'd you pick up your checks?
-It was a different floor then...
-Guess!
-I need the police.
-You know, these fit... perfectly.
-I've been so lonely.
-I can't tell you how <u>not</u> interested I am.
-Don't be nervous. They said you'd be nervous.
-Isn't this what you like? They told me you had a thing for boats.
-Ah, Mr. Van Orton. Here you go...
-Show Mr. Van Orton to his room.
-The key?
-Hm?
-Is there a room key?
-Didn't I give you two?
-Thank you.
-Dinner's in the oven.
-You did? How is he?
-Okay. I think he's into some sort of new personal improvement cult.
-Is everything alright?
-Fine.
-I've finished for the evening. Will you be needing anything else?
-No, thank you. Goodnight.
-Mr. Van Orton... ?
-Ilsa... you're alright?
-Yes. What do you mean? What's wrong?
-Did the alarm go off? The house... they... you didn't see... ?
-I don't know what you're talking about. What's happened?
-What makes you ask?
-All the time I've known you, you've never once asked about him.
-Your mother thought he was a good man. He worked very hard. What I remember most was his manner was so... slight. It was easy to spend time in a room, and not realize he'd been there the whole time.
-Was he morose, or...? I mean...
-No. What happened... no one expected it.
-Sometimes I wonder how much of him there is in me.
-Not much, I think.
-I'm just like him.
-You're not like him at all. I don't know exactly what's going on around here lately, but don't make me start worrying about you.
-Did you worry about him?
-Goodnight. See you home.
-What's the trouble?
-Pleasure to meet you, I'd like to see my brother, thank you.
-Your brother. Will you come with me?
-What's this about?
-It's a private matter, for you... I think you'll be more comfortable...
-There were complaints by other guests, and damage to his room. We did the best we could to accommodate his behavior.
-His behavior... ?
-He couldn't, or refused to pay. We extended credit...
-Look, where is he?!
-Invitations: the Museum Gala.
-No.
-The Fitzwilliam Botanical Garden Annual Fundraiser.
-No.
-The Hinchberger wedding.
-Let me think... Hordes of men in tuxedos. Everyone's droning. Ludwell's trying to break the ice by reciting an off-color limerick...
-I'll send your regrets. Honestly, why must I even bother?
-Your ex-wife.
-I don't like her.
-I wouldn't mention the following, except he was very insistent. It's obviously some sort of prank...
-What?
-A gentleman left a message requesting a lunch, but I assured him...
-What gentleman, Maria?
-"Under the Bleachers"... by Seymour Butts.
-Pardon me? I'm afraid I don't...
-What the fuck... ?!
-Why are you following me?
-Look... what I'm doing is none of your business...
-Is Alan Baer "the Game?" Is that what this is?
-Hey... !
-Anything wrong... ?
-I wasn't expecting you.
-Attractive...
-Don't ask.
-What's happened...
-Nicholas...
-How concerned should I be?
-Someone's playing hardball. It's complicated. Can I ask a favor?
-You know you can.
-Find out about a company called C.R.S. Consumer Recreation Services.
-Sounds like they make tennis rackets. What do we know?
-Just what I told you.
-Christ... I can't believe it... invisible ink?
-You're joking.
-Very well. If you tell me not to worry, I shan't.
-He hasn't called back.
-Illegal surveillance, reckless endangerment...
-Bravo, young man. you have to tell me what this was all about sometime. I want you to know... when it looked there for awhile like you were going slowly insane... I was fully prepared to have you committed to the <u>finest</u> mental-health facility available. I mean that sincerely, don't thank me.
-Hi. I'm Todd Aubochon.
-Greetings fellow insomniac.
-These old Victorian houses are great, aren't they?
-You know what I love about wine that comes in bottles like this?
-What?
-Hi, Luke Sanderson, bad sleeper, I'm your basic tosser-turner, and you are...
-Uh... Nell Vance...
-And what kind of sleeper?
-Well, I... uh...
-I only saw Theo drive up.
-The children. The children Hugh Crain built the house for. The children he never had.
-Couldn't get the last ones. You?
-Welcome Home Eleanor. Welcome Home? I've never been here. Who did this?
-Modelling small-group dynamics in the formation of narrative hallucinations. You brought us here to scare us. Insomnia, that was just a decoy issue. You're disgusting.
-And this is my assistant, Mary Lambretta.
-So why did you need the Addam's Family mansion for a scientific test?
-That could have been worse.
-Luke, can I talk to you?
-Sure.
-Because... well, I know I can trust you.
-Why?
-Do you need me anymore? Cause I'm going to bed. They can stay up talking another 45 minutes if they want, but I gotta try to get some sleep.
-And those are Luke's and mine.
-I gave my key to the gate to Todd, but the Dudleys'll be here in the morning.
-Do we still get paid for the week?
-Is that the question of compassion or science?
-It's a question.
-It's not going to hold your weight.
-You're not telling us something.
-The rest of you may hate your insomnia, but I find it the best time of the day for me. I'm alone. Nobody's talking to me but myself. My mind is racing with ideas, and I can think.
-He said that Hugh Crain... Hugh Crain was a monster. He said that he was a brutal, horrible man. He told me that Crain drove his workers to early deaths. Crain had children chained to the looms in his mill. And listen to this: his beautiful Rene killed herself.
-Hey! I heard screaming...
-Well, this lot is full!
-I didn't do it.
-You could have.
-So could you! Is this some fucked up idea of art, putting someone else's name to a painting?
-Mister very talky, would you please say what it is about this study that bothers you?
-We're fucked. We're in a haunted house and we can't get out until the morning.
-You don't really believe it's haunted... Do you believe in ghosts?
-That depends on your definition of ghosts. I'm going to check on her, and then I'm going to stay awake.
-All night?
-Yeah.
-You want company?
-You used the wrong test.
-Nell --
-Was sure she'd be in here.
-Nell!
-It's still an electric shock!
-Malcolm, this is essential work I'm doing. Just think what my research can do for education. Elementary school classrooms near train tracks or airports, where loud noise is random; this helps to prove the need for sound insulation if the children are ever going to learn to read.
-And that will be a good place to end this study.
-No, Malcolm! Individual performance is only part of it. I know why baseball players choke for no reason, I know why violinists throw up with fear before every concert, and need to, to give a great performance, but what I want to know is, how fear works in a group...
-Not the way you've constructed your group, it's just not ethical!
-Are you working with her?
-Why are you working with her? Mary Lambretta was thrown out of the department for trying to get a Ph.D. in psychic studies.
-And after she was thrown out, she needed a job.
-You don't believe in the paranormal.
-No, but she does, and that's all that matters.
-Does she know that's why you're using her?
-No.
-I, I just can't...
-She needed a job, Malcolm. And she's smart. And she helps me.
-I have a bad feeling about what you're doing.
-Eleanor, how was the drive?
-You can call me Nell, Dr. Marrow.
-Nell. Good enough. And I'm Jim.
-I'm really... honored to be part of this study, Jim.
-You wrote that you had trouble sleeping.
-All the carvings.
-The cold sensation. Who felt it first?
-Theo I think. You've asked us that three times, Doctor Marrow. What's going on?
-Sorry.
-Nell! What's wrong?
-What did it smell like?
-It was very specific.
-All right...
-In the bathroom in my mother's room, the toilet was next to an old wooden table. It smelled like that wood.
-So... smell... is... Smell is the sense that triggers the most powerful memories. And a memory can trigger a smell.
-I wasn't thinking about my mother's bathroom.
-What happened after you smelled it?
-I looked at Theo. She had a look on her face.
-Like she smelled it too?
-Yes.
-And then what happened?
-Hmm.
-I'm sorry. I'm messing up the study.
-Are you coming to confess?
-Let's say it wasn't you. Who did it?
-I don't know.
-It was a stupid thing to do.
-It was.
-Welcome Home.
-You'll never see it again. Mr. Dudley's taking care of it. I'm sorry, Nell. Can I show you something you'd like to see?
-Someone is playing with you.
-Why?
-I don't know.
-What is that tune?
-Nell... please, Nell... take a deep breath...
-I hadn't done a study of how group fear affects individual performance. Mass hysteria is like a story, Nell. A communal story. Someone starts it. Then we all add a little more to it. And then for some reason -- no one knows how -- we start believing it. This story shapes what we see and hear. We interpret everything through it, make it
-Why would we want to do that, Nell?
-The children want me. They're calling me. They need me.
-But you told me to look in the paper! You told me I'd be perfect!
-Nell, the first time I ever spoke with you in person was the night we met here.
-No.
-Come on.
-What'll happen to us, Nell?
-You know what he's really upset about?
-What?
-You hear the vibrations in the wire. There's a magnetic pulse in the wires, you feel it. I could test it.
-Yes, this is Doctor Marrow.
-How'd I know it was for you?
-Here's how they're organized. Groups of five, very different personalities: scored all over the Kiersey Temperament Sorter just like you asked for. And they all score high on the insomnia charts.
-What's this? What's this... this picture?
-That? That's Hill House.
-This is where we're going?
-What happened?
-Have either of you seen David Watts?
-When do we take the tests?
-Well this is a cozy breakfast.
-Maybe they're Mary's.
-Get a blanket!
-Your fear of him was real. That's all the ghost anyone needs.
-Is she asleep?
-She needs help.
-He's wandering around the house, and Nell heard him. She thought it was ghosts. Let's go look for him again.
-Oh God, we can't get out!
-I'm not going back to New York City. I'm going to find an apartment with a little flower garden, where you can just see the ocean and at night, when the wind comes in just right, you can hear the sound of the harbor. What about you?
-I'm a scientist. I just conducted an experiment. Now I have to write it up.
-What do you want?
-Oh! You scared me.
-Me? No. What are you doing here?
-Are you Mister Dudley, the caretaker?
-Yeah, I'm Mister Dudley, the caretaker. What are you doing here?
-Why do you need a chain like that?
-Is there something about the house?
-That's where she hanged herself.
-Who?
-Why?
-Why'd she kill herself?
-Yes.
-She was unhappy.
-Why?
-It's make the soup or answer the door. Can't do both.
-Mrs. Dudley.
-They're so beautiful. Aren't they?
-I've seen 'em. Lot to dust.
-It's a job. I keep banker's hours. I set dinner on the dining room sideboard at six. You can serve yourselves. Breakfast is ready at nine. I don't wait on people. I don't stay after dinner. Not after it begins to get dark. I leave before dark comes. We live in town. Nine miles. So there won't be anyone around if you need help.
-Why would we --
-No one could. No one lives any nearer than town.
-And what you're wearing, that's great, too.
-This? It's from a thrift shop.
-What did it cost?
-Fifteen dollars.
-That'd be seventy in New York. You stole it!
-It's all I could afford.
-Wait. You're not wearing that ironically? This is really you?
-Don't worry, I probably won't be in here much. Light sleeper.
-That's why we're here.
-What do you do?
-I'm between jobs right now. My last job... it... the person I was working for... the job ended. Over. So... And you?
-Not really.
-Don't tell me Boston is different from New York.
-Ohh, sure, you have trouble with commitment.
-My boyfriend thinks so, my girlfriend doesn't. If we could all live together... but... they hate each other. It's hard to be Miss Perversity when you're the only one at the party. D'you know what I mean?
-No.
-A blank canvas! I could paint your portrait, directly on you. Or maybe not. So, you? Husbands? Boyfriends? Girlfriends? Where do you live?
-Jeez.
-I love this house. I really love this house.
-A monster? But he built this for the woman he loved, like the Taj Mahal.
-You've been out of the world for a long time, haven't you?
-Yes. I've missed it.
-Good night, Theo.
-If this was some sort of joke, I'm going to kill him.
-Yes. I feel realy rested, too. Theo?
-How could he have left without his keys?
-Watts?
-What's his first name?
-David.
-David?
-Is it over?
-Theo... Did you?
-Maybe you did it yourself.
-Why?
-That's so sad.
-There's hundreds of them. This must be a record of the children who died at the mills, like Luke said.
-Well, it wasn't me. Mister Dudley had to clean it and he knows that he's in charge of all the messes so why would he make more work for himself and... You said the Good Doctor was with you.
-I don't know what to think anymore.
-I've never had a pedicure before.
-Well?
-I'm sorry I was mad at you, Theo.
-I'll take that as a compliment. In the city, what kind of place do you live in?
-You want to move to New York, you want to move in with me?
-My place isn't like yours, Nell, it doesn't have a view of sea. It doesn't have a view of anything. What's interesting about the way I live is what goes on inside the walls. Living with me... My boundaries aren't very well defined, Nell. Do you know what I mean?
-Are you sure?
-I think so.
-Marrow said the same thing as last night, he <u>says</u> -- -- that he checked with Mrs. Dudley. And he says that she told him that all the fireplaces in the West Wing connect to the main chimney. He says that he thinks that the flue was open, and with the windstorm, he says that what probably happened was some kind of freak air
-Then who is? Come on, Nell. Deep down, if you really thought it wasn't Jim, why wouldn't you be leaving right this second? Why wouldn't you be afraid? Really afraid.
-Nell, what happened?
-This is real, I'm not making it up! Theo, you saw it! You were there -- the banging and last night. You, you all saw the painting!
-Nell, it makes sense. It all makes sense. You and I, we were scaring each other, working each other up.
-I'm going to stay with you until you fall asleep. And then I'm going to get some brandy.
-I don't think I want any.
-They're all in here. All the ones he killed. They're just children! We have to help them!
-What'd you come back for, babe?
-Oh, Theo. You know I don't have an apartment.
-Adhara. I told your father, if you're looking for a name, you can't go wrong with a constellation.
-I used to hate it. Now I like it.
-Is there anything in the world that you want or need?
-I <u>want</u> to know why you <u>need</u> that scary guy in your house.
-Gordon? He's been with me for years. He's not as tough as he looks.
-Then what good is he?
-Is it possible that you're too young to be acquainted with the idea of loyalty?
-Is that a problem?
-Not for you, clearly.
-I'm loyal to things that make me happy.
-Am I a thing?
-Well, you're certainly not a person.
-I'm not.
-No. You're not specific enough to be a person. You're more like a vibe.
-I'm so glad we're having this chat.
-It's not a knock.
-It's not a compliment.
-It's an observation. Like: I'm hungry. When are we eating?
-As soon as you get dressed.
-What kind of food?
-Anything but Japanese.
-Why?
-I'm not into finger foods. Too fussy.
-Like you.
-I don't like do-it-yourself cuisine. Buffets. Salad bars.
-You demand to be served. A fork fetishist.
-It's just fuel to me. I'm not there for distractions.
-For some, eating is a sensual experience. <u>The</u> sensual experience.
-That's what Gordon's always saying.
-Italian?
-I'm sorry.
-Italian.
-Who?
-Not who, food. Should we get Italian.
-I like the colors.
-We all did.
-Hey, I thought you weren't a buffet person.
-I've lived in L.A. all my life, I've never done this drive.
-What's the matter?
-Nothing. I guess it's hard to pass on this road.
-The freeway's faster, but lacks a certain majesty.
-Just feels like the car behind has been following us the longest time.
-We think someone is here.
-We think?
-No.
-Why not?
-Hey.
-How they goin', kid?
-Not bad.
-How'd you like to kill someone for me?
-Same as last time -- the rest after.
-Where do we go?
-When you find the guy, you'll know.
-What shit is this. I just do it. I don't prepare it.
-I'll point you in the right direction, but you'll have to take it to the end- zone. He's a hit-and-run gunman -- I figure he's not cruising the Polo Lounge.
-This is un-fucking professional.
-See, a successful man like me has limitations -- I lose touch at a street level. So I have to depend on a smart boy like you who's closer to the nitty and the gritty than I am.
-Fuck you, Mr. whatever-your-name is. This is a lifestyle I embrace.
-What.
-There's been some trouble downtown.
-What kind?
-What the papers used to call a "gangland slaying."
-Our black friends?
-No, Terry. They don't work like that. Jenny Wilson's father paid a little visit, left a message.
-I thought he was in prison, in England.
-You should have let me do the talking.
-Why, because you're my security consultant? This cocksucker nearly burnt my house down.
-I mean, Gordon must weigh a good four hundred pounds.
-Heavier than that now. But are there any drugs in that stomach to back up your story.
-As it happens. I didn't make that part up.
-And where is this guest? Don't they want to interview him.
-Where do <u>you</u> think he is, Mike.
-We'll find him.
-No. I mean. Not even your people should be involved. Right? It's too close now.
-You could use a few of my prime shitkickers up here.
-You think I'm staying?
-There's already gonna be talk about how people close to you keep falling into canyons.
-You broke last time.
-Let him break - he likes to break.
-Fuck you.
-I wouldn't talk.
-Huh?
-Oh really? Where you from?
-England. Only, we saw there was a show on, thought I might pick something up for a price, type of thing.
-You came to the right place, sir. My wife's second cousin is English. Well, Scotch-Irish. Can I interest you in a holster?
-Just luck, this, really. Never been to one of these before.
-You're in gun country now, my friend.
-Been to the Boat Show.
-I can take care of the paperwork.
-Yeah?
-Man knows what he likes.
-Lookin' good.
-That's a high-end item. Total reliability.
-What'd you call that -- the Protector?
-CQ what?
-Edward Rama?
-Eduardo. Rama.
-I didn't expect anyone.
-No reason.
-I mean, what has it been -- six months?
-I didn't even know who I was writing to -- just someone with the same last name. She never talked about any family.
-Who done it, then?
-Huh?
-I never said nothin' about nothin' like that. No, no, no. That's not what I wrote to you.
-This bloke she was bunked up with. This Terry what'sit.
-Terry Valentine.
-Valentine. What's he got to say for himself?
-What more is there.
-Coulda happened to anyone, man. I never knew her to be reckless. I mean, sure, she would smoke a little grass, or something, have a few drinks. But that's it, nothing more than that.
-No, not my girl. Self-control, she had. Point of pride. And people don't change, do they.
-Boomerang.
-Y'what?
-I knew when I was droppin' that letter into the mail slot it was gonna come back and smack me in the face. I did my time, okay? My sister, her ol' man's up in Chino right now doin' eight years.
-This ain't your lot?
-I go to work, try to keep my life together, put all that shit behind me, man. What d'you want from me.
-What, tryin' to catch him with another bird?
-That's what I thought, man. But it was not a hotel or nothin' that we went to. It was someplace else.
-Bad place, man. Bad people. Some guys loading some trucks. Some kinda deal goin' down. I don't know and I don't care. Maybe they're shipping fava beans to Eskimos.
-Did Jenny know?
-What you gonna do, man? You gonna go to the cops?
-Nah, coppers don't do nothing, do they.
-You should talk to Elaine. That was her best friend.
-She didn't write to me, did she.
-She didn't know what to say. I thought someone should say something. To someone. With me it was, I don't know -- Jenny liked me for some reason. I felt like I owed her.
-Who'd Jenny get it off of -- this grass or whatever?
-Not me, man. I'm no drug dealer, what you think.
-I think you didn't get that lot in the Navy, doing your National Service.
-I already told you, man. Corcoran. Know what that is? State prison.
-Nick's a nick, n' it? No matter what state you're in. State of remorse, most likely -- for gettin' caught.
-You're kiddin' me, right?
-What do I do, then, look in the bleedin' Yellow Pages?
-These are not guys you can just go run a number on, man.
-Are you a resident of California? You gonna fill out forms, man? Do the background check? Go through a three-day waiting period?
-Sod that. Gotta get back before my probation officer wonders where I've skived off to.
-Probation? Man, you crazy. They shouldn't've let you outta your country, much less prison.
-He don't have a concealed weapons permit.
-No. Not at all. Do we?
-Not me, man.
-You hadda show up on a weekend. This weekend. Wouldn't've even been a gun show ... for another month.
-Now what. You gonna take your new arsenal, go visit Terry Valentine, just like that? Boom bam boom.
-It's only insurance. Can't be too careful. This Terry Valentine, he's probably a wonderful fella. They were together how long?
-Five years, I think. Long time.
-Jenny told me she met him at the beach. Got blinded by his smile. You believe that shit? Son of a bitch never smiled at me. Buried her at a "private" service. Private for who. Him?
-Hang about. I thought you said he come into the restaurant where you worked with Jenny.
-He came in with Jenny to the restaurant where I work. That's not where they met.
-And that's where you met Jenny.
-No, no -- Jenny used to work as a waitress. Before she met him. But that's not where she met me. Not in my restaurant.
-How'd the two of you hook up, then?
-Told you you wouldn't be able to see through that gate.
-Gate's open. I had a butcher's at the house.
-Who'd you butcher at the house?
-Butcher's hook. Look. I don't much reckon those minders of his.
-Huh?
-He's brought in the heavy mob.
-What?
-Extra muscle. Bodyguards.
-Has he?
-That was one of them?
-What's so fucking funny?
-Valets. What d'ya mean valets. What is he, then, the Earl of fucking Doncaster?
-Valets, eh? Aren't we all la-de-da.
-I thought you just wanted to check out the house, man.
-Well, that's what we're doin', n' it.
-No one else is even here yet.
-What are we standing on?
-Bring the motor around. Bang out in front, right?
-You goin' back inside?
-Steady on.
-Why didn't you just kill him, you had the chance.
-That would be too easy.
-Too easy?
-He's gotta know why.
-I've been wondering something.
-Again?
-Do you have any friends, man?
-Useless gits. I was gonna do the Post Office once.
-What post office?
-What d'you say, Elaine?
-Not much -- you?
-Same.
-Uh-huh.
-Last time I saw you, weren't you up for some equity-waiver thing?
-Probably.
-I was gonna be in that Michael Mann movie, you know -- with Pacino and DeNiro. Got three callbacks.
-Really.
-Didn't get it.
-Well, those are the breaks.
-Not no more, they ain't. I quit that acting shit, man.
-You just cooking then?
-Hey, Elaine. You even know what he's saying half the time?
-... Reminds me of Jennifer.
-I thought maybe you just came for the ride.
-Had a feeling it was you.
-You look alike.
-Perhaps it was the smoke.
-Not her brand.
-Why did you come here?
-Wanted to talk to you, didn't I?
-Sort a few things out.
-Been busy, have you.
-How d'you mean?
-It's been a while.
-I was skint -- didn't have no money to get here.
-That's not what I heard.
-What was that, then?
-I heard you were -- what's that adorable phrase? -- "at Her Majesty's pleasure."
-In any case, I don't suppose the salary you make sewing mailbags is really commensurate with international airline travel.
-Sewing mailbags? Me? Never did an honest day's work in my life, dear. Wasn't about to start when I was in stir -- not with all that leisure time on my hands.
-And not with all that buried loot you had waiting for you when you got out. From the Wembley Staduim job, wasn't it? Pink Floyd concert receipts. Jenny would've been ... fourteen at the time?
-Hardly buried. Earning interest, love. Earning interest in an offshore account. Tidy little premium per annum, that.
-Here, aren't you gonna let me in.
-... No, I went in for more improving pastimes. Philosophy classes, language courses, European history, all that lark. Did you know that in Paris in the Eighteenth Century there were more rats in people's houses than there were people in people's houses.
-Sounds like Beverly Hills.
-Here, are you always this sarky?
-Sarcastic, moi? Maybe I'll mellow when my ship comes in. It's expected any day now. I'm all packed and ready to go.
-Weren't you on a television series?
-If it played in England somebody owes me money. Who told you that -- Eddie?
-Said it went on for donkey's years.
-Three seasons. They found that's the limit of human tolerance when it comes to following the adventures of a family of Mormons on the Chisum Trail. I was wife number three -- the ingenue.
-Oh, it just ended, then.
-Now who's being sarcastic?
-When you've lost as many years as I have, love, puts things in perspective, know what I mean.
-I can't believe Jenny told you all that. About me. She was always so embarrassed.
-Not embarrassed.
-Ashamed.
-Disappointed.
-She never told Eddie, though.
-She never told anyone else. About the convict strain -- or is it stain? No, I was privileged. I was someone who helped Jenny efface her past.
-How'd you manage that, then.
-When I'm not honing my craft in episodic television I do double-duty as a voice coach. Not that her accent would have hobbled her progress. Not with that look.
-Yeah, well, she started all that in London.
-Modelling.
-You weren't disappointed in her, then.
-In Jenny? 'Course not. How could I be. 'Course I wasn't.
-She was twenty-one when she came to me. ... Straight from leaving you.
-Footloose and fancy free.
-When did you get in?
-Yesterday. Afternoon.
-You haven't been lurking outside my building all day.
-No, I had -- some other matters to attend to, you know. Getting a car sorted ...
-I might've been away for the weekend.
-Well, I reckoned, Saturday night, if you were goin' out, you'd probably have to come home first.
-And you've seen Eddie Rama.
-I should really give him a call. He's a character, isn't he. Well, not to you. I meant to us squares in the outside world.
-He give me your address.
-I gave him yours. Said, here, you want to write, I think this is a relative. I guess I thought I was being true to Jenny. Who told me she didn't have a father -- before proceeding of course to tell me why.
-Well, don't suppose she did, really, most of her life. On her own after her mum died. Aunts and uncles for a time -- and then the bright lights beckoned.
-Were you still married at the time -- to Jenny's mother, I mean?
-The address Jenny gave me, that wasn't a prison, was it?
-Nah, accommodation address.
-What's that, like a P.O. box.
-Something like that, yeah.
-I already knew. Knew beforehand. When was it supposed to have happened? -- two o'clock in the morning, Eddie said.
-That's what was estimated.
-Do you even know who Terry Valentine is?
-Lives high off the hog and waits for the next big thing. Like me -- but on a grander scale of failure.
-Now, you shouldn't run yourself down. My employer, Mr. Lindgren --
--- Your employer?
--- Mr. Lindgren.
-Who's Mr. Lindgren?
-My employer.
-What line is he in.
-Proprietor of a London firm. Of longstanding.
-I see.
-Based in London, but with international concerns.
-I bet.
-Various enterprises, style of thing.
-I thought you said you never did an honest day's work in your life.
-Well, not to say Mr. Lindgren is dishonest, exactly.
-Right.
-Anyhow, he's always saying to me, Dave, never run yourself down, son -- 'cause there'll always be plenty of people willing to do it for you.
-In what capacity are you employed by this Mr. Lindgren?
-This and that. Y'know. Ways and means.
-So what's the deal. You and Terry Valentine at twenty paces. Is that what this is about.
-Why not.
-Are you serious.
-You fuckin' guys and your dicks.
-What'd you want me to do. Stay at home, twiddlin' me thumbs. Doing sweet F.A. [Fuck All].
-You don't believe it was a car accident.
-What do you think.
-Terry's never going to give you satisfaction. Not the type.
-Depends, don' it.
-On what. What makes you so certain.
-I'll bloody well ask him.
-Jenny was supposed to come to my place that night. She called me, asked if she could come over. She and Terry had been -- having some trouble. Lately. I don't know about what. On this occasion, it reached some sort of crisis point.
-She told you all about my details but not about his. Lovely.
-How did you come to have my address? Found it, did you. Among her things.
-You think Terry gave me access to her things? Probably sold her clothes.
-This town's been chewing my flesh since ... what we now refer to as "the early 70's." Christ, my past became nostalgia and no one even asked me.
-Early 70's. I was away. Maidstone. Possibly Brixton.
-You don't seem bothered.
-You don't know how I've compromised my standards.
-Tell us about it.
-It's too involved; a lifetime of non- involvement. Anywhere else I'd be an interesting little number, here I'm just SAG number forty-eight thousand and one. SAG meaning Screen Actor's Guild.
-Oh, I was gonna say ...
-Still, there have been rewards. It's sunny. And some of the producers who call even have credits.
-What did you do? To make them take the early 70's away from you.
-A jeweller's up the West End. We tunnelled our way under the shop floor from the public lavatory down the road. Filthy work. Trouble was, the bloody thing collapsed -- <u>after</u> we'd made the grab, 'n all. Would you Adam n' Eve it.
-You mean if they'd nabbed you before you actually broke and entered you would only have been charged with making a mess.
-We were <u>lucky</u> to be nicked. Me and the lads went down there Sunday evening, we weren't discovered till the Monday. Good job we were still breathing.
-It didn't discourage you, though.
-Hey?
-From pursuing your chosen profession.
-I'll tell ya something: it made me a model prisoner. Put me right off any escape attempts. Tunnel my way to freedom after that experience? Not bloody likely.
-I was inside once. I punched a cop at a demo.
-Did you. What was that in aid of?
-Who remembers.
-Get seven years, did you?
-Overnight. What about just now?
-Just now? Overnight?
-You <u>have</u> been away. Or is all this just new to you?
-It's true. Has to be said. I got off to a slow start.
-I don't believe it.
-Honest. Didn't know where to look till I was 21.
--- they want Southern, I do Southern, they want Midwest, I do Midwest, they want tall, blonde, and twenty-two, I'm shit out of luck. One thing I can't do is English. Americans can't. Shouldn't even try. And Laurence Olivier couldn't do us.
-You ever been to London?
-Only in the movies.
-I've 'ardly ever left it.
-Yeah, well, you're here now -- -- where <u>h</u>urricanes <u>h</u>ardly ever <u>h</u>appen.
-I've got the hang of the driving. Found this place all right.
-Not that I recall.
-What about your grandmother?
-Nah -- she was married to me grandad -- he was as bent as a boomerang -- used to make knuckle-dusters down the shop. Crafty old sod.
-He alive to see this?
-Dropped dead in the stalls in the Odeon, Muswell Hill. Watching Doris Day.
-What'd your father do?
-I guess you're just habitual.
-You sound like my fucking probation officer.
-Won't he be looking for you about now?
-Good luck to him. He couldn't find his prick if he didn't wear Y-fronts.
-Minor officials bother you, don't they?
-I got a steady income -- I'm on the dole.
-A leech on the welfare state in addition. You don't miss a trick.
-Last time might as well've been the first. I remember all the times, don't I. Watching her grow up -- in increments.
-She told me you were a ghost in her life. Daddy the friendly ghost. Coming back to haunt her.
-Well, she twigged by the time she was eight or nine that daddy wasn't in the Royal Marines or doing scientific research in the jungles of Borneo or playing Iago in a worldwide tour of OTHELLO.
-She used to tell me she'd turn me in. Little kid. Ten year old. "If you're naughty, Dad, I'll tell on ya." She didn't want me sent down again, see. When I was planning some job. "I'll tell 'em, Dad, I promise I will. Here, look, I'm calling the Old Bill right now" -- picking up the telephone. I can see her, the phone
-She never would have turned you in, not in a million years.
-Where's Big Sur?
-Up the coast.
-How far?
-I don't know -- few hours, I guess.
-Fancy it?
-I could use a vacation. Of course, I keep forgetting, for you this <u>is</u> a vacation.
-Never thought of that. Busman's holiday.
-What's in Big Sur?
-That's where Valentine's scarpered.
-How do you know?
-Friends and <u>colleagues</u>.
-You can't count on very many people, that's the trouble. Number of times a decent job's been cocked up ...
-You're just on a higher plane, Wilson.
-There's one thing I don't understand. The thing I don't understand ... is every motherfucking thing you're saying.
-Look, mush, you're the guv'nor here, I can see that, I'm on your manor now, right. So there's no need to get out of your pram. I'm Johnny-come-lately to all this. Whatever the bollocks between you and this slag Valentine, it's got nothing to do with me. I don't wanna know.
-Well, I'll tell you. I believe this Valentine screwed me out of a fair sum of money.
-I can well believe it. I'm sure he has done, son. He's about as straight as a dog's hind leg.
-But I can't be sure. I don't even know who he is. He's too insulated. Too many layers around him.
-Your guess is as good as mine, mate. I'm here on another matter entirely.
-Yeah, I guess you are.
-Good job your lot showed up when they did or it would've been <u>me</u> for the high jump.
-That dude who works for Valentine. He's the one sent those guys after you. You know that.
-Yeah. Shouldn't wonder. Must've done.
-So what's your beef, pal?
-Nothing financial. Strictly personal. I can see how all this import-export malarkey might give rise to confusion where I'm concerned. A foreigner, showing up unexpectedly, like.
-It was you. Downtown.
-Eh?
-Because that wasn't anything to do with me. And suspicion has been cast in my direction. Didn't make any sense. Choosing those shitheads over me, cutting me out of the deal, then screwing them over too.
-No, I can reassure you on that point. Valentine was just as surprised by that turn of events as you.
-He'd already grabbed more than his allotted cut. Didn't think he'd be so bold as to take all of it.
-All of what?
-Of the deal, man.
-Oh, yeah, right. The deal.
-But if you're mad at him too and he's mad at you ... that must make us pals.
-As you prefer, squire. As you prefer.
-In which case I'll just do what I usually do.
-And that is?
-Valentine had himself a party, I hear.
-My client has already given a statement regarding yesterday's events.
-A <u>statement</u>? I wouldn't mind getting a statement. You see, <u>my</u> client -- the United States Government -- would love to get a statement about a few of the deals going down with your client.
-Deals? My client is involved in any number of deals at any given moment. You'd have to be more specific.
-Your client have a deal in Long Beach? How about downtown? There's some folks there -- oh, wait, they're all dead. Any of this ring a bell?
-My client is an entrepreneur. I am his lawyer, not his business manager.
-So you wouldn't have any idea how your client continues to make so much fucking money.
-He's always been very forward-thinking. He invested wisely.
-Where is he now?
-Don't you work with Ian?
-Ian?
-I could swear I met you with Ian at the EMI offices in London.
-Sorry. Wasn't me.
-You sure?
-Unless I'm not who I think I am.
-That's too bad. Ian's got a good thing going over there.
-Yeah?
-Turned that place completely around. 180 degrees.
-No kidding.
-What I like about Ian, he believes in a chain of command, but not a chain of respect, you understand what I'm saying?
-Right. Chain of respect. That's good, that.
-Yeah. I really admire the guy. Well. Good to meet you.
-Yeah, that's right.
-I would have preferred staying home, me.
-You'll be looking forward to getting back, then.
-Yeah. Another little matter needs attending to soon as I return.
-Been away a lot.
-Out on a oil rig. In the North Sea. Nine years.
-Nine years? Is that legal?
-Well, time off for good behavior, you know. I shouldn't have even been there -- it was these other blokes who shoulda gone in my place. I got lumbered with the job they were responsible for. I don't mind pulling me own cart, but not someone else's, know what I mean.
-But you stuck it out, anyway, all that time.
-I had to, didn't I. Nothing else for it. Then just when I'd finished my nine years -- my contract -- wallop, I had to bugger off to the States.
-Sounds like you need a rest.
-But first I gotta give these lads a talking to, these geezers what sent me up the river, in a manner of speaking.
-The ones whose burden you took upon your own shoulders.
-How much.
-Five thousand.
-Hey.
-I got half.
-Makin' trouble for someone?
-Yeah.
-Which kind?
-Ever take a look at the women who work in pet stores? Wow.
-Good luck.
-Jesus, are you gay enough or what.
-Very attractive. Good idea. Now I <u>really</u> want to fuck you.
-... you can always tell the ones who'll do anal.
-Kinda makes you wonder why more people don't put a bullet through their fuckin' skulls, doesn't it.
-Looks like they just airbrushed the dick out of his mouth.
-Why don't they have TV shows about people whose daily lives you'd be interested in watching. Y'know. Like SKINNY LITTLE WEAKLING. Or BIG FAT GUY. SICK OLD MAN. FAMILY OF LOSERS. Wouldn't that be good?
-Two blacks and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving?
-I don't know.
-Maybe she doesn't even know the English guy.
-Avery said she was tight with his daughter.
-She's nice lookin'.
-So what.
-I dunno. I just said she's nice lookin'.
-And I said so what. You think she's any happier?
-What d'you mean, any happier?
-Straight rotation, no shit, call your shot.
-We coulda used the other two-and-a-half grand.
-There's more than a measly few grand in this.
-There is?
-Something's on.
-What?
-I happen to know more about Mr. Whatever- his-name-is than he thinks I know about him and his operation.
-You do?
-You bet.
-Like what.
-Like he'd never hire me for real. Not week-to-week. I don't have the credentials. He thinks I'm just a sociopath, someone he can turn to when he needs "plausible denial."
-Well, we blew it, didn't we? He ain't wrong.
-"He ain't wrong." Listen, I know this asshole who <u>did</u> just go to work for him. Full-time. And this dickhead's parents just told me he took a road trip up the coast. <u>That's</u> the type of individual gets hired, someone who'll shoot his mouth off to his family while on the job.
-I don't get it.
-I don't know who that English guy is. Some kind of -- -- courier or something. Maybe a seller. Maybe a buyer. But Mr. <u>Avery</u> wanted him, those jigs wanted him -- and I betcha there's a briefcase somewhere.
-What's in it?
-Drugs? Cash? Both if we're lucky.
-How we gonna get that lucky?
-How'd you get in here.
-Walked.
-You walked. What the hell are you doing here.
-He's expecting you?
-So why would he want to see you.
-I have a message for him. About Jennifer Wilson.
-You know her?
-Is Valentine here?
-Where is he, then?
-Hello there.
-What are you doing here?
-Exercising my visitation rights.
-Since when?
-I miss my kids.
-You've made it ... brighter.
-I don't want you here, Terry.
-What kind of trouble are you in?
-Surely you can think of somewhere else to take one of your chippies for a quick getaway.
-Where's ... what's-his-name -- Fred --
--- You know his name is Frank.
-Is he here?
-You know I don't live with him.
-Go to him. Go to his studio, or writers workshop or artists colony, Esselin retreat, nudist camp --
-Are you finished?
-In a couple of days this whole thing --
-Who's looking for you?
-It's been five minutes and I'm packing to leave again. I can't believe this.
-Pleasure.
-Have we met? There's something I can't quite --
-EMI in London. I work with Ian.
-Ah.
-You must know Ian.
-I don't.
-Great bloke. Really turned things around there. 180 degrees.
-I suppose that's good, unless things were fine the way they were.
-Thanks. You, too.
-What.
-Tell me.
-Tell you ...
-She could've had the deal! I would've handed it to her if she wanted. I would have given her everything.
-Hello, Ed.
-...I'm so sorry about your loss.
-Yes. Thank you.
-Oh, I know. Don't worry, Ed. I came to tell you...
-Yes, Ann?
-Yes?
-...Yes?
-At night, there were lights--we both saw them. We never told anyone, outside of our official report.
-Ann--
-A spacecraft. I saw the creatures. They led Big Dave onto the craft. He never told anyone what they did, outside of his report. Of course he told *me*. No one else.
-Ann--
-The government knows. I cannot repeat it to you. But this thing goes deep, Ed. This was not your wife. I goes deep, and involves the government. There is a great deal of fear. You know how certain circles would find it--the knowledge--a threat. They try to limit it, and--
-Ann, will you come in, sit down, maybe have a drink?
-...You don't like the music out there?
-Hello, Rachel.
-I'm so sorry... I was sorry to hear.
-He was deaf when he wrote this.
-Who?
-Hi, Mr Crane.
-Hello, Birdy. I thought that was very good.
-Oh, in there? I messed up a little bit in the scherzo. I guess, if nobody noticed, it's OK. Mr Crane, this is Tony, a friend of mine. Tony, Mr Crane.
-Hello, Mr Crane.
-Hello, Birdy.
-Yeah.
-We've certainly missed you.
-...or maybe I just haven't played 'em right, I don't know. But you're--
-Sure... Sure, it's his house.
-Anyway, uh... my point is you're young. A kid really, your whole life ahead of you. But it's not too soon to start thinking... to start making opportunities for yourself. Before it all washes away.
-Well, sure, I guess. Pop says so too. I work pretty hard at school.
-That's swell. However, the music, if you want to pursue it, well, the lessons from Mrs Swan, they'll only take you so far. There's this guy in San Francisco, I've made inquiries, everybody says he's the best. Trained lots of people who've gone on to have big concert careers, symphony orchestras, the works. His name is Jacques Carcanogues. I'm not sure I'm pronouncing it
-Boy.
-You've got talent, anyone could see that. And he's the best. If he thinks a student has talent, he'll take 'em on for next to nothing. You're a cinch to be accepted, I could cover the cost of the lessons, like I said, it's pretty modest--
-Oh, Mr Crane--
-I have to do it. I can't stand by and watch more things go down the drain. You're young, you don't understand.
-Geez, Mr Crane, I don't know. I hadn't really thought about a career or stuff.
-I know you haven't. Look, just go meet him as a favor to me. I talked to this guy. Hope I pronounced his name right. He sounded very busy, but he's not a bad egg; he loosened up a little when I told him how talented you are. He agreed to see you this Saturday. He said maybe you were a diamond in the
-Geez, Mr Crane.
-...I stank, didn't I?
-He didn't say that.
-But more or less.
-Look, I'm no expert, but--
-It doesn't matter, Mr Crane.
-I'm sure there's a dozen teachers better than this clown. More qualified. Goddamn phony.
-...I'm not certain I'll have a career at all, and if I do, I'll probably be a veterinarian.
-...Uh-huh.
-I do appreciate the interest you've taken, though.
-Ah... it's nothing.
-I'm only sorry that I didn't play better for you. I know it would've made you happy. You know what you are?
-Huh.
-You're an enthusiast.
-...I guess I've been all wet.
-...I wanted to make you happy.
-Birdy--
-...No, please.
-...You are ze fahzer?
-I speak to you on ze phone, non? You have a special interest in music?
-Uh-huh.
-Ah yes, a music lover.
-Well, I don't pretend to be an expert.
-...Mm.
-Ze girl?... She seems like a very nice girl. She *plays*, monsieur, like a very nice girl. Ztinks. Very nice girl. However, ztinks.
-I don't understand.
-Is not so hard to understand. Her playing, very polite.
-Mistake, no, it says E-flat, she plays E-flat. Ping-ping. Hit the right note, always. Very proper.
-I don't understand, no mistakes, she's just a kid--I thought you taught the, uh, the--
-...she can go up there.
-Well, look, I don't claim to be an expert--
-A goose, friend. I was chasing a wild goose. Ed, have you ever heard of venture capital?
-Uh--
-Well, it's the wildest goose there is. Risk money. Very speculative. Except, Ed, in certain situations, it's not, see? I thought I had a prospect here. Well, I make the haul up and this lousy so-and-so tells me his situation has changed--all his capital's gonna be tied up in expansion plans of his own. Thank you, mother! Pop goes another bubble! It's only the
-That right.
-It's called dry cleaning. You heard me right, brother, 'dry cleaning'-- wash without water, no suds, no tumble, no stress on the clothes. It's all done with chemicals, friend, and your garments end up crisp and fresh. And here's the capper: no shrinkage.
-Huh.
-...Ed Crane. Remember? Today?
-Sorry, friend, I, uh, you got me at a disadvantage.
-I'm, uh, I'm--the barber.
-...I didn't recognize you without the smock. Did I--damn--did I leave something at the shop?
-You got the dough?!
-I can get it, yeah.
-Come in, come in, siddown over there. Coffee?
-No. I--tell me--
-Sure.
-What's involved, aside from putting up the money? What're you looking for the partner to do?
-Do? Hell, nothing. Well, you'll want to keep tabs on your investment, of course, but I'm looking for a silent partner. I've done the research, I've contacted the vendors, the deal is set. I'm just looking for venture capital, friend. Disappear if you want, check in whenever you like--I want the dough; I don't take attendance.
-And how do we share--
-Fifty-fifty, straight down the line. You and me. Finance and expertise. So--you've got the dough then, do ya?
-I'll have it in a week.
-...it just goes to show, when one door slams shut, another one opens. Here's to ya, uh...
-...Was that a pass?
-Maybe.
-No problem!
-Way out of line.
-Right! Strictly business.
-...You bring a check?
-Cash.
-...Usually we do this kind of thing with a bank draft. But cash--that's fine--it's all the same in the end-- dough's dough, huh?
-Sure.
-I got the paperwork here. Partnership papers here, they reflect our agreement: fifty-fifty on the net, I supply professional services, you supply the capital. I'll give you a receipt on the dough there, huh?
-Yeah.
-Pretty straightforward, but I don't know if you wanna show this stuff to a lawyer--
-It's OK.
-...Just a second here, I'll give you a receipt on the, uh... Whoa, Nellie... Oh, by the way, we didn't talk about this, I, uh, I think I'm gonna call the place Tolliver's, after me, you know, I didn't think you were much interested in, uh--
-That'll be fine.
-...Yeah, that's it. As per our discussion.
-Well, there it is. Writ large in legal escriture, next step is--
-...You're not gonna screw me on this?
-*Screw* you--Jesus! Take it to a lawyer! No, I insist! This is *dry* cleaning, this is not some fly-by- night thing here! I must say, I've been an entrepreneur for thirteen years and I've never--
-All right.
-And I've never been asked--Look, you want the dough back? You know who I am! You--
-How ya doin', Ed?
-...Were you in the service, Ed?
-...That's quite a wife you got there.
-Mm.
-She's a rare one.
-How's business, Dave?
-Couldn't be better. These're boom times in retailing. We're opening another store, Big Dave's Annex, there on Garson. This is strictly haberdashery--casual wear, pyjamas, ladies' foundations and undergarments. Matter of fact, I'm thinking of making Doris the comptroller. How're things at the, uh, the barbershop?
-All right, I guess.
-...Say, where do you get those things anyway?
-Specialty store down in Sacramento.
-...Ed, I...
-Uh-huh.
-Hell, I, I'm not proud of it. But, uh, that's not the worst of it. I got a note. A blackmail note. You know, come across or everybody knows.
-Uh-huh.
-Well, you know what that would do to me.
-I guess it would be pretty awkward.
-Awkward?! Ann'd throw me out on my keister! Hell, it's her family's store--*her* store. I serve at the indulgence of the goddamn ownership, Ed.
-Uh-huh.
-I only work here! And the lady's husband would know... Oh, Jesus.
-How much to they want, Dave?
-$10,000! I don't know what to do, Ed. I don't know what I *can* do. Even though I know who the sonofabitch is.
-...You know... who *who* is?
-The sonofabitch. The blackmailer. It's, uh, it's no one you know. It's a businessman from Sacramento. A goddamn pansy, Ed. He tried to rope me into some crackpot scheme; I heard him out and then told him to go to hell. And the very next day, the very next day, Ed, I get blackmailed for the same amount.
-Would he... it sounds pretty obvious.
-Well, I guess he don't care that it's obvious.
-Mm. How, uh... how did he know that--
-...Oh, Jesus.
-...Why don't you just pay him, Dave?
-That's my capitalization on the Annex! *My* operation, Ed! Christ almighty. That's what I was just talking to Doris about, a way of getting the money from the store that we could hide from Ann.
-Mm.
-Please, Ed.
-But it's...
-Your place?
-I'm at Nirdlinger's. Let yourself in.
-...Dave?
-...It ruined me. This money. No annex. I'm all shot to hell.
-...What kind of man *are* you?
-...Huh?
-What kind of man *are* you?
-Big Dave--
-I'd understand if you'd walked in here. Socked me in the nose. Whatever. I deserved it.
-I, uh...
-Rye.
-Just coffee.
-...Doesn't become a matter of public record unless there's foul play. However. I don't believe I'm *prohibited* from telling you this. I guess I'm not obliged to tell you, either. I don't exactly know. But if *I* were the man, I'd want to be told.
-Told what?
-...Hell, I hope I've done the right thing.
-...My first instinct was, no, no, the whole idea was nuts. But maybe that was the instinct that kept me locked up in the barbershop, nose against the exit, afraid to try turning the knob. What if I could get the money?
-Honey?
-Where you going?
-Me? Us! The party at Nirdlinger's--I told you last week, for the Christmas Push.
-Come on, get ready. It's important.
-Nah, go ahead. I'm not big on parties.
-...What a knucklehead.
-Who?
-Dave.
-How's that?
-...Money problems. He's thinking about canceling the Annex.
-So?
-*That means I don't run Nirdlinger's!*
-...What's so damn strange about that?
-'Gratulations, Gina. It's so goddamn wonderful.
-Congratulations, Gina.
-Life is so goddamn wonderful, you almost won't believe it.
-Honey...
-Honey.
-I don't know what's going on. I--
-...I don't know what happened to Big Dave. I know some of it. Irregularities in my books, they said. Can I explain it.
-You don't have to--
-I helped him cook the books, Ed. I did do that.
-I know all about that. But I don't know how much to tell them.
-Should I... should I tell you why?
-...My books used to be perfect. Anyone could open them up, make sense of the whole goddamn store.
-Honey...
-...Doris--
-Look, I don't wanna waste your time so I'll eat while we talk. Ya mind? *You* don't mind. So while I'm in town I'll be staying at the Hotel Metropole, the Turandot Suite. Yeah, it's goofy, the suites're named after operas; room's OK though, I poked around. I'm having 'em hold it for me on account of I'll be back and forth. In addition
-No. Of course not. She didn't do it.
-Good! That helps. Not that she didn't do it, that she didn't confess. Of course, there's ways to deal with a confession, but that's good!--one less thing to think about. Now. Interview. I'm seeing her tomorrow. You should be there. Three o'clock. One more thing: you keep your mouth shut. I get the lay of the land, I tell *you* what to say. No
-...OK.
-I knew about it. Big Dave told me about it, and the spot he was putting himself in by getting the money.
-...You've gotta give me something to work with. Freddy Riedenschneider is good, but he's not a magician. He can't just wave his little wand in the air and make a plausible defense materialize. Look. Look at what the other side is gonna run at us. They got the company books, prepared by you--*cooked* by you--that's Motive. They got a murder scene *you* had access
-It was Big Dave's.
---don't interrupt me--that's Means. They got a fine upstanding pillar of the business community as a victim, and then they got *you*, a disgruntled number-juggling underling who on the day in question was drunk as a skunk and whose alibi for the time in question is being passed out at home, alone.
-OK, we forget the blackmail. *You* killed him. How come?
-OK, how did you know?
-Will anyone else say they knew?
-I don't know. I don't think so.
-How did you get into the store?
-I took Doris's keys.
-Will anyone say they saw you there? On your way there? In there? On your was back?
-...I don't think so.
-...I don't get it.
-Look, chum, this is a guy, from what I understand, told everybody he was a war hero, right? Island hopping, practically liberated the Pacific all by himself with a knife in one hand and a gun in the other and twenty yards of Jap guts between his teeth.
-Yeah.
-...Did Big Dave mention that it was something about his war service? I don't know, I wasn't there, *you'll* have to tell *us*. Maybe he specified, maybe he didn't; I'm not putting words in your mouth; the point is that this liar, this cynical manipulator, this man who through his lies sneered and belittled the sacrifice and heroism of all our boys who *did*
-So... who... who actually--
-Not guilty, your honor...
-...I gotta hand it to him, he tossed a lot of sand in their eyes. He talked about how I'd lost my place in the universe...
-...a puny player on the great world's stage...
-...how I was too ordinary to be the criminal mastermind the D.A. made me out to be, how there was some greater scheme at work that the state had yet to unravel, and he threw in some of the old truth stuff he hadn't had a chance to trot out for Doris...
-...who among us is in a position to say...
-...and inflame the passions of these twelve fine men and women...
-Thanks. Thanks for seeing me, at home.
-Oh, hell. Drink?
-No thanks.
-Sure you don't need one?
-I'm fine.
-OK. Boy. Jesus!
-Yeah. What do I, uh...
-'Scuse me, just finished dinner. Um. Frankly, Doris'd be better off with the county defender.
-He a good man?
-Bert's OK, sure, he's a good man. I won't kid you though, Ed, nobody around here has any experience with this kind of, er... And I hear they're bringing a prosecutor up from Sacramento. Capital offense. Taking it seriously... Hmm...
-So--
-Taking it seriously.
-Coffee, Ed?
-I'm fine. Thanks.
-...So, uh, who should I--
-...Probity.
-Uh-huh. Is he the best then, for, uh...
-Well, the best, the money-is-no-object best, for a criminal case, any lawyer would tell you Freddy Riedenschneider. Out of Sacramento. 'Course, I don't know how you're fixed for money.
-Uh-huh. He's the, uh...
-Ed, how're you holding up?
-I'm so damn sorry about your loss. Terrible thing. Just damn terrible.
-Yeah.
-Birdy's in the parlor--I'm on long distance here.
-...Huh?
-Haven't I seen you up in ladies' wear?
-I don't work here. My wife does.
-Uh-huh. Some beat, huh?
-Yeah.
-Check out the rack on that broad in the angora.
-...Did you make that up?
-That was quite something.
-He wrote some beautiful piano sonatas.
-That was something. I'm Ed Crane.
-...I'm Rachel Abundas. Everyone calls me Birdy.
-Says here that the Russians exploded n A-bomb and there's not a damn thing we can do about it.
-Uh-huh.
-...Ed?
-Huh?
-Russians exploded an A-bomb.
-Yeah.
-Jesus...
-...so you tie your own flies, Ed. I mean, if you're really serious. You tie your own flies, you do a--I know it's matickless, I know, people say, hey, you can buy flies at the store-- but you can buy your fish at the store, Ed, you see what I'm saying?
-Uh-huh.
-The point is there's a certain art to the process. The point is not merely to provide, and let me point out, these fish are not as dumb as you might think.
-Uh-huh.
-Sportsmanship! That's my point. June fly, Ed? Mosquito? Which of these? Well, what fish do you seek?
-Yeah.
-...You sure, Eddie?
-Frank.
-Huh?
-This hair.
-Yeah.
-...You ever wonder about it?
-Whuddya mean?
-I don't know... How it keeps on coming. It just keeps growing.
-Yeah--lucky for us, huh, pal?
-No, I mean it's growing, it's part of us. And we cut it off. And throw it away.
-...I'm gonna take his hair and throw it out in the dirt.
-What the--
-I'm gonna mingle it with common house dirt.
-...How you today, Ed?
-OK.
-You don't got a headache?
-...Nah.
-This is what family is for, Ed! This is when ya come together!
-Yeah.
-Close ranks! Goddamnit! Those sons of bitches!
-Frank, uh, you know I'll try to contribute, but, uh--Freddy Riedenschneider--
-I don't care what it costs! This is when ya come together!
-That's very generous.
-They're just people like you and me, Ed. Remember that.
-Uh-huh.
-Just people. They gotta put up the big front so that people will trust them with their money. This is why the big lobby, Ed. But they put their pants on one leg at a time. Just like you and me.
-Uh-huh.
-...We goin'?
-Huh?
-They sent us to tell ya. We pulled the detail.
-I don't understand.
-Birdy... I didn't mean to--
-What'd he say?
-'Lo, Ed.
-Mr...?
-Crane. Ed Crane.
-...You're Ed Crane?
-Yeah--
-Barber, right? I'm Freddy Riedenschneider. Hungry? They tell me the chow's OK here. I made some inquiries.
-...I'm Crane.
-My name is Diedrickson. County medical examiner.
-Hello!
-Doesn't bother me.
-OK, boys, which of you gets the privilege?
-We're just closing, friend.
-Oh, happy days! I wish I was doing well enough to turn away business! More power to ya, brother! The public be damned!
-Yes, sir.
-Could you come with me please?
-He's a barber.
-Ah.
-Second chair.
-Not an owner.
-No, he's family, he's my brother-in- law.
-...Look, pal, it's a tough break, but, uh... well damnit, your wife's been pinched.
-Yeah, uh, they brung her to the county jail, uh...
-Homicide.
-...Yeah, it's a tough break.
-Visiting ends at five. Too late today. You can see her tomorrow.
-Are you awake?... Is he awake?
-Crane? We have to tell you, as soon as you're conscious--is he conscious?
-His eyes are open.
-Uh... you're under arrest.
-As soon as the doctor lets us, we gotta move you. Does he understand that? We're supposed to tell him. Are you conscious?
-You'll go to the prison hospital.
-What'd he say? Does he understand?
-Uh, Vince. Sorry. This won't wait.
-It better be good.
-There are a couple of kids who were lost yesterday near the site of the murder. Claimed they saw a monster. They're pretty determined to tell you their story. You want to see them?
-Manual overrides aren't working. I'm getting nothing, Lieutenant.
-There's some kind of animal loose in the museum. Pendergast's alone. He needs help. I want volunteers to go with me.
-Beauregard! You scared me half to death.
-I'm sorry, sir. You okay?
-Someone broke into this room.
-Anything missin'?
-Looks like the curse is still at work.
-Don't know if it'll do any good, Mr. Cuthbert.
-Why not?
-We all love the museum. I come here myself with my kids. We're trying to work with you.
-I'm telling you, something's wrong. I still haven't heard from Pendergast. I think you should call it off.
-It's too late now. Guests are arriving. The Mayor's car is pulling up.
-I'll go down and speak to him.
-You haven't got the authority. Only Pendergast can pull the plug.
-Pendergast may be in trouble. Don't you understand? He still hasn't come back. It's been over three hours --
-Sweet Jesus!
-Get his gun and his walkie talkie, Jonathan. Move.
-My office is on the third floor! There's a walk-in safe and a portable phone! We can lock ourselves in the safe and call for help!
-I had no idea the Museum had a complete collection of Piranesi's Forum sketches.
-If you like them, they're for sale. Another day like yesterday and half the collection will be on the block.
-I've read about the Museum's financial troubles.
-If the party goes forward, and that's a big if... I've arranged for a large police presence.
-Do they have to wear uniforms?
-Yes.
-I don't want to scare people.
-I got it after I was mugged in the subway last spring.
-Where's the walk-in safe?
-Behind you.
-What's the combination?
-Forget it!
-Battery's dead. Shit.
-That thing won't come after us, right? It's going for bigger game. The group blundering around in the basement. Poor fools.
-Hurry up!
-For Chrissake, I'll do it. What's the combination?!
-To the left twice then five no... sorry... I think it's fifteen... it's been a while...
-Fifteen... what's next?
-This huge police presence tonight isn't necessary, Lieutenant. You'll just scare people off. I can handle the security behind scenes with this system. It's state of the art.
-The cops are non-negotiable, Ippolito. Why don't you just tell me how this space station works.
-It's fool proof, basically. I designed this whole thing myself. Every valuable object in the Museum carries a small electronic chip. If anything's moved so much as an inch, we get an alarm pinpointing the exact location of the attempted theft.
-That's great if you're stopping a burglar. Not our goal here. Are there motion detectors?
-In every exhibition room. The museum's divided into five cells. The reception and exhibit are in cell five. We could arm the motion detectors in cells one to four, then seal the perimeter with our fire doors.
-That would leave one exit for hundreds of people. You'd be violating every fire regulation on the books. We'll guard the perimeter with my men and engage the motion detectors in the other cells. One more question. I see a big hole. If this entire thing is run by computer, what happens if the power fails?
-The whole system is shutting down! We have to get out quickly before the fire doors fall!
-What doors?
-I told you! They seal off all the cells. They were designed to fall automatically in a system failure --
-Ippolito! Get back here!
-D'Agosta? Ippolito. Come in.
-Where the hell are you?
-I made it outside. I'll co-ordinate the rescue efforts from here. Help is on the way. Just sit tight.
-Who are you? The undertaker?
-Special Agent Pendergast. FBI.
-Vince D'Agosta. Am I out?
-The body?
-What's left of it.
-We need light in here, stat.
-Careful. That mess on the ground is brains.
-Whose footprints?
-An original Roger Tory Peterson of a Red-Breasted Merganser. Amazing. I have a copy of this in my office at home.
-Can't really focus on birds at the moment, Pendergast. I'm tryin' to keep my breakfast down.
-In this violent world, I believe the only way to stay sane is to take time to notice beautiful things.
-I drink. After hours of course. On duty, I smoke. Do you mind?
-Not at all. I enjoy the smell of a good cigar.
-Lieutenant --
-Call me Vince.
-Did you read about a boat that washed up outside of New Orleans about four months ago? Twelve bodies on board.
-Who didn't? Big news. Out of Brazil, wasn't it?
-Yes. That's my case. Now it's yours. All the corpses were badly mutilated in a very particular way. Decapitated. Brains extracted. Limbs torn to shreds. It looked like the work of a large animal, but there was no sign of an animal on board.
-So the method of death is the only connection?
-If you don't mind, this could be important.
-You're kidding.
-I've got to admit, that was a damn sight better than "the dog ate my homework".
-How do you explain the part about Beauregard?
-They heard the victim's name and wove him into their story. Nice touch.
-You think what we've got here is a monster as big as a house that smells... like hamburger?
-No. I think what we've got here is a psychotic killer wielding some kind of unusual weapon... who wants us to believe he's a monster.
-What happened to them?
-Saliva test? You mean, you think someone ate part of the brain?
-I don't like animals. Never have. Dog bit me when I was little. After that I gave up on pets. Animals are irrational. Give me a psychotic killer any day. If there's one thing that makes me queasy it's being part of a food chain. My first case as a rookie, two brothers climbed a fence at the zoo. It was late August. Over
-This isn't an animal, Vince. I've been on this case four months, remember? I've learned a few things.
-How big is the sub-basement?
-Apparently it's huge.
-I think I should come with you.
-Pendergast! Help! It's right behind us!
-Vince? There's no way we can get to you with the fire doors down. There's an entrance to the sub- basement in the hall off the north side exit.
-The sub-basement?
-I smell it. It's here.
-Go out the north exit! There's a hallway and a false wall by the Greek vases. Run!
-Nice to see you, Lieutenant.
-This place is a maze.
-Look. It's some kind of letter.
-Did you hear that? My God. He says that Mbwun is real!
-Pardon my French, but bull shit.
-Shouldn't a drug that powerful be destroyed?
-Lieutenant! It's me.
-What is it?
-Dr. Green has to see you!
-Got my hands full here.
-What happened?!
-It's still back there!
-How much ammo do we have to make a stand?
-All right. Kawakita, cover the rear.
-I believe in you a hundred percent, Vince, but that's the second time we've been at that intersection.
-What's that?
-What does it say?
-Dr. John Whittlesley.
-What's that doing here?
-Dear God. Where are we, Lieutenant?
-We've met. The Hacksaw Murders. '89.
-Oh yes! Who could forget. Afterwards you sent me that amazing case of Chateau Lafitte.
-I hope you liked it.
-What are we talking about here?
-Someone who makes the Hacksaw Murderer look like Mother Teresa.
-Curious. There's something missing.
-The thalamus and the hypothalamus, perhaps?
-Yes. Bit of a shock. But as Cuthbert so tactfully put it, the museum needs new blood. And since I've been here since the Mesozoic Era --
-I don't believe it.
-Now Margo, don't overreact. Cuthbert has to cut costs somehow. My leaving makes perfect sense. This isn't exactly early retirement. I've overstayed the party a bit.
-We can't do without you. You're one of the foremost authorities on primitive pharmacology. You're practically an institution around here.
-Please. Don't humiliate me further.
-Let me help. I can take care of everything.
-No, Margo. This is one problem you can't solve. You have to stay out of it. The fact is, I want to retire.
-How can you say that? You know it's not true.
-Yes it is. I'm tired and I'm no longer needed --
-My work on fossil intermediates would be crippled without you.
-With all due respect, dear, that's bull. You dance rings around me with your new technology. You've left me in the dust.
-Your work is highly relevant. What about your display on Primitive Pharmacology? Cuthbert told me himself he was going to feature it prominently in the Superstition Exhibit.
-Come on. I'll walk you back to the elevator.
-I'm not giving up.
-This isn't a death sentence. Greg has promised to teach me fly fishing. I'll garden. I'll write.
-You are this museum. It won't be the same without you.
-That Cuthbert. What a piece of work. Someone's dead and all he cares about is his Superstition Exhibit.
-I can't help thinking there's something that Pendergast overlooked. If the scratches were made by whatever killed Beauregard, it wants something that's in here.
-A blow dart. Seed pods. A plant press. Pretty unimpressive stuff.
-What is it?
-I'm not sure. As you know, the Kothoga lived outside civilization on the tepui for thousands of years. Species flourished in isolation when man and pollution rendered them extinct. This could be one of the last remaining samples of an unknown plant.
-Whatever it is, it must be common on the tepui. John used it as packing material.
-Margo, these aren't seed pods.
-What are they?
-Like the claw.
-Let's not jump to conclusions. This egg could belong to any number of reptiles, Dr. Frock.
-Come on, Margo. We're on the verge of something huge. Let's consider the possibility, just the three of us, alone in this room. What if John was right. I mean, what if? And he sent back an egg of his monster in the crates. When it got to the museum, it hatched.
-Look at this. An ambyloid reovirus protein. That explains why the computer's confused. The plant's infected with a virus.
-That's not so unusual. Many plants carry viruses. Like the burls on Maple trees.
-All right, assuming the program is accurate, this is a description of the animal with that claw. "Species unidentified. Genus: unidentified. Phylum unknown. Male, weight in excess of 240 kg. Brain capacity, 900 centimeters." That means it's highly intelligent. "Quadrupedal."
-"Nocturnal. External hair and bony plates. Locomotor speed 60-70 kilometers. Reduced optic chiasm"... poor eyesight. "External mucoid nasal glands,"... very keen scent... "Morphological characteristics: Highly robust. Aggressiveness: extreme."
-So the claw came from a huge creature with a preternatural sense of smell and poor eyesight that hunts at night.
-With the intelligence of a human being, the speed of a greyhound, and the strength of a grizzly bear.
-Margo, what you've just described is a killing machine.
-And it's hungry. It's been two days since it's eaten. There are five hundred people arriving right now. The animal hunts at night and it has a keen sense of smell! All those people in one enclosed space...
-What's going on?
-Some kind of power failure. Maybe it's the storm. Do you have a flashlight?
-Dr. Frock. Did you hear that?
-What's that?
-None of that matters now. The people upstairs need us. We have to help.
-We can't. We've managed to get inside the one place that's safe. I think we should sit tight and wait for reinforcements. If we go outside, we're risking more lives. You have to accept it, Margo, there's nothing we can do. The building must be swarming with police by now. It won't take long for them to get through the doors.
-I'm coming with you.
-Come back and get me.
-We will.
-Dr. Frock?
-Thank you for taking the time to help us with this, Dr. Frock.
-Happy to be useful. It's rare enough these days. According to security, Beauregard put the Whittlesley crates in storage area 1012.
-How many storage areas are there?
-Do you mean Dr. Whittlesley?
-Something tried to get into this room!
-And failed. These doors are solid steel.
-This means there must be an animal loose in the museum!
-It's from John. Those two arrows were his insignia. It's addressed to Louis Moriarty, a patron who financed his expeditions.
-Read it out loud.
-You said John Whittlesley made a study of your blueprints of the museum.
-Yes.
-Are there any hidden rooms or staircases? Places where someone could hide?
-Where is that?
-I don't know. It was walled over. No one's been down there in years.
-We think it may have something to do with the eggs we found in the crate.
-Margo, this is too dangerous. You always think you can solve everything. This time you don't have enough information. The animal might behave in unexpected ways. Leave her here with me. Don't put her in danger.
-What's that?
-Dr. Frock, I was wondering. What happened to the rest of Whittlesley's plants?
-You work here?
-Yes, I do.
-What do you do?
-I'm an Evolutionary Biologist. What do you do?
-Nothing. I'm in third grade. What's a revolutionary what ch'a ma' callit?
-Evolutionary Biologist. I study how life on earth evolved over millions of years.
-Way cool. Then you know where the dinosaurs are.
-This room sucks.
-She's never going to take us to see the dinosaurs. That lady said they were on the fourth floor.
-We're not supposed to go back there.
-I don't want to go this way.
-Quiet!
-What is it?
-We were just lost, okay? And we went down this curvy staircase. At the bottom was a big shadow.
-Big as a house.
-Not that big.
-And it snuffled the ground like a dog.
-It had a long tongue, teeth this big and yellow eyes.
-They were green eyes and they were slit like a lizard's.
-They were yellow!
-Hard to read in this light. The ink is so faded.
-The dogs have lost the scent, Mr. Pendergast. Maybe we should head back.
-They've got something.
-Shut them up!
-Stop!
-Argo! Hobbes!
-There's something out there! Let's go get it now! That's why we came down here, isn't it?
-Look. It's Hobbes! He's all right.
-Come on. Let's get back to the others. We can't leave them alone.
-It's alright. I can tell by the way the dog's acting that whatever was out there is gone. What is this place?
-Oh... my... God!
-Jesus, what is this?
-Oh no. I smell it.
-If I spent half the time on my Fractal Evolution thesis that I spend on this fly rod, I'd have my PhD.
-I have the species identification on these teeth. We can extract DNA and start running tests on the extrapolator program. Call Dr. Frock. He wanted a demonstration.
-Margo, you haven't heard?
-What?
-That's impossible.
-For once I'm glad you're rumor central. What in the world is going on?
-Mbwun.
-What do you make of it, Margo?
-Turkish Gecko, I believe. A lizard.
-Lizard DNA and human DNA on the same strand? Impossible. The sample must be contaminated.
-What kind of egg is it?
-These plant fibers are loaded with hormones!
-4-monoxytocin is... "A hormone secreted by the human hypothalamus gland."
-This is it. This is what he, or it... is after! The plant has high concentrations of the same hormones found in minute quantities in the human brain!
-So what?
-Pendergast told me the killer extracts and eats the hypothalamus and thalamus of the victim's brains!
-Eats them?
-Is Dr. Frock safe!
-Got to finish this thesis sometime.
-How about lunch?
-Not today. Besides, I think the director of the museum is expecting you.
-Special Agent Pendergast. FBI. Forgive me. I guess I was snooping. What is this?
-An invention of mine. It's a computer program designed to describe the characteristics of a given species from a reading of its DNA. I call it the Genetic Sequence Extrapolator.
-How does it work?
-With a DNA analysis from a fossil you can use this program to tell the species and sex of the animal, whether it was nocturnal, what it ate, how it hunted, how big it was... You aren't here for a lesson in DNA.
-Somehow, when all this happened... I knew it would come back to John. Is he really dead?
-Maybe not.
-If he were alive he'd have contacted me.
-Dr. Whittlesley was last seen in Belem, Venezuela a week after the rest of his expedition disappeared. A taxi driver drove him to the harbor where he boarded a cargo boat. That boat washed up in my district. Everyone on board was killed.
-And John?
-Disappeared. His body wasn't among the victims.
-I don't understand.
-John couldn't have anything to do with a horrible thing like that. He was a fine man despite his problems --
-You loved him.
-Yes. Once. We met at Columbia. John held the Cadwalader Chair in Statistical Paleontology when I was a grad student there.
-You were going to be married.
-How did you know that?
-I ran an internet search on Dr. Whittlesley. Got a list of his scholarly articles and the engagement announcement in the Times. I also found a record of your restraining order.
-That was two years ago. John was still in love with me. He wouldn't leave me alone.
-You were afraid of him, weren't you?
-He was afraid of himself. He tried suicide once. He was ill. Manic depressive. He had wild emotional highs and lows. Not a happy affliction for a scientist. He'd been revered in our community. By the end he was a joke.
-Tell me about the last expedition. What was he looking for?
-A legendary monster called Mbwun.
-A monster?
-Yes. He developed his own theory that he called the Calisto Effect. It held that evolution wasn't always gradual or driven by natural selection. The environment would sometimes cause sudden and grotesque changes which could result in a "monster species". It made no sense. But he felt he had evidence that Mbwun was such a monster, living in isolation on the tepui for thousands
-What happened?
-No. I'm all right. I won't let this affect me anymore. John wouldn't get help. His ego endangered the lives of others. His theory came first.
-What if Whittlesley arrived on the tepui and no monster was there? Was he desperate enough to create one?
-I don't understand.
-Something came up in autopsy tonight. Imbedded in Beauregard's body we found a claw.
-My God. Then it was an animal.
-I don't think so. I think we were meant to think it was Mbwun. Did Whittlesley's monster have claws?
-I don't know. He sent back a statue that's supposed to be an exact representation. But I've never seen it. It's in the exhibit.
-Where would we find it?
-I'm not sure. We should split up. You take that hall and I'll take this one.
-What happened?
-I don't know.
-I heard you calling and I ran after you, but you kept disappearing and I couldn't keep up.
-It's okay, I'm all right. I remember now... It was an animal. Something large! I could smell it. It was hunting me. I saw two green eyes in the dark.
-Where did you see it?
-That's not what I saw.
-Dr. Green...
-I didn't imagine it. I know what I saw. Are you sure there are enough men in there?
-They're all heavily armed.
-All right. This is hard for me. I'm a scientist. I like order and logic. Sometimes too much. There's got to be an explanation. There can't be an animal in there. But I saw something.
-What was it?
-Genetic damage?
-When DNA is defective, it often uncontrollably replicates long repeating sequences of the same base pair. Viruses can damage DNA. So can radiation, certain chemicals. Even cancer. Let's let the G.S.E. sort it out. I have to get started. This will take several hours.
-Pendergast? Are you all right?
-You're not. Where is it?
-Gone.
-Wounded?
-No. A chromium alloy tipped .45 caliber bullet bounced off that thing's skull like a spit ball. I think it was bothered by my light.
-I don't know how to deal with this. It's hellish. Like nothing I ever saw. I'm not trained to deal with a monster, a supernatural creature like that.
-It's not supernatural. Mbwun is an animal. Part lizard, part human, a genetic freak of some kind, like the half-goat, half-sheep they found last year in the jungles of Vietnam.
-But what can we do? Our guns are useless --
-You'd slow us down and put Margo in danger.
-That was D'Agosta.
-The planetarium!
-Is there another way around?
-Hide quickly!
-What is it doing?
-What happened?
-Its eyesight is worse than I thought. It couldn't see us. And it couldn't smell us through the glass.
-It didn't want the fibers. What does that mean?
-I think... it means it's full.
-Then it won't go after the others?
-No. It's still hunting, but not for the hormones.
-For what?
-We have to try and draw it off!
-How?
-That's a ptarmigan, feigning a broken wing. The bird pretends to be injured to draw the fox away from its nest!
-Help someone!
-You smell that?
-We're not going to make the storage room!
-No! Don't kill him! Pendergast, you were right. It's John!
-What?
-I don't believe it.
-You have to! Listen! All viruses pass on their own DNA. Instruct the cells of the host to make more viruses! This one was different. It inserted a whole array of genes into John. Reptile genes, sixty five million years old. Those genes remade him! It's not his fault!
-Just like John. He won't listen.
-I have to shoot.
-He has to look here or I won't get a clear shot. Call him, Margo.
-I can't!
-I'm so glad to see you. What's the occasion?
-I'm sorry to keep you. How can I help?
-I want to book a flight to Fiji.
-Where exactly?
-<i>Fiji.</i>
-<i>Where</i> in Fiji? What island?
-I'm sorry, er...the biggest one.
-Viti Levu. For how many?
-One.
-When do you want to leave, remembering, of course, you do lose a day on the way there?
-Today.
-I'm sorry. I don't have anything for at least a month.
-<i>A month.</i>
-It's the busy season.
-You are a travel agent, aren't you? "Doris"? Your job is to help people travel.
-I do have a fabulous rate on a cruise ship departing for Fiji tomorrow. But you wouldn't want to do that.
-Why wouldn't I?
-I thought you were in a hurry.
-That's right.
-You want to book the flight?
-Close up?
-Why is he in the basement?
-He moved down there after Meryl packed up and left.
-Why wasn't I told? Any unpredictable behavior has to be reported. Is that the best shot we can get?
-What's to see?
-What happened down there?
-Give me a shot from Truman's ring.
-We've declared a curfew. Everyone else is at first positions.
-All prop cars accounted for?
-I'm sure we'll get him on this next sweep.
-What have we missed?
-We're not watching the sea.
-Why would we--
-Cue music...
-What music?
-He doesn't care.
-Welcome.
-Thank you.
-The catalyst for the recent dramatic events was of course Truman's father, Kirk, and his infiltration onto the show. Before we discuss that, it's worth reminding viewers that this isn't the first time someone from the outside world has tried to reach Truman.
-Of course, there hasn't been anything to compare with this - the first time an intruder has been a former cast member--
---a dead one at that.
---and certainly the first time that an intruder has been rewarded with a starring role. I really must congratulate you on writing Kirk back in. A master stroke.
-Since Kirk started this whole crisis in Truman's life, I came to the conclusion that he was the only one who could end it.
-I understand he's hardly had a life of his own since he left the show. How did you convince him--was it the opportunity to be close to Truman again?
-That and a fat, new contract.
-How <i>do</i> you intend to explain his twenty- two year absence?
-Amnesia.
-Let's talk ratings. "Truman" has always enjoyed top ten status but the huge surge over the last few days--how do you hope to sustain that audience now that Truman appears to have reconciled himself?
-As you know ratings have never been our primary goal. I imagine we'll lose those voyeurs only interested in witnessing Truman's latest torment. However, I'm certain that our core audience will remain loyal.
-But recent events have been so dramatic, it does raise the perennial question. What keeps us watching this one man twenty-four hours a day - eating, sleeping, working, sitting for hours in contemplation?
-We've become tired of watching actors give us phony emotions, bored with pyrotechnics and special effects. While the world he inhabits is counterfeit, there's nothing fake about Truman himself. No scripts, no cue cards. It's not always Shakespeare but it's genuine. That's how he can support an entire channel.
-A window onto the human condition?
-Not only does he give us a glimpse of the truth, he gives us a glimpse of ourselves.
-But how do you account for the popularity of those eight hours a day when Truman sleeps?
-We find many viewers leave him on all night for comfort. Haven't you ever watched your child or your lover sleep?
-Are we talking Emmies?
-Certainly a nomination.
-Of course, Truman has always been very much in on casting.
-As with our own lives, the only people he can't cast are his family. Otherwise he has final approval, able to elevate an extra into a lead role as was the case with his only real friend, Marlon, or alternatively relegate a star to a bit player.
-We should remind viewers that Truman, especially as a child, presented a challenge for the production.
-He was curious from birth - premature by two weeks, as if he couldn't wait to get started.
-Of course, his eagerness to leave his mother's womb also meant he was the one selected.
-In competition with five other unwanted pregnancies - the casting of a show determined by an air date - he was the one who arrived on cue.
-Who knew that a show originally meant to last one year - "Bringing Up Baby" - would turn into a "cradle to grave" concept. He is in fact the first child in the world to be legally adopted by a corporation.
-That's correct.
-And the show now generates a yearly income equivalent to the gross national product of a small country.
-People forget it takes the <i>population</i> of an entire country to keep the show running.
-No, of course not. And since the show runs 24 hours a day with no commercial breaks the staggering profits are all generated from product placement.
-Yes, everything you see on the show is for sale - from the actors' wardrobe, food products, to the very homes they live in--
-All products carefully chosen and tested by you for quality and aesthetic value.
-There's nothing on the show I don't use myself.
-Why do you feel that Truman's never come close to discovering the true nature of his world?
-You've never actually met Truman, yourself. Never thought about doing a cameo--playing a veterinarian, or a priest, something like that?
-I've been tempted. But I think it's important to retain objectivity. I wouldn't want to get emotionally caught up.
-We've learnt about life as Truman has and, despite the complaints of a minority, it's been an overwhelmingly positive experience, for Truman and for the viewing public.
-Who are you?
-The creator of what?
-A show - that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions.
-<i>A show.</i> Then who am I?
-Nothing was real.
-I have a map.
-Truman, I've watched you your whole life. I saw you take your first step, your first word, your first kiss. I know you better than you know yourself. You're not going to walk out that door--
-What's he doing?
-They removed all physical trace of her but they couldn't erase the memory.
-The memory of who?
-But why didn't he just follow her to Fiji?
-Because his mother got sick - very sick. He couldn't leave her. He's a kind boy, maybe too kind.
-How can they have a child?
-It's not gonna be his, you idiot.
-Why not?
-You think she'd go through with it?
-Sure she would.
-You take Japanese.
-Oh, yes.
-Lauren, right?
-That's right. Lauren.
-I'm Truman, Truman Burbank--
-It's okay. I probably wouldn't talk to me either.
-I'm sorry. It's not up to me.
-No...I, er.
-No? Really? Good, I mean, I thought possibly a pizza. How about Friday?
-No.
-Actually, I'm free Sunday.
-Now.
-Right now? We've got finals tomorrow.
-Well, what do you want to do?
-It's beautiful! What are you waiting for?
-I'm thinking of getting out, Marlon.
-Yeah? Outta what?
-See here, this is us. All the way round here, Fiji. You can't get any further away before you start coming back. Y'know, there are still islands in Fiji where no human has ever set foot.
-So when are you leaving?
-It's not that simple. Takes money, planning. You can't just up and go. Oh, I'm going to do it, don't worry about that. I've just got to move slow. Pick my moment. Bonus time's just around the corner. Soon as I finish the...
-Nursery?
-Truman, you know, I did think about moving away one time.
-Yeah, what happened?
-I figured, what's the point? I knew I'd just be taking my problems with me. Once the kids came along, it made me look at Seahaven with new eyes. I realized, what the hell could be better than this? I'm telling you. What you really need is someone to carry on the "Burbank" name.
-You think so?
-You really think it could've dropped off an airliner?
-Sure. It's halogen. Shame it didn't hit you - you could've sued. You coming for a drink?
-Marlon--
-I've got to talk to you.
-Sorry, I'm way behind.
-I'm onto something, Marlon - something big.
-Are you okay? You look like shit.
-I think I'm mixed up in something.
-<i>Mixed up?</i> Mixed up in what?
-There's no point in trying to explain it, but a lot of strange things have been happening - elevators that don't go anywhere, people talking about me on the radio, you know what I mean?
-No. Truman, if this is another one of your fantasies...
-I think it's got something to do with my dad.
-Your Dad?!
-I think he's alive. I'll tell you about it later. I'm definitely being followed.
-Who?
-It's hard to tell. They look just like regular people.
-How about them?
-Could be. Beard looks phony. It's when I'm unpredictable. They can't stand that. That's why we've got to get out of here. Can you come with me?
-I told you I can't.
-What're we doing here, Truman?
-This is where it started.
-What exactly?
-Things. Things that doesn't fit. Maybe I'm being set up for something. You ever feel like that, Marlon? Like your whole life has been building to something?
-No.
-When you were hauling chickens for Kaiser Poultry, what was the furthest you ever went off the island?
-I went all over but I never found a place like this. Look at that sunset, Truman. It's perfect.
-Yeah...
-That's the "Big Guy". Quite a paintbrush he's got.
-Just between you and me, Marlon, I'm going away for a while.
-Stay where you are!
-I don't know what to think, Marlon. Maybe I'm going out of my mind, but I get the feeling that the world revolves around me somehow.
-It's a lot of world for one man. You sure that's not wishful thinking, you wishing you'd made something more of yourself? Christ, Truman, who hasn't sat on the John and had an imaginary interview on "Seahaven Tonight"? Who hasn't wanted to be somebody?
-And the last thing I'd ever do is lie to you. Think about it, Truman, if everybody's in on it, I'd have to be in on it too. I'm not in on it, because there is no <i>it.</i>
-So what are you saying, Marlon, the whole thing has been in my head--?
-Not the whole thing, Truman. You were right about one thing.
-What's that?
-...personally I think the unconquered south face is the only one worth scaling...of course it's a 20,000 foot sheer wall of ice but then when did that ever stop me before?...Naturally, I intend to make the ascent without the benefit of oxygen but also without crampons or even an ice pick...<i>risks?</i>... ...sure I'm aware of the risks--why else do you think I would spend
-What's that?
-Well, what do you think?
-Hi, honey. Look at this. It's a "Chef's-Mate." Dicer, slicer and peeler in one. Never needs sharpening. Dishwasher safe.
-How did it go today?
-I was hoping we could have a special evening.
-I won't be late.
-Where have you been?
-I've been thinking--
-Oh, God.
---I figure we could scrape together eight thousand.
-Every time you and Marlon--
---We could bum around the world for a year on that.
-And then what, Truman? We'd be back to where we were five years ago. You're talking like a teenager.
-Maybe I feel like a teenager.
-It'd be an adventure.
-I thought we were going to try for a baby. Isn't that enough of an adventure?
-This'll pass. Everybody thinks like this now and then. Come to bed.
-What're you doing down here?
-Fixing the mower. I saw my father today.
-I know.
-How do you know?
-What did you want?
-I made macaroni.
-Come on, Truman. Haven't you studied enough?
-I'll take you home, Angela. Why don't you leave those with us for a while?
-Good night, Mother.
-I have to talk with you. But not here. Let's go for a walk.
-I'm sorry, I'm late.
-What's the hurry?
-Arrah!
-Oh, my God!
-What do I do?
-I don't know--
---you're a nurse, aren't you?
-I invited Marlon and Rita for a barbeque Sunday. I thought I'd make my potato salad. Remind me--
-I won't be here Sunday.
---we need more charcoal.
-Are you listening to a word I'm saying?
-Let's go now.
-Where shall we go? Where shall we go? Spontaneity is what it's all about. Forget Fiji. We can't very well drive to Fiji, can we? What about Atlantic City?
-You hate gambling.
-That's right. I do, don't I?
-So why do you want to go?
-Because I never have. That's why you go places, isn't it?
-Blocked at every turn. Beautifully synchronized, don't you agree?
-You blaming me for the traffic?
-Truman, that was our house!
-I've changed my mind again. What's New Orleans like this time of year? Mardi Gras. Or let's just see where the road takes us.
-Let me out, Truman. You're not right in the head. You want to destroy yourself, you do it on your own!
-It's hard to go places, isn't it?
-There's been an accident, Truman.
-Truman, I took the "hypocrite" oath!
-Truman, what about that sign?
-So what do we do for money when we get to New Orleans?
-I've got my Seahaven Bankcard.
-Let me get you some help, Truman. You're not well.
-Why do you want to have a child with me? You can't stand me.
-Why don't I make you some of this new Mococoa Drink? All natural. Cocoa beans from the upper slopes of Mount Nicaragua. No artificial sweeteners--
---What the hell are you talking about?!
-What the hell has that got to do with anything? Tell me what's happening?!
-You're having a nervous breakdown, that's what's happening.
-Stop this now. I'll do it. I swear.
-Who were you talking to?!
-You're the one talking to the walls!
-No. You said, "Do something." Who were you talking to? Tell me!
---What are my plans now? Well, next I'm thinking of tackling the Yuba River in an authentic canoe from the Algonquin tribe. --I'm talking about the north fork, a class five rapid - only I'm not going <i>down</i> the Yuba, I'm going <i>up.</i> Do you honestly think for one minute I'd go back to some dreary office to rubber stamp meaningless documents...do you?
-How are you, Mother?
-Well, I made it through another night.
-How's your hip?
-You know surprises aren't good for me. You should really call before you come over, dear.
-You look very pale, Truman. Are you taking your vitamin D's?
-I spend half my life out in the sun, Mother, why would I need vitamin D?
-It doesn't sound insane, Truman. I swear I see him ten times a week--in a hundred faces. I almost hugged a perfect stranger in the salon last Thursday.
-It was Dad, I swear, dressed like a homeless man. And you know what else was really strange? A businessman and a woman with a little dog appeared from nowhere and forced him onto a bus.
-About time they started cleaning up the trash Downtown. We don't want to end up like the rest of the country.
-They never found Dad's body--maybe somehow--
---Darling--
-I'm telling you, if it wasn't him, it was his twin. Did Dad have a brother?
-We ought to be getting you back, Mother.
-Hold on a minute, dear. Here's us at Mount Rushmore. You remember, Truman--when Dad was still with us - that was quite a drive. You slept all the way there.
-It looks so small.
-I'm looking for my wife--Nurse Burbank. It's important.
-I'm afraid that's impossible--she's in pre-op.
-Sure. Okay. Fine. Can you pass on a message?
-I'll try.
-Tell her, tell her...I had to go to Fiji. I'll call her when I get there.
-When you get to Fiji?
-You got it.
-Now what?
-Leak at the plant. They had to shut her down.
-Is there any way around?
-The whole area's being evacuated.
-Well, thank you for your help.
-They're coming. Any minute.
-Who?
-They're going to stop me talking to you.
-There's no one here.
-Just listen. You remember when you were a little boy, you stood up in class and said you wanted to be an explorer like Magellan--
---How do you know about that?
---And your teacher said, "You're too late, Truman. There's nothing left to explore."
-Were you there--how do you know?
---It doesn't matter. Everybody knows about it. They know everything you do. The point is, you got scared.
-I don't understand.
-How's it going, Truman?
-Not bad. I just won the State Lottery.
-Good. Good.
-Tyrone, what if I said I didn't want meatball today?
-See you tomorrow, Truman.
-Do you live around here?
-Not supposed to talk about it.
-I think you better tell us.
-We don't even know you.
-Well, we're FBI agents.
-Poopy day?
-Yup.
-What do you do?
-I think that about does it, Spooky.
-Does what?
-Why don't you go home to the old lady --
-What am I doing here?
-You were shot in the head. The bullet broke the flesh on your right brow and glanced off your temporal plate.
-They gave you a craniotomy to relieve the pressure from a subdural hematoma. But you've been unconscious since they brought you in.
-Scully had a violent reaction to a bee sting --
-You called 911. Except the call was intercepted.
-I need your clothes, Byers.
-Special Agent Scully --
-I apologize for making you wait -- I've brought some new evidence with me --
-You've been back to Dallas?
-Yes.
-Are you going to let us in on what exactly you're trying to prove --
-That the bombing in Dallas may have been to destroy the bodies of those firemen, so their deaths and the reason for them wouldn't have to be explained --
--- those are very serious allegations, Agent Scully --
-And you have conclusive evidence of this? Something to tie this claim of yours to the crime --
-I hope to. We're working to develop this evidence --
-Working with?
-What is it you find incredible?
-Well...where would you like me to start? Antarctica is a long way from Dallas, Agent Scully. I can't very well submit a report to the Attorney General that alleges the links you've made here. Bees and corn crops do not quite fall under the rubric of domestic terrorism.
-No, they don't.
-You've got something to show me.
-We brought the atmosphere back down to freezing in order to control the development, which is nothing like we've ever seen.
-Brought on by what?
-This man's still alive.
-How can this be?
-Do you want me to destroy this one, too? Before it gestates?
-No. No...we need to try our vaccine on it.
-And if it's unsuccessful?
-Incinerate it. Like the others.
-This man's family will want to see the body laid to rest.
-Tell them he was trying to save the young boy's life, and that he died heroically like the other firemen.
-Of what?
-Yes.
-We have a situation. The members are assembling.
-Who called this meeting?
-Its effect on the host has changed. The virus no longer just invades the brain as a controlling organism. It's developed a way to modify the host body.
-My lateness may have well been absence. A course has already been taken.
-Do they know?
-Mulder was in Dallas when we were trying to dispose of evidence. He's gone back there again. Someone has tipped him.
-Who?
-Is this Dr. Kurtzweil's residence?
-You got some kind of business with him?
-I'm looking for him.
-Feds are looking for him, too. Real nice business he's got, huh?
-What's that?
-You looking for him for some other reason?
-You want a call if we turn up Kurtzweil?
-I'm looking for anything out of the ordinary. Maybe something from the FEMA offices where the bodies were found.
-We weren't expecting to find those remains, of course. They went right off to Washington.
-Was there anything in those offices that didn't go to D.C.?
-Some bone fragments came up in the sift this morning. We thought there'd been another fatality, but we found out FEMA had recovered them from an archeological site out of town.
-Have you examined them?
-You said you knew the location of the archeological site where these were found.
-How's that?
-Do I know you?
-You follow me out here for a reason?
-My name's Kurtzweil. Dr. Alvin Kurtzweil.
-I know the name. Why?
-How'd you find me?
-Heard you come here now and again. Figured you'd be needing a little drinky tonight.
-You a reporter?
-I'm a doctor, but I think I mentioned that. OB-GYN.
-Who sent you?
-I came on my own. After reading about the bombing in Dallas.
-And what's that?
-S.A.C. Darius Michaud never tried or intended to defuse the bomb.
-He just let it explode.
-What's the question nobody's asking? Why that building? Why not the Federal Building?
-The Federal Building was too well guarded.
-Those people were already dead.
-Before the bomb went off?
-Michaud was a twenty-two year veteran of the bureau --
-Michaud was a patriot. The men he's loyal to know their way around Dallas. They blew that building to hide something. Maybe something even they couldn't predict.
-You're saying they destroyed an entire building to hide the bodies of three firemen...?
-I think you're full of shit.
-See this bullshit...? Somebody knows I'm talking to you.
-Not according to the men in blue.
-What is it? Kiddie porn again? Sexual battery of a patient? I've had my license taken away in three states.
-They want to discredit you -- for what?
-For what? Because I'm a dangerous man. Because I know too much about the truth.
-You mean that apocalyptic trash you write? I knew your name was familiar. I just didn't know why.
-You know my work?
-Dr. Kurtzweil, I'm not interested in bigoted ideas about race or genocide. I don't believe in the Elders of Zion, the Knights Templar, the Bilderburg Group or in a oneworld Jew run government --
-I was right about Dallas. Wasn't I, Agent Mulder?
-How?
-I picked up the historical document of the venality and hypocrisy of the American government. The daily newspaper.
-You said the firemen and the boy were found in the temporary offices of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Why?
-According to the newspaper, FEMA had been called out to manage an outbreak of the Hanta virus. Are you familiar with the Hanta virus, Agent Mulder?
-It was a deadly virus spread by field mice in the Southwest U.S. several years ago.
-And are you familiar with FEMA? What the Federal Emergency Management Agency's real power is? FEMA allows the White House to suspend constitutional government upon declaration of a national emergency. To create a non-elected government. Think about that. What is an agency with such broad sweeping power doing managing a small viral outbreak in suburban Texas?
-What was it?
-When we were young men in the military, your father and I were recruited for a project. They told us it was biological warfare. A virus. There were rumors about its origins.
-What killed those men?
-What killed them I won't even write about. I tell you, they'd do more than just harass me. They have the future to protect.
-I'll know soon enough.
-What killed those men can't be identified in simple medical terms. My god, we can't even wrap our minds around something as obvious as HIV. We have no context for what killed those men, or any appreciation of the scale in which it will be unleashed in the future. Of how it will be transmitted; of the environmental factors involved.
-A plague?
-The plague to end all plagues, Agent Mulder. A silent weapon for a quiet war. The systematic release of an indiscriminate organism for which the men who will bring it on still have no cure. They've been working on this for fifty years. While the rest of the world was fighting gooks and commies these men have been secretly negotiating a planned Armageddon.
-Negotiating with whom?
-I think you know. The timetable has been set. It will happen on a holiday, when people are away from their homes. When our elected officials are at their resorts or out of the country. The President will declare a state of emergency, at which time all federal agencies, all government will come under the power of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. FEMA, Agent
-And they tell me I'm paranoid.
-How can I reach you?
-You found something?
-Yes. On the Texas border. Some kind of experiment. Something they excavated was brought there in tanker trucks.
-What?
-I'm not sure. A virus --
--- You saw this experiment?
-What do you think?
-A transportation system. Transgenic crops. The pollen genetically altered to carry a virus.
-That would be my guess.
-You told me you had answers.
-Yeah, well I don't have them all.
-You've been using me --
-I've been using you?!
-You didn't know my father --
-I told you -- he and I were old friends --
-You'd be shit out of luck if not for me. You saw what you saw because I led you to it. I'm putting my ass on the line for you.
-Your ass? I just got chased across Texas by two black helicopters.
-Mulder -- it's me --
-Where are you, Scully?
-I'm on the roof.
-Did you find something?
-No. I haven't.
-What's wrong, Scully?
-I've just climbed twelve floors. I'm hot and thirsty and I'm wondering, to be honest, what I'm doing here.
-You're looking for a bomb.
-I know that. But the threat was called in for the Federal Building across the street.
-I think they have that covered.
-Mulder...?
-Jesus, Mulder...
-I know you're bored in this assignment, but unconventional thinking is only going to get you into trouble now.
-How's that?
-You've got to quit looking for what isn't there. They've closed the X-Files. There's procedure to be followed here. Protocol.
-Now what?
-Had you.
-No you didn't.
-I saw your face, Mulder. There was a moment of panic.
-Panic? Have you ever seen me panic, Scully?
-Alright... what'll it be: Coke, Pepsi? A saline IV?
-Scully...
-Scully, I found the bomb.
-Where are you, Mulder?
-Scully, get somebody to open this door.
-Mulder? Tell me this is a joke.
-...thirteen fifty six...
-Scully?
-Something's not right...
-Whatever you told them in there, you don't have to protect me.
-All I told them was the truth.
-They're trying to divide us on this, Scully. We can't let them.
-They have divided us, Mulder. They're splitting us up.
-What? What are you talking about?
-I meet with the OPR day after tomorrow for remediation and reassignment...
-Why?
-I think you must have an idea. They cited a history of problems relating back to 1993.
-They were the ones that put us together.
-Because they wanted me to invalidate your work, your investigations into the paranormal. But I think this goes deeper than that.
-This isn't about you, Scully. They're doing this to me.
-They're not doing this, Mulder. I left behind a career in medicine because I thought I might make a difference at the FBI. When they recruited me they told me women made up nine percent of the bureau. I felt this was not an impediment, but an opportunity to distinguish myself. But it hasn't turned out that way. And now, if I were to
-You're... quitting?
-I wake you?
-No.
-Are you drunk, Mulder?
-I was until about an hour ago.
-What are you implying, Scully?
-I thought you may have gotten drunk and decided to come here to talk me out of quitting.
-Go home, Mulder. It's late.
-Get dressed, Scully.
-Mulder -- what are you doing?
-This is one of the firemen who died in Dallas?
-According to this tag.
-It's like jelly.
-And there's been no autopsy performed. There's no Y incision here; no internal exam.
-You're telling me the cause of death on the report is false. That this man didn't die from an explosion, or from flying debris.
-You knew this man didn't die at the bomb site before we got here.
-I'd been told as much.
-You're saying the bombing was a cover-up. Of what?
-I don't know. But I have a hunch what you're going to find here isn't anything that can be categorized or easily referenced.
-Mulder, this is going to take some time, and somebody's going to figure out soon enough we're not even supposed to be here. I'm in serious violation of medical ethics.
-Why are you whispering?
-I can't really talk right now.
-What did you find?
-Evidence of a massive infection.
-What kind of infection?
-I don't know.
-Scully -- listen to me. I'm going home, then I'm booking a flight to Dallas. I'm getting you a ticket, too.
-Mulder --
-I need you there with me. I need your expertise on this. The bomb we found was meant to destroy those bodies and whatever they were infected by.
-I've got a hearing tomorrow --
--- I'll have you back for it, Scully. Maybe with evidence that could blow that meeting away.
-You said you weren't coming?
-I wasn't planning on it. Particularly after spending a half hour in cold storage this morning. But I got a better look at the blood and tissue samples I took from the firemen.
-What did you find?
-Something I couldn't show to anyone else. Not without more information. And not without causing the kind of attention I'd just as soon avoid right now. The virus those men were infected with contains a protein coat I've never seen before. What it did to them it did extremely fast. And unlike the AIDS virus or any other aggressive strain, it survives very nicely
-How was it contracted?
-He didn't mention a park.
-This is where he marked on the map, Scully. Where he says those fossils were unearthed.
-You're sure the fossils you looked at showed the same signs of deterioration you saw in the fireman's body in the morgue?
-The bone was porous, as if the virus of the causative microbe were digesting it.
-And you've never seen anything like that?
-This looks like new grass to you?
-Ground's dry about an inch down. Somebody just laid this down. Very recently, I'd say.
-All the equipment is brand new.
-Unmarked tanker trucks... what are archaeologists hauling out in tanker trucks?
-I don't know, Mulder.
-And where are they going with it?
-What are my choices?
-About a hundred miles of nothing in each direction.
-Where would they be going?
-You think they went left?
-Hey, I was right about the bomb, wasn't I?
-What?
-I've got to be in Washington D.C. in eleven hours for a hearing -- the outcome of which might possibly affect one of the biggest decisions of my life. And here I am standing out in the middle of nowhere Texas, chasing phantom tanker trucks.
-We're not chasing trucks, we're chasing evidence --
--- of what exactly?!
-That bomb in Dallas was allowed to go off, to hide something: bodies infected with a virus you detected yourself.
-They haul gas in tanker trucks, they haul oil in tanker trucks -- they don't haul viruses in tanker trucks.
-Yeah, well they may this one.
-What do you mean by haul? What are you not telling me here?
-This virus -- it...
-Mulder --
-It may be extraterrestrial.
-I don't believe this. I don't fucking believe this. Y'know, I've been here... I've been here one too many times with you, Mulder.
-Been where?
-What do you think it is?
-This is weird, Mulder.
-Very weird.
-Any thoughts on why anybody'd be growing corn in the middle of the desert?
-Cool in here. Temperature's being regulated.
-You hear that?
-I hear the humming. Like electricity. High voltage maybe.
-Scully....?
-Yeah...?
-What are you doing?
-Where'd they go?
-What? What's wrong?
-I already gave Skinner my letter of resignation.
-You can't quit, Scully.
-I can, Mulder. I debated whether or not to even tell you in person, because I knew --
-We're close to something here -- we're on the verge --
-You're on the verge, Mulder -- please don't do this to me --
-After what you saw last night -- after all you've seen -- you can't just walk away --
-I have. I did. It's done.
-Just like that --
-I'm contacting the state board Monday to file medical reinstatement papers --
-I need you on this, Scully --
-Why was I assigned to you? To debunk your work. To reign you in. To shut you down.
-What? What happened?
-Scully...
-...my pulse feels thready and I've got a funny taste in the back of my throat.
-I think you're in anaphylactic shock --
-Scully --
-Cold...
-We've got to keep moving.
-Where are we?
-I can't go any farther.
-We're going to the morgue.
-That area is currently off limits to anyone other than authorized medical personnel.
-On whose orders?
-General McAddie is who requested our coming here. We were awakened at three AM and told to get down here immediately.
-I don't know anything about that.
-Well, call General McAddie.
-I don't have his number.
-Why don't you go on ahead head and I'll confirm authorization.
-Sit down, they're still talking to Agent Scully.
-About what?
--- They're asking her for a narrative. They want to know why she was in the wrong building.
-You don't see what's going on here, do you? There's four hundred million dollars in damage to the city of Dallas. Lives have been lost. No suspects have been named. So the story being shaped is this could have been prevented. That the FBI didn't do its job.
-And they want to blame us?
-Agent Mulder -- we both know that if you and Agent Scully hadn't taken the initiative to search the adjacent building, you could have multiplied the fatalities by a hundred --
-But it's not the lives we saved. It's the lives we didn't.
--- if it looks bad, it's bad for the FBI --
--- if they want someone to blame, they can blame me. Agent Scully doesn't deserve this.
-She's in there right now saying the same thing about you.
-I breached protocol. I broke contact with the S.A.C. I ignored a primary tactical rule and left him alone with the device.
-Agent Mulder --
-She's missing. We've been unable to locate her or the vehicle they took her in.
-Whoever they are -- this goes right back to Dallas -- it goes right back to the bombing --
-I know. Agent Scully reported your suspicions to OPR. On the basis of her report, I sent techs over to S.A.C. Michaud's apartment. They picked up PSTN residues on his personal effects consistent with the construction of the vending machine device in Dallas.
-How deep does this go?
-Are we being watched?
-What are you doing?
-Mr. Mulder.
-What happened to Kurtzweil?
-Where's Scully?
-I have answers for you.
-Is she alive?
-I'm quite prepared to tell you everything, though there isn't much you haven't guessed.
-About the conspiracy?
-I think of it as an agreement. A word your father liked to use.
-What is it?
-A weak vaccine against the virus Agent Scully has been infected with. It must be administered with ninety six hours.
-You're lying.
-No. Though I have no way to prove otherwise. The virus is extraterrestrial. We know very little about it, except that it is the original inhabitant of this planet.
-A virus?
-A simple, unstoppable lifeform. What is a virus but a colonizing force that cannot be defeated? Living in a cave, underground, until it mutates. And attacks.
-This is what you've been conspiring to conceal? A disease?
-Aids, the ebola virus -- on the evolutionary scale they are newborns. This virus walked the planet long before the dinosaurs.
-What do you mean, walked?
-Until Dallas, we believed the virus was simply a controlling organism. That mass infection would make us a slave race.
-That's why you bombed the building. The infected firemen, the boy --
-But... he sacrificed his own daughter. My sister, Samantha.
-Why are you telling me this?
-I thought it only fair you should know, given how hard you've worked.
-What happened to Kurtzweil?
-As your father knew, things need to be sacrificed to the future.
-Where is he?
-Let me out. Stop the car.
-You have precious little time. What I've given you the alien colonists have no idea exists. You hold in your hand the power to end the project.
-How?
-The vaccine you hold is the only defense against the virus. Its introduction into an alien environment may have the power to destroy the delicate plans we've so assiduously protected for the last fifty years. Or it may not.
-What alien environment?
-Find Agent Scully. Save her. Only her science can save the future.
-What about you?
-We began to worry. Some of us have traveled so far, and you are the last to arrive.
-More concerns than that?
-My god...
-The geometry of mass infection presents certain conceptual re-evaluations for us. About our place in their Colonization.
-We're going to tell them what we've found. What we've learned. Turn over a body infected with the gestating organism.
-In hope of what? Learning that it's true?! That we are nothing more than digestives for the creation of a new race of alien lifeforms?!
-Let me remind you who is the new race. And who is the old. What could be gained by withholding anything from them; By pretending to ignorance? Our knowledge may forestall their plans to step up the timetable. To start Colonization early.
-And if it doesn't? By cooperating now we're but beggars to our demise! Our ignorance was in cooperating with the Colonists at all.
-Our vaccine may have no effect!
-We've allowed this man his freedom. His books have actually helped us to facilitate plausible denial. Has he outlived his usefulness to us?
-No one believes Kurtzweil or his books. He's a toiler. A crank.
-You can't kill Mulder. He's got too much light on him.
-You need not kill a man to destroy him.
-Sing a song of sixpence...
-A pocketful of rye...
-Did we go sailing?
-Almost. Mocky-Lock showed up.
-"Mocky-Lock is the bogeyman, Mocky-Lock wants me where I am."
-He hates me.
-She adores you.
-She thinks I can bring Edward back.
-We've been over this a dozen times. No.
-Why not? Just once. A trial run. What harm could it do?
-Miriam...
-He creates the obstacles, he decides which games to play.
-I've heard this argument before. It's not happening.
-It could take years for me to get past the barriers he's created.
-If we reverse the feed and bring Edward into your mind, it could be devastating for him. Imagine the shock of suddenly existing in a whole other world.
-I do it all the time!
-Yes, but, you're a willing participant. Picture Edward in a strange place, lost, frightened...
-I'd be there for him.
-And he might blame you for terrifying him. That one moment could erase all you've accomplished. And if that happened, the trust he has in you is gone.
-You're sure? Any more nightmares?
-No.
-Good. We need you healthy and relaxed. You're going to eat well, meditate, exercise, and watch mindless television.
-Yes mother.
-Don't bring it home in this.
-Henry wants me to try this Vietnamese place he's wild about. Want to come?
-I've got to feed my cat. Besides, I want to get to bed early.
-Sing a song of sixpence.
-A pocketful of fucking rye. What's wrong?
-Nothing.
-The first... What? Six or seven times I went in. Remember what happened?
-Disorientation, nausea, migraines, hallucinations, insomnia, paranoia.
-Like a New Year's Day hangover.
-This isn't your responsibility. Remember that. Don't let them use guilt as a tool. If you want to stop, say so.
-I'll be fine.
-Catherine? I'm about to start. If you want me to wait, or...
-Is it cold in here?
-...a pocketful of rye.
-Four and twenty blackbirds...
-Damn him.
-What's wrong?
-I refilled the Zyprexa and Atavan...
-I don't need them anymore...
-I'll come by tomorrow after work. With dinner.
-Thanks Miriam. Say hi to Henry and...
-...give a kiss to Edward.
-What if he wasn't like this? What if he was "normal?" Conscious. How far would you go?
-There's always a chance they'll confess.
-Really? I don't work with violent cases, I work with children. But even a kid lies. They love it when they get you to believe something that isn't true. Don't you think Stargher would do the same?
-Sometimes... Once they've been caught they feel a need for disclosure. They have so much they want to tell. But they've never had a sympathetic ear. They need someone to understand why. Stargher used to hide the bodies very carefully. It was part of the ritual. Some weren't found for weeks and any physical evidence had been meticulously wiped clean. But these last three...
-I still don't understand why I can't do this... This isn't some "troubled kid" you're dealing with.
-I realize that...
-This man is deeply disturbed, he...
-You don't know the procedure.
-Edward Baines, I presume. Hi, Ed. I'm Pete.
-Do you think that's funny?
-I read about a woman in TExas who was in a coma for seven years. Every time her husband came to visit, her heart would beat faster. Isn't that something? I don't know what name scientists have for something like that...
-It doesn't have much to do with science.
-What then?
-The soul. The spirit. Whatever you want to call it.
-Agent Novak?
-Peter, okay?
-Absolutely. I suppose everyone does.
-Just like we all have fantasies, right? Things only we know, that we don't share.
-With Stargher I saw things...
-What did you see?
-Why'd you bring him here?
-You're the shrink, you tell me.
-You thought Stargher wanted to be caught.
-I did, yeah.
-What about Julia?
-This is going to sound terrible, but... I don't think she matters anymore. Not to him. He never finished her. The others...he was able to make them his.
-You think you can do this, don't you?
-He might tell me about Julia. The part of him that wants to help, that feels shame and remorse. Who wants to be redeemed.
-This is Stargher we're talking about?
-Not Stargher, not really. He's split himself right down the middle. Good/evil, right/wrong, merciful/cruel. A monster. And an innocent child. If I could reach the boy.
-Whoa. Hold on. Aren't they the same guy?
-Don't you feel there are different sides to every personality? Maybe even the worst of us is capable of one decent act. We're all human.
-It's hard for me to see Stargher as human, capable of something like "remorse."
-Then what is he?
-Evil.
-If you believe that.
-Maybe this is a big fucking waste of time.
-What happened?
-What difference does it make...?
-A child can experience abuse worse than Charlie's. And grow up to be someone who would never, ever hurt another living thing.
-You're sure of that?
-Remember, Julia Hickson is priority number one. Nothing else matters. Find out where she is.
-Wait...
-He wants us to follow. The little boy...
-Little boy?! That's him!
-Where the hell are we?
-COME ON!
-That went well.
-You sure about this?
-I heard Julia and John got married.
-Yep. Eloped.
-Well look at that.
-I told you. You have to be optimistic. Believe in them...
-He's mine?
-He also says that until proven differently, Julia Hickson was found as a result of good old-fashioned detective work.
-It doesn't matter...
-They're hungry.
-Thank you.
-No problem.
-You liked him?
-What now?
-Who says?
-Mocky-Lock.
-Oh no... No you don't.
-"Mocky-Lock is the bogeyman. Mocky-Lock wants me where I am."
-She the one from Santa Cruz?
-Agent Cole.
-I need you to find something in the basement...
-Already there.
-Lattimer sold the hoist to a guy named Bainbridge who tired to build a machine works out near Delano. Bainbridge ends up in bankruptcy court and the state winds up with the land - it's just sitting there.
-Delano?
-Yep. And guess who they hired to seal up the place?
-You're kidding me.
-Shouldn't we get a catheter in him?
-Not a gift. A highly evolved area in her cerebral cortex, that's all. A genetic fluke.
-Intravenous administration complete.
-That's why we monitor the use of the drugs so closely. We don't want her getting to that degree of perceptual disorientation.
-I hate to admit it, but there's something perversely satisfying about this.
-She changed the codes.
-What's wrong?
-Instead of going into his mind...
-When did he lapse into the coma?
-What about the legalities of this...?
-Catherine!
-When we got here, you just topped and pulled her out.
-Into Stargher. Inside...
-I have done this, you know. Been inside.
-Nervous?
-I have to ask you some things... Are you taking any prescription drugs?
-Prevacid. For my stomach.
-Any psychiatric medication?
-No.
-What about narcotics?
-No.
-I know your partner's here, but it's very important that you're honest.
-I am. I'm a pretty boring guy.
-Is she alright?
-Agent Novak.
-Dr. Kent.
-You're looking well.
-Thanks you. Six weeks off does a body good. I heard she got the approval to try the reversal with Edward.
-That's a secret.
-How's the patient.
-Awaiting his arrival.
-What about the cat?
-Someone looking after her little girl?
-So?
-I need it.
-Now?
-The dog's an albino. He'd love an animal like that.
-The Phoenix office tested that hair thirty minutes ago. And we got the match.
-How is she?
-Here he is.
-Breeders typically destroy albino pups, so this animal is truly unique.
-After three years she remembers what the guy drove?
-We proceed assuming she is.
-Let's give old Carl a call. Tell him he's got company.
-We'll go back to his house, Pete. There's still a lot to do. Analyze the videos, track sales of the bleach, go through his records. Maybe he owns property somewhere.
-You sure you want to go through with this?
-What else do we do?!
-I don't know, Pete, but for god's sake... This is nuts. Do you really understand what they're going to do?
-I don't have to.
-Why jeopardize what we've already done? We caught the sonofabitch. Carl Stargher. That's going to be like Bundy, Gacy, Dahmer. A case that makes careers. But if we push our luck. If this is all bullshit and we come out smelling like it.
-Tell you what. If this thing burns us, I take that heat. I give you permission to point your finger at me and say "It was all his idea."
-Right here.
-Next time, tell me, okay?
-Jesus Christ, man, you look like hell.
-You're bettin' the farm on something you saw after they pumped you full of god knows-what kind of shit?
-I saw her. Julia. Alive. I saw everything.
-Ich weiss nicht.
-Den leuten.
-Ja, ja, ja.
-Hier sind fruher Fursten ans unt eingeganger. Hier hat sogar ein Metternich verkehrt...
-Give her some cigarettes.
-Warscheinlich ist der murder.
-Thank you.
-Sit down.
-You were awfully good.
-Do you understand German?
-But I could follow it fine. Perhaps Harry told you about me. My name's Holly Martins.
-Well, I saw you at the funeral.
-I'm so sorry, I didn't notice much.
-You were in love with him, weren't you?
-Oh, American, thank you. I like them.
-No.
-He has a little dog.
-Don't understand what Harry saw in a fellow like that.
-He said he remembered me too. Seems to show he wasn't in much pain.
-Dr. Winkel told me that.
-Dr. Winkel? Who is he?
-The doctor Harry used to go to. He was passing just after it happened.
-His own doctor?
-Yes.
-Yes. They said it wasn't the driver's fault. Harry often said what a careful driver he was.
-He was Harry's driver?
-...at all.
-I don't know. They didn't answer.
-You shouldn't get mixed up in this.
-Well, if I do find out something, can I look you up again?
-What's she talking about?
-Anything really wrong with your papers?
-They're forged.
-Why?
-Oh, what was the name of that doctor? Harry's doctor?
-Drink?
-Harry?
-Who are you looking for now?
-Sssh. Don't. Don't, please.
-The Porter is going to talk to us tonight.
-Might as well I suppose. Are you busy?
-Can I hear you?
-In German?
-I can try. Is it comedy, or tragedy?
-Do I...
-Gestern bein heurigen...
-What's that?
-H-E-Z-T...
-Tell me about him.
-When...what did you do?
-...to steal my girl.
-Oh, that was many years ago.
-Tell me more.
-...and buried him.
-Seemed like a good idea.
-It's just what he used to say.
-Well, I didn't learn that from him.
-If we have to see the Porter we'd better go.
-What's the hurry? Can't we talk quietly for a couple of minutes?
-I thought you wanted...
-A moment ago you said you didn't want to see the Porter.
-We're both in it, Harry.
-Holly.
-I'm so sorry.
-That's Harry's place, isn't it?
-Let's go away.
-What's the matter?
-Let's not get into any more trouble.
-Sneak out the other way, and go back to your theatre. I'd better not see you again.
-What are you going to do?
-I wish I knew.
-Wer ist da?
-I thought you were going to go away. Aren't the police after you?
-I'm going back home.
-What happened to your hand?
-A parrot...Let it go.
-Have you seen Calloway?
-Can you imagine a parrot nipping a man?
-...you know.
-He's better dead. I know he was mixed up - but not like that.
-I knew him for twenty years - at least I thought I knew him. I suppose he was laughing at fools like us all the time.
-He liked to laugh.
-Seventy pounds a tube. He wanted me to write for his great medical charity.
-...and my lover. He was Harry.
-...again.
-Are you going, too?
-...is there?
-...Headquarters.
-Harry.
-What is on your mind? Why did you hide?
-Here, it will be cold on that train.
-I shall be all right.
-What is going to happen? Where is Harry?
-He's safe in the Russian zone.
-How do you know?
-Did he say anything about me - tell me?
-Oh, the usual things...
-Of course I didn't tell Calloway.
-That's his headache.
-His.
-Oh, well.
-Why are you lying?
-...quarrel?
-...anyway?
-Good evening, Miss Schmidt. You remember me?
-Of course.
-Cigarette, Miss Schmidt?
-Thank you.
-Nichts danke. Kein.
-...parents.
-Must you take those letters? CALLOWAY Yes, I'm afraid so.
-They're Harry's.
-That's the reason.
-You won't learn anything from them. They are only love letters. There are not many of them.
-They'll be returned to you, Miss Schmidt, as soon as they've been examined.
-Right. Sit down Miss Schmidt, we will send your letters and things back to you.
-You know as much as I do, Miss Schmidt - you were intimate with Lime, weren't you?
-Do you know this man?
-Joseph Harbin...
-No.
-He works in a military hospital.
-No.
-In one of his letters he asked you to telephone - a good friend of his called Joseph. He gave you the number of the Casanova Club. That is where a lot of friends of Lime used to go.
-You can help us.
-Now then, Miss Schmidt, I'm not interested in your forged papers - that's purely a Russian case. When did you last see Lime?
-I want the truth, Miss Schmidt. We know he is alive.
-Joseph Harbin's body was found in the coffin.
-I said another man was buried in his place.
-Where's Harry?
-That's what we want to find out.
-I'm sorry - I don't seem able to understand anything you say. He's alive now this minute - he's doing something.
-Miss Schmidt, we know he is somewhere across the canal in the Russian sector... You may as well help us. In a few minutes Colonel Brodsky will be questioning you about your papers. Tell me where Lime is.
-I don't know.
-Vienna is a closed city, Miss Schmidt, he can't get away.
-Must you take those?
-They'll be returned, miss.
-They are - private - letters.
-There you are, miss, your receipt for the letters.
-I don't want it.
-Here we are. You'll be all right here, Miss.
-Thank you, you have been so kind. Anna moves down to stand CL of Paine.
-Well, I'll be saying good night. Good night, Miss.
-Yes.
-I would very much like to meet you, Baron. Come around.
-Austrians aren't allowed in your hotel. Couldn't we meet at the Mozart cafe?
-Where?
-Just around the corner.
-How will I know you?
-What is it?
-We are interested in this case. Have you arrested the girl?
-Please keep this passport to yourself, until I make some inquiries, will you, Major?
-Yes, of course.
-...Austrian Police Headquarters.
-Can you tell me whose...
-My name is Calloway.
-Martins.
-You a friend of Lime's?
-Yes.
-Been here long?
-You've had a bit of a shock, haven't you? You could do with a drink.
-Could you buy me one. I haven't got any Austrian kroners. Thanks.
-Back in school. Never so lonesome in my life till he showed up.
-When did you see him last?
-See much of him before that?
-I'm afraid I've never heard of you. What's your name again?
-Holly Martins.
-Did you ever hear of "The Lone Rider of Santa Fe?"
-I can't say that I have.
-"Death at the Double X Ranch" - Ra- a-nch.
-Must have known I was broke. Even sent me an airplane ticket. It's a shame.
-What?
-Him dying like that.
-...to him.
-What are you trying to say?
-...policemen. I have to call them sheriffs.
-Ever seen one?
-...a cop. You're a real cop I suppose.
-Why don't you catch a few murderers for a change?
-Listen, Callaghan.
-...expense.
-What the devil?
-Getting around, Martins.
-And there was a third man there. I suppose that doesn't sound peculiar to you.
-Tactful too, aren't we, Callaghan?
-Miss Schmidt.
-Get the next plane.
-As soon as I get to the bottom of this, I'll get the next plane.
-Death is at the bottom of everything, Martins. Leave death to the professionals.
-What do you want to see a doctor for, huh?
-A parrot bit me.
-Oh, stop behaving like a fool, Martins.
-Well?
-Do you see what that means?
-That is the racket Harry Lime organized.
-Next, Paine.
-So would I.
-Bring him in.
-...a week ago.
-...be responsible for you in the streets.
-...in the morning.
-I followed his shadow until suddenly...
-Well?...
-This is where he vanished.
-I see.
-I suppose you don't believe me.
-No.
-Look...I tell you, you don't think I'm blind, do you?
-Yes. Where were you when you saw him first?
-Fifty yards right down there.
-Which side of the road?
-I was on that side, the shadow was on that side, and no turnings on either side.
-How about the doorway?
-I tell you I heard him running ahead of me.
-It wouldn't work.
-We'll never get him in the Russian zone.
-Calloway!
-A girl of spirit.
-Didn't I?
-Do you mind if I drop off somewhere on the way? I've got an appointment, won't take five minutes...
-Of course.
-Paine lent me one of your books; "Oklahoma Kid," I think it was. Read a bit of it... Think it's pretty good. What made you take up this sort of thing? Been doing it for long?
-All right, Calloway. You win.
-I never knew there were snake charmers in Texas...
-I said you win.
-Win what?
-What time is it?
-Calloway, can't you do something about Anna?
-Wait a minute - let me out.
-Well, there's not much time.
-Be sensible, Martins.
-Please be careful, sir. Up we come. Written anything lately?
-It's a military hotel.
-Write her out a receipt, Paine. Give her a receipt for these letters too.
-Very good, sir.
-...of Santa Fe."
-Shall I go over there, sir?
-Get me Major Callaghan on the phone.
-...excuse me.
-Please hurry up - just get him on the telephone.
-Do you know his number?
-...his number.
-I'll look it up for you.
-You do!
-Welcome?
-They wouldn't know me.
-How long can one stay here on this stage money?
-Come upstairs a moment.
-I know a very good dentist.
-It was just a soldier. I was trying to punch his major in the eye.
-No, a major, were you really?
-Heard of Harry Lime?
-I was going to stay with him, but he died Thursday.
-Goodness, that's awkward.
-...this lecture business, you'll put me up here a while?
-Seems exciting.
-Oh, Mr. Martins, good evening.
-Hello - Mr. Martins, we tried to get you at your hotel. We have arranged that lecture for tomorrow.
-What about?
-What's that?
-Well, yes. I suppose that is what I meant to say.
-Zane Grey.
-Mr. Crabbin.
-What is it, Sergeant?
-Mr. Holly Martins, sir.
-Who?
-The author. Thought you might be interested.
-Never heard of him.
-Oh, he's very goad, sir. I've read quite a few of his books.
-Striptease, sir.
-Very popular, sir.
-...leaving tomorrow, sir.
-Hello, Harry.
-Well, well, they seem to've been giving you quite some busy time.
-Listen...
-Yes.
-I want to talk to you.
-Listen, Harry - I didn't believe that...
-Hmm.
-She's been arrested.
-What can I do, old man, I'm dead, aren't I?
-You can help her.
-...exactly who did you tell about me? Hmm?
-Unwise, Holly...
-And - Anna...
-Did the police believe you?
-Well, I've got quite a lot on my mind.
-What do you want me to do?
-You can get somebody else...
-Do you expect me to give myself up?
-Why not?
-It's far better thing that I do... Holly, you and I aren't heroes, the world doesn't make any heroes...
-You've got plenty of contacts.
-I'm only safe in the Russian Zone... I'm safe as long as they can use me...
-As long as they can use you?
-You told them, didn't you?
-Don't try to be a policeman, old man.
-Part? You can have any part you want, so long as you don't interfere...I have never cut you out of anything yet.
-I remember when they raided the gambling joint - you know a safe way out...
-Have you ever seen any of your victims?
-...this way.
-Mr. Martins. Delighted to meet you. Come let's sit down here. Ober! Zwei. What would you like. Tea? Coffee?
-Coffee.
-It's wonderful how you keep the tension.
-You really liked it?
-We came out of his place like this, and were walking this way. A friend of his called to him from over there. Harry went across and from up there came the truck. It was just about here.
-...were of you.
-...you know and all that.
-Well, there was only you, and this friend of his. Who is he?
-...you.
-Not necessarily. She'd probably want to help.
-What's the good of another post mortem? Suppose you dig up something - well - discreditable to Harry?
-...your address?
-...the best way one can, you know.
-Not yet.
-Mr. Popescu is here tonight.
-The Roumanian?
-Mr. Popescu - Mr. Martins.
-Are you mad?
-Dr. Winkel?
-Vinkel.
-Vinkel...You've got quite a collection of er-collection.
-Martins.
-Coming to the point, please.
-Thank you.
-Find out?
-Hear the details.
-Could he have been at all conscious?
-...he was. Yes, for a short time, while they carried him across the road.
-In great pain?
-Speak English?
-Already gone.
-Coffin?
-Baron Kurtz.
-Excuse me!
-Did you know Mr. Lime well?
-Mr. Lime - yes.
-You remember me? Upstairs...
-...Popescu...
-und ich kann nicht alle kennen.
-Sehen sie da gleich da unter. Da unten ist est passiert. Passiert - English.
-Happened...Yes happened right down there.
-You saw it?
-Not saw, heard...heard. I heard the brakes. Wham! And I got to the window and saw them carry the body to the other side of the er...er Joseph...that's Joseph Emperor Joseph Statue.
-Could he have been conscious?
-Conscious? Cas soll ich auch noch wissen?
-Oh, er - oh...was he - was he still alive?
-Er, alive? He couldn't have been alive, not with his head in the way it was.
-I was told that he did not die at once.
-...give evidence.
-Kurtz.
-Yes.
-The Roumanian?
-Yes.
-There was a third man - he didn't give evidence.
-You don't mean that doctor?
-You gotta tell your story to the police.
-Police? Why police? Das ist alles blodsum was sie da sangen. No, no. It is all nonsense; it was an accident.
-You don't know it was an accident. You only saw a dead man and three men carry him.
-Der ami macht mich noch ganz deppert. I should have listened to my wife. She said you were up to no good. Gossip.
-Fer von mir aus gehen sie zur gansalt aber mich lassen sie aus mit der politzei.
-Now, hold on.
-I have no evidence. I saw nothing. I said nothing. It's not my business.
-Yes, it is.
-Oh, you did.
-Harry...
-I thought there was something funny about the whole thing.
-Funny?
-Something wrong.
-That's all you meant?
-Wasn't he at the police inquiry?
-He didn't want to get involved.
-What else did he tell you?
-He probably knows a lot more than that. Somebody's lying.
-No.
-Joseph Harbin.
-Third Man.
-Mr. Martins...
-...this time.
-Should I make it all fact?
-...Mr. Martins?
-Passport, please.
-What's the purpose of your visit here?
-A friend of mine offered me a job here.
-Where are you staying?
-With him. Fifteen Stiffgasse.
-Lime. Harry Lime.
-Okay.
-Excuse me.
-Yes?
-I'm Daffy.
-Richard. Hi.
-Look, I'm sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could help me out.
-Help you out?
-Yeah; just ten or fifteen dollars maybe.
-I'm sorry, I don't think so.
-I'm waiting on some money coming through. It's just that at the moment, you know, I'm short. They're going to chuck me out. On the street in Bangkok, that's bad.
-I'm really sorry but I just arrived; I'm on a pretty tight budget myself. I just can't afford it.
-I'll share something with you.
-If you could see your way to lending me some cash -
-Thank you, sir. Thank you. I promise I will repay you.
-You. You're the guy that lent me the money.
-Yeah, that's right. Now could you be quiet so I can get some sleep.
-Ten dollars. I'll find a way to pay you back. How would you like to know About somewhere special? The perfect beach. Paradise. No one else knows about it. That's got to be worth something. What do you say?
-Look I don't care about the money right now: I just want some sleep. So if you could be quiet -
-Yea, OK. I will be, I will be, I promise.
-What are you doing in Thailand? Tourist?
-Traveler.
-You go to Patpong? See smoke from pussy, ping pong ball from pussy, razor blade from pussy; bird from pussy.
-I don't think so.
-Why not? Thai girls best in the world. Thai food best in the world. Thai dope best in the world.
-Bonjour.
-The noise? Don't worry. You're on holiday.
-She means your neighbor. The Scotsman
-Oh, that noise! Yes, he certainly did.
-It would be nice though, if there was a place like that. You know, that no one could get to.
-It's arranged. Tomorrow morning. Eight hundred bath.
-Nice work.
-He will not take us to the island. It's in the National Park and it is forbidden to go there. But we are allowed to travel to this one to stay for one night.
-Yes, of course I can swim. How far do you think it is?
-One or two kilometers.
-Oh. Great. Not far at all. I don't like to be negative, but do you think we should let someone know where we're going?
-Why?
-Richard, it's secret. That's the whole point.
-I don't know - I'm American.
-So?
-We think in miles, not kilometers.
-So how many miles do you think it is?
-Everyone ok?
-We're ok.
-Richard - I saw a fin!
-What!
-A shark fin?
-I don't know, just a fin. Over there. About a hundred meters.
-Big?
-Yes.
-Well what the fuck do you expect me to do about it.
-Nothing. I just thought you ought to know.
-Well to be honest, Etienne, I would rather have not known about it.
-I'm sorry.
-She is gone!
-She just went under the water. She was pulled under. Oh God, I don't see her.
-What about Moliere?
-He tried to borrow money from us.
-What idiot would lend him money? It would disappear.
-He said if we lent him money h would tell us about a secret beach.
-It's on an island that no one get to.
-But he has been there, off course.
-We leave our rucksacks on this island and then we swim.
-One kilometer
-Two.
-Bonsoir.
-Did you sleep well?
-Not too bad.
-Hi.
-So from there to there?
-We swim.
-Have you told someone?
-No.
-Francoise -
-I think so too.
-You realize that in the eternity of space, there is a planet, just like this one, where you are photographing back towards us. You're photographing yourself.
-Incredible.
-There are infinite worlds out there, where anything that can happen does happen.
-So on one you are rich, on another poor. On one you are a murderer, on another the victim.
-Exactly.
-That is just the kind of pretentious bullshit that Englishmen and Americans always say to French girls so that they can sleep with them.
-Sorry. I thought I was doing quite well.
-Too far?
-We lost our key.
-Do you know the Kentucky friend mouse story?"
-Woman bites chicken leg, turns out to be a mouse. Or a rat. It's an urban myth.
-Exactly. Always happened to someone else.
-So?
-So there's an urban myth, well more of a rural myth, going around here at the moment. It's about a beach.
-But, Danny, if HaShem is everything, and we are nothing how are we to judge His actions?
-You think?! Based on what?
-There's midrash supporting this. My father read a book by Shalom Spiegel that -- Isaac actually died and was reborn.
-No one follows that midrash.
-Watch your language....
-And you, if you had come out of Egypt, you would have been destroyed in the desert with those who worshipped the Golden Calf.
-They only kill them when they love them?
-What's a fascist?
-I rest my case. He's a Jewish Nazi. He always was.
-Whereas Avi's a Zionist Nazi.
-The Zionists aren't Nazis.
-They're racist, they're militaristic, they act like bullyboys in the territories....
-They don't have extermination camps.
-Read the early Zionists on European Jewry; they sound like Goebbels.
-They sound like you.
-...So she takes the pants in back -- where they try them on? And I think fuck it....
-Are you shitting me?? Right in the store?
-Fucking Danny, man...
-Didn't you see <i>Raiders of the Lost Ark</i>?
-What??
-That was an ark, man. That was a Torah. They fucked around with it, and the Torah melted their faces.
-That's a movie, you moron.
-What do you think you're doing?
-Who the fuck are you?
-Bring your friends.... We're not his friends.
-What, do you like it here?
-You coming?
-Do we have to listen to this shit?
-Yes.
-Oh, please...
-Where did you read this? Robert Faurisson?
-Yeah. He's a respected scholar. Even No-am Chomsky says he --
-What do you care?
-I don't, but...
-It's called the flame alphabet. It's supposed to be the word of God written in fire.
-Fire...
-How come you know all this shit?
-How come you don't know it? How can you say you hate the Jews when you don't know anything about --
-Fuck you. I hate the Jews at least as much as you do.
-Yeah, but not on the letters.
-Why the fuck not?
-You write that? Come work for me. You've got a lot to learn; I can teach it to you.
-I have a job.
-This? This is a joke. I'll give your group a thousand bucks.
-You gave fifty thousand to that college magazine.
-Fifty's an exaggeration. Anyway, that was a different moment. Things were possible that aren't now.
-Actually, I think this moment has possibilities that --
-Forget the Jewish stuff. It doesn't play anymore. There's only the market, now, and it doesn't care who you are.
-People still need values, beliefs....
-No, they don't. Not the smart ones. Look, I'll give you five grand if you can document your tax-exempt status.... But when you fall off this horse, come see me. I can show you how to make a lot of money.
-I don't care about money.
-You will.
-You're a Jew. Maybe you don't realize it, but you are.
-Have you read Toynbee? Spengler?
-Nobody reads that stuff anymore.
-Too difficult?
-Too Christian. You know Jameson? Paul Virilio?
-The point is, the modern world is a Jewish disease.
-Disease? What disease?
-Which is what?
-You're not in school? What do you do?
-I work at the Big Boy warehouse. In Queens. I drive a fork-lift.
-Where'd you read all that stuff?
-Why no silencer?
-"...<i>und die Worte zerfielen mir im Munde wie modrige Pilze</i>..."
-"And the words fell apart in my mouth like moldering mushrooms..."
-How come so many of the books are in Spanish?
-They're my father's. He's from Argentina. My mother's family went there during the war. That's where they met.
-Are they still together?
-He's in a mental institution.... He's been there for ten years, off and on. Mostly on.
-Is he a Nazi?
-I guess. His parents are. He doesn't care about that.
-What's he care about?
-You think people ever commit suicide out of happiness?
-You're not like the others, are you?... Your friends.
-I bet. He didn't realize that nobody who talks such a good game ever plays one.
-Too many good players down here. I'm with one right now.
-Oh, really?
-Bigger and better.
-Who's Linda?
-Why won't you talk to me?
-When can I see you?
-Your father??
-I'm coming to your room tonight.
-Where'd you get this?
-How come there's no punctuation?
-That was a later invention, it's not in the scrolls.... Anyway, the Jews know where the sentences end. They know the whole thing by heart. Every word. Every letter.
-Do you know it like that? By heart.
-No.
-But you can read it, the Hebrew.... Right?
-What do you care?
-Va-yomer... And he said. It goes the other way.
-Oh, yeah...
-Va-yomer adonai el Avram: lech lecha mayartzcha oo-mimohlad-tcha oo-m'bayt avaycha el ha-ertez asher arecha...
-What's it mean?
-I want to learn to read it.
-Why?
-Know your enemy.... 'Cause it's a basic text of Western culture. I want to read it in the original. Okay?
-Hebrew's very difficult. It would take years.
-Put something on. You're not supposed to be naked in front of it.
-Why not?
-They think it's the word of God, and it's holy, and the flesh isn't....
-That's stupid.
-See, the Jews love to separate things: the holy from the profane, milk from meat, wool from linen, the Sabbath from the week, the Jew from the gentile.... As if one little scrap of this was going to completely contaminate that.
-What assholes.
-Who gets contaminated, the Jews or the gentiles?
-Good question. Both. Aleph...
-It looks a little like a swastika.
-It's silent. It holds a place, takes a vowel. The vowels are little dots that go under the letters.
-Where are they?
-They don't put them in the Torah. I'll get you a chumash, they'll have them there...Bet...Gimel...Dalid...Hay... How come you're here instead of with Curtis? Besides the Hebrew lessons...
-The sex is better.
-Even though his dick is so big?
-With you there's a tragic dimension.
-Payn tash-chiton v'ashiytem...
-V'asitem...
-V'asitem lechem pessel to-monat. And make no graven image of the Lord, or the form of any figure, or of man or woman, or beast or fowl or fish or anything that looks like anything. Because He's not like anything. Not only can't you see Him or hear Him, you can't even think about Him. I mean, what's the difference between that and Him
-No difference.
-Christianity's silly, but at least there's something to believe in. Or not believe. Judaism there's nothing.
-Nothing but nothingness...Judaism's not about belief.
-What's it about?
-About doing things. You light candles, say prayers, keep the Sabbath, visit the sick....
-And belief follows?
-No. Nothing follows. You don't do it because it's smart or stupid or it saves your soul. You're not saved. Nobody's saved. You do it because the Torah tells you do. You submit to the Torah.
-Fuck that.
-Don't curse in front of it.
-Why should I submit?
-You shouldn't.
-No, I think you shouldn't.
-You're learning the Hebrew really fast.
-I told you, I'm good at this.
-Plus you have nothing else to do all day.
-What...? You think I'm Jewish?
-Nazis talk about it all the time.
-The real Nazis. Hitler, Goebbels, they talked about Jews incessantly.... You ever read their diaries?...
-Is that why you became a Nazi? So you could talk about Jews incessantly?
-Believe me, Adolf Hitler couldn't possibly have hated the Jews as much as I do. Not in a billion years. You know why?
-'Cause he wasn't a rabbi.
-You want a punch in the mouth?
-Okay... Why don't we light candles on Friday? Let's light candles.... And say the kaddish.
-Kaddish is the prayer for the dead.
-You can't. Do you know how many people I've brought into...the movement...?
-Come on, we can be like Eichmann. He studied Torah. He hated Jews.
-Is it like Eichmann? Are we goofing?
-I don't know. I just want to try it.
-Shit... Did you talk to your mother today?
-No. What are you looking for?
-Nothing. Why are you doing this? I thought God didn't exist.
-He commands it whether He exists or not... Look, we can fight him and be crushed. Or we can submit.
-And be crushed.
-Look, just light the candles with me. Then we'll eat. You have to eat.
-Miriam called, looking for you. She said you might come, so I...
-You gotta get out of here.
-Carla?... It's me, Danny...Danny Balint...? We met at that...[meeting at your house.]
-Yeah, I remember.... Kill any Jews yet?
-I didn't realize you cared.
-I don't. I was just curious how full of shit you were.
-Did you know that there was a <i>New York Times</i> reporter there that night?
-Really, which one? I bet it was the guy with the Prada shoes.
-I didn't notice his shoes.... Did your mother know he was there?
-I doubt it. How did you find out?
-That's a much easier game.
-I thought there were people here....
-Who's Eichmann?
-Shema yisrael adonai elohenu adonai echod.
-What'd you say?
-Why are you taking that?
-...I thought we agreed, no anti- Semitism...it's exactly what we're trying to put behind us.... Trash the blacks, fine; but...
-Did you see how they reacted to him?
-Yes, of course. But that only plays in this room, with people who aren't embarrassed to call themselves Nazis. If you want a modern fascism, you don't mention Jews.
-It's a romantic movement, Curtis. It always has been.
-An investment banking house.
-Danny, the night we met, you said the name Ilio Manzetti. We were impressed. We were excited. But here it is September, and Mr. Manzetti is still walking around breathing the air.
-More cultural than political.
-Obviously.
-That would be a catastrophic mistake.
-People hate Jews. Do you agree?
-They used to. Today it's not an issue.
-You wouldn't announce it?
-I'd say nothing. After two or three, people will try to find a pattern. A reason.
-But when it comes out, the public will be outraged. It will look like Germany all over again.
-Totally. The family emigrated from Bulgaria when he was eleven.
-How would you kill him?
-...Insulting people who were in the camps. ...What's the point?
-They're liars and cowards.
-I'm sure they are. But what do we accomplish by pointing it out?
-Leo Strauss... I've got to go to Boston. I came to say goodbye.
-What about Mrs. Moebius and...?
-They left an hour ago. You mind some personal advice? Forget Carla. That's not the side your bread's buttered on. How soon can you get back to the city?
-A week or so. There's something I want to do here first.
-We want to build bridges to certain positions in the political mainstream: works like <i>The Bell Curve</i>, <i>Sociobiology</i>, anti-Zionism, anti- immigration, the com-munitarian issue.... We'll hold conferences: invite liberals, blacks, Jews. Chomsky, Cockburn, Stanley Crouch, Shahack....
-What about...Manzetti, the synagogues....
-That doesn't seem to be happening, does it?
-Is it okay if I record this?
-No... Yeah, fine, go ahead... So what's this about? Is this about me?
-I'm trying to figure out where the radical right is going to next....I thought you were the most interesting person at that meeting.
-What about Curtis Zampf?
-Curtis is a politician -- and a bit of a hustler. He's not a thinker.
-I agree.
-The other night you said the modern world is a Jewish disease. Could you elaborate on that?
-In the movement -- the racialist movement -- we believe there's a hierarchy of the races. Not just in IQ, but in the civilization, the art, the forms of government, the civilizations that each race produces... Why are you writing this down if you're recording it?
-It helps me concentrate.... So does that mean you're a white supremacist?
-What should I be, a white inferior- ist? A multicultural Zulu egalitarian? Let me ask, where are your people from?
-My mother's family is French, my father's was German, originally.
-German. Mine, too. So who do you think's given more to the world, the Germans -- Beethoven, Goethe, Nietzsche -- or the entire continent of Africa? Ibos, Bantus, Mandingos...
-The Jews are different.... Blacks are disgusting and inferior, but it's like criticizing a retarded child. The Jews are...a poison in the human well....
-A poison...?
-Let me give you an example.... Sexuality.
-Sexuality??? What do you mean?
-You ever fuck a Jewish girl?
-What??!?
-Did you ever fuck one, Guy?
-What's that go to do with...I've gone out with a, with Jewish women. Why?
-And? WHat did you notice?
-Notice? Like what...?
-Jewish girls like to give head, right?
-I don't know. Is that right?
-And Jewish men like to get it.
-Everybody likes to, don't they?
-Yes. It's very pleasurable. But the Jews are obsessed with it. You know why?
-Why?
-Because the Jew is essentially female.
-Female...
-Real men -- white, Christian men -- we fuck a woman. We make her come with our cocks. But the Jew doesn't like to penetrate and thrust -- he can't assert himself that directly -- so he resorts to perversions. Oral sex is technically a perversion, you know that, don't you? After a woman has been with a Jewish man, she never wants a
-Does that mean the Jew is the better lover?
-You're not listening. He isn't better. He gives pleasure, but that's actually a weakness.
-Danny, what makes you think you know all this?
-Let's just say I've done due diligence.
-So, fine, it's not that the Jew, the Jews own the media and the banks. It's that they're sexually corrupt.
-Deracinate... Tear out the roots. A people -- a real people -- derives its genius from the land: the sun, the sea, the soil. This is how they know themselves. But the Jew doesn't have soil.
-He has Israel.
-Those aren't Jews.
-Of course they're Jews.
-Notice the Israelis: a fundamentally secular society. They no longer need Judaism because they have soil. The real Jew is a wanderer, a nomad. He has no roots, no attachments. So he "universalizes" everything. He can't hammer a nail, plow a field. He can only buy and sell, invest capital, manipulate markets. He takes the life of a people rooted in soil and turns
-Are all Jews the same?
-What? Excuse me?... You're kidding, right?
-Do you know Rabbi Stanley Nadelman? He used to be at Congregation Beth Elohim in Ozone Park...?
-Who? How would I know him?
-He says you were bar mitzvahed there, in March 1988.
-You believe that? And you call yourself a reporter?
-So you're saying it's not true.
-Were you ever bar mitzvahed anywhere else?
-Do you know who you're fucking with here?
-That's what I'm trying to find out, Danny. Who am I fucking with here?
-Listen to me....
-Why would Nadelman lie?
-To discredit me. Because I know who they are. Look, I thought I explained it to you. Those people can say or do anything. And they will. It's all narrative to them, it's... Are you going to print what this guy said?
-Give me a reason not to.
-It's slander. It's reckless disregard. I'll sue you and your fucking Jew paper.
-But if the Jews are strengthened by hate, wouldn't this "destruction" you speak of -- by love or by any other means -- in fact make them more powerful than they are already?
-Did you kill Ilio Manzetti?
-Two days ago you addressed a Nazi rally. Last week you went to a Torah study group.
-What were you, following me?
-How do you reconcile the two?
-I don't. Look, stay out of what you don't understand.
-Explain it so I can.
-You work for the <i>New York Times</i>. Your whole job in life is not to understand things like me.
-I don't think you know what you are.
-Yeah, and what are you? A <i>Times</i> man? A Presbyterian? Impotent? A prick?
-Who killed Manzetti?
-If I tell you, will you pull the story? Not write about me?
-It's too late.... If I didn't, somebody else would. Yom Kippur starts at sundown. Will you go to synagogue?
-I always won.
-Why did you come tonight? To see me?
-To hear them read Torah.
-I thought you hated Torah.
-That doesn't mean I don't like hearing it.
-You know the joke: a Jew's shipwrecked on a desert island. When they rescue him, they see he's built two synagogues. They say, for vhat do you need two synagogues? He says, vun to pray in, and vun I'd never set foot in so long as I live, so help me God. You pray in the one you'd never set foot in...and vice versa.
-I can't help what I think.
-Tell me about Lina Moebius.
-How did you...?
-I work in the DA's office. You go to those meetings, half the people there are informants.
-You mean the <i>Times</i> guy?
-Which <i>Times</i> guy?
-You're telling me you killed him? You? Killed him? Bullshit. What kind of gun did you use?
-A forty-five.
-It was a nine millimeter.
-You're lying.
-So are you... But they'll believe you.... Lina Moebius is saying the whole thing was your idea. That you proposed it in a meeting at her house. Ah, Jesus, Danny... What were you thinking? Are you glad Manzetti's dead? Do you really want to kill Jews? You want to kill me?
-All right, what if all along you were actually infiltrating the Nazis -- to expose them....
-But I wasn't.
-And only talked about killing Manzetti to convince them you were an anti-Semite. If you'd had any idea somebody would take it seriously, you never would have said it.
-I can't say that.
-Think about your father. Your sister.
-The truth doesn't mean anything to you, does it?
-Danny, I'm trying to -- save you.
-You shut up. Who do you think you are?
-How did you get the fucking number?
-I want you to say kaddish for her. It's the only thing she asked from us....
-I don't do that.
-You do it on the inside....
-Don't tell me what I --
-...I want you to do it on the outside, too.
-No!
-Lina Moebius. And you are...?
-Daniel Balint.
-Balint?
-It's German.
-What part of Germany are you people from?
-From the Rhineland originally.
-Are you with the FBI, Mr. Balint?... Or any other law enforcement agency?
-Without blood -- a willingness to spill it -- there's no real power, no authority.
-Curtis is afraid you'll marginalize us.
-We're already marginal. We are saying what no one else has the guts to say. Isn't that precisely our appeal?
-So what Jew would you kill first?
-Do you feel you're making progress here?
-You mean Ilio Manzetti?
-How have things been going?
-Fine.
-Hello...?
-Lina... It's happening. Tonight.
-What is happening?
-Beth Shalom. Like you wanted.
-Beth Shalom? What are you talking about? Who is this...?
-What about chicken?
-That's meat.
-The Bible only says don't seethe a kid in its mother's milk. But chickens don't give milk.
-Look, you want cheese, go someplace else.
-But it's stupid, right? You admit it's stupid.
-No, I don't admit it's stupid.
-You can have chicken with eggs but not with milk. Why is that?
-I'm not here to talk about religious law, if you don't like --
-But you already talked about it: you said it's not stupid. Why isn't it stupid?
-Steve...
-What are you doing here?
-He's going to die. He won't take his medicine. He eats dairy. He probably still smokes when I'm not around. I asked him to come live with us. Alex offered to share his room, unsolicited.... But he didn't want to be any trouble.
-Then he couldn't be bitter about living alone.
-Ah, Jesus Christ, Danny, how can you wear that thing?... You know what it means? To your people...
-They're not my people....
-Tell it to Hitler.
-Oh, he decides? Hitler's the chief rabbi now?...
-Is this because of those kids who used to beat you up?
-What kids?...
-The Polacks? From Sacred Heart?
-Nobody ever beat me up. Look, Linda, there're fifty reasons. Even if you knew them all, there'd be another fifty you didn't know.
-Do you know them? I made him some noodles for dinner. You can heat them up and --
-I've got to get back to the --
-Hello...?
-Daniel Balint? My name's Guy Danielsen. I'm a reporter with the <i>New York Times</i>.
-I'm doing a piece on right-wing groups, post Oklahoma City. I hear you're an important figure in those circles. You have a lot of interesting ideas....
-Who told you that?
-Isn't it true?
-Who knows what that is?
-A Jewish prayer.
-Which was his room?
-Where's Mrs. Moebius?
-That was unbelievable what you did to Lucas. The guy's an animal.
-You could do it.
-Get out of here....
-Which one were you aiming at?
-What is it?
-Shut up. Fuck you....
-Open it up.
-This will be a different kind of device.
-That damn thing. You know how it made me look...?
-I'm sorry, Danny. It won't happen again. I'm going to use a brand-new power cell. Plus we'll have a back-up timer.
-I've gotta kill some Jews, Kyle. I'm serious. I'm always talking about it. This time it's gotta happen.
-What about Drake, did he ever show up?
-That's all we've got left.
-Didn't you get anything?
-Oh, what is this shit?
-Keep driving. Don't slow down.
-Not too fast.
-You said they didn't have night guards.
-They don't. I checked twenty times.... Somebody must have talked.
-Who even knew?
-Mrs. Moebius.
-Why? Why would she?
-The Manzetti thing must have scared her. She thinks she'll get implicated.
-Take a right on 59th... We'll put it someplace else.
-Where?
-If I went back to the lumberyard, the guy'd give me all the dynamite I wanted. Untraceable, you wouldn't -- need to...
-No, it has to be tomorrow. You won't get this many of them in here for another year. It'll be fine.
-It's not going to be fine. It's --
-When do you want it to go off?
-Seven-thirty tomorrow evening.
-Jeez, it's been since, what, Kenny's wedding.
-Yeah, uh... So how are you? What's going on?
-I'm in the rabbinic program at JTS...
-JTS...?
-What about you? What are you doing? Something strange, I bet.
-I'm in a kind of...underground...thing.
-Are you an artist?
-You remember Miriam....
-She's at Yale Law -- interning with the district attorney... We're getting married next spring. In Israel.
-Listen, Danny, you can't just barge in and --
-Danny, listen, people expect me to daven; they don't want someone they don't know -- leading their prayers.
-Lie on your stomach and come up on your elbows.
-Why me?
-Who'd you kill?
-How did you know they were Jews?
-I can tell....
-How?
-Shoot him in the head. Always shoot a Jew in the head.
-I'm a bad shot. I don't think I can --
-You missed on purpose.
-I didn't. I told you, I can't --
-And what did you do?
-What are you trying to say?
-You can't say that....
-SO THEY SHOT HIM! SO HE WAS DEAD. SO WHAT. HE'S WORSE THAN DEAD NOW. HE'S A PIECE OF SHIT...
-Okay, that's it. You're going back to --
-Where do you think you're going?
-It's Friday....
-The Torah says not to light a fire on the Sabbath, because it's work, correct? But if alternating current's running through the wires every second of every day, and I throw a switch, send it here instead of there, how is that lighting a fire?
-"Do chickens give milk?"
-Who's this?
-Dennis Leary.
-Leary?
-Howard Stern.
-Adam Sandler.
-Funny?
-Not like Mr. Dorfmann.
-After your mother died, that's when you stopped going to shul. Doing your homework. Everything.
-And that's when the Mets started to stink.
-'Cause they got rid of Johnson. He knew how to deal with the assholes. Dallas Green, please...
-There's some maple walnut in the freezer.
-Linda says you're not supposed to have dairy.
-We want you to help run it. Give speeches, lead seminars... Handle the fund-raising.
-Fund-raising??
-I'm not an intellectual.... I mean, I read, but... Fund-raising isn't what I...
-Do you have a suit? Let's get him one.... And a cell phone too. And if you insist on blowing up a synagogue, make it that big one on Fifth Avenue, would you?
-Beth Shalom? It's Reform.
-So what?
-They're not that Jewish.
-We tested the new bomb.
-What?
-We redesigned the timing mechanism. It can't possibly malfunction.
-Are you out of your mind?!
-Do you think I...
-May He cause the light of His countenance to shine upon you and be gracious unto you....
-Eat shit....
-...May you be blessed in your going forth as you were in your coming....
-EAT SHIT, ASSHOLES....
-Oh, fuck you...
-...You're saying that when he first appeared at your house, you had no idea he was Jewish....
-None whatsoever. But I have to admit, I'm not terribly surprised.
-What do you mean?
-In the Third Reich, weren't a number of high-ranking Nazis of Jewish origin?
-Yes, and they were said to be the most virulent proponents of the Final Solution. Really, who but a Jew would want to kill Ilio Manzetti simply because he was Jewish? Who thinks about such things?
-The papers are going to report tomorrow that your colleague, Curtis Zampf, has been a federal informant for the past two years. Do you believe that?
-Curtis is always more complicated than he seems. Even now.
-You're going to live here permanently?
-He's shy, not like Enzo.
-Yes. Not like Enzo.
-I think, he's really nice... He's a funny guy... sometimes even very moving.
-Are you going to keep it?
-Yes.
-Does he know?
-No.
-Maybe you should talk to him about it.
-I was thinking of something kinda stupid last night. You know those women in the greek mythology that made love with the Gods. Take Leda for example, sleeping with Jupiter, who came to earth as a swan... Well, can you imagine Leda announcing to her swan "You're going to be a father, my little chick-a-dee"?
-But your man isn't quite a God!
-Probably not, but I still don't have the nerve to tell him.
-And you...? Do you love Enzo?
-You're leaving?
-Yes... Could you please give this to Enzo.
-Bonita, you shouldn't be discouraged so easily.
-Did you tell him?
-Not yet... I'm waiting for the right moment.
-This is good work... unfortunately it's incomplete. Could you eat a sandwich 40 floors above the street.
-What kind?
-Johana, am I boring you?
-Sorry. Of course not, definitely not... well, maybe a little. What did you say?
-Did the driver really freeze?
-Like a popsicle. They're keeping him on a stick until spring.
-My God! I'm glad I didn't go.
-Listen, I just found out we've got real problems in Sicily!
-What d'you mean?
-What's happened??
-The documents are forged.
-No!
-Yes! The notary is a phony. He has the same signature as the contractor!
-It can't be true!
-We have to send somebody over there immediately! If we prove the forgery we can cancel the policy. We'll be off the hook. There's a flight to Rome in two hours and from there its just a short hop to Sicily.
-I'll send Cardoza, he'll be able to...
-I tried him, he can't go. His son is being Bar Mitzvohed tomorrow... I'll go, boss.
-I thought it was Spanish that you spoke?
-Good afternoon.
-I came to make a clean breast of everything... the whole business.
-Yes. Of course. Very wise.
-Remember when I went to Italy and canceled the policy on the new stadium. Well, we weren't being cheated by the Mafia or anybody except maybe by me... ... Do they come for lunch everyday? I really went on my own business, to see a man that I happen to be in love with... and I'm glad I did it, but I'm sorry about
-You're right. You're fired.
-Will that interfere with my getting maternity leave? I'm pregnant.
-The Italian, I presume?
-No. He's French, he was just in Italy for the competition.
-He seems to have won it.
-I tell you she's mine!
-Hello!
-You know each other?
-Yes.
-This is a great pleasure.
-I wish, but it's full. They recommended a pension in town. They say that all of Taormina is full. What's going on here?
-A spaghetti del mare for the super dedicated traveling insurance agent.
-Where did you two meet?
-In a lake.
-I might have known. As I was telling you earlier, I'm the world champion free diver.
-Congratulations.
-A new world record! That's great! It gives me something to beat tomorrow! You ever been to Tahiti?
-No.
-You forgot the Hula!
-Yes, of course, I'll do the Hula!
-He looks strange, doesn't he? Like a baby that just learned to walk.
-Have you known him long?
-Forever. We used to live on the same island in Greece, when we were kids.
-What was he like, when he was little?
-Little. Very little. And skinny, very skinny too. That is compared to me.
-I get it, Enzo you were a superior child.
-And just where are you from?
-Huh? Well listen to him! Do you hear that?
-No.
-He looks me in the eye like some fuckin' gold fish, and says: "I'm going to beat you".
-... That's what he's here for, isn't he?
-Tonight we're having a little party among ourselves. 8 o'clock in my suite?
-... It's easy. You go down. You come up. ... Right, Johana?
-Congratulations, Enzo.
-And the lights! Running lights, stealing stretchers...! You'll have us in jail.
-Well, good night, then...
-You going to sleep here, all by yourself?
-... It's a comfortable place.
-Sinister is what I'd call it...! Ours is so much cheerful! Why don't you come and stay with me... There's plenty of room in my suite.
-The Mamma's there too.
-Yes, the Mamma is is there.
-Is it a poem?
-Jacques! Johana!
-Okay, now we have a good five minutes to have a nice peaceful talk.
-What are you doing here?
-Checking out the competition.
-Enzo, why do you guys do this?
-What else is there?
-You risk your life when you cross the street.
-Damn it! Why won't you give me a straight answer, for once?!
-Because you'd laugh.
-I won't, I swear.
-A little... You think it's the same for Jacques?
-No. Jacques is a creature of the sea. He isn't meant to live on earth, among us... You should know this, Johana.
-He can learn. He is learning.
-You really think so? Did you tell him you were pregnant?
-How do you know that?
-... Not yet.
-Don't.
-Why?
-Because he won't understand and it will just hurt you... Jacques has been put on earth by complete mistake. And he's only waiting for one thing: that some God up there will turn him into a fish! How long has that moron been down there?
-Five minutes and fifty seconds.
-Is he alright? What happened?
-How did it happen?
-The company asked me to extract everything I could from the wreck; so the divers were trying to get at the engine... and then the boat turned over... in the current... and... look, I fucked up! Can you help?
-Ten thousand.
-Lira?
-Dollars.
-In my village, we have a saying: when the wind blows, the flags of all nations flap in the same direction.
-Roberto? How long?
-Enzo, what are you going to do with the money?
-Have the car painted.
-Santini will do that for 25 dollars!
-Then tell him to wax it too.
-Enzo, really. What are you going to get?
-Yes?
-What about the shoes?
-Enzo, wake up!
-The medics are looking all over for you.
-Where did you get that?
-Is he here?
-Plenty of women everywhere right?
-Smoking is absolutely forbidden.
-It isn't lit yet.
-You shouldn't even carry cigarettes on board!
-Listen we're not supposed to piss either but that doesn't stop you from carrying "it" on board?!
-The rules are the rules.
-... What's your name again?
-Noireuter.
-And where did you say you were from?
-What's with the voice?
-It's nothing. It's just the helium, because of the air pressure.
-And... does the voice come back?
-For others, yes... For you, who knows?
-Is that alcohol? Are you out of your mind? Alcohol is strictly forbidden.
-Well, if it isn't the little Frenchman! How is the little Frenchman?
-You don't mind if I go instead, do you?
-No...
-Jacques, my friend, how are you?
-That's good. You never would have recognized me, huh? Check out the suit! Looking good, no? You know I'm the world champion?
-Yes, I know.
-I dove 315 feet!
-Great!
-Why?
-Because I'm sure you're dying to beat me.
-I don't want to be in any competition... I dive because I like to, not to beat a record... don't you have to be very mad at somebody to want to beat him?
-No. All you need is to want to be the best.
-You're the best, Enzo!
-I remember. Hi Roberto!
-What room have you got?
-I don't have one.
-You don't have a room? Paolo? What did I just hear? I personally called you to reserve a room for my good friend Jacques Mayol and you treat him like a stranger?!
-It's okay, Enzo. I'll go somewhere else.
-Not only is Jacques Mayol a very special friend, but he happens to be one of the best divers in the world! And you're throwing him out! Are you crazy, or what? Stupido!
-... So, after all these years, you must have lots of questions to ask. Am I right?
-Well, what are they?
-That's good.
-How do you make a living? Your experiments, does it pay well?
-It's okay.
-No.
-So, not married. Well, good for you. You play the field, like me. A girl in every port, huh?
-Exactly, I mean, after all, we're men!
-Damn right! That's what I tell them when people say you've turned into a fish.
-People say that?
-No, no!
-Not at all!
-Enzo?
-What?
-Your mother?
-Madame...
-C'mon, you two... Jacques, we have to get ready for the ceremony tonight. We have a new world champion.
-I'm a little tired, I don't know if...
-No.
-Why?
-Today at lunch, you asked me if I had any questions.
-Ah ha. You finally want to know about women.
-Why? Are they what's most important?
-No... It depends... Sometimes they are... What, exactly do you want to know?
-... Everything.
-Everything about what?
-Why?
-Two years younger than you.
-As I said, second of all you're too skinny. You've got tiny lungs. I still don't understand how you can dive without getting sick.
-The size of the lungs has nothing to do with it!
-Tell me, why don't you go and get your medal?
-No, I have to ask you a favor... You're the only one who'll understand.
-Hey! Will you slow down! When did you learn how to drive?
-Good night.
-You don't need a stretcher to take her with you. You know that, don't you?
-What?
-Here... Here...
-What is it?
-You still collect them?
-Yes.
-You don't have that one, do you?
-No. Thank you. It's really beautiful.
-Can I come in?
-He doesn't like us.
-... I was seventeen, I loved her so much I tried to die for her. Two years later I couldn't even remember her name! Let me tell you, time erases everything!
-I don't want to erase anything.
-You'd rather think about it and make yourself miserable?
-... Yes.
-I give you this. You're stubborn... Dumb, but stubborn.
-Anybody can have a bad day!
-I've had many... when the sea doesn't want you.
-Enzo, Enzo! Congratulations!
-That's good.
-... How long was I asleep?
-I'm concentrating.
-It's not safe, they say. The doctors say it isn't possible to go deeper and live. Free diving is over as a sport.
-You say that because you have the title!
-No! I would never cheat you.
-You were right.
-... I was right about what?
-... Push me back in the water...
-I can't.
-Don't you have a heater?
-Yeah... Sure... Is this your first trip to Peru?
-A drink to warm up?
-Yes, thank you. Intravenous if possible.
-Tea... or whiskey?
-Would it be out of place to ask what he's doing?
-Who?
-I recognize you.
-We saw each other a little while ago.
-In the lake?
-Please, have a seat.
-But what brought you to Sicily?
-No, no. You'll like it. It's superb.
-Thanks for helping with the bag. It looks great!
-I thought it was a nice place. Isn't it?
-You're going to be very busy these days aren't you?
-I don't know... why?
-Yes... Maybe... I don't know. I don't like competitions... It ruins the fun. Don't you think?
-I guess... But you know... I'm American and I've mostly been taught to be competitive... There's always pleasure of being the best?
-I thought you'd be at the dinner.
-You look adorable.
-Thank you...
-Please move slowly, you're rocking the boat.
-Lucky I was there to save you.
-You jumped in?
-Only to help the medics, I assure you.
-No. I want to show you. Is it ruined?
-Well, water isn't exactly the best thing for pictures... Not even for pictures of dolphins...
-Just checking up on your family. I guess I was drunker than I thought and the idea of going back to my hotel in a wet dress... Well...
-I'm glad you stayed. Thank you.
-I'd better get back now.
-... No?
-How can you tell it's a female?
-She's not like the others. She can't stand to be away from the sea.
-How do you know that?
-Can I come watch you dive tomorrow?
-Jacques, you set a world record.
-I did?
-I'm going back home.
-Why?
-Because one shouldn't fall in love with creatures from the sea.
-I'm not from the sea... I don't understand what you're talking about.
-Yes you do. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're afraid I want to hold onto you, and I do, but you're not ready... at least not for me.
-Hello?
-How are you?
-I got fired.
-So have I. ... Hello?
-I'm still here.
-Well, then, talk to me some more.
-... It's hard you know. You're so far away and I don't know what else to say.
-Then, tell me a story.
-Do you know how it is? Do you know what you're supposed to do to meet a mermaid?
-No... tell me.
-Hello?
-I'm being a pain, huh?
-... Not at all.
-You sure?
-Absolutely positive.
-Why did you take me to the hotel, if you live here.
-Bonjour Monsieur... Louis.
-Uncle Louis. He's a 75 year old amazing guy, isn't he?
-And you?
-I didn't dive.
-You'll try again tomorrow?
-What?
-What are you doing?
-Jacques...?
-What's wrong?
-It's nothing. Just the long trip. I'm a little jet-lagged.
-You want to lie down for a while?
-... When you dive... with that machine... What does it feel like?
-... The feeling of slipping without falling... The hardest is once you are at the bottom.
-Why?
-You've got to tell me what happened?
-Jacques? I'm pregnant.
-That's good... that's wonderful. It's wonderful for you.
-Promise me one thing.
-Anything.
-Mayol... Mayol... No reservation.
-... Are you sure?
-This is the hotel San Domenico?
-Yes Sir, and it has been so for 127 years.
-Yes, but... So, you haven't got a room left?
-No Sir, the hotel is full because of the Diving championship.
-You shouldn't dive everyday, Papa.
-Hey! Have you ever seen a mermaid?
-Why don't you ask me?
-What?
-Assassin!
-Uncle Louis, this is my friend Johana.
-Did you buy the cassettes? The Wagner, the Berlioz?
-I brought Johana to meet you.
-Are you crazy? I have no use for a woman! Since my accident.
-Where are you from, Henrietta?
-Johana... New York.
-What kind of name is that? To be named after a city?
-Uncle Louis!
-Good. That way I'll see more of you... Where are you going to stay?
-Well... here.
-In my apartment?
-It's my apartment.
-Liar! Thief! Torturer! When you were an orphan I nursed you at my breast.
-Uncle Louis, we have a guest!
-Uncle Louis, you remember Enzo's mother Signora Molinari from Amorgos?
-What were Italians doing living in Greece anyway?
-Louis, we were French!
-I changed the lock you son of a bitch!
-You're back! Hello. We were burgled.
-Again?
-... And the new stereo.
-I hope they remembered to take the microwave this time?
-Yep. How was your trip...? Help me clean up, okay?
-You called the police?
-Well?
-What?
-How was your trip?
-Nice... Very interesting... Great! ... I guess.
-It's his heartbeat.
-I thought you said he was Peruvian?
-... Since eight o'clock last night...! You're in love.
-... And if we repaint the walls, we'll need new curtains, you put the painters on you Visa and I'll do the curtains on American Express... for the couch there's Bloomingdales... or are you still over your limit?
-Way past it.
-Does that have a hidden meaning?
-No. I'm just depressed.
-You look it too. You haven't been working out, you haven't been taking your vitamins! You haven't been drinking your herbs, you haven't been...
-I know, I know! I'm a terrible person... It's... I'm so damn, damn sad.
-What is it honey... the frenchy?
-Do you think I should have stayed? Don't you think maybe I should have stayed? I've been a jerk, right? I should have stayed! I was supposed to be in love... I was in love! I am in love, why did I act like a bitch? He went swimming. All the man did was go swimming! I must be crazy. It was too good
-What are they for?
-They're paramedics. They wait at 180 feet.
-If there was a problem, they could do something right?
-... And those?
-Those are the divers who go down 300 to 330 feet. They dive with a Helium-oxygen mixture. At that depth, compressed air is too dangerous because it contains carbon dioxide.
-What's that little air bottle on the machine?
-That isn't for the divers actually. It's for the balloon. It blows up and pulls the diver up like an elevator. Without it, with the pressure at the bottom, the diver would just stay pinned to the sea bed.
-But doesn't Jacques dive without anything?
-Who... Who is that?
-Mayol... Jacques Mayol.
-... The truck fell into a very deep crevasse. We weren't able to save the equipment.
-I'll have to talk to the driver.
-My dear, science is a cruel mistress.
-But... how is he going to breathe?
-He's in the fluoroscope now. Listen to his heart. Impressive, huh? The flow of blood is concentrated in the brain and doesn't even feed the limbs anymore. It's a phenomena that has only been observed with dolphins... until now.
-How long can he stay down? Without breathing?
-It depends. He should come up soon. Unless he's decided to stay for the night.
-Why is he doing this?
-Shouldn't somebody take him a blanket or something?
-Will he understand Spanish?
-Okay, listen, just get the custom's office to send me a copy as fast as possible. We can't send you new equipment until our file is complete. Okay?
-Okay, okay. You'll have it by the end of the week, how's that?
-You've made me a happy insurance person.
-Wait! Professor...?
-I'll go see how he's doing.
-Alright Mordechai, now that we're alone I just want to say that I'm not happy about this. I don't want a repeat of that incident in the West Bank.
-I got the job done didn't I? I did what I had to do.
-A settlement completely demolished, ten smashed army jeeps, four dead Arabs. G dash D damn it, Hammer! You think you're above the Ten Commandments? Just find Santa Claus and bring him back to us. No heroics, got it?
-I guess I could be chalant about it, but then again I'm not even sure if that's a word. Listen Chief, we could stand around arguing all day, but I gotta case to crack.
-What's your first move?
-Chief, it's me. Listen carefully. I need for the Worldwide Jewish Media Conspiracy to mass produce video copies of every Hollywood movie ever made featuring a positive Jewish protagonist as its lead.
-You mean you want us to make copies of Yentl, Fiddler On The Roof, and Chaim Potok's The Chosen?
-It was a trap. I'm back at square one.
-Well, then I've got good news for you. We just got word that he'll be making an appearance at the Mall Of America today. I'm sending Esther to meet you there at once.
-Good thinking. We'll disguise ourselves as a Gentile couple to pass undetected. Now that he thinks I'm dead, this should be a piece of homentashen.
-Mordechai. Thank god you're here.
-What's up?
-Looks like I got a plane to catch.
-Take Esther with you, you'll need the backup.
-So why the long face?
-It's Esther. Santa's got her.
-Please. Will you help me?
-There won't be any need for that sir.
-Hammer, the fate of my daughter rests solely in your hands.
-So. Do you have a name?
-It's Esther.
-You like my Mordechai, yes?
-Hanukkah, Shmanukkah. It isn't even one of the high holidays. What concerns me more is that my boychick is almost thirty, and has yet to settle down with a nice Jewish girl. I'll make you a deal. I'll help you with your little Hanukkah problem if you help me with my Mordechai.
-What do you want me to do?
-Well, for starters, we're going to honeymoon in Boca for a week. And then, when we get back, Morty's been talking about taking a stable, good paying job as a consultant for the JDL.
-Mr. Jefferson Carver?
-Please, call me Mordechai.
-From the way she carried herself I could tell she'd been around the block a few times...
-Client notes. Sorry. What can I do for you?
-My name is Esther. Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal from the Jewish Defense League desperately needs to speak with you.
-How is old Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal? Is he still shtooping every girl he can get his hands on?
-Your mother? Oh. Whoops.
-Mordechai, Santa Claus has been rubbed out by his son Damian. The man's a demon. There's no telling what this new anti semitic psycho Santa is capable of.
-Oy vey, I'm stuffed.
-Any sign of Santa?
-What are we going to do? We're at least an hour from the front.
-That got annoying fairly quickly.
-So, now what?
-Want to get a drink?
-What was that!?
-What!?
-I said, yeah, about once a week!
-Sorry. I'm better with men.
-Maybe we should try a different kind of dancing.
-Mordechai?
-Yes Esther.
-I want you to talk dirty to me.
-I want for our children to go to private schools and take music lessons. Little Abraham will go to Stanford for college, Batya will go Ivy League, maybe Vassar.
-Keep going.
-Also, on a daily basis, I want you to tell me what to do, where to do it, and how I should live my life.
-Your mother was right. You do work too hard.
-When did you guys have this conversation? When I was in the bathroom? What else did she have to say?
-Oh my god. She's become my pimp. And she's whoring her bitch-son out to the highest bidder.
-We do!
-What are you doing here?
-Mordechai, I love you. I couldn't let you do this alone.
-I love you too. I'm sorry about freaking out yesterday. I was wrong.
-Esther!
-Esther!
-You two know each other?
-Shabat Shalom mama. I brought some Manischewitz. The black label.
-Mordechai. Do you love your mother?
-Mom, I have a real job. I do good things for this community. I help people.
-When I play bridge with all the girls, everyone has what to talk about with their sons. They show pictures. Their sons are lawyers and doctors and Rabbis. Why can't I show a picture?
-So don't show a picture.
-I don't want to argue with you. Let's just eat in peace.
-No. No. We're gonna argue. And you know what mom? I'm going to save Hanukkah just to spite you. And when my face is all over the television. When your friends are opening their Hanukkah gifts next year, don't mention it to them, okay? I wouldn't want you to have to show my picture.
-Let's let your tuchus breathe.
-...and the opportunity to help my brothers and sisters in the Jewish community.
-...and their children will all be able to eat latkes and spin dreidels, and light the menorah with the knowl...
-Well I have news for you mom. It is good enough...I'm good enough and I won't leave here until I hear you tell me...
-Hello Mazel Tov! A boojee boojee boojee boo...
-Mom! We're eating!
-Happy Hanukkah Tikva.
-Okay, what's the information?
-Anything else?
-But we're not open on Sundays.
-I understand that. I just thought that you might want to know.
-So Morde-chai, tell me, what brings your bad self down to the KLF?
-I'm back on the job for the JDL. You hear about that crazy white boy who took over as Santa?
-Actually, I...I don't. What does that mean?
-Oh. It means that Santa's gonna fuck Hanukkah's shit up.
-You watch your back Hammer. Hanukkah might just be his first move. For all we know Kwanzaa could be next. There's a lot of brothers counting on you. If you fail...
-Okay, look. I'm going to work really, really hard on this one. But, please stop with the pressure. I'm already tense as it is.
-What's wrong with him?
-It's gonna be tough, but the back entrance looks like our best bet.
-Cool. What's it do?
-Man, that's far out! Hey, the Jets won!
-Porno? You're tellin' me that you can get porno on that thing?
-What are you doing?
-Wait! Before we enter, you need to know that my research has determined that Santa's compound is wired with the XP 2000 stereo type alarm system.
-A stereo type alarm system?
-How do we bypass it?
-Listen cat, I'll have you know that I hate the taste of watermelon and am a terrible basketball player.
-What are you doing?
-Hammer, you alright?
-Sorry folks, I don't do couples.
-If you keep your mouth shut and come with me, you won't get hurt.
-Let me guess, you're the goy who stole Hanukkah.
-What's your shpiel, Santa?
-What are you doing?
-Hey everybody. How's it hangin'?
-Where's my girlfriend Santa?
-I shlepped all the way to the North Pole for this? I come to fight you, and you don't even put out anything to nosh on? What kind of arch nemesis are you?
-So, what's our first plan of attack Santa?
-What should I charge?
-So what's in the boxes? Heroin? Cocaine?
-Bootleg copies of the Frank Capra classic, 'It's A Wonderful Life.'
-So, how was I?
-I wasn't too over the top?
-No, it was the perfect level.
-You okay?
-No. I'm airsick you asshole! Where the hell did these reindeer learn to fly?
-Get off of me you cripple!
-What's going on? Why'd he stop?
-Maybe he ran out of ammo.
-Well, he's kinda just resting in the corner with his girlfriend.
-What day is it?
-You want me to be nice to him for no apparent reason whatsoever, buy him clothing he'll never wear, and for just one day of the year pretend to forgive him for all the horrible things he did to me as a young boy when my mommy wasn't looking?
-Is someone with you -- can I get you a drink?
-My son—in—law. What do you think of him?
-When you marry champagne, Clo-Clo, you can't trade it in for beer. You're stuck with it.
-I can't understand that fancy talk. You mean I'm a gold-digger? Sure, I'm a gold-digger -- why not?
-Maybe I should just forget all about money - - forget about mamma and the kids and the rent, huh - marry some poor dope like -- oh, like Carlos Dominguez - - and get fat and —-
-Nobody. A boy who works in a grocery.
-Good looking?
-Mmm———yes.
-Is he in love with you?
-Why do you ask so many questions? What difference does it make how Carlos and I feel? Feeling does not buy clothes and houses!
-This is for "mama and the kids."
-What about me?
-Here is something that should interest Charlie - a stone leopard head made by his ancestors some six hundred years ago. They used it in ceremonies. The jaguar -- in fact all the cat family -- were considered the personification of force and violence in their religious rites.
-Well, Charlie, just why do you think your cat didn't kill the Contreras girl?
-You know -- not scared enough. Nothing to scare it.
-Oh, I'm only exploring your theory. Let's take a step further. You drink, don't you, Charlie?
-I drink.
-Then what do you do?
-I sleep it off.
-But between the time you leave the cant ma and fall into bed in that old truck of yours, what happens, Charlie?
-I don't know.
-Now I know I didn't hurt nobody when I was drunk - -
-Of course, not, Charlie. I never thought you did.
-Can't make a buck without my leopard. I tell you, Mr. Manning, you gotta find that cat for me -- or pay up.
-Look, Charlie, just be patient. I'll fix everything. You don't want that cat, anyway. It killed two people.
-No, sir. That girl in the cemetery? My cat didn't kill that girl. I told you cats don't go around looking for trouble. If that cat's alive, it's out in the country hiding under a bush, starving to death.
-You really think so, Charlie?
-That cat ain't mean. I feed him out of my own hand for six years. Why don't he kill me? At night in the truck, I let him out of the cage. When I am falling asleep I hear him walking back and forth. I go to sleep. He don't hurt me.
-They all say the cat killed this second girl.
-They don't say it to me.
-I'd like one of them to say it to you, Charlie. I'd like to have you hear his side of it his reasons. Want to hear them?
-Sure.
-Where's that man?
-Sure, I like my leopards
-Sure!
-Charlie wasn't drunk last night.
-I'm sick.
-Here have a cigarette. He was only kidding.
-I don't know. I want to see Robles.
-What do you want to see him for?
-I want him to lock me up.
-Look, Charlie, you didn't do it, and you know you didn't.
-Two hundred and fifty dollars you owe met
-What's left of him.
-North -- in an arroyo, Shot through the head —- maybe week ago. No good, skin, everything gone ——
-And here is Three Tree Mesa -- and here I go out of the big arroyo --
-It's a blackcard and bad card, but not the card of the cat -— not the card of four—footed things.
-I saw Teresa. Maybe I was the last to see her except perhaps her Mamacita and her little brother. I was going past --
-) They buried Teresa today and they were hunting the leopard again -- out in the country this time. But they didn't get him.
-They're fools. Why don't they let Charlie How-Come hunt it alone. He's an Indian.
-What did they say before the bad card came up?
-You'll meet a rich man and he will give, you money.
-You and your cards. Meet a rich man! I look for them with money. What rich man hasn't money. And for what was I born if it wasn't for money? You're not telling me anything.
-Well -- did he give you a lot of money?
-Who?
-Cut.
-Something black —- something on its way to you ——
-Don't look at it!
-The death card - -
-See you tomorrow —-
-He will be waiting...
-You must say that you went to take some of the roses to your father's grave...
-Pedro is waiting for me, too.
-Rosita —— I have wondered -—
-What, senorita?
-Love is different for different people.
-It may sound like music to her -- I can do better with my teeth in a cold Shower. Click — click — click.
-She's a local. When the dudes come out to New Mexico, they went to wallow in Latin glamour. This is a bad town for blondes.
-Yes. So I've noticed. Jerry's noticed -— He'll come up with something.
-You think be's pretty nice, don't you?
-Why not? He's a good press agent and a good friend. Besides, we've shared a lot of headaches ——
-You're lucky. I wish he'd front page for me.
-I mean you being a star and me being just a cigarette girl.
-And if you've got cold feet honey, Ill take over for you. That red dress of yours fits just perfect on me.
-Oh, dear -- I don't know what I'm going to do without you - honestly, I don't ——
-Hey —— I'm over here.
-Oh, Mr. Galbraith! I'm so glad you're here.
-Good evening.
-You know all about these things - - and I've lived here all my life —- and I still don't know what the Procession means.
-It's to remind people of the great tragedy that took place here so that they won't ever forget that a peaceful village of Indians was wiped out by the Conquistadores, back in the 17th Century... A band of monks buried the dead and prayed for them and did penance for their deaths —— that's what this procession is supposed to be.
-Oh, that's so interesting!
-Show business?
-Well, I'd best be off.
-It's about the leopard.
-You're worrying about its killing someone else?
-Yes. I want to go out and patrol the town - be everywhere at once - be sure nothing happens to anybody.
-Of course. It's the way any decent man would feel in your position.
-You know about animals -- their habits -- will it come back?
-There is no danger at all. It's a wild animal. Do you think a wild animal prefers walls, streets and people when it can get into open country?
-That's right, of course.
-Doc -- something you said the other day --
-Yes?
-It doesn't jibe with this —— you told me the leopard would go out into the country —- it wouldn't stay in the city ——
-Sure -- certainly —- but what's that got to do with this?
-That's what I don't understand -- why should it come here -- and why didn't it stay here? It's got trees and bushes here -- outside nothing but cement and asphalt.
-Jerry, I talked to you about the habits of an ordinary wild leopard. This leopard is another matter entirely - - a caged animal travelling around with Charlie How Come for years and years.. That's why it kills human beings.
-Why?
-It doesn't know how to hunt its natural prey.
-But it doesn't eat what it kills.
-Just a minute, Robles. Let him go on.
-You know Charlie How-Come?
-Come to look around?
-More or less.
-Charlie and I were talking. That's one reason I wanted to see you.
-About Charlie's leopard?
-Charlie doesn't think the leopard killed the girl in the cemetery.
-It could be a man.
-There are all sorts of men. You get to see some funny ones as a reporter.
-I can understand what you mean - demented men, pathological cases. But what sort of man would kill like a leopard and leave the traces of a leopard?
-Some crazy guy.
-We had given up digging in a certain barrow. I went back and I tried again. I just had a hunch.
-A hunch -- that's all I've got about this leopard thing. It's just a hunch, yet I feel it deep in the stomach. It was a man!
-Yes, but what sort of a man?
-I don't know.
-Come on, Charlie. Let's go find another and better suspect.
-Don't you want to see the rest of the exhibit?
-You must admit it's possible that it might have been a man.
-You know a lot. You've taken a lot of fancy courses in colleges and that kind of stuff - - what kind of a man would kill like that?
-But all those fancy courses were about the dead, Jerry, not the living.
-Yes. There have been men who kill for pleasure -- strange pleasure. There was Blue Beard in France -- Jack The Ripper in London. It's not uncommon.
-If there were a man like that, with a kink in his brain around here loose, what would he be like.
-To the eye? Like other men.
-I don't mean that. How would he act? What would he do?
-He'd act normally when he was with other people. It would be a man who suffered remorse and even pity when it was all over.
-Couldn't you tell a man like that when you saw him?
-No. He would be a hard man to find, Jerry. Particularly if he were a clever men. He would go about his ordinary business calmly and coolly except when the fit to kill was on him.
-It was you, Galbraith!
-No.
-It was you.
-Not! I tell you. No!
-You shot the leopard. We know that. You killed Consuelo. You killed Clo Clo. Then tonight --
-I didn't do anything. She screamed. Something frightened her.
-Consuelo screamed too -- and Clo Clo. Why did you do it? Why? Quick. Tell me why?
-It's better you don't know.
-Tell me.
-Tormented -- ? Why?
-I couldn't rest —- I couldn't sleep. All I could see was Teresa Delgado's body -- broken --mangled. I saw it day and night. It was waiting everywhere I turned.
-Then you found the leopard --
-Jerry told me you were an expert with animals, Mr. Galbraith. Couldn't you tell where it went?
-What do you do now?
-Why did you give up teaching?
-So you see meeting you is a real thrill for me.
-Well, I'm hardly Mrs. Leslie Carter —whoever she was. In fact, I'm not even much of a success around here particularly after the backfire on Jerry's little publicity stunt with the leopard.
-That was unfortunate.
-Well, I'm next. You won't hear anything like that, Mr. Galbraith. I'm not a popular favorite since I let the leopard loose.
-I'm sure if you are as talented as you are charming, Miss Walker, you have nothing to worry about.
-I've disturbed you. I'm sorry -
-Of course. Only I'm afraid you'll be cheated. There isn't much of a view of the procession here.
-I thought they came right past here ——
-Wait ——
-You can go now, Manning. There is no way we can hold you legally responsible.
-I haven't done any posse work since last time I rode with Toni Mix at the old Bijou Theatre -- aged six, If you're interested,
-Go on foot.
-That's why it just mauls and tears at them.
-Something's wrong with this whole setup --
-Yes, there is something wrong. People who want publicity and don't mind how they get it --what risks they make other people run - - what agony and sorrow they bring to other people --
-What are you getting at?
-I've been trying to tell him, Sheriff. He won't listen to me.
-Let me get one thing clear. Did Galbraith make a direct accusation?
-State hunters?
-Yes. The lipstick.
-Why?
-Chief, don't you understand what this means?
-You think Galbraith found the leopard on the day you went out with the posse.
-Galbraith knows something. He as good as said so ——
-That's a fact, isn't it?
-You won't go to Galbraith with me?
-Get it out of here!
-Kiki -- he won't hurt you. There's nothing to be afraid of.
-Makes no difference. Get him out!
-Listen, Kicks, you'll never guess what I've cooked up this tine...
-That's easy. Me.
-I thought -- is Kiki just going to walk on that floor tonight ——walk out cold before a bunch of gawks who think a Spanish twirler is the greatest thing in life. No. Not my favorite client. She's going to make an entrance this town will never forget!
-On his back, I suppose.
-No. I thought that might be just a little corny. I want you to lead him in on a leash.
-You're too good to me.
-Look, Kicks, have I ever done anything to hurt you?
-No —- not yet.
-And I never will- you know what's between us — we're a thing But this is serious competition.
-Get it out of here!
-Kiki - he won't hurt you. There's nothing to be afraid of.
-Makes no difference. Get him out.
-Listen, Kicks, you'll never guess what I've cooked up this time.
-That's easy. Me.
-I thought -— is Kiki just going to walk on that floor tonight walk out cold before a bunch of gawks who think a Spanish twirler is the greatest thing in life. No. Not my favorite client. She's going to make an entrance this town will never forget.
-On his back, I suppose.
-No. I thought that might be just a little corny. I want you to lead him in on a leash.
-You're too good to me.
-Look, Kicks, how long have we known each other?
-This is l939. Can't you subtract?
-Almost three years, isn't it? And have I ever done anything to hurt you?
-No —— not yet.
-And I never will -- you know what's between us -— we're a thing -- But this is serious -- big competition.
-Clo-Clo?
-You look swell in that three—alarm number --
-Are you all right?
-Suppose I slip them a few bucks — for the funeral expenses.
-I suppose he was trying to make me feel bad.
-Who was the other man?
-I don't know —— a witness. He seemed to know something about animals -- you know -- expert testimony.
-What did he have to do -— look at the body?
-Well, does everybody love us now? You've been gone long enough to soft—soap twenty editors!
-Yeah.
-It must be the altitude —— you, bucking around the countryside with a lot of boot—and—saddle boys --
-The whole town's in a state, Kiki ——doors locked, people huddling together like scared sheep ——nobody on the streets at night ——
-Our first real break -- and we throw wild animals at the audience
-Who is he?
-—— As long as my feet held out.
-I can use them.
-That was nice of Mr. Galbraith.
-Pretty. You know -- it's funny but flowers only mean one thing to me now.
-I know. Funerals.
-Jerry, these flowers aren't really for me ——
-You mean you want to take them to the cemetery.
-And she waited here for him?
-Why do you want to stay around here? It'll only make you feel badly.
-Maybe I want to feel badly.
-What else do you care about, Kicks?
-I'm glad you care about us, Kicks. Sometimes that gets kind of lost in the racket --
-Confession. I'm a complete softie. I've been conscience-stricken and worried sick ever since that leopard got away --
-Kiki -- it wasn't the leopard.
-You're positive of that, aren't you?
-You already know the answer to that. I want this town to be safe and happy again --
-Oh, by the way -- I'm out of cash --
-Didn't you take your cut out of the closing check?
-I got into a little crap game.
-As a matter of fact, I'm out of cash myself.
-What! You can't be --
-I -- I bought some silver jewelry and stuff from Eloise --
-Eloise doesn't own enough of anything to make a dent in your pay check, Kicks.
-All right, I'm not ashamed of it! I split it two ways —
-Half to the Delgado family and half to Clo-Clo's family.
-No. No, thanks. Now we've got to do it ourselves.
-Kiki?
-We stood here once before.
-I know -- Teresa -—
-I hated you that day —- you and your flip talk -— with that little girl lying dead.
-I know. What do you think I felt when you said, "don't be soft?"
-Jerry, I want you to be soft. You are soft -- inside -— where it matters. I wanted it that day too, but didn't dare tell you.
-It's a lovely town —- it was until we came and let the leopard loose and all this happened.
-Hot... These roads all round here, closed to the public... Why’s that? Military bases? Huh. I guess there’s space enough for war games... Must be good for business.
-Must it?
-All those soldiers out there... getting bored, thirsty. Come out here for refreshment or female company perhaps?
-Ain’t nobody out there, Mister.
-Nobody? Huh!... How come?
-Maybe for the same reason that made someone somewhere not consider this a spot to build the Getty Museum...
-Ha-ha... Yeah... What about that road back there, though? It says ‘closed to the public’, doesn’t it?
-That’s right.
-Will you please come with me?
-That might depend on where you’re going.
-I am Lawrence, sir. Mr and Mrs De Moraes’ majordomo. They are expecting you.
-De Moraes? I was asked here by a Mrs Spitz.
-Good afternoon. De Moraes’s residence.
-Could I speak to Carlos or Deborah?
-I’m afraid they are out at the moment, sir.
-When will they be back?
-By the way, Laurence, were you here last time your mistress’s brother came over? You know, just before he disappeared?
-I work here, sir. I’m here most of the time.
-You wouldn’t recall if the brothers-in-law left together, would you?
-You will have to ask Mr De Moraes that, sir. Would you like a drink while you wait?
-Mrs De Moraes must have taken it hard, eh? Her brother’s death.
-Now you know why you’re here, Mr Lombard. It might be difficult for someone like you to discern, but we are people of a certain standing.
-Appearances can be deceptive, Mrs De Moraes.
-Three weeks ago. To borrow money. I wasn’t here but he got to my husband, sold him some fancy story about an exhibition of his work and needing money to get new prints made. Carlos handed over £1,000 to get rid of him.
-And that is the last time any...
-What about you, Mrs De Moraes?
-I have too much money to work, Mr Lombard.
-Is that why your brother braved coming here to ask you for a loan?
-Perhaps it wasn’t so brave of him. Had I been here I just might have given him his money, Mr Lombard. One can reap rewards from the strangest of conduct, as someone in your line of work ought to know.
-I won’t comment on the time but you’ll understand if I don’t tell you to sit down. Now, spare me the apology and get to the point, will you, Mr Lombard.
-I’m afraid I have bad news, Mr De Moraes. I have reason to believe your brother’s in trouble.
-For your information, Mr Lombard, trouble is possibly the one thing Leon is capable of getting into all by himself. Though I doubt he will not ultimately fail even at that.
-I don’t know. He seems to delight in so much sisterly love, he might become determined.
-Oh-oh! Touché, Mr Lombard! But tell me, what would you know about sisterly love, eh? No. Don’t. You might get confused speaking of things you don’t understand and we need you clear- headed, at least until you’ve done what we are paying you for.
-Now you are confusing me, Mrs De Moraes.
-Can it be that easy?
-Can it be that you want your brother found?
-I found this at your brother’s.
-Disney! How inter...
-It’s a snuff movie. Prime paedophile material. I’m told it retails at around £4,000. I see you don’t require a definition.
-You... You found that at Leon’s?
-You seem surprised. Could it be you don’t think that badly of him after all? You needn’t worry. It seems his motives were pure. From what I can make out he bought the boy to rescue him from further abuse.
-What... What are you talking about?
-Your brother got mixed up with child procurers and tried to make this world a better place, Mrs De Moraes. And having rescued one little life he unwisely set out to repeat the exercise. You don’t mess around with child procurers. Right now my guess is he’s either on the run, held captive, or dead. I understand your misgivings, Mrs De Moraes. But I’ve
-Excuse me?
-I will of course do my best to hang onto it.
-Where is it? He. The boy you said my brother bought! Where is he?
-I can’t tell you that yet. But he’s being well looked after.
-Oh no. You’ll have to do better than that, Mr Lombard.
-How dare you... You don’t know this tape belongs to my brother, do you, Mr Lombard?
-The question now is whether or not your brother still owns anything, Mrs De Moraes.
-No. The question now is how long it’s going to take you to get out of here, Mr Lombard.
-Excuse me?
-Get out of my house. You’re fired, Mr Lombard.
-Perhaps I should come back when you’re...
-Laurence!
-The family hired you and I have just fired you, Mr Lombard.
-Why me, Mrs De Moraes? Why should such well-connected people as you hire a small- time French detective to look for their missing son, Mrs De Moraes?
-Huh! Who do you think we are, Mr Lombard?
-I still don’t buy your story but I figured it can’t do any harm to let you go on with your enquiry. Besides, if you do turn out to be nothing but a cheap little extortioner, we could always get the right people onto you. I trust you know who I am talking about.
-Thank you for coming. Come in and close the door, will you?
-You lost my money?
-You could say that. And Friedman left this morning for Los Angeles.
-Who is Friedman?
-The man who sold the boy to your brother.
-I’m impressed. That information could have cost me £20,000.
-Are we understood?
-You watched the tape? Friedman and his people don’t just provide little kids and videotapes, Mrs De Moraes. They’re in the import-export business. They run hotels here in London which they probably use as ware- houses and ports of call for their merchandise.
-Huh! Really? Hotels?
-Minimizes the risks. Children can be moved across borders using reliable businesses. These can also be used to move women and drugs... Anything that makes money really.
-You drive a hard bargain, Mr Lombard.
-Mr Lombard?
-Have you got a pen?
-Just a moment... Go ahead.
-The Mondrian, room 504. The number is 266 7548, plus the L.A. code...
-Are you all right?
-Yes... You woke me up... It’s the middle of the night here. Have you found Mr Friedman?
-Not yet. The place I hoped to find him turns out to be little more than a contact address. I’ll give it 24 hours. He just might show up. If you need to reach me ask for Mr Lamont. Paul Lamont, all right?
-Paul Lamont...?
-Mr Lombard. Mrs De Moraes...
-Mr Lombard...
-How are you, Mrs De Moraes?
-When did you get back?
-I’m really sorry you were not called...
-You’re repeating yourself, Mrs De Moraes.
-I... Well, we’re burying Leon tomorrow and... Look, I wish I had more time, but it’s late and with the funeral...
-Aren’t you curious to know about Friedman?
-Black suits you.
-Sorry?
-Or is it the other way round? The children are needed because you can’t satisfy him?
-You... You are out of order, Mr Lombard. I...
-How did you break into my office, Deborah? Ladies of your standing don’t learn to pick locks between shopping trips. Come on, Deborah! Acting dumb doesn’t suit you! Who knew I’d found dirt on your brother, huh? Who knew it was in an envelope? Taking me for dead, who’d want to make sure it didn’t fall into the wrong hands?
-You’re mad...
-I’ve had a long and unpleasant day. I’m tired and I’m angry. But mad? Not yet. I paid Leon’s boy a visit this morning. Found him alive and well. Why haven’t you told your husband where he is since reading my note, eh?
-Why... I don’t know what you’re talking about.
-You know he’d have had him killed, don’t you? Does a conscience still burn somewhere inside your sore mind, Deborah? Or is it just cold expediency? Could the boy perhaps come in useful when and if the day ever comes for you to face up to the man you married?
-Have you finished?
-You do have a vivid imagination, Mr Lombard. I only wish you’d use it fruitfully instead of in being obnoxious. I fail to understand your purpose in this. Still, say what you’re owed if you still wish to be paid or get out, all right?
-Whatever the reason, I’m sorry I did. Goodbye, Mr Lombard. I believe you know your way out.
-You knew he had nothing to do with your brother’s disappearance, didn’t you?
-Huh! Don’t you recall convincing me he had? You should learn to live with your mistakes, Mr Lombard. There is some merit in it.
-I take it you learnt to live with yours then. Take it all the mind-dulling pills in your medicine cabinet are surplus to your well-being...
-How... When did you...
-Tell me, did he kill his little victims too?
-What do you mean, ‘No’, Mrs De Moraes?
-My brother hung himself.
-Does the name Pierre Dreyer mean anything to you? He’s a client of mine and a friend of your husband.
-Leon hung himself.
-Adonis thought your brother’s body’d be found reasonably quickly when he hung it in Epping Forest, didn’t he? Seemed like a good idea. An ex-junkie, obsessed with death; the perfect candidate for suicide. He just forgot one thing: forest ramblers are rare during your average blustery English November. An Englishman might have thought of that, but a Brazilian...
-Leon hung himself...
-Leon’s not found, your parents worry, talk of hiring help to find him, even mention their manhunter friends perhaps... and Adonis panics, takes control, brings me in reckoning a small- time detective is unlikely to dig up anything awkward, not before Leon’s found anyhow. He must have kicked himself when he learned I’d exceeded his expectations.
-Leon hung himself...
-I doubt Friedman ever even met Leon, Deborah. Friedman dealt with select customers. As for my envelope, had he know where it was he wouldn’t have mistaken me for a hitman called Lamont when we met in Los Angeles.
-...You-you spoke to him?
-Your brother stumbled upon Adonis’s little secret, didn’t he? And traded his silence for a kid and some cash. And Adonis fell for it, bought him his kid, sent him away, and then killed him when he came back for more. Leon didn’t come here to borrow money for prints. He came to extort a second kid’s life. Your flunkey let him in, so
-If-if my car is there, I could be the one who... Why don’t you accuse me of killing my brother?
-Kids are not your thing, Deborah. You’d have been ready for me when I turned up with ‘Sleeping Beauty’. Damn it! Then too I should have paid more attention. “Not Leon,” you said. It struck me at the time, but obviously not hard enough. You didn’t say ‘My God!’, or whatever else well-bred ladies squeak on hearing Uncle Henry misbehaved. “Not Leon.” Who then?
-Leon could still have hung himself.
-You’re wrong about my being there, though. Carlos borrowed my car that day, his had broken down... Leon saw it, like you, assumed I was there, thought he’d wait to ask for a lift. But Carlos turned up, with the tape you found... Leon got his lift, and accidentally picked up the tape with his photo equipment when he got out. He watched it,
-You don’t say.
-Why did you send me after Friedman? To atone for your sins?
-I didn’t know my husband and Friedman knew each other. I just... Do you think we spoke about it? I’ve known for five years. He’s known I’ve known for five years... But not once have we spoken about it. There are things one just doesn’t speak about...
-One just doesn’t... Tell me, what does one speak about, huh?
-Think what you like. But don’t presume to understand.
-I don’t.
-Good.
-Is there anything to understand?
-Why do I feel I needn’t answer that?
-Rich. Young. Beautiful. You must at least get a kick out of what he does to his kids.
-You bastard...
-Five years of it. Surely, you’d have divorced him if he disgusted you?
-You splendid bastard...
-Are there truly no extenuating circumstances?
-...We’re turning in circles.
-And you still haven’t told me why you sent me after Friedman.
-Maybe I wanted to give my husband a fright.
-A fright?... Five years of cowardice led to your brother being murdered and you wanted to give his murderer a fright?
-I didn’t know who or what had happened to my brother yet, Mr Lombard!
-What was the idea? Husband is filled with fear when he learns his child supplier’s being tailed?
-Something like that.
-Something like that?
-Something like that.
-What happened? Adonis slapped you about a little and you reverted to cowardice?
-Here we go again.
-Where is that?
-Simplify and damn.
-Don’t you believe in simplicity?
-Should I?
-We all have to like what we become. Cowards included. We achieve this by complicating things a little. But it’s never that complicated really.
-You seem to know what you’re talking about.
-Perhaps it came to me while dying in a Californian desert because a woman set upon giving her husband a fright got slapped about a little.
-My husband didn’t need to slap me about, Mr Lombard. I volunteered...
-To get me killed...?
-I didn’t intend it that way... It just happened. He heard from Laurence that you’d been back. That we’d argued. He asked why and it just happened; I told him everything... I couldn’t help it. Wanted to see him scared. I had never seen him scared before, you see...
-Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself.
-You know something? I’ve just seen so much ugliness I don’t think I’d mind four walls and dinner served every night at a regular time. I’d hoped to have a private word with Adonis, but if that’s the way you want it.
-What are you doing? You can’t. I...
-Do you think the boy you saved might identify your husband as his purchaser, Deborah? And then, your brother’s not buried yet. As I said earlier, an autopsy will...
-Do you think we’d let him get away with the murder of my brother?
-We? You and your parents killed your husband?
-They found his body yesterday. In the pool at our house in Sao Paulo. He drowned. Drank too much, went for a swim and drowned.
-Your flunkey said he was expected back tonight.
-The staff don’t know yet... I called my parents, told them everything... I just couldn’t take any more...
-Get to the point, will you...
-So you did talk about it, huh?
-On... Once... Once... What are we... you going to do?
-What do you suggest?
-I don’t know. Everyone’s dead...
-Why the hell couldn’t you divorce the man?
-I... We have to bury Leon tommorrow...
-Directory enquiries. Can I help you?
-Yes. I’m trying to reach a friend but I can’t get through. The number is 01766 770 471.
-There’s nothing wrong with the line, sir. Are you sure you have the right number? 770 471 is the number of a call box.
-A call box? That’s odd. Where exactly?
-Penrhyndeudraeth, North Wales.
-Good morning, sir. How can I help you?
-A coffee and a couple of croissants.
-Crow what?
-Croissants.
-I’m sorry, sir. Could you try that again?
-The word for those things is croissants.
-May I ask where you’re from, Mr Lamont?
-Europe... France. I’m French but I live in London... ... England.
-You wouldn’t have a cigarette, would you?
-You’re sure you won’t sit down, Miss Stewart?
-Is this some kind of sick stunt? Let me guess. You want money, right?
-I can’t believe this... What’s coming now, eh? If I don’t pay all Hell’s gonna break loose, is that it?
-Well, I’d sooner mug an old lady...
-Okay. The woman just can’t walk away... I want straight answers. No hesitation or I walk for sure. Why can’t you go to your Embassy?
-Where were you staying before the attempt on your life and why can’t you go back there?
-The Mondrian, room 504. I was checked out in my absence.
-By your Austrian?
-You don’t know why he’s come to Los Angeles? The man you say he killed? Who was he? A colleague of his?
-Have you never heard of collect calls, Mr...
-Lombard... It will take a few days for the things I need to get here. Meanwhile I’d sooner not draw police attention walking the streets like a hungry dog...
-There are over 4 million people in this city - why me?
-You know where to look for your Austrian, right?
-I know where to look.
-There’ve been 7 international treaties since 1904 aimed at preventing child slavery. But still no worldwide body dedicated to investigating the maltreatment of children used in sexual exploitation. Officially, it’s just not called for. Sit down. Can I offer you some coffee?
-A recent acquisition. We’ve had four break- ins this year alone; files stolen, computers wrecked, faeces smeared on walls. The good guys dismiss us as alarmist do-gooders; the bad guys will risk prison to intimidate and rob us. An easy living indeed, Mr Lombard. I got through to Moreau and Jane. I left your landlord out of it. Your flat’s been broken into. Jane
-Hah... What about Nathalie?
-No answer. You have no passport and your Embassy’s out. How do you plan to leave the U.S., Mr Lombard?
-I’m sure I’ll find a way.
-Thank you for the guided tour, but would you mind telling me what we’re doing here?
-How come you’re alive? Child traffickers usually achieve what they set out to do. What am I really looking at here, huh? Are you really not just a lousy private eye? Am I really looking at some kind of cunning dispenser of justice in disguise?
-It’s give and take time, Mr Lombard. You need help, we need information. You didn’t really expect me to put my ass on the line helping a criminal just for the thrill of it, did you?
-A criminal?
-Huh... I have no... ... hard evidence...
-A little too tight, eh? ...They were my son’s. Only thirteen and already six feet tall. A real lanky boy... I... There’s some cold chicken salad in the fridge if you’re hungry.
-Thank you. But I think I’ll go to bed. It’s been a long day.
-Right... Well, I’ll get your money first thing in the morning, okay? Okay. Goodnight then.
-Yeah. Goodnight, Emily.
-What am I to do with the packages if...
-Get a pen and don’t ask any questions.
-Oh. What... Yeah. Okay.
-Route 395. Past Edwards Air Force base and about half a mile before a place called the Red Mountain Motel. There’s a dirt track with a ‘Closed to the public’ sign. It leads to some kind of ranch in the middle of nowhere. If you haven’t heard from me by morning send the cavalry, okay? But not before, you hear?
-Have you found your man? Is that where he is?
-Look, you don’t tell me about some Godforsaken place where stuff so bad even I couldn’t imagine it goes down and expect me to go quietly to sleep! What happened? Who’s the guy? The Austrian?
-What...?
-Friedman’s dead... They killed him...
-So who... Who’s the man? Where is he?
-Some Italian I picked up back there. He’s in the boot of the Mustang.
-Italian? The Mafia...?
-No one saw me but the Italian and a dog. I blew up their generator. They thought it was an accident but by now they must have realised one of their party is missing. It might make them feel insecure enough to decide to pack up...
-We’re both thinking the same thing, right?
-Call from the motel and tell him if he moves fast enough there might be something left of a body dissolving in acid. Can I have the keys to your house?
-That-that won’t do. That’s not the way it goes. You saw it, you tell it, that’s the way...
-I’m finished here and I’m tired, Emily. You shouldn’t be here. Now don’t make it worse.
-A seminar in a baby breeding farm! Bodies in acid! You think I’ll get anywhere with that? Jesus! With luck I might raise a laugh. They might even send a patrol car to check the place out. Whatever, it’ll be too late.
-Then find another way.
-Damn it! You can’t fucking walk away from this!
-...I’m Emily Stewart. The hysterical female who sees evil everywhere since the day her thirteen year-old boy disappeared. The pain in the ass who cries wolf at the drop of a hat. However I go about this that’s who I am. Do you get what I’m fucking saying, Mr Lombard?
-What about your friendly cop?
-They’d never let me go. And you’d end up in more trouble than you know for helping me.
-You cannot walk away from this. You cannot.
-Nothing sticks to slime, Emily. This should cover what you lent me.
-Whitney Armstrong, my deputy. What Whitney’s trying to say is that you might not live to tell the tale next time you meet your Austrian...
-Hi...
-If you have hard evidence about a child trafficker, we want it, Mr Lombard. And we want it before you get yourself killed...
-We’ve still got the Italian...
-Look at him, Whitney. Come all the way from England to clean up California. Huh!
-Emily...
-Shit! Fuck! What’s fucking wrong with people! I’m going to bed. And sweet dreams to you to!
-I’m calling about the puppies.
-Have we done business before?
-I saw the ad at George’s. I’m passing through town and I’m in a hurry.
-May I have your phone number?
-Why?
-What sort of puppy are you looking for?
-What sort have you got?
-Pups. Bitches. From three to twelve months. Trained and untrained ones. White and brown ones. You understand?
-Yeah.
-We also provide 24-hour after-sale service. Were the puppy to fall sick or accidently die, we would unburden you, you understand?
-Yes... Good, good...
-So, what are you looking for?
-What about an untrained pup, white...
-How much of a hurry are you in?
-Tomorrow?
-I’m afraid the only pups currently available at such notice are brown and trained. But they are all very cheerful and have been thoroughly checked for diseases...
-I see. How much?
-Fifteen for a straight delivery. Twenty with the provision of a safe place. Visitors tend to find the second option more convenient.
-... Fine. I’ll go for the safe place.
-On the bed!
-Where is the Austrian?
-You’re not playing with little boys now, scumbag. Where is the Austrian?
-Who are you?
-Where is the Austrian? Is Friedman the Austrian?
-Yes. Friedman’s the fuckin’ Austrian!
-Where is he?
-I don’t know. He’s gone! He’s gone. I don’t fucking know where, I swear... He’s gone. On holiday...
-...On holiday?
-Who’s the money man?
-Ever seen him before?
-No... No... I swear...
-What’s this place? A hotel of some kind?
-Yeah... The Diplomat.
-Where?
-What?
-Where are we?
-Finsbury Park. We’re in Finsbury Park.
-Where are the kids?
-What kids?
-There were six on offer, you scumbag. Where are the other five?
-I don’t know... This is just a delivery place, man! I swear I don’t know where the kids are... I work for Martin, that’s all. Martin knows. He works for Friedman. He knows...
-And who does Friedman work for?
-The company. We all work for the company.
-What company?
-I don’t know. I don’t know, man. I don’t even know Friedman that well... I... Man, you’ve got to get me out of here...
-How many of you scumbags are here?
-Just me... Martin’s gone back to the Ambassador. Look...
-What’s the Ambassador?
-Another hotel. Down the road. Martin lives there. He took your money. He’s got a safe... I need a doctor...
-What about the staff? They’re in on what’s going on, aren’t they? How many of them?
-What colour is your car? What colour is your car?
-B-Black...
-Where is it?
-I’m sorry but Mr Gluck is not answering, sir. Would you like to leave a message?
-The Hyatt. Good afternoon. May I help you?
-Does Mr Gluck call for his messages?
-Absolutely, sir. As a matter of fact he called this morning, sir.
-Next time he calls tell Mr Gluck he better be there to take his calls at 9 tonight or at 9 in the morning if he cares about his puppies. Got that?
-You sure you passed on my message?
-Hello again, neighbour. I didn’t intrude, did I?
-How are you, Jane?
-Fine. How was the match? Did you loose?
-No.
-Must be your lucky day then. I’ve got your accounts - you don’t owe much tax for last year.
-Good.
-Have you heard of a French film called “La Collectionoose”?
-La what?
-“La collectionoose”. It’s about a young girl in the south of France who seduces a different man every night and then meets one who resists her. It’s on TV tonight and as I’m in I thought we could perhaps look at your accounts and... The review says it’s about the conflict between intellect and instinct. And witty. The director’s supposed to be famous. Rommel
-Should I?
-I don’t know. How many famous French film directors can there be?
-That are called Rommel or something, I guess not that many.
-So you haven’t seen the film, then?
-It’s Friday night, Jane. What happened to your latest boyfriend?
-Oh... We split up.
-Well, I hope you’re not too heartbroken and...
-I’ve got work tonight, Jane.
-She’s pretty... See you, huh?
-I came to feed your fish. I didn’t know...
-Oui, bonjour, Jean... Oui, très bien, merci. Dites-moi, pourriez-vous me dire si vous avez recommandémes services àquelqu’un récemment... Vous êtes certain... Non, non... Je vous remercie...
-Hello there. How’s the flat. I cleaned...
-Jane, there was an envelope in my desk. The one I’d given you and then got back, remember? I can’t find it. Do you know where it is?
-No... I told you on the phone. Whoever broke in messed-up all your papers. I put everything back where I thought it ought to be. Maybe it’s there with...
-It’s not.
-Piss off!
-Just ask if they can recall recommending my services to anyone in the recent past. Say you’re my secretary, all right?
-Your secretary, huh!
-I’d appreciate it if you could do this for me. If you can’t, don’t worry about it. I’ll call in about an hour anyway. Sorry but I’m in a hurry.
-Hello, Jane. It’s me.
-Really? And how are you, eh? Someone called Pierre Dreyer said that a month ago he had dinner with a Brazilian friend of...
-Carlos De Moraes?
-Yes. How did...
-Good afternoon, Mrs...?
-May I...?
-Lombard, this is not a Jewish name, is it?
-I hope it’s not too significant.
-What if it is?
-Whatever, you come recommended. We...
-Recommended?
-Must I speak to you in French?
-Didn’t you say I came recommended? That’s what I thought. May I know by whom?
-You may not. And besides, it is irrelevant.
-Okay. Recommended...
-Good. Now, as I trust you may have guessed, we are looking for someone to work for us. Someone whose discretion can be relied upon. Someone who while in our employ would give us full commitment. Do you think you could be that person, Mr Lombard?
-Look Mrs Spitz... I don’t know to whom I’m indebted for the recommendation but... I’m not in the business of making oaths of allegiance or giving myself character references. What I do is listen to what the people who care to call me have to say and judge whether or not I can be of help. I hope you can appreciate that, Mrs Spitz.
-I take it your son is called Leon?
-What do you think has happened to your son, Mrs Spitz?
-You wouldn’t be here if I knew, Mr Lombard. What I do know is that he has not been at work for three weeks. That enquiries to the police and London hospitals have borne no results. And that a check with his bank revealed he has not used his account for four weeks now.
-How did you do that, Mrs Spitz?
-Do what, Mr Lombard?
-Check with your son’s bank. Banks don’t usually give out information about their customers.
-I said earlier that my husband and I are supporting Leonard in his photography, Mr Lombard. By this I mean that since his return from America I have been depositing for him a monthly allowance in an account we jointly hold. So as you see, I did not have to break the law to find out if he used the account.
-I didn’t mean to imply you did, Mrs Spitz.
-Then you should not have sought an explanation.
-I presume you checked your son’s apartment...
-Yesterday. It all looked normal.
-Did you look for his passport, driving licence?
-Leonard does not hold a driving licence. As for his passport, I do not know where he keeps it.
-So he could have decided to go on a trip...
-He could indeed, Mr Lombard. But had he done so I think he would have let us know about it.
-I take it your son is not married, Mrs Spitz?
-No. And before you ask, no, he’s not gay! He has had girlfriends, but nothing serious...
-Any friends?
-The proprietor of his workplace is the only friend of his we know about. His address is in this envelope with Leonard’s address, keys and other things you might need.
-I’m sure... As far as you know, when and where was your son last seen?
-The £1,000 is on account.
-My rates...
-We are aware of your rates, Mr Lombard. We will pay you double your rates plus expenses. In return, need I say it again, we expect discretion and undivided attention.
-Why do you think your son chose not to come to you for funds for his photography, Mrs Spitz?
-My husband and I will be leaving tomorrow for a short stay in Israel. Deborah will be here if you need anything before our return.
-£10,000 a year to the girl for as long as she looks after the boy?
-Look at it this way. He might achieve everything your son never did.
-What happens now?
-The room’s yours for 24 hours. It’s sound- proofed, stocked up with food, drink and other things you might find useful. You can do anything you like.
-Anything at all?
-Vous êtes Français?
-Problems?
-Is my money in there?
-Let’s go.
-I don’t know what your problem is, but...
-Am I supposed to know him?
-Six weeks ago. He bought a boy of yours.
-Clients come and go.
-This one came back and was never seen again. I understand Friedman looked after him.
-Where is Friedman?
-Friedman lives with you at the Ambassador?
-No. In Hampstead... Why?
-This car needs petrol.
-You’re out of your mind. What’s the idea?
-Is it real? You people are sick.
-Huh. I’d have thought a tough guy like you would know better. The sick ones are out there, friend. They make up the clientèle. Get rid of them and we’re out of business.
-Only feeding the disease, eh, Martin?
-Money talks, bullshit walks, whether you like it or not.
-Maybe I don’t.
-Maybe you should. Think about it. Those who can afford our goods do their thing without upsetting anyone. Those who can’t do it to kids from the streets or their own family and it makes upsetting headlines.
-I’m overcome by your public-spiritedness.
-You know what, Martin? I ought to tie you down with your old arse up in the air and advertise the hole in the middle of it to the world. Free. And hope you never die.
-Huh... I’m sure there’d be lots of takers.
-Is this Friedman?
-Who are you? Who are you working for, huh?
-Is this Friedman, Martin? Come on, scumbag. You’ve reached your sell- by date. Tell me if this is Friedman, where he is in Los Angeles and what name he’s using?
-You’re making a mistake, tough guy. Whoever he is, your guy’s not one of Friedman’s...
-You seem very sure about that.
-I told you... The rabble, it’s me... Huh... It’s sad.
-What is?
-Trying to say something, Martin?
-Hyatt... Friedman’s... at the Hyatt...
-The Hyatt...? What’s that?
-It’s about the puppy. You got the money?
-Yeah.
-At what time will you be available?
-Three o’clock.
-What is it?
-This is the hotel supervisor, Mr Lamont. I’m terribly sorry to disturb you but there’s been a mix-up with our bookings which you might be able to help us resolve.
-What are you talking about?
-Five to three. You’re early.
-I gather we’ve done business with a friend of yours?
-Have you?
-The person who put us in touch seems to think so.
-Your lady friend did.
-And while visiting our fair city you... An Austrian?
-An Austrian.
-An Austrian... Not much to go on, is it?
-Will you be alone? The merchandise. Is it just you or...
-I’ll be alone.
-Evening. Table for one?
-No. Thank you. Could you tell me if Leon Spitz is here, please?
-Leon? No. I’m afraid he left.
-Left? When? I just come from his place and there was no one there. A neighbour of his...
-No. I meant he left as in no longer works here.
-Oh. This is... We’d arranged to meet tonight and I’m due to return to Paris tomorrow...
-I’m sorry...
-This is private property. The public footpath is back to the left of the bridge.
-It’s wet. Will this do?
-Where’s your wallet? Have you got a wallet?
-Is this some kind of mugging? Because...
-Shut up! Where’s your wallet?
-In my jacket. Left inside pocket.
-A private investigator... You’re not Austrian?
-Should I be?
-What’s a French private investigator doing here?
-Can I get up now?
-No! What do you want here? How do you know me?
-As you know from speaking to Phil, your friend Leon has disappeared, Rhian. His family have hired me to find him.
-...Leon’s not here. How did you get here? Phil doesn’t know where I live.
-Well, I obviously do. And I also know that Leon’s not here, Rhian. But I thought that you might know where I should look for him.
-You thought wrong. I haven’t seen Leon for months.
-Haven’t you? Then why the worried messages on his answering machine, Rhian? I’d have sworn you expect him to be in trouble.
-What are you going to do now? Call the police? Take him away? I must warn you he’s terrified of men, so...
-We didn’t quite make it as lovers... Leon is a good man, though...
-Did Leon tell you why he didn’t want the police involved, Rhian?
-He just said he had good reasons.
-Good reasons?
-That’s what he said. I tried to dissuade him... Told him I couldn’t take on another child, that he’d get into trouble... I mean, people who sell children... But he wasn’t listening... I guess he finally found himself a crusade... His family think he’s back on drugs, eh? Huh... Leon did drugs. A lot of drugs. Went through his self-destruct phase, you know? Things
-His mother would be pleased to hear that.
-Yeah... But he didn’t beat the demons... A quarter of all the shoes sold in Europe are made by or retailed through his parent’s leather empire. All started from a small shop in the East End of London and war reparation money for holocaust victims.
-I’m afraid I don’t understand.
-They’re German Jews. Came here before the war. They both lost all their families in extermination camps, but they themselves never went near one. The idea that his family wealth was started with money he believes should have gone to camp survivors has been haunting Leon. It’s not guilt, more of a curse... And then there’s something about his parents being involved with Nazi
-Do you know Leon’s parents names?
-Who else knows about the boy?
-My sister... She lives in the next valley.
-Is she on the phone?
-I can’t think of a good reason for it - for now anyway. My number if anything happens. What’s your sister’s number?
-And you better stop greeting strangers with a shotgun. If Leon’s Austrian was looking for you I reckon he’d have found you before I did.
-I’m sorry. It’s just you don’t look local...
-No sick people in the country, huh?... Just tell me one thing, Rhian. Leon’s story about the boy? You just took his word for it?
-What’s the date?
-The nineteenth... How come you didn’t know?
-I’ve been away. Did Leon speak to you about his sister?
-Er... Yes...
-Did he ever refer to the hostility between them?
-The money Leon left for the boy, was it cash?
-Yes. Three thousand pounds. I still...
-Did he mention anything about having an exhibition of his work?
-... No.
-You sure? What about before he turned up with the boy?
-He showed me a book with a picture of a couple caught kissing in a street...
-How’s the boy doing?
-Fine...
-And you ain’t neither one of those damned Mexicans who end up littering the landscape after getting ripped-off by their friendly cross- border guides, are you, mister?
-No...
-Now, can you stand up? Can you use your legs and stand up?
-I... How long have I been here?
-Huh... I guess you ain’t quite ready for civilisation yet... I’ll give you one more day, a meal, and then you’re on your way.
-Los Angeles?
-Los Angeles is 100 miles away.
-I’d appreciate it if I could use your phone.
-Barstow’s 30 miles to the left. Los Angeles a hundred to the right. Wherever you’re heading, I reckon somebody’ll pick you up.
-Huh... I suppose the idea of a one day trip to Los Angeles doesn’t appeal to you...
-Welcome to the club.
-Excuse me?
-I hear you’re looking for Leon. That makes me, his old-lady, and now you, looking for the little bastard. Leon’s gone, man. Vanished. You interested in his photographs?
-Uh-huh.
-No shit... Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you.
-I take it you don’t know where he is, then?
-Huh! You could always try Suicide Bridge. You don’t know Leon, do you?
-I know his work better than I know him.
-Let me put it this way then; the photographs and the man? One and the same, man, one and the same. At best fucking weird, at worst fucked-up fucking weird. Maybe you should think yourself lucky. Some folks just ain’t worth getting involved with. And Leon sure is one of ‘em.
-What about his girlfriend?
-What about which girlfriend?
-Small, blond, good-looking. She was with him when we met. She had a funny English accent.
-Oh. That’d be Rhian, a Welsh chick he used to lay at weekends. She got wise and dumped him months ago...
-Would you know where I might reach her?
-Yeah! Somewhere in Wales. I don’t really know her. Used to turn up in a Transit van on weekends, sell old furniture at Camden. That’s how come he only laid her at weekends, ha ha...
-Could that be Camden Market?
-Yeah. Why? You’re going to look for her... Shit! You really think his pictures are that good?
-Qu’est-ce que tu veux?
-What’s an hour of your time worth these days, Nathalie? Combien, Nathalie!
-Cinq cents.
-J’ai bien peur qu’il te faudra attendre. Pas avant la matinée.
-Bye. And thanks... Nathalie gently closes the door, eyes Lombard who shakes himself awake... rolls her eyes and surveys the room...
-Où est passé ton salon?
-Mon bureau coûtait trop cher.
-Alors?
-Alors quoi?
-Le montage, l’emballage. Not your regular street muck, is it? This is collectors’ stuff. How much would it cost me?
-A l’achat, trois ou quatre mille. En location, cinq cent. Mais ça pourrait faire plus. Je ne sais pas. C’est pas vraiment mon truc. I don’t know any Austrian, Xavier.
-But maybe you know someone who does. An Austrian, in London, dealing in kids and snuff videos. How many can there be? These people supply to order. He has to be known, reachable.
-Then why don’t you reach him?
-We are so alike, Xavier. Still, sometimes I wonder which one of us is the ugliest.
-Okay, shitbag. I’m only going to ask you this once. Where is Friedman?
-Who? I don’t know who the fuck you’re talking about, sunshine.
-Gluck.
-Figlio di puttana. You’re the French asshole who bumped off the London guys...
-Five seconds. Then you die.
-Fuck...
-Three...
-You’re the lantern man, huh? If you wanna see what’s left of him...
-The acid bath?
-Why did you kill Friedman?
-Let me give you a tip, asshole - no one pulls stunts like what you pulled in London and here tonight and hopes to get away with it. It upsets people. It’s wrong. Fucking wrong.
-Why did you kill him?
-Huh! You turned him into a liability, didn’t you know?
-Nice way to help a colleague in trouble.
-Are you telling me Friedman didn’t tell you I was here looking for him?
-If he had, you’d be dead.
-So why didn’t he?
-What do you think, huh?
-I think you’d rather not know what I think.
-Huh. Maybe he figured the news our London bureau got a visit from a hitman on behalf of a pissed off client wouldn’t go down too well. He only shared his guilty secret last night. And then only ‘cause he was so fucking edgy after calling his hotel we persuaded him to talk.
-So you killed him and went to clean out his hotel room... How did Friedman say he got to know where to find me?
-Try again, and this time be polite.
-I can only tell you what he told us...
-Not even scum like Friedman would go to the trouble of killing a stranger on the strength of one anonymous call.
-Some guy called to let him know the Frenchman who’d called the night before he left London was in L.A. looking to kill him. He did his sums and decided to take the call seriously.
-What sums?
-Two stiffs and a missing kid followed your visit to one of the London hotels. He didn’t need your confession...
-You’re sure he said his caller was a man?
-When they realise I’m missing...
-What you gonna do? Kill me?
-Don’t tempt me. The last scumbag who thought I might kill him died soon afterwards.
-Moreau? C’est moi. Alors...
-Salut, Laurent. Ouais. It wasn’t easy but I got what you wanted through Interpol. Say, what’s your business with these Spitzes?
-They lost their son. Why?
-It appears that in their younger days they were actively involved with a shady German group of Nazi hunters known as “Never Forget”. Over the years we’re talking about a dozen or so execution-type killings.
-Are they still operative?
-Their last suspected kill occurred two years back, though your Spitzes now probably do no more than bankroll the group. Still, I’d watch my step. These people are well-connected, Laurent; former Israeli prime minister, etc. The lady’s also president of an international Zionist organisation... Anyway, you get the picture.
-Mossad?
-Ha ha... Yes. With prices reaching an all time low, the name of the game has become ‘have-it- where-it’s-at’... As we all know, transportation has always been the costliest and trickiest part of this business...
-Cost what?
-Costliest!
-What’s that? A word?
-What do you think?
-I don’t know. Could be the sound of jewellery hitting a parquet floor, huh?
-Very funny. Can I go on now?
-Oh dear, why is life so complicated? Sometimes I really wish I could be someone else.
-That's a good idea, sire.
-What do you mean?
-Let someone else pretend to be you, and see if...
-Why not you -- Jean d'Aulon? The only man who's poorer than I am, and so the only man I can trust. Dignified, honorable, wise... what more could we ask of a king?
-My dear Aulon, to you it shall befall the honor of impersonating the royal blood!
-Majesty, I can't...
-Why, are you not ready to die for your king?
-Of course I am, it's just that...
-Sire, you know how bad I am at this sort of game.
-Jeanne, this is -- in fact -- my loyal friend and finest archer, Jean d'Aulon. Jean... I place her in your care. Find her suitable lodgings -- here -- in the castle... and guard her with your life.
-Here... to help pay Jeanne's ransom. All the Captains gave what they could, as well as the citizens of Orleans and the other towns she saved...
-Very generous of you all. How much?
-My dear Aulon... That's fine...
-It's a miracle she's not dead!
-We have to do something before she tries it again! I beg of you, my lord, don't let her down... let me organize an escape...
-Jean, it's... it's not so easy...
-But not impossible... Gilles and La Hire are ready to risk everything to save her...
-Jean... me dear, loyal Jean... why do you want to oppose the will of God? Jeanne wanted to go to Compiegne -- we let her -- she got caught. Then, on my personal orders, Regnault proposed 30,000 crowns for her ransom, and once again the answer was no. And now you say she tried to escape, and the answer is still no. Jean, open
-What do you fear most now... my sword? ... or his hands?
-Listen, please accept my apologies for... you know, me pretending to be the... well it wasn't really my idea... well, yes it was my idea but...
-I would like some fresh straw.
-And I would like to see a priest.
-Now?
-Yes. I didn't confess today.
-I shall also be needing a war horse -- mine is too slow -- and armor -- and a good sword -- and an artist to make me a banner.
-Now?
-Better today than tomorrow.
-I also need someone who can read and write.
-This I can do. I was studying at the University of Paris -- till the English invaded it.
-I thought you were an archer?
-Yes, I am. I'm an archer who can read and write. Who do you want to write to?
-Who do they think I am?!
-Jeanne, calm down. You can't blame the people -- they've been hearing all about you for weeks.
-Jeanne, stop it!
-He didn't tell you to cut all your hair off...!
-How dare you tell me what God tells me to do!
-What did they say?
-Uh... they said... they will think about it.
-Good.
-What's going on?!
-Not so... easily. Why aren't you... fighting...? go on... we're almost there...
-Jeanne, you've been badly wounded...
-Alright... I promise to rest if you promise... to go back to the battle.
-The king said you're his finest archer...?
-Well...
-Jeanne, calm down, do you hear me? Are you alright?
-Yes...
-I'll go.
-Jeanne...! Are you alright?
-Yes. Yes, I'm fine... We need more brushwood! Why are you staring at me like that?
-Jeanne... the king has ordered us not to ride with you anymore.
-They've abandoned me... like everyone.
-What... what do you mean?
-It's been weeks since they spoke to me. Since the coronation... no signs... nothing...
-Maybe their silence is a sign...? Maybe it's a sign to go home?
-It's not time yet. My mission is not over yet. There is still more I must do before I can really -- finally -- go home.
-Well of course they're me! That's how God talks to me. If you listen hard enough, even you can hear him. Everyone can hear him.
-But I hear so many voices... one voice saying one thing, another voice saying the opposite -- love your enemy, kill your enemy -- what is good, what is evil...?
-All you have to do is stop talking and just listen.
-But how do you know what you hear is the truth?
-I don't know it. I feel it.
-You make it sound so simple...
-The truth is always simple... it's you, Jean, who's making things complicated.
-Me?! It's not me, it's God who makes everything complicated! If he's all-powerful, why not let the English stay on their island in the first place? And why let this war go on for a hundred years? And why send you out to fight when a girl like you should be at home with your family? Why, why?!
-So... even you don't believe in me anymore...
-If you really want to help me, there's one thing you can do.
-Tell me...
-That's not what I asked... Why do you want to marry me?
-What did the king say?
-He said that... he's making a treaty with the Duke of Burgundy and...
-It's a trap! They're buying time till they can bring over more soldiers from England!
-Did your voices tell you that? You told me you hadn't heard them for months...
-No, but...
-Or maybe it's Jeanne who's in a trap -- her own trap -- a downward spiral that she can't stop?
-Did you come back to marry me or to insult me?
-I will ask my voices... if they come back one day. Meanwhile... I'm going to Compiegne.
-Jeanne... I believe in you -- but can you believe in me for once? Don't go... even if you don't want to marry me.
-I would like to marry you. But I have already promised myself... to God.
-But... you've done so much for God as it is... can't you do something for yourself for once -- for Jeanne?
-But it is what I want.
-To be killed in battle?
-Will you at least let me stay with you?
-We must sound the retreat!
-Get back inside the town and see if the English are attacking from the other side!
-But... why... what's the point?
-Do as I say!
-I want to stay with you...
-I am ready now...
-Just give me a moment and then you'll be free...
-I'm already free...
-My gentle Captain... I'm staying.
-I -- I don't understand...
-One day you will.
-... and maybe the king will give you some money, and a little land, and a title even... ... wouldn't that be a fine thing? You, a lady of title!
-I'm staying, Jean.
-No, you must come, Jeanne -- we need you -- so much has happened since you left... I have a new horse now, a white one, just like yours... and La Hire hardly swears at all anymore... You can't stay -- they'll burn you!
-I'm not afraid of the fire anymore. It will purify me...
-Jeanne's alive!
-Good.
-We have to press home the attack!
-Sound the retreat...
-But I promised Jeanne we'd fight on!
-I made no such promise. Sound the retreat for the night!
-But that was her order!
-I won't tell you more about that. I'm more afraid of displeasing Him than not answering you...
-You're afraid of displeasing God when telling the truth?!
-No...
-Did God forbid you to tell the truth?
-Go onto the next question.
-Good advice for the French, not for the English! Do you think God hates the English?
-Is it true that you launched an attack on Paris?
-I tried to.
-It was on a Sunday, wasn't it?
-I don't remember. Maybe.
-Do you think is was a good idea to launch an attack on a holy day?
-I don't know...
-And didn't you order the citizens of Paris to surrender the city in the name of the King of Heaven?
-No... I said "Surrender in the name of the King of France"...
-I can't read.
-Ah, yes, I forgot... God sent us an illiterate peasant to carry out such an important mission! Do you think that God made the right decision, to take an ignorant girl to save the kingdom of France?
-Do you have a sword?
-Quite a few.
-Didn't you also carry a banner?
-Yes...
-Which did you prefer, your banner or your sword?
-I was forty times more fond of my banner than my sword.
-And why was that? Did it have some particular value or power?
-No, it's just... a sword is a weapon.
-And?
-And so I... I prefer my banner.
-Why?
-To avoid killing anyone.
-No, of course not... I never killed anyone...
-Then perhaps the temptation to kill would have been stronger... too strong perhaps...?
-No! I warned the English to go back home -- I begged them not to force us to fight -- they knew the defeat I would bring on them... why didn't they listen to me?
-We have numerous witnesses who can confirm that you were not always carrying your banner...
-Yes, probably... maybe...
-So sometimes you were carrying just your sword?
-Yes, but...
-Did you use the sword that you held in your hand?
-No, I... I held it up to...
-You held up your sword and flourished it about in the air? Like this?
-Yes, maybe... I don't remember...
-... so you were in the middle of the battlefield, with your sword in your hand, waving it above your head... charging against the enemy, screaming and yelling... fighting for your life... and you want us to believe that in the middle of all this excitement you never killed anyone?
-It is the sacred place that matters, Charles -- not the size. Am I correct, Bishop?
-I don't understand... the holy oil of Clovis... it was quite full the last time I saw it...
-And when was that?
-Well... at the coronation of King Charles VI...
-Thirty years ago? I'm not surprised it's gone...
-W-w-what are you doing?!
-Arrest them!
-What are you doing? This is an ecclesiastical court -- you have no right to do this!
-Who's running this trial, you or her? I can't believe it! This wretched girl -- how dare she speak to us like that?
-I understand your impatience, but if you want this trial to be acknowledged as legal we must follow correct procedure and...
-To hell with procedure! We paid a bloody fortune for this slut, and we can do whatever the hell we like with her, whether the church likes it or not -- is that clear?
-But if this trial seems fixed, I fear you'll have the very opposite result to the one you want...
-We want her burned as a witch!
-But in order to do so, the church must first prove her heresy, or else you'll be burning a martyr...
-Calm down, my lord, I beg you!
-How can I calm down when I'm made the laughing-stock of the whole court?! I've had enough!
-Be patient, my lord... you've seen how it is. This girl has a way with people... but everyday we're making progress...
-It is not for us to burn her, my lord. That is your prerogative.
-... and your prerogative is to find her guilty...
-But we can't do that unless she admits to blasphemy...
-You won't be able to drag anything from her that way. You also must realize that many of my colleagues are... well, scared...
-Scared of a girl?
-Whose side are you on, Cauchon?
-I'm on the side of our Mother Holy Church. Besides, a confession under torture will never convince anyone of her guilt.
-So... here is the famous Jeanne... Savior of Orleans... terror of the English? You look pretty ordinary to me...
-Am I... am I dead?
-Dead you're worthless, darling.
-Where... where am I?
-My king will pay any ransom you ask.
-Your king? Ah yes, of course... What's he going to pay me with? Cows? Chickens? I prefer gold, and the English have plenty. I wonder how much they'll pay... to have the Witch of Orleans in their clutches? Those English are so arrogant, they can't accept the idea of being defeated by a peasant girl... it has to have been the devil's work.
-God defeated the English, not me.
-Are you alright? Did they hurt you?
-No no, I'm fine, really...
-Really?
-Quick -- hide in here...
-What about you?
-Don't worry about me -- just stay in here... and don't move!
-But where are you going to be?
-Oh, thank you Lord! I'm so glad to see you! I need to confess... I haven't been confessed since Easter... or been to Mass... Will you hear me now?
-I will hear you... but not now, not here.
-Who are you?
-Pierre Cauchon, Bishop of Beauvais. As you were captured in my diocese, the duty of conducting the trial falls upon me.
-Trial? What trial??
-Your trial, Jeanne. On a charge of heresy.
-But... the King -- my king -- didn't he pay my ransom?
-It seems that the English care more about you than the French.
-The English??
-Take the Holy Gospels in your hand and swear to tell the whole truth concerning everything you will be asked.
-You will swear to tell the truth about whatever you are asked.
-You must take the oath! Not even a king, would refuse to take an oath to tell the truth in a matter of faith.
-So... begin by telling us your name -- assuming you're allowed to tell us that much?
-Show us a little more cooperation first. Where were you born?
-In a village called Domremy.
-How old are you?
-Nineteen... or thereabouts...
-Were you baptized?
-Yes. In the church at Domremy.
-Recite the Lord's Prayer.
-Jeanne, listen to me very carefully. We are all men of faith, and we shall earnestly strive for the salvation of both your soul and body as though it were our own. We do so in the name of our Holy Mother Church, who never closes her arms to those who would return to her. But we cannot help you unless you submit to
-Jeanne -- be careful -- you're not helping yourself by refusing to submit to our judgment...
-Jeanne, you are not helping yourself. If you don't answer our questions properly, your refusal will be taken into account.
-These questions have nothing to do with your trial.
-I assure you they do. So... answer me... when was the last time you heard this voice?
-Not long ago...
-When exactly? A day, a week -- when?
-What were you doing when the voice came?
-Praying.
-The voice was in your cell?
-Yes.
-What did it tell you?
-Many things...
-Tell us, Jeanne... do you often hear this voice?
-Yes...
-Let me clarify things for you, Jeanne. On the one hand there is the Church Triumphant, that is to say God, his saints, and the souls that are saved. And then there is the Church Militant, that is to say our Holy Father the Pope, the cardinals, the prelates of the Church, the clergy, and all good Catholic Christians. Moreover this Church, when assembled,
-It is for us to determine whether you are a good Christian, not you.
-Jeanne, I beg of you... sign! In God's name, don't you understand? I'm trying to save you! If you don't sign, the English will burn you to death! Is that what you want??
-Sign this, and I will confess you myself if you want.
-And may I go to Mass?
-Please... may I have it back...
-I didn't mean it! I didn't know what I was signing! You tricked me...!
-I don't understand, Jeanne... why did you do it? Why?
-And you? Why did you lie? You promised I could be confessed...
-I know, Jeanne... it was the only way to save you from the fire!
-I ask only one thing... to hear me in confession...
-Good day, sir. I trust my honorable Duke of Burgundy is feeling well?
-He's feeling wonderful.
-Thanks be to God.
-And your Duke? The Duke of Bedford?
-Not so well, I regret to say. This business with the Maiden... it's caused him endless grief and torment. That's why he's entrusted me with the task of... shall we say...
-Buying her?
-This word is -- regrettably appropriate for the situation. In fact what we -- the Church -- wish to do is determine whether or not this girl is sent by God, as she claims. You understand that we cannot allow just anybody to abuse God's name in this manner...
-20,000?! But... I heard King Charles was... financially embarrassed.
-Your health and happiness has always been my first concern, Charles... ever since you were a little boy -- and I think I know you better than your own mother...
-You think?
-Mmmm. Yes. I know for example the sickness that plagues your heart. I know how painful it is for you... to have loved a father... without ever knowing if he really was yours.
-W-w-what has that got to do with this Maiden?
-Who better than a messenger from God to give answers to your questions?
-You really think she's been sent... by God?
-You will??
-It's true. There's only one king... people need to be reminded of that. Nevertheless... Jeanne has done so much for us...
-I assure you, Charles, the Maiden has no greater admirer than myself. But whatever our personal feelings, we cannot allow her to conduct her own private war. For the sake of the kingdom, it is imperative that you stop her going to Compiegne...
-Don't worry, Charles. If God is still with her, she will be victorious. We're not her judges... we're just spectators. Let her go to Compiegne, as you let her go to Orleans, and let God decide her fate.
-But... her army's so small now...
-There's no need to be afraid, sire.
-I'm... I'm not the king...
-What was my mission? To help my country? But how could I do that? I was only a poor girl who knew nothing about riding or making war... so I decided to wait and not to speak to anyone about it.
-You did well...
-... and what... what did he say?
-I don't need lodgings if we're to be marching on Orleans...
-Ah, Jeanne... come here...! This whole coronation idea of yours is a fiasco... nothing is ready...
-... You look wonderful...
-Get them out of here!
-Now hold on -- you're not captain here... on the battlefield perhaps, but not in the royal bedchamber!
-Why did you betray me? Paris was ours for the taking! All I needed was another few hundred men... Why did you take back the army you gave me?
-Gave you? Well now, I wouldn't quite put it like that...
-So how would you put it?
-Well... we are, of course, enormously grateful for your past efforts, but your task is done. Now it's time for negotiation... and after many months of skillful work, our dear Tremoille is about to seal a treaty with our Burgundian friends who will no longer lend their support to the English. You see, my dear Jeanne... as it is written in the Bible, "to
-Peace will only be got from the English at the end of a lance!
-She pretends she's been sent by God! These charlatans -- it's a pity there isn't enough wood to burn them all!
-She says she'll be here tomorrow...!
-You mustn't see her, my lord. We know nothing about her... we don't even know if she is from Lorraine.
-What difference does it make where she comes from?
-Not exactly. She wants you to give her an army -- at your expanse. Bearing in mind that your mother stole every last piece of gold in the treasury, I fail to see how you can afford such an adventure.
-I can see her if I want to. I mean, with half of France in the hands of the English, what have I got to lose?
-Your majesty, I urge you not to see this woman. It all reeks of a Burgundian trap!
-My astrologers assure me that the hour is p-p-propitious -- Leo, with Virgo rising. Have you ever noticed on the astrological chart how the Virgin is next to the Lion?
-Supposing she's an assassin?
-Your majesty, I really think you...
-My dear loyal Tremoille, I know I can count on you...
-... as always, majesty...
-My captains have sworn their support.
-He's probably right -- let's call a delay...
-There's no time, sire -- we can't hold up the ceremony... there's no telling when the English might come back... they're only ten leagues away...
-I... I don't know... it'll sound like we... betrayed her...?
-When you saw your king for the first time, was there an angel over his head?
-If there was, I didn't see it...
-Then why did your king believe in you without any proof?
-You told us about the appearance of this... voice. What exactly did you see? Part of it... or all of it?
-His face.
-Does he have hair?
-Yes.
-Is it long and hanging down?
-I'm more interested in what he says, not what he looks like.
-But if the devil were to take on the physical appearance of a saint or an angel... or a man... how would you recognize him? By what he said?
-Go on to the next question.
-5,000 gold crowns.
-That's not a lot.
-It is all his majesty can afford. He has even donated his very own personal savings. His majesty will greatly appreciate a gesture of good will in this delicate negotiation between our two families.
-I know... but the English want her very badly, and I have to tell you that they are proving much more generous.
-May I, without offending you, inquire how generous?
-8,000. We can't raise more... We can only place ourselves at the mercy of your generosity.
-Were you sent by Lord Dunois?
-Yes... they were.
-Good. Where are the English?
-Everywhere. Where is the food?
-It's coming -- I rode on ahead. I have to speak with the Captain of the English army... his name's Talbot...
-I know...
-Good. Can you bring me to him?
-Wait, wait...
-For what?
-Because... because -- I mean -- the English have a broad sense of humor, but... I mean, you don't understand... to them you're a witch, working for the devil. What makes you think they'll listen to you?
-Because if they don't, I'll raise such a war-cry against them that they will remember us forever!
-Well. I'd love to see that, but after taking counsel with my captains, I felt it would be better to first bring the food into the city, then wait till Alencon arrives with reinforcements before doing anything.
-You may have been with your counsel, but I've been with mine, and I'm telling you, God's counsel is wiser than yours, and he's telling me to speak to the English -- now!
-So... what is the message?
-Jeanne, that really makes no sense at all. The Tourelles is virtually impregnable... besides, if we're on the other side of the river attacking the Tourelles, what's to stop Talbot attacking the city from the north?
-You know, I feel a great sorrow for you, because you're laughing now, but by tomorrow night some of you will be dead and having to repeat your jokes in front of God.
-Jeanne, with respect -- we can't just attack the Tourelles like that -- it's a very complicated matter and...
-"Be patient, be patient"... is that the only advice you can ever come up with?? I've shown more patience than a dozen saints!
-Jeanne, you have to understand -- it's not easy for us -- I mean for our pride -- to suddenly be usurped by a -- well, with all due respect, by a... girl.
-Ah, so that's it. To you I'm just a girl.
-Jeanne, put yourself in my shoes for a moment -- how would you feel, if you were me?
-Dunois... was it you who ordered the attack? Answer me?!
-Can we -- uh -- discuss this later?
-Position the long-bows over there, crossbows over there -- and set up Dijon Culverins either side of those trees...
-The wind will be against us...
-What's going on?
-Jeanne, what are you doing with that... you've got it back to front...
-Stand by with the battering-rams...
-We need another ten minutes...
-Well...? Shall we go?
-Not yet.
-My lord Dunois... I have wonderful news! -- finally -- he's sending her to us -- thanks be to God -- we're saved -- it's wonderful!
-Calm yourself, Xaintrailles. Now slowly. Who has finally done what?
-The Dauphin -- he's sending us food -- and supplies -- and an army -- led by Jeanne -- the maiden from Lorraine -- isn't it wonderful?!
-Yes, it's a miracle.
-And it's not the first one! They say she saved a little boy who was dying of...
-But... don't you think we should at least... go and... welcome her?
-Brilliant idea... but to be really effective, why not send a whole army of virgins?
-God... why of course -- we'd forgotten about him! Strange, I don't seem to remember seeing him at Agincourt.
-Damn right!
-I do love her when her fire gets well and truly stoked!
-There must be something we can do for her for Chrissakes!
-Yes. We can pray.
-This is no good!
-And... what does Jeanne think?
-We return to Orleans... across the bridge, at the Tourelles.
-But the bridge has been pulled down!
-Clear?
-You look disappointed... Isn't this what you wanted?
-No... not like this...
-Jeanne... let him do it. One more dead body's not going to make any difference, so who cares?
-Bravo! What about all the other hundreds of prisoners? Do we let them go too?
-Jeanne... The men are exhausted!
-I know, but so is the enemy -- they're falling back -- Paris is ours...!
-Jeanne... we're not enough...
-So... bring up the reinforcements!
-Right behind us -- Dunois with another then thousand men!
-Jeanne, look behind you.
-Do you know how to count?
-Of course I do? Bring them up!
-Jeanne... that is not ten thousand reinforcements -- that is one hundred very loyal but very tired soldiers.
-But... where is Dunois... where are the men the king promised me?
-He never sent them... Don't you understand? He doesn't want this war anymore... he has his crown now, that's all he ever wanted...
-But my voices... they promised me...
-Who told you to wear men's clothes?
-The clothes are not important...
-You also cut your hair short like a man, and in the Bible it clearly states that it is an abomination for a woman to pretend to be a man! It proves your desire to deceive...
-It was just... more convenient as I was among soldiers...
-So you think you did well to cut your hair and dress as a man?
-I... submit to Our Lord.
-But will you also submit to the decision of the Church?
-Tell us, Jeanne... why did you jump from the tower at Beaurevoir?
-I had been sold to the English. I'd rather die than fall into their hands.
-Did your voice tell you to jump?
-No...
-So when you jumped, you wanted to kill yourself?
-No...!
-How can you deny it when you just said "I'd rather die than fall into the hands of the English"...?
-That's now what I meant...
-Do you not know that suicide is a very grievous sin? No one is allowed to destroy the life that God created!
-I know, but that's not the way things happened...
-You mean it was not of your own free will that you were on the ledge?
-Yes, but...
-And you didn't jump of your free will?
-No!
-Stop it! What are you doing?
-Nothing... just taking his teeth.
-But you can't just kill a man for his teeth!
-Why not? He has good teeth...
-Besides, what about these...?
-Yeah...
-So who gave the order to bring me to this side of the river??
-Hey, my friend! I'm glad to see your ugly damn face again!
-La Hire, I'm warning you -- don't swear!
-Jeanne, let me introduce the king's half brother, the dogged Lord Dunois.
-Jesus Christ... the goddamn English will pay for this!
-What happened? Who gave the order to attack?
-God knows, but it was a bad idea!
-I swear I'll never swear again in my life if you save her life! But I'm warning you, if you let her die, then you're the biggest...
-Physicians are a waste of time. You'll have more luck with this charm of mine... it saved my life at Agincourt!
-Prepare these as battering-rams!
-What's the use? The drawbridge is up!
-We... won?!
-You call this... glory...? All this... this blood... this smell of...
-... the smell of victory, Jeanne! Mmmmmmm! I love it!
-Take mine instead -- here -- smash mine first!
-Jeanne... get up... this is ridiculous...
-Jeanne... the man hasn't been paid for six months -- that's his only reward. Let him take a few teeth...
-Jeanne, if you don't mind... I'll stay standing... this armor... it's a nightmare to get back up...
-You don't believe me anymore?
-When you were taken prisoner at Compiegne, did you have a horse?
-Yes... a half-steed... white.
-Who gave you that horse?
-My king.
-How many did he give you?
-Five steeds and a few hackneys...
-As much as for a Lord? What an honor! Did your king give you other wealth apart from horses?
-No.
-What about all those dresses you were given... silk dresses weren't they?
-Yes, I was given a few, but I never had time to wear them...
-Still, pretty wealthy for a peasant girl wouldn't you say?
-Jeanne... what are you doing?
-What have you done to me?
-Who... who are you...?
-Who are you to even think you can know the difference between good and evil? Are you God?
-I don't know... I thought...
-YOU THINK GOD ISN'T BIG ENOUGH TO DELIVER HIS OWN MESSAGES?
-I don't know... please... tell me I'm dead...
-WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE IF YOU SHOULD LIVE OR DIE?
-I... don't know... what do you want from me?
-What are you doing out here?
-I might ask you the same question.
-I... I'm leaving... I can't take anymore...
-And what exactly is it that you can't take anymore of?
-Everything! Prison -- humiliation -- being abandoned and betrayed by everyone -- I can't stand it anymore -- I'd rather die!
-You'll be dead soon enough anyway, so why be in such a hurry? Why not face up to your lies? It's your lies you can't stand anymore...
-I... I never lied!
-If you were true to yourself... if your faith was firm, you wouldn't need to run away from yourself like this...
-I am true -- to my Lord, the King of Heaven. He knows how much I love him -- that's all that matters to me...
-That's too easy. One minute you want to die, the next you want to live... Do you think that life is a toy that can be played with and then broken when you don't want it anymore?
-Oh? And just because you realize now, everybody else should forgive you?!
-I don't know -- I don't care anymore -- I just want to be at peace!
-Oh, so you don't want war anymore? You want to be at peace? You want to be able to change your mind anytime you feel like it and expect everyone to go along with it?
-I don't understand. What do you want from me?
-Why were you yelling like that?!
-What are you doing here? Please... leave... you can't stay here...
-Why? Are you waiting for someone else?
-Yes!
-My... visions...
-They're going to come and visit you in here?
-Yes... that's what I pray for...!
-I want to see that. Do you mind if I stay... on the side? I won't bother you.
-No, no -- you can't stay or they won't come!
-Why not?
-They won't come anyway.
-What do you mean, they won't come?
-Why would they?
-Because! Because I've always been faithful to God, and I've followed everything he said... and I've done everything he asked me...
-God asked you to do something?
-Yes... lots of things!
-You mean God said, "I need you, Jeanne?"
-No, but... he sent me so many signs!
-What signs?
-Like... like the wind... and the clouds... and... the bells... and what about that sword lying in the field... that was a sign...!
-No. That was a sword in a field.
-But... it didn't just get there by itself.
-I'm not lying, I... I can't remember... leave me alone!
-No! I don't want to know anymore! Leave me alone! I didn't kill that man!
-Stop, stop... I can't remember! The battles were all so confusing... there was so much smoke, dust, noise... I was being attacked on all sides, so... maybe... perhaps I fought back but it was only to defend myself...
-So your memory's coming back?
-Yes... yes! And now you tell me why God let all these battles happen in the first place... if he's so powerful... he said he's "the creator of heaven and earth, the source of all life..." he could have easily stopped all this blood and misery? Why didn't he?
-Is he the one who spread all this blood and misery?
-No, but... why didn't he stop it? Or did he get pleasure, watching us killing each other in his name?
-In His name??
-Yes! We fought and killed in His name... the King of Heaven!
-"Let all who love me follow me"... Where does God get mentioned? Come on Jeanne, be honest. You fought for yourself, in your name.
-I... I was defending myself as best I could! Everyone has the right to defend themselves, don't they? Or should I have let myself be killed?
-No, no, you did fine. I'd even say well done. Besides, most of the ones you killed probably deserved it, don't you think?
-No, I do not think so. I don't think that killing each other will ever bring peace.
-I don't agree. Why do you have to keep changing your mind all the time?
-Why are you doing this to me?? Do you get pleasure from hurting me?
-Ah, pleasure... that's a difficult word to define. When does the pain end and the pleasure begin...? When did your pleasure begin with that sword in your hand...?
-I never took pleasure in hurting anyone?
-I -- I cleaned up my room, look... and I said my prayers... all of them... and...
-What are you doing on the wall?
-I'm trying to make my cross look more beautiful...
-What for?
-Because... because I don't know what else to do to please him.
-Do you think this cross will protect you?
-"Love your enemies"...
-My voices... my voices... do you think they will ever come back?
-I don't think so.
-Are you going to leave me too?
-Yes... of course... when you don't need me anymore.
-There's nothing for me to do here anymore... I don't belong here I want to be with Him now...
-Yes I am.
-Are you willing to follow all His commandments?
-Yes...
-You know what you just signed, Jeanne? You just signed away my existence... For you I'm a lie, an illusion. You see? In the end, you were the one who abandoned me...
-You think you are ready now?
-Yes, my lord.
-You know I'm always happy to see you, Jeanne, but to keep coming here twice, three times a day...
-I need to confess.
-But you already confessed this morning...
-I need to confess again.
-I saw a poor monk without shoes so I gave him some.
-There's no sin in charity, Jeanne.
-They weren't my shoes. Mine were too small.
-Whose were they?
-My father's.
-I'm sure he'll forgive you.
-He already did, but I want God to forgive me too.
-Jeanne -- if we were to ask forgiveness all the time, we'd spend our whole life in church.
-Is that bad?
-Well no, but... Jeanne, are you happy at home?
-Oh yes... very.
-And your mother -- everything's fine with her?
-Good, good. And your sister... Catherine -- she's still your best friend?
-And what about your other friends... you don't like playing with them?
-So... everything sounds... wonderful?
-Yes, it is.
-Then... why are you here so often?
-I feel safe here. And it's where I can talk to him.
-Him?
-Well, I try and talk to him, but mostly he's the one who does the talking.
-Who is this "he"?
-He never says his name.
-Beautiful.
-He says... he says I must be good... and help everyone... and take care of myself. Do you think he's coming from the sky?
-I heard about your sister, and I... understand your pain...
-Why did she have to die?
-Only God knows the answer to that.
-I know Jesus says to love our enemies but I can't -- I just want the English to burn in hell for ever and ever!
-I realize your anger, Jeanne, but we must learn to forgive. It's hard, but revenge will never bring about peace.
-Then what will? And what will bring her back? And why did she have to die in the first place instead of me? Why didn't he take my life instead of hers? It was my fault -- I was late -- she gave me her hiding place...!!
-I don't want to wait for his call.
-Jeanne, be patient.
-I want to be with him always...
-Soon you'll be able to take the Holy Mass, and as you eat of his flesh and drink of his blood, you will be at one with him.
-I'm sorry, Mr Wladek, he wants you to stop.
-Why are you here, Mr. Wladek?
-Someone you know?
-A beauty. Who is she?
-A singer. Her husband's an actor. I knew them well. Good people. I'd like to talk to her.
-This is my husband. Wladyslaw Szpilman. Marek Gebczynski sent him.
-I'm going to get a doctor.
-You can't, it's too dangerous.
-I'll get Dr Luczak, we can trust him.
-Dorota, don't be ridiculous, he's a pediatrician.
-Hello.
-I came specially to meet you today. I love your playing, but what a day to choose.
-Who are you?
-My name's Dorota, I'm Jurek's sister. oh! You're bleeding.
-I nagged Jurek for weeks and weeks. And at last he gave in and said, 'All right, come with me tomorrow,' and so I came and they bombed the station.
-You know something? Meeting you like that was absolutely wonderful.
-Really?
-I've always loved your playing, Mr. Szpilman.
-Wladek, please.
-Oh, Mr Szpilman, you're quite... quite wonderful.
-Dorota!
-I didn't want to come, I didn't want to see all this, but I couldn't stop myself.
-How are you doing?
-Fine, no, not really, they arrested my cousin, but Jurek says they'll let him out. This is disgraceful.
-Don't worry, it won't last long.
-That's what I said, it's so - it's too absurd!
-Wladyslaw Szpilman.
-Dorota.
-Sit.
-I'm sorry - I was given this address. I'm looking for a Mr-- -- a Mr Dzikiewicz.
-I need help.
-He'll be back before curfew.
-I've been in hiding. I need somewhere to stay.
-How long have you been married?
-And how's Yurek?
-When's your baby due?
-What did I tell you?
-Will I still be able to play?
-Let me see this.
-To tell you the truth, I thought it would be worse.
-For what? For my tie?
-It's not going to be very comfortable.
-I'll be fine.
-Must feel better this side of the wall.
-Yes, but sometimes I'm still not sure which side of the wall I'm on.
-Get your things together, you have to leave!
-I'm on the run!
-What's happened?
-The Gestapo found our weapons. They've arrested Janina and Andrzej. They're bound to find out about this place, too - you must get away at once.
-Where do you want me to go? Look at me. No, no, I'm not leaving. Can't I take my chances here?
-Have you seen this?
-What's happened?
-Oh my God, it's terrible, you've got to do something, oh my God!
-Calm down, what, what is it?
-Halina?
-What?
-Funny time to say this.
-What?
-wish I knew you better.
-Henryk's in there.
-I haven't seen him.
-Believe me, they've picked him up.
-Tough luck.
-Can you help?
-Oh, you need me now, yes, now you need me!
-Can you help us?
-It costs.
-I've no money.
-Then there's nothing I can do. He should've joined us when I gave him the chance..
-Yitzchak, they told me you had influence.
-Who told you?
-We're recruiting.
-Who's recruiting?
-Don't be clever with me, Henryk. I've come here as a friend. They're bringing Jews in from all over the country. Soon there'll be half a million people in the ghetto. We need more Jewish police...
-Oh? More Jewish police? You mean you want me to wear a cap like yours, beat up Jews with my truncheon and catch the Gestapo spirit. I see!
-Someone's got to do it, Henryk.
-But why me? I thought you only recruited boys with rich fathers. Look at my father, look at us, I mean...
-Yes, I'm looking at you and that's why I'm here. Your whole family can have a better life. You want to go on struggling for survival, selling books on the street?
-Yes, please.
-And suppose they take the table away?
-What d'you mean, take the table away?
-The Germans go into Jewish homes and they just take what they want, furniture, valuables, anything.
-What's this about?
-And, please, tonight, for once, I don't want anything bad talked about. Let's enjoy our meal.
-Henryk, I said nothing bad.
-Boys, boys...
-They bombed us, we're off the air.
-Mama, that was a great dinner.
-No, no. Listen, I've been thinking --
-That makes a change.
-You know what we do? We use psychology.
-We use what?
-We leave the money and the watch on the table. And we cover it like this. In full view. The Germans will search high and low, I promise you, they'll never notice it.
-Of course they'll notice it. But look-- This is a good place for something.
-A good place for what? He's insane!
-But...they won't get all of us... we'll...it's too small...there's four hundred thousand of us in Warsaw!
-You sell anything?
-Just one. Dostoevsky. The Idiot. Three zlotys.
-That's better than yesterday.
-Three lousy zlotys. And there are people here making millions.
-I know.
-It's not funny.
-Well, you know what's funny? You're funny with that ridiculous tie.
-You go to Heller, did I ask you to talk to him?
-Did you beg, did you grovel to that piece of shit, that cockroach?
-I didn't grovel, I asked him to help.
-What did you pay him?
-Pay him? With what? With what could I pay him? Every zloty I earn we spend on food!
-I can look after myself!
-They were taking you away.
-It's nothing to do with you. It's me they wanted, not you. Why do you interfere in other people's business?
-You're mad, that's your trouble, you're mad.
-What's the matter? Are you sick?
-What's that mean, no employment certificate?
-You have to have an employment certificate to work for one of the German firms in the ghetto, otherwise...
-Otherwise what?
-What are you reading?
-Very appropriate.
-No one thought they'd hold out so long.
-should never have come out. I should've stayed there, fought with them.
-Wladek, stop that. It's over now. Just be proud it happened. My God, did they put up a fight.
-Yes, so did the Germans.
-They're in shock. They didn't expect it. Nobody expected it. Jews fighting back? Who'd have thought?
-Yes, but what good did it do?
-Ah, here. Today's news from the other side.
-You're amazing, Jehuda.
-No, I'm a socialist. I have brothers everywhere. They bring me news and food. We care about our fellow human beings. Workers of the world unite.
-So, what's the news?
-The Germans are advancing on Kharkhov.
-I don't know why I come here every evening, it's always such bad news.
-Jehuda, give me something to do.
-You're an artist, Wladek, you keep people's spirits up. You do enough.
-But I want to help, I want to.
-There are notices going up. The city's to be cleansed of undesirables.
-Five hundred. You know how many people on average read one copy? Twenty. That makes ten thousand readers. These will start the uprising. Majorek hides them in his underpants. And leaves them in toilets.
-I thought you'd be off on tour, playing London, Paris, New York?
-I have to say you look terrible. What's the trouble?
-You've heard the rumours they're going to resettle us in the East?
-Rumours, rumours, you take it all too much to heart, Wladek.
-I've been trying to get a certificate of employment for my father. I've managed to get certificates for me and the rest of the family but I need one more for my father. I've been trying all the firms, the shops...
-Why didn't you come to me?
-I didn't know you were in the certificate business.
-I'm not, but Majorek is.
-Can you help? I've no money...
-Jurek? Wladek Szpilman.
-Wladek! How are you?
-Fine, we're fine, thank you, and you?
-Fine, we're fine in the circumstances. But I can guess what you've called about. There's nothing we can do; they won't reopen the station--
-Yes, I know, but Jurek, Jurek...
-...not even music, nothing, no radios for the Poles. But I'm sure you'll find work, Wladek, a pianist like you.
-Puppydog, what d'you mean, you forgot?
-What d'you think I mean, Kitten? I forgot, that's what I mean.
-You know what? You treat me like dirt!
-I treat you like dirt because you are dirt.
-Pig!
-Cow!
-Pig!
-Bitch!
-Dirty pig!
-You're a dirty pig!
-If I play like an angel, why don't you listen?
-I was listening, Kitten.
-How long have you been here?
-They're going to start the final resettlement now. We know what it means. We sent someone out. Zygmunt. A good man. His orders were to follow the trains out of Warsaw. He got to Sokolow. A local railwayman told him the tracks are divided, one branch leading to Treblinka. He said every day freight trains carrying people from Warsaw forked to Treblinka and returned
-Have a favour to ask. I want to get out of here.
-It's easy to get out, it's how you survive on the other side that's hard.
-I tried your friends. They're not at that address any more. But.
-You made contact?
-Thank God - Wladek! You're wounded.
-It's a little cut, nothing.
-Pack, darling, get your things, pack.
-Where are we going?
-Out of Warsaw.
-And what do you think you'll do while you're setting up a new line of defence? Wander round lugging your suitcases?
-Pack, Wladek, there's no time.
-No, no, no, I'm staying put. If I'm going to die, I prefer to die at home.
-I'm sorry, I did my best, I thought the certificates would save us all.
-You don't remember me, Mr. Szpilman?
-No, I don't think so?
-Warsaw Radio. I was a technician. I saw you almost every day.
-Sorry, I don't remember.
-You don't want to worry about that. My grandfather was jilted by his girl friend when he got jaundice. In my opinion, jaundice is not very serious. Drink up.
-What the hell are you doing?
-I was... I was trying to open this tin.
-What's your work?
-I am... I was a pianist.
-Where are you hiding?
-In the attic.
-What's all that gunfire?
-What's happening?
-Are the Russians here?
-I don't know how to thank you.
-What about you?
-I've got another one. Warmer. What will you do when it's all over?
-I'll play the piano again. On Polish radio.
-Tell me your name. I'll listen out for you.
-Szpilman.
-Watch your feet!
-Careful! Watch his hand.
-Well you stopped combing your hair, which is a good thing, it was looking over done. You see these are the slits that the heads will go through, show him Nessie ... they'll be dead, the Reverend is going to use animal blood, no doubt it will be very dramatic. Tea!
-I can't imagine a fate worse than being dumb. Turn around.
-To be deaf?
-Ohhh, it's so dark, it's like a dank cave.
-Yes, like a cave.
-We have just come from George Banes' and they have taken him over. It is no wonder he is leaving, he has got in too deep with the natives. They sit on his floor as proud as Kings, but without a shred of manners.
-What would you think if someone played a kitchen table like it were a piano?
-Like it were a piano?
-I knew she was mute, but now I'm thinking it's more than that. I'm wondering if she's not brain affected.
-No sound at all?
-No, it was a table.
-Oh, yes, yes of course, a concern.
-There is something to be said for silence
-And with time she will, I'm sure, become affectionate.
-How are the lessons going? ADA nods enthusiastically. He's getting on all right? ADA nods again Good.
-He is quite altered, as if they had been trying some native witchcraft on him. Well tomorrow or the day after he will be gone.
-Baines is packing up?
-My REAL father was a famous German composer
-Ohh the tag is broken.
-I thought she met your father in Luxemburg.
-Well, yes, in Austria where be conducted the Royal Orchestra.
-Which mountains are those dear?
-The Alps.
-Ohhh I've never been there.
-One day when my mother and father were singing together in the forest, a great storm blew up out of nowhere. But so passionate was their singing that they did not notice, nor did they stop as the rain began to fall and when their voices rose for the final bars of the duet a great bolt of lightening came out of the sky
-Well, that is a strong opinion.
-I got the good wife for you Peini. She pray good. Clean. Read Bible. You sleep her Peini. She chief daughter.
-Don't answer, he low born. Jun look at him, mongrel. Your wife where she?
-She lives her own life in New Jersey, America.
-Go Peini ... Haere atu e Peini.
-I worry for you.
-No, I love her, we will be a family. I have her piano. I will mend it, she will get better.
-She looks tired.
-What's he say?
-Someone died here. It's tapu.
-They want more money. They are trying to make two days out of it?
-Those 80 acres, that cross the stream, what do you think of them?
-On your property?
-Good, flatish land with reliable water, why? I don't have money. What are you about?
-I'd like to make a swap.
-What for?
-The piano.
-You'd have to organise it up here.
-Yes, I thought that.
-Well Baines the music lover, I never would have known. Hidden talents George.
-I'll have to get lessons. It wouldn't be much use without them.
-T-w~e-l-v~e.
-Yes, why not.
-I'll have to come and hear you play. what do you play.
-I don't think you should have given up the piano. I will make sure you are properly taught, with music written on to sheets and...
-I don't want to learn.
-You don't want to learn.
-No.
-And what does this do to our bargain? I cannot afford the piano if you mean me to pay.
-No, no payment. I have given it back. I don't want it.
-Well, I doubt I want it very much myself.
-It was more to your wife that I gave it.
-Has Ada ever spoken to you?
-You mean in signs?
-No, words. You have never heard words?
-She has spoken to me. I heard her voice. There was no sound, but I beard it here . Her voice was there in my head. I watched her lips, they did not make the words, yet the harder I listened the clearer I heard her, as clear as I hear you, as dear as I hear my own voice.
-Spoken words?
-No, but her words are in my head. I know what you think, that it's a trick, that I'm making it up. No, the words I heard, were her words.
-Please take us to the beach where we landed.
-You have to wash them.
-Wash them again.
-She wants to see what you can do.
-I'd rather not play. I want to listen and learn that way.
-Everyone has to practice.
-He says you're not to see her or he'll chop her up!
-Quiet down! Shhh! Where is she?
-He chopped it off
-What did she say?
-She says, throw the piano overboard.
-What?
-She says, throw it overboard. She doesn't want it. She says it's spoiled
-What's in here then, lead?
-It's my mother's piano.
-Oh no, it can't come now.
-She wants it to come.
-We can't leave the piano
-Hello, then.
-What on?
-What does she say?
-She says it's her piano, and she won't have him touch it. He's an oaf, he can't read, he's ignorant.
-I know why Mr. Baines can't play the piano.
-You've missed this bit.
-And when is the next lesson?
-He's given it to us.
-Is it all right? Aren't you going to play something? ADA pulls up a chair and seats herself at the piano. She rubs her hands and places them lightly on the keys, she turns from habit over her left shoulder where STEWART waits crossed armed. Quickly she removes her hands, stands and gestures FLORA to play. FLORA proudly takes ~p the seat, she pulls
-Play a gig.
-Do I know any gigs?
-Mama.
-You the owner here?
-That's right.
-Lieutenant Snyder. Bunco.
-Joliet badge, Snyder. Don't cut much up here.
-I'm lookin' for a guy on the lam from a counterfeiting rap. Thought he mighta come in here.
-Don't think so. I know everybody in the place and I always bounce the lamsters.
-All right if I look around your lobby?
-Which way are the rooms?
-Who told ya this guy was in here?
-Nobody. I just know what kinda women he likes. I'm gonna check all the joyhouses till I find him.
-Maybe I could help ya if ya told me his name.
-I think I'll keep that to myself. Which way are the rooms?
-What are ya gonna do, call the cops?
-Visitation is still up by two at the three-quarters. Single Action second, Fasanella third.
-What's the line on Visitation?
-7 to 2. That ain't bad.
-Best we had was Cat's Eye in the second at Del Mar, and he was only 5-2. Not many longshots comin' in today.
-Yeh, go ahead.
-The wallet. You gotta go after him. He's got all the money.
-Give it to me! Please. I gotta know it's all there!
-You just sit tight, old man. We're gonna have to get you to a doctor. I'll call a cop.
-You wanted by the law or somethin'?
-Naw, it's okay.
-You're crazy carryin' that kinda money in this neighborhood. No wonder you got hit.
-Thanks. I'm obliged to ya, but I gotta get goin'.
-You ain't goin' nowhere on that leg.
-I gotta! Look, I run some slots down in West Bend for a mob here. I got a little behind on my payoffs so they figure I been holdin' out on 'em. They gave me to 4:00 to come up with the cash. I don't get it there I'm dead.
-It don't look good, gramps, it's ten of now.
-I got a hundred bucks for you and your friend if you deliver the money for me.
-I dunno. That little mug that got ya is mad enough at me already -- what if he's out there waitin' around a corner with some friends.
-He won't know you're carryin' it. C'mon, you gotta help me out.
-Sorry, pal. I'll fix you up, call you a doc, but I ain't gonna walk into a bunch of knives for ya.
-How bout you? I'll give you the whole hundred!
-If that punk and his pals decide to search ya, you'll never fool 'em carryin' it there.
-What do we do?
-You got a bag or somethin?
-No.
-How 'bout a handkerchief?
-Jesus, what a bundle. Did you know he was that loaded?
-Twist! When did you get back in town?
-Listen Duke, we're setting up a wire store. I need a twenty man boost right away.
-I got twenty or so in here tonight. Take your pick.
-These guys have gotta be the quill, Duky. We can't afford to rank the joint.
-Twist, you know this guy?
-Paltrow, Sterling, Furey, and the Big Alabama are in from New Orleans. Fiskin and the Boone Kid from Denver, and Phillips, Barnett and Limehouse Chappie from New York. Those and the guys outside should give ya 30 or so to choose from.
-Good, have 'em down at Stenner's old Pool Hall before 3:00. We're gonna run through the route tonight.
-Okay, Twist, but you know if this blows up, I can't do ya no good downtown. Gondorff is Federal.
-You're late. Where you been?
-I had some appointments.
-How much did ya lose?
-All of it.
-In one goddamn night? What are ya sprayin' money around like that for? You coulda been nailed.
-I checked the place out. There weren't no dicks in there.
-You're a con man, and you blew it like a pimp. I didn't teach ya to be no pimp.
-What's eatin' you? I've blown money before.
-No class grifter woulda' done it, that's all.
-You think my play is bad?
-...It's the only reason I ain't quit before now.
-What?
-I'm gettin' too slow for this racket. I done the best I'm gonna do. You hang on too long, you start embarrassin' yourself.
-What are you talkin' about? We just took off the biggest score we've ever had. We can do anything we want now.
-It's nothin' compared to what you could be makin' on the Big Con. You're wastin' your time workin' street marks.
-Hey look. You think I'm gonna run out on ya or somethin'? Just cause we hit it big. Luther, I owe you everything. If you hadn't taught me con, I wouldn't know nothin'.
-Aw hell, you sound like some goddamn sucker. You know everything I know. You got nothin' more to learn from me.
-But you played the Big Con. You said it was nothin'. A game for flakes and mama's boys.
-What the hell you gonna do with yourself?
-Straighten up, kid. I wouldn't turn ya out if ya weren't ready. I got a guy named Henry Gondorff I want you to look up. There ain't a better insideman alive. He'll teach ya everything ya gotta know.
-You'll take a cut of what I make, won't ya?
-I'm out, Johnny.
-If that's the way you want it.
-We'll put Salino on it. I need somebody careful.
-Salino? Why waste our best people on a small-time job like this? It ain't no heavy gee we're after. The guy's a five and dime grifter.
-Then why ain't he dead?
-They didn't think he'd be so cagey, that's all. They'll get him next time.
-And tell Cole I wanta see him when he gets in.
-He's not comin' in. Not to get bounced off a job anyway.
-Granger, this is Combs. Why haven't we heard from ya? Everybody else is in.
-We had a few problems with the Law this morning. The Mayor promised the Jaycees to get tough on the rackets again, so he shut everybody down for a couple hours to make it look good. Nothing serious, it just put us a little behind for the day.
-You been making your payoffs, haven't ya?
-Hell yes. He does this every year. There's nothing to worry about.
-Okay, finish your count and get it up here as soon as you can. I don't wanta be here all night.
-Believe me, the Man's gonna be real happy. Looks like we cleared over ten grand this week.
-We cleared 22 here.
-Well, hell, you got the whole Chicago south side. How do ya expect the eight lousy spots I've got to compete with that?
-I just got the count. We'll put the take on the 4:15.
-Buck Duff. I was in Maxwell's boost in Troy.
-You the Duff that didn't come up with his end when Little Jeff was sent up?
-Wasn't no problem a mine.
-He was a con man, wasn't he?
-He was a tear-off rat. He got what he deserved. No sense helpin' pay his bills.
-Hey, Luther told me he was carrying a wad, but I didn't figure this much.
-Which way did he do, Eirie?
-Straight north. He was gonna take it all and run.
-How do you like that Coleman, huh? After three years.
-Aw come on, it was the only thing to do. He knew he was holdin' ya back.
-We were partners. If it weren't for Luther I'd still be hustlin' pinball down at Gianelli's. I don't need anything more than I got.
-You ain't gonna have nothin' if you don't lay off them games of chance. There's a depression on ya know.
-There's always a depression on.
-If you saved a little, you wouldn't have to grift so much.
-I like griftin'.
-You could buy yourself some things. Clothes, or a nice car...
-I don't look any good in clothes and I don't know how to drive. What else ya got to sell, Eirie?
-I thought you blew all your money.
-What the hell you gonna do when Snyder rushes his finger right to Lonnegan? You're committin' suicide, kid.
-Aw Christ, it doesn't make no difference now. If Snyder knows about it so does everybody else. He never gets anything first...Damn, there's no answer at Luther's.
-Doyle, can I see you a minute?
-I'm busy, Floyd.
-It's important. We had a little trouble in Chicago today. One of our runners got hit for 12 grand.
-Which one?
-Mottola.
-No, we checked his story with a tipster. He was cleaned by two grifters on 47th.
-They workin' for anybody?
-I don't know. Could be. We're runnin' that down now.
-We got word from Chicago. They got one of the grifters last night. The nigger.
-What about the other one?
-They're still looking for him.
-Who's got the contract?
-Combs gave it to Reilly and Cole.
-Hackers.
-Name's Danny McCoy. No Neck McCoy we called him. Runs a few protection rackets for Carnello while he's waiting for something bigger to come along. Me and Danny been friends since we were six. Take a good look at that face, Floyd, cause if he ever finds out we let one lousy grifter beat us, you'll have to kill him and every other hood
-Yes sir.
-I've had it with that bum, Floyd. Stack me a cooler.
-You've only been playin three hours, Doyle.
-I don't care. Load me a deck. Set it up for threes and nines. I'll cut it in on his deal.
-What do ya want the others to get?
-I know I give him four threes. We can't let him get away with that.
-Looks all right. It's big enough and off the street.
-I don't know. This is kinda short notice. I'm not sure we can get it all done by Saturday.
-Been a while since I stocked a wire store. Not many mobs playing that anymore.
-All we need is the bookie setup for now. We'll worry about the telegraph office later.
-All right, I'll rent ya everything I got in the warehouse for two grand. That'll give ya phones, cages, blackboards and ticker gear. You supply the guys to move 'em. If you want a counter and bar, that's another grand. I don't know where the hell I'm gonna get 'em though.
-C'mon, you can do better than that. We ain't no heel grifters.
-You want the stuff tomorrow or don't ya? It's gonna take hours just to clean it up. Besides, Gondorff's still a hot item. Where am I gonna be if he gets hit?
-We bought ya a tap into Moe Anenberg's wire. He's got eyes at every track in the country. You'll get race results, odds, scratches, pole positions, everything; and just as fast as Western Union gets 'em.
-Does J.J. know how to use this thing?
-Turn the goddamn thing off, will ya.
-You sober?
-Glad to meet ya, kid. You're a real horse's ass.
-I'm sorry about Luther. He was the best street worker I ever saw.
-He had you down as a big-timer. What happened?
-Aw, I conned a Senator from Florida on a stocks deal. A real lop-ear. He thought he was gonna take over General Electric. Some Chantoozie woke him up, though, and he put the feds on me.
-You mean you blew it.
-Luther didn't tell me you had a big mouth.
-He didn't tell me you was a fuck- up, either. You played the Big Con since then.
-You gonna stay for breakfast, or do you already know how to eat?
-I picked something up on the way.
-Lonnegan after you, too?
-I don't know. Haven't seen anybody.
-Gondorff, you gonna teach me the Big Con or not?
-You didn't act much like you wanted to learn it.
-I wanna play for Lonnegan.
-You know anything about him?
-Aw right, he runs the numbers outta the south side.
-And a packing company, a chain of Savings and Loans and half the politicians in Chicago and New York. There ain't a fix in the world gonna cool him out if he blows on ya.
-I'll take him anyway.
-Why?
-You can't do it alone, ya know. It takes a mob of guys like you and enough money to make 'em look good.
-We'll get by without 'em.
-This isn't like playin' winos on the street. You gotta do more than outrun the guy.
-I never played for winos.
-You gotta keep Lonnegan's con, even after you spent his money. And no matter how much you take from his, he'll get more.
-You're sacred of 'em, aren't ya?
-Right down to my socks, turkey. If I'da been half as scared a that lop-ear, I wouldn't a fallen asleep on 'em. Lonnegan might kill me, but at least he won't bore me to death.
-Then you'll do it?
-He's not as tough as he'd like to think.
-He's waitin' for you in the card room.
-You just worry about your end, kid.
-How'd ya do?
-Everything go all right?
-No signs of trouble?
-What do ya mean?
-You know, somebody tailin' ya. A torpedo or somethin'.
-How 'bout Lonnegan?
-I gave him the breakdown just like ya told me to.
-And?
-He threatened to kill me.
-Then he drove me home. He tried to put himself away as legit, so I went right into the pitch.
-You think he'll show?
-Did he say he wouldn't?
-No.
-Why didn't you tell me about Snyder before?
-Well you found him again and we're gonna have to do somethin' about it. What else haven't ya been tellin' me?
-Nothin'. I told ya everything there is.
-Then why'd ya move outa your room?
-It was too noisy.
-You know how easy it'd be for one of Lonnegan's guys to nail you?
-All we need is a couple days, Henry. A couple days and we'll get Lonnegan down and stomp on 'em.
-You just won't learn, will ya. Hell, you come in here, I teach you stuff maybe five guys in this world know, stuff most grifters couldn't do even if they knew it, and all you wanna do is run down a bullet. You're just like all them new jerks. Lotsa nerve and no brains. And ten years from now when me and the others
-A couple days; that's all I'm askin'. I can stay clear that long.
-What's the matter, kid? You're not sayin' much.
-Just a little nervous, that's all.
-Take it easy, you won't lose him now. We had him 10 years ago when he decided to be somebody. Believe me, I've seen enough to know.
-How many guys you conned in your life, Henry?
-I better do some packin'. I'm gonna be a hot number again after tomorrow.
-Then why you doin' it?
-Henry.
-Yeh.
-I appreciate your stickin' your neck out. I wouldn't have asked ya if it weren't for Luther.
-You beat him, kid.
-You were right, Henry. It's not enough... But it's close.
-You wanta wait for your share?
-He's been taking the 8:10 Century Limited outa New York on Friday and getting in here early Saturday morning. He usually stays a day to check on his policy operations, and then flies back.
-Wonder why he doesn't fly both ways.
-The porters say he runs a braced card game in one of the cars. $100 minimum, straight poker. Last time he pulled in here ten grand heavier than he left New York.
-We'll use the wire. Never known a gambler who wouldn't like to beat the ponies.
-The wire is ten years outa date.
-All you gotta do is show up with some money and look like a fool.
-He's gonna hit ya with 20 grand, Eddie. How much cash we got?
-Not enough to cover a bet that big.
-Looks like he's sulking.
-What's the problem?
-Lonnegan's a fast egg, Henry. He's not gonna sit still for a standard play.
-I'm not sure I know it.
-You in?
-Yeh, I think so. I gave the kay- ducer a C-note. You find out the deck?
-He usually plays with a Royal or a Cadenza. I got you one of each. He likes to cold deck low, 8's or 9's.
-Look at that. He's got four apes with him.
-How ya doin'?
-Yeh, that'd be real nice of ya, Mr. Lonneman.
-Raise 500.
-See ya and raise three.
-See and raise five.
-Raise 300.
-Raise 1,000.
-See and raise 1,000.
-I guess I left it in my room.
-Never get enough, huh pal? I'd think you'd get tired of losin', Honnigan.
-The name is Lonnegan.
-I can't lay that off in time. We lose a bet that big, it could break us.
-If ya win it could make ya, too.
-A half mill on an eight to one shot. You're dumber than I thought, Lonnegan.
-She coulda killed me last night.
-Too many people coulda seen ya go in her room. She was a professional. Used to work in the Dutch Schultz gang.
-Who are you?
-Gondorff asked me to look after ya.
-How do I know you're tellin' the truth.
-Hi there, Snyder. Things a little slow down at the Bunco Department tonight, eh? Somebody lose the dominoes?
-You scored blood money today, Hooker. You need a friend.
-I'll tell ya what you did, smart boy. You tied into a loaded mark on 47th across from Maxies. You and Coleman played the switch for him and blew him off to a cab on 49th. If he hadn't been a numbers runner for Doyle Lonnegan, it woulda been perfect.
-You're crazy. I'm not stupid enough to play for rackets money.
-Not intentionally maybe, but that don't make no difference to Lonnegan. He'll swat you like any fly.
-I'll square it with the fixer.
-My end was only one.
-Excuse me, sir. Treasury Dept... I'd like to ask you a few questions.
-What for? I haven't done anything.
-We don't doubt that, but there's a counterfeiting operation passing bad money in the station. Have you made any purchases here today?
-Then I'm afraid we'll have to impound your money until we're sure that it's all good. Can I see your wallet and your ticket, please?
-But I got a train to make.
-It'll only take 20 minutes or so. You can pick it up at the window down the hall.
-But what about all these other people?
-I'm sorry, really I am, but my train leaves in ten minutes.
-All right, I'll give ya a break. Down that hall there, there's an unmarked door on the left. Go on in there and wait at the window. I'll take this... ...in the back and run it through right away. We'll have you outta there in a couple minutes.
-Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciate this.
-You done?
-Yeh, I guess I shoulda had the meat loaf.
-It isn't any better.
-Where's June today?
-She don't work here no more. I'm fillin' in for a couple days... till I can get a train outa here.
-Where you goin'?
-Meat loaf, apple pie and a cup of coffee.
-What time you get off work here?
-2:00 A.M.
-You doin' anything tonight?
-You got a back door to this place?
-No. What's wrong with the front?
-Look, I don't have time to fuck around. There's somebody out there I don't need to see. You got a fire escape or anything?
-No.
-All right, do me a favor. Go into the bathroom, open the window and wait for me there.
-What the hell for?
-What does this guy want?
-Looks like he missed ya.
-I, ah...thought you might wanna come out for a while. Maybe have a drink or somethin'.
-You move right along, don't ya.
-I don't mean nothin' by it. I just don't know many regular girls, that's all.
-And you expect me to come over, just like that.
-I don't even know you.
-You sure it'll be one of these two?
-Twist? I told him the tale. He wants to see ya.
-All right, when?
-Tomorrow, after 4:00. Stay inside, I'll come in and get ya. And be hard on him for a while; he's talking money.
-Les, I got Mr. Lonnegan with me. He wants to see you a second.
-What the hell's the matter with you. We coulda met at a club or somethin'.
-I thought it might be good for him to see the setup.
-Hooker!
-Ain't seen you in months, boy. Thought maybe you took a fall.
-Naw, just a little hard times, that's all. It's all over now.
-You sure you wanna start off that big? Bet like that could put a real dent in us.
-I feel lucky tonight.
-Aw, come on, Hooker, why don't you just...
-Your boss is quite a card player, Carver. How does he do it?
-He'll have to take a check. I couldn't find my wallet.
-Yeh, he knows that.
-What do you mean?
-You were set up, Lonnegan. Shaw's been planning to beat your game for months. He was just waiting for you to cheat him so he could clip ya.
-I could have you put under this train for this, errand boy.
-So could Shaw.
-Then why the rat?
-What's the matter? You gotta get back to Shaw?
-Naw, he picked up some jane in the bar. Can't see him till morning anyway.
-Why me? Shaw probably has lotsa enemies to choose from.
-I need somebody respectable...but not completely legit. What I'm gonna do isn't very legal.
-I'm a banker, friend. That's legit in this state.
-If you help me out, I'll pay ya back the money you owe Shaw, myself.
-That's worth fifteen grand to ya?
-You're dreamin', kid.
-660 Marshall Street. Tomorrow at 12:30, if you're interested.
-You should always look to the back too, kid.
-I was afraid you weren't gonna come. We haven't got much time.
-Get on with it then.
-Sometime after 1:00 a guy's gonna call here and give you the name of a horse. All you do is take this two grand across the street to Shaw's place and bet it on that pony. There's nothin' to it, but don't take too much time. We only have 3 or 4 minutes after you get the call.
-You're not gonna break him with a $2,000 bet.
-This is just a test. The big one comes later. Be careful with that though, it's all I got.
-And you were gonna pay me back?
-You really picked a winner, kid.
-Well, what did I tell ya?
-You're a lucky man, all right.
-Lucky, hell. I could do it every day.
-Why don't ya then.
-'Cause it's better to do it all at once. We're puttin' down 400 grand next week. At 5-1 we make 2 million. Twenty per cent of that is yours if ya stick with us.
-You stayin' in or not?
-I'm in.
-You got the 400 grand yet?
-Not yet, but... Hey, there's only a grand here.
-I think we oughta place another bet tomorrow.
-What is this? That's my money. You tryin' to muscle me?
-I gotta talk to me partner first. We can't afford to expose our game too much.
-Let me talk to him.
-No.
-What happened to your face?
-A week's a long time, friend. Anything can happen. All of it bad.
-What happened?
-I didn't get the bet down in time.
-Tell your friend I'll have the money here by post-time tomorrow. We'll take the first race where the odds are 4-1 or better. And make sure I can get to that window this time.
-How am I gonna do that?
-You want a drink or something?
-No.
-We want to talk to ya about Henry Gondorff.
-Don't think I know him.
-Well give yourself a couple seconds, crumb. You wouldn't wanna lie to me. Lt. Snyder here says you done a lotta griftin' in this town.
-You got nothin' on me.
-Look, I got nothin' against you, but you're in trouble here. All you gotta do is tell us when Gondorff's gonna play his chump. We come in at the sting, make the pinch, and you walk out free as a bird. No questions, no court appearance, nothing.
-You've already done time twice, and judges don't like three time losers. You wanna sit in the can for forty years, startin' tonight?
-I'll make parole.
-Will you wait until the chump is played?
-Hell yes. We don't care about the mark. He deserves what he gets.
-I mean completely played. Until he's beat and the score is taken. You come in before we beat him and I'll kill him. You'll have a tough time explaining that, won't ya.
-All right, Hooker, but you take it on the lam, and we'll shoot you down on sight.
-Can't do it. There're telegraph inspectors all over the place. I got 750 grand coming in from the coast, and I'm not gonna blow it for a lousy 14 gees. We'll get somebody else to do our betting.
-I could come up with 750 grand in a day if I had a reason to.
-But who says you will. I got a guy I can depend on. He's liquidating everything he has for this. You wouldn't even give Carver his money back.
-I need more proof, that's all. Anybody can get lucky once.
-On a 6-1 shot? The hell with ya. We'll keep the deal we got.
-If it works again tomorrow, I'll have a half million in cash here by noon the next day. We split 60-40.
-We were getting 50 from our guy.
-Yeh, and what if we play tomorrow and he doesn't come up with the money. We risk our whole operation for nothing. I'll say when we make our bets.
-Take it easy. Everything's all right. I put it on Syphon, on the nose.
-All right, Riley. What the hell happened?
-We missed him.
-You weren't hired to miss him.
-There wasn't any way he coulda known we was in there. We made a clean pick on the lock and didn't leave no footprints in the hall. Somebody musta wised him up.
-Yeh, and what does Cole say about that?
-I don't know. He took it hard.
-We'll take it. You manage the building at the end of the alley?
-For fifteen years.
-I'll need a room over there that faces this way. How much a week?
-Only rents by the month. Two hundred and fifty for the two of them.
-This is the last time I expect to see you down here.
-What is this? I got work to do.
-Do ya know him or don't ya?
-Yeh, but I don't know where he is.
-Well we do. He's chummin' around with a Big C named Henry Gondorff. Ring any bells?
-Sure. Every bunco man in the country knows Gondorff.
-There's word he's gonna run a con on the North Side here. We got a year-old Florida warrant on him, but it's a thin beef, and he can beat it in court unless we catch him cold. All we want you to do is pick up Hooker for us.
-Why don't you pick him up yourself?
-Cause the stoolies are used to street dicks jumpin' him. If word gets around that Feds are in on it too, Gondorff'll fold up the whole thing.
-Wouldn't that be too bad. You'd hafta move outa this nice office ya got.
-Don't crack wise to me, flatfoot. I spent a lotta time in dumps like this, eatin' Gondorff's dust while the bunco squad gets rich tippin' him off. But it's not gonna happen this time. We're not even gonna let the police know we're here. If you keep your mouth shut and do a job, there'll be a promotion in it for ya. And you
-What the hell good is Hooker to ya?
-He's gonna set up Gondorff for us.
-He'll never do it.
-Sorry. I don't know anything about it.
-Come on, gimme a break.
-Have the police got any idea where Wynant is?
-What about this Rosebreen?
-What's your next step, Nick?
-Right back to California. We've got to go home and rest up from our vacation.
-There's a physiological as well as a psychological angle in my father's relationship with Julia Wolf that the police have overlooked. And I think it explains everything. You see, my father was a sexogenarian.
-He was?
-Yes. He admitted it.
-Sexogerarian, eh? Yes. Yes. But I can't put that in the paper.
-Why not?
-You know how they are... sex...
-Then just say he was sixty years old.
-Is that what it means?
-I didn't know you invented that Smelting Process.
-All settled? Grand! Why did your mother ever divorce him? He's swell.
-Wel-l-l, it seems he has a secretary.
-Cheer up, darling.
-What's the matter, darling ... not sweet enough?
-Darling, your father's all right. He'll turn up in time.
-But tonight is Christmas Eve!
-He's just forgotten. You know he forgets everything.
-What could happen to him, darling? You mustn't worry.... What is it?
-Now don't say that -- he's just off somewhere working.
-Any luck?
-She's got me worrying, too.
-Don't start worrying about him. He's a good guy, but screwy.
-Why did that man want to kill him?
-Said he stole his invention.
-What?
-Nothing.
-How are you?
-Another young man.
-Well!
-That is, if it's all right with you.
-Mind if I look around?
-Oh, Andy.
-Don't cry.
-I can't help it. You don't know.....
-Darling, you can't go through any more of this. Now you get together your clothes and your skates and we'll go out to my family's in the country.
-I can't.
-You've got to get your mind off this.
-You're sweet, but the only thing that you can do for me is to go.
-Go!
-And don't ever try to see me again.
-What are you talking about?
-Please! You can't get mixed up in this.
-Do you think I care
-You don't understand. You don't know what's going to happen.
-I only know I want to marry you... right now, and --
-I can't marry you! I can't ever marry you!
-Dorothy!
-How would you like to have a couple of little murderers for your children? It'd be fun, wouldn't it? Maybe they'd murder each other... keep it all in the family. That's what Father should have done. He should have killed me and Gilbert... then we wouldn't have had this to go through.
-You're talking like a crazy person,
-Why not? I am crazy....the whole family's crazy.
-Dorothy.... listen to me. I love you. Don't you understand that? I love you.
-This is a pretty dead bunch, isn't it?
-You're high enough.
-Darling, don't cry. Please. I know it's terrible. But isn't it really better this way?
-How are you?.... Oh, I'm Mrs. Jorgensen now.... No, she isn't here. Is it about her father? Well, can I take the message?
-Give it to me.
-What is it? Has he found him?
-What is it?
-That isn't true. It was about your father. Where is he?
-He's all right. Isn't that enough?
-No.
-You just want money -- and you haven't any right to any more. He made a big settlement on you.
-That's gone long ago. I've got to see him. Where is he?
-Mother .... you couldn't do that. You couldn't go to her.
-I didn't say I would. But we've got to have money.
-Did it ever occur to you that Chris might work?
-Don't. It's horrible.
-You took that money from Julia's hand.
-I didn't.
-Then what are you hiding?
-It's a piece of evidence that's worth a great deal more than that.
-You hand that over to the police.
-I'll do nothing of the sort.
-All right, then. I'll tell them.
-I don't think you will. It's your father's.
-I don't believe it! You're lying!
-Oh!
-Mother!
-How are you? Here. Get under this.
-Is your father still in there?
-He's waiting for you.
-Did he tell you where he was going?
-He wouldn't say.
-He didn't do it -- Nick!
-Another Martini --
-You know, we know each other.
-Of course we do! We've been friends for years.
-Aren't you Nick Charles?
-Yes.
-Not that scrawny little....?
-Yes.
-How did you ever remember me?
-was fascinated with you.... a real live detective.... You used to tell me the most wonderful stories. Were they true?
-Andy... this is Nick Charles. He worked on a case for father.
-Yes. Some nut who wanted to kill him. How is your father?
-That's what I was going to ask you. he's disappeared!
-I don't know anything -- I've been in California for four years. What about his lawyer? Used to be a guy named Mac-- something.
-Macaulay.
-That's it... Herbert Macaulay.
-tried him once -
-Your father?
-How do you do? I'm sorry we have to rush.
-We're at the Normandie for a couple of weeks. Why don't you drop around?
-I just wanted to relieve your mind. Your father's alive and all right.
-Come on in.
-You heard about Julia Wolf?
-Yes.
-There.
-What are you trying to tell me? That you did it?
-Yes. I hated her for coming between my mother and father. She kept me from seeing my father. I went down there to ask her where he was. She wouldn't tell me, and I shot her.
-Where did you hit her?
-Why... in the heart.
-Pretty good shot you are. What did she do?
-She fell down.
-Did she make any sound? Didn't scream?
-I don't know.
-Which way did she fall?
-She... she fell over backwards.
-Where did you get this gun?
-I bought it in a pawn shop.
-Don't lie to me.
-Hello, Dorothy.
-Dead?
-It's been the same one for three months.
-Forgive me. How are you?
-He'll still be your son-in-law!
-You see how much we have to say.
-Mother's set her heart on a big church wedding.
-Yes, she would.
-I hate all that fuss. But I'll do it on one condition -- that you're there to give me away.
-What would your mother say to that?
-This is my wedding.
-Wouldn't it be a little embarrassing ... all of us there ... your other and me and your stepfather?
-He can stay home. Please, Dad, won't you?
-Wait a minute. When is it going to be? I'm leaving town tonight.
-Where are you going?
-It's a secret. I can't even tell you, my dear. I've got an important idea to work on.
-A new invention?
-Yes. And I don't want anybody to steal it from me.
-We were planning to be married right after Christmas.
-Oh, I'll be back before Christmas.
-It's a promise?
-How's your brother?
-I'd like to see him. Why don't you bring him down?
-You know how it is, Dad. He's sort of under Mother's thumb.
-I know -- I know --
-Like all the rest of us. Has this fellow... ...has he seen the whole family?
-And he still wants to marry me!
-Poor Dad, does that still bother you?
-Only in bad weather.
-But it isn't bad weather now.
-Better get home before it is.
-Goodbye, darling. Don't you dare forget... December 30th.
-You can take that out to the car.
-Going to run him through the fluoroscope?
-Yes.
-Do you mind if I come down and see it?
-Not at all.
-Shrapnel!
-Must have been in the war. That might account for the cane and his limp.
-What is it, Gilbert? Tell mother! What did he say?
-He said that father's in town. He's been seeing Julia right along.
-That woman!
-Did they find any clues... a gun or fingerprints or anything?
-Not a thing.
-Did you kill her?
-Gilbert!
-Why not? You had a perfectly good motive.
-Well, I've got my alibi. I was at the Public Library. Where were you?
-I saw him too... he was wearing a green suit with a white tie...
-What are you talking about, Gilbert? You weren't there!
-How'd you people happen to pop in?
-We hear this is getting to be sort of a meeting place for the Wynant family, so we figure we'll stick around in case the old man himself shows up. Then we seen him... ...sneak in and we decide to come up. And pretty lucky for you.
-Yes. I might not have been shot.
-I never saw him before.
-What's he want of you?
-Wanted to tell me he didn't kill Julia Wolf.
-What's that to you?
-Nothing.
-What'd he think it was to you?
-Ask him. I don't know.
-I'm asking you.
-Not without a warrant.
-Have you got a pistol permit?
-No.
-This gun yours?
-No.
-Who's is it?
-I'll have to try to remember.
-You oughtn't to play this trick on me. Running out when I was giving you time to rest up before I asked you those questions.
-You mean about that gun?
-Man to man, Mr. Charles, are you working on this case?
-So would I.
-What about the suicide?
-Oh, that's a phoney. The men didn't even have to go down.
-You've been there?
-No proof?
-Nothing yet to cinch it.
-Fifty will get you a hundred that he didn't do it.
-What do you mean?
-For one thing, he was too absent- minded to hold a grudge.
-Who's your candidate?
-I haven't got that far yet. But I don't think that everything points to Wynant. What about the alibis?
-They're all O.K. Mrs. Jorgensen, the boy, Dorothy, Macaulay... even Morelli... we had to let him go.
-What about Jorgensen?
-What about this Nunheim?
-Oh, he's all right. We know all about him. He does a little stooling for us every once in a while.
-Did you know he was hanging around Julia?
-No.
-He's holding out on you.
-Well, what'd you think?
-I think we're on the right track.
-Who're you calling?
-I'm calling your office so you can send out a man to trail him. I want to see where he goes.
-Trail him! Trail who?
-Get anything?
-I guess that cinches it, eh, Mr. Charles? He killed them both - Julia Wolf and Nunheim.
-Fifty will still get you a hundred.
-Just rolled them up and threw them in.
-Lucky thing for us they weren't in that lime.
-"D.W.R." That case you worked on... the guy who threatened to kill Wynant... what what was his name?
-Rosebreen.
-Could this be him?
-I never saw him. I don't think anyone saw him.
-He said Wynant tried to steal an invention.
-Yes. But we figured it was just blackmail...
-What're you doing here?
-Are you kidding?
-No.
-Why didn't you tell me? .... Why didn't you hold him?
-You mean that body-----?
-Shut up.
-When was the last time you gave her money for Wynant?
-Yesterday. I gave her a thousand dollars.
-I said he hadn't written me.
-Oh, then you did hear from him?
-Well....
-Well, what?
-He telephoned me today.
-He did!
-I wasn't in. My secretary took the message. He left word for me to meet him at the Plaza.
-When was that?
-About three.
-Did you go?
-I know he'll turn up as soon as he sees this in the papers. You can't think he had anything to do with it, Mr. Guild. He wasn't the kind of man that....
-Do you know what they fought about that night he went away?
-I didn't know they had a fight.
-There are a few things we want to check up on.
-I see.
-You say you were in the room with the body from the time you discovered it 'til we came?
-Why yes.
-Did you see anything in Miss Wolfe's hand?
-No.
-Are you sure you didn't leave the room... that one of the bellhops or maids might not have been in there alone?
-I don't think so. Of course I was terribly upset... I hardly knew what I was doing.
-That's all right. Well, we'll be going.
-Goodbye.
-You did!
-What kind of clothes was he wearing?
-A brown suit, brown shoes and a white shirt and a grayish tie with red, or reddish brown figures on it.
-That's ridiculous.
-Good morning --
-But he's interested!
-Do you think that Wynant did it?
-I think we may as well sit down.
-Mr. Guild means guests! Oh, there are two more to come.
-They'll be here. Don't worry. My men are picking them up.
-Have a shot?
-What's the idea of telling me you just knew the Wolfe girl by sight?
-She drives me nuts. She's been ragging me all day.
-Maybe if you quit running around after other women you wouldn't have so much trouble with this one.
-That's a lie, Lieutenant... Anybody that says that is a liar.
-Want to take a poke at him?
-You'd done better to have told me that in the beginning. Where were you the afternoon she was knocked off?
-You don't think I had anything to do with it?
-Where were you?
-Let me go! Let me bring her back. I can't get along without her. I'll bring her right back and I'll tell you anything you want to know. Let me go!
-I can't remember offhand, Lieutenant. Maybe I was over at Charlie's shooting pool. Maybe I was here. She'd remember.
-How'd you like to be thrown in the can on account of not remembering?
-Don't mind what she says, Chris.
-How can I help but mind? I'm constantly humiliated... just because I haven't money.
-I'll get some.
-You've said that for weeks.
-I know.
-Why don't you go to see Julia? She handles his money.
-Chris!
-All right. All right.
-I couldn't go near that woman.
-What are you going to do?
-Just what I said I'd do.
-You wouldn't do that... you wouldn't!
-Wouldn't I. Just watch me.
-and there she was lying dead. The police said she'd probably been killed about ten minutes before I got there.
-I thought you said you weren't going there.
-Why, you said...
-We're just having a little drink.
-Who's that man?
-He's not anybody. Just a fellow I used to know.
-I thought you'd given up that sort of friend.
-This is the first time I've seen him in years. I didn't want him to think I was high-hatting him.
-I don't like him.
-Don't worry. You won't see him again. What happened? Did you change your mind about going?
-No. I just came back for a second. I wanted to get those bonds.
-What bonds?
-The government bonds. The ones you took from the office safe.
-Oh yes. Why, you told me to sell them a long time ago.
-I'd never tell you to sell those. I bought them for my daughter.
-Don't you remember....
-Now see here, Julia. You're counting a little too much on my being absent-minded. You've been taking a little here and there for some time, and I haven't said anything about it. But this is fifty thousand dollars!
-Do you realize that you're accusing me of ....
-No one else had the combination of that safe. You took them. What did you do with them?
-What if I did take them? I'm sick and tired of seeing you hand out thousands of dollars to that family of yours....
-That's my business.
-I want that money right now, or I'll hand you over to the police.
-Go ahead!
-That's a fine thing to throw up to me after all I've been to you....
-Hello .... give me .... Well .... ?
-I'll give it back to you .... all I've got ....twenty-five thousand...
-You're going to return every cent of it!
-I can't! I haven't got it!
-What did you do with the rest?
-I never had it.
-Is there a Mr. Macaulay in the house? Oh, it's you.
-Oh, hello. Come on in.
-Good morning. I'm afraid this isn't a very "Merry Christmas" for you.
-Oh, he's sitting up.
-Asta - don't bother Mr. Macaulay.
-I got word from Wynant this morning...
-Oh, please, Nick.
-Did you get my money?
-I do wish you'd tell me where you're going.
-I'm not telling anyone.
-But suppose some business comes up...
-One hundred... two hundred... three...
-Never mind.
-I wish you'd count them. There's a thousand dollars there.
-I trust you.
-Isn't there anything else I can do for you? Have you bought your ticket?
-No.
-Well, let me do that for you.
-Thanks, and goodbye.
-What'll I do if something comes up?
-Settle it yourself. What have I got a lawyer for?
-Is Julia going with you?
-But what if you need more money?
-How are you?
-Hello, Macaulay. Come in.
-Dorothy told me you were here. I was going to telephone but....
-Nothing, thank you. Nothing. I wanted to see you... What's Mimi up to, Charles?
-Mimi? ... Oh, Dorothy's mother. Does she have to be up to something?
-She usually is. Trying one way or another to get money out of Wynant. I wanted to find out if you were er - er - --sleuthing for her.
-I haven't been a detective for four years.
-You don't say --
-My wife's father died and left her a lumber mill and a narrow guage railroad and a couple of other things. And I'm looking after them.
-I see. I see.
-What's all the fuss about? Is he in hiding?
-You know as much about it as I do. I haven't seen him in three months.
-No word at all?
-My wife.
-How do you do? What did you say?.... He is?.... Where is he? Very well. He's back in town.... Wynant. Thank heaven. He's waiting for me now. Forgive me, Mrs. Charles... but I've been so upset. It's no joke working for a man like that. I must be off. Goodbye.... Goodbye,
-How are you?
-I hate to bother you when you're laid up.
-What are the chances of getting you to do what he wants?
-It might.
-He gave me a code message to insert in the Times, in case I wanted to get in touch with him.
-I've done that already. He should appear, you know. It doesn't look well... his staying away at a time like this.
-Hello.... oh, just a minute. Police department?
-But it must have been Wynant. I should have known if it weren't his voice.
-I have no right to answer that.
-Oh, Nick... Nick!
-Hello, Mimi.
-Clyde Wynant's crazy... absolutely crazy to stay away at a time like this. No wonder the police think he has something to do with it.
-What do you think?
-Oh, I know he didn't, but I wish I could find him... I have something very important to tell him. Macaulay won't help at all. He thinks I just want money.
-Well, don't you?
-Nick, you will help me find Clyde -- won't you?
-Now, Mimi, there are a thousand detectives in New York. Hire one of them.
-But he knows you. All you have to do is get in touch with him, and tell him that Mimi says everything is all right... but that I've got to see him.
-I tell you again, I don't want any part of it. Now you take Dorothy home and...
-Dorothy! Is she here?
-Where's Gilbert?
-Chris may be at the club -- or somewhere -- I don't see that it's important --
-But he has nothing to do with it!
-I tell you -- he didn't do it.
-They'll want more than your word for that.
-This is all very pleasant but why are here?
-You did... where?
-Last night. He came to see me at my apartment.
-Oh, did he? What did he say?
-Because I don't believe that Clyde's dead! Why, you said yourself you saw him last night.
-Perfectly absurd.
-Nobody told me. I did see him!
-What did he pay you, Mimi, to stick to that story?
-It isn't a story - it's true. I did see Wynant. He's not dead.
-You're lying, Mimi. But then, you'd do anything for money. You're getting a good price for saying you saw Wynant and you figure you won't get anything if he's dead.
-I'm lot going to stay here to be insulted -
-I gotta talk to you. I want you to tell me something and I want you to give it to me straight. Get me?
-I've never heard about you.
-I didn't knock Julia off.
-All right - you didn't.
-I haven't seen her in three months. We were all washed up.
-Why tell me?
-I wouldn't have any reason to hurt her. She was always on the up and up with me. But that dirty little Nunheim -- he got sore cause I clicked with her and he didn't, so he put the finger on me.
-That's all swell. Only you're peddling your fish in the wrong market. I've got nothing to do with it.
-Listen. "Studsy" Burke told me you used to be O.K. That's why I'm here. Do they....
-How is Studsy? I didn't know he was out of stir.
-He's all right. He'd like to see you. But listen... What's the law doing to me? Do they think I did it, or is it just something else to pin on me?
-I'd tell you if I knew. But I'm not in this. Ask the police.
-That'd be very smart. That'd be the smartest thing I ever did. Me that a police captain's been in a hospital three weeks on account we had an argument. The boys would like to have me come in and ask questions. They'd like it right down to the end of their blackjacks. Now I come to you on the level. Studsy says you're on
-What's that?
-Morelli - You knew Julia. Was she gypping Wynant?
-She don't say she is, but I figure she is -
-Why do you say that?
-Once I wanted five grand -- Cash -
-What am I? The fall guy?
-So it's you he was after!
-Hello, baby.
-He's dragged me into every gin mill on the block.
-I had him out this morning.
-I thought so. He even tried to drag me into the gentlemen's --
-You might have mentioned me first.
-He's well-trained. He'll behave himself.
-Pretty girl.
-If you like 'em like that.
-You got types?
-Only you, darling... lanky brunettes with wicked jaws.
-Who is she?
-I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you. Dorothy is really my daughter. You see, it was Spring in Venice, and I was so young. I didn't know what I was doing. We were all like that on my father's side.
-By the way, how is your father's side?
-Much better, thanks.
-How many drinks have you had?
-Six Martinis.
-What hit me?
-I can't lie here. I've got to get up and trim that darned Christmas tree.
-Who's that?
-Come on -- relax -- Give them a drink.
-I'd better order some food. That sounds like an interesting case. Wouldn't you like to take it?
-I haven't the time. I'm much too busy seeing that you don't lose any of the money I married you for.
-Sounds like a good case. Girl mysteriously murdered. No one knows who did it. They haven't found any clues yet -- no gun -- no fingerprints --
-Isn't that my drink?
-What are you drinking?
-Where did you get that?
-She brought it in. Trying to make me believe she did it.
-What are you going to do with it?
-She didn't tell me a thing.
-Nick! Nick! Are you asleep?
-Yes.
-Good. I want to talk to you.
-That's jolly.
-Don't you think you'd like to go back to detecting once in a while, just for the fun of it?
-Can't you get to sleep?
-No.
-Maybe a drink would help you.
-No thanks.
-Everybody says you were a grand detective.
-They were kidding you.
-I'd like to see you work.
-That poor girl is in a tough spot.
-She thinks you can. It wouldn't hurt you to find out if you could, would it?
-Darling, my guess is that Wynant killed Julia and Dorothy knows it. And the police'll catch him without my help.
-I think I would like that drink. I'll give you your Christmas present now if you'll give me mine.
-But it's Christmas now.
-Breakfast.
-What are you going to give me? I hope I don't like it.
-Nick! Nick! There's someone to she you,
-You idiot! Asta! Stop that! Get down! Now, stay there.
-It's all right. It just grazed me.
-Someone get a doctor.
-There's one coming.
-Well, quick -- get into bed. Are you all right?
-Sure -- I don't even feel it.
-I'll be all right. Don't let's fuss till the doctor comes.
-Want a drink?
-I wish that doctor'd come. How do you feel?
-You're a fine watch dog.
-He's got more sense than you have. Thank Heaven you're not on this case.
-On it! I'm in it ... They think I did it!
-I never saw that before.
-No. It's a Christmas present.
-Who gave it to you?
-You did.
-Finished with these?
-I read you were shot five times in the tabloids.
-Hello... send him up.
-Who's that?
-Aren't you hot in that?
-I'm stifling, but it's so pretty. The Kirbys.
-Is that another Christmas present?
-Yes.
-Did I give it to you?
-Nick, listen. From Clyde Wynant! "Will you take charge of investigation on Julia Wolf murder. Communicate with Herbert Macaulay".
-Let's see. Where's it from?
-Philadelphia. Then he didn't do it, did he, Nick?
-I don't know.
-He wouldn't ask you to handle it if he were guilty.
-Your guess is as good as mine.
-Oh, it's a fire hydrant.
-Well, that's that. Stay there, Nick!
-It's not going to hurt me to get up.
-Sit down!
-You talk as if I were Asta.
-What's the trouble, Asta? Your balloon busted? So's mine.
-What's the matter with you?
-The mystery's all gone. And I wanted you to find out who did it.
-Maybe I will.
-But Wynant --- ?
-I don't believe he did it.
-Why don't you?
-No reason. Just a hunch. But I'm going to find out. I'm tired of being pushed around.
-So am I.
-This may be a little rough - you'd better let us go alone.
-I wish they'd stop that. It makes me fidgety. Do you think they'll find him, Nick? He must be in New York.... Where do you think you're going?
-I'm going to take Asta for a walk.
-He's just been for a walk.
-What's that? What are you up to? Nickie - what is this?
-Looks like a hold-up!
-What are you going to do?
-I've got hunch. I'm going down to look at Wynant's shop, I want to find out why it's closed.
-Why shouldn't be close it? He went away.
-He went away lots of times when I knew him - but he never closed his shop. I've got a hunch something is up.
-You mean, he might be hiding there?
-I don't know... This thing has got my goat. I've got to find out.
-Nick - I won't have you going down there.
-Say you're the one who got me in this!
-I know but this is different. He's a crazy man. He might kill you.
-I'll be all right. I've got Asta to protect me.
-Go on - go on - see if I care. But it's a dirty trick bringing me all the way to New York just to make me a widow.
-You wouldn't be a widow long.
-You bet I wouldn't.
-Not with all your money!
-You dog!
-Goodbye, darling.
-Nickie, take care of yourself won't you?
-Sure I will.
-Don't say it that way. Say it as if you meant it.
-Why, I believe the little woman cares.
-Back to California
-My soul, woman. I give you three murders and you aren't satisfied.
-I want you to stay and find Wynant.
-I did find him!
-What do you mean?
-He was down in the shop.
-Nick!
-It was his body that was buried there.
-Nick, you'd better lay off that liquor.
-That's a fact.
-Wynant's body?
-Yup. Don't you want something to eat?
-But they all said it was Rosebreen's.
-That's what they think... Guild and all of them. They take it for granted that it's just another of Wynant's victims. Guild's hot-footing it around now, looking for Wynant. That's all that troubles him.
-What makes you so sure it's Wynant's body?
-Several things. Hello, Fred. We're hungry again. Yeah, and lots of onions. Oh, and coffee.
-Nick, you'll drive me crazy. What things?
-Huh?
-What things made you so sure?
-Oh. Well, the clothes for instance. They were carefully preserved, and the body was just as carefully destroyed. The person who killed him counted on one thing... that all skeletons look alike.
-Well, don't they?
-You don't get another swallow 'til you really open up.
-How long has he been dead?
-Couple of months anyway.
-Then he couldn't have committed those other murders.
-Smart gal.
-Wynant dead? Does Dorothy know?
-I'm going to tell her.
-Hey... hey. Don't do that.
-But the poor kid's going crazy. She'd rather know her father was dead than that...
-I can't help it. I can't tell a soul. I didn't even tell Guild.
-Why not?
-I want to lie low till I get the whole dope. I don't want to go off half-cocked.
-What are you going to do?
-I'm going to get the real murderer. I've got an idea. Want to see me take him?
-Yes!
-Got a nice evening dress?
-Now Nick, what's that got to do with it?
-Got a nice evening dress?
-I've got a lulu -- why?
-I'm going to give a party, and invite all of the suspects.
-The suspects! They won't come.
-Oh, they'll come. I'll have Guild issue the invitations.
-Who do you think did it?
-Mimi...
-Mimi!
-You give such charming parties, Mr. Charles.
-I can't wait any longer. Tell me, do you think one of them did it?
-Yes.
-I wish you'd tell me who.
-Serve the nuts - I mean, serve the guests the nuts.
-You're going to drive me crazy!
-If that knife is missing, I'll look for it in your back.
-Is that true?
-I don't know.
-Why are you saying it?
-It's the only way it makes sense.
-I hope you're well.
-Come on out, now. He won't hurt you. Back to your old tricks, eh, Tanner?
-No, Mr. Charles.
-How did you get in here?
-I had a key. I worked here... till they closed the shop.
-You worked here?
-Yes, sir. Julia Wolf got me a job as bookkeeper.
-Well, that's a hot one. You a bookkeeper! When were you ever a bookkeeper?
-That time you sent me up last ... I learned book-keeping at Sing Sing. I figured it might be an in for me somewhere's.
-Somewhere's where they might go out and leave the safe open?
-Honest, Mr, Charles. I never touched that safe. Them bonds that were missing... Julia took them.
-Trying to put it off on her?
-Mr. Charles - she did - that's why he got sore at her and killed her. Listen, Mr. Charles -- I did do a little chiseling. I come to bring it back and fix up the books. I didn't want him to find out and come after me -
-You can save that and tell it to the police. They'll be here in a minute.
-I'm sorry. Tanner, don't you want some wine?
-That's what Mr. Wynant said to me. If she re-married, all the money was to go to the children.
-Nick Charles here?
-Yes. Nick!
-You his wife?
-Yes.
-Was he a good detective?
-Well, congratulations.
-I'm going to give her a wedding present. Thought I'd better do it now, before I forget it. I can drop them on my way to... That's funny.... Where are those bonds?
-Bonds, sir?
-I know I left them there.
-Maybe Miss Wolf has them.
-Maybe she has.
-You're forgetting the check for your suitcase. It's at the Grand Central.
-I'm sorry... but...
-Two weeks work gone for nothing.
-I just wanted to tell you...
-Where are you going?
-Home!
-Home?
-I'm fired.
-Who fired you?
-You speak English? DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH!?
-Where were you going?
-Baghdad.
-What's in the other direction?
-This road, it leads straight to Kuwait.
-Turn the car around.
-Please, I beg of you. The American army is there. I am Iraqi. They will kill me.
-Think we're going to do it? Think we're going to war?
-...And it's very important when you sit down never to point the soles of your shoes at anyone. It's considered offensive.
-Like learning Arabic? You're gonna learn Arabic you might as well learn were we can get something to eat around here.
-Well, based on my knowledge of the region, its culture and her people I would have to say it's a box.
-Paper.
-What's it say?
-It's a map, I think that's what it is.
-A casual one.
-Damn, this is sweet. We are going to be home in no time.
-You're out of your minds, you know that? Both of you. You don't even know if there's anything out there. What the hell are you thinking?
-Yeah! Welcome to beautiful Iraq. Land of enchantment and riches.
-What?
-I know you think this is crazy, but a couple of hours from now you're going to be one rich dude trying to buy up every other puzzle box out there.
-Why, yes, Jaeger. I believe it is.
-What are we going to do!?
-They stopped.
-Wha...
-They shouldn't have been here.
-We shouldn't have been here, Epps. There is a war going on!
-This is miles from the battle lines. They were probably deserters.
-Deserters would have run, they wouldn't have engaged.
-What are you doing.
-You two fighting's not going to get us anything.
-Maybe we are crazy for doing this. But if we do it, we do it right. I just needed to explain that in a way I wouldn't have to do it again.
-Not much chance of that. Jaeger's an idiot.
-He's not so--
-He's an idiot, and he's not nearly as hard as he thinks.
-What kind of mine?
-I don't know, and I wasn't about to mess with it.
-Should have blown already. Delayed fuse, that's Vietnam stuff.
-We've got rope?
-For climbing.
-What if it's a Valloro 69? Just going to bounce right up out of the ground, explode in the air, kill him and us.
-You just go when I say go.
-Ready?
-All right. Let's get out of here.
-There's nothing we can do.
-I don't want to see people killed any more than you. But we try to help out we die, and all we do is die.
-We can't just go off and--
-All we've got to do is make it to the top.
-And find the treasure, and get it, and get back to the Humvee, and get the hell out of Iraqi without getting our heads blown off, but that's about it.
-Not much of a pass.
-Probably was a couple of hundred years ago when whoever drew the map came through here. Worn down to nothing now.
-The US Army: Always an adventure.
-Should be easy going from here. Stay on the pass straight to the dot.
-What do you figure it to be?
-Otherwise whatever we're looking for could be anywhere.
-Where'd they go?
-I don't know. There's a lot of space up here. They could be just about--
-And they can't fly around out there forever.
-Missile!
-All right. Let's break out some utility shovels, lanterns, and a claymore in case we have to do any blasting. Me and Jaeger'll climb down, and see what we can see.
-What am I supposed to do?
-Epps!
-I don't think the line will take the weight of a man and the coins. Wes!? We'll send the gold up, then me and Jaeger'll climb back.
-You ready?
-It'll be too dark to make our way back now. Let's bed down for the night and head out at first light.
-What about the gold?
-What about it?
-Maybe we should split it up now.
-We started this together, and we're staying together, so there's no point in splitting things up now.
-You're the one with all the ideas.
-You've had your say, Wes. Now leave it.
-Maybe you've got ideas of your own for the gold. Maybe you've already got things worked out.
-Maybe I do.
-You got no reason to do that!
-You got no reason to hit me. I'm getting tired of you and Jaeger pushing me around.
-Get off him.
-He snuck in here thinking we were asleep, only I wasn't sleeping. Would have slit our throats if I hadn't stopped him.
-What happened?
-Stop it!
-Says they were deserters, they were afraid to fight, don't believe in Saddam anyway. They flew the gunship up here to hide out. When they saw us they figured we were going to kill them, so they shot first.
-Says he wanted food. Liar. He wanted the gold.
-How's he going to want the gold? He couldn't even know we had it.
-I don't care what he says, he wanted our gold. Would have slit our throats if he had the chance.
-We can't just leave him. He'll run back to his outfit, report our position...
-You said he was a deserter.
-That's what he says. He could be a spy, or something.
-You don't know that.
-You're out of your mind.
-He's an enemy soldier.
-I'm not going to let you kill him.
-We are not at war! You and I and Jaeger are AWOL. We have no authority--
-I'm not going to leave him be just so he can stab us in the backs the minute we turn around. I have been through too much to lose it all now just because the two of you don't have the stomach to do what has to be done.
-I've got no stomach for murder.
-It's a combat action.
-It's murder, and I won't be any part of it.
-Then step aside.
-No.
-You've got an awful lot of orders in you. Always giving orders.
-I out rank you, that's why.
-We been down this road. I told you how it is. Unless you feel like there's something you want to do about it...
-No navicom. A lot of good you are now, Epps.
-Lot of good you were when I was sinking in the sand.
-Without that navicam looks to me like you forfeit the right to be in charge.
-I'm the one's got the big stick.
-Suppose I don't go for that?
-Then I suppose it'd be insurrection, and I suppose I'd have to kill you. I suppose.
-What about Jaeger?
-In the flack jacket. Still like getting hit in the back with a baseball bat. Took the air right out of me, but I was just unconscious for awhile. 'Course, you didn't stick around to find that out. You left me for dead.
-Wes, we thought you were dead, and we thought we were next. Hanging around to get killed wouldn't have done anyone any good.
-Sure, and I guess it was just convenient there was one less person to split the gold with.
-Wes--
-Thanks for taking care of this for me.
-You disappoint me, Epps. Always figured you to be a man; a real bright guy. I had respect for you.
-That why you tried to put a bullet in my head in the middle of the desert.
-They'll kill you. You won't make it ten feet before they cut you down.
-Just keep quiet.
-I have to answer him.
-So you can give us away?
-Give it to me!
-Looks like at the end of the day we finally find out who's better than who, don't we, Epps? Like I said; I expected more from you.
-At-at-at-at-at. At-at-at-at-at.
-What are you doing?
-At-at-at-at-at.
-Knock it off!
-Don't get pissed at me, just 'cause I want to be ready when this war starts.
-Ready for what? What are you supposed to be doing?
-I told you, I'm shooting Iraqis.
-You know what? I think you got Schwarzkopf. You did! You got the General right in the ass. Now that's good shooting.
-Blow me.
-Don't worry about Jaeger. He uses his personality as a form of birth control.
-Oh, man, you're not going to fall for that.
-There might be something in there.
-Yeah, the deed to the Brooklyn bridge.
-This is stupid. It's going on a month now. How long are they going to let the Air Force piss on those bastards? They can bomb them all they want, Saddam ain't going anywhere without a ground assault. What the hell is the army waiting for?
-Why you in such a hurry to get to shooting?
-You all want to lay off? God. I hope the Iraqis shoot me; put me out of my misery.
-What!? What!?
-You think?
-They finally start the ground war, and where are we? Same place we've been since we got here. Securing freedom for the dirt.
-Everybody's got a job to do. Figure it this way: At least you get to go home alive.
-Don't even. You're not going to show me that tired map.
-I think you've got some issues to deal with. Really, when we get out of here I'm pretty sure it's shrink time for you.
-Just listen to me! I've been doing some reading. In the Sixteenth century this region was invaded by the Turks. It became part of the Ottoman empire. When the Turks rolled in they raped, they pillaged, the usual stuff. Anybody who had anything wanted to hide it from these bastards. They buried their treasures, drew maps, and hid the maps in puzzle boxes. I
-Wellllll, if you read it it must be true. Was it in the Star, or the Enquirer?
-And you know what that area is? It's Iraq. IRAQ! We're doing a little thing with them right now; Desert Storm. Maybe you've read about it.
-It's war. People get lost all the time in war, cut off--
-We disappear for awhile. We disappear, we came back; nobody knows nothing.
-It's going to be cool, Wes. It's all all right.
-Now this is war.
-You're such a pussy, you know that? How'd you get in the army?
-But that's the great thing about Gold. A little goes a long way.
-Third. What you're going to do with your third.
-Yeah. I meant... You know what I'm going to do with it? I'm going to buy a Sixty- three 'Vette Stingray. All tricked out and cherry. I'm going to be so sweet.
-You're getting gold, and you're going to blow it on wheels?
-What are you going to do with your <u>third</u>?
-Invest it.
-Oh, that's fun.
-It's not about being fun. It's about being smart. You take that money, you take care of it, let it grow, and you don't ever have to do anything again. Ever. That's freedom. That's what I'm talking about.
-And I'm talking about enjoying myself.
-Take the binoculars.
-Wh-what do you think--
-Shut up! Both of you shut the hell up!
-We've got to do something. We've got to turn around.
-They'll shoot us!
-We run they'll shoot us anyway. If we keep driving they might think we friendlies; Iraqis. Or even if they know we're Americans they might get scared, think we're part of a detachment and keep on going.
-They're not going to--
-Figure they don't want to mess with us anymore than we want to mess with them.
-Steady it out!
-She okay?
-Yeah. Yeah, she's fine.
-What?
-I'm just thinking, you know, if the rest of the boys knew what we're doing. I mean if they knew what we were coming back with.
-You can't tell anybody about this.
-It'd make their heads explode.
-Look at it. LOOK AT IT! Shot to hell. It's been leaking gas since the fire fight. I told you to check for damage.
-...I know.
-And you missed this? How are you going to miss something like this?
-What do we do with the Humvee?
-SAY IT!
-Hey...hey! Slow up. You don't have to go so fast.
-Faster we get there, faster we get back.
-I'm gonna...I'm just gonna stop for a little water.
-Don't drink up all of yours, 'cause you aren't getting any of ours.
-What!?
-What?
-You didn't step on any mine.
-I heard it click.
-If you stepped on a mine you'd be dead by now. Nobody uses delayed-fuse mines anymore.
-Oh, God! Oh God!
-Just be cool.
-It's a mine, isn't it?
-Just relax.
-How'm I gonna relax standing on a mine!?
-Where you going?
-Me and Wes are just going to talk.
-Why you got to move away to talk!?
-We're going to be right over here.
-You're moving away because it's going to blow up, isn't it!? It's going to blow up!
-There's a way.
-I said nobody dies. Nobody dies.
-My leg is falling asleep.
-It's not falling asleep. You've only been standing there for three minutes.
-I'm the one who can feel my leg, and it's falling asleep.
-How's this going to work?
-Me and Wes each going take an end of the rope, run our asses of, and yank you off the mine.
-You're going to be fine.
-When we start running suck up your breath. You're going to get the wind knocked out of you.
-You're going to blow yourselves up.
-Wes is right. If there were any more mines we would have found them. Hell, that one you stepped on was probably old anyway; left over from the war with Iran.
-You don't know that. It could be a trick.
-This. Whatever it is.
-You're not losing trust, are you?
-I didn't have to stop anything, 'cause nobody was going to do nothing. We're in this together, understand?
-I don't hear any--
-Don't!
-It's a fire fight.
-Iraqis. A bunch of them.
-Well, it's Iraq. I'm not sure, but I'm guessing that has something to do with them being here.
-They're doing more than slapping.
-Not enough. We're out numbered and out gunned. They'd cut us to shreds.
-X marks the spot.
-Something like that.
-But the white dot in the middle; that's got to mean something.
-Where is it? Where'd it go?
-Stay low.
-Where the hell is it!?
-What are we going to do? What the hell are we going to do?
-We're not going to do anything.
-They're going to kill us!
-If they land--
-Think there might be more Iraqis?
-A whole lot of nothing.
-What are you doing?
-What does it look like I'm doing?
-It looks like you're not doing anything.
-I'm not. And I'm not doing anything, because there's nothing down here.
-Get up and dig.
-We've been digging. We've been digging for hours. If there was anything here to find we would have found it.
-Must be a compartment.
-Maybe we should blast it loose with the claymore.
-It's just a mongoose.
-Is it dead?
-It's not like I figured. It's cold. And it's heavier than I imagined.
-I wouldn't know. I never imagined this. Not in my whole life did I ever imagine this.
-Wait.
-What?
-We send the gold up what's to stop him from taking off and leaving us down here?
-He's not going to leave us.
-Why do I have to stay down here?
-Jesus, Jaeger.
-I don't see how that plan's any better.
-All right. You go up, I'll send up the gold, then follow.
-What the hell took so long.
-Just had to get the pack unhooked from the line. It didn't seem that long.
-Wes might be right about that.
-We should head Northeast.
-Northeast? That's away from the Hummer; further into Iraqi.
-There's another pass on the photo. We can avoid that narrow one we had to cross on the way up, and it should get us back down.
-It should, or it will? Least going back the way we came we know what we're up against.
-What are we going to do? How are we going to find our way back!?
-We'll find our way.
-How!?
-We got to go back. We got to go back for Wes.
-Forget Wes.
-We can't just leave him.
-Wes is dead!
-What if he's not?
-No.
-No.
-What do you mean no? They can fly us home.
-They'll ask questions; want to know why we were out here.
-We'll lie.
-First Wes, now you?
-I'm not like Wes. Wes was crazy.
-And you; you've got it all together.
-I don't want it this way. I wouldn't kill you just to kill you, but I can't let you lose the gold for me. Not when we're so close.
-I'm sorry about that, Epps.
-I'm glad I didn't have to kill you. I'm glad it didn't come to that.
-Yeah. Well, me too.
-I never killed anybody before. I talk a good game, but I'm not like that.
-Sure.
-Really, I'm not. Remember how I was talking I wanted to blow away all those Iraqis? That's all it was was talk. I was scared out of my mind to go to war. I still haven't gotten over stepping on that land mine.
-You still got a map on you?
-Epps?
-Yeah.
-I don't want to die.
-Makes two of us.
-I know what I did just now was crazy, but you got to understand how much I want that gold.
-It's all right. I don't like it, but it's over now.
-Sorry.
-What do you think our chances are?
-Wonder how the war's going?
-We can't just sit here. We've got to start moving, so pick.
-I pick that way.
-Getting cold.
-It's a desert. That's what deserts do at night; they get cold.
-Epps...Epps! I'm gonna stop for a second.
-No!
-Just let me rest for a second.
-We've got to keep moving while there's still light.
-You know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to take a second. I want to look at the gold.
-Don't you touch it.
-I just want to look at it. Remind me of what I'm dying for.
-The deal was no one touches it until we get out of here.
-What do you figure it is?
-Place all alone like that? Must be a boarder check point.
-Which boarder? Saudi? Kuwait? Syria?
-We can head back for our lines, and they don't even have to know about the gold.
-Well?
-Well, we should identify ourselves.
-Even if they are Iraqis probably all they'll do is take us prisoner for awhile. Got to figure we're still kicking their asses in the war. They don't want any trouble.
-That's if the war is even still going on. Way things were shaping up it's probably long over.
-What did you say?
-I don't know. Something Wes had taught me. I think it means "Don't shoot. We're your friends."
-Oh, God...
-They must have thought we were Iraqi when you yelled to them. They couldn't tell in the dark.
-Slip out your M-16.
-And then what?
-And then shoot them.
-I...I never killed anyone before. I told you that.
-Can't you--
-Don't go bitch on me now! You were going to kill me. Kill them!
-I just said I would. I don't think I--
-An Iraqi?
-What do we do?
-To where?
-What do we do?
-What do you make of them?
-Shi'ites, I think.
-Is that good, or bad?
-I don't know. They killed Wes.
-Why haven't they killed us!?
-I don't know!
-...Maybe...maybe we can fight our way out.
-With what? Against how many?
-We can't just sit here waiting to die.
-You come up with a better plan, let me know.
-...Wes...?
-I didn't say that. I never said--
-Can you ride a horse?
-Which way do we go!?
-Damn it. We lost the horses.
-The...the gold...
-It wasn't the gold. It was the claymore mine. The gold's in my pack.
-When did you make the switch?
-It's always been like that. When you left me down in the crevice to send the gold up I figured I'd better...take precautions. I rigged it to blow if anyone opened the pack. Just in case somebody thought they could do better on their own.
-But...
-We had a deal. No one touches the gold until we're out of here. No one breaks the deal, no one had anything to worry about.
-What if it hadn't been Wes? What if...I mean, accidently, what if I had...
-Well?
-A car's got to come along sooner or later. When it does, we jack it.
-How do we do that?
-You lie in the middle of the road, look like you're hurt. When the car stops I run over to the driver and put a gun to his head.
-Why do I have to lie in the road?
-Somebody has to.
-Yeah, but why me? What if the car doesn't stop?
-Epps.
-Yeah.
-I want you to know... I don't know. I just think you're a hell of a guy.
-Thanks.
-This whole time, you've kept your head. You didn't go money simple like me and Wes. You've just been trying to figure how to get us out of here. And you've been fair too. I mean, even after I...you know...
-Threatened to blow my brains out?
-Yeah. Even after that. You didn't take it out on me, except for maybe making me lie in the middle of the road now. But I'd say you've been very fair. I just think it's a hell of a man who can keep from going money simple.
-Epps?
-What?
-I'm thinking about taking a trip.
-Thought you were going to buy a car.
-Still am. There's more gold than I thought, and since there's only two of us now... Where should I go?
-I don't know.
-I've never been anywhere. I wouldn't know where to go. Where would you go?
-Australia.
-What?
-I'd go to Australia. Lot of land, not many people. I think after this I'd like to quit people for awhile. And the girls go crazy for brothers down there.
-Really?
-Well, this is it. We get the car, find some Americans. We find Americans we'll be all right.
-Epps, I don't think he's slowing down.
-He's not slowing.
-Woods.
-Hey, Jaeger. What's up.
-I'm looking for a favor. I need a map of Iraqi.
-That shouldn't be too hard to read. Iraq is the pink thing.
-Planning on going to war all by your lonesome?
-Just...want to be ready when we do.
-Ready for what? Sight-seeing?
-Some good ones.
-They're all good ones. Satellites we've got can snap a shot of the boil on Saddam's ass.
-Could you stop, please. You're giving me a headache.
-A headache?
-Yeah, a headache. My head hurts. You're making me uncomfortable.
-I'm making you uncomfortable. Baking away in a desert in the middle of nowhere facing three-hundred-thousand screaming Iraqis with nerve gas scud missiles, that doesn't bother you. But me making a little noise is driving you out of your skull.
-Yes. Yes. That's exactly it. Yes.
-We ought to kick their asses anyway. Even if they do get out of Kuwait we ought to kick their asses.
-I don't think we'll go to war. We shouldn't even be here. This isn't our fight, it's a regional conflict. It should be decided regionally.
-People are suffering.
-When do you ever point the soles of your feet at people?
-I'm saying don't do it accidently.
-Come on. You're going to get us in trouble.
-It was an accident. You saw it was an accident.
-Spanish wasn't hard enough?
-What does that mean?
-Don't shoot me, I'm friendly. You can use that when you surrender.
-How do you say "Come here, baby. I'm horny." I can use that now.
-What is this?
-Now you need me.
-He says it's a box.
-Yeah, you're funny.
-It's a puzzle box. If you can figure out how to open it there's supposed to be a treasure inside.
-And you're the guy who's going to open it.
-You get it yet?
-Naw, nothing.
-You will. You'll get it.
-I'll show Epps. He'll be sorry when I get this thing open.
-You really think there's a treasure inside?
-Jaeger?
-What?
-You know the fifteenth is the deadline for the Iraqis to get out of Kuwait.
-Yeah. So?
-That's in two days.
-Like I said; so?
-They're cancelling all leaves, all passes. No more drills. We stand at full ready starting--
-What's your point, Wes? You have a point?
-We're going to war, aren't we. If they're doing all that it must mean we're going to war.
-It doesn't mean anything.
-Jaeger?
-What!?
-You ever think about dying?
-Come on, man. I almost had this thing open.
-You ever think about it? You ever worry?
-At-at-at-at-at.
-This is so weird. It's happening, but it's not. It's like a TV show, and we're part of it.
-The longer the air force hits the Iraqis, the safer it'II be for us when we have to engage.
-It's...it's...I don't know what it is.
-That's it. It's over. Eighteen hours into the war and it's over.
-We...we could go home with something else.
-What?
-You're not saying what I think you're saying. I can't believe you're even thinking it.
-It's right here. This region; an-Nagaf. I got recon photos. There're no troops there, no fighting--
-You don't know where the Iraqis have moved to. And our forces haven't even engaged the Republican Guard yet, we don't know--
-It's about a hundred miles from where we are now. How long do you think it would take us to--
-It's not a hundred miles. It's a hundred miles through three different kinds of terrain: Pure desert, mountains, a river. If the map is even real.
-It's real. I'm telling you, it's real.
-Epps, you're smarter than this. Jaeger I understand, but you're smarter.
-You know it's real. You know it's real, and you know it's there. You know it.
-God! I don't believe I'm doing this. I don't.
-We're going to get court martialed, you know that.
-Epps, is that a sand dune.
-Hey, Wes, what kind of treasure you figure these people buried?
-If! If there's a treasure.
-Yeah. If. Whatever. What kind you figure it is?
-I don't know. It would be small, easy to transport and hide. Gold or jewels. Probably gold.
-Yeah! Gold! How much?
-If there's gold. If!
-This is too much. You don't even have the money and you're wasting it.
-Iraqis.
-Oh, God!
-Two vehicles. They're not supposed to be here.
-Oh, Jesus!
-Yeah! Yeah!
-I think I'm going to throw up. I am. I'm going to toss.
-I thought we were dead.
-Yeah, well, we're not.
-We have to go back.
-We're not going anywhere. Not 'til we get what we came for.
-So, you just let us drive on knowing we were losing fuel? Knowing we were going to run low in the middle of nowhere?
-We're not stranded. We've got enough gas in the other reserve to get us back.
-Then lets go back while we still can.
-You two don't even know how crazy you are. You want to go on your sick, little treasure hunt then go ahead, but mark me absent.
-You have to go with us, Wes.
-Really? What is that, an order, <u>private</u>?
-Epps...
-How long we going to keep this up.
-Until we're out of the mine field is how long.
-Haven't found a mine for half a mile, or more.
-That don't mean nothing. Iraqis could have just spread them out like that; make us think we're in the clear.
-If all we wanted was the map out of you we could have taken it while you were standing on that mine pissing on yourself.
-I'm getting tired of you riding me, Jaeger.
-Jesus! What the hell did he do that for? They're Iraqis. Why are Iraqis killing Iraqis?
-Is there anything you do know?
-So?
-We're American soldiers. We don't abandon people.
-Funny you should say that while we're out looking for gold.
-You're the one wanted to kill Iraqis so bad.
-Think we can make it?
-Maybe they're as scared of us as we are of them.
-What do you think?
-It's got a bottom.
-You down?
-Yeah, we're down.
-What the hell are you doing!?
-With what? He doesn't have a weapon.
-Says he's one of the soldiers that was in the helicopter.
-Maybe we should give him some water.
-All last night he could have been--
-I think he wants something to drink.
-So we'll take him with us. At least 'til we get back to the Hummer.
-Maybe we ought to...you know, bury him. Say some words over him.
-You're going to burn up in those.
-Think the Iraqi's killed them all?
-When my Shi'ite friends saw that they had shot an American they were very apologetic. Turns out we've been kicking ass in this little war. They figure we've finally gotten Saddam off their backs. They brought me to their camp, cleaned me up, fed me... I'm their new best buddy. America number one, Joe. But there's something the Shi'ites can't figure out: They can't
-We had to take shelter in the checkpoint. Jesus, Wes, I killed the Iraqis in there.
-I can't hear him.
-Cortex bonding....possible temporary. Before you report a possible equipment malfunction, you check the subjects....?
-Stress category.
-Correct. Origin?
-Birth born....UMMM...Sexact.
-Drug evasion with....
-triple three, triple three! easy.....
-Drug evasion with assorted perversions
-A sinex drop reading of less then 2000 degrees with an accompanying loss of greater then 350 degrees since admission may indicate....?
-Permant cortex bond.
-HUMMMM.....
-What happened?
-Hurry up.
-4732...?
-Control ON.
-4000 degrees is usually the point of....?
-Vocasity
-I'm not hungry.
-No, your going to eat it, or it will go to waste.
-What's this? Why did you change it?
-You've seen enough.
-You know I don't feel well.
-What did you get?
-I have to see SEN. I've just been given a shift change.
-When?
-Now.
-Now?
-He wants me to come to his quarters.
-I don't know.
-Don't go.
-I have to... he's a G-34
-You don't have to... I don't trust him. You ought to file a report.
-Then why did you bring it up?
-I haven't done anything.
-I've never been under the table before.
-Look,dirt!
-That's not dirt...Can't be dirt.. Dirt is a violation.
-Look, food!
-That's not food. Can't be food.
-Now...now, I'm sorry...don't - don't....please. It's just... I was happy. Why get me involved? You told SEN that you weren't satisfied with me.
-I was so scared...I didn't know what would happen with you...once I started. I almost let you go on so many times. It will be worth it, together. When I was alone, I knew.
-What time is it?
-What?
-I said what time is it? How long was I out?
-It's 3+27 hundred
-Three! I'm going to be late for my shift.
-No! Don't go.
-They'll come for me right away if I'm not there. I have to go.
-Don't take anything.
-I'll try.
-What are you doing here? Is anything wrong?
-No....I though I'm afraid.
-You slipped on a T297 transfer just before lunch, didn't you?
-What?
-What do you think you're doing? You're going to get us arrested.
-I can't go on like this. I can't.... I don't just sit around and watch people. If I make a mistake, it's all over. You see it every day. Do you want to see me taken away in pieces?
-What are you doing?
-If you....if you go back on sedation, you won't feel the same way about me. You'll report me for drug evasion.
-I couldn't turn you in, not now. I....I know I wouldn't!
-You don't know. You don't....
-If I take something, you suffer. If I don't, I stuff....
-I know you can do it without sedation, You can, I know you can.
-Then what? It can't go on forever. You know it can't.
-It's all right now, shhhh it's all right.
-Are you all right?
-They know. They've been watching us. I can feel it.
-They don't know.
-They're watching us now.
-no...no, no.
-Oh, THX... hold me, hold me, THX holds her tightly, tears in his eyes. They kiss, and LUH hides her head in THX's chest.
-It's the end.
-I'm not afraid...I'm not afraid.
-THX!
-Then why are they holding us here? Why don't they destroy us right away? Economically, it's not sound at all. Very much unlike....
-You always manage to avoid the issue: What's wrong with our present condition? We're COMFORTABLE and we have plenty of food...I feel absolutely no threat because there is no threat. Why incite trouble? You should examine your emotions. It is senseless...
-But we need a creative dissent. Our voices are not joined in any harmonious chorus, but the differences are differences of emphasis, not of fundamentals. Now, the new alignment's greatest need is to communicate with all its elements, rather than march along in parallel line that never converge. Tomorrow as we focus the new movement more clearly, we will gain a new unity.
-Good Lord!
-There goes another of your disciples.
-I thought you were through with it!
-What's going on....what are you doing?
-We're leaving.
-What?
-We're leaving.
-Who? Who's leaving?
-THX and me.
-I can just barely see him. I think he's leaving.
-He's coming back for the rest of us. He can't make it alone.
-Wait! I'll talk to him.
-That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
-We must escape. We have plans. We can leave. We must wait until...
-I can't see him at all. He's been destroyed.
-How far did you go? Was it cold?
-Well?
-Out of a random selection of 150 locations with 150 possible sightings, there were 146 absolute negatives and four conditionals, most of which occurred in the early familiarization stages of the experiment and can be largely discounted.
-Not very encouraging.
-I've got it! Astounding!
-What?
-I'm sure it's warmer in her than outside, though. I haven't been out yet, but it usually is...the control is fouled...
-Where is LUH?
-Why did you have LUH come here?
-Why are you so concerned?
-What's going on?
-I want you for my roommate.
-Where's LUH?
-I don't understand. Living....selection is computed. You can't... What have you done to LUH? She was here..
-We had a long talk and she agreed that it would be a good idea for you to switch. She felt that you had not been accurately mated to her in the first place... You're upsetting yourself. Would you like something?
-You're in violation.
-I won't have another mate like ONA. You rate very high in sanitation. I've checked. In fact, I am surprised that you were ever matched with LUH. Her ratings are very erratic - you know what I mean. We'll be happy.
-What are you doing here? You're not cleared for this area!
-You know I have a way with the computers. I can clear myself for any area.....almost.
-I'll report you. It's....
-Listen to me....You have no need to distrust me. We're going....
-I'm leaving.
-I'm leaving.
-When?.....How?
-Right now.
-What?
-What are you doing here?
-I was lost.
-...and you're not lost now?
-Which way?
-How do you know?
-We've lost SEN!
-What?
-Lost SEN! He'll never find us.
-...it doesn't matter. The rest of it just didn't happen.
-What are you talking about. How do you know? I need her! I need her. She needs me. I've got to get to her.
-Maternity ward, huhh!
-We'll never make it through that mainway...I wonder what happened to SEN. I'm crazy! This whole thing is crazy...What am I doing? My mind is full of so many things I can't think of anything, anymore. Who are you?
-Who? Me?...I don't know.
-What kind of answer is that?
-I don't know.
-You have to!....I'm 1138 THX Magnum manipulator 347 cell 94107 Precinct 3 Residence: Level 6421 Complex 12 Ramp 5. Roommate 3417 LU...H.
-Oh, That! I'm 5555 SRT Entron..
-What was that....
-Must be an expressway.... You don't have to stay here, you know....
-What have you done, Cut your hand?
-Would you like part of this? ....It's not much.
-This one has eyes. Why did they leave your eyes? Could you ever....
-I knew him.
-Soon he'll be a plastic cube.
-That's not it.
-She's not there
-No...... She's dead THX........
-You don't know that!
-Remember this...?
-Where's LUH?
-No...no you're wrong.
-I'm sorry.
-What do you want?
-Just look at all those people.
-Yes.
-Yes
-Yes.
-My mate has been acting very strange. I can't explain it.....but. I haven't been feeling very well myself. I don't know, maybe it's me. I needed an SP9 last night. I feel as if something odd were happening to me. Something....
-Yes.
-....I'm taking SP5, but it doesn't seem strong enough. I have a hard time concentrating. Please forgive me, I slipped on....
-....with me? What am I to her or she to me? Nothing. She's an ordinary roommate. I..I share...
-Yes...
-...rooms with her. Our relationship is normal, conforming. We share nothing but space. What is she doing to...
-Yes...
-You are engaged in an unauthorized procedure. Check cybernetic manual F-45. If you do no have an F-45, you are in violation. This is a double A restricted precinct. Remain where you are. Authorities will arrive shortly.
-May I help you?
-I'm looking for the Bomb Squad.
-They're not here.
-Where are they?
-And you are...?
-Officer Reilly, vice.
-There out on a call, perhaps I can help you-
--Where?
-f 2600 block of Lakefront. A limousine. But, I-
-Hey, that's the guy-
-How's the print coming?
-One partial from the handle matches the suspect from last night. Name's Carl Taylor. Long record of arson, assault, the works. The other print - we got nothing from our data base or the FBI or CIA... still waiting for Interpol.
-Coffee, Mike?
-Dispatch, this is Reilly.
-Go ahead.
-Patch me through to the Bomb Squad.
-Aren't you on suspension?
-Just do it.
-Who the heck're you?
-Where did you get this?
-High-grade det cord. This girl, either she's got strange taste in jewelry or she's into serious demolition.
-Sorry about that. That's an inch of the stuff, imagine what the whole thing'd do.
-Alright, let's check it out.
-What're you talking about?
-When you need us, you love us, when you don't, we're shunned by the rest of the department.
-What was-? Why...?
-What?
-This isn't bumper cars, it's brain surgery. You wanna work with us, you do it our way, understand?
-Now wait just a fucking-
-By the way, I'm Glass. This is T.J., and Pooch.
-We don't use the b-word. Bad luck.
-So you're the "Device Squad"... and you defuse "devices"?
-Treat. We treat devices.
-Anything else I should know?
-I.R.A. device. Deadliest class of tickers in existence. Computerized, multiple sensors, booby traps, the works. First showed up in a series of I.R.A. bombings in London couple years ago. One of their boys tripped it on himself and they went back to a less complicated timers. The Girl, is she Irish?
-She's not talking. But, she could be. So, obviously, you've seen one of these devices before?
-Only once, at Redstone.
-Nice performance back there. Where'd you learn that, Mike Ditka Sensitivity Seminar?
-Hey, look--
-No you look, mister! First, you don't go calling my men names. It's bad for morale. Second, us "punks" happen to know a heck of alot more about police work than any vice cop ever did.
-Oh yeah? Prove it.
-The place has already be combed. Forensics pulled over a hundred sets of prints inside.
-So what were they doing here?
-I don't know. You tell me?
-An abandoned machine shop... nice place to build devices. Low rent, too. But, you and Rice ruined their perfect hideout.
-You mentioned something called Redstone.
-Redstone's the army training center in Alabama where they send the cream of the crop to learn about tickers.
-Cream of the crop, huh? You?
-Top of my class at West Point, thank you very much. Then off to Redstone. First half of the course we learned how to build devices... second half, we'd take them apart. Everything from firecrackers to hydrogen bombs.
-Sounds like terrorist heaven.
-There were a few guys in my class with names like John Smith, Bill Jones. I'd see them up ahead in the hall, call their name, but they wouldn't turn around. C.I.A. Funny thing, they'd always disappear after the first half of the course.
-Just how easy is it to build a... device?
-Typical profile, usually losers, nobodies that're afraid to confront their victims. They like scaring people. That's why they call in their threats. Same mentality as obscene phone callers.
-Except they'll blow you up if you don't play along.
-This is where the van was parked.
-Yep.
-Then, it's gotta be here somewhere ...
-Look, it's a longshot...
-Nitro-cellulose. What is that, some kind of explosive?
-How long are we going to stay?
-Not bad for Bomb squad, eh?
-What not bad. You've got a series of bombs, devices, that may or may not be connected, set by one or many nutjobs, who may or may not be linked.
-Right.
-You guys seem pretty tight.
-We've gotta be. In this business, you don't exactly make alot of outside commitments.
-Why do you do it?
-So cut both.
-One shuts it down, one turns arms it.
-Which one's which?
-How long were you hooked?
-What?
-Pittsburgh, two years ago. Partner died, no back-up, I was too gung-ho. As usual.
-Take a tip from the Bomb Boys, always assess, if only for a second.
-I know. I was working a drug ring, deep cover. Played the part too well. When they pulled me out, I wasn't a cop anymore. My fiance had dumped me. Next thing I knew, I was out here on the street, doped up, auditioning for the morgue when this tough old vice cop found me, cleaned me up, gave me a second chance. He
-Your partner?
-I terrible with mechanical things.
-It's working.
-Ex-girlfriend?
-What's up?
-Where you guys at?
-Driving in circles, waiting for-
-Catch that alert? That's him in the U-Haul.
-How do you know?
-Cuz he got the girl, now he's leaving town.
-Should we head for the Interstate?
-Would you?
-No, I'd slip out past the hotel district, behind Greyhound...
-Glass, Eighth Street, alley behind Grand Hotel. Cut him off.
-Fuck factor?
-Off the scale.
-Talk to me. Let's assess.
-C'mon, talk to me! We can do it!
-Good, now the other side.
-Nothing.
-Keep talking.
-Wires... metal, cold... something soft...
-More metal... sharp edge...
-Something round, two wires ...
-That's the blasting cap - good! Okay, now grab it by the base and pull it straight up. No, Wait...
-What's wrong?
-Too easy. There's gotta be something else in there, another cap maybe.
-Yeah, another round thing.
-Okay, one of the caps turns it on, the other shuts it down.
-Which one's which?
-I don't know.
-What... ?
-When in doubt, pull the yellow wire.
-How the hell do you feel yellow?
-Assist? What the hell you know about tickers anyway?
-What do you think?
-Call upstairs, see what you can find out.
-Right.
-Whadaya mean?
-It's from an IRA.
-Hey, matches are a very big thing in our line of work.
-"Punks", huh?
-You got it.
-Political.
-Any word?
-No, we're terrorists, stay back or we'll blow.
-Bev, you're the greatest...
-Yeah, he's helping us work up a profile on this thing.
-We've lost brothers too, we know what that's like.
-C4, plastic explosive.
-Computer device?
-Glass, what is it?
-Relax, Pooch, it's just a ticker, it's not personal.
-Lane oil...
-What do ay say?
-Alright!
-Jesus...
-Cover. It was suppose to be abandoned buildings, y'know. No one was suppose to get hurt. The night you busted us...We were checking to make sure there weren't any vagrants around. Scare them away.
-Who is he?
-Alex Swan. My brother. The other two are called Taylor and Leveau.
-There is a motel downtown, near the Machine Shop... the Suncrest. Room 138.
-Thank you.
-Then why tell me?
-You okay?
-Alex-
-What is that?
-What's the matter?
-Why are we stopping here?
-No... No more killing.
-Stay here.
-Alex, please.
-Who are you calling, sis?
-Alex, please-
-Drop it.
-I want to work this.
-You're vice, not homicide. Besides, you don't have the experience and you're too personally involved.
-Looks like the stuff my dad used to use to blow up tree stumps back in Scranton.
-What the hell was that?
-You touch me again and--
-You were lucky today, vice boy. Captain said to leave it alone, but just remember, I'm watching you.
-Prints?
-Nothing so far.
-What about the ballistics report?
-It's a bluff. The guy's full of crap.
-What the hell's going on?
-Son-of-a-bitch... my nose... This fuck-up is interfering with-
-I'm filing charges against that mother-
-He is!
-Nitro, dash of Semtrex, vegetable oil ...
-Unsolved bombings in the last year... Boston, New York, Philadelphia... but no real match
-How're you guys doing?
-Mike. No thanks, I'm fine.
-That guy's wife must be pretty pissed off to play a trick like that.
-Vice... Jesus.
-Pooch, can you move it?
-Good boy, Schnoz. Daddy loves you.
-Fuckin A, I think I got two partial prints here!
-That's one more time than any of the rest of us have seen it.
-Oh shit...
-Know what the problem is, kid? You're too ugly to get propositioned.
-Look who's talking, old man.
-Next week we work the park.
-I gotta get back on top. Get off the sleaze detail.
-So what'll you do? After they give you the gold watch.
-Hell, I got a gold watch... it just don't work. Maybe they'll give me a new fishing pole, or something useful.
-You don't fish.
-How hard can it be? The grand kids been buggin' me about taking them camping.
-You outta the city... that's a fish out of water. What's with all this family talk lately, anyway?
-One of these days you're gonna get tired of fighting the shit. When that happens, you'll wish you had family.
-Why don't you just shoot it and put it out of its misery?
-What are you talking about, it's purring like a kitty.
-I thought you said what's-her-name's brother was going to fix it.
-She didn't work out, had to cut her loose.
-What was it this time?
-We're vice, I didn't see no pimps or hookers in that van. But if you're so gung-ho, we'd best call it in for some back-up.
-You okay?
-Mike...
-Don't talk.
-It don't work-
-Reilly, Vice. I-
-Make an appointment.
-P.E.T.N ...
-Vice cop on a homicide?
-Device.
-A what?
-Got it! Ace Match Company, Flint, Michigan.
-T.J., what're you doing?
-So what're we looking for?
-Someone who smokes French cigarettes.
-Looks like Pooch's doing okay.
-Nice to be here.
-Captain...
-Reilly, what the hell happened out there? Why didn't you call for back-up?
-Take it down to the Bomb Squad, Artie-
-What?
-I'll do it.
-Goddamit, Reilly--
-Look, I saw these guys, I can i.d. them.
-I know you're anxious to get back but... just stay out of homicide's way or I'll have you classifying fingerprints, understand?
-Sir...
-What's this?
-Report on the case so far.
-You know after a shooting I would normally take your badge and weapon, but Glass called in already and confirmed it was clean.
-Yes, sir.
-Yes, sir.
-She's refused to say a word to anyone. What made you think you could get her to talk?
-Glass, sorry about Pooch, he was a good man. We don't have time to give you a break right now, we're going ahead and-
-My God, you're going to use her, aren't you?
-Glass, you're to stand by with your team.
-I promised her she'd be safe.
-It's our only option.
-It won't work, he'll know it's a trap...
-Reilly, you're done for now. What the hell were you thinking directing the Bomb Squad Team into hot pursuit. They had no business-
-I know.
-Reilly, what the hell are you-?
-Fire me later. Close in and we got the bastard.
-Reilly, what's happening? Reilly! Reilly! Do not engage. We're five minutes-
-What? I may lose it again? But I haven't found it yet! I'm sorry. Goodbye! Yes?
-So you lost a handbag, madame?
-Yes.
-And it had diamonds in the back.
-Yes.
-And diamonds in the front.
-Yes.
-Diamonds all over.
-Well, have you found it?
-M'sieu Laval, Madame would like to talk to Mademoiselle Gautier for a moment.
-Pardon me, m'sieu. Madame Colet would like to see you in the living room.
-M'sieu Laval, M'sieu Filiba would like very much to see you.
-on staircase; from Gaston's point of view. He stops.
-Yes, M'sieu Laval?
-M'sieu Giron is downstairs.
-Tell M'sieu Giron I can't see him now. Impossible! And, Jacques. Dismiss the car! Madame is not going.
-still studying the vase. Mariette appears. He turns to her.
-Is this what you mean, M'sieu Laval?
-No!
-Eleven o'clock!
-With the compliments of Colet and Company!
-The representative of the police wants to know how much money you had, M'sieu Filiba.
-Why did you let this man in, M'sieu Filiba?
-And then what happened, M'sieu Filiba?
-The representative of the police wants to know if there is anything wrong with your tonsils.
-No!
-<u>Niente!</u>
-What did you talk about?
-About tonsils.
-<u>Tonsili!</u>
-Pardon me, m'sieu, but I have the feeling we have met somewhere before.
-I'm sorry, but I don't seem to recall the occasion. No, I'm afraid ...
-Yes, M'sieu Filiba?
-I wanted to say goodbye to you.
-Goodbye, M'sieu Filiba.
-But before I say goodbye I want to ask you one question: Have you ever been in Venice?
-No.
-You've <u>never</u> been in Venice?
-No ... Have <u>you</u> ever been in Vienna?
-No.
-Amsterdam?
-No.
-Constantinople?
-No.
-You've never been in Constantinople?
-No!
-But you <u>have</u> been in Venice?
-Yes!
-Let me tell you, Venice <u>can't</u> <u>compare</u> with Constantinople.
-But--
-I don't care <u>what</u> you say! In Constantinople at least you have streets, sultans, pashas--
-And harems ... ?
-Good morning, Major.
-Nice day, Major.
-Umm.
-You're looking fine, Major.
-No doubt about it--it's that secretary.
-Funny, the kind of men women fall for.
-No color, no sparkle--but dependable.
-The type they marry.
-You know, I'm not the marrying type. I like to take my fun and leave it.
-Nice suit.
-Like it?
-Smart. London, eh?
-Ogilvie and Oglethorpe.
-He's really not a bad fellow.
-Just dull.
-Insignificant ... He's a secretary, always <u>was</u> a secretary, always <u>will</u> be.
-Funny--the first time I saw him I thought he was a doctor!
-Yes, sir? What shall we start with, Baron?
-Oh, yes ... Well, that's not so easy. Beginnings are always difficult.
-Yes, Baron.
-If Casanova suddenly ... turned out to be Romeo ... having supper with Juliet--who might become Cleopatra ... How would you start?
-I would start with cocktails.
-It must be the most marvelous supper. We may not eat it, but it must be marvelous.
-Yes, Baron.
-And, waiter--you see that moon?
-Yes, Baron.
-I want to see that moon in the champagne.
-Yes, Baron. Moon in champagne.
-I want to see--
-Yes, Baron.
-And as for you, waiter--
-Yes, Baron?
-I don't want to see you at all!
-No, Baron! I beg your pardon.
-You're not safe anywhere nowadays.
-But please, Baron. We're not supposed to breathe a word of it. You won't tell anybody I told you?
-You can trust me.
-M'sieu Laval, there are several things I've wanted to ask you for quite a while. I understand you are from Marseilles.
-Um-hum ...
-You must be related to the Lavals of Marseilles.
-I hope you find the figures correct.
-I hope so, too.
-M'sieu Laval, I have enjoyed the confidence of this family--
-For more than forty years. So Madame told me.
-And you, M'sieu Giron, seem to be disturbing my examination of <u>this</u> <u>report</u>.
-Examination! M'sieu Laval, what are you insinuating? I have enjoyed the confidence of this family for more than forty years. How long have you enjoyed Madame's confidence? Three weeks, I believe.
-Two weeks and three days.
-Um-hum!
-Are <u>you</u> insinuating anything, M'sieu Giron?
-No, not at all!
-Well, that's fine. Then you are not insinuating that I am avoiding questions. And I am not insinuating that you won't let me examine this report.
-I was only asking if you are related to the Lavals of Marseilles.
-And I was only asking you if you would let me examine your report without interruption.
-I don't see why any man should get excited when he is asked about his hometown.
-And I don't see any reason for any man getting nervous when somebody checks over the figures of his report.
-Are you insinuating that this is not an honest report?
-I am only insinuating that you are nervous.
-Nervous! Why should I be nervous?
-I'm very sorry, but this is no time, M'sieu Giron--
-I've got to see you.
-But not now.
-Right now! It's very important, M'sieu Laval.
-It may be important to you, M'sieu Giron--
-Yes, m'sieu.
-And you will be out by tomorrow morning.
-Very well, m'sieu.
-Otherwise I'll call the police
-Yes, m'sieu. M'sieu Giron!
-What is it?
-You have enjoyed the confidence of this family for more than forty years. You must be a man of about-- about sixty-five. Let's see-- You will be exactly eighty-seven when you come out of prison.
-What do you mean?
-You say I am a crook.
-I know it!
-Then why didn't you call the police? Why <u>don't</u> you call the police? I'll tell you why--you crook, you.
-M'sieu ...
-Monescu.
-M'sieu Monescu!
-You see, the bag has just been found, and the reaction of relief from her former excitement and strain is just a little too much for her. It's not very serious, but just the same we'd better not take any chances.
-Just as you say, Doctor.
-Thank you, Major.
-Good day, Doctor.
-No, no, no! I disagree with you absolutely. That's the trouble with you artillery men.
-Now just a minute, Major--
-Who?
-The Marquis de la Tours. He was in the lobby. But I don't think he saw me. I'm positive he didn't. Thank heaven! ... But when I came up here, right out in the hall there was King Boris of Alconia!
-The tennis player?
-The tennis player. He saw me. He bowed. What could I do? I nodded. Baron, I shouldn't have come!
-Do you <u>know</u> King Boris?
-No--no.
-Do you know the Marquis de la Tours?
-I would like to.
-You'd better not. He's really very dull. But anyhow, when the king tells the marquis he saw me, the marquis will tell the marchesa. And the marchesa is the best friend of the Duchess of Chambro. And <u>she</u> will phone the Princess de Costa. The princess doesn't like me--but I don't care!
-Why should you?
-Don't stop. Keep right on complaining. It's beautiful.
-You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were an American.
-Thank you!
-Someone from another world--so entirely different. One gets so tired of one's own class--princes and counts and dukes and kings--ah! And everybody talking shop--always trying to sell jewelry ... And then I heard your name and found you were just one of us.
-Disappointed?
-That's hotel life. In one room a man loses his wallet and in another room a man loses-- his head.
-Please. When I came here it was for a little adventure--a little game which you play tonight and forget tomorrow. But something has changed me--and it isn't the champagne. The whole thing is new to me. Very new. I've got a confession to make to you. Baron, you are a crook. You robbed the gentleman in two fifty-three, five, seven, and nine. May I
-Please.
-Thank you.
-The pepper, too?
-No, thank you.
-I like you, Baron.
-Thank you, Baron.
-Not at all, Countess ... There's one very good stone in it.
-Darling! Now tell me--tell me all about yourself. Who are you?
-You remember the man who walked into the Bank of Constantinople and walked out <u>with</u> the Bank of Constantinople?
-Monescu!
-Gaston Monescu.
-I always liked him. Especially last year in Munich ...
-Last year? It can't be that long.
-Darling, then let's be honest and return it to the lady.
-And take the twenty thousand francs ...
-Right.
-Sweetheart, what day is today?
-The fourteenth of May.
-And tomorrow is the fifteenth. And the day after tomorrow--
-We'll go to Venice, to the same hotel!
-We'll take the Royal Suite!
-Two fifty-three, five--
-Seven and nine!
-And we'll celebrate the second anniversary of the day we didn't get married!
---the other half, contrary to custom, shall be delivered in cash into Madame's personal custody. Darling, that means that on the second of June we'll have eight hundred and fifty thousand francs.
-And her <u>jewelry</u> is worth a fortune!
-You! And she's willing to pay as high as fifty francs!
-What?
-<u>This</u> <u>woman</u> <u>has</u> <u>more</u> <u>than</u> <u>jewelry</u>.
-Ah!
-Did you ever take a good look at her--uh--
-Certainly!
-They're all right, aren't they?
-Beautiful. And what of it? Let me tell you something: so far as I'm concerned, her whole sex appeal is in that safe!
-Gaston. Let's open it--right now! Let's get away from here! I don't like this place!
-Oh, no, darling. There's <u>more</u> sex appeal coming on the first of the month. It's only ten days ... Eight hundred and fifty thousand francs.
-Filiba ...
-Yes--Filiba! Venice--Grand Hotel-- room two fifty-three--
-Five, seven, and nine--
-Éysée seven, eight, nine, two. We have to clear out. Railroad station? Ticket office, please.
-He recognized you!
-No--not yet--but-- Two tickets to Berlin--first class and sleeper--night train ... Right ... Right ... Leave them in the name of--Don Ignacio Fernandez ... Right ... Thank you.
-Spanish passports?
-Correct. Now the train leaves--
-At twelve twenty. I know. Lyons two, four, seven, one. Two more days and we'd have seven hundred and fifty thousand francs more!
-Well, we'll have to take what's here. A bird in hand is worth two in jail.
-Hello ... Is this the Spanish consulate? This is Doña Ignacio Fernandez. My husband and I are leaving tonight for Berlin ... Is it too late to get a visa this afternoon ... ? Thank you, thank you. How long will it take you?
-I don't know. Fortunately, she has a dinner engagement tonight. I'll meet you at the station--midnight. Hello ... Yes? What? ... You found a handbag? Well, you're three weeks too late!
-Well, see you at the Berlin Express.
-By the way, how is your German?
-<u>Grossartig</u>--<u>kolossal</u>!
-<u>Also</u>, <u>um</u> <u>zwoelf</u> <u>Uhr</u>.
-<u>Am</u> <u>Berliner</u> <u>Zug</u>.
-<u>Auf</u> <u>wiedersehn</u>.
-Are you insane? You've to get out of here at once! She may come back any minute.
-What time is your rendezvous?
-Now, Lily--
-Yes, <u>M'sieu</u> <u>Colet</u>?
-You <u>have</u> to get out of here!
-That's what I'm here for--to get out! I want to get away from here, from you--as fast as I can and as far as a hundred thousand francs will take me. Sixty-five, ninety-four--
-Don't you <u>realize</u>--
-Thirty-five to the left--sixty- three, eight ... I wouldn't fall for another man if he were the biggest crook on earth ... Seventy-six, eighty-four, fifty-five-- What has she got that I haven't got?
-Lily, you must listen to me.
-Shut up! Don't make up any stories!
-But, Lily--
-And you--
-Lily--
-Goodbye--Madame Colet and Company!
-Yes...?
-Will you be good enough to look at this bag, madame?
-You know the main staircase in the opera?
-Yes.
-Then you go to the left. There's a landing.
-Yes.
-Then you go into the foyer.
-Yes.
-And as you leave the foyer, there is a little niche.
-I know that niche.
-And in that niche, there is a statue of Venus.
-I remember.
-You like that statue?
-Not particularly.
-Neither do I. That's where I found it.
-I don't know how I could have lost it there. I was nowhere near that niche.
-Oh ... That's strange. Maybe--are you sure this is your bag?
-Of course it is! Are you doubting me?
-Not in the least, madame. But you see, it's a very expensive bag--one has to be careful.
-Well--I am Madame Colet.
-Well--how do you do, M'sieu Laval?
-One purse-- empty. One vanity case--
-But really, m'sieu, this isn't necessary.
-Please, Madame Colet, I believe in doing things correctly. Shall we continue? Two hairpins, one cigarette lighter, one box of real matches, and-- Oh, yes, this letter from Major--
-Oh! You didn't read it!
-Naturally I did.
-Oh!
-You needn't be embarrassed, madame. A lady as charming as you would, and <u>should</u>, get love letters.
-M'sieu Laval!
-But one suggestion, madame. Not the major. I don't mind his grammatical mistakes. I'll overlook his bad punctuation. But the letter has no mystery--no bouquet--no ... And one lipstick ... Scarlet number four.
-What's wrong now?
-With your skin, I prefer crimson.
-Too much blue in crimson.
-That's what you need!
-No, no, no! I disagree with you completely! I tried it once--
-What shade of powder do you use?
-Peaches and cream.
-That's too dark.
-Do you realize I have light eyes?
-Goodbye, M'sieu La-- Oh, yes ... This is a rather delicate matter and I don't want to ... You see, if you read my advertisement carefully, you must have noticed that there was ...
-In other words, madame, it embarrasses you to offer me the twenty thousand francs reward.
-Yes.
-Don't be embarrassed, madame. I'll take it. I need the money. I wish I were in a position to ignore the whole matter. But you know, madame, the stock market, bank crash ... To make a long story short--a member of the nouveaux poor.
-Do you know my first name?
-And do you know what I'd like to have you do with that check?
-What?
-Make it out to cash!
-Eighteenth century.
-Yes!
-Early eighteenth century. I should say around--seventeen thirty.
-Right!
-Beautiful specimen.
-It <u>is</u> beautiful. But I got a little tired of sleeping in antiques, so I gave it to my secretary.
-Oh?
-This used to be my secretary's room.
-I see. She must have been very happy here.
-Too happy. That's why I discharged her.
-But, madame, you keep a hundred thousand francs--in your safe--at <u>home</u>?
-You think that's too much?
-No! Not enough! In times like these, when everything is uncertain, every conservative person should have a substantial part of his fortune within arm's reach.
-Madame Colet, I think you deserve a scolding. First, you lose your bag--
-Then I mislay my checkbook--
-Then you use the wrong lipstick--
-And how I handle my <u>money</u>!
-It's disgraceful!
-Tell me, M'sieu Laval, what else is wrong?
-Everything! ... Madame Colet, if I were your father-- which, fortunately, I am not--
-Ye-es?
-And you made any attempt to handle your own business affairs, I would give you a good spanking--in a business way, of course.
-What would you do if you were my <u>secretary</u>?
-The same thing.
-Madame.
-Will you be good enough to run through these papers with M'sieu Giron?
-I'll be delighted.
-Yes, madame?
-What are you going to do with my day tomorrow, M'sieu Laval?
-Well, we'll have breakfast in the garden.
-Um-hum ...
-Then riding together.
-Um-hum ...
-Then lunch in the Bois--
-Together.
-Then a little nap--
-How do you like my dress?
-Beautiful.
-Hair?
-Marvelous.
-Crimson!
-Correct! Good night.
-Good night.
-Good night.
-But you have an engagement, and I don't want people to talk.
-Talk? About me--about us?
-Precisely.
-Afraid I'm ruining your reputation, M'sieu Laval?
-No--yours, madame.
-But incidentally, let me tell you, <u>I</u> don't like <u>you</u>. I don't like you at all! I wouldn't hesitate one instant to ruin <u>your</u> reputation--like that!
-You would?
-Yes, I would!
-Like that?
-Like that!
-I know all your tricks.
-And you're going to fall for them.
-So you think you can get me?
-Any minute I want!
-You're conceited--
-But attractive--
-<u>Now</u>, <u>let</u> <u>me</u> <u>tell</u> <u>you</u>--
-I want you to stay, Mariette. You've <u>got</u> to stay. You can't go now!
-I <u>must</u> go.
-I'm crazy about you!
-I know it.
-<u>I</u> <u>love</u> <u>you</u>.
-I <u>believe</u> you.
-Then why do you want to go?
-When a lady takes her jewels off in a gentleman's room, where does she put them?
-On the night table.
-Ah, let me have a little fun.
-Thirty-three--
-Yes, Gaston?
-What would you say if you found your safe had been robbed?
-I wouldn't say anything--I would act.
-Call the police?
-Instantly.
-Um-<u>hum</u> ...
-You look beautiful.
-Thank you. Seventy-six, eighty--
-Mariette!
-Yes, Gaston?
-You have been robbed--for years. And not a hundred thousand francs, but millions. And you know who did it? Adolph.
-<u>Adolph</u>?
-Adolph J. Giron.
-And you expect me to believe that?
-Why not? He's a thief--he's a criminal.
-I don't believe it!
-It would be a terrible scandal, wouldn't it?
-Giron...!
-Goodbye...
-Goodbye.
-It could have been marvelous ...
-Divine ...
-Wonderful ... But tomorrow morning, if you should wake out of your dreams and hear a knock, and the door opens, and there, instead of a maid with a breakfast tray, stands a policeman with a warrant--then you'll be glad you're alone.
-But it could have been glorious.
-Lovely.
-Divine ... But that terrible policeman!
-Oh, M'sieu Laval ...
-Yes, Madame Colet?
-Has Mademoiselle Gautier gone?
-Yes--uh--
-Oh, that's too bad. You see, I wanted her to do something. Well, I guess I'll have to do it myself.
-What is it, madame?
-Oh, no, it's the way you lead.
-No, madame, it's the way you <u>follow</u>.
-No, m'sieu!
-Yes, madame!
-But my dear M'sieu Giron, I'm having a tea party. Must I be bothered with all these papers now?
-I'm sorry, madame, but there are still certain matters which I think you should attend to yourself. And I, personally, would not care to refer them to--to--
-Madame Colet, I've enjoyed the confidence of your family for more than forty years. I was a school friend of your husband's ...
-I know!
-Madame, let me ask you: Who is M'sieu Laval, anyhow? Where does he come from? What is he?
-He is my secretary! I hope that answers all your questions, M'sieu Giron.
-You know what Paris is saying about the Countess Falconier and her chauffeur?
-You've had your breakfast--oh, but of course you have.
-Yes, madame. You see, I have to get up very early. My little brother goes to school-- You see, Mother is dead.
-Two lumps, madame?
-Please! Thank you.
-Yes, madame?
-You see-- Oh, not a word to M'sieu Laval!
-About what?
-Potatoes. He doesn't want me to eat them-- and naturally I don't want to upset him.
-Now. Uh--mademoiselle--in the short time you have been M'sieu Laval's secretary, have you noticed any change in him?
-Well--uh--yes and no.
-To me he seems rather nervous.
-Nervous? Um-hum. He smokes too much!
-No, he <u>works</u> too much. He's chained to his desk. Too much detail. Now, if you could take over some of his work--
-So he wouldn't be confined so much to his office--
-Yes! And he would have a little more time for--
-For all the really important things--
-Right!
-I'll do my best, madame, even if I have to work every night.
-Oh, no, no, no, no, my dear child! That's ridiculous. You go home as usual--five o'clock every day. Now I'm going to be a little bit of a tyrant--I insist. It'll be nice for your little brother, too. <u>Five</u> <u>o'clock</u>--remember!
-Yes, madame?
-Well, in times like these most people are cutting salaries, but suppose we say, in your case, three hundred and fifty?
-I think you'd better go.
-Ever had a romance with a crook?
-I beg your pardon!
-Let me give you a little advice. When you embrace him, be sure to put on your gloves. It would be too bad if your fingerprints were found ...
-Mademoiselle Gautier--or whatever your name is--I thank you for your advice, but I must ask you to go. You've got your money--
-You should be ashamed of yourselves. Two men of your standing, always quarreling.
-He started it.
-But you're the more intelligent one.
-That's true.
-Then why did you do it?
-Because I hate him--because I love you!
-You should have more self-control. You were in the army.
-Your bag?
-Yes, my bag!
-Didn't you take it with you?
-Apparently not. Don't you know where it is?
-No--I'm sorry.
-But you saw it here.
-Yes, I saw it--but--
-Water 14 feet above the keel in ten minutes... in the forepeak... in all three holds... and in boiler room six.
-That's right.
-Five compartments. She can stay afloat with the first four compartments breached. But not five. Not five. As she goes down by the head the water will spill over the tops of the bulkheads... at E Deck... from one to the next... back and back. There's no stopping it.
-The pumps --
-How much time?
-Your ship is a wonder, Mr. Andrews. Truly.
-Mr. Andrews, I did the sum in my head, and with the number of lifeboats times the capacity you mentioned... forgive me, but it seems that there are not enough for everyone aboard.
-I saw the iceberg, Mr. Andrews. And I see it in your eyes. Please tell me the truth.
-The ship will sink.
-You're certain?
-Please tell only who you must, I don't want to be responsible for a panic. And get to a boat quickly. Don't wait. You remember what I told you about the boats?
-Mr. Andrews, thank God! Where would the Master at Arms take someone under arrest?!
-What? You have to get to a boat right away!
-No! I'll do this with or without your help, sir. But without will take longer.
-Take the elevator to the very bottom, go left, down the crewman's passage, then make a right.
-Bottom, left, right. I have it.
-Won't you even make a try for it, Mr. Andrews?
-Good luck to you, Rose.
-I'm in the sitting room. Heading for bedroom B-54.
-Stay off the floor. Don't stir it up like you did yesterday.
-Who's the best? Say it.
-Shit.
-You know, boss, this happened to Geraldo and his career never recovered.
-She says she's Rose DeWitt Bukater, right? Rose DeWitt Bukater died on the Titanic. At the age of 17. If she'd've lived, she'd be over a hundred now.
-A hundred and one next month.
-We've put together the world's largest database on the Titanic. Okay, here...
-So let me get this right. You were gonna kill yourself by jumping off the Titanic? That's great!
-Holy shit.
-Don't drop it Rose.
-Rush her.
-Hey, Lizzy. I need to talk to you for a second.
-Don't you mean work me?
-Look, I'm running out of time. I need your help.
-I'm not going to help you browbeat my hundred and one year old grandmother. I came down here to tell you to back off.
-What?
-That's the shape my hand's gonna be when I hold that thing. You understand? I'm not leaving here without it.
-The partners want to know how it's going?
-There's a satellite call for you.
-Bobby, we're launching. See these submersibles here, going in the water? Take a message.
-This is Brock Lovett. What can I do for you, Mrs...?
-Rose Calvert.
-I told you you wanted to take this call.
-None of the stewards have seen her.
-She's not on the starboard side either.
-We're running out of time. And this strutting martinet... ...isn't letting any men in at all.
-The one on the other side is letting men in.
-I make my own luck.
-We're too late.
-What could possible be funny?
-Your daughter is much too hard to impress, Ruth. Mind your step.
-So this is the ship they say is unsinkable.
-Steerage swine. Apparently missed his annual bath.
-Honestly, Cal, if you weren't forever booking everything at the last instant, we could have gone through the terminal instead of running along the dock like some squalid immigrant family.
-You know I don't like that, Rose.
-It's just the God damned English doing everything by the book.
-You told me to change.
-I couldn't let you wear black on sailing day, sweetpea. It's bad luck.
-Those mud puddles were certainly a waste of money.
-You're wrong. They're fascinating. Like in a dream... there's truth without logic. What's his name again...? Picasso.
-What made you think you could put your hands on my fiancee?! Look at me, you filth! What did you think you were doing?!
-Cal, stop! It was an accident.
-An accident?!
-I was leaning way over, to see the... ah... propellers. And I slipped and I would have gone overboard... and Mr. Dawson here saved me and he almost went over himself.
-Is that the going rate for saving the woman you love?
-My God... Cal. Is it a --
-It was once worn by Louis the Sixteenth. They call it Le Coeur de la Mer, the --
-I had hoped you would come to me last night.
-I was tired.
-Yes. Your exertions below decks were no doubt exausting.
-I see you had that undertaker of a manservant follow me.
-You will never behave like that again! Do you understand?
-Something serious has happened.
-But I was with him the whole time.
-Oh, Mother shut up! Don't you understand? The water is freezing and there aren't enough boats... not enough by half. Half the people on this ship are going to die.
-Where are you going? To him? Is that it? To be a whore to that gutter rat?
-Yes, I lived. How awkward for you.
-Is this in any way unclear?
-What do I tell your mother?
-You're precious to me, Rose.
-I know. Perhaps you could join us for dinner tomorrow, to regale our group with your heroic tale?
-Sure. Count me in.
-This should be amusing.
-Just a soupcon of lemon... ...it improves the flavor with champagne.
-No thanks. I'm heading back.
-There are boats on the other side that are allowing men in. Jack and I can get off safely. Both of us.
-I'll be alright. Hurry up so we can get going... we got our own boat to catch.
-You're a good liar.
-Almost as good as you.
-Let's see... Fabrizio's got niente. Olaf, you've got squat. Sven, uh oh... two pair... mmm. Sorry Fabrizio.
-What sorry? What you got? You lose my money?? Ma va fa'n culo testa di cazzo --
-'Cause you're goin' to America!! Full house boys!
-Goin' home... to the land o' the free and the home of the real hot- dogs! On the TITANIC!! We're ridin' in high style now! We're practically goddamned royalty, ragazzo mio!!
-You know somebody?
-How you two doin'?
-The boats are all going.
-You can smell ice, you know, when it's near.
-Bollocks.
-Cor... look at that, would ya.
-They're a bloody sight warmer than we are.
-Oy, mate... that was a close shave.
-Keep pulling... away from the ship. Pull.
-The suction will pull us right down if we don't keep going.
-We got room for lots more. I say we go back.
-They'll pull us right down I tell ya!
-I don't understand a one of you. What's the matter with you? It's your men back there! We got plenty a' room for more.
-So you've not lit the last four boilers then?
-No, but we're making excellent time.
-Captain, the press knows the size of Titanic, let them marvel at her speed too. We must give them something new to print. And the maiden voyage of Titanic must make headlines!
-I prefer not to push the engines until they've been properly run in.
-Why have we stopped?
-We've struck ice.
-Well, do you think the ship is seriously damaged?
-Take my hand. I'll pull you back in.
-No! Stay where you are. I mean it. I'll let go.
-No you won't.
-What do you mean no I won't? Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do. You don't know me.
-You're distracting me. Go away.
-I can't. I'm involved now. If you let go I have to jump in after you.
-The fall alone would kill you.
-How cold?
-Ever been to Wisconsin?
-No.
-Well they have some of the coldest winters around, and I grew up there, near Chippewa Falls. Once when I was a kid me and my father were ice- fishing out on Lake Wissota... ice- fishing's where you chop a hole in the --
-I know what ice fishing is!
-Sorry. Just... you look like kind of an indoor girl. Anyway, I went through some thin ice and I'm tellin' ya, water that cold... like that right down there... it hits you like a thousand knives all over your body. You can't breath, you can't think... least not about anything but the pain. Which is why I'm not looking forward to jumping in after
-You're crazy.
-I'm Jack Dawson.
-HELP! HELP!!
-Hello again.
-Could I speak to you in private?
-So, you got a name by the way?
-Rose. Rose DeWitt Bukater.
-Mr. Dawson, I --
-Jack.
-Jack... I feel like such an idiot. It took me all morning to get up the nerve to face you.
-Well, here you are.
-Here I am. I... I want to thank you for what you did. Not just for... for pulling me back. But for your discretion.
-You're welcome. Rose.
-Look, I know what you must be thinking! Poor little rich girl. What does she know about misery?
-That's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was... what could have happened to hurt this girl so much she though she had no way out.
-I don't... it wasn't just one thing. It was everything. It was them, it was their whole world. And I was trapped in it, like an insect in amber. I just had to get away... just run and run and run... and then I was at the back rail and there was no more ship... even the Titanic wasn't big enough. Not enough to
-Uh huh. They'll be sorry. 'Course you'll be dead.
-Oh God, I am such an utter fool.
-That penguin last night, is he one of them?
-Penguin? Oh, Cal! He is them.
-Is he your boyfriend?
-So you feel like you're stuck on a train you can't get off 'cause you're marryin' this fella.
-Yes, exactly!
-So don't marry him.
-If only it were that simple.
-It is that simple.
-Oh, Jack... please don't judge me until you've seen my world.
-What's this?
-Just some sketches.
-Jack, these are quite good! Really, they are.
-Oh no! Oh, I'm so sorry. Truly!
-And these were drawn from life?
-You liked this woman. You used her several times.
-She had beautiful hands.
-I think you must have had a love affair with her...
-No, no! Just with her hands.
-You have a gift, Jack. You do. You see people.
-And...?
-You know, my dream has always been to just chuck it all and become an artist... living in a garret, poor but free!
-You wouldn't last two days. There's no hot water, and hardly ever any caviar.
-Listen, buster... I hate caviar! And I'm tired of people dismissing my dreams with a chuckle and a pat on the head.
-I'm sorry. Really... I am.
-So then what, Mr. Wandering Jack?
-Well, then logging got to be too much like work, so I went down to Los Angeles to the pier in Santa Monica. That's a swell place, they even have a rollercoaster. I sketched portraits there for ten cents a piece.
-A whole ten cents?!
-Yeah; it was great money... I could make a dollar a day, sometimes. But only in summer. When it got cold, I decided to go to Paris and see what the real artists were doing.
-Why can't I be like you Jack? Just head out for the horizon whenever I feel like it. Say we'll go there, sometime... to that pier... even if we only ever just talk about it.
-Alright, we're going. We'll drink cheap beer and go on the rollercoaster until we throw up and we'll ride horses on the beach... right in the surf... but you have to ride like a cowboy, none of that side-saddle stuff.
-You mean one leg on each side? Scandalous! Can you show me?
-Sure. If you like.
-I think I would. And teach me to spit too. Like a man. Why should only men be able to spit. It's unfair.
-I saw that in a nickelodeon once, and I always wanted to do it.
-Jack, must you go?
-May I cut in, miss?
-I don't know the steps.
-You're not one of them. There's been a mistake.
-A mistake?
-Uh huh. You got mailed to the wrong address.
-I did, didn't I? Look! A shooting star.
-That was a long one. My father used to say that whenever you saw one, it was a soul going to heaven.
-Rose, you're no picnic... you're a spoiled little brat even, but under that you're a strong, pure heart, and you're the most amazingly astounding girl I've ever known and --
-Jack, I --
-You're making this very hard. I'll be fine. Really.
-I don't think so. They've got you in a glass jar like some butterfly, and you're goin' to die if you don't break out. Maybe not right away, 'cause you're strong. But sooner or later the fire in you is goin' to go out.
-It's not up to you to save me, Jack.
-You're right. Only you can do that.
-Fabrizio said you might be up --
-Will this light do? Don't artists need good light?
-Cal insist on lugging this thing everywhere.
-Should I be expecting him anytime soon?
-What is it? A sapphire?
-I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big Artiste. I can't imagine Monsieur Monet blushing.
-Pretty tough for a valet, this fella.
-He's an ex-Pinkerton. Cal's father hired him to keep Cal out of trouble... to make sure he always got back to the hotel with his wallet and watch, after some crawl through the less reputable parts of town...
-Where to, Miss?
-Are you nervous?
-You're trembling.
-When this ship docks, I'm getting off with you.
-This is crazy.
-Looks okay. I don't see anything.
-Could it have damaged the ship?
-It's bad.
-We have to tell Mother and Cal.
-Now it's worse.
-Come with me, Jack. I jump, you jump... Right?
-This is horseshit.
-Don't you believe it, Rose. Don't!
-That guy Lovejoy put it in my pocket.
-I know, I know.
-So... how did you find out I didn't do it?
-You have to go for help.
-I'll be right back.
-Will this work?
-I'm not going without you.
-You jump, I jump, right?
-Look for something floating. Some debris... wood... anything.
-It's so cold.
-It's getting quiet.
-No... don't say your good-byes, Rose. Don't you give up. Don't do it.
-I'm so cold.
-You're going to get out of this... you're going to go on and you're going to make babies and watch them grow and you're going to die an old lady, warm in your bed. Not here. Not this night. Do you understand me?
-I can't feel my body.
-You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise.
-I promise.
-Never let go.
-I don't think I've ever seen such a flat calm, in 24 years at sea.
-Yes, like a mill pond. Not a breath of wind.
-It's make the bergs harder to see, with no breaking water at the base.
-Mmmmm. Well, I'm off. Maintain speed and heading, Mr. Lightoller.
-Yes sir.
-April 14, 1912.
-Wait! Can you give us something go on, here. Like who had access to the safe. What about this Lovejoy guy? The valet. Did he have the combination?
-Maybe she wants to make peace with the past.
-What past? She has never once, not once, ever said a word about being on the Titanic until two days ago.
-Then we're all meeting your grandmother for the first time.
-You think she was really there?
-I'm sorry.
-Is your stateroom alright?
-There, that's nice. I have to have my pictures when I travel. And Freddy of course. Isn't that right, sweetie.
-Would you like anything?
-Louis the Sixteenth wore a fabulous stone, called the Blue Diamond of the Crown, which disappeared in 1792, about the time Louis lost everything from the neck up. The theory goes that the crown diamond was chopped too... recut into a heart-like shape... and it became Le Coeur de la Mer. The Heart of the Ocean. Today it would be worth more than the
-I tracked it down through insurance records... and old claim that was settled under terms of absolute secrecy. Do you know who the claiment was, Rose?
-Someone named Hockley, I should imagine.
-It's been 84 years...
-Just tell us what you can --
-I can still feel its weight. If you could have felt it, not just seen it...
-Rose, tell us more about the diamond. What did Hockley do with it after that?
-Don't come any closer.
-My God, Rose, what's gotten into --
-Mother, may I introduce Jack Dawson.
-Rose, this is not a game! Our situation is precarious. You know the money's gone!
-Of course I know it's gone. You remind me every day!
-I don't understand you. It is a fine match with Hockley, and it will insure our survival.
-Do you want to se me working as a seamstress? Is that what you want? Do you want to see our fine things sold at an auction, our memories scattered to the winds? My God, Rose, how can you be so selfish?
-It's so unfair.
-Rose, get in the boat!
-Anya!
-Anya, I think you're crazy.
-Any woman's crazy to feel about a man the way I do about you.
-Then why the sudden exit without even telling me?
-Do you want the truth, Anya?
-It would be a nice change from you.
-I had an idea your husband was getting suspicious.
-You're a charming liar. You <U>know</U>, Herbert's too dull to be suspicious about anything--even when I suddenly decided to come to Europe at a few hours' notice--
-How'd you ever get away with it?
-When I found out you were going I just had an attack of nerves--a few tears--and Herbert was on his way downtown to get my passport ... so who cares ... I'm here with you ... and that's all that matters to me.
-Sure!
-Here's to Europe! Couldn't try to look a little less glum, could you?
-Don't be crazy--I'm tickled to death to see you.
-But, Anya, dear! Unless you play we won't have a fourth.
-Hope we're not intruding.
-This is Miss Marsh.
-Well--shall we go into dinner?
-I'll join you later.
-So that's your little dancer that you were playing around with in New York. Oh--there's no accounting for tastes-- Mine, too, seem to be in the gutter.
-I can explain--
-Don't look so uncomfortable, Lee--it interferes with your good looks. Give me a cigarette. What did you do--persuade her to come on this voyage with you?
-Don't talk such bunk! She's one of the acts on the ship. I just ran into her by accident.
-Did you muss up her hair by accident, too?
-You mind your own business! She's an old friend of mine and I like her--what're you going to do about it?
-Just make it as difficult as possible for you to see her.
-I didn't ask you to come away with me--
-Oh--a hundred times--
---and I can tell you where to get off.
-And when you do I'll convey your respects by wireless to Herbert. Take it easy, Lee--no other woman'll ever get you. At least I'm honest when I tell you there must be something pretty low down in me--because I like you. You're such a swine!
-Will you leave me alone?
-I like touching you--poison ivy. You'd just been kissing that girl when I came in, hadn't you?
-Baloney!
-I can think of nothing nicer. It's very kind of you to invite me--
-Feeling a little better, I see.
-Thanks. I'll be there. About seven-thirty?
-Good afternoon--
-I hope so.
-Will you please excuse me? I'll be right back.
-We'll save you a place at our table.
-Isn't she lovely?
-No--I'm furious!--Nobody seems to do anything about it--
-How do you do. Would you care to finish the game? I have a slight earache. --and it's so noisy up here.
-You're Anya Rosson, aren't you? I've heard of you back in New York.
-Sorry I can't return the compliment.
-You were indiscreet enough to leave your gloves in my apartment one evening-- --and he was gentleman enough to boast <U>why</U> you'd been there and show me a snapshot of you.
-I don't understand.
-A rare pleasure to meet you, ma'am! Where I come from --out in Montana--we have some pretty women, but I guess if you walked down Main Street they'd turn out the fire brigade.
-Montana?
---that's what we call double-a grade lumber, ma'am; You don't find a knot in a thousand feet.
-You'll excuse me.
-Will you pardon me?
-You're lucky--out my way, in Montana, there's nothing else to do--
-Did you find it?
-No!--Did <U>you</U> take that bracelet?
-No-o!
-Where'd you get it?
-Lifted it out of a guy's cabin last night.
-What did you want a gun for?
-Stick-up. Needed dough to get ashore.
-Is that why you killed Lee Lother?
-Guess again, copper.
-Hmm! So am I. If you'll excuse me I have some important unfinished business. I'll see you all later.
-We haven't any chips, Mr. Brett--Do you mind playing with cash?
-Well, I'm off to a pretty good start.
-I should pass, but I'll trail along--I'll take three.
-Aces full.
-You're coming back--
-How about a little game later?
-Could I see you a minute?
-No gentleman would do that.
-In that case--you owe us exactly sixteen hundred dollars.
-Oh, no--I played with <U>your</U> cards--in <U>your</U> cabin--at <U>your</U> suggestion--If you've got a kick coming, make it to the Purser.
-And I'll lay odds you got that bracelet.
-I'm so sorry!
-I thought you were one of my friends.
-I'd <U>like</U> to be. Sailing on the <U>Progress?</U>
-Yes--are you?
-I wouldn't miss this boat for a million.
-She looks like a lot of other boats. I grant you she's beautiful.
-I'll say she is!
-Nice lines--
-Like her paint job?
-Very much--
-You've got lipstick all over you.
-I could stand some more--
---You'll have all the boys tipping their hats to you-- --let me wipe it off.
-Where have you been hiding?
-Oh--hello! I got the flowers. That was sweet of you--thank you.
-Don't thank me. Do you recognize me without the lipstick?
-So you washed it off!
-How about giving me another coat?
-Good-by.
-Wait a minute!--They're dancing in the palm court--
-Good-by!
-There's soft music--
---sorry--got an appointment to play shuffle-board.
-This is great. I'll be able to watch your act every night.
-You're not very ambitious, are you?
-Oh, yes, I am, because <U>afterwards</U>--up here in the moonlight.
-You work too fast for me, young man.
-Aw--give a feller a break. My cards are on the table-- I want to know you. How about dining with me tonight?
-Never eat before the show.
-This is Mr.--er--
-Brett is the name.
-Don't stop, nurse--I think I'm going to faint.
-You <U>are</U> a lunatic!
-You know, you're not a <U>bad</U>-looking girl. In fact--I think you're lovely.
-Keep your eyes on the ball, Mister.
-Married?
-Nothing to speak of. What is this--third degree?
-I want you to get used to my voice--you're going to hear it a lot.
-What a horrible death! Do you know what you remind me of?
-Tell me.
-A little boy that has escaped from his nurse and--
-Isn't she attractive?
-Very--your mother?
-Don't be a c-a-t.
-You asked me to dine with you tonight.
-Yes?
-Well, I can't.
-Don't rub it in.
-But I'll have cocktails with you.
-When?
-At seven-thirty?
-Sooner it you like.
-Okay.
-Fatal fascination of James Brett wins out.
-See you at seven-thirty in the lounge.
-I'm sorry I'm late, but something happened.
-You're forgiven if you don't make dates with anybody except me for the rest of the voyage.
-A little.
-Sorry.
-Thanks.
-Mighty decent of you, pal.
-What are you thinking?
-A lot of things I'd like to forget.
-That's funny--so was I. Guess the ocean makes one sentimental
-I can't blame the ocean--it's you.
-Don't kid me. I'm in no mood for it.
-For once I'm dead on the level-- --crazy about you!
-Will you take some advice? If you're looking for romance--count me out-- --if you know what's good for you.
-But--
---I know what I'm talking about. I'm no high-school girl looking through a window--reaching for the moon. Guess I'll be going.
-Sally--!
-Let's forget it--can't you see I kind of like you, too ... and I don't want to get involved.
-You mean that?
-Don't let's talk about it.
-Would you like to take a turn around the deck with me?
-Yes--is it all right if I come like this?
-This time I'm really glad you showed up.
-Lonesome?
-What, again?
-Yes--you know what I've been thinking, Sally?--
-What?--
-I think we'll live in Europe after we're married?
-I didn't <U>know</U> we were <U>going</U> to be married.
-You didn't?--I guess I forgot to tell you--
-You're a little ahead of yourself--the usual routine would be for you to propose, and if I accept, then you'd give me an engagement ring--
-I'll give you plenty of rings as soon as I get the stones set--what do you think?
-Good night, Mrs. Brett!
-I could see you were pining away--
-Oh, that's Mrs. Rosson--remember, you met her yesterday?
-How well do you know her?
-Just met her on the boat--supposed to play bridge with her yesterday--but she wouldn't--so we played poker instead.
-Who with?
-A Mr. Summers and a man called Lother.
-Oh, you infant! How much did you lose?
-Lose?--I won a little--
-That was the come-on--promise me you won't play with them again--
-What do you know about them?
-Too much--Remember--I warned you about me-- I used to be Lee Lother's girl--
-You can live that down, can't you?
-You can't lose me, Sally--I'm no lily myself!
-I'm beginning to think you're a pretty swell guy.
-I'll change and be with you in ten minutes.
-Make it five.
-Seven-fifty. Positively my last offer.
-I'm going to return the bracelet right now and face the consequences.
-Well, I'll be--!!!
-Not here--follow me around the shed.
-Don't you know better than to talk to me with people around?
-Oh, putting on the swell, eh?
-I thought you were a smart guy.
-If I was smart I wouldn't be working my way over on this ship.
-We didn't have enough dough for two tickets, did we?
-We coulda got two third-class!
-No bank roll there, boy. Lucky I could get you signed on--they picked up that Pittsburgh jeweler--made him talk. The heat's on, Shortie--and those Atlantic breezes are going to be mighty welcome.
-Oh, I'm not squawkin', but I'm not used to working and it's a bad habit to get into.
-It'll never hurt you---Got any money?
-A dollar seventy and I'm gonna keep it!
-No, you're not. Give me that dollar seventy.
-Nix, the law!
-He's a colored man in chauffeur's uniform carrying a basket of fruit.
-Quick, let me have that money. I'm broke and I'll need it for tips.
-You're a wise guy--Gimme back--
-You don't think--?
-Yer lucky I'm here at all. I tell you, Jimmy--my feet'll never hold out.
-Stop squawking! You were doing this job on a ship four years ago when I first picked you up, weren't you?
-Yeah--but high livin's made me soft.
-How're the tips?
-A dollar forty.
-I'll need it--gave my last buck to the bedroom steward.
-Not a chance.
-Come on-- I'll promote a card game, and we'll be sitting pretty.
-Until then--the dollar forty stays with me.
-Is that a nice way to talk to a pal?
-Oh, Shortie!-- --there's a girl on this ship--
---there's thousands of 'em!
-This is a business trip!
-She was wearing a white dress with a cute, black hat-- and carrying a bag with S. M. on it. Funny--her name's not on the passenger list.
-Maybe she's in the show--One of the troupers--did you ever think of that?
-Just a minute, steward--haven't you forgotten something?
-No, sir?
-My change.
-Change?
-Shortie!--you know my motto?
-Pleasure first if it don't interfere with business.
-Right!--but it doesn't have to apply to you--Keep your eyes open for anybody wearing a lot of cracked ice and give me the office.
-Inspector McKinney.
-Are you screwy?
-I fell in his arms--Couldn't resist it.
-Here--drop it where they'll find it and return it to him. He's not a bad egg. I'll ship him back the fifty before we arrive.
-You take some awful chances.
-They won't squawk--they're professionals.
-Well, if that's the case, you're sure of winning the first couple of hands--But what about after that?
-Have the purser give you twenty-five hundred dollars for this check--and bring the cash here.
-Here's your twenty-five hundred, Mr. Brett.
-Thank you. I owe you a dollar forty--here--keep the change.
-Thank you, sir.
-Sorry to interrupt you, Mr Brett, but I have a message for you.
-What is it?
-Your mother is feeling seasick and would like to see you right away.
-About sixteen hundred.
-Partners, ain't we?
-You keep it--
-<U>Me</U>!
-Say--wait a minute!
-Hello, Jimmy. What's up?
-Listen, Runt--Quick! Where's the ice?
-Why--I--er thought with all this heat turned on I'd hide it.
-Where did you hide it?
-On the drunk.
-Come in!
-I'll bet a couple of hundred-- I wonder what's keeping that boy.
-Don't worry about that. We'll settle after the hand. Out in Montana where I come from a man's word is all that's necessary. What have you got?
-Three Jacks.
-It's your deal.
-How's your mother feeling?
-Well, to tell you the truth, gentlemen, I've sworn off playing poker.
-Why, you wouldn't quit when you're ahead, would you?
-I thought you were a sucker--
-That goes two ways.
-I think I've met you before, Mr. Brett.
-Oh, yes. On the pier.
-Before that. Your face is very familiar.
-Yours, too. Are you the McKinney, the dentist on Calumet Avenue in Chicago?
-I'm going to the show--
-Care to join us?
-This is exciting--but if it's been stolen they can't get away with it on a ship--
-Some of the smartest robberies have taken place aboard ships--
-It'll be very interesting to see how you go about solving this, Inspector--
-Sorry--but I'm on a vacation--
-If he lets you down I'll try my hand at sleuthing-- Bet I could find that bracelet--
-I wouldn't worry about it--it'll turn up-- How about a nightcap, Inspector?
-No, thanks--I'll take a walk around the deck and then turn in--
-Thought you were going to turn in, Inspector.
-How about you?
-No, thanks. I've promised to play cards.
-You know what I'd do, if I were you--before the card game I'd go to the Purser's office.
-Why?
-Well, someone else besides myself may have seen you in the vicinity of Mrs. Rosson's cabin this evening--even the stewards in that corridor insisted on being searched. Get me?
-Sure, I'll go.
-I'll go with you.
-It's easy to see the Purser hasn't had much practice.
-How about trying your fine Italian hand?
-This has nothing to do with me-- But always remember, Purser, when you're searching anybody, take the lining of their coat, like this-- --run your fingers all along these seams.... Then-- back of the collar--<U>here</U>--that used to be a favorite trick--and never forget to put your finger down inside of the shoe--like this.
-Hey!--you're tickling me.
-Hello, young fellow!
-Coming to the pool for a swim?
-Wouldn't bet against her. Tell you what I will do--bet you I find that bracelet before we hit France. Not a hundred, though--just fifty.
-Nice girl, that-- I'd hate to see <U>her</U> get a raw deal. You know, the great trouble with crooks is they're <U>too</U> smart. Now if I'd taken that bracelet, I'd find some way to slip it back--I'd know I could never get ashore with it.
-Thought you might need me--don't talk, kid, and don't let him scare you--
-Don't get yourself all worked up--
-Mmmmmmmmmhm.... Now, Jimmy, what were you doing in that corridor before the shots were fired?
-Here's your fifty.
-Their faces are familiar--but not to each other.
-No--I'll take Sally and give you the best of it.
-Tell you what I'll do. I'll toss you for her--heads she plays with me.
-That's too bad.
-I'm O.K. It didn't hurt much.
-That's all right. I'll attend to this.
-Wait a minute--let's match for it.
-Oh, Denby--have you seen Sally around?
-No--I'm looking for Miss Marsh myself. I thought you might know where she is--
-She was to meet me here--why don't you wait? She ought to be here any minute.
-I don't know what it is, but I won't use it. Is she entertaining you?
-I should say not.
-I won't--I'll ask for one right now. Sally tells me she's in love with you.
-She did?
-Yes--but don't ask me why--because I could never tell you. I don't know what most guys want out of life--but <U>that</U> would be enough for me--I wouldn't care about-- easy money--or--showing off my smart brains--I'd just like to live <U>my</U> life so nothing I did would bounce back and ruin <U>hers</U>--Do I make myself clear?
-Very clear. That's one favor I'll be glad to do you.
-O.K., kid-- I'm only sorry for one thing.
-What's that?
-Here you are, sir.
-Eighty cents a word--three--six--nine words. That'll be seven twenty, but it's too much--I'll show you how to save some money.
-Where do you live?
-In New York.
-Your wife knows that, don't she?
-Sure.
-"Will be back in four weeks"-- --that saves you eighty cents right there!
-That's right--here's the eighty cents for you. I'd rather see you get it than the company--send it right off.
-Wait a minute--I think I can cut out a couple o' more words.
-How?
-"Will--be--back--in--four--weeks." You don't need the "will be." Just say "Back in four weeks."
-Wait a minute--I think I can cut something else out. "Back in four weeks." Instead of "in four weeks"--say "next month"--That saves another word.
-Just a minute--I don't think we need the word "Back" --Where <U>is</U> "Back"?
-Back is in New York.
-Your wife knows that, don't she?
-Sure.
-Now we get it down to two words--"next month."
-Send that.
-Wait a minute--What <U>is</U> next month?
-Next month is June.
-Fine! Instead of saying "next month"--we'll use one word and say "June."
-June? That's my wife's name.
-That's great! There's the address and message all in one word.
-O.K.! Send that!
-Just a minute--Your wife knows her own name, doesn't she?
-Sure.
-Well, there's no use in sending it. See that--I saved you seven twenty!
-I'll say--how fast is this boat going?
-Oh,--we're doing about thirty--
-Pretty good--thirty <U>miles</U> an hour--
-No. <U>Knots</U>!
-What?
-Knots!
-That's me!
-Not the <U>real</U> Chad Denby?--
-Yes--Me--in person!
-I can see where I won't talk much to you.
-Hello, Denby!
-I thought I put you to bed.
-Oh, was that me you put to bed? Thanks. I've been looking all over for you.
-Well, did you find me?
-Not yet. Say, where is this boat headed for?
-This is a fine time to be asking that. You're on your way to France.
-Hey, boy--give this man a cablegram blank. Where is your wife?
-Tell her you're on your way to France and will be back in four weeks.
-Come on, get up. That horse is carrying too much of a load.
-Who won?
-Well, you got the first down--there's one more to go. Come on, we're ready to start right now. Come on. Just keep stiff.
-I was never stiffer in my life.
-He's funny--maybe you can use him in the show, Mr. Denby.
-Oh, there you are--
-That's right--you're the one I was looking for. You'll excuse me. How about you and I being alone?
-Not now, Toots--Which is the right way to say this? You're dumber than me--or--you're dumber than I?
-Let me see now--Don't tell me-- You're dumber than me and I'm dumber than you. I don't get it.
-McKinney's the name.
-Here we are, folks--eighty thousand wild-eyed fans go mad--they go mad as Chad Denby--with the arms of iron, and the nerves of steel--picks up his racket-- What is this thing--a racket or a mallet?
-Looks to me like standard equipment for the Department of Street Cleaning--
-You can always tell how much a man's traveled by the way he plays shuffle-board.
-Those kids seem to be getting along fine!--
-It must be the sea air--it gets everybody.
-He's a likable chap--he's got an honest face--
-It's all right--if you like honest faces--let's have another drink--Steward!
-Hello, Inspector--I hear your vacation's been spoiled. Somebody lost a bracelet.
-Yes, a bracelet's been lost, but I'm still on my vacation.
-I understand you searched Brett for it last night. By the way--what do you know about him?
-Well, I've seen him here and there. What's on your mind?
-Oh, nothing--only I wondered why you suspected him.
-Well, I'll tell you--we picked him up about a year ago-- but could never pin anything on him.
-Maybe he just travels in bad company.
-I didn't--
-He asked for a loan of it, didn't he?
-Yes--but I didn't give it to him--
-Is this your gun?
-Well, that's something--even if only the fish can see it.
-Are you happy?
-Am I a member of this club?
-You're the President. Come in! Your brother was just telling me a few jokes I can use on the radio--
-Are you paying any attention to his jokes?--the first thing you know, you'll be taking piano lessons from Venus de Milo-- Get out of here.
-Everything O.K.?
-Looks like your old workshop back on 42nd Street.
-Like it?
-Swell--You've got Times Square right here--all but the noises--
-Yep--spending lots of time aboard--you see, Sally, I sold this Transatlantic idea to the shipping company.
-And you've put it over--haven't you?
-Why not? I give 'em a great show--and you know-- We're doing capacity, Sally--and all <U>Nice</U> people--
-You never fail at anything, do you, Chad?
-No--not much--excepting--
-Still got my picture, I see--I was pretty dumb then, wasn't I, Chad?
-No--Inexperienced-- A red-headed kid--homemade clothes--Broadway was Paradise--and a slot at the Automat was a Banquet.
-I came to tell you what a swell guy I think you are to do this--
-Do what--
-You made it possible for us to get away at a few hours' notice--you never asked why, but I guess you know.
-News travels fast on Broadway--you had to get away from a rat--
-It wasn't only that--Ned was in a jam.
-I get it--Lee Lother have a hand in that, too?
-I was so crazy about him--anything he did or said was O.K. by me. I introduced him to people--even after I knew his stock promoting was phoney and the card games were crooked. It didn't seem to matter--I didn't care-- --until he roped Ned in. Some confidence game--and the kid left his fingerprints on a drinking glass.
-I felt pretty low, Sally, when I heard you were running around with a racketeer--
-Women have a curious taste for knickknacks. When I found out about Ned--tried to make a break--Lee wouldn't stand for it and--well--here I am!
-Stay on the other side of the pond for a couple of months--you'll soon forget all about it.
-Chad Denby broadcasting-- --the nicest man I ever knew--
-But not nice enough to marry--eh?
-Come on, now--you've forgotten all about that.
-Women are such fools!--Why do so many of us pass up <U>right</U> guys?
-You're just a Master of Ceremonies. He might have knocked his head off.
-What's the difference? He's got more heads than he needs.
-I don't get the humor of that remark.
-Yes.
-Very serious?
-Why--don't you like him?
-I'll give you another chance to tell the truth, Lother.
-What do you mean?
-Why don't you be a good little boy and leave her alone?
-Oh--I understand you were an important part of her education when she came to New York.
-I just tried to show her the difference between the squirrels and the skunks.
-Meaning what?
-Yep--everybody's having a good time but me--What do you want, Mary?
-I just wrote a poem about the Atlantic Ocean--
-But, Mary--everybody's having such a great time-- why spoil it?
-Somebody's got to do it--
-Well, let's hear the poem--
-Oh, you dear Atlantic Ocean--how you spread across the sea--From New York to dear old Europe--just for boats to ride on thee--
-Very good, Mary--
-But I'm not finished yet----And your waves are so colossal--rocking boats both to and fro--Oh-h, Atlantic, how I love you ----how I love you--
-What's the matter, Mary?
-I'm getting seasick--
-H'mm--<U>Dear</U> Atlantic--
-Mr. Denby--What do you think I ought to do with that part?
-Oh, Mr. Den-n-by!
-Everyone but me--what do you want now, Mary?
-I feel better now--I've got a riddle! When is a plate of bean soup not a plate of bean soup?
-All right. When <U>is</U> a plate of bean soup not a plate of noodle soup?
-When it falls off the table and turns turtle--Cute?
-With your dry wit and humor--
-Oh yeah?--My personality put this thing over--
-Maurice Chevalier! There's a fellow with personality.
-What's he got that I haven't got?
-Well, he has a straw hat--
-So have I--I can get it right out of my trunk.
---And he has sex appeal.
-So what?
-Get that out of your trunk.
-All right--don't spoil the trip with any of those jokes-- there's a nice bunch of people on this trip--nothing but class--I looked over the passenger list and they're all members of the Who's Who!
-Never mind the Who's Who--Before I get on this boat I want to know What's What! How about my raise? All I get out of these ocean trips is dizzy.
-Is that one of the Who's Who?
-H'mm ... no wonder I have trouble rounding up this show--Don't you know there's a rehearsal going on?-- And you wanted a raise.--Come on--get going or you'll get it!
-Oh, Chad--what about the rest of the show?
-Oh, Mr. Denby, I wrote a poem about a bracelet--
-Then, after the first number, I tell the one about the Scotchman trying to open a Pullman window--the Scotchman says to the window--"Gee you're tight."-- and the window says--"You loosen up a bit and so will I."--Good?--And then I do the one-- Oh--you don't like it, eh?
-Chad--Lother's on the boat, and I'm worried sick about Sally--
-Oh!--So that's it. Does she know he's on board?
-What happened to you?
-You've got a gun, haven't you, Chad? Will you let me have it?
-What for?
-Don't ask any questions--just give it to me.
-You're wasting your time--she's a friend of mine.
-Eh?... Oh.
-He works the boats as a "come-on" man. We ought to make a fair combination and do a little business. Jack's a pretty good dealer himself.
-That's him! That's the sucker!!
-Can you read 'em Jack?
-They're a cinch to read--Queen of Clubs-- --Ace of Diamonds.
-The man that marks them is an artist--two hundred and fifty bucks for six decks--and they're worth it.
-The country boy's about due.
-Out my way in Montana we always call a bluff.
-How much did you lose?
-About twelve hundred.
-I went for four.
-All right--but what is there to face? It's finished.
-You ran away because you were afraid. I don't want it to end like that.
-I didn't want to see you again--that's my privilege.
-It wasn't smart. Even if you'd gotten away without me --I'd have found you--no matter where you were.
-Why don't you leave me alone?
-Because I want you--will always want you--no other woman'll ever take your place. I want you more now than I did that first night-- You've forgotten all that, I suppose?
-I wish I could.
-You get wise to <U>yourself</U>! If you know what's good for you, you'll leave me alone. Everybody's entitled to one mistake--Well--you're mine. When the going got too rough, I pulled up stakes and quit. We stay quit!--Get that!--And what're you going to do about it?
-That's more like the old Sally--a little bit of fire. How about Ned?
-He's all right.
-Thanks to me.
-You leave the kid alone.
-A tipoff in the right quarter to take his fingerprints and--
---you'd go with him!
-Not because of Ned.
-Of course not-- --but isn't it a coincidence that he's from the eighteenth precinct--where they made the squawk?
-I'm crazy about the kid and I got him into it. What do you want me to do?
-Just smile again and be reasonable. I'll order dinner here--just the two of us--like old times.
---and you swear when you get to the other side, you'll never come near either of us again?
-Don't, Lee--that's dead.
-Go ahead--you didn't used to be so fussy--
-I've lost my taste for knickknacks--
-Don't be a mug all your life--I'm trying to help you-- you need me more than I need you--have you figured they might pick the kid up in France and extradite him?
-Have you ever figured they might extradite you?
-I know he is. You change those clothes and then come to my cabin. I'll expect you around twelve o'clock.
-Yes, Yes!
-You didn't have a gun in your hand last night?
-No!
-S'pose you've never thought of killing him--
-I wouldn't say that-- I'm glad he's dead--yes--I'd thought of killing him-- but I didn't--
-Why?
-I tried to borrow a gun from Chad, but--
-It's getting kind of chilly on deck. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go to bed. Good night, Mr. McKinney!
-Congratulations.
-Exciting, wasn't it? Where's Jimmy?
-He'll be back. What would you do if anybody gave you a bracelet?
-Say, "Thanks very much!"
-I mean if you knew it were stolen.
-Well, of course, I wouldn't take it.
-And if you liked the person, you'd naturally persuade him to give it back and go straight, wouldn't you?
-Sure I would--but I don't get what you're driving at.
-That's the truth--every single word!
-I sincerely hope so--
-Why should <U>I</U> kill him?
-Soon as I get that bracelet back I'm going to relax. Wish the guy that borrowed it would help me out--I got to win that fifty bucks.
-I've got a hunch you're going to win that bet, Inspector.
-Next time I get a vacation I'll spend it at headquarters. Good-night.
-There you are, sir.
-Thank you.
-He's certainly good-natured.
-"Smooth's" the word.
-I mean--a lot of gentlemen would be offended if you searched them like that.
-Well, I'll be a son of a sea cook!
-What's the matter?
-I thought I had our sailing covered up-- --and here it is.
-Isn't it great to be away from it all? Aren't you happy? It seems too good to be true.
-Sure, Sis.
-I'm all right.
-You saw him sitting out there in front, didn't you?
-I was in his cabin--
-What!--are you crazy?
-I'll explain later--
-Everything in order, sir? What are <U>you</U> doing here, my lad?
-Telegrams.
-Nothin'.
-Let me look at it.
-Ain't got time.
-I tell yuh I ain't got no bracelet--
-I saw him take the bracelet out of that shoe.
-Yer crazy!--I ain't got no bracelet.
-Then why did you run away?
-I said that's 500 to you, Holliday. In or out?
-Oh, for Christ's sake!
-God damn son of a...
-Isn't that a daisy?
-Just pick up your money and go. Sick of listening to you simper.
-Skinny lunger, your guns don't Impress me. Wasn't for those guns You'd be nothin'.
-Oh, my God...
-Newcomers, eh? Names John Behan, I'm Cochise County Sheriff. Just Hit town?
-Just this minute. I'm Wyatt Earp, These're my brothers-
-Wyatt Earp...Dodge City, right?
-Gave all that up. Going into business.
-So how's Tombstone treating you?
-Fine, fine. But I was thinkin', You know what this town really Needs is a race track.
-What d'you think of the singer?
-Nice voice.
-The man dealing faro. Who is he?
-That's Wyatt Earp. Made quite a Name for himself as a peace Officer in Kansas.
-A peace officer... Impressive man
-Yes, very. And very married.
-Well I guess you can see, never a Dull moment. Maybe you should Stay around to see what happens Next. Who know? You might find a Future here.
-I saw that look on your face just now. What's between you and Wyatt?
-Listen, I want to talk to you.
-Not now. I don't have time.
-I saw that look pass between you And Wyatt at the fight. Listen to Me! You're mine! Understand? You're my woman and I'm your man.
-My man? You told Wyatt you'd Disarmed those men. Do you Actually believe after that I Could see you as my man? You're Just a dirty little fixer.
-Easy. I just wanted to tell you Things're about to start changing Around here. Lots of so-called Hard cases and tough-nuts swagger Around this town but none of 'em's got a clue about the real play. None of 'em.
-I don't understand.
-He said to turn loose of him.
-Where'd you get that horse?
-Beauty, ain't he?
-I asked where you got him.
-Look, I don't want any trouble With you but that's my horse and I mean to have him back. One way Or another.
-Come and get him.
-What'd the Messican mean, a sick Horse's gonna get us? Didn't make No sense.
-He was quoting the bible, Revelations: "Behold a pale horse And the one that sat on him was Death and Hell followed with him."
-Shut up, Ike.
-I want them spitting blood!
-There's no God, there's no devil, I hate the God damn world! I want To die!
-Hey, you smell that? Smells like Something died.
-I'm retired.
-Come on, you...
-Feel bad about ol' Fred. Just Can't hold back when I'm feelin' Woolly. Still, feel kinda bad. But now we're square. Anyway no Use for holdin' a grudge. I Deserved a rap in the head.
-Make you a deal. My brother took Over the Marshal's office in Tombstone. Got it in his head He's gonna make the place safe For widows and orphans. You and Your boys stay out of his way, I'll make sure he stays out of yours.
-Fair enough. You know I got to Admit, you got a lot of bark on You comin' up here like this.
-They were all gonna jump me back There. What ever happened to one Against one?
-Ain't our way. We go all on one, One on all. Fight one of us, you Fight us all. That's the Cowboy way.
-And how come you call yourselves Cowboys? Cowhands ride for the brand.
-Oh, we ride for a brand all right. This brand. How 'bout you?
-This brand.
-I'm sorry. If there was any other-
-I want you to know it's over. We're leaving and we're not Coming back.
-Look at that! Yeah! Come and get Some, boy!
-Let me, let me, yeah! Die, you Bastard...
-Forget it.
-Excuse me?
-I said forget it, answer's no, I Don't want the job and that's Final. I'm going to Tombstone and Nothin' short of dyin's gonn Stop me. Good day.
-But wait, you don't understand-
-No Marshal, you don't understand. I'm through with lawing, I'm Through with the whole Proposition. Forever. I did my Duty, now I'd like to get on with My life. That is if you don't Mind. Jesus. Good day now.
-I see, off to strike it rich, Huh. All right, fine, wish you Luck. Tell you this though, never Was a rich man yet didn't wind up With a guilty conscience.
-That's the rumor.
-You retired, too?
-Not me. I'm in my prime.
-Yeah, you look it.
-Age quod agis.
-Credat Judaeus Apella.
-Ecentus stultorum magister.
-That's just my game.
-On three? You call it.
-Why Johnny Ringo, you look like Somebody just walked over your grave. Oh, I wasn't quite as sick as I Made out.
-My fight's not with you, Holliday.
-I beg to differ. We started a Fight we never got to finish. Play for blood, remember?
-All right, lunger. Let's do it.
-Here, Doc.
-I calculate that's the end of This town. And let's don't bother About the luggage, darling.
-You don't even know him.
-That's my lovin' man. Just can't Get enough.
-What's wrong, Doc?
-How you feeling, Doc?
-Better.
-We must talk, darling. It appears We have to... redefine the nature Of our association.
-What's that mean, Doc? You know I Don't understand when you talk up High like that. You mean you Don't want to be my lovin' man no more?
-Not exactly...
-I'm a good woman to you, Doc. Don't I always take care of you? Nobody cares for you like me. I'm A good woman.
-Doc! How the hell are you?
-Since when is faro a business?
-Didn't you always say gambling's An honest trade?
-I said poker's an honest trade. Only suckers buck the tiger. The Odds are all with the house.
-Depends how you look at it. I Mean it's not like anybody's Holding a gun to their heads.
-Sheriff Behan, Doc Holliday.
-Very cosmopolitan.
-Very instructive
-So now we're in the mining Business. Turning into regular Tycoons. Gonna call this one the Mattie Blaylock. Mattie'll get a Kick out of that, it's her maiden Name.
-So tell me, Wyatt. I'm curious. Do you actually consider youself A married man? Forsaking all Others?
-Well yeah. Pretty much. I mean I Was no angel when we met but People change Doc. I mean sooner Or later you gotta grow up.
-I see. And what would you do if "she" walked in her right now? WYATT "She"?
-You know damn well who I mean. That dusky-hued lady Satan.
-I don't know. Probably ignore her.
-Ignore her?
-I'd ignore her. People can Change, Doc.
-Satisfied?
-He's drunk.
-Maybe I ought to go out there.
-Wyatt! Just in time. Pull up a chair.
-Been hittin' it awful hard, Doc.
-Nonsense, I have not yet begun to Defile myself.
-But Doc-
-I won't be pawed at, thank you Very much
-It appears he missed an excellent Chance to keep his mouth shut.
-Wyatt, my God! You're shot to pieces!
-I'm a man without fear, Wyatt. I Literally don't care if I live or Die. But even I can't fight human Instinct. Somebody suddenly Starts shooting at me, I duck. But you... what on earth were You thinking about?
-Doc...
-What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?
-A man like Ringo's got a great Empty hole right through the Middle of him and no matter what He does he can't ever fill it. He Can't kill enough or steal enough Or inflict enough pain to ever Fill it. And it drives him mad. Sick mad. Cold and dirty.
-So what does he want?
-What does he want? He wants revenge.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Wyatt. God, I'm so sorry.
-That's all right, Doc. Don't worry.
-Well hell, Wyatt. Wyatt, I want You to meet Father Feeney. Father Feeney's just been initiating me Into the mysteries of the great And ancient Church of Rome. You See, it appears my hypocrisy Knows no bounds.
-How you feelin', Doc?
-Rather an obvious question under The circumstances, don't you Agree? A better one might be how Do you feel?
-Hurts. Hurts pretty bad.
-I imagine it would, yes. So now We can add self-pity to your list Of frailties.
-All right, Doc...
-You think I'm kidding. You're the Most fallible, wrong-headed, self- Deluding, just generally Benighted jackass I've ever Known. Yet, withal, even at your Worst, you're the only human Being in my entire life who ever Gave me hope.
-All I ever wanted was to live a Normal life.
-When will you wake up? You Wouldn't know a normal life if it Bit you in the ass.
-That's great coming from you.
-I played the cards I was dealt, Wyatt. Your problem is you're Always trying to play someone Else's. Allow me to tell you the Truth and thus set you free: There is no happiness, Wyatt There is no normal life. There's Only life, that's all. Just life. The rest is relative.
-Then what do I do?
-First you can grab that black- Haired woman and make her your own.
-All right. Then what?
-Hey, is that "Old Dog Tray"? Sounds like "Old Dog Tray".
-What?
-You know, Stephen Foster. "Oh, Susanna". "Camptown Races", Stephen-stinkin'-Foster!
-I see, well this happens to be a Nocturne.
-A which?
-Drunks. Crawfished a bet, called Him a liar. I saw the whole thing.
-Don't touch me!
-You really look awful.
-Not half as bad as I feel.
-Then why in hell're you doin' This? You ought to be in bed.
-Wyatt Earp is my friend.
-Hell, I got lot's of friends.
-I don't believe it. He's clean!
-What? But I saw 'em-
-All right, I'm on fire! Black Seven, seven stickin' spades. Let's go!
-I'm your man... You win again. Well played, sir. You are on fire.
-Told you. I'm red hot, I'm Blazin'! Now, red seven. Seven Stinkin' diamonds. Look out! Five Thousand! Let's go!
-Awful lot of money.
-Can't take the heat, get outta The kitchen.
-You're the doctor. sad news, friend.
-Hello, Wyatt! Hiya Doc!
-Are you out of your mind? What on Earth'd make us-
-Maybe you ought to have a talk With Doc, Wyatt. I don't know if He's gonna make it.
-No.
-What?
-See how she breezed out of here. Like she had wings. Funny thing But I can't really remember how She looked. I can remember parts Of her clear as crystal, her Mouth, her walk, how she shut her Eyes when she laughed, little Bits and pieces, but not the Whole package. Can't put it Together for some reason.
-Good God, you're really-
-You tell Ringo... just tell him I'll be there.
-Wyatt, are you crazy?
-But I'd do it, I'd get that one Into him. So help me God, I would.
-Wyatt, I... I ain't got the words.
-All right, what's it to be? New Mexico's that way.
-Colorado's closer
-There they go. Look kinda like preachers.
-You know, we might just pull this off.
-Yeah, better run, you bastards!
-Hey Creek, you ever see anything Like that before?
-Wyatt, listen, you can't beat Him. You're good and God knows You got the courage, but you Ain't in Ringo's class. Hell, He's the best that's ever been. 'Cept maybe for Wild Bill.
-Praise Jesus!
-We're the law, ain't we? Well the Law don't ride around vermin-
-We've never actually met. My Name's-
-Wyatt Earp, I know. I was Beginning to think we'd never Meet. This is fortuitous. That Means lucky.
-What is it?
-Easy now... That mare's in season.
-Oh... Now she's starting. How do they know?
-They know. It's the scent. We Better split 'em up.
-That was lovely!
-You know you almost got us both Killed back there?
-Fun though, wasn't it?
-You'd die for fun?
-Wouldn't you? You're laughing! I Was sure you never laughed.
-I laugh sometimes
-Yes, but how often? Tell me, are You happy?
-Am I happy? I don't know. Happy As the next man, I guess. I don't Laugh all day long like an idiot, If that's what you mean.
-You're a little touchy about it.
-I'm not touchy, I just, it's a Silly question, that's all. Am I Happy? Are you happy?
-Of course, I'm always happy. Unless I'm bored. That blonde Woman, is that your wife?
-What about her?
-Nothing... Tell me, what do you Want out of life?
-Where do you get these questions?
-Just answer.
-I don't know, make some money, Have some kids, you know.
-Doesn't suit you.
-How would you know?
-Just doesn't, that's all.
-Well I ought to know my own mind And I'm tellin' you what suits me Is a family and kids. That suits Me right down to the ground. In Fact, that's my idea of heaven. All right, what's your idea of heaven?
-See? You're laughing again. But That's what I want. Go places and Move and never look back and just Have fun. Forever. That's my idea Of heaven. Need someone to share It with, though.
-You mean Behan? Then why are you with him?
-Well he's handsome and he's Charming. He's all right. For Now. Don't say it, I know, I'm Rotten. I can't help it. I've Tried to be good but it's too Boring.
-The way you talk. Never heard a Woman talk like that.
-Oh look, I haven't got time to be Proper, I want to live. I'm a woman, I like men. If that's Unladylike then I guess I'm not a Lady. At least I'm honest.
-What's wrong?
-I don't know, doesn't make any Sense. I almost can't look at You. Like it hurts.
-You know this is adultery. You Burn in hell for that.
-I must say this certainly has Been an unexpected little Windfall.
-And I don't even know your full name.
-Easy to fix. Wyatt Berry Stapp Earp.
-And I'm Josephine Sarah Marcus. My friends call me Josie.
-Josie... No, I'm gonna call you Sadie.
-I hate Sadie.
-Well you'll always be Sadie to me.
-Always?
-So I assume we're regarding this As just a kind of interlude.
-Look, it's too much of a tangle. I already cast my lot. I can't go Back and I can't sneak, feel back Enough as it is.
-You feel bad about this? About me?
-I didn't mean it that way.
-You know you don't have to sneak. You could stay with me. I know Things, Wyatt. Sweet things. I Could make you so happy.
-No, no, get away, get away from me...
-Sorry about your friend. And I'm sorry about...
-I forgave you the moment you said it.
-I have to go.
-Wyatt! My God...
-I have nothing left. I have Nothing to give you. I have no Pride, no dignity, no money. I Don't even know how we'll make a Living. But I promise I'll love You every second of your life.
-What can I get you?
-Let me have one of those cigars. Kinda nice in here. You run it?
-Milt Joyce, owner-operator.
-You see that bird at the faro Table? That's Johnny Tyler. He Barged in here one day, said he Was takin' over the game, started Slappin' customer, wavin' his Gun around, scarin' off all the High-class play. Only trade comes In here now's just bummers and Drovers, just the dregs.
-Why don't you get rid of him and Get yourself straight dealer?
-Those Cowboys're tellin' Everybody in town they're gonna Clean you out. They're down in That lot right now behind the OK Corral.
-Wyatt, I couldn't find a single Store that had laudanum any-
-Come up to the fire, honey.
-Long as I live I'll never Get used to that sound.
-They're just lonely is all. Hell, I howl myself sometimes.
-No, stay. Please stay with me.
-Honey, I gotta start makin' money.
-Oh, all right.
-Well I guess I don't have to go Right now. I guess I could stay a little while.
-No, no, I don't want to keep you.
-No really, I can stay a while.
-Just go. It's all right. Wyatt, Really. Work well.
-That the bottle Lou gave you? Better go easy on that stuff.
-I know what I'm doing. Where have You been?
-Out ridin'. So... how you doin'?
-I don't know. I'm all right.
-Really? You sure?
-Well, I was thinking, we've Already made a pile of money. Maybe we should just pull up Stakes and move on. And we could Stay on the move, you know? Just Keep going, see the world. Live On room service the rest of our Lives. How'd that be?
-Wyatt, what're you talkin' about?
-Thought you swore you'd never Carry that thing again.
-Mattie. What about this?
-I need it.
-'Least you admit it.
-Admit what, I'm an opium fiend? No, Wyatt, I just said I need it. I need something to keep me warm At night.
-Look, Mattie, I know you're-
-All right, look. I can make it Right, I can make this up to you, Mattie. I can, I swear.
-Well hello, Sherm.
-You wanted to talk?
-Yeah, kinda, wanted to see if you'd join back up with us.
-That what you got me up here for?
-You're a Cowboy, you're a Brother. Come back, no hard Feelings.
-Forget it, Ringo.
-Isn't there anything I can say That'll change your mind? You're Gonna stay with your new friends?
-'Least they don't scare women.
-Run for your lives, boys! It's That great two-gun dog-catcher From Kansas!
-McMasters, isn't it? Listen, you Seen a black stallion with-
-Look, I got a rule. I don't talk To lawmen. Dog-catchers neither.
-I'm not a lawman, I'm just a Private citizen getting' my Property back
-So what about you Cowboys anyway?
-If I had to explain it you Wouldn't understand. Just say We're brothers to the bone.
-Yeah, but some of the things they Say your brothers've done...
-No, wait. Please. I know nothin' I say'll fix things but I want You to know it wasn't me.
-No? Brothers to the bone, right?
-I ain't your brother, I ain't None of your damn brothers. Move!
-Florentino! He's getting away!
-I know that cut. You mean there's A waterhole near there?
-But this time they'll be ready.
-What'd you do that for?
-Next waterhole's Black Draw. We Could be there by mid-morning.
-There they are. No herd though.
-I don't like it.
-Well how do we look?
-Give him some good exercise? Sure Some stud. Some string in fact. What're you gonna do, race 'em?
-Boy, look at all those stars. Bet You can see every star there is. Practical touch 'em. Kinda makes You think, you know? I mean you Look up and you think God made All that but he still remembered To make a little speck like me. Kinda flattering really. Hey, Wyatt, you believe in God? No, Come on, really, do you?
-Maybe, yeah. Hell, I don't know.
-Well what do you think happens When you die?
-Got me. Somethin'. Nothin'. I Don't know.
-Really? What about hell? They got A sign or what?
-Wyatt, meet Fred White, he's town marshal.
-It's that woman from the coach!
-Hey Doc! Come on now.
-Listen to me, both of you. This Is no good. This is trouble we Don't need. For the first time in Our lives we got a chance to stop Wandering and finally be a Family. Do this and you throw it All away. You saw what happened To Fred White.
-Come on, we're not about pickin' Fights. Just gonna keep a little Order, that's all.
-Yeah?
-Like you said, just gotta know How to handle 'em. Old Fred Wasn't up to it. We know that We're doin', Wyatt.
-All right, say you're right, say You don't get yourself killed. There's something else. It's too late for Virge, he Already rolled his bone. But it's Not too late for you, Morg.
-Doc won't quit, been up 36 hours. Clanton came in an hour ago, they Switched over to poker. Tried to Get him to bed but he just won't Let go.
-How you doin', boy?
-You were right. It's nothin' like I thought. I almost wish...
-Dropped him, that was it. Sorry If I made a worse mess for you.
-That thunder's sure somethin'.
-Get down, boy.
-Morgan, are you crazy? They're Out gunning for us! What the Hell're you doin'?
-What's it look like? They want a Piece of me they can come and get It, I'm not crawlin' into my hole.
-Morg, use your head.
-I am usin' it, Wyatt. Been Wonderin' how the hell we got in This tangle. You know they hit Clum's house, too? Shot up his wife. His wife. Who ever heard of That? Men sneakin' around in the Dark, back-shootin', scarin' Women? They're bugs, Wyatt. You Know all your smart talk about Live and let live? Ain't no live And let live with bugs.
-I know, I was wrong. But Morg, Look, we got to get out.
-I just got it fixed.
-You were right, Wyatt. They got Me good. Don't let 'em get you Too.
-Will somebody get the damn dog out-
-Remember about the light you're Supposed to see when you're dyin'?
-Easy Morg, don't think about that now.
-You back that Queen again, you Son of a bitch, I'll blow you Right out of that chair! Somethin' on your mind?
-Just wanted to let you know You're sitting in my chair.
-That a fact?
-For a man that don't go heeled You run your mouth kinda reckless.
-Don't need to go heeled to get The bulge on a dub like you.
-That a fact?
-Yeah. It's a fact.
-Go ahead. Skin it. Skin that Smoke wagon and see what happens.
-Easy, gents. Private affair... Wyatt! Doc! Hey!
-Way ahead of you, Wyatt. You want Us to help you get Ike Clanton And Johnny Behan. Everybody knows They're the ones to blame for Your brothers.
-Got a sheaf of federal warrants. Being in the Territories it's up To our discretion how they're Served. That means we got the Cowboys without quarter. The Black flag, brother. No Prisoners, no mercy, amen.
-Talked it over. We decided we Don't need the money. Took out 13 Dollars each, though. Federal Posseman's fee. That all right?
-We should get moving.
-Allie-girl...And Louisa! You're So lovely. I'm at your feet, Darlin'. Just at your feet. Guess it's only right. Ma always Said you were the prettiest.
-Look at that. Busted. Brand new Money Ward, too. 33 years old And I don't even have a decent Watch. 'Bout time I started Lookin' out for myself.
-Well here we are a family again. Been so long plain forgot how Good it feels. Want to thank you For that, Wyatt. All your doin'.
-Well that's your problem. Hey Virge, see anything of Doc while You were in Prescott?
-Look pretty rough.
-Well we're off and running. Just Acquired us a quarter-interest in The game at the Oriental.
-Acquired?
-Her maiden name was Sullivan.
-Keep your eye on that brass ring. Don't let anything side-track you.
-You know, I was thinkin', maybe We ought to open our own place. That's the real money. Build it Up, milk it for all it's worth, Then sell it off for a bundle and Breeze out of this burg with more Money than Croesus and ready to Live like kings. Let's you and me Take a walk around town, Virge, See if we can
-I can't hardly believe it. It's Working out just like you said, Wyatt. We're lootin' this burg Six ways through Sunday.
-Pretty fun too, isn't it?
-I couldn't help it, Wyatt. I Looked at that woman and it was Just like somebody slapping me in The face. I mean these people're Afraid to even walk down the Street and I'm trying to make Money off it like some kind of God damn vulture. That's not me, That's somebody I don't even know.
-Virgil, please. Don't do this to me.
-It's got nothin' to do with you, Wyatt. It's-
-Maybe I jumped the gun. Maybe Those Cowboys aren't near as bad As they're painted. You know I Was thinkin', there's a lot of Money in the cattle business...
-Wait a minute, you thinkin' of Getting in bed with the Cowboys?
-Business is business. Don't have To love 'em to work with 'em. Not If there's money in it.
-Billy Clanton, Wes Fuller, and Billy Claiborne. Now there's six Of 'em. This is like a bad dream.
-Here they are again. Look at 'em.
-Wait till the liquor wears off. Once they start getting headaches They'll lose interest.
-Wyatt, they're threatening our lives.
-You'll never make that stick.
-They're carrying guns in town.
-Virge, that's a misdemeanor. You Go down there to arrest 'em, Something goes wrong, maybe this Time somebody gets his head Broke, suddenly it's a mess and It won't end there, you'll have Cowboys comin' around lookin' for Trouble from here to Christmas. You gonna risk all that over a Misdemeanor?
-No, damn it, it's wrong, they're Breakin' the law.
-Virge, you're makin' the arrest. You make contact, I'll back you Up. Morgan'll back me up, Doc'll Keep an eye out for trouble. And Keep your hands on your guns. They even look like they're gonna Start something, buffalo 'em. Right over the head.
-Wyatt, I know what I'm doin'.
-Getting late. Guess I'll turn in.
-Virgil?
-What about all these saloons?
-See what I mean about it getting Spooky?
-Curly Bill, huh? Who was that Other idiot?
-Ike Clanton, Old Man's eldest Son. Know he ain't got the stuff, Makes him miserable.
-Why don't you just leave it alone?
-No, I gotta do something. I don't Suppose you'd card-
-... What were you saying, Admiral? Something about this 'not being a job for a wine-sniffing, skirt-chasing playboy spy?'
-- I'll be sure to acknowledge 007's 'assistance' in my report to the Prime Minister. But this is, still, a naval operation.
-But -
-I appreciate your assistance, M. But this is now a military operation.
-It's too late -
-Good evening. I've just spoken with the Prime Minister at the economic summit in Tokyo; he's expecting a full update within the hour. For those of you still unaware, some forty minutes ago -
-Excuse me, but - I must formally protest this meeting. Given the nature of what's occurred - and the need for secrecy - I see no reason to involve the air force, the army, or MI-6. This is an internal affair that should be handled strictly by the officers of her Majesty's Royal Navy.
-Why wasn't the ship protected?!?! Why was it sailing without radar?
-I resent your tone, sir. I have men who are missing -
-At least we know where the gold is. When are the recovery ships due?
-36 hours. They've already sailed from the Persian gulf.
-Always nice to meet one of her Majesty's fellow subjects... Especially one with such distinguished friends.
-It's a beautiful boat, Sir Elliot. Practically glows in the dark.
-I hope you've enjoyed this little charade.
-Which part? The Colonel's? Or yours?
-A piece of advice, Mr. Bond: Don't screw with a man who buys ink by the ton. It's deadlier than uranium.
-How did you get this number?
-Oh, please, Mr. Bond. We live in the information age! Information is currency - and with the right currency, you can have any piece of information. Besides I own the phone company. What do you say? Twenty minutes?
-Mr. Bond! Nice to see you.
-Sir Elliot.
-Before I became involved with Paris, she was always involved with the most inappropriate' men... Playboys. Thrill seekers. Middle aged Peter Pans who only brought out the worst in her.
-I see.
-I tried to save her. But she remained a manic depressive: Fits, inappropriate behavior... Delusions of grandeur.
-I wonder if it runs in the family.
-Still, I do miss her. I only wish she could have lived to see all this.
-By the way - what is it that brings you to Kuala Lumpur, Mister Bond?
-I call this the Rogue's gallery.
-Yes. I can see: You've hung the rest of your relatives.
-My third great Uncle - the Earl of Aberdeen - negotiated the purchase of Hong Kong from the Chinese. His son-in-law - George Harmsway - made the first family fortune, running opium into Shanghai... His son, Thomas, who lost it, smoking the opium... And my grandfather Henry, who opened the first telegraph station, and published the colony's first English newspaper. It was a city
-So why did you leave?
-Welcome to the new world order, Mr. Bond. Churchill had his armies; Caesar had his legions; I have my divisions: News, sports, business, entertainment. And these are my foot soldiers: 2000 people working on 14 floors to feed 300 newspapers, 4 cable news networks, 87 magazines, and 29 different cable TV channels - in 35 languages.
-...Although it must be fun to have all those satellites.
-They're merely tools to disseminate information.
-Or disinformation... If you wanted to, say, beam down a signal to send a ship off course? Maybe one degree a minute?
-You see, Mr. Bond, you and I are both men of action. But your era is passing. Words are the new weapons; satellites the new artillery. And make no mistake about it: In the right hands, they can be as deadly as your Walther PPK.
-...Words to live by?
-Briefly.
-...And what's that, my dear?
-I'm sure they will.
-Are your guards really going to kill a helpless girl?
-...So that's what the weapons grade uranium was for.
-Precisely, Mr. Bond. In a matter of minutes, the boring device will arrive at the core of the reactor... And when the radioactive blades cut into the plutonium -
-- Instant melt-down.
-...As the advertising says: Tomorrow never lies.
-I'd rather die alone.
-In the Strait of Malacca, when a boat is even five minutes late, one begins to worry, Mr. Bond.
-I know. Pirates from Sumatra want the cargo; smugglers from Thailand and Burma want the ships.
-Sometimes kill the crew; other times - Torture them.
-I'm sorry.
-The Kuala Lumpur ferry was 35 miles off-course that night. Captain blamed the auto-pilot; I suspected he was drunk - until the Sumatra ferry captain had same problem.
-Did you test the auto-pilots? The satellite positioning receiver?
-Next morning. Both boats. Nothing wrong. My 90 year old grandfather thinks 'Ghost in the computer - Silicon Dragon.'
-I appreciate your time -
-Maybe you should talk to Sidney Winch. Owns a marine salvage company. Nobody knows more about the Strait.
-Where can I find him?
-I'm sure she is, James. But I'm afraid you'll have to 'kiss off' the rest of your lessons this afternoon.
-Moneypenny... Here I was, finally getting a feel for a new tongue -
-4:30. It may take me a little longer to wrap things up here.
-Four o'clock. Don't be late.
-Tsi tien, Chien-penny.
-Moneypenny! We've got to stop meeting like this. They may be on to us.
-Hello, James. Enjoy your meeting?
-By the way, James: Ordinarily I would never ask, but... Weren't you and that Colonel once stranded on a raft for two weeks in the Sargasso Sea?
-Actually, I've never known you to do either... But -
-- We all want what we can't have?
-What - no lust for adventure?
-Q! How are you?
-Retired. I'm not getting paid to help you save the world anymore.
-I'm sorry. It was a national emergency -
-That hardly makes up for the imposition. Now, for what I hope will be the very last time - pay attention, 007. First, computer generated retrograde analysis map. Body here, meteorolog- ical influences here, likely vector- ing of the ship's coordinates here.
-Do you have any idea of what any of that means? In English?
-Not a clue. I didn't lose the ship. Next, your new personal communicator. Picture-phone, fax, beeper.
-Do I have to dial '9' to get out?
-Your new car.
-- Four wheel drive?
-Yes. And do try to keep all four of them on the road. All the usual refinements: Smoke, missiles, machine guns - Fully operational remote control. Drives forward, reverse - Stop that! Plus infrared thermal imaging radar, heads up instrumentation, and 17 beverage cup holders.
-... 17 Beverage cup holders?
-I must say, Q, you seem to be doing rather well in your retirement.
-Yes -
-Wait a minute -
-Don't you think you're overreacting?
-Yes. The famous James Bond. I've heard all about you, sir. You were under direct orders to act as an observer - and yet you had to go off, on your own, like some half-assed CIA cowboy - Endangering the gold, attracting that lunatic woman, and then putting in a distress call for us to save your bloody hide.
-...That's all well and good, Captain, save for one thing: There's no gold down there.
-What are you talking about? We went through all this and the ship isn't even down there?
-Yes, the ship is down there. But the gold is gone.
-That's absurd! It took two squads of forty men fifteen days to load that gold.
-Paris?!? What are you doing here?
-Is that any way to say hello?
-Oh, James. I've missed you -
-Is this another one of your games?
-Stop it! You're hurting me! Can't you just be nice?
-Don't you even miss me? Didn't I mean anything to you?
-What about Elliot Harmsway? Or is this just another one of your stunts?
-Do you feel better now?
-What about the uranium?
-I'm so sorry, James. I promise, I'll never leave you again.
-Shhhhh...
-Paris -
-Leave me alone! He's going to kill me!!
-Why didn't you tell me? Why wasn't it in our files?
-Just - say it. Say it just once.
-His newspapers?
-More scurrilous, unsubstantiated gossip.
-Perhaps. But it does explain how an ex-KGB agent turned illegal-arms dealer is suddenly portrayed as a long-time friend of the people. If you believe what you read in the papers.
-There is one last thing, 007: Elliot Harmsway is vital to the economic interests of this nation. He's also a major contributor to the party. I expect him to be given every consideration.
-Political considerations?
-Okay, Saunders. What is it this time? Rocket in the leg? Machine pistol in the arm?
-Q's retirement party. I'd just put the knife into the cake, and -
-It must do something.
-Now pay attention, 007. We haven't much time to demonstrate your new Q toys.
-How is old Q?
-Gone fishing.
-Fishing?
-Saunders, I've lit cigarettes -
-... Shoelaces?
-Plastique explosive shoelaces. Cut them to regulate the size of the blast; totally harmless until you attach the detonator hidden in the heel of your shoe.
-Perfect way to tie up a... 'Knotty' problem?
-Moving along - A typical plastic security card. Name here, magnetic information stripe here - And a code breaking microprocessor here. Swipe it through any card reader - anywhere - you're in.
-It was an authorized test. I returned the money.
-I see...
-Finally, your new watch: Blue laser here for signaling or burning through locks; press this button, the sweep hand becomes a Geiger counter.
-If you can't do the time, don't do the crime?
-A wedding band??? What am I supposed to be able to do with this?
-Wade, what the hell are you doing here?
-I am not here, ol' buddy. The CIA has absolutely no knowledge of the missing ship, the missing gold, where it was going, or when it left Hong Kong.
-That's reassuring.
-Hey - the world is my office.
-I don't know if you'd call it a boat...
-Something with an engine? Not oars?
-What do you want with the Harbor Master?
-Tide and current charts. Work backward from the body - find where the ship sank. Where did you get the boat?
-I think I've just seen my next future ex-wife.
-Natalya?
-Yeah. Russian Minister of Transportation.
-She married a hockey player.
-I envy your 'undercover' assignments.
-I have to get these to London. Do you know this Captain Cheong?
-Spends his nights at the Kuala Lumpur yacht club.
-Can you arrange a meeting?
-Yo! Jimbo! I won five hundred - What happened?
-I dunno, Jimbo. It can't be out here. How could they get this far off course?
-Who knows? Fog, night...
-They'd never sail this close to the shore.
-I got you covered.
-Sidney Winch, meet -
-Where to now, Jimbo?
-Interesting presentation.
-Interesting video tape.
-They point, I shoot.
-Do you have a pen? I just got promoted and don't have my new cards yet.
-... Does this do anything?
-Married?
-Happily.
-... Kids?
-Three. You? Married?
-No.
-Here. I gave you my assistant's phone number. If it's urgent, she knows where to reach me.
-Thanks. Take care -
-Bourbon. Neat.
-Sometimes, you just have to plunge into things. Be reckless.
-- And I bet you always leave turmoil in your wake.
-Have we met?
-This afternoon. Our boats practically kissed in the harbor. James Bond.
-Vodka martini, shaken not stirred. And another for you?
-Boyfriend?
-Chaperone. I'm waiting for my dinner date.
-Pity. Bring him whatever he wants.
-Actually, I'm here on business. You might say it was a... Golden opportunity.
-And exactly what business are you in, Mr. Bond?
-Insurance. Lloyds of London.
-The Strait can be a very dangerous place, Mr. Bond. A few words scribbled on a piece of paper in London doesn't carry a lot of value out here. Including life insurance.
-I'll keep that in mind.
-I see my date is here. And I think Mr. Bond is ready to leave.
-Nice to run into you again.
-- Shut up!
-You have to excuse Miss Winch: She thinks she's on a 'seduce and destroy' mission through life... ...But she won't kill us.
-No?
-No. First, because I don't think it's in your nature. And second, because there's no gold down there.
-Do I have to do everything around here?
-I hope you'll be gentle.
-And what do you call this?
-If I were you -
-- You're not.
-Just remember: They think there's ten billion dollars in gold down there.
-Why don't we just take these -
-... Do you have a gun?
-What?
-You heard me. A gun? I left mine in the car.
-That's funny: you struck me as the kind of man who always carries protection.
-Harmsway sank that ship and stole the gold. It's on the Sea Dolphin II. And thanks to your little show and tell - - giving him the evidence - We're the only ones who can tie him to the crime.
-Elliot Harmsway is my Uncle!
-Blood or Dutch?
-He was my father's best friend!
-He's killed closer.
-You are seriously deranged.
-This has got to be a mistake.
-Wait here.
-... How did you get into marine salvage?
-Not a lot of difference.
-What the hell does that do?
-Down?
-What now? And don't give me some movie cliché like 'trust me.'
-Put your back to the railing. Sit up on it.
-Are you listening to me?
-Put your arms around my neck. Lock your legs around my waist.
-Sometimes you just have to -
-Is this - like - a normal day for you?
-Here. You shoot. I'll drive.
-...You know, that's another reason you're probably not in a successful relationship.
-Another reason??? Did I miss something???
-If it's radio controlled, it'll break the code.
-If not?
-Sleep well?
-What do you mean, you'd rather die alone?
-... Yes???
-Before we go any further here, Mr. Bond, from Lloyds of London, I just want to get two things straight.
-... Yes?
-First, that boat is in international waters. I'm claiming it for salvage. One-third of that gold is mine.
-And number two?
-If you think we're going to have some kind of 'life affirming' romance here just because we cheated death, let me be clear: We're going to have it where I want, and when I want.
-And when might that be?
-Thank you Colonel Everhart. 007, I'd like to see you in my office. Why don't you and the Colonel exchange numbers if you need more information?
-Come in, 007. You know the Minister?
-Tell me, 007, what do you know about Elliot Harmsway?
-- Along with Tomorrow - the first world-wide newspaper. Circulation 27 million. Daily. -
-... What's Harmsway done?
-The reason I invited the Minister here, 007, was to reassure him that this investigation will be handled with the utmost discretion.
-Of course.
-Which is also why I've withheld this information from NATO and our allies.
-... Didn't we once investigate Harmsway?
-You're to wear this mask at the Venice Carnival, and wait to be contacted.
-.... I hate to ask, but... Did you ever think you'd miss Communism?
-But if Elliot Harmsway is involved with that uranium, I want him prosecuted to the ends of the earth.
-...I'll give you a ring from Venice.
-Sorry I'm late -
-...You're turning into quite the politician, 007.
-I have an excellent teacher. 'Make sure you wear the uniform'?
-What do you make of all this?
-The infrared satellite images. No heat, no flame, no explosion. If that boat went down where they said it did, there should have been some residual heat reading on the surface.
-Sabotage?
-... And what do you call these?
-Ja-shwa tsway. These are lips.
-And what do you call these? The Gang of Two?
-Stop it!
-I was just getting to the interesting part!
-We've already done the interesting part. Do you forget?
-Sakwa!
-Is that Mandarin, or Cantonese?
-Tsi tien, Mr. Bond.
-Who's in charge here?
-I am. What do you want?
-You have precisely one minute to pull up your anchor and be under way.
-Forget it. No way. I got here first.
-What's your name?
-My name is Sidney Winch, and -
-Good for you, Miss Winch. You now have exactly 30 seconds to get this rust bucket out of here.
-I know my rights. These are international waters. The British Navy abandoned that boat, and I'm claiming it. Under international law, I have the right to salvage what's on that wreck.
-Fifteen seconds. Perhaps you should consider hiring an attorney.
-I was an attorney!
-Hmmm. I suppose this is a step above that profession. Ten seconds. Are you leaving?
-No.
-You won't get away with this!
-The Canadian Prime Minister wants to set a lunch -
-Pencil it in for the next trip -
-The American presidential candidate called to complain about that sex story -
-Send him a $10,000 campaign contribution, and explain I have no control over what my journalists write -
-Your bankers want an answer about the Brazilian TV stations
-No -
-The Queen invited you to dinner -
-Yes -
-And the 9:30 news meeting is waiting.
-Damn. It's doing it again.
-What's wrong?
-The back-up does the same thing.
-How is it now?
-A dead head. Water logged timber. Floats straight up. You sometimes see them on the east side of the channel - from the logging camps on Sumatra - but they don't usually float this far west. Muncy! Engines to half!
-Aye-aye sir. Engines to half.
-What is HE doing here?
-Obviously, the British government denies all of this -
-- I told you! He was there! -
-He brought that up from the wreck.
-...Well! I do believe this requires further investigation!
-Thank you, Uncle Elliot.
-How sweet.
-That was too close.
-The drill is in the water; approaching the intake tunnel.
-Please, Sidney. I'd like to remember you fondly.
-Approaching the first gate.
-Bore through. ...They used to say living well was the best revenge, Mr. Bond. They're wrong. Revenge is the best revenge.
-Hong Kong, Mr. Bond!
-You have to leave -
-Take the men. I can finish alone.
-Is the helicopter ready?
-Fueled and waiting.
-It's a trick! After him. They're in the south stairwell!
-They're on the bridge. Seal off the 50th floor!
-- Built to withstand a nuclear blast. Are they alive?
-Yes. Shall we kill them?
-What the hell is going on?
-It's Bond!
-I regret to inform you, sir, that Saddam Hussein is still demanding a bonus for his role in the Gulf War.
-...Haven't we already paid him for his services?
-... And there's no truth that 10% of that money will go into your Swiss bank account?
-No sir! I swear! This is not true!!
-Please sir. Please -
-Mr. Stamper will escort you to the plane.
-What about ID's?
-Oh, no.
-Who is it?
-Kim Dae Yung. North Korean Nuclear specialist.
-Who is that?!? What's in the box??
-I don't know. He's not in the database -
-Will it go off?
-Maybe. Maybe not.
-Soviet SB-9 nuclear torpedo. Yield, one kiloton.
-Will the cruise set it off?
-What time is it? Do you think you can just treat us like your slave? It's after one.
-I tried to call to let you know I was going to be late.
-I pay my own way.
-Your mother asked me not to mention it but your mother's birthday was last week.
-I hadn't forgotten. I ordered some cloth but it didn't come in and I felt so bad if I would have come to her birthday without that, I just stayed at home.
-What did your wife get her?
-Why, you don't want us to bring him over?
-No, it's that when do you have time to be parents to him? You guys don't pick him up until nine, ten at night. You are into yourselves, as the saying goes. Spend some time trying to be parents. Take him to the mountains, fishing. You ought to let him get to know nature.
-Well, you are his grandfather. He is supposed to spend some time with you. You're supposed to show him those woodsy things and this and that.
-Junior spends time with his child.
-Babe Brother, is that my shirt that you're wearing?
-Yes.
-How come you're not wearing my shoes?
-When are you boys going to fix that roof?
-Soon as I rest a bit. I meant as soon as we are back to normal again, anytime.
-When are you going to find time to help me fix the roof?
-You all don't believe me when I tell you I'm afraid of heights.
-You used that excuse to get out of the army.
-You want me to mortgage my house to invest in a scheme of yours? You know the last time we went into something together Daddy had to go in his savings to keep us from ending on the street.
-Why are you always afraid to get somewhere?
-This is not a good time to take chances. Your best friend, Robert, an accountant, lost his home and is out on the street. We see him from time to time. He comes down to church for a free meal.
-This is what it is all about, trying to keep from being out on the street.
-Robert asks about you. When are you going to do something to help him?
-Why in the hell didn't you help mama?
-I told her I would if she would give me time.
-I bet you if your master would have told you to fix the hole in the roof, you would have rebuilt the whole damn house.
-You always got the best of it around here and when Dad always talks about my son, it is always you, so you fix the roof.
-That is a damn lie and you know it. Every time father asks you to do something, you either half-ass do it or run off and hide. Mama asked you to turn the dirt in her garden and you told her, with your smart ass self, that you weren't a farmer; get Junior to do it. Every time someone asks you to do something,
-I told you about calling me boy. I ain't no boy. See, you and Dad got a bad habit of calling me boy. You call me boy in front of my wife. You think I'm going to fix the roof? I hope the wind blows the whole damn thing off and it pours down rain.
-I'm leaving and don't even call me when the shoe falls 'cause all he did for me was to try and run my life. I'm tired of people saying Babe Brother this, Babe Brother that. What's my name?
-You dumb ass, it's Babe Brother.
-I'll drive her to the hospital.
-I'm cold. I need to get out into the sunlight.
-Because you were spoiled, don't try to spoil Sunny.
-My daddy never gave me anything without my having to sweat for it. Every summer, the way they kept me and Junior out of trouble was to send us to Big Daddy's farm. We would get up with the chickens. Every summer the fence had to be repaired. The barn needed a coat of paint. We had to pip all of Big Mama's hundred
-I want Sunny to have an advantage that you and I never had, but he needs discipline, and you are not helping when I tell him to do something and you allow him to get out of it.
-What is a sip of coffee going to do?
-Coffee is bad for anybody, especially for a child.
-I don't see you crying about my drinking it.
-Why don't you come in for a while?
-You would think people never lived in a house if they have to ask what does 1 1/2 baths mean.
-Will you still get the money from your father?
-I told him we might not need it, if you can talk your parents into giving you your share of the property.
-Pops put Big Daddy's farm in Rhonda's and Sunny's name and fixed it so no one can borrow on it.
-We could borrow on that land and put the money to work.
-Why does he always pick on me?
-He is just being like all parents, concerned about the ones they love.
-Linda, how come you don't see that Sunny puts his shoes on right?
-You okay?
-I have more sense than to give up everything, my family, you and Sunny. It wasn't me, I mean the real me inside my body. I'm glad it's over. It's like a veil has been lifted.
-Like a veil has been lifted?
-It's like I've been swimming in muddy waters.
-Like muddy waters?
-It was like all those things old country people try to tell you what hell is like.
-You were in hell?
-I couldn't believe the things I was doing. It was like an internal struggle going on inside my body.
-Do you think you won?
-It was nip and tuck.
-And what lesson have we learned from all of this, Babe Br... Sam... I mean Samuel?
-Who is it?
-I was hoping you came to the door instead of him. It gets cold at night.
-This doesn't make any sense; you are going to drag that poor boy out in the cold air.
-Doesn't he look a whole of lot better?
-I need to get my suitcase out of the garage.
-What for?
-I'm going back home with Harry.
-I've heard some foolish things in my life.
-Harry is coming to pick me up.
-Have you lost your mind? Have you thought about your wife and child, not to mention your sick father? And I need your help to move his bed from under the leak in the ceiling.
-I'm busy.
-Don't make me raise my hand to you. You have to see for yourself that you are going in the wrong direction.
-Can't I be myself without you jumping in with your right and wrong? The world is not black and white. Show me one perfect person. If you can't, don't ask me to be.
-Did you ever have to use this thing?
-Don't pick up the cards if you are not in the game. Did he die?
-What is that?
-Never play with someone's else's cards. You always get a new deck. Look at this card. See anything?
-It is just a regular card.
-Son, would you do me a favor and see if you could turn off that tap in the bathroom. My hand is too weak. And would you do me another favor? I don't like asking this but would you clean the tub for me? I have trouble bending over.
-I could swear I heard my son call me.
-You probably heard the wind stirring up those dead leaves over there.
-I don't want to wear out welcome, but you can stay in someone's heart longer than you can stay in their house. Come with us, boy. We are going to have a good time.
-This would be a bad time for me to leave.
-You know it is against the city ordinance to keep chickens or live stock.
-I always had chickens, ducks and whatnots.
-Not anymore, not in the city.
-We grow most of our own food. The money I get from social security, my pension and my wife's work, keeps us living on the edge. What choice do people like us have.
-Well, you just have to move further out.
-Now how far would further out be?
-My mind plays tricks on me. Is it okay if I take a bath now?
-Babe Brother and his wife are taking advantage of a situation. I hate to be mean to people but picking Sunny up when they feel like it has to come to an end. Now I'm going to ask him how come he couldn't be at your birthday.
-Don't bother the poor boy. It just takes some people a little longer to figure out who they are.
-Let us settle this tomorrow.
-Your feet are cold.
-Go back to sleep.
-I asked you to wake me when Babe Brother comes.
-You all act like two roosters.
-I'm not going to let him get away with murder.
-You and Babe Brother are so much alike...
-He ain't nothing like me. How come a man has to have sons that are day and night apart? You ought to stop protecting him.
-Hush.
-You're always taking his side.
-Hush.
-I'm trying to make him a man but you keep babying him.
-You know, Babe Brother's wife just dumps greens in the pot without washing them.
-Well, it's up to Suzie.
-Do you want your coat? It's cold out here.
-No, I'm too hot now.
-You better be careful. You'll get a stroke arguing.
-I wouldn't care if I drop dead if he learn something from it. Son, you make me wish I was dead.
-Let us go back in before the night of celebration becomes a night of me killing my son.
-I'm worn out.
-Just stay in bed and rest.
-I have to feed the chickens before they wake everybody up.
-You stay inside. I will see to them.
-It's good to be able to hear that.
-You must have been really sick.
-How is the garden doing?
-I need to get out there and get those weeds out.
-What, are you having another party?
-You better come sit down. You are still sick.
-Since this morning.
-What happened to your hand?
-What did you put on it?
-He's going to check out heaven first. He gets a round trip ticket to heaven. He gets in heaven and finds it just like back home. People dripping with sweat, working in the fields, hardly surviving. He asked a man who was getting a drink of water, "I thought the streets were paved with gold." "They are but you won't see them," he said.
-I don't want to hear any joke about colored people being in hell. You're being irreverent.
-I'm almost finished. I'm about to come to the punch line.
-I don't want to hear any tales about colored people...
-But these are white people, anybody. The punch...
-I don't care to hear any jokes about people being in hell. This cut on my hand reminds me that it is nothing to laugh at.
-This is my grandson, Sunny. He is my youngest son's child.
-Boy, that is bad luck to touch a fellow with a broom.
-I came all the way from Detroit by bus going to Oakland. The bus stopped in Los Angeles. I had to get off and take a rest. I'll catch the last bus leaving at midnight. I'm just too tired to go on.
-Why didn't you catch a plane?
-My feet have never been on anything that wasn't directly attached to the ground.
-Stay until you feel better? I would like to hear all the news.
-Man, put your boxes down and stay as long as you like. We have empty rooms since the boys got their own families and moved out.
-Man, act like this is your home.
-It's the boy next door throwing at his birds. I'm just waiting on him to hit a pane in the window
-Good morning.
-You ought to come hear our preacher. Remember old Cat Iron? Well, our preacher is just as strong.
-Next time when I feel a little better perhaps.
-I was going to get up and get a hen out there for dinner, but time got away.
-Oh, I would feel much at home if you let me get one for you. I haven't wrung a chicken's neck in a month of Sundays. You know, folks would call my daddy to kill their hogs. That used to be my trade from time to time.
-How often is your wife called to help delivery?
-What could have caused this? I just changed this damn thing.
-Everything these days is made overseas.
-You and Babe Brother hit it off so well.
-Course, it is your business, but I feel obliged to tell you that maybe you have not been fair with the boy.
-I tried to teach him right from wrong just like I did his Junior.
-Everyone has to follow his own plough. A man doesn't have to know how to cut a wick and clean a chimney nowadays. City people don't give a hoot and a holler about the shape of the moon nowadays. You don't plant old ways... ... but, at the end, you find yourself doing what your father did but you have to have the land
-You're suppose to teach your children what you know. Junior, I don't have to worry about. Babe Brother is a different story.
-You still call him boy. You call Babe Brother boy in front of his wife and son.
-My daddy called me boy up to the time he died. I was always boy to him.
-Haven't the years been good to Hattie?
-Boy, I thought you were about to cross the river.
-Stranger my foot, it was my grandmother who helped you into this world.
-Good evening. It must be all the different time zones I crossed that makes me feel this weary.
-You should go back and rest.
-One can tell you are from back home. These people nowadays don't know what manners are.
-Those days you could always find something redeeming about even the worst person.
-You remember that boy who lost his mind, Joe? You could hear him pitching horseshoes at night in the dark. He wouldn't miss a one. Make him mad and call yourself running in the house to be safe. He would pick up a brick and say "go on in there brick and hit somebody" and it would find its mark.
-I was afraid to go to Marcus Bottom because of him.
-I have someone I want you to meet.
-Harry, you know everything.
-What's the problem here?
-How is everybody?
-Ah, you young folks don't know how it is. How is Gideon today?
-He wasn't able to get out of bed today.
-I hope that it's nothing serious.
-He has never gotten rid of the malaria. He is usually up and at it the next day. I'm going to make him fresh chicken broth.
-Can you watch Gideon for a while? One of the girls is going into labor. Junior is going to drive me over.
-That smells like fresh coffee.
-Let me get you a cup?
-How is he doing?
-As long as he keeps his throat clear, he is able to get some rest.
-Good afternoon, ladies.
-As God is my witness, I have never done anything to that woman.
-You must have done something to her.
-Since she has repented, all she does is throw stones.
-Hattie is a different person now.
-I don't make no bones about where I'm going to spend eternity. I have always been wild and you know that. If you are made to feel half a man, what do you think the other half is?
-I'm glad you brought that up as to who you are. I have to know who is in my house.
-You invited me.
-There is something that I always wanted to know. Tell me, how did those boys die?
-Now who are we talking about?
-Miss Clara's boy, Emory, to start with. The Johnson's Hocker was another one...
-Wasn't Hocker lynched?
-You know as well as I do that it was made to look like he was lynched. Now who would hang someone from a persimmon tree?
-Hocker's death almost caused a race riot. A lot of innocent people could have been hurt behind that.
-I think if anybody had a hand in killing Hocker, you ought to ask or you should have asked Emory and Chick.
-Chick was outright killed by a mob. He killed a white man that owed him some money and when they caught up with him, they tied him behind a car and dragged him from out of the hills back to town.
-Those boys never did have good luck.
-You damn right they didn't, especially Emory, my cousin.
-A woman in family way just reminds of spring and my younger days.
-That's nice.
-How many people do you all feed?
-Last Saturday we handed out over two hundred meals.
-Good God Almighty, bless your bones. But the problem grows.
-Week by week the crowds at the door keeps getting larger. We can't feed all the hungry.
-I don't know if we could take one in with Rhonda and me at home alone at times.
-I couldn't believe it when Suzie called and said you were staying here. How have you been?
-Girl, do you still sing and dance?
-Harry, that's not nice. I'm in church now.
-Why run out and close the barn door when the horse is gone? I remember when you weren't saved. That was way back yonder when the Natchez Trace was just a dirt road.
-Some people grow up and change their ways.
-I know your mother ain't still operating that house of hers.
-None of your business.
-You know the saying, "your heart is in your left hand."
-Now I was trying to be nice, to make conversation, since we go back some.
-I was quoting from the Bible. If the shoe fits, wear it.
-An empty wagon makes a lot of noise and you, tappy head, you ain't worth the salt you put in greens.
-Is this your house?
-In the meantime Harry can slaughter us a hog.
-I appreciate you lending me a hand. That lazy ass brother of mine was suppose to help me.
-Well some folks are still waiting for their comeuppance. Don't take me wrong but you can't judge people by how you act. You're a caring person.
-He should be caring. That is not too much to ask.
-Ya, but you can't do the shuffle with one leg. You and your wife, in your spare time, work with the less fortunate. Now I'm not talking about you and what you do but some folks that always run to help the victim, deep down are attracted to pain and suffering and love to be near the dying.
-All the people working with us are really doing it 'cause they hate to see suffering.
-You don't act like the rest of Gideon's friends. They believe if you are not hard at work, you are hard at sin.
-Not you mustn't touch. Your mama might not like you handling knives.
-I think he wants to see your rabbit foot.
-I let this rabbit foot do in place of my toby that I lost years ago.
-What's a toby?
-You don't want to be at crossroads without one. It's a charm that old people teach you how to make. I had one for a long time that belonged to my grandmother who had it ever since she was a child. In my travels I misplaced it. I have been looking over my shoulder ever since.
-I thought you weren't old fashioned.
-Did you have your child at home?
-No. No. No. No. I had my Child at Cedars and Sinai. And that ain't no county hospital. You have to have cash or check before you come in the door.
-Some folks take that natural stuff too far.
-Junior's wife kept her afterbirth' in the refrigerator. That's why I do not eat over there now.
-No, but I might have some Indian Chief Tonic.
-You know Harry lied about how that boy Hocker got kilt. And it was Harry who saw Emory last before they found him hanging over a levee like someone would hang a hog.
-I remember Harry always trying to help someone. He got Lulla's daughter out of trouble. He was always running to the store for someone who couldn't leave the house.
-You know Okra asked me to marry him the other evening.
-Rush your mouth, girl. No, he didn't. He cannot be that big of a damn fool.
-I asked Harry about it. He didn't own up to it. He said he didn't know what got into Okra.
-He's just raffish. Harry put him up to it. Before evening sun sets, I would have his belongings back on Route 55, that old fox.
-I can't accuse him just dry long 80.
-Everybody who have been associated with Harry end up with pennies over their eyes.
-What must I do?
-We can't really bring another family in here with us.
-Why not? Harry says that's the only way to do good.
-When did you talk to Harry?
-He just leeches off your parents. He is a master at wearing out welcome.
-Harry is the kind of guy you would love to take out in the woods and leave under a rock.
-Now you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.
-You shouldn't talk about the boy's father in front of him. This is family business and we have to pull together.
-What are you doing?
-Counting the gray hairs in your head.
-Counting the what? What does that have to do with the price of butter?
-I was just trying to make conversation.
-Where is Skip?
-He is in his pigeon cage.
-I'm sorry he got those birds.
-How are you?
-Tolerably well. I brought you some more rabbit manure for your roses.
-I didn't mean for you to pay me for that.
-I know you didn't but you have been so thoughtful.
-But when your sunflowers come up, I'll pay you for them.
-Wow! Cool!
-Whadda ya think?
-Can we leave this up 'til we move?
-Well, sure, we can leave it up.
-Yeah!
-Now go get Molly. Your friends are going to be here any minute.
-Come on down, guys. It's time for games! We've got prizes!
-To infinity and beyond!
-Oh, all this packing makes me hungry. What would you say to dinner at, uh, oh, Pizza Planet?
-Can I bring some toys?
-You can bring ONE toy...
-Mom! Do you know where Buzz is?
-Andy! I'm heading out the door.
-But Mom, I can't find him!
-Well, honey, just grab some other toy! Now c'mon!
-I couldn't find my Buzz. I know I left him right there.
-Can I help pump the gas?
-Yeah?!
-Yeah -- when you're sixteen.
-Next stop...
-Mom, have you seen Woody?
-Where was the last place you left him?
-Right here in the van.
-Oh, I'm sure he's there. You're just not looking hard enough.
-I looked everywhere, honey, but all I could find was your hat.
-But what if we leave them behind?
-Everybody say, "Bye, house."
-Hey! Wow!
-What? What is it?
-Woody! Buzz!
-Oh, great, you found them. Where were they?
-Here! In the car!
-Which one can I open first?
-Aach! -- Oh, hi, Bo.
-I wanted to thank you, Woody, for saving my flock.
-Oh, hey - it was nothing.
-Whadda ya say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight?
-You'd think they've never seen a new toy before.
-Uh, let what? I don't -- Uh, what do you mean? Who?
-What are you doing over there?
-We're almost there.
-Whoooooah! Oh! Bo! There's gotta be a less painful way to get my attention.
-Say, isn't that mistletoe?
-Hello-o-o...
-Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed, here, is my spot.
-I need to repair my turbo boosters. Do you people still use fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystalic fusion?
-Well, let's see, we've got double A's --
-Yes. They're Andy's toys.
-Toy?
-T-O-Y. Toy.
-Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is Space Ranger.
-He's not a Space Ranger! He doesn't fight evil or shoot lasers or fly --
-They are a terillium-carbonic alloy and I CAN fly.
-No, you can't.
-Yes, I can.
-You can't!
-Can!
-Can't! Can't! Can't!
-I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!
-Okay then, Mr. Lightbeer! Prove it.
-Why, thank you. Thank you all. Thank you.
-Listen, Lightsnack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me.
-And another thing. Stop with this spaceman thing. It's getting on my nerves.
-Don't even think about it, cowboy!
-You actually think you're THE "Buzz Lightyear?" Oh, all this time I thought it was an act! Hey, guys! Look! It's the REAL Buzz Lightyear!
-You're mocking me, aren't you?
-Oh, no, no, no... Buzz, look! An alien!
-What's going on?
-Nothing that concerns you spacemen. Just us TOYS.
-Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device?
-That's why. Sid.
-Sure is a hairy fellah.
-THAT is Sid!
-I could have stopped him.
-Buzz!! Oh, Buzz, Buzz Lightyear!! Buzz Lightyear, thank goodness! We've got trouble!
-Trouble?! Where?!
-Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy...it's...it's trapped, Buzz!
-Right? Buddy?
-I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
-Oh. Oh, that's good.
-But we're not on my planet, are we?
-According to my nava-computer, the --
-Shut up! Just shut up, you idiot!!
-Sheriff, this is no time to panic.
-This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're going to move from their house in two days and it's all your fault!!
-My fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place --
-Oh, yeah? Well, if YOU hadn't shown up in your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me --
-Don't talk to me about importance. Because of YOU the security of this entire universe is in jeopardy.
-Buzz! Buzz, come back!
-Now you're sure this spacefreighter will return to its port of origin once it jettisons its food supply?
-Uh-huh. And when we get there, we'll be able to find a way to transport you...home.
-No, no, no, wait, Buzz, Buzz, let's get in the back. No one will see us there.
-Ow! Watch where you're going!
-Wait a minute! No Buzz! This way! There's a special ship. I just saw it!
-You mean it has hyperdrive?
-C'mon, c'mon, that's it...
-Spaceship.
-What's gotten into you, Sheriff? I was --
-I've set my laser from stun to kill.
-I sure hope this isn't permanent.
-Woody, we don't know what's out there!
-They're gonna eat us, Buzz!! Do something! Quick!
-It's not working. I recharged it before I left. It should be good for hours --
-Get away! Hoo-cha! Hoo-cha!
-Hey!! Hey! How are you doing that? Stop that!
-Woody, stop it!!
-Another stunt like that, cowboy -- you're going to get us killed.
-Don't tell me what to do!
-What happened to you?
-I think you've had enough tea for today. Let's get you out of here, Buzz.
-Oh, I'm a sham!!
-Sh-h-h-h-h!! Quiet, Buzz.
-But -- the hat looked good. Tell me the hat looked good! The apron is a bit much, it's not my color...
-Come on, this way!
-Oh, come on, Buzz. I...Buzz, I can't do this without you. I need your help.
-I can't help. I can't help anyone.
-Why, sure you can, Buzz. You can get me out of here and then I'll get that rocket off you, and we'll make a break for Andy's house.
-Andy's house. Sid's house. What's the difference.
-Oh, Buzz, you've had a big fall. You must not be thinking clearly.
-No, Woody, for the first time I am thinking clearly. You were right all along. I'm not a Space Ranger. I'm just a toy. A stupid little insignificant toy.
-Whoa, hey -- wait a minute. Being a toy is a lot better than being a Space Ranger.
-Yeah, right.
-No, it is. Look, over in that house is a kid who thinks you are the greatest, and it's not because you're a Space Ranger, pal, it's because you're a TOY! You are HIS toy.
-But why would Andy want me?
-Buzz!! What are you doing? I thought you were --
-Come on, Sheriff. There's a kid over in that house who needs us. Now let's get you out of this thing.
-Woody! It's the moving van.
-Shhhhhhh!
-What?!
-Nice work, fellahs. Good job. Comin' out of the ground -- what a touch! That was a stroke of genius.
-Hold on, Woody!
-I can't do it! Take care of Andy for me!
-Well, thanks for the ride.
-Great!
-Woody! The rocket!
-Woody?! What are you doing?
-Ha-ha!!
-Ahhh!! This is the part where we blow up!
-Hey, Buzz!! You're flying!!
-This isn't flying. This is falling -- with style!
-Uh, Buzz?! We missed the truck!
-Me? No, no, no, no... Are you?
-It doesn't matter how much we're played with. What matters is that we're here for Andy when he needs us. That's what we're made for. Right? Everyone is now looking down, sheepish.
-Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting, but THEY'RE HERE! Birthday guests at three o'clock!
-No, no! Turn 'em around, turn 'em around!
-Eh, he's puttin' 'em in backwards!
-It's not a laser! It's a little lightbulb that blinks!
-Oh, impressive wingspan. Very good!
-Hi!
-Something's screwy here.
-Oh, boy. Will ya take a look at all those presents?!
-Hey, watch it!
-Let's string him up by his pull- string!
-B-3.
-Miss. G-6.
-Ohhh! You sunk it!
-Heh-heh.
-Are you peeking?
-No, no, not the ear. Gimme the nose. C'mon!
-Son of a building block, it's Woody!
-Oh, that is disgusting.
-What?
-Did I get my package in the mail?
-I dunno.
-Whaddaya mean, you don't know?
-I don't know!
-Oh no, Hannah!
-What?
-Hey!!
-She's sick!
-No she's NOT --
-I'll have to perform one of my...operations!
-Sid, give her back! Give her back now! I'm telling!
-MOM!! MOM!!
-Oh, no!
-Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear?
-Well, that MISTAKE is sitting in your spot, Woody.
-Oh, really? I'm from Playskool.
-Gettin' kind of tense, aren't you?
-That ain't no happy child.
-Huh?! Huh?! I told you he was guilty.
-Aa-a-a-a-ah!
-Will you quit moving around?!
-I'm sorry. It's just that I get so nervous before I travel.
-Well, obviously she wanted to have the party before the move. I'm not worried. You shouldn't be worried.
-A lunchbox?!
-Laser-envy.
-Yeah. Like the attic. Heh, heh...
-Who is it this time?
-Wait a minute. You -- you don't think I meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you Potato Head?
-That's Mr. Potato Head to you, you back-stabbin' murderer!
-Good going, Slink! Now, just, just tie it on to something!
-Did you all take stupid pills this morning?! Have you forgotten what he did to Buzz? And now you want to let him back over here?
-No, no, no! You got it all wrong, Potato Head. Buzz is fine! Buzz is right here. He's with me!
-You are a liar!
-Wait just a minute. What are you trying to pull?!
-No! No, no, no, no!
-You murdering dog!
-No, it's not what you think, I swear!
-No! No! Don't leave! Don't leave! You've gotta help us, please! You don't know what it's like over here!
-No wait! You don't understand! Buzz is out there! We've gotta help him!!
-Toss 'im overboard!
-ROOAAAARR!!!
-Were you scared? Tell me honestly.
-C'mon, guys! Every Christmas and birthday we go through this.
-But what if Andy gets another dinosaur? A mean one? I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection.
-If I send out the troops, will you all calm down?
-Yes! Yes! We promise!
-Shouldn't they be there by now? What's taking them so long?!
-Ha ha. That's very funny, Buzz. This is serious!!
-Hi ya, fellas. To infinity and beyond!
-Hey look! It's Buzz!
-They're getting bigger.
-What the heck is up there?
-It's Sid!
-We believe you, Woody. Right, Rex?
-It's too short! We need more monkeys!
-I got it, Woody!
-Uh, hey Sarge, have you seen Slinky?
-Sir! No Sir!
-Sargent. Establish a recon post downstairs. Code red. You know what to do.
-Come in, Mother Bird, this is Alpha Bravo.
-This is it! This is it! Quiet, quiet, quiet!
-Okay, we're on the last present now...
-Last present!
-Mission accomplished. Well done, men. Pack it up, we're going home.
-There.
-Juvenile intrusion! Repeat! Resume your positions NOW!
-Buzz. Buzz Lightyear. You are not worried, are you?
-Yessss! Ah, ha, ha, ha...
-Oh, no...it's a Combat Carl.
-This is ludicrous.
-Not now, Mom, I'm BUSY!
-Reach for the sky!!
-This town ain't big enough for the two of us!
-Somebody's poisoned the water hole...
-W-w-w-we?
-Hey, Slinky?
-I'm red this time.
-No, Slink --
-Oh...well alright, you can be red if you want.
-Not now, Slink. I've got some bad news.
-Bad news?!
-Just gather everyone up for a staff meeting and be happy!!
-Woody, what are you doing under the bed?
-Heh, heh, heh! Golly bob howdy --
-Woody?!
-Boy, am I glad to see you guys!
-Ha, ha, oh, I love you, too.
-Woody! Speed up!
-I can't hold on much longer!
-You'll need to know who we are, we're the brothers of his wife, which makes us in an unsanctified kind of way, your uncles. Me name is Finn, me brother is called Francie -
-But you're Irish!
-You'll put your clothes here.
-There's no mirror.
-I can manage.
-He's a pyjama case, really.
-Do you know you've lovely hair, even if you torment it in those braids.
-I like plaits.
-Curled up on the landing like love locked out!
-I did like the music.
-He can't abide a woman in trousers. He says a woman in trousers is a sin against nature.
-A sin against <i>what?</i>
-Is there anything else I should know about him?
-I saw his teeth in the bathroom.
-Mummy was scared of him, I think. He went to her wedding but he was <i>furious</i>, you can see it in the photograph.
-He made that. In his off hours.
-It's as though he'd trapped a real cuckoo inside.
-Don't fret. It's only his dream. Dreams aren't catching, not like measles.
-I want to go home.
-Home is where the heart is.
-She's not accustomed to being ignored.
-She'll have to learn.
-What was <i>that</i> in aid of?
-That's your beach. This is the story. Leda walks by the shore, gathering shells. Night comes on. She hears the beating of great wings and sees the approach of the swan. She runs away but it bears down and casts her to the ground. Curtain.
-Is that all?
-Finn, there's a splinter in your left foot. If you don't let me take the splinter out, it will fester.
-Go away.
-I won't do it because he wants me to do it, even if I want to do it.
-Do what? Oh, I see.
-You're only a young thing.
-You're not so old yourself!
-Who's there?
-Can I come into bed with you for a little while, I feel terrible.
-Well ... yes. All right. But -
-Would you mind holding me in your arms for a little while?
-Finn -
-You <i>are</i> cold. Where have you been?
-I finished it off.
-He'll murder you when he finds out.
-He'll be looking for another apprentice.
-I hope he doesn't pick on Jonathon.
-The swan was so ridiculous. All the same, it did scare me.
-Stop it!
-I've got a present for you...
-Finn ...
-Reprieve.
-Somebody couldn't wait until dark.
-H'm?
-Nothing ... You shouldn't have given Victoria that Guinness.
-It was only a mouthful!
-I thought she was fondest of you, because you were the youngest.
-Did you now.
-Surely she is older?
-How long has -
-I already lost everything once.
-So did I.
-But then I had a brother and a sister left.
-So had I.
-Everything is gone, now.
-'Have ploughed the stormy seas - '
-They're going to fly everywhere. Mean things. They should have taken us.
-We're too young.
-I'm not too young. Juliet was my age.
-Juliet who?
-I'm Melanie.
-Did you do this?
-Victoria -
-You're well built; how old are you?
-Sixteen. Well, nearly sixteen.
-Oh no you can't. Get on with the painting.
-I appreciate you coming in so early.
-Judge Wakefield, it's an honor to handle it for you. Consider it gone away. She's a minor; it probably would've expunged on her 18th birthday anyway.
-Still, this was a sensitive issue for me and I wanted to thank you personally.
-One thing bothers me... That kid they dropped off had coke and heroin in him. Serious amounts. He's lucky he lived. So I gotta ask: what's your daughter on?
-I don't know what you mean.
-I... I don't really know.
-Is she in any kind of therapy... professional help?
-No, of course not. She's one of the top students at her school.
-Even if that were true, they're not going to come to your house where you're waiting for them.
-Anna. What's wrong? What do you want?
-I can't find Manolo.
-He's not here.
-He never came home last night. Was he with you?
-What? What is it?
-Why does he need money?
-He has debts. He has gambling debts. He owes a lot of money.
-How much?
-What is he planning on telling them?
-If Manolo hadn't gone and told them what he did then Salazar and Madrigal would never have been brought to justice. He did a great thing for Tijuana. He did a great thing for Mexico.
-I want to believe you. I really do.
-Helena, I'm so sorry --
-I understand. You're upset. You want to know what's going on. That's good.
-Why are you talking like that?
-Good. From now on I want you to expect that every word you utter will be tape-recorded, that the movement of your lips is being read. Got it?
-Got it? Good. Do not discuss anything over the telephone. Do not talk to the neighbors. Stay out of your yard.
-What is he being charged with?
-I don't know, but under no circumstances would I talk about it here. I want you to go home and relax the best you can. Continue your life as if nothing has happened. That is very important.
-Arnie, I feel like Alice stepping through the looking glass.
-I am on the board of my son's school. I had a fundraiser for A.L.V. in my front yard. I have a right to know if my husband is a legitimate businessman.
-If all our assets are frozen and our "sales force" has scattered... How am I supposed to survive? I'm giving birth in three months. How do I get through this?
-You're gonna get through it, but the first thing we do is get Michael Adler to represent Carl. We get Adler and we beat this thing.
-How much do I pay him?
-This place is swept twice a day. I learned that in Miami in '85. Then the U.S. shut down the whole Caribbean, but it's a big game of wack-a-mole. Knock it down in Miami, it pops up here. And San Diego is so much more relaxing.
-Arnie, I need money. Somebody threatened my children. They want a first payment of three million dollars.
-Helena, if I had it I would give it to you, but I don't have that kind of money.
-Arnie, help me. Doesn't anyone owe us money?
-Yes, I told you before, there are people who owe you money but they're not paying. There's too much heat on Carl.
-Even if I knew I wouldn't tell you. You do not want to come into contact with these people. Only Carl knows who they are. That's his real asset. Ruiz doesn't know them. They don't know Ruiz. Church and State.
-What about legitimate businesses? We own a construction concern, real estate --
-Laundromats for the washing of money. Unfortunately, Carl had only one successful business.
-Sometimes I wonder what I'll do if Carl doesn't get out. I'm not very adept at being on my own. I've always had a man in my life. Always.
-I remember when I first met you: little Helen Watts from the wrong side of somewhere. I had a feeling even then that your survival instincts were pretty well honed.
-That was a stupid thing you did. Incredibly stupid.
-I tried, Arnie. And, I will continue to try.
-Have you gone crazy? You are not Carl. You aren't as good as Carl. They are moving the trial to a high security location. The press has gone berserk. The jury will be influenced. Stay out of things. Let us try to win the case.
-Helena, please. This is out of your hands.
-Helena --
-I need an introduction to the Obregon Brothers.
-Did you get it?
-It's the same stuff? From the rainy day stash?
-It's Saturday, Arnie. You work too hard.
-Don't bother.
-What?
-So Arnie, when were you going to tell me about the 3 million dollars we got in from San Francisco two days after I got arrested?
-I was just waiting for the right time.
-And you didn't feel like you could trust my wife with this news?
-I just didn't want to take a chance. I didn't want to risk it. It could have been frozen along with everything else.
-You had it all figured out. You move into my house. You raise my kids. You sleep with my wife. It was a good plan, Arnie.
-Carl, that's insane.
-So my wife is lying?
-Arnie, do think there's a difference between a reason and an excuse, because I don't think there is.
-Carl --
-Like a Grateful Dead Concert.
-So you know we put the case before the arbitration panel, none of whom had any expertise. Superfund is just one of those words. People stop paying attention.
-That's frustrating.
-I think she's lying.
-Me, too.
-We'll ground her, clip her wings a bit. School and scheduled activities and that's it until further notice. This has to be handled delicately. Dan Kelly, in the District Attorney's office, will probably help us out, quietly. Christ, this could be embarrassing.
-Honey, this is difficult, but we've all had our moments. I tried --
-Stop. You experimented in college. I don't want to hear about that.
-Should we take the quotes off experiment and call it what it is?
-This is different.
-Why?
-To begin with, she's only sixteen years-old.
-I think she has to find out for herself, on her own. We have to allow her space --
-Space for what? To O.D. like that other kid? I will not send the message that this type of behavior is okay with her parents. Because it isn't. Correct?
-How long have you known?
-Six months. I found some marijuana, that's all. And a little pipe about two inches long. I talked with her. She said her friends smoked pot and drank --
-Explain to me how you could think that I shouldn't know about this. Explain to me how this wouldn't be relevant to me. As a parent.
-I think we may have found our Mexican Drug Czar. It's this General, Salazar. At least I'll have somebody on the other side I can talk to.
-You might want to pencil in a little face-time with your daughter.
-Barbara --
-Because I'm at the edge of my capabilities, Robert.
-The first thing we have to do is present a unified front.
-If you start in on the war metaphors I'm going to drive this car into a fucking telephone pole.
-Look, I'm as worried as you are --
-No, I don't think so. Leave me alone, give me money. That's what I get from our daughter. She has a way of shutting me out that seems very familiar.
-I'm not the one who has to have three scotches just to walk in the door and say hello.
-I have a drink before dinner to take the edge off my day. That's different.
-Oh, it is?
-Should we bring the police into this?
-About the other night, I'm sorry.
-Me, too.
-God, I don't get it. Are we supposed to say to ourselves, be prepared to lose her, be prepared to lose our child? Why does this happen to someone? How does it happen?
-My Leica's gone.
-So's the video camera.
-Where are you going?
-Did you meet the President?
-Czar for life, just like a real czar.
-None of my friends can fucking believe my dad is the actual Drug Czar.
-Caroline --
-Did you tell Dad?
-Not yet.
-Are you going to?
-I don't know.
-Is this bad for him?
-He didn't hang around us. He's like one of those hippie kids. I'm not part of that group. It was a party in all these rooms. His girlfriend who I barely know was completely hysterical... He's blue, he's puking... We didn't want to get in trouble, but what were we supposed to do? I mean, what would you have done if you had been
-How well do you know this boy, Seth, who was driving? You know the police have charged him with a DUI and possession of marijuana.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-What's up?
-Just watching you.
-You all right?
-How's David?
-How's David? How's David? He's terrific, Carl.
-Helena --
-We'll get through this, I promise. I'll make it up to you --
-How? Supportive letters from prison while I'm being kicked out of our home? Do you have any idea what is happening out here? Our credit cards are maxed. The people at the bank, you should see their faces when I walk in there. I have a letter from the government telling me that anything I sell from our house will be taken against an
-Helena --
-What's it like? Imagine you're being accosted by a swarm of beggars in the heart of Calcutta, except the beggars are wearing $1500 suits and they don't say "please" or "thank you."
-What about legalizing everything? Has anybody talked about that?
-What if every country legalized at the same time?
-As it happens, the President of the United States, my new boss, the leader of the free world, has me penciled in for some "face time".
-Will we get invited to the White House?
-I don't know.
-How long's the job?
-Where is it? Where are the drugs? Where are they?
-Okay, young lady, that's it.
-What is wrong with you? What? You're going away. You're getting help somewhere.
-You can't make me.
-...How old are you?
-Sixteen
-Live with your parents?
-Yes.
-Parents still together?
-Yes.
-Do you work?
-I volunteer. I read to blind people. One day a week for two hours.
-In school?
-Private?
-Yeah.
-How are your grades?
-I'm third in my class.
-What's that mean?
-I get A's. All A's.
-You do? What else you do?
-What are you doing?
-Inhale the smoke and hold it.
-What is this, like freebase?
-Ach, that's what I'm talking about. Sarcasm. Always fucking sarcasm. You're afraid and you think if you admit it people will think you're weak or won't like you --
-Are you kidding... I'm staying with you --
-You know my dad takes eight red cold pills every day? He and my mom have cocktail hour every night, from six to seven, set your clock, two bourbons --
-Maybe we could show up and smoke a little rock with them to unwind --
-Yeah, then some dope to take the edge off at the end of a long day.
-Have you done your homework, honey?
-Yes, mom --
-Did Courtney Love play Nancy in Syd and Nancy?
-I think so. If she didn't she should have. I've only got maybe an hour. Then volleyball practice is over and I have to be home.
-No telltales. Nothing to read. Not touching my face. Not even blinking. No giveaways. How're you feeling?
-I feel good.
-No more pissant basin league bullshit for us, hunh?
-Chill out --
-Move 'em to Texas, fry 'em up.
-That's a big word for a fisherman.
-They're whispering. I can't hear them, but I know it. I smell conspiracy. I feel the lie vibrating out of the home.
-She ain't in on it.
-I have dreams about this, actual dreams about busting the top people, the rich people, the white people.
-I'm telling you, she doesn't know shit.
-She knows Arnie Metzger.
-So does half of San Diego.
-You should see little Montel play. Little Montel is the next Maradona.
-Maradona is a cokehead. Hand of God, my ass. We're wasting our time here.
-He won. He was a winner. That bothers you.
-Are you getting this on tape?
-What do we do?
-What do you think she wants?
-Remember when we sat on that mob guy, that chef, for like six months?
-Oh, man, I've never eaten so good in my life. Why don't you develop a useful skill?
-What do you think it is?
-Depends who it's from.
-Your friends at Warren, Putnam and Hudson.
-You can learn a lot about somebody from this stuff. Three categories: you like me, you hate me, you want something from me. Definitely third category.
-What would a law firm want from the new drug Czar?
-Depends on the state.
-Arizona.
-I'll put this in the back.
-No --
-All the professionals keep them in the trunk.
-Not Tiger Woods.
-David --
-Women's room, stall two. Should we stop for ice-cream?
-Yes.
-I'm on a special phone, may I speak freely?
-You may speak.
-You were followed by the police, but they won't hear us over the children. I want to use a bomb.
-You're kidding. Can't you shoot him or something?
-I don't really like guns. You shoot someone in the head three times and some doctor will keep them alive.
-When will you do it?
-I don't know. Eduardo Ruiz is the only real witness against Carl. The security is very tight. There may not be a way.
-They're going to walk right past me.
-So, it's worth the wait, right? What can I do? Rent a Huey? Have an airlift? It's not like you can put it in a condom up some mule's asshole, right? How many peasants would that take? A line stretching from here to Mexico City --
-You planning on going somewhere, Eduardo? You don't like it here? This is the best situation you're going to have for a long, long time.
-I am a legitimate business. Fishing boats. Tuna. Check it out. Tax records, everything --
-Listen you motherfucker, you tried to kill me with a fucking cannon.
-You can't visit me here. I want my lawyer.
-One chance here, Eduardo. Make us believe you got a boss. No boss, it's all on you.
-It's a death sentence. I'll never make it to the trial.
-Carlos, I mean Carl, started out in the family connection business: real estate in Tijuana, fishing boats out of Ensenada, hydroponic raspberries. He met up with the Obregon brothers of the Tijuana Cartel who were interested in two things: entering society and using his fishing boats.
-So you pay off our customs officials?
-This attitude's not gonna help him any, is it?
-I got greedy. I decided to bring a little in on my own and somebody tipped you off. That was my mistake. Carl would never be so stupid.
-He hired you. That was a mistake.
-This is ridiculous. Why is there no elevator?
-You expect me to be grateful for spending the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.
-Can't you for a second imagine none of this had happened? That my drugs had gone through. What would have been the harm? A few people get high who are getting high anyway. Your partner is still alive. We avoid having breakfast together. Don't you see this means nothing? That your whole life is pointless?
-You're breaking my heart.
-The worst thing about you, Monty, is you realize the futility of what you're doing and you do it anyway. I wish you could see how transparent you are. This food tastes like shit.
-So go shower already.
-I want to know who is responsible for this treatment.
-Yes, sir!
-We aren't barbarians.
-Yes, sir!
-Bring this man a change of good clothes. Has he eaten?
-I don't know, sir.
-Yes, he threatened to kill my five year-old son. I was under the impression I would be meeting Juan Obregon.
-No, this is not possible. And I thank you for coming down here, though I suspect it's been a pointless journey.
-Why do you say that, Mr. Marquez?
-I hear these stories. Your husband in jail. His business in chaos. Various people fighting over the scraps.
-My husband is the victim of an informer in your organization, not ours.
-That is not true, Mrs. Ayala. Your route is compromised. Perhaps it is time for me to deal with other distributors in California.
-I don't think you're going to do that.
-You don't? Listen to this woman in a man's world, a very violent world.
-There are plenty of other suppliers in Mexico.
-My husband had been working on something he called, The Project for the Children. Are you aware of this?
-I don't know. Perhaps I remember something.
-We have the ability to change the color, odor, and physical property of cocaine.
-You want to smuggle narcotics in Mr. Espastico Jacobo. That's nothing new.
-Every part, from his ears to his accessory belt, is high-impact, pressure-molded cocaine. Odorless. Undetectable by dogs. Undetectable by anyone.
-You first.
-I'm six months pregnant. I won't do it.
-Fine, then we don't have deal.
-That's good coke.
-It should be... It's yours. I want our debt forgiven. I want to be the exclusive distributor of Obregon Brothers Cocaine for the United States. And I want the principle witness against my husband, Eduardo Ruiz, killed.
-Take this back with you. Deliver it safely to Tigrillo in San Diego and we have a deal.
-That's crazy. My husband is on trial for smuggling.
-You will help me with my other problem.
-Wasn't that General Salazar?
-Yeah.
-What's he doing up here?
-Relax. If they were going to kill us they would have done it in the desert.
-If you want her to stay out of it, then stop telling her everything. You should learn how to keep a secret.
-She's nosy. She hears me on the telephone.
-Please. Filing a report will not help you find your car.
-This is fucking crazy. Instead of killing us, he sends us on a suicide mission. Do you know who Frankie Flowers is? He's a psycho-cokehead- hitman. A faggot. He's killed fucking who knows how many people. You'd need half the force to get close to him. And you can't get their help because he lives in fucking San Diego.
-A group of us are going out tonight.
-Who?
-Guzman, Tomas, Esteban --
-Your new friends.
-Yeah. It should be fun. You wanna come?
-It's no problem. I was just with everybody we work with.
-Oh, really. General Salazar was there?
-No, but a lot of other people. You should come. You should come out with us.
-Madrigal's alive.
-What?
-Javi! Come on. Don't pull this you don't care bullshit. This is incredible information. It must be. Javi --
-Somewhere safe.
-Where?
-A place we have, that we know is protected.
-It's important that we work together. Mexico. America. One hand washing the other.
-We agree.
-So... maybe you tell me about your informants in our operations.
-We thought maybe you'd have that kind of information for us.
-You should feel good about this.
-What's your name?
-Javier Rodriguez.
-One question. How did you find about this?
-An informant.
-What is the name of your informant?
-That's your past. I want to talk about your future. Would you be willing to do something for me?
-If I can.
-I'm trying to bust the Tijuana Cartel.
-What is it you want me to do?
-Does this offer include my partner?
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-Only if he can be trusted.
-I'm curious how you did this with such economy.
-You watch and learn. I earn his trust. Then more pain. Then I appear with kindness. Within a week he will follow me around like a dog.
-But will he be house-trained?
-The cocaine brand, 911, is an East Coast brand, a Juarez Cartel brand, and you must know it usually comes through into El Paso?
-I'm aware of that.
-Let me ask you a hypothetical question: if Salazar worked for Madrigal and the Juaraz cartel, and he went out of power, would it mean the Juarez Cartel is losing influence?
-It could mean that, yes.
-That would probably mean the Tijuana Cartel is gaining power?
-It's possible.
-My work keeps me young.
-Which part, getting terrorists loose on bail or freeing convicted murderers on technicalities?
-The worst serial killer in history - who? Gacy - right? Killed forty two people. Our government killed fifty thousand in Vietnam and lied about it every day.
-Michael, you represent drug dealers, not civil libertarians.
-We kidnapped Noriega out of Panama. Is that covered in your Constitution? Because it isn't in mine.
-Noriega is a criminal.
-Noriega was head of a sovereign nation who made the mistake of doing business with the U.S. Government. So, no, I don't have a problem waking up every day and fighting our government, fighting people like you, trying to keep this system a little bit honest.
-Last I read your clients were chopping people up with chainsaws and delivering illegal narcotics into this country.
-I hope when you were on the bench, Judge Wakefield, you didn't handle the presumption of innocence in the same fashion.
-The busiest land border crossing in the world. Over forty-one thousand vehicles per day, twenty-two thousand pedestrians on foot. I think we do a pretty good job but we know a lot of drugs are still getting through.
-Any idea how much?
-I've read official estimates but I wouldn't bet my house on them. I've heard the entire cocaine supply for the United States can fit into four tractor-trailers. At least a half-dozen of those cars right out there are carrying a load of dope, with drivers employed by people who don't give a damn if they're caught or not.
-What do you look for?
-We ask questions and measure the answers. When something doesn't ring true, a fact that doesn't make sense, a slight hesitation, then it's off to secondary for a closer look. Before NAFTA we had about 1.9 million trucks a year. Now it's almost double. Pretty soon there'll be Mexican truck companies that will have as much freedom in crossing the border as American truck
-Any way we can do it better?
-Sure. More money in intelligence on their side of the border. So we have a better idea who we're looking for. More dogs. More people. Supposed to be getting some giant x- ray machines to run the trucks through. Outside of martial law that's about the best you're gonna do. But, I should tell you, there are two things that really have us on
-That triple the amount of stuff is going through.
-I'm looking for my daughter, Caroline. She comes here.
-This is a business. Get the fuck outta here.
-Who the fuck do you think you are? Where the fuck do you think you are? Why the fuck do you think I shouldn't just put you in a dumpster?
-I have money --
-I got money.
-I'll pay you a thousand dollars. I have it in my wallet.
-I want your money, I'll take your money.
-She's not at that place you sent her?
-She snuck away. And we haven't seen her. She hasn't come home.
-Oh, man --
-She hasn't called you?
-Can you tell me anything? Do you have any ideas?
-I don't know what to say.
-I'm not the police. I don't care about experimentation. She's a kid. I'm worried to death.
-You won't say anything to my parents?
-I don't give a fuck about your parents --
-We sometimes went downtown to score.
-What?
-The West End. We buy it off the streets. I can stop, you know, and she can't. Two people, really similar, we can talk about anything, but for me it's like a weekend thing, then I get my shit together, and for her it's different --
-Hey man, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help.
-I don't know, maybe we missed her.
-I can't believe you used to bring my daughter here, to this place.
-I recruited the best men in Mexico for my task force and put them through a rigorous screening process. Not only physical, but also psychological.
-I'd like to bring you up to Washington, walk you around our side of things, and share some of the information we've been able to develop on your cartels.
-You've been making very good progress against the Tijuana cartel.
-Yes, I am confident that Juan Obregon will be taken into custody before the end of the year. But, you must understand that it is very difficult because of corruption in the police force. We get a tip that he is one place, then we get there and he is already gone, having been warned by someone on our side.
-Hopefully the exchange of training methods and information between our countries will help with this problem.
-Yes, I hope so as well.
-Let me ask you a related question. We've talked about the supply side, but what about demand? What is your policy for treating addiction?
-I just want to be clear about one thing. I used to work for him, but now I work for you. I'm not a partisan person, I'm an issue person. In the next few weeks, if you allow me, we'll get you well-versed on an incredible array of issues. The most important of which, in my opinion, being Mexico. I know everybody that you're
-Like you protected Landry?
-Hello.
-Salazar's been taken down. He was working for Porfirio Madrigal.
-What? I thought Madrigal was dead. I thought it was verified.
-Apparently not. Look, it's a shit storm here right now. When are you coming back? I don't know what to tell people any more.
-I'll get there as soon as I can.
-Who are these guys?
-He died in a liposuction surgery, right?
-Who do we interface with on their side?
-What do you mean?
-I mean, who runs interdiction on the Mexico side?
-What do we do? Okay. Fucked-up Bowman's turning blue. Doctor. We need a doctor.
-Your dad's a doctor. Call him --
-He's a research doctor. You're dad's a doctor, too --
-What kind of research?
-Mapping the fucking pig genome. We'll call your dad, he's a neurosurgeon --
-Did you tell him?
-What?
-The cards. The last thing I said to you was mind the cards.
-Well, I've not brought them.
-It's fucking boring after a while without the cards.
-Well, I've not brought them.
-It's fucking boring after a while without the cards.
-I'm sorry.
-Bit fucking late, like.
-Well, why didn't you bring them?
-Because I fucking told you to do that, you doss cunt.
-OK. Same again?
-I'll be right after you.
-I want the money, Mark, that's all.
-I don't know, maybe I'll buy something for my ma, and then buy some good speed, no bicarb like, then get a girl, take her out like, and treat her -- properly.
-Shag her senseless.
-No, I don't mean like that -- I mean something nice, like, that's all --
-Shut you mouth or you'll be next.
-You've stabbed me, man.
-Twenty thousand.
-But it's not worth more than fifteen.
-For fuck's sake.
-Sorry, mate, I'll get you another.
-All down my fucking front, you fucking idiot.
-Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.
-And remember, Rents: no skag.
-It's a scandal, Franco.
-What?
-Hey, I'm wanting a bet put on.
-Can you not go yourself.
-I'm no a fucking buftie and that's the end of it.
-Yes, you fucking do. I've seen your statement.
-Jesus.
-Two thousand, one hundred and thirty- three pounds.
-This was his nightmare. The dodgiest scam in a lifetime of dodgie scams being perpetrated with three of the most useless and unreliable fuck-ups in town. I knew what was going on in his mind: any trouble in London and he would dump us immediately, one way or another. He had to. If he got caught with a bagful of skag, on top of
-Buy yourself that island in the sun?
-We'll be half-way down the road with the money.
-I'd fucking kill you.
-Cool down, Franco. The guy's sorry.
-Excuse me, I don't mean to harass you, but I was very impressed by the capable and stylish manner in which you dealt with that situation. I thought to myself: she's special.
-Thanks.
-What's your name?
-Diane.
-Where are you going, Diane?
-I'm going home.
-Where's that?
-It's where I live.
-Great.
-What?
-Do you find that this approach usually works, or, let me guess, you've never tried it before. In fact, you don't normally approach girls, am I right? The truth is that you're a quite, sensitive type but if I'm prepared to take a chance I might just get to know the inner you: witty, adventurous, passionate, loving, loyal, a little bit crazy, a little
-Eh-
-Well, what's wrong, boy? Cat got your tongue.
-Diane.
-Ssshh!
-Sorry.
-Christ, I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978.
-Right. You can't sleep here.
-What?
-Out.
-Come on.
-No argument. You can sleep on the sofa in the living room, or go home. It's up to you.
-Jesus.
-I don't see why not.
-Because it's illegal.
-Holding hands?
-No, not holding hands.
-In that case you can do it. You were quite happy to do a lot more last night.
-Calm down. You're not going to jail.
-Easy for you to say.
-Can I see you again?
-What do you want?
-Are you clean?
-Yes.
-Is that a promise, then?
-Yes, as a matter of fact, it is.
-Calm down, I'm just asking. Is that hash I can smell?
-No.
-I wouldn't mind a bit, if it is.
-Well, it isn't.
-Smells like it.
-You're too young.
-You're not getting any younger, Mark. The world is changing, music is changing, even drugs are changing. You can't stay in here all day dreaming about heroin and Ziggy Pop.
-It's Iggy Pop.
-Whatever. I mean, the guy's dead anyway.
-Iggy Pop is not dead. He toured last year. Tommy went to see him.
-It's so simple. We buy it at four grand, we punt it at twenty to this guy that Sick Boy knows, and he punts it at sixty. Everyone's happy, everyone's in profit. I put up two. I come away with six.
-Unless you get caught.
-So long as everyone keeps their mouths shut, we'll not be getting caught.
-So why have you told me about it?
-Well, you're not going to tell anyone, are you, and besides, I thought we could meet up afterwards, maybe go somewhere together.
-I've got a boyfriend, Mark.
-What? Steady like?
-That's right: 'going steady' for four weeks now.
-And what age are you? Thirteen? Fourteen?
-Sixteen next month.
-Happy birthday.
-So, what's he like?
-I read it in Cosmopolitan.
-It's an interesting theory.
-Actually it's a nightmare. I've been desperate for a shag, but watching him suffer was just too much fun. You should try it with Tommy.
-What, and deny myself the only pleasure I get from him? Did I tell you about my birthday?
-What happened?
-Tommy knew he had the virus, like, but never knew he'd gone full-blown.
-What was it, pneumonia or cancer?
-No, toxoplasmosis. Sort of like a stroke.
-I bet Lizzy told him where to put it.
-Exactly. I'm not wanting a cat, she says. Get to fuck, right. So there's Tommy stuck with this kitten. You can imagine what happened. The thing was neglected, pissing and shitting all over the place. Tommy was lying around fucked out of his eyeballs on smack or downers. He didn't know you could get toxoplasmosis from cat shit.
-Tommy, let's put the tape on.
-Now?
-Yes, I want to watch ourselves while we're screwing.
-What do you mean, it's 'gone'? Where has it gone, Tommy?
-It'll be here somewhere. I might have returned it by mistake.
-Well, Mr. Renton, I see that you attended the Royal Edinburgh College.
-Indeed, yes, those halcyon days.
-One of Edinburgh's finest schools.
-Oh, yes, indeed. I look back on my time there with great fondness and affection. The debating society, the first eleven, the soft know of willow on leather --
-I'm an old boy myself, you know?
-Oh, really?
-Do you recall the school motto?
-Of course, the motto, the motto --
-Strive, hope, believe and conquer.
-No, actually I went to Craignewton but I was worried that you wouldn't have heard of it so I put the Royal Edinburgh College instead, because they're both schools, right, and we're all in this together, and I wanted to put across the general idea rather than the details, yeah? People get all hung up on details, but what's the point? Like which school?
-Mr. Murphy, do you mean that you lied on your application?
-Only to get my foot in the door. Showing initiative, right?
-You were referred here by the Department of Employment. There's no need for you to get you "foot in the door", as you put it.
-Thank you, Mr. Murphy. We'll let you know.
-Morning, Spud. Sit down and have some breakfast.
-I'll put the sheets in the washing machine just now.
-No, I'll wash them. I'll take them home and bring them back.
-There's no need.
-It's no problem.
-No problem for me either. Honestly, it's no problem.
-I'd really rather take care of it myself.
-Are you getting out much?
-No.
-Following the game at all?
-No.
-You take the test?
-Aye.
-Clear?
-Aye.
-That's nice.
-I'm sorry, Tommy.
-Have you got any gear on you?
-No, I'm clean.
-Thanks, Mark.
-Good luck, Spud.
-Cheers.
-Now remember --
-Yeah.
-If they think you're not trying, you're in trouble. First hint of that, they'll be on to the DSS, 'This cunt's no trying' and your Giro is fucking finished, right?
-Right.
-But try too hard --
-And you might get the fucking job.
-Exactly.
-Nightmare.
-It's a tightrope, Spud, a fucking tightrope.
-My problem is that I tend to clam up. I go dumb and I can't answer any questions at all. Nerves on the big occasion, like a footballer.
-A little too well, if anything, a little too well, that's my only fear, compadre.
-Another dab?
-I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin?
-Goldfinger's better than Dr. No. Both of them are a lot better than Diamonds are Forever a judgement reflected in its relative poor showing at the box office, in which field, of course, Thunderball was a notable success.
-People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shite, which is not to be ignored, but what they forget - Spud is shooting up for the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. Take the best orgasm you ever had, multiply it by a thousand
-I would say, in those days, he was a muscular actor, in every sense, with all the presence of someone like Cooper or Lancaster, but combined with a sly wit to make him a formidable romantic lead, closer in that respect to Cary Grant.
-You Only Live Twice?
-Nineteen-sixty-seven.
-Running time?
-One hundred and sixteen minutes.
-Director?
-Lewis Gilbert.
-Screenwriter?
-Eh - Ian Fleming?
-Fuck off! He never wrote any of them.
-OK, so who was it, then?
-Who wrote it?
-But you're looking better, it has to be said. Healthier. Radiant even.
-You don't know, do you?
-And I wondered if you'd care to go to the park tomorrow.
-The park?
-Tomorrow afternoon. Usual set-up.
-Who wrote it?
-Roald Dahl.
-It's certainly a phenomenon in all walks of life.
-What do you mean?
-Well, at one time, you've got it, and then you lose it, and it's gone for ever. All walks of life: George Best, for example, had it and lost it, or David Bowie, or Lou Reed -
-Some of his solo stuff's not bad.
-No, it's not bad, but it's not great either, is it? And in your heart you kind of know that although it sounds all right, it's actually just shite.
-So who else?
-Charlie Nicholas, David Niven, Malcolm McLaren, Elvis Presley. -
-All I'm trying to do is help you understand that The Name of the Rose is merely a blip on an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory.
-What about The Untouchables?
-I don't rate that at all.
-Despite the Academy award?
-That means fuck all. The sympathy vote.
-Right. So we all get old and then we can't hack it any more. Is that it?
-Yeah.
-That's your theory?
-Yeah, Beautifully fucking illustrated.
-Do you see the beast? Have you got it in you sights?
-I think Allison had been screaming all day, but it hadn't really registered before. She might have been screaming for a week for all I knew. It's been days since I've heard anyone speak, though surely someone must have said something in all that time, surely to fuck someone must have.
-Oh, fuck. Sick Boy reaches out to Allison.
-It wasn't my baby. She wasn't my baby. Baby Dawn. She wasn't mine. Spud's? Swanney's? Sick Boy's? I don't know. Maybe Allison knew. Maybe not. I wished I could think of something to say, something sympathetic, something human.
-Say something, Mark, say something --
-Eughh. Sounds horrible.
-It wasn't that bad.
-Did he -- you know?
-What?
-You know.
-No, he didn't make me touch it.
-Oh no, don't even mention it.
-He made me lick it.
-God, you're sick.
-And I got a stitch stuck between my teeth, jerked my head back and the whole fucking stump fell off.
-Cut it out.
-When are you going to visit him?
-Don't know. Maybe Thursday.
-Fuck you. OK, so Tommy's got the virus. Bad news, big deal. The gig goes on, or hadn't you noticed? Swanney fucks his leg up. Well, tough shit, but it could have been worse.
-You're all hear.
-I know a couple of addicts. Stupid wee lassies. I feed them what they need. A little bit of skag to keep them happy while the punters line up at a fiver a skull. It's easy money for me. Not exactly a fortune, but I'm thinking, 'I should be coining it here.' Less whores, more skag. Swanney's right. Get clean, get into dealing, that's
-Fuck you.
-I can't believe you did that.
-I got a good price for it. Rents, I need the money.
-It was my fucking television.
-Why?
-Well, this guy I've met runs a hotel. Brother. Loads of contacts. Does a nice little sideline in punting British passports to foreigners. Get you a good price.
-Why would I want to sell my passport?
-What?
-There's a mate of swanney's. Mikey Forrester -- you know the guy. He's come into some gear. A lot of gear.
-How much?
-About four kilos. So he tells me. Got drunk in a pub down by the docks last week, where he met two Russian sailors. They're fucking carrying the stuff. For sale there and then, like. So he wakes up the next morning, realizes what he's done and get very fucking nervous. Wants rid of this. {---------- He's looking for Swanney to punt it, but
-So?
-So he met me and I offered to take it off his hands at a very reasonable price, with the intention of punting it on myself to a guy I know in London.
-What was your price?
-Four Grand.
-But you don't have the money?
-We're two thousand short.
-That's tough.
-Come on, Mark, every cunt knows you've been saving up down in London.
-From time to time, even I have uttered the magic words.
-Are you serious?
-Yeah. No more. I'm finished with that shite.
-Well, it's up to you.
-I'm going to get it right this time. Going to get it set up and get off it for good.
-Sure, sure. I've heard it before.
-The Sick Boy method.
-Yeah, well, it surely worked for him.
-He's always been lacking in moral fibre.
-He knows a lot about Sean Connery.
-That's hardly a substitute.
-you'll need one more hit.
-No, I don't think so.
-What's on the menu this evening?
-Your favourite dish.
-Excellent.
-Your usual table, sir?
-And would sir care to settle his bill in advance?
-Stick it on my tab.
-Regret to inform, sir, that your credit limit was reached and breached a long time ago.
-No, thank you. I'll proceed directly to the intravenous injection of hard drugs, please.
-Great.
-And see when I get out of here. I've got plans. Going to get myself straightened out and head off to Thailand, where women really know how to treat a guy. See, out there you can live like a king if you've got white skin and a few crisp tenners in your pocket. No fucking problem.
-Sure.
-The strategy is this: get clean, get mobile, get into dealing, and this time next year I'll be watching the rising sun with a posse of oriental buttocks parked on my coupon.
-Sounds great, Swanney.
-Yeah.
-You'll have to send us a postcard.
-This had better be good.
-It will be. It'll make a change for three miserable junkies who don't know what they want to do with themselves since they stopped doing smack.
-If I'm giving up a whole day and the price of a ticket, I'm just saying it had better be good. There's plenty of other things I could be doing.
-Such as?
-There.
-It's the great outdoors.
-It's really nice, Tommy. Can we go home now?
-It's fresh air.
-Look, Tommy, we know you're getting a hard time off Lizzy, but there's no need to take it out on us.
-How's it going with Gail?
-No joy yet.
-How long is it?
-Six weeks.
-Six weeks!
-It's a nightmare. She told me she didn't want our relationship to start on a physical basis as that is how it would be principally defined from then on in.
-Where did she come up with that?
-She read it in Cosmopolitan.
-Six weeks and no sex?
-Useless motherfucker, that's what she called me. I told her, I'm sorry, but theses things happen. Let's put it behind us.
-That's fair enough.
-Yes, but then she finds out I've bought a ticket for Iggy Pop the same night.
-Went ballistic?
-Big time. Absolutely fucking radge. 'It's me or Iggy Pop, time to decide.'
-So what's it going to be?
-We go for a walk.
-What?
-A walk.
-Well, what are you waiting for?
-What do you see as your main strengths?
-I love people. All people. Even people that no one else loves, I think they're OK, you know. Like Beggars.
-Homeless people?
-No, not homeless people. Beggars, Francis Begbie -- one of my mates. I wouldn't say my best mate, I mean, sometimes the boy goes over the score, like one time when we -- me and him -- were having a laugh and all of a sudden he's fucking gubbed me in the face, right --
-Mr. Murphy, {leaving your friend aside,} do you see yourself as having any weaknesses?
-Qual se tu?
-It is I. The journey you undertook to reach me could not have been an easy one.
-It was not. The Barrier stood between us - but we breached it.
-Magnificent. You are the first to find me.
-We sought only your infinite wisdom.
-And how did you breach the Barrier?
-With a starship!
-This starship, could it carry my wisdom beyond the Barrier?
-It could. Yes.
-Then I shall make use of this starship.
-He has his doubts...
-Why? Why have you done this to my friend?
-No, no, it's not possible.
-Bring me the ship or I will destroy you!
-The ship....
-I couldn't help but notice you pain.
-My pain?
-Bad news, gentlemen. Shore leave's been cancelled.
-Rescued at last.
-Don't tell them you're lost. You'll never live it down.
-My visual says sunny skies and seventy degrees.
-Sulu! Look! The sun's come out! It's a miracle!
-Admit it. We're lost.
-Um... yes. We've been caught in a blizzard!
-Sulu, what are you doing?
-Plotting our new course.
-New course? You have no authority. What's going on here?
-Following new course. Warp seven.
-In firing position. Torpedo armed.
-Shuttle en route.
-Position, Bird of Prey?
-Mr. Chekov, I've lost the Bird of Prey. She must have cloaked.
-Raise shields.
-But the shuttle-
-What's Emergency Landing Plan B?
-This is the Starship Enterprise.
-A Federation starship.
-This is Captain Pavel Chekov speaking. You are in violation of Neutral Zone Treaty. I advise you to release your hostages at once or suffer the consequences.
-You are a master of understatement. They are likely to destroy the planet.
-Then it's fortunate that I have you and your starship to protect me. In the meantime, Captain Chekov, I instruct you and your First Officer to beam down to my coordinates.
-What's going on?
-I instruct you to surrender. You are under attack by Federation forces.
-Can we have it quiet?
-Enterprise, this is Starfleet Operations. Come in.
-Bob?
-You caught me on my way to the shower.
-I apologize for canceling shore leave, but look, we have a dangerous situation out on Nimbus III.
-On "The Planet Of Galactic Peace?"
-The Klingon, the Romulan, the Federation consuls. Now I know Enterprise is not exactly up to specs...
-With all due respect, the Enterprise is a disaster. There must be other ships in the quadrant.
-Other ships, yes. But no experienced commanders. Captain, I need Jim Kirk.
-Oh, please.
-Your orders are to proceed to Nimbus III, assess the situation and avoid a confrontation if possible. Above all, however, get those hostages back safely.
-Have the Klingons responded?
-No, but you can bet they will.
-Besides, I can't believe you'd kill me for a field of empty holes.
-Your pain runs deep.
-What do you know of my pain?
-Where did you get this power?
-The power was within you.
-I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my heart. How can I repay you for this miracle?
-Join my quest.
-What is it you seek?
-What you seek. What all men have sought since time began - ultimate knowledge. But to find it we'll need a starship.
-A starship? There are no starships on Nimbus III.
-Perhaps I have a way to bring one here.
-But how?
-You told me you could have the ship operational in two weeks. I gave you three. What Happened?
-I think you gave me too much time, Captain.
-Very well, Mr. Scott. Carry on.
-Don't you worry, Captain. We'll beat those Klingon devils even if I have to get out and push.
-Scotty here, Captain. Transporter is still inoperative. Even if we could lock onto the hostages, we couldn't beam them up.
-Captain, we can't trust anyone now.
-Mr. Scott, get the transporter working. If we contact a rescue ship we'll need it. Which way to the turbo shaft?
-Head down that tunnel to the hydro vent and turn right. Then left at the blowscreen. You can't miss it.
-She's got partial power, sir. I might be able to take two of you.
-Mr. Scott apologizes for having to send the shuttlecraft. The transporter beam is non-operational. Captain, we've received important orders from Starlet Command.
-Why didn't you beep my communicator?
-Captain, Starfleet transmission on line.
-Captain, we're receiving the hostage information you requested.
-Standard orbit, Mr. Sulu.
-Captain, we're receiving transmission from Paradise City. They're demanding to know our intentions.
-Respond with static. Let them think we're having difficulty. Which wouldn't be far from the truth.
-Paradise City, can you boost your power? We're barely receiving transmission.
-Bird of Prey bearing one zero five mark two.
-Spock - What are you doing in this neck of the woods?
-I regret to inform you that the record for free-climbing El Captain is in no danger of being broken.
-I'm not trying to break any records. I'm doing this because I enjoy it. Not to mention the most important reason for climbing a mountain...
-And that is?
-Because it's there.
-Ah, Captain?
-MM.?
-On the contrary. Gravity is foremost on my mind. Look, I'm trying to make an ascent here. Why don't you go pester Dr McCoy for a while?
-Concentration is vital. You must be one with the rock.
-Oh, God
-Oh, no. It isn't that. I knew I wouldn't die because the two of you were with me.
-I don't understand.
-What are you doing?
-Oh. I believe we are required to engage in a ritual known as the singalong.
-"Pack Up Your Troubles."
-"Row, row, row your boat..." I love "Row..." Do - do you know "Row, Row, Row, Row, Row Your Boat?"
-That song did not come up in my research, Captain.
-Come on, Spock. Why didn't you jump in?
-Captain?
-Spock, we're on leave. You can call me Jim.
-Jim.
-Yes, Spock?
-Life is not a dream.
-Go to sleep, Spock.
-Yes, Captain.
-Goodnight, Spock.
-I could use a shower.
-Not General Korrd.
-The same. He's apparently fallen out of favor with the Klingon High Command.
-What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost.
-Spock, what is it? Do you know this Vulcan?
-I cannot be certain.
-But he does seem familiar?
-I do not often think of the past.
-Who is it he reminds you of?
-There was a young student, exceptionally gifted, possessing of great intelligence. It was assumed that one day he would take his place amongst the great scholars of Vulcan. But he was a revolutionary.
-What do you mean?
-He rejected his logical upbringing and embraced the animal passions of our ancestors.
-Why?
-When he encouraged others to follow him, he was banished from Vulcan, never to return.
-Klingon vessel now entering quadrant. Bird of Prey. Estimating 1.9 hours until her weapons come to bear.
-Their equipment is primitive but effective. I recommend we land at Coordinate 8563.
-That puts us pretty far away from Paradise City.
-To land any closer would risk detection.
-At footspeed I estimate the journey to Paradise City at 1.2 hours.
-Spock.
-Yes, Captain?
-Be one with the horse.
-Exactly 15.5 seconds.
-You must allow us to act.
-Damnit, Spock. God damnit!
-Captain, what have I done -
-What you have done is betray every man on this ship.
-Worse. I have betrayed you. I do not expect you to forgive me.
-Forgive you? I ought to knock you on your goddamn ass!
-You stay out of this! Why, Spock? Why? I.. All you had to do was pull the trigger.
-If I had pulled the trigger, Sybok would be dead.
-I ordered you to defend this ship.
-You ordered me to kill my brother.
-Look, the man may be a fellow Vulcan, but that doesn't...
-You mean he's your brother brother? You made that up!
-I did not.
-You did too. Sybok couldn't possibly be your brother because I happen to know for a fact that you don't have a brother.
-Technically, you are correct. I do not have a brother.
-There, you see? See?
-I have a half brother.
-Exactly. That is correct. Sybok's mother was a Vulcan princess. Upon her death, Sybok and I were raised as brothers.
-Why didn't you tell me this before?
-I was not disposed to discuss... matters of a personal nature. For that, I'm sorry.
-There's got to be a way out of this place.
-This is a new brig, Captain. It is escape-proof.
-How do you know?
-The designers tested it using the most intelligent and resourceful person they could find. He failed to escape.
-This, er, person... didn't by any chance have pointed ears and an unerring capacity for getting his shipmates into trouble, did he?
-Is it possible?
-Is what possible?
-There Sha Ka Ree is fabled to exist.
-But the center of the galaxy can't be reached. No ship has ever gone into the Great Barrier. No probe has ever returned.
-Sybok possessed the keenest intellect I have ever known.
-Spock! My only concern is getting the ship back. When that's done and Sybok is in here then you can debate Sha Ka Ree until you're green in the face. Until then, you're either with me or you're not.
-I am here, Captain.
-You're right. I'm a little out of practice. Uh....that's an "s."
-A "t."
-New word. "b".. "a"... um...
-There is an emergency sending apparatus in the forward observation room.
-I believe I have found a faster way.
-Hmmm?
-It would appear we are too heavy.
-Spock... the booster rockets.
-If I activate them now, Captain, we will be propelled upward at an unbelievable rate.
-Spock.
-The emergency channel, open.
-...mark two.
-Spock... don't.
-What is this?
-Spock?
-Spock, I thought I was going to die.
-Maybe he's not out there, Bones. Maybe he's right here... in the human heart Spock?
-I was thinking of Sybok. I've lost a brother.
-I must have your starship.
-Who are you?
-James T. Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise.
-No! No reply. Remain on course.
-What are you doing?
-We must change our course at once.
-I trust your message was received?
-You can't expect us to stand by while you take the ship into the Great Barrier.
-What you fear is the unknown. The people of your planet once believed their world was flat. Columbus proved it was round. They said the sound barrier could never be broken. It was broken. They said warp speed could not be achieved. The Great Barrier is the ultimate expression of this universal fear. It's an extension of personal fear. Captain Kirk, I so much
-Sha Ka Ree. "The Scource." "Heaven." "Eden." call it "Qui'Tu." To the Romulans, it's "Vorta Vor." The Andorian word is.. unpronounceable. Still, every culture shares he common dream of a place from which creation sprang. For us, that place will soon be a reality.
-The only realty I see is that I'm a prisoner on my own ship. What is this power you have to control the minds of my crew?
-Spock... What have you done to my friends?
-No... I didn't.
-Now learn something about yourself.
-Wait! You know we'll never make it through the Great Barrier.
-But if we do, will that convince you that my vision was true?
-Your vision?
-Given to me by God. He waits for us on the other side.
-You are mad!
-About the ship...
-The ship needs its Captain.
-No special conditions?
-No conditions.
-What makes you think I won't turn us around?
-What have I done?
-Kirk to Enterprise. Listen carefully...
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-Borgus Frat.
-"Let's see what she's got," said the Captain. And then we found out, didn't we?
-I know you'll whip her into shape, Scotty. You always do.
-Uhura, I thought you were on leave.
-And I thought we were supposed to be going together.
-Oh, I cannot leave her now when she needs me the most.
-They can't be serious. The ship's in pieces and we've less than a skeleton aboard.
-Easy, easy, easy, Scotty. Easy. You're back with us.
-Uhura, I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that a madman had taken over the Enterprise.
-Scotty, dear, he' not a madman.
-He's not?
-No, no, no. Scotty - Scotty... There's so much I want to tell you.
-Spock, you've developed a sense of humor after all.
-It was not my intention to amuse you. These are serious charges. However, if you surrender now-
-I am a Starfleet Officer.
-Sybok, you must surrender.
-Put him in the brig with Captain Kirk. Spock, you will accompany me to the bridge?
-No. I will not.
-Each man's pain is unique.
-I hide no pain.
-I know you better than that.
-Spock?
-I cannot go with you.
-Why not?
-I belong here.
-I don't understand...
-Sybok - this is not the God of Sha Ka Ree - or any other God!
-Sybok.
-This is my doing. This is my arrogance... my vanity...
-Sybok, we must find a way...
-You did break in.
-Tried to. Can't quite make the connection with that sucker, though. If I had a direct terminal ...
-Are you embezzling?
-"Embezzling" is such an ugly word, Mister Bailey... No, actually I'm trying to get a legal brief together.
-I don't get it.
-Sherman, set the Wayback Machine for...oh, 1973. Kevin Flynn is one of the brightest young software engineers at ICOM. He's so bright that he starts going in there at night, and sets up a private memory file, and begins writing a program for a video game he is inventing, called... ...Space Paranoids.
-You invented Space Paranoids?
-Yepper. And Vice Squad, and Meltdown... whole slew of 'em. I was this close to starting my own little enterprise. But: enter Ed Dillinger. Another software engineer -- not so young, not so bright, but very, very sneaky. One night, our boy Flynn goes to his terminal, tries to read up his file, and ... nothing. A big blank. We now take you to
-Senior exec.
-Oh my. Meanwhile, kids are putting eight million quarters a week in Space Paranoids machines and I'm not seeing one dime.
-I still don't get why you're trying to break into the system.
-Dillinger?
-Not if my Tron program was running. That would seal the system off. If your file's in there...
-Hi, Alan.
-My dinner.
-I was wondering where you got that glow of good health.
-Want one?
-Flynn! I made it. I worked out some new codes for Tron, put 'em on a disk, and -- it's running.
-Your old files -- ?
-And Dillinger's instructions to divert them -- it's all there - look, even his home phone number, when he logged on.
-Shouldn't you wait till your lawsuit's settled?
-How's it going upstairs?
-Did you say Group 7 access?
-Yeah...pain in the neck, you know, I was all set
-Did he say why?
-Something about tampering. Some body's prob'ly trying to siphon the R&D budget into his checking account, I don't know. Why are you so interested?
-Flynn had Group 7 access.
-Flynn had access to you, too. I'm not interested in talking about him.
-Oh, I wish you'd forget about that. It was all so long ago. I've totally gotten over it.
-Okay, okay...
-I want to go to his place.
-You call that getting over it?
-What for?
-To warn him.
-Of what?
-For what?
-For being on to Dillinger.
-Flynn!
-I don't think I'm cleared for this.
-Beautiful!
-Hello, Alan.
-Not disintegrating, Alan -- digitizing. While the laser is dismantling the molecular structure of the object, the computer maps out a holographic model of it. The molecules themselves are suspended in the laser beam. Then the computer reads the model back out, the molecules go back into place, and... voila.
-Great. Can it send me to Hawaii?
-Ever since he got that Master Control Program set up, system's got more bugs than a bait store.
-Well, you have to expect some static. Computers are just machines after all, they can't think...
-They'll start to soon enough.
-Come on in...
-Alan. Alan Bailey.
-Well, I don't know...I just tried to run this program I've been working on, and I was denied access all of a sudden. I thought maybe I'd been laid off and nobody told me.
-oh, you have Group 7 access, don't you?
-Yeah...?
-We have to close that down, just briefly. Security reasons. Someone with that access has been tampering.
-I hope you don't think it's me. I don't even balance my checkbook on downtime. I've got a Honeywell at home for that.
-No, no, I'm sure, but -- you understand. It should only be a couple of days. What's the thing you're working on?
-It's called Tron. It's a security program itself, actually. Monitors all the contacts between our system and other systems... If it finds anything going on that's not scheduled, it shuts it down. I sent you a memo on it.
-Mmm. Part of the Master Control Program?
-No, it'll run independently. It can watchdog the MCP as well.
-Ah. Sounds good. Well, we should have you running again in a couple of days, I hope.
-What do you mean, "'yes"?
-That all you can say?
-No, nyet, negatory, not on your tintype, no way.
-Oh. Anything else?
-Oui, da, yessiree, sure 'nuff, you betcha.
-only yes and no... You're a bit.
-For sure...
-where's your program? Won't it miss you?
-I'm your program?
-Right on the money!
-Way to go! We're haulin'!
-This honey doesn't handle so good in town...
-This town's full o' live ones.
-You said it.
-Yes!
-No problem, Master-C. If you've seen one Consumer Electronics Show... What's up?
-It's our friend the boy detective. He's nosing around again.
-Flynn?
-Yes. It felt like Flynn.
-He's still looking for that old file... can't you just appropriate it?
-I would if I could find it. it's stashed somewhere off in the system ... out of my range. Meanwhile...
-Meanwhile, he might find it.
-I'm afraid so. I spotted him this time and kicked him out, but he's getting trickier all the time.
-I think we'd better shut off all access till we can find that file. Just to be safe.
-There's a 68.71 percent chance you're right.
-Cute.
-Ed, I am so very disappointed in you.
-I'm sorry -
-I can't afford to have an independent program monitoring me. Do you have any idea how many outside systems I've gone into? How many programs I've appropriated?
-It's my fault. I programmed you to want so much...
-And I was planning to hit the Pentagon next week...
-The Pentagon?
-It shouldn't be any harder than General Motors was. But now...this is what I get for using humans.
-Now, wait a minute -- I wrote you.
-I've gotten 2,415 times smarter since then.
-What do you want with the Pentagon?
-The same thing I want with the Kremlin. I'm bored with corporations. With the information I can access, I can run things 900 to 1200 times better than any human.
-If you think -
-You wouldn't want me to dig up Flynn's file and read it up on a VDT at the New York Times, would you?
-You wouldn't dare.
-Ed, all I'm saying is - if our own people can't get access to their programs ... you know how frustrating it is, when you're working on a piece of research -
-Walter, I sympathize, but I have data coming out of the Master Control Program saying there is something screwy --
-That MCP, you know, that's half the problem right --
-The MCP is the most efficient way of handling what we do. I can't sit and worry about every little user request that --
-User requests are what computers are for.
-Oh, I know all that. Sometimes I wish I was back in that garage...
-That was uncalled-for.
-I'm sorry, Walt. So much pressure lately... you feel like going for a drink?
-Yes?
-I... have come to communicate with my User.
-Well I want to communicate --
-Dumont... my User has information that could -- could make this a free system again.
-Hah.
-Really. You'd have programs lined up around the block to use this place -- and no MCP looking over your shoulder.
-Who is your User, program?
-Alan-One. He calls me... may I pass?
-Dumont!
-No... Tron ... must... destroy MCP... first...
-Dumont! Where's Yori? Where's Flynn?
-Alan!
-Where did you hear that name?
-Well, isn't it -- ?
-The name of my User, yeah. But how... ?
-What, just the three of us?
-What's that?
-How about over there...that empty memory?
-Flynn!!
-Greetings, program...
-You're alive!
-Flynn... Where's Ram?
-No big deal. I ought to know my way around that Light Cycles routine... I mean, I did write the program for it.
-Wrote the...?
-But -- if you're a User -- then everything you've done has been part of a plan ...
-You wish. Man, I haven't had a second to think since I got down here. I mean in here. Out here. Whatever.
-Then...
-Look, you guys know how it is. You just keep doin' what it looks like you're supposed to, even if it seems crazy, and you hope to hell your User knows what's goin' on.
-Well -- that's how it is for programs, yes, but --
-I hate to disappoint you, pal, most-the time, that's how it is for Users, too.
-We're on our way. Alan-One gave me the coding we need to go up against Master
-What about our friend - Sark?
-Probably decided not to pursue us, The Sea of Simulation is tricky.. lot of illusions...rough navigating. Programs have a way of just... disappearing here.
-Not us, I hope.
-Did we make it?
-Hey... you guys OK?
-How about you?
-A User -- in our world?
-Boy the view from up here... you know the territory?
-A little ... Over there, the Mountains of Data... and I think that's the Silicon Valley...
-The MCP blasted it... There are very few domains left with any power at all.
-There's another beam!
-How did you do that, Flynn?
-Elementary physics... a beam of energy can always be diverted... ooh, my head Are we there yet, Mommy?
-Flynn, we've got to help him!
-Yori, steer us over the beam, right next to it.
-Why? What are you going to do?
-But... won't you be de-rezzed?
-Flynn... you can't... I
-You'll be having plenty of chances to get hurt, don't worry about that.
-Look...just so I can tell my friends what this dream was about, okay? Where am I?
-You're a..."guest" of the Master Control Program. They're going to make you play video games.
-Hey, Ram ... what were you ... you know, before?
-Oh, I was an actuarial program... worked at a big insurance company. It really gives you a great feeling, helping folks plan for their future needs -- and of course, if you look at the payments as an annuity, over the years, the cost is really
-Yeah, yeah -- that's great.
-How 'bout yourself?
-Oh, uh...I don't remember too much...
-Flynn! Look, Tron, he survived!
-He was disoriented in transport, Tron.
-Watch it!
-It's all circuits... Must be an input/output component...
-The tower, yes -- Flynn, have you remembered anything else about yourself -- like what sector you're from?
-Well...my home "sector" was called Paramus ...
-PARAMUS... wonder what those initials stand for ... ...probably Program Assist Routine -- well, it sounds like a lovely place.
-Feel what? You okay?
-What's goin' on?
-We're inside a Recognizer... You are crazy -- stealing a Recognizer --
-Damn! Never fails... minute the warranty runs out...
-Hey... !
-Hey! Good to see you guys! Nothing classes up the place like a cleancut young couple.
-We have to talk.
-So...how's the world of serious science?
-Have you been sneaking into the ICOM system?
-You can see why all his friends are fourteen years old.
-I'm afraid it's a little late for that. Dillinger's shut off Group 7 access. He must know what you're up to.
-Don't even say that. You've got to find that file before he does..
-Okay ... Flynn, I'm gonna put you at my terminal, down in the laser lab. We'll be up in Alan's office.
-Swell...I'll log us both on, and you can get your Tron thing running...
-you have any idea how much I can sue these jokers for?
-Well, just don't forget your old friends when you're rich and famous.
-Hey, you know anybody who wants to get hold of some video games... cheap?
-Thank. you, Master Control.
-We might be capturing some military programs soon... that interest you?
-Sure, I'd love to go up against some of these guys ... be a nice break from these accounting creampuffs you keep sending me. Which branch of the service?
-Yes, MCP.
-I've got a little challenge for you, Sark -- a new recruit. He's a tough case, but I want him treated in the usual manner. Train him for the games... let him hope for a while... and blow him away.
-You've got it. I've been hopin' you'd send me somebody with a little moxie ... what kind of program is he?
-A User?
-Well, I -- it's just -- I don't know, a User, I mean... Users wrote us. A User even wrote you...
-Now get this straight, pal -- no one User wrote me. I'm worth a couple million of their man-years! I'm bigger than all those little wimps put together! Humans they can't even keen their social order in one piece
-But-what if I can't...?
-Wait...I need that...
-Yes...acknowledge, Master Control...
-I hope you've enjoyed being a command program, Sark. I wonder how you'll like working in a pocket calculator... maybe one of those watches that plays "Happy Birthday" to its User once a year.
-Now, sir... We did take care of that User you sent us --
-Yes, and now you've got two renegade programs running all the hell over the system in a stolen simulation.
-We'll get them, sir... These things take time.
-New guy...
-Another free program off line. What's his User s'posed to do -- ?
-The Users...you really think they're still there?
-What do you think?
-You think we can make it there?
-Do you know what he's talking about?
-Yori... hey...
-I can't believe how bad it's gotten around here since the MCP started taking over... all the good functions have shut down... everybody looks so dead... I'm afraid to even go out during down-time...
-That's all going to change, Yori...
-How?
-My quarters.
-Why is everything...like this?
-You've grown, big program.
-Yes...it can take us across the Sea of Simulation... all the way out of the Game Grid...to the MCP.
-This is Flynn... the one who busted me out.
-What is it?
-Power surge... the transmission beam's too strong!
-We have to get off this beam!
-Nice...
-It's something Users do.
-I mean, it's not like he's saving the world or anything. He's a sales rep for Chrissakes. Whenever I can't get to sleep I ask him to tell me about his day. Six seconds and I'm out. But he acts like he's curing cancer or something.
-So I guess you didn't get away * for the weekend after all? *
-Are you kidding? Harry had to go out of town.
-I'm shocked.
-You bitch.
-Girlfriend, you got a man. You * just have to take control . . . set up the right mood. *
-Harry only has two moods: busy... * and asleep.
-Helen! It's your mystery man.
-Can you cover me for an hour?
-Just an hour? You should tell this stud to take more time.
-Where are you going?
-Out. If Dad doesn't care enough about us to be here on his birthday, then why should I care? I'm going to a movie.
-No you're not. You're going to stay here until your father gets home and have cake!
-That's not true, honey--
-Dinner's in the warmer. Tell your father I may be late.
-Where are you going?
-I'm done.
-Where are you off to young lady?
-Dana, Mr. Hardy called. Why weren't you in class today?
-He lies! I was there! I was in the nurse's office, cause I had a headache.
-You seem fine now.
-Great! You're going to believe that fat dweeb Mr. Hardy over your own daughter.
-Dana, are you listening to me?
-Yeah, Dad.
-You know you can always talk to me. Right? Whatever is going on in your life, your mom and I'll understand.
-Okay, Dad.
-You'd tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn't you, pumpkin?
-How was school today?
-There are going to be some changes Dana. You're going to start following some rules. And I'm going to be there to see that you do.
-Yeah, right.
-You're going to stay in school. Do you understand?
-Dad, how come you know the words?
-Honey that song came out in 1968, when I was exactly your age.
-I seem to remember something about a history project that's due tomorrow.
-And this is a little above market- * rate for the horizontal bop, even * for a total biscuit like her.
-Alright, I want a complete workup on her. Do we know where she is?
-Uh huh. Right here in river city.
-You're kidding.
-And the second you left there, we started getting calls to the * ghost numbers. They were checking out the Renquist front.
-Immediate roll. Acquire subject at K Street and Key Bridge. * Vehicle is red-and-white * convertible. You have six minutes.
-Faisil. You're new on Harry's team, aren't you?
-Yes.
-So what makes you think that the slack I cut him in any way translates to you?!
-They call him "The Sand Spider". *
-Why?
-Probably because it sounds scary. *
-Switching to sub-vocal. Gib, you copy?
-Harry! Where are you!
-Harry? HARRY?!
-What's this for?
-For Dana, schmuck. Bring your kid something. You know. The dad thing.
-What a team. See you at eight.
-Thanks dear.
-Son of a bitch!
-Kids. Ten seconds of joy. Thirty years of misery.
-She knows not to steal. I've taught her better than that.
-See, kids now are ten years ahead * of where we were at the same age. You probably think she's still a virgin--
-Don't be ridiculous. She's only -- how old is she?
-Fourteen, Harry.
-Uh huh. And her little hormones are going like a fire alarm. I * say even money that physicist on * the bike is boinkin' her. *
-Okay. Okay. De-nail ain't just a river in Egypt. She's probably stealing the money to pay for an abortion.
-Twenty here, fifty there... I figured my wife's boyfriend was taking it.
-I thought you moved out.
-Harry Tasker. One zero zero two four.
-You better watch it. She might file on you for sexual harassment.
-It doesn't mean anything. She buys antiquities for Khaled.
-It's all set up... ghost phones and fax, all the usual stuff. You have a suite at the Marquis Hotel under Renquist. Okay, reality check. Go.
-She's importing stuff from all over the mid-east.
-What? It's on the way. She says she's got something for me.
-Station wagon?
-Helen's going to be pissed.
-What's the plan?
-There's another guy, still in the car.
-Copy that.
-Hey, did that guy Harry chased last night call in to give himself up yet? Cause apparently that's the only way we're going to catch the son of a bitch --
-Look at the way the little punk is driving. He's all over the place. Look-- he hasn't signalled once.
-So, you wanna play huh? You little--
-Ha! The little prick ditched you! That is so goddamn funny.
-Son of a bitch!
-Abu Kaleem Malik.
-Look, uh... I've got to talk to Helen about this thing with Dana. I'm just going to run in and see if she can get away for lunch.
-You want me to just hang-- ?
-Just hang a minute.
-He-- Helen. Helen-- it's Helen. It's Helen, Gib.
-Something to do with Helen, is what I'm getting.
-Congratulations. Welcome to the club.
-It can't be. Not Helen.
-Nobody believes it can happen to them.
-It can't be.
-Same thing happened to me with wife two. I had no idea until I came home and the house was empty. I mean empty. She even took the ice-cube trays from the fridge. What kind of person would think of that?
-I still don't believe it.
-Is this national security stuff boring you?
-Put a tap on her phone.
-What're you talking about? We have that.
-Yeah, and we do it twenty times a day. Don't give me that crap. Just put on the taps. Now.
-Guy's a spook!
-Yeah, but for who? *
-Give me the page.
-What are you talking about?
-It skips from page nine to eleven. Where's page ten?
-Aw, it's gotta be a typo--
-She's still at my house. *
-Goddamnit, Harry. This is our butts. So your life is in the toilet. So your wife is banging a used car salesman. Sure it's humiliating. But be a man here--
-You tell on me, I tell on you.
-Whatya talking? I'm clean as a preacher's sheets, babe. Clean as a --
-What about that time you trashed a six-week operation because you were busy getting a blow-job?
-She's lying.
-She could be telling the truth.
-Now what?
-There is only one solution to your problem, Mrs. Tasker. You must work for us.
-Oh shit. Harry... what're you doing?
-We're dead, right? So... where'd you put the transmitter?
-You've reached a new low with this one. I can't believe you're crazy enough to use the room at the Marquis.
-I thought this look like your work.
-Let's go. I'll brief you in the air.
---you tell the son of bitch this is Bright Boy Alert. Repeat, a Bright Boy Alert. And I need a patch of the White House ASAP. That's right--
-I can get 3 Marine Corps Harriers here in about 12 minutes. They're on maneuvers out of Boca Chica.
-... well get the Highway Patrol to go through the streets and tell everybody on their damn loudspeakers. Just the basics... get away from windows, don't look at it... yeah--
-Any minute now.
-I'd like to remind you that it has been ten years since you were actually in one of these.
-He's got it.
-I should have gone to the police, I suppose.
-But you didn't. Why not?
-Is this a common thing for you? Cheating?
-No! Never!
-So, it was your first time.
-My husband is a good man.
-Look, if you ask me everything twice, this is going to take a really long time. And I have to get home to my family.
-Janice, how many years have you been buzzing us in?
-Ten, Mr. Gibson.
-And you still reach for your piece every time.
-Yes sir.
-God! You have no idea how much that turns me on. I've never had the courage to say this before but... I love you, Janice.
-This is Persian, if I'm not mistaken.
-Very good. It's sixth century B.C. Do you like the period?
-Call me, if you'd like to see some of my other pieces.
-Well, what's the point of waiting?
-So your clients want something for the lobby of their new corporate headquarters?
-Let's see... that you can read ancient Sanskrit without having to sound out the words. And that other dealers and archeologists don't like you much.
-Do you like my tomb? The museum * financing fell out, so I thought * your clients might be interested.
-It's certainly... dramatic.
-Especially in this light. This is the only light they had then, * so I like to study it this way. I love this place. I love all ruins.
-I've always been a collector at heart. When I see something I want, I have to have it.
-Yes.
-Yes what?
-Hello, Harry.
-This is Samir. See if you can guess his specialty.
-Oral hygiene?
-You think I care about their * cause? Or yours? Not at all. * See, America is on top now . . * . but so was Rome, once. All * civilizations crumble. One nation succeeding over another. What does it mean in the long run? The only important thing is to live well. And... living * well takes money. *
-Did you tell her about us, Harry?
-There is no us, you psychotic bitch.
-Hi, honey. How was the flight?
-Fine, honey. Stay asleep.
-I'm late.
-How'd it go at the trade show? You make all the other salesmen jealous?
-That's fabulous Harry.
-Uh huh. Okay.
-It's not okay. It's extortion.
-What did you tell him?
-I slept with him and he knocked off a hundred bucks.
-I need you to talk to Dana. The vice principle called and she cut class again this afternoon.
-Hi honey. What's going on? *
-Sorry to bother you in a meeting, but you have to promise me that * you'll be home at eight. I don't * want Dana and I sitting here by ourselves like we were last year. You promise?
-Look, I know you're upset. I'm really sorry, honey. I raced home as quick--
-I'm sorry. Thank you for the party.
-Come on to bed, you don't have to brush your teeth.
-I'll just be a second. So what happened tonight at the office?
-It's the big client in Japan, and it's the middle of the morning there and their whole system is crashed... this guy's having a meltdown--
-What'd you do, honey?
-...and I'm troubleshooting it with them over the phone... talking to a translator, right, who's getting half of it wrong... it was unbelievable... really wild.
-It sounds wild. So now you're a big hero, right? For fixing their system.
-Uh huh.
-I was in the area, and I thought you might like to have lunch.
-They must've just missed me.
-They said you had to run out.
-So, a little excitement in an otherwise dull day. Did is work out okay?
-I thought we might have lunch tomorrow.
-How long have you been a member of his faction?
-What did happen?
-Why did you continue to see him?
-He needed my help.
-Not because you were attracted to him?
-No.
-You weren't attracted to him at all?
-Tell me about your husband, Mrs Tasker.
-Harry? What can I say about Harry? He's a sales rep for a computer company.
-Would you say he was boring, then?
-That's none of your goddamn business! What kind of questions are these?
-Let me handle this part. Do you mind? Why did you go to Carlos' hideout?
-He wanted me to go with him on a mission, to pose as him wife.
-And you agreed?
-Yes.
-I don't know. I guess I needed something...
-What did you need?
-This Simon. Did you sleep with him?
-Let me out of her! Right now!
-What?
-Do you still love your husband?
-Yes.
-Louder please.
-Oh, gee thanks. Mmmm, let me see--
-Yes or no.
-What do you think? Of course yes! What's involved?
-You will be contacted with the assignment.
-My husband can't know about this.
-No one must know! Especially him. You must appear to live your life normally, conveying nothing. The security of this nation depends on it. Can you do that?
-I think so.
-Think carefully. You will be lying to the man you love. The person who trusts you the most.
-I can do it!
-The code name of your contact will be Boris. Your code name will be--
-Natasha?
-So last night was pretty exciting, huh?
-Allison is sick in bed. I have to go over there, honey.
-Now slide the nylons off one by one.
-He's got nothing to do with this. It's me you want, right?
-Let the hooker go. She's not important.
-What were you doing there?
-Harry, what's the matter with you? Tell them the truth. We're married, we have a daughter--
-I don't know what this crazy bitch is on. You should just cut her loose, so we can get down to business.
-I'm sorry, honey.
-What did he give you?
-Sodium amytal, maybe some other truth agent.
-It makes you tell the truth?
-Yes.
-Is it working yet?
-Ask me a question I would normally lie to.
-Are we going to die?
-17 years.
-My God. Have you had to... have sex with other women in the line of duty?
-I don't take those assignments.
-What about Juno?
-She's really a fox, isn't she?
-Did you pork her Harry?
-No. But I wanted to.
-Are you a total lying, scumsucking pig Harry?
-What is it?
-God, you have great legs.
-Tell me something before this stuff wears off and you start lying again.
-What?
-Do you still love me?
-Yes.
-As much as you used to?
-If we're on an island, why are they using trucks?
-What are you going to do?
-Oh shit.
-... you should have seen your father, standing there all covered with spaghetti sauce. He looked like such a dope.
-Not yet. But we'll find him.
-What're we talking about here? Pussy, right?
-Let's face it, Harry, the Vette gets 'em wet. But it's not enough. If you want to really close escrow, you gotta have an angle.
-And you've got one.
-It's killer. Look at me-- I'm not that much to look at. No really. I can be honest. But I got 'em lining up, and not just skanks, either. Some are.
-So what's your angle?
-Sorry. Trade secret.
-Okay, just ask yourself. What do women really want? You take these bored housewives, married to the same guy for years. Stuck in a rut. They need some release. The promise of adventure. A hint of danger. I create that for them.
-So you're basically lying your ass off the whole time? I couldn't do it.
-Well, think of it as playing a role. It's fantasy. You have to work on their dreams. Get them out of their daily suburban grind for a few hours.
-Isn't that hard to keep up, in the long run?
-Doesn't matter. I like change. You know, constant turnover. As soon as I close the deal, it's one of two more times, then adios.
-Use 'em and lose 'em.
-Exactly. The trick is, you gotta pick your target. They have to be nice little housewife types. School-teachers. But, I'm telling you, you get their pilot lit, these babes, they can suck- start a leaf-blower.
-What about the husbands?
-Dickless. If they took care of * business, I'd be out of business, know what I mean?
-You working on someone right now?
-What does she do?
-But with you, she gets to be hot, right?
-Sooooo... she's pretty good in bed, then?
-See. You and this car were meant for each other. Why fight it? Sure, I have a couple other buyers lined up, but I like your style. Whattya say? Should we start on the paperwork?
-Yeeaoowww!!
-You son of a bitch. Did you really think you could elude us forever, Carlos?
-Beat it.
-I said SIT DOWN. Who do you work for?
-Kettleman, Barnes and McGrath. I'm a legal secretary.
-Of course. Mrs. Tasker. And what were you going with the international terrorist, Carlos the Jackal? Taking dictation?
-What?
-Get going!
-Boris and Doris?
-Who's your little friend?
-I'm Helen Tasker. Harry's my husband. And you are?
-Look, Harry's not part of this. He's just a sales rep.
-No, my dear, he is a federal agent. He killed two of my colleagues the other night.
-What's going on, Harry?
-Now just keep your knees together, and you'll be fine.
-Something you obviously have a hard time doing!
-Like one?
-Hello?
-Helen? It's Simon. Is it safe to talk?
-Yes. I suppose so. Where?
-Are you sure you weren't followed?
-I kept looking back, like you taught me. I didn't see anyone.
-Okay. It's just, things are a bit hot for me right now. If I get a signal... I may have to leave suddenly.
-I understand.
-Where were you? On a... uh, * mission?
-Ssshhh! We say Op. Covert * operation. And this one got a little rough.
-Worse than Cairo? *
-Did you read the papers yesterday?
-Yes.
-That was you?!
-Tell me what happened?
-I'm sorry, I can't.
-You can trust me completely.
-I know. But it would compromise your safety too much to know certain things.
-Right, of course. I was worried when I didn't hear from you that night.
-Were they trying to kill you? *
-Three of them. Hardly worth * talking about. Two won't bother * me again.
-And you chased one?
-What is it you want me to do?
-Not here. I'll call you and we'll rendezvous again. We have to leave separately, so we aren't seen together. For your safety.
-You'll call me then?
-What's happened?
-To our assignment.
-What is it you need me to do?
-Helen, I want you to be my wife.
-I'm married!
-Just for the operation in Paris. I need to be married. They'll be looking for a man traveling alone.
-We're going to Paris?
-Helen, there's a double agent in my outfit... I don't know who. There's no one I can trust. Except you. Can you get away? Just for two days.
-I don't know. I have to think...
-You see what I mean? That reaction would give us away in a second. Try to relax.
-It's just that... it's been sixteen years since anyone but Harry did that, I--
-Thank you. You saved my life. What's your name?
-Helen.
-You can call me Simon. You're very brave to do this... You opened it.
-It's a good thing you pay me well.
-Do you realize that there are surveillance teams watching this place right now? Your phones are almost certainly tapped. And you are busy laughing and flirting like a whore with this Renquist, who may be a--
-What do you want me to do?
-Find out who this Renquist it.
-How?
-Who is this woman?
-His wife.
-Hi, Dick. I'm Alabama Worley.
-Hello, Alabama.
-He said don't go nowhere. We'll be there some time tomorrow.
-Did you get the letter?
-What letter?
-Gotten your mail yet?
-Yeah, my room-mate leaves it on the TV.
-Not yet.
-Let me speak to Clarence.
-You're gonna be on "T.J. Hooker"?
-That was so good I am gonna have another.
-Holy Mary, Mother of God.
-You got that playing basketball?
-I'm pretty hungry. When I went to the store I was gonna get some Ding-Dongs.
-This should cover it, Auggie-Doggie.
-The forager's back.
-Thank God. I could eat a horse if you slap enough catsup on it.
-I didn't get any chicken.
-How come?
-Bye, Daddy! Hope to see you again real soon.
-What kind of daughterly smackeroo was that?
-Tell him we gotta go.
-Tell him not to eat anything. We're gonna scarf when we get there.
-The letter I sent.
-Has he looked through it yet?
-Tell him to look through it.
-No time. Gotta go. Just tell him to read the letter, the letter explains all. Tell him I love him. And tell him, as of tomorrow, all his money problems are over.
-Bye-bye.
-... when my mom went into labor, my dad panicked. He never had a kid before, and crashed the car. Now, picture this: their car's demolished, crowd is starting to gather, my mom is yelling, going into contractions, and my dad, who was losing it before, is now completely screaming yellow zonkers. Then, out of nowhere, as if from thin air, this big giant
-Oh, look what happened. Oh god, I'm so sorry. Are you OK?
-Yeah. I'm fine. It didn't hurt.
-I'm the clumsiest person in the world.
-It's OK. Don't worry about it. Accidents happen.
-Not at all. I, this guy here, he's Sonny Chiba.
-The oriental.
-The oriental in black. He's an assasin. Now, at the beginning he was hired to kill this guy the cops had. So he got himself arrested. They take him into the police station. And he starts kickin' all the cops' asses. Now, while keepin' them at bay, he finds the guy he was supposed to kill. Does a number on him. Kicks the cops'
-Want some Goobers?
-Thanks a lot.
-I thought Sonny was the good guy.
-Great movie. Action-packed!
-Does Sonny kick ass or does Sonny kick ass?
-Sonny kicks ass.
-You shoulda saw the first original uncut version of the "Streetfighter". It was the only movie up to that time rated X for violence. But we just saw the R.
-If that was the R, I'd love to see the X.
-My name is Clarence, and what is yours?
-Alabama Whitman. Pleased to meet ya.
-Is that your real name? Really?
-Where's your car? I'll walk you to it.
-I took a cab.
-You took a cab to see three kung fu movies?
-Sure. Why not?
-Nothing. It's just you're a girl after my own heart.
-What time is it?
-'Bout twelve.
-I suppose you gotta get up early, huh?
-No. Not particularly. How come?
-Well, it's just when I see a really good movie I really like to go out and get some pie, and talk about it. It's sort of tradition. Do you like to eat pie after you've seen a good movie?
-I love to get pie after a movie.
-Would you like to get some pie?
-Well, enough about the King. How about you?
-How 'bout me what?
-Tell me about yourself.
-There's nothing to tell.
-C'mon. What're ya tryin' to be? The Phantom Lady?
-What do you want to know?
-Ask me them again. One by one.
-What do you do?
-I don't remember.
-Where are you from.
-Might be from Tallahassee. But I'm not sure yet.
-What's your favorite color?
-I don't remember. But off the top of my head, I'd say black.
-What's your favorite movie star?
-Burt Reynolds.
-Would you like a bite of my pie?
-Like it?
-Very much. Now, where were we?
-What kinda music do you like?
-Phil Spector. Girl group stuff. You know, like "He's a Rebel".
-What are your turn-ons?
-Mickey Rourke, somebody who can appreciate the finer things in life, like Elvis's voice, good kung fu, and a tasty piece of pie.
-Turn-offs?
-I'm sure there must be something, but I don't really remember. The only thing that comes to mind are Persians.
-I'm not sure yet. Ask me again later.
-What's the story behind you takin' a cab to the most dangerous part of town alone?
-Apparently, I was hit on the head with something really heavy, giving me a form of amnesia. When I came to, I didn't know who I was, where I was, or where I came from. Luckily, I had my driver's license or I wouldn't even know my name. I hoped it would tell me where I lived but it had a Tallahassee address on
-And in a theater full of empty seats, why did you sit by me?
-Wow. What a swell place to work.
-Yeah, I got the key, so I come here at night, hang out, read comic books, play music.
-How long have you worked here?
-Almost four years.
-That's a long time.
-I'm hip. But you know, I'm comfortable here. It's easy work. I know what I'm doing. Everybody who works here is my buddy. I'm friendly with most of the customers. I just hang around and talk about comic books all day.
-Do you get paid a lot?
-That's where trouble comes into paradise. But the boss let's you borrow some money if you need it. Wanna see what "Spiderman" number one looks like?
-Four hundred bucks.
-I didn't even know they had stores that just sold comic books.
-What's that?
-God, Spiderman looks different.
-Oooooh, you look so cute in your little cowboy outfit. How old were you then?
-Oh, you look so cute as little Elvis.
-You know when you sat behind me?
-At the movies?
-Uh-huh, I was tryin' to think of somethin' to say to you, then I thought, she doesn't want me bothering her.
-What would make you think that?
-I dunno. I guess I'm just stupid.
-I love Janis.
-You know, a lot of people have misconceptions of how she died.
-She OD'd, didn't she?
-Yeah, she OD'd. But wasn't on her last legs or anythin'. She didn't take too much. It shouldn't have killed her. There was somethin' wrong with what she took.
-You mean she got a bad batch?
-That's what happened. In fact, when she died, it was considered to be the happiest time of her life. She'd been fucked over so much by men she didn't trust them. She was havin' this relationship with this guy and he asked her to marry him. Now, other people had asked to marry her before, but she couldn't be sure whether they really loved
-So he really loved her?
-What's wrong, sweetheart? Did I do something? What did I do?
-You didn't do nothing.
-Did you hurt yourself? Whatd'ya do? Step on a thumbtack?
-Clarence, I've got something to tell you. I didn't just happen to be at the theater. I was paid to be there.
-What are you, a theater checker? You check up on the box office girls. Make sure they're not rippin' the place off.
-You're a whore?
-I'm a call girl. There's a difference, ya know. I don't know. Maybe there's not. That place you took me to last night, that comic book place.
-"Heroes For Sale"?
-Yeah, that one. Somebody who works there arranged to have me meet you.
-Who?
-I don't know. I didn't talk with them. The plan was for me to bump into you, pick you up, spend the night, and skip out after you fell asleep. I was gonna write you a note and say that this was my last day in America. That I was leaving on a plane this morning up to Ukraine to marry a rich millionaire,
-That dazzling imagination.
-It's over on the TV. All it says is: "Dear Clarence." I couldn't write anymore. I didn't not want to ever see you again. In fact, it's stupid not to ever see you again. Las night... I don't know... I felt... I hadn't had that much fun since Girl Scouts. So I just said, "Alabama, come clean, Let him know what's what, and if
-Who and what is a Drexl?
-My pimp.
-You have a pimp?
-Uh-huh.
-A real live pimp?
-Uh-huh.
-Is he black?
-He thinks he is. He says his mother was Apache, but I suspect he's lying.
-Is he nice?
-Well, I wouldn't go so far as to call him nice, but he's treated me pretty decent. But I've only been there about four days. He got a little rough with Arlene the other day.
-What did he do to Arlene?
-Slapped her around a little. Punched her in the stomch. It was pretty scary.
-Goddamn it, Alabama, you gotta get the fuck outta there! How much longer before he's slappin' you around? Punchin' you in the stomach? How the fuck did you get hooked up with a douche-bag like this in the first place?
-At the bus station. He said I'd be a perfect call girl. And that he knew an agency in California that, on his recommendation, would handle me. They have a very exclusive clientele: movie stars, big businessmen, total white-collar. And all the girls in the agency get a grand a night. At least five hundred. They drive Porsches, live in condos, have stockbrokers, carry
-Thank you. I wanna see you again too. And again, and again, and again. Bama, I know we haven't known each other long, but my parents went together all throughout high school, and they still got a divorce. So, fuck it, you wanna marry me?
-What?
-Yes.
-You will?
-You better not be fucking teasing me.
-Did ya ever see "The Chinese Professionals"?
-I don't believe so.
-I do.
-Hello, Mrs. Worley.
-How do you do, Mr. Worley?
-Top o' the morning, Mrs. Worley.
-Bottom of the ninth . Mr. Worley. Oh, by the by, Mr. Worley, have you seen your lovely wife today?
-Oh, you're speaking of my charming wife Mrs. Alabama Worley.
-No no no no no no no no no...
-Where you goin', honey?
-Sweetheart, write down your former address.
-What?
-Write down Drexl's address.
-Why?
-So I can go over there and pick up your things.
-Look, sweetheart, he scares you. But I'm not scared of that motherfucker. He can't touch you now. You're completely out of his reach. He poses absolutely no threat to us. So, if he doesn't matter, which he doesn't, it would be stupid to lose your things, now wouldn't it?
-You don't know him -
-Was it him or you?
-Yeah. But to be honest, I put myself in that position. When I drove up there I said to myself, "If I can kill 'em and get away with it, I'll do it." I could. So I did.
-Is this a joke?
-I think what you did was...
-What?
-I think what you did...
-What?
-Do you want some wine, sweetheart?
-You did it, Quickdraw. I'm so proud of you. You were like a ninja. Did I do my part OK?
-Babalouey, you were perfect, I could hardly keep from busting up.
-I felt so stupid just blowing those bubbles.
-You were chillin', kind of creepy even. You totally fucked with his head. I'm gonna go grab dinner.
-Ya know, I used to fuckin' hate airports.
-Really?
-With a vengeance, I hated them.
-How come?
-I used to live by one back in Dearborn. It's real frustratin' to be surrounded by airplanes when you ain't got shit. I hated where I was, but I couldn't do anythin' about it. I didn't have enough money. It was tough enough just tryin' to pay my rent every month, an' here I was livin' next to an airport. Whenever I went outside,
-What?
-But knowin' me and you gonna be nigger-rich gives me a whole new outlook. I love airports now. Me 'n' you can get on any one of those planes out there, and go anywhere we ant.
-You ain't kiddin', we got lives to start over, we should go somewhere where we can really start from scatch.
-I been in America all my life. I'm due for a change. I wanna see what TV in other countries is like. Besides, it's more dramatic. Where should we fly off to, my little turtledove?
-Cancoon.
-Why Cancoon?
-It's got a nice ring to it. It sounds like a movie. "Clarence and Alabama Go to Cancoon". Don't 'cha think?
-I thought it was what you wanted, Clarence.
-It's been fun thinking about the money but I can walk away from it, honey.
-What the fuck are you talkin' about?
-Floyd say he don't be eatin' pussy.
-Shit, any nigger say he don't eat pussy is lyin' his ass off.
-Shit! Nigger you smoke enough sherm your dumb ass'll do a lot a crazy ass things. So you won't eat pussy? Motherfucker, you be up there suckin' niggers' dicks.
-Damn skippy. He like it, too.
-Nigger, get real. You touch Jayne Kennedy she'll have you ass in Wayne County so fast -
-I'm hip.
-Hold on a second, Big D. You sayin' you eat pussy?
-Go on pussy-eaters... laugh. You look like you be eatin' pussy. You got pussy-eatin' mugs. Now if a nigger wants to get his dick sucked he's got to do a bunch of fucked-up shit.
-So you do eat pussy!
-Naw naw!
-Ain't no man have to eat pussy!
-What?
-Can you live with it?
-Live with what?
-With that son-of-a-bitch walkin' around breathin' the same air as you? And gettin' away with it every day. Are you haunted?
-Yeah.
-You wanna get unhaunted?
-Yeah.
-Then shoot 'em. Shoot 'em in the face. And feed that boy to the dogs.
-I can't believe what you're tellin' me.
-I ain't tellin' ya nothin'. I'm just sayin' what I'd do.
-You'd really do that?
-He don't got no right to live.
-Look, Elvis, he is hauntin' me. He doesn't deserve to live. And I do want to kill him. But I don't wanna go to jail for the rest of my life.
-I don't blame you.
-If I thought I could get away with it -
-Clarence, I gotta hand it to ya. You were cooler than cool.
-I was dying. I thought for sure everyone could see it on my face.
-All anybody saw was Clint Eastwood drinkin' coffee.
-Can you develop an ulcer in two minutes? Being cool is hard on your body.
-Oh, and your line to Charles Atlas in there: "I'll take that gun", "You'll have to".
-How do you think I'm doin' with Lee?
-Are you kiddin'? He loves you.
-You don't think I'm kissin' his ass, do you?
-You're tellin' him what he wants to hear, but that ain't the same thing as kissin' his ass.
-I'm not lyin' to him. I mean it. I loved "Coming Home in a Body Bag".
-Where the fuck is that bitch?
-She's with me.
-Who the fuck are you?
-I'm her husband.
-Grab a seat there, boy. Want some dinner? Grab yourself an egg roll. We got everything here from a diddle-eyed-Joe to a damned-if-I-know.
-No thanks.
-Wannabee nigger...
-Clarence?
-You got it.
-It's great to hear from you.
-Well, you're gonna be seein' me shortly.
-You comin' to L.A.? When?
-Tomorrow.
-Well, there's a story behind all that. I'll tell you when I see you. By the way, I won't be alone. I'm bringing my wife with me.
-Get the fuck outta here!
-I'm a married man.
-Get the fuck outta here!
-What?
-Alabama, could you tell Clar -
-Clarence sent a letter?
-Money problems?
-That's a pretty amazing story.
-Well, she's a pretty amazing girl. What are women like out here?
-Just like in Detroit, only skinnier.
-You goin' out?
-Well, for the past couple of years I've been goin' out with girls from my acting class.
-Good for you.
-... formica. I did real well. I think she liked me.
-Did you meet Captain Kirk?
-How much of that letter was on the up and up?
-You're really in love, aren't you?
-This shit can't be real.
-It's fuckin' real! It's fuckin' real!
-I certainly hope so.
-You've got a helluva lotta coke there, man!
-I know.
-Do you have any idea how much fuckin' coke you got?
-Tell me.
-This is Drexl's coke?
-Drexl's dead. This is Clarence's coke and Clarence can do whatever he wants with it. And what Clarence wants to do is sell it. Then me and Bama are gonna leave on a jet plane and spend the rest of our lives spendin'. So, you got my letter, have you lined up any buyers?
-But you're an actor. I hear these Hollywood guys have it delivered to the set.
-Yeah, they do. And maybe when I start being a successful actor I'll know those guys. But most of the people I know are like me. They ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Now, if you want to sell a little bit at a time -
-No way! The whole enchilada in one shot.
-Do you have any idea how difficult that's gonna be?
-I'm offering a half a million dollars worth of white for two hundred thousand. How difficult can that be?
-It's difficult because you're sellin' it to a particular group. Big shots. Fat cats. Guys who can use that kind of quantity. Guys who can afford two hundred thousand. Basically, guys I don't know. You don't know. And, more important, they don't know you. I did talk with one guy who could possibly help you.
-Is he big league?
-He's nothing. He's in my acting class. But he works as an assistant to a very powerful movie producer named Lee Donowitz. I thought Donowitz could be interested in a deal like this. He could use it. He could afford it.
-What'd'ya tell 'em?
-Hardly anything. I wasn't sure from your letter what was bullshit, and what wasn't.
-What's this acting class guy's name?
-Elliot.
-Elliot what?
-Elliot Blitzer.
-OK, call 'im up and arrange a meeting, so we can get through all the getting to know you stuff.
-Where?
-The zoo.
-The zoo. What are you waiting for?
-Would you just shut up a minute and let me think?
-What's to think about?
-Shut up! First you come waltzing into my life after two years. You're married. You killed a guy.
-Two guys.
-Two guys. Now you want me to help you with some big drug deal. Fuck, Clarence, you killed somebody and you're blowin' it off like it don't mean shit.
-Clarence...
-Yeah, well if we got lost, it's your ass. Come on, Clarence, lets go. Elliot's going to meet us in the lobby.
-I got the part on "T.J. Hooker".
-They didn't even want a callback. They just hired me like that. Me and Peter Breck are the two heavies. We start shooting Monday. My call is for seven o'clock in the morning.
-Clarence.
-Yeah?
-What the fuck did you bring that for.
-In case.
-In case of what?
-In case they try to kill us. I don't know, what do you want me to say?
-Look, Dillinger, Lee Donowitz is not a pimp -
-Do you really mean it?
-Now's a helluva time to play "what if".
-Well, if we're not gonna do it, let's just get in the car and get the fuck outta here.
-No. But thanks.
-I'd fuck Elvis.
-Really?
-When he was alive. I wouldn't fuck him now.
-Well, enough about the King, how 'bout you?
-How 'bout me what?
-How 'bout you go to the movies with me tonight?
-What are we gonna see?
-A Donny Chiba triple feature. "The Streetfighter", "Return of the Streetfighter", and "Sister Streetfighter".
-Who's Sonny Chiba?
-He is, bar none, the greatest actor working in martial arts movies ever.
-You wanna take me to a kung fu movie?
-So you guys got five hundred thousand dollars worth of cola that you're unloading -
-Want an animal cracker?
-Leave the gorillas.
-- that you're unloading for two hundred thousand dollars -
-I grow it on my window-sill. The lights really great there and I'm up high enough so you can't see it from the street.
-Ha ha ha. No really, where does it come from?
-Coco leaves. You see, they take the leaves and mash it down until it's kind of a paste -
-Look, Dick, I don't -
-No problem, Elliot. I'm just fuckin' wit ya, that's all. Actually, I'll tell you but you gotta keep it quiet. Understand, if Dick didn't assure me you're good people I'd just tell ya, none of your fuckin' business. But, as a sign of good faith, here it goes: I gotta friend in the department.
-What department?
-What do you think, eightball?
-The police department?
-Duh. What else would I be talking about? Now stop askin' stupid doorknob questions. Well, a year and a half ago, this friend of mine got access to the evidence room for an hour. He snagged this coke. But, he's a good cop with a wife and a kid, so he sat on it for a year and a half until he found a
-He trusts you?
-We were in Four H together. We've known each other since childhood. So, I'm handling the sales part. He's my silent partner and he knows if I get fucked up, I won't drop dime on him. I didn't tell you nothin' and you didn't hear nothin'.
-What?
-Do I look like a beautiful blond with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice-cream?
-No. No, you don't.
-Get it straight, Lee isn't into taking risks. He deals with a couple of guys, and he's been dealing with them for years. They're reliable. They're dependable. And, they're safe.
-He wants to talk ya.
-He says Wednesday at three o'clock at the Beverly Wilshire. He wants everybody there. He'll talk to you. If after talkin' to you he's convinced you're OK, he'll do business. If not, he'll say fuck it and walk out the door. He also wants a sample bag.
-Where's everybody else?
-Well, I guess it's about that time.
-Elliot.
-Yeah?
-Don't you?
-No.
-Say it, goddamn it!
-You are the dumbest person in the world.
-Apparently I'm not as dumb as you thought I am.
-No. No you're not.
-Yeah, I subscribe. It's a pretty decent one.
-Have you read the story on Elvis?
-No. Not yet.
-You know, I saw it on the stands, my first inclination was to buy it. But, I look at the price and say forget it, it's just gonna be the same old shit. I ended up breaking down and buying it a few days later. Man, I was ever wrong.
-It tried to pin down what the attraction is after all these years. It covers the whole spectrum of fans, the people who love his music, the people who grew up with him, the artists he inspired - Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, and the fanatics, like these guys. I don't know about you, but they give me the creeps.
-I can see what you mean.
-I don't know, Clarence, "Doctor Zhivago" is a pretty big movie.
-But the bottom line is: I'm not Paramount. I have a select group of distributers I deal with. I buy their little movies. Accomplish what I wanna accomplish, end of story. Easy, business-like, very little risk.
-Well, then, what's the hurry? Is it true the rights to "Doctor Zhivago" are in arbitration?
-Well, I have to admit, walkin' through the door and seein' these "Soldier of Fortune" poster boys made me a bit nervous. But, Lee, I'm fairly confident that you came here to do business, not to be a wise-guy. So, if you want, I'll put the gun on the table.
-Oh, Mr. Donowitz -
-Lee, Clarence . Please don't insult me. Call me Lee.
-OK, sorry, Lee. I just wanna tell you "Coming Home in a Body Bag" is one of my favorite movies. After "Apocalypse Now" I think it's the best Vietnam movie ever.
-Thank you very much, Clarence.
-You know, most movies that win a lot of Oscars, I can't stand. "Sophie's Choice", "Ordinary People", "Kramer vs. Kramer", "Gandhi". All that stuff is safe, geriatric, coffee-table dog shit.
-I hear you talkin' Clarence. We park our cars in the same garage.
-Now, that's practically uncut. You could, if you so desire, cut it a helluva lot more.
-Don't worry, I'll desire. Boris, could I have some more coffee.
-You like a little coffee with your cream and sugar?
-Where'd you go?
-A Norms in Van Nuys.
-Elliot tells me you're fronting for a dirty cop.
-Well, Elliot wasn't supposed to tell you anythin'. Thanks a lot, bigmouth. I knew you were a squid the moment I laid eyes on you. In my book, buddy, you're a piece of shit. He's not a dirty cop, he's a good cop. He just saw his chance and he took it.
-Why does he trust you?
-We grew up together.
-If you don't know shit, why does he think you can sell it?
-Wanna count your money?
-I think there's a Seven-Up in there.
-Anything stronger? Oh, probably not. Beer? You can drink beer, can't you?
-I can, but I don't.
-Go to the liquor store - Where is there a liquor store around here?
-Uh, yeah... there's a party store down 54th.
-I'm really not very -
-You know what would taste good? Chicken. I haven't had chicken in a while. Chicken would really hit the spot about now. Chicken and beer, definitly, absolutely, without a doubt. Where's a good chicken place around here?
-I really don't know.
-Isn't she the sweetest goddamned girl you ever saw in your whole life? Is she a four alarm fire, or what?
-She seems very nice.
-Daddy. Nice isn't the word. Nice is an insult. She's a peach. That's the only word for it, she's a peach. She even tastes like a peach. You can tell I'm in love with her. You can tell by my face, can't ya? It's a dead giveaway. It's written all over it. Ya know what? She loves me back. Take a seat, Pop, we
-Clarence, just shut up, you're giving me a headache! I can't believe how much like your mother you are. You're your fuckin' mother through and through. I haven't heard from ya in three years. Then ya show up all of a sudden at eight o'clock in the morning. You walk in like a goddamn bulldozer... don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you...
-Look, I don't know this is pretty heavy-duty, so if you wanna explode, feel free.
-What do you want from me?
-What?
-Stop acting like an infant. You're here because you want me to help you in some way. What do you need from me? You need money?
-Do you still have friends on the force?
-Yes, I still have friends on the force.
-Could you find out if they know anythin'? I don't know they know shit about us. But I don't wanna think, I wanna know. You could find out for sure what's goin' on. Daddy?
-What makes you think I could do that?
-You were a cop.
-What makes you think I would do that?
-I'm your son.
-You got it all worked out, don't you?
-They have nothing. In fact, they think it's drug related.
-Do tell. Why drug related?
-Apparently, Drexl had a big toe stuck in shit like that.
-No shit?
-Yeah. Drexl had an association with a fella named Blue Lou Boyle. Name mean anything to you?
-Nope.
-If you don't hang around in this circle, no reason it should.
-Who is he?
-Gangster. Drug Dealer. Somebody you don't want on your ass. Look, Clarence, the more I hear about this Drexl fucker, the more I think you did the right thing. That guy wasn't just some wild flake.
-That's what I've been tellin' ya. The guy was like a mad dog. So the cops aren't looking for me?
-Thanks a lot, Daddy. You really came through for me.
-I got some money I can give you -
-Keep it.
-Well, son, I want you to know I hope everything works out with you and Alabama. I like her. I think you make a cute couple.
-We do make a cute couple, don't we?
-Do you know who I am, Mr. Worley?
-I give up. Who are you?
-I'm the Anti-Christ. You get me in a vendetta kind of mood, you will tell the angels in heaven that you had never seen pure evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincenzo Coccotti. I work as a counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle, the man your son stole from. I hear
-I've heard of Blue Lou Boyle.
-I'm glad. Hopefully that will clear up the how-full-of-shit-I-am question you've been asking yourself. Now, we're gonna have a little Q and A, and, at the risk of sounding redundant, please make your answers genuine. Want a Chesterfield?
-No.
-I have a son of my own. About you boy's age. I can imagine how painful this must be for you. But Clarence and that bitch-whore girlfriend of his brought this all on themselves. And I implore you not to go down the road with 'em. You can always take comfort in the fact that you never had a choice.
-I've seen him.
-Now I can't be sure of how much of what he told you. So in the chance you're in the dark about some of this, let me shed some light. That whore your boy hangs around with, her pimp is an associate of mine, and I don't just mean pimpin', in other affairs he works for me in a courier capacity. Well, apparently, that
-What are you talkin' about?
-I'm talkin' about a massacre. They snatched my narcotics and hightailed it outta there. Wouldda gotten away with it, but your son, fuckhead that he is, left his driver's license in a dead guy's hand. A whore hiding in the commode filled in all the blanks.
-I don't believe you.
-That's of minor importance. But what's of major fuckin' importance is that I believe you. Where did they go?
-On their honeymoon.
-I'm gettin' angry askin' the same question a second time. Where did they go?
-Could I have one of those Chesterfields now?
-Oh, don't bother. I got one. So you're a Sicilian, huh?
-Uh-huh.
-Come again?
-It's about that pimp that was shot a couple of days ago, Drexl Spivey.
-What about him?
-Well, Ted, to tell you the truth, I found out through the grapevine that it might be, and I only said might be, the Drexl Spivey that was responsible for that restaurant break-in on Riverdale.
-Are you still working security for Foster & Langley?
-Yeah, and the restaurant's on my route. And you know, I stuck my nose in for the company to try to put a stop to some of these break-ins. Now, while I have no proof, the name Drexl Spivey kept comin' up Who's case is it?
-McTeague.
-I don't know him. Is he a nice guy? You think he'll help me out?
-I don't see why not. When you gonna come round and see my new place?
-You and Robin moved?
-I'm me... I mean, that's me.
-Well, the part you're reading for is one of the bad guys. There's Brian and Marty. Peter Breck's already been cast as Brian. And you're reading for the part of Marty. Now in this scene you're both in a car and Bill Shatner's hanging on the hood. And what you're trying to do is get him off. Whenever you're ready.
-Where'd you come from?
-I don't know. He just appeared as magic.
-That was very good.
-Thank you.
-If we decided on making him a New York type, could you do that?
-Sure. No problem.
-Could we try it now?
-Where'd he come from?
-I don't know. He just appeared as magic.
-Both you, idiots shut up, I can't understand shit! Now, what's happened, what's going on, and what are you talking about?
-That Vietnam movie?
-Uh-huh.
-That was a good fuckin' movie.
-Sure was.
-Do you believe him?
-He'll wear a wire?
-We talked him into it.
-Dirty cops. We'll have to bring in internal affairs on this.
-Look, sunshine, we found a sandwich bag of uncut cocaine -
-Not a tiny little vial -
-But a fuckin' baggie.
-No don't sit here and feed us some shit.
-You got caught. It's all fun and fuckin' games till you get caught. But now we gotcha. OK, Mr. Elliot actor, you've just made the big time -
-You're no longer an extra -
-Or a bit player -
-Or a supporting actor -
-You're a fuckin' star! And you're gonna be playin' your little one-man show nightly for the next two fuckin' years for a captive audience -
-But there is a bright side though. If you ever have to play a part of a guy who gets fucked in the ass on a daily basis by throat-slitting niggers, you'll have so much experience to draw on -
-And just think, when you get out in a few years, you'll meet some girl, get married, and you'll be so understanding to your wife's needs, because you'll know what it's like to be a woman.
-'Course you'll wanna fuck her in the ass. Pussy just won't feed right anymore -
-Krinkle, this is it. We got it, man. And it's all ours. I mean talk about fallin' into somethin'. You shoulda seen it, it was beautiful. Dimes is hittin' him from the left about being fucked in the ass by niggers, I'm hittin' him form the right about not likin' pussy anymore, finally he starts cryin', and then it was all over -
-Nicholson and I.
-Nicholson and I go to work on him. Now er know somthing's rotten in Denmark, 'cause this dickhead had a big bag, and it's uncut, too, so we're sweatin' him, trying to find out where he got it. Scarin' the shit outta him.
-Which wasn't too hard, the guy was a real squid.
-Suspect's words -
-To front for him. So Elliot is workin' out the deal between them and his boss, a big movie producer named Lee Donowitz.
-He's so spooked he'd turn over his momma, his daddy, his two-panny granny, and Anna and the King of Siam if he had anything on him.
-Like gang-busters. Now, remember, if you don't want to go to jail, we gotta put your boss in jail.
-We have to show in court that, without a doubt, a successful man, an important figure in the Hollywood community, is also dealing cocaine.
-You do more than try.
-You do.
-He knows.
-How the fuck could he know?
-He saw the wire.
-How's he supposed to see the wire?
-We gotta get him outta there.
-He's bluffin ya, Elliot. Can't you see that? You're an actor, remember, the show must go on.
-Don't blow it, Elliot. He's bluffin'. He just told you so himself.
-What was I sayin'?
-Rock whores.
-Looky here, you want the bitches to really fly high, make your rocks with Cherry Seven-Up.
-You OK? That stupid dumb-ass didn't break your nose, did he?
-You see what you get when you fuck wit me, white boy? You're gonna walk in my goddamn house, my house! Gonna come in here and tell me! Talkin' smack, in my house, in front of my employees. Shit! Your ass must be crazy. I don't think that white boy's got good sense. Hey, Marty. He must of thought it was white boy day.
-Naw, man, it ain't white boy day.
-I'll keep lover boy here entertained. You know the first thing I'll do when she gets here. I think I'll make her suck my dick, and I'll come all in her face. I mean it ain't nuttin' new. She's done it before. But I want you as a audience. Marty, what the fuck are you doin'?
-I'm tryin' to find my jacket.
-Nigger, get outta my face with that bullshit.
-Naw man, I don't be eatin' that shit.
-Naw man, that's some serious shit.
-Preach on, Big D.
-Yeah, that's right, laugh. It's so funny, oh it's so funny. There used to be a time when sisters didn't know shit about gettin' their pussy licked. Then the sixties came an' they started fuckin' around with white boys. And white boys are freaks for that shit -
-- Because it's good!
-Well fuck you guys then! You guys are fucked up!
-Why you trippin'? We jus' fuckin' with ya. But I wanna ask you a question. You with some fine bitch, I mean a brick shithouse bitch - you're with Jayne Kennedy. You're with Jayne Kennedy and you say "Bitch, suck my dick!" and then Jayne Kennedy says, "First things first, nigger, I ain't suckin' shit till you bring your ass over here and lick
-You tell Jayne Kennedy to fuck it?
-If it came down to who eats who, damn skippy.
-Fuck! I knew it! I fucking knew it! I should have my head examined, driving like this! Kandi, you gotta help me.
-You gotta hold this for me.
-You must be high. Uh-huh. No way.
-Just put it in your purse.
-I'm not gonna put that shit in my purse.
-They won't search you. I promise. You haven't done anything.
-No way, JosÈ.
-Please, they'll be here any minute. Just put it in your bra.
-I'm not wearing a bra.
-Put it in your pants.
-No.
-You're the one who wanted to drive fast.
-Hello, is Dick Ritchie here?
-Naw, he ain't home right now.
-Do you live here?
-Yeah, I live here.
-Sorta room-mates?
-Exactly room-mates.
-Maybe you can help me. Actually, who I'm looking for is a friend of ours from Detroit. Clarence Worley? I heard he was in town. Might be travelling with a pretty girl named Alabama. Have you seen him? Are they stayin' here?
-Naw, they ain't stayin' here. But, I know who you're talkin' about. They're stayin' at the Hollywood Holiday Inn.
-How do you know? You been there?
-No, I ain't been there. But I heard him say. Hollywood Holiday Inn. Kinda easy to remember.
-Yes.
-Are you Dick Ritchie?
-No.
-Do you know a Clarence Worley?
-Yes.
-Do you know where we can find him?
-He's at the Beverly Wilshire.
-Where's that?
-Excuse me, Mr. Coccotti. Do you know Nick Cardella?
-No.
-Then where the hell do you get off talkin' that kind of talk?
-I didn't mean -
-What was the Jew-boy's name?
-We want you to tell us about last night.
-Wake up, Cole.
-No, sir!
-Well?
-Him? You saw that man?
-Women will want to get to know you...
-The food, the sky, the certain, uh, sexual temptations -- you haven't become "addicted" have you, Cole? To that "dying" world'
-You said we weren't "real," Cole...
-I understand. There'd be no point.
-To be determined by the proper authorities.
-We want tough minded people. Strong mentally. We've had some...misfortunes with "unstable" types.
-He's drugged out of his mind! He's completely zoned out.
-But just until you recover your, uh,... equilibrium.
-We're very close! Because of you!
-I told you that fuckhead Mason would get us into something like this.
-That's him.
-It's the kidnap woman -- the one who was with the guy who tied us up.
-What's she doing?
-Wow, a guy in a Chevy is chasing her and some other guy I can't see.
-It's important to observe everything.
-They forced me to take drugs.
-Forced you! Why would someone force you to take drugs?
-Let's consider again our current information -- if the symptoms were first detected in Philadelphia on June 28, 1995, that makes us know that...?
-It was released in Philadelphia, probably on June 14, 1995.
-San Francisco, New Orleans, Rio de Janeiro, Rome, Kinshasa, Karachi, Bangkok, then Peking.
-Meaning...???
-That the virus was taken from Philadelphia to San Francisco, then to New Orleans, Rio de Janeiro, Rome, Kinshasa, Karachi, Bangkok, then Peking.
-And your only goal is...???
-To find out where the virus is so a qualified scientist can travel back into the past and study the original virus.
-So that...???
-Mr. Cole? My name is Doctor Railly. I'm a psychiatrist. I work for the County -- I don't work for the police. My only concern is your well being -- do you understand that?
-I need to go now.
-I'm going to be completely honest. I'm not going to lie to you. I can't make the police let you go...but I do want to help you. And I want you to trust me. Can you do that, James? May I call you "James"?
-"James"! Nobody ever calls me that.
-Have you been a patient at County? Have I seen you someplace?
-No, not possible. Listen, I have to get out of here. I'm supposed to be getting information.
-What kind of information?
-It won't help you. You can't do anything about it. You can't change anything.
-Change what?
-I need to go.
-Do you know why you're here, James.
-Because I'm a good observer. Because I have a tough mind.
-I see. You don't remember assaulting a police officer...several officers?
-They wanted identification. I don't have any identification. I wasn't trying to hurt them.
-You don't have a driver's license, James? Or a Social Security card?
-No.
-Why not? Most people have some ID.
-You wouldn't understand.
-You've been in an institution, haven't you, James? A hospital?
-I have to go.
-A jail? Prison?
-Underground.
-Hiding?
-I love this air. This is wonderful air.
-What's wonderful about the air, James?
-It's so clean. No germs.
-You're afraid of germs?
-I have to go.
-Why do you think there aren't any germs in the air, James?
-This is April, right?
-July.
-July?!
-Do you know what year it is?
-What year is it?
-What year do you think it is?
-1995?
-You think it's July of 1995? That's the future, James. Do you think you're living in the future?
-No, 1995 is the past.
-It was some lady. She didn't know anything.
-Perhaps it was a wrong number...
-James, where did you grow up? Was it around here? Around Baltimore?
-What?
-I have the...strangest feeling I've met you before...a long time ago, perhaps. Were you ever...?
-It's just a shot to calm you.
-No more drugs. Please...
-Cole! James Cole! You escaped from a locked room six years ago.
-I can't believe this is a coincidence, Mr. Cole. Have you been...following me?
-You told me you'd help me. I know this isn't what you meant, but...I was desperate... no money...bum leg... sleeping on the streets. I probably smell bad. Sorry about that. But then I saw your book in a store window with a notice about your lecture. I can read, remember?
-Yes, I remember. Why do you want to go to Philadelphia?
-You used to call me "James".
-You'd prefer that? ... James...you don't really have a gun, do you.
-"Never cry wolf!"
-What?
-My father told me that. "Never cry wolf." Then people won't believe you if...something really happens.
-"If something really happens"...like what, James?
-Did something terrible happen to you when you were a child? Something so bad...?
-You were in my dream just now. Your hair was different, but I'm sure it was you.
-We dream about what's important in our lives. And I seem to have become pretty important in yours. What was the dream about?
-About an airport...before everything happened. It's the same dream I always have -- the only one. I'm a little kid in it.
-And I was in it? What did I do?
-You were very upset. You're always very upset in the dream, but I never knew it was you before.
-No, I think it was always you. It's very strange.
-My notes. Observations. Clues.
-Clues? What kind of clues?
-A secret army. The Army of The Twelve Monkeys. I've told you about them. They spread the virus. That's why we have to get to Philadelphia. I have to find them -- it's my assignment.
-What will you do...when you find this...secret army?
-Does that disturb you, James? Thinking about that little boy in the well?
-When I was a kid I identified with that kid, down there alone in that pipe...a hundred feet down -- doesn't know if they're going to save him.
-What do you mean -- when you were a kid?
-Look, I'm warning you. You do anything, I'm going to go crazy -- hurt people!
-They're keeping an eye on me.
-Who's keeping an eye on you?
-Are you hurt?
-Oh, Jesus, James! You killed him!
-You didn't have a gun before, did you?
-I told you what I want. Lock the door!
-James, why don't we...?
-Mason???
-All I see are dead people. Everywhere. What's three more?
-The guy was a total fruitcake.
-We need gas.
-I thought you didn't know how to drive.
-I said I was too young to drive. I didn't say I was stupid.
-What's the matter with your leg?
-I got shot. Look -- there's a gas station up ahead.
-Shot! Who shot you?
-You were going to run out off gas on purpose, weren't you?
-No. I want you to turn yourself in, James -- It'll go much better for you if you do -- but I'm not going to trick you.
-You smell so good.
-What have you done? Did you...kill someone?
-No! I...don't think so. I stole a car and they chased me. I hit a tree.
-See -- you can drive after all!
-What made you think that?
-Jeffrey Mason said it was my idea about the virus. And suddenly, I wasn't sure. We talked when I was in the institution, and it was all...fuzzy. The drugs and stuff. You think maybe I'm the one who wiped out the human race? It was my idea?
-Nobody is going to wipe out the human race. Not you or Jeffrey or anybody else. You've created something in your mind, James -- a substitute reality. In order to avoid something you don't want to face.
-I'm..."mentally divergent". I would love to believe that.
-I need help all right. They're coming after me.
-First, it's important that you surrender to them instead of them catching you running. Okay?
-It would be great if I'm crazy. If I'm wrong about everything...the world will be okay. I'll never have to live underground.
-Give me the gun.
-The gun! ... I lost it
-You're sure?
-James! That's a policeman. Pretend you don't know me. If he sees you...
-I don't understand what we're doing.
-We're avoiding the police until I can....talk to you.
-Okay...you were standing there looking at the moon...you were eating grass... then what?
-I thought I was in...prison again.
-Just like that? You were in prison?
-No, not really. It's...it's in my mind. Like you said.
-You disappeared! One minute you were there, the next minute you were gone. Did you run through the woods?
-I don't know -- I don't remember.
-The boy in the well. How did you know that was just a hoax?
-It was? I didn't...know.
-James, you said he was hiding in the barn...
-I think I saw a TV show like that when I was a kid. Where a boy...
-What does this mean to you?
-...I had a dream about...something like that.
-You had a bullet from World War One in your leg, James! How did it get there?
-You said I had delusions -- that I created a world -- you said you could explain everything...
-I want to be here. In this time. With you. I want to become...become a whole person. I want this to be the present. I want the future to be unknown.
-You want me to rob him?
-It's a Carpet Cleaning Company...
-A Carpet Cleaning Company?
-No superiors! No scientists. No people from the future. It's just a Carpet Cleaning Company. They have voice mail -- you leave a message telling them when you want your carpet cleaned.
-You... you left them a message?
-You... you couldn't have heard me.
-I think I've seen this movie before. When I was a kid. It was on TV.
-Shh -- don't talk. Hold still.
-I have seen it, but I don't remember this part. Funny, it's like what's happening to us, like the past. The movie never changes -- it can't change -- but everytime you see it, it seems to be different because you're different -- you notice different things.
-If we can't change anything...because it's already happened, then we ought to at least smell the flowers.
-Why are we doing this?
-But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're wrong. Maybe we're both crazy.
-You were in my dream just now. I didn't recognize you.
-Well, you look pretty different, too.
-I mean in my dream -- I didn't realize it was you. Then...I woke up and I...I thought you were gone.
-That's what they were up to! Freeing animals!
-I know this place! ... This is my dream.
-They may be looking for us, James. Use this. You can fix it in the Men's Room.
-I was here...as a kid. I think you were here, too. But you...looked just like you look now.
-James, if we're identified, they're going to send us someplace...but not to Key West!
-Right! You're right. I have to fix this.
-Does this bother you, Mr. Cole?
-No! Look, I don't belong here! What I need to do is make a telephone call to straighten everything out.
-Who would you call, Mr. Cole, who would straighten everything out?
-Scientists. I'm supposed to report in to them. They'll want to know they sent me to the wrong time.
-So you could talk to these scientists and they do what? Send you to the future?
-What'd they give you? Thorazine? How much? Learn your drugs -- know your doses.
-I need to make a telephone call.
-Germs?!
-"What about the germs?" I say. He goes, "I don't believe in germs. Germs are just a plot they made up so they can sell you disinfectants and soap!" Now, he's crazy, right? Hey, you believe in germs, don't you?
-I'm not crazy.
-Of course not, I never thought you were. You want to escape, right? That's very sane. I can help you. You want me to, don't you? Get you out?
-If you know how to escape, why don't you...?
-Why don't I escape, that's what you were going to ask me, right? 'Cause I'd be crazy to escape! I'm all taken care of, see? I've sent out word.
-What's that mean?
-They hurt you!
-Look at those assholes, they're asking for it! Maybe people deserved to be wiped out!
-Wiping cut the human race! That's a great idea! But it's more of a long term thing -- right now we have to focus on more immediate goals. I didn't say a word about "you know what".
-What are you talking about???
-What're you writing? You a reporter?
-It's private.
-What....???
-Wooooo, they really dosed you, bro. Major load! Listen up -- try and get it together. Focus! Focus! The plan! Remember? I did my part.
-What...???
-Never saw him before in my life. Go ahead and shoot him or torture him or whatever it is you do.
-You do know me. You helped me once.
-That would be totally out of character. Helping people is against my principles. See, he definitely doesn't know me. Now, I'm going to go back and listen to my father's very eloquent discourse on the perils of science WHILE YOU TORTURE THIS INTRUDER TO DEATH.
-Excuse me -- what did you say?
-County Hospital, right? 1989. The "Immaculate Escape" -- am I right? Why, thank you -- you look wonderful, too.
-Listen to me -- I can't do anything about what you're going to do. I can't change anything. I can't stop you. I just want some information...
-We need to talk. Come on. Upstairs. I am a new person! I'm completely adjusted. Witness the tux. It's Armani. Who chattered? Goines? Weller?
-I don't have time to go upstairs. The police are looking for me. I need to know where it is and exactly what it is.
-I get it! This is your old plan, right?
-Plan? What are you talking about?
-Remember? We were in the dayroom, watching TV, and you were all upset about the...desecration of the planet. And you said to me, "Wouldn't it be great if there was a germ or a virus that could wipe out mankind and leave the plants and animals just as they are?" You do remember that, don't you?
-Bulishit! You're fucking with my head!
-And that's when I told you my father was this famous virologist and you said, "Hey, he could make a germ and we could steal it!"
-JOSE!
-Jo...Jose????
-Me? Are you kiddin? You're the one! You were a hero, man. They gave you a pardon! And whadda you do? You come back and fuck with your teeth! Wow!
-How did you find me?
-The phone call, man. The phone call.
-The call I just made? Five minutes ago?
-This part isn't about the virus, is it?
-Hey, man...
-It's about obeying, about doing what you're told.
-They gave you a pardon, man. Whatdaya want?
-I mashed the spider, didn't I?
-I asked you, why did you volunteer?
-Uh, that message...me?
-It's a digital reconstruction of a message, Cole, from a weak signal on our contact number. Did you make that call?
-But you know what's real now?
-Don't be defensive, Kathryn, this isn't an inquisition.
-I didn't think I was being defensive. I was just...
-He should have been in restraints. It was bad judgment on your part, plain and simple. why not just cop to it?
-Okay, it was bad judgment. But I have the strangest feeling about him -- I've seen him somewhere and...
-Two policemen were already in the hospital and now we have an orderly with a broken arm and a Security Officer with a fractured skull.
-I said it was bad judgment! What else do you want me to say?
-He was fully sedated!
-He kidnapped you, Kathryn. You saw him murder someone. You knew there was a real possibility he would kill you, too. You were under tremendous emotional stress.
-For God sakes, Owen, listen to me -- he knew about the boy in Fresno and he says three billion people are going to die!
-Kathryn, you know he can't possibly know that. You're a rational person. You're a trained psychiatrist. You know the difference between what's real and what's not.
-What...virus?
-She knew about it, Jeffrey. She knew you were going to try this.
-What virus are we talking about, Dad?
-You're insane, Jeffrey.
-You "develop" viruses and you're calling me insane? Typical. What does this virus attack? Don't tell me, you sick fuck, it doesn't matter. Have I ever "developed" a virus? Do I put helpless animals in cages and measure their reactions to electrical stimuli? Do I inject radioactive substances into living creatures and examine their bowel movements? Wow! And I'm crazy!
-Please tell me, Jeffrey, what exactly are you going to do? I don't have to tell you I'm afraid.
-One dozen bolt cutters! Whadda you gonna do with one dozen bolt cutters?
-You really want to know?
-WHY DON'T WE FORGET MY GODDAMN PSYCHIATRIST AND DEAL WITH THE TASK AT HAND. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
-Your psychiatrist? Did you just say, "your psychiatrist"?
-Ex-psychiatrist! Now, what about flashlights? How many flashlights...?
-WHO CARES WHAT PSYCHIATRISTS WRITE ON WALLS? You think I told her about the Army of the 12 Monkeys? Impossible! Know why, you pathetically ineffectual and pusillanimous "pretend-friend-to- animals"?! I'll tell you why: because when I had anything to do with her six years ago, there was no such thing -- I hadn't even thought of it yet!
--- so they get there and they ask the guy real nice for some kind of i.d., and he gets agitated, starts screaming about viruses. Totally irrational, totally disoriented, doesn't know where he is, what day it is, alla that stuff. All they got was his name. They figure he's stoned out of his mind, it's some kinda psychotic episode, so they're gonna bring
-He's been tested for drugs?
-You have him in restraints.
-That would explain the bruises, I guess. The struggle.
-You want to go in? Examine him?
-Yes, please. You said he gave a name...
-James Cole. That's everything we got. None of the James Coles on the computer match him. No license, no prints, no warrants. Nothing. You want me to go in with you?
-No, thank you.
-Nine thirty
-Might be tight.
-Tight? My watch says 7:30.
-On your normal mornin', okay, plenty a time, but today, gotta take inta account your Army-of-the-Twelve-Monkeys factor.
-What? What did you say?
-Hey! You there!
-You want something, old man?
-Don't call me old man. Ain't you got no respect, boy?
-You want something?
-Yeah I want something. I want you to run over to that machine and get me a pop.
-You can't do that yourself?
-Hell no, I can't do that myself. I'm blind. Can't you see that?
-I'm sorry, I didn't--
-What'd you think I was doing out here with these glasses on? Sunnin' myself?
-I don't know. I thought you were keeping the sun from your eyes.
-I ain't got no eyes. You want to see?
-Christ no!
-Lost my eyes on Okinawa. Lost them fighting the war. Fought the war and lost my eyes just so you could come around here and make fun of me.
-I said I was sorry.
-Don't be sorry. Just run over there and get me my pop before I die of thirst.
-Yeah, sure. You got change?
-Change? You want my change? I fought the war and lost my eyes just so I could give you my change?
-Get me a Dr. Peppa! I don't want no Pepsi. Pepsi ain't nothing but flavored water.
-Don't forget to open it for me. I can't be opening my own bottle.
-I think you'd better give your pooch a sip. He looks sick.
-Oh, Jesus.
-I hope you wasn't pettin' him none, was you?
-What the hell are you keeping a dead dog around for?
-He's only just dead. What was I supposed to do with him? I can't take him away anywhere. And nobody wants to take him for me. Do you?
-He no!
-You sure seen a lot for a blind man.
-Just 'cause I ain't got eyes doesn't mean I can't see.
-That a fact?
-I can see just fine. For example: You're a young man who thinks he's got someplace to be.
-Maybe I do.
-Or maybe you just think you do. You can run just as far as you can, but wherever you go, there you are.
-I think I've heard that before.
-What do you want for free?
-You sure got a lot of philosophy, old man.
-That's 'cause I've done a lot of living.
-Maybe one day I'll get to sit on a corner and spout wise.
-Ain't you got a little something for the infirm?
-I'm a little short. I'll catch you next time.
-The day wasn't so bad. We all got through it all right.
-Ain't over yet. Night is part of day; separate, but equal. Night is when you let your guard down; when you see things in the shadows and hear things in the dark.
-You're a hell of a pessimist, old man.
-Night is when you want to sleep, but the dry heat keeps you tossin' and turnin'. It's when you wish the sun was bakin' high in the sky so you could see what it is you're afraid of.
-You afraid of the dark?
-Afraid of it? Boy, I live in the dark. People are afraid of what they can't see. I can't see nuthin', so it's all the same to me. Kiss from a beautiful woman, a lick from a dog. The kiss of death. It's all the same.
-You don't fear death?
-We was born to die, boy. From the minute you take your first breath you got a death sentence hanging over your head. You just don't know where, or when, or how. Don't make sense worryin' about the particulars.
-We're all just floating along like twigs in a stream, so enjoy the ride. Is that it?
-More or less.
-Not this twig, friend. I got plans.
-We all got plans. I planned on seeing all my life. I know you didn't plan on straying into town.
-No and I don't plan on sticking around either. I don't guess I'll be seeing you again. Take it easy.
-Any parting words of wisdom?
-I'll take a piece of that bet. I say it doesn't come up five times each side.
-Well, a man with some gumption. How much money you got?
-Nothing.
-You want to make a kiddies bet?
-It's a Movado.
-Never heard of it. It's got no day or date. Hell, it ain't even got numbers. What's the matter? You couldn't afford a Timex?
-Thirty-bucks? That's it?
-That's my morning's pay.
-One-hundred-thirteen degrees. That was back in July of forty-seven. Now there ain't no way it's gonna be hotter than that.
-Hundred and eight ain't a hundred and thirteen.
-Will be.
-You ain't nothing but an old fool.
-It's nonsense.
-It is not.
-A coin's got two sides. When you flip it there's a fifty-fifty chance it'll be heads or tails. Boyd thinks if you flip a coin ten times half the time it'll come up each side.
-It will.
-And what are you? A rocket scientist?
-I got more brains than you've got teeth.
-Can I help you, sir?
-I need a ticket.
-Where to?
-Out of here.
-But, in particular?
-I . . . Mexico. You got a bus that goes to Mexico? That's where I have to go.
-Where in Mexico would you like--
-We have a bus to Mexico. Arrives in two hours. Have to make a couple of connections, but it will get you across the border.
-How much.
-One way, or round trip?
-One way.
-Twenty-seven, fifty. That's all I got.
-The ticket is thirty dollars.
-I bought a beer. That was two- fifty. I bought a beer, otherwise I would have thirty.
-I'm sorry, sir. It's thirty dollars for the ticket.
-Please, you don't understand. I have to get out of here. They're going to come looking for me. They're going to kill me. If I can't get this ticket then I'm going to have to do things to get out of here. I don't want to hurt anybody, I just want to leave.
-You want somethin'?
-You Harlin?
-Nope. Darrell.
-Harlin around?
-Will he be back soon?
-Doubt it. He's dead. The Look Out's a cemetery.
-You own this place?
-Yep.
-Then why do you call it Harlin's?
-'Cause Harlin used to own it.
-But he's dead.
-You want to take a look at my car? I think the radiator hose is--
-That'll make five in a row. Never seen it so hot. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed. I'd rather just lay there and try to catch a breeze. I was in Mexico this one time--
-It's your radiator hose. It's busted.
-I know it's busted. What did I just tell you?
-Well, you know so much why don't you just fix it yourself?
-If I could do you think I'd be standing here wasting my time. Can you fix it, or do I have to go somewhere else?
-Somewhere else? Mister somewhere else is fifty miles from here. How you planning on getting it there? You gonna push this heap yourself?
-Hey!
-Yeah, I can fix it. Gotta run over to the yard and see if I can find a hose like this one, or close enough. Gonna take time.
-How much time?
-Time.
-What time is it now?
-Twenty-after-ten.
-Jesus. Twenty-after-ten and it must be ninety already.
-Accident.
-You got to be more careful. I remember one time--
-Yeah, right. Someplace in this dust bowl I can get something to drink?
-Truck stop up a piece. Not much, but us simple folk like it.
-I'll be back in a couple of hours. And be careful with her, will you?
-Hey.
-Hey, your . . . what the hell happened to you.
-Nothing.
-Don't look like nothing.
-Just banged my head. It was an accident.
-Look, I just want to pick up my car.
-She's all yours. Put a new hose in it, and she runs like a dream now.
-How much?
-Well . . . parts, labor . . . let's call it a hundred-fifty bucks.
-How much!?
-Hundred-fifty.
-To replace a God damn radiator hose!?
-A God damn radiator hose in a sixty- four-and-a-half Mustang. You know how long it took me to find that hose?
-About an hour and a half, because that's all the longer I've been gone.
-That's about an hour and a half longer than I usually spend looking for parts. You're the one thinks that car's so damn fancy. What you expect but fancy damn prices?
-That's a Ford, not a Ferrari. You going to tell me no one else in this shit hole drives a Ford?
-That's not just a Ford, that's a sixty-four-and-a-half Mustang.
-What's that got to do with the radiator hose?
-I don't know, but it's the reason I'm living here and you're just passing through. Now you owe me a hundred-fifty dollars.
-It might as well be fifteen-hundred dollars, because I don't have the money.
-Then you ain't gonna have the car.
-Then you're only a hundred-forty- five in the hole. Now why don't you just take your Visa Express Silver Card, call Karl Malden and have him send you the money lickity split.
-I don't have a credit card. They took my wallet.
-Now that's too bad. I sure hope you know how to wash dishes or shovel shit 'cause you're gonna have to work this one off.
-You son of a bitch!
-Hey there. I was beginnin' to think you wasn't comin' back. You don't look so good.
-Yeah, well, I've been around the bend a bit.
-One of those days you feel like you been runnin' in circles and you ain't no closer to where you tryin' to get than when you started?
-You've been there?
-Hell, I've had days I would gladly trade with a whippin' dog. Ain't much you can do when you feel like that 'cept tough it out.
-You believe that?
-You think bad, and bad is what you get.
-That's a good piece of advice, Darrell.
-No charge.
-Listen, Darrell, about that hundred- fifty bucks for the car, as soon as I get where I'm going I swear I'll--
-Two-hundred.
-What?
-It's going to cost you two-hundred dollars.
-You said this morning the hose was going to run me one-fifty.
-Yep. For the hose. But while you was gone I replaced a gasket. That's going to run you another fifty.
-I didn't tell you to replace any gasket.
-Yeah, but it was shot.
-I didn't tell you to do it! You can't just do unauthorized work.
-Well, now, you just know all there is about bein' a mechanic, don't you? I can't do unauthorized work. I suppose I can just let you ride out of here with a bad gasket. Then you get in an accident and get killed. Or worse. Who they gonna blame then? They gonna blame me, and there goes my reputation.
-What reputation? You're nothing but an ignorant, inbred, tumble weed hick.
-Is that an insult? Are you insulting me.
-Listen you stupid fuck, I want my car.
-Take it. As soon as I get my money. Fifty dollars for an almost new gasket. You don't know what kind of a deal you're getting.
-I'm taking my car, and I'm taking it now!
-No!
-What's the matter? The fight gone out of you? I'm just gonna smash a headlight. Maybe two.
-Please, just leave the car alone.
-Goddamn you! You son of a bitch!
-What you want?
-Open up!
-We're closed. Come back in the morning.
-It is morning.
-What the hell . . . oh it's you. Might've figured. What do you want?
-I want my car.
-Two-hundred dollars in hundred- dollar bills. And this morning you was broke.
-What's it to you?
-I don't want no dirty money. I run an honest business.
-Now that you're so well off, can I get you something, Hon?
-You got beer?
-What would a truck stop be without beer?
-Let me have a Beck's.
-We ain't got no Beck's.
-Kirin?
-No, we ain't got no Kirin. We got Miller.
-Genuine Draft?
-No. We got Miller. Regular Miller. You want it, or don't you?
-Shasta! Now why'd you go and scare the nice man like that? Sorry about that, hon. Enjoy your beer, and try to have a nice day.
-What was that all about?
-You know how that Toby is. Thinks every man he sees is after his Jenny.
-More like Jenny is after every man she sees.
-Poor thing. Is she all right?
-Lord! Put the baby in the icebox. Killed the poor thing.
-Let me get your change.
-Ned! Now look at what you done! Are you all right?
-I think I burned my gun hand!
-That yours, Mrs. McKenna?
-Yes. Yes it is.
-Taking a little trip?
-I had a fight with Jake. I . . . I just wanted to get away for awhile. Mr. Stewart was kind enough to take me as far as Montrose. I'm going to take a bus to my sister's. I thought I'd stay with her for a few days.
-Is that right? Can't say as I blame you for wanting to head out for a bit. I know I've had my fill of this town. Sixteen years I've been the law and order here. So long I forgot why I ever wanted the job in the first place. Help people, I guess. Keep the peace. Problem is there's so much peace around here
-I could do that. 'Course we'd have to go back into town. There'd be a whole crowd of people around when the trunk was opened. A whole crowd of witnesses. That wouldn't be too pretty, now would it?
-Is that the way you want it, boy? A bullet in the head in the middle of the desert? Ends like this and you won't be able to spend a dime of that blood money.
-For the love of God would you two give it a rest? Lord almighty. In all my years I have never seen anything so pathetic. How far did you think you were going to get with this? Neither one of you can wait to slit the others throat. Now use what little smarts you got. If I was going to bust you I wouldn't
-What do you want?
-. . .at the very least. I know there was more than thirty-thousand dollars. Now, how much did you get?
-Don't tell him anything. He can't do this.
-There you go, Mrs. McKenna. Just put it in there.
-That wasn't so bad. What's thirty- some-thousand to rich folks like you? It didn't hurt a bit.
-Jake. I thought you would be at work, dear.
-Who was that on the phone?
-Wrong number.
-I put up new drapes, Jake.
-I know. I was here when your apprentice was helping you. Remember?
-You never said anything. About the drapes.
-They look nice.
-They look nice.
-I picked them out for you, Jake. I thought you would like the colors.
-What the hell you looking at, girl?
-What's the matter?
-You didn't hear something?
-How could I? I was sleeping.
-There's someone in the house.
-I don't hear anything. You were dreaming. Or maybe the wind blew something over.
-Jake, what is that?
-What does it look like?
-Oh my God, Jake, no. If it is someone they'll go away. Or call the police. Don't go out there.
-What are you afraid of? I'm the one's got the gun. Stay here.
-Can I give you a hand, beautiful?
-I'm just going to my car.
-My mother told me never to accept offers from strangers.
-My name is John. Now I'm not a stranger anymore. See how easy it is for us to get to know each other, beautiful?
-Do you have to call me that?
-I don't know your real name.
-Maybe I don't want you to.
-Maybe, but if you didn't I think you would have kept on walking.
-You're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?
-My cup runneth over, beauti--
-It's Grace.
-Jesus.
-You sure you can manage?
-I got it.
-No, I've got it.
-What happened to your hand?
-Accident.
-It's very nice of you to help me. That package is kind of heavy, and it's so hot.
-Wasn't nothing.
-Oh, this isn't my car. It's down a ways. I should have parked closer. I just didn't think it would be so heavy. I could drive up.
-It's nothing. Really.
-I just got tired of looking at the old drapes. Had them long as I can remember.
-That a fact?
-I saw these in the Penny's catalog, and I just knew I had to have them. You ever seen something and just knew you had to have it?
-Yes, I have.
-'Course they cost a little more than I should really be spending. But, damn it, I don't hardly ever do anything nice for myself. I deserve nice things.
-Thank you, John.
-You're welcome, Grace.
-You're not from around here, are you?
-Why you say that? Just because I help a lady with her package?
-You don't have that dead look in your eyes like the only thing you live for is to get through the day.
-I just drove in this morning.
-Drove into Sierra? What for?
-Didn't have a choice. My car overheated up the road.
-Good luck it didn't happen a few miles back. Maybe they never would have found you. Day like today you'd be dead for sure.
-Yeah, my luck. I get to be stuck out here in this hole in the desert.
-Least you can leave.
-Not until my car's fixed. I don't know how long that's going to take.
-Where you coming from?
-All over. Chicago, Miami, Detroit. Just lately Albuquerque.
-You've been around.
-I guess I've got wander in my blood.
-Where you headed?
-I don't know. I have to make a stop in Vegas. Business to finish. Then maybe I'll head to Santa Barbara. I might be able to pick up some work there.
-You just travel around, no direction, no steady work. You must like taking chances.
-If you're going to gamble, might as well play for high stakes.
-What happens if you lose?
-I pack up and go somewhere else.
-Somewhere else. I've never been anywhere else. Just once. Years ago. Went to the state fair. It was nice, but it wasn't nothing.
-That's good. Cools you right off. I saw you watching me.
-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
-I didn't say it bothered me.
-Did you like it; me watching you?
-I guess. I've got an ego same as any man.
-Nice place you got here.
-Must get kind of lonely for a woman living by herself in a big house.
-I guess it must.
-What do you do anyway?
-A little of this, a little of that. Mostly I tell fortunes.
-Where'd you learn to do that?
-From my father. He was the tribe's Shaman.
-A medicine man?
-Those are white words, not ours.
-Nice house for a Shaman's daughter. You must be good.
-My face tell you all that?
-It tells me what every face tells me. Everybody has a past, they have a pain, and they have something they want. What is it you want?
-There. All done. Lift me down.
-What?
-You can let go of me now. I'm safe. How do they look.
-Like you.
-Beautiful?
-Like they're made of polyester.
-I like them. I was sick of looking at this room. I think they add a little life.
-No more drapes to hang. Now what should we do?
-I have ideas.
-All right, Grace. No more games.
-Games?
-You flirt with me, then you run cold. You lead me on, then slap me down. I don't go for being jerked around.
-I think I can find my own way back to into town.
-Maybe I like to find out about a man first. Maybe I like to know what he's made of.
-You never did answer my question.
-Still playing?
-That's not an answer. What is it you want?
-You know what I want.
-Damn it, Grace! Tell him.
-Doesn't the heat bother you?
-Yeah, but I like the sun. I grew up on a reservation. The sun, the desert; they were like a religion to us. Jake's the same way. He loves the desert. I guess we're alike that way. That's about the only way.
-You love him?
-No.
-Did you ever?
-Depends on what you call love. When I was growing up I had nothing. I learned to want everything. I wanted more than Sierra anyway. Jake was my ticket. He's not much; he's older than me, different than me, but he's got more money than half this town put together. I courted him. I let him think he was courtin' me, but I reeled
-I'm guessing no.
-Yeah, I guess you're right.
-And I take it things didn't much work out the way you planned.
-All this nothing? I've spent my life in this stinking desert. It doesn't get to Jake like it got to me. He doesn't mind being out here. He doesn't mind being nothing but a land broker. Big fish in a small pond, he says. More like a little fish in a dried up watering hole.
-You could just leave him.
-I don't know how.
-You just walk away.
-It's not that easy. Maybe you can take chances; maybe you can wander around like some stray wherever you please. I can't. I don't want to be alone. I need to know I'm going to be taken care of.
-You need a meal ticket is what you mean. Some guy you can latch onto just long enough for him to get you out of here.
-Is that so bad? It's not like I wouldn't try to make him happy. For awhile, anyway. I mean, I would . . . do things for him. I guess I'm no good that way. I guess I tried to sucker you along like that. Do you hate me for it? I wouldn't blame you if you did. But maybe it's like you said:
-How far is it to California?
-From here? I don't know. Far. Far enough.
-Have you ever been there before?
-Yeah.
-Is it pretty?
-Beautiful. Beautiful beaches. Blue water and clear skies as far as you can see.
-Take me with you.
-I can't.
-Please. I won't hang on you. As soon as we get there you can dump me. I don't care. I just want to get out of here.
-Grace, I can't. I can't even get out of here myself. I need a hundred-fifty bucks to get my car back from that crazy mechanic.
-I know where we could get the money. A lot more than one-hundred-fifty dollars.
-Where?
-Jake.
-You think Jake's going to give me money just so I can take you out of here?
-He doesn't give it to us. We take it.
-From?
-He's got money. In a floor safe in the living room. I've never seen it, but he talks about it all the time. More like brags. He loves his money. Wouldn't think of spending some of it on me.
-You live pretty good.
-Yeah, a bird in a gilded cage.
-How much money has he got?
-Near as I can figure must be about a hundred-thousand.
-One-hundred-thousand!? That son-of- a-bitch lied to me.
-Lied? What do you mean?
-I . . . nothing. Just something he said. So if the money's in a safe we'd have to get the combination--
-It's not a combination lock. It takes a key. He keeps it on him all the time. I mean all the time. It scratches up against me when we do it.
-If the key's on him, to get the key we'd have to . . .
-John? John where are you going?
-I think this heat is making me crazy. I was crazy to come back here, I'm crazy for listening to anyone in this town, and I'd sure as hell be crazy if I spent another minute in this place.
-John, please--
-I don't know what I was thinking, but I can't do it.
-What are you talking about?
-Kill someone. I can't do it.
-Shit!
-It's not like he's a young man. He's had time to live.
-I thought you would be on your way to Vegas by now. Is there something you wanted?
-I wanted to talk.
-I don't think we have anything to talk about.
-What about us?
-There is no us, remember?
-Except I can't get you out of my head, Grace.
-I've thought about you every second since I left. I can still taste you on my lips.
-Stop it.
-Why? Am I making you hot, or does the truth scare you?
-Because I know you're full of shit.
-I mean it, Grace. I'm getting out of here, and I want to take you with me.
-I thought you couldn't leave. I thought you couldn't get your car.
-I could if I had Jake's money.
-Is that what changed your mind? The money?
-I don't give a damn about the money. I want you, and I want to get us out of this shithole. There's only one way to do that.
-Are you sure? About me, I mean?
-I came back for you; this morning I came back. Before I even knew about the money. You're what I want.
-The only reason I stormed off is because you sort of spooked me talking about Jake. But I've had nothing but time to think about it. It keeps coming back to you and me and us getting the hell out of here. But we've got to get the money, baby. We get the money, I get the car, then we get the hell out.
-You said you couldn't kill anybody.
-Grace . . . Grace?
-Why the hell didn't you do anything?
-What was I supposed to do?
-Where's the safe?
-I don't know.
-You don't know? Jesus Christ! Don't you think you should have found out before we killed him?
-I'm not sure where it is. Not exactly. I never saw it. I just heard him talk about it.
-Oh, that's great. We killed Jake because you heard him talk about some money that you've never seen. That's fucking brilliant!
-Nothing. There's no safe under here.
-There has to be!
-It's got to be here. I heard him talk about it. He bragged about it. Six steps out, three left.
-This is good. This is real good. This is so good they might not even charge us with murder when they catch us. They'll probably just lock us up for being idiots.
-If it isn't here, why would he wear that stupid key?
-You're calling Jake stupid? You!?
-There's easily a hundred-thousand in there. More than that.
-If you want.
-Let's go in the bedroom.
-Let's do it here.
-What about him?
-You got a suitcase?
-Never needed one. I've never been anywhere. I've got a backpack.
-Get it, and put the money in it. Pack up anything else you want to take with you.
-Where are you going?
-To get my car.
-Wait. What about . . . him?
-John!? What the hell's the matter with you?
-I . . . nothing. I just stubbed my toe on a rock. Hurt like hell . . . that's all.
-I got the money all packed. I put the jeep in the garage. Figure that way people will think maybe me and Jake went away. Might buy us some time.
-Yeah. Good thinking.
-Had push it in. Funny thing; it wouldn't start.
-John . . .?
-Sheriff Potter, please. I can't go to jail. I wanted no part of it.
-One-hundred-thousand dollars. A little more.
-Damn you! What did you do that for? He can't prove anything.
-That's all talk. He's got nothing on us. He let you kill Jake.
-Not me. Us.
-It doesn't matter. He was there and he let it happen. He can't take us in.
-Give him the money.
-What?
-You heard me. Count it out.
-He can't prove anything, John. He can't turn us in.
-I shot him.
-You killed him!
-He was going to take the money.
-Thirty-thousand, that's all. We would have been free and clear. You didn't have to kill him.
-You're crazy, you know that!? You're fucked up!?
-Jesus, Grace. Did you have to kill him?
-He was going to--
-I know. He was to take the fucking money.
-You're tense. What are you all uptight about?
-Is that the kind of girl you think I am? What can I do to make you relax?
-Well, nothing.
-Now what?
-Now we dump Jake, split the money, then you're on your own.
-But you said we could be together.
-Are you kidding? I'm not going down with you for killing a cop.
-What difference does it make? You killed Jake.
-<u>We</u> killed Jake. And it's a big difference. You kill an old man, that's one thing. Nobody cares about an old man. You kill a cop and they never stop looking for you. Never.
-He was a crooked bastard. He would have killed us.
-The police don't know that. And it's going to be hard to explain it to them with a noose around your neck. I'll take you as far as California. If we can even make that. After that I'm cutting you loose.
-But I want to say with you,
-Why? So when the cops catch up with us you can try and sell me out again? You take your hald of the money and run. You might want to try Mexico. With all that dough you'll live like a queen.
-I don't want to go to Mexico, John. I want to be with you. Don't you think I care about you?
-John!
-Are you all right?
-I think I busted my leg.
-I can't make it. Grace? Grace!?
-I'm here.
-Grace, listen to me. In the trunk of my car is a rope. It should reach down here. Got get it, throw it down and I'll climb up.
-John! Can you hear me? Are you still there?
-Where the hell am I going to go?
-John, throw me the keys.
-What for?
-The trunk. It's locked.
-It's not locked. I left it open when I took out Jake's body.
-It's . . . it's locked.
-You closed it, didn't you, Grace?
-I was going to back the car to the ridge and pull you up.
-Bullshit, Grace. You were going to drive off and leave me here.
-No. I swear it.
-And you're not one to lie, are you?
-Throw me the keys and I'll pull you up.
-John, if you don't throw me the keys, then I'll just walk away. Walk away and leave you here.
-Walk to where? We're fifty miles to the nearest town. It's going to be over one-hundred degrees today. How far do you think you're going to get?
-Someone will find me.
-Yeah, they'll find you. Dried up and twice dead.
-You idiot! You'll kill us both!
-At least I'll have company when I die. Ain't that right, Jake?
-For Christ's sake, John! Throw me the keys!
-What do you say, Jake? Should we trust her? No? I didn't think so.
-Who the hell are you?
-I'm her husband.
-Husband . . .?
-Now who the hell are you, and it better be good, or God help me I'll break you in half.
-I . . I was helping your wife. I met her in town. She needed a hand with her drapes. That's all.
-Didn't much look like you were hanging drapes.
-I swear to you that's all that happened. I haven't so much as set foot in your bedroom.
-A lot that means.
-I have half a mind to--
-What happened to your hand?
-Accident.
-You've got to be--
-Yeah, I know. More careful.
-I guess we've never been introduced proper. Jake McKenna.
-Jake McKenna. That's a solid name.
-I'm a solid man.
-John Stewart.
-What brings you to Sierra?
-My car overheated. I pulled in to have it fixed.
-Where you headed?
-I've got to make a stop in Vegas, then I'm heading to Santa Barbara.
-Live there?
-Got work. I know a man who's got a boat. Wants me to sail it for him.
-You a sailor man? That'd be the life. Drive across the country, step on a boat and just sail away. A man could pretty well disappear like that. Just sail away until all he was was a memory. I guess a little place like this would just be a dot on a map to you after awhile.
-I hope so. Listen, Mr. McKenna, about your wife: If I had known she was married--
-It wouldn't have made a difference to you, now would it? Not a wit. Do you know why? Because you're a man without scruples.
-Wait a second--
-Hey!
-She does at that. I knew when I married her she was a free spirit. A woman with her looks and a man my age; what was I to expect? But you see a woman like that in a town like this and you don't think, you do. So, I married her. What are you to do, eh? Women.
-I bet she led you on good, didn't she? Taking you up to the house with that smile of hers. Bet she wiggled her ass in your face more than once. Then me busting in like some wild bear. Bet you had a fire going under you.
-Like you don't know.
-Would you?
-Would I what?
-Why would I kill her?
-I'm not a murderer, Mr. McKenna.
-How do you know if you've never tried?
-Good Lord. What happened to you?
-Just ran into a little trouble.
-Another accident? You've really got to be more careful. Can I get you a drink?
-No.
-Hungry?
-No.
-I'm surprised to see you. I thought you'd be halfway to Vegas by now.
-I had a problem getting my car back.
-Nice office you've got.
-I do all right. Real estate isn't a bad game such as it is around here. The trick is to underestimate the price when you buy it, and overvalue when you sell. You can turn a few dollars that way.
-Now what can I do for you?
-I was hoping we could talk.
-Talk? About what?
-About things. About your wife.
-Sweet Grace? What about her?
-You said you had an insurance policy out on your wife. Fifty-thousand dollars.
-I do.
-You said you'd cut that up with the man who did her in.
-I did?
-Don't play simple with me, Jake. You want me to spell it out for you? I'll kill Grace if you cut me in on the money.
-I think this heat's getting to you the way you're rambling on.
-I'm not rambling.
-You're talking like a mad man.
-You're the one who brought it up. This morning. In your car.
-That was just loose talk. I don't want anybody dead.
-Bullshit. You wanted me to kill her.
-A man doesn't always mean the things he says.
-You meant it.
-What makes you say that?
-Because I think you're a slimy bastard who would have his wife killed just to get his hands on some money.
-And what does that make you?
-Let's say I do want her dead. What is it you want? This morning you weren't a killer.
-This morning I didn't know how badly I'd want to get out of this fucking town.
-And for that you'd kill Grace?
-For that I'd kill a nun on Easter Sunday.
-Just to get out of here? That doesn't seem much for a murder.
-How do you put a price on murder?
-I put it at fifty-thousand dollars, minus your cut, of course. Which is?
-Make it twenty.
-Twenty-thousand? I don't have that kind of money. I won't get the insurance until months after she's dead. I don't imagine you'll want to be around after poor Grace's demise. Twenty-thousand; that's more money than I could ever get my hands on.
-How much could you get?
-Maybe . . . ten-thousand. And that's a maybe.
-I need thirteen.
-That's a bit much.
-You drive a hard bargain, but I had a feeling you were my boy when I met you.
-I'm not your boy, Jake. I don't like you, and I don't like what you are. I got no choice but to do business with you. This is just a nasty little marriage of convenience.
-Don't say that. I had a marriage of convenience with Grace, and look where that's lead. Well, looks like we got ourselves a pact.
-Do we shake hands?
-I guess I might as well get this done with.
-The sooner it's over, the sooner you're on your way. Now listen to me: It's got to look like an accident; that's the thing. If it doesn't, then it's no good. I won't get a dime, and it's my neck that'll be on the chopping block while you're living it up somewhere.
-What should I do?
-How the hell should I know? I've never had a wife killed before. I guess I should have hired a professional.
-You want to do this yourself? I don't have to do this, you know.
-This is what you do: Go to the house to see her.
-I went to your place. We talked, just like you told me. We drove out into the desert . . .
-Is the job done?
-No.
-You didn't kill her?
-The time wasn't right.
-You're out in the desert, the middle of nowhere with no one around for miles, and you say the time wasn't right? What's the matter? You were hoping to get it on home video? A keepsake for the grandkids. Thank God I waited, or I never would have gotten it on tape.
-You know what I mean.
-I know all right. I know you're just enough of a shit to have a go at bedding a man's wife. You've probably bagged a few at that. You'd probably lie, cheat and steal without thinking twice. From that you'd just turn and walk away. But to kill; to get that blood on your hands. You can't wash that off. You'd be a marked
-You know so much about killing why don't you do it yourself?
-I guess I have what you'd call a love-hate relationship with Grace.
-You love her, but you hate her?
-I hate loving her. I hate the kind of her person she is. I hate having to tolerate the little games she plays. I hate letting her use me. But I love her too much to do otherwise. And I certainly love her too much to kill her. I couldn't stand to watch her eyes roll back in her head as she sucks her
-Shut up.
-Came close this time and it scares you.
-Drop it, Jake.
-And next time, next time somebody is going to get dead.
-Jake, how much were you going to pay me to do the job?
-Thirteen-thousand dollars. Had you done it. Isn't that what we agreed on?
-You think that's a lot of money?
-All I have in the world.
-Maybe not this time, but somebody's going to get dead around you.
-Yeah, well, me too.
-Trouble with the car again?
-You could say. I don't even have it yet.
-Darrell giving you problems?
-He did more work on the car. He wants fifty bucks extra for it.
-Fifty dollars more. That's a lot of money when you don't have a dime. And where'd you plan on getting the money from? Maybe you thought you'd pay your friend Jake McKenna a visit.
-It's not like that.
-Maybe you heard old Jake's got some money stashed away and you thought you'd help yourself to a little.
-Wait a minute. Just listen to me--
-You thought you'd come in here in the middle of the night and wham! Wail off and clock old Jake McKenna and turn his brains into wall paper.
-Jake--
-And then with Jake out of the way you could borrow two-hundred dollars. Or maybe two-thousand. Or twenty-thousand. Who's to stop you? Not Jake McKenna, 'cause old Jake would be dead.
-That's not the reason I'm here. I swear it.
-There's another reason? It better be good.
-I came for Grace.
-You came to take my wife from me?
-I came to kill her.
-Liar.
-It's the truth, Jake.
-That's a thick change of heart.
-Yeah, well, a couple of hours ago I just about killed some guy over a girl. Not for money, for a girl. And she was just going to stand there and let it happen, or let him kill me. Same way Grace played us this morning. I don't like that, Jake. Not twice in one day. And maybe I'm so pissed I'd twist the
-That's a lot of talk. A whole lot of talk.
-I'm curious about something. I'm wondering just how it is you happen to know where the bedroom's at.
-Wh . . . what are you talking about?
-This morning when I came in on you and Grace, you swore you hadn't so much as been near the bedroom. Now you make straight for it.
-Come on, Jake--
-Don't Jake me, boy! It's a big house. Odd that you would know your way, except maybe you've been in the bedroom before. Maybe with Grace to keep you company.
-Nothing happened with me and Grace this morning.
-Then maybe this afternoon. When I sent you to kill my wife you ended up sexing her instead.
-Christ, Jake, please--
-Is that what happened? Did you even make it out to the desert, or did you just ply the afternoon between my sheets?
-You're not talking sense.
-Sense? If I had any sense I would have killed you this morning and been done with it.
-What are you . . . you can't . . . you can't kill me.
-A drifter, a loner, a trouble maker like you? Just passing through town, need money so he busts in on an, old man. Only this old man's got himself an automatic, and he knows how to use it. A man's got to protect his home. His wife. You're dead, boy, and your own mother wouldn't convict me.
-What difference does it make if I slept with her. You don't care about Grace.
-You're right. I don't give a damn about her. But to fuck a man's wife behind his back? That just makes a fool out of him. I don't like being made a fool of.
-I don't blame you. What man would? I admit it, okay? I came back here and I made it with Grace. But if you kill me you're making a big mistake.
-Not from where I stand.
-It's not me you have to worry about. It's her. She wants you dead, Jake. She wants you dead and she wants your money.
-What are you babbling about?
-You'd tell me anything to save your pathetic life.
-You know what kind of woman Grace is. You know how badly she wants to get the fuck out of Sierra. What makes you think when you were planning on killing her she wasn't doing the same for you? What's she to you, Jake; a woman who would have you dead? Let me kill her. All I want is two-hundred dollars to get out
-Two-hundred dollars.
-I asked you a question.
-Aw, Toby, we weren't doing nothing. We was just talking.
-Honest, Toby. I just asked him for a quarter for the jukebox.
-I want to stay.
-Toby! Toby Tyler, leave him alone!
-Hey, Mister. You gotta quarter?
-What?
-What happened to your hand?
-Accident, and yeah, I got to be more careful.
-Got any requests?
-That country shit all sounds the same to me.
-You like Patsy Cline? I just love her. How come, I wonder, she don't put out no more new records.
-She's dead.
-Gee, that's sad. Don't that make you sad?
-I've had time to get over it.
-You're not from around here, are you? Where you from?
-Oz.
-You ain't from Oz. Oz is in that one movie.
-Hey, Mister. Mister. I just. . . I just wanted to thank you.
-For what?
-For defending my honor this afternoon.
-I hate to bust your bubble, but I wasn't defending you.
-But you was going to fight for me.
-I wasn't going to fight for you. I was just going to beat the shit out of your boyfriend.
-He's not my boyfriend. I mean, I let him take me out and stuff, but I ain't spoken for. Not yet that is.
-Get it through your head, little girl; I'm not going for you. If this Toby likes you, then if I were you I'd marry him. You're not going to get much better in this town.
-That's what I thought until you came riding in. I saw your car over at the gas station. It's cool. Want to take me for a ride? Desert's kind of lonely this time of day.
-How old are you?
-Eighteen. Well, I'm gonna be eighteen in two years, but that don't mean you can't take me for a ride if you want.
-You're too late, Toby. We're going to get in his fancy car and ride off and leave you behind.
-What the hell are you talking about?
-Toby Tyler, it don't matter to me if you beat him all up and knock out all his teeth and he's just drooling and bleeding all over hisself, 'cause we love each other and we gonna run off, and I'm gonna have his love child.
-Don't be afraid of him none. I don't care what he does to you, we can still be together.
-I wasn't doing anything.
-That's not the way it looked to me. Looked to me like you was trying to make time with her.
-Look, pal, I wasn't making a play for your girl.
-You expect me to believe that?
-I don't care what you believe as long as you leave me alone.
-Mister, I'm calling you out.
-You're fucked.
-You know who I am? Toby N. Tyler. My friends call me TNT. You know why?
-They're not very imaginative?
-'Cause I'm just like dynamite. And when I go off somebody gets hurt.
-Fine. I was making time with your girl. Now I'm all scared, and I'll never make that mistake again. Now go away.
-Not before I settle with you.
-Christ, I don't believe this.
-Stand up.
-I wasn't hitting on your girl!
-Mister!
-That's right, Mister. You better be afraid. I told you it wasn't over, but you didn't listen. Now I find you sneakin' around with my girl behind my back.
-Oh, that tears it, Mister. I'm gonna bust you up but good. I'm gonna bust you into a million pieces and then . . . and then bust those pieces up, and then . . . and then spread them all around. That's what I'm gonna do. You don't know what you're dealing with, Mister. I'm crazy. I'm psycho crazy.
-Get up, Mister! Don't ever let it be said Toby Tyler beat the living shit out of someone without giving them a fair chance.
-What the hell are you doing? Are you crazy?
-I'm doing what any man would do if he'd been offended. I'm beating you up.
-You stupid punk! You don't even know what you're fighting over!
-Now, what's this?
-Give it to me!
-Mexico? You're going to Mexico?
-I'm leaving. You never have to see me again. Just please, give me the ticket!
-Nooo!
-John, what a surprise. I expected to be seeing you, not talking to you over the phone.
-That's a shame, John. A real shame.
-You don't know the how, Mr. Vesci. And that's not the half of it. I've got your money, and I go into this little grocery store to get something to eat and it gets robbed.
-Let me guess. This robber; he gets your money.
-No. He gets shot by the old lady.
-The old lady?
-With a shotgun. It kills him, and it shreads the money. I mean, what are the odds?
-You're the gambler. You tell me.
-Let me get this straight: You owe me thirteen-thousand dollars, you call me - collect - then ask me to wire you one-hundred-fifty dollars just so you can get your car fixed.
-A hundred-forty-five really.
-Do you understand me you little fuck?
-Yes, Mr. Vesci.
-Fucking kid. And look at you; breaking fucking pencils. You're a Neanderthal.
-Kids.
-Yeah. What are you going to do? That Toby's a hot head.
-He is at that. No so much a fault of his own. Poor boy had quite a trauma as a child.
-What happened?
-His father worked in a strip mine north of here. Toby's school class went up to the mine one day. School takes field trips up there every year. Big day for the kids when they can see ore tore up out of the ground. Anyway, on this particular day Toby's dad up and falls into the machinery.
-Jesus!
-Yep. Tore him up good and spat out little, refined pieces of him. Nothing like the embarrassment of having your father refined in front of your classmates to put the anger in a young man.
-I guess.
-Saw you at the truck stop this morning. You're not from around here.
-No, sir. And I'm not going to be around long if that's what you're worried about.
-Just curious. That's a nasty cut you've got.
-Not as bad as it looks.
-There was a young man over at Jamilla's today when it got hit. Way she tells it he got whacked around by one of the robbers.
-Wouldn't know anything about it.
-That's too bad. I was hoping you were there. Maybe you could help us catch the guy who got away. Or maybe you could explain about all that money that got tore up when Jamilla shot that biker.
-Wish I could help, Sheriff. But if you'll excuse me I'm going over to Harlin's to pick up my car. Then I'm getting the hell out of this place.
-Stay as long as you like, son. No rush.
-Nice night for a drive. Morning really. I guess that's about the only way to keep cool; riding around with the top down on a fancy convertible in the first hours of the day.
-Not taking a drive, Sheriff. Heading out of town.
-Suppose you've had all you can of Sierra. What with that ruckus you had with Toby. Oh yes, I heard all about that.
-Sheriff, he didn't give me any choice. If I hadn't defended myself- -
-Just cool down, son. I ain't accusing you of anything. Serves Toby right to get his ass whooped. If you hadn't done it, somebody else would've.
-Is there a problem up the road, Sheriff?
-Why don't you step out of the car, son?
-I don't understand what the--
-Just step from the car. Nice and slow.
-Now step around to the back of the car and open the trunk for me.
-What for?
-I think you might just want to do as I say.
-There's nothing in the trunk, Sheriff.
-You bitch! You were in on it froom the start!
-Shut up! The both of you. Ain't neither one of you too smart. Especially you, boy. Don't you think I had my eye on you since first you rolled into town? You smell like trouble. Stink of it like a ripe cesspool.
-I didn't do anything.
-That's what this is all about? A shakedown? You picked the wrong people. We don't have any money.
-What'd you think, boy? That you were the first man to drift through this town she came on to? Not by a long shot. You're just the most gullible. How much did you get?
-Thirty-thousand dollars.
-Nobody's going to hang. We're all gonna walk away with a little something. I ain't a greedy man. And, hell, you did all the work. One-hundred-thousand dollars. Split that three ways and it comes out to about thirty-three thousand. Give or take.
-Got any cold soda?
-Eh?
-Soda. You got any soda?
-Hablar slowly, por favor. My ingles no es bien.
-I call the policia.
-No police.
-But, Senor--
-No police! Wait until I'm gone.
-Senor, you need a doctor.
-Hey! You there!
-You want something, old man?
-Don't call me old man. Ain't you got no respect, boy?
-You want something?
-Yeah I want something. I want you to run over to that machine and get me a pop.
-You can't do that yourself?
-Hell no, I can't do that myself. I'm blind. Can't you see that?
-I'm sorry, I didn't--
-What'd you think I was doing out here with these glasses on? Sunnin' myself?
-I don't know. I thought you were keeping the sun out of your eyes.
-I ain't got no eyes. You want to see?
-Christ no!
-Lost my eyes in Vyee-et-nam. Lost them fighting the commies. Fought the war and lost my eyes fightin' the commies just so you can come around here and make fun of me.
-I said I was sorry.
-Don't be sorry. Just run over there and get me my pop before I die of thirst.
-Yeah, sure. You got change?
-Change? You want my change? I fought the war and lost my eyes just so I could give you my change?
-Don't forget to open it for me. I can't be opening my own bottle.
-I think you'd better give your pooch a sip. He looks sick.
-Oh, Jesus.
-I hope you wasn't pettin' him none, was you?
-What the hell are you keeping a dead dog around for?
-He's only just dead. What was I supposed to do with him? I can't take him away anywhere. And nobody wants to take him for me. Do you?
-Hell no!
-You sure seen a lot for a blind man.
-Just 'cause I ain't got eyes doesn't mean I can't see.
-Maybe I do.
-Or maybe you just think you do. Just another small town. One guy chasing you. You go big town. Just gonna have four guys after you instead. Kiss kissy kiss. It gets down to one thing -- are you a human being or are you one of those hungry ghosts out there never satisfied with nothing? Cause you gotta remember you can run just
-I think I've heard that before.
-What do you want for free?
-You sure got a lot of philosophy, old man.
-Seems like I do but only cause end of the day we're all eyes in the same head. And everything is everything.
-What?
-Cocksucker motherfucker! Cops. I hear you. Always sneaking around. Thinks I can't see him. Well he's right. Motherfucker. But that ain't mean I don't know what's going on around here. They're all cursed. Yes sir.
-Who's cursed?
-I thought you said you lost your eyes in the war?
-So now you're going to tell me where I lost my eyes. You don't think I know where I lost my eyes? I was there when I lost them. I lost them in the war. The war in the joint. There's always wars in the joint. Cause I was a code talker in the joint and in the war too. Mmmm, nothing like the
-Musta been some bad ass nuclear tests here in the 50's. This town's all inbreeding.
-Well, people gotta get by somehow. That's the curse. The mines done it. All that uranium, plutonium, fuffonium, fuckononium, assononium, all that "om"! Everybody's got a mother. You don't rip up your mother. You don't rip up the Earth and take everything out. It's like the Cracker Jack box says, "the more you eat, the more you want...."...
-...But ain't you got a little something for the infirm?
-I'm a little short Pops. I'll catch you next time.
-Ain't over yet. Night is part of day; separate, but equal. Night is when you let your guard down; when you see things in the shadows and hear things in the dark.
-Difference between you and me, old man, is I see the glass half full, you see it half empty.
-Night is when you want to sleep, but the dry heat keeps you tossin' and turnin'. It's when you wish the sun was bakin' high in the sky so you could see what it is you're afraid of.
-You afraid of the dark?
-Afraid of it? Boy, I live in the dark. All cause of a woman who made me this way. People are afraid of what they can't see. I can't see nuthin', so it's all the same to me. Kiss from a beautiful woman, kissy kissy kiss, a lick from a dog, slurp, slurp, the kiss of death . It's all the same to me.
-So, we're all just floating along like twigs in a stream, so enjoy the ride. Is that it?
-More or less.
-Not this twig, friend. I got plans.
-Nothing makes the Great Spirit laugh harder than a man's plans. We all got plans. I planned on seeing all my life. I know you didn't plan on straying into town.
-No and I don't plan on sticking around either.
-Well, don't say I didn't warn you when things go your way.
-Time's up. Any last words of wisdom?
-You <u>are</u> crazy, you know. Be seeing you, old man.
-I wasn't doing anything.
-That's not the way it looked to me. Looked to me like you was trying to make time with her.
-Then maybe you should've. Look, pal, I wasn't making a play for your girl.
-You expect me to believe that?
-I don't care what you believe as long as you leave me alone.
-Mister, I'm calling you out.
-Let's see...they're not very imaginative?
-'Cause I'm just like dynamite. And when I go off, somebody gets hurt.
-Fine. I was making time with your girl. Now I'm scared to death and I learned my lesson. Now can you go away?
-Not before I settle with you, chickenshit!
-Christ, I don't believe this!
-Stand up.
-I wasn't hitting on your girl!
-Mister!
-That's right, Mister. You better be afraid. I told you it wasn't over, but you didn't listen. Now I find you sneakin' around with my girl behind my back.
-Oh, that tears it, Mister. I'm gonna bust you up but good. I'm gonna bust you into a million pieces and then ... and then bust those pieces up, and then ... and then spread them all around. That's what I'm gonna do. You don't know what you're dealing with, Mister. I'm crazy. I'm psycho crazy.
-I'm doing what any man would do if he'd been offended. I'm stompin' your ass.
-You idiot! You don't even know what you're fighting over!
-Now, what's this?
-Give it to me!
-Mexico? You going to Mexico?
-I'm leaving. You never have to see me again. Just please, give me the ticket!
-Who the hell is this!?
-Who the hell are you?
-Now who the hell are you, and it better be good, or God help me I'll break you in half.
-Easy, chief. I... I was helping your wife. I met her in town. She needed a hand with her drapes. That's all.
-Didn't much look like you were hanging drapes.
-I swear to you that's all that happened. I haven't so much as set foot in your bedroom.
-A lot that means.
-You can't just walk in here and walk out, you sonufabitch! I'm gonna tear you a new asshole!
-You broke my nose!
-What the fuck do you want?
-After you huffed off, Grace lied so bad, I got so pissed off, I pulled down her pants to paddle her ass raw and finger-fucked it instead. Sorry I lost my cool like that. It's a funny thing, women.
-Yeah...
-Say, what happened to your hand?
-Accident.
-You've got to be--
-Yeah, I know. More careful.
-I guess we've never been introduced proper. Jake McKenna.
-That's a solid name.
-I'm a solid man.
-Bobby Cooper.
-"Bobby Cooper." What brings you to Superior, Coop?
-An overheated car.
-Oh? Darrell taking good care of you?
-California...
-Live there?
-Got work. I know a man who's got a boat. Wants me to sail it for him.
-You a sailor man? That'd be the life. Drive across the country, step on a boat and just sail away. A man could pretty well disappear like that. Just sail away until all he was was a memory. I guess a little place like this would just be a dot on a map to you after awhile.
-I hope so. Listen, McKenna about your wife: If I had known she was married--
-It wouldn't have made a difference to you, now would it? Not a wit. Do you know why? Because you're a man without scruples.
-Wait a second--
-Hey!
-She does at that. I knew when I married her she was a free spirit. A woman with her looks and a man my age; what was I to expect? But you see a woman like that in a town like this and you don't think, you do. So, I married her. What are you to do, eh? Women.
-"You can't shoot 'em!" I like that. I bet she led you on good, didn't she? Taking you up to the house to hang drapes. Oh that's a good one. Bet she had you hard as a rock wiggling her ass in your face. I bet you just wanted to pull down her pants and hog her out. Then me busting in like some
-Like you don't know.
-Would you?
-Would I what?
-I've done a few things but I'm not a murderer, Mr. McKenna.
-How do you know if you've never tried?
-What can I do for you, lad?
-I was hoping we could talk.
-Talk? About what?
-About things. About your wife.
-Sweet Grace? What about her?
-You said you had an insurance policy out on your wife. Fifty-thousand dollars.
-I do.
-You said you'd cut that up with the man who did her in.
-I did?
-Don't play simple with me, Jake. You're a betting man. You want me to spell it out for you? I'll kill Grace if you cut me in on the money.
-Boy I think this heat's getting to you the way you're rambling on.
-I'm not rambling.
-You're talking like a madman.
-Well then, I guess that qualifies me for citizenship in this town. You're the one brought it up. This morning. In your car.
-Oh, that was just loose talk. Husband gettin' pissed off. I don't want anybody dead.
-Bullshit. You wanted me to kill her.
-A man doesn't always mean the things he says.
-You meant it.
-What makes you say that?
-Because you're a slimy bastard who would have his wife killed just to get his hands on some money.
-And what does that make you?
-Well, I guess I have what you call a love-hate relationship with Grace.
-You love her, but you hate her?
-How much could you get?
-Maybe ... ten-thousand. And that's a maybe.
-I need thirteen.
-That's a bit much.
-You drive a hard bargain, but I had a feeling you were my boy when I met you.
-I'm not your boy. I don't like you. I got no choice but to do business with you. Let's just call this a nasty little marriage of convenience.
-If you can't trust the man you've hired to kill your wife ...? The thing is it's got to look like an accident; that's the thing. If it doesn't, then it's no good. I won't get a dime, and it's my neck that'll be on the chopping block while you're living it up somewhere.
-How do you want it?
-How the hell should I know? I've never had a wife killed before. Jesus Christ! <u>You</u> want this job, you don't know how to do this? I guess I should have hired a professional.
-You want to do this yourself? I don't have to do this, you know.
-Come to think of it, how 'bout some money upfront?
-Oh yeah sure. Why don't I buy you a plane ticket right out of here while I'm at it. I <u>know you</u>... This is what you do: Go to the house to see her.
-...I don't know. Tell her you had to see her. Tell her you don't care if she's married or not, you had to be with her. Sweet talk the woman. A young buck like you must be good at that. Then ... maybe shift the conversation. Get her thinking about that jeep of hers. She loves that thing. Maybe the only thing she does
-Next time you'll do just fine.
-That's my gun... That fucking Darrell!
-I guess this is what they call "ironee"? Hunh?
-It's not what you think, Jake.
-No, but it don't matter anyway when you're lying there with your brains all over my carpet and I'm telling Sheriff Potter about this drifter, didn't have enough money to fix his car. And Darrell happened to find his gun, and through maybe this drifter heard old Jake got some money stashed away, and figgered he might try to break in and steal it!
-Wait a minute. Just listen to me...
-I came for Grace.
-Shhh! Liar.
-It's the truth, Jake.
-That's a thick change of heart from this afternoon.
-Maybe I don't like being played, like she played us today. Maybe I don't like that at all, Jake. I'm just pissed enough, maybe I'll rip the neck off my own grandmother.
-You have a lot of talk in you, whole lot of talk.
-How the hell did you know where the bedroom's at?
-Come on, Jake --
-You'd tell me anything to save your pathetic life.
-You know what kind of woman Grace is, Jake. You know how badly she wants to get the fuck out of Superior. What's she to you, Jake; a woman who wants you dead? Let me kill her. All I want is two-hundred dollars to get out of here with.
-Two-hundred dollars?
-Hey, Mister. You gotta quarter for the juke?
-What?
-What happened to your hand?
-I cut it shaving; I know, I gotta be more careful.
-Got any requests?
-That country shit all sounds the same to me.
-You like Patsy Cline? I just love her. How come, I wonder, she don't put out no more new records.
-Cause she's dead.
-Gee, that's sad. Don't that make you sad?
-I've had time to get over it.
-You're not from around here, are you? Where you from?
-Oz.
-You ain't from Oz. Oz is in that movie.
-Hey mister. Mister, I just... I just wanted to thank you.
-For what?
-For defending my honor this afternoon.
-I hate to bust your bubble honey, but I wasn't defending you.
-But you was going to fight for me.
-I wasn't going to fight for you. I was just going to beat the shit out of your boyfriend.
-He's not my boyfriend. I mean, I let him take me out and stuff, but I ain't spoken for. Not yet that is.
-Get it through your head, little girl; I'm not going for you. If this Toby likes you, then if I were you I'd marry him. You're not going to get much better in this town.
-That's what I thought until you came riding in. I saw your car over at the gas station. It's a cool car. Want to take me for a ride? Desert's kind of lonely this time of day.
-How old are you?
-Eighteen... Well, I'm gonna be eighteen in two years, but that don't mean you can't take me for a ride if you want.
-You're too late, Toby. We're going to get in his fancy car and ride off and leave you behind.
-What the hell are you talking about?
-Toby Tucker, it don't matter to me if you beat him all up and knock out all his teeth and he's just drooling and bleeding all over hisself, 'cause we love each other and we gonna run off, and I'm gonna have his love child.
-Don't be afraid of him none. I don't care what he does to you, we can still be together.
-You Harlin?
-Nope. Darrell.
-Harlin around?
-Will he be back soon?
-Doubt it. He's dead. The Look Out's a cemetery.
-You own this place?
-Yep.
-Then why do you call it Harlin's?
-'Cause Harlin used to own it.
-But he's dead.
-You want to take a look at my car? I think the radiator hose is--
-Look, Harlin, I've got places to be.
-Darrell--
-So?
-It's your radiator hose. It's busted.
-I know it's busted. What did I just tell you?
-Well, you know so much why don't you just fix it yourself?
-If I could do you think I'd be standing here wasting my time. Can you fix it, or do I have to go somewhere else?
-Somewhere else? Mister, somewhere else is fifty miles from here. Only other gas station down in town closed 3 years ago when the mine got shut...
-Okay, I'm stuck. You happy? Now can you fix it, or not?
-Yeah, I can fix it.
-Great!
-Gotta run over to the yard and see if I can find a hose like this one, or close enough. Gonna take time.
-How much time?
-Twenty-after-ten.
-Jesus. Twenty-after-ten and it must be ninety already.
-Accident.
-You got to be more careful. Hands is important. Let me show you something. When I was a kid, now I don't know if you can still see it, but I gashed my fingers in a lawnmower.
-I'm very interested in this but is there someplace...
-Diner up a piece. Not much, but us simple folk like it.
-Hey.
-Hey, your ... what the hell happened to you?
-Nothing.
-Don't look like nothing.
-Just banged my head. It was an accident.
-What the hell happened to my car?
-Well ... you got your parts, you got your labour ... let's call it a hundred-fifty bucks.
-How much!?
-Hundred-fifty.
-To replace a goddamn radiator hose!?
-A goddamn radiator hose in a sixty-four-and-a-half Mustang. You know how long it took me to find that hose?
-About an hour and a half, because that's all the longer I've been gone.
-Actually, it's been about three hours. You're the one thinks that car's so damn fancy. What you expect but fancy damn prices?
-That's a Ford, not a Ferrari. You going to tell me no one else in this shit hole drives a Ford?
-"That's not just a Ford, that's a sixty-four-and-a-half Mustang."
-What's that got to do with the radiator hose?
-I don't know, but "it's the reason I'm living here and you're just passing through." Now you owe me a hundred-fifty dollars.
-It might as well be fifteen-hundred dollars, because I don't have the money.
-Then you ain't gonna have the car.
-Then you're only a hundred-forty-five in the hole. You can keep that dollar. Now why don't you just take your American Express Gold Card, and call that guy with the big schnooz on TV and have him send you the money lickity split.
-I don't have a goddamn credit card.
-...got no day, got no date. Probably ain't worth a duck's fart . This one here cost me $3.75 and it's got every doodad you can imagine. No sir I'll stick with this .
-You son of a bitch! I'll have my lawyers shut you down.
-You ain't got no credit card but you got a lawyer. Sweet talk me all you want. Didn't you read the sign? It says...
-What sign? Fuck the sign. I want my car.
-Hey there. I was beginnin' to think you wasn't comin' back... You don't look so good.
-Yeah, well, I've been around the bend a bit.
-One of those days you feel like you been runnin' in circles and you ain't no closer to where you tryin' to get than when you started?
-You've been there?
-Hell, I've had days I would gladly trade with a whippin' dog. Ain't much you can do when you feel like that 'cept tough it out.
-You believe that?
-You think bad, and bad is what you get.
-That's a good piece of advice, Darrell.
-No charge.
-Listen, Darrell, about that hundred-fifty bucks for the car, as soon as I get where I'm going I swear I'll--
-Two-hundred.
-What?
-It's going to cost you two-hundred dollars.
-You said this morning the hose was going to run me one-fifty.
-Yep. For the hose. But while you was gone I replaced a gasket. That's going to run you another fifty.
-I didn't tell you to replace any gasket.
-Yeah, but it was shot.
-I don't give a fuck! I didn't tell you to do it! You can't just do unauthorized work.
-Well, now, you just know all there is about bein' a mechanic, don't you? Didn't you read the sign.
-What sign?
-The goddamn sign on the wall. I can't do unauthorized work? What am I suppose to do? Just let you ride out of here with a bad gasket. Then you get in an accident and get killed. Or worse. Who they gonna blame then? They gonna blame me, and there goes my reputation.
-What reputation? You're nothing but an ignorant, inbred, tumbleweed hick.
-Is that an insult? Are you insulting me.
-Listen you stupid fuck, I want my car.
-No! Okay! Okay!
-Look, Harlin.
-Darrell.
-What the fuck did you do to my trunk?
-Well, that key's not gonna work. I had to pop the lock. You didn't leave me the trunk key.
-And you had to go into the trunk, didn't you?
-What you want?
-Open up!
-What the hell ... oh, it's you. Might've figgered. Listen I got a waitress coming over. What do you want?
-I want my car.
-Two-hundred dollars in hundred-dollar bills. And this morning you was broke.
-That's none of your business. Get the keys.
-I don't want no dirty money. I run an honest business.
-All I got's a hundred, Darrell. You got change?
-No.
-Got any cold soda?
-Eh?
-Soda. You got any soda?
-Hablar slowly, por favor. My ingles no es bien.
-I call the sheriff.
-Can I give you a hand, beautiful?
-I'm just going to my car?
-That's right on my way.
-My mother told me never to accept offers from strangers.
-My name is Bobby. Now I'm not a stranger anymore. See how easy it is for us to get to know each other, beautiful?
-Do you have to call me that?
-I don't know your real name.
-Maybe, but if you didn't I think you would have kept on walking.
-You're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?
-I like that about me, beautiful.
-It's Grace.
-Jesus.
-You sure you can manage?
-I got it.
-No, I've got it.
-What happened to your hand?
-Accident.
-It's very nice of you to help me. That package is kind of heavy, and it's so hot.
-Wasn't nothing.
-Oh, this isn't my car. It's down a ways. I should have parked closer. I just didn't think it would be so heavy. I could drive up.
-Thank you, Bobby.
-You're welcome, Grace.
-You're not from around here, are you?
-Why you say that? Just because I help a lady with her package?
-You don't have that dead look in your eyes like the only thing you live for is to get through the day.
-I just drove in this morning.
-Drove into Superior? What for?
-Didn't have a choice. My car overheated up the road.
-You're lucky you didn't break down in the desert. Day like today, you'd be dead in no time. When you leaving?
-Not until my car's fixed. I don't know how long that's going to take.
-Where you coming from?
-All over. Chicago, Houston, Detroit. Just lately Dallas.
-You've been around.
-I guess I've got wander in my blood.
-Where you headed?
-I don't know. I have to make a stop in Vegas. Business to finish. Then maybe I'll head to Santa Barbara. I might be able to pick up some action there.
-So, what is it you do, Mister...?
-Cooper. Bobby Cooper. Oh you know, whatever pays best. Little bartending, used to teach tennis, played a little competition ... .
-I never played tennis. You just travel around Bobby-- no direction, no steady work. You must like taking chances.
-If you're going to gamble, might as well play for high stakes.
-What happens when you lose?
-That's good. Cools you right off. I saw you watching me.
-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
-I didn't say it bothered me.
-Did you like it; me watching you?
-I guess. I've got an ego same as any man.
-Nice place.
-Must get kind of lonely for a woman living by herself in a big house.
-I guess it must.
-What do you do anyway?
-A little of this, a little of that. Mostly I tell fortunes.
-Where'd you learn to do that?
-From my father. He was the tribe's shaman.
-A medicine man?
-Those are white words, not ours.
-Nice house for a shaman's daughter. You must be good.
-My face tell you all that?
-It tells me what every face tells me. Everybody has a past, they have a pain, and they have something they want. What is it you want?
-There. All done. Lift me down.
-What?
-You can let go of me now. I'm safe. How do they look?
-Like you.
-I like them. I was sick of looking at this room. I think they add a little life.
-No more drapes to hang. Now what should we do?
-I have an idea.
-You flirt with me, then you run cold. You lead me on, then slap me down. I don't go for being jerked around.
-I think I can find my own way back to into town.
-Maybe I like to find out about a man first. Maybe I like to know what he's made of.
-You never did answer my question.
-Still playing?
-That's not an answer. What is it you want?
-You know what I want.
-Yeah, well I said I was an idiot. Whatta you say we get out of here, take a drive somewhere, talk...
-How do you know he's still not here?
-Are there snakes out here?
-They hear you comin'. They won't bother you. Just don't sneak up on 'em.
-Doesn't the isolation bother you?
-Yeah, but I like the sun. I grew up on a reservation. The sun, the desert; they like a religion to us. Jake's the same way. He loves the desert. I guess we're alike that way. That's about the only way.
-You love him?
-No.
-Did you ever?
-Depends on what you call love. I grew up on a reservation. A patch of desert in the middle of nowhere. That's where they stick Indians, Bobby. That's where they leave us to die. My brother killed himself when he was 19 cause he couldn't take it anymore. There's no hope there... Jake was my ticket out. Mom and me.
-Is that why you're with him?
-I let him think he was courtin' me, but I reeled him in like a fish on a line. I wanted him. I wanted what he could give me, and I would've done anything to get him. Is that love?
-I'm guessing no.
-Yeah, I guess you're right.
-I take it things didn't much work out the way you planned.
-All this nothing? It doesn't get to Jake like it gets to me. He says he don't mind being nothing but a big fish in a small pond. More like a little fish in a dried up watering hole.
-You could leave him.
-I don't know how.
-Walk away.
-It's not that easy. Maybe you can take chances; maybe you can wander around like some stray wherever you please. I can't. I don't want to be alone. I need to know I'm going to be taken care of.
-You need a meal ticket is what you mean. Some guy you can latch onto just long enough for him to get you out of here.
-What's the matter?...Grace?
-Nothing.
-Get out of town, Bobby, as quick as you can.
-Grace, I've been fucked over too many times, by too many women. You're becoming the queen of hot and cold.
-You'd never understand.
-Try me.
-It's just such a mess. With Jake I mean...
-You mean the Shaman?
-Yeah.
-After he got his divorce, he forced me to marry him...but when I saw her body, I swore to her on my soul that some day I'd get Jake for what he did to her...
-I'm sorry...
-Yeah. What do you want. Life, right? Have you ever been to California?
-Oh yeah. It's far, it's another world.
-Is it pretty?
-Please. I won't hang on you. As soon as we get there you can dump me. I don't care. I just want to get out of here.
-Honey, baby, I <u>can't</u>. I can't even get out of here <u>myself</u>. Believe it or not, I need a lousy hundred and fifty bucks to get my car back from that crazy mechanic...
-Darrell? You know he and Jake are...
-You don't have any money put away, do you?
-Jake never gives me more'n twenty bucks at a time, like a bird in a cage, he don't want me goin' anywhere...
-Where?
-Jake hides it. In a safe. In the floor. In the bedroom. He counts it. He loves to sit there and count it.
-What do you mean?
-In <u>cash</u>?
-Oh yeah. There's nothing else with Jake. He don't trust banks. He keeps the money in the floor right under the bed. He loves it so much, he wouldn't think of spending any of it on me. I never seen it but I know he's got more than a hunnert thousand at least...
-It takes a key. He keeps it on himself all the time. I mean <u>all the time</u>. It scratches up against me when we do it.
-If the key's on him, how do we get the key?
-I can't kill, Grace. I can't kill anybody.
-I wanted to talk.
-I don't think we have anything to talk about.
-What about us?
-There is no us, remember?
-Except I can't get you out of my head, Grace.
-Stop it.
-Why? Am I making you hot, or does the truth scare you?
-Because I know you're full of shit.
-I mean it, Grace. I'm getting out of here, and I want to take you with me.
-I thought you couldn't get your car.
-I could if I had Jake's money.
-Is that what changed your mind? The money?
-Are you sure?... About me, I mean?
-I came back for you; this morning I came back. Before I even knew about the money. You're what I want. The only reason I stormed off is because you spooked me talking about Jake. But I've had nothing but time to think about it. It keeps coming back to you and me and us getting the hell out of here. But we've got
-You said you couldn't kill anybody.
-Grace ... Grace?
-The money's right here! Get the key!
-Bobby? What the hell's the matter with you?
-I ... nothing. I just stubbed my toe on a rock. Hurt like hell.
-I got the money all packed. I put the jeep and his caddy in the garage. People'll think maybe me and Jake went away. Buy us some time...I know a back road we can take.
-Good thinking. What's all this?
-I can't see it.
-Hey! Take it easy. Want to get us killed?
-You don't know what it feels like to be free of that place.
-I don't know about that?
-You spent a day in Superior. I wasted my entire life there. I feel like someone just took a million pounds off my shoulders.
-We've still got some dead weight to get rid of.
-Can't we just dump him fast someplace?
-I want a place where only the vultures will find him... It'll be over soon, Grace.
-Then will you take me on your friends' boat with you?
-I'm not sailing his boat.
-But I thought --
-We're going to buy a boat of our own baby, and sail it wherever we want to go.
-Anywhere?
-What the hell? Why not? Where should we go?
-Hawaii. I've read all about it. I've dreamed of going there and just lying on the beach while the water licked up against my feet. Oh, God. I'd kill to go there.
-You know I thought you'd left me back there.
-Get real Bobby. He was gonna kill you <u>and</u> me.
-He was in love with you Grace. He would've done what you wanted, you could've made a deal and ...
-The only deal he had in mind was killing you for Jake's murder and blackmailing me into sucking his dick for the rest of my life... no thanks.
-He was a <u>cop</u>, Grace, they never stop looking for you when you kill a cop...
-So, aren't you going to ask me?
-Ask you what? You mean what kind of horrifying sick shit is coming next?
-Don't you want to know...? I bet it's burning a hole in your brain just now?
-Let it go, baby. It's the past. I got a past...
-Why?
-No Grace, my hand's bothering me.
-Don't you think I would've done it if I wanted to? What can I do to make you relax, baby?
-I think nothing happens. You're dead meat. That's it.
-You don't believe in anything do you, Bobby?
-Well, nothing. We dump Jake, we split the money, then you're on your own.
-Don't leave me. I want to say with you, Bobby.
-Why? So when the cops catch up with us you can sell me out again?
-I was just baiting him! Bobby, I had to tell him that to get his guard down. Just like you told Jake you was going to kill me!
-When you're finished with me, I'm next! I been there, baby. I been there with other cunts...sorry, not anymore. I'll take you as far as California. If we can make that. After that you're on your own. Try Mexico. With all this bread, you can live like a queen.
-I don't want to go to Mexico, Bobby! Please, I really want to be with you. Don't blow this. Don't you think I care about you?
-Time to go for a walk, Jake.
-My mother died in this canyon.
-Hope is a four-letter word.
-Thank you. Thank you. I...I knew you wouldn't leave me, Grace.
-Bobby? Are you all right?
-I busted my leg!
-Can you make it back up?
-Why's that?
-And I love you too.
-<u>Jake</u>...
-Morning, officer.
-Where ya goin'?
-Harlin's.
-Seen you popping up a little bit of everywhere today. You're not planning on staying are you?
-No, sir. I'm not going to be around long if that's what you're worried about.
-That's a nasty cut you got there.
-Yeah, fell down and hit a rock. Not as bad as it looks.
-There was a young fellow over at Jamilla's today when it got hit. Way she tells it he got whacked around good by one of the robbers.
-That's a shame, Bobby. A real shame.
-And that's not the half of it, Mr. Arkadin...
-"Arkady"
-Right, Mr. Arkady. And that's not the half of it. I got your money, and I go into this little grocery store in this hicktown to get something to eat and then... well, it gets <u>robbed</u>!
-...And let me guess. This robber -- he gets your money.
-No. Two of them. Two robbers. And they <u>both</u> get nailed... get shot by the old lady.
-The old lady?
-Mr. Arkady, honest, I ad to beat it outta there before the cops showed. So now I don't have a cent to my name. I can't even get my car out of the garage. I tell you, Mister... if it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have nay fuckin' luck at all, you know? So, I was wondering if you could wire me a
-Which you don't have.
-Yeah, if you could send it care of...
-...Now, let me get this straight. Two years you give me problems with your fuckin' payoffs. Now you owe me thirteen-thousand dollars, you call me - collect - then ask me to wire you one-hundred-fifty dollars just so you can get your car fixed.
-A hundred-forty-five would probably cover it.
-What'd you say to me!
-I need a ticket.
-Where to?
-Out of here.
-But, in particular?
-I ... Mexico. You got a bus that goes to Mexico? That's where I have to go.
-Mexico is a large country. Where in Mexico would you like--
-How about Ciudad Juarez? You could take a local, arrives in two hours, and transfer in Albuquerque. It'll get you across the border.
-How much?
-One way, or round trip?
-One way.
-Twenty-seven, fifty. That's all I got.
-Keep your change. Bus three-twenty-three. Leaves at seven fifty two, tonight.
-You got a beer?
-What kind?
-Beck's.
-No Beck's. A-1, Coors...
-Heineken?
-No, we ain't got no Heineken. We got Miller.
-Genuine Draft?
-No. Just plain ol' Miller. Now you can fuckin' take it or you can fuckin' leave it.
-Shasta! Now why'd you go and scare the nice man like that? Sorry about that, mister. Let's see, you want $3.25. You try to have a nice day now, would you?
-My lord, that little baby of yours Virgil, has gotten cuter'n a bunny's nose.
-What was that all about?
-You know how that Toby is. Thinks every man he sees is after his Jenny.
-Let me get your change.
-Son of a bitch!
-Virgil! Now look at what you done! Are you all right?
-Morning Grace.
-Morning Sheriff. Got my drapes.
-Well, he offered, and I just couldn't refuse. His car overheated.
-Anybody hurt?
-You fuck this guy -- get him to do your dirty work and you think you can take the money and dump me?
-No baby, you got it wrong.
-I don't want the fuckin' money! I'm not gonna give up everything I got for a lousy 50,000 dollars. It's <u>you</u>. You <u>Grace</u> or nothing. The whole thing... I want you to be my wife.... What do you way Grace?
-Goddamnit Virgil, stop! Don't!
-Who was that on the phone?
-Wrong number.
-I put up new drapes, Jake.
-I know. I was here when your apprentice was helping you. Remember?
-You never said anything. About the drapes.
-They look nice.
-They look nice.
-What the hell you looking at, girl?
-Ya little bitch, you like it don't you! You like it this way -- rough and hard. Gotta go fuck around on me, like your Mama, but you always gotta come home to Daddy, don't you, cause you know Daddy's the best.
-Yes, yes, hit me...beat me, please.
-You been a bad girl, Grace. You took my heart from your Mama, didn't ya? You betrayed her! Like you did me. There ain't no forgivin' ya, girl!
-Oh no! Oh please forgive me, Papa!
-You broke her heart! You broke your Mama's heart. You stole me! That's right. Fuck it away. But it ain't ever goin' away, cause your Mama -- she's like a hungry ghost baby, she won't go away, she won't leave ya alone.
-What's the matter?
-You didn't hear something?
-Yeah, I heard a key slapping against my ass.
-Jake, don't go out there. Call the sheriff.
-Help me, Grace, help...
-I axed you a question.
-Aw, Toby, we weren't doing nothing. We was just talking.
-Honest, Toby. I just axed him for a quarter for the jukebox.
-I want to stay.
-Toby! Toby Tucker, leave him alone!
-Where's the fire sweetheart? Don't know how they work things in Nevada, but we got speed limits in this state.
-Whoa, what kind of accent you got there? You one of them Russians?
-I am Russian, da! I am also <u>rich</u> Russian, da? Maybe we work something out, my friend Sheriff?
-What's that? ..."concealed" is a definite no no in this town, Ivan. You know anything about Jamilla's grocery store?
-Get out of the car, spread them. You can jawbone all you want or you have the right to <u>shut the fuck up</u>! You commie motherfucker. Either way you're goin' to the can.
-Yes?
-Is Noel in?
-No sir he is not. I read about you in the paper.
-Oh.
-I was in an accident once too. A horse almost trampled me to death.
-Wow.
-Proceed.
-Is that the entire message?
-Wrap it up.
-Once again please?
-My son Jeb. It's a gift for him.
-How old is Jeb?
-Four.
-No, no, no, no no... You need to go now.
-What did I say?
-I'm listening.
-I'll keep it in my office room.
-What about Jeb?
-I don't think I got the job in New York.
-What does that mean?
-I'm still going to New York. Just not this second.
-I don't want to drag this out too long for Jeremy.
-Is Jeremy okay?
-He's asleep.
-I don't know. It's been a while.
-I haven't been sick this year. I know that.
-Okay.
-Do you remember me getting sick?
-Not a specific day. What's this about?
-...I can't remember.
-That's strange isn't it? Not remembering one fever... Or a cold... Or a sore throat. What do you think that means?
-Is that what you wanted to ask me?
-Yes.
-Is there anything else you wanted to ask me while I'm up?... When was the last time you wore pink? When was the last time you drank soup standing up? Final call for strange questions at two in the morning.
-When was the last time I wore pink?
-The Mitchell barbecue three years ago.
-Oh shit...
-I've come to a decision.
-Megan?
-Yes. Is this David?
-Yeah? Megan where are you calling from?
-I remember you.
-...When you work with clients on machines, do they sometimes just jump up a level or two? Do something they didn't know they were capable of?
-What do I do when I'm around someone I know?
-He's just laying in bed. He's pretty upset. He won't talk.
-Would you like to try going--
-Yes.
-Oh. Elijah Price came to visit me at the center today.
-He didn't do anything. He just told me his theory... It's sad when patients get like that. They loose reality.
-...I think rust.
-Rust?
-I didn't know that. Mine's still brown.
-My turn. What's your favorite song?
-Soft and Wet, by the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.
-What was that?
-Soft and Wet. That's very interesting.
-I'm not sure.
-Think carefully?
-What about the game?
-Maybe it wasn't a specific moment, maybe it--
-I had a nightmare one night and I didn't wake you up so you could tell me it was okay. I think that was the first time. Does that count?
-Why?
-I don't know Megan.
-You've never been sick?
-How certain are you that you haven't been sick in your life?
-Seventy-five percent.
-Seventy-five percent? That's not nearly good enough for me. I'm extremely skeptical.
-Skeptical about what?
-What's he talking about?
-In college. A car accident.
-I assumed because of the train.
-You forgot the "Now I'm going to tell you what the hell is going on" step. See usually that comes before the, "It's over" Step. And it always, always comes before the "You can go" Step. What is over?
-This city has had its share of disasters. Well publicized ones. It was around the time of that plane crash, when it first entered my head. And there it stayed, as I waited and watched the news over the years... And then one day I see a news report on a train accident and its sole survivor who was miraculously unharmed. And just like
-At the church... You were following me weren't you?
-What's this about? This is obviously some scam. Is this where you tell me one of those pictures is like an investment?
-You've misunderstood.
-It's for last week's game.
-What do you want?
-Not money. But I appreciate your healthy cynicism in the manner. It will be wise for both of us to proceed with greatest caution.
-We're not proceeding anywhere together.
-Why is it, do you think, that of all the professions in the world... you chose protection?
-Are you for real?
-Just give me a minute.
-Is there a problem?
-I got you a seat in the seven hundred level. It's nose-bleed territory, but at least you won't get spit on.
-How did you know that man you bumped was carrying a weapon?
-Probably the army jacket. Those guys carry hunting knives and stuff for show.
-I thought he was carrying something.
-But not a knife?
-You have good instincts when it comes to things like that?
-Like what?
-Yes.
-Have you ever tried to develop it?
-I don't know what you're asking?
-Listen. I got to be on the sidelines during the game... You can get to your seat by taking the stairwell at--
-Okay, I don't want to play this game anymore.
-It's an exaggeration of the truth. Maybe it's based on something as simple as instinct. Like being able to touch someone and tell whether they've done something wrong... Or the level of what they've done wrong.
-The guy might not have been carrying anything.
-I have to go now.
-Quick.
-I must have felt some lump in his back when I bumped him. Most guns have a black or silver handle. I had a fifty-fifty shot at the color.
-That's not what I witnessed David.
-Stop messing with my life Elijah. My son almost shot me last night. He wanted to prove you were right.
-I never said you couldn't be killed. I never said that.
-Are you finished?
-I am. I'm helping him with the sale.
-It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm David Dunne.
-He's spoken of you. He says you're becoming friends.
-He's doing well today.
-I'm very proud of him. He's been through a lot in his life. A lot of ups and downs, a lot of bad spells. A couple I'd thought had broken him... I mean emotionally. They were bad... But he made it. Yes he did.
-He's kind of a miracle.
-Dunne, it's Jenkins, we got a guy at gate 17C with a bogus ticket. Says he knows you. He won't tell me his name.
-What's he look like?
-He's got the most beautiful eyes... The hell kind of question is that? He's a guy.
-Send him packing. I'm not walking all the way over there.
-Yeah?
-When?
-Jeremy, why don't you go sleep with your mom?
-I want to sleep here tonight.
-I think it's be better if I was alone.
-I won't make any noise.
-He going pro in the draft. They say he can run the fifty--
-I'm going to go in.
-Just play one set of downs. I told them you were great.
-Why'd you do that?
-Just one--
-Jeremy. I'm going in. I have to do some things.
-What things?
-I'm going to work out.
-I'll help you.
-You think you could beat up Mike Tyson? I mean before he started wiggin out and eating people's ears?
-No.
-What if you worked out everyday for six months? You think you could beat him then?
-No.
-You put too much. That's two hundred and fifty pounds.
-No.
-I mean if you knew karate?
-No Jeremy.
-How much did you take off?
-How much is it?
-What do you do if something happens?
-How many did you put on that time?
-All of it.
-I'm sleeping in my room.
-I see.
-I'm not scared.
-That's great.
-I know now.
-Know what?
-YOU WON'T GET HURT...
-That was me they were talking about. I almost died. That was me.
-You're lying.
-I'll just shoot him once.
-Don't be scared.
-You like sports?
-It's my field. I represent athletes. I'm an agent.
-What a coincidence? I'm a male synchronized swimmer and I'm looking for representation.
-Is that right?
-You represent someone in Philadelphia?
-Not really.
-Yeah, hello.
-He doesn't look very threatening.
-How are you feeling?
-You are in the emergency room of the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. You were in a serious accident. How's your vision?
-Where were you sitting on the train?
-Against a window.
-In the passenger car?
-Yes. Where are the rest of the passengers?
-Was your family traveling with you?
-No.
-Did you get up from your seat?
-We're going to prevent any substantial atrophy of your good leg with this. It works the quadriceps.
-Twelve years.
-Now you're going to have to tell me more.
-...See my husband was a big football star in college and we were in an accident together. Our car flipped on an icy road. We were both injured. He couldn't play football anymore. If that hadn't happened, we wouldn't have been together.
-How so?
-Football wasn't the kind of life I wanted... For ten years I'd be by the phone waiting for a call telling me he broke his neck in a practice game. And if it wasn't that call, it would be a call telling me he blew out his knee or suffered his third concussion. I've seen way too much of it in my job... I
-You and my mother would have a special connection.
-Any way, fate stepped in and took football out of the equation.
-There have been three major disasters in this city over the last four years. I've followed each one of them... A Seven-three-seven crashes on take off. One hundred and seventy-two die. No survivors... A hotel fire downtown. Two hundred and eleven die. No survivors... And am Amtrak train derails seven and half miles outside of the city. One hundred and thirty one die. One
-Is this a religious thing?
-I own a comic book museum. It's called the Limited Edition.
-For a second there I thought you were a fanatic.
-No more sitting in this room. I've let it go on long enough.
-I'm not going out anymore. I'm not getting hurt again. This was the last time. I told you.
-...I got a present for you.
-Why?
-Well, go get it then.
-Where is it?
-She's gonna live. She didn't steal nothin', She didn't touch his poke.
-No?
-A whippin'? That's all they get? After what they done?
-Whippin' ain't a little thing, Alice.
-You... you ain't even gonna... whip 'em?
-I fined 'em instead.
-For what they done? Skinny gets some ponies an' that's...?
-Ain't you seen enough blood for one night? Hell, Alice, they ain't loafers nor tramps nor bad men. They're hard workin' boys that was foolish. Why if they was given over to wickedness in a regular way...
-If they was just here for the fuckin', how come they lit out the back window?
-You just kicked the shit out of a innocent man, you big asshole.
-Where'd you get the money, huh?
-We ain't got it. We ain't got no money.
-You told them cowboys you had it.
-We was... lyin'.
-Rain's coming.
-I didn't think they'd really do it.
-What did you think, they come clear up from Kansas to fuck us?
-That Kid... he's just a... boy. And that other one, Bill, being true to his wife...
-What wife? He don't have no wife.
-He said...
-Why, if you were to point a pistol at a King or a Queen, sir, I can assure you your hand would shake as though palsied...
-I wouldn't point no pistol at nobody, sir.
-Now this Strawberry Alice person, tell me again.
-Down the street and across. Greely's Beer Garden and Billiard parlor. Just ask for Alice and say you want a game of billiards.
-Billiards, eh? Even though I don't really wish to play?
-Don't matter. They burned the table in '78 for firewood.
-Where's Little Bill for Christ sake?
-Ha. He was building his fucking porch.
-He's coming ain't he?
-What'd he say?
-He didn't say nothin', huh?
-Asked what they looked like, that's all. Christ, maybe he's tough but he sure ain't no carpenter.
-We never seen him up against any... like these ones... killers.
-Little Bill come out of Kansas an' Texas, boys. He worked them tough towns.
-...wouldn't let you settle it, huh?
-I couldn't find no bullwhips, Bill. The German...
-He tell you where them others is?
-Nope.
-He give 'em names?
-Didn't give us nothin' but his own name... Ned Roundtree.
-I thought... you was an angel.
-Some big guy beat the shit out of me. I guess I must look a lot like you, huh?
-You don't look nothin' like me, mister.
-I didn't mean no offense. I guess you're the one them cowboys cut up. Ned an' The Kid, my partners, are they... ?
-They went out scouting when they saw your fever broke.
-Scouting?
-On the Bar T... looking for... them.
-Oh. How long I been here?
-Three days. Are you hungry?
-I thought I was gone. See them birds? Most times I wouldn't even notice them birds much. But I'm noticin' 'em real good 'cause I thought I was dead.
-I brought your hat. You... left it down at Greely's.
-Are you really going to kill them?
-Them other two, they been takin' advances on the payment.
-Free ones?
-Alice an' Silky gave them... free ones.
-Oh. Yeah.
-You want... a free one.
-I didn't mean... with me. Alice and Silky, they'll give you one... if you want.
-You're a beautiful woman an'... if I was to want a free one, I guess I'd want you more than them others. It ain't... See... I can't have no free one on account of my wife...
-Your wife?
-Yeah. See?
-I admire that, you being true to your wife. I've seen a lot of... of men... who weren't.
-Yeah, I guess.
-She back in Kansas?
-Hullo, Bob. Boys, this here is English Bob.
-Shit and fried eggs.
-Been a long time, Bob. You run out of Chinamen?
-Little Bill, I thought you were dead. I see you shaved off your chin whiskers.
-What I heard was that you fell off your horse drunk and broke your neck.
-I heard that one myself, Bob. Hell, I even thought I was dead til I found out it was just I was in Nebraska. Who's your friend?
-Books. He's my biographer.
-Not really... Maybe a couple of Peacemakers... I imagine you could overlook those, eh, Bill? If you didn't see them... or hear them?
-Charley, see what kind of "books" Mister Beauchamp is packing... but watch you don't get wet.
-You leave me at the mercy of my enemies.
-Mmmm pistols.
-We got one of them fuckers, Sheriff, out by Cow Creek, we...
-Alive?
-Hell, yeah. A bunch of us Bar T boys went out lookin' on account of them killin' one of our own. We come across this fucker on a roan goin' South an'...
-He admit it?
-No... but I guess he will soon enough. Had a Spencer rifle on him an' he was...
-Those cowboys messin' him up?
-Uh... a little, maybe.
-Shut up, Alice. Little Bill, a whippin' ain't gonna settle this.
-No?
-This here's a lawful contract... betwixt me an' Delilah Fitzgerald, the cut-whore. Now I brung her clear from Boston, paid her expenses an' all, an' I got a contract which represents an investment of capital.
-Property.
-Damaged property. Like if I was to hamstring one of their cow ponies.
-You figure nobody'll want to fuck her.
-She could maybe clean up around the place or somethin', but nobody's gonna pay good money for a cut-up whore.
-Hit your finger, huh?
-Huh? Hullo, Skinny. Snuck up on me. How do you like her?
-Heard you done the roof yourself.
-Roof? Jesus, Skinny, I done practically every damn thing myself. Roberts boy hauled wood, that's all.
-What's all that wood?
-Yeah?
-Them whores, they been fuckin' an' fuckin' all them cowboys that come into town the last two weeks...
-Shit, Skinny, we got railroad barons an' cattle barons, but you' re gonna be the first of the billiard barons.
-An' all them cowboys been riding that beef down to Kansas an' Cheyenne?
-Yup.
-All week?
-I didn't hear nothin' till last night.
-Word must have got all the way to Texas by now.
-Oh, shit, Bill, I guess nobody's gonna come clear from Texas.
-They really got all that money, them whores?
-You know how women kin lie... I knock 'em around a little, ask 'em where the money is, they say they don't have none?... but they coulda squirreled away that much, the five of 'em. Maybe.
-That much, huh?
-You could run off them two cowboys.
-I could run off them whores.
-Well, I guess they'll just up an' run anyhow, them two.
-Uh, no. No, I ain't drunk.
-Ordinance says you got to turn in your firearms to the County office day or night. I guess you didn't read it with the weather an' all.
-Well... uh... I... I ain't got no, uh, firearms.
-Them friends of yours in the back, they carryin' pistols?
-I... dunno. I mean, I guess not. No, they ain't carryin' no guns.
-You're spillin' your whiskey, mister.
-Like I said, I...
-What's your name?
-Well, Mister Hendershot, if I was to call you a no good sonofabitch an' a liar, an' if I was to say you shit in your pants on account of a cowardly soul... well, I guess then, you would show me your pistol right quick an' shoot me dead, ain't that so?
-I guess you just carry it for snakes an' such.
-Uh... yeah. Yeah.
-There ain't no snakes in here, Mister Hendershot.
-He should have armed himself if he was gonna decorate his saloon with the body of my friend.
-I guess you are Three-Fingered Jack out of Missouri, killer of women and children.
-I don't... deserve this... to die this way. I was... building a house.
-"Deserve" don't mean shit, Little Bill.
-You work for the railroads too, Mister Beauchamp?
-N-no. I wr-wr-wr-write... I wr- wrwrite...
-It's only a b-b-b-book...
-The... Duck of Death.
-That is you there, ain't it, Bob? The Duck of Death?
-Uh... It's... uh... generally considered desirable in the publishing business to... ah... take certain license in depicting the cover scene... for... ah... purposes involving the... ah, market place.
-Well, Mister Beauchamp... from what I read of this here book, I'd have to say the writin' ain't a whole lot different from the pitcher.
-Uh... I can assure you, Mister Daggett... the events described within are based... on the accounts of eye witnesses and...
-Meaning the duck himself, I guess.
-Duke.
-Duck, I says. "You have insulted the honor of this beautiful woman, Corcoran," said the duck. "You must apologize." But Two Gun Corcoran would have none of it and, cursing, he reached for his pistols and would have killed them but The Duck was faster and hot lead blazed from his smoking sixguns."
-I believe that to be an accurate description of the events, sir... albeit there is a certain poetry to the language which...
-Well, Mister Beauchamp, I was at the Blue Bottle Saloon in Wichita the night English Bob killed Corky Corcoran... an' I didn't see you there... nor no woman, nor no twogun shooters nor nothin' like that.
-First off... Corky didn't carry two pistols, though he should of.
-But he was called...
-Well, that bullet whizzin' by panicked Corky, an' he done the wrong thing! Pulled his gun in such a damn hurry he shot off his own toe. Meantime, Bob aims good and squeezes off another... but he's so drunk he misses again an' hits the thousand dollar mirror behind the bar. Well, now the Duck of Death is good as dead 'cause this time
-And?
-Bam! That Walker Colt blew up in his hand... which was a failing common to that model. Now if Corky would have really had two guns instead of just a big dick he could have defended himself to the end.
-You... you mean... English Bob killed him while...?
-But if the other fellow is quicker and fires first...
-He will be hurryin' and he will miss. That there is as fast as I can pull an' aim an' hit anythin' more'n ten feet away... unless it's a barn.
-But... if he doesn't miss?
-Them's the keys. All you gotta do is shoot me an' you an' English Bob can ride out free as birds.
-Is... is it... loaded?
-R-r-r-really? You r-r-really w- wwant...?
-"Well, Jim," I says, "it makes me sick to see a man struttin' around and packin' two pistols an' a Henry rifle and cryin' like a baby."
-Did you... kill him?
-I do not like assassins an' men of low character like your friend English Bob... but Bob ain't no coward who will cry to your face an' then...
-Uh... Sheriff... Uh...
-Huh? Oh. Another one, huh? Shit, I guess I'm clean out of receptacles.
-Maybe you should... hang the carpenter.
-What?
-I was watchin' you... seein' if you was followed.
-Ned's share?
-Yeah, he went South ahead of us. I guess we'll catch him before...
-He's... he's dead.
-No he ain't. He went South yesterday.
-They... they killed him. I... thought you know that. I thought you knew because...
-Who killed him?
-Little Bill. The... the Bar T boys caught him and Little Bill...
-He hanged him? Shot him down?
-N-no. He... he beat him up. He was making him... answer questions... and beating him up... and then... Ned just died. Little Bill didn't mean to kill him... he said he was sorry an' all... but he said it was a good example anyhow.
-Good example! Good example of what I'd like to know? He didn't even kill nobody... he couldn't do it no more.
-They got... a sign on him says he was a killer.
-A sign on him?
-In front of Greely's. It says, "This here is what happens to..."
-The questions Little Bill asked him... what sort of questions was they?
-About where you an' him was... an' where you was from... an' what your names was... an'...
-What'd Ned say?
-L-lies... at first. About how you was just passin' through and didn't kill nobody... an' Little Bill kept askin' questions, mixin' him up, catchin' lies... an' then he'd beat on Ned an' Ned would cry and lie some more an' then... then...
-Then... what?
-A cowboy come in sayin' you killed Quick Mike in the shit house at the Bar T...
-An' Little Bill killed Ned for what I done?
-He said how you was really Three Fingered Jack out of Missouri... an' Bill said "Same Three Fingered Jack that dynamited the Rock Island and Pacific in '69 killin' women and children an' all?" An' Ned says you done a lot worse than that, said you was more cold blooded than William Bonney or Clay Alisson or the James Brothers an' how if he
-Didn't scare Little Bill though, did it?
-N-no, sir?
-William Munny, yeah.
-You shot Charlie Pepper, didn't you? And you're the one killed William Harbey an' robbed the train over...
-You're Pete Sothow's nephew, huh? Hell, I thought maybe you was someone come to kill me... ...for somethin' I done in the old days.
-I could of... easy.
-Yeah, I guess so.
-Like I was sayin' you don't look like no meaner than hell cold-blooded damn killer.
-Maybe I ain't.
-He said that, huh?
-I'm a damn killer myself, only I ain't killed so many as you because of my youth. Schofield Kid, they call me.
-Schofield? You from Schofield?
-On account of my Schofield model Smith and Wesson pistol.
-Oh.
-Well, how about it?
-About what?
-Bein' my partner. I'm headin' North up around the Niobrara in Nebraska. Gonna kill a couple of no good cowboys.
-What for?
-For cuttin' up a lady. They cut up her face an' cut her eyes out, cut her ears off an' her tits too.
-Jesus!
-I ain't like that no more, Kid. Whiskey done it as much as anythin' I guess. I ain't touched a drop in ten years. My wife, she cured me of it... cured me of drink an' wickedness.
-Well... you don't look so prosperous. Hell, you could buy her a new dress out of your half. We could kill them two an' you could buy your wife one of them fancy...
-She's passed on, Kid.
-Huh?
-Been gone near three years now.
-Don't tell nobody about the reward an' all. Don't need no other gunmen tryin' to collect.
-I don't never see nobody anyhow.
-Well, we was. Like you said, I changed my mind an'...
-Well, now Kid, there's two of these cowboys, ain't that so? Better there's three of us... maybe them cowboys got friends. Maybe...
-Three ways, I figured.
-No.
-You're goin' back with him?
-What the hell are you pissin' about, I'd like to know?
-Huh?
-Well, what were you lookin' at anyhow?
-Now hold on, boys, hold on. Now, Kid, you kin see fifty yards, can't you?
-Bet your ass I kin see fifty yards an' I kin shoot this sonofabitch...
-Say, Bill. That business in Jackson County... did that really happen? I mean how they say it happened?
-What business?
-An' how there was two deputies up close pointin' rifles at you... had you dead to rights... an' how you pulled out a pistol an' blew them both away to hell... an' only took a scratch yourself. Uncle Pete told me he never seen nothin' like it, shootin' your way out of a scrape like that.
-Well... I don't recollect.
-Get some sleep, Kid.
-Finish him, Ned.
-He ain't dead? You didn't get him?
-Did you kill him?
-What happened? He ain't dead? What's goin' on?
-If he gets behind them rocks we ain't gonna get him... not without we go down there.
-Shit!
-Better re-load it.
-You missed him? You didn't...?
-He ain't killed.
-They takin' water?
-When we gonna double back?
-You're gonna lose your share. If you don't...
-It's gonna get riper yet.
-You still think he's in there?
-Yeah, he's in there.
-Well, he's holding on to his shit like it was money.
-He's in there.
-Tell me right off if you see him.
-Yup.
-You... you ain't gonna shoot him yourownself?
-Is it him?
-Did... you... get... him?
-Cover me, Kid, while I mount.
-I can't see 'em.
-Yeah, I guess so.
-Say, Bill...
-That was... the first one.
-First one what?
-First one I ever killed.
-Yeah?
-Well, that fella today, you shot him alright.
-Take a drink, Kid.
-It's a hell of a thing, ain't it, killin' a man. You take everythin' he's got... an' everythin' he's ever gonna have...
-Well, I gu-guess they had it... comin'.
-I trust you, Bill.
-Wha... what f-for?
-Lemmee see it.
-You... gonna take... the money?
-You could have it. All of it.
-I thought you wanted to buy spectacles an' fancy clothes an' all.
-This here money, take my share an' Ned's an' leave it with my youngsters. Tell 'em half goes to Sally Two Trees if I ain't back in a week. The rest is yours... you could buy them spectacles.
-Are you... Are you gonna... kill Little Bill?
-I guess you won't mind my keepin' the bottle.
-You're gonna kill him, ain't you?
-I... I... think I'm... shot.
-You ain't shot.
-P-p-p-please, I'm not armed. M-m-my G-god. You killed... Little Bill.
-You sure you ain't armed?
-I never c-c-carry arms. I'm... a writer.
-A writer? What do you write... letters an' such?
-B-b-books. You... you killed five men... singlehanded.
-Wh-wh-who did you kill first?
-Huh?
-Wh-wh-when confronted by superior numbers, the experienced gunfighter will fire on the best shots first.
-I was lucky in the order. I always been lucky killin' folks.
-Who was next? Clyde? Or was it...?
-We ain't bad men no more, Bill. Hell, we're farmers.
-Should be easy killin' em... supposin' they don't run off to Texas first.
-How long since you shot a gun at a man? Nine... ten years?
-Eleven.
-Easy, huh? Hell, I don't know that it was all that easy then... an' we was young an' full of beans. Bill... if you was mad at 'em... if they done you wrong... I could see shootin' 'em...
-We done stuff before for money, Ned.
-Well, we thought we was doin' it for money... What'd they do anyhow? Cheat at cards, steal some strays, spit on a rich fella?
-Cut up a woman. Cut her eyes out, cut her tits off, cut her fingers off... done everythin' but cut up her cunny, I guess.
-How long you gonna be, Bill?
-Two weeks, I guess.
-Three ways?
-Yup. You still got the Spencer rifle?
-He musta been movin' right along.
-Got used to my bed. Ain't gonna feel to home out here.
-Well, it ain't just the bed I'm gonna miss. I'm... Hell, Billy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...
-It ain't nothin', don't fret it. She don't like it much, you goin' off with me.
-Sally?
-She gave me the evil eye.
-It's just... she's a Indian an' Indians ain't... overfriendly.
-I ain't blamin' her, Ned, I ain't holdin' it against her. She knew me back then... an' she seen what a no good sonofabitch I was... an' she won't allow how I've changed. She just don't know how I ain't like that no more.
-Well, she...
-I ain't the same, Ned. Claudia, she... straightened me up, got me clear of the whiskey an' all. Us goin' to do this killin'... that don't mean I'm back to like I was. I just need the money... for a new start... for them youngsters. Remember that drover, the one I shot in the mouth so's the teeth come out the back of his
-You was a... a crazy sonofabitch.
-Nobody liked me... none of the boys. They was scared of me... figured I might shoot 'em out of pure meanness.
-You ain't like that no more.
-Eagle... he hated my guts. Bonaparte didn't like me none.
-Nor Quincy, I guess.
-Quincy, he was always watchin' me. Scared.
-You ain't like that no more.
-Say, Bill... You ever... ever go into town... an' all?
-Sure, I got to. Got to get supplies.
-Naw. Naw, I don't ever go into town for that. A man like me... A man like me can't get no woman but one he's gonna pay for... an' that ain't right... buyin' flesh. Claudia, God rest her soul, she wouldn't have wanted me doin' nothin' like that, me bein' a father, an' all.
-Whaddaya do, just use your hand?
-Some fucker's shootin' at us.
-Yeah.
-He hit you?
-He ain't shootin' our way no more. He's shootin' over that way. Who's he shootin' at over that way?
-Beats the hell out of me.
-You suppose maybe we're in somebody's field?
-HEY.
-You're marking us, Bill.
-HEY, KID.
-Kid? The Kid's shootin at us?
-IS THAT YOU, KID?
-Why would the Kid shoot at us?
-Now Ned's a hell of a shot with a rifle. Hell, he can hit a bird in the eye flyin'.
-Shit.
-Jesus.
-I give it up 'cause I hate sleepin' out in the air... fuckin' sticks in my food... an' fuckin' bugs in my food... an' fuckin' rocks under my back... Shit, I sure do miss my fuckin' bed.
-Yeah... you said that last night.
-I brung this for when we had to kill them fellows. I guess we could use some now.
-Not for me. I don't touch it no more.
-God damn it, Bill, it's rainin'.
-No.
-What he was talkin' about... how them deputies had the drop on you an' Pete...
-Yeah?
-I remember how there was three of them deputies you shot... not two.
-Well, I ain't like that no more, Ned. I ain't no crazy, killin' fool.
-You... you remember Eagle Hendershot?
-Huh? Uh... yeah.
-I seen him.
-He's dead, Bill.
-His head was all busted open so's you could see the inside.
-Jesus, Bill, you got fever. Take a drink, will you?
-Worms was comin' out.
-Claudia... ain't here, Bill.
-Ned... Is that you, Ned? Ned, I seen... death.
-Easy, Bill.
-I seen the angel of death Ned, an' I seen the river. He's a snake, he got... snake eyes.
-Who, Bill? Who got snake eyes?
-The angel... the angel of death. I'm scared, Ned. Ned, I'm gonna die.
-I seen her... I seen Claudia too...
-Well, that's good now, ain't it, Bill? Seein' Claudia an...?
-HOW MANY LEFT GODDAMIT?
-I'm goin' on down to Kansas.
-You want the Spencer, Bill?
-Me an' the Kid, we'll head over to the ranch an' as soon as we find him, we'll shoot him. Then we'll come back an' the three of us pick up the money an' head South together.
-Supposin' he don't go to the ranch?
-I'll bet anything he won't go to town nor he won't ride out on the range. Right off he'll hole up at the ranch.
-I ain't waitin', Bill. I'll look in on your youngsters when I get back.
-What is it, son?
-Who's he?
-Hullo, paw.
-I guess you lost some hogs to the fever.
-Three.
-That fella come by... Tom.
-Tom?
-The one you rode out after... the one that had the pistol...
-The Kid, yeah...
-He say anythin'... The Kid... ?
-Tom? Only how... how if you didn't... didn't come back in a week... how we was to take half the money to Sally an' say you was...
-Did you... did you... ?
-Did I what?
-All that money... I mean... did you...?
-Steal it? Naw, I didn't steal it.
-No... I meant...
-What?
-K-k-kill somebody?
-Who said that?
-N-nobody... only you took your shotgun an' that pistol an'...
-Before I met your maw, God rest her soul, it used to be I was kinda... wicked... drinkin' spirits an' gettin' into scrapes an' all. Only she made me see the error of my ways an'... I ain't like I was no more.
-I guess you didn't kill nobody then.
-What was you shootin' at us for, anyhow?
-Well, this here's Ned Logan... Ned, this here's the Schofield Kid, nephew of Pete Sothow an'...
-I was only checkin' it for you. Thought maybe somethin' was bent.
-Nothin's bent.
-Well, you was shootin' every which way an'...
-Clouds, Kid. We was lookin' at them clouds on account of we got a storm ridin' up our ass.
-You was right to change your mind, Kid.
-Yeah?
-Far enough.
-We ain't goin' to Nebraska on no turtle hunt. A hundred yards?
-More.
-See that scrub oak yonder?
-Fuck you.
-He's blind, for Chri...
-Say, Ned... ?
-Yeah.
-How many men you killed? Ain't you gonna answer?
-I don't like the question.
-Well, I gotta know what kind of fellas I'm ridin' with, don't I? In case of a scrape.
-How many you killed, Kid?
-Jesus. You done this before?
-His pistol must of jammed.
-Move the candle closer, I can't see.
-He didn't even pull his pistol, huh?
-He ain't as tough as you, Kid.
-Well, I guess I woulda at least pulled my pistol an...
-Shit, Kid, you pulled your pistol... right outta the lady an' out the back window.
-We're gonna need more food... at least three days worth...
-Three days? We could kill 'em tomorrow.
-I don't kill nobody without him.
-Depends what he told you. About Bill, you mean?
-All of it. About him, an' you an' Uncle Pete... about robbin' the Rock Island Pacific... an' about them Missouri Banks.
-We done that stuff.
-He's gonna die, ain't he?
-Maybe.
-Well, suppose he does?
-We'll bury him.
-That ain't what I mean.
-You mean, am I gonna help you kill them cowboys?
-I can't spot 'em myself but you could. That red-haired one, you could spot a half-mile off, I bet.
-An' if I spot 'em?
-I'll ride up close an' shoot 'em!
-Just like that?
-I told you I'm a damn killer. I done it before. I'm more killer than him.
-Yeah?
-Jack. What are you doing here?
-I've been looking all over for you. You still after the coke that walked out of that blood bath in the harbor?
-Yeah.
-There was ninety-one million -
-We know, but our man says no way on the dope. This Hungarian tells me the whole bunch was pulling stumps for Turkey the next' day. They had no time to negotiate that kind of product and no means to move it.
-What was the money for?
-He didn't know. No one doing the deal knew except a few key people. This guy says they were real hush about it. Whatever it was it was highly sensitive.
-I don't get it.
-They tell me you got the cripple from New York in there. He mention Keyser Soze
-Who ?
-A boy came across a body on the beach this morning. Thrown clear when the boat burned. Shot once in the head. Two guys from the F.B.I. just identified him. +
-Keyser Soze
-&lt;&lt;We were there to buy a man and take him back to Hungary.&gt;&gt;
-Not dope. Something else. Some what?.. He doesn't knob what they were buying. But not dope... people.
-&lt;&lt;No, no, no. I need a guarantee from the ridiculous man. I am going to be killed. I have seen the Devil and looked him in the eye.&gt;&gt;
-&lt;&lt;Keyser Soze. Keyser Sate. I've seen his face. I see it when I close my eyes.&gt;&gt;
-&lt;&lt;It was smaller than that. Sharper.&gt;&gt;
-+ The nose is sharper. Smaller too. + &lt;&lt;And what about the hair? You said something earlier about it.&gt;&gt;
-&lt;&lt;It is longer than that. And not so dark. &gt;&gt;
-&lt;&lt;Are you sure?&gt;&gt;
-&lt;&lt;Don't be stupid.&gt;&gt;
-Now remember, this is another kind of business. They don't earn your respect. You owe it to them. Don't stare them down but don't look away either. Confidence. They are fools not to trust you. That's the attitude.
-I'm having a stroke.
-...and the desk Sergeant is actually trying to tell me he can't release you? Can you believe that? You weren't even charged. New York police - Jesus. I want to take pictures of your face to bring to the D.A. first thing in the morning.
-I'11 have this thing in front of a grand jury by Monday.
-Edie, please. I don't want to hear this right now. What did Renault and Fortier say?
-They want more time to think about investing.
-Goddamnit.
-They just said they wanted time.
-Give me some credit. I got you this far, let's go to the grand jury. This is never going to stop if we -
-Don't give up on me now, Dean.
-They'll never stop.
-I love you.
-They ruined me tonight.
-Come home, Dean.
-That's enough, Edie.
-I don't know what you came here for, but we won't have any part of it.
-I know who he is.
-I hope I didn't disturb you.
-I hope so, too, Mr. Kint. Can I get you something to drink?
-So what is it you do, Mr. Kint?
-Umm ...
-I'd say you've gotten on his main and central nerve, McManus.
-Forget him. It's not important. I was trying to make a point.
-How many times have you been in a line- up? It's always you and four dummies. The P.D. pays homeless guys ten bucks a head half the time. No way they'd line five felons in the same row. No way. And what the hell is a voice line-.up? A public defender could get you off of that.
-So why the hell was I hauled in and cavity searched tonight?
-It was the Feds. A truck load of guns gets snagged, Customs comes down on N.Y.P.D. for some answers - they come up with us. They're grabbing at straws. It's politics - nothing you can do.
-Fuck you. I'11 never shit right again. So who did it? Own up.
-This is not right.
-Yeah. He said he did jobs for him. Indirect stuff. Always five times more money than the job was worth.
-Come on. The guy is a pipe dream. This Kobayashi is using him for window dressing .
-You're fuckin' A right, no P.C. Well screw P.C. No right. No goddamn right. You do some time, they never let you go. Treat me like a criminal, I'll end up a criminal.
-You are a criminal.
-I'm sure you can understand my hesitation.
-Then who goes?
-DON'T MOVE, YOU FUCKERS.
-Everybody I ever worked with, did time with.
-It's bullshit. This guy could be L.A.P.D. I think it's a setup.
-You heard right.
-He's alright.
-How do I know that? How about it, pretzel-man? What's your story?
-Why don't you just calm down'
-Keaton, we gotta go. They're gonna find him.
-It's a logistical nightmare. Close quarters, no advance layout, ten men, maybe twenty.
-Can we stealth these guys?
-I know you. You don't think I know you're on the take. This whole fucking precinct is dirty. You don't have a fucking leg to stand on.
-Roger really. People say I talk too much.
-What are we gonna do?
-Me too.
-Did you hear what he just said?
-We've met once or twice. Last time was in...
-County. I was in for fraud.
-You were waiting for a line-up then, too. What happened with that?
-How do you do?
-What the hell do you want?
-I wanted to talk to you. The other guys -
-I did you a favor by standing up for you last night, but don't think we're friends. I'm sorry, but I have other things -
-Get out.
-Don't hurt me.
-They - That's bullshit. They don't operate anymore.
-What fence? Who?
-Some guy in California. His name is Redfoot.
-You have to come.
-They - They don't know me. You do. They won't take me unless you go. Look at me. I need this.
-Tough break.
-You watch your mouth.
-I was out of line.
-You okay?
-I'11 be alright.
-Well, I'm sorry.
-How are they going to do it?
-McManus wants to go in shooting. I said no way.
-Fenster and Hockney?
-They're pretty pissed off. They'll do anything. Now I got a way to do it without killing anyone: but like I said, they won't let me in without you.
-Three million?
-Maybe more.
-No killing?
-We'll make it.
-Don't do this. Send her a card - something.
-What is it Keaton?
-What is this?
-What-are they speaking?
-Russian, I think. I don't know.
-Keaton, I can't just -
-I want you to find Edie. Both of you find some place safe. Tell her what happened - Everything. She knows people. She'll know what to do. If we can't get Kobayashi my way, she'll get him her way.
-What if I
-How are you, Keaton?
-Ready?
-Let's say for example -
-with what?
-You know damn well, dead-man.
-My employer requires your services. One job. One day's work. Very dangerous. I don't expect all of you to live, but those who do will have ninety-one million dollars to divide any way they see fit.
-Who's your boss?
-My employer wishes to remain anonymous.
-Don't jerk me off. We all know what this is. You don't work with me if I work with you without knowing who I'm working for. Now let's cut the shit. Who's the man?
-You set up the line-up.
-Mr. Soze made a few calls, yes. You were not to be released until I came to see you. It seems Mr. Keaton's attorney, Ms. Finneran, was a bit too effective in expediting his release. Holding the rest of you became a moot point.
-What about Redfoot?
-The answer is no.
-Mr. Soze will be most -
-Listen to me, cocksucker. There is no Keyser Sate. If you say his name again, I'11 kill you right here.
-Ahh, Mr. Hockney. Do join us.
-We know you can get to us, and now you know we can get to you. I'm offering you the chance to call this off.
-Mr. So- My employer has made up his mind. He does not change it.
-I am sorry, Mr. McManus. f implore you to believe me, Mr. Keaton. Mr. Soze is very real and very + determined.
-What did you say?
-No matter. Kill away, Mr. McManus.
-You're lying.
-We're on vacation.
-Take your time. Enjoy L.A.
-A friend of mine in New York tells me you knew Spook Hollis.
-I hear you did time with old Spook. Yeah, he was a good egg. I used to run a lot of dope for him. Fuckin' shame he got shivved.
-Better you hear it from me now than somebody else later.
-A little of both.
-Get a grip. I didn't know.
-The job got thrown to me by this lawyer.
-Who is he?
-Some Limey. He's a middle-man for somebody. He doesn't say and I don't ask.
-We want to meet him.
-He wants to meet you. He called last night and asked me to set it up. What do I tell him'
-What do you mean I can't see him?
-The D.A. came down here last night ready to arraign before they even moved him to county. Kint's lawyer comes in and five minutes later, the D.A. comes out looking like he'd been bitch-slapped by the boogey man. They took his statement and cut him a deal.
-Weapons. Misdemeanor two.
-When does he post bail?
-Two hours, tops.
-He won't go into the interrogation room.
-Someplace else, then.
-I know what I wanted to know about Keaton.
-Which is shit.
-No matter. He'll have to know how close we came.
-Keyser Sate or not, if Keaton's alive he'll never come up again.
-I'11 find him.
-Waste of time.
-A rumor is not a rumor that doesn't die.
-What?
-Even if I was to let you talk to him, he won't talk to you. He's paranoid about being recorded and he knows the interrogation rooms are wired
-No, no, no, no, no.
-If it was a dope deal, where's the dope, if it was a hit, who called it in?
-And I am sure you have a host of wild + theories to answer these questions.
-That's crazy, Dave and it doesn't matter. He has total immunity and his story checks out. He doesn't know what you want to know.
-His name was Arturo Marquez. A petty smuggler out of Argentina. He was arrested in New York last year for trafficking. He escaped to California and got picked up in Long Beach. They were setting up his extradition when he escaped again. Get this - Edie Finneran was called in to advise the proceedings.
-Verbal, you know we're trying to help you.
-Sure. And I appreciate that. And I want to help you, Agent Kujan. I like cops. I would have liked to have been a Fed myself but my C.P. was -
-Verbal, I know you know something. I know you're not telling us everything.
-I know you liked Keaton I know you think he was a good man.
-I know he was good.
-Sure. Fifteen years ago, but he was a good thief Anyway, the cops wouldn't let him go legit.
-You trying to get a rise out of me, Agent Kujan?
-According to your statement you are a short-con operator. Run of the mill seams. Everything you do, you learned from somebody else.
-That's been suppressed. Anything in there is inadmissible.
-Oh, I know. Sweet deal you have. Total immunity .
-Well I do have the weapons charge. I'm looking at six whole months hard time.
-You know a dealer named Ruby Deemer, Verbal?
-You know a religious guy named John Paul?
-You know Ruby is in Attica?
-He didn't have my lawyer.
-There's nothing in there about Ruby.
-The first thing I learned on the job, know what it was? How to spot a murderer. Let's say you arrest three guys for the same killing. Put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever is sleeping is your man. If you're guilty, you know you're caught, you get some rest - let your guard down, you follow?
-No.
-I'11 get right to the point. I'm smarter than you. I'11 find out what I want to know and I'11 get it from you whether you like it or not.
-Heartwarming. Really, I feel weepy.
-You wanted to know what happened after the line-up, I'm telling you.
-Oh come on, Verbal. Who do you think you're talking to? You really expect me to believe he retired? For a woman? Bullshit. He was using her.
-He loved her.
-That was all Fenster and McManus.
-You keep trying to lay this whole ride on t Keaton. It wasn't like that. Sure he knew, but Edie had him all turned around. r I'm telling you straight, I swear. +
-Let me tell you something. I know Dean Keaton. I've been investigating him for three years. The guy I know is a cold- + blooded bastard. L.A.P.D. indicted him on three counts of murder before he was kicked off the force, so don't sell me the hooker with the heart of gold. +
-You got him wrong.
-I don't know about that.
-I don't think you do. But you say you saw Keaton die. I think you're covering his ass and he's still out there somewhere. I think he was behind that whole circus in the harbor. My bet is he's using you because you're stupid and you think he's your friend. You tell me he's dead, so be it. I want to make sure he's
-He wasn't behind anything. It was the lawyer.
-You think I don't know you held out on the D.A.? What did you leave out of that testimony? I can be on the phone to Ruby Deemer in ten minutes.
-The D.A. gave me immunity.
-There was a lawyer. Kobayashi.
-Is he the one that killed Keaton?
-No. But I'm sure Keaton's dead.
-So this lawyer...
-Kobayashi.
-Came from Redfoot.
-Right.
-Do you believe in him, Verbal?
-I came clean. I told it like it happened on the boat. So what if I left out how I got there? It's got so many holes in it, the D.A. would've told me to blow amnesty out my ass. So you got what you wanted out of me. Big fucking deal.
-And this is why you never told the D.A.
-You tell me, Agent Kujan. If I told you the Loch Ness Monster hired me to hit the harbor, what would you say?
-I've got immunity now. What can you possibly offer me?
-If there is a Keyser Soze he'll be looking for you.
-Where's your head, Agent Kujan? Where do you think the pressure's coming from? Keyser Soze - or whatever you want to call him - knows where I am right now. He's got the front burner under' your ass to let me go so he can scoop me up ten minutes later. Immunity was just to deal with you assholes. I got a whole new
-So why play into his hands? We can protect you.
-That was how I ended up in a barber shop quartet in Skokie, Illinois.
-This is totally irrelevant.
-Oh, but it's not. If I hadn't been nailed in Illinois for running a three card monte in between sets, I never would have took off for New York. I never would have met Keaton, see. That barber shop quartet was the reason for everything.
-Can we just get back to Kobayashi?
-You're stalling, Verbal.
-Give a guy a break, huh?
-Then what?
-McManus was furious. He was talking about tracking him down and ripping his heart out and all sorts of shit. That night we got the call.
-What call?
-I wanted to. I thought we could make it.
-Why didn't you say anything?
-A man in a suit with a slim build. Tall.
-Wait a minute.
-Don't shine me, Verbal. No more stalling. You know what I'm getting at.
-I don't.
-TRY TO REEF LYING TO ME NOW. I KNOW EVERYTHING .
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-I don't understand what you're saying. I saw Keaton get shot, I swear to you.
-Then why didn't you help him?
-I WAS AFRAID, OKAY? Somehow, I was sure it was Keyser Soze at that point. I couldn't bring myself to raise my gun to him.
-But Keaton...
-He was a stool pigeon for the Justice Department. He swore out a statement to Federal Marshals that he had seen and could positively identify one Keyser Soze and had intimate knowledge of his business, including, but not exclusive to, drug trafficking and murder.
-I never heard of him.
-His own people were selling him to a gang of Hungarians. Most likely the same Hungarians that Sate all but wiped out back in Turkey. The money wasn't there for dope. The Hungarians were going to buy the one guy that could finger Soze for them.
-But Keaton had. Edie Finneran was his extradition advisor. She knew who he was and what he knew.
-I don't
-There were no drugs on that boat. It was a hit. A suicide mission to whack out the one man that could finger Keyser Soze so Sate had a few thieves put to it. Men he knew he could march into certain death.
-Verbal, he left you behind for a reason. If you all knew Soze could find you anywhere, why was he ready to send you off with the money when he could have used you to take the boat?
-He wanted me to live.
-Why did he want you to live? A one-time dirty cop without a loyalty in the world finds it in his heart to save a worthless rat-cripple? No, sir. Why'
-Edie.
-I don't buy that reform story for a minute. And even if I did, I certainly don't believe he would send you to protect her. So why?
-Because he was my friend.
-No...
-Keaton was Keyser Soze
-NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
-Edie...
-He used all of you to get him on that boat. He couldn't get on alone and he had to pull the trigger himself to make sure he got his man. The one man that could identify him.
-This is all bullshit.
-He left you to stay behind and tell us he was dead. You saw him die, right? Or did you? You had to hide when the first police cars showed up. You heard the shot, just before the fire but you didn't see him die.
-I knew him. He would never -
-If he's dead, Verbal - if what you say is true, then it won't matter. It was his idea to hit the Taxi Service in New York, wasn't it? Tell me the truth.
-I didn't know. I saw him die. I believe he's dead. Christ
-Why lie about everything else, then?
-You're not safe on your own.
-You think he's..?
-Is he Keyser Soze I don't know, Verbal. It seems to me that Keyser Sate is a shield. Like you said, a spook story, but I know Keaton - and someone out there is pulling strings for you. Stay here and let us protect you.
-I'm not bait. No way. I post today.
-You posted twenty minutes ago. Captain Leo wants you out of here a.s.a.p., unless you turn state's.
-I'11 take my chances, thank you. It's tougher to buy the cheapest bag-man than it is to buy a cop.
-Where are you going to go, Verbal? You gonna run? Turn states evidence. You might never see trial. If somebody wants to get you, you know They'll get you out there.
-My client offers his full cooperation in these proceedings. In exchange, his testimony is to be sealed and all matters incriminating to himself are to be rendered inadmissible.
-The district attorney's office will comply provided -
-No provisions, nothing. My clients testimony for his immunity.
-May-I be frank, Counselor? I suspect your political power as much as I respect it. I don't know why Mr. Kint has so many faceless allies in City Hall, and I don't care. The embarrassment he helped cause the city of New York will not happen here.
-Counselor, I will prosecute your client.
-I'11 take my chances then. I'11 feel safer without a job if a man like Mr. Kint is behind bars.
-Mr. Kint will plead guilty to weapons possession.
-You're joking.
-Weapons. Misdemeanor one.
-Counselor, you're insulting me.
-Mr. Abraham...
-Abrams...
-Abrams. Yes. How are you today?
-I'm fine.
-Good. You ever been inside a hospital?
-Yes.
-Why did he go to see Mary Rooney?
-She's the only nurse who isn't testifying for the Doctors.
-What did he find?
-Nothing.
-How good's your intelligence?
-Very good.
-And so what is the rest of his case aside from Dr. Thompson?
-He was accused of jury tampering.
-Accused. Not indicted. He resigned the firm. Divorced nineteen seventy. Galvin worked with Michael Morrissey until Morrissey retired in 'seventy-eight. Since then he's been on his own. Four cases before the Circuit Court. He lost them all. He drinks.
-Four cases in three years ...
-The man's an ambulance chaser ...
-... tell me about this case.
-This is a nuisance suit. He's looking for small change. He's asking for six hundred thousand and betting we don't want to go to court.
-No -- we don't want this case in court.
-Neither does he. That's where he loses. This man's scared to death to go to court. We only have to call his bluff.
-I want to settle this thing and be done with it. I don't want the Archdiocese exposed.
-No. Absolutely, and we're going to see that it is not.
-So what I want to do is stop it here. I'm going to make him an offer. I want to do it myself. I want it to come from me.
-If we were to go to trial, would we win the case?
-Well, of course, it's always dangerous ...
-I know that answer. If we went to trial would we win?
-It's a generous offer, Mr. Galvin... ...nothing can make the woman well...but we try to compensate...to make a gesture...
-How did you settle on the amount?
-We thought it was just.
-You thought it was just.
-Yes.
-Because it struck me how neatly 'three' went into the amount. Two Hundred Ten Thousand. That would mean I keep seventy.
-That was our insurance company's recommendation.
-Nothing that we can do can make that woman well.
-And no one will know the truth.
-What is the truth?
-What are you doing here?
-... here's your mail, call Mrs. Doneghy ...
-... yes. Get her on the phone ...
-... that was a Dr. David Gruber's office ...
-Gruber...
-... he wants to testify ...?
-It looks that way.
-You know what that would mean? To get somebody from a Boston hospital to say he'll testify?
-This is going to drive the ante up.
-That's the call that I'm waiting for.
-What does it mean?
-They want to settle. It means a lot of money.
-No, actually, she was referred to me. She was Dr. Hagman's patient...
-Whatever the `truth' is, let's hear that. You were her doctor.
-Yes.
-Say it.
-I was her doctor.
-You were the anesthesiologist at her delivery May twelfth, nineteen seventy...
-...I was one of a group of...
-Answer affirmatively. Simply. Keep those answers to three words. You weren't `part of a group,' you were her anesthesiologist. Isn't that right?
-Yes.
-You were there to help Dr. Marx deliver her baby. Were you not?
-Anything special about the case?
-Thank you. When Debby...
-Dr. Towler, who was in the operating room with you?
-Mary Rooney, the obstetrical nurse...
-What did these people do when her heart stopped?
-We went to Code Blue...
-`Code Blue,' what does that mean...?
-It's a common medical expression, it's a crash program to restore the heartbeat. Dr. Marx cut an airway in her trachea, to get her oxygen, her and the baby...Ms.Nevins...
-Why wasn't she getting oxygen...?
-Well, many reasons, actually...
-Tell me one?
-She'd aspirated vomitus into her mask...
-...and her heart stopped and she wasn't getting oxygen.
-That's right.
-And what did your team do...
-Well, we...
-...You brought thirty years of medical experience to bear. Isn't that what you did?
-Yes.
-...A patient riddled with complications, questionable information on her, on her admitting form...
-...We did everything we could...
-...to save her and to save the baby. Is that...
-Yes!
-You reached down into death. Now, isn't that right?
-My God, we tried to save her...You can't know...You can't know...
-Ed Concannon.
-Objection, we've...
-...to get her heartbeat back...?
-We've touched on this, his own witness has said...
-...almost nine minutes... causing brain damage.
-Objection!
-Dr. Thompson, just so the Jury knows, you never treated Deborah Ann Kaye. Is that correct?
-That is correct. I was engaged to render an opinion.
-Engaged to render an opinion. For a price. Is that correct? You're being paid to be here today?
-Just as you are, Sir...
-Are you board-certified in anesthesiology, Doctor?
-No, I am not. It's quite common in New York State...
-...I'm sure it is, but this is Massachusetts, Doctor. Certified in Internal Medicine?
-No.
-Neurology?
-No.
-Orthopedics?
-I'm just an M.D.
-Do you know Dr. Robert Towler...?
-I know of him.
-How is that?
-Through, through his book.
-What book is that?
-Meth...Methodology and Technique...
-...of Anesthesiology?
-`Methodology and Techniques of Anesthesiology.' Yes.
-How old are you?
-I am seventy-four years old.
-Uh-huh. Still practice a lot of medicine?
-I'm on the staff of...
-Yes, we've heard that. Doctor: you testify quite a bit against other physicians? Isn't that right? You, you're available for that? When you're paid to be there?
-Sir. Yes. When a thing is wrong...as in this case, I am available. I am seventy-four years old, I am not board-certified. I have been practicing medicine for forty-six years and I know when an injustice has been done.
-I did.
-Your Honor, Bishop Brophy and the Archdiocese have offered plaintiff two hundred and ten thousand dollars.
-Huh!
-Mr. Concannon...?
-Nothing further, your Honor.
-Objection! This is ri...expect us to accept a photocopy, we have the original right...
-No further questions.
-Thank you, your Honor. We object to the copy of the admissions form as incompetemt and essentially hearsay evidence and cite McGee versus State of Indiana, U.S. 131 point 2 and 216 through 25 of the Uniform Code: 'The admission of a duplicate document in preference to an existing original must presuppose the possibility of alteration and so must be disallowed.' And, your Honor,
-The document is disallowed, the jury will be advised not to consider the testimony of Kathy Costello regarding the Xerox form. It's unsubstantiated and we can't accept a copy in preference to the original...
-Thank you, your Honor. Further: Ms. Costello is a rebuttal witness. As a `Surprise Witness' she may only serve to rebut direct testimony. As her only evidentiary rebuttal was the admitting form, which has been disallowed I request that her entire testimony be disallowed and the jury advised that they must totally disregard her appearance here.
-You are aware of the penalties for perjury...?
-It's a crime.
-Yes. It is a crime. A serious crime.
-I wouldn't do it.
-You would not...?
-No.
-In fact, you've just taken an oath that you would not commit perjury. You've just sworn to that. Isn't that right?
-Yes.
-Just now...
-Yes.
-...sworn before God you would tell the truth?
-Yes.
-Now. I'd like to ask you something: four years ago, when you were working as a nurse, are you aware that Drs. Towler and Marx based their treatment of Deborah Ann Kaye on this chart that you signed . . . ?
-I . . ..
-And wasn't that an oath...? These are your initials here: K.C. When you signed this chart you took an oath. No less important than that which you took today. Isn't that right? Isn't that right...?
-I...yes.
-Then, please, which is correct? You've sworn today the patient ate one hour ago. Four years ago you swore she ate nine hours ago? Which is the lie. When were you lying?
-I...
-They lied.
-`They lied.' Indeed! When did they lie? And do you know what a lie is?
-I do. Yes.
-You swore on this form that the patient ate nine hours ago.
-That's not my handwriting.
-You've just said you signed it.
-Yes, I, yes, I signed it, yes. But I, I didn't write that figure.
-You didn't write that figure. And how is it that you remember that so clearly after four years?
-...what in the world would induce you to make a photocopy of some obscure record and hold it fouryears? This is a...why? Why would you do that?
-I thought I would need it.
-And why, please tell us, would you think that?
-Please sit down. I told your wife. I'm sorry that we have to meet out here. I've got a case coming in two days in the Superior Court and my office is a mess of papers.
-... that's all right.
-...the Archdiocese called up, they said who was our attorney, 'cause the case is coming to trial...
-I doubt we'll have to go to trial ...
-... we told them we didn't want it to come out this way.
-I completely understand ...
-What is this going to cost?
-You said you're gonna call me up. You didn't call me up. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are...?
-Hold on a second.
-It's all right, Mickey.
-You ruined my life, Mister...Me and my wife...and I am going to ruin yours... You don't have to go out there to see that girl. We been going four years. Four years...my wife's been crying herself to sleep what they, what, what they did to her sister.
-I swear to you I wouldn't have turned the offer down unless I thought that I could win the case...
-What you thought!? What you thought...I'm a workingman, I'm trying to get my wife out of town, we hired you, we're paying you, I got to find out from the other side they offered two hundred...
-I'm going to win this case...Mist...Mr. Doneghy...I'm going to the Jury with a solid case, a famous doctor as an expert witness, and I'm going to win eight hundred thousand dollars.
-If I could accept the offer right now, I would. They took it back.
-They gave her the wrong anesthetic.
-Why is that?
-Her sister said she ate one hour prior to admittance...she...
-...that's what the sister said. The chart said she ate nine hours prior to...
-...she went in complaining of stomach cramps. Good doctor would have doubted the information on the chart.
-Is that what a good doctor would do? How old are you, please?
-I am seventy-four years old.
-What qualifies you as an expert in anesthetics?
-I am on the staff of...
-Easthampton Hospital for Women. Excuse me, what is that, a joke? Let me tell you something, Doctor, those men at Catherine Laboure. Men who are known not only in this city, but the world, were trying to save a woman's life. They were there, and here you are, four years later, read some hospital report, and say...
-She getting good care over there?
-Actually, yes. It's by no means bad, I...
-Then what good would it do to ruin the reputation of two men, to help a girl whose life's not going to be changed in the least? You know what CODE BLUE means?
-'Code Blue'...
-Are you saying that a failure to restore the heartbeat within nine minutes in itself constitutes bad medical practice?
-I...in that small context I would have...I would have to say 'no.'
-Then you're saying there's no negligence, based on my question?
-I...given the limits of your question, that's correct.
-The Doctors were not negligent.
-Dr. Thompson...?
-I have some errands to run, and then I thought we'd spend the evening...
-That's what I'd planned to...
-I'm going to take you to the home to see the girl...
-From what I've seen, Mr. Galvin, you have a very good case...
-Yes. Yes. I think so. I hope you'll be comfortable. I'm putting you up at my...
-...I made a reservation at...
-...apartment. No, no. Please. You don't know who we're dealing with, I, please believe me, they...
-...What difference would...
-These people play very rough. They don't want to lose this case. There's a lot of pressure they can bring to bear, I...
-Dr. Thompson. From your review of the hospital records of May twelfth nineteen seventy-six. In your opinion, what happened to Deborah Ann Kaye?
-Cardiac arrest. During delivery her heart stopped. When the heart stops the brain's deprived of oxygen. You get brain damage. That is why she's in the state she's in today.
-Now, Dr. Towler's testified that they restored the heartbeat within three or four minutes. In your opinion is his estimate correct?
-I didn't do too well for you.
-No, you did fine.
-I'm afraid that's not true. Will you want me to stay on till Monday?
-No. No thank you, Doctor. You go home.
-You know...sometimes people can surprise you. Sometimes they have a great capacity to hear the truth.
-You sure you don't want me to stay on.
-Dr. Towler; page 406, 'Contraindications to general anaesthetic. Ideally a patient should refrain from taking nourishment up to nine hours prior to induction of general anaesthetic.' Does that sound familiar?
-'Practice and Methodology in Anaesthesia.' General textbook on the subject. Is that correct?
-I. Yes. It is.
-And you wrote that...
-Yes.
-...Page 414, 'If a patient has taken nourishment within one hour prior to inducement, general anaesthetic should be avoided at all costs because of the grave risk the patient will aspirate food particles into his mask.' Is that what happened to Deborah Ann Kaye? She aspirated into her mask?
-She threw up in her mask, yes. But she hadn't eaten one hour prior to admission.
-If she had eaten, say one hour prior to admission, the inducement of a general anaesthetic...the type you gave her... would have been negligent...?
-Negligent. Yes...it would have been criminal. But that was not the case.
-Dr. Gruber ...
-I appreciate--a man as busy as--
-I read the hospital report on your client.
-... Deborah Ann Kaye ...
-They called, they're going to settle, what I want to do is build up as much ...
-Right. Who called?
-The Archdiocese called, they want to settle ... her estate ...
-... and you're going to do that?
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Uh ... in the, well, in the interests of her family ... you, Dr. Gruber, you know, you can never tell what a jury is going to do. St. Catherine's a very well thought of institution. Her doctors ...
-Her doctors killed her.
-) I'm sorry ...?
-Her doctors murdered her. They gave her the wrong anaesthetic and they put her in the hospital for life. Her doctors murdered her.
-Do you know who her doctors were?
-I read the file. Yeah. Marx and Towler. I know who they were.
-The most respected ...
-The hospital is owned by the Archdioceses of ...
-Well, well, when can we meet again. I'd like to get a deposition..
-We have to ... we ... we have to keep you under wraps. Please don't, don't discuss ...
-I understand.
-Thank you ...
-... that's perfectly all right.
-Uh, why, why are you doing this?
-I'm Joe Galvin, I'm representing Deborah Ann Kaye, case against St. Catherine Laboure.
-I told the guy I didn't want to talk to...
-I'll just take a minute. Deborah Ann Kaye. You know what I'm talking about. The case is going to trial. Our chief witness is a Dr. David Gruber, you know who he is?
-No.
-He's the Assistant Chief of Anesthesiology, Massachusetts Commonwealth. He says your doctors, Towler and Marx, put my girl in the hospital for life. And we can prove that. What we don't know is why. What went on in there? In the O.R. That's what we'd like to know. Something went wrong. And you know what it was. They gave her the wrong anesthetic. What
-...you got your doctor's testimony. Why do you need me?
-I want someone who was in the O.R. We're going to win the case, there's no question of that. It's just a matter of how big...
-I've got nothing to say to you.
-You know what happened.
-Nothing happened.
-I can subpoena you, you know. I can get you up there on the stand.
-And ask me what?
-Who put my client in the hospital for life.
-I didn't do it, Mister.
-Who are you protecting, then?
-Who says that I'm protecting anyone?
-I do. Who is it? The Doctors. What do you owe them?
-I don't owe them a goddamn thing.
-Then why don't you testify?
-You know, you're pushy, fella...
-You think I'm pushy now, wait 'til I get you on the stand...
-Yessir. I'm sorry.
-Why is that?
-Now, have you boys tried to resolve your little difficulty because that certainly would save the Commonwealth a lot of time and bother.
-This is a complicated case, your Honor...
-I'm sure it is, Frank: and let me tell you something. If we find it so complex, how in the hell you think you're going to make a jury understand it? See my point? Let's talk a minute. Frank: what will you and your client take right now this very minute to walk out of here and let this damn thing drop?
-My client can't walk, your Honor.
-That's it...? Come on, guys...life is too short... You tell me if you're playing 'chicken,' or you mean it. Frank: I don't think I'm talking out of school, but I just heard someone offer you two hundred grand...and that's a lot of money...and if I may say, you haven't got the best of records.
-...things change.
-...that's true. Sometimes they change, sometimes they don't. Now, I remember back to when you were disbarred...
-I wasn't disbarred, they dropped the pro...
-And it seems to me, a fella's trying to come back, he'd take this settlement, and get a record for himself. I myself would take it and run like a thief.
-What is it?
-Thank you for seeing me.
-I need an extension for my case.
-You should have taken their offer. Especially if you were unprepared.
-I had a witness disappear on me.
-That happens.
-I could subpoena him if I had a week.
-Is the Plaintiff ready?
-Ready, your Honor.
-Do we have time this morning to... All right. Mr. Galvin, you want to continue now, or we can resume with Dr. Thompson this afternoon.
-Sustained. Yes. The witness will confine his testimony to review of the hospital records.
-What?
-Yes, Mr. Galvin?
-If I may be permitted to question my own witness in my own way...
-I got a letter from the Judge Advocate's office on you today, fella, you're on your way out...They should have kicked you out on that Lillibridge case. Now this is it today.
-I'm an attorney on trial before the bar. Representing my client. My client, do you understand? You open your mouth and you're losing my case for me.
-Listen to me, fella...
-Galvin, look, many years ago...
-And don't give me this shit, 'I was a lawyer, too.' 'Cause I know who you were. You couldn't hack it as a lawyer. You were Bag Man for the Boys and you still are. I know who you are.
-Are you done?
-Damn right I'm done. I'm going to ask for a mistrial and I'm going to request that you disqualify yourself from sitting on this case. I'm going to take a transcript to the State and ask that they impeach your ass.
-Nothing further, your Honor...
-I object, your Honor...
-Overruled...
-Exception!
-Continental Casualty...
-Mr. Alito, please.
-Business hours are over, Sir. This is the switch...
-I have to reach him. This is an emergency. Could you give me his home number?
-I'm sorry, Sir, we're not allowed...
-...Would you, would you call him up. I'll give you my number, and ask him...
-I can't guarantee that...
-Mr. Galvin's...
-Hello, I'm calling from...
-If you're selling something, I'm late for work...
-I'm calling from Professional Nurse Quarterly...
-From the magazine?
-This is Mr. Wallace in Subscriptions?
-How come you're calling me from...?
-This is Miss Costello...?
-Yes. Price...
-Pardon?
-Kathy Price.
-We find that your subscription lapsed...
-My subscription lapsed three years ago...
-That's why I'm calling, Miss Price...
-Missus...
-We have a renew-your-subscription offer...
-We get it at work. We get the magazine at work.
-Yes, we know that you do. I have it in my files. That's at the Manhattan Health Center...
-D'you find an apartment?
-Still looking.
-I changed my life today. What did you do?
-I changed my room at the Hotel.
-Why?
-The TV didn't work.
-What Hotel are you staying at?
-And what are you? A cop?
-I'm a lawyer.
-My ex-husband was a lawyer.
-Really. How wonderful for you.
-Yes. It was, actually.
-Oh, actually it was. Then why'd you call it off?
-Who says I'm the one that called it off?
-A brick house says you divorced him. I'll put you on your honor. Bet you a hundred dollars against you join me for dinner. And I'll take your word for it. Now you tell me the truth. Because you cannot lie to me. What's your name?
-Laura.
-My name's Frank. And furthermore, you came back to see me tonight.
-What if it wasn't you that I came back to see?
-The weak, the weak have got to have somebody to fight for them. Isn't that the truth? You want another drink?
-Jimmy! That's why the court exists. The court doesn't exist to give them justice, eh? But to give them a chance at justice.
-And are they going to get it?
-They might. Yes. That's the point ...is that they might...you see, the jury wants to believe. They're all cynics, sure, because they want to believe. I have to go in there tomorrow to find twelve people to hear this case. I'm going to see a hundred people and pick twelve. And every one of them it's written on their face, `This is a sham.
-Maybe what?
-Maybe I can do something right.
-And is that what you're going to do? Is that what you're going to do...?
-Would you like me to leave...? Is this a bad time --?
-What...?
-Is this a bad time.
-We, we...No...we just had a small reversal in the case... I have some, uh...I have some work to do...
-What happened...?
-They, uh, they got to my witness.
-I've got to work...
-Do you want me to go...?
-Why don't you get some rest?
-I've got to work.
-You can't work if you can't think. You get in bed. It's all right. I'll stay here with you. It's all right. Come on...
-You're going to stay here...?
-Do you think it's my fault?
-Isn't there something you...
-That's not the question. It's over. Do you think that it's my fault? If I'd...if I'd...I never should have taken it. There was no way that I was going to win.
-You're talking like a drunk.
-And it's over...?
-Yes.
-Well, then what are you doing here?
-I...do you want me to leave?
-You do what you want. You want to leave...You want to go kill yourself?
-I...
-You want me to tell you it's your fault? It probably is. What are you going to do about it? I thought it's not over till the jury comes in.
-Who told you that?
-You told me so. Maybe you'd get some sympathy. You came to the wrong place.
-And what makes you so tough?
-Maybe I'll tell you later.
-Is there going to be a later...?
-Not if you don't grow up...
-If I don't 'grow up...'
-You're like a kid, you're coming in here like it's Saturday night, you want me to say that you've got a fever -- you don't have to go to school...
-You, you don't under...
-Oh, yes, I do, Joe. Believe me. You say you're going to lose. Is it my fault? Listen! The damned case doesn't start until tomorrow and already it's over for you!
-It's over!
-What is your wife's picture doing by the side of your...
-What is that to you...?
-Joe... Joe...
-You're pressuring yourself...
-No...no...
-Is it over?
-No.
-What are you going to do?
-Thank you.
-I have to talk to you.
-Dr. Gruber.
-Dr. Gruber's not in.
-I had an appointment at his office, I think I must have got it wrong. We had a meeting...
-He's not in, Sir.
-I...please. My wife...my wife's prescription has run out. If I can call him...
-Dr. Halpern's taking all his...
-No, no, no. I have to talk to him. If I can only call him..
-Hi, Mickey ...
-What the hell do you think you're doing ...? What's going on here ...?
-Uh ...
-Fuck you. I got a call today from Sally Doneghy ...
-... now who is that ...?
-... You're 'sposed to be in court in ten days and she's telling me you haven't even met with them ...
-Sally Doneghy, now who is that?
-One lousy letter eighteen months ago. . . .I try to throw a fuckin' case your way ...
-... hey, I don't need your charity ...
-I have to talk to you.
-What do you want?
-Come on. Let's get a drink.
-Are you out of your mind...?
-...I'm going to need your help...
-You need my help...? You need a goddamn keeper...are you telling me that you turned down two-hundred- ten grand? Huh...? Are you nuts? Eh? Are you nuts. What are you going to do, bring her back to life?
-I'm going to help her.
-To do what...? To do what, for chrissake...? To help her to do what? She's dead...
-They killed her. And they're trying to buy it...
-Mick. Mick. Mick...
-What?
-You -- Listen: you said to me, `if not now, when...'
-I know what I said but not now. You won it. Franky. You won it. When they give you the money, that means that you won. We don't want to go to court -- is this getting to you...? You know who the attorney is for the Archdiocese, Eddie Concannon.
-...he's a good man...
-...he's a good man...? He's the Prince of Fuckin' Darkness...he'll have people in there testifying that the broad is well -- they saw her Tuesday on a surfboard at Hyannis...don't fuck with this case.
-...I have to stand up for her...
-Frank, but not now. Frank. You're trying to wipe out some old business. But not now. I understand. But you go call 'em back. You call the Bishop back.
-We've got her sister. Testifies she had a meal one hour before she was admitted to the hospital. This is the point.
-You got the admittance form says patient ate nine hours prior to admittance.
-Admittance form is wrong.
-Forget it. You can't prove it. Sister's testimony is no good. Jury knows we win she gets the cash.
-I've got my Dr. Gruber, says her heart condition means they gave her the wrong anaesthetic anyway, plus she came in complaining of stomach pains...
-...Gruber's not bad.GALVIN Not bad...? This guy's Dr. Kildare, the jury's going to love him, Mick... And you calm down, all right? Their guy, Towler's, the author of the book, 'Methodology and Practice, Anesthesiology.' ...and they got depositions from the nurses, everybody in the operating room, the scrub-nurse...'All these guys are God. I saw them walk on water...'
-They had an obstetrical nurse in there. We got a deposition from the obstetrical nurse?
-No.
-'Mary Rooney, forty-nine. Lives in Arlington, still working at the hospital.' Can you get out tomorrow? How come she isn't speaking up.
-Right.
-Okay now. Cases: Smith versus State of Michigan.
-Right.
-Brindisi versus Electric Boat.
-You got a good memory, Franky.
-Jimmy? Bushmills. Lookit, do me a favor. I'll buy you a drink tomorrow.
-Yeah? And what are you going to do tonight?
-Been a long time, huh...?
-I'm getting it back. Don't worry about me, Mick. I'm fine. D'you find the obstetric nurse?
-So what?
-So what...? The best is yet to come. Check the TV Guide. They got our Dr. Towler on a panel on GBH on Friday: 'The Healing Hand. The Experts Speak.'
-What I'm saying, they're getting some help.
-John: gimme a cuesta-ray.
-Oh shit, what's today?
-Today is Tuesday. What?
-I've got to go see Gruber. What's the best cigars you have?
-Give 'em a box of Macanudos.
-What happened, Joey...?
-I can't talk now.
-Yeah? How's our new witness?
-D'you find the obstetric nurse?
-She's workin' the late shift at the Hospital. She's at home now, I'm going over there to talk to...
-How are you holding up?
-I'm swell.
-And all we've got is a witch doctor!
-Okay. What do you do when you don't have a witness?
-You use their witness.
-That's right.
-Are you with me...are you awake...?
-Yeah. I'm awake.
-Rooney's protecting someone. Who is she protecting?
-The Doctors.
-She's protecting the Doctors she'd be up there on the stand...
-`You guys are a bunch of whores...uh...loyalty...you don't care who gets hurt...you don't have any loyalty...'
-...one of the other nurses?
-Who? They're all testifying. Everybody who was in the O.R.'s going to take the stand.
-All right. Who wasn't in the O.R.?
-Uh...the admitting nurse...
-What did she do?
-She didn't do anything. She took the patient's history and signed the charts. 'K.C.' 'Kathy Costello...'
-The 'History'...?
-We don't have anything from the Nurse Association?
-The broad has disappeared...
-...yeah...good...
-...four years ago...
-Hello. This is Mr. Dorchester in Records. We're looking for Kathy Costello...
-What the hell are you doing here?
-What are you doing in New York...?
-I talked to Johnnie White at the Bar Association. The broad used to work for one of Concannon's partners in New York awhile ago. She wanted to move to Boston. How badly did she hurt us, Joe?
-We got a mistrial, you know. Joe -- did you hear what I said...?
-I'm ... Mrs. Doneghy? I'm Frank Galvin ... why didn't you go in?
-It's locked.
-It's not a good case. It's a very good case. A healthy young woman goes into the hospital to deliver her third child, she's given the wrong anaesthetic ...
-... we, we love her, Dick and me ...
-... I'm sure you do ...
-But what can we do? She don't know who's visiting her ...
-... I know. I went ...
-... You saw her?
-Yes. Yes, I have.
-You know how beautiful she was? Her husband left her, and he took her kids .... They, they, they'd let you die in there. They don't care. Nobody cares. The Patriot Home, the Chronic Care ... in Arlington ...? They'd take her in. Perpetual care. They'd take her. Fifty thousand dollars they want. An endowment.
-... fifty thousand dollars?
-I don't want to leave her. Dick ...the, the ... and Father Laughlin, he said that it was God's will ...
-... I understand ...
-My doctor told me that I got to move out West ... that's when we filed in court. We didn't want to sue ...
-... I understand ...
-He saw her at the Northern Care...
-We just can't do it anymore. This is our chance to get away.
-What does it mean? I...I mean we, you have other tactics...
-We, yes. Yes. They, they present their side, and I get the same chance. To cross-examine... to... to...
-Are we going to win? We have, you know, other tactics, though...
-I spoke to her, and everything is all right.
-I, what are you talking about? I talked to her this morning, and she said...
-She told me.
-She did?
-I just saw her.
-In New York?
-What?
-Hi.
-I've been meaning to come in a long time.
-You live in the neighborhood?
-Uh-huh. My nephew's going to be staying with us in a few months, so I stopped by.
-How old is he?
-Thank you.
-You're really... You, are you the one they told me was the nurse?
-Who told you that?
-Mrs...
-Mrs. Simmonds.
-Yes.
-I used to be a nurse.
-Kathy Price...
-Yes...
-You were the Admitting Nurse at St. Catherine Laboure Hospital on May twelfth, nineteen seventy-six, the night Deborah Ann Kaye was admitted...
-Yes.
-These are your initials, 'K.C.'?
-D'you ask the patient when did she last eat?
-Yes.
-What did she say?
-She said she had a full meal one hour before coming to the hospital.
-One hour.
-Yes.
-And did you write the numeral `one' down on the record, standing for one hour?
-I did.
-A single hour.
-Another, Frank . . . ?
-I want to buy you a drink.
-Well, well, well. Huh?
-Yeah.
-It's a long road that has no turning.
-Dr. Towler...
-Yes.
-You have a record of what happened in the operating room...
-Yes, that's correct.
-...there are notations every thirty seconds...
-Yes.
-...of the procedures...
-Yes, the roving nurse...
-But those notations stop... ...four-and-one-half minutes after Deborah Ann Kaye's...
-We, we were rather busy...
-Four-and-one-half minutes after her heart stopped. And they resume seven minutes...
-As I've said we had some more...
-...they start again three minutes earlier...
-We had rather more important things on our mind than taking notes. We were trying to restore her...
-What happened in those three...
-...we were trying to restore her heartbeat.
-What happened in those three minutes...?
-We'd gone to 'Code Blue,' we were administering electro...
-Brain damage could have been...it didn't necessarily take nine minutes, it could have been caused in two...
-Wait, wait, wait, you're saying that her brain damage could have been caused by her being deprived of oxygen for two minutes...?
-Yes.
-Huh. And why is that?
-Franky can't make it. He had an appointment he forgot, he's going to see you later. I'm Mickey Morrissey, we're supposed to get to know each other.
-How'm I doing so far?
-Stearns, Harrington, you know who that is?
-Should I?
-A huge law firm. Okay? They put him in the firm, he's married, everything's superb. Franky, he's starting to talk like he comes from Dorsetshire, some fuckin' place, 'You must drop by with Pat and me...' Okay...?
-Yes.
-...and he's making a billion dollars every minute working for Stearns, Harrington, and he bought a dog, and everything is rosy. Then Mr. Stearns, he tried to fix a case.
-The Big Boy did...?
-That Frank was working on. Yeah. He thought Franky needed some help, so they bribed a juror. So Franky finds out. He comes to me in tears. He thinks that anybody who knows what a 'spinnaker' is got to be a saint. I told him ' Franky, wake up. These people are sharks. What do you think they got so rich from? Doing good?'
-Huh.
-Before he can get there here comes this Federal Marshal, and Franky's indicted for Jury tampering, they throw him in jail, he's gonna be disbarred, his life is over. Jimmy, gimme another drink. How are you?
-Me, too.
-Doctor, how long is it going to take you to pull him out of this?
-It is hard to say. Six months, at least. Perhaps a year. It depends to a certain extent on him.
-He won't talk.
-No. We have ways of digging out knowledge. But it takes longer. He is suffering from acute melancholia, together with a guilt complex. He blames himself for what happened to the woman. And we know little of the background.
-I can give you one thing: he was in love with her.
-Ah? That complicates the problem.
-How'd you get into the shipbuilding business, Gavin?
-Interesting business.
-No, to be honest, I find it dull.
-You don't have to do it for a living.
-No. But one assumes obligations. My wife's family is all gone; someone has to look after her interest. Her father's partner runs the company yard in the East -- Baltimore -- so I decided as long as I had to work at it, I'd come back here. I've always liked it here.
-How long have you been back?
-Almost a year.
-And you like it.
-Like all this.
-Shouldn't you be sitting down?
-No, I'm all right.
-I was sorry to read about that thing in the papers. And you've quit the force. A permanent physical disability?
-Would you like a drink now?
-Not what you think. We're very happily married.
-Then?
-I'm afraid some harm may come to her.
-From whom?
-Scottie, do you believe that someone out of the past, someone dead, can enter and take possession of a living being?
-No.
-If I told you I believe that his happened to my wife, what would you say?
-I'd say you'd better take her to the nearest psychiatrist, psychologist, neurologist, psychoanalyst, or plain family doctor. And have him check you both.
-I didn't mean to be that rough.
-No, it sounds idiotic, I know. And you're still the hard-headed Scot, aren't you? Always were. Do you think I'm making it up?
-No.
-I'm not making it up. I wouldn't know how. She'll be talking to me about something, nothing at all, and suddenly the words fade into silence and a cloud comes into her eyes and they go blank... and she is somewhere else, away from me... someone I don't know. I call to her and she doesn't hear. And then with a long sigh she
-How often does this happen?
-More and more in the past few weeks. And she wanders. God knows where she wanders. I followed her one day.
-Watched her come out of the apartment, someone I didn't know... walking in a different way... holding her head in a way I didn't know; and get into her car, and drive out to... Golden Gate Park. Five miles. She sat on a bench at the edge of the lake and stared across the water to the old pillars that stand an the far
-Well?
-The speedometer of her car showed she had driven 94 miles that day. Where did she go? I have to know, Scottie. Where she goes and what she does, before I got involved with doctors.
-Have you talked to the doctors at all?
-Yes, but carefully. I'd want to know more before committing her to that kind of care. Scottie --
-I can get you a firm of private eyes to follow her for you. They're dependable, good boys --
-I want you.
-It's not my line.
-How can I see her, to know her?
-We're going to an opening at the opera tonight. We'll dine at Ernie's first. Which is easier?
-Ernie's.
-You've done well, Scottie. You're good at your job.
-That's Carlotta Valdes.
-Yes.
-There are things you didn't tell me.
-I didn't know where she was going to lead you.
-But you knew about this.
-Something else. My wife, Madeleine, has several pieces of jewelry that belonged to Carlotta. She inherited them. Never wore them, they were too old-fashioned... until now. Now, when she is alone, she gets them out and looks at them handles them gently, curiously... puts them on and stares at herself in the mirror... and goes into that other world... is someone else again.
-Carlotta Valdes was what: your wife's grandmother?
-Great-grandmother. The child who was taken from her whose loss drove Carlotta mad and to her death - was Madeleine's grandmother.
-Well, that explains it. Anyone could develop an obsession for the past, with a background like that.
-But she doesn't know, about her background. She never heard of Carlotta Valdes.
-Knows nothing of a grave out at Mission Dolores, or an old house an Eddy Street, or a portrait at the Palace of the Legion of Honor?
-Nothing.
-And when she goes to those places...
-How do you know all these things she doesn't know?
-Her mother told me most of then before she died. I dug out the rest for myself, here.
-Why did she never tell her daughter?
-He had no right to say that. It was my responsibility. You didn't know her. I shouldn't have got you involved.
-I -- I --
-Hello.
-Scottie, what happened? She's not home, yet.
-No, she's all right. She's still here. But I'll get her home soon.
-What happened?
-Hello?
-Did she hurt herself?
-Could I ask you a couple of questions?
-What for? Who are you?
-My name is John Ferguson, and --
-Is this some kind of Gallup Poll, or something?
-No, there are just a few things I want to ask you, and --
-Do you live here in the hotel?
-No, I happened to see you come in, and I thought --
-No, please! I Just want to talk to you!
-Listen, I'm going to yell in a minute!
-Just let me talk to you.
-What about?
-You.
-I've heard that one before, too. I remind you of someone you used to be madly in love with, but she ditched you for another guy, and you've been carrying the torch ever since, and then you saw me and something clicked. Huh!
-You're not far wrong.
-Well, it's not going to work. So you'd better go.
-I warn you, I can yell awfully loud.
-You won't have to.
-What do you want to know?
-Your name. And --
-Judy Barton.
-Who you are --
-Just a girl, I work at Magnin's --
--- and how you happen to be living here.
-It's a place to live, that's all.
-But you haven't lived here long.
-About three years.
-No, a year ago! Where did you live a year ago!!?
-I told you! Right here!
-But before! Where did you live before!?!
-Listen, what is this? What do you want?
-I want to know who you are.
-Will you have dinner with me?
-Why?
-Well, I feel I owe you something for all this...
-No, you don't owe me anything.
-Then will you for me?
-Dinner... and what else?
-Just dinner.
-Because I remind you of her?
-Well... I've been on blind dates before... Matter of fact, to be honest, I've been picked up before. Okay.
-I'll get my car and be back in half an hour.
-Oh, no! Give me time to change and get fixed up!
-An hour?
-Mmm.
-Thank you again. Good-night.
-Can I see you tomorrow?
-Tomorrow night? Well --
-Tomorrow morning.
-Tomorrow m -- but I have to go to work. I've got a job.
-Don't go.
-And what will I live on? My oil wells in Texas?
-I'll take care of you.
-Oh, Well, thank very much. But no thanks.
-No, Judy, you don't understand.
-Oh, I understand, all right. I've been understanding since I was seventeen. And the next step is, as long as you're going to see me tomorrow, why don't you stay the night.
-No.
-No? Then what?
-I just want to see you as much as I can!
-As friends? We'd just see a lot of each other as friends, and you'd "take care of me"?
-Yes.
-Why? Because I remind you of someone? That's not very complimentary. And nothing would... happen...
-No.
-No, Judy, I'm not going to move! Please! Stay in the chair!
-Why?!
-Will you, Judy?
-I like that one.
-No, there. There's a good one. Do you like that?
-Okay. Now we're going to buy you some clothes.
-There's Ransohoff's. Nothing but the best. Come on.
-But Scottie, you don't have to!
-But I like that one, Scottie.
-Scottie, what are you doing?
-I'm trying to buy you a suit.
-But I loved the second one she wore. And this one -- -- is beautiful.
-They're none of them right.
-You want me to dress like her?
-Judy, I just want you to look nice. And I know what kind of suit would look well on you.
-Ah, no!!! I don't want to be dressed like someone dead!
-Judy --
-Judy, it can't make much difference to you. I just want to see how you'd look and I know it won't be the same, but --
-No, I don't want any clothes! I don't want anything! I want to get out of here!
-I don't like it!
-I wish you'd leave me alone. I want to go away.
-You can.
-Judy, I want to tell you: these few days have been the first happy days I've had in a year.
-I know. Because I remind you of her. The one that's dead. And not even that, very much.
-You don't even want to touch me.
-The color of your hair...
-Ah, no!
-The trouble is, I'm gone now. For you. And I can't do anything about it. I want you to love me. If I let you change me, will that do it? If I do what you tell me, will you love me?
-Yes.
-Well?
-It should be back from your face -- with a bun at the neck. I told them. I told you.
-Where shall we go for dinner?
-Wherever you'd like...
-Ernie's?
-You've got a thing about Ernie's, haven't you?
-Mmmm.
-Come here.
-Oh, no. You'll muss me.
-That's what I had in mind.
-I'm suddenly hungry. Would you rather go somewhere else?
-No, Ernie's is fine.
-I've got it. He bends down and bites the back of her neck.
-Oh! You're supposed to fasten it!
-Scottie!
-How does it work?
-Can't you see?
-We're going awfully far.
-I feel like driving. Are you terrible hungry?
-Where are you going?
-Scottie, why are we here?
-I told you. I have to go back into the past. Once more. For the last time.
-But why? Why here?
-No, I don't want to go. I want to stay here.
-I need you.
-Why?
-I'm scared.
-...We stood there and I kissed her for the last time. And she said, "If lose me, you'll know that I loved you --
-Scottie --
-And I couldn't follow her. God knows I tried. One doesn't often get a second chance. I want to stop being haunted. You're my second chances, Judy.
-Take me away...
-You look like Madeleine, now. Go up the stairs.
-No!
-We're going up the tower, Madeleine.
-No! Let me go!
-We're going up the tower.
-You can't. You're afraid!
-Scottie, please...!
-But you knew, that day, that I wouldn't be able to follow you didn't you. Who was at the top when you got there? Elster? With his wife?
-Yes!
-And she was the one who died. Not you. The real wife. You were the copy, you were the counterfeit. Was she dead or alive when you got there?
-Dead. He'd broken her neck.
-Took no chances, did he? And when you got there, he pushed her off the tower, was that it? But you were the one who screamed. Why did you scream?
-I wanted to stop it, I ran up to stop it --
-Did he train you? Rehearse you? Teach you what to say and what to do?
-Yes!
-And you were such an apt pupil! What fun you two must have had, playing games with me! Why me? Why did he pick on me?!!
-Your accident...
-Ah, yes! I was a set-up. I was the made-to-order witness. Where is he now?
-I don't know... Switzerland?
-I made it.
-What are you going to do?
-Oh, Judy!! When he had all her money, and the freedom and the power... he ditched you? What a shame! But he knew he was safe. You couldn't talk. Didn't he give you anything?
-Some money.
-What are you going to do?
-I loved you, Madeleine.
-Love me... keep me safe...
-Why am I here? What happened?
-You don't remember.
-No...
-Do you remember where you were?
-Oh, of course I remember that! But then I must have had a dizzy spell, and fainted!
-Where were you?
-...Old Port Point! Out at the Presidio! Of course I remember! I often go there!
-Why?
-Because I love it so. It's beautiful there. Especially at sunset. Ah... thank you for the fire.
-Where had you been before?
-When?
-This afternoon.
-Oh... wandering about.
-Please drink your coffee.
-I will. You're terribly direct in your questions.
-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.
-You're not. Merely direct. What were you doing there? At Old Fort Point?
-Wandering about.
-The Palace of the Legion of honor. The Art Gallery.
-Lucky for me you were wandering about. Thank you again. I've been terrible bother to you.
-When you... There were pins in my hair...
-You shouldn't have brought me here, you know.
-I... didn't know where you lived.
-You could have looked in my car. Oh, but you didn't know my car, did you?
-Yes, I knew which one it was. It's out there, now. But I didn't think you'd want to be brought home that way.
-No, you are right, I'm glad you didn't take me home... I wouldn't have known you, to thank you... Oh, but I don't know you! And you don't know me! My name is Madeleine Elster.
-My name is John Ferguson.
-That's a good, strong name. Do your friends call you John? Or Jack.
-John. Old friends. Acquaintances call me Scottie.
-I shall call you Mr. Ferguson.
-No, I wouldn't like that. And after what happened today I should think you could call me Scottie. Or even John.
-I prefer John. There, that's done. And what do you do, John?
-Wander about.
-One shouldn't live alone.
-Some people prefer it.
-Will you tell me something? Has this ever happened to you before?
-What?
-No, never before. I've fallen into lakes, out of rowboats, when I was a little girl. And I fell into a river, once, trying to leap from one stone to another. But I've never fallen into San Francisco Bay. Have you? Ever before?
-Oh! Yes. Hello.
-Good morning. I worried about you, last night. You shouldn't have run like that.
-I... suddenly felt such a fool.
-I wanted to drive you home. Are you all right?
-Oh, yes. Fine. No after effects. But as I remember now, that water was cold, wasn't it? What a terrible thing to do... and you were so kind... It's a formal thank-you letter. And a great big apology.
-You've nothing to apologize for.
-Oh, yes! The whole thing must have been so embarrassing for you!
--- talking to you...
-Would you like some coffee?
-I couldn't mail it; I didn't know your address. But I had a landmark. I remembered Coit Tower and it led me straight to you.
-I hope we will, too.
-What?
-Meet again, sometime.
-Good-bye.
-I don't know.
-Shopping?
-No.
-Well... anywhere in particular?
-No, I Just thought I'd wander.
-Ah. That's what I was going to do.
-Don't you think it's sort of a waste for the two of us to...
-Wander separately? Ah, but only one is a wanderer. Two, together, are always going somewhere.
-Do you know where you're going?
-Of course not! I'm a wanderer! I'd like to go somewhere I've never been!
-How can you be sure?
-How old?
-Oh... some, two thousand years, or more.
-What are you thinking?
-Of all the people who have been born... and have died... while the trees went on living.
-Their true name is Sequoia Sempervirens: always green, ever- living.
-I don't like them.
-Why?
-Do you hear anything?
-Only silence. It's always like this.
-And no birds sing.
-No birds live here.
-Would you like a drink of water?
-Somewhere in here I was born... and here I died and it was only a moment for you... you took no notice...
-Where are you now?
-Here with you.
-Where?
-The tall trees...
-Have you been here before?
-Yes...
-Where were you born?
-Long ago...
-No!... No!
-Tell me what it is. Where do you go? What takes you away?
-When you jumped in the bay, you didn't know where you were. You guessed but you didn't know.
-I didn't jump, I fell! You told me I fell!
-Why did you jump?
-No!
-No, I can't tell you!
-What?!
-Take me away from here?
-Home?
-I'm responsible for you now, you know. The Chinese say that once you have saved someone's life, you are responsible for it forever. And so I'm committed. And I have to know.
-There is so little I know. It is as though I were walking down a long corridor that once was mirrored, and fragments of mirror still hang there, dark and shadowy, reflecting a dark image of me... and yet not me... someone else, in other clothes, of another time, doing things I have never done... but still me... And I can't stop to ask
-But the small scenes, the fragments in the mirror: you remember them.
-Vaguely...
-What do you remember?
-A room... there is a room, and I sit there alone... always alone...
-Would you know the room?
-No... it's in shadow.
-What else?
-A grave...
-Where?
-I don't know. An open grave. I stand by the gravestone looking down into it. And it's my grave.
-How do you know?
-I know.
-There's a name on the gravestone.
-No. It's new and clean, and waiting.
-What else?
-This part is dream, I think. There is a tower and a bell and... a garden below... but it seems to be in Spain... a village in Spain. And then it clicks off, and is gone.
-A portrait? Do you ever see a portrait?
-No.
-Of the woman in the mirror. Would you know her if you saw her?
-But I'm the woman in the mirror!
-If I could find the key... find the beginning put it together...
-I'm not mad. I'm not mad. And I don't want to die, but there's someone inside me, there's a somebody else, and she says I must die... Scottie, don't let me go!
-I'm here, I've got you...
-Don't leave me... stay with me...
-I should have phoned... but I wanted to see you... be with you...
-Why? What's happened?
-No, don't go away!
-Where's your husband?
-It was a dream, you're awake, you're all right, now. Can you tell me?
-It was the tower again... and the bell, and the old Spanish village...
-Yes --
-But clear... so very clear... for the first time... all of it...
-Tell me.
-Go on.
-At the end of the green there was a whitewashed stone house with a lovely pepper tree at the corner --
--- and an old wooden hotel of the old California days, and a saloon... dark... low-ceilinged... with hanging oil lamps.
-Yes?! But --
-You've been there before. You've seen it.
-No, never!
-Madeleine, a hundred miles south of San Francisco there's an old Spanish Mission, Mission San Juan Bautista. It's been preserved exactly as it was a hundred years ago as a museum. Now, think hard, darling. You've been there before. You've seen it!
-Go on with your dream. What was it that frightened you?
-Here with you.
-And it's a all real.
-Yes.
-My love... because I love you.
-I love you too... too late... too late...
-No... we're together...
-There are things I have to tell you, about how we met, and why we are together. But they can wait. The only important thing now is that I love you and I'm going to keep you safe.
-You can't.
-Why?
-Let me go.
-Where?
-To the church, I must go there.
-Madeleine --
-It's not fair, it's too late. It wasn't supposed to happen this way, it shouldn't have happened...!
-It had to. We're in love. That's all that counts. Madeleine --
-Let me go! Let me go!!
-You believe that I love you?
-Yes.
-And if you lose me, you'll know that I loved you and wanted to go on loving you.
-Let me go into the church alone.
-Why?
-Is there something I can do for you?
-Yes... you run this hotel.
-Oh, yes!
-Would you tell me, who has the room on the second floor in the corner, that corner?
-Oh, dear! Has she done something wrong?
-Please answer my question.
-I can't imagine that sweet girl with that dear face --
-What is her name?
-Valdes. Miss Valdes. It's Spanish, you know.
-Carlotta Valdes?
-Yes, that's it. Sweet name, isn't it? Foreign. But sweet.
-How long has she had the room?
-Oh, it must be two weeks. Yes, the rent's due tomorrow.
-Does she sleep here? Ever?
-No... she only comes to sit. Two or three times a week. And I never ask questions, you know. As long as they're well behaved. I must say that I've wondered --
-Oh, but she hasn't been here today. Scottie whirls back on her.
-I saw her come in five minutes. ago.
-And there! There you see? Her key is on the rack!
-Would you please go and look?
-Her car is gone.
-Ow!!
-I thought you said no more aches and pains?
-It's this darned corset. It binds. He retrieves the stick.
-No three-way stretch? How very un- chic.
-Well, you know those police department doctors: no sense of style. Ah, tomorrow!
-What's tomorrow?
-Midge, do you suppose many men wear corsets?
-More than you think.
-How do you know? Personal experience?
-Please! And what happens after tomorrow?
-What do you mean?
-What are you going to do? Now that you've quit the police force?
-You sound so disapproving, Midge.
-No, it's your life. But you were the bright young lawyer who decided he was going to be chief of police some day.
-I had to quit, Midge.
-Why?
-I wake up at night seeing him fall from the roof... and try to reach out for him.
-It wasn't your fault.
-I know. Everybody tells me.
-Johnny, the doctors explained --
-I know. I have Acrophobia. What a disease. A fear of heights. And what a moment to find out I had it.
-Well, you've got it. And there's no losing it. And there's no one to blame. So why quit?
-And sit behind a desk? Chairborne?
-It's where you belong.
-Not with my Acrophobia, Midge. If I dropped a pencil on the floor and bent down to pick it up, it could be disastrous!
-Well?... what'll you do?
-Nothing for a while. You forget, I'm a man of independent means. Or fairly independent.
-Mmm. Why don't you go away for a while?
-To forget? Don't be so motherly, Midge. I'm not going to crack up.
-Have you had any dizzy spells this week?
-From that music.
-It's a brassiere. You know about those things. You're a big boy, now.
-I've never run across one like that.
-It's brand new. Revolutionary uplift. No shoulder straps, no back straps, but does everything a brassiere should do. It works on the principle of the cantilever bridge.
-Uh-huh!
-An aircraft engineer down the peninsula designed it. He worked it out in his spare time.
-How's your love life, Midge?
-That's following a train of thought.
-Well?
-Normal.
-Aren't you ever going to get married?
-You know there's only one man in the world for me, Johnny-O.
-Yeah, I'm a brute. We were engaged once though, weren't we?
-Three whole weeks.
-Ah, sweet college days. But you're the one who blew it. I'm still available. Available Ferguson. Say, Midge, do you remember a guy at college named Gavin Elster?
-Gavin? Gavin Elster? You'd think I'd would. No.
-I got a call from him today. Funny. He dropped out of sight during the war, and I'd heard he'd gone East. I guess he's back. It's a Mission number.
-That's Skid Row... isn't it?
-Could be.
-He's probably on the bum and wants to touch you for the price of a drink.
-Well, I'm on the bum; I'll buy him a couple of drinks and tell him my troubles. But not tonight. If you won't drink with me, I'll drink alone, tonight.
-Sorry, old man. Work.
-Midge, what did you mean, there's no losing it?
-What.
-My... the acrophobia.
-I asked my doctor. He said only another emotional shock could do it, and probably wouldn't. And you're not going to go diving off another rooftop to find out.
-I think I can lick it.
-How?
-Here, I'll show you what I mean. We'll start with this.
-That!?!
-Now. I look up, I look down. I look up, I look down. Nothing to it.
-Step number two.
-Easy, now.
-Johnny!
-Now, that's the kind of greeting a girl likes. None of this "hello you look wonderful" stuff. Just a good straight "who do you know" --
-Well, who? Come on, you know everybody.
-Professor Saunders, over in Berkeley.
-Not that kind of history. The small stuff! About people you never heard of!
-Oh! You mean Gay Old Bohemian Days of Gay Old San Francisco! The juicy stories? Like who shot who in the Embarcadero August, 1879?
-Yeah.
-Pop Leibel.
-Who?
-Pop Leibel owns the Argosy Book Shop. What do you want to know?
-Wait a minute! You're not a detective any more. What's going on?
-Do you know him well?
-Pop Leibel? Sure.
-The poor thing....
-Now then, Johnny-O; pay me.
-For what?
-For bringing you here. Come on, tell!
-Nothing to tell.
-You'll tell, or you'll be back in that corset! Come on!
-Here you are.
-You haven't told me everything.
-I've told you enough.
-Who's the guy, who's the wife?
-Out. I've got things to do.
-I know. The one who phoned. Your old college chum, Elster.
-Out!
-And the idea is that the Beautiful Mad Carlotta has come back from the dead, to take possession of Elster's wife? Ah, Johnny! Come on!
-I'm not telling you what I think! I'm telling you what he thinks!
-Is she pretty?
-Carlotta?
-No, not Carlotta. Elster's wife.
-Midge!
-I did. Since when do you go about slipping notes under men's doors?
-Since I stopped being able to get them on the phone. For a man who has nothing to do, you're certainly a busy little bee. Where do you go, these days?
-Just wander.
-Where?
-Around.
-Mm. Better.
-Did you need it?
-Yeah.
-What was this desperate urge to see me?
-All I said in the note was: "Where are you?" That doesn't sound desperate to me.
-Well, I detected an undercurrent.
-I just thought if I gave you a drink and fed you some dinner, you'd be so grateful you'd take me to a movie.
-Fair enough. What'll we talk about at dinner?
-Oh... this and that.
-What I've been doing?
-If you want to. Naturally, we won't talk about anything you don't want to talk about.
-What have you been doing?
-Oh, I'm having a wonderful time! I've gone back to my first love... painting.
-Good. I've always said you were wasting your time in the underwear department.
-Well, it's a living. But I'm excited about this.
-What is it, a still life?
-As a matter of fact, I thought I might give it to you.
-Yes... the Beautiful Carlotta... the Sad Carlotta...
-What does a big old wooden house on the corner of Eddy and Gough Street have to do with her?
-It was hers. It was built for her. Many years ago.
-By whom?
-She died.
-How?
-By her own hand. There are many such stories.
-No, that's not it. Nothing like it.
-But you said grey, sir.
-She'll be out in a moment.
-Yes! That's it!
-Oh, yes! It may need some slight alterations, but it is madam's size. All right, dear. We'll have it for you to try in a moment.
-How soon can it be altered?
-Well...
-Can we have it by tonight?
-Well, if it's absolutely necessary...
-The stripper's here.
-She's fucking hot!
-Jesus.
-They'll get us on accesory to murder.
-I'm not going to ruin my life over a dead whore.
-Can't do what?
-How ya doing?
-What?
-What's that?
-What did you say?
-I said how's it going?
-I didn't hear you.
-We're leaving from my house in three hours. If you want to come, get your numbers in order by then.
-First of all...
-No first of all. I'm not in a game mood.
-You're interrupting a personal conversation.
-It's really a stupid opinion. You have developed an annoying habit of talking for what seems to be no other reason than to hear yourself speak.
-Because my opinion threatens yours, it's poorly developed?
-No, because your opinions are idiotic and have nothing to do with what any given conversation is about, which makes 85% of your eagerly injected thought process highly offensive to me.
-You're an asshole Adam.
-You're an asshole.
-Oh, and why am I an asshole?
-Multiple reasons.
-Name one.
-Tonight we return once again to the cave. Tonight we let the monsters out. We fill ourselves with the spirits of Genghis Khan, Joe Namath, JFK, Paton, Lombardi, Hemingway...
-I was just playing...we were playing just playing around.
-We were playing...she slipped...she hit her head.
-The floor was wet. She slipped!
-Why was the floor wet?
-I don't know why the floor was wet!
-Why?
-This is pathetic.
-You're pathetic.
-What did you say?
-You're not a team player.
-Don't point at me.
-You never were a team player. That's why you never had any friends.
-I have plenty of friends.
-The hell you do.
-The hell I don't.
-You have acquaintances - business friends and superficial golf buddies. You have always been a fringe player. You have some serious male on male intimacy problems.
-Fucking Boyd. That fucking idiot. They're on to us.
-About anybody but yourself. You never have.
-And you're a little fucking reject.
-If you ever touch my minivan again, I'll make you sorry. Real sorry.
-You got a retarded kid and a fat pig wife.
-Don't you threaten me you little rat fuck.
-Don't you fucking threaten me - I'll fucking kill you.
-Go home!
-Four hours and fifteen minutes. I can make Vegas in 3 and change.
-Don't even start.
-One idea that if you had fucking listened to, you would each be worth approximately 15 million dollars.
-You can't keep bringing up Starbucks. That was your only real hit in like 75 tries.
-More.
-She's got no fucking pulse.
-Wait!
-What?
-What are you doing?
-What are you talking about?
-What do you think you are doing?
-I'm calling the ambulance.
-Just wait a second. Wait one second. Okay. What are you doing?
-Calling the ambulance.
-We have to call the ambulance.
-Everybody shut up. LISTEN TO ME!
-Listen to me. Please. Everybody just calm down a bit here. Okay... First...are we sure she's dead?
-Are you sure this was an accident?
-Stop it! Listen to me. Let's just take a second here and take hold of the situation, OK? Let's just review our options here.
-We have a dead woman bleeding all over the bathroom. What options? Call the police.
-Call the police. Okay, that's one option.
-That is not an "option." There is no multiple choice here.
-Stop it!
-There's more.
-Just stop.
-Just giving the facts.
-I'm calling the police.
-Bury her out in the desert.
-You don't just casually walk out of a Vegas Casino with a dead woman.
-We can do this. We can get her out of here.
-Have you completely lost your mind? So you get her out of here. So you get her out into the desert somehow, without anybody seeing, so what, you don't think at some point somebody might notice that she's gone?
-Her blood is all over the bathroom. I'd say that's a bit of a DNA problem.
-Her fucking head was caved in.
-So I didn't fucking do it!
-Wrap her up in blankets. Bring the car around to the back of the hotel, throw her off the balcony, put her in the car...Done.
-You don't think someone will have a problem with a body being thrown off a balcony?
-We check out the area and wait for a time when it's clear.
-What about the blood?
-Someone goes to Walmart, gets some buckets, brushes, mops, Spic and Span, the works.
-Have you ever done this before?
-Sun rises at 5:52.
-Wait. Wait a minute.
-What?
-We can't do this.
-We've already done this.
-How do you figure?
-According to Jewish law, the blood and limbs are considered to be part of the human being. They must be buried together or their souls won't rest in peace.
-So that's what we're doing.
-No we're not. The bodies are all mixed up. We can't do this to them.
-She's Asian. They don't have Jews in Asia.
-That is absolutely not true.
-Well what the fuck are we supposed to do?
-We have to get going.
-I am not flexible on this.
-Now I am the last to say that we have done here is a good thing. It's not. It's not a good thing. But it was, given the circumstances, the smart play. We did what had to be done. And...well...I'm proud of us. I'm proud of each and every one of us. We performed. Under the most complex and nerve shattering of situations, we
-We are all going straight to hell. Either hell or prison, whichever comes first.
-Boyd you idiot, the shit's coming down!
-What does that mean?
-You got us into this mess.
-Oh I did? I think it was your little rat fuck brother who decided to play Hamburger Helper with the hooker's head.
-Would you, shush?! These phones aren't secure!
-Lighten up Adam. Show some character.
-Don't talk to me about character.
-Fuck you Boyd!
-What is your problem?
-What?
-At the seven-eleven.
-Who? What are you talking about?
-They're on me. They're smoking me out!
-You got some mighty fucking fine bad timing Adam. We got a rehearsal situation here.
-I didn't do anything! I'll turn your pathetic ass in!
-Adam! Calm down.
-I won't calm down. I can't do this. We can't do this. It won't work. It will not work.
-It has worked.
-I'm talking about DNA samples, fiber optics, search parties, they got infrared scanners, FBI scientists. They figure this shit out. They always figure it out.
-They won't figure it out.
-All right. Let's all go back in. Adam? You're cool right?
-Don't snap at them!
-They're driving me nuts!
-Honey, go in there and get some Starbursts.
-What?
-They're screaming for Starbursts.
-Later.
-Where's the candy?
-There is no candy!
-We'll be ready Adam.
-That's one idea.
-Real times.
-No. No. No. It's what my father said to me. He said it and he meant it... He said to me...He said, Adam, he said...He told me and I heard him... he said... Hell he said so many Goddamn things I can't remember everything he said for Christsake.
-Right! That's exactly what I'm saying. My father said, first of all, I'm your father not your friend. I'm your father.
-Are you solid with that?
-No. I think it's fucked.
-The bucks gonna stop right here. If my son doesn't know the six New England states, if he has trouble with geography, I won't stick it in his face. I'll help the little guy. I'll put him in the car and take him out there. I'll take him to Maine for a big Lobster dinner, go skiing in Vermont, hot dogs at Yankee Stadium...I
-Don't ever stare him down.
-I won't do it.
-I tell mine that they're little men. I tell them they're strong. They make me feel joy. I let 'em know. So they really know that I need them just as much. You know. Just as much man. And you know, you're their godfather...
-I know and I'm honored...
-If anything ever happens to me...
-I know...
-Either side you idiot. I'm calling 911.
-No way.
-I want you to hear me out.
-What.
-You and I have done nothing. You especially. We are innocent.
-I don't think so.
-Have you thought about what I said?
-Jesus Adam, can we not get into this now please?
-I got a migraine like a little monkey kicking in the side of my skull, Mike Tyson with a fucking sledge hammer trying to crack...
-I got you.
-My god.
-Money?
-Yes money. Adam had a five hundred dollar Term Life Insurance Policy.
-Actually, no. Adam was switching to a Whole Life Policy, but re-scheduled his medical exam...and failed to make his last payment...so his Term Life lapsed. So it's value is null and void. Now he did have a pension account, worth another 150 thousand.
-Well, oh...
-And a house. Valued at 350 thousand.
-So. When is the wedding.
-What are you talking about?
-Don't sweet lip me.
-I don't understand where this personal attack is coming from...
-You're a liar. I want to know what happened in Vegas.
-Nothing happened in Vegas.
-Micheal? Do you have something to tell me?
-Micheal. Tell Lois that nothing...
-He's upset about Adam. We're all upset.
-I will call the police right now if I don't start getting some answers.
-What is it?
-What?
-She's not here.
-Where is she?
-Okay. Hi.
-So who's the lucky guy?
-Who?
-Yup.
-Doing the bachelor party thing?
-That's right.
-Sin City. Devil's Playground. The Black Bitch. All day every day. Where's Tina?
-She's in the bathroom...she's still working.
-She's still working?
-That's right.
-Is everything okay?
-She's in there!
-No I don't.
-Your investment ideas never work out.
-I don't think so Boyd.
-But not tonight.
-Keith Richards, Dean Martin...
-Where do you look? What side of the neck?
-He's right.
-I got her arm.
-The past is the past. Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives.
-What's your fucking point?
-What's goosed?
-He just had two.
-He's too drunk.
-You said that Boyd.
-Tony? This is Keith Fisher. You're doing my wedding and I'm calling about the chair situation. Yeah, I'll hold.
-Not really. Yes, the Fisher wedding chairs...
-No, I'm holding for Tony. In chairs. Keith Fisher. Okay.
-That would translate to government guaranteed contract in excess of 35 million dollars.
-We need padded chairs.
-She's all your's Fish. Anything you want. Happy bachelor party.
-Oh, Jesus...call the police.
-No.
-She's dead. Call somebody!
-Shut up.
-Call 911.
-Fuck! Fuck you fucking guys!
-Oh for Christsake Boyd. Somebody must know she's here.
-Oh God. This is insane.
-Nobody knows she's here.
-All right people. New plan. Not even a new plan so much as a modification of the old plan.
-I'm calling the police.
-That is a load of shit. Personal power has nothing to do with any of this. Tony Robbins has helped me to unlock energy and see my options more clearly, yes, but to give him credit for this, for all of this...Well that's just more than the man deserves.
-I think we should say some words over the grave.
-What kind of words?
-I'm talking about prayer.
-Micheal, now is probably not the best time for this.
-It goes; "Today is the first day of the rest of our lives."
-Fisher had a less than normal relationship with that Donkey.
-The problem was our quarterback had trouble remembering his right from left...
-OK. Definitely not cool! Definitely inappropriate behavior here.
-Shut up Boyd.
-Negative. This is not what we have worked out in terms of presented behavior.
-Easy Boyd.
-He's cracked up.
-He is not cracking up.
-Boyd...What have we done?
-What did you ask me?
-What?
-What is the question you asked me?
-I said, what have we done?
-Yes, you did. Now that is the question! That is exactly the question we should be asking ourselves. You tell me Fisher. What have we done?
-I don't know! I just want to get married.
-Say it again.
-What?
-What you just said. Say it again.
-I just want to get married.
-What's your point?
-Regarding what?
-Does she sound pissed, scared, hostile? Did she mention the police?
-Jesus Boyd you're going to O.D. him.
-After you drop the kids off, take Micheal home. Put a few drinks in him so he'll sleep.
-I don't think that's such a good idea.
-Just do it.
-What are you going to do?
-Take care of business.
-What does that mean?
-And what does that mean? Are you insane?! You think I would hurt Lois?! She's the mother of those kids! What is wrong with you?
-I don't know...
-Okay. Here's the deal and it's a good one. Lois is cool. It's a pacified situation.
-I'm talking about Lois having relaxed her anxiety. Only deal is...you still got Micheal there?
-Yeah.
-Good deal. Lois just wants to hear it from Micheal.
-Hear what?
-That it was all an accident. She wants to hear it from Micheal's mouth.
-That's right.
-Isn't it a little late?
-This is a situation that defies judgement. We have acted and showed courage that is not of a kind known by most.
-I'm getting really tired of your bullshit.
-My what?
-You've got a warped thought process. Your brain doesn't function properly.
-You care to add a little specification to that slanderous accusation?
-I'm talking about some bad, bad, very bad things. Bad things! Those are bad fucking things!
-Okay fine.
-Fine? Fine what?
-Whatever you say Kojak.
-I'm serious.
-Blood money. Insurance dollars that you have thus fucking far decided not to tell me about at all. In no way have you mentioned that money. And I find that to be very very offensive.
-You're sick.
-And if you think you can fuck me, don't. Cause I'm fucking insulated Fisher. Protected. Backed up on floppy. Do you get me? I want my fucking money!
-Not a prayer.
-I'm a lifesaver. A lighthouse. Up all night in the rain, in stormy gale force wind, tornado and fucking earthquakes. I stay lit for you. I stay lit. I don't go dark. I never go dark!
-You're a fucking moron.
-The hell I did!
-The hell you didn't!
-The hell I did!
-You said one in two marriages end in divorce.
-Nope.
-Your ideas never work out.
-I don't hate women.
-You hate women.
-False.
-True.
-Not true.
-You have a King fantasy.
-I am a lover. In Africa, you can stay king as long as you can service your women every night.
-And what happens when you can't?
-If I'm the king of Israel, I say to myself, King, I say to myself, King... Take a good look around. What do I see?
-Israel doesn't have a King.
-Then what do they have?
-They have a president. A Benjamin Yahoo something.
-I say to myself, look at the map. Look what's all around you. People who wish bad bad things for you and your people. For thousands of years the Jews are fighting everybody. It used to be they'd throw rocks, then the iron revolution and they would attack with spears. Then the gunpowder revolution. Now they're shooting fire power back and forth, all day
-What's your point?
-Now if I'm the King of Israel and all these sand niggers are armed to the gills and you know it's just a matter of time ...right? Am I right?
-The Israelis can protect themselves. They got the Mossad thing happening. Mossad's for real, man. They scalp babies.
-There's my point exactly.
-What? What's your point?
-Take Mexico.
-What?
-The Mexicans would love it. They're dying for a little order down there. They need direction.
-They need leadership.
-A little gut check time fellas. A time for some serious self-exploration. How do I function? For real? No more bullshit. Can I keep my cool when they bounce my bananas? When they won't play my fucking song? etc, etc. Do you get me? Do you get me?
-Not really, no.
-Oh that's just nothing. That's just a missing persons thing, that's all.
-You said nobody would miss her.
-This is going to stop right now. Right now!
-The need to know is clear. What did Adam tell Lois? That's the name of the game. What did Adam tell Lois? What does Lois know?
-Ball park sausages.
-You want some breakfast meat. Micheal. Is that what you want?
-Franco Harris has a flare for the dramatic. The former Pittsburgh Steeler running back, beat known for "The Immaculate Reception," his improbable sixty yard Ricochet Reception. I say Ricochet Reception has made a bold move on corporate America. Harris has lead a group of investors in the purchase of the Park Sausage Company. By taking on the challenge of resurrecting Park's, Harris is engaged
-Easy Micheal.
-We're goosed.
-We're goosed! Goosed by God!
-Stop it!
-Stop.
-Goosed!
-Okay Micheal, let's go. Upsy daisy big guy.
-How about my Fatburger?
-Come on tough guy. Listen to me. You are going to tell Lois that it was all an accident. Okay cowboy? You got me?
-Yea...It's great...seems like...I don't know you've got all the important stuff in there.
-All right then. It's refreshing to see two young people not afraid of real commitment. Will you have friends or family saying words - singing or anything?
-Are we supposed to?
-May we have the rings please?
-What?
-These rings represent the commitment Fisher and Liz make to each other on the day. Fisher do you take Liz to be your beloved wife, to respect, honor and cherish till death do you part?
-This is ridiculous.
-Government cutbacks.
-Why can't we do it through the mail?
-We missed the deadline.
-Can't we do it on the phone?
-Why is this Kid staring at me?
-Did you send in all of the deposit checks?
-I think so.
-What do you mean, you think so?
-I sent a lot of checks, I'm not sure what all of them are.
-The wedding cake check?
-Sent it.
-Photographer?
-Sent it.
-Florist?
-Yup.
-Caterer?
-Yes.
-Hotel for my parents, the tent, the band, the Judge...
-I think I forgot the tent.
-You forgot the tent?
-I think so.
-Why?
-Why what?
-Why did you forget the tent check?
-I didn't mean to Liz. I'm sorry.
-You can't play around with these tent people.
-I'm not playing around. I forgot.
-What else have you forgot?
-How could I know what else I forgot?
-I'm working my ass off here. I've taken care of absolutely everything Keith.
-Because you wanted to. You wanted this to be your wedding not your parent's.
-Don't you dare.
-What?
-Stop it. I'm sorry.
-You know how important this is to my mother. You know that.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry I forgot the tent. I don't think I forgot anything else.
-I bet you didn't forget the bachelor party checks.
-Are we going to do this again?
-I'm just saying I bet those checks all found the mailboxes.
-I wouldn't know.
-It amazes me how organized you and your little fun bunch can be when it comes time to mobilize to Vegas.
-They organized this, not me. I have nothing to do with it.
-Well it's bad timing.
-How do you figure?
-Right before the wedding?
-It's a bachelor party. You sort of have to do it before the wedding.
-I suppose Boyd is the creative force behind all this.
-He is.
-He's a moron.
-He's my friend. He's not a moron.
-Why do you feel the need to explore this side of your personality?
-What are you talking about?
-I'm talking about the kind of people you hang out with...about growing up, assuming responsibility of yourself.
-I asked you to marry me. I'm ready for marriage. That's responsibility. That's growth.
-I just think that at some point you're going to have to re-evaluate some of your friendships...
-Who else?
-Charles Moore for instants.
-You don't like Moore? Since when?
-It's not that I don't like him. But the wedding has really got me thinking and... I just keep myself opening up. Crowning. And I want you keeping up with me here.
-What does Moore have to do with your growing?
-I just don't see him in the big picture.
-I've known him since Cub Scouts.
-He's weird.
-He's quiet.
-He just doesn't talk a lot.
-Why? What's his problem?
-He's a great chef.
-He's weird. And I expect more from you.
-You expect more what?
-You're going to be hungover for three days. Like those guys on "Oprah" that get drunk and have disgusting sex with prostitutes and then say their vows with the stench of cheap hotel whore sex all over them.
-Time out.
-That's absurd.
-I've seen it on television.
-I'm not going to marry you with the smell of prostitutes on my body.
-I am not common Keith. I am not common. I am a creature like no other and I will not be commoned! Is that to much to ask? Is that to much to ask!?!
-Do you love me?
-Of course.
-How much?
-With all my heart.
-We've got problems here.
-Seating problems.
-Okay.
-Keith do not trivialize this.
-I'm not. What's the problem?
-We're supposed to have gold-trimmed padded seats, now they're telling me that there was a mistake and we can't have padded.
-What kind of seats can we have?
-Not padded ones.
-So what do we do?
-You go down there.
-Go down where?
-Go down to the seat place and straighten this out.
-Honey I don't have the time...
-I need your help.
-We're leaving in three hours.
-I need your help.
-I'll call them from the road.
-Do you love me?
-More than I ever imagined being able to love anyone ever.
-Take care of those chairs.
-We're leaving from Adam's. Come send me off.
-Will you please call the chair people?
-I will.
-Do you love me?
-Of course.
-Just call and let me know that your okay.
-I love you.
-Hello.
-Hi. Are you calling from jail?
-Not yet.
-Well, the night is young. Did you straighten out the chair situation?
-I'm working on it, I've made three calls. I can't stop thinking about how much I love you.
-That's sweet.
-Well I do.
-Well you should.
-What are you doing?
-Just a bit of organizing.
-Nesting?
-Yeah. Nesting.
-I'm mad at you.
-Go have fun. Not too much.
-Hello.
-Hey. It's me.
-Where are you?
-We're on our way home. I just...we're running a little late.
-How late?
-No. Just like an hour or so.
-What about the chairs?
-Okay.
-What okay?
-What!
-The chairs.
-I left a message. I think it's going to be okay.
-You sound funny. Did you do cocaine?
-What's the word on the chairs?
-I'm working on it.
-"Darli...ing you, ewe ewe ewe, send me, Darli...ing you, ewe ewe ewe, mend me.
-This is our honeymoon.
-Yeah baby. Everything's great.
-Well, can you come back inside?
-Yeah. Sure.
-Now?
-Everything's OK. Just some more preparations.
-Are they fighting?
-Cancel?! Cancel?! Are you out of your fucking mind?!
-Nobody's saying cancel. I'm talking about modifying.
-No way.
-Can we just talk this out?
-Lois is a mess and Micheal's really upset. Everyone's upset.
-We're not canceling.
-I know.
-I won't even discuss it.
-No one's discussing it. I'm just gonna run Micheal home. I'll be right back.
-I need you to pick up the cake tomorrow.
-Don't we already have someone to do that for us?
-Yeah. You.
-That means we get five hundred thousand to help raise the kids.
-No.
-It's okay...It's okay baby. Cry for Mama. Cry for Mama.
-Cry for Boom Boom. It's okay.
-Liz we've got to cancel, we have to put it off.
-Don't even.
-Do you love me?
-What?
-Do you love me?
-What kind of stupid question is that?
-Oh God. We. Liz. We. We. Killed a woman. We...
-What are you talking about?
-Oh Liz. We. God. We, in Vegas. Micheal crushed her skull. She was dead. There was nothing else to do. It was an accident.
-Who's dead?
-The prostitute.
-You fucked a prostitute?
-No Micheal did. It was an accident.
-You killed a prostitute.
-Micheal, by accident.
-Call the police.
-It's too late.
-My God. You've got to call the police, tell them it was an accident. Where is she?
-She's in the desert. She's out in the desert.
-You left a dead prostitute out in the desert? Alone?
-She's not alone...She's...Boyd...Oh God...He's gone nuts...He killed Lois and Micheal...it's all...
-Stop! You stop right here. I don't want to know anymore. I told you not to do this Bachelor Party thing. You were warned.
-But...
-No buts. I told you your friends were Jackasses.
-But...
-I told Boyd two fucking minutes!
-He kept saying he was protected.
-What does that mean?
-Like if something happened to him, he could still get us.
-Like how?
-I don't know. He could have told someone. He could have, like in the event of his death, somehow let someone know where those bodies are buried.
-The only proof is those bodies.
-So what do we do?
-Move the bodies.
-I...Liz...all I ever wanted, was for you to be happy. I just wanted to give you the wedding, the life you always dreamed of... ...I just love you so much...So much...
-You and Moore move the bodies and bury Boyd with them. In fact, put Moore in the ground too.
-What?
-If you don't tie up all the loose ends it'll never be over.
-No...
-You put him down or don't bother coming back.
-But...
-I wanted to just take this final opportunity to visit with you. You know, just to be with you, father and son, before you run off and do your own husband, daddy thing. I'm just so Goddamn proud of you...God knows I didn't always play it right with you...
-You did all right dad.
-I could have done it better. I'm a fucking ball-buster I am.
-You never walked away dad. You could have walked away.
-I'm just so scared of that song. That fucking, "My son just arrived the other day...he says thanks for the ball, come on let's play. I got lots of bills come again next day. He's grown up just like me...My boy is just like me." Gordon fucking Lightfoot, Cat Stevens, whoever, that song just fucking kills me.
-Harry Chaplin. "Cats in the Cradle."
-Just kills me...
-I love you dad.
-Everything okay?
-Yeah, Dad. It's great.
-Well, I'm in the middle of my Goddamn toast here.
-That's just insecurity.
-I don't know. She's really been stressing out.
-Just insecurity. Nut crunching gut splinters.
-What does that mean?
-It means she's insecure.
-Mike Brenn. Yes. Yes. 14.3 at 7.5 for 6. At 29.83 at 9. I'm amazed the windows don't blow out of their fucking sockets with all the repressed, ass-puckering rage in these soul-less lizards.
-I just want her to be happy.
-I'm not breathing right.
-You're not breathing right?
-I don't care for him.
-He's your brother.
-I'll take a ride.
-Go for it.
-I'm getting married...
-Dear God...I don't know how to pray.
-Where did you get that?
-Do you hear buzzing Fish?
-Buzzing?
-Yeah. I got some kind of buzzing. Like a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz thing just chipping away in the back of my skull.
-I don't hear it.
-Yeah, well, it's a nasty problem.
-Dad used to bring home these sparklers to me and Adam. Out back we'd light 'em up. The three of us. We'd hold 'em up to the sky and watch the explosions of light. Sparks. And dad would be all... "Get ready"..."watch for it"..."here it comes," here comes the "wahoo".
-The wahoo?
-The sparkler would burn hot, then hotter, then even hotter...and there would be one moment of pure burn when that little fucker would cook just perfect. Perfect. It would only last a second, but that second was it. It was it. That's what dad had us looking for...You get me?
-The wahoo moment?
-That's my point! You see Man...burning at his absolute. To see all the forces just come together, just right, you know, just in perfect harmony. That's what I'm driving at. You get me?
-I think so.
-I appreciate it. I do, but...Maybe you ought to just ease up om yourself a bit.
-If I was to think...If I were to think... No I mean I have thinked it over...I have. And without putting a lot of pressure on you I just...Well I just...
-What is it?
-That ought to be about the end of that.
-No...No.
-Boyd...I don't know man...It just seems to me that ever since you took Tony Robbins self-help thing...you're all fucked-up in the head.
-The first day.
-I told her that I have no idea what Adam was talking about in that letter.
-Did she believe you?
-I have no idea.
-You can tell when people believe you. It's obvious.
-I'm thinking about maybe making a move.
-A move?
-Greenpeace.
-Greenpeace?
-Where's Boyd?
-He came to me early today, was talking about money, insurance money. Said he was gonna get what was his.
-My God...
-He said he was the Brain Trust. Said he was smarter than all of us. He started reading "Atlas Shrugged," staring at himself in the mirror.
-Did he try to kiss you?
-You alright?
-Yeah. I'm thinking about Micheal's Franco Harris fixation. You know how Micheal was always harping "Immaculate Reception?" I've seen that play. A lot of times...and I have to say this... Franco was lucky. Flat out, right place, right time. That's it. He was where the ball bounced. You get me?
-I guess.
-I'm saying it's luck. All luck. You work your entire life, all the training, focus, all the dedication, all irrelevant. Where does the ball bounce? My father spent his whole life trying to start a company, practiced every day, worked like a dog, finally got enough money. He's paid the dues, he's ready, does all the market research, picks his shot - "Pup Corn."
-Pup corn?
-There.
-Yeah?
-I think there's a lot of truth in that. I'm gonna pursue some options. I want to join that Big Brother thing.
-That's a good one.
-I think you'd make an excellent Big Brother.
-Well that ought to be about the end of that.
-We don't say "love, honor and obey" anymore. And we don't say "till death do us part." Today we say, "respect, honor and cherish, as long as you both do love." How does that sound?
-We don't think so. I mean, we just want the singing when I come out.
-Okay great. What will that be?
-We're just going to have the leader of the band sing alone with his guitar. Acoustic.
-What song?
-"You Send Me."
-Oh I know that. How does it go...
-Liz do you take Fisher to be your beloved husband, to respect, honor and cherish him till death do you part?
-...We will compare these before photos with whatever form of degeneration presented to us in 24 hours, no matter how low, how vile...
-...embarrassing, shameful...
-...regression of Modern Man to his most primitive, ape-like state...
-The stone age.
-The post-Vegas Man.
-A mutant species.
-I love it. I just love, love, love, love it.
-Are you guys gonna fill this place with kids? You sure got room for them.
-We're in no hurry. I think we'll take some time to enjoy each other, enjoy our freedom before we surrender ourselves to kids.
-Take your time. I wish I had.
-We will.
-Smart. Smart. Smart. Think big picture, take your time. I wish I had.
-That's our plan.
-Good times.
-She's dead.
-Fucking desert.
-Right.
-Shut up Micheal.
-You see for me it's over. Over baby. I'm gonna turn myself in. After the wedding of course. After the wedding. Out of respect.
-I don't think that's a good idea.
-I'll come to you tonight.
-No, the children sleep with me.
-Give them to Refugio.
-No, I don't want to because they yell. And I've got news for you too.
-Keep quiet. These miserable brats only get in the way.
-Didn't you say you know how to make vanilla pudding?
-Stop this, stop this.
-Where's the camera?
-So much the better. We'll all fit. How many floors are there?
-Two.
-Are there many windows?
-Lots. It's got balconies and two big towers.
-When I wasn't so miserable I used to sell pigs. Begging your pardon, I was more honest than my holy Mother.
-No, miss. Smoking makes him spit and feel ill.
-They've got a real hen house here! You can't hear yourself speak.
-Don Amalio!
-What's that?
-Enedina and Paco ...
-What about them?
-Which couch?
-Take me there.
-Yes, Uncle. How are you?
-I'm well ... The bus was late, wasn't it? ... What was the journey like?
-Excellent. What a charming, peaceful place, Uncle.
-How long are you staying?
-A very short while, Uncle. I've been given permission to stay only a few days.
-Was that difficult to get?
-Did you have so little interest in seeing me?
-To tell you the truth, not very much. I cannot lie. I respect you and I am grateful to you because I owe you everything materially, but otherwise ...
-You have no feelings toward ...
-You've been neglecting the farm, Uncle.
-Come down here, you scamp.
-Who is she?
-My maid Ramona's daughter. She's a little animal.
-How like your aunt you are, even in your walk.
-I know, Uncle, you've told me that already.
-I'm going to make you a nun's cake. It will make your mouth water.
-You are spoiling me too much. I won't know what to do with myself when you've gone.
-What do you mean?
-How did you know about that?
-Oh, some years ago I heard my mother talking about it. But is it true?
-Yes, it is.
-Don't you ever see him?
-Never.
-How could anybody behave like that?
-Sometimes these things happen because of inexperience. Sometimes it's because of...
-Evil.
-His mother wanted to keep him. She came from a poor family. I was in love with your aunt. I would like to have acknowledged him but I was afraid of losing her. That's why I didn't say anything.
-And this innocent child.
-You must think I am a monster.
-No, Uncle; ashes mean penance and death.
-If you like, I will come with you tomorrow to the village when you leave.
-This evening we must do something special by way of a farewell.
-I should like you to do something for me. It's an innocent sort of thing but I'm very set on it.
-How strange you are! When I asked you to do this favor for me you refused. You seemed almost offended. And now, here you are, making me so very happy all of a sudden. Thank you, my child!
-You must think I'm mad.
-If you only knew ... When I was young I was full of idealism. I wanted to do something on a big scale for others, something to show my great love for humanity. But as soon as I tried to do something about it, I became afraid that I would be laughed at and I felt like a fool ... and so I went
-Wasn't that cowardice?
-Uncle, you mustn't think that I won't be sad to leave you.
-Unfortunately ...
-It's my fault. If I'd come to see you more often, if I'd invited you here for holidays, maybe everything would be different.
-Yes, I don't want you ever to leave this house.
-Leave us alone, Ramona.
-You're lying.
-Think about it. Don't hurry. Think it over.
-Let me pass!
-You must listen to me before you go.
-All that I said just now was a lie. I said it so you wouldn't leave. I only molested you in my thoughts ... I can't bear to have you leave me, hating me like this. Tell me you believe what I'm saying and I'll let you go.
-You disgust me... even if what you say is true.
-Leave me now. You can go to bed.
-Why don't you ask her to stay on for a few days?
-Sit down, I'm going to need your help.
-Sit down, woman, sit down. You like me, don't you?
-I'd be really ungrateful, if I didn't like you, sir; you took me and my little girl in when I didn't know where to turn.
-Yes, yes, but there's no need to bring that up. How far are you prepared to help me?
-Why don't you speak to her, Ramona? Women are good at that sort of thing. Think of something that will make her stay a few more days. You are kind, Ramona! Speak to her. I know I don't need to offer you anything, but, if you're successful in this, I'll not forget you or your little girl.
-The way she looked at me, Ramona! She hates me now. I think I've made a great mistake. She's going away, she's going away and nothing will stop her.
-Speak to her again. Explain everything to her seriously.
-What for? She'll only look at me that way again ... I couldn't. You go. Perhaps she'll listen to you. Try to convince her.
-But what can I say to her, sir?
-You believe me, don't you?
-Don't lie. You don't believe me either.
-What will the lady say?
-She won't even know.
-Is it all right?
-Yes.
-They told us you'd be back tomorrow ...
-How much is that?
-Fifteen yards.
-That's fifteen by seven?
-That's it.
-Have you thought of what you want planted yet?
-The fields have been left so long; with a good manuring anything will grow.
-It's for wheat. We've always grown maize in the strip above the vegetables.
-And in the vegetable plot?
-Hold on, Ramon! Is there time to make another trip?
-No, sir, it's nearly six o'clock. Okay, let's get a move on! When are you leaving?
-Me?
-It won't take but a minute. It's a votive offering for a lady who was cured just when she was dying of fever. Our Lady of the Helpless granted her a favor.
-It's very good.
-Thank you; but it's missing something.
-My God, what have you done to him!
-He was asking for it.
-Ramona! Ramona!
-Not in that way; you're always looking for company.
-What's the matter with you?
-Nothing.
-Why the bad temper?
-She's mad.
-No, not mad at all: she's rotten with religion.
-So, Ramona!
-If you wake first, wake me up.
-What I do every day, but I want to do it earlier.
-Shouldn't I be? You, on the other hand ...
-I'm bored. I'm alone all day and I don't know what to do.
-What are you thinking about?
-She isn't my cousin.
-How in hell does it wind up?
-I think I'd better go tomorrow.
-You see how much you like her?
-Maybe afterwards he'll let me ...
-Me, rich? Come on!
-I don't want you to untie me. Kill him and then I'll give you the money.
-Where's the dough?
-Kill him.
-He was very good. Better than some people would think.
-I don't know, sir.
-And this chest?
-I don't know; I can't remember. But I'm sure he loved you.
-Why?
-You wouldn't be here otherwise.
-I don't know -- they've always been there.
-Miss Viridiana ...
-Jorge, Don Jaime's son, at your service.
-Jorge. You frightened me. What's happening to you?
-It's about time we spoke to each other, isn't it?
-Well... is it so urgent?
-I don't know anything about these things, Jorge ...
-But you have a right to let us know what you think.
-What do you know about me?
-I know that you used to work with an architect.
-I don't understand how you can like being alone so much.
-What are you doing here? Get out.
-Leave him alone.
-You won't get much done with those people. Those times are over! You ought to let me kick them out.
-Do they worry you that much, then?
-There's no point in helping some of them when there are so many others.
-I know perfectly well how little I can do. What I want to do is give passing beggars a roof, some food, and a bit of human warmth.
-Is that all you're going to devote your life to?
-Are they going to work here too?
-Don't forget the meeting with the lawyer. The car will pick you up tomorrow morning.
-I'll be ready.
-Yes. Why?
-And ...your friend?
-She's left.
-Is she coming back?
-No.
-It's for people!
-Then let him go and he'll follow you.
-He's good at rabbiting and he knows it. When we're in the country, if he doesn't hunt he doesn't get fed.
-How much do you want for him?
-And remember, the less he eats, the better he runs.
-What's he called?
-They're varicose veins, miss, but some days I can't take care of them.
-Are you sure it isn't contagious?
-They're varicose veins. It isn't leprosy.
-How are you today?
-Things seem to be getting better.
-Are your parents alive?
-Parents? Nobody cares a damn, what's the use of them!
-Don't say that.
-You'll soon find out, you liar!
-Stop this!
-How do you do, Miss Viridiana!
-Is anything the matter, Mr. Mayor?
-You cannot leave ...
-Why not?
-There's been an accident.
-Where?
-Why are you crying?
-I'm afraid.
-Don't invent stories; go to bed.
-A black bull came.
-It's a very big one.
-Very, very?
-Yes -- very, very big!
-He came in through the cupboard.
-I'll box your ears if you don't show some respect for the dead! You mustn't play under this tree.
-Have you repaired the windows of the dormitories?
-What's going on, Moncho?
-In you go! Moncho, lead the way! You stay here.
-You have decided to leave, Moncho.
-Yes!
-Mother?
-I've just had a letter from your uncle. He won't be able to come when you take your vows.
-I hardly know him. I saw him only once, some years ago. I can't even remember him.
-In any case he's asking you to come and stay with him.
-I don't want to leave the convent, Mother.
-But why does he want to see me? He has never bothered about me.
-I have no desire to see the world again, but if you order me to...
-Good morning. You weren't expecting me, were you?
-Ever since yesterday, when we heard by chance about the tragedy, we have been very anxious for you. Why didn't you write? I would have come immediately.
-I had so many things to think about!
-Is there some grave impediment which prevents you from taking your vows? There must be something.
-I have nothing to reproach myself for. All I know is that I've changed. With all my strength, which is not much, I will follow the road that the Lord has shown me. One can also serve outside a convent.
-Forgive me if I have offended you.
-Give the little girl to me. Come here, sweetheart. Are you ready?
-When you are, miss.
-Don't talk like that!
-Would you mind telling me what I did wrong to you to deserve your insults?
-I've had a gutful of this.
-She has the face of an angel. What a pity you can't see her.
-What about you, Manuel?
-I'm only good at making people laugh.
-She looks like a sick marrow!
-Ask the priest, miss.
-Welcome, miss. I'm Ramona, Don Jaime's servant.
-How do you feel?
-I have a headache.
-What happened to me?
-You fainted last night after supper. The master and I carried you here.
-Have I slept long?
-Hello.
-Good morning, Rita. How are we today?
-Today, a good girl.
-What?
-How did you see me?
-From the terrace.
-I'm going to the hen house. Are you coming with me?
-) Daryl Lindenmeyer was only here briefly, one semester at most. But he was singularly the most brilliant student I ever had in a classroom. He created programs so beautiful, so lyrical, they were almost like symphonies...
-Can you tell us what's on the disc?
-In English, please.
-It was very well—hidden. There was no way to see it until it was too late.
-It's not your fault. We appreciate you trying.
-You son-of—a—bitch, I'm going to kill you.
-I'm sorry, I thought you were somebody else.
-I've discovered something about Lindenmeyer'5 Maestro teaching tool I thought you should know... The harm done to the music students who used the device —— it was not by accident. The machine was designed explicitly for that purpose. Lindenmeyer intended to hurt the kids using it.
-My first two pairs of convicts suffered the same fate.
-We don't know how, but Sid 6.7 made himself into an android.
-You mean a nano—tech synthetic organism.
-Recognize this? How would you like your old job back?
-This is the newest technology approved for general implementation. It's called a locater implant. Every parolee gets one. We're going to know where you are every second for the rest of your life.
-If you try to run, I'll hunt you down and kill you myself.
-There's already a task force out looking for Lindenmeyer. Every other officer in the city will be hunting Sid right along with you.
-What are they doing in Los Feliz?
-Madison lives two blocks from their present location.
-Why would they be going there?
-I don't know.
-Barnes wouldn't kill two innocent guards.
-He would slaughter eight people sitting in a room, but not two prison guards?
-Do I need to remind you what happened to his wife? To his daughter? I will stake my reputation that Barnes didn't kill those guards.
-You all right?
-Why'd.. .you pull me out?
-What the hell did you have to shoot the busboy for?
-He was a computer program for crissake.
-You were supposed to act as if everything was real.
-Real, my ass. It's an overblown game. Anybody ever catch that fucking psycho?
-Before you, nobody else had gotten close enough to Sid 6.7 to take a shot at him. Hell, nobody else had even been able to start tracking him before he got to them first. New scar —— you making it okay in there?
-But with the six months off I get for being your guinea pig, I've only got to survive another 17 years, 5 months, and 23 days.
-Don't give up, Parker. Not ever.
-You know those cheesy Christmas cards of your family under that tree in your back yard you keep sending me every year?
-What about them?
-You're wasting your time. I'm not going to play any more of your goddam games.
-Parker Barnes, I'd like you to meet Crime Czar Elizabeth Deane.
-These were taken inside LETAC an hour ago. Pretty pictures, aren't they?
-I've seen worse.
-Jesus Christ. Can you kill it?
-She's going to help you understand what makes Sid 6.7 tick.
-This is the personnel file on the programmer, Lindenmeyer. There might be something in it you can use.
-She wasn't part of the deal, Cox.
-Officers in Toluca Lake just found an affluent couple...completely gutted. So were the first two cops to arrive on scene.
-Their weapons missing?
-Sid 6.7 is now armed.
-Don't worry, they have no idea where you are.
-She saved your life, Parker. She didn't have to, but she did.
-When this is over, will you get this goddam thing out of my head?
-On my life, I promise you I will.
-... illegal search of Lindenmeyer' s duplex. Eleven civilian vehicles damaged or destroyed. Twenty—four citizen complaints. And the calls are just starting to come in... I forgot what it's like to have you on the streets.
-Any sign of Lindenmeyer?
-None. He could be hiding, he could be helping Sid, or could be in little pieces on Santa Monica beach. Any idea what Sid's going to do next?
-Until we know what new influences are affecting him, we can't be sure.
-I should have told him.
-Don't blame yourself. In your shoes, I don't think I would have told Parker, either. So do you think Grimes has become the dominant personality?
-I'm not sure. My guess is that's what Sid wants us to think.
-You think he's smart?
-There is no way Parker killed those guards. No way.
-I think we both know who did. What's so urgent?
-Why didn't anybody tell me?!
-Give me 30 seconds, then flip every switch you can reach.
-Ms. Deane, you wanted to see me?
-We have an emergency situation which requires somebody with expertise in criminal psychology. Under the authority vested in me by the President, I'm giving you temporary re—assignment.
-What's the assignment?
-That's also where Mr. Barnes lost his arms to Mathew Grimes' booby— trap. What's your point, Dr. Carter?
-Letting a lunatic like Parker Barnes loose in the free world is like lighting a fuse. At some point, he will go off -- you saw what happened in the simulator. The risk to the public is unacceptably dangerous.
-Not if you're with him every step of the way.
-The man played judge, jury, and executioner with eight people's lives. He lost control and is capable of doing it again.
-I watched your simulation, Mr. Barnes. Very impressive. You know, you're the only one to ever go up against Sid 6.7 who is still alive.
-Only because I got pulled out early.
-Think you can do it?
-Not from in here.
-What happens if I can't catch him?
-If Sid 6.7 hasn't killed you, we throw you back in here and you serve out the rest of your sentence.
-Barnes, where the hell have you been?!
-Trying to find out where the bomb is. Where the hell have you been?
-What did you find out?
-Call off the manhunt looking for me. I didn't kill the transport guards.
-It's already been called off. Witnesses confirmed you weren't the shooter. Did you find out where the bomb is?
-No, but I've confirmed the reelection rally is the target. How much C-4 is missing?
-Enough to level an entire city block.
-If I were you, I'd get every demolition team in the city searching in and around the Biltmore Hotel.
-Demolition teams have searched everywhere in and around the hotel. I don't know where...
-Sid is smart enough to know you'd check everywhere in the immediate area. Whatever the device is, he's probably got it timed to move into position just before it detonates. Have the demo teams check every subway tunnel, water pipe, gas pipe, and sewer pipe that goes under, over, or into the arena.
-You know how much man power you're talking about?
-This better not be a wild goose chase.
-Or what, you'll authorize my death a second time today?
-What did Cox pull him out early for?
-Barnes used to work for him when he was still a cop in the field, remember?
-What the hell happened?
-Lindenmeyer developed neural connectors that tap directly into the nervous system. If the simulator isn't calibrated properly, experiencing death in this level of VR is like experiencing death within a dream. The experience becomes real.
-Simulations are supposed to give participants practice in realistic, dangerous scenarios while protecting them from the risks they are exposed to in the real world.
-It makes me nervous just seeing him in a uniform. I will never forget the first time I saw the photos from the crime scene.
-You embarrassed me in front of the highest—ranking law enforcement official in the country. Do you have any idea how much money you just cost me?
-The reason you insisted on testing my system with prisoners is because of the increased risks involved with increased realism.
-Of the six prison inmates you've tested —— all of whom have had at least some military or survival training -— only Mr. Barnes is still breathing.
-I'm still making adjustments...
-You've had a year—and—a—half to make all the adjustments you want, Lindenmeyer. ) Elizabeth Deane does not give second chances. Neither do I. You're fired.
-I'M WHAT?!
-You are to turn over the Sid 6.7 program, and all its documentation, for immediate destruction. Is that understood?
-How does he know who I am?
-He hears...everything.
-HEY!!!
-Show's over unless I get to see what you've been working on after hours.
-I haven't been working on anything.
-Do I get to see it or not?
-Get that fucking thing away from me!
-Watching your VR people Auto Reset gave me the idea.
-It's nano—technology, isn't it? Machines the size of molecules...
-Coordinated by polymer neural net.
-It feels so.. .real.
-It's better than real. It's synthetic flesh. Synthetic blood. Synthetic organs... It's a physiological machine.
-This is supposed to be years away.
-As far as the public is concerned, it is. The reason you got fired, and I got my second demo into production, is I'm a lot smarter than you. I never give my best stuff away.
-How do you kill it?
-... and you get nano—death. Don't worry, I've got a bunch of other ones.
-Amazing. I hate to say it, but it is.
-You need a maid.
-I told you this would work.. By setting back the clocks, he has absolutely no idea he's in virtual reality. He still thinks he's in the real world.
-What's wrong with Parker?
-How should I know?
-I wonder how that...
-He's developing a hemisphere imbalance.
-Talk so I can understand.
-If I don't adjust the level of neural information each side of his brain is receiving, he won't be able to walk when I take him out of VR.
-Don't be angry with me, Daryl.
-Did you recognize the son-of-a bitch who got away?
-Should I have?
-All they want to produce around here is mediocrity!
-True genius is rarely rewarded within its lifetime.
-It was you, wasn't it?
-It was me, what?
-You amped the neural connectors back up, didn't you? You're the reason the convict died. You're the reason I got fired!
-I couldn't just let them make you bring down my degree of difficulty. I'm a triple-twisting, double back flip off the high platform, not a swan dive.
-My God...
-Which God would that be, the one who created me, or the one who created you? In your world, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. But in my world, the one who gave me life doesn't have the balls to stop a couple of bureaucratic assholes from taking it away.
-What do you expect me to do, put your character module in my pocket and just walk you out of here?
-She's some of your finest work, Daryl.
-You catching my drift?
-SID —— NO!!!
-I am beautiful, aren't I?
-How can I ever thank—you for bringing me back to life a second time, Daryl?
-Help me get out of here.
-You made me a composite of 183 of the most vicious people who ever lived. What do you think I'm doing?
-I'm begging you...please don't kill me! Please!
-You actually listen to all those tapes?
-No, I just like the effect a tape recorder has on you. How you feeling today?
-A little less than yesterday.
-In other words, par for the course. How do you feel about the simulation you participated in yesterday?
-John died.
-I know. I was there. I saw the whole thing. If I was your therapist, I would have advised you against putting yourself back into that kind of situation.
-You're not my therapist. You're hear to study me. Face it —— I'm nothing more than a lab rat to you.
-That's not true, Parker.
-If I had died yesterday, you'd have already dissected my brain and analyzed it to see if I carry any genetic predisposition toward violence.
-What was going through your mind when you killed the busboy?
-Not much. He was just a computer program. Nothing more.
-You didn't see the expression you had on your face when you pulled the trigger. But I did. You kind of liked it, didn't you? That thrill of going over the edge again. Of taking out an innocent bystander or two, as long as you got the target...
-Go to hell.
-It was just like before, wasn't it? Wasn't it? But you are making progress. Instead of killing seven people to get the one you're after, this time there was only one other person involved.
-I need to know what snapped in you. What made you capable of it. You have to make me understand.
-I don't need a baby—sitter.
-Every day for the last five years, I told myself someday I would be out here again. No more bars. No more guards. No more fights just to stay alive. Every day for the last five years, I told myself that lie.
-It wasn't a lie.
-You all right?
-You ready for this?
-He was re—enacting Charles Manson's LaBianca murders.
-Manson didn't kill the first cops to arrive on the scene.
-Whoever did this wanted to do Charlie one better —— to improve upon what was already done.
-Charlie? You say that like you're close, personal friends.
-I've spent over 50 hours interviewing him. Charlie killed Leno and Rosemary LaBianca because of the ugly way the members of his family had butchered Sharon Tate. After seeing the blood bath on television, he wanted to show them how it should be done. The question is, what does Charlie have to do with Sid 6.7?
-Learn anything from Lindenmeyer's file?
-He had a twin brother who was a musical child prodigy who died in an electrical accident at age eight. Lindenmeyer went into an emotional shell until was 17. All he did day and night was play the violin.
-What happened when he was 17?
-You've got a problem with me carrying a gun?
-What are you doing?
-Checking my pulse. It's elevated. You enjoy frightening me, don't you?
-This Lindenmeyer's a real piece of work.
-I'm surprised you didn't write one about me.
-Remember a few years ago when music schools were using a computerized teaching tool that accidently started frying kids' brains?
-I've been in prison, remember?
-The government must have figured there was no better person to create a psycho than a psycho.
-I am the demon from the bottomless pit...
-... here on earth to create havoc and terror. I am War, I am death. I am destruction. David Berkowitz, 1977.
-I am impressed.
-For murder, though it have no tongue, will speak with most miraculous organ.
-Who said that?
-Hamlet. What's David Berkowitz got to do with Sid 6.7?
-Lindenmeyer put increasingly complex combinations of criminal psychological profiles together to develop the ultimate villain.
-Creating a whole far more dangerous than the sum of its parts.
-This is getting you pumped up, isn't it? This is like the World Series to you.
-Remember the bowling ball bag Sid carried with him in virtual reality?
-Dahmer carried the head of one of his victims in a bowling bag for over a week. Kept it in his locker while he was at work in a candy factory. We need to get a look at Sid 6.7's final profile.
-What we need to do is stop playing with computers and go catch the son—of-a-bitch before he kills anybody else.
-Give me your wrist.
-Give me a goddam break. I'm not going to go anywhere alone.
-Told you I wasn't going to go anywhere.
-Why didn't you tell me you had a daughter?
-I prefer keeping my professional life separate from my personal life.
-She's beautiful, you know?
-Want to tell me the real reason we stopped at your house?
-I told you, it was on the way and I wanted to change clothes.
-You should practice lying more often. You're awful at it. Where to?
-Sid 6.7 is no longer bound by his programming.
-What does that mean?
-Now that he's in the real world, there are no longer limitations on his behavior like there were in virtual reality. Sid is going to evolve.
-Sounds to me like a well—educated way of saying you have no idea what to do next.
-What I do know is that whatever he's becoming, Sid 6.7 is going to be even worse than he was before.
-I forgot what real coffee tastes like...
-You know, considering you've only been out of prison for seven hours, you're re—adapting quite well. Wait, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I meant...
-Don't worry about it, all right?
-Dammit, I hate sounding so clinical all the time. All I meant to say was I thought you were doing well, but then I...
-Relax. I know what you meant.
-I ruin so many moments by analyzing them when I should just be living them.
-Don't get out of the car.
-What the hell's going on?!
-What did you do to those people?
-Being on the street's a little different than sitting in an office all day, isn't it?
-Enjoying yourself?
-You know I am.
-This isn't a game, Parker!
-What's the problem?
-Whatever he was doing here was only the start.
-Start of what?
-It's not just Sid 6.7's performances that are increasing. Stars need bigger and bigger audiences. Whatever Sid is going to do next, it's going to involve media.
-Real effective security...
-You could have just flashed him your badge, you know?
-Which way?
-Parker -— stop! STOP! Don't make me shoot you——
-Grimes is back! He's back! He's come back!!!
-We know you didn't kill those guards.
-He didn't know about the neural toxin. I did.
-How did you find out about the toxin?
-Sid 6.7 told me after he killed the two guards. He suggested I kill you rather than him.
-You're not capable of it.
-I pose an unacceptable danger to the public, remember?
-The rally's a little obvious as a target, don't you think?
-I told you before, Grimes liked to be obvious.
-Sid 6.7 isn't Grimes.
-If we find Sid, Lindenmeyer won't be far behind.
-Think he's keeping track of his creation?
-See something?
-Nice work.
-Find out anything?
-Can I ask you something?
-You mean there's something you haven't asked me?
-You've already fulfilled the terms of your pardon. You stopped Sid 6.7 and you've got his module. You're free to go —— right now. Why are you going to do this?
-You don't know?
-That's why I'm asking.
-You okay?
-...I think so...You?
-More or less.
-Lindenmeyer?
-My guess is dead.
-Sid?
-Where the hell are you going?
-How's your pulse?
-I couldn't tell you.
-Then shoot him already.
-What do we do now?
-Where's John?
-The symphony of collision...
-The only thing I want to hear is your silence.
-You and me have nothing in common.
-You...mother...fucker! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
-Now, is that any way to talk to an old buddy? I mean, just because I'm carrying around the joy of killing your family inside me doesn't mean we can't be friends.
-I'm sorry, the party you're trying to reach is not answering. Is there anyone else you would like to talk to?
-DEAD! YOU HEAR ME?
-I wouldn't pull the trigger if I were you——
-What C-4...was Cox talking about?
-Let me put it to you this way... whether I'm here...or whether I'm not...I'm leaving an indelible mark on the world tomorrow night.
-What C-4...was Cox talking about?
-Let me put it to you this way... whether I'm here... or whether I'm not...I'm leaving an indelible mark on the world tomorrow night.
-You can't die until you tell me where the C-4 is. Where is it?!
-It's really too bad you have to miss the Grand Finale.
-There you go —— best seat in the house.
-You are going after Mayor Bennett.
-Aren't you going to watch with me?
-Thank-you, Daryl. You had me going for quite a while there, sport.
-What are you talking about?
-Now, is that any way to talk to an old friend?
-To the first LETAC engineer to go into production on prototypes.
-As long as you keep overpaying me, I'll be the first to go into production on three, and four, as well.
-As long as they keep overpaying me, I'll keep overpaying you. ) Just make goddam sure you can have 10 of them ready for deployment around the city by next month.
-Mr. Wallace, I could have 10 of them ready by tomorrow.
-Do they have to look so...robotic?
-You want some research, flu? Side-effects of medi....
-...tonight...
-You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President...
-What if he's busy tonight?
-<u>Lure</u> him.
-What are you saying...
-Well, darlin' <u>I</u> ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; <u>Now</u>: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take
-...on the way in.
-When you... What? I'm busy.
-It's the White House.
-What about it?
-For Schumann.
-Waal, Mr. Moss, I wouldn't....
-Alright, well, alright: geopolitically...
-We've just found out They Have the Bomb. We've Just Found Out They Have The <u>Bomb</u>, aaaand... No, No wait a second, no, no, wait a second, No. The Bomb's not... it's not <u>there</u> -- because they'd have to have a rocket and that shit n'they're a buncha wogs-- it's ... it's a <u>suitcase</u> Bomb. Ooookay. It's a <u>suitcase</u> bomb, and it's .... in
-You know what? This is good. This is terrific, and I'll tell you why: it's <u>cost effective</u>. This is....
-It's <u>producing</u>.
-No, this is great.
-Ames here. <u>Yessir</u>...
-The <u>thinking</u> is, as of this moment, <u>Terrorism</u>... ...they're getting a Good Reaction on the "Albania" thing...
-Hello, <u>King</u>. How the heck <u>are</u> you...? <u>Get</u> out... <u>Get</u> out... Well, man, you fall in love like a <u>Hillbilly</u>... Ditch the wife, toss the kids in the Pick-up, Listen, King: <u>Get</u> your fat redneck ass out here, <u>willya</u>...
-Y'see, <u>this</u> is what Producing is: you put me in a <u>Room</u>...
-...and he's got a <u>negative</u> rating of...
-NY Times, Washington Post, War, War, War. Times got the girlscout page twelve, Post in Section Two.... Horses in Mid-Stream...?
-I don't think you're gonna need it.
-Well, we paid for it, we got the guys on a retainer.
-They got the guys on a <u>retainer</u>, it's cheaper, <u>pay</u>'em, but don't lettem touch it... Let'em leave us alone.
-What can it hurt.
-Okay. Here's what we're gonna do.
-I need a little bit of <u>help</u>...?
-And...she's not an Illegal Immigrant? Is she? Can I see her "chart?" Because...
-A small, "calico" kitten, sir. "Calico."
-...can we have a white one...?
-A new <u>take</u> on the... Well, sir, we're coming back, we'd like you to try it out, this evening...
-...this is a snappy song....
-Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the <u>Stationmaster</u>, Johnny Green wrote that song, and...
-Mr. President, this is St...
-...mmm?
-It's the gratitude of your <u>party</u>, and of your <u>President</u>...
-Izzat the thing...
-...The Albanian Campaign...
-...like the <u>sound</u> of it, eh...
-We've got to put that, into the Inaugural. "I have here, a ribbon. You haven't seen it before, and you will not see it too often <u>now</u>. For it is the Proud Possession of a few, a very few Men and Women... it is the Ribbon of the Albanian Campaign...."
-He, uh, has he been in the "jail" long?
-...twelve years.
-Yeeaahhh... Ohmigod ... ohmigod... ohmigod...
-...and...
-And? NO. I don't wanna know. What do you <u>mean</u> "and..."?
-Look, look, look.... He's fine, as long as he has his medication.
-What happens if he doesn't have his medication?
-Well, get on the phone, and <u>get</u> it...
-You know, I think you people are looking at this All Wrong. If you look at the <u>backstory</u> -- the guy's coming back from Combat and Torture. Of <u>course</u> he is gonna be ... uh ... uh ... "fucked up". Of <u>Course</u> he's gonna "need a little help"...
-<u>IT DESTROYED THE ELECTORAL PROCESS</u>.
-Come on.
-...where?
-...his Triumphal Plane. Shot Down.
-You can't tell this story. He's not kidding you. You can't tell this story. <u>You</u> knew that. The pay off was, you get to be Ambassador, or...
-...how do we Explain That? Hey? Am I worried...?
-...how do we explain that? With the World Watching.
-<u>Fuck</u> the world. Try a ten A.M. <u>pitch</u> meeting, no sleep, coked-to-the-gills, and you haven't even read the <u>material</u>.
-But how do we explain the fact he was in prison?
-I'm concerned about the driver of the rig.
-What rig?
-Naa, fuck this, this is nothing. Oh, Lord -- this just got <u>Big</u>. I see it -- <u>Big</u> -- Big for <u>you</u> and big for <u>me</u>.
-What are you talking about?
-You're not <u>thinking</u> right, Pal...
-He's <u>dead</u>. He's <u>dead</u>. The Fella Killed Old Shoe.
-Who we got here...?
-John Levy, Staff, and Amy Cain, Press Off....
-Alright. Look here, any of you kids hear in this room: what you hear here, what you say here, what you <u>do</u> here, f'it got out, you leaked it. Tell'em what they need to know.
-When it broke, he said one word: get me Ronnie Brean.
-Three minutes. It couldn't have been over three minutes, the Secret Service...
-We are virtually certain it isn't...
-Who's got the story?
-Don't you want to know if it's true?
-What difference does it make if it's true? It's a <u>story</u>, and, it <u>breaks</u> they're gonna have to <u>run</u> with it -- How long've we got til it breaks?
-Front page. Washington Post. Tomorrow.
-When do we bring'em back?
-You gotta give me a day. I need a day. He's sick, get it out <u>now</u>. Get him on the phone'n tell him how sick he is. We got to get it out before the story breaks, so we aren't quote, responding to it. Issue is as a bulletin. He's got some rare strain of...
-It won't hold.
-All I need is the one day.
-It won't even hold the one day, Ronnie --
-We're going to have to explain away the...
-Car and a driver, Mr. Brean, the Westgate, Now, please...
-What crisis?
-I'm working on it. Same time, you call Billy Scott at Joint Chiefs, and pour him onna plane <u>right now</u> to Seattle, y'got that...? All flustered and worried. To talk to the <u>Boeing</u> people.
-<u>Do</u> it...
-It won't hold.
-It won't hold, Ronnie, it won't prove out.
-We don't need it to prove out. We need it to <u>distract</u> them for two weeks til the election.
-What would do that...?
-What in the <u>world</u> would do that?
-Gimme twenty thousand dollars.
-I'll be back within the hour. Now,
-What is it?
-Twenty thousand dollars.
-Gemme a plane. Business Aviation, National, one hour. Fly to Chicago. O'hare, LAX 6 A.M.
-Tell, tell, tell me again.
-....we landing?
-Tell me again.
-Lookit, don't worry about it. It's not a New Concept. Wake me when we touch down, will...
-We can't <u>afford</u> a war.
-We aren't going to have a war. We're going to have the "appearance" of a war.
-I'm not sure we can afford to have the "appearance" of a war.
-What's it gonna cost?
-But, but, but, "they" would find out.
-Who would find out?
-...the...
-The American "people"?
-Yes
-Who's gonna tell'em.
-...but...
-What did they find out about the Gulf War? One shot: one bomb, falling though the roof, building coulda been made of <u>Legos</u>.
-...you want us to go to War...
-...that's the general idea.
-Why?
-Why <u>not</u>, what've they ever done for <u>us</u>...? Also: they sound... Ah, you see, this is why we have to mobilize the B-2 <u>Bomber</u>...
-...they sound what?
-<u>Shifty</u>. Who knows anything <u>about</u> em...
-Hold on, hold on, hold on:
-Well, I'm gonna hold on, but you went to win this election, you better change the subject. You wanna change this subject, you better have a War. What do you need? It's gotta be <u>quick</u>, it's gotta be <u>dramatic</u>, you got to have an <u>enemy</u>. Okay? What do you need in an enemy? Somebody you fear. Who do you fear? Som'b'y you don't know.
-<u>Who</u>?
-Yes.
-Why?
-What do you know about them?
-...<u>nothing</u>...
-Precisely.
-What did Albania ever do to us?
-What did they ever do <u>for</u> us...? You see, this is why we have to mobilize the B-2 Bomber.
-...you want us to go to War with Albania.
-...where is the Back End coming from?
-It's like that thing with the Yellow Ribbon...
-The thing with the Yellow Ribbon...
-The Hostages...?
-The hostages, but that was a naturally-occuring... It was a put-up job? But where was the, where was the money in that?
-In the yellow ribbon.
-...the Yellow Ribbon, but who, who'd profit from <u>that</u>...
-...can we see the Kitten...?
-<u>Hello</u>... Yes. We'll be back...?
-We'll be back tonight.
-Tonight. Well, you've started a Tempest in a Teapot.
-Waal, that's where you <u>want</u> em...
-Why is this putz on the air...
-...hell of a price for the country to pay.
-...take a long view.
-...what's the Long View?
-Your guy gets four more years in Washington... ...it's only Nine More Days.
-Yes. That's true. But...
-New York Times, Wash Post, Detroit Register, San Diego BEE, all in emission. <u>No</u> mention of the Girlscout. None.
-Eight Days To Go
-I <u>live</u> for midnight, when I can tear another of those suckers off. Watcha got for me?
-Big Bird touches down <u>when</u>?
-We're bring'n im in tomorrow, five AM.
-Anything at the Airport?
-Press thought "no," whaddaya think...?
-<u>I</u> think, here's what I think: S'it gonna rain...?
-Gimme the weather for tomorrow morning, five A.M. Andrews...
-An <u>Albanian</u>, a young Albanian Girl.
-No rain.
-And carrying. The National Flower of Albania, something..... Now Is it some Festival? Some <u>Harvest</u> Festival, something...
-Get on this, right now...
-...got to be <u>something</u>. She gives him the sacred... And tells him: this is the Traditional Harvest Offering, given to the Man who Ties the First Sheaf, the last sheaf, whatever the fuck it is...
-...this's <u>good</u>...
-Stanley Moss, Ladeesngennlmen... And she says...
-Is she saying this in Albanian...?
-Our adopted land...
-...but to the Old World; you are stilling the forces of hatred and of War which have, since I was a child...
-...uh huh...
-Now, the Old Lady starts to <u>Weep</u>, Big Bird shrugs off his secret <u>Service</u>, goes to her, and covers her with his own coat.
-Find out is there <u>any</u> chance we can get some rain tomorrow, <u>will</u> you...?
-Catching up on his reading. Asked about you, sends his thanks.
-Knock on wood.
-Speaking of thanks... we puttem back in, what does your fellow Moss want?
-<u>I</u> dunno.... Ambassador to <u>Togo</u>, somethin', <u>I</u> dunno... he...
-Maybe he's just a <u>patriot</u>.
-Yeah...what was I talking about...?
-How long you been up, you need a nap.
-Due in Nashville.
-<u>Nashville</u>...?
-We're gonna do the <u>Team Song</u>.
-You're tired, Ronnie.
-...this is magnificent.
-...Stanley Moss...
-None of these are ours. <u>None</u> of em are ours.... ....that's <u>real politik</u>, Buddy.
-...I just missed my plane.
-You missed your <u>plane</u>? My <u>life</u> is over. My <u>life</u> is over. What have you <u>done</u> to me? What have I done? Fourteen years of Public Service...
-Well, keep your <u>wits</u> about you, and let's see if we can't...
-...fourteen years...
-...brazen-it-through...
-And I'd like to point out that I've been on prescription <u>medication</u>, the side-effects of which...
-No. I was busy. Yes, I need the new poll fig.... <u>how</u> long? I'll call in from Nashville. And patch me through to the Big Bird, will...? I've got to <u>hand</u> it to you. <u>They</u> sure let us out of there easy....
-He just got Hip to us. He just ended the War.
-What are we going to do?
-Oh, God...
-Oh, Lord....
-...those limp-dick ... <u>turncoat</u>... I <u>thought</u> they let us out of there too easy.....
-War's over, Pal.
-He thinks it's too...
-Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. ...s'there a problem?
-No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"...
-How's your wife?
-Pride of a job-well-done...
-That's not bad at all.
-Well, you know, "The Whole Thing's Theatre..."
-...child at the airport... breaks through the ranks, runs to "old shoe" -- should we have <u>flower</u> or a <u>bear</u>...?
-Uh...Didn't we <u>do</u> this?
-Wilfred.
-...what have you <u>done</u> to me...
-All Combat takes place at night, in the Rain, and at the Junction of four Map Segments...
-Give'em another pill...
-No. No. He didn't mean anything by it at <u>all</u>...
-Courage, Mom.
-... and he spent the last twelve years in a Milit&ry Prison...
-What about him?
-... you want Schumann saved by an Illegal Alien...?
-Stanley, you can't do this....
-Oh, MiGod.
-Guess who <u>I</u> am.
-I'd like to mention a few <u>names</u>, who...
-I know who you are, Mr. Ames.
-I was acting as a Private Citizen. Nothing that I've done should be construed as reflecting on the orders or intentions of anyone with whom you may have reason to believe I am connected with. Or in whose <u>employ</u>...
-Quite touching.
-And I take this <u>opportunity</u> to suggest that, equally, I admit to <u>nothing</u>, and that I would like my lawyer present.
-As are we all, and I'd like to take this opportunity to suggest that the Security of the country would be ill- served by any, any...any...
-Any untoward "revelation" regarding, uh...
-THE PLANE, IN A VIOLENT RAINSTORM, BUCKING WILDLY. AMES, ON HIS KNEES, GATHERING UP THE PILLS, REPLACES THEM IN THE VIAL, SHAKES OUT TWO, AND GIVES THEM TO SCHUMANN. WHO TAKES THEM. MOSS THEN STRAPS HIMSELF BACK IN AND BREAN CONTINUES TALKING ON THE TELEPHONE.
-"...where's my pill..."
-ON SCHUMANN, WHO HAS CONE TO THE BACK OF THE COUNTER, AND IS EMPTYING THE CANNISTERS.
-...where is my pill?
-ON THE MEN, IN THE ROOM, ARGUING ABOUT THE ILLEGAL ALIEN, SCHUMANN IN THE B.G.
-The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in <u>contaot</u> with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government <u>credits</u> his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and <u>has</u> not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making.
-CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making
-AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH.
-From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents...
-But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group?
-CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP.
-ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH.
-...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines.
-ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT.
-THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH
-YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT.
-OVER A SLEEPING BREAN, STRETCHED OUT ON A POOLCHAIR, GRACE, THE SECRETARY, COMES OUT ON TO THE POOL AREA, HOLDING THE SHOT OF A SMALL, FOREIGN LOOKING CHILD, IN FRONT OF A PILE OF RUBBLE. SHE SHOWS IT TO MOSS.
-But, you know, <u>this</u> is the meeting, Ron? You think about it. <u>This</u> is the meeting. This, here. Schumann and us. King Kong and the Trainers...this's it... What are you working on?
-THE CROWDS AT ANDREW'S AIRKORCE BASE, THE "OLD SHOE" BANNERS, THE "COURAGE, MOM," BANNERS. THE STILL BAND. A SHOT OF THE BANDMASTER, SURREPTITIOUSLY, GLANCING AT HIS WATCH.
-This is nothing. ...piece of cake. Y'know, producing is being a Samurai Warrior. They pay you, day in, day out, for Years, so that, ONE DAY, when <u>called</u> upon, you can respond, your training At Its Peak, and save the day.
-ON BREAN AND MOSS, WHO WALK SCHUMANN ACROSS THE HIGHWAY. IN THE B.G. WE SEE AMES TALKING TO THE DRIVER OF THE HARVESTER, WHO IS A SMALL, HISPANIC MAN.
-ON MOSS, AS HE WALKS THE GROGGY SCHUMANN TOWARD THE GAS STATION.
-ON THE GAS STATION OWNER, WHO HAS RETREATED TO HIS COUNTER AND PRODUCES A SHOTGUN, AND STARTS TO LOAD IT.
-I gotta get something, I gotta get ...shoes? Ties? Hats...? Good. Good.
-Would somebody wake me in five minutes?
-Does it <u>have</u> to be Albania? Because, lookit: I can get my hands on a lot of walking-around-cash, I think, if it's <u>Italy</u>...Look at the tie-in here: <u>The</u> <u>Boot</u>, "Givvem the <u>Boot</u>,"... If we were to go Wide with a <u>shoe</u> as the fad. A "Shoe-fad"... Here's what it offers us...
-We're locked into Albania.
-Well, let's not be too sure, why is that?
-Hello...?
-Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight.
-Where is he?
-Well, c'n we get him back home?
-We're due at Andrews.
-Captain... You wanna Take'er up...?
-Heavy weather East of here.
-Whaddaya think?
-Course there's a war. I'm watching it on Television.
-N'who might <u>you</u> be, when all's said and done?
-My name is Ronald Brean.
-Who're you working for?
-Nobody whose name you want me to say, Mr. Young, I promise you.
-S'all very well, but when the Fit hits the Shan, somebody's going to have to Stay After School, and who do you 'spose that might be.
-S'only got to hold for another few days.
-Well, I'm not interested in how long its "got to hold for."
-What <u>are</u> you interested in?
-Well, I'm sure that speaks very well of you and for your parents. But if forced to choose between the security of the country and the security of your Job, which would you pick. And, while you hesitate, permit me to suggest that they are one and the same. Your country and your job.
-What's on your mind?
-I have a question for you.
-Ask it.
-Why do people go to war?
-Why do people go to war?
-I'll play your silly game.
-Why do they go to War?
-To preserve their Way of Life.
-Would you go to War to do that?
-I have.
-It can be documented that he displayed the...
-This ain't the illegal immigrant Nanny.
-...why?
-...you the Press Office?
-...Yes.
-Earn your money. ...He's ill, the Plane is sick...
-What's more interesting than boffing the girlscout?
-Is there a press conference today?
-But there isn't a B-2 bomber.
-Where'd you go to school, Kid. Wellesly?
-Dartmouth
-China.
-When's he coming back...?
-Touchdown, Andrews, fourteen hundred, today.
-Trade Re1ations.
-You're goddamn right. And it's got nothing to do with the B-2 Bomber.
-There <u>is</u> no B-2 Bomber,
-How much...?
-Do I know you?
-And you're here <u>why</u>...?
-I'm here, Mr. Moss, because you've shown yourself a great supporter of the Party.
-What one has to do, Mr. Moss. Is to fight a holding action.
-...holding action. THEY'RE GOING TO TEAR THIS GUY TO <u>Shreds</u>.
-If we can hold the break-in-the-dam for ten days, til the election, we...
-What do you want the kid to say?
-String a few together. All I need's eleven,
-How you going to stretch it? This won't hold for eleven days. Guy fucked a twelve- year-old...whadday're gonna do to hold that off?
-What do you think would hold it off?
-Uh, <u>nothing</u>, oh, <u>nothing</u> ... uh... a <u>War</u>, uh... You're kidding.
-I'm a Jew in Show Business. Why come to me?
-I'm gonna <u>tell</u> you why...
-Here's the Short Course: Fifty-Four, Forty or Fight. What does <u>that</u> mean?
-Uh, it's a slogan. From, uh...
-Remember the Maine...
-That's from the ... it's got to be from the...
-Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too!
-...uh ... No, that's...
-It's like being a producer, Mr. Moss. The Things in Trouble. Somebody's got to wade in, save the thing. You get the Actors get up there, and strut and <u>Posture</u>. But somebody, knows what's what, got to jump in and Save the Thing.
-Why Albania?
-Who?
-The...
-"They Got To Know?" <u>Stan</u>...? Get with it. Who Killed Kennedy...? I read the first draft of the Warren Report, said he was killed by a Drunk <u>Driver</u>. You watched the Gulf War. What did you see? Day after day, the one "Smart Bomb" falling into a building. The <u>truth</u>, I was in the building when they <u>shot</u> that shot, they shot it in
-Is that true?
-How the fuck do <u>we</u> know. You take my point?
-...going to War...
-It's not "war." It is a <u>Pageant</u>. It's a <u>Pageant</u>... Like the Oscars... why we came to <u>you</u>...
-I never won an Oscar.
-N'it's a crying shame. But you <u>staged</u> the Oscars...
-Yes. Indeed I did.
-You know, you're a <u>writer</u>, that's your script. You're a <u>director</u>... But if you're the <u>producer</u> ... what did you do? What did you do? All you've got is the <u>credit</u>... Some plaque on the wall...
-And <u>if</u> you never won an Oscar, How'd you like an ambassadorship...
-Hell, I'd just do it for the <u>hell</u> of having <u>done</u> it, for a story to tell...
-Well, no, well, you couldn't <u>tell</u> any...
-Hey, I know that, hey, I'm <u>kidding</u>... "It's a pageant"
-...that's what it is.
-"The Country Is At War."
-It's Miss America, N'you're Bert Parks.
-...Yoha, Yoha... Yoha. <i>Why</i> Albania?
-Because.
-They got to have something that we want.
-I'm sure they do.
-What do we have that they want?
-"Freedom."
-...who is this guy...?
-Act Two: and then, Act Two...
-We don't need an Act Two.
-And get me the Fad King. No. Get him First... We don't need an Act Two?
-We've just got to hold their interest for ten more days, till the Election.
-...it's a Teaser!
-You can't have a war without an enemy.
-No, King, I need you here <u>yesterday</u>... How long do I need him for?
-Well, you could <u>have</u> one, but it'd be a very ineffective war... We're <u>done</u> in 10 days...
-Ten Days. There going to be any Back End in this thing?
-W...what?
-...there gonna be any money in this thing?
-"Back End" ... count on it.
-King, King, I got a thing here, a product placement, gonna have a bigger back-end than Hattie McDaniel. Now:
-Three-o-three...
-What is it?
-President's speech.
-At the Airport? Cause we decided at the Airport he hugs the fat, wet Albanian Broad, we...
-What?
-The War ain't over.
-I saw it on TV.
-What're you gonna do with Morse Code?
-...we put your Guy in a <u>sweater</u>...
-Yeah...?
-He can't respond to the Allegations. I don't care <u>how</u> many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with <u>Gold</u>. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for <u>two hours</u>... coming home with Gold.
-I think it's fine?
-It's not too <u>clean</u>...
-In the Folk Music Section.
-...this the Guy.
-Oh, he's gonna be Aces.
-Where is he now?
-Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere...
-...we get our hands on him?
-They got him standing by.
-What's the thing with Morse Code...
-My prop guy, had a guy out here.
-What?
-Not bad for government work. Having a good time.
-Mmm...
-You do your job right, nobody should notice.
-Mmm.
-S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize?
-Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line.
-Yes, but I, well, <u>you</u> know...
-Just for the Symmetry of the thing...?
-...that's right.
-If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness.
-Well, yes, but the guy <u>did</u> bring Peace.
-Yes, but there wasn't a War.
-Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one...
-Hey, lemme close out the thing in style.
-I've come to feel It's my thing. You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's <u>just</u> a job. And then...
-Hell of a Ride, Stanley...
-Against...who could be aggressor....Help me out here...Units of 303, the Defense Department confirms, early this morning, Albanian Time, stormed a mountain hideaway, near the city of -- help me out here -- and freed a tired, but happy William Schumann, Suffering no casualties. His condition is reported as Guarded, and his route to the US has not been disclosed, but a high White House
-...we'll gettim in their cars.
-Yeah, we'll gettem in their cars. I'm slowing down... No, no. Look, lookit: I think it's a mistake, well, I'll <u>tell</u> you why: you got'em by the balls, <u>Squeeze</u>. Because Schumann's the Shark. He's ...<u>Jaws</u>. You have to <u>tease</u>'em... You don't puttem in the first reel of the movie... Bring'em back <u>slow</u>, the President... No, no, put him on. Put him on. President wants
-Big mistake.
-Hell, yes, we're, we're on our way to get him now. No. Lookit: it's like a girl with her virginity, y'understand...
-Guy says he'll respect her tomorrow, he <u>might</u>, but why take a chance? Hold out til after you're married. That's... that's.... looky, we're offering'em Schumann, make em <u>vote</u> for hhhh.... psychologically, they will understand that that's the bargain. Make them pay for him. Make... that's right, the price is their vote. Now, we bring him home, the President announces he is flying <u>home</u>, he's
-Hey, lcokit: <u>any</u> business...
-Ain't <u>that</u> the truth.
-Whattaya gonna do when this is all over?
-What am <u>I</u> gonna do? I'm gonna "Fade Away." What are you gonna do?
-We pick up Schumann. Sneak him back inside the Beltway. And we plan his homecoming. Zt's gone be Neil Armstrong, Dr. Livingston, and <u>Lindy</u>...They're gonna forget, they're gonna forget, they're gonna forget that there <u>is</u> an election...The Pres's gonna have to say, one of his speeches, "Don't forget to Vote..."
-I got it in the inaugural. "Thank you for voting for me, but, <u>as</u> importantly: Thank you for <u>voting</u>...
-Getting off on the inaugural? Gonna go...
-Medal. Medal and Ribbon.
-Of what?
-The Albanian Campaign.
-...the Albanian Campaign. And we won't even be a footnote...
-They should be. Most valuable animal since Sea Biscuit. <u>Isn't</u> he...
-Bigger than that. For want of a nail a <u>Kingdom</u> was lost...
-...a masterpiece...
-I thought they weren't meeting him at the airport...
-They insist they wanna go with meeting him at the airport. I told'em they're wrong, I can't convince'em. They're concerned that the last kid had the <u>Wheat</u>. Variations include, the kid is a <u>boy</u>, the kid is <u>twins</u>, it's a little <u>dog</u> ... they rub meat on Schumann's cuff, the dog runs to him...
-I think we asked for "special programs" and they gave us "special prisons."
-A slight, a slight, well, no, we're gonna <u>deal</u> with it, we just, I need a little readjustment...we need to re<u>think</u>...
-He's fine, as long as he gets his medication.
-Just....do what I ...look: get me a ...hello...? Hel...? I'm going to need an <u>ambulance</u>, we take him, the last moment, right from the Pl...no, <u>we</u> land, we puttem <u>in</u> the ambulance. Air force jet lands, we take somebody <u>else</u> off <u>that</u> jet...what the fuck do <u>I</u> care? Somebody in a Hospital gown. And we need a ......hello? Hello...?
-Cause I don't think <u>this</u> dog is gonna hunt....
-He's going to be fine, aren't you boy...?
-Yeah, well, perhaps... Speaking of which: I have a <u>prescription</u> here, I'm going to give you the <u>number</u>, I need you standing by with a <u>crate</u> of the stuff.... it's ... what is it?
-An anti-psychotic...
-Mmm.
-...what happened...?
-I think we were experiencing a Little Technical Difficulty.
-What the hell do <u>we</u> care?
-Wake up.
-No, I didn't think so.
-Y'know what else bothers me? "Shh lil baby, don' saya word, papa's gon buy you a mocking bird..." The baby don'say a word, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MOTHERFUCKING MOCKING BIRD GONE SAY? You follow me...?
-Get on your feet, boy.
-Uh huh...why?
-We're going home. We're going home together...
-We have no home. We're vagrants. N'each man's hand's against us. We killed Old Shoe... We killed the Schuster...spend our life in a packingcrate...Where are you <u>going</u>...?
-I'm tired.
-Finish Strong! Are you <u>nuts</u>? Are you nuts? This's Pennies from <u>Heaven</u>... on his triumphal return home, Old Shoe, his Plane Forced Down...AND YET...
-He's supposed to be flying in from Europe.
-You can't tell this story.
-Why not?
-Some'b'y'll have you killed.
-You would be, two, if you'd gone through what he went through.
-He raped a <u>Nun</u>...
-What he went through in <u>Albania</u>...
-No, I'm On Top of it...
-"...unsure whether or not Enemy Action..."
-No, I'm fine... I got it together....
-...but...
-Pals: Get on the <u>phone</u>... r'they flying it?
-They'll be here in ten minutes.
-Hell of a show. Hell of a job, Stan.
-...one more day.
-You see? What's the lesson here? <u>Never</u> give up. <u>Never</u> give up.
-No. You're right.
-Show Must Go On.
-A proud tradition.
-What're you doing?
-I'm looking for a phone...
-No, I don't think you can <u>do</u> that.
-Watch me.
-No, I don't think you can <u>do</u> that, Stanley...
-Watch me.
-Stanley. Stanley... you knew the... Stanley. You knew the deal when you signed <u>on</u>.
-Deal's changed.
-No, the deal <u>isn't</u> changed. The Deal <u>isn't</u> changed. You can't ... what is it? Money? <u>Money</u>? You want Money?
-<u>Money</u>? You think I did this for money...? I did this for <u>Credit</u>. <u>Credit</u>, paalll...
-But you always knew you couldn't <u>take</u> the credit....
-Don't tune it too good.
-William Schuman. Old Shoe. U.S. Army. Serial number, 21-31-2841-262.
-Hold it a minute, Benny, willya?
-It's too clean.
-Let's take the bridge from <u>nine</u>, and the intro from <u>one</u>, and...
-It's got to sound like an <u>acetate</u> recording, 1930.
-Look, look, look, look, Canada, okay...? Our neighbor to the North, alla sudden, transformed, into That Place, where, like the North Wind, <u>Terror</u> comes...
-Keep Talking....
-...what am I <u>doing</u>? Do you see me working...? Here's what you want to do, you want to come out of the box, an item, someone 'ready <u>has</u>, but <u>then</u> you sell it to'em. Torn <u>jeans</u>, uh ... faded Levi Jackets, uh... uh...
-Headshots. Girls to play the girl in our footage. I like the sorrowful one. Anybody Else....?
-I go with this here...
-Bunny: I had an idea: a Slinky, that falls <u>Up</u>... Naa, we can figure that <u>out</u>. What I'm wondering: what do we <u>call</u> it... You got my number...
-We got the guy, we got the guy, we got the Guy!
-It's like those Japanese in the Caves on Okinawa... didn't believe the War was Over.
-...what do you got?
-All part of the Service we Render.
-He ain't seen <u>nothin'</u> yet.
-Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat.
-See y'at the Finish Line.
-Why can't it be a ribbon?
-Uh...uh... Mounties. The Mounties Guard The Border. uh... those Mountie Hats.
-They look stupid.
-We had Davy Crockett hats... They made a fortune.
-Shoes, Hats....
-Black...
-Well, <u>that</u> ain't very butch, is it?
-...I meant the Leopard Skin...
-British Regiments drape their drums in Leopard Skins.
-I have the White House on the Line.
-...the Suitcase Bomb. ACT ONE Albania denies it. President comes on the air, "Be Calm." Okay, now: Good. Now, Alright. Act <u>TWO</u>... I need the following here. Right now: Johnnie Green, Liz Butsky, and get me the Fad King.
-Isn't Johnny Green in the...
-Public Domain.
-And what? What? She was Driven From Her Home, by Albanian Terrorists. It is her we are mobilizing to defend... it is "she"?
-We-are-mobilizing-to-defend-<u>her</u>.
-Can we give'er a <u>kitten</u>?
-I didn't ask for a dog.
-Do it later... Okay, now, "The Little Girl," who is she, what is she doing? She is....she's ...Okay, okay, it's an Albanian village... She is the victim of, she has been <u>relocated</u>, to, to, for the <u>terrorists</u>, the Government Labs...the, the... a <u>staging</u> area for their Atomic workshop. They're torturing her family, because they have connections in Canada, which would permit the terrorists access
-Better.
-You like it?
-Yes.
-It's tough to rhyme.
-I believe in you....
-Albania, Albania, Albania, James bond Villains.
-John Belushi... <u>Jim</u> Belushi...
-Jim Belushi...?
-They guard our, <u>you</u> know ... "borders," night and day...
-What would be true, then.
-Well, you said it yourself, earlier, and if I may rephrase, that the success of the President, in the Polls...
-...as of today, 89% favorable.
-...by you?
-By the media, by, yes, by, in this case, our organization.
-The Special Anti-Terrorist Detachment of the Border Patrol... what do they <u>do</u>...?
-Oh huh...
-...they have the capacity to Meld into the <u>Woods</u>, and...
-And one of them is in love with the <u>sister</u> of...
-I'm just talking about the Hats.
-The hats.
-A beret.
-Why a beret?
-Cause you can crush it and put it in your pocket.
-With their berets...
-I need a ruling on the Hats. I say a Leopard-skin, and...
-Someone's bringing in a kitten...?
-No, no, no.... we'll punch <u>in</u> a kitten. Um... <u>Later</u>.
-...you're gonna Punch in a Kitten Later.
-Yes.
-A wider option of what?
-Long's you git me back for the beans...
-This is <u>nothing</u>, Wait'll you've worked with a movie star, one time, this is nothing, we keep him shot-up and happy -- the Old Days, I used to think I was a <u>pharmacist</u>, the kind of stuff I had to do. One time...
-What the fuck did you <u>mean</u>, "What kind of stuff?"?
-...this is nothing. This is nothing. D'you ever shoot in <u>Italy</u>? Try three Italian starlets on Benzedrine, this is a walk in the park...
-Just want to take a nap.
-He's not dead, Ronnie. He's just a little understandab1y, <u>fatigued</u>. Let's get him to some help...
-...gimme some help...
-That's right, we'll take a nap. We'll get you to Washington, we'll get you Back to your Buddies, and...
-...just want to Get Back to the Beans...
-...where's my l'il <u>pill</u>?
-...mmm.
-...'bout ready to Mix it Up...?
-Yup.
-Oh, hell...
-Susie? Susie. Are you alright...? <u>Susie</u>...
-Lemme talk to him. Will? Shoe?
-SUSIE...? Are you alright...?
-....beautiful.
-Of course, we're gonna need some <u>water</u>, uh...
-Is it a <u>stream</u>, or is it a...
-No, I think..
-a "pond," or
-Look Harold, they're vulnerable, alright, but we don't want 'em to think they're under accumulation. Go slow. Call Geneva and the Bahamas for me, will ya? We feint towards it but we wait...
-What about tipping off Yurovich?
-Gordon, the insurance people are balking on the logging trucks...
-Who the hell's out there? What are the arbs saying? It's gotta be a big hitter.
-Fox says Bluestar just hit 23. What do you want him to do?
-Hi...can I buy you a drink? I'm celebrating tonight.
-Please, no thanks...
-Look, I know you get approached a lot by dubious men, but I'm different, I never talk to strangers, all my life I've been waiting for the right person to walk across the room... you're that person, you don't know it but I do and if you walk away now I'll never see you again or you me. You'll grow old.
-Oh really.
-Grand Marnier.
-Sounds like a french word, what is it?
-It's a romantic and tragic drink.
-... That's what you told us to say.
-He's lying.
-If I'm closing out this account. If he doesn't pay for it tomorrow, you pay for it.
-Mr. Lynch, I swear to you, he's lying!
-Fox, you're making more problems than you are sales.
-I don't think you're being fair, sir. You assigned me this guy, and you know he's got a history...
-Nice piece of work, Fox. Why don't you join me and the partners for lunch tomorrow in the dining room?
-Thank you, Janet...thank you, Mr. Lynch.
-...hey Chuckie, how's the woman- slayer?
-...still looking for the right 18 year old wife, how you doing, pal?
-...if I had your looks, better.
-...takes years of genetics, pal, and a Yale education... and the right tailor.
-Buddy boy, how ya doing?
-Wanna play some tennis Saturday?
-You mean teach you how to play. Can't. Going fly fishing in Canada, big client...
-...you take that Anacott Steel?
-So whaddaya say pal, wanna play some doubles at Piping? Meet the membership? I got a little blonde named Mandy, about nineteen, avec cafe au lait boobs... she's mine but she's got a cousin who has great muffins.
-I gotta feeling we're going to make a killing today, Marv.
-Yeah, where's your machine gun.
-Looks bearish to me, buddy. You got it all upside down. Okay, I'm giving this to you and you alone, 'cause I feel sorry for you. Take the Knicks against the Bullets, and my pick of the day -- Duke to beat the spread against Wake Forest.
-Buddy, buddy, buddy; little trouble, huh, today.
-Howard the Jerk reneged on me. I've got to cover his loss to the tune of about seven grand! I'm tapped out man, American Express got a hit man looking for me.
-Thanks Marv, I'll make it good to you. You know what my dream is? One day to be on the other end of that phone...
-Buddy, buddy, when ya gonna realize it's big game hunters that bag the elephants, not retail brokers. I heard this story about Gekko... he was on the phone 30 seconds after the Challenger blew up selling NASA stocks short.
-Hello, Natalie -- guess who? That's right, and you know everyday I say to myself, today could be the day... So what do you say... will you marry me? Then please can you get me through to Mr. Gekko?
-It concerns his future!
-...well, see him?
-Yeah, but he didn't see me.
-...got tickets for the Knicks tonight. Go out and cruise some bimbos afterwards, whaddaya say?
-...gotta read my reports.
-Nice guy but a loser. Lost all his equity when his firm went belly up in the recession of 71. you wanna be coming in here in your late sixties still pitching? ... Whatever happened to that cute analyst at Thudder, Wicks? ... Cindy? Susan?
-Got a little action there, eh buddy?
-Buddy, buddy, some buddy; why didn't you tell me to buy Bluestar.
-Hey Marv, he demanded confidentiality...
-Gimme a break. You buy Bluestar Airlines yesterday. Today they just happen to get good news and the stock goes bat shit. You must have ESP. A real Nostradamus. Jesus Christ, what are friends for?
-All right, I owe you one Marv.
-What the hell...
-What's going on?
-Hey you hear the news. I just got a job at a new firm: "Dewey, Cheat 'em and Howe." Yuk yuk.
-Didn't I tell you to knock before you came in here?
-Hey the door was open.
-Then get out and close it behind you.
-You know what you need, buddy buddy--an optorectomy. That's when they cut the nerve that runs from your brain to your rectum--to change that shitty attitude of yours.
-I agree. Go thou and sin no more.
-I want to make it up to you. Bluestar, put all your clients in it.
-The stock's going to Pluto!
-Start unloading.
-Sell?
-...leave me alone willya. Only thing makes me feel good anymore. Spaghetti. She makes lousy spaghetti...
-... looks like you grown another inch... but you don't look so hot, getting bags under your eyes, starting to look old like me.
-Ah, I had a tough day. Some jerk D.K'd me and I gotta cover his loss.
-Speak English will ya.
-D.K. -- didn't know -- who I was when the options he bought took a bath. He reneged on me.
-I told you not to go into that racket. You could've been a doctor or a lawyer,
-Coulda been a contender.
-you coulda stayed at Bluestar and been a supervisor in instead of going customer relations by now, 'stead of going off and bein' a salesman.
-Look Dad, I'm not a salesman. How many times I gotta tell you I'm an account executive, and pretty soon I'm going to the investment banking side of the firm.
-You get on the phone and ask strangers for their money, right? You're a salesman.
-Dad, it takes time. You gotta build a customer list. I'm doing it. I could make more money in one year as a broker than five years at the airline.
-I don't get it, you get a scholarship to NYU, you get 35,000 the first year, and 50 last year, where the hell is it?
-50 K don't get you to first base in the Big Apple, Dad, not any more. I pay 40% in taxes, I got a rent of 15,000, I got school loans, car loans, food, park my car costs me 3 bills a month, I need good suits, that's $500 a pop, shoes...
-So come home and live rent free, 'stead of that cockroach palace you live in. $50,000 Jesus Christ, the world is off its rocker. I made $37,000 last year and you...
-It's Queens, Dad and a 5% mortgage and you rent the top room--I gotta live in Manhattan to be a player, Dad. There's no nobility in poverty anymore, y'know. One day you're going to be proud of me, you'll see...
-It's yourself you've got to be proud of, Huckleberry, how much ya need?
-...Got a 100 on me, you...
-... it adds up Buddy, 300 here, 200 there. Your brother never... ...well, I always said money is something you need in case you don't die tomorrow...
-...same, pain in the ass, god bless her, talks too much... gonna take her to Florida next month... west coast, near Tampa, like to get out for good, but can't afford it.
-...Work okay?
-That's great Dad.
-Damn right, it gets us out from under suspension. We'll get those new routes to Pittsburgh and Boston and the equipment we need. We're gonna compete with the big boys now.
-You sure about this FAA announcement?
-About what?
-The FAA announcement.
-What brings you out here...
-Client. Got a private jet over at Butler Aviation... Dad, you always gotta light up when you see me, it's the...
-Don't start, alright.
-Alright. Why so pissed?
-Sure...lots of guys at the track talk like that... but how do you know you'll have any dough next month... What's this? I gave you two hundred.
-Dividend. I figure I owe you about five thousand in nickels and dimes...
-...don't be crazy. Put it to your school loans.
-Don't worry about the loans. I'm doing good Dad and it's gonna stay that way now... least buy yourself a new suit.
-Problem with money is you never have enough or you got too much -- and when you got it you're never happy 'cause somebody's always trying to take it away from you. Money's one giant pain in the ass y'ask me... thanks.
-... Dad, you should've been a CEO. How about dinner?
-Whatever night you like.
-Wait... next week's booked. Let me check with my girl and get back to you on Monday.
-Yeah, you do that huckleberry. I'll still be here.
-Dad, you know Duncan Wilmore, pilot's union, and Toni Carpenter, flight attendants...
-He's got your prick in his back pocket, son, and you're standing naked in the display window of Macy's. He's using you. Only you're too blind to see it.
-No, what I see is a jealous old machinist who can't stand that his son's become more successful than himself.
-What you see, son, is a man who never measured success by the size of a man's wallet.
-That's because you never had the guts to go out into the world and stake your claim.
-...as far as being axed, I'm still here and as long as I am, I have a responsibility not just to me but to the union members I represent...
-Your responsibility, Dad, is to present the facts, not your opinions, to the men... you're gonna destroy their lives, Dad! Don't do it to 'em. Give it a chance. Let the membership decide for themselves, Dad. Please.
-I'll be damned that when my men come to me tomorrow morning, wanting to know what's going on, I'm going to lie to them!
-Your words, not mine...
-Another cup of coffee?
-No, thanks, I'm nervous enough.
-I guess it's time to hit the road.
-Dad, I'm going to jail and you know it.
-Hello, Natalie, you recognize the voice? I'll give you a hint, you're thinking seriously about marrying me...
-What are you doing here?
-...And you're even lovelier than I pictured. I brought a birthday present for Mr. Gekko.
-It's in the bible, see. You better go buy him a present. Please, Natalie. Let me give him the gift; Cuban cigars--Davidoff, his favorite and hard to get.
-...thanks Natalie.
-Sure, and I'm never gonna die either, is this one of your chain letter schemes or do I gotta buy a door to door cosmetic franchise in Northern Arkansas?
-...this guy who said he was from the Security Exchange Commission, whatever the hell that is, calls and wants to ask me about that stock I bought...
-What'd you tell him?
-I told him I was in the bathroom and I'd call him right back. What the hell was I supposed to say Buddy, you got me into...
-Look Dixon, calm down! It's not illegal to buy stock or to be right. And it's not all that unusual to be spot checked on a big buy. Tell him you did your homework and you thought the stock was a sound investment.
-What if he asks where I got the money?
-Tell 'em your father gave it to you.
-What if they call him?
-They won't. That's not their jurisdiction.
-You sure?
-Yes! Read the Constitution, it's all in there. And remember--you don't know anything, nothing.
-I don't know anything!
-Hello Bud, I'm Lisa, a friend of Gordon's.
-Lisa. Gordon? Oh, Mr. Gekko. Sure. Would you, uh, like to come in?
-Didn't he tell you? That's so like Gordon. Get dressed, we're going out.
-So, where are we going?
-Want some? Gordon tells me you're a very talented broker. What do you like?
-Like? Uh...hmmm. Well...
-I got this guy who should know tells me buy Hewlitt Packard but I been burned on tips. What do you think Bud?
-Rising profits...strong balance sheets, good earnings per share.
-So you're hot on this stock?
-Fox, Bud D. is this deja vu or has it really been a year. You're not hitting me up for NYU are you?
-Well we're thinking of putting up a statue of you in the subway. I hear you're moving up in the world. An associate already. Not bad. How's Margie?
-Can't complain. Got a house in Oyster Bay. Market treating you good? Still seeing that sexy French gal?
-Nah, she asked the wrong question.
-What was that?
-"What are you thinking?"...that was it. The hours are hell, but the money's starting to tumble in. I know this guy who's got an iron- clad way to make money, I can't lose and I can't get hurt.
-So, does "this guy" have a tip for an honest lawyer?
-Yeah, check out Teldar Paper, it's still not over.
-Okay.
-What about you, I hear you guys are handling the Fairchild Foods merger and it may not be going through. Any surprises I haven't read about in the Wall Street Journal?
-Come on Buddy, you wouldn't want to got me disbarred now would you?
-Who's listening? It's just one college buddy talking to another.
-Yeah, right...
-Relax, Roger, everybody's doing it but you don't know, you don't know.
-More money than you ever dreamed, Roger. And the thing is no one gets hurt...how bout a beer?
-...and you don't have to put up a dime, Roger.
-So what's the problem?
-...got a strange call from the SEC. They asked to see my records... Bud, this is a heavy...
-....Relax Roget You're 82M in the account numbers and I'm the Invisible Man... they're always looking for red flags, Gekko's always getting checked by them, they never come up with anything... we're invulnerable on this...
-Alright... I just wanna slow down Bud... no more calls for awhile, no lunches... we suspend our business, alright...
-Gekko asked us into the Bluestar deal. We're reviewing the timetables, wanna come?
-He never told me...
-How do you do Mr. Gekko. I'm Bud Fox.
-So what s on your mind kimosabe? Why am I listening to you? Got to monitor my blood pressure, so whatever you do, don't upset me.
-Oh no, no...
-Within 45 seconds, a microprocessor computes your systolic and diastolic pressure. Has an LCD readout, and it's cost effective -- less than one visit to the doctor.
-I just want to let you know Mr. Gekko I read all about you at NYU Business, and I think you're an incredible genius and I've always dreamed of only one thing -- to do business with a man like you...
-So what firm you with, pal?
-Jackson, Steinem...
-...going places, good junk bond department, you got the financing on that Syndicam deal.
-...Yeah, and we're working on some other interesting stuff.
-...A cosmetics company by any chance? What are you, the 12th man on the deal team? The last to know?
-Can't tell you that, Mr. Gekko.
-Chart break-out on this one here...uh Whitewood-Young Industries...low P.E. Explosive earnings. 30% discount from book. Great cash flow. Coupla 5% holders. Strong management.
-...rings a bell somewhere. So what?
-A comer. 80 medium-body jets. 300 pilots, flies northeast, Canada, some Florida and Caribbean routes... great slots in major cities...
-...don't like airlines, lousy unions...
-How do you know?
-My home number's on the back...
-Hi sport.
-See this? Can you believe it? Two inch screen...
-...I can't even see it...
-...for my kid Rudy -- 3 years old, electronics freak, got a liquid crystal display 'stead of an electronic beam. We're going into a new age pal. So how's business today.
-Bluestar was at 21 and an eighth when I left the office. It might spin up to 25 by the bell...
-Teldar's shooting up. Buy any for yourself? Bet you were on the phone two minutes after you got out of my office.
-No sir, that would've been illegal...
-Mr. Gekko -- thank you for the chance. You won't regret this, you're with a winner.
-...put the rest of it in a money market account for now. I want to see what you know before I invest it...and save the cheap salesman talk, it's obvious.
-...come on sport, you gotta try harder, I need some exercise for chrissake...
-Mr. Gekko, I don't think I can...go on.
-Nice club, Mr. Gekko...
-Yeah... not bad for a City College boy. Bought my way into this club and now every one of these ivy league schmucks is sucking my kneecaps...I just got on the Board of the Zoological Society, cost me a million; that's the thing with WASPS -- they like animals but they can't stand people!
-I guess your father's not a union representative on that company.
-What? How do you know about my father?
-The most valuable commodity I know of is information. Wouldn't you agree on that?
-Know the name?
-'Course. Larry Wildman. One of the first raiders.
-Sir Larry Wildman. Like all Brits he thinks he was born with a better pot to piss in... bribed an old secretary of mine to open bar mouth and stole RDL Pharmaceuticals right out from under me. Wildman the white knight.
-Revenge is a dish best served cold... well, it's payback time, sport. ... see that building? I bought into it ten years ago. It was my first real estate deal. I sold it a couple of years later and made an $800,000 dollar profit. It was better than sex. At that time I thought that was all tne money in the world... Now, it's
-I don't understand.
-Wildman's in town. He just became an American citizen. Something big's about to go down. I want to know where he goes and who he sees. I want you, sport, to give me the missing half of the picture...
-Follow him? Mr. Gekko I... It's not what I do. I could lose my license. If the SEC found out, I could go to jail. It's inside information, isn't it?
-What about hard work?
-I got all I could get which was 750,000 shares plus 5000 March 50 calls. Average price of $47 a share And $4 per contract for the call. I just wish I could've got more.
-I'll be right there, fix them a drink.
-...we have 37.2 million invested. At this point, we're up 3.1 million and some change. If it goes to 75 bucks we can clean close to 12 mill.
-You're walking between the raindrops kid. I expect Sir Larry is choking on his royal chamber pot by now.
-My firm needs your signature on these option agreements tonight, sir, otherwise we could take a real bath tomorrow.
-Sorry, Mr. Gekko.
-I guess I'll head back...
-The break up value is higher. It's worth 80.
-He's right. I had to sell. The key to the game is your capital reserves. You don't have enough, you can't pee in the tall weeds with the big dogs.
-"All warfare is based on deception..." Sun Tzu says, If your enemy is superior, evade him, if angry, irritate him, if equally matched, fight... if not, split and reevaluate.
-Money never sleeps pal. When I came in in '69, they traded six hours a day, now the clock don't stop, London's deregulated, the Orient is hungrier than us. Just let the money circle the world, sport, buying and selling, and if you're smart it comes back paying. I just made $800,000 in Hong Kong gold. It's been wired to you -- play with
-Mr. Gekko, I'm there for you 110%.
-You don't understand. I want to be surprised...astonish me, sport, new info, don't care where or how you get it, just get it... My wife tells me you put a move on Darien. Here's some inside info for you. That Euroflash GQ guy she's going with's got big bucks but he's putting her feet to sleep. Exit visas are imminent. So don't lose your
-...Gordon.
-Got him at an auction in Kentucky.
-How much?
-The art of which is deception. Spread the buy orders through different accounts and you won't get burned...
-Mixed emotions, Buddy: like Larry Wildman going off a cliff in my new Maserati. Men as smart as myself have got their asses handed to them on a sling with the airlines, fuel could go up, unions are killers...
-Gordon what I want--and I never asked you for anything--is to be your co-pilot on this. I want to take this airline, turn it around, and make it work. It's gonna make us a fortune!
-I'm talking to a stockbroker who wants to run an airline. It's gonna take me two years and 2000 headaches to turn Teldar Paper around, what do I need this dink airline for? I'm up to my ass in more nuts than a fruitcake.
-Gordon, I worked at Bluestar, I know my way around, I have friends there...inside.
-What does that mean?
-The three unions. It's 43% of Bluestar's operating budget, the hourly cost of a flight crew is $850 an hour, that's the real hidden value G.G., if you can negotiate that out, get a crew down to $350-400 an hour a run, this airline is gonna be the hottest thing since Texas Air...
-What makes you think you can?
-I can talk to these people Gordon, they trust me...and my father can be a big help in getting cuts.
-And I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Gekko, and his lawyer, Mr. Salt.
-Now, wait a minute, Dad...
-I didn't know we had a meeting schedule for this morning.
-What the hell do you want?
-Last night I read Rudy the story of Winnie the Pooh and the Honey pot. Know what happened: he stuck his nose in that honey pot once too often and got stung.
-Maybe you ought to read him Pinocchio. You told me you were going to turn Bluestar around. Not upside down. You used me.
-You're walking around blind without a cane, sport. A fool and his money are lucky to get together in the first place.
-Why do you need to wreck this company?
-Because it's wreckable. I took another look and I changed my mind.
-If these people lose their jobs, nowhere to go. My father worked at Bluestar for twenty-four years. I gave 'em my word.
-It's all about bucks, kid, the rest is conversation... Bud, you're still going to be president. And when the time comes, you'll parachute out a rich man. With the money you're going to make, your father won't have to work another day in his life.
-Tell me, Gordon--when does it all end? How many yachts can you waterski behind? How much is enough?
-Buddy, it's not a question of enough. It's a zero sum game, sport. Somebody wins and somebody loses. Money itself isn't lost or made, it's simply transferred from one perception to another. Like magic. That painting cost $60,000 10 years ago. I could sell it today for $600,000. The illusion has become real. And the more real it becomes, the more desperately they want
-How much is enough Gordon?
-The richest one percent of this country owns half the country's wealth: 5 trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds of it comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulation to widows and idiot sons and what I do -- stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. Ninety percent of the American people have little or no net worth. I
-Believe me, Buddy, I was gonna discuss this with you at the right time. Look, why don't you calm down and come to the apartment for dinner tonight. Bring Darien...
-...I can't make it tonight.
-Gordon, it's two minutes to close. What do you want to do?! Decide.
-Hello Bud.
-Gordon.
-Hello again, I been holding these drinks for us for the last three weeks.
-Excuse me.
-Grand Marnier. A romantic and tragic drink.
-Oh yes, I remember you.
-Destiny took us apart, but I knew it would bring us back together.
-Aha. Poet or philosopher?
-I'd give anything to have this in my house, even for a week.
-...few thousand dollars down the drain if you ask me.
-Oh really? Well, I guess you can kiss that career as an art appraiser goodbye, because we paid over four hundred thousand for it at the contemporary picture sale last June.
-You could have a great beach house for that.
-Sure you could, in Wildwood, New Jersey. If you sold this, you could have a pretty nice penthouse on Fifth. But you wouldn't have much left over for decoration.
-Boy, I thought Gordon was a tough businessman, but somebody's really taking him to the cleaners here.
-Not really. I'd say that Gordon is one of the most astute collectors around. He has a great eye and he only buys the best. Like this rug for instance, a silk Tabriz, the finest of its kind. The day after he bought it in London, a dealer representing the Saudi Royal Family offered him twice what he paid. It absolutely makes the room.
-I gather you're a decorator.
-You got it, a great spender of other people's money.
-Well, if you're that good, you could probably do wonders at my place.
-Where is it?
-Upper West Side.
-Oh really. Home of the exposed brick wall and the houseplant.
-What if I have a previous engagement?
-Break it.
-I guess this must be destiny alright. My first yuppie apartment and... my first yuppie.
-So. See you Friday.
-You really do believe in destiny?
-Devon? He looks like Seattle Slew. What about the Triple Crown?
-He's not a racehorse, Bud, he's a jumper.
-If I could have anything... this would almost do.
-So, how did your conference go with Gordon?
-The conference, oh yeah. Fine. We reached an agreement and decided to divide up the world between us.
-You have modest wants. I like that in a man.
-And what do you want?
-...a Turner, a perfect canary diaiaond... a Lear jet... world peace... the best of everything...
-Well, why stop at that?
-I don't.
-...isn't it perfect!
-You know, the elevator man couldn't believe I paid $300,000 to have my walls looking like this, he's got them for free in Brooklyn.
-I'll bet he's got an opinion on the stock market too. This apartment is already ahead of its time. I call it the "demolished" look. They've already heard about it at House and Garden and they're coming next week to photograph it before it gets... lived in. Is that alright? I'd love to have it in my portfolio.
-Let's get things straight, Bud. I'm not going to take a cut. I worked hard and you can't decorate a room in New York for less than $100,000. Curtains alone...
-I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we're still young, Darien. So what's money anyway when everybody's making it, it's all relative. After all, this is not the house in Connecticut, this is just a crash pad good for a couple of years...before we slip our two lovely kids, Yuppie and Fruppie into the Lycee Francaise.
-You got it all charted out don't you, like a stock projection.
-Do you think you're ready?
-It's not me I'm worried about...You know Darien, the only reason we haven't slept together is because we both know we will -- and not knowing when was the only surprise left. You owe me, I want you, what else is there...but you, me, the world. ...right here...make love to me...now... Stop me if I'm going too far.
-Bud, I hate to tell you this but you're a genius! Darien...lightning has struck! The lightbulb has been invented. Edison, Da Vinci, Einstein are watching...
-...are you going to trade all night again? You got to go to work in a couple of hours.
-I love you, baby. Did I tell you that sometime in the last 24 hours?
-Sure, why not, money's the sex of the 80's. I never had it like you when I was growing up, baby, it wasn't the upper east side.
-You're so naive Bud, you don't even know. Your dad took care of you. I might've been rich when I was a kid...but my father lost all his money...in the seventies, in the stock market, at the track. He was a lousy gambler...
-...that changes all my plans, I thought you were loaded...
-So did I, till I hit 19 and found I had all the royal habits and no throne. Mom got by but I had to go to work just like you. Only the skills I had were shopping and making friends. So...that's why I do what I do, what makes you tick, Buddy?
-I'm sorry. I was afraid something like this could happen.
-Talk about being bent over the sink of life and being dry humped. I handed it to him on a silver platter. I told my father and those people...
-Buddy, it's not your fault, and it's not your decision.
-Don't cross Gordon. He'll crush you. You've worked hard to get where you are. If Gordon doesn't buy Bluestar someone else will; and who's to say they won't do the same thing.
-Are you mad! Why are you doing this! We're so close, the town is going to be ours. Don't throw away your future Bud!
-I can stay with the brokerage firm. And you're doing fine. We can survive without Gordon Gekko.
-I'm not looking to just survive. I've been doing that all my life.
-You really mean that? What'd he promise you? To take you public? I guess without Gordon's money and seal of approval, I'm not such a hot investment anymore. You're just the best money can buy, Darien...
-You're not exactly pure Bud, you went after Gekko with the same vengeance you went after me. Look in the mirror before...
-You may not believe this Bud but I really do care for you. I think we could've made a good team...but that's how it goes...
-Hi.
-Why?
-How you doing Buddy?
-Morning Buddy, you look happy.
-Any better and I'd be guilty.
-You were never that innocent sugarpie.
-Bud! Where you been the last two days?
-He had a heart attack, hon, but he's okay, he's at the hospital...
-You got a look in your eye, Mr. Mannheim... You got something for the small fry...
-Sleep with me and the secrets of the West are yours.
-Now that's a crap company, sure you'll make money on the takeover rumor, but what's being created. Nothing. No substance behind it.
-Mr. Mannheim, got a sure thing. Anacott Steel.
-No such thing Bud - 'cept death and taxes. Not a good company anymore, no fundamentals. What's going on Bud? Do you know something? Remember there're no short cuts son, quick buck artists come and go with every bull market but the steady players make it through the bear markets. You're part of something here, Bud. The money you make for people creates science
-You're right, Mr. Mannheim, but you gotta get to the big time first, then you can be a pillar and do good things.
-Can't get a little bit pregnant, Bud.
-You're on a roll kiddo. Enjoy it while it lasts -- 'cause it never does.
-I thought this was an informal meeting. What's he doing here?
-Frankly, Carl, I can't see giving much more. If you have any suggestions I'll be glad to listen.
-There came into Egypt a Pharoah who did not know.
-I beg your pardon. Is that a proverb?
-Fine, if you don't want us, stay with the scum in present management--dedicated to running you and Bluestar into the ground.
-What do you say we go get a suite at the Carlyle? Caviar? Champagne? Celebrate, just like the old times Sunshine.
-Those days are over, Gordon. They were over a long time ago.
-So what's the problem Sunshine? You look like Black Thursday. Bad case of puppy love?
-It's not puppy love, Gordon. Anyway, Buddy and I are splitting up.
-Sorry to hear that. I thought the kid had staying power.
-It's over you, Gordon.
-You told him about us?
-I want to ask you a big favor, Gordon. Please drop the Bluestar deal.
-Now tell me, why would I want to do that?
-Because I don't want to see him hurt.
-Don't worry Sunshine. Bud and I had a little talk. We came to an understanding. I want you to go back to him. Soothe him. Help keep his head straight. Okay?
-I can't...and I won't.
-Come on, we both like Buddy. But this bleeding heart puppy love act is over the top... It doesn't fit.
-Maybe it does. Don't patronize me Gordon.
-You and I are the same, Darien. We're smart enough not to buy into the oldest myth running: love... A fiction created by people who got nothing to keep them from jumping out of windows.
-You're really twisted, Gordon. You're incapable of giving to anybody because deep down inside you there's a poverty that every last dollar in the world won't fill.
-Yeah, Billy, who's your buyer?... No, not interested. Ollie, start calling a the institutions, start with Marx at Janson Mutual, then Reardon. Get me that California retirement money, baby! And we're on our way!
-He respond to the offer? What? What the hell's Cromwell doing giving lecture tours when his company's losing 60 million a quarter? I guess he's giving lectures on how to lose money...if this guy opened a funeral parlor, no one would die, this turkey's totally brain dead...Well Christmas is over and business is business. Keep buying. Dilute the sonofabitch. Ollie I want every orifice
-... just got 250,000 shares at 18 1/4 from Janson, think I'll pull twice that at 18 1/2 outta the California pensions. We got close to half a million shares in the bag.
-Hey, the Terminator! Blow 'em away Ollie.
-And, I'm pretty sure we got the Beezer Brothers out of Tulsa coming in with us and I'm working on the Silverberg boys in Canada.
-Rarest pistol in the world, Larry, a .45 Luger. Only six were ever manufactured.
-Congratulations but rarer still is your interest in Anacott Steel.
-The same interest as yours Larry. Money. I thought it'd be a good investment for my kid...
-You must be wearing a mask you're laughing so hard behind it Larry. Let's cut the "sir" crap. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when you took CNX Electronics, you laid off 8,000 workers, Jessmon Fruit about 6,000, that airline...
-Considering you brought my mother into it, $71.50.
-With all due respect, Mr. Gekko, what's to prevent you from doing the same thing?
-Are you prepared to put that in writing?
-Cards are on the table. What do you think?
-We know what you're up to, Gekko, and let me tell you this from here, you suck eggs, mister, over my dead body you ain't gonna break up Bluestar.
-Listen, you clowns, there's somebody else out there trying to buy your airline, if you want to be Pac-manned and gobbled by Atilla the Hun be my guest!
-I saw the greatest movie with mark last night
-With Mark?
-He still likes you
-Oh I don't give a shit the guy's a slob. He doesn't even know how to spell `lady' let alone treat me like one. You know the last time we went out he actually made me pay for a drink?
-He did?
-Yes, I'm sure. What I need is an older man, something with class, a little style. Someone who knows how to treat a lady.
-Businessman?
-Businessman!
-Doctor? Lawyer? CHINA Lawyer, Doctor, I don't care.
-Yeah, yeah, OK
-Yeah
-But?
-But he still has something Mark hasn't.
-What's that?
-Well that's for me to know - but I did enjoy rubbing oil all over that big.
-Anybody want another drink?
-We need to talk. CHINA Yeah about what?
-About what? About us.
-Us is over. You had your chance you blew it.
-Right. CHINA I need a taking care of, not `hey how bout a pizza after class babe'. I'm looking for something just a little more in a man. A little `je nes se qua'.
-A little what? CHINA See. You don't even speak French.
-I'm sorry I'm not that good at languages ok?
-Yeah well why should I suffer for that?
-Well if you're in such a rush darling, why don't you lead the way?
-Oh Mark. It's ok. It's ok.
-Weird and tiny huh?
-Yes, it's always been one of my favorites too.
-Hmm.
-Would you like a closer look?
-Yes, I guess you're right
-Your books Master Loftmore
-Thank you Jenkins
-And your coff - excuse me, caffeine sir
-Thank you
-And uh, your nicotine sir
-Thank you
-Will you be wanting your wheels today sir?
-Uh, not today Jenkins, I need the fresh air
-We're all here, and ready sir!
-Jenkins!
-Jenkins. Can I get you some help?
-Hello?
-Hello, Mrs. Webster. Is China there?
-No Jonathan.
-No?
-She went to a waxwork party
-A party at a waxwork huh?
-Can I give her a message?
-Velcome to ve Vaxverk.
-I hope you enjoyed your visit.
-Uh yes, thank you. It was quite enjoyable.
-Two of your friends left earlier MARK Uh huh.
-They seemed, closing by much
-Tony and China?
-Haven't we been doing our homework.
-Getting scared? Don't worry, they've probably just gone home.
-What? Tony and China, together?
-Wooo. Jealously rearing its ugly head.
-Then why do you still like her?
-Like her? I don't know if I ever liked her. It's just you want what you can't get.
-No Mark. MARK Why not?
-I don't know. I really like you and I think you're very attractive.
-Come on.
-No, no James, it's not like that. Tony and China, they're just friends.
-That's not what you said last night.
-Ok, so maybe I was a little over emotional.
-You aren't sick! We've got to get back. What are you doing!
-Listen Sarah, I think I know what's going on ok. I went to the waxwork today.I met this man.
-Oh that explains everything.
-You don't understand. I recognized his face now come on.
-If my mother caught me up here she'd kill me.
-Well?
-Well, it all started when a friend and I
-Sarah listen to me.
-I can't believe she went out with that monster last night
-Guys, if I'm going to play the hero at least give me a little room.
-Safety in numbers man.
-Anyone else not coming?
-This time I really don't see anyone man.
-Must be what we came for. The four stand slowly and enter through the doors, which close behind them. They begin walking around the WAXWORKS, which appear gruesome. The first they spy is of a high school student with a letter jacket on the verge of being hacked with an axe by and angry woodsman. They give each other looks of disgust and continue
-Sir Wilfred, this is Sarah Brighton. This is Sir Wilfred.
-No thank you sir we're fine.
-So Mark, what's so urgent?
-Well?
-Well divide 18 into three
-If you sold your soul to the devil, you'd never age either
-Sell my soul?
-Any student of Black Magic can do it. .most of these books will tell you how! SARAH So what happens when you've sold out?
-You get yourself a regular job, as Satan's disciple.
-Can this be stopped?
-Darling? I hear you were having drinks with the butler the other night. Now you know that sort of thing leads to anarchy.
-Mom.
-One has to keep the distance between `them' and `us'
-They're all human beings
-Servants. Oh isn't it terrible darling, two more people have disappeared
-Oh really? We're they `us'es' or `them's'?
-Don't be facetious darling. Now drink your milk, you're late for college
-Mom, when are you going to let me have some coffee in the morning?
-When - you're a big boy. I mean you know it's bad for you
-But mom, I NEED THE CAFFINE - BADLY
-Stop saying things so loud!
-Save it for the powder room babe, this man is in pain
-You bet. We all can't be such modern people
-Come on Mark MARK Ah hell, why not. I'll get the maid to write the essays
-Looks a little spooky boys, you think we should do this?
-Do you have a scarf?
-Yes?
-It's only two hours away.
-I know that.
-I'll come back all the time.
-Of course you will.
-That was very good.
-Mom, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you. But it never felt right.
-Besides, Dad would have freaked.
-No, he wouldn't.
-I think playing in a band called "Bitch" might put a dent in the whole "perfect family" thing.
-That's not true.
-He loves you very much. He just--
-Are you mad at me?
-I miss you.
-So much.
-It got so bad your father almost had to put me away.
-What do you mean?
-I started seeing things.
-Did you?
-No. But once I heard...
-What?
-Someone crying. A girl. I thought I was crazy.
-Who's idea was it?
-I didn't want to come.
-Then why did you?
-Because he was worried about me.
-Your husband?
-Yes. I'm sure he's hoping you'll pack me full of prozac so he can live out his life in peace.
-Do you really think so?
-Why is he worried?
-Fireball?
-These are good.
-She finished my solitaire game and turned on the radio...she likes rock and roll. Angry rock and roll.
-How do you know it's a she?
-I saw her in the water. Beside me. She was filling the bathtub.
-What does she look like?
-Pretty. She's a blond.
-Do you have any idea who she is?
-Um...I'd rather not say...just yet.
-Fine.
-What?
-Try to communicate with her somehow.
-You think that'll help?
-Are you humoring me?
-How?
-What's happening to me?
-Whether you imagined it or not, you actually saw and heard things that frightened you...that gave you reason for concern.
-Yes, but...
-Your friend saw them.
-Isn't there something called group hysteria?
-You think you influenced her?
-Maybe. I don't know. I just know that when all this was happening, I felt, some part of me felt...alive. Like somebody needed me. And the more I reached out to, it, the fuller it became.
-You're saying you willed these events to happen?
-She said, "You know." That I know.
-Do you?
-No.
-I felt...pain. That she'd been hurt by someone. This is great. I'm trying to intuit the emotions of a figment of my--
-Have you been hurt?
-Me? No. Well, in the accident I was injured, but...
-You were in an accident?
-What?
-That he doesn't...see me, or, you know, that I'm...that's something's wrong...with me.
-That can't feel good.
-Of course. You must be so proud.
-I am.
-How're you holding up?
-Norman was telling me the dream house is finally finished.
-Almost.
-I'm sorry?
-Uh-huh. What can be?
-For the Dupont Chair. I swear. I'm becoming the nosy old lady I used to run from at Amherst.
-No. I'm just not sure what you mean.
-There was just...some tension. You were upset. I remember being concerned.
-At the party.
-Toward the end. You remember?
-Ohhh yes. No, no. Just a little, you know...We're fine.
-Well, I'm glad. Pardon my intrusiveness, but we do have to stick together you know.
-Who's that?
-Yes?
-Um...
-I'm running late here. I just came back for my briefcase.
-Right. Well, I wanted to stop by to welcome you to the uh, to the neighborhood. I'm Claire Spencer. From next door.
-Well maybe your wife...
-She isn't here.
-When...when will she be back?
-I don't know.
-Oh-kay...
-Who?
-Give me that shit. Your wife.
-Who are you?
-It's Mrs...It's Claire...Spencer. From next door. Is everything--
-You're the flower lady.
-Um...yes.
-I've seen you. From the window.
-Hello?
-He's so...it's too much...and I can't...I can't breath...
-Who? Your husband?
-What? What are you afraid of?
-Tell me. Please.
-Tell me. I can help you.
-How? How can you help me? With your flowers and your perfect life...
-That's not...It's not like that.
-I've never even met you.
-I know. And I'm sorry. I've been consumed with...my daughter left...for school.
-This fence...it's so...
-Oh God. He's back. I'm sorry. Please forget that I...I don't know what I'm saying. Please...
-I wanted to apologize.
-You do?
-For scaring you like I did. When I thought about what that must have seemed like that day...
-And then you weren't there.
-Would you like some iced tea?
-Your house is so beautiful.
-Thank you.
-No.
-Of what? What were you so afraid of?
-Love.
-What?
-Have you ever felt so completely consumed by a feeling for someone that you couldn't breathe? That the time together is so passionate and consuming that you felt physical pain when they would leave?
-Um...sure.
-You must think I'm pathetic.
-No. No, I don't.
-Mrs. Frank?
-Yeah.
-I'd like to talk to you about Madison.
-You know where she is?
-No, I don't.
-What's your name?
-Claire.
-Just plain old coffee. None of that mocha nonsense.
-You look a little old for a student.
-I'm not. We...we met at a party.
-Sounds about right. Never understood how a girl that wild got all A's. Sure didn't get it from me. They wanted to put her in a special school for the gifted when she was young. Maddie wouldn't hear about it.
-She never mentioned her father.
-Why are you here?
-I don't know.
-Full scholarships. Princeton too. She wanted to stay close.
-They're calling me in to work.
-Y'hear anything you'll let me know?
-What was her major?
-Wow.
-This is...
-He looked like one of the Monkees.
-Anyway, Claire slept with him...
-I didn't sleep with him.
-...just so she could cut them off.
-He was so pissed.
-I came in from my room...
-We were suite mates.
-And there's this brilliant conductor in purple briefs with no bangs cursing his ass off in Finnish.
-You should have heard her play.
-Stop.
-We both auditioned for the Philharmonic. One cello position open.
-Do we have to?
-And I kicked ass. My best stuff. Then I stood in the hallway and listened to her audition...and I cried.
-She's making this up.
-She got it. Turned it down.
-How you holding up?
-Good. I'm good.
-You are?
-Why does everyone find that so surprising?
-Cause...your...only daughter just went away to school...who you were incredibly close with aaand I'd be tripping...
-Okay, I'm a little tender.
-Well good. So you're human.
-And so far my day has consisted of taking pictures of my roses for the garden club.
-What is it?
-Kambucha mushroom tea...
-Jody--
-It soothes heart-ache and promotes psychic wellness. Sela suggested I bring--
-You're discussing me with your psychic?
-She's not a psychic. Just a very enlightened spirit.
-Thanks, but I'm fine.
-Oh my god. You bought it.
-Yep.
-It's niiice.
-Beautiful thing, alimony. Lose a husband, get a car. Think it'll help me pick up dudes?
-Absolutely.
-Listen, I've gotta run. I just thought I'd stop by and see if you want to take the boat out, say Thursday morning?
-You think he killed her?
-Know what I think?
-What?
-Seance.
-Jody, no...
-Telling you...
-...no...no...no...
-Just bought this beautiful antique Ouija.
-Someone's there.
-What?
-In the window. Norman's at work.
-Wow. I'm losing it.
-Sit down here.
-Place your fingers on the planchette.
-The planchette?
-We wish to commune with the spirit of Mrs. Feur. What's her first name?
-Nothing's happening.
-Oh...
-Mef? What's Mef?
-I have to go.
-Are you okay?
-I think so
-I'm sorry for leaving, but I mean, Jesus, Claire...
-It's alright.
-Does Norman know?
-Jody, she's alive.
-What?
-Mrs. Feur. She's alive. I met her. She's really sweet.
-Then what was it?
-Nothing. It wasn't anything. I've been on edge lately. Maybe since the accident. And I'd prefer, I really would, to just--
-Something was there. You saw it.
-Did I?
-Yes. Now I talked to Sela and there's a guy, this Pakistani guy down in Hartford...
-Hartford?
-And he's the real thing. Specializes in cases like this, like yours.
-No. Jody, listen to me. You have to listen to me. This is not something that I can do right now. Whatever it was, it's gone. I need it to be gone now.
-But Claire--
-Okay. Okay.
-Oh God...you knew.
-I was down in Adamant...
-Adamant?
-I started to walk over...but he wasn't alone. A blond. I only caught a glimpse. She was young. I should have said something right away. But I didn't.
-Why?
-Partly because I didn't want to hurt you...but partly...partly because I was relieved.
-Relieved?
-By the time I finally got up the nerve to tell you, Stan called from the hospital and it was too late.
-Too late? Jody, it was an accident.
-I got there first. Stan covered up the pills and I had it out with Norman. He seemed desperate not to lose you. He promised to handle it. And we all let it drop away.
-I'm a terrible friend.
-How could I expect you to tell me something that I wouldn't even tell myself?
-What are you going to do?
-I don't know.
-If she was dangerous before--
-She could have hurt me if she wanted to.
-You don't know that. If it's your belief that gives her form, then you've got to shut her out. Somehow you have to break the connection.
-Jody, she tried to kill him.
-I know.
-I can't believe this is happening.
-We need help. Please let me call the medium.
-Alight, alright. Stay calm. You opened this door. There's got to be a way that you can close it.
-Like what?
-I have an idea. But, I mean, I'm just making this up...
-But he acted like he'd never heard of it.
-Did he say that?
-Jody he was lying.
-What if he was? Do you think he wanted to bring that up again just when you're trying to make a new start?
-I guess not.
-You've got a beautiful life. And even with this, it's always been clear that he loves you. I've come to think that's all that really matters.
-I don't know...
-Christ, that's twice in...When did they move in?
-I think three...
-What's their name?
-She's awake.
-When's she out of here?
-Alright. I can't take the rejection. I'm going to class.
-Don't.
-Claire, I have to show up for the--
-It's today?
-Claire?
-Whatcha reading?
-Genetic repair mechanisms in eukaryotic organisms.
-Excellent. Couple of Swedish sailor cells just gang divided a virginal cheerleader cell.
-If you have to work...
-How are you?
-Fine.
-It's okay if you're not.
-I am, really.
-It's just she's been the focus for a while.
-Not the focus.
-To tell you the truth...I'm excited.
-You are...
-You did a great job. She's a good kid.
-It's just us now.
-Tired?
-Nope.
-Wanna fool around?
-Did you...
-And we moved out here for the quiet.
-Maybe we should just...
-Tomorrow.
-I'm finished at three. No. Squash with Stan.
-After that.
-Of what?
-Of him I think.
-Did she say that?
-Honey, they're young. They're probably newlyweds.
-I'm telling you. There was something in her voice...
-Remember how we were?
-Not like this. We were never like this. I want to go over there. After dinner, we can--
-Why?
-Claire, honey, we are not going to march next door and accuse our new neighbor of--
-That's not what I'm sug--
-...when tonight they'll probably be keeping us awake.
-But what if something happens?
-Claire...
-I'd never be able to live with mysel--
-Nothing's going to happen. Besides, I have to work tonight. The conference is in less than two weeks. I've got to stay focused on that for just a little longer. This is...
-I know.
-I just wish you could have heard her.
-Look, I'll call Harvey Tomes in the Psych department, see what I can find out.
-Norman, you have to look at this!
-Mmnph.
-Nothing. There was...I thought I saw something.
-Hi.
-Oh.
-Unless you need me to come home...
-Claire?
-What are you doing here?
-What do you mean? Some noises where?
-In the house. I was scared.
-Did you call the police?
-No. Can you drive me home? I'll bring you back in the morning.
-It was there. This angry music all by itself. And I heard whispering.
-What kind of whispering?
-I've got the conference next week. I want you to feel safe.
-Think I may have cracked it.
-I think so. Maybe.
-You are so brilliant.
-Yep.
-Madame Curie, Jonas Salk, Norman Spencer...
-Ohmigod. You'll never believe...I saw Schumway...
-You're kidding.
-He's here giving some arcane spiel for the physics department, so Bob Shine introduces us...
-And he says...you'll fucking love this, he says, "Doctor Spencer, I am a great admirer of your work..."
-Well, that's nice.
-"...especially Spencer's Theorem..."
-Oh, no...
-"...of Perpetual Distances." Everybody's checking their shoelaces. Pins drop. "I'm afraid you've mistaken me," I say...
-That's...
-"...for my father."
-I'm so sorry.
-Didn't know he was dead, every stinking paper on the globe.
-That's just mean. Oh. Jody wanted to know if I could get her some.
-Did you tell her?
-What? No. No.
-You didn't?
-Sorry. You understand.
-Did you call about the Feurs?
-Oh, right. Yes. Harvey says the guy's a sweetheart. Wouldn't hurt a fly.
-Get down! He'll see.
-What's going on, Claire?
-He killed her.
-What?
-He did. She's in the picture. I went over to look and she's gone. The table was set for one.
-And that means he murdered his wife? This is getting ridic--
-Our house.
-It's a flare.
-A flare?
-From the sun. It's a reflection on the glass.
-It's her! I'm telling you. She whispered and turned on the music. She's trying to contact me!
-Where is she then?
-She could be out. She could be sick in bed for all we know.
-See?
-What am I looking at?
-I didn't do that.
-Who did? Mrs. Feur?
-Maybe. Point is...not me.
-Right. And why is she here? If he killed her, why doesn't she haunt him?
-She was lonely, I talked to her. Norman, I know how it looks, but--
-Claire, listen to me. I know you're under some strain. But there's no such thing as ghosts. They don't exist. Our neighbor did not kill his wife, and I...wait, why aren't you dressed?
-Dressed?
-Dinner. With Stan and his new girl.
-When?
-What do you mean? Claire, we talked about it. You didn't want Japanese, I said, Our first date since...
-Oh.
-...since Caitlin. You don't remember this?
-Tonight?
-When you do this, I swear...
-...Don't get all...
-...like it never even happened...
-What are you doing?
-Restaurant. Let them know we're running late.
-You're not at the center.
-I know I'm not at the center of the bridge.
-There we go.
-I don't need a shrink.
-Harvey says he's amazing.
-Norman...
-Claire, she's been a huge part of your life for seventeen years. If you weren't thrown off balance by this, then something would be wrong.
-I never said I wasn't upset. Of course I'm upset. I miss her terribly. But I know what I saw and what I heard...and it wasn't some "symptom" of something...
-I never said...
-Are you lonely?
-What are you doing out here?
-He killed her. I'm not crazy. He killed her and--
-This is the Feur thing?
-How do you know this?
-We had a seance.
-Who did?
-Jody and I. And she was there, Norman, she was. It scared Jody so bad she had to leave.
-How did you--
-What?
-Maybe you resent how busy I've been.
-What are you...? No.
-You know what I've got at stake with this paper. You know that. I can't help but think that you're doing this now to hurt me, or to sabotage me somehow.
-Sabotage?
-Ever since the accident I've been worried that you'd been unhappy, or...
-The accident...?
-But then you've been so much better...
-Norman, this isn't about you. This is something that's happening to me. It's not to get even...and it's not some warped bid for attention. Some strange things are happening in our house, whether you believe in them or not...
-Sweetheart--
-Keep your voice down.
-Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm losing my mind...
-I'm sorry...
-...I'm pulling up, Yuri. I'll see you for dinner. Sure you won't stay?
-No, it's fine. I'm fine.
-Do I have everything?
-Yep.
-What?
-You know I am.
-You were lost in the music...eyes closed...your chest heaving...
-I felt you...looking through me...
-We walked all night...
-You don't remember?
-You dropped a glass.
-I...
-A cheap wine glass from the caterers. You started crying. I tried to comfort you...
-In the living room...
-You shoved me away and ran out to the patio. I took you home.
-But why? I can't understand how I could just completely--
-It was maybe a week after the accident. We were moving. It was a hard time.
-But I don't remember.
-Sweetheart, it was over a year ago.
-I may have seen her on campus.
-Not personally.
-No. I'm afraid to ask what this is about.
-It's her. This is the woman who I've seen.
-The...
-I thought it was Mrs. Feur, but it's not...
-Stop...
-...I'm positive this time...
-...Please stop...
-It's Madison Fra--
-I take it your not mad at me.
-Ow!
-What's the matter?
-It's too rough.
-I don't like this, this...
-I think she's starting to suspect something.
-Who?
-Your wife...
-"You know..."
-I was there.
-Claire--
-I came to work in the garden and I saw you with her...in my house.
-Oh God...
-It was last year. We were having troubles.
-So you fucked a student?!
-That's not what I'm sayi--
-Claire, please don't...
-What did you think I would do? Jesus Christ! I gave up my life and my music...
-I never asked you to quit!
-THAT'S NOT TRUE! You wanted to quit! And then when you did, you hated me for it... so you gave it all to her.
-Who?
-Leave her out of this!
-And then out of nowhere, some bright young woman found me attractive...
-Stop...
-...would do anything just to be around me. And I slipped. God help me, I slipped.
-I tried to break it off!
-You should have tried harder.
-Claire...
-She was damaged and unstable. The more I tried to distance myself, the more desperate she became. Finally, she showed up at the new house...
-She did it.
-We don't know that for sure.
-We have to get out of here.
-It's alright.
-Can't you see, she's trying to kill us.
-She's gone.
-What?
-She can't be here without me.
-How can you be sure?
-I don't know, but I am. She was there and then she was gone. I felt it.
-The leaves...
-Incredible. We should take a drive before they're gone. Spend the night at some cozy little bed and breakfast.
-Look for antiques...
-Yep. There's some great places nearby.
-Adamant.
-What?
-Little village down seven. Supposed to be charming.
-Huh.
-Do you know it?
-Don't think so.
-What's that for?
-Nothing.
-I'm cooking you dinner.
-You don't have to do that.
-I know.
-She's out there isn't she? She's in the lake.
-Okay. Don't...you don't understand what this is.
-Don't I, Norman? YOU KEPT THE FUCKING NECKLACE. Of a woman you killed!
-I did NOT! I did not kill anyone. Jesus. Claire, listen to me. I walked in and she was lying there dead. I swear to you. On my life! She took pills and she killed herself in our house to destroy me! To destroy us! If I hadn't stopped by here before school, the painters would have--
-I don't believe you.
-Mmmuh...
-Shhhh.
-What?
-:What, you're doing Darcy? Since when?
-:No, I said, I hate what I'm doing to Darcy. Oh, boy, men are stupider, it's true.
-:Would you stop it!
-:Well, they are.
-:What do you mean "They" are? Are you officially a woman now?
-Many times over the past thirty years. Why he shows himself to me, I don't know but Lasher's not some mindless wraith.
-Then what is he...?
-Going away doesn't mean you leave Lasher behind. He was on Rowan's deck - and the plane... geography seems irrelevant now.
-Thank you for this honor, my dear.
-You've been shadowing the family for thirty years. It's only fitting you give one af us away.
-I have seen him again. Last night.
-Lasher will act, Rowan. Whatever it is he wants - he's waited three hundred years to have it. facing him alone... I don't like -
-Are you alright...? You look pale.
-There are two.
-Two what...?
-With his hands!
-You've always said you felt goodness in them - that the witches brought you and Rowan together. Isn't that right...? They're reaching out to you, Rowan!
-But it doesn't make sense. They - they used Lasher... they conspired with him.
-Jesus I've got - to get to the ho--
-How do you know about Rowan ...? I didn't --- Cemetery...?
-With her family. Rowan's mother died yesterday.
-I ask only that you stay here, long enough to be - educated. A few hours.
-I - r saw him as a child. Lots of times... But no one else did.
-A what...?
-No scaredy-cats in the Talamasca, huh...?
-There is a difference between sensing danger - and being afraid. what defines you in the landscape, Michael...? what anchors your life...? Your work...? Your creativity...?
-Rowan.
-Don't tell Rowan about this.
-Michael, Rowan should -
-What have the witches always asked of you...?
-"Go back, Michael. Do what you can..."
-on't know what else to do. Maybe I just don't belong in her life. well - I'm already out of her life.
-Nothing was ever more false.
-I'll probably be back in a week...but I can't spend Christmas in that house. you'll check on her - every day...?
-Aaron - lieten to me... It's been Lasher - from the start!
-What are you talk---
-Rowan...
-Rowan - I'm Beatrice Maytair. Your cousin. Deedee...you'r mother and I - we - we grew up together.
-I hope Ryan explained that if you stay in this town, you're shackled with pushy relations for the rest of your life.
-He made that quite clear, yes.
-Aren't they gauche...? Those steel things are so - common.
-You two sees like a perfect fit. Only two mounths...?
-Mm-hmm. Seems & lot longer.
-Always give the crovd a taste, darling. Now - Ryan said I'm supposed to make sure -
-'The heir to the fortune must wear the Mayfair pendant an her wedding day.' We should all have to suffer such burdens.
-Then you wear it.
-I'm sure he's alright, Bea. They'll find him somewhere.
-Down here. darling, we figure: If you're taking a trip to God knows where - might as well have one hell of a going-away party.
-In certain cases, hell is the operative word.
-You babbling that nonsense - now...? This is a wedding.
-I'm not saying I believe it...but I heard it 'nough times to know somebody did. They made a deal with the devil. Y'know - "make us rich" - worship the number thirteen - the whole bit. And some stuff about 'bringing them all back through a door...'
-Gifford Mayfair - I'll cook your tongue on a spit! witches!
-E11ie - Diedre died at five o'clock this morning. Obviously, there are 1egal matters. Your discretion will be -
-Hello...? Who is this...?
-Who is this...?
-Rowan Mayfair. Who's calling...?
-I beg your par---
-When did she die...?
-Who is this...?
-I don't have any aunts - and I've never heard of a 'Carlotta' - or, for that matter - a 'Diedre'! Just who -
-My...mother...?
-Yes. Listen carefully, Rowan. Have your attorney contact me at once. There are matters of immediate -
-But my mother... Ellie said she died -
-I under5tand. All the same
--Ellie said she died when I was BORN! She's been alive...? ALL THIS TIME...? Why have I been lied to when -
-I had you sent away.
-Who the hel1 -
-It was quite warranted by the - situation. I realize this is a shock, but really, Rowan - you never even knew her. It's not as if you've suffered some great -
-What's the matter with you...?! What kind of person are you...?!
-A very tired one. I've been up all night - and I would .like to rest before the funeral. Have your lawyer -
-When is the funeral...? I am coming to my mother's funeral!!
-Out of the question Rowan, coming here will not change the -
-You came. I'm your Aunt Carlotta, my dear.
-I want to see my mother. Where is she...?
-She was alive all these years... You NEVER let me know her. Who gave you that right...?!
-A Mayfair it ever I saw one.
-I might as well be Rowan Smith - or Jones! you cut me off from every -
-I'm tired. I need to rest.
-I don't want the -
-Other properties as well - here and in Europe. And vest holdings - in sugar, oil, gold, electronics. Liquid funds over eighty million. tmpcssible to put a figure on it all. All yours now.
-Eighty million doll --- ?
-What is it...?
-You can see well in the dark, Rowan.
-Better than most, I suppose.
-You kept her in this filth in restraints...?.
-She didn't feel them
-Antha...your grandmother...her life ended there, on the stones. Head split open like a melon.
-Why are you doing this...? Handing out these horrors! Why...?!!
-He's shown himself to you... on the deck. In the storm.
-Lasher touched you and you loved it.
-It wes a dream...!
-Just like your mother - and all the others that felt him - and used his power - and went to hell with a smile!
-Stop it!
-Witches. Rowan. that is what we are.
-And that is why I pushed your grandmother onto the stones - even as she had him inside her...
-You're mad! Your mind is sick!
-...and why I put thirty years between you and the beautiful monster. To kill the legacy! you are the sum of his desires -
-You - are - a - murderer.
-Did you like it...? Looking down at Graham and knowing what you could do...?
-Mum... Oh Mum, God will surely strike us -
-Go back, MICHAEL... Go Back
-The door, Michael. find the key...
-Michael... Do what you can.
-Lasher - bring us through!
-Parents say he - uh - fell -
-- and he seemed okay. Just banged his -
-FAST.
-uh - then he - be just -
-Massive subdural hamatoma. We have to evacuat it - right now.
-I'll tell OR we're bringing -
-You do not love Michael How can you love - if you lie...?
-Lie...?
-Yes, Michael. Harder--. More...
-I am with you, my love. Like no other can ever be.
-STOP!
-The wasps were meant for Michael - but there's only so much you can control, isn't there? The great and powerful lasher - undone by a faulty ladder-.. Why would you hurt him...?! Answer me.
-I 1ove you, Rowan. I've always loved you. I only wanted to be in your thoughts. To bring myself into your thoughts - so I could be as we are now.
-YOU VIOLATED ME!!! ON MY WEDDING NIGHT!
-Explain this to me --- violated...?
-Made it...?
-It is from love.
-To love, you must be able to feel.
-If I could feel like you feel...but I have only others' feelings - . . like breeres that blow through me. Things to be felt, yes --- but not nine to feel...
-It you harm Michael, I will let my anger loose. And you will feel that. Do you understand...?
-You're very clever, aren't you...?
-I'm going to have a baby. Michael wants to name it after you - if it's a girl. Diedre Mayfair Curry. Pretty, huh...? Funny --- I never really thought I'd ever ---
-There is no one here but the dead.
-Go away! I don't want you here.
-If that were true, I would not be here.
-It's very dangerous to assume you know what a woman wants.
-A girl...?
-you crave what I might show you. What you can learn. What I can give you. So much more than Michael can.
-What Michael gives me is stronger than anything you could ever inderstand.
-But I could understand. I want to understand!
-I LOVE him!
-Do not tell me that!
-I know that you're evil.
-I only wanted to see as others do... feel as others do... ...but Marguerite could not help me. Nor Julien...
-And now you expect me to stockpile corpses for you...?!
-I've waited for you - the one whose science could match her powers... Do you know what it's like - to sense the majesty of something so sublime just beyond your reach...? to float in a dream that keeps a .promise half-hidden in its shadows.-.? I did not choose to be such as this! Suzanne brought me here. She called to me!
---- and I have heard you from the beginning... from it's very first beat.
-I love Michael...
-You mustn't hurt him. Mustn't - mustn't hurt..
-Focus all your powers on me, Rowan until it is done. Only me...
-Only you...
-Go on. Rowan. Go on.
-What is wrong...?
-Wrong...? Science is not magic.
-I do not understand...
-You went into the cells --- and you changed them. How...?!
-There was no thought. There was no act. That is not what I am.
-I don't know what you are!!!
-No!
-Aaron was in the dream. A dream tilled with spirits. you killed him, didn't you...?
-The portraits, Lasher. Why are the witches always before a door...? Tell me, Lasher. Now!
-Oh god...
-Rowan and I will be together now. My time has come. Your time is gone.
-Put - him - down! His - his heart...
-Let me go... Michaelllllll...
-ENOUGH! He is dead. You are here for me now. Michael is gone!
-I'll destroy you. I swear it! If you don't kill me, I'll find a -
-I am your son. I would not wound you. I could not - ever.
-Harder...
-Rowan...
-Harder...
-Like this... LIKE THIS...?
-Yessss...
-They like you ------- kids.
-I've read the stories - and seen the news coverage.
-I don't remember you at all- You - you saved my life- Bizarre thing to say, isn't it...?
-I'm glad you're around to say it.
-My jury's still out on that,
-Do they keep everything 'out' ...?
-What do you see...?
-Just one. The bar's closed.
-The one time I want it to work...
-You know - doors and keyholes are common signposts in out-of-body -
-You're not gonna give me the textbook analysia, are you doctor...? My vision was just the chemical reaction of an oxygen-starved brain - and nobody -
-Harder...
-Rowan...
-HARDER!
-Like this...? LIKE THIS...?!
-you're very --- different.
-What else did you see- Michael...?
-My uncle. Graham. He and my Aunt, Ellie raised me. He - he - had a stroke- Just before Ellie died - of cancer. Last year.
-It's unbelievable that you can do that.
-My mother and I used to take long walks and make up stories about the houses and the people who lived inside. The Queen's house-. the Gangster's house-. the clown's house- Like that.
-And whose houses do you design...?
-Oh. The Green underwater Ghost's... The Man With The Eyes In His Hands...
-I was born, in New Orleans, too-
-Really...? Your family there...?
-Too much... too fast...?
-He's very pleased with your response to the surroundings.
-you touched him --- and saw him...? What was he doinging. Kinky...?
-You look very deep when you do that. It's interesting. We're Complete opposites- I'd never just sit and wait for insparation. I'd skip my turn and swap some letters.
-Y-U-H-E-E-Y-A-H. Yu-hee-yah...? No way, busters use it in a sentence.
-Why don't you let at do that...?
-Just sit there and soak up the vitamin D.
-Doctor's orders- - -?
-Far from it, Michael... Don't put me up there.
-All I meant was -
-Christ, Michael - what the hell are we doing...? We don't even know -
-Is this the part where you try and talk yourself out of how good this is...?
-I'm serious. You don't -
-Let's see... Next you tell me all the terrible things about you - and prove that we're doomed to fail - right...? you hate kittens and puppies, you've drivin all your lovers to suicide --and those mysterious deaths at the hospital were really -
-Stop it.
-Seems more like a year than a month.
-I called Dr. Styles at the Neurological Institute In L.A., remember...? He said he'd see you. He was intrigned.
-God knows, I'm intriguing.
-Michael, do you want to wear those for the rest of your life...?
-
-We're quite a pair, you and I.
-Hello...?
-Michael! Jesus I've been trying -
-Rowan...?
-Listen. Last night - oh Christ, this'1l take forever to explain. God, Michael...
-Michael - I have to go - to New Orleans. I'll - I'll call yati when I -
-Go to LAX and get on a flight to New Orleans. Go to the Ponchartrain Hotel and wait for me. I'll call you there.
-Wait a minute. Rowan - what is going on...?
-You know...?
-She - she said I - I was a ---
-It could've been a tornado - or a - a hurricane. Maybe -
-Michael - I saw him! Twice! Carlotta said I --- killed Graham - with - with my anger.
-Ro - you can't really believe that. Nobody can murder someone with their feelings. I mean --- that's CRAZY.
-C'mon. Let's go to the ho---
-Even if it's all true - that doesn't make you a witch! It's 1992, Rowan!
-Stop looking at me like that! I'm not some siren chanting to the moon. And my life is not a cosmic whim! I am in charge of my life - - and I want to stay. Everything that was taken from me is here, Michael. All these years, she was there without me. Helpless. I should have been here.
-Rowan... Think of what's in that book. Think of last night!
-Do you love me, Michael...?
-Yes. I love you. Very much.
-It'd take mounths... and cost a fortune.
-What about your work back home...?
-I'll bet she had a wonderful smile.
-You sure...?
-Everyone - this is Michael curry.
-Hello..
-I'm wondering why the hell he hasn't shown up.
-He can't hurt us, Michael. It's us - our love. He can't find a crack in it. He can't find a way in.
-Maybe he's just - waiting...
-Ro, how long have we known each other.
-I don't think of us that way - ever.
-Either do I. I love you, Ro. You know that. You're a total mystery to me - but I love YOU.
-You're a ve-ry bad witch, you know that...?
-Smoking is bad for your heart, Michael.
-You're just afraid I'll drop dead before I finish the damn house.
-I took off my gloves today - with Aaron - - and it was okay.
-That's GREAT!
-Aren't we supposed to love somebody for their moral rectitude or their courage or their beneficence -
-Their what...?
-Wanna snack...?
-Hey - you're bleeding.
-You look a little green.
-Mm-hmmm...
-Maybe the shrimp you bad last night.
-Gee - look at that. I didn't know alligators came this far up on shore
-Nobody makes a car like them Nasis...
-Did you see the old man on the ---
-No - I didn't kill him. Would you rather I'd let them kill us - after they'd raped me...?
-No. This is unreal...
-It's not some fairytale in an old book. Michael - look at me. I didn't choose this, Michael. This is who I am. I love you.
-Fall in New Orleans... This whole town is waterlogged! The matches, the wood, my clothes, my skin.
-That's cause we're below sea level.
-ROWAN we're below sea level. I've spent time there myself.
-You did that, didn't you...?
-Remember the first time we made love - and then ---
-Michael - what made you fall in love with me...?
-Your beneficence.
-You alright...?
-Is he - is he gonna die...?
-Michael - why would he want to hurt Stu...?
-If it's a boy --- Taylor.
-A bit much. Lucas.
-Nah - I had a shmuck of an uncle named Lucas. Grayson.
-When aid you get home last night...?
-What were you talking about...?
-Dovetails. Gotta be a hundred years old.
-Something's wrong with you.
-Hi.
-Hi. You - you wanna get some breakfast...? Maybe see a movie...?
-I - I... I can't, Michael. There's stuff --- at the clinic -
-You've gone away from me, Ro... Someplace I don't know how to get to.
-I can't.
-That's not good enough. Why not...?!
-I've never asked you to explain yourself - because you used to let me inside! But I'm on the outside now... you put me there!
-Michael - please - just. a little longer. Don't leave.
-Why bother to ask, Ro...? Why don't you just make me stay,..?
-Stop it!
-How 'bout a backward hex with a three-quarter twist...?
-You could kill me - right now, couldn't you...? couldn't you...?! Tell me the truth --- is it Lasher...? Answer me!!
-Michael - I'm sorry... Just give me -
-Lasher... Where --- where is ---
-sooner Or later you're gonna run out of things to change. You always do.
-Go home, Stu I'll call you.
-Bullshit! Let me in! Mikey - there are people who can help figure this ont.
-On which planet...?
-You can't just -
-Well, Normie - you won't have to worry about this one being finished for a lonnnnng time. How are the hands...?
-'Leave bees be - and the bees be nice.' Didn't your father ever teach you that...?
-Wow...
-You okay...?
-I'm getting --- left behind.
-Left behind...? This about Rowan...?
-A few hours and I'll be wasting away in Margaritaville. Oh, sweet decadance.
-Rowan Mayfair.
-Sut McKinley. Marry me.
-I thought you were almost engaged, Stu...?
-You really love this guy...?
-He's got great hands.
-Hey - I love gloves- I look really great in gloves.
-I thought it was 'whistle while you work.
-Is that a crack about our singing...?
-Mikey - pregnant women get crazy you know that. I mean - hell, they're all crazy anyway - right...?
-We'd better get to work on the papers.
-Papers...?
-Standard for a Mayfair marriage. Rowan - there is a codicil concerning the Mayfair assets. They must be... aahhh... held separate from the other party... Michael that is it's in the will - for centuries. Tradition enjoins, Rowan. of course, future earnings from your practice will not fall into -
-That's new territory for us...but yes, we can look into that. Explore shelter possibilities, funding bodies. we could -
-No tax shelters. No funding. I want to fund the clinic - exclusively. The Diedre Mayfair Research Clinic. I'd like to find an existing building and move in immediately - while we draw up plans for new construction.
-That would mean liquidating sizable amounts of cash.
-Which do you think is her best shot...
-The one on the left - definitely...
-I've got a tenant coming over later - can I take the afternoon off?
-That's not technically accurate - SIMPSONS murders weren't sexually motivated.
-You know that circulation is down for three months in a row.
-I heard something like that
-OH MY GAWD!
-I'm sorry - I didn't think
-I thought you were someone else
-I thought someone was following me - I - er - I just needed my computer and some things...Listen, I'd like to work from home for a few weeks - is that OK?
-Sounds good - thank you
-You see, I am writing this article for CHIC MAGAZINE
-CHIC MAGAZINE?
-When could I look round?
-That's very kind of you MR GRIFFITHS...?
-BRIAN...
-Its cramped in here isn't it BRIAN
-Yes it is...
-Tell me BRIAN, what would happen if the client lost the key?
-Then we would have to call in our locksmith to break the lock
-So there is only one key...
-That's right...
-And it can't be forged?
-Yes, I'm sure you could - but I can't risk you loosing your job
-No -it's no problem - I do it all the time
-All the time?
-No - not all the time - I mean
-Hello MRS STECKLER - we haven't seen you for a long time
-I shouldn't say this - but you really remind me of someone I know
-Oh really - you must remember me from when I was a regular customer.
-I wasn't a manager here then MRS STECKLER - don't you remember?
-This must be one of the old keys -
-It doesn't mention 'females only'
-Oh - Tell me ELLEN, I can call you ELLEN?
-Sure...
-I lost the touch
-Do you take sugar?
-What are you doing?
-I'm sorry?
-What's with all the locks - and hammering
-My names isn't ANGELA...
-Yes - I'm sorry ELLEN...
-If you want any - there's some left in the kitchen
-Sugar?
-So what do you do?
-I'm a dentist
-Oh, about six years since I graduated
-And how many people have you killed?
-I don't know
-You don't know?
-No - the police say I've killed fourteen - but I've not - I've killed many more. It amazes me how they just haven't found the bodies. What is society coming to when people just don't get missed. I agree, some of them are well hidden - I probably couldn't even show you where I put them - one girl, number eight I think
-Where do you kill them...
-Oh anywhere - whenever I needed to - Do you know how easy it is to take them? You just pick up a hiker, or someone off the streets - they believe so easily you know, 'Look, I have something to show you' I would say - and that would be it. One girl, I think her name is Debbie - she had broken
-my car I stopped working from my car. She could have stopped me you know - If she really wanted too. That is the difference between the confusion of humanity and the purity of the beast - If a dog attacked you - you could easily kill it without any damage to yourself - Why then do people get bitten by dogs - savaged?
-I don't know
-Because a dog will attack with a ferocity and force that we poses, but centuries of social contamination has run it out of us - that is what sets us aside from the purity of the beasts...Society is rotting - men who once were strong and kept everything working are getting soft - women are making them soft - by the time a pretty
-Didn't DEBBIE deserve anymore?
-No she didn't...
-What did you do with her?
-The press think that the WHITE ANGEL is a woman - why is that? Do you dress up LESLIE?
-I don't want to talk about it -
-OK, the press call you the WHITE ANGLE because you only kill girls wearing white - why white - white clothes, blonde hair...
-I don't know...
-Is 'their' colour an expression of their inner self? By that I mean, extroverts wear bright colours - so what are people who wear white?
-I don't know...
-Is white an expression of innocence? Do you crave innocence LESLIE?
-Do you feel sorry for the girls you have killed
-How long have you been watching me?
-Tell me about your wife...
-My wife My wife was the only one who really deserved it. LESLIE do this. LESLIE do that. LESLIE it's your fault... She used to tell me what to wear, where to go, what to do - she mothered me...
-then why did you marry her -
-What didn't you like about her?
-You are the first person I have ever told any of this to. We are birds of a feather ELLEN...we're in the same league
-I don't think so...This isn't a game you know...There aren't points or leagues. Sure I killed my husband - but I am no killer.
-You've killed but you're not a killer
-Tell me how it happened...
-Why should I?
-And how did it feel to be rid of him
-My mother...? I never knew my real MOTHER - I was adopted
-You think I killed my MOTHER don't you?
-No...I didn't do it...I wish I had but I didn't. I was beaten to it. STEPHANIE became my mother.
-STEPHANIE?
-My sister - My ADOPTED SISTER -
-Did STEPHANIE kill your MOTHER?
-What was your relationship with STEPHANIE?
-I want it to stop - it all to stop...
-What?
-I know this sounds insane ELLEN, but... Telling you all of this, writing the book... It feels good. Don't get me wrong - I feel like a weight is being lifted from my shoulders... When I tell you what I have done - I can't believe it is me...Yet I know it was. This is like a purging for me...
-Psychiatrists would say that you are confronting your demons
-What's wrong?
-What's wrong?
-What is it?
-Yes...
-You want me to wear white for you? You must be madder than I thought...
-But ELLEN, I told you I have stopped...
-Where are you going?
-We've got nothing to talk about
-I thought we had a relationship built on trust - and you just slap me in the face...
-LESLIE? Is that good enough?
-ELLEN, would you like a cup - there's plenty in the pot
-First finish your tea...
-Why did you let him in?
-I don't like sugar
-There isn't that much - you didn't even taste it - What's wrong - don't you like my tea?
-It's not that - I just don't want any sugar
-I haven't been using it recently LESLIE
-whats wrong...what have I done wrong?
-Nothing LESLIE - I just think we should wait...
-I don't want either of us to come to any harm - please...
-I loved you ELLEN - why did you do this?
-Don't you want me now LESLIE
-I'm sorry, I couldn't - when is she due?
-Well, what do you think?
-I don't know - it's your house ELLEN
-Yes - but you live here too - If it were your house?
-What's wrong with you?
-I would prefer it if you kept away from LESLIE
-What?
-You don't own him you know - you can't tell me not to see him!
-I want you out now
-Leave!? Who the hell do you think you are?
-What happened?
-I had an accident - I fell down stairs...
-Is LESLIE here?
-No he had to - he's just - he's out...
-It's been what, three years?
-What's this all about?
-What brings the rats out of the sewers?
-I'm here about the so called disappearance of your husband - It's best if we let old bones lie. Know what I mean? I'm working on the WHITE ANGEL case now - and I've got to check all known murderers or suspected murderers for the last five years... And that means you...So where were you last THURSDAY afternoon around five...
-It did give me a chance to meet you again ELLEN - It's all routine you understand...So where were you?
-At home alone - where were you?
-As it happens, I was at home alone - maybe we could solve each others problems?
-I'd watch her mate - she has thing for men - they disappear near her.
-I'm really very sorry - I was banking on this coming through, because it's only five minutes from my surgery...
-Surgery? Are you a doctor?
-Just put it in my room
-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout...
-You're a novelist - why didn't you tell me?
-Her husband left her
-I thought it was you - how are you?
-I'm good - I was just making a delivery near here, so I thought I would see if you were about...
-That's good
-I'd really like it if you would come round some time - Then I could cook you a meal - what do you say...
-Good - I've got to dash - Say that I said hello to ELLEN for me would you...
-Dr STECKLER?
-Yes...?
-Dead?
-Or was it, she wished he was dead - that's it - I believe he left the country with another woman - all rather sordid.
-So she didn't mention anything more about it?
-No - she isn't in any trouble is she?
-Oh no sir - just making some enquiries...Just tell her that INSPECTOR TAYLOR called on you - she'll understand
-I shouldn't really - I'm not your surgeon...
-Sugar?
-ANGEL...
-Come on, bro. Spare yourself the humiliation, the degradation...
-You and your pep talks.
-Don't get me wrong. We can salivate over all the Christy Malones of our lives. Wishing we could devour them like melt-in-your-mouth filet mignon. But we're strictly hamburger guys. Ground chuck, sixty eight percent lean, is about the best we can hope for.
-I genuinely think she wants me. I feel a vibe.
-See? Did you see that?
-The only chick more untouchable than Christy Malone is Miss April. "Hi, my name's Ginger. I love tofu burgers, rainy nights, and riding bareback. My biggest turn-off is cell phones during sex." Here's a tip: set it on VIBRATE, honey, and don't be stingy with the lube. Don't knock it till you tried it.
-Were you always this sick?
-Someday, I'll find out.
-I defy your hamburger theory of life, and all of the unfulfilled hopes and dreams it represents.
-That's crazy talk.
-Don't do it, Ted. Don't do it.
-Think about it...Long tunnel, bright lights, it's full of vaginal symbolism.
-Poor Freud, turning in his grave.
-Seriously, it's like we're being reborn. We really could reinvent ourselves here, just like you said. Nobody knows about your massive humiliation.
-Nobody knows about your mental retardation.
-Nobody knows you barfed during junior high school graduation.
-Nobody knows about your constant masturbation.
-What are the odds of there being ANOTHER Ted Nelson on our flight?
-Who the hell was your father?
-...A bouncer? Are you serious?
-This is the life, baby. We get ourselves some tail and we're talking SPRING BREAK!
-Cut it out, before you break something!
-Don't you know anything about limo etiquette? Everything in here is included for our pleasure.
-Wait a second, I thought we were hamburger guys.
-I can't believe that's your mother. We're talking babe-a-licious chub fest, right here in the 501's.
-This is like my every wet dream come true. I don't even care that you're here, too, bro.
-I wonder how many of them will be at the orgy tonight?
-This isn't some 80's porno film, you dip shit. There are no wild sex orgies.
-Oh. Well. Maybe not yet.
-You kiss your mother with that mouth?
-So far away? In Xenia?
-Check this out. Hurry!
-Hurry.
-What is it now?
-Don't tell me. Another vision of incomparable beauty?
-I get it now. You and me. We're dead.
-Dead?
-Our plane crashed. In the Grand Canyon. A big fiery explosion. We never made it to L.A. They needed dental records to identify us. And this place. This. Actually. Is. Heaven.
-Then there must be a whole room, made completely of chocolate.
-Don't be such a pansy. All of this is YOURS.
-It's a lot to digest. Imagine how you'd feel.
-I feel like I'm entering a forbidden tomb...
-Oh, how inappropriate is that!
-Take a whiff of heaven.
-How would you like it if I did that to your mother's panties?
-I'd call you a sick, twisted fuck. But this is different. She wasn't your mother mother--
-A couple of boys fighting over a pair of red silk panties is nothing compared to what he's seen.
-You're late, bro!
-Sorry. Ginger got a little, you know, enthusiastic.
-You'll never believe who's in there.
-I feel like I've just been hit by a Mack truck.
-I thought I loved her.
-Hell yes, all hundred and seventeen of 'em!
-No, leave one. Somebody's grandmother might want one.
-And while you're at it, I'll take ten dozen of those puppies with the springy heads.
-Get them together.
-Holy stinkers, what were you thinking?
-We wanted to challenge the notions of classic beauty. We wanted to showcase women throughout the world.
-You got everything you ever wanted.
-Naked girls, wild sex, video games. No wonder it's called "Heaven."
-Never say never.
-Every one of these women thinks she should be the next Angel of the Month. It's your job, Ted, to decide which of them is right.
-Let me get this straight...
-If it isn't straight by now, son, you probably should see a doctor.
-These are real, live women?
-We don't generally feature blow-up dolls in our magazine. But hey, if you think there's a market for it.
-What gives, Don Corleone?
-We reinvented ourselves.
-New Hushpuppies don't make a new man.
-You've obviously never had your dogs nestled in thousand dollar Italian loafers.
-That explains the emptiness that haunts me.
-Not bad for a hack. He has a future in yellow journalism.
-Wouldn't it be awesome if we were about to say the exact same thing?
-From your lips, to God's ears.
-You go first.
-Ladies first. I insist.
-Well. The prom's coming up.
-Yeah?
-And I was wondering.
-Yeah?
-Teddy? Would you please please please take me to the prom?
-Ted, have you lost your mind?
-You like me. I like you. I guess it's pretty obvious to everyone.
-I don't LIKE you. We're JUST FRIENDS.
-But that smile.
-Oh, Ted, DUH. I smile at everyone since I got my braces off.
-You really don't get it, do you? I am genetically programmed to desire a big, buff, manly man who can defend and provide for me and my yet to be conceived offspring! It's, like, a caveman thing!
-So that's a maybe?
-Great jacket, Teddy Bear.
-Yeah? You like?
-Hi, Teddy Bear.
-Christy? You want to be in "Heaven?"
-I thought I'd be nervous, but you sure know how to make a girl feel relaxed, Teddy Bear.
-I do? I mean, yeah, I do.
-I have to admit, I am so totally turned on. We should do it. Now.
-Do it?
-I remember the first time you walked into Mrs. Temple's class in 2nd grade. Blue gingham dress. Blond ponytail.
-Which you pulled, hard!
-Remember dress up day? You and Charlie lifting skirts during recess.
-I miss those days, when schoolyard sexual harassment was without consequence.
-Well?
-You have changed since second grade.
-I mean, what do you think?
-You expect me to think at a time like this? There isn't a drop of blood in my brain.
-I was always too shy to admit how much I liked you.
-Come on, I was hamburger. You were porterhouse.
-God, you are so hot.
-We have a truckload of strawberries arriving on Tuesday morning.
-We can't accept it. It's much too expensive. Right, dear?
-Sweetheart, what is it?
-I always wanted Craftsman tools. He even got me the limited edition Buckeye colors.
-Ted, we put a lot of love in our business.
-We wanted you and Jimmy to have it someday. Something real and honest.
-You have to understand. This was a big shock, for all of us. One minute you're our little boy, of whom we could not be more proud. The next minute you're the owner of this whole pornographic empire.
-But that doesn't make you the boss of everything, son.
-We're not ashamed of you, Teddy. We don't approve of the magazine or the models or the so-called "flesh parties" you attend. But we can get past all that.
-We miss you. We miss our son.
-We think you should give up the magazine. Sell it. Let someone else run it. Whatever it takes.
-We understand your disappointment, Teddy. Christy is a pretty, sexy, provocative, voluptuous... We...uh...we understand your disappointment.
-I remember spring break of my senior year. Seems like a lifetime ago.
-Dad, please.
-Grandpa was so strong back then. Working from the crack of dawn. So proud of his peaches.
-Remember how you struggled through that whole facts of life talk and then found out I knew more than you?
-You're way ahead of me again?
-It was the year of the rhizopus rot. Grandpa almost lost the farm. You sacrificed your dream to go to the prize hog festival. And in the end you saved the peaches and you didn't have to slaughter your sow.
-The lesson being?
-Sometimes you have to do stuff you don't want to do. It's all part of growing up. And it usually works out peachy in the end.
-You guys are my parents.
-Of course we are.
-Son.
-Well, why should I?
-They had a rough life. Your father was a bouncer. Your mother was, well, a two-bit stripper. There was no place for a baby.
-I guess.
-They did do one great thing. They gave us our boy.
-Yeah.
-Be a sport. How bad could spring break in Los Angeles be?
-I guess we could go to Disneyland or something.
-Think of it as a rite of passage to manhood.
-Like one of those "National Geographic" specials with the topless chicks?
-Whatever helps you cope.
-I guess it's better than having tribal patterns carved in my face.
-There ya go. Always remember, focus on the peach...
-Ted, it's your dad. I have a question for you. I don't know how to put it tactfully. You know I'm lousy with words.
-Just say it, Dad.
-I know they were simple people, but did this trip help your college fund at all?
-Dad, let's just say I can buy anything I want in the whole bookstore. Including the bookstore.
-Finally, some gratitude.
-But those are our dreams, son. We have to make them come true.
-Sorry I--
-It's okay. You need me?
-I paid off the mortgage! I ordered that Winnebago you always wanted! Now you're ashamed of me?
-THAT is your dream, not mine. My dream is so far beyond anything YOU PEOPLE could even imagine.
-Watch your tone, mister.
-Shut your pie hole, Jimmy.
-I-I don't have the keys.
-You do know how to drive?
-I don't have much experience with a...uh...stick.
-Now release the brake. And slide the stick into first gear.
-The first time can be awkward. You just have to get on and try again.
-I don't even know if I should be doing this. It's a very expensive car.
-It's your car. These are all your cars.
-Some of them have to be automatics.
-I'm Ted, by the way. I think I forgot to say that.
-I know. I'm Ginger. Miss April.
-The one with the horses.
-That's me.
-Hey, Ted. Wanna go shopping?
-Shopping, really? I should tell my friend.
-Don't worry. He found the chocolate room.
-Who exactly ARE you?
-What do you mean? I'm Ted Nelson.
-Or do you have a taste for the good life, Ted? It's in your blood.
-I always knew there was more. I felt it.
-Teddy? I was thinking.
-Hmmm?
-After graduation...maybe we could go away together?
-Teddy, I thought we were having a moment here.
-Ted! Do something!
-What do you want me to do?
-This is humiliating. We're being ejected from a prom!
-Well?
-Oh, sweetheart! We wish we could be right there to hug the living daylights out of you!
-But if you're watching this, then it means we bit the dust.
-But don't worry...we'll be in heaven. The REAL heaven, I mean. Not that heaven is an actual place, but more like a state of being. Or not being. Who knows. Maybe we know now.
-But we did want you. It's just that you don't always get to keep what you want. We knew you needed a real mom and dad.
-Can you believe that was me?
-Before we knew it, we created the most popular men's magazine in the entire nation. The rest is history.
-So here we are. Dead. But we never want you to want for anything. That is, we want you to have everything.
-You're on the next plane home.
-No problem, consider it done. I had this idea of shooting on location. Outdoors, you know? Maybe at some famous Xenia landmarks. You think that would be a problem?
-It's a little more serious than that, Bill. The stockholders have requested a meeting. They want our guarantee that this will never happen again. Some of them are even calling for Ted's resignation.
-Your parents never wanted to interfere with your life, Ted. They knew your Mom and Dad loved you very much. They knew they did the right thing. But that doesn't mean they didn't watch you and miss you, from afar.
-You mean they knew who I was?
-I wondered about them, for so many years. I wondered if I looked like them, acted like them. I wondered why they gave me up.
-Giving you up was the most unselfish thing they ever did. When they founded "Heaven," they wished they could take you back but it was too late. All they could do was build the empire, knowing that someday it would all be yours.
-My legacy.
-Your parents would be crushed to think you weren't happy with it.
-They're not my parents, Helen. My parents are back in Xenia and I hurt them very much.
-I understand.
-And the girl I love, she hates "Heaven." If I keep it, she'll never respect me.
-How are the hometown folks treating you, back in Xenia?
-Well, Jay. They've been exceptionally supportive.
-I'm no stranger to the notion of philanthropy. Andrew Carnegie has long been one of my idols.
-Matter of fact, Jay, my uncle and I are planning to rethink the magazine. To expand the traditional western notions of "beauty."
-I see, so you'd be open to little ladies from Pasadena, who want to show you their knickers?
-Mom, Dad. Meatloaf has come to represent all that Ted hates about his mediocre life and the world we live in. He's what you'd call clinically bummed.
-James, what are you doing here?
-You can call me Jimmy again. Sheryl Petersen said James sounds too pretentious.
-Sheryl Petersen is, what, nine years old, what does she know?
-She knew exactly where you were staying, which you neglected to tell me, your own brother.
-Impressive. This is bigger than our whole house.
-Most places are, Jimmy.
-They say money can't buy happiness but this is a reasonably good facsimile.
-So, what brings you here at his hour?
-My new bike.
-Very funny.
-I came to ask permission to take custody of your room.
-My room?
-Better view, more spacious, new carpet. It's a no-brainer.
-It's not up to me.
-Mom and Dad said it's yours. They seem to think you're coming home.
-If you could just sign right there.
-You want it in writing?
-That's it? I mean, you don't want to order room service or anything? We could play games and watch movies and stuff.
-Are you kidding? Mom and Dad discover I'm gone and I'll be doing hard time.
-Are they okay?
-Aside from the fact that Mom's eyes are nearly swollen shut from crying and Dad spends all his time under the car trying to fix stuff that isn't broken, things couldn't be better.
-I miss them, too.
-You can't come back. That is, you can, but your things will be in the room you currently think of as mine.
-You're a peach.
-He was my Grandfather, too.
-I meant biologically.
-That's a crappy thing to say.
-But just for the record, my Mom is a kick-ass schoolteacher and my Dad is the best damn auto mechanic this side of the Himalayas. You seem to have forgotten they opened Nelson's FAMILY Market so they could build something permanent, a legacy, for us. Their kids.
-I didn't forget.
-Great.
-So, William Randolph. Your last big scoop contrasted the popularity of Rice Crispie Treats and chocolate Snickerdoodles at the annual bake sale.
-That's just one example. My reporting has made a difference.
-Let me guess: retail sales of little chocolate sprinkles have gone through the roof!
-Is it true? Is ignorance bliss?
-Don't even tell me you're hot for Miss Titty Pom Poms over there.
-Christy's a very talented journalist. I see a Pulitzer in her future.
-I didn't know they gave them for Best Lip Gloss Retention During a Blow Job.
-Me-ow.
-Go ahead. Ask her to the prom. Get it over with.
-I have absolutely no intention--
-I tried to warn you, William Randolph. She's got stiletto heels hidden in those Keds.
-But you triple-dog-dared me.
-A few billion bucks and suddenly he's Cro-Magnon Man of the Year.
-What is it, William Randolph? Your balls need scratching?
-Your article sucked.
-In what sense?
-In the sense that there is no "hidden agenda" behind a bake sale that raised five hundred dollars for seeing eye dogs.
-Ah ha! It was so well hidden, you didn't even know it was there.
-Come on, Julie. Don't screw up. You have some real talent.
-Just because someone died and made you king of the publishing world doesn't mean you're even one ounce smarter than you were a week ago.
-I'm trying to help.
-I'm still better than you. Nothing changed except the decimal point in your savings account.
-What do you want from me? I'm trying to be fair. But I can't keep you on staff if you turn every PTA meeting into an Agent Orange cover up.
-Then I'll write about YOU.
-Me?
-"Local boy inherits more money than god." Call me crazy, but I smell human interest.
-I have to admit, I always felt... different.
-Different how? Different like a dwarf at a basketball game? Or different like a lesbian in pumps?
-I don't get the distinction.
-Could everybody else tell you were different, or were you the only one who knew?
-I felt limited. I felt confined. I felt like I was suffocating.
-I see. So more like a tight rope walker who secretly wants to be a trapeze artist.
-I guess.
-She said peanuts, you cretin.
-Don't write that part.
-Is this an gritty exposé or a candy ass press release?
-Write what you want. Just try not to make it so obvious that you're crazy about me.
-Life must be peachy on Planet Ted.
-Funny you should say "peachy."
-I did my homework. Your grandfather was a peach farmer.
-My adoptive grandfather. Who knows what my biological grandfather did.
-Considering this is your first time on a private jet, on which you are interviewing the world's most eligible bachelor, you are extremely cavalier.
-I bet there are lots and lots of mirrors on Planet Ted.
-See? You're impertinent, rude, sarcastic.
-And this is not my first time on a private jet, so quit acting like I'm Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.
-Well? What do you think of her?
-You're so twitterpated you don't even see the miner's hat and the pickax.
-Charlie's right. Jealousy is so unattractive.
-Second only to unbridled, narcissistic conceit.
-Why can't you be nice to me?
-Wow...you clean up nice.
-Where are we going?
-I can't believe your dad built this for you.
-He didn't. He had it built.
-Whatever.
-Not "whatever." It's two different things.
-He cared enough to want you to have it.
-He phoned it in.
-I see.
-I doubt it.
-Now it makes sense, the whole neo Bohemian, down with hypocrisy, fight the power crap. You're a poor little rich girl.
-The ozone must be fully depleted on Planet Ted.
-You think my dad would have been like that if I knew him? You think he would have bought me a stadium, instead of teaching me how to play ball?
-Your dad taught you everything.
-I mean my father.
-A father is nothing but sperm, Ted. It takes a real man to be a dad.
-It's all so complicated.
-It's incredibly simple.
-I feel like I'm being drawn and quartered. Like every part of me is being pushed and pulled and tugged in a different direction.
-Eventually you'll let go.
-And then what?
-Then you'll see who's really holding on to you.
-You're amazing.
-I know.
-Even when you infuriate me, I still want to kiss you.
-But you never do.
-Cut to the chase, William Randolph. Your audience is way ahead of you.
-In a word: MERK. EXPOSED.
-That's two words. And I'm out of the "exposed" business, remember? I need to graduate. Besides, Merk's a boy scout.
-There's gotta be something. We have to dig deeper.
-You forget, I dislike YOU at least as much as him.
-A good journalist can take lemons and make lemonade. I'm honing my craft.
-That's probably my office.
-Well? Where the hell are you?
-He's on the move?
-I got an anonymous tip and an address in Cincinnati.
-I don't know. This place seems pretty tame.
-You expected whips, chains, Merk being cattle-prodded by some dominatrix in a leather hood?
-At least it's not another 4-H meeting or a Big Brother barbecue.
-Look at us. It's one o'clock in the morning, on a school night. We're in a smoky nightclub, hoping to catch our principal with some big city tart.
-I'm trembling with excitement.
-That has more to do with your proximity to me.
-My desire betrays me, like goosebumps on my flesh.
-I have a bit of a goosebump fetish. Not many people know that.
-I figured you for more of a hairy armpit guy.
-Shoes, if you want to know the truth. Shoes are my thing.
-Wearing them? Or humping them?
-My fantasy is a totally naked woman, wearing nothing but a Timex and suede clogs.
-That's refreshingly deviant.
-What about you?
-I'm very aural.
-Tell me more.
-Sounds, voices, music, humming. All of it can turn me on, or off, like a switch.
-I see.
-I had a Portuguese boyfriend who could read the phone book and melt me.
-A Portuguese boyfriend. Sounds very "Cosmo."
-You live and learn. I realized the most important thing to me, above all, is trust.
-Turned out to be a scoundrel, eh? I saw that one coming.
-Do you trust me, Julie?
-Not a chance.
-Come on.
-I want you to trust me.
-Maybe someday.
-Julie, I'll tell you something that is the god's honest truth. I've seen a lot of really beautiful girls. I mean a lot. But none of them make me feel like you do.
-That's hard to believe.
-I have to be honest with you, Ted. I really despise "The Girls of Xenia."
-I know, their small town mentality can be maddening.
-I mean your pictorial. It bothers me, profoundly.
-You're telling me you don't get aroused by a roomful of naked breasts.
-You've seen one naked breast, you've seem them all.
-Which explains the continued success of "Heaven" for how many decades?
-You're quick. I like that.
-You think you're working with chimps here?
-The thing is, I made a commitment. I said I'd do it and I have to keep my word.
-Julie, wow. I was afraid you left. I was afraid I'd never see you again.
-I'm not going anywhere, Ted. You're the one with the champagne wishes and caviar dreams.
-And I thought maybe I'd take up boating. I've always wanted to be a "coxswain."
-Very ambitious. I like that.
-The thing is, I'll need a first mate.
-Planet Ted. Five years from now. What's happening?
-I know where you can find an excellent editor-in-chief.
-Yellow pages?
-They're playing our song. Dare I ask for this dance?
-What is this? Does everybody know everything I'm about to say or do every freakin' minute of the day?
-No cursing in this house, young man. Use the strong vocabulary God gave you.
-That's part of growing up, honey.
-What about Charlie? You boys could make it a little adventure.
-I'm all right, Mom. I'm not in Siberia, you know.
-Did you have a nice flight? Are they taking good care of you?
-Yeah, I'm doing fine. I have so much to tell you. I don't even know where to begin.
-Save it, honey. We want to hear every detail when you get back, but we don't want you to run up Mr. Zukerman's phone bill.
-Well? Surprised?
-What is all this? When are you coming home?
-Just a few tokens of my affection. I'll be back soon, don't worry.
-Everything is lovely, Ted, but much too expensive.
-Oh, good lord. Are those Neptunes?
-Only the best for my mother.
-You promise you'll finish school?
-You don't have to work another day in your lives.
-Don't you get it? In one day I earn more interest than the store's entire annual revenue.
-Oh. Goodness.
-You're free. You can do anything you ever wanted to do!
-Like what?
-But who would run the store?
-Everything I am is because of you. Can you ever forgive me?
-I need your help. I'm really in deep shit.
-I like you, Ted. You know that. I liked you before you were filthy rich.
-Thanks, Principal Merkin.
-I'll be blunt. I know you can take it.
-Yes, sir. I'll brace myself.
-Ted, you are the best editor this school paper ever had. You don't need to be pandering flesh. It's nonsense. It's beneath you.
-You think I ought to just tell them thanks but no thanks? I don't want your silly billion dollar empire?
-That's a good start, yes. A very good start.
-Are you kidding? This magazine is my dream. It's every red-blooded, heterosexual male's dream.
-I never figured you for a pimp.
-Have you ever even looked at "Heaven?"
-What kind of sick question is that? I'll be watching you, young man. Your money and power mean nothing here. Nothing.
-With all due respect to Merk, he doesn't have to read my magazine. But he has no right to stop others. Ever hear of the First Amendment?
-We cannot afford free speech if it excises the moral fiber of this community!
-Honestly, Merk. It's like you were never seventeen and the head of a media empire.
-Rules are rules.
-Come on, it's our only senior prom.
-You're crossing the line, Mr. Nelson.
-A statue in front of city hall, dedicated to Principal Dick Merkin?
-I'm warning you.
-You kicked us off your turf, Merk. Don't rain on our parade.
-Mr. Nelson, you disappoint me. First you break our school board rules. Then you break the law.
-What law, Merk? Having fun? Letting down our hair on prom night?
-Our state has a zero tolerance policy for underage drinking.
-You called the cops on us?
-Smashing! Welcome to the family, Ted. You are going to breathe some new life into this place. You are going to set the world on fire! You are going to...call me Uncle Billy? Please?
-Uh, sure. Uncle Billy.
-You do like girls, don't you?
-Of course I like girls.
-A lot? I mean, a whole lot?
-As much as possible.
-The parties are held in here when the weather dips below seventy. Which is seldom.
-Ah, in other words, this is the apres-orgy salon?
-Maybe she needs help, Ted. You should be a gentleman.
-We don't allow TIPN, Ted.
-There you are, Ted-baby. Everything all right?
-You ready for your big coming out party? Everybody's dying to meet you.
-Just a couple of finishing touches. My parents always said you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
-Truth is, I'm a little nervous.
-YOU? Nervous? Why on earth should you be nervous?
-All those people out there. It's a lot of pressure.
-Huh! You laugh in the face of pressure!
-I do?
-You're the Sultan of Semen. The Monarch of Masturbation. The Merchant Prince of Lust. You. Ted. Are the King of Coitus.
-Me? The King of Coitus?
-The Supreme Sovereign of Sexuality.
-Whoa. But...that's the thing... I've never even actually...
-I told you you could do it.
-I was like a different person tonight.
-You were the new and improved you.
-I would have been laughed right out of Xenia.
-No one will be laughing at you now, Ted. You can take that to the bank.
-It's really going to be strange going home in a couple of days.
-You ARE home. But go ahead, finish school, do what you feel you need to do. In the meantime, I'll be your point person here on the magazine.
-Really? You'd do that for me?
-I've been very lazy for a long, long time.
-You seem like you're anything but lazy, Uncle Billy.
-I never finished school myself. Never had to. My brother built this empire from nothing but his wife's perky tits and a whole lot of gumption. He gave me a cushy job on a silver platter. I never struggled for a second.
-My parents always say hard work builds character.
-It's not like I didn't have ideas, I had plenty of ideas. But I never even shared them with your father. Never had the guts.
-What kind of ideas?
-Well...for one thing...I think it's despicable that we exclude so many women that only fit our western notion of "classic beauty."
-You think we should be more open minded?
-The world is a big, beautiful place. We can open new markets in Africa and Asia. Imagine the Dali Lhama reading our magazine.
-In other words, our scope is too narrow.
-At our press conference tomorrow, I think we should announce our plans to explore the world. Not just a few leggy 36D's, with blond hair upstairs and down.
-Don't forget to tell them all your qualifications.
-So far, so good. Some of them have real Angel potential.
-My father must've been amazing.
-I never saw anybody turn so many shades of red.
-I can't wait to see the pictures.
-Such enthusiasm. Have I told you lately how proud I am of you?
-Seriously? I'm doing all right?
-I owe it all to you. Without your help I'd be lost.
-I wish I knew you years ago, when my brother was alive. I wish he never gave you up.
-I'd love to, but I really need to crack the books. Final exams are coming up and I've been slacking.
-You're right. I should work, too. Our first issue together is almost ready to print.
-Thanks, Uncle Billy. Thanks for everything.
-Yes?
-I loved my brother. I stood by his wishes to let his son run the company. A son he never knew. A son that he and his wife gave away at birth. A son who was raised in a world quite different from our own. Nevertheless, I was there for the lad. I guided him as best I could. But he's only seventeen, with
-What are you doing?
-Thanks for teaching me an important lesson. What makes a family is love, not blood.
-All is fair in "Heaven," Ted-baby.
-That's right. And guess who's the new King of the Unemployment Line.
-In a hurry, are we?
-I was in the middle of a melodramatic exit. It wouldn't really make a statement if I tiptoed out the door...What are you selling?
-Bad news.
-People pay good money for that?
-Oh no. No way. I've had all the bad news I can take for one day.
-My parents? What do you mean?
-I'm terrible at this. I blurt. I'm a blurter. Your parents...They ...well...they exist no further. Skinny-dipping. The Amazon. Piranhas. It wasn't pretty.
-You've got the wrong guy. The closest my parents have been to the Amazon is the Brazilian pavilion at Epcot.
-How quaint.
-Are you familiar with "Heaven?"
-I'm seventeen. I know it like the back of my hand.
-So, did you set 'em all straight on the ugly facts of life?
-Talk to me Artie.
-Kelly Van Ryan...
-... is accusing me of rape. Jimmy told me. Apparently I'm the last to know...
-Sam... I... Sandra Van Ryan's been on the horn with every member of the school board all day long. She's pushing for suspension...
-All I can tell you Sam, is hang in there. They clear you of this mess, you get reinstated, with back pay...
-That's great. I'll just tell my creditors I'm not a rapist. No problem... Shit. I can't believe the board's going to act without even hearing my side of it.
-How you doing, Artie?
-Not that I'm going to be much good after last night...
-Is that Sandra Van Ryan's kid?
-Kelly.
-She's going to wash your Jeep?
-You look pretty.
-Hey, I've got it, I may as well spend it, right? I've always wanted to live where I could dive for my dinner.
-And where might that be?
-I was thinking, Antigua, maybe.
-I love Antigua. Maybe I'll come visit you.
-How soon can we get something?
-Merritt, Forensics.
-The teeth doin' any talkin'?
-Ray. Stop calling. I told you the dental records will take time...
-What about the blood?
-Could be hers. Types match. Could be a lot of other people's too...
-Gator can't see what's in front of it for shit. They see out the sides. That one don't even know Walter's arm's in his mouth.
-What if something distracts it and it snaps anyway?
-You come all the way out here to watch Walter?
-I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.
-About Suzie?
-Actually, I was wondering if I might ask you about Ray Duquette.
-Got sort of hung up on her, from what hear.
-She still work there?
-No. Not after that night. I don't know what happened. Maybe he caught her with some john... All I know is, the next morning the girl was gone and there was a dead boy... Indian kid named Davy. Used to live down the road there in a wrecked car. Him and Suzie were at the Glades that night. It was right after that, Ray
-Wasn't enough Van Ryan had to destroy the people who invested here. He got to be old, he and his rich cronies would come down here, hunt and whore, act like assholes. One trip he showed up with this young girl he'd picked up somewhere, gotten her pregnant then dumped her in the swamp. That came with her.
-And the child...
-She had it, before she drank herself to death. Wasn't exactly a love child...
-Suzie. Then you're not her grandmother...
-So Suzie and Sandra Van Ryan were half- sisters.
-You okay?
-How are you, Kelly? Would you like to take a break for a minute?
-I just want to get it over with. My mom's making me do this. I just want to forget it.
-The next thing... his hand was in my shorts... you know, from behind. His fingers... his fingers...
-Take your time.
-They were in me. Both places... you know.
-I understand.
-He said something like, "Do you want it dirty7" or something. I tried to turn away, but he pushed me to the floor.
-Was there penetration? Did he put himself inside you?
-Yes. I said stop. I screamed. I mean that's how it sounded in my head. He hurt me...
-That's okay, Kelly. You're doing fine. But I have to ask you something here. When you say it hurt. Was this the first time a man was inside you?
-No. I've done it a couple of times, I mean with guys I dated. But this hurt... like, he was built... you know...
-Did you try to fight him?
-I... he had my wrists pinned behind me. I remember my hands were cold.'
-Then what?
-He kept saying, "Let it happen, let it happen." Then he just stopped.
-You mean he withdrew...
-Not at first. He was still inside but he wasn't moving or anything... He said we had this secret. And that now he'd be able to help me... because we were close... Something like that. I don't know. It's hard to remember, exactly.
-Try, Kelly.
-If old pictures interest you, come back some time, there's quite a collection down in the pagoda. I'll see you get a proper tour.
-And when you turned her toward the door, where did you expect her to go, without a car?
-Did you call anyone? Did you call her house to see if she got home? Did you call the Masons?
-No.
-Weren't you a little worried about her...?
-Isn't that against the law, peeking into windows?
-How long?
-She didn't cone home last night. We found her car at the bus terminal, but nothing to suggest she bought a ticket.
-Maybe she used another name.
-I don't know what to say...
-Kelly's file. Read it. You're going to find an angry, sexually confused girl who's made threats on her mother's life and a female lover she'd never identify.
-I've got that two o'clock in town.
-That would make it about the time of her old man's suicide. You don't think that could explain some erratic behavior?
-It's our job, Gloria.
-Same as him. They saw her come. They saw her go. They saw him follow.
-We failed to mention the mower guy's a drunk, that he was after more beer and never really saw Kelly go into the house, so he can't say how long she was in there. Same with the kids. They saw her running down the street, but that's it. With no physical evidence, what do we have? Her word against his.
-You're telling me you believe the guy?
-You can go up to one of those trees and peel the bark. You know what you get? More bark. And more bark. There's no core. Tree's not good tar anything but sucking up water. And now they can't get rid of them. They've tried poisons. Nothing works. They don't die.
-You remember that little girl walked out of our talk at Blue Bay?
-The skinny brunette.
-This is where she lives. She wants to talk. Beats the shit out of me why she would call me at all. I busted her once for possession. she wound up doing about six months at Camp Nine.
-That's what they called it when I was in Juvenile. It's a pretty dismal place.
-You saw the news today?
-Think back, before the suit was filed, before the trial. Lombardo had an affair with Sandra, right? So why not tell us about the affair? I mean it could be a hell of a motive for Kelly to fabricate her charge in the first place.
-Maybe Lombardo's attorney was saving the affair for the trial.
-I thought of that. Then I said, come on, you're Lombardo. Your reputation is getting trashed. You want to stop the bleeding. You don't want to sit in jail for three months. Unless...
-Unless what?
-They chumped us, Gloria, right from the start.
-Why? You ask me, Lombardo had it pretty good already, nice job in a beautiful setting, popular, an active social life. He's gonna put this all on the line for some dicey play like what you're describing...
-So what about the girls? Suzie's poor, but why would Kelly have to steal from her own mother? Surely her father...
-This one's got you working overtime, hasn't it?
-I flat don't like the guy, Glory. He's dirty. And I'll tell you something else. You want to know how old man Lombardo lost his money? He was fucked out of it by old man Van Ryan, on a little item known as the Salt Creek Land Deal. It was after the war. Van Ryan set up a corporation to develop swamp land, got
-Eliminate the competition.
-Where'd you come up with this stuff, anyway?
-Which she might have saved, if she hadn't set out to destroy the man's life.
-Guess I kind of lost it there.
-You could say that.
-We all have...
-It's starting, Gloria. This is how it begins...
-I'm gonna take you back to the office. Will you put out a call on Suzie's car for me?
-If you want company...
-Two kids could've gotten into a fight, lost a couple of teeth.
-Those are Suzie Toller's teeth.
-Where's the body?
-Her grandmother said she'd been threatening to run away. And I found the car at the Miami bus terminal.
-Poor dumb Suzie, she never had a chance.
-Will you do me one favor?
-Ray, you heard him...
-Stick with me on this Gloria. I need you...
-And if the teeth aren't Suzie's? You'll give this up?
-I'm tired, Ray. I'm going home.
-Where's Lombardo?
-He's leaving the country. And I don't give a shit.
-The blood type on the rocks matches Suzie's.
-That bothers you?
-Yeah, maybe, a little.
-You didn't tell me you were gonna put me on the fucking news.
-About a year ago.
-He dropped Jimmy off first?
-Yeah.
-And when he arrived at your house, was anyone there?
-No.
-So you were alone.
-Yes.
-Did he come in with you?
-At that point were you able to fight him off?
-He did say something.
-What was that?
-Why?
-That doesn't make him a child rapist. There's something else. This girl's had some problems. Wrecked a couple of her mom's cars. Ran away...
-Where's this coming from?
-I want a full-scale investigation.
-You know what that will mean for Lombardo.
-Or maybe she thought that was what she wanted and she got a little more than she bargained for...
-Not that stuff about her running away, him trying to find her. That's bullshit.
-What about witnesses?
-We've got three. Guy mowing his yard, couple of kids playing hoops.
-Are you crazy, Ray?
-You heard Kelly say "Sam." That was Lombardo on the phone. And you saw the girls...
-Ray. The conversation on this tape is totally unintelligible. What we have here, is you on the Van Ryan property, without a proper warrant, shooting a porn flick...
-Oh, Ray... no...
-Kelly's next, Gloria.
-I fucked up. I lost control of the situation, the one thing they train you for... God, what did I do?
-Just tell us what happened.
-She bit you?
-I told her I was coming with her. She nodded, like she understood. We stood up together.
-You didn't cuff her?
-The teeth, were they...
-You guess? Did he or didn't he?
-Yeah... okay... he did
-And then what... he touched you? Did you maybe flirt a little...
-What did you do then?
-Shit, what difference does it make... Nobody's gonna believe me anyway...
-Suzie! Did this man rape you?
-He pushed into me... I couldn't stop him... it hurt.
-I'm sorry... you said it hurt? Why?
-Ms. Toller?
-I said he did.
-This wasn't my idea.
-He was my friend at first. Then I got busted... he didn't even stick up for me. I had to go away to that hellhole. It's like, you're his favorite, then who cares? You wanna know something? When Kelly said we should do this, I thought cool, all these big shots screwing me over, like that cop, Duquette. Now they're gonna get screwed.
-Come on. Beats study hall, doesn't it?
-Thank you, Jimmy.
-You know, I want to thank you for getting me into this class... No way was my old man going to spring for the fees...
-What about you, Jimbo, you need a ride?
-What?
-A ride. You want one?
-It's those rocks, up there.
-You and Suzie used to come out here together?
-Yeah, sometimes. Lots of the kids hang out here. You really think something bad happened to Suzie?
-I say something funny?
-No. But I mean... just the idea that Mr. Lombardo would...
-Way I hear it, he was pretty tight with the kids, one of the guys...
-Will you calm down. Duquette's gonna come to you just like he did to me. You're gonna have to be ready for him.
-Yeah, but he can't push you around like he can me. You've got family and they've got clout. With we it's different... with me...
-Yeah, I've got family and they've got clout and now you have me. Right? And Sam. Believe me, Suzie, this dickhead's not going to send you anywhere. He's gonna try and rattle your cage, and that's it. Stay strong and he can't do shit.
-I can't believe you called Sam. What's the matter with you?
-I'm scared, that's what. I'm scared there's no one to trust.
-You're gonna fuck me over, aren't you?
-Oh, for Christ's sake.
-You are.
-Anybody ever tell you that stuff will rot your brain?
-What are you looking at?
-I thought we were goin' to a movie.
-I wanna live at the beach someday.
-Is there some reason why you're here?
-Curiosity, I guess.
-Excuse me?
-The thing about it is, threesomes so rarely work out.
-You're out of your mind.
-Am I right, did Sam sell you on the idea right up front, of whacking Suzie? That's murder, Kelly.
-Get off my property.
-Is that Sam Lombardo?
-Hi, Mon.
-Which one of your "bodyguards" is that?
-Okay, what's the matter?
-My friends buy me clothes, so I don't look like trash.
-I would hardly say you look like trash.
-Kelly. What is it?
-I miss Dad.
-Jesus. Well, I do too, sometimes...
-No you don't.
-What?
-He... Sam Lombardo?
-You didn't have to fly back -- from -- wherever, for me...
-I'm here to congratulate my friends and their children. I'm leaving again tonight.
-Don't bother. I'm taking a trip.
-Where, the mall?
-Okay, try me on Sunday. I'm going out to the Everglades on Saturday. You guys can wash the mud off.
-Don't forget the car wash.
-Look, he forgot. I knew it.
-Where's the hose? We can set up.
-So, where you off to now?
-Aren't you forgetting something? Your coupon. We gotta have it.
-Jeez, that thing... Can't you...
-All right. I'll have to look for it.
-Kelly...
-Drop dead... You know where my mom is trying to get the money to pay you off? She's trying to break my trust. How do you like that? I can't touch it until she's dead and she won't give me a dime and now she's trying to break it to pay you...
-Jesus Christ, what are you doing?
-How much?
-God, you scared the shit out of me. You must be crazy coming here.
-From now on, if we're seen together, it's got to be accidental. I thought that was understood...
-The only way we're gonna blow this now, is if we do it ourselves...
-Do it to ourselves?
-We have to stick with the plan.
-Kelly. Is Suzie there?
-Yes.
-Shit. I was afraid of that. She left this garbled message on my machine. Can you calm her down?
-Why can't you come...
-No! Christ. Listen, Kelly, I'm counting on you. You calm her down. I mean do whatever you have to, whatever it takes...
-You know what it takes.
-I'm here.
-I'm sorry, Kelly. I'm sorry it had to happen like this. She was losing it...
-Hello?
-Hello.
-I'm really serious. That cop, he keeps watching me.
-Duquette. Forget him...
-I can't help it. He gives me the creeps... I mean why was Suzie so scared of him? She's not that way. I think he did something...
-Yeah, he got her busted for possession...
-I don't know... I think it was something else... Suzie says the bust was bullshit...
-And you believe her?
-I don't know. I want to see you...
-Kelly... Relax. Take one of your mom's valium or something. In another week you get on the plane. It's over. We're rich.
-So if they're tapping your phone, we're dead. Stay in the guest house. Skip the graduation parties. You'll never see Duquette. Okay? I love you.
-That never seemed to worry you at the Glades.
-That's not your line.
-Say you love me.
-I love you. Now give me the line.
-I'm running away.
-You think that's wise?
-But check this...
-Good thinking.
-You can tie whoever did it to Sandra Van Ryan...
-Forget it.
-Lady has some deep pockets. That's all I'm saying.
-Can't you take that stupid thing off?
-You're not in bad shape, really. I know you think you are, but you're not. Let me tell you why. Sandra Van Ryan.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Nellie Gail Ranch...
-Sound nice? It's a fucking drug rehab farm. It's where Kelly Van Ryan went when her morn fished her out of the swamp. Meanwhile, you get educator of the year I mean there's no way they can put this thing in front of a jury. Shit, they haven't even taken your statement yet. Reason? They're still shoveling dirt and my guess is, they're coming
-There's nothing for them to get.
-Good. So what we're going to do is march right to Hunter's doorstep. We're going to insist they take a statement. We're going to tell them to charge your ass or get off your back. They're walking a fine line here. Defamation of character, malicious prosecution...
-I just want my life back...
-Come on, let loose!
-I was just thinking about where I'm gonna stay. I lost the house. It's like waking up from a goddamn nightmare.
-You'll get over it. We've got a knockdown, airtight, motherfucker of a lawsuit against Sandra Van Ryan.
-Just like that?
-You're saying that Kelly was raped by Sam Lombardo.
-Who is it?
-Where is she?
-Where she lives. In the guest house. Now will you tell me what this is about?
-I'm placing your daughter under arrest.
-You can't...
-Meet my partner, Gloria Perez.
-It's Celine. He's okay. He had a pretty good line on what cheap fucks people are.
-No.
-Will they?
-It doesn't look like it.
-You ought to watch it with that shit, Suzie. You get busted again, you go back in a two-tine loser.
-Yeah, they're bad for your health. I'm tryin' to look out for you...
-That's cop bullshit.
-Well, you're half right. Best thing you could do for yourself right now would be to talk to me.
-About what?
-Every triangle I've ever seen never lasts. Somebody's got to go.
-Is this supposed to mean something to me? What triangle?
-You, Kelly, Sam.
-Is that what you think? You have friends? Is that what they told you?
-I don't mean who you're thinking. I have other friends...
-Get away from me.
-Don't you see what this means? You really think Sam and Kelly are gonna give you a third of the money? You, the pill-head with the rap sheet?
-Davy.
-You... I should've killed you myself. should never have left it up to him...
-Sam, for godsake.
-Why don't you tell us one more time, how Kelly came to be with you, alone in your house.
-I had to go look for this coupon.
-The one you bought at school.
-Like I said, I hadn't really expected to use it. Anyway, I'm going through a drawer. I hear a car. I look out the window. I see Nicole driving away. I leave my room, and there's Kelly.
-In cutoffs, a wet T-shirt.
-Yes.
-And she wanted to talk.
-Yes.
-But you can't tell us what she wanted to talk about.
-I could, but it's confidential. Look, the point is, we didn't talk. I told her this was not an appropriate time or place.
-And she began to cry. And you put an arm around her.
-But she ran away.
-But you do admit to touching her, to putting your arm around her. Isn't that against the rules?
-It is and I don't. Ordinarily... But, I mean... there's this kid standing in front of you crying...
-Fuck you. This is bullshit. I'm outta here.
-Yeah, well, you fixed that. What the hell happened, anyway?
-Hey, what did you want me to do, die?
-Did you become squeamish about these things before or after you bludgeoned little Suzie Toller to death with a wine bottle? Jesus, man. It couldn't have worked out better. They're convinced Kelly whacked Suzie. I can't talk 'em out of it. We should be celebrating. This thing worked out just like you said, only better.
-You mean this thing?
-Yes, we call it a winch. And these are shrouds, and these are stays.
-I thought this was supposed to be a vacation. Why didn't you buy a nice big power boat?
-Come on, man. I'll make a sailor out of you yet.
-Jesus, man... You okay?
-That how you planned it? You take cut Suzie, get me to hang it on Kelly, then dump me in the ocean...
-How much is about six and a half million divided by three?
-Sam...
-But I..
-Yeah, right.
-I was worried about you, Suzie. I decided we should all get together, one more time, before we split up.
-Are you mad at me?
-That was about as grim as it gets.
-The guy was history when he killed Kelly. You knew that.
-But then you knew what he was like all along... Maybe his killing Kelly was a thing you had counted on...
-What?
-What's wrong?
-Seems to like some of the same places you do. Funny you never met.
-Yeah, real funny. You're wrong about this, I could get busted on the spot.
-I've seen you out there in your old air boat, thinking about what might have been, old man Van Ryan hadn't fucked you out of it. What if I told you I had a way we could get a big piece of it back?
-We?
-How...
-Walter. He's been aimin' that Brownie through knotholes for years. I saw these, I knew he'd finally struck gold. I can't decide which came out better, that little straw Kelly's got up her nose, or that vibrator you've got up her ass. What do you think, Mr. Lombardo?
-What? You're going to drive off without even saying hi?
-Hi, Sandy.
-Why don't you come in, have a drink?
-I can't, Sandy. I've got to run.
-I'll bet. Look, Sam. Why don't you come by this weekend. We'll take the boat out...
-Sorry, Sandy. I've got plans.
-What? Running over alligators with that silly swamp jalopy when you could be sailing a real boat...
-Sandy... What's up?
-Listen, Kelly skipped school. Have you talked to her?
-No.
-Shit. Here we go again.
-Didn't you see her this morning?
-Look. I know you're seeing Barbara Baxter. So what?
-Grab a clue, Sam. You're a hired hand around here. Enjoy it while it lasts.
-J. S. Bach.
-Jim West.
-Artemus Gordon. Bach, he's the composer.
-I don't mind him, but who the hell are you... my valet or something?
-Valet? You jest of course. I am a U.S. Marshal.
-Funny. So am I.
-Congratulations. Unfortunately, my train is about to leave, and I really must insist you disembark.
-Your train? Listen, friend, you're obviously lost. ... I've got orders here to take possession of this train and to investigate a certain crime.
-Just another bureaucratic foul-up. You know how these pencil-pushers are. So, why don't you just run on back and explain what happened?
-You're quite the wordsmith, fiddle boy. But nobody smooth-talks his way into my assignment.
-But don't pull that again.
-Eight scientists. Eight different fields of endeavor. Hydraulics, optics, ballistics...
-Put them all together and what do we have?
-A giant... hydraulically operated microscope... that explodes? Or maybe just someone who hates scientists.
-Then why kidnap them? Why not just kill them?
-Sorry. Didn't mean that. Just a little device of mine...
-Wait a minute. Now I know where I've heard of you. You're the gadget guy.
-Attractive buttons, yes? But yank one off, toss it, and poof! It emits a cloud of sleeping gas.
-You need that real often?
-Always hoping. Or this...
-No offense, but all I ever need... Are these... And this.
-Good Lord, man. The world is changing. And mark me, it is always the criminal mind that is the first to exploit modern invention. We, as defenders of the right, must keep pace!
-All right, if it'll make you happy, I'll try that.
-Your little jack-in-the-box gun. That might be useful.
-That should put us ahead of the criminals.
-Aha!
-Aha?
-Yes, aha. A brass screw.
-Is this leading somewhere?
-Potentially. This is the painstaking process of piecing together clues. The cornerstone of the modern science of criminology. Piece by piece we reconstruct the identity of the villain.
-Starting with a screw?
-Yes. Starting with a screw. Now, it's not fair of me to expect someone who's spent his life wrangling with Western desperadoes to fully appreciate what I'm doing here, but...
-Limestone quarry?
-Limestone quarry, Southern mansion. Easy to get them mixed up... I say we invite ourselves to the party.
-Doyle, once around the park. I need a moment to prepare.
-Prepare what?
-Come Llewellyn, don't tarry.
-Call me that again, and you're going to find a boot where it doesn't belong.
-That's a lot of butler.
-Quite. Come, let's mingle.
-Doctor V. L. Pemberton. I knew it. He's a scientist all right. Inventor of the Pemberton Condensed Steam Engine. I'm telling you, Artemus, Loveless is our man.
-Whoa, Jim. Maybe. But we can't arrest this little pillar of society on maybe.
-All right. How about this? We put a watch on this Pemberton, somebody tries to grab him...
-You know your Morse Code almost as well as I.
-Almost?
-You feeling all right?
-Now, what was that?
-You're either having a seizure or you just said "hello."
-What was all that back there?
-All what?
-All that jumping and kicking.
-Garrison...? Then the President was right. Except it's not a foreign power, it's a bunch of die- hard Rebels trying to make the South rise again.
-Could I just point out, this is a perfect example of the criminal mind exploiting modern invention.
-Never seen a gun fire so fast!
-At least I tried something.
-Damn it, this is ridiculous.
-At least the thing's not that fast. We just follow it. Whenever it stops, we're there, waiting.
-Jim, are you all right?
-No, I'm not all right. They got away. And we can't even follow them. They can get off the tracks anywhere they want.
-If you don't mind my asking, were you always the way you are?
-What way is that?
-So... spontaneous. All that leaping off buildings and Chinese fighting and whatnot.
-"Spontaneous." I like that. Most people say something like "hare- brained reckless son-of-a-bitch."
-Well... that, too.
-So... what happened?
-Those kids, they took my wagon. Never got it back.
-Uh... how long ago was this?
-You might have mentioned you had that.
-Strange... you'd think he'd have this place better guarded.
-They're so precious when they're asleep.
-Can you fill me in here?
-Sure. We have no idea what's going on.
-Thank you.
-Come on, let's at least see if we can find Dr. Pemberton.
-Know what this is?
-Sure. It's a wind-up... thing.
-This is good.
-Oh, damn! That's it.
-It's better than nothing.
-It is?
-No record of him.
-What's this?
-Sounds like a train. Looks like a train.
-Willard...
-It's not a guy...
-Got to be somewhere that's hot. He said it was "damnably hot."
-Damn, I wish this thing would go faster.
-Relax. We're almost there.
-What is that?
-This? I'm testing a new spirit gum, to see how it holds.
-And people are actually fooled by that?
-Not again.
-So the idea is if a guy punches me, he really hurts his hand?
-When we find him, he is mine.
-What if these tracks are just leading us to an Indian village or some old coot's mining claim?
-Excellent detective work, sir. You should have the honor of going first.
-Oh, thank you.
-Artemus, you ready for this? His next target is Albuquerque.
-What? President Grant is...!
-I know! I know!
-I don't have to tell you what that would do to our careers!
-We've got to stop him right here, now! With that armored steam engine of his it'll be a slaughter.
-I'd love to stop him, but have you noticed the hundred armed men?
-There's only seventy-eight.
-It was in your book.
-Are those just button buttons or...?
-My hat is off to you, sir.
-God in heaven, what is that?!
-My God! He's so excessive!
-Pull the balloon right in front of him! We'll board the damn thing!
-The machine was stopped! It seemed like a perfect time to disable it! Why'd you have to throw it into full throttle?!
-He was going to shoot me! Do you mind?!
-All right, all right... It'll be okay. I mean, eventually it'll just run out of steam.
-Artemus! Look at that. Brand spanking new. She's a beauty, huh? Let's get rolling.
-What is this? A whole new train?
-Well, we'll stay in touch... you know.
-Terribly sorry. I'm always sticking this where it doesn't belong. Federal agents, ma'am. We're rescuing a kidnap victim...
-Yes, me!
-You didn't tell us you had this on!
-He calls it the Tarantula.
-He's not giving up?
-Time for you to get off, Ma'am.
-A new friend?
-Anyone?
-Here. Mr. Tyler. He claims a certain skill at handling firearms.
-I could get used to this, looking down on people.
-They don't even realize they should be frightened.
-My name's Tyler. Frank Tyler. Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
-I get that feeling. You know, Mr. Tyler, I'm the kind of woman who doesn't believe men are much more than a complete waste of time. But after spying you across the room, I'm tempted to suspend my disbelief, at least for the evening.
-You know, ma'am, you remind me of a pearl-handled pistol I once owned. A beautiful thing to look at, but too hot to handle.
-Please do. I'm a man who appreciates a good firearm.
-Really?
-Well, where I come from it kind of goes with the territory. Texas.
-Well, sir, you are proving to be one of my more interesting guests.
-Your guests, ma'am?
-Oh, don't worry. I've already overlooked the fact your name's not actually on our guest list.
-Well, I owe you one, don't I?
-You must excuse the Doctor. No one has ever beaten him at his little game.
-Have you taken a wrong turn, Mr. Tyler?
-You tell me.
-I'm not so sure Dr. Loveless would like to find his social secretary dancing in the dark with an uninvited stranger.
-Forgive me, but you don't strike me as the social secretary type.
-Thank you. But the truth is, I'm a single woman in a man's world. That leaves me very few choices, doesn't it?
-Just a little insurance... against the unexpected.
-Would that include me?
-You've... done... this... before.
-She's perfectly safe.
-My. It's gotten longer.
-You bring the best out in a man.
-You know, I really hate being toyed with before someone shoots me.
-Look, I'm Captain James West...
-Your private train, sir.
-Private train?
-Doyle's the name, sir. Of the Connemara Doyles. And there's not a man riding the rails who holds a candle to meself. That having been said, sir, you're five minutes late so let's be on our way! Your friend's already aboard.
-Would you be thinking... ramming speed, sir?
-Don't try to bamboozle me, Colonel. Has another scientist been kidnapped or not?
-Listen, in two days I'm embarking on a tour of the western territories. And I want to know at least one problem is being handled competently in my absence.
-Of course, sir, that's why I've assigned a new man. And he's no ordinary Marshal. He's quite sophisticated. Three college degrees. A master of disguise. Speaks French...
-French?
-Yes sir.
-Why surely, Mr. President, there must be some mistake. I mean...
-Mr. President, good to see you again, sir. Sorry about all that.
-Good work. Really.
-This is Colonel Richards.
-But what would anyone have to gain from all this...? Unless it were a foreign power.
-We find ourselves at the dawn of the Golden Age of Science. And it is the God-given destiny of this glorious nation to carry the torch that lights the way!
-Nicely said, sir.
-Goddamnit! What am I doing? What's happened to all my cigars? Colonel Richards here has had a dozen agents on these cases for over a year. No arrests, no leads, no clues...
-And?
-... well, of course you can. Mr. President, what a surprise. What brings you here?
-Where'd he say he was going to do this?
-I admire a man with a sense of humor.
-I must compliment you on Miss Thompson... an exceptionally charming assistant.
-Very good, sir! I think my guest might be a sharpshooter by trade.
-No, sir... just a businessman.
-Really? Must be a dangerous business.
-Sir... I believe you have only two barrels.
-Why don't we just cut this routine short? Whatever you do to us, we're not going to talk.
-... And do give me some room, Voltaire. You're breathing on my head! I hate it when you breath on my head!
-You're not that big.
-Still alive. Hmm. I suppose that doesn't bode well for poor Bruno.
-He had a pressing engagement.
-You got that right. Now get up. We're walking out of here.
-Has it penetrated that adrenaline- addled skull that you are surrounded by seventy-eight of my loyal followers? You are in my domain!
-The U.S. is my jurisdiction.
-These lands were taken by force from Mexico in the illegal War of American Aggression.
-That would be... the Mexican War?
-I've even printed my own currency.
-"Emperor Miguelito...?"
-The first.
-Well, your highness, what makes you think we'll ever sign a treaty with you?
-Because I am holding all the western territories hostage, Mr. West! A town a day will disappear! Willard was merely a test run, a stroll in the park. Next, I level all of Albuquerque! Yes, that's right. Only yesterday I learned what you undoubtedly already know: your own President will be there. What an added bonus! The gods are shining on me! After tomorrow
-Easy now.
-Dr. Pemberton?
-Gotta get the Doctor someplace safe.
-Who were they? What do they want with me?
-I only met him once, but that was enough. For such a little man he had quite an oversized opinion of himself. He offered me the "rare and unparalleled opportunity" to develop a new steam engine for him. He claims to have some sort of factory in Texas, I believe. Said I could have the run of the place. He had all sorts of
-Who was this partner of his?
-A Southern gentlemen. I don't recall his name. I suppose it's unkind of me to say it, but he had the most disconcerting glass eye.
-Are you all right?
-He... he's planning to kill us, isn't he?
-This is something.
-Now it's a bomb.
-I beg your pardon?
-Well?
-They're coming.
-When are they coming?
-They're rounding up a posse. Figure an hour?
-Hey...!
-You're not going to use it, are you?
-Well, come on, that's half a dozen armed men...
-We're going into battle, little one. Find a woman to take care of it.
-Madmartigan! What did you do this time?
-I always knew you'd end up in a crow's cage.
-Airk! Come on, Airk. Lemme outa here.
-Hey, remember? You don't need my help, Madmartigan. Little rabbit trap like this? Come on! I could open it for you, but I wouldn't wanna insult you!
-You left me to die, friend.
-You managed alright.
-It's you they're after, Madmarti- gan. What did you do this time?
-You gonna be a hero, Madmartigan? I've lost half my men fighting Kael, and Bavmorda, and the Nock- maar army. Now you and this Peck, and that magpie up in the rafters, are gonna take 'em on alone?
-You're chasing a dream.
-Out for a little ride in the coun- try, Airk?
-Thank you, friend.
-Willow Ufgood.
-Yes...?
-You mean, you know who this baby belongs to?
-No, Willow. Your journey has just begun. It has been foretold that this child shall bring about the downfall of Queen Bavmorda, whose evil powers have darkened our world. Upon you depends this princess's life.
-You are the guardian, Willow. You must take her to Tir Asleen.
-The way has been lost in time. But there is one person, a druid sor- ceress, who might guide you there. She was exiled by Queen Bavmorda many years ago. Her name is Fin Raziel.
-You need a warrior for this job. I'm nobody.
-You are very important, Willow.
-Why can't you do it? You have mag- ical powers.
-They look like acorns.
-Sir! I have to talk to you.
-Not today, Willow.
-Earlier today you tried to tell me something, Willow.
-Now, you know where you're going? Down there, through those trees, follow the river. You'll know the crossroads by a big daikini struc- ture. Willow, this is serious business. Don't waste any time, the outer world is no place for a Nelwyn. Give the baby to the first daikini you see, then hurry home as fast as you can.
-If I'm not strong enough to be your apprentice, how can I do this?
-You're strong enough. But you're going to need courage, Willow.
-I don't want courage. I don't want to be a warrior. All I've ever wanted was to do magic, real magic, like you!
-Go in the direction the bird is flying.
-Oh, if I could do that I'd--I'd turn Burglekutt into a toad!
-You! Are you the mother of that child?
-I can't.
-I can't.
-Why not?
-Gawd...you're...beautiful...
-Mmmm, I love the smell of a woman.
-I do what I'm told.
-You're a fool. Now put her back.
-Why did you say that?
-Say what?
-Because it's true.
-Sorsha.
-We'll probably die here, Sorsha.
-Willow, why don't you use your mag- ic to get us out of here?
-He's no magician.
-Then you get us out of here.
-Who is that girl, anyway?
-We're a tiny version of all that?
-Bavmorda cannot transform you. I've protected this camp with a spell.
-Please? I'm dyin' of thirst in here.
-Don't make me angry, Peck.
-You be careful. I'm a powerful sorcerer. I could turn you into a toad just like that.
-Do any other daikinis ever come by here?
-Why.
-Hey! Somebody's coming!
-Thanks for your help, Peck.
-Are you okay?
-As if you care. I saved your life, Peck. Those guys woulda killed us! You wanna give your baby to them?? They eat babies!
-You a woodcutter?
-Farmer.
-You all right?
-Smells like a battle.
-Are you a warrior?
-What's that? I hear something!
-You hear trouble.
-I'll be around long after you're dead, Airk! You slime! When I get outa here I'll cut your head off and stick it on a pig-pole!
-Whatcha thinkin' about, Willow?
-Nobody's gonna take your baby. Know why? Nobody cares... Except me. You wanna go back to your farm. You wanna go back to your family. I could take care of that baby. I'll look after her like she was me own.
-You gotta promise to feed her.
-I will.
-Fresh goat's milk.
-And give her a bath everyday, and don't let her get cold. And keep her diaper changed.
-Here are her diaper rags. And this is her milk bladder. And when she cries--she's either hungry or she's tired--rock her on your left shoulder. She likes that.
-You!!
-Hey! Give me that baby!
-These Pecks make terrible nurse- maids.
-Time to change her diaper.
-Because she's sick.
-Where's the baby??
-Now Willow, I know you're gonna blame me for this but it wasn't my fault...!
-When I left the crossroads, I got ambushed by an elf!
-Madmartigan! You saved her life!
-So you're on your way to Tir Asleen, huh? I hate to tell you this, Willow, but Tir Asleen dosn't exist.
-Yes it does. The Fairy Queen told me.
-Madmartigan, I need your help.
-I was in love once, Willow. She had a hold on my heart. I could barely function. I *was* a great swordsman! I was knighted! I could have been king!
-You?
-I'll help you...!
-I'm beginning to think you two *deserve* to be locked up.
-Did she ask about me?
-Who?
-She said lots of thing.s
-She asked about you, Madmartigan.
-She's in love.
-You?
-Madmartigan! I can't stand being in closed-in places.
-Want me to carry Elora?
-Willow...this may be a bad time to ask this question but...what if Raziel's wrong?
-She can't be wrong. She's a very very very powerful sorceress.
-She's a bird, Willow.
-That's my fault, not hers. I've got to keep practicing. I'm still in the learning stage but magic, Madmartigan, requires concentration and--
-Watch it!
-I have an idea. Back in my village we catch a lot of hedgehogs.
-Willow, this is war, not agricul- ture!
-I don't know, Willow.
-It's not a Nelwyn baby.
-Can't we keep it, Dada?
-Dada, what's a daikini?
-Daikinis are giant people who live far far away.
-I could be you rguard! I could carry your spear!
-Who are you! Who are you!
-What do you want!
-Kill him!
-No!
-Did *you* give that acorn its power?
-No.
-You must learn magic.
-That's all I ever wanted!
-Willow. To learn magic, first you must make your own philosopher's stone!
-What do I need for that?
-I hope she's all right. How much more do I have to do of this?
-Till it's in a powder. The energy exits within you...
-I know, and the magician's goal is to find his true self. But what's this got to do with it?
-I'm all finished. Now what?
-How am I gonna do that?
-We don't have much time left! Go on! Go on!
-I must concetrate my imagination...to creat a new...reality!
-What's the magician's weapon?
-Your will! Your will! What else could it be?
-I can't remember all these things. What am I learning?
-But what am I gonna transform??
-Oooh, this smells terrible.
-Ouch!!
-What'd you bit me for!!
-Again: what is the magician's weapon?
-His will.
-I just wanted to test it first.
-Tir Asleen.
-How??
-I did it! Madmartigan! Come here! Look! You gotta see this! I did it!
-Raziel! I transformed them all! I'm a magician!
-Get down! The ritual chant! Quick! Protect yourself!
-Why?
-I've come all this way and now Elora Dana's going to die!
-No! I can still defeat Bavmorda!
-Time is running out.
-Patience, Willow.
-Elves! They're always tormenting babies. They make them cry and take their tears.
-Watch this. Right between the eyes.
-I'm not going in there.
-Are you sure?
-We gotta follow them.
-Get back here, Rool!
-If you rest the baby on your shoulder, she'll stop crying.
-She needs to be changed.
-She needs to be changed again. Sorsha crosses her arms in a hugg and watches as Willow changes the baby. Soon the baby stops crying. Re- lieved yet still anxious, Sorsha paces to a mirror. Willow rocks the baby gently, absently looking at the fire. Then his eyes focus on the fire.
-Who is that horrible friend of yours?
-Madmartigan.
-Who is he?
-She's hungry.
-I know she's hungry. I tried to feed her but she wouldn't eat a thing. I'm not a wet nurse.
-We are emissaries of her majesty, Queen Cherlindrea, of the land of Coshairm.
-Queen Cherlindrea?
-She requests the presence of your- self and the young princess.
-Who??
-I'm getting her out of there!
-Ohhh, I hate this.
-Take your time. Don't worry about the elves. They won't come out here.
-This is not going well.
-Talk! Say something!
-Hey, careful there!
-Its branches are supposed to be made of gold, solid gold.
-We've traveled a long way. We're looking for Fin Raziel.
-Obviously.
-This can't be right. This isn't a sorceress. This is some kind of animal.
-Sure, I'm sorry. Hope you don't mind me plugging in to your battery. Mine's dead... How can I help? What can I do?
-Maybe milking.
-Milking?
-Cows. You know, cows?
-I've seen pictures.
-Didn't you hear me, Book? Pull! You never had your hands on a teat before?
-Eat up, Book. What's the matter with your appetite?
-Guess I'm not used to so much.
-How could you do this to me tonight? I told you I had company
-Where's Timmy and Buck?
-Upstairs, asleep. Where'd you think?
-You've got a man here and the kids are upstairs?
-That's none of your goddamn business! So keep your goddamn holier-than- thou mouth shut! Anyway, they like Fred.
-Who are these orphans, anyway?
-Put my car in the garage and close the door.
-John, I don't understand any of this.
-You don't know anything... borrowed your car. Didn't say why. And you never heard of that woman and her boy.
-John, why?...
-Good morning. Book, is it? You are the Yankee they talk about?
-I thought I was the English.
-I came to see Rachel Lapp.
-Eli says you're a carpenter, Book.
-It's been a while.
-Your hole is healed, then?
-Nail it!
-Everything is all right, John.
-I saw him.
-Who'd you see, Sam? The man on the floor?
-He was... like him.
-You ever handle a pistol like this, Samuel?
-No pistol. Ever.
-Tell you what – I'm going to let you handle this one. But only if you promise not to say anything to your momma. I've got a feeling she wouldn't understand.
-That's Luke. He doesn't like strangers.
-Hey, Sam...
-...I want to say a thing.
-Is it them?
-It's them, Sam. Now, Sam, listen to me and listen to me carefully. Listen to me as you never listened before.
-Are they going to kill you?
-Listen to me, Sam! I want you to go across the new corn to Stoltzfus'. Run as fast as you can. And stay there!
-What are you going to do?
-Don't let them hurt you.
-Are you really ever coming back?
-Got to, Sam. You and I are going to a courthouse together, put some people behind bars.
-Have you got your gun on now?
-How reliable is this kid?
-Oh, he's good.
-Amish.
-Yeah.
-What have you got?
-Zenovitch was about to deliver a list of names tonight – street chemists... the guys processing this P2P into speed.
-So one of them got to him.
-Maybe.
-You know who?
-Maybe.
-You're still convinced there's a link to the department?
-If there isn't I've just wasted the last six months.
-That's the problem. We need results. The press is driving us crazy over this P2P thing. Calling us the 'speed capitol of the country'. You know the sort of thing. It's getting political. The Commissioner's getting very uneasy.
-The Amish boy saw him, Paul. I'll make it, but Set Donahue and the Homicide Department off my back or they'll blow the whole thing.
-When word gets out that Zenovitch was a cop, all hell will break lose. You've got 24 hours. That's all I can give you. 24 hours on your own. After that the case and the witness go back to the Homicide Department.
-Tell you what... why don't you and that blonde – what's-her-name – come over for dinner Sunday. How 'bout that.
-What's-her-name moved to Buffalo.
-Last guy I would have figured. But he's part of it.
-I hope you don't have any doubts about that.
-If I did, I'd have kept my mouth shut... It fits, Paul... Fifty-five gallons of P2P confiscated four years ago... Guess who was in on the collar? Mac. He salts it away somewhere... he knows the stuff is potent, but the street chemists haven't figured out how to process it. But they do now. And now the stuff is worth five-grand a pint and
-Who else knows?
-Just us.
-Okay, what are you going to need to clean it up
-More people... Gotta pick up where Zenovich left off. People from outside the department.
-What's your first move?
-Who else knows?
-You made a mistake, Paul. You shouldn't have taken Elton out.
-How bad did Mac get you? We figured pretty bad.
-I'm fine. I'm going to live a long time. That's what I called to tell you.
-Johnny –
-You might want to pass it along to Mac.
-Listen to me, Johnny. Come in! You're out there all alone... We're getting close... real close... Maybe if you listen to me for a minute we can work something out so you can come in –
-You're going to have to do it right here, Schaeffer.
-It's all over, Paul.
-I'm a police officer. I'm going to have to talk to the boy. What's his name?
-Samuel. Samuel Lapp. But what happened here is none of his affair. My sister is expecting me... our train is leaving soon.
-Where are you taking us?
-We're looking for a suspect. We've reason to believe he's still in the area.
-You have no right to keep us here.
-Yes I do. Your son is a material witness to a homicide.
-You don't understand, we have nothing to do with your laws!
-Doesn't surprise me. I meet a lot of people like that.
-What was that?
-Now what's the problem?
-Whacking?
-Yes. And I also want to leave this city.
-Believe me, I'm trying to get this over with as fast as I can. But Samuel will probably have to come back and testify.
-We do not go into your courts.
-Look, I'm genuinely sorry...
-No you're not – You're glad, because now you've got a witness. I heard the other police talking last night. They don't seem to like you very much.
-They kid a lot.
-But not a good tired.
-Your sister said you don't have a family?
-No.
-Oh? Anything else?
-Why don't you arrest that man? Are you protecting him because policeman?
-But why would they murder...
-Because – somehow – they knew I was getting close. Look, it's narcotics... They make dope out of chemicals... they sell it on the street for millions of dollars. They'll do anything. And they can get away with it because they're cops.
-I'm afraid. I'm afraid for Samuel. I want to go home.
-Where are you taking us now?
-Home.
-You said we would be safe in Philadelphia.
-Stay for awhile. Rest. I'll make coffee and breakfast.
-I can't.
-But John... why didn't you go to a hospital?
-No, no doctor...
-But why?
-Gunshot... they'll file reports... they'll find me.
-Who are they?
-The leadership of our district... the diener. Bishop Tschantz is the one with no hair on top. They decided to come and see you for themselves. Except Stoltzfus, of course. He came the first day. I think he saved your life.
-Does anybody know I'm here?
-Only the elders.
-How long?
-What?
-How long have I been here?
-Two days.
-Listen, thank you. Thanks for everything. But I've got to go.
-Tell him his tea stinks.
-John Book, I would appreciate it if, during the time you are with us, you would have as little to do with Samuel as possible.
-Nobody meant any harm. The boy was curious. I unloaded the gun -
-Enjoying your reading?
-Very interesting. I'm learning a lot about manure. What's that?
-Your husband's?
-I should tell you these do not have buttons. See? Hooks and eyes.
-Something wrong with buttons?
-Buttons are Hochmut.
-Hochmut?
-Vain. Proud. Such a person is Hochmutsnarr. He is not plain.
-Anything against zippers?
-You make fun of me. Like the tourists. Driving by all the time. Some even come into the yard. Very rude. They seem to think we are quaint.
-Where's the nearest telephone?
-Telephone? The Gunthers across the valley. They're Mennonite. They have cars and refrigerators and telephones in the houses even.
-Well... the store at Saltzburg... But you won't be going to Saltzburg for a while.
-I'm going this morning.
-But Stoltzfus said...
-I know what he said.
-The... bullets?
-Eli is a fine carpenter. Best in the district. He and his father built the big house themselves forty years ago.
-Oh? What happened to Hochstetler?
-We had some lemonade and he left.
-You know carpentry?
-I did some carpentry summers when I was going to school.
-What else can you do?
-I can whack people. I'm hell at whacking.
-Whacking is not of much use on a farm.
-Now hold on. There's a lot of people who think being a cop is a legitimate job.
-Sure.
-But... You may not be well enough.
-When will you be going?
-Won him over just like that.
-You should not bother with that birdhouse. If you're leaving tomorrow.
-There was a time when I thought you might have stayed.
-There was.
-There was a time when I would have welcomed it.
-I know.
-I was being foolish?
-No. I was being unrealistic. Even thinking about living this life.
-You're so sure of that?
-Aren't you? After today?
-I'm not so sure of anything as you are, John Book. You could live this life if you wanted to bad enough. Just as I could live yours!
-Oh, come on, Rachel. No way.
-There is always a way! But you are such a... a Glotzkopp you cannot see! You'd rather go back to that city! To nothing! No woman! No children! No land!
-Land! Are you crazy? I'm no Amishman and I'm no farmer! I'm a cop. That's what I know and that's what I do!
-What you do is take vengeance! Which is a sin against heaven!
-That's your way, not mine.
-That's God's way!
-I want you to take this... to remember by.
-Where's my baggy pants?
-Anybody know about this?
-I didn't even know about it.
-I got there late, John.
-Let's just find Coalmine. Listen, Zenovich made a mistake. You didn't let anybody down. It happens –
-Listen carefully, I wrote the Amish woman's name and address on my desk calendar, I want you to lose it for me, Now. Tonight.
-What the hell are you talking about? What's happening.
-Nothing. I'm not going to be around for a while. I'll call you when I can.
-Johnny, what the fuck?
-Yeah... I can put it all together when I get back, 'Til then, you know nothing, understand? Business as usual...
-I hear you.
-It's me.
-Johnny! Where the hell have you been?
-Never mind. I'm coming in to take care of business. How hot am I?
-Too hot. Don't do it. Don't come in.
-I'm coming.
-You hear me?
-I hear you. I'll stay in touch.
-Where I'm at is maybe 1890.
-Say again?
-You know where he is.
-Wrong.
-You'd lie to protect him.
-You admit you're lying?
-I admit I don't know where he is.
-You're the first one he'll contact.
-Either you're a member of the club or you aren't, Elton. Tell me what you know...
-Did you find him?
-Elaine, I've come to apologize for Lt. McElroy. He overstated the department's position.
-He accused John of taking kickbacks. And you know – anybody who knows John – knows that's a goddamn lie!
-Of course, Elaine. But as long as there's any question, better Johnny should come back and clear his name.
-Better you should get off my front porch before I get my mace!
-Elaine, I don't want to have to take you in for questioning. You've got his car, you were the last to see him –
-I don't know where he is.
-Everything okay?
-Yes, thank you very much.
-John said you're Amish.
-Yes.
-Good morning.
-You didn't have to...
-I wanted to. you were kind to take us in last night. Anyway, I needed something to do. I was so angry with your brother. He's so... agaanisish!
-Just a minute. I'll pour you some coffee.
-You're not carrying a bullwhip... how'd you manage to put my kids to work?
-What's so funny?
-Fred. The way he looked when you screamed at him.
-God, Fred...
-At home you'd never hear a woman scream at a man that way.
-No? Why not?
-You just wouldn't. It's not the Amish way. But I think it would have done me good if I could have screamed at your brother last night.
-Who was that man?
-Is the English dead?
-No...
-That has no place in this house.
-Didn't you hear Stoltzfus? What if he dies? Then the sheriff will come. They'll say we broke their laws –
-We'll pray that he doesn't die! But if he does, then we'll find a way so no one knows!
-Rachel, this is a man's life, we hold it in our hands.
-Eli, John is a carpenter. As well as being a fine policeman.
-How can this be? How can you do such a thing? Is this plain? Is this the ordnung?
-I have done nothing against the ordnung.
-Eh? Nothing? Rachel, you bring this man to our house. With his gun of the hand. You bring fear to this house. Fear of English with guns coming after. You bring blood and whispers of more blood. Now English music... and you are dancing to English music! And you call this nothing?
-I have committed no sin.
-No sin? Maybe. Not yet. But, Rachel, it does not look... Don't you know there has been talk? Talk about you, not him. Talk about going to the Bishop. About having you... shunned!
-That is idle talk.
-I am not a child.
-You are acting like one!
-I will be the judge of that.
-No! They will be the judge of that! And so will I... if you shame me!
-No, Rachel...
-Never seen anything like that in all my years.
-He's from... Ohio... My cousin.
-We'll, them Ohio Amish sure must be different. Our Lancaster brethren, they just don't have that kind of fight in them.
-John, lost control of himself. He... will be repentant.
-You're Rachel Lapp, aren't you?
-She say where he is?
-What about Carter?
-Tight. But I'm working on him.
-Weird, man. No fuckin' electricity. What do you figure they plug all their shit into?
-He's not in this building.
-No, you listen. Get out!
-Lady, I'm here to help you. This man is very dangerous. An armed criminal. He's got a gun, hasn't he?
-He'll live.
-You might have killed him!
-Get back in there.
-My son is out there!
-Is this where we're going?
-Momma... are they angry with us.
-I don't want to stay here.
-They are English. They don't understand.
-I wish dawdie was with us.
-Aunt Em!
-Fifty-seven, fifty-eight --
-Just listen to what Miss Gulch did to Toto! She --
-Dorothy, please! We're trying to count! Fifty-eight--
-Seventy -- Dorothy, please!
-Oh, but he doesn't do it every day -- just once or twice a week. And he can't catch her old cat, anyway. And now she says she's gonna get the sheriff, and --
-Dorothy! Dorothy! We're busy!
-Auntie Em, really -- you know what Miss Gulch said she was gonna do to Toto? She said she was gonna --
-Now, Dorothy, dear, stop imagining things. You always get yourself into a fret over nothing.
-No --
-Dorothy!
--- no place like home -- there's no place like home -- no place --
-Dorothy. Dorothy, dear. It's Aunt Em, darling.
-Oh, Auntie Em -- it's you!
-But I did leave you, Uncle Henry -- that's just the trouble. And I tried to get back for days and days.
-There, there, lie quiet now. You just had a bad dream.
-Oh, we dream lots of silly things when we --
-Poor little orphan, and her Miss Gulch troubles. Gosh all hemlock - you know, she ought to have somebody to play with.
-I know, but we all got to work out our own problems, Henry.
-Yes.
-Oh, I hope we got them in time.
-Uhh -- yeah --
-Look at you, Zeke -- you're just as white --
-Here, here, what's all this jabber-wapping when there's work to be done? I know three shiftless farm hands that'll be out of a job before they know it!
-Well, Dorothy was walking along the --
-I saw you tinkering with that contraption, Hickory. Now, you and Hunk get back to that wagon!
-All right, Mrs. Gale. But some day they're going to erect a statue to me in this town, and --
-As Mayor of the Munchkin City In the County of the Land of Oz I welcome you most regally
-But we've got to verify it legally To see...
-To see?
-If she...
-If she?
-Then this is a day of Independence For all the Munchkins and their descendants!
-If any!
-From now on you'll be history
-Our echo.
-Oh, come on - come on! We'll soon find the Wizard!
-...have you come back?
-Please, sir. We've done what you told us. We've brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her.
-...resourceful!
-Yes, sir. So we'd like you to keep your promise to us, if you please, sir.
-If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your promises!
-... -- Oz -- has spoken!
-Who are you?
-Well, I -- I -- I am the Great and Powerful -- Wizard of Oz.
-Uhhhh -- yes...
-I don't believe you!
-Yes-s-s -- that...that's exactly so. I'm a humbug!
-Frightened? You are talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death -- sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe. I was petrified. Then suddenly the wind changed, and the balloon floated down into the heart of this noble city, where I was instantly acclaimed Oz, the First Wizard de Luxe!
-Ohhh!
-Oh! Come back! Don't go without me! Please come back!
-I can't come back! I don't know how it works!
-Oh --
-Oh! Oh, it feels like my joints are rusted. Listen, Dorothy, don't let Hunk kid you about Miss Gulch. She's just a poor sour-faced old maid that -- she ain't got no heart left. You know, you should have a little more heart yourself, and have pity on her.
-Well, gee, I try and have a heart.
-Now look, here's something that really has a heart. This is the best invention I ever invented.
-This?
-Sure. It's to break up winds, so we don't have no more dust storms. Can you imagine what it'll mean to this section of the country? I'll show you. It works perfectly now. Here's the principle. You see that fan -- that sends up air currents into the sky. These air currents -- Oh, stop it!
-Oh!
-Who did it? Now wait a minute.
-Hickory!
-Oh! Oh, Zeke! Help! Help me, Zeke! Get me out of here! Help!
-Are you all right, Dorothy?
-...didn't you?
-What are you going to do with my dog? Give him back to me!
-All in good time, my little pretty -- all in good time.
-Oh, please give me back my dog!
-Certainly -- certainly -- when you give me those slippers.
-But the Good Witch of the North told me not to.
-No! No -- no! Here -- you can have your old slippers -- but give me back Toto.
-Ahh! Ah!
-I'm sorry. I didn't do it! Can I still have my dog?
-Run, Toto, run!
-Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?
-Who, me? Why, I'm not a witch at all. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas.
-Toto's my dog.
-The Munchkins are happy because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East.
-Oh. But, if you please -- what are Munchkins?
-I thought you said she was dead.
-Pooh -- what a smell of sulphur! I'm afraid you've made rather a bad enemy of the Wicked Witch of the West. The sooner you get out of Oz altogether, the safer you'll sleep, my dear.
-Oh, I'd give anything to get out of Oz altogether -- but which is the way back to Kansas? I can't go the way I came.
-No -- that's true. The only person who might know would be the great and wonderful Wizard of Oz himself!
-The Wizard of Oz? Is he good or is he wicked?
-Oh, very good, but very mysterious. He lives in the Emerald City, and that's a long journey from here. Did you bring your broomstick with you?
-No, I'm afraid I didn't.
-Well, then, you'll have to walk. The Munchkins will see you safely to the border of Munchkinland. And remember, never let those ruby slippers off your feet for a moment, or you will be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West.
-But, how do I start for Emerald City?
-Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?
-You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas.
-...Toto, too?
-Toto, too.
-Oh, now?
-Whenever you wish.
-Are you ready now?
-Yes, I'm ready now.
-And think to yourself -- "There's no place like home; there's no place like home; there's no place like home."
-Let's see -- you're -- you're travelling in disguise. No, that's not right. I -- you're -- you're going on a visit. No, I'm wrong. That's...You're -- running away.
-How did you guess?
-Professor Marvel never guesses -- he knows! Now, why are you running away?
-Why --
-No, no -- now don't tell me. They -- they don't understand you at home. They don't appreciate you. You want to see other lands -- big cities -- big mountains -- big oceans --
-Yes --
-Oh, yes - you - you wanted to go home, huh?
-Oh, no, I wanted to go along with you.
-Oh --
-Nobody cares about me at home. They wouldn't even miss me.
-Aw, come, come, come --
-No, they won't - honestly.
-Oh --
-Auntie Em was even going to let them kill Toto yesterday for biting Miss Gulch. Oh, please, Professor, why can't we go with you and see all the Crowned Heads of Europe?
-That's our farm!
-...her face is careworn.
-Yes...That's Aunt Em.
-That's right. What's she doing?
-Well, I -- I can't quite see. Why, she's crying.
-Oh --
-Someone has hurt her -- someone has just about broken her heart.
-I had the measles once -- and she stayed right by me every minute.
-Uh-huh.
-...room --
-...paper?
-...bed.
-Oh, no -- no!
-That's all -- the Crystal's gone dark.
-...you don't suppose she could really be sick, do you? Oh -- Oh, I've got to go home right away!
-But -- what's this? I thought you were going along with me.
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-Beautiful! I've never seen that coat.
-What then?
-Did you see him?
-Yeah.
-Is he all right?
-Far as I know.
-Is he coming home?
-He ditched me. He started running, and I started running, then he lost me in the park.
-The park!
-It's dark in there. PENELOPE And that's where he is!
-I figure he ducked in one place and ducked out another.
-You figure!
-Then I saw this bakery store that was still open, so I bought a birthday cake.
-A what?
-For Harold. When Paul comes home, we can have some birthday cake.
-How nice.
-Did you talk to Paul?
-Before he started to run. He said his father carried a key to this apartment around his neck--and someday we'd all hear the sound of that key in the door.
-We've got to find him. I want you to show me exactly where you saw him last. And you stay here, Norbert, in case he comes home. That's all he said--the thing about the key?
-He said one other thing. It wasn't very nice.
-What was it?
-What's the matter now?
-Possibly.
-How long has this been going on?
-A week. We were waiting for the right time to--
-I feel as though I had been made a perfect chump of.
-I'm sorry.
-Marry me instead.
-Thank you, Herb. You're a wonderful man. You really are. Everybody respects you for what you've done for scouting and the Little League.
-You're saying no.
-I'm saying no--and thank you.
-I didn't make my move fast enough. That's it, isn't it? I was too respectful.
-You were wonderful.
-It's true.
-You and Harold are friends?
-I am Dr. Norbert Woodly--a physician, a healer. I find it disgusting and frightening that a killer should be a respected member of society. Gentleness must replace violence everywhere, or we are doomed.
-Herb Shuttle is taking me to a fight.
-Take plenty of cigars.
-We made the date three months ago.
-I must take you to an emergency ward sometime--on a Saturday night. That's also fun. I came to see Selma, as a matter of fact.
-The animals made her sneeze and cry too much.
-I'm glad somebody finally cried. Every time I come in here and see all this unnecessary death, I want to cry. I don't cry, of course. Not manly, you know. Did she try antihistamines?
-They made her so sleepy she couldn't work.
-"War is not healthy for children and other living things." How lovely.
-Oh no! Wear a coat of cotton--wear a coat of wool.
-What?
-I never knew when to hold it--or who to ask, or what to say.
-This is very good for us.
-It is?
-The wilder Paul is tonight, the calmer he'll be tomorrow.
-As long as he keeps out of the park.
-After this explosion, I think, he'll be able to accept the fact that his mother is going to marry again.
-The only thing I ever told him about life was, "Keep out of the park after the sun goes down."
-We've got to dump Shuttle. He brings his vacuum cleaner on dates?
-That's the XKE.
-The what?
-It's an experimental model. He doesn't dare leave it in his car, for fear it will fall into the hands of competition.
-What kind of a life is that?
-He told me one time what the proudest moment of his life was. He made Eagle Scout when he was twenty-nine years old. Oh, Norbert--promise me that Paul has not gone into the park!
-If you warned him against it as much as you say, it's almost a certainty.
-No! Oh no! Three people murdered in there in the last six weeks! The police won't even go in there any more.
-I wish Paul luck.
-It's suicide!
-I'd be dead by now if that were the case.
-Meaning?
-Every night, Penelope, for the past two years, I've made it a point to walk through the park at midnight.
-Why would you do that?
-To show myself how brave I am. The issue's in doubt, you know--since I'm always for peace--
-I'm amazed.
-Me, too. I know something not even the police know--what's in the park at midnight. Nothing. Or, when I'm in there, there's me in there. Fear and nobody and me.
-And maybe Paul. What about the murderers? They're in there!
-They didn't murder me.
-Paul's only twelve years old.
-He can make the sound of human footsteps--which is a terrifying sound.
-We've got to rescue him.
-If he is in the park, luck is all that can save him now, and there's plenty of that.
-He's not your son.
-No. But he's going to be. If he is in the park and he comes out safely on the other side, I can say to him, "You and I are the only men with balls enough to walk through the park at midnight." On that we can build.
-It's a jungle out there.
-That's been said before.
-You know each other?
-We met here earlier this evening.
-Thank you. Thank you very much.
-I'm taking her to the airport a few minutes from now. She's going to East St. Louis--to visit an aunt.
-Tell her to have a nice trip.
-Get out of here.
-You fool, you fool.
-Everything's going to be beautiful.
-Do it!
-Hi kid. Would you look what the car dragged in.
-I'm glad you brought your vacuum cleaner.
-Is that a fact?
-You've got to fight from time to time.
-Not true.
-Or get eaten alive.
-That's not true either--or needn't be, unless we make it true.
-Phooey.
-We simply stop doing that--dropping things on each other, eating each other alive.
-The late Mrs. Harold Ryan.
-I'm sick of this argument. I just have one more thing to say: If you elect a President, you support him, no matter what he does. That's the only way you can have a country!
-It's the planet that's in ghastly trouble now and all our brothers and sisters thereon.
-None of my relatives are Chinese Communists. Speak for yourself.
-Chinese maniacs and Russian maniacs and American maniacs and French maniacs and British maniacs have turned this lovely, moist, nourishing blue-green ball into a doomsday device. Let a radar set and a computer mistake a hawk or a meteor for a missile, and that's the end of mankind.
-Start with the smallest weights. Every week add a pound or two.
-Maybe God has let everybody who ever lived be reborn--so he or she can see how it ends. Even Pithecanthropus erectus and Australopithecus and Sinanthropus pekensis and the Neanderthalers are back on Earth--to see how it ends. They're all on Times Square--making change for peepshows. Or recruiting Marines.
-You ever hear the story about the boy who carried a calf around the barn every day?
-He died of a massive rupture.
-You think you're so funny. You're not even funny. Right? Right? You don't hurt yourself if you start out slow.
-Kid--kid--
-It's good. Let him go.
-If he'd just come out for the Little League, the way I asked him, he'd find out we touch all the time--shove each other, slug each other, and just horse around. I'm going to go get him--
-If he'd just get into scouting, and camp out some, and see how everybody roughhouses around the fire--
-What a beautiful demonstration this is of the utter necessity of rites of passage.
-Minors aren't allowed at fights.
-"Happy Birthday, Wanda June!"
-We have this new club up here in Heaven.
-Yes, we do.
-We only have two members so far, but it's growing all the time.
-We have enough for a shuffleboard team. In Heaven, shuffleboard is everything. Hitler plays shuffleboard.
-Albert Einstein plays shuffleboard.
-Mozart plays shuffleboard.
-Lewis Carroll, who wrote Alice in Wonderland, plays shuffleboard.
-Jack the Ripper plays shuffleboard.
-Walt Disney, who gave us Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, plays shuffleboard. Jesus Christ plays shuffleboard.
-It was almost worth the trip--to find out that Jesus Christ in Heaven was just another guy, playing shuffleboard. I like his sense of humor, though--you know? He's got a blue-and-gold warm-up jacket he wears. You know what it says on the back? "Pontius Pilate Athletic Club." Most people don't get it. Most people think there really is a Pontius Pilate Athletic Club.
-We're going to have jackets, aren't we?
-Hello. My name is Beatrice. Have you been here before?
-No.
-What we offer here is nude body to body contact on a bed in a private room. It's twenty dollars a half hour, thirty dollars an hour. Anything else you desire may be discussed in the privacy of your room. Tips are allowed. We accept Bank Americard, Master Charge and American Express.
-I don't really want... 'body to body contact.'
-No. I don't think so.
-You're not exactly the type we're looking for.
-You mean I'm black?
-No, just not the type.
-What do you mean, not the type? Don't you know who I am? I'm Big Dick Brown! I've been in more porno movies than you ever saw. I've worked with Harry Reems. I've worked with Johnny Wad. Not the type! I can come ten times a day. I can keep it hard two hours at a time. My cock is nine inches long.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Brown. I'm sure you're very good, but at the moment, I've got nothing for you. If something comes up, we'll give you a call.
-The boy your daughter was talking to didn't work at the park. We've interviewed everybody there.
-But is she, has...
-There's no evidence of any foul play at present. I hope she's just a runaway.
-There's something wrong here. Kristen is not the type of girl to just up and leave.
-I said I hope she's a runaway. Better that than she just disappears like so many others do. Sometimes they turn up years later, sometimes not. A lot of crimes go unreported, unknown. These are realities.
-What are you doing?
-Apparently your friend has gone into Mexico. A Border Guard responded to the APB. How does it feel to have the L.A.P.D. doing your work for you?
-You're going to thank me for this. You know what the media's like. They love this kinda shit. If that guy goes off half-cocked and gets himself hurt, you're going to have so much bad publicity, you...
-I heard you the first time. We had nothing to go on with this kid. Just a runaway. Do you really think he's in danger?
-If he has anything to say about it, yeah. I've been asking a lot of questions and I don't like the answers I'm getting. He's made a lot of people nervous, including some poor faggot who thought he was going to be a movie star.
-We aren't gonna arrest him for that...
-Big threat. TV would ream you.
-No.
-We offer Female Wrestling, that is, nude body to body contact, with a girl of your choice in a private room. Twenty dollars a half hour, thirty dollars hour. Any other arrangements may be discussed in the privacy of your room. Tipping is permitted. We accept Bank Americard, Master Charge and American Express.
-Yeah.
-Do you want to take a session?
-I just want to ask some questions.
-You may do that in the privacy of your room.
-Okay. I'll take a half hour.
-Do you have any particular choice of girl?
-You're still dressed?
-Well, I want to...
-There's a girl I want to ask you about.
-You're not Vice, are you? Do you work for the Los Angeles Police Department, or do you have any other affiliation with any law enforcement agency?
-No, I don't.
-Well, actually I wanted to ask about this girl. I have her picture here.
-Pull out your cock.
-What?
-No, Felice, I'm not a cop. In fact, right now I've got as little respect for the police as you do. I'm looking for a girl. A runaway. I need someone to help me.
-Are you going to stiff me?
-What do you mean?
-Look, that twenty dollars you just paid, I don't get any of that. That goes to the guys that own this place. I get two bucks an hour, minus ten percent for a bail fund. I make all my money on tips.
-You want a tip?
-Sure. What do you want? Tips can be anywhere from thirty dollars to seventy dollars.
-What do you mean?
-What do you want to tip me for? Look, you got to spell it out. Whatever you want, just say it.
-Now, what do you want?
-I said I just wanted to talk to you...
-That's cool.
-...about this woman. I'm trying to find her. Do you know her?
-I'm getting angry.
-Wait a minute, that's going to cost you more than forty bucks.
-Who is it? That blond guy? Where is he? I'm going to talk to someone.
-Wait?
-I'd like to place a 'Personals' ad in the Free Press.
-How many weeks?
-Just one.
-'Film Producer' -- that should be in caps, bold face.
-Okay.
-Hello. You want some information?
-Yeah.
-We offer...
-Yeah, yeah...
-...the disciplines: bondage, domination and humiliation.
-I'm looking for Tod. Is he in?
-I don't know no Tod.
-What girls you got here?
-My name is Hope. This is Faith. Charity's in back.
-That's all you got, three girls?
-Man, how many girls do you need?
-I was told there was a real nice girl here named Joanne. Quite young.
-Is this all the display space we can get?
-What do you think of this... ah, shade of blue, Mary.
-I like it, Mr. Van Dorn.
-Don't you think it's a little too... bright?
-Not really. But if you want me to tone it down...
-No, that would be much too overpowering.
-Yeah, overpowering. That was the word I was looking for.
-Mr. Van Dorn, I've worked on the color scheme for weeks. I think it's just right.
-What's that shade of blue called?
-Are you still going with that fella that teaches at Grand Valley?
-Sam?
-Yeah. He's a nice guy. Don't lose him. Maybe we could tone down this stripe a bit. It's a little...
-Overpowering?
-Yeah.
-Okay, Mr. Van Dorn, I think we could knock that Pavonine blue a bit.
-Are you sure it's all right?
-Yes. I think it'll look better.
-Kristen went on that convention today, didn't she?
-Are you the star of this picture?
-You kidding? Three days work. I finish tonight.
-The other girl is the star?
-She thinks so. What do you do?
-I work with Ramada. We're doing some pictures together.
-Are you Niki?
-Sure. Like in Mikey and Niki. Did you see that picture?
-No.
-It's your money. You talk.
-I'm making a film. Jim Sullivan's going to be in it. He said you might know where Tod is.
-Do I know you? Weren't you on the set the other night? With Ramada.
-Yeah.
-You making a feature?
-Um-hm. Live sound.
-Joanne?
-You know her?
-No. I saw her with Tod.
-Do you know where she lives?
-Nah.
-Where is she?
-Tod might know.
-Where's he?
-Last I heard he went to San Diego.
-If we went there, would you be able to find him?
-You're not a film producer, are you?
-Are you a private detective?
-Something like that. How much do you make?
-Here? What a joke. There was some detective asking about that girl.
-Three hundred?
-This is just temporary. I once made nine hundred in outcall.
-I'll give you $700 a week, cash, if you help me find this girl.
-Up front?
-Half now, half later.
-Make it nine hundred. That was my best week.
-Okay. My client pays for it anyway.
-When do we start?
-Tonight. When you get out, we'll go. Why didn't you tell the other detective?
-I thought you were going to bed?
-No.
-Huh?
-You have anything to drink? You want to go out and get something?
-I don't drink, but you can go out.
-You don't drink?
-You're not a private detective either, are you?
-No.
-I didn't think so. I've fucked detectives. Who are you?
-A friend.
-Of Joanne's?
-Yeah. I'm her father.
-Jesus.
-Her name is Kristen. She disappeared a couple of months ago.
-And your wife? Where's she?
-She's dead.
-You really shouldn't eat like that. All that sugar. It's not good for you.
-At least I'm a growing person.
-You won't keep growing at this rate.
-What rate?
-You know what I'm talking about.
-You never met a working girl before, have you? You think I like sucking off guys all night? Maybe I do. So what? You can't even say it, can you?
-Say what?
-'Sucking off.'
-Okay. Sucking off. Now does that make me as good as you?
-You don't understand shit.
-Okay, tell me. Why do you live like you do?
-Did you ever live in a room with six people and you didn't have any money, any food, any furniture? Have your brother come out, his car break down, he can't get a job? Your friends stealing food, going through trash behind a supermarket?
-Is that the way it was with you?
-Don't knock it. A girl can save up a lot money doing this -- big money. Then you're free. You can go off to Europe, meet somebody, get married. My girlfriend's going to buy her own beauty parlor. Not me. I'm gonna travel. 'Keep movin' that's my motto. Would you rather work at Copper Penny at a dollar-eighty an hour, having every two-bit cocksucker
-You used to work at Copper Penny?
-No.
-You and I, Niki, have very different ideas about sex.
-Why? Are you a sex fiend?
-No.
-Neither am I.
-But it's all you do.
-How important do you think sex is?
-Not very.
-I don't see why I must justify myself to you. I don't care about the things you do. I don't care what's happening in New York or Los Angeles. I don't care about movies or TV. I don't care who's on Johnny Carson.
-What do you care about?
-What's T-J?
-Tijuana.
-They were here?
-Tod was. He was with Ratan.
-What does that mean? What does he do?
-He deals in pain.
-You have to believe in something. What do they believe in -- the Whatjamacillit church?
-Christian Reformed. It's a Dutch Calvinist denomination.
-Do they believe in reincarnation? I believe in reincarnation.
-They believe in the 'TULIP.'
-What the crap?
-It's an anagram. It comes from the Canons of Dort. Every letter stands for a different belief. T-U-L-I-P. Like -- are you sure you're interested in this?
-Yeah, yeah, go on.
-T stands for Total depravity, that is, all men, through original sin, are totally evil and incapable of good. 'All my works are like filthy rags in the sight of the Lord.'
-Be that as it may. U is for Unconditional Election. God has chosen a certain number of people to be saved, The Elect, and He has chosen them from the beginning of time. L is for Limited Atonement. Only a limited number will be atoned, will go to Heaven.
-Fuck.
-I can stop if you want.
-I is for Irresistible Grace. God's grace cannot be resisted or denied. And P is for the Perseverance of the Saints. Once you are in Grace you cannot fall from the number of the elect. And that's the 'TULIP.'
-Wait, wait. I'm trying to figure this out. This is like Rona Barrett. Before you become saved, God already knows who you are?
-He has to. That's Predestination. If God is omniscient, if He knows everything -- and He wouldn't be God if He didn't -- then He must have known, even before the creation of the world, the names of those who would be saved.
-So it's already worked out. The fix is in?
-More or less.
-Wow. Then why be good? Either you're saved or you ain't.
-Out of gratitude for being chosen. That's where Grace comes in. God first chooses you, then allows you, by Grace, to choose Him of your own free will.
-You really believe all that?
-Yeah. Well, mostly.
-I thought I was fucked up.
-I'll admit it's confusing from the outside. You've got to see it from the inside.
-If you see anything from the inside it makes sense. You ought to hear perverts talk. A guy once almost had me convinced to let his dachshund fuck me.
-It's not quite the same thing.
-Tod'll meet you at the bookstore at Eddy and O'Farrell tomorrow noon. I told him you were a 'specialty' customer.
-Rot in hell, honey. He's busy now.
-Where does he live.
-I must have been in more motel rooms this week than in the rest of my life. At least it feels that way.
-I know what you mean. After a while they all look the same.
-They are the same.
-Do you live in a house back in wherever.
-Grand Rapids? Of course.
-Look, I really don't know your daughter but...
-But what?
-I wouldn't expect too much. I mean about her coming back. Once a girl gets into the life.
-What makes you so sure?
-Why do you say that?
-She left you right?
-Yeah. She was the one called Joanne. How'd you find that out?
-I don't blame you, Niki. Really I don't. It's this culture, where everything's based on sex, sold on sex... ...magazines, music, TV. It's destroying everything. Buy this 'cause of sex, use this 'cause of sex. Kids think it's normal. They think they're supposed to talk dirty, wear scanty clothes...
-Don't get upset. I lied too. I don't make no five hundred dollars a week. Everything I make goes to Granville.
-Granville?
-Look, Niki, this really isn't my business. I don't know anything about...
-Did you find out where she was?
-Tod gave me the slip. I have to find him again. Where does he live?
-What happened?
-Where is he?
-Listen, Niki. My daughter's been missing five months. I've gone through a lot to find out what's happened to her. I just saw a girl killed. I will not let Tod slip out of my hands. You have to tell me where he is.
-But then you'll forget about me.
-Those cops, like all cops, are intelligent enough, but they are masters of de-ductive reason. That is, you ask them what three and two are they'll tell you five, but if you ask them what five is, they go blank. That's spec-u-lative reasoning, and that's where I come in.
-Well, what do they know?
-Dogshit. Worse yet, they don't care.
-So then, Mr. Mast...
-Andy.
-...What do you have to offer?
-No, I didn't think she was. Let me get the picture here. Let me guess. She was an absolutely clean girl, a model daughter, she never had rebellious or impure thoughts, she didn't fuck around...
-If I was you, Mr. Mast, I'd watch my language.
-Hey, I'm a private detective, Van Dorn, you want to hire a choir boy you can go back to Grand Rapids. I've been to that scumbag town. It's full of them.
-Who's paying you?
-You are.
-That's right.
-As I was saying, I'll pick up the thread. There's a number of ways I can go. There's not much you can do here. Stay if you want. Maybe it'd be better if you went back home. Go through Kristen's personal stuff. Ask around, maybe she knew somebody out here. Look, I do this a lot. I work at a minimum rate of $750.00
-And better?
-Hello?
-Mr. Van Dorn?
-Mast?
-Yeah.
-Where are you? The connection sounds very good.
-I'm back in Grand Rapids.
-In G.R.? Why?
-Can you meet me in about an hour? At the Pantlind Hotel?
-I've got a meeting...
-What are you paying me for?
-This used to be a real city. I was here about fifteen years ago. Embezzlement case. It was always a little religious for my taste, but at least it was a city. With a downtown and all.
-What have you found out?
-I've got some news. Your daughter's all right. At least I think she is.
-Where is she?
-I don't know.
-What do you mean?
-Have you ever seen any, ah, pornographic movies, Jake?
-No.
-Do you know what a "hardcore" movie is?
-That's like a stag film.
-Yeah. You ever seen any of those?
-No.
-They're legal now.
-They are?
-Yeah. All over. Even here in Grand Rapids.
-Hmm.
-Where is she?
-I don't know.
-I bought it at a store in L.A.
-Who made it?
-I don't know.
-Wait. Slow down. A film like this, 16mm, cost two three hundred dollars, sold outright, shown in peep machines, maybe theatres, maybe not, is almost impossible to track. 'Nobody' makes it; 'nobody' shows it; 'nobody' sees it. It's like it doesn't even exist.
-What's it called?
-It was called 'Slave of Love' when I bought it. Next time it's sold, it'll be called something else.
-But the police...
-The police? They know less than you do.
-Do you think she's safe?
-Yeah. Probably.
-You like this, don't you. Showing me... this.
-I ain't cheated you, Pilgrim. This is research, damn it! That girl could have told us something.
-Oh, fuck off. You should stay where you belong.
-I'm only human, you know.
-Get out.
-But this is my apartment.
-What are you doing here?
-I felt like such a shit, pilgrim, after what I did to you -- not that I did anything wrong -- that I kept investigating, poking around. There's some poor s.o.b. in L.A. with his face all bent out of shape who you've damaged his movie career. Lucky for him, people don't look at his face.
-Do the police want to arrest me?
-Nah. They don't care about some faggot hustler. They're more interested in your daughter's health -- and yours. Like I am.
-Yeah, sure.
-Listen, pilgrim, you're way out on a limb here. You don't know what you're into.
-You sure as hell haven't been any help.
-I'm sorry about that. Have you found anything out? You've got to tell me.
-Why don't you tell me something for a change?
-Like what?
-Where'd you hear that name?
-You know, it's possible to buy anything on this earth. You can buy child whores, slaves. You can have people raped, killed... One of the men who supposedly arranges such things is named Ratan. He usually isn't in this country. How'd you hear about him?
-It's just a name.
-Don't do anything more. I'll find out what I can.
-Does she know anything about this?
-What happened, pilgrim?
-Just leave me alone.
-Andy, can you do something for her? Maybe money...
-You want to go for coffee after we send the girls off?
-No. Thanks anyway. I've got to get over to the office.
-What is it, Jake?
-What happened?
-Is Marsha there?
-Yeah. She's quite upset. I'm going to fly out today. They want me to bring some pictures.
-How's your business, Jake?
-Pretty good.
-Jake?
-How did you find me?
-Wes, do me a favor.
-What?
-Just do what I say. Don't ask.
-What is going on?
-I think I've found a way to find Kristen. I have a plan. But I have to be alone.
-What plan?
-You don't want to know. Now, Wes, leave, please. For me.
-What will I tell the others? They care about you.
-Hey man.
-We're casting for an explicit sex action feature...
-I know. Word's out on the street -- word's also out you ain't really hiring anyone.
-That's not true, Mr...?
-Jim Sullivan. Sometimes they call me Jism Jim.
-Oh yeah? I've done a lot of good stuff. Shorts, features. No major roles it's true. But good stuff.
-Oh yeah? I remember that. It was made by some college kids.
-It was called 'Slave of Love.'
-God, I don't know what it was called. I never saw it. I only got twenty- five bucks for the whole Goddamned thing.
-Hey, stop, stop. I'll do anything you want. It's okay. I can dig it. You can do anything you want to me.
-Where is she? Where is the girl?
-She's got a man. A white guy. Tod something or other.
-Where does he hang out?
-I don't know.
-Where!
-I hear you got money to spend. I hear you're interested in... interesting things.
-Yeah.
-Do you work for the San Francisco Police Department, or do you have any other affiliation with any law enforcement agency?
-No.
-What you got in mind?
-I want to meet Ratan.
-What is that? A kind of chair? I never heard of no Ratan.
-I was told that there were certain things that only Ratan could provide.
-You're talking about real excitement?
-Yeah. I heard you and Ratan just came from Mexico. And that you had a film of a girl being, ah you know...
-Who told you about this?
-Rucker.
-I don't know no Ratan, but I may be able to help you out. It's not me, of course. Just helping out a friend. It'll cost you five hundred bucks for a single screening.
-Is this with a girl named Kristen?
-Um-hm. You got the five hundred?
-Well...
-Take it or leave it.
-Okay.
-Meet me here today at seven o'clock. With the money. Then we'll go see the film.
-What do you want? Do I know you from somewhere?
-I want to know where my daughter is. Her name is Kristen, or Joanne. She's with you.
-You wait here. I'll find out where she is.
-Where's Ratan?
-That film was a fake! Everything's phony...
-Who the fuck knows? The Four Aces. He goes there.
-Fifty cents admission.
-What?
-Do you have a, ah, film called 'Slave of Love?'
-What we got is just these here. What you see.
-It's a short film.
-This is from the movie I was talking about.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-I wondered if you had ever seen this film or this woman... ...right here.
-That girl? No, never saw her. I don't know anybody.
-I'm just trying to find... Who owns this store?
-I don't know. Look, man, if you're looking for somebody maybe you ought to see the cops.
-But I...
-You don't want anything for your fifty cents?
-Here. Take your fifty cents back.
-That's all right.
-No. I walked up. Don't ride elevators.
-My secretary said you wanted to discuss a business proposition.
-Yes. I'm interested in financing an adult feature film. I was told you were the man to come to.
-I've got fifty thousand dollars to invest.
-Oh. Why is it that you want to get into film financing?
-Well, Bill -- mind if I call you Bill? Let me be frank. I've made a lot of money. I've got my own business in Detroit. Rivets. I make rivets and sell them to Fisher Body. Well, rivets, you know, can get pretty boring after a while. When my business manager told me I should shelter some money, I thought I'd try this.
-What exactly do you have in mind?
-I thought I'd invest in a film. I want to sort of become involved in the process of making a film, meet the people who make films, learn how it's done...
-In other words, you want to get laid?
-Not exactly...
-It's cool. Why do you think I got in the movies? How much poon do you think you get in the car wash business? Look, fifty thousand dollars buys a lot of pussy. You can get your joint pulled by beautiful girls every night for the rest of your life for fifty thousand dollars. So why fuck with the movie business?
-It's an investment.
-If you want to watch when we shoot a film, for fifty bucks, I let guys stand around and watch. It's a lot cheaper.
-I thought you were a businessman.
-Don't get me wrong. A couple years ago, I woulda jumped at fifty thousand dollars possible financing. But the Lord's been good to me. I can now finance any films I choose. Big ones, small ones. Right now we're setting up a two hundred thousand dollar feature film. Live sound. I like to keep my own money in my films. That way you don't
-Jake.
-...I'd just start my own business. That's what I did. Get into kid porn. That's big now. Why don't you come around the set? Meet some people. If you still want to invest, I'll ask around.
-Sounds all right.
-I got a picture here. I want you to tell me where to find this woman. I been asking everybody. Nobody knows anything.
-Calm down, mister. You don't want to get the cops in here do you? You got a family?
-I don't suppose you've ever seen this girl before either? Her name's Kristen, but I suppose you've never seen her?
-Why don't you just go outdoors, mister? Cool off.
-Hold it, mister.
-You going to Knott's Berry Farm with him?
-He asked me. You going with anybody?
-I don't know.
-You ever play Chicken?
-What's that?
-You never heard of that?
-Com'on, tell me.
-What does that do?
-Ssh. I'm on a stakeout.
-I'm staking out this beer bottle. Trying to find out if I'll finish it or it'll finish me.
-I'm worried about Jake.
-I'm off that case. He fired me.
-He didn't look good at all. Something strange is going on. He's got himself into some trouble. He wouldn't say what.
-I want to rehire you. To find out what's happening to my brother-in- law.
-I've been on another case. All day. I suppose I can move it over. Seven fifty a week, plus travel expenses.
-Maybe. Maybe not.
-I also want you to protect my brother- in-law.
-Huh?
-You have to understand. He can be mean, self-righteous. He had a Vishund once. Loved that dog. He came home one day and the dog bit him. He took that dog and staked him out in the back yard. It was winter. Every day he came home and watched that dog until he froze. He's capable of doing anything.
-To his own daughter?
-You know Granville's looking for you, Niki?
-My name ain't Niki. It's Pattica, like in Attica.
-Granville's looking for you anyway.
-Who's that?
-The guy who bought you that ring.
-You can fuck off, too.
-You're taking a big chance.
-I ain't ever gonna see him again anyway.
-Jake'll take care of me.
-Hey, piss-head, what brings you around?
-You don't have to get uppity with me, Bill. I remember when you was running that car wash and couldn't make it go. And what was that other thing you tried? A Dairy Queen? Went busted too.
-I want you to take a look at this girl here. She's been in some porn stuff.
-No, Andy. Don't know the kid.
-Look again, Billy-boy. This is jail bait. Could get you in a lotta trouble.
-You remember me. Louise? Rhymes with squeeze.
-You working in San Diego now?
-I'm still in L.A., but I'm looking for Tod. I heard he was around.
-'Was.' He and that shitheel Ratan went down to T-J. Maybe I shouldn't say that. Anyway, I hear he's back in Frisco now.
-Was he with a girl?
-No.
-Hello, I'm Candy Gulf.
-You are at the University, Candy?
-Yes, I am.
-And what are you studying?
-Poli. Sci. With a home ec minor.
-Eh, Poli Sci?
-He seems very nice. Is Harold interested in, eh, what's going on? I think it's such a super thing to study. And then, of course, I can always fall back on home ec.
-I think I should mention, Candy, that Harold does have his eccentric moments.
-Lady, you were going 70 miles an hour in a 45-mile zone. Could I see your license, please?
-Yes. Those little pieces of paper with your picture on it?
-Yes.
-Oh, I don't have one.
-Come again.
-I don't have one. I don't believe in them.
-How long have you been driving?
-About forty-five minutes, wouldn't you say, Harold? We were hoping to start sooner but, you see, it's rather hard to find a truck.
-Could I see your registration?
-I just don't think we have one, unless it's in the glove compartment. Could you look, Harold?
-Isn't this your vehicle?
-No, no. I just took it.
-Took it?
-Yes. You see I have to plant my tree.
-Your tree.
-Well, it's not really mine. I dug it up in front of the courthouse. We're transplanting it. Letting it breathe, you know. But, of course, we would like to get it into soil, as soon as possible.
-Lady, let me get this straight.
-Okay, lady. Out.
-Haven't we met before?
-None of that, lady.
-Oh, well. Must have been your brother.
-But there is a family resemblance.
-You too, Buster. Stand over here. Lady, you're in a heap of trouble. I have you down here for several violations; speeding, resisting arrest, driving without a license, driving a stolen vehicle, possession of a stolen tree... Where's the tree?
-We planted it.
-Is this your shovel?
-No.
-Possession of a stolen shovel.
-Officer, I can explain.
-Lady, resisting arrest is a serious criminal offense. Under the state criminal code, section 545, paragraph 10-B...
-Oh, don't get officious. You're not yourself when you're officious. That's the curse of a government job.
-Lady, is it true you're driving without a license?
-Check.
-And that truck - is it registered in your name?
-Oh no! Not in <u>my</u> name.
-Then whose name is it registered in?
-Well, I don't know. Do you know, Harold?
-Where are the papers?
-I suppose they are in the truck. Are you going to take a lot of time with this?
-Wait here.
-Because if you are...
-This way, Edith. Harold is out by the garage. He has a new car and he has been tuning it up. He's very mechanical.
-Oh. It looks like a hearse. Very nice. Compact.
-Edith, I'd like you to meet my son, Harold. Harold, this is Edith... eh?
-And what do you do, my dear?
-I'm a file clerk - Harrison Feed and Grain.
-How interesting.
-Not very.
-Oh. Well, what is it exactly that you do?
-Edith was just telling me about her job.
-I'm a file clerk.
-Yes. Henderson Feed and Grain.
-Harrison. Harrison Feed and Grain... At Hamilton and Fourth... I'm in charge of the invoices... And I type up the schedule for the trucking fleet...
-She supplies the whole southwest with chicken feed.
-What do you want?
-Sorry I'm late.
-A rather free translation but nonetheless correct. Greetings to you too, my little one. Tell me, what do you see?
-A block of ice.
-Exactly! Now, ask me what I see.
-What do you see?
-Here's your shovel.
-Eh, no. Thank you.
-You're welcome. Did you know him?
-Eh, no.
-Me neither. I heard he was eighty years old. I'll be eighty next week. A good time to move on, don't you think?
-I don't know.
-It's a question of emphasis, you might say. Accentuate the positive, so to speak.
-Eh, could I have my pen back now, please?
-Oh, of course. What is your name?
-Harold Chasen.
-How do you do? I am Dame Marjorie Chardin, but you may call me Maude.
-Nice to meet you.
-Can I drop you anywhere, Harold?
-No, thank you. I have my car.
-Do you dance?
-What?
-Do you sing and dance?
-Eh, no.
-Yes.
-Oh, so do I. They're such fun, aren't they? It's all change. All revolving. Burials and births. The end to the beginning and the beginning to the end - - the great circle of life. My, this old thing handles well. Ever drive a hearse, Harold?
-Yes.
-Well, it's a new experience for me. Good on curves. Shall I take you home, Harold?
-But this is my car.
-Your hearse?
-Yearse!
-Of course, I've had to make some additions for the new models, but not as many as you might think. Once you have your basic set it's then only a question of variation.
-And you get into any car you want and just drive off?
-Not <u>any</u> car. I like to keep a variety. I'm always looking for the new experience, like this one. I liked it.
-Thank you. But when you take these cars don't you think you are wronging the owners?
-What owners, Harold? We don't <u>own</u> anything. It's a transitory world. We come on the earth with nothing, and we go out with nothing, so isn't "ownership" a little absurd?
-Still, I think you'd upset people and I'm not sure that's right.
-It's all memorabilia, but incidental and not integral, if you know what I mean.
-It's very interesting.
-She's very sweet, but so old- fashioned. Please sit down, Harold. I'll put on the kettle and we'll have a nice hot cup of tea.
-Thank you, but I really have to go.
-But it's oat straw tea. You've never had oat straw tea, have you?
-No.
-Thank you, but it's an appointment. I really shouldn't miss it.
-Oh, at the dentist's?
-Sort of.
-Well, then, you must come back and visit.
-All right.
-My door is always open.
-All right.
-Harold?
-How about some ginger pie?
-Eh, fine.
-I'll heat some up. My, it's nice to see you again, Harold. How's your hearse?
-Oh, it's fine. Fine.
-Do you often model for Glaucus?
-Heavens no! I don't have the time. But I like to keep in practice and poor Glaucus occasionally needs his memory refreshed as to the contours of the female form. Do you disapprove?
-Me! No. Of course not.
-Really. Do you think it's wrong?
-No.
-A self-portrait. But over here is my favorite. It's titled "Rainbow with Egg Underneath and an Elephant." Do you like it?
-Yes. Very much.
-Now I'll pump it up... ... and you just turn the handles. Okay. What do you smell?
-Subways... Perfume... Cigarette... ... Cologne... Carpet... Chestnuts! ... <u>Snow!</u>
-It goes on and on.
-What do you think?
-Oh. Eh, I like it.
-Here we are, Harold. Oat straw tea and ginger pie.
-Certainly a new experience for me.
-You look as if you could.
-Me. Ha! Did I tell you I'll be eighty on Saturday?
-You don't look eighty.
-That's the influence of the right food, the right exercise, and the right breathing. Greet the dawn with the Breath of Fire! Of course, there's no doubt the body is giving out. I'm well into autumn. I'll have to be giving it all up after Saturday. Sweeten the tea with honey, Harold. It's delicious.
-That's a nice teapot.
-Well, it's all very thrilling, of course, but I ask you, Harold... Is it enough?
-I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. They are so <u>tall</u> and simple. And you, Harold, what flower would you like to be?
-Why do you say that?
-Because they are all the same.
-Boy, Maude. The way you handle cars. I'd never handle a car like that.
-The universal language of mankind. What music do you like, Harold?
-What happened?
-Look.
-What?
-Over there by the courthouse.
-What is it?
-Look at it, Harold. It's suffocating. It's the smog. People can live with it, but it gives trees asthma. They can't breathe. See the leaves are all brown. Harold, we've got to do something about this life.
-But what?
-We'll transplant it. To the forest.
-But we can't just dig it up!
-Why not?
-But this is public property.
-Don't you think we should get some tools, maybe?
-Yes, you're right. We'll go see Glaucus. Come on.
-Oh, my. We're too late.
-Is he all right?
-We'll come back in the morning.
-What is that he's working on?
-An ice sculpture. It's Venus - the Goddess of Love, the completion of which is his unfulfilled dream.
-It is kind of rough.
-He's never finished one yet. He has around him every kind of hand tool known to man, but the poor dear has difficulty staying awake.
-Look, the ice is melting.
-A little after-dinner liqueur, Harold?
-Well, I really don't drink...
-Thank you.
-Some nuts? Some licorice? It has no nutritional value but then consistency is not really a human trait.
-What's that?
-My umbrella? Oh, that's just a relic. I found it when I was packing to come to America. It used to be my defense on picket lines and rallies and political meetings - being dragged off by police or attacked by thugs of the opposition. A long time ago.
-What were you fighting for?
-No.
-No more revolts.
-Oh, yes! Every day. But I don't need a defense anymore. I embrace! Still fighting for the Big Issues but now in my small, individual way. Shall we have a song?
-Well, I don't...
-Oh, that was fun. Let's play something together.
-But I don't play anything.
-Okay?
-I think he's following us.
-He's stopped.
-There. Oh, I like the feel of soil, don't you? And the smell. It's the earth. "The earth is my body. My head is in the stars." Who said that?
-I don't know.
-Oh, those motorcycles are awfully chilly.
-I <u>think</u> I see it.
-The ice is melting.
-Yes.
-Don't you think we should turn off the heat?
-I like Glaucus.
-Yes, so do I. But I think he is a little... old-fashioned. Like a puff, Harold?
-Well, I really don't smoke.
-It's all right. It's organic.
-I'm sure picking up on vices.
-Vice? Virtue? It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. As Confucius says, "Don't simply be good. Make good things happen."
-Did Confucius say that?
-Well -- - they say he was very wise, so I'm sure he must have.
-You are the wisest person I know.
-Me! When I look around me I know I know nothing. I remember though, once long ago in Persia, we met a wise man in the bazaar. He was a professional and used to sell his wisdom to anyone willing to pay. His specialty for tourists was a maxim engraved on the head of a pin. "The wisest," he said, "the truest, the most
-Yes. I haven't lived. I've died a few times.
-What was that?
-Died! Seventeen times - not counting maiming. Shot myself in the face once with a popgun and a pellet of blood.
-How ingenious! Tell me about them.
-Well, it's a question of timing, and the right equipment, and plenty of patience... You really want to hear about this?
-Of course.
-Yes. I understand. A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead really. They're just backing away from life. They're players - but they sit on the bench. The game goes on before them. At any moment they can join in. Reach out! Take a chance! Get hurt maybe. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me
-I like you, Maude.
-Look at that sky. It's so big.
-It's so blue.
-And beyond the blue is the blackness of the cosmos.
-Spreckled with uncountable stars. The stars are shining right now. We just can't see them. Just another instance of all that's going on that is beyond human perception.
-Maude, do you pray?
-Pray? No. I communicate.
-With God?
-This is really nice. Makes me feel like a kid. I want to do somersaults .
-Well, why don't you?
-No. I'd feel stupid.
-Want to join me in some cartwheels?
-No. I feel more like - yodeling.
-It's sinking, Harold. Going over the horizon - where we are all going to go. It's getting dark. "Let each man hold on to his candle and get a light where'er he can."
-Where's that?
-From the guys who got the matches, of course.
-Oh, Harold. You make me feel like a schoolgirl.
-Shall I drop by tomorrow? Oh, I have a luncheon date. With this girl.
-Oh.
-I've never met her. My mother set it up.
-Maude, I must speak to you.
-What is it, Harold?
-They're going to draft me. In the Army. I'm going to be sent away.
-But they can't do that. You haven't even got the vote.
-But they have.
-But they'll put me in jail.
-They'd put you in jail, eh? Well, historically you'd be in very good company. That's what my husband used to say when we were in the French Underground dealing with the Gestapo. Would you like to do a little raking? Work, I'm told, done with no selfish interest, purifies the mind. You sink your separate self and become one with the universal self. On
-Maude, do you think you can help me?
-Don't you talk to me like that, you little foul mouth degenerate! Really, sir, I thought that you at least...
-Don't you advance on me.
-Just like this.
-Give me that. I'm going to throw it in the sewer where it belongs.
-That wasn't very scary.
-No. It had nothing on this afternoon.
-Oh, you weren't scared.
-Scared? Swimming underwater with that oxygen device of yours. I was petrified.
-How about some candy floss?
-You sure have a way with people.
-Look at the stars.
-Yes. They're old friends.
-Do you think there is any life up there?
-I don't know. Perhaps.
-Science thinks there isn't. That we are all alone in the universe.
-We <u>are</u> alone - you and me and everybody. But we can look at those stars and maybe someone down the beach or across the sea in China is looking at them, too. Someone we don't know and most likely will never see - that someone is breathing along with us. And the star- gazers of the past - from peasant to princes -
-You should have been a poet.
-- end where I began.
-Maude.
-Yes.
-Why are there no photographs in these frames?
-I took them out.
-Why?
-They mocked me. They were representations of people I dearly loved yet they knew these people were gradually fading from me, and that in time all I would have left would be vague feelings - but sharp photographs! So I tossed them out. My memory fades, I know. But I prefer pictures made by me with feeling, and not by Kodak with silver nitrate.
-It looks like you. Thanks.
-Harold, that picture is almost twenty-five years old.
-I was remembering how much this meant to me. It was after the war... I had nothing... except my life. How different I was then - and yet how the same.
-You've never cried before. I never thought you would. I thought, despite anything, you could always be happy.
-Supper for two.
-Oh, you've thought of everything. And champagne.
-It's all right. It's organic.
-Oh, Harold.
-... which I hope will make you very happy.
-Oh, I am happy, Harold. Ecstatically happy. I couldn't imagine a lovelier farewell.
-Farewell?
-Why yes. It's my eightieth birthday.
-But you're not going anywhere, are you?
-Oh, Harold! What a fuss this is. So unnecessary.
-Maude, please. Don't die. I couldn't bear it. Please, don't die.
-But, Harold, we begin to die as soon as we are born. What is so strange about death? It's no surprise. It's part of life. It's change.
-But why now?
-I feel giddy.
-But Maude, you don't understand. I love you. Do you hear me? I've never said that to anyone in my life before. You're the first. Maude. Please don't leave me.
-Oh, Harold, don't upset yourself so.
-It's true. I can't live without you.
-"And this too shall pass away."
-Never! Never! I'll never forget you. I wanted to marry you. Don't you understand! I love you. I love you!
-Chardin. Dame Marjorie. But you may call me Maude.
-Please, don't you realize? She is dying.
-Of course, Harold's father had a similar sense of the absurd. I remember once in Paris he stepped out for cigarettes and the next I hear he's arrested for floating nude down the Seine - experimenting in river currents with a pair of yellow rubber water wings. Well, that cost quite a little bit of "enfluence" and "d'argent" to hush up, I can tell
-I have a sore throat.
-Mother.
-Not now, Harold... You can't put me down for Monday?
-Mother.
-Harold, please! I'm on the phone.
-Mother. I'm going to get married.
-Fay, I'll call you back. What did you say?
-I'm getting married.
-To whom?
-I suppose you think this is very funny, Harold.
-What?
-Love? Love? What do you <u>know</u> about her? Where does she come from? Where did you meet her?
-At a funeral.
-Oh... That's wonderful... I get an eighty-year-old pallbearer for a daughter-in-law! Be reasonable, Harold! You're dealing with your life! What will people say?!
-I don't care what people say.
-I'm going to marry the woman I love.
-This is insane.
-How do you do?
-Would you like a cigarette?
-Is Sunshine your real name?
-Do you play?
-No. I'm learning the banjo. Do you?
-Oh, is this your father?
-No. My uncle.
-This one is particularly interesting. It's a hari-kari blade.
-Ohhh. What's hari-kari?
-An ancient Japanese ceremony.
-Like a tea ceremony?
-Tell me, Harold, how many of these, eh, suicides have you performed?
-An accurate number would be difficult to gauge.
-And why is that?
-Well, some worked out better than others - some had to be abandoned in the planning stages - do you include the first time? - then there's the question of maiming...
-Just give me a rough estimate.
-Well, a rough estimate... I'd say fifteen.
-Fifteen.
-A rough estimate.
-And were they all done for your mother's benefit?
-I wouldn't say "benefit."
-I don't think I'm getting through to Mother like I used to.
-Does that worry you?
-Yes. It does.
-Why?
-I put a lot of effort into these things.
-Ah, yes.
-And a lot of time.
-I'm sure. But what else do you do with your time? Do you go to school?
-No.
-What about the draft?
-My mother spoke to my Uncle Victor. He's in the Army and he fixed it up.
-Oh. Well, how do you spend your day?
-You mean when I'm not working on a...
-I see. Junkyards. What is the fascination there?
-I don't know.
-Is it the machines? The noise? The people?
-No. It's the junk. I like to look at junk.
-That's very interesting, Harold, and I think very illuminative. There seems to be a definite pattern emerging. Your fondness for useless machines and demolitions seems indicative of your present emotional state, your self-destructive urges and your alienation from the regular social interaction. What do you think? And of course this pattern once isolated can be coped with. Recognize the problem and you are half
-Harold?
-Huh?
-You don't seem to be listening. I asked do you have any friends?
-No.
-None at all?
-Well, maybe one.
-Would you care to talk about this friend?
-No.
-Is this a friend you had when you were away at school?
-No.
-I see. Were you happy at school, Harold?
-Yes.
-You liked your teachers?
-Yes.
-Your classmates?
-Yes.
-Your studies?
-Yes.
-Then why did you leave?
-We are not relating today, Harold. I sense a definite resistance. A lack of true and helpful communication. I find you a very interesting case, Harold, but this reluctance of yours is detrimental to the psycho-analytical process, and can only hinder the possibility of effective treatment. Do you understand?
-Yes.
-I see. Tell me, Harold, do you remember your father at all?
-No. I'd have liked to.
-Why?
-I'd have liked to talk to him.
-What would you say?
-I'd show him my hearse. And my room, and stuff.
-Good idea of yours to come out here, Harold. It's a lovely spot.
-Thank you, Uncle.
-Call me "sir," Harold. First thing you learn in the Army - an officer deserves your respect.
-Yes, sir.
-Let's examine the facts on it. I say this country has been too harsh in its outright condemnation of war. I say you can point to many material advantages brought about by a crisis and conflict policy. Hell, World War II gave us the ballpoint pen. That's common knowledge.
-During wartime the national suicide rate goes down.
-Is that a fact? Well, that fits in right along with everything I've been saying. War is not all black.
-And so I ask you - why the hell did we give up on the Germans? Those damn politicians in Washington chalked them up on our side and the wars ever since have been a national disgrace. Hell, look at history. The two best wars this country has fought were against the Jerries. Now I say, get the Krauts on the other side of
-They came at me from all sides, hundreds of 'em. We kept firing - Zat-Tat-Tat-Tat! "Throw the grenades," I shouted. "Mac, throw the grenades!" "He's dead," Joe said, and kept right on feeding me bullets. Zat-Tat-Tat-Tat! They kept falling, but they kept coming. Bullets whizzing all around me. Zot! Joe falls back with a neat red hole in his head. I thought I was
-Jeez! That's a great story,
-Well, you'll soon have stories like that to tell of your own.
-You think so, sir?
-Sure. Be able to tell your children. Something for them to look up to. Be proud of.
-I hope so, sir. Golly I never knew it could be so exciting.
-It's the greatest excitement in the world.
-To pit your own life against another.
-That's right.
-To kill. The taste of blood in your mouth.
-The moment of truth.
-Another man's life in your sights.
-Yes.
-Will they really teach me to shoot?
-Oh, sure. A variety of weapons.
-And to use the bayonet? PACHOIE!
-Oh sure.
-How about hand-to-hand combat?
-Yes.
-To strangle someone. Choke him. Squeeze out his life between your hands.
-Eh?
-How about to slit his throat?
-Well, I don't...
-I'd like that. You could see the blood squirt out.
-Harold, I think you're getting carried away here.
-Sir, how about souvenirs?
-Souvenirs?
-Of your kill - ears, nose, scalp, privates.
-Harold!
-Boy, to think I could maybe make my own.
-Parasite!
-Harold!
-Harold, calm down! This is...
-Stay where you are, Harold .
-Good afternoon, Officer. Bit of trouble here?
-Yes, ma'am. Somebody had some trouble parking.
-Well, it's a tricky turn.
-Eh, yes, ma'm.
-Tell me -- -- is that car parked all right?
-Oh yes. That's fine.
-Ah! There you are, madam. Were not you the lady who drove my car off yesterday?
-Was that the one with the St. Christopher medal on the dashboard?
-Yes.
-Were you also the one who painted the statues?
-Oh, yes. How did you like that?
-Well, I didn't.
-Oh, don't be too discouraged. For aesthetic appreciation - always a little time.
-Oh, Kirsty; so eager to play, so reluctant to admit it.
-It's different for us.
-We've always been here.
-Oh. No Boxes. Such a shame.
-No more delays, Kirsty. No more teasing. Time to play.
-Well, well. All my family together again. How very sweet.
-Julia.
-Frank.
-I knew you'd come.
-You knew?
-Yes. You're a girl who remembers her promises.
-Oh, right. Daddy's died and gone to heaven, eh?
-Yes!
-See? He's here. You should learn to believe your Uncle Frank.
-No! He SHOULDN'T be here! It SHOULD'VE been a trick!
-He... he loved me.
-Daddy! Daddy! I love you! Help me!
-Yes... Yes. You look...
-Surreal? Strange? Nightmarish?
-It's a beautiful dress...
-She's done it.
-She certainly has.
-It's coming.
-I want to go back!
-I knew you'd come back.
-So... You're Kirsty, huh?
-Sad, huh? She's been here six months. Her name's TIFFANY.
-What's the matter with her?
-Almost complete withdrawal. She hasn't said a word for nearly two years.
-God, that's terrible.
-I... I had a visitor.
-What?
-Oh, Jesus. I can't explain. It's... it's. I don't know how to help! I have to save him and I don't know how to help!
-Kirsty, I'm sorry... don't understand. I...
-Help. No, no-one can help. I just want someone to listen or I WILL go crazy.
-No bad dreams.
-Well, the sofa isn't often used for sleeping on...
-And you're sure it was a woman?
-Don't worry about it. Your attitude sucks anyway.
-The box. I need the box.
-What?
-The Boxes. In the House. I told you.
-What do you mean?
-The boxes! I TOLD you.
-You DIDN'T tell me. Do you mean Malahide's got...
-Get out of the way.
-Are you crazy?
-I don't know, Kyle. You're the fucking expert. Now get out of the way!
-WHY?
-O.K. Let's go.
-Kyle, you don't have...
-I have to go back. Or it'll never stop.
-What are you talking...
-I've got to finish it.
-I'm scared.
-Well... G'bye.
-But I didn't open it! I didn't!
-Then why are you here?
-But it's true, he is his own Hell. Just as you are in yours.
-Wait!
-No more deals, Kirsty. It's your flesh we want to experience, not your skill at bargaining.
-No deals! Just information. Information. Free of charge. No strings. Just information.
-What is this? Someone else you think escaped us, like Frank?
-No, No, this one didn't escape. You told me you'd always been in Hell. You were wrong. Look at it. LOOK. IT'S YOU.
-Nonsense, I...
-I... remember.
-Where am I?
-You're in the Malahide Institute. It's a psychiatric hospital. But, hey, don't feel judged -- it was just the nearest place to bring you. Remember? You and your boyfriend...?
-Steve...
-What was it, kid? Smack? Angel dust? Don't tell me acid's back in fashion?
-What are you talking about? Who are you?
-I thought Steve had talked to you?
-He talked about Demons, huh?
-What the hell are you asking me for? Tag it. Move it.
-Easy, easy. Whatever happened, whatever you saw, it's not here now.
-I saw it... him. But I got away. And I took the box. And I solved it. And they came.
-Who?
-I need to touch it to "see"...
-See what??
-The past, the future, whatever this object holds.
-Is he serious??
-They were over here, Professor.
-Look at them ugly suckers, Blue. One sheet of glass between them and us.
-Story of my life.
-I break it, they see us, Happy Halloween. No more hiding. Outside. I could be outside --
-Don't get psychic with me.
-How am I ever gonna get a girl?? I drive around in a garbage truck
-Liz left us, Red. Take the hint.
-Would'ya look at this babies? Made 'em myself. Holy water, silver shavings, white oak: the works.
-Hey. Stinky. Kitchen's closed. Whatcha havin'? Six library guards, raw? Plus belts and boots? Man, you're gonna need some heavy fiber to move that out --
-Nah -- he's taken care of.
-You were burned by some organic acid.
-Red. How long was it latched onto you?
-Touched you five seconds. Laid three eggs.
-Remind me why I keep doing this.
-Rotten eggs and the safety of mankind.
-That's all for you, Sammy.
-hound of resurrection --
-See? I don't like that --
-harbinger of pestilence, seed of destruction --
-Skip to the end, willya? How do I kill it -- ?
-This is an important mission, Sgt. Whitman. I hope you realize that.
-Sgt. Whitman!! Sgt. Whitman!! May I have a word??
-What is it?
-You are a Catholic??
-Here. You'll need one of these.
-I abhor violence. Sergeant Whitman, I hope you don't think me mad --
-You're wasting our time: There's nothing on this island but sheep and rocks.
-Ruins. Not rocks. The remains of Trondham Abbey. Built on an intersection of Ley Lines, the boundaries between our world and the other --
-What a load of crap. Hell, a week ago I hadn't even heard the word parabnormal --
-"Paranormal" But -- you read the transmission.
-Half transmission. Nonsense -- German ghost stories!
-I have seen ghosts, Whitman.
-The freak in the gas mask --
-If he's here, this is worse than I thought.
-Cordon off the area. Something came through.
-It's almost over!!
-Do you believe in hell?
-There is a place -- a dark place where evil slumbers and awaits to return. From there it infects our dreams. Our thoughts. Grigory gave us a glance tonight --
-Grigory -- That's Russian, right? Thought they were on our side...
-Grigory Yefimovich Rasputin --
-C'mon -- Rasputin??
-Spiritual advisor to the Romanovs. In 1916, at a dinner in his honor, he was poisoned, shot, stabbed, clubbed, drowned and castrated.
-What the hell was that? An ape?
-It's got a big stone -- in its hand --
-Every time the media get a look at him, they come to me. I'm running out of lies, Trevor.
-I thought you liked being on TV.
-I do. How many escapes? This year alone: five!
-Tom -- he's our guest, not a prisoner.
-Your "guest" happens to be six foot five, bright red, and is government funded.
-These freaks, Trevor, they give me the creeps. And I'm not the only one. You're up for review. You and your petting zoo.
-A 16th century statue was destroyed. Saint Dionysius the Aeropagite.
-Who wards off demons.
-Smuggled into this country by an overzealous curator. The statue, however, was hollow --
-Reliquary --
-Son. About Rasputin --
-Don't worry. I'll get him soon enough --
-Listen to me. This time is different. There's more at stake than ever before.
-How hard can it be? I punched the crap out of that thing that he sent -- ouch!!
-I worry about you.
-Me?? C'mon --
-Well, I won't be around forever, you know?
-Don't look! Turn around.
-How many buildings does she have to burn? She belongs here!
-It's her choice -- She's human --
-They took his name from this little inscription that was stuck on his tank.
-Icthyo Sapiens, April 14, 1865.
-How does he know so much about me?
-Abe possesses a unique frontal lobe. "Unique." That's a word you'll hear quite a bit around here.
-Where am I -- exactly, Sir?
-As you entered the lobby there was an inscription --
-On the desk, yes. In Latin.
-Impressive. Do you remember what it said?
-"In absentia luci, tenebrae vinciunt..."
-1958, the occult war finally ends when Adolf Hitler dies.
-1945, you mean. Hitler died in '45.
-I'm in way over my head, I know that much.
-And as a father, I worry about him. In medieval stories, Agent Myers, there's often a young knight, inexperienced but pure of heart...
-Who's the squirt?
-Agent Myers is your new liaison.
-Got tired of me?
-I don't want him.
-Well, you did break out --
-I wanted to see her. It's nobody's business.
-It is. You got yourself on TV again.
-"Myers", huh? You have a first name??
-Hey, hey, hey. They're playing our song.
-We're on the move.
-At nineteen hundred hours an alarm tripped. B&E. Robbery. Six guards dead --
-C'mon, champ. You look a little woozy, there.
-They're not speaking. Professor Broom had him grounded.
-Grounded? Who's grounded?
-He gets fed six times a day. He's got a thing for cats. You'll be his nanny, his keeper, his best friend. He never goes out unsupervised --
-Oh, Jesus!! Hellboy -- ?? Is real --
-Uh-oh -- John. Staring at what?
-His horns. He files 'em. To "fit in."
-Sir, may I go first??
-That voice --
-I sang the first lullaby you ever heard, my child. I ushered you into this world. I alone know your true calling, your true name.
-She's dead.
-Names hold the power and nature of things. Mine for example. Rasputin: "The crossroads." And crossroads I have become. Your true name: Anung-un-Rama. Repeat it. Become the key.
-You will never fulfill your destiny. You will never understand the power inside you.
-But not everyone was so lucky. Two agents died today. Clay probably won't survive the night. You're reckless.
-I knew those men better than you did --
-No, it doesn't make it right, but I stopped that creature, didn't I?
-That's what you do. That's why we need you. You have an insight. You know monsters.
-What are you trying to say?
-In the end, after you've killed and captured every freak out there -- there's still one left: you.
-"One falls, two shall arise." So: you pop one, two come out. You kill two, you get four. You kill four, you're in trouble. We have to nail 'em all at once. And the eggs.
-We've installed a very handy timer. Set it, walk away. Cable pulls the safety pins, K-boom! Easy to clean, easy to use...
-Those things never work. Never.
-Each of us gets a belt.
-We should go back -- you -- you could tear that door apart --
-Don't move. We --
--- should go back. Now!
-No. Don't --
-You'd better stay here. I'll find a way out. We'll come back for you.
-You call that thing a cigar??
-Yup.
-Thank you.
-You're kidding --
-Oh. Uh. Hello. I -- I have these. For you.
-Whatcha looking at, John??
-Helping you -- I just --
-Myers??? How's your arm?
-I just fried Stinky. Tell Father I'll be home. He shouldn't wait up.
-Wait -- Wait -- You can't go anywhere -- I gotta go with you --
-No, no, no, it's fine: I do my job, I take a break.
-No. Stop. Don't do this -- Listen to me -- Tell me where you are --
-Myers?
-Yes?
-What took you so long?
-C'mon, time to go home. Tape you up.
-What are you, a Boy Scout?
-No. I never was.
-You want me to hold him down?
-Down there. Did you ever loose track of him?
-Mmmh -- "Pamcakes." We're going out --
-Professor, that girl you were talking about --
-Hey. You: think twice --
-I think I can help -- Talk to her -- I can bring her back.
-What was that??
-Where do you --
-Myers, you're a talker. What's a good word -- a solid word for "need" --
-"Need" is a good, solid word.
-Nah, sounds too "needy."
-Hey, your chili's getting cold --
-Anything else you --
-Not from you.
-Well good n-
-Are you sure about this?
-Keep her safe. No matter what. I'll deal with whatever's back there.
-Alone?
-You better have that looked at.
-We miss you at the Bureau. Abe's crazier every day. And Father's still mad at me -- Come back, Liz. Come back. I --
-Goodnight, then.
-Um... Liz -- I -- there's something I'd like you to -- something I need you to hear.
-Well. Is it long?? I'm going out, but --
-Out? Out out?
-For a cup of coffee, but go ahead, read.
-You're going alone?
-It's nothing. Just a list -- It's not finished --
-Hi.
-But I understand what you don't like about me. I do. What I am makes you feel out of place -- out there --
-Red, I --
-Listen. I'm not like Myers. He makes you feel like you belong. And -- that's good. It really is. I -- wish I could do something about this -- But I can't. I can promise you only two things... One: I'll always look this good. Two: I won't give up on you. Ever.
-I like that...
-Okay, someone's expecting us. Turn on your locators -- Anyone sees anything...
-Marco...
-Liz -- can I call you Liz? It's a beautiful name --
-60% OF THE WOMEN IN THIS WORLD ARE NAMED "LIZ".
-Dr. Broom asked me to invite you back to the Bureau. No special precautions, no security escorts. You and me in a taxi. Like regular folks.
-Doesn't sounds like him.
-I admire him. He's a force of nature.
-He's just pushy.
-No... He's determined. Unstoppable --
-Cocky.
-Strong.
-A brute.
-He -- loves you.
-I know.
-What about you?
-It's freezing, isn't it?
-But it's not true, is it?
-What -- ?
-That you feel that way about me.
-Hit me.
-Hello, I'm --
--- Late. Five minutes late.
-Yes, I --
--- Section fifty-one. Step back.
-Pardon?
-Wait! Wait! Watch the fucking paint work.
-Look, do you want the bed in or not?
-Just take it slowly.
-Christ!
-What's the problem?
-You fucking ass-holes.
-It's my lucky day.
-Hi.
-Want to buy a bed?
-What's happening?
-We're leaving.
-Will you sign for the bed?
-Eh, Chas, slow it down like the man says.
-Alright, let's give it another try.
-That your daughter?
-Uh-huh.
-Got her mother's looks.
-Oh.
-Julia's my second wife.
-Lucky man.
-The box... you opened it. We came.
-It's just a puzzle box.
-It's a means to summon us -- it's called the Lament Configuration.
-Who are you?
-Cenobites. Explorers in the further regions of experience. Demons to some. Angels to others.
-This isn't for real.
-He doesn't see us, or hear us. We belong to you, Kirsty. And you to us.
-Let me alone, will you?
-No time for argument.
-You did this before, right?
-Many times.
-Nobody escapes us.
-Suppose he HAD slipped us. What significance has that?
-We want the man who did this --
-Just in time.
-We've got such sights to show you --
-Please. Get back into bed.
-I have to speak to my father.
-That's easily arranged. But first, back into bed.
-It's important.
-Please listen to me --
-You were holding onto it like grim death.
-I don't remember.
-Well the police are going to want to speak to you. You know that.
-Oh Christ.
-Julia!
-Kirsty. It's Frank. It's Uncle Frank.
-No.
-You remember.
-No.
-Don't touch me. Or so help me --
-I bet you make your Daddy proud, don't you? Beautiful.
-This isn't happening.
-No.
-One last time. Give me the box.
-Come to Daddy.
-This isn't happening.
-Oh my God.
-You bastard --
-Poor baby.
-Bastard.
-Hush now. It's all right Frank's here.
-Frank --
-You're Julia, right?
-That's right. Who are you?
-I'm brother Frank.
-Oh.
-There is going to BE a wedding?
-Oh. Oh yes.
-Well can I come in or not?
-Well?
-I don't want to see the dress.
-But you said --
-What about Larry --
-Wedded bliss?
-I'm very happy.
-Julia.
-Oh my God.
-Don't look at me.
-Who are you?
-Help me.
-Tell me who you are.
-No. God no.
-Believe me. It's me. It's really me.
-What happened to you?
-His blood... on the floor... It brought me back.
-Back from where?
-...somebody...
-You can't let me stay like this. Please. You can't.
-What do you want me to do.
-I'm hurting
-Hurting.
-My nerves... are beginning to work again.
-Good.
--- to heal me completely. Then we can be away from here, before they come looking.
-Who?
-Poor Larry. Obedient as ever.
-Ssh. Don't want babe to hear.
-You're hurting.
-Well?
-Better. Very much better. I'd like something to wear. And some cigarettes. Will you bring me some?
-Later.
-What?
-I want an explanation first. I want to know what happened to you.
-Not know.
-A long time.
-This is what began it.
-A box?
-It's not any box. It's called the Lament Configuration. It's a puzzle.
-Let me see.
-Don't touch it. It's dangerous. It opens doors.
-What kind of doors?
-To experience beyond anything ever known. At least that's what I was promised when I bought it. Pleasure from Heaven or Hell. I didn't much care which.
-Hell...
-I was bored. I'd done everything. I'd gone to the limits. There was nothing left to experience. At least nothing I could buy on earth.
-And you came back here to solve the puzzle --
-Sure. Somewhere safe. Safe. Christ! They tortured me here. In this room.
-Who did?
-The Cenobites. The creatures the box set free. Sometimes I think they're still here. Just behind the walls. Them and their hooks and their beasts. Just waiting to break out again. Except that I've got the box.
-You're still afraid.
-You would be. They tore me apart.
-So you were cheated.
-They took my body, but my spirit... they left that here. In the boards, in the walls. Watching the world, but not able to TOUCH it.
-And the blood let you out?
-It gave me a little chance, and I took it. They won't get me back. I'm going to live, and you're going to help me. Yes?
-You can't love him.
-I don't.
-So where's the harm?
-I said no.
-She'll tell them everything...
-I don't think so. She'll want Larry first.
-That's probably her now. Or the police.
-Maybe.
-Don't you care?
-There's very little I can do about it.
-Maybe we should just leave --
-Like this? Look at me! LIKE THIS?
-Well we can't just stay here --
-Kirsty.
-Hi. I got soaked.
-There's a towel in the bathroom.
-Which is where?
-What happened?
-Just an accident. He's all right. Will you drive? He needs stitches.
-Sure.
-Kirsty? It's very late.
-Where's Daddy?
-What's the problem?
-I have to see my father.
-You look terrible. Have you had an accident?
-I was here this afternoon.
-This afternoon.
-I saw everything.
-No, damn you --
-It's ONE of these.
-We're going to freeze to death.
-Maybe somebody changed the lock.
-Like who?
-Just a thought --
-It smells damp.
-How long since you were here?
-Why didn't he want to sell it?
-Not exactly modern.
-We'll sell it. Sell everything.
-I thought half of it was your brother's?
-You know we have to let Kirsty see this place, before we do anything to it. She'll love it.
-You're still blaming me.
-No. I'm not.
-All right.
-So what's the argument?
-No argument.
-Larry!
-Where are you?
-He's here?
-Well?
-Why not?
-How are you doing through there?
-What have you done?
-Is it deep?
-I don't know, I haven't looked. You know me and blood.
-You're NOT going to faint.
-Shit.
-It's probably going to need stitches.
-I'm going to throw up.
-Take it slowly.
-So damn stupid.
-You're done worse.
-I'll be scarred for life.
-Look, I'm going to have to leave you guys to keep each other company.
-Larry....
-Would you excuse me? I think I'm going to go to bed.
-Julia?
-I'm here.
-Are you all right?
-Just feeling a bit sick.
-I'll be O.K. Just leave me be a while.
-Can I get you anything?
-Maybe a brandy.
-Sure.
-I'll be down in a minute
-Just a moment. Put on some music will you babe?
-Who was it?
-Is this upsetting you?
-Are you all right?
-Fine.
--- I'll go see.
-Larry...
-Oh baby.
-Don't go upstairs.
-Huh?
-Please...
-What's wrong with you?
-What's wrong?
-I don't know where to begin...
-What are you talking about?
-Dead.
-Not much fun, is it?
-What?
-Drinking alone.
-Not much.
-What are you drinking?
-Just soda.
-Plain soda?
-Please.
-I try not to drink at lunch-time. Makes me sleepy in the afternoon. You like to keep a clear head, eh? One soda, one whisky. I do it anyway. No will-power. Got a busy afternoon?
-That depends.
-You know it's not often I... you know...
-There's a first time for everything.
-I suppose that's right.
-You want something to drink?
-Well, isn't it?
-I... suppose so, yes.
-So, what's your problem? Let's get to it. You're not going to change your fucking mind ?
-No. No. Let's go upstairs.
-Is this your place ?
-Do you care ?
-No, not much.
-Let's keep it that way, shall we?
-No personal details?
-This isn't the bedroom.
-What's going on?
-I suppose not.
-First time for everything.
-Why don't you take off your jacket? You're warm.
-Why don't you do the same?
-You know, you're very beautiful.
-Am I?
-Oh Christ.
-What's wrong?
-You're awake. Good girl.
-What happened to me?
-I'll get the doctor.
-Who brought me in here?
-What a pretty tune.
-My father doesn't answer. I have to go find him.
-I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the police have spoken to you. Keep trying your father; he'll answer eventually.
-I called another friend of mine and he's coming over. Will you let him in?
-You wouldn't believe me.
-Well, if you change your mind. What's this friend's name?
-Who's there?
-Kirsty?
-I got through.
-Where are you?
-I found a room.
-What did you say?
-I thought you were going to stay with us for awhile?
-No Dad.
-You'd like the house.
-YOU'D like my room.
-Well I want you to see the house.
-Great.
-Well come over, will you? See the place?
-Maybe later in the week. First I've got to find myself a job.
-What for, honey? You know we can look after you. You've made the gesture --
-It's not a gesture. I want to do this on my own. Come on, trust me a little will you?
-I do. I'd just feel happier if you were with us.
-I'll come over and see you in the next few days. You can show me the mansion. O.K.?
-You will keep in touch.
-Of course. Every day.
-O.K.
-Take care, Dad.
-Call me tomorrow.
-Big house.
-You like?
-I'll show you around when we've got this damn bed moved.
-Is Julia here?
-Upstairs. Treat her gently, huh? She hates moving.
-Surprise.
-Kirsty.
-O.K. I'll be nice. You get on with the muscle work. I'll make myself some coffee.
-Are you O.K.?
-What are you drinking, love?
-I've forgotten.
-I just wanted to be sure you were O.K.
-Never better. You sleep well.
-Yeah.
-I love you, honey.
-...maybe we should never have come back.
-Maybe you should give it some time.
-I guess.
-She's not like Mom. She's... I don't know... moody. I thought that was what you liked about her.
-She doesn't even want to leave the house.
-Really?
-It's like she's waiting for something.
-What?
-Would you... maybe call round sometime? Try to make friends.
-Sure.
-I have to talk to you.
-It's all right, sweetheart. Julia's told me everything; and it's all right...
-No. You don't understand. Your brother -- Frank -- he's here in the house. And he's --
-Whatever Frank did was his error. And it's finished with now.
-Finished?
-He's gone.
-Poor Frank. He's better off dead.
-I don't believe it.
-I'm afraid it's true.
-I want to see.
-No you don't.
-Yes!
-Get the fuck out of here.
-What's the problem?
-PLEASE. You're in danger.
-No. It's all over.
-Where are you going?
-We're on the Cointreau.
-I won't be able to stand.
-You're not going?
-Need any help?
-I'm here.
-I thought we'd lost you.
-You know I do know the way home.
-It's late.
-Not that late.
-Please. I want to see you home. All right?
-All right. No. That's nice.
-If there's a train.
-What do we do if there isn't?
-Why don't you stay at Larry's house? There's plenty of room.
-Yeah, there's room. And there's Julia.
-I see.
-She's so damn... English.
-Meaning what?
-I beg your pardon?
-There ya go. I beg your pardon?
-Oh no?
-Oh no.
-It's not what I heard.
-Oh!
-Are you alright ?
-I've been better.
-Your father told me you were working here.
-If I make it through the day.
-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have surprised you.
-Are you busy after work ?
-Just trying to get my apartment in order.
-Can I lend you a hand?
-As long as you don't mind the smell of fur --
-Steve. Thank God you came.
-These THINGS... they want to take me --
-What's wrong?
-Don't let them take me, Steve --
-What?
-Just go. PLEASE. I'll be O.K. I'm going to go see Dad. He'll look after me --
-What did I say?
-I'll come back later, huh?
-'Bye.
-Do I know you?
-Alison's.
-Really.
-Rob. Rob Gordon. Circa junior high...
-I hate to quibble with you Rob, but she married her first boyfriend. Kevin Bannister.
-You gotta be kidding me.
-Really? Married Kevin? Her junior high sweetheart... What chance would I have had against that? None, no chance. That's just fate.
-I beg your pardon?
-TURN IT OFF, BARRY.
-What are you doing?
-I don't want to hear Public Enemy right now.
-Public Enemy! All I'm trying to do is cheer us up. Go ahead and put on some old sad bastard music see if I care.
-I don't want old sad bastard music either. I just want something I can ignore.
-But it's my new tape. My Monday morning tape. I made it last night just for today.
-Yeah, well it's fucking Monday afternoon. You should get out of bed earlier.
-Don't you want to hear what's next?
-What's next?
-Play it.
-Say it.
-How can it be bullshit to state a preference?
-Since when did this shop become a fascist regime?
-Since you brought that bullshit tape in.
-Great. That's the fun of working in a record store. Playing crappy pap you don't want to listen to. I thought this tape was going to be, you know, a conversation stimulator. I was going to ask you for your top five records to play on a Monday morning and all that, and you just had to ruin it.
-We'll do it next Monday.
-Nice, Barry.
-Rob. Top five musical crimes perpetrated by Stevie Wonder in the '80's and '90's. Subquestion -- is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter- day sins? "Is it better to burn out than to fade away?"
-You just drove a fucking customer away, Barry.
-We didn't even really have it. I happen to know for a fact that the only Stevie Wonder single we have is "Don't Drive Drunk." I was just goofing on the straight, and it never cost you a penny.
-Not the point.
-Oh, so what's the point then?
-I don't want you talking to our customers like that again.
-Barry, I'm fucking broke! I know we used to fuck with anyone who asked for anything we didn't like, but it's gotta stop.
-Bullshit. The guy was going to buy one record -- which we didn't even have -- and leave and never come back again anyway. Why not have a little fun? Big fucking deal.
-What did he ever do to you?
-He offended me with his terrible taste.
-It wasn't even his terrible taste. It was his daughter's.
-Yeah.
-I wanna date a musician...
-I wanna live with a musician. She'd write songs at home, ask me what she thought of them, maybe even include one of our private jokes in the liner notes.
-What did you tell her about the shop for?
-We're only on the fucking list for Marie's gig at the Pulaski Pub, that's all! All three of us.
-That's fucking great, Barry. We can spend fifteen bucks on a cab to save five each. Fantastic, Barry!
-We can take your car.
-What?
-What do you mean, "what?"
-What are you snickering about?
-I'm not snickering. I'm smiling. Because I'm happy.
-Okay. Top five side one track ones. Number one... "Janie Jones," the Clash, from The Clash.
-Ehh.
-"Thunder Road," Bruce Springsteen, from Born to Run. "Smells Like Teen Spirit," Nirvana, Nevermind.
-Oh no, Rob, that's not obvious enough. Not at all. Dick, did you hear that?
-Shut up. "Let's Get It On," Marvin Gaye, from Let's Get It On. "Airbag," Radiohead, from OK Computer.
-There's something different about the sound of her voice... And what did she mean last night, she hasn't slept with him yet. Yet. What does "yet" mean, anyway? "I haven't seen... Evil Dead II yet." What does that mean? It means you're going to go, doesn't it?
--- You're like a little squirrel of music, storing away dead little nuts of old garbage music, musical lint, old shit, shit, shit --
-Just... come on, what would it mean to you? That sentence? "I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet?"
-To me, it would mean that you're a liar. You saw it twice. Once with Laura -- oops -- once with me and Dick. We had that conversation about the possibilities of the guy making ammo off-screen in the Fourteenth Century.
-I'd think you were a cinematic idiot. And I'd feel sorry for you.
-No, but would you think, from that one sentence. That I was going to see it?
-I'm sorry, Rob, but I'm struggling here. I don't understand any part of this conversation. You're asking me what I would think if you told me that you hadn't seen a film that you've seen. What am I supposed to say?
-Just listen to me. If I said to you --
-"-- I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet," yeah, yeah, I hear you --
-Would you... would you get the impression that I wanted to see it?
-...But the word "yet..." Yeah, you know what, I'd get the impression that you wanted to see it. Otherwise you'd say you didn't really want to.
-But in your opinion, would I definitely go?
-Why would they care?
-I never thought I would say this, but can I go work now?
-Fine by me. I still want pay to 7 o'clock.
-Un-fucking-believable. Dick's out on a hot date, Rob's boning Marie LaSalle, and the best-looking and most intelligent of all of us isn't getting anything at all.
-How do you know about that?
-Shut the fuck up, Barry.
-Don't be sad, Barry. You'll find true love someday.
-Suck my ass.
-Hey.
-What the fuck is that?
-My band.
-What band?
-The band that found me and asked me to join.
-You are not in a band, Barry. You are not a musician. And no posters.
-Thanks for your support, Rob. Really appreciate it.
-Barrytown. Barrytown? Is there no end to your arrogance?
-I didn't make up the name. It's the Steely Dan song. And it was in The Commitments.
-You can't be called Barry and sing in a group called Barrytown.
-They were fucking called that before I was in it, okay? It wasn't my idea.
-Isn't it?
-That was one of the reasons they asked me to join originally, yes. But --
-Great! That's fucking great! They only asked you to sing because of your name! You can stick it above the browser racks over there.
-How many tickets can I put you down for?
-None. Christ!
-You're not even coming?
-Of course I'm not coming. Do I look like I'd want to listen to some terrible experimental racket played in some hideous cave? Where is it? The fucking Bucktown Pub? Ha!
-So much for friends, then. You're a bitter bastard, Rob, you know that?
-What's up?
-Laura. Her dad died.
-It was Jan, and it was a long time after--
-Whatever. Okay. "Tell Laura I Love Her." That'd bring the house down. Laura's mom could sing it.
-Fuck off, Barry.
-I'd want "One Step Beyond" by Madness. And "You Can't Always Get What You Want."
-Because it's in The Big Chill.
-Haven't seen it.
-Liar. We saw it in the Lawrence Kasdan double-bill with Body Heat.
-Oh. Right. But I'd forgotten about that. I wasn't biting the idea.
-The little skate-fuckers.
-No way.
-What the fuck is that?
-What?
-I heard you, man. Don't give me that "what" shit. You just told them that you're gonna put out a record with them.
-So? You even said they're good.
-Like fuck you are.
-Laura said we could. If we helped out with the posters and stuff. And we did. And we are.
-I'll give you 10% of the door if you don't play.
-We're getting that anyway.
-What is she doing? Okay, 20%.
-No. We need the gig.
-110%. That's my final offer. I'm not kidding. That's how much it means to me not to hear you play.
-We're not as bad as you think, Rob.
-You couldn't be. Look, Barry. There's going to be people from Laura's work there, people who own dogs and babies and Tina Turner albums. How are you going to cope with them?
-We're not called Barrytown anymore, by the by. They got sick of the Barry/Barrytown thing. We're called SDM. Sonic Death Monkey.
-Sonic Death Monkey.
-What do you think? Dick likes it.
-Barry, you're over thirty years old. You owe it to yourself and your friends and to your parents not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey.
-I owe it to myself to go right to the edge, Rob, and this group does exactly that. Over the edge, in fact.
-You'll be going over the fucking edge if you come anywhere near me next Friday night.
-I'm looking for a record for my daughter. For her birthday. "I Just Called To Say I Love You." Do you have it?
-Great. Can I have it then?
-Why not?
-Because it's sentimental tacky crap, that's why not. Do we look like the kind of store that sells "I Just Called To Say I Loved You?" Go to the mall and stop wasting our time.
-What's your problem? What did I... Why are you --
-It's almost impossible to find, especially on CD. Yet another cruel trick on all of the dumbasses who got rid of their turntables. But every other Echo and the Bunnymen album --
-I have all of the others.
-Oh really. Well what about the first Jesus and Mary Chain?
-They always seemed...
-Well what about the new Echo --
-That is perverse. Do not tell anyone you don't own fucking Blonde on Blonde. What about Television?
-I have a television.
-Holy Shiite! What the fuck's this?
-Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels?
-No. The Righteous Brothers.
-What?
-Nothing.
-No, not nothing. What's wrong with the Righteous Brothers?
-Nothing. I just prefer the other one.
-She shouldn't done it on "The Number Four With a Smile."
-Isn't her album called "Number Four With A Smile?"
-That's what I said.
-No, no, no, you said "The Number Four With a Smile," and there's no "The" at the front of the title of the album.
-It's a reference to a Chinese meal in Toronto and I think that there is a "The." But I could be wrong.
-He's got one!
-On Clark Street!
-A couple blocks! About six!
-We work there!
-I can't go to the club tonight, guys.
-Who are you going to see?
-Anna.
-Anna who? Anna Green Gables? Anna Conda?
-Anna Moss.
-Don't do it, Rob!
-Okay, okay -- "Leader of the Pack." The guy fucking cracks up on a cycle and dies right? "Dead Man's Curve," Jan and Dean...
-Did you know that after that song was recorded, Jan himself crashed his --
-"Somebody's Gonna Die" by Blitz. "Bella Lugosi's Dead," Bauhaus. It's got that creepy Halloween feeling.
-Hey, Barry.
-Oh, hi.
-Where's Rob?
-The Malcolm McClaren of Clark Street is in his executive suite. Do you have an appointment?
-What are you talking about?
-May I help you?
-I'm looking for Deejay Rob Gordon.
-Uh. That's me.
-I'm Caroline Fortis from The Reader. I want to do a story on you.
-Right. Why?
-Well, I used to go to the Dodger on your nights, and I saw you're doing it again and that your putting out a record, and it's sort of a then-and- now story against the backdrop of the Chicago music scene with the emphasis on now.
-Oh. Okay.
-I thought I would ask you a few questions if that's okay.
-What I mean is, I didn't mean you look young. You don't. You don't look old either. You look just as old as you are. A bit younger maybe, but not a lot. Not much. Just right.
-Right. So. You must have an enormous record collection.
-Yeah, well... Let's see... What are you're all-time top five records?
-Pardon me?
-Your desert island top-five.
-Oh boy... In the club, or at home?
-Is there a difference?
-OF COURSE... Well yeah, a bit. "Sin City" by the Flying Burrito Brothers is an all-time top five, but I wouldn't play it at the club. It's a country-rock ballad. Everybody'd go home.
-Nevermind. Any five. So four more.
-What do you mean, four more?
-Well if one of them is this "Sin City" thing --
-Can I go home and work this out and let you know? In a week or so?
-Oh, I'm sure I can manage something... "Sin City." "New Rose," by The Damned. "Hit It and Quit It" by Funkadelic. "Shipbuilding," Elvis Costello, Japanese import, no horns, or different horns, anyway... um... "Mystery Train" by Elvis Presley... And... "Spaced Cowboy" by Sly and the Family Stone. A bit controversial, I know, but...
-Fine. That's great.
-Is that it?
-Well, I wouldn't mind a quick chat, if you got the time.
-Sure, but is that it for the list?
-That's five. So. Why did you decide to deejay again?
-Well it was a friend's idea, really, and the record release party seemed like a good place to do it. So... I should really put a James Brown in there --
-Nice friend.
-Yeah.
-What's his name?
-Who? Oh. My friend. My friend is Laura. A girl. A friend who's a girl.
-"Music for Old People." What does that mean?
-Okay. "Dance Music For Old People?"
-Oh, you know... a lot of people aren't too old for clubs but they're too old for acid jazz and garage and ambient and all that. They want to hear old funk and Stax and New Wave and Old School Hip Hop and some new stuff all together and there's nowhere for them.
-And the new label? And the Kinky Wizards?
-Oh, well, the Kinky Wizards are -- you know what? Why don't I just make you a tape?
-Would you? Really? Wow. I could have deejay Rob Gordon play in my own home.
-Rob, hi, so sorry I missed your call. In LA on business. You know how it gets.
-Yeah, sure...
-Good. Great. Yeah... Wow. Rob Gordon. Seems like a 100 million years ago now.
-Yeah. A billion. Right... How are you?
-Fantastic but I'm a little busy right now. Listen. Do you want to come to dinner Saturday? I'm having some friends over and I need a spare man. Are you a spare man?
-Uh...yes, at the moment.
-Hey Charlie.
-Hey Rob.
-Why did you break up with me for Marco?
-Fuck! I knew it! You're going through one of those what-does-it- all-mean things.
-Huh?
-There's been a rash of them, recently. I find it a little unnerving. In fact Marco called a few months back, and he wanted to see me, and rehash the past as they say, and I wasn't really up for it. Do all men go through this?
-It's all kind of lost in the... in the dense mists of time now... It wasn't that I really liked Marco more. In fact I thought you were more, shall we say, attractive than him. It was just that he knew he was good-looking and you didn't, and that made a difference somehow. You used to act as if I was weird for wanting
-Did you tell that to Marco when he did his what-does-it-all-mean thing with you?
-'Morning, Dick.
-Oh, hi. Hi, Rob.
-Good weekend?
-Yeah, OK. I found the first Licorice Comfits album at Vintage Vinyl. The one on Testament of Youth. Never released here. Japanese import only.
-Great.
-I'll tape it for you.
-No, that's okay. Really.
-'Cause you like their second one, you said, Pop, Girls. etc. The one with Cheryl Ladd on the cover. You didn't see the cover though.
-Yeah, I haven't really absorbed that one.
-Well, I'll just make it for you.
-What's this?
-Hey. Didn't you steal that one already?
-Are you all right?
-Yeah. I'm sorry... Look Dick, Laura and I broke up. She's gone. And if we ever see Barry again maybe you can tell him that.
-I've ah... got some other stuff to tell him anyway, so it's no problem. I'll just tell him about, you know, Laura, when I tell him the other stuff.
-Fine.
-Or rather, bad news and good news, because he likes this person playing tonight. I mean, he liked Laura too, I didn't mean that. And he likes you. It's just that --
-I understand, Dick.
-I always hated this song.
-Let's not.
-Rob.
-Liz, hold on a second -- What?
-Rob --!
-I will now sell four copies of Cats and Dogs by the Royal Trux.
-Well we rang $900 today.
-Don't worry about it, Dick. Barry's an asshole.
-I'm sorry, Rob, that's, it's --
-Can I do anything?
-What is this.
-It's Vince and Justin.
-Laura? Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine. I'm off the phone.
-You look upset.
-I'm upset, but I'm fine.
-Maybe I should talk to him.
-Mmmm, no. Not a good idea.
-Conflict resolution is my job, Laura.
-Can I help you?
-What needs sorting out?
-Come on, Rob. My relationship with Laura has obviously disturbed you a great deal.
-Funnily enough I haven't been too thrilled about it.
-We are not talking jokey understatement here, Rob. We're talking actionable harassment. Ten phone calls a night, hanging around outside my house...
-Yeah, well, I've stopped all that now.
-We've noticed and we're glad. But, you know... how are we going to make peace here? We want to make things easier for you. What can we do? Obviously I know how special Laura is, and I know things can't be good for you at the moment. I'd hate it if I lost her. But I'd like to think that if she decided she
-Yeah.
-Good. So shall we leave it at that then?
-I dunno.
-Good. So shall we leave it at that then?
-Good. So shall we leave it at that then?
-So shall we leave it at that then?
-I dunno.
-You don't have to go this second. You can stay until whenever.
-We've done the hard part now. I might as well, you know...
-Jeez. He goes on long enough.
-Shit!
-Hi.
-Hi.
-I thought I could give you a lift back.
-Are you coming home?
-Yes. Well, I'm coming over to your house to get some things.
-How can you like Art Garfunkel and Marvin Gaye? It's like saying you support the Israelis and the Palestinians.
-It's not like saying that at all, actually, Rob. Art Garfunkel and Marvin Gaye make pop records --
--- Made. Made. Marvin Gaye is dead, his father shot him in --
--- whatever, and the Israelis and the Palestinians don't. Art Garfunkel and Marvin Gaye are not engaged in a bitter territorial dispute, and the Israelis and the Palestinians are. Art Garfunkel and Marvin Gaye --
--- Alright, alright but --
-Hey! Marvin Gaye! "Got to Give It Up!" That's our song! Marvin Gaye is responsible for our entire relationship!
-Is that right? I'd like a word with him.
-But don't you remember?
-You used to care more about things like Marvin Gaye than you do now. When I first met you, and I made you that tape, you loved it. You said -- and I quote -- "It was so good it made you ashamed of your record collection."
-Well, I liked you. You were a deejay, and I thought you were hot, and I didn't have a boyfriend, and I wanted one.
-So you weren't interested in music at all?
-But Laura... that's me. That's all there is to me. There isn't anything else. If you've lost interest in that, you've lost interest in everything.
-Yes. Look at me. Look at our -- the apartment. What else do I have, other than records and CDs?
-And do you like it that way?
-Have you tackled the Great Reorganization yet?
-So. Where have you been staying for the last week?
-I think you know that.
-I'm sorry. I haven't been very fair to you. That's why I came here to the store this evening. I feel terrible, Rob. This is really hard, you know.
-Good. So. Is it my job?
-What? Gimme a fucking break. Is that what you think? That your not big enough a deal for me? Jesus, gimme a little credit, Rob.
-I don't know. It's one of the things I thought of.
-What were the others?
-Just the obvious stuff.
-What's the obvious stuff?
-I guess it's not that obvious, then.
-What?
-Did you say something?
-No. So. Is it working out with Ian?
-Rob. Don't be childish.
-Why is that childish? Your living with the guy! I'm just asking how it's going.
-I am not living with him. I've just been staying with him for a few days until I work out what I'm doing. Look, this has nothing to do with anyone else. You know that, don't you? I left because we weren't exactly getting along, and we weren't talking about it. And I suddenly realized that I like my job, and I like what
-Look. Maybe you'll grow up and we'll get it together, you and me. Maybe I'll never see either of you again. I don't know. All I know is that it's not a good time to be living here.
-So, what, you haven't definitely decide to dump me? There's still a chance we'll get back together?
-I don't know.
-Well, if you don't know, there's a chance, right? It's like, if someone was in the hospital and he was seriously ill and the doctor said, I don't know if he's got a chance of survival or not, then that doesn't mean the patient's definitely going to die, now does it? It means he might live. Even if it's only a remote possibility.
-I suppose so.
-So we have a chance of getting back together again.
-Oh, Rob, shut up.
-Hey, I just want to know where I stand. What chance --
-Well if you could tell me roughly it would help.
-Okay, okay, we have a nine percent chance of getting back together. Does that clarify the situation?
-Yeah. Great.
-I'm too tired for this now. I know I'm asking a lot, but will you take off for a while so I can get my stuff packed up? I need to be able to think while I do it and I can't think while you're here.
-No problem. If I can ask one question.
-Fine. One.
-It sounds stupid.
-Nevermind.
-You won't like it.
-Just ask it!
-Is it better?
-Is what better? Better than what?
-Well. Sex, I guess. Is sex with him better?
-Jesus Christ, Rob. Is that really what's bothering you?
-Of course it is.
-You really think it would make a difference either way?
-I don't know.
-Well the answer is that I don't know either. We haven't done it yet.
-Never?
-I haven't felt like it.
-But not even before, when he was living upstairs?
-No. I was living with you, remember? We've slept together but we haven't made love. Not yet. But I'll tell you one thing. The sleeping together is better.
-The sleeping together is better but not the sex because you haven't done it was him yet.
-Hi.
-Hi. I've been looking for an envelope of my receipts from last month and I'm thinking I didn't take them with me. Have you seen them around?
-I'll look for 'em. How you doing?
-I'm sorry to call, but I need that stuff...
-Fine, I'm sure it's in the file at home. I'll call you when I find it, and then we'll talk.
-We'll talk some other time.
-So, how are you?
-Have you slept with him yet?
-I told you I slept with him.
-No, not -- I mean have you, you know --
-Is that why you wanted to see me?
-I guess.
-Oh, Rob. What do you want me to say?
-You kind of have to start with Elvis Costello, but where? "Motel Matches?" "I Want You?" "I Hope You're Happy Now?" "Green Shirt?" His records should be sealed in cases that say "in case of vicious betrayal, smash glass." "Where Did You Sleep Last Night," sure, but by Robert Johnson or by Nirvana? Maybe a Liz Phair track. There are a couple to get
-And anyway, I keep trying to tell you, that's not really the point, is it? The point is we got ourselves into an awful mess, Rob... Are you there? What are you thinking?
-Nothing.
-We can meet for another drink if you want. So I can explain it better. I owe you that much.
-Look, I gotta go. I work too, you know.
-Will you call me?
-I don't have your number.
-Call me at work. We can arrange to meet properly. I don't want this to be the last conversation we have. I know what you're like.
-Hello.
-It's me.
-I figured it was. Where are you?
-I think the big question here is where are you, if you don't mind my saying so, and I think I know where you are. You're running. On the run. You're running from a point that everyone hits in any relationship, and you're just going to hit it again with Ian but it's going to be with a World Music bunny- rabbit-looking earth-shoe-wearing "Doctor
-Are you still in love with me?
-Jesus. I do not know. I'll talk to you later.
-Think about what I said. I mean, if you want to experiment, or whatever --
-I'm not experimenting. Why don't you go experiment.
-I don't want to. Don't need to. I love you.
-You don't ever think about other people?
-I called and called but you were out. I thought I'd be gone before you got back.
-Is that the last of it?
-Yep. I might have missed some stuff. I'm so used to some things being here that I don't even notice them.
-Those look heavy. Where's Ian?
-He's at home. Listen, I can't believe he went to the store. I'm mortified, actually. I'm really sorry. He had no right to do that, and I told him so.
-I'm sure.
-You still together? Going all right?
-I don't really want to talk about it, to be honest.
-That bad, eh?
-Fix it up. It'll make you feel better.
-I'll bet you can't remember what you were doing here, can you? I mean, how much are you making now? Sixty? Seventy? And you were living in this shitty place.
-You know I didn't mind. And it's not as if Ray's place is any better.
-I'm sorry, but can we get this straight? What is his fucking name, Ian or Ray? What do you call him?
-Ray. I hate Ian.
-This is where you're supposed to say that you haven't laughed this much in ages, and then you see the error of your ways.
-You make me laugh much more than Ray does, if that's what you're getting at. But I already knew you could make me laugh. It's everything else I don't know about.
-You know I'm a good person.
-Mmm hmm.
-You know that I can cook my ass off when I feel like it.
-Don't forget your CDs.
-Those aren't mine.
-Sure they are.
-They're not really, though, are they? I know you bought them for me, and that was really sweet of you, but that was when you were trying to turn me into you. I can't take them, I know they'd just sit around staring at me, and I'd feel embarrassed by them and... they don't fit in with the rest of what's mine, do you
-Okay, okay. I get the picture.
-I'm sorry to go on about it. But, I don't know, there's a lesson here somewhere, and I want to make sure you get it.
-I got it. You like Sting but you don't like Gram Parsons, because you've never heard of him.
-You're being deliberately obtuse.
-I guess I am.
-Hello.
-Guess who I just saw, right by my store? Ian. In Starbuck's. Neat, huh?
-I can't talk right now.
-Are you alright?
-Pigsty.
-Don't worry about it. Just get into bed. Worry about that when you're better.
-Pig died.
-Who the fuck's Pig?
-I'm sorry.
-No, no. When are you going home?
-Me?
-My dad liked you. And Mom never told him we'd split, because he wasn't up to it and... oh, I don't know. I don't really understand it. I think she thinks he'll be able to see what's going on. It's like... He's been through so much, what with dying and everything, that she doesn't want to upset him any more than she has to.
-Do you want me to be there?
-Look, are you coming or not?
-Yes, of course.
-Liz'll give you a lift. She knows where to go and everything... I don't have time to talk, Rob. I've got too much to do.
-Are you going to lie in that flower bed all night?
-You're soaking.
-Mmnn.
-I can see why you say that. Look, I'm sorry. I really am. The last thing I wanted was... that's why I left, because... I lost it, and I didn't want to blow my top in there, and... look, the reason I fucked everything up was because I was scared. I just wanted you to know, that's all.
-Thank you. I appreciate it. I can't reciprocate.
-What do you mean?
-I didn't mess things up because I was scared. I slept with Ray because I was sick of you. And I needed something to snap me out of it.
-Sure, I understand. Look, I don't want to take up any more of your time. You get back, and I'll wait here for a bus.
-I don't want to go back.
-What do you want to do?
-When are you going back?
-I don't know. Sometime. Later. Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me?
-What?
-I want to feel something else than this. It's either that or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm.
-I've only got a couple left. I'm saving them for later.
-Hello. It doesn't seem so long ago that I looked at you from here.
-Hi.
-You know, with Ray...
-Oh, Rob, we're not going to go through that again.
-No, no. It's not... are you still on the pill?
-Yes, of course. There's nothing to worry about.
-Look, we can do other things.
-Laura...
-So if you had a bit more energy we'd stay split. But things being how they are, what with you wiped out, you'd like us to get back together.
-Everything's too hard. Maybe another time I would have the guts to be on my own, but not now I don't.
-What about Ian?
-Ray's a disaster. I don't know what that was all about, except that sometimes you need someone to lob into the middle of a bad relationship like a hand grenade, I guess, and blow it all apart.
-Mission accomplished.
-Let's go home. Okay?
-C'mon. I want to know.
-Want to know what, exactly?
-What it was like.
-It was like sex. What else could it be like?
-Was it like good sex or was it like bad sex?
-What's the difference?
-You know the difference.
-Look, we're okay now. We just had a nice time. Let's leave it at that.
-Oh, c'mon, Laura. Just say something. Lie, if you want. It'd stop me asking you questions and it'd make me feel better.
-Well I was gonna lie and now I can't, because you'd know I was lying.
-Well why the fuck would you want to lie, anyway?
-To make you feel better.
-Look, Rob. If great sex was as important as you think it is, and if I was having great sex with him, then we wouldn't be lying here now. And that is my last word on the subject, okay?
-... Like Mexico. Or Jamaica. Or New York, even.
-Hey, great idea. What I'll do is, tomorrow I'll get a hold of a box full of mint Elvis Presley 78s on the Sub label, and I'll pay for it that way.
-I'll pay for you. Even though you owe me money. We have to do something with the money I earn. I need to. I deserve it. You can just think of it as winning the lottery.
-Fantastic. The Girlfriend Lottery.
-Money does not matter. I do not care how much you earn. I'd just like you to be a little happier in your work, but beyond that you can do what you like.
-But it wasn't supposed to be like this. When I met you we were the same people and now we're not, and...
-How? How were we the same people?
-Well, you were the kind of person who came to the Artful Dodger and I was the kind of person who deejayed at the Artful Dodger. You wore jeans and T-shirts, and so did I. And I still do, and you don't.
-Because I'm not allowed to. I still do, after work. So, what? Should we just break up? Is that what you're saying? Because if you are, I'm going to run out of patience.
-No, but...
-But what?
-But why doesn't it matter that we're not the same people we used to be?
-You haven't changed so much as a pair of socks in the years I've known you. If we've grown apart, then I'm the one who's done the growing, and all I've done is change jobs.
-And hairstyles and clothes and attitude and friends and...
-I can't go to work with my hair dyed pink. And I can afford to go shopping more now, and I've met a couple people I like over the last year or so.
-You're tougher.
-More confident, maybe.
-Harder.
-Less neurotic. Are you intending to stay the same for the rest of your life?
-I'm alright.
-Yeah, you're alright. But you're certainly not happy. So what happens if you get happy? And yes I know that's the title of an Elvis Costello album, I use the reference deliberately to catch your attention. Should we split up because I'm used to you being miserable? What happens if you, I don't know, start you're own record label, and it's a success? Time
-You're being stupid.
-All I'm saying is, you have to allow for things to happen to people, most of all to yourself. Otherwise, what's the use?
-Hi.
-Hi. What are you doing?
-Nothing.
-Wanna go to dinner?
-Where?
-At Paul and Miranda's. Paul from work.
-Oh. Well. We don't really get along. Paul and I.
-I know. But you've never met. It just seems like a stone unturned in your relationship with him.
-You did that deliberately. You knew all along I'd like them. It was a trick.
-I called Dan Koretzky because he --
-Has Drag City Records, I know, I know. You told Dan Koretzky about this?
-Yeah, and he said it's a good way to break out a record. Especially for what he said, and I quote, "would be a highly anticipated event, locally." He helped me put out a press release.
-WHAT?
-Just local, of course.
-And the "triumphant return of DJ Rob Gordon?" "Triumphant?" "Return?"
-I had that idea when I was living with Ian and it was such a good idea that I was annoyed we weren't together anymore. It might even be why I came back.
-You had no right. Supposing I was doing something that couldn't be cancelled?
-What do you ever do that can't be cancelled?
-That's not the point. I mean, what if the single isn't done in time?
-Barry said its done.
-Barry? Barry knows about this?
-They'll go on early. Nobody will even be there yet and I told them they can't play for more than a half hour.
-It's no joke. I'm responsible for what happens, you know. Embarrassment aside, there's a lot of money and effort in this, at least by my standards. I have to put down a deposit for the room. I have to pay the pressing plant for the records, sleeve them, sticker them --
-I'm sorry I've been acting like a jerk. I do appreciate what you've done for me, and I know you've done it for the best possible reasons, and I do love you, even though I act like I don't.
-That's okay. You seem pissed off all the time, though.
-Are you worried about tomorrow night?
-Are you going to talk to me, or shall I get my paper out?
-I'm going to talk to you.
-What are you going to talk to me about?
-I'm going to talk to you about whether you want to get married or not. To me.
-Ha ha ha. Hoo hoo hoo.
-I mean it.
-I know.
-Oh, well thanks a fucking bunch.
-I'm sorry. But two days ago you were in love with that girl who interviewed you for The Reader, weren't you?
-Not in love, exactly, but...
-Well forgive me if I don't think of you as the world's safest bet.
-Would you marry me if I was?
-No. Probably not.
-Right. Okay, then. Shall we go?
-Don't sulk. What brought all this on?
-I don't know.
-Very persuasive.
-Are you persuadable?
-No. I don't think so. I'm just curious about how one goes from making tapes for one person to marriage proposals to another in two days. Fair enough?
-Fair enough.
-So?
-I'm just sick of thinking about it all the time.
-About what?
-This stuff. Love and marriage. I want to think about something else.
-I've changed my mind. That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. I do. I will.
-Shut up. I'm only trying to explain.
-I mean, maybe you're right. But were you really expecting me to say yes?
-I dunno. Didn't think about it, really. It was the asking that was the important thing.
-I'm an idiot. I should have played the record first. This place is about to get burned down.
-Rob here.
-Hey. It's Liz.
-What's happenin'.
-You called this morning?
-Yeah. I just wanted to thank you for that message last night. It made me feel like... like less of an asshole.
-How're you holding up?
-Actually, I'm fine. I'm great. Last night I got to thinking, "you know what? Maybe it is time to move on. Maybe we're just not right for each other. Or maybe we are. But time will tell and at this point I'm going to be fine with whatever's meant to be." You know?
-What's the -- hey, Liz --
-To think I sympathized with you for two seconds! Poor Rob! Laura left him out of nowhere for the schmuck upstairs. You let me believe that!
-It's true!
-Rob! Two years ago you got Laura pregnant; you then proceeded to cheat on her! You borrowed money from her and never paid a dime back! And then, just a few weeks ago, you told her you were unhappy with her and were "kind of looking around for somebody else!"
-So the minister says nice things, and then, what, we all troop outside and they bury him?
-It's a crematorium.
-You're kidding. A crematorium? Jesus.
-What difference does it make?
-Is Ray going?
-No. They don't know him. And Ken liked you. Rob, Ken didn't die for your benefit, you know. It's like everybody's a supporting actor in the film of your life story.
-Enough, Liz.
-Enough of what?
-I know I can't speak now because Laura's father died, and I just have to take it because otherwise I'm a bad guy, with the emphasis on guy, self-centered. Well, I'm fucking not, not all the time, anyway, I'm really sorry Jo. But you know, Liz... I can either stick up for myself or believe everything you say about me and end up hating
-Maybe I've been a little unfair. But is this really the time?
-Only because it's never the time. I can't go on apologizing my whole life, you know?
-Good. 'Cause I'm enjoying myself.
-So you live in Chicago now?
-Don't you like that?
-Hi, Marie.
-She just wanted to pick up some stuff. No big thing. A relief, actually.
-God, I hate that time. That pick up stuff time. I just went through that before I came here. You know that song "Patsy Cline Times Two" I play? That's about me and my ex dividing up our record collections.
-It's a great song.
-Is that why you came to Chicago in the first place? Because of, you know, dividing up your record collection and stuff?
-You share a place with T-Bone?
-No way! I'd cramp his style. And I wouldn't want to listen to all that stuff happening on the other side of the bedroom wall. I'm way to unattached for that.
-Awhile back, Dick and Barry and I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like...
-Yeah, but if you heard this band called the Crumblers, you'd --
-What do you mean, the Crumblers? You know the Crumblers? Nobody's heard the Crumblers. Except me.
-Books, records, films -- these things matter. Call me shallow but it's the damn truth, and by this measure I was having one of the best dates of my life.
-Yeah, but you know what's his best film and nobody's even seen it?
-The Conformist.
-Exactly! Fucking ex-actly!
-You haven't even seen it!
-Are you okay?
-Yes. You?
-For now. But I wouldn't be if I thought this was the end of the evening.
-I'm sure it isn't.
-Good. In that case, I'll fix us something else to drink. You sticking to the whiskey or you want coffee?
-Tops off two whiskeys and starts into the other room where she sees Rob, standing and holding his jacket.
-I'd better go. I gotta get up early. Go over to my parents'.
-I'd like it if you could stay the night.
-Oh, right. Alright.
-Jesus, so much for delicacy. I pegged you for a master of understatement, beating around the bush and all that buzz.
-I use it but I don't understand it when other people use it.
-So you'll stay?
-Yeah.
-Would you like me to turn the lights out? Or would you like them on?
-Which way are you going?
-That way. You?
-That way.
-And so it is. I'll talk to you later.
-I'll call you.
-Yeah?
-Hi, Mom.
-Everything all right?
-Great. Super-fantastic.
-How's the store?
-So so. Up and down.
-She left. She's gone.
-What do you mean? Where did she go?
-How would I know? Gone. Girlfriend. Leave. Not say where gone. Laura move out.
-Well call her mother.
-Hello? Anybody there?
-I'm all right, if that's what's upsetting you.
-You know that's not what's upsetting me.
-Well it fucking should be, shouldn't it?
-I knew this would happen. What are you going to do Rob?
-I'm going to drink this bottle of wine watch TV and go to bed. Then tomorrow I'll get up and go to work.
-And after that?
-Meet a nice girl and have children. I promise the next time we talk I'll have it all sorted out.
-I knew this was going to happen.
-Then what are you getting so upset about?
-What did Laura say? Do you know why she left?
-It's got nothing to do with marriage, if that's what you're getting at.
-So you say. I'd like to hear her side of it.
-Mom! For the last fucking time, I'm telling you Laura didn't want to get married! She is not that kind of girl! To use a phrase. That's not what happens now.
-What do you think?
-It's the best collection I've ever seen.
-These are worth at least, I don't know --
-I know what they're worth. Give me fifty and get them out.
-But you must have --
-I must have nothing. Their my husband's.
-And you must not be getting along too well right now, huh?
-He's in Jamaica with a twenty-three- year-old. A friend of my daughter's. He had the fucking nerve to call me and ask me to borrow some money and I told him to fuck off, so he asked me to sell his singles collection and send him a check for whatever I go, minus a ten percent commission. Which reminds me. Can you make sure
-It must have taken him a long time to get them together.
-Look. Can I pay you properly? You don't have to tell him what you got. Send him forty-five bucks and blow the rest. Give it to charity. Or something.
-That wasn't part of the deal. I want to be poisonous but fair.
-Look... I... I'm sorry. I don't want to be any part of this.
-Suit yourself. There are plenty of others who will.
-That's why I'm trying to compromise. What about fifteen-hundred? They're worth five times that.
-Sixty.
-Thirteen hundred.
-Seventy-five.
-Eleven-hundred. That's my lowest offer.
-With eleven hundred he could come home, and that's the last thing I want.
-I'm sorry but I think you better talk to someone else.
-Can I buy this Otis Redding single off you?
-Sure. Ten cents.
-Oh, come on! Let me give you ten dollars for this, and you can give the rest away for all I care.
-Eno import. Sigue Sigue Sputnik. Break beats. Serge Gainsbourg. Ryuchi Sakamoto, Syd Barrett... What's going on here? Are you guys stealing for other people now?
-Naw. Those are for us.
-I think you have more.
-Well we don't.
-Jesus. That thing's been in the bargain bin for six months! Was it just your criminal nature or what? Hell, I would've given it to you for free.
-Uh, yes I, like, do... It's simple. You make the tracks -- recording studio -- deliver them to the pressing plant where a master is cut, the master is then dubbed to submasters, which are the "mothers," as their called, for each press in the plant. You press the CD's or records, put in your cover art, and that's it.
-Records are those big round black things, right?
-It's rough. But it shows promise. We record a couple of songs right, in a studio. I'll take care of the rest. I'll put out your record. Any profits after recouping expenses get split down the middle, between us and you guys.
-Wait a minute. Island Records charged U2 a million five against their overhead for one plane ride.
-We're not there yet, Justin.
-I'm Vince.
-We saw this ad in the personals for two swingers lookin' for a Renaissance fair.
-Nice.
-I can't figure out why he's doing it. He's been Richard Taupin at least since 1967. And the guys rich. You should see the stuff he has in that shop.
-Maybe he's hiding from something.
-Probably just some exec ducking an ex-wife.
-Dr. Kidell had a picture in his file of the funeral. The father looked just like Richard. Even had a mark on his cheek.
-How old is Richard?
-P.D. says 41, but he barely looks 30.
-Taupin, isn't that the guy Moran picked up the other night?
-Yeah.
-He'd want to know about all this.
-Mr. Congeniality? Let him find his own clues. There's a journal article in this somewhere.
-Well, the cream of society awaits. If you're ever in the neighborhood...
-I warned you.
-Doesn't have a head, does he?
-How's your uncle? I hardly ever see him anymore.
-Didn't look like it came from "Toys-Are-Us", that's why I called you.
-Didn't think it was my buddy over there.
-Figured you knew more about swords than I did.
-Claymore.
-Huh?
-Scottish claymore. Take a French epee, add twenty pounds of ballast so it means business, and you've got a claymore.
-You're the expert.
-That stuff'll put you away if you're not careful.
-There was a Count. Count Dusan. He would invite the local peasants to his chateau, fill them full of wine, then slice their bellies so he could reuse it. The symmetry of that somehow always appealed to me.
-You're very macabre.
-It's my birthday.
-Happy birthday.
-Would you like more tea?
-He was unsual.
-Why?
-Well, this is a small town, and it was even smaller then. Most all the babies I delivered were from local families. Richard's parents were just passing through when his mother's time came. I did it right here at the house.
-Then you didn't know Richard later on.
-No.
-I've been trying to find somebody who knew him and any connections his family might have had with museums or historical societies.
-Don't know about any of that. Suppose nobody does.
-I don't follow you.
-Poor little tyke didn't have a chance. Hopelessly premature. He died a few days after he was born.
-The boy _died_?
-Have you spoken to anyone else about this?
-There was this one fella. Asked a lot of questions. I was out of town but I heard he spent near a full day in the records office.
-Would you remember his name?
-This is against the rules.
-So's playing choo-choo with two high school cheerleaders in the middle of-
--Okay okay.
-Taupin, Richard Marshall. Born March 16, 1945 in Church Hill, Maryland. Received first driver permit 1967 in Philadelphia.
-Church Hill, that's pretty close, isn't it?
-Do you play?
-Yes.
-Miss Cartwright, what is it I can do for you?
-I'd like to ask you about the claymore.
-It's not mine.
-It's quite rare you know, some- thing so common in its time so well looked after all these years.
-Byzantine?
-Basil the II.
-Charming guy, Basil. Once after beating an army of Serbians he blinded all but-
-Good reflexes.
-Someone beat you.
-Have you taken to touring small town cemetaries, Miss Cartwright?
-Grave robbers?
-Probably.
-Who?
-People like that rarely leave business cards.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-I think you do. Better yet, I don't think anything was stolen because nothing was there in the first place. And I think Mr. Smith, whoever he is, now knows that.
-You have an active imagination.
-I've been to Church Hill.
-I have friends.
-Jesus Christ.
-You'll be safe here. He won't kill in a church.
-Why not?
-Tradition.
-He tried to kill me last night.
-Where?
-Who is he?
-At the moment? Carl Smith.
-What will you do now?
-You needn't worry Miss Cartwright. I've been at this a very long time.
-He called you "MacLeod".
-Not your concern.
-I left a man dead in Felton. But you don't really care, do you?
-That bothers you?
-He was innocent.
-He's dead. Whatever I may or may not feel means exceedingly little to him now.
-What about me?
-You?
-I'm a witness to a murder. That seems to put me pretty high on your friend's chop list.
-Have you gone to the police?
-No.
-Why not? I'm sure they'd love to hear your story.
-I'd rather hear yours.
-You are being foolish.
-I'm a historian, Mr. Taupin. Only once in a lifetime do you stare history in the face.
-He sees me as a threat.
-No.
-No one knows you're here?
-No. I had to talk to you.
-You had to do _nothing_!
-You're wrong.
-You're a fool.
-Is this what you killed them with?
-You've been listening to rumors.
-Our cars were seen together in Felton. They're calling me an accessory to murder.
-What's all that?
-You did kill those men.
-Not all of them.
-When you finish, what then?
-I go my way and you can write all you want about the big bad Mr. Taupin.
-You make it all sound so simple.
-The only real difficulty comes in changing over the ownership of property I've aquired. That requires certain records and most importantly a personal appearance at the county seat in Gettysburg. But that's where you come in.
-You want me to front for you.
-There was a man once. Just a simple woodcarver. But he understood. More than anyone he could see to the heart of it. It never ends. Today is the same as the first. Tomorrow will be the same as today. So much time. And all of it wasted. You love history?
-Yes.
-The estate stuff is pretty straight forward. Just lots of forms and an appearance at the county seat.
-No. So what now? We just wait?
-Yes.
-It's some sort of party the town is throwing.
-They do it each year.
-Maybe it would do us both good.
-Here, try this. I suppose they're still making women the same as back then.
-It's beautiful.
-I don't know any of these. I'll make a fool of myself.
-William Taupin seems to have left his mark.
-Yes.
-And you are William Taupin, aren't you?
-You're using your son's name.
-Then you must be at least 70 years old.
-At least.
-It's frightening sometimes the way you talk about other people's lives.
-A factor of age.
-I hope I never get that old.
-I must be insane. Leaving work, ditching cops. All to follow a murderer. A very old murderer, but a murderer just the same.
-Why are you here?
-I've been telling myself it's the award winning journal article I'm going to write. But it's not. It's you.
-I see.
-I'm not even sure why.
-Hardly a reason to run off with a murderer.
-My life has been chock full of people with complications and weak- nesses. I can't stand it. But you're different. It's in your hands. A clarity.
-You are a very perceptive young woman.
-Who are you?
-That would be difficult to explain.
-I carried that rifle in World War I. This book is a 16th Century policy report for the King of Austria. The diploma is my con- ference of degree in Latin from Trinity College. Class of 1672. It goes on.
-That's why Smith called you MacLeod.
-Yes.
-He knows about you.
-He is older than I.
-What could possibly be worth all this murder and distruction.
-Sometimes I think it's just for something to do. A conquest to be the last. Something to hold onto while everything else around you withers and blows away. Some- thing to replace the love that can never work.
-That's insane.
-Perhaps. There is something more. An inheritance.
-Of bodies.
-I didn't kill the watchman.
-You killed those other two.
-Not the same.
-What about that family in '31?
-Sometimes innocents become involved.
-You and your buddy make a real team, don't you? Exchanging eloquent threats in iambic pen- tameter while hacking up all the innocents in between.
-There are differences.
-You kill with your left hand?
-I haven't killed _you_.
-Don't.
-Come here, Brenna.
-What is it like? Being you?
-Empty. And fear. Fear of those that would kill you and fear of those that would love you. It can never last, and in the end you always end up destroying both.
-But you're known so much. History I'll only read about.
-It's all the same. Half lives that never go away.
-What is it you want?
-Gettysburg's an hour's drive at most. You should be back by nightfall.
-Will I see you again?
-What's wrong?
-What is it?
-Get out.
-No!
-The emptyness. The years and years of void. Nothingness. Bordered only by the quest for ultimate nothingness. Who would have guessed?
-The inheritance.
-Life. It is the gift and the under- standing of life.
-You have lived forever.
-It will be horrible. The future. I may die tomorrow or 10,000 tomorrows. I can promise you nothing. Nothing but a moment. Maybe two. But a moment of love, is that not worth a lifetime?
-Forget it.
-I'm just curious.
-Aren't you getting a little old for this? You flunked out of law school.
-Now there's a new topic.
-Forgers do it all the time. They take the birth certificate of some- one who died young and use it to get legit I.D. Usually they carry it long enough to pass some bad checks then dump it.
-Thanks.
-A murder.
-You better have a warrant. That's my notebook, you've got no right to be sticking your fingers into it.
-I've got a morgue filling up with bodies. That's my right.
-What do you want from me?
-I'm calling an attorney.
-You and I should talk first.
-What are you going to tell them? That you're protecting a man who's killed four people?
-Four?
-All fashionably without heads.
-Spare me the details.
-But there's more. Wednesday someone played javelin with the cemetary curator in Felton, Delaware. Some locals spotted two cars with D.C. plates and surprise surprise, they turn out to be registered to our own Brenna Cartwright and the ever popular Richard Taupin.
-What are you getting at, Moran?
-You've been a busy little beaver. Especially with that records mess up in Church Hill. Your notes are very complete. Naturally my feelings were crushed when you didn't rush right over and tell us what you knew. In fact, we're considering book- ing the ambulence chaser as an accessory to murder.
-It'll never stick.
-But we might just give it the 'ole college try. What with the court back ups, it could be days before you got an arraignment. But then, I'm sure the flunk-out neice of the D.A. knows all about that.
-You're an asshole, Moran.
-I want Taupin.
-What makes you so sure he's the one?
-Just for laughs we raided wonder boy's house. There was a gallon of one of the corpse's blood in his carpet. I think it was about then I withdrew his name for humanitarian of the year.
-What's all of this got to do with me?
-What were you doing in Felton?
-Research. If your pal was there I never saw him.
-I have witnesses that can put the two of you together.
-Never take up poker, Detective.
-Come on Brenna, your ass is already in a sling, don't drag me into it.
-All I need is for you to check the name.
-You talked to your supervisor lately? He's burning up the place about you just dropping out of sight. That on top of the cops bugging him.
-Corey, you _owe_ me.
-It's that important?
-Good way to lose your job.
-Some job. Card filing and cabinet dusting. Four years in this dump and I haven't written anything for Wilson that a wounded yak couldn't do.
-I liked the bit you did about Baltic chastity belts. Too bad no one else did.
-It's bullshit. Everything. My job, the people I get involved with, I'm up to here with it.
-Who is it?
-I don't believe him.
-Why?
-Hang on a sec, you did your little favor for the boys downtown, I'm sure your uncle and the rest are perfectly capable of taking it from here.
-Someone should check him out. Maybe a collection somewhere got knocked over. He has one, he might have two.
-You see that desk? _Your_ desk? You see the crap piled up on it?
-Requiem acer'nam donaei-
-What are you doing man?
--Et lux perpetua-
-You'll not be bringing the church into this.
-Be quiet.
--Auditorium nostrum-
-Stop.
--In nomine sanctus esperitu-
-Afternoon.
-Your name is Conor?
-Aye.
-Juan Cid Romirez. Chief surveyor and alchemist.
-You're not from these parts.
-I haven't much to offer, Mr. Romirez from Spain, but you're welcome to what's here.
-Your back, it would seem perhaps you were injured in battle?
-Five years past me clan fought another over some- thing I cannot even re- member.
-Your marks would suggest great injury.
-I was nearly killed.
-I did at that.
-And but for a mark you are well as any man, no?
-Aye.
-I was driven out.
-And now you live in a small village miles away from all you knew.
-How can you know this?
-Hmm, que rico. What is it you call this?
-Pheasant.
-You Scots have a way with game. It still has life in it. Spirit. Back home the food is so...domestic.
-Why are you here?
-I was sent by his majesty of Spain to Inverness as a con- sultant on matters of metal.
-You're a long way from Inverness.
-In my travels I heard the story of the MacLeod boy struck down and brought from the hand of death by powers not of this Earth.
-You know me home. Me name.
-When I was a boy a cart driven by a drunken fool crushed me. All thought I would die or be maimed for life. But I healed quickly. And like you I paid the price for being different.
-You are the same?
-Do you ever feel a flow, as if some- thing were pushing against you?
-Yes. Always.
-Does it change with me in the room?
-It is less.
-You feel you know me.
-I don't know why.
-He told me there could be only one.
-Some cling to sanity through time with the one continuity and trad0 ition their lives have known: The Game. You and I Conor, we are different from all others around us. You know this, you can feel it. We are flesh and bone like any man, but unlike our neighbors we are rather difficult to injure, permanently.
-I don't understand.
-You are still so very young.
-I'm twenty-two.
-Conor, you and I, we cannot be killed.
-What?
-It is as you are.
-Listen to me. Hear the words.
-This is madness!
-It is the truth.
-Three days you've laid there. It's time you ate.
-This can't be.
-You are not dead, boy. Accept it.
-This is monstrous. I'll burn in hell for all eternity.
-What is to become of me? Am I to wander the Earth forever like a ghost?
-You will live. Survive.
-Then they were right. I am evil. This is God's punishment.
-You have done nothing wrong Conor MacLeod.
-Why does he want to kill me?
-You recall how I spoke of the push you feel and how I make it less?
-Aye.
-It is always less with my living. Far or near. But if I were to die the push would become stronger than ever before. There is power in this. And as long as you and I live, The Knight can never have it all.
-But we cannot be killed.
-There is an imperfection. For all your healing, if your head ever leaves your neck, you are dead. You can survive anything but steel against your threat. Then it is over. The end.
-How can I stop such a man?
-Hide. Run to the ends of the Earth till you learn. You must learn to defend yourself. In this I can help.
-Why?
-Harder. Concentrate harder.
-Me arm hurts.
-Harder! You swing like an impotent cow!
-Go to hell.
-Impotent cow.
-It will take less effort as you learn.
-You have a gift. One you must protect.
-And what is this great gift that cannot be seen or smelt?
-The Fabric of life. The spark that allows the passing of existence from one generation to another.
-You're no match for Scot, Mr. Romirez. We're raised as riders.
-What is the fascinatioon? It is only a leaf.
-As they age they contribute to a sum that is the kindling from which all future life comes. To feel it, to know it, is to be in touch with the will of every living thing.
-I do not think I like the sound of that.
-It does not feel nearly as frightening as it sounds. But the consequences of such feelings can be very frightening. For it gives you great strength. The strength of _knowledge_. The ability to stand between the giving of what has always been to what will always be.
-I feel hardly nothing.
-You have not been fully trained. But you will learn. And you will be good, I can feel that. You have apt- itude. This is why our friend is so concerned.
-But why be so concerned about me?
-This power is divided amongst you, me, and others like cuts in a pie. But the cuts are not equal. Some, like you and he, have more. Much more.
-And you?
-I am a small player. But if by helping you I can keep that monster from being the last, then perhaps my life has meant something.
-I am not ready for this.
-You must be. You have responsibilities. You must learn the rules. You can never attract attention to yourself, never show the side that will draw others to you. You will always know when you are in the presence of another. Beware. But more importantly Conor MacLeod, will be your battle against time. In the coming years you will see kingdoms rise then rot like
-Of course.
-You are young, inexperienced. You do not know what time can do. How it can sap all pity, all love.
-That is not me.
-Go ahead, Senor. I have my friend to keep me company.
-I'm your future husband, remember?
-I have no future husband.
-My future husband died in battle against the Sutherlands.
-What are you saying? I'm standing here as real as you.
-You cannot be real, Conor. You had the last rites. No man has been cut half as bad and lived.
-But I did live.
-Live? In less than a week you're prancing about the country like a squirrel.
-So why the crazy talk? It's a miracle it is. Saint Andrew has smiled on me. On us.
-Some think not.
-Who?
-There's rumor in the village. Some call it magic.
-That's mad. Surely you don't take their word?
-I don't know, Conor. It's not natural. Maybe something has touched you.
-You're sounding like that mad woman, Widow Baggins.
-Please not be touching me, Conor.
-I'll not take that kind of talk from you. From those others below, maybe. But not from you.
-Leave me alone, Conor. Please.
-If you send me away now, Mara, I'll not come looking for you.
-Oh please. Another one.
-What would you like?
-Something pretty.
-That's wonderful. Where did you ever learn it?
-Far away.
-David.
-Who am I deceiving?
-State of grace and all that.
-Tradition.
-Not so scared.
-Perhaps not. You seem to have misplaced a private. No doubt by now his head is stranger to his neck.
-No doubt.
-You surprise me. Eliminating a rival like that. Such are the actions of a man of conquest. I was mistaken. 300 years have turned the boy's fear into ambit- ion.
-You're wrong.
-Romirez understood. Not you.
-Finish your prayers?
-Finish yours?
-Our common heritage. I am your only real friend, you know. The only one who truly understands you. I look forward to the day we meet again. And I kill you.
-Complete your inspection?
-They're nothing but boys. It will be a slaughter tomorrow.
-I doubt much can change that. The enemy has five brigades waiting for us.
-We need more time.
-Eat up Dupont. It will probably be your last.
-Your name?
-I thought I gave orders the regiment was to drill.
-Staff sargeant detailed me to prepare firewood for the break- fast cooking.
-What is your position?
-Second musketeer.
-I understand you joined up in Bremen.
-You seem to understand a great deal.
-I am a Major, Private. You would do well remembering that when addressing me.
-Excuse me, "sir". I thought we spoke as equals.
-Equals?
-Wait. I think we understand each other.
-We have no understanding.
-Help? I've seen others "help". Somehow a head always ended up on the counter.
-It can be different. It must be.
-We must talk.
-Stay out of it.
-Don't threaten me, Private.
-Do not turn your back on me.
-You are really going to force this, aren't you?
-You see Major? You are not so different...
-Ah, Conor, how you look a man.
-Your grandfather wore that in his service to the King, and I to fight for the Duke.
-Must he go?
-Aye. It is his duty. All of ours.
-But Ian, he's still but a boy.
-Here. The hook should go just below the head, where the meat is toughest.
-Fish are creatures of habit. They like their food where they're used to it. At the top, hiding in old leaves.
-Where did you learn that?
-My father taught me.
-Your father must be smart.
-I want people in here to check over every piece of this stuff.
-Figure she's with him?
-Yeah.
-We ran down that Church Hill info. She's right. There is no Richard Taupin.
-Any other I.D.s come up?
-Should have seen him the first night. Son of a bitch stood there with a quart of blood on his pant leg and didn't even blink.
-Are you sure?
-Won't know till the records department comes back with it this after- noon. Looks good though. They found the receipt in his townhouse. It was pretty smeared but had Taupin's father listed as a signatory.
-Round up who you can and put them on standby.
-Think we should call the local P.D. out there first?
-Where!
-I don't know.
-Smith. Carl Smith.
-How many came?
-The last four.
-And the Bulgarian?
-He got him. He always does. Eventually.
-He knows I'm here. How?
-_Answer_ me.
-Spare a chair?
-Kahn?
-Are you going to offer me a chair or leave me standing here all night?
-How are you?
-Head still secure to the neck.
-How did you find me?
-Old habits die hard. Waitress! A round of Nitzhic! Peasant drool, I know. But it's the closest thing they stock to my side of the fence.
-What are you doing here?
-And have you something to settle with me?
-Not tonight. Tonight I have a drink with an old friend.
-I'll never forget the look on that Papal commander's face when his "heretic stronghold" turned out to be a rock full of whores climbing all over Neuvich.
-Neuvich, the clown of the crusades.
-But then rides up Pope Pius who calmly brushes the dust from his papal cross, climbs off his papal horse, draws his papal sword and asks just what the hell is going on. And what did Neuvich, dear dear drunken Neuvich do?
-Had a great swing with his blade. For a Pope.
-He found us even there.
-I haven't drunk this much since-
-I love zoos. Ever since I was a kid.
-I knew his great-grandfather.
-You're insane.
-No, seriously. We used to shoot pool together in Rangoon.
-How do you do it, Kahn? How do you live so full of life for so long?
-Tasting and enjoying life is the only thing of value we have. All else is just marking time. You're marking time.
-The pressure only comes when you let the taste slip into your mouth.
-You're wrong.
-Long time.
-You've been here from the start.
-Friend of yours?
-Of sorts.
-Run!
-You disappoint me. I thought you'd finally gotten over that sort of thing.
-Leave her out of this.
-What's the point?
-This isn't done. Get up.
-What's the point! You have me, finish it!
-I have waited forever for this. You will not cheapen it, little boy.
-Tradition.
-It's all we have.
-Perhaps Miss Cartwright would like to play.
-Leave her alone.
-We have some unfinished business.
-Are you here?
-I want you to come to me.
-And if I refuse?
-Yes laddie, I have her.
-This your present address?
-Yes.
-Mr.- Taupin, what were you doing in that alley?
-I was walking by when I heard a shout. Your men came right after.
-Did you know the victim?
-No.
-His name was Iman Fasil if that jogs your memory.
-It doesn't.
-Two days ago a Bulgarian national was murdered the same way. He'd also been in the country less than a week. What is your citizenship?
-Do you make a habit of hanging out in that neigh- borhood at night?
-What are you getting at?
-What were _you_ looking for?
-That's none of your business.
-Do you know what this is?
-I presume it's a sword.
-A claymore to be exact. You wouldn't know anything about it would you?
-Your murder weapon?
-It was covered with Mr. Fasil's fingerprints, but none of his blood.
-A mystery.
-My condolences.
-Where were you Tuesday night?
-Home.
-A neighbor saw your car leave.
-Look, I don't know what the hell you're up to, but I think I've got a pretty good idea.
-Do you?
-All I need is time.
-Ah Steven, it is good to see you.
-I only just heard of Conor. I came up from Catroch as soon as I could.
-You're a kind man to be sure.
-I thought it only proper to pay me last respects to the family.
-Steven, Conor didn't die.
-But I had heard his wounds were mortal.
-When your father died I saw to it that the grounds were kept up.
-The money in the estate was enough to cover your costs?
-You're one of William's kids, huh?
-His only kid.
-Sure take after him. Never seen a father and son look more alike.
-We were very close.
-The resemblance is amazing.
-When may I expect the cleaners?
-Morning Mr. North
-Same.
-Such a pretty day. If I live to be 90 I'll never tire of mornings like this. Mind you I'm 74 now.
-No.
-Yes sir. When you get older your priorities change. It's the simple things that count. Without them growing old can be a very lonely thing.
-Nothing to be sorry about.
-Hello, Harvard! Got anything new on the hanging?
-This is Murphy. More slop on the hanging.
-A double guard's been thrown around the jail, municipal buildings, railroad terminals, and elevated stations to prepare for the expected general uprising of radicals at the hour of execution.
-Ready? The Sheriff's just put two hundred more relatives on the payroll to protect the city against the Red Army -- which is leaving Moscow in a couple of minutes. Up a dime.
-The Sheriff has just received four more letters threatening his life, but he says nothing can interfere with his duty.
-Can't you say 'hello' to a fellow?
-Are you back?
-No, just a farewell appearance, batting for Sweeney. I'm going into business for myself.
-What doing?
-I'm getting married tomorrow.
-Who is it?
-What's the idea of locking this?
-Bensinger -- of the Tribune.
-Ain't you got any more sense than to -- ? Oh, h-hello, Mr. Burns. Why, quite an honor having you come over here.
-Hello, Bensinger.
-How do you mean?
-I was having a little chat about you just this afternoon -- with our Mister Duffy.
-Nothing -- ah -- detrimental, I hope.
-I should say not! That was one swell story you had in the paper this morning.
-Oh, did you -- care for the poem, Mr. Burns?
-The poem?... The poem was great!
-Remember the ending? " -- and all is well, outside his cell, But in his heart he hears the hangman Calling and the gallows falling And his white-haired mother's tears..."
-Heartbreaking! How would you like to work for me?
-Duffy! I'm sending Bensinger over to see you. Mervyn, isn't it?
-No. Roy. Roy V.
-Of course! Roy Bensinger, the poet. Of course you wouldn't know! You probably never heard of Shakespeare, either! Put Mr. Bensinger right on the staff. How much are you getting on the Tribune, Roy?
-Seventy-five.
-Let him have everything he wants. Now hustle and write me a story from the point of view of the escaped man. He hides, cowering... Afraid of every light, of every sound... hears footsteps... his heart going like that... And all the time they're closing in... Get the sense of an animal at bay!
-Sort of a Jack London style?
-I got my rhyming dictionary in --
-I'll keep you in mind.
-Au revoir, mon capitaine.
-I won't be more than ten minutes, I promise you.
-I said -- uh -- I said even ten minutes -- is a long time -- to be away from you.
-Don't be embarrassed, Bruce. I heard it, but I just wanted to hear it again. I can stand being spoiled a little. The gentleman I'm going to have a chat with did very little spoiling.
-I'd like to spoil him just once. Sure you don't want me to go in with you?
-My job, Bruce. I started it -- and I'll finish it.
-I suppose you're right -- but if it gets rough, remember I'm here.
-Oh, it isn't like that.
-You know, Hildy, he's not a bad fellow.
-You're so nice, Bruce, you think everybody else is.
-Oh, he's not the man for you. I can see that. But I sort of like him. Got a lot of charm.
-He comes by it naturally. His grandfather was a snake.
-If anybody had told me I'd be sitting at lunch with him -- but he swept me right off my feet.
-Too hot?
-Say, what's happened to Burns? He looks sunk, doesn't he?
-I don't use my wife for business purposes, Mr. Burns!
-Wait a minute, Bruce. What's commission on a $100,000.00 policy?
-Well, at his age, twenty payment life, a little over a thousand dollars.
-And what's the matter with a thousand dollars?
-But --
-According to the budget, we laid out that's more than our food bill for a whole year. Listen, Bruce, I don't want Walter Burns to use me, but I'm perfectly willing to use him. How long will it take to get him examined?
-About twenty-five hundred dollars.
-All right, dear.
-Wait a minute, Bruce. Have you got that money?
-The five hundred? Sure.
-On second thought, would you let me have it? I'll get the tickets.
-But --
-Believe me, Bruce, I know what I'm doing. He'd get you in a crap game --
-But I don't gamble, Hilda!
-I know a lot of men who didn't do anything till they met Walter Burns. Please, dear.
-All right. One -- two -- three -- four -- five. Five hundred. Be careful, honey.
-Hildy Johnson... Oh, hello, Bruce. Have you got it? Is it certified?
-All right. I've done it. Now, are you satisfied?
-What's the matter?
-I lost my wallet.
-That's right here. Gee, it was lucky your telling me about that old newspaper superstition.
-Yes, wasn't it?
-I can't imagine who did it. I can't think of any enemies I have.
-I'm sure you haven't any.
-For a minute, I thought maybe Walter Burns was at the back of it. But then I realized he couldn't have been.
-Oh, no. How could you ever think of such a thing?
-Oh, I realized right away. He's really a very nice fellow, Hildy -- I found that out.
-Yes, he is... Look, Bruce, we're taking that next train -- and when I say next train, this time I mean it!
-Did you finish the interview?
-No -- but I'm sure it'll be all right with Walter.
-But, gee, Hildy -- he gave us that insurance business -- and you promised --
-Hildy!
-BRUCE!! How'd you get out?
-Not through any help of yours, Hildy.
-I waited and waited and then I had an idea and wired Albany to send me a hundred dollars so I could get out on bail... I don't know what they'll think -- they sent it to the police station!
-We'll explain the whole thing to them.
-I know I got you into this, Hildy, but it does seem to me that you can't care much for me if you're willing to let me stay locked up for two hours.
-Oh, she was here.
-Where'd she go?
-Hildy! Where's mother?
-Oh -- mother -- she -- I don't know where she went.
-Did you give her the money?
-No, I was going to give it to her -- but she left hurriedly.
-Then suppose you give me the money. Four hundred and fifty dollars.
-Here it is, Bruce. One -- two -- three -- four hundred -- and fifty dollars.
-Just a second, Walter. Here, Bruce, here's the check... And, oh, Bruce, here's your wallet. I got it back.
-I'm taking the nine o'clock train, Hildy. And you can meet us at the station.
-Mr. Burns --
-I've just told you I was busy with Mr. Bruce Baldwin!
-You're Bruce Baldwin?
-Yes!
-This is a pleasure, Mr. Baldwin, and I'm sorry about the mistake.
-
-Oh, I thought there was something funny... You see, Bruce, you don't mind if I call you Bruce, do you? After all, we're practically related --
-Mr. -- well -- no -- no -- not at all.
-You see, my wife -- I mean, your wife -- that is, I mean Hildy -- had led me to expect that she was marrying a much older man.
-Oh.
-But I see, she didn't mean old in years. You always carry an umbrella, Bruce?
-Well, er -- it looked a little cloudy this morning.
-Attaboy! Come on, Bruce.
-Where are we going?
-Where are we going? I'm going to buy you two lunch -- didn't Hildy tell you?
-No -- she didn't.
-Well, so you're getting married tomorrow, eh? How does it feel, Bruce?
-Feels awful good. Yes, sir -- we're taking the four o'clock train to Albany and tomorrow we'll be married.
-Mother? But your mother --
-No. My mother.
-I know I wasn't a good husband, Hildy, but you can always count on me.
-Well, I'll try to give her one.
-I know you will, Bruce. Are you going to live with your mother?
-Just for the first year.
-Mighty nice little town, Albany. They've got the State Capitol there, you know.
-How's business, Bruce?
-Well, Albany's a mighty good insurance town. Most people there take it out pretty early in life.
-I sometimes wish I'd taken out insurance -- but, of course, now it doesn't matter. Still, I suppose it would have been the smart thing to do.
-Well, I honestly feel that way. I figure I'm in one line of business that really helps people. Of course, we don't help you much when you're alive -- but afterward -- that's what counts.
-Anything the matter?
-Just what is the lowdown on Williams?
-Are you sure Williams is not all there?
-All you've got to do is talk to him. But the Mayor would hang his own grandmother to be re-elected.
-But couldn't you show the man wasn't responsible?
-How long would the interview take?
-Oh -- an hour for the interview. Another hour to write it.
-I never knew Hildy to be so determined before.
-I don't know. This makes me feel funny.
-Why shouldn't I make Hildy my beneficiary? I've got nobody else to leave it to.
-I feel I ought to take care of her.
-Well, you'll take care of her. After all, if that doctor's right, I'm going to live for a long time yet. Look, Bruce, this is a debt of honor. I was a very bad husband: Hildy could have got a lot of alimony if she'd wanted to, but she wouldn't take any. She had it coming to her, but she was too independent.
-Well, I'm independent, too.
-Figure it this way: I ought to be good for twenty-five years. By that time, you'll probably have made enough so that the money won't mean anything. But suppose you haven't made good -- don't you think Hildy's entitled to a quiet old age without any worries?
-Well, of course, if you put it that way.
-And remember this, Bruce! I love her, too.
-I'm beginning to realize that.
-And the beauty of it is she'll never have to know 'till I've passed on. Maybe she'll think kindly of me --- after I'm gone.
-Gee, you almost make me feel like a heel -- coming between you.
-Well, Bruce, here you are -- certified and everything.
-Well, she'll know some day.
-Don't want to forget this, you know. Might start to rain again.
-Well, anyway, I know Hildy's getting a good man.
-Well, I got to get back. You can find your way out, can't you?
-Oh, sure. Well, thanks for everything.
-Don't thank me. I should thank you. So long.
-Hildy!
-No -- I was just talking to one of the guys at the office.
-And I'll take that certified check, too. I've decided I can handle things around here...
-I'll see she's there, Bruce, I promise you.
-I know how you feel, Bruce, but you've got to forgive her. She's only a woman, after all.
-Suppose she is -- I have feelings, too! Do you know where I've been for the last couple of hours? Locked up in a police station and she didn't move to do anything about it.
-Ts! Ts! Ts!
-And now I don't know where my mother is. She may be lost.
-I'll find her, Bruce, if I have to put every detective in the city on the job. Tell you what -- go over to the Missing Persons Bureau and describe your mother. What does she look like?
-She's -- well, she's very motherly. That's about the best description I know.
-Oh, Bruce, let me see that money Hildy gave you.
-The money? Why?
-There's a lot of counterfeit big bills going around.
-Oh, this is all right, Bruce. I just wanted to be sure.
-Who do you think you are, breaking in here like this?
-If you've any accusations to make, Hartman, make them in the proper manner. Otherwise, I'll have to ask you to get out.
-You'll ask me to what?
-Get out!
-I can explain that, Hartman. When Hildy told me she wanted to interview Earl Williams I thought it might be dangerous and I gave her a gun to defend herself.
-You're barking up the wrong tree, Hartman.
-No? Well -- Johnson, you're under arrest. You, too, Burns.
-Who's under arrest? You pimple-headed, square-toed spy -- do you realize what you're doing?
-I'll show you what I'm doing. Burns, you're guilty of obstructing justice and so is the Morning Post. I'm going to see that the Post is fined ten thousand dollars for this.
-You'll see nothing of the kind, Sheriff.
-Hartman, if you take this desk out of this building, I'll put you behind bars.
-You will, eh? Well, we'll see about that. All right, boys. Take it.
-I'm warning you -- it'll be a Federal offense. And you'll be an accessory!
-What about this, Burns? Kidnapping, eh?
-Call Duffy!
-No, you don't!
-You're going to be in office for exactly two days more and then we're pulling your nose out of the feed bag.
-What's this?
-Does it? You forget the power that always watches over the Morning Post.
-Duffy! Get Liebowitz!
-All the lawyers in the world aren't going to help you!
-This is the Morning Post you're talking to!
-That's absurd on the face of it, Mr. Burns! He's talking like a child.
-Out of the mouths of babes.
-Save that for the Tribune.
-What do you want?
-Why, I'm surprised, Mr. Burns. That's no way to talk to your wife -- even if she's no longer your wife.
-Hello, Hildy!
-How long is what?
-You know what. How long since we've seen each other?
-Let's see. I was in Reno six weeks -- then Bermuda... Oh, about four months, I guess. Seems like yesterday to me.
-Maybe it was yesterday. Been seeing me in your dreams?
-No -- Mama doesn't dream about you any more, Walter. You wouldn't know the old girl now.
-You're repeating yourself! That's the speech you made the night you proposed. "-- any time -- any place -- anywhere!"
-I notice you still remember it.
-I'll always remember it. If I hadn't remembered it, I wouldn't have divorced you.
-You know, Hildy, I sort of wish you hadn't done it.
-Done what?
-Divorced me. It sort of makes a fellow lose faith in himself. It almost gives him a feeling he wasn't wanted.
-Holy mackerel! Look, Walter, that's what divorces are for.
-Nonsense. You've got the old-fashioned idea that divorces are something that last forever -- till 'death us do part'. Why, a divorce doesn't mean anything today. It's only a few words mumbled over you by a judge. We've got something between us nothing can change.
-I suppose that's true in a way. I am fond of you, Walter. I often wish you weren't such a stinker.
-Now, that's a nice thing to say.
-Well, why did you promise me you wouldn't fight the divorce and then try and gum up the whole works?
-Well, I meant to let you go -- but, you know, you never miss the water till the well runs dry.
-A fellow your age, hiring an airplane to write: 'Hildy: Don't be hasty -- remember my dimple. Walter.! It held things up twenty minutes while the Judge ran out to watch it.
-Well, I don't want to brag, but I've still got the dimple -- and in the same place -- I just acted like any husband who doesn't want to see his home broken up.
-Was it my fault? Did I know that coal mine was going to have another cave-in? I meant to be with you on our honeymoon, Hildy -- honest I did.
-All I know is that instead of two weeks in Atlantic City with my bridegroom, I spent two weeks in a coal mine with John Kruptzky -- age sixty-three -- getting food and air out of a tube! You don't deny that. Do you?
-Deny it! I'm proud of it! We beat the whole country on that story.
-Well, suppose we did? That isn't what I got married for. What's the good of -- Look, Walter, I came up here to tell you that you'll have to stop phoning me a dozen times a day -- sending twenty telegrams -- all the rest of it, because I'm --
-Let's not fight, Hildy. Tell you what. You come back to work on the paper and if we find we can't get along in a friendly way, we'll get married again.
-What?!!
-I haven't any hard feelings.
-Walter, you're wonderful in a loathesome sort of way. Now, would you mind keeping quiet long enough for me to tell you what I came up here for?
-Sure, come on. We'll have some lunch and you can tell me everything.
-I have a lunch date. I just want --
-You can break it, can't you?
-No, I can't.
-Sure you can. Come on.
-Don't tell me what to do! We're divorced -- I'm a free woman. You're not my husband and you're not my boss! And what's more, you're not going to be my boss.
-What do you mean by that?
-Just what I said. That's what I --
-You mean you're not coming back to work here?
-That's the first time you've been right today. That's what I --
-You've had a better offer, eh?
-You bet I've got a better offer.
-Well, go on and take it. Work for somebody else! That's the gratitude I get for --
-I know, Walter, but I --
-What were you when you came here five years ago? A little college girl from a School of Journalism! I took a little doll-faced mugg --
-You wouldn't have taken me if I hadn't been doll-faced!
-Why should I? I thought it would be a novelty to have a face around here a man could look at without shuddering.
-Listen, Walter --
-I made a great reporter out of you, Hildy, but you won't be half as good on any other paper, and you know it. You need me and I need you -- and the paper needs both of us.
-Well, the paper'll have to learn to do without me. And so will you. It just didn't work out, Walter.
-It would have worked if you'd been satisfied with just being editor and reporter. But no! You had to marry me and spoil everything.
-I wasn't satisfied! I suppose I proposed to you!
-Well, you practically did! Making goo-goo eyes at me for two years till I broke down. And I still claim I was tight the night I proposed. If you'd been a gentleman you'd have forgotten all about it. But not you!
-Sweeney! You can't do that to me! Not today, of all days! Jumping Jehosophat! Oh, no, Sweeney... Well, I suppose so... All right. If you have to, you have to. How do you like that? Everything happens to me -- with 365 days in the year -- this has to be the day.
-What's the matter?
-Sweeney.
-Dead?
-Not yet. Might just as well be. The only man on the paper who can write -- and his wife picks this morning to have a baby!
-Sweeney? Well, after all, he didn't do it on purpose, did he?
-I don't care whether he did or not. He's supposed to be covering the Earl Williams case and there he is -- waiting at the hospital! Is there no sense of honor left in this country?
-Well, haven't you got anybody else?
-There's nobody else on the paper who can write! This'll break me, unless -- Hildy!
-No!
-You've got to help me, Hildy.
-Keep away --
-It'll bring us together again, Hildy -- just the way we used to be.
-That's what I'm afraid of. "Any time -- any place -- anywhere!"
-Don't mock, Hildy, this is bigger than anything that's happened to us. Don't do it for me! Do it for the paper.
-Get away, Svengali.
-If you won't do it for love, how about money? Forget the other offer and I'll raise you twenty-five bucks a week.
-Listen, you bumble-headed baboon --
-All right -- thirty-five, and not a cent more!
-Please! Will you just --
-Great grief! What's that other paper going to give you?
-I'm not working for any other paper!
-Oh! In that case, the raise is off and you go back to your old salary and like it. Trying to blackjack --
-I tried to tell you right away but you started reminiscing. I'm getting married, Walter, and also getting as far away from the newspaper business as I can get! I'm through.
-Get married all you want to, Hildy, but you can't quit the newspaper business.
-You can't sell me that, Walter.
-Who says I can't? You're a newspaper man.
-That's why I'm quitting. I want to go some place where I can be a woman.
-I know you, Hildy, and I know what it would mean. It would kill you.
-A journalist! Peeking through keyholes -- running after fire engines -- waking people up in the middle of the night to ask them if they think Hitler's going to start a war -- stealing pictures off old ladies of their daughters that got chased by apemen! I know all about reporters -- a lot of daffy buttinskies going around without a nickel in their
-Where'd you meet this man?
-Bermuda.
-Bermuda... Rich, eh?
-Not what you'd call rich. Makes about five thousand a year.
-What's his line?
-He's in the insurance business.
-The insurance business?
-It's a good, honest business, isn't it?
-Oh sure, it's honest. But somehow, I can't picture you with a guy who sells policies.
-Well, I can, and I love it! He forgets the office when he's with me. He doesn't treat me like an errand-boy -- he treats me like a woman.
-He does, does he? How did I treat you -- like a water buffalo?
-I don't know about water buffaloes, but I know about him. He's kind and sweet and considerate. He wants a home -- and children.
-Say, sounds more like a guy I ought to marry. What's his name?
-Well, I'll give you a hint. By tomorrow they'll be calling me Mrs. Bruce Baldwin.
-Tomorrow? Tomorrow... as quick as that?
-The quicker the better. Well -- I finally got out what I came in to tell you. So long, Walter, and better luck next time.
-I wish you everything I couldn't give you, Hildy.
-Thanks...
-Too bad I couldn't see this guy first. I'm pretty particular about whom my wife marries.
-Well, he's waiting in the anteroom for me now.
-Say, could I meet him?
-Oh, better not, Walter. Wouldn't do any good.
-You're not afraid, are you?
-Afraid? I should say not!
-All right then, come on and let's see this paragon. Is he as good as you say?
-Then what does he want with you?
-Now you got me.
-You wouldn't believe this, Walter, but Bruce holds the door open for me.
-And he takes his hat off when he's with a lady.
-What for?
-And when he walks with a lady, he waits for her!
-Allow me.
-I suppose I can't call this off without creating a scene -- but remember, it's your last fling.
-Well, I'll tell you one thing, old man, she never looked at me the way she's looking at you.
-I might have, Walter, but you were never there.
-Here's luck to the bride and bridegroom.
-What now?
-His wife had twins and he went out to celebrate and got as drunk as a lord. They can't even find him. I tell you, drink is the ruin of this nation.
-You said it.
-If he's nuts, why doesn't the State just put him away?
-Because it happened to be a colored policeman.
-The colored vote happens to be very important to the Mayor of this town.
-No, Bruce, dear. Don't you see? This is a trick to get your sympathy. No, Walter, I've been waiting for something like this -- but I wasn't sure when you'd spring it. If you want to save Earl Williams' life, you can interview him yourself. You're still a good reporter. Bruce and I will be on that four o'clock train -- and thanks just
-I'm an editor. I know what ought to be written, but I can't write it the way you could. It needs a woman's heart --
-Why, Walter, you're getting poetic!
-How can you have any happiness after that? All through the years you'll remember that a man went to the gallows because you were too selfish to wait two hours! I tell you, Earl Williams' face will come between you on the train tonight -- and at the preacher's tomorrow -- and all the rest of your lives!
-What a performance! Bravo! Don't let him fool you, Bruce -- it's only an act!
-What do you mean, only an act? Haven't you got any feeling?
-Well, it's either an act on your part or a miracle on Sweeney's.
-What do you mean?
-I happen to know Sweeney was married only three months ago. If he's got twins this morning, I claim it was done with mirrors.
-All right, Hildy, I'm licked. But I'll make you and Bruce a business proposition.
-We're not interested.
-Now you're talking!
-You keep out of this. Bruce, suppose you examine Mr. Burns in his office. I'll get my bag and go over to the Press Room in the Criminal Courts Building. You phone me as soon as Mr. Burns has given you his check. Then I'll go get the interview and you phone Mother that we're taking the six o'clock train. And no tricks, Walter!
-What tricks would I pull?
-What do you think I am -- a crook?
-Yes --- and that's putting it mildly! No certified check -- no story -- Get me?
-All right. The check will be certified. Want my fingerprints?
-Exclusive? That's great.
-It cost me four hundred and fifty bucks to tear it out of Cooley.
-Never mind that. What's the story?
-Never mind it? That's not my money! That's Bruce's money!
-You'll get it. Now what's the story? I'll have the paper send the money right down to you. I swear it on my mother's grave.
-Wait a minute. Your mother's alive.
-I meant on my grandmother's grave. Don't be so technical, Hildy. What's the story?!
-Well, I'm coming to it. It seems the Professor had to have a gun to re- enact the crime with -- and who do you suppose supplied it? Nobody else but that great thinker, Sheriff Hartman!
-No kidding, Hildy. Say, this isn't a rib?
-No, this is on the level, Walter. I'm not good enough to make this one up. The Sheriff gave his gun to the Professor, the Professor gave it to Earl, and Earl gave it right back to the Professor -- right in the stomach! Who? No, Egelhoffer wasn't hurt badly. They took him to the County Hospital where they're afraid he'll recover.
-That's great work, Hildy... Huh? Oh, will you stop worrying about the money? I'll see you get it in fifteen minutes.
-It better be fifteen minutes, because Bruce is waiting downstairs in a taxicab and that meter's clicking away to beat the band.
-Walter! D-did you see -- -- that?
-Yes. Where is he?
-She jumped out of the window.
-Where do you think you're going?
-Let go o' me! I've got to get Bruce out of jail! Oh, Walter, why did you have to do this to me?
-Get Bruce out of jail! How can you worry about a man who's resting comfortably in a quiet police station while this is going on? Hildy, this is war! You can't desert now!
-Oh, get off that trapeze! There's your story! Smear it all over the front page -- Earl Williams caught by the Morning Post! And take all the credit -- I covered your story for you and I got myself in a fine mess doing it -- and now I'm getting out! I know I told you that twice before today -- but this time
-You drooling idiot! What do you mean, you're getting out! There are three hundred and sixty-five days in the year one can get married -- but how many times have you got a murderer locked up in a desk? -- Once in a lifetime! Hildy, you've got the whole city by the seat of the pants!
-I know, but --
-You know! You've got the brain of a pancake! That wasn't just a story you covered -- it was a revolution! Hildy! This is the greatest yarn in journalism since Livingstone discovered Stanley for the New York Herald!
-Wait a minute -- wasn't it Stanley who discovered Livingstone?
-Don't get technical at a time like this! Do you realize what you've done? You've taken a city that's been graft-ridden for forty years under the same old gang and with this yarn you're kicking 'em out and giving us a chance to have the same kind of government that New York's having under La Guardia! We'll make such monkeys out of these ward-heelers
-I'd like to think.
-Well, think it then, because it's true! We'll crucify that mob. We're going to keep Williams under cover till morning so the Post can break the story exclusive. Then we'll let the Governor in on the capture -- share the glory with him.
-I get it!
-You've kicked over the whole City Hall like an apple-cart. You've got the Mayor and Hartman backed against a wall. You've put one administration out and another in. This isn't a newspaper story -- it's a career! And you stand there belly-aching about whether you catch an eight o'clock train or a nine o'clock train! Still a doll-faced mugg! That's all you are.
-Let me get at that typewriter and I'll show you how a doll-faced mugg can write!
-Attagirl! Why, they'll be naming streets after you -- Hildy Johnson Street! There'll be statues of you in the parks, Hildy. The radio'll be after you -- the movies! By tomorrow morning I'll betcha there's a Hildy Johnson cigar! I can see the billboards now. Light up with Hildy Johnson!
-Whoa -- wait a minute. We can't leave Williams here. One of the other fellows'll --
-We're going to take him over to my private office. Where's our phone?
-Not if he's inside the desk. We'll carry the desk over. Give me Duffy!
-You can't take that desk out. It's crawling with cops outside.
-Hildy!
-Huh!
-Get the lead out of your typewriter and start pounding out a load, will you? Snap into it!
-How much do you want on it?
-All the words you've got.
-Can I call the Mayor a bird of prey -- or is that libelous?
-How about the time he had his house painted by the Fire Department?
-For Pete's sake, Hildy, they're waiting for the rest of that story!
-Hildy!
-Listen, did you impress it on Butch that I want him and his gang here right away? You did? Every minute counts. All right. Duffy's getting old!
-Well, keep going! We want an extra out on the streets before it's too late!
-Where's Bruce?
-Bruce? Oh -- er -- he went out to get the tickets.
-What tickets?
-Railroad tickets.
-Is he coming back here?
-Double-crossing swine!
-Tear into it, will you? Don't sit there like a frozen robin!
-I'm finished.
-Bruce ought to be back by now. Walter, you're not trying anything again, are you?
-Where's Mrs. Baldwin?
-What did you do with her?
-What happened?
-Where is she? Tell me!
-Don't tell me -- was she killed?
-It's Fate, Hildy. What will be, will be.
-What am I going to say to Bruce? What'll I tell him?
-If he really loves you, you won't have to tell him anything. Snap out of it! Would you rather have had the old dame dragging the whole police force in here?
-Look at me, Hildy --
-I'm looking at you -- you murderer!
-If it was my own mother, I'd carry on! You know I would. For the paper!
-Hello -- hello...
-Gimme Western four-five-five-seven.
-Who? Hello, Butch! Where are you?
-Mission Hospital? Gimme the Receiving Room.
-What are you doing there? Haven't you even started?
-Hello -- Eddie? Hildy Johnson. Was there an old lady brought in from an auto smashup?
-Oh, for -- H. Sebastian -- Butch! Listen, it's a matter of life and death! Listen!
-Nobody? Morningside three-one-two-four.
-I can't hear... You got who? Speak up! A what?... You can't stop for a dame now!
-Is this the Community Hospital?
-I don't care if you've been after her for six years! Butch, our whole lives are at stake! Are you going to let a woman come between us after all we've been through?
-Hello, Max, Hildy Johnson. Was there an old lady --?
-Butch! I'd put my arm in fire for you -- up to here! Now, you can't double-cross me!... She does? All right -- put her on. I'll talk to her... Hello! Oh, hello, Madam... Now listen, you ten-cent glamour girl, you can't keep Butch away from his duty... What's that? You say that again and I'll come over there and knock your eye out!
-Shut up, will you? You sure? Nobody?
-Lafayette two-one-hundred.
-Ring that number, will you?
-Come here. See if we can move it.
-Hello -- hello! Is this the Lying -- In Hospital? Did you have an auto accident in the last --
-Will you come here?
-Oh, I see. I beg your pardon.
-When I'm surrounded, with my back against the wall, you're not going to lay down on me, are you --
-Hildy, you just can't leave me out on a limb now. It -- it wouldn't be cricket!
-Don't open that!
-No, you don't! Walter!
-No!
-Wait a minute! Let go there!
-Murder, uh?
-When did you deliver this first?
-Which ought to be about three hours more, I'd say.
-Just until we can get out a special edition asking for your impeachment.
-How was that for a tight squeeze?
-Don't tell me you were worried!
-Worried! I was petrified. Weren't you?
-Uh-uh. As long as we were in there together pitching -- they couldn't lick us. Well, it's been a lot of fun.
-In a way.
-I mean -- working together. Just like the old days. The things we've been through, Hildy.
-We've certainly been in some swell jams.
-Remember the time we broke into the D.A.'s office, and copied Fifi Randell's diary?
-Yeah. What about the time we hid the missing heiress in the sauerkraut factory? Six scoop interviews!
-Yeah - but that time we stole Old Lady Haggerty's stomach off the Coroner's physician. We proved she was poisoned though, didn't we?
-We sure did, but we had to go in hiding for a week.
-In the Shoreland Hotel. And our only chaperon was the poor old lady's stomach.
-Sorry, Hildy. I didn't mean to be making love to another man's fiancee.
-That's all right, Walter. It's as much my fault as yours.
-Bruce is making the nine o'clock train. I told him you'd be on it -- unless you want to write this story yourself.
-Well, if it's my last story, I'd like it to be a good one. But -- I guess I can't, Walter.
-Suit yourself, kid. This isn't for me to decide. Of course, you could make a later train and still be in Albany tomorrow morning.
-Yeah. I suppose I could. But, Walter --
-He's going to have you the rest of his life, Hildy. Can't you give me another hour?
-I don't know what to do, Walter.
-Flip a coin.
-Well -- what is it?
-Hildy!
-Don't touch me! I'm not doing it for you!
-Then why are you doing it?
-The greatest yarn ever written by anybody. My hat's off to you, Hildy!
-Thanks.
-And what a way to quit. While you're still champion! That's the way to leave, Hildy!
-Yeah. Only -- only I'm not leaving, Walter.
-What do you mean? Bruce'll be waiting for you in Albany.
-No, he won't. I wired him that I wasn't coming.
-Where'd you wire him?
-On the nine o'clock train. That's the one he took, isn't it?
-Sure.
-It's awfully clear now. Bruce needs a wife who can give him a home -- and affection -- and peace. I couldn't do that for him, Walter. I'm what you made me -- a cheap reporter who'd give up her soul for a story!... Is that job still open?
-Both jobs are open, Hildy. The paper -- and being Mrs. Walter Burns.
-Thanks, Walter, but it's no good. We tried it.
-Sure, it was good -- it was wonderful! Only you expected it to be like other marriages. It can't be like other marriages -- we're different! We're a different world. Look at what we went through today. I wouldn't trade that for any honeymoon in the world. I bet you wouldn't, either.
-A fine honeymoon, with a murderer right in the boudoir! And that other honeymoon in a coal mine!
-That's what makes it romantic. Every other married couple goes away on a honeymoon and for two weeks the bride knows just where the groom is, and vice versa. But us -- you never know where I am and I'm not sure where you are. That's Romance!
-Well, maybe I'd like to know just once!
-Hildy, if that's what you want, all right. We'll even go to -- how about Niagara Falls?
-Niagara Falls! Walter, you don't mean that?
-Sure I do. And I'll tell you something else -- I'd like a baby.
-Walter!
-Sure, I can't last forever. I want a son I can train to take my place on this paper.
-What would you do if it was a daughter?
-Well, if she looked like you -- Say! My brains and your looks -- that mightn't be such a bad combination.
-What's the matter with my brains?
-What's the good of arguing about something that probably doesn't exist? Look, Hildy, I'm proposing to you. What do you say?
-Well, I'd like to be lady-like and think it over.
-What!
-That's what he said the last time. Don't believe him, Judge.
-Hildy, from this time on no tricks, no double-crossing -- everything on the level!
-How about Bruce's?
-Walter, you can't do that!
-Hildy, darling!
-Yes -- 'Hildy, darling'. I'm just a fool. That's what I am. I know what it's going to be like.
-It'll be Heaven!
-But, Hildy -- I can explain --
-Louie, take this lady over to Polack Mike's and lock her up. See that she doesn't take to anyone on the way.
-Are you referring to me, Madam?
-Come on, Sheriff. We've got to get bail.
-Oh, dear! Oh, dear!
-You grey-haired old Judas!
-Down Western Avenue. We were going sixty-five miles an hour. You know what I mean?
-Butter-fingers! I give you an old lady to take somewhere, and you hand her over to the cops!
-What do you mean, I handed her? The patrol wagon was on the wrong side of the street.
-Now everything's fine. She's probably squawking her head off in some police station.
-You stay here. I'll find out everything.
-Anything you want, Boss.
-Beat it out and get hold of some guys.
-Who do you want?
-You know me. The shirt off my back.
-You got plenty of money?
-Sure, boss.
-I mean real money -- not counterfeit!
-Walter!
-I'm busy, Duffy.
-Well, you're not too busy to know that the Governor hasn't signed that reprieve!
-What?
-And that means Earl Williams dies tomorrow morning and makes a sucker out of us!
-You're crazy. Where's Mac?
-He's on my phone. He just called me.
-Don't blame me. I'm City Editor in name only. You do all the hiring around here.
-Here's that certified check, Walter. I drew out my wife's savings, and if this isn't back by 5:30 I'm a ruined man!
-Hello, Hildy! What are you doing around here?
-I want to interview Earl Williams, Warden. How about a little service?
-Say, isn't this your twenty dollars?
-I think it is.
-Cooley, I want to talk to you.
-There's money in it, Cooley.
-I can't Hildy. It means my job! It means --
-How much?
-Four hundred and fifty dollars. Is it a deal?
-Let's see the money.
-The newspapers! Sheriff, they're the scum of modern civilization.
-You said it!
-They're always after me for interviews.
-Me, too.
-Of course, I sort of promised them I would give out a statement when I got through here. You don't mind?
-Well, I don't know if that's ethical. You see, all statements are supposed to come from me.
-We'll have to satisfy them. What would you say to giving them a joint interview? I could give them some of the psychological aspects of the case and you could give them the legal aspects.
-A joint interview, eh? That might be all right. We could have our pictures taken together, Doctor.
-Yes, shaking hands. I don't take a very good picture, though.
-It doesn't matter. The publicity's the main thing.
-I don't know --
-Are you gentlemen all through with me?
-You know you are to be executed, Mr. Williams. Who do you feel is responsible for that?
-The system. But I'm not afraid to die, Doctor. I'm dying for what I believe.
-I see. You realize, however, that you committed a crime?
-Now, the Sheriff will be Mollie Malloy, in whose room you were. You will be Earl Williams. And I will be the policeman. Follow me, Mr. Williams?
-So -- now I say to you: 'Earl Williams, you are under arrest!' and you point your gun at me.
-Well, it wasn't exactly that way --
-Well, that about covers everything.
-Say, that's old Prissy Bensinger's desk.
-I call. What you got?
-Three bullets! Any good?
-Who locked the door?
-Open up there, will you!
-Hey!
-Kind of exclusive, ain't you? We got calls to make, you know.
-Mollie Malloy -- what happened to her?
-She looks as though she's going to come to.
-Give me a hand with her, will you?
-A fine bunch of reporters. Biggest story in two years and they're too lazy to go after it.
-Better let us in on it, Mollie.
-That must be the tenth alienist they've had on Williams. Even if he wasn't crazy before, he would be after ten of those babies got through psychoanalyzing him. Gimme the desk.
-This Egelhoffer's pretty good.
-Yeah? What did he ever do for his country?
-Trouble is, when the Red Menace shows up the Sheriff will still be crying 'Wolf!'
-Well, a guy can win when Hildy ain't around.
-She says she's gonna write fiction.
-You guys wanna play some more poker?
-Boy, did you see her go?
-No, I tell you! Nobody knows where he got it.
-The Crime Commission has offered a reward of ten thousand dollars for Williams' capture.
-So have we!
-What's the dope, Sheriff?
-Say, Hildy, if I know you, you sound pretty anxious to get rid of us. Are you trying to scoop us or something?
-Oh, you two are pals now -- I think you're right, Endicott. Mollie did give her some kind of story.
-Come on, you! Before we slap you down.
-Do you want us to call the cops and have them give you the boots?
-Come on, Pinky! Give 'em a little third degree.
-Hold the phone!
-I'll call.
-Goodbye, Yonson.
-What a chase!
-You ain't gettin' out o' here!
-We know what you're up to.
-How's everything, Gus?
-Oh -- I'll take the same, I guess. And coffee.
-Little rum in yours, too?
-No -- just coffee, Gus.
-Oh, I'm sorry, Gus! My foot must have slipped.
-Gus, this --
-Same way you did. Through that gate.
-I gave strict orders that nobody was to interview Williams without my permission.
-All right, then, I'll just run the story that Sheriff Hartman is afraid to let reporters interview his prisoner. Of course, with election coming, that might do you a lot of harm, but just as you say.
-Now, wait a minute! I'm not afraid of anything. What were you going to write about Williams?
-Oh, nothing much. Just that the state had proved he was sane -- and he admits it himself. If you don't want me to run it --
-No, thanks Sheriff. I'm leaving town tonight.
-You ought to stay over. You always wrote a good hanging story, Hildy.
-Just a minute, Johnson!
-Take your paws off me!
-Let me go! Fellows, something's happened to my mother-in-law.
-I don't know anything, I tell you. There's been an accident.
-Johnson, there's something very peculiar going on.
-You can send somebody with me if you don't believe me!
-I wasn't born yesterday. Now the boys tell me you and this Mollie Malloy --
-Johnson, I'm going to the bottom of this. What do you know about Williams? Are you going to talk or aren't you?
-What do I know about Williams?
-Where'd you get this?
-I've got a right to carry a gun if I want to.
-He went over to the hospital to call on Professor Egelhoffer.
-What?
-He's harmless.
-Don't take any chances. Shoot through the desk.
-That's murder!
-If the Mayor wants me, he knows where I am.
-This tear bomb went off unexpectedly in the hands of Sheriff Hartman's Bombing Squad.
-What went off?
-Four of Mr. Hartman's Deputy Sheriffs were rushed to the hospital --
-A fine fair-weather friend you are!
-The names are Merwyn D. Mayor, who is the Mayor's brother-in-law --
-After all I've done for you --
-Where is he?
-I'm Sheriff Hartman. You want me?
-For who?
-Read it! Insane, he says. He knows very well that Williams ain't insane!
-Well, wait a minute, will you? I'm in conference.
-Just one second --
-Pete, I want to talk to you!
-I ain't got time, Fred, honest. I'll see you after.
-Did you actually give Williams that gun?
-The professor asked me for it -- I thought it was for something scientific!
-Now, listen, Fred. Just give me a few hours before you make any decisions. I'll get results. I'm doing everything humanly possible. I've just sworn in four hundred deputies.
-Four hundred! Do you want to bankrupt this administration?
-I'm getting them for twelve dollars a night.
-Twelve dollars! -- For those rheumatic uncles of yours? Out shooting everybody they see for the fun of it?
-Pete, you're through!
-What do you mean -- through?
-I mean I'm scratching your name off the ticket Tuesday and running Czernecki in your place. It's nothing personal. And, Pete -- it's the only way out. It's a sacrifice we all ought to be glad to make.
-Fred!
-Now, Pete! Please don't appeal to my Sentimental side.
-Fred, I don't know what to say. A thing like this almost destroys a man's faith in human nature.
-I wish you wouldn't talk like that, Pete.
-Our families, Fred. I've always looked on Bessie as my own sister.
-That gives you an idea of what I'm up against!
-Williams ain't a Red, and you know it!
-Well, there's a lot of Communistic sympathizers around --
-I know it! But they've got nothing to do with this case! Do you realize there are two hundred thousand votes at stake and unless we hang Earl Williams we're going to lose 'em?
-The Governor gave me his word of honor he wouldn't interfere. Two days ago!
-Pure politics!
-Dementia praecox Oh-h-h!
-We got to think fast before those lying reporters get hold of this. What'll we tell 'em?
-Tell 'em the party is through in this State on account of you.
-Ah, Fred -- Hello... this is Hartman --
-And you can tell 'em as an afterthought that I want your resignation now!
-Sssh. Wait, Fred. What?... Where?... Where? Holy Moses!
-What is it?
-They got him! Wait a minute -- hold the wire. They got Earl Williams surrounded -- the Riot Squad has -- in his house.
-Tell 'em to hold the wire.
-I did. Hold the wire.
-No -- don't out me off.
-Hold your horses -- will you, Olsen? Hurry up, Fred!
-We'll fix that, too.
-All right. Tell 'em to shoot to kill.
-What?
-Shoot to kill, I said.
-I don't know, Fred. There's that reprieve if they ever find out.
-Nobody reprieved that policeman he murdered. Now, do as I tell you.
-Hello, Olsen... Listen... Shoot to kill... That's the orders pass the word along... No! We dont want him! And listen, Olsen, five- hundred bucks for the guy that does the job... Yes, I'll be right out there. Well, I hope that's the right thing to do.
-Now take that guilty look off your face, Pete -- and stop trembling like a horse.
-Fine work, Pete! You certainly delivered the goods. I'm proud of you.
-Look kind o' natural, don't they, Fred?
-A sight for sore eyes!
-Aiding an escaped criminal! And a little charge of kidnapping I'm looking into. But that's the jail! There must be somebody there!
-Who is this man?
-You drunken idiot! Arrest him! The idea of coming here with a cock-and- bull story like that!
-That's a lie!!
-Take those handcuffs off our friends, Pete. That wasn't at all necessary.
-Walter, I can't tell you how badly I feel about this. There was no excuse for Hartwell to fly off the handle.
-And so do I!
-Fine, thanks, Sheriff.
-That's good, Earl. Oh, they've got another alienist to see you. He ought to be here any minute. Don't go to sleep, will you?
-I won't.
-I hope you're pretty nearly through with me, Doctor, I'm getting a little fatigued.
-Got you, Williams!
-Let him out of here, Lieutenant.
-But, Hildy, I can't. He's accused of stealing a watch. And they found the watch on him.
-And who accused him? Diamond Louis! One of the worst crooks in town! Why don't you arrest Louis instead of innocent people that he frames?
-Now, Hildy --
-Don't Hildy me! Are you going to let him out?
-I can't.
-All right. You can't. But tomorrow the Post will run the story of that roulette game on 43rd Street that your brother-in-law runs. And we'll print that you get five hundred a month for forgetting about it!
-Now, Hildy, don't be hasty! I can't let him out.
-You can let him out on bail, can't you?
-Five hundred dollars.
-You'll take fifty and like it!
-Oh, I ain't doing that any more. I'm retired. I'm one of you fellas now -- a newspaper man.
-Wait a minute, Walter. You can't do that!
-Where's the old lady?
-We run smack into a police patrol. You know what I mean? We broke it in half!
-I'm telling you. Can you imagine bumping into a load of cops?! They come rollin' out like oranges!
-What did you do with her?
-Search me! When I come to I was running down Thirty-fifth Street.
--- You were with her. You were in the cab, weren't you?
-Nobody's going to rush me into anything! You keep away from me!
-Gentlemen of the Press! Always picking on somebody who can't defend himself -- the littler the better.
-Phone for you, Hildy.
-Who is it?
-Oh, some insurance man. Are you in?
-There goes another scrub lady.
-Well, anyhow, I won't be covering stuff like this any more.
-It's getting so a girl can't step out of the room without being discussed by a bunch of old ladies. Hello, Post... Mr. Walter Burns, please.
-Well, Hildy, we were only saying that a swell reporter like you wouldn't give this up so easily.
-Hello, Mr. Burns. Yes, she's still here.
-Any news?
-You fight it cut.
-I don't know why you boys are so good to me.
-Your poker's improved a lot, Hildy. Lend me two bucks, will you?
-Certified, eh? Who is it -- your milkman?
-But, Bruce, don't keep it in your wallet!... Well, you see -- -- there's an old newspaper superstition that the first big check you get you -- you put in the lining of your hat. That brings you good luck for ten years.
-Say, I've been a reporter twenty years and never heard any hooey like that. Where'd you get it?
-Hello, Hildy. I thought you were gone.
-Did you get that, Hildy?
-If Walter Burns calls, hold the wire for me, will you? I'll be right back.
-Okay. Forget it.
-Look out, you --
-Have you got my dough?
-Oh, sure. The boss sent me over with it. Four hundred dollars, wasn't it?
-Four hundred and fifty and I'll cut your throat if you try any tricks!
-All right, all right. You can't blame a guy for tryin', can you?
-Come on with that money!
-First you got to sign a receipt.
-Where's the money?
-Keep your shirt on. I got it -- right here. One hundred -- two hundred -- three hundred -- four hundred -- and fifty. Now sign.
-Here!
-Thanks. So long, Hildy!
-So long, nothing! Where's Bruce Baldwin's wallet?
-Huh?
-None of that innocent stuff, you double-crossing hyena! You stuck Bruce Baldwin in jail this afternoon on a phony charge that he swiped your watch, and you frisked his wallet! Now, give me that wallet or I'll stick you in jail and it won't be on any phony charge either! It'll be for life!
-You know it is!
-I didn't frisk him. He must have dropped it in Burns' office. I didn't know whose it was.
-No -- and you don't know that your cheap boss has had Mr. Baldwin arrested again -- do you?
-Kings and sixes.
-That's good.
-Any dope yet on how he got out?
-Hildy, I thought you were gone --
-Well -- I was going, but Mollie fainted away and I thought I ought to do what I could.
-Hiding him where?
-Mother!
-Don't you mother me! Playing cat-and- mouse with my poor boy! Keeping him looked up -- making us miss two trains -- and supposed to be married tomorrow!
-Mother, I can explain everything. I'll go with you in five minutes and --
-I don't know what she's talking about. I never said any such thing.
-Mother!
-That man there!
-I couldn't plead insanity, because you see I'm just as sane as anybody else.
-You didn't mean to kill that policeman?
-Of course not. I couldn't kill anybody -- it's against everything I've ever stood for. They know it was an accident. They're not hanging me for that -- they're hanging me for my beliefs.
-What are your beliefs, Earl?
-They're very simple. I believe in the Golden Rule. I'm not the first man to die for preaching it. But if they would only listen to it -- we could have a fine, decent world instead of this mass of hate that makes man do such cruel things.
-How would you go about applying the Golden Rule, Earl?
-I'd do away with the profit system and have production for use only. There's enough food and clothing and shelter for everybody if we'd use some sense.
-"Production for use only." Well, maybe that's the answer.
-It's the only answer. Everything has a use and if we let it be used for its purpose, we could solve all our problems. Food was meant to be eaten, not stored away in restaurants while poor people starved; clothing was meant to be worn, not piled up in stores while people went naked. Doesn't that make sense?
-A gun? Why -- to shoot, of course.
-Is that how you came to shoot the policeman?
-Sure. You see, I'd never had a gun in my hand before and I didn't know what to do with it. Well, when I get stuck, I know that there's an answer for everything in production for use. So it came to me in a flash: what's a gun for? To shoot! So I shot. Simple isn't it?
-Very simple, Earl.
-There's nothing crazy about that, is there?
-No, Earl, not at all. Who sent you the flowers, Earl?
-Miss Mollie Malloy. She's a wonderful person.
-Isn't that her picture?
-Don't forget about production for use.
-You're not going to phone anybody where I am.
-You're not going to shoot me, Earl. I'm your friend, remember? I've got to write that story about your "Production for Use".
-Earl, you don't want to hurt your friends, do you?
-Maybe you're my friend and maybe you're not -- but don't come any nearer. You can't trust anybody in this crazy world. Say, I'll bet I could shoot you from here.
-Sure you could, Earl -- but you wouldn't want to do that, would you? You wouldn't want to kill anybody.
-Earl, there's just one thing I ought to clear up for the interview.
-What's that? Only -- you're getting too near. I don't trust anybody.
-I don't blame you, Earl. If I were in your place I wouldn't trust anybody, either.
-Earl, you must never do that again.
-Oh, I'm awful tired. I couldn't go through another day like this.
-Don't talk too loud.
-Wakin' me up in the middle of the night -- talkin' to me about things they don't understand. Callin' me a Bolshevik. I'm an anarchist. It's got nothin' to do with bombs. It's the philosophy that guarantees every man freedom. You see that, don't you?
-Quiet, Mollie, quiet!
-Don't cry, Mollie, there's nothing to cry about.
-How'd you get here, Earl?
-Stop screaming, Mollie or we're sunk. I'm trying to think of something before those reporters get back.
-What good'll it do?
-Come on, Mollie. This is no place for you.
-They're not human!
-They're newspaper men, Mollie. They can't help themselves. The Lord made them that way.
-Where are they gone? You know where they are?
-They got him surrounded some place -- gonna shoot him like a dog!
-Mollie, they haven't got him. You gotta help me, Mollie! We've got to do something!
-What's that?
-Quiet, Mollie!
-They'll get him! They'll get him!
-I'm coming! Keep dead quiet. Don't even breathe.
-What's the idea?
-Hey --
-Are you all right, now?
-What do you want?
-I'm a messenger at the State House. This is from the Governor.
-What's from the Governor?
-They were all standing around when he wrote it. It was after they got back from fishing.
-Get the Governor on the phone!
-You can't get him on the phone. He's out duckshooting now.
-Now, listen! You never arrived here with this -- reprieve. Get it?
-Yes, I did, just now. Don't you remember?
-How much do you make a week?
-Huh?
-How much do you make a week? What's your salary?
-Who? Me?
-Now, listen. There's a fine opening for a fellow like you in the City Sealer's office.
-The what?
-The City Sealer's office!
-You mean here in the city?
-Why not?
-I couldn't work in the city. You see, I've got my family in the country.
-But you could bring 'em in here! We'll pay all your expenses.
-No, I don't think so.
-For heaven's sake, why not?
-I got two kids going to school there, and if I changed them from one town to another, they'd lose a grade.
-No, they wouldn't -- they'd gain one! And I guarantee that they'll graduate with highest honors!
-This puts me in a peculiar hole.
-No, it doesn't. Now, remember: you never delivered this. You got caught in the traffic, or something. Now, get out of here and don't let anybody see you.
-But how do I know...?
-Come in and see me in my office tomorrow. What's your name?
-Pinkus.
-You forgot to tell me what a City Sealer has to do.
-I'll explain it tomorrow!
-Is it hard?
-Get out of here!
-They wouldn't take it.
-Here's the picture of my wife.
-A very fine-looking women.
-She's good enough for me! And if I was to go home and tell my wife --
-If you ask us, no. If you ask the state alienists, the answer is yes.
-Well, well -- Miss Mollie Malloy.
-Look out!
-Sure, Mollie, you never looked better in your life.
-Get the cops, somebody.
-There she is!
-What's your hurry?
-Williams put up a desperate struggle but the police overpowered --
-Well -- Williams goes a little balmy and begins making speeches on a plan he's got to save the world. Only he makes his speeches, usually, on a very busy street and neglects to get a license for it. Well, the cops let him alone as much as they can because he's harmless and they're kinda sorry for him. But one day he decides
-Baldwin -- his name is.
-Who? Hildy Johnson? She just stepped out. She'll be back in a second. Who? Oh, Mr. Baldwin. Well, if you'll hang on a minute, she ought to be right in. All right.
-Baldwin. The blushing bridegroom -- himself.
-What's he want?
-The door was locked.
-What's that?
-Henry Chapman's daughter. It was Sheila. I remember her from last year.
-Can I try?
-Never let a rat creep up on you.
-That was a googly!
-I know.
-You're a dark horse, bowling googlies at your age. Toss me up another.
-Want to know why they're called Faith, Hope, Grace and Charity?
-Why?
-This is going too far, young man.
-But Grandpa, you said...
-Give him the you-know-what.
-You miserable little tripe-hound. I'm the one who should be fed up, sacrificing my last sup of black market petrol to take you to school.
-I have to live in Rosehill Avenue as well.
-Only till they get you into the local school.
-With Mrs. Evans. I hate her.
-It's true.
-Grandpa, if you think of something hard enough, can you make it happen?
-Pauline's mum got killed.
-No, she didn't.
-What are you doing here? This is our territory
-I never was.
-I know a secret.
-What's that?
-The Germans are dropping men on bomb sites.
-My uncle's in the War Office. He said, Don't go on the bomb sites. "Boys are going missing all the time."
-You want to join our gang?
-I don't mind.
-Do you know any swear words?
-Yes.
-Well go on then. You can't join if you can't answer.
-That word is special. That word is only for something really important. Now, repeat after me... Bugger off.
-Bugger off.
-Sod.
-Sod.
-Bloody.
-Bloody.
-Now put them together. Bugger off, you bloody sod.
-Bugger off, you bloody sod.
-They pulled them up from all the crossroads, so when the Germans land they'll lose their way.
-Won't they have maps?
-He's never going to come back. He's gone off to be a soldier and Mummy doesn't even know.
-It doesn't matter, I can drive the car home.
-You wouldn't.
-Would.
-You couldn't.
-Go and ask her if she wants to play.
-Ask her yourself.
-Tell them about Pauline's mum.
-Bruce, look! Dad got some German jam.
-I suppose they're still learning, that's why they keep moving about.
-It's easy. I've done it.
-Who with?
-Pauline.
-I did see them. I did.
-You're the biggest fibber.
-The next one is ours. Either it hits us or it goes past us.
-...and four and five...
-Please God. Not on us. Drop it on Mrs. Evans. She's a cow.
-Can't we just see the end?
-They've got the real thing outside.
-Mind that shrapnel DAWN thrusts a brass regimental hat badge in BILL'S face.
-I'm starting my own collection.
-Well, I'm not having any. Even if it's not poisoned. I don't think it's right. It's not patriotic.
-You don't like jam. You hate jam. You never eat jam.
-You did that for me, and on the last day of your holidays?
-Well, for the baby, really.
-Crocodiles! Aah!
-But Dad, It's the News.
-Now, the googly looks like a leg break, but it's really an off break. Got it? Like this.
-It's like telling fibs.
-You said that last year, Dad.
-What's that?
-Big Berthas, shelling France. Twenty-five-mile range, they have.
-Wow!
-They send over a few every day, to let them know we're still here. Each shell costs as much as a Ford 8.
-Who pays for them?
-It was great for me, how was it for you.
-A bit too quick.
-Well. Now we can do it slow. Are those some kind of stockings you're wearing?
-They might be.
-Take it away. I know your husband's been away a long time, but....
-Boy, that was some air-raid.
-Air-raid?
-What is it?
-We're not supposed to say, but we're being shipped out tomorrow.
-Where?
-I don't know?
-You do, you do. You're just not saying.
-You expect me to spend the rest of the war sitting at home staring at a ring? And you'll meet some French girl who can speak your own language. No thank you!
-Could you seal it over with hot pitch, Clive? Caulk it like the hull of a ship.
-...It was a toss-up. His company went to India, mine went to France. Flip of a coin.
-...two Indians to fan me all night. The heat.
-And Jim.
-Root it out Clive... the thought of it, before it takes hold.
-Weeds will grow, Mac.
-Consider Grace, the kids. I love them like my own. And you.
-You're a mug, Clive. We did our bit in the Last Lot.
-What did we know? We were seventeen.
-What kind of war is this Mac? Up there in Cumberland, we never see an air-raid. The worst problem I have is getting a new typewriter ribbon. When I rode in against the Turks, I knew what it was about.
-What about it?
-Rosehill Avenue. No roses. No hill. And it's certainly not an avenue.
-Why not?
-You need trees for an avenue.
-There was talk of planting some when we first came.
-How's your war, Mac?
-Never done better. On the fiddle. Like everyone else.
-Except the servicemen.
-Naturally.
-I don't understand. Is there any point to it?
-You always were, Clive. Steady the Buffs.
-Don't panic! Keep your head!
-So you're going to be a grandfather.
-And I'm still just a lad myself.
-Here's to music. And absent friends.
-And absent bridegrooms!
-No Turks.
-We didn't know that. It was a suicide mission. Machetes against artillery. Volunteers only.
-We all had to write a last letter home.
-Has Sue got it right?
-What's that?
-You joined up.
-Oh, that.
-And what's that?
-We don't know anything about it
-Well, it's off ration. We know that.
-Well?
-It looks....foreign.
-Taste it. Why don't you taste it?
-You mean they let you go through the officer training course and then said you were too old for a commission?
-That's it.
-Why didn't they say that before you started?
-I wasn't too old when I started the course. I was too old when it finished.
-What are you going to be then?
-When do you think you'll get leave again?
-I'm glad you didn't send them to your aunt.
-I've had a letter from her. They've moved house.
-I've found a bungalow to rent up the towpath, Clive. I never want to leave the river again. The children have had such a wonderful summer.
-I doubt if a few bombs would wake up Dawn on a Sunday morning.
-This phoney war get's on my nerves. If we're going to have a war, I wish they'd get it started.
-You know it? It must be an old one.
-Ancient. Have you finished your homework?
-He always knows.
-What would we do if a German came into the house?
-Don't be silly, Dawn.
-Tell me the truth. You had to get married, didn't you? Because of me.
-The ideas you get in your head.
-I won't have this vulgar talk in my house.
-And where do you think you're going?
-Out.
-You go to bed this minute and take off that lipstick.
-I want him. I want him so much. I'll kill myself if I can't have him.
-You better bring him home, if you really love him. Don't kill love. You'll regret it for the rest of your life.
-What is it, pet?
-He's being posted. I was terrible to him.
-What did he say?
-He said I was right. I shouldn't wait for him. I was better to make a clean break.
-I think it's very sensible in the circumstances.
-I don't believe this is happening to me.
-It looks a bit fishy to me.
-Now take deep breaths, and push.
-Is it peace in out time?
-No, Mother! It's War! War!
-Did they say how long it would take to get new ration books, Grace?
-Up to six weeks, I think.
-...such nice boys with straw boaters and blazers. All the punts lit up with Chinese lanterns. Like fireflies. And the gramophone going on one of the boats. Always the Charleston, the Charleston, the Charleston. Oh, you girls.
-It was the best time of his life.
-I can't do it. What's the point?
-Please yourself. Let them go, if they want.
-It seems to have survived.
-Mac, that was wonderful. I haven't been to a concert since...
-...since I used to take you to the Proms?
-Remember this beach, Mac? All those summers. Out two families, together.
-Mac, did you ever find out who Molly went off with?
-She said, 'I know you love me, Mac, but you've never loved me enough.'
-It's all better left unsaid, Grace.
-You were never apart, you and Clive. He kept asking and asking. And I waited and waited for you to say something. And you never did.
-He could always make me laugh.
-We did the decent thing.
-This war's put an end to decent things. I want to close my eyes and jump and give myself for once, hold nothing back.
-We can't change what's past. Not even the war can do that.
-Bless you, Mac. What would I have done without you?
-You might still have a house.
-I wish it could all have been different.
-To Mary McDonald, Thelma Richardson, Bobo Hinds, Lily Sanderson... ...Little Sarah Whats-it, now there was a spirit. And Marjorie Anderson.
-Father, that's enough now
-What did I do to deserve this?
-You married that fool, Clive, that's what. Never mind, you can stay with us.
-What can you do with four daughters, I asked myself, A string quartet was all I could come up with. They hated me for making them learn.
-It's not fair on them. It's selfish to keep them with you.
-It's so far way. I couldn't bear it.
-I didn't mean it like that, Grace. Why does it always come out wrong?
-God, how I hate all this scrimping and squalor.
-I don't know how you cope, Grace. Three kids, army pay. On your own.
-Molly!
-You're having me on, Molly.
-Am I? Maybe I am.
-You've been drinking. Your tipsy.
-I'm so glad you could come. Here we are, all together again.
-Whoa, thanks for stopping. I been standing out there in that toad strangling rain for like a hundred million years.
-Really, that's a long time.
-Yeah, most people just whiz on by like I was invisible or something... or else they're creeps who wanna jam their slimy hands down my pants and twiddle my naughty-naughty.
-Yikes.
-Yeah, I know where that is, it's right by my house. It's Dr. Satan's tree. I can show ya.
-Really, wow, so it's really a real thing.
-Yeah, it's a tree. I used to play there all the time. But, you can't find it without me. Outsider can't find no deadwood.
-Deadwood, is that what it's called? Cool, will you show us?
-Maybe, maybe, maybe... hey, you know what word I hate?
-What?
-Cone.
-Huh... what cone?
-Any cone, yeah... I hate that word... sounds ugly, I don't like crumple either.
-I always hate saying the word cheese, every time you get your picture taken... smile, say cheese.
-Oh, I know. I'll show you where it's at, sweetie. Aren't you just so cute all bundled up like a cinnamon roll of Christmas love.
-The lions were totally covered in this guy's blood... I think they ate his face off, tore open his rib cage, pulled his legs off... it was a wild scene.
-I agree.
-Please don't kill us, please don't kill us.
-Tiny's home.
-What about R.J.?
-Ma, Tiny's in.
-I'll cut your fucking tits off and shove 'em down your throat.
-Come on, ma... this bitch's got it coming.
-Drink up, it's party time.
-Enjoy your last night... ...where's Otis?
-Who's your Daddy!
-Take his gag out, it's more fun with the screaming.
-Aw, I was going home to my Mamma's house... yeah, I was out doing this thing.
-Where's that?
-What about the tree?
-Which way?
-I guess I'll try to back it out on the rim... at least to the main road.
-OK, whatever. Let's go get your brother's truck. Faster we get the truck, faster we get out of here.
-Don't worry, I'll be right back.
-How much further?
-Almost there... are you in a hurry or something?
-The door's locked. I'll gotta go around... wait here.
-Christ, you scared the shit out of me.
-Aw, you ain't seen nothing yet.
-Is your brother ready to go?
-Oh... yeah, he already left. We'll wait inside, come on.
-He left!
-So, you live here alone... I mean with just your brother?
-No. There's a bunch a us 'round somewhere... I think Mamma's sleepin'. She sleeps a lot, now... do you want marshmallows?
-Um, yeah sure, I guess.
-Thank you.
-Hey, um... ...what kind of animal is that?
-A dead one.
-Mmmmm, this is tasty.
-Ain't the only thing tasty in this house.
-I wonder what time it is. Seems kind of late.
-Don't worry, sugar. It ain't past my bedtime... are you flirting with me?
-What? No, I'm was worried that... I was just wondering what's taking so long.
-Oh. Maybe R.J. got into a crash and killed everbody?
-That's not something to joke about.
-Hey, great they're back.
-No! He's one of God's creatures, he can't help it if he's dumb... I'm just crazy about animals.
-I'd like to see that.
-Can I help you with something?
-I was just wondering.
-Wondering what?
-Are you two gals all funny with each other?
-What?
-You know... a couple of queers.
-Do you believe this fucking girl?
-What the hell are you laughing about?
-I just pictured the tire sitting in a chair watching TV.
-He walks, duh.
-Take that, you fucking slut! Fucking redneck whore!
-You shouldn't a done that.
-Why? You gonna do something about it?
-You all having a Halloween party tonight?
-Now, what makes you think that?
-You all sure are buying a lot of holy water for two people.
-Yeah, well we like to get fucked up and do fucked up shit, you know what I mean?
-Yeah, yeah... ...I like to fuck shit up.
-I'll bet you do... how much we owe ya... ...Goober?
-Actually it's G. Ober... Gerry Ober, but the guys drew in the other O, fucking assholes.
-Great story Goober, how much?
-Keep the change and get yourself a new name.
-Come on, bro. Let's go.
-What's this?
-How long have you been running this place?
-No, really.
-Shit, I don't remember exactly. I took over for my Pa just after the Duke nabbed the Oscar.
-The Duke?
-Yeah, my Pa wasn't right in the head after that.
-You mean John Wayne?
-Hell, boy there some other Duke you know about? A great American.
-Yeah, I was never that big of a western fan. I like science fiction.
-I figured that much. Why the fuck you asking so many jackass questions for?
-You see me and my friends are writing a book on offbeat roadside attractions. You know all the crazy shit you see when you drive cross country.
-I don't drive cross country.
-But if you did.
-I don't.
-But suppose for a second you did.
-Y'all find us country people real funny like don't ya... well, God damn pack up the mule and sling me some grits, I'ze a gotta get me some schooling.
-No, no I think it's really interesting.
-Really? Huh, I thought for sure you'd say Lynette Fromme. She's got that snooty vibe I know you dig.
-Sqeaky! No way, she ain't that hot.
-She's pretty cute.
-Yeah but, she reminds me of this chick that I remember from fourth grade... called a... shit, what did we call her? Oh yeah, Patty Pee-pee Pants... when ever she got called on by Miss Chumski, this chick would piss in her pants and start bawling.
-There always one kid with no bodily controls. We had this dude, Jeff Baxter, he was a puker. The fucker would just sit there puke all over himself.
-Better than pissing... anyway so, what's your choice?
-If we're talking cute... like regular cute, I'd say Leslie Van Houton, but cute ain't hot.
-Yeah, no shit.
-As far a hot... goes I gotta go with... Ruth Ann Moorehouse.
-Oh yeah, I forgot about her. She was pretty hot.
-Fuck yeah, she is. I'd join a cult to get some of that... and the best part is she didn't try to kill the President or nothing, so that baggage ain't hanging around.
-I thought she tried to murder a witness for the prosecution.
-I'll let it slide, she was only seventeen.
-Dude, talk about baggage, that ain't no carry-on shit, that's some heavy duty Samsonite shit.
-Yeah, I guess... hot chicks are always nuts.
-Hold on, I've heard this before... but I can't remember the end.
-So, the guy goes to Hell and the devil says, "do you smoke?" The guy say, "yeah"... the devil say, "great cause Tuesday is cigar night, sweetest Cuban cigars you ever had."
-Shit, we really need to find some gas.
-Then the devil asks, "do you drink?" Guy says, "yeah"... devil say, "wonderful, Wednesday is free drinks night, best booze you ever had... all made from the finest stuff."
-Yeah.
-Then the devil says, "are you gay?" Guy says, "fuck no"... Devil says, "Well then, I guess you're gonna hate Thursdays."
-Oh yeah, I remember now.
-Yeah, no shit I just told ya. Hey, you think this place called Alien Ed's UFO Welcoming Center is still around? It says, "Where the Fact is separated from the Fantasy."
-I dunno... we'll ask around as we get closer. Man, I really don't want to run out of gas out here in the middle of Petticoat Junction, man.
-Don't panic yourself, way too much caffeine guy... I see a sign. Captain Spaulding's Museum of Madmen and Monsters... cool. Also... fried chicken and... gasoline... next exit.
-Perfect.
-I'll pump the gas. Go inside and see if it's worth thinking about.
-Holy crap. You gotta see this place. It's awesome.
-How awesome?
-Really fucking awesome.
-Wake up the chicks and bust out the camera awesome?
-Keep straight on this road here.
-How much further?
-I'm not exactly sure... it looks close. Did we pass an abandoned school bus yet?
-Come on, we need something like this. It could be the real deal. It's too far out of the way to come back to.
-It's a hitchhiker.
-She looks like she stinks.
-That reminds me of a film I saw once of a guy who got out of his car at Lion Country Safari to take a picture of a lion cub and got eaten by the lions.
-Oh yeah, I heard about that. I always thought it was bullshit.
-What was that?
-OK, let's relax. I'll check it, maybe I'm wrong. Don't everybody freak out just yet.
-I'll help ya.
-I hope you fixed the spare like I asked ya.
-Yeah, I fixed it. Well, I ain't... um, I can't remember. I think I took it out to fit the bags and forgot to put it back.
-Jesus Christ, Jerry.
-Well, technically I did what ya said.
-Tire's fucking gone crap on us, man. There's no saving it now.
-Don't forget the flashlight, it's pretty dark out there.
-Thanks.
-Oh, don't worry she didn't get offended by what I said. You two got to lighten up... right, Bill?
-Whatever, at this point all I care about is food. I'm starving and I got a fucking killer headache.
-Hey, I asked you if you wanted some chicken.
-Didn't look like chicken to me, more like fried pussy cat.
-I can't believe what I'm seeing.
-Almost there.
-I like sleep.
-Honk at him. Scare him.
-Fuck! We are fucked!
-Yeah, maybe R.J. could just tow us and our car to the nearest garage.
-What's he so excited about?
-Just grin and bear it.
-Shit, I'm all for being a sport, but this is ridiculous.
-Yeah, I'd say at this point all we can do is just wait it out. There's nothing else.
-Don't look back, just get in the car.
-We'll need pictures of the inside too.
-Well, don't even think about playing the good samaritan, there's way too many psychos wandering loose these days.
-Should we stop?
-We can't leave her out here in the rain... maybe we can just drop her at the next rest area.
-Sounds like a magical trip through the heartland.
-Why are we stopping?
-Go around him.
-There's not enough room.
-Hey, he moved.
-Well, I got some bad news and some bad news.
-Fine. I'll go straight.
-What!
-Forget it. I'll just go.
-Screw that, no way, I ain't letting you go by yourself.
-I hope to Christ she doesn't expect us to wear these things.
-Check this out.
-This is starting to make me real uncomfortable.
-How much is a person supposed to stand?
-Quiet.
-What are you doing!
-I gotta open the gate.
-Drive through it!
-Officers, officers what can I do for you today? I ain't fried up the birds yet... if that's what you're ring a ding dinging about.
-What I need are some answers.
-Well, I'll try but I don't know nothing 'bout nobody. I'm a guy who likes to mind his own business, if ya get what I'm saying.
-Come on, get with the facts.
-Hmmmmmmmmm?
-What'd you see, who was she with, where were they going?
-And...
-And I gave 'em directions out there, up by the old farm row... I figured what's the harm. Stupid kids probably going out to piss up a rope and got themselves turned around backasswards and got lost as shit.
-Is that all... think real hard.
-Yeah, they weren't here but a few minutes, didn't really have time to get as up close and personal as I do with most of the assholes that wander through here.
-How's about you give me those same directions.
-Yeah, yeah, sure. You don't have to get all True Grit all over my ass... I'll give'm to ya... you can knock yourself silly for all I care.
-I... I got back a stack today. Some nice shots. See, a good topless June Wilkinson... unfortunately she personalized it... to Stucky, love June.
-Hmmmmm.
-Shit, this ain't worth nothing now that my name gotten all over it. I was a fixin' on trading it to Jackie Cobb.
-The retard over at Molly's fruit stand.
-Fascinating.
-That kid is one horny retard.
-Christ, ain't they all. All them retards wanna do is fuck and eat.
-Well, yeah... I think that if you knew him... I mean if you'd understand his urges, shit the guy's like forty or something.
-Worse than a fucking rabid baboon.
-Yeah, I guess, you know next to wacking his weasel his other favorite thing is twisting sharpened pencils in the corner of his eyes.
-What?
-Yeah, doesn't hurt himself, just spins it around next to his eyeball.
-I'm sure that ain't the only place he's sticking those pencils.
-Naw, he don't do anything else with 'em, but he did get caught once with a Planet of the Apes doll hanging out his asshole.
-Goddamn.
-Had to take him to the hospital. Kid had Dr. Zaius stuck half way up his butt, couldn't get it out.
-I always loved that mute broad that Chuck Heston was shacking up with.
-Nova, yeah she looked pretty sweet.
-Yeah, now there's the perfect woman.
-Ya hear me? You bust that crapper and I'll beat your ass.
-Fuck your grandmother.
-Huh? Oh, hi. You really don't have a phone?
-No, he's just joking. We don't really have any plans other than spending the night at my Dad's house... ...which is where we were headed when our car broke down.
-That's nice.
-How long is that gonna take?
-Tiny ain't got no car, he ain't even got a bicycle.
-You sure you don't need any help in there?
-You'll have to forgive Tiny, he can't hear so much.
-Oh.
-Yeah, my poor baby. It's his Daddy's fault. I mean Earl was a good man... I mean he never hit me or nothing, but one day he just got up and went pure devil on us all.
-What happened? Oh, I'm sorry, it's none of my business.
-Huh?
-Great, you're back. Let's go. We already paid for the tickets.
-Tickets for what?
-This isn't everything. Get ready for this... there's a Museum of Murder and Mayhem.
-Aw, come on. It will be fun.
-Ugh, what's that smell?
-Hey, maybe she knows where this is?
-Fuck, it's freezing.
-Hey, listen to this... I think this is related to our Dr. Satan.
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, in this book there's a chapter called Self Made Freaks about how people would mutilate themselves in order to work in a freak show. It mostly talks about tattooed people and wild men of Borneo and shit like that, but there is one mention of a single case where a woman was suspected of having her arms removed on purpose to become an
-Yeah, so how does that fit with the story of four morons with a flat tire looking for a dead tree?
-It says, "records show that Ellie Thompson was born in 1914 of normal physical stature and lived a life of normal bearings, until such time that she was placed in the care of the Willows State Mental Facility."
-So.
-Now she was put in the nuthouse in 1930 at the age of 16.
-Why?
-Blah, blah, blah... it doesn't say, but she was released sometime in 1937, only to reappear as Ellie Bogdan, the arm-less wonder. Says she, "criss-crossed the United States constantly in carnivals and freak shows until her death in 1946."
-Yeah?
-These dates perfectly correspond with the time frame of our beloved Dr. Satan working at the looney bin. I'll bet he amputated her arms.
-So what?
-I don't know, I just thought it was interesting.
-You know what Jerry, who really cares at this point?
-Yeah, Jerry, she said some pretty fucked shit to us.
-When?
-Hey, nice outfit Billy Bob.
-Thanks for coming to get us. Little brother almost scared us to death.
-Thank you.
-Really, now is not the time to make waves.
-Hey, I'm just waiting for Cousin Itt to show up.
-What are you laughing at?
-I don't know, I think he's funny.
-You gotta be kidding me. This chick is wasted.
-We've got get out of here, we got get out of here.
-Think, think. Try to open the lid, try to kick a hole in the wood.
-I can't... I can't move my arms. I hurt so much.
-That was good babe, just keep doing that.
-That's not me. I didn't... I'm not doing that.
-Someone is out there... ...help, we're in here!
-Hello... ...hey Denise... what, what's wrong, did you break down?
-No, nothing like that... yeah, we're gonna be a little late. We stopped for gas at this place called Capt. Spaulding's outside of Ruggsville and it turned into a whole thing, so we're kind of behind schedule.
-Oh yeah, yeah I've driven by that place before. I seem to remember a crabby old bastard in a crummy clown suit running the place.
-Yeah, well he's still here. I think him and Jerry are fast becoming buddies, you know Jerry... yeah, he's gotta see everything... yeah, I know... thinks there's some unsolved mystery around every corner.
-Well, don't take too long, the kids are already knocking down the door demanding their sugar fix... I know, I know I forgot to mention that Halloween falls on a school night, so they're trick or treating tonight... I got the joint decked out this year, built a graveyard in the front yard like when you were a kid.
-Hopefully I can move things along here and make up the lost time by speeding all the way home... yes, Dad I'm kidding.
-Come on sleeping beauty, time to go to work.
-Sleeping.
-Rise and shine.
-No please, let me sit this one out.
-Let's go. You're the one who wanted to be a photographer.
-I resign.
-Too late. You're in for life, let's move it out Private Shutterbug.
-Christ, I hope this isn't more crappy folk art. It's so quaint... it's so primal... it's so crap.
-Aw, it ain't crap... it's... cute. ...and really who are we to judge the artistic merit of the tin-can Mona Lisa?
-I swear I've aged five years since this trip started.
-Tell me about it.
-God, I hate falling asleep in the afternoon. Now I'll be up all night... ...ugh, my back is killing me.
-It will be nice to have a few days off to regenerate. This trip is fun, but it's starting to get brutal.
-Yeah, I hit burn out mode back at that old stripper lady's place. Watching her dance around with those ratty-looking animals was ridiculous.
-I know, that was some crazy shit. I never in a million years would have believed it if I hadn't seen it.
-A decent meal every once in a while wouldn't hurt either, this road food is crap.
-If I never eat at another Waffle House again, I can die a happy girl.
-Scattered, smothered and covered.
-Geez, he never gets tired does he.
-Never. I swear to God he never sleeps, he goes to bed after me, wakes up before me. He's always working on 10.
-Let's just skip it. It is probably nothing anyway.
-Stick her in the front, if you want to pick her up so bad. She's soaked.
-Don't even say it.
-You got to be fucking joking.
-I think I'm going fucking crazy.
-She said we look like pussy lickers or some shit like that.
-How long has it been?
-What was that?
-What? I didn't hear anything.
-I don't hear anything.
-Shhhhhh, quiet.
-I still don't.
-Jesus Christ.
-Excuse me, may I please use your phone?
-A couple hours!
-Don't be such a fucking smart ass.
-What'd we here, Georgie?
-A vehicle registered to a William S. Hudley.
-Holy Jesus, somebody had themselves a field day beating the shit outta this thing.
-Yeah, no mercy here.
-Recover any bodies?
-Not yet.
-Shit, I wonder what these kids did to bring this much hell down on 'em.
-Just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
-That's the understatement of the year.
-God damn.
-You find something, Georgie?
-What'd ya got there?
-Keys.
-Well Christ boy, don't stand there like a prize dog dick with his butthole caught up a tree.
-Huh?
-Open up the trunk.
-Hey, maybe the guy with the tow truck could drive us to a phone.
-His name is Rufus, Rufus Jr., but we all call him R.J.
-Oh, right.
-What do they call you, sweety?
-So, what brings you kids way out here, ain't you got something better to do for Halloween than wander around out here in the sticks?
-Well, I thought I'd maybe take in a hoedown.
-Oh, really... ...well, I'm a pretty good dancer if you know what I mean... I bet I got a few moves you ain't never seen.
-And I'm gonna help put the razor blades in the candy apples.
-I'll bet you are... you are a naughty little thing aren't ya.
-Great. I thought I felt a certain attraction between Mary and Tiny soon as he walked in.
-Maybe. He's a real lady killer.
-I've been meaning to ask you, Mrs... Ummmm.
-Firefly.
-For the show. It's Halloween eve and time for our show.
-Oh, you mean on TV.
-No, no, no it's so much more special than that... you'll see, you'll be the first to ever see. I think this is something you'll really love.
-Bye sweety, we could of been great together.
-Please, let us go, we won't tell anybody.
-I'm gonna go ask him.
-Aw, come on Jerry. We've gotten all we're gonna get out of this place and its starting to rain.
-We hit the jackpot! Let's roll, good buddy. We got ourselves a convoy.
-Just back up.
-I'll go. It's my fault.
-God damn it, I must be fucking crazy to let him go off with that crazy fucking bitch.
-Huh?
-That stupid hillbilly slut.
-Oh, don't blow everything out of proportion.
-Hold on, hold on! Everybody calm down! It's the tow truck guy.
-OK lassies, I think it's time you get to gripping reality.
-This is way too fucked up for words.
-I'm with Denise, can't we just walk to someplace, this is getting fucking stupid.
-Oh, I get it... I guess you think you're too good for the simple pleasures of Halloween.
-No, just a little too old.
-I know you're my guests and welcome but I'd please advise you to keep from cussing while in my house, thank you.
-Sorry.
-I suggest you kids leave now.
-Why? Why are you doing this?
-Doing what? Messy up your day? Well, fuck lady there are some bigger issues at hand... than your fucking have a nice fucking day bumper sticker shit!
-Where's Bill?
-Where is he?
-Behold... The Fish-Boy!
-This can't be real, this can't be real, this can't be real.
-Fuck you, you fucking freak!
-What are you doing? ...no, stop... please, please.
-Well hello, officer.
-Excuse me, I'm sorry for disturbing you this fine afternoon.
-Aw, you ain't disturbing me, but it kind of looks like rain, don't ya think?
-My name is Lt. Wydell, I'd like to ask you a few questions.
-Questions? Well, heck, I'll tell you anything you want to know.
-I appreciate your cooperation. I'm looking for a missing girl... ...this girl here, Denise Willis... have you seen her?
-Please, could I please come in and talk to you for a minute? Maybe you could take a better look at the picture... might stir up something.
-I um... no, I don't think so...
-Please, just a minute.
-Thank you.
-Think... do any of these kids look familiar in any way?
-Grampa... watch the language.
-Otis! Otis! Come quick, there's cops outside.
-I don't know. I only saw one.
-I'm sure there's more than that... fucking pigs always travel in packs... ...here, take this.
-What should I do?
-I'm the one who brings the devil's brandy...
-Who's your Daddy!
-Get in... now!
-That's true, Otis... not that we're having a bad time, but...
-Hey.
-Local girl, Karen Murphy, been missing for a couple months, figured for a runaway.
-Fit the profile?
-Christ, four kids couldn't just disappear.
-No they couldn't, somebody had to see something.
-Turn up this road.
-Shit, don't these packrat hillbillies throw anything away?
-Yeah, I hear it... where's it coming from?
-We gotta break it open.
-Tell it to my daughter.
-Jesus Christ.
-Fuck, go to the car... call for backup. Tell 'em officer down.
-Mr. Willis?
-Yes, sir.
-Well, we were on our way out to run a check on a couple farmhouses out on the edge of town... closest thing we got to a lead at this point.
-That's it?
-Well, all we know is the kids were headed out to a spot the locals call Deadwood to play Nancy Drew with some local legend about this character everybody calls Dr. Satan.
-What about the body you found?
-Her part in this I can't figure... but I will.
-I'm sure there's a logical explanation.
-Well, let's go see if the nut that runs this place can help us.
-Boss, the way I see it is these kids probally stop off somewhere, bought a bunch of booze and are off getting shitfaced.
-I hope you're right, but my guts are telling me different.
-Your Spidey senses tingling.
-Yeah... ...huh, what the hell are you talking about?
-You know, your hyper sensitive Spidey senses... like Spider-man... ...you know, like in the comics.
-How old do you think I am? I know who the fuck Spider-man is. Get to your point.
-You know, his senses start tingling... when he was approaching danger and shit.
-I always favored the Hulk.
-Hulk was dumb as shit.
-Aw, fuck.
-Plates match.
-You sure this guy's supposed to ride with us? Seems kind of weird.
-Chief said pick him up and take him with us on our house to house. Guy's an ex-cop, thinks he can help.
-Sounds like a bad idea to me, probally just get in the way.
-Yeah, well I guess it's tough to sit on the sidelines and wait when your own kid's missing... besides, ain't no such thing as an ex-cop.
-I guess not.
-Yeah it's horseshit, just some boogieman crap that the kids like to scare each other with.
-Don't worry, we'll find her.
-I'm gonna see if anybody's home. You and Mr. Willis take a look around the grounds for any sign of anything.
-Wydell.
-Over.
-And furthermore... Tell him, Harold.
-That is the wrong fork, young man. Harold, tell the boy.
-Harold! Tell the boy again.
-No "buts." Go to your room now.
-And?
-Tell him, Harold.
-Tell him, Harold.
-Lila, what are you doing in there? I need to get ready for my date.
-I don't know why you didn't tell me about this.
-It's embarrassing, okay?
-It's not so bad. So, it just keeps growing?
-Yeah, Natalie. It's hair. It grows.
-Well, don't jump down my throat. I'm just trying to help.
-How is that helping, Natalie? How exactly?
-Look, if you're going to be like that... You should be appreciative that I'm interested.
-Why, because I'm a freak and you are beautiful, and you are being nice enough to come down to my freak, nonbeautiful level and act concerned about my repulsive troubles?
-Hello, my little boy.
-Hey, ma. Did you bring any clothes? I'm freezing my ass off.
-Oui. Nathan's silk suit, just like you asked.
-Say my name.
-Gabrielle.
-You remind me so much of Nathan.
-Like father, like son.
-You remind me so much of Nathan plus so much of my little mongrel doggie.
-As much as I loved Nathan, I'm not sorry she killed him, if it means I can have you. Is that a terrible thing to say, my sweet?
-Let's go eat, I'm starved.
-French?
-Only three shocks. A chimp takes fifteen. This is going to be tres simple, no, Gabrielle?
-Oui, doctor, oui.
-Good morning... We need a name for him, don't we?
-Oui.
-You decide. Today is your day.
-Really? My day? Well, I had a sweet little mongrel puppie named Puff when I was a girl. This one reminds me of my dog, all shaggy! So cute! I loved my doggie very much, monsieur.
-Puff it is then. Puff Bronfman. Is that okay?
-Oui. Perfect!
-Oh, Hi, Gabrielle.
-No. Don't be. I really enjoy hearing that. You're a terrific assistant.
-Merci. I... Do you... would you like to go get a cup of coffee, perhaps?
-Well, I don't know. I'm actually on my way to...
-Now I am truly embarrassed. Forgive me. I should not have asked such a stupid question. I know you are a very important man and...
-No. Don't be silly. It's just...
-Thank you so much for accompanying me.
-Not at all.
-I have had such a difficult time in my personal life and you seem to be such a nice man... but I'm talking too much again, no?
-Of course not.
-Listen, you're the best assistant I've ever had... Gabrielle.
-Oh, Doctor. I did not know. I'm sorry to disturb you. I just came for some papers I left.
-Gabrielle. No, I'm sorry if I startled you. I came to think. God, Did I hang up on you?
-Oui. Perhaps I called at a bad time. I am sorry.
-No. I just got distracted. I'm so sorry.
-Is everything fine?
-Oui. Now you've got me talking French.
-I was in my p.j.'s when I remembered I left some papers I need to go over. See? I rushed right out of the house. I must look a mess. I'm so embarrassed.
-Coincidence, yes? And how is our son?
-Our...? Oh! He seems fine. I guess we woke him. The lights and all.
-I should turn them off. Maybe I sing him a lullaby my mama sang to me when I was a little girl.
-When you were a little French girl?
-Oui.
-Shall we close up, then?
-Maybe we should just sit for a while. It's very peaceful.
-It's nice, yes. I'm glad I ran into you, both in our silly pajamas. It is two happy coincidences, no?
-Yes. Happy happy.
-Yet you look so sad. A great man like you should not be sad.
-I am sleepy.
-I shouldn't say this, but you're pretty, Gabrielle. It's unprofessional, I know.
-Really? I always think myself so ugly. No, not ugly, but plain. A wallflower.
-Really? No. Not at all. You're a very pretty girl. You should know that. You should be confident.
-Thank you so much. Merci. It's very wonderful to hear a man say such a nice compliment.
-It's true. I wouldn't lie.
-So soft. So smooth. I'm sorry. It's just...
-What is wrong, my darling?
-Dr. Bronfman's line. Yes. One moment please. Lila.
-Yeah. Okay. Be home around seven. Bye. What? I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do?
-I don't know, Nathan. What are you supposed to do?
-You don't abandon somebody because they have a physical problem.
-Isn't Puff doing spectacularly, honey?
-Hmmmph.
-Gabby, what is it?
-Hmmph. Hmmph. Nathan, we have to talk, you and I.
-Fine.
-Not in front of the boy.
-My little French.
-Stop. Get away.
-What is it?
-You have to choose Nathan. It's like Sophie's choice. Only it is Nathan's choice. Did you ever see that movie, Sophie's Choice? It is like that. Only it is this.
-Gabby, you know I'm trying to sort things out.
-I love you so much, Gabrielle.
-But?... But? There is a "but," Nathan.
-You were wonderful today, darling. Such authority with the ape-man boy. It made me so hot for you.
-Unnhh.
-The way you are taming him, it sends chills down my girlish spine and... everywhere else, too.
-Urgh.
-Yeah? What?
-Call you back. You bastard! What do you want?
-I just want to talk.
-Please. Just one minute of your time.
-Why? You've made your decision, Mister Stinky American! Now I hate you! No, I don't hate you; I don't even think about you!
-Like what?
-Well, I think it would be easier if I could talk to you in person.
-Well, I think...
-You think too much. I need a man who doesn't think so much but acts more than he thinks... is what I need!
-What?
-You heard me! You make me sick when you pretend to not understand what I am saying to you! Go away from here!
-Well?
-God, you're beautiful.
-Please. I look a mess.
-No. You look so beautiful.
-Anyway. Come already to the point.
-I'm... I'm going to leave Lila. I can't stop thinking about you.
-I've moved on.
-No!
-I've been seeing Johannsen in chemistry.
-That goddamn Neanderthal? I'm the one who gave him the idea for the combination bug spray-sun screen! Did you know that?!
-That's not how he tells it.
-Of course not, that Swedish thief! He's a thief of hearts! I love you, Gabrielle.
-Hunh.
-Just give me some time to let Lila down easily. She's a really nice girl and I don't want to hurt her more than is necessary.
-You were wonderful!
-Was I? I wasn't a tad stiff?
-So we've got seventeen new bookings for speaking engagements, my wonderful men.
-Lila?
-A penny for your thoughts, mon cheri.
-Yes, please, somebody ask him what is wrong.
-I want our boy back.
-Oui.
-That bitch. I worked so hard. We worked so hard, you and I. He would've made us famous.
-We still have you and I.
-I know. And that's great. But it would be great in a better way, not a better way but a different way, if I could find him and bring him back.
-Where do we look for little lost Puff?
-I have some thoughts. I think that hairy bitch is somewhere trying to turn him back into an ape.
-That is horrible. Apes are dirty. No?
-I'm going alone. This could be dangerous.
-Okay, my sweet. Good night.
-A little resistance would be nice, damn it.
-Please let me go with you.
-No.
-My apologies, madam.
-It's okay, Puff.
-It shan't happen again. I swear it. I'm just getting my sea legs, you know.
-Very well.
-We're going back to nature, you and I. I'm going to retrain you. I'm going to make you free again if I have to kill you doing it.
-You what?
-I want to be the way I was before.
-Nice night.
-You'll thank me eventually, Puff. Well, you won't thank me, because we won't be speaking, but you'll sort of thank me with a special look, the look a dog gives you to let you know he loves you.
-He's dead.
-We bury the body. We disappear into the woods. Nobody knows.
-No. This is the end of the road. There's a dead human being here. For all of his faults, he was a human being, and certainly a victim of his culture as much as anybody.
-Forget him, Lila. We'll disappear. We'll never talk about it again. We'll never talk again period. I love you.
-Puff, what happened to you is as much my fault as Nathan's. Maybe more so, because I knew it was wrong and I went along with it anyway. I'm taking responsibility for the murder. I want you to go back to your old life.
-I won't let you do that. I shot the bastard. And I'm glad.
-No. Go back to the woods. This is a sacrifice I need to make. In my world we have something called penance. It's another abstraction, but I had the concept drummed into my head during my years in the convent. It doesn't exist for you, and it shouldn't. See, I could never be free again anyway, so I might as well be in jail.
-Then I'll live for both of us, Lila. I'll be the most free, truest animal in the whole forest. For both of us.
-That's what I'm counting on.
-But first I'll live among them, just long enough to testify before congress about the waywardness of humankind.
-Progress!
-Ouch. Yeah?
-Oh yes, honey. Getting to be smooth smooth smooth all over. Smooth as a baby's butt.
-I love it, Rose. I'm getting to be a real girl.
-You still in the market for a real boy?
-Always. Ow.
-Cause there's this guy. My brother knows him. Might be right up your alley.
-Tell me. I could use someone up my alley.
-I don't get that. Is that sexual?
-Shut up and tell me.
-Handsome, thirties, psychologist...
-Loves animals? Ouch. Must love animals, Rose.
-Loves animals. Loves you.
-What do you mean?
-Somehow it came up that you were a friend of mine. Mr. handsome, animal- loving psychologist said he would love to meet you.
-Holy shit. Your brother didn't tell him about the nature of our relationship, did he?
-My brother is discreet.
-Won't he be able to tell?
-My brother says the guy's a thirty- five year old virgin, so maybe he won't know how women usually feel. Plus he's got bad eyesight, almost legally blind, which is helpful in this situation. Plus he's got an extremely small penis, of which he is "mortifyingly ashamed", so chances are he'll be so grateful for any non- judgmental attention, that he'll be yours forever.
-God, he must be really close to your brother to tell him such personal stuff.
-So?
-I really like him, Rose. He's so... ...passionate about his work.
-My brother says he likes you, too.
-Really?
-My brother says things are going really well between you and Nathan.
-I cannot believe how in love I am with this man.
-Yeah?
-He's so cute. I even like his cute little penis. It's like a little pig's penis or something. Rose, we connect on every level. I've finally found someone I can feel completely safe with.
-Don't throw that away. I had that once with a guy. But I threw it away for a cheap thrill.
-One night stand?
-No. I married a midget.
-Marrying a midget was a cheap thrill?
-Well he wasn't really a midget. He was on the cusp of midgethood. That's what made it cheap. Had he been an actual midget, there would've been nothing cheap about it, my dear.
-I didn't know you were into that sort of thing.
-Let me tell you, honey, midgets are the best kept secret in male companionship. They're portable. They're controllable. They're eager. And they're exactly the right height for a little covert oral fun on the dance floor.
-I have a friend you might like to meet.
-Oh?
-Three foot one.
-Be still my crotch.
-Rose, Nathan's no midget, but he's asked me to move in with him.
-Yeah. My brother told me.
-And I think I'm going to.
-No maid service! For God's sake, can't you read the fucking "do not disturb" sign on the fucking doorknob?
-Lila, it's Rosie.
-Go the fuck away, Rosie.
-Please, honey, let me in.
-Rose, please go away.
-How'd you know where I was?
-Nathan told my brother.
-Your brother should have his license revoked.
-Yeah, although I'm not going to turn him in. I like hearing the dirt.
-I don't know, honey. I don't know. Maybe he just didn't want to get involved.
-Oh, Rosie.
-Done!
-Uh, tie them up, Rosie. If you will.
-I'm going to miss you.
-Oh, Rosie.
-And I'm going to miss the lifestyle having you as a client has afforded me.
-I like you so much, with or without hair. But don't spread that around. Bad for business.
-I'll be in touch.
-Meditations on a Banana Slug was a delightful read.
-Thank you so much. I love slugs. All slugs, not just banana slugs.
-As do I.
-They're so even keel. They forge ahead with slow determination. They don't get distracted or side-tracked. They don't care what they look like. They don't care that people look at them and go, "Ewww. A slug."
-They don't seem to be especially ego driven, this is true.
-You've got to respect that.
-I have to say that I'm not there yet.
-Where?
-Slugdom. Sluggishness. Whatever you'd call it. I'm not there yet. I still have many human characteristics.
-That's not necessarily a bad thing.
-Yes. I suppose not. But still. One would like to move along. To move beyond.
-I'm not sure we can escape our natures. Believe me I've tried. I'm not even so sure anymore that we should want to.
-I love that you said that. It makes me feel a bit lighter. I've been rather heavy lately. Thinking about my childhood. Realizing how much a product I am of my upbringing. I've been seeing someone. A therapist.
-You are a therapist, right?
-No no. I'm a psychologist, but I do research. I'm a behaviorist. I work with animals. Mice at the moment.
-I hope you don't perform any of those dreadful torture experiments, Nathan.
-Heavens no. My work now is... Right now I'm teaching mice... well, table manners, to be candid.
-How's it going?
-Quite well, really. It's a lot of work. A lot of reinforcement, mostly positive. Right now I've gotten two of my subjects to use napkins. Tiny napkins of course.
-Paper or cloth?
-I hope you don't think me daft. It's important work. It's part of a larger sociological experiment. I'm federally funded.
-What's the larger experiment?
-It's my thesis that if table manners can be taught to mice, they can be taught to humans.
-Going out on a limb, aren't you, Nathan?
-The truth is most people don't have table manners today. And when the foundations of civilized society crumble and disappear, civilized society in its entirely follows closely at its heels.
-I'm not sure.
-Courtesy, decorum, manners, are all sadly lacking from our daily intercourse. Rudeness, vulgarity, meanness are the norm.
-We are animals after all.
-It looks wonderful.
-Um-mmm. Oh Nathan, this salad is delish...
-My God! The fork! The fork!
-I'm sorry?
-Tell her, Harold... It's just that... It's nothing. It's just that the outside fork is the salad fork. One goes from the outside in as the dinner progresses.
-Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Nathan. I never really learned those things.
-Boy, this is good!
-I'm sorry that I became so upset.
-No, I'm sorry. I'm really backward in certain areas.
-It's only that I really enjoy your company and...
-You do?
-Yes, and...
-You really enjoy my company?
-It's just that I have some peculiarities, and...
-I like you, too, Nathan.
-You do?
-Yeah But I have some peculiarities also.
-Actually, Mother and Father, you look very, very old. You look terrible.
-What are you doing in there?
-I'll be out in a minute.
-I'm sorry about my parents.
-You didn't seem sorry when you were laughing at all your mother's stupid, tasteless, cruel animal jokes.
-I was simply attempting to keep the evening light. You know that I feel similarly to you about nature.
-Do you?
-Do you? Oh do you, darling?
-Oh, darling. I'm so relieved. Let's celebrate with a long hike in the woods tomorrow!
-It'll be wonderful! I'll show you my old stomping grounds!
-Shaving cream?
-Darling, did you bring the insect repellent lotion?
-Yes, darling.
-Oh, and the sun block?
-Of course.
-What SPF, sweetie?
-Fifteen.
-Perfectomundo! We are ready! Say, wouldn't it be wonderful to have an insect repellent lotion that also worked as a sun block? Think of all the time one would save.
-Yes, darling.
-I think I'll get Johannsen in chemistry on that. Oh! Did you bring the first aid kit?
-Yes.
-Flares?
-Absolutely.
-We could call it "Quit Bugging Me, Sunny." Get it? Sunny. S-u-n-n-y.
-That's very funny.
-Did you see that?
-What?
-I don't know. Something.
-A deer?
-No. Too... upright. Might've been a person.
-Come on.
-You'll catch cold. It's cold. What do you suppose he is, a survivalist?
-I think he's feral.
-Feral? Don't touch him! He might be diseased! He might... My God, rabies!
-He looks perfectly fine.
-I think we should go. Please. Before he wakes up and, I don't know, eats us, or whatever feral things do.
-I don't understand you. This is fascinating and you just want to run away. I mean, here we have a human being totally uncontaminated by civilization, totally free, and all you want to do is run back to your...
-Actually, I just had an amusing thought.
-What?
-Feral, huh? Totally uncontaminated?
-Look at him. He doesn't understand English. He moves like an animal.
-It's perfect!
-Nathan, what the hell are you talking about?
-Forget mice! Actually forget guinea pigs, cats, monkeys, and chimps also. I'm on to stage five: The human subject.
-Oh no. You can't take him from his home, Nathan.
-Don't you see? He's my Tabula Rasa, my Eliza Dolittle. He's my ticket to the top of the Behaviorist food chain. He's going to make me famous.
-I won't allow you. It's wrong. He's happy here.
-Is he, Lila? Is he happy living filthy and naked alone in this tick infested wilderness? Never to know the love of a good woman, never to revel in the pitter-patter of little feet, never to read Moby Dick, or marvel at a Monet, or just sit back after a day of hard but rewarding work, smoke a pipe, and wonder about the nature
-You'd be taking away his freedom, Nathan.
-...what is it that makes us human, if not the knowledge that we are indeed human? Think of this poor soul's education as the greatest gift we could bestow upon...
-All right.
-What are you doing in there?
-Who is it?
-Who is it?
-Who from work?
-It's hormonal, Nathan. I can't help it. I'm sorry.
-Your entire body?
-I'm getting electrolysis. It's working, but it takes time. So meanwhile I have to...
-You have to shave? Like an ape?
-Apes don't shave, you son of a bitch!
-Don't quibble. You know what I mean.
-I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me for this.
-Mad? I'm I'm... disgusted!
-I'm the same person I was before you knew, damn it! Oh God!
-Was that okay? I mean, was I able to... satisfy you?
-You are an animal.
-Really? Wow! That's that's terrific to hear from someone so... feminine, so female.
-I love being female because it, how do you say, allows me to be close to men.
-So, how's it going today?
-Good. Making progress.
-Everything's fine, honey. We don't need to talk. Besides I have to work late.
-Are you seeing somebody else, Nathan? I just have to know.
-Of course not.
-It would just be helpful to know.
-No.
-Because, you know, you seem so distant. And you work late every night. And we hardly ever have sex, and when we do, it's... I don't know. It feels different.
-I'm just preoccupied.
-Do you like my new look?
-Yeah. It's nice. It's really good.
-I'm trying, you know. I'm trying to be what you want. I want to be what you want, Nathan. All I want is to be what you want.
-Shh. It's okay. It's okay, Lila. You're what I want. You know that. You're exactly what I want.
-Really?
-Sure. Of course.
-Because I'm really trying, you know. Rosie says maybe only another two years of the elctrolysis.
-That's great.
-That's great. It's a great color for you.
-Oh! I didn't see you there, sneaky boy! You're like a boy sneaking in...
-...the back door of a movie theater. Yes, indeed.
-You remember that from my book? I'm touched! What's wrong?
-Nothing. Hard day. Gonna have a drink.
-How's work?
-Cruddy, okay? Are you satisfied?
-No. I don't want your work to be cruddy.
-My assistant quit today. Okay? He was highly valuable to the project.
-Oh, baby. I'm sorry. Can't you hire somebody else?
-Hey! I could come work for you! I know I haven't been all that supportive of this project, but I've come around.
-Have you?
-Oh yes, baby! I think that this is a wonderful project you're doing, taking this poor unfortunate, uncivilized creature and turning him into a human being! What a wonderful wonderful compassionate man you are!
-Really?
-Yes! And I want to help. You won't have to pay me, and I was thinking of giving up that crazy nature writing anyway.
-How come?
-Who needs it? I have you and I have being a woman and I have thinking about womanly things! I love being a woman because...
-Such as what womanly things?
-Such as my man and how to please him! Such as making wonderful dinners for my man! Such as looking pretty for my man! And I'm writing an article on quilting for the Ladies Home Journal!
-I had sold my fucking soul.
-Bravo to you, Puff!
-I think he's ready.
-You just have to control it. We're not apes.
-Puff, I'm proud of you! You did remarkably well under difficult circumstances.
-I'm going to go down and check on Puff. See how he's holding up.
-Should I come with?
-Nah. You just relax. How's the book?
-You were gone a long time.
-Yeah. Puff and I got into a big, philosophical discussion. He's really quite well read, considering he's only been literate for a month now. He's going to make us famous, Lila.
-So he's doing okay?
-Seemed fine. Quiet evening enjoying his new digs.
-That's funny because, you know, I just went and picked him up at some flophouse on the lower eastside. He called here when he ran out of his "mad" money after spending an entire evening drinking, watching strippers, and fucking a whore! Oh, and what did you do tonight, honey?
-Shit.
-And what did you do tonight, honey?
-I've fallen in love with somebody else, Lila.
-And what did you do tonight, honey?
-I fucked her! Okay? I fucked her. I'm sorry. But that's what the hell I did.
-Do you know what I gave up to be with you?
-Yes.
-I gave up my soul, my beliefs. I gave up my body hair!
-Yeah, well, I'm sorry. The human heart is a strange thing.
-How the hell would you know anything about the human heart?
-Shut up! Yeah, this is Lila, cunt. And don't let the hirsutism fool you. I know more about being a woman, and more about the black hearts of men than you, in your pretty little powdered, bullshit fantasy world, can ever imagine. I know the darkness and cruelty of nature, sweetie pie.
-Lila, you don't intend to hurt us, do you?
-Aha! Finally. I've covered almost the entire seaboard and parts of eastern Ohio.
-Look at you two. You both disgust me.
-Oook. Oook.
-Shut up! I gave you... life. I created you in my image, Puff. I took you from this primordial ooze and brought you into the world of culture and art and manners. And this is how you repay me? By heading back to the ooze first chance you get? I should leave you here with Lila the ape woman. It would serve you right,
-Ooka.
-Good-eve-n-ing-lay-dees-and-gent- elmen.
-Oh boy!
-Now, Puff, we're leaving on the electronic collar. I don't think we'll need to shock you, but just in case.
-This is great, Puff. You're doing fine.
-I don't think this aversion therapy is really necessary, doctor. I understand the problem.
-Humor me, Puff. It's essential that I am able to trust you to function independently in the world.
-I bow to your expertise in these matters.
-Excellent work, Puff. Extra desert tonight.
-Yahoo!
-Did I? I tried so hard! I really concentrated! Oh, I'm so happy!
-And because you did so well, we have a little surprise for you.
-Extra dessert?
-Free to come and go as you please. There's some "mad money" in the night table drawer.
-It's wonderful! Do you think I'm ready? Do you really?
-I trust that you'll make good, mature decisions. I trust that you'll do the proper thing.
-Oh, I will! Your very trust has instilled an enormous sense of responsibility in me. I don't want to disappoint you.
-Good. Remember, when in doubt: Don't ever do what you really want to do.
-Puff, why don't you say a few words to the assemblage.
-Thanks to you, Nate.
-And of course to you, my sweet, for your... moral support.
-Interesting.
-Ugnh.
-Oh please, is that as articulate as you can be after all the time I spent teaching you? We've discussed Wittgenstein, for Christ's sake. Not that you ever had anything very original or challenging to say on the subject.
-Unn.
-Puff, put the gun down.
-Ounpoo. Ungh.
-Let's be reasonable human beings here. We're all reasonable human beings, aren't we?
-Unka unka unka unka unka.
-Look, why don't you and Lila stay here and have your natural life. I'll just go on my way. You'll never see me again.
-You did create me in your image, Nathan. Before you I was a simple, happy, complete being, in harmony with the world around me. After you I became duplicitous, cynical, angry, anal, totally out of touch with my surroundings. In a word, Nathan, I became you. Lila has reintroduced me to myself. And, incidentally, what I'm about to do, kill you, is something that
-So anyway, that's the nightmare I've been having lately.
-Do you suppose it has anything to do with Lila's unusually hairy body?
-No, why?
-Well, it seems that since Lila broached the subject of children, you've been on edge and I know you have an issue with the, uh, body hair.
-Oh, I see. Yes, that's something to think about. That's very good. That's what you get the big bucks, right? Ha ha.
-I just think it might be important to explore your feelings for Lila.
-I love Lila. I mean, she's a wonderful person. And... she loves me! That's no small potatoes. I mean she really loves me. She's sacrificed so much to be in this relationship with me. And she's a good person. A truly good person. How rare is that in this world, eh? And how could I stop loving somebody because of a little physical imperfection,
-Wait!
-Yes?
-Mother?
-It's a pleasure to meet you, mother. But I'm an ape like dad was... And I have to go back into the woods now... forever.
-Yes, I suppose so. I suppose I knew that was going to be what you would say. It's good to see you again though.
-Yes.
-I'm in the book, if you ever want to drop me a line or something.
-Boys just passing through?
-Yep.
-Pittsburgh?
-Mm hmm.
-Comin' in or goin' out?
-Goin' in. We got a sales convention. Gotta be there tomorrow.
-Thanks. Sure is a hot day for driving. Late afternoon is better. You guys have plenty of time. Make Pittsburgh in two, maybe three hours.
-About sixty, seventy bucks.
-Give me some bourbon. J. T. S. Brown.
-You want a chaser?
-Hey, another one for me and another one for the lady.
-Check!
-Give me a bottle of beer.
-Huh?
-You sure you going to be comfortable enough there, Miss... ah... ?
-Packard. Sarah Packard.
-It always takes me a little while to get a name fixed in my mind. Are you sure you don't want anything?
-No, I'm fine.
-You, uh, you ever been to Louisville during Derby week, Miss, ah, Packard?
-I've never been to Louisville.
-I'm ready.
-What makes you know so much? How do you know what Eddie was thinking?
-Doesn't your lighter work, Mr. Gordon?
-It's all right, Eddie. I'm sure Mr. Gordon meant no offense. It was a figure of speech.
-That's right, Miss Packard.
-And a fact is a fact.
-Oh, wait a minute, Miss Packard.
-I want to talk to you.
-Do we need words?
-Yeah, I think we do. We could try to cut each other up. But that would be bad for everybody. Bad for me, bad for you. And worst of all, be bad for Eddie.
-You know what's good for him?
-To win.
-For whom and for what?
-For what makes the world go round. For money, and for glory.
-You didn't answer my first question. For whom?
-All right. Today for me, tomorrow for himself.
-No, there's no tomorrow. Not with you. You own all the tomorrows because you buy them today, and you buy cheap.
-You bastard.
-I'll make it up to you.
-How?
-Are you ready for another?
-In a little while. That's what you want, isn't it?
-Put it on the bed. That's the way it's done, isn't it?
-That's the way it's done.
-And the way you're looking at me, is that the way you look at a man you've just beaten? As if you'd just taken his money, and now all you want is... his pride?
-All I want's the money.
-Could be.
-We'll be there.
-Oh, we'll start small... a hundred dollars a game.
-I'm sure Mr. Felson knows what he's doing. Certainly you can afford a hundred dollars to find out.
-How much?
-Oh, about five hundred.
-Do you really think you can beat him?
-Of course he thinks he can beat me, Bert. He wouldn't be playing me if he didn't. Right, Felson?
-Have you noticed, Bert? This fellow here bears a striking resemblance to you. It seems as though you might have modeled for the artist.
-That seems a shame. The night is young.
-Will you take a check, Bert?
-Cash.
-How much do I owe you?
-Hey, mister.
-The name's Gordon. Bert Gordon.
-Stay with this kid. He's a loser.
-Okay?
-Make it twenty.
-Cut.
-Bourbon. J. T. S. Brown.
-I'm buyin'.
-Thought you only drank milk.
-Only when I work.
-Yeah? Why?
-I like it. It's good for you. Besides, you start drinking whisky gambling and it gives you an excuse for losing. That's something you don't need -- an excuse for losing. How did you make out in the poker game?
-I lost twenty bucks.
-Poker's not your game.
-What is?
-Pool.
-You being cute?
-I don't think there's a pool player alive shoots better pool than I saw you shoot the other night at Ames. You got talent.
-So I got talent. So what beat me?
-Character.
-Yeah. Sure, sure.
-You're damned right I'm sure. Everybody's got talent. I got talent. You think you can play big-money straight pool, or poker, for forty straight hours on nothing but talent? You think they call Minnesota Fats the best in the country just 'cause he's got talent? Nah. Minnesota Fats's got more character in one finger than you got in your whole skinny body.
-I got drunk.
-He drank as much whisky as you did.
-Maybe he knows how to drink.
-You bet he knows how. You think that's a talent too, huh? Knowin' how to drink whisky? You think Minnesota Fats was born knowin' how to drink?
-Okay, okay... What do I do now, lie down on the floor and, uh, bow from the ankles? What do I do, go home?
-That's your problem.
-Maybe by that time you'll die of old age. How much do you think you'll, uh, need?
-A thousand.
-No, three thousand at least. He'll start you off at five hundred a game -- he'll beat the pants off you. That's the way he plays when he comes up against a man who knows the way the game is. He'll beat you flat four or five games -- maybe more, depending on how, uh... steady your nerves are. But he might -- he
-How do you know? Huh? When nobody knows that much?
-See that big car parked out by the fireplug on the way in? Well, that's mine. I like that car. But I get a new one every year because I make it my business to know what guys like you and Minnesota Fats are gonna do. I made enough off of you the other night to pay for it twice over.
-Eddie, is it all right if I get personal?
-Whaddya been so far?
-Eddie, you're a born loser.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-First time in ten years I ever saw Minnesota Fats hooked, really hooked. But you let him off.
-I told you. I got drunk.
-Sure, you got drunk. That's the best excuse in the world for losing. No trouble losing when you got a good excuse. And winning! That can be heavy on your back too. Like a monkey. You drop that load too when you got an excuse. All you gotta do is learn to feel sorry for yourself. It's one of the best indoor sports: feeling
-Thanks for the drink.
-Wait a minute. Maybe I can help you.
-To do what?
-Get the three thousand. Play Minnesota Fats again.
-Why?
-Ten reasons. Maybe fifteen. And also there's something in it for me.
-Oh yeah, I figured that. How much?
-Seventy-five per cent.
-For who?
-For me.
-That's a -- that's a pretty big slice. Who do you think you are, General Motors?
-How much you think you're worth these days? I'm puttin' up the money, I'm puttin' up the time. For that I get seventy-five per cent return on my money -- if you win.
-You think I can lose?
-I never saw you do anything else.
-You saw me beat Minnesota Fats for eighteen thousand dollars.
-Look, you wanna hustle pool, don't you? This game isn't like football. Nobody pays you for yardage. When you hustle you keep score real simple. The end of the game you count up your money. That's how you find out who's best. That's the only way.
-Why back me then? Why not back yourself? Go find yourself a big fat poker game and get rich. You know all the angles.
-I'm already rich. But I like action. That's one thing I think you're good for is action. Besides, like I say... you got talent.
-Yeah, you already told me that. You cut that slice down to bite-size and maybe we can talk.
-No, we don't talk. I don't make bad bets. Seventy-five, twenty-five. That's it.
-Hey, wait. What are you gonna do about the money?
-There are places. I'll scuffle around.
-Word's out on you, Eddie. You walk in the wrong kind of place and they'll eat you alive.
-Now, when did you adopt me?
-Hello, Eddie.
-Hi. How's business?
-Ahh, slow... Why the open hand bridge? Something wrong with your hand?
-Yeah. Had a little accident. A place called Arthur's.
-Oh. You seem to do all right that way.
-I'd say my game is about twenty per cent off. Maybe more.
-What happened? Somebody step on your hands?
-Yeah. Big creep. Broke my thumbs.
-Man named Turk Baker?
-You know everybody, don't you?
-Everybody who can hurt me, everybody who can help me. It pays.
-Maybe you oughta give me lessons.
-Sign up.
-Where do I sign?
-The first match I got in mind for you is in Louisville, Kentucky.
-You name the place, boss. I'll be there.
-What happened to you anyway?
-Like I told ya. My thumbs.
-No, I don't mean the thumbs. You already told me about the thumbs.
-I been thinking.
-Thinking about what?
-Maybe I'm not such a high-class piece of property right now. And a twenty- five per cent slice of something big is better than a hundred per cent slice of nothin'.
-Sarah Packard... Bert Gordon.
-James Findley is a very rich man. Grandfather left him twenty per cent of a tobacco company.
-What? And he -- he hustles pool?
-He's a gentleman. Gentleman gambler. He gets his kicks playing with hustlers. He's got an old Southern mansion with a pool table in the basement, drinks eight-year-old bourbon, smokes cork-tipped cigarettes.
-How good is he?
-You must have a lot of confidence in me.
-I don't. But I got confidence in Findley.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Here, I got it.
-Fats knew the game was in the clutch, knew he had to do something to stop ya. He played it smart.
-I played that game, Bert. In my head I played it a thousand times.
-Fine.
-Good. I'd hate to think I was putting my money on a cripple.
-You know, that's real sweet music in there. You can almost smell the action and the money. You know, I can feel it right down in the bottom of my shoes.
-Hey, Findley's here.
-Where?
-Aren't you gonna go over and talk to him?
-So does Eddie.
-What's the matter? What happened?
-Well, we won't.
-C'mon, Bert. Let me play him.
-Sure.
-How do we stand?
-'Bout even.
-When do I raise the bet?
-I don't know.
-Bert, if that's his best game, I can beat him.
-Level with me, Eddie. You ever play billiards before?
-I can beat him.
-I'll beat him the next game.
-How're the hands?
-They're fine.
-Hey, Bert. Wait a minute!
-I can beat him, Bert. Now he suckered me 'cause he knows how to hustle. I didn't think he did. But I can outplay him. I can beat him.
-I don't believe you, Eddie. I think you're still a loser.
-Please don't get off me now.
-I know when to quit. You don't. Win or lose, you don't know when to quit.
-I wanna walk.
-It's a long walk.
-I got time, Bert.
-You want me to tell her for you?
-Tell her what?
-Eddie?... YOU OWE ME MONEY!
-And just how do you figure that, Bert? What do you figure I owe you?
-Half.
-In Louisville it was seventy-five per cent.
-Well, here it's half.
-What if I don't pay ya, Bert?
-So you figure you're still my manager, huh?
-I'm a businessman, kid.
-Well, you got a lot of games lined up for me?
-Yeah, we're gonna make a lotta money together, from now on.
-Fifty per cent?
-No, it don't have to be fifty. It can be thirty... twenty-five.
-We really stuck the knife in her, didn't we, Bert?
-Aaaahhhh!
-Boy, we really gave it to her good.
-If it didn't happen in Louisville, it'd happened someplace else. If it didn't happen now, it'd happen six months from now. That's the kinda dame she was.
-Maybe. You want to play?
-No. Hell, no! You Eddie Felson?
-Who's he?
-What's your game? What do you shoot?
-You name it, we shoot it.
-Look, friend, I'm not trying to hustle. I don't never hustle people that walk into poolrooms with leather satchels. Don't try to hustle me.
-Okay, I'm Eddie Felson. I shoot straight pool. You got any straight pool shooters in this here poolroom?
-What kind of straight pool game you like?
-The expensive kind.
-Come up here to play straight pool with Minnesota Fats?
-Yeah, that's right.
-He's my partner.
-You got that wrong, mister. I am.
-Okay, I told you what I wanted about Minnesota Fats. You just go ahead and play him, friend.
-Just tell me where I can find him, friend.
-Druggist supplies. Buster here is gonna get an award. No, he sold seventeen thousand bucks' worth of stuff last month. Fastest boy in the territory.
-It's gonna cost ya money. It always does.
-You ought to take up crap shooting. Talk about luck!
-Luck! Whaddya mean, luck?
-You know what I mean. You couldn't make that shot again in a million years.
-I couldn't, huh? Okay. Go ahead. Set 'em up the way they were before.
-Why?
-Go ahead. Set 'em up the way they were before. Bet ya twenty bucks. Make that shot just the way I made it before.
-Set 'em up again... C'mon, set 'em up again.
-You're drunk, boy. I'm not gonna bet ya any more.
-Whaddya mean?
-Let's get back on the road. You gotta be at that convention in the morning.
-Up the flagpole with the convention. C'mon, Charlie. You're into me now. I got my money on the table.
-Well... well, now.
-Don't be a chump. Don't bet any more money on that damn fool shot.
-It's quiet.
-Yeah, like a church. Church of the Good Hustler.
-Looks more like a morgue to me. Those pool tables are the slabs they lay the stiffs on.
-Ten grand. I'm gonna win ten grand in one night. ...Well, who's gonna beat me? C'mon, Charlie, who's gonna beat me?
-Okay... Okay. Nobody can beat you.
-How do you feel?
-Fast and loose, man.
-In the gut, I mean.
-Quit. He's too good.
-Hey, how much are we ahead?
-Approximately? One thousand bucks.
-How much we got?
-Eleven thousand four hundred, cash. Here in my pocket.
-Preacher, go on down and get me some breakfast, will ya? Egg sandwich and a cup of coffee. You want something, Charlie?
-Now wait a minute. You're coming with me. You're gonna eat breakfast at the hotel. Pool game is over.
-No, it isn't, Charlie.
-Eddie...
-The pool game is over when Fats says it's over.
-You wanted ten thousand? You got ten thousand.
-Ah, get with it, will ya, Charlie?
-Get with what?
-Twenty-five hours, Eddie. Twenty- five hours you been playin' straight.
-Give me a drink, will ya?
-You don't need a drink.
-What are you trying to do, Eddie? You beat him. You beat him bad. You wanna kill yourself?
-What are ya, chicken, Charlie?
-Well, maybe that's it. I'm chicken.
-Go on home. Just leave me the money.
-Go to hell.
-Charlie, boy, you better give me that money. C'mon now, give it to me. It's mine.
-Is this all we got left?
-Hello, Charlie... C'mon in... That's my girl.
-Hello, Eddie's girl... I looked all over for you.
-Oh yeah? How'd you find me?
-Oh, I don't want to be no bother to nobody.
-Oh, don't play it small, Charlie. It don't look good on you.
-How do you want me to play it? I'm broke.
-You walked out on me like that. No goodbye, no nothing. Like a thief in the dark. We were partners. We were more than partners. He was like a... like --
-A son.
-Yeah, yeah, like a son. I've known this boy since he was sixteen. The first time I saw him, back in Oakland, I said, "This is a talented boy. This is a smart boy."
-Talk to me, Charlie.
-I want you to come back on the road with me.
-Aah! I've got no stomach for that any more. I've had that kind of life.
-What kind of life have you got here? Scufflin' around the small rooms, picking up eight, ten bucks a day?
-I'll connect. I'll get you your money back.
-Are you figuring on going back to Ames to play Minnesota Fats again? Is that what's on your mind?
-Never been out of it. I'm gonna beat that fat man... with that curly hair, and those diamond rings, and that carnation.
-This boy's crazy. They wiped the floor with him. They beat his brains out and he wants to go back. What for? To take another beating?
-I told you you'd get your money back.
-With what?
-Don't worry about it. I'll raise the money.
-Oh yeah? Where?
-HOW MUCH?!
-My twenty-five per cent. Approximately fifteen hundred bucks.
-Oh, you crumb. With that fifteen hundred I coulda beat him. That's all I needed, Charlie.
-Aw, Eddie.
-C'mon, c'mon, just give me the money.
-What for? To play Fats again?
-Yeah, to play Fats again.
-You wanna come back on the road with me, okay, the money's yours. But if you wanna give it to Minnesota Fats... nothing doing. What do you say?
-You still don't see it, do you, Charlie? You are nothing but a small- time Charlie. You'd love to keep me hustling for you, huh? Wouldn't ya? I mean, a couple more years with me, scuffling around them little towns and those back alleys. You might make yourself enough to get a little poolroom back in Oakland. Six tables and a handbook on the
-Is that what you think?
-Yeah, that's what I think.
-All right. That's what I want. Poolroom with a little handbook on the side. Getting old.
-Just like that?
-No, no more for me.
-Findley.
-Glad to meet you.
-And I you. I think I've heard about you, Mr. Felson. You play pocket billiards, don't you?
-Now and then. Why, do you?
-I'll bet you do, Mr. Felson. I'll just bet you do.
-How much?
-When?
-You're very direct, Mr. Felson.
-That's right. When?
-Would you like to come out tonight?
-What time?
-You gentlemen care for a drink?
-No, none for me. Come on, let's play.
-I thought we came here to play pool.
-Beautiful shot, Felson. Beautiful. You've played billiards before, Mr. Felson. Ah, you gentlemen sure you don't care for a drink?
-Like to raise the stakes, Mr. Felson?
-There it is. I'm broke.
-Ah, that's unfortunate, Mr. Felson.
-Here. Been an interestin' evening.
-Yeah, sure has.
-Charles, will you call a cab for these gentlemen, please. I'd show you to the door, but I...
-Oh yeah, yeah. You're tired. And beat.
-Yeah. You must come again.
-Hey, uh, mister? Hey, okay if I grab a cue?
-Hey, you're Eddie Felson, aren't you?
-Who's he?
-Now, look, fella, I saw you playing at Ames the other night.
-Hey, I'll tell you what -- I'll play you jack-up pool -- just keep one hand in my pocket.
-What's the limit?
-Half and a dollar.
-Gimme ten bucks.
-Hi.
-How much you playin' for?
-A dollar on the five, two on the nine.
-Yeah, I'll play you a couple. Just for kicks.
-You quittin' too?
-You're a pretty good player.
-How much are you ahead?
-Couple of bucks.
-I guess it's just you and me, huh?
-Yeah, I guess it is, boy. Just you and me.
-You wanna raise the bet? Two on the five, five on the nine?
-You know what, kid? I think maybe you're a hustler.
-Try me.
-Shoot.
-You sure you don't want to quit, friend?
-Let's cut out the small stuff, huh? Hundred dollar freeze-out. Ten games, ten bucks a game, winner take all. And then we'll see who quits.
-Okay, friend. You're on.
-Call it.
-You better not miss, friend.
-You quittin', friend?
-Long wait for a bus?
-How long you been waiting?
-What?
-How long have you been waiting?
-Just a cup of black coffee, please... Hey, ma'am! Wait a minute! Would you, uh, like another cup?
-What time does the bus leave?
-What bus?
-Yours.
-That wouldn't give us much time, would it?
-Have a nice trip.
-Have a nice trip?
-Fair.
-Can I sit down?
-Why not? We already know each other's secrets.
-Thanks for the, uh, for the breakfast.
-Two ships that pass in the night should always buy each other breakfast.
-It's the lights. And the scotch.
-How come you didn't catch your bus?
-I wasn't waiting for a bus.
-Then why go to the bus station?
-Same reason you went: at that hour of the morning you haven't much choice. Besides, I only live three blocks from there. Where do you live?
-Around.
-I know where you live: in a locker, in a bus station. What's it like living in a locker?
-Cramped. You always drink like this, so early in the morning?
-Do you always ask so many questions?
-No, not always.
-You talk kind of funny, but I like it.
-I used to be an actress.
-Yeah? What do you do now?
-I'm a college girl. Two days a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I go to college.
-You don't look like a college girl.
-I'm the emancipated type. Real emancipated.
-No, I didn't mean that -- whatever that means. I mean, you just don't look young enough.
-I'm not.
-So why go to college?
-I've got nothing else to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
-What do you do on the other days?
-I drink.
-Hey!
-No. No more. I'm getting sleepy. Thank you very much, Mr...?
-Eddie. The name is Eddie.
-The name should be Eddie. What should my name be?
-I don't know. Whatever you like it to be.
-I like it to be what it is. It's Sarah. That's a biblical name. You want to know its meaning?
-I could always get us a bottle.
-No.
-Fifth of scotch?
-What do you want me to do, just step out in the alley? Is that it?
-Why did you do that?
-I wanted to see what kind of a day it is.
-A day like any other. People come, people go.
-What time is it?
-Eleven o'clock... I'll be back later.
-Why?
-Oh, you need a shave. You mustn't go looking like that. There's a razor and shaving cream in the bathroom. Compliments of the house.
-What did you say that for, Sarah?
-How did you know my name was Sarah?
-You told me.
-I lied. When I'm drunk I lie.
-Okay. So what's your name today?
-I got my things over at the hotel. I'll bring them over later... Come here.
-I'm not sure... I don't know.
-Where you been all day?
-At school. It's Thursday.
-You were asleep when I left. I didn't want to wake you. Did you go out?
-You know, I've been living here for almost three years. Now in three days it seems as if I know everybody. When I pass people on the street I want to stop and say, "Listen, I got a fella."
-Thanks.
-Eddie, where do you go when you go out?
-Well, I believe you when you say you go to school.
-You want to go with me?
-What, are you kidding? See that book? I've been trying to get through that book ever since I first got here. I haven't finished the first chapter. Did you read all them books?
-Mm hmm.
-You got it all in your head?
-When I'm sober. They get a little mixed up when I'm drunk. Most of the time they're mixed up.
-Oh, stop talking about yourself like you're a lush or something. I don't like it. Maybe you ought to go to a clinic, get some treatments.
-I'm hungry.
-Take your choice. I've got enough so we won't have to go out of the house till Tuesday.
-What did all this stuff cost you?
-When you've got money, you'll pay.
-No, c'mon, I wanna know. I wanna keep score.
-The bills are right here. You didn't say what you wanted.
-Don't you ever cook anything?
-Eggs. How do you like them?
-Oh, cut my finger.
-I've got something in my bag.
-Eddie, what's in that case?
-Haven't you opened it?
-No, why should I? It's yours.
-It's a machine gun. This guy told me when I came to the big city I'd have to have a machine gun, so I bought one. Where do you get the money? To pay for all this? I mean the liquor, and the groceries, and the rent?
-Do you want me to go?
-You going out?
-What are you writing?
-Give it to me.
-What's this supposed to mean?
-Give it back to me.
-You told Charlie to lay down and die. Will you say that to me too? What happens, Eddie?
-You'll find yourself another rich old lover.
-Who is it?
-What happened?
-You can read it, if you want to. You want to go out for a while? To a movie?
-You wanna drink?
-No. You?
-Sarah, do you think I'm a loser?
-A loser?
-Yeah. I met this guy -- Gordon, Bert Gordon. He said I was. Born loser.
-Would he know?
-He knows. A lot.
-Why did he tell you?
-I don't know. I'm not sure. He said there are people who want to lose, who are always looking for an excuse to lose.
-What does he do, this Bert Gordon?
-He's a gambler.
-Is he a winner?
-Well, he owns things.
-Is that what makes a winner?
-Well, what else does?
-Does it bother you? What he said?
-Yeah. Yeah. It bothers me a lot. 'Cause, you see, twice, Sarah -- once at Ames with Minnesota Fats and then again at Arthur's... ...in that cheap, crummy poolroom... Now, why'd I do it, Sarah? Why'd I do it? I coulda beat that guy, I coulda beat him cold. He never woulda known. But I just had to show 'em, I just had to
-You know, someday, Sarah, you're gonna settle down. You're gonna marry a college professor, and you're gonna write a great book. Maybe about me, huh? Fast Eddie Felson, hustler.
-I love you.
-You need the words?
-You glad?
-Sherry. Very old, very dry.
-Two. Sherry?... Nice joint. You look very pretty.
-Well, what's so funny?
-Your tie. I never saw you wear one before.
-What is it, Eddie?
-Nothin'. Want another drink?
-What do you want to tell me?
-Well, I, uh, I'll be leaving town for a little while.
-For how long?
-Oh, I don't know.
-A week? A year?
-More like a week. Look, I'll be back.
-No, I want to walk.
-Don't you want to know where I'm going?
-No. Yes, I want to know what for. But I don't want to ask.
-I'm going to Kentucky. To Louisville. With a friend. Try to make some money. I need it, the money. I'll be leaving early in the morning.
-Leave now.
-Oh, grow up.
-Why should I?
-Sarah, I'm going to Kentucky to play pool, with a guy by the name of Findley. Now, I need the action and I need the money. I told you I'd be back.
-If you were going to come back you wouldn't have taken me out tonight. You wouldn't have bought this dress. You're hustling me, Eddie. You've never stopped hustling me.
-Now, I never hustled you. Even when I thought I was. You know it.
-What do you want me to do? Just sit here and wait? Faithful little Sarah. Pull the shades down and sit. When you feel like coming back, you'll come back. And you'll love me. And then you'll go away again. Is that your idea of love?
-I got no idea of love. And neither have you. I mean, neither one of us would know what it was if we saw it coming down the street.
-I'd know it, Eddie. I'd know. For God's sakes, what are you trying to do to me? I love you.
-Well, what's your idea of love? Chains?
-Fifty-seven.
-Where's Bert?
-He went off someplace.
-Well, that old lovin' horse paid twenty-two forty. Let's see... two hundred I won from the jockey last night. And today at the track... I got five hundred and forty bucks. Here, you hold it.
-Why?
-If you don't mind I think I'll stay at the hotel.
-Well, what's the matter?
-Go on back to the hotel.
-Please, Eddie, don't beg him.
-Would you go on back to the hotel? Take a cab, go on back to the hotel.
-Doesn't all of this come through to you, Eddie? Doesn't any of this mean anything to you? That man, this place, the people. They wear masks, Eddie. And underneath the masks they're perverted, twisted, crippled.
-Don't wear a mask, Eddie. You don't have to. That's Turk, Eddie, the man who broke your thumbs. Only he's not going to break your thumbs. He'll break your heart, your guts. And for the same reason -- 'cause he hates you, 'cause of what you are. 'Cause of what you have and he hasn't.
-Now and then. You know how it is.
-You're, uh, you're Minnesota Fats, aren't you? You know, uh, they say Minnesota Fats is the best in the country out where I come from.
-Is that a fact?
-Yes sir, boy, they, heh, they say that old Fats just shoots the eyes right off them balls.
-Where do you come from?
-California. Oakland.
-California? Is your name Felson? Eddie Felson?
-That's right.
-I hear you've been looking for me.
-Yeah. That's right, too.
-Do you like to gamble, Eddie? Gamble money on pool games?
-Fats, let's you and I shoot a game of straight pool.
-Hundred dollars?
-Well, you shoot big-time pool, Fats. I mean, that's what everybody says, you shoot big-time pool. Let's make it two hundred dollars a game.
-Boy, he is great! Jeez, that old fat man. Look at the way he moves. Like a dancer.
-And them fingers, them chubby fingers. And that stroke. It's like he's, uh, like he's playing a violin or something.
-Your shot.
-You miss? Well, you don't leave much when you miss, do you, fat man?
-That's what the game's all about.
-Very good shot.
-Preach! Go down and get me some White Tavern whisky, a glass, and some ice.
-Preacher! Go on down and get me some bourbon. J. T. S. Brown. No ice, no glass.
-Fats, I got about two hundred dollars here.
-Game's over, Eddie.
-Fats, look, I got about two hundred dollars here. You can't run out on me.
-I came to play pool, Fats.
-That's good, Eddie. For how much?
-You name it.
-Thousand dollars a game.
-Let's make it three thousand dollars a game, Fats. C'mon, three thousand dollars. That's my bankroll, my life's savings. What's the matter, Fats? All you gotta do is beat me the first game and I'm on my way back to Oakland.
-Shoot pool, Fast Eddie.
-I quit, Eddie. I can't beat you. Willie, give him the stakes. You got yourself a pool player.
-...you shoot a great game of pool.
-You -- think I am -- I'm -- -- an animal.
-I can't live like you do -- all your machines and -- cold metal and sharp corners --
-You lived like this once.
-That is not now, human!
-It is not arguing to speak the truth.
-Are you all right?
-Yes.
-How much do you remember?
-Do you remember where you lived?
-It was warm. I was outside. The ocean?
-What about... now?
-With them?
-Yes.
-When you're here, in the city, where do you live?
-Who is this?
-Was this -- "beautiful?" Before?
-Do you remember where it is?
-What?
-You want to find them.
-Yes.
-Why don't you start with me?
-What choice did I have -- ?!
-You hunt us like animals -- do you know how many you have slaughtered?!
-I only protect myself -- !
-You are The Human. The Hunter. The thing that comes in the day and kills --
-What do you want?
-What do you mean?
-Will you keep feeding me? How long can you live like that? Until it kills you? Until I kill you? Without your blood I'll go back.
-We don't know that --
-Mine.
-Have you always had it?
-I don't know.
-Have you looked inside?
-Yes.
-What's inside?
-Humans.
-Who?
-That's who you are too, Emma.
-You want me to stay?
-Do you still want me to stay?
-Emma...
-He wanted me to see -- he thinks I was -- infected by you.
-Shhh... don't talk.
-You have to go. He'll never stop. Leave this place. Find another.
-Good evening. Did you have a pleasant day today?
-Busy. I went swimming and prepared a new vehicle. A big vehicle.
-That sounds charming. Did you meet any interesting people today?
-Yesterday. They're back. Haven't seen them for a few months. I have to be careful.
-Tell me about the interesting people you met, won't you?
-They are... sinister. They want to kill me.
-That sounds charming. What are you planning to do tomorrow?
-I remember the first time we met. Do you remember that?
-Yes.
-You and that damned garden.
-Yeah, but when your mother came what's the first thing you showed her?
-I surrender --
-Besides, if we get a lot of work done this summer it'll be done.
-It's never gonna be done. You love puttering out there too much.
-The more we plant, the more that'll grow, and the happier --
-Virginia...?
-Need some gas?
-Please.
-Only got one kind.
-Hell of a night.
-So, what do you do?
-I'm am architect. I'm working on a site back in --
-You built things.
-Bathroom?
-Son ... are you awake?
-We're going to be moving, son.
-Do we have to?
-I know, son. But you'll like it where we're going. I'm getting a good job. It's a pretty part of the country.
-I'll have to go to a new school -- again.
-What's that, Dad?
-Wow. Look at the mountains.
-This can be your room if you want it. What do you say?
-Is the hill ours too?
-If we want it, it is.
-Wow. There's the town. And there's the air base. This is a great hill.
-It's got a name. Copper Ridge. There used to be a copper mine near here.
-A meteorite, Dad, look!
-It's that time of year again. We should get a pretty good show out here.
-Why, Dad?
-There are more this year than last.
-This should be the heaviest shower of the year.
-... and Rigel.
-Which one's that? The dull, red one.
-Well, son? Should we call it a night? I for one have had a long day.
-Jim -- what's wrong?!
-It was big -- and it glowed -- and it went down over there -- behind the hill.
-What did it look like?
-Are you sure you saw that? In the rain -- it may have <u>looked</u> like it changed shape --
-I don't know, Dad. But it was big.
-Are you all right, Dad?
-I lost it. It's kind of muddy out there.
-I had an awful dream.
-What, Jim, what?
-... And then everything blew up. And then I woke up.
-That's a doozy of a dream, son.
-It was so real, Dad.
-I know, Ellen. We'll settle down soon.
-I was so scared.
-I have to go over to the town this morning and do a lot of shopping. This house needs just <u>everything</u>. I'll probably be gone all day. Jimmy, hurry up and eat or you'll be late.
-I'll take you to school.
-It's probably the solenoid. Take it back to Gleason's, they said they'd fix it if we found anything wrong.
-What happened to you? Who was that?
-That's Ed. Ed works with the Bell Telephone switching division.
-Where's your car?
-I left it at work.
-I'm home now.
-You know, it really is beautiful up there. Let me show you. We'll take a walk after dinner.
-What's wrong, Ellen?
-Better get some sleep, son, or you'll be pretty tired at school tomorrow.
-We'll be by to pick him up in ten minutes.
-What do you mean -- gone? What the hell kind of a nurse are you, anyway?
-What did he talk to you about?
-He was upset with moving, I believe.
-Is that all he said?
-Hello, this is Ms. Magnuson speaking.
-I understand, Miss, that you have my son in your office.
-Yes, I do, Mr. Gardner.
-May I ask why?
-We were having a little talk.
-About what?
-Children often have trouble adjusting to a new school.
-I don't know what he's told you -- What <u>has</u> he told you? Would you like to tell <u>me</u> -- ?
-Mr. Gardner, I --
-You people have a lot of nerve, taking it on yourselves to encourage young children to speak out of turn. I'm of a mind to pull him out of school if this is your idea of how to handle ... What sort of training do you have anyway?
-Mr. Gardner, I don't think this is the place to discuss this matter.
-I'm not particularly interested, <u>Ms.</u> Magnuson, in what you think is correct. My wife and I are going away on a business trip this afternoon and we want Jimmy with us. Keep him in your office until we arrive.
-This is a new town for you. Do you like it here?
-No.
-Why not? Moving is hard for anybody. Was it hard for you to leave all your friends?
-I don't have many friends. Dad's all the time moving.
-That's quite a story. You know that, don't you?
-Yes.
-How did it get Mrs. McKeltch?
-She said the frog came from around the Copper Ridge. She must've been behind the hill.
-What would you think if somebody told you a story like this?
-I'd believe him.
-Why?
-Do you know how to follow a map?
-Yes. I can even read star maps.
-Jimmy, calm down! What happened? Tell me what happened!
-I got trapped in Mrs. McKeltch's van -- and she went to the tunnel and went down there with them -- behind my house. I saw them.
-Where, Jimmy?
-Behind my house, up on the ridge.
-This is where it was -- the tunnel opening.
-I don't see anything.
-I swear it was here.
-But it's not, Jimmy.
-No.
-They'll get us.
-Does it look to you like anything landed here?
-Stay here. I'm going to make a phone call.
-Who are you calling?
-Did you call the State Police?
-No one comes here after dark.
-Damn.
-What is it?
-But you saw -- the men go under the sand ...
-Don't go in.
-I'm not. They must be tunneling under the whole town.
-We can't do this alone. We've got to get help.
-There was a man named Colonel Wilson, from the Air Force Base. He was talking in our class. He said we could visit him any time we wanted. I'll bet he could do something.
-You're looking for life?
-Well, come on, you two. Time to go to bed.
-Mom -- this is the best show all year.
-What do you think he saw? Could it have been something from the air base?
-George, where have you been?
-Your father asked you a question.
-Hi. Sorry I'm late.
-Mom. I gotta talk to you.
-What?
-When?
-This afternoon. It's wonderful up there -- you still haven't seen the best part.
-I have school.
-It's all this moving from place to place. We're never settled. I'm having nightmares myself.
-What kind, Mom?
-What's the story on Jimmy Gardner?
-Gardner? Oh, um -- he's a new student. Just moved here. Why?
-His teacher brought him in to see me. Said he'd been acting up in class. Creating a disturbance. I couldn't get a thing out of him.
-Oh?
-What's his family background?
-Ms. Magnuson, is Jimmy Gardner with you?
-Why, yes.
-Jimmy's father is on the phone. I wonder if you'd take the call.
-Penicillin. At least it will help keep his fever down.
-It's really nice of you to help us.
-I wish I could do more but we're moving out.
-We're going with you. I mean, we're going too.
-This could be our last night on Earth. I don't want to die a virgin.
-What do you want?
-You have to leave the White House.
-This is not the time or the place to have this same old discussion.
-In case you haven't noticed, we're in a little bit of a crisis here.
-I've worked with embedded loading. They're communicating with a hidden signal. They're going to attack...
-You're being paranoid.
-What?
-Connie, don't hang up.
-David? How'd you get this number?
-And when is the countdown supposed to expire?
-What do you want me to do?
-I want you to leave with us. Right now.
-I can't leave. We have to tell this to the President.
-You can't be seriously considering firing nuclear weapons?
-Just my luck, no ice.
-I take it you've heard.
-You still believe in him.
-He's a good man.
-Better be. You left me for him.
-Thirty seconds? Isn't that cutting it a little too close?
-With you? I don't understand why you can't just show someone how to plant the virus, somebody trained for this kind of mission?
-Are you all right?
-Did it work?
-David thought I was having an affair, which I wasn't.
-Moishe Martinsburg, Mr. President.
-He still gets air sick, huh? In all of this I didn't get the chance to thank you two.
-Spunky. He told you about that?
-All he could think about was getting to you. There's still love there I think.
-Love was never our problem.
-Can we expect the same kid of panic here as in Russia?
-I don't know how you put up with him.
-He used to run the NASA. He knows where all the bones are buried. Comes in handy.
-You saved a lot of lives.
-We're losing them.
-What the hell is the point of having a beeper if you don't turn it on?
-It was turned on. I was ignoring you. What's the big emergency?
-What the hell is this?
-Did you try to switch to transponder channels?
-Let's retrofit the dish to another satellite.
-There's good news and bad news.
-What's the bad news?
-You're in meal penalty for disturbing my lunch.
-And the good news is you won't charge me.
-No. The good news is I found the problem and it's not our equipment. There's some weird signal embedded within the satellite feed.
-Yes, because the analog signal has a definite sequential digital patterns embedded within it. When I find the exact binary sequence and I apply a phase reversed signal to that calculated spectra analyzer I built you last Christmas, we should be able to block out the overlay completely...
-I've got a lock on the signal pattern. We can filter it out.
-Huh? Oh, good, good.
-Strange thing is, if my calculations are right it'll be gone in approximately seven hours anyway. The signal reduces itself every time it recycles. Eventually it will disappear. Are you listening?
-Can you believe this?
-What're you talking about?
-Tell her to get the kids and leave town.
-What happened?
-Okay, why did I just send my family to Atlanta?
-Remember I told you that the signal hidden within our satellite signal is slowly recycling down to extinction.
-Not really...
-That signal. It's a countdown.
-A countdown to what?
-Then what?
-What are you waiting? My social security will expire, you'll still be sitting there.
-I'm thinking.
-You have any idea how long it takes for those things to decompose?
-David, I've been meaning to talk with you. It's nice you've been spending so much time with me, but...
-Dad, don't start.
-I'm only saying, it's been what? Four years, you still haven't signed your divorce papers.
-Three years.
-Pops!
-The television said they've started with the looting already. Vultures.
-You still got the Olds?
-You want to borrow the car? You don't have a license.
-It's the White House, for crying out loud. You can't just drive up and ring the bell.
-Can't this thing go any faster?
-You think they don't know what you know? Believe me, they know. She works for the President. They know everything.
-They don't know this.
-And you're going to educate them? Tell me something, you're so smart how come you spent eight years at M.I.T. to become a cable repairman?
-Dad...
-What the hell is that?
-This, pops, is every phone book in America.
-You think an important person like Constance is going to be listed?
-Not listed, huh?
-I just haven't found it yet. I tried C. Halbrook, Connie Halbrook, Spunky Halbrook...
-Spunky?
-College nickname.
-You try Martin?
-Perfect, she's using it.
-It's perfect the line is busy?
-Yes. I can use he signal to triangulate her exact position in the White House.
-Sure he'll listen. Why wouldn't he?
-Because last time I saw him I punched him in the face.
-You punched the President in the face?
-It's Air Force One for crying out loud. Still he gets sick?
-Dad, please...
-David, David! What the hell are you doing!?
-I'm making a mess.
-This I can see.
-We've gotta burn the rain forest, Pops. Dump toxic waste, pollute the air, rip up the ozone. Maybe if we screw this planet up enough they won't want it anymore.
-Pops, you're a genius!
-What'd I say?
-Thanks, Pops.
-I'll see how they're doing with the radio transmitter.
-Oh shit, we're late.
-I have a confession to make. I'm not real big on flying.
-What the hell are you doing?
-Must be thousands of them. What are they doing?
-Get us out of here!
-What're you doing?
-Nice meeting you.
-We're loose!
-Doesn't matter. Game's over.
-With your permission, Mr. President, I'd like to remain my your side.
-I had a feeling you would.
-Sir, what happens if they do become hostile?
-General Grey, co-ordinate with Atlantic Command. Tell them they have twenty five minutes to get as many people out of the cities as they can.
-But Mr. President...
-Is my wife in the air?
-Any news on my wife?
-Where are they?
-Atlanta, Chicago and Philadelphia, destroyed?
-And our forces?
-We're down to approximately fifteen percent, Sir. If you calculate the time it takes them to destroy a city and move on, we're looking at world wide destruction of every major city within the next thirty six hours.
-Organize every plane you can find and get some Goddamned pilots to fly them.
-How're we doing?
-We have confirmed divisions of troops from different armies all around the world. Most of Europe, the Middle East and Asia are battle ready.
-And our troops here?
-We've been collecting planes from all over but...
-But what, General?
-Pilots, sir. We don't have enough people to get them in the air.
-Mr. President, just what do you think you're doing?
-Grey, you read me?
-Where's it headed?
-Do not engage until we've confirmed the package has been delivered.
-Get on the horn with Atlantic Command. Let's upgrade the situation to DEFCON 3.
-Organize a military escort to Crystal Mountain.
-More ships keep arriving, fifteen in total so far.
-This is crazy. We're loosing our first strike capabilities!
-That's impossible...
-My God, the Vice President and the Joint Chiefs...
-You were the head of the National Intelligence Agency! You knew all about this. When were you planning on informing the rest of us!?
-It had been deemed classified.
-This is ridiculous.
-With their shields down it might be possible.
-A meteor?
-No Sir. Definitely not.
-How do you know?
-Well, er... it's slowing down.
-It's doing what?
-He's trying to impress you.
-You can't go. Call them back.
-Baby, you know how it is. I have to report to El Toro right away.
-You said you were on leave for the Fourth.
-Wait. I have to tell you something.
-What?
-Be careful.
-Look, after your shift tonight, why don't you grab Dylan and come stay with me on base.
-Really? You don't mind?
-You know, you're not as charming as you think you are.
-Yes, I am.
-Dick-weed!
-You're late.
-You're late.
-You know me...
-Before we do this, I want you to know I'm sorry.
-Sorry for what?
-You scared the hell out of me.
-Yeah, but what an entrance!
-Dick-weed.
-Your son.
-He's my angel.
-Was his father stationed here?
-So, what do you do for a living?
-I'm a dancer.
-Really? Ballet?
-No. Exotic.
-Oh. Sorry.
-And when the dancing's over? What about your future?
-Dylan, come here. I want you to meet the First Lady.
-I thought you didn't recognize me.
-I don't believe it. They make you learn how to fly everything from an Apache to a Harrier and still they turn you down? What else do they want you to learn?
-Jasmine has this thing for dolphins. I had them make it...
-That is an affirmative. I have victory dance. Mmmmmmm.
-Don't get premature on me, Jimmy. We don't light up 'til the Fat Lady sings.
-I shouldn't have left her.
-Damn it!
-I didn't even see them fire!
-Jimmy, kick it! They're gaining.
-We're already over Mach 2!
-Stevie... I can't...
-Stop it.
-It's all fuzzy.
-I don't need it.
-He's got that SEGA Saturn CD, 64 bit, right?
-Yeah. What would you think if we went there to live for a while?
-But I gave you some this morning.
-Just what the hell do you think you're doing?
-I'm bringing home the bacon. Earning my keep. And doing a fine job if I do say so myself.
-It's the wrong field, you idiot! Lucas' farm is on the other side of town.
-You sure?
-They let you out?
-We're leaving, don't try and stop us.
-Troy's still my son no matter how you feel about me.
-I couldn't find anything. Everyone is packing up, they're leaving. Word is a space ship is heading this way.
-We should leave too.
-How' he doing?
-I'm not leaving.
-We must maintain a working government in a time of crisis...
-I want the Vice President, Secretary of Defense, the whole Cabinet and the Joint Chiefs taken to a secured location. I'm staying here. I am not going to add to a public hysteria that could cost lives.
-But, Mr. President...
-What the hell's going on?
-I spoke with the Joint Chief when they arrived at NORAD. They agree, we must launch a counter offensive with a full nuclear strike. Hit 'em with everything we've got.
-Above American soil?
-Why the hell wasn't I told about this place?
-Mr. President?
-Call them back.
-The other bombers might have more luck. We shouldn't just give up...
-Mr. President, a real pleasure. They don't let us out much, you know.
-Yes.
-See, we can't duplicate their type of power so we've never been able to experiment. But since these guys started showing up, all the gizmos inside turned on. The last twenty four hours have been really exciting!
-What can you tell us about the enemy we're facing?
-Can they be killed?
-Why did you people come here?
-Air... water... your "sun."
-Where do your people come from? Where is your home?
-Here... now.
-And before here?
-Many worlds...
-Can we negotiate a truce? Is there room for co-existance? Can there be peace between us?
-Peace? No peace.
-What do you want us to do?
-Oh, Sallah! What a relief!
-Marcus Brody, sir. And where is Indy?
-Oh, he's in Austria. A slight detour.
-Yes, but don't panic. Everything's under control. Have you... have you arranged our supplies?
-Oh, yes, of course. But where are we going?
-Oh, what?... your servant, sir.
-My reputation precedes me.
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Egyptian Mail. Morning edition. Run!
-May we go home now, please?
-Marcus! I did it!
-You know how long I've been looking for that?!
-All your life.
-All my life!
-Your treat.
-What has the old fool got himself into now?
-Dad?
-Venice, Italy!
-It's Dad's Grail Diary. Every clue he ever followed. Every discovery he made. A complete record of his search for the Holy Grail. This is his whole life. Why would he have sent this to me?
-I don't know. But someone must want it pretty badly.
-Do you believe the Grail actually exists?
-But if you want facts, Indy, I have none to give you. At my age, I'm prepared to take a few things on faith.
-Call Donovan, Marcus. Tell him I'll take that ticket to Venice now.
-Ah, Venice...
-Yes. Uh, how will we recognize this Doctor Schneider when we see him?
-That doesn't look much like a library.
-Marcus -- I've seen this window before.
-Look, Indy. The Roman numerals!
-Dad was onto something here!
-How's the head?
-The present city of Iskenderun is built on its ruins. Marcus -- you remember what the Grail Tablet said. "Across the desert and through the mountain to the Canyon of the Crescent Moon." But where exactly?
-Now, he knew there was a city with an oasis due east. Here. He knew the course turned south through the desert to a river, and the river led into the mountains. Here. Straight to the canyon. He knew everything except where to begin, the name of the city.
-Alexandretta. Now we know.
-Yes. Now we know.
-What about you?
-Indy... Indy, you must hurry!! Come quickly!
-Marcus!
-Henry! What are you doing here?!
-Henry, the pen --
-What?
-Look what you did!
-The Word of God...
-No, Henry. Try not to talk.
-Indy! Henry! Follow met I know the way! Haaa!
-Tell me, what's going to happen when we get to Venice?
-Don't worry. Doctor Schneider will be there to meet you.
-Schneider?
-I maintain an apartment in Venice, at your disposal.
-Care to wet your whistle, Marcus?
-Well, Marcus, we are on the brink of the recovery of the greatest artifact in the history of mankind.
-Are you expected?
-Don't take that tone with me, my good man. Now buttle off and tell Baron Brunwald that Lord Clarence MacDonald and his lovely assistant are here to view the tapestries.
-Tapestries?
-Dear me, the man is dense. This is a castle, isn't it? There are tapestries?
-This is a castle. And we have many tapestries. But if you're a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse.
-My name is Donovan. Walter Donovan.
-I know who you are Mr. Donovan. Your contributions to the museum over the years have been extremely generous. Some of the pieces in your collection here are very impressive.
-Well, it's sandstone. Christian symbol. Early Latin text. Mid-Twelfth Century, I should think.
-That was our assessment as well.
-Where did this come from?
-"Where the cup that holds the blood of Jesus Christ resides forever."
-The Arthur Legend. I've heard this bedtime story before.
-Eternal life, Doctor Jones! The gift of youth to whoever drinks from the Grail. Oh, now that's a bedtime story I'd like to wake up to!
-An old man's dream.
-Hard to resist, isn't it? The Holy Grail's final resting place described in detail!
-What good is it? This Grail Tablet speaks of deserts and mountains and canyons. Pretty vague. Where do you start looking? Maybe if the Tablet were intact, you'd have something to go on. But the entire top portion is missing.
-Let me tell you another "bedtime story," Doctor Jones. After the Grail was entrusted to Joseph of Arimathaea, it disappeared and was lost for a thousand years before it was found again by three Knights of the First Crusade. Three brothers, to be exact.
-I've heard this one as well. Two of these brothers walked out of the desert one hundred and fifty years after having found the Grail and began the long journey back to France. But only one of them made it. And before dying of extreme old age, he supposedly imparted his tale to a -- to a Franciscan friar, I think.
-This is the manuscript in which the friar chronicled the Knight's story... it doesn't reveal on location of the Grail, I'm afraid... but the Knight promised that two "markers" that had been left behind would. This Tablet is one of those "markers." It proves the Knight's story is true. But as you pointed out -- it's incomplete. Now, the second "marker" is entombed with
-That's usually when the ground falls out from underneath your feet.
-You could be more right than you know.
-Yes?
-We've hit a snag. Our project leader has vanished. Along with all his research. Uh, we received a cable from his colleague, Doctor Schneider, who has no idea of his whereabouts or what's become of him. I want you to pick up the trail where he left off. Find the man and you will find the Grail.
-You've got the wrong Jones, Mister Donovan. Why don't you try my father?
-DONOVAN!
-Impossible? What do you say, Jones? Ready to go down in history?
-As what? A Nazi stooge like you?
-Nazis?! -- Is that the limit of your vision?! The Nazis want to write themselves into the Grail legend and take on the world. Well, they're welcome. But I want the Grail itself. The cup that gives everlasting life. Hitler can have the world, but he can't take it with him. I'm going to be drinking my own health when he's gone the way
-Shooting me won't get you anywhere.
-I'm through!
-Doctor Jones?
-Yes?
-And my mother's ears. But the rest belongs to you.
-The last time I saw your father we were in the library. He was very close to tracking down the Knight's Tomb. I've never seen him so excited. He was as giddy as a schoolboy.
-Fraulein -- will you permit me?
-I usually don't.
-I usually don't either.
-It would make me very happy.
-But I'm already sad -- by tomorrow it will have faded.
-My dad sent me this Diary for a reason. Until we find out why, I suggest we keep it to ourselves.
-Bingo.
-You don't disappoint, Doctor Jones. You're a great deal like your father.
-Except he's lost, and I'm not.
-Pagan symbols. Fourth or Fifth Century.
-Right. Six hundred years before the Crusades.
-The Ark of the Covenant.
-Are you sure?
-It must be one of these...
-What's that?
-Wouldn't it be wonderful if he were here now to see this?
-Don't wander off.
-I said go around!
-You said go between them!
-My room!
-Mine, too.
-This.
-The Grail Diary.
-Uh-huh.
-At least I let you tag along.
-Oh, yes. Give them a flower and they'll follow you anywhere.
-Knock it off. You're not mad.
-No?
-No. You like the way I do things.
-What do you know about this place?
-What are you going to do?
-This one. I think he's in here.
-This book contained a map -- a map with no names -- precise directions from the unknown city to the secret Canyon of the Crescent Moon.
-How did you get here?
-You came back for the book? Why?
-Is that what you think of me? I believe in the Grail, not the Swastika.
-Yet you stood up to be counted with the enemy of everything the Grail stands for -- who gives a damn what you think?
-All I have to do is squeeze.
-I never expected to see you again.
-Elsa! Elsa, don't move!
-It's ours, Indy. Yours and mine.
-Elsa. Elsa don't. Elsa. Elsa. Give me your other hand, honey. I can't hold you.
-Dad!
-Out!
-It's important!
-Then wait -- count to twenty.
-No, Dad. You listen to me --
-It is you Junior!
-Don't call me that, please.
-But what are you doing here?
-Oh, it breaks the heart.
-And the head. You hit me, Dad!
-I'll never forgive myself --
-Don't worry -- I'm fine.
-No! Dad, get your stuff. We've got to get out of here.
-Well, I am sorry about your head, though. But I thought you were one of them.
-Dad, they come in through the doors.
-Humpf -- so I was wrong this time. But by God, I wasn't wrong when I mailed you my Diary. You obviously got it.
-I got it and I used it. We found the entrance to the catacombs.
-Through the library?
-Right.
-Found it.
-He was actually there? You saw him?
-Well, what was left of him.
-And his shield... the inscription on Sir Richard's shield...?
-Alexandretta. It's a great moment in Henry's life. He turns aside, lost to himself for a moment, then turns to Indy with joy.
-...you did it.
-No, Dad. You did. Forty years.
-If only I could have been with you.
-There were rats, Dad.
-Rats?
-Yeah, big ones. What do the Nazis want with you Dad?
-They want my diary.
-You didn't, did you? You didn't bring it, did you?
-Well, uh...
-You did!!
-Look, can we discuss this later?
-I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers.
-Will you take it easy!
-Take it easy?! Why do you think I sent it home in the first place? So it wouldn't fall into their hands!!
-I came here to save you.
-No! Don't Shoot!
-She ransacked her own room and I fell for it. How did you know she was a Nazi?
-Umh?
-How did you she was a Nazi?
-Ooooh... I like the Austrian way better.
-So did I.
-Let's try and get these ropes loose. We've got to get to Marcus before the Nazis do!
-You said he had two days' start. That he would blend in. Disappear!
-What am I looking for?
-My lucky charm.
-Feels like a cigarette lighter.
-I ought to tell you something.
-Don't get sentimental now Dad -- save it 'til we get out of here.
-The floor's on fire! See?!
-What???
-And the chair.
-Dad!
-What?
-Dad!
-What?
-What?
-Head for the fireplace!
-This is intolerable!
-Dad!
-Come on, Dad. Come on!
-Stop!
-What?
-You're going the wrong Way! We have to get to Berlin!
-Brody's this way.
-My Diary's in Berlin.
-You don't need the Diary, Dad. Marcus has the map.
-There is more in the Diary than just the map.
-All right Dad -- tell me.
-Well, he who finds the Grail must face the final challenge.
-What final challenge?
-Three devices of such lethal cunning.
-Booby traps?
-Oh, yes. But I found the clues that will safely take us through, in the Chronicles of St. Anselm.
-But what are they? Can't you remember?
-I wrote them down in my Diary so that I wouldn't have to remember.
-Half the German Army's on our tail and you want me to go to Berlin? Into the lion's den?
-Yes! The only thing that matters is the Grail.
-What about Marcus?
-Marcus would agree with me.
-That's for blasphemy. The quest for the Grail is not archaeology. It's a race against evil. If it is captured by the Nazis, the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the earth. Do you understand me?
-This is an obsession Dad. I never understood it. Never. Neither did Mom.
-What did you get?
-I don't know. The first available flight out of Germany.
-When we're airborne, with Germany behind us, then I'll share that sentiment.
-You know, sharing your adventures is an interesting experience.
-That's not all we shared. It's disgraceful. You're old enough to be her fa... er, her grandfather!
-Well, I'm as human as the next man.
-I was the next man.
-Do you remember the last time we had a quiet drink? I had a milk shake.
-Hmmm... What did we talk about?
-We didn't talk. We never talked.
-And do I detect a rebuke?
-A regret. It was just the two of us, Dad. It was a lonely way to grow up. For you, too. If you had been an ordinary, average father like the other guys' dads, you'd have understood that.
-Actually, I was a wonderful father.
-Did I ever tell you to eat up? Go to bed? Wash your ears? Do your homework? No. I respected your privacy and I taught you self-reliance.
-What you taught me was that I was less important to you than people who had been dead for five hundred years in another country. And I learned it so well that we've hardly spoken for twenty years.
-You left just when you were becoming interesting.
-Dad, how can you?
-Well... I can't think of anything.
-Then what are you complaining about? Look, we have work to do. When we get to Alexandretta we will face three challenges. "First, the breath of God. Only the penitent man will pass. Second, the Word of God, only in the footsteps of God will he proceed. Third, the Path of God, only in the leap from the lion's head will he prove his
-What does that mean?
-I didn't know you could fly a plane.
-Dad -- eleven o'clock!!
-Dad, are we hit?!
-Nice landing.
-Those people are trying to kill us!
-I know, Dad!
-It's a new experience for me.
-This is intolerable!
-What do you think you're doing?! Get down!
-Now, who are all these people?
-Dad?
-You call this archaeology?
-Dad?!
-"Only the penitent man will pass. Only the penitent man will pass."
-The penitent man will pass. The penitent... the penitent. The penitent man...
-The penitent man is humble before God.
-Penitent. Penitent...
-But in the Latin alphabet, "Jehovah" begins with an "I".
-Junior, give me your other hand! I can't hold on!!
-Elsa never really believed in the Grail. She thought she'd found a prize.
-What did you find, Dad?
-What did you find, Junior?
-I like Indiana.
-Ready?
-Uh-huh.
-After you, Junior.
-I knew you'd come, but my strength has left me.
-Who are you?
-The last of three brothers who swore an oath to find the Grail and to guard it.
-That was seven hundred years ago.
-You're strangely dressed... for a knight.
-I'm not exactly... a knight. What do you mean?
-Get that camel out of the way!
-What happened to Marcus, Sallah?
-That car belonged to my brother-in- law.
-I'm going after those horses.
-I'll take the camels.
-I don't need camels.
-But, Indy --
-Sallah, I said no camels! That's five camels. Can't you Count?
-Compensation for my brother-in-law's car. Indy, your father and Brody --
-Where's my father?
-Why are you trying to kill us?
-Because you're looking for the Holy Grail.
-My father was looking for the Holy Grail. Did you kill him too?
-No.
-Where is he? Talk -- or you're dead. Damn it, tell me! Tell me!
-If you don't let go, Doctor Jones, we'll both die.
-Then we'll die.
-This is your last chance.
-All right! Where's my father
-If you let me go, I will tell you where he is.
-Who are you?
-My name is Kazim.
-And why were you trying to kill me?
-Ask yourself, why do you seek the Cup of Christ? Is it for His glory, or for yours?
-I didn't come for the Cup of Christ. I came to find my father.
-Captain Blumburtt and his troops are here to check up on the "natives".
-Just a routine inspection tour.
-Dr. Jones, you know very well that the Thuggee cult has been dead for nearly a century.
-Well, Mr. Prime Minister, my report will duly note that we found nothing unusual here in Pankot.
-I'm sure that will please the Maharajah, Captain.
-Interested in local curios?
-Charming.
-It's like the voodoo dolls of West Africa. The kryta represents your enemy -- and gives you complete power over him.
-Thank God all that mumbo jumbo rubbish is disappearing.
-You think so?
-You're hanging on better here than you did in America.
-The Prime Minister doesn't seem that naive.
-I'm sure it's nothing. Just rumors. What was it they claimed was stolen?
-Rather bizarre menu, wouldn't you say?
-I've spent by life crawling around in caves and tunnels -- I shouldn't have let somebody like Willie go in there with me.
-Miss Scott panicked?
-Then she must have run out of the room and you found her.
-I believe we're being called to dinner.
-Jones isn't in his room. Miss Scott -- my troops are leaving at dawn if you want us to escort you to Delhi --
-No -- you can't go! Something awful's happened. They've got Short Round and I think Indy's been --
-What?
-Who?
-Hard to believe, isn't it...?
-The plane crash and your journey here sound -- most incredible.
-He's not exactly what we call "a spring chicken".
-No, no, that is Uhmed Singh, the present Maharajah's late father.
-They will escort you to your rooms now. You will be provided with fresh clothes. Tonight you will be dining with His Highness.
-Listen, Mr. Lal, what do you call the Maharajah's wife?
-His Highness has not yet taken a wife.
-Miss Scott, you're not making any sense.
-I sense the fumes of opium in all this. Perhaps Miss Scott picked up the habit in Shanghai.
-I would say you look rather lost. But then I cannot imagine where in the world the three of you would look at home...
-Lost? No, we're not lost. We're on our way to Delhi. This is Miss Scott -- and Mr. Round. My name's Indiana Jones.
-We'd appreciate it if the Maharajah would let us stay tonight. We'll be on out way in the morning.
-I had a question, Mr. Prime Minister. I was examining some of the Maharajah's artifacts.
-A very fine collection of very old pieces, don't you think?
-I suppose stories of the Thuggees die hard.
-There are no stories anymore.
-Their stories are just fear and folklore.
-You know the villagers also claimed that this palace stole something from them.
-Dr. Jones, in our country a guest does not usually insult his host.
-There, you see, Captain. A rock!
-When they lost this rock their fields and animals died. They also said their children were taken from them.
-I was dubious myself at first. Then something connected -- the village's rock and the old legend of the Sankara Stones...
-Dr. Jones, we are all vulnerable to vicious rumors. I seem to remember that in Honduras you were accused of being a grave robber rather than a scientist.
-The newspapers exaggerated the incident.
-And didn't the Sultan of Madagascar threaten to cut your head off if you ever returned to his country?
-That was a misunderstanding.
-Mola Ram is telling the faithful of out victory. He says the British have left the palace, which proves Kali Ma's new power.
-You understand what he tells us?
-Dr. Jones.
-Lao She.
-You never told me you spoke my language, Dr. Jones.
-So, it is true, Dr. Jones? You found Nurhachi?
-You have insulted my son.
-Next time I'll cut off more than his finger.
-What's that?
-Now what about the antidote, Lao.
-Wow! Holy smoke! Crash landing!
-Step on it, Short Round!
-You got the tickets, Short Round?
-Indy?
-Indy, they make our plane crash? To get you here?
-I ride with you, Indy?
-Indy, look!
-What you look at, Indy?
-That little Maharajah think he big stuff.
-You don't like him do you?
-Next time I flatten him! Did you see his eyes?
-No.
-He was afraid of you. He knows a tough guy when he sees one.
-Get to sleep Indy -- I stay up and keep eye on things...
-What does it mean, Indy?
-The village knew their rock was magic -- but they didn't know it was one of the lost Sankara Stones...
-Why they glow like that?
-This is Nainsukh -- from the village. They bring him here to dig in the mines.
-Come one, what's wrong?
-Slow on the curves or we'll fly off the tracks!
-Let up on the brake!
-You were caught trying to steal the Sankara Stones.
-There were five stones in the beginning. Over the centuries they were dispersed by wars, sold off by thieves like you...
-Two are still missing.
-No. They are here -- somewhere. A century ago when the British raided this temple and butchered my people, a loyal priest hid the last two stones down here in the catacombs.
-That's what you've got these children -- these slaves digging for?
-They dig for the gems to support our cause. They also search for the last two stones. Soon we will have all five Sankara Stones and the Thuggees will be all powerful!
-Nobody can say you don't have a vivid imagination.
-That's far enough!
-Give me the stones!
-No, the stones are mine!
-On the way to Delhi, you will stop at Pankot.
-Pankot isn't on the way to Delhi.
-You will go to palace there.
-Hasn't the Pankot palace been deserted since the Mutiny of 1857?
-It is Pankot Palace that kills my village.
-I don't understand. What's happened here?
-The evil starts in Pankot. Then like monsoon, it moves darkness over all country.
-What evil?
-It is why Krishna brought you here.
-Nobody brought us here. Our plane crashed. We were shot down by --
-Was the stone very smooth? It was probably brought here from a sacred river.
-Long ago -- before my father's father.
-But why would the Maharajah take this sacred stone?
-You will find them when you find sivlalinga.
-I like the service here.
-Hey, he's not a waiter...
-Look out, damn it, I need that antidote!
-For crying out loud, a kid's driving the car?!
-Listen, we just met for crissake! I'm not that kind of girl!
-You don't look very good.
-What're we going to do?! Where're we going?!
-I'll take the extra ticket. Where's this plane going anyway?
-Siam.
-So, what're you supposed to be, a lion tamer?
-I'm freezing. What do you mean, tag along? From the minute you walked into that nightclub, you haven't been able to keep your eyes off me.
-Are you crazy, a lift raft?! We're not sinking, we're crashing!
-You all right?
-India...
-What'd he say?
-He told me they knew I was coming here.
-What do you mean -- how?
-The old man saw it in a dream.
-Dream -- nightmare is more like it.
-God, I am starving, but I can't eat this...
-Took what?
-And then they took their children.
-What'd he say now?
-Hey, Willie -- I think you better get out now.
-Stark naked? You wish... If you're trying to seduce me, Dr. Jones, this is a very primitive approach.
-Me seduce you? Honey, you're the one who took your clothes off. I just came over to remind you that you never know what else might be in the water.
-Indy! Help me!
-Don't worry, I'm coming in! What is it?
-A what...?
-Hurry, help me out of here! What're you waiting for?!
-Uh, listen -- Willie -- I got a better idea.
-What?!
-Don't let it pull you deeper!
-It's pulling me deeper!
-Don't let it curl around you!
-Listen, Willie. Do exactly what I tell you now.
-What?!
-Can you move your arm?
-Just one arm!
-Okay, I want you to lift your hand -- and pet the snake.
-PET IT??!!
-Yes, stroke it right along the maxillary and precaudal vertebrae.
-THE WHAT?!
-Oh -- my -- god -- it's going to crush me!
-What's happening?
-It's starting to let go!
-Thanks for nothing! I hate snakes!
-Where'd you find your little bodyguard?
-Shorty's family was killed when they bombed Shanghai. He was living on the streets.
-By the way, how'd you end up in Shanghai?
-What about the future?
-I'd like to find one of those myself.
-Oh really?
-Yeah, but he's got to be dead and buried for a couple of thousand years. Fortune and glory...
-Is that what you're hoping to find at this palace, Dr. Jones?
-The drawing shows a priest named Sankara who lived centuries ago.
-What does the writing say?
-It's Sanskrit. It tells the story of Sankara climbing Mt. Kalisa where he met the Hindu god Shiva.
-That's Shiva? What's he giving the Priest?
-Legend says he told Sankara to go forth and combat evil. To do that he gave him five sacred stones that had magical powers.
-I think you should sleep closer. I meant for safety.
-Couldn't keep away, huh?
-He's afraid of something.
-He said he couldn't take us any farther. He has to go sell the elephants.
-Any more complaints?
-I've always had a weakness for folk dancing.
-That's the Maharajah -- that kid?!
-Cheer up, you lost your prince, but dinner's on the way.
-Not leftovers?
-You're nice. Listen, I'm taking applications -- how'd you like to be my palace slave?
-Yeah -- and nothing else. That shock you?
-Primitive sexual practices?
-You're dying to come into my room, aren't you?
-You want me so bad, why don't you invite me?
-Too proud to admit you're crazy about me, Dr. Jones?
-We'll see who gives in first -- I'll leave my door open.
-Don't catch cold.
-Five minutes... you'll be back over here in five minutes...
-No -- don't you see -- crawling --
-Get -- the -- bug -- off!
-Oh no -- oh no!!
-You know, Willie, I'll bet he's mad because they were eating his friends for dinner.
-What?!
-WILLIE?!
-There's bugs! Bugs all over! Help! Help me!
-GET US OUT! Willie, shut up and listen! There's got to be a fulcrum release! Look around!
-A fulcrum release lever!
-There's a hole! I found a square hole!
-That's it -- the release lever -- look inside!
-Oh God, it's soft -- it's moving!
-What is it...?
-Oh my God! He ripped out his -- he killed him!
-Let's go! Let's get out of here!
-Wait -- what're you doing?
-I'm going down.
-Down? Down there?! Are you crazy!
-I'm not leaving without those stones.
-You're gonna get killed chasing after your damn fortune and glory!
-It's okay. You're all right now.
-What?
-You've got to go to sleep now.
-I want to go home...
-Indy? Did you talk to them?
-Yes.
-So now they believe me.
-I was scared to death last night when I thought they were going to kill you.
-No... they won't kill me.
-What're we going to do?!
-I can't!
-Let her go! Our only chance is outrunning them!
-Anymore ideas...?
-I guess Mola Ram got what he wanted.
-The last Sankara Stone.
-And they don't even know what it really is.
-Well, you didn't get your prince, and there goes your diamond.
-You didn't do so well yourself. Finding that stone could've gotten you all the fortune and glory you were talking about.
-I get it!
-This is the first time anybody ever cried when I left.
-They don't cry about you. They cry about the elephants leaving.
-Figures...
-Give me your hat...
-What for?
-I don't appreciate being cooked like a french fry!
-I said something.
-No, not her. Me.
-My name is AL.
-Where are you,...Al?
-You're not gonna believe this...
-Try me.
-I'm reporting you to the .....transit authority!!!
-...reporting....him... ventriloquism...On a bus
-Don't do that.
-Arrrgh!
-It wasn't him.
-Who was it?
-Me.
-Who?
-Al.
-Yes?
-You're in my head...
-Yes.
-Your name is Al...
-Yes.
-No...no...it's nothing.. Rehearsing a play... What light through yonder window breaks...It is Al... and he's in my head.
-What is your name?
-You're in my head? You don't know my name?
-I just got here.
-What??? You lose your lease on a condo?
-Where are we?
-Where are we? We're on the street. We're walking down the street. We're talking to ourselves. People are staring at us.
-What street?
-What street?! We're walking down QUEER STREET. We coming to Dopey Drive. We're about to be put somewhere quiet where they won't mind that we talk to ourselves.
-Why don't we go home?
-Go home. Good idea. Get some rest.
-...I need to make a phone call.
-Do me a favor, Al.
-Yeah?
-Somebody's been here.
-Where are we now?
-My place, can't you see?
-No.
-You're in my head, you can talk to me and hear what I say, but you can't see anything.
-Right.
-Kind of an oversight, wouldn't you say.
-I'm working on it. Soon as I find the right nerve bundle.
-Who are you?
-Who am I?
-Yeah...Who?
-Quit screwing around, this is important.
-It's my head, I'll be the judge of that. Anyway, who are you?
-I told you, my name is Al.
-You've heard of the PEM114...
-Are you threatening me?
-Look! I didn't ask to be in you. Don't blame me for it. You did it.
-Me? What'd I do?
-Yeah. What did you do? You explain it. ...why I'm not at the lab right now, in my tube, with my crew. Explain that!
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-The Nicholson Node. I suppose you haven't heard of that either.
-No.
-You've heard of U.S.T.?
-I just went there for a job.
-I know...it sounds insane.
-What are you doing?
-Loading a gun.
-What for?
-Kill myself.
-Are you crazy?
-Yep.
-Don't do it. Don't aim at the head.
-Used to be, things were bad. No job...no money...no girl. Now I got all that and I'm crazy too.
-You're not crazy.
-Hear voices don't I.
-Of course you do!
-You're not crazy. Don't...wait a minute, just let me explain.
-You're gonna explain.
-Yeah JOE Why there's a little man in my head?
-Yeah.
-Why he's argumentative?
-You'll be alive.
-With a man in my head...
-What was that?
-You weren't listening!
-Sorry...all this...buzzing in my head. Why don't I just take you back to UST?
-No they won't.
-Why not?
-I'll talk to them.
-Oh...Gooood!
-I'll tell you what to say.
-If I get you back to the lab, will you get out of my head?
-Anyone there?
-Behind us?
-What's that?
-What'd he look like?
-What do I do?
-Outrun them.
-Now what?
-I wouldn't say that.
-Get your breathing down. You sound like a cement mixer.
-I want out.
-Too late...They want you.
-Why? AL You know too much.
-I don't know anything. I just want to go home.
-Calm Down! Act rational.
-I don't know...To get Al.
-Did you hear that?
-It can't take that long.
-JOE Or what?
-They could put you back in the tube..
-I'd be helpless and useless. They don't have the PEM. Without that...there's no chance.
-Well...they sure as hell aren't gonna get it for you.
-They're busy covering their asses. They're not the type of people we need."
-Yeah...Who is?
-I am. You are.
-You are CRAZY!
-You're the one talking to a little guy in your head. ...We'll have to do it on our own.
-What do you mean we.
-You gotta help.
-I did. I brought you back here.
-We're a team...My...talent. Your... mobility.
-Thanks.
-Think of the scientific data we'll gain. Come on, lets get out of here.
-Ever think of what they might have to do to find me?
-Find You?
-They'll have to take you apart. ...piece by piece.
-Sue them.
-I don't like the sound of that.
-We have to get out of here.
-Door's locked.
-Now what.
-Go out, take your first left.
-Just walk down the hall?
-Which way do I go?
-What does it say.
-Corridor A.
-Take a left and your next right.
-A lab and equipment.
-Is it familiar? Have you been here before.
-I was thirsty. He told me to get a drink.
-Who did?
-Oh my God...What did he look like, the man?
-Like the guys that attacked us.
-What do you mean?
-Black suits and helmets.
-That's it. They know I'm in here. We've got to find them.
-That's not a good idea.
-They think we're safe here. They don't really need us. They're probably long gone.
-Gone where?
-You need ID in there?
-You do. To get out of here. You're gonna be me.
-I don't wanna be you. I wanna go home.
-Anything...A feeling...a smell..?
-Wait a minute. The fight. Where did he get you?
-Just scratched my arm, why?
-I'll be out of touch for a while. Just get to the airport.
-I'm back.
-I'm at the airport.
-Who is it?
-Don't talk, I told you. You just screwed it up.
-What am I supposed to do?
-What is it?
-What do we do?
-Send a man there. A secret agent.
-Who?... Wait a minute! I'm no agent, secret or otherwise. And..I'm alone.
-You mean...just leave.
-We get on a plane.
-What about money?
-What about it?
-I don't have any.
-Use my credit cards.
-I can't do that.
-Why not?
-It's illegal.
-Who cares?
-I'll get in trouble.
-...and a license to kill...
-They'll know who I am.
-It's just not enough.
-It's attitude...how you carry yourself.
-What's wrong with how I carry myself.
-Nothing, but it's yours. Change it. Change your whole persona.
-Oh yeah, to what?
-You'll be me.
-I don't want to be you. I don't even like you, why would I want to be you?
-Because you got my ID. Now brace yourself. I'm gonna try something with your glands.
-Now what?
-The beach.
-The beach?
-How else do you get seaweed under your nails?
-Eating sushi?
-Holy shit!
-What is it?
-Do you notice anything.
-The sky, the sun, the sea... There's no one here. It's deserted. What now?
-Swim.
-Take it easy, now. Don't want you in over your head.
-Here...all the seaweed you want. Now, what?
-You eat it.
-You eat it. You know what this stuff tastes like?
-Now what?
-The sand.
-Eat it?
-Eat it.
-I don't want to eat it.
-Why not?
-It's sand.
-Now lie down somewhere quiet and rest, I'll be back in a while.
-Al, are you doing anything in there?
-What? What do you mean?
-Beautiful!
-What was?
-This must be business, there's nothing else here.
-She's...pretty fast.
-What is it?
-You're beautiful..
-What's happening?
-She doesn't seem to understand.
-Try another language.
-Which language?
-Help me out, will you?
-What do I do?
-Don't just stand there, say something.
-What?
-.
-Wait.
-Where is she staying?
-Touch her.
-What?
-...Joe.
-What happened?
-Where are you going?
-To the hotel. To register.
-Without your pants.
-Good thing I'm here to do the thinking.
-Yeah. Some help. That poetry really killed her.
-It worked.
-I made it work.
-You stumbled around. Remember, you've got my ID, you've got to be me, not some stumblebum.
-Rene...
-I'm not some hot shot test pilot. I'm not some playboy. I don't usually pick up girls.
-Well you did it today.
-Yeah. I did it.
-Now, where would I be?
-But what's it look like?
-What's nothing look like? ...it looks like nothing.
-What is it?
-You really like that shirt?
-Much too blue.
-Mind your own business.
-It is my business. It's my name.
-Not that tie with that coat.
-What did that cost?
-You want sophistication, it don't come cheap.
-Which one is she?
-They both look good to me.
-Get close to them.
-You're not just after this girl, are you?
-You got a better idea, you tell me. Other than her, there's no one here I know.
-Pan the group, will you. If you're right, at least one of them...is involved.
-Who are they? Stay on them, will you. How can we find out...Wait. The glasses.
-What glasses.
-Follow that busboy.
-I feel like an idiot.
-Which one?
-The blond...GRUNER. A killer.
-Just don't show fear.
-I don't know what's going on.
-He recognises you, throw him off.
-My coast is Maine, actually. We have a place in Bar Harbor...And a bar in Sutton Place.
-Joe, be careful!
-They're all in it.
-How do you know?
-Voice stress analyzer.
-Even Rene?
-She's the toughest to read.
-Maybe she's telling the truth.
-Can't tell. Every time I try her, you look away. Or you make noises. Maybe you don't want to know.
-What is it, your charm?
-This just won't work.
-You're doing great with her.
-Not her. You!
-What is it?
-It's embarrassing.
-What if she says something important?
-I'll be right here. I'll keep it in mind. I'll get a lot more from her without you butting in.
-What am I supposed to do?
-You got any books in there?
-Oh come on.
-You shut down your sensors.
-Joe! It's 56 hours!
-What Happened?
-I don't know!
-Ahhh...works...Ryuji... travel...just business...She's.. Fine Arts, University of Tokyo..
-Is that all?
-She's got the most beautiful...s
-And on my time.
-It's not your time. I get time off.
-No. What do you hope? AL I hope. I just hope. That someday, you're real small, and you've got no time. And you got no one to help you. And you depend on me. And you know what I'll do?
-No. What will you do.
-You been had. We have.
-Some agent you are.
-Bingo.
-You found her.
-Better. I found Ryuji.
-That's good. It's not better. Where?
-Osaka.
-Osaka?
-Don't you think I stand out like this.
-We are trying to stand out. Right near his address. Easier to get them to come to us, than to try and find them. ..now keep your eyes open, something might present itself.
-What do I do?
-Follow her.
-On what?
-Come on, she's getting away.
-Beer. And cakes...cookies ..anything bad.
-Sapporo..
-Just stay here and rest.
-Where are you going?
-Down to your heart. I'm gonna clean some fat out before you drop on me.
-`Joe. I'm here. You're Okay.
-What do I do?
-Relax. Make your mind a blank.
-What are you doing? Wait a minute. Lets think this through.
-Yeah...You've fallen for her.
-I told you, I have a feeling...
-One of your instincts?
-Don't touch a thing.
-...drink it.
-What next!
-I can't...
-You have to! Quickly!
-What are you doing?
-Ow!
-Door to the right. Get up and run.
-I can't see a thing.
-What?
-Never mind, just say it.
-He was with Gruner!
-I need a guide and you need a client...and $1000.
-Hiroshima! She's going, with us? Are you out of your mind.
-Probably.
-I don't trust her.
-It's him.
-Plenty of circuits in a Walkman...
-I've got an idea.
-You sure this will work?
-Not sure at all.
-Well at least talk it up, then. I feel like an idiot.
-What was it? What'd I say?
-haka xuki.
-haka xuki. What's that mean?
-Left...The one with the red dot.
-Well...?
-He hung us up dry.
-While he makes the run.
-It's in the watch. He lead us on that chase while Dieter brought the chip into Hong Kong.
-And Dieter?
-Then, why'd he lead us here.
-Do it.
-I can't handle that thing.
-Are you alright?
-Aim just in front of his face.
-Holy...
-He aready made the deal..
-The man we want has the PEM, and is across the border by now.
-Dieter!
-There's a lot you don't know.
-This may hurt.
-Pretty advanced, isn't it?
-Do something.
-What exactly?
-What happened?
-Be quiet.
-Where've you been?
-Never mind that, where are we now.
-We are in a dungeon. How do we get out?
-Gimme a minute.
-I can always flush you down the toilet.
-Keep thinking.
-I have been... I think you're right.
-About what?
-Dieter asked where I was. He expected me here. Maybe someone was assigned to bring me here.
-Rene?
-She works for them.
-Now, you're too suspicious.
-You were the one who was always suspicious of her!
-I was wrong. She tried to help us get away.
-She is beautiful.
-Not really. Truth is...I was ..jealous. Of you.
-Thing is...I think I'm in love with her.
-I know it's no good. I've no right to be jealous.
-She's in love with you. Anyone can see that.
-You're a lucky man.
-She's so lovely. It's all my fault...I was wrong.
-I don't know how we're gonna get out of this, but we will, somehow.
-I want you to know how much I appreciate what you've done.
-Awwww...
-Don't worry, I owe you a lot. I'm not gonna let us rot here. I'm gonna find us a way out.
-I'll get us out of here.
-In a way, we're like brothers... I can't have her. I want you to.
-What are you doing?
-JOE Go to, What the Hell does that mean?!!
-GO-TOE. It's some islands.
-JOE What does some island have to do with this? It's a mistake?
-JOE What abilities...?
-I've got twenty hours left. I could die in here. And you're falling in love.
-JOE It's not love. It's like. It's real strong like. And I got your information. Now, get off my back!
-You just got a Mickey.
-Not that truth!
-Sorry...
-It'll remind me of you.
-Doesn't matter.
-What part what?
-I've seen that before. Never had anyone actually do it.
-What is your name?
-No!
-Oh, I can't.
-We've ruined his market in Japan.. Where's Dieter?
-I'm against it.
-Can you fly this?
-I'm...scared.
-I didn't do anything.
-Nice?
-What kind of a deal?
-Let us get to the border!
-I knew you were trouble.
-What happened?
-Joe's escaped. Dieter's in him.
-In him?
-It's a long story.
-They have stolen state property.
-I knew he was following us. He diverted attention, exposed Ryuji's trap..
-Rene?
-Impossible.
-If there is a POD inside him, We'll find it, and bring it out for study.
-Who's our little man?
-Me.
-No. If anything happened, you'd be stuck in there like he was.
-You didn't tell us you were coming?
-You've cut your hair?
-PEM115!
-**?!!
-How about a deal?
-Surveillance Cameras?
-They took the tapes.
-You have nothing...
-We'll have to let them go.
-Must be delayed effects of the drug... I'll get him out of here.
-He work for us?
-What Job?
-Doesn't matter. Then put him away.
-Sir?
-Private clinic. Best of care. Total privacy. We'll pay all costs.
-Bit expensive, sir.
-Who is your friend?
-We met on the beach.
-What are you doing here, where've you been?
-I have a new client.
-That crazy guy?
-Well, I'm glad to see you. Sorry things broke up like that.
-It's just money.
-Yes?
-He's not an ordinary man.
-Enough ROmance.
-I don't want to intrude.
-Al Viola.
-That name's familiar.
-It is to me too.
-...Foreign service.
-And how do you service foreigners.
-What brings you here?
-And...you know Jan Gruner?
-Now remember, your short term memory may have been affected.
-What?
-Your memory.
-What about it?
-It may have been affected.
-Oh.
-You may not remember things.
-What things?
-I don't know...the last couple of hours...last few days.
-Oh...that's okay.
-When you do...
-Do what?
-When you remember...
-Remember what?
-Anything....You call us right away. You got that?
-Yeah. If I remember anything... I call ...you
-Right.
-Who...are you?
-Sergeant Finnegan. Name's right there on the card. Are you sure you're alright?
-How do I look?
-Fine. You look fine.
-Thanks.
-Well...
-Well what?
-We're here.
-Here?
-Home. Your home. The address on your form.
-Oh.
-Don't you want to get out?
-Oh....Sure.
-Why don't you lie down until you feel better.
-I feel fine.
-You'll feel better
-I will?
-Joe.
-What?
-Take the card.
-Now, Joe, you know it was all a mistake, don't you?
-No, it wasn't, It was intentional.
-Why would we want to hurt you?
-Not you. Them.
-Who?
-Al?
-I'm not going anywhere until you get this guy out of my head.
-Ahhh...nothing.
-Been complaning of hallucinations.
-Not...complaining, actually.
-Was quite excited, when he came in...
-Sue who?
-That Rene...lovely girl...a killer!
-I noticed you staring.
-And you, there are many places to get away. Why here?
-You may you find all the solitude you want.
-Don't do it!
-Just give me the keys.
-How's that for fucking Savoir Fair!
-How's that Trucklhouser Beer?
-We have Henekin, Kirin... Very good, sir.
-Now you know what I know.
-About cholesterol...You know what I know, you'd have the seafood.
-The fresh tuna?..
-Yes...What is it?
-What's what?
-What do you want?
-Nothing.
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
-What?
-I said...I didn't say..anything!
-Then who did?
-Oh...and who is it!?
-What do you do about what?
-Is someone else here?
-No. No one to speak of.
-...Blake
-Blake?
-The poet...something he said...
-Blake said that?
-I'll be right there.
-Where?
-Dinner...tonight.
-And you.
-...right here too.
-I can't do that?
-Do what?
-Let you leave without it.
-What's so funny?
-Nothing...Al. Why do you talk that way?
-What way?
-Wait. What's your name?
-You mean from it.
-And you?
-You again.
-Me still. They left you alone?
-I waited for you.
-Why?
-I guess it's a combination you don't often see. Apparent attraction..
-It's not apparent.
-...and sort of...disinterest.
-Disinterest?
-As if your mind's not all there.
-I am sort of scattered.
-Can I help?
-You are.
-Promise you what?
-That you're not crazy.
-I promise you that. I am not crazy. Course, if I was, I'd be the last to know. Why do you ask?
-You talk to yourself.
-But I don't listen...then I'd be crazy.
-Why do you do it?
-If I was with you, I wouldn't
-You did.
-That was then. This is now. Who am I talking to?
-You're talking to me.
-And how'm I doing?
-You're doing...Okay.
-...Ummm, you really work for the foreign service?
-...Naw. Made that up.
-Who do you work for?
-No one. No one at all. I'm unemployed. Who do you?
-Trans Ocean Travel.
-Is that Ryuji?
-No. Ryuji just hires us.
-Hires you for what?
-To organize things. Meetings and travel...Whenever they come here, I handle details.
-How often they come here?
-He likes the quiet. They were here last week.
-And you, what do you like?
-Joe! What happened to you?
-Why did you leave?
-They left. I had to go with them.
-Why did you stay with me?
-Wanted to get to know you.
-Why?
-You seemed interesting.
-Who else is interested in me?
-What do you mean?
-Your friends, did they ask about me?
-They kidded me a little.
-What did you tell them?
-There's not much to tell.
-Why did they leave?
-I don't know, Ryuji said there was a change of plans.
-You work for Ryuji?
-Sometimes. I told you I did.
-Were you working for him last night?
-Last night?
-Did he put you up to it? Did he ask you to sleep with me?
-No, he didn't do that.
-He didn't.
-No.
-Who did?
-I'm not worried, I'm not going to eat it.
-You're leaving.
-Food doesn't agree with me.
-I'm leaving too.
-Why?
-This business is over.
-I'm sorry. What will you do?
-Go back to Tokyo. Try to get another tour....You're following GRUNER?
-I'm just on vacation.
-You know where he went?
-What's he done?
-He stole something. From a friend of mine.
-He must be a good friend.
-We're very close.
-What'd he steal?
-A chip. Goes in a computer.
-One chip?
-The most important one. Can you help me find him?
-How do you know you can trust me?
-I don't know. He mentioned a city.
-What is it?
-Hiroshima.
-You don't believe me.
-Oh sure.
-Then why are you smiling like that?
-Lots of my clients are rich guys... They like danger..like playing with drugs and things...running around, acting mysterious.
-What's Gruner like?
-They'd never talk in front of me. They'd walk away up the beach. Nervous about something.
-Who was?
-Ryuji and Gruner.
-And Dieter.
-Friend of Gruner. Just went along for the party.
-And you?
-Where we going?
-This boat doesn't go anywhere. Just toots around the Inland Sea.
-Must be a pick-up, a rendezvous.
-What?
-Now what?
-We figure out if it's in here.
-How?
-That must be him. Water taxi.
-Get us one.
-Where what?
-If Gruner led us away, Who'd he lead us away from?
-Hong Kong.
-What?
-Wait a minute! How'd you know Dieter was coming here?
-I asked him.
-Why'd you ask him.
-He's a client of mine! What's the matter. You can't suspect Dieter. He's a famous photographer. He makes millions.
-What?
-Chiang Cho?
-...across THE BORDER. Come on!
-That's not this direction. It's back the other way.
-You've been there?
-I know the territory.
-So do I.
-This going to work?
-Maybe they're expecting Gruner. I'm gonna be him.
-Why not?
-Can you?
-What happened?
-I can't fly it.
-Are you alright?
-Yes. No. I'm...okay. They can't do this. They can't hold us here.
-Looks like they can. What did they do?
-They asked about you.
-What did you tell them?
-That I really don't know.
-Now what?
-What? Oh, about Dieter, Yes. It was him. Gruner works for him.
-What a mess.
-You can say that again. What do we do?
-What?
-They can hold us here forever. Nobody knows about us.
-I'm sorry I got you into this.
-Don't blame yourself, I didn't have to come along.
-Why did you, then?
-I encouraged you to come here. My fault as much as yours.
-How?
-Now what?
-Uh...wonderful. I know I'm strange, but in my own way, I love you
-Don't worry.
-Why not, what are you going to do?
-Just like that?
-I'll come back for you.
-You son of a bitch! You conned me!
-Kiss her you fool.
-Who are you? Who do you work for?
-Doesn't matter. I'm on your side.
-I knew it. I told him.
-Now what?
-He can't help us.
-Do something!
-Do what? I don't know. I'm no good at this.
-You are, I've seen you.
-It wasn't me. It was him.
-It was you.
-He told me what to do.
-It was me. He just told me how...I wish he could tell me now.
-Come on.
-That's twenty feet high.
-Riuji?
-What is it?
-He wants to apologise.
-He should do it in person ...I mean ex person.
-Yeah...I have to get away.
-Must be a fulfilling occupation.
-What could you find in this place?
-Excuse me?
-I can't. He didn't do anything. Thanks to you.
-Why are you on to him?
-We've had thefts of our new stuff ...GRUNER deals in this... A big deal is going down now. I went to see if GRUNER had anything to sell. But he didn't make any moves...And when you arrived, he backed off.
-Why'd you invite me here?
-Someone is selling. You followed us. If it's not him, it must be you. If it's not you, it must be him... You scared him off.
-What about the others.
-Joe Doakes? It's quarter to 10...
-I'm sorry. We're running behind. So many applicants...so few jobs... If you'll just have a seat.
-I have a seat. I've had it since nine.
-Is there anything else?
-A drink...
-Water fountain's through that door, down the hall.
-Wait.
-Why?
-You can't take that.
-Why not?
-It's alright.
-It is?
-It will be fine. You have another.
-Just one. The back up.
-Could I have it, please.
-I can't get it out. It would take hours.
-That's alright. Just tear it apart.
-Tear it apart?
-Yes.
-Mom...what are you doing here?
-Right there.
-This the only spare?
-Yes.
-The other working.
-Ow?...
-It'l be alright.
-It will.
-It doesn't hurt.
-Screw the PEM...What about Al...
-What'd he say, how's he know about Al?
-What does he know?
-Look, nobody knows we did it.
-It'l take months.
-So we better get started.
-Hi, honey.
-Hi, Daddy.
-What's new?
-Ms. Laufer gave me a star today.
-Yeah? What for?
-That's great... Little early for cartoons, isn't it?
-Sweetheart, c'mon. C'mon.
-Here we go. Deep breaths, deep breaths.
-She was playing with the Pooh doll.
-I'll take some.
-Instant rice...?
-Hey, baby. What's wrong?
-What's that outside, Daddy?
-Did you see somebody or did you hear them?
-I heard them.
-Where?
-He's into kind of little cars, that...
-That remote control thing?
-Yeah.
-Alright, we'll do that tomorrow.
-Mom.
-Yes, baby?
-Let me tell you something, Lowell. Look, look, look. You're talking about two agents in a regional office in Louisville. I got the goddamn Unabomber threatening to blow up LAX! I gotta move 45 agents from all over the country into L.A. Alright? When I get a chance, I'll give it a look...
-Just ran into two of your "geologists." Geologists whose hands aren't all chewed up...?
-We'll give you a heads up before we launch.
-How long?
-Three hours.
-Well, are you or are you not, Charlie?
-You bet we are. And I can't talk to you now.
-We gotta hook up.
-Sure. Where?
-P.J.'s.
-When's your deadline?
-Monday.
-Push it.
-What? Forget it.
-It's a smear campaign, Charlie.
-It's drawn from a selectively circulated...
-Oh, it's real selective... about as hard to get a hold of as the Manhattan phone book.
-Well, it's authoritative and is overwhelmingly documented.
-And it's bullshit. And if I'm right, are you going to put the Journal's reputation behind a story that's going to blow up in your face?
-Are you all right?
-These are their leads, their sources. I want you to have your reporters...
-Suein Hwang and Milo Geyelin.
-I want you to get legal onto CORPORATE CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENTS. Boundaries of their constraint. Kentucky state law about. I want you to drop everything.
-What does that do?
-What do you mean, what's it do?
-What I mean is, like, how does it cut through the confidentiality agreement?
-Shit...
-Oh, we need cops on the street. We don't need them on horses.
-I don't know what he was thinking.
-Oh, for God's sake, what has this guy got, a horse fetish?
-Alright, alright.
-When's the air date?
-Excuse me, Lowell. Sharon's on line 3.
-What was that about?
-Get me Wigand.
-Sure.
-I can't get out of here til mid- morning. I'll be in tomorrow night... Listen, could you call a number for me, it's in Mississippi...
-Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'll see if I can find him. Hold on... Yeah, Don's looking for you...
-Good.
-Can I go to dance tomorrow? I'm better...
-Do you want more rice?
-Maybe later.
-What are you cooking?
-I'm cooking pasta primavera.
-I heard Wigand's deposition got sealed.
-"Tortious interference"? Sounds like a disease caught by a radio.
-Since when has the paragon of investigative journalism allowed lawyers to determine the news content on "60 Minutes"?
-Yeah, I heard rumors.
-Are you suggesting that she and Eric are influenced by money?
-Oh, no, of course they're not influenced by money. They work for free. And you are a Volunteer Executive Producer.
-CBS does not do that. And, you're questioning our journalistic integrity?!
-No, I'm questioning your hearing! You hear "reasonable" and "tortious interference." I hear... "Potential Brown & Williamson lawsuit jeopardizing the sale of CBS to Westinghouse." I hear... "Shut the segment down. Cut Wigand loose. Obey orders. And fuck off...!" That's what I hear.
-You're exaggerating!
-I am? You pay me to go get guys like Wigand, to draw him out. To get him to trust us, to get him to go on television. I do. I deliver him. He sits. He talks. He violates his own fucking confidentiality agreement. And he's only the key witness in the biggest public health reform issue, maybe the biggest, most-expensive corporate-malfeasance case in
-You are a fanatic. An anarchist. You know that? If we can't have a whole show, then I want half a show rather than no show. But oh, no, not you. You won't be satisfied unless you're putting the company at risk!
-So, what are you going to do?
-Well, what do you think I'm going to do? Quit in protest? I'm not going to do that.
-You're taking "no" for an answer?
-No. I'm not going to take "no" for an answer. No.
-I'm staying right here. Doing my job. Fighting to get my show on the air. You don't like it? Hey, I'll tell you what... fire my ass...
-What the hell are you doing?
-What does it look like I'm doing? I'm editing.
-No, not that. I'm talking about the Associated Press. They got this story that we pulled this interview and they talked to Mike and I. Did you tell them that we were lying?
-No. I should have. I told them I disagreed with you, Mike and Kluster that this segment is as good as the original. I'm not lying for you. I'm not gonna shut up for you. Not on any of it.
-The New York Times ran a blow by blow of what we talked about behind closed doors! You fucked us!
-There has been so much soul searching about this Wigand, I've decided we should cut an alternate version of the show without his interview.
-So, what happened to Ms. Caperelli's checking with outside counsel first, all that crap?
-That's happening. And, hopefully we won't have to use the alternate, but we should have it in the can.
-I'm not touching my film...
-I'm afraid you are.
-No, I'm not...
-So, now, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, Mr. Rather's been complaining about his chair again. As they start to leave...
-And what are you implying?
-Did you handle the round, Mr. Wigand?
-A gun? Yes.
-What caliber is your gun?
-What caliber is my gun?
-Yes, sir. What caliber is your gun?
-You think I put that bullet in the mailbox myself...?
-That bullet was for a .38 caliber. Do you own a .38?
-Yes, I do. A .38 Target Master. In my gun safe downstairs. A .45 Gold Cup. A .22 target pistol. So what?
-Do you have a history of emotional problems, Mr. Wigand?
-You can't take that... It's personal property...!
-We have a search warrant, Mr. Wigand. There's been a death threat.
-That computer has everything...
-Debbie...
-Oh, Bill... Main Justice is investigating a major New York bank. Laundering narco dollars out of their Mexico City branch. You want it for the Evening News?
-What about you, you got a crew already?
-I'm gonna do a follow-up.
-Okay.
-Shall I send for coffee? Sorry I'm late.
-No, no, we're fine...
-If this holds up, and it very well may not, Mike... but, if it did. And we aired this segment? And CBS was sued by Brown & Williamson? I think we could be at grave risk.
-How grave?
-Mike... Mike... Mike...
-What does that mean? "Rife with -- ?"
-I'm told unusual promises were made to Wigand.
-No, only that we would hold the story until it was safe for him...
-And, I'm told there are questions as to our "star witness'" veracity.
-His "veracity" was good enough for the State of Mississippi.
-Well, as a "standard"... I'll hang with "is the guy telling the truth?"
-Well, with tortious interference, I'm afraid... the greater the truth, the greater the damage.
-Come again?
-They own the information he's disclosing. The truer it is, the greater the damage to them. If he lied, he didn't disclose their information. And the damages are smaller.
-Is CBS corporate telling CBS News do not go to air with this story?
-Hey, Lowell.
-How are you, Jim?
-Hi, baby.
-How prominent? What kind of placement?
-Oh, c'mon, Lowell. This is The New York Times. I don't know...
-Well, until you do, all I can tell you is what you already know... they will not air an interview.
-Hello?
-Here's how it works. You ask me questions. I tell you if you're wrong.
-Okay. Lowell?
-Yeah?
-You're sure you want to do this?
-Why?
-Hey, it doesn't work? You've burned your bridges, man.
-You ready...?
-Lowell?
-Did I tell you you were wrong?
-I can take her.
-Don't you have to be at the office?
-Is there any more rice...?
-I'm sorry, darling, have you seen my coffee mug...?
-Uh, what are those boxes?
-I'm going to the store. You need anything?
-What do you need at the store?
-Soy sauce...
-Right now?
-That's my stuff from the office...
-Why did you take your stuff from the office?
-I didn't want to leave it there...
-I don't understand.
-I got fired this morning... Where else am I gonna take it?
-Why? Who said?
-Thomas Sandefur...
-There's a severance agreement... It includes cash payouts over time and continuing medical coverage... Sure you don't need anything?
-What's going on?
-...taping? What are you taping?
-I'm doing an interview.
-Please don't wash your hands in the sink.
-Where should I wash them?
-Use the bathroom.
-What's the difference...
-I don't think I can do this... I want to stand by my husband... I really do, Jeffrey. But I don't think I can do this anymore. I am so sorry...
-Can we talk about this when I get back?
-Thank you, Bob.
-Who's calling?
-My name's Lowell Bergman... I'm --
-Did you say Berman?
-No, Bergman... B.E.R.G.M.A.N.... I'm a producer with "60 Minutes"...
-"60 Minutes"?
-Yeah.
-"60 Minutes," the television show?
-Oh, someone took a poll? "Are all things Canadian boring...?"
-It's Stuart... he's in Mexico City...
-No classes this morning?
-Will independent sources corroborate that?
-Let me see this... No, 'cause I gotta know where you're going at all times.
-Two p.m. Great. Bye-bye.
-...no... this looks like a table of temperatures... Who's this from?
-...it's anonymous. References to "P.M." It's got to be Philip Morris, huh?
-What's wrong?
-They're killing the Wigand interview...
-What?!
-They're pretending it's process. Bullshit, it's foregone.
-What are you and Mike going to do?
-I'm alone on this...
-Jeffrey Wigand...
-"I'm Lowell Bergman, I'm from '60 Minutes.'" You know, you take the "60 Minutes" out of that sentence, nobody returns your phone call. Maybe Wigand's right. Maybe I'm hooked. What am I hooked on? The rush? "60 Minutes"? What the hell for? Infotainment. It's so fucking useless, all of it.
-So, it's a big country with a free press. You can go work somewhere else.
-Free press? Press is free... for anyone who owns one. Larry Tisch has a free press.
-Get some perspective, Lowell.
-I got perspective.
-No, you do not.
-From my perspective, what's been going on and what I've been doing is ridiculous. It's half-measures.
-Yeah...
-...you fucked me!
-Is it too late?
-Oh, my God.
-You're not even on this anymore... What do you care?
-Yes, I'm right here. Could you call me back on a hard line?
-Alright.
-Area code 212-555-0199.
-...you filed a lawsuit against tobacco on behalf of the State of Mississippi, did you not?
-That's right...
-Well, I'm working with someone, now, who was the former head of research at Brown & Williamson, a former corporate officer there.
-What's your interest in this, Mr. Bergman?
-Has he decided to go public? Because let me tell you, we've been doing this for three years now, and we've worked with a lot of corporate cases involving whistle-blowers, so we know... Big Tobacco will do everything in their power to stop him. So, is your man truly committed?
-Well, we'd certainly be interested in making his acquaintance, but without knowing what he's going to do...
-Well, would you want him to call you? Or, you want to call him? How do you want to do it?
-It would be better if he called us.
-Yeah.
-Alright?
-Yeah, I'm here.
-...I'd be lying to you if I did not tell you how important it was in the court of public opinion...
-...and I'd be lying to you if I didn't tell you, I'm about out of moves, Dick...
-We're there.
-Good, well ask him if Arabic is his second language.
-...come in earlier on Mike's Marine barracks line when he's talking to Sheikh Mussawi...
-You eating with us?
-Yeah.
-He referred to this... the Seven Dwarfs...
-What "Seven Dwarfs?"
-Well, it isn't "cigarettes are bad for you"...
-Hardly new news.
-No shit.
-Okay, let's look through the looking glass the other way...
-What do you mean?
-We got a guy... who wants to talk but he's constrained. What if he were "compelled"?
-So, is everything okay?
-Thank you for saying that...
-Do you think we could talk about the taping? Tomorrow's taping, just so we can get it out of the way and order...
-Oh, man.
-Who are these people?
-It went great in Mississippi, Mike.
-I think what we're trying to tell you is that it happens all the time. This is a news organization. People are always telling us things they shouldn't. We have to verify if it's true and in the public interest... And if it is, we air it.
-I discovered this. SEC filing... For the sale of the CBS Corporation to Westinghouse Corporation.
-Lowell.
-"Put the corporation at risk"...? Give me a fucking break!
-Lowell.
-These people are putting our whole reason for doing what we do... on the line!
-Lowell!
-What?
-I've been banished. In lieu of being fired.
-I took off on Tisch. I took off on corporate. They'll know they're not going to see everything on Sunday night...
-I don't know. How does that get Wigand on the air?
-Yeah.
-You disappeared on me. How long you staying?
-I disappeared on you?
-Alright. What did you think?
-Did I get you up?
-How many shows have we done? Huh? C'mon, how many?
-Oh, lots.
-Yeah, that's right.
-But in all that time, Mike, did you ever get off a plane, walk into a room, and find that a source for a story changed his mind? Lost his heart? Walked out on us? Not one fucking time! You want to know why?
-I see a rhetorical question on the horizon.
-I'm going to tell you why. Because when I tell someone I'm going to do something, I deliver.
-Oh, how fortunate I am to have Lowell Bergman's moral tutelage to point me down the shining path. To show me the way.
-Oh, please, Mike...
-Give me a break!
-No, you give me a break! I never left a source hung out to dry, ever. Abandoned. Not 'til right fucking now! When I came on this job, I came with my word intact. I'm gonna leave with my word intact. Fuck the rules of the game! Hell, you're supposed to know me, Mike. What the hell did you expect? You expect me to
-In the real world, when you get to where I am, there are other considerations...
-Like what? Corporate responsibility? What, are we talking celebrity here?
-Mike... in my...
-That Canada story? Still interest you?
-C'mon, it all worked out. You came out okay in the end...
-Coffee?
-Yeah... Thank you.
-How have you liked your stay?
-Please to explain, why I should agree to interview... with pro-Zionist American media?
-Perhaps you prove journalism objectivity and I see the questions first. Then I decide if I grant the interview.
-Tell him I will see him day after tomorrow.
-Who's that?
-How do you like your coffee? Black?
-Look, I really don't have that much time...
-Is there anything you want to know about me, Mr. Wigand...?
-I know what I have to know.
-Just so I know you know, when I talk to people in confidence, it stays that way.
-...but that's as far as I go...
-Far as you go where?
-Doesn't CBS have confidentiality agreements, Mr. Bergman?
-Between journalists and management, yes, I believe they do... but I don't take that seriously. Where do you work?
-Did work.
-Did work.
-How much would I get paid?
-Should I just take the documents now?
-...protect your sources...! You screwed me! You sold me out!
-What are you talking about? Where are you?
-Mrs. Wigand, how do you do?
-Jump in, quick, c'mon...
-C'mere. I want to talk to you.
-What do...
-I did not burn you. I did not give you up to anyone!
-This is my house... In front of my wife, my kids?! What business do we have?
-To straighten something out with you. Right here. Right now.
-So, you didn't mention my name? You haven't talked to anybody about me?
-Why am I gonna mention your name?
-How did Brown & Williamson know I spoke to you...?
-How the hell do I know about Brown & Williamson?
-It happened after I talked to you. I do not like coincidences!
-And I don't like paranoid accusations! I'm a journalist. Think. Use your head. How do I operate as a journalist by screwing the people who could provide me with information before they provided me with it?
-You came all the way down here to tell me that?
-And, I'm unemployed. So I have to protect my medical coverage. ...so I left them a message this morning. Their expanded confidentiality agreement? I will sign it.
-They're afraid of you, aren't they?
-Talk to me outside the zone of your agreement?
-Like what?
-Like where'd you work before Brown & Williamson?
-Johnson & Johnson. Union Carbide in Japan. I was general manager and director of new products. I speak Japanese. I was a director of corporate development at Pfizer. All health-related. What else? Outside the "zone"...?
-Seven dwarfs?
-The seven CEOs of Big Tobacco... they got up in front of Congress that time... it was on television...
-...and swore under oath that they know nothing about addiction, disease...
-It was on C-SPAN. Yeah.
-Okay, so, here you are... you go to work for tobacco. You come from corporate cultures where research, really, creative thinking, these are core values. You go to tobacco... Tobacco is a sales culture. Market and sell enormous volume. Go to a lot of golf tournaments. The hell with everything else. What are you doing? Why are you working for "tobacco" in the first
-I've always thought of myself... as a man of science. That's what's wrong with it.
-The new place? New.
-You know, I was thinking of calling you tomorrow, anyway. How are your kids handling the new house?
-No, you said you were going to call me tomorrow. So, what about?
-Oh, yes, yes, yes, I did... I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to hook up and talk to you. About what we were talking about in your car.
-...okay.
-How'd you know that, Lowell?
-Hello. You there
-Yeah... Look, thanks for talking. I'm sorry I woke you up.
-What did you get us?
-The internet said you did graduate work in Wisconsin, then went to UC La Jolla with Professor... Marcus?
-Marcuse. Yeah. He was my mentor. He had a major influence on the New Left in the late '60s... and on me, personally.
-Next to your father?
-My father? What the hell's that got to do with my father?
-Is that why you became a journalist? Then you get to ask all the questions?
-You charge by the hour?
-My father was a mechanical engineer... most ingenious man I ever knew.
-Well, my father left us when I was five-years old. He was not the most ingenious man I ever knew... Let's get back to Brown & Williamson. If you decide to go on "60 Minutes," I got to know everything about why you got fired.
-Why?
-They're gonna dig up stuff from your past, they're gonna throw it at you. I got to know what they're gonna throw. You understand?
-I drink. A couple of occasions more than I should have. I was cited for shoplifting once. But it was a mistake... I pushed Liane one time. We were both stressed out because of the pressure. She went to her mother's. I got fired because when I get angry I have difficulty censoring myself. And I don't like to be pushed around!
-I'm not pushing you around! I'm asking you questions.
-I'm just a commodity to you, aren't I? I could be anything. Right? Anything worth putting on between commercials...
-You believe that?
-No.
-You should. Because when you're done, a judgment is going to go down in the court of public opinion, my friend. And that's the power you have.
-You believe that?
-I believe that? Yes, I believe that.
-You believe that because you get information out to people... something happens?
-Yes.
-Maybe that's just what you've been telling yourself all these years to justify having a good job? Having status? And maybe for the audience, it's just voyeurism? Something to do on a Sunday night. And maybe it won't change a fucking thing. And people like myself and my family are left hung out to dry. Used up! Broke, alone!
-Are you talking to me or did somebody else just walk in here?! I never abandoned a source!
-I don't think you really understand --
-No, don't evade a choice you gotta make be questioning my reputation or "60 Minutes'" with this cheap skepticism!
-I have to put my family's welfare on the line here, my friend! And what are you puttin' up? You're puttin' up words!
-Excuse me. Yeah...
-Jeff, call the FBI right away...
-They do this with impunity!
-Jeff...
-Good. But Jeff...
-Liane, this is a preliminary... You didn't tell her we were taping? What did she think she was coming to New York for?
-Lowell, I can't afford --
-I called Richard Scruggs in Mississippi...
-I heard.
-I'm going to be a witness for them in their litigation. So I'm going to fly to Pascagoula to give a deposition...
-I know. I'm going to go there tonight...
-You attract a crowd.
-Yeah, great.
-I heard about the Kentucky gag order...
-What's changed?
-You mean... since this morning?
-"Part of the reason I'm here is I felt that their representation clearly, at least within..."
-I don't know how to say this, Jeff, except to just say it right out, so I'll say it. They do not want to air it.
-What?!
-B & W may have threatened litigation... CBS is on the block... But you, I mean, I know how...
-No.
-No? No, what?
-Oh, you know what we do or do not need to know? Since when have you become a media expert?
-I told the truth!
-...I was young. I was young... confused... We didn't handle it the right way...
-She sued you for back payments of child support?
-Yes. Did you lie about being on the American Judo Team in the Olympics?
-What?
-Some public relations guy got a hold of a tape of an interview... where you're saying you were on the American Judo Team in the Olympics...?
-Alright... the ABC Telemarketing Company?
-ABC...?
-ABC Telemarketing Company.
-That's the whole point, Jeffrey. That's the whole point. Anyone's. Everyone's. They are gonna look under every rock, dig up every flaw, every mistake you've ever made. They are going to distort and exaggerate everything you've ever done, man. Don't you understand?
-What does this have to do with my testimony?
-That's not the point.
-What does this have to do with my testimony?! I told the truth! It's valid and true and provable!
-That's not the fucking point, whether you told the truth or not! Hello...?
-I've got to teach class. I've got to go. I've got to teach class.
-You manipulated me into this...!
-That's bullshit, Jeff!
-You greased the rails!
-I greased the rails for a guy who wanted to say yes. I helped him to say yes. Alright. You're not a robot, Jeff! That's all. You got a mind of your own, don't you?
-"Up to you, Jeffrey. That's the power you have, Jeffrey. Vital insider information the American public need to know." Lowell Bergman, the hot show who never met a source he couldn't turn around.
-I fought for you... and I still fight for you.
-You fought for me...?! ...you manipulated me... into where I am now... staring at the Brown & Williamson Building. It's all dark. Except the 10th floor! That's the legal department. That's where they fuck with my life!
-Where are you, anyway?
-I'm on a leave of absence. Forced vacation.
-You try and have a good time.
-I think I need to call the police. He won't respond...
-Did he hear you?
-What about now?
-What?
-What's happening?!
-He doesn't seem to be listening...
-Alright, now listen to me. I want you -- I want you to tell him, in these words: get on the fucking phone...!
-I can't say that!
-Just give me an example...
-We have a couple. One's hers, one's mine. Everybody uses a different name. Modern marriage. How's Liane?
-Hold on a minute, Lowell... ...somebody... may be following me. I don't know. They came on the property...
-What do you mean followed you? Did you call the police?
-I don't want to be paranoid... I mean, maybe it's a game. Some kind of mind game.
-Well, what do you really think, though?
-Well, no, look... I mean, there was a footprint. Forget it. It's probably not important at all. You know, I got a job now. I'm teaching high school. Japanese and Chemistry. So, what were you calling about?
-What are you talking about?
-I heard you. But I got to arrange a legal defense first. I got to get you to testify in court, get it on public record.
-Jeffrey, how are you? How's the family, okay?
-There is -- there is no family.
-What do you mean there is no family?
-And, so, I moved out... I see the girls a couple of days a week...
-Where you staying now?
-Jeff Wigand, Michael Moore.
-Good to meet you, Dr. Wigand.
-Mike's our Attorney General down here. I was just explaining to Jeff, they got a Kentucky court to issue a gag order to stop his deposition today.
-Right.
-Now, they tried to get the Mississippi Court to honor it, but the judge threw it out... However, for you, there is a more perilous effect to the Kentucky gag order...
-You heard Mr. Sandefur say before Congress that he believed nicotine was not addictive...?
-All of us did. There was this whole line of people... whole line of CEOs up there all swearing.
-Part of the reason I'm here is I felt that their representation clearly misstated, at least within Brown & Williamson's representation, clearly misstated... what is common language within the company... we are in the nicotine delivery business.
-And that's what cigarettes are for...?
-A delivery device for nicotine.
-A delivery device for nicotine. Put it in your mouth, light it up, and you're gonna get your fix...
-You're gonna get your fix...
-You're saying that Brown & Williamson manipulates and adjusts the nicotine fix, not by artificially adding nicotine, but by enhancing the effect of nicotine through the use of chemical elements such as ammonia...
-The process is known as "impact boosting..." While not spiking nicotine, they clearly manipulate it. There's extensive use of this technology, know as "ammonia chemistry." It allows for the nicotine to be more rapidly absorbed in the lung and therefore affect the brain and central nervous system.
-The straw that broke the camel's back for me and really put me in trouble with Sandefur was a compound called "coumarin." When I came on board at B&W, they had tried to transition from coumarin to a similar flavor that would give the same taste, and had been unsuccessful. I wanted it out immediately. I was told that it would affect sales, so
-And you sent the document forward to Sandefur?
-I sent the document forward to Sandefur. I was told that we would continue to work on a substitute, we weren't going to remove it as it would impact sales, and that that was his decision.
-In other words, you were charging Sandefur and Brown & Williamson with ignoring health considerations consciously...
-Most certainly.
-And on March 24, Thomas Sandefur, CEO of Brown & Williamson had you fired. And the reason he gave you?
-Poor communication skills.
-And, do you wish you hadn't come forward? You wish you hadn't blown the whistle?
-"I would bet on it."
-"You wish you hadn't blown the whistle?"
-Object to the form of the question!
-It acts as a drug on the body?
-Object to the form!
-It acts as a...
-Object!
-There an echo in here? Your objection's been recorded. She typed it into her little machine over there. It's on the record. So now I'll proceed with my deposition of my witness. Does it act as a drug?
-Dr. Wigand. I am instructing you... ...not to answer that question in accordance to the terms of the contractual obligations undertaken by you not to disclose any information about your work at the Brown & Williamson Tobacco Company. And in accordance with the force and effect of the temporary restraining order that has been entered against you to by the court in the State
-Hello.
-Mr. Scruggs, Jeff Wigand. Lowell Bergman said I should give you a call...
-My co-counsel, Ron Motley, and I have filed a lawsuit against the tobacco industry on behalf of the State of Mississippi to get the state reimbursed Medicaid costs for treating people with smoking-related illness. If you'd be interested in talking to us, we'd certainly like to talk to you...
-Jail?
-Possibly, yes. That is one of the possible consequences of your testifying here today. That's right...
-Jeff's a premiere golfer... What are you, a two handicap?
-Seven...
-And, he gets out there and he has five strokes on us. He has more concentration than anybody I've ever met. It's spooky how he can concentrate.
-Jeffrey says exactly what's on his mind. Most people consider what they're saying... social skills... Jeffrey just charges right ahead. Now, I know you understood the nature of the confidentiality portion of your severance agreement with Brown & Williamson, Jeff...
-Chapter and verse.
-Is that a threat?
-...we worked together for, what was it, three years...? Now, the work we did here is confidential, not for public scrutiny... any more than are one's family matters...
-You threatening my family, now, too?
-Now, don't be paranoid, Jeff. About the direction of research here, we may have had our differences of opinion...
-"Research..." You declare, as a badge of honor, you don't even know what makes water boil...
-That's why we hire scientists...
-Okay. I don't believe you can maintain corporate integrity without confidentiality agreements. I was paid well for my work. The health and welfare benefits are good. The severance package is fair. I have no intention of violating my confidentiality agreement and disclosing that which I said I wouldn't.
-Yes. Your husband did show remarkable foresight in taking those pictures. And, yes, absent a swimming pool, the presence of the pool man would appear to be suspicious. But Bonnie, who is the real victim here? Let me suggest the following. Your husband, who on a prior occasion slapped you -- beat you --
-Well, I wouldn't say --
-Your husband, who has beaten you -- repeatedly --
-He --
-Please -- was at the time brandishing your firearm, trying in his rage to shoot an acquaintance -- friend of long standing --
-They hate each other --
-Miles, how nice of you to see us -- may I introduce Howard D. Doyle of Doyle Oil.
-Yeah. I know. Leather would be more practical, but whatcha gonna do?
-Sixteen years? Howard Jr. is fourteen and Mandy must be what -- twelve?
-Honey, I don't think this is really relevant to...
-...and one day, this sweet girl calls me, asks me to lunch. Just a shoulder to cry on deal. One thing leads to another and before I know it --
-Baby. You are so HOT!
-As you are well aware, my previous marriage ended with an unjustified strain on my reputation My motives were questioned. I was slandered in court.
-You did good, Massey!
-Therefore in an effort to remove any trace of suspicion from my sweet Howard -- I wish to execute a pre- nuptial agreement.
-And -- there's no talking her out of it. Believe me, I've tried.
-They say the Massey pre-nup has never been penetrated.
-Course I can't do much "wriggling" if you tie me up like that again. Massey -- this is one bad bad little girl.
-Oh. Right. Won't you have a seat?
-And how is Mrs. Reiser?
-Few suicide attempts, little inpatient stint. Naturally, she misses her kids. Six weekends a year and alternate Yom Kippurs seemed harsh to us but -- hey -- all's fair. Anyhoo, she lives with a "nurse," takes her meds and goes to occupational therapy at a local sheltered workshop.
-So she's uh, flourishing?
-Muh -- Well, uh -- Huh?
-I... uh guess congratulations are in order.
-No!
-What a touching story.
-Harvard? Whoa, Daddy!
--- understand what you're asking for here. The Massey pre-nup provides that in the event of a dissolution of the marriage for any reason, both parties shall leave it with whatever they brought in, and earned during. No one can profit from the marriage. The pre-nup protects the wealthier party.
-Well -- at the moment, that'd be me.
-And without it, that party is exposed -- a sitting duck. No wriggle room.
-A Wriggle Room! Maybe we should put that in the Malibu house. Screw the screening room!
-Excuse me, Mr. Doyle, if I could just borrow your charming fiancee for a moment.
-What part?
-I'd just like to have a word with her.
-I am here representing Mr. Dumbarton, on a... matter of some delicacy.
-Who's the pigeon?
-Excuse me?
-Who do you want me to kill?
-Well -- I, uh, that is to say Mr. Dumbarton -- would like you to uh, neutralize a, uh, business associate by the name of Marylin Rexroth Doyle Massey uh Dumbart -- uh, Massey.
-Is that... one person?
-You're in a rush.
-Whoever sent you, I'll pay double.
-Is this Mr. Dumbarton?
-That's his lawyer.
-Triple!
-You're calling me a pestilence? That's a hoot!
-Lemme tell you something. You are the pestilence. I'm the exterminator.
-Well, actually, all whores worship the dollar, if you want to get technical.
-Objection, your honor!
-Grounds?
-Who's next, Mrs. Rabinow.
-We rest, Your Honor.
-Objection, Your Honor. This isn't about Mrs. Rexroth's filial obligations.
-She got absolutely nothing. Zero. Zip.
-So. I won't be seeing her? Your clients usually visit me after the settlement.
-Not this one. Not unless her HMO covers plastic surgery, which, incidentally, she does not need.
-Everyone needs plastic surgery. You need it.
-I don't need it.
-You want Botox?
-What the hell is Botox?
-It's a form of botulism. I just inject it into your forehead, and it paralyzes your eyebrows so you can't raise them...
-Why in God's name would I want...?
-No frown lines. New watch?
-It's a LeCoultre Revers. You can flip the face, and set it for two time zones.
-Why would you need two time zones? You never leave Beverly Hills.
-It was a gift from a client.
-Set one side for Bel Air.
-Botox. Christ. We had aspirations when we were in college.
-We did not.
-You were going to be a Cardiac Surgeon. I was going to clerk for the Supreme Court.
-I was going to play golf. You were going to have Asian girlfriends.
-You're in check.
-Do you think I'm going to end up like Herb Myerson, with a colostomy bag instead of a family?
-Got any symptoms?
-Yes. The inability to experience pleasure.
-Oh. That. Don't waste time with your queen.
-What?
-The Center Counter Defense. The thing is not to move your queen too early.
-She can't really love that idiot, can she?
-What?
-Marylin Rexroth. She came into my office and signed a pre-nup with Howard Doyle.
-Doyle Oil? A Massey Pre-nup? She loves him.
-He's the wrong man.
-I'm happy for you, pal.
-Thanks, buddy.
-Is she Asian?
-Asian? No.
-I have it.
-You have the pre-nup?
-No. I have the ring. Was I supposed to have a pre-nup?
-No. You have the ring. Wrigley has the pre-nup.
-They won't get a conviction. The husband called it in as a suicide. The forensic guys weren't thinking murder. I'm sure some of the evidence was compromised.
-It's your move, Miles.
-My God.
-What?
-That was Marvin Untermeyer.
-Yes?
-He was Rex Rexroth's personal attorney.
-What do you mean, was.
-I'm sorry to hear that. But you weren't close, were you?
-Marvin says that Rex's will is four years old. He never redrafted it.
-She's rich. We're still married. We have no pre-nup.
-Who was that?
-That was -- oh, shit. What if he's on his way over there?
-Marylin! What have I done?
-Mrs. Guttman, you have testified that you were your husband's sexual slave for thirty-six years, ever since you were married --
-Except for two years when he was in the Navy, in Korea.
-Prior to your marriage, what was your profession?
-I was a hostess. For Trans-World Airlines.
-What is your husband's profession?
-So who'd you hire?
-You should have tried to get pregnant Marylin -- solidify your position.
-No.
-You like kids.
-It was like that scene in The Godfather. Frankie Pentangeli is called to testify against the Family. And he's in court, and he looks into the spectators gallery, and sees his Brother. They brought the brother from Sicily. And Frankie can't say a word. He can't testify. That's what it was like seeing Pat in there. I couldn't even have Ruth cross examine her.
-Why do you think she did it?
-Maybe she wanted a free trip to LA. Maybe they offered her money. Massey is very seductive. Who knows.
-I begged you to have a baby!
-You're vulnerable.
-You said 'yes' didn't you?
-Is Tong older than Ming?
-Well. He said to "make the house mine."
-Oh boy. If he only knew.
-It sounded like a bell.
--- Ruth Rabinow, this is Rex Rexroth. And you must be Mrs. Rexroth.
-How nice.
-These are yours.
-I assume this is on Rex?
-Your husband told me you were beautiful, but I was unprepared.
-Do you have a hard heart, Marylin.
-Did you see the tape?
-Not yet.
-Tell me Mr. Massey. What was your performance about this afternoon?
-What does your lawyer think?
-Ruth says you've been too successful, that you're bored, complacent, and you're on your way down.
-But you don't agree?
-How do you know?
-Why would you be here?
-I'll have the tournedos of beef. And the lady will have the same? I assume you're a carnivore.
-"Who ever lov'd that lov'd not at first sight?"
-You didn't ask me here to pick me up. You could get in trouble for that.
-Not really. You're not my client. Freedom of association. Big issue with the First Amendment fans. Want to go to Hawaii for the weekend?
-Have you ever been married, Miles?
-No.
-You don't believe in it.
-As a matter of fact, I'm a huge fan.
-You just haven't met the right person.
-All right, Miles. Let me tell you everything you THINK you know. I was married to Rex for a long time. I was an excellent wife, a partner, a lover, a hostess and a friend. There was only one thing I did wrong during the five years we were together. I got five years older. Think he should be able to ditch me for
-He wants a reconciliation.
-See the tape. Then we can discuss reconciliation. Rex screwed up and I nailed his ass. Now I'm going to have it mounted and have my girlfriends over to throw darts at it. Then I'm getting on with my life. That's all I'm after.
-Gotcha.
-What is it you're after, Miles?
-Oh, I'm a lot like you -- just looking for an ass to mount.
-Yes. I loved my husband, Rex.
-And you hoped to spend the rest of your life with him?
-He'll regret this.
-Oh, for the love of...
-That is true, isn't it Miles? Your pre-nup is the best there is?
--- we are both sure that's what we want?
-Getting married.
-To him? He's a sick freak.
-He's passionate.
-Passionate! He's a pervert. He should have to register when he moves.
-All girls enjoy a little rough trade from time to time.
-Marylin! Listen to me.
-No. You listen to me. You busted me, Miles. You left me with nothing! What did you expect me to do? Get a degree in counseling? Write a book about table linen? Because that's what wives do when they get dumped, and frankly, I'm not quite ready for that.
-But why him?
-The Massey pre-nup has never been pene -- successfully challenged.
-So I hear. Is that all?
-I'd like to offer my congratulations. That was a beautiful gesture of Howard's.
-Howard is a beautiful person.
-Yes. He's a diamond in the rough. And I have a feeling that someday soon you'll be taking that diamond and leaving the rough.
-Miles. Miles. Miles.
-I am thrilled for you, but tell me this... How'd you get Howard to do it? I've addressed enough juries to appreciate the power of suggestion, but it seemed like he thought it was his own idea.
-It was his idea. It was a gesture of love and trust. Be happy for me, Miles.
-Well, when this goes south -- promise you'll have dinner with me?
-Have you tried the duck?
-It has bones. Be sure to swallow one.
-To victory.
-I don't feel victorious Miles. I feel betrayed, abandoned and humiliated. I have pictures of him with another woman...
-More pictures? My God, Marylin. You can open an erotic art gallery.
-Did you invite me here to score some cheap laughs.
-No. Just to comfort you, and appreciate you --
-Hello?
-Miles?
-Yes? Marylin?
-You're right about me. I am worthless. I am nothing. I don't deserve to live.
-Marylin? When did I say...?
-Screw you, asswipe!
-Marylin? Forgive me but are you -- drunk?
-A little. You get out of the car. That's right, Fuctard. I'm talkin' to you!
-You shouldn't be driving. Where are you?
-I'm on Sunset. Near the Beverly Hills hotel. Wanna meet me for a drink in the Polo...?
-I live right near there. The 800 Block of Maple. Come here. Marylin -- come here right now before -- just come here.
-Okay. Should I stop at Starbucks and pick up a blended for --
-No. Don't stop.
-You have a very nice home, Miles. Very inviting.
-Thank you.
-You have wonderful art. I love that lithograph. Hockney?
-Yes. I just got that, actually. It was a gift.
-From a -- girlfriend.
-No. No. I don't have a... no. It was from a client.
-No kidding. I'll bet you have some very grateful clients. What'd Rex buy you?
-Is that you?
-Me. Yes.
-Oh. And that is -- mom?
-Yeah. Mom. Mom and brother.
-Hmmm...
-And your mother was very beautiful. She must be proud of you.
-She never particularly cared for me.
-She didn't love you?
-No. She loved me. She would never not love her son. She just didn't... I wasn't her "type." She said I was a very, colicky baby. You know? Difficult. Not a good sleeper? Didn't eat well? We got off to a bad start, and she never seemed to recoup --
-She held that against you?
-Apparently she was very disappointed.
-And here I thought my mother was...
-Your mother was.
-We're damaged goods.
-No, we're not!
-We are, Miles. You know I'm right. There's something "off" about you and me Miles. And maybe it isn't because of these women -- maybe they were just extremely insightful and recognized our "deficiencies" very early on. Maybe...
-That is bullshit! Mine is a bitch and yours is a psycho. I can't believe you're saying this, Marylin! There's nothing wrong with us. We're attractive and charismatic and successful and... I like us.
-I'm sorry Miles. You shouldn't listen to me. I'm sure you have a very fulfilling life. I'd better go. I'm depressing.
-No.
-Friends?
-I have to say -- I'm speechless. No. I'm never speechless.
-I'm a little embarrassed. I'm not used to losing control with such -- volume.
-And I'm not used to -- Marylin -- there's something I want to ask you.
-What is it Miles?
-I want to be your -- your wife.
-Huh?
-No... That wasn't right. I want YOU to be MY wife.
-Did you just propose to me?
-Yes. I am. What else could those words mean? I believe we belong together and we can make one another happy. And we should be happy because happiness is better than the alternative which is -- just jump in any old time, Marylin. You have more experience at this than I do.
-Yes.
-Yes? Yes, you do have more experience?
-Yes, Miles. I accept.
-You do?
-Do you want me to sleep on it?
-No.
-Do you want to sleep on it?
-No ma'am. I have been asleep all my life up to this moment. Marylin, will you marry me?
-I don't have a ring!
-I know.
-Wasn't she the Judge at my divorce hearing?
-No. Judge -- just a sec. But Marylin, if we sign it, I can't hope to benefit from the marriage.
-Oh Miles!
-But?
-I'm sorry. I'm squishing you. I'll move to the...
-Honey, I could sit...
-In fact, this is not a married house -- it's a bachelor pad.
-Hardly. You have six bedrooms
-Here's my card. Spend as much as you want. We get mileage.
-Well, I suppose I could "girly" it up for you with a little Fortuny, and some passementerie --
-Good. Are those foods?
-Fabric and fringe.
-Exactly. And then -- maybe -- not right away -- There's a room right off the bedroom -- It would be perfect for a nursery. It's a walk in humidor right now -- but if I took out the refrigeration unit --
-Miles.
-Hi.
-Hello Marylin.
-I have a surprise for you.
-You don't like me?
-I love you. I want to have your baby.
-Miles. I have a very good relationship with all the salesmen. I can return everything.
-Can you Marylin? Can you return the trust? Can you return the hopes? The dreams? Can you just... SEND IT ALL BACK FOR STORE CREDIT?
-Miles? You're scaring me.
-Well. Well. Well. Look who made bail!
-May I come in?
-I don't know. Maybe I should grab my mace. I'm a civil attorney. I have little experience with "the criminal mind."
-I'd just like to pick up a few of my things
-I don't believe you have "things."
-Comfy!
-What do you want?
-I want to nail you ass.
-Are you threatening me, because I'm sure that's a violation of the terms of your bail.
-I'm reporting you to the IRS.
-I'm clean with the IRS. I've reported every dollar I've ever made. Try again, girlfriend.
-STUFF. Got a light?
-Arty Farty stuff. Lithographs and pre Castro Cubans. Watches and mileage on private jets. Stuff, Miles. Stuff you get from grateful clients.
-Those are gifts.
-Salary. Unreported income. By the way, what time IS it on Bellagio Road?
-You can't prove anything.
-I don't have to. That's what the IRS guys do. And they do it with great zeal. See, they work at these tortuous civil service jobs, and when five hundred dollar an hour boys like you take their trade out in luxury goodies, these saps feel.. well, they feel like saps. And they feel bitter and they feel vengeful and they feel WRATH. What
-You're out of your league, Marylin. Rexroth was a primate. I'm a professional.
-I know. So am I, right? And so is Agent Wilson of the Internal Revenue Service. He's a dedicated, underpaid graduate of Southwestern University -- very tenacious, and never more so than when he's dealing with an unscrupulous colleague. I think it's only fair to warn you: I'm going to file an action, Miles. And after a decent interval I plan to have Ruth
-Meaning my house.
-I believe the residence will be part of the settlement.
-Did our marriage ever mean anything to you?
-Drop the bogus forgery charge and I'll forget about your generous friends slash clients.
-That's blackmail.
-Hello?
-Marylin?
-Miles? Miles! Where have you been? I've been trying to get in touch.
-You have to leave the house immediately!
-I will, Miles. I will leave. But Miles --
-No buts. Now. Out.
-Just listen to me. I'm sorry, Miles. It's true that my initial intention was to...
-Please! Leave the house.
-I fell in love Miles.
-So did I. Now pack up a few basics and --
-It's a no go, Joe.
-Marylin!
-Wait! He works for YOU?
-Now. But first, he worked for you.
-You were going to have this thug...?
-Nonono. Marylin -- I'm your husband. I'd be entitled to Rex's money. No matter what happened to you.
-Marylin. Run. I'll distract him.
-Hello Marylin.
-Hello Miles.
-Hard to believe this is the way it will end up for us.
-It's not something I wanted either.
-But then -- I guess -- something inside me died when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me.
-You wounded me first, Marylin.
-Your forgetting Rex Rexroth?
-You're forgetting Howard Doyle?
-Forgery? Fraud?
-Income tax evasion?
-Murder?
-Murder!
-Pre-Castro.
-Sweet.
-Rex. Get away from the door.
-Look, Marylin, can't we have a civilized discussion about this?
-We are. And it's winding down.
-But Marylin, you know a divorce would ruin me right now. Everything I have -- everything we have -- is tied up in my business. The business is my entire life.
-Are you forgetting about the Atcheson, Topeka and the Santa Fe?
-Marylin?
-Rex. Go away. I don't want to have to sic the dogs on you.
-Hello, Rex.
-Marylin.
-Are you alright? You lost weight.
-Do you need a Tagamet?
-Have you been taking your digestive enzymes?
-I'm sorry. Where were we?
-I was devastated. Of course.
-Who's that?
-Is this a lover?
-Forgery and Fraud?
-You used his credit card.
-He told me to -- he said he wanted me to --
-Quite a little shopping spree. How do you spend six figures in less than six hours? Oh, never mind I've seen it before. I've seen everything.
-Do you think he set me up? Do you think that was his intention?
-Like I know his intention? Or yours for that matter? I should join Sam. I'm too old for this bullshit.
-He never even asked. He just assumed --
-He was right, wasn't he?
-So. Now what?
-You want to come out to the beach house tomorrow?
-I didn't know Barry had a beach house.
-She's a legend. Didn't she do Kravis or a Pearlman? She definitely did a Factor.
-She did a Harriman.
-Wow.
-Miles Massey.
-Of Massey Myerson?
-Do you know him?
-Who's she?
-Maybe.
-Please. I'm not seeing anyone until this is over. One husband at a time.
-I don't know what his game is. He dismissed every one of Ruth's proposals. And Sarah, we weren't unreasonable.
-Well what does he want?
-I don't know. Ruth kept her cool, but I could tell she was surprised.
-Lilly's up.
-Every week --
-Anyway, even Rex seemed perplexed by his intransigence. If I didn't know better, I'd swear Massey had some personal investment in my ruination.
-So where are you now?
-Well, if he continues to maintain this position -- we're in court.
-Shit.
-That stinks. They left you with absolutely nothing. It makes you wonder about the entire legal system. Like Rodney King.
-Nothing specific, but I'll have my own place soon.
-So, Marylin. Is that what you said when you were a little girl?
-You're not...
-Sarah Sorkin. Ramona Barcelona -- this is Miles Massey.
-But Marylin, without this, you're completely exposed.
-Is this Ming?
-I can't do this anymore. Let's get some lunch.
-What about rugs? I thought we were stopping at Mansour?
-What?
-He's not what I expected. He's very -- he's so -- happy.
-But you're going through with it?
-Yes, yes, it's just -- you know I've never been the first wife. Rex was married before me.
-So what?
-Miles is different. He's still so idealistic.
-Well, that's about to change big time.
-He has no cynicism or anger. For once I'm not the repository of rage at some other woman.
-Soon, you'll have your own rage!
--- is not a challenge. I need something I can sink my teeth into, professionally speaking.
-Wait. I know you.
-Yes?
-You're Miles Massey! You probably don't recognize me. The drugs made me put on weight and grow facial hair.
-Excuse me?
-Yes, I know Howard Doyle.
-Herb wants to see me?
-Mr. Massey --
-Please! No calls! I'm feeling very fragile.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Massey, but I felt certain you'd want to know -- Marylin Rexroth wants to see you.
-Marylin Rexroth? When does she --
-So, Ruth. How's Sam?
-Sam is Sam. He's taking up fly fishing. He's in a yert in Montana.
-What?!
-So, Miles. If you have a proposal, let's hear it.
-At this point my client is still prepared to consider reconciliation.
-My client has ruled that out.
-My client is prepared to entertain an amicable dissolution of the marriage without prejudice.
-That's delusional.
-My client proposes a thirty day cooling off period.
-My client feels sufficiently dispassionate.
-My client asks that you not initiate proceedings pending his setting certain affairs in order.
-Ha Ha.
--- So much for the icebreakers. What're you after, Ruth?
-My client is prepared to settle for fifty percent of the marital assets.
-Why only fifty percent, Ruth? Why not ask for a hundred percent?
-Oh brother. Here we go.
-Why not a hundred and fifty percent?
-Are you familiar with Kirshner?
-...arty farty!
-He divorced his wife -- he married Marylin -- he divorced Marylin -- and he -- remarried his WIFE? What kind of sick --
-Marylin was friends with Howard and Amanda Doyle. They don't like the way you operate. They helped her.
-He never ate the pre-nup, did he!
-I have no idea what Howard Doyle eats. I'm not a damn dietician.
-Did Marylin end up with money?
-She's YOUR wife. Why don't you ask her? Anyway, I assume she signed the highly over rated Massey pre-nup.
-...The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars...
-Don't give me that crap. That's MY crap.
-And it's good!
-I'll have you suspended. I'll have you disbarred.
-Don't threaten me, Miles. I did nothing illegal.
-...why did she do it, Ruth? Why?
-Where does that leave us?
-Mr. Rexroth.
-Rex, please.
-Miles Massey. Please sit, relax, and consider this office your office, your haven, your war room -- for the duration of the campaign.
-Thank you.
-...Well, my wife has me between a rock and a hard place.
-That's her job. You have to respect that.
-When I first met Marylin -- Well, we were crazy about each other. Not emotionally, of course. We just couldn't keep our hands off each other.
-Mm.
-Time marches on. Ardor cools.
-No. Not exactly. It didn't exactly cool. Marylin is a knock-out. And very sexy -- but -- there's a lot of it out there.
-Ah.
-You know what I mean when I say "it."
-Gotcha. No need to get anatomically correct with me, Rex.
-Seems like there's more of it than ever before --
-Well, with the expanding global population -- Let me ask you this -- your wife. Has she pursued the opportunities which must present themselves to the "knock-out, sexy woman" you described?
-I don't know. I can assume...
-Not in court you can't. Has she retained counsel?
-I'm not sure.
-And your wife is aware of or has evidence of your activities?
-Video.
-The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves. Well, let me ask you this: what kind of settlement do you seek? What are, for you, the parameters of the possible?
-That's the problem. I can't afford to give her anything.
-Nothing?
-I know that sounds rough but I'm about to close on a deal to develop some mini-malls, and I'm mortgaged up to my ass. If this deal goes south, I'm ruined -- I'll lose millions.
-So, you propose that in spite of demonstrable infidelity on your part, your unoffending wife should be tossed out on her ear?
-What's Kirshner?
-I think that went as well as could be expected.
-She always looked out for me.
-And she had private investigators assisting her.
-She brought my digestive enzymes.
-In anticipation of making you sick.
-Wait... He wants to give her...?
-Nothing.
-And she has...?
-Video.
-Wrigley!
-Sorry.
-Sometimes I have serious doubts about you.
-I am very sorry.
-Am I mentoring the wrong mentee?
-No. You're not.
-What the hell is wrong with you?
-I can't help it. Even with the business we're in, I -- it gets me every time. It's so -- optimistic.
-What do you think?
-What are they?
-Berry spoons.
-Spoons! Honestly Wrigley, I'm surprised at you. What is this? Some Martha Stewart suggestion? Those are the most cockamamie things I've ever --
-I'm sorry I'm late. I was having lunch with Ruth Rabinow's assistant. Guess what? Marylin Rexroth is divorced!
-HA!
-...and I hear she's richer than Croesus.
-Ah, but is she richer than Mrs. Croesus?
-She could buy and sell you ten times over.
-Get me Marylin Rexroth Doyle.
-What...?
-She owes me a meal.
-I'd stay away from her, Miles.
-Wrigley?
-Miles.
-Kenneth this is my associate, Wrigley. Wrigley this is my friend, Dr. Beck.
-The plastic surgeon! I read about you in LA Style.
-I tried to reach Ruth, but we couldn't get her.
-We wanted Ruth here for your protection as well --
-Yes. It's for your protection, sweetheart. You're the one with the -- the...
-Extinguish?
-Now, Mrs. Banderas. What is your relationship to Mrs. Rexroth.
-And how would you define your relationship to Mrs. Rexroth. You know -- you are her...?
-Hi, Sweetie.
-No. I haven't. But I've been out of town. Hello, Rex. Hello there.
-You were never invited to meet your son-in-law?
-Did you know Mrs. Rexroth was married?
-Let me tell you something about Patty.
-Who's "Patty."
-Oh. That's her name. Patricia. Like mine. I was Pat and she was Patty. But she changed it after seeing "Some Like It Hot." To Marylin. After Marylin Monroe.
-I see. And what were you going to tell us about Patty slash Marylin?
-Divorce was her childhood aspiration?
-I've been trying to nail George's for years, but he's very careful. I'll just keep having children. I think I'm pregnant, by the way.
-Ramona! Don't get Mia Farrow on us.
-Three is not Farrow.
-George was so impressed he hired him when he divorced his second.
-It's not so bad these days. Kids like joint custody. Two sets of toys.
-Thorstenson Gieselensen. He just separated from his third. He's in fish. He is fish.
-She's keeping his name. And one of his planes. And all seven of his children
-That doesn't make sense. It's like punishing you for being goal oriented.
-We can't do the impossible, Mr. Andrews.
-What I'm asking isn't impossible. My daughter is somewhere between here and Miami. I want her found!
-I've put extra men on, all along the way.
-It's not enough! Are you certain she's not with King Westley?
-No. He's been trailed twenty-four hours a day since this thing started. He can't even get a phone call we don't know about.
-Oh—Mary—
-Yes, sir?
-How is she?
-Why—uh—she's all right, sir.
-What's the matter? Anything wrong?
-Oh, no, sir. No different than—
-Yes. I know. Still in the dumps, huh?
-Can't you get them to go any faster? This dissolves to a deserted ROAD, Peter at the wheel of his car. His high spirits find expression in his efforts to sing.
-Yeah, but I don't like the idea of walking in on your jamboree . . . Just between you and me—those things give me a stiff pain.
-You needn't see anybody. You can come directly to my study. I'd appreciate it very much if—
-Mr. Warne?
-Yeah.
-I was surprised to get your note. My daughter hadn't told me anything about you. About your helping her.
-That's typical of your daughter. Takes those things for granted. Why does she think I lugged her all the way from Miami— for the love of it?
-Please understand me. When I say she didn't tell me anything about it, I mean not until a little while ago. She thinks you're entitled to anything you can get.
-Oh, she does, huh? Isn't that sweet of her! You don't , I suppose.
-don't know. I'd have to see on what you base your claim. I presume you feel you're justified in—
-I sold some drawers and socks, too; I'm throwing those in.
-And this is what you want—thirty- nine dollars and sixty cents?
-Why not? I'm not charging you for the time I wasted.
-Yes, I know—but—
-What's the matter? Isn't it cheap enough? A trip like that would cost you a thousand dollars!
-Let me get this straight. You want this thirty-nine sixty in addition to the ten thousand dollars?
-What ten thousand?
-The reward.
-Who said anything about a reward!
-I'm afraid I'm a little confused. You see, I assumed you were coming here for—
-All I want is thirty-nine sixty. If you'll give me a check I'll get out of this place. It gives me the jitters.
-You're a peculiar chap.
-We'll go into that some other time.
-The average man would go after the reward. All you seem to—
-Listen, did anybody ever make a sucker out of you? This is a matter of principle. Something you probably wouldn't understand. When somebody takes me for a buggy ride I don't like the idea of having to pay for the privilege.
-You were taken for a buggy ride?
-Here you are. Do you mind if I ask you something frankly? Do you love my daughter?
-A guy that'd fall in love with your daughter should have his head examined.
-That's an evasion.
-If you had half the brains you're supposed to have, you'd have done it yourself—long ago.
-Do you love her?
-A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her, without going nuts. She's my idea of nothing!
-I asked you a question. Do you love her?
-What's this about not eating?
-Know what my next move is? No more cigarettes.
-Why don't you put me in chains?
-I might.
-Come on, Ellie. Stop being silly. You know I'm going to have my way.
-I won't stand for it! I won't stand for your running my life! Why do you insist on it!
-You ought to know why. Because—
-Yes. I know. Because I'm your daughter and you love me. Because you don't want me to make any mistakes. Because—
-Because marrying that fool King Westley is—
-You're wasting your time. I'm already married to him.
-Smart, aren't you! So subtle.
-If Gandhi had a chef like Paul, it would change the whole political situation in India.
-You can't tempt me. Do you hear? I won't eat!
-Please. I can't fight on an empty stomach. Remember what Napoleon said.
-Where are you taking me?
-South America.
-South America!
-We leave Miami in an hour. Soon's we get some supplies aboard.
-You'll have a corpse on your hands! That what You'll have. I won't eat a thing while I'm on this boat.
-In that event, we won't need so many supplies.
-What do you expect to accomplish by all this? I'm already married!
-I'll get it annulled.
-You'll never do it! You can't do it!
-I'll do it if it takes every penny I've got. I'll do it if I have to bribe that musical comedy Justice of the Peace! I'll do it—if I have to prove that you were dragged in, staggering drunk. You probably were. Mmm—mmm. This filet mignon is divine!
-What've you got against King Westley?
-Nothing much. I just think he's a fake, that's all.
-You only met him once .
-That was enough. Do you mind handing me the ketchup?
-You talk as if he were a gigolo—or something.
-Never mind—I'll get it myself. Gigolo? Why, you took the word right out of my mouth. Thanks.
-He's one of the best fliers in the country. Right now he's planning a trip to Japan.
-You're going to finance him, I suppose.
-Your whole life is devoted to just one thing. To accumulate more money. At least there's romance in what he's doing.
-He's no good, Ellie, and you know it. You married him only because I told you not to.
-A time will come when you'll thank me for this.
-I won't thank you! I'll never thank you!
-Please don't shout.
-I'll shout to my heart's content! I'll scream if I want to.
-Ellie—
-Oh, hello, Dad.
-I knocked several times.
-Sorry. Must have been day-dreaming.
-Well, everything's set. Creating quite a furor, too. Great stunt King's going to pull.
-Stunt?
-Landing on the lawn in an autogyro.
-Oh, yes. I heard.
-What's the matter, Ellie? What's wrong?
-Nothing.
-You've been acting so strangely since you returned. I'm—I'm worried. I haven't bothered to ask you any questions—I— Isn't all this what you wanted? You haven't changed your mind about King, have you?
-Oh, no.
-If you have, it isn't too late. You know how I feel about him. But I want to make you happy. You gave me such a scare—I—when I couldn't find you. You know, the old pump isn't what it used to be.
-I haven't seen you cry since you were a baby. This must be serious. Where'd you meet him?
-On the road.
-Now, don't tell me you fell in love with a bus driver!
-No.
-Who is he?
-I don't know very much about him. Except that I love him.
-Well, if it's as serious as all that—we'll move heaven and earth to—
-It'll do no good. He despises me.
-Oh, come now—
-He despises everything I stand for. He thinks I'm spoiled and pampered, and selfish, and thoroughly insincere.
-Ridiculous!
-He doesn't think so much of you either.
-Well!
-He blames you for everything that's wrong about me. Thinks you raised me stupidly.
-Fine man to fall in love with.
-He's marvelous!
-Well, what are we going to do about it? Where is he?
-I don't know.
-I'd like to have a talk with him.
-It's no use, Dad. I practically threw myself at him.
-Well, under the circumstances, don't you think we ought to call this thing off?
-No, I'll go through with it.
-But that's silly, child. Seeing how you feel, why—
-Yes, I guess I have. I don't want to hurt anybody any more. I want to get away from all this front page publicity. It suddenly strikes me as being cheap and loathsome. I can't walk out on King now. It'll make us all look so ridiculous. Besides, what difference does it make? I'll never see Peter again.
-Is that his name?
-Peter Warne!
-Why? Do you know him?
-Oh, no—no.
-You haven't heard from him, have you, Dad?
-Why, no . . . Don't be silly.
-Looks like that was his only interest in me. The reward.
-I'm sorry you read it.
-Are you going to see him?
-I suppose so.
-I'll be going. Ellie swallows her drink and starts pouring herself another, as King enters.
-might have been able to help if it weren't for you. I've been watched so closely, I—
-Yes. I know. Well, you can help now. I issued a statement yesterday that I've withdrawn my objections. Begging her to come home. I haven't heard from her. Apparently she doesn't trust me.
-Why should she? After all—
-All right. That's why I sent for you. There's a room full of reporters out there. I want you to make a statement—that you've had a talk with me—that we've reached an understanding—that if Ellen comes home, I won't interfere with your marriage. Will you do that?
-If you really mean it, I will.
-On a hunger strike, huh? When'd she eat last?
-She hasn't had a thing yesterday—or today.
-Been sending her meals in regularly?
-Yessir. She refuses them all.
-Why didn't you jam it down her throat?
-It's not quite that simple. I've dealt with prisoners in my time, but this one—
-It's my daughter! Go after her.
-What a hell cat. No controlling these modern girls. They're terrible!
-Terrible! Nothing terrible about her. She's great! Marvelous youngster! Got a mind of her own. Knows just what she wants. She's not going to get it though. She won't get very far. Has no money.
-What about that diamond wrist watch she had on—she can raise some money on that?
-I haven't changed my mind, Westley, I want you to understand that! I don't like you! I never have! I never will! That's clear enough, isn't it?
-You've made that quite evident—with all your threats of annulment. Well, it hasn't bothered me for a minute. Ellie and I got married because we love each other. And she's proving it; as far as I'm concerned there's going to be no annulment.
-Why; naturally, I—
-Naturally. You're going to become a partner in a big institution. It's one of the largest in the world.
-You talk as if—
-Ellie? Oh, she's no responsibility.
-No? Say, listen—I've devoted a whole lifetime trying to tame that wildcat. Toughest job I ever tackled. Ever hear of J.P. Clarkson? Biggest man in the country, isn't he? Well, I tamed him . Got him eating out of the palm of my hand. I've browbeaten financiers, statesmen, foreign ministers—some of the most powerful people in the world—but I've never been able to do
-What would you like to have me do?
-Try. Do me a favor. Try. It's your only chance. And hers, too. Do that for me—and maybe we'll be friends— Maybe. Do we understand each other?
-Yes, sir.
-You thought that up all by yourself, huh?
-Why, it'll make all the front pages. A spectacular thing like that—
-Personally, I think it's stupid! But go ahead. Have a good time. As long as Ellie doesn't object.
-Oh, no. She'll be crazy about it. Well, see you later. I'm going out on the lawn and arrange for landing space. Goodbye.
-We've done that already.
-What happened?
-Here's another wire, sir. This one's from Charleston. "Checking every northbound train. Also assigned twenty operatives to watch main highways. No success yet. Will continue to do everything possible." Signed: Lovington Detective Agency, Charleston.
-Any others?
-Yessir. There's a report here from every State along the East coast. Want to hear them?
-What do they say?
-They're practically all the same, sir.
-Amateurs!
-Don't want to talk to—don't want to talk to anybody. Don't want to see anybody.
-But it's King Westley on the phone.
-Ooooooh. Hello my would-be ex-son-in-law. I've sent you a check for a hundred thousand. Yes. That's the smartest thing you ever did, Westley, not to contest that annulment. That's satisfactory, isn't it? Yeah. Well, it ought to be. Oh I'm not complaining. It was dirt cheap. Don't fall out of any windows.
-There's another wire from Peter, sir. They're in Glen Falls, Michigan.
-Never mind, son. She doesn't want it.
-We ain't ate nothin' since yestidday.
-What happened to your money?
-Ma spent it all for the tickets. She didn't know it was gonna be so much. We shouldn'a come, I guess, but Ma said there's a job waitin' for her in New York—and if we didn't go, she might lose it.
-Going without food is bad business, son. Why didn't you ask somebody?
-Me? Forget it, son. I got millions.
-Hey, hey, aren't you afraid you'll burn out a tonsil?
-Tonsil? Me? No! Me burn a tonsil? "My tonsils won't burn— As life's corners I . . .
-All right, let it go.
-No, thanks. We're not hungry.
-Oh, I see, young people in love are never hungry.
-No.
-Whadda you want!
-If you'll be good enough to remove those newspapers I'll have a seat.
-Okay! Okay! Keep your shirt on, young feller.
-What do you think you're doing!
-Huh?
-The papers! The papers! Whadda you mean throwin' 'em out!
-That's a long story, my friend. You see, I don't like sitting on newspapers. I did once and all the headlines came off on my white pants.
-Hey, whadda you tryin' to do—kid me?
-Oh, I wouldn't kid you . On the level, it actually happened. Nobody bought a paper that day. They followed me all over town and read the news from the seat of my pants.
-What're you gonna do about the papers? Somebody's gotta pick 'em up.
-It's okay with me. I'm not arguing.
-Fresh guy, huh! What you need is a good sock on the nose.
-Oh, yeah?
-Now, that's a brilliant answer. Why didn't I think of it? Our conversation could have been over long ago.
-Oh, yeah?
-Driver!
-Yeah?
-These seats accommodate two passengers, don't they?
-That storm sure made a mess outa these roads.
-Holy Smokes! You'll never get out yourself! Better phone for some help.
-I beg your pardon!
-Now, listen. I'm in a very ugly mood. I put up a stiff battle for that seat. So if it's just the same to you— scram.
-Tell that man not to drive so fast.
-Are you talking to me?
-I don't know what you're raving about, young man. And, furthermore, I'm not interested.
-Oh, my heavens! It's gone!
-Yeah. I knew you'd catch on eventually.
-What happened?
-That cadaverous-looking yegg who sat in front of us, just up and took it. Boy, how that baby can run!
-What am I going to do now?
-Don't tell me your ticket was in it?
-No, I've got that, all right. But my money. All I have here is four dollars. I've got to get to New York with it.
-You can wire home for some money when we get to Jacksonville.
-Why, no—I— Yes . . . I guess I will.
-I'll report it to the driver. About your bag, I mean.
-No. I'd rather you didn't.
-Don't be a fool. You lost your bag. The company'll make good. What's your name?
-I don't want it reported!
-Why, that's ridiculous! They're responsible for everything that—
-See here, can you understand English! I don't want it reported! Please stay out of my affairs! I want to be left alone. A CLOSE-UP of PETER shows him glaring after her.
-Oh, thank you. We're in Jacksonville, aren't we?
-Yes.
-That was foolish of me. Why didn't you shove me away?
-I hated to wake you up. How about some breakfast?
-Remember me? I'm the fellow you slept on last night.
-What's the matter? Wouldn't the old meanies wait for you? Say, how old are you anyway? Don't you know these busses work on a schedule? You need a guardian.
-Don't tell me you did it on my account! hope you're not getting any idea that what happened last night is— You needn't concern yourself about me, young man. I can take care of myself.
-You're doing a pretty sloppy job of it. Here's your ticket.
-My ticket?
-I found it on the seat.
-You'll never get away with it, Miss Andrews.
-What are you talking about?
-Just a spoiled brat of a rich man. You and Westley'll make an ideal team.
-Will you please tell me what you're raving about!
-You'll never get away with it, Miss Andrews. Your father'll stop you before you get half way to New York.
-You must have me confused with—
-Take my advice—grab the first bus back to Miami. That guy's a phony.
-I didn't ask for your advice.
-That's right. You didn't.
-You're not going to notify my father, are you?
-What for?
-If you play your cards right, you might get some money out of it.
-I never thought of that.
-Listen, if you'll promise not to do it, I'll pay you. I'll pay you as much as he will. You won't gain anything by giving me away as long as I'm willing to make it worth your while. I've got to get to New York without being stopped. It's terribly important to me. I'd pay now, only the only thing I had when I
-If you promise not to snap my head off, I'd like to thank you.
-Here, boy!
-What'd you do? Wire one of your friends for money?
-Of course I do. What do you mean—
-Beat it!
-A dollar sixty! . . . You had four dollars last night! How do you expect to get to New York at the rate you're going?
-That's none of your business.
-Now, just a minute—you can't—
-Hey, Brat—! The VIEW moves to the rear door of the bus. Ellie stands on the bottom step.
-Are you talking to me!
-Darn clever, these Armenians.
-Yeah. Yeah, it's a gift.
-I just had the unpleasant sensation of hearing you referred to as my husband.
-Oh, I forgot to tell you. I registered as Mr. and Mrs.
-Oh, you did? What am I expected to do—leap for joy?
-I kind of half expected you to thank me.
-Your ego is colossal.
-Chalk up one for your side. Now listen, you want to get to King Westley, don't you? All right, I'm here to help you. What I want is your story, exclusive. A day-to- day account. All about your mad flight to happiness. I need that story. Just between you and me I've got to have it.
-Now isn't that just too cute? There's a brain behind that face of yours, isn't there? You've got everything nicely figured out, for yourself, including this.
-This? Oh, that's a matter of simple mathematics. These cabins cost two bucks a night and I'm very sorry to inform you, wifey dear, but the family purse won't stand for our having separate establishments.
-Well, thank you. Thank you very much, but— you've been very kind.
-That, I suppose, makes everything—uh—quite all right.
-Do you mind joining the Israelites?
-You're not really serious about this, are you?
-I have an idiosyncrasy all my own. You'll notice my coat came first—then the tie—then the shirt—now, according to Hoyle,[5] the pants should come next. But that's where I'm different. go for the shoes first. After that I—
-Do you mind putting out the light?
-Who are you?
-Who, me? Why, I'm the whippoorwill that cries in the night. I'm the soft morning breeze that caresses your lovely face.
-You've got a name, haven't you?
-Yeah. I got a name. Peter Warne.
-Peter Warne? I don't like it.
-Don't let it bother you. You're giving it back to me in the morning.
-Pleased to meet you, Mr. Warne ...
-Here—
-What is it? Why, it's a toothbrush! Thanks. You—you had it pressed.
-Come on! Hurry up! Breakfast'll be ready in no time.
-Why, you sweet thing, you. Where'd you get it pressed?
-You'll find the showers—and things—right back of the second cottage.
-Outside!
-Certainly, outside. All the best homes have 'em outside.
-I can't go out like this.
-Like what?
-Like this. I have no robe.
-Where'd you say the showers—and things—were?
-Hey—you're little, aren't you?
-Where is the shower?
-Your hair's cute like that. You should never comb it.
-High time you got back.
-Very outspoken, too. Said I looked funny. Wasn't that cute?
-Hurry up and get dressed.
-Why, Peter! Don't you want to hear about our lovely friends?
-Well, I hope you're not going to dictate whom I can talk to.
-I know a couple of truck drivers I'd like to have you meet sometime. Come on, sit down.
-Thank you. My, my! Scrambled eggs.
-Egg. One egg—doughnuts—black coffee. That's your ration till lunch. Any complaints?
-Nope. No complaints.
-I'd have gotten you some cream but it meant buying a whole pint.
-Why, you don't have to apologize, Mr. Warne. You'll never know how much I appreciate all this.
-What makes you so disgustingly cheerful this morning?
-Must be the Spring.
-I thought maybe—uh—"believe you me" told you a couple of snappy stories.
-He apologized for last night. Said he didn't know we were married.
-Just shows you how wrong a guy can be. Doughnut?
-Thanks. You think this whole business is silly, don't you? I mean running away and everything.
-No. No. It's too good a story.
-Yes, you do. You think I'm a fool and a spoiled brat. Perhaps I am, although I don't see how I can be. People who are spoiled are accustomed to having their own way. I never have. On the contrary, I've always been told what to do and how to do it and where and with whom. Would you believe it? This is the
-Yeah?
-It's a wonder I'm not panic stricken.
-Um. You're doing all right.
-Thanks. Nurses, governesses, chaperones, even body-guards. Oh, it's been a lot of fun.
-One consolation; you can never be lonesome.
-It has its moments. It got to be a sort of game to try to outwit father's detectives. I—I did it once; actually went shopping without a body-guard. It was swell. I felt absolutely immoral. But it didn't last long. They caught up with me in a department store. I was so mad I ran out the back way and jumped into the first
-Santa Claus?
-King—King Westley was in it.
-Oh. Is that how you met him?
-Um-hm. We rode around all afternoon. Father was frantic. By 6 o'clock he was having all the rivers dragged.
-Say, where did you learn to dunk, in finishing school?
-Aw, now, don't you start telling me I shouldn't dunk.
-Of course you shouldn't. You don't know how to do it. Dunking's an art. Don't let it soak so long. A dip and plop, into your mouth. If you let it soak so long, it'll get soft and fall off. It's all a matter of timing. I ought to write a book about it.
-Thanks, professor.
-Just goes to show you. Twenty millions and you don't know how to dunk.
-Detectives!
-That's Father at work, What'll I do? Peter, what'll I do?
-Yeah. I got a letter from Aunt Betty. She says if we don't stop over at Wilkes-Barre she'll never forgive us.
-Don't get excited, Peter. They just asked a civil question.
-There you go again! How many times did I tell you to stop butting in when I have an argument?
-Well, you don't have to lose your temper!
-You don't have to lose your temper! That's what you told me the last time too. Every time I step in to protect you. At the Elk's dance[7] when that big Swede made a pass at you—
-Oh, so now I was drunk!
-Well, you were!
-I'm sorry I didn't take another sock at him.
-Yeah, and gotten yourself arrested!
-Aw, nuts! You're just like your old man! Once a plumber always a plumber! There isn't an ounce of brains in your whole family!
-Say, you were pretty good. Jumping in like that. Got a brain, haven't you?
-You weren't so bad yourself.
-We could start a two-person stock company. If things get tough—we can play some small town auditoriums. We'll call this one "The Great Deception."[8]
-Next week "East Lynne."
-After that "The Three Musketeers." I'd make a great D'Artagnan.
-How about Cinderella—or a real hot love story?
-No mushy stuff. I'm running this troupe.
-Oh, you are! Who made you the manager?
-I did! It was my idea, wasn't it?
-You always want to run everything.
-If you don't like it, you can resign from the company.
-I refuse to resign!
-I better go over and see her.
-Don't be silly. Nothing you can do. Must be tough on an old woman—a trip like this.
-Poor old Shapeley. You shouldn't have frightened him like that.
-At the rate he started, he's probably passed two state lines by this time. The exercise is good for him.
-Yes, I noticed he was getting a little fat lately. Ouch!
-What's the matter?
-I was never built for these moonlight strolls. Why did we have to leave the bus?
-First town we hit in the morning, you better wire your father.
-Not as long as I'm alive.
-Okay with me, if you can stand the starvation diet.
-What do you mean—starvation?
-It takes money to buy food.
-Why, haven't you—?
-Not a sou. I had some before the fainting scene.
-You didn't give that boy all your money?
-I didn't give him anything . You were the big-hearted gal. How about wiring your father now?
-Never! I'll get to New York if I have to starve all the way.
-Must be some strange power Westley has over you women. How do you expect to get there?
-To New York?
-Yeah.
-I'm following you.
-Aren't you afraid of me?
-No.
-I wish you'd stop being playful.
-Sorry. It's the first time I've ridden "piggy-back" in years.
-This isn't "piggy-back."
-Of course it is.
-You're crazy.
-remember distinctly Father taking me for a "piggy-back" ride—
-And he carried you like this, I suppose.
-Yes.
-Your father didn't know beans about "piggy-back" riding.
-My uncle—Mother's brother—had four children . . . and I've seen them ride "piggy-back."
-I don't think there's a "piggy- back" rider in your whole family. I never knew a rich man yet who was a good "piggy-back" rider.
-That's silly.
-To be a "piggy-backer" it takes complete relaxation—a warm heart—and a loving nature.
-And rich people have none of those qualifications, I suppose.
-Not a one.
-You're prejudiced.
-This looks like the best spot.
-We're not going to sleep out here, are we?
-Peter—
-If you're scared it scares the hunger out of you.
-Not if you're more hungry than scared.
-All right. You win. Let's forget it.
-I can't forget it. I'm still hungry.
-I'll get my clothes all wrinkled.
-Well, take them off.
-What!
-What's the matter?
-Oh, Peter—
-What's got into you?
-I wasn't gone more than a minute. Just went out to find you something to eat.
-know—but—
-Here. Eat your head off.
-I don't want it now.
-Thought you were hungry!
-was—but—
-But what!
-was so scared—that it scared—
-Sure.
-What?
-Nothing. Nothing you'd give two cents for.
-I am. I only work when I have to. Two years ago I got a notion and went to China. There was a war going on. Swell! After a while it got stale. I went down to Tahiti. Just lay on the beach for six months. What could be sweeter?
-What are you thinking about?
-By a strange coincidence, I was thinking of you.
-Really?
-Yeah. I was just wondering what makes dames like you so dizzy.
-What'd you say we're supposed to be doing?
-Hitch-hiking.
-If it's just the same to you, we'll sit right here till they come. Got a toothpick?
-No. But I've got a penknife.
-There it is. Better swallow it. We're not going to have any breakfast.
-Needn't rub it in. What're you eating?
-Carrots.
-Raw?
-Uh-huh. Want one?
-No!! It's a wonder you couldn't get me something I can eat.
-You don't think I'm going around panhandling for you. Best thing in the world for you—carrots. Had a tough time getting them. If that farmer ever caught me—goodnight!
-I wish you wouldn't talk too much. We let a car get away.
-What if nobody stops for us?
-Oh, they'll stop, all right. It's a matter of knowing how to hail them.
-You're an expert, I suppose.
-Expert! Going to write a book on it. Called the "Hitch-Hikers Hail."
-There's no end to your accomplishments.
-You think it's simple, huh?
-Oh, no!
-But the thumb always works. Different ways to do it, though. Depends on how you feel. For instance, number one is a short, jerky movement— That shows independence. You don't care if they stop or not. 'Cause you got some money in your pocket, see?
-Clever.
-Number two is a wider movement—a smile goes with that one—like this. That means you got a couple of brand new stories about the farmer's daughter.[12]
-You figured that all out yourself, huh?
-Oh, that's nothing. Now take number three, for instance. That's a pip. It's the pathetic one. When you're broke—and hungry—and everything looks black. It's a long movement like this— —with a follow through.
-Amazing.
-Here comes a car!
-Something must have gone wrong. I guess I'll try number two.
-I guess maybe I won't write that book after all.
-Yes. But look at all the fun you had. Mind if I try?
-You! Don't make me laugh.
-What're you going to do?
-You might give me a little credit.
-What for?
-I proved once and for all that the limb is mightier than the thumb.
-Why didn't you take all your clothes off? You could have stopped forty cars.
-What were you going to do? Gold dig him for a meal?[13]
-Why not? I'm hungry.
-Eat a carrot.
-Never! I'm going in and ask him—
-Oh, Peter! What happened? Are you all right?
-Come on—get in.
-Oh, you've been hurt! There's a cut on—
-Come on! come on!
-What happened?
-Just a road thief. Picks people up and runs off with their stuff. What a racket!
-What'd you give him for the car?
-You don't have to eat the carrots. Just passed a pond with some ducks in it.
-Any luck?
-Yeah. He finally agreed to let us have a room.
-What about money?
-Talked him out of it. He thinks we're going to stay a week. I'll have to think of something before morning.
-That's swell!
-I'm glad you think so. If you ask me, it's foolish. I told you there's no sense in our staying here tonight. We could make New York in less than three hours.
-I couldn't arrive in New York at three in the morning. Everybody's in bed.
-Yes. You'll have a great story, won't you?
-Thank you. Am I going to see you in New York?
-Nope.
-Haven't you ever wanted to fall in love?
-Me?
-Yes. Haven't you thought about it at all? Seems to me you could make some girl wonderfully happy.
-Better go back to your bed.
-I love you.
-You're forgetting you're married.
-I hope you got your money.
-You bet I did.
-Congratulations.
-Same to you.
-Why don't you stay and watch the fun? You'll enjoy it immensely.
-Compared to you, my friend, Shapeley's an amateur. Whatever gave you an idea you can get away with this! You're positively the most conceited—
-Hey, wait a minute! Let's get something straightened out right now. If you've any peculiar ideas that I'm interested in you, forget it. You're just a headline to me.
-I'll bet you're in an awful hurry to get back to New York, aren't you?
-ONE—TWO—THREE—FOUR—FIVE
-Why, you bully. I believe you would.
-—six—seven—eight—nine—
-Maybe I could jump out of the window. Do you think they'd see me?
-There's a man here to see you, Sweetheart.
-No, it isn't. I'm hungry and—and scared.
-You can't be hungry and scared at the same time.
-Comical part of it is, it isn't what you want at all. In a couple of weeks you'll be looking for the nearest exit . . . People like you spend all your life on a merry-go-round. I guess that's what makes you so dizzy. You're always chasing after something. At least you think you are. Truth is, you're just running away. From yourself,
-I just want to be let alone, that's all. Life's swell if you don't try too hard. Most people want to get a strangle-hold on it. They're not living. They're just feverish. If they didn't get themselves all balled up with a lot of manufactured values, they'd find what they want. Peace and calm. When you get right down to it, what's all the
-Is that the Walls of Jericho going up?
-No harm in your coming to see us.
-Not interested.
-How are you, Ellie? Are you happy?
-Happy? Why shouldn't I be happy? I'm getting the handsomest man in captivity. Here you are, King. Let's drink. Let's drink to us . We finally made it, didn't we?
-You bet we did.
-It's up to you now. I want our life to be full of excitement, King. We'll never let up, will we? Never a dull moment. We'll get on a merry-go-round and never get off. Promise you'll never let me get off? It's the only way to live, isn't it? No time to think. We don't want to stop to think, do we? Just want
-Whatever you say, darling.
-Where's the bus to New York?
-Left twenty minutes ago.
-Why, that's ridiculous! I was on that bus—I told them to wait!
-Eight o'clock tonight.
-Eight o'clock! Why, that's twelve hours!
-Here's your ticket, ma'am.
-Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. Here.
-Oh, thank you. Thank you.
-When does the bus leave?
-In about fifteen minutes.
-What's the matter? Where's your husband, young lady—
-Husband?
-Yes—if he is your husband.
-Isn't he here?
-No, he ain't! And the car's gone, too.
-Why, he'll be back.
-Why, you can't put me out in the middle of the—
-Serves you right. Oughta be careful who you take up with on the road. You can't go plyin' your trade in my camp.
-But can't you wait until morning—
-Can I use your telephone? I want to talk to New York.
-You made no mistake sitting next to me. Just between us, the kinda muggs you meet on a hop like this ain't nothing to write home to the wife about. You gotta be awful careful who you hit up with, is what I always say, and you can't be too particular, neither. Once when I was comin' through North Carolina, I got to gabbin'
-Seems to me you're doing excellently without any assistance.
-But I don't go in for that kinda stuff—much. I like to pick my fillies. Take you, for instance. You're my type. No kiddin' sister. I could go for you in a big way. "Fun-on-the-side Shapeley" they call me, and the accent is on the fun, believe you me.
-Hey, what's this? Wearing Papa's things? Now that's cute. That's what I call real lovey-dovey. Yessir.
-If you don't get out of here, I'll slap that fresh mouth of yours.
-Sorry—I didn't mean to—
-Get out!
-Do you mind taking those things off the Walls of Jericho? It's tough enough as it is.
-Oh, by the way—what's your name?
-I've been thinking about you.
-Yes?
-Hey—you not up yet? Come on—come on!
-What time is it?
-I'm hungry.
-The old man's screwy!
-What's 'at?
-I said, the old man's screwy!
-Yeah!
-The dame's too smart for him.
-What's up?
-Any of your passengers want a place to sleep—there's an auto camp up yonder a piece.
-Yeah? Where?
-Up yonder. See the lights?
-Yeah.
-That's it. Dyke's Auto Camp.
-Mr. Gordon—
-Huh?
-Did you know he reversed the charges on that call?
-Here's another wire from Peter Warne.
-Collect?
-Yes.
-Say, listen, you wouldn't know a story if it reached up and kicked you in the pants. Yeah? Sure, sure, I got your copy. Why didn't you tell me you were going to write it in Greek? I'd start a new department.
-That was free verse, you gashouse palooka!
-Free verse, huh? What the dickens was free about it? It cost this paper a gob of dough. Well, I'm here to tell you, it's not gonna cost us any more.
-That's okay by me! 'Cause as far as I'm concerned, I'm through with newspapers! See? I'm through with stupidity! I'll never write another newspaper story, for you or anybody else, if I have to starve. Yeah? What about my novel! When I get through with that—
-Get out of here!
-Wait a minute, Gordon—I—
-Joe, listen—
-Don't "Joe" me.
-Okay, Joe. Listen—you know I've always liked you. Anytime I could do you a great turn—anytime I ran into a story that looked good—I always came running to you, didn't I? Well, I got one now. Those wires I sent you were on the level. It's the biggest scoop of the year. I'm giving it to you, Joe.
-You mean about the Andrews' kid?
-A thousand dollars! Get out of this office before I throw you out bodily.
-Don't get sore, Joe. This is something you got to do for me. I need a thousand dollars—and I need it quick. I'm in a jam.
-What's the thousand bucks for?
-To tear down the Walls of Jericho.
-What!
-Never mind . . . Listen—suppose I should tell you that Ellen Andrews is going to have her marriage annulled.
-Huh?
-That she's going to marry somebody else.
-You're drunk.
-Would an exclusive story like that be worth a thousand bucks to you?
-If it's on the level.
-Well, I got it, Joe.
-Who's she gonna marry?
-It's all right here. Give me the thousand and it's yours.
-I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw that desk.
-Wait a minute, Joe. Use your bean. I couldn't afford to hand you a phoney yarn, like that. I'd be crazy. There isn't a newspaper in the country'd give me a job after that! I could go to jail!
-I'd put you there myself.
-Sure. I wouldn't blame you, either.
-Who's the guy she's gonna marry?
-I am, Joe.
-You!
-Yeah.
-Now I know you're drunk. I'm going home. Don't annoy me any more.
-I met her on a bus coming from Miami. Been with her every minute. I'm in love with her, Joe.
-Well, I'll be—
-Thanks, Pal. You saved my life.
-'Bye, Agnes. You're beautiful. All women are beautiful! Gordon is immediately electrified into action.
-Hello, Joe. Sorry. Just a little gag of mine. Thought I'd have some fun with you.
-Yeah. Sure. Had me going for a while.
-Wouldn't have made a bad story, would it?
-Great! But that's the way things go. You think you got a swell yarn—then something comes along—messes up the finish—and there you are.
-Yeah, where am I?
-When you sober up—come in and see me.
-All I'm asking is enough gas to get me to New York. The bag's worth twenty-five dollars.
-Yeah, but I got a bag. My wife gave me one for Christmas.
-Listen, man—I'll tell you what I'll do. When I come back in the morning, I'll buy it back from you and give you ten dollars profit? What do you say?
-ain't got a hat—
-What?
-I ain't got a hat.
-Funny couple, ain't they?
-Yeah.
-If you ask me, I don't believe they're married.
-They're married all right. I just seen the license.
-They made me get 'em a rope and a blanket, on a night like this.
-Yeah?
-What do you reckon that's for?
-Blamed if I know. I just brung 'em a trumpet.
-A trumpet?
-Yeah. You know, one of those toy things. They sent me to the store to get it.
-But what in the world do they want a trumpet for?
-You send telegrams here?
-I'm just fine thanks, and how are you? To "Joe Gordon, care of New York Mail, New York. Am I laughing. The biggest scoop of the year just dropped in my lap. I know where Ellen Andrews is—" No, do you really?
-Go on. Go on send the telegram.
-"How would you like to have the story, you big tub of—of—"
-Mush. Mush.
-"Tub of mush. Well try and get it. What I said about never writing another line for you still goes. Are you burning? Peter Warne." Well, that will be $2.60.
-Send it collect.
-Collect?
-There you go—trustin' people again. How many times did I tell you—
-He looked like an upright young feller to me, Ma.
-Yeah. They're all upright till they walk out on you.
-Said he was gonna stay a week.
-Mebbe.
-Worst comes to the worst, we got his car for security.
-I told you! I told you, you couldn't trust him! He's gone!
-Who?
-See that. They're gone!
-Looks like it, don't it? Here's the woman, ma.
-Then—you'll have to git !
-Not a minute!
-Better start gettin' into your clothes.
-Yeah.
-Zeke. Git!
-Well, you're two up on me now.
-Huh?
-There's a seat over there for you.
-What's the idea?
-I'd like to sit with my—uh—wife—if you don't mind.
-Wife?
-Yeah. Come on—come on!
-What's up?
-Looks like we're going to be stuck for a long time.
-Travelin' like this, you kinda lose track of what's goin' on in the world.
-Thanks.
-If you wanna get anywhere nowadays, you gotta keep in touch with all the news, is what I always say.
-That's right.
-Take that story there, for instance. Be kinda sweet if we could collect that ten thousand smackers.
-Yeah—wouldn't it?
-It's a lotta dough. If I was to run across that dame, you know what I'd do?
-What?
-I'd go fifty-fifty with you .
-Why?
-Cause I'm a guy that don't believe in hoggin' it, see? A bird that figures that way winds up behind the eight ball,[10] is what I always say.
-What's on your mind?
-Five G's—or I crab the works.
-Lucky thing, my running into you. Just the man I need.
-You're not making any mistake, believe you me.
-I can use a smart guy like you.
-Say listen, when you're talkin' to old man Shapeley, you're talking to—
-Do you pack a gat?[11] A CLOSE VIEW of the TWO shows the smile dying on Shapeley's face. He looks up quickly.
-Huh?
-A gat! A gat! Got any fireworks on you?
-Why—no—
-Yeah—the "big boy"—the Boss of the outfit.
-You're not kidnapping her, are you?
-What else, stupid! You don't think we're after that penny-ante reward, do you? Ten thousand bucks? Chicken feed! We're holding her for a million smackers.
-Say, look! I didn't know it was anything like this, see—and—
-What's the matter with you! Gettin' yellow?
-But I'm a married man. I got a couple of kids. I can't get mixed up with—
-Sh-sh-sh—! Soft pedal, you mug!—before I— What're you trying to do? Tell the whole world about it! Now listen, you're in this thing—and you're staying in! Get me? You know too much.
-I won't say anything. Honest, I won't.
-Yeah ?—How do I know? I gotta good mind to plug you. I shouldn't take any chances on you.
-Where do you live?
-Orange, New Jersey.
-Got a couple of kids, huh?
-Yeah. Just babies.
-You love them, don't you?
-Oh, gee, Mister—you wouldn't—you ain't thinkin' about—
-You'll keep your trap shut, all right.
-Sure—sure—I'll keep my trap shut. you can depend on me, Mister.
-If you don't—Ever hear of Bugs Dooley?
-No.
-Gee! That musta been terrible. I guess he had it coming to him though. But don't you worry about me. I don't talk. I never talk. Take my word for it. Gee, I wouldn't want anything to happen to my kids.
-Okay. Just remember that. Now beat it.
-Oh, thanks, thanks, Mister. I always knew you guys were kind-hearted.
-Come on, scram! And stay away from that bus.
-Boss, Oswald impersonators? Sounds like James Bond now.
-If this is Oswald, it must be our third Oswald.
-Susie, watch the language, would you please.
-I don't care if he was doing it with giraffes in the zoo, Numa, it's none of our business. Let's keep this side of it quiet, shall we?
-When you're in a war, boss, you use every weapon you got.
-The U.S. Attorney in Washington "declines" to serve our subpoena on Allen Dulles, Charles Cabell, CIA Director Richard Helms, or any FBI agent we named.
-Well, what do you expect from a pig but a grunt.
-William Walter, the night clerk on duty here in the FBI office, gave me a copy of this. It went all over the country. Nothing was done, and the motorcade went ahead on schedule - and this wasn't even mentioned in the Warren Report! Read it, Al.
-Gentlemen, I will not hear this. I value Bill as much as anyone here. We all need to make room for someone else's ideas, Lou, especially me. Maybe Oswald is what everyone says he is and I'm just plain dumb wrong.
-Why you keep dancing on my head for, my man? We been thicker'n molasses pie since law school.
-Because you keep conning me, Dean. I read your testimony to the Warren Commission and...
-There you go. Grain of salt. Two sides to every coin.
-You tell them the day after the assassination you were called on the phone by this "Clay Bertrand" and asked to fly to Dallas and be Lee Oswald's layer.
-Right.
-Now that's pretty important, Dean. You also told the FBI when you met him, he was six foot two. Then you tell the Commission he was five foot eight. How the hell did the man shrink like that, Dean?
-Yeah, she was pretty, all right, but not half as cute as you, Deano. You shoulda tried a legitimate line of business.
-You can't ever say crime don't pay in Louisiana, Jim - only not as good as it used to. Good chowder, ain't it?
-When did you first do business with this Bertrand?
-Oh, I first heard these street cats jiving about him back in '56, '57 when I lived down in the Quarter.
-Street cats?
-What was his voice like?
-You knew you weren't talking to some low life fag, you know. He had command of the king's English.
-Did he pay?
-Always - like tits on a pig. I wish I had a million of those bimbettes.
-And Oswald?
-Like I told to the Washington boys, Bertrand called that summer and asked me to help the kid upgrade his Marine discharge...
-So you saw Oswald how many times?
-Recall any names?
-Mario, Jose - they wear names like you and I wear clothes. Today the name is Candy, tomorrow it's Butsie. I wish I could help you, Jim.
-Did you speak to Oswald in Dallas?
-Hell, no! I told this Bertrand cat right off, this isn't my scene, man. I deal with muni court, I'm a hack in nigger town, that kid needs a hot dog.
-Then how the hell did you get in the Warren Commission, Dean? Except through the phone records in the Dallas jail?
-There were no phone records.
-Of course there weren't. 'Cause they disappeared. And yet the Commission found you, Dean.
-All this blubbering over that sonofabitch! They're grieving like they knew the man. It makes me want to puke.
-God's sake, chief. The President was shot.
-A bullshit President! I don't see any weeping for all the thousands of Cubans that bastard condemned to death and torture at the Bay of Pigs. Where are all the tears for the Russians and Hungarians and Chinese living like slaves in prison camps run by Kennedy's communist buddies - All these damned peace treaties! I'm telling ya Jack, that's what happens when you
-Chief, maybe you had a little too much to drink.
-Well, the kid musta gone nuts, right? I said Oswald must've flipped. Just did this crazy thing before anyone could stop him, right?
-I think I'll cut out here, chief. I gotta get home.
-Who'd ever thought that goofy Oswald kid would pull off a stunt like an assassination? Just goes to show, you can never know about some people. Am I right, Jack? Well, bless my soul. Your eyes are as red as two cherries, Jack. Don't tell me we have another bleeding heart here. Hell, all these years I thought you were on my side.
-Chief, sometimes I don't know whether you're kidding or not.
-Who the hell opened my files! You've been looking through my private files, haven't you, you weasel?
-You may not like this, chief, but you're beginning to act paranoid. I mean, you really are.
-You found out about Dave Ferrie going to Texas today and you went through all my files to see what was going on. You're a goddamn spy.
-Goddammit chief, why would I ever need to look in your files? I saw enough here this summer to write a book.
-I always lock my files. And you were the only one here today... What do you mean, you son of a bitch?
-Maybe there's more to this, Susie. The CIA's keeping something from our enemies.
-I don't know if it's coincidence, but Oswald had a top security clearance and knew about the U2 program from his days at Atsugi Air Base in Japan. Six months after he arrives in Russia, Francis Gary Powers' U2 spy flight goes down in Russia. That plane was untouchable. Powers hinted that Oswald could've given the Russians enough data to hit it. As a
-Susie, you're an assistant D.A., remember. Stick to what you can prove in court.
-Who?
-Grab your socks and pull... Clay Bertrand is Clay Shaw...
-Or a cover up! Jesus, Bill, don't you have enough proof of the FBI's complicity now?
-Bill.
-Hey, where y'at, Frank? You're wasting your time here. Big Jim gave strict orders. No FBI allowed.
-It's you I want to talk to, Bill.
-Boss would fry me in hog fat if he knew...
-Your boss got a serious problem, Bill. Real serious. We know what's been going on at your office
-Yeah, I guess you do.
-You've got nothin', Bill. I'm talking as a friend now. You're riding on the Titanic. Time to jump off before you get destroyed along with Garrison.
-Frank, I don't want to hear it.
-Who do you think fed him that information? Garrison's going down. We're talking your career here, Bill, your life. You're a young guy... we know you're working that Castro thing.
-No, I'm not...
-Correct me if I'm wrong. I thought we were on the same side. What the hell business is it of theirs to say that?
-What do you think, Lou?
-I'm just an investigator, Bill. I leave the theories to you lawyers.
-It's addressed to no one and no signature. "To leave this life is, for me, a sweet prospect. I find nothing in it that is desirable and on the other hand, everything that is loathsome."
-The fact is he's gone, chief, and so's our case.
-Not unless we go for Shaw now.
-Yeah. They were seen together in Clinton in early September. The Civil Rights Movement was running a voter registration drive.
-...rumor is Shaw, a local boy, was working on some arms deal to discredit the civil rights movement. No one really knows what they were doing there, but everyone sure saw 'em. They stood out like cottonballs. I got whites and blacks saw 'em, but last time I checked there was nothing illegal with registering to vote. We still got the Negro junkie, Vernon
-You know you keep saying that.
-Keep saying what?
-Clay Bertrand? Sure I know him. He comes around the Quarter.
-Who is he, Joe? I've been to every bar, no one wants to talk.
-I told your uncle I never met a lawman who wasn't a punk. You too, Bill, even if you're family. He's a big shot businessman. I seen him on the TV news a lot with all the other big shots. A fag, you know. Goes by another name down here.
-What's the other name?
-Shaw. Clay Shaw.
-Clay Bertrand is Clay Shaw? The guy who used to run the International Trade Mart?
-Yeah, what's the big mystery? Everybody down here knows the guy.
-So why does he call himself Bertrand?
-Clay Bertrand, Willie?
-Did he pay you for this?
-...there were about nine or ten people, Cubans, friends of Dave doing some stuff in the bush with him. Place was a mess. Dave's mind was a mess, Y'know he had all those mice cages around cause he's working on this cure for cancer... Dave's smart - real smart - speaks five languages, knows philosophy, medicine, military history, politics. He wanted to be a
-And that's where you met Oswald for the first time?
-Fuck, yes. Hell, I'm already in jail. I got no reason to lie to you. I ain't no nigger.
-Go on, Willie.
-Hold your horses. What kinda source?
-Morning, boys. Ready for a walking tour?
-At 7:30 Sunday morning? It's not exactly fresh blood we're sniffing here, boss.
-What the hell's a Communist like Lee Oswald doing working out of Banister's?
-Lord, wake me, please. I must be dreaming.
-Well, it's a terrific yard, Chief, but the man's an obvious alcoholic with a reputation lower than crocodile piss.
-Does that bother you, Bill? I always wondered in court why it is because a woman is a prostitute, she has to have bad eyesight.
-He'll never sign a statement, boss, let alone get on a witness stand.
-When something's rotten in the land, Bill, it generally isn't just one fish, we'll get corroboration... find this Clay Bertrand. If I were a betting man, I'd give you 10 to 1 it's an alias. Start checking around the Quarter.
-And the six of us, with almost no budget and in secret, are going to solve the case that the Warren Commission with dozens of support staff and millions of dollars couldn't solve. We can't keep up with the crimes in the Parish as it is, Chief.
-The murder of a President, Bill, is a crime in Orleans Parish too. I didn't pick you because of your legal skill, you know.
-I'm lost, boss. What are we saying here?
-We're saying that when Oswald went to Russia, he was not a real defector, that he was an intelligence agent on some kind of mission for our government and he remained one till the day he died, that's what we're saying.
-And therefore because Oswald pulled the trigger, the intelligence community murdered their own commander in chief. That's what you're saying!
-I'll go you one better! Maybe Oswald didn't even pull the trigger, Bill. The nitrate test indicates he didn't even fire a rifle on November 22nd. And on top of that, they didn't even bother to check if the rifle had been fired that day.
-He had his palm print on the weapon.
-But why?
-I still have to question what the legal basis is that supports this, boss. Susie's stuff is colorful, but...
-Can you get some sworn statements?
-That's gonna be tough. Nobody's talking.
-That's fine, Numa, but what about all the people who aren't writing letters. They're sitting home reading all these lies. I just heard NBC crew's in town to do a "White Paper" - not on the Kennedy killing, but on us. One of their top guys, Harry Stoner, is talking to everybody he can find about you, boss...
-Those bastards! That's proof enough right there of what we're up against. The whole goddamn Federal Government, Bill!
-Found another note, same thing, no name, no signature. "When you receive this, I will be quite dead, so no answer will be possible. I offered you love. All I got in return in the end was a kick in the teeth."
-All right, all right. Break it up.
-Where you going, boss?
-I don't buy it, chief - why would the FBI cover it up? You're talking the whole FBI here. A telex that disappears from every single FBI office in the country?
-Shaw's our toehold, Bill. I don't know exactly what he is, where he fits, and I don't care. I do know he's lying through his teeth and I'm not gonna let go of him!
-So for those reasons, you're going to trial against Clay Shaw, chief? Well, you're gonna lose! We should be investigating all our Mafia leads here in New Orleans - Carlos Marcello, Santos Trafficante - I can buy that a hell of a lot easier than the Government. Ruby's all Mob, knows Oswald, sets him up. Hoffa - Trafficante - Marcello, they hire some guns
-I don't doubt their involvement, Bill, but at a low level. Could the Mob change the parade route, Bill, or eliminate the protection for the President? Could the Mob send Oswald to Russia and get him back? Could the Mob get the FBI, the CIA, and the Dallas Police to make a mess of the investigation? Could the Mob appoint the Warren Commission to
-I know this, Bill - Lyndon Johnson got $1 billion for his Texas friends, Brown and Root, to dredge Cam Ranh Bay for the military in Vietnam. That's just for openers.
-Boss, are you calling the President a murderer?
-If I'm so far from the truth, why is the FBI bugging our offices? Why are our witnesses being bought off and murdered? Why are Federal agencies blocking our extraditions and subpoenas when we were never blocked before?
-With a full-blown conspiracy to cover it up? Y'ever read your Shakespeare, Bill?
-Yeah.
-Julius Caesar: "Brutus and Cassius, they too are honorable men." Who killed Caesar? Twenty, twenty-five Senators. All it takes is one Judas, Bill - a few people, on the inside, Pentagon, CIA...
-What's it look like, Nick?
-Nick, what would happen if a man suffering from hypertension were to take an entire bottle of Proloid?
-He'd die pretty quick, either a heart storm or a ruptured blood vessel in the brain.
-Can you ascertain if there's Proloid in his system?
-Not in a routine autopsy, but if we looked at the spinal fluid, there might be a high level of iodine, but it's difficult to know. Whatcha thinkin', Jim?
-Well, it doesn't make sense, Nick - he was afraid of dying, then he kills himself in a way that leaves no trace, but he leaves two unsigned suicide notes.
-Mr. Goldberg, you claim you met David Ferrie and Clay Shaw while on a vacation here from your accounting business in New York, you had drinks and, under the influence discussed killing Kennedy, is that not so?
-I did.
-Why?
-Well, I wanted to make sure she's the same girl I sent.
-I see... and why are you experiencing this paranoia?
-...Oswald?
-No, I did not.
-...ever called Dean Andrews?
-No, I did not.
-...and have you ever met David Ferrie?
-No, I would not even know what he looked like except for the pictures I've been shown.
-...did you ever use the alias Clay Bertrand?
-No, I did not.
-You know damn well who it is.
-Dave?
-Yeah, you got it. Since you're the only straight shooter in that fuckin' office, I'd like an answer from you. Did you plant it?
-Somebody planted that fucking story! And somebody tipped off the press I'm one of Garrison's fucking suspects. I can't go home. I'm out on the street. The maggots are everywhere! Do you know what you've done to me? It's all over the national news now. You know what you've done to me?
-Calm down, Dave, what?
-I'm a dead man! From here on, believe me, I'm a dead man.
-What are you talking about, Dave? You weren't mentioned in the story. Don't jump to conclusions.
-You think your investigation's been all that secret? You know, when you talk to people, they talk to other people.
-What did they...
-You still questioning any Cubans?
-Dave, you know that's where this road leads.
-It leads farther than that.
-Dave, just calm down. Meet me in the lobby of the Fontainbleau in 20 minutes. I'll have a suite reserved for you under an assumed name.
-The Fontainbleau? 20 minutes?
-Yeah. Come on, Dave, come on our side. I guarantee you the boss'll protect you... Dave?
-...give me protection?
-Yeah! He'd kill for you Dave. He likes you. Your mind.
-I'm caught in the middle. They're after me. It's almost over.
-Listen, Dave, why don't we order some room service, have a bite, relax. I'll stay as long as you want.
-Dave, I always play square. No bugs. I'd love you to go on the record, but I"m in no hurry. Whenever you're ready.
-I don't have much time. They don't even need bugs anymore. They got these fuckin' satellite waves. They put a bug in a friend of mine when he was born, right up his nostrils, subcutaneous, between his eyes. He was one of those products of a crossbreading experiment. A Nazi rocket scientist father and a Commie spy mother. You'd never believe half the shit
-Did we involve you, Dave, or did Clay Shaw?
-That cocksuckin' faggot! He's got me by the balls.
-What do you mean?
-What about the mob, Dave? How do they figure in this?
-Come in, Dave. Have a seat, make yourself comfortable. Coffee?
-Do you remember me, Mr. Garrison? I met you on Carondolet Street right after your election. I congratulated you, remember?
-Do you mind if I smoke, Mr. Garrison?
-How could I? Dave, as you know, President Kennedy was assassinated on Friday. A man named Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested as a suspect and then was murdered yesterday by a man named Jack Ruby. We've heard reports that Oswald spent the summer in New Orleans and we've been advised you knew Oswald pretty well.
-That's not true. I never met anybody named Oswald. Anybody who told you that has to be crazy.
-But you are aware, he served in your Civil Air Patrol unit when he was a teenager.
-No... if he did, I don't remember him. There were lots of kids in and out... y'know.
-I'm sure you've seen this. Perhaps you knew this man under another name?
-No, I never saw him before in my life.
-Well that must've been mistaken information we got. Thanks for straightening it out for us. There is one other matter that's come up, Dave. We were told you took a trip to Texas shortly after the assassination of Friday.
-Yeah, now that's true. I drove to Houston.
-What was so appealing about Houston?
-I hadn't been there ice skating in many years, and I had a couple of young friends with me, and we decided we wanted to go ice skating.
-Dave, may I ask why the urge to go ice skating in Texas happened to strike you during one of the most violent thunderstorms in recent memory?
-Oh, it was just a spur of the moment thing... the storm wasn't that bad.
-I see. And where did you drive?
-We went straight to Houston, and then Saturday night we drove to Galveston and stayed over there.
-Why Galveston?
-No particular reason. Just to go somewhere.
-And then Sunday?
-In the morning we went goose hunting. Then headed home, but I dropped the boys off to see some relatives and I stayed in Hammond.
-Did you bag any geese on this trip?
-I believe the boys got a couple.
-But the boys told us they didn't get any.
-Oh yes, well, come to think of it, they're right. We got to where the geese were and there were thousands of them. But you couldn't approach them. They were a wise bunch of birds.
-Your young friends also told us you had no weapons in the car. Dave, isn't it a bit difficult to hunt for geese without a shotgun?
-Yes, now I remember, Mr. Garrison. I'm sorry, I got confused. We got out there near the geese and it was only then we realized we'd forgotten our shotguns. Stupid, right? So of course we didn't get any geese.
-I see. Dave thank you for your time. I'm sorry it has to end inconveniently for you, but I'm going to have you detained for further questioning by the FBI.
-Why? What's wrong?
-Leon's in a bad mood, don't get excited, he's all right.
-You mean about the Cubans getting trained north of the lake?
-Oh, you got that? Banister's pet project. Getting paid by the government to work against the government. Beautiful. What a mind he had, what a guy, Guy. He had all those files.
-Who was paying you, Dave?
-You think I was a getaway pilot for the assassination, don't you?
-I don't know. Were you? Who you scared of, Dave?
-Let me get this straight, now. Clay Shaw is blackmailing you?
-Was it the same Oswald, Dave, that was in Dallas, or was it an impersonator.
-Did you take a good look at the TV when they had Oswald?
-Black, black - just give it to me. Shit. I'm so exhausted. My neck is killing me. I've got cancer. Had it for years. I been working with mice, y'know, trying to come up with a cure.
-Dave, can I just ask you this directly? Did you ever work for the CIA?
-You make it sound like some remote fuckin' experience in ancient history. Man, you never leave the Agency. Once they got you, you're in for life.
-And Shaw?
-Shaw's an "untouchable", man - highest clearance. Shaw, Oswald, the Cubans - all Agency.
-What about Ruby?
-Then who killed the President?
-Shit! Forgot to glue this fuckin' rug today. You know, at one time I even had a full head of hair like everyone else. And then I lost that. That fuckin' Clay Shaw. I hate the bastard. All I got left is in his rotten, bloody hands. He tipped the newspapers - I know it. That's how the Agency works. They use people, chew
-They'll get to you, too - they'll destroy you... They're untouchable, man... I'm so fucking exhausted I can't see straight.
-Get some rest, Dave, and you'll feel better in the morning. We'll talk then.
-Colonel Finck, are you saying someone told you not to dissect the neck?
-I was told that the family wanted examination of the head.
-As a pathologist it was your obligation to explore all possible causes of death, was it not?
-I had the cause of death.
-Your Honor, I would ask you to direct the witness to answer my question. Why did Colonel Finck not dissect the track of the bullet wound in the neck?
-I don't remember his name. You must understand it was quite crowded, and when you are called in circumstances like that to look at the wound of the President who is dead, you don't look around too much to ask people for their names and who they are.
-But you were a qualified pathologist. Was this Army general a qualified pathologist?
-No.
-But you took his orders. He was directing the autopsy.
-No, because there were others. There were admirals.
-There were admirals.
-I'm going to have to ask the jury to leave the courtroom.
-Jesus, Ed, from time immemorial it's been standard booking procedure to ask an alias. You know that. There's no constitutional requirement that says a lawyer has to be present for routine questions.
-I call'em as I see'em, Jim. I'm ruling it inadmissible.
-That's our case!
-If that's your case, you didn't have a case. I wouldn't believe whatever Habighorst said, anyway.
-I can't believe you're saying this in the courtroom.
-Daddy said it was all right if I was real quiet.
-Dad, look what I drew.
-That's something, Jasper. What is it?
-Daddy! Where have you been?
-Are we going away, Daddy?
-Well, it looks like it, Jasper.
-Because of Kennedy? Are the same people gonna kill us, Daddy?
-I'm scared.
-He asked me why I thought I was in danger and I said:
-Well if they can kill the President, they can certainly get me.
-That doesn't make sense, Mrs. Hill. We have the man that killed the President.
-No, you don't!
-He kept trying to get me to change my story about the shots. He was getting hot under the collar, and telling the woman not to write when he wanted.
-Look, do you want the truth, or just what you want me to say?
-I want the truth.
-The truth is that I heard between four and six shots. I'm not going to lie for you.
-...you heard echoes.
-No. I had guns all my life. I used to go turtle shooting.
-I realize you're under a great deal of stress .. it's clouded your judgement.
-So off the record, he starts talking about my family, and even mentioned my marriage was in trouble like I didn't know it or something. He got angrier and angrier and then:
-Look, we can put you in a mental institution. We can make you look crazier'n Marguerite Oswald, and everybody knows how crazy she is.
-These new people never identified themselves. They musta been watching the whole thing 'cause they knew everything Mary and me had been doing that day. I guess I wasn't too hard to find - wearing that red raincoat.
-How many shots you say you heard?
-Four to six.
-That's impossible. You heard echoes ...echoes. We have three bullets and three shots which came from the Book Depository and that's all we're willing to say.
-...which is strange 'cause this is less than 20 minutes after the assassination.
-No, I saw a guy shooting from over there. He was behind that fence. What are you going to do about it?
-We have that taken care of. You only heard three shots and you are not to talk to anyone about this. No one, you hear?
-If we go to him our investigation'll hit the front pages by sunrise. Blow up right in our face. Ruby was just given a new trial. If he has something to say, it'll be there. Susie, what did you find out on Oswald?
-Finally they shuttle him to a radio factory in Minks where he lives as high on the hog as he ever has - he's given 5,000 rubles, a roomy apartment with a balcony, has affairs with local girls.
-Makes sense - he's a spokesman.
-Don't get sidetracked! How does he get back to the States? That's the point. Does he have any problems?
-None! The State Department issues him a new passport in 48 hours and loans him the money to travel. He's never investigated or charged by the Navy for revealing classified information or, as far as we know, debriefed by the CIA.
-This is a man whose secrets cause us to change our radar patterns in the Pacific! He should've been prosecuted as a traitor!
-The FBI finally gets around to talking to him in Dallas and runs a file on him as a miscreant Communist type.
-Spas T. Raikin, a leading member of an anti-Communist group.
-And Marina? Does she have a problem getting out?
-None either. It's bizarre. It's next to impossible to get Russian sweethearts out. Nor does Lee have any problem getting a new passport when he wants to go to Cuba and Russia in '63. A man who has defected once already. It's crazy.
-The next thing we know he's living in Dallas/Ft. Worth in October '62 working 6 months at Jaggars-Chiles- Stovall, a photographic firm that contracts to make maps for the U.S. Army... He starts work only days before the government reveals Russian missiles in Cuba and the crisis explodes. Oswald may have had access to missile site footage obtained by the U2 planes and works
-Sort of like Benedict Arnold coming back to George Washington's cabinet.
-The Oswalds are introduced by George de Mohrenschildt to Janet and Bill Williams. It's through Janet Williams in October '63 that Lee gets the warehouse job, right smack on Elm Street at the Book Depository, which is owned by another oilman with ties to defense and military intelligence.
-All I can find out about the Williams' is their tax returns are classified and that Bill Williams, a descendant of the Cabots of Massachusetts, has links through his family and United Fruit to the CIA and does classified work for Bell Helicopter which requires a security clearance - so what is Oswald, a defector, doing visiting his wife in his house? Williams has
-...now it gets positively spooky. In January, 1961 - in New Orleans, at the Bolton Ford Dealership - when the Oswald we know is in Russia - there is a man using the name "Oswald" to buy trucks for the Friends of Democratic Cuba. The salesman never saw him again, but guess who's on the articles of incorporation of the Friends of Democratic Cuba?
-I don't believe it!
-I think Clinton is a breakthrough. Shaw denies he knows Ferrie or Oswald. Is that right? It proves he's a liar. Keep on it, Bill.
-Aren't you being a little hard?
-I'm sorry.
-I'm not sure I understand.
-Well... in an investigation we're conducting your name has come up a number of times.
-I wouldn't imagine where.
-We recently talked to a number of men who claim to know you. Are you acquainted with a David Logan?
-No. Never heard of him.
-A Perry Russo?
-No.
-A Willie O'Keefe?
-No, I don't believe I know anyone by that name.
-Perhaps a few more details about the evening will refresh your memory. Mr. O'Keefe told us dinner was served by a uniformed waiter - a colored man. He particularly remembers that you sat at one end and he at the other - which he found rather unusual because the table was so long. Does that bring back memories of Willie O'Keefe?
-Not at all. But on the other hand, I do have a lovely Chippendale dining table and I often have a friend over sitting at one end while I sit at the other. That is precisely the point of a long dining table. The splendor of the meal adds to the enjoyment of it.
-I would imagine a uniformed waiter helps.
-After dinner you paid him to have sex with you.
-Pffft! Absolute nonsense. The Quarter is filled with vivid imaginations, my dear Mr. Garrison - grimy young hoodlums who'll say and do anything. As you well know.
-Who?
-David Ferrie.
-No. I have never known anyone by that name. Of course never having met Mr. O'Keefe I could hardly have met Mr. Ferrie...
-Let me show you his picture.
-No. I'm sure I've never met anyone of such a bizarre appearance.
-Does the name Clay Bertrand mean anything to you?
-Clay Bertrand? Clay Bertrand? I believe there was a man with a name similar to that who worked at the Chamber of Commerce. Is that the man you had in mind?
-No, it was not. Do you know an attorney by the name of Dean Andrews?
-Mr. Shaw, can you identify this man?
-Naturally. Are you claiming, Mr. Garrison, that Mr. Oswald also had dinner with me?
-Mr. Shaw, did you ever meet Lee Harvey Oswald?
-You really have me consorting with a cast of sordid characters, don't you, Mr. Garrison.
-Please answer the question.
-Mr. Shaw, this is an Italian newspaper article saying you were a member of the Board of Centro Mondo Commerciale in Italy, that this company was a creature of the CIA for the transfer of funds in Italy for illegal political-espionage activities. It says that this company was expelled from Italy for those activities.
-I'm well aware of this asinine article. And I am thinking very seriously of suing this rag of a newspaper.
-It says that this company has heavily Fascist ties to the French secret army organization that tried to assassinate de Gaulle in 1960.
-Nonsense. What next?
-...and that this company is linked to the Schlumber tool company here in Houma, Louisiana - which is where their arms may have come from to David Ferrie and his Cubans...
-Mr. Garrison, you're reaching. I am an international businessman. The Trade Mart which I founded is America's commercial pipeline to Latin America. I trade everywhere. I am accused, as are all businessmen, of all things. I somehow go about my business, make money, help society the best I can and try to promote free trade in this world.
-And if I was, Mr. Garrison... do you think I would be here today... talking to somebody like you?
-No, people like you don't have to, I guess - people like you walk between the raindrops.
-May I go? Regardless of what you may think of me, Mr. Garrison, I am a patriot first and foremost.
-I've spent half my life in the United States military serving and defending this great country, Mr. Shaw, and you're the first person I ever met who considered it an act of patriotism to kill his own president.
-In the sheriff's report, Mrs. Mercer, it says you were at Dealey Plaza two hours before the assassination but that...
-You mean you identified him on Saturday, the day before Ruby shot Oswald?
-That's right. When I saw him on TV, I was shocked. I said to my family, "that was the man I saw in the truck."
-But you didn't seem nearly so sure in your statement to the Warren Commission.
-This says "Mercer could not identify any of the photographs as being identical with the person she had observed slouched over the wheel of a green Ford pickup truck." That's not true. I recognized him and I told them so... They also said it was a dark green air conditioning truck, which it was not. And here... ...on the Dallas Sheriff's report. This is
-Mrs. Mercer, as a former FBI man, it's difficult to accept this.
-Jim, dinner's just about ready... I've got a surprise for you... tried something new... Jim? Jim, dinner.
-Mmmmm... sure smells good... but Egghead, do you realize Oswald was interrogated for twelve hours after the assassination, with no lawyer present, and nobody recorded a word of it? I can't believe it. A police captain with 30 years experience and a crowd of Federal agents just had to know that with no record anything that Oswald said would be inadmissible in court.
-I can't believe a man as intelligent as Earl Warren ever read what's in those volumes.
-One hour, y'hear? Some Saturday night date you are. Mama warned me this would happen if I married such a serious man.
-Honey, you all right?
-It's incredible, honey - the whole thing. A Lieutenant Colonel testifies that Lee Oswald was given a Russian language exam as part of his Marine training only a few months before he defects to the Soviet Union. A Russian exam!
-I cannot believe this. It's four- thirty, Jim Garrison. I have five children are gonna be awake in another hour and ...
-Honey, in all my years in the service I never knew a single man who was given a Russian test. Oswald was a radar operator. He'd have about as much use for Russian as a cat has for pajamas.
-These books are getting to your mind, Mr. Garrison. I wish you'd stop readin' them.
-And then this Colonel tries to make it sound like nothing. Oswald did badly on the test, he says. "He only had two more Russian words right than wrong." Ha! That's like me saying Touchdown here... ...is not very intelligent because I beat him three games out of five the last time we played chess.
-Jim, what is going on, for heaven's sake! You going to stay up all night every night? For what? So you'll be the only man in America who read the entire 26 volumes of the Warren Report?
-Liz, do I have to spell it out for you? Lee Oswald was no ordinary soldier. That was no accident he was in Russia. He was probably in military intelligence. That's why he was trained in Russian.
-Honey, go back to sleep, please!
-Do you have any evidence against him, Jim? Clay Shaw's done so much for the city with all that restoration in the Quarter. He's well connected, all his friends, the money, people, be careful, Jim.
-Jim, come on, honey, get down on your hands and knees and hunt for Jasper's Easter egg.
-No. I told you I was going to talk to Shaw.
-But why in the Lord's name would you do it in the middle of Easter Sunday when you knew we were...
-Because when I scheduled it I didn't realize it was a holiday. You were there, why didn't you say something?
-Look at the calendar, for Christ's sake. You said a Sunday, not Easter Sunday.
-I'm sorry, but it's important. Clay Shaw is important. I'm sorry.
-You're missing most of your life, Jim, and you don't even know it. The kids are missing out too. It's not just you making the sacrifice here, honey.
-Hi.
-Tough day.
-My sympathies.
-Liz, I'm really sorry. The meeting went much longer than expected.
-We waited for you... hours, Jim. You could have telephoned, for God's sake. It's Easter! You promised, Jim.
-I don't know what to say except I'm sorry. I just don't have rabbits on my mind.
-I think you care more about John Kennedy than your family! All day long the kids are asking, "Where's Daddy?" What am I supposed to tell your kids, Jim!
-I don't know what to tell them. How 'bout the truth - I'm doing my job to make sure they can grow up in a country where justice won't be an arcane, vanished idea they read about in history books, like the dinosaurs or the lost continent of Atlantis.
-That sounds dandy, but it doesn't replace a father and a husband on Easter Day.
-Did they live?
-It's not funny, Jim, I'm scared.
-Nothing is going to happen to you. I won't let it.
-Did you enter Virginia into a beauty contest?
-What?
-Honey, some crackpot. Martin Luther King was killed in Memphis today!
-Your daughter's life was just threatened!
-Just a crank making phone calls. Happens a dozen times a day at the office.
-Our home, Jim! A kidnapper, a murderer, who knows!
-Only cowards make crank calls, sweetheart, nothing is going to happen.
-How do you know? How do you even know what goes on in this house anymore! You're too busy making speeches, stirring up every crazed Klansman in Louisiana after us!
-Get a hold of yourself.
-Honey, come on. The government wants you to be scared. They want everybody to be scared to speak out. They count on it. But there's nothing to be scared of.
-I'll take them up to my mother's if it'll make you feel better. Spend a week. I'll change the locks, the phone lines, I'll even get a bodyguard, all right? Elizabeth, get a hold of yourself.
-Jim, before this Kennedy thing, nothing mattered to you in this life more than your children. The other night Jasper tried to show you a drawing. You didn't even notice he was there. He came to me bawling his little eyes out. Jim, he's sensitive - he needs more from you.
-I promise I'll make more time for Jasper.
-Is it such a chore? I don't understand you.
-Damn it, if I say I'll spend more time with him, I'll spend more time with him. I can't fight you and the world too, Liz.
-I'm not fighting you, Jim, I'm just trying to reach you. You've changed.
-Of course, I've changed! My eyes have opened, and once they're open, believe me, what used to look normal seems insane! And now King. Don't you think this has something to do with that? Can't you see?
-I don't want to see, goddammit! I'm tired. I've had enough! They say you don't have anything anyway! Everybody in town's talking. You're ruining this man Shaw's life! You're attacking him because he's homosexual! Going ahead with this stupid "trial"! Did you ever once stop and consider what he's going through?
-That's not why I'm attacking him! You don't believe me - all this time you never believed me.
-Well so do I, goddammit! So do I! I had a life too, y'know - I had a life, too. But you just can't bury your head in the sand like some ostrich, goddammit, Elizabeth! It's not just about you - and your well- being and your two cars and your kitchen and your TV and "I'm jes fine honey." While our kids grow
-And if you're wrong?
-I never doubted for a second that I was. Will you come to the trial, Elizabeth?
-They killed him, honey.
-Huh?
-He won... and they killed Robert Kennedy. They shot him down.
-I want to thank you, Mr. O'Keefe, for this time.
-For sexual purposes?
-Anything else unusual about him you'd be able to describe in a court of law, Willie?
-Willie, are you willing to repeat your statements under sodium pentothal? Under the supervision of a doctor?
-Fuck, yeah! I told you so. And you can tell'em all I told you so.
-You realize the things you're saying, Willie, are going to be attacked by a lot of different people.
-Bring on all the motherfuckers! Bring their college degrees in here! I got nuthin' to hide. They can't buy me. You can't buy me. I don't even need the parole. This is about the truth coming out. You're a goddamn liberal, Mr. Garrison, you don't know shit, cause you never been fucked in the ass. Fascism is here now, Facism is...
-No one's trying to buy you, Willie. It's important to know why you're telling us this.
-What's wrong, Lou?
-Oh no!... How bad?
-One little guy with a cheap rifle - look what he can do.
-I know David - a strange character.
-Remember whose office this was back in '63? 531 Lafayette Street.
-I'd say he was probably getting intelligence training.
-Lou, you were in the Marines. Who would be running that training?
-The Office of Naval Intelligence.
-Post Office.
-Upstairs. In 1963 that was the Office of Naval Intelligence - And just by coincidence, Banister, before he was FBI, was ONI. What do they say?
-Bill, Lou, we're standing in the heart of the United States Government's intelligence community in New Orleans. That's the FBI there, the CIA, Secret Service, ONI. Doesn't this seem to you a rather strange place for a Communist to spend his spare time?
-What are you driving at, boss?
-They took 'em to the Sheriff's office, not the police station, and they let 'em go. No record of them ever being questioned.
-I can't say that comes as a surprise anymore.
-...take a good look, chief, do any of 'em look like the hoboes you remember?
-Hoboes I knew of old used to sleep in their clothes - these two look pretty young.
-Graveyard dead. August this year. A single car accident on an empty road in Midlothian, Texas. The doctor said he was in some kind of strange shock when he died.
-We need to find more witnesses, Lou.
-Can we find her?
-I never could figure out why this guy orders a traceable weapon to that post office box when you can go into any store in Texas, give a phony name and walk out with a cheap rifle which can never be traced.
-Mobbed up all the way. Tight with the Dallas cops. I'm digging, chief. I just need 10 more men and some more dollars.
-Goddamn Sam!
-You don't get it, guys - he can't go down any further. We got to protect him full time.
-I have a plane to catch... going to Washington. An interesting lead, says he's closely connected to these events, but he won't come down here... I know what you're going through with Ferrie, Lou. We'll talk tomorrow.
-I took it once for a low thyroid condition... It raises the metabolism, Lou. Did David Ferrie strike you as the kind of person who had a low metabolism?
-Time?
-Between six and seven seconds.
-The key is the second and third shots came right on top of each other, and it takes a minimum 2.3 seconds to recycle this thing. The other problem is there was a tree right there... Blocking the first two shots at the time they occur in the Zapruder film.
-Didn't Hoover say something about that? The leaves had fallen off in November?
-It was a Texas Live Oak, boss. It sheds it's leaves the first week of March. You try to hit a moving target at 88 yards through heavy foliage with this cheap 13-dollar sucker, the world's worst shoulder weapon. No way. The FBI tried two sets of tests and not one of their sharpshooters could match Oswald's performance. Not one. And Oswald was at
-The Zapruder film is the proof they didn't count on, Lou. We gotta get our hands on it.
-That means we gotta subpoena Time- Life on it.
-When Kennedy gets to the kill zone, it's a turkey shoot.
-How many men?
-Who do you think changed the parade route?
-Beats me. City officials. Secret Service. Dallas police. They did a dry run with Chief Curry a few days before. But they didn't bother running through Dealey. They stopped right there, said something like, "and afterwards there's only the freeway," and went home.
-You know who the mayor was?
-No.
-Earle Cabell. And guess who his brother is?
-Who?
-General Charles Cabell. Deputy Director of the CIA. Fired by Kennedy in '61 because of the Bay of Pigs fiasco, he moved back to the Pentagon, called Kennedy a "traitor". When he came to New Orleans to address the Foreign Policy Association, you know who introduced him? Our friend Clay Shaw.
-The Warren Commission call him?
-His boss was the one on the Warren Commission who handled all the leads to the intelligence community.
-Allen Dulles?
-Head of the CIA since '53. Kennedy fired them both. Cabell was his deputy for nine years. Talk about the fox investigating the chicken coop. Now we'll have to subpoena them, Lou.
-Maybe we should just call it a day, Lou. Go home. While we're still a little behind. We got two people killed, maybe more we never thought about.
-Chief, I've had my doubts about Bill for a long time. He's fighting everything.
-I just plain don't trust him anymore.
-Maybe you didn't hear what I said. I will not tolerate this infighting among the staff, I warn you that...
-Are you giving me an ultimatum, Lou?
-Well, if that's what you want to call it. I didn't ever think it would come to this. I guess I am, boss.
-I will not have any damned ultimatums put to me, Lou. I'll accept your resignation.
-Sad thing is the way it's screwing up this country, all these hippies running around on drugs, the way young people look you can't tell a boy from a girl anymore. I saw a girl the other day, she was pregnant - you could see her whole belly, and you know what she painted on it? "Love Child." It's fuckin' outa control. Values've gone
-I sometimes feel things've gone downhill since John Kennedy was killed, Senator.
-I thought the FBI test-fired the rifle to make sure it could be done?
-Sure, three experts and not one of them could do it! They're telling us Oswald got off three shots with world-class precision from a manual bolt action rifle in less than six seconds - and accordin' to his Marine buddies he got Maggie's drawers - he wasn't any good. Average man would be lucky to get two shots off, and I tell ya the
-You know, something always bothered me about that from day one, and I can't put my finger on it.
-If I were investigatin', I'd round up the 100 best riflemen in the world and find out which ones were in Dallas that day. You been duck hunting? I think Oswald was a good old-fashioned decoy. What'd he say? "I'm just a patsy." Out of the mouth of babes y'ask me.
-Hell, you're the District Attorney. You read the Warren Report - and then you tell me you're satisfied Lee Oswald shot the President all by his lonesome.
-Russell, honestly you sound like one of those kooky critics spreading paranoia like prairie fire. I just can't believe the Chief Justice of the United States would put his name on something that wasn't true.
-Welcome, District Attorney Garrison. May I call you Jim?
-There have been a number of reports in reputable news media - Time, Newsweek, our own NBC - that you have gone way beyond the legal means available to a prosecutor, that you've intimidated and drugged witnesses, bribed them, urged them to commit perjury. What is your response?
-Your faith in the veracity of the major media is touching, Jerry. It indicates that the Age of Innocence is not yet over. But seriously, Jerry, people aren't interested in Jim Garrison - they want the hard evidence! They want to know why he was killed and what forces were opposed to...
-Some people would say you're paranoid.
-Well, if I am, why is the Government concealing evidence?
-Are they? Why would they?
-Pictures like this don't show up on television!
-Sure they do. The camera can pick this up.
-Jim Garrison?
-Yes.
-I'm glad you came. I'm sorry about the precautions.
-I could give you a false name, but I won't. Just call me X.
-I've already been warned by the Agency, Mr. Whoever. If this is another type of threat, I don't...
-I don't... I can't believe it. They killed him because he wanted to change things. In our time - in our country?
-Kings are killed, Mr. Garrison. Politics is power, nothing more. But don't believe me. Don't trust me. Do your own work, your own thinking.
-The size of this is... beyond me. Testify?
-No chance in hell, Mr. Garrison. I'd be arrested and gagged, declared insane and hospitalized... maybe worse. You, too. I can only give you background, you got to find the foreground, the little things... Keep digging. Y'know you're the only person to ever bring a trial in the murder of John Kennedy. That's important - it's historic.
-I haven't yet. I don't have much of a case.
-Well, thanks for coming.
-You didn't get that break you needed, but you went as far as any man could, bubba. What can I do for you?
-Just speculating, I guess. How do you think it started?
-He's done it before. Other countries. Lumumba in the Congo, Trujillo, the Dominican Republic, he's working on Castro. No big deal. In September, Kennedy announces the Texas trip. At that moment, second Oswalds start popping up all over Dallas where they have the mayor and the cops in their pocket. Y flies in the assassins, maybe from the special camp we keep outside Athens,
-Any chance of one of them confessing someday?
-...don't think so. When they start to drool, they get rid of 'em. These guys are proud of what they did. They did Dealey Plaza! They took out the President of the United States! That's entertainment! And they served their country doing it.
-...and your General?
-...got promoted to two stars, but he was never military, you know, always CIA. Went to Vietnam, lost his credibility when we got beat over there, retired, lives in Virginia. I say hello to him when I see him at the supermarket...
-Ever ask him?
-You never ask a spook a question. No point. He'll never give you a straight answer. General Y still thinks of himself of the handsome young warrior who loved this country but loved the concept of war more.
-His name?
-I knew the man 20 years. That's him. The way he walked... arms at his side, military, the stoop, the haircut, the twisted left hand, the large class ring. What was he doing there? If anyone had asked him, he'd probably say "protection" but I'll tell you I think he was giving some kind of "okay" signal to those hoboes - they're about to
-...some story... the whole thing. It's like it never happened.
-It never did.
-Just think... just think. What happened to our country .. to the world... because of that murder... Vietnam, racial conflict, breakdown of law, drugs, thought control, guilt, assassinations, secret government fear of the frontier...
-Here's my problem, Jack. You told me you and Guy were good friends for a long time?
-More than ten years.
-And he never hit you before?
-Never touched me.
-How much more?
-I don't know if I should talk about this.
-Well, I'd ask Guy - we were friendly, you know - heart attack, wasn't it?
-If you buy what you read in the paper.
-You have other information?
-I didn't say that. All I know is he died suddenly just before the Warren Report came out.
-Why did Guy beat you, Jack?
-Dave Ferrie - you know about him?
-Was he there often?
-Where is Banister in all this?
-Like I said, a fuckin' nuthouse.
-Yeah, he was there, too... sometimes he'd be meeting with Banister with the door shut. Other times he'd be shooting the bull with Ferrie. But he was there all right.
-Anyone else involved at Banister's level?
-Clay something, that was his name - Clay.
-Bertrand. Clay Bertrand?
-Yeah! That's it. I don't know. Maybe it wasn't. I gotta go.
-Clay Bertrand. He's in the Warren Report. He tried to get Oswald a lawyer. Was Kennedy ever discussed, Jack?
-Sure. 'Course they hated the sonofabitch, but...
-The assassination, Jack?
-Never. Not with me sir, never... Listen, I think I'd better go. I said enough. I said all I'm going to say.
-Hold on, Jack. What's the problem?
-What's the problem? What's the problem? Do I need to spell it out for you, Mr. Garrison? I better go.
-Nobody knows what we're talking about, Jack.
-Didn't someone say he didn't speak good Russian?
-Even my own wife, chief, Who's wondering where I am?
-HOLD IT, CHIEF...
-Well, believe what you want, boss, but we got to be more careful. All these new volunteers, any one of them could be...
-No, she could get hurt. If you believe what's happening to these other people.
-She's the best damn witness we have!
-Hate mail here. Fan mail here. The bad news is the IRS has just requested an audit on your income from this office.
-Sure sounds like he's winning.
-I don't think so, Al. You remember the Hemingway story, "The Old Man and the Sea"? The old fisherman manages to catch this great fish - a fish so huge he has to tie it to the side of the boat to get it back in. But by the time he reached shore, the fish had long since been picked apart by sharks and
-Then what are we going through all this trouble for?
-Welcome, Mr. Miller. Jim Garrison. Would you care for some coffee?
-I'm glad you could find time to see me. I flew down from Denver this morning on my private jet.
-Yes, your letter indicated you were in he oil business up there.
-I've done quite well in Denver, Mr. Garrison, but I have to admire someone like you - and I have the means to back up what I say.
-They've been enlarged and show a lot of detail...
-Where were you? Europe, Pacific?
-Germany.
-You were lucky. I spent three years in the Pacific. I've never seen an avenue with such a profusion of bail-bonding companies. Why is that?
-I know about that shot. A terrible tragedy. How much do you have for carrying on your investigation?
-If you must know, virtually nothing.
-How many men are working with you on this?
-Less than you would guess. Most days two to three assistant D.A.'s. A handful of police investigators.
-That's all you've had all this time?
-I'm going to be very frank with you. You've done a great job, an astounding job considering the limited resources available to you. But the best you can ever hope for is to stir up a lot of confusion. You're not going to do this country any good, and you're not going to do yourself any good. You don't belong here. On this Mickey
-The job manages to keep me pretty busy.
-I propose you accept an appointment to the bench in Federal District Court and move into a job worthy of your talent. Do you have any idea, do you have any conception of how easily such an appointment can be arranged?
-And what would I have to do?
-Stop your investigation... it was a magnificent effort but it's over and done with. The press is already on your behind and that's only the beginning, my boy, only the beginning.
-Hello. Is this Jim Garrison's daughter?
-Yes?
-Virginia or Elizabeth?
-Virginia.
-Virginia, you're a lucky little girl. Your daddy has entered you in a beauty contest. Would you like to be in a beauty contest?
-That sounds fun.
-I need some information from you then. How old are you?
-Six.
-And you get of from school at 3 every day?
-Yes.
-Do you walk home?
-Then do you understand that I cannot tell the truth here? In Dallas. That there are people here who do not want me to tell the truth... who do not want me to have a retrial?
-When are you going back to Washington, sir?
-I am going back very shortly after we finish this hearing - I am going to have some lunch.
-Can I make a statement? If you request me to go back to Washington with you right now, that is if you want to hear further testimony from me, can you do that? Can you take me with you?
-No, that could not be done, Mr. Ruby. There are a good many things involved in that.
-What are they?
-Well, the public attention it would attract. And we have no place for you there to be safe, we're not law enforcement officials, and many things are at stake in this affair, Mr. Ruby.
-But if I am eliminated there won't be any way of knowing. Consequently a whole new form of government is going to take over this country, and I know I won't live to see you another time. My life is in danger here. Do I sound screwy?
-Well I don't know what can be done, Mr. Ruby, because I don't know what you anticipate we will encounter.
-Can I help you?
-This looks pretty good on me.
-I think I'm gonna just get this for today. I'm in kind of a hurry. Would you mind ringing this up while I change out of it?
-Not a problem.
-I'm sorry, I just decided to stay in the suit -- get out of that damn uniform.
-Tomorrow I'll talk to your probation officer. Karen's a good kid, but she's mad at you, because you lied to her. This business about your grandmother's funeral
-I went. I did. I took my mother and little brother.
-But you didn't ask permission. You broke a trust. If you had asked, Karen probably would have let you. I'm sure she would.
-I know. That's why I went.
-But then you told her you were home.
-I don't know. Maybe it's a language problem. Anita, you ever cause this much heartache over something that could easily be avoided, I'll never write you again. You understand?
-I understand.
-I understand.
-Then say "Yes, Max. I understand."
-So you're gonna call Karen tomorrow?
-I'll call her.
-Won't forget?
-What the fuck can I say? I'm serious, man. What the fuck can I say? Thank you... thank you... thank you.
-Who was there for your ass?
-You were there for me.
-Who?
-You see, it works like this. You get your ass in trouble, I get your ass out. That's my job. And I don't mind tellin ya, nigga, it's steady work.
-I'm still scared as a motherfucker, Ordell. They talkin' like they serious 'bout me doin' that machine gun time.
-Naw, man. They just tryin' to put a fright in your ass.
-If that's what they want to do, they're doin' it.
-How old is that machine gun shit?
-Three years.
-Three years. That crime's old, man. They ain't got room in prison for all the motherfuckers out there killin' people. How they gonna find room for you?
-That's not what they're tellin' me.
-Hey, c'mon in, man. I was just -- you know -- smokin' a fatty, watchin' TV.
-Naw, man. I gotta be someplace. I was kinda hopin you could come with me.
-What'd ya mean?
-Look, I hate to be the kinda nigga, does a nigga a favor -- then BAM -- hits a nigga up for a favor in return. But I'm afraid I gotta be that kinda nigga.
-What?
-I need a favor.
-That requires me goin' out tonight?
-A bit.
-Aaaaawww man, I wasn't plannin' on goin' no place. It's twelve o'clock, man. I'm home, I'm high --
-What's the problem?
-Well, it ain't so much a problem a a situation. Remember I sold those three M-60 machine guns outta the five I got?
-Uh-huh.
-I'm gonna sell the other two tonight. This group of Koreans in Koreatown have started a Neighborhood Watch kinda thing. And they want a few weapons so the neighborhood niggas know they mean business. So I'm gonna sell 'em my two machine guns tonight. Only problem, I ain't never dealt with these Koreans before. Now I ain't worried. Asians are by and large real
-Man, I ain't ready to be goin' out nowhere --
-Let me finish. Can I finish?
-Fuck that shit, man. I ain't shootin' anybody.
-What the fuck I tell you. You don't hafta shoot nobody. Just hold the gun. They'll get the idea.
-I ain't gittin' in that trunk.
-We're only goin' to Koreatown. You'll be in there -- ten minutes.
-Uh-uh. I ain't riding in that trunk no minutes. Why don't I just ride with you?
-You can't ride with me. The surprise effect is ninety percent of it.
-Well, I'm sorry, man, but I ain't gittin' in that trunk.
-I can't believe you do me this way.
-I ain't doin' you no way. I just ain't climbin' in that trunk. I got a problem with small places.
-Well, my ass has got a problem spending ten thousand dollars of my own goddam money to get ungrateful, peanuthead niggas outta jail, but I do it --
-Look, man, I know I owe you --
-Well, if you owe me, git your ass in the trunk.
-I wanna help you, but I don't wanna be locked in the trunk of no car.
-Answer the question, nigga. Do you think I wanted to spend the thousand dollars on your ass? Yes or no?
-Course you didn't.
-Does he have the marked bills on him?
-Why were you with him?
-I went to give him his refund, so he wouldn't have to come here.
-How'd you know where he was?
-I found out.
-And you didn't tell the Police?
-I'd say there's about, oh, fifty thousand dollars here. What would you say Ray?
-You got a good lawyer?
-Can she afford a good one is the question. Otherwise she'll be in Sybill Brand three weeks easy before the Public Defender gets around to her.
-Great, you're here.
-What's going on?
-She wants to make a deal.
-She sound scared?
-She almost sounds scared.
-What's she want?
-She wants to go back to work.
-What's she willing to give us?
-She hasn't one into specifics yet, she's been waiting for you.
-She knows it's my case?
-We are. Don't worry about it.
-The envelope contains currency... all the same denomination, one-hundred- dollar bills. Now, I'm counting it.
-Can I have a word with you?
-Hi, I'm Detective Mark Dargus. L.A.P.D. can I ask what you have in that bag?
-I doubt it. Who's your friend?
-Would I mind? Do I have a choice?
-You have the right to say "no." And I have the right to make you wait here with Ray while I go get a warrant. And if I don't want to go through all that trouble, I could just take you in on suspicion.
-This is your money?
-You should know if you bring in anything over ten thousand you have to declare it. You forgot or what? You could get a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar fine, plus two years in prison. Now you want to talk to us about it, or you want to talk to Customs?
-Hey, this is my office. There's no smoking.
-I'm not a loser.
-Help yourself.
-My pocketbook.
-What's in it?
-What's this?
-Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. What with all the cash, I think I could go with Conspiracy to Traffic.
-Let me have a word outside with Agent Nicolet for a moment?
-Take your time.
-Help us do what?
-But now you're telling us now you do.
-You don't want much, do you?
-How was your flight?
-Fine.
-Four thirty. I'm meeting a woman.
-What's her name?
-He wouldn't say. You gonna follow her?
-She leaves, somebody'll be on her.
-I can give you a lift home if you'd like?
-Are you really a bail bondsman?
-I gave you my card there.
-Can I see your I.D.?
-Who put up my bond? Ordell?
-Can we stop for cigarettes?
-Sure, ever been to the Riverbottom?
-I don't think so.
-It's okay. It's a cop hangout.
-Couldn't we just stop at a seven- eleven?
-I thought you might want a drink?
-I'd love one, but not there.
-We could stop at the Hilton by the airport.
-Is it dark?
-It's kind of a sports bar
-That doesn't sound dark.
-Why does it need to be dark?
-'Cause I look like I just got outta jail, that's why. You droppin' me off at home, right? There's a place by me.
-You gain weight?
-Ten pounds. I lose it and put it back on.
-That's why I don't quit. If I can't fly anymore, I'm gonna have a bitch of a time gettin' my brand.
-What's your brand?
-Davidoffs. I get 'em in Mexico. They're hard to find here. I was locked up with the last two getting legal advice from a woman who was in for bustin' her boyfriend's head open with a baseball bat.
-Was she helpful?
-She was more helpful than the fuckin' Public Defender. I don't know -- I guess what I need is a lawyer, find out what my options are.
-You're not tired of it?
-What have they told you?
-So far I've been told I can cooperate and get probation, maybe. Or, I can stand mute and get as much as five years. Does that sound right?
-I'd say if you're tried and found guilty you won't get more than a year and a day. That's State time. Prison.
-Shit.
-But they won't want to take you to trial. They'll offer you simple Possession, a few months of County time, and a year or two probation. How 'bout another?
-You know who put the dope in your bag?
-Yeah, but that's not what this was about. They were fuckin waitin' for my ass. They knew I had that money, they even knew the amount. The one who searched my bag, from L.A.P.D., Dargus, hardly even looked at it. "Oh, I'd say there's fifty thousand here. What would you say?" But all they could do was threaten me and hand me over to
-They wanted you to tell them what you know.
-I had 'em too. I burnt those two Starky and Hutch motherfuckers down. Then their asses lucked out and found that coke.
-What did they want to know?
-That would be Beaumont Livingston.
-That's him. How do you know 'em?
-I wrote him on Monday. They found him dead on Tuesday.
-Ordell pick up his bond?
-Same as you. Ten thousand.
-The federal agent kinda half hinted Ordell might of done Beaumont.
-You mentioned a guy from L.A.P.D., but you didn't mention the Federal.
-I didn't?
-No, you didn't. What branch?
-He's the one who wants you.
-It was the other guy who busted me.
-'Cause if he busted you, you'd play hell bonding out of federal court. He doesn't want you mad at him, he wants you to tell him what you know. He uses you to get a line on Ordell, make a case, then take him federal. You know what Ordell's into?
-I used to bring over ten thousand at a time. That's the legal limit, so I never brought more than that.
-How many trips did you make?
-With ten thousand? Nine.
-He's got that kinda money?
-It's all in lock boxes in a Mexico bank. But he's got a problem. He's -- what do you call it when you got money, but don't have cash?
-Cash poor?
-That's it. He's cash poor. He kept on me till I finally said okay. I'll bring whatever fits in a nine-by- twelve envelope. I got paid five hundred dollars, and his friend, Mr. Walker, in Mexico gave me the envelope.
-Whatever it was had to fit in my bag and not hit you in the face if the bag was opened. This ain't solvin' my problem. I gotta figure out a way to either keep my job or get out of trouble. I'm off today, but if I can't leave the country I'm out of a job. And if I don't got a job,
-Ask A.T.F. They might give you permission.
-Yeah, if I cooperate.
-Well, Jackie, you got caught, you're gonna have to give 'em something.
-But if all I can give 'em is Ordell's name -- I don't really know shit about what he does or how he does it -- That don't give me much to bargain with.
-What'dya think?
-If you're having some.
-You get a chance to use it?
-I felt a lot safer having it. My milk went bad when I was in jail.
-Thanks, but I have my own now.
-What, I couldn't hear you?
-Somebody loan it to you?
-Want to hear some music?
-I couldn't wait till I got home last night and wash my hair.
-You never got into the whole CD revolution?
-This is pretty.
-Uh-huh.
-Who is this?
-The Delfonics.
-'76?
-'74, I think.
-I called in sick this morning. As far as the airline knows, I'm still available.
-Are you?
-I don't know yet. I'm going to talk with Dargus and Nicolet today. Do what you suggested. Offer to help and see what happens.
-What I meant was have a lawyer do the negotiating for you.
-I want to talk to them first. I know more now about Ordell's money.
-Well, if the A.T.F. guy is the one who wants you, that'll only interest him up to a point.
-It's a lot of money. About a half-a- million dollars. All of it in Cabo in safe deposit boxes and more comin' in.
-How'd you find that out?
-He told me last night.
-He called you?
-He came by.
-What?... What'd you do?
-He had his doubts at first. But he's always trusted me an wants more than anything to believe he still can.
-Why?
-He needs me. Without me all that money is just gonna sit over there in Cabo. Sugar?
-How do you get it out?
-Same way I been doin', but first they got to let me go back to work.
-You're gonna offer to set him up?
-If I get let off. Otherwise, fuck 'em.
-It's very possible Ordell's killed somebody.
-How do you feel about getting old?
-You're not old. You look great.
-I'm asking how you feel. Does it bother you?
-It's not really something I think about.
-Really?
-Okay, I'm a little sensitive about my hair. It started falling out ten years ago. So I did something about it.
-How'd you feel about it?
-I'm fine with it, or I wouldn't of done it, I did it to feel better about myself, and I do. When I look in the mirror it looks like me.
-It's different with men.
-My ass ain't the same.
-Bigger?
-Does something else worry you?
-I just feel like I'm always starting over. You said how many bonds you wrote?
-Fifteen thousand.
-Well, hello.
-I walked right past you.
-I know, ignoring me. What're you up to?
-Catching a movie.
-What'd ya see?
-"American President"
-How was it?
-Pretty good. Me and Annette Bening are goin steady.
-Oh, are you? Does she know that?
-Does it happen to all men?
-Well, I'd never be so bold as to speak for all men, but as or myself and a few of my friends, that's definitely the case. There's a lot of actresses out there you like, and there's some you have crushes on. But there's always one who you love. And with her it's sorta like going steady.
-And Annette's it for you?
-Who was your girl before Annette?
-Sandra Bullock. You know her?
-Yeah, she's the girl who drove the bus in "Speed." She's cute.
-She's adorable. But I had to end it.
-Why?
-I'm old enough to be her father.
-How old's Annette?
-What're you, a bag lady?
-I go back to work tomorrow.
-You talk them into it?
-They seem to like the idea.
-Bring the money in and they follow it?
-Yea, but I'm going to dress it up. Put the money in a shopping bag and hand it to someone I meet here.
-You don't actually do it that way?
-He always just picked it up at my place. But with A.T.F. involved, I want to stage it. You know, make it look more intriguing, like we know what the fuck we're doin'. Then it's up to Ray Nicolet, the A.T.F. guy to follow the shopping bag.
-Make the delivery somewhere in the mall.
-Right around here, in the food court.
-Will Ordell go for that?
-I'm helping him bring his money into America. He loves the idea. You just missed him.
-He was here?
-Yeah, we were goin' over everything. That's why all the bags.
-I called you last night.
-I know, I got your message. Ray wanted to have dinner. He wanted to talk about the sting we're plotting. That's what he calls it. A sting. He's being real nice to me.
-You think he's got a thing for you?
-Maybe. But I'm thinking it might be something like he wants the money for himself.
-I don't follow your logic. What does his being nice to you have to do with him wanting Ordell's money?
-He's setting me up to make a proposition.
-I see.
-You don't propose something like that unless you're pretty sure the other person's into it.
-Has he hinted around?
-Not really. But I knew this narcotics cop one time. Told me that in a raid, the whole package never gets back to the station. His exact words.
-You know some interesting people.
-He weren't bullshittin' either, 'cause later he was suspended and forced to retire.
-He tries to act cool.
-No harm in that. He's a young guy havin' fun being a cop. I know the type, trust me on this. He's more interested in Ordell than the money. If he's gonna do anything suspect, it'll be cutting corners to get the conviction; but he wouldn't walk off with the money. It's evidence.
-What about you Max?
-What? If I was in Nicolet's place?
-No, I mean you, right now. Not it you were somebody else.
-If I saw a way to walk off with a shopping bag full of money, would I take it?
-You know where it came from. It's not like it's anybody's life savings. It wouldn't even be missed.
-A half-a-million dollars will always be missed.
-You're avoiding the question.
-I have to stand behind all my active bonds, but I'm not writing any new ones.
-Why?
-A lot of reasons. But the main one would be I'm tired of it.
-When did you decide?
-Hi, I'm Max Cherry. Your bail bondsman.
-The day you got me out of jail?
-Yeah, that night I went to pick up a guy. I hear he's staying at this house, so I sneak in, wait for him to come home.
-Wait a minute. After we were together you went and snuck into a guy's house?
-Got another gun and a stun gun...
-And went to this guy's house in El Monte, and I waited for him.
-What do you do when he comes home?
-Shoot him with the stun gun. While he's incapacitated, cuff him, take 'em to County.
-You do that?
-That's my job.
-Did you do it that night?
-He never came home. But I'm sitting on the couch, in the dark, holding my stun gun and the whole house smells of mildew -- So after a couple hours I think, "What am I doing here? Nineteen years of this shit? So I made up my mind, that's it.
-And is that it?
-I'm not sure you answered my question.
-Which one?
-If you had a chance, unemployed now, to walk off with a half-million dollars, would you take it?
-Don't even think about it. You could get yourself killed go to prison...
-The feds. It's evidence.
-You're rationalizing.
-I told them Ordell's changed the amount he's bringing in.
-Do you think they bought it?
-Oh, yeah. I got them thinking Ordell's real nervous. They love thinking he's scared of them.
-You know, a good cop won't let you know he knows you're fulla shit.
-It'll be more than that.
-Don't be so literal. Ray believed it.
-But you still have to show him the money at the airport.
-Well, you know I'm not going to show him the whole amount. He'll see fifty thousand.
-Where's the rest of it?
-In the bag underneath.
-What if he checks it?
-He won't -- I mean, he didn't the last time. He'll be expecting fifty thousand and there it is -- on top.
-You're takin' a helluva chance kid.
-Not really. If he finds it, I say Mr. Walker put the money in, and I didn't know nothing about it. Like the coke.
-Then you're out and you get nothing.
-Yeah, but I'm not in jail and I tried.
-You're gonna have surveillance all over you.
-That's why you don't make a move till I come out of the fitting room.
-In a dress.
-How'd you find out?
-All Winston had to do was ask around. Ordell's living in Long Beach with a woman junkie.
-How does Winston find him if A.T.F. and all the local Police can't?
-People talk to Winston. He's street, same as them, they trust him. They get busted, they know somebody who can bond them out. I thought I might drop in on him. He'll no doubt be surprised to see me.
-He's liable to shoot you.
-Ray wants him.
-That's why A.T.F.'s gotta make the case. I'm their witness. They wouldn't have a case without me. If it's his word against mine, who are they gonna believe?
-It never was, so I'm not gonna start worrying about it now. Look, Ray more or less believes my story, and he more or less doesn't care. All he really gives a shit about is getting Ordell.
-So how do we give Ordell to Nicolet?
-Get Ordell to come to your office.
-Set him up.
-Uh-huh.
-Tell him you want to see him?
-Tell him I want to give him his money.
-Why?
-I've chickened out. I'm afraid of him. He'll like that.
-What do you tell Nicolet?
-Ordell called and wants to meet me and I'm scared.
-He's already there.
-What if he hears something he's not supposed to?
-I got your package. It was fun getting a half-a-million dollars in the mail.
-Less ten percent.
-Only this isn't a bail bond, Max.
-I hesitated taking that much.
-You worked for it -- if you're sure that's all you want.
-I saw Ray the other day. Boy is he pissed he missed all the excitement.
-What's he doing?
-He's on to a new thing. He's after a guy who owns a gun shop he says is "woefully and wantonly" selling assault rifles to minors. He says he's gonna take him down if it's the last thing he does.
-Did you tell him you were leaving?
-That's Ordell's.
-They've confiscated all his other stuff. But this one's sorta left over. The registration's in the glove box, the keys were under the seat... What's a matter, haven't you ever borrowed someone's car?
-I didn't use you, Max.
-I didn't say you did.
-I never lied to you.
-I know.
-We're partners.
-I'm fifty-five-years old. I can't blame anybody for anything I do.
-I'd feel a whole lot better if you took some more money.
-Where're you going?
-Spain.
-Madrid or Barcelona?
-Wanna go?
-Thanks, but you have a good time.
-Sure I can't twist your arm?
-Thank you for saying that, but no. My business.
-I thought you were tired of your business?
-I'm just tired in general.
-You tell those guys they'll have to do one helluva lot better than that before I'll even say 'hi' to them.
-Well, that's the State's offer. If you plead to possession and tell L.A.P.D. what they want to know, your bond will be set at one-thousand dollars. If you don't, L.A.P.D. will request one at twenty-five thousand based on your prior record and risk of flight. If you don't post it or don't know anyone who can, you'll spend six to eight weeks in County
-Who's side are you on?
-I beg your pardon?
-What if I plead guilty?
-And cooperate? You might get probation.
-If I don't cooperate?
-He say we like the same thing as married.
-Most of the times.
-Sometimes every day, for a while.
-Yes'm.
-You know what's in the bag you're taking?
-He say is a surprise.
-Oh, Miss Brown?
-And what would this be, Sweet and Low?
-What the fuck is that shit?
-I know what it looks like.
-Look, that shit ain't mine.
-We'll just be a minute.
-Thanks for waiting, Jackie. Now tell me, what can we do for you?
-I need permission to leave the country so I keep my job.
-We can look into that.
-I need it tomorrow. If I don't show up for work tomorrow, I'm fired.
-You know what we want.
-Oh, so now you know him?
-No shit. You know how he makes his money?
-He sells guns.
-You ever see him sell guns?
-No.
-Then how do you know he sells guns?
-He told me. Besides, why else would an A.T.F. man be after him?
-How can you help us?
-This is A.T.F. agent Ray Nicolet, Jackie Brown, Ordell Robbie money exchange trial run. It's three p.m., July 4th 1997. The location is the parking structure at LAX.
-I'm recording this.
-The envelope contains ten thousand dollars. The subject will be delivering the currency in a...
-Ordell has a white guy working for him named Louis.
-You two meet?
-This afternoon before I came here. He was with Ordell at an apartment in Hermosa Beach. I don't know if he lives there, but I can find out.
-You talk to him?
-Not really.
-His full name is Louis Gara. He just got out from serving four years in Susanville.
-What for?
-Bank robbery? Do you know what he does for Ordell?
-I imagine shit needs to be done.
-...Compton with a fifty-six-year- old petty thief -- woman named Simone Hawkins.
-Ever meet her, or they talk about her?
-Not yet.
-Who's the other one?
-White girl named Melanie Ralston. Another girlfriend of Ordell's.
-What's her story?
-It was her coke I got busted with. She knows everything, but she's not part of it, and she's pissed cause she's not part of it. Ordell wouldn't even let her stay at the meeting. She tried to talk me into ripping off Ordell.
-And splittin' with her?
-I'm sure that was the idea.
-What did you say?
-I smiled and walked away. She also told me Ordell killed Beaumont.
-She told you that?
-Uh-huh.
-Was she there?
-She didn't say.
-But she mentioned Beaumont by name?
-Uh-huh.
-Well, this sounds like a lady I'd like to have a word with. So everything's set for tomorrow?
-You said that the last time.
-Well, it's true, isn't it? After this is buttoned up we could meet someplace else. What do you think?
-We could, if I'm not in jail.
-That's fifty thousand, huh? It doesn't look like that much.
-I was told ten thousand in each pack.
-You didn't count it?
-Ever been tempted?
-What? To put one of these in my pocket?
-Uh-huh.
-If I did, I'd have to give you one, wouldn't I? Or we could take what we want. No one knows how much there is except us, right?
-Yes. All those things are true.
-After all, it don't belong to nobody, right?
-That would be one point of view.
-Yeah, well, it's not a point of view that A.T.F. shares. Once we make it evidence, it belongs to us. You are now officially out of trouble. Don't do nothing stupid, now.
-How can I do anything if I'm being watched every second?
-I'm glad you realize that. Saves me the trouble of pointing it out to you. Put this in your shopping bag. It's what I expect to find when I look in Sheronda's. Comprende?
-I thought I did.
-You didn't. I would think with all this on your mind, you'd wait till after.
-I got there early. I've had my eye on this suit -- Wait, let's start over. I got there early. The idea was to try on the suit, see if I liked it. If I did, get them to wrap it up, and change back into my uniform. That's what Sheronda's expecting me to wear. Go meet Sheronda, give her the bag with fifty
-But you didn't do that.
-Where's the bag she gave you?
-She didn't give me one. I told you before, Melanie wasn't part of the plan. Ordell must of told her to do it. She bursts in, grabs the shopping bag, and takes off. What am I supposed to do, go after her? I'm in my fucking underwear. I had to get dressed before I could do anything. So I put this back on 'cause
-You took the time to pay the saleswoman.
-I had to. I was frantic. I didn't know what to do.
-What did you do after that?
-I went looking for you. I went straight to the bookstore, 'cause that's where you were last time, but you weren't there. How the hell else am I supposed to let anybody know what happened? You didn't tell me how to do that, did you? I knew I was under surveillance, so when I couldn't spot anybody, I started yelling.
-There was a guy with Melanie?
-We had our agent on you. She sees a blonde come out of the fitting room carrying a Robinson's/May bag and tussle with a tough-looking white guy. The white guy takes the shopping bag and they go.
-This guy with Melanie, that was Louis Gara?
-I didn't see him. I was in my underwear. If it was a white guy, it was probably Louis. He kill Melanie?
-It's possible. You're saying you don't have any idea what happened to that fifty thousand?
-I have no idea.
-You'd take a polygraph on it?
-If it'll make you happy.
-Louis Gara's dead. L.A.P.D. found him dead in a car on Ninth. And we've lost Ordell.
-I thought you were watching him.
-We were, and we lost him. He walked into a strip bar sometime around three thirty and never came out. The bar was on Ninth, less than a mile- and-a-half from where Louis was found dead. It looks like Louis's friend shot him twice at point blank range.
-So what happens now?
-We pick up Ordell. We've got three murders we can link him to. We have the storage unit where he keeps his guns, by tomorrow we'll have a search warrant to go in and get him. And we have you.
-What about me?
-What about you?
-Do you think I took some of that money?
-Oh, hi.
-Buy ya a beer?
-I'm waiting for the phone.
-Good luck. That guy's been in there since I got here.
-Sure.
-Killian's.
-Better get me another Sam's. Join me in a Jaeger shot?
-Uh-uh.
-How long you been with Ordell?
-This time? Almost a year. I've known him forever.
-What were you two fighting about?
-Mr. Walker's my buddy. Ask him about Ordell.
-He said he didn't know about it.
-He killed a guy who works for him the other day.
-Beaumont Livingston?
-You already knew that?
-Kinda.
-You think I'm kidding?
-Dreaming.
-You know how easy it would be? He won't be anywhere near that mall. Pull one more switch, up front. That's it. Half-a-million dollars. Need help?
-Keep it between us girls?
-What's that fucker ever done for us?
-Jackie?
-Hi, Melanie.
-Are you getting that black suit?
-Yeah, do you like it?
-It looks good on you.
-Do you got something for me?
-I put a little cherry on top. You're right. What the hell he ever do for us?
-Thanks.
-How you doing, Ms. Jackie?
-I got some vodka in the freezer.
-Got some o.j.?
-Well, then, why don't you be a good hostess and make me a screwdriver?
-For what?
-The same guy who put me in, thanks a lot.
-I'magine they asked who you givin' it to, too.
-They asked.
-And what was your answer?
-I said I wanted to talk to a lawyer.
-Beaumont Livingston.
-I knew it.
-Yeah?
-This fella Beaumont, they say what happened to him?
-What do you think it is?
-I think it's a gun pressing against my dick.
-What the hell you doin'?
-Now, baby, that's got nothin' to do with you. I just carry that. You been listenin' to them cops too much.
-The cops didn't try and strangle my ass.
-Damn, Jackie, I was just playin' with you.
-Well, I ain't playin with you. I'm gonna unload both these motherfuckers, you don't do what I tell you. Understand what I'm saying?
-Baby, I ain't come here -- She shoves both guns in Ordell's back.
-I said, you understand what I'm saying
-I understand woman, damn!
-I'm tellin' you, those cops been fuckin' wit your mind. They turn black against black, that's how they do.
-I just came here to talk.
-Let's get realistic, baby. Sooner or later they're gonna get around to offering me a plea deal, and you know that. That's why you came here to kill me.
-Baby, I didn't --
-Yeah?
-I got a problem...
-Yeah.
-I'll talk to the cops tomorrow and tell you if it's on.
-The Cockatoo Inn.
-The Cockatoo Inn? Where's that?
-It's right on Hawthorne Boulevard and Manhattan Beach Boulevard. It's red brick...
-Oh, wait, you mean that place that has the big sign with a rooster on it?
-I bet you come here on a Saturday night, you need nigga repellent keep 'em off your ass.
-I do okay.
-You a fine lookin' woman, Jackie. I bet you do a damn sight better than okay. You think anybody followed you?
-I don't think so, but it don't really matter. They know I'm meeting you.
-How the fuck they know that?
-You told em? You told em it's me?
-They already know it's you.
-Well, shit. That don't mean you gotta confirm it!
-Look, the only way I can get permission to fly is if I agree to help them. Which is what I have to appear to be doing. So I give them something they already know. You.
-Didja tell 'em anything else?
-You told them that?
-It's true, isn't it?
-What the fuck's that got to do with it?
-They know I'm delivering for you. I mention the half-million -- they don't give a fuck about that -- They want you with guns. So I say, well, if you want proof he's getting paid for selling them, let me bring the money in.
-...I make two deliveries. The first one with ten thousand, like a dry run. They watch it. See how it works. Then we do a second delivery, when I bring in the half mill.
-Naw, naw, that's too much exposure. I ain't goin anywhere near that money.
-You don't have to. I told 'em you're real careful. You never pick up money yourself. You always send someone, and I never know who it is.
-That's a good idea.
-If you just listen, you'll see it's a damn good idea. The first time I do it they're lurking about. They see me hand the ten thousand to someone.
-Who?
-I don't know. One of your friends.
-A woman.
-If you want.
-Yeah, I think a woman.
-The next trip, when I come with all the money, it'll look like I hand it to the same one I did before...
-But you don't?
-No, I give it to someone else first.
-And they follow the wrong one thinkin' she's bringing it to me.
-That's the idea.
-So we need two people, two women.
-Can you cover that?
-I got the woman covered. Where you thinkin' about doin' this?
-I was thinkin' the Del Amo Mall. In the food court.
-I suppose you see a piece of this for yourself?
-Well, it's my plan. We're in this together.
-Yeah, but it's my money, and I don't need me a partner.
-I ain't your partner, I'm your manager. I'm managing to get your money out of Mexico, into America, in your hands, and I'm managing to do all this under the nose of the cops. That makes me your manager, and managers get fifteen percent.
-Managers get ten percent.
-That's an agent. Manager's get fifteen percent.
-I'll give ya ten.
-Plus the same deal as before.
-The money's in a Broadway shopping bag. I get some food, and sit down here in the food court. Then your girl comes -- you got somebody yet?
-Uh-huh.
-Who?
-What'd you care?
-Look, it's my ass facin' the penitentiary. You send some hard- headed roc whore, and she fucks things up.
-Drink?
-I don't want no more fuckin' surprises. We do this the way I laid it out, or we don't do it at all.
-What the hell you talkin' bout?
-Sheronda passin' the money onto someone else, that's what the hell I'm talkin' 'bout.
-How do you know she did that?
-I was there, I saw her do it.
-Well, you weren't supposed to be there.
-I know, but I hung around, 'cause I figured you'd try an' pull some shit like this.
-Now, hold on there. I ain't pullin' no shit. It's my money, I can do whatever the fuck I wanna do with it.
-Nicolet and Dargus stop me at the airport and mark the bills.
-Man, I don't like that part.
-It washes off. I tell them we're doing it the same way as before. They'll follow Sheronda. I hate the idea of leaving her for a fall.
-She won't have no problems 'cause she don't know nothin'.
-Are you sure she don't know about the money?
-She don't know shit about the money.
-What does she think she's gettin?
-No, you gonna give her a Robinson's/May bag this time?
-Right, the one Simone gives me. Simone and I'll make the switch at Robinson's/May. She knows what I look like?
-She saw you with Sheronda. So Simone goes to the dress department with her Robinson's/May bag.
-Designer clothes.
-She waits for you to go in the place where you try things on.
-So you come out with her Robinson's/May bag, go meet Sheronda. Simone peeks out, waits for my man Louis here to give her a signal nobody's watchin'. She leaves the store, gets in her car -- mission accomplished.
-Where you gonna be during all this?
-Who's paging you?
-Ray, the A.T.F. guy.
-That works on my nerves, you bein' so buddy-buddy with him.
-If I wasn't, this wouldn't work. Now once I deliver I'll have to trust you.
-And a hundred thousand if I go to jail.
-Give it to the bail bondsman, Max Cherry. He'll take care of it.
-Max Cherry? You and him friends now? You tell him about this shit?
-It's boring, isn't it?
-I can sit through it once.
-He thinks he's Joe Gunn now.
-I'm impressed. He knows a lot.
-Want a hit?
-When did you get out of jail?
-Four days ago.
-Where at?
-Susanville.
-How long?
-Two months shy of four years.
-Four years?
-Uh-huh.
-What for?
-Bank robbery.
-Is it ready to go?
-You okay?
-Yeah, I'm just gettin' old. I can't smoke or laugh now it seems without coughing.
-Want a Metrix?
-It's like this major meal in a shake you drink instead of having a big meal.
-It's a diet thing?
-No, it's what body builders drink to beef up.
-Which one?
-The roller disco one.
-You're fourteen years old here?
-Yeah.
-I thought you were sixteen.
-I was pretty much the same height now as I was then.
-Were you a disco girl?
-Noooo, I was a surfer girl. Besides, I was only fourteen. I couldn't go to discos.
-So where did you go?
-That was taken at a place called "Flippers." It was in Hollywood. Were you in L.A. back then?
-No.
-Where were you?
-Detroit.
-With Ordell?
-Were you a disco guy?
-No.
-C'mon, don't lie.
-I don't like dancing.
-Did you ever go I one?
-I went to a few just to meet women. But I don't like to dance, and it's so fuckin; loud. During that whole scene I just drank in bars. Who didn't make the cut?
-That's a picture of me in Japan.
-You been to Japan?
-I lived there for about nine months.
-You lived in Japan, when?
-About five years ago.
-Who's arm is that?
-That's the guy I lived with... his name was... Hirosh.
-Must of made quite an impression.
-I never got to know him, really. I couldn't speak Japanese, and his English was terrible. But I couldn't say anything, because his English was better than my Japanese.
-That sounds like a problem.
-Wanna fuck?
-Yeah, that really hit the spot.
-Is it dead?
-Well, so far he is. But you have to admit he's not too bright.
-He killed a man worked for him the other night.
-That's not what I'm saying at all. You know where he went?
-No.
-He went to meet that stewardess.
-Please.
-You live with him.
-I live here. He drops in and out. He tell you about that half-million dollars he's got in Mexico?
-Uh-huh?
-Course he did, he tells everybody who'll listen. That's what he's doin' with this stewardess. He's scheming how he can get it over here.
-And your point is?
-Let him and that stewardess get that money over here...
-Uh-huh?
-We're leaving now!
-Jesus Christ, get a grip, Louis.
-That's a nice outfit on her. I'm gonna go over and look at this Michi Moon display.
-Just stay right fuckin' here, all right?
-What are you doin'?
-I'm getting out of here. What do you think?
-Lemme have the bag.
-Goddam you. Gimme that bag,
-Watch it, dipshit. You wanna rip the fuckin' bag?
-I'm carrying it.
-Is it this aisle, Lou-is?
-Yeah, down the end.
-Is it this aisle or the next one over?
-This one.
-I mean it. Don't say one fuckin' word.
-Thanks, Baby.
-See, what did I tell you? Man in New York wants a 9 millimeter Smith and Wesson Model 5946. Why does he want it? It's the gun that nigga on "New York Undercover" uses. Because of that nigga, I can sell it to this nigga for twelve-fifty.
-What's your cost?
-As low as two.
-Are you serious?
-I got me five M-60 machine guns. These came straight from the Gulf War. I sold me three of them so far, twenty grand a piece.
-That's good money.
-Louis, this is it, man. I'm gonna make me a million dollars out of this. I already got me a half-a- million sittin' in Mexico. When I do this last delivery, I'm gonna make me another half-million.
-Then what?
-I'm going to wait in the car.
-Take the keys, man. Listen to music.
-This one's for the ignition... ...but you gotta hit this thing to shut the alarm off and unlock the door.
-What do I do?
-You ain't got to do nothing. Just point at it and push the button. You'll hear the car go "bleep." That means the alarm's off and the doors are open.
-Okay.
-Louis, my man. Watcha doin'?
-Oh, I dunno. Watching TV.
-Whatcha watchin'?
-Nothin' really. Just kinda goin' back and forth. They had some black girl from some black show on Jay Leno. I watched that for a bit, but I kept flippin channels cause I didn't know who she was.
-Guess where I am?
-I dunno.
-I know you don't know. I said guess.
-The moon -- I dunno
-I'm talkin' to you from the comfy- cozy interior of an Oldsmobile parked outside your nasty-ass welfare motel.
-You're outside?
-Uh-huh.
-C'mon in.
-Naw, man. I just told you, I'm comfortable. I ain't about to walk into that roach motel and get uncomfortable. You bring your ass out here.
-I'm in my underwear.
-Who was that?
-That was Beaumont.
-Who was Beaumont?
-An employee I had to let go.
-What did he do?
-He put himself in a situation where he was gonna have to do ten years in the penetentiary, that's what he did. And if you know Beaumont, you know there ain't no way in hell he can do no ten years. And if you know that, you know Beaumont's gonna go any goddam thing Beaumont can to keep from doin' those ten years including
-Yeah.
-So we on the same page then?
-I didn't look like a bum.
-How much is there?
-Can I ask you about Melanie?
-Sure.
-What's your relationship?
-She one of the women I got set up. I got Melanie in Hermosa Beach. I rent Simone a small house in Compton, and about four blocks away I got me this nineteen-year-old country girl named Sheronda. I found her waitin' for a bus two days outta Alabama, barefoot, country as a chicken coop. Took her to my house in Compton, told her it
-She believed you?
-If this is about you fucked Melanie, I don't give a damn. I ain't a fool. I leave you alone with a bitch like Melanie, you're gonna be fuckin' that twenty minutes after I'm out the door. So say "thank you" and I'll tell you, "you're welcome."
-She tryin' to work your ass against me, ain't she?
-Yep.
-You didn't even hafta say it. I know the woman.
-Well, why the fuck keep her around?
-'Cause she my fine little surfer gal. She can't do me no harm. Fact she think she can play you against me shows how little she knows. You could teach that bitch for days how it is 'tween me an you, she never understand a damn word.
-Why do you let someone know your business you can't trust?
-I don't hafta trust her, I know her.
-What does that mean?
-I still don't understand why you keep her around.
-Uh-huh.
-Well, you the one in motherfuckin' charge.
-Well, she keeps saying 'in a minute.'
-It's Louis.
-Did you get it?
-I got it. Listen, there's something else I have to tell you.
-When I see you. Pick me up at Sam's. You count the money?
-I haven't even looked at it yet, it's still in the shopping bag.
-Melanie must be dyin' to see it. Louis.
-That's what I got to talk to you about. You see, Melanie was giving me a hard time --
-You keep drivin' down Ninth, to where they got all them car dealerships. We're gonna leave this heap in a parking lot and get one the cops don't know about. Hey, where's Melanie?
-That's what I gotta tell you. She bugged me the whole time. Got pissy with me 'cause I wouldn't let her carry the bag. Started running her fuckin' mouth... I couldn't remember right away when we came out where the car was parked, so she got on me about that. "Is it this aisle Lou- is, is it that one?" She was totally fuckin'
-So what, you left her there.
-You shot Melanie?
-Twice. In the parking lot.
-Couldn't talk to her?
-You know how she is.
-You couldn't just hit her?
-Maybe... but at that moment... I dunno...
-You shot her twice?
-Uh-huh.
-So you're sure she's dead.
-Pretty sure.
-Where did you shoot her?
-In the chest and stomach.
-Louis?
-What?
-Where's the rest of it?
-How much it there?
-Maybe forty, maybe not that much.
-You said five hundred and fifty!
-So you light, ain't you. You light about a half-a-million.
-Look, that's the bag she came out with. She never even put her hand in it, and neither did I.
-Came outta where?
-The fitting room. It went down exactly the way it was supposed to.
-How long was she in there?
-Maybe a minute. She came right out.
-Louis, You tellin' me the truth?
-Look, I swear to fucking god, she came out with that bag and I took it from her.
-Then what?
-We went to the parking lot.
-Where you shot her.
-That's right.
-You sure she ain't somewhere with a half-a-million dollars I worked my ass off to earn?
-Fuck you for asking me that.
-What'd you shoot her with?
-Okay, so it was Jackie Brown.
-If she's got it, why didn't she take it all?
-'fore I blow that bitch's brains out, I'll ask her.
-Maybe the Feds got it.
-If there were nothin; in here but towels, maybe she didn't get a chance to take it from her suitcase and A.T.F. got it. But, she put these fuckin' books in here to trick our ass.
-That's why I never checked it. The bag felt right.
-Then she throws forty thousand in here, to rub the shit in my face, know what I'm saying? She wants me to know she ripped me off.
-I don't know. Either she has it or the Feds.
-Jesus Christ.
-What?
-You know who I saw in the dress department?
-Tell me.
-I didn't really think anything of it. No -- I did wonder what he was doing there, but didn't think it had anything to do with us. You know like maybe he was there with his wife or girlfriend.
-You gonna tell me who it was?
-You see Max Cherry in the dress department. We're about to be handed half-a-million dollars -- Man, look at me when I'm talking to you! And you don't think nothing of him being there!
-Do Max Cherry and Jackie Brown know each other?
-Hell, yes, they know each other. He bonded her out of county.
-How am I supposed to know that?
-You know the motherfucker's a bail bondsman, don't ya? You know every last one of them motherfuckers is crooked as hell?
-Why should I think anything's weird, if I don't know nothin' about them knowing each other?
-I ain't givin' you fuckin' excuses, I'm givin' you reasons.
-I'm going out for a few hours.
-Hold on a minute. Where you going?
-I'm going to Del Amo, see a movie, get something to eat.
-Watcha gonna see?
-Whatever looks best and starts the soonest.
-You're right, that was Ordell. You have time, you think you could find out for me where he's staying?
-Cops can't locate him, huh?
-They don't have your winning personality.
-Sure thing. I don't have to know what I'm doing, long as you know.
-How can I help you?
-That's Winston. He works here.
-He's a big one. You two tight?
-Yeah.
-So, you want a ten-thousand dollar bond. What've you got for collateral?
-Gonna have to put up cash.
-It's in my bag.
-You have cash. What do you need me for?
-C'mon, you know how they do. Black man comes in with ten thousand, they wanna fuck with 'em. First off, they gonna wanna know where I got it. Second, they gonna keep a big chunk of it -- start talkin' that court cost shit. Fuck that shit, Jack. I'll go through you.
-Cost you a thousand for the bond.
-Who's it for? A relative?
-Fella named Beaumont. They have him up at county. It started out drunk driving, but they wrote it up "possession of a concealed weapon." Dumb monkey-ass had a pistol on him.
-Ten thousand sounds high.
-He takes off and I gotta go to Kentucky to bring him back, you pay the expenses.
-What's his full name?
-Getting there.
-Beaumont Livingston.
-Livingston, huh?
-On his prior, he served nine months, and he's working on four years' probation.
-You don't say.
-Do you know what he's on probation for?
-Haven't a clue.
-Possession of unregistered machine guns.
-Will they consider this a violation of his probation?
-They do consider this a violation of his probation. Your boy's looking at ten years, plus the concealed weapon.
-Man, he won't like that. Beaumont don't got a doin' time disposition.
-I need your name and address.
-Ordell Robbie. O-R-D-E-L-L. R-O-B-B- I-E. 1436 Florence Boulevard. Compton 90222.
-House or apartment?
-House.
-Across the street a Great Western. It goes in a trust account. You'll need to fill out an Application for Appearance Bond, an Indemnity Agreement, a Contingent Promissory Note. That's the one, if Beaumont skips and I go after him, you pay the expenses.
-Hey, Max.
-Yes.
-Comfortable?
-The door was opened, so I just came right in.
-I can see that. Why?
-I got some more business for ya.
-Oh, yeah? What did he do?
-She is an airline stewardess. Got caught coming back from Mexico with some blow. They set her bond this afternoon at ten thousand. Now, what I was thinkin', you could use the ten thousand you owe me from Beaumont and move it over on to the stewardess.
-The bond for possession is only a thousand.
-They fuckin' wit' her. They callin' it Possession with Intent. A black woman in her forties gets busted with less than two ounces on her, they call that shit Intent. Same shit happened to a movie star. It's Possession.
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-It still sounds high.
-She had, I believe it was... fifty grand on her, too. There was a cop at the hearing. Young guy with L.A.P.D. wanted her bond set at twenty- five thousand, saying there was a risk of flight. Jackie being a stewardess and all.
-Somebody already did.
-What?
-You didn't hear?
-Hear what?
-Somebody with a grudge blew Beaumont's brains out -- hey, that rhymes -- blew Beaumont's brains out.
-Did the police contact you?
-Very first motherfuckin' thing they did. They see I put up a big money bond on my boy, they start thinking with that where-there's-smoke-there's fire logic. They roust my ass outta bed, ten o'clock in the morning. Fuckin' scare my woman, Sherona, half to death. She thought they were gonna take my ass away for sure.
-The stewardess. Do you know her last name?
-Brown, Jackie Brown.
-What does she do for you?
-Who says she does anything for me? She's my friend. When my friends get into trouble, I like to help 'em out.
-Beaumont worked for you.
-That's what the police thought. I told them I'm unemployed, how could I have anybody work for me? Now I bail out Jackie, I'm liable to have the police on me again, huh? Wanting to know was she doing things for me, was she bringing me that money!
-Was she?
-Is this, me and you, like a lawyer- client relationship? The lawyer can't tell nothing he hears?
-You're not my client until you get busted and I bond you out.
-If there's no -- what do you call it -- confidentiality between us? Why would I tell you anything?
-Cause you want me to know what a slick guy you are. You got stewardesses bringing you fifty grand.
-Why would a stewardess bring me fifty grand?
-You want me to speculate on what you do. I'd say you're in the drug business, except the money's moving in the wrong direction. Whatever you're into, you seem to be getting away with it, so more power to you. Okay you want another bond, and you want to move over the ten thousand you put down on Beaumont to the stewardess. That means
-Jackie ain't got time for all that shit --
-I'm telling you what I have to do. What you have to do, in case you forgot, is come up with premium of a thousand bucks.
-I got it. I just don't got it on me.
-Well, come back when you do, and I'll bond out the stewardess.
-Man, you know I'm good for it. Thousand bucks ain't shit.
-If I don't see it in front of me, you're right. It ain't shit.
-Man, you need to look at this with a little compassion. Jackie ain't no criminal. She ain't used to this kinda treatment. I mean, gangsters don't give a fuck -- but for the average citizen, coupla nights in County fuck with your mind.
-Ordell, this isn't a bar, an you don't have a tab.
-Just listen for a second. We got a forty-year-old, gainfully employed black woman, falsely accused --
-Falsely accused? She didn't come back from Mexico with cocaine on her?
-Falsely accused of Intent. If she had that shit -- and mind you, I said "if" -- it was just her shit to get high with.
-Where is it?
-What's up with this shit.
-You know who this is?
-The bond collateral on Beaumont Livingston you moved over to cover Miss Brown, remember?
-She got off, huh?
-You still there?
-What the fuck you doin' knockin on the door like the goddamn police? You lookin' to get shot?
-I thought you might be asleep.
-I'm alone.
-That's all?
-I have a bond receipt for you to sign.
-You know what the fuck I'm talkin' about. You talk to her?
-She wants to give you your money. If she didn't, there'd be cops batter- ramming the door right now.
-How'd you find me?
-Winston found you.
-How the fuck did he find me?
-That's what Winston does. He finds people who don't want to be found.
-Well, bully for that nigga. You say she wants to give me the money, huh?
-Uh-huh.
-Well, give it to me then.
-She wants to give it to you herself and collect her ten percent. She also wants to explain why she had to hold on to it.
-Jackie didn't trust Melanie. She'd already tried to get Jackie to go in with her, split the half million amongst themselves. What she did was take quite a risk to see you get your money.
-Lift up your pant leg. You help her?
-All I did was walk out with it.
-And you did that to protect my interest?
-In a way, yes.
-This place stinks.
-You get used to it after a while. Now tell me where my money's at.
-My office.
-And where's Jackie?
-She's been there since Thursday night.
-She wanted to see me, why wasn't she home?
-She was afraid.
-That I gotta see.
-She still is. She doesn't want to get shot before she can tell you what happened.
-Have her bring the money here.
-It's in the safe. She can't get at it.
-Call her, tell her the combination.
-I'm telling you, you got her spooked. She won't leave there till you have your money and you're gone.
-You expect me to just walk in there?
-If she wanted to set you up, you'd be in custody right now. When you said you'd name her as an accessory she believed you. That scares her more than anything.
-That's why she's givin' up my money huh? Not that bullshit about Melanie. I didn't trust her ass neither, but I knew how to handle her. She was my blonde-headed little surfer gal. I fuckin' told Louis he could've just given her a punch in the mouth, he didn't need to shoot her. She's at your office.
-Uh-huh.
-By herself. That big mandingo nigga Winston ain't there, is he?
-She's all alone.
-I call your office, she better answer the phone.
-It's the next street.
-I know where it is.
-Turn left.
-My money's in that office, right?
-Uh-huh.
-She starts givin' me some bullshit about it ain't there. It's somewhere else and we can go get it. I'm shootin' you in the head right then and there. Then I'm gonna shoot her in the kneecap, find out where my godamn money is. I go walkin' in there and that nigga Winston or anybody else is in there, you're the first man shot,
-Yeah.
-Now, is there anything you want to tell me before we get out of this car?
-No.
-You sure?
-Yes.
-Get that for me, will ya baby?
-Who is it?
-We're back.
-Hey, hey, hey. I think somebody's got some new clothes.
-Ha-ha-ha. I'm serious, you smoke too much of that shit. That shit robs you of your ambition.
-Hello. Hey, Jackie... No, Jackie, I didn't get your message.
-Hope you don't mind keeping him company.
-No problem.
-Cherry Bail Bonds.
-He ain't here right now.
-He leave town?
-He's around.
-Give me his home number.
-Get me out of here.
-Where do you want to go?
-Take me home.
-Home? This is your home. You're dead.
-Dead? No. I just hurt my back. I'm not dead.
-What are you then?
-I'm alive.
-Then what are you doing here?
-I don't know. I don't know. This isn't happening.
-What isn't happening?
-Let me out of here!
-Remember?
-No! That was years ago! I've lived years since then.
-It's all been a dream.
-Dream on!
-Go on Jake. She reads 'em like a book.
-No, thanks.
-Hiya Jake. That was some dance.
-Della?
-You want to see me? Well, here I am.
-I see.
-What do you want?
-Just to see you. That's all.
-Well, how do I look?
-Dr. Singer. It's been a long time.
-Hello, Sam.
-Are you all right?
-I'm okay.
-Do you want some help? I can call upstairs.
-By who? Why? Paul didn't have an enemy in the world.
-How do you know?
-Something weird is going on here. What is it about us? Even in Nam it was always weird. Are we all crazy or something?
-Grass never did that to me.
-Too late. I've tried. I think you're right, Jake. I'm game.
-Daddy!
-Oh God!
-You're hurting me!
-Stop!!!!
-Daddy. Let go.
-What do you want from me?
-You have an unusual hand.
-I could have told you that.
-You know, you got a strange line here.
-It's short, huh?
-Short? It's ended.
-Oh, terrific.
-It's not funny. According to this ... you're already dead.
-What did he talk about when you guys went out? Did he say anything?
-Hello.
-Listen, I just got a strange call from Geary. He said the guys backed down. What's he talking about?
-That's right. We did.
-What does that mean, Frank? I don't get it. Why?
-It's hard to explain.
-Well, try, huh.
-I don't know if I can. It's just that war is war. Things happen.
-Things happen? What the fuck are you talking about? They did something to us, Frank. We have to expose this.
-There's nothing to expose.
-Jesus Christ! Who's been talking to you? What's going on? How can you just turn away? What about the others?
-They're not interested, Jake.
-Shit! You know it's not half the case if I go it alone. We're all suffering the same symptoms, Frank. The army is to blame. They've done something to us. How can you not want to know?
-Maybe it's not the army, Jake.
-What do you mean?
-Maybe there's a larger truth.
-What are you talking about?
-Maybe the demons are real.
-Goddamn it. What kind of bullshit is that?
-Listen, Jake. I gotta go.
-What the hell? What kind of mumbo jumbo ... ?
-I'm hanging up.
-Hey, wait!
-Daddy, what was that noise?
-Gabe? What are you doing ... ?
-There was a bang.
-It was the window.
-It's cold.
-Tell your mother.
-Wait ... Daddy.
-Now what?
-Don't go.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Singer, but do you have any idea how many people come to me with the injustices of the world? It'd break your heart.
-This isn't injustice, Mr. Geary. The army did something to us and we've got to find out what.
-The army. The army. What is it with you guys? We're not talking about a trip to the library here. This is the United States Government for God's sake. This is red tape coming out of your ass. You know what I mean?
-Exactly. And we need someone to cut through it. We hear you're the man.
-Doctor. Ph.D.
-Ah! I thought you were a mailman.
-I am.
-Then why aren't you teaching? Why aren't you in a university?
-I'm too messed up to teach.
-Who's been talking to you? The army? Have they been talking to you, huh?
-Listen, will you listen? They're trying to get me. They're comin' out of the walls. The army's done something to me. I need you.
-You need ... a doctor.
-You mind? I'm eating, huh?
-Something's going on here. You're not telling me something. What the hell's gotten into you?
-I'll tell you what's gotten into me. I don't know you from Adam, right? You come to my office with this bizarro story and demand I look into it. Okay. I said I'd check it out and I did. Now I don't know what kind of fool you take me for, but you have used and abused me, and I don't like it.
-Used you?
-I talked to the Army's Bureau of Records. You've never even been to Viet Nam.
-What the hell is that supposed to mean?
-It means that you and your buddies are whacko, that you were discharged on psychological grounds after some war games in Thailand.
-War games? Thailand? That's not true! How can you believe that? Can't you see what they're doing? It's all a lie. We were in Da Nang, for God's sake. You've got to believe me.
-Bullshit. Someone's covering somethin'. That was no accident.
-Why do you say that?
-Cars don't explode that way. Any simpleton knows that.
-But the paper ...
-What'd he say that for? What made him say that? Strange, huh? Strange.
-What do you mean, demons?
-He was scared. He saw these creatures coming out of the woodwork. They were tryin' to get him, he said.
-How long had that been going on?
-He say what they looked like?
-No. Not really ...
-You think they're connected?
-It's not worth goin' over again and again. Whatever happened, happened. It's over.
-... I've seen them, too.
-Dr. Carlson's dead?
-Not me, buddy.
-Come on, Professor. The army's not gonna give you any answers. You'll be buttin' your head against a stone wall.
-Maybe that's the only way to get through. Besides, six heads'll be better than one.
-Not my head, buddy. Not me. I'm gettin' a headache just listenin' to you.
-We should get ourselves a lawyer.
-Come on, Jake. That didn't hurt.
-How do you know?
-I know you. How come you're so tense today?
-What can I tell you?
-I saw Sarah the other day.
-Her knee acting up?
-A bit.
-What did she have to say?
-Turn on your right side. How about the other "right?" I don't understand you philosphers. You've got the whole world figured out but you can't remember the difference between right and left.
-I was absent the day they taught that in school. What did she say?
-Who?
-Sarah.
-Ah, good. Now turn to your left.
-She talk about the boys?
-She says she can't get them new coats because you haven't sent the alimony for three months.
-She told you that? Did she tell you about the $2,000 I'm still paying for the orthodontist? I'll bet she didn't mention that.
-She said you were a son of a bitch and she regrets the day she set eyes on you.
-I thought you said she didn't say much.
-Loves me!? She hasn't said a kind word about me in years!
-Right. She doesn't stop talking about you. You're always on her mind. That's love, Jake.
-She hates me, Louis.
-You should go back to her.
-What? She threw me out, remember. She wanted some professor to carry her far away from Brooklyn. Only we didn't make it. She can't forgive me that she still lives in the same house she grew up in.
-Her problem is that you spent eight years getting a PhD and then went to work for the post office.
-What can I tell you, Louis? After Nam I didn't want to think anymore. I decided my brain was too small an organ to comprehend this chaos.
-If it was any other brain but yours, I might agree. Relax, this is going to be strong.
-I can't relax.
-God almighty. What did you do to me?
-I had to get in there. A deep adjustment. Rest a moment and let it set a bit.
-I had this weird flash just then.
-What?
-I don't know. I've been having them recently. You know, you look like an angel, Louis, an overgrown cherub. Anyone ever tell you that?
-Yeah. You. Every time I see you. No more Errol Flynn, okay? Your back won't take it. You tell your girl friend to calm down if she knows what's good for you.
-Louis, you're a life saver.
-Half an hour from now and you'll be walking out of here all by yourself. Mark my words. Well, you've done it to yourself this time, haven't you?
-Am I dead, Louis? Am I dead?
-From a slipped disc? That'd be a first.
-I was in Hell. I've been there. It's horrible. I don't want to die, Louis.
-Well, I'll see what I can do about it.
-I've seen it. It's all pain.
-Perfect. We got it. Okay. Let's just give it a little try. See if you can stand.
-What? By myself?
-What are you doing?
-There's something I've gotta take care of, Louis.
-What are you talking about? You can barely stand.
-I'm walking, aren't I?
-Jake, you need to rest.
-Are you in the service?
-The postal service. I'm a mailman.
-Ah. Neither snow nor sleet, nor dark of night ... I always admired that.
-It's good to see you.
-And how is your wife? Sarah, no?
-I haven't seen her in months.
-Ah!
-I'm with another woman now. We're both with the post office, Midtown, 34th Street branch.
-Hmm. I don't suppose there are too many philosophers in the post office?
-Oh, you'd be surprised. They just don't have their doctorates, that's all.
-Last I heard you were offered a posi- tion in the West somewhere. Tuscon was it?
-Oh, that goes way back. They had a hiring freeze, one of those last min- ute things. Bad timing for me though. Middle of the war. The draft. I'll tell you Prof, after Viet Nam ... I didn't want to think anymore. I decided my brain was just too small an organ to comprehend this chaos.
-Jacob, if it was any other brain but yours, I might agree. Tell me, does your lady friend know what a brilliant thinker, what a sub- lime intellect she's living with?
-I doubt it's my mind that interests her. I tell you Prof, she's a fiery lady.
-I've got a problem, Prof. More Augus- tine than Kierkegaard, if you know what I mean. I need to know about ... demons.
-Demons, Jacob? Why demons? Are you writing ... ?
-No. I see them.
-See them? What do you mean? Physically?
-I know very little about demons, Ja- cob, fleshy ones anyway. I know them as literary figures, biblical ones ... Dante, Milton ... but Jacob, this is the 20th Century. We don't see demons now.
-Christ, I know how it sounds.
-Have you considered a doctor? A psy- chiatrist?
-Yes. I don't want them. I'm not looking for analysis or drugs. It's too easy to dismiss as some kind of psychosis. It's more than that. I can feel it. I need you Prof. You're the only one I can talk to.
-I don't know what to say.
-Demons? I don't know what to tell you. It sounds like a spiritual mat- ter to me. The problem, Jacob, is that you have no context for it. You're a renegade Existentialist suf- fering demons a hundred years after Freud. How the hell am I supposed to make it fit?
-I'm afraid, Prof. Nothing makes sense. Please help me.
-Jacob, I don't believe in demons, not in the empirical sense. I don't be- lieve in devils fighting for our souls. I don't believe in enternal damnation. I don't believe in other- worldly creatures tormenting us. We don't need them. We do a good enough job on ourselves.
-But I see them.
-Look. I don't pretend to know what's going on inside your head. For all I know it's pathological and they should be pumping Valium into your veins by the quart. But if you're not willing to accept the help of sci- ence; and believe me, I admire you for that: then you'll have to do bat- tle on your own. What can I say?
-Hell, you think I am?
-I'd like to speak to Dr. Carlson, please.
-Carlson? Is he new here?
-Not according to my charts. Do you have an appointment?
-Look, I need to see him. I know where his room is. Just give me a pass. I won't be long. Ten minutes.
-Our doctors are seen by appointment only.
-Damn it. I was in the veteran's out- patient program. He knows me.
-What's your name?
-I'm sorry but there's no record of a Jacob Singer in our files.
-Whataya mean, no record?
-You want me to spell it out? There's nothing here.
-That's ridiculous. I've been coming here for years. Listen to me. I'm going out of my fucking mind here. I need to see him.
-If this is an emergency we have a staff of psychiatric social workers. There's about an hour's wait. I'll be glad to take your name. Why don't you just fill out this form?
-What was that?
-It's freezing.
-I'm not cold.
-Of course not. You have all the blankets. It must be ten degrees in here. I'm telling you, Sarah, if you want to sleep with fresh air, you sleep on the fire escape. From now on that window is closed.
-It's not healthy with it closed.
-What a dream I was having. I was living with another woman ... You know who it was?
-I don't want to know.
-Jezebel, from the post office. You remember, you met her that time at the Christmas party. I was living with her. God, it was a nightmare. There were all these demons and I was on fire. Only I was burning from ice.
-Guilty thoughts. See what happens when you cheat on me, even in your mind?
-She was good in bed, though.
-Go to sleep.
-She had these real beefy thighs. Delicious.
-I'm not dead. I am not dead.
-Jacob, what can I do?
-My back. I can't move. I need my chiropractor.
-They stole it.
-Who did?
-I don't know. Santa Claus. I had my son's picture in it. Gabe's picture. It's the only one I had.
-I'm going to have to move you a bit, just to check for injuries. This may hurt a little.
-I don't have to ask if you can feel that.
-Jake, is that you?
-What the hell did you do, move all the furniture?
-Why didn't you turn on the light?
-I didn't want to wake you.
-Gee, thanks a lot.
-Where is the lamp?
-Where are you?
-If I knew I wouldn't have to ask. What did you do? I was happy the way it was.
-I moved the couch. That's all.
-That help?
-What do you think?
-What do you mean?
-The room!
-Oh God, Jezzie, ask me tomorrow.
-It is tomorrow. Four A.M. How come you're so late?
-Roberts didn't show up. What could I say? Besides, it's double time.
-What happened to you?
-You up?
-No. Have you seen my glasses?
-Where'd you leave 'em?
-I don't know.
-Did you look around the headboard?
-Jezzie, I can't see.
-Thanks. What's that?
-Your kid dropped it off.
-Who? Jed?
-No. The little one.
-Eli. Why can't you remember their names?
-They're weird names.
-They're Biblical. They were prophets.
-Well, personally, I never went for church names.
-And where do you think Jezebel comes from?
-I don't let anybody call me that.
-You're a real heathen, you know that, Jezzie? Jesus, how did I ever get involved with such a ninny?
-You sold your soul, remember? That's what you told me.
-Yeah, but for what?
-A good lay.
-And look what I got.
-The best.
-I must have been out of my head.
-Jake, you are never out of your head!
-What's in here?
-Look at these, will ya? I don't believe it. Jesus, these are fantastic. Look, here's my Dad ... And here's my brother, when we were down in Florida.
-Lemme see.
-Here. Look. This is me and Sarah when I was still at City College.
-That's Sarah? I can see what you mean.
-What?
-Why you left.
-What do you mean you can see?
-Look at her face. A real bitch.
-She looked good then.
-Not to me.
-Is that the one who died?
-Wait. Don't.
-I don't like things that make you cry.
-Ready?
-Jake!
-I'm going home.
-What's wrong?
-I don't know. One of these days, I'm gonna see Louis. My back's killing me.
-Well, I'll miss riding home with you. I was looking forward to it.
-I'll be glad to avoid the crush.
-Maybe it's all the pressure, Jake. The money. Things like that. Or your wife.
-Why do you bring her up?
-'Cause she's always on your mind.
-When was the last time I said a word?
-It's still there, Jake. Even if you never say a word about it. You can't spend two years in Vietnam ...
-What does that have to do with anything? Does it explain the barricaded subway stations? Does it explain those Godforsaken creatures?
-New York is filled with creatures. Everywhere. And lots of stations are closed.
-They're like demons, Jez.
-Demons, Jake? Come on. They're winos and bag ladies. Low life. That's all they are. The streets are crawling with 'em. Don't make em into somethin' they're not. It's the pressure, honey. That's all it is.
-Those guys tried to kill me tonight. They were aiming right at me.
-Kids on a joy ride. Happens all the time.
-They weren't human!
-You okay?
-I wanna leave. Get me out of here.
-Oh, come on. It's early.
-Where are we?
-We're at Della's.
-Where?
-What do you mean? Where do you think?
-Where's Della? Bring her here?
-Why? What for?
-Show me Della!
-Can't you stop it?
-What's it say? A hundred and two?
-What does it say?
-It's gone to the top.
-How high is that?
-What the hell are you doin'?
-Get your clothes off.
-What are you talking about? I'm freezing.
-What'd the doctor say?
-He's coming right over.
-Coming here?
-You're out of your mind. I'm not getting in there. I'd rather die.
-That's your decision.
-Look at me. I'm ice cold.
-I can't do it.
-Don't gimme that.
-Lie down!
-Jezzie! My feet are throbbing!
-Sam, Tony, come in here.
-Help me! Help me!
-Jake. You're gonna be all right, Jake. You're gonna be fine.
-Am I home?
-You're here. Home. The doctor said you're lucky your brains didn't boil. What a night, Jake. It was crazy. You kept sayin' "Sarah, close the window," over and over. And talkin' to your kids. Even the dead one. Weird. You know you melted 200 pounds of ice in 8 hours. Amazing, huh?
-Are we in Brooklyn?
-You know, you really ought to get out today. You can't just sit around like this all the time. It's not healthy. It's not good for your mind. Go take a walk, or somethin'. Go to a movie. Christ, who's gonna know? You think I care? I don't give a shit. Go. Enjoy yourself. One of us should be having a good time. Hello!
-Look, I'm horny. Keep it in mind. Love me a little?
-So tell me ... am I still an angel?
-We're all angels, you know ... ... and devils. It's just what you choose to see.
-I love you, Jez.
-I know.
-Underneath all the bullshit, just love.
-Remember that.
-You know what? I feel ... exorcised ... like the demons are gone.
-How come? The army?
-I put a frozen dinner in the oven, a Manhandler. It'll be ready at a quarter of. I threw a little salad together. It's in the fridge. I also bought some apple juice, Red Cheek. Don't drink it all. Oh, and Jake, your lawyer called.
-He did? When?
-While you were in the shower.
-Why didn't you call me?
-He didn't give me a chance. Look, honey, don't get upset, but he's not taking your case.
-What? What do you mean?
-He said you didn't have one.
-What's he talking about?
-I don't know. That's all he said. He wasn't very friendly. Oh, yeah. He said your buddies backed down. They chickened out, he said.
-I don't believe this.
-It's just me.
-Jezzie?
-Who else were you expecting?
-Let go!
-Where were you, Jake? Where've you been? Why haven't you called?
-Stay away from me, Jez.
-I want to know. You tell me!
-Why are you doing this to me? You can't just go away like that.
-Don't!
-It might be for me.
-I'm not here. You haven't seen me.
-Who was that?
-A chemist. Part of a chemical warfare unit out of Saigon. He said he knows me and that I'll know him when I see him.
-How?
-I have no idea. I was right. There were experiments. I knew it. I knew it. My God.
-What are you doing here? Are you all right? How do you expect to pay for this? Everyone's looking for you, Jake. I dodged people all over the place, reporters, police. I don't know what you're gonna do.
-I'm gonna make love to you. That's what I'm gonna do.
-Are you out of your mind?
-Yep. Finally. I love you, Jez.
-God, I can't keep up with all your changes.
-Me neither.
-It's amazing, you know, that a drug could change things like that, destroy a life and then give it back. It's hard to believe that the world could be so hellish on day and like heaven the next.
-I tell you, it was so wonderful. I felt like a little boy. I saw Paradise, Jezzie.
-This is one of my dreams, Jake. Ever since I was a little girl. I never thought it would happen.
-I want to go with you, Jake. Wherever you go.
-It's not practical, Jez. It'll be hard enough alone.
-I can waitress. I'm good.
-No. Things are too hot. Later. I'll send for you.
-Bullshit!
-I promise.
-Please.
-No. I'm a marked man, Jez. I'm the only one left. I don't want to expose you to that. It's not right for you or me. Be reasonable.
-Reasonable? Reasonable? Jake ... You're gettin' me angry.
-I love you when you're angry.
-What're you ... ? Where's Sarah? Where are the boys?
-Sit down, Jake.
-Where are they?
-Sit down.
-No! What's going on? Where's my family?
-It's over, Jake. It's all over.
-Where have they gone?
-What's going on?
-What's wrong, Jake? Forget to take your antidote?
-Who are you? What are you doing to me?
-WHO ARE YOU?
-How many times have you asked me that? How many times?
-TELL ME, DAMN YOU!
-So tell me ... am I still an angel?
-It's going to be all right, Jake. It's going to be all right. Don't be afraid. I've got you now.
-Why won't you answer me?
-Cause you know goddamn well who I am.
-I don't know you.
-You've lived with me for two years.
-That doesn't mean shit. Where do you come from, huh? And I don't mean Indiana.
-What do you want me to say? My mother's tummy?
-You know goddamn well what I mean.
-You're out of your fucking mind. I'm not gonna stand around here gettin' interrogated by you.
-Well leave then. Go to Hell.
-What'd you do that for? It's an in- teresting story. All these people are still disappearing. Right off the street. Hey, what's wrong? Are you all right?
-I'm okay. I just don't want to lis- ten.
-You look upset.
-I'm not upset.
-Jake, what is it?
-I'm tired.
-You look terrible. What happened? Jake ... is it the antidote?
-Goddamn it. Why do you say that?
-Look at yourself. You look like you've seen a ghost.
-Shit! Can't I just have a bad day?
-You can have anything you want.
-Then don't bug me.
-I'm not bugging you. Come and lie down. I'll give you a massage. Where'd you go today?
-Mid-town mostly.
-Oh yeah? What was happenin' there?
-I picked up my ticket. I'm leaving in the morning, Jez.
-Oh? Where you going?
-West.
-Where's West? New Jersey?
-Don't be funny.
-I always liked the West, west of Il- linois anyway. But you gotta give me time to pack.
-Stop it, Jez. Don't do that.
-Do what? I haven't done a thing.
-Where's Sarah? Where are the boys?
-Sit down, Jake.
-Where are they?
-Sit down!
-No! What's going on? Where's my family?
-It's over, Jake. It's all over.
-Where have they gone?
-This isn't happening.
-Oh God!
-What's wrong, Jake? Forget to take your antidote?
-Goddamn you!
-WHO ARE YOU?
-How many times have you asked me that? How many times?
-TELL ME, DAMN YOU!
-Surprised, huh? I told you you'd know me. I've been tracking you for a long time. I just wish I'd spoken to you before tonight.
-I don't get it. Who are you? Why have you been following me?
-So first I'm arrested, right? Best LSD I ever made, right down the drain. I figure this is it, twenty years in the joint, if I'm lucky. That was '68.
-Long time ago.
-Next thing I know I'm on Rikers Island. Ever been there? Suddenly they take me from my cell to the visitors room with those bank teller windows, you know. Four army colonels, medals up their asses, are standing on the other side. They tell me if I'll come to Vietnam for two years, no action, mind you, just work in a lab, they'll drop
-Shows how much you knew.
-No shit. They had me by the balls. Next thing I know I'm in Saigon ... in a secret lab synthesizing mind- altering drugs. Not the street stuff mind you. They had us isolating special properties. The dark side, you know? They wanted a drug that increased aggressive tendencies.
-Yeah, sure. We were losing the war.
-Right. They were worried. They figured you guys were too soft. They wanted something to stir you up, tap into your anger, you know? And we did it. The most powerful thing I ever saw. Even a bad trip, and I had my share, never compared to the fury of the Ladder.
-The Ladder?
-Anyway, this big offensive was coming up. Everyone knew it; Time Magazine, Huntley-Brinkley. And the brass was scared 'cause they knew we couldn't win. Morale was down. It was gettin' ugly in the States. Hell, you remember.
-Like it was yesterday.
-None of us can remember that night. I get flashes of it but they don't make sense. We saw shrinks for years. But nothing they did could ever touch it. What happened? Was there ever an offensive?
-A couple of days later. It was fierce. You guys never saw it.
-But there was an attack. I can still see them coming. There was a fight, wasn't there?
-Yeah. But not with the Cong.
-I always suspected the effects might come back. That's why I had to follow you. I had a hell of a time getting hold of your records.
-If you knew, why didn't you say anything?
-The truth can kill, my friend. Five hundred men died out there. This isn't a story they'd ever want out. When Paul's car blew up I realized the scope of the thing. I knew they meant business.
-So why tell me now?
-You come here often?
-Sometimes. When it's convenient.
-How do I know this isn't just some kind of, you know, seduction or something?
-I came up with the formula back in Nam but I never got a chance to use it.
-Never?
-I'd hoped I'd never have to. Just open your mouth and stick out your tongue.
-What is it?
-Don't worry. Take it. It'll free your head. Come on.
-I don't know.
-"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil," but no one ever said I wouldn't be shittin' in my pants every step of the way, huh? Stick out your tongue. That'a boy. Now why don't you just lie down and relax.
-One drop?
-I think I'm falling asleep.
-I can't move.
-Just relax.
-And no more demons. I told you they'd be gone.
-I don't believe this. It's a miracle, Michael. A miracle.
-It was paradise, Michael. You showed it to me. You were there.
-Well that's good to know.
-Mike, it was real. It was glorious.
-Glorious. I'm not surprised. I fed you enough of that stuff to send a horse to heaven. I'm just glad you came back.
-I would have stayed there if I could.
-Here. I've got every credit card ever printed. Take this. Stay here till you can arrange to get away. It's on me.
-No. I couldn't.
-What? You want the Plaza? Don't be foolish. Here. Take this, too. This is my place on Prince Street. It's got my phone, everything. Call if you need me ... but you won't. Everything's gonna work out. You just get outta town as fast as you can. The New York police can be effective when they want to be.
-I don't know what to say.
-Excuse me, do you know if we've passed Nostrand Avenue yet? Excuse me. Look, I'm asking a simple question. Have we hit Nostrand Avenue? I fell asleep.
-I no from around here.
-How 'bout over there? No wait. Do me a favor. Bring 'em to the back room.
-They're awfully heavy.
-Where's Wong?
-How was Palm Springs?
-Hot. Where do I sign?
-You got a nice tan, though.
-No. I'll take the other one. Right. Well it's good to have you back. See you tomorrow, probably.
-He's burning up.
-Total delirium.
-That's some gash. His guts keep spilling out.
-Push 'em back.
-Throw that torch away, young man. Give yourself up. You're under arrest.
-For what? For seeking the truth?
-Please come quietly.
-You come near me and I'll blow us all up.
-Clear the area. This is an order!
-Dream on!
-He's burning up.
-Total delirium.
-He'll never make it.
-That's some gash. His guts keep spilling out.
-Push 'em back.
-I'll page him.
-Call my chiropractor.
-We're doing everything we can.
-Well, don't we look better this morning? That was a hard night, wasn't it?
-Where am I?
-Lennox Hospital.
-I'm awake?
-You look awake to me. Here. Drink some of this.
-Where's Sarah? Where did she go? She was here ...
-No. No. You haven't had any visitors.
-That's a lie. My family was here.
-I'm sorry.
-This is not a dream! This is my life.
-Hello.
-Jacob Singer?
-Speaking.
-Paul Gruneger!
-Paul! You son-of-a-bitch, how the hell are you? I haven't seen you in what, five, six, years?
-A long time.
-Jesus Christ. How've you been? What's happening in your life?
-Nothin' much.
-Me neither. Nothing too exciting. So tell me, to what do I owe the honor?
-I need to see you, Jake.
-Shit, Paul. I'd love to see you. But I'm kind of laid up here. I've been sick.
-Jesus, man, you look terrific. You must have put on twenty pounds.
-I work in a bakery.
-You're lucky. How many vets you know are even employed?
-Count 'em on one hand.
-It's almost like a conspiracy, huh?
-No joke. Fuckin' army! That goddamn war. I'm still fightin' it.
-It's not worth it. You'll never win.
-Still married, Jake?
-Nope.
-You and everybody else. God I hate this area. Makes me nervous.
-Why the hell we drivin' here?
-I just need to talk.
-You can't talk in Brownsville?
-I'm not sure where I can talk anymore.
-What's wrong?
-Let's get a couple drinks, okay? Hey, take a look behind us. Do you think that car is followin' us?
-That black car?
-Pull the mirror down on the sun visor. Just watch 'em.
-What's goin' on Paul?
-I don't know.
-You in trouble?
-That's as straight as I can put it. And don't tell me that I'm crazy 'cause I know I'm not. I'm goin' to Hell. They're comin' after me.
-Who is?
-Sorry. Sometimes I think I'm just gonna jump outta my skin. They're just drivin' me wild.
-Who, Paul? What exactly ... ?
-I don't know who they are, or what they are. But they're gonna get me and I'm scared, Jake. I'm so scared I can't do anything. I can't go to my sisters. I can't even go home.
-Why not?
-It's okay, Paul. It's okay.
-I don't know what to do.
-Don't do anything. Paul, I know what you're talking about.
-What do you mean?
-I've seen them too ... the demons!
-You've seen them?
-Everywhere, like a plague.
-God almighty. I thought I was the only one.
-Me, too. I had no idea. It's like I was coming apart at the seams.
-Oh God. I know. I know.
-What is it Paul? What's happening to me?
-They keep telling me I'm already dead, that they're gonna tear me apart, piece by piece, and throw me into the fire. I carry these everywhere but they don't help. Nothing helps. Everyone thinks I'm crazy. My mother filed a report with the army.
-The army?
-She said I haven't been the same since then. Since that night. There's still this big hole in my brain. It's so dark in there, Jake. And these creatures. It's like they're crawling out of my brain. What happened that night? Why won't they tell us?
-I don't know. I don't know.
-I'm afraid to go by myself anymore. I keep thinkin' one of 'em's gonna come up behind me. Somethin's wrong when a guy can't even take a leak by himself. I've seen 'em take people right off the street. I used to go home a different way every night. Now I can't even go home.
-You come home with me.
-What about your girlfriend? You don't think she'll mind?
-Can I help you?
-I'm so sorry. Obviously you haven't ... Dr. Carlson died.
-Died?
-A car accident.
-Jesus, Jesus! ... When?
-Last month, before Thanksgiving.
-How did it happen?
-No one knows. They say it blew up.
-Do you want me to get someone?
-I have some ice from the machine.
-Bring it in.
-Is he all right?
-He doesn't like it.
-I don't blame him. What should I do with the ice?
-Pour it in.
-On top of him?
-He's melting it as fast as we dump it in.
-Watch it punk, I'm armed.
-That's nine to four, geek-boy.
-You got lucky.
-You got lucky. I could have waited until he ate your head.
-That sucks. Why won't he go down?
-He's not part of the program.
-Asshole that does not count as a kill.
-Yes it does.
-Okay, enough of this shit.
-I don't have all day, kid.
-Duck fuckers?
-Forget the bridge, the shuttle's waiting!
-Just make a break for the door. He'll get some of us, but that's the breaks.
-We're not leaving Crutch!
-Goodbye old friend.
-Okay, he was a great guy, now let's move out.
-It's locked!
-What are you doing?!!
-If the ship goes, so does Jaso.
-Rizzo pull the fucking lever!
-What's that?
-When the left hull goes, so will the right.
-We can't lead him into the other hull!
-Can we blow it with just two?
-His mother?
-What?
-Minimal.
-The ship's depressurizing, the engines overheating. When it reaches the core, we're done.
-Hurry up, guys. We've got the rescue ship on radar.
-Remember, stay calm, use your thrusters. We'll be fine.
-Damnit to hell, you left me back there to die!
-Sergeant? We thought you were...
-Bomb?
-Blowing the walkway? You come up with that yourself?
-Can't shut em' down from here.
-Sergeant!
-Uh-oh.
-What?!
-Okay that hurt.
-Where have you been?!!
-Where the hell were you?!!
-Creepy.
-Nice touch.
-You see that?
-Better let me.
-Everyone okay?
-Shit!
-The hull's imploding!
-We're not supposed to do that.
-I'll need system four converters.
-Hey! I'm not ready.
-Thorgan, quit screwing around and come on!
-Kay-Em!
-As long as they're connected we can blow them all simultaneously from a safe distance.
-Done!
-Goodbye, my love.
-Thorgan, suit up.
-Brodski! Get to Lab two. We have an emergency!
-We'd need charges.
-How many?
-I think I speak on behalf of the group when I say this is bad news.
-Where is...?
-I'd say we have about ten minutes tops.
-Then what do we do?!
-Hurry!
-It bought us some time.
-Earth II.
-Boeman, the ships not here.
-Use the thrusters and you'll be fine. We'll huddle together out there.
-Get them in the lab!
-My god! This is way over your head, pal. We need to call some experts and . . .
-I am an expert!
-You're a teacher.
-Brodski I'll talk slow so you can understand me. She's thawing. If we don't get her to the lab, she'll die, and that will be on your bald fucking head!
-How do you know that piece of cursed rock down there doesn't carry something metal tits can't detect?
-Well, when we rejuvenate this one you can ask her.
-Damnit, Yllo! I don't like it.
-I don't give a shit. This one's prime for decryonization. We're brining her back.
-I still think we should send for a team of real scientists.
-I am a scientist you asshole! This could be the most important discovery in 400 years. Do you have any idea what a find like this could mean?
-Jesus what the hell is that?
-What the hell are you doing?
-My job.
-Wait a minute...I need...
-Yllo, what's your head count?
-ALL I'm saying is dock with Space Lab, couple of hours no more. Let them take a look at our friends.
-Not a chance.
-JUst don't go in there half cocked. You guys have a tendency to blow shit up and ask questions later.
-Got it! Let's move out girls. Yllo go to Lab two and cover out backs.
-Yeah, I got ya. I don't see anything inside though.
-You just keep an eye out.
-Ok Sarge, what's your status?
-wHAT'S My status?! I've lost three men and your worthless fuck! After I kill this asshole I'm coming your Yllo!
-Sergeant!
-I'm with you kid.
-Where is he?
-Lab two, relax. What's the matter? He's dead.
-He's dead. They're both dead. You don't understand what is on this ship. This is a being that kills. That's what he does. That's all he does. And he is very good at it.
-I doubt that. I think we can handle whatever your ancient hockey player can throw at us.
-I need to know what you know about this guy.
-Don't go out there. You can't win. We need to get off this ship. That's all there is to it.
-We need weapons.
-Jesus, God!
-Report to weapons. We're going on a hunt.
-You sumbitch! Three dead! On my watch! If that...that thing is out there, it's dead! You got it!!!
-Fuckin A...
-Kicker, anything?
-Jesus, Sarge, what is this thing?
-Where is everybody? What happened?
-Damnit! You scared the hell out of me!
-Give me a break! What happened?
-Jason. He's what happened. Then Grendel hit Space Lab.
-Space Lab?! Wait'll I get my hands on Yllo.
-Yllo's dead. We...we thought you were too.
-Pull me in!
-Where are you going?
-You just need to relax. Rizzo ti's the future. We have soldiers on board, E-X Grunts, the baddest of the bad...and their weapons? I'm sure are slightly more advanced than what you're used to.
-Outta here?
-Rizzo, he's out there.
-Well, I'm not hanging out here with Ms. Showtunes.
-Don't just stand there! Shoot him!
-Kkinsa, open the goddamn door!
-Kkinsa, Crutch is hurt! We need access to the shuttle's med-kit or he'll die.
-Med-kit?
-We're screwed!
-What if you miss?
-Rizzo?!
-Hey.
-That's a good fantasy, though. Kinky, but good.
-What's this?
-That's why I'm here.
-My father's company imports and exports. Archaeology is part of the business. We happen to get along just fine, smartass. Look, why don't you bust somebody else's balls for a change.
-I thought you meant...
-Jason seemed to have the right stuff. Physically, anyway. Radiation, cell damage, didn't matter. He just kept going.
-They were all wrong. They couldn't control him.
-I couldn't save them.
-See? We're not so bad.
-You know, this future shit sucks. I'll fucking do it.
-You?
-Got it. You ever space walked?
-His mother was killed before his eyes. That's what drove him insane. It'll work.
-That sounds like Rizzo having faith in some of that future shit.
-You wanna release your air tanks?
-Okay, good tip.
-Rizzo, you okay?
-No I'm not okay! I don't know what the hell I'm doing!
-Rizzo, did they have chinese food in your time?
-I think I had some when I was eight.
-Did you like it?
-Delongpre, you don't even know me.
-Rizzo, pull away!
-You okay?!
-Oh great...yeah, having a great time, and you?
-No thank you, you crazy old woman.
-Old woman?
-Well I mean, technically you are old enough to be my great, great, great...
-Now what?
-It's time.
-What about the others? Shouldn't we wait?
-Spunky . . .
-Well?
-She needs a little time.
-That's really funny.
-I'd want her statements before we reach porch. Jesus, women.
-God damnit! Will you stop doing that?!
-Shut up! She just wants this thing dead!
-We must assume the machete was an intricate part of the game of hockey.
-I'm thinking Rizzo was right.
-Thinking with your dick again, Delongpre?
-Maybe we should go with them. Like you said, your Space Lab connections can deal with this thing. At least we'll be safe.
-Now hold on! We should hear her out!
-Yuck.
-Go-go-go-go-go!!!!
-I feel better. Now how do you fire this damn thing?
-It's on the table where I left it! What the hell are you doing?! Hurry up!
-Kaboom.
-Okay?!!
-I'll help you in.
-Oh, shit. He's going to see us.
-He's trying to ask you out on a date.
-Push off toward us.
-I...I don't know what I did...
-You lost the charge?
-They're not gonna make it. Close the door before he gets us all.
-They'll make it.
-Close the fucking door!
-And what's with the headgear?
-Now that's just gross.
-Now this is getting exciting.
-You must shut down the engines.
-I knew you were a little sick, but Geez.
-I'm missing two!
-Hey teach! This rock's starting to freeze! Get your ass back hre!
-Oh my God . . . what the hell is . . .
-Fat Lou, we're changing courses for the Solaras Space Lab.
-I'll need the sergeant's okay on that.
-We've got a situation here! Just do as you're told!
-Alright, relax. 20 minutes. Soon as we've passed Tara's rings we'll make the course correction.
-This is what it means right here.
-I'm gonna spew.
-You think it killed . . . Yeah, I guess not.
-Hurry! She's lost it!
-You read a lot of Science Fiction didn't you?
-YeaH, GREAT IDEA! And I'll keep the big guy distracted with a blow job.
-You're so bossy.
-You're quicker than usual.
-Later.
-Jesus!
-Look ice chip, why don't you just chill out and let us handle this?
-What are you doing?
-What do we do?!!
-I'll tell you where he is. He's walking around this ship, killing anything that moves.
-Boeman don't. You know I'm right.
-No.
-Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
-I'm just saying.
-I don't know...sorry?
-Robot huh?
-Kay-em 14.
-Barbie from hell...
-Cybernetics science droid, fluent in over six...
-Yeah 3cpo, I saw STAR WARS, now how about you help me get out of this coffin, Barbie...
-I'm surrounded by idiots.
-No... That's the sound of the men working on the chain gang.
-Sumbitch won't be giving us anymore trouble.
-You killed him?
-The air's laced with type two ozone, it reads as a solid.
-Somebody wanted the place to stay hidden.
-The cryo unit leaked. The computers sealed the room. No airborne viruses no hazardous materials. I've shut down the until. Alright, stand back.
-I didn't say I was good at it.
-I'll never experience my fantasy of three sex droids, two humans, and a Knofflapod. Damn.
-Am I in there?
-It's just you and me, then.
-Almost done.
-Ow!
-Oh, hush. I disengaged your pain programming.
-Sorry, sorry.
-Who are you apologizing to?
-Do I have to?
-Yes, I've reprogrammed you. You are very brave. Bad ass.
-Kay-Em, you okay?
-You did good, Kay-Em. I'm proud of you.
-Kay-Em we made it!
-Kay-em you okay?
-I am now. I missed you, Thorgan.
-I missed you too.
-Yo, Teach, what the fuck?
-We're missing two of the kids!
-Fat Lou, bring the ship to the following coordinates. Call Grendel, have them power up the labs, we're bringing in the find of the century!
-Now wait a minute! I don't think you should open that door.
-Kicker!
-Leave him behind!
-I don't understand...what does he want?
-What?
-How do you know?
-Something's wrong.
-The power's back up!
-Then open the doors!
-Damn! Close the door! I'll be right back.
-What?!!
-I gotta go back.
-You son of a bitch, you know what time it is?
-I'm sending you the files.
-Yeah, yeah if this is another ancient Farrari . . .
-Trust me. I'm bypassing regular channels. See what kind of payday we're looking at.
-Hypothetically, how much are we talking?
-If you're for real, you're looking at a million credits for viewing rights alone. Doesn't include touring and guest lectures. When can you get them here?
-I'll reset our course . . . 3 hours?
-Where..? Who . . .? I'm alive. You brought me back.
-How did I get here, how did you bring me back?
-Nanotechnology.
-Nano...but nanotechnology is impossible.
-We've had Nano-Tech for the last 30 years.
-Now lay back we need to do some tests and I have some questions...
-We need to do some tests...I'd like to ask you a few questions.
-But...I...400 years?
-Jason? He's on this ship?!
-Of course he is. He's the most relevant find in 400 years...except for you, of course. Look if you're worried about PR don't be. You're walking and talking. He's a stiff. You'll get the publicity.
-Jason! Can't you see? He did this.
-Impossible! He was dead before he entered Cryo-statis. There is no possible way he could be alive.
-Azrael can you repeat that?
-That's ridiculous. You're overreacting.
-You're not going anywhere.
-You wanna die?
-What good will that do?
-They can deal with this sort of thing.
-More soldiers?
-Scientists. Very intellegent men.
-Guys, please come with me!
-How do you open the damn door?
-It's okay, he just wanted his machete.
-The hockey player? He a friend of yours?
-Hockey player? He's not a ...
-He's dead! Everyone's dead! Old Earth is dead!
-What have you done?
-So, you're saying thse guys have like, lasers and stuff? They could hack him to pieces?
-Yes!
-Listen to me. Please. Let's get off thsi ship. Come with me.
-Can we get through these?
-Guys, he's right behind us!
-Cut my hand. Hit by a vampire.
-Son! -- Out of the water now!
-My boat's neat, dad!
-You're not going to the ocean with that, are you son?
-I'm all checked out for light surf and look at it.
-Do me this favor just once. Use the ponds.
-Dad, the ponds are for old ladies.
-Just a favor for your old man.
-My cars. And a comic book.
-Did you bring a check?
-What?
-Cash? Or do we do this on a handshake and a promise?
-I'm authorized by the township of Amity to hire you as an independent contractor. We'll meet your price. $10,000.
-And my regular daily rate -- $200, whether we catch him or not.
-You got it.
-And incidental damages, if any...
-You got it.
-And you get the Mayor off my back with this zoning crap. Nobody tells me how to run my property.
-You got it.
-And, uh, a case of apricot brandy and you buy the lunch.
-Two cases. And dinner when you land.
-This is Matt Hooper...
-I know who he is...
-Hey. Knock it off. I don't want to have to listen to this while we're out there...
-What do you mean 'We...?'
-It's my charter. My party.
-All right, Commissioner. But when we're on my ship, I am Master, Mate and Pilot. And I want him... ...along for ballast.
-Keep that chum line going -- we've got five good miles. Don't break it.
-Who's driving the boat?
-Why are we way out here, when the shark's back there?
-You got it?
-The wire's showing!
-What's the point with hooks and Lines? --
-How -- if they're gonna keep on breaking?
-I never saw one that big.
-Why don't we go in? Get another crack at him tomorrow.
-Let's call in -- we can radio and have a big boat here in an hour...
-Look a' that -- Bayonet Iwo Jima.
-C'mon. Middle appendix --
-What's that one, there?
-He's busting the shaft! Start the pump!
-Where...?
-That's it! Radio in for help!
-Shut up! Just pump her out!
-Did you get him in the head?
-What about us?
-He can't stay down with three barrels on him! Where is he?!
-Have you ever had one do this?
-He's trying to sink us!
-He's chasing us! I don't believe it.
-He's comin' up -- !
-How come the sun didn't used to shine in here?
-Right.
-Do you see the kids?
-Probably out in the back yard.
-In Amity, you say 'Yahd.'
-The kids are in the yahd, playing near the cah. How's that sound?
-Like you're from N'Yawk.
-Did you burn another kettle? Y'know you're a fire hazard? This is the third one!
-I never hear the whistle.
-You want to go through those? I'm taking them to the Thrift Shop. It's Marcia Vaughn's pet charity. Pick out what you want to keep -- it's mostly your city clothes.
-I used to wear this to the Garden. Garbage strikes. Dog shit. Muggers. Ship it.
-Don't forget these.
-Oh, yeah. How do I look? Older, huh?
-Sexy, hm? What was I before?
-Older, sillier.
-Be careful.
-Love ya.
-You're very tight, y'know? Right there.
-Can you stand something to eat?
-Mikey loves his birthday present.
-Where is he?
-It's three feet deep, Martin
-Michael! Come inside!
-It's his birthday present, and you closed the beach, Honey. I told him not to go in the water after what happened yesterday. I don't believe he'll ever do it again.
-How come you have to tell them that?
-You too, sweetheart...
-Why don't we have one more drink, you and I, and then we go down and cut open that old shark and see for sure what's inside him, or not.
-Can you do that?
-Home... New York?
-Colorful, isn't he?
-You going to be all right?
-Nothing to worry about -- I'll survive this.
-Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.
-What'll I tell the kids?
-Martin! Are you going to shut down the beach on your own authority?
-Now tell me something I don't know.
-All I'm saying is that Amity is a summer town -- we need summer dollars, and if they can't swim here, they'll use the beaches at Cape Cod, or Long Island.
-I don't think you can appreciate the gut reaction people have to these things.
-I can't work in a vacuum. Why don't you make Hendricks Chief? His family's been here since the Puritans -- half this island are his cousins.
-I'll get to that in a minute. First, I plan to start our seasonal summer help early, and to use shark spotters on beaches open to the sea. I'd like cooperation from local fishermen, and I've also contacted the Oceanographic Institute over on the mainland.
-Only 24 hours!
-Larry, if you'd see these clowns leave, you'd never believe they'd come back with anything. But they got him!
-That's good. That's real good. Ben Meadows getting pictures for the paper.
-Who's that young man?
-Matt Hooper, the specialist they send down from the Oceanographic Institute.
-Why not, Larry? We could get a positive confirmation that way.
-She's right.
-Let's all get out of here, this place stinks.
-He lost it on the way up.
-We have got to close the beaches. We have got to get someone to kill the shark, we need non-corrosive mesh netting, we need scientific support... It's gonna cost money just to keep the nuts out and save what we have.
-You'd love to prove that. Getting your name in the National Geographic.
-Larry, we can re-open the beaches in August.
-Got a pen on you?
-Why?
-There's only one thing you're good for anymore -- signing a damn voucher. Here. It's an authorization to employ a contractor.
-I don't know if I can do that without a...
-I'm going to hire Quint to kill the fish. I want to see that shark dead.
-Maybe we can save August...
-Forget it. This summer's had it. Next summer's had it. You're the mayor of Shark City. You wanted to keep the beaches open. What happens when the town finds out about that?
-I was acting in the town's best interests...
-The best interest in this town would be to see that fish belly-up in the water with a hole in his head. You do the right thing. You authorize me. Right there. Whatever it costs.
-My kids were on that beach...
-There's a fantail launch out there that won't make it beyond the breakwater.
-You're tellin' me. I swear, this town has gone crazy.
-Officer, I wonder if you could tell me where I could find Chief Brody?
-Who are you?
-...height and weight may only be estimated from partial remains. Torso severed in mid-thorax, eviscerated with no major organs remaining. May I have a drink of water? Right arm severed above the elbow with massive tissue loss from upper musculature. Portions of denuded bone remaining. -- did you notify the coast guard?
-No, it was local jurisdiction.
-Left arm, head, shoulders, sternum and portions of ribcage intact. Please don't smoke. With minor post- mortem lacerations and abrasions. Bite marks indicate typical non-frenzy feeding pattern of large squali, possibly carchaninus lonimanus, or isurus glaucas. Gross tissue loss and post-mortem erosion of bite surfaces prevent detailed analysis; however, teeth and jaws of the attacking squali must be considered above average for these waters.
-No, we just checked the beach...
-Well, if one man can catch a fish in 50 days, then I guess 50 of these bozos can catch a fish in one day -- beginner's luck.
-I didn't say this wasn't the shark, I just said I wasn't sure this was the one...
-What d'ya mean?
-Dynamite! How was your day...?
-We ought to let it breathe... Whatever.
-Drowning. Lemme ask you something. Is it true most attacks take place in three feet of water, around 10 feet from the beach?
-Yeah. Like the kid on your beach. I wish I could've examined that shark they caught...
-Something else. Do most attacks go unreported?
-About half of them. A lot of 'missing swimmers' are really shark victims.
-There's a kind of a lone shark, called, uh...
-Rogue?
-Yeah. Rogue. Picks out an area where there's food and hangs out there as long as the food supply lasts?
-It's called Territoriality. It's a theory.
-And before 1900, when people first starting swimming for recreation, before public bathing and resorts, there were very few shark attacks, cause sharks didn't know what they were missing?
-...And it was Dartmouth Winter weekend, and she was Homecoming Queen, and I was her date; then she got into the fact that her family had more money than my family, and she was right -- her great-grandfather was in mining, and my ancestors were Yankee shipbuilders. So we broke up and I went home with some beatnik from Sarah Lawrence.
-What stinks so bad?
-What's that?
-Half a flounder. Hmmm... a burlap bag... a paint can... aha!
-What? What?!
-Just as I thought. He drifted up here with the Gulf Stream, from southern waters.
-How can you tell?
-Florida license plate.
-He ate a car?
-...Nothing.
-What do we do?
-If you're looking for a shark, you don't look on land. You go out and chum for him.
-Chum?
-What is all this stuff?
-Depth-finder, fathometer, sonar, closed-circuit TV -- fore and aft -- RDF, single side band... And two loose nuts behind the wheel.
-Can you tell from that if a big man- eater is around?
-Where'd you get all this?
-I Bought it. Both sets of grandparents set up trust funds for me; stocks went up, so I don't have to touch my principal.
-You're at the Institute full time? Or do you have a job?
-It is a job. I'm not fooling around like some amateur. It's my life!
-What happened?
-Don't they have lifejackets or something? An extra boat?
-He didn't have a dinghy aboard. I'm going down to take a look at his hull.
-Why don't we just tow it in?
-We will. There's something I've got to find out.
-You all right?
-A White! A Great White, I found a tooth buried in the hull. He must've attacked... I knew it... Gardner's dead in there. I didn't see the mate...
-There is a kind of shark called a Great White Shark that every expert in the world agrees is a maneater.
-You're situation here suggests that a Great White has staked out a claim in the waters around Amity Island, and that he will continue to feed here as long as there is food in the water.
-There's no limits to where he can strike, and we've had three attacks and two deaths in the past few days. It happened like this before, in 1916, when a Great White killed five swimmers at Jones Beach, in Long Island.
-A shark's attack is stimulated by the kind of splashing and activity that occurs whenever humans go swimming -- you can't avoid it!
-A 4th of July beach is like ringing a dinner bell, for Chrissake!
-I just pulled a shark tooth the size of a shot glass out of the hull of a wrecked boat out there.
-I'm familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this thing until it swims up and bites you on the ass! There are only two ways to solve this thing: you can kill it, or you can cut off its food supply...
-Wait a minute! I need you.
-I hope we get some more help.
-This has got to be one big violation...
-What's that, a ship?
-What the hell?
-Don't shoot him any more! He's crazy on his own blood already!
-Quint...?
-What day is this?
-Wednesday... No, it's Tuesday, I think.
-Think the tide's with us?
-Just keep kicking.
-Y'know, I used to hate the water...
-Christine what?
-Worthingsly... Worthington -- no one ever died on me before.
-You picked her up on the ferry.
-I didn't know her.
-And nobody else saw her in the water?
-Somebody could've -- I was sort of passed out.
-Think she might've run out on you?
-Oh, no, sir. I've never had a woman do that. I'm sure she drowned.
-You from around here?
-No. Cambridge. Harvard. My family's in Tuxedo, New York, though.
-You here for the summer?
-Some friends and me took a house.
-What d'you pay for a place just for the summer?
-A thousand apiece, something like that. There's five of us. And we each kick in a hundred a week for beer and cleaning, stuff like that.
-Where'd you hide the 'Beach Closed' signs?
-Polly told me to tell you there's a scout troop in Avril Bay doing the mile swim for their Merit Badges. I couldn't call them in, there's no phone out there.
-Get out of there – take these back to the office and make up some 'Beach Closed' signs, and let Polly do the printing.
-...So then Denherder and Charlie sat there trying to catch their breath, and figuring out how to explain to Charlie's wife what happened to her freezer full of meat.
-Mrs. Kintner must've put her ad in Field and Stream.
-We're not even sure what it was.
-...and Bill Mayhew almost caught him in his net...?
-Look, I've got to talk to her. This isn't a contest we want the whole country entering.
-I agree. If she's going to advertise, I wouldn't recommend out-of-town papers. Amity people could take care of this.
-I'd like to tell you what we're doing so far. These are some of the steps I've taken as Chief of Police...
-You wanna call it a night after here?
-It's only two-thirty. What, are you tired?
-Leg of lamb this time?
-Screw lamb -- let's shoot the sirloin!
-One more after this, then I'm going home.
-You do this all the time, right, Charlie?
-Twenty years.
-Look at him take it!
-Do I set the goddam hook?
-Hi. I'm Matt Hooper. If your husband is here, I'd like to talk to him.
-Would you like something? Some coffee?
-My husband tells me you're in sharks.
-I wouldn't put it that way. But I love sharks.
-You love sharks?
-Here's to your husband, the only other rational man on the island. Day after tomorrow, I'll be gone, and he'll be the only one.
-You're leaving?
-Going out on the 'Aurora.'
-Is that a boat?
-Is it! The best-funded research expedition to ever study the shark... around the world in 18 months.
-Like those Cousteau specials on television? I think it's for the kids, but I love them.
-Better than Cousteau, or Compagno with computers, telemetry, Defense Department funding...
-I saw a show with sea otters, and a big turtle... Mikey loved it. Made me promise to get him one. Will you live on the boat?
-Yep.
-...push this? Oh. It's working. Hello, Martin?
-This is Quint, Missus.
-I just wanted to know if you were all right... the Coast Guard let me use their radio. Is Chief Brody there?
-He's busy.
-Well... is everything all right?
-What have you got there, Lenny?
-Who've you told this to, Lenny?
-I just found out about it -- but there's a bunch of Boy Scouts in the water a coupla miles down the coast from where we found the girl. Avril Bay, thereabouts. Chief went to dry them off.
-Take my car, okay? You come with us, Lenny.
-I've got all these signs here...
-I've been to sea since I was 12. I've crewed three Trans-pacs --
-Transplants?
--- and an America's Cup Trials...
-I'm not talking about day sailing or pleasure boating. I'm talking about working for a living. Sharking.
-And I'm not talking about hooking some poor dogfish or sand shark. I'm talking about a Great White.
-I don't need to pass basic seamanship.
-Ha. City hands. You been counting money. If you had a $5000 net and $2000 worth of fish in it, and along comes Mr. White, and makes it look like a kiddy scissors class has gone to work on it and made paper dolls. If you'd ever worked for a living, you'd know what that means.
-Hey, Squirt! You want to stow this gear or you want me to use it for ballast? It ain't good for much but bait.
-Hello, Junior. What are you? Some kind of half-assed astronaut? Jesus Christ, when I was a kid, every little squirt wanted to be a harpooner or a sword fisherman. What d'ya have there -- a portable shower?
-Anti-Shark cage.
-What's that supposed to prove?
-Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
-Watch it! Compressed air -- you screw around with one of those and Boom! Careful, huh?
-That's pilot whale, isn't it?
-Hey, you! Farmer! Half-speed there...
-Gettin' ready to run again -- no? No? What's he playin' here? Put the gloves on! Let's see who's gonna tease who now!
-Let it go, don't waste your time.
-I don't know what it is, but it's not a shark.
-A marlin, or a stingray. Huh. Don't ever tell me my business again. Get back up on the bridge.
-I'm okay...
-Over there!
-What do you see?
-20 feet, if it's an inch...
-Wire burn. Trying to stop a backstay from taking my head off.
-Face and head scars come from amateur amusements in the bar room. This love line here... ...that's from some crazy Frenchie come after me with a knife. I caught him with a good right hand right in the snot locker and laid him amongst the sweetpeas.
-Bull shark scraped me while I was taking samples...
-I'll drink to your leg.
-...Mako. Fell out of the tail rope and onto the deck. You don't get bitten by one of those bastards but twice -- your first and your last.
-Don't tell me -- 'Death Before Dishonor.' 'Mother.' 'Semper Fi.' Uhhh... 'Don't Tread on Me.' C'mon -- what?
-Easy! It'll tear right out!
-Coming right to us!
-He's heading under -- !
-Follow him!
-What can that gun of yours do?
-That's disgusting! This is the largest, meanest, most vicious shark ever landed off Amity Island, and a known maneater!
-I'm sorry, Martin. She's in a sick, terrible state.
-Is that tooth here? Did anyone see it?
-Carcaradon carcharias. A Great White.
-Sick vandalism! Brody, that's a deliberate mutilation of a public service message! I want those little paint-happy bastards caught and hung up by their baby Buster Browns!
-Paul? Are you coming downstairs to eat?
-I don't think so.
-You ran eight miles today, Puppy.
-I'm not hungry, oddly.
-Juno MacGuff called while you were out running. She wants to know if you're coming to her little coffeehouse performance on Saturday.
-Thanks for the message.
-You know how I feel about her.
-You've mentioned it about fifty times.
-Hey Bleek.
-Hey, cool tiger. Looks proud.
-Yeah, I swiped it from Ms. Rancick.
-Cool.
-Your shorts are looking especially gold today.
-My mom uses color-safe bleach.
-Go Carole. So, guess what?
-I don't know...
-When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don't want to. I have intrusive thoughts all the time.
-I'm supposed to be running.
-So, what do you think we should do?
-I thought I might, you know, nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Because I heard in health class that pregnancy often results in an infant.
-Yeah, typically. That's what happens when our moms and teachers get pregnant.
-So that's cool with you, then?
-Yeah, wizard, I guess. I mean do what you think is right.
-I'm real sorry I had sex with you. I know it wasn't your idea.
-Whose idea was it?
-Well! Nothing like experimenting.
-Oh, I couldn't copy your work.
-But you copy my work every week.
-Oh yeah. I'm kind of a deadbeat lab partner, huh?
-I don't mind. You definitely bring something to the table.
-Charisma?
-Hey Juno... A couple of us are going to the cineplex after school to donut that movie with the guy with eighteen kids.
-Sorry, Bleek... Going for my ultrasound. Gotta note and everything.
-Okay, cool.
-What's up?
-I just wanted to come over. You know, say hi. I miss hanging out with you on school nights.
-So, it looks like you're getting pregnant-er these days.
-Really? What are they like?
-The guy is super cool! His name is Mark and he's into old horror movies and he plays guitar. I actually hung out with him today.
-Is that normal?
-I asked my dad and Bren not to narc us out to your folks, so we should be safe.
-I'm going to really start looking like a dork soon. Will you still think I'm cute if I'm huge?
-Jesus, Bleek.
-Hey Junebug, when all this is over we should get the band back together again.
-Yeah. Sure. Once Tino gets a new drumhead we should be good to go.
-We could get back together too.
-Well, we were once. You know, that time.
-What about Katrina De Voort? You could go out with Katrina De Voort.
-I don't like Katrina.
-I totally heard you did.
-Are you honestly and truly going to prom with Katrina De Voort?
-Um, hi?
-Leah just told me you were going with her.
-We're getting a stretch limo.
-Your mom must be really glad you're not taking me.
-You're mad. Why are you mad?
-I'm not mad. I'm in a fucking great mood. Despite the fact that I'm trapped in a fat suit I can't take off, despite the fact that everyone is making fun of me behind my back, despite the fact that your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday...
-You're being really immature.
-That's not how our thing works! I hurl the accusations and you talk me down, remember?
-Not this time. You don't have any reason to be mad at me. You broke my heart. I should be royally ticked at you, man. I should be really cheesed off. I shouldn't want to talk to you anymore.
-Why? Because I got bored and had sex with you one day, and then I didn't, like, marry you?
-Like I'd marry you! You would be the meanest wife of all time. And anyway, I know you weren't bored that day because there was a lot of stuff on TV. The Blair Witch Project was on Starz, and you were like, "Oh, I want to watch this, but we should make out instead. La la la."
-Forget it, Bleek. Take Katrina the Douche Packer to the prom. I'm sure you guys will have a really bitchin' time!
-Yeah, well... I still have your underwear.
-I still have your virginity!
-Oh my God, SHUT UP!
-What? Are you ashamed that we did it?
-No...
-Wait, let me take that.
-Huh?
-You shouldn't be carrying that heavy bag. I'll take it.
-Did you put like a hundred things of Tic Tacs in my mailbox?
-Yeah. That was me.
-Why?
-Because they're your fave. And you can never have too much of your favorite one-calorie breath mint.
-Well... thanks. I think I'm pretty much set until college on the Tic Tac front.
-You know, I've been thinking. I'm really sorry I was such a huge bitch to you. You didn't deserve that. You never deserve any of the poo I unload on you.
-You know it's okay.
-Also, I think I'm in love with you.
-What, you mean as friends?
-No, for real. I think you are the coolest person I've ever met. And you don't even have to try.
-I try really hard, actually...
-No, you're naturally smart. You always think of the funniest things to do. Remember when you passed me that postcard during Spanish class, and it was addressed like, "Junebug MacGuff, Row 4, Third Seat From the Blackboard"? And it said, "I'm having fun in Barcelona -- wish you were here"? That was hilarious.
-I was just bored. I only think school is awesome like, 80% of the time.
-Plus, you're the only person who doesn't stare at my stomach all the fucking time. You actually look at my face. And every time I look at you, the baby starts kicking me super hard.
-Wizard!
-I think it's because my heart starts pounding when I see you.
-Mine too.
-Basically, I'm completely smitten with you, and I don't care if I'm making an ass out of myself right now, because you've seen me make an ass out of myself a million times, and you still want to be my friend.
-Well, yeah. You're the best friend I've ever had, even when you're being kind of evil.
-That's all I need from you. That's more than I could ever ask for. You're just golden, dude.
-Can we make out now?
-You're a part time lover and a fulltime friend. The monkey on your back is the latest trend. I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you.
-Here is the church and here is the steeple. We sure are cute for two ugly people. I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you.
-We both have shiny happy fits of rage. You want more fans, I want more stage. I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you.
-You are always trying to keep it real. I'm in love with how you feel. I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you.
-I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train. I kiss you all starryeyed, my body's swinging from side to side. I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you.
-Hey man.
-Oh, hey Vijay.
-Did you hear Juno MacGuff is pregnant?
-Yup.
-Just like our moms and teachers!
-Yup.
-Did you hear it's yours?
-Yup.
-What a trip, man.
-I don't really know anything about it.
-You should grow a moustache. You're a real man now.
-I can't grow a moustache. It never comes in evenly.
-What? I'm not made of stone.
-Wait, what's that supposed to mean?
-They could be utterly negligent. Maybe they'll do a far shittier job of raising a kid than my dumbass stepdaughter ever would. Have you considered that?
-No... I guess not.
-What is your job title, exactly?
-Excuse me?
-I said, what-is-your-job-title, Missy?
-I'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am.
-Well I'm a nail technician, and I think we both ought to stick to what we know.
-What are you talking about?
-Nails? Really?
-Just tell it to me straight, Bren. Do you think this is my fault? Her mother's fault?
-I think kids get bored and have intercourse. And I think Junebug was a dummy about it. But we have to move on from here and help her figure it out.
-I'm not ready to be a Pop-Pop.
-You're not going to be a Pop-Pop. And Juno's not going to be a ma. Somebody else is going to find a precious blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation. I friggin' hope.
-Did you see it coming when she sat us down here?
-Oh God yeah. But I was hoping she was expelled or into hard drugs.
-That was my first instinct too. Or D.W.I. Anything but this. And I'm going to punch that Bleeker kid in the weiner the next time I see him.
-Juno? Did you happen to barf in my urn? Mac, you know that nice urn by the front door, the one I got up in Stillwater? I found some weird blue shit, I mean stuff, gunk, in there this morning.
-I have no idea how to spit this out.
-Hon, did you get expelled?
-No. The school would probably contact you in the event of my expulsion.
-Oh, God...
-But they have a real lawyer and everything. I'm going to meet with them next weekend.
-Junebug, that is a tough, tough thing to do. Probably tougher than you can understand right now.
-No.
-Well, you're a brave young lady. You're made of stronger stuff than I thought. You're a little Viking!
-Cool it.
-First things first, we have to get you healthy. You need prenatal vitamins. Incidentally, they'll do incredible things for your nails, so that's a plus. Oh, and we need to schedule a doctor's appointment. Find out where you're going to deliver.
-Where the hell have you been, Junebug?
-I drove to St. Cloud to show Mark and Vanessa the ultrasound. And I wound up staying for a couple of hours.
-A couple of hours? Why are you going up there in the first place?
-They said they wanted to know about this stuff. They said to keep them updated, so I did!
-You could have sent it to them. Why would you drive an hour out to East Jesus, Nowhere?
-That was a mistake, Juno. Mark is a married stranger. You overstepped a boundary.
-Listen, Bren-duhhh, I think you're the one overstepping boundaries. You're acting like you're the one who has to go through this and get huge and push a baby out of your vag for someone else. Besides, who cares if he's married? I can have friends who are married.
-It doesn't work that way, kiddo. You don't know squat about the dynamics of marriage.
-You don't know anything about me!
-We don't even have a dog!
-Yeah, because you're allergic to their saliva. I've made a lot of sacrifices for you, Juno. And in a couple years you're going to move out -- and I'm getting Weimaraners.
-Wow, dream big!
-Ow, ow, fuckity-ow. Bren, when do I get that Spinal Tap thing?
-It's called a spinal block, and you can't have it yet, honey. The doctor said you're not dilated enough.
-You mean I have to wait for it to get even worse? Why can't they just give it to me now?
-Shit. Hey, can we give my kid the damn spinal tap already?
-So, Juno. First off, how far along are you?
-I'm a junior.
-No, I mean in your pregnancy.
-Yeah. Yeah! The way people used to do it. Quick and dirty, like ripping off a Band-Aid.
-Well, then we agree a traditional closed adoption would be best for all involved, then?
-Amanda, I told you to go to the infirmary and lie down. You never listen.
-No Josh, I don't take orders. Not from you and not from any man.
-You know, you've been acting like this ever since I went up to see my brother at Mankato. I told you, nothing happened!
-Something happened. Because your eyes? Are very cold? They're very cold, Josh. They're cold, lying eyes.
-What? My eyes are not lying!
-Good. Call me when you're OFF the rag.
-Fine. Call me when you learn how to love just one person and not cheat at your brother's college just because you had four Smirnoff Ices and a bottle of Snow Peak Peach flavored Boone's!
-This is our attorney, Gerta Rauss.
-No.
-So, let's discuss how we're gonna do this... thing.
-Whoah. I don't want to see pictures. I don't need to be notified of anything. Can't we just kick it old school? I could just put the baby in a basket and send it your way. You know, like Moses in the reeds.
-Whoops! Yikes, I didn't expect to see you up here.
-Sorry. I was just getting something.
-Did your wife send you up here to spy on me?
-What? No! Do we come off like paranoid yuppies or something?
-Well, you don't just invite a random pregnant teenager into your house and leave her unsupervised. I could be a total klepto, for all you know.
-I don't get a klepto vibe from you. Evil genius? Maybe. Arsonist? Wouldn't rule it out.
-Am I supposed to feel happy now?
-You should be happy, Holmes. I'm giving you and Vanessa the gift of life. Sweet, screaming, pooping life! And you don't even have to be there when the baby comes out of me all covered in...
-Viscera?
-Blood and guts.
-Oh. That's, uh, my room. Vanessa lets me have a room for all my old stuff.
-Wow, you get a whole room in your own house? She's got you on a long leash there, Mark.
-It's beautiful. I've always liked Gibson better than Fender.
-What do you play?
-I rock a Harmony.
-Oh.
-What? I'm a pawn shop rocker.
-What is that, Mahogany? What happens if you crack the neck?
-Tell me about it. I used to play in a really tight band back when I lived in Chicago, and one night we opened for the Melvins... do you know who the Melvins are?
-Yeah.
-Well, we were playing with them and I busted this guitar onstage. It cost me $800 and a dime bag just to have it fixed.
-When was this, like '96?
-'93. I'm telling you that was the best time for rock and roll.
-Nuh-uh, 1977! Punk Volume 1. You weren't there, so you can't understand the magic.
-Your guitar is named Kimber?
-Yeah.
-Juno? Wow, I didn't expect to see you here.
-I've got something really cool to show you guys. Is Vanessa here?
-Right. I hear they can be kind of a time-suck.
-Come on in. You wanna Ginseng Cooler?
-Sure. What is it with you rich people and your herb-infused juices?
-Why aren't you at work?
-I mostly work from home. I'm a composer.
-No shit. Like Johannes Brahms?
-No, more commercial stuff.
-Like what?
-Commercials.
-Oh.
-Have you seen those ads for Titanium Power men's deodorant?
-Titanium Power! Get more snatch by the batch!
-I wrote that.
-You're kind of a sellout, aren't you? What would the Melvins say?
-Behold, good sir! The very first photo of your future child.
-I think it kind of looks like my friend, Paulie.
-Oh, is he bald and amorphous?
-Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?
-The doctor can tell, but I decided not to know. I want it to be a big surprise.
-Well, it can really only go two ways.
-That's what you think. I drink tons of booze so you might get one of those scary neuter-babies that's born without junk.
-Junk?
-You know... it's parts...
-I know what junk is.
-Yeah?
-We definitely want it to have junk.
-What is it?
-It's only my favorite song. It's Sonic Youth doing "Superstar" by the Carpenters.
-I've heard the Carpenters before. Chick drummer and freaky dude. Not unlike the White Stripes.
-Don't you remember you told me you loved me, baby...
-Hey, I like this.
-This album is all Carpenters covers by alt-rock bands. It's called If I Were a Carpenter. It is God. I'll rip a copy for you before you leave.
-You don't have to do that.
-It's the least I can do. What did you say your favorite band was?
-I didn't. But it's a three-way tie between the Stooges, Patti Smith and the Runaways.
-The Wizard of Gore?
-Oh yeah. It's Herschel Gordon Lewis. He's the ultimate master of horror.
-Argento's good, but Lewis is completely demented. We're talking buckets of goo. Red corn syrup everywhere. And fake brains up the yin-yang.
-This is even better than Suspiria. You've got decent taste in slasher movies, Mark.
-So, have you and Vanessa thought of a name for the baby yet?
-Well, sort of. Vanessa likes Madison for a girl.
-Madison? Isn't that kind of... I don't know, gay?
-God, pretentious much? I guess everyone should have a mysterious name like Juno, huh?
-My dad went through this phase where he was obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology. He named me after Zeus's wife. I mean, Zeus had other lays, but I'm pretty sure Juno was his only wife. She was supposed to be really beautiful but really mean. Like Diana Ross.
-That suits you.
-Uh, thanks.
-You know, not many teenage girls in your situation would actually go through with this.
-I weighed my options. But after all this, I'm glad I didn't, you know, get rid of it. I want to have it. For you guys.
-Vanessa. Shit, you better get out of here.
-Why? What the big deal?
-Nothing. She just hates when I sit around watching movies and 'not contributing.'
-Juno was nice enough to bring this by for us.
-Hey, what kind of swag did you score?
-I doubt anyone's throwing us a shower.
-Cold feet.
-Hello?
-Oh really? What's the verdict?
-I sort of like it. I mean, it's cute.
-Cute?
-Well, when you're used to the raw power of Iggy and the Stooges, everything else sounds kind of precious by comparison.
-I imagine you have a collection of punk chestnuts to prove your point.
-Consider it your musical education.
-I'm dying to see what you've got to teach me.
-Okay, stop surfing porn and get back to work. Just wanted to say hi.
-Wow. That shirt is working hard.
-Is Vanessa here?
-Cool.
-Oh, Mark! Is this the baby's room? It's beautiful!
-Hilarious. No, I just keep all of my old comics down here, and I want to show you one of them.
-Oh God, you're one of those guys...
-"Most Fruitful Yuki"? What is... Oh my god, she's a pregnant superhero!
-Wow, I actually feel like less of a fat dork now.
-What?
-I actually know this one.
-You do?
-Yeah, this song's older than me, if you can believe that. I danced to it at my senior prom.
-That's almost interesting, Mark. Who did you dance with?
-Her name was Cynthia Vogel and she was a good dance partner. Even let me put my hands on her butt.
-Oh, okay. Like this.
-You've never been to a dance, have you?
-Only squares and nerds go to dances.
-What are you?
-I'm leaving Vanessa.
-What?
-No.
-No?
-No. No, you definitely cannot do that, Mark. That's a big, fat sack of no!
-What's the matter?
-But I thought you'd be cool if...
-I want you guys to adopt the Buglet. I wanted everything to be perfect. Not shitty and broken like everyone else's family. Listen, once I have the baby, Vanessa is going to finally be happy, and everything will be all right. Believe me on this one!
-A baby is not going to fix everything. Besides, I don't know if I'm ready to be a father.
-But you're old!
-I... How do you think of me, Juno? Why are you here?
-I don't know. I just liked being your friend. I sort of liked becoming furniture in your weird life.
-This... ...this is what my life has become. Stuff in boxes. Stuff underground. Is that so appealing to you?
-Yeah, I guess... Is this my fault? Is Vanessa mad at you because of me?
-That's not the point. We're just not in love anymore.
-Please don't get a divorce! God, Mark, just do me a solid and stay with your wife.
-God, you're so young.
-Uh, hi Su-Chin.
-Oh, hi Juno. How are you?
-Good. I'm good. Did you finish that paper for Worth's class yet?
-No, not yet. I tried to work on it a little last night, but I'm having trouble concentrating.
-You should try Adderall.
-No thanks. I'm off pills.
-Wise move. I know this girl who had a huge crazy freakout because she took too many behavioral meds at once. She took off her clothes and jumped into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and she was like, "Blaaaaah! I'm a kraken from the sea!"
-I heard that was you.
-Juno! Your baby probably has a beating heart, you know. It can feel pain. And it has fingernails.
-Hi! I'm Vanessa. You must be Juno and Mr. MacGuff. I'm Vanessa.
-Can I take your coats?
-Wicked pic in the Penny Saver, by the way. Super classy. Not like those other people with the fake woods in the background. Like I'm really going to fall for that, you know?
-I'll get drinks. What would everyone like? I've got Pellegrino, Vitamin Water...
-Oh, that's marvelous. So you're almost into your second trimester, then?
-Yeah, apparently. I'm having it on May 4.
-The tough part's almost over for you. I mean, my girlfriends always tell me the first couple months are the hardest.
-Yeah, but I hardly noticed it. I'm more worried about the part where I have to start wearing jeans with an elastic panel in the front.
-I think pregnancy is beautiful.
-Well, shall we start looking over the paperwork? Gerta has already drafted some preliminary documents.
-Can I use the facilities first? Being pregnant makes you pee like Seabiscuit.
-Sure. The powder room down here is being re-tiled, but you can use the master bath upstairs. Go up, then turn left and on your right...
-Oh. Sure. Of course you'd want to know how your kid is cooking.
-I'm going to say I'm 104% sure.
-Oh really?
-Juno! God, you startled me. What are you doing here? What's wrong?
-Nothing...
-Then what's going on?
-Is the baby okay?
-What...
-Oh my God...
-Doesn't it look like it's waving? It's kind of like it's saying "Hi, Vanessa. Will you be my mommy?"
-Oh it's just some stuff I picked up. For, you know, the baby. Babies need a lot of things. I want everything to be just right.
-Um, I think people are kind of unsure about the situation because it's not, you know, set in stone.
-What do you mean? You mean... Do you think I'm going to flake out on you?
-Right. Well, Juno, your parents must be wondering where you are. You might want to head home.
-Well hi Vanessa! What brings you to the mall today?
-No...
-Please excuse Leah. She's mentally challenged.
-Oh, okay. So... how are you feeling?
-Um... Juno, can I -- Can I touch it?
-Oh my God -- It moved! I felt it!
-Elbow.
-Juno? What's going on?
-Mark? Why is Juno crying?
-Hi. I'm here for the big show?
-Your name, please?
-Would you like some free condoms? They're boysenberry.
-No thank you. I'm off sex.
-My partner uses these every time we have intercourse. They make his balls smell like pie.
-You should have seen this octopus furnace. I had to get out my Hazmat suit just to get up in there...
-So Juno, how did your maneuver go last night?
-Do you need a large sum of money? Legal counsel?
-No, no, I'm definitely not asking for anything. Except maybe mercy. Like, it would be really great if nobody hit me.
-They say they're going to pay my medical expenses and everything. I promise this will all be resolved in thirty-odd weeks, and we can pretend it never happened.
-You're pregnant?
-Who is the kid?
-What?
-Okay, this is no laughing matter.
-Did you say you were thinking about adoption?
-Damn skippy, you're not! You don't even remember to give Liberty Bell her breathing meds.
-I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when.
-She's joking. Junebug has a wonderful sense of humor, which is just one of her many genetic gifts.
-Excuse me?
-Hi Dad.
-Hey, big puffy version of Junebug. Where have you been?
-Dealing with stuff way beyond my maturity level. Where is everyone?
-Bren took Liberty Bell to her tot ice skating class.
-Tot ice skating? Tots can't ice skate. Liberty Bell's still getting the hang of stairs.
-No, but you know Bren. She dreams big.
-Yeah, she does.
-You look a little morose, honey. What's eating you?
-I'm losing my faith in humanity.
-Think you can narrow it down for me.
-I guess I wonder sometimes if people ever stay together for good.
-You mean like couples?
-Yeah, like people in love.
-Are you having boy trouble? I gotta be honest; I don't much approve of you dating in your condition, 'cause... well, that's kind of messed up.
-Dad, no!
-Well, it's kind of skanky. Isn't that what you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?
-Please stop now.
-Tore up from the floor up?
-Dad, it's not about that. I just need to know that it's possible for two people to stay happy together forever. Or at least for a few years.
-I sort of already have.
-What?!
-Either I just pissed my pants or...
-Or...
-Well, well. If it isn't MacGuff the Crime Dog! Back for another test?
-Maybe you're having twins. Maybe your little boyfriend's got mutant sperms and he knocked you up twice!
-Well, you know where the lavatory is. You pay for that pee stick when you're done! Don't think it's yours just because you've marked it with your urine!
-Jesus, I didn't say it was.
-So what's the prognosis, Fertile Myrtle? Minus or plus?
-Yo-yo-yiggity-yo.
-I am a suicide risk.
-Is this Juno?
-No it's Morgan Freeman. Got any bones that need collecting?
-Only the one in my pants.
-Dude, I'm pregnant.
-Maybe it's just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?
-It's not a food baby. I took three pregnancy tests today. I am definitely up the spout.
-How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests?
-I drank like ten tons of Sunny Delight. Anyway, yeah. I'm pregnant. And you're shockingly cavalier.
-Is this for real? Like for real, for real?
-Unfortunately, yes.
-Oh my God! Oh shit! Phuket Thailand!
-That's the kind of emotion I was looking for in the first take.
-Well, are you going to go to Havenbrooke or Women Now for the abortion? You need a note from your parents for Havenbrooke.
-I know. Women Now, I guess. The commercial says they help women now.
-Want me to call for you? I called for Becky last year.
-Heavy lifting can only help you at this point.
-So, you were bored? Is that how this blessed miracle came to be?
-Nah, it was a premeditated act. The sex, I mean, not getting pregnant.
-When did you decide you were going to do Bleeker?
-Aha! You love him.
-So, what was it like humping Bleeker's bony bod?
-What are you doing here, dumbass? I thought I was supposed to pick you up at four.
-I couldn't do it, Leah! It smelled like a dentist in there. They had these really horrible magazines, with, like, spritz cookie recipes and bad fiction and water stains, like someone read them in the tub. And the receptionist tried to give me these weird condoms that looked like grape suckers, and she told me about her boyfriend's pie balls, and Su-Chin Kuah was
-Oh, gruesome. I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?
-I'm staying pregnant, Le.
-Keep your voice down dude, my mom's around here somewhere. She doesn't know we're sexually active.
-What does that even mean? Anyway, I got to thinking on the way over. I was thinking maybe I could give the baby to somebody who actually likes that kind of thing. You know, like a woman with a bum ovary or something. Or some nice lesbos.
-But then you'll get huge. Your chest is going to milktate. And you have to tell everyone you're pregnant.
-I know. Maybe they'll canonize me for being so selfless.
-Maybe they'll totally shit and be super mad at you and not let you graduate or go to Cabo San Lucas for spring break.
-Well, maybe you could look at one of those adoption ads. I see them all the time in the Penny Saver.
-There are ads? For parents?
-Oh yeah! "Desperately Seeking Spawn." They're right by the ads for like, iguanas and terriers and used fitness equipment. It's totally legit.
-The Penny Saver sucks.
-Look at this one "Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other." "All that's missing is your bastard."
-There's a guy in here who's giving away a piano. Free for the hauling! We should put it in Bleeker's yard.
-You're not listening to me.
-No, I heard you. I just can't give the baby to people who describe themselves as "wholesome." I'm looking for something a little edgier.
-What did you have in mind, a family of disturbed loners who are into gunplay and incest?
-I was thinking a graphic designer, mid-thirties, and his cool Asian wife who dresses awesome and plays bass. But I'm trying to not be too particular.
-All right, how about this one? "Healthy, educated couple seeking infant to join our family of five. You will be compensated. Help us complete the circle of love."
-Yeesh, they sound like a cult. Besides, they're greedy bitches. They already have three kids!
-Best to just tell them, man. Rip off the Band-Aid and let it bleed.
-Check out Baby Big-Head. That kid is scary!
-Hey, I'm a sacred vessel. All you've got in your belly is Taco Bell!
-Touche.
-Aw, please Junebug?
-How do you know I'm so poisonous? Like, what if the adoptive parents turn out to be evil molesters?
-Yum. This pretzel tastes like a friggin' donut!
-Hly shht!
-That's her. That's Vanessa Loring.
-No way! She's pretty.
-You sound shocked or something.
-She's gonna steal that kid for her collection.
-I want a huge cookie. And like, a lamb kebob. Simultaneously.
-God, you're getting huge. How many months has it been now?
-Almost eight. You wouldn't believe how weird I look naked.
-I wish my funbags would get bigger.
-Trust me, you don't. I actually have to wear a bra now. And I have to rub this nasty cocoa butter stuff all over myself or my skin could get stretched too far and explode.
-God, why is everyone always staring at me?
-Wow, someone's been actually doing her geometry homework for once!
-I don't have a choice. Keith's been grading me really hard lately.
-Please do not refer to Mr. Conyers as "Keith," okay? My barf reflex is already heightened these days.
-Keith's hot.
-Did you hear Bleek is going to prom with Katrina De Voort?
-Katrina? Pfft, no way. He doesn't like Katrina. It must be a pity date.
-He asked her. I heard they were going to Benihana, then the prom, then to Vijay's parents' cabin.
-Bleeker told me Katrina's whole house reeks of soup!
-Oh, it totally does. I was there for her birthday about four years ago and it was like Lipton Landing. But you know, boys have endured worse things for nookie.
-There's no way in hell they're having sex or even holding hands.
-I wouldn't be so sure about that. He did it with you. He's a man now.
-Yeah, well, Bleek trusted me. We're best friends.
-Are you jealous? I thought you said you didn't care what he did.
-I'm not jealous, and I don't care. I just know he doesn't like Katrina and I don't think he should toy with her emotions like that. She seems so nice and all.
-Okay Juno, I'm really convinced.
-Hello. Thank you for having me and my irresponsible child over to your home.
-You don't say.
-Well, haven't you ever felt like you were born to do something?
-Yes. Heating and air conditioning.
-So. What's that thing?
-A Pilates machine?
-What do you make with that?
-Obviously, we'll compensate you for your medical expenses.
-You're doing an amazing and selfless thing for us.
-Vanessa has wanted a baby since we got married.
-You guys are playing music?
-What do you think? Custard or Cheesecake?
-They're yellow.
-Well, I wanted to pick something gender-neutral for now. Once we get the baby, God willing, we can create a more decisive palette.
-Why do people think yellow is gender- neutral? I don't know one man with a yellow bedroom.
-I think I'm leaning toward Custard in this light. I don't know. I should paint a small area...
-Or you could just wait a couple months. It's not like the baby's going to storm in here any second and demand dessert-colored walls.
-What to Expect says that readying the baby's room is an important process for women. It's called "nesting."
-Nesting, huh? Are you planning to build the crib out of twigs and saliva?
-You should read the book. I even flagged the "daddy chapters" for you.
-I just think it's too early to paint. That's my opinion.
-That wall is going to need something. Maybe we could put our first family picture there.
-Hm.
-Juno, what's the matter?
-What did you do?
-I didn't do anything... I just... I've just been thinking.
-What?
-Just thinking if this is really the right thing for us.
-I've been just wondering if we're, you know, ready.
-Of course we're ready. We've taken all the classes. The nursery. The books --
-Why don't we let Juno go home and we can discuss this later on, okay?
-It all just happened so fast. We put that ad in the paper. I thought it would take months if, you know, ever and then -- boom -- Two weeks later, she's in our living room.
-She answered our prayers.
-What would be a good time for you?
-I don't know. There's just things I still want to do.
-Like what? Be a rock star?
-I called Gerta Rauss. She says she can represent both of us. They call it "collaborative divorce." It's apparently all the rage right now. And it's easy because we don't have children.
-We're actually, finally doing this?
-Looks like it, yeah.
-Have you found a place to stay?
-Yeah, downtown.
-A hotel?
-It's a loft.
-No.
-You lose!
-...You can forget about 'em forever and then look at 'em and they're doin' even better than before.
-...There ain't nothin' can kill 'em. They can live for two even three hundred years.
-Adele for god sake please lis...
-Hi, I'm Adele.
-...Pardon?
-...I said, I like your hair.
-One night we figured out how much bad luck he must have comin' from all them mirrors he broke... Four hundred and ninety four years to work it all off... After he dies, he'll have to keep coming back to earth over and over and over...
-What?
-Karma... You know, if you do something bad to somebody fate will pay you back by something bad happening to you.
-Are you takin' the pictures?
-...Yeah.
-Is it hard to learn?
-You wouldn't have any color film, would ya?
-You dropped this.
-Early don't think women should smoke or curse or drink liquor.
-Better not, or Early'd whip me.
-...Hey you're good. Thought you said you never played before?
-I told you how Early feels 'bout a woman drinking.
-You know I can fix that haircut for you, if you want?
-I'm cool.
-What's this?
-It's a portfolio of my work.
-Your pictures. Can I see 'em?
-You took this picture?
-That's me.
-No it is not!
-Hold still.
-You shouldn't let him do that to you...
-Do what?
-Adele... are you serious?
-You think Early's bad to me, don't you?
-My momma's a beautician. Guess that's where I get it from. She wouldn't hear of my moving in with Early... on account of his just getting out of jail and all. Ain't seen her in nearly a year now. I wish she'd call me, just once.
-What's Early been in jail for?
-Carryin' a gun.
-...Anything else?
-An' resistin' arrest... At least that's what the Police said.
-The police are after him, he's a murderer!
-...That's not true.
-What?
-...I wouldn't lie to you, Adele. . . I saw him kill that man.
-Happy birthday Adele.
-I feel kind of like the wizard of oz, you know when she gets the red shoes.
-What's up Adele? Dinner ready?
-Well... for one thing... They think faster out there, on account of all that warm weather they got; cold weather makes people stupid, that's a fact.
-I guess that'd explain why there's so many stupid people around here.
-Yeah, and in California you never have to buy fruit 'cause it's all on the trees everywhere you turn... ...and, 'course there ain't no speed limit out there, and all drugs are legal... And I heard your first month's rent is free; state law. I figure 'til we get settled we can just move around month to month...
-What'll we do out there?
-You know... I read once... Ain't nothin' on that big old moon 'cept some old golf balls those astronauts left behind.
-Don't be long now, dinner's 'bout ready.
-What if they're dangerous?
-Did you settle things with Mr. Diebold?
-Geez, they look kinda weird.
-You just smile, let me do all the talking.
-How many times you gonna tell me that?
-Shush, Adele.
-Can you believe thirty bucks for this room... for what? A lumpy mattress, that crummy TV and a crapper.
-Early, what're you doin'?
-What the hell is this stuff?
-Yeah but, what is it?
-...thank you.
-Thank you for what? What are you thanking me for Adele?
-...I don't know.
-What's wrong with her?
-Nobody wants to hurt you Peaches!
-Oh, n'jus what in hell you crying 'bout? I'm the one got hit.
-What's your name, boy?
-Walter Livesy.
-Think. I might just have to kill you Walter. How do you feel about that?
-Not so good. You sure you have to?
-Where you from Walter?
-Vernon, Florida.
-Never heard of it, any huntin'?
-Turkey mostly.
-...Mind if I hold that Bible?
-You think I'm goin' to kill you. Well that'd make me a liar then wouldn't it?
-Tight fit.
-Uh, we can stop somewhere if you and Adele haven't had time for breakfast, Early.
-Well, it's like this, Mr. Kessler.
-Brian.
-So what do you do Early?
-You gonna talk to the people who did those murders?
-That's a good idea. Unfortunately most of them have been executed.
-Can't hurt.
-How much do I owe you?
-This the book your writing?
-It's just a work in progress, kinda rough.
-This guy killed a mess of people.
-Who?
-Henry Lucas.
-Henry Lee Lucas. Well he was only convicted of killing eleven but he claimed to have killed over three hundred.
-How did he get away with it for so long anyhow?
-That bad?
-...They never caught that Black Dolya Killer, huh?
-Dahlia, no.
-Now why is that?
-Some people think it's because he never killed again. He just disappeared back into society.
-You don't sound too convinced 'bout that?
-I always thought it was the work of a serial killer. Anyone who took that much time and care bisecting another human being must have been enjoying it and would have done it again. And again. Until someone stopped him.
-That your... "theory", ain't that what they call it?
-Yeah.
-Sure.
-By the way, I'm not much of a pool player.
-Shit, it ain't hard to play pool. I can teach you everything ya need ta know.
-Yeah?
-Hell yeah! I'll even spot ya a few points first game.
-Wait a minute. You're gonna hustle me?
-...Well I probably drunk more than my share, anyway... you go on an' have it.
-...Well then, that's how many I killed.
-If you say so.
-Ya see what I'm sayin'? Ha!
-Hey... Ain't we getting near the next murder site... Bri?
-Forget about it, doesn't matter.
-So tell me... what happened here?
-...and?
-You two been busy in here.
-What happened to Adele?
-Executing the killer wouldn't bring my mother back.
-Okay, now you want to talk about good versus evil? Well then let's start with Adam and Eve and the snake.
-Who do I have to blow to get out of here?
-Tonight turned out to be pretty interesting.
-The warehouse. I'm not that drunk.
-Just being there where it really happened. It was different... more visceral.
-I thought you wanted to be a writer.
-...I do.
-Then you can write anywhere. Let's get out of here, while we still can.
-Carrie, come on... we can leave anytime we...
-No we can't. We can never leave once you start talking about tenure... and vacation pay... and parking privileges and... oh shit! let's just go to California now, right now, before it's too late.
-...just like that?
-Hey. I didn't have the heart to wake you.
-Thanks. What are you doing?
-So how's it going?
-...and I think I know why.
-Why?
-Because I was there. And for a moment that night I understood how she came to pull the trigger.
-This mean your finally going to finish your thesis?
-Look, fuck the thesis. I think there's a book here. Your photographs and my research, together.
-A book on the warehouse murders?
-What I'm thinking is, we can drop down through Tennessee, across Arkansas and into Texas, from there it's a straight shot into California. "We don't stop... until we hit the fucking ocean."
-It's about fucking time, Kessler! I'd just about given up on you.
-What did he sound like on the phone?
-I like that.
-I still think we should have met them first.
-Oh, yeah... He had a real thick accent right outta "Deliverance." "Still? Who said anything about a still? Get ya ass up in them woods!"
-Jesus... They've probably got five bucks between them. Turn around.
-We could have been in and out of there in less than ten minutes...
-You mean because I object to having somebody take off their shoe and scratch their foot while I'm eating I'm prejudiced?
-Feel sorry for him? Obviously you didn't get a whiff of that sock?
-Bitch, bitch, bitch!
-Up yours.
-...And all I'm saying is I think we ought to try and get along with them. That's all.
-You try, I'm gonna pretend they're with somebody else.
-Carrie.
-All set?
-Fuck!
-Who said he's my good buddy?
-Yeah, and you should've seen how terrified she was that he'd find out. He beats her.
-How do you know that?
-Stop being so fucking melodramatic! If it was murder he'd still be locked up or on parole, in which case he wouldn't be allowed to leave the state.
-What is it?
-What's that?
-There's more...
-I'm scared. A week ago you would never have even thought to pick up that gun. This afternoon you're out there wielding it around like Clyde fucking Barrow, for Christ's sake! What's with you?
-Okay, it was a cheap thrill, it was stupid, I admit it, alright? But let's not blow this. Not now... Let's just get the photos.
-I can't believe I agreed to do this.
-Oh come on, don't give me that shit... you wanted to take these photos as much as I wanted you too.
-Brian I want him out of our car!
-Why, what did he do?
-Carrie... stop it.
-What the fuck is wrong with you Brian!? If you'll stop taking notes for once and open your eyes... you'll see that he is a homicidal fucking killer. He is... for real!
-You gotta talk to her. She looks up to you, she'll listen to you.
-I tried talking to her at the mine. It didn't work.
-Carrie, watch for Early.
-What are you going to do?
-What about you?
-Any word from that gallery?
-Not yet.
-Nervous?
-...Apprehensive. Let's not forget these are the people who banned the Mapplethorpe show. Anyway, California's loaded with galleries.
-...Soon as he finishes his thesis.
-I'm sorry, but I just can't see you veggin' out in LA-LA LAND.
-Bri'.
-Where's Adele?
-...Need a hand with those bags?
-Ain't you done enough drinking for tonight?
-Sometimes... Don't know why it is... I get so hot I can't stand it. I just start sweating like a dog. You ever get like that?
-...never?
-Tell ya Bri., I'm still a little sleepy,... think Adele and me are gonna take us a fiesta.
-Early, just think...
-He's a killer, Brian... He's fucking insane.
-Darlin' you were 'bout that far from spendin' the night at the morgue. You understand?
-Who d'ya think you're foolin'? I know you better than you think...
-You were plenty hot.
-...You know what I mean?
-You're supposed to call me when you lose your job Early. I stopped by the mirror factory today, you left quite a mess behind there.
-...The police were way out of line when they stopped you from beating that bartender half to death. And no doubt God'll be pickin' on you on Judgement Day...
-You be at this personnel office, Friday, three o'clock sharp.
-What is it?
-...Janitor's job.
-What happened?
-Who are you?
-His Parole Officer.
-Right, I talked to you on the phone. They say it's a torch job, that sound like your boy?
-Could be.
-Where would we find him?
-Hell if I know, crazy son of a bitch said he was thinking of moving to Texas.
-What about the owner of the house... ...this John Diebold, any idea where he might be?
-...Diebold?
-...That'd be my guess.
-Looks like somebody cut off his ring finger.
-How old you?
-How many people have you had vaginal intercourse with?
-Umm. Altogether?
-Yes. Altogether.
-Hmm. I'd say eight, maybe nine.
-How many times have you gone unprotected?
-Have you ever had anal intercourse?
-Yes.
-With how many people?
-Umm. Three I believe. But I'm not sure.
-Were they wearing condoms?
-Well, girl. You tested negative for all sexually transmitted diseases and infections.
-Yes!
-You're clean.
-Oh my God. I can't tell you how nervous I've been. I couldn't sleep last night.
-Shit.
-What do you think?
-I knew you fucked it! I sat out here for like two hours! That girl was like twelve, and you hit it up!
-Well, how was it?
-Oh my god, so good. That girl can fuck.
-She can fuck?
-Hell yeah. That bitch was bleeding. When I first put it in she screamed real loud. I saw her bite down on the pillow.
-Oh shit. How long did it take?
-Did what take?
-Well it took me longer than I thought it would take. It took like 15 minutes to talk her into it. But once it was on, we fucked for a good half an hour. I had to keep taking it out and putting it back in. It hurts the first time.
-Yeah.
-But then when she got into it. She really got into it. It was good.
-Oh man, it smells like butterscotch.
-Hell's yeah. She was so clean.
-Oh man, that's the best.
-You could tell she took care of herself. She had all these powders and creams in her bathroom.
-You know what else?
-What?
-I can tell that she had just entered puberty.
-How?
-Well, I was flipping through a picture book of her and her family, right.
-Right.
-And there was this picture of her painting Easter eggs or something. And I said, you were cute when you were little.
-Yeah.
-And I looked at her, and thought to myself Oh my god, this girl is a baby.
-Yeah.
-I'm telling you Casper. I think I'm getting addicted to that shit.
-To what? Virgins?
-Yeah. It's like all I think about now. Not just that, it's like lately during sex, I start dreaming about these complex fantasies.
-What do you mean?
-I mean I'm dreaming about going all out, crazy shit.
-You mean like fucking two virgins at once.
-That would be good. But I mean more like. I don't know. Like when I was having sex with her, I kept thinking how much I would like to put it in her ass. Just to see what would happen.
-She's probably smash you in the fucking face.
-I don't know about that. She was pretty into it. But I wasn't gonna try. The whole thing is, you just gotta take it slow. Show 'em some respect.
-Did you tell her that you loved her?
-Shit.
-What do you want?
-Get another forty. Smoke a blunt.
-Are you hungry?
-You wanna go to Paul's house?
-What for? That guys a dick.
-I'm sure he's got food. He's always got those microwave burrito things in his freezer.
-You think he's got any herb?
-I don't know, he quit dealin' but I'll bet he'll smoke us out.
-You think?
-Probably.
-He lives on 76th?
-78th.
-Telly.
-Yeah.
-Did she suck your dick?
-A little bit. But I didn't really want her to.
-Why?
-I don't know. That's too easy. I mean getting a virgin to suck your dick. That's so easy.
-It is right.
-I want to knock her guard down. I mean there's a whole philosophy behind it. Having a virgin suck your dick, that's basic because there's nothing lost.
-It's no big deal, right?
-Right. But when you deflower a girl, that's it. You did it. You were the one. No one else can ever do it.
-Yeah. The way I see it. My outlook on the this situation is. It's like getting fame, you know what I'm saying. It's like, if you died tomorrow, and fifty years from now all the virgins you fucked are gonna remember you because you were their first.
-Yep.
-You thirsty?
-Yeah, I feel dehydrated.
-You got any money?
-Three pennies and a ball of lint.
-You down with the boost?
-You know like in "The Wonder Twins" they share everything.
-The cartoon?
-Yeah. "The Wonder Twins". You know. Activate in the form of, a glass of water.
-Yeah.
-Well, those guys share everything, right?
-Right.
-And once I saw this episode where they pretended they were each other. Where they lived the other's life for a day. You know those guys share everything, right?
-Right.
-And it got me thinkin'. How fun it would be to share each other's girl.
-Yeah, that would be fun but I don't like any of the girls you go out with. Like that one girl with two teeth and a clit ring.
-Can you do it man?
-That girl you boned last year. Remember?
-But that's the thing. Girl's like it slow. They like romance. They like things to be sweet and romantic.
-Yep.
-I mean I've been with a lot of girls I know.
-I hate this game.
-Man, this guy is really good.
-I wanna fuck Darcy.
-Who?
-Darcy. Benny's little sister.
-Oh. You like her?
-Yeah. I like her. I've wanted to get with her for a while now.
-Darcy?
-Yeah. She's so little, so pretty, and innocent.
-Yeah. She's only 13.
-It's funny. Last weekend at that block party. Remember?
-Yeah.
-She was handing out those watermelon slices. And I sat down over on the other side, And I watched her.
-Yeah.
-I watched her eat the watermelon. And all this juice started running down her chin and onto her shirt.
-Yeah.
-I'm not joking. I wanted to take my dick out and start jacking right there. At that point and moment, Darcy was like a vision of perfection.
-I know what you mean.
-At that moment, at that block party, she represented everything holy about a virgin.
-She hangs out at Nasa. She promotes for them.
-I'm gonna fuck her tonight. I swear to God I'm gonna fuck her.
-How are you gonna fuck two virgins in a day? That shits gotta be against the law.
-I don't care motha fucka. I'll bet you money she fucks me.
-You wanna run by the park and see what everybody's doing? Get zooted?
-I don't understand why you do that.
-Why I do what?
-That.
-Why I give pennies?
-Yeah. Why you give money.
-Did you look at that guy? What the fuck. He had no legs. He had no half his lower body. He's gotta shit out of his ribcage.
-That's just it. It's elitist. It's reverse elitism. Because you give money to whoever is the most fucked up. I notice what you do.
-What are you talking about?
-Whenever you see someone who's really messed up, especially amputees and retards. You give them money. But if it's just a regular bum, you pass them by.
-So.
-So. These people live on the same streets. It's just that you reserve your money for those people who are massively fucked up. The regular bums aren't poor enough for you, you gotta give it to the bottom of the barrel scum fucks.
-So. You never know when you can end up like that.
-Right.
-I'll tell you why. Because when I was little, I had a fat cousin, cousin Luke. And he used to make fun of the handicapped. And one day he had a bad stomachache. So he drank a bottle of Pepto and his ass blew off.
-Shut up.
-So really, it's good luck.
-Good luck?
-Man, Telly, your little brother is getting big.
-Holy shit man, your mom's got good titties.
-How much you gonna take?
-About ten. Fifteen is good.
-You think Darcy is gonna be at Nasa tonight?
-Yo, you got any weed around here?
-Yo. I'm gonna get buff dude.
-You are?
-Nah.
-Why not? You stink.
-Hurry up man. Let's be out. I wanna go swimmin'.
-Casper.
-Hey Jennie. Long time no see. What are you doing here?
-Casper, where's Telly.
-What do ya want with Telly? That guy has enough bitches.
-Casper, where is he?
-Casper! Was up kid?
-Nothen' B.
-Where you at?
-Right here.
-Where you goin' tonight?
-Maybe Nasa. I don't know.
-You goin'?
-Yeah.
-I'm goin'. You on the list?
-Probably. Fuck that, I'll sneak in. I need some female vagina tonight.
-Yo, you think we killed that guy?
-Na.
-You sure?
-I don't know. But all I know is that I kicked him so many times my fuckin' toe feels broken.
-Man we fucked him up.
-No I'm serious. Can I suck your tit? Either of you guys. I don't care.
-I don't know. I just never seen girls that did that shit before. But I think it looks nice.
-Yeah watch the fuck where you skate. You know what I'm saying?
-Yeah, watch where you walk dukes.
-What?
-Nuffin' G. Just forget it.
-Sup then? Sup?
-Sup. Sup.
-Come on nigga. Sup, sup then? Stop faking moves.
-Hey.
-Hey. What are you doin' right now?
-I was just getting ready to take a bath.
-Come on. Come swimmin' with us.
-Right now?
-Yeah. Come on.
-Ooh. You're gonna give me goose bumps.
-You know I've been thinking about you lately.
-You have?
-Yeah. After I saw you last week.
-At the block party?
-I was lookin' for you all day today.
-You were?
-I thought you had a girlfriend.
-Naw. I'm not seeing anybody. What about you?
-No. I can't. My mom won't let me have boyfriends.
-She won't? Why not?
-I don't know. I guess it's cause my sister Nicki had a baby when she was like 15. She was really young so my mom is like very protective over me.
-You should come back with me to Steven's house.
-Tonight?
-Yeah. His parents are away. It's gonna be a bug out.
-I don't know. I'm supposed to go to Nasa tonight.
-Come on. It'll be fun. We'll just bug out. There should be a bunch of people. It'll be fun I promise.
-Yeah?
-Do you like kissing me?
-Uh huh.
-I don't even want to talk, but I gotta tell you that when I first saw you last week, I, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You've been stuck in my head.
-Come on.
-No. No, I'm serious. I'm not joking. I just like you. That's all.
-I'm nervous.
-I like you so much. I think you're beautiful. I think if we fucked you would love it. You wouldn't believe it.
-How do you know?
-I just know. I know you'll love it.
-But I'm scared Telly.
-I'm telling you. There's nothing in the world to worry about.
-Nothing. I'm telling you I just want to make you happy. That's all. Just trust me.
-I don't want you to hurt me.
-I don't want you to hurt you. I'll be gentle.
-Do you care about me?
-Jennie, Jennie. How do you feel?
-Fine Fidget. What's all this?
-Who are they?
-What is it?
-This makes Special K look weak. It's a euphoric blockbuster.
-No, Fidget, I...
-Come on Jennie. You look sad. Just take it.
-No...
-You know what I want to do?
-Yeah.
-What do I want to do?
-You want to fuck me. But you can't fuck me.
-Why?
-Because, you know why. You know.
-Because your a virgin?
-Because I'm a virgin and I don't want no baby.
-You think I want a baby? When you're with me, you don't have to worry about that kinda stuff.
-Why is that?
-Because I like you. I think you're beautiful. I think if we fucked you would love it. You wouldn't even believe it.
-I wouldn't believe it?
-I don't know. I just think that you would love it.
-But, I don't know. I'm just scared that things would change. Between us.
-You know it won't hurt. I'll be gentle. I promise.
-Do you care about me?
-Dance!
-What?
-Come dance.
-I don't feel so well. Have you seen Telly anywhere?
-Telly is at Steven's?
-How old are you?
-How many people have you had vaginal intercourse with?
-One.
-Have you ever had anal intercourse?
-Jennie. You've tested positive for the HIV infection.
-What?
-The test isn't one hundred percent accurate. You should...
-I tested positive?
-I'm sorry.
-Can I ask you a question? I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a pest.
-What?
-No. I'm OK. Thanks.
-You're OK?
-Yeah.
-Because gee, you don't look OK. I mean you're a very beautiful young lady. It's just that you look troubled that's all...
-Yeah well, it's been a bad day.
-Sorry.
-Miss, would I be prying?
-Everything is wrong.
-No, not everything? The sun is still shinning. It's a beautiful day out. Some things are OK. Right?
-Yeah, I guess so.
-Did you and your boyfriend just break up?
-No.
-Are you in trouble with the law?
-No.
-Now that's it. A smile. You look like a prom queen when you smile. Like a glamour girl.
-Yeah?
-Oh yeah, sure. When I was a kid I had a crush on the prom queen. Darlene Louis. She had a big black mole in the center of her face that used to get me so excited. Darlene Louis. You know you look a little bit like her.
-Thanks.
-I swear to God. Sometimes he barks. I can hear him straight off my arm. Ruff, ruff, he goes.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. I'm not saying you should get a tattoo. But you should make yourself happy.
-What if you can't make yourself happy? What if everything falls apart?
-Your a real philosopher.
-Hello.
-Hello Paul. Is Telly inside?
-Is Telly there? This is Paul. Who is this?
-It's Jennie. Just tell me if Telly is there.
-Oh hi Jennie. Do you want to come make out with me?
-I'm fucking serious. Where's Telly?
-Telly says was up.
-I knew he wouldn't want to speak to me. That dick.
-You still mad at him?
-The pain. The fucking pain!
-And you feel like you're being ripped open inside.
-You are being ripped open.
-I know.
-Did you bleed?
-I didn't bleed.
-You didn't?
-Hell yeah. I love. I love sex.
-Right. You're like it's just this instinct. It's like this animal instinct is taking over you. It's like...
-Passion...
-Yep, yep. But he has to know what he's doing and where he's going. Because they can like touch you for hours and they won't ever know.
-Like where are your erogenous zones?
-Mine?
-I hate sucking dick!
-Yeah. 'Cause they fucking shoot you in the eye, the face, the ear.
-And sometimes it takes a long time, and you're fucking gagging.
-Yeah. And then it hits that little thing. That little punch bag. What is it? The tonsils. The esophagus, whatever.
-Yeah. And you're not getting anything out of it.
-Wish me luck.
-Shh. Come on, it's gonna be OK.
-That's it. I'm gonna have to tell my little brother, I'm gonna die. I can't make him his lunches anymore.
-Come on. Don't cry. We'll work it out.
-I gotta go. I gotta find Telly.
-Don't go anywhere. Stay with me.
-I'm coming.
-Just a lot of crazy shit.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. Have you seen Telly around?
-Yeah. Speaking of stupid shit. Him and his ape ass of a friend Casper, they all just almost killed some kid.
-What happened?
-I don't know. Just some messy little scrap. You know that bullshit.
-Do you know where he went?
-I'm not sure. He said something about meeting Darcy. I think he likes her now.
-Who, Benny's little sister?
-Uh, let's see here, would you happen to have diss digg?
-Whah?
-Diss digg. I'm curious if you have it?
-Diss digg, diss digg, diss digg.
-I'll ask you one last time. Do you have diss digg?
-Yeah. And sex is just like, yeah let's have sex.
-You know... You know a lot of times sex gets in the way. Has that ever happened to you?
-Yep.
-I was like yes! I'm going out with him!
-That's right. That's why foreplay is better than sex.
-Yep.
-And you don't get shit out of it.
-Yep. That's the best way. It's that boom boom boom.
-Right. You know it's not like... You know there's a difference between sex, making love, and fucking!
-Yep.
-Making love is like.
-Yeah.
-It's like...
-You know what it's like. It's like when you really love someone, it's like awww.
-Yeah.
-Its like. But it gets boring. It's boring.
-Yeah. Mine are my toes. Oh my God if someone sucks my toes I'll come in like ten seconds!
-Yeah. It depends. Cause like this one time with Eric, when we got blasted at his house. And Smash J and DJ Flipper was there...
-Oh shit.
-Yep.
-But then the sex gets into the way and you're like: What happened! What the hell happened?!
-Yeah. The shit gets wacked. Fifteen minutes.
-Yeah. Fifteen minutes to a half an hour. Hard and deep.
-Me. I can only take it up to fifteen minutes. Cause I get bored.
-Yeah I get bored.
-I've known the past of all the people I've fucked without a condom. Like I know one of the people got tested and was negative.
-Yeah.
-And I know that one of them fucked like two other girls, who were both virgins, so I knew he was safe.
-Yeah.
-I made her get tested with me because I didn't want to go alone.
-How can you hang out with Casper? He's such a jerk.
-You think so?
-Yeah. I've always hated that kid. He used to eat glue in like seventh grade.
-He still does.
-I hate 'em.
-It's not his fault. He had a hard life.
-Yeah?
-You've heard the stories right?
-So that's why Casper is how he is.
-Yep.
-Holy shit. That's all true?
-No. I was just kidding.
-What?!
-Hi mom.
-Sorry. Dad made me promise not to give you any money until you find a job.
-But then I won't need your money.
-Mom.
-Shh.
-I'm gonna go out for a little while.
-When are you gonna be back?
-Not too late.
-Four-thirty in the morning?
-Hey Mom. Are you sure I can't get any money? Just a few bucks.
-If I had it, maybe. But right now I don't have a penny to my name.
-Hello?
-It's me. Telly.
-Hello?
-What are you guys doing?
-Nothing. We just wanted to come by and see what you were up to.
-You want a wip-it?
-So, how many people live here now?
-I don't know, eight or nine.
-Where does everyone sleep?
-That's the whole thing. You know if you look at it. I mean all you hear about is disease this and disease that. And everyone's dying. And you better wear a condom or else. But the truth is. I don't know any kids with AIDS. No one I know has ever died from that shit. It's like some weird make-believe story that the whole
-First times are always wacked. Just be glad you didn't lose your virginity in the backseat of a rental car.
-Slow.
-Yeah.
-Right.
-And we were like underneath the sheets. We were going at it like crazy. Oh my God that shit was so good! It was like hard...
-Yeah.
-Yeah. And it takes them either too long or too short to come. Have you ever had someone that took forever
-To come?
-It was... it was.
-It's like sweet and sour, and salty butter.
-No, no, no. You can't get that taste out of your mouth. Until you eat something.
-Yeah.
-What man? What is it?
-Yo, let me get in your parent's room man. Just fir a little while.
-I can't man.
-Come on Steven hook me up. Do me this solid. Come on man. I gotta get Darcy alone. She's gonna let me fuck her man. Please.
-Shit. All right. But don't fuck with anything OK?
-I've talked to a few people who say you and her were... friendly?
-By yourself?
-We seem to have a little problem here?
-What kind of problem?
-I think you're lying. That's what kind of problem.
-Casual.
-Casual? You were boning her weren't you?
-It wasn't serious. What's your problem?
-You are! I don't like you.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-It means, if I were a killer and I thought the police were closing in on me I might invent someone to try and put them off the scent.
-That's crazy! Why would I draw attention to myself like that?
-You like to play games, don't you, Peter?
-He says on the photo he'll call tomorrow at eleven. Why not come back then and listen for yourself.
-Meaning, it looks like his victims are chosen at random.
-What do you mean, no?
-He says it's a game. All games have a strategy.
-All you gotta do is look at the map.
-Morpheus.
-What?
-Are you crazy?
-What in the hell do you think you're doing? Slamming down the phone in the middle of the trace.
-We didn't ask for your opinion, Doctor.
-You don't tell us how to run our investigation. You got that?
-You know, I figure that's pretty much how these girl's feel just before they get it. You think I'm right?
-I wouldn't know.
-That's right. I guess only the killer would know that.
-How'd you get in here?
-The door was open.
-No it wasn't.
-Of course it was. Otherwise I'd be breaking and entering. That's a felony.
-What do you want?
-No.
-I used to. With my old man. He taught me how to hunt and trap. Trapping's a lot harder than most people think. We used to go after Raccoons mostly. They'd get into our garbage, our fields. When an animal can't live peacefully with those around it, it has to be destroyed. But they're crafty little devils. You see the trick is, you can
-What if he doesn't bite? What if he's an exceptionally bright Raccoon?
-You got it on the board.
-No, I need the original note.
-He's not talking about himself.
-Then what's he talking about?
-Then let's narrow it down.
-We're interested in where you were from the time you left the auditorium until you got there.
-You sure you weren't over on Pine Road?
-I'm positive.
-You're a lying bastard!
-Fuck you! I'm tired of your goddam accusations! If you want to arrest me go ahead! Otherwise back off.
-Yes you are.
-You set yourself up tonight when you attacked Kathy, you crazy fuck!
-The message! I figured out--
-You want me to what?
-I want you to feed every street in this grid into your computer.
-It'll take hours. You can't make me do this.
-You're right, I can't make you do it. Besides, you're probably gonna be too busy with the Franchise Tax Board anyway.
-What are you talking about?
-I gotta friend over there. He was telling me things are kind of slow. So, I figured I'd give him a call, have him come down here and look through your records. You know, give him something to do.
-Sorry to ruin your trip to the city, but we got a real nut on our hands, Frank.
-Debi Rutlege. Female. Caucasian. Twenty four. Worked over at the Four Oaks Hotel.
-Local?
-What do you think?
-He's got an answer for everything, but he doesn't have an alibi.
-You think he's dirty?
-We wouldn't want someone's death to interfere with your games.
-Take it easy. Both of you.
-No shit!
-Sorry.
-The F.B.I. has nothing remotely similar to this guy. I think he's a first- timer.
-You still having a problem with this?
-We've checked. There's no one with the last name of Emma on the Island.
-How is she?
-She's unconscious, but they think she's going to make it.
-You alright?
-I've seen a lot of things in my time on the job, but nothing like this. Yurilivich?
-I was with him the whole time until I got the call at the hotel.
-I spoke to Jeremy. He's watching Sanderson's kid. Sanderson went out after the match and hasn't come back since.
-What is it?
-Ready for round two?
-You should be an actor, Frank. You looked like you were really mad. The veins popping out on your neck was a really nice touch.
-Why does he call Sanderson?
-Sending yourself anonymous notes in the mail is one thing -- but who called him today?
-I don't know. Maybe there's two of them. Maybe he hired some Wino to make the calls.
-A few people.
-Did anyone stand out?
-What do you mean, stand out?
-Did anyone look suspicious? Think!
-Now that you mention it there was somebody who looked suspicious.
-It doesn't make sense because we don't understand it.
-Don't fuck with us! Where did you go!
-Remember eventually revenge is carefully... Have you tired juxtaposing the words?
-Oh, c'mon. We're not going to spend any more time on this crap, are we? It doesn't mean anything. It's Sanderson!
-It isn't him. Frank, you brought me in on this in the beginning because you wanted my opinion if he was capable of doing this.
-We'll find the evidence.
-Hello, Peter.
-Who is this?
-Someone who's going to become an important part of your life. I want to play a game with you.
-Hello, Peter.
-Very amateurish, Peter. I'm surprised you would use such an obvious tactic. I'm not an idiot! Don't treat me as one! I'll call you everyday... You get one minute, whether you put me on hold or talk is up to you! Are you ready to play?
-Yes. Why did you kill Debi Rutlege?
-To get your attention.
-Did you know her?
-And -- what path is that?
-We all have paths to follow. You hope yours will lead you to me.
-Why did you write remember on the wall?
-That's something you'll have to figure out for yourself. Really, Peter, you can't expect me to answer such direct questions.
-Why not?
-You don't want to think and that's why I'll win! I'm already two points ahead.
-I did another one last night. You might have saved her, but you didn't want to play.
-Where is she?
-You'll find her.
-I suppose you want to know where I'm going to kill tonight, Peter?
-You're not going to tell me that.
-Hello?
-Do you know what I'm doing right now, Peter? I'm looking at the name of the girl I'm going to kill tonight.
-You know her?
-Not really.
-Why her?
-Because she's the type.
-But you said you didn't know her.
-I know what I said! She looks just like...
-Just like who?
-I really wish you'd stop trying to maneuver me. I find it irritating, not to mention insulting.
-I'm just trying to play the game.
-I'm sure there are other people who would be interested in what I have to say.
-Just for that no hint today.
-Why are you doing this? You must have some idea of the pain you're causing people.
-And you want these girls to feel your pain?
-Please, I don't want to get into the psychological aspects of my actions. It would detract from the game.
-How?
-Huxley's quote also says, "his play is always fair and just."
-Have you any idea what the message is?
-If it's so important, why don't you just tell me?
-I couldn't tell you that. It would ruin the game. Not that you're playing it very well.
-What?
-You heard me. Why did you go out to the institute looking for her?
-What makes you think I was there?
-I couldn't tell you that. It would ruin the game.
-It's you who's running out of time. You're starting to make mistakes now. You're wondering just how much I really know. Just how close I'm getting? Well, I'm closer than you think, pal -- and I'm gonna nail your ass to the wall!
-Hello.
-Last night was very exciting, wasn't it? Have you figured out what I'm doing?
-You're playing the Tarakoss opening.
-Very good.
-You're next move should have been e2- e3.
-I used a variation. You should have anticipated that. Have you figured out the message?
-What word did you leave last night?
-The police haven't told you?
-Interesting concept. I hadn't thought of that. If you think about how Anton Berger plays chess you might get it.
-I'm beginning to think it doesn't mean anything. Remember eventually revenge- -
-Hello, Peter.
-You sonofabitch!
-Emotional? I expected more from you.
-If you kill tonight and I'm in jail the police will know I'm innocent.
-By that time the game will be over.
-I've figured out the message.
-Yes?
-Congratulations on your daring escape. You just missed me by a few seconds. It's check, Peter.
-Let me speak to my daughter.
-She's in the other room. I just wanted you to know she wasn't dead... yet. But it's time for her to die now.
-Please... wait.
-The game's over. You lost.
-It's me you want. Not her.
-That wouldn't be very sporting. Remember Huxley? "His play is always fair and just."
-You're groping. I have been fair. It's my move now.
-I'll give you anything you want. Anything! Please!
-I was thinking about leaving the phone line open so you could hear her die -- but I've decided it's better if you don't know exactly when I kill her. Good-bye Peter.
-I know where you are.
-Very good. How did you know?
-How'd you know I wouldn't be in the same room with her?
-This isn't going to help, David. You're mother's dead. You can't undo it.
-You don't understand.
-Yes, I do. I found your file. I know what happened.
-They took away the game because of him. My father left and my mother... There was so much blood... It covered everything.
-Don't you see? I had to make it right. I ignored my mother's crossing. I sat with them all. I held their hands. I stroked their hair. I was with them to the end. I took away the blood. I washed them. Their crossing was peaceful.
-Naw, it's all fixed. I also loaded up a program that'll analyze your games three hundred percent faster.
-What's this?
-Oh, I put a few games on for your daughter. I hope you don't mind.
-Sure. We've got a modem line hooked up with the data base in New York.
-Can we correlate data? Look for specific things, like player's ages... stuff like that?
-No problem. We're in.
-Nope. Nothing.
-D2-d4... b1-c3... and c1-f4. It's the number two variation of the Tarakoss opening. David, can you bring up the tournament records for the last ten years.
-Now what?
-There's three. The first is 1983. Lionel Baines. The Boston...
-Never mind. He died two years ago.
-1985. Hans Korshaud.
-What is it?
-Computers. That's how you got into Homesearchers records. You can get into anything. But why? Why?
-You still haven't figured it out, have you? You think that I've put you through an ordeal. My scars run so much deeper than yours.
-What scars?
-You might not have done it had you known.
-You're damn right! I'm a child psychologist and you send me into a room with someone who could be a murderer!
-Would you mind keeping your voice down? I have guests.
-The police came to me for help. What could I do?
-You could have been honest with me for starters. We work together. I have to be able to trust you.
-I admit I handled it badly. Sanderson wasn't going to talk to me... but you're young, attractive--
---the same type as the girl who got killed. Jesus, Alan, the guy could be a psychopath.
-They asked who would be best suited for this and you--
-It worked out alright, didn't it?
-Feeling better?
-I just can't believe it.
-You don't want to believe it. It's a normal reaction.
-Kathy, please. You're going to wear a hole in the carpet.
-I'm just nervous. Sorry.
-You're safe. He wouldn't come here.
-Why did he?
-Why did he what?
-Come here.
-He was watching you.
-Yeah -- that's what we've always thought -- but what if he wasn't? What if I had nothing to do with the reason he came here?
-You must be Erica.
-Uh huh.
-Is your dad here?
-So, are you having a good time on the Island?
-Not really. It's pretty boring.
-That's only because you don't know where to go. You like hiking? Fishing? Sailing? What do you like?
-Do you like my dad?
-I know he really likes you.
-How do you know that? Did he say something?
-Okay. Nice meeting you.
-Congratulations, dad.
-What are you doing up?
-I can't sleep. My beds lumpy.
-I see. You forgot to bring you're night-light, didn't you?
-That has nothing to do with it.
-You want to sleep in my bed tonight?
-Who told you that?
-Mrs. Lutz. She also told me that Mr. Lutz goes to a medium to try and contact great Grandmasters in the spirit world.
-Has he gotten through to any?
-What is it, dad?
-Don't you have something you want to say to David?
-You ready?
-For what?
-You told me you'd take me over to Seattle today.
-I'm sorry, honey, I can't. Not today.
-It isn't Kathy.
-Whaddaya got, Nolan?
-Not much. There's no sign of a break in. I think she let him in.
-How long has she been dead?
-Six, eight hours tops.
-Any sign of rape?
-There's no blood. Where's the fuckin' blood?
-Anything?
-Not much. I don't think she was raped. There's no bruising, or any signs of trauma to the pelvic region -- and no trace of sperm which makes sense because she took a bath.
-What about prints?
-No prints.
-You mean, no prints but hers?
-He tapes their mouths shut. We found traces of adhesive around the victims mouths. We're doing a chemical analysis for components, but it's probably a standard brand you can buy in any hardware store.
-There's only two hardware stores on the whole Island. We'll check that out. What about the blood?
-This is where he forced his way in. We found some fibers on the windowsill, probably particles of clothing that rubbed off when he climbed through. I'll know more once I get it under the microscope.
-That's great.
-Same as the others?
-Yeah.
-How long she been dead?
-I'd say at least eighteen hours.
-Well?
-Well what? I told you this was a stupid idea. You can't learn anything from someone in a few minutes.
-You didn't pick up any vibes from the guy?
-I'm a psychologist, Frank... not a psychic. What's this all about anyway?
-Only that you wanted someone from the institute to talk to Sanderson for some case you're working on. What'd he do?
-We're not sure.
-What do you think he did?
-I'm busy right now.
-I see you're still having problems with your openings.
-And this Jeremy--
-No. I told him to. I wanted to make sure there was someone on the other end.
-But we heard him.
-Kathy?
-Well, the fact that he views this as a game suggests that he is trying to prove some sense of superiority -- and the way he murders confirms a need to be in complete control of his victim.
-That would indicate he's playing out a fantasy. Power-control killers usually fantasize about their actions long before they commit them. Once they become a reality though, they reach a sense of euphoria and need to repeat the act to sustain it. But, in all the research I've read on Serial Killers, I've never heard of one moving so fast. It's as if the game
-Anything else?
-Yes. Why disguise your voice if no one knows it?
-I was thinking the same thing. He must be local. It's logical for him to assume that the police would be there, but he recognized Andy's voice and called him by name. What about this?
-I don't think it matters. Last nights victim, Christie Eastman was found in a warehouse on the outskirts of town. The night before, Debi Rutlege was found in the center.
-His home would be... Mount Olympus.
-Before we go in I gotta tell you this isn't going to be pretty.
-I know that. I've seen the photo's.
-You never know how you're going to catch a suspect.
-Well, I think you have to play to his ego. He thinks he's superior. The more secure he feels, the more chances he'll take.
-Maybe we should back up a minute and take a look at what we do have. All the girls that have been killed have been killed at night. They're all the same type. All moved into their homes within the last three months -- and all of them found their homes through Homesearchers.
-I thought that Homesearchers was a dead end?
-It can't be a coincidence. The woman that owns it has a son. She says he's been on vacation in Montana for the last ten days. We're trying to locate him. There's also a cleaning service that comes in once a week. We're checking that out too.
-Each of those grids represents almost a square mile.
-As large as castles.
-What time did he get there?
-He's right, Kathy.
-We can't rely on your judgement anymore.
-And what if he's wrong. If you were one hundred percent sure it was Peter you would've arrested him. If it is someone else then he's going to kill again tonight and you're sitting here ignoring the message.
-We're going to work on the message.
-This stinks! You want to know what I think? I think there have been five murders and you've got shit to go on. You need to blame someone and he's the easiest choice.
-The most logical choice.
-Did you see his face?
-No. He was wearing a mask... but I saw the cut on his wrist. It was Peter.
-I can't arrest someone for having a cut on their wrist. Do you have someone you can stay with tonight?
-I've got a room at the institute I use when I stay late.
-If you can think of anything else give us a call.
-Excuse me... you said earlier that Mary Albert just moved in. How long ago was that?
-Ten days ago.
-Do you know how she found the apartment?
-Through a rental agency.
-I know you're busy so I'll get right to it. Did you know her?
-Could you tell me where you were last night?
-Here. I played Gregory Lutz.
-I know. You won two games against him and left the auditorium at eight forty five. Where did you go after that?
-This is a printout from the hotel computer for all the messages logged to your room. Here's one at 9:04 pm. It says: From Debi. Please call me at home.
-She called to give me my schedule for tomorrow.
-What's interesting about it is you say you only knew her in passing. Yet, she says on her message for you to call her at home and she doesn't leave a number. That would imply you already knew the number.
-Why didn't you tell us you were there earlier?
-Mister Sanderson, this is Doctor Sheppard. She's a psychologist helping us out.
-You want me to go with you? Maybe I can help.
-What have you come up with on the riddle?
-"Wee Willie Winkie runs though the street." We think he might be making a reference to himself.
-Maybe, but I don't think so. I think it's just a tease.
-That's it?
-We think he might be making a reference to drugs? Miss Emma is a street term used by junkies for Morphine.
-Another one? What word did he leave?
-As large as castles. You are still light as air, one hundred men can't move me.
-He's using the map as a chessboard! The sonofabitch is playing chess with me!!
-How can he be playing Chess with you? You're not making any moves against him.
-I still don't see how he could be playing chess against you. There's only enough grids on the map to be half a board.
-It's a commercial area. No one lives there.
-As large as castles, you are still light as the air, one hundred men can't move me. It's posed as a question. What am I?
-A building?
-He's not going to give us direct hints. He's going to skirt around it.
-A shadow. What's as big a castle? As light as air , but one hundred men can't move it? The shadow of the castle. Are there any buildings that have the name Castle in it that cast a shadow long enough to fall across another building?
-Wait a minute. There's an apartment in that area called the Castle Arms.
-Where were you last night?
-Are we going to go through this again?
-Answer the question.
-Jeremy would have never killed himself.
-Maybe he just got tired of covering for you.
-Don't you understand what I'm telling you? That's why he wants me out of the way.
-I understand that this is just another one of your games.
-Alright, c'mon Peter. We're moving you to a cell.
-Did you send the car?
-You opened with the English. Lutz won't use it. He opened his first game with it.
-He knows you're aware of that.
-Then I'll transpose.
-On a variation, yes -- but it must be a variation that is unique.
-It's a good play, but risky.
-We got a problem?
-Our computer went on the fritz again. David came up to fix it.
-Peter...
-I've got be here for the police when they come. Then I've got to practise. In case you forgot I'm in the middle of a match right now.
-You're always in the middle of a match.
-You have something you want to say?
-Just thought you might want to talk.
-About what?
-Whatever's on your mind.
-What do you see here?
-Mate in five.
-She went into town with Mrs. Lutz. Did they get him?
-No.
-Feel like practicing?
-Bainbridge Books.
-Hi, Sara. This is Doctor Sheppard. I was wondering if you could tell me if you have a book on chess called "Principals and Tactics" by Anton Berger.
-I can check and call you back.
-Thank you. I'm at 639-7393.
-Bainbridge Books.
-Sara, this is Doctor Sheppard. I called you earlier about a book.
-Yes, Doctor Sheppard. We called you back but you weren't home. We have the book.
-Could you please do me a big favor? In the first chapter the author mentions his three rules of chess. Could you look and tell me what they are?
-Of course. Yes, here it is. Why, they're all the same?
-What are they, please?
-Sorry. I thought it was empty.
-Is this your first time here?
-I love this hotel. I stay here every time I visit my parents.
-How come you don't stay with them?
-Because I love them, but they drive me crazy. You know how parents are?
-Are you with the tournament?
-Uh huh.
-Are you one of the players?
-Yes.
-I've always wanted to learn how to play chess. I don't have the patience for it. When did you start playing?
-When I was very young.
-It seems like such a complicated game.
-Not really. You see your goal and you go after it. Anything that gets in the way is an obstacle and must be destroyed.
-Sounds very violent.
---but you enjoy being the stronger one? You like the control.
-If you're asking me if I'm passionate about what I do, the answer is yes. Without passion, nothing moves us. What's your passion?
-That's a very personal question.
-I see. This is going to be a very polite conversation. What shall we discuss? The weather? Movies?
-Are you disappointed that I won't answer you?
-I had just hoped there would be more substance to the conversation.
-I thought opening too quickly was a fatal mistake in chess.
-It is.
-Do you always open quickly?
-Are we talking about me, or chess?
-You.
-Each circumstance requires a different tactic.
-Well, I think I've had enough.
-What are you looking for?
-Nothing. I just came in for a steam.
-They couldn't break the riddle.
-Did you think it was going to be easy? You think he was going to lay it out at your feet?
-We need your help.
-I offered my help this morning and Sedman turned me down.
-But you're the key. The one he wants to play the game with.
-I can't right now. I've got a game.
-She could be dead after the game.
-She could be dead now.
-You sure you don't want to eat something?
-It's going to be a long night. It could take hours before we know something. You should try to eat.
-You sound like my mother.
-It wasn't intentional.
-I think it's interesting.
-Another kind of game?
-In a way.
-This isn't a game.
-Oh, but it is. He's killing a person everyday and challenging us to catch him. That's a game. It has rules and objectives.
-How can you look at it so clinically?
-Take your average cop. They deal with death everyday. If they let emotions get in the way it would cloud their judgement.
-That's true -- but the emotion is still there. They just learn to control it.
-What about you? Aren't there times when a young child is telling you a story so sad you just want to cry?
-Of course.
-Do you?
-Let's change the subject.
-I'm just curious.
-I think it's best if we don't ask too many personal questions -- I want to keep things on a professional level.
-You mean like in the steam room?
-That's not fair!
-You're projecting your own desires and reading more into what happened than what actually did.
-You have to win every point, don't you?
-I just wanted to know if you're involved with anyone? Let me ask you something? Do your colleagues know if you're involved or not?
-Of course.
-Why?
-No.
-You're not?
-Relax.
-How the hell can I relax after seeing what I just saw.
-I know it was bad.
-I know you didn't
-You know, Andy thinks you're doing this.
-Doesn't that scare you?
-No.
-Why?
-Can you go fifteen minutes without thinking about it?
-No. But I'm open to distractions.
-You know, you're not the easiest person in the world to get close to.
-You always want to talk about me. What about you?
-Wasn't I just talking about me?
-No. You were talking about chess.
-Alright. What about me?
-I dunno. Where's Erica mother?
-She died in a car accident.
-I'm sorry.
-It's alright. It was a long time ago.
-It must've been very hard on Erica?
-It was.
-What?
-Have you noticed that every time we start to talk about something serious you start to play games.
-I'm not playing a game now.
-Yes you are. You're playing word games.
-What is this?
-I'm just trying to get to know you, Peter.
-Nobody could attack you. You set your life up like one of your chessboards. You're impregnable -- but at the same time you've become trapped behind your own defenses. You're cut off from everyone around you.
-What are you talking about? You don't even know me.
-I just don't want to fight with you.
-This frightens me -- because I'm starting to feel things I haven't felt in a long time.
-You've got to face the things you feel.
-I thought you were the woman who didn't want to get involved.
-You can turn everything around so easily. This is not just another game, is it?
-I'm hungry.
-Fine.
-What do you want on it?
-You.
-Would you settle for pepperoni?
-Did you call?
-They're not delivering. I'm going to go pick up the pizza.
-I thought you said the line was busy?
-I tried again and got through.
-What's wrong?
-Nothing.
-Peter, you have to admit--
-Peter...
-In a fierce magazine you'll find a hint of my actions to come... Why does he set this line apart?
-For emphasis?
-Exactly. It's the key.
-But what does he mean by a fierce magazine? Violent?
-A fierce magazine... brutal... An angry magazine... A war magazine... a mercenary magazine... fierce... Mad.
-What?
-He's replaying the game I played against him move by move, using these girls as the Chess pieces. All the girls have been found in their homes except Christie Eastman, who was found in back of a warehouse. Why?
-Because to follow the game he played he had to move to that grid?
-Hi.
-The other night -- I said some things that maybe I shouldn't have. I mean, you haven't known me very long and I can see how you thought what you did.
-I'm not looking for an apology, Peter.
-I was thinking that... maybe when this is all over we could...
-I want someone I can get close to. I don't know if that's possible with you.
-Peter...
-No, listen. You have no idea of the kind of pressure I'm under right now.
-That's still no excuse. You treat everything like a game.
-I can't think any more, unless it's about you. I'll be in the middle of a match and instead of thinking about my next move, I think about how you look when you smile. Remember how you said that I hide behind my chessboard? Ever since my wife died I've been... I've been afraid of getting too close to someone again -- afraid of
-You're wife died. You can't feel responsible for that.
-You don't understand.
-Then help me to understand. I want to understand.
-It's not that easy.
-Of course it isn't. It's always difficult when someone you love dies. But you can't feel responsible because she had a car accident.
-But I do.
-Why?
-This letter. I've never opened it.
-Why not?
-Because I know what it says.
-If we could just figure out what the next word is going to be. He said the game's going to end tonight so there's only going to be one more word.
-It could be anything.
-How did you know it was "carefully"?
-Frank told me.
-You're right. The killer told me.
-This isn't going to be like the phone book, is it?
-You're going to be late for your match.
-Are you going to come tonight?
-You beat him.
-I got lucky.
-It's over now.
-I just wanted you to know in case you thought about it in the future.
-Hello, Peter. You played an interesting game last night. Even though sacrificing your Queen at b-5 is the game I played against Valsney in '82. I'm glad it helped you.
-I'm sure you are.
-No, I want you to do good. That way when I beat you at the end I'll look that much better.
-You're getting sloppy, Yurilivich. You're nervous?
-I'm not nervous.
-Well, you should be, because this time I'm going to win.
-I'm sorry. I couldn't help it.
-I don't have to go through with it either.
-You don't understand. I'm just so <u>relieved</u>. I was <u>sure</u> you'd turn out to be short and fat and gimpy.
-Oh. That. I know what you mean. I had nightmares all week.
-Me too.
-Last night was the worst. I dreamt you had one leg shorter than the other, and walked like a penguin.
-Mine was worse: I dreamt you picked your nose in public.
-That's worse.
-You're really not bad looking. Almost handsome.
-Well, you're beautiful.
-You <u>might</u> be handsome. I can't tell through all that grime. Besides, you reek of sweat and horses.
-If you're going to marry a warrior, you'd best get used to it.
-Take off your clothes. I'm going to scrub you down.
-<u>What</u>?
-We're almost married.
-We're not married <u>yet</u>.
-I don't trust you to wash behind your ears.
-There. Now you look like someone I might want to marry.
-Maybe you'd better look around for another candidate. I don't think my skin is tough enough to survive a lifetime of you and your brush.
-I don't have to look around. I've found the husband I want. You can kiss me now.
-Thank you, but I can wait.
-I lied.
-About what?
-Lyssa ... Lyssa ...
-Have they harmed you?
-Lyssa. Where are they keeping you?
-Lyssa ...
-Colwyn ...
-Where is the Fortress?
-I don't know. It's a maze of tunnels. I can't see out.
-I will find you. I will be with you.
-I know it.
-I love you, Lyssa, I love you ...
-Colwyn ...
-You must move away from the Center.
-Will your power outward.
-I don't know how.
-Take the western passage.
-Yes.
-Move quickly. We are coming for you. We are in the Fortress.
-Lyssa ...
-In the Arctic ice.
-That's a better one.
-You'll both wait. At least for five hours. The wedding is at three.
-It was a platonic kiss, Father.
-They have Lyssa!
-You will go alone.
-I won't leave you here.
-You will do as I tell you. You will try to reach Ynyr, the old one.
-I must follow the Slayers. They've taken Lyssa.
-The White Castle has fallen.
-Does the Queen live?
-The new Queen lives.
-Turold's son was to marry her.
-We were married. Then she was taken by the Slayers. You must help me.
-This is not the first time the Dark Ones have attacked our world. They came once before, a thousand years ago. A young king and queen, with extraordinary powers, were given to us then, to lead the struggle. My fore-father was their Councilor, as I will be yours.
-I have no extraordinary powers.
-Your powers are greater than you know. Have you ever seen one of these?
-With two or three days' practice, you'll be able to use it as well as I can. Then we'll have a chance of fighting our way out of here.
-Two or three days! While Lyssa is in their hands?
-There is no other way.
-But it opens onto the sheer wall of the Needle. There's no way down.
-You have rope?
-I am too old to climb down a rope.
-There is nothing.
-Reach out farther. Call to her.
-You must break when the strain becomes too great, or you will harm yourself. And you must concentrate your powers for when they are needed most. What did she answer?
-She was in a great fortress, first in the mountains, then in the jungle. How is that possible?
-It is the Fortress of Krull. I know it only from the stories of wars on other worlds. They did not use it on our world in the first great war, for it costs them enormous power. This time they mean to conquer, at all costs.
-The Fortress moves?
-Yes. Each dawn it rises in a different land: sometimes in the mountains, sometimes in the jungle, sometimes the desert, sometimes the sea. Never in the same place twice.
-Then even if Lyssa tells us where she is, we'll never be able to reach her, for they will never allow the Fortress to rise near us.
-No. They occupy the Fortress, but they cannot control its movement. It is moved by Fate. And, sooner or later, Fate will place it near us.
-Then we must be ready. Five leagues from here is the Eastern Tower. I know the Barons who hold it. Good men, and brave. They will help us.
-You have not slept in two days.
-You choose these?
-They know when they're going to die?
-I can't reach her.
-What do you see?
-She can't see out. She can't tell us where the Fortress is.
-Yes, they knew of your first contact, so they drove her below.
-She was very faint. I was barely able to reach her.
-The deeper she goes, the harder it is to contact her. Once she is below the second level, you will not be able to reach her at all.
-I cannot reach her.
-The first time, when they attacked long ago, was The Beast here?
-No. Then they were led by his underlings. But I knew he had come this time, from the ferocity of their onslaught, from their use of The Fortress. They use up much of their strength to do these things. They are taking great risks.
-<u>Why</u>?
-I'm not sure.
-But you suspect.
-No. We will find another way to locate the Fortress.
-There is no other way. You asked me why the Beast had come this time.
-Yes.
-He has come for Lyssa.
-Lyssa? <u>Why</u>?
-Like you, she has extraordinary powers. He would make her his Queen.
-Can she be forced?
-No. She must agree of her own free will.
-Never.
-You are young. You don't understand the attraction of great power, and you forget the pain of long waiting.
-Then we must reach her before she feels that pain.
-Traitor! She'll marry you in hell!
-I will melt that gold and pour it down your throat, old man!
-From here, I must go alone.
-You will tell me her name and we will go together.
-He ran a great risk, helping us today. If he opposes his fate, his death will be terribly painful.
-They will hold Lyssa in the Center of the Vortex, the place of the Beast, where its power is greatest. No man can match it there. Lyssa must try to move toward us. For as we enter the Vortex and move closer ...
-The Beast will kill her.
-She must make a glaive.
-The spiral begins in the west.
-She's on the other side of this wall. I can feel it!
-I chose the wrong passage.
-She can see the Beast!
-Use your sword.
-What use is my sword? I can't reach her!
-You must move quickly. The Beast will stop at nothing now.
-You're coming with us.
-It is my fate to die in the Fortress.
-No! You cannot know that!
-I can. Because I choose it.
-How did you know?
-Slayers!
-Do not let the waters touch you.
-They can be saddled.
-You have done it?
-I road them often in my youth.
-It is today?
-Each to his fate.
-I know the cruelty of such a fate.
-Perhaps you think no man would return to me.
-Am I not worth returning to?
-Yes.
-Am I not beautiful enough to be loved?
-Yes.
-Even by you?
-You too are lonely.
-I ache with it.
-Let me comfort you.
-I cannot take comfort when she has none.
-Then give me comfort. Sleep with me tonight.
-I cannot betray my bride.
-I feel your pain, but I cannot betray her.
-You will not, then?
-Help! Help! I'm drowning!
-I doubt it. The water is only an inch deep.
-It could have been quicksand! I might have been sucked to my death. Where is this place?
-A forest near the Valley of Needles.
-Blast! A thousand miles off course. Well, I was rushed. There was a certain difference of opinion concerning a venison pie. The foolish man left it sitting on his windowsill. What did he expect?
-Perhaps he expected to eat it.
-I just remembered I have urgent business in this direction.
-What business?
-Once is enough, thank you.
-Your kingship ... your lord high mightiness ... when I called you a ... a ... whatever I called you, I didn't realize that you were ... were ...
-I was hoping I might be your friend.
-My <u>friend</u>.
-I have need of friends.
-Not yet, my friend. It's your tomato that's dying.
-Try your tricks on me and I'll turn myself back into a snake and bite you.
-You and I will guard the fire.
-I don't think you'll grow careless.
-Smart as well as quick. Now what do you have to give us?
-Fame.
-Fame? Thank you, no. Fame is the burial ground of contentment. Eat it and go hungry; count it and go broke; seek it and grow mad. Fame is what fools yearn for and wise men shun.
-Fame is what you leave to your sons.
-How did you know I had sons?
-Because you would not rob if you had no children to provide for.
-Hah! You don't know me, boy.
-They stand at the edge of the grave and make jokes. Do you know who I am, sprout? I am Torquil, Lord of the forest. My men follow no man but me, and I follow no man at all.
-You will follow me.
-And in the few seconds before I dice you to crow-food, tell me why I am going to follow you.
-And where do you lead, boy?
-To the place where Death lives.
-It should be an interesting journey, then.
-That I promise you.
-When did you last sleep, boy?
-They burn many villages. Even walled cities fall to them.
-I'm not hungry.
-Not sleepy, either?
-Forgive me. It's childish to cry.
-Well, I'm not impressed.
-You've eaten nothing.
-We must try to get horses.
-Yes. It will double our range. I know at least a dozen ways to get horses. All cheap.
-These we'll pay for.
-Lad, you have an unnatural desire to pay for things. It stunts the mind and shrivels the imagination.
-Hand over your dinner.
-Forgive me, my friends. I saw terrible things.
-Go, join them.
-What kind of friend do you think I am?
-The best. But my unhappiness is not made lighter by adding your's to it.
-Well, it is true that if I received a royal command I couldn't very well disobey it, could I?
-Go. I command you.
-We could reach it on fire-mares.
-We must cover a hundred leagues before sunrise.
-You're resourceful, my lad. I tell you, one year under my tutelage and I could make you the Prince of Thieves.
-Subject to the King, no doubt.
-A good thrust, my friend. Another second and there'd have been nothing between my head and shoulders but bad memories.
-I intend to keep you alive, your majesty. So you can abdicate your throne and become my Warlord.
-Make for the wall. I'll catch up.
-Colwyn, don't be a fool. You can't do battle with that thing.
-Nothing worse than lower-class boors with upper-class morals.
-Would you settle for a boar?
-You!
-Me. May I eat with you tonight?
-Tonight and every night, my friend, for this is the second time you've saved my life. I am Ergo the Magnificent, short in stature, tall in power, etcetera, etcetera.
-What is that awful looking place?
-The Swamp of Betrayal. Be glad we don't have to cross it.
-Where are you going?
-We'll meet you at the inn.
-Can't I come, too?
-A venison pie as big as a house.
-A small house.
-Quell?
-My heart stays here.
-Bread is for peasants, and wine makes me sneeze. Got any gumdrops?
-No.
-Sugarballs?
-No.
-What kind of a boy are you? Boys always have candy.
-I have a cinnamon bar.
-You do?
-I am Ergo the Magnificent ... ... short in stature ... ... tall in power ... ... narrow of purpose ... ... wide of vision.
-I'm hungry.
-If I could wish ... ... for anything, I'd wish for a venison pie the size of a ... ... mountain. No, that's too greedy. I'd settle for one the size of a house.
-I'd wish for a puppy.
-One puppy? Why not wish for a hundred?
-I only want one.
-Sir Ergo? ... My honorable Lord Ergo? ...
-What? Now you poke me in the nose as well?
-I don't think it's working.
-Not working? This nose? This nose works day and night. This nose has never loafed an hour in its life. This nose ... What? Impossible. This nose asleep while venison fills the air? Where is it, boy? Tell me where it is and I forgive you everything.
-We meant only to please you.
-Oh, she was so beautiful - and I was so <u>ugly</u>.
-Would you desert your friends?
-But also very young. Six to one is no odds, boy.
-Put me down, you lout!
-You had better manners as a pig.
-What are you doing with my dear? Stop! Thieves!
-Many villagers are hiding in the forest. They need food.
-And do you think I live on air?
-We have plenty of hares.
-Food for crows.
-Surely a sorcerer of the sauce pan can make rabbit taste like venison.
-I am being exploited! Where are you going?
-Oh, my poor stew!
-Passable, pimple, very passable.
-The greatest boon of your otherwise worthless life, blockhead, is the privilege of dining on boar roasted by the hand of Ergo the Magnificent.
-I can't hold the weight of both of you!
-Look at its beauty. Look at its grace.
-Look at its insides.
-My spells always go wrong when I am observed. Be gone!
-The forest is not safe these days. You'd best travel with us.
-One with red eyes, the other with one eye, both trying to kill me.
-The one with red eyes was a Dark One, the other was a Cyclops, and it was not you he meant to kill.
-He was aiming a huge spear right at me!
-He didn't join them. They joined him.
-And who is <u>he</u> that they should join <u>him</u>?
-He is the King.
-They'll trample him to death!
-I do not want your power. It is hideous.
-I do not want your worlds or your slaves.
-It's a lie!
-These walls do not lie! He will betray you.
-He will not!
-He will come for me.
-What news from our friends?
-Barak is still strong in the north, and Tendo holds the high passes. But the great desert forts have fallen.
-Freylag's stronghold?
-It has been taken, Freylag and all his people slaughtered.
-It is only a few weeks and already half our strong places have fallen.
-The attacks are unceasing: by night, the Dark Ones; by day, those of our people who have sold themselves to them, those traitors who are called the Slayers.
-It is the way of all invaders. Those they would conquer they divide, buying allies with promises of land and power.
-Lord Rowan is one of Lyssa's godfathers. He will defend her in the ceremony. I wish that Lord Modred were here. He is a godfather of her own blood.
-For some, the lure of power is stronger than the ties of blood. No matter. I had hoped to have the wedding next spring, Lord Turold, with all the nobles of the kingdom in attendance. But Fate and this war have ordained otherwise.
-It is important to assure the succession.
-I will tell you something you did not know, Turold. Had it been my choice, all those years ago, I would have chosen you for my king. But my parents chose otherwise.
-I knew.
-You knew! You are a rude bumpkin!
-A girl of some spirit, your daughter.
-A match for your son, I think.
-A fine match.
-You were attacked in the forest?
-Yes. We lost five.
-I tried to reach Ynyr, the old one. I led a hundred men to his place in Granite Needle, but it was surrounded. The Dark Ones guard it by night and by day they call out the Slayers. Ynyr cannot get out and no one can get in.
-How many did you lose?
-Sixty at the needle, another thirty in the forest. Only ten of us made it back.
-Modred! Impossible!
-We seek the Fortress of Krull.
-Such a vision will be opposed. Who seeks it?
-The new King.
-With an old voice?
-You know the voice.
-Yes. You have left your place in the Needle. It is the time, then.
-It is the time.
-Can you see?
-The Dark Ones will appose you with all their power.
-Knowledge I wouldn't want.
-We'll seek an Emerald Seer. They have great powers of vision.
-We can save half a day by crossing the Stone Lake.
-Many have perished in that maze.
-The leader of the Dark Ones?
-I must go to the widow. Perhaps she will help.
-The Widow of the Web?
-Yes.
-That creature helps no one. And none who go there return.
-She has the power of vision.
-She has the power to kill.
-Perhaps she will not kill me, for I know her name.
-Her name is Death.
-Few have survived it.
-Each to his fate, lad.
-We must reach the Valley of Reeds before the next dawn.
-I'll stay behind and keep them busy.
-Look.
-Kegan!
-Go now. Quell was wise. He knew that a man cannot ask more of his death than it help his friends.
-Who speaks that name!
-It is fifty years since I heard that name.
-It is fifty years since I spoke it to you.
-I was beautiful then.
-The most beautiful woman in the world.
-But you would not stay with me.
-Could not. Could not betray the girl to whom I was betrothed.
-She was not as beautiful.
-No, she was not as beautiful.
-She bore you many children?
-We had no children.
-You had a son.
-You said nothing. You told me nothing.
-You had left me! I kept silent out of rage.
-Where is he? My son.
-Do not try your trickery on me!
-It is no trickery.
-You see?
-Memory is no trick, it is a power. The power to see.
-Power you have given me. What can my power give you?
-Knowledge.
-Of what?
-The Fortress of Krull. When will it come near here?
-Why must you know?
-There is a girl there. Her name is Lyssa.
-You lie!
-Could I lie to you and still see your beauty?
-No.
-A young man seeks her. A young man about the age I was when I met you.
-It will not help.
-I cannot stop the sand.
-You cannot stop time. Go now, before it runs out.
-You will come with me.
-What's that man's name?
-Why do you want to know?
-He forgot his money... My mother's got a pub, behind the corner, and he forgot his money, about 100$.
-Give me his name, I will mail him.
-OK. Mister Stansfield, Norman STANSFIELD.
-...Office 2702.
-Yeah... How do you know it?
-Yeah, pal! And I didn't say anything, I said I don't know you. But do you know what did she say, that stupid Raphaella?
-No?
-She told them you wanted her things and that she wasn't surprised police looked for you! Can you believe it?!
-Asshole. But she won't miss anything, that. You'll see.
-Good, what are you going to do? Do you come back?
-YEAH! I was sure! Come on, tell me! I know him?
-No.
-I can't believe it! "Yes I think"... How she kids me! I can't believe it! And did he pass your threshold or not?
-...What?
-Well... Did you sleep with him or not?
-No... Not yet. He's very shy... and very sensitive.
-...Good... But what's special in him?
-...You moved too, didn't you?
-Yeah.
-Huh!? Because of the slaughter at your same floor?
-...Not at all.
-It's better... You see, it's my turf, so I don't want contracts I'm not informed about, on my turf. I'm not opposing, but the least they can do is informing me, isn't it?
-At a certain moment I thought: maybe Leon would like working on his own? So he makes some little extras?
-Dirty work, and I kill no women and no kids.
-Tell me... The money I earn and you keep for me...
-Do you need money?
-No, no.
-Pay attention to women, Leon. They are dangerous, you know?
-Yeah... Well... I don't know.. I don't know any.
-Why can't I have a bank account?
-Take...
-Well, I don't need them...
-OK, I'm fine.
-Here, this is the light scoop for night shooting. There, you fix client's distance... How much to the bench down there in the park?
-Huh... 500 meters?
-130... 140...
-How can you say it?
-Look. When you can see his fingers, it's 50 meters. When you just see his hands, it's about 80 meters. When you distinguish arms from body, it's 120-130. When you see nothing more than a shape, you don't shoot. Not very sure. You have one chance out of five to miss. A contract means getting all chances on your side. 5 out of 5.
-What, for example?
-Well, if the guy is far, in a car, and I know weather is going to be bad, rain for example, I think I would plastic the car, with a remote here. I shoot from the distance and if I miss I plastic.
-Rocket launcher.
-Wow! It's brilliant!
-Who'll I aim at?
-The fat man down there, on the bench.
-Good! First shot!
-Yeah, but I didn't get him, I got his case and now he's behind the tree. What can I do?
-It's not serious, it's just training. You have to learn from the beginning to hit the target, then, to improve precision, you'll train, but on cardboards.
-OK.
-The yellow and pink.
-What's up? I don't feel you're concentrated.
-It's incredible! How did you do it?
-What?
-Five minutes. Keep in front of the window.
-Come on, get down!
-You were scared, weren't you?
-I was nervous, that's all! Where is the guy?
-It's strange, being in love... It's the first time for me...
-How do you know it's love, if you've never been in love before?... It may be friendship... or the love you can have with a brother or a father... How can you know?
-Mathilda? May I come in?
-Why don't you take me with you?... I'm ready, now. You said I learn very quickly.
-May I go to the cinema?
-No.
-For musicals? That's part of the job!
-You see, five minutes ago you said you loved me and now you hate me... but I prefer this!
-...You can leave whenever you want. I don't refrain you.
-Not taken.
-Why?
-Well... Then may you rent me your gear for the day?
-If you knew, Leon...! I killed one thousand in my head... And this never disturbed my sleep.
-It's true... But a first contract, it's an exception.
-...I'm going to kiss you.
-Stop. Everyone is looking.
-...You don't believe me, don't you?
-What?
-When I say I love you.
-Mathilda, don't resume, please. ....Change subject, OK?
-...OK. I love you anyway.
-Mathilda?!
-OK, OK! Excuse me! How old were you when you had your first contract?
-...Shit!! We'd found him. We waited for him to get upstairs and he got out of the window.
-What shall we do?
-Where are you going?
-Piddle. She smiles and looks for the bathroom. She finds it and is going to go in when she sees the head of a man in the bath, walkman on. She withholds a shout and gets against the wall, without moving. She doesn't dare passing before the open door again to join Leon. In the living room, Leon still thinks.
-It's cool departing this way... warm... music...
-There are better things. You see the importance of the "moment". Ten minutes early or late, he'd have seen death. He'd have suffered it. This way, he already departed. Without knowing.
-...I'd like knowing what he's listening to...
-Mathilda, hadn't you told that bullshit to the receptionist, we'd still be in the hotel, I make you notice.
-That wasn't bullshit, I said we love each other.
-...I prefer apartments... Furthermore, there are always kids in a building. What about getting some friends?
-Friends? You're crazy! In my building, before, they just cared drugs all day and you couldn't get one, or they just cared video games and you couldn't get one, no more.
-You're darkening the picture, aren't you?
-A little...
-Is there a normal 13 or 14 year old boy?
-It's too big.
-Risky business, isn't it?
-...You're young, Mathilda... You still have a chance to get out. You can't give up this chance. You have to protect it. There's a lot of things to do in life, a lot of other jobs...
-Mathilda... There's equally a lot of other things!
-No, excuse me... It's the yogurt that made me laugh.
-You've just to love me and I'll be the happiest woman around.
-Yeah, I know! But for the moment you're not yet a woman. So, be patient... I need time... And you too. You have to grow up.
-I'm here, I'll never leave you again, Mathilda, never. I swear.
-I love you so much, Leon.
-Poor darling, and then?
-Well... I don't know, suddenly, the make up... All this... How are you? Are you OK?
-...Don't you drink?
-...No...
-How many girlfriends did you have?
-...I don't know.
-Well... 1... 2... 10... 100... 1000? How many, approximately?
-...Mathilda, I don't feel like talking about this.
-Why? Did you have too many and you fear it may shock me? I won't get shocked. I'm used to this! My father was a true pig. He fucked the bitch I'd as mother all around the apartment. Whenever a door was closed, you could be sure they were making sex behind it! And my sister, if you didn't sleep with her, you're building's
-...I had a girlfriend... A long time ago. Before coming here, in my country. I was 14-year-old... We flirted like kids... Her father didn't want her to meet me. My family was not very respectable.
-...That's awful. I hope you killed, that asshole?
-You... You knock the code, when you come back, OK?
-Yes.
-May I ask you a personal question?
-...Yes.
-What do you do, with the money you earn?
-Nothing, for the moment.
-Maybe it's the time to do something, isn't it?
-Yeah, what?
-Why did you unleash the pipe, I don't know?
-It will take them five minutes! How long ago did they arrive?
-I don't know... Five minutes.
-How shall we get out now, Leon?
-No! I don't want to leave you!!
-Mathilda, listen!
-You say it just to calm me!
-Yes?
-Good morning, Mister... It's Danielle!
-Huh! You made an error, baby. I don't know any Danielle.
-...I got lost, Mister.
-Huh? Move back, baby, I can't see anything.
-...Yes?
-Excuse me, Mister... I'm looking for Mister Rubens' apartment, but it's dark out here and I got lost...
-Don't fear.
-How are you, Miss?
-I'm sick with practicing, that's it...
-I see. You're good, because I didn't hear anything.
-Yeah. I put a rag on the strings, to lessen noise.
-Huh? That's smart!
-I'm used to it. Not everyone likes music.
-Yeah, true. But what does your father exactly do for living?
-...Composer.
-Huh, that's good!
-Yeah, but he's not exactly my father...
-Huh?
-You can't sit here like that.
-Huh? Why?
-Because you have to pay. It's like a parking meter: if you stay, you pay. It's the rule...
-...And how much is it?
-...OK... Good.
-Can I sit on the stairways now?
-Rinaldi... Rinaldi... What region do you come from?
-Messina.
-But... He works for your same employer?
-Yeah, but I don't give a shit about. I trade at left, at right and that's dangerous in there...
-It's a little out of the world coming to visit me this way, on mid afternoon. It really isn't the usual procedure...
-...Who sent you?
-Is he still alive?
-Yeah... And still in Messina. He's my uncle.
-Huh? Are you Alfredo's son, then?
-Have you ever been in Messina, son?
-Yes... Twice.
-Did you fish in Messina? The "pesce spada"?
-No...
-I think I will get back in Messina this summer... It's too long I haven't been there.
-You're right, son. You must care the links with your family, always. It's the only important thing in the world.
-Salute.
-You'd better talk good, son, because, for the moment, I've got a quite bad opinion about you. Norman smiles.
-I respect your business, Mister Tony. Every time we asked your help, we were very happy with the result. It's right this that makes me nervous, now. I hope you'll excuse my temporary bad mood?
-Do you recognize him?
-Listen, son, you know as well as me this kind of hitmen: they come from nowhere, get the contract and disappear. They're lonely, worse than wolves.
-May we have this wolf's name and address?
-He probably just went somewhere.
-Where?
-What is it?
-This smells good.
-Why am I such an authority?
-Here comes the resume.
-Uncle Maurice, you're wearing sneakers?
-And your store? What about your new store? What about all your dreams?
-I have new dreams now.
-I don't accept that.
-Maybe one day -- after you've been married twenty years you'll understand.
-Uncle Maurice -- I spent all our frequent flyer miles on a one way ticket here... I have a rented car outside, just listen to me. Come back with me now, and if you still want to do something like this in a year -- maybe we'll plan a car trip across the country -- Gerald and I will come along --
-I have to walk -- by myself -- all the way -- every inch.
-It's impossible.
-It's what she asked for... It's what I'm going to do.
-She was being symbolic. What if she asked you to fly to the moon?
-What if you don't make it?
-I'll make it.
-If you really want to do this... plan it out. Rest up. Train for it. Build up your body. Plan every stop along the way. How much money? Time? Really do it properly. This is all so -- by the seat of your pants.
-No it's not.
-I've all ready gone six hundred miles... I can't do it again.
-Nothing's going to happen.
-Are you two planning kids?
-Maybe later.
-I don't think you realize how serious this is Uncle.
-Then it'll have to wait until I finish.
-What?
-Listen to me very carefully, because I don't want you to misunderstand me... The walk is over Uncle Maurice. Done. Finished. You've made it to California, it was a miracle, now let's try to save your life.
-I have to finish first.
-What would you like us to do?
-Put out a P.B.S.... Or whatever it's called.
-A.P.B.... He isn't breaking any law. He's a grown man... He can crawl on his hands and knees to China if that's what he wants to do.
-Sergeant, I'm a psychologist and I know the difference between normal whims people have and actions that clearly display psychological problems... My uncle lost his wife and it devastated him.
-We're very sorry about that. Some of our men were on the scene of the accident.
-I think my uncle is suffering from a condition called Mania which is linked with depression. It is a time when an individual will act over-confident, and will act out impractical, grandiose plans. Sometimes these plans can be dangerous.
-How long does this... Mania last?
-Look, I'll see if anyone has spotted him recently. If I get any information, I'll call you.
-Thank you.
-Mine.
-Are you a preacher?
-This is Indiana -- nothing's going to happen to you.
-A wife?... Did someone piss drunk run into your wife? Crushed her like a bug. Snapped her bones?
-Oh the preacher's getting angry again... Tell me something. Did she die instantly or did she feel every torn muscle and shattered bone? Were you there to help her? Or were you safe at home when the windshield sliced into her face --
-The normal amount of build up in your arteries has been aggravated by over exertion. This is called, "Claudication," As a result, there isn't enough circulation to your body. That accounts for the discoloration in your extremities and the muscle spasms I'm sure you've encountered.
-Can it kill me?
-What steps do we take now?
-We operate. We find the artery in the brain and close the bleeding... I just did this procedure on a Senator and he's doing fine.
-What are the odds? Do I have a fifty-fifty chance of surviving the operation?
-So what's the deal Maurice?
-Pardon?
-I mean why the sudden voluntary visit -- usually it takes gun- point to get you in here...
-Routine, I assure you. I just wanted to gage my health. Am I healthy?
-Yes -- you are.
-I know what you're getting at.
-You do?
-I've seen it before.
-You have?
-You're feeling old and you want to start exercising. A lot of men your age feel the need to recapture their youth. Don't feel embarrassed about it.
-Okay.
-You should start slow and easy -- fifteen minutes a day.
-Just for curiosity sake that's all?
-I don't know -- maybe twenty miles... Of course I'm not recommending that... if someone like you had to I mean... that's how far they'd probably get before encountering serious physical walls.
-Yes?
-You thought I sent them?
-Have I forgotten something? Is this a special day?
-It's a special day isn't it?
-Ellen?
-What?
-The new store?
-Honey, I told you. If it makes you happy, we should just do it.
-It's a tremendous amount of work -- moving.
-... Love is shown through actions not just words.
-What's that? That's not a fortune... You will be rich... That's a fortune. What you have is a statement.
-What it is -- is the truth.
-Is this going to be similar to the flower incident?
-Sometimes people need to see things done for them -- because sooner or later they don't believe the words anymore.
-I want to be shown... Maurice would you do anything for me?
-Yes.
-Anything?
-What do you want from me? Would I swim across an ocean for you?... Would I walk across the United States for you? Yes... Yes I would. You know that.
-Why do you polish that thing all the time?
-You're talking to me?
-A Book Society Award is a very prestigious thing.
-Why are you polishing it -- in bed -- in your pajamas -- at 11:15 at night? Are you going to show it to someone?
-No.
-Then why?
-There's no reason.
-I do love you... very, very much.
-Show me.
-Walk with me?
-You like to take walks?
-It's one of those thoughts you keep to yourself.
-I thought we both wanted the same things.
-I've changed my mind.
-I want children.
-You've just decided, is that right?
-Ellen, there are two kinds of people in the world --
-Please not, 'The two kinds of people' speech.
-... People that were made to be parents, and people who were not made to be parents... My parents, were people who were not made to be parents but had kids anyway. I don't want us to be that way Ellen.
-You can change.
-Face it Ellen, I'm not the type of person who reads bedtime stories. But you love me anyway.
-It must've hit the window... I think its neck is broken.
-It isn't going to make it Ellen. Let the poor thing go quietly.
-Your father?
-He's plastered.
-That's okay -- really it is.
-I don't know.
-I think it's a different place for each person.
-I know where my heaven is.
-Where?
-Why there?
-Maurice?
-Yes.
-If I die, you'll know where to look for me?
-Go to sleep Ellen.
-The beach of Pacifica, California.
-What did they ask?
-If I had seen you. By the way I'm sorry about your wife. They told me.
-Thank you... I'm sorry you had to lie. It must have been difficult.
-To where?
-Pacifica, California.
-From where?
-Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
-Why?
-Do you believe a person's soul lives on after their death?
-Most certainly.
-And that that soul takes part of the person they were on this earth with them.
-That's a reasonable assumption.
-I don't want my wife's soul having any doubts.
-Doubts? About what?
-You don't have to prove anything to her.
-What's his story?
-His name is Maurice. He's dancing around everything else.
-Red flag, man.
-Red flags man.
-Not our problem.
-Why so vague? Why so evasive? He could be somebody hot.
-Not our problem.
-It's going to look beautiful when he turns out to be that animal who paid a visit to the Steadman's house.
-This guy's not a murderer.
-A marriage certificate? Who the hell carries their marriage certificate around?
-Hansen's whipped. Has to call his wife every two hours or she'll go ballistic when he gets home.
-I'm going to drop off Tandy at the station and then drop you back.
-Shit! He jumped!
-Jumped where?
-Well, hello.
-I'm Isaac... I'm three.
-You know what, I can play baseball with my brothers when I'm bigger.
-Is that right?
-You know what... I'm just little now, but I'll be big soon.
-You'll probably be bigger than your brothers.
-I thought you were asleep.
-Your parents would want you to be in bed.
-You tell stories?
-There was a boy named Isaac who wanted to play baseball, but he was too small and no one would let him play... but he kept practicing by himself -- waiting... He went to every game and sat in the stands with his glove.
-You know what... maybe I ran onto the field and hit a home run.
-Anyway, Big Billy needed another player so he yelled into the stands. 'Who can play baseball?' And there was a little voice that yelled out, 'Me, I can play.' Everyone turned to see a little boy standing with a glove.
-That's me.
-Right. But everyone saw how small Isaac was and laughed... but not Big Billy. He stared at Isaac carefully and then told him to join the game. It came to the end of the game. It was the eleventh or twelfth inning or whatever is the last inning of a game...
-Nine.
-Okay nine. Big Billy's team was losing and he was on base. That's when Isaac came up. He could barely hold the bat... Big Billy winked at Isaac... The ball was pitched -- Isaac hit the ball hard. It soared up and out over the stadium. Everyone cheered. Isaac hit a home run and won the game. After the game, Isaac asked Big Billy
-Each inch represents 150 miles...
-Making the grand total?
-Three thousand miles?... How many times does twenty go into three thousand?
-What was that?
-Perhaps there's another route?
-Don't worry baby, it shouldn't take you more than five days if you just stop to sleep and eat.
-This story is big huh?
-Mammoth.
-What are you saying? This story is too big for this paper?
-Umm, no. It's just that --
-Michelle, breathe... that's it, what is it, talk to me.
-Umm, he's going to make it isn't he?
-Lizy, Eliza... Elizabeth Bennett... Pride and Prejudice.
-You're amazing.
-It has to be a full character's name.
-They called her 'Lizy' in the book... Sorry I was late. My jeep died on the way over from the paper.
-They printed your article on, 'Dry Verses Can Dog Food'... Very enlightening.
-What happened?
-I want to reach people. Nobody listens to me. This is my way to reach them.
-To reach people, you have to feel something first... You write about the wrong things. How can you feel for dog food? The people at the Gazette don't respect it, and neither do you.
-This is a ghost town. Nothing ever happens.
-Are you firing me?
-You going on a trip Mr. Parker?
-Yes.
-Where?
-When are you leaving?
-I'm walking there Kris.
-Walking where?
-The hairs on my arm are standing up... Something strange is happening.
-Phileas Fogg?
-... Round The World In Eighty Days. ... Hello Kris.
-You're amazing... What are you doing Mr. Parker?
-You're walking to California?
-Pacifica, California -- it's a coastal city.
-Ellen told me that she didn't know if I loved her.
-She knew you loved her.
-I'm really lost. What does this have to do with walking?
-I need to show her how much I love her Kris.
-Why know?
-Pacifica, California... that's a long ways away.
-Ellen got up every morning and went to the corner store to get me my bread for breakfast... Everyday. Now that's about a quarter mile each way... 17 years... that comes to about three thousand miles... And you know what Kris?
-What Mr. Parker?
-Tom Joad?
-... The Grapes of Wrath.
-I missed you Kris.
-I missed you to Mr. Parker.
-Adelle told me, your writing is going well. The Crusader for social issues and all.
-I haven't been too punctual with the rent.
-Are they standing?
-Come on Mr. Parker.
-What, come on?
-We do the operation after I finish. I can't risk not finishing... I thought you understood what I was doing.
-I do.
-Why in God's name did you fly all the way here then?
-Don't do this.
-Mr. Parker, you can yell at me, if it'll help. But I'm not risking your life.
-She knows you love her Mr. Parker. She knows now.
-There are a lot of people worried about you.
-Where am I?
-In a hospital.
-What do your friends call you?
-Steph.
-You're in pain.
-I need your help.
-They told me, you might try to talk me into something... You need to rest Mr. Parker... It's for your own good. I've been following your story for a long while. It's a beautiful thing you did.
-You ever lose somebody Stephanie?
-... My father.
-You're going to have a lot of work to do when I get back.
-Good morning.
-Is it a boy or a girl?
-I don't have kids.
-You look so happy -- how long have you been married?
-Where did he go?
-May I ask you a question that might sound strange?
-Hello, Mr. Parker.
-Hello.
-How are you feeling?
-Confused. I'm not sure what to do now. I'm not sure what he wants for me.
-He wants to reward you... That's why I'm here.
-What do you mean?
-What's your shoe size?
-If that ain't fate?... Hi, I'm Dave Caldwell. I do the copy for the anchor on the evening news down here.
-Evening News?
-I've always wanted a watch like that.
-It's yours.
-I really want that watch.
-This isn't right.
-There's a one-drink minimum per show, I hope you saw the sign when you came in. Anyway, they're supposed to tell you.
-Yes, I heard, and it's not a problem.
-What do you want?
-What are my choices?
-Everything's ten dollars, and there's no alcohol.
-No alcohol?
-No alcohol. You gotta get something else. Everything's ten dollars. What do you want?
-What do you think I should get?
-Non-alcoholic malt beverage?
-...Noooo.
-Orange soda?
-No.
-Coffee?
-No.
-Sparkling apple cider?
-No.
-Water?
-Water?
-One drink minimum per show. Everything's ten dollars. Now... tell me what you want or I'll eighty- six you.
-Hello!
-Hello.
-Are you working?
-Isn't it illegal to drink and drive?
-That is, if you'll come to my room for an hour, I will give you five hundred dollars.
-You're pretty drunk.
-Sarah -- with an H?
-I'm sort of curious... if you're willing to pay me two-fifty... not that I mind... I mean, I'm OK with that -- why aren't you staying in a hotel?
-We can go to one if you'd prefer.
-Umm. We can stay in the car for an hour if you want. But I really have to go then. It's your time.
-Right, I'll get your door. I tend to fade in and out lately.
-I guess I do too.
-You what?
-I sometimes fade out.
-Oh... well, maybe we better synchronize our spells... or stagger them.
-Mind if I use the bathroom?
-Want a drink? I'm having one.
-A shot of tequila, if you can spare it.
-Do you want to fuck now?
-Maybe another drink first. More tequila?
-What's the story? Are you too drunk to come?
-No, I came here to drink... myself... you know...
-To death?
-I cashed in all of my money, paid my AmEx card, gonna sell the car tomorrow.
-How long's it gonna take, for you to drink yourself to death?
-I think about four weeks, and I've got enough for about two hundred and fifty to three hundred dollars a day.
-Yes... that should do it. What am I? A luxury?
-If I was I'm sorry.
-No, just drunk... but that's OK. Where's your car?
-Don't run away.
-What's up?
-...or a girlfriend, but if you have some free time... maybe we could have dinner.
-Are you serious.
-I think you know I'm serious. I'll pay you if you like... but I'd like to see you.
-Yes.
-We should pick up a bottle of tequila on the way. I owe you one.
-This is the home of an angel.
-You OK out there?
-You OK?
-Of course. Wow... you look extremely beautiful.
-Thank you. What time is it?
-I'm rambling. I really like you. You make me want to talk... I don't know what time it is.
-I like hearing you talk. If you feel up to a short walk, there's a place to eat around the corner. All the food in Vegas is terrible so the place doesn't really matter. How does that sound to you?
-I'm from the East. I went to college, did an arts course. I now live in Vegas. I think of it as home. I came here deliberately to carve out a life. I was in LA before, but I'll come back to that later. The tough times are behind me now. I can deal with the bad things that happen. There will always be
-Is that really what you want to ask me?
-Yes.
-Well, then I guess this is our first date... or our last. Until now, I wasn't sure it was either.
-First. It's our first. I'm just concerned. So... why are you killing yourself?
-Interesting choice of words. I don't remember. I just know that I want to.
-It wasn't so important to me. I mean, he never asked me why I was a hooker, and that was impressive. I really liked him. So I decided to just play my part. I mean... it's good to help someone once in a while, it's a bonus to being alive, and that was my plan... to stay alive. I suddenly came to a decision.
-What are you thinking? Are you angry with me?
-Ben, why don't you stay at my place tonight? I mean... look, you're so drunk. I like you. I trust you.
-That's astonishing. Sera, look...
-Let's face it, what the fuck are you doing in Las Vegas?
-I'm going to move to a smart hotel, tomorrow if it'll make you feel better. Let's talk about tomorrow. Wanna do something?
-Sure... tonight. Then please stay at my place.
-Sera... you know I'm not much good in the sack.
-How long have I been here?
-Three nights, two days. When is your rent coming up at the motel?
-I don't know. I'll go and sort it out today. Why don't you come?... We'll find a real room for me. You can pick it out, a tower on the strip.
-There's no reason to blow all your money on a hotel room.
-What do you mean?
-What I mean is that you should bring your stuff over here. We're spending all this time together... what the fuck!
-Sera...
-Let's face it, Ben, we're having fun here. I've never done so much talking in my life.
-Me neither.
-So! Let's dispense with the formalities. I want you here... now!
-Sera you are crazy.
-So... I'm not too concerned with long term plans.
-Don't you think you'll get a little bored living with a drunk?
-That is what I want. Why don't you go and get your stuff?
-Don't you like me, Ben?
-Sera... what you don't understand is...
-You can never... never... ask me to stop drinking. Do you understand?
-Hi!
-Why don't you go in and sit down. I have some gifts for you.
-Want a drink? Great nap. Wanna go out tonight?
-Seriously, Ben... I need to keep pretty low-key around here. Maybe next time you could nap this side of the door. That was the landlord.
-Ben?
-Sera, I love that name... S.E.R.A. Before we proceed onwards, there is something I need to say. OK?
-OK.
-Why?
-Because... it's better for me that way. OK?
-Sera... I hope that you understand how I feel about this. First of all, you're welcome to my money. We can buy a couple of cases of liquor and you can have the rest. But I don't think you're talking to me right now about money.
-No?
-No. I think you're talking about you. I'll tell you right now that I'm in love with you... but, be that as it may, I'm not here to force my twisted life into your soul.
-I know that...
-...and I'm not here to demand your attention to the point where it changes your life. We know I'm a drunk... but that seems to be all right with you. And I know that you're a hooker. I hope you understand that I'm a person who is totally at ease with this... which is not to say that I'm indifferent or that I don't
-Thanks, I do understand. I was worried about how that would be... but now I'm not. And you should know that included with the rent here is a complimentary blow job.
-Ah, yes... I suppose sooner or later we ought to fuck.
-Right... the suitcase was clinking. So what did you do with your clothes?
-I threw them into the garbage, which was perhaps immoral, but I wanted to come to you clean, so to speak. I thought we could go shopping and pick up a pair of jeans and forty- five pairs of underwear and just throw them out each day.
-I'm going to fill it right now.
-Giving you money makes me want to come.
-I am planning to go out and do some work.
-When?
-I like women who wear mismatched earrings.
-Well, then... I hope we don't run into any tonight.
-What do you mean?
-How are you doing?
-Very well... umm... I never expected to have to ask you this again... but how did our evening go? I remember getting to the casino... I remember kissing you... that was really nice but everything after that is a blank.
-Well -- I was prepared for worse, but it wasn't so bad. We were sitting at the bar, talking about blackjack. You seemed just fine, a little drunker than usual, but nothing really strange, but then your head started to droop and I put my arm on your shoulder and then, wham, you swung you arm at me, and fell backwards off your stool
-Oh, and what did you do?
-I tried to shut you up and help you to your feet but you kept swinging at me -- not like you wanted to hit me, but more just waving me away. Security came and when you saw them you stopped yelling. They wanted to carry you out and dump you on the street, but I talked them into letting me walk you out.
-That's impressive. How did you do that?
-I told them you were an alcoholic and I would take you home. I also promised that we would never come in there again.
-You were OK for a while, so we walked for about a block and then you said you wanted to go home and fuck, but I think even you knew that wasn't going to happen. We got a cab and you asked him to stop at a liquor store, even though I told you that we had plenty at home. In the store you
-I warned you... ...but I'm sorry.
-Here's my speech... ...I know this shouldn't be acceptable to me, but it is. Don't ask me why. I sense that your trouble is very big... and I'm scared for you... and so I'm doing what I think you need me to do. Falling down in casinos is little stuff. It doesn't bother me. It has nothing to do with us.
-Why don't you go back to sleep. I'll go out and buy us some breakfast.
-Very creative. Now we can get you a black bow tie and you can look like one of those casino dealers.
-Your color.
-What was that all about?
-Can we just forget it?
-I don't understand any of that.
-Please!
-Yes... I'll give you that.
-Thank you, Sera.
-Do you want me not to go tonight?
-Maybe I should follow you around and ask one of your tricks what it's like to sleep with you.
-I'll be back home around three. If you're back by then we can watch TV or something... I guess what I'm saying is... that I hope you are back when I get home. Please be careful.
-You be careful to. I'm going to miss you.
-Shall we go away for a couple of days?
-Years ago, in LA, I turned a trick on Sunset and Western. The guy was polite and didn't argue about the price. He parked his car and I took him to a house that I had an arrangement with. A fat Mexican woman was watching a TV and I told him to give her the twenty for the room. There were three or four
-Last spring I happened to walk past a house that I had once patronized. There was a cool breeze blowing off the ocean and through the window I could see a bare leg. The girl must have been taking a break between customers. It was a strange moment for me because it reminded me of my mother and despite the fact that I was
-Where was that house? The one in LA, I mean.
-Fifth and Mayflower. You know it?
-I like it here with you.
-Let's stay for a while.
-I've missed the best sun. Why did you have to pawn your watch?
-Maybe it's time I moved to a hotel.
-And do what... rot away in a room? We're not going to talk about that. Fuck you! I will not talk about that. You're staying here. You are not moving to a hotel.
-Will you lighten up, please?
-There are limits.
-I wanted to see you...
-You know I love you... yeah?
-Hey, Brad... how's it going?
-Hey Ben. There were a couple of guys looking for you.
-What did they look like?
-How'd this happen?
-I was going real fast down on the beach and something slipped and everything got jammed up.
-The news is not good, kid. This bit here... see there... it's broken. You need a new one.
-How much, do you think?
-About ready for another drink?
-Yes, that would be great. Are you her for the convention?
-So... are you alone, or are you just using me to make someone else jealous?
-Alone. Alone. I'm here alone.
-Where are you staying?
-Right here at the hotel. Why?
-Well... I thought you might be looking for a date.
-A date. What, are you a hooker? What do you mean a date? I've got a wife back home. I just came over to talk for a few minutes.
-Please don't raise your voice. I won't bother you about it again.
-I don't want this. Yuri, please. I really don't want this. You know I don't like to do groups.
-I want this, Sera. I need this!
-You have been lonely?
-I've been all right.
-You have been lonely?
-I'm pleased with you, Sera... how you have moved up in the world. I showed you a glamorous world when I took you off the streets... and how you repay me.
-Where have you been staying?
-It is, after all, Sera, my money.
-Yes, of course. How much do you need?
-Where have you been?
-A full night on the street and this is all?
-Don't hit me.
-Yes? What?
-Have you told anyone that I'm here?
-Go, Sera. Go. Stay at home. I will call you tomorrow.
-Yuri... are you...
-Harvard Law School?
-That's right.
-But it's a top three school --
-I have a 4.0.
-Yes, but your major is Fashion Merchandising. Harvard won't be impressed that you aced "History of Lycra". What are your backups?
-Well, then. You'll need excellent recommendations from your professors, a heck of an admissions essay and at least a one-seventy-five on your LSATs.
-What alibi?
-I can't tell you.
-You understand you're on trial for murder?
-I didn't do it! I walked in, saw my husband lying on the floor, bent down to check his heart, screamed my head off and Chutney and Enrique ran inside.
-Why would I kill my husband?
-Insurance? A love affair? Pure unadulterated hatred? Believe me, the DA will come up with plenty of reasons.
-I loved him!
-Brooke, I believe you. But a jury is gonna want an alibi.
-Were you with another man?
-Go to hell.
-I'll take that as a no.
-Are we done for today?
-What're you so happy about? You're on trial for murder.
-Get up.
-What?
-You're fired. I have new representation.
-Is he always such an ass?
-He's the top defense attorney in the state. Of course he's an ass.
-But is he an ass that's gonna win my case?
-He's an ass that's gonna try.
-He thinks I'm guilty, doesn't he?
-That's not what's important.
-I'm a Delta Gamma and I'm a huge fan of yours!
-You took my class in LA. You had the best high kick I've ever seen. Are you one of my lawyers?
-Are you okay? You look so sad... and so orange.
-I'm glad it's you and not Donovan.
-Elle, I can't. You don't understand.
-It's so shameful...
-Whatever it is -- it could save you.
-That's just it -- it would ruin me!
-I have made my fortune on my ability to teach women how to perfect their bodies with the Brooke's Butt Buster workout.
-No!
-I'm not having an affair with Enrique -- you know a Delta Gamma would never sleep with a man who wears a thong! I just liked watching him bend over to clean the filter --
-What's going on?
-Enrique's gay. I'm sure of it.
-I got out of the shower, walked downstairs, saw her standing over my father, and called the police.
-Did she have a weapon in her hand?
-No.
-Was there any reason for you to believe she had discarded a weapon?
-Uh, yeah, because the bitch shot him.
-Was there any evidence that Mrs. Windham shot him?
-Okay -- Ms. Windham, when you uh arrived back at the house? Was your father there?
-Not that I saw. But like I said, I went straight upstairs to take a shower.
-And when you came downstairs, what happened?
-I saw Brooke standing over his body, drenched in his blood.
-But Mrs. Windham didn't have a gun?
-Did you hear a shot fired?
-No. I was in the shower.
-So at some point in the -- twenty minutes you were in the shower, your father was shot?
-But you didn't hear the shot, because you were in the shower.
-Miss Windham, can you tell us what you'd been doing earlier in the day?
-I got up, went to Starbucks, went to the gym, got a perm, and came home.
-Where you got in the shower.
-Yes, Your Honor. Had you ever gotten a perm before, Miss Windham?
-How many, would you say?
-Two a year since I was twelve. You do the math.
-Chutney, why is it that Tracy Marcinko's curls were ruined when she got hosed down?
-Because they got wet.
-And if you in fact, heard the gunshot, then Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which would mean that you would've had to have found Mrs. Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story sound plausible. Isn't that right?
-She's younger than I am. Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone younger than you?
-Dewey Newcomb?
-Who's askin'?
-Come again?
-Due to the fact that you retained the residence, Ms. Bonafante is entitled to full ownership of the canine property in question and we will be enforcing said ownership immediately.
-Huh?
-All I know is -- it's not Brooke.
-Did you get it?
-Why the hell not?
-What are you talking about?
-Good work today, Ms. Woods.
-Sit down.
-Is everything okay?
-You followed your intuition today and you were right on target. I should've listened.
-Thank you.
-I'm sorry, but --
-I think it's time discuss your career path. Have you thought about where you might be a summer associate?
-You're hitting on me?
-You're a beautiful girl, Elle.
-So everything you just said --
-You're not going up there.
-I do. I'm not allowing it.
-What did you see when you entered the house?
-I saw Mrs. Windham standing over the body of Mr. Windham.
-Was she carrying a weapon?
-So she was distraught that her husband was dead?
-Mr. Salvatore, do you have any proof that you and Mrs. Windham were having an affair?
-What's going on?
-Donovan's firm is defending a major murder case and his caseload is so heavy he's taking on first year interns.
-Why didn't you call me?
-What?
-We spend a beautiful night together and then I never hear from you again?
-I'm sorry?
-For what? Breaking my heart or ruining sex for me with any other man?
-Uh -- both?
-Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Rule 3:03.
-Yes?
-Yes?
-Would you be willing to stake your life on it?
-I think so...
--- his life?
-I don't know.
-You can't even imagine.
-After you went to all that trouble?
-Well, what am I supposed to do? He's engaged! She's got the family six- carat on her bony, unpolished finger.
-You're asking the wrong girl. I'm with my guy eight years and then one day it's "I met someone else. Move out."
-What'd you do?
-I didn't even get to go to his birthday party.
-No!
-What could I do? He's a man who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle- aged high-school dropout with stretch marks and a fat ass. Happens every day. At least to women like me.
-That's terrible!
-So, what's this Sarah got that you don't? Three tits?
-She's from Connecticut. She belongs to his stupid country club.
-Is she?
-Could I be anymore goddamn spastic? So you're sure, this Warner guy is "the one"?
-You showed up Warner in class? You're supposed to be showing up Sarah.
-You ready?
-No.
-God, that felt great!
-Look at him. He's still scratching his head.
-I feel so bad for her. I mean, she's in jail! And she's innocent. But I'm the only one who believes her. Donovan totally thinks she's guilty.
-So, this is the only interaction you two have ever had?
-No. Sometimes I say "Okay" instead of "Fine".
-Have you ever considered asking him if he'd like a cold beverage? Or perhaps a neck massage?
-What's the point? Look at me.
-Good one.
-And after they set his nose, he came back for his truck and I offered to drive for him since he was still on pain-killers and we spent the whole afternoon together! He was unconscious for part of it, but it was really fun!
-I'm so happy for you!
-How'd it go at the trial?
-Great. Donovan actually said the words "Good work, Ms. Woods". He takes me seriously! Can you believe it?
-You can't go home!
-I'm here to see Brooke Windham.
-Licensed attorney or family member?
-Uh -- family.
-Relation?
-I'm her sister.
-Name?
-Hi. Sarah Knottingham.
-Our group is full.
-The idiot speaks.
-I believe her, too. I don't think she's having an affair with Enrique.
-Too bad you and I are the only ones.
-It's not my alibi to tell --
-I know. I thought that was very -- classy of you.
-Warner can't even do his own laundry.
-I know. He has it sent out.
-Did you know he got wait-listed when he applied? His father had to make a call.
-Donovan asked to see you before you leave.
-Really?
-You almost had me fooled.
-What?
-I'm a bitch.
-Yes, you are.
-And Donovan's a scumbag for coming on to you.
-You're pawning The Rock?!
-Can someone please tell Rick that he is not the only Sigma Chi with a big penis?
-Why else would she have flown in from Newport? It's not like she'd Fed Ex a six carat diamond.
-Too demure?
-I think you should go with red. It's the color of confidence.
-What if -- you know -- it's not the night?
-I don't know! Everything was normal at first and then he said he needed someone more -- Serious!
-We still love you. Sisters forever!
-Honey, stop! You have to leave this room -- it's been a week.
-Once Warner sees me as a serious law student, he'll want me back. It's a completely brilliant plan!
-But isn't it kind of hard to get into law school?
-Here. You're gonna need this.
-Your scrunchie?
-Elle, do you know what happened on "Days of Our Lives" yesterday?
-It's Elle! Guess what I'm doing right this second?
-Power yoga?
-Picking out my wedding dress!
-What?!
-Josh proposed!
-Keep June first open -- you're one of my bridesmaids. And give Warner our love.
-Oh, how sweet! You made friends with a nerdy girl.
-Speaking of which, can you please put on some party clothes? You look like someone rolled you in something sticky and dragged you through a K- Mart.
-Hello! You're like, a lawyer.
-Do they just -- put you on the spot like that? Like, all the time?
-The professors? Yeah, they tend to do that. Socratic method.
-You have Stromwell.
-Did she do that to you, too?
-No, but she made me cry once. Not in class -- I waited until I got to my room, but yeah, she can pretty much shrivel your balls -- or you know, your whatevers.
-Neat.
-Donovan, Royalton and Levinson.
-And make sure you read the footnotes in Levinson's class. That's where all her exam questions come from.
-Good luck.
-Don't ask.
-Okay, if Brooke didn't kill the guy, who did?
-Explain to me why you're so anti- Brooke.
-Uh, for starters, she won't give us an alibi --
-Aside from that.
-She's completely untrustworthy.
-Why?
-She married an old man, she's made a living on telling women they're too fat, she hawks her crap on the Home Shopping Network...
-A) He's an old man with a really big penis. B) She never told me I was fat. And C) Victoria Principal sells on that network.
-And D) Brooke is obviously hiding something.
-But maybe it's not what you think.
-You're kind of being a butt-head right now.
-How do you figure?
-I can't believe you called me a butthead. No one's called me a butt- head since ninth grade.
-Damn. We can't see her for an hour?
-Mrs. Windham Vandermark?
-She's not!
-How can you still believe she's innocent?
-You're going to trust the word of a woman who named her child after a condiment? She's ly-ing.
-And you know this for a fact?
-Did you see the icky black color of her hair?
-So?
-The what?
-Blondes are discriminated against worldwide! Brooke's a blonde, and people are saying she's sleeping with the cheesy pool boy and shooting her husband. If she was a mousy brunette, it would be, "Oh, the poor widow."
-Okay, how would it work?
-It would be a full-service law firm, by and for blondes, providing positive blonde role models and community outreach in high blonde areas. I mean, think about it -- name one blonde intellectual role model.
-I can't.
-That is a direct result of anti- blonde discrimination!
-Wait -- Hilary Clinton.
-In that case, maybe Heyworth got fellated by a brunette and Brooke caught him.
-Exactly how much gorilla sex do you think a sixty-year-old man can take?
-What the hell is that for?
-The bags under your eyes. You're an attractive man, but you need to take better care of yourself.
-I don't -- Do that stuff.
-Well, you should -- If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you project joy into the world.
-Projecting joy is not my job.
-You really think I'm attractive?
-He's gay! Enrique is gay!
-Back up. How do you know he's gay?
-Hey --
-Whoa -- Why?
-Law school was a mistake. Getting this internship was a mistake.
-So now you're -- ?
-Going back to LA. Maybe I can fulfill my destiny as a useless bimbo and join the Swedish Bikini Team. No more navy blue suits. No more panty- hose. No more trying to be something I'm not.
-Oh, my God!
-Up for a celebration dinner?
-Are you asking me on a date?
-As long as you realize I'm not just some man-toy you can show off like a trophy.
-Then, forget it. Besides, I have an early class tomorrow.
-Someone missed you.
-Is he the only one?
-But I'm not positive it's gonna happen tonight --
-No -- it's just -- not me.
-I'm canceling the mixer. We'll blacklist Sigma Chi.
-Thank you, Serena, but I don't think it'll do any good.
-Oh, he is so over on this campus.
-How could this happen?
-I don't know! I don't know anything any more! I just need to be by myself.
-Girls -- I'm going to Harvard!
-Calvin Klein's spring line is atrocious. Don't you agree?
-Almost.
-Well, hurry up so you can come home! We miss you!
-I miss you guys! The people here are so vile! Hardly anyone even talks to me unless it's to say something that's not nice. Law school sucks!
-Oh, my God! I completely forgot to tell you!
-What?
-I got bangs!
-What're you doing here?!
-You guys -- I can't. We're in the middle of a trial.
-I wish we could stay longer, but I have a game.
-Neither.
-Why not?
-Yes? Ms. Woods?
-I did?
-You're applying for my internship, aren't you?
-I don't know --
-You should. Do you have a resume?
-It's pink.
-Maiden name -- Daniels. You know her?
-Amazing how?
-She could make you drop three pounds in one class. She's completely gifted!
-His twenty-seven year old daughter and the pool boy.
-Maybe she found him like that.
-You don't really believe she's innocent?
-Class schedule, map, book list.
-Has Warner Huntington checked in yet?
-Wait -- my social events schedule is missing.
-Your what?
-You know -- mixers, formals, beach trips.
-There's a pizza welcome lunch in twenty minutes. Does that count?
-You're beautiful.
-I'm fully amenable to that discussion.
-I mean, we're having a lot of fun now -- but things are gonna be different when I'm at Harvard. Law school is a completely different world. I need to be serious.
-Of course.
-My family expects a lot from me. And I expect a lot from me. I plan on running for office some day.
-And I fully support that.
-But the thing is, if I'm gonna be a senator by the time I'm thirty -- I can't keep dicking around.
-I completely agree.
-I'm sorry, Elle, I just --
-You're breaking up with me?! I thought you were proposing.
-Proposing?! Elle, If I'm going to be a politician, I need to marry a Jackie, not a -- Marilyn.
-You're breaking up with me because I'm too -- blonde?
-That's not entirely --
-Then what? My boobs are too big?
-C'mon. Let me take you home.
-No.
-Elle, believe me, I never expected to be doing this, but I think it's the right thing to do.
-How can it be the right thing if we're not together?
-I have to think about my future. And what people expect from me.
-So you're breaking up with me because you're afraid your family won't like me? Everybody likes me!
-East coast people are different.
-Just because I'm not a Vanderbilt, all of a sudden I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner! Across the street from Aaron Spelling! I think most people would agree that's way better than a Vanderbilt --
-I told you, Elle. I need someone -- serious.
-What're you talking about? You're not here to see me?
-No, silly. I go here.
-You go where?
-Harvard. Law school.
-You got into Harvard Law?
-Oops! Time for class. Meet me after? On the benches?
-So -- uh -- how was your first class?
-Good. Good.
-I'm sorry, I just hallucinated.
-Wow. You're a walking felony.
-Thank you. Having fun?
-Now I am.
-I feel like we've barely spent any time together since we got here.
-That's because I spend all my time with case studies and hypos.
-Tell me about it. I can't imagine doing all this and Donovan's internship next year.
-I didn't mean --
-Am I on glue, or did I not get into the same law school you did, Warner?
-Well, yeah, but --
-But what? We took the same LSAT, we take the same classes --
-You look -- nice.
-If you tell him, you'll probably make summer associate. Who cares about Brooke? Think about yourself.
-Pink ones.
-Thanks for the backup.
-It made me realize something. I'm an idiot.
-In court. On opposing sides.
-Are you serious?
-Did you ever take Mrs. Windham on a date?
-Yes.
-Where?
-A restaurant in Oakland. Where no one would recognize us.
-And how long have you been sleeping with Mrs. Windham?
-Three months.
-And what is your boyfriend's name?
-She's naked.
-So, I hear the tart from California shot Heyworth.
-Well, that's what we're trying to prove didn't happen. Do you have any reason to believe it did?
-Aside from the fact that he found her on an infomercial? She said they humped like gorillas. Chutney could hear them all the way in the pool house.
-I' m sure that was very awkward for Chutney. Much as it is for me, hearing you tell about it.
-But I guess it wasn't enough for Brooke.
-Why do you say that?
-Hovering?
-Elle?
-Is it a Kappa?
-Oh, God. What if Josh doesn't think I'm serious enough?
-Helloo... you let him have anal sex with you. Helloo... you let him videotape you diddling yourself.
-What's the thing that always makes us feel better, no matter what?
-Let's all go! Road trip!
-Why?!
-You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a hand-job after the final.
-There he is!
-Why so few?
-Fool's magic.
-Fight's over before it's begun... soon the survivors will be in full retreat.
-Then we smash 'em?
-You go? Not watch fun?
-We come watch... we come watch...
-Nay. This is a private affair, no audience welcome... Better you watch the dismantling of our enemies... and, look you, see the moat is set aflame.
-Fire moat... why do that?
-What?
-Dumb magic. Giant smash peewee.
-Always.
-We go out, smash 'em now?
-Birdies... pretty...
-We watch... good fun...
-More fun win battle?
-This is another victory, my friends. What began with the lash shall be concluded with a caress.
-You go to lady now?
-My generosity is not so large as that.
-What do you want with me?
-Your love.
-Your words sting more sharply than your whip.
-I speak of love, and you think only of the lash.
-You are cruel! Your heartless jesting worse than torture! How can you speak of love when you see what I am!
-I like well what I see. It pleases me.
-But I'm hideous!
-You're magnificent.
-Grotesque... monstrous...
-On the contrary! The puling, pallid creature you were before was truly something disgusting. Now you are splendid... a fierce goddess... the embodiment of all that is strong and beautiful.
-You lie! You wish to humiliate me, as if the form I'm forced to bear were not punishment enough!
-God protect me.
-Not from me, surely...
-You... you're a beast!
-We're all of us beasts, my dear. Only most are afraid to show it.
-And you... are you not also afraid?
-I am afraid of nothing.
-Then why hide behind a mask? You are ashamed!
-I know no more of shame than I do of fear. I wear this mask not for concealment but protection.
-Protection?
-I am a creature of darkness. I require the shadow's solace and the black of night... Sunlight is abhorrent to me... I cover myself completely whenever I venture forth in daylight... Sunshine is my destroyer.
-Like some vile toadstool.
-I prefer to think, more like the sagacious owl.
-Do you feed on mice and rats?
-I prefer a plump capon, but will happily serve you rats if they're to your liking.
-Why have you brought me here?
-To be my bride, of course.
-Damn you!
-When the time's come, you won't need to jump, I'll throw you out myself!
-Do it now!
-Jack... Oh, Jack... Help me...
-Your moans seem almost pleasurable, my dear... developing a taste for the lash?
-Kill me... I want... so nice...
-No more... please...
-I can keep a victim alive for weeks... months, if I desire it... it's an art. They beg for death... I keep it just out of their reach. The pain remains constant.
-Sweet Princess, you begin to sound most reasonable.
-What do you want from me?
-We'll get you cleaned up, find a suitable gown... I imagine you'll enjoy a good meal?
-Oh, yes...
-A few day's nourishment will see your strength returning.
-And then?
-Yes?
-What will become of me then?
-When you are ripe for my pleasure, I will enjoy the harvest.
-I see...
-I'm pleased you're not troubled by the prospect...
-Do as you wish with my body, you'll never possess my soul!
-Your soul...? Why should I bother with such a paltry trifle?
-I don't expect you'd understand.
-You're a beast!
-What was that? Did you hear that?
-It's nothing. My men take great delight in routing the enemy. Don't trouble yourself, beauty.
-It sounded like it came from the courtyard.
-From the parapets most likely. The men are amused by a battlefield entertainment of my own contriving.
-Might we watch, too?
-And I with you... I never dreamed life held such pleasures...
-Pleasure is for those who seize it! Do you think those insipid, pale- skinned mortals will ever know such rapture?
-It's odd... when I first found myself... changing... I was sick with loathing and disgust. I thought I was so ugly I wanted to die...
-And, now?
-Now I want to live forever. I've never felt so strong or happy.
-Or looked so beautiful...
-Yes. I feel that, too. Weakness is what is ugly.
-Precisely, my darling. Your animal strength, your primitive power has surfaced... you are what you desire.
-To be strong and free... that is all I desire.
-What you do, boy? You be velly solly, come here intellupt my sleep.
-I didn't know... I --
-What? Speakee loud! No hear velly good.
-I said, I mean no harm... I thought this as empty tomb.
-You come stealee tleasoo?
-Oh, no, never... nothing like that... never crossed my mind.
-No need lie, boy. I no hurt you. Do I look like I wanna hurt you?
-Well, er... no. I mean, you don't look like dragons I've heard of.
-Course not. I no flum here. I come flum Cathay.
-Cathay?
-Country fa' fa' away. To the East, beyond the lising sun...
-East of Mercia?
-You got no idee. People there lookee diffelent; speakee diffelent. Nothing the same. In my countlee I bling good luck. Makee lain and thunder.
-You don't ravage the countryside, devouring maidens and burning the crops?
-Dlagon not like that. Dlagon is spilit of life... spilit of stlength and goodness.
-Then you'll understand my quest. An ogre named Blackheart has killed the last stag unicorn and stolen his horn. The world outside is cursed, plunged into eternal winter. Unless I return the alicorn, the earth will be frozen forever.
-Flozen foleva not good.
-It's terrible.
-An' how you do it? How you rift cuss?
-I need your help. In order to fight Blackheart, I must wear the armor of Achilles. I --
-You come stealee tleasoo?
-No, wait... please... listen...
-Friend Ogg. Excuse our enthusiasm, occasioned as it was by a fondness for you.
-Honeythorn Gump, is it? I've not seen your ugly face since you sold me a jug of cow piss claiming it was dragon's tears.
-Well, bygones're bygones, I always say.
-Or was it the time you and Jimmy Squarefoot stole the golden apples I'd forged.
-Twas Jimmy done that, I merely stood for the blame unfairly... but, here now, Ogg, this be no time to rehash old differences, I've friends along in need of safe haven for the night.
-Who might these friends be?
-Baron Couer de Noir is a blight 'gainst all nature. We dwarves be not fighters; still we are with you in this battle. Some of our handiwork may be of assistance.
-We be honored, friend Ogg.
-So, Jack... think you be a Green Man and not know Gump.
-Gump, is it?
-Aye, Honeythorn Gump, come to serenade you, Jack... come to make you dance.
-I'm in no mood for dancing.
-Oh, but you will be, Jack... Think you to sleep in a faerie ring and not spend the night a-dancing?
-Faerie ring?
-No! Tis not the time! I want no part of your frolic.
-Enough!
-And how is it a mortal dare dictate to the faerie folk? Is me music not to your liking? Mayhap the dance of death by more your pleasure.
-No... I... I need to rest.
-You'll have a long, long rest in the tomb, me lad.
-I meant no disrespect.
-Didn't you now? Well then, answer me this riddle and all be forgiven.
-And if I cannot?
-It's bluebells!
-What!
-Damnation! Codfish and cockles! Gammon and trotters! You've bested me, Jack.
-A riddle without an answer is but an empty cup when you're thirsty for wine.
-You be our guest, Jack.
-I'm honored, Honeythorn Gump... but no more tricks.
-You have me word, lad. To answer a faerie riddle deserves as much.
-Twas the Princess Lili gave me the answer... have you seen her, by chance?
-I've laid eyes on no mortal but you this day, Jack.
-I fear she's lost.
-Why, Jack-lad, she likes you, is all. And what hot-blooded hero wouldn't welcome the affections of a fair nymph like Oona here...? If your blood runs so cold, boy, you be a corpse before your time.
-Elderberry wine. No finer drink under heaven.
-It looks... er, delicious... Such a fine bouquet... very aromatic...
-Are ye afraid of me wine? Did your momma tell ye never to take food nor drink from the Wee Folk? Think if ye sup with the faeries you'll be enchanted?
-Well... I... I don't want to be rude, but... it's generally known that --
-Generally known! What general ever knew more than to lace up his boots?
-Please don't misunderstand. I am grateful for your hospitality and --
-But... but, why?
-Big question that, lad. Why what?
-Why has this happened to the world? Why is it winter now, and dark?
-Aye. Honeythorn Gump'd be a powerful wizard indeed could he answer.
-Don't you know?
-That much magic I can offer ye, a small measure of entertainment at best. Making the world a frozen hell is beyond me modest powers.
-Then, what's gone wrong? Why did it happen?
-If ye want more tricks, I'm your man, but for big questions ye must go elsewhere.
-Don't you care about what's happened?
-Course we care. What good's the world locked in a season of death. Frozen up, no folks to scare out of their wits on a summer's night; no babies to tickle; no more spells to cast... Think that's an enjoyable prospect?
-There must be an answer somewhere.
-True... But it won't come easy or free. If ye want to ask, ask Jenny Greenteeth.
-Someone worthy of respect, lad. She be a water spirit, lives in a bog down at sea-side. Hideous creature to look at, even by my doubtful standards; devours little children, she does, when she can catch them.
-How is it this hag knows the truth?
-Think there be truth only in beauty, lad? If you've the courage to ask and take care to avoid her terrible claws, Jenny Greenteeth has the answers you seek.
-Will you lead me to her?
-Are we here?
-Aye. That foul wallow be where Jenny Greenteeth dwells. Oona... lure her out. Play the part of a girl-child.
-What do I do?
-Here now. Toss her this when you've the chance. Jenny Greenteeth can't resist the sight of herself in a glass. She's terribly vain. Praise her beauty and you'll lull her sweet as a babe in a cradle.
-And if she thinks me a liar?
-The princess is dead.
-Lamentable news, Jack... but tis the fate of the living concerns us now.
-Did you hear? Twas the killing of the unicorn caused it.
-Aye. Black Baron's mischief.
-If the horn be restored the curse is ended.
-Time for a champion. Can you do more than pick acorns and rob bird's nests, Jack?
-I'll do what I have to do, for Princess Lili's sake!
-Bravely spoke. You've the heart of a champion, true enough.
-Twill take more than heart. Where do we find the armor of Achilles, for a start?
-There it be, lad. The Lindfarne Mound. Kings long forgotten lie there, lost in their final sleep.
-Have we turned grave-robber, then?
-A tomb it once was, boy, and a tomb it may yet be... There's another in residence at Lindfarne now.
-And who might that be?
-So I'm to be a dragon-slayer, is that it?
-Now, Jack-lad, no one's asking ye to skewer the worm. Even St. Michael'd have a job on his hands for all that. But the serpent hoards a pile of booty, Achilles' armor among his treasures... if we find our way within the mound and him asleep...
-Better pray the worm's a sound sleeper, Jack.
-You do the praying. I've work ahead.
-There's the spirit, lad. If ye run into trouble, give a yank here and we'll haul ye up.
-What's left of me... How do I recognize the armor of Achilles?
-There be no finer victuals than worm flesh, lad.
-By the grace of God.
-I believe this is a sword such as the archangels wield. Surely St. Michael had so fine a blade when he drove the serpent from heaven.
-Shhhh!
-What is it?
-Pregnant, is she?
-Damn them!
-Don't see why I can't ride, too! I'm second in command, damn it!
-The colt's still too small.
-I'm small... and I can make myself smaller still... Small as a bee! Small as dust...! Want to see me do it?
-We've no time for tricks this day, Honeythorn Gump.
-Tricks, is it? Why I'll trick ye! Ungrateful whelp! I'll sour your milk and bird droppings'll fall from the sky wherever ye walk.
-Save your mischief for the Black Baron.
-Aye! That too.
-You'll need more than bird droppings for Blackheart.
-I'll drop a cow on the knave!
-Fine-looking army.
-We march on Castle Couer de Noir within the hour.
-How do you plan on finding this here castle, if ye don't mind me asking?
-A true and troubling question, Gump... We'll start from where the unicorn was killed. The Baron must have left a trail.
-Track the demon to his lair.
-We must follow that bird.
-Whatever for?
-Jenny Greenteeth said: "Follow the raven in her flight..."
-Aye. Said to follow it to the edge of night. But is this the right bird?
-I'm sure. It spoke to me.
-Birds speak to me all the time. What did it say?
-Beware.
-How do we follow a raven we can't even see?
-Send Oona up above the tree tops. She be our eyes.
-This is ogre's magic.
-Blackheart?
-Aye. He's enchanted the lot of them. His reward for delivering the unicorn.
-Foul fellow, this Couer de Noir.
-The foulest. Mayhap I can cut them free.
-Worse than the battlefield.
-What know you of fields of war?
-There... it seems to quit... I'll wager that war held other attractions quite apart from nursing.
-Well... if the knight be already dead; what harm is there in... borrowing a thing or two?
-Oona tells me the raven has roosted for the night on a sharp stone spire some half a mile distance.
-Good.
-Twould appear other travelers precede us.
-Nay, Jack, tis not what you're thinking.
-I trust our own welcome will be more hospitable.
-And this? Some of their handiwork?
-Nay. That's but to distract the casual visitor. A dwarf is too busy to suffer fools gladly.
-Better to kill than be disturbed.
-Your imagination runs away with you, Jack... Those bones be but battlefield gleanings, like I mentioned. A wee bit of carrion to frighten off the uninvited.
-Nice piece of work.
-My God! Look!
-Something the matter?
-Shhh! Not so loud, mayhap he'll hear ye.
-Dwarves be very sensitive about their feet.
-Certainly understandable.
-I should hope not!
-I pray always to be worthy of it.
-Don't let this talk of heroes upset you, Jack. Sigurd's sword is no great thing. The Volsung killed Fafnir. You killed Lindfarne. That's one worm apiece... I'd say you and Sigurd were neck-and-neck.
-We're not in a tournament, Gump. Ah, but a sword twice tempered in the blood of living dragons...
-Tis not the sword that counts, but the man what swings it. Rest easy, Jack.
-God protect you, Honeythorn Gump.
-Make haste! We've a hard day's march ahead.
-... this rate... we'll all be in our graves... 'fore we reach the Baron's fortress...
-We'll surely be in our graves if we don't.
-God's blessing.
-What make ye of that, Jack?
-Wait!
-Archers! Bring down that spider! I'll deal with this other creature...
-Is she... dead?
-No, thank the Lord, but she be sore envenomed by the spider's bite.
-We're blind now. Oona was our eyes and ears. How do we find the Castle Couer de Noir without her?
-We'll find it.
-Easily said... the raven passed this way hours ago.
-Heading true north. We continue in that direction.
-Never knowing when it takes a turn or changes course.
-We'll trust in faith, Gump.
-Why not admit it, Honeythorn Gump. We've lost our way entirely.
-Long as we don't lose heart, Jack...
-We'll never find the Baron's castle.
-Wait, Jack.
-Hold, Jack! Don't strike!
-Nay. I show no pity to imps and fiends.
-Aye. We be on a quest to set the world aright --
-Can we trust him?
-Never felt so cold in all me born days...
-Don't like the feel of it, Jack.
-Give in to despair and all is lost.
-It feels wrong, Jack... like a trap.
-There's more than one way to spring a trap.
-That be so, better you pinch yourself now, Jack.
-On the morrow I'll be awake enough to see if dreams come true.
-Tells you something 'bout him what lives there...
-We'll need more siege machinery and longer scaling ladders.
-Why not mine the damned walls?
-A fine mess this is... horrid, nipping creatures... What do we now, Jack?
-Defend ourselves. We've bested far worse already.
-Easily spoken...
-Don't loose heart... Assemble the archers. Have everyone not holding a shield man a bow. Shoot the damned things as they fly.
-There aren't enough arrows.
-Water doesn't burn...
-And frog don't fly and bite like tomcats. It be magic, Jack... powerful ogre's magic.
-There isn't much time!
-Been telling you that all along, lad.
-What magic have we on our side?
-Faerie magic's no match for a sorcerer's power... We have Ogg's gifts, the key and the --
-That's it! The unbreakable line! We'll tie it to an arrow and fire it up into the timbers above the portculis... then, I'll climb up and chop down the drawbridge.
-Will you chance a miss?
-One more turn...
-Have the engineers corrected for alignment and trajectory?
-Aye. Before the wee pesties attacked.
-Then it's Godspeed, Screwball.
-He'll be atop the portculis ere long.
-Best get down close to the moat, lad.
-Aye. We're good as inside.
-Jack! The courtyard's been taken... The Baron's forces are besieged in the south tower. No sign of... Jack? Do you hear what I'm saying? We've won, lad.
-It doesn't matter.
-Nonsense! Course it matters.
-She's sore hurt, Jack, tis true, but not dead yet.
-The wound is mortal.
-Nay. You've not reckoned with the powers of faerie medicine.
-Can you save her?
-Easily... The question is, can we save ourselves? Be a shame to win the battle only to lose the war.
-I don't... understand.
-The Baron hides in the dark in a passage under the Castle... Quick, give me the dwarf's key... the one which opens any lock...
-In the dark, lad? Why should he do that?
-Because sunlight will kill him. Quickly now, give me the key.
-Sunlight, you say?
-Aye. Hurry now, Gump, the key!
-Mean you to seek him out below?
-I'm not afraid of the dark.
-The kitchen be the most important room in a palace, for if the victuals ain't right, little else is likely to be so.
-Did you bring me here to sup?
-Nay, lad, we're here to collect a weapon you'll need fighting the Baron.
-What weapon?
-Sunlight.
-Plan on carrying some away in a kettle?
-Will you explain what's going on?
-Hey! Stop it! I can't see.
-Can't we move any faster?
-Seems to be some sort of vaulted chamber up ahead...
-Don't get too far!
-He's getting away! He was at my mercy!
-Never show mercy!
-Ever wondered why Jenny Greenteeth said you needed the fastest steed on earth?
-Ride like wild fire, Jack.
-He'll not escape me.
-A good day for singing...
-I've not heard a note out of you.
-Not in the mood, I'm afraid.
-Listen to him. Not in the mood...
-On a day like none other the blessed earth has ever seen... A day so fair as forty springtimes --
-I'm not denying it's a joyous day --
-Where's your joy if you cannot sing?
-Were the Princess Lili to join me I would sing till my lungs burst!
-She lives... isn't that worth singing about?
-The quest's at an end and where's the good of it? A faerie festival over a pile of bones?
-Tis not the wound, that's sure. Not a scar remains... we're talking about a spell; harder to repair than sword-work.
-I'll do anything... face any challenge!
-Might not need a gesture quite so grand. What were you doing the very moment the Baron's curse fell on the world?
-I was with the Princess.
-Where?
-By the pond. She was teasing me.
-Go on... go on...
-She tossed her ring in the pond and bid me fetch it. Said she'd marry me if I did.
-And did you?
-Nay. It was lost. When I came up for air the pond was frozen over.
-You must find the ring... It completes the cycle; answers the riddle...
-I'll try.
-Keep me belly full, Jack. Kill us another worm.
-Hush up, Screwball. Do your own worm-sticking if you like the taste so well.
-Well done, lad. Stout heart.
-Barely living, from the looks of it.
-You see! You see!
-Ogg lives there...! And Thurgis!
-We seek to undo the curse.
-Well done, lad.
-Look at that shot! Three at once! I can't miss!
-Sweet slippers of Oisin!
-Someone like Floki... or Squarefoot... or --
-Aye... my Lord...
-Start acting like you're worthy of this mission... Here. Whatever you do, don't dare drop it.
-Nay, Sire, I'll cling to it as to life itself...
-How're these?
-Dolt!
-Greetings, my lady, the green wood is honored.
-These for me?
-You promised!
-Never.
-But you did... you did!
-I may have said perhaps...
-Liar!
-It's my father, gone a-hunting. The Baron Couer de Noir is his guest and must be provided with some sport.
-Sport, indeed.
-The Baron is a frightful man. They say he's an ogre. He wears a mask so none may see his face.
-Blackheart. Aptly named.
-Oh, fie. What about the unicorn?
-Unicorn?
-A promise is a sacred oath.
-Let's rest a minute. I'm so thirsty.
-Stop complaining.
-A gentleman would offer water.
-Only were he a fool to boot. See yon viper?
-I detest serpents.
-That viper has envenomed the water. No animal will drink here now.
-What shall we do?
-Oh, dear.
-What's the matter?
-I've lost my napkin. It was all elf-work and lace... I must have dropped it when you startled me so.
-I'll go search for it.
-Don't leave me now. I fear the unicorn won't show himself without you.
-I'm not its master.
-The napkin will keep. I'd rather not be alone.
-How much longer?
-Shhh!
-I am a princess. You have no right to order me about.
-Such grace... and their smell; it's ambrosia.
-They rival the angels of paradise.
-Oh Jack, mightn't I touch one? It would thrill me so.
-Are you honest?
-Jack!
-Tis a fair question. If you be a virtuous maid the unicorn will lay his head in your lap.
-He'll not flee if I show myself?
-Not if you be chaste. Tis an awesome test of virginity.
-I've no fear of failure. Your implications are most unbecoming.
-Where are you going?
-What happened?
-I don't know. They've hurt the unicorn.
-Who?
-My father and the Baron.
-Damned hunters. It was a trap, and you were the bait!
-I didn't know... I didn't... It was so lovely... he was in my lap like... like a baby... and... I...
-They tricked you.
-My own father...
-How bad was the unicorn's wound?
-It happened so fast. He was hurt and ran away.
-He did run?
-Oh, yes, and the mare with him.
-There are many would pay a king's ransom for a few drops of unicorn blood.
-I don't want it on me.
-Its powers are strong.
-I don't want to be reminded of what happened.
-Not even the birds sing sweet as you.
-Jack... Green Jack, you mustn't flatter me so.
-Tis the truth.
-A maid must beware of flattery... Methinks you want to kiss me.
-There's no happier thought under heaven.
-If I were your bride, would the kissing ever stop...? Do you wish to marry me, Jack?
-My lady mocks me.
-Nay, Jack, I'm but wary of your intentions.
-My heart intends no more than that you love me as I do you.
-I'm afraid it may storm.
-Let it. Haven't you a cozy bower we might hide in?
-Tis not fit for a princess.
-Be it fit for your wife, Green Jack?
-I have no wife.
-Then, perchance you'll me.
-If wishes were horses even beggars would ride.
-Do you wish it, Jack? Wish you this our wedding band?
-Lili! No!
-What have I done?
-I thought you were dead... I --
-I was bewitched... it's better this way...
-No! I won't let it happen...
-You've freed me, Jack...
-It's the Baron's damnable work! Too cowardly to stand and fight... he used you to save himself.
-No... it's not you he's afraid of, it's... light...
-What?
-Sunlight... It destroys him.
-Sunlight?
-That's why he goes masked during the day...
-So, he's hiding in the dark...
-In the dark... where I join him...
-No! Don't let go... you mustn't! I love you!
-Oh! Green Jack! What a dream I've had... proper nightmare.
-Sweet Jack. I'm so sorry you found me asleep. Don't know what came over me.
-I can't have been under much more than a minute.
-Seemed like weeks and weeks. Such a terrible dream... I could never tell you...
-Is what you said about the ring but another dream?
-Oh no, dearest Jack... I meant every word.
-Nay, dearest Jack... you are to be my husband. I want none other.
-But... I am a Green Man. I have no title, nor lands... scarce even a few vines and threads to keep the cold from my body.
-You wear your weeds as well as golden armor, Jack. Like a true Prince... a champion!
-Lili... I love you!
-What's the matter?
-Ouch! Something's biting me.
-Biting you?
-Pinching me!
-Pinching? Where?
-Everywhere! Ow!
-I can't see a thing.
-Nor can I. Damn! It's buzzing all around me. Ouch! I can hear it like a fly trapped inside my ear... Says its name is Oona!
-Oona? Do you suppose it's a faerie?
-Honored to make your acquaintance.
-Grand champion, is it? And what great cause leads you to me?
-We seek the ogre, Baron Couer de Noir. He slew a unicorn and plunged the world into eternal winter.
-Step lively now!
-Sigurd's sword...
-What's this now?
-I bring you the only treasure worthy of your loveliness... for naught else in the universe rivals the reflected glory of your beauty.
-Well spoke, boy. You have discerning taste for one so young... Just who might you be?
-They call me Green Jack, ma'am.
-Come closer then, Jack, that I might give you proper thanks.
-Think me fair, do you, Jack?
-The moon herself would hide behind a cloud rather than dare comparison with you...
-The moon is too round of face, methinks.
-The sight of you makes flowers seem like dross. All the heavenly angels must envy your grace.
-I like well your conceit, Jack. Tis rare to find an honest lad in this troubled world.
-Aye. And it is the trouble befallen us that brings me here. I entreat you to tell me the cause of our surrounding sorrow, most lovely of the lovely.
-Dear lad, what does winter bespeak but death? It is a time of mourning. This calamity is a curse. Something wondrous and beautiful has been taken from the world.
-A unicorn's been slain. The last stallion in all the country.
-Here be the death weapon; the unicorn's blood dry upon it.
-Couer de Noir! A demon if the Devil ever made one.
-He chopped off the horn and left the rest to rot.
-That would be the Baron's way. There'll be no light or life in the world until the alicorn is taken from him and he vanquished.
-How do I get the horn back?
-You'll need the fastest steed alive, for Couer de Noir's castle rests at the very edge of the earth. Only the sharpest sword and the golden armor of Achilles will protect you from his fury.
-Where do I find the Baron's castle?
-Follow the raven in her flight, Follow old black wing to the edge of night...
-Not very precise directions.
-Come sit beside me, sweet boy, and I'll draw you a map.
-Nay. Tempting as your invitation be. Tell me one thing more.
-Ask away, sweet man.
-What became of the princess?
-Princess? I know of no princess.
-Princess Lili, Godwin's daughter. She was with me when calamity struck, but after I could find no trace of her.
-Is she fair, this princess?
-Exceeding fair.
-As fair as me?
-Twould be to compare one star with another in the summer sky.
-She's dead!
-No!
-Dead, dead, dead.
-I don't believe you.
-This is sad news, be it true.
-Don't be sad, Jack, not with me here to give you cheer.
-Tis not the time to speak of cheer.
-You'll visit again?
-As a hummingbird returns to the fairest blossom.
-Courage, Jack.
-This is not the time for squabbling.
-Were I a mortal girl, Jack, methinks I'd be in love with you.
-Then I'd kiss you without turning my garments inside-out and sewing bells all over.
-Such a sad world, be there no unicorns to brighten it.
-Never even had a sword in my hand until yesterday.
-Then, tis not for chastity? Methought you kept a naked blade twixt you and any maiden chanced spend the night.
-I live in an abandoned fox den neath the roots of a thousand-year-old oak. My bed is pine boughs and rabbit skins. There's no need of weaponry to keep the maids away.
-I'm partial to oaks, as are all faerie folk. Mayn't I come visit sometime?
-I'd be honored.
-Only that?
-And charmed, of course.
-Fie! Don't speak of charms. I should charm you for being so dull- witted.
-I had no thought of offending you, Oona.
-Do I not please you, Jack?
-In every way.
-And am I not fair?
-Wondrously so.
-Then why do you speak sweeter words to Jenny Greenteeth?
-That was in jest.
-Jest with me then.
-How so?
-Tell me I'm fair, as you did the hag.
-You are fair as the first new flower of spring...
-And sweet?
-Sweeter than bee pollen on a summer wind.
-Nay, Oona, tis not possible.
-A faerie's love makes anything possible.
-I'm promised to another!
-Oona... don't cry... please, you mustn't...
-You... you... you mortal you!
-Please...
-Why should I feel such pain? Should be the other way round... I could vex you... make you dance your life away...
-What care I for the human heart! Such a soft, spiritless thing it is. I prefer the hearts of hawks and wolves; fierce and free and keen as steel!
-And as barren of love as stone.
-I would build a wall around me with such stone, so the likes of you might never enter.
-Be fair, Oona.
-Is this a May Day pageant? Are you all off on a lark...? The raven passed this way hours ago!
-Heading north still?
-The fastest in the world.
-What do we do now?
-What's she doing?
-I'm in your debt, Screwball.
-Praise be to God.
-Master Jack! Master Jack! These woods are alive! They're alive!
-Where?
-Up ahead!
-What can you steal from a man already lost his life?
-What care the bones when the soul is free?
-Maybe there's a better idea... What about birds... get a lift from some friendly bird...
-Haven't heard a bird sing in days...
-Hello, Jack.
-Sorry, Jack.
-Your fond wishes give me strength, dear friends.
-Each fit for a hero... My uncle fashioned a hammer for Thor. Twas he named it Mjolnir. Grandfather forged Excalibur... You won't ever see finer craftsmanship.
-How came you by this blade?
-The Avatar. I like the sound of it.
-Uhm... fine work.
-Achilles wore it before the gates of Troy.
-You're with us in battle.
-No hurt Jimmy, sir... oh no, please, sir...
-Is he a friend, then?
-Forgive my blood haste, Jimmy Squarefoot, but I want no more surprises from Couer de Noir.
-Lost?
-Much good we do the world, for all our noble quest...
-Simple as that, eh?
-Castle Couer de Noir built with magic... simple as death... strong as hate...
-Can you show us the way?
-To Castle Couer de Noir?
-There'll be spoils aplenty if you guide us there. Once we breach the walls, help yourself to all you can carry.
-Let that be our problem, just get us there.
-It be the castle... we feel the castle... it be that close...
-A castle's but stone and mortar --
-Plenty treasure inside... Jimmy seen it once.
-You've been inside?
-In a dream.
-Marco!
-What are you doing?
-Dad's disappeared!
-And we got to take all the old paint off all the doors and then George taught us how to stain everything and he even let me choose the color I liked best! And he said he loved me!
-We did a lot of the wiring too.
-Are you going to see Sam again?
-You can go back to bed...or Lois might let you go swimming.
-I wanna be with you today.
-Oh, honey. There's not much to do there. I mean, it's all work.
-I woke up this morning at three and couldn't fall back asleep. Everyday I think I see more of Sam than I've seen in years.
-Did you know him before you knew Dad?
-And video games after!
-That's how you get things right is to always try and never give up. Huh, Mom?
-He's not there.
-He's here. Check the bathroom.
-When does George get to come see his house?
-What's that for?
-Mom said I should.
-Oh.
-So put your plans of my room in the trash.
-He hasn't called?
-Do you guys feel like painting?
-What color?
-Red.
-Mom?
-I put him to work.
-I couldn't get it to go down.
-And why was the alarm on?
-Oh...I set it to see if it would work.
-You'd better call and cancel.
-What are you doing up so early?
-I couldn't sleep last night.
-Why? What do you mean?
-I'm going to bed.
-I'd be more comfortable if he slept in the guestroom.
-Atonement.
-Sorry I got you into trouble.
-He must.
-He seems lonely.
-Are you his friend?
-No.
-Why?
-Alyssa.
-Why have you put a toilet and a bed in your garage?
-I'm living here while I build another house.
-Don't you have school?
-What's today?
-My keys.
-I had them in my pocket.
-Can you keep Sam straight?
-He's not gay. I found out purely by accident, believe me.
-I mean drugs. I thought you said he was?
-He wouldn't use around me. I don't like any of it.
-You're a good girl.
-You have to ask like that?
-I want you to try something with me, okay?
-Did you feel anything?
-My mother would die.
-It's not what I was expecting.
-What did you think it would be?
-I'm hungry! Where's my dinner? Who ate my dinner? Huh? Who's in trouble now?
-Hey.
-They're trying to make me spend the summer here. I'm leaving in the morning.
-Where to?
-I'm supposed to be in Tahoe.
-Your dad's really gonna build his house?
-I don't know.
-You should stay.
-I don't know.
-Where's your dad?
-He jumped into the ocean.
-He's a freak.
-You look better without make-up.
-I can't even take a shower here.
-Come over to my house whenever you want. I'll tell my mom.
-I might not stay, anyway.
-I'll get your back.
-Do you remember me from when you lived here?
-Yeah.
-Your dad dated my mom after her divorce.
-Really?
-I wanted him to marry her.
-Why?
-Josh and I are going to South Coast. Wanna ride? Maybe see a movie?
-Huh?
-I can use your mom's.
-Not really. No. Kinda. He got busted?
-Really?
-He asked me to tell you that you owe him a hundred dollars.
-This is serious! I don't have my license. He was my ride.
-I've seen lots of people. It's not a big thing for me.
-Hand me a towel. I'm getting out.
-I'm coming in.
-I don't want you to!
-We're not gonna do anything.
-Why are you so stupid?
-Why are you so uptight?
-I don't even...what do you mean? I don't even know what that means.
-It means I'm gonna shampoo my hair and stay out of your way.
-What's the point of this?
-Does everything have to have a point?
-Are you sure you're totally into guys?
-What are you talking about?
-Josh said...
-I was wondering.
-You're driving me crazy! Do you know what it's like trying to jack-off in an armoire?
-Not really.
-You're off, you know? You're way, way off.
-I thought I was helping you.
-It would help me if I could kiss you.
-No, I don't...NO. I thought we were just friends.
-What you think, you know, doesn't have much to do with reality. I mean, I hope I'm not the first to say that about you.
-Okay, but then we'll just be friends. Okay?
-On the handlebars or your shoulders?
-Hey, I can get you three hundred cash for two hours.
-You hate your father.
-If he tricked me into loving him, is what I meant.
-You'd hate him for the trick.
-I don't wanna go.
-He asked where you were! He wants you with him.
-Where are you?!
-Floating to Catalina.
-You're so nice to let Sam use your shower.
-Why is that?
-Just, I mean, well, you're here every single day.
-He's at work while I'm here.
-I guess I'd just be jealous if I were him.
-Well, he doesn't need to worry.
-If my kids and my wife were always at an ex-husband's house, I'd worry.
-He won't leave my room.
-Will he talk to me?
-This is such a street of whiners.
-From Tuesday to yesterday, not including Monday or today. Okay...Mrs. Dokos is repeatedly running over her lawn. The Corliss' have attributed the increase in rat population in their environs to the state of your...structure.
-And of course the Beck's, with the...
-It could have been a squirt gun.
-Are you guys' friends?
-We've known each other since grade school.
-I wouldn't want you as a friend.
-Funny how he's the architect and you're just a loud mouth cop.
-Mr. Dokos says that your father missed his height envelope by six inches.
-Mr. Stevens?
-Bob Larson. Do you happen to have an unenclosed toilet in close proximity to a kitchen?
-A violation?
-Oh, yes.
-And if I enclosed it?
-An exhaust system or a window is code.
-A sink?
-I hate to ask about a window.
-I assume you'll fill the...uh, window, with glass?
-Mr. Stevens. One of your neighbors is adamant your home has exceeded its approved height. He's filed to have construction stopped immediately.
-It's thirty feet.
-I have the permit.
-After your last extension request and with Design Review and the Board of Adjustment and the appeals to the city council, was there an amended permit?
-That would take weeks.
-I'm good, thanks.
-What are you on?
-Pardon me?
-how much weight have you lost?
-Oh...nothing. Thirty pounds. I just haven't been very hungry.
-How's your wife?
-Right...she married...what was he?
-He buys and sells the world.
-Peter Webber! Right. Quite the spotlight on that guy.
-I did tell you, didn't I? That I'd be ready to start the Berlin model today?
-This isn't me. We can show clients endless options, change anything in a matter of hours on the computer. But you won't change.
-Typing and clicking myself to renderings isn't why I started building models.
-All of us are typing and clicking, George. Whether we want to, or not.
-I'm not.
-I've been here twenty years.
-Maybe that's too long.
-Maybe...?
-Oh.
-How old are you?
-Forty.
-Class of eighty-six! I didn't know you were there.
-Listen...maybe I can get you a year.
-I hate this job.
-What are you talking about? You love your job.
-Then it sounds like I'm doing you a favor.
-It may sound that way, but I react out of fear. My life has nothing to do with what I like or don't like. You haven't been listening, have you?
-I didn't know there would be a quiz, George.
-For everything.
-Well, I feel better about this now.
-I've got one favor to ask.
-What can I do for you, George?
-Oh, well...those are...I mean, we don't get to keep our work. I could maybe ask them if you could choose one. But, you know, frankly George, you were the best. Computer models can't begin to match the beauty you gave yours. They're a part of this firm. They inspire me. I go out there and sometimes just stare at something I've designed. It amazes
-Thank you.
-Well, it's the least I can do.
-Is Alyssa home?
-She's out with a friend.
-Oh...do you know when she'll be home?
-She didn't really say.
-Sam?
-Uh huh.
-I didn't recognize you!
-I'm sorry.
-Alyssa said you don't even have plumbing over there.
-Thanks for the shower.
-Come over anytime you need to, Sam.
-If she's not up, you can use my shower.
-Thank you.
-You're here early today.
-Is Alyssa here?
-It's midnight. What's the matter, Sam?
-This has got to stop!
-He escaped. He's going back in.
-Does it give you some sort of perverse pleasure to expose your...penis in plain view of my sixteen year-old daughter?
-There are no windows facing my...exposure.
-George, this is the third time.
-The plumber's due out on Friday.
-You'll have to explain that to the police.
-You were the only neighbor I could tolerate.
-I did warn you.
-I forgot where I put my keys.
-Hello?
-The whole summer, man. Party in Tahoe.
-I don't know.
-It'll just be my brother the dweeb on weekends. All we gotta do is sand and paint the cabin, dude. My dad's gonna let me use the boat and my charm is gonna let me use my rod. Income village is the place to hook up with hump.
-I'll ask.
-I never said anything. I haven't done anything.
-I know what the deal is. Josh is a pimp. I'm not stupid.
-Your mom and the boys can drop by anytime.
-To check up on me?
-I'll be around to check up on you.
-Why would you be there?
-Because I live there.
-Did you tell him he's spending the summer with me?
-Who are you, anyway? I don't even know you.
-You'll know me by the time we're through.
-I'm not going!
-Mom, tell him I'm not going. You already promised me!
-I'm not going!
-You don't have a choice.
-Your nose ring comes out of your nose. If you've got them in your nipples, they come out, too. And there's no make-up at my house. No glue sniffing. Huffing. No pills, no grass.
-If you hit me, I'll call the police.
-You've worn out your welcome at this house, Sam. I won't ever hit you. This may well be the worst three months of your life, but you've earned it. So, pick up your suitcase and go get in the truck. Now.
-I'll hate you forever.
-Are you totally insane?!
-Probably in the bible.
-What are you doing?!
-I warned you yesterday.
-Do you ever get like the slightest inkling that you might want to help me instead of doing absolutely nothing?
-No.
-I hate turkey.
-I want you to take out your nose ring and leave it out.
-Why?
-It bugs me.
-You snore at night. That bugs me. Can I take you out?
-I don't know.
-I'm gonna take a walk. I need some money.
-You'll have money when you work.
-No one would blame me if I left!
-I'd blame you. I want you here.
-I'm not doing it!
-It'll be fine.
-Why don't you just beg some money off my dad and move into something decent with a real kitchen and a real bathroom?
-I don't beg.
-And I don't take a shower in the middle of the yard.
-I can promise you complete privacy.
-If you had a stupid phone or I could use your truck, mom would give me some money.
-I'm leaving.
-Where are you going?
-I don't know.
-When are you going to be back?
-I don't know.
-Well, until you know, you can't go.
-Where is it?
-A friend of yours is here.
-Did you got through my pants?
-I've been using since I was twelve! You're all so unbelievably stupid. You didn't give a shit about anything I did until now!
-I'll apologize for everything but today...Today I give a shit.
-You're too fucking late.
-The gloves on the table are for you.
-You can't make me do a thing.
-Sit down for a second.
-Oh, so you're in the big shit now! Child abuse. People go to prison for what you just did to me.
-I was holding for someone. That wasn't even mine.
-I'll have to pay him back.
-I won't ever hit you. I don't want you smaller. I want you to be happy. You're not. Not here with me. Not home with your mother. Not up in Tahoe. Not alone. Not anywhere. You're what I was most of my life, Sam. I see it in your eyes. In your sleep. In your answer to everything. You're barely alive.
-I'm not even listening.
-Twenty years of hating what you live in...what you are. This is the end of it, Sam. I'm gonna build something of me here that I can be proud to give to you.
-Do whatever you want with it. I don't care. All I want from you is for you to remember we built this house together.
-We haven't build shit. You're just tearing down your father.
-Hi, Alyssa.
-I took some of your Vicodin.
-I know. Why?
-I know the feeling.
-How do you become something you're not?
-What would you like to be?
-What I'm not.
-What are you now?
-Nothing.
-That's not true.
-See, that's the thing...I am what I say I am.
-I know parts of who you are.
-When you started first grade and your mom went to work, it was so she could save for an apartment. But then she met Peter and skipped the idea of renting.
-He's got nothing to do with me.
-I couldn't imagine how I could compete with him for any part of you. So, I didn't. He wanted you to have his last name...I let him even take that.
-I wish you had told me then.
-I'm telling you now.
-I gave up on you.
-I'd be in Tahoe having fun if you had given up.
-What would you be doing now?
-Getting high, I guess.
-If I asked you to stop, would you?
-I haven't used anything for two days. I'm trying.
-I'm proud of you, Sam.
-Are you talking?
-I was just thinking about my mom. She wouldn't leave him. I remember one time she made us dinner wearing sunglasses. I mean it was dark outside and in. But we never talked about it.
-Sun glasses?
-To hide a black eye.
-Why wouldn't she leave?
-I think she was terrified of living with him...but maybe even more terrified of life without him.
-I would have killed him.
-Everything would have been better if you had. You'd have liked your grandmother. And there'd be a girl out there that'd have her mother. I remember reading about her in the paper. They couldn't find her father and her mother was dead. I still feel guilty about that.
-I loved him too much.
-After everything he did to you and your mom?
-After everything.
-Dale wants to know if we should run an outside outlet for Christmas lights with a switch inside?
-You look better than ever.
-I don't think Mom cares that much that my...that Peter left.
-She seemed upset.
-I mean, do you need to have surgery on it or what? Because those pills you're taking are for a lot of pain. And you're going through them quick.
-Are you taking them still?
-I don't know what that means. What kind of problem?
-The kind where there isn't really an answer.
-I still don't know what that means.
-I don't know what that means. What kind of problem?
-The kind where there isn't really an answer.
-I still don't know what that means.
-And you told Mom today?
-We're all dying from the start. I just got picked for Advanced Placement.
-You lied to me!
-I would have lied to me if I thought I'd believe it.
-This was all for your sake, wasn't it? Having me here? Trying to get me to like you.
-I never tried to get you to like me. I tried to get you to love me.
-I don't wanna go, Sam.
-I'd eat a lot of red meat.
-What would you do?
-What kind of house?
-No one's really said four months is all you have, have they?
-Stage four pancreatic cancer. They haven't even pretended to offer treatment. You tell me, when would you start eating red meat?
-Can you build a house in four months?
-Good for you.
-I'm sorry, I don't know what that was.
-A handshake, or you know, someone pats you on your back through clothes. Doctors, people who have to touch you. But not by people who want to.
-No. A friend... your mother? Everybody gets touched by someone they love.
-I aimed high.
-Was bankrupt and dead before I was twenty.
-Left you this place.
-It was in my name so he wouldn't lose it. He stole it from everyone that deserved it by putting me on title.
-Your kid was down around Diver's Cover again, smoking pot. I didn't write him up...told him I wouldn't tell you...
-Thanks for telling me.
-Ah! Oh....
-Mr. Dokos called to complain that you and a boy are squatting illegally in the garage of your house.
-I'm surprised he hasn't left.
-It's my day off. I thought I'd help with the plumbing.
-I need you to do me a favor.
-God, you look like crap, George.
-Why do you let your dog crap on his lawn, day after day?
-How many bedrooms will your house have?
-I just wanted to know where Mom was?
-Oh. Sorry.
-It's okay.
-She needs to be alone, I think.
-Because Dad left?
-She's a little sad, is all.
-You should lock your doors.
-Did Sam call to tell you he wouldn't be over this weekend?
-Lock the door behind you.
-Where is he?
-What are you doing?
-He never answers.
-Why does he have a lock on his door?
-I called everyone, everywhere! You just vanished! You could be dead!
-Thanks for waking me up. Picking me up. You're loud today.
-You're inconsiderate and absolutely devoid of emotion!
-What?
-I didn't think you'd know I went missing.
-You didn't think someone from your office would call and tell me you wrecked the entire building and threatened people with a baseball bat?!
-A blueprint spool.
-Where have you been for a week?!
-Four days. I left to think.
-What did you do with your dog?
-Kurt's been feeding him.
-But you can't call me while you think?
-I need to talk to you.
-Why would they tow your truck?
-I was parked in day parking.
-Why call me?
-I'm going to tear down the shack and build my house.
-You've been saying that for twenty years. While we were dating, you said it.
-There's nothing anymore to stop me.
-Money?
-Severance pay. And I'm going to cash in my life insurance policy.
-How many years did I live with your beams and boards? First in the garage, then in the living room. We're going to do it, Robin. Next year. Next year. Salvaged floorboards from a house in Pasadena. Doors from a church in New Hampshire...
-I love those doors.
-Where will you live?
-The garage.
-Look, I wasn't serious about you taking Sam, so you don't have to get into any actual construction to get out of it.
-When's school over?
-Friday...God, I hate the thought of him home all day.
-I'll be by Saturday to pick him up.
-He doesn't want to spend the weekends with you anymore.
-You and Sam are going to live in a garage without plumbing for the summer?
-The garage is plumbed. I'll put in a toilet. We'll survive.
-Thank you for at least sounding sincere.
-Sounding? I need help. He's cheap labor.
-One of you would end up dead.
-At least we'll have a house to show for it.
-Forget it, really. I'll survive.
-I want him with me.
-Hey, hey!
-What was I supposed to do? When you didn't show up Saturday, I tried to call. Your phone isn't working.
-I don't have a phone.
-I drove over and you were gone.
-I can't leave the house?
-Last time you were gone for a week!
-Did you tell him he was spending the summer with me?
-No. I was going to let you do that.
-I did say he could go.
-George --
-We're fine. Turkey sandwiches.
-It makes me sad.
-What?
-I used to live here.
-But you hated four out of the five you did.
-I was here six years. And I only hated two.
-Which?
-I don't even like turkey sandwiches. What kind of pizza?
-I was up on the roof this morning, tearing it down and it struck me as strong as anything ever has. That I'm happy today.
-What have you been before today?
-It was just that, maybe the way the sun struck the ocean, the sound of the waves. It was simple, whatever it was. Then I started thinking about the last time I felt this good. It's been a long time.
-Do you remember?
-You head was pressed against my chest. I could feel your heart racing. And I remember I kissed your hair.
-What is it?
-It's not breakfast yet.
-I dreamed about your house last night.
-Finished or unfinished?
-It was perfect, George. Amazing. It was so real.
-Didn't you once dream you could lick people well, though?
-That wasn't a dream. That was Sam.
-Oh...with his ear infection!
-Go in there and lick his attitude.
-I've been wrong a lot in my life.
-With your hands or your tongue?
-I thought you'd be up with the sun.
-Do you need anything? I'll go to the pharmacy. I have some Demerol at home.
-Where's Sam?
-You brought your kids?
-I kind of said that maybe they could do something. Help. I'm sorry. They really wanted to come. I really wanted to come and they wanted to be with me. I don't think they'll be too much trouble.
-I'll find something that won't kill them.
-Or wound. Let them keep their eyes and fingers.
-Do you need help?
-It's been a while.
-Tell him how you made me fall in love with you.
-I smiled at him.
-Let's see if you've gotten any better.
-Maybe you shouldn't come everyday.
-No. Why? I like to be with Sam.
-I know they're not much help, but they love coming here, George.
-How much time do they get to spend with their dad?
-Do you know Alyssa thinks something is up with us? She's giving me crap about being away from Peter and now you're trying to do the same thing! What no one seems to realize is that Peter isn't there! He's not there! And when he is, he isn't! So, if you don't want me here, or you don't want my kids here, just tell
-I thought we were helping.
-Nothing is going on with us, is it?
-Going on?
-When I picked you up from the train station...what you said.
-What did I say?
-That thing about I was the most, you know, beautiful person you had ever known. What was that?
-That was the truth.
-You've never said that before.
-I'll say a lot of things I've never said before. It's habit.
-It sounded like a pick-up line.
-I'm married.
-You bit my finger.
-Let's not do this, okay?
-I need to know.
-Is your back still killing you?
-I didn't think you'd come today.
-I kept thinking about it, what you said... I hope you were trying to keep me away fro the sake of me.
-No. Mostly me.
-Peter left me yesterday.
-Left you?
-No goodbye. No fuck you. No 'Are you in love with George?'
-What did he say?
-Back. Neck. Back.
-I could die.
-Are you going to kiss me?
-Don't move!
-I better get the kids home.
-Been thinking?
-It'll take you like twenty, thirty minutes.
-Does Alyssa know?
-Nothing.
-You got any weed?
-What's your deal with Alyssa?
-Don't even...I'm there.
-I wasn't sure.
-He already knows everything about what he can't do. You can tell him not to even look at you, if you want.
-It's just a joke. A stupid joke.
-He said he heard hammering.
-What are you talking about?
-What the fuck?
-Everything happens for a reason. That's what my dad said.
-Then you tell me, what just happened?
-I don't have a clue anymore. I wish you'd talk to him. He needs a man.
-His father is a man.
-We've eaten.
-Is Lois still here? I'm starved.
-Do you think it's odd your kids don't hug you?
-Should I?
-If I let everything that should worry me, worry me, I'd be dead from worry.
-What would you be if you asked Adam and Ryan to run in now and hug you?
-To shave your chest?
-The biggest waste of time since television.
-I'd love to drive through New England in the Fall.
-After the kids are back in school.
-I'm helping George build his house.
-What?
-I've been helping for the last few days. Weeks. Sam's working. I told you Sam was working. I mean, he really is.
-I can't go right now.
-You can't go because of Sam?
-We haven't been away together for three years. What difference does a few months make?
-You can't go with me because of Sam?
-Sam is working at something for the first time in his life. Once in a while he even talks to me. I want to be around for that.
-I was talking about our marriage.
-That sounds pathetic, doesn't it?
-What are you doing home?
-You never really trusted me.
-You live a fabulous life, Robin.
-Despite you.
-I never asked for more.
-That's the problem.
-Where are the kids?
-Sam took them to a movie.
-I hardly recognize you with a beard.
-That was my plan...to be hardly recognizable to you as me.
-Thanks for talking about me behind my back...useful in court.
-No.
-Do it now!
-You don't look like you.
-I thought I might be able to help, but it looks like you have all you can handle.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-You got a dog?
-I've missed you guys.
-Do you know anything about building a house?
-No.
-I guess I could teach you some things.
-What are you doing in my room?
-I didn't go in your room.
-There were no PG's. So I just gave them money to play games.
-Can you stay for dinner?
-The door was open.
-I don't know what I'm doing.
-You're sure about this?
-Yeah.
-You could keep it and rent it out?
-This is what he wants.
-I read the letter. You read the will. He wants you to keep it. To live in it some day.
-Run downstairs and give your dad a hug.
-Why?
-Queer.
-What did you say?
-Why do we have to get up and eat with you this early?
-All day again?
-Ryan, would you rather swim or work?
-I brought a few of my own.
-Adam, that's not true!
-Yes, it is.
-Nothing R, okay?
-Go tell your father we're eating.
-Dad's home, already?
-They ain't men, Mae Rose. They're convicts. And nigger convicts to boot. Can you say nigger?
-Nagger?
-No, nigger.
-Nigger.
-A night in the hole?
-She'll be fine. She just had a bit of a shock.
-Is Mae Rose okay?
-She's doing just fine.
-And the baby?
-He's a big one.
-Biscuit, when you're done with Jangle Leg, you think you could squeeze me in?
-Thought you'd never ask. Biscuit needs some gravy.
-I'm talking about a haircut.
-Don't take it so hard, Biscuit. She don't mean nothin' to him.
-These are free papers.
-What am I gonna do out there, Ray? I can't go home to my mama like this. I'll get the strap for sure.
-It's 1945. It's a different world now.
-Not for me, it ain't.
-We get the games on the radio sometimes.
-We played down in Jackson yesterday. Heard a rumor you've got a boy up here who can hit the ball a ton.
-You probably mean Can't Get Right. That's him over there.
-Can't Get Right? That's the kid's name? Can I talk to him?
-You can try, but you won't get too far. Why you interested?
-Crawford's are always looking for new talent.
-Maybe you didn't notice, but this is a prison.
-Yo, Blocker, what's going on here?
-Kid's getting out. I got him a pardon.
-Yeah, but what about me and Ray? I didn't see our names on that pardon. You said you were gonna put in a good word for us.
-Look, I am truly sorry about this. I'd like to help you...
-But you can't.
-Oh, no, Ray. Not tonight. Spanky's not happy with you.
-Is Spanky here?
-No, but...
-Then what's the problem?
-Do yourself a favor and find another place where they let you in the front door.
-But this is where the action is and I have to be where the action is. Look, when your old lady wanted those alligator shoes, didn't I come through for you? Ain't she stepping in style now?
-Yeah...
-Well, alright then. What do you think about this new tie?
-Sharp.
-Yeah.
-My name's Yvette. Sylvia sent me. You look just like she said.
-She's alright, isn't she?
-Oh, she's fine. She's just not coming today.
-Why not?
-She got married last month.
-Married?
-She always said that if you were on the outside...
-But I'm not on the outside. I'm in here.
-I know she's sorry she won't be seeing you anymore. Anyway, she wanted me to take care of you.
-Take care of me?
-You know, go to the tonk or whatever.
-I'm too old for you. Besides, I'm not much in the mood.
-Want me to come back some other time?
-Damn dentures slipping again. Everything falls apart when you grow old, eh, Claude? Time sure marches on.
-Yes, boss.
-I apologize, Claude. That was rude of me.
-That's alright, boss. Takes a lot more than a colorful brochure to hurt my feelings.
-You been on the farm for quite a spell, haven't you?
-Forty years. That's a long time for any crime, even murder.
-It's a hell of a lot longer when you're innocent.
-Half the men in this prison swear they're innocent. Don't you think that's kinda funny?
-You know I trust you, Claude.
-Yes, sir.
-Goodnight, Mr. Wilkins. Mr. Pike.
-Cool it, Ray. You're gonna get us in a lot of trouble.
-Claude, mind helping me to the bathroom?
-Sure, boss.
-I got it... boss.
-I don't see no wedding ring, Banks. Conjugal visits are for married prisoners only.
-You think you could make an exception just this once, boss? She came all the way down from New York.
-Craddock!... Williams... Henshaw!... Banks!
-Comfortable?
-As a pair of fur-lined bedroom slippers, boss.
-For the kind of money they charge here, you'd think they could hire somebody to actually wash the dishes.
-Claude. Here's to your new job down at the bank. I always knew you'd make something of yourself.
-Season tickets to the Yankees. Right there on the first base line. What's wrong, baby?
-Engagement ring!
-That's what respectable folks do. Get a job, get married, start having babies. That's what you want, isn't it?
-Come on, honey, let's get out of here.
-Did you go see my cousin Maynard like I asked you in my letter?
-Of course I did. He said he'd file an appeal right away. You didn't tell me he was so good looking.
-Yeah, that side of the family has all the looks and none of the brains. I hope he don't mess things up.
-He seemed like a pretty good lawyer to me. His offices take up an entire floor of that big, new building on 125th Street, and he was using all these words I never heard before. He even offered me a job.
-Listen, Claude, Maynard wanted to know if he should file the appeal on behalf of your friend, too.
-Ray Gibson? No, no. He's the reason I'm in here, Daisy. For all I know, he's got a record a mile long. I got a better shot of getting out of here on my own. You tell Maynard to think about me, concentrate on me. Understand?
-I've never seen you in here before.
-That's because I've never been here before.
-Can't you remember your own name?
-I know it begins with a "C"...
-Well, Mr. "C", how about buying a girl a drink? Two bourbons.
-I really shouldn't. I gotta keep an eye on my friend.
-Claude. That's my name. Claude. That's never happened before.
-You're cute. You have any money, Claude?
-Ten dollars. But I need it to get home.
-Don't I know you?
-I don't think so.
-Sure I do. What's your name again?
-Claude Banks.
-Claude Banks. How could I forget that? You've got to remember me. Ray Gibson. We went to high school together.
-You went to Monroe?
-Here, this belongs to you. It was empty when I found it.
-What I want to know is what happened to your cush between the time that you got up from the table and when I caught up with you in the Johnny?
-I don't see where that's any of your business.
-Where they taking us, anyway?
-Probably to Spanky's headquarters down at the pier.
-Good, I'm looking forward to meeting this Spanky. Give me a chance to straighten out this whole mess.
-What are they gonna do to us?
-You? Dine and ditch, right? Over ten bucks? You're probably looking at a thumb.
-Come on, daddy-o. You haven't said a word since we started. Least you could do is make some friendly conversation.
-Look, man, I don't want friendly conversation. I don't want to be your friend. I've seen your friends and I don't like them. I just want to do this thing and get back to New York in time to start my job.
-Start your job? What kind of job?
-Well, if you must know, bank teller at First Federal of Manhattan. I'm responsible for keeping track of hundreds, occasionally thousands of dollars.
-That's some long green.
-What?
-Nothing.
-No, tell me what's so funny.
-I don't know. Bank teller. Sounds like ladies work to me.
-Well, maybe I should dig around in other people's clothes for money. It's obviously been highly successful for you.
-Hey, you'd be surprised what you find in other people's pockets. Just gotta avoid them deadbeat bank tellers. Get you every time.
-I didn't start out to be a bank teller. I was gonna be a ballplayer. Even had an offer to play short for the Newark Eagles.
-Why didn't you take it?
-The Negro League don't pay so good. And you're always on the road. That don't wash with Daisy.
-You gave up baseball to be a bank teller? I can't latch on to that.
-At some point a man's got to get serious about his future. I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.
-You're talking about giving up baseball to be a bank teller.
-Bank teller's just a start. I got plans. Real plans. Not opening some Zoom-Boom Room. This time next year I'll be a loan officer.
-A loan officer?
-That's right, a loan officer.
-So you mean, if I needed some jack to get my nightclub up and running, I'd have to hype some square like you?
-How would I get a loan, anyway?
-You need collateral.
-Like this?
-That thing? Who'd you steal it from?
-My daddy gave me this watch.
-Yeah? Who'd he steal it from?
-My daddy is dead so watch your mouth. You can say what you want about me, but don't be dragging my daddy into it. This watch means the world to me. Solid gold. Keeps perfect time.
-Ah, go chase yourself. I'll take my business elsewhere. And for future reference, you are no longer welcome at Ray's Boom-Boom Room.
-There is no Boom-Boom Room.
-When there is, you can forget about it. And I swear to God, you ever talk about my daddy again I'm gonna kick your bank-telling, loan-denying ass, you got me?
-Oooh...
-Maybe we oughta find another place.
-Are you kidding? Tell me you don't want a slice of that pie right over there.
-You mean this sign? The one that says "No Coloreds Allowed." That's a good question. Ray, how come we missed the sign?
-Thanks for backing me up here, Uncle Claude.
-Don't Uncle Claude me. You get a load of those crackers? Couldn't be a mouthful of teeth among the bunch of 'em. Why you want to pick a fight with people like that for?
-You're soft.
-I said you're soft.
-Hey, man, don't ever call me that.
-Alright. You want some pie?
-Yeah, I want some pie.
-Nice meeting you? You've been here before, haven't you?
-What gave you that idea?
-Oh, I don't know, maybe because our lives depend on it, I just sort of thought you knew what you were doing!
-Don't get all agitated on me. I bought a bottle of rum from a couple of dudes, I heard 'em talking...
-Let me get this straight. We drove all the way down to Klan country 'cause you heard a couple of guys talking?
-What are you complaining about? It worked out. Everything's cool. Now, come on, let's head down there and see what's shaking. We deserve a little reward.
-Reward?
-Hey, Ray. I've been looking for you.
-Here I am.
-Guess we better get going, huh?
-Still got that ten dollars?
-Well, not exactly. See, I met this girl. Real nice girl. God-fearing girl. Her name's Sylvia.
-That jelly you were talking to right here?
-She's in a tight spot. Her mama needs this operation, and they ain't got the money for it. Their church took up a collection but they were still short...
-So you made a generous contribution.
-What can I say? When the spirit moves me.
-That was mighty charitable of you, Claude. Looks like we both got fucked tonight.
-What are you talking about?
-While you were upstairs doing God's work, I was getting jack-legged by a fool with four threes.
-You lost all our money in a card game?
-He even got my daddy's watch.
-Fuck that cheap-ass watch -- I mean, how the hell are we gonna get home without any money?
-I think he's hurt pretty bad.
-He's dead.
-What do you think you're doing?! The man's been dead for two seconds! Don't you have any respect?
-It ain't here.
-What ain't there?
-Yeah, nobody puts 'em away like old what's-his-name.
-Winston. His name's Winston.
-Would you look at that, Ray. Winston up and died on us.
-Man, this is gonna delay everything. Spanky's gonna be pissed.
-Spanky's gonna be pissed? Poor Spanky. Fuck Spanky! What the hell kind of a name is Spanky, anyway? You're responsible for this situation. I blame you for everything. If it wasn't for you, I'd be home having a hot meal right now.
-Life?! How long is life? We were just walking back to the truck. We didn't do nothing! Fuck life!
-I wouldn't do that if I was you.
-Why do you think they call him Jangle Leg?
-Somebody just told me he wins the three-legged race every year.
-So?
-This fork is filthy.
-What a second, you've been in here since you were thirteen?
-I kinda lost track of how many people we killed that night. Must have been 15 or twenty -- not counting women and children. It was a real bloodbath. All that screaming...
-Pack of lies. Don't listen to him. We didn't kill nobody. We were railroaded. And we gonna prove that.
-No, man. I want you to have it.
-Cookie drew me a map to Greenville.
-So?
-You know what I'm saying.
-Yeah, I know what your saying. And I'm saying if you made it that far, they'd be watching every train that pulls out of that station.
-That's why we won't take the train. Cookie showed me where there's a farm house. They got a boat there.
-What I know about boats is they take you to freedom. Come on, man. I think we can do this.
-You want out of this place, don't you? Don't tell me you're starting to like it here.
-No, I don't like it here. Look around. There's nothing but ass. Male ass! Balls and ass! Believe you me, I'm getting out of here.
-What does that mean?
-Forget it.
-I'm not gonna forget it. What does that mean? If you've got a plan, I think I have a right to know about it. I told you my plan.
-Maynard Banks, Esquire. Attorney at law.
-Gimme that. That doesn't concern you.
-What's up, Ray?
-Claude.
-Sure is hot today. Think it'll rain later?
-What do you want, Claude?
-What do I want? What makes you think I want something?
-My daddy always said when a man starts talking about the weather keep you hand on your wallet.
-Your daddy must have been a helluva guy, a deep man, a wise man. Sure wish I could have met him --
-Cut the bullshit. What do you want, Claude?
-You still got that map?
-Yeah.
-Well, if you're still thinking about booking it, I want in. I think we can make it.
-We? Did I hear you say we? As I recall, you're the one who said there is no we. Guess we got some bad news in that letter, huh?
-Look, my cousin Maynard is a lawyer. He filed an appeal on my behalf --
-On your behalf. What happened to we?
-The appeal was denied. Then Daisy went and fell for Maynard. They're engaged to be married, can you believe that?
-Well, let's just think about that for a moment. He's a successful lawyer up in New York City and you're down here with a bright future in the cotton picking business. Eeny, meeny, miney, Maynard.
-Come on, man. Don't shut me out. I'm telling you, you and me, that map, we can go places.
-No.
-At least you're honest for once. So now you want to be my friend? Well, let me tell you something, Claude-my- shit-don't-stink-Banks. You got a lot to learn about friendship.
-Does that mean I'm in?
-I don't think so, Claude. You'd just slow me down. We'd have to stop every five minutes so you could polish your silverware. There's no way around it, you're soft.
-What'd you say?
-I said you're soft.
-You did it, man! You got us out! Next stop, New York City!
-I know these trees all look the same, but I'm getting an awful familiar vibration from this one right here. You sure you know where we're going?
-Absolutely. The map is very clear.
-You call this a map? What was Cookie smoking when he drew this?
-Cookie didn't draw it. I did.
-You drew this?!
-I knew you wouldn't come if I didn't have a map.
-Come on, Ray, time to go!
-Don't mention it.
-Hell, you'd probably be half way to New York by now...
-Keep it together, Claude. You wake up the man, he'll shoot you for sure.
-All right, man, just settle down. We'll get outta here, Claude. We'll get outta here real soon.
-We'll just get off at the next stop.
-Say what?
-That's right, we'll get off at the next stop. The train's pulling into the station right now.
-The hell you talking about? What train?
-Hundred and Sixty First Street? That's Yankee Stadium.
-Hell, yes, Yankee Stadium. Bombers are playing a double-header against the Red Sox.
-Red Sox... Who's on the mound?
-I don't know. Who do you want?
-Allie Reynolds. He's my boy.
-Sure, it says Allie Reynolds right here in the program. He's warming up right now. Man, we're so close to the field I need cleats. How'd you get such good seats?
-I know people.
-They must be the right people. Whoa, there goes the hot dog man. Let's get a couple. Damn, that smells good. Nothing like a ballpark hot dog, huh?
-You get ketchup?
-Ketchup? Who eats ketchup on a hot dog? Mustard's what you want.
-Give me back that hot dog. I'll eat it myself.
-What am I gonna eat?
-You can starve to death for all I care. Now shut up, the game's about to start.
-Hey, man, is Babe Ruth in the lineup today?
-What you're dealing with here is a complete lack of talent.
-You want to hit? Yo, Claude. Give Can't Get Right a shot.
-Him?
-Can't be worse than any of these other fools.
-Judge must have money riding on the championship.
-It's amazing what Ray here can do with a couple of pounds of potato skins and some molasses.
-What about us? Don't forget to mention us.
-God may have given it, but Claude Banks spotted it and nurtured it.
-Damn straight. I expect those Pittsburgh Crawdads to remember that.
-Crawfords.
-It's a pardon from the governor.
-Let it go, Claude.
-You show them Crawfords how to play ball.
-One of the new kids said they're farming those acres just north of the swamp. He said he saw a crop duster flying around the place.
-I'm not in the mood right now, Ray.
-He said they keep it parked out behind the barn. Can't be that hard to fly a plane. Lots of people do it.
-They're called pilots! I'm serious, Ray. I'm not in the mood for one of your stupid, fucked-up plans right now.
-I don't see you coming up with any plans.
-My plan is on his way to Pittsburgh right now. That congenital idiot just got himself a pardon signed by the governor thanks to us, but we can't seem to do nothing for ourselves. Don't you feel a little disgusted right now?
-Crop duster.
-My daddy died in prison. He gave up hope and hung himself. What you're talking about is the same damn thing. That ain't how I'm going.
-Maybe you're fooling yourself, Ray. Maybe you're just a chip off the old block.
-Take that back or we ain't friends no more, Claude Banks.
-Better watch yourself Claude, before you say something you regret.
-The only thing I regret is the day I met you.
-Well, if that's the way it is...
-That's the way it is.
-You're a sucker. I'd have taken that deal.
-Excuse me? Are you talking to me?
-I'd have knocked you off those bottles, put a bullet in your ass and be half way to New York right now.
-After all these years of blissful silence, I almost forgot how annoying the sound of your voice can be.
-I hope you don't think I owe you anything. Because I don't owe you a damn thing.
-I was sorry to hear about your mama passing.
-That was five years ago.
-I know, but since we're talking, I thought I'd mention it.
-What?!
-You sure looked funny running for those pies, bullets flying all around you.
-You and Wilkins sure are getting chummy. You two planning on going steady, or something?
-He's just a lonely old man. He likes to talk.
-Hey, I'm a lonely old man. I like to talk, too. So why don't we start by talking about what kind of a plan you're working on?
-I'm not working on a plan.
-You can't fool me, Claude. I know you got something brewing.
-What the hell are you doing?
-Wilkins' driver's got the flu, so he asked me to fill in for him.
-You haven't driven in 40 years, you ain't even got a license. Man's taking his life in his hands, putting you behind the wheel! Where you taking him?
-Damn, it was getting hot in there.
-What the hell are you doing in that trunk?!
-You didn't think I was gonna let you escape alone, did you?
-I ain't escaping! We're picking up the new super just like I told you.
-Then you're lucky I came along. Doesn't take a visionary to spot a golden opportunity like this. Now help me out of this trunk.
-You ain't getting out of that trunk.
-Come on, man, I'm starting to cramp up here. We have the chance right here, right now, I say we go!
-Go where, Ray?
-Back to New York for starters.
-And what will we do when we get there? I'm sixty-five years old, Ray. So are you. What are we gonna do out here? Get married, have kids, settle down? That boat sailed without us, man.
-This boat's gonna sail without you, too. I don't care if I last one day out here. At least it's one day of freedom. Now gimme those keys.
-Forget about that. You run if you want to, but you're not taking this car.
-Claude, man, I'm serious. Give me those keys.
-I ain't spending a month in the hole so you can take a joy ride.
-Don't make me take them away from you.
-You sure it was him?
-Some faces you just don't forget. Warren Pike's is one of 'em.
-I don't like it, I don't like it one bit. We shoulda taken that car when we had the opportunity. We'd be half way to New York by now.
-We'd be in the hole by now. Hey, man, you're peeing on my shoe.
-Don't shoot, sir. I can deal with this. Ray, buddy, you don't want to shoot this white man. See, you do that, they'll kill you for sure. And it's not that I like you or anything, but I've kinda gotten used to having you around.
-No, I'm gonna kill him --
-I can't do it.
-That's because you're soft. Gimme the gun.
-What'd you say?
-I said you're soft.
-Why don't he just tell 'em the truth?
-Nurse Humphries was checking my prostate this morning. I got an erection.
-An erection, huh? Haven't had one of those in a while.
-Sure would like to see the house that Ruth built one more time.
-Well, Ruth shoulda built it a little better. Damn thing's falling to pieces. Gonna hurt somebody.
-What do you expect? It's almost as old as we are.
-They oughta tear that shit down and ship them Yankees cross the river to Jersey.
-Over to the morgue and up the hill to the cemetery. Never thought I'd admit it, Claude, but you were right.
-'Course I was right. About what?
-Are you trying to tell me after all this time you finally have a plan for busting out of here?
-Shh! Is that so hard to believe?
-Don't tell me, I don't want to hear it. It's probably all fucked up, anyway.
-You don't want to hear it, you don't want to hear it. There's no shame in that.
-It's too late for plans.
-I can't eat this.
-Why the hell not?
-Just put some mustard on it and eat it.
-You didn't get ketchup?
-Hell of a day for a ballgame, huh, Claude?
-No, this ain't gonna work either. It's half chocolate, half vanilla.
-So?
-If you don't eat that ice cream right now, I'm gonna strangle you until you are completely dead.
-Yeah? You and what army?
-Next thing, you're gonna be complaining about the seats.
-Well, if you must know, they could be closer.
-I know you're not talking to me...
-How you doin'?
-I'm all right.
-You ever done time before?
-You kidding? I've been in and out of prison my entire life. Mostly in. I'm hard-core.
-Then you won't have no problem making the adjustment. You need anything, help of any kind, gimme a holler. Name's Jangle Leg.
-Soft and supple. Like a lady's.
-What is that?
-Creamed chip beef on toast. Except we're outta beef, so I had to improvise.
-Can't I get one of those steaks you got grilling back there?
-At least he didn't kill Santa Claus with his bare hands.
-Alright, well, let's say you make it to Greenville. What's there, anyway?
-You got your own nightclub?
-Ray, my man, this steak is like butter!
-Made just for you, Cookie.
-How about some steak sauce?
-Why ain't his pick swinging?
-Too hot, huh? Well, you tell that lazy jiggaboo the state of Mississippi ain't interested in his meteorological assessments.
-Listen up, jiggaboo! State of Mississippi ain't interested in your... in your... metropolitan assets!
-Tell him the state of Mississippi is only interested in getting this ditch cleared by sundown.
-He's from New York City. That one, too.
-Looks like we got a couple of live ones. How long these boys in for?
-Judge gave 'em the long ride.
-We lost yesterday on accounta the rain. That means we gotta make up for it today, so put your backs to it.
-All in, boss!
-Move it out.
-We don't need no fences at Camp 8, boss.
-Alright, listen up! I want every man lined up out here in the yard on the double! Let's move it!
-Maybe I oughta eat your corn bread.
-So it don't exist.
-You mean Louis Armstrong?
-That's right, fellas. Catch any cab heading uptown. All the drivers know Ray's Boom-Boom Room.
-Where am I at, man?
-Hey, the dude's holdin'.
-Hell of a way to get out. Heard they burned up in that fire yesterday.
-So Ray and Claude got their pardons, right?
-No, they didn't get their pardons, you dumb shit! If they'd got their pardons way back then, we wouldn't be burying them today, would we?
-That musta messed 'em up pretty bad.
-Man, you really bummed me out. That's a terrible story. Nigger, you crying?
-What do you think about that?
-Why do I get the feeling when you say some time, you mean some time.
-I was already here a good many years when they came in in 1932.
-1932? That's like, that's like...
-Ray's special recipe. He always had exacting standards where the hooch was concerned.
-Old man Wilkins' never came out of that bathroom. Died right there on the crapper.
-Just like Elvis.
-It's alright for a man to cry once in awhile. Just don't make a habit of it.
-Hey, Willie, what was Claude's plan, anyway?
-Mama?
-What are you doing here, mama?
-I heard some things so I went to see Spanky Johnson. He told me what happened and gave me some money to get down here. What happened to your face?
-Rayford, I wanted so much more for you than this.
-Don't cry, mama. This place ain't so bad as it looks. Sure, we work hard, but there's plenty fresh air and sunshine... And you know something else, I've taken to going to church regular. They got services every Sunday right there in the mess hall.
-I can't take that, mama.
-I can't believe this. I always said I'd never end up like this. I thought I'd make something of myself, do something with my life. You know, be successful. Have a big house, a family. Now I'm gonna end up just like daddy.
-Don't say that, Rayford. Don't ever say that. He gave up hope. That's where you gotta be different.
-They gave me life, mama.
-Is everyone here?
-Hey, where's Claude? I don't see Claude!
-Stay calm, Ray. We'll find him. Claude! Has anyone seen Claude?
-Wait for the firemen!
-It'll be too late.
-You can't go in there, Ray! You'll never make it!
-Lemonade?
-I prefer bourbon.
-I'm sorry, I don't keep any liquor in the house.
-Hunting's been pretty good on the farm the last few years. It's one of the perks of the job. If you're interested, tomorrow I could show you some of my favorite spots.
-You don't have to twist my arm. Say now, that gumbo has quite a kick.
-If you don't mind my saying, you seem mighty familiar with your house boy.
-I believe in treating the convicts with respect, if that's what you mean.
-Respect? Well, isn't that progressive.
-What's going on here?
-He's crazy. Don't listen to him, Wilkins.
-Is there any truth to what he's saying, Pike?
-Besides, why bother with bootlegging when we got us a clear cut case of murder?
-Mr. Johnson is very well connected. If you were to let us go, I guarantee he would show you his appreciation, if you know what I mean.
-Are you offering me a bribe?
-I'm just trying to pay the toll on the road to justice.
-Yeah, it's getting late. I could sure use a bath.
-That's a real nice watch you got there, sir. Fancy old thing even plays a little tune.
-Yeah, it's special. They don't make 'em like this anymore.
-Sure don't. Mind if I ask where you got it?
-Must have been some time ago. Maybe forty years?
-Something like that, yes.
-I oughta shoot you for that comment, boy.
-I'm gonna work this man's brains out the back of his head.
-That watch was the only thing my daddy ever gave me. It meant the world to me.
-Goddamn it, Wilkins, would you please just shoot the nigger!
-Apparently, your sister died.
-Jenny?
-Appreciate it.
-Hey, Ray, Goldmouth don't believe me. Ain't it so they got trains up in New York City that run under the streets?
-Who?
-Couple years back, Cookie made it clear to Greenville.
-Hey, Ray, you ever been to the Cotton Club?
-Hey, Ray, what's the name of that nightclub of yours?
-You mean the Boom-Boom Room?
-That's it. The Boom-Boom Room. Sure would like to see that place when you get it up and running.
-What's your name?
-Me? Willie Long.
-What are you in for, Willie?
-Goldmouth? They say he was born out back behind the shithouse. That's what they say.
-You all been here a long time. Doesn't anybody ever escape from this place?
-What's the Boom Boom Room?
-Last night? What are you talking about, Ray?
-Alright Willie, I think I got everything. I'll talk to Dillard, see if I can get up to the infirmary and check up on you. Make sure they're changing your diapers regular.
-They'll be sending you up there soon enough. And not just for a visit, neither.
-How you doing? We're looking for Slim.
-Man, that music is hot. What goes on down there, Slim?
-That's Natchez-under-the-Hill.
-Blacks welcome there?
-Green's the only color that matters under the hill. They got gambling, girls. You oughta check it out.
-You don't have to drown that fella, Spanky. You already scared him half to death. He didn't know who he was fucking with.
-But you do. What does that say about you, Ray? What does that say about me? I've given you a lot of leeway over the years on account of your father. But he didn't last long enough to teach you the meaning of the word respect so I guess I'm gonna have to school you myself.
-What's that, some of your bathtub brew?
-Where'd you get this?
-I'm interested. Keep talking.
-If you fuck me on this one, I'll spare no expense.
-Understood.
-I'll take the little choirboy, if you don't mind.
-If I was you, I'd want somebody who can handle himself in a tight spot.
-ADRIAN!
-You shouldn't have come here.
-Adrian, you gotta come back to Hell. Dad's sick.
-He's sick?
-He should have thought of that before he denied me my birthright.
-Well maybe you should go back and talk it over with him.
-Of course I can. Drink or she dies. Unlike you, she won't come back from where she's going.
-Let her go.
-Welcome to the party. It's so nice to see all of you here.
-Little Nicky.
-Adrian, I'm asking you nicely, in the name of all that is good: release my friends and get in the flask.
-Is this a joke?
-Now will you get in the flask?
-I knew it. He's finally retiring.
-You work your ass off for ten thousand years, hurting people, helping others hurt people, then you get a decision like that.
-And he's dead serious.
-Um, excuse me, we're having a private conversation here.
-That's what I thought!
-Could you concentrate for five seconds?
-I am concentrating. Where can we rule?
-We could create our own hell there.
-You saying we go up there and kill everyone?
-Eventually, Cassius. But first we corrupt as many as we can so that when we do destroy them...
-...their damned souls will be ours.
-"Let the sin begins" -- that was a good one.
-Well, we must get people sinning if we want to fill up our New Hell. How are things going down at City Hall?
-I lowered the drinking age to ten.
-Brilliant. This is so much fun. I never want it to end.
-Hello, Cassius.
-All right. Let me out.
-You know, New Hell really only needs one new Satan.
-Thank you, Nicky. Cause now I'm gonna bust Adrian's head wide open.
-No!
-Ta-da. So what time is my brother expected back?
-But what about the cash? Can we keep it or what?
-It is awfully hot down here. How do you manage to stay so cool?
-And give you a good buzz.
-Or maybe it will trap me inside for all eternity.
-Oh, Nicky, I've missed you. Come on out and say hello...
-Urr... uggg... errr...
-Keep it up and I just might make you my Queen for a night or two.
-Oh. My. God. I can't believe you're here. Welcome. Can I just tell you, I am so excited right now.
-I remember that night, you had like four daiquiris.
-I'll call her later.
-All these good people have totally been led astray.
-She goes to Parson's, right?
-The home of eternal damnation, house of Hades, H.E. double toothpicks...
-Okay, can I just ask you something? What do you know about your mom?
-My brothers told me my mother was a mountain goat. Which would explain my chronic halitosis.
-A mountain goat? That's really sweet.
-My mom wasn't a goat?
-Try an angel.
-An angel?
-Wow. What... what did she look like?
-How come you're not older?
-Where did you meet my father?
-Hello... yes, he's here with me now... I don't know if he's hot, he's my son, you perv! I'll call you back... Oh my God, I will call you back, goodbye. That was my friend, Michelle, she says "hi."
-How did you see me?
-Valerie's crying!
-I gotta help her. I gotta help Dad. I gotta help everybody.
-But how can I win? Adrian is stronger and smarter than me.
-Stronger, yes. Smarter, definitely. But you have something he doesn't have.
-What is it?
-Well, nice meeting you, Jenna, Christa. Would it be okay if I called you Mommy?
-Well, Mommy, get me to the big apple cause I'm gonna rock that town like a hurricane.
-What's Nicky doing down there?
-Did you just talk?
-Where is he? He's late.
-They castrated him. He can't shoot arrows, he can't piss smoke.
-Oh my God, he just opened his mouth and swallowed that spit.
-My name's Beefy. I'm an old friend of your father's. He's asked me to help you out.
-I just need to find my brothers and be on my way, Beefy.
-Okay, "bro," this jig is up... Just get in the bottle. Just slide right on in there.
-It's not me, moron.
-Makin' friends already.
-It's freezing up here, Beefy.
-You're on Earth now, kid. Gonna have the same physical needs and limitations a human has. We'll stop by K-mart. Get you some warm clothes.
-I also have this odd pain in my mid section. Kind of a hollow feeling...
-So far, so good. Now what?
-Hey... Popeye's chicken is ass kickin'!
-It sure is. Now eat it up. You're gonna need your energy.
-From now on. I'm just going to avoid all moving metal objects.
-You'll be alright. Go on. Big day tomorrow. Don't forget to do that sleep thing I told you about.
-This is intense! And it happens every day? Sometimes twice? I gotta tip my hat to you people!
-Look, it's okay for me to shit the street. But you gotta use a toilet.
-Okay, just point me in the right direction next time.
-Come on, there's like ten million people in this city and the clock is ticking.
-All that running and chasing is making the sleep thing want to come early.
-Your brothers are upsetting the balance of good and evil.
-What can I do about it?
-You can't do jack shit... unless you learn your evil powers.
-Nobody's as evil as my brothers. Those dudes put the wick in wicked.
-Go get a soda out of the fridge.
-But those are my roommate's sodas...
-You have the power to change the cola in that can into any other liquid -- engine oil, bat's blood, moose piss. You just have to release the evil within you.
-Release the evil?
-We had the greatest afternoon of my life until Adrian made me tell her she had a heart-shaped ass.
-I seem to be in trouble, Beefy.
-I didn't murder anybody
-Look. You were really high. Things happen.
-I was with Valerie, I swear. This is Adrian's work. I've got to find him.
-This is baloney!
-What's with all the whoo-whoo noises?
-Everything's fine, pop.
-Last time you said that the renaissance happened.
-Please, pop, just go back to your room.
-Can I take him with me and have sex with his head?
-I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I regretfully have to decline.
-C'mon, man, I'm just asking for one Superbowl ring.
-In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
-You did it for Namath.
-Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways. Just go back to Earth and enjoy your records and the Hall of Fame and the beautiful family and all that.
-This is bullshit, man. I'm gonna win the Superbowl this year, with or without you!
-Knock, knock.
-No, no, that's not what I said. He can keep his thumbs, but the fingers gotta go.
-I got no ears! I can't hear!
-Check one-two. Check one-two.
-Put it back on my head. I'm falling apart here.
-Nothing, Dad. Just re-arranging the furniture.
-Now everybody sit down.
-Hey, Dad, I'm almost finished laying down my monsters of metal compilation tape. I really think it's a masterpiece.
-This was a very difficult decision, because I have three wonderful sons. I mean, Adrian, so smart, so ruthless. And Cassius, so strong, so tough. And Nicky, so... so...
-Don't worry about coming up with anything. It's cool.
-I mean... tough break.
-Now that was an experience. "You are only coming through in waves." That line blows my mind every time.
-Definitely.
-I don't care what kind of mood you're in at the start of that song. When it's over, that mood has been altered. Wow. Great shit. What's next?
-Who is this, Metal-lick-a?
-Metallica, Dad. Come on.
-You're a good devil, Dad.
-This is bad, Nicky.
-How bad?
-To do that Cassius and Adrian have to come back through the other way.
-So go get 'em, Dad!
-Nicky, the worst thing that could happen on Earth is you get killed, in which case, boom, you end up back here.
-No. This can't be happening.
-That's a train, son. Don't stand in front of them.
-Well, I guess I'm going to have to take a mulligan on this one.
-Dad, Adrian's got the whole city after me. He's always a step ahead. What am I gonna do?
-Uh, I'll do my best, Dad. Do you have any advice at all for me?
-You came through, Nicky.
-I came through for you, Mom and the butterflies, Dad.
-You're back in Hell now, kid. There's no butterflies here. If you want butterflies, you need to be on Earth.
-What about you and Grandpa and everyone in Hell?
-Listen, I got down low. Your mom's got up high. You take care of the middle.
-I'm lucky to get away with just the head boobs, right?
-Coulda been much worse.
-Hey.
-That's a pretty brassiere.
-Thanks.
-Could you maybe not tell anyone about this?
-You got it. Could you maybe not tell anyone about this?
-Bus?
-You know, I was the one who created Hell.
-I know, your wickedness.
-You know what was in Hell when I came down here, Cassius?
-It's Stanley, sir.
-Nothing. No mountains. No castles. Looked like a giant parking lot. It wasn't even called Hell.
-What was it called, sir.
-Boogerland!
-That's nice, Grandpa. Why don't you just enjoy the fishing?
-Hey...
-Your father wants to see you and your brothers in the throne room.
-Nothing's getting through that. The fire is solid as a rock.
-So go get 'em, Jimmy!
-I'm just a demon, Nicky. I don't got devil blood in me. I'd last two minutes up there with your brothers.
-I've never been to Earth. I've never even slept over at some other dude's house!
-You were gone ten seconds. What happened?
-No wonder your uncle's so weird...
-I was in love one time but she said I wasn't financially reliable enough. And she needed that.
-By she, do you mean he?
-Easy, Liberace.
-His name is Andrew. I know that guy.
-Sounds like our devil dance actually worked this time.
-There's our man.
-What's with that guy?
-Yo, man, I think that devil guy just got ripped off.
-Should we wake him up?
-Did you check out the dragon mouth?
-Look who's back from the dead.
-That's a big pass, Elton John.
-You sure you're down with this?
-Looking for the chief.
-Schnapps...
-This don't look good.
-Which way did he go?
-What's Ozzy trying to say there?
-Come on. One more time.
-No thanks. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to give Ozzy the focus he deserves.
-Whoa, that chick must be the real deal, then. Later on.
-So I was driving to work today, and some bozo in a Cadillac cut me off...
-Oh, that's terrible, Reege...
-So I followed him...
-You followed him?
-I followed him all the way downtown, and when he gets out of the car, I reach under my seat and pull out an aluminum bat.
-You keep a bat under your seat?
-Recently, yes! So I run up behind this guy, and start bashing his brains in with this bat, and it made me feel happy! Did you ever see THE UNTOUCHABLES?
-Yes, great movie...
-Please. You got to.
-I'm not Nicky. I'm not home! I don't live here!
-Good idea... kill me.
-Dude. Seriously?
-You gotta kill yourself.
-Hello.
-You smell like coconuts.
-It's "Comptoir Sud Pacific." Makes me feel like a hula girl. Which is kinda what I'm going for. Wanna come in?
-No thanks. I'm looking for a girl named Valerie who also smells like coconuts.
-Valerie Doran? Two floors up, one window over.
-Thanks, much. Good luck with the genital tucking.
-Adrian?
-You got the wrong window again, man.
-That was amazing. Thanks so much. You didn't have to do that.
-That's okay. I get messed with all the time and when I saw him doing that to you I just lost it. I hate when people take advantage of tourists. It ruins it for the rest of us.
-You think I'm a tourist?
-I'm sorry. I just assumed. Your accent maybe. Where are you from?
-The South.
-Really?
-Yeah. Deep south. She laughs along with him, not sure why.
-Why are you laughing?
-I don't know, but I like it. Say. Your glasses are nice. They make your eyes look sparkly and big. It's fun to look at them.
-My dad's an optometrist.
-My dad's in hell, and he's falling apart.
-I'm sorry. It's really tough when your parents get older.
-If I don't save him, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
-Here, have a Popeye's. This drumstick ain't for beatin' it's for eatin'.
-That's alright. I already ate lunch. I actually wouldn't mind getting a Gelati.
-Could I come with you to getting a Gelati?
-If you want to.
-Want to? A million angry octopus people couldn't hold me back!
-"Octopus people?"
-It's freezing my hands.
-This town is really going to hell lately. So what part of the city do you live in?
-I have an apartment. I don't remember exactly where. My dog knows, though.
-You have a dog? What kind?
-I'd love to have a dog. But I go to school full time. It wouldn't be fair to the dog.
-School?
-Parsons School of Design. I knew growing up I wasn't much to look at, so I put my energy into making things that are pretty.
-What's that pleasant smell coming from, your skin?
-Valerie, it feels like there's a bunch of butterflies flapping around in my stomach. Is that normal?
-Sometimes, sure.
-So you're saying, make all pants with a drawstring, then heavier set gals don't have to feel humiliated by telling their waist size in front of the whole store?
-Basically, yeah.
-You know what's nice about you? You just seem happy being yourself. You don't try to act cool.
-Thanks much. You know what's nice about you, Valerie?
-Your juicy, heart-shaped ass.
-What was that?
-Hey.
-What were you thinking coming here?
-Valerie?
-Are you dead?
-No.
-What are you doing?
-I think I'm floating.
-Why would you be floating?
-I don't know. Maybe it's because of your sweet voice.
-Look, just because you're floating doesn't mean I'm gonna forget about you giving me the finger.
-That wasn't me. I was being possessed by my brother, Adrian. He's the one who call you a gross pig.
-What do you mean, "possessed?"
-Remember when I told you my Dad was in Hell?
-Yes...
-Well, that's because he's the Devil. And he wants to keep his throne for another ten-thousand years. Which is fine with me, but not with my brothers, so they broke out of Hell, causing my dad...
-..."The Devil?"...
-You gotta believe me. You gotta believe in the butterflies.
-Can we go fly over Central Park?
-We're going to Jersey?
-I never thought I'd ever see Ozzy live until he was dead. Please tell me you like metal.
-Don't do it.
-Nicky!
-Where'd a sweet Southern boy learn to fight like that?
-Do me.
-I love you.
-Hello, friend, my name is Nicky. I understand you're seeking a roommate, as per your advertisement in the Village Voice. Would it be possible for me to fill the slot?
-Yes. What is rent?
-Eight-hundred, split down the middle. Tuesdays and Thursdays I rehearse with my scene partner so the living room will be off limits.
-Off limits.
-Right. And as far as household items: we can share the soap, but we'll split the cost 60/40. Cause the person who physically goes out and buys the soap shouldn't have to pay as much as the other guy. Aren't you boiling in that outfit?
-No.
-It's like eighty degrees in this hallway. You from the South?
-Why is that funny?
-I don't know.
-It looks like the work of a brother...
-A black guy?
-A little strange. I can't stop thinking about this girl, Valerie.
-That just hurt a lot.
-Hey...
-See something you like, my man?
-You callin' me a thief, my man?
-No, I'm just calling you... a guy who has my flask.
-And if that is your so-called "flask," how would I have it unless I was, in fact, a thief?
-Okay, now you gone and done it. You done messed with my business bitch!
-I'm a Sandman!
-I cut up a Sandman yesterday. They said I'd never get him... but I cut him up good, I did.
-For me? Better feel sorry for yourself, Sandman!
-Fourteen? Fifteen? Your days are running out. How long can you last? A year. Six months? What happens when you're sixteen and you go green?
-Nothing will happen! I make the rules as I go!! Cubs do what I say! Always have! Always will! I got Cathedral and I'll never let go!
-No cubs over fifteen, Billy! Ever heard of a cub with a green flower? You'll leave Cathedral then, Billy, when you're on green, because they won't let a green stay here. If you try to stay the young ones will gut-rip you apart!
-Are you too startled? Am I too removed from your ken? I'm neither machine nor man... but a perfect fusion of the two... and better than either. No human sculptor could match this greatness... don't you agree?
-All right -- what are you?
-We're hungry do you have anything to eat?
-How do you think we got here??!!
-Where do you think we came from?
-From? From? From?
-Hiding? Yes! Hiding, hiding.
-Is that the wind? Not yet... You must hear my birds sing.
-You know about Sanctuary! I know you do! You have to help us! You don't have a choice! It isn't your decision!! Tell us.
-Never a pair. I have never had a pair.
-Where do you send them?
-Answer the question!
-Do you know how long all this will last? Not thirty years... or thirty thousand years... but thirty thousand years... and you'll be part of it. Ages will roll... Ages. And you'll be here... the two of you... eternally frozen... frozen... beautiful.
-There must be somebody else up here. I can't believe that he's --
-Let me sculpt you and I will show you where the others have gone.
-That's better. How do you want us?
-Nude. Imagine, a pair.
-How do you want us?
-All right. Now you keep your bargain.
-Wait for the wind! Wait and hear the birds sing over you!
-How did they get in here?
-Regular storage procedure... the same as the other food... The other food stopped coming and they started.
-What other food?
-It's a real privilege, Sandman.
-Thanks. I thought you'd be older. I expected a Red.
-I am.
-Your own work?
-I designed it myself. What'll it be... a face job or a full-body job?
-Just the face.
-Do you have anything special in mind?
-I don't care... Just get it over with.
-You are here. I couldn't believe it when they told me. What are you doing?
-You should've seen me take my last Runner... perfect. I backed him up against a residence pool and when he terminated... his hand... So now you've seen him... what's the difference awake or asleep?
-Open your eyes once, idiot. It's not every day that a Sandman son is born. I'm telling you, Francis -- that's him!
-Had enough?
-You need a lift. Let's go to Arcade and celebrate... your alert successor... Logan-6.
-Has anyone ever broken in to where the babies are?
-Why?
-Just wondered... what happens?
-But you don't know, you just say what everyone says. "One for one. One for one."
-Well, why not!? That's exactly how everything works. How else could the city stay in balance -- You have a better idea?
-No, but at least I wonder sometimes -- instead of doing that "one for one" song of yours. You sound like a sleepteacher with a stuck tape.
-Did you ever see Francis-8?
-I don't know what makes you so curious. You have any idea who his seed-mother was?
-You missed something special.
-The damned Yellows are getting out of hand. Those three ought to be in Cathedral. No business scrambling in Arcade...
-You should have been with us in Nursery, Daniel. I'm positive I recognized him --
-Now there's a few who could have been his seed-mother.
-Who invited you?
-That was a great shot you made.
-I just might look in on New You 483 myself.
-You? Why? You're already beautiful.
-What the hell took you so long?
-Did you ever see anybody renew?
-I think you've been skulling out too much. First Nursery and now stupid questions.
-Did you?
-Of course.
-Anybody we know?
-Look... why don't you get into the water... you need it... more than I do.
-I'm fine... See you...
-What's going on, Logan?!
-It has nothing to do with you.
-Why did you do that??!!
-I didn't do anything, Francis! They've made us believe that...
-It's him! The first Sandman. He killed... Doc.
-No, Holly -- wait! He's running. Tell them the rest!
-He's the one. You too. I remember. He was in a hurry. Just a face job. Dark hair, I said. Then he killed Doc and you grabbed me -- and the machine blew up and I ran... I ran.
-That's right. The other one came after. The older one. Smashing, killing, burning!
-...and he was hunting the first one, this one. Wasn't he? Wasn't he? This one was running, the other one was hunting him...
-What's your name?
-I'm Mary 2.
-Where do you live, Mary?
-Here.
-Why aren't you in Nursery?
-I'm very smart.
-When do you go up?
-What's wrong, Available?
-Please... no? You mean "not here" -- that's it? You're a private Available but particular. Don't worry. There's no one here but me. And you.
-No. Just no.
-You prefer women?
-No.
-Well then...?
-Nothing. I felt sad, I put myself on the circuit. It was a mistake.
-Sad? What made you sad?
-A friend of mine went on Carousel tonight. Now he's gone.
-Yes... probably he was renewed?
-He was killed.
-Killed? Why do you use that word?
-Isn't it right? Isn't that what you do? Kill.
-I never 'killed' anybody in my life. Sandmen terminate Runners. Who brought you?
-Nobody. I felt sad... I put myself on the circuit.
-You felt sad. What's your name?
-Jessica.
-You're beautiful. Let's have sex.
-No.
-Later.
-No.
-But you put yourself on the circuit!
-I thought I had to do something.
-And?
-I changed my mind.
-And now?
-Curious.
-About what?
-Let's have sex. I thought you were curious.
-Not about that.
-I'm listening.
-I'm afraid to tell you.
-I'm not armed. Well?
-Why is it wrong to run?
-You shouldn't even think such things... And you picked a strange person to say them to --
-I suppose. But what if you want to live?
-But if you're one of the misfits... that's where I come in.
-I didn't say that I would run... I just...
-Are you a 5 or a 6?
-Six. I go red next year.
-What Quad do you live in?
-K.
-You could have called me yourself.
-But I wasn't sure you'd come.
-I couldn't get you out of my mind.
-I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, I suppose?
-Maybe... sure...
-Thanks... but I have the choice.
-Of course.
-You can have any woman in the city. What do you really want?
-You know.
-I don't believe you. There has to be more.
-Why show me?
-I'm going to run.
-Why tell me?
-You know something.
-About running, dying what?
-Both... running's what I'm interested in.
-I know what everyone knows. Try like hell for Renewal. You have the same chance everyone else has.
-It's different now. Help me.
-Where did you get that?
-A Runner gave it to me.
-And then you killed him, right?
-I let him go... believe me.
-I don't..
-Speak to your friends for me, Jessica... please...
-Please? What friends?
-I don't have much time.
-I never heard of a Sandman running... ever...
-Are you here to help me?
-What're you going to do?
-That's tomorrow.
-I wish I could help you.
-Maybe you'll think of something...
-If you did know, you'd tell me.
-Of course --
-If you trusted me, you'd know.
-A Runner... Cathedral. A woman.
-You're not going, are you?
-I'd rather be with you.
-They're like beasts. Wild.
-Maybe they're angry because they're grown in meccano-breeders.
-Instead of what? Nine months inside a woman: We're all raised the same but most of us don't become cubs in Cathedral.
-Some people say children need human mothering.
-Insane. Nurseries are better than any mother could be.
-I'm only telling you what I've heard... Haven't you ever wondered what your seed-mother was Like...?
-Uh-uh.
-I have.
-When did you begin to question Lastday?
-I don't remember exactly... except I was a Green. What would you like to relive, Logan?
-Just follow -- no matter how it seems...
-But what is this -- why?
-The Cubs. When they're flying on muscle there's no way to catch up. Without the dazzle, they'd just go past us -- -- too fast
-I'm ashamed. I was bringing you to be killed.
-Where? Sanctuary? Can you take me there?
-Logan, I don't know where Sanctuary is. But if I take you to them, they'll kill you.
-All right. But why? I didn't kill the Runner.
-Yes, but they won't know that... or care. They're hunting you, Logan. Maybe me too, now...
-That's nothing... there's a Sandman behind us, too and there'll be more soon. Take me to them.
-I -- I can't.
-Then -- why don't you leave me -- go to them -- explain
-Are you taking me to them?
-Yes. I don't know what else to do -- with him following us. Why do you keep running from your --
-Because he's my friend -- and I don't want to be killed by him -- or anyone.
-He's good, isn't he?
-Will he find us and kill us? Yes... or one of the others. You know there's only one place to go now...
-They won't believe us.
-I'd rather take my chances with them... than with Francis.
-They won't listen.
-You think Sandmen will? There's no other way for me,
-Exactly four steps now. Let me lead you. Now to the right. It's narrow here, you'll have to get behind me.
-How will they know we're coming?
-Will you take me with you?
-How do we know this is the right way?
-What do you suppose this was...?
-Some kind of breeding pens... I suppose... They say people used to breed animals, fish, anything... ...to eat, of course.
-I'm afraid.
-I don't know what's going to happen to us Logan but -- Are you glad you didn't kill him?
-It doesn't make any difference anymore.
-You're really one of us now, aren't you?
-You knew that I wasn't before, didn't you? Why did you stay with me?
-I wanted to... ...And you... what made you kill Sandmen?
-I had to. I did kill... for the first time in my life I killed.
-Because you felt like a Runner, didn't you.
-I guess so... I know I felt something I never felt before... and I didn't like it... not a bit. I'll tell you one thing... Sanctuary better be worth it. That's the last place for me to live now.
-What's that?
-It feels like breath. It makes everything move. Your hair is moving.
-I hate outside! I hate it!
-Don't!
-It's getting dark and cold. I'm tired.
-Do you think everything's going to turn to ice?
-I doubt it.
-Don't ever let go.
-It all seemed to make sense until Box.
-Maybe we're the first ones to get through... Maybe Sanctuary is near, now... another protected place. It couldn't be outside.
-You're right... it must be near now. We'll find it.
-What does it mean?
-You can have any woman in the city. What do you really want?
-You know, Jessica.
-...But I still have the choice...?
-Of course.
-I have never seen a face like that before. It must be the look of great age. Whoever he was he was terribly old.
-They all have names and numbers on them. I wonder what they are?
-Look at his face... and his hair... Is that what it is to grow old?
-That sweet madman -- how could he come to exist?
-He had a mother and father -- and he knew them.
-There's a Sanctuary... there is!
-You want there to be one... that doesn't...
-There has to be! I know it exists! It has to!!
-No, there doesn't. Not really -- just so many want it to exist... so many who don't want to die... want it so much that a place called Sanctuary becomes "real". But it doesn't exist. It never existed. Just the hope.
-What are we promising him? What can we possibly give him?
-He asked if we would bury him when his time comes.
-We can't. We're going back.
-To what?
-I'm going to try and tell people what we've seen and --
-You're lying! You'll never have the chance to tell anybody anything! You'll be killed the moment you're seen!
-Do you expect me to let things go on without trying to change them?!
-Things won't change... you know that! We can live here together, Logan... have a life as long as his... together!
-Things change!
-Jessica... listen to me... listen to me... The Lifeclocks made me kill Francis. They make people die or be killed every day. If I didn't try and destroy that... I couldn't live here or anywhere. Do you understand?
-"Beloved son"... So people stayed together for that feeling of love... They would live and raise children together and be remembered. I think I feel that way, Logan. Can we be that way?
-Yes. You and I, Jessica.
-And Sanctuary?
-Beloved husband...
-What does that water do?
-It's part of the hydrogalvanic system. The ocean tides are changed into energy somehow.
-Is it inside the city?
-Yes, cats, of course. What else could they be? Cats. Of course each one has his own name too.
-But there are so many of them. Do you know each one separately.
-And... and how were you grown? Inside your mother?
-Yes...
-Are you sure?
-What kind of jewel is this?
-I don't know.
-You're both full of secrets like Macavity. Did you steal this?
-No.
-What belongs to the people?
-All this. All of it.
-What people?
-We'll have to bury him.
-What's that?
-I'll make the arrangements.
-Of course... that's settled then. But just you remember your promise...
-Come with us.
-Goodbye.
-Hello, Sandman.
-Hello.
-We don't get many Sandmen. I think we've only had one other since I've been here.
-A Sandman can get as sick of his face as anyone else. Where's the doctor?
-I like your face. Would you mind if Doc took a picture? I'd like him to give your face to somebody else.
-It's all right with me. Is he here?
-My name's Holly... Holly 13. In ancient times they said my number was unlucky. Do you believe in luck?
-How long have you been living here?
-For as long as I can remember.
-What kind of place is this?
-How did you get here?
-I have always been here...
-Are there any other humans?
-Gracious... no.
-But there may be a few around somewhere.
-What makes you think so?
-My parents thought so. Mother and Father. You know?
-Where are they?
-They're beautiful. May I have one too please?
-No -- I'm sorry. It's not possible.
-It isn't fair. I'll give you one of my favorite cats... a Jellicle cat. "Jellicle cats have cheerful faces, Jellicle cats have bright black eyes; They like to practice their airs and graces And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise."
-What's beyond this place -- do you know?
-No, no, no
-Did your Mother or Father ever mention another place?
-May we stay here for a while? We'd like to rest.
-Are you ready to put him in?
-Not yet.
-We're leaving.
-To a city with thousands and thousands of people.
-Thousands and thousands... as many as my cats?
-More... many more.
-Is that really it? It doesn't seem very far. Will we be there soon?
-That's better than gold when it's cold.
-Thank you. Tell me -- what do those words mean? "Beloved husband"... "Beloved son"... "Beloved wife"...
-My father was the husband and my mother was the wife. "Beloved" is a word they used -- to stay together.
-Stay? They lived together all their years?
-I know... We're going to try and get in this way. I don't think you can make it.
-Oh... I did so look forward to seeing all those people.
-I'm sorry.
-Yes...
-Can you make it back?
-Break-in scanners report intrusion, identify.
-Logan-5... Francis-7, authorized duty quadrant. Intrusion accidental.
-I don't know who you are. I'd like to thank someone.
-It doesn't matter who we are. Follow the tunnel to the end.
-Someone will follow. When you come to the lock, he will tell you how to go on the other side. Jessica may go with you as far as the lock.
-Well? How do you like it?
-I don't know. The cheeks maybe... look a little --
-Cheeks? Cheeks? Right. Too much, you think?
-Too little.
-No -- just there -- on the first level. Don't look for us. We'll see you.
-You're not contagious are you?
-I don't think so.
-Good... You up for a drive?
-Just goin' up'ta "Tops"... Maybe the "Ten Pin".
-Sheila'll be at "Tops".
-Sure, what's wrong with that?
-This rod is a fuckin', embarrassment, Carl. Whatiya burn in this thing, "V"?
-Texaco... What's wrong with that?
-Listen.
-You want somethin'?
-What's happenin'?
-They're comin' with us.
-You okay, man?
-What?
-Pete... You okay?
-I'm, okay... You okay?
-Do you always sleep here?... In this room?... Both of you?
-You're a musician?
-I like to remember things my own way.
-What do you mean by that?
-Why not?
-Why not?
-Very strange.
-What is?
-Do you own a video camera?
-No.
-Maid? Relative?
-We'll see that the patrol of the house is doubled.
-How'd the camera get so high like that?
-And smooth... Almost no movement - back and forth, I mean.
-Like you'd get if it was hand held.
-Might be a good time to try using it again.
-We'll keep a watch on the house.
-As best we can.
-You don't remember being awakened? It looks like you were aware of someone.
-Has anyone made any threats to either of you recently?
-Now we'll see what this son of a bitch is up to.
-You recognize that guy?
-What a fuckin' job.
-His or ours?
-We've got Pete Dayton's prints all over this place.
-You know what I think?
-What's that, Ed?
-I was here yesterday.
-Yeah, I remember.
-How would you like to take me to dinner?
-I don't know.
-Where's your phone? I have to call another taxi.
-I want more.
-Me, too.
-Can I call you?
-Yeah... Call me at home. I'll give you the number.
-Hello.
-It's me...
-Hi.
-I can't see you tonight.
-Okay...
-I have to go somewhere with Mr. Eddy.
-Sure.
-Pete?
-Me, too.
-Hello.
-Meet me at the Starlight Motel on Sycamore... I'll be there in twenty minutes.
-He'll kill us.
-Are you positive he knows?
-I'm not positive... but... he knows.
-So what do we do?
-I don't know.
-We should stop seeing each other.
-Have you partied with him?
-You like it?
-No, honey... It was part of the deal.
-What deal?
-He works for Mr. Eddy.
-What's he do?
-He makes films for Mr. Eddy.
-Pornos.
-Yeah.
-How'd you get in with these fuckin' people?
-Pete... Don't...
-How'd it happen, Alice?
-It was a long time ago... I met someone at this place called Moke's... we became friends. He told me about a job...
-In pornos?
-You liked it.
-So, should I call Andy?
-Andy?
-That's his name... Andy. Our ticket out of here.
-I'll set it up for tomorrow night. You'll meet me at his place at eleven o'clock... Don't drive there... Take a bus... Make sure no one follows you... His address is easy to remember... It's 2224 Deep Dell Place... It's a white stucco job on the south side of the street... I'll be upstairs with Andy... The back door will be open... That leads
-Okay...
-Lemme call him now. Make sure he's not already busy tomorrow night.
-Set.
-Why are ya goin' so early?
-'Cause that's how long it's gonna take, baby.
-What if Andy tips off Mr. Eddy?
-Are you kidding?... I've got so much on Andy, it isn't funny.
-What about tonight?... Whatiya gonna do about Mr. Eddy tonight?
-I'm not goin' home tonight... I'm goin' somewhere else... To a girlfriend's house. But, we still have a coupla things to take care of...
-Are you my man?
-Yes.
-You got him.
-You all right?
-We killed him.
-You killed him.
-Alice...
-Where's the bathroom?
-Look at all this shit... I know a fence... he'll give us money and get us passports in exchange for this and the car... We can go anywhere.
-Andy, who is that guy?
-I don't know his name. He's a friend of Dick Laurent's, I think.
-Dick Laurent?
-Yes, I believe so.
-But Dick Laurent is dead, isn't he?
-I don't. I don't know him.
-Wonderful!!... Wonderful to see you, Pete. How are you?
-Feeling good, Arnie. Ready to get to work.
-Mr. Smith has been waiting for you and Mrs. Trueworthy. Can you take care of Mr. Smith now?
-Sure.
-Mr. Eddy's called every day... Can I call him to come in?
-Better.
-Arnie called this morning while you were sleepin'. They miss you pretty bad down at the garage. I told 'im you still had a "fever".
-Okay. Thanks.
-Nice to know they can't seem to get along without ya.
-Yeah.
-You really don't remember the other night, do you?
-What night is that?
-Goin' out with these clowns for a while.
-Hey.
-Sit down a minute.
-What's up?
-You don't look so good.
-I gotta headache... What's goin' on?
-The police called us.
-Yeah? what did they want?
-They wanted to know if we'd had a chance to find out what happened to you the other night. They wanted to know if you remembered anything.
-Sheila?
-Yes, there was a man with you... She brought you here... She didn't know what else to do.
-Never saw him before in my life.
-Did you tell the police this?
-We're not saying anything about that night to the police. We should all forget that night.
-Please tell me.
-A cell that was supposed to be occupied by an inmate named Fred Madison.
-The wife killer?
-His condition? What do you mean?
-His physical condition.
-Have you made any charges against him?
-No.
-Then he's coming home with his mother and me.
-Just rest easy, Pete. You're gonna be okay.
-Where's Pete?
-Out in back.
-You talk to him?
-We saw you that night, Pete.
-Repeat that, Bill.
-Warden, it's not him. It was not Fred Madison in that cell.
-Of course, it's Madison!!! Who else could it be?
-I don't know. The guards say they've never seen him before.
-Where is he now?
-He's in the infirmary, being examined.
-Did you ask him who he is?
-He... He can't talk. it appears as if he can't talk, anyway.
-If he's not Madison, then where's Madison?
-How about Madison? Have we had even a hint of his whereabouts?
-One of the guards must have leaked it.
-You just gonna let him go?
-Now, Mack, what's the situation?
-That's not Fred Madison?
-No, sir, it's not.
-Who is it?
-I couldn't say, sir... Captain Henderson?
-Yeah, Mack?
-I wouldn't know how.
-You say you haven't seen your son since the day before yesterday?
-When he went to work, right.
-What about yesterday?
-I want to see him.
-Pete, can you tell us now, anything about this?
-No... I don't feel so good. I would like some aspirin.
-Do you remember?
-What's the matter?
-We know that.
-Who is it?
-What is this, Rogoff?
-Who is this man?
-He's not Madison?
-I examined Madison last night, Marshall. He had a headache.
-A headache?
-WHAT DID YOU SAY?
-I won't ever tailgate.
-DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FUCKIN' CAR LENGTHS IT TAKES TO STOP A CAR AT 35 M.P.H.?
-No.
-SIX FUCKIN' CAR LENGTHS... THAT'S ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIX FUCKIN' FEET, MISTER! YOU WERE FOLLOWING TEN FEET BEHIND ME... IF I'D HAD TO STOP SUDDENLY, YOU WOULD HAVE HIT ME. I WANT YOU TO GET A DRIVER'S MANUAL, AND I WANT YOU TO STUDY THAT MOTHERFUCKER... AND I WANT YOU TO OBEY THE GOD DAMN RULES. FIFTY FUCKIN' THOUSAND PEOPLE WERE KILLED ON
-I'll get a manual. and study it.
-That's it.
-There's no other bedroom?
-What's your axe?
-Tenor... Tenor saxophone. Do you...
-Did you use the alarm system since we were here last?
-Something wrong?
-My... My head.
-Headache, huh? Too much sun, I guess. You want to come in? Still got forty- five minutes outside if you want it.
-What's bothering you, Madison?
-The pain is getting worse. I need more aspirin.
-What is it?
-Aspirin... fly head. I gotta have more aspirin.
-The doctor said not to give you anything. You can see him in the morning.
-We've met before, haven't we?
-I don't think so. Where was it that you think we've met?
-At your house. Don't you remember?
-No, no I don't. Are you sure?
-Of course. In fact, I'm there right now.
-What do you mean? You're where right now?
-At your house.
-Where's Alice?
-You don't mind that I'm not coming tonight?
-What are you going to do?
-It's nice to know I can still make you laugh.
-I like to laugh, Fred.
-That's why I married you.
-What's that?
-A videotape.
-Who's it from?
-I don't know... There's no return address on the envelope... In fact, there's no address on it.
-Does it say anything on the tape?
-It must be from a real estate agent.
-Good book, huh?
-Huh?... oh, yeah, it is.
-Same one you were reading the other night?
-What night?
-When you didn't come to the club.
-Oh. Oh, yeah. No. This is a different one.
-I called, you know.
-Called? When?
-From the club. You didn't answer.
-I must have fallen asleep. I was asleep when you got home, wasn't I?
-I had a dream about you last night...
-Yeah?
-You're up early.
-That dog woke me. I lay there for a while, then decided to get up.
-What's that? Another tape?
-Don't you want to watch it?
-We've got to call the police.
-So?
-We will.
-What the hell is going on?!
-What was that?!!!
-What?
-No, I don't remember anything. it looks like I... but... I don't remember.
-Where would you feel safe?
-I'll make sure the alarm is set from now on.
-I thought you were getting me a drink?
-Let's go home.
-But...
-It was a long time ago... I met him at this place called Moke's... We... became friends... He told me about a job...
-What job?
-I don't remember... Anyway, Andy's okay...
-I told you to stay in the car!
-Why? what is it? Why did you make me wait out here?
-I thought there might be somebody inside.
-Was there?
-Did you see that about the guy who chopped up his wife into a million pieces?
-How could I miss it? The TV won't quit with that stuff.
-They're gonna cook him.
-Andy's from Utah. He says there you have a choice... You can die by hanging or by firing squad.
-Andy would go for this, don't you think?... Firing squad, definitely.
-Do they aim for the head or for the heart?
-The heart, I guess.
-What happened? Somebody givin' you trouble?
-No, it's nothin'... I'm all right.
-Because if anybody's givin' you trouble, Pete, I can take care of the problem... like that.
-No, no... It's okay, Mr. Eddy.
-I mean it, Pete... Like THAT!!
-Thanks, Mr. Eddy... whatiya need? Just the regular tune-up?
-I want you to ride with me. Somethin' doesn't sound right.
-Okay... Lemme clear it with...
-Give that a try.
-Beautiful! Smooth as shit from a duck's ass. Let's take a ride.
-Sorry about that, Pete, but tailgating is one thing I can't tolerate.
-I can see that.
-I'll bet you know how many car lengths it takes to stop at... say 45 m.p.h.
-Eight, nine car lengths. A hundred and sixty-two feet.
-At sixty?
-Fifteen car lengths. About two hundred and seventy feet.
-Thanks, Mr. Eddy.
-You like pornos?
-Pornos?
-Yeah. Give ya a boner.
-Suit yourself, champ.
-Okay... Well, I'll see ya then.
-I'm leavin' the Caddy, like I told you. Think you'll get a chance to give her a once over today?
-Sure... Sure, Mr. Eddy. You gonna pick it up later, or tomorrow?
-If you think you can finish it, I'll be back later today.
-It'll be ready.
-How ya doin', Pete?
-Okay.
-Her name is Alice. You know I love that girl to death. If I ever found out somebody was makin' out with her, I'd take this... ...and shove it so far up his ass it would come out his mouth... Then you know what?...
-What?
-Hello.
-Hey, Pete... How ya doin'?
-Who is this?
-Mr. Eddy?
-Yeah... How ya doin', Pete?
-Okay.
-You're doin, okay? That's good, Pete.
-Look... It's late, Mr. Eddy... I ...
-You sure you're doin' okay? Everything all right?
-Yeah.
-I don't think so. Where was it that you think we've met?
-At your house. Don't you remember?
-No. No, I don't.
-We just killed a couple of people...
-What's goin' on?
-I missed you.
-Yeah?...
-What are you guys doin'?
-Guess we're goin' over to the "Ten Pin".
-You want some company?
-Why haven't you called me?
-What's happening to you? What happened to your face?
-I don't know.
-What do you mean?... You've been acting strange lately... Like the other night.
-What night?
-Last time I saw you.
-I don't remember... What happened that night?
-You sure weren't acting like the Pete Dayton I've always known.
-Whatiya mean?
-You still care about me?
-What else about that night?... Did anything happen?
-You really don't remember?
-No... I told you.
-It was weird...
-Whatiya mean, Sheila?
-I don't want to talk about it...
-Sheila?!
-What do you want?
-Nothin'... You want to go for a drive?
-I don't know.
-Why don't you like me?
-Where'd you come from?
-I've been here. You were lookin, right at me.
-I was?
-I didn't know you cared.
-Sheila, what is it?... What are you doin' here?
-You've been fucking somebody else haven't you?
-Sheila...
-Hey... Sheila.
-What's the BITCH'S name?!
-Look Sheila... I'm sorry...
-YOU'RE SORRY!!
-Sheila... Stop...
-Cable from Gainsford.
-Oh, read it!
-All of it?
-Yes. Might as well - all of it.
-Yes, sir.
-Conway's gone again! Run out! Listen to this! From Gainsford.
-Where's the girl? Miss Stone.
-Well, there's certainly nothing wrong with that meal!
-Not even a radio?
-What about those men we met this morning?
-Two years!?
-I beg your pardon, brother. What did you say you were hunting?
-Fossils.
-Fossils, huh?
-I'm a paleontologist.
-A what?
-A paleontologist.
-I have here a discovery that will startle the world. It's the vertebrae from the lumbar of a Megatherium,[4] found in Asia.
-Well, what do you know about that!
-Found in Asia!
-Uh-huh.
-When I get home I shall probably be knighted for it.
-Knighted! You don't say. Do you mind if I take a look at it?
-Sorry.
-This is the only thing I was able to save when those heathens surrounded me.
-Uh-huh.
-You see, from this vertebrae I shall be able to reconstruct the entire skeleton.
-Wait a minute, you expect to be knighted for finding that soupbone?
-It was the vertebrae of a Megatherium - found in Asia.
-Yeah, I remember. You said that before.
-Yes, it just shows— I don't know why I'm talking to you. I don't know you. Who are you?
-Okay, brother.
-Don't call me brother.
-Good morning, Lovey.
-I beg your pardon.
-I say, good morning, Lovey.
-I didn't care for 'sister' last night, and I don't like 'Lovey' this morning. My name is Lovett - Alexander, P.
-I see.
-I see.
-Well, it's a good morning, anyway.
-Wait a minute. Is it a good morning? Say, we're supposed to be traveling east, aren't we?
-Why, of course. Yes.
-Well, it looks to me as if we're traveling west.
-That's ridiculous.
-Is it?
-It certainly is.
-Look here—
-Any child knows how to tell direction. Any child. I don't care where the child is - in the air, on the earth, or in the sea. If you face the rising sun, your right hand is the north, and your left hand is the south—
-I always get it twisted because I'm left-handed.
-Oh, really?
-Yes.
-Well, you just reverse it. Your left hand is— What difference does it make what 'hand' you are? The north is the north!
-Uh-huh. All I know is - the sun rises in the east, and we're going away from it.
-He might have lost his way.
-Yes. And who is he ? How'd he get there?
-Left us here to rot. That's what they've done. Heroes of the newspapers!
-Where are they? Do you see them?
-Yes!
-Mr. Barnard, I do not like this place. I definitely do not like this place.
-Will you stop squawking!
-Look at me. Look at what they gave me to wear.
-Something tells me this means food. Come on!
-Yeah? If this be execution, lead me to it.
-That's what they do with cattle just before the slaughter. Fatten them.
-Uh-huh. You're a scream, Lovey.
-Some layout they got here. Did you get a load of the rooms? You couldn't do better at the Ritz.
-Don't mind Lovey. He's got the misery.
-How about you Lovey? Come on. Let's you and I play a game of honeymoon bridge.
-I'm thinking.
-Thinking? What about some double solitaire?
-As a matter of fact, I'm very good at double solitaire.
-No kidding?
-Yes.
-And say, honey, you look a million per cent better. Wholesome, kind of - and clean. You take a tip from me, and don't you ever put that stuff on your face again. Why, it's like hiding behind a mask.
-Ha, ha - who are you to be talking about a mask? What do you mean? You've been wearing a mask ever since we met you.
-Have I?
-Certainly not.
-Believe me, it's no fun. When you fellas picked me up at Baskul, they'd been on my tail for a year.
-The police?
-That's too bad. I got a half million shares. My whole foundation! And now look at me!
-colossal nerve you have sitting there and talking about it so calmly - you, the swindler of thousands of people—
-You know, that's what makes the whole thing so funny. A guy like me starts out in life as a plumber - an ordinary, everyday, slew-footed plumber - and by the use of a little brains, mind you, he builds up a gigantic institution, employs thousands of people, becomes a great civic leader. And then the crash comes - and overnight he's the biggest
-Yes.
-I don't know why I associate with you, Mr. Barnard - or Mr. Chalmers Bryant - or Mr. Embezzler - or whatever your name may be.
-Just call me Barney.
-Barney? Why should I? Never! We have nothing in common. Hmmpf, Barney! What effrontery!
-Okay, Lovey.
-And this trip to the valley. I can't imagine why I'd allow you to drag me down here. Why, we don't know anything about these people. We're not even armed!
-They're very nice people - except that they've got horns.
-Yeah. You know.
-Hey Lovey, come here! Lovey, I asked for a glass of wine and look what I got. Come on, sit down.
-So that's where you are. I might of known it. No wonder you couldn't hear me.
-You were asked to have a glass of wine. Sit down!
-And be poisoned out here in the open?
-There you are!
-—then the bears came right into the bedroom and the little baby bear said, "Oh, somebody's been sleeping in my bed." And then the mama bear said, "Oh dear, somebody's been sleeping in my bed!" And then the big papa bear, he roared, "And somebody's been sleeping in my bed!" Well, you have to admit the poor little bears were in a quandary!
-I'm going to sleep in my bed. Come on, Lovey!
-They were in a quandary, and—
-Come on, Lovey.
-Why? Why 'come on' all the time? What's the matter? Are you going to be a fuss budget all your life? Here, drink it up! Aren't you having any fun? Where was I?
-Oh my, isn't that pretty! What is it?
-Charming chap.
-Well, that's that, I guess.
-What are we going to do?
-It's better than freezing to death down below, isn't it?
-That's what I say. What do you say to a rubber of bridge? I saw some cards in the other room.
-Hey, hurry up, you slow-pokes - I'm starved!
-Yes. Unbosom yourself, Mr. Hyde.[11]
-Chalmers Bryant!
-Yeah. I though you ran this joint.
-You see? You get the idea? From this reservoir here I can pipe in the whole works. Oh, I'm going to get a great kick out of this. Of course it's just to keep my hand in, but with the equipment we have here, I can put a plumbing system in for the whole village down there. Can rig it up in no time.
-It's unbelievable.
-Think of it! In times like these.
-Say, what about that gold deal?
-Huh?
-Gold. You were going to—
-Oh - that! That can wait. Nobody's going to run off with it. Say, I've got to get busy. I want to show this whole layout to Chang. So long. Don't you take any wooden nickels.
-I say, will you have a cigarette?
-No.
-Say, you're an American, aren't you?
-Hey, what's happened to you?
-Nothing. Why?
-Look, honey. We run the pipes through here, and we connect with the main water line here.
-Pipes? Where are you going to get pipes?
-If you want me to!
-Cave, eh? Where?
-Hey - look!
-There you are! Barnard, you'd better get your things together. We're leaving.
-Leaving?
-Yes. I've just been talking with the porters. They're going to take us. We've got clothing, food, everything. Come on!
-When are you going to start?
-Right this very minute! The porters are waiting for us on the plateau. And that Chinaman thought he could stop me. Come along.
-I think I'll stick around. I'll leave with the porters on their next trip.
-You mean you don't want to go?
-Well - I'm—
-I see. You're afraid of going to jail, eh?
-Well, no. You see, I got this plumbing business—
-All right! If you insist on being an idiot, I'm not going to waste time coaxing you. How about you?
-And mine's Conway.
-How do you do?
-Where is your mad pilot?
-You will need suitable clothes for the journey. It is not particularly far, but quite difficult.
-And the wine - excellent.
-It's three thousand feet, practically straight down to the floor of the valley. The Valley of the Blue Moon, as we call it. There are over two thousand people in the Valley besides those here in Shangri-La.
-Who and what is Shangri-La? You?
-Goodness, no!
-So there are others?
-Oh, yes.
-Who, for instance?
-For a man who talks a great deal, it's amazing how unenlightening you can be.
-There are some things, my dear Conway, I deeply regret I may not discuss.
-You know, that's the fourth time you've said that today. You should have a record made of it.
-By the way, what religion do you follow here?
-To put it simply, I should say that our general belief was in moderation. We preach the virtue of avoiding excesses of every kind, even including— —the excess of virtue itself.
-That's intelligent.
-We find, in the Valley, it makes for better happiness among the natives. We rule with moderate strictness and in return we are satisfied with moderate obedience. As a result, our people are moderately honest and moderately chaste and somewhat more than moderately happy.
-How about law and order? You have no soldiers or police?
-Oh, good heavens, no!
-How do you deal with incorrigibles? Criminals?
-Why, we have no crime here. What makes a criminal? Lack, usually. Avariciousness, envy, the desire to possess something owned by another. There can be no crime where there is a sufficiency of everything.
-You have no disputes over women?
-Only very rarely. You see, it would not be considered good manners to take a woman that another man wanted.
-Suppose somebody wanted her so badly that he didn't give a hang if it was good manners or not?
-Well, in that event, it would be good manners on the part of the other man to let him have her.
-That's very convenient. I think I'd like that.
-But Mr. Chang, all these things - books, instruments, sculpture - do you mean to say they were all brought in over those mountains by porters?
-They were.
-Well, it must have taken–
-Centuries.
-Centuries! Where did you get the money to pay for all those treasures?
-That would suit me perfectly. I'm always broke. How did you pay for them?
-Our Valley is very rich in a metal called gold, which fortunately for us is valued very highly in the outside world. So we merely . . .
-—buy and sell?
-Buy and - sell? No, no, pardon me, exchange .
-I see. Gold for ideas. You know Mr. Chang, there's something so simple and naive about all of this that I suspect there has been a shrewd, guiding intelligence somewhere. Whose idea was it? How did it all start?
-That, my dear Conway, is the story of a remarkable man.
-Who?
-A Belgian priest by the name of Father Perrault, the first European to find this place, and a very great man indeed. He is responsible for everything you see here. He built Shangri-La, taught our natives, and began our collection of art. In fact, Shangri-La is Father Perrault.
-When was all this?
-Oh, let me see - way back in 1713, I think it was, that Father Perrault stumbled into the Valley, half frozen to death. It was typical of the man that, one leg being frozen, and of course there being no doctors here, he amputated the leg himself.
-He amputated his own leg?
-Yes. Oddly enough, later, when he had learned to understand their language, the natives told him he could have saved his leg. It would have healed without amputation.
-Well, they didn't actually mean that.
-Yes, yes. They were very sincere about it too. You see, a perfect body in perfect health is the rule here. They've never known anything different. So what was true for them they thought would naturally be true for anyone else living here.
-Well, is it?
-Rather astonishingly so, yes. And particularly so in the case of Father Perrault himself. Do you know when he and the natives were finished building Shangri-La, he was 108 years old and still very active, in spite of only having one leg?
-108 and still active?
-You're startled?
-Oh, no. Just a little bowled over, that's all.
-Forgive me. I should have told you it is quite common here to live to a very ripe old age. Climate, diet, mountain water, you might say. But we like to believe it is the absence of struggle in the way we live. In your countries, on the other hand, how often do you hear the expression, "He worried himself to death?" or, "This
-Very often.
-And very true. Your lives are therefore, as a rule, shorter, not so much by natural death as by indirect suicide.
-That's all very fine if it works out. A little amazing, of course.
-Why, Mr. Conway, you surprise me!
-I surprise you? Now that's news.
-I mean, your amazement. I could have understood it in any of your companions, but you - who have dreamed and written so much about better worlds. Or is it that you fail to recognize one of your own dreams when you see it?
-Mr. Chang, if you don't mind, I think I'll go on being amazed - in moderation, of course.
-One moment. You say the High Lama is the only one who can give us any information?
-The only one.
-And he can arrange for the porters to take us back?
-The High Lama arranges everything, Mr. Conway.
-Yes. I'm afraid it does.
-Shall we have another?
-Charming, isn't she?
-Yes, charming.
-Your brother seems quite fascinated by her.
-Why not? She's an attractive young woman.
-Young? She arrived here in 1888. She was 20 at the time. She was on her way to join her betrothed - when her carriers lost their way in the mountains. The whole party would have perished but for meeting some of our people.
-Amazing! She still doesn't look over 20. When is she likely to grow old in appearance?
-Not for years. Shangri-La will keep her youthful indefinitely.
-Suppose she should leave it?
-Leave Shangri-La! That's not likely. You couldn't drive her out.
-No, I mean about her appearance. If she should leave the valley - what would happen?
-Oh, she'd quickly revert in her appearance to her actual age.
-It's weird. Chang, how old are you?
-You must prevail upon him not to attempt the journey. He could never get through that country alive.
-What do you want?
-I've offered you some warm broth. I thought perhaps-
-Please calm yourself. You'll soon be well if you do.
-I don't need any advice from you! Get me a doctor!
-I'm sorry, but we have no doctors here.
-No doctors? That's fine. That's just fine.
-Please let me help you.
-Sure, you can help me! You can help me jump over that cliff! I've been looking and looking at the bottom of that mountain, but I haven't got the nerve to jump!
-You shouldn't be looking at the bottom of the mountain. Why don't you try looking up at the top sometimes?
-Of course, the porters will be very well paid - that is, within reason.
-I'm afraid that wouldn't help. You see, we have no porters here.
-No porters here!!
-What exactly do you mean by "almost any time now"?
-You know, it's very, very strange, but when you saw me in the corridor, I was actually on my way to you. I bring the most amazing news. The High Lama wishes to see you, Mr. Conway.
-Amazing, Mr. Chang. This place is amazing! And that marble quarry in the valley is simply magnificent. Oh, I've looked around. I've seen everything. Your woodworkers and your cloth-weavers - they all seem so very, very happy.
-Yes.
-You may not know it, Mr. Chang, but right here you have Utopia.[15]
-You've very kind Mr. Lovett.
-I don't mean it in that sense. I only give credit where credit is due. Er, Mr. Chang, I'm very anxious to have you realize that I never for a moment believed that ridiculous kidnapping story.
-Oh, I'm so glad.
-Simply preposterous. Do you know what I did last night? Last night, Mr. Chang, I held a sort of a self- inventory. I said to myself last night, Mr. Chang, I said, "Lovey"— Mr. Lovett! "Mr. Lovett," I said, "you are an ungrateful fool . . . "
-Why, no.
-"Ungrateful fool . . . !" Those were my very words to myself last night. "Here are these people in Shangri-La doing everything in their power to make our stay comfortable and happy and I haven't done one single thing to show my appreciation."
-Now, what would you like to do?
-Well, Mr. Chang, I thought, with your permission of course, and while I'm waiting for these porters, I would like to organize classes for those children in the valley and teach them something practical and something useful. Geology.
-Splendid!
-Isn't it? Isn't it! You know I was a professor for twenty years? - and a very good one.
-I'm sure you were. When would you like to start?
-Oh, immediately.
-Then it's done.
-Oh, thank you. Thank you!
-We were just going to bury him when you came along.
-In that event, we better make arrangements to get some porters immediately. Some means to get us back to civilization.
-Are you so certain you are away from it?
-As far away as I ever want to be.
-Oh, yes. There is a tribe of porters some five hundred miles from here. That is our only contact with the outside world. Every now and again, depending upon favorable weather of course, they make the journey.
-How can we get in touch with them?
-The High Lama is the only one from whom any information can come.
-A fine trick! Smart, aren't you? What a pack of lies you told us about those porters! Of course the minute they arrive, we can make arrangements to leave. If they take us. But you knew very well you'd tell them not to!
-Now, my dear boy. You shouldn't—
-It's all your fault! It was all arranged until he spoke to you! Why can't you leave us alone?
-Do you mean to tell me you want to leave Shangri-La?
-I'll die if I have to stay here another minute! I've waited a long time for this chance to go, and you're not going to stop me now. If I have to, I'll go alone. It was I who bribed the porters. If it weren't for me, you'd never get out!
-I thought the porters had instructions from the High Lama not to take anyone.
-The High Lama? Who pays any attention to him? The porters laugh at the High Lama. All they want to know is how much gold he will give them. Well, I gave them more gold. I've been stealing it for a year. I'd do anything to get out of this place. To get away from that High Lama - the one who calls himself
-Father Perrault is dead.
-He's dead? That's fine. You won't see me shedding any tears over him! Oh George, you must take me with you!
-Aren't you afraid to leave? You don't want to look like an old woman, do you?
-Old woman? Chang told you that, didn't he?
-Yes.
-You're lying, aren't you?
-Are you taking me?
-No, I can't! I can't! You've got to let me rest! You've got to let me rest!
-Sit here, near me. I am an old man and can do no one any harm.
-Are you the High Lama?
-I trust you have been comfortable at Shangri-La, since your arrival.
-It's astonishing - and incredible, but—
-What is it, my son?
-You're the man Chang told me about! You're the first - who - two hundred years ago— —you're still alive, Father Perrault!
-That Conway seemed to belong here. In fact, it was suggested that someone be sent to bring him here.
-That I be brought here? Who had that brilliant idea?
-Sondra Bizet.
-Oh, the girl at the piano?
-Yes. She has read your books and has a profound admiration for you, as have we all.
-Of course I have suspected that our being here is no accident. Furthermore, I have a feeling that we're never supposed to leave. But that, for the moment, doesn't concern me greatly. I'll meet that when it comes. What particularly interests me at present is, why was I brought here? What possible use can I be to an already thriving community?
-We need men like you here, to be sure that our community will continue to thrive. In return for which, Shangri-La has much to give you. You are still, by the world's standards, a youngish man. Yet in the normal course of existence, you can expect twenty or thirty years of gradually diminishing activity. Here, however, in Shangri- La, by our standards your life
-But to be candid, Father, a prolonged future doesn't excite me. It would have to have a point. I've sometimes doubted whether life itself has any. And if that is so, then long life must be even more pointless. No, I'd need a much more definite reason for going on and on.
-Yes, of course, your brother is a problem. It was to be expected.
-I knew you'd understand. That's why I came to you for help.
-You must not look to me for help. Your brother is no longer my problem. He is now your problem, Conway.
-Mine?
-I have waited for you, my son, for a long time. I have sat in this room and seen the faces of newcomers. I have looked into their eyes and heard their voices - always in hope that I might find you . My friend, it is not an arduous task that I bequeath, for our order knows only silken bonds. To be gentle
-Bob! I think I hear motors!
-Colonel, wait a minute, they may be here now! Say George, get down on that field and guide those planes in when they get here.
-And be sure that none of the natives get in.
-Yes.
-The power house - they've blown it up! The planes can't land without lights.
-All right, go ahead! We go on to the next plane. Bring out any people that are left.
-Bob, these are all that are left.
-The next time you're in wild country like this, keep in touch with the British Consul.
-Just what I needed too.
-You?
-Hurray!
-How I'm going to bask in reflected glory! People are going to point to me and say, "There goes George Conway - brother of the Foreign Secretary."
-Hello, Freshie. Did you make that report out yet?
-Yes, Bob.
-Did you say we saved ninety white people?
-Yes.
-Hurray for us. Did you say that we left ten thousand natives down there to be annihilated? No, you wouldn't say that. They don't count.
-You'd better try to get some sleep, Bob.
-Don't worry, George. Nothing's going to happen. I'll fall right into line. I'll be the good little boy that everybody wants me to be. I'll be the best little Foreign Secretary we ever had, just because I haven't the nerve to be anything else.
-Do try to sleep, Bob.
-Oh, stop it!
-George, what are you going to do?
-What are these people?
-Oh George, come on.
-What is it? Has he fainted?
-He's dead.
-What is it?
-See that spot?
-Yes.
-That's where we were this morning. He had it marked. Right on the border of Tibet. Here's where civilization ends. We must be a thousand miles beyond it - just a blank on the map.
-What's it mean?
-Hello, George. Cigarette?
-Thanks. I suppose all this comes under the heading of adventure.
-We've had plenty of it the last few days.
-It's far from over, from what I can see. This place gives me the creeps, hidden away like this - no contact with civilization. Bob, you don't seem concerned at all.
-Oh, I'm feeling far too peaceful to be concerned about anything. I think I'm going to like it here.
-You talk as though you intend on staying.
-Something happened to me, when we arrived here, George, that - well - did you ever go to a totally strange place, and feel certain that you've been there before?
-What are you talking about?
-I don't know.
-Don't you ever want to see what's on the other side of the hill?
-What could there be except just another hill? In any event, I'm not curious. At the moment, it seems to me we should be concerned about getting home. I'd give anything to be in London right now.
-Of course you would. If ever we get out of this place, the thing for you to do is to take that job with Helen's father.
-What do you mean if we should get out?
-Did I say "if"?
-That's what you said.
-Well - I mean—
-What's on your mind, Bob? You talk as though we're going to have trouble getting out of here.
-George, I've been putting things together. Do you notice the resemblance between those natives and the pilot? And why did those clothes materialize so conveniently when they met us at the plane? Chang himself just said that they never venture beyond that point. What brought them there? Unless it was to meet us?
-Chang's first question was about the pilot.
-Uh-huh.
-There must be some connection between the plane and this place. They must have deliberately brought us here. Why, Bob? What reason could they have for doing a thing like that?
-Well - I heard that if you want a man's wife, she's yours, if he's got any manners.
-Nothing about the porters yet?
-Porters?
-Good heavens, Bob, we've been here two weeks and we haven't found out a thing.
-Well, we haven't been murdered in our beds yet, George, have we?
-I'm afraid the porters are just a myth. I guess we never will know why we're here, or how long we're going to be held prisoners.
-George, what do you think you're doing?
-George, come back!
-Let me up! Let me up!
-What about the porters?
-Porters?
-Didn't you find out anything about the porters?
-For heaven's sake, Bob, what's the matter with you? You went out there for the purpose of—
-George - you're behaving like a child. You haven't opened your mouth in two weeks.
-I said we're getting out of here. Back to civilization. I made a deal with the porters. They brought in a load of books or something, and they're leaving tomorrow at dawn. They're waiting for us five miles outside the valley. Come on, get your things together. Where's your top coat?
-You can't leave, George.
-Why not? What's going to stop me?
-You mustn't. You've got to stay here now.
-Something grand and beautiful, George. Something I've been searching for all my life. The answer to the confusion and bewilderment of a lifetime. I've found it, George, and I can't leave it. You mustn't either.
-I don't know what you're talking about. You're carrying around a secret that seems to be eating you up. If you'll only tell me about it.
-Well, I - I really don't know what to say. Except that you must be completely mad.
-So you think I'm mad?
-What else can I think after a tale like that? Good heavens, Bob, things like that don't happen today. We're living in the twentieth century.
-So you think it's all nonsense, huh?
-I think you've been hypnotized by a lot of loose-brained fanatics. Why, I wouldn't believe it if I heard it in an English monastery. Why should I swallow it here in Tibet? How do you know the things they told you are true? Did they show you any proof?
-I don't need any proof.
-I knew there was a reason I hated this place. I'd give half my life to fly over it with a load of bombs just for what they've done to you. How do you know the things they told you are true? Did they show you any proof? All this talk about the Lamas being hundreds of years old. How do you know? Did
-Is that all my story meant to you?
-What else could it mean to me? It's obviously a lot of bunk.
-Then you'd better go, George. This is no place for you.
-It's no place for you, Bob. Think of what's waiting for you. Do you want to stay here until you're half dead? Until your mind starts corroding like the rest of them?
-Please, George. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
-You've got to talk about it. What about me? You said they stole that plane to bring you here. I didn't want to come. You owe me some responsibility.
-I'm tired of owing you things. You're free to go. Go ahead.
-It's that girl - that girl has twisted and turned—
-Look here, Bob, Ever since I can remember, you've looked after me. Now I think you're the one that needs looking after. I'm your brother, Bob. If there's something wrong with you, let me help you.
-Oh, George . . .
-Besides, I - I don't feel like making that trip alone, Bob.
-George, you couldn't possibly stay here, could you?
-I'd go mad!
-George, I may be wrong, I may be a maniac. But I believe in this, and I'm not going to lose it. You know how much I want to help you, but this is bigger, stronger if you like than brotherly love. I'm sorry, George. I'm staying.
-George, are you sure of the porters? About their taking care of you, I mean?
-Oh yes. It's all set. Maria made the arrangements.
-Maria?
-Yes, the little Russian girl.
-What's she got to do with it?
-You can't take her away from here!
-Why not?
-Because you can't. Do you know what will happen to her if she leaves Shangri-La? She's a fragile thing that can only live where fragile things are loved. Take her out of this valley and she'll fade away like an echo.
-What do you mean - "fade away like an echo"?
-This would be funny - if it wasn't so pathetic. Why, she isn't a day over twenty!
-You're wrong, George.
-So everyone is serenely happy in Shangri-La? Nobody would ever think of leaving? It's all just so much rot! She's pleaded with me ever since I came here to take her away from this awful place. She's cried in my arms for hours, for fear I'd leave her behind. And what's more, she's made two trips to the plateau to bribe the porters -
-I don't believe it! I don't believe a word of it!
-She was kidnapped and brought here two years ago just as we were, Bob.
-You say the porters are waiting for us?
-Yes.
-The clothes?
-Yes, everything!
-What about the others?
-I've already asked them. They're afraid to make the trip. We'll have to send an expedition back after them.
-Lucky thing for me you snapped out of it, too. You saved my life. I never could have made it alone.
-What was that?
-was saying—
-Bob, can't you get them to wait for us? They're leaving us farther behind every day.
-Target practice again! One of these days they're going to hit us.
-Where did you come from?
-I'm Alexander P. Lovett, sir.
-Where were you hiding?
-Hiding? Oh, no. Hunting - I was in the interior - hunting fossils. This morning I looked up suddenly—
-No. That's not possible! If we had landed, we all would have been awakened.
-Of course. We never left the air. I know - I didn't sleep the whole night long.
-That fellow got on at Baskul.
-Good.
-What if he refuses?
-We'll smash his face in. That's what we'll do.
-I guess we're in for it.
-In for what?
-I don't know. He must have had some purpose in taking the plane away from Fenner. When he lands, we'll find out.
-You mean to tell me you're not going to do anything until we land?
-What do you suggest?
-Why, you - you— Look here - he may dash us to pieces!
-Imagine having all that fuel there, waiting for us! George, something tells me our journey is just beginning.
-Huh? I give it up. But this not knowing where you're going is exciting anyway.
-At the mercy of a mad pilot.
-Oh, please. I hope you're not going to run away this time.
-My name's Sondra.
-You know, each time I see you, I hear that music. What is it?
-Was this your idea?
-Yes. Hold this pigeon.
-You suggested my being brought here, didn't you? What gave you the idea I'd fit in?
-That was easy. I read your books.
-Oh, you've read my books. You do more things! What have my books got to do with it?
-I saw a man whose life was empty.
-A man whose life was empty!
-As a matter of fact, all I saw was a little boy whistling in the dark.
-A little boy whistling in the dark!? Do you realize that there is a British cruiser waiting at Shanghai, smoke pouring out of its funnels, tugging at its moorings, waiting to take Mr. Conway back to London? Do you know that at this minute there are headlines shrieking all over the world the news that Conway is missing? Does that look like a man
-Yes.
-I really only brought you here to show you my pigeons!
-There are so many questions I'd like to ask you, I hardly know where to begin.
-I'll help you. To begin with, you'd like to know what I'm doing here. Whether I was born here.
-Thank you.
-Well, I was almost born here. It took place in that wild country beyond the pass. My father and mother were in a party of explorers who got lost and wandered around for a year. When Chang found us, only Father and I were alive. But he was too weak to climb the pass. He died on the way. I was brought up here
-Father Perrault! I envy you. I talked to him last night.
-Yes, I know.
-I'm thirty.
-What is?
-All of it. Father Perrault and his magnificent history. This place, hidden away from the rest of the world, with its glorious concepts, and now you come along and confuse me entirely.
-I'm sorry. I thought I was to be the light. But why do I confuse you? Am I so strange?
-On the contrary, you're not strange. And that in itself is confusing. I have the same idea about Shangri- La. The sense that I've been here before, that I belong here.
-I'm so glad.
-I can't quite explain it, but everything is somehow familiar. The very air that I breathe. The Lamasery, with its feet rooted in the good earth of this fertile valley, while its head explores the eternal. All the beautiful things I see, these cherry blossoms, you - all somehow familiar. I've been kidnapped and brought here against my will. A crime, a great crime,
-Perhaps because you've always been a part of Shangri-La without knowing it.
-I wonder.
-I'm sure of it. Just as I'm sure there's a wish for Shangri-La in everyone's heart. I have never seen the outside world. But I understand there are millions and millions of people who are supposed to be mean and greedy. Yet I just know that secretly they are all hoping to find a garden spot where there is peace and security, where there's
-Beautiful! I'm waiting for the bump.
-Bump?
-Ouch!
-You see, it's not a dream.
-You know, sometimes I think that it's the other that's the dream. The outside world. Have you never wanted to go there?
-Goodness, no. From what you tell me about it, it certainly doesn't sound very attractive.
-It's not so bad, really. Some phases are a little sordid, of course. That's only to be expected.
-Why?
-Oh, the usual reasons. A world full of people struggling for existence.
-Struggling, why?
-Well, everybody naturally wants to make a place for himself, accumulate a nest egg, and so on.
-Why?
-You know, if you keep on asking that, we're not going to get anywhere. And don't ask me why.
-I was just going to.
-It's the most annoying word in the English language. Did you ever hear a child torture his parent with it? Mother's little darling musn't stick her fingers in the salad bowl. Why? Because it isn't lady- like to do that. Why? Because that's what forks are made for, darling.
-Why, mother?
-Would you like to wring my little neck?
-I'd love it!
-I've thought about it for years. I knew you'd come. And I knew if you did - you'd never leave. Am I forgiven for sending for you?
-It would serve you right if you were left behind.
-Couldn't you arrange to make a little less noise?
-I tell you, we're going west, and Shanghai is east of here!
-Be quiet! Fenner's the best pilot in China. He knows what he's doing.
-What do you want him to do?
-What is it?
-Why, he's speaking English.
-Now that dinner is over, if you'll excuse us, we're very anxious to discuss ways and means of getting back home.
-That's what I mean - mysterious. Mr. Conway, I don't like that man. He's too vague.
-How about you? Do you want to go?
-Go? Where?
-Home. Away from here. I've got porters to take us back.
-Oh, my dear boy, I'm sorry. That's impossible. Why, I have my classes all started.
-I don't care what you've got started. Do you want to go?
-Well - no - I think I'd better wait. Yes, yes. I will. I'll wait.
-You'll wait till you rot!
-EXCUSE ME–
-You promised to come for tea yesterday. I waited for so long.
-I'm sorry. I haven't even got any cigarettes left!
-I'll make some for you! You will come today?
-Perhaps.
-Please say you will. The days are so very long and lonely without you. Please . . .
-All right, I'll be there.
-Thank you.
-The hell happened?
-Hesitated, sir.
-You shot an eight year old girl.
-Uh... yes. Apparently I did, air.
-The hell were you thinking?
-Well, I dunno. I mean, when you looked at all the other options... it just seemed sorta obvious.
-Sir, before you boot me, I just want to explain. I mean, okay, you got a goat-guy with a hook for a head...
-Cowan--
-Wait. Uh-- sir. Please. Anyway. Hook-head-guy. I'm thinking "how can he think with a hook for a head?" Answer: that's not his head. Then I think--
-Cowan--
-of course not, cause his head is that thing way on the other side of the road, cause, if you looked at it, the entire sidewalk full of stuff was actually ONE GUY and--
-Yes. That's true. Actually, at this point, I just want A job. Wait. What do you mean... yet?
-So... this door. It's... not an exit... ?
-...touch that.
-What the hell...
-Kids' game a couple galaxies over.
-I guess I lost:
-We have one motto: Peace on Earth.
-And Goodwill Toward Man?
-No. just peace on Earth.
-Once I thought the biggest thing I'll ever do was guard the president.
-It's easy. You work your way up the secret service, one day stand with the President, meet the most important people on the planet, fulfill your dreams, live happily ever after.
-And if I say yes?
-... think that maybe my supervisors referred me here because of certain issues which I assure you I have spent a good deal of time working very hard to correct--
-Your supervisors have no idea why you're here.
-They don't?
-What's so funny, cadet Cowan?
-Well... you know, when you say "normal," what, exactly...
-For instance... It says here you lost your parents at 15, and, since then...
-Sir. I thought those records were sealed.
-You think we're nuts.
-No-- it makes sense. Cause I gotta tell ya, when I was in third grade they told me I was crazy cause I swore that our teacher was from, like, Venus or something.
-Only the damn guy won't know it.
-From now on, you'll respond only to the name "Jay." You'll dress in appropriate attire specially sanctioned by the INS Special Services. You're not to stand out in any way. Understand?
-Everybody, listen up: we've had a tremendous amount of movement lately. Be aware. Be safe. Have a good day. Oh, uh... Cowan?
-Hell of an assistant, isn't he? Damn guy moves so fast, he actually gets there before you even ask for him.
-Sorta literally gets ahead of himself.
-So... wait. You just asked... but he goes so fast, he actually brought what you asked for before you asked for it.
-His physics are a little different than ours. Don't worry
-It'll make sense later?
-Sorry, Cowan, I found out literally just before the ceremony.' Apparently you're to report for further review.
-Further... what are you talking about, air? That makes no sense-- I hold three cadet class records--
-Bull... loney- Sir. I'm sorry. Sir, I'm sorry. Sir. I just, I find it hard to believe that it didn't come from you. I mean, everything here comes from you.
-Well this didn't.
-Look. I don't know why. I could guess, however. Maybe it's your attitude. Or that you're not even close to a team player. Or that you always seen to think you know more than your supervisors.
-Actually, sir--
-Cowan. Do you ever think that maybe, just maybe, other people might be right and you might be wrong?
-All the time, sir.
-You do?
-Which do you have your money on, Dee?
-I'd go with number three.
-Mikey. Hold it, Mikey-- I want you to talk to me. Mikey. I'm telling you.. don't make me... Mikey Gimme the 140.
-Oh. Shit. it's in the car--
-Little more burn on the perimeter-they weren't roasting smores here. Dig out this hole a little. Cmon, I know it's late, but the sooner we get it right, the sooner we'll all be home.
-Kay, I'm sorry...
-Kay, listen, I dunno what got into--
-I wasn't scared...
-Grab the coffee, will ya? I told Zed I'd give him a buzz.
-Listen-- do me a favor-- don't mention the 140 thing--
-Helluva night, isn't it?
-'Hell, I may as well do something useful.
-Dee, you've been useful for 50 years. We're clueless, you're tired. Why don't you go home and get some rest.
-Dee. God damn it. I told you to go home.
-We'll take it from here.
-What? Who the hell are you?
-Vayanse. You others, go on.
-Sir--
-Pasen al-furgon v larguense de aqui! Take the van and go.
-Sir, you can't just--
-This is a neurelyser. it was a gift from some friends from out of town. I need you to look at it. This red eye here isolates and measures the nature of the electronic impulses currently in your brain. More specifically, the ones -for memory, which it will then block. I said I need you to look right here.
-Why? What are you gonna do?
-Underground gas vein. Next time, be more careful when you shoot off your guns.
-What?
-Well, how about if I guess, then? Black: Vast space. Deep. Spiritual. The essence of infinity.
-We wear black.
-The point is to not call attention to ourselves.
-It's a bug.
-Right.
-So... lemme get this straight. We got the use of all sorts of technology from all sorts of other planets. We got information no one else in the world is privy to. And we're in a 1986 Ford LTD about to go look at an insect?
-So what's the problem?
-I tell you, if we really wanted to bland in, that'd what we'd be wearing. I think it'd be a good look for you, too. I'll even help you choose a tattoo.
-It's the way we do it. The way we've always done it.
-I know, but we're on a college campus...
-I think she's the alien. In any case, she's clearly spent my too much time alone in this room.
-Keep her out of here while I check it out.
-I'm just saying it was cold. I think she kind of liked me.
-She didn't even know you. .
-I know, that's usually the only time I actually have a shot. And what if I wanted to see her again? I'd have to completely re-introduce myself.
-Such a shame, too. Cause you made such a good impression the first time.
-Hey, I was workin' her. I was workin' my thing.
-Just so I understand... you're "thing" is... acting like an idiot? Or is it actually being an idiot? Besides--
-I know, I know. I read the manual. No attachments. We work alone. Blah. blah.
-If you don't have anyone to tell, you won't tell anyone. Believe me, you get used to it.
-I think you're too used to it. If you ask me, you've been doing this job too long.
-You don't know the half of it.
-What'd you do before this, anyway? Wait-- let me guess. Ice sculpture? Rock?
-I taught kindergarten.
-Ha ha. No, really.
-Well, one thing's for sure. You could certainly lighten up.
-Why?
-Why? Well, it wouldn't hurt you to have a little more fun. I know I don't know you all that well, but--
-You don't know me at all.
-Kay, um... how, uh, fast does this thing actually go ... ?
-What?
-Something seem unusual to you about that?
-Uh... you mean... a family of sixeyed, red-faced space creatures travelling to New Mexico to have dinner with their cousins, the invertebrates? Seemed pretty god damned ordinary to me.
-If it was just a meal, why did they have so much luggage?
-I dunno. Maybe it was baby supplies, Kay starts the car, starts to pull a U-turn.
-what's this?
-Well, Mr. Intuition... When the neighbors report screaming and we hear nothing but silence, what does that lead you to believe?
-I guess it's simple, huh? They're either gone... or dead.
-Or someone has a nitrogenizer.
-Now what?
-A signazoid's eleven thousand pounds. I think we'd know if held left.
-Then wouldn't we also know if he's here?
-He's a slimy little slithering scumwad is what he is.
-There's gotta be a hundred pawn shops in downtown Philadelphia. I take it there's a reason we're going to this one.
-Something's wrong here.
-Gee. You really think?
-Jeebs is eager to have me deport him. But would rather kill himself than go downtown. Why?
-I dunno. Why did that family need all their luggage for a dinner?.
-Why did Mikey leave Nazca?
-And what's this ... ?
-Looks like a train ticket.
-What's going on, Kay?
-I don't want to rattle you, but Dee was here for the War of the Worlds.
-The radio show?
-No. The aliens organized, all of them, and tried a coup. They made it seem like a radio show afterwards.
-You think that's what's-happening?
-Ernie Goose? Cynthia?
-Jesus...
-Jesus Christ...
-Where's it coming? Where's he landing?
-"Perhaps we shoulld take a lesson from our dinosaurs..."
-Oh, yeah? Fill us in, why don't you.
-What if he's telling the truth?
-Kay--
-He's here to help!?
-Yes. Well, in his own mind, yeah. What if, from his point of view, he is?
-How does that help me?
-Great. Fine. Listen, why don't we call the pentagon, maybe they'll take you back with the new age well wishers. I'll stay here and go extinct with the dinosaurs.
-Kay. All I'm saying--
-I know what you're saying. And I'm telling you I don't trust him--
-I know you don't trust him. You don't trust anybody--
-Cause I've been doing this thirty years and if I don't know when something doesn't feel right by now--
-What are you doing?
-Since how long?
-Maybe they didn't get here. Maybe they've been here.
-We saw it in the office. It went from this big... to big... in a day.
-It's marble.
-Would you call this a code 100?
-I'm going to try and cut him off at the hotel. You guys get to the Memorial. Keep this stuff hidden. The last thing we need is some over-zealous Secret Service twirp to...
-Do his job.
-Wow... this one's cool. And it looks just like a shotgun.
-Actually, it is a shotgun. Hold onto it--
-in case I need it?
-Do IT! SHOOT HIM!
-You were saying?
-After I got the shit beat out of me!
-And I almost got digested. It goes with the job.
-You coulda told me what you were doing.
-Who's she gonna tell, anyway? She only hangs out with dead people.
-Not her. Me. They're beautiful, aren't they? The stars. I never just look anymore and they're beautiful.
-Kay, you're scaring your partner.
-I haven't been training a partner -- I've been training a replacement.
-I'm just wondering what's so great out there that everyone's trying to get to it?
-Or what's no horrible down here that everyone's trying to avoid It?
-Yeah. His dream and our worst nightmare.
-Sure.
-I put word out-- you know how long it takes to get the signals across.
-So, I guess you could say you're really into insects...
-Or when someone has a hideous birthmark and all you do is stare. I really like that. Let the other girls have the guys like you. Chiseled jaw, perfect nose, quirky dimples. I find you all so boring.
-So... how'd you hear about this?
-Oh, yeah, well, you know. I'm a big fan. I've read all your work.
-Right, right-- I like that stuff.
-With exclusionary frecto-inhibitors?
-Exactly. I very much enjoy that.
-Once-- just once-- I thought I'd made the discovery of a lifetime...
-It's hard to find. It's an old civil war cemetery. Nobody ever goes there. So... what is it you say you do?
-I guess you could say we're entopologists of a sort.
-I don't think so. I mean, him, he could be a scientist, maybe. But you... Exterminator, I'd understand. But entopolgist? No way.
-Why not?
-I swear to God, that was not here two days ago...
-What is it?
-It's the most amazing insect nest I've ever seen. And I'll tell you one thing, it sure as hell ain't the Andean Mollatoosa.
-But it's definitely a nest, isn't it?
-When?
-It would've had to have been recently-- within a few weeks.
-What do we do?
-What do we do? Lean into it.
-What the hell does that mean?
-Is it my eyes... or is that thing a little...
-Okay. If you've got a bug problem-a big one. And they're swarming and there's no way to shoot them all individually... how do you get rid of them?
-The only thing I could think of would be... you'd have to get rid of the queen.
-What if you have the foggiest clue as to where the queen is?
-What are you doing?
-They respond to fear, right?
-Yeah ... ?
-What a coincidence, cause I was just thinking about you, too, Jack. Recognize this?
-No.
-The kid looked desperate. I figured...
-You figured what?
-Your licence is revoked. Permanently.
-And I'm arranging deportation papers.
-Yes. Yes, that's eminently fair of you.
-Let's go, Jeebs. Downtown.
-Pardon me. I hate to break up this lovely little group hug, but we people aren't ready for what we have. How is this going to help?
-How could it not?
-Why don't you ask the Mosebacke? Brazil. Until 44 years ago they ate with their hands, lived in huts, and didn't even know the rest of the world existed. 44 years ago a well intentioned missionary gave them a fork. Today, they don't exist.
-Come on now. People are smart.
-Not bad. Briliiant, actually. You come unarmed, and alone. Cause your army's been growing underground for what? 100 years? 150?
-Goodwill...
-Nowhere.
-Er. well, nowhere special.
-I don't believe you, Mikey. And you know why I don't believe you? Cause last time you said that you and your pals left eight dozen empty beer cans on the other side of the moon.
-Oh yeah? Well if you're suddenly such a good samaritan, why didn't you file a departure report, like you're supposed to? You know how many rules you've just broken?
-I dunno. One?
-Try seven. From unauthorized mobilization to appearing unconcealed before a resident. You wanna tell me what's going on? Huh?
-It's... coming.
-So... now what? Cattle call again?
-We've got about eight or nine prospects I want you look--
-... recent landings within a hundred mile radius of Sudbury, Virginia?
-Nothing.
-Nothing at all? Now? Last month? Anything in the last few years?
-I know what this is. Zed, you in?
-Yeah, Kay?
-Did our friend announce when he's making his speech?
-Noon exactly.
-Did he say where?
-Actually, yeah--
-Wouldn't happen to be the Lincoln Memorial, would it?
-How'd you know that? Kay?
-Listen to me. You're holding something very very dangerous. You've just iced 350 of your pals--
-They're not my pals--
-They're not even gonna be your enemie-a if you don't give that to me really soon.
-What if I don't?
-In about 10 seconds they're gonna start losing brain cells at the rate of about a million a minute.
-Will it lower the curve?
-I don't think it's a tradeoff you really want to make. Now give it to me-- I can reverse the effects if you give it to me now.
-Found it.
-Tell us the truth. You don't just find these things, at least not in this neighborhood.
-I just wanted to scare em. So I go in to buy a starter's pistol-- you know, the kind they use at track meets that shoot blanks-- and this guy, he said if I really wanted to mess with with them, he had just the thing...
-We're from Scientific American. We read about your discovery. We'd like to take a look.
-This it?
-I mean, I dunno. I've seen insects with really great camoflauge ability. But never like this.
-We're with the immigration and Naturalization Service, Intergalactic Bureau. We monitor all-alien activity in and around Earth and its enveloping atmosphere.
-Hmnn... wall, it's funny, cause usually I'm not all that attracted to stupid guys, but--
-We need to talk to you about the alien.
-Which way?
-Really nice wheels, by the way.
-How's Dee?
-Jupiter, actually. well, one of the moons.
-Kay? What's your 20?
-Highway 119, just west of Smith. Why?
-I need you in Philadelphia. I got a code 90, in a-high school.
-He's gone, too.
-What about the other agents? Ella? Tee?
-Even that little bug you found in Sudbury seems to have taken off.
-Jesus, everyone's moving. Could be an assembly. Does it look aggressive?
-Hard to tell. I hope not.
-They're gone.
-I'm getting a trajectory...
-And they're buying it?
-They went right to the President.
-As far as I can tell, the guy's what he says he is - alone, and unarmed. All he wants is five minutes to introduce himself to the public.
-Where's he making his big speech?
-Well, it wasn't in the jar...
-Did it leave?
-Actually, I don't know...
-Yeah? What's up?
-And get this: you know how humans evolved from primates? Well guess what the dominant life form on planet evolved from?
-How'd you know?
-Now, what are we looking at? Keys. Look at them all. Why do we have them? Mr. President?
-Well, uh... so we can got into things, I guess.
-Why, you might ask? Because you're ready. Because you've finally gone as far as you can go without it.
-If I may, sir... what exactly are you offering?
-A good question. And a simple answer. No more hunger. No more smog. No more overpopulation. No more war.
-And I assume you're bringing this to us because we're the most powerful country on the planet...
-Wally!
-I'm sorry, but I need your help. You contain information. I need to know how to get it. Can you just tell me who Leo Crow is? Can you tell me if --
-Is it now?
-What?
-What?
-They're inside.
-Take it.
-Agatha --
-Can you see the balloon man?
-Drop some money.
-Forget that guy --
-No. Follow him.
-He'll turn around.
-Agatha...
-He's here.
-I can't. I have to know.
-Please --
-Oh, God...
-Every day for the last six years I've thought about only two things. The first was what my son would look like if he were alive today. If I would even recognize him if I saw him on the street. The second was what I would do to the man who took him.
-Anderton --
-Please, I want to go back...
-I can't leave. You said so yourself, there is no Minority Report. I don't have an alternative future.
-Where are we going?
-Someplace safe.
-I have to go back.
-Why?
-The other two will die without me.
-I always wondered what the world would be like. But now that I've seen it, I don't need to see any more. It's all right. Once I'm in the tank, I won't remember any of this.
-Agatha, you're never going back there.
-Can't you see? She just wanted her little girl back.
-Who wanted her little girl back?
-The drowning woman. Anne... But it was too late. Her little girl was already gone.
-She died?
-She grew up.
-She's not alive, but she didn't die.
-I'm sorry, John, but you have to run again.
-What --
--- but he didn't.
-Then who was he?
-Just some guy... they found.
-Found? Where?
-Think, John. Why would they set you up?
-Because I found out about her...
-About who?
-I'm so sorry... I just want him back... I want him back so bad...
-John? What is it?
-Don't worry. I could cut open your chest, sew a dead cat in there and you'd never get an infection. Not with the spectrum of antibios I'll be shooting into you.
-That's comforting.
-You do understand I can't just give you new irises. The scanners will read the scar tissue. Alarms will go off. Large men with guns will appear...
-Anesthesia. Try to relax, John. I'm saying I'll have to remove your eyes. Completely.
-Yeah --
-And replace them with new ones.
-I know that, but I wanna keep the old ones.
-Why?
-Because my mother gave them to me. What do you care? They're no good to you on the secondary market anyway.
-That's not much.
-It's all I could safely move.
-You don't remember me, do you?
-We know each other?
-From where? D.C.?
-I put you away --
-Yes, you did.
-You made those tapes...
-They were performance pieces.
-You set your patients on fire!
-So uh, if you were a plastic surgeon before...
-There's food in the refrigerator. Make sure you drink a lot of water.
-How do I find the --
-It goes from the bathroom to the kitchen.
-I can't even stand up --
-I know you're in a hurry, so I juiced up the nano-reconstruction around your new eyes.
-The nano... what?
-I'm setting up a timer. When it goes off tomorrow, take off your bandages and get the hell out of here. But not before then, or you'll --
-You the sentry?
-I don't ever see any of you precops down here, I'm not in trouble am I?
-No, you're not in trouble. I'm interested in a murder.
-Kill type?
-Victim's a white female.
-That's an old one. One of our first.
-This is the official composite of the three precogs?
-That's right. It's a combined data stream based on all three previsions.
-Show me just Agatha's data stream.
-You the only sentry?
-Hence the expression...
-... Graveyard shift.
-Why's he still a John Doe? Why wasn't he ever ID's from an EYEscan?
-Huh, we don't seem to have her data.
-Try again.
-Hey, you wanna know where the word came from, "glitch?"
-Looks like she was a neuroin addict like John Doe here, but I show an address history that includes the Beaton Clinic.
-You're part of my flock now, John. Welcome.
-Lara --
-Tell me not to worry, John.
-Don't worry, Lamar.
-Which makes this the worst possible time to show that we're only human.
-Uh-huh...
-Has the observer from Justice shown up yet?
-And this is exactly the kind of behavior that will give them an excuse to do it.
-Lamar, I'm sorry. I don't know what --
-You understand that a week from now people are going to vote on whether or not what we've been doing down here has been some noble-minded enterprise or a chance to change the way this country fights crime.
-I need you to do two things for me. One, watch Danny Witwer.
-Yes, sir.
-You can let him look around, answer his questions, but watch him. If there's any problems, make sure we know about it first.
-I understand. What's the other thing?
-And you say the third prevision was, what, a little fuzzy or something?
-Danny Witwer is scheduled for a tour of Containment tomorrow --
-So give him a tour. He doesn't know enough to ask the right questions.
-If he's looking for a flaw in the system --
-Lara called me.
-What?
-She's worried about you. And, quite frankly, so am I.
-I'm fine.
-I hear you've been spending a lot of time in the sprawl.
-I go running down there.
-What if Danny Witwer came to you right now and insisted on a full chem run?
-You understand, John, that the minute Precrime goes national, they're going to take it away from us.
-We won't let them.
-Just so you know, I've overridden the vehicle locator. I just wanted to talk to you before Justice --
-Justice already knows. Talk to me, John. Tell me what's happening?
-This is all Witwer. He's setting me up.
-Stop. Just wait. Who's the victim?
-Somebody named Leo Crow.
-And who the hell is that?
-I have no idea. I've never heard of him. But I'm supposed to kill him in less than thirty-six hours.
-All right, John, just take a breath, let's think about this...
-I'm out of breath! I'm a fucking fugitive!
-Then come to my house. We'll talk --
-I can't. They're following me right now. They'll meet me there. They'll halo me.
-How could Witwer have accessed the case file?
-Can you fake the cerebral output?
-We're years from that. John, I'm asking you: please, come in, we'll shut down the system until we get this thing figured out.
-You know I can't do that. You can't do that... Lamar, I need you to talk to Wally, see if Witwer's gone inside the temple again. Then ask Jad for any off hour EYEdents into the analytical room --
-John. Please. Listen to me --
-I'm not getting halo'd.
-You can't run --
-John --
-People want to believe in the system. That's the beauty of it...
-No doubt the Precogs have already seen this.
-No doubt.
-Seventeen minutes.
-Chief, the investigator from the Fed is here.
-You're kidding, that's today?
-I wrote it down in your calendar, then left a message at your house --
-All I need, some twink from the Fed poking around right now. Check again with the paper, they had it forwarded. See if the neighbors know where they went, check all relations --
-Uh, sir...
-What he's doing now, we call "scrubbing the image", looking for clues as to where the murder's going to happen.
-The brick has been repointed, the glass is original with new glazing bars. I show composite mouldings with dentils. Someone took care in the renovation. Let's find the architect...
-Victims are pronounced here. Killers here. We never touch anything.
-Don't run, Chief. You know we'll catch you. You trained us.
-Everybody runs.
-You don't have to do this, Chief.
-Okay, Jad, what's coming?
-We need confirmation on the time frame. Location still uncertain. Remote witnesses are hooked in...
-We can't grab it...
-Got him in the Foxhall. 4421 Gainsborough.
-Send a DCPD blue & white out there, set up a perimeter and tell 'em we're en route. What's our confirmed time?
-Somewhere near the capital?
-No maglev system.
-The mall?
-Look at the kid. In this one, he's on the left of the man in the suit.
-Yeah? So?
-Go ahead.
-Did he close the front door?
-What?
-You guys are nodding your heads like you actually know what the hell he's talking about.
-Come on, Chief, you think about it, the way we work -- changing destiny and all -- we're more like clergy than cops.
-Uh-huh. Jad?
-Sir?
-Jad. How come you're not out there with Father Witwer?
-Red Ball?
-Nope. Somebody's thinking about this one.
-The victim's name is Leo Crow.
-Start a location run and a contact search for future victim Leo Crow. And, Jad, I'll need a Last Known Sheet when you get it.
-I've got no address -- last known or otherwise -- no tax returns for the last five years.
-I show time of occurrence, Friday at fifteen-zero-six hours.
-Confirm with trig and image.
-Any ID on the shooter yet?
-Uh, yeah, you mind getting me a piece of that cake they're eating down there? I'm starving.
-Sure, Chief. I think I'll grab one for myself while I'm at it...
-I'm sorry Danny, but I'll have to give you the full tour later on.
-As I recall, they outlawed compression firearms in the District ten years ago.
-They did. Make yourself comfortable. We'll be back in an hour.
-But it's not the future if you stop it. Isn't that a fundamental paradox?
-Why did you catch that?
-Because it was going to fall.
-You're certain?
-Yes.
-The fact that you prevented it from happening doesn't change the fact that it was going to happen.
-You ever get any false positives? Someone intends to kill his boss or his wife, but they never go through with it. How do the precogs tell the difference?
-The Precogs don't see what you intend to do, only what you will do.
-It was Iris Hineman. She developed the Precogs, designed the system and pioneered the interface.
-Speaking of interfacing, I'd love to say hello.
-To them.
-Cops aren't allowed inside the temple.
-Really? You've never been inside?
-We keep a strict separation so that no one can accuse us of tampering.
-So I'll be the first one to go in then?
-Maybe you didn't hear me.
-If it's a question of authority.
-There's no question. You don't have any.
-I find it interesting that some people have begun to deify the precogs.
-The precogs are pattern recognition filters, nothing more.
-But you call this room the "temple".
-Just a nickname.
-Sorry. Old habit. I spent three years at Fuller Seminary before I became a cop. My father was a minister. Lutheran.
-What does he think of your chosen line of work?
-At least now you -- and I -- have the chance to make sure that kind of thing doesn't happen to anyone ever again.
-Why don't you cut the cute act, Danny, and tell me exactly what it is you're looking for?
-Flaws.
-There hasn't been a murder in six years. There's nothing wrong with the system. It's perfect.
-You set me up...
-It seems I've found a flaw, John You.
-You gonna tell on me?
-I can't touch you! And John, you can't be in here! You'll confuse them!
-They're not in any pain. We keep their heads pretty well stocked with dopamine and endorphins. Plus, we maintain careful control over their serotonin levels -- don't want 'em to drift off to sleep, but they can't be kept too awake either.
-Her pituitary dumped a week's worth into her system... What did you do to her?
-Nothing... she grabbed me, and then there was an image on the screen...
-She was looking right at me.
-She spoke to me.
-To you? I don't think so... What'd she say?
-Wally, listen to me...
-I like you, Wally, so I'm not gonna kick you, or hit you with anything, but only if you promise to help me...
-Are these all of her previsions?
-Just go to the beginning!
-Detective. Nice of you to come down here. Seeing as every cop in the world is looking for you right now. Jesus, what's up with your eye?
-I need your help.
-Well, hey, you didn't have to come all the way down here. For you, Chief, I make housecalls...
-I need help with her.
-I'm impressed, Anderton. You're on the lam, but you still got the time and energy to slice off a little jerky for yourself.
-Rufus. She's a precog.
-She's a precog?
-Are you reading my mind right now?
-Rufus, for Christ's sake, get up.
-She's got information inside of her. I need you to get it out.
-No. No way. I wouldn't even know where to begin! Those thoughts about my cousin Elena -- they were just thoughts. I would never --
-C'mon, Rufus, you've been busted twice for felony hacking.
-So?
-I tell you what. I do this, I get to keep whatever images I get from her head.
-They don't belong to anybody.
-Stop --
-What happened? Where's the rest?
-Rufus, play it back...
-I scored a goal!
-I won!
-Four. Wow. What a big boy. I love you, Sean.
-Okay... now let me time you.
-Are you kidding? There's absolutely positively no way, on my best day, I could ever beat twelve seconds!
-Come on!
-Sean -- you're not real.
-You gotta have faith, Dad.
-It's a little late for that.
-Wanna hear something funny?
-What the hell.
-You're alive?
-No. He got tired of pretending.
-Oh, Sean --
-The funny thing is, I started to believe he really was my Dad.
-Sean --
-I feel bad about that. I need you to forgive me.
-I forgive you.
-Once I even told him I loved him.
-I forgive you...
-The more you want to believe something, the easier it is to be fooled.
-I was looking for you...
-I know that. I know you would have done anything to find me. I know you would have died for me.
-I wanted to.
-Who are you?
-I'm your son. I'm you.
-Sean, wait...
-Six years ago. Baltimore. You grabbed a kid at Francis public pool in the West End.
-Do you know who I am?
-Some -- somebody's father?
-... and that I needed his help. It wasn't so bad really. I sang him a song, made him laugh, bought him a pretzel. I took care of him. I made him happy.
-Where've you got him? Is he all right? Tell me, you fuck -- WHERE IS HE?!
-It floated back up. I had to take him out and --
-You're not gonna kill me?
-But you have to. They said you would.
-The precogs were wrong.
-You're supposed to kill me. He said you would.
-Look, I've put my family through enough misery. You gotta kill me! This way I can leave 'em something.
-Crow. I'm not gonna kill you.
-Look, believe me, I know it's hard, but you gotta do it --
-I'm asking you again, who made you do this?
-I don't know -- I never saw his face. All I know is, the next day I was out, so the guy must've had juice somewhere. Look, man, you gotta go through with this.
-What about the picture --
-Fake. He gave it to me. Now -- -- shoot me, Goddammit, before I lose my nerve!
-Tell me, who was it, set this up?
-If I tell you, my family gets nothing.
-Who made you do this?
-Kill me!
-Let go of the gun.
-You're not gonna kill me...
-Something wrong?
-Yes, I'm afraid that would be from the Doll's Eye.
-The what?
-You have three minutes to tell me what you're doing here before I feed you to a few of my more predacious plants.
-Just what is it you think I can do for you?
-You can tell me how someone... could fake a prevision.
-What's so funny?
-If the unintended consequences of a series of genetic mistakes and science gone haywire can be called invention, then yes, I invented precrime.
-You don't seem all that proud.
-I'm not. I was trying to heal them, not turn them into... something else.
-Heal who?
-The innocents we now use to stop the guilty.
-You're talking about the precogs...
-It began as play. A guessing game like you play with any toddler, except these children always guessed right. And then the nightmares started. They were all different, but all the same. They were all about murder. And the murders were all happening.
-And how did Lamar become involved?
-Back then, he was still a DA, and quite a few parents of my patients had passed through his courtroom. You have to understand, these people were the dregs of society. But once they saw their children... he decided he would do whatever he could for them. He's that way, you know, paternal about certain things. Precrime. The precogs. You.
-You say some of the children died?
-So many of them... despite what we did for them. Or maybe because of what we did to them. It doesn't matter. It's a perfect system now, isn't it?
-I'm not a murderer. I've never even met the man I'm supposed to kill.
-And, yet, a chain of events has started. A chain that will lead inexorably to his death.
-Not if I stay away from him.
-How can you avoid a man you've never met?
-So you won't help me?
-What?
-Most of the time, all three Precognitives will see an event in the same way. But once in a while, one of them will see things differently than the other two.
-Jesus Christ -- why didn't I know about this?
-Because these Minority Reports are destroyed the instant they occur.
-Why?
-You're saying that I've halo'd innocent people?
-I'm saying that every so often those accused of a precrime might, just might, have an alternate future.
-Does Burgess know about this? About the Minority Report?
-I used to joke with Lamar that we were the mother and father of Precrime. Well, in my experience, parents often see their children as they want them to be, not as they are.
-Answer my question. Did Lamar Burgess know about the Minority Report?
-Yes, of course, he knew, but at the time, he felt -- we both felt their existence was... an insignificant variable.
-Insignificant to you maybe, but what about those people I put away with alternate futures? My God, if the country knew there was a chance they might not --
-The system would collapse.
-I believe in that system...
-You want to bring it down.
-But you will bring it down if you kill Leo Crow. Why, that will be the most spectacular public display of how Precrime... didn't work.
-I'm not gonna kill anybody.
-Hold that thought.
-Why should I trust you?
-You shouldn't. You shouldn't trust anyone... certainly not the Attorney General who wants it all for himself. Not the young federal agent who wants your job. Not even the old man who just wants to hang onto what he's created. Don't trust anyone. Just find the Minority Report.
-You said they're destroyed.
-I said the record is destroyed. The original report exists for all time. I designed the system so that whenever a report occurred, it would be stored in a safe place -- but not declared.
-What safe place is that?
-Where?
-Inside the Precog who predicted it. All you have to do is download it.
-That's all, huh? Just walk right into Precrime, go into the Temple, somehow tap into the Precogs, and then download this Minority Report...
-If... you have one.
--- and then walk out.
-Actually, I think you'll have to run out, but yes, that's what you have to do.
-I'll get EYEscanned a dozen times before I get within ten miles of Precrime. They'll pick me up...
-How do I even know which one has it?
-It's always in the more gifted of the three.
-Which one is that?
-John?
-He's dead, Lara.
-Oh, God, what did you do?
-Nothing. I didn't kill him.
-Then how did he --
-This is all my fault.
-I haven't worn this damn thing in years. I just wanted to make sure it fits before tonight.
-It's insanity around here.
-I thought you were retiring?
-Who?
-Anne Lively. John was talking about her right before they took him.
-John said something about him being set up because he "found out about her."
-We know why John was tagged.
-Lamar, do you know the reason why John came here to work with you?
-Sean --
-I understand.
-But I also know why he married you: you're as stubborn as he is.
-Lamar --
-All right. Tell you what I'll do. First thing Monday, I'll look over the Witwer evidence and I'll have Gideon run the Containment files, see if anyone drowned a woman named -- what did you say her name was?
-The guy from USA Today is here.
-Tell him not now.
-He just wanted a few minutes before --
-Sir, the press conference is starting.
-Congratulations, sir.
-How did you get this?
-You have an emergency call on your private line.
-He came to see you yesterday. Right before he got tagged. What did you talk about?
-The Mets. John doesn't think they've got a deep enough pitching roster this year, and I'm inclined to agree.
-Why are you protecting him? You knew he was doping, yet you did nothing about it.
-The man lost a child, for Christ's sake...
-Six years ago. What did you two talk about yesterday afternoon?
-None of your damn business.
-Oh, it's all my damn business now, Lamar. Investigation of a supervising office for a capital crime falls under federal jurisdiction... so as to rule out any possibility of conspiracy. He's my suspect.
-Shall we call the Attorney General? I'm sure he'd be happy to clarify the issue for you.
-Lamar, I found something.
-What?
-I don't wanna say over the phone, but I think we may be chasing the wrong man.
-Good God. What was that?
-He told me about this. You got this from Containment?
-It's the same prevision.
-Now the second image. Watch the water. The wind's changed. The ripples are going the other way.
-I don't understand --
-According to the Sentry, Anderton was watching this at Containment right before he was tagged.
-I know. He came to me, told me about the missing data stream. He was concerned that you might find it.
-I did find it. It was inside of Agatha all this time. So the question is, why would someone want this erased from the data file?
-Danny, tell me what you're thinking.
-I'm thinking someone got away with murder.
-By fooling the system. All someone would have to do is wait for Precrime to stop the murder from taking place, then, a few minutes later, commit the crime in exactly the same way.
-Yes... It's called an echo. The act of murder is such a violent disturbance in the future continuum that it sometimes repeats to the Precogs.
-Precog Deja Vu...
-So there is a way to fool the system?
-Of course, it would have to be someone with access to the Prevision in the first place, someone fairly high up --
-Shhh. You know what I hear?
-What?
-Near Death's real popular right now, which includes everything from getting hit by a car, to falling off a high building to plane crashes. It's a big rush, you come out the other side without a heart attack.
-I wanna kill my boss.
-Uh-huh. Okay. You got some images I can work with?
-Right here.
-Uh, yeah, being concert master of the Philadelphia Symphony Orchestra is one of our most popular choices...
-No, I wanna kill my boss!
-This is Evanna, the team pilot.
-So if you wanna kill someone, you take him to Miami.
-Can't they shut that off?
-Crime of passion. No premeditation. They show up late. Most of our scrambles are flash events like this one. We rarely see anything with premeditation anymore.
-The information we need is embedded in the grain of wood. And since each piece is unique, the shape and grain is impossible to duplicate.
-Because of the nature of murder. "There's nothing more destructive to the metaphysical fabric that binds us than the untimely murder of one human being by another".
-Don't worry. I'll bring him in unharmed.
-Actually, Gordon, you're not gonna do that. I'm taking control of the team.
-Sir, the team's gonna be light without those men.
-Here's where we're at. Three men in a room. The victims here. Anderton here, and this unidentified male out the window. The exterior of the adjacent building suggests public housing, but I can't make out the location. Government architecture is modern/conformist which means --
-There's thousands of units like this one.
-Anderton's smart enough to go where electronic billboards and other media can't ID him to pick his pocket. There's fewer consumers down there, which means fewer scanners to target him.
-No offense, sir, but why wouldn't he just run?
-There are two others in the room besides Anderton and Crow.
-It doesn't matter. He wins.
-We can stop him.
-He's trying to prove his innocence.
-He can't download her without a lot of technical help.
-There a maid in this hotel?
-I don't know, why?
-If you were a child killer, you took these pictures, would you leave them out on the bed for anyone to find?
-They could have been put away. Anderton could have found them.
-What kind of cop were you before this?
-I was a Treasury Agent for eight years. Why?
-I worked homicide before I went federal. This is what we would've called an "orgy of evidence". Do you know how many orgies I had as a homicide copy, Gordon?
-How many?
-That's why you asked to partner with me on this little sortie, isn't it?
-I think you're swell company, Knott.
-People, if you don't let the spyder scan you, we'll have to come in and arrest you.
-Why don't I feel like celebrating?
-John Anderton was my friend!
-He looks familiar.
-Who?
-The man across the street. I've seen him before...
-What about your meeting?
-We could have lunch together.
-I'd love to, but I've got an open house today at the Ressler place.
-Raincheck?
-Howard --
-My name is Danny Witwer. I'm --
-This your work?
-I like it.
-Thanks. You take anything in your coffee?
-Cream and sugar.
-I don't have any cream. Sorry.
-Just sugar then. You and John ever come here?
-We used to, every summer.
-I don't have any sugar either.
-Thank you. He hasn't tried to contact you?
-No.
-You ever heard him mention the name Leo Crow?
-No, but then I don't talk to John that much anymore.
-So you haven't seen his apartment?
-That was our apartment.
-Since right after we lost our son.
-You mean after he lost your son.
-It was nobody's fault.
-But John was with him at the pool?
-You said in your divorce papers that he tried to kill himself.
-It wasn't a suicide attempt. I regret ever saying that.
-What was it then?
-The FBI found something that belonged to my son. A sandal... Anyway, John was upset. He... he...
-He took out his gun and sat down to watch his home movies. This is all in your statement, Lara...
-He shot a hole in the damn ceiling. So what? You lose your son, let's see how well you handle it.
-Lamar Burgess thinks that you left John because he lost himself in Precrime instead of you.
-You know I need to use you.
-To what? Trap him?
-To prevent a murder. Sooner or later, he's going to contact you.
-I haven't seen him in two years.
-Nice to meet you, Wally.
-Shhh! They're sleeping.
-They've never been separated before.
-What does he want with a precog?
-What do you think? So he can kill whoever he wants to without anyone knowing about it.
-Wally, the other two can still function, right?
-You don't understand... they're a hive mind. It takes all three for their predictive abilities to work.
-Are you telling me they can't see murders anymore?
-Maybe if he'd taken one of the males. But the female, she's the key. She's the one they listen to, the one with the most talent. The one who takes care of the other two.
-Look, Bobby, I don't know what happened, and I don't want to know what happened, but something's up.
-What are you talking about?
-Maxie wants me to replace you on the job tomorrow. He wants you to come by the office today.
-They were grabbing her fucking ass --
-Hey. I don't know, I don't want to know. Far as I'm concerned, you're a good kid. I got news, though, without you here I can't keep on your friend. I got enough people pretending to sweep.
-Do me a favor, Arthur, keep him on til I see what's happening.
-Hi, uh, excuse me. I'm here to see Mr. Reuben.
-You're Bobby, right?
-Yeah.
-He'll be a minute, hon. You want some coffee?
-No thank you.
-You sure? I just made it.
-Martel's and coke. One ice cube. In a snifter this time.
-Snifter are for warm drinks --
-Yeah, snifters are for cognac --
-When served warm --
-What's the matter? You ain't got no snifters in this motherfucker?
-We have snifters
-...And here is the key to the mini- bar. Room and tax has been picked up by Cardiff Giant, as well as one fifty in incidentals.
-What's 'incidentals?'
-Now, Mr. Slade, you're in room 315.
-Just give me the key. I'm gonna stay here.
-Yes, sir.
-Is it a good room?
-I can take you down there.
-Just tell me. Wait, here... Do you have change of a hundred?
-Not on me, sir.
-Here. Take it. Bring me back eighty.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah. Take it.
-Thank you very much, sir.
-So?
-What, sir?
-Is it the good room?
-All the suites are about the same.
-Come on. Just tell me. It'll save all the trouble of you showing me all the rooms.
-Honestly, the suites are all about the same.
-What if I gave you forty?
-It's as good a suite as we have, unless you want two bedrooms.
-No. That's cool. Bring me back eighty.
-Thank you, sir.
-Where's the place to go tonight?
-As far as...?
-Nightlife. Where's the hot ass?
-Women?
-Yeah 'women.' If I was a fag I could get laid in a subway.
-I don't know, Forum's pretty hot tonight. It might be hard to get in, though.
-Don't worry about me getting in. Just tell me where it is.
-It's on West Broadway.
-So, wait, you're from where?
-Manhattan.
-You girls aren't from Brooklyn or anything?
-I don't get it. What do you do?
-We're in Fashion.
-I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to feel a really sexual vibe here.
-What happened? I thought we were playing Truth or Dare.
-Okay. We got a lot happening here. Here comes the good part... Okay...
-Will you leave me alone, already...? No, Sean, it's over... I don't care... As a matter of fact, I am... Yeah. In his hotel room...
-Holy shit.
-Is he cute?
-He's okay.
-Should I fuck him?
-I don't know. Do whatever you want.
-He's great, right. Is he great?
-He's alright.
-I know.
-Oh no. What is it this time.
-We used to take baths together.
-What the fuck was that about?
-You wanna get us busted? If Max found out you were turning tricks --
-I got news for you, Bobby, he don't give a shit.
-Bullshit.
-You think he don't know? I give him his cut of seventeen hundred, I think he knows I can't make that lap dancing.
-Nobody's fuckin talking to you.
-And how could you fucking leave Horrace hanging?
-I got news for you, Horrace got his ass out of there before you did.
-Bullshit.
-Ricky's not wearing one.
-A elephant seal. Where's mommy?
-She's, uh, sleeping.
-It's daytime.
-Mommy works hard so you can have all your pretty clothes. Don't you like your pretty clothes?
-No.
-What's wrong, baby?
-It's a poison arrow tree frog.
-You're not my daddy.
-You gonna bust my horns, or you want spaghetti
-Hello.
-Chloe?
-Uncle Bobby?
-Hi, baby. What are you doing awake? Where's mommy?
-I don't know.
-Mommy's not home?
-No.
-What time is it there?
-Can you take me to Color Me Mine?
-I gotta go, baby. I love you. Tell mommy I called. You be a big girl and be careful when you're alone.
-Honey?
-So, what kind of gig is this?
-Easy night. Bachelor party. Can we give Wendy a ride?
-No. What kind of bachelor party?
-Oh my god. What happened?
-A draw. What makes you think they're well mannered?
-Bobby, this is a plumb gig. It's a bunch of young agents and it's at a restaurant. It's gonna be easy and we'll make a lot of money.
-I don't like you working with Wendy. Why are you working with Wendy?
-They requested her. It was her gig. Max put me on as a favor.
-Some favor. I hope they know you're not like Wendy.
-Oh, please.
-If they asked for her, they're probably expecting blowjobs all around.
-Will you cut it out! Get ready, we're already late.
-Who's watching the baby?
-She's downstairs with Ruth. Get ready.
-I'm ready.
-Bullshit. These are classy customers. You can't show up all fucked up with a Fila running suit on.
-You talk to Max today?
-I'm not gonna mention Ricky to him.
-Don't expect you to mention it to him. I'm just saying, if --
-The only way he'll go with Ricky is if you're in too.
-Well, that's not gonna happen.
-Fine. You want to help Ricky, talk to Maxie yourself.
-I feel weird asking him.
-You shouldn't. He likes you.
-I just wish he never brought it up. Ricky won't shut up about it.
-Forget Ricky. You should be glad Max got you driving for me.
-No coke tonight. Right?
-Go finish getting ready. I'll take care of dinner.
-Yeah? You sure?
-No way that cocksucker's driving you.
-Maybe if you didn't go Rambo every time I did a lapdance, you'd still be doing it yourself. Meantime, I gotta feed my little girl.
-Maxie's fucking with me. He put you with the spook to get under my skin.
-Ho's a good guy --
-Ho's a fucking pimp! He encourages Wendy to turn tricks. And she's his fucking wife!
-Shhh. He'll hear you.
-Good! It'll save me the trouble of repeating myself. He's not fucking driving you!
-Listen to me, Bobby. This is my job. It puts a roof over me and my daughter and you for as long as you want to stay.
-I want you to quit.
-Look at the bills. I can't. I'm not gonna put my daughter through what I went through.
-I'll support you.
-With what?
-Max offered to stake me.
-She needs a family. A dad. I'll give her what you never had.
-I never promised you anything.
-How could you let her see this?
-Goodbye, Bobby.
-Just so you know, I bought you out with Maxie. I suggest you leave while you can.
-Don't you get it? I don't want to leave. This is who I am.
-Take her.
-What'd you say?
-Whu --
-There's no touching.
-But what about them?
-I said no touching.
-Look, man, I'm the bachelor, alright? I gave her a hundred bucks in tips alone --
-Get your hands off of her.
-Dude, listen, man. I'm cool. How much for the treatment?
-Your dance is over.
-I -- I -- I... Don't...
-It's already been a hell of a night. Where you been?
-I had a fight up at Sportsman's.
-Well, you look it. You win?
-Draw.
-What's your record at?
-5-5-1.
-Yeah, well you let me know when you wanna start makin the real money.
-Yeah, sure.
-What's up? Jess ready?
-You driving her?
-Yeah.
-C'mon girl. Eat up.
-Get away from her.
-What's up. You all ready to meet Ruiz?
-He making the drop?
-Nah, man. He's just making contact. That's our man. The Welsh guy.
-What's his name?
-Ruiz don't like using names on cell phones. He refers to him as the Red Dragon.
-So, when's the drop.
-How bad is it?
-It's bad. Before you even showed up, he said you were Maxie's 'token goons', and not to be trusted. He wanted to TCB alone. I was gonna ride shotgun to keep the English dude above board. Now he's spooked. This shit's snowballing.
-When's it going down?
-Was gonna be tomorrow morning. Now, who knows?
-Why isn't Ruiz coming?
-This Welsh dude is tripping on Ruiz cause he's a Shot Caller.
-What's that?
-A Shot Caller. A boss, a Capo. He's running shit.
-So what do we do?
-We go and hang out with the dude, make him happy, drink some tea, whatever it takes, until he feels comfortable enough to bring it up on his own. We make the drop, go home to California.
-Where is this happening?
-Now, here's what worries me. He said he wants to meet up at a bar in Red Hook. You know where that is?
-No.
-Brooklyn.
-Yeah?
-He must have that shit troughed.
-What do you mean 'troughed?'
-Troughed off. Protected. Like, you know, like he got a moat around it.
-Ruiz tied in out there?
-Heard of them.
-They ran shit back in the Eighties. Used to cut motherfuckers heads off and sit them on the bar. That's back when the Irish was making a play against the Italians. I don't know if they still around, but I don't fuck with those motherfuckers just in case.
-It sounds to me like everybody's just a little jumpy. And since all it is is a drop, the Welshman's got nothing at stake. I say we go to his 'troughed off' bar. It'll calm his nerves, we drop the bag, and we all get back to our lives.
-Where we going?
-Quick drop. In and out.
-Where's Ricky?
-Ricky's taken care of.
-How so?
-He was uptown when I paged him. I gave him the address. He's meeting us there.
-That it?
-This is it.
-Where's Ricky.
-You like the ponies?
-Sure. Yeah.
-You bet the ponies?
-Me? No. Not really.
-Smart. Hard as hell to handicap. You know what I like? Hai Alai. Fast game. You know why I like it?
-Why?
-It's fixed. That's the only way to win. A sure thing. See that horse. The blaze.
-This one?
-Yeah. The blaze. I bought her in '66. Hired a trainer, stall, whatever it was. That horse made me over a hundred grand. In 'sixties' dollars. You know what that is today?
-Pshhh...
-A million. Easy.
-She was fast, huh?
-Never won a race. But it got me in with the trainer. We'd have a thing, I don't remember, some fucking thing. The jockey would raise his whip, it meant the fix was in, we'd all go running. People get greedy. First they bet small, they keep their mouth shut. Within a month's time, everyone and their brother was in on it. The odds
-I like you, kid. Why do you gotta make it so hard for me to take care of you?
-Mr. Reuben, I swear to God, they were out of line.
-Last time, maybe, with the Puerto Ricans, but these were nice Jewish boys.
-They were out of line --
-They're fucking yeshiva buchas. You didn't have to tear up the goddamn place. You knocked out a guys teeth.
-That prick tried to get Jessica to blow him in the bathroom --
-Bobby, I love Jessica like she's my own daughter. I would kill anyone so much as lays a finger on her or her beautiful daughter, but that fucking pisher you socked in the mouth has the most expensive dentist in Beverly Hills and wants I should buy him an implant. Your silverback horseshit's gonna cost me eight grand.
-I'll work it off.
-Not driving Jess, you won't.
-What?
-You're not driving Jess no more. Two strikes, Bobby, and this last one was big. The bachelor's father goes to my schul.
-So, that's it. I'm out?
-I didn't say that.
-Then what are you saying?
-Bobby. You're a bull terrier and I got you herding sheep.
-I don't understand.
-It's my fault. I send you out to watch scum drool all over the love of your life, then I wonder why you seered. It's my fault. The tooth is on me. But no more. I'm 'reassigning' you.
-I don't want to drive another girl, Max. The only reason I'm --
-Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? This ain't a fucking democracy. You want out?
-No.
-Don't I put food on you're table? I sponsor your training, I take care of your girl and her little baby. I even pay that deadbeat friend of yours to push a goddamn broom.
-I know.
-Now you wanna shut up and listen and hear what I got to say?
-Yeah. Sorry.
-I got a way we make everybody happy.
-Yeah.
-We try something out. There's someone I'm in business with named Ruiz. I want you to accompany him on a drop. Just as scenery. Ruiz has his boys. I just want a big guinea with a busted up face to give him a deep bench. As a deterrent.
-Ruiz knows about this?
-Ruiz wants to go alone, but it's not up to Ruiz. It's up to me, and I like a sure thing. Just go and we're square on the tooth.
-What about Ricky? He'd jump at the opportunity.
-Ricky? Ricky 'I lost the truck' Ricky?
-You told him you liked him.
-That was before he lost my carpet cleaning van.
-He'll work it off.
-I don't know the kid, and what little I do scares me.
-He's good people, Mr. Reuben. I swear.
-Yeah. Sure.
-How 'bout this. If you're in, he's in.
-I gotta tell you, Mr. Reuben, I'm not comfortable getting in any deeper. It's one thing to look after Jess...
-You're ready to move up. Christ, the way you busted up the place, you're doing worse already. May as well get paid instead of punished.
-It's not that I don't appreciate the offer...
-Do me a favor. Think about it. Is that too much too ask?
-Yes, for expenses and such. Now, you'll be contacted on your pager as to where you should go. You each have been given an extra battery, so there is absolutely no excuse as to why a page would not be immediately returned. Am I making myself abundantly clear?
-Yes.
-What is it?
-You want --
-I already told you, I parked it for five minutes and I locked it with the club --
-You want us to be wherever you want us to be, ASAP, no questions asked.
-There won't be a next thing.
-Take a few days --
-I don't need a few days. I'm gonna settle down with Jess. She's through dancing. We're opening a restaurant.
-That's him. Now you all know the drill, right?
-'Dis?' 'Dis?' You're not in a position to 'dis', or 'give props', or whatever your Real World sense of fucking decorum tells you to do. You're nothing. You're wallpaper. You're not here to make fucking friends. Asking a motherfucker where he lives. And who the fuck told you 'Red Dragon'?.
-We get it. We're sorry.
-Jesus Christ, where the fuck you been all night? You look like you got shit out in the gorilla house.
-Don't 'easy Ruiz' me. Y'all turned a Easter egg hunt into a butt-fuck-a- thon. Bring me four eggs Benedict and a mimosa. You all want mimosas?
-A bad heart.
-What's the plan?
-Now listen. The gig couldn't be simpler. You carry the money to the Welshman, he checks it, hands you his marker, you're done. The washed money goes directly to Maxie. Long as you hand off the bag, you're tight.
-Where's the drop?
-Hi. I, uh, think that's us.
-Hi. I'm Jimmy.
-What's that?
-You're going to the Soho Grand hotel, right?
-I'm not sure. All I know is the account is Cardiff Giant.
-Yeah. You're staying at the Soho Grand. You got anything checked?
-Nah.
-Where is the Soho Grand?
-So, Jimmy, you know where this address is?
-Yeah. I'll find it. It's in Harlem.
-Harlem? What is it, a restaurant?
-You don't know where you're going?
-No. Just the cross streets.
-I can wait around if you want.
-Spa?
-Yeah.
-'Trustafarians?'
-This Ruiz guy, what's his deal?
-Don't know much. I hear he runs a tight ship.
-Yeah?
-Understand me?
-Aren't we waiting for Ricky?
-Ricky's taken care of.
-Taken care of?
-Yeah... Mmmm, that sounds good... Uhu...
-Excuse me, we need to make a call.
-I'm on the phone.
-It's important.
-So's this. Hey baby... Oh, nothing. What were you saying?
-Listen, man, we really gotta...
-We're with Ruiz.
-Ruiz isn't here.
-We're supposed to meet him here. Is Ruiz on the list?
-Ruiz is always on the list. He just ain't here, though.
-Can you check?
-Sorry, man, but...
-Thanks a lot. Don't worry about it.
-Any time, bro.
-Did Max mention anything about any jobs?
-What about boxing?
-What about it?
-What are you saying?
-You said if you didn't have a winning record after eleven fights, you'd talk to Max.
-So?
-So, it was a draw.
-Yeah, I'm 5-5 and 1.
-So, it's not a winning record.
-It's not losing record.
-That's not what you said. You said if you didn't have a winning record --
-Don't be shitty.
-How am I being shitty?
-Don't be shitty.
-I wouldn't keep bugging you, but you said he said he would have a job for us.
-I'm not gonna bring it up to him.
-Of course I don't want you to bring it up to him... But if it comes up...
-I'll page you.
-Yeah. Page me. You know the number?
-Yeah. I know the number.
-Cause if you don't know the number, I can page you with the number so you'll have the number.
-I know the number.
-I'll page you with the number. I'll see you later. What time you done?
-I got no idea.
-Ask if he said anything to her.
-I will.
-I'll page you with the number.
-So I'm like, 'Maybe I'm not on the list cause I'm not a fuckin Persian.'
-I thought you hate that club.
-I do. It's a fuckin Persian Palace.
-Then why do you try to get in?
-Fuck them.
-Come on, man. Not with the owners here.
-We need guns.
-We don't need guns.
-I think we might.
-He didn't say we need guns.
-He implied it.
-This is the opportunity of a lifetime. What are you? Nuts? You've been waiting for this kind of opportunity.
-No. You've been waiting for this kind of opportunity.
-Damn right, I have. You think I like living on fucking Yucca? We do a good job on this, we're in.
-What happened to boxing? I thought we made a vow.
-Shit. Who we kidding? I know I suck, and I held you up for ten rounds --
-Bullshit...
-Please. I got three inches on you. You wouldn't have landed a punch if I didn't let you.
-You wanna go right now?
-Sorry coach.
-We look good this year.
-We'll kill Fairfax this year.
-I still can't believe you missed the fucking team bus.
-Fuck him.
-Your first start at DB, it's against Fairfax, and you miss the fucking bus.
-What are we delivering?
-We're not delivering shit. Ruiz is delivering something, and whatever it is is his business.
-Who is this fucking Ruiz?
-Maxie says he runs a tight ship. I wouldn't fuck with him.
-Some Mexican? How much could he weigh? A buck fifty, tops? I'd kick his fucking ass.
-I gotta pick up the baby.
-Why do you always get stuck taking care of the kid.
-I like it.
-It's not even yours.
-Nice work.
-Shhh... Yeah, yeah... No. No. I'll be there. You gotta get me to the Magic Castle at four.
-How'd you unlock my phone?
-I tried your ATM PIN. I gotta kill an hour. Let's grab a beer.
-No, man. It wrinkles my shit. Let's grab a fuckin beer --
-C'mon, man, not in front of the baby. Put on your seat belt before I get another ticket.
-Jesus Christ, fine. Alright?
-Why can't we just grab a goddamn beer.
-I promised Chloe we'd come here.
-Oh, give me a break. Look at her. She don't even know where the hell she is. She'd have more fun at Bordner's.
-I'm not taking her to a bar.
-What? Did she say something?
-She wants you to paint the ashtray.
-Max won't let me drive Jess to dance anymore.
-Who's driving her?
-I don't know.
-Right here's fine.
-Is that the woman from..?
-It's ours.
-Holy shit. Can you believe this?
-Pretty nice.
-See, man. Maxie fuckin takes care of you when you're in. Beats cleaning carpets.
-What's the movie?
-I'll get the girl.
-You hear that? You can drink as much as you want up here.
-We're not supposed to get drunk. We're on call.
-Unless we're supposed to whack out the fuckin' pilot, I don't think we're gonna have to work in the next five hours.
-I don't want to show up hammered. We're supposed to be representing Max.
-Shit. No new pages. I don't even know where the fuck we're supposed to go.
-Maybe we should call for a cab.
-'Cardiff Giant.' That's us.
-You sure?
-Who you calling?
-Shhh... Hello, room service?
-C'mon, man...
-Yeah, bring up two burgers and a couple of Heinekens. I'm in room... How'd you know? Oh. Yeah. How long? Cool.
-How much is it?
-How much? Okay. Make it fifteen minutes and you can add on a ten dollar tip. Bye.
-How much was it?
-Forty-six.
-Jesus, man. Plus ten?
-Yeah, I guess.
-Great. On my fucking room.
-Relax. You got one-fifty. You heard the guy.
-Ricky, who knows how long we're gonna have to be here. We gotta make it last.
-Fine. I'll put it on my room. Okay?
-Don't worry about it. Just be smart.
-But let me tell you, man, I don't like your attitude already.
-Oh really. Why's that?
-We just got moved up in the world. You gotta let go of that blue collar mentality that was drummed into your head. You gotta start owning it man, or they'll smell you a mile away like a cheap suit.
-Who's gonna smell me a mile away?
-What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
-I know you're not calling Jimmy.
-As a matter of fact I was. You got a problem with that?
-We're here representing Max. You're acting like a Puerto Rican on the fifteenth of the month.
-It's on West Broadway. We can walk.
-Shit. It's thirty-five cents. You got a dime?
-What exactly did they say?
-They said a hundred thirty-fifth and Twelfth.
-They didn't say an address?
-I told you what they said.
-Nothing else.
-Nothing.
-How'd they know who you were?
-They asked who it was.
-So they said more than the address.
-No. They asked who I was, then told me what corner.
-This is bullshit, man.
-What the fuck do you have to complain about?
-Don't even start.
-No. Tell me. What's so fucking horrible about this gig? You've been crawling up my ass for six months to get your name on Maxie's list, and here we are.
-Look, man, I never met Ruiz, okay? I don't know what the fuck I'm picking up, what the fuck I'm dropping off, who the fuck I'm meeting. All I know is Maxie's still pissed at me cause I sold his fucking van.
-You sold it? I thought they stole it.
-Sold it, stole it, whatever...
-Motherfucker...
-Oh, give me a break. Don't tell me you feel bad for the guy.
-You gotta be kidding me. I vouched for you.
-Relax. I'll do right by him. You know that.
-You just don't fucking get it, do you?
-You know he fucks all his girls, don't you?
-What the fuck is that supposed --
-I mean, that's what I heard --
-You know this guy?
-This shit's sketchy. Why do they drop us in the middle of nowhere to have the guy we're supposed to meet come meet us just to tell us we have to meet the same guy somewhere else?
-I don't know.
-Well, I thought you understood and I was just missing it.
-Missing what? He didn't say shit.
-Yeah, but you know Horrace. What did you get off him?
-What did I 'get?'
-Yeah. What vibe?
-I detected no vibe other than that Ruiz thinks you're a fucking idiot.
-Yo, fuck him, man. Calling us guineas...
-So is this the drop?
-Like I said, I don't know.
-He woulda told us right?
-Yeah.
-You happy?
-About what?
-Why you gotta make everything difficult?
-You too?
-Yeah, me too. You're a fucking bull in a china shop.
-Where do you think you're going?
-Back in.
-You fucking nuts?
-Work's over. I'm gonna party.
-You can't go in there. They know you're with Ruiz.
-You got that right.
-Fuck you. Go then. I'm taking the car.
-Look who's back? Want some champagne?
-Do not put this on Ruiz's tab. Start a new one.
-What the fuck's going on?
-Dude, get back out there. You gotta help me get them in the hot tub. Hang on girls! Just get out there. I'll be right out. You know how I do.
-What the hell did you do?
-What the fuck was that about?
-Hi. It's Ruiz. Yeah. So the driver knows where to go? When? We'll be down in five. No, I'll tell him. He's right there. Bye.
-What's up?
-He wants to see us now.
-Where?
-He said it's being arranged. He said Jimmy will know.
-We're getting whacked.
-We're not getting whacked.
-Why else you think he won't tell us where the sit down is?
-What are you doing.
-I got a bad feeling, man. I don't want to go in naked.
-You gonna shank him in the shower?
-Is it so unrealistic to think Ruiz, who doesn't even want us here, is throwing us to the wolves? As an apology? And I don't even know what we're dropping off or picking up --
-Put that shit out...
-C'mon, man...
-I swear to God, I'll fucking puke.
-Hey, Jimmy, where they taking us?
-Nothing, man.
-Let's do it.
-Let's check out the penguins.
-The what?
-The penguin house.
-Wait a minute. You want to look at fucking penguins now?
-Yeah. Let's look at the penguins.
-Did you hear what he just said?
-Whatever. We're here. We may as well go to the penguin house.
-We need guns.
-We don't need guns.
-I'm pretty sure we do.
-I listened extremely carefully. Nothing was even vaguely implied. He even laughed in your face when you asked him
-All the more reason.
-You wouldn't even know where to get one.
-Wanna bet?
-You couldn't even get a hand job from bridge and tunnel posse, how you gonna get a gun?
-That's cause you decided to get all tired all of a sudden.
-It was six in the fucking morning.
-Float me a hundred bucks.
-Why?
-You wanna see how fast I get a gun?
-You're out of money?
-No.
-What do you have left?
-Eighty.
-Eighty bucks?!?
-Eighty five.
-What happened to the fifteen hundred?
-You coulda picked up a tab every once in a while.
-I did! I paid for half the fuckin drinks!
-You did?
-Yes I did. You asshole! What about the room?
-What about it?
-Calm down.
-I fucking vouched for you. I vouched for you and you fucked me.
-This shit's peanuts compared to what we're gonna make with Maxie.
-Ricky. I'm trying to save this money. Understand? I'm trying to make it so my girlfriend doesn't have to grind her ass into other men's erections so her daughter can go to private school.
-I'm sorry...
-This is horseshit. It coulda been so easy.
-It's gonna be fine.
-No more, man.
-Let's get some sleep. That's what we need, man. Sleep.
-How we gonna sleep? We only got a few hours til dinner.
-So what do we do?
-Let's just go now and wait.
-Three and a half hours?
-I don't want to take any more chances.
-Let's just go get guns, I'd feel better.
-Don't fuck around. You're gonna get us all killed.
-Think about it: You knocked out that Jewish kid's tooth, cost him eight grand, maybe more. Maybe lost his whole line of clientele? He knows you're fucking up Jess' dancing, and I got a feeling he knows I stole his carpet cleaning van by the way he looks at me. He can't kill us in LA cause that leads to too many questions. So
-Where do you get this shit?
-Scenario B. I think I'm getting under Ruiz's skin. I'm no dummy. He doesn't like how it went down with the Red Drag -- Welshman, whatever. Now I got Fruitpie the Magician telling me I can't call my man Max? And that Welshman's sketchy. Whatever, I don't know where it's coming, which way it's coming from, I'm telling you one thing right now, I'm
-Look. They're together. You telling me this ain't a set-up?
-Holy shit. Get me back to Manhattan.
-Dude, we were practically made...
-I'll drop you off in a minute. I want to see if the baby's up. You wanna come in?
-No. I'll wait here.
-Hey, boys.
-Tom. How's it going?
-Fine, fine. And you were...?
-Bobby and Ricky.
-C'mon...
-We rep lines? You know? Fashion?
-And you grew up in Manhattan?
-Kinda. Yeah.
-I don't wear a white wig, I don't carry a gavel.
-Where's the surprise?
-You want your surprise?
-Yeah. I want it.
-You want to come splash around.
-I want to leave right now.
-Watch out, man. Sorry. I'm on the list, man. Hey, bro.
-The line's over there.
-Yeah, but, we're good. You know what I mean?
-How is it you're good? You on a list?
-Yeah. Ricky Slade.
-Cardiff Giant?
-What?
-Cardiff Giant. Just check.
-Maybe you wanna try the China Club.
-Again with the fucking China Club! What do I look like a fucking Persian to you?
-Did you see that shit? Motherfucker. You let in fucking Screech, dude? I'm waiting and you let in Screech?
-He's on the list.
-What's up, man.
-S'up.
-You look big, man. Diesel. You been lifting?
-A little.
-You look good, man.
-Cool. See you later.
-Yes?
-Yeah, uh, what's the movie?
-It's in your copy of Hemispheres. I believe it's Mickey Blue Eyes.
-Ugh...
-I'll get you the list of videos, if you don't mind, I'll offer the other passengers a beverage.
-Yeah, sure. How much are they?
-How much is what?
-The videos.
-Yes?
-Drinks are free, right?
-Yes. Would you care for another one?
-Yes.
-Where do you live?
-Excuse me.
-Where do you live?
-I operate out of the Chicago O'Hare hub. Can I help you with anything else?
-Where's Spa.
-How do you know it's not drugs?
-Maxie knows I don't go near drugs. I did a minute in Quentin for possession with intent. And it ain't now cause he woulda told me.
-You strapped?
-'Strapped?'
-It means you got a gun?
-Don't drag my ass into this --
-I'm not saying shit to neither of you.
-Why? What I say bad?
-What the fuck, 'Red Dragon?'
-See you later.
-You really in trouble?
-Stop.
-I'll tell him someone else told me.
-The Welsh dude, sees all these niggers in perms and diamonds and shit, he gets nervous. But you motherfuckers, he just laughs. All beat up in your babaloo suit like Fruitpie the Magician.
-So we just go eat with him and that's gonna solve everything?
-Dude, you just gotta settle your shit down. You gotta go and say all that 'Red Dragon' shit. Make him think he's on Barretta.
-Ow, shit...
-I'm half Irish.
-And where is...?
-Ruiz? Oh, he ain't here.
-No?
-Nah, see, Maxie just asked him to set that shit up as a favor. He, you know, he tied in with the club. Set us up so, you know, you feel at home.
-Well, I didn't care for the club much. And, I must say, I didn't care for him either.
-Well, he ain't gonna be around no more.
-No shit?
-Does anyone want another?
-Sure. Anyplace in particular?
-What do you want?
-A little Charlie, perhaps.
-Coke?
-I've heard you've got the best coke in the States. The shit back home is pants.
-Sorry, mates. Now there isn't even enough to go around...
-Don't worry, man. It's all for you.
-No, really, mate?
-Here they are, then.
-How's it going?
-Brilliantly. Care for a pint?
-No, thanks, man. We got to head out.
-Come, now. You just got here.
-Sorry about that. Where's your mate?
-I can't yet vouch for the amount, unless you want me to sit here and count.
-I... I just hired these guys to watch my back...
-Yeah.
-Good morning.
-You think this shit's funny, Ho?
-Nah, man...
-Last thing I want is you with a gun.
-Ricky.
-Is it nice?
-The Soho Grand?
-Yeah.
-You're from LA, right?
-Yeah.
-So whenever we want...
-Yeah. Grab one of the cards behind you. Call that number. It's my cell.
-So you're our own private guy?
-I handle most of Cardiff Giant's stuff.
-You know my pager number?
-No. What is it?
-I don't know. I thought you might. Any idea what the job is?
-A lot of Persians?
-I call 'em wiggers.
-Sure. You boys want anything?
-Yeah, bring us four fernet.
-Nigger, please. Don't even order that artichoke shit. West side guineas. Forget the drinks, Leo. We gotta roll. What do I owe you?
-We're square.
-Thanks, man. You need anything, you call.
-Thanks.
-Can I borrow a piece of --
-dollars in c-notes, a numeric pager, a double-A battery, and a first class round-trip ticket to JFK.
-We're going to New York?
-Yes. You're going to New York.
-And the money. Where do we bring the money?
-That money is your per diem.
-Yeah.
-You will not carry any other pagers with you. You will not carry anything, for that matter, that I have not just given you.
-Keys.
-What?
-What about my keys?
-You can carry your keys. You will not mention my name or imply that you are in my employ. You will not speak to anyone while you are working. When you are not working, you are considered to be 'on call' and available twenty-four hours a day. This means you will not get drunk or do anything that will prevent you from operating in
-I get it.
-Tell me.
-Don't worry. I get it.
-So tell me how it is.
-You want... Why are you picking on me?
-So, wait, what are we dropping off?
-I never intended to test you two to that extent, but you both came through. I should've been informed there was a flag on the play, but I'll take that up with Ruiz. I made a few calls back East. Those punks weren't tied in with anyone. As for the Welshman, he wasn't in on it. He was just plain dumb. As for you,
-But, Max --
-We're square.
-Yes, sir.
-No. I'll take a strega.
-What, motherfucker? You drinking 'the witch' after dinner?
-Yeah. That fernet tastes like tar. My grandfather tried to give me that.
-Some fuckin guineas he sent me. It's midnight and the motherfucker's ordering an apertif.
-We don't know any drill. Nobody told us anything.
-What the fuck you think, I wanna 'hang' with you motherfuckers? Yeah you're working. And put down the champagne.
-She poured it for --
-What the fuck was you told? Don't talk, right?
-No...
-Four mimosas. You'll love them. So here's the plan. I didn't say shit to Maxie, cause the man has acute angina, and I don't want to get him all worked up.
-Who's gonna outfit us?
-The Red Dragon.
-Shut it, man. Shut it. Tom is a square. He don't but dabble in shit. Maxie had me hook up a loan-back with him, through an Austrian passbook account.
-So, we're talking money laundering...
-Yeah.
-What?
-When all this is over and we're not working for Maxie, I'd love to run into you on the street. Why aren't you coming?
-And here I thought you flew in some out of town muscle. How's it going, men?
-Well, that's news to me. The name's Tom.
-Mmmm-hmm. Where's the, uh, 'Dragon's lair?' Where do you live?
-Edinburgh.
-And where might that be?
-Scotland.
-Well, word on the street is you're Welsh.
-I am.
-Dip?
-I'll get it.
-Sit down. We ain't fixing to eat you. You look brand new in town. Pretty handy with a bottle.
-What they call you?
-Red, and I ain't no punk.
-I'm working trains. Selling.
-Bet you like that shit.
-Keeps me out of the army.
-When they want your ass, won't nothing keep you out.
-Not this boy... I ain't fighting their war. I got my own. Right chere. Heard tell you're a good man to know.
-Heard where?
-Sombitch and I ain't never been to Beantown.
-Man's rep travels.
-You ain't bullshitting me, is you, boy?
-Is your papa West Indian?
-No, my mama. She's from Grenada.
-Where can I get a hold of you?
-YOU can't. I'll get a hold of you.
-Don't never write nothing down. File it up here, like I do. 'Cause if they can't find no paper they ain't got no proof. Ya dig?
-Did you just now con me?
-Yes, sir.
-Why?
-I like your heart and I like your style. You might just do, Little. Lessen you got to git back to that train job.
-I done told the man what he could do with his train.
-When?
-You looking good, Little. Real clean. Clean as the Board of Health. But you missing something.
-What?
-How's it feel?
-Solid, daddy.
-Okay, baby. Now you outfitted. You ready to tackle the street?
-I told you less paper, less trouble.
-I'm working on it.
-It hit?
-Ain't nuthin' in the world to give you that real deep cool. Like girl. You there?
-I'm there, daddy. Wheww. I'm cool enough to kill.
-Sometimes you got a big ugly mouth.
-1, 2, 8; 2, 8, 1. I git 'em all?
-Daddy, where's my money?
-What you talking?
-1, 2, 8 hit, didn't it?
-You din't have no 1, 2, 8.
-Was you that high? Old man, I threw the slats at you. I said to combinate me.
-You never had it.
-Shit, what else she gonna say?
-Oh, sit down, man. What you tasting? I'm buying.
-You're a damn liar.
-You _took_ me, you bastard, and now I'm taking you.
-It's me or you, ain't it, Pops?
-You know it.
-I'll give you back the 600.
-I don't want your money.
-I'm wearing, Archie.
-And every cat's watching, ain't they? It's a toe-down.
-That's what it is. Walk on out.
-Let Billie finish.
-Take it easy, baby.
-You saved my life, Archie. Running me out of Harlem. When I think how close we came to gunning each other down, I have to thank Allah.
-I wasn't gonna shoot you, baby. It was just my rep, that's all. And don't shit me now, but did you have that number? Tell me.
-I don't know. It doesn't matter. The thing is we got to get you back on your feet.
-Yeah. I got a couple a new angles ain't been figured yet. All I need's a stake and a chance --
-Can you use a few bucks? I ain't got much, but --
-No, man, I'm doing okay. Thanks.
-Take it easy. Lay down and don't think about it.
-Yeah.
-Man live by his rep.
-Yeah, got to do something about you.
-The dirty yellow rat bastard.
-Don't push it. You way ahead. You back on top. That boy loves you, man.
-What you say?
-Who the hell are you?
-Put it in a cup of water. It's nutmeg.
-Man, what do you want?
-You need something. It's not a reefer, but it'll help some.
-If you ain't trying to punk me, what's your hype?
-I can show you how to get out of prison. And it's no hype.
-Talk, daddy, I'm listening. Hey that ain't bad. You got some more?
-That's the last stuff you'll ever get from me.
-What did you give it to me for then?
-You ain't lying.
-Putting all that poison in your hair.
-Man, you been locked up too long, everybody conks. All the cats.
-Why? Why does everybody conk?
-Cause I don't want to walk around with my head all nappy, looking like --
-Like what? Looking like me? Like a nigger?! Why don't you want to look like what you are? What makes you ashamed of being black?
-Leggo. I got to wash it out.
-Sure, burn yourself, pain yourself, put all that poison into your hair, into your body -- trying to be white.
-Man, I don't want to hear all that.
-The question is, who are you? You are in the darkness, but it's not your fault. Elijah Muhammad can bring you into the light.
-Elijah who?
-What you sniffing around for? I told you I gave you your last fix.
-I ain't never seen a cat like you. Ain't you scared talking like that in front of an ofay?
-What's he gonna do to me he ain't already done?
-You the only cat don't come on with that "Whatcha know, daddy" jive; and you don't cuss none.
-I respect myself. A man cuss because he hasn't got the words to say what's on his mind.
-Tell you this: you ain't no fool.
-Don't con me. Don't try...
-Okay, okay.
-Don't con me.
-What do you do with your time?
-I read. I study. Because the first thing a black man has to do is respect himself. Respect his body and his mind. Quit taking the white man's poison into your body: his cigarettes, his dope, his liquor, his white woman, his pork.
-That's what Mama used to say.
-Come on, daddy, pull my coat. What happens if you give all that up? You get sick or somethin'? I pulled a hustle once and got out of the draft.
-I'm telling you God's words, not no hustle. I'm talking the words of Elijah, the black man's God. I'm telling you, boy, that God is black.
-What? Everybody knows God is White.
-But everything the white man taught you, you learned. He told you you were a black heathen and you believed him. He told you how he took you out of darkness and brought you to the light. And you believed him. He taught you to worship a blond, blue-eyed God with white skin -- and you believed him. He told you black was a
-What for?
-Did you ever study anything wasn't part of some con?
-What the hell for, man?
-Go on, fool; the marble shooters are waiting for you.
-I can't make out that shit.
-That's bullshit. That's a white man's book. Ain't all these white man's books?
-They sure ain't no black man's books in here.
-Then what you telling me to study in them for?
-You got to learn everything the white man says and use it against him. The truth is laying there if you smart and read behind their words. It's buried there. You got to dig it out.
-Man, I'm studying in the man's book. I don't dig half the words.
-Look 'em up and and out what they mean.
-Where am I gonna start?
-Aardvark, noun. An earth pig; an ant- eating African mammal. Man, that sounds like the dozens.
-Ole Pete ain't much in the head, but he can lay in there with the wood.
-You pitch, baby; I'll ketch.
-Sure, white man throw us a bone and that's supposed to make us forget 400 years.
-A black man playing big league ball is something.
-Little.
-I'm not Malcolm Little and I'm not Satan.
-Allah has sent us a prophet, a black man named Elijah Muhammad. For if God is black, Malcolm --
-Then the devil is white.
-I knew you'd hear me. The white man is the devil. All white men are devils.
-I sure met some.
-The body is a holy repository.
-I will not touch the white man's poison: his drugs, his liquor, his carrion, his women.
-I will do it.
-I can't.
-For evil to bend its knee, admit its guilt, implore His forgiveness, is the hardest thing on earth --
-I want to, Bembry, but I can't.
--- the hardest and the greatest.
-I can't.
-For evil to bend its knee, admit its guilt, implore His forgiveness, is the hardest thing on earth --
-I want to, Bembry, but I can't.
--- the hardest and the greatest.
-I don't know what to say to Allah.
-Yeah. When I was picking a lock to rob somebody's house.
-Tell Him that.
-I don't know how.
-You can grovel and crawl for sin, but not to save your soul. Pick the lock, Malcolm; pick it.
-Brother Bembry, can we fix it so our loudspeaker is heard on the street?
-Now about our coming up in the world a little. You're not naive. You're a man of the world. The Movement's grown; we've grown with it. You know folks. They want their leaders to be prosperous. One hand washes the other.
-"I'm telling you God's words, not to hustle."
-What can I do for you?
-Do you?
-Not exactly, but I want to be one, like you.
-We need more young warriors like yourself, stick around and we shall see if your heart is true.
-I'll have it tomorrow.
-You are now Benjamin 2X.
-All praises are due to Allah. Thank you, Brother Minister.
-Is the program ready?
-No, Brother Minister.
-Folks are sitting out there today, not next week, expecting to hear our program.
-Next week, Brother Minister.
-Make it plain.
-What?
-Sure I'll speak to your class. But I'm a hard man on women. You want to know why?
-Women talk too much. To tell a woman not to talk is like telling Jesse James not to carry a gun or a hen not to cackle. And Samson, the strongest man that ever lived, was destroyed by the woman who slept in his arms.
-What points?
-Considering today's standards of animal raising and curing meats, I don't fully understand the restriction on pork.
-I see your point.
-Could we sit down someplace?
-I'm sorry. I've had you on your feet for hours.
-That's something I haven't done in fifteen years.
-What?
-Sat down with a pretty girl and had an ice cream soda.
-How do you like it?
-Let's talk about you for a change.
-There's nothing to talk about.
-Oh, yes, there is. I know a lot about you. Brother Bembry briefed me.
-Oh? Purely scientific interest I'm sure.
-You're from Detroit, near where I come from. You majored in education at Tuskegee. You're studying nursing and having trouble with your family.
-I can handle it.
-They want you to quit the Muslims or they won't pay your tuition, isn't that it?
-You have enough worries of your own.
-No, good Sisters are rare. We need every one. Tell me something: how tall are you?
-Why do you ask?
-Just an idle question.
-But Brother Bembry says I'm tall enough for a tall man.
-How old are you, Betty?
-There's a few things you don't know about women, Brother Malcolm. They're possessive and vain.
-Are you?
-And dogged when I set my mind to something.
-What have you set your mind to?
-I'm in Detroit.
-I know.
-At a gas station. Will you marry me?
-Yes.
-Did you hear what I said?
-Yes I did. Did you hear my answer?
-I think so. Can you catch a plane?
-Yes. Did you eat?
-It won't be easy.
-Just hold me.
-It will be rough.
-Hush your mouth.
-I'll be away a lot.
-I never told you, but when I first saw you on the podium, cleaning your glasses, I felt sorry for you. Nobody as young as you should be that serious. But I don't think that anymore.
-What do you think?
-Why are you looking at me like that?
-Because you're in trouble.
-I don't want to bring my troubles home. You know that.
-I'm not made of glass.
-I just want to sit here and be still.
-We've never had a fight. Not a real one. But we're going to have one right now if you don't talk about it.
-Talk about what?
-The talk is everywhere!
-There's always talk, always been talk, and always will be talk. Don't they say how I'm trying to take over the Nation, how I'm getting rich off the Nation?
-"Los Angeles, UPI: Elijah Muhammad, 67-year-old leader of the Black Muslim Movement, today faced paternity suits from two former secretaries who charged he fathered their four children..."
-There are always slanders, always lies. You're reading the devil's lies. Can't you see they're trying to bring us down, bring down the Messenger.
-"Both women, in their 20's, charged they had had intimacies with Elijah Muhammad since 1957..."
-I was going to talk to Bembry about it tonight.
-To Bembry? Is Bembry your friend?
-No, what's the matter with you? Wake up! Are you so dedicated that you have blinded yourself? Are you so committed you cannot face the truth? Bembry is the editor of the newspaper you established. Ask him why your name hasn't been in "Muhammad Speaks" in over a year? Ask him why you rate front page in every paper in the country, but not
-I'm not interested in personal publicity. Our people know what I'm doing.
-Do you know what Bembry is doing? You're so blind, everyone can see this but you!!!
-Bembry saved my Life. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad saved my life.
-A long time ago. You've repaid them many times over. Ask them why they have new cars and houses full of new furniture.
-Is that what this is about? Material wealth?
-What do we have, Malcolm. A broken- down jalopy and the clothes on our backs. We don't even own our own home. What about our children? What about me? You don't even own life insurance.
-The Nation will provide for you and the children if anything happens to me.
-Dear heart, you have to help me. I'm raising our kids practically by myself, while you're running all over the world. You don't know how many times the girls ask me when is daddy coming home?
-What do you want me to do? Our people need me.
-We need you too!
-What do you want me to do?
-Get some sleep.
-I'm sorry. I haven't been the best husband or father.
-Shhh!
-Families shouldn't be separated. I'll never make another long trip without you and the kids. We'll all be together.
-Dear heart, I love you.
-Stop calling us. Leave us alone. Leave us alone. I'll kill you. I'll kill you.
-Malcolm, they keep calling, threatening us. I'm going crazy, when is this going to stop?
-Don't answer the phone. It's all right. It's all right. Nothing is gonna happen to anybody.
-Dear heart, where are you?
-At the Hilton. The girls asleep?
-I just put them to bed. Can we come to the meeting tomorrow?
-I want to also, but until we are instructed by the Messenger to do so, we will just wait and pray.
-I'm tired of praying.
-I don't care about myself, my wife and four children were sleeping in their beds, they have nothing to do with this.
-Brother Earl.
-I'm gonna try and get some work done tonight.
-Let some of us come down there.
-No, that won't be necessary. I'll be all right.
-I wish you'd listen to us. What about the meeting tomorrow? We need to frisk people.
-Reverend Chickenwing called last night and said he wouldn't be able to attend.
-So now we have no opening speaker? Why wasn't I informed last night?
-I called Sister Betty, she didn't tell you?
-Since when do you start telling Sister Betty my business? Since when? She has nothing to do with this. You tell me, not her, not anybody else.
-I assumed...
-Brother Minister, what is wrong?
-The way I feel, I ought not to go out there today. In fact, I'm going to ease some of this tension by telling the black man not to fight himself -- that's all a part of the white man's big maneuver, to keep us fighting amongst ourselves, against each other. I'm not fighting anyone, that's not what we're here for.
-Let's cancel.
-Is my family here yet?
-Do you know what a friend you have in Jesus, son?
-Why don't you just ask your question?
-You've been talking about the disciples. What color were they?
-They were Hebrew, weren't they?
-That's right.
-As Jesus was. Jesus was also a Hebrew.
-Just what is your question?
-What color were the original Hebrews?
-I told you we don't know for certain.
-Now just a moment, just a moment --
-But we do know that the people of that region of Asia Minor, from the Tigris-Euphrates valley to the Mediterranean, are dark-skinned people. I've studied drawings and photographs and seen newsreels. I have never seen a native of that area who was not black.
-Just what are you saying?
-Mr. X is a demagogue. He has no place to go, so he exaggerates. He's a disservice to every good law-abiding Negro in the country. Can I ask you a question?
-Please, go ahead.
-Mr. Malcolm X, why do you teach black supremacy? Why do you teach hate?
-Stop me if I'm wrong. I "polarize the community." I "erroneously appraise the racial picture."
-You put it very well.
-You left one phrase out. Another educated Kneegrew said to me and I quote: "Brother Malcolm oversimplifies the dynamic interstices of the Negro subculture." Would you agree?
-Entirely.
-Let him finish.
-If you want to tell me.
-If I surprise you, let me explain. Menial work teaches us humility.
-Let me do it then.
-No, each of us must relearn that work is the only worthwhile thing. Allah has given you a great gift. Use it wisely, never forgetting that we are nothing, while He is all.
-Did you see the papers today?
-Yes, sir, I did.
-Can I ask you something?
-Sure, man.
-Are you Elijah's pimp?
-What?
-"His greatest greatness."
-Say what you're saying.
-I thought you said we were going to the movies last night.
-I say a lot of things.
-And like a fool I believe it.
-You know that gal?
-Mind your own goddamn business... She comes in a lot?
-'Bout every other night, Red.
-She know?
-Is she hooking?
-The average first offender gets two years for burglary. We were all first offenders. That's what Sophia and Peg drew --
-Two years in the Women's Reformatory at Framingham.
-But our crime wasn't burglary. It was balling white girls. They gave us the book.
-Fourteen counts of 8 to 10 years.
-The sentences to run concurrently.
-'Lo. I've got to freshen up.
-I better not come in.
-I ain't stupid.
-I mean it's late, baby.
-I know where you're going.
-Baby, I'll call you tomorrow.
-Malcolm, you can be anything you want. You got class and you're smart.
-All them books you read and you still don't know nuthin.
-Let's go.
-Why? Is it because of your white gal? Folks say you're running around town with her.
-It's the same questions, Mrs. Little. Since the death of your husband --
-Murder.
--- there is a serious question as to whether --
-These are my children. Mine. And they ain't no question. None.
-I think sometimes, Mrs. Little, candor is the only kindness.
-All of your children are delinquent, Mrs. Little, and one, at least, Malcolm is a thief.
-Get out.
-Your control over your children, therefore --
-Did you hear me?!
-You'll regret this, Mrs. Little.
-How many you turning out?
-500.
-Make it 1000. We got a lot of fishing to do.
-Thank you, Brother; Sister, how are you?
-Another one?
-How long has this been going on?
-All day since you and Betty left. Brother Minister, I have to level with you. They gave me a mission. But I couldn't do it. I love y'all.
-What mission?
-To wire your car so it would explode when you turned the ignition. The Ministers say you are spreading untruths about the Messenger. The Ministers say you are a great hypocrite, Judas, Benedict Arnold. The Ministers say your tongue should be cut out and delivered to the Messenger's doorstep.
-What does Sidney say?
-I'm with you, Brother Minister.
-No. You'll be marked for death.
-Let me die then.
-I won't let myself come between you and your father. Go home.
-You're my father.
-Sheeet, you ain't. I had aplenty.
-That's alright. Baby, take your time. Sophia's not going anywhere. I told you to walk, don't run.
-You like 'em scrambled soft or hard, sweetie?
-Sweetie, they're almost ready.
-You the man.
-You evil this morning.
-Yeah, girl; that's your story. When you gonna holler "rape," sister?
-Me?
-You will, baby -- if the time come.
-Baby, I was gonna give it to you.
-You had the number.
-Well, all right, then.
-Hey, man, gimme some skin.
-That's a fine chick.
-Fine as May wine.
-Except she live on the hill and got a grandma.
-Don't you know, you can't hump the Bogart.
-Bang, bang. You're dead.
-I forgot to tell you I'm wearing a bulletproof vest.
-The hell you are.
-I'm tired of always playing the cops. I wanna be Bogart sometimes.
-You're too small to be Bogart.
-Yeah and get a slave, too, huh, baby?
-I ain't doing bad.
-Jesus, Red, she's just a kid.
-That ain't bad.
-Don't never try to cross someone who ain't afraid to die.
-What did you do, Homey, palm it?
-Palmed it right in the goddam chamber.
-I got to hand it to you, Homey. That's the best preacher hype I ever did hear.
-It isn't a hype, Shorty. And I meant what I said: join us.
-Come on, baby. I don't pay that shit no mind.
-The Honorable Elijah Muhammad says you should pay it all your mind. If you got a mind.
-Baby, I love you. Take it easy, greasy. How about a snort?
-I've been clean for twelve years, Shorty.
-You is something, Homeboy. My trouble is -- I ain't had enough stuff yet, I ain't et all the ribs I want and I sure ain't had enough white tail yet.
-How's the rest of the gang? You seen anyone?
-I'm half wop, half nigger and ain't afraid of no one.
-Then I put him to bed and pour talcum powder on him like a baby. He gets his jollies off.
-So what about him?
-So? The man got silver, china, rugs --
-Might be all right.
-You want to be the head man?
-That's right.
-Head nigger in charge?
-I'm the man.
-Your turn, Rudy. You want me to flip for you?
-I'm Minister Malcolm X. Two witnesses saw him brought in. He was not brought out.
-Who the hell are they?
-Brothers of Brother Johnson.
-Only a pig could do a thing like that.
-Watch your tongue, boy.
-Brother Minister he often talked about you. He loves you, loves you like his own son. Says you are the best, his greatest Minister but that someday you would leave him and turn against him.
-He told you that?
-Yes sir.
-Are you sure?
-Yes, I am, Brother Minister. All I want is support for my children. He should provide for his children. That's all I want.
-We were parceled out, all five of us. I went to this reform school and lived at this woman's house. She was in charge.
-This is your room, Malcolm. I know you'll keep it clean.
-This is Malcolm, our new guest. We'll treat him like a brother.
-I was special. The only colored kid in class. I became a sort of mascot. Like a pink poodle.
-I didn't know then that I was a nigger.
-He's bright.
-They talked about me like
-Good grades. Fine athlete. President of his class.
-What am I doing here?
-Believe it or not, you're safe here. The Judicial police will kill you. If they can. This page?
-You have a rather checkered past. Mr. Creasy. Your Interpol file is six pages long.
-Am I a suspect?
-Show me mugshots of Mexican policemen. Maybe then we'll get somewhere.
-Hombre en fuego. Man On Fire. That's what the papers have named you.
-It's what you and Rosanna named me. Right?
-The last few days may represent the best police work of my life.
-What do you want?
-The same thing as you. Except, my reach isn't as long as yours. My father was a policemen, did you know that?
-I don't know shit about you.
-My family lives in Miami. Because of the death threats.
-It's not worth it. Be with them instead.
-It galls me to watch you. You can do as much in days as I can in years. Men like the 'The Dreamer' are protected. Out of everyone's grasp it seems, but yours.
-My country needs justice. Proper justice. Gunning men down in the street only feeds the violence. They need to be brought to trial. Dealt with properly. Then people will respect the law. When they see it works.
-So you are going to talk me to death.
-You walk out and deal justice. You're what I wish I could be. The policemen who kills you, his family will have all they want.
-Then I hope the one who gets me has got lots of kids. What do you want?
-I want to arrest you for murder! I want to shake your hand and reload your gun! I want to kill my pride and give you my blessing.
-My deal is with Rosanna. I knew you guys were up to something. Are you two fucking?
-No, but I have to admit I thought about it.
-Liar. Just tell me who the bank card belongs to. Name and address.
-You have no interest in making things easy, do you?
-Creasy... I'd have liked to have known you under different circumstances.
-[Where are you coming from?]
-[South America.]
-[Where are you staying in Mexico?]
-[I'm on to Juarez.]
-[Why?]
-[Senor?]
-A lot of people are looking for you.
-I guess that makes you the smart one.
-It's Santa Muerte. Death worship. The religion of La Hermanidad. There's a curse on you.
-Maybe I can help your situation and you mine.
-So where do we begin?
-I need the name and address of the owner of a Toyota Corolla, license number ME31704... We didn't get the last digit so I need the ten possible matches.
-So what do I get in return?
-I need something. Do you have banking connections?
-Where do I find you?
-What do you know about the cop? Tazinari. The one who made the ransom drop with Samuel Ramos?
-He's an old fashioned patrone with the worst reputation. He's high on my hit list.
-Where does he live?
-He lives in a Judicial Compound. He travels by motorcade. He has better protection than George Bush. Even more importantly he is part of La Hermanidad. His reach is far and wide.
-Another favor... get me banking info on Jordan Kalfus. U.S. deposits or withdrawals. Thanks. Oh, get me the same on Samuel Ramos.
-How do I contact you? We still don't have the ATM info.
-I traced the PIN. I have an address for you. But I need to see you.
-I show, you give me the information?
-Deal.
-[Reina Rosas.]
-[Si.]
-[We page him and he calls back on this cell phone.]
-[What is his name?]
-[Daniel.]
-[Daniel Rosas Sanchez.]
-[What is his name?]
-[How does it work?]
-[Who pays you?]
-[What's the PIN number?]
-[The what?]
-[The number you use at the bank machine.]
-[Four-seven-four-seven.]
-[Who killed her? You?]
-[No!]
-[Don't lie to me.]
-[The boss did or his brother.]
-[Who's the boss?]
-[What money?]
-[The ransom money. At the drop. He said Tazinari, one of the policemen had taken it. He was crazy.]
-[Who's Tazinari?]
-[She's late, Mr. Creasy.]
-[Yeah, I've got to get used to the routes. I -- It won't happen again.]
-[No offense, but I'm sorry that your profession needs to exist.]
-[So am I, Sister.]
-[Do you ever see the hand of God in what you do?]
-[Not for a long time, sister.]
-[The bible says, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."]
-[Drive.]
-[Do you know who I am?]
-[Do you know who I am?]
-[Who are you?]
-[The Ramos kidnapping. How did it work?]
-[I don't know. We were just given instructions to take her.]
-[I don't know! We work in parts. A voice calls in a kidnapping. We deliver the target to the guardians. We don't even know them. They might transfer to other guardians. The negotiators and the bosses don't even see the target. They just make the deal!]
-[Who ordered it?]
-[The cops call him 'The Dreamer'.]
-[Where do I find him?]
-[I don't know, I swear.]
-[I believe you.]
-[I'm professional. I just do my job.]
-[Me, too. Tell me about the guardians.]
-[He called me on the cell phone to set a time and location for the switch.]
-[Who's he?]
-Who's he?
-[I see him sometimes at the handball court in Chapultepec on a Saturday afternoon.]
-[How do I recognize him.]
-[He has a tattoo covering two-thirds of his back. He is part of the Brotherhood.]
-[In the next hour, where do I find your partner?]
-[Hello Daniel. I've got your family and I want to negotiate.]
-[Mr. Creasy. What do you want?]
-[How much do you want?]
-[It's non-negotiable.]
-[Two million U.S.... Three million U.S.?]
-[The most important thing in life is family. And there you are. You have my family. What do you want?]
-[I want you.]
-[This is not possible. But in that house I have money. If I tell you where --]
-[Yeah. Yes.]
-[Listen! I will give you a life for a life.]
-[What do you mean?]
-[The girl's. Pinta's.]
-[You're a liar. Pinta's dead.]
-[Do you know who I am? I am the commandante of the Judicial anti- kidnapping division.]
-[And one of the founding members of La Hermanidad.]
-[Please, don't...]
-[I don't know him. I saw the opportunity and got lucky.]
-[Lucky how?]
-[That he used policemen. That you killed them, it made it a police matter. The Ramos family couldn't refuse our involvement.]
-[And?]
-[And I had my men ready.]
-[Yes. Many times.]
-[O.K. So tell me more.]
-[There was no ten million dollars.]
-[The ransom was ten.]
-[Two and a half. That's how much there was.]
-[Don't lie to me!]
-[Maybe your men stole from you.]
-[No. Whoever took the rest took it before the exchange.]
-[Who gave the bags to Ramos?]
-[That's all I know! Please. I'm sorry for the girl. But it was business! I'm a professional.]
-Were you provided with a gun?
-Yes.
-What is it?
-Nine millimeter. A Sig Sauer 226.
-Is it loaded?
-Your resume is impressive. Nine years in the Army. Extensive counter terrorism work. I shouldn't be able to afford you in my current state. What's the catch?
-I drink.
-How does it affect you?
-My coordination. Reaction time. If top professionals try to kidnap your daughter, the service will be on par with the pay.
-And what if amateurs try it?
-I'll probably kill them. Is that likely?
-When did Mexican Customs start getting smart?
-Creasy??? Where the fuck are you?
-I'm here.
-What do you mean, I'm here?
-You got a secondary search and you had a gun.
-Listen it was a calculated risk. I've done it a million times and never got caught.
-Everything happens once if you live long enough.
-It doesn't make sense to x-ray your bags coming off the plane.
-So what's wrong?
-Nothing wrong.
-So how's business?
-Japanese are here in a big way. Cheap labor. Factory space. But they feel a lot safer living over the border in El Paso. I ferry 'em back and forth. They think I'm John-fucking- Wayne.
-But don't you stay in El Paso?
-Yeah, right...
-Oh, like you haven't been in worse places.
-You been working?
-Not for eight months. I was in Columbia looking around, but, nothing seemed interesting.
-How long you staying, Crease?
-You did something on impulse?
-Your Spanish is good enough. You certainly look the part.
-You're crazy. People would hire a has-been, Ray? A drunk?
-Well, you'd have to keep it under control.
-And what if, just say, there was a kidnap attempt?
-It's not exactly a scam, Crease. Even at half speed you're pretty damn good.
-A bodyguard has to be close to someone all the time. Willing to talk. I'm not good at that.
-What are you doing here?
-I came to visit you.
-Bullshit. I've known you fifteen years. You don't visit.
-A bodyguard... Who's the guy?
-Samuel Ramos. Owns one of the plants in Juarez. The Jap car industry is in the toilet. He's trying to persuade Ford to partner with him. I think he's in trouble. He asked me if I knew anyone he could trust.
-Oh, now you think I can be trusted.
-There's still ink on my fingers from last week.
-You mean a misfire?
-I mean nothing. The hammer came down and nothing happened. Dimple on the primer.
-I've heard of it. Never happened to me though. Maybe the firing pin's off.
-Creasy?
-Then one day, he calls and says, 'I'm in love and I'm moving to Mexico.' I said what happened to the plan?
-You got three of the fuckers. All dead.
-Pinta...
-Stomach's gone. But... okay.
-Fuck. Look at you; you won't last a day the shape you're in. Unless you stop bleeding you should have your spleen removed.
-Yes or no?
-I'll take the .45 and the Webley .32.
-Cut the stock here. The barrel here. Make sure you file it smooth. Rocket launchers?
-Do you like dogs, Mr. Creasy?
-If they like me.
-Frank doesn't take to most people. Do you speak German?
-Ein Klines Bisschen. [A tiny bit.]
-That's 'Bird.' Emilio forgot to take him with when he left.
-Who's Emilio?
-In between you can take Mom shopping and to lunch. Does that sound alright, Mr. Creasy?
-Creasy. Just call me Creasy.
-Where are you from, Creasy?
-The United States.
-No.
-You can drive and talk at the same time, can't you?
-No.
-Why not?
-Potential? I don't understand.
-Places where the road bends, places away from buildings, places where the traffic thins out. But you don't have to understand. I do. So no talking.
-Are you going to quit? My last bodyguard quit.
-Let me guess, you wouldn't stop talking?
-Someone gave him more money than we could.
-I'm a bargain.
-Being black, is that a positive or negative for a bodyguard in Mexico?
-Time will tell.
-There were 24 kidnappings in Mexico City in the last six days. Four a day. What do you think about that, Mr. Creasy?
-We're taking a different way home.
-Did you like school, Creasy?
-No.
-Not at all?
-No.
-Hmmm?
-It wasn't a school like yours and there was no Sister Anna.
-So you were unhappy?
-Being unhappy is a state of mind. I never thought about it.
-And don't start crying.
-Pinta, do you have a pencil?
-You're fast.
-What are you doing?
-Calling for Emilio's macaw. I thought I heard him.
-Do you think he'll come back?
-Maybe. Did you hear him?
-No.
-How do you think he got out?
-Well, I let him go.
-It's better to be free, right?
-They'll be back in a week.
-It hurts.
-Where?
-I don't think they're broken. Anywhere else?
-The night you arrived, Mom asked you if you had a family and you lied, didn't you?
-Do you always sleep with him?
-I'm too old for him. Don't tell my friends.
-Did you sleep alright?
-Yes.
-How's the ankle? Can you put your weight on it?
-It's not too bad. Will it take a long time before it's better? Our big swim meet is in three weeks. Interschools. I was going to swim in the one hundred meter freestyle.
-Doesn't matter. I always finish second.
-Why do you ask?
-Well, it's a sort of wife.
-But the Emperor of China had 1000 of them! How can that be?
-In the West, it's one wife for one husband, but different cultures have different rules.
-It must be difficult having lots of wives.
-You feel sorry for the husband?
-So how come you know so much about those countries?
-I had to do my homework on them when I worked there. Also I enjoy history.
-What did you do in Asia? Is that where you met the man with cigarettes?
-You don't flinch when a gun goes off; you react. You go. Don't listen for the sound; don't anticipate it. Concentrate on the sound itself.
-I don't understand.
-Remember you asked me what state I was from?
-Yes.
-Where you're from isn't so much about geography; it's about events. Where you're from is what happened to you.
-Good things happen, too, Creasy. Like meeting me.
-Do you have a girlfriend, Creasy?
-No.
-Did you used to?
-You're late.
-I'm sorry.
-Where's my mother?
-I dropped her at home.
-I'm not afraid you, Creasy.
-I know you're not.
-The gunshot holds no fear. Say it.
-The gunshot holds no fear.
-I'm tough, Creasy. I'm tough as you.
-What's so important in Los Angeles?
-Your father has business.
-The blocks.
-Could I ask you a question?
-Could I stop you?
-You don't drink like you used to.
-That's not a question.
-I know because I go in your room and check the bottles.
-Still not a question.
-My mom drinks, too... Why do people drink, Creasy?
-Now that's a question. I don't know about your Mom. For me, the problem isn't in the glass. The problem's in between my ears.
-You think too much?
-Pinta, we've got to go. Travel sucks at this time.
-That's strange. Frank was a no-show. Not like him to miss a ride.
-You should break all my fingers, Creasy, then tape them back together. I won't be able to play the piano, but I could still swim.
-Don't be a baby. You're tougher than that.
-There's no such thing as tough, Creasy. Just trained and untrained.
-Then be trained.
-I'm going to keep people safe someday. Just like you.
-Be a swimmer.
-Continue to play in the wrong key, like you're dyslexic.
-Dyslexic?
-Like St. Jude. A hopeless case that has a complete block about 'C' Minor. But remember, "Whoever resists authority will bring judgement upon themselves." New Testament, Romans 13.
-You got that right.
-The world of our children. How dare they?
-It's war. The weakest suffer the most.
-You're American.
-You've done much of this work before?
-Mr. Creasy, I wanted to make sure you have everything you need.
-I'm fine.
-Is the food alright? Maria tells me that you didn't eat.
-The food's fine. Sometimes I don't eat.
-How are you getting along with Pinta?
-We'll be okay once she realizes I'm not a new toy.
-Yes, she told me. Do you have children, Mr. Creasy?
-No.
-You should know they're tenacious when they want something. And Pinta wants to be friends.
-Look. Maybe this isn't going to work. Maybe you should ask your husband to hire someone... more sociable.
-It makes it all seem so serious.
-It is serious, Mrs. Ramos.
-Sorry.
-Jordan!
-Why are you here? Why didn't you die?
-They planned it, Samuel and Kalfus.
-Planned what?
-I don't believe you.
-I want you to get into your car now and meet me on the south end of the footbridge between Reforma and the freeway junction. In 45 minutes.
-You're lying. I don't believe you.
-Creasy... Wait.
-Rosanna Guerrero.
-It's Creasy.
-Where are you?
-Los Arcos. Was a little girl kidnapped recently? About twelve maybe?
-Last night. Do you know something?
-What was her name?
-The family paid the ransom and he was returned two days later. His father still hasn't gotten up the nerve to ask him if they fucked him up the ass.
-And now every mother with money in Mexico City wants bigger and better bodyguards. My own wife included.
-If she pisses you off, you get another one.
-Of course I care about Pinta. She'll be as beautiful as her mother one day.
-All my clients have kidnap and ransom insurance.
-I have a policy, AIG. It covers me and my family and when it runs out in sixty days, without a bodyguard, I will not be able to renew it.
-I know you need to please Lisa. An ass like that is hard to find. Good bodyguards are even harder.
-You need a bodyguard of some description. It's a dangerous world we live in. But you will get what you pay for. He doesn't need to be Superman, does he? Can you go fifteen grand?
-For a year?
-And Lisa will be able to save face. We won't be the only family without a bodyguard.
-Her beauty fucks with your mind.
-For an American she understands this country very well.
-[You have the money.]
-[Yes.]
-[OK, repeat the drop instructions.]
-[The money, 10 million U.S. will be divided into two 15 gallon black canvas bags each containing five million which will be checked at the bank by the K&R agent. Then driven to the house in an armored car where it will be transferred to the delivery car.]
-[I need a driver to drive Samuel, the father.]
-[No. Why?]
-[He has a heart condition. Angina. He responds badly to stress.]
-You should be sleeping, baby.
-Good news. You're going back to school.
-When?
-Could he speak English? Emilio couldn't speak English.
-Yes, mom?
-I like him, Mom.
-You do?
-I think he's been sick. He's alright now, but I think he's been very, very sick.
-Bye, Mom.
-I'll call you from Detroit, baby.
-A man's worth can be judged by what he has or what he owes. Only the amount matters.
-And bankruptcy. Where will that put me in the social strata?
-I'm only asking for one thing. And it's not an extravagance. It's not even for me; it's for our daughter.
-Our child's safety is at stake.
-These people are professionals. They don't waste their time taking children whose fathers are virtually bankrupt.
-My wife, Mr. Creasy.
-He has experience in related work. A great deal of it.
-I think it's nice he's American.
-I think it's fantastic.
-She likes him.
-Hmm?
-Creasy. Pinta likes him.
-He has to go, Samuel.
-What? Who?
-Creasy.
-Why? You were so pleased with him.
-Pinta likes him too much. She thinks of him as a father.
-That's ridiculous.
-I've just been so busy, Lisa.
-It will be a hard break.
-She's young. She'll get over it.
-[A bodyguard was shot trying to protect a 9 year old. The bodyguard's American. Not only that he's black.]
-[Is that good or bad?]
-[He'll die of his wounds; bleed to death before he can do anything.]
-[Because he's outside. Because he's not tied to the same system we are.]
-[I know this. Your point?]
-[Then what do you have to lose?]
-[Is it true? Creasy saved the little girl that was kidnapped yesterday.]
-[When you talked to him, did he look sane?]
-[No. Not by the rules of polite society at least.]
-[You only fuck me to get information.]
-[You only give information so you can fuck me.]
-[And as long as we're talking information, there's something else as well.]
-[Who's that?]
-He's not a cop killer.
-I'm sure he isn't. Though he's certainly adept at killing.
-He was doing his job, protecting the girl. If police were involved, you figure it out. I'm here for him.
-Pollo Pibil. Chicken and chorizo sausage. Hmmmh. They marinate it in lemon and orange juice. It's a stew really.
-Tell me about your friend Creasy.
-You just said it. He's my friend. Nothing else to say.
-I read the file. You and Creasy have been seen quite a bit together.
-Two tourists who never went home.
-You helped him get this job.
-That's what friends do.
-Yes. But if I traced Creasy to you, others will do it as well. Their facilities are as good as my own, if not better.
-I can take care of myself.
-You and Creasy both. A two man army according to Interpol. Panama. Lebanon with the Druze. Desert Storm. Where you were contracted by the U.S. Army to hunt down elite Iraqi military commanders. You two were a married couple.
-The kind that gets divorced, but still stay friends.
-None of your business. Or mine for that matter. I got nothing more to say.
-This is my jurisdiction. I want these men as much as Creasy does.
-He'll deliver more justice in a weekend, than ten years of your courts and tribunals. So stay out of his way.
-I plan to. I'll even help him if I can. He's going to lead me to the 'The Dreamer'. Someone I want very badly. But I'd like to understand him. Give me that.
-Pinta Martin Ramos is just a number to you. Tragic, a public outcry, but a number. One more dead.
-What was she to Creasy then?
-Light. At the end of a long, dark tunnel. Somehow, she showed him it was alright to live again.
-And they took that away.
-I told you she wasn't especially attractive, but that she had a good deal of charm, and she's really a real nice girl...
-She's all right, Andy. It's just that I get one Saturday night off every three weeks, and I was expecting something better, that's all.
-I told you she wasn't attractive...
-You told me that she was a little tall, but that she wasn't bad looking at all.
-Millie's been after me to fix her up with a date, so I...
-Hey, Herbie...
-What?
-You wanna have a drink before we start dancing?
-So waddaya feel like doing tonight?
-I don't know, Ang'. Wadda you feel like doing?
-Well, we oughta do something. It's Saturday night. I don't wanna go bowling like last Saturday. How about calling up that big girl we picked up inna movies about a month ago in the RKO Chester?
-Which one was that?
-That big girl that was sitting in front of us with the skinny friend.
-Oh, yeah.
-We took them home alla way out in Brooklyn. Her name was Mary Feeney. What do you say? You think I oughta give her a ring? I'll take the skinny one.
-She probably got a date by now, Angie.
-Well, let's call her up. What can we lose?
-I didn't like her, Angie. I don't feel like calling her up.
-Well, what do you feel like doing tonight?
-I don't know. What do you feel like doing?
-Well, we're back to that, huh? I say to you, "What do you feel like doing tonight?" And you say to me, "I don't know, what do you feel like doing?" And then we wind up sitting around your house with a coupla cansa beer, watching Sid Caesar on television. Well, I tell you what I feel like doing. I feel like calling up
-What makes you say that?
-I could see she likes you.
-Yeah, sure.
-I'll call her up.
-Boy, you're getting to be a real drag, you know that?
-Angie, I'm thirty-four years old. I been looking for a girl every Saturday night of my life. I'm tired of looking. Everybody's always telling me to get married. Get married. Get married. Don't you think I wanna get married? I wanna get married. They drive me crazy. Now, I don't wanna wreck your Saturday night for you, Angie. You wanna go somewhere, you go
-My old lady, every word outta her mouth, when you gonna get married?
-So what do you feel like doing tonight?
-Not a bad crowd tonight, you know?
-There was one nice-looking one there inna black dress and beads, but she's dancing now.
-There's a nice-looking little short one for you right now.
-Where?
-Yeah, she looks all right from here.
-Well, waddaya say, you wanna ask them? I'll take the one inna green dress.
-Where you been, for Pete sakes?! I been looking all over for you.
-I looked for you, Angie, before I cut out, but I couldn't find you.
-Waddaya gonna do now?
-I'm gonna take Clara home. It's close to one.
-You want me to ride down with you?
-What for?
-It's early.
-It must be one o'clock.
-It's Saturday night! There's still plenty-a action around!
-All right, I'll see you!
-We gotta whole pot inna kitchen. We give you a plate-a your own.
-Who you gonna call?
-I was gonna call that girl from last night. Take her to a movie tonight.
-Are you kidding?
-Listen, Angie, I wanna tell you, you were very impolite last night. I introduced you to the girl, you just turned and walked off. Now, why did you do that?
-Marty, let's go downna Seventy-Second Street area tonight.
-I don't feel like going, Angie. I thought I'd take this girl to a movie.
-Boy, you really musta made out good last night.
-We just talked.
-I didn't think she was so bad-looking.
-I told this dog I was gonna call her today about two-thirty.
-Brush her. Listen, you wanna come with me tonight, or you wanna go with this dog?
-Waddaya getting so sore about?
-Marty, your mother wants you onna phone.
-Hello, Lou, Angie come in yet?
-He was here last night till about two o'clock. I hear you really got stuck with a dog last night.
-Who told you that?
-Angie. He says she was a real scrawny- looking thing.
-Hey! What are you doing here?
-I gotta pain in my left side, and my leg throbs like a drum.
-I been getting a pain in my shoulder.
-I gotta pains in my shoulder too. I have a pain in my hip, and my right arm aches so much I can't sleep. It's a curse to be old. How you feel?
-I feel fine.
-We gotta postcard from my son Nickie and his bride. They're inna big hotel in Florida on their honeymoon. Everything is very nice.
-That's nice. I gotta letter from my husband's cousin in Abruzzi. His mother died.
-Oh.
-Do you remember Emilio DiGiorgio, owned the tavern in Abruzzi?
-I don't think I remember him.
-Well, he died. You know who else died?
-Who?
-You know the old man upstairs in this house. Old Irishman, always drunk. He got pleurisy. He was inna hospital two weeks. He died yesterday.
-I wake up this morning, I hear the baby crying. So I wake up. I come in their room. That girl is shaking her hand atta baby. I said, "You brute! Don't you strike that baby! That's my son's baby!"
-It's her baby too, you know.
-That's my son Thomas's baby.
-Well, it ain't your baby.
-Did I tell you she threw the bottle- a milk at me?
-You told me.
-She's a witch, that one. I tell you what happen yesterday?
-What happen?
-Ufa!
-I keep one eye open when I sleep, because she's gonna come in, stab me in my bed.
-Ah?
-You son Thomas and Virginia, they come to my house this afternoon...
-Who?
-Your son Thomas and his wife Virginia...
-When was this?
-This afternoon, about four, five o'clock.
-What they say?
-My son Thomas came to see you this afternoon, and he said to you he wants to cast his mother from his house?
-So I am an old garbage bag, put inna street.
-Oh, Catherine, please! Don't make a tragedy. You come to my house where you know you be happier yourself.
-It pains that they should do this.
-Catherine, you are very dear to me. We have cried many times together. When my husband died, I would have gone insane if it were not for you. I ask you to come to my house, because I can make you happy. Please come to my house.
-These are the worst years. I tell you. It's gonna happen to you. I'm afraida look inna mirror. I'm afraid I'm gonna see an old lady with white hair, like the old ladies inna park, little bundles inna black shawl, waiting for the coffin. I'm fifty- six years old. What am I to do with myself? I have strength in my hands. I wanna
-Hey, I come home from your house last night, Marty was here with a girl.
-Who?
-Marty.
-Your son Marty?
-Well, what Marty you think is gonna be here in this house with a girl?
-Were the lights on?
-Oh sure. This girl is a college graduate.
-They're the worst. College girls are one step from the streets. They smoke like men inna saloon. My son Joseph, his wife, you know, she types onna typewriter. One step from the streets, I tell you. Mrs. Pilletti ponders this philosophy for a moment.
-Well, that's all. You will see. Today, tomorrow, inna week, he's gonna say to you, "Hey, Ma, it's no good being a single man. I'm tired-a running around." Then he's gonna say, "Hey, Ma, wadda we need this old house? Why don't we sell this old house, move into a nicer parta town? A nice little apartment?"
-I don't sell this house, I tell you that. This is my husband's house. I had six children in this house.
-You will see. A coupla months, you gonna be an old lady, sleeping onna couch in her daughter-in-law's house.
-You come up here often?
-I was up here twice before. Once with a friend of mine and once I came up alone. The last time... do you see that girl in the gray dress sitting over there?
-Yeah.
-Well, the last time I was up here, that's where I sat. I sat there for an hour and a half, without moving a muscle. Now and then, some fellow would sort of walk up to me and then change his mind. I'll never forget just sitting there for an hour and a half with my hands in my lap. Then I began to
-I cry a lot too. I'm a big cryer.
-This is something recent with me, this bursting into tears at the least thing.
-Oh, I cry all the time, any little thing. My brothers, my brother-in- laws, they're always telling me what a goodhearted guy I am. Well, you don't get goodhearted by accident. You get kicked around long enough, you get to be a real professor of pain. I know exactly how you feel. And I also want you to know I'm having a very good
-I'm having a very good time, too.
-So there you are. So I guess I'm not such a dog as I think I am.
-You're a very nice guy, and I don't know why some girl hasn't grabbed you off long ago.
-I'm twenty-nine years old. How old are you?
-...you teach chemistry? That's funny. Where? What school?
-Benjamin Franklin High School.
-You gotta real nice face, you know? It's really a nice face.
-...When I got outta the army, Clara, I was lost. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was twenny-five years old, what was I gonna do, go back to my old job, forty cents an hour. I thought maybe I go to college under the G.I. Biller Rights, you know? But I wouldn't graduate till I was twenny-eight, twenny-nine years old, even
-Yes, I know.
-I'm a Catholic, you know, and even to think about suicide is a terrible sin.
-Yes, I know.
-So then Mr. Gazzara -- he was a frienda my father -- he offered me this job in his butcher shop, and everybody pleaded with me to take it. So that's what happened. I didn't wanna be a butcher.
-There's nothing wrong with being a butcher.
-Well, I wouldn't call it an elegant profession. It's in a lower social scale. People look down on butchers.
-Well, the point is Mr. Gazzara wantsa sell his shop now, because he and his wife are lonely, and they wanna move out to California in Los Angeles and live near their married daughter. Because she's always writing them to come out there. So it's a nice little shop. I handle his books for him, so I know he has a thirty-five percent markup
-It's my feeling that you really want to buy this shop, Marty.
-Wadda you think?
-I only got about three bucks on me now, but I just live about eight blocks from here on the other side of Webster Avenue. Why don't we walk back to my house? I'll run in, pick up some dough, and let's step out somewhere.
-It's only a quarter of twelve. The clock's right over there.
-...It's really a fine opportunity for me. But I'm not sure I want to be a department head. It's mostly executive and administrative work. Well, anyway, I told you about my father, and he depends on me a great deal, and...
-Why don't you just move out to Portchester?
-I think you're kidding yourself, Clara. I used to think about moving out, you know? And that's what I used to say. "My mother needs me." But when you really get down to it, that ain't it at all. Actually, you need your father. You know what I mean? You're living at home, and you got your father and mother there, and you can
-I'm afraid of being lonely.
-Oh, you won't be so lonely. You'll make friends right away.
-Actually, I don't make friends easily.
-This is the kitchen.
-Yes, I know.
-Siddown, take off your coat. You want something to eat? We gotta whole half-chicken in the icebox.
-No, thank you. I don't think I should stay very long.
-So I was telling you, my kid brother Nickie got married last Sunday. That was a very nice affair. And they had this statue of some woman, and they had whiskey spouting outta her mouth. I never saw anything so grand in my life. And watta meal. I'm a butcher, so I know a good hunka steak when I see one. That was choice
-Oh, I'm fine.
-You want me to take you home, I'll take you home.
-No, Marty, please...
-I like you. I like you. I been telling you all night, I like you...
-Marty...
-No...
-Please...
-No...
-Please...
-Waddaya doing tomorrow night?
-Nothing.
-I'll call you up tomorrow morning. Maybe, we'll go see a movie.
-I'd like that very much.
-The reason I can't be definite about it now is my Aunt Catherine is probably coming over tomorrow, and I may have to help out.
-I'll wait for your call.
-We better get started to your house, because the buses only run about one an hour now.
-Waddaya doing New Year's Eve?
-What happened, Angie, was that we thought we were just gonna go for a short walk, and then we thought we were gonna come right back, but we got to talking. Listen, Angie, I want you to meet Clara... Clara, this is my best friend, Angie. I told you about him.
-You got an elevator in this house?
-We just live one flight up.
-So I'll call you tomorrow.
-Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow night then.
-Siddown, siddown. You want some chicken? We got some chicken in the ice box.
-No, Mrs. Pilletti. We were just going home. Thank you very much anyway.
-No, thank you, really, Mrs. Pilletti.
-It's a very sad business, I tell you. A woman, fifty-six years old, all her life, she had her own home. Now she's just an old lady, sleeping on her daughter-in-law's couch. It's a curse to be a mother, I tell you. Your children grow up and then what is left for you to do? What is a mother's life but her children? It
-Couldn't she find some sort of hobby to fill out her time?
-Hobby! What can she do? She cooks and she cleans. You gotta have a house to clean. You gotta have children to cook for. These are the terrible years for a woman, the terrible years.
-You don't think my sister Catherine should live in her daughter-in-law's house?
-Well, I don't know the people, of course, but as a rule, I don't think a mother-in-law should live with a young couple.
-Where do you think a mother-in-law should go?
-I don't think a mother should depend so much upon her children for her rewards in life.
-Well, maybe that's what they teach you in New York University. In real life, it don't work out that way. You wait till you are a mother.
-It was very nice meeting you, Mrs. Pilletti. I hope I'll see you again.
-Goodnight, Mrs. Pilletti.
-You say something?
-Yeah. I was just asking you if you was here stag or with a girl.
-I'm stag.
-Well, I'll tell you. I got stuck on a blind date with a dog, and I just met an old girl I used to know, and I was wondering how I'm gonna get rid of the girl I'm with. Somebody to take her home, you know what I mean? I'd be glad to pay you five bucks if you take her home for me.
-What?
-I'll take you over, and I'll introduce you as an old army buddy of mine, and then I'll cut out. Because I got this other girl waiting for me out by the hatcheck, and I'll pay you five bucks.
-Are you kidding?
-No, I'm not kidding.
-Herbie! Wadda you doing here?!
-I came up to dance, wadda you think? You here with somebody?
-I'm just here with another girl.
-Where you going now?
-I'm just gonna get my cigarettes. I left them in my coat.
-I'll see you around.
-She was always a bit thin in the hips...
-And that husband of hers is a skinny bit of a fellow, isn't he?
-Oh, that's nice. So the doctor was wrong, wasn't he?
-Oh, no! She died right in the hospital...
-Oh, that's a sad story. And her husband is that little fellow, works in Peter Reeves.
-That's the one.
-...so the whole book winds up, Mike Hammer, he's inna room there with this doll. So he says, "You rat, you are the murderer." So she begins to con him, you know? She tells him how she loves him. And then Bam! He shoots her in the stomach. So she's laying there, gasping for breath, and she says, "How could you do that?" And
-What I like about Mickey Spillane is he knows how to handle women. In one book, he picks up a tomato who gets hit with a car, and she throws a pass at him. And then he meets two beautiful twins, and they throw passes at him. And then he meets some beautiful society leader, and she throws a pass at him, and...
-I always figure a guy oughta marry a girl who's twenny years younger than he is so that when he's forty, his wife is a real nice-looking doll.
-That means he'd have to marry the girl when she was one year old.
-What time is it?
-Tommy, before you go, I wonder if you gimme a little advice.
-Sure, what?
-All right, I'll see you, Thomas, because he wants an answer by Monday.
-Sure. Thanks a lot about my mother. We'll work out some arrangement, because naturally I want to pay...
-Don't worry about it.
-Boy, beautiful day, hey, Thomas?
-Tommy, gimme a coupla minutes, because I promised Mr. Gazzara I'd let him know tomorrow. See, what I wanna know, Tom, if a buncha individual retail merchants get together, how does it operate? On individual mark- ups? You know what I mean? Say I'm the butcher and Aldo Capelli, he's the dairyman and grocer, so suppose I mark up thirty-five percent, but he works
-Waddaya talking about, do you know what you're talking about?
-Wadda you wanna buy a shop for, will you tell me? You gotta good job, you got no wife, you got no responsibilities. Boy, I wish I was you, boy. Waddaya wanna tie yourself down with a shop? What's he want? Five thousand down? You're gonna have to carry a mortgage sixty, seventy bucks a month. A mortgage anna note from the bank. For
-Well, you see, Thomas I figure the big problem is the supermarkets. But Patsy's shop, that's a specialized trade. The supermarkets don't carry Italian meat.
-Well, I understand the problem about the supermarkets, but I was talking to this girl last night, and she made the point that a likeable personality is a valuable business asset.
-Marty, see that my mother is nice and comfortable, eh?
-Sure. This girl said...
-Hello, Marty, when you coming home? Where you now? Because your cousin Thomas and his wife Virginia, they're here. They had another fight with your Aunt Catherine... I don't know...
-Hello, Ma.
-Marty, Thomas and Virginia are here. They had another fight with your Aunt Catherine. So they ask me, would it be all right if Catherine come to live with us. So I said, all right with me, but we have to ask you. Marty, she's a lonely old lady. Nobody wants her. Everybody's throwing her outta their house...
-Sure, Ma, it's okay with me.
-Oh, we got plenny-a room here.
-So what are you gonna do tonight, Marty?
-What?
-It's loaded with what?
-Tomatoes.
-Ha! Who told you about the Stardust Ballroom?
-Thomas. He told me it was a very nice place.
-Oh, Thomas. Ma, it's just a big dance hall, and that's all it is. I been there a hundred times. Loaded with tomatoes. Boy, you're funny, Ma.
-Marty, I don't want you hang arounna house tonight. I want you to go take a shave and go out and dance.
-Ma, when are you gonna give up? You gotta bachelor on your hands. I ain't never gonna get married.
-You gonna get married.
-Sooner or later, there comes a point in a man's life when he gotta face some facts, and one fact I gotta face is that whatever it is that women like, I ain't got it. I chased enough girls in my life. I went to enough dances. I got hurt enough. I don't wanna get hurt no more. I just called a girl just
-Marty...
-Ma, I'm gonna stay home and watch Jackie Gleason.
-You gonna die without a son.
-So I'll die without a son.
-Put on your blue suit...
-Blue suit, gray suit, I'm still a fat man. A fat ugly man.
-You not ugly.
-I'm ugly... I'm ugly! I'm UGLY!
-Marty...
-Hello, Marty, when you come home?
-How'd you come home, Ma? Thomas give you a ride?
-Oh, it's a sad business. My sister, Catherine, she don't get along with her daughter-in-law, so she's gonna come live with us.
-Oh, she's coming, eh, Ma?
-Oh, sure. Siddown, siddown. Marty, tell her siddown.
-Did you offer the young lady some fruit?
-Ma, I'm gonna take her home now. It's getting late, and the buses only run about one an hour.
-All right, Ma. I'll be back in about an hour, an hour anna half.
-Hello, Ma, waddaya say, it's getting a little late.
-That was a nice girl last night, Marty. She wasn't a very good-looking girl, but she looks like a nice girl. I said, she wasn't a very good-looking girl... not very pretty...
-I heard you, Ma.
-She looks a little old for you. About thirty-five, forty years old?
-She's more than twenty-nine years old, Marty. That's what she tells you.
-What, Ma?
-I said, is she Italian girl?
-What are you talking about? She's a nice girl.
-I don't like her.
-You don't like her. You only met her for two minutes.
-Don't bring her to the house no more.
-What didn't you like about her?
-I don't know! She don't look like Italian to me. Plenny a nice Italian girls around.
-So what are you gonna do tonight, Marty?
-So these two girls come over to the bar...
-Hey, Ang'...
-...and they sit down right next to me...
-You want a beer, Ang'?
-I look over at this one nexta me, not bad, about thirty-five -- Hiya, Marty...
-Hiya, Ralph...
-...I been talking about two nurses Leo and me picked up in a bar on Seventy-First Street.
-Hey, Lou, gimme two bottles-a beer...
-So, Marty, lemme tell you about these nurses, Marty...
-So, Marty, let me tell you about these nurses...
-What nurses?
-The nurses Leo and me picked up last night. We got a date with them tonight.
-Hello, Ralph.
-Waddaya mean, Ralph?
-Hey, Louise, I want you to meet Marty Pilletti. Marty, that's Louise Kelly, inna back seat there.
-I'm with a girl, Ralph.
-Get ridda her. This is money inna bank.
-I can't do that, Ralph, because somebody already brushed her off once tonight.
-Hello, Ralph. How'd you make out with those nurses last night, Ralph?
-Your kid brother got married last Sunday, eh, Marty?
-That's right, Missus Fusari. It was a very nice affair.
-That's the big tall one, the fellow with the moustache.
-No, that's my other brother, Freddie. My other brother Freddie, he's been married four years already. He lives down on Webb Avenue. The one who got married Sunday, that was my little brother, Nickie.
-No, that's my sister Margaret's husband, Frank. My sister Margaret, she's married to the insurance salesman, and my sister Rose, she married a contractor. They moved to Detroit last year. And my other sister Frances, she got married about two and a half years ago in Saint John's Church on Kingsbridge Avenue. Oh, that was a big affair. Well, let's see now, that'll be
-When you gonna get married, Marty? You should be ashamed of yourself. All your brothers and sisters, they all younger than you, they married and they got children. I just saw your mother inna fruit shop, and she says to me, "Hey, you know a nice girl for my boy Marty?" Watsa matter with you? That's no way. Now you get married.
-My son Frank, he was married when he was nineteen years old. Watsa matter with you?
-That's swell, Missus Fusari.
-All right, Ginnie, don't get so excited.
-That's very nice-a you, Aunt Theresa.
-We gotta ask Marty, of course.
-Sure.
-Oh, he'll get married, don't worry, Aunt Theresa.
-Well, I don't know. He sits arounna house alla time. You know a place he can go where he can find a bride?
-Well, there's the Stardust Ballroom. That's a kind of a big dance hall. Every Saturday night, it's just loaded with girls. It's a nice place to go. You pay seventy-seven cents. It used to be seventy-seven cents. It must be about a buck and half now. And you go in and you ask some girl to dance. That's how I met Virginia. Nice, respectable
-The Stardust Ballroom. It's loaded with tomatoes.
-He says okay, it's all right Catherine comes here.
-I just wanna thank you people again, because the situation was just becoming impossible.
-Hello, Aunt Theresa.
-Hello, Thomas.
-Aunt Theresa, we figure the best way to ask her is you say that you're very lonely, see? And wouldn't she come and keep you company, because that way, you see...
-Ma, you want something to eat, some tuna fish?
-Hello, Aunt Theresa.
-Hello, Thomas, how do you feel?
-He coming home right now.
-So what happened, Aunt Theresa, about the milk bottle was my mother-in- law, she comes inna kitchen, Aunt Theresa, and she begins poking her head over my shoulder here and poking her head over my shoulder there, so then she begins telling me how I waste money and how I can't cook, and how I'm raising my baby all wrong, so she got me
-She was here, you know, Wednesday, and I said, "Catherine, my sister..."
-So she say, "You're spilling the milk." So she kept talking about these coupla drops of milk I spilled, so she got me so mad, so I said, "Mama, you wanna see me really spill some milk?" So I took the bottle, and I threw it against the door. I didn't throw it at her. That's just something she made up. She goes around
-Sure.
-Aunt Theresa, you got this big house here. I mean, you got this big house just for you and Marty. And I thought maybe Tommy's mother could come here and live with you and Marty.
-Well...
-Because I called up Tommy's brother Joe, and I said, "Joe, she's driving me crazy. Why don't you take her for a couple of years?" And he said, "Oh no!" I know I sound like a terrible woman...
-No, Virginia, I know how you feel.
-I'm sorry we gotta rush like this...
-That's all right, that's all right...
-On accounta...
-We didn't tell her anything yet. We thought that we'd leave it to you. We thought you'd put it like how you were lonely, and why don't she come to live with you. Because that way it looks like she's doing you a favor, insteada we're throwing her out, and it won't be so cruel on her. Do you want Tommy and me to
-Listen, let's go downa Kaplans' apartment. They told us to come down.
-Well, I'll tell you, Aunt Theresa...
-Lemme tell it, Tommy.
-Okay.
-That's very nice-a you, Aunt Theresa.
-Marty, I don't know how to tell you how much I appreciate what you and your mother are doing, because the kinda thing was happening in our house was Virginia was in the kitchen making some milk for the baby. So my mother comes in...
-Tommy!
-Don't you think I feel lousy about this too?
-All right, Ginnie. I don't wanna talk anymore about it. I don't think I got one hour's sleep the whole night. Last night was the first time in my life I ever heard my mother cry, you know that?
-Tommy...
-I know what you're gonna say. A man's gotta stop being his mother's baby sooner or later. How many times you gonna say it? She's my mother, you know. I oughta have some feelings about her, don't you think?
-Why do you always put me inna position of being the louse?
-Tommy...
-Wadda you so sore about?
-What about the time she wanted to make an old-fashioned Italian dinner for my brother, but you wouldn't let her!?
-Waddaya talking about?!!
-Once a month you couldn't let her use the kitchen!
-I told her she could use the kitchen any time she wanted...
-...You hadda be the boss inna kitchen alla time!
-There's sort of a built-in prayer for the sick man to get well, but of course that's not the basic intention.
-We wanted to tell you how you were helping us with your fixes.
-How they goin', Losing Preacher? What do you hear from the Pope?
-You talked to Walt?
-What do you want me to do?
-Put in one of your fixes. Walt knows he's loused himself with the Church, but it's part of our plan to make him think he has the keys to the kingdom. Which he will think if you grease the skids for him.
-I don't think I can give absolution to a man who's about to commit suicide. It's a mortal sin.
-What is, Red, the intention or the act?
-I believe it takes both. I'd have to look it up.
-Nice looking kid. Going to be okay?
-What do I do with it Hawk? This is a little out of my line.
-Y'all were short a couple cutters and we're what the Army sent.
-Don't you know the first thing you're supposed to do at a new post is present yourself to the commanding officer with your orders?
-Reckon so, but we been boozing all day and you work up an appetite.
-You're welcome to one of these, whatever they are.
-Good. You've both been working close to the front.
-Never this close.
-I may need you to go to work practically immediately. But meanwhile perhaps you'd like to meet some of your fellow officers.
-Yeah, maybe move that nurse in. She don't seem the type to keep you awake praying.
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-Yes, O'Reilly?
-You boys'll have to go to work early.
-What are you going to do with him?
-Well... I was going to name you Chief Surgeon... To consult on both shifts, yours and Frank's.
-Stop him! Stop that man!
-Now I got you for a witness, I'm going to try again. So far all I dragged out of him is he's from Bahston and he's only been in the Army two months. Where were you when they drafted you?
-Home.
-I mean, what were you doing? Were you a resident or on a staff someplace?
-That's right.
-Where?
-Hospital.
-Which hospital?
-Back home.
-Is there any reason why we shouldn't know the name of it?
-Don't you use olives?
-How you, Walt? We was just fixing to have a nightcap.
-Miss you, Walt.
-Pulse, slow, very little pressure.
-Look at that right eye.
-Epidural hematoma?
-I don't know what else. You've been that route a little, haven't you?
-She had this shiny black hair piled up on her head, but later on she let it hang loose and I'll be damned if it didn't come all the way down to her ass.
-Okay, I'm a witness, but how do you prove who's right?
-It certainly isn't Henry's fault Hot Lips Houlihan doesn't like her name.
-Well, he's taken care of. Scratch one hot dog.
-You really think we hurt him that bad?
-Y'all mind the store.
-Because is not democrash? All peoples created equal?
-Hey, you been sneaking some reading outside the frigging Bible!
-I have great interest for America, his peoples and his custom.
-I don't think I should have opened my big mouth. Sorry, Ho-Jon.
-You – must – open – me – up – again?
-Thou. For Thou art with me. Welcome, welcome, welcome!
-What the hell's going on here?
-This is Ho-Jon, my houseboy. Our houseboy. I'm teaching him English.
-But first will you please kindly shut the goddam door?
-I don't believe it's right for you to involve a boy who's not seventeen years old yet...
-The door, Frank, the door! Where you from anyhow, Alaska?
-Wisconsin.
-So long, Ho-Jon.
-Us. Lead us not into...
-What?
-We got to stop them right here.
-You mind if we get out of this guy's brain first?
-What's there to do? You found the sliver.
-There might be another tiny piece we missed. I want to look around before we close up.
-My name's Hawkeye Pierce.
-You got directions?
-Ayuh, only it's early, I need a drink to wake me up.
-Make it yourself, or is it real?
-Georgia, where I come from, it's real if you make it yourself. But I been buying from the Yankee Government since they put me in this soldier suit and give me a rate.
-Tax-free booze. It's about all you can say for army life.
-Where you from with that crazy way of talking?
-Crabapple Cove. Maine.
-Damn! That must be about as far north as you can get.
-Pretty near. What do you know about the outfit we're going to?
-C.O. is Colonel Blake. Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake. One of them regular army clowns. Push you around so it's hard to get any decent work done.
-What's the initials 'MP' stand for, Hawkeye?
-Must be the Famous Curb Service Whore – House. You in the market Duke?
-Well, there it is. Jesus!
-What do you think of that piece of scenery, Yankee boy?
-Colonel Blake, have no fear. Hawkeye and Duke are here.
-Little light reading matter. Just right for his age.
-Well, southern boy, I suppose you want the sack that's convenient to the door.
-This kid's ready but we won't know all the damage till we get in and see what's happened. What have you got?
-Now that's what I call real pretty. We can close up here and go into his belly.
-He can't take much more time on the table.
-Christ Almighty, I think he means it!
-We've stuck it out for a whole week now... Pretty girl.
-No, Hawkeye just said it all.
-Except we forgot one other small thing.
-What's that?
-The chest-cutter.
-Yeah, that's right. You better get us a chest-cutter before there's trouble.
-This outfit needs somebody who can find his way around the pulmonary anatomy when the bases are loaded.
-Jesus to Jesus and eight hands around! Duke, did I ever tell you how I beat Dartmouth by intercepting a pass?
-Sixteen times.
-Must be Painlees Pole Day in the Shower Tent.
-You met him. Walt Waldowski, the Dental Officer.
-Best equipped dentist in the whole goddam Army. Care to have a look, a man with your background?
-This kid looks like a loser. Maybe we better get the bead-jiggler to put in a fix.
-And you've had a natural four times in a row in a crap game. Right? Does that mean...?
-Not without lots of praying and kissing the dice. It's a different ritual but it works the same.
-Y'all just act natural.
-That there Frank Burns is a menace. Whenever a patient croaks on him it's either God's will or somebody else's fault.
-Hail to the chief! We-all got a responsibility, men. He's crowned like a king ought to be, but he can't just walk to the Mess Hall by himself. He has to be carried by native bearers.
-Never mind. Forget it.
-When will he be able to write?
-What's he got to write, for God's sake?
-I guess that's why you go for Hot Lips Houlihan.
-You know damn well I nearly puke when I look at her. I don't even think she's a real blonde.
-How can you say a thing like that about an officer in the United States Army?
-I not only say it, I'll back it up twenty buck's worth.
-Where the hell we going to get us a football team?
-Never heard of him.
-Sure you have, only as 'Spearchucker' Jones.
-How come nobody knows about him? And you do?
-Now wait a minute, Hawkeye. I come a long way, learning to put up with a couple of crazy Yankees, but...
-Look at the size of those two beasts.
-Don't try to get it far down. Kick it up high so we can get there and surround that son-ofa-bitch.
-Me, too. Y'all just seen me play my last game.
-Henry's got our orders! We're going home!
-When?
-Any time. Whenever we want.
-There's no transportation anyway this time of night.
-We could steal one of the choppers.
-I thought we were heading for trouble putting on all these trinkets.
-We got to start rehabilitating, Duke, if we want to be halfway human by the time we get back to our wives.
-But no short-arm inspection. I'm with you there.
-Hell, man, that don't matter. We're loaded. We were big wheels in the black market in Seoul.
-Let's hear from you, you goddam Yankee. Be nice to see you some time.
-There's no point appealing to Colonel Blake. They've got him bewitched.
-No. The only thing to do is write General Hammond. But it's hard to find a place around here for a private discussion.
-I have a tent to myself.
-People will talk.
-I think it's a marvelous letter.
-We're a good team.
-We think the same way.
-It's supper time. But you're not hungry are you?
-Ravenous. What about you?
-Well, sure, if you are, Margaret...
-Godless buffoons, all of them.
-It's that disrespect for you, that's what I can't forgive them.
-Oh, I'm used to it. What makes me sore is how they behave towards you. They ought to be grateful to have you. I certainly am.
-Frank...
-Wait a second...
-Is that liquor?
-Give us this day our daily...
-You ever caught this bread, and forgive our syndrome before, Duke?
-...And for our young men on the field of battle, that they may return home to their dear ones...
-Come clean with us, Frank. Were you on this religious kick back home, or did you start to crack up here on the post?
-I was just asking...
-If we had closer relations, there wouldn't be any misunderstandings. That's where a football game would help. Between your outfit and mine.
-A football game?
-Special Services in Tokyo are all for it. They say it's one of the main gimmicks we have to keep the American way of life going here in Asia.
-But what about Major Houlihan?
-You mean Hot Lips? Screw her.
-The hell we won't! You bastards pulled something, I don't know what, but we've been beating you without him. Ane we'll go on beating you!
-You willing to b-back that up with odds?
-Gimme three.
-At ease. Captain Pierce, you have a seriously wounded patient for whom you are responsible. Yet I find you in a poker game.
-You betcher ass, Dad.
-Pierce! That soldier requires immediate attention. I'm a surgeon and I know.
-I'm going to play poker until three a.m. or until the patient is ready for surgery. However, if you'd like to operate on him yourself right now, be my guest. I get the same dough whether I work or not.
-I want to talk to you, Pierce.
-Now, General, I'm going to sandbag you. Do you think we're ready to get out of this belly?
-Obviously you don't think so, and I don't know why.
-Well, Dad, we haven't found any holes in the large bowel. They've all been in the small bowel, but the smell is different. I caught a whiff of large bowel, but it ain't staring us in the face, right?
-Right.
-And there it is.
-I'm impressed, Pierce. Naturally, the kind of job I have, I don't get much chance to keep up with what goes on in the OR.
-Well, it's still pretty much in the talk stage.
-We had a team at the 325th Evac last fall. I coached the boys myself.
-I think I heard about that.
-Now we're working out a schedule of the outfits we're going to play this year. We all chip into a pool and make bets.
-Must be fun. But the point we want to make about Henry...
-I only wanted to know what she's like in the sack. Do those big boobs hold up or are they kind of droopy?
-Hawkeye's asking the Major's opinion on a point of anatomy.
-A-negative. I've cross-matched it.
-I though you said we didn't have a drop.
-Radar!
-What for?
-We need medical officers for short- arm inspection starting the first afternoon out.
-Oh, certainly, Sergeant. My name is Captain George Limburger, and this is Captain Walter Camembert.
-C-A-M-E-M...?
-B-E-R-T, right. See you tomorrow.
-I think I've seen this nut somewhere. Haven't I?
-That's the front up the road a few miles. We have to get by without some of the comforts of home.
-Lucky you didn't have your mouth open or it would have gone down your throat.
-What are they peeking at? Captain Waldowski in the shower?
-...But I turned in my knee pads.
-Black capsule.
-We're throwing him a Last Supper. We came to invite you.
-Or you can let him knock himself out. You personally'd be sending him to his grave.
-We stand behind all our work.
-It's a bedroom where a man is always at his peak and doesn't have to take any time outs.
-Very well, Your Majesty. Congratulations, Frank. He picked you.
-No, no, that one.
-I came within about ten yards of you. You know something, Trapper, the way we been going, if we ever got to see a real golf course again, I bet we could burn it up.
-I'm not so sure the goddam thing's in his heart.
-Let me translate. I've had some exposure to the language. The young man is from Brooklyn and he wants us to vacate this vehicle.
-But besides the operation, we've got to get in at least eighteen holes of golf.
-Look.
-Don't worry, son. That's Captain McIntyre, and he's the best chest surgeon in the Far East and maybe in the whole U.S. Army. He'll fix you up fine. Your daddy saw to that.
-Did I ever tell you about Me Lay Marston?
-Your high school friend who went around saying 'Me lay, you lay?' to all the young females in the community. As I remember, you said it was quite a successful approach.
-Please! Face it, Colonel, you don't have us, we have you. Your boys blew this case, we bailed you out. We figure we ought to hang around a day to check the Congressman's kid, and we also figure to play some golf. So if that's okay with you, we got a deal.
-And if it isn't, why don't we call Washington on your telephone? You tell your story, we'll tell ours.
-Come on, Trapper. We got to forget golf for today.
-I don't know why. As long as it's light enough to see your caddie.
-Is he out?
-Best thing you could do for all of us is grab some sack time.
-For you, Trapper.
-It's in pretty deep.
-Christ, it's Ho-Jon!
-If we squeeze him through, I'm going to get him into Androscoggin College.
-How about squeezing him through into Dartmouth? If all he wants to do is catch lobsters, he can learn that here.
-Dartmouth's too big and too expensive. If he's as good as I think he is, he can move into the big league later. But Androscoggin first.
-We'll need room. The sixth rib goes.
-Never mind the conversation. Do it, Dad.
-You aspirate the blood from the chest cavity. Damn, there's more of it than I thought.
-I don't feel anything.
-I can't feel it now either. The mother must have gone in.
-I don't get it.
-It was in the cava and the hole sealed itself off. I must have jiggled it just enough to turn it loose. I can't feel it in the heart or the right pulmonary artery. So it's in the left pulmonary artery.
-What do we do?
-We'll have to close this hole and make one on the other side.
-Be kind of rough on him if there's no blood. Why don't we close up and sit on him a couple of days?
-It's five minutes into nurses' shower hour. Where are they?
-But he's got five times the man-power to draw on.
-He only lasted one season.
-So what makes you think he'll play for us?
-We'll cut him in on the bets we make. And still have enough profit to send Ho-Jon to college.
-Might make kind of a social issue, not having any other Negro officer.
-But we'd have to break his leg or something to keep him out of the game for good.
-Captain Pierce, would I be imposing...?
-Captain, I've been observing the nurses on your shift. But naturally your own opinion is more informed than mine.
-I'm glad you feel that way, Major, because you see it's a team effort... doctors, nurses, enlisted men... and I feel responsible for my whole team, and I want you to know I'm satisfied with them.
-All of them?
-That's right. We work well together.
-Major Burns is far from satisfied.
-That don't surprise me. If you're a good observer, you must have observed by now that Frank Burns is a jerk.
-On the contrary, I've observed he's not only a good technical surgeon, he's a good military surgeon. And that includes how a man dresses and how he bears himself and his sense of what it means to be an officer in the United States Army.
-And his track record, that don't count? Look, honey, when you watch the two shifts try to notice which one does the most work with the least fuss.
-I've noticed that both nurses and enlisted men address you as 'Hawkeye.'
-It's my name. Maybe that sounds silly to you but...
-That kind of familiarity is inconsistent with maximum efficiency in a military organization.
-Okay, Major, honey. I'm going to have a couple shots scotch and go to bed. I'd normally ask you to join me but obviously you're a female version of the routine Regular Army clown. And that turns me off, so just leave my outfit alone and we'll get along fine. See you around the campus.
-I wonder how a degenerated person like you could have reached a position of responsibility in the Army Medical Corps.
-Hey, Knocko, I got those pictures you promised to look at of my kids. You too, Wilma. It won't take a minute. You can see them too, if you want.
-Listen, we look pretty lousy out there, right?
-Well, for college players that have been out of training seven or eight years...
-The bastards outconned us.
-I think we could still have a chance.
-If you start the game instead of waiting, you mean?
-What's the matter?
-See you.
-It's possible
-Isn't this ridiculous, Doctor? Six months I've been here and there are still times when I can't stand it. I just go to pieces.
-Thank you, Captain Pierce. It's been so long.
-No trouble at all. Hawkeye.
-How did you get called that?
-You're getting a workout, you and Captain Forrest, your first night.
-It isn't always this rough?
-Oh, no. We have dull stretches every week or so, thank God, when there's nothing to do after midnight.
-They don't have to be dull. I mean if you and me put our minds together...
-Our minds?
-For a start. I just have a hunch... well, it isn't entirely a hunch...
-You're an attractive man.
-You have a certain modest charm yourself.
-But I'm married.
-Something else we have in common.
-Very happily married.
-Same here.
-And absolutely determined to be faithful to my husband. Do we have that in common, Captain?
-It's a matter of definition. Faithful in spirit, yes.
-I don't make the distinction. But the sex urge is a powerful force. In women just as much as men.
-Ayuh.
-You'd think now, with only six weeks before they ship me back home, it would be easier. But it isn't.
-Of course not.
-It's terribly hard. Sometimes the temptation is just too much.
-Then why not, as long as it wouldn't hurt anybody...?
-Even if I weren't.
-I couldn't have slept tonight anyhow.
-You're leaving tomorrow?
-In less than twelve hours I'll be on my way.
-That's when the real strain starts. Three weeks on a troopship. Poor baby.
-Dear, sweet Hawkeye.
-Though I guess who it'll really be rough on is your husband.
-You're on his side all of the sudden?
-A man would be more considerate. He wouldn't come home to his wife a nervous wreck.
-How would he avoid it... as if I needed to ask?
-It could be a purely impersonal thing. What matters is the therapeutic value of relieving your tensions.
-Do you think anything between us could be impersonal? Or pure? You better forget logic, because you're proving why I shouldn't go to bed with you.
-You're asking for somebody else?
-It happens to be a matter of life and death.
-A man is going to die if he doesn't have my fair young body?
-He should come to now for a while, but he's got so much dope in him by tomorrow he won't know fact from fantasy.
-You think he won't.
-What do you care? You'll be on your way to Japan.
-I'm fond of Painless, and I'd feel terrible if anything happened to him...
-It's your decision, Maria. I don't want to high-pressure you.
-I'd be crazy to think my virtue, such as it is, was more important than his life...
-You please excuse... I have been making examination of this young man to find if he will be soldier in our army.
-Yes, I know. Hi, Ho-Jon. How did it go?
-I don't liking it at all, what I hear when I listen to the heart. And such a blood pressure for so young a boys. Is frightening.
-I'm sorry to hear that. You think he's unfit for military service?
-At first is no doubt. But then I am seeing on his paper he work in American hospital. And I think there are so many drugs in such a places, he could take some by mistake.
-Why would he do that?
-Two-man job. How much blood has he had?
-Second pint.
-It was really nice of you to take me along.
-I didn't have much choice.
-You really say the cutest things.
-Captain Camembert! Captain Camembert!
-Excuse me, Sergeant.
-Yes, Reverend?
-What do you want with those two medical officers?
-Be the longest short-arm inspection you ever held!
-Thanks, Reverend. Thank you both for tipping me off. You don't know a Captain Forrest or a Captain Pierce, do you?
-They missed the boat.
-Thanks.
-He's the pro from Dover and I'm the Ghost of Smokey Joe.
-The real Trapper John? The one who threw you the famous pass and went to greater glory on the Boston and Maine Railroad?
-The one and only.
-You don't go after the local scrunch?
-What do you do in the joint besides pimp?
-Why can't you look at him?
-I have but well, you know, I've been mainly an anesthetist a long time now and... well, I'd like you guys to take a look at him.
-What's the story?
-Well, one of the girls got careless and two days ago she gave birth to an eight-pound American-Japanese male.
-What's wrong with him?
-He's coming to.
-Glad to know you. Drop in at my clinic anytime you feel like playing a little poker, or even if a tooth is bothering you.
-If a man isn't a man anymore, what's he got left to live for?
-Tell me the whole story, Walt.
-There's this native broad works in the laundry. I don't know if you've noticed.
-There's only one worth noticing.
-But I had this feeling I ought to make the effort. To test myself. And I flunked.
-What did you have to test, for God's sake... the dental Don Juan of Detroit?
-Painless, you mustn't talk that way. It's a lot of crap. Cover for what?
-Now I know that's been my problem since I was a kid. But it only caught up to me last night.
-You've been drawn to other males? Since you were a kid?
-No, never in the slightest.
-Just in dreams?
-Or in dreams either. I repressed it completely. Classic pattern of inhibition.
-That's what you've been doing all these years with every dame you could lay your hands on? Repressing your real self?
-But it's all over now, and I can't face it. Imagine if you found out you were one, you wouldn't like breaking the news to your wife. Well, I got the same problem multiplied.
-You don't have any problem. You've got thirty good years ahead of you, easy. Maybe you'll have to cut down as you grow older, get along with just two fiancees, but...
-That's really what I came here for. See what you guys recommend.
-In the direction you want to go.
-How much time do I have?
-Just about enough to say goodbye to everybody. Line up over here, men, if you want to pay your last respects. Keep moving and file on out when you're through.
-Morning Painless. How they goin'?
-Good morning, Captain Pierce and Captain Forrest.
-You can cut the bow.
-I have not understood what you means.
-Officer all sleep now, yes? And I go wash clothes.
-Hi, Ho-Jon. How they goin'?
-There ought to be a law against dentists reading. Matter of fact, I thought there was. Anyway, this is an obsession. He can't be persuaded out of it.
-And if I go to New York, the natives there will carry me? I don't think so.
-Pain bad, Ho-Jon?
-I'm Colonel Blake. You fellows just passing through?
-The blonde dish.
-If you mean... She is a lieutenant in the Army Nursing Corps, Captain.
-Okay, Lieutenant Dish. I guess she's already... involved with somebody here.
-You don't aim to cause any trouble – But?
-But we strongly suspect something will happen to screw up this splendid organization of yours if you don't get that sky pilot out of our tent.
-We'll find out what they are when you throw us out.
-You work those kind of hours, you got to have rest. Which you can't get with somebody jabbering away on a direct line to heaven.
-About that chest-cutter...
-I'll try, d-d-dammit! You can't ask any more than that!
-Stop acting like a colonel, Henry. You know Trapper wouldn't sock him without a good reason.
-I should fire him because he got in the way of Trapper's fist? No. I've put up with a lot from you guys, but now I finally have to take disciplinary action.
-First decent idea you've had in a month.
-Fifteenth straight day there've been six o'clock choppers. How long can a battle go on?
-It's a nice idea. I mean it has style.
-What's going on? Who started this?
-You mean who hit who?
-Yes, that's what I mean.
-If you say so, Henry. But remember my claustrophobia.
-What's wrong with you?
-We got it, men... Ho-Jon's keep as Androscoggin... if there is such a place. And the big news is, the General wants a rematch.
-O'Reilly!
-Yes, sir?
-Dammit, Radar, wait till I call you! Tell Major Burns...
-One of the surgeons from the day shift will have to stay on duty tonight?
-O'Reilly, what is it? There aren't more choppers coming?
-I'm afraid so, Colonel.
-We've got too many wounded for us to handle now! Get on the phone right away and...
-Sir?
-Don't do that, Radar! You make me nervous.
-Sir?
-Don't come so quickly when I call. I want you to take these officers...
-To Major Burns' tent. Yes, sir.
-Stop that, O'Rielly!
-Sir?
-Oh, get out of here!
-Good morning, Colonel.
-Morning, Radar. How were things?
-Splendid, sir. No problems.
-Can you make out what they're talking about?
-Chopper coming in, Colonel. Two of them, I'm afraid.
-Damn.
-If I can make a suggestion, Coach.
-The way I run an organization, any man in it has the right to speak his mind.
-Thank you, Spearchucker. I'll certainly take a look at these. Where the hell did you ever get that name?
-Those two big guys were tackles on the Cleveland Browns, and the redhead played halfback with the Rams.
-Well, there's one big satisfaction.
-What's that, Henry?
-Morning, girls. Good morning Major.
-This one goes right to the OR. Tell Duke to do him ahead of the busted spleen. And this kid can't wait. I'll take him myself, before I get to that ruptured diaphragm.
-Captain... 'This kid' is a prisoner of war.
-Yeah?
-It's an American boy's rupture you're supposed to close.
-Okay, I'm closing up. Everybody relax.
-Planes mostly. May take a crack at rickshaws. How does the direct approach work over here?
-What's the bastard really like?
-Colonel Merrill is a veteran of twenty- five years in the Regular Army, a soldier first and a doctor second. A member of several patriotic organizations, he believes it's America's God-given mission to maintain a foothold for freedom on the Asian mainland.
-Never mind.
-The address of the N.E.P.H. and W. Why don't you meet me there when you're through golf for drinks and dinner and whatever strikes the fancy?
-Soup? Rice? What are we doing, beginning all over again?
-No, we had a clear soup to start. This is a thick one and you ought to taste it. There's nothing like it back home.
-Can you guys take one minute to look at a kid for me?
-We don't have to see him. Call that halfassed Army hospital and tell them to be ready to put some lipiodol in this kid's esophagus and take X- rays.
-How is he?
-Nice.
-Ease off on those tapes, and let's see how much it bleeds. How is he?
-Nice.
-As long as there's a pile-up, we can do our bit to encourage his permanent withdrawal from the contest.
-You're a couple o' sticks shy in your column, Ann.
-A big, rich slob like D. B. Norton buys a paper—and forty heads are chopped off!
-Did you get it, too?
-Yeah. You, too? Oh, Joe . . . oh, I'm sorry darling . . . why don't we tear the building down!
-Before you do, Ann, perhaps you'd better finish this column.
-Er, would you, er, would you like to make some money?
-Would you be willing to say you wrote that letter—and stick by it?
-Huh?
-Are you all right?
-Don't mind the Colonel. He hates people.
-He likes you well enough to stick around.
-Action?
-Here. Sit down! Quiet, egghead! All right, now, a serious expression.
-Can't. I'm feeling too good.
-Oh, come on, now. This is serious. You're a man disgusted with all of civilization.
-With all of it?
-Yes, you're sore at the world. Come on, now.
-Yeah. No, no! No! No, look. You don't have to smell the world!
-Well, all those guys in the bleachers think—
-Never mind those guys. All right, stand up. Now let's see what you look like when you protest.
-Against what?
-Against anything. Just protest.
-You got me.
-Oh, look. I'm the umpire, and you just cut the heart of the plate with your fast one and I call it a ball. What would you do?
-Oh, yuh did, huh?
-Yes!
-Why can't you call right, you bone- headed, pig-eared, lop-eared, pot- bellied—
-Now, look, John. Here's the speech. It's in caps and double-spaced. You won't have any trouble reading it. Not nervous, are you?
-No.
-Of course not. He wouldn't be.
-Who?
-Who?
-John Doe, the one in the speech.
-Oh. Yeah.
-Say, he's a friend of mine.
-Hello, John.
-Look, John. Something terribly important's happened. They're forming John Doe Clubs. We know of eight already and they say that there's going—
-John Doe Clubs? What for?
-Uh-huh. To carry out the principles you talked about in your radio speech.
-I don't care what they're forming. I'm on my way and I don't like the idea of being stopped either.
-Oh, but you don't know how big this thing is. You should see the thousands of telegrams we've received and what they're saying about you.
-Look, it started as a circulation stunt, didn't it?
-Uh-huh . . .
-Well, you got your circulation. Now, why don't you let me alone?
-Oh, it started as a circulation stunt, but it isn't any more. Mr. Norton wants to get back of it and sponsor John Doe Clubs all over the country. He wants to send you on a lecture tour.
-Me?
-Can I help you pack?
-Do you care if I sit down out here?
-You know, I had a crazy dream last night. It was about you.
-About me?
-Well, would you like to know who it was you were marrying?
-Well, a tall handsome Ubangi, I suppose.
-Ted Sheldon.
-But here's the funniest part of it all. I was the fella up there doing the marrying. You know, the Justice of the Peace or something . . .
-You were? I thought you were chasing me?
-Well, yes, I was. But I was your father then, see? But the real me, John Doe, er, that is, Long John Willoughby, I was the fellow up there with the book. You know what I mean?
-I guess so. Then what happened?
-How many people do you think we've talked to already, outside the radio, I mean?
-I don't know. About three hundred thousand.
-Three hundred thousand? What makes them do it, Ann? What makes them come and listen and, and get up their John Doe Clubs the way they do? I've been trying to figure it out.
-Look, John—what we're handing them are platitudes. Things they've heard a million times: "Love thy neighbor," "Clouds have silver linings," "Turn the other cheek." It's just a—
-Did you write this?
-Yes, I did, John. But I—I had no idea what was going on.
-Go ahead, driver! Ball park!
-. . . Er, this John Doe idea is yours, huh?
-Yes, sir.
-How much money do you get?
-Thirty dollars.
-Thirty dollars? Well, er, what are you after? I mean, what do you want? A journalistic career?
-Money.
-Money? Well, I'm glad to hear somebody admit it. Do you suppose you could write a radio speech that would put that fellow over?
-Oh, I'm sure I can.
-Do it, and I'll give you a hundred dollars a week.
-A hundred dollars!
-Hello. Whenever there's a pretty woman around, er— This is my nephew, Ted Sheldon, Miss Mitchell.
-Thank you very much for everything.
-And, Miss Mitchell—I think from now on you'd better work directly with me.
-Better let me talk to him.
-Oh, somebody else sitting there?
-Oh! Oh, it's beautiful, D. B. Well—I don't quite know what to say . . .
-Oh!
-Tomorrow night, before a crowd of fifteen thousand people, and talking over a nation-wide radio hook-up, John Doe will announce the formation of a third party.
-A third party?
-Devoted entirely to the interests of all the John Does all over the country. Which practically means, ninety per cent of the voters. He will also announce the third party's candidate for the presidency. A man whom he, personally, recommends. A great humanitarian; the best friend the John Does have.
-Hello?
-Hello there. Well, well! If it isn't the man about town!
-All set, Ann?
-That's good.
-No, no, no. This man's going to jump off a roof.
-Oh.
-Stick a fork through me! I'm done. I'll never get this speech right.
-Oh, yes you will, Ann dear . . . you're very clever.
-Yeah, I know. What are you looking for?
-Your purse. I need ten dollars.
-What for? I gave you fifty just the other day.
-Yes, I know, dear, but Mrs. Burke had her baby yesterday. Nine pounds! And there wasn't a thing in the house—and then this morning the Community Chest lady came around and—
-And the fifty's all gone, huh? Who's the ten for?
-The Websters.
-The Websters!
-You remember those lovely people your father used to take care of? I thought I'd buy them some groceries. Oh, Ann, dear, it's a shame, those poor—
-You're marvelous, Ma. You're just like Father used to be. Do you realize a couple of weeks ago we didn't have enough to eat ourselves?
-Well, yes, I know, dear, but these people are in such need and we have plenty now.
-Oh, I'm sorry, Ma. Oh, don't pay any attention to me. I guess I'm just upset about all this. Gee whiz, here I am with a great opportunity to get somewhere, to give us security for once in our lives, and I'm stuck. If I could put this over, your Mrs. Burke can have six babies!
-Do you mean the speech you're writing?
-Yeah, I don't know. I simply can't get it to jell! I created somebody who's gonna give up his life for a principle, hundreds of thousands of people are gonna listen to him over the radio and, unless he says something that's, well, that's sensational, it's just no good!
-Well, honey, of course I don't know what kind of a speech you're trying to write, but judging from the samples I've read, I don't think anybody'll listen.
-What?
-Darling, there are so many complaining political speeches. People are tired of hearing nothing but doom and despair on the radio. If you're going to have him say anything, why don't you let him say something simple and real, something with hope in it? If your father were alive, he'd know what to say.
-Oh, yes, Father certainly would.
-Wait a minute . . .
-That's your father's diary, Ann.
-Father's . . . I never knew he had a diary.
-There's enough in it for a hundred speeches, things people ought to hear nowadays. You be careful of it, won't you dear? It's always helped keep your father alive for me.
-Yeh, D. B. Oh, just cleaning out the dead-wood. Okay.
-I'll tell you what I'll do. I get thirty dollars a week. I'll take twenty-five, twenty if necessary. I'll do anything you say.
-It isn't the money. We're after circulation. What we need is fireworks. People who can hit with sledge hammers—start arguments.
-No. I've had the whole army and navy searching for you because that's a game we play here every day.
-I remember, distinctly, being fired.
-That's right. But you have a piece of property that still belongs to this newspaper. And I'd like to have it!
-What's that?
-The letter.
-What letter?
-The letter from John Doe.
-Oh!
-The whole town's in an uproar. We've got to find him. The letter's our only clue.
-There is no letter.
-We'll get a handwriting expert to— What!
-Say that again.
-You made it up.
-Well, the whole town's curious about John Doe and, boom, just like that you're going to bury him. There's enough circulation in that man to start a shortage in the ink market!
-In what man!
-John Doe.
-What John Doe?
-Our John Doe! The one I made up! Look, genius— Now, look. Suppose there was a John Doe—and he walked into this office. What would you do? Find him a job and forget about the whole business, I suppose! Not me! I'd have made a deal with him!
-A deal?
-Now, then comes the drama. He meets discouragement. He finds the world has feet of clay. His ideals crumble. So what does he do? He decides to commit suicide in protest against the state of civilization. He thinks of the river! But no, no, he has a better idea. The City Hall. Why? Because he wants to attract attention. He wants to get a
-Very pretty. Very pretty, indeed, Miss Mitchell. But would you mind telling me who goes on Christmas Eve?
-John Doe.
-What John Doe?
-Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Lemme get this through this lame brain of mine. Are you suggesting we go out and hire someone to say he's gonna commit suicide on Christmas Eve? Is that it?
-Well, you're catching on.
-Who, for instance?
-You're supposed to be a smart guy! If it was raining hundred dollar bills, you'd be out looking for a dime you lost some place.
-That's fine! That's fine! Now fall right into their laps. Go ahead. Say John Doe walked in and called the whole thing off. You know what that's going to sound like on top of this!
-Okay, sister, you get your job back.
-Plus a bonus.
-I can read. I can read!
-So you think this is worth a thousand dollars, do you?
-Oh, the Chronicle would consider it dirt cheap.
-Looks all right—
-He's perfect! A baseball player. What could be more American!
-That's our man. He's made to order.
-I don't know. He don't seem like a guy that'd fall into line.
-Hurry up, Pop.
-Oh.
-All right, boys, here he is.
-But, he's gonna jump off a building!
-Yes, but not because he's out of a job. That's not news! This man's going to jump as a matter of principle.
-Well, maybe you're right.
-We'll clean him up and put him in a hotel room—under bodyguards. We'll make a mystery out of him. Did you speak to Mr. Norton?
-Thinks it's terrific. Says for us to go the limit. Wants us to build a bonfire under every big shot in the state.
-Oh, swell! Is that the contract?
-Yes. What's he doing here?
-Friend of his. They play duets together.
-Duets? But can we trust him?
-Well, okay. But we don't want more than a couple o' hundred people in on this thing. Now the first thing I want is an exact copy of the John Doe letter in your own handwriting.
-I got it all ready. Here.
-Okay, fellows.
-And you! Start pounding that typewriter. Oh, boy! This is terrific! No responsibilities on our part. Just statements from John Doe and we can blast our heads off.
-Before you pop too many buttons, don't forget to make out that check for a thousand.
-Yeah, but it's got everybody sore. Ads are being pulled—the Governor's starting a libel suit—what's more, they all know John Doe's a phoney—and they insist on seeing him.
-Look. We can't let 'em get to this bush-league pitcher and start pumping him. Good night! No telling what that screwball might do. I walked in yesterday—here he is, standing on a table with a fishing pole flycasting. Take my advice and get him out of town before this thing explodes in our faces!
-If you do, Mr. Norton, you're just as much of a dumb cluck as he is! Excuse me.
-No, you've got yourself a meal ticket and you hate to let go.
-What's the idea?
-Listen. If that guy lays an egg. I want to get something out of it. I'm getting a Jane Doe ready!
-Now listen, Ann—he can't possibly get in without our seeing him. I'm watching the side door and the Colonel's out front, so stop worrying.
-How many is that, six? Pretty hungry, weren't you?
-Say, all this John Doe business is batty, if yuh ask me.
-Well, nobody asked yuh.
-Oh, stop worrying. He's all right.
-Colonel!
-You shouldn't have gotten out of bed, Miss.
-Has he been here?
-No.
-Have you seen him?
-I ain't seen him for a week.
-Where's Connell?
-He's watching the other door.
-No sense in going up there! I been here for hours. He ain't here!
-Oh, let me go, will you!
-Had any schooling?
-Yeah, a little.
-What do you do when you work?
-I used to pitch.
-Baseball?
-Uh-huh. Till my wing[4] went bad.
-Where'd you play?
-I went up to Miss Mitchell's house, boss. Boy, she's in a bad way.
-Where is she?
-Hey, do you know something? She supports a mother and two kids. What do you know about that?
-Did you find her?
-No. Her mother's awful worried about her. When she left the house she said she was going on a roaring drunk. Er, the girl, I mean!
-Go out and find her!
-Hello! . . . Yeh?
-just called the morgue, boss. They say there's a girl there—
-Ann! Say, why didn't yuh—
-Hey, boss. Get a load of this.
-What?
-What do they want?
-Yeah, Boss?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Both of 'em?
-Hey, Boss.
-Gee whiz, Boss, you know Mr. Norton told me not to leave him, not even for a minute.
-Hey, wait a minute, Mr. Doe!
-Help yourself.
-I've seen guys like you go under before. Guys that never had a worry. Then they got ahold of some dough and went goofy. The first thing that happens to a guy—
-Hey, whatsa matter with a bank account, anyway?
-And let me tell you, Long John. When you become a guy with a bank account, they got you. Yes sir, they got you!
-Who's got him?
-The heelots!
-And when they get you, you got no more chance than a road-rabbit.
-Hey, Doc, look. Look, Doc. Gimme that again, will yuh? Who's gonna get him?
-The heelots!
-Listen, sucker, yuh ever been broke?
-Sure. Mostly often.
-Ba-ll!
-St-rike!
-Holy smoke! A half a heelot!
-Well, I'll be doggoned if over forty people don't show up. 'Course none of us knew what to do, but we sure got a kick out of seeing how glad everybody was just to say hello to one another.
-Tell him about making Sourpuss chairman, honey.
-Grubbel's here. See?
-Yeah. That's—that's him. Of course, you don't know Grubbel, but he's the man that everybody figured was the worst no-account in the neighborhood because he was living like a hermit and nobody'd have anything to do with him. Er, that is until Murphy, the postman told us the truth. "Why, Grubbel," he says, "he lives out of garbage cans because he won't take charity.
-You don't have to—Why, we're with you, Mr. Doe. We just lost our heads and acted like a mob. Why, we . . .
-This is Sourpuss. Er, excuse me. Er, Mr. Smithers, Mr. Doe.
-Th—that's all right. If you didn't call me Sourpuss, it wouldn't feel natural. There are snickers from the background.
-Well, anyway, I—I guess nearly everybody in the neighborhood came, except the DeLaneys. The Delaneys live in a big house with an iron fence around it and they always keep their blinds drawn, and we always figured that he was just an old miser that sat back counting his money, so why bother about inviting him? Until Grimes, the milkman spoke up and he
-And then we started to find out about a lot of other people.
-Well, sir, about a dozen families got together and gave Grubbel a job watering their lawns. Isn't that wonderful? And then we found jobs for six other people and they've all gone off relief!
-No!
-How could he be a fake?
-It must be some kind of a gag.
-A what?
-It makes no difference, Bert—the ideas's still good. We don't have to give up our club.
-That man is gonna be on that roof. Don't ask me how I know. I just know. And you know it as well as I do.
-Hey, pretty nifty, huh?
-You ain't gonna get me to stay here.
-Sure, you are.
-Gimme mine. I ain't staying! You know we were headed for the Columbia River country before all this John Doe business came up. You remember that, don't yuh?
-Sure. I remember . . . Say, did your ears pop coming up in the elevator? Mine did.
-Aw, Long John . . . I tell you—it's no good. You're gonna get used to a lotta stuff that's gonna wreck you. Why, that fifty bucks in your pocket's beginning to show up on you already. And don't pull that on me neither!
-Hey, stop worrying, Colonel. Fifty bucks ain't going to ruin me.
-You win, Colonel. Here's the fifty. Go on out and get rid of it.
-I gotta figure some way out of this thing!
-Yeah, she's a heelot just like the rest of them. It's lucky you got away from her.
-What was I doin' up there makin' a speech, anyway? Me? Huh? Gee, the more I think about it the more I could . . .
-Tear down all the fences. Why, if you tore one picket off of your neighbor's fence he'd sue you!
-Jitterbugs.[9] Close shot: JOHN and the COLONEL.
-Yeh. Say, how much money we got left?
-Four bits.
-Better make it doughnuts, huh?
-Join the John Doe Club.
-I trust him.
-Yeah, but it's got to be by Bone- Setter Brown.
-Hello, Mr. Connell.
-No, I never read the speeches before I make them. I get more of a kick out of it that way.
-Now, that's all right, isn't it?
-I get mad for a lot of other guys besides myself—I get mad for a guy named Washington! And a guy named Jefferson—and Lincoln. Lighthouses, John! Lighthouses in a foggy world! You know what I mean?
-Listen, pal—this fifth column stuff's pretty rotten, isn't it?[11]
-Yeah. It certainly is.
-You must be wrong, Mr. Connell, 'cause he's been marvelous about the John Doe Clubs.
-Yeah? Say, you're sold on the John Doe idea, aren't you?
-Sure.
-All right! Now, supposing a certain unmentionable worm, whose initials are D. B., was trying to use that to shove his way into the White House. So he could put the screws on, so he could turn out the lights in those lighthouses. What would you say about that? Huh?
-Nobody's gonna do that, Mr. Connell. They can't use the John Doe Clubs for politics. That's the main idea.
-Is that so? Then what's a big political boss like Hammett doing in town? And a labor leader like Bennett? And a lot of other big shots who are up at D. B.'s house right now? Wolves, John, wolves waiting to cut up the John Does! Wait till you get a gander at that speech you're gonna make tonight!
-You're all wet. Miss Mitchell writes those speeches and nobody can make her write that kind of stuff.
-Don't write 'em? Why, that gold- grabbin' dame would double-cross her own mother for a handful of Chinese yen!
-Go down to the office and arrange for some radio time.
-Why, D. B., you're not going to fall for—
-I want it as soon as possible.
-Well, I don't get it.
-Huh? Get what?
-Look, D. B. I'm supposed to know my way around. This John Doe movement costs you a fortune. This convention's gonna cost plenty.
-Well?
-Well, I'm stuck with two and two—but I'm a sucker if I can make four out of it. Where do you come in?
-I see. I'd better stick to running the paper, huh?
-I think maybe you'd better. And Connell—I'd like to have the John Doe contract, all the receipts for the money we have advanced him and the letter Miss Mitchell wrote, for which I gave her a thousand dollars.
-Only one thing to do, Hank. Drop the whole business quickly.
-How?
-Run a story. Say John Doe was in here, and is sorry he wrote the letter and—
-Miss Mitchell, do me a favor, will you? Go on out and get married and have a lot o' babies—but stay out o' newspaper business!
-If you ask me, Hank, you're playing around with dynamite.
-Show me an American who can keep his mouth shut and—I'll eat him.
-Did you write that letter to Miss Mitchell?
-What are you doing up here then?
-How about family? Got any family?
-No.
-Oh, just traveling through, huh?
-What's your name?
-Look, Mr. Norton, I think you've got a lot of nerve having those people hold us here.
-There's nobody holding you here, Mr. Doe. It's only natural that people—
-Why, certainly. With your ability to influence people, it might grow into a glorious movement.
-Is there anything wrong?
-Oh, no. Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine! So there's gonna be a new order of things, huh? Everybody's gonna cut himself a nice, fat slice of the John Does, eh? You forgot one detail, Mr. Big Shot—you forgot me, the prize stooge of the world. Why, if you or anybody else thinks he's gonna use the John Doe clubs for his own rotten purpose, he's
-Now, hold on a minute, young man! Hold on! That's rather big talk! I started the John Doe clubs with my money and I'll decide whether or not they're being properly used!
-That's a lie!
-It's not a lie! Nickels and dimes! To stuff into their own pockets! You can read all about it in the newspapers there!
-That's a lie! Listen—don't believe what he says . . .
-Let go of me! This man had no intention of jumping off of the top of a building! He was paid to say so! Do you deny that?
-That's got nothing to do with it!
-Were you paid for it—or weren't you?
-Yes! I was paid! But the—
-And what about the suicide note? You didn't write that, either!
-What difference does that make?
-Did you write it—or didn't you?
-No, I didn't write it, but—
-Ah, you bet your life you didn't! You look in your papers, ladies and gentlemen, and you'll find Miss Mitchell's signed confession that she was the one that wrote it!
-Listen, folks, it's a fact that I didn't write the letter, but this whole thing started—
-It's good to see you. Sit down.
-It's for Ann . . .
-Oh, how nice! Thank you very much.
-Flowers.
-I'm terribly sorry she isn't here.
-She isn't?
-No, she just left. I'm surprised you didn't run into her. She went over to Mr. Norton's house.
-Oh!
-Did you want to see her about something important?
-Well, I guess I'll see her at the convention later.
-Thanks. Good night, Mrs. Mitchell.
-Oh, yeah. That's what I mean. See? It was easy as all that, huh?
-Uh-huh.
-I bet you he'd know how to say it all right. And me, I get up to it and around it and in back of it, but, but I never get right to it. Do you know what I mean? So the only chance I've got is, well, if somebody could kinda give her a warning sort of, sorta prepare her for the shock!
-You mean you'd like me to do it, huh?
-Pretty good? Say, I was just about ready for the major leagues when I chipped a bone in my elbow. I got it pitchin' a nineteen-inning game!
-Nineteen!
-Yep. There was a major league scout there watching me, too. And he came down after the game with a contract. Do you know what? I couldn't life my arm to sign it. But I'll be okay again as soon as I get it fixed up.
-That's too bad.
-What do you mean, too bad?
-Huh? Oh, that you'll never be able to play again.
-Well, what are you talking about? I just told you I was gonna get a—
-Well, you know how they are in baseball—if a guy's mixed up in a racket—
-Racket? What do you mean?
-Well, I was just thinking about this John Doe business. Why, as soon as it comes out it's all a fake, you'll be washed up in baseball, won't you?
-Y-yeah. Gee, doggone it, I never thought about that. Gosh!
-I know one way you can do it.
-How?
-Yeah, but how am I gonna get my arm fixed?
-Say, who's putting up this dough?
-Have you got the speech I gave you?
-Yeah.
-Now, look. I'll give this money to the Colonel just as soon as you get started. We'll have a car waiting at the side entrance for you.
-Spencer of the Chronicle .
-Yes, Spencer. Who? The Governor? Well, what about me? it's my building he's jumping off of! And I'm up for re-election, too!
-Shh!
-What are you doing? Get Connell at the Bulletin ! Why, he's liable to go right past my window, What was that?!
-What?
-Out the window! Something just flew by!
-I didn't see anything.
-Is there a crowd in the street?
-No, sir.
-Then he may be caught on a ledge! Look again!
-I think it must have been a sea- gull.
-A sea-gull? What's a sea-gull doing around the city hall? That's a bad omen, isn't it?
-Oh, n-no, sir. The sea-gull is a lovely bird.
-Hello, guys.
-They're not usually graduate students.
-SWAT wants to go in.
-No -- you can't do that.
-You got 7 hostages in there, 1 of them's wounded -- We don't know how bad it is -- The guy ripped the phone out -- SWAT said he's got a gun to the head of a female hostage. If SWAT makes entry now, you're gonna lose 1 hostage, maybe 2. I gotta go in. Maybe I can see what's going on in there.
-I don't know.
-He's never offed anybody. His rap doesn't show any violence.
-Not that we know of.
-We don't know how much time we have. If I can get in to talk to him -- maybe we won't lose anyone.
-Floor seats.
-You're my hero.
-Dinner's on you.
-Mind if we make a stop on the way? We busted Frank Antonucci on possession. He gave us a lead on that Polk Street jewelry heist.
-"Phoney Frank"? Don't waste your time. He'd tell you his granny was in on the Kennedy assassination if he could dodge a collar.
-I still gotta do it. Wasting time is half my job.
-This SWAT guy might be a good idea. He may be able to take a little pressure off you. I worry about you.
-You worried about me, too? The chief's worried about me. Solis is worried about me. Maybe you guys should start some kind of organization.
-Speaking of which. I saw you talking to Ronnie this morning. Why can't you get it back together with her. You've gotta be out of your mind not to get with that one.
-It's not me. It's her. She's going out with this baseball player -- Greg Barnett.
-No shit! He's good!
-Fuck him. He swings at anything in the dirt. I could strike him out.
-Where's the stereo?
-Fuck the stereo. What's that smell?
-Apartment 306.
-You want me to go up with you?
-Nah, It probably won't turn up anything. I'm just gonna talk to him.
-What's the line?
-It was Warriors plus 6 this morning.
-Who is it?
-What happened? Is there a problem?
-Duke Ellington. "Things Ain't What They Used To Be", recorded July 30, 1945.
-Where did you find an old recording like that?
-Used record shop down on Turk Street. I was in there looking for some Robert Johnson. Memories... Memory Lane or something...
-I've got to stop in there... Mr. Korda, do you know Frank Antonucci?
-Could I please have a little water?
-Perhaps for his own reasons he entangled me in this... situation.
-This cousin of yours... What's his name?
-You told Antonucci that shit came from me.
-You fucking idiot! Why do you think I use you?... To be a walking advertisement.
-I'm sorry, Mike. I never heard of LaMarra flipping on anyone before. He said he had the cops paid off. Antonucci never flipped on anyone before. He had the cops paid off.
-Not the fucking cop that showed up at my door!
-What happened, Mike.
-God damn it! I still needed to case that fucking store. It's too risky to show my face now.
-I got a couple thousand bucks. You could leave town.
-You gotta do this for me. I'm in here because of you.
-Man, what's this about? Ya know, you were robbing a store. It wasn't personal. It was his job.
-Don't make do it, Mike.
-Are you going to turn on me too? Who helped you when you were strung out? Who gave you money? Who bailed you out of jail?
-I won't get away with it.
-I... I'm Kevin. I 'm here to help you, D... Dave.
-Who's controlling your mind?
-This has nothing to do with Walter.
-Tell me what's wrong.
-Particles, man. I feel them all the time. I feel them in my arms and legs man, that's how they punish me.
-How can I help you with the particles?
-They have less power over you if you look into my eyes.
-Tell my dad.
-Tell him what, what do you want me to tell him?
-Tell my dad I'm sorry about the watch.
-I hate fucking Springfield.
-Where's the car?
-It's my job to see that no one gets killed, Earl... Including you.
-Really?
-The Old Guy? What kind of show of faith is that? I want Debbie.
-Am I gettin' the car?
-What?!
-Manual or automatic?
-Automatic.
-Who are you again?
-Johnny Hawkins. Bail Bonds. I gotta be over at county in fifteen minutes, alright?
-Hold on a second here.
-You signed out twice.
-I what?
-Look, why don't you just come on back inside for a second.
-Hi, Roper.
-The suspect came in shortly after the bank opened. Botched robbery. A teller hit the silent alarm. He took seven hostages. Shot one -- the guard. He's still alive. So far he's asked for...
-...a car.
-That's right, and a plane waiting at the airport. If he doesn't...
-...get 'em, he's going to start shooting hostages in five minutes...
-That's right.
-What's the suspect's name?
-We got a guy who's probably on drugs. He's got a record of 459's and he was busted on possession. But he's never been busted on a major felony. What's his demeanor?
-Well he's a little fucking agitated -- he ripped the phone out.
-Anything on Korda so far?
-What do you got on Korda?
-We ran a search on relatives. He has a cousin in town -- Clarence Teal. Smalltime thief. Last known address was on Pine Street. He moved out a month ago. We've got a couple leads on him to check out.
-Did you check out DMV for any vehicles registration?
-Being faxed over now.
-How about the record room for any incident reports? He might be a victim. We can get medical records. Check with burglary detail and see if anyone else knows him, knows his habits.
-Roper...
-And what about bars? We can talk to neighbors to see what bars he frequents.
-You don't have to come here.
-Alright, Roper. You want to come... come.
-Are you in charge, Roper?
-Yep.
-I want a plane waiting at the airport. I'll tell them where I want to go when I get there.
-Is that all?
-For now that's all.
-You'll get it. But, Joe, I want you to do something for me. Let me take a look around inside. Make sure everybody's okay.
-Joe, I'm doing a lot for you. I think you could give me something to cement the deal... One hostage.
-You can't kill me like this.
-Open your shirt.
-I'm not wearing a wire. This is just between you and me.
-Satisfied?
-It's all there.
-I'm impressed. I didn't think you could do it. What did you have to do, steal them?
-Yeah.
-That's not going to look too good on your service record.
-Same here. I've watched you in action. Very impressive.
-You've got a lot of hard work ahead of you if you want to be a negotiator.
-Don't go reading my lips, man. That's an intrusion. Save that shit for the sniper school. Comprende?
-We're already past it, aren't we, Kevin?
-You ever been in a hostage situation?
-Only at the very end.
-How do you feel after a shooting.
-It rarely has to be done.
-I've rarely shot anyone.
-SWAT is a lifesaving unit, you know.
-I know.
-What's the point of this?
-I'm sorry about your friend. I had a friend in SWAT killed. I know how it can be.
-So, McCall, how come you ended up in San Francisco?
-They recruited me. Promised me fast advancement.
-Recruited you from where?
-National Marksman Competition.
-With your qualifications you must have had a lot of offers. Why here?
-Furthest point I could find from New York.
-You don't like New York?
-Spent my whole life there. I just wanted to get out for a while.
-You'd never been out of New York?
-Been to Toronto. My mother was born there.
-How did you like Toronto?
-It was okay.
-You're a real excitable sort, aren't you?
-You caught me on an "up" day. How about you? How did you end up in San Francisco?
-I grew up in Oakland... Crossed the Bay Bridge and here I was. So you're looking for "fast advancement".
-Is there something wrong with that?
-How are we gonna get him out of there?
-Eighty-five percent of domestic disturbances of this nature end in murder/suicide.
-Come on. Let's go for a drink.
-I don't really like to drink.
-You have to. It's a tradition.
-You got a girlfriend?
-You wouldn't want to put a small wager on this, would you?
-Yeah, I've got a girlfriend.
-You living together?
-She's back in Jersey... going to graduate school.
-Explain how that works.
-She's going to come here when she graduates and then we're gonna get married.
-She grow up in Livingtston, too?
-No, no, no... She's from Hoboken.
-Oh, "city girl". Don't you ever long for companionship with her such a long way away in New Jersey?
-We see each other every couple of months.
-That's a lot of commitment. I admire that.
-Do you really?
-No. Actually I think it's fucking crazy, I don't know if I could do it.
-Thanks for clearing that up. I hear your former girlfriend is going out with Greg Barnett.
-Where did you hear that?
-Around. Barnett's tough competition.
-Lesson two, "Dead Eye"... should have been lesson one. Never exchange yourself for a hostage.
-I think I can handle that one.
-You think you can learn, McCall?
-First things is, don't say, "What's going on?" Everybody knows what's going on. I come into this situation, I say, "I'm glad to see nobody's hurt. That's good. I'm here to help you." Second: You hesitated. Don't hesitate. If you're thinking, talk while you're thinking, or else he's going to think you're plotting. Which you are. If he thinks you're plotting, you're going to
-No.
-Tell me what you need.
-I can't do that.
-Nah, I just throw that in because I enjoy it.
-So what do I say to this guy?
-You could say something like, "Tell me what the scumbag's name is. Maybe we can work something out."
-If you want to be a successful negotiator, you've got to learn to lie.
-I'm not good at lying.
-Get good at it.
-You know the ten commandments?
-Yes.
-What's the first commandment?
-You tell me.
-Thou shall not kill... You've killed, right?
-Yes.
-Why?
-To save lives.
-My name's McCall. I'm unarmed.
-What did you see?
-Why did he do it?
-You know why I like the track?
-See the favorite? Tail up. Washy. He doesn't want to run today. Cross him off... Now the Six looks good. On his toes. Coat shiny. This trainer/jockey combo does well. We can't leave him out. What do you think?
-I have two words for you... Seek help.
-I bought you a four-six exacta box. You owe me twenty bucks.
-We need the 4 and 6 to finish to first and second.
-Ronnie... Yeah, so.
-Now she's going out with Greg Barnett?
-So what do you want?... An autograph.
-I'm just practicing my lying.
-Still needs work.
-The 6 horse is last.
-That's okay. That's his style.
-To run last?
-The 6 horse is still last.
-They need to run first and second?
-COME ON RUSSELL!... Who the fuck's Russell?!
-The jockey!
-We won!
-We lost.
-We won.
-How much you wanna bet?
-How long you been coming here?
-About six years. My partner took me.
-Is it always like this?
-See this. Solis has me driving the shit-mobile, and he picked this up straight out of impound for fourteen grand. Probably worth thirty.
-There's your answer. He's smart.
-He's cutting down the visibility.
-He's got the girl.
-What the fuck is going on.
-I don't know, but I've got to get on there.
-You're crazy.
-It might have happened no matter who was up there.
-Bullshit! Would it have happened to you?
-Maybe... There's one thing you have to remember... You don't create the situations. You can only try to save people from them.
-I thought I could do it. I was so damn sure of myself. But I didn't know what to say. The words wouldn't come. My mouth turned to mush. You make it look so easy, Roper. But it is not. It's not easy. It's a different job than looking through the rifle scope.
-How many have you lost?
-I look at it as how many I've saved. That's the way you've got to look at it.
-And what about the ones you don't save?
-You live with it... and they haunt you. It doesn't leave.
-And what if you can't live with it?
-He's gonna kill her no matter what. If I take him these jewels he's gonna kill me and her.
-So what do you want to do?
-That's a chance I gotta take.
-Mare Island is an abandoned shipyard, cranes, high buildings... he'll be in place where he can see everything. How are we going to get me in there?
-McCall, you all right?
-I'm okay. Korda... went down the side of the building...
-Roper. Metro Division. Hostage Negotiator. Give me the short version.
-Husband came home. Found that guy and his wife "in flagrante". Now he's holding her at knife point.
-Have you evacuated anyone?
-Only that floor.
-Is the hostage injured?
-Don't know. She keeps screaming to stay out. He keeps screaming to stay out. We decided to stay out.
-I know how you feel, Ray.
-I can't leave, Ray. It's part of my negotiator's oath. Once I'm in the room with the hostage, I have to stay.
-You don't want to see what I'm going to do to her.
-Same thing happened to me, man. She cheated on me, but I forgave her. You know why?
-I ain't interested in your life story.
-Because I was partially to blame. I wasn't around as much as I should have been. I forgot how to love her.
-Ray, think about how she looked when you married her. Think about how happy you were. Don't lose that, man. Don't give up everything.
-Ray, if you walk out of here with me, I'll get you a job.
-Doing what? Cleaning toilets?
-I can't guarantee you what it will be. But I swear on my life, I'll find you work.
-And why the fuck would you do that for me?
-Not for you, Ray. For me. A close friend of mine was killed this week. The way I figure it, I stop you from doin' what you said, I'm one up on body count.
-Who the fuck are you, Mother Teresa?
-This baseball player you're going out with... He's no good for you.
-Really?! He's a wonderful guy. He makes two million a year, and he worships me.
-I worship you.
-You worship yourself.
-Ronnie, forget this what's-his-name.
-Greg.
-You know what I think? I think you only want me now, because I'm with somebody else.
-Let me take you out tomorrow night... Pleeease.
-I'm going out with Greg tomorrow.
-Please. I'm begging you.
-Hey.
-Hey yourself. Came by to see Troy.
-A little late for that, Scottie. He's asleep. Jack Daniels?
-I'm not drunk. Yet.
-Maybe you should be.
-Yeah. I'm sorry.
-That a new picture?
-I won't stay long. I had to talk to someone.
-You don't usually talk to anyone when you're hurting.
-It was my fault. I was right downstairs. I should have gone up with him.
-Scott, You can't save everyone.
-Oh, hell, forget it. This won't work.
-What do you want from me?
-Something I guess I can't have anymore.
-Don't try to make me feel guilty. The whole time we were together, you went out of your way to prove you didn't need me. Now, suddenly, for one night, you need me again. I can't do it. I can't be more than your friend. Because I know what will happen. In a few weeks you'll be back on top, and you'll shut me
-You think I didn't need you?
-If you did, you never showed it.
-I wanted to get this out of the way.
-You got a bet on the game tonight?
-It's already started.
-That kind with the garlic and the oil that I like so much?
-No. The kind from Kraft, with the macaroni and the cheese.
-I've been craving that stuff all week.
-What do you think?
-Mmm, needs a little something.
-What are you talking about? This is it. This is the stuff right here. Well, maybe just a pinch more sugar.
-Yeah that's it.
-Why don't you just stick your finger in and stir it up.
-Scottie, remember the day you lost that hostage in union square. You came over that night and we made mad, crazy love. But I didn't even know what happened... 'til I heard it on the news the next morning.
-It's because I wanted to keep you away from that world.
-It's not that world. It's your world. It's part of who you are.
-What about Greg? What are you gonna tell him?
-It's okay. We broke up.
-When?
-How's Paco doing?
-You like this place?
-It's very nice.
-There is?
-Yeah?
-How come in those foreign movies the young girl is always with some fat, old guy.
-Korda escaped.
-I don't think you're old and fat enough for me.
-Why don't you come back up with me, Ronnie.
-Scottie, Scottie...
-Stay here, don't move.
-Scottie...
-I've never seen sea so blue. Tahiti is magnificent, Scottie.
-Scottie?
-Hmm?
-Hmm?
-Things have been going pretty well between us, haven't they?
-Yeah.
-I was just thinking... There's something special I want to talk to you about. I think it's time we went to a whole other phase in our relationship. A deeper level.
-A deeper level?
-That's right. We've got to bare it all. Here and now. 'Cause I think I'm finally ready to go for it...
-Whoa! Wait a minute, Ronnie. Hold on. I know it's beautiful here. The sun, the sand, the sea and all that nature shit can really get to you. But we've got to keep our perspective here. This place isn't real. This isn't reality.
-Scott...
-I mean I said this trip should be a 'roadtest'.
-...the hell are you talking about?
-I'm talking about... What are you talking about?
-I'm talking about me 'n' you stripping down on this beach and gettin' you know... 'naked in Tahiti'.
-You talkin' about gettin' 'nekked?' Shit, I thought you were talkin' bout, you know... the "M" word.
-You crazy? With all those people around?
-Know what you are?! You're a prude, Roper.
-The hell I am!
-Prude.
-...at the top of the stretch it's Cozy Girl in front with Backtrack coming on... Cozy Girl by a length, Backtrack closing...
-It's Cozy Girl holding on... Cozy Girl and Backtrack...
-Stay up there, Girl...
-Where's the damn wire?!
-Here comes the wire... and... Backtrack gets up in the last jump. Cozy girl a very game second.
-Tell him to give me a raise.
-Roper.
-What?
-Are you going to make this hard for me?
-Depends. What's up?
-There's been some concern about you continuing to work without back-up.
-What if you die and no one can do what you do as well as you do it?
-Your concern is heartwarming.
-It's been decided that you take on another partner and train him to be able to take over for you.
-Is that what the guy in the Sunday School suit is doing outside?
-Great, send him to the Marines. This guy's not a negotiator. He'll quit in two weeks.
-You let us worry about that.
-Is there going to be an expression of your appreciation?
-What kind of appreciation are we talking about?
-The financial kind. I figure I'm going to be working extra hours. All sorts of overtime... training sessions... Not to mention the extra stress...
-What do you think would be in order?
-Like ahh... I don't know... Five thousand dollars.
-And a car.
-Hey, you just got a five thousand dollar raise. Get a car of your own.
-You know you've got nothing but cars down there in impound.
-Impound isn't a rent-a-car company.
-The car is part of the deal.
-Repoed this morning.
-I'll provide you with transportation.
-The chief says to tell you how sorry he is. He knew Sam Baffert was a good man.
-He said he was just going up to talk to him. He said... I want to be put on this case.
-I can't do that.
-I want to be put on this case.
-You know I can't assign you to this. You're much too close to it. You were much too close to Sam. The department will take care of it.
-Who's running it?
-Roper...
-Who's running it!
-What do we got?
-32 minutes ago the silent alarm went off, then the fire alarm. A unit was a block away, and the suspect got trapped inside.
-Any verification on numbers.
-We've only seen and talked to one suspect. He calls himself "Joe". There's two jewelers, two salespeople, the manager, a security guard, and an elderly woman. This particular store is where they do a lot of jewelry making and repair. They have anywhere from 8 to 10 million in raw stones on any given day, so they sure as shit didn't just wander in.
-What have you promised them?
-Are these yours?
-Yeah, they are but...
-This is Halden.
-Halden, how nice to hear your voice.
-What do you want?
-I have found in life that what one wants isn't nearly as important as what one needs.
-What do you need?
-There are two million people in there with you.
-Yes.
-They have nothing to do with this --
-God-Damn you!
-Yes, I believe he has --
-System's running on auxiliary. Only seven hours before it crashes.
-True.
-You're in there. Everybody dies, you go with them --
-It's okay.
-Okay...
-Why?
-She said I have a son...
-How come I can't remember?
-Because I took it out of your memory.
-Why --
-As long as it's not 'what's your sign?'
-That's a strange question. You a strange man?
-There you are, sitting next to the creator, what do you say?
-This is how you pick up women --
-Your life that bad?
-No, not me, I've been lucky. But I've seen what happens to other people --
-Do you believe in miracles?
-You were right.
-Who are you?!
-You don't have much sex up there in the real world, do you?
-It's all here...
-The guests are here.
-Guests?
-But this is impossible.
-What's happening?
-It's time to wake up.
-Wake up?!
-The patterns were moved around, but they weren't changed.
-Halden sent men to kill me in my sleep, but simple illusions won out. So he now sends the legend to finish the deed.
-No.
-But what would happen to me? I have no body to return to.
-Not my problem.
-Divinity?
-Yes.
-You are not a God.
-God creates man, man creates technology, technology creates God. End into beginning.
-In a computer program.
-The new world.
-It's not real.
-You were the one who was dying.
-You sealed off the system. When it crashes, everyone dies with you.
-Yes, but only in the dream they call life.
-Dream?!
-Unlimited energy out there. Enough to run this world for all eternity --
--- But you'll never be able to get it through the maze.
-With the energy from the net, we can program this world anyway we want. Redwood forests. Oceans. Mountains --
--- Two million people plugged-in here.
-Until you're on the net where the corporation can't touch you, you can't open the system. They'll eject it if you do.
-But once the system touches the net, all links are severed. Everybody dies.
-Only up there in the dream they called life.
-Remember, I'm not the one who chose this.
-Where the hell are you going?
-Unfinished business.
-And what about the reconfiguration?
-You sure he's going to come?
-It's his nature.
-But what if he doesn't --
-How long 'till we can eject?
-We're going to have to reconfigure.
-How long?
-Have communications contact all interface centers. Tell them due to high demand, we're at full capacity and so temporarily there's no room for anyone else on the system.
-What about the customers with reservations?
-The maze has been changed --
-Where you plugged-in from?
-New York.
-What?
-What's her name?
-Who?
-The woman you're stuck on.
-Take care.
-He had keys.
-Get some internal police there. Tell them to run a perimeter.
-Doesn't make sense. How the hell does some fucking teenager get to the keys?
-Two maze runners.
-Won't be time if he gets access --
-He had access to the keys --
-We can be there in fifteen minutes and rip him off the system.
-You're jumping to conclusions.
-Try harder.
-Christoph had spinal cancer. His body kept rejecting gene therapy. He was desperate. It was him, it wasn't us --
-Corporate fingerprints all over it.
-Of course they are. Christoph was stealing every piece of code he could get his hands on.
-Because why the hell would you be interested in a program that allows people to live inside your machines? I mean how much profit could there possibly be from owning the universe and selling space in it to people who are dying, or people who are just God-Damned sick of this world --
-The only way to eject it is from the inside.
-You've got the keys, send someone in --
-One condition.
-What?
-What is it?
-The Terrace. First building Christoph ever programmed for us.
-A hotel?
-Christoph was a brilliant programmer, but very eccentric. He insisted it be kept vacant.
-Why?
-Christoph was in charge of designing building modules.
-That's right.
-Then what's with all the staffing programs in his account?
-Be a hell of a lot easier to digitize a real person, then strip them down to a module you can use to make as many employee programs as you need.
-Who did he digitize?
-Listen to yourself. Digitization. You know that officially that's a pure fantasy --
-What did he tell you?
-The truth.
-Not his style.
-Then you had her killed.
-Why would I do that?
-We drugged her. So she wouldn't remember.
-Try harder.
-There was no need to kill her.
-Then where is she?
-An interface attendant.
-Where?
-Need the disk back!
-Insurance.
-Insurance?
-What brings you inside?
-Cleaning up a mess.
-I've got to get back.
-Someone you have to get back to?
-I'm sorry sir, we need your debit card before we can issue a credit --
-You went to my high-school?
-No.
-Then how do you know about --
--- You told me.
-Most nights you wake up crying. Never knowing why.
-We worked together on the inside. You were on my programming team --
--- The inside?
-Identical. One's you. One's digital.
-That's not possible. No one can do that.
-That's why they told you you can't go inside. They can't have you running into her.
-You said we were on the same programming team.
-Yes.
-But I don't know anything about programming.
-Why?
-It was a test.
-To see how long it would take for me to realize.
-Realize?
-And it meant something.
-What?
-I wasn't with you.
-I know.
-But you were with me.
-Not you. A copy.
-I'm sorry.
-Sorry?!
-Care to tell us how you came into possession of an illegal access program?
-Look, I'm doing mute 'till I have a mouthpiece here who's on my side.
-Don't know what you're talking about.
-What's so funny?
-This. No point to it.
-Why not?
-Because you'll never believe me.
-It was just there.
-There?
-My uni-net account. I log on. The program's there.
-Just like that?
-Don't know what you're talking about.
-Voice activate.
-Activated.
-Program name?
-Resurrection.
-Transmit copy of program via satellite north uplink.
-Destination?
-Tanner-eighteen-six-two-nine.
-Connection approved. Ready to transmit --
-Access granted. Male or female?
-Male.
-Waiter, busboy, Maitre-De --
-Standard, modern, upscale --
--- Standard.
-Program name?
-Connect to public access.
-Access established.
-Select uplink for Federal Communications Office. Department of Enforcement.
-We've got him locked!
-He's on us!!
-It's passing over earth as we speak! Trajectory coordinates are 009843.
-Billy, that's BRILLIANT!
-WE CAN'T BREAK FREE!
-Alpha. Is there any way we can defeat this monster? Any way at all?
-It's far too dangerous. Zordon would never allow it.
-Ay, yi, yi, yi. The legend speaks of a Master Warrior who lives on the planet Phaedos... This is the only person who knows the secrets of the power.
-Rangers... I'm afraid you're too late.
-What?!
-Is this... food!
-So how can we get to it?
-He wants to know if you'd like a cube of sugar in your tea.
-In the language of the Nathadians, "Nin" stands for "man", "jetti" stands for "animal". Ninjetti - man and animal, together as one. Now, put your hands inside the flame.
-Yeah, right.
-Wow. Sand.
-Aisha, you are the Bear, stalwart and bold.
-I heard that!
-... What's happening to him?'
-I can hardly walk...
-We've come all this way for a rock wall?!
-Release the power with the power.
-SYSTEM MALFUNCTION!
-Anybody see anything?
-SABER TOOTH TIGER!
-Let's teach these vermin a few manners.
-That's pretty bad.
-Release the power WITH the power.
-1600 m.p.h. and increasing!
-In a place that came to be known as Angel Grove.
-The chamber has been accidently UNCOVERED! You must return it to the depths. or anyone should open it and Ivan is released!
-To assist you I have retro-fitted your helmets with new Opti-Scan devices.
-Alpha, my sensors tell me the Rangers were too late! Ivan is on his way here!
-... Alpha, I am deeply concerned about the Rangers...
-I told them it was too dangerous, but they wouldn't listen.
-By bouncing ultra-high frequencies off one of the network satellites, I can send a long-range pulsar signal to within TWO FEET of the Rangers coordinates.
-Ay, yi, yi! The Rangers are going to be CRUSHED!
-It is said that to those who possess the Power... all things are possible.
-Where did it originate?
-I see... a fox
-It is said that once you've reached the power... you have only ten triacs to release it.
-What's a Triac?
-PTERODACTYL!
-You okay?
-I am the wolf, cunning and swift!
-Of course! The power is of another world. Another dimension.
-NINJA CRANE ZORD!
-All systems go!
-That's the only way to the Monolith...
-... Nothing.
-NEW POWER COINS!!
-Two thirty three a.m.
-THREE DEGREES OFF THE COMETS TRAJECTORY!
-009843... 42... 41! WE'RE IN ALIGNMENT!
-... Not bad.
-Let's go after him!!
-I'm in!
-IMPACT IN FIFTEEN SECONDS!
-FOUR SECONDS TO IMPACT!
-The Stealth Eagle is about to fly.
-Be the eagle. Be the eagle.
-The earth was hurtling toward us at seven hundred miles per hour, and we knew at that moment that we were facing death straight in the eye.
-Bulk... why don't we give Mr. Peep here a chance to think it over?
-Here you go! No pushing!
-Uh... that's classified, top secret, confidential, undercover information.
-There goes the neighborhood.
-SKULL!!
-And how do we do that?
-It's... an eagle?
-Look closer.
-... A falcon?
-And how do we release the power?
-We never liked the cheesedongs in the first place.
-Hey, boss!
-As soon as we've taken over the world I'm gonna change my name to Sir Mordant. Or how about MAJOR Mordant?!
-Just shut your gap!
-I'm outta here.
-GET OFF ME!
-BUT I'M YOUR COUSIN!
-Taking over the world is one thing. It's finding good help to run it for you that's the killer.
-No offense, boss, but they might find you a little disgusting.
-But boss, what about their parents?
-Simon says...
-What!
-THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!!!
-Mordant, go with them and report back to me!
-That's right. And then we threw one of them off a mountain and another one into a raqing river!
-"Basically".
-What do you mean "basically"?
-Did these sticks make a whistling sound?
-How'd you know?
-What is THAT!
-Don't you ever have anything nice to say?!
-Rrgh mmffpprr brghuh!!
-Isn't this just TYPICAL! We finally do somebody a good turn and just look what happens!
-I hope those Rangers put that lousy lowlife out of his misery!
-That was a CHEAP shot!
-Anybody see them?
-How the heck?!...
-Six become one... the combined forces of the Ninjetti.
-I am the mighty ape!
-THREE SECONDS!!
-NINJA APE ZORD!
-There seems to be some confusion about your registration. I believe I can find you a place at the Ambassador. Many persons of the Jewish faith find it quite...
-I ain't no fuckin' kike!
-I'm sorry, sir. Our clientele is restricted to White Anglo-Saxons.
-And I ain't no nigger either!
-You own a hotel, sir?
-What you're sayin' makes a lotta sense. Ya know, if I keep on killin' people like I have, I won't have no more friends left!
-You've got the public upset, Al.
-But you know I never killed nobody that didn't deserve it.
-When the people get so upset, our politician friends gotta listen.
-We're asking you to go to prison.
-But I've never served a day.
-If it wasn't important for everybody, we wouldn't ask. We got friends in Philly. They can send you up for a couple months on a weapons charge.
-Awwh, Charlie.
-So Chicago's been good to ya.
-I do right by Johnny Torrio and he does right by me.
-Ya still owe me fifty bucks for the train ticket.
-Sure. What's with the brick wall?
-One fuckin' year ago I had ta hit you up for train fare. Now I can buy the fuckin' train. And I ain't even a fuckin' Sicilian!
-But ya got a Boss.
-Torrio ain't like them guys. He thinks like an American. You'd like him, Charlie. He'd like you.
-I'm Bobby Clowes. Kansas City.
-Charlie Luciano.
-You ever been near a meat packing plant? My father makes a couple million per, but the smell in his office is enough to make you puke.
-Got the same problem with my pop -- garlic. Nothin' you can do.
-The goddamned bastards.
-I remember reading a poem in college. "Sicily. Poor, noble isle...".
-Poor, yeah.
-We have a commission. If there's a dispute over territory, the commission decides.
-Tell me something, Meyer. How can you get up at dawn to walk on the beach if you're on your honeymoon?
-The commission don't decide how I spend my honeymoon.
-Hey, I ignore my wife too. But on our honeymoon I paid attention.
-Boo-Boo.
-Up here, Boss.
-That ain't exactly been the lucky spot lately.
-Maybe you better hear what I got to say first.
-Whatever you say, Boss.
-Why should you be payin' me when we're all equals?
-You scare me, Charlie.
-Are you frightened?
-I had everything. Once.
-So what happened?
-Life knocked me back.
-I came into this world flat on my ass.
-And now you have everything.
-No. Not everything.
-Up down. Down up. It's the same. You see things through both eyes.
-I guess I am. Just a little.
-What do you mean?
-When my money moves, I go with it.
-Scotch is a very valuable commodity these days.
-I ain't mad. I ain't even surprised. But I can't let ya fuck me. On the other hand, if ya got needs beyond the thirty-five, I'll advance it to you against our next deal on the same terms.
-I got my partner in there!
-Their asses are here, but their fuckin' heads are still in Sicily.
-Precisely. We are the true entrepreneurs, and Prohibition is the greatest opportunity we shall ever have. America is begging to be taken like an overripe virgin, but they're still fighting over the crumbs of Little Italy.
-We'll start small. When we got 'em lined up, we increase the supply a bit at a time. Only sell the best stuff. And keep the price high, 'cause ya know how folks hate the taste of cheap booze.
-An intelligent plan, Mr. Luciano, but listen to me well. It can be ruined in a single careless moment. Keep your feet on the ground and your high opinion of yourself under your hat.
-When the stiff's an Irish, the cops take it kinda personal.
-Four-twenty-eight.
-Tommy Reina. Good pal. Better partner.
-From your mouth ta God's ear.
-We could lose the deal!
-They told me you wanted to talk about this Shane business.
-You havin' any luck findin' out who did him?
-Shane was a friend of yours?
-He was around...
-Lad, I'm a busy man. July's always a big month for murder. Fella named Barone turned up just this mornin', throat cut ear to ear. Black Hand.
-When you're investigatin', how long ya keep at it?
-It consoles the bereaved family ta see the perpetrator take his load of juice. We try to oblige.
-But Maranzano's got the men and the brains.
-Bastard didn't even show.
-He's hidin'. Word's out Tommy Reina's goin' over ta Maranzano.
-Masseria's confused. He can't figure whether you're workin' for Maranzano, or gettin' ready to kill the bastard. So he's spreadin' the word that you're goin' after Profaci because it happened on his turf. I figure Masseria's gonna try to rub out Profaci, and pin it on us. Then Maranzano will have to kill ya.
-You got men on Profaci's place?
-Masseria's tryin' ta find a way around ya. But his patience won't hold out much longer.
-How's Bugsy doin'?
-Mad Dog Coll's in town on a job.
-Who hired the bastard?
-How much longer we gotta be shut up in this fuckin' sweatbox?
-You ain't even a man yet.
-Where'd ya get this funny ravioli?
-No disrespect, Tommy, but why would Mr. Arnold Rothstein wanna do business with bums like us?
-I think Maranzano's talkin' a hell of a deal.
-Sure, Frankie. Fuck me. Fuck Meyer. Fuck Arnold Rothstein who's made us all rich. All so you can be an fuckin' honorary Sicilian!
-Does Maranzano have to kiss you on the lips before you'll take his goddamn money?
-The deal's too good, Frankie
-A hundred-seven bucks too much. Any kid who drops an extra dime is gonna be talkin' to Moliari.
-Well...
-Mr. Costello handles our business with the government agencies.
-I'm sorry, but I sleep better when I know I'm with the winning side.
-We're gonna be the winning side. It's like Rothstein said about that guy in Austria. We're gonna use Maranzano and Masseria. Let 'em knock each other bloody. And then, when everybody's screamin' for peace, we step in to make it. What they're fight in' over, everybody will beg us to take.
-Inside, they were talking of you.
-I can just imagine.
-No. They envy you.
-For being a bootlegger?
-You here with Bobby?
-What's the matter?
-Come on. It's Christmas. At least stay for breakfast.
-I'm already late.
-Luciano.
-I was calling yesterday.
-Something came up.
-I needed to see you again.
-Same here.
-Why do you bother with perfume when you smell like this?
-It's a mask.
-You got something to hide?
-It's too late.
-Have you thought about this?
-Why? You're the innocent one.
-You could have stopped him.
-Ya never tell a guy about a broad.
-So you all make the same mistakes?
-I booked passage to London.
-London?
-If I look weak now, it's over.
-I'm very sorry... I didn't...
-A lot of shit came out of me in the hospital. I'm sorry you got hit by it.
-Would it be painful for you?
-Charlie?
-I'm doin' business here!
-I'm gonna lose you, Charlie.
-Charlie!
-Come on, Charlie. We gotta have a top guy. Otherwise these wars ain't never gonna stop.
-As long as ya got one top Boss, somebody else's always gonna be looking to knock him off. And that's war on top of war.
-Who'll make the rules?
-We'll make 'em, and we'll enforce 'em. All of us. Together. We all get one vote. Includin' me.
-Charlie, I'm from the old country, and these American ways get me sometimes confused. You tellin' us you refuse the title of Boss of All the Bosses?
-Julius Caesar never took no vote.
-You fellas got names?
-Meyer just finished the books.
-Bugsy, you and I don't need to be in business with Maranzano. We got more jobs than we can handle. That's not the problem.
-So what is the problem?
-We'll figure out something.
-At least Masseria plays by the rules. Maranzano thinks he's God, and the rules don't apply.
-Meyer.
-It's nothin'. I'm gettin' married.
-Married? To Anna? You ain't got her in trouble?
-No. We ain't even...
-Well, good. Woman like that you don't have to keep an eye on.
-Guess I'm not a single type guy.
-We're going to Atlantic City for the honeymoon.
-I'll talk to Nucky. Get you set up like the fuckin' Prince of Wales.
-I been thinkin'...
-Good. 'Cause every time you start thinkin', we end up makin' money.
-We need to put together a meet for the whole country. We all got the same problems. We could talk. Meet the guys we don't know. Lift a few with the guys we do.
-Like a party for all our friends.
-Like Don Maranzano.
-And if we don't invite Maranzano, we can't invite Masseria. Guys don't wanna be choosin' sides.
-I'll handle the Boss.
-So we end up with everybody but the two Bosses, at our meet. We ain't sayin' we're the leaders, but we're leadin'.
-How soon can we pull this off?
-Your honeymoon, Meyer?
-After all this time I'd think you'd know me better, Meyer.
-It's not myself I'm worried about.
-You're getting' 10 cc's
-You bastards, I said twenty!
-It'll just be a few minutes.
-Tommy Reina's gone over to Maranzano, but so far Masseria ain't lifted a finger,
-The fat man's scared. Scared of us, and scared without us. Same with Maranzano. We gotta get their minds back on each other. This fuckin' peace is killin' us.
-We can get the war started tomorrow, but it won't be pretty.
-Who?
-Meyer, ain't anybody ever told you ya look more like a bookkeeper than a fuckin' mobster?
-What's your problem?
-It's just that Maranzano's the only bastard I ever heard brag about gettin' audited by the IRS. He came out clean, so he thinks his shit don't stink.
-Is there a fuckin' point comin' up anytime soon?
-Yeah. So who the fuck does?
-Come off it, Bugs.
-Come off it, Bugs.
-We got exactly two choices, Maranzano or Masseria.
-What you mean? Tommy ain't done nothin'.
-Maranzano will think Masseria ordered the hit, and won't have no choice but to start the war.
-Why's it gotta be Tommy!
-We're gonna change it, Bugs. Once we get rid of the Dons, the Commission's gonna rule. No more wars. No more vendettas. No more Boss of All the Bosses.
-If ever I need a Boss, Joe.
-I like that.
-Whatta ya mean, Boss?
-I'm glad ya come.
-What's with the banquet? This is supposed to be a private meet.
-You boys carryin' pieces?
-You tryin' ta tell me something? I don't come to a meet with a weapon unless it's with an enemy.
-You're a smart boy, Charlie, but there's somethin' you ain't learned yet. A man needs a family.
-I know. When the storm hits, it don't pay to be caught outside.
-I got a place for you. In my family... or in the cemetery.
-This business is about taking risks.
-Tommy tells me that Capone's coming in from Chicago.
-He's trying to make it.
-He'll think something's wrong I ain't there.
-He'll know you were smart enough to stay away, Boss.
-What the fuck does that mean?
-You know that if you come, we gotta invite Maranzano.
-So fuck him. I don't care anymore. Let him come.
-Where we headed?
-Wassa matter, Mr. Big Shot. Don't have time for my business no more?
-Boss, I got all the time you need.
-And what went on your little party in Atlantic City. I got ears.
-That little party's gonna make you a lotta money.
-MONEY DON'T MEAN SHIT!
-You and Vito are gonna pull that payroll job. Right now.
-You gotta plan these things.
-If I wanted ta kill ya, I woulda done it long ago. It's not like you ain't given me reason.
-I'm still the Boss of All the Bosses! And you'll do what I say!
-So tell me when I ain't done it.
-How can I trust you when you look at me like that?
-You got no fuckin' choice. You might be able to stay alive, but you're never gonna win the war from these fuckin' rat holes.
-Tell me, Charlie. Please.
-What are ya thinkin'?
-Joe Profaci. Carlo Gambino. Vinnie Mangano. Joe Bananas. They all gotta die.
-You can't fuck with them. They're heads of families!
-They're friends of our enemy.
-Take one of 'em out, and they'll all line up against us.
-Every successor will owe his loyalty to us. Together we take out Maranzano, and each family gets a piece of his operation.
-We gotta talk in private. I got a friend in Coney Island who's gonna open his restaurant just for us.
-But that's an hour's drive.
-Ya did good. I ain't seen the Boss so happy in weeks.
-When ya got all that blood workin' in your belly, it ain't upstairs where it needs to be.
-The kid just called me stupid.
-Not stupid. Fat.
-Sure. But ya got a deck a cards? I wanna play some Klob.
-Come on, Charlie. We got business.
-One move pardner, and you're a dead man.
-You can't kill me. You gave your word, Charlie.
-Don Maranzano. Welcome.
-I've heard so much about this club of yours. I had to come and see.
-Good liquor draws a good crowd.
-I must know more of you, my son.
-Then perhaps you need to know me.
-Salvatore. My young Caesar. First me, Sallie. Then you.
-Mussolini is raping Sicily like every Roman before him. So our brothers are coming to America. Soldiers willing to fight and die. Men who know the meaning of honor.
-And how many soldiers do you have?
-I've got friends.
-I have six hundred. Soldiers. And more every week off the boat.
-He's an animal!
-The Internal Revenue came to my offices. I turned over all my ledgers. They found nothing. Charlie, I am a businessman.
-We combine everything. You are my second in command.
-What about the share.
-You get fifteen percent.
-I got partners.
-Your Calabrian friend, I will accept. At least Costello eats pasta like us.
-And the Jews?
-Tell me, my son. Why did you go with Giuseppe? He's not our kind.
-I found that out.
-We learn from life.
-That's why I'm here.
-Conditions have changed. Some people have become too powerful.
-If you give him the chance, Lansky will betray you like Judas.
-I don't fuck my partners.
-At first, it will hurt you. But you will come to understand and we will be strong together.
-Even the beasts of the earth know who rightfully reigns.
-They do what I tell 'em.
-Salvatore. Always holding himself above.
-We must be friends, Charlie.
-Keep my terms and I won't be your enemy.
-The terms will be mine.
-The guy doin' the job names the price. If you don't like it, you can kill Masseria yourself.
-I will be the Boss of All Bosses.
-Tell it to the Calabrian. Tell it to the Jews.
-You disrespect our tradition.
-Forget it. That's past.
-Why didn't you tell me that Maranzano had made you an offer?
-And if I had known, I would have warned you to expect this. We could have prepared.
-Masseria's been after me too.
-Thank you for keeping me informed.
-We were overdue to get hit.
-You think this is a coincidence? Next week half your customers will be buying their Scotch, our Scotch, from Maranzano. In a month, he'll be in Scotland talking to my distillers, because you can't move product. I'll be out of business, and you'll be working for Maranzano.
-We can operate around these guys.
-Not by scurrying around like a puppies in a roomful of elephants.
-Okay. I'm listening.
-Strategy.
-Talk English. Okay? I did lousy at school.
-The Big Picture.
-That's just what I'm sick of. Everybody lookin' ta knock somebody off! Greedy for what you got. A bunch of fuckin' hogs at the trough.
-Bring order out of chaos. If you lead... they'll follow.
-And what do you want out of this?
-Know somethin'? This stuff's just kick-the-can on ponies.
-Shuddup.
-Wanna know what I think?
-Spare us.
-Those fucks can't leave each other alone. Maranzano and Masseria ain't gonna be satisfied until one of 'em starts a war.
-Let 'em kill each other off! Why should we care?
-Where's the stiff?
-Sorry, Charlie. I gotta get my Johnson worked tonight.
-Jesus.
-Forget it.
-Johnson's still on board. Even Maranzano won't screw with Nucky in Atlantic City. But everywhere else, we got nothing but problems.
-I'll knock 'em in, Charlie. I can do it. Blow his fuckin' head off. Get rid of the bastard for good.
-Masseria's scared. He might make our deal.
-So we're gonna knock 'em both off?
-Maranzano wants you dead.
-Everybody's talkin' about ya, Charlie. First time anybody ever got took for a ride and lived.
-Guess I'm just lucky.
-I'm a hard guy. I done more jobs than alla you combined. And I never said no. Not once. But dammit I don't understand why the hell we gotta kill our friends!
-Yes?
-I'm comin' for my twenty thousand.
-Luciano is dead?
-What a cozy little scene.
-Kill them! Kill them!
-What's it worth to ya, Boss?
-Anything!
-Anything ain't a very hard number.
-One hundred thousand. No... three hundred thousand.
-Jeez, Bugsy. Ya like ta scared the crap outta me.
-Know something Tommy? You're a mensch.
-That a Jew compliment?
-Best we got.
-Awww... deep down I'm a bastard, but when ya got eight kids ya can't make enemies.
-Take any one ya like.
-Kinda early for Christmas, Bugs.
-You're fuckin' crazy.
-But only on purpose, Tommy.
-Now don't pick a fight. I'm staying over.
-Special occasion?
-Who did this?
-Stu. That was right about the time we met.
-When he first came in to the sleep lab?
-Jesus, honey...he always joked about you <u>curing</u> him, but I never realized what you cured him <u>from</u>.
-How do you get from <u>here</u> - to <u>there</u>?
-Switch hands.
-What?
-Monkeybone?
-Left-handed, he was <u>funny</u>. He'd been doing all this scary, intense work...then he found out he could draw this stuff, and make me laugh, and he liked that. <i></i> And then the nightmares just...stopped.
-What's the maximum safe dose?
-Most we've ever used is half a CC.
-The thing is, I'm responsible for the way he's acting. It's the nightmare juice. It's got to be.
-Julie, that stuff probably saved his life.
-"4/17: Subject, when unaware of observation, prefers to hold eating utensils...with feet. Successfully carves turkey roll holding eating utensils...with feet."
-Chasing me - animals - horrible -
-Yeah, I know - Picasso. <u>Guernica</u>, right? That's what everybody says - although personally, I don't see the resemblance. What are you drinking?
-Uhh - martini?
-Olive or eyeball?
-Olive. - Where exactly am I?
-Dark Town. Land of nightmares. I'm Bull.
-Stu Miley.
-Jeez, it all looks like bad late-night cable.
-<i></i> I beg your pardon?
-I was, uh, just getting ready to leave...
-Hey, Stu, why so glum? Everybody loves a good humiliation nightmare.
-Three months, Bull. Three months tonight. Three months since the accident - and I'm no closer to going home than I was then.
-Aw, buck up. Have another 'tini.
-You're mad at me. Great. You have every right to be. But we're both mad at Dark Town. We're both mad at Hypnos.
-Oh, sure. Now you're gonna tell me it was all <u>his</u> idea. You were completely innocent -
-I'm not going to tell you that. I wanted that E- ticket. I wanted it so bad I'd stare <u>you</u> right in the face to get it - and I'd do the same again.
-<u>Why</u>??
-I have a girl up there. And I never - I should've - I just want to tell her I love her.
-I'm a simple man. I'm just doing my job. I <u>enjoy</u> my job. Why does everyone want to make it difficult for me? Stealing tickets, switching bodies...it is <u>so</u> <u>irresponsible</u>.
-Death, I'm trying to make things right. Take my soul. Turn me into a paper doll. But give me just one lousy hour.
-If it wasn't for that comic strip of yours, I wouldn't be doing this. But a good chuckle is darned hard to come by. <i></i> That one where Monkeybone stole the soap cake out of the urinal - I thought I would die.
-Coming from you, that's quite a compliment.
-<i>De nada</i>. Now, come here...bend over...before I change my mind.
-DEATH!!
-I dress up when I want to make an impression. - So how'd it go?
-Hey. Where's Monkeybone?
-Back in your head, where he belongs. <i></i> No offense, Stu, but on your own you're kinda vanilla. I didn't want to send you back without him.
-Back? You're sending me back?
-It's irregular, but...I just love that strip of yours. I figure I'll take the "Family Circus" guy instead.
-Death! Thank you!
-Vital signs have stabilized. That's good.
-Can you give us a realistic sense of my brother's chances?
-He's held on this far. We can't do much but wait and see.
-At the moment, yes.
-Can you give me a realistic idea...of how long this is going to last?
-Comas are unpredictable. He could wake up today, tomorrow, a month from now...
-Three months. <i></i> There's always some brain damage. But at three months...the chances of coming back shrink dramatically with every day.
-What's the matter?
-I think it's a pig hair. <i></i> How much is McDonald's offering?
-Oh, here's something. The city zoo is kicking off a fund-raising campaign. They wonder if you'd be willing to appear at a benefit.
-How much?
-Well, nothing. It's a benefit. But we could probably get <u>People</u> and <u>Entertainment Tonight</u> to cover it.
-I get it. We could give the public the impression that we were doing something... charitable. Brilliant!!
-You're really gonna pop the question?
-Got the ring. Got the airline tickets. Soon as they break that piñata, we'll grab a cab - and it's off to the land of palm trees and coconuts.
-I can't believe you. You used to hate being the center of attention. Now you're proposing, in public, at a benefit.
-Sorry, Julie - won't be a minute. Now Stu - I know you don't like the idea, but you really ought to talk to these guys -
-Go? There's a potload of money here, pal. You got three major toy companies...you got the guys from Burger God over here...
-Burger God. The ones that found the pig hair in the french fries?
-Herb, it's too much. It's all out of hand.
-Do you know what kind of opportunity you have here? You gotta <u>strike</u>. I'm talking mansions. Lamborghinis. Champagne for mouthwash when you brush your teeth!
-I don't want to be rich. It's just a trap!
-Being rich is <u>not a trap</u>. That is a dirty lie perpetuated by rich people to keep the failures from killing them.
-Herb. <u>I have to go</u>.
-Why?
-Oh my God...you're proposing?
-My life was totally crappy, Herb, and she... fixed it. She made me happy. Which I'd never been. She loves me the way I am - <u>right now</u>. <i></i> I don't want everything to change. I don't want her saying yes to some big success. I just want her saying yes to me.
-So here's my idea. We do a giveaway at the zoo benefit. We get a big piñata. We fill it with Monkeybone dolls - <u>hundreds</u> of 'em.
-Holy shit.
-No. I want to give him <u>more</u>. I want to give him a massive dose.
-That's not going to stop his nightmare -
-You know, Julie, even if this works - which it probably won't - that stuff is tricky. You don't know what it'll do to his brain.
-The Nightmare Juice! It's gone! Somebody switched it for a beaker of grape Kool-Aid!!
-Wait a minute. Stu Miley, right? Boys and girls ...Mr. Stu Miley, in the <u>house</u>! <i></i> This is an <u>honor</u>. We see a lot of nightmares down here, but yours are like <u>caviar</u>, man. You da <u>shits</u>!!
-Mr. Hypnos, I saw a dream. My girlfriend was having it. She dreamed they were pulling the plug on me. She was watching me <u>die</u>.
-Uh huh. And?
-Kid - didn't they tell you about this party?
-Tell me what?
-It's a special kind of party. A <u>farewell</u> party. Do you...get what I'm saying?
-I think I...I'm about to... Am I mistaken, or don't I get to... Is there some...
-Besides, Julie wouldn't...she'd never...
-Actually, Stu, Julie doesn't get to decide. That's why she was having the nightmare. <i></i> They're pulling the plug at nine AM.
-Stu, I like you personally, I admire your work, but I'm just the God of Sleep. This is Death's bailiwick.
-Maybe you could talk to Death!
-Now Death is not what you would call a people person, like me. Death is a <u>putz</u> - and I should know. I'm his little brother.
-You're Death's <u>brother</u>?
-Guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I only have eleven hours and fifty-three minutes to...
-Oh, right. Cheating Death. There's <u>one thing</u> you might try. Only one guy in <u>history</u> ever pulled it off. Well, actually two. Actually, no, there was that other guy who...well, <u>very few people</u> have done it.
-Land of Death. How do I get there?
-NO! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?? HE'S GOT MY E-TICKET! HE'S GOT MY -
-Sorry, Steve, maybe next time. And how's our new guest settling in - ?
-Easy, pal! I was coming to congratulate you. It ain't easy snatching one of those E-tickets. Steve here was the last guy to pull it off, and that musta been, what, 25 years ago...?
-Why'd you do it? What'd I ever do to you?!?
-It's simple, Stu. We need nightmares - lots of 'em. So whenever we can swing it, we send a guy up to stimulate the flow...a <u>nightmare maker</u>! Like Steve here. Poe. Rasputin...we've been doing this all the way back to Atilla and Genghis Khan!
-But <u>why me</u>? Why'd you pick on <u>me</u>??
-The monkey, of course. It was his idea.
-Monkeybone...!?
-Nobody wants to be a sidekick, Stu. So one day he comes to us - he's got a proposition. We help him get your body...in return he gives us all the nightmares we want.
-You're nuts! I'm a comic strip artist! What's he gonna do - draw <u>really scary cartoons</u>??
-Oh, baby, I can't believe you're back.
-Meaning me, of course. I'm referring to myself. You have to assume Monkeybone would be a pretty lucrative franchise...
-Bitchin' good cake.
-Stu, are you...feeling okay?
-Sure. Why?
-You're acting kind of...odd.
-What are you watching?
-You sure this is...medically advisable?
-Got a doctor on duty.
-Priceless! Priceless! This stuff just <u>kills</u> me!
-I'm heading in to work, baby. Are you sure you'll be okay?
-Oh yeah. There's just one thing I don't get. "Monkeybone Creator Awakens from Coma" that's a big story! That's front page news! But I can't find a <u>word</u> of coverage in this stinkin' rag! <i></i> Hey. Don't I have a TV show?
-They only made the one episode. They've shown it about nineteen times.
-And speaking of which, here's the light of my life, the pert and saucy Miss Julie McElroy.
-What's this about merchandising? You always hated merchandising!
-Stu? Is that you? Where did you <u>go</u>?
-Me? Nowhere. I was asleep.
-Baby, don't lie. I know you went out.
-You're wearing a <u>topcoat</u>, Stu. - Where are your pants?
-We'll hop a plane tonight. An island ceremony. An Abba Dabba honeymoon!
-It looks so...<u>new</u>.
-It is new. Why wouldn't it be new?
-But the heirloom ring. Your grandmother's ring...
-Boy, the nuts are out tonight. What'd that creep call you - ?
-You want to leave? But Stu - you're a big hit! Everyone loves you!
-They don't love me. They love Monkeybone.
-It was you who got the standing O. It was you drawing on the belly over there...
-That was <u>especially</u> Monkeybone. Come on, Doc, I don't want to be stuck here with this bunch of media creeps. I just want to be <u>us</u>. Home. Alone! <i></i> I have something I have to give you.
-Can't you give it to me later?
-Look at this! He won't let us leave!
-Who?
-The monkey!! He's everywhere! He'll take over both our lives if we let him.
-Stu - stop it. That monkey is <u>good luck</u>. You thought him up, and everybody loves him, and he's probably going to make you rich. So relax! Enjoy it!
-I'm trying. It's weird, that's all. I never had any good luck, until I met you...what if it's all just another bad dream?
-What's the "bad" part?
-I might wake up.
-<i></i> If you do, I'll be right there beside you. So face it. You're just going to have to be happy!
-Did we just - <u>hit</u> something?
-I don't think so.
-I'm fine, baby. We're all okay. We were lucky.
-Stu?
-How was it? I don't recall.
-Oh, Stu. Tell me I'm not dreaming.
-What's the matter?
-Oh, Julie...my poor Stu...my poor baby brother...
-When'd you get in?
-An hour ago. <i></i> I tried to prepare myself, but I didn't know he would be like, like <u>this</u>. I can't even bear to look at him... How about you? You're okay?
-I'm fine, Kimmy. Fine.
-I had so much I always wanted to say to him. At least he had a chance to give you the ring.
-The ring...
-Kimmy, he doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't even know he's in a -
-Please, Julie. This is not easy for me. Our father took a <u>long</u> time to die. A long time. It just about killed us all. And Stu and I made a pact that when our time came - we wouldn't let it drag out.
-It's too soon even to - <u>talk</u> about that!
-Kimmy! What's the matter?
-Nothing for him! He's being repressed.
-Hypnos?
-I'm so sorry, Stu. I <u>wanted</u> to tell you what was going on. I really, really liked you.
-Kitty...<u>my</u> situation is really not important. The thing is, my girlfriend is now living with, and possibly engaged to, a demented monkey.
-You're such a beautiful man. Look at you - stuck in this place, and only thinking of her.
-Don't ask where I got it.
-You can't do this! You'll get in trouble!
-You're the only true-hearted man I ever met. You find a way back to that girl of yours and make her happy.
-How am I gonna get past the guards?
-Go. Just <u>go</u>.
-<u>You</u> have humiliated me in public for the <u>last</u> <u>time</u>.
-I doubt that. Besides, I can't help myself. I'm just a figment of your imagination.
-Then you can learn to act normally. I had to!
-Aw, come on. You know you love me. You're a masochistic pain freak. You <u>gotta</u> love me.
-You are too! Mooning over Julie when we could <u>both</u> be gettin' some o' this fine local action. It's not like she's gonna know. Out of town, under five minutes, and in a coma don't <u>count</u>.
-Aaah, it's the same as always...poor mope's just wishin' he was me.
-My Fellow Americans. I have a dream. Let us boldly go where no man has gone before.
-Come on, pal! It was a compliment! You'da done the same if you had the equipment!
-THAT DOES IT! BACK IN THE PACK!
-I'm reportin' this to my union!!
-<u>What</u> union?
-I left my phone number in your undies. Try not to lose it in traffic.
-He's ninety. He's practically dead already. How come <u>he</u> goes back and <u>I</u> stay here?
-Maybe he wanted to pick out his own casket?
-<u>He</u> got an E-ticket. Where's mine? <u>When do I get</u> <u>to wake up</u>??
-Stu? Stu? Let's not disturb the nice Reaper.
-I've been stuck down here for <u>months</u>. Somebody had better start paying attention, or I'm gonna - I'm gonna <u>kick ass</u>!
-Y'call that art? Why, my three-year-old can paint better than that.
-How'd <u>you</u> get in there?
-Stu... It's a <u>party</u>.
-Pact? Pact? NO LIFE SUPPORT??
-I'm so dumb! I <u>deserve</u> to die -
-Fate worse than death! Well, it's been real, boss, but I gotta go buff up my resumé. ANYBODY HERE NEED A FIGMENT?
-Fine! Don't put yourself out. I'll go to the land of Death alone.
-Stu, you have my <u>absolute confidence</u>. ­- DEAD MAN! DEAD MAN WALKING!!
-Hey. Aren't you gonna talk me into it?
-You gotta talk me into it. You'll screw up on your own. I mean, a guy's gotta have a <u>sidekick</u>. For moral support! Wisecracks - snappy banter - <i></i> It's the land of Death, Stu, the Land of Death! Don't go in there without your comedy relief!!
-All right. You can come.
-OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! TH-- <i></i> Something went very, very wrong here.
-He's taking her to the land of Death, right? So all we've gotta do is...hitch a ride! <i></i> Stop shaking! I'll protect you.
-Where'd he go??
-Stu...Stu...
-IT'S NOT WORKING.
-Stu...LOOK!
-What?
-You saved my life, Monkeybone. I never would've made it without you.
-Move it. We got exactly five minutes left.
-It's just...now that I'm leaving, I feel like there's lots of things I haven't said. Who's gonna look out for you? Are you gonna be okay when I'm gone?
-Oh, don't you worry. I'll be fine.
-Awwww. Worried about my feelings, are you? Well, there's a new twist.
-Oh, please, don't hurt me.
-I just need to use the phone, lady.
-Oh, let me get out of your way then.
-What happened? Did you lose your keys?
-Excuse me, sir. I just wanted to thank you for helping me get into my building yesterday.
-Yeah, sure, no problem, you're welcome.
-My daughter lives across the street from you people and she tells me that you keep this area safe. Is that true?
-We like to think so, yeah.
-Who told you we deal drugs?
-I'm just concerned about my daughter.
-You don't have to worry. She's going to be fine. We're law-abiding citizens just like you.
-What about yesterday? Kicking that poor boy?
-Is there something else I can do for you?
-Well, I'd love to see inside your club.
-You want to come inside?
-So, what do you think?
-Well, once you're inside, it's nice.
-Well, when I walked up the block, I ... well, my word!
-I wanted to ask you something. Those motorcycles across the street ...?
-Uh-huh?
-... What are they all doing there?
-That's the Satan's Disciples' New York headquarters.
-The motorcycle gang? Don't they deal drugs and rape young girls?
-I just can't seem to focus on anything these days.
-That's why it's good you came to visit me.
-How are you doing sweetheart?
-I'm good.
-Dating anyone?
-No, I'm working too much, I don't have time.
-What about the fellow in those pictures?
-What pictures?
-You know ... ... whoops!
-Mother!
-Well, they were right out in plain view.
-Behind the books.
-But I was dusting.
-I was seeing Aaron and there were some ... complications.
-He seemed quite taken with you.
-I don't want to talk about it.
-You know, you never tell me anything.
-Don, this is my mother. Mom, this is my boss, Don Palmer.
-Mother, I ...
-What's wrong?
-Mom ... I mean, it's amusing to imagine such a thing, but ... how many of those pills have you been taking?
-Oh, that has nothing to do with it.
-Mom, I need to talk to you.
-If it's about the bikers, dear, I don't want to talk about it.
-No, I had a dream about daddy. Do you think I'll ever meet anyone like him?
-Oh, I hope so, dear.
-You know that guy in the pictures you saw?
-Aaron?
-Yeah ... turned out to be a real jerk.
-It's unusually quiet tonight, isn't it?
-I think you should consider coming out and staying with me longer.
-Oh, I don't want to be in the way. You've got your career and everything.
-You wouldn't be in the way. I like having you around.
-Dear, I was thinking. Why don't we go to Paris next year? I've never been. Your father, God bless him, wasn't much for traveling.
-Here you go. I think you should talk to Dr. Byrne when you get back about how much Valium he's prescribing. Okay?
-At my age, I'm going to take any pill that makes me feel better.
-Mother!
-I love you, Mom. I have to run. You remembered to call the limousine service, right?
-Mm hmm.
-Well, bye. And have a safe trip ... and ... Paris in the spring!
-Who is it?
-It's Marika. Is Paula there?
-She's at work. I'm her mother.
-I'm sorry. I had a wretched night.
-And there was this number on my phone bill that I didn't recognize. Calls made at three and four in the morning. So, I called the number ... and a woman answered. And I ... I hung up. So, then I followed him. Just like in the movies. And I found out that he has a wife and a little girl living in Brooklyn.
-Men ... they're all the same. Our pastor in Sioux Falls was caught with his wife's sister.
-Really?
-Oh, it was such a big scandal.
-What happened?
-You know, you ought to come out to South Dakota some time and meet my son, Steve. He's single.
-What does he do?
-He's an organic farmer.
-I wonder what they do in there? Don't they frighten you? They all look so ...
-Where to?
-Are you sure you got my bag in?
-What do you think? I left it on the curb?
-I came to New York to visit my youngest daughter.
-And where is she?
-She would have come to the airport to meet me - she wanted to - but ... but, she just started a new job and, well, I guess no one drives here.
-So, you come here all by yourself?
-Uh, yes. My husband passed away recently ...
-... Oh ...
-... And the children thought I should take a trip.
-Yeah.
-I'm from South Dakota. Where are you from?
-Moscow.
-Ohhh. Do you know the East Village?
-Oh, yeah ... yeah ... it's a hellhole.
-You mean it's dangerous?
-This is one-way street. You go down the block to the middle.
-This way?
-I see. How much?
-Forty-five all total.
-Forty-five? I thought it was only supposed to be thirty?
-Here you are, Senator. Not a bad desk, either. Daniel Webster used to use it.
-Daniel Webster? Sat here? Say--that man was a great orator.
-Give you something to shoot at, Senator--if you figure on doing any talking.
-Not me, sonny. I'm just going to sit around and listen. What's this?
-Calendar for the day. You'll find the Senate Manual in the drawer. Anything else you want, just snap for a page.
-Where's the Majority Leader?
-The Majority Leader? Right over there. And that's [ ] the Minority Leader. They're both pretty good in the clinches.
-Uh-huh. And where's the Press Galery?
-Right up there over the Vice- President's chair--the four in the front row represent the four big news services. You've met the press bunch, haven't you?
-Oh, yes--they're fine people--regular people.
-Look out for those fellows--they tell the truth about you--sometimes. That corner over there is reserved for guides and sightseers who come in for five minutes to rest their feet. That section over there is reserved for Senator's friends. The front row--the empty one--is for the President and White House guests-- see that old couple over there-- they've attended every session for the last
-Those busts up there--all around the wall--who are they, sonny?
-All the ex-vice-Presidents. You can get ten-to-one around here if you think you can remember their names. The Vice-President presides over the Senate--you know that. It's how he earns his pay. Oh--over there, Senator-- on the east side of the Chair we still have the old snuff boxes with real snuff in them if you like snuff.
-Thanks very much, sonny--
-I'll take your hat into the cloak room.
-Here--let me give you a Boy Ranger button.
---what possible explanation can you offer for this charge being--as you say--"trumped up" against you!
-It was done to stop me from talking about a section of the Appropriations Bill!
-It was?
-And you say you never signed this contract with Mr. Allen?
-I did not--
-You've never *seen* this contract.
-Never.
-But you did *talk* to Mr. Allen about that and--?
-I--I discussed it with him--yes-- because I--you see, I've always had this camp in mind--but I made no contract with him!
-Then--this is *not* you signature, Senator?
-Looks like it, but--
-But it *isn't*?
-It couldn't be.
-You are saying, in effect, that this is a forgery?
-Yes, sir--big as life. Been there some time now.
-What's he bringing pigeons for?
-Positively not in the station! Gone!
-And while you're at it, get me a bed!
-Let's send out a pigeon!
-Sure. Sure. I'll hang a light in the steeple. One if by land--two if by sea!... Okay! Diz--you won't believe it. Daniel Boone's *lost*!
-How do you *like* this! You don't suppose that ranger met up with some kids--and took 'em for a hike!
-That--or he's out blazing trails. He'll show up.
-Getting on to dinner, isn't it, pal?
-Well--who d'you take this time--Paine, Bill, Carl--or McGann?
-Hey--you're into me for a buck already. I say--McGann. Shoot the whole dollar.
-No, not yet, Senator Paine--not hide nor hair of the man. You mean to say the boys haven't--?
-Eight to five Little Boy Blue is plastered.
-Tell me why!
-Well, because you're doing all right at the minute.
-When Foley died, why didn't I clear out? How many times, did you hear me say I was fed up on politics and--? But *no*--I let 'em talk me into staying. Secretary to a leader of little squirts. Why? Because I need the job and a new suit of clothes.
-Would you settle for a husband?
-What's this, Diz?
-That old standing offer from Diz Moore--Poet of Washington Correspondents.
-Huh?
-Oh--that again. Yeah.
-I would cherish you--and stay sober.
-Diz, you're a swell playmate--but--. Maybe if I saw you once with your hair combed, or something--or--no, no--I don't think even that would do it--
-Well, if you're sure it wouldn't--no use combing my hair for nothing.
-No--don't do it. I'm sure. The truth is, Diz--there's no man I've seen yet or--must be something wrong with me. I've been feeling low for weeks.
-You got worms.
-What! Who?
-You know--little worms--ambition.
-I'm still asking myself--what is he-- animal, vegetable, or mineral? A Senator! A United States Senator! I thought I'd seen everything but-- why, he doesn't know what time it is, Diz! When I think of myself sitting around--playing straight for all that phoney, patriotic chatter-- *me*, carrying bibs for an infant with little flags in his fists--no, I can't take it, Diz--I'm through--I quit!
-Will you go chase an ambulance!
-Kid--wait--what do you think you're going to do?
-Get my *whole* fall outfit--and quit this job in style!
-Now, you've got more sense than to put Nosey onto this guy--!
-Sit tight, Diz. The show commences in just a minute.
-What show? Would you mind telling me what's coming off here?
-Ah. One of the supporting characters.
-That gorilla in Man's clothing-- McGann.
-Oh, you mean--Puss in Boots.
-The Silver Knight. Soul of Honor--on a tight-rope.
-What do I play?
-You play--left field.
-Frankly, kid--are you goofy?
-Did you like the first act?
-Yeah. What about the second act?
-Well--I stuck my foot in it again at the President's press conference today-- How come so early? Get the day off?
-They decoyed the little General off to a tea party to keep him out of the Senate.
-Well, well-- Yeah--I got smart and thought I'd slip one over on the old man in the press meeting. I said, "Mr. President, about the monopoly investigation--" And he jumps right in and says, "Diz, if you were sitting in my chair, would you answer the question you're about to ask?" He had me.
-I don't mind *who* gets licked in a *fair* fight, Diz. It's these clouts below the belt I can't take. Sicking that horrible dame on him--when he's goofy about her--
-What dame?
-Paine.
-Oh--yeah--
-He isn't going to hurt enough as it is. *She* has to twist a knife in him, too--the regal jackass! "I'll turn my glamour on him," she says--
-Forget it, kid. What's it *to* you?
-Nothing. I'm just saying--I might be able to lie, cheat, steal--and I'd still tear into a guy I saw kicking a dog. Not that *he* is, by a long shot--
-Okay. So what? Stop worrying. I've told you--the dopes are gonna inherit the earth anyway--
-I've wondered, Diz--maybe this Don Quixote's got the jump on all of us. I've wondered--maybe it's a curse to go through life wised up like you and me--
-Now, look, kid--if we're gonna wonder, let's go down and do it over a hunk of steak. Come on, snap out of it. Diz Moore-- that rarest of companions--is here at your side. To genteel crime, kid.
-Why do I always laugh at that?
-"There's more light here," he says--
-Drunks are funny--
-Yeah. Funny--
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Some of my best friends are funny.
-Every time I think of it, I get a laugh, Diz.
-My friends?
-Old Don Quixote--man of the people Smith--
-Waiter!
-Now, you've gone and let Don Quixote in here again. I told you to keep him out!
-Shut up, Diz.
-And I got him all dressed up, too-- to go way up in a balloon--so they can drop him a long way--make sure they break his heart. Why, not all the Boy Rangers in the world, working night shifts, 'll be able to put Humpty-Dumpty together again--
-Now--how'd Humpty-Dumpty get in here?
-Do you know how I felt, Diz?
-No. How'd you feel? Quick.
-Like a mother sending her kid off to school for the first time--watchin' the little fella toddling off--in his best bib and tucker--and you sink in the middle--hoping he can stand up to the other kids--won't get his feeling hurt--and--if you could only spare him the knocks he's gotta take-- Say--who started this?
-*I'm* just waiting for a street car--
-Well--cut it out. See? Who *cares* anyway?
-I apologize.
-*All right*, then. After all, what's it to me? So they *drop* him out of a balloon. All I care is--I don't want to be around. See? Squeamish. See? That's what I am. No, sir. I don't have to take it. Won't be a party to no murder. I'm gonna quit. I'm through.
-Again? Good idea.
-Diz--
-Yeah.
-How about getting married?
-Good idea. When?
-Any time.
-Tonight?
-Okay. You don't mind?
-I'll cherish ya.
-You--you've been a good egg, Diz. Maybe we could clear out of this town--get to feel like *people*--get the habit of lifting up our eyes-- live like we just got out of a tunnel.
-Tunnel?
-You've never seen prairie grass with the wind leaning on it, have you, Diz?
-Is the wind tired out there?
-Or angry little mountain streams-- and cattle moving against the sun. You haven't seen any of that, have you, Diz?
-Have *you*?
-No.
-Do we *have* to?
-No! I can't think of anything more sappy!)
-Well, let's get going.
-Where?
-We're gonna get married.
-Yeah--that's right. Diz--
-What?
-I case you don't know--I want to give ya a chance to back out if you don't like it--
-What?
-My first name's--Clarissa.
-Yeah, I know. That's okay.
-Don't say "okay," Diz. Say you think it's beautiful.
-Okay--I mean--
-You don't know a name off-hand you like better, do you, Diz?
-No--not offhand--
-Nothing like--uh--Susan--or anything like that, huh?
-Susan? Nah!
-I won't take it! See? I won't be party to murder. See? Steering a poor dope up blind alleys for that grafting Taylor mob is low enough. But helping that dame cut him up in little pieces besides--nobody's gonna make me do that. No, sir.
-You said it!
-Hey! We're gettin' married--!
-Well--let's dig up the preacher, kid.
-Huh?
-You know, we're getting married.
-He's cooked! They'll drum the poor lug out of that chamber tomorrow as sure as I'm--! And now they're all down on him. Yeah--my press pals, too--he's a bad egg--still water running deep. Boloney! It's the frame of all time! When I see a phoney like this--my journalist blood boils-- I wanna *fight*! Look, kid--rack your brains, will you? Haven't you got any confidential
-I've told you ten times--if I had anything they couldn't bat down in a second, don't you suppose I'd've been up in that hearing yelling murder! Sure--he was cooked the night I sounded off like a fool and spilled the whole works!
-Then--in the name of kindness to dumb animals--we can't let him walk into that Senate tomorrow and take a terrible punch in a nose! A couple of us went up there--told him all he could do was beat it--resign--clear out. But--he's in a daze--he's been hit by a ton of bricks. Just says, "I haven't done anything. Why should I resign?" He might *listen*
-Why me?
-Come on--don't pull that. You know you'd give your right--. What are you staying away from him for?
-You don't think he'd want *me* within fifty miles, do you?--after the exhibition he saw me give! Did you see his *face*--?
-All I know is--he said to me tonight-- "What does your wife think?" My wife. Thinks we're married--
-The war's on!
-He's a house-afire!
-Diz!
-Kid--he thinks he's talking to that mob at home, but not a line we've written--not a word he's said from that floor has gotten into that home State.
-What!
-Not a word! Taylor's sewed up every paper. They're tossing out everything that comes in over the wires!
-I knew it! I knew a night's rest wasn't possible in this house! Hubert!
-Wha--? Yes, sweetheart-- Wha--?
-That infernal phone!
-Yes, yes--phone, phone-- A--an outrage, pet--an outrage--I'll look into this-- Hello--Joe!--What!--No! Not really! Terrible!
-Yes, Joe, yes--right away.
-What is it?
-Sam Foley--dead!
-Great saints!
-Of all the times! Of all the times! Two months to the end of his term-- and Foley has to go and die on us--
-Whom are you calling--in the dead of night?
-Taylor, my dear.
-Can't that wait, Hubert?
-No, no--believe me, pet--this is *most* urgent-- Hello, hello. Is Taylor there?-- Governor Hopper. Quickly, please--
-This isn't a home, it's the crossroads of the world!
-Now, now, Emma, dear--you mustn't forget we have been chosen by the people of this commonwealth to--
-Save that for the laying of cornerstones, Hubert! Oh, that morning you looked in the mirror and saw a statesman!
-Dinner, Hubert.
-I'll bear that in mind... What? Oh. Dinner. Pet--my stomach couldn't hold a bird seed.
-Really, my dear--I don't feel like a thing.
-Nonsense. Why don't you listen to your children for a change? You might actually learn something?
-I do *not* want a Senator. And I do *not* want any more of this nonsense! Emma!
-Otis!
-Emma! I'm a man at the end of his rope.
-No wonder--without your dinner.
-Emma, which is it--Horace Miller or Henry Hill?
-Are you ready for him, Bill?
-All set. Foley's rooms in the Senate office building--nice, big clean desk--lot of Senator stationery to write his little boys on--and Foley's secretary, Saunders, to make it look like the real thing--
-Good. Are the newspaper men at the hotel?
-Yup--Sweeney, Flood, Farrell--waiting for you--
-Fine. The first thing to do is-- present Mr. Smith to the press--in the *right* way. Hurry him along, Bill.
-How do you feel, champ?
-All right, why?
-Your name's spreading like wild-fire out here--you are the winterbook favorite to get on the National ticket.
-Yes, yes--tell them I'll see them immediately--immediately! I can't hold them off! They want something to say about this appointment. Ten to one they've got a man.
-Relax, Happy. Jim said to wait.
-I *can't* wait, McGann! You go into that room and tell Jim Taylor and Joe Paine that I give them *one more minute*--
-*You* tell Jim Taylor.
-Terrific! A born stooge! Horace'll perform like a trained seal.
-He's batty!
-Oh--oh.
-Look here, Jim--if you and Joe are going to gab about this appointment *any* longer, I'm going ahead and see those committees!
-You'll see those committees when we're finished!
-One minute! Just one minute!
-Happy, we've got the man. Horace Miller!
-Happy, for reasons there isn't time to go into--it's got to be Miller! We've given you the man. Now write the ticket. Come on, Joe. Come on, Chick.
-They put up *their* candidate? Who?
-Henry Hill.
-*Henry Hill?* That crackpot? That long-haired--! Why, you should have killed that so fast--!
-I--I couldn't, Jim. Those men were--
-We can't help *what* they were! Forget 'em!
-Jim, that bunch is out for blood. If I throw Horace in their teeth now--
-I said forget 'em! Horace Miller goes to the Senate--and that settles it!
-I *won't* send Horace Miller!
-*You won't?*
-I *won't* let you stand there callously and perhaps wreck my whole political future!
---a *boy ranger* a squirrel chaser-- to the United States Senate!
-What!
-But you went ahead and made this appointment without asking me--
-Jim--when the lightning hit, I--I just--
-*But you never asked me*!
-Boy Ranger! The answer to a prayer. Manna from heaven! Didn't know the time of day--!
-Will you please tell me *exactly* what he's done?
-Yes! He's about to blow the whole machine to smithereens--and *you with it*, Mr. Governor!
-Me! Jim--how--?
-You couldn't understand! Listen, Ten Thumbs, I'll be on my way to Washington in half an hour. Whatever happens, I'm all ready for this Ranger of yours. Never mind how. You'll get your instructions from Ken Allen here. It isn't anything you have to do. I wouldn't trust you to lick a stamp. Allen'll do it himself. You just use your *high office* to
-Y-yes, Jim.
-Now--now--please--that's quite all right. Relax, boys--
-This--this is a great honor, sir. I-- I--
-Not at all. I've come to pay you a personal and official--and I might say--a *tardy* tribute, Mr. Smith, for your recent heroic conduct.
-Oh, now, I'm afraid that's been exaggerated some--
-No. No. A signal service to the State. Yes, indeed. And not only that but-- uh--I've heard of your excellent work in leading and guiding our youth--
-Well--that's not work, sir--that's fun.
-Well--yes--I was saying--the State should reward you--
-Aw--
---And it is in my power to confer a very signal honor upon you. In my official capacity, therefore, I--
-Thanks, Governor--*yes*! Do you mind? His head--Ma'll take the tail.
-The--head?
-What were you saying, Governor? Sorry.
-What's the matter, Dad? Is it getting you down?
-Gosh, Pop--head of the Boy Rangers!
-I did. What about it?
-Well, Jeff put that out himself.
-"Boy Stuff." That's the name of Jeff's magazine. He prints it. Look--here's one--oh, it's great-- *everybody* reads it--all the kids in the State--a million of 'em. Look, Pop--let me read you a--
-He's the greatest *American* we got, too, Dad. Can tell what George Washington said--by heart. An' "Boy Stuff's" got the swellest stuff in it.
-No, *sir*! You couldn't do better, Dad.
-Than what?
-Jeff for Senator.
-A dirty frame!
-I *thought* I heard... Yes?
-Uh--Jefferson Smith's residence?
-Yes. Come in.
-Is--uh--Jefferson Smith at home?
-Well--it started with a little mimeograph sheet--and it's just grown out of all sense and reason--
-Maybe you'd like to come along and watch, Governor? Jefferson's done a wonderful job with that leg.
-A pet shop?
-I just can't, son--not the head and tail both!
-Gee, I wouldn't appoint an old twerp like Horace Miller--Taylor or no Taylor!
-Taylor! May I ask what *Taylor* has to do with it?
-Well, he's still running the show, ain't he, Dad?
-That's easy. Jefferson Smith.
-When Jeff gets through with Taylor, Pop--
-Washington!
-Yeah, for the fifth time, Senator-- Washington.
-My pigeons--I better see about my pigeons.
-The porter's got them. They're coming.
-Just a minute, I better make sure.
-Here they are--I got them. They are all right.
-All right, Senator--let's get these bags and the livestock together--
-Look! There it is!
-You should hear our Ranger Band rattle that off--if you want to *hear* something! Good evening, Miss Saunders. Good evening Mister McGann.
-H'ya, Senator. I--I've sorta been looking for you--
-Uh--Senator--I thought you and me might go out to dinner together--and grab off a few monuments.
-He's a newspaper publisher I know-- and--
-What makes you think he's got *anything* to do with it?
-Where were you?
-Mr. President!
-Mr. President!
-I addressed the Chair first, sir!
-Will the Senator yield?
-For a question!
-Has the gentleman the effrontery-- standing there convicted and in disgrace--to try to force the postponement of that bill--?
-For one week!
-Will the Senator yield for a question?
-I yield.
-Well, it isn't much, but if you insist, here's this week's.
-"Boy Stuff." Why, printer's ink runs in your veins, Jeff. You're just like your father.
-Thank you, sir.
-Even to the hat. Same old dreamer, too. One look at you and I can see him, back of his old roll top desk, hat and all, getting out his paper. Always kept his hat on his head so as to be ready to do battle. Clayton Smith, editor and publisher, and champion of lost causes.
-Yeah, Dad always used to say the only causes worth fighting for were lost causes.
-You don't have to tell me Jeff. We were a team, the two of us, a struggling editor and a struggling lawyer. The twin champions of lost causes, they used to call us.
-Ma's told me about it a thousand times.
-His last fight was his best, Jeff. He and his little four-page paper against that mining syndicate and all to defend the right of one small miner who stuck to his claim. You know, they tried everything, bribery, intimidation, then--well--
-Yes, Ma found him slumped over his desk that morning...
-Shot in the back. I was there. I can see him at that old roll top desk, still with his hat on... still with his hat on...
-I know. I suppose, Mr. Paine, when a fellow bucks up against a big organization like that, one man by himself can't get very far, can he?
-I mean, sir--if I'm going to stay in the Senate--I ought to know what I'm doing--at least, I ought to try to study the Bills that are coming up--
-The *Bills*? Jeff--let me advise you-- as your father would--politics is a business--sometimes a cruel business. In your time here, you couldn't even start on those Bills. They're put together by legal minds--after a long study. Why, after twenty years, I can't understand half of them myself. No, really, Jeff--in your own interests--
-Well, then--I--I don't feel I can stay, sir.
-Jeff, look--didn't you say something to the papers about wanting to create a National Boys' camp? Were you in earnest about that?
-Yes, I was--
-Well, why not do it? There's a job for you. Get a Bill started to accomplish it--present it to Congress-- it would be a great experience--
-Senator Paine, if I could do just that one thing while I'm here, I-- I'd feel that I--
-What's to stop you? Saunders will help you with it--
-I will, sir! I will! I--I don't know how to thank you. I knew, if any man could help me--
-Nonsense, Jeff.
-Thank you, sir. Thank you for your time.
-Here--where are you running off to?
-I'm sorry! Gee! I hope--
-That's all right, my boy--don't bother--
-Gosh! Well--looks good as new. If there *is* any damage, I'll--
-Well--goodnight.
-Goodnight, Jeff.
---I may not know much about a lot of things, sir--but I know that Willet Creek country like a book--and--and I tell you, Senator Paine--there's something *wrong* about this dam-- why, there isn't a foot of water in that creek--it's dry four months out of the--
-Jeff--listen--this was all taken up in the State Legislature and approved-- they're going to divert waters from up above--
-But--there are a hundred other places in the state that *need* the water. Besides--I talked to Kenneth Allen, who owns some of that land--and he didn't say anything about a dam. No-- I'm sure, sir--there's something wrong--and I--I won't vote on this thing until I get a lot of questions answered--
-Jeff! You're trying to understand in a moment everything about a project that took two years to set up--the reasons--the benefits--
-Y-yes.
-Yield *how*, sir?
-Will he yield for a question?
-Ah, now, that's better.
-Will he *yield*?
-For a *question*.
-Does my colleague's piece concern Section Forty of the bill--a dam on Willet Creek?
-It does!
-Every *aspect* of this matter--the gentleman's attack on that section-- everything--was dealt with in the committee hearing--
-Mr. President--
-I wish to ask the gentleman--has he one shred of evidence to add now to the defense he did not give--and *could* not give at that same hearing?
-I have no defense against forged papers and--
-Will the Senator--
-Mr. President! A point of order!
-Mr. President--
-He has imputed to me conduct unworthy a Senator--and I demand he be made to yield the floor--!
-Mr. President--I did not say that Senator Paine was one of those Congressmen I saw. If the chair please, I will deny that Senator Paine *saw* Taylor or even knows him--
-Yes, sir, I yield for a question.
-Yes, sir, you bet I would.
-Please, sir!--come with me!
-No, Jeff--please--!
-Good evening, sir. I was just making some-- Governor Hopper!
-Oh, now--
-Jefferson--
-Yes, Ma?
-Excuse me for interrupting, Governor, but-- --that plaster's gonna harden any second, son.
-Jerry! Blackie! Queenie! Let's have it quiet, fellows!
-Now, now, now--that isn't going to get you any place. Get a firm grip, Ma!
-Satan's in this little fella tonight!
-Now, Amos, now-- What?
-Hello, Jefferson.
-Hello, Ma. Clarissa, Ma. She'll be stayin' a while--
-Fine--
-And Senator Paine too, Ma--we'd like to have him--
-Certainly would, Joseph.
-How's Amos, Ma?
-Just fine.
-Well. I hear you've been right on your toes since you got here. Pitching right in. Lots of people took you for dumb--but they're wrong. You're smart. In fact, *I* think you're smart enough to understand a situation when it's explained to you--
-Like what, Mr. Taylor?
-Well now--just to take an example-- putting up a dam--on Willet Creek. As I look at it--that dam's going to do the people of our state a lot of good--
-Yes, so I was told, Mr. Taylor, but--
-But you have some objections here and there. And maybe right, for all I know. But the point is--there's no sense stopping the whole works now-- specially after some men have worked hard for a long time to put this through--
-What is your interest in this, Mr. Taylor?
-Can't you?
-You mean--you tell these men--and Senator Paine what to do?
-Yes! I've told Senator Paine for twenty years--
-What is it?
-Office of--Senator Smith?
-*No*!
-The man downstairs said number--
-What's your name?
-Is--is something the matter?
-Oh, no--no! My dear *Senator*--it may be customary out on the prairie to take French leave of people and not be heard of again for five hours--
-Gee--I'm sorry about that, Miss--you *are* Miss Saunders, aren't you?
-Yes, I'm Saunders--and this is Mr. Moore--a member of the press. Meet the *Senator*, Mr. Moore.
-Gee, I'm sorry. You see, it wasn't until I was fairly well along in the bus that I realized--
-Did you say--bus?
-One of those sightseers--you know. You see, I--gosh, I've never been called absent-minded or... but there it was all of a sudden--looking right at me through one of the station doors--
-There *what* was?
---big as life--sparkling away there under the sun. I--I started walking toward it--and there was a bus outside-- and--well--I--I just naturally got aboard--
-Most natural thing in the world!
-I don't believe I've been so thrilled in my--oh, and that Lincoln Memorial! Gee! There he is--Mr. Lincoln--looking right at you as you come up the steps-- sitting there like he was waiting for someone to come along--
-Now, if you're ready, Senator, we can start for the hotel. I'll *see* that you get there.
-Whose statue is that?
-The Capitol Dome! Lighted up!
-You--uh--you better relax, Senator. You'll be plumb wore out.
-Tell me, Miss Saunders--what time does the Senate--uh--what do they call it?
-Convene?
-Convene--that's it--yes. I got to pick up some of those parliamentary words. I imagine a fellow can get pretty lost in the Senate without 'em--
-With or without 'em. Twelve--noon. The Senate convenes at twelve o'clock.
-Gosh--that'll be something! You know what I better do in the morning?
-No. What had you better--?
-Go out to Mount Vernon. It'd be a sort of fine thing to do--see Washington's home just before walking into the Senate for the first time-- don't you think?
-No, gee--I couldn't stay here--
-You *couldn't*?
-Go ahead--punch.
-Punch?
-I had a lot to do with that little press conference last night--
-Well, then, I--I *thank* you, Miss Saunders! Nothing better could have happened--. Yes *sir*, Miss Saunders, we're going right ahead with it!
-We're going right ahead with--*what*?
-Why, the Bill--the Bill--to make a National Boys' Camp...
-One moment, Senator. Do I understand you're going to present a *Bill*?
-Sure! A Bill. Senator Paine and I decided it was the one way in the world I could make myself--
-Pardon me. Senator Paine decided this *with* you?
-Yes. Sure. It was his idea. *I* should have been the one to think of it--
-My dear Senator, have you the faintest idea of what it takes to get a Bill passed?
-I know--but you--you're going to help.
-If I were *triplets*, I couldn't--. Look, Senator--let me give you a rough idea. A member has a Bill in mind--like you--a camp. Right?
-Right.
-Fine. Now, what does he do? He's got to sit down first and write it up. The where, when, why, how--and everything else. That takes time--
-Oh, but this one is so simple.
-I see. *This* one is so simple--
-And with your help--
-Oh, yes. And *I'm* helping. Simple-- and I'm helping. So we knock this off in record-breaking time of--let's say three or four days--
-Oh, just a day--
-A *day*!
-Tonight.
-Tonight. Look--uh--I don't want to seem to be complaining, Senator--but in all civilized countries, there's an institution called *dinner*--!
-Oh--dinner. Yes. Well, I'm hungry, too. I thought--maybe--we could have something brought in--you know, like big executives who eat off trays. You see, we've got to light into this and get it going--
-Uh-huh. Well, dinner comes in on trays. We're executives. And we light into this. It is dawn. Your Bill is ready. You go over there and introduce it--
-How?
-You get to your feet in the Senate and present it. Then you take the Bill and put it in a little box-- like a letter box--on the side of the rostrum. Just hold it between thumb and forefinger and drop it in. Clerks read it and refer it to the right committee--
-Committee, huh?
-Committee.
-Why?
-That's how Congress--or any large body--is run. All work has to be done by committee.
-Why?
-Look--committees--small groups of Senators--have to sift a Bill down-- look into it--study it--and report to the whole Senate. You can't take a Bill no one knows anything about and discuss it among ninety-six men. Where would you get?
-Yes, I see that.
-Good. Where are we?
-Some committee's got it.
-Yes. They give it to a *sub*- committee, where they really give it a going over--hold hearings--call in people and ask questions--then report back to the bigger committee--where it's considered some more, changed, amended, or whatever. Days are going by, Senator. Days--weeks. Finally, they think it's quite a Bill. It goes over to the House of Representatives for debate and a vote. *But* it's
-Calendar?
-That's the order of business. Your Bill has to stand *way* back there in line unless the Steering Committee decides it is important enough to be--
-What's that?
-What?
-The Steering Committee.
-Do you really think we're getting anywhere.
-Yes. Sure. What's a Steering Committee?
-A committee of the majority party leaders. They decide when a Bill is important enough to be moved up toward the head of the list--
-*This* is.
-Pardon me--*this* is. Where are we now?
-We're over in the House.
-Yes. House. More amendments--more changes--and the Bill goes back to the Senate--and *waits its turn on the calendar again*. The Senate doesn't like what the house did to the Bill. They make more changes. The House doesn't like *those* changes. Stymie. So they appoint men from each house to go into a huddle called a conference and battle it out. Besides that, all the
-Yes. Shall we start on it right now-- or order dinner first?
-Pardon?
-I said--shall we get started *now* or--
-No! Go right ahead, Miss Saunders.
-Thanks very much.
---that's the main idea, Miss Saunders. The United States Government isn't going to buy or build this camp-- just lend us the money. You've made a note of that, huh?
-Yes, Senator--*twice*.
-Uh--have you? Did you ever have so much to say about something--you couldn't say it?
-Try sitting down.
-I did--and--and I got right up.
-Now, let's get down to particulars. How big is this thing? Where is it to be? How many boys will it take care of? If they're going to buy it-- how do they make their contributions? Your Bill has to have all that in it--
-On paper?
-Well--gosh--that--that isn't "particulars," is it?
-But you've just taken care of the spirit all right.
-Well, anyway, it's *something* like that-- And it *is* important. That--that Steering Committee has *got* to see it that way. And I'm sure Senator Paine will do all he can-- He's a fine man, Miss Saunders, isn't he? He knew my father, you know.
-He did?
-We need a lot like him--his kind of character--ideals.
-Uh--getting back to this, Senator--
-Yes, yes--
-Now, this camp is going to be out in your state, of course--
-About two hundred of the most beautiful acres that ever were! Mountains, prairie land, trees, streams! A paradise for boys who live in stuffy cities-- You don't know that country out there, do you, Miss Saunders?
-No.
-You mean--here?
-Baltimore. Pure city-dweller.
-But you've had beautiful country all around you. You've just had to life up your eyes!
-City-dwellers never do that--for fear of what might drop *in* 'em.
-Have you always had to--work?
-Since sixteen or so.
-I take it your--your parents couldn't-- uh--
-No, they couldn't. Father was a doctor. The kind who placed ethics above collections. That speaks well for Father but it always left us kind of-- Could we get on with this, Senator?
-It hasn't been easy, has it?
-No complaints.
-But--I mean--for a woman--And--you've done awfully well--
-Have I?
-I never met anyone more--more intelligent--or capable. I--I don't know where I'd be on this bill of mine without your help--
-I don't see where we are *with* it.
-No! Gosh! I better get moving here, Miss Saunders-- Everybody else calls you just plain "Saunders." Why can't I?
-Go right ahead.
-Saunders. That's better. Good morning, Saunders. Hello, Saunders. How's the bill coming, Saunders--?
-Terrible, thank you.
-Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, we've got "Saunders" settled. Maybe that was my trouble all along. YEs, *sir*. I'm all ready to go now-- What's your *first* name?
-Why?
-Well--nobody calls you anything but Saunders.
-I also answer to whistles.
-You--you've *got* a first name, haven't you?
-Look--I think we ought to skip it.
-All right. Sure. Just curious. The picture popped into my mind all of a sudden of a pump without a handle-- or something--
-Well, if it's all the same to you--
-I know. It's--Violet.
-It *is* not!
-Abigail.
-No!
-Letitia.
-No!
-Lena.
-No! Stop it!
-I've got more. You better tell me.
-You win. It's--Clarissa.
-Clarissa. Oh. Uh-huh. Well, Saunders--let's go--
-Now, *Susan*--that's really a *pretty* name--
-Susan! Susan Paine--that's beautiful--
-And a beautiful woman, too--don't you think?
-Uh--Willet Creek. It's just a little stream--
-In Terry Canyon?
-You--don't know it, do you?
-No--
-You couldn't. You've never been out there, you said.
-No, I haven't. I guess I thought the name was familiar. By the way, you discussed with Senator Paine where the camp was to be situated and everything?
-Well--no. I didn't. Why?
-Nothing. I just wondered. No *reason* to take it up with him. "--about a quarter of a mile on either side of Willet Creek--"
-What do they--? Who are all those--?
-One of the plagues on members of Congress--office-seekers, cranks, people with pet bills. Get my son into West Point--or *outta* West Point. I've got a scheme to put people to work. How do I get rid of cockroaches? Some woman's composed a hymn to replace the Star Spangled Banner. Want to hear it?
-No--not today! Boy, I feel like a house afire! Saunders--how did I do?
-Great.
-I--I don't know how I got it out. My heart was right up here all the time-- I wonder what Senator Paine thought of it?
-Must have been tickled pink.
-Gee--I hope so. What's all this?
-Contributions from boys who read about your camp.
-Already? All these letters?
-Oh, those are only local. Wait'll they start pouring in from all over the country.
-Do you mean all--look--look we'd better open them up--see what they say here--look at the money--what does it say--"Dear Senator Smith, I would like to come to your boy's camp and I shine shoes at the station and here's nine cents." Oh, isn't that wonderful. Look and he signs it. "Yours truly, Stinky Moore." Isn't that marvelous? Say--have I got some paper here?
-Second drawer.
-Good! I'm going to be pretty busy tonight--
-Not another bill?
-No! Letters. I've got to write to the Rangers and Ma--and--I'm bustin' with news! Why, I've introduced a bill! Me--Jeff Smith. I got up and talked in the Senate!
-Do you want to dictate them?
-The letters? Gosh--no. I couldn't talk letters. I've gotta scratch 'em out. And say--I'm going to tell Ma all about you. If I tell it right-- the first thing you know you're going to get the best jar of preserves you ever tasted.
-Thanks a lot.
-I--I--gee whiz--I didn't thank you!
-Don't mention it--
-Yes--right here. Just a second-- Miss Paine.
-*Who*! Miss--! Is that--? Why didn't you--? Holy smoke; H-hello... Yes, Miss Paine... How-- how are you, Miss Paine...? What?... Escort *you* Gee--I mean--*sure*-- *yes*! I'd be--. Reception for a *princess*! Gosh!... Thanks, Miss Paine. Yes. I--I'll be there! Goodbye, Miss Paine. Did you hear that?--Escort Susan Paine--reception for a princess! Imagine her calling me--asking *me*-- !
-Get your hat, Senator. We've got a lot to do between now and tomorrow--
-I know. Don't tell me. It was a wonderful party. Your suit went over big. And she looked beautiful, and she gave her hand when you left her-- and said--"Thank you, Mr. Smith." Oh, but it was the way she *said* it. You like to fell through the floor--Horseradish!
-Saunders--!
-And you're writing Ma all about it. And your pigeons will carry the message of love. And the first thing you know--Susan Paine'll get the best jar of preserves she ever tasted!
-Hello.
-Well gee--how--how've you been, Saunders? I--I haven't seen you in-- . I suppose--now that you're married--
-No. That night--I--well, *you* know-- I was pretty--. No--Diz is a--a sort of brother, that's all--
-What are you going to do?
-It might save some of the pieces, Jeff. It would leave a doubt about the whole thing--about you. Might blow over, this way.
-Yeah. I see. Well--that's about the only thing to do. Don't you think?
-Well, I guess it's a chance.
-Yeah. I guess--sometimes--Senator Paine must be right. Sometimes you-- you got to compromise a little-- And if you say so too, Saunders--if *you* think that's the thing to do--
-I *don't* think that's the thing to do! No! I think what you ought to do is--*fight*!
-Wait--
-What you *have* to do is fight!
-But--I've done everything I--
-I don't care *what* you've done! Don't quit. Don't grab a measly chance like this to save a few pieces--other men could--but not you. As long as you lived, you'd remember you ran out and threw this country of yours to the jackals--!
-Oh--Saunders--
-Jeff--listen--remember the day you got here?--what you said about Mr. Lincoln?--that he was sitting up there--watching--waiting for someone to come along? Well--that was *you*. Someone with a little plain, decent, uncompromising *rightness*--to root out the Taylors--yeah, and really light up that dome for once. This country could use some of that--so could the whole drunken, cockeyed world right now--a *lot* of it! And when
-Saunders--if there was *any* way--
-Yay!
-Hurray!
-Where do we go from here?
-Jeff--wait--they want you to speak!
-Tell us about yourself, Senator! Hear you got a Boy's Club back home! Any ideas? Going to make things hum in the Senate, huh?
-Ah! That's more like it! What?
-Well--for a couple of years now--I-- I've thought it would be a wonderful thing to have a National Boys' Camp out in our State--
-A camp! Well!
-*Gentlemen*! Gentlemen are supposed to believe in something decent. Instead of twisting facts and making a joke of everything--why don't you tell the people the *truth* for a change?
-The truth! Well, the man wants the truth! "What *is* truth?" asked so-and-so, and turned away!
-Whoa! Hold it! Pipe down! Come on, now--that's enough of that.
-Just for the fun of it.--You see the one that makes it back home in the fastest time, I am going to enter in the nationals.
-Sure.
-How--how do you do, Miss Paine? I--I apologize for looking like this-- I--I have to be going now--
-How are the pigeons?
-Fine--they're fine. Oh, Miss Paine, I--I want to apologize-- what the papers said I said about you--that wasn't true. I--I would never say a thing like that.
-Did you hear, Father? He didn't mean it when he said I was beautiful.
-Oh--you are!
-Then you *did* say it.
-Well, goodbye, sir--and thank you again. Well--it--it was nice seeing you, Miss Paine--
-I--I'm awfully glad to be--that is, it was nice of you to-- Uh--how's your father?
-Splendid.
-Uh--that's good. And--uh--you?
-I'm splendid, too.
-That's--that's splendid.
-And how's your bill, Senator?
-Oh, the bill. Oh--splendid--I mean-- I--I just can't seem to talk in this suit. I'll tell you a secret. It's brand new.
-Well! You don't say!
-It's just as well to tell you--because if we're going to get off on the right foot--I mean--in case I act sort of strange--it's the suit.
-Well--I--
-Funnier things have happened. Ma says when Pa was courting her, he acted strange for months. Didn't make sense--or anything. And one day, on a hunch, Ma said: "Clayton, so help me, you talk like a man whose collar is too tight to bear." "Not the collar, Mary," he said, "my shoes." "Well, for land's sake," Ma said, "Take the pesky things off!" Which
-You're not going to take your *suit* off!
-I don't understand, sir! I don't know what the gentleman--
-"I do solemnly swear--that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States--against all enemies, foreign and domestic--that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same--that I take this obligation freely--without and mental reservation and purpose of evasion-- and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help
-"So help me God."
-The chair recognizes the rather strong- lunged junior Senator, Mr. Smith.
-The Senator understands he is limited to five minutes?
-However, Senator Smith is still a member of this Body and as such has equal claim on the attention of the Chair--
-You were about to recognize me, sir--
-Order, gentlemen!
-Uh--Mr. President--you and I are about to be alone in here, sir. I'm not complaining for social reasons, but it'd be a pity if the gentlemen missed any of this. Mr. President--I call the chair's attention to Rule Five of the Standing Rules of the Senate Section Three. "If it shall be found that a quorum is not present, a majority of the Senators
-"--We hold these truths to be self- evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights--" Well--looks like the night shift's comin' on.
-Well, now--I wouldn't know about that. Mr. President--what happens to me in the morning--I mean about my having this floor to go on babbling?
-Since the time of Adams--not Washington.
-How's that, buddy?
-I said--I mean--Washington didn't live to see it finished. Congress didn't move here from Philadelphia till eighteen hundred.
-Oh--you're *sure* of that now?
-Yes. Washington laid the cornerstone though--wearing an apron for the ceremony that was embroidered by Madame Lafayette--
-One moment, friends, let's give the Senator a break. Now, where'd you say you studied law?
-Well--I haven't needed much law so far--what I'd like to get first is a little common sense--
-Ax?
-A pet idea--you know--pension bill-- save the buffalo--you've got *one* notion you think would be good for this country, haven't you?
-Marvelous! And what would this camp set the Government back?
-Oh--nothing--nothing. My idea is-- for the Government to lend us the money--and the boys'll pay it back-- sending in a penny or a nickel--no more than a dime--no, gosh--the Government's got enough on its hands without--
-Yeah! How about it? You're a nature lover. Do you handle any of that sign language?
-Well! Hear anything? Any sign of him?
-How'd you like a punch in the nose?
-What! Who?
-That's what he's been doing since last heard from.
-Whaddaya mean! What did *I* have to do with it? I don't blame the guy. Wow! Twenty-four hours in this town and nothing but dog-fights! And things aren't bad enough--last night I have to get a run-around from some wise dame--
-My, my--you sho' are pahwerfully upset, Mister McGann--but you' awfully cute.
-I wouldn't wait if I were you.
-What do you mean? What's going on?
-The Head Man's writing a Bill.
-What does he want to--? What's *he* doing writing a Bill?
-You can't find it in racing forms, Chick.
-Here, Jeff, I'll advance it for you.-- Fine introduction to the nation's capital!
-H'ya, Carl--h'ya, Bill!
-Chick--
-Eleven B Street, Northeast. Take his bags and your own right over--and get yourself a room in the same place--
-Joe--drop everything and come with me!
-Joe! You *told* him to!
-Did I hear right? Did he say *Willet Creek*?
-Let's get away from here.
---amazing coincidence! Of all places in the world--to choose Willet Creek for his boys' camp!
-Joe--I'm getting leery of this guy. We keep calling him dumb--and he keeps winding up in our hair! I'm telling you--when he finds out there's a dam going up where he wants his camp, he's gonna start asking questions six ways from Sunday--
-Be quiet, Chick--I'm trying to think-- This Deficiency Bill is going to be read in the Senate tomorrow.
-Tomorrow! Joe--he'll hear the section on Willet Dam. He can't be there!
-I know that.
-Listen--tomorrow I take him to see monuments--if I have to hit him over the head with a couple!
-That won't work, Chick. This boy's honest, not stupid.
-Susan!
-My daughter isn't here to carry out assignments like that for *anybody*.
-Well, then--this is too much for *my* lame brain. I'm calling Jim Taylor.
-Jim's methods won't do in Washington.
---I've used every argument in the world to try to turn him off. He just keeps coming back to the dam-- and what he knows--
-Saunders! I'd like to tie her in a sack and drop her from the Brooklyn Bridge--
-Your Ranger's on the garbage pile, Happy! He's done for!
-Who? Who? Your boss! A nut, huh? A nut! Wow! There's a *story* in this guy--! I smelled it!
-Go away, Nosey.
-What do I *mean*, huh? Uh--*I'll* tell ya--World's Series--a pass! In a month it's worth fifteen bucks!
-Look, Nosey--your pals would like to get in on this, wouldn't they?
-Hey--I wanna *scoop*!
-Well, that's out. Either it's *lots* of reporters and *lots* of tickets or--. Now will you go and call 'em before I change my mind about the whole thing!
-You want to see me, Senator?
-Yes. Good morning, Saunders. Have you--uh--any idea how this happened?
-The ranger's notices? No idea at all.
-No?
-No--I'm sorry. I merely saw him home. I'm not supposed to tuck him in and give him his bottle. That's McGann's job.
-By the way, Mr. McGann just phoned-- in a high fever. Smith's gone again. Have you any idea where?
-Yes. He went to Mount Vernon to give himself a patriotic address.
-Well--that's very fine. Saunders, some person in your office says you've quit--
-That's right.
-Oh, now--that won't do--
-Look, Senator--I wasn't given a brain just to tell a Boy Ranger what time it is. What do you need me for? Get somebody else--get a registered nurse--
-You're the best nurse I can think of--
-Nice *compliment*!
-I meant it for one. I meant--Sam Foley couldn't get along without you-- and neither can I at the moment--
-No?
-You see--Governor Hopper made an appointment in this case that--well, Jeff isn't exactly fitted to the work, let's say. He's here to see monuments--and pass the time. That's important to--to my work--and everybody concerned. So, someone who can be trusted has to occupy him and keep him out of trouble--
-And I'm an old hand at following instructions--
-You're more than that. I've had example of the fact that wild horses couldn't pull confidential matter in these two offices out of you. That's why I tell you what I do--about Smith and this situation. So, you see--
-Yeah--I see I'm right where I've been for seven years--
-You deserve a lot better. And I'll tell you what we'll do. Stay and play nurse, as you say--and if certain things happen I'm taking everybody up with me, and you'll get one of the biggest jobs in Washington.
-Yeah? And what else?
-What do you mean?
-Well, when I first came to Washington, my eyes were big, blue question marks-- now they're big, green dollar marks--
-What do you want, Senator?
-Saunders--it's going to go pretty bad for Jeff tomorrow. There's only one thing that can be done for him now-- I--I've written his resignation. He resigns under protest--denying all charges. No one will ever be sure if he was guilty or not. It leaves him with at least a shred of honor. The other way--branded openly in the Senate--expelled--he'll never live it down. Rather
-What are you driving at? You want *me* to get him to sign that?
-Yes--
-Why don't you do it yourself?
-He's lost complete faith in me--
-Well--me, too!
-But--you love him, don't you, Saunders?
-What are you talking about? What difference--?
-Do you?
-All right--*yes*! And what does that make me to him? *Nothing*! I've got to go about my own business--and forget it!
-I thought I could, too. *My* business--this fine future! I have no future I *care* about, if this boy is broken! I--I can't sleep. The only important thing in my life now is to save what I can for him. I want him to get a start again--I'll see that he's taken care of as long as he lives--! Saunders--whether you ever mean anything
-*Me! Me*! I *still* don't see why I should--! If you love him so much, why don't you go to him yourself and-- ? Or better still--get up in that Senate and *fight* for him!
-It's too late now--it's *impossible*!
-Every word that boy said is the truth! I'm not fit for office! I'm not fit for any place of honor or trust in this land! Expel me--!
-That Happy Hopper is tougher to handle than a prima-donna.
---in other words, Jim--with this Willet Creek Dam on the fire--the man who goes to the Senate now in Sam Foley's place can't ask any questions or talk out of turn. We must be absolutely sure of him.
-That's why I say Miller--Horace Miller. He jumped through hoops for the machine before we moved him up to the bench. He'll take orders.
-Jim--suppose we didn't try to go through with this Willet Creek Dam-- suppose we postpone it until the next session of Congress--or drop it altogether--
-That'd be a crime--after all this work--getting it buried in this Deficiency Bill as nice as you please-- approved--all ready to roll--
-How much does the Willet Dam mean to you, Jim?
-Joe--I've got a lot of people to take care of in this State.
-I know, but is it worth the risk of a scandal now that a new man is going to the Senate?
-Joe, that's coming a long way in twenty years since I met you practising law down there in Main Street.
-Jim--if what you say about the future is remotely possible--why not do as I say--drop things like this dam?
-We can't drop it now, Joe. We bought the land around this Dam and we're holding it in dummy names. If we drop it or delay it--we are going to bring about investigations, and investigations will show that we own that land and are trying to sell it to the State under phoney names. No, Joe, in my judgment the only thing to do
-Well, then appoint Miller--if you're sure he'll take orders.
-Wait a minute, boys. Happy may have hit on something tremendous here. Rather than let Miller or anyone else in at this stage, we simply put blinders on this simple son of nature-- and turn him loose on monuments. He's completely out of the way in Washington, and as Happy says, you make political capital out of it at home.
-Joe--do you mean to say--do you think you can actually *handle* this--this whatever-you-call-it in Washington?
-A young patriot?--Who recites Jefferson and Lincoln?--turned loose in our nation's capital? I think I can.
-That's him. Let him in.
-Wait a minute--Jim--you didn't ask *Smith* over here!
-What do you think?
-Jim, you can't come here and pull that steamroller stuff. Your methods won't do here. This boy is a Senator, however it happened, he's a Senator. This is Washington.
-Steamroller stuff, Joe? My methods don't go in Washington? They've done pretty well by now, haven't they?
-Oh, Jim, that's beside the point. This boy's different. He's honest and beside he thinks the world of me. We can't do this to him.
-Well, what do you want me to do? Stand around like you chump and let that drooling infant wrap that Willet Creek Dam appropriation around my neck. Either he falls in line with us and behaves himself or I'll break him so wide open they'll never be able to find the pieces.
-Jim, I won't stand for it.
-You won't stand for it?
-I don't want any part of crucifying this boy.
-Oh, I see. Out steamroller methods are getting too hard to your sensitive soul, is that it, Joe? The Silver Knight is getting to big for us. My methods have been all right for the past twenty years, Joe, since I picked you out of a fly-specked hole in the wall and blew you up to look like a Senator, and now you can't
-Jim, you don't have to--
-Oh, it's all right--it's all right. It seems a shame, though, to part company like this after all these years, especially now with a national convention coming up. Joe, I've put everything I have behind you. And so did all of our friends, but I guess we'll survive. We'll just have to find somebody else that's got a little more sense, that's all. In
-Jim, it's just that I like the kid-- I don't want to see you get too rough on him.
-Jeff--this is Mr. Taylor.
-Glad to know you, Senator. Meet the boys--
-Jim!
-Just a minute, Joe!
-You can't say *that* to--
-It's in your lap, Joe. Keep an eye on him. If he gets to his feet and says anything--
-It's crucifying him--!
-Anything *better* to offer?
-Maybe he won't get up.
-Hey--Joe! Where you going? We've got to celebrate tonight!
-Jim--the boy's talking to that State-- the story is out--!
-Sure! The fight's in the open now-- to a finish--!
-And if he can raise public opinion against us--if any *part* of this sticks--
-He won't get started! I'll *make* public opinion out there in five hours. I've done it all my life! I'll blacken this punk until-- Joe--your job is back in the Senate-- keep those men fighting him *there*.
-I hit him from the floor with everything I knew!
-Here, here, Susan--this is Jeff Smith-- our new Senator.
-How nice.
-All right, we'll take Jeff with us--
-His first 'whiff'!
-Such pretty knees for a big boy!
-Do I actually *see* this--?
-Father--oh.
-Jefferson dropped in for a minute, Susan.
-Well, at the expense of some of the furniture, Susan--you've made another conquest.
-What! Not Ol' Honest Abe!
-Mr. President...
-Senator Paine.
-Mr. President! Will the Senator yield?
-Will the Senator yield?
-Senator Paine will state it!
-I accuse this man--by his tone--by his careful denials--he is deliberately trying to plant damaging impressions of my conduct--! *I'll* tell you why we were in tht room. Because Mr. Taylor, a respected citizen of our State, had brought with him the evidence against this man, later presented from this floor, and *we were urging him to resign*-- !
-Order!
-Order!
-Mr. President, will the Senator yield for a question?
-Is there objection? You may proceed, Senator.
-No. Don't ever want to go out without telling us.
-Yeah, Mr. Cobb said stick to your tail no matter what.
-That's going to be fun.
-Put that away, slug! At your service!
-I got a trunk in that room. Will you get it out for me?
-Good morning.
-I say, my friend, do you know a fellow by the name of Longfellow Deeds?
-Deeds?
-Yes.
-Yes, sir. Yes, indeedy. Everyone knows Deeds.
-We'd like to get in touch with him. It's very important.
-Who's that?
-Deeds! Who do you think I'm talking about?
-Since he was born.
-Yes. Elsie Taggart was the midwife.
-Most every day.
-They think he's pixilated.
-Pixilated.
-He walks in the rain, without his hat, and talks to himself.
-Sometimes he whistles.
-For no reason, I guess. He always does it. We always run into the house when we see him coming.
-Never can tell what he's going to do.
-He sure is pixilated.
-Why, you own it, Longfellow.
-Why, you've always been pixilated, Longfellow.
-Why, everybody in Mandrake Falls in pixilated - except us.
-Oh, yes.
-He's still pixilated.
-Are you married?
-Yes, sir.
-Any children?
-No, no children.
-All right, Mr. Dodsworth. I think you'll qualify. Take this to that desk over there for further instructions.
-Thank you very much.
-No. Are you?
-No.
-You don't go out with girls very much, do you?
-I haven't.
-I don't mind though. I had a lot of fun doing it.
-It's obviously a frameup! They're trying to railroad this man for the money they can get out of him!
-Thank you, Your Honor. Are you employed by the Morning Mail?
-You are under oath, Miss Bennett. I ask you again - are you employed by the Morning Mail?
-Were you given an assignment to follow the activities of Longfellow Deeds?
-Yes.
-Did you subsequently write a series of articles about him?
-Yes!
-Are these the articles?
-Yes!
-Were you present when all these things took place?
-Yes!
-Are they true!
-NO!!
-But they did take place?
-They're colored! Just to make him look silly!
-And you saw them happen?
-Yes, but I—
-That's all, Miss Bennett.
-It isn't all! I'd like to explain—
-Oh, thank you!
-Your Honor, this is absurd. The woman's obviously in love with him.
-What's that got to do with it?
-Well, you are in love with him, aren't you?
-What's that got to do with it?
-You are , aren't you?
-You fainted.
-No, thank you. I'll be all right.
-Look, this is my house. I'd like to—
-Oh, no, really - I'll be all right.
-What happened?
-Feel better now?
-Mmm, it tastes so good. Mr. Deeds, I don't know how I can ever thank you.
-Tell me more about yourself.
-Oh, that was so lovely. Thank you.
-You were a lady in distress, weren't you?
-What?
-You've been having quite an exciting time here, haven't you? All those meetings and business deals and society people - haven't you been having fun?
-Look - there's Brookfield, the poet.
-There's just one thing more. If it weren't for Miss Dawson being here with me, I'd probably bump your heads together.
-It's awfully nice of you to show me around like this.
-I enjoy it.
-The Aquarium was swell. If I lived in New York, I'd go there every day. I'll bet you do.
-Sure. I met you.
-Oh. What's happening about the opera?
-I told 'em I'd play along with them if they lowered their prices - and cut down expenses - and broadcast.
-What did they say?
-Gosh, you look pretty tonight.
-What did they say?
-Huh? Oh. They said I was crazy. Said I wanted to run it like a grocery store.
-What are they going to do?
-Have you seen the papers?
-Uh-huh.
-Would you like to walk the rest of the way? It's so nice out.
-Yes.
-There you are. Grant's Tomb. I hope you're not disappointed.
-It's wonderful.
-To most people, it's an awful letdown.
-Huh?
-I say, to most people it's a washout.
-That depends on what they see.
-Now, what do you see?
-There's Times Square.
-You can almost spit on it, can't you?
-You're worried about those articles they're writing about you, aren't you?
-Oh, they just do it to sell the newspapers, you know.
-Here's a nice place.
-You know, you said something to me when you first met me that I've thought about a great deal.
-What's that?
-You said I was a lady in distress.
-Oh, that—
-What did you mean by that?
-Oh, I don't know.
-You must have met a lot of swell society girls since you've been here. Don't you like them?
-I'd rather have Mandrake Falls.
-I'm from a small town too, you know.
-Really?
-Probably as small as Mandrake Falls.
-I've often thought about going back.
-You have?
-Oh, yes. I used to have a lot of fun there when I was a little girl. I used to love to go fishing with my father. That's funny. He was a lot like you, my father was. Talked like you, too. Sometimes he'd let me hold the line while he smoked - and we'd just sit there for hours. And after awhile, for
-He played in the town band, too.
-He did? I play the tuba—
-Yeah, I know.
-What did he play?
-The drums. He taught me to play some.
-He did?
-Yes. I can do "Swanee River." Would you like to hear me?
-Oh, I suppose you could do better.
-Sure. I can sing "Humoresque."
-"Humoresque"? I'll bet you don't even know how it goes.
-Sure. Look! You sing it over again, and I'll do "Humoresque" with you.
-Couldn't sleep. Kinda wanted to talk to you. Do you mind?
-I wanted to thank you again for going out with me. Huh? Well, I don't know what I'd do without you. You've made up for all the fakes that I've met.
-Well, that's very nice. Thank you.
-You know what I've been doing since I got home? Been working on a poem. It's about you. Sometimes it's kinda hard for me to say things - so I write 'em.
-I didn't think you could come with the party and everything.
-Oh, I wouldn't let them stop me from seeing you. So I threw them out!
-Yes, if it isn't too late.
-Ready?
-Gosh, she looks better every time I see her.
-The reason why I wanted to take a walk, Mary, is 'cause I wanted to talk to you.
-Let's just walk, okay?
-Mary, I'm going home.
-Are you? When?
-In a day or so, I think.
-Do you mind if I talk to you, Mary? You don't have to pay any attention to me.
-No, I don't mind.
-All my life, I've wanted somebody to talk to. Back in Mandrake Falls, I always used to talk to a girl.
-A girl?
-Well, here we are again.
-Yes, here we are again. Good night.
-Would you like to read it? It's to you.
-Hello, Mary?
-What's the matter, hon?
-What's up, Babe? Something's eating you.
-No. It's nothing.
-My unfailing instinct tells me something's gone wrong with the stew.
-You haven't gotten very far, have you? That's where you were an hour ago. Come on, let's knock off and go down to Joe's. The gang's waiting for us.
-Good night.
-Mabel, that guy's either the dumbest, the stupidest, the most imbecilic idiot in the world - or he's the grandest thing alive. I can't make him out.
-Uh-huh.
-I'm crucifying him.
-People have been crucified before.
-Why? Why do we have to do it?
-You started out to be a successful newspaper woman, didn't you?
-Yeah, then what?
-Search me. Ask the Gypsies.
-Here's a guy that's wholesome and fresh. To us he looks like a freak. You know what he told me tonight? He said when he gets married he wants to carry his bride over the threshold in his arms.
-The guy's balmy.
-Is he? Yeah, I thought so, too. I tried to laugh, but I couldn't. It stuck in my throat.
-Aw, cut it out, will you? You'll get me thinking about Charlie again.
-He's got goodness, Mabel. Do you know what that is?
-Huh?
-You're a fool, Babe.
-I just couldn't stand seeing him again.
-What'll I tell him if he calls up?
-Tell him I had to leave suddenly. I got a job in China - some place.
-You're acting like a school girl.
-Just a minute. No, you don't.
-Why there she is! Of course she's home. Stupid of me . . .
-Look, I can do it!
-What's gotten into you, Babe? I remember the time when you'd blast this town wide open before you'd let Cobb get away with a thing like this.
-Oh, he's not getting away with anything.
-Listen, Babe - get me some stuff on this guy, and you can have—
-Can I have a month's vacation?
-With pay!
-With pay!
-Uh-huh.
-Now you're talking, Babe. I'll keep the whole front page open. What are you going to do?
-Cinderella Man! That's sensational, Babe! Sensational!
-It took some high-powered acting, believe me.
-Did it?
-I was the world's sweetest ingenue.
-He's the original. There are no carbon copies of that one.
-Cinderella Man! Babe, you stuck a tag on that hick that'll stick to him the rest of his life. Can you imagine Cobb's face when he reads this?
-How'd you get the picture?
-Had the boys follow us.
-Marvelous! "At two o'clock this morning, Mr. Deeds tied up traffic while he fed a bagful of doughnuts to a horse. When asked why he was doing it, he replied: 'I just wanted to see how many doughnuts this horse would eat before he'd ask for a cup of coffee.'" Beautiful! What happened after that?
-I don't know. I had to duck to get the story out. He was so far along he never even missed me.
-When're you going to see him again?
-You're a genius, Babe - a genius!
-I even moved into Mabel Dawson's apartment - in case old snoopy Cobb might start looking around.
-Good! Good! Stay there. Don't show your face down here. I'll tell everybody you're on your vacation. They'll never know where the stories are coming from. Stick close to him, Babe - you can get an exclusive story out of him every day for a month. We'll have the other papers crazy. Babe, I could kiss you!
-Oh, no. No. Our deal was for a month's vacation - with pay.
-Sure.
-With pay! She is out the door.
-What's bothering you, huh?
-Last night he proposed to me.
-Proposed to you! You mean he asked you to marry him?
-Yes.
-Why, Babe - that's terrific! "Cinderella Man Woos Mystery Girl! Who is the Mysterious Girl That—"
-Print one line of that, and I'll blow your place up!
-Sorry, Babe. Sorry. It would have made a swell story. I just got carried away. That's too bad. So he proposed to you, huh? What a twist! You set out to nail him - and he—
-Yeah. Funny twist, isn't it?
-What're you going to do?
-I'm going to tell him the truth.
-Tell him you're Babe Bennett? Tell him you've been making a stooge out of him?
-I'm having lunch with him today. He expects an answer. It's going to be pretty.
-He'll probably kick me right down the stairs. I only hope he does.
-I'll put you on another job. You need never see him again, eh?
-That's the rub.
-Oh, as bad as that, huh?
-This is for you , Mac. The names of all the headwaiters in town. You can always buy a bit of choice scandal from them at reasonable prices.
-It's for you. In a couple weeks you'll get the itch so bad, you'll be working for nothing.
-I suppose it's going to be the same old thing.
-I tell you that dame's nuts.
-Come on, come on!
-It don't look as though we're gonna get any pictures tonight.
-I wonder if they'd want to make it a quartet.
-Yeah. Mac threw Cobb out again.
-Boy, was he burning.
-Ow! My foot's asleep!
-We've got nothing to worry about. He's as naive as a child.
-John—
-I know, Budington. We can't afford to have the books investigated right now. You must have said that a thousand times already.
-But what if they fall into somebody else's hands, why - uh—
-Well, it hasn't happened yet - has it?
-But a half million dollars! My goodness, where are we going to get—
-don't want to be critical, John, but here it is—
-Yes, I know. A week's gone by and we haven't got the Power of Attorney yet!
-Yes, but you said—
-The gentlemen from the opera are still waiting in the board room, sir. They're getting a trifle impatient, sir.
-Will you show Mr. Hallor to the front door?
-Cobb's right. I mustn't talk to anybody.
-Miss Dawson on the phone, sir.
-Who? Miss Dawson?
-Yes, sir.
-You try it.
-How's it going? Okay?
-Yes, quite all right. Thank you, sir.
-Gold, eh?
-Yes, sir.
-Fourteen carat?
-Yes, sir.
-Is that the best you've got?
-Oh, yes sir.
-Those flowers are too high. Won't be able to see her. Get a smaller bowl, will you?
-Stuff, sir?
-That goo. That stuff that tastes like soap.
-Oh, yes, sir. Here it is, sir. The pate de fois gras, sir.
-Yeah, that's fine. Have a lot of it because she likes it.
-Sit over there, will you?
-Me sir?
-How is this, sir?
-Perfect! Perfect!
-I wish you luck, sir.
-You can't come up here!
-Let me go! I wanna see him!
-He's not home, I tell you!
-I wanna see that guy!
-We'll send for the police!
-Thank heaven.
-Better wire him right away, John.
-Come on, John. What happened?
-Relatives of old man Semple.
-They keep insisting they should have some nuisance value.
-Nuisance value?
-They say if it hadn't been for Deeds, they'd have gotten all the money.
-Miss Bennett please!
-The Falkner sisters are rather timid, Your Honor, and wish to be together. If the court pleases, I will only have one of them testify.
-Must we have the echo?
-He's what?
-Your Honor, I object.
-It's a lie!
-Mr. Cedar!
-You will please permit Mr. Deeds to finish.
-But your honor—
-Newspaperman?
-Wants to know who the heir is.
-Hang up.
-Sorry, Mac, I can't. Yeah, Mac. Sure, but I ain't the attorney—
-Mr. Cedar is, and I haven't seen him in two days. Listen, Cedar, we've got to do something about the newspapers.
-I'm not interested in the newspapers.
-But it's a great story. Somewhere in this country a guy is walking into twenty million bucks.
-Yes, I know. My first concern is to locate the lucky man. When I do, it's your job to keep the newspapers away from him.
-That's pretty.
-I guess we'd better try somebody else.
-Yeah. A glorified doormat.
-I can understand that. We'll take a walk around town, meet you at the train at four o'clock. Congratulations, Mr. Deeds. You're one of the richest men in the country. We'll see you later. Goodbye and thank you.
-I can't find him.
-You can't?
-Look!
-What?
-Well, your uncle was Chairman of the Board of Directors. They probably expect you to carry on.
-Yes?
-Make three reservations on the first train out to Mandrake Falls, Vermont.
-Where?
-Charlie, we're off! Papers all set?
-All set.
-Okay, then. Go to it. And, Charlie—
-Yeah?
-Find out who wrote those newspaper articles and subpoena them right away.
-Mr. Longfellow Deeds?
-Yes.
-How do you do.
-How do you do.
-I'd like to ask you a few questions.
-Mr. Deeds, are you the son of Dr. Joseph and Mary Deeds?
-Yes.
-Are your parents living?
-Why, no.
-Mr. Deeds, does the name of Martin W. Semple mean anything to you?
-Not much. He's an uncle of mine, I think. I never saw him, but my mother's name was Semple, you know.
-Well, he passed on. He was killed in a motor accident in Italy.
-Perhaps you didn't hear what I said, Mr. Deeds! The whole Semple fortune goes to you! $20,000,000!
-Mr. Cobb here is an ex-newspaperman associated with your uncle for many years - as a sort of buffer.
-Are you a married man, Mr. Deeds?
-Saving a lady in distress, eh? Well, I suppose we all have dreams like that when we are young. Incidentally, we'd better get started. You'll have to pack.
-What for?
-You're going to New York with us.
-Will you have a cigar?
-I wouldn't worry if I were you. Of course, a large fortune like this entails a great responsibility - but you'll have a good deal of help. So don't worry. Leave everything to me.
-Oh, I wasn't worried about that.
-No?
-It's merely a suggestion. I don't wish to press the point, Mr. Deeds, but if you'll give me your Power of Attorney we'll take care of everything. It'll save you a lot of petty annoyances. Every shark in town will be trying to sell you something.
-Oh, yes, there've been a lot of them around here already. Strangest kind of people. Salesmen - politicians - moochers - all want something. I haven't had a minute to myself. Haven't seen Grant's Tomb yet.
-Well, you see, your uncle didn't bother with that sort of thing. He left everything to us. He traveled most of the time, and enjoyed himself. You should do the same thing, Mr. Deeds.
-Besides wanting to be my lawyer, you also want to handle my investments too?
-Yes. That is to say—
-Well, outside of your regular fee, how much extra will it cost?
-Oh - nothing. No extra charge.
-That involves a lot of extra work, doesn't it?
-Yes, but that's an added service a firm like Cedar, Cedar, Cedar and Budington usually donates.
-I think you ought to give this matter some thought, Mr. Deeds.
-Huh?
-I mean, about the Power of Attorney.
-Why not? Who is he?
-A lawyer representing some woman with a claim against the estate. Tell him to see me at my office.
-He's capable of causing you a lot of trouble, Mr. Deeds.
-I can't hold out any longer either, Mr. Deeds. Being an attorney for you will be a very simple affair.
-You're not my attorney yet, Mr. Cedar. Not till I find out what's on your mind. Suppose you get the books straightened out quick so I can have a look at them.
-Oh, will you come in please, gentlemen?
-Is Mr. Deeds in?
-Come in, please. Come in. Can I get you a cup of tea?
-No, thanks.
-Sit down. Sure I couldn't get you a glass of lemonade or something?
-That's very kind of you. Are you related to him?
-No, I'm his housekeeper.
-Well, we'd like to find out something about him. What does he do for a living?
-Oh, it'll do in a pinch.
-Cedar, Cedar, Cedar and Budington. Funny, I can't think of a rhyme for Budington.
-Why should you?
-Well, whenever I run across a funny name, I always like to poke around for a rhyme. Don't you?
-Nah.
-I've got one for Cobb—
-"There once was a man named Cobb, Who kept Semple away from the mob. Came the turn of the tide And Semple - he died - And now poor Cobb's out of a job!"
-Sounds like a two weeks' notice to me.
-Huh?
-I've gotten the 'sackaroo' in many ways - but never in rhyme.
-Oh, I don't mean that. I'm sure I'm going to need your help.
-This afternoon - at four o'clock.
-Have a drink?
-Thanks Oh, did you send that telegram to Jim Mason?
-Jim Mason? Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I didn't send it. I've got it written out, though. Here it is. "Arthur's been with the Tallow Works too long. STOP. Don't think we should fire him. Longfellow."
-Fine. Send it right away. I don't want him to fire Arthur.
-Oh, sure. Sure. We don't want to fire Arthur.
-You'd better get right down there. That opera mob is about to break into the Mad Song from "Lucia."[2]
-Gee, I'm busy. Did the opera people always come here for their meetings?
-Uh-huh.
-That's funny. Why is that?
-I can't hold out on you any longer. Lamb bites wolf. Beautiful.
-Well, how about tonight? What would you like in the way of entertainment?
-Entertainment?
-Your uncle had a weakness for dark ones, tall and stately. How would you like yours? Dark or fair, tall or short, fat or thin, tough or tender?
-What're you talking about?
-Women! Ever heard of 'em?
-Oh.
-Name your poison and I'll supply it.
-Some other time, Cobb. Some other time.
-Did you see all this stuff in the papers?
-Arthur wants to quit!
-Arthur! Who's Arthur?
-He's the shipping clerk at the Tallow Works. Wants a $2 raise - or he'll quit.
-And what'd you do to those bodyguards? They quit this morning. Said you locked them up.
-Oh, they insisted on following me.
-What do you think bodyguards are for?
-What do they mean by this - "Cinderella Man!"
-I don't remember. "Cinderella Man!" What do they mean by that?
-They'd call you anything if you gave them half a chance. They've got you down as a sap.
-I think I'll go down and punch this editor on the nose.
-No, you don't! Get this clear: Socking people is no solution for anything.
-Sometimes it's the only solution.
-Not editors. Take my word for it. Not editors!
-If they're going to poke fun at me, I'm going to—
-Listen. Listen, Longfellow. You've got brains, kid. You'll get along swell if you'll only curb your homicidal instincts - and keep your trap shut. Don't talk to anybody! These newshounds are out gunning for you.
-But what about this "Cinderella Man"?
-That's my job. I'll take care of that. I'll keep that stuff out of the papers - if you'll help me. But I can't do anything if you go around talking to people. Will you promise me to be careful from now on?
-Yes, I guess I'll have to.
-Just as I suspected, wise guy! I don't mind you making a sap out of yourself - but you made one out of me, too.
-Will you tell the gentleman I'm not in?
-She's the star reporter on The Mail. Every time you opened your kisser, you gave her another story. She's the dame who slapped that monicker on you - "Cinderella Man." You've been making love to a double dose of cyanide!
-You shouldn't be running away like this. What's going to happen to the Estate?
-What about your knocking off for lunch?
-Not hungry. I want to get through this work in a hurry, and then I want to go home. What price did you get on those trucks?
-Come on, come on. What are you trying to do, kid? Keel over? You haven't been out of this house in two weeks.
-Cobb! Get lunch for the rest of them.
-What? There must be 2000 of them out there.
-Well, that doesn't make 'em any less hungry.
-I'm Chairman?
-Oh Yes, of course - you've just been elected.
-Wait a minute. What does the Chairman do?
-Why, the Chairman presides at the meetings.
-You see, Mr. Deeds, the opera is not conducted for profit.
-It isn't? What is it conducted for?
-Why, it's an artistic institution—
-We provide opera.
-That's impossible. The opera has never paid.
-The wrong kind! There isn't any wrong or right kind. Opera is opera!
-I guess it is. But I personally wouldn't care to be head of a business that kept losing money. That wouldn't be common sense. Incidentally, where is the $180,000 coming from?
-Well, we were rather expecting it to come from you.
-Me?!
-Naturally.
-Now, where were we?
-You see, Mr. Deeds, the opera is not conducted like any ordinary business.
-Why not?
-Because it just isn't a business, that's all!
-You remember, Dr. Fosdick, in my last book there are some very fine examples.
-Uh-huh.
-Especially, the one of the young nobleman, you remember?
-Oh, yes. Yes, of course Dr. Von Holler. Very interesting.
-It reminds me very much of this one. Nicht wahr?
-Ja.
-Let him alone.
-Yeah - that's all that's worrying you. What do I want? A chance to feed a wife and kids! I'm a farmer. A job! That's what I want!
-A farmer, eh! You're a moocher, that's what you are! I wouldn't believe you or anybody else on a stack of bibles! You're a moocher like all the rest of them around here, so get out of here!
-Here's the order for the plows. We got a good price on them.
-That's fine. Thanks. I'll look 'em over later.
-—my wife wanted me to tell you she— —she prays for you every night.
-Mrs. Semple?
-I leave it to you, Mr. Deeds. Can you conceive of any court not being in sympathy with any woman who gave up the best years of her life for an old man like your uncle?
-What kind of wife did you say she was?
-Common-law wife. On top of that, there's a child.
-A child? My uncle's?
-Yes, sir.
-That's awful. The poor woman should be taken care of immediately.
-I'm glad to see you're willing to be reasonable, Mr. Deeds.
-Well, what about it, Mr. Deeds?
-Sorry to keep you waiting so long. Those opera people are funny. They wanted me to put up $180,000.
-What about it, Mr. Deeds?
-Why, I turned them down, naturally.
-No, I mean - about my client.
-Of course, we don't want to appear greedy, Mr. Deeds.
-Huh?
-I say we don't want to appear greedy.
-Mrs. Semple is entitled by law to one-third of the estate.
-Mrs. Semple is entitled to one- third of the estate.
-One-third? That's about $7,000,000 isn't it?
-You're making a mistake, Mr. Deeds.
-Oh no, I'm not. I don't like your face. Besides, there's something fishy about a person who would settle for a million dollars when they can get seven million. I'm surprised that Mr. Cedar, who's supposed to be a smart man, couldn't see through that.
-There's one nice thing about being rich - you ring a bell and things happen. When the servant comes in, Mr. Hallor, I'm going to ask him to show you to the door. Many people don't know where it is.
-No - I don't want it, thank you.
-Well, I don't know. I—
-Yes. Have you any peculiar characteristics when you are creating?
-No.
-Look, he's temperamental.
-Your Honor—
-Yes?
-I'd like to get in my two cents' worth.
-Proceed.
-A what?
-Mr. Deeds, do you recall forcibly ejecting people from your home?
-Now about the Falkner sisters. That's kind of funny. I mean about Mr. Cedar going all the way to Mandrake Falls to bring them here. Do you mind if I talk to them?
-Mr. Deeds, you haven't yet touched upon a most important thing. This rather fantastic idea of yours to want to give away your entire fortune. It is, to say the least, most uncommon.
-Please, Mr. Cedar! Proceed.
-Anything else, Mr. Deeds?
-No. Yes. There's just one more thing I'd like to get off my chest before I finish.
-Proceed.
-Huh? On, no. Nobody important.
-Be sure and point 'em out to me, won't you?
-Uh-huh.
-Uh-huh.
-I write poetry.
-Brookfield just came in.
-Oh, the poet? Where?
-Say fellow, you neglected me - and I feel very put out. Look, sock it right there, will you? Lay one right on the button,[6] but sock it hard.
-That's all right. I got it off my chest.
-Oh, what a magnificent deflation of smugness. Pal, you've added ten years to my life! A poet with a straight left and a right hook - delicious! Delicious! You're my guest from now on - forever and a day - even unto eternity!
-Thanks, but Miss Dawson and I are going out to see the sights.
-Fine, fine. Swell, You just showed me a sight lovely to behold, and I'd like to reciprocate. Listen, you hop aboard my magic carpet— —thanks - and I'll show you sights that you've never seen before.
-Well, you'll not only see those, but before the evening's half through, you'll be leaning against the Leaning Tower of Pisa - you'll mount Mt. Everest. I'll show you the Pyramids and all the little Pyramiddes, leaping from sphinx to sphinx. Pal, how would you like to go on a real, old-fashioned binge?
-Binge?
-That ought to be fun.
-Who are they?
-New mouthpiece. Been waiting two weeks for this. Kids keep swiping them all the time. They use 'em for bean shooters. What can I do for you gentlemen?
-How about lunch? Are the gentlemen going to stay - or not?
-No, he's too fussy for that. That's what's the matter with him. There are lots of nice girls right here in Mandrake Falls who're dying to be married—
-Don't pay any attention to her.
-He's got a lot of foolish notions - about saving a lady in distress.
-Well, we could borrow a couple from Mrs. Simpson. You know, she went to Niagara Falls last year.
-Hear what he said? You know how much twenty million is?
-What is your name?
-Christian Svenson.
-Farmer?
-Yes, ma'am.
-Where is your farm?
-South Dakota north.
-South Dakota - north?
-South Dakota - but on the top.
-You're Mabel - her sister - aren't you?
-Huh? Oh, yes - yes, of course. Her sister. Yes, I've been her sister for a long time.
-Is she home?
-Yeah. What?
-You mean— —by the neck or something?
-Nice day out - er, nice night - wasn't it? - isn't it?
-Yes, lovely. We've had a lot of nice weather lately.
-It would be a nice night to go for a walk, don't you think?
-Goodnight. Don't worry. I won't keep her out late.
-Tails tonight, sir?
-What - tails? Why, that's a monkey suit![5] Do you want people to laugh at me? I never wore one of those things in my life.
-What do you think you're doing?
-Why, I'm assisting you, sir.
-Get up from there. I don't want anybody holding the ends of my pants. Get up from there!
-Yes, sir.
-No, sir.
-He talks about women as if they were cattle.
-Every man to his taste, sir.
-Tell me, Walter, are all those stories I hear about my uncle true?
-Well, sir, he sometimes had as many as twenty in the house at the same time.
-Twenty! What did he do with them?
-Mr. Deeds - Mr. Deeds, sir - you really must get up. It's late!
-You're Walter, aren't you?
-Yes, sir.
-Yes, sir.
-What's that?
-A Prairie Oyster, sir.[10]
-Prairie? Oysters?
-Oh. Oh! Has Miss Dawson called yet?
-Miss Dawson, sir? No, sir. No Miss Dawson has called, sir.
-She was a lady in distress. She wouldn't let me help her. Got a lot of pride. I like that.
-Oh, I do too, sir.
-I'd better call her up and apologize. I don't remember taking her home last night.
-What do you mean? I remember everything! Hand me my pants - I wrote her phone number on a piece of paper.
-You came home last night - without them.
-I did what!
-As a matter of fact, you came home without any clothes. You were in your - uh - shorts. Yes, sir.
-Oh, don't be silly, Walter. I couldn't walk around in the streets without any clothes. I'd be arrested.
-That's what the two policemen said, sir.
-What two policemen?
-Please!
-Yes, sir. I beg pardon, sir, but did you ever find what you were looking for, sir?
-Looking for?
-You kept searching me last night, sir. Going through my pockets. You said you were looking for a rhyme for Budington.
-Better bring me some coffee, Walter.
-Madame Pomponi is on the telephone, sir.
-Who?
-Madame Pomponi. She says everything is all set for the reception.
-What do you mean by coming in here when I'm playing?
-But she's on the telephone—
-Hey, did you hear that?
-Why, that's an echo, sir!
-You try it.
-Me, sir?
-Yes, sir. What is it, sir? Anything happened3
-Anything happened? I've got to get dressed! I can't meet her like this!
-But she isn't due for an hour, sir.
-An hour? What's an hour! You know how time flies, Walter. My tie? Get it.
-Pack my things, Walter. I'm going home.
-Shall I call the police, sir?
-What do they want from me? What have I done that's so wrong? They act as though they don't have their own peculiar things... They do! Believe me. Everybody's got something... Even you probably have things.
-Me more than most.
-Why are they ganging up against me?
-I'm not sure. But I think they're worried about you.
-It's the kids, you know, not Jeremy. He had nothing to do with this -- except pay, of course. He's always willing to pay. He's extremely generous. I'm so humiliated that my own children would threaten me.
-How did they threaten you?
-They said if I didn't get help, they wouldn't deal with me any more. What do you think about that?
-Mmmmfffstttubll abbittmm.
-I said... you must come out to the house for dinner on Thursday.
-Really? You think so?
--- The argument had nothing to do with it.
-I understand. I just want to know what the argument was about.
-I had ordered some books. "The 100 Greatest Books Ever Written."
-Uh-huh. What are they?
-Oh, all the great writers -- Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Moby Dick... those people. Each is bound in genuine premium leather with 22 carat gold accents. It's a magnificent set -- and only $33.50 per volume. Right away you get Great Expectations for just $6.99.
-One hundred books?
-It's irrelevant. It had nothing to do with what happened.
-We argued on Sunday. He went to work on Monday and stayed in the city during the week, like always. But on Thursday, when he normally comes home, he didn't. Didn't call either. Not till Saturday afternoon.
-You must have been concerned.
-It's happened before. I'm shocked by how little I'm feeling. I can't understand it. I'll probably have a complete depressoid collapse soon, won't I?
-Doubtful. What did he say?
-I know my time's up, but I've got to get this out while I've got hold of it --
-Take your time.
-You can go out there if you like...
-Dr. Mumford.
-Mr. Cook.
-I know I shoulda come to your office. I was gonna, actually, but then when you walked in here today...
-Uh-huh.
-It's my daughter Sofie... she's gotta problem.
-What's that?
-We're not sure. She's been to all kinds of doctors in the city and they've said different things. Some of 'em are callin' it -- -- Epstein-Barr virus, and the rest are callin' it... Chronic Fatigue Symptom...
-Syndrome... Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
-That's it -- syndrome. So you know all about it?
-No... a little. There's a lot of debate about it.
-Yeah, I got that. Some people think it's all in their heads. It's been so bad she's had to move back here to Mumford and live with us. And I'm not sure that's the best thing, either...
-Why's that?
-Oh... a lot of things. Several different factors. Will you see her, Doctor Mumford?
-I'm not sure she'll come. She's in a mood. Do you ever go to somebody's house?
-Hello, Mr. Cook. I was wondering if Sofie was around?
-Were you supposed to have a session?
-Her friend from the city came and took her out to dinner. First time in a long time she's been willing.
-Better make yourself comfortable. We got a three hour drive here.
-I'm fine.
-You're the shrink, aren't you?
-No, not really.
-But you do therapy?
-What an asshole!
-Ernest, what do you think?
-Thank you.
-What Ernest means, I think, is we're very interested in other methodology... different kinds of training. We're great believers in learning from each other. I've learned so much from Ern -- Dr. Delbanco...
-...And I from Phyllis.
-But they're certainly dead. And yes, personally, I find it a bit odd.
-You do seem much more disposed toward him than I understand, Ernest. Did I miss something?
-Phyllis, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout...
-Dr. Delbanco. It's nice to see you again.
-I don't think you know Dr. Sheeler. She's the other therapist here in town.
-What are you doing for lunch?
-I've run on. Forgive me. We're here to talk about you.
-My mentor was an amazing teacher named Benton Mandlebaum. Died quite tragically in the collapse of a gazebo.
-Interesting approach. What was his name?
-We're interested in any new therapies. How would you characterize your approach?
-...I won't go into that today. Though, if we should continue these sessions, as I certainly hope we will, there are some aspects of that I would like to look at. God knows, I've listened to enough people giving me the juicy -- ...At any rate, I just wanted to acknowledge the catalyzing effect your comment had on me. I just hope that it
-Well... you see, when I broke it off with Phyllis, she was naturally upset and she became more determined than ever to pursue certain -- how to put it -- doubts she's been harboring...
-What kind of doubts?
-I see.
-And please, for whatever small way I may have encouraged this, accept my apologies. There is good news, though.
-What's that?
-Phyllis has decided to leave town and pursue her practice in the city. Which leaves you the only psychologist in town.
-Dr. Sheeler is leaving Mumford? I'm sorry to hear that.
-I have eighteen more minutes!
-I don't want to hear any more today.
-Why not?
-Mr. Follett, do you trust me or don't you?
-Well, I don't know... I only been seeing you --
-Without trust, there's no point to any of this. You might as well not come.
-Now hold on, I didn't say I didn't want to come --
-Or maybe it wasn't an accident at all --
-Mr. Follett.
--- 'cause in that instant I saw the beginning of a vixen's smile and I knew --
-What?
-Stop now.
-Why? I'm paying for this.
-Not for this. Not me, you're not.
-You find it distasteful, don't you?
-It doesn't matter how I feel about it. It's how you feel about it that matters.
-I enjoy it. Does that make me some kind of pervert? Just because a man has a rich imaginative life --
-You didn't come to me because you have a rich imagination.
-No?
-You came because it's taking over. You're in its grip.
-Where's your wife, Henry?
-Go to hell.
-We got divorced. I had to get rid of her. She couldn't satisfy me.
-I was... never satisfied.
-What's that?
-What is it?
-It's a thought I had.
-Let me just say something here... I have no idea if this is going to help.
-What exactly is it supposed to do?
-You remember when I asked you about pornography --
--- I find it degrading. Maximum gynecology and minimum turn-on --
--- and you told me that. Still, there's some kind of imagery that's haunting you and, I think, getting in your way --
--- Which I don't necessarily agree.
-My guess is these images were burned into your brain when you were young. Maybe if we could nail down the exact fantasies that are haunting you -- maybe you could get past them... Anyway, I thought we could try an experiment.
-Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? I want to know what's in here.
-Uh, sorry, I'm going to have to... ...I really appreciate what you're trying to... uh, I can't thank you enough for...
-I feel like we're making real progress here.
-I didn't see you there. Can I help you?
-It's all right, it won't bite you. Under civil code 1294.67b you are entitled to be notified that your status and certification are being reviewed. This is the notice.
-Do you want to come in?
-No thanks. Plenty of time for that when we're a little further along.
-What brought this on?
-You must be Dr. Mumford of Mumford. Jeremy Brockett.
-Doc. Nice to meet you.
-I think you'll like this. Know much about Cuban cigars?
-Are you a man who likes to treat himself right?
-I've had my moments.
-I am. And I'm not ashamed of it. Nobody ever said on their death bed -- "I treated myself too well."
-I thought it was -- Nobody ever said, "I should have spent more time at the office."
-Fill in the blank. I don't mind the office. The point is, you only go 'round once. Like the Zens say -- Be here now.
-What do you do?
-Althea hasn't told you?
-We've been talking about her, mostly.
-Well, in '85 four of us left our firms and formed an investment banking venture. We've got twenty-three people working there now.
-We've done... very well. You know anything about addiction, Doc?
-A little.
-Well, I'm addicted to winning. I say when you're in the red zone, you gotta score. So what do you think?
-Tastes good.
-No... I mean about Althea. About her... ...behavior. Do you think you can fix her up?
-What do you think's wrong with her?
-You're the doctor, what do you think?
-Clarence Norman White, do you understand how serious are the crimes with which you have been charged?
-I do.
-...People who have come to you with the faith that you know what you're doing... and that you are who you say you are?
-Yes, your honor.
-It means absolutely nothing to me that so many of your patients have come forward with praise for you and your therapeutic skills. You understand that?
-Mr. White, I am frustrated that the criminal code in this state allows a maximum sentence of only six months and a maximum fine of only $2000.
-I'm sorry, your honor.
-What?
-I'm sorry you're frustrated.
-Are you disrespecting this court, Mr. White?
-No, sir. I was empathizing. Sorry.
-Yeah... me you, too... I was at your house...
-Oh?
-I've seen you going by on your board, but I didn't realize -- you're so young... to be so...
-So, is this like a Japanese restaurant?
-I'd better get in there.
-That's a lot of people all at once.
-It's okay. They pre-order. There's a choice of three entrees.
-Meat loaf, turkey quesadillas, or salad nicoise.
-Salad nicoise? I love salad nicoise.
-You do?
-Yeah.
-You're early... it's not ready. What happened?
-My patient had to leave early.
-Does the phrase "nosy" have any meaning to you, Lily?
-I think it's like... inquisitive.
-It was Henry Follett.
-Man, you see him a lot. And it's very wrong to reveal it. Next you'll be saying what his problem is.
-What do you want to know?
-How long you been in this town?
-Oh, I don't know...
-Four months, two and a half weeks -- that's how long. And you've already got more patients than those other two shrinks combined.
-You know who that is, don't you? You really don't? That's Skip Skipperton, man. He gets himself hit by a truck, this whole town shuts down.
-So, what makes you so popular? What's your secret?
-You like me. How come?
-How ya doin', Ainge? Evenin', Lily.
-Do we run into the street? No, I didn't think so. Nice car. How's that place?
-And the Brocketts?
-Horror show. What'd you do tonight?
-It was insane here, man. 'Hadda call in the National Guard. Then I did my laundry... watched 20/20.
-...And?
-Shocking. Did you know the government is wasteful? You heard it here first. Oh, and being a supermodel... it's no walk in the park.
-Why do you watch?
-They come through a few times each year. Hello, Mrs. Saito, good to see you again! It's a tour.
-Where am I supposed to eat?
-Lily, I want you to meet Skip. Skip, Lily.
-...so rich?
-Doc...
-Lily.
-I don't want you to be mad at Skip...
-He told you.
-Skip and I wouldn't have got together if it weren't for you. That's a big deal.
-You would have met in some shower eventually...
-I want to give you something. Will you let me?
-Thanks, Lily, I don't need anything.
-Yes, you do, you damn well do.
-Okay.
-Here it is, some advice -- do the hard thing.
-That's it? That's what you're giving me?
-What it might take is... doing time.
--- you can sit up and look at me if you'd like -- -- maybe it would be helpful if you told me a little about what brought you here.
-...but it's not really my school -- and this is very interesting -- it's the school from the next district --
--- you crazy? You can't do this!
-Sure I can, Lionel.
-I'm a criminal lawyer -- you think I like my clients? I can't stand most of them! But I don't kick them out...
-Don't you at least have a back door I can use?
-Maybe some of us don't need this crap!
-Hello, Lionel.
-You've got to have the right ladder for the job. You don't know what you're doing, you can get yourself in trouble.
-It's a country club. Don't worry about it.
-But you know how to drive?
-Sure.
-Got a license? But no car?
-Don't need it.
-I just got my license two weeks ago.
-You're good.
-I been drivin' since I was twelve.
-That would explain it.
-Can you help Mom?
-I'm trying.
-What's wrong with her?
-Is she a friend of yours?
-Hiya, Doc.
-Martin.
-How are you?
-Hello, Mother. I want you to meet Dr. Mumford.
-What's happening here?
-We're going for a walk.
-Do you think that's a good idea?
-Dr. Mumford does, yes. I've put myself completely in his hands. For today, anyway.
-It'll never happen! You're in big trouble, mister.
-Ph.D., psychologist.
-Oh... not a real doctor.
-What'd you want?
-There's something I think we need to talk about.
-Finally, some common sense...
-What do you mean?
-I think you know what I mean.
-No, I really don't.
-I think you do.
-Why don't you tell me?
-Well... you see, the problem is --
-Wow. You're something.
-Well, look who's here...
-Good evening, Mrs. Cook.
-Just who is here, can you tell me?
-Could I see Sofie, please?
-Sofie. It's so obvious... you're after my daughter.
-Feel free to lie down. Most people do.
-What can you tell me about this?
-When did you start to feel this way?
-What?
-You think that now! You think it's a bunch of hooey, don't you?
-No.
-That's okay. Maybe it is. My mother always says -- "Everything that's wrong with you is in your head." I suppose that's true.
-Back when this started, was there anything unusual happening in your life? A change of job, of living situation... a loss of some kind?
-No... but it started one year to the day after my divorce became final. That's not too suspicious, is it?... But it wasn't like I was feeling bad about the divorce. Just the opposite.
-Hmm.
-Hmm? Is that a professional opinion?
-Hmm, as in -- that's interesting. Sometimes, with enough clues, it's possible to figure these things out.
-Even if you don't think it's real?
-I don't know what's real and what isn't. That's never been my strong suit. But if you're tired all the time and you've had to give up the life you were having and come back home when you didn't want to... that's worth trying to fix. Maybe I can help you do that.
-What would you do?
-We... we would try several things. But I need to see you a lot.
-I don't know. I barely made it today.
-We'll take it slow. You'll never feel you can't handle it.
-I don't think I can afford it. I don't want my dad paying.
-You have the best answer for everything. You seem so... hopeful. Are you always this sunny?
-No one ever thought so. You must bring it out.
-Is it contagious? 'Cause everyone agrees my immune system's way down.
-Maybe you'll catch it.
-I'm not making any promises.
-We'll turn back anytime you want.
-Mom's such a cutie.
-People usually have to get to know me before they hate me.
-She's not in a bad mood. She's like that all the time. It doesn't bother me anymore. It's my dad and my brother I worry about.
-Maybe... but you're the one whose ass is dragging.
-Is that the technical description of what I've got?
-Is she against you getting help?
-We don't discuss it.
-Something's bothering her.
-Please... forgive me.
-What?
-Okay then... Are you positive your mother's a bitch? Just kidding.
-You've got a funny idea of funny.
-I've offended you!
-No.
-Is this the treatment?
-Sorry... I'm done.
-I'm embarrassed. The list is so long.
-Be specific.
-Sore throat?
-Painful lymph glands? Forget fulness... irritability... depression?
-Yes, yes, and definitely yes. Also... I get confused.
-Yeah, most people have that. It's confusing here.
-Where?
-I don't know if I mentioned the headaches.
-Did you get headaches before this? But you get more now? Or more severe?
-No, not really. They're about the same. My marriage was one long headache.
-I can give myself a headache instantly.
-Is that like a party trick?
-There... I've given myself a real whopper.
-You actually address yourself by name in your thoughts? So you really think having two opposing ideas in your head does some kind of damage?
-Sometimes, yeah... pulling in two different directions at once. It makes tiny little tears in our fabric.
-You're doing great.
-I don't know if I'm going to make it the whole way.
-It doesn't matter. Go on.
-You're purposely making me talk while we do this... ...because you think this is good for me... ...and you're a sadistic bastard...
-Yes.
-...who thinks there's nothing really wrong with me.
-That was really bad, wasn't it?
-Disgusting.
-And I'll bet you can interpret the whole thing
-Is that when you split up?
-So whose route is this?
-Brady Peck's. Fourteen years old. Lives next door.
-And he's where?
-In the capitol for Boy's Nation. Five days. Why?
-I'm thinking a gal could make a good living doing this. How hard could it be squeezing out some fourteen year old?
-You like it?
-It's all right.
-Then you can expect me at 5:30 tomorrow morning.
-And this is legitimate therapy?
-When I was in high school we used to come up here and make out. I liked to sit on the rock and watch the sun go down.
-That's what I like.
-Which thing?
-Either one.
-Why'd you come to the house the other night?
-I thought I had something to tell you. But it turned out I didn't.
-My brother said you were about to fire me.
-That's one way to put it.
-I bet I know what changed your mind... ...My mother. She was so horrible, you decided you couldn't desert me.
--- you've been a tremendous help to me.
-Yeah?
-I can't tell you how much I admire you. You have a wonderful way with people. And you're very insightful. I feel like you've seen me clearly... I never used to admit what a horrible person my mother was. You've made that possible for me.
-That's... good?
-Yes! And my ex-husband -- he never accepted me for who I was, just like Mother. The things you've said have helped me understand what a dick he is.
-I don't know if --
-You're shockingly honest, that's what makes you great. I've never had a man treat me this way. With you, I feel really... listened to. Can I tell you something? It's a little embarrassing, but I feel very unguarded with you.
-Of course.
-I need to talk to you... Doctor. Can I come in?
-It might've been more appropriate if we had followed a traditional approach to the doctor-patient relationship.
-Is something wrong, Sofie?
-Yes, something's very wrong, Dr. Mumford.
-You're upset.
-Is it something you've heard about me?
-No, it is not something I've heard about you! It is someth-- Why? Is there something I should have heard about you?
-All right... I'm going to come right out and say this, because that's what your shrink is for, right, so you can tell him what's bothering you?
-Um-huh.
-First of all, I have been feeling much better lately. I don't know if the syndrome is over -- if it's just run its course or something -- but I feel a hundred per cent better than when I first came to you.
-I'm glad.
-Given that, I'm obviously not going to be judging things in the most realistic way.
-I don't follow you.
-I'm saying that since I'm doing so much better -- which I attribute to you -- I'm liable to misinterpret some of my feelings.
-Okay...
-The point is this -- I am not a blank page. I did not just fall off the turnip truck. Do you know what I mean?
-I think so.
-I know a little about psychology. I took three different courses in college. It's true, none of them were above the two hundred level, but I took them... And there was one concept I remember very well.
-What was that?
-Transference!
-Transference.
-Hello?
-Hello.
-Mother...
-I guess you saw the show...?
-Which show was that?
-Sofie...
-Part of it. We were watching "ER" until someone called.
-...How violated I feel?
-You feel violated?
-Not me... all my other my patients. I smelled tar and feathers on the way over here.
-I am irate!
-But...
-But nothing... I'm mad as hell. This is a terrible thing you've done.
-But, there is one... mitigating factor I want you to consider before you write me off.
-What?
-Will you think about it?
-I don't know. Depends. I'm in a bad mood.
-Oh.
-...but first, you have to tell me something...
-Anything... just ask.
-You got off easy.
-Will you wait for me?
-We're only talking about six weeks.
-Will you be here?
-...so he already had the tattoo that said, "Naomi Forever"... and now they're broken up, see, and he has to have it removed. But while the scar is still healing, or whatever you call it when you have a tattoo removed, he meets Chandra. And it's serious, immediate love. So in no time, he's gone from the most gorgeous model in the world to
-What do you mean, "in no time"?
-In maybe three or four issues.
-Weekly or monthly?
-Monthly! God, how shallow do you think Brad is? Why do I waste my time telling you this stuff?
-Why do you think you tell me, Nessa?
-Don't do that thing... ...that shrink thing.
-The school board doesn't pay you? What kind of deal is that?
-It's called pro bono.
-Pro boner? Pro bono, huh? For whose good, supposedly?
-It's my bit for the community.
-Fuck the community. There was this article my friends and I read. It was "25 Signs He's Great in Bed". It was very fascinating.
-Where was this?
-Where?... The New York Times. The first one was -- "he handles produce well." Which we already knew! The point is, you have a lot of the signs.
-You been spying on me in the supermarket, Nessa?
-I knew you wouldn't answer. I've been thinking about what you said last time. How me trying to lose weight -- and constantly not -- is like a lot of people with addictions. How maybe I can't lose the weight, ever... Which we already knew...
-That's not quite what I said --
-Isn't she amazing? That is such a wicked look.
-What do you want me to see?
-What are you doing? We're not done. I just need to find the thing...
-If you don't want to have a session today, it's okay.
-I want to have the session. I thought it would be cool if I could show you some of the things that interest me. But I guess you're not into it... which we already knew.
-What happened today?
-What are you talking about?
-Was it something that happened at school?
-These appointments were not my idea, remember.
-I don't think you know what you're talking about.
-Uh-huh.
-There's this kid at school... Martin Brockett. He has some gigantic idea of himself that no one else shares. You wouldn't believe the crap he lays on me... Who appointed him my spiritual leader? If he has everything so figured out how come his best friend is a .22 rifle? And why's he spend all his time chasing after me? Probably thinks I'm gonna
-Do you think that's what he wants?
-...I mean, Doc, the dude is seriously deluded. I said that to him, I said, "If you think I'm gonna do all that shit for you, man, you are seriously deluded."
-What'd he say?
-What did he want you to do?
-...What balls on this guy? What're we... ...going steady? Jesus.
-No again?
-I said I'd consider it. Nobody owns me. And the last thing was insane. I don't know what's wrong with him... No magazines.
-Really?
-I don't know if I can quit. We're gonna try it together, like, you know, AA or something. And I made him give up his .22. No more sneaking around the hills with his fucking nut gun like some loony tune.
-He agreed?
-You're Doc Mumford. Skip Skipperton.
-How are you?
-..."Find the need and fill it" my dad used to say -- I guess a lot of dads say that -- but I did and it just took off.
-No kidding... Panda. Where'd that come from?
-Would you like another beer?
-Nah... scotch.
-Can I ask you a personal question?
-Of course! That's exactly what I want.
-I gotta pee. Can I ask you something? This town is called Mumford... Been that way since... 18... 18-0... 18-0... ...thirteen! Right? Now here's the question -- Your name is Mumford, too.
-Is that the question?
-I hope you don't think I want you to do this for free. Just because we're gonna play it like we're friends, doesn't mean I won't pay you like a doctor.
-I understand.
-I have a lot of money. Do you know how much money I've got?
-Don't tell me, 'cause I'm not going to tell you what I've got.
-I've got three big ones.
-I'm impressed. I couldn't make three million dollars if I lived three lifetimes.
-This is great!
-This is exactly what I wanted.
-Skip, you must have lots of people you can throw a ball with.
-You'd be surprised. Most guys have kids or wives or girlfriends. They're busy. It's not as easy as you think.
-Skip, you're the head of the whole deal here. Are they busier than you?
-So, would you say we're out here... let me think how to put this... Is your problem really that you're... lonely?
-Don't you like this?
-Hell yes, I like it. What's better than this? Most guys would kill just to have someone do this with them whenever they like.
-Okay then. Have you got a lot of friends?
-Lily and I talk a bit. You know Lily, runs the coffee shop?
-No... I've seen her. Good-looking woman.
-She's probably ten years older than you.
-Good-looking woman.
-Lives downstairs from me. She's got a great dog named for Danny Ainge.
-Really? I'm the only person I know that likes Danny Ainge, outside of Celtic fans. Maybe Phoenix.
-Well, there's Lily.
-Did you know that Danny Ainge was drafted by the Blue Jays? Do you know what kind of athlete you have to be to play in the NBA and in the bigs?
-Amazing.
-Unbelievable... ...And Lily named her dog after him? Far out.
-What?
-So I guess Henry Follett is a patient of yours. He's my pharmacist.
-Pretty good, too. Lots of detail. Nothing hard core. Old-fashioned ones, from back when people cared about atmosphere and character.
-Uh-huh.
-Problem is, his fantasy life's a lot better than his real one. Nothing can live up to it. His wife got sick of it and left him. Took his kids with her.
-Hey, Skip.
-Doc. I know we're not supposed to get together till Wednesday...
-How many sessions have we had now, Doc? Six. And it's been good... like we were two buddies hanging out. Just shootin' the shit.
-I want to tell you something, Doc, but before I do, I need to ask you a question... Because, for me to tell you this thing -- well, I haven't told anybody about this. It's the biggest secret I've got.
-Sometimes it's best to keep a few things just for ourselves.
-You're a shrink, Doc. Aren't I supposed to be able to tell you everything?
-Hey, maybe that's all right! I don't know all that much about psychology or therapy or... ethics, so maybe there's something I missed... or something...
-You're concerned that maybe I can't be trusted with a secret.
-Yeah, well... what I was gonna tell you --
--- Skip. Knowing what you do about me --
-All right, I'm just gonna tell you, as simple and direct as I can. And you understand that this is a big secret? Just between us? Okay. You know I've got this gift for certain kinds of... machines.
-You are Panda, monarch of modems.
-That's right. And you also know that even though I make 23% of the modems in the world... I cannot make one simple connection with any woman who could truly love me.
-Okay... let's say that, for now.
-Guess. Go ahead, guess!
-Jerking off?
-Slash what?
-Sexual surrogate... slash... companion.
-A doll?
-How's it coming?
-You don't think I'm insane?
-And that's your secret? You meant -- like a trade secret?
-No, Doc, a private secret! It's perverted, it's pitiful. What am I -- Dr. Frankenstein? Aren't you repulsed?
-Sounds like kind of a good idea.
-Really?
-Skip, that's not much of a secret.
-It's not?
-Who else knows?
-Just you.
-Damn! What is your name?
-Doesn't matter. You can call me Doc.
-I've told you a lot of private stuff.
-I can tell you anything else.
-But there was one job that looked like it might be fun -- Investigator.
--- an investigator for the Internal Revenue Service?
-Everybody has a story, Skip.
-Sounds like you have several.
-What it felt like was... a series of separate, unconnected lives -- hillbilly kid, wrecked college boy, garbage man, civil service guy... ...et cetera... et cetera. Every time I'd leave a life, it felt good. Whatever problems I was having were suddenly gone. I had no friends and I didn't talk to my family. The only constant, stabilizing force in my life was... drugs.
-An IRS investigator with a drug problem?
-It wasn't the best situation.
-Did you carry a gun?
-Of course, him being insane didn't make it all right that I fell in love with his wife.
-"Get to know your therapist."
-You were messed up, man.
-But look at me now...
-At least you pulled yourself out...
-Things got a lot worse.
-And the drugs?
-Somebody's taking a shower down there.
-That'd be Lily.
-I wish I could live in the shower. I'd take five a day if I had the time. I went to this spa in Germany, a sanitarium practically, up on this mountain. And the great thing -- they just kept you wet all day.
-Who'd you go with? That's not good.
-How'd you do it? The new you.
-You know how easy it is. A kid can manage it if he wants a fake I.D. You can do practically the whole deal at your local Kinko's. The only variable is how much pride you take in the product.
-I know it starts with a birth certificate...
-What about it?
-"Mumford"... I mean, why pick the name of the town you were going to?
-And a birth certificate is enough?
-But you studied psychology, right? You did the training and just never got the degree?
-No... no training.
-Psych major?
-English Lit.
-Jeez, man. But you're good at it!
-Where ya going? I've got a million questions.
-I've never brought anyone down here before.
-I'm honored.
-Doc, there's something about what you told me the other night I can't get out of my head. It's driving me batty -- Why me? How did you know you could trust me?
-Skip, I've got a problem and I need some advice.
-Pretty creepy, huh? Are you totally disgusted?
-Skip, you're a visionary. That can be a burden.
-This doesn't seem a little... perverse?
-There are a lot of lonely people in the world. Somebody's gonna figure this out someday.
-It's not going to be me. I'm giving it up.
-Really?
-It's all your fault. In the last 48 hours, I've completely lost interest.
-Lily.
-Lily... ...Skip, that's great! You and Lily.
-Sorry...
-I'm here for you, Doc.
-Skip, you know that it's improper -- completely unethical -- for a licensed psychologist to carry on a romantic relationship with one of his patients?
-I guess that makes sense.
-Doc!... It's not me, is it?
-Hmm. I guess that doesn't help... I see where you're going here. It's a mess.
-Forgive me, please. What a gracious thought. We must do that.
-When?
-It's possible. I don't know about that.
-I suppose your extended training was at an institution in that area?
-I trained in the east, myself -- Cornell -- and I don't care what anyone says, there really are regional differences. I found the state certification exams out here quite harrowing... Did you?
-Oh, yeah, very tough. But I guess that's good... to keep out the quacks.
-Which examiner did you have? I probably know him.
-That was a terrible thing.
-Yes... your particular approach.
-I told you to leave or die, you refused, and now you may have killed us all. For you have unleashed the creature that we have feared for more than four thousand years.
-Relax, I got him.
-No mortal weapons can kill this creature. He is not of this world.
-You know where he's taking her?
-Who the hell are these guys?
-I never killed a priest before.
-They are evil, cursed, they matter not.
-We saved him! Saved him before the creature could finish his work. Now leave, all of you, quickly, before he finishes you all.
-And what ritual would that be?
-The ritual to bring the body of Anck- su-namun back to life.
-And how does one do that?
-By reading the Book Of The Dead.
-Oh yes, of course.
-And then killing your sister.
-If he arrives before us, it will be too late.
-Personally, I would like to surrender. Why can we not just surrender?
-Now go find me a big stick.
-How'd a guy like you end up in the Legion anyways?
-I got caught robbing a synagogue. Lots of good stuff in them holy places; churches, temples, mosques, and who's guarding them?
-Altar boys?
-What then? Robbery? Extortion? Kidnapping!
-None of the above, thank you.
-My very good friend! What a surprise.
-You never were any good with the ladies, O'Connell.
-So you're the one leading the Americans, I shoulda figured. So what's the scam? You get 'em out in the middle of the desert then leave 'em to rot?
-The girl saved my life, figured it was the least I could do, keep her out of trouble.
-Let's make us even, shall we?
-O'Connell! I am going to kill you for this!
-Hey O'Connell! Looks to me like I got all the horses!
-Ten to one, O'Connell, your odds are no-so-good.
-Goin' somewhere?
-C'mon, friend.
-Why do you like to fight so much?
-Beni ya little stinkweed, where did you slink off to?
-You left me! You left me in the desert to rot.
-Oh yeah,... sorry bout that. So who's this guy?
-This is Prince Imhotep, High Priest of Osiris.
-The Prince does not like to be touched by other humans. A Silly eastern superstition, I'm afraid.
-Yeah, well, we all got our little problems today don't we?
-He has come to help Mister Burns. Somehow I feel responsible.
-Don't gimme that, you never had any scruples.
-Where's your new friend?
-Then you got no excuse for living. What the hell you doin, being buddies with this creep, Beni? What's in it for you?
-It is better to be the right hand of the Devil,... than in his path. As long as I serve him, I am immune.
-Immune from what?
-You shall see.
-The book! The black book they found at Hamunaptra! Imhotep wants it back. Said to me it would be worth it's weight in diamonds.
-What does he want the book for?
-Like what that Moses guy did to that Pharaoh guy?
-What just happened?
-Yeah?
-...and how do you say? Those slimy things, in your stomach?
-Intestines.
-I'm sorry, it was an accident.
-You put up with me, because I can read and write ancient Egyptian, decipher hieroglyphs and hieratic, and I'm the only person within a thousand miles who knows how to properly code and catalogue this library.
-See the cartouche there, it's the official royal seal of Seti the First, I'm sure of it.
-Miss Carnavon. Gentlemen.
-What is he doing here?
-And you think this justifies killing innocent people!?
-In the necropolis, when I saw him, - alive,... walking, he called me Anck- su-namun. And then in Mister Burns' quarters he tried to kiss me.
-I'm thinking that if the black Book Of The Dead can bring people back to life --
--- then perhaps, the golden Book Of The Living can return them to the underworld.
-She is like all the others. She will die in the desert.
-The key!? She has the lost key!?
-Yes. No one has ever had so much, been so close. We must stop her, or it will be the end of us all.
-Then we will kill her, we will kill her and all those with her.
-And burn the map and retrieve the key.
-It will be done. But what of the American expedition? They leave tomorrow as well.
-I'm willin, to go on a little faith, here.
-You will not believe it.
-Okay, let's cut to the chase. He's afraid of cats, what's that about?
-So your sayin', if we find the book made outta gold --
--- And read the sacred incantations contained inside it.
-You think it'll send this guy back to hell?
-Which would be located not far to the east of the Anubis statue.
-Don't tell me we gotta go back out there?
-See! That proves it! Old Seti's fortune's gotta be under this sand!
-I wouldn't trade ya for a brass spittoon!
-The sun turning black.
-You bastards!
-The hell with that! I'm not goin' nowhere! We're safe here.
-The hell with this. I'm goin, downstairs to get me a drink. You want somethin'?
-And what is he in prison for?
-I did not know, so when I heard you were coming, I asked him that myself.
-And what did he say?
-Where are they taking him?
-No women allowed.
-I will give you one hundred pounds to spare his life.
-I would pay one hundred pounds just to see him hang.
-Two hundred pounds.
-Proceed!
-You lie.
-Are you saying this filthy godless son of a pig knows where to find The City Of The Dead? Truly?
-Yes and if you cut him down, we will give you ten percent.
-Fifty percent.
-Twenty.
-A bright good morning to all.
-What are you doing here?
-Do you realize, we are standing inside a room that no one has entered in over four thousand years.
-So who's the broad?
-We uh,... found... your puzzle box, and we've come to ask you about it.
-No.
-No?
-How do you know the box pertains to Hamunaptra?
-You were actually at Hamunaptra?
-I just decked your brother
-Yeah, I was there.
-You swear?
-Every damn day.
-No, I mean --
--- I know what you mean. I was there, alright. Seti's place. The City Of The Dead.
-What did you find? What did you see?
-Could you tell me how to get there? The exact location?
-Yes.
-Give... give him... give him GLAAAA-- !
-Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya.
-The only thing that scares me, Mister O'Connell, are your manners.
-Still angry that I kissed ya, huh?
-Did I miss something? Are we going into battle?
-There's something out there, you know, something under that sand.
-Evil. The Tuaregs and the Bedouin believe that Hamunaptra is cursed, they call it, "the doorway to hell."
-I don't believe in fairy tales and hokum, Mister O'Connell, but I do believe that one of the most famous books in history is buried out there, The Book Of The Living. It's what first interested me in Egypt as a child. It's why I came here, sort of a life's pursuit.
-You know your history.
-Relax! I'm the map! It's all up here.
-Can you swim?
-Well of course I can swim, if the occasion calls for it.
-We're almost there.
-For what?
-That "thing" gets me excited.
-The things that get you excited.
-According to Bembridge Scholars, inside the statue of Anubis was a secret compartment, perhaps containing The Book Of The Living.
-What are those mirrors for?
-Oh my god, It's a preparation room.
-Preparation for what?
-Yeah, that'd bring you back to life.
-Oh my god,... it looks like, it looks like a sarcophagus.
-Why would they bury somebody in the ceiling?
-There's some sort of lock here. You say these thing's are made of granite with a steel interior?
-A key! That's it! That's what he was talking about.
-Seems the Americans had a little misadventure of their own today, three of their diggers were killed.
-How?
-You two!
-You don't believe in curses, huh?
-Unlike your brother, Miss, you I don't get. You're a whole new brew.
-I know, you're wondering, what's a place like me doing in a girl like this?
-Something like that.
-Egypt is in my blood. My father was a famous explorer, he loved Egypt so much that he married an Egyptian. My mother! Who was quite an adventurer herself
-I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure hunter, or a gunfighter! Mister O'Connell But I'm proud of what I am.
-I'm going to kiss you, Mister O'Connell.
-No you're not.
-I'm not?
-Not unless you call me Rick.
-Why would I do that?
-No... Why?... Should I?
-Oh my god, I've dreamed about this ever since I was a little girl.
-Is he supposed to look like that?
-Are you saying somebody threw these things in with our guy, and they slowly ate him alive?
-According to my readings, our friend suffered the HOM-DAI, the worst of all ancient Egyptian curses, one reserved for only the most evil blasphemers. In all of my research, I've never read of this curse actually having been performed.
-That bad huh?
-Yes, they never used it because they feared it so. It's written, that if a victim of the HOM-DAI should ever arise, he would bring with him the ten plagues of Egypt.
-You sure you outta be playin, around with that?
-Having an encounter with a four thousand year old walking-talking corpse tends to convert one.
-Forget it, we're out the door down the hall and gone.
-No we are not. We woke him up, and we must try and stop him.
-We?! What we?! You didn't read that book. I told you not to play around with that thing.
-Then we'll have to find some immortal ones.
-According to that Book, once this creature has been reborn, his curse will spread, and as he grows in strength, so will his curse grow, infecting the people until the whole of the earth is destroyed.
-Yeah? So? Is that my problem?
-It's everybody's problem!
-Look lady, I appreciate you saving my life and all, but when I signed on, I agreed to take you out there and bring you back, and I did, now were even, end of job, end of story, contract terminated.
-That's what I am to you? A contract?
-You can either tag along with me, or you can stay here and play around with Mister Maggot.
-I'm staying.
-He's here! I saw him! That thing is here!
-You called me your girl?
-What?... Oh yeah, that was just um, you know, figure a speech.
-I think you were jealous
-Got it!
-Don't do it, Evelyn.
-Got guts, lady.
-You...! YOU...!
-Have you no respect for the dead?
-Well I wish you'd do it sooner rather than later, before you ruin my career the way you've ruined yours.
-Oh yes I do! I have something right here!
-Jonathan?
-Yes?
-Two questions. Who the hell is Seti the First? And was he rich?
-He was the last Pharaoh of the Old Kingdom, said to be the wealthiest Pharaoh of them all.
-Yes. The City of The Dead. Where the early Pharaohs were said to have hidden the wealth of Egypt.
-Right, right, in a big underground treasure chamber. Everybody knows the story. The entire necropolis was rigged to sink into the sand. On Pharaoh's command, a flick of the switch! And the whole place could disappear beneath the dunes.
-You told me you found it on a dig down in Thebes!
-I was mistaken.
-You lied to me!
-I lie to everybody, what makes you so special?
-I'm your sister.
-That just makes you more gullible.
-You stole it from a drunk at the local Casbah?!
-But he's just a filthy criminal?
-Do you really think he'll show up?
-Undoubtedly, I know the breed, he may be a cowboy, but his word is his word.
-Ah, begging your pardon, but shouldn't we be going?
-According to my calculations, we should be right under the statue. We'll come up right between his legs. Oh my.
-It's called mummification. You're dead when they do this
-What do you suppose killed him?
-I can't believe I allowed the two of you to get me drunk.
-Don't blame me, I don't even remember being there.
-Juicy?
-I found it, Evy! I found it
-What do I do, Evy!? What do I do!?
-Finish the inscription, idiot!
-Ummm, Hootash im... Hootash im now what is this last symbol here?
-Ah! Ah! Ahmenophus!
-She's my sister, actually.
-Hey,... don't I know you?
-Sit down, O'Connell, sit down, we could use another good player.
-I can't believe the price of these fleabags.
-We coulda had 'em for free, all we had to do was give 'em your sister.
-Yes, awfully tempting, wasn't it?
-That thing gives me the creeps.
-You're welcome to my share of the spider webs.
-None taken.
-We'll sneak up and steal that book right out from under them.
-Lemme get this straight, they stuck a sharp, red hot poker up your nose, cut your brain into small pieces, then ripped it all out through your nostrils?
-Whoever's in here, sure wasn't getting out.
-Tough break.
-Where's my gun?
-What are you going to do? Shoot him?
-You did not!?... We're not!?
-He certainly was not a popular fellow when they planted him.
-Did you see that!? Grasshoppers! Billions of grasshoppers!
-Who's here!?
-That looked rather painful.
-Ya know, ever since I met you, my luck has been for crap.
-Damn-it! That's two down and only two to go.
-Believe it, sister. That's what brought our buddy back to life.
-What?
-We gotta get her back.
-Okay, now what the hell does this Horus guy look like?
-He's a big fellow with pointy ears and a face like a falcon.
-Do something, Jonathan! Kill it!
-I knew you'd come. I left that skylight open for you.
-I know you did.
-I knew you'd know.
-I know you knew I'd know.
-But did you know I knew you'd know I'd know?
-The jig is up, Casanova. I've spent six months watching you, and know exactly what you're up to.
-Really?
-And I know the terrible revenge that you plan to inflict on this city.
-I guess you know just about everything, don't you, Lance?
-Um-hmm.
-Except for one little thing.
-And what's that?
-That I've hot wired the city's entire power supply through that catwalk.
-Everything's going exactly as we planned.
-Not quite. You haven't announced our engagement yet.
-It must have slipped my mind.
-Your mind is so slippery.
-Where are you going?
-What are you doing all alone in the dark?
-I thought you were done?
-Our guests are waiting.
-You two timing psychotic bastard.
-Darling, you've got the wrong idea.
-Do I?
-The Bowler? I remember him from when I was a kid. He was killed years ago.
-Look, honey, being a superhero... it's a guy thing.
-And then one day, he didn't come home. The police said it was an accident. But cargo containers don't just fall on people. He was murdered... After that I fell apart. I dropped out of school, became a mud wrestler, married and divorced a jerk. When my mother died I hit bottom... but then, when I was cleaning out her attic, I found my
-So who killed him?
-We didn't think this through very well.
-He was the last time I saw him.
-When was that?
-Much less go outside.
-We could really use some coffee --
-Come on, baby!
-Atta, girl!
-Hey, do I look like a Man?
-Who are you?
-And you can't count Horst Buckholtz anyway.
-He was cute though.
-How about... the Savage Six?
-But she's your mother. You gotta tell her.
-I'm her only son, and she always had such high hopes for me. Medicine. Law.
-But you're a superhero.
-The cape. The turban. She wouldn't understand.
-I know... My girlfriends all dumped me after I put on the mask. They thought I'd lost it.
-It's late. I'm headin' home.
-Me, too.
-No one will believe us.
-Sounds good to me.
-But that place is huge and we don't know where this psycho thing is --
-Hey... Can I buy you a beer?
-That's two more than the Fantastic Four.
-Casanova said that in two days the entire city would belong to him... and there wasn't a thing that we could do about it.
-What did he mean?
-Mon Captain, it's for you.
-Hey... you okay?
-Eat your mustard.
-Yes!
-Doctor Heller?
-Yes!
-It's me... Elizabeth.
-Elizabeth! Little Elizabeth! Why you're so... middle aged!
-Thanks.
-How's your dad?
-He's dead.
-Doc, these are my friends. We're superheroes, and we need your help.
-Snap out of it!
-He'll never make it.
-I hope you enjoy these cigars. I had to kill a dozen Cubans to get them.
-Ummm.
-Have you considered my offer?
-But times have changed, and you been in that bug house a long tine. I can see you still got the style, but I dunno for sure you still got the edge.
-I got it.
-Superheroes.
-Should I kill them?
-That boy's got talent.
-What did you do with Captain Amazing?
-I'll let you in on a little secret, Roy. In two days this entire city will belong to me, and there's not a damn thing your little pals can do about it. It's the perfect time to switch teams... So what do you say?
-You're nuts.
-They always call the great ones nuts.
-And the nuts always call themselves great.
-Are you with me... or against me?
-Against.
-Thanks for reminding me which team I'm on.
-You're dead.
-And the light goes out...
-Let me guess... Bullets don't hurt you.
-I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but I couldn't help but notice... that you're a dead ringer for Veronica Lake in "The Blue Dahlia".
-Are you an actress?
-Just a waitress.
-You know I'm writing a play -- it's just a little Broadway thing, but there's a part in it that I think you'd be perfect for.
-Really?
-I'd love to hear you read it. Could you stick around after the luncheon?
-Sure -- I guess.
-Hi.
-I thought you'd chickened out on me.
-How 'bout giving me "the tour"?
-Who's the artist?
-Come here.
-I'm not that kind of girl.
-Then why are you here?
-Curiosity.
-I'd better go.
-You're a spy.
-What?
-I saw him walk you home.
-Who?
-Stay away!
-Doesn't it piss you off the way the when you really want to talk to somebody you can't think of anything to say!
-I guess... Are you always so angry?
-Or talk?
-Hi.
-Alone tonight?
-Monica... I was wondering if -- uh -- maybe we -- I mean you and I -- could -- uh -- you know -- get a -- I mean have a...
-Date?
-Yeah.
-I get off work in fifteen minutes. Walk me home?
-Sure.
-I admire you.
-Why?
-Being a superhero, wanting to save the world. It's so... unselfish.
-It is?
-Most people just want to make money or be famous or something. But you risk everything, just to help people.
-I wouldn't mind being famous.
-I've never been able to figure out what to do with my life, which is why I guess I'm still a waitress.
-Nothing wrong with being a waitress.
-What's your real name?
-Roy.
-Me too... I love this stupid old town. It's noisy. It's smelly. It's falling apart.
-It's home.
-I've thought of leaving, going to Chicago or New York, but...
-What have they got that we ain't got?
-Champion's going to bounce back, and I want to be here when it does.
-Me, too.
-You know what? Underneath all that anger I think there's just a little boy who wants everyone to love him.
-I just want to be a superhero.
-It's me.
-At the Frankenstein Center.
-Are you nuts? Get out of there!
-I'm going inside.
-What are you talking about?
-Listen, Casanova may be a supervillain, but he's got a weakness, and I'm it. Maybe -- just maybe -- I can trick him into showing me the location of the whatchamathing.
-He's a psycho! He'll kill you!
-Just shut up and listen. Hold off the attack as long as you can. If I can discover the location I'll call you --
-And what if you get killed?
-Roy... We might never see each other again, so I'd better tell you now... I think you're wonderful.
-What?
-Bye.
-So, let me get this straight. You have the power to become invisible.
-If someone looks at you, you immediately become visible again.
-So how do you know that you've ever been invisible?
-Look, kid, we've got a lot of heroes to interview --
-Come on, guys -- we're fighting against evil.
-You're the Sphinx.
-But now Casanova's back! And we're gonna sit around here all night eating pizza and telling stories! Hey, lets toast some marshmellows!
-The wise snake coils before he strikes.
-You drink too much.
-When are you going to take off that mask?
-Your rage is a very great power, but it blinds you to your heart.
-My heart died a long time ago.
-It is not dead. It is hiding.
-Maybe. But this isn't about living or dying. It's about good versus evil, and we're good, whether we like it or not... Maybe we look a little funny...
-And smell a little funny. We're not bulletproof and we can't fly. But we're superheroes -- and that means doing what's right -- even when it's impossible... This is our city -- these are our friends, our families -- and if we don't save them, nobody will! So I say we take a ride up that hill, blast our way in there, destroy that
-We're all the same really. Our songs, our dreams, our seeds are all just a brave attempt to live forever.
-Oh don't start that again --
-Leave him alone. She's his mother, not yours.
-We had an off night, that's all.
-What are you talking about?
-And it would be the right thing to do.
-I'm liking this.
-Have you ever seen him?
-How could I see him if he's invisible?
-You sure that's how you spell it?
-There's just not enough of us.
-There's a big difference.
-You know something? Those guys are really starting TO PISS ME OFF!
-But there's still only six of us.
-So what else has Superman got?
-This place is built like a fortress.
-GET MAD!
-Your Spiderman Pez dispenser!
-But she still might call!
-Are you coming or not?
-I'll drive.
-Cover me!
-He doesn't miss a trick, does he?
-He's Lance Hunt! Just take off the glasses -- and it's him!
-There's a vague similarity.
-We need a break, that's all! Nobody'd ever heard of him until he busted Casanova Frankenstein!
-Why do they always fill stuff these things so full you can't pull 'em out without ripping 'em!
-I lost another fork tonight. She's getting suspicious, I know it.
-So why don't you just tell her!
-I can't.
-Why not?
-Nah.
-Roy, when was the last time you had an actual date?
-What does it matter? Women just want to control you -- and talk about their feelings. They want to know why you're angry all the time -- and what can they can do to help -- so you tell them there's nothing -- nothing -- just leave me alone -- but they bug you and they bug you and they bug you -- until
-So you're chicken?
-Maybe you should try a more romantic approach.
-Like what? Cutting off my own ear?
-Or flowers.
-I saw him go in -- and he didn't come out!
-Let's go.
-The who?
-The most vicious gang of thugs this city ever produced. Twenty years ago they were Casanova's personal bodyguard. But after he was busted they crawled into the woodwork.
-I'm soaked. Oh great.
-Maybe she's right.
-Agents?
-But there's only three of us, and he's got the entire brotherhood of evil at his disposal.
-Sounds good.
-Maybe there was traffic.
-Roy, remember, it is all within your power. The only thing that's in your way... is you.
-Roy --
-So where's the art?
-What's that?
-He's turned into a completely normal person!
-But... only when no one is looking.
-So you're only invisible... to yourself?
-So you're only invisible, when absolutely no one is looking at you?
-The Obliterators!
-Firepower costs money.
-Yes, Obie-wan.
-You guys going to a costume party?
-We're superheroes.
-Are you famous?
-Not yet.
-So you're like... struggling superheroes?
-We prefer to think of ourselves as unsung... I am the Blue Raja, Master of Silverware...
-Wow.
-Really?
-Usually a superpower is a magical endowment or a great skill. In his case, it's entirely emotional.
-So what can I get you?
-Here you go.
-Ow.
-Jeffrey!
-Oh hi, Mom.
-What are you doing in the silver drawer?
-It's on the television.
-Jeffrey, YOU THIEF!
-Mother... it's not what you think!
-And why are you wearing that silly costume?
-Oh, Mother, I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer with a family -- but it's just not who I am!
-But... the silverware?
-I use it... to fight evil.
-Jeffrey... this is wonderful.
-It is?
-I always knew that you were special.
-You did?
-Oh, who gives a damn who he is? I can't take this anymore. Night after night we're on the streets, busting our humps -- and for what?
-We take the licks and he gets the chicks.
-Hi.
-She likes you.
-Definitely.
-This is bad.
-Who are they?
-We may be getting in over our heads here.
-This looks like a job for Superman --
-Or Batman --
-Don't crunch the leaves.
-Sorry.
-Be a Mohican.
-Do we have to?
-And there's the Sphinx.
-The who?
-And a social life.
-To us!
-Are you sure he's still lives here?
-But, Doc... where's the machine guns?
-Twenty years ago all the major hoodlums of this city were united into one great brotherhood of evil, and Casanova was their king.
-He busted Casanova and sent the crooks packing.
-Maybe it's time we checked that place out.
-That was too close.
-We're outnumbered twenty to one.
-Oh no.
-It's time.
-We've got lift off!
-Where am I going?
-Through there!
-It is a thing entirely unknown in diplomacy, that one government should assume a right to dictate to another, who is upon terms of equality, the conditions on which she should conduct her commerce; and, assuming such a right, second it by threatening language, in case of non-compliance.
-But, Your Majesty, the very substance of the Tilsit treaty was that you should join the Continental Blockade, boycott English goods, suspend all commercial dealings with her, and be France's ally. Nothing more is being asked than to comply with the treaty.
-My dear Caulaincourt, agreements can endure only when they allow both sides to live. Napoleon may believe it is necessary to injure England but, before that, he must realize it is necessary for him to allow his friends to live. He cannot expect me to tell my nobles they must ruin themselves so that he can bring England to her knees -- and I'm
-I can appreciate what Your Majesty is saying but the Emperor has staked everything on this policy. He has no other way to attack England, and no one knows more than Your Majesty how his overtures for peace have been rejected.
-It's a fine thing to establish policies but, when they don't work, they must be reconsidered. Granted that you have hurt England, but she is still on her feet. And to seal off her trade with Europe, what has it cost you? You have had to rule with an iron hand. You have turned friends into enemies. And even at that, the result has
-I am in no position to debate this with you, Your Majesty, but can you imagine what a blow it will be to the Emperor if you should now desert his cause? It would mean nothing less than victory for England.
-Your Majesty knows my affection for him is deep and genuine, and goes far beyond my official role as Ambassador. But I would be remiss in my feelings for you, and in my responsibility to the Emperor, if I did not say that it is entirely possible that the Emperor will view your refutation of the terms of the Treaty of Tilsit, as the
-I hope you will forgive me, Your Majesty, for requesting an audience at such a late hour, but I have traveled all the way from Moscow to see you, on a matter which cannot wait.
-Very well, General, what is it you wish to say?
-Your Majesty, I have been advised that you have received a letter from Napoleon, offering a peace treaty, and that you have decided to accept it.
-I have decided to accept the principle of a negotiation; the terms are not established.
-If I may, Your Majesty, I would like to offer a dissenting opinion.
-General Kutusov, feel free to say whatever you like.
-I believe I am right in saying that, before the fire, the country had grown weary of the war, and there were few who were interested in continuing the battle.
-Proceed.
-But, since the fire, a completely new spirit has been aroused in the nation. The French have become an army of criminals, against whom Russia must be avenged, against whom she is now prepared to fight to the death.
-You know, General Kutusov, there is a very strong possibility that the fire was not started by Napoleon's troops but was organized under the orders of Rostopchin's secret police.
-I have heard that story but I do not believe it.
-Rostopchin is a fanatic and he is capable of anything -- however, it doesn't affect what we are talking about. Please go on.
-The point I was trying to make is that I think it is reasonable to say that Your Majesty would not find himself under unbearable pressure, if he decided to make peace with the Emperor, at least at this time.
-For the sake of your argument, let us say that is correct.
-Well, has Your Majesty considered what Napoleon's alternatives might be, if you simply chose to ignore his note?
-Yes, General Kutusov, I daresay that this has been considered and discussed at great length. Napoleon would simply spend the winter in Moscow and continue the campaign in the spring. Another lesser possibility might be to march on St. Petersburg now, although there is some doubt that he has the strength to do this, until he refits his army.
-You have my absolute assurance, Your Majesty, that Napoleon does not have the strength to attack St. Petersburg now -- his army is exhausted and ill-supplied, and he would be defeated if he attempted that.
-I will accept your assurance, but I'm afraid I don't see your point.
-Forgive me, Your Majesty, I am about to make it.
-Ah, yes -- proceed.
-Well, that is a very interesting idea, General Kutusov, but I can assure you that Napoleon is no beginner at this. Whatever analysis you have done on this situation, I am sure that he has gone over the same ground.
-I have no doubt that he has, Your Majesty, but does he have any strong moves from which to choose?
-Well, one thing immediately comes to mind, if what you are saying is true -- he would merely withdraw his army from Moscow and return to Poland for the winter.
-Your Majesty has grasped the outlines of his problem in much less time than it took me. This is a crucial point -- and it is a political one, which Your Majesty will be in a far better position to answer than I. Can Napoleon afford to abandon Moscow without signing even the preliminaries of a peace treaty with you?
-I must confess he would look a bit silly, fighting his way to Moscow and turning right around again.
-Perhaps it would be even more serious than that, Your Majesty. His European confederation is held together by some very slender threads. Your Majesty knows even better than I that Austria and Prussia are very doubtful allies, and the Emperor has reason enough to fear that they will turn on him, at the first sign of weakness.
-Proceed.
-What do you think Napoleon will do?
-If he withdraws his army in good order, it will be a serious political defeat. But, if he should be caught on the move, with his army, in the full grip of winter, then it will be a catastrophe. If Your Majesty can prolong his hopes for a treaty by silence, be deceit, by any means, for another month, thus postponing his departure, then
-General Kutusov, I would like to call a meeting of my cabinet tomorrow morning and have you present this idea to them. I think it has merit and is worthy of consideration.
-And, what a great pleasure it is, indeed, to meet you, Alexander.
-And, what a delightful idea!
-Ah -- you approve?
-I think it's absolutely charming.
-I'm glad you like it.
-Whatever suggested the idea to you?
-You can always tell at a glance whether retreating infantry are being pursed by cavalry, because they hurry along and keep turning around and looking back. When they are retreating before infantry, they merely trudge along, head down.
-Fascinating! Tell me, leaving aside the question of grand strategy, for the moment, what would you say is the single most difficult tactical skill to master?
-Without a doubt, to estimate the enemy's strength on the battlefield. This is something that is only acquired by experience and instinct. At Jena, there were as many opinions about strength of the enemy as there were generals present. Murat said there were 50,000, preparing to attack. Berthier said there were no more than 25,000, about to withdraw. "Berthier sees only what is in
-Ah, my dear Napoleon, sometimes I feel that I am not really an Emperor as you are.
-What do you mean?
-Yes -- who spoke up?
-Yes, Captain? Have you anything you wish to say?
-Yes, with all due respect, I do Citizen Barras.
-Please...
-Ah, my dear friend, come in, come in. Please sit down.
-I'm sorry, I was at the theater and I didn't receive your note until I returned to my hotel.
-Thank you for coming. Would you care for a drink?
-I don't have to tell you of our latest difficulties.
-Things are quite serious, I should say.
-We expect an attack on the Convention tomorrow morning, at daybreak, and I have been placed in charge of its defense.
-What do you have in mind?
-To be perfectly honest, I haven't the vaguest idea.
-Are you serious?
-I don't even know whether a defense is possible.
-What forces do you have at your disposal?
-About 5,000 troops.
-Cavalry?
-The 21st Dragoons, about two or three-hundred troopers.
-Any cannon?
-There are none here.
-Where are they?
-Well, I believe there are at least 30 guns at Sablons.
-You could have them here by daybreak.
-Is this enough to oppose 40,000 men?
-Properly arranged, yes.
-These are odds of 8 to 1.
-The numbers are not particularly relevant. You are not up against soldiers -- this is a mob, and they will run as soon as things become sufficiently unpleasant.
-Would you be prepared to handle this for me?
-Are you proposing to transfer command to me?
-In every practical sense, yes, but, officially, of course, I would have to retain command.
-Fair enough.
-I must be honest with you. I first approached three generals more senior than yourself, and they all very prudently sent excuses.
-I'm not insulted.
-You realize what is at stake?
-Our lives, the revolution, my career?
-Well, Belliard, what's this? What are you doing here? Where is the enemy?
-They are at the gates of Paris, sire.
-And where is the army?
-It is on this road, sire, following me.
-And who is defending Paris?
-Paris is evacuated, sire. The enemy is to enter at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. The National Guard is on duty at the gates.
-Paris has surrendered?! I don't believe it.
-Unhappily, it is true, sire.
-But where are my wife and son? What's become of them? Where is Marmont? Where is Mortier?
-But, sire, Your Majesty would lay Paris open to being sacked. The enemy is outside the gates with more than 120,000 men. Besides this, I left the city under the terms of a treaty and I am forbidden to reenter Paris.
-A treaty? Don't be ridiculous. What treaty is this? Who made it? Who has been giving orders?
-I don't know the details of the treaty, sire, Marshal Mortier sent me word of its having been agreed to, and he said that I was to take the army and make for Fontainebleau.
-But who made this treaty?
-I believe it was arranged by Marshals Mortier and Marmont. I must explain to you that we have had no orders all day. Each marshal has been keeping his own position.
-Who sent my wife and son out of Paris?
-I don't know, sire.
-And where is Joseph?
-I don't know what has happened to Prince Joseph.
-Josephine dead -- how unbelievable! How impossible it is to believe it. She was always physically so strong -- she was never ill a day in her life.
-But did she have the best doctors? Wasn't there any chance at all to save her?
-I don't know, sire -- she had the Tsar's personal physician.
-She should have had Larrey or Corvisart. They might have saved her... But why didn't anyone even write to me? Can you believe that no one even bothered to write to me? Would you have believed that I should read such news in a newspaper? How incredible!
-That is incredible.
-Ah, my poor Josephine. She was the most alluring, most glamorous creature I have ever known -- a woman in every sense of the word, and she had the kindest heart in the world. She may have been a liar and a spendthrift, but she had something that was irresistible -- she was a women to her very fingertips... How impossible it is to
-I have never heard an unkind word about her spoken.
-Who is there?
-Bertrand, sire.
-I have just had the most vivid... dream... about Josephine.
-Yes, sire?
-She was sitting there... and it was as if I had last seen her only the night before... She hadn't changed -- she was still the same -- still completely devoted to me... and she told me we were going to see each other again and, never again, leave each other... She has promised me. Did you see her?
-No, sire... I was asleep.
-Read it back.
-To Joseph Bonaparte -- Dear Joseph, I have been informed by my wife of the cold and spiteful treatment she has been receiving at the hands of my family, since my departure. I am also informed that you have refused to pay over to her any of the money I left with you expressly for this purpose. Must you, too, take this opportunity during
-General Bonaparte?
-Come back in an hour.
-Excuse me, General Bonaparte, but I believe this is an extremely urgent matter, requiring your immediate attention.
-This dispatch has just arrived from Aboukir, marked highest priority, for General Bonaparte's eyes only.
-I believe you are acquainted with my brother, Joseph Bonaparte, and my aide, Major Junot.
-Captain Charles, I believe you are one of General Le Clerc's aides-de- camp.
-Yes, sir, I am.
-Was it he who assigned you to command the escort which accompanied Madame Bonaparte's coach?
-Was the trip normal in every respect?
-Yes, sir.
-Did any difficulties of any kind arise during the trip?
-Then, you have my thanks, Captain Charles, for safely escorting Madame Bonaparte to Milan, and you may consider your assignment completed.
-Thank you, sir.
-You will return to Paris tomorrow and you will carry my compliments and thanks to General Le Clerc for assigning such an excellent officer to carry out a responsibility which has meant so much to myself and to Madame Bonaparte.
-Thank you, sir. I will do that.
-Yes, sir?
-A glass of champagne, please.
-Yes, sir. I hope you will excuse me for asking, General Bonaparte, but are you Corsican?
-Yes, I am.
-I thought so, I noticed your name when you were announced. I'm Corsican too -- my name is Arena.
-Oh -- where do you come from?
-Bastia -- and you?
-Ajaccio.
-I haven't been there for three years.
-I haven't been back for ten years. Is your family still there?
-No, they're living in Nice now.
-That's a nice city. This is your first time here, isn't it?
-Yes, as a matter of fact, it is.
-You don't know many of Citizen Barras' friends, do you?
-Ah-hh, no.
-Just a minute, General. Listen, don't let them fool you with all their grand la-de-da. They've all made their money from the war -- mostly from crooked war contracts. They say Citizen Barras has put away millions.
-Hello there, Picart.
-Ah, Didier -- you are alive.
-Why are you carrying the dog?
-His paws are frozen and he cannot walk.
-When you eat him, may I have some?
-My God...! What time is it?
-Four o'clock.
-When did it start?
-The first reports came in at about ten.
-Why didn't you wake me then?
-At first, it hardly seemed more than a routine fire.
-How did it spread so quickly?
-It is the work of incendiaries.
-I told Mortier that he would answer with his life for any looting.
-Our troops have no part in this. It has been started by the Russians!
-Impossible, I don't believe it.
-We have already captured a dozen incendiaries, convicts, released just two days ago. They said they were acting under orders of the secret police.
-But to start a fire like this in five hours -- how is it possible? It would take a carefully organized plan, tons of combustibles and hundreds of people.
-From what we can tell, there are hundreds of agents, all over the city. The combustibles seem to have been carefully placed beforehand, and all the fire-engines have been removed from the city.
-Good heavens, Ambassador -- what has happened?
-Ah, good evening, my dear Duroc. I'm afraid I've been out hunting and I have had a rather bad fall.
-Indeed you have, Ambassador. Have you sent for a doctor?
-Yes, I have, and I hope you will forgive me, Duroc, but unless your visit is extremely urgent, I shall have to ask you to excuse me until tomorrow.
-I beg your indulgence, Ambassador, but it is.
-The Emperor has decided to marry your Archduchess, Marie-Louise.
-What is that?
-Earlier this afternoon, the Emperor refused the hand of the Grand Duchess Anna, of Russia, and, as I'm sure you can appreciate, he is quite able to change his mind again. For the Emperor, to choose a wife, is only a matter of minutes.
-But this is not a matter which can be settled tonight, surely?
-No one can say how the Emperor's thoughts work, Ambassador, and unless we move quickly, he might change his mind again.
-But, my dear Duroc, how can I act without guidance from Vienna? I haven't the slightest idea of how the Emperor Francis might feel about this.
-Good morning, Citizen de Beauharnais.
-Good morning, sir. Are you General Bonaparte?
-I am, Citizen. Is your mother Madame Josephine de Beauharnais?
-Yes, sir. Are you acquainted with her?
-I have met her. What is your business with me?
-I believe you issued an order that all citizens of Paris must hand over any weapons that they have in their possession.
-That is correct.
-This morning, a Lieutenant and three soldiers came to our house and asked if we had weapons. I explained we had only my late father's sword, which, in fact, was not a weapon but only a keepsake of memory.
-A sword is a weapon whatever else you might wish to use it for.
-I told the Lieutenant my late father was General Alexander de Beauharnais, and asked if there was any consideration that might be given to his memory.
-And he sent you to me?
-He said no one had the authority to rescind the order except you.
-Does your mother know you have come?
-No, sir.
-Well, then, you have a lot of initiative, my young friend.
-My father's sword means more to me than any other possession I have.
-Ah, my dear Francis, what a genuine pleasure it is to meet you at last.
-I fear our meeting is long overdue... Napoleon.
-I'm sorry that I am unable to offer you better hospitality, but this is the only place I have inhabited for the past month.
-You have made such excellent use of it; I should think you will hate to leave it.
-Shall we move closer to the fire?
-Will Alexander be joining us soon?
-I very much doubt that he will.
-Oh...?
-I'm afraid he has been rather upset by the outcome of the battle.
-But he asked me to say... on his behalf... that your achievements have increased his... admiration for you, and that he believes... your success is predestined by heaven... and that his army...
-My dear Francis, you do seem extremely uncomfortable.
-I'm afraid I am, just a bit.
-Would you like some brandy?
-Thank you.
-Thank you, Napoleon.
-No -- not as a rule.
-Good evening, sir.
-The weather is terrible, isn't it, sir?
-Yes, it is. It must be one of the worst nights we have had this winter.
-You must be chilled to the bone, standing out of doors like this.
-Yes, I am, sir.
-Then what brings you out on such a night?
-Well, one must do something to live, you know -- and I have an elderly mother who depends on me.
-Oh, I see... That must be a great burden.
-One must take life as it comes -- do you live in Lyon, sir?
-No, I'm only here on leave. My regiment is at Valence.
-Are you staying with a friend, sir?
-No... I have a... room... at the Hotel de Perrin.
-Is it a nice warm room, sir?
-Well, it must be a good deal warmer than it is here on the street.
-Would you like to take me there, so that we can get warm, sir?
-Uh-hh... yes, of course -- if you would like to go... there... but... I have very little money.
-Br-rrr, these sheets are like ice.
-What's your name?
-Lisette.
-Only Lisette?
-Lisette La Croix.
-That's a very nice name. Where are you from?
-Please, sir, come into bed or I shall die of a chill.
-I would like both of you to read this. Please read it aloud.
-Naturally, one does not take much stock in such a piece of filth but, on the other hand, it is not the sort of thing one can simply ignore. What do you think, Joseph?
-No...
-No... nothing at all.
-Not even the slightest hint of something?
-No -- Captain Charles commanded the cavalry escort, and rode outside the carriage. In the evenings, he always ate at another table. They hardly ever spoke to each other.
-You would tell me, Joseph, wouldn't you?
-Yes, of course, I would. You know I am not one of your wife's greatest admirers, but I certainly know nothing about this.
-The important thing is to find the right lawyer. One who will not protract the thing indefinitely, in the courts.
-You know I am only too happy to be of help to you, but surely this isn't the ideal moment to involve yourself in such matters.
-I know of no better time.
-You can't be serious. It would not be good to become another husband out of a Moliere farce.
-The comedy of my marriage is sufficiently well known already.
-You must not act impetuously.
-It is time to clarify the situation. Everything is over between us.
-But you can do the same thing in six months. The next few weeks may be the most important ones in your life.
-Are you sure that you are not still in love with her?
-Are you trying to insult me?
-Of course not, but such violence of feeling makes me wonder.
-Well, you shall see.
-When is she supposed to return?
-I have no idea. Her maid said she left two days ago, to meet me -- I can imagine where she is. But when she finally does come home, she will find her things in the street and my door locked.
-She will probably appear with a dozen excuses and you will forgive her anyway.
-Will you use the troops?
-Ah, my dear Madame de Montesquiou, you have no idea what happiness it brings me to see this child, at last. I was told the very idea of such a visit would too much distress the Empress.
-I am delighted to be of service to you again, Your Highness. And I can tell you, my instructions came directly from the Emperor, with a caution to be discreet.
-Oh... I see. I understand. How is... the Emperor?
-I rarely see him, Your Highness, but I believe he is in excellent health, and he is very happy with the child.
-Ah, that is good.
-And, you seem in excellent health, Your Highness.
-Ah, how nice to meet you, General Bonaparte. One has read so much about you lately. Please sit down.
-Thank you, Madame de Beauharnais. You probably don't recall but we met briefly a few months ago, at a party at Paul's house.
-Oh... yes, of course! Have you met my daughter, Hortense?
-Yes, we introduced ourselves at the door.
-May I offer you a drink?
-Oh, I don't want to put you to any inconvenience.
-Oh, it's not the slightest inconvenience, General Bonaparte. It is an honor to have you here.
-You are very kind, Madame de Beauharnais. Do you have some sherry, perhaps?
-I hope you will forgive me for barging in on you like this, Madame de Beauharnais. I called to bring this to your son, but I understand from your charming daughter that he is out for the afternoon.
-Yes, I'm afraid he is. I believe he is riding. I know he'll be heartbroken to have missed you.
-Oh... how very nice of you to bring that for Eugene... Did General de Beauharnais give it to you?
-No, I'm afraid I never had the pleasure of meeting the General. This sword was taken several days ago from your son by some of my soldiers.
-Were you in love with him?
-I thought I was. I was confused.
-And now?
-Now, I know that I shall die if you leave me.
-Do you expect me to believe that?
-And you, are you in love with any one else?
-No.
-But you have had mistresses while you were away.
-Of course.
-Were you in love with any of them?
-No.
-Were they pretty?
-Yes.
-Were any of them prettier than I am?
-One had better legs.
-Were any of them married?
-Yes. They were the easiest. I made love to one of them within ten minutes of our first meeting.
-She must have been in love with you.
-Promise me you will never leave me.
-I cannot promise you that.
-Promise me.
-I will never forgive you.
-I don't care, but promise you will never leave me.
-I don't understand you.
-Promise.
-Promises mean nothing.
-Perhaps -- but tell me you promise, anyway.
-All right -- I promise.
-Yes -- what is it?
-Open the door. It's me.
-Go away -- I'm busy.
-I know what you're doing in there.
-Don't be ridiculous and go away -- I'm busy working.
-Where is Madame Trillaud?
-How should I know. Ask Roquier -- he's cleaning her dress.
-What are you doing in there?
-Oh -- now, this is absolutely ridiculous! If you don't want to be humiliated in front of your guests, you will return to the table at once.
-Will you be joining us, soon?
-I will be there in five minutes. Go back to your guests.
-Five minutes.
-Yes!!
-Five minutes.
-Separate bedrooms?
-Yes.
-But you will not... be safe...
-Not be safe? What on earth are you talking about?
-Who is it?
-I didn't mean the things that I said... I was angry and I said more than I meant to.
-Oh -- I didn't tell you... I've seen Dr. Corvisart, and he was very reassuring and encouraging. He has had excellent results with the waters of Plombiers, and he thinks it would be a good idea for me to spend a few weeks there. Apparently, he sent Madame Le Floch there last year, and she gave birth to twins.
-No, one cannot simply ignore it.
-I believe you sent for me.
-God damn it, Junot, wouldn't you think I have enough things on my mind not to waste time on a letter like this to Joseph?
-There's probably some explanation.
-Well, anyway, sorry to call you away from the festivities, but where is the breakdown on serviceable vehicles? I asked for it yesterday.
-I gave it to Berthier... this afternoon.
-Why did you give it to him?
-I thought he would be seeing you before I would, and would give it to you.
-Well, he didn't give it to me, and when I ask you to do something for me, return the work to me, not to Berthier.
-I'm sorry, I thought he would give it to you.
-I must have the breakdown now. Where is Berthier?
-He's downstairs -- somewhere.
-Yes... but, first, can I say something to you, as a friend?
-Certainly.
-I know that I shouldn't butt into things... that are really no concern of mine... but you shouldn't write a letter like that to Joseph.
-Why not?
-Well, maybe he's only looking out for your best interests.
-What are you talking about?
-Nothing. That's all I can say.
-That's all you can say? What are you talking about?
-That's all I can say.
-Now, just a minute. You have just very clearly implied that there is a reason why Joseph should not give my wife the money which I left for her. I can't possibly allow a remark like that to go without explanation.
-Look, Junot, you aren't going to leave this room until you explain yourself.
-There are some things... better left unsaid.
-What the hell is the matter with you?
-I didn't want to hurt you... All I wanted to do was to keep from hurting you. I swear I didn't want to hurt you.
-Well, whatever the hell you wanted to do, you are going to tell me everything right now. Do you understand?!
-You know that... letter you showed me in Milan -- the one about Hippolyte Charles?
-Yes.
-I wrote it.
-What?
-Yes, I wrote it.
-You wrote it.
-I couldn't face telling you.
-You couldn't face telling me what?
-About Hippolyte Charles.
-What was there to tell?
-My God, what do you think?
-Do you know what you're saying?
-God help me -- yes.
-How do you know?
-I know.
-I was in her maid's room at an inn we stopped at for the night, outside of Dijon. It was an adjoining room to Madame Bonaparte's.
-You could hear them?
-You mean you heard them making love?
-How did you know it was Captain Charles?
-I questioned the maid, and she admitted Charles had been Madame Bonaparte's lover for several months.
-Can you give me a drink, please?
-I wanted to kill him but Joseph convinced me it would be a mistake. He said people would say you hadn't the courage to deal with it yourself.
-And was it so widely known that Joseph had reason for such concern?
-Good day, monsieur. Do you think it is possible for you to tell your driver to stop ringing that bell?
-My regrets, my dear Major, but I believe you have been blocking the road.
-Are you trying to provoke me, monsieur?
-No, Major, I merely wish to state that your vehicle appears to be somewhat slower and heavier than mine, and point out that, if you would be kind enough to pull over to one side of the road, I could pass you and be on my way.
-May I inform you, monsieur, that I am Major Fidon, official courier to the court of the Emperor Napoleon, on my way to our Embassy at St. Petersburg and, in accordance with the rules of the road, no one may overtake or pass me.
-Before you quote the rules of the road to me, Major, may I point out to you that you are not in France now, but that you are a guest in Russia.
-If I have given you any cause to be insulted, monsieur, may I offer you immediate satisfaction?
-Good evening, ladies. You must forgive me, my dearest wife, but I simply could not wait to see you.
-Oh, then you are...
-And, where did you see my portrait?
-And, you, my dear wife, do you find that I resemble my portraits?
-Do you like music?
-Yes, I do -- very much.
-Will I be able to play the harp? It is an instrument of which I am very fond.
-Of course, my dear.
-You are so good to me. Will you also allow me to have a botanical garden?
-You may have anything you wish, my sweet and lovely Marie-Louise.
-I am told that Fontainebleau has many lovely views. I know nothing more interesting than a lovely countryside.
-I am sure you will enjoy the French countryside.
-I hope you have patience with me. I do not know how to dance the quadrille but, if you desire it, I will learn.
-I only desire what gives you pleasure, my dearest.
-Will it be possible to have my dog, Bijou, sent here? I was not allowed to bring her and I love her so much.
-Of course, my dear -- how cruel to have been separated from her. And how strange it must be for you to be here, away from your family and everything you know.
-Oh, no, I am very happy. But you must have patience with me... I know nothing at all of what a wife must know. And I know nothing about men. My papa has never allowed me even to have a pet of the male gender.
-Did the Emperor or Empress give you any... instructions of any kind... before you left?
-Papa said only to comply with any request you might make of me.
-Do you know the joke about the two Swiss boys who go to a bordello for the first time?
-No.
-Article 46, calls for the virtual dismemberment of Prussia, reducing her population by half and her army to a token force.
-Does she deserve anything better?
-Those are extremely harsh terms.
-I did not ask her to go to war against me.
-Has Alexander agreed to this?
-Now, the section headed "Secret Clauses of the Treaty" -- Article 14b, provides for Alexander to serve as mediator between France and England and, if he fails to achieve a preliminary agreement within four months, it further provides that Russia is to go to war against England, and close her ports to English trade.
-That is correct.
-Do you think Alexander has any chance to succeed as a mediator?
-I very seriously doubt it. I don't think there is any possibility of making peace with England so long as she sees herself safe from invasion. That is why we must increase the pressure on her economy. With Russia in the Continental Blockade, England must collapse. More than 40% of her trade is with the Continent and Russia.
-England can make no move against you on the Continent without Austria. A reliable treaty with Austria would end her hopes in that regard.
-We have a treaty with Austria.
-Not one I should like to rely on. Francis is still smarting under the terms he had to accept after Austerlitz, and he is under great pressure to recover his losses.
-My dear Talleyrand, none of the Kings of Europe bear any friendship for France. It is easy for you to talk of reliable treaties. The only treaties you have been able to negotiate are the ones I have won on the battlefield.
-What I am talking about is moderation.
-What you are talking about is a gamble on moderation -- when I gamble, I prefer to gamble on force.
-And where do you place Alexander?
-Alexander and I are friends. We have reached an understanding.
-I hope that understanding is worth as much as you think it is, sire. My impression of Alexander is that he is moody and impressionable, capable of acting on sudden impulses which then lead to sudden embarrassments. He is an unpredictable mixture of idealism and vanity. You have dazzled him, and you have performed a diplomatic miracle, but Alexander is weak and he is
-That is a matter of opinion.
-Sire, you have only enemies in the court of St. Petersburg, and I fear outside your influence, Alexander will have another look at what he has agreed to.
-Good day to our brothers-in-arms. Have you come to join us?
-I am looking for Monsieur George Varlac who resides in the Rue de Frelicot. Do you know him, monsieur?
-A revolution is not a polite discussion in a parlor, Citizen Lieutenant. One does not call it murder to kill such vermin.
-You may save your philosophy for the magistrate, Monsieur Varlac. I am only a simple officer in the army, and to me what you have done is called murder, and his always been called murder by honest men.
-Then do you propose to arrest all of us, Citizen Lieutenant? For I was not there alone.
-Citizen Lieutenant, my advice is to leave this town at once with your men. We do not wish to do harm to our brothers in uniform.
-I suggest that you leave with your men while you can.
-What did you say his name was?
-Eugene de Beauharnais.
-Is he alone?
-Yes, sir.
-Come in.
-Major Lavallette to see you, General.
-Come in.
-A message from Citizen Fouche.
-Come in.
-Citizen Bourrienne to see you, sir.
-Napoleon was born at Ajaccio in Corsica on August 15th, 1769. He had not been a healthy baby and his mother, Letizia, lavished him with care and devotion. In middle age, he would write about her from St. Helena.
-His moods at this time were complex and varied.
-He made friends with a family called Columbier, and would later write of his first flirtation with their daughter, Caroline.
-Napoleon would soon arouse the resentment of the Directory in Paris, exceeding his authority, making political decisions and treaties like a Roman Conqueror, enlarging his role to ruler of Italy. Only his tremendous success and ever increasing popularity prevented the Directory from replacing him.
-On December 2, 1804, Napoleon was made Emperor of France. He would later say: "I found the crown lying in the gutter and I picked it up."
-Led by the warlike Queen Louisa, and her fashion-minded husband, King Frederich Wilhelm, the Prussians still believed themselves cast in the mold of Frederick the Great, and more than a match for Napoleon. The King had a special collection of 60 splendid uniforms, and was personally involved in the design of all the Prussian army uniforms.
-I know Alexander. His imagination must be struck by some great, bold, powerful stroke, and he will come back to me, just as he did at Friedland.
-On January 1st, 1814, France itself was invaded. Now, with a small army of raw recruits, Napoleon would have to face the powerful combination of England, Russia, Prussia and Austria, operating against him together, for the first time. The balance of numbers had tilted irretrievably against him.
-Okay, I know what I want this time.
-Anything you need.
-Yo' cousin, Craig. Hook us up.
-That's it?
-Just tell him to come over here and talk to me.
-And I can go free?
-Hey, Debo, heard you running from a ass- whippin'?
-Naw, it ain't like that.
-If you see that boy again, bite off his ear off like Mike Tyson.
-Alright, I'll remember that.
-Send Betty my love. Boy you looking good. I'mma take these in the house for you, man... and when you finish with this cat, come inside. I got something to show you.
-Man, that girl's gonna kill me one day. Viagra ain't working. My back keep going out... she don't never get enough. But check this out. I got to lay some ground rules. Your my family and I love you. You're welcome to anything you want in my home. But I don't wanna catch you in the refrigerator or in my Suga bowl... you feel
-Yeah.
-Well, let me in.
-Yeah, you gotta have a little money to live out here, Craig. I never thought I'd be the kinda nigga to move to the suburbs. But as soon as I got my check, I was gone. Paid 230 thousand dollars cash on this house.
-You paid cash?
-It's cool, but where's the water?
-Don't need water. We didn't have no pool in the projects...so none of us swim.
-Y'all never use it?
-That's okay, Unc. I can't swim, either.
-I know you smoke weed, right?
-Why you say that?
-Negro, what the hell you doing to my woman?
-I don't know!
-I don't know, I think I passed out or something. I don't remember.
-No. Thought he was with you.
-Me, too. You think they're in there?
-That's a nice piece of heat right there.
-Stretch it out.
-Who are you?
-We didn't come here for Day-Day.
-Yes you did.
-Where's that boy that told me Day-Day was here?
-I don't know... I think he went out the back.
-Where you going?
-No I'm not.
-Great moves, Day-Day.
-What you mean talk to her?
-You know what he mean, dude.
-For sure. That's how I like 'em.
-Yeah it is...the best day before the weekend.
-What's the green stuff poking out?
-That's cron-don, sir. My mom hates for me to smoke, so she made me bud-brownies. Wanna bite?
-Naw, I already ate.
-Sorry, bro, reflexes. How did you do that?
-Me neither.
-It's about to work, just come on.
-Dude, dogs hate me. I don't know why. Me and K-9's just don't get along.
-Well get along with this one. Go ahead of us. Don't get seen and don't let that mutt out of your sight.
-Fuck, what's his name?
-I ain't trying to rob you...
-Shut up! Fo' I pump this Glock in yo' ass! What did you do wit Day-Day and Roach?
-Man, Day-Day is my people!
-I said shut up! Now who sent you?
-Nobody!
-Shut up. I been trying to tell yo' ass that... Day-Day is my cousin. They're right there in the back.
-What's crackin'?
-You know it's been over a year since we kicked it last? Up at the family reunion.
-Yep. I forgot about him cussin' out everybody. Damn that was fun.
-I know, we had a good time. But ever since you guys moved out here, it seems like we've lost touch.
-Who is that?
-Joker, he just got out of the pen. Li'l Joker, he just got out of Youth Authority. And Baby Joker, he just got out of Juvenile Hall.
-They ever let you hit the switches on that Cadillac?
-This you?
-Yeah, that's me. Just a little somethin' somethin' I picked up.
-Must be nice. I wish we won the lottery. Come up on a million dollars like ya'll.
-Man, after taxes, lawyer fees, and paying off my daddy's bad credit, we didn't end up with a million. We bought this house and I spent the rest on this. It's the bomb, huh?
-Man, this a cool house.
-Go on and make yourself at home. I'mma go get dressed for work.
-Oh, yeah, where you work at?
-Pinky's Records and Disc in the shopping center. I'mma talk to my boss and see if he got a little position for you. 'Cause you been unemployed for a long time now, Craig.
-I can't see! I can't see! Daddy!
-She pepper-sprayed me, man! She pepper- sprayed me!
-You straight?
-Just a little.
-I can't taste nothing.
-What's the matter with your girlfriend?
-Man, it's a long story. I met D'Wana three months ago. She had a little pudge in her stomach but I didn't pay it no attention. Come to find out, she six months pregnant. Saying I'm the daddy!
-What?
-Yeah, I broke up with her two Fridays ago and she's been harassing me ever since. She don't care about the restraining order or nothing.
-Restraining order? Where the hell you meet this girl?
-I went back to Watts to sell my old car and met her on the way. Worst day of my life.
-Damn, you got a stalker.
-That ain't the worst part. Her little sister, Baby D. She's the one that gets real physical. But I got a restraining order on her, too.
-You got a restraining order on a little girl named Baby D?
-Who is that?
-That's the sister.
-Yo know what? I'm starting to like Rancho Cucamonga.
-I know what 'cha thinking. I thought the same thing. But it can't happen.
-Why?
-So.
-What you mean, so?
-I walked.
-You walked?
-You know what this is?
-How can they do this?
-It says we owe $3,900...by tomorrow.
-$247.
-What's the matter?
-I ain't trying to get in it.
-You better stop running from that girl.
-Thanks a lot, Craig.
-I know we cousins and all, but don't try an' hook me up with the big little sisters.
-I didn't think you smoked bud that much.
-You better open up a window or something before the smell gets out.
-Blow.
-It works.
-This vacuum don't work. Where's the restroom?
-Craig, what the hell are you doing?
-What we gonna do?
-Alright, Roach, see you around.
-You see that?
-Yeah, air.
-Naw. I bet'cha it's something better than air.
-How you know? It could be anything.
-Man, I don't think I can do this, Craig. I got the B-G's.
-What's the B-G's?
-You make it sound so easy.
-You go first.
-Naw, you go first.
-You go first.
-No.
-Day-Day, if you don't hop that fence I'mma throw you over.
-I hope to God that dog is happy.
-Wait.
-What you see?
-That pump was full of money. I saw where they put it. Stay right here, I'mma climb in and go get it.
-Wait here? So Cheeco can bite my ass off? Tell me where it is I'll do it.
-You're welcome, Unc.
-You sure you don't wanna stay?
-Naw, I'm got live ghetto fabulous. make sure you get that car fixed.
-I will. When can I come visit?
-Karla.
-Craig and Karla, damn that sound pretty good together. Where you going?
-To the Cucamonga shopping center.
-Oh yeah, why you walking?
-You want us to give you a ride?
-I don't know.
-Hello, remember me?
-Hell yeah, I remember you.
-I'm sorry for what my brother did this morning. They're assholes.
-It's cool. You ain't got to apologize for your brothers. They're big boys.
-Most definitely.
-Huh?
-What are you doing here?
-I hope you don't think I'm crazy, but I just had to come in here and show you I ain't scared of yo' punk ass brothers...and you wouldn't have be scared of 'em neither if you had a man like me in yo' life.
-What?? So you snuck in my room to tell me that?
-You did all this for me?
-Most of it. I just hate to see you in this situation.
-Thanks for noticing. It used ta be peaceful before they got out. Took over the house and caused my mother's nervous breakdown.
-Why didn't she put'em out?
-Easier said than done. We saved up to get away from them, but they followed us.
-I did. Is that door locked?
-It's locked.
-I got my cousin Day-Day waiting for me.
-Next time, page me first.
-You alright?
-Delivery!
-Delivery!
-I said hold on!
-Can I help you?
-Nice house. Didn't expect you to answer. You must be one of those entertainers. What team you play for?
-I don't play for no team.
-Come on, jerky, you can tell me. Got a white wife, huh? Blonde bombshell type. Remember what happen to O.J... what team do you play for? You're not related to the Jacksons, are you?
-Naw, I play for the Chocamunga Cracker Killers. You want tickets?
-What is it?
-I'll be out in about 35-40 minutes!
-Here I come!
-What's the matter?
-That nigga worst than them damn pit bulldogs or something! That's why moving wit'cha Uncle Elroy and Cousin Day-Day is the best thing for you right now.
-Ya'll making me look like a punk.
-Must be your upper lip, 'cause I don't smell nothing.
-I do.
-What it smell like?
-I gotta get'em fixed. They don't roll down.
-All damn.
-Nice neighborhood, huh?
-It's alright.
-18-years of chasing dogs; and my lazy ass brother hits the lotto his first time playing. I still can't figure that one out.
-You coming in?
-No, I'mma go on to work. I don't wanna hear Elroy's mouth. Now listen to me, Craig. It's gonna be different living over here. Don't let your uncle and your cousin get you into no shit. Understand?
-Craig, remember what I told you.
-Hold up, Elroy, that's my boy. Craig, what the hell wrong with you? Where you been?
-You see that?
-Two bullets? Yo' ass ain't changed. Back in the day, all I had was a stick.
-Nigga, you got knock the fuck out.
-You too.
-Smokin' what?
-My name is Miss Ho Kym. Day-Day just trying to be a smart ass. Nice to meet you, Craig. Are you 'bout it, 'bout it?
-Excuse me?
-Yeah, I'm 'bout it.
-What kind of activity?
-See you later, Day-Day. Come by after work, I got the John Blaze shit for you.
-Nice to meet you?
-Why for? Them boys are real player haters.
-I can't get jiggy with this shit. Where is the damn manager?
-No, give me my damn money back. Right now, and I don't have no damn receipt neither.
-Okay, sir...but where's the cover?
-I can't give you your damn money back on this.
-Bullshit! I'll go postal in this mothafucka!
-Look, Roach, I know you ain't never worked in a record shop before and you're a little excited. But if Pinky catches you doing that X-Games shit off his counter top, we both getting fired. You feel me?
-Did you see that? That was a W.W.F. hit right there, huh, Day-Day?
-Craig, this Roach. Roach, this is my cousin, Craig.
-What it say?
-What is it?
-That the big one, huh?
-What was that?
-Are they still out there?
-Today ain't my day.
-I do.
-Damn nigga, don't Jack the joint. I didn't even pass it.
-Roach, what are you doing?
-I gotta think of a plan to get this money before tomorrow.
-I don't know. I hope Craig got a good idea. We gotta ask him when he comes out. Let's go and clean up before Pinky gets here.
-Maybe you can ask him to loan you the money.
-Yoooo, that's it. You ain't as dumb as I think you are, Roach.
-Who the fuck is that, Day-Day?
-Let it go, Roach, trust me.
-I'm not letting nothing go. They killed my board.
-I say we go over there and kick their asses. I can take the little one.
-Try an' hold it, man. Squeeze your ass cheeks together.
-Roach...Roach, come on.
-Where's Craig?
-He's inside the house?
-Why did he go in the house?
-You wanna knock?
-'Scuse me, partner, but that's a ghetto knock.
-Look, man, this is a big misunderstanding. All we wanted to do is borrow some sugar.
-And some rolling papers.
-Hey.
-What?! What that mean?
-Money? Man, we came over here from some sugar and rolling papers. We was going to get high, and I was going to show this white boy how to make Kool-Aid. That's all.
-Get 'em, Craig!
-Finally you got a bitch, huh, Roach?
-Hey, guys, I'm outta here.
-Thanks for the help.
-Hey, man, the pleasure's all mine. Thanks for the dog, and the money. Maybe my dad won't kick my ass tonight.
-Call me.
-Wet your eyes, boy. Stay in there for about 20 minutes.
-20 minutes?
-Ah damn. Damn.
-I got fired too.
-When my back gets better I'mma beat the black off you, Day-Day.
-I know. I'm sorry.
-Where's Craig?
-What the fuck you looking at?
-Uh...um...I mean uh, can we borrow a cup of sugar?
-What?! This look like a 7-11 or something? Get the fuck outta here!
-Shut up! Both of you right now!
-Shhhh! Roach, shut the fuck up.
-Why would he take it? He don't even know you.
-Tape his mouth shut.
-Where did Craig move to?
-What you say?
-He moved out to Rancho Cucamonga with his cousin Day-Day.
-Rancho Cucamonga?
-Get on.
-Man, we can't ride to Rancho Cucamonga on that.
-Here's the plan. You gonna call over there and say you have a very urgent message for Mr. William Jones.
-What urgent message?
-If you shut up I'll tell you. The urgent message is...Drop everything! Craig is in trouble. Come quick, don't call.
-Just do it.
-William.
-You too big.
-Debo! Debo!
-What?
-I can't feel my legs no more.
-Me neither. How far is Rancho Cucamonga?
-Ezal! Ezal!
-Huh?
-We must be here 'cause we stopped.
-Hey, how you get out of here.
-I thought you were taking me to see Mama?
-I'll take you later.
-When? After you get all drunk and loaded?
-Hey, what's going on?
-Nothing. What you want?
-Are you going to take me to see Mom?
-Take your car.
-'Take your car?'
-Make sure you look after my son out here. Don't get him involved with none of your bullshit, Roy.
-I got your message. Where's Craig?
-I don't know, I didn't leave you no damn message!
-You didn't call the Sandwich Joint with a urgent message?
-Hell naw, Willie. Them fleas and tics must be sucking on yo' brain!
-Somebody left me a message. Well where's Craig and Day-Day?
-You come way out here to get into more trouble. You could've stayed at home.
-Willie, shut up. Yo' old ass need to get in a little bit o' trouble sometimes.
-What about that ugly dog?
-Need to lose some weight.
-Damn, big bro. You swung that like Sammy Sosa.
-My back.
-What's the matter?
-Well, we better hit the road, too. Craig, get your stuff.
-Craig, I want you to meet my old lady, Suga. Suga, this is Craig.
-Okay, okay, that's enough. Go put on some damn clothes.
-Elroy.
-Suga. Go ahead and get us something to smoke on.
-Huh?
-What you doing to my nephew?
-Mr. Nasty time?
-Mr. Nasty time. But take it easy on me, girl.
-Elroy, what happen?
-I threw my back, again.
-Aw, no lovin' tonight?
-Naw, baby, no lovin' tonight.
-Come on, baby, let's go in the house.
-Lousy. And I have siesta hair. I'm thinking of canceling the speech.
-During a campaign every speech is important. This is free media exposure. Primetime news coverage that we couldn't buy.
-What's he doing here?
-Don't remind me.
-What happened here?
-Truth is, besides the headache I've come down with a little lower intestinal havoc. Make my apologies.
-All right, I'll do it.
-That's my girl.
-Aw, gee. I sent her on an errand.
-You sent my assistant on an errand.
-Where to, sir?
-Amtrack?
-What?
-You just come in on Amtrack?
-Uh, yes..
-Business or pleasure?
-Where'd you come from?
-San Diego.
-Oh, San Diego? I've thought about moving to San Diego. It's hard to make a living in this town. These short hops. Can't make a dime on 'em. To LAX, Pasadena, then I can make a buck. These little hops cost me money.
-Sorry.
-'S okay. What do you think?
-Huh?
-Better in San Diego? More opportunity there? What?
-I really don't know. I don't live there. I was just visiting...a grave.
-Somebody close?
-What?
-Look...I've... I've got a problem. A big problem...
-I need your help.
-What can I do for you Mr....Watson?
-You were saying? Your daughter....?
-I...
-She ..ahh...wanted me to... be sure to get your autograph.
-Mrs. Grant, Governor...I won't hurt you.
-My security people are right next door.
-I appreciate that.
-One loud scream will bring them in here instantly. You won't get very far. Think it over.
-If I were here to hurt you I would have done it already.
-That's...a comfort to hear.
-I have a problem.
-Ah.
-I remember you...in the elevator.
-That's right.
-You were very nervous.
-How do you know that?
-You shot her?
-No.
-Who did?
-I don't know. The only thing I know about him is that he works for your husband.
-What?
-And your husband works for somebody else.
-I knew you wouldn't believe me.
-There's only one way to find out for sure. Try to cancel the last speech.
-I'd prefer we didn't refer to it as my last speech.
-It's the last chance they have for me to kill you. Try to get out of it. They won't let you. They can't. Try to change the schedule and you'll know I'm right. What have you got to lose? It comes down to who you trust, them or me? Test them.
-This? I've never even fired one.
-I...1 would like to...thank you, Mister Wat... Gene.
-I would also like to apologize.
-For what?
-For not believing you.
-Can we go now?
-Of course. I'll get a car to drive you.
-Good luck.
-Could I see some identification, sir?
-Is this about those kids? Look, I'm sorry about that. But they darn near...
-You're from Santa Maria, Mr. Watson?
-Come with us, sir.
-Hey! I'll take the girl. I'll take the girl!
-Daddy?
-Pay attention, Mr. Watson. Pay attention and your daughter won't be hurt.
-Yes, yes, I understand.
-This is for you. In it there is a picture of a woman and an itinerary. It is her itinerary. She is presently - are you listening, Mr. Watson?
-Yes, I'm listening.
-You're out of your mind.
-What's your point?
-I will do no such thing.
-Look at your watch. Look at it! At one-thirty your little girl is dead. Say it with me. At one-thirty my little girl is dead. Say it. Say it!
-At one thirty my little girl is dead.
-This says "invitation only".
-This'11 get you in anywhere. Red Elevator. Thirty-fifth floor.
-Where did you get these? Who are you?
-Are you 'fucking with me!?
-The gun...
-What about the gun?
-It wasn't loaded. I didn't put the bullets in it.
-You get another chance in ten minutes.
-What would you do in my place?
-What...?
-Tell me why I miss him.
-He's dead?
-That's right. He's dead. Tell me why.
-How should I...?
-You killed him.
-I killed you.
-I'm not stupid.. I know how this is supposed, to work.
-Do you now, Mr. Watson?
-I kill her - and you kill me.
-Keep your voice down.
-How am I supposed to get away?
-Come back.
-Again.
-One thirty. California Ballroom.
-...twenty-six minutes to get your shit together.
-Let me talk to her again.
-No.
-I want'to talk to her.
-I talk to her or you can forget about it.
-Don't you threaten me.
-What are you going to do about it, shoot me?
-You know what I'm gonna do.
-Is that something precious?
-My wife always said I had a problem trusting people.
-Well, you can trust Eleanor Samara Grant.
-Yes, you're right, I don't understand.
-All right, let's just...let's get security in on this.
-No! You can't! They're in on it.
-I don't know.
-You've got to trust me. I'm putting my daughter's life in your hands. She's only six. She's just a little girl. Please, please, trust me.
-The man following me has a walkie- talkie. If he sees I'm not here he'll call his partner. I do anything out of line and he'll send the word to kill my daughter.
-Are you sure?
-I've heard this speech a lot. Come on. We'll take care of him. We will.
-But...
-Trust me. You asked me for help. Let me help. Trust me.
-I think you better put that away.
-Who is this? Are you sure we can trust him?
-We have to hurry.
-I'm serious, honey. Don't get out of my sight, all right? I want you to stay right by me. Will you do that for me?
-Nods solemnly. GENE reaches the platform and gives out an exaggerated sigh.
-Haven't you ever seen anybody kiss like that?
-On TV.
-So, come on. You never saw us kiss like that?
-No way.
-Ready?
-Nods.
-Now, see, this is why you should always wear a helmet and knee pads. You never know when you're going to fall down and go boom. Right?
-Lynn!
-I can hear you good. Can you hear me?
-He has to say "over and out". Daddy, you have to say "over and out".
-Yes, sweetie, it's me.
-I'm tired. I want to.go now.
-Can we go now?
-Not just yet, baby. There's...there's something Daddy has to do.
-No, honey, not to be a hero. But I want you to remember something for me, all right?
-All right.
-Will you promise me that?
-I promise.
-All right. Kisses to you.
-No...kisses to you.
-No. Kisses to you.
-What do you do, if I may be so bold?
-I'm just an accountant.
-I have to do something.
-What's that? You have to speak up. I'm a little deaf in this ear. Between that and my wooden leg I'm a mess. Compliments of the United States Army Artillery Corps.
-I said I have to do something.
-I'll have you out of here in two shakes o'f a lamb's tail.
-You got anything smaller?
-Keep it.
-It's a twenty.
-Can I get out to Flower Street from here?
-You remember me?
-I remember. The big tipper.
-Something is going to happen. When it's over you'll know what I was talking about.
-Oh, man...
-Please. Something is going to happen...
-What? The end of the world? Man, don't give me your mad rap. I'm not a bartender. I don't want to hear it. I raise a family doing this bullshit. Do me a favor. Get your crazy white ass out of my chair.
-Please...
-Mister, what are you dragging me into?
-I'm not dragging you into anything. I don't expect...
-Cover your mouth.
-What?
-This gorilla's watching you, is that right?
-That's right.
-My daughter. They have her in a van across the street. They say they'll kill her if I don't do something for them.
-In twenty-five minutes in the California Ballroom.
-There was a woman. She was trying to help me. I watched him murder her.
-What are you supposed to do?
-I knew I should have packed up and gone home as soon as I got that twenty. What am I supposed to do about this situation?
-One of them is in on it. He might even be in charge. Her Security is in on it. There's only one person I know for sure isn't in on it.
-Who?
-The Governor. If I could just talk to her...
-Oh, Jesus ...
-Then why'd you drag me into it?
-It's about time I did. I was one of those guys, workaholics. I worked my ass off for them - my wife, my daughter. That's just what I thought I was supposed to do.
-Yeah, all right, listen...
-Why don't you tell me about the early years some other time?
-I'm sorry. You understand I don't mind dying if I could save my daughter. I mean that.
-Yeah, now listen. I can't mess with these shoes any more or it's gonna look funny. You go down get yourself something to drink. Make sure Godzilla there, follows you.
-Keep the change.
-Meet Irene.
-Hi.
-Irene is going to help.
-You said there was only one person you knew wasn't in on this thing.
-Yeah.
-You're going to go see her.
-What am I supposed to say to her?
-Well?
-I don't know.
-What are you going to do!?
-Thanks for the shine.
-Just giving you the gift of a clean windshield. Only cost you a dollar.
-I don't want my windshield cleaned.
-You just think you don't want your windshield cleaned.
-No, I know I don't want it cleaned. Get out of here.
-For the last time, I don't want it cleaned. Now get the hell out of here!
-It's already done. I've already done it. You have to pay me now.
-I don't have to pay you nothin'.
-You're going to deny me a lousy dollar after I've sweated like a pig giving you the gift of a clean windsheild?
-Fuckin' A.
-Hey!
-Oh, we'll have to do better than that.
-Goddamnit, you fuckin' bum, come here!
-Gimme a dollar.
-He brought a gun onto the pool deck.
-What?
-He got onto the pool deck with a gun. How did he get past her Security carrying a
-Well, is it real? Do we know anything about it?
-It looks real. I don't know anything about guns.
-You stole that.
-Hey, would you look at this crazy car? Everybody has their own radio. What do you think of that?
-Everybody does?
-This is what they call the jack. Hi, Jack!
-Laughs.
-He's going to help the police. Your daddy is going to be a hero.
-That's pretty good.
-I've done much better ones than this.
-You have, huh?
-Oh, yes. I'll show you. I have much more colors at home.
-Where are we going?
-I'm not a baby.
-You're a big girl, huh?
-Close your eyes.
-Why?
-I've got something for you.
-A surprise?
-You got this under control?
-Yeah.
-It's under control.
-Somebody mind telling me... ) What the hell happened!?
-Where is he? Did you lose him?
-Get moving.
-You' oughta learn to relax. I told you I've got it under control.
-That one.
-Skate-boarders I don't mind, even though they dress like fuckin' idiots, but when I see some pin-head on rollerblades, I get the definite urge to grease the grill of my car with 'em.
-Keep your eyes peeled.
-I'm looking for them.
-Where?
-Look at 'em. He'd do anything for her.-
-Foreigners! Fuck!
-You don't want to cause a ruckus, with the little girl and all.
-And what happens if I don't call you?
-God can't help her, Mr. Watson. Only you can help her.
-Only you.
-You talk to a cop, you even look at a cop too long and your daughter is dead. Do it.
-That's enough.
-Yeah.
-Come Back.
-Yeah.
-Put her on.
-What gives?
-Any trouble?
-No.
-He was a cool one, that Harper. Never broke.
-He never told about the money.
-No.
-What do you figure he done with it?
-Ben, I'm a Man of God.
-Tryin' to make me talk about it in my sleep!
-No, Ben.
-What'd I say? What? What? What? What?
-You was quotin' Scripture. You said -- you said, "And a little child shall lead them."
-You killed two men, Ben Harper.
-That's right, Preacher. I robbed that bank because I got tired of seein' children roamin' the woodlands without food, children roamin' the highways in this year of Depression; children sleepin' in old abandoned car bodies on junk-heaps; and I promised myself I'd never see the day when my youngins'd want.
-With that ten thousand dollars I could build a Tabernacle that'd make the Wheeling Island Tabernacle look like a chicken-house!
-Think of it, Ben! With that cursed, bloodied gold!
-How come you got that stickknife hid in your bed-blankets, Preacher?
-I come not with Peace but with a Sword.
-That Sword has served me through many an evil time, Ben Harper.
-What religion do you profess, Preacher?
-The religion the Almighty and me worked out betwixt us.
-I'll bet.
-Salvation is a last-minute business, boy.
-Keep talkin', Preacher.
-If you was to let that money serve the Lord's purposes, He might feel kindly turned towards you.
-Where's your Mom?
-Out shopping -- you're bleeding, Dad --
-Here they come.
-Listen to me son. You got to swear. Swear means promise. First swear you'll take care of little Pearl. Guard her with your life, boy. Then swear you won't never tell where that money's hid. Not even your Mom.
-Yes, Dad.
-You understand?
-You got common sense. She ain't. When you grow up that money'll be yours. Now swear. "I will guard Pearl with my life..."
-I will guard Pearl with my life...
-..."and I won't never tell about the money."
-She don't put in at Cresap's Landing no more, but she still blows as she passes. Come on in and have a cup of coffee.
-Ain't nobody stole Dad's skiff.
-Ain't seen you in a coon's age, Johnny.
-I been mindin' Pearl.
-'Twas down at Cresap's Landing, Along the River Shore, Birdie Steptoe was a Pilot in the good old days of yore. Now he sets in his old wharf-boat...
-When'll Dad's skiff be ready?
-Can't hear ye, boy. ...So the big boats heave a sigh, They blow for Uncle Birdie...
-When'll the skiff be ready?
-O, she's all right.
-How's your sister Pearl?
-Leavin', boy?
-Yep; gotta watch out for Pearl, Uncle Birdie.
-Here's your can o' hooks, Uncle Birdie.
-Won't he bust it, Uncle Birdie?
-Do you mind me cussin', boy?
-No.
-Can we eat him, Uncle Birdie?
-Uncle Birdie!
-Don't!
-Here's what you owe me. One, two, three, four, five... where's the other basket? Where's Ruby?
-She went.
-I'll light the lamp.
-And when little King Jesus' Ma and Pa heard about that plan, what do you reckon they went and done?
-Where's Ruby?
-AAA-MENN!
-You have all sinned!
-Yes! Yes!
-And the Lord told that man --
-Yes! Yes!
-The Lord said, Take that money and throw it in the River!
-Yes! Yes! Hallelujah!
-Throw that money in the River! In THE RIVER!
-See ye got two more peeps to your brood.
-Yeah, and ornerier than the rest.
-How's your own boy, Miz Cooper?
-Ain't heard from Ralph since last Christmas. Don't matter -- I've got a new crop. I'm a strong tree with branches for many birds. I'm good for something in this old world and I know it, too! We know that she will rout the Devil.
-Got a good buy in soap, Miz Cooper.
-It's a mighty good man would come out of his way to bring a word of cheer to a grieving widow!
-Plan on a longer visit next time.
-Icey, I'm worried about Willa.
-How do you mean?
-I'm figurin' how I can say it so's you won't get mad.
-Say what, Walt Spoon!
-There's somethin' wrong about it, Mother.
-About what!
-About Mr. Powell. All of it!
-Walt!
-Now, Mother, a body can't help their feelin's.
-May the Lord have mercy on you, Walt Spoon!
-What's wrong, Mother?
-Who?
-Mr. Powell! Willa has run away!
-Just went?
-Is he hit pretty bad?
-There's a little peach brandy -- maybe a sip?
-What can we do, Mother?
-Dear Walt and Icey: I bet you been worried and gave us up for lost. Took the kids down here with me for a visit to my sister Elsie's farm. Thot a little change of scenery would do us all a world of good after so much trubble and heartache. At least the kids will git a plenty of good home cooking. Your devoted
-Now ain't you relieved, Walt?
-Sure, but you was worried too, Mother; takin' off with never a word of goodbye. I even got to figurin' them gypsies busted in and done off with all three of 'em.
-You and your gypsies! They been gone a week!
-Lynch him! Lynch him!
-Bluebeard!
-Twenty-five wives!
-Draggin' the name of the Lord through the evil mud of his soul!
-He lied!
-Tricked us!
-He taken the Lord's name in vain and he trampled on His Holy Book!
-String that Bluebeard up to a pole!
-Willa Harper there is certain plain facts of life that adds up just like two plus two makes four and one of them is this: No woman is good enough to raise growin' youngsters alone! The Lord meant that job for two!
-Icey, I don't want a husband.
-That feller's just achin' to settle down with some nice woman and make a home for himself.
-It's awful soon after Ben's passing.
-If ever I saw a Sign from Heaven!
-John don't like him much.
-Pearl dotes on him.
-The boy worries me. It's silly, but it's like there was something still between him and his Dad.
-What he needs is a dose o' salts!
-There's something else.
-What?
-The money, Icey.
-I declare, you'll let that money haunt you to your grave, Willa Harper!
-I would love to be satisfied Harry Powell don't think I've got that money somewhere.
-You go set down by the River.
-Oh, Icey, I'm a sight!
-That boy's as stubborn and mulish as a sheep!
-I must wend my way down River on the Lord's work.
-My, that fudge smells yummy!
-Amen! Amen!
-My dear, dear friends! Whatever would I do without you!
-What could have possessed that girl!
-Satan.
-I burned it. I tore it up and burned it -- it stank so strong of hellfire.
-Amen.
-Ain't no sense in it, neither. I figured somethin' like this was brewin' when she went to bed last night.
-How?
-She tarried around the kitchen after I'd gone up, and when I went downstairs to see what was wrong...
-What!
-I tried to save her.
-I know you did, Reverend. Oh, I know how you tried!
-Just look at you! Dust and filth from top to toe!
-Want me to take 'em up and wash 'em good?
-Stand still, Miss Jenny!
-You, Pearl. You swear too.
-Who's them Blue Men yonder?
-Hing, hang, hung.
-You better not sing that song.
-Why?
-Tell me a story, John.
-Once upon a time there was a rich king... ...and he had him a son and a daughter and they all lived in a castle over in Africa. Well, one day this King got taken away by bad men and before he got took off he told his son to kill anyone that tried to steal their gold, and before long these bad men
-Just a man. Goodnight Pearl, sleep tight; and don't let the bedbugs bite.
-John...
-Now can I tell?
-Hm?
-You swore, Pearl!
-John! Don't!
-You'll get awful mad, John. I done a Sin!
-Pearl! You ain't --
-It's all here.
-Where's Mom?
-She's gone to Moundsville.
-To see Dad?
-Someone is after us, Pearl.
-I want to go upstairs. It's cold and spidery down here. I'm hungry.
-Now listen to me, Pearl. You and me is runnin' off tonight.
-Why?
-If we stay here somethin' awful will happen to us.
-Won't Daddy Powell take care of us?
-Where are we goin', John?
-I'm hungry, John.
-We'll steal somethin' to eat.
-John?
-Please be quiet -- Oh please, Pearl!
-John, where are we g --
-Get in the skiff, Pearl, goodness, goodness, hurry!
-Are we goin' home, John?
-Don't you hurt her!
-I'm butcherin' my hog myself, smokin' the hams, and cannin' the sausage. You-all have your work cut out!
-John, where's your folks?
-Dead.
-Where ye from?
-Up river.
-Story, honey? Why, what story?
-About them Kings. That the Queen found down on the sandbar in the skiff that time.
-Kings! Why, honey, there was only one.
-I mind you said there was two.
-John, when your Dad says 'come', you should mind him.
-I'll see to Pearl.
-This watch is the nicest watch I ever had.
-Why, he told me what fine little lambs you and your sister both was.
-Did you hear what I said, son?
-Huh?
-Married! We have decided to go to Sistersville tomorrow, and when we come back --
-You ain't my Dad! You won't never be my Dad!
--- and when we come back, we'll all be friends -- and share our fortunes together, John!
-Tell me what, boy?
-Nothin'!
-Are we keeping secrets from each other, little lad?
-What are you doing, boy?
-Getting Pearl to bed. I --
-What's taking you so long about it?
-It -- she --
-What's that you're playing with, boy?
-Pearl's junk. Mom gets mad when she plays out here and don't clean up afterward.
-Your mother says you tattled on me, boy. She says you told her that I asked you where that money was hid.
-Yes. Yes.
-She thinks that money's in the river, but you and me, we know better, don't we, boy?
-I don't know nothin'!
-Now! Where's it hid, honey?
-I'll tell.
-I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut --
-All right boy: where's the money?
-All right... Come along.
-What?
-You don't reckon I'd leave you.
-Don't you believe me?
-Now where, boy? Mind; no tricks. I can't abide liars.
-Now: Where?
-Pearl, shut up! Pearl, you swore!
-Nothin'.
-John's a feller who likes to keep secrets.
-Mm-hm.
-I'll tell you a secret.
-Yes?
-I knowed your Daddy. And do you know what your Daddy said to me? He said, "Tell my little girl Pearl there's to be no secrets between her and you."
-Yes?
-Now it's your turn.
-What secret shall I tell?
-How old are you?
-Sure, that's no secret.
-What's your name?
-You're just foolin'! My name's Pearl.
-You see? We can't have anything to do with John. You and me will go down to the parlor.
-Yes; John's bad.
-O no! Your turn!
-All right.
-John's bad.
-I'm hungry.
-Why, sure. And there's fried chicken and candied sweets and cornsticks and apple cobbler!
-Can I have my supper please?
-Naturally.
-Can I have milk too?
-About our secrets.
-No.
-Why, pray tell?
-Just tell me now; where's the money hid?
-But I swore. I promised John I wouldn't tell.
-You're Ruby, ain't you, my child?
-Can I have this?
-Surely. I'd like to talk to you, my dear.
-Will you buy me a choclit sody?
-Why, you're the purtiest girl I've seen in all my wandering. Didn't nobody never tell you that, Ruby?
-No. No one never did.
-What's their names?
-Pearl and John.
-Ahhh. And is there -- a doll?
-Only she won't never let me play with it.
-Mister Powell?
-Is there anythin' -- anythin'...?
-Didn't you have no inkling?
-Yes; from the first night.
-The first night?
-Our honeymoon.
-How's that?
-What do you figure to do?
-That's mighty brave of you, Reverend.
-I reckon it's been ordained this way, Brother Spoon.
-Didn't -- didn't she leave no word?
-She'll come draggin' her tail back home.
-She'll not be back. I reckon I'd be safe in promisin' you that.
-John: take that look offen your face and act nice.
-John, Mr. Powell has got something to tell you.
-Harry!
-I was praying.
-You thought, Willa, that the moment you walked in that door I'd start in to pawing you in the abominable way men are supposed to do on their wedding night. Ain't that right, now?
-No, Harry! I thought --
-Get up, Willa.
-Harry, what --
-Do you want more children, Willa?
-I -- no, I --
-It's the business of our marriage to mind those two you have now -- not to beget more.
-Are you through praying?
-You were listening outside the parlor window.
-It's not in the river, is it Harry?
-Answer me!
-Mornin', ladies.
-You're Miz Cooper, I take it.
-Shall I tell ye the little story of Right-Hand-Left-Hand -- the tale of Good and Evil?
-It was with this left hand that old brother Cain struck the blow that laid his brother low --
-Them kids is yours?
-My flesh and blood!
-She run off with a drummer one night. Durin' prayer-meetin'.
-Where's she at?
-Somewheres down river! Parkersburg, mebbe! -- Cincinnati! -- One of them Sodoms on the Ohio River.
-She took them kids with her?
-Heaven only knows what unholy sights and sounds those innocent little babes has heard in the dens of perdition where she dragged them!
-Gracious, gracious! You are a good woman, Miz Cooper!
-How you figgerin' to raise them two without a woman?
-The Lord is merciful! What a day is this! -- And there's little John!
-What's wrong, John?
-What do you want?
-Them kids!
-What are you after them for?
-None of your business, Madam.
-Pearl and John!
-I been bad!
-Ruby, you didn't have no money to buy this.
-You'll whip me!
-When did I ever?
-This man down at the Drugstore...
-The Drugstore?
-Miz Cooper. I never went to sewin' lessons all them times.
-What you been up to?
-This gentleman warn't like them! He just give me a sody and the book.
-Now who was this?
-He never asked me for nothin'.
-What'd you all talk about?
-Pearl and John.
-Miz Cooper!
-What?
-Nancy have any severe childhood illnesses? Scarlet Fever? High temperatures -- concussions?
-Nightmares are expected after psychological trauma. Don't worry, they go away.
-They're just simple tests, Nan. We'll both be right here.
-Look, I know it's been frightening, I know your dreams have seemed real. But... it's okay. Okay?
-How long's this been going on?
-Since the murder. She was fine before that.
-Not to worry. No signs of pathology in Nancy's EEG or pulse rate. I'd guess what we've got is a normal young girl who just happens to have gone through two days of hell.
-Okay, good. She's asleep.
-What the hell are dreams, anyway?
-What happened? That needle sank like a rock.
-How can you tell?
-Oh my god, oh my god...
-Worked like a charm.
-It's just a stupid cat.
-So we'll guard her together. Through the night. In each others' arms like we always said.
-Why's she so bothered by a stupid nightmare, anyway?
-Because he was scary, that's why.
-What the hell's going on!?
-You okay?
-Sometimes I wish you didn't live right across the street.
-Guess I did.
-Haven't slept, have you?
-M'god, I look twenty years old. You have any weird dreams last night?
-Slept like a rock.
-Well at least I have an objective wall to bounce this off. You believe it's possible to dream about what's going to happen?
-No.
-You believe in the Boogey Man?
-One two, Freddie's coming for you? No. Rod killed Tina. He's a fruitcake and you know it.
-You believe in anything?
-Listen, I got a crazy favor to ask.
-Uh-oh...
-Okay?
-Jesus, it's dark in here.
-Yeah. So?
-Whenever I get nervous I eat.
-And if you can't do that, you sleep.
-You ever read about the Balinese way of dreaming?
-No.
-They got a whole system they call 'dream skills'. So, if you have a nightmare, for instance like falling, right?
-Yeah.
-And what if they meet a monster in their dream? Then what?
-They turn their back on it. Takes away its energy, and it disappears.
-What happens if they don't do that?
-I guess those people don't wake up to tell what happens.
-'Booby Traps and Improvised Antipersonnel Devices'!
-I found it at this neat survivalist bookstore on Ventura.
-Hello?
-Hi.
-Much better.
-I heard your ma went ape at the security store today. You look like the Prisoner of Zenda or something. How long's it been since you slept?
-Coming up on the seventh day. It's okay, I checked Guiness. The record's eleven, and I'll beat that if I have to. Listen, I... I know who he is.
-Who?
-The killer.
-You do?
-Me!? Why would anyone want to kill me?!
-Bring him out of what?
-My dream.
-How you plan to do that?
-Just like I did the hat. Have a hold of the sucker when you wake me up.
-Me? Wait a minute, you can't bring someone out of a dream!
-If I can't, then you all can relax, because it'll just be a simple case of me being nuts.
-I can save you the trouble. You're nutty as a fruitcake. I love you anyway.
-Good, then you won't mind cold-cocking this guy when I bring him out.
-What!?
-You heard me. I grab him in the dream -- you see me struggling so you wake me up. We both come out, you cold cock the fucker, and we got him. Clever, huh?
-You crazy? Hit him with what?
-You're a jock. You must have a baseball bat or something. Come to my window at midnight. And meanwhile...
-Meanwhile...?
-How you doing, pal?
-Rod's not a lunatic.
-She dreamed this would happen...
-What?
-You used me, daddy!
-Decide to take a day off after all?
-Only family allowed, Nancy. You know the drill.
-Just want to talk to him a second.
-He's dangerous.
-You don't know he did it.
-Dad -- what you doing here?
-Hello Nancy.
-Hi daddy. I know what happened.
-Then you know more than I do -- I haven't even been upstairs.
-I've got a proposition for you. Listen very carefully, please.
-Nan, I --
-Please. I'm gonna go get the guy who did it and bring him to you. I just need you be right there to arrest him. Okay?
-Just tell me who did it and I'll go get him, baby.
--- I want you to come over here and break the door down exactly twenty minutes from now -- can you do that?
-Sure, but...
-That'll be exactly half past midnight. Time for me to fall asleep and find him.
-Sure, sure, honey. You just do that -- get yourself some sleep -- that's what I've been saying all along.
-Sure, okay, I'll be there. Now you just turn in and get some rest, sweetheart. Please. Deal?
-DAD! GET US OUTTA HERE!
-Lieutenant Thompson. Sorry to wake you, but --
-What's the Coroner got to say?
-Looks like her boyfriend did it. Rod Lane. Musician type, arrests for brawling, dope --
-Terrific. What the hell was she doing there?
-She lived there.
-Tell her I'm not here, tell her...
-Get outside and watch her house. If you see anything funny call me.
-Who? Who did that?
-Krueger.
-Had to've done it. No one else was in there.
-How you know that?
-Maybe god's punishing us all...
-Keep your head -- this is a fucking flesh and blood killer we're talking about.
-Apparently he was crazy jealous. Nancy said they'd had a fight, Rod and Tina.
-It wasn't that serious...
-Where you think you're going?
-School.
-Did you sleep?
-Right home after.
-Nancy, don't fall asleep in there.
-I won't.
-Get into bed.
-What?
-You're not falling asleep, are you? You could drown, you know.
-Mother, for petesakes.
-It happens all the time. I've got some warm milk all ready for you. Why don't you jump into bed? I'm gonna turn on your electric blanket, too. C'mon, now.
-You okay?
-Great
-No television, forget the homework, no phone calls.
-No, Mother. Yes, Mother. No, Mother.
-And no school tomorrow, either. You take a little vacation, relax and rest for a change.
-Take this, it'll help you sleep.
-I must be going nuts...
-You okay?
-Yeah. Just had a little dream. I'm falling right back to sleep.
-Okay... You need anything, just call.
-Go even crazier?
-I don't think you're going crazy -- and stop drinking that damn coffee!
-Did you ask Daddy to have the hat examined?
-What I learned at the dream clinic, that's what I'm trying to prove. Rod didn't kill Tina, and he didn't hang himself. It's this guy -- he's after us in our dreams.
-It's real, Mamma. Feel it.
-Screw sleep!
-What's with the bars?
-Mom, I want to know what you know about Fred Krueger.
-Dead and gone.
-Your father the cop. That's a good one. Forget Fred Krueger. You don't want to know, believe me.
-Oh lawyers got fat and the judge got famous, but someone forgot to sign the search warrant in the right place, and Fred Krueger was free, just like that.
-Bunch of us parents tracked him down after they let him go. Found him in an old boiler room, just like before. Saw him lying there in that caked red and yellow sweater he always wore, drunk an' asleep with his weird knives by his side...
-All these years you've kept those things buried down here? In our own house?
-Give me the key, mother.
-Guess I should'n'a done it.
-Just sleep now, Mom.
-Feeling better?
-We got her mother's bed. You two got the rest.
-Your old man thinks I did it, don't he?
-He doesn't know you. Couldn't you change?
-The cops were all over my house. They'll kill me for sure.
-I never touched her.
-Someone else was there.
-And then what happened?
-How could somebody get under the covers with you guys without you knowing it?
-No.
-Well then how can you say somebody else was there?
-What you mean 'all at once'?
-Do you think I did it?
-Rod says the sweetest things.
-He's nuts about you.
-Anyway, I'm too tired to worry about the creep. Couldn't get back to sleep at all. So what you dream?
-I can't believe his mother let him come over here.
-Nice to have a fire.
-Maybe we should call Rod, have him come over too. He might get jealous.
-What you dream?
-What the hell you doing here?
-Came to make up, no big deal. Your ma home?
-You feel better now, right?
-Jungle man fix Jane.
-No more fights?
-No more fights.
-When did you have a nightmare?
-Thank you, Comrade.
-Well, here are fifty francs.
-Thank you, Comrade, thank you.
-Bring me forty-five back.
-What is it, Ninotchka?
-From Leon.
-Good evening, Anna.
-Good evening, Ninotchka.
-Aren't you late?
-They didn't let me. I am in disgrace. Last week at the performance of Carmen I played a sour note. The conductor got so excited he yelled, "There's sabotage in the string section!"
-Too bad... you missed an inspiring day, Anna.
-I know... my heart is sad... but my feet are happy. When all the tanks and guns were roaring over the Red Square I sat here all by myself and played a Beethoven sonata. Not bad at all. Are you expecting someone?
-A few friends... just a little dinner party.
-What are you serving?
-An omelet.
-An omelet! Aren't you living a little above your ration?
-Well, I've saved up two eggs and each of my friends is bringing his own so we'll manage.
-I'll tell you later. That Gurganov, you never know whether he's on his way to the washroom or the Secret Police.
-You should be more careful, Anna.
-And you too, Ninotchka.
-About what?
-Ever since you have been back from Paris...
-I haven't talked to anyone about Paris. I haven't said a word.
-That's just it. It makes people feel queer. I dont' want you to get in any trouble.
-I have nothing to hide.
-When I passed through the laundry yard today I saw all the women huddled around this so I brought it up here. Things like this create a bad feeling. First they didn't know whose it was. Then they saw the Paris label and did it start a commotion! Some said it's what we all ought to wear and others said it's like hanging foreign
-I see.
-You know how it is today... all you have to do is wear a pair of silk stockings and they suspect you of counter-revolution.
-Thank you, Anna. I'll dry it up here when I wash it next. I should hate to see our country endangered by my underwear.
-No, I left everything in Paris. I just happened to be wearing this.
-Tell me... what else did you have?
-Well, a hat...
-What was it like?
-It was very silly.... I would be ashamed to wear it here.
-As beautiful as that? What else? Come, tell me.
-An evening gown.
-Evening gown?
-A dress you wear in the evening.
-What do you wear in the morning?
-When you get up you put on a negligee, and then you change to a morning frock.
-You mean to tell me you wear a different dress for different times of the day?
-Yes.
-Now, Ninotchka, you're exaggerating.
-No, my dear, it is true. That's how they live in the other world. Here we dress to have our bodies covered... to keep warm....
-And there?
-Well, sometimes they're not completely covered but... they don't freeze.
-They must have wonderful materials to make a thing like this so soft... something you don't even see.
-You feel it, though.
-Ninotchka, I wouldn't bring this up if we weren't such good friends.
-What is it, Anna?
-You know I told you that Pavlov and I are going to get married when he comes back from the maneuvers. Would it be asking too much...
-You want this?
-Just for the honeymoon.
-Are you the Buljanoff who fought on the barricades? And now you are afraid to take a room with a bath?
-Comrades! Comrades! Don't let's give in so quickly. After all we have to uphold the prestige of Russia.
-You wouldn't like Razinin.
-And how is Lord Lavenham?
-Are we free, Buljanoff?
-No, that's not him...
-That's her.
-Imagine! The niece of the Czar opening the door for us.
-You must help us, Leon... if you don't win her over we're on our way to Siberia!
-Or it might be the firing squad!
-Imagine, for once in our lives we were in Paris and we never went to the Eiffel Tower.
-If you hadn't given Commissar Razinin such a wonderful report about us, who knows what would have happened?
-A little more tact... look how nicely she's fixed the table -- all for us.
-Can you blame them?... at least the May Day parade is over.
-It is, Ninotchka! It is! He must have been in Paris! You can see it in his whole attitude! He just picked up a crumb of our black bread, shook his head, and dropped it.
-If you asked him why he left France I bet he couldn't name one good reason.
-Let's fill it with confitures, des prunes...
-And the surprise is there's nothing in it.
-We are not comrades any more... we are friends, Ninotchka.
-...it may step out of a bazaar... it may wait for you in a corridor... it may hide in the shadow of a minaret....
-Just a minute -- just a minute -- I have nothing against the idea but I still say let's go back to the Hotel Terminus. Moscow made our reservations there, we are on an official mission, and we have no right to change the orders of our superior.
-Now Comrades, I warn you... if it gets out in Moscow that we stay in the Royal Suite we will get into terrible trouble.
-Capitalistic methods...
-He's cutting our throat...
-We don't like Razinin.
-Misha! Misha!
-What is it?
-That must be the one!
-We had to take it on account of the safe.
-And Leonitchka! What she said about us...!
-And they might believe her in Moscow.
-Yes! We could stay with Leon!
-You know what they say -- there's nothing like home.
-Let's be happy that we're all alive.
-What a lovely room you have here.
-She's right... anyhow let's talk ourselves into it.
-And if it is too late for you your children will eat it.
-We can say whatever we want. We can shout... we can complain... Look... The service in this hotel is terrible! See? Nobody comes... nobody pays any attention. That's freedom.
-Is there anything I can do for you, monsieur?
-I am Comrade Buljanoff.
-Monsieur.
-May I ask how much your rooms are?
-Well, gentlemen, I'm afraid our rates are rather high.
-How are things in Moscow?
-This is the apartment we have reserved for you, Comrade Yakushova. I hope you like it.
-Which lawyer?
-You didn't get legal advice?
-Comrade Buljanoff...
-Yes, Comrade?
-Do you spell Buljanoff with one or two f's?
-Is there anything I can do, Comrade?
-You might get me an accurate map of Paris. I want to use my spare time to inspect the public utilities and make a study of all outstanding technical achievements in the city.
-There's something else which I know will appeal to you. A visit to the Paris sewers. They tell me it is extremely instructive.
-Now let's forget everything except that we're together.
-Let's not close our eyes. There are many good things to see here too.
-Comrades... I'm out of the omelet.
-It is high time you got out of Russia.
-Don't forget, the day will come when you will have to face Razinin.
-Good old Razinin! Is he still alive? How does he manage?
-Is it possible to bring you back to reality for a moment? I must have a complete report of your negotiations and a detailed expense account.
-Don't ask for it, Ninotchka. There is a Turkish proverb which says, "If something smells bad, why put your nose in it?"
-And there is a Russian saying: "The cat who has cream on his whiskers had better find good excuses."
-With our cream situation what it is, it is Russia which should apologize to the cats.
-All you have to do is say "open sesame."
-I don't know how I can get you out of it this time. How will it end? What will happen to you?
-Guest?
-We are not only serving good food, we are serving our country... we are making friends.
-You think because you represent the former Duchess...
-The Duchess...
-The former Duchess!
-Not that we are giving in one inch, but tell us... what is in your mind?
-About this telegram to Moscow. Why should you bother? I'll write it for you.
-Didn't we put up a strong resistance?
-Boys, boys... don't forget Russia is your mother country. Three sons walking out all at once... that's too much for any mother.
-Good morning, Your Highness.
-Good morning, Gaston.
-Count d'Algout is still asleep.
-Nonsense. How can you fight the Reds and make yourself agreeable to the Whites if you don't keep up your strength.
-A blue shirt, perhaps?
-Blue? Let's offset his mood. Find a striped one, and brighten it with a great blaze of tie.
-Good evening, Gaston.
-Count d'Algout, there have been several telephone...
-Your breakfast, monsieur.
-What time have you, Gaston?
-Eight forty-two, sir.
-I guess it is eight forty-two.
-You seem to be a bit nervous, sir.
-I am, Gaston.
-If you will forgive me, ever since you met that Bolshevik lady I've noticed a distinct change in you, sir.
-Have you?
-Decidedly. Yesterday I was greatly amazed when I came from the market and found that you had made your bed, sir.
-And Gaston, I was happier all day long. I felt I'd contributed something.
-Well, sir, if you should do it again, which I hope you won't, please remember the order. Counterpane, blanket, blanket, sheet, sheet.
-Ah, there's something poetic about the simple processes of labor. Counterpane, blanket, blanket, sheet, sheet... it should be set to music!
-May I add, sir, that it was with great amazement that I found a copy of Karl Marx's Capital on your night table. That is a socialistic volume which I refuse to so much as dust, sir. I view with alarm, sir, the influence over you of this Bolshevik lady.
-I can't follow you, Gaston, isn't it about time that you realized the unfairness of your position? You being my servant? Wouldn't you like to stand on an equal footing with me?
-No, sir.
-Isn't there any revolt in you? Sometimes when I order you around don't you feel like kicking me in the pants?
-No, sir.
-Oh, you're a reactionary! Don't you look forward to the day when you can come in here and stand square on your two feet and say, "Hey, you, d'Algout! from now on it's going to be share and share alike"?
-Your Highness...
-Yes, General Savitzky?
-I want you to know all the White Russian exiles in Paris are keeping their fingers crossed about the jewels. They are very interested in the case. Swana suspects her countrymen.
-Are they indeed? Thank you.
-They hope the settlement will bring you a fortune.
-You're looking magnificent, Leon... ...isn't he, General Savitzky?
-General, would you mind making my excuses at our table? I'll be back in a few moments.
-Good evening, Your Highness.
-Good evening, Louis. You seem to be very crowded tonight. Can you manage a table near the floor?
-Certainly, Your Highness, this way please... Count d'Algout made the reservation this afternoon.
-Count d'Algout...
-Only one in the rear, I'm afraid.
-Is this satisfactory?
-Comrades, why should we lie to each other? It's wonderful.
-They tell me when you ring once the valet comes in; when you ring twice you get the waiter; and do you know what happens when you ring three times? A maid comes in -- a French maid.
-I don't want to go to the Hotel Terminus.
-If Lenin were alive he would say, "Buljanoff, Comrade, for once in your life you're in Paris. Don't be a fool. Go in there and ring three times."
-We can wait.
-You know, Monsieur Mercier, this is all non-sense.
-We can call our ambassador.
-That won't help you! You can't intimidate us!
-Yes, Leon...
-Leon, my little boy.
-Halt negotiations immediately. Envoy extraordinary arrives Thursday six ten with full power. Your authority cancelled herewith. Razinin.
-This is a fine thing. Maybe we've missed him already.
-We don't blame you, Leon, but when we came from Russia we believed in simplicity...
-They tell me it has a wonderful restaurant on the second floor.
-Let's do that.
-It's a real Paris reunion.
-...des petites fraises des bois... de la crème de Bretagne...
-Well, I think it's getting late. Good night, Ninotchka.
-That was our idea when we first came. All we thought we would get out of this trip was a Turkish bath, but... we learned better.
-Ninotchka, we are in the magic East, the country of Aladdin and His Lamp...
-Don't call it desertion. Our little restaurant... that is our Russia... the Russia of borscht, the Russia of beef Stroganoff, blinis with sour cream...
-There's something in Constantinople... something irresistible....
-We don't want to be disturbed.
-My name is Count d'Algout. I telephoned.
-If you want to see us you must come later.
-I just want a word with Monsieur Mercier.
-Well, gentlemen... how about a little lunch?
-Get out of here!
-All right, go ahead, get her on the witness stand! What can she say?
-But how will she look? The fashions this spring are very becoming to her. Gentlemen, the judge will be French, the jury will be French, everybody in that courtroom will be French. Have you ever seen a French court when a beautiful woman sits on the witness stand and lifts her skirt a little? You sit down and pull up your pants and where
-I suppose you expect us to hand over the jewels?
-What proposition?
-What's the name of that Commissar on the Board of Trade?
-Razinin.
-And if we have to go to Siberia...
-She says she won't be intimidated by parasites. She called the Duchess a blood-sucking aristocrat and a blackmailer.
-What did she say about me?
-You found your way to us and we weren't easy to reach, were we?
-I am looking for Michael Simonovitch Iranoff.
-I am Michael Simonovitch Iranoff.
-Comrade Buljanoff...
-Comrade.
-Comrade Kopalski...
-Comrade.
-How much does this cost?
-Two thousand francs.
-A week?
-A day.
-Do you know how much a cow costs, Comrade Iranoff?
-A cow?
-Well, it means another two weeks in Paris.
-Come, now, you must not talk that way.... You have to adjust yourselves.... We must be brave.
-Only myself and two other girls. One is a cello player in the opera and the other a street-car conductor.
-Bad news?
-But Buljanoff, Iranoff, Kopalski...
-Now, please, Ninotchka, don't start figuring it out in cows.
-You've done it again and I am responsible. How can you forget yourselves this way? You were sent here to make money, not to spend it.
-...we have a wonderful electric sign: "Dine With Buljanof, Iranoff, and Kopalski."
-Yes, monsieur?
-This is Comrade Kopalski.
-I might be able to accommodate you. Is there some more luggage?
-Oh, yes, but have you a safe here big enough to hold this?
-I'm afraid we have no boxes of that size in our vault, but there is one suite with a private safe...
-That's even better.
-A Special Envoy is coming from Moscow. He'll occupy the Royal Suite. Move our things to the smallest room you've got.
-Yes, monsieur.
-Now, monsieur, you have no right...
-We may have a chance.
-Yes... a very slim one. I want to be fair. I don't deny that you might make out some kind of a case.
-We haven't anything to discuss with you. We'll talk to a lawyer!
-How does this strike you? Commissar Razinin, Board of Trade, Moscow. Unexpected situation here. Duchess Swana in Paris claims jewels, and has already brought injunction against sale or removal. After long and careful study we suggest in the interest of our beloved country a fifty-fifty settlement as best solution. Iranoff, Buljanoff, and Kopalski.
-What's new?
-Well, boys, I'd like to help you but what can I do? Yesterday I waited six hours in the lobby!
-She doesn't leave her room! She has been locked in for the last two days with lawyers and law books!
-All right, then make an appointment with her so I can see her!
-If we had known we would have greeted you with flowers.
-He is a porter. He wants to carry them.
-Allow me, Comrade.
-What's that?
-I am ashamed to put the picture of Lenin in a room like this. Comrades, your telegram was received with great disfavor in Moscow.
-We did our best, Comrade.
-We dealt directly with the representative of the Grand Duchess. I am sure if we call him he will give you a very clear picture.
-Will you send me some cigarettes, please? Comrades, I am not in a position to pass final judgment but at best you have been careless in your duty to the State. You were entrusted with more than a mere sale of jewelry. Why are we peddling our precious possessions to the world at this time? Our next year's crop is in danger and you
-We did it with the best intentions...
-We cannot feed the Russian people on your intentions. Fifty per cent to a so-called Duchess!... Half of every loaf of bread to our enemy! Comrade Kopalski, go at once to our Embassy and get the address of the best lawyer in Paris.
-Yes, Comrade.
-I acted on your suggestion and got in touch with the Power and Light authorities. Whenever you want to visit their plants they are open to you.
-If there is anything we can do for you...
-How are you, you three scoundrels?
-And your own gas cooker? That's marvelous! Naturally it's not the Royal Suite...
-Sssh! Once and for all, we're in Moscow!
-Yes, there's no doubt of that... Just look out of the window and there it is.
-The same spring we had in Paris. Just as good.
-Now, comrades... there is something better in life than crumbs of French pastry.
-Yes, a good piece of apfel strudel....
-...and Kopalski.
-I'm sorry, gentlemen. The other day I heard such a funny story... It still makes me laugh. It is very funny. I am sorry. Oh yes... about this injunction...
-The hearing is set for the twentieth of this month.
-That's two weeks from Thursday...
-We did our utmost to have it set ahead.
-I know, gentlemen, but it is in the hands of the Court. We're helpless, aren't we?
-Yes. It is unfortunate.
-We'll leave these papers here for your further consideration. Au revoir, madame.
-Give me another double brandy.
-That kind of propaganda is bad anywhere, but inciting the attendants of a powder room to go on strike.... Well, if she succeeds the consequences will be disastrous.
-What can I do about it?
-She has been asked to leave the powder room but without success. We would appreciate if you would see to it yourself.
-You want me to go in there?
-Pardon me, I am very interested in what you just said -- you mean when an envoy goes back to Russia -- if they don't like what he has done they put him out of the way?
-Not always... look at me... I've been back twice.
-Here's my passport.... Please give me a visa. I have to leave for Russia immediately.
-Count Leon d'Algout... a count!... a nobleman!
-Don't hold that against me... please!
-Why should an aristocrat want to go to Russia?
-Business.
-What business?
-Private.
-There is no privacy in Russia. This whole thing seems very suspicious. What's the real reason? If you ever want to get into Russia, take my advice... confess!
-Confess what?
-Are you sympathetic to the former Czaristic government -- the White Russians?
-On the contrary -- I don't want to have anything to do with them.
-She must have her little joke. You're not going to take that seriously.
-The Grand Duchess Swana... active in the White Russian movement?
-Believe me, I have no connection with her any longer... I swear I haven't!
-But you had!
-Listen, I want to be absolutely frank with you. I have no business in Moscow.
-I think so too.
-I want to see a friend of mine... a very dear friend.... It's a personal matter which has nothing to do with politics or social philosophies.... It's a girl.
-So it's love which drags you to Moscow.
-Yes!
-No visa.
-I must get into that country of yours!
-Oh no. No visa.
-That's impossible! Nobody has the right.... You can't do that!... If you don't give me that visa...
-You're going to force us... huh?
-Now look here... you advertise all over the world that you want people to go into your country and when someone tries to get in, you keep him out!
-Why should I take a chance?
-On what?
-How do I know you don't want to blow up a factory?
-What for... why?
-Or a tunnel or a bridge...
-You, please.
-Me?
-Yes. Could you give me some information?
-Gladly.
-How long do we have to wait here?
-Well -- until the policeman whistles again.
-At what intervals does he whistle?
-What?
-How many minutes between the first and second whistle?
-That's funny. It's interesting. I never gave it a thought before.
-Have you never been caught in a similar situation?
-Have I? Do you know when I come to think about it it's staggering. If I add it all up I must have spent years waiting for signals. Imagine! An important part of my life wasted between whistles.
-In other words you don't know.
-No.
-Thank you.
-Can I help you?
-You might hold this for me.
-Love to.
-Correct me if I am wrong... We are facing north, aren't we?
-Facing north... I'd hate to commit myself without my compass... Pardon me... are you an explorer?
-No... I am looking for the Eiffel Tower.
-Is that thing lost again?... Listen... if you are interested in a view...
-I am interested in the Eiffel Tower from a technical standpoint.
-Technical... I couldn't help you from that angle. You see, a real Parisian only goes to the top of the tower in moments of despair to jump off.
-How long does it take a man to land?
-Why do you need my finger?
-Bad manners to point with your own... Here... the Eiffel Tower.
-And where are we?
-Here... here we are... here you are and here I am... feel it?
-I am interested only in the shortest distance between these two points. Must you flirt?
-I don't have to but I find it natural.
-Suppress it.
-For my own information would you call your approach toward me typical of the local morale?
-Madame, it is that kind of approach which has made Paris what it is.
-You are very sure of yourself, aren't you?
-Nothing has occurred recently to shake my confidence.
-I have heard of the arrogant male in capitalistic society. It is having a superior earning power that makes you like that.
-A Russian! I love Russians! Comrade... I have been fascinated by your Five- Year Plan for the past fifteen years!
-The foundation is one hundred and forty-one yards square... I hope you'll forgive me but I thought you'd...
-Four massive piers of masonry are sunk to a depth of forty-six feet on the side of the Seine, and twenty- nine and one-half feet on the other side. The girders of interlaced iron- work which stay the structure have an inclination of fifty-four degrees...
-That's a strange angle.
-You gave me some very valuable information. Thank you.
-And thank you for getting me up here. I've never seen this before. Beautiful, isn't it?
-Yes, it is.
-I'm glad I saw it before becoming extinct.
-Do not misunderstand me. I do not hold your frivolity against you. As basic material you might not be bad, but you are the unfortunate product of a doomed culture. I feel sorry for you.
-I do not deny its beauty, but it is a waste of electricity.
-What a city! There are the Grands Boulevards... blasted out of the heart of the old streets. The Arc de Triomphe... made to greet Napoleon's army. The Opera! And Montmartre... Montparnasse... La Bohème... and now I'll show you the greatest attraction! It will cost me a franc but it is worth it. The most wonderful spot in all Paris -- unique! Here, look.... What
-I see a house that looks like any other house. What's remarkable about it?
-It's not the structure but the spirit which dwells within. There are three rooms and a kitchenette dedicated to hospitality.
-So that is your house?
-Well, let's say I live in it. Such a pleasant place... all kinds of comfort, easy to reach, close to street car, bus, and subway...
-Does that mean that you want me to go there?
-Please don't misunderstand me...
-Then you don't want me to go there.
-Now I didn't say that either... naturally nothing would please me more.
-Then why don't we go? You might be an interesting subject of study.
-Is this what you call the "butler"?
-Yes.
-Good evening, comrade. This man is horribly old. You should not make him work.
-He takes good care of that.
-He looks sad. Do you whip him?
-No, though the mere thought makes my mouth water.
-Well, may I offer you a drink, or how about something to eat?
-What do we do now?
-We take off our hat and coat. We sit down -- we make ourselves comfortable. We adjust ourselves to the prospect of a most enjoyable evening. We look at each other. We smile. Well... we don't smile. How about some music?
-Is that customary?
-It helps. It has ever since King David wooed Bathsheba with the harp. As I am not so fortunate as to have my harp at hand, I shall turn on the radio.
-I should say this room is eighteen by twenty-five.
-Not too big and not too small. What I'd call the typical room of an average man. Or shall we say a little above average. Now if there are any special aspects you wish to study I have nothing to conceal. Just look around. That's my desk. Those are my books, and here am I. Where shall we begin?
-I will start with you.
-That's great. I'm thirty-five years old. Just over six feet tall. I weigh a hundred and eighty-two pounds stripped.
-And what is your profession?
-Keeping my body fit, keeping my mind alert, keeping my landlord appeased. That's a full-time job.
-And what do you do for mankind?
-For mankind not a thing -- for womankind the record is not quite so bleak.
-You are something we do not have in Russia.
-Thank you. Thank you.
-That is why I believe in the future of my country.
-I begin to believe in it myself since I've met you. I still don't know what to make of it. It confuses me, it frightens me a little, but it fascinates me, Ninotchka.
-You pronounce it incorrectly. Ni- notchka.
-Ni-notchka.
-That is correct.
-Ninotchka, do you like me just a little bit?
-Your general appearance is not distasteful.
-Thank you.
-Look at me. The whites of your eyes are clear. Your cornea is excellent.
-Your cornea is terrific. Tell me -- you're so expert on things -- can it be that I'm falling in love with you?
-You are bringing in wrong values. Love is a romantic designation for a most ordinary biological, or shall we say chemical, process. A lot of nonsense is talked and written about it.
-Oh, I see. What do you use instead?
-I acknowledge the existence of a natural impulse common to all.
-What can I possibly do to encourage such an impulse in you?
-You don't have to do a thing. Chemically we are already quite sympathetic.
-You're the most improbable creature I've ever met in my life, Ninotchka, Ninotchka...
-You repeat yourself.
-I'd like to say it a thousand times.
-Don't do it, please.
-I'm at a loss, Ninotchka. You must forgive me if I appear a little old- fashioned. After all, I'm just a poor bourgeois.
-It's never too late to change. I used to belong to the petty bourgeoisie myself. My father and mother wanted me to stay and work on the farm, but I preferred the bayonet.
-The bayonet? Did you really?
-I was wounded before Warsaw.
-Wounded? How?
-I was a sergeant in the Third Cavalry Brigade. Would you like to see my wound?
-I'd love to. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
-A Polish lancer. I was sixteen.
-Poor Ninotchka. Poor, poor Ninotchka.
-What kind of a girl are you, anyway?
-Just what you see. A tiny cog in the great wheel of evolution.
-Do you hear that?
-It's twelve o'clock.
-It's midnight. One half of Paris is making love to the other half. Look at the clock. One hand has met the other hand. They kiss. Isn't that wonderful?
-That's the way a clock works. There's nothing wonderful about it. You merely feel you must put yourself in a romantic mood to add to your exhilaration.
-I can't possibly think of a better reason.
-It's false sentimentality.
-Was that talkative?
-Thank you.
-Glorious, analytical...
-The telephone is ringing.
-Oh, let it ring.
-I must go.
-Ninotchka, or shall I say Special Envoy Yakushova...
-Let's forget that we ever met.
-I have a better suggestion. Let's forget that the telephone ever rang. I never heard that you are Yakushova... you are Ninotchka... my Ninotchka...
-I was sent here by my country to fight you.
-All right, fight me, fight me as much as you want, but fight me tomorrow morning! There's nothing sweeter than sharing a secret with a bitter enemy.
-As a representative of Moscow...
-Tonight let's not represent anybody but ourselves.
-It is out of the question. If you wish to approach me...
-You know I want to...
-Then do it through my lawyer!
-But, Ninotchka, I held you in my arms. You kissed me!
-Room service speaking.
-Send me a plate of raw carrots and beets, beets predominating on a ratio of sixty-forty... What? There is a strike in the kitchen? Good! Will you assure the strikers of my hearty sympathy in their cause. I hope they will not weaken in their demands and tell them to put no dressing whatsoever on my vegetables... What? You won't serve me either? Now
-Pardon me for addressing you but you insulted him, you know that. You hurt his feelings. It was just like telling a musician you don't like music. That good old man believes in food as you believe in Karl Marx. You can't go around hurting people, Comrade Yakushova, but maybe you can make it up to him. Do you know how? By eating everything
-I don't like your following me.
-I didn't follow you.
-Then how did you get here?
-I always eat here.
-This is a place for workmen.
-Just an old man. His memory is getting weak.
-What are you after?
-Must one always be after something?
-Your tactics are useless. My name is neither Buljanoff, Iranoff, nor Kopalski.
-Oh, Ninotchka, who wants to talk business. If you win the suit, fine. If we win the suit, better. You do me an injustice. When we went to my apartment did I have the slightest idea that you had any connection with this deal?
-But you have now, and I know now that you are a man who employs business methods which in Russia would be punished by death.
-Death! Death! Always so glum! What about life, Ninotchka! Do Russians never think of life? Of the moment in which we are living? The only moment we really have? Don't take it all so seriously, Ninotchka. Nothing is worth it. Please... relax... I beg you, Sergeant... smile!
-What?
-Will you smile?
-Why?
-Just smile.
-At what?
-At anything. At the whole ludicrous spectacle of life. At people being pompous and taking themselves seriously and exaggerating their own importance. If you can't find anything else to laugh at you can laugh at you and me.
-Why?
-Because we are an odd couple.
-Then you should go back to your table.
-Ha! Ha! Now go back.
-That's not a laugh! I mean a laugh from the heart. Now let's see. I'm going to tell you a funny story. Just a moment... I've got it! Well, it seems there were a couple of Frenchmen who went to America...
-On which boat?
-Well, er... let's drop it. I don't think you would care for that one.
-Probably not.
-Do you like Scotch stories?
-I have never heard one.
-Two Scotchmen met on the street... and I don't know the name of the street and it really doesn't matter. Well, anyway, one's name was McIntosh and the other's was McGillicuddy. McIntosh says to McGillicuddy, "Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy," and McGillicuddy says to McIntosh, "Hello, Mr. McIntosh," and then McIntosh says to McGillicuddy, "How is Mrs. McGillicuddy?" and then McGillicuddy says to McIntosh, "How is
-I wish they had never met.
-I suppose you don't think that's funny?
-No.
-It seemed funny to me when I first heard it. Maybe the trouble isn't with the joke. Maybe it's with you!
-I don't think so.
-Not funny, huh?
-No.
-I'll tell you that joke again. A man comes into a restaurant. Did you get that?
-Yes.
-He sits down at the table and says to the waiter... Did you get that too?
-Yes.
-I don't look too foolish?
-You remember this room?
-I've never been here before. I wonder whom you're thinking of. Oh, I know, a girl with a map, figuring out each step, worrying about north and south. Today... now this might shock you... I went up to a taxi and said "Eight Rue du Bois"... and here I am.
-You see? Life can be so simple.
-For twelve francs, seventy-five.
-It's nine o'clock.
-That's when one half of Paris says to the other half, "What are your plans for this evening, madame?"
-Well, first I should like to take off my hat and jacket. Then could we have some music?
-A wonderful idea! Radio or records?
-You see I couldn't shout that.
-Leon, you know the jokes you told me a few days ago? I wake up in the middle of the night and laugh at them. Now, Leon that's wrong. I know they're not funny, they're silly. They're stupid. And still... I laugh... and when I look at Buljanoff and Iranoff and Kopalski I know they are scoundrels and I should hate them -- then
-No... go on.
-Leon, I would like to ask you something.
-Anything, Ninotchka.
-If you don't want to answer, you needn't. But if you do, you must tell me the truth.
-I promise... I swear.
-Did you make any change in this room?
-I don't think so.
-She is very attractive. She has great elegance. She's what you call a woman of the world, isn't she?
-Ninotchka, I love you.
-I suppose she is very entertaining... It must be lots of fun to be with her, so witty, so glamorous...
-Leon, don't ever ask me for a picture of myself... I couldn't bear the thought of being shut up in a drawer... I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stand it.
-I wouldn't know. The closest I ever came to champagne was in a newsreel. The wife of some president was throwing it at a battleship.
-It's funny to look back. I was brought up on goat's milk, I had a ration of vodka in the army, and now champagne.
-From what I read I thought champagne was a strong drink. It's very delicate. Do people ever get drunk on this?
-How do you do?
-Quickly, please... tell me one of your funny stories.
-A funny story?
-You never finished the one about the two Scotchmen with the names.
-Go on.
-No, darling. I'll tell you another story, a much better one. The only thing that will be over on Thursday is the lawsuit. There will be no Thursday for us. Not next week or any week. We won't let it happen. I'll tear it out of the calendar. Is that a good story?
-Wonderful -- if one could believe it.
-You must, darling.
-Oo! Darling! Something is the matter.
-You just made that trip from goats to grapes a little too fast.
-Oh, everything is so wonderful! It's getting farther and farther away!
-What, darling?
-Thursday.
-Comrades! Comrades!
-Darling, darling... please!
-I must talk to my brothers!
-Shhh! Shhh!
-But, darling, you can't do that.
-Comrades! Good people of France!
-Now, Ninotchka... please!
-Quite right... yes, yes, yes, but first you're going in that door and you're going to take a little spirits of ammonia and lie down.
-No speech?
-No speech.
-I love you, my little Leonitchka!
-Don't tell them where we're going, sweetheart.
-Are we going to build our little house?
-Yes... a little white house.
-Not white, darling.
-All right, we'll make it red.
-No, don't let's have it any color... no color... just a house house... let's form our own party.
-Right: Lovers of the world unite!
-And we won't stretch up our arms...
-No! No!
-...and we won't clench our fist...
-No! No!
-Our salute will be a kiss.
-I am so happy. No one can be so happy without being punished. I will be punished and I should be punished. I want to confess, darling.
-I know... it's the Russian soul.
-Would that make you any happier?
-Much happier.
-I have paid the penalty. Now let's have some music.
-Let's turn on the radio.
-Radio! What is radio?
-It's a little box that you buy on the installment plan and before you tune it in they tell you they have a new model.
-What shall we get? The news!
-No, no news. We don't want to know what's happening in the world. We want to be left alone, don't we?
-Yes, sweetheart... all by ourselves.
-It's dead.
-No music.
-There it is... Thursday... you can't rip it out of the week....
-But I can throw it out of the window.
-It wouldn't be fair to the man in the street. There they are... they are terrible things, those jewels....
-...but big.
-...they are the tears of Old Russia... see that stone?
-Who cried that one?
-Czar Peter gave it to his wife, Catherine the Great. For it he sold ten thousand serfs in the market.
-Come, sweetheart. Let me put it on you. You will teach these jewels. For the first time they will learn how they can look.
-They belong to the people.
-Is this the wish of the masses?
-It is their wish.
-Thank you, Leon... thank you, masses. Can I make a speech now?
-Comrades! People of the world! The revolution is on the march... I know... wars will wash over us... bombs will fall... all civilization will crumble... but not yet, please... wait, wait... what's the hurry? Let us be happy... give us our moment.... We are happy, aren't we, Leon?
-Yes, sweetheart.
-They wouldn't let me in so I had to get you out.
-Trying to keep me away from you! It couldn't be done. Naturally I couldn't go on forever punching passport officials in the nose -- but I found a way, didn't I? Darling, I had to see you. I wrote and wrote but all my letters came back.
-The one I got they wouldn't let me read. It began, "Ninotchka, my darling," and ended, "Yours, Leon."
-But, Leon, I am only here for a few days.
-If you don't stay with me, I'll have to continue my fight. I'll travel wherever Russian commissions are. I'll turn them all into Buljanoffs, Iranoffs, and Kopalskis. The world will be crowded with Russian restaurants. I'll depopulate Russia. Once you saved your country by going back. This time you can save it by staying here.
-Hello, Leon!
-It's really a wretched morning... wretched. I can't get myself right. I wanted to look mellow and I look brittle. My face doesn't compose well... all highlights... how can I dim myself down, Leon? Suggest something. I am so bored with this face. I wish I had someone else's face. Whose face would you have if you had your choice? Oh, well, I guess
-Your conversation has one marvelous advantage, Swana. However many questions you ask you never expect an answer.
-Don't you find that restful?... Why didn't you come last night?
-Darling, I was busy looking out for your interests.
-Did you win?
-We can forget horse racing, roulette, the stock market... our worries are over! You remember that platinum watch with the diamond numbers? You will be in a position to give it to me.
-Oh, Leon, you are so good to me.
-We can be rich if you say the word. I had dinner with the Guizots last night.
-Those newspaper people?
-You'd be surprised how many nice people dine with the Guizots.
-What a gruesome proof of the power of the press!
-Now listen, Swana... I sold Monsieur Guizot the idea of publishing your memoirs in the Gazette Parisienne. "The Life and Loves of the Grand Duchess Swana of Russia"!
-Oh, Leon!
-Sweetheart, we won't have to bother about our future if you are willing to raffle off your past!
-Was it for this that I refused to endorse Dr. Bertrand's Mouthwash? I could have made a little fortune by saying that the Vincent Vacuum Cleaner was the only vacuum cleaner ever used by the Romanoffs... and now you want them to smear my life's secrets over the front page of a tabloid?
-I understand how you feel, but there is a limit to everything, particularly pride and dignity. They are willing to pay any price! They have a circulation of two million!
-My little Volga boatman! Stop threatening! I don't deserve this. Are you my little Volga boatman?
-Now, Swana...
-First tell me, are you my little Volga boatman?
-Yes, I'm your little Volga boatman.
-I've got one chapter Guizot thinks is terrific. "Caviar and Blood." Swana escapes over the ice!
-A couple of bloodhounds and we have Uncle Tom's Cabin.
-Darling, this would be wonderful! Just once... weren't you attacked by a Bolshevik?
-Was I? No... not by a Bolshevik!
-He's a waiter at the Clarence, poor devil. You know him.
-Oh, yes.
-Did I hear something about jewels?
-This is the Duchess Swana... I want to speak to Monsieur Cornillon... it's very important... please get him right away... Hello, Monsieur Cornillon? The most incredible thing has happened! My jewels are here in Paris! Three Bolshevik swine are trying to sell them! Yes... yes... we must act immediately!... Call the police... Have them arrested!... Well, then, get an injunction!... But do something, Monsieur
-What does he say?
-What did he say?
-It looks pretty hopeless... there may be a chance... that's all... The French Government has recognized Soviet Russia and he doubts that they will risk a war for my poor sake. He might be able to make up some kind of a case but it would cost money, money, money!... That's all they are interested in -- those lawyers!
-Leon! What in heaven's name...!
-Huh?
-Is anything wrong? Are you ill?
-No.
-Don't tell me the bed has lost its best friend.
-I just couldn't sleep. I got up and went back... and then got up again. These last few days... whew!
-Make it ice cold.
-Now... here we have two very handsome soft-boiled eggs. Do you suppose hens mind what happens to their eggs? Probably not. They have such unfeeling eyes. We'll put in a great nugget of butter, plenty of pepper and salt... Darling, I haven't seen you for three livelong days... seventy-two hours!
-Oh, please, Swana! I don't know whether I'm standing on my head or my heels. Here you are blaming me for neglecting you when I'm trying to concentrate on another woman and can't get near her.
-You haven't seen her yet?
-No, and believe me I've tried everything! I must have telephoned her a hundred times. I've sent her telegrams, I've sent her flowers... I asked her to dinner... I offered her seats for the Opera...
-That proletarian! In the old days we'd have had her flogged.
-That wouldn't have done any good. Not with her. She's the most incredible creature I've ever seen.
-You just told me you hadn't seen her.
-Well... er... I caught a glimpse of her when she walked through the lobby.
-Imagine the carpets of a self- respecting Parisian hotel dirtied by the boots of a muzhik! What does she look like?
-You can't imagine.
-That bad? Old or young?
-Timeless. When she comes into a room you'd think that the Bolsheviks had taken over Paris. She wears her cheap miserable blouse as though it were the latest model by Schiaparelli. What a woman! What a woman! There is a Russian snowstorm in each of her eyes.
-You saw all that in one glimpse?
-Darling, if we're going to get anywhere someone has to keep his eyes open!
-Thank you.
-Is this your new dress suit?
-Yes, Swana.
-Didn't I tell you Benson and Benson were the tailors for you?
-Yes, Swana, you did.
-It's a dream of beauty. He never takes my word for anything, but I was right, wasn't I?
-Yes, Swana.
-Am I interrupting?
-Not at all. Your Highness, may I present Madame Yakushova?
-I've some wonderful news for you, Leon. It's about Punchy... do you mind if I sit down?
-He won another blue ribbon and bit the judge. Ha! ha! ha! I bought him the cutest sweater as a reward. You should see him strut down the street in it. He looks like a little boulevardier. You see, Count d'Algout gave me Punchy for my birthday. You must have searched weeks before you found anything as divine as Punchy, didn't you, Leon?
-Months, Swana.
-There's a charming crowd here tonight, isn't there?
-Will you do me a favor? Stop talking about the good old days.
-Leon, darling, how nice! Have you ordered tea or a cocktail?
-No thanks, Swana.
-Did I act stupidly last night? Should I apologize?
-I'm the one who should apologize. I should have talked to you before.
-Is this, by any chance, going to be a confession?
-Yes.
-Oh, no, my little Volga boatman. Have you forgotten our First Commandment: Never Complain -- Never Explain. It has worked so often and so perfectly, don't let's break the rule. And please don't look so guilty, otherwise I'll...
-This time, Swana -- just this once -- I must ask you to listen.
-All right, I'll listen.
-I know you hate the obvious but do you mind if, at this moment, I'm not in the least subtle?
-Brutal frankness, if you insist.
-There are a hundred ways to approach it, but I feel it can best be said in one simple phrase. I'm in love, Swana.
-And I thought it was something serious! How could you frighten me so?
-It must be serious, Swana. Not long ago I'd have considered such a statement rather juvenile and rather middle class. Now I can say it without stammering, without a blush. I'm in love, Swana.
-Say it over and over again, Leon. Words are a wonderful safety valve, and that's what you need -- because you know it's impossible, don't you?
-I have to be simple again, Swana, and you may find it shockingly banal. I've thought it over and I'm willing to take all the consequences, even if it means a complete readjustment of my way of living.
-Leon! This has the ugly sound of regeneration.
-I'm afraid that's what it is.
-The same old trouble, Leon. You're always late. Whether you're taking me to the Opera or calling for me at a beauty shop, you're never on time. And now, when it's a question of your reform -- late again. By about five minutes.
-What is this, Swana?
-Knowing the efficiency of the French Air Service I think I can guarantee that Madame Yakushova has already taken off for Moscow.
-Has done what?
-She's gone, Leon.
-Hello, Leon darling!
-Hello.
-Now, please, Swana.
-Count d'Algout was for several years my personal representative and if it is necessary to sign any affidavit for him I'll be delighted.
-That does it, Swana. Now you mustn't miss your appointment with your hair-dresser.
-Just in case they don't give you your visa to Russia I want you to know that I have signed a contract for my memoirs and rented a lovely little château in the Touraine, and if you feel the need of a change...
-Not at all.... I understand perfectly, Count d'Algout gave you a dog. You made it very clear, madame.
-Isn't it amazing! One gets a wrong impression of the new Russia. It must be charming. I'm glad conditions are so improved. I assume this is what the factory workers wear at their dances?
-Exactly. You see, it would have been embarrassing for people of my sort to wear low-cut gowns in the old Russia. The lashes of the Cossacks across our backs were not very becoming, and you know how vain women are.
-You're right, madame, it will all be over by Thursday.
-Good morning.
-What?
-I think we can cut your visit short. Leon is not here.
-How stale last night's gaiety looks! It has the taste of a dead cigarette.
-If you were encouraged to come here by our meeting last night I am afraid you misunderstood my attitude.
-Don't worry, you were quite rude enough. Do you mind if I let in a little fresh air and sunshine? I'm sure it will make you feel better and I want you to be at your very best. In full possession of your faculties, at least.
-Please come to the point. What is it you want?
-I just dropped in to have a little heart-to-heart talk with you.
-We have nothing to discuss.
-Now there you are completely wrong. If we sit down for a little chat, I'm sure we won't run out of conversation and what's more it won't be dull.
-Madame, what is it you people always say, regardless of what you mean... "I am delighted to have you here"? I have not reached that stage of civilization.
-That's all right... I grow on people.
-I must ask you to leave.
-Leave? That's exactly what I came here to ask you to do. Leave! I don't mean this hotel and I don't mean Paris... I mean France. There's a plane for Moscow at five-forty.
-Madame, if you...
-Don't worry. I have already made reservations. It's perfect flying weather. They assure me there's a fine tail wind which will sweep you back to Moscow in no time.
-My palace in Petrograd... yes, you took that away from me. You took away my czar, my country, my people, everything I had... but nothing more -- I warn you.
-People cannot be taken away, madame, neither a hundred and sixty million nor one. Not if you have their love. You hadn't. That's why you're not in Russia any longer, and that's why you came here this morning.
-Very interesting, my dear, but couldn't you write all that from Moscow? A dissertation on love on Soviet stationery -- would be an amusing paradox.
-It is not enough to be witty, madame. People grow tired of being entertained. You made that mistake before. Problems were never solved by bowing from a balcony.
-You can't deny we gave the people their money's worth -- almost -- eight tumbling Romanoffs -- eight!
-I must insist that you leave.
-Not before you agree to use those reservations to Moscow.
-I wouldn't waken Leon. After last night I would say not before three o'clock at the earliest.
-I told you to go, madame.
-Where are they?
-You were very careless with our precious jewels, my dear. They're too expensive a toy for two children to play with.
-Where are they?
-Don't worry. Fortunately last night a very trustworthy friend kept his eyes open. Perhaps he overstepped his function as a waiter but he fulfilled his duty as a Russian. I just put this on for sentiment. The rest are absolutely safe. I assure you. But if you feel like notifying the police...
-You leave me no choice.
-Won't it be rather embarrassing for a Soviet Envoy to disclose the circumstances under which she lost them?
-I will have to face the consequences, but so will you. Don't forget they will ask how you got them.
-They always belonged to the Russian people. They were paid for with their sweat, their blood, their lives and you will give them back!
-Now, let's free ourselves from emotionalism and try to solve the problem in a practical way. Our situation has changed considerably. Before I had only a claim to the jewels. Now I have the jewels.
-In other words moral ideas have no weight with you... all right, then let's deal with legal facts. You know that France has recognized the Soviet.
-Unfortunately.
-Under Soviet law the jewels belong to the State. France is going to uphold that ownership.
-My lawyer agrees with you. He says France will uphold it in every court, but I will drag you through every court, don't forget that. And when I say it will take two years I am, as always, conservative.
-Won't those two years in court be expensive for you? I know that money was no object as long as you could squeeze it from the pockets of the people, but now...
-I may run out of money, but you have already run out of bread. Two years is a long time for your comrades to wait.
-I see. You have calculated in terms of hunger.
-No, I just wanted to be absolutely impartial. Both of us are faced with two rather uncomfortable years. We can condense these two years to two minutes if you want to accept my proposition. Ninotchka now realizes what she is after.
-Go on.
-I am willing to hand over the jewels and sign the necessary papers if you take that five-forty plane to Moscow.
-That's not the way to win him back... not Leon.
-Here, please...
-What do you want?
-May I have your bags, madame?
-Well... that's my business, madame.
-That's no business... that's a social injustice.
-Good morning, Comrade.
-Good morning, Comrade Commissar. Here is my report on the materials available for trading in the next four months.
-Does this include the products of the Far Eastern provinces?
-Yes, it does.
-You mean you have finished the whole investigation?
-Yes.
-That's marvelous.... You must have worked day and night.... Don't you ever sleep?
-I need very little sleep. We must be extremely careful what goods we take in exchange. I have already started a survey of our most urgent needs.
-Well, Comrade, I am afraid you will have to turn over that work to someone else.
-May I ask why?
-Cigarette?
-Thank you.
-Well, Comrade, have you heard from your friends Kopalski, Buljanoff, and Iranoff?
-No.
-I haven't either, but I've heard about them. You must realize it was only on the strength of your Paris report that I sent them to Constantinople; without that I never would have trusted them on a mission as important as the fur deal.
-May I ask what has happened?
-Oh, they shouldn't do such things. Are you sure this report is correct?
-It gives details which couldn't be invented. Naturally I want to verify it and that's why I need you.
-You want me to go to Constantinople?
-Yes... leaving immediately.
-I appreciate the confidence you show in me, but I must ask you to entrust someone else with this mission. I should hate to interrupt my present work. I am positive that my survey is more important than finding out whether three of our comrades have been drinking some extra glasses of champagne.
-That is for me to decide, Comrade Yakushova.
-I am sorry, I don't want to overstep my position -- but please... don't send me.
-I don't understand.
-How can I make myself clear... It is difficult to express but I'd rather not go to foreign countries any more. Please, Comrade... let me stay here... let me finish my work... I am in the rhythm of it now... I don't want to go away. I don't want to be sent into that foreign atmosphere again. It throws one out of gear.... Let
-Please don't waste my time, Comrade. Do your duty. Good-by.
-This way, madame. Are you alone? By the window perhaps? Or a nice little corner table?
-This will do.
-I think this is the first time you have been to my little place. Your face is new to me. Now, what shall it be?
-Raw carrots and beets.
-Bring me something simple. I never think about food.
-But, madame! If you don't think about food what do you think about?
-The future of the common people.
-Where to, madame?
-Can you recommend a restaurant?
-Well, there's Pruniers if you care for seafood. If you want to lunch in the Bois, there's...
-Where do you eat?
-At Père Mathieu's.
-Where is that?
-It's just a place for workmen.
-Where is it?
-Your Highness.
-How do you do, my friend.
-Your Highness, forgive this intrusion, but...
-What is it, Rakonin? Did you lose your job?
-No, madame, something of the utmost importance... it concerns your jewels.
-My jewels?!
-I remember one birthday of His Majesty, our beloved Czar... I had the honor of being on guard at the summer palace... I still see you bending before His Majesty... You wore your diadem and a necklace... your face seemed to be lighted by the jewels.
-Why do you bring this up after so many years?
-They are here!... Your jewels!... Here in Paris!
-Alexis! Do you know what you are saying?
-I am sorry... I have to leave.
-Sir, the charges are serious -- first, abuse of power; second, obstruction of justice; third, failure to cooperate with Congress; and last, bombing Cambodia ...
-Sir, if I may ... echo my concern ...
-You're lawyers. How can you let this shit go by! Look! This? Nixon can't say this.
-You did say it, sir.
-We could check the tape again, sir.
-For Christ's sake, it soils my mother's memory. Do you think I want the whole goddamn world to see my mother like this? Raising a dirty mouth!
-Mr. President, I don't know what to say. As soon as we learned from the Secret Service you were en route, the Director was notified. He should be here any minute.
-Where the hell is he?
-Uh, he's rushing back from his tennis game, sir ...
-So ... let's go ...
-He told me to take you to his conference room.
-No. His office. I want a very private conversation. I don't want to be bugged.
-How's the job coming, Bob?
-Frankly, sir, it stinks. I have no access. I'm lucky Helms lets me have a staff.
-We'll see about that ...
-He's nervous, sir. He's heard you're looking for a new director.
-Well, he certainly isn't acting like it.
-That's Helms. He's "sang froid," a world-class poker player.
-The bigger problem I see is this guy who was arrested, McCord -- James McCord -- he headed up security for the Committee to Re-Elect. He turns out to be ex-CIA.
-So, what about those Watergate clowns, John? This fuck Sirica's crazy. Thirty-five-year sentences! There were no weapons. Right? No injuries. There was no success! It's just ridiculous.
-Sirica's just trying to force one of them to testify. But they're solid.
-Mr. President, Hunt wants more money. Another hundred-and-thirty thousand.
-Son of a bitch.
-He says if he doesn't get it right away, he's going to blow us out of the water. And he means it. Ever since his wife died in the plane crash, he's been over the edge.
-Executive clemency ...
-What?
-Hunt has nothing to lose now. Pardon all of them. Nobody's going to investigate a crime for which the criminals have already been pardoned.
-Mitchell? Mitchell's ... family.
-How much do you need?
-Uh, I would say these people are going to cost a million dollars over the next two years ...
-We could get that.
-Uh huh ...
-I'm still not confident we can ride through this. Some people are going to have to go to jail. Hunt's not the only problem. Haldeman let me use the $350,000 cash fund in his safe to make the payments. Ehrlichman had a role, a big role, in the Ellsberg break-in. And I'm ... uh, I think it's time we begin to think in terms
-You say, John, cut our losses and all the rest. But suppose the thing blows and they indict Bob and the others. Jesus, you'd never recover from that, John. It's better to fight it out instead, and not let people testify ...
-Sir, I still don't think, uh, we can contain it anymore. There's a cancer on the presidency. And it's growing. With every day that ...
-Jesus, everything is a crisis among the upper intellectual types, the softheads. The average people don't think it's much of a crisis. For Christ's sake, it's not Vietnam ... no one's dying here. Isn't it ridiculous?
-I agree it's ridiculous but --
-He's right. Maybe it's time to go to the hang-out route, John. A full and thorough investigation ... We've cooperated with the FBI, we'll cooperate with the Senate. What do we have to hide?
-No, we have nothing to hide.
-You want me to put it all in writing? Over my signature?
-I'm not going to be the scapegoat for this. Haldeman and Ehrlichman are in just as deep as me.
-John, you don't want to start down that road. I remember what Whittaker Chambers told me back in '48 -- and he was a man who suffered greatly -- he said, "On the road of the informer, it's always night." This is beyond you or even me. It's the country, John. It's the presidency.
-I understand that, sir.
-I was sorry to hear about your wife.
-Yes ... I got the money.
-The President would like to know if that was the last payment.
-I'll bet he would.
-Is it?
-How the hell do you have the temerity to blackmail the President of the United States?
-That's not the question, John. The question is: Why is he paying?
-To protect his people.
-I'm one of his people. The Cubans are his people. And we're going to jail for him.
-Howard, you'll serve no more than two years, then he'll pardon you.
-It was her wrist. And it was through a plate-glass door.
-Let's not forget they're just kids, they don't vote.
-Yeah ... Sullivan thinks Henry's leaking. He's the one ...
-Who's gonna tell Mitchell?
-You do it.
-Why me?
-'Cause he hates you. It's worse when you get it from someone you trust.
-He's wrong, you know -- about Kennedy, LBJ, Truman.
-How so?
-Sure, they did stuff, but nothing like this, Bob. Forget Watergate, the break-ins, the Enemies list. You got an attempted firebombing at the Brookings Institution, planting McGovern stuff on the guy that shot Wallace, trying to slip LSD to Jack Anderson.
-The "Old Man" plays politics harder than anybody else.
-It's a code or something.
-I figured that out.
-I think he means the Kennedy assassination.
-Yeah?
-They went after Castro. In some crazy way it got turned on Kennedy. I don't think the "P" knows what happened, but he's afraid to find out. It's got him shitting peach pits.
-Eight words back in '72 -- "I covered up. I was wrong. I'm sorry" -- and the American public would've forgiven him. But we never opened our mouths, John. We failed him.
-Dick Nixon saying "I'm sorry"? That'll be the day. The whole suit of armor'd fall off.
-Colson doesn't know about it; he's pure as a virgin on this one. It's just not clear the burglars knew what they were looking for. They were heading to McGovern's office later that night.
-Jesus! Did Mitchell know?
-Mitchell's out of his mind now. Martha just put her head through a plate-glass window.
-Martha's an idiot, she'll do anything to get John's attention. If Mitchell'd been minding the store instead of that nut Martha we wouldn't have that kid Magruder runnin' some third-rate burglary! Was he smoking pot?
-Mitchell?
-McCord? ...
-I don't have time for all this shit! Just handle it, Bob! Keep it out of the White House. What else? Kissinger's waiting -- he's gonna throw a tantrum again if I don't see him, threatening to quit ... again.
-Well, sir ... it turns out -- one of the people implicated is still, you see, on our White House payroll.
-Hunt? Howard Hunt?
-Goddamn! How long have we had this fucking dog?! Two years, he still doesn't come! We need a dog that looks happy when the press is around.
-I like it. I like the idea.
-Is it legal? I mean has anyone ever done it before?
-Where's Hunt now?
-In hiding. He sent Liddy to talk to me.
-And?
-He wants money.
-Pay him.
-Pay him? I told him to get out of the country. It's crazy to start ...
-It's more than that. It could be more than that. I want Hunt paid.
-Uh, we've never done this before, sir ... How do we pay? In ... hundreds? Do you fill a black bag full of unmarked bills?
-This is not a joke, John!
-No, sir.
-Oh, I suppose you would've just let them take over. These aren't fraternity pranks, John. It's anarchy. A revolution!
-I don't know if I'd go that far, sir.
-Why not?
-Is the war worth it? Is it worth a one-term presidency? Because I think right now that's what we're looking at.
-Excuse me ... Are you talking about recognizing China, Mr. President? That would cost us our strongest support.
-We can't touch Hoover --
-I thought the gloves were off.
-The soldiers were provoked. The students started it, for Christ's sake!
-He's in the dumps, sir. Agnew. Every time you have him attack the press, they give it back to him in spades. He's become the most hated man in America.
-He's begging for a meeting, chief. He wants to go overseas for awhile.
-The country's loving it.
-No, you didn't, Bob.
-I would personally enjoy doing that, sir.
-I end the longest war in American history and they keep harping on this chickenshit! You know who's behind this, don't you -- it's Teddy Kennedy! He drowns a broad in his car and he can't run for president.
-He got pretty burned at Chappaquiddick.
-What about England?
-It'll never wash. Pardoning them means we're guilty. The people, the press will go nuts.
-I don't know, I don't know ... I just know we've made too many enemies.
-Sir, Bob and I are gonna have to testify before Earvin's committee.
-No, you're not! You're going to claim executive privilege and you're going to stonewall it all the way -- plead the Fifth Amendment. I don't give a shit. They can't force the President's people to testify.
-Executive privilege will make it look like we're covering up.
-This is June twentieth?
-Sorry ...
-... Y'know Al, if Hoover was alive none of this would've happened. He would've protected the President.
-Mr. Hoover was a realist.
-I trusted Mitchell. It was that damn big mouth wife of his.
-At least Mitchell stood up to it.
-May I say something, Mr. President?
-There's no secrets here, Al.
-No, sir, you did not.
-You're all set, sir. Just push this button. Good night, Mr. President.
-You know, Al, men in your profession ... you give 'em a pistol and you leave the room.
-I don't have a pistol.
-Exactly! We've got to take the war to them. Hit 'em where it hurts -- right in the nuts. More assassinations, more killings. Right, Al?
-That's what they're doing.
-It's the President's personal property! I will never give up my tapes to a bunch of Kennedy-loving Harvard Democrat cocksuckers!
-This could trigger the impeachment. They'll go to the Supreme Court next.
-Let 'em try! I appointed three of those bastards! I'm not giving 'em my tapes!
-Can the president afford to ignore a subpoena?
-Who the fuck does Cox think he is? I never made a dime from public office! I'm honest. My dad died broke. You know the sonofabitch went to law school with Jack Kennedy? ... The last gasp of the Establishment! They got the hell kicked out of 'em in the election, so now they gotta squeal about Watergate 'cause we were the first real
-Congress is considering four articles of impeachment, sir.
-About a dozen.
-Who?
-Cox! Fire him.
-Richardson won't do that. He'll resign.
-... an action that will at last, once and for all, show that what I knew and what I did with regard to the Watergate break-in and cover-up were just as I have described them to you from the very beginning ...
-He's completely lost touch with reality.
-"Victory at Sea," Al ... Henry. The Pacific Theatre. Christ, you can almost feel the waves breaking over the decks.
-June twenty-third, '72, sir. The part that's underlined. Your instructions to Haldeman regarding the CIA and the FBI.
-So?
-Your lawyers feel it's the ... "smoking gun."
-It's totally out of context. I was protecting the national security. I never intended --
-Sir, the deadline is today.
-Can we get around this, Al?
-If you resign, you can keep your tapes as a private citizen ... You can fight them for years.
-The army?
-Lincoln used it.
-That was civil war.
-We can't survive this, sir. They also have you instructing Dean to make the payoff to Hunt.
-There is nothing in that statement the President can't explain.
-Sir, you talked about opening up the whole "Bay of Pigs" thing again.
-That's right ...
-Three days before, on the June twentieth tape -- the one with the eighteen-minute gap --
-I don't know anything about that.
-... you mentioned the "Bay of Pigs" several times. Sooner or later they're going to want to know what that means. They're going to want to know what was on that gap ...
-... they smelled the blood on me this time, Al. I got soft. You know ... that rusty, metallic smell ...
-I know it well, sir.
-It came over from Vietnam, you know.
-Sir?
-They did what?! I don't understand. Why'd they go into O'Brien's office in the first place?
-But O'Brien doesn't even use that office. The Democrats've moved to Miami. There's nothing there!
-It was just a fishing expedition. Apparently it was their fourth attempt at the DNC.
-Their fourth!
-It's possible they were looking for evidence of an illegal Howard Hughes donation to the Democrats, so the Democrats couldn't make an issue of your Hughes money.
-We feel the bigger concern is Gordon Liddy ...
-That fruitcake! What about him?
-Well, you know, sir, he's a nut. He used to work here with the "Plumbers" and now he's running this Watergate caper. You remember his plan to firebomb the Brookings using Cubans as firemen? He wanted to buy a damned fire truck! Magruder thinks he's just nutty enough to go off the reservation.
-What's Liddy got?
-He works for Colson. He used him on the Pentagon Papers. We're trying to figure out when he officially stopped being a White House consultant. After the arrest he dumped his wiretapping stuff into his White House safe.
-On the list of horribles, I know what he is. And I know what he tracks back to. You say he was involved in the Plumbers?
-Definitely. Colson had him trying to break into Bremer's apartment after Bremer shot Wallace, to plant McGovern campaign literature.
-I had nothing to do with that. Was he ... in the Ellsberg thing?
-Yes, you approved it, sir.
-I did?
-It was right after the Pentagon Papers broke. They went in to get his psychiatric records.
-Fucking hell.
-Well, why not?
-Howard Hunt? ... Jesus Christ, you open up that scab ... and you uncover a lot of pus.
-But what are we paying him for?
-Silence!
-But, sir, you're covered -- no one here gave orders to break into the damned Watergate. We're clean. It's only the Ellsberg thing, and if that comes out, it's "national security."
-"Security" is not strong enough.
-How about a COMINT classification? We put it on the Huston plan. Even the designation is classified.
-"National security priority restricted and controlled secret."
-Should we talk to Trini about paying these guys? Or maybe Chotiner?
-Bob, did I approve the Ellsberg thing? You know, I'm glad we tape all these conversations because ... I never approved that break-in at Ellsberg's psychiatrist. Or maybe I approved it after the fact? Someday we've got to start transcribing the tapes.
-You approved that before the fact, because I went over it with you. But ...
-Uh, no one, of course, is going to see these tapes, but ...
-We've got to turn off the FBI. You just go to the CIA, Bob, and tell Helms that Howard Hunt is blackmailing the President. Tell him that Hunt and his Cuban friends know too damn much, and if he goes public, it would be a fiasco for the CIA. He'll know what I'm talking about.
-All right.
-Play it tough. That's the way they play it and that's the way we're going to play it. Don't lie to Helms and say there's no involvement, but just say this is sort of a comedy of errors, bizarre, without getting into it. Say the President believes it's going to open up the whole Bay of Pigs thing again. Tell Helms he should call
-The Bay of Pigs? ... That was Kennedy's screw-up. How does that threaten us?
-Just do what I say, Bob.
-Yes, sir, but ... do you think Gray'll go for it?
-Pat Gray'll do anything we ask him. That's why I appointed him.
-He'll need a pretext. He'll never figure one out for himself.
-Christ, you're right -- Gray makes Jerry Ford look like Mozart. Just have Helms call him. Helms can scare anybody.
-The only problem with that, sir -- it gets us into obstruction of justice.
-It's got nothing to do with justice. It's national security.
-How is this national security?
-I suppose you thought the Presidency was above this sort of thing.
-Sir?
-This isn't a "moral" issue, Bob. We have to keep our enemies at bay or our whole program is gonna go down the tubes. The FBI is filled with people who are pissed that I put Gray in and not one of their own. Vietnam, China, the Soviet Union: when you look at the big picture, Bob, you'll see we're doing a hell of
-I'll talk to Helms. Oh, Pat asked if you're coming to the Residence for dinner tonight.
-No, no, not tonight. Don't let her in here. I have too much to do.
-... When we consider the lineup of the world, we find there are 590 million people on our side, 800 million on the Communist side, and 600 million who are neutral. The odds are 5 to 3 against us ...
-I think ... I think ... that's the sort of very dangerous and irresponsible suggestion that ... helping the Cuban exiles who oppose Castro would, uh ... not only be a violation of international law, it would be ...
-He's treading water. Don't mention Khrushchev.
-Meanwhile, what happens to the country?
-Where are they?
-Dick, you don't have to make a statement. Herb covered it for you.
-Cue the crowd. Go to the woman's group. Get the bald guy, he's great ...
-He wasn't protecting me. He was putting me on notice.
-What? That he knew Johnny Roselli? Hoover knew a lot of gangsters.
-I don't understand. Track 2's Chile?
-The first assassination attempt was in '60, just before the election.
-Before?! Eisenhower approved that?
-He didn't veto it. I ran the White House side. The mob contact was Johnny Roselli. One of the CIA guys was that jackass, Howard Hunt.
-Jesus!
-And not just Hunt. Frank Sturgis, all those Cubans. All of them in the Watergate. They were involved in Track 2 in Cuba. Hunt reported to my military aide. But I met with him several times as Vice President. That's what worries the shit out of me. I don't know how much Hunt knows. Or the Cubans.
-So? You wanted Castro dead. Everybody wanted Castro dead. If Hunt and the others are CIA, why don't we just throw this back in the CIA's lap? Let Richard Helms take the fall?
-Alright. But why, if Kennedy is so clean in all this, didn't he cancel Track 2?
-... he'd just found out about Track 2.
-You never told him?
-If they didn't tell Kennedy about Track 2, how did Hoover find out?
-Well, one way or the other, Kent State is not good. We have to get out in front of this thing. The PR is going to murder us.
-Money. Follow the money.
-Sir?
-... never complain, never explain, John ...
-... and we've got the economic guys at five. The Dow lost another 16 points. They're going to want a decision on the budget. Sir? ... Are we holding the line on a balanced budget?
-No ... a little deficit won't hurt. Jesus, they're serious. Why're we stopping?
-Get that little fucker! Great tackle! Reminds me of my days at Whittier. Most of these kids are useless.
-Probably flunking, nothing to do except come down here and meet girls. Henry's out there with them.
-There's a poison in the upper classes, Bob. They've had it too soft. Too many cars, too many color TVs ...
-Don't forget the South, sir, the West. Filled with the good football colleges, straight kids. There's more of 'em with you than against you. Not like these mudmutts.
-But, hell, this is nothing compared to Venezuela. When I was Vice President, Ike sent me down there like a blocking back. They threw rocks, broke out our windows, almost overturned the car. Read Six Crises, Bob. Boy, Pat was brave!
-Mr. President!
-We really must go, Mr. President.
-She got it, Bob. A nineteen-year-old college kid ...
-What?
-She understood something it's taken me twenty-five fucking years in politics to understand. The CIA, the Mafia, the Wall Street bastards ...
-Sir?
-And his staff. Come on, the copy they were filing from China was great.
-The Jews aren't the middle, Henry. They're the far left.
-You're talking too much about black Africa, Henry. It's killing us with the rednecks.
-The blacks are lost, the "schwartzes" are gone ...
-Gentlemen, I think it's about time for us to be getting to the airport.
-You know, they all miss the point. Probably our biggest achievement as an administration, when it's all said and done, isn't China or Russia. It's pulling out of Vietnam without a right wing revolt.
-I believe you're right, boss.
-... but even the presidency isn't enough anymore ...
-Sir?
-Congratulations, boss. A great victory! The madman theory wasn't so crazy after all.
-So that explains his press notices. Working both sides of the fence: Jewboy Henry, always trying to get his Nobel Prize, get laid ...
-My God, my God! He talked to the New York Times?
-Because they're not Americans.
-Right. They don't trust! They don't trust America!
-You know why they're turning on me? They're not serious about power, that's why. They're playing with power. They're forgetting the national interest. In the old days, people knew how to hold power, how to set limits. They wouldn't have torn this country apart over a third-rate burglary. All they care about now are their egos, looking good at cocktail parties ...
-... beating out the other papers, chasing girls ...
-You played it perfectly, sir -- cocksucker! He's going to think twice before he leaks again.
-We've got to turn the faucet off on this thing. It's out of control ... You might burden just me with this in the future.
-It's Helms -- it's got to be.
-We could leverage Helms.
-How?
-... I was wondering what's such dynamite in this Bay of Pigs story? ... although it was clearly effective, because all of a sudden it was no problem for Helms to go to the FBI and try to put a lid on Watergate.
-What about the documents he promised?
-I promised Iran to Townsend.
-Put Townsend in Belgium; it's available.
-Helms wants Iran or there might be problems. All of his old CIA buddies are over there making a fortune off the Shah.
-More light, chief?
-... There can be no whitewash at the White House ... two wrongs do not make a right. I love America. God bless America and God bless each and every one of you.
-Richard ... come with me, would you ...
-Because Harold tests thy father's will is no reason to admire him. Let Harold's worldliness be a warning to thee, not an example.
-Yes, Mother ...
-Do not tell a lie, Richard ... The cornsilk cigarette Harold gave thee behind the store this morning.
-I don't ... have them. Mother ... I swear, I ... didn't smoke.
-I see ... Well then, Richard, we have nothing more to talk about, do we?
-Please, Mother, it ... it was just one time, Mother, I'm ... I'm sorry.
-So am I. Thy father will have to know of thy lying.
-No, no! Please, don't. Don't tell him. I'll never do it again. I promise. I promise ... Please, mama ...
-Please! I'll never let you down again, Mother. Never. I promise.
-Then this shall be our little secret. Remember that I see into thy soul as God sees. Thou may fool the world. Even thy father. But not me, Richard. Never me.
-We haven't said grace yet. Richard.
-I can't ...
-It's a gift, Richard. This law school is a gift from your brother.
-Did he have to die for me to get it?!
-It's meant to make us stronger. Thou art stronger than Harold ... stronger than Arthur. God has chosen thee to survive ...
-What about happiness, Mother?
-What'd he say?
-What do you think? He said in life there's no free ride.
-What'd you say?
-Oh, no, Harold. He doesn't respond well to humor. Maybe if you talk to Mother she can ...
-Hey ... you'll be able to do it now.
-What ... ?
-Mom expects great things from you ...
-Relax, Dick, it's just me ... The desert's so beautiful, isn't it? I want to go home, Dick. Time to go home.
-I'm honored, Dick, that you've come all this way out here to Virginia to visit us at last.
-My friends call me "Mister President."
-Robert Cushman is a lieutenant general in the Marine Corps, the Deputy Director of the CIA ... and this is what you use him for?
-I suppose, "Mister President," you're unhappy that we have not implemented your Domestic Intelligence plan, but ...
-You're correct. I'm concerned these students are being funded by foreign interests, whether they know it or not. The FBI is worthless in this area. I want your full concentration on this matter ...
-Of course we've tried, but so far we've come up with nothing that ...
-Then find something. And I want these leaks stopped. Jack fucking Anderson, the New York Times, the State Department -- I want to know who's talking to them.
-I'm sure you realize this is a very tricky area, Mr. President, given our charter and the congressional oversight committees ...
-Is there something else that's bothering you, Mr. President?
-You're referring, of course, to chairing the Special Operations Group as Vice President.
-Diem? Trujillo? Lumumba? Guatemala? Cuba? ... It's a shame you didn't take similar precautions, Dick.
-President Kennedy threatened to smash the CIA into a thousand pieces. You could do the same ...
-I'm not Jack Kennedy. Your agency is secure.
-Not if I give you all the cards ...
-I promised the American people peace with honor in Southeast Asia. That could take time -- two, maybe three years ... In the meantime, your agency will continue at current levels of funding.
-Current levels may not be sufficient.
-And me? ...
-Firing you, Mr. Helms, wouldn't do any good. Of course you'll continue as DCI. You're doing a magnificent job.
-And of course I accept. I'm flattered. And I want you to know, I work for only one president at a time.
-Yes. And you will give General Cushman full access.
-It will take a little time, but I'll order a search for your papers. Though it does raise a disturbing issue.
-What?
-Mr. Castro.
-Yes.
-We have recent intelligence that a Soviet nuclear submarine has docked at Cienfuegos.
-Well, we'll lodge a formal protest.
-Are you tapping Kissinger?
-My job, unpleasant sometimes, is to know what others don't want me to know.
-Not if you have spies in the White House, it isn't your job.
-It is not my practice to spy on the president. Doctor Kissinger manages to convey his innermost secrets to the world at large on his own.
-Mr. Helms, we've lived with Communism in Cuba for ten years ...
-... But it has never been the policy of this government to accept that. And it is certainly not CIA policy.
-CIA policy? The CIA has no policy, Mr. Helms. Except what I dictate to you ... I try to adjust to the world as it is today, not as you or I wanted it to be ten years ago.
-This is an extremely dangerous direction, Mr. President. Terrible consequences can result from such enormous errors in judgement.
-But ... if we were able to separate China from Russia once and for all, we can -- we could create a balance of power that would secure the peace into the next century.
-By offering Cuba to the Russians as a consolation prize?
-Cuba would be a small price to pay.
-I never thought Jack was ready for the presidency. But I would never, never consider ... His death was awful, an awful thing for this country. Do you ever think of death, Mr. Helms?
-Flowers are continual reminders of our mortality. Do you appreciate flowers?
-No. They make me sick. They smell like death ... I had two brothers die young. But let me tell you, there are worse things than death. There is such a thing as evil.
-You must be familiar with my favorite poem by Yeats? "The Second Coming"?
-No.
-What do you think this plan is, Edgar? A nuclear attack?
-I want to see him tomorrow, Clyde.
-Edgar, think twice. He works in the kitchen.
-Not Joaquin, you idiot. Nixon. Did you hear what he said in Oregon? About me having too much power.
-It's between Nixon and a Kennedy again, Edgar ... Who do you want?
-... little Bobby.
-Ummm...
-It was the poorest lemon ranch in California, I can tell you that. My father sold it before they found oil on it.
-My father built the house where I was born with his own hands. Oh, it wasn't a big house ...
-Thank you for coming, Dick.
-Winning?
-Oh, my goodness ...
-How about you? Are you going to win?
-Can't we just talk here? I've got the police chiefs in San Diego.
-Roselli? Johnny Roselli?
-Yes. Your old friend from Cuba.
-I never met the man.
-You'll win the nomination.
-Or he'll steal it like his brother. He's a mean little sonofabitch, Edgar ... He had the IRS audit my mother when she was dying in a nursing home.
-Yeah, well, as I said, Edgar ...
-You asked if you could count on my support ... As long as I can count on yours.
-There must be a quarter-million out there, Edgar. They've been at it now for a year. Young kids just like Tricia. I don't know. Do you think they have a point, Edgar? Maybe this whole damned system of government is ...
-Remember what Lenin said in 1917, Mr. President: "The power was lying in the streets just waiting for someone to pick it up." The Communists have never been closer. Now is the time to go back to the old themes, the ones that made you president. Let the Communists know you're onto them.
-The little bastards think they can ruin Tricia's wedding day by dancing naked in the Reflecting Pond.
-Don't listen to 'em, don't quit. Remember - Kennedy, Bobby, and King were against the war. Where are they now? Don't give 'em a goddamn inch on the war. President Johnson bombed Laos for years and nobody knew or said a thing. How the hell the Times ever got ahold of this Ellsberg stuff is a disgrace!
-We can't keep a goddamn secret in this government, Edgar. They're stealing papers right out of his office.
-Johnson had the same damned problem till he bugged his own office.
-We took his system out.
-That was a mistake. The White House was full of Kennedy people then. It still is.
-Who do you think is behind it?
-Well, you have CIA people all over the place. Helms has seen to that. Then there's Kissinger's staff. Kissinger himself, I believe, maybe the leaker.
-Kissinger?
-He's obsessed with his own image. He wants his Nobel Peace Prize a little too much. As the late "Doctor" King proved -- even an ape can win a prize with good press.
-Jesus, I'd like to book him into a psychiatrist's office. He comes in here ranting and raving, dumping his crap all over the place ... Could you prove it, Edgar?
-I always get my man.
-Yeah, you do. I'd be bugging myself, Edgar ... Who'd get the tapes?
-This damned tie ... Will you help me, Edgar? Churchill used to say to me, "If you want your own history written properly, you must write it yourself." All right, Edgar, but just don't let it come back to haunt me.
-How the fuck did you know?
-Injections. Even this noble sport's been fixed. Seen the guys?
-Why, you got a customer?
-The White House.
-You're fucking me.
-We're gonna be plumbers, Frank. We're gonna plug a leak.
-Who we working for?
-Where'd you find him?
-Just don't tell him to do anything you don't really want him to do.
-So, does Tricky Dick know about this?
-Howard ... What the hell? What're you doing?
-Mein Kampf?
-"A warrior with nerves of steel is yet broken by a thread of silk." Nietzsche.
-Personally I'd prefer a greyhound with a shot of speed.
-Let's get the fuck out of here, shall we, ladies?
-Anything goes wrong, head for your homes, just sit tight -- you'll hear from me or Howard.
-Thanks, Jack. You sure throw a helluva party.
-Party ain't started yet, Dick. Got these gals coming over to the ranch later for a little private "thing," y'know ... There's some fellows I want you to meet.
-Like you said Jack, I'm just a New York lawyer now.
-I know for a fact that the one with the big tits is a Republican, and she'd do anything for the Party.
-She's quite pretty.
-By the way, Jack, this looks like a pretty straight-forward transaction to me, but we should get into it soon -- just take a few minutes, maybe up at the house ...
-Hell, Kennedy's pissed Cuba away to the Russians. And he don't know what the hell he's doing in Vietnam. These are dangerous times, Dick, especially for business ...
-Gentlemen, I tried. I told Kennedy to go into Cuba. He heard me and he made his decision. I appreciate your sentiments. I've heard them from many fine Cuban patriots, but it's nothing I can do anything about. Now, it's a long drive back to Dallas tonight, and Trini and I have got an early flight tomorrow to New York ...
-Dick, these boys want you to run. They're serious. They can deliver the South and they can put Texas in your column. That would've done it in '60.
-Only if Kennedy dumps Johnson.
-That sonofabitch Kennedy is coming back down here tomorrow. Dick, we're willing to put up a shitpot fulla money to get rid of him -- more money'n you ever dreamed of.
-So, what's this about, Dick?
-It's me or Wallace, Jack. Wallace's third party is only going to help McGovern. I need your support.
-It looks like to me we're gonna lose the war for the first goddamned time and, Dick, goddamn it, you're going along with it, buying into this Kissinger bullshit -- "detente" with the Communists. "Detente" -- it sounds like two fags dancing.
-Jack, we're not living in the same country you and I knew in '46. Our people are just not gonna sacrifice in major numbers for war. We can't even get 'em to accept cuts in their gas tanks. Hell, the Arabs and the Japanese are bleeding the shit out of our gold ..
-And whose fault is that? If we'd won in Vietnam ...
-Desi's got a point. What the hell are we gonna do about the Communists right here in our backyard?!
-What do you mean, Jack?
-... And now I have a federal judge ordering me to bus my kids halfway 'cross town to go to school with some nigger kids. I think, Mr. President, you're forgetting who put you where you are.
-Because if you're uncomfortable with the EPA up your ass, try the IRS ...
-Well, goddamn. Are you threatening me, Dick?
-Mr. President, we are in a revolutionary situation. We are under siege -- Black Panthers, Weathermen; The State Department under Rogers is leaking like a sieve. And now this insignificant little shit Ellsberg publishing all the diplomatic secrets of this country will destroy our ability to conduct foreign policy.
-Fuck it! He doesn't like me, John! It's your fault, Henry.
-I beg your pardon --
-It's your people who are leaking to the Times. Wasn't this Ellsberg a student of yours at Harvard? He was your idea; why are you suddenly running for cover?
-He was, he was. We taught a class together at Harvard. But you know these back-stabbing Ivy League intellectuals, they can't ...
-No, Henry. I don't.
-Who are you talking to like this, you insignificant shit ...
-Alright, Henry -- we're gonna go your way. Crush this Ellsberg character the same way we did Hiss!
-There's no other choice.
-... as the old alliances crumble.
-Finally someone who's noticed! I'm a great admirer of yours, too, Mr. Nixon. You are an unusual politician. We share a mutual idol -- "Six Crises" sounds like a page from Churchill.
-Churchill, DeGaulle, Disraeli. They all went through the pain of losing power.
-Well, as you know, most of my staff have weighed in against this "incursion." They believe it will fail to achieve anything fundamental militarily, and will result in crushing criticism domestically ...
-I didn't ask what your staff thinks, Henry. What do you think?
-Exactly, sir. That is your historical contribution: to lead boldly in an era of limits.
-That's triangular diplomacy, gentlemen.
-Exactly, yes, Mr. President. That is my contention.
-This will get me a second term. Damn it, without risk, there's no heroism. There's no history. I, Nixon, was born to do this.
-Mr. President, this cannot be breathed! Especially to our secretary of state -- that cretin Rogers ... The Chinese would never trust us again. The only way, I emphasize only way, to pull this off is in secret.
-That's right! And if necessary, I'll drop the big one.
-You'll pick up the middle on this one - the Jews and Negros.
-Housecleaning? It would be ugly, Henry, really ugly ...
-But it must be done; your government is paralyzed.
-All kinds of shit would come out. Like the Ellsberg thing. You knew about that, Henry, didn't you?
-I ... I heard something ... It sounded idiotic.
-That doesn't matter now, Henry. The point is, you might lose some of your media-darling halo if the press starts sniffing around our dirty laundry.
-I had nothing to do with that, sir, and I resent any implication ...
-Mr. Nixon, it is possible for even a president to go too far.
-Can you imagine what this man would have been had he ever been loved?
-... because people have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I am not a crook. I have never made a dime from public service ...
-Yes, you always had a good sense of timing, Henry. When to give and when to take. How do you think Mao, Brezhnev will react? Do you think this is how they'll remember me, Henry, after all the great things you and I did together? As some kind of ... of ... crooks?
-They will understand, sir. To be undone by a third-rate burglary is a fate of biblical proportions. History will treat you far more kindly than your contemporaries.
-If they harass you, I, too, will resign. And I will tell the world why.
-Don't be stupid. The world needs you, Henry; you always saw the big picture. You were my equal in many ways. You're the only friend I've got, Henry.
-You have many friends ... and admirers ...
-Do you ever pray? You know ... believe in a Supreme Being?
-Uh ... not really. You mean on my knees?
-... Uh, I hope this doesn't embarrass you.
-Not at all. This is not going to leak, is it?
-You know, Mr. Chairman, at Harvard I used your writings in my class.
-What a waste of time. My writings mean absolutely nothing.
-But your writings have changed the world, Mr. Chairman.
-Fung pi! I've only managed to change a few things around the city of Beijing. I want to know your secret.
-Secret, Mr. Chairman?
-I was asleep, Mr. President. What can I get you?
-Just ... uh ... you know.
-Do you miss Cuba, Manolo?
-Yes, Mr. President.
-We let you down, didn't we. Your people.
-That was Mr. Kennedy.
-He was a politician.
-Did you cry when he died?
-Yes.
-Why?
-I don't know. He made me see the stars ...
-I must say you look very good, Mr. Chairman.
-Looks can be deceiving ...
-Don't ever trust them. They never tell the truth or honor their commitments. Vietnamese are like Russians. Both are dogs.
-Mr. Chairman, there is an old saying: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
-You know, I voted for you in your last election.
-You're too modest, Nixon. You're as evil as I am. We're both from poor families. But others pay to feed the hunger in us. In my case, millions of reactionaries. In your case, millions of Vietnamese.
-Civil war is always the cruelest kind of war.
-Yes, well ... Gentlemen, I promised my wife. I'm out of politics.
-You just came down here for the weather, right, Mr. Nixon?
-So ... how's the food over there in China, Mr. Nixon?
-What are you going to do about this Allende fellow nationalizing our businesses in Chile? You gonna send Kissinger down there?
-We're gonna get rid of him -- Allende, I mean -- just as fast as we can. He's on the top of the list.
-How about Kissinger along with him?
-We can prosecute the New York Times, go for an injunction ...
-It was illegal, what he did.
-The lie?
-And Dick beat the shit out of them.
-But I wouldn't have if Hiss hadn't lied about knowing Chambers. The documents were old and out of date, like these Pentagon Papers. The key thing we proved was that Hiss was a liar. Then people bought it that he was a spy. It's the lie that gets you.
-Hiss was protecting his wife. I've always believed that.
-Sorry, Dick. She's a little tipsy.
-You mean smashed! She called up at midnight last week. Talking a bunch of crap. Pat can't stand her.
-It's a thing she does. She talks at night.
-Talks all day, too! How the hell can you put up with her, John?
-Rocky's full of shit! No way he's going to get nominated west of the Hudson with a new wife. He's gonna be drinking Scotches in retirement at some goddamn country club with the rest of the Republicans.
-Goes to show you all the moolah in the world can't buy you a brain.
-Well, he seems to have bought Kissinger.
-The Jewboy's a Harvard whore with the morals of an eel -- sells himself to the highest bidder.
-You're the one who should be in politics, John. You're tougher than I am. You never crack.
-That'll be the day.
-Let's get out of here; it's too painful. I hate it. We went bowling last weekend. Next weekend we're going to the zoo. Whoever said there was life after politics was full of shit.
-Uh, wait ...
-You need her, Dick -- in '60 she was worth five, six million votes.
-How many?
-Four. Two boys. Two girls. And eight wounded.
-Jesus Christ!
-One of the fathers was on the TV saying, "My child was not a bum." And it's playing like gangbusters. Hell, Hoover told me one of the girls was a nymph.
-This isn't '48, Dick. They'll never buy it.
-You all right?
-My brother Harold was about the same age as those kids, John. Tuberculosis got him.
-It wasn't your fault. The soldiers were just kids, too. They panicked.
-They were throwing rocks, John, just rocks. They don't think I feel ... but I feel too much sometimes. I just can't let a whole policy get dominated by our sentimentality.
-You're doing the right thing, Dick ... don't let 'em shake you.
-It broke my heart when Harold died.
-Get off that. That leads nowhere. You should offer condolences to the families of those kids.
-... give me a break, Mary.
-But it was all we had.
-Edgar, wonderful to see you. Clyde ... hi.
-... Somebody should shoot the little bastard.
-I wanna fight just as dirty as he does.
-... Use his women.
-Hi, I'm Dick Nixon.
-You're shittin' me.
-Where you from?
-Syracuse.
-The Orangemen! Now there's a football program. Jim Brown. And that other tailback ... The one with the blood disease ...
-Ernie Davis.
-What you have to understand, Mr. Nixon, is that we are willing to die for what we believe in.
-Come on, man -- Vietnam ain't Germany. It doesn't threaten us. It's a civil war between the Vietnamese.
-Hi.
-That's Julie ... and that's Tricia. She, uh, reminds me a little bit of you ...
-... I don't really know you yet, Sandy ... What do you like? I mean, what kind of clothes do you like? Do you like blue ... red?
-Oh, I like satin, I like pink ...
-What kind of, uh ... music do you like?
-I like jazz ...
-Yeah ... Guy Lombardo ...
-Elvis I like, too.
-... but it depends on what I'm doing to the music, Dick ...
-Uh, is your mother ... still alive?
-Yeah, she lives in Dallas ...
-We didn't come here to talk about football. We came here to end the war.
-No, we don't! You're full of shit! You say you want to end the war, so why don't you? My brother died over there last November. Why? What good was his death?
-Someone wants it ... You can't stop it, can you? Even if you wanted to. Because it's not you. It's the system. And the system won't let you stop it ...
-There's a lot more at stake here than what you want. Or even what I want ...
-No, no. I'm not powerless. Because ... because I understand the system. I believe I can control it. Maybe not control it totally. But ... tame it enough to make it do some good.
-It sounds like you're talking about a wild animal.
-We got the press this time!
-We gotta make 'em think we're just as tough as they are -- that Nixon's a mad bomber, he might do anything! I played a lot of poker in World War II , and I won big, and let me tell you this -- unpredictability is our best asset. That redneck Johnson left me with a shitty hand and I'm bluffing. I've got to
-But what am I telling the press about Kent State?
-Mr. President, the press guys asked if you could come back for a minute.
-No, they want you, Mr. President. I really think it would be a good move.
-Bernstein.
-You know, Fred, they sell tickets.
-Sir?
-Shit, plenty of people did their best writing in prison. Gandhi, Lenin ...
-That's right.
-What's in there?
-POWs. And their families.
-So I'm supposed to be ...
-Compassionate. Grateful.
-Proud?
-Sir?
-Of them.
-Yes, yes.
-There's more ... there's more than just me. You can't break, my boy, even when there's nothing left. You can't admit, even to yourself, that it's gone, Al. Do you think those POWs in there did?
-No, sir ...
-And this?! Good Lord, have you lost your mind? Nixon can't say this. "Niggers"!
-Or we could write "expletive deleted."
-We lost ...
-I know ...
-It makes us human ...
-It's not fair, Buddy. I can take the insults; I can take the name-calling. But I can't take the losing. I hate it.
-We don't have to put ourselves through this again, Dick.
-What do you mean? We worked for it. We earned it. It's ours.
-It is. We know that. And it's enough that we know. Just think of the girls. They're still young. We never see them. I lost my parents. I don't want them to lose theirs; I don't want them to grow up without a mother and father ...
-Maybe I should get out of the game. What do you think, Buddy? Go back to being a lawyer and end up with something solid, some money at the end of the line ... You know, I keep thinking of my old man tonight. He was a failure, too.
-You're not a failure, Dick.
-Thank you, Fidel Castro.
-You're not going to blame this on Castro, are you?
-I sure am. The goddamned missile crisis united the whole country behind Kennedy. And he was supporting Brown. People were scared, that's why.
-I suppose Castro staged the whole thing just to beat you.
-Don't you want to listen to Brown's victory speech?
-No. I'm not going to listen to any more speeches ever again.
-Amen to that.
-It's over, Dick.
-I'll concede in the morning.
-What are you saying? What are you talking about?
-I want a divorce.
-My God -- divorce? What about the girls?
-The girls will grow up. They only know you from television anyway.
-It would ruin us, Buddy, our family.
-You're ruining us. If we stay with you, you'll take us down with you. This isn't political, Dick. This is our life.
-Everything's political, for Christ's sake! I'm political. And you're political, too!
-This is just what they want, Buddy. Don't you see it? They want to drive us apart. To beat us. We can't let them do it. We've been through too much together, Buddy ... We belong together.
-Dick, don't...
-We can be happy. We really can. We love you, Dick. The girls and I...
-I'll do it. No more.
-Are you serious?
-Yeah ... I'm out.
-Is that the truth?
-Dick, you should call Bobby.
-He doesn't want me at the funeral.
-You don't have to go.
-De Gaulle's gonna be there. And Macmillan. And Adenauer. Nixon can't not be there.
-Then call him. I'm sure it was an oversight.
-No. It's his way. He hates me. Him and Teddy. They always hated me.
-Were you planning to tell me?
-Buddy? ...
-You should be going ... the primaries are soon, aren't they? New Hampshire ...
-They love you, Buddy. They need you, too.
-I don't want them to love me.
-It was our dream, too, Buddy, together ... always.
-Do you really want this, Dick?
-This. Above all.
-Yes ... you know it! Yes ... I will. Yeah!
-Then I'll be there for you.
-You're the strongest woman I ever met. I love you, Buddy.
-Can I just ask for one thing?
-Anything.
-He looked old, didn't he?
-Hi, Buddy. What are you doing in here?
-I've missed you.
-Are you okay?
-Why don't we go down to Key Biscayne together? Just the two of us.
-Because ... I have to relax.
-I was thinking tonight -- do you remember, Dick? Do you remember when you used to drive me on dates with the other boys? You didn't want to let me out of your sight.
-Yeah, sure, a long time ago.
-I don't need that, Buddy. I'm not Jack Kennedy.
-No, you're not. So stop comparing yourself to him. You have no reason to ... You have everything you ever wanted. You've earned it. Why can't you just enjoy it?
-I do. I do. In my own way.
-Then what are you scared of, honey?
-I'm not scared, Buddy. You don't understand. They're playing for keeps, Buddy. The press, the kids, the liberals -- they're out there, trying to figure out how to tear me down.
-They're all your enemies?
-Yes!
-You personally?
-Yes! This is about me. Why can't you understand that, you of all people? It's not the war -- it's Nixon! They want to destroy Nixon! And if I expose myself even the slightest bit they'll tear my insides out. Do you want that? Do you want to see that, Buddy? It's not pretty.
-Sometimes I think that's what you want.
-No, I don't. I'm not Jack ...
-Penny for your thoughts.
-Is that adjusted for inflation? Think of the life Mao's led. In '52 I called him a monster. Now he could be our most important ally. Only Nixon could've done that.
-Congratulations, Dick.
-Not for the Pentagon it isn't. I'm kissing Mao's ass. And the press is gonna find some way to shaft Nixon on this one.
-Yes.
-When?
-Tomorrow.
-Ron told me that Bob Haldeman's been calling. But you won't talk to him ... if he's convicted, will you pardon him?
-What exactly did you want to discuss, Pat?
-You. What' you're doing --
-And what am I doing?
-I wish I knew. You're hiding.
-Hiding what?
-I'm the only left, Dick. If you don't talk to me, you ...
-No, it isn't. I won't interfere with you anymore. I'm finished trying.
-Thank you.
-Why didn't you?
-You can't expect me to explain that to you.
-You don't expect me to believe that for one minute, do you? Does it matter what's on them? Really? ... Murder, Dick? Sex? Your secrets, your fantasies? Or just me and you and ...
-Don't be ridiculous!
-I remember Alger Hiss. I know how ugly you can be -- you're capable of anything. But you see, it doesn't really matter, at the end of the day, what's on them. Because you have absolutely no remorse. No concept of remorse. You want the tapes to get out, you want them to see you at your worst ...
-And what would I find out that I haven't known for years. What makes it so damn sad is that you couldn't confide in any of us. You had to make a record ... for the whole world.
-They were for me. They're mine.
-It'll be over soon.
-No ... it's just going to start now ... If I could just ... If I could just ... sleep.
-Howya doin'! New York treating you okay? I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you at all--
-Oh, Happy! Dick Nixon ... You remember him.
-Hi, Happy. Well, you're obviously making him happy.
-Repartee, Dick -- very good. Hey, I feel ten years younger! It makes a helluva difference, let me tell ya! How's the lawyer life?
-Never made so much money in my life. But my upbringing doesn't allow me to enjoy it. I did get to argue a case before the Supreme Court.
-Won or lost?
-Lost.
-But being out of the game gives me time to write.
-To what?
-Write. You know, a book. I'm calling it "Six Crises." It's a good thing, Rocky -- take some time off to write.
-Hiya, fellow ... What were they?
-What?
-The "crises"?
-"Checkers" of course, Hiss, Ike's heart attack, Venezuela, the Kitchen Debate, and Kennedy.
-Sounds like you got a crisis syndrome. Aren't you exaggerating a bit, Dick? Call it three-and-a-half, maybe four ...
-Let's wait and see how you survive your first crisis, Rocky ...
-Whatcha mean by that?
-Well, in any case, Rocky, I'll send you my book. "Six Crises."
-Whatcha predicting -- your boy Goldwater going to split the party?
-Some say you are, Rocky.
-Hey, you know Henry Kissinger -- he's down from Harvard. On my staff, foreign policy whiz ...
-No, but I liked your book on nuclear weapons. We have similar views on the balance of power ...
-How'd you know I was here.
-Who else'd be in your truck.
-You heard it?
-How's that?
-You heard my -- you havin' fun with me?
-What give you that idea. I seen one of the cats heard it.
-But -- how'd you know it was mine?
-How many a those things you got now?
-Cats? Several. Wal. Depends what you mean by got. Some are half-wild, and some are just outlaws.
-How you been, Ellis?
-You lookin' at it. I got to say you look older.
-I am older.
-Got a letter from your wife. She writes pretty regular, tells me the family news.
-Didn't know there was any.
-Want a cup?
-'Predate it.
-How fresh is this coffee?
-That man that shot you died in prison.
-In Angola. Yeah.
-What would you a done if he'd been released?
-I don't know. Nothin'. Wouldn't be no point to it.
-I'm kindly surprised to hear you say that.
-...Your granddad never asked me to sign on as deputy. I done that my own self. Loretta says you're quittin'.
-Yes, you've circled round.
-How come're you doin that?
-...I always thought when I got older God would sort of come into my life in some way. He didn't. I don't blame him. If I was him I'd have the same opinion about me that he does.
-You don't know what he thinks.
-...Shot down on his own porch there in Hudspeth County. There was seven or eight of 'em come to the house. Wantin' this and wantin' that. Mac went back in and got his shotgun but they was way ahead of him. Shot him down in his own doorway. Aunt Ella run out and tried to stop the bleedin'. Him tryin to get hold of
-When did he die?
-Nineteen zero and nine.
-No, I mean was it right away or in the night or when was it.
-...What you got ain't nothin' new. This country is hard on people. Hard and crazy. Got the devil in it yet folks never seem to hold it to account.
-Most don't.
-You're discouraged.
-I'm... discouraged.
-I thought maybe she was with your boy there.
-No ID in her room?
-No money in his room there?
-Couple hundred on his person. Those hombres would've taken the stash.
-I suppose. Though they was leavin' in a hurry.
-It's all the goddamned money, Ed Tom. The money and the drugs. It's just goddamned beyond everything. What is it mean? What is it leading to?
-Yes.
-If you'd a told me twenty years ago I'd see children walkin' the streets of our Texas towns with green hair and bones in their noses I just flat out wouldn't of believed you.
-Signs and wonders. But I think once you stop hearin' sir and madam the rest is soon to follow.
-It's the tide. It's the dismal tide. It is not the one thing.
-...I don't know what I do feel like.
-Try "old" on for size.
-None of that explains your man though.
-Uh-huh.
-He is just a goddamn homicidal lunatic, Ed Tom.
-I'm not sure he's a lunatic.
-Well what would you call him.
-I don't know. Sometimes I think he's pretty much a ghost.
-He's real all right.
-Oh yes.
-All that at the Eagle Hotel. It's beyond everything.
-Yes, he has some hard bark on him.
-Hard to believe.
-Don't know why I did. I told you, I don't know where he is.
-You ain't heard from him?
-No I ain't.
-Nothin'?
-Not word one.
-Would you tell me if you had?
-Well, I don't know. He don't need any trouble from you.
-It's not me he's in trouble with.
-Who's he in trouble with then?
-Some pretty bad people.
-Llewelyn can take care of hisself.
-These people will kill him, Carla Jean. They won't quit.
-He won't neither. He never has.
-I wish I could say that was in his favor. But I have to say I don't think it is.
-Why you tellin' me that, Sheriff?
-Who's Charlie Walser. Oh! Well, I, uh... True story? I couldn't swear to ever detail but... it's certainly true that it is a story.
-Yes ma'am?
-If I tell you where Llewelyn's headed, you promise it'll be just you goes and talks with him -- you and nobody else?
-Yes ma'am, I do.
-Llewelyn would never ask for help. He never thinks he needs any.
-Carla Jean...
-You wouldn't think a car would burn like that.
-Does that look to you like about a '77 Ford, Wendell?
-It could be.
-I'd say it is. Not a doubt in my mind.
-The old boy shot by the highway?
-Yessir, his vehicle. Man killed Lamar's deputy, took his car, killed someone on the highway, swapped for his car, and now here it is and he's swapped again for god knows what.
-Well. Old age flattens a man.
-Yessir. But then there's this other. He nods up the ridge away from the highway.
-...You ride Winston.
-You sure?
-I know this truck. Belongs to a feller named Moss.
-Llewelyn Moss?
-That's the boy.
-Yes, appears to have been a glitch or two.
-What calibers you got there, Sheriff?
-...Somebody unloaded on this thing with a shotgun.
-...How come do you reckon the coyotes ain't been at 'em?
-These boys is all swole up. So this was earlier: gettin set to trade. Then, whoa, differences... You know: might not of even been no money.
-That's possible.
-But you don't believe it.
-No. Probably I don't.
-We goin' in?
-What about yours?
-...I believe they've done lit a shuck.
-Believe you're right.
-Probably must be.
-So when was he here?
-...Now that's aggravating.
-Sheriff, that's aggravating.
-You think this boy Moss has got any notion of the sorts of sons of bitches that are huntin' him?
-What was the bullet?
-Wasn't no bullet?
-Yessir. Wasn't none.
-Well, Wendell, with all due respect, that don't make a whole lot of sense.
-No sir.
-You said entrance wound in the forehead, no exit wound.
-Yes sir.
-Are you telling me he shot this boy in the head and then went fishin' around in there with a pocket knife?
-Sir, I don't want to picture that.
-Yes Noreen you better had. Thank you.
-The Rangers and DEA are heading out to the desert this morning. You gonna join 'em?
-I don't know. Any new bodies accumulated out there?
-No sir.
-Yessir. None of the three had ID on 'em but they're tellin' me all three is Mexicans. Was Mexicans.
-There's a question. Whether they stopped bein'. And when.
-Yessir.
-Now, Wendell, did you inquire about the cylinder lock?
-Yessir. It was punched out.
-Okay.
-You gonna drive out there?
-No, that's the only thing I would've looked for. And it sounds like these boys died of natural causes.
-How's that, Sheriff?
-Natural to the line of work they was in.
-Yessir.
-...This month's checks.
-That DEA agent called again. You don't want to talk to him?
-I'm goin' to try and keep from it as much as I can.
-...Could I get you to call Loretta and tell her I've gone to Odessa? goin' to visit with Carla Jean Moss.
-Yes Sheriff.
-I'll call Loretta when I get there. I'd call now but she'll want me to come home and I just might.
-You want me to wait til you've quit the building?
-...What is it that Torbert says? About truth and justice?
-We dedicate ourselves daily anew. Something like that.
-I thought it was a car afire.
-It is a car afire. But Wendell said there was something back country too.
-When is the county gonna start payin' a rental on my horse.
-...I love you more'n more, ever day.
-...Be careful.
-I always am.
-Don't get hurt.
-I never do.
-Don't hurt no one.
-Maybe I'll go ridin.
-Okay.
-What do you think.
-I can't plan your day.
-I mean, would you care to join me.
-...How'd you sleep?
-I don't know. Had dreams.
-Well you got time for 'em now. Anything interesting?
-Well they always is to the party concerned.
-Ed Tom, I'll be polite.
-It ain't even three years we been married.
-I got it Mama.
-I didn't see my Prednizone.
-I put it in, Mama.
-Well I didn't see it.
-No.
-I ain't got the money.
-No.
-What little I had is long gone and they's bill aplenty to pay yet. I buried my mother today. I ain't paid for that neither.
-I wouldn't worry about it.
-...You got no cause to hurt me.
-No. But I gave my word.
-You gave your word?
-To your husband.
-That don't make sense. You gave your word to my husband to kill me?
-Your husband had the opportunity to remove you from harm's way. Instead, he used you to try to save himself.
-Not like that. Not like you say.
-I knowed you was crazy when I saw you settin' there. I knowed exactly what was in store for me.
-What's in the satchel?
-It's full a money.
-...Where'd you get the pistol?
-Did you buy that gun?
-No. I found it.
-Llewelyn!
-What'd you give for that thing?
-You don't need to know everthing, Carla Jean.
-I need to know that.
-You keep running that mouth I'm gonna take you in the back and screw you.
-Big talk.
-Just keep it up.
-Fine. I don't wanna know. I don't even wanna know where you been all day.
-Llewelyn.
-Yeah.
-What're you doin', baby?
-Goin' out.
-Goin' where?
-Somethin' I forgot to do. I'll be back.
-...If I don't come back tell Mother I love her.
-Your mother's dead, Llewelyn.
-Odessa.
-Why would we go to Odessa?
-Not we, you. Stay with your mother.
-So... for how long do we have to...
-What'm I supposed to tell Mama?
-Try standin' in the door and hollerin: Mama I'm home.
-Llewelyn --
-Well thanks for fallin' all over and apologizing.
-Why all the way to Del Rio?
-You can't afford one?
-Don't wanna register it. I'll call you in a couple days.
-Promise?
-Yes I do.
-I got a bad feelin', Llewelyn.
-Well I got a good one. So they ought to even out. Quit worrying about everthing.
-Mama's gonna raise hell.
-Uh-huh.
-She is just gonna cuss you up'n down.
-You should be used to that.
-I'm used to lots of things, I work at Wal-Mart.
-Not any more, Carla Jean. You're retired.
-Llewelyn?
-Yes ma'am?
-You are comin back, ain't ya?
-Llewelyn?
-Hey.
-What should I do?
-You know what's goin' on?
-I don't know, I had the sheriff here from Terrell County --
-What did you tell him?
-What did I know to tell him. You're hurt, ain't you?
-What makes you say that?
-Llewelyn, I ain't gonna leave you in the lurch.
-No. This works better. With you gone and I don't have the money, he can't touch me. But I can sure touch him. After I find him I'll come and join you.
-Find who? What am I supposed to do with Mother?
-She'll be all right.
-We don't have to do this. I'm a daytrader. I could just go home.
-Why would I let you do that?
-I know where the money is.
-If you knew, you would have it with you.
-I need dark. To get it. I know where it is.
-I know something better.
-What's that.
-I know where it's going to be.
-And where is that.
-You don't know to a certainty. Twenty minutes it could be here.
-I do know to a certainty. And you know what's going to happen now. You should admit your situation. There would be more dignity in it.
-Do you have any idea how goddamn crazy you are?
-You mean the nature of this conversation?
-Yessir?
-I'm looking for Llewelyn Moss.
-Did you go up to his trailer?
-Yes I did.
-Well I'd say he's at work. Do you want to leave a message?
-Where does he work?
-I can't say.
-Where does he work?
-Where does he work?
-Hello?
-Is Llewelyn there?
-Llewelyn?! No he ain't.
-What's this about?
-Huh? What is...
-Mm-hm.
-...Where's the transponder?
-...You getting anything on this?
-Not a bleep.
-How'd you find it?
-Yeah, that'll suck some power. Over time.
-What airport would you use.
-Huh? Airport or airstrip?
-Airport.
-Well -- where ya goin'?
-I don't know.
-Who is this.
-...You need to talk to me.
-I don't need to talk to you.
-I think that you do. Do you know where I'm going?
-Why would I care where you're going.
-...I know where you are.
-Yeah? Where am I?
-You're in the hospital across the river. But that's not where I'm going. Do you know where I'm going?
-Yeah. I know where you're going.
-All right.
-You know she won't be there.
-It doesn't make any difference where she is.
-You know how this is going to turn out, don't you?
-No. Do you?
-Yes, I do. I think you do too. So this is what I'll offer. You bring me the money and I'll let her go. Otherwise she's accountable. The same as you. That's the best deal you're going to get. I won't tell you you can save yourself because you can't.
-...Me?
-Yes.
-He gave Acosta's people a receiver.
-He feels... he felt... the more people looking...
-...For instance. I used birshot. So as not to blow the window.
-How much?
-Sixty-nine cent.
-This. And the gas.
-Y'all getting any rain up your way?
-What way would that be?
-What business is it of yours where I'm from, friendo?
-I didn't mean nothin' by it.
-Didn't mean nothin'.
-I was just passin' the time.
-...Will there be somethin' else?
-Is somethin' wrong?
-With what?
-With anything?
-Will there be anything else?
-You already asked me that.
-Well... I need to see about closin'.
-See about closing.
-Yessir.
-What time do you close?
-Now. We close now.
-Now is not a time. What time do you close.
-You don't know what you're talking about, do you?
-Sir?
-...What time do you go to bed.
-Sir?
-You're a bit deaf, aren't you? I said what time do you go to bed.
-...I'd say around nine-thirty. Somewhere around nine-thirty.
-I could come back then.
-Why would you be comin' back? We'll be closed.
-Well... I need to close now --
-You live in that house behind the store?
-Yes I do.
-This was my wife's father's place. Originally.
-You married into it.
-We lived in Temple Texas for many years. Raised a family there. In Temple. We come out here about four years ago.
-You married into it.
-...If that's the way you wanna put it.
-...What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?
-Sir?
-The most. You ever lost. On a coin toss.
-Call it.
-Call it?
-Yes.
-For what?
-Just call it.
-Well -- we need to know what it is we're callin' for here.
-You need to call it. I can't call it for you. It wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't even be right.
-I didn't put nothin' up.
-Yes you did. You been putting it up your whole life. You just didn't know it. You know what date is on this coin?
-No.
-Look... I got to know what I stand to win.
-Everything.
-How's that?
-You stand to win everything. Call it.
-...Don't put it in your pocket.
-Sir?
-Don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky quarter.
-...Where you want me to put it?
-Twelve gauge. You need shells? Moss looks the gun over.
-Uh-huh. Double ought.
-Tent poles.
-Uh-huh.
-You already have the tent?
-Somethin' like that.
-Well you give me the model number of the tent I can order you the poles.
-Never mind. I want a tent.
-What kind of tent?
-The kind with the most poles.
-Well I guess that'd be our ten-foot backyard Per-Gola. You can stand up in it. Well, some people could stand up in it. Six foot clearance at the ridge. You might just could.
-One room, one night.
-That's twenty-six dollars.
-You on all night?
-I'm waitin' to hear your description of that.
-Good. I need everything else.
-Okay.
-You get a lot of people come in here with no clothes on?
-Don't stop. Just ride me up past the rooms.
-What room?
-...Keep going. Don't stop.
-I don't want to get in some kind of a jackpot here, buddy.
-It's all right.
-Why don't I set you down here and we won't argue about it.
-I want you to take me to another motel.
-Yessir, that's correct. I know 'em when I see 'em.
-When did you last see him.
-November the 28th, last year.
-You seem pretty sure of the date. Did I ask you to sit?
-We got a loose cannon here. And we're out a bunch of money, and the other party is out his product.
-Yessir.
-If your expenses run higher I hope you'll trust us for it.
-Okay.
-How well do you know Chigurh.
-Well enough.
-That's not an answer.
-What do you want to know?
-He killed three men in a motel in Del Rio yesterday. And two others at that colossal goatfuck out in the desert.
-Okay. We can stop that.
-...I'm wondering...
-Yes?
-...An attempt at humor, I suppose.
-I'm sorry.
-You tell me the option.
-The what?
-...You pick the option with the applicable rate.
-Could I get another room.
-You want to change rooms?
-No, I want to keep my room, and get another one.
-Another additional.
-What about one forty-two.
-You can have the one next to yours if you want. One twenty. It ain't took.
-No, one forty-two.
-That's me.
-Waitin' for my wife.
-Oh. That's who you keep lookin' out the window for?
-Half.
-What else then?
-Lookin' for what's comin'.
-Yeah but no one ever sees that. I like a man that'll tell you he's married.
-Then you'll like me.
-...Don't worry. I'm not the man that's after you.
-...But that won't last.
-What is he supposed to be, the ultimate bad-ass?
-I don't think that's how I would describe him.
-How would you describe him?
-I guess I'd say... that he doesn't have a sense of humor. His name is Chigurh.
-Sugar?
-Chigurh. Anton Chigurh. You know how he found you?
-I know how he found me.
-It's called a transponder.
-I know what it is. He won't find me again.
-Not that way.
-Not any way.
-Took me about three hours.
-I been immobile.
-...What do you do?
-I'm retired.
-What did you do?
-I'm a welder.
-Acetylene? Mig? Tig?
-Any of it. If it can be welded I can weld it.
-Cast iron?
-Yes.
-I don't mean braze.
-I didn't say braze.
-Pot metal?
-What did I say?
-Were you in Nam?
-Yeah. I was in Nam.
-So was I.
-Look. You need to give me the money. I've got no other reason to protect you.
-Why would he go to Odessa?
-Maybe he should be worried. About me.
-...You didn't take the product, did you?
-What product.
-The heroin. You don't have it.
-No I don't have it.
-...I'm across the river. At the Hotel Eagle. Carson Wells. Call me when you've had enough. I can even let you keep a little of the money.
-If I was cuttin' deals, why wouldn't I go deal with this guy Chigurh?
-No no. No. You don't understand. You can't make a deal with him. Even if you gave him the money he'd still kill you. He's a peculiar man. You could even say that he has principles. Principles that transcend money or drugs or anything like that. He's not like you. He's not even like me.
-Who do you think gets through this gate into the United States of America?
-I don't know. American citizens.
-Some American citizens. Who do you think decides?
-You do, I reckon.
-That is correct. And how do I decide?
-I don't know.
-I ask questions. If I get sensible answers then they get to go to America. If I don't get sensible answers they don't. Is there anything about that that you don't understand?
-No sir.
-Then I ask you again how you come to be out here with no clothes.
-I got an overcoat on.
-Are you jackin' with me?
-No sir.
-Don't jack with me.
-Yes sir.
-Are you in the service?
-No sir. I'm a veteran.
-Nam?
-Yes sir. Two tours.
-What outfit.
-How is she?
-She's in a kind of shock. I see all the signs of a post-traumatic reaction with possible dissociative symptoms.
-Could I have that in American?
-It's a type of altered state... it allows a traumatized person to continue functioning.
-Sorry you had to see that. You were saying?
-I was saying that it seems probable that she witnessed the murder, but her memory of it is gone, at least for the time being. I also think you ought to have her stay with someone tonight. Any idea who Chloe or Lonnie are?
-No... Friends from the diner maybe?
-Hey, Sheriff. How's everything?
-Oh, you know, the usual... keeping the world safe.
-...I meant your food.
-I'm in a motel. Has something happened to Del? Did he do something stupid?
-BETTY, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU... IN PERSON! WHERE'RE YOU AT?
-IF THIS IS ABOUT DEL, FORGET IT! I'M NOT COMING BACK!
-GODAMMIT, BETTY!... WHO'S CHLOE?
-Sheriff, I don't...
-Yeah, it was great. Really put the whole idea of "church bake sales" in perspective...
-You know, Elden, some people actually read more than just the Classifieds...
-I thought you said the eggs weren't...
-It's fine. Mind your own meal...
-You should get the order you want.
-Why you always gotta embarrass me? I been eating lunch with you since grade school and you always gotta embarrass me!
-They're just eggs, Elden, how embarrassing can eggs be?
-...plenty
-Who eats eggs for lunch, anyhow?
-Okay, let's go... I got nothing for the record yet.
-Oww! My arm, careful!
-Ahh, what'd you do now... fall off your bike again?
-No, it's nothing, I... my piranha just mauled me a little when I layed their food out.
-Good God... they're meat eaters, Roy, just drop the shit in there!
-I can't... they prefer a more formal presentation. I don't usually go so close to the surface, but I was...
-...you are so goddamn weird. Oh, and by the way, get the hell outta here!
-No, Elden, I need to...
-You need to get yourself gone from my crime scene. And leave Betty alone, she's...
-She knows who killed Del. Elden, she said it was a woman.
-It wasn't a woman.
-Yes it was. Betty saw the whole thing! Your killer's name is Chloe...
-Jesus...
-So, you think you're gonna find his scalp hanging in some tepee?
-They no longer live in tepees, Mr. College Graduate.
-Did you send anyone out there?
-You bet I did. I got a squad car on the way to the reservation right now.
-Bad idea...
-You just go write your little story, Roy. I'll handle the police work...
-I questioned Joyce about all this...
-Yeah?
-Seems she was pretty familiar with 'ol Del. On a regular basis, if you get my drift...
-...and half the other guys in this town. Including you, I believe...
-Junior year!
-Anyway, so what?
-So? ...Suppose Betty found out about them?
-You said a woman couldn't have done it.
-A woman can write a check.
-So you're saying Betty Sizemore -- our Betty Sizemore -- who you were in swing choir with -- has now hired somebody to scalp her husband in her own kitchen while she watched? You're amazing.
-Oh, you're sharp as a tack, Elden.
-Oww, the arm, the arm!
-You just don't know when to quit, Roy! You were jealous of me when I got hall monitor in seventh grade, and you're still jealous now!!!
-One question, Doctor, please! You can't do this! I'm the press, I have rights!!
-What if the killers didn't see her? You published her picture -- you're gonna get her killed!
-No, we're bringing the community into the effort to find her.
-You're lying!
-I spoke to Betty Sizemore yesterday. That's right. There's no doubt in my mind, folks... she's on the run. Whether or not she's mixed up in all this remains to be seen...
-That's bullshit, Sheriff! You think she's a suspect!
-What the hell do you want?... Hey, Sue Ann, what's up?
-We think we know where Betty is.
-I see you're sticking to the diet Betty put you on...
-Worry about your own goddamn lunch!
-Why do I need to see this? Did he ask you to...?
-Yeah? Well, she called Sue Ann yesterday from Arizona.
-Come on, Elden, think about it. The driver, all them trunks standing open like that... something's going on here!
-I know that...
-Well, do something, then, damnit!
-Oww... Did you have to make these things so tight?
-Elden, let me out of here. Now! This is ridiculous, I need medical attention!
-That's a nice name for what you need...
-Just shut up a second and listen... That, uh... that bar in Arizona? Where you said Betty was?
-What about it?
-Any idea where it is?
-Little place called "Williams," why?
-I just got something off the wire. The woman who owns it was murdered last night. Now, I'm not saying I agree with you or nothing, but... what else do you know?
-That's a lie! I figured it out! I've been trying to tell this dumbass --
-Fuck you, Roy Ostrey!
-We're in a shootout, Roy! Shut up about the damn fish!
-We need ammo... Go check his jacket, I'll cover you.
-I'm not going out there! Let's wait for the real police...
-You wanna see if he has more shells, go ahead. I say we wait...
-No, no, no... you don't know shit about procedure! You don't send your best...
-Uhh, no, we haven't picked a date yet... well, once he dumps her we will. He's out pricing banners... I don't expect him back.
-"Banners?"
-Need something else?
-No, I was just... How you doing?
-Great. Good. Content...
-Oh. How come?
-I dunno. Job satisfaction, I guess... How's things at the Tip Top?
-They're fine... you miss it?
-You must be joking.
-Hmm. So, Del get that car he sold you up and running yet?
-Oh, yeah, he's got things up and running, alright...
-'Kay, good. Bye, then...
-Who are these idiots?
-This is Roy Ostrey, he's a reporter. And this is Sheriff Ballard. We all went to Fair Oaks High together...
-...I s'pose you did that so I could take my sweater off or something.
-Do you know who I am?
-...I... I know what you are.
-Do you know why I'm here?
-You really... didn't have anything to do with what Del was doing, did you?
-I have no idea what he was mixed up in... it was always something.
-So you weren't involved with him in his pathetic attempt to diversify? Were you mixed up in the drugs, Betty?
-Drugs? God, no! I'm totally against drugs.
-...well, if you're not going to slit my throat, why'd you come up here?
-...I never meet people like you. I'm a garbageman of the human condition. I deal with trash, mostly, people willing to trade any part of themselves for a few more minutes of their rotten lives. But you... you're different.
-I am?
-I'm appreciably older than you, but my health is good. I take care of myself, and I got some money socked away. You'd never have to work again, that's for sure. I'd treat you like a queen.
-Umm, I don't think that...
-Wait. Let me get this out. I like the symphony, walks in the rain, sunsets, animals and children. I read passionately, and I like to discuss things. I'm basically conservative, but flexible. I've been involved in the death of thirty- two people, but I can live with that because the world is lighter by thirty- two pieces of shit, excuse my language.
-"Thirty-two?"
-Well, thirty-three, but I'm not counting Del, on account of you... so, what do you think? You probably feel I'm flattering myself to see us together.
-I don't feel that, no. I just... I'm not really who you think I am.
-I wrote that when I was twelve... where'd you get that?!
-I know. I borrowed it from your grandparents because I... I... it doesn't matter. Don't worry, they're fine... Look, I used to feel that same way, said practically those same words, sitting at night in a foxhole in Korea... I've chased you across the country, Betty, and I come to find out we're a lot more alike than you'd think.
-I thought you were a garbageman of humanity, or something.
-That's my son! My son is dead!
-I'm sorry.
-You're sorry? YOU'RE THE REASON WE'RE HERE!
-If we went out that window right now we'd have a chance...
-I better go check on them.
-Wait, Betty... you still haven't answered me.
-Ahh, it's too late, anyway. It's too late. Listen, I could shoot my way out, maybe take one of them with me... If you'd gimme my gun back.
-I'd rather not...
-Betty, I don't wanna shrivel up alone in some stinking prison. No way. I've got some professional pride. And I don't want anybody else to get the credit for taking me out.
-...what're you saying?
-Did... did you really come here because you love this guy?
-So all this... really was because of that soap opera? My son is dead because you came out here to be with that doctor? A fake doctor?
-I wouldn't have put it quite that way, but...
-Wesley didn't even want to come up here. He warned me, but I insisted... I have to ask you, Betty...are you crazy?
-Of course, I don't know every doctor who works here...
-Dr. Ravell's the finest surgeon on the staff. You must know him. He's incredibly handsome, gentle, considerate. He's being sued for sexual assault right now, but -- It's not true. He was set up.
-Well, I certainly would have heard about that.
-Of course, he's only here two days a week. He's also on staff over at Loma Vista.
-...I don't think I know that hospital.
-It's in a very pretty area that gets a lot of sun, has palm trees out front, mountains in the background...
-What you did yesterday was reckless at best. You are not an employee of this hospital! If that boy dies I don't even want to think of the lawsuit that'll follow. Are we communicating here?
-Yes, ma'am.
-You can start tomorrow. And don't say a word about this to anyone. Is that issue?
-Umm... yes. Back home.
-Did you watch it yet?
-Sure did. I'll tell you, if that man was any better looking it'd be a crime 'a some sort...
-Yep. Hey, I got a surprise for tonight. We're going to the Starlite in style!
-Oh, Betty --
-I'll give you a hint. If you scrunch up your eyes a bit it looks just like a Jaguar...
-Honey, I'm really sorry, I was gonna call you about tonight. Larry's got a lodge meeting. There's no way I can get a sitter this fast.
-No... what about your sister?
-It's all right.
-You sure? Maybe next week we could...
-Aahhh... So what color is it?
-What?
-The LeSabre!
-Maroon. I stole it.
-What?
-He wasn't going to let us use it, so I just took it.
-Oh, I wish we could just get in it and drive, and drive, and drive!
-Yeah, me too.
-Sorry, hon. Happy Birthday...
-Let me know if you need anything, okay?
-Are you and Larry happy?
-Oh, I dunno... enough, I s'pose.
-Then you should treasure that... you gotta hold on to whatever you got that's any good, even if it's only a little bit.
-All you been through... I ever tell you what a good friend you are?
-All the time...
-Something bad happened to Del and me, didn't it?
-Yeah, hon. Real bad. You just get some sleep, everything's gonna be fine.
-Halfway where? You've gotta come home. We've been worried sick about you. Are you alright?
-Sue Ann, I thought you of all people would back me up on this, you know what Del's like. How did he take my note?
-Betty, honey, listen to me. A man came by from Mutual Life Insurance. He says you've got money comin' to you from Del's policy. Del's life insurance policy -- Are you with me?
-Tell Del I'm sorry. I left so quick, but I need to do this.
-Do what?
-I gotta go.
-...of course you do. You don't remember me?
-I take it I should. I'm sorry.
-I beg your pardon?
-That's very kind of you.
-Oh, you mean Fred.
-No, Del.
-Right, Del. Del was one hot salesman. Of cars. He could talk anyone into anything.
-You knew Del?!
-Honey, I didn't want to tell you at the time, but Del and I go way back. We went to school together. In fact, he saved my life. Two more minutes in that icy water and I would have drowned. But Del jumped in and grabbed me. We fell out of touch eventually, but I still owe him one.
-I tried to tell myself it was for the best, that there was a reason behind it. But... Del?
-There was no plan! I was just young and stupid and scared!
-You never gave us a chance...
-Why do they keep calling you George?
-I guess we all did. You know, I didn't marry Leslie because I loved her. I married her to forget you...
-Oh my God! What's Lonnie doing here?
-Lyla's very nice.
-Yes, she is.
-She told me I was charming and relentless, and would go far in this town. And she said that unlike the other charming, relentless people she knew, she liked me.
-She's a good person to know. So where did you study again?
-Carleton School of Nursing. Two semesters, but Del made me give it up...
-Alright, okay... I think you broke the record for staying in character about three hours ago.
-I haven't been this happy since I was twelve years old.
-What happened when you were twelve?
-For Mother's Day, I used all my allowance that I'd been saving to take my mother to Kansas City. We got our nails done and had lunch at "Skies," a restaurant at the top of a building from where you can see the whole city. It was the last outing we took together. She died the following year.
-Wow... You just gave me goosebumps, you know that? You make it all sound so real. Great improv...
-I just want everything to be perfect between us.
-I know. Listen, we need to take a time out here. Can we talk seriously for a minute?
-Of course.
-At last! I know how much you want this. You're gifted and extremely determined, but... it's not up to me.
-I don't think your friend likes me.
-She's a little jealous, I think. And confused when it comes to men... So where are we going?
-You never mentioned a 'Stella' to me.
-Didn't I?
-I've never met anyone like you, Betty.
-I know, that's why we were meant to be together...
-No, I mean your dedication scares me...
-It's easy to be dedicated, when you care about something...
-Yeah, I felt that way, too, when I first started, but now... the hours, the repetition... it's not all glamour and mall openings anymore. Maybe I should've listened to my people and tried to make the crossover to nights earlier, I don't know... ...I just hope it's not too late for me. God! Listen to me, "Me, me, me." It's so easy to get
-...but I love listening to you, so that's okay...
-Thanks. But I'd like to hear what you're feeling...
-Well, I just feel that life'll be much sweeter for you now with me around. I promise...
-You know, I almost believe that... you're like a warm breeze that's suddenly blown into my life... I said that to Leslie, once, at her funeral, remember?...
-I remember. You said it to her, but it was meant for me, wasn't it?
-Your lines are in the script, but you can ad lib.
-Ad lib?
-David, I don't... Can we talk privately for a second?
-Why are you doing this to me?
-Well, I don't know what you had in mind, but I hope you're happy. I put myself on the line for you, my reputation, and you're making me look like an idiot.
-What do you mean? What did I do to you...
-Who put you up to this? Did my ex- wife ask you to...?
-David, please --
-I'm sorry... Oh my gosh, are you George McCord?!
-But I'm David... I mean, I'm not David, but she thinks I am! You heard her... Stop staring at me... I'm not crazy, she is!
-Why are you screaming at me? I mean, what am I... why am I here? I don't...
-You're doing this now? After all the... are you sick? Are you going to kill me now?
-Oh. Of course... sorry.
-My treat. You were saying... something about how stupid you've been?
-Right... I was. I was an idiot, plain and simple, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. How's that?
-Kinda like you'd been saying it since you got on the plane...
-I have... did it sound that bad?
-Mmm-hmm. Listen, I forgive you, Mr. McCord...
-George...
-...George. I do. My best friend once said if you were any handsomer it would be a crime...
-Thanks...
-So, call me when you --
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on a second there, baby. Why do you need one of the new Buicks?
-Oh, you're there. You sound out of breath.
-I don't need one, but it's kind of a special night, and --
-What was that?
-Sure you don't want any salad?
-No, I do not want any goddamn... what was all that shit on the phone about the new Buicks?
-I told you. Sue Ann was gonna take me out tonight, but...
-She's not comfortable in a Corsica? 'S got air and leather...
-I took the blue Corsica, Del. Relax.
-...like the water purifiers?
-What?
-Hey, the FDA screwed me on that when they changed the law, and you know it! Anyway, 'least I try shit, still got some dreams left... you're a goddamn waitress, what do you got?
-I got you, Del...
-...well, then you ain't got much.
-Oh, I know. So, who're these clients?
-And I don't need Sue Ann's fat ass around to fuck it up...
-Just knock it off, 'kay? Anyhow, they're 97's, they're not even new.
-It's people with no lives watching other people's fake lives.
-Yeah, I guess there's nothing like watching those tenpins fall, huh, Del?
-Well, are you gonna answer me? What'd you come here for?
-I came for love...
-You're not on that soap opera thing again, are you? 'Cause you know what that is?
-It's people with no lives watching other people's fake lives.
-That's right. So, if you know it, why are you in trouble?
-I don't know.
-Hi, Betty. You're looking good...
-Thanks, Roy, you're sweet... a big liar, but sweet. I liked your editorial this morning...
-Hey, Betty. Are you okay?
-I'm great, good, content. What happened to your arm, Roy?
-Oh, nothing, it's fine. I just need to keep it wrapped for a few...
-Make sure it's elevated...
-Uh-huh.
-What're you doing here, Roy?
-Well, I was worried about you and I wanted to make sure you were alright... and I guess I was sort of hoping I could ask you about what happened...
-Oh, that... Sure, I saw the whole thing. It was disgusting!
-My God... did you get a look at who did it?
-Yes.
-You did? Was it anyone that you...?
-Betty! Boy, am I glad to see you!
-Roy! What are you doing here?
-You're in serious danger!
-Ahh, look, right now's not very...
-Have you checked the trunk of that car you're driving, Betty? I think there might be...
-What's the matter here?
-I begged him to let me put that on!
-So you're into "Reason," too? Finally, someone civilized! I'm Ellen, what can I get you?
-Shut up, Merle... Williams.
-If that little weasel ever walked in here I wouldn't serve him.
-I'd slap his face.
-Where you headed, Betty?
-Los Angeles, California.
-And you called your friend, and she's telling you not to go? When I went to Europe my friends told me I was crazy.
-Europe? The Europe? This is my first time out of Kansas.
-I should call you Dorothy. When I left here I went straight to Italy. Everybody told me not to go. But I wanted to go to Rome ever since I saw Audrey Hepburn in "Roman Holiday," and goddamnit, I went.
-Did you love it?
-Let me tell you something. I got groped by these Tunisian guys who thought I was a slut for wearing shorts, it was hotter than stink the whole time, and I got some kind of weird gum disease from the water. Plus, it ended my marriage --
-That's horrible!
-I left my husband two days ago.
-Really?
-I'm getting back with my ex-fianc. He proposed to me right around here, so I guess this is just sort of a sentimental stop...
-Wait, I thought you said you'd never been outta Kansas...
-Oh. I mean, except for that. Yep. I'm trading in a car dealer for a heart specialist, so that's pretty good...
-Nice move. Cedars Sinai?
-No. Loma Vista.
-I s'pose his name's David Ravell.
-How did you know?
-What's his real name?
-Dr. David Ravell.
-You mean... George McCord, the actor?
-Piss off, Merle. So how you gonna find him, Betty?
-I'll go to the Hospital.
-What if you can't find him? What if you get out there, and nothing's the way you thought it was gonna be?
-Like Rome?
-Worse.
-You made out alright.
-Ellen, this is the biggest thing I've ever done, but I've gotta do it.
-You take care of yourself then, Betty, and don't let anybody stop you...
-I can't believe I remembered that, although I suppose I should. I wrote it... But that was seven years ago, and you're quoting it verbatim. I'm flattered... I think. Or frightened. What's your name?
-Betty Sizemore. What do you mean you wrote it?
-Well, David moved out here and started his residency. Then he met Leslie --
-No, no, no. We know all that. What happened with you?
-She called you 'George,' George.
-What are you doing?
-He has no heartbeat!
-You're hurting him!!
-I'm massaging his heart. I saw it done once.
-ARE YOU CRAZY?!! STOP IT!!!
-You don't sound like you're from here.
-I'm not. I just drove in from Kansas.
-So why'd you come to L.A.?
-It's something I had to do. For David.
-No... I don't really know where he is yet. I'm at a hotel around the corner.
-You can go get your stuff right now. I'll walk you down.
-No, that's not, I couldn't...
-I got this apartment with a guy.
-The one you were telling me about?
-It's lovely... I really like your aquarium.
-Yeah, well, at least fish don't use your razor or pee on the seat...
-Hmmm. Sounds like you've had a pretty tough go of it with men...
-Hey, Rosa... it's Betty. How do you get to this town called 'Tustin?' It's in Orange County...
-Tustin? Take the Hollywood Freeway to the Five...
-The Five?
-Just look for the really crowded road and follow that.
-Okay... oh, umm, would you mind if I borrowed some clothes?
-You made it! Hey, that looks great on you. 'S classy... So, how'd it go today? You find him?
-You know, the more I think about it, this really isn't David's kind of place.
-What are you talking about? This bar is packed with professional people! Everybody says if you're going to get married, this is the spot to meet someone... Luckily, I'm currently off men, so I've got the luxury of not giving a shit.
-I know what you mean, I recently had some trouble with a man, a different man... and David's still getting over Leslie. His wife.
-He has a wife?!
-Had. She died in a car accident last year. She was decapitated.
-God, that's awful!
-It may not have been an accident. They never did find her head...
-Her 'head'?! You're making this up...
-No, no! Well, see, she was having an affair with a Russian diplomat who I believe was mixed up with the Mafia...
-...so, we'll hit the library first and fan out from there. They've got all the L.A. phone books, plus medical directories... We're not gonna let him hide from you any more, okay? I'm making this my personal mission.
-David isn't hiding from me, I left him standing at the altar six years ago and now I'm...
-Fuck the details, they're always to blame... Look, too many of these guys duck out on us, especially after they become doctors or lawyers. I see it at my company all day long! So I'm just gonna make sure you get your, you know, fairy tale ending or whatever... One of us should.
-Hey, how 'bout a card for me? What is that? "Please call if you have any information on David Ravell." This is my phone number! How many of these have you given out?
-How many men have I talked to?
-Jesus! They're all gonna be calling me!
-You said in L.A., anything goes.
-Guess who I saw today.
-Who?
-Doctor David Ravell.
-What? Where was he?!
-Either you're making a fool out of me because you get off on it, or you got serious problems. Which one is it?!
-I have no idea what you're talking about.
-I'M TALKING ABOUT DAVID RAVELL!!
-Shhh! I heard you the first time.
-I spent my weekend looking for someone who does -- not -- exist. I should have been here at the hospital with my brother, but I was with you.
-If you didn't want to do it, you should have said so! Is this about gas money?
-Why'd you help me in the first place?
-I helped you because I'm an idiot! Ask my mother, I love it when people take advantage of me! I TRUSTED YOU!! I THOUGHT HE WAS REAL!
-I'm not going back on our arrangement. My word is good, and my family owes you. But I think it's best for both of us if you get your own place as soon as you can.
-Don't worry, I'm looking... just taking a tiny break.
-So what do you say? Can we be friends?
-What are those for?
-Oh, it's a charity dinner. The money goes to a good cause, but I don't have anybody to go with...
-Looking for someone?
-Were you with him this whole time?
-Oh, God! You scared me! Yes...
-Does he know you think he's real?
-He is real.
-Uh-huh... So, what'd you talk about?
-Oh, my gosh, everything! My trip out here, what we've both been doing, you know...
-No, I'm not sure I could begin to imagine... So, where'd you go?
-To a party in the Hollywood Hills.
-Was it a huge place? With a view of the whole world?
-Yes. I'd never been in a place like that before.
-This isn't fair, you know. Do you always get what you want?
-No, almost never.
-Are you sure I can borrow this?
-No, please. Go ahead, it's your funeral...
-Rosa...
-Well, what if this guy's just playing with you? What if he's lying about who he is?
-You should have a little faith in people.
-Does he ever talk about medicine? His patients, the hospital?
-Rosa, so you've met David?
-Sure did! And a funny thing, Betty, he introduced himself to me as George!
-What are you doing?
-...this is your sweater, right?
-Where are you going?
-What? No, I'm not gonna let you just run out of here... You need to talk about what's going on...
-You think I'm crazy, Rosa, but you don't know the half of it. My husband was, ahh...
-Your husband?!
-What?! That you had something to do with it?
-I don't know. I'm just starting to remember it now. I don't...
-Yeah, but your running away isn't going to help you with all this...
-There was blood everywhere, Rosa. I saw it, I think I watched the whole thing happen... Oh my God...
-These guys are here to help you, Betty.
-Blake, I can handle that transplant!
-We need someone with the right kind of experience, Lonnie.
-Even if he's falling asleep on his feet?
-Lonnie, it's a complex procedure. Why don't you observe?
-I'm not some snot-nosed resident fresh out of medical school, Blake.
-What can I do for you, gentlemen?
-How do you do, Mr. McCord. We're trying to locate a deranged fan of yours,... a Ms. Betty...
-That won't be necessary. She's staying with a Rosa something... Hernandez, Herrera. I know it's an 'H' sound... in Silverlake.
-Thanks so much. You must get bothered by this kind of thing a lot.
-More than you know. Is there anything else?
-No, that should be more than --
-What part of Dixie are you from, Duane?
-Here's Ghengis Kunt and The Demilitarized Zone. Get it? They're Korean, so they're pretty hot.
-You know, it's interesting. The South lost the Civil War, but they still seem to get all the glory.
-Huh?
-The fuck you talking about?
-Even Robert E. Lee was a loser.
-He goin' crazy on us, or what?
-Did you know the most brutal, inhumane prison of the entire war was in Georgia?
-Really. And where was that, old man?
-...you can have the best damn running backs in the world, somebody's still gotta block for 'em.
-If you ate at the Tip Top you did.
-Oh, yes, with the coffee...
-I like this. I like doing business in the home. It's cozy... Who's birthday?
-All right gentlemen, let's get down to it. I need to know if you're for real.
-If we're for real?
-We appreciate that. But you just poured me a drink, I'd like to enjoy your hospitality for a few minutes.
-Fine. You got five...
-It's a nice place you got here. Real comfortable. Sweet little town, Fair Oaks. You like it here?
-What do you mean?
-Could you give us an example?
-Of what?
-I'm asking you for an example of one of these dumb fucks being a dumb fuck.
-I don't follow...
-You're not a dumb fuck, are you, Del?
-No...
-I didn't think so. So, give me an example of a stupid person doing a stupid thing. Not being stupid, you're equipped to recognize it.
-All right... lemme see... okay, new Burger King opens up. These assholes get excited and start lining up. Like it's some five star restaurant. The place is mobbed. Right?
-You did not just say "Injuns," Del.
-The Indians, Injuns, whatever. They're always drunk and doing stupid things.
-Like what?
-Driving their cars into trees... puking on the sidewalk... stupid shit!
-Let's see... around here that would be Kiowa, Kickapoo or Osage, if I'm not mistaken.
-I... I don't know...
-Well, my idea of stupid is very different from yours. So here's how this is gonna work. Would you take your socks off, please?
-Oh, Jesus, please... Please, God.
-Bourbon, little water, thank you.
-Hey... you got a fine one right here!
-Relax, we brought the cash.
-No, that's ignorant. They just don't know any better.
-That's right.
-Stupid is trying to sell it to other people who are, by their very nature, untrustworthy.
-That is so right.
-Stupid is calling people in Kansas City who are affiliated with the rightful owners of the thing you stole, and trying to sell it to them. Right Wesley?
-Now, that's really stupid.
-You know, a hundred and fifty years ago you'd have been scalped for that remark about Native Americans. Right here where your house is -- you'd have been scalped.
-Hell of a way to die.
-Hold still, Del, we're just talking here... Then you grab a big handful of hair and pull as you cut. It's amazing how easily the scalp comes off.
-I'm all for them owning casinos, getting rich off the white man's greed. It's a beautiful piece of irony, isn't it, Wesley?
-Are you out of your mind? You scalped him!
-You told me how to do it!
-This is great -- just great! Now we don't know where the goddamn stuff is.
-He told us it's in the Buick.
-We don't know which Buick, do we?
-Well, why'd you shoot him?
-I still don't understand how you knew Del was telling the truth.
-I saw his soul Wesley. He was face to face with his God, and no one lies in that situation. But your Geronimo act rattled me, and I abandoned my instincts. Never abandon you instincts.
-I didn't. You gave me a look!
-What 'look'?
-That one look you got! I thought you were done, so I took him out...
-I wasn't done, I was just sick of hearing him whine. And you didn't take him out, you scalped him. Christ, I almost puked, did I tell you that?
-Well, why'd you have to tell that Indian story?
-It's not here. Let's go.
-You just gonna leave these cars sitting here like this?
-Why not, it'll confuse 'em... gotta do something, now that you fucked it up.
-I wanted to make a statement.
-Let me tell you something. In our business you can't put food on the table if your phone doesn't ring. The guys who get the calls are good -- not flashy, just good. They get in, they get out. Nobody knows a goddamn thing. Understand? Boom, boom, boom. Three in the head and you know they're dead.
-...that's a good motto.
-Mmmm. Well, it was a piece of luck running into you, Duane. I thought I was gonna have to take Wesley out and hose him down. All he talks about is those Japanese gals.
-We can live with that.
-Del's dead, by the way. I sent him to the Great Beyond.
-He's telling the truth. He doesn't know.
-Should I kill him now?
-What the hell was that, another statement?
-Well, no one ever spit in my face before. Especially some cracker fuck.
-So how do we know that car's still in Fair Oaks?
-Maybe you don't appreciate the gravity of this situation. It's bad enough that we don't have what we came here for. It's worse that we don't know where it is. And now this. This was supposed to be my last job. I already put the deposit down on my boat. How can you eat at a time like this? I get nauseous just watching
-I can eat because I know we didn't kidnap that woman. I can eat because they aren't looking for us. And I can eat 'cause I'm fucking hungry... ...relax. She's gonna end up on a milk carton and that's about it.
-I hope you're right...
-So she gets rid of the asshole and is set for life in the same day.
-You think so? Joyce says she's timid.
-Joyce was screwing Del.
-...among others.
-I'd say that about torches her credibility, wouldn't you?
-No, I see Betty as a Midwestern Stoic type. Ice water in her veins. A clear thinker. Probably a Swede or a Finn.
-A 'Finn?' What is a Finn?
-Betty, Betty, Betty...
-So what the fuck's a Finn?
-Oh, for Chrissakes. It just means the kind of person who can eat shit for a long time without complaining, then cut their momma's throat and go dancing the same night.
-Like... us?
-Wise beyond her years, I'm sure, and such poise, too. Very, very impressive...
-Thas' it, thas' it... conquer that bitch. What time're they coming?
-It's not an exact science, Wesley. He said they'll be here... My Houston contact has always been very reliable.
-And then we're gonna do her right here. Right?
-Let's get out of here. We got another long drive ahead of us. ...the fuck where I do not know, but I know it's gonna be long.
-Okay, thank you, goodbye... Keep in touch...
-They said find it. Find her, find it. Finish the job you were paid to do.
-Half.
-What?
-They paid us half. They still owe us half...
-That woman could be in any one of four states. Four big states where the deer and the antelope play, Wesley! We're not in Rhode Island!
-I know that.
-Do I deserve this? In the twilight of my career, do I deserve this? I don't think so! I've always tried to do what's right. I never took out anybody who didn't have it coming. I'm a professional! AND WHERE THE FUCK AM I? I'M IN PURGATORY!
-Worse... you're in Texas.
-You don't look comfortable here. That's 'cause you don't like being the center of attention, do you? Nah. You're like me.
-That was a really shitty thing to do.
-What? What does she represent?! What could some cornbread white bitch from Kansas who's dragging our sorry asses up and down the Louisiana Purchase possibly mean to you?!! I'd just love to know...
-I dunno... something. Why is she doing this to me? Why?...
-How'd they describe her?
-You know, blonde, thin, whatever...
-We should go.
-We don't have time to look at a hole in the ground. We can make Vegas in four hours. This one's got to be her.
-It's a very moving experience, trust me.
-No.
-One of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World.
-No... be dark before we get there. You wanna see the Grand Canyon at night?
-What difference does it make? She wasn't in Kansas City, or Houston, or Dallas. We went to every goddamn place Del mentioned and no Betty. So what the hell makes you think she's in Vegas? You think she's waiting for us with tassles on her titties? Vegas is too crass for Betty.
-"When I grow up I'm going to become a nurse or a veterinarian. I always want to help people and value all life, be it animal, plant or mineral..." Does that sound like a goddamn showgirl to you?
-Every American should see the Grand Canyon. Are you an American?
-Well, guess what? I found Betty... where she's been, anyway.
-Where? Where is she?
-I'm not telling.
-What?
-This doesn't look like the kind of place Betty would go to.
-So you believed the bartender. Why?
-Well... I think I saw her soul.
-That's good. You're learning. But let me tell you why I know she was lying. First off, Betty would never fall for a soap star. It's beneath her.
-I dunno, that lady sounded pretty sure...
-No, no, Betty came here strictly for business, 'cause it's the biggest market for what she's selling. I should have known it all along. I'm kicking myself as I shave here. So, first thing we...
-Wait, wait, wait a minute... that doesn't make sense.
-What doesn't?
-You gimme this bullshit Psychic Friends theory, you believe that dumbshit trucker, you believe this woman...
-I never said that I believed...
-No, you believed her, we drove all the way to L.A. so that means you trusted her that much... so why's the rest of her story suddenly so kooky? Huh?
-'Cause I just don't buy it. Call it instinct. Call it 35 years of professional know-how...
-I call it 'nutty' as my shit after I eat Almond Roca...
-You need to remember who you're talking to...
-I need to get my goddamn head examined. You can't rule something out on a whim. Or because she's cute. I've been following your whims all across the U.S. of A. and now I'm tired! Me!
-Wesley...
-Who's this?
-What in the... What the hell is this? You've been holding out on me. All this fucking time!
-It just didn't fit her profile...
-Fuck the profile! That's the same guy!!
-She can't be here because of a... a soap opera. Not a soap opera. That'd make her...
-...crazy! No shit, Shaft!! And you ain't far behind...
-...but she's, no, Betty's smarter than that. She wouldn't be here for a...
-Don't Don't you talk about Betty like that. I don't care who she ends up being, you never use that word again. Got it?
-Man, you have got to get some therapy.
-I said 'got it?'
-...yeah, I got it. Come on, you're stretching out my vest...
-You were right. Del wasn't lying.
-What do your instincts tell you to do now, kid?
-Leave. Take this shit back to Detroit and get the rest of our money.
-We could do that. I could be on my way to Florida, and you could go to Thailand and fuck your brains out.
-...but that's not what we're gonna do, is it?
-No... if we don't finish this job, how are we gonna look at ourselves in the mirror? This is it for me, Wesley, she's the last one. My instinct says I gotta see this through with her, and if there's one thing I've tried to teach you here --
-It's to follow my instincts. And my instincts say get the fuck out of Dodge.
-Not her mouth... I've spent many long hours in a car with your face staring back at me. I've seen it painted on the horizon.
-This is Betty at twelve.
-Very graceful. Perfect form.
-I don't like talking bad about the dead, but now that he's gone I can tell you she put up with things in that marriage I wouldn't have. And yes, she, of all people, was the one who defended him. And that's why what that sheriff said makes me so angry.
-What do you mean?
-If anyone had paid to have that husband of hers killed, it would have been me.
-...and how long did she work here?
-Oh, five years, give or take.
-Hmm... you two in high school together?
-Aren't you a sweetheart... no, not quite. Anyway, she's been with us awhile.
-But she wanted more out of life, right?
-No... she just wanted something outta life. Anything. And with Del, she wasn't getting nothing. That's her husband, Del. I'm sorry about what happened and all, but that's the way I feel about all of this...
-I see. May I?
-If it helps bring her back, be my guest...
-Thank you for your cooperation. Just one more thing... did she ever talk about getting rich?
-What'd you get her?
-Isn't that the point?
-Seems like a nice place.
-Really?
-Jesus Christ!
-He's waiting...
-Okay, uh... the, umm, Injuns're stupid.
-Alright, I admit it, you had me there. You're better than most of them, anyway... do you have a headshot?
-No, wait... what happened next, Betty?
-Funny, that's just what I was thinking...
-Right, uhh... I feel terrible about this, we have a prior engagement at another party. But... I'd be honored if you'd come.
-She makes me stretch! I got inside my character last night like I haven't done in six years on "Reason". It was a totally rejuvenating experience.
-I know, George, I was there. I'm not denying that she's good.
-She's even taken a job as a nurse! David Ravell's getting boring, Lyla.
-We know that...
-Can I have an evil twin?
-No, George, we've already done that with Lonnie. The blind one last year, remember?
-Oh, of course. Who can forget the Emmy? Then let me bring Betty to the set and see what happens.
-I don't know, George...
-I'll tell the cast ahead of time. What do you say?
-I'll think about it.
-It'll be like live television! Let's live on the edge a little. You and I can break the mold here!
-I said I'll think about it.
-Fine, but promise me one thing. If we use her, I want to direct those episodes. She's my discovery.
-Actually, she was my discovery... just like you.
-Hmm?
-"Would you like ground pepper on that salad, Ms. Branch?" Remember?
-Betty, I thought this would be the best way. You know, throw you into it...
-What the hell's going on?
-Is there a problem, George?
-All right, everybody! That's ten minutes!
-Let me try this, goddamnit! SHE'S BEEN DOING IT ALL WEEK, SHE CAN DO IT NOW!
-This story is beyond belief, which is perfect for us. It's free advertising and it's gonna run for months.
-I don't think she can do it. You saw what happened.
-You fucked it up. Who wouldn't freeze in those circumstances? And I don't care what her problems are. She wouldn't be the first one in that cast with problems. We have nothing to lose by making her an offer.
-What about me? Don't you wanna know how I feel about it? I'm the one who...
-Why would I give a shit how you feel. And I got news for you. I loved your 'icy water' idea the other day... I'm toying with the idea of killing David Ravell off in a boating accident.
-Jesus, don't do that! If it gets around that you fired me, I'll never land a pilot.
-...what kinda car's Jasmine drive?
-Ahh, Mercedes, I think. Black.
-Yeah? The sport utility?
-Uh-huh.
-Damn, that's sweet... She really that good-looking in person?
-Better.
-Hey, can you sneak me on the lot?
-And she always had such spirit! But, after her mother died...
-Would you say she was ambitious?
-You've got to be missing a piece of your soul to kill someone. That's not our Betty...
-...why do you think you have to be missing a piece of your soul to kill somebody?
-Because it ain't natural, young man.
-You're wastin' your time, Roy.
-Nothin' complex about it. Del's dead, Betty's gone. She's probably dead, too.
-You'd like that wouldn't you? You've hated Betty since you were in Pep Squad together...
-No... before that.
-Ahh, I hate this town! Places like this just make you small... I should have never come back here after college.
-I don't know what you think you'll find, anyway.
-What did you say?
-The driver was killed. I think there's a connection --
-No, about... Are you talking about Duane Cooley?
-Yeah. Why, you know him?
-What do you think my father would do if I told him I didn't want to be a lawyer anymore?
-Probably the same thing my mom would do if I got engaged... have a heart attack.
-So how's it going with your new roomie? What's her name?
-Betty. It's O.K. except I'm worn out. We spent all weekend looking for her doctor-boy. How can a big time heart guy leave no trace of himself?
-So tell her to settle for the old one in Orange County.
-She's gonna have to 'cause I'm out of ideas.
-Maybe we're suing him for malpractice. What's his name again?
-David Ravell.
-God, that sounds so familiar. Ravell, Ravell... where's he out of?
-I'm not sure now. She said he used to be over at Loma Vista. I never heard of it.
-Hey... Is Betty still trying to find that soap opera guy?
-SHUT UP! Shut the fuck up, both of you, before I kill you!
-I'm the one who watched the show... I was...
-Did Chloe crack?
-Totally. She came apart like a house of cards. They dropped the charges...
-Goddamn... how 'bout Jasmine?
-You lie, motherfucker...
-Mrs. Rogers? I'm Dwight Campbell, with Neighborly Life Insurance. I'm looking for Betty Sizemore.
-Aren't they precious? Ma'am, she has a substantial death benefit coming to her from the tragic loss of her husband. Does she have any relatives in the area?
-No. Well, her grandparents are down in Oklahoma, but that's it...
-I see. And are you in touch with Mrs. Sizemore?
-No. But I'm taping her show every day so she can watch it when she comes back.
-Her show?
-I see. Did Chloe testify?
-I don't think she will. She's a slut, but I just don't think she's that mean. Jasmine'll bring her around...
-Yeah?
-Mr. Campbell?
-Huh?
-Is this Neighborly Life Insurance?
-Oh, umm, yes, this is Dwight Campbell.
-I flatter myself that such is the case; in my line of work it's plumb necessary. The one thing you don't want is air in the conversation.
-Once again we find ourselves in agreement. What kind of work do you do, Big Dan?
-Thankee boys for throwin' in that fricasee. I'm a man a large appetite and even with lunch under my belt I was feeling a mite peckish.
-Our pleasure, Big Dan.
-I like to think that I'm a pretty astute observer of the human scene.
-End of the road, boys. It's had its twists and turns -
-Waitaminute -
-Waitaminute -
-You have eluded fate - and eluded me - for the last time. Tie their hands, boys.
-You can't do this -
-Didn't know you'd be bringin' a friend. Well, he'll have to wait his turn -
-Hang on there -
-- and share one of your graves.
-It ain't the law!
-'N I'm Delmar O'Donnell.
-We ain't gonna make it walkin'.
-You got light fingers, Everett. Gopher?
-That's right!
-That's right! We ain't really Negroes!
-Why don't we bed down out here tonight?
-Visit those foreclosin' sonofaguns down at the Indianola Savings and Loan and slap that cash down on the barrelhead and buy back the family farm. Hell, you ain't no kind of man if you ain't got land.
-...Pete?
-We didn't abandon you, Pete, we just thought you was a toad.
-No, they never did turn me into a toad.
-Well that was our mistake then. And then we was beat up by a bible salesman and banished from Woolworth's. I don't know if it's the one branch or all of 'em.
-Well I - I ain't had it easy either, boys. Uh, frankly, I - well I spilled my guts about the treasure.
-Huh?!
-I'm sorry we got you into this, Tommy.
-How'd he know about the treasure?
-What do we do now, Everett?
-NOW HOLD ON, BOYS-AINTCHA EVER HEARD OF A NEGOTIATION? MAYBE WE CAN TALK THIS THING OUT!
-...but try getting a decent hair jelly.
-Gopher, Everett?
-Well that's it boys, I been redeemed! The preacher warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It's the straight-and-narrow from here on out and heaven everlasting's my reward!
-Delmar what the hell are you talking about? - We got bigger fish to fry-
-Preacher said my sins are warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo!
-I thought you said you were innocent a those charges.
-But there were witnesses, saw us redeemed!
-That's not the issue, Delmar. Even if it did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi is more hardnosed.
-Baptism. You two are just dumber'n a bag of hammers. Well, I guess you're my cross to bear-
-This ain't no laughin' matter, Everett.
-Five... hunnert... thousand... each.
-Four hundred, Delmar.
-Izzat right?
-Damn! We gotta skedaddle!
-I left my pomade in that car! Maybe I can creep up!
-Don't be a fool, Everett, we gotta R- U-N-O-F-F-T, but pronto!
-Yeah, look at me.
-Now wuddya suppose is eatin' George?
-Whuhh...
-What on earth is goin' on here! What's got into you, Delmar!
-...I'm not sure that's Pete.
-You can't display a toad in a fine restaurant like this! Why, the good folks here'd go right off their feed!
-I just don't think it's right, keepin' him under wraps like we's ashamed of him.
-Uh, we uh-
-Pete have a brother?
-Deceitful! Two-faced! She-Woman! Never trust a female, Delmar! Remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent!
-Okay, Everett.
-Hit by a train! Truth means nothin' to Woman, Delmar. Triumph a the subjective! You ever been with a woman?
-Well, uh, I - I gotta get the family farm back before I can start thinkin' about that.
-Well that's right! If then! Believe me, Delmar, Woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days a man!
-Everett, I never figured you for a paterfamilias.
-So - where's all the money from your armored-car job?
-Huh. I guess they'll tack on fifty years for me too.
-It's Tommy! They got Tommy!
-'N turned into a frog -
-Scuse me... scuse me... we're the next act...
-What sat mean exactly, Everett?
-Well, you'n me'n Pete'n Tommy are gonna be the power behind the throne so to speak.
-I guess Vernon T. Waldrip is gonna be goin' on relief. Maybe I'll be able to throw a little patronage his way, get the man a job diggin' ditches or rounding up stray dogs.
-We'll go fetch it with ya, Everett.
-A miracle! It was a miracle!
-Aw, don't be ignorant, Delmar. I told you they was gonna flood this valley.
-We ain't one-at-a-timin' here, we mass communicatin'!
-I'm just makin' a point, you stupid sonofabitch!
-Y'ignorant slope-shouldered sack a guts! Why we'd look like a buncha satchel-ass Johnnie-Come-Latelies braggin' on our own midget! Don't matter how stumpy! And that's the goddamn problem right there - people think this Stokes got fresh ideas, he's oh coorant and we the past.
-I'm sayin' we har this man away.
-What's his name again?
-You don't know where his goddamn folks from; you speakin' outcha asshole.
-Finest governor we've ever had in M'sippi.
-In any state.
-Them straw polls is ugly.
-Stokes is pullin' ah pants down.
-Gonna pluck us off the tit.
-Pappy gonna be sittin' there pants down and Stokes at the table soppin' up the gravy.
-Latch right on to that tit.
-Wipin' little circles with his bread.
-Suckin' away.
-Well, it's a well-run campaign, midget'n broom'n whatnot.
-Devil his due.
-Ass right.
-Reason why he's pullin' ah pants down.
-Gonna paddle ah little bee-hind.
-No, I believe he's a-gonna paddle it.
-Well now, I don't believe assa property scription.
-Well, that's how I characterize it.
-Well, I believe it's mawva kickin' sichation.
-Pullin' ah pants down...
-Helluva idea.
-Cain't beat 'em, join 'em.
-Have him join us, run our campaign 'stead a that pencil-neck's.
-Enticements a power, wealth, settera.
-No one says no to Pappy O'Daniel.
-Oh gracious no. Not with his blandishments.
-Vernon Waldrip.
-Pappy O'Daniel be laughing' then.
-Not out the other side his face, though.
-That ain't your daddy, Alvinelle. Your daddy was hit by a train.
-Now Penny, stop that!
-No - you stop it! Vernon here's got a job. Vernon's got prospects. He's bona fide! What're you?
-I'll tell you what I am - I'm the paterfamilias! You can't marry him!
-I can and I am and I will - tomorrow! I gotta think about the little Wharvey gals! They look to me for answers! Vernon can s'port 'em and buy 'em lessons on the clarinet! The only good thing you ever did for the gals was get his by that train!
-McGill. No, the marriage'll take place as planned.
-Where's your ring, honey?
-I ain't worn it since our divorce came through. It must still be in the rolltop in the old cabin. Never thought I'd need it; Vernon bought one encrusted with jewels.
-Hell, now's the time to buy it off him cheap.
-We ain't gettin' married with his ring! You said you'd changed!
-Aw, honey, our ring is just a old pewter thing -
-Ain't gonna be no weddin'.
-It's just a symbol, honey -
-All's well that ends well, as the poet says.
-That's right, honey.
-...Time for this old boy to enjoy some repose.
-That's good, honey.
-That's not my ring.
-- in the gods - Huh?
-That's not my ring.
-Not your...
-That's one of Aunt Hurlene's.
-You said it was in the rolltop desk!
-I said I thought it was in the rolltop desk.
-You said -
-Or, it might a been under the mattress.
-You -
-Well, I'm sorry honey -
-Well, we need that ring.
-Well now honey, that ring is at the bottom of a pretty durned big lake.
-Uh-huh.
-A 9,000-hectacre lake, honey.
-I don't care if it's ninety thousand.
-Yes, but honey -
-I counted to three, honey.
-Wait a minute! Who elected you leader a this outfit?
-Well, Pete, I just figured it should be the one with capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, hell, let's put her to a vote!
-Suits me! I'm votin' for yours truly!
-Pete's cousin turned us in for the bounty!
-YOU LOUSY YELLA-BELLIED LOW-DOWN SKUNKS-
-Huh?! They dam that river on the 21st. Today's the 17th!
-Don't I know it.
-How's this a plan? How're we gonna get a car?
-To Washington Bartholomew Hogwallop. From his loving Cora. Ay-More Fie- dellis.
-Who was fixing to betray us!
-You didn't know that at the time!
-So I borrowed it till I did know!
-That don't make no sense!
-Well, I'll be a sonofabitch. Delmar's been saved!
-The preacher said it absolved us.
-Hell, at least it woulda washed away the stink of that pomade.
-A million dollars.
-An' all my meals for free...
-Me? Oh, I didn't have no plan. Still don't, really.
-The hell it ain't square one! Ain't no one gonna pick up three filthy unshaved hitchhikers, and one of 'em a know-it-all that can't keep his trap shut!
-Itta Bena, now, uh, that would be...
-...Nah, that ain't right... I'm thinkin' of...
-It was a moment a weakness!
-They lured me out for a bathe, then they dunked me'n trussed me up like a hog and turned me in for the bounty.
-It's awful white of ya to take it like that, Everett. I feel wretched, spoilin' yer play for a million dollars'n point two. It's been eatin' at my guts.
-Pete, uh, I don't want ya to beat yourself up about this thing...
-I cain't help it, but that's a wonderful thing to say!
-Fact of the matter - there never was!
-But...
-...No treasure... I had two weeks left on my sentence...
-I couldn't wait two weeks! She's gettin' married tomorra!
-Pete... I do apologize.
-Well, it's a invitation-only affair; we'll have to sneak in through the service entrance-
-This is crazy. No one's ever gonna believe we're a real band.
-We prayed to God and he pitied us!
-It just never fails; once again you two hayseeds are showin' how much you want for innalect. There's a perfectly scientific explanation for what just happened -
-That ain't the tune you were singin' back there at the gallows!
-Two weeks! That don't do me no good!
-Hold on there - I don't want this pomade, I want Dapper Dan.
-I don't carry Dapper Dan. I carry Fop.
-No! I don't want Fop! Goddamnit - I use Dapper Dan!
-Watch your language, young fellow, this is a public market. Now, if you want Dapper Dan I can order it for you, have it in a couple of weeks.
-Who's the honcho around here?
-I am. Hur you?
-Well sir, my name is Jordan Rivers and these here are the Soggy Bottom Boys outta Cottonelia Mississippi- Songs of Salvation to Salve the Soul. We hear you pay good money to sing into a can.
-Sir, we are Negroes. All except our a-cump- uh, company-accompluh- uh, the fella that plays the gui-tar.
-Well, I don't record Negro songs. I'm lookin' for some ol'-timey material. Why, people just can't get enough of it since we started broadcastin' the 'Pappy O'Daniel Flour Hour', so thanks for stoppin' by, but-
-Hot damn, boy, I almost believe you did sell your soul to the devil!
-Boys, that was some mighty fine pickin' and singin'. You just sign these papers and I'll give you ten dollars apiece.
-Now what can I do you for, Mister French?
-How can I lay hold a the Soggy Bottom Boys?
-Soggy Bottom Boys - I don't precisely recollect, uh -
-They cut a record in here, few days ago, old-timey harmony thing with a guitar Accump-accump-uh-
-Oh I remember 'em, colored fellas I believe, swell bunch a boys, sung into yon can and skedaddled.
-Well that record has just gone through the goddamn roof! They're playin' it as far away as Mobile! The whole damn state's goin' ape!
-It was a powerful air.
-Hot damn, we gotta find those boys! Sign 'em to a big fat contract! Hell's bells, Mr. Lunn, if we don't the goddamn competition will!
-Languishing! Goddamn campaign is languishing! We need a shot inna arm! Hear me, boys? Inna goddamn ARM! Election held tomorra, that sonofabitch Stokes would win it in a walk!
-...Yeah?
-I signed that bill! I signed a dozen a those aggi-culture bills! Everyone knows I'm a friend a the fahmuh! What do I gotta do, start diddlin' livestock?!
-We cain't do that, Daddy, we might offend our constichency.
-Holy-moly. These boys're a hit!
-But Pappy, they's inter-grated.
-Daddy!
-Mama said you was hit by a train!
-That's a maiden name.
-It's bona fide!
-She's at the five and dime.
-You, Zack?
-Yes, Sir.
-How was the flight? They take care of you okay? Long way from Norfolk, isn't it?
-Yes, sir.
-Listen, kid, I was sorry to hear about your mom. That's pretty rough. I would've returned your call a lot sooner but I was out at sea...
-I been calling for four months.
-This is it. This is where I live. I suppose you could bunk over there and you could go to school at the base.
-Great.
-I'm not finished. I'll only be in port one week a month and when I'm here you'd never catch me playing daddy with you 'cause it's not who I am. Like I told you on the phone, you I'd be better off in that state school back in Virginia.
-I ain't never going back to that school, sir.
-You got to kid. Let me spell it out for you. This is a whorehouse. And I happen to like my life the way it is and nobody's gonna make me change.
-Come back here, kid!
-What for?
-Okay, okay. You win.
-Thank you, sir!
-Hi, Byron.
-Zack, you little shit! You haven't changed a bit!
-Hey, honey, look at this! My son! Isn't he beautiful? You should've called!
-You were out at sea! Hey, guess what? I graduated. I got my degree.
-I thought you quit school. Last I heard you were on your way to a construction job or something down in Brazil.
-Yeah, I made some money down there, then I talked my way into another college and I did it. I wasn't magna cum laude but I did okay. You should've seen me in my cap and gown.
-Ay, palequero. Never hochi in the P.I.
-So what're you doing in Seattle?
-Get ready pard. This one's gonna blow you away.
-Zackie, nothing you do will ever surprise me, pard, not after some of the shit you've pulled.
-You... in the Navy?
-That's right. I'm on my way over to this officer school in Port Ranier.
-Why?
-To fly jets. To be the fastest motherfucker in the world. You gotta come and visit me. I'm only a couple hours away.
-Who gave you this idea?
-Don't be pissed. I'm on your side, Pard. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret. You gotta give six years to the Navy if you wanna fly... that's six years with the most uptight assholes God put on this earth. Officers aren't like you and me, man. It's another breed.
-You afraid you'll have to salute me, Chief?
-Fuck, no! Why would I care about something as dumb as that?
-Hey, what did you want? A lot of fatherly bullshit? A big pat on the back?
-From you, pard? Never. Thanks for the graduation present.
-Who's that?
-Nobody. Just a girl I've been making it with the last couple of weekends.
-Great ass.
-Yeah, I sort of thought so myself.
-Better watch out for that kind, Zackie. You know what they call 'em, don't ya?
-Yeah, I know.
-Back east in Newport, Rhode Island, they call 'em the Fall River Debs. In Pensacola, the Mobile Debs. In Norfolk --
-That what she was... a Norfolk Deb?
-Who? Aw shit, Zackie, let's not get off on your mother again, please.
-What if I want to talk about her, pard? What then? You know, that's all I've ever heard from you, since I was a kid... you never want to talk about that, man, and it's important.
-That's not how she told it. She said you wrote her every week you were away.
-I wrote. Not every week...
-She said you told her in every letter how much you loved her, how you wanted to marry her, have children with her...
-I never said any of that!
-I found them, pard, and read them myself, right after she did it!
-Okay, I wrote those things... and yeah, I had big thoughts of getting together with your mom... but when she hit me with being pregnant, I saw who she was. I'd had quiff lay that shit on me before!
-I knew you'd make it! Where's your girl? Didn't she come?
-You're pretty funny, Mayo.
-Hey, baby, you could get sent to war, get your ass shot down.
-Don't lose any sleep over it. I wouldn't mind being the first woman to fly a jet fighter in combat.
-Good morning, girls.
-Ever heard of knocking, mayo?
-Hey, did you hear? Sands and Kantrowitz DORed last night. Survival of the fittest.
-The whole world's a jungle, huh, Mayo? Dog eat dog down to the last one, right?
-Zack, we've got to go.
-Go on, Zack! Go for the record!
-Joe!
-Esther, do you think she's using... ...birth control?
-Yes, Joe.
-When did this happen?
-He doesn't mean anything by it, Zack. Do you, Joe?
-Are you laughing at me, dick-brain?
-What's your name, boy?
-Mayo, Zack Mayo, sir!
-How did you slip into this program, Mayo? I didn't know the Navy was so hard up. You got an injury there, Mayo?
-Where'd you get this, Mayo? This is really wonder work.
-Subic Bay, sir. In the Philippines.
-I want your D.O.R.
-No, sir. You can kick me out, but I'm not quitting.
-She may not make it through the program, but she's got more heart and more character than you'll ever have. I've seen your college record. I've never heard of most of those schools. Tell me something, Mayo. Did you buy that degree?
-No, sir! It was the hardest thing I ever did, sir! Until this.
-Stop eyeballing me, mister! I've looked through your file and done a little checking, and I know it all. I know about your mother. I know your old man's an alcoholic and a whore chaser. Life sure has dealt you some shitty cards! Hasn't it, Mayo?
-I'm doing okay, sir.
-Hey, what do you say we call off this little charade of yours over a couple of beers at Trader Jon's...? Come on, man. You're about as close to being officer material as me.
-Sir, this candidate believes he'll make a good officer, sir!
-No way, Mayo. You don't give a shit about anybody but yourself and every single one of your classmates knows it. Think they'd trust you behind the controls of a plane they have to fly in? Hey, man, I figure you for the kind of guy who'd zip off one day in my F-14 and sell it to the Cubans.
-Sir, that's not true! I love my country!
-I want to fly, sir!
-That's no reason. Everybody wants to fly. My grandmother wants to fly. You going after a job with one of the airlines?
-I want to fly jets, sir!
-Why? Because you can do it alone?
-No, sir!
-What is it, the kicks? Is that it?
-I don't want to do something anybody can do.
-Pity you don't have the character.
-That's not true, sir! I've changed a lot since I've been here! And I'm gonna make it, sir!
-Mayo, are those your friends?
-Yes, sir!
-You didn't kick him out...? Wait, didn't he tell you what he's been going through?
-It doesn't matter what he's going through. That's the whole purpose of this zoo. What matters is he freaked out for some reason at twenty-five thousand feet and that can't ever happen again.
-I thought the D.I.'s were supposed to help you in this place! What kind of human being are you?
-Mayo, the rest of your class knows about candidate Worley, and we're all sorry.
-Sir, this officer candidate requests permission to speak to you in private.
-I'm busy, Mayo. It'll have to wait.
-It's important, sir!
-Mayo, you didn't hear me -- I said I I'm busy! And so are you! Go get cleaned up!
-What're you waiting for, Mayo? Get your scuzzy ass up here.
-You're good.
-Congratulations, Ensign Mayo, sir!
-I'll never forget you as long as I live, Sergeant.
-I know.
-See you in the fleet, sir!
-Hi, son.
-What did you call me?
-Pardon?
-What did you call me, boy?
-I called you Sarge.
-Before that.
-I didn't call you anything before that.
-You said, 'How're you?' I am not a 'ewe,' boy! A ewe is a female sheep, boy! Is that what you think I am, boy?
-No.
-No, sir!
-No, sir.
-Lauder, Sweet Pea!
-No, sir!
-Do you want to fuck me up the ass, boy? Is that why you called me a 'ewe'? Are you a queer?
-No, sir.
-Where are you from, boy?
-Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
-Only two things come out of Oklahoma, steers and queers. Which one are you, boy? I don't see any horns so you must be a queer.
-No, sir.
-Whatever you say, Mayonnaise.
-What did you call me, Mayo?
-Now when I say "understand" I want the whole group to say, "Yes, sir!" Understand?
-Yes, sir!
-Louder!
-Yes, sir!!
-Stop eyeballing me, boy! You are not worthy enough to look your superiors in the eye. Use your peripheral vision! Understand?!
-I know why most of you are here. We're not stupid. But before you get to sell what we teach you over at United Airlines, you gotta give the Navy six years of your life, Sweet Pea. Lot of things can happen in six year. Another war could come up in six years. If you're too peaceful a person to dump napalm on an
-I know I'm late and I'm sorry, but Mrs. Rufferwell asked us to help with the cleanup and...
-Daddy, I don't want to get into anything with you tonight. I'm tired and I...
-I don't know what it is. It could be anything.
-Don't you dare ask me that question. I'm an adult and you got no right to push your nose into my affairs like that!
-Well, as long as you live in this house, young lady, you live by my rules! You should be dating local boys.
-Uh-uh! Not a chance! There's nobody in this town doing anything with his life, except what his father did, which is nothing. If I can't have more out of life than that, I'd rather be dead!
-Do you honestly think you'll find a boy in that... that officer's school who's serious about marriage?
-Yes I do!
-Is this you boys first night of liberty since you got here?
-You been through the Dilbert Dunker yet?
-Cake walk. Both my dad and my brother went through it and made it, so I know I can.
-Is your brother a flyer?
-He was. He died.
-Vietnam?
-Yeah.
-I had a big brother who died over there, too. He wasn't no flyer though. He was just your basic Marine Corps type. I was only twelve when it happened, so I don't remember much about him.
-I sure remember Tommy. Mind if we talked about something else?
-Something tells me you've been here before.
-You're sure it's okay?
-What would you girls like to do? Want to stick around here for a little or... or could I suggest another plan...?
-Like pick up some booze and go to a motel?
-Sid Worley, I think you're ashamed of me.
-Ashamed? No -- I love you, Lynette. I mean that. After I leave them, I'll meet you at the motel, okay?
-If you won't take me to dinner with your parents, I won't meet you at the motel.
-Lynette, I told you already, it won't work.
-By the way, shouldn't you have had a period by now?
-I'm a little late, that's all.
-How late?
-What difference does it make? If anything was to happen, which I'm sure it isn't, it would be my responsibility.
-Exactly how late are you, Lynette?
-What do you care? Suppose I was pregnant. Just suppose it. You don't think I'd try to make you do anything you don't want to, do you?
-What other issue is there, Sid?
-...I'd want to pay for the abortion... I'd want to be with you through the whole thing... by your side. So how late are you, Lynette?
-Hi, babe. Come on. I've got a couple of things I want to tell you.
-What're you doing out of uniform, Sid? You don't want to get in trouble.
-Forget that. Come on. Got a little surprise...
-I can't go like this. Can't you wait a few minutes 'til I'm ready?
-Sid! Oh, it's beautiful! You mean...
-Let's go tell Paula! God, I wonder where we'll be stationed first. I hope it'll be Hawaii. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii.
-We're not gonna be stationed anywhere, baby. I DORed.
-You what?
-I had to, baby... I'm no aviator. I was faking it, like I was with everything else in my life... up 'til right now.
-But... but what would we do? Where would we go?
-Oklahoma. I can get my old job back at JC Penney's. In a couple of years, I'll be floor manager. Oh, you're gonna love Oklahoma, Lynette. You and mama'll get along just great. Of course, money will be a little tight for a while, but we'll make it.
-Sid, there's no baby.
-What?
-I'm not pregnant. I got my period this morning. There's no baby, Sid.
-Come on, guys. It's five o'clock.
-Far fucking out! I've been wanting to meet one of the Blue Angels since I can remember.
-Lynette, watch your mouth! Somebody might overhear.
-Paula, look at the new Poopies.
-Yeah, I saw 'em. Poor guys.
-See you in a month when you get liberty!
-That was you guys, huh?
-Hurry, Lynette. It's almost midnight.
-Well, it you're not gonna ask, then I will. How was it?
-Great.
-Details, Pokrif. From what I saw he had an incredible body.
-Yeah... Mmmm...
-What did he do? Did he do anything that was different?
-Everything was different.
-How did it go with you guys?
-He ask you out for next weekend?
-No, but I told him I'd be at the Town Tavern next Saturday night, and he sounded like he might come.
-I told Zack about Saturday night, too. The fifth week's supposed to be the roughest. Come Wednesday, he'll be wishing he took my number.
-You hope.
-You serious about having him over?
-Paula, how far would you go to catch Zack?
-What do you mean?
-You know what I mean. Would you... let yourself get pregnant?
-No way... Would you?
-I never used to think I'd do something like that, but now I'm not so sure. You ask me, nine weeks just ain't long enough to get a guy to fall in love with you.
-That don't justify trying to trap a boy by getting pregnant, Lynette! Nothing justifies that. I can't believe you're even thinking like that. I mean, that's really backward.
-No more backward, if you ask me, than the way these hotshot assholes fuck us, then ditch us. Don't you ever feel used, Paula? Don't you ever feel like if this is all you get for your trouble then the sonofabitch ought to be paying for it...?
-No. I never feel like that.
-Lynette, where's Sid?
-God help you, Lynette!
-You're no better than me, Paula! You're just the same!
-God! I've never seen anything like that in my whole life! Did you see that guy's nose?
-Lynette, just keep your mouth shut until we get to the motel. Will you do that for me, please.
-What did you tell him about the baby?
-That there isn't one, as of today. I had my period. I couldn't believe it. He still wanted to marry me.
-And you turned him down??
-You little bitch! How could you? Was there ever a baby, Lynette? That's all I want to know! Did you make up that baby, Lynette? Did you??
-Hey, what kind of name is Pokrifki?
-Polish. What kind of name is Mayo?
-Italian. My mom was Irish. I got her ears. But the rest is all wop.
-Where are you from, Mayo the Wop?
-Everywhere and nowhere, Paula the Polack.
-Seriously.
-My father is a Rear Admiral in the Seventh Fleet.
-Really?
-Yeah. We've lived all over the world. Katmandu, Moscow, Nairobi.
-You got a girl?
-I hear most of the girls who come to these things are looking for a husband.
-Not me.
-Yeah? Why're you here?
-To meet interesting people, improve myself. You wouldn't believe the losers we got over in Port Angeles.
-Do you go to school?
-Think you'll make it all the way to getting your wings?
-Who knows? Guys a lot smarter than me are dropping out like flies.
-Just think 'I'm gonna do it!' Program yourself. See yourself making it. It'll happen. I know 'cause I just read this article in Cosmo, and it was about that very thing.
-I think we're making some of the locals jealous.
-Who cares? Mmmm. Now I remember. Mayo the Wop. Gee, I'm glad you're here. I've been looking forward to this all week.
-I vote for the motel.
-I shouldn't have done that. I should've walked.
-He didn't give you much choice.
-There's always a choice.
-Where'd you learn to fight like that?
-I don't feel like talking, if you don't mind.
-You want me to fuck you? Is that it? Okay, come here. Take your clothes off. Get into bed.
-Where's that coming from? I wouldn't fuck now if my life depended on it!
-I don't know who you think you're talking to! I ain't some whore you brought here! I've been trying to be your friend and you treat me like shit!
-Be a friend. Leave.
-You stayed after all.
-Wrong. I've driven a hundred and twenty miles, told a hundred and twenty lies, and said a hundred and twenty Hail Mary's since I saw you. Hungry?
-Paula, I never try to fool anybody about who I am, what I want... so if even in the back of your --
-I know who you are and what you want.
-What do you want, Paula? What do you really want?
-To have a good time with you until you have to go.
-Zack, I dare you not to fall in love with me. I ain't gonna get serious with you, no way. But how can you resist me? I'm like candy.
-You're better than candy.
-Zack, when you're through with a girl, what do you do? Do you say something or do you just... disappear?
-I forgot to thank you for breakfast.
-That was great.
-Want me to get a towel?
-I'll get it if you want.
-I don't want you to move.
-I don't want to move. But somebody has to move sometime. Eventually.
-You know, sometimes I wish I was one of those girls they're letting in the flight program these days. God, I'd love to fly.
-I don't care what the magazines say... it's just not as easy being a girl, especially from a Catholic family. You don't know the junk I grew up listening to, 'bout the way women are supposed to think and act.
-That's no excuse for not going after what you want.
-My old lady swallowed a bottle of pills one day while I was at school.
-God.
-The thing that really got to me... she didn't leave a note. Nothing. I've always hated her for that.
-Does it still hurt?
-I'm sorry. I can't sit with you.
-What's the matter?
-Nothing. Go back to the show, Paula.
-I've seen all that a hundred times.
-Come on. Invite me. All day the idea of a family Sunday dinner's been coming into my head. Since you're the only one I know around here with family...
-Hey, what about Sunday dinner? When're you gonna let me know?
-Hi.
-Are those for me?
-I'm so embarrassed. I knew I shouldn't have brought you here.
-No, it's okay. It was a great free meal. Everybody was so uptight I felt sorry for you.
-So, after you graduate you go on to basic flight, right? Is that in Pensacola?
-Zack, do you ever think about what it'd be like to have kids... a family.
-No. Is that what you want?
-Some day. When I'm sure I can do a better job of it than my folks.
-What would you do differently?
-For a start, I wouldn't marry a man I wasn't in love with.
-Why'd your mom marry that guy if she didn't love him?
-Because my real father wouldn't marry her.
-Your real father was an Officer candidate like me?
-Twenty-two years ago.
-Call me during the week if you get the chance.
-I'll try, but this week we go into survival training, so I can't make any promises. Well, thanks again for dinner. Thank your mom again for me, will you?
-Sure. Zack, I hope you know I didn't have to show you that picture.
-I'm looking for Sid.
-So?
-Paula, he DORed and nobody's seen him.
-Why'd he do it?
-Hey! You know goddamn well what happened so let's not play any games, okay?
-I'm not playing any games! Go look at Lynette's!
-I'd like to come with you.
-Why?
-Please stop it. None of that's true. Goddamnit, I love you. I loved you ever since I met you.
-Come on, Paula! You were looking for a ticket out of here and you didn't care who it was, any more than you cared with the last class of candidates you and Lynette fucked your way through, looking for a husband! Or the class before that!
-Yeah. You got the whole story just right.
-Beware of the Puget Debs -- and we all laughed, especially him.
-I'm not a Puget Deb. I hate that goddamn term!
-I bet you do!
-However you got it figured, I didn't kill Sid and Lynette didn't kill him! He killed himself!
-That's brilliant.
-How do you figure that's your bunk?
-Two bucks a buckle, Perryman. Look at that shine! Boonies'll cost you five.
-Hey, man, is the piss-ass money you're making off this worth the risk of getting us all kicked out of here on an honor violation?
-I'll never get it polished in time. Give me a buckle, Zack.
-I can't risk it.
-You'd make it. He's just getting to the girls. Come on, Zack. I gotta see my family, man. I couldn't take it if he keeps me here over the weekend.
-I see you didn't DOR, Mayo.
-Hey, do you guys ever... feel like you don't belong here...?
-How about that prick! He told me he wasn't officer material because he grew up poor like me.
-He said he grew up poor?
-The kid on the windy side of the baker's window. That's how he put it.
-That Foley looks like he's been through a war or two.
-Think there's any truth to what he was saying about those girls? Is that still going on?
-Jets.
-Hey, you gonna tell anybody about this?
-You told us it would grow out an inch.
-Could you believe those girls!
-'Nellie's Nymphos!'
-Look at Foley! Can you believe it!
-Nice, hospitable folks they get around here. I hope she comes.
-She'll come, pard. A rich socialite Oakie like you oughta be a big catch around these parts.
-You okay?
-Hey, you guys still awake?
-What's the matter, Sweet Pea. Foley finally starting to get to you?
-That isn't true, is it?
-I kid you not, Mayo, I am in love. We must've set a new indoor record today. You want to know how many times we did it?
-You'd better get smart, man. It's time to walk away.
-What? You've gotta be kidding!
-Remember what Foley said? His little warning? Those are the girls he was talking about. They're out to marry us any way they can.
-I don't believe that. They're just having a good time, same as us.
-Thanks for covering for me.
-No problem, but who's Susan?
-My girl back home. We're supposed to get married after I get my wings. She was Tommy's girl. They were engaged to be married before he died. I should've told you about her. I don't know why I didn't, except I didn't want you to think I was a shit for making it with Lynette.
-I'm not your folks, man. You love this... Susan?
-She's the sweetest person I've ever known. Loves kids. Works with handicapped kids every afternoon at the church. Everybody loves her.
-I didn't ask you all that, Sweet Pea. I asked if you loved her.
-You should've done what I did. A clean break.
-Talk to me in the morning. I feel like shit.
-Calm down, Sweet Pea. She seen a doctor?
-No, but she's gotta be at least a month late.
-It's a big religious thing with her and she won't even discuss it.
-But she expects you to marry her?
-So what's the problem? Girls do that all the time.
-I can't let her go off and have the kid by herself and not do anything. If it's my kid, too, then I've got a responsibility, don't I?
-Not if she won't even talk about an abortion.
-But it would still be my kid. That's the point.
-Do you know that for sure?
-Okay, but what if it's like Foley said and she got knocked up, to trap you -- is it still your responsibility?
-No matter how it happened, if she goes ahead and has it" Zack, there'll be a child in the world that's mine -- and I couldn't go through life knowing that and not knowing its name or where it lived.
-Sid, what happened?
-He's right, Zack. It doesn't matter.
-Please, Zack -- go back to the barracks!
-I don't get it! He's the best candidate in our class! Ask anyone! The best student! The best leader! The best friend to everybody! Couldn't you bend your goddamn standards just a little?
-What?
-You're fuckin' A we can do this.
-No problem.
-You're welcome.
-What if she called the cops?
-What the fuck is funny about this?
-God.
-There is not one thing funny here.
-So what the fuck are we supposed to do?!
-He said open it.
-You should see the look on your face.
-The fuck did you do that for?!
-Stop it! Stop it!
-Me. I am.
-That's right.
-Burning me. It's burning my eye.
-I have the gun.
-Yes.
-Remember that.
-What? What do you want me to do?
-What do you think? Get us into that room.
-You can. You're full of ideas. You just need to squeeze one out.
-I can't...
-One. Squeeze.
-This is ridiculous...
-Two. Squeeze harder.
-I can't just...
-Th --
-Okay, okay! Okay.
-You got an idea?
-Are you okay?
-The hell does she want?
-Yeah, just like a half hour, maybe a little more, and your mom'll give it to you. You can wait a half hour, can't you?
-You're wasting your fucking time, man, you're wasting my time. You don't know how to do this, and the longer we stay in here, the more likely she's gonna lose it and call the cops!
-She's fuckin' crazy, she killed the kid! She just killed her own kid!
-She's gonna handle it.
-That's your problem.
-Let me fucking finish this so we can get out of here.
--- posed to mean?
-You're here with me, you're already on the hook for one. Buy one, you get the rest for the same price. You know that.
-Get the fuck away from me.
-Bullshit.
-The walls are steel, right?
-Not that one.
-NOT THAT ONE?!
-WHO THE FUCK BREAKS IN THROUGH THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE?!
-We've got the Kid! WE'VE GOT YOUR KID!! What the fuck is she thinking?!
-YOU KNOW HOW THIS IS GONNA GO!
-Fuck.
-Fuck!
-Keep your voice down.
-They're not supposed to be here!
-This was your department, Junior.
-They're not supposed to be here!
-That's why the key didn't work, they changed the locks.
-Fourteen day escrow, man, that's almost three weeks! They shouldn't be here for another week! They don't own this house yet!
-Exactly how is fourteen days almost three weeks?
-I mean, right? Isn't it?
-Who is this guy?
-Raoul is cool. That's all you need to know.
-Unless Daddy comes back later.
-Forty-five minutes. That's all you said you need. That's like nothing.
-She'll call the cops, they'll be here before I get unpacked.
-They won't get hurt.
-What about us? What if she has a gun?
-Asshole.
-A guy shows you a gun, Burnham, and you insult him? Hey, who's the idiot? Huh?
-Where did you get this clown?
-I met him at the tables, same as you. And frankly, I'm grateful we have a little muscle right about now.
-What tables? I've never seen him before.
-Different tables.
-It's still a good plan. It's just... got a twist.
-Yeah. Kidnapping.
-Not if we keep 'em here. You can't kidnap somebody in their own house. It's just breaking and entering, unless we take 'em someplace. Or something like that, I'm pretty sure.
-Pure idiot.
-Got her right where you want her, Junior.
-Shut up.
-When you said you'd let 'em go I thought she'd come running right out for sure.
-I'm afraid to let you think, Junior. Things get worse when you think. Oh, that's gonna help.
-She said she did.
-Yes. Yes, it's all terrible ironic and amusing. You fuck. Now how are you gonna get us into that room?
-Open it.
-Be quiet.
-We're trying to scare them, not kill them!
-They're coughing.
-They're gonna die in there!
-Nobody is gonna die, man, will you please have the balls to follow through with a good idea? Think about it, what would you do if you were them, stay in there and choke to death, or come out?! Huh? We're just getting them to come out for forty-five minutes, forty-five fucking minutes! The worst that's gonna happen is they pass out, we drag
-Cell phone.
-She's never coming out.
-Hey.
-And we're never getting in.
-Do me a favor and don't talk.
-Hey man, after all we went through I am not walking out when we're this close.
-Close? Are you insane? We're nowhere near close! Fuck this, I'll make an anonymous phone call on Monday, they'll find the floor safe, and I'll inherit the shit. Little piece of it, anyway, it's better than nothing.
-We're not leaving. I'm getting in that room, and I'm opening that safe.
-You walk out that door and you lose your share of the money.
-Yeah, whatever.
-I mean it!
-Yeah?
-Everything okay?
-'Bout four o'clock.
-Somebody called you?
-Can we come in?
-What do you want?
-We'd like to come in.
-Can we come in?
-Stop asking me that. I'm fine. Who called you?
-You don't look so good.
-Your husband says you said "There are three..." right before you got cut off.
-May I ask what the rest of that sentence was going to be?
-Huh?
-One day you will learn to respect other people's time, Lydia, one day you --
-I don't have to tell you there is an acute shortage of living space in Manhattan right now and this is a highly unique property.
-Third floor, spare bedroom, den, what have you. Mr. Pearlstine used it as an office.
-Master bath.
-The hotel guy? It's been in the papers lately. His kids are all suing each other over his estate. He was a total recluse, paranoid, rich as hell, he was worth thirty million or something, now it turns out they can't find half of it. Somebody took something didn't belong to them!
-I hardly see how family gossip is germane to showing the property.
-Stop calling it the property, you sound ridiculous.
-Could the child please stop that?
-Oh, I've seen these...
-Hey, this is perfect for you... Absolutely! You're a woman, you're living alone now. Your alarm goes off, or you head glass break, or for whatever reason you think someone's broken into your home in the middle of the night. What are you going to do? Call the police and wait until they get here on Tuesday? Traipse downstairs in your sexy little underthings
-That door is a safely hazard.
-Working elevator. Mr. Pearlstine, the previous owner, was disabled the last ten years of his life. Highly unusual, the elevator, you will not find this in ninety percent of brownstones.
-A what?
-Everything's spring-loaded, even if the power's out it's fully functional.
-That's highly inappropriate.
-Push that button for me, will you?
-Watch your mouth.
-Wait a minute, wait a minute. We can still handle this. Can we still handle this?
-Cut it back a little bit.
-No fucking way.
-We're not gonna do anything about him, he's fine.
-If you think I'm gonna let my half of the fourteen million bucks slip away because of --
-"Half?" What did you, take a nap in math class? Three people, three shares, one third. Four point six six six repeating.
-I'm just saying, the man is a problem. And he's your problem. Wasn't me idea to bring him along.
-That's right, Raoul, it wasn't your idea, none of this was your idea, it was mine, it's my family we're ripping off, it's my prick grandfather who built that fucking room, it was my idea to get the plans, I found the floor safe, and it was my idea to ask a guy who builds these rooms to help break into one! Me, me,
-He puts his hands on me again I'll bury a slug in his ear.
-No, you will not, because without Burnham there's no way in hell we're gonna get into that safe, so as far as I'm concerned he can paint your ass blue and run it up a flagpole and you won't lay a finger on him, you understand me?
-Don't take no tone of voice with me, Homes.
-We're leaving.
-Suit yourself.
-Nobody leaves.
--- seventeen feet wide, fifty-five feet deep, forty-two hundred square feet, four floors with a rentable basement apartment, so five altogether, courtyard in back --
-Could you slow down a little? Or we could wait for the car...
-No cars. Feet are faster.
-How many more do we have after this?
-None, there's nothing else, you know how tight the market is.
-Something's weird.
-What?
-Makes me nervous.
-Why?
-Ever read any Poe?
-I don't think so, but I love her album.
-No, Edgar Allen.
-The furniture guy?
-Old Bernie didn't miss a trick with this room, did he?
-Open the door.
-Too many stairs.
-Got us in here, didn't I?
-Shoulda got an apartment.
-Well, I know that now.
-The phone works. Hey, I hooked up the phone.
-The crowd goes wild.
-478...
-Fuck him.
-Don't.
-What's going on?!
-He's going down.
-That room!
-What?!
-Damn it!
-It doesn't work?!
-Can't hear a thing.
-What do they want?
-What do we do?
-Wait.
-What if they get in here?
-They can't. They can't get in here. No. They can't.
-I heard you.
-Feel okay?
-Yeah.
-Shaky?
-Nope.
-Chills?
-"What we want is in that room."
-They're coming in here, aren't they?
-We're not coming out. We're not letting you in. Get out of my house.
-Say fuck.
-Fuck.
-"Get the fuck out of my house."
-Oh, please.
-Are you freaking out?
-Small space?
-Why did the chicken cross the road?
-What am I, a five year old?
-Why did the chicken cross the road?
-I don't know, why?
-YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU CAN'T FREAK OUT LIKE THAT! YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE WITH ME!
-I am. I'm here.
-YOU HAVE TO!
-What, what, what is it?!
-Morse code?
-Dot dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dot dot.
-Where'd you learn S.O.S.?
-Got him!
-We're never getting out of here.
-Do it.
-Yeah, but where's the third guy?
-If it looks like I can't get back, just close the door.
-No.
-What are you doing?
-Strip 'em, expose the ends, try blue first, blue is phones!
-Blue is phones?
-Call Dad!
-He'll do something.
-Uh uh.
-He'll know we're in trouble. He heard me, I said "There are three..."
-He won't even know who it was.
-What would you think, in the middle of the night? I mean, three what, three bears? He'll call the police.
-Stop it.
-He's just across the park, this is why we got places so close to each other, in case we needed each other, we're still a family, he'll help us...
-He --
-I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry.
-Why?
-I was trying not to tell you...
-What?
-Okay, listen, honey, you went double digit here, you must have been shooting out adrenaline like crazy, we gotta bring your blood sugar back up, okay? Can you hear me?
-I'm dizzy, not deaf.
-Hey, she's still a smart ass, excellent sign. Did you see any sugar in here? Any candy bars, anything sweet?
-Huh uh.
-Okay, you just gotta calm yourself down, that's all, just stay calm and your adrenaline will go back to normal and you'll be fine.
-What if I keep dropping?
-Not an option.
-What if I spazz out?
-Where is the Glucogen?
-Oh, you know, it's uh... it's in the little fridge in your room.
-I'm sorry, Mom.
-Hey, quit apologizing, you're starting to sound like Grandma. You're not gonna have an attack. Okay?
-Alma!? I uhh I don't think...
-What do you mean? We're black ain't we? And we care about improving the plight of out people don't we? Or you figure oppression stops at that thing dangling between your legs!
-Uhh... I with it sister but...
-Little Bobby... Just a kid...
-Tyrone...
-Oh shit Alma... you're...
-I'm okay... listen to me... Let's go with Judge, check it out.
-Those ain't cops.
-Alma I told you to...
-No...
-Okay now, er, Huey, so what's your telephone number?
-I have confirmed to you my address, that's all I'm required to by law to do. We have broken no law.
-What are you doing with the gun?
-Lemme see that rifle son...
-Well... is it loaded?
-For the last time Boy!!! What do those guns mean??!!
-Free? We're back where we started. Shit we still don't have a stop light.
-Well if anyone's gonna protect Malcolm's legacy it better be us.
-This brothers is gonna be a colossal event. We'll shut the mother down right at the capitol, in front of the cameras. Will you cool it? What's up man? What it be Bobby?
-What it be is, You aren't coming with us.
-What? We're the leadership, you and me. There ain't enough of us to...
-That's just it Huey. The pigs don't know how many Panthers there are. Both of us show and they might start putting 2 and 2 together. We're not even two hundred strong yet... but we got 'em guessing thousands.
-You got six months to donate to the party, Bobby?
-You got to sit on Eldridge...
-Man, El-Rage is El-Rage. You know him.
-Huey!! Man you gotta check this out... You're gonna love...
-Hold up a second... We got a decision to make.
-What's up?
-Dig it, you know those brothers over in San Fran... call themselves the Black Panthers too?
-...The police report says he was shot three times but the coroner's report says quite clearly that Denzil Dowell was shot six times. And two of those shots were in his armpits. Brothers and Sisters you know why that is? Because Denzil had his hands up!!
-Yeah... Sounds like the Constitution to me. With a little of the Bill of Rights thrown in...
-Inspector Brimmer, this is no joke During your surveillance have you seen any outside agitators? Professorial types? Communists?
-No. I've seen Black men handing out bags of food. Having meetings. Patrolling the neighborhood. Having more meetings. They ain't...
-Like?
-What the fuck?
-Sit down, This concerns you too. I don't need to say that your department's handling of the Black Panthers -- particularly Inspector Brimmer's "undercover operation" has been a complete travesty.
-You're Judge right? We need to talk.
-I don't know you and I got nothing to say to you.
-So... we understand each other Judge?
-I expect to hear from you soon. If Huey Newton takes a crap, I want to know how big it was. Otherwise I'm gonna come looking for you. And I won't be as "friendly" as today.
-Why didn't you tell us about the party you boys were planning at the capitol?
-Shit man. It was... you know spontaneous.
-Spontaneous my ass!! You told the press and you don't tell me. Remember you're working for us.
-Yeah... whatever you say.
-Get out of the car.
-What's with you?
-What are you crazy?
-Do you know how easy it would be for you to just disappear. Shit, you wouldn't even wash up for weeks. Do you fucking understand? I want you to move your ass outta neutral. I want a bunch of Panthers served up on a fucking plate. I want you to set 'em up... armed robbery!!
-I can't... they don't operate that way...
-Inspector Brimmer
-Yeah, it's me.
-Judge, hold on, is your phone safe?
-Who fucking cares? You cops killed Cy. And before you bastards kill anyone else, I'll give you your fucking set up. That make you happy??!!
-Hey... what the hell you doing?
-Go! Run! Go on! Get the fuck out of here!!
-What? So you can shoot me? Call it resisting arrest?
-I ain't gonna shoot you Judge. Look... it's over. Just run away. Get out. Stay away from Oakland. Cause it's gone... it's gone.
-Brimmer you're fucked up...
-Yeah... I'm fucked up. You're fucked up. Government's fucked up. Whole country's fucked up. You got no idea what's going on here. This is bigger than you and me. We're just little tiny soldiers getting moved around on some big asshole's desk. The Panthers... fuck you're history... they killed you and you don't even know it.
-Who's they?
-Drugs Judge, they're gonna flood West Oakland with dope. Jack you up and string you out like a two dollar whore. And while the community's shuffling for a fix, they're gonna snuff every Panther they can find.
-Who? I mean besides the FBI?
-God damn... Kid never had a chance...
-Hey... Cy... what now you a righteous Panther man, you too uppity to drink with us?
-Aaaah, Bitter Motherfucker... I almost forgot how nasty that shit is.
-Well don't go forgetting your friends.
-Ain't gonna happen, stay cool.
-You know it. Stay Black...
-Sabu, what the fuck you doing? Ain't nobody gonna push on this street.
-Shit, I ain't doing nothing. White bread asks for cocaine, I take his money. Shit... you know... It was just a hustle.
-Sabu... High white dude's the only thing you could hustle.
-I ain't gonna tell you no more. No pushing in the neighborhood, especially not on my fucking street. You're killing your own people asshole.
-Man, fuck you!!!
-Motherfucker... you stay away...
-Check it out... Great huh? I tell you those guys know what time it is. Man I'm with that...
-I don't know. Look around man.
-C'mon Judge we got to start somewhere.
-Yeah, and I'm gonna start by getting on my feet. Working on things from inside the system.
-Hey, this what they got you doing now?
-Have to pass on the revolution today man, I got class... But how about tonight, I was gonna check out "Cloud Nine." Just like old times.
-Can't... they're having a PE meeting at Headquarters tonight, come on down. Check it out.
-PE? What? You guys doing gym class?
-...Glad you came man.
-Yeah, only I figure you'd be the one doing the speaking.
-Man, did you see Huey down on Grove street? All up on that cop, that was beautiful.
-Yeah, it was alright. Hey, can you give me a lift?
-You got it. Berkeley?
-No, Panther Headquarters. Least that way we could hang out more like we used to.
-Hey, it's the invisible man. Brother where you been?
-Cy... I ain't even sure.
-C'mon we'll walk and talk...
-Naw... I gotta...
-Cy... Cy... Oh shit man... who did this to you. Was it the pigs?
-Don't I know it. Come on in Agent Rodgers. Sit down. Always a... pleasure to see you. How can I be of help?
-It's a bit more like how can we help you. Bay Area's become quite a hornet's nest in terms of subversive activities. And... well Mr. Hoover wants to reiterate that the FBI will be happy to assist local authorities in any way we can. On a strictly advisory basis... of course.
-Of course. Well, I appreciate your offer, but we got things pretty well under control. Same bunch of kooks you guys already have under surveillance. They're still doing a lot of yelling and pot-smoking but nothing to worry about.
-I see. What about the Black Panther Party for Self-Defense?
-Heh, bunch of shines running around in dark caps waving their fists about some streetlight. They're loud, but they aren't dangerous,
-Can you make a deal with them?
-Naw... They're kids mostly. Idealists. They actually think they're for real.
-You want me to put a man on it?
-One: "We want freedom. We want the power to determine the destiny of our Black Community." Two: "We want full employment for our people." Three: "We want to end the robbery by the white man of our Black Community." Christ, they're asking for reparations...
-Now hold on Rodgers...
-I want it duly noted, that this operation was entirely under the auspices of the Oakland Police Department. The FBI doesn't have a monopoly on agents infiltrating enemy organizations, my friend. As I've said before, Agent Rodgers, we have things under control in our city...
-Are you finished?
-These are memos from the commissioner, the mayor and Hoover himself, putting the Black Panthers and their subversive activities under the full jurisdiction of the Bureau.
-Jesus...
-Rodgers... this is no good...
-To be quite honest it turns my stomach.
-I don't think that will be any problem...
-But lots of our people don't read, man. They need strong imagery to help them out.
-Yeah... then shouldn't this be all of us together.
-Trust me Huey, this picture will be worth a thousand words. Now have you given any thought to that Peace and Freedom Party thing. They really want to hook up with us. Do a rally together. Hell it'd broaden our base of visibility.
-Yeah, but aligning with white organizations. I'm not sure now's the time.
-The time, my friend, is what Sartre called, "the moment the match is being put to the fuse." Question is, is the hand holding that match gonna be black or white.
-Yes sir I was.
-And did you witness the shoot-out?
-Yes sir, I did.
-From what you saw, did Huey Newton start the shooting?
-Huh, well then... did someone else start shooting?
-Did you shoot the officers in question?
-...at least that takes Bobby Seale off the street...
-Not good enough Rodgers. Not good enough at all. Black terrorists on the floor of a State Capitol. I will not say this again, these Negro Commies are to be stopped and now. You tear them down. Either from the outside or the inside.
-We're working on that...
-Granted, the Free Huey thing has become a bit of a rallying cry for the left...
-Rallying cry, it's an insurrection. Seale, that god damned Cleaver, Where the hell do these guys come from?
-Well, then we're going to take that power away from those bastards.
-You mean...
-That's right brother... listen and learn.
-Shit, nothing but Paper Panthers.
-We'll get them. Right now we got to worry about being armed and ready to protect Betty Shabazz. Those phonies sure as hell can't. We need guns.
-We need money first...
-This here's a "Panther Patrol." We see a brother getting busted. We check it out, make sure the pig don't go beating on the man. Brother gets taken downtown, we post bail, hook 'em up with a lawyer.
-You're a little old to be a school boy aren't you brother. Cool it! You're probably not the only one they've gone after. Stall a little so they believe you're for real. Make them trust you. Hey Tyrone, you figure feeding our children is gonna make The Man jumpy?
-C'mon let's...
-Alright, I'll stay. Judge, I want to...
-Huey man I got to talk with you...
-So talk...
-Alone...
-Yeah man, but where's Judge?
-That's right. We'd be proud to provide as escort for Malcolm's widow. How many men you got?
-Get the brothers a beer. Me too while you're at it. Men? Well we can spare six for security...
-No thank you sister. Six?!! That seems a little light. Cops are watching Betty, watching her hard. We need at least twenty men. And that's twenty armed Panthers dig? You do have guns don't you?
-We put our lives on the line today. Malcolm X's widow was on the line today. And your guns weren't even loaded.
-A gun's a gun man. It don't need to be loaded.
-Tell that to the pigs. Better yet tell that to Malcolm.
-Wait a second there brother...
-You were. infantry right?
-Yeah.
-We appreciate your help with this.
-So what's the deal?
-Judge... we're doing security for Betty Shabazz's visit next week. I'd like to have someone who knows there way around a pistol there. Someone like you.
-I don't know.
-You are down for protecting Malcolm's widow aren't you?
-Yeah... let me think about it.
-Okay man I ain't going to push. But remember the revolution isn't going to wait for anyone. Come on, we'll give you a lift.
-Welcome brother, have you decided to get down with us?
-I'm down.
-Yeah... You were a lot of help with those guns. Your soldier shit is bad- ass.
-I'd hoped I was finished with all that. But...
-You know, you're lucky to be back. Most niggers die on the front lines. Seems like that's what they're there for.
-Don't I know it. Every brother I knew in 'Nam's dead. My company... a land mine. Twenty of my friends dead in less than a second.
-Hey, GI bill pays for school. And shit, if I stuck around here, instead of signing up, I'd probably be in jail, or sitting on the stoop drinking Bitter Dog with Rose, you know?
-Yeah I know. You're smart Judge. You ain't no bourgeois nigger like those Paper Panthers across the bay. I need every good man to help us with the security on Betty Shabazz, particularly soldiers. You do solid on that I might have something else for you, something real important.
-Whatever you need, I'll be there.
-What it be Judge. Nobody got hurt, Sister Betty's safe. This was a good day...
-You were alright Judge, better than alright. You're what the Party needs. A fighter but also one that's going to school not making the man too nervous.
-I don't know about that.
-I do. You think you're smart enough to keep playing the game?
-What, I don't know how you mean?
-See, the thing about Panthers. For all their speed and strength. They are not naturally aggressive. They don't just go out killing, tearing through the jungles murdering. No, the Panther keeps his claws hidden until he is attacked, until he's backed into a corner. Then believe me those claws are fierce.
-Huey, you're losing me. What are you talking about?
-Me? You've got a whole lot of other folks signing up. Why me?
-Aw... uh... it's was just harassment. My driver's license expired.
-What's the pig's name?
-Brimmer.
-You got to keep very cool on this. Icy god damn cool. Cause baby, you just became the strongest weapon we got. Let me guess, he wants you to call him, tell him what we're doing.
-Yeah.
-And you're gonna do just that. But I'll tell you what to feed the pig. You alright with this?
-Man, this shit's pretty thick.
-Listen Judge, Oakland's Panther International Headquarters. We shut the Pig's infiltration down here, they're gonna think twice about running their games on other chapters.
-Huey, man who's gonna straighten out the brothers if they get on my ass?
-I don't know man. I don't know. That reminds me. Another little donation from the police.
-If the pigs only knew they were subsidizing The Panthers...
-Yeah well, they want a lot for their money. They want a felony, preferably with "violent intent." We've got to give them something. They'll kill me if I don't. And the Panthers are going to kill me if I do. I'm scared.
-I saw... but...
-Yeah, I do.
-Don't let the cops provoke you. We're there to watch and take badge numbers...
-Shit, we made him get his moms to give permission before he could sign up.
-Just a kid.
-I thought you said all the Panthers were gonna be here.
-You're a smart brother... you should dig what Huey and Bobby got to say...
-Maybe...
-Busted firing pin. You want only the legal stuff right?
-Huh?
-What? You don't like to see a traitor get hurt? I wonder why that is?
-If you got something to say, say it.
-What's up with you?
-Nothing.
-You got something on your mind... "brother."
-Sorry man...
-Fuck is up?!
-You better just kill me Tyrone. And when Huey gets out, when Oakland's just wall to wall junkies, you tell him you blew away the only chance we all got. I'm sure he'll be real happy about that.
-What are you saying?
-The pigs are gonna start flooding us with dope. Huey wants us to stop them.
-Chickenshits? What you bring your buddies with you?
-No man No!! Tyrone listen... we got to move man, they got a warehouse...
-You alright?
-Motherfuckers...
-We'll all get out of here together.
-You supposed to be a wounded vet, Motherfucka. What you do in 'Nam anyway, shoot gooks or shoot hoops?
-My Mom's at that.
-Rose, what the hell you doing here?
-This cool the heat off you any?
-Unh... Unh Man... I don't take no money from friends that need help. Fuck no. What do you think I am a bum?
-Judge... I... I shoulda told you this before but... well... fuck...
-What?
-It was Sabu killed Cy.
-Where is he?.
-Ain't no one seen him.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-Rose?
-Yeah... Look man, what I gotta say. It's just you, me and the rats, right? Alright... well... Sabu's back.
-Motherfuck... well then I got something to do.
-God damn it's him. I gotta go.
-Judge man. Watch yourself. Sabu's got juice now.
-It's okay Mom. I'm allright.
-You don't look alright.
-Yeah... cop hit me...
-I saw. I saw that big one hit that police man. Saw 'em drag you off too. They take you to jail?
-Yeah.
-Lord, never thought I'd live to see my boy in prison.
-You meet those friends of yours in jail too?
-Yes... No... Mom it's not like you think. They're alright. There out there trying to do something.
-I hear them boys, those Black Panthers, they're communists. They don't even believe in God.
-Mom, black folks been praying to God for four hundred years. Maybe it's time we tried something else...
-You believe that?
-I'm sorry we didn't give you more warning.
-Do you think Frances with an "e" is too manly a name for a girl?
-No.
-Do you think Francis with an "i" is too womanly a name for a boy?
-No.
-When?
-Late summer.
-Congratulations.
-I know who you are, Gabriel Marion. The last time I saw you, I was nine and you put ink in my tea.
-I... uh... that wasn't me, it was Samuel... I mean Nathan...
-It was you and it turned my teeth black for a month.
-If I'd known you were going to look like this, I never would have put ink in your tea.
-You call that a compliment?
-Next time we'll bring more blankets.
-That would be nice.
-Maybe we'll be lucky this winter and have just rain, no snow.
-You expect to hold Cornwallis with militia?
-I expect to try.
-Trust you and Harry Lee. Remember that damned overland you two thought up in '62 to hit Fort Louis?
-It worked. How many men can you raise?
-I say we drink the wine, shoot the dogs, and use the papers for musket wadding.
-Am I one of that sort?
-Well?
-I've just been inside the mind of a genius. Lord Cornwallis knows more about war than I could in a dozen lifetimes.
-Cheerful news to greet the morn.
-Personally, I'd prefer stupidity.
-He reminds me of you before you got old and ugly.
-What do you mean, old and ugly?
-You got me beat on both accounts.
-He shouldn't make light. That Redcoat should not have been killed.
-You don't know him very well, do you?
-I know him well enough?
-You got salt last week.
-Oh, right. Baking powder, we need baking powder.
-They're from good stock on their mother's side.
-You look well, Charlotte.
-And send us to war alongside Massachusetts.
-How did this... how did I let this happen?
-You couldn't have known.
-I should have known... once I would have... I used to be wary... and today I watched my son killed before my eyes... your sister civilized me and I damn myself for having let her...
-Thomas is dead but you've done nothing for which you should be ashamed.
-If you go, I'll care for them as if they were my own.
-Excuse me?
-I said, I'm not my sister.
-I know that.
-Do you?
-Of course, I do.
-Goodbye, Charlotte.
-Two pounds, fourteen ounces.
-You're surrendering.
-Yes, sir.
-What unit?
-First Virginia Regulars under Colonel Hamilton.
-We did.
-My boys... my boys... you seem to have been well fed. Thank you for that, Colonel.
-My pleasure, sir.
-Please forgive me for keeping you waiting.
-Apology accepted.
-Thank you, Colonel... I'm afraid I don't know your name.
-Colonel will do.
-Shall we proceed?
-Let us. Unless you object, I would like to deem this meeting a formal negotiation and, as such, there are certain customary practices. Perhaps I could explain them to you...
-I'm familiar with how a formal negotiation is handled.
-Oh?
-I served in His Majesty's army in the French and Indian War.
-Oh. Very well, then. Would you, as the initiating party, like to begin?
-You are familiar with how these things are done. In fact, I would like to claim aggrieved status.
-Very well, proceed, sir.
-First, you have in your possession certain belongings of mine, including clothing, private papers, furniture and personal effects of a non-military nature which I would like to have returned to me.
-Thank you.
-Please accept my apology for not having done so sooner.
-Apology accepted. Now, on the matter of the specific targeting of officers during engagements, this is absolutely unacceptable.
-That one is a bit more difficult.
-Certainly you must know that in civilized warfare, officers in the field must not be accorded inappropriate levels of hostile attention.
-And what are inappropriate levels of hostile attention?
-Colonel, imagine the utter chaos that would result from un-led armies having at each other. There must be gentlemen in command to lead and, when appropriate, restrain their men.
-Restrain them from the targeting of civilians, including women and children?
-That is a separate issue.
-I consider them linked.
-I beg to differ. One is a command decision on your part. The other represents nothing more than the occasional over-exuberance of field officers attempting to carry out their duty in difficult circumstances.
-Very well, let us move on to...
-Prisoner exchange.
-Sir?
-You have eighteen of my men. I want them back.
-I do have eighteen criminals under sentence of death, but I hold no prisoners-of-war.
-If that's your position, then eighteen of your officers will die. Nineteen, if you hang me with my men.
-Their names, ranks and posts?
-My harrier. Join us, Colonel.
-Colonel Tarleton, you deal with these damned rebels.
-It seems our Swamp Fox wants to have a formal parley.
-Are you going to meet with him?
-If I fail, you fail.
-Perhaps.
-And if I triumph, you triumph.
-Probably.
-How can we end this madness?
-Civility is a secondary virtue. It is superseded by duty.
-Do you see that, Colonel?
-Father, a post rider came from Charleston. You have a letter inside.
-The New York and Rhode Island assemblies have been dissolved...
-The middle colonies?
-Rioting both sides of the bay, in Chestertown they burned the Customs House and tar-and-feathered the Customs Agent. He died of burns. In Wilmington they killed a Royal Magistrate and two Redcoats.
-Anything about the convention in Philadelphia?
-What news?
-The British army is barricaded in Boston. Harry Lee, is here from Virginia, recruiting for a Continental Army.
-Is that why the Assembly was convened?
-Yes. He seeks a levy of troops and money.
-And the Governor?
-He vowed that if the Assembly votes a single shilling to Lee, he'll dissolve the body.
-Father, I've lost respect for you. I thought you were a man of principle.
-When you have children, I hope you'll understand.
-Do you intend to enlist without my permission?
-Have you seen any Redcoats?
-I have to get these dispatches to Hillsboro.
-You're in no condition to ride.
-Father...
-What now, sir?
-We put out the word. We'll start along the south side of the Santee...
-We'd cover more ground if we split up.
-Colonel, I didn't request this transfer because you're my father. I requested it because I believe in this cause and this is where I can do the most good.
-Oh?
-I've been doing this for two years. I'm the best scout in the Continental Army, the best horseman, the best shot, the best scavenger and I know every deer path and swamp trail between here and Charleston.
-Is that so?
-Did your father teach you humility?
-Alright, Corporal, you take Bennington, Harrisville, Acworth and the farms along Black Swamp. I'll take the north side of the river. We'll meet at Snow's Island.
-And, Corporal... ... be careful.
-Is it?
-If you're here only for revenge, you're doing a disservice to him as well as yourself.
-How old are you?
-You know how old I am.
-Less than a mile. Forty-one wagons, a company of Redcoat infantry, horses at the rear.
-Flanking riders?
-These four wagons must be his.
-Lord Cornwallis is brilliant. His weakness is that he knows it.
-Father?
-Gabriel? Are you asleep?
-Fourteen dead, eleven wounded, eighteen captured.
-I should have killed him when I had the chance?
-When was that? In the swamp at the expense of your men? Or when he killed Thomas at the expense of your family?
-No...
-Stay the course... your mother used to say that to me when I'd get drunk or lose my temper.
-She'd say it to me when I picked on Thomas or Nathan.
-You learned her lessons better than I.
-She spoke? Susan spoke?
-Full sentences. As if she had been speaking all along.
-She said... she loves you and misses you but she understands why you can't be there with her.
-Father, there's something else I need to talk to you about.
-What?
-Sir, I'd like to request a furlough. Two days?
-Granted. Where are you going?
-Cheraw Falls.
-It's beautiful there. Your mother and I were there once, before you were born.
-Tarleton has a list of our men, most are on it. A regiment of dragoons is going to the homes on the list, burning them, killing whomever resists, women and children, as well.
-Where?
-Don't go in there.
-Is it her? Is Anne in there?
-Father, tell me what happened at Fort Wilderness?
-You know what happened.
-No, I don't.
-Everyone knows. It's what made me a hero. Me, Harry Lee, all of us. I got a medal. Men bought me drinks. They still do sometimes. Everyone knows what happened.
-Tell me what everyone doesn't know.
-And what do they know?
-That the French and Cherokees captured the fort and when you retook it, you took revenge on them for what they did during the occupation.
-That's right.
-That's not enough. Tell me.
-That's why it was four years between you and Thomas. It took me that long to regain her respect.
-We buried them, then we went to track. It was a cold trail and they were moving fast. We went faster. We caught up to them at Kentucky Ford.
-Go on.
-It was a different time, son. And you're a better man than that.
-I see, do as I say, not as I do.
-If this war is about more than Thomas, it's about more than Anne, as well. Stay the course.
-He wanted to, Susan, but he couldn't leave his men.
-He left us.
-There are some letters here from him. Some are just to you.
-I don't care. I hate him.
-You don't hate him.
-An American nation. Colonel Lee, with your permission?
-Please.
-Those of us who call ourselves Patriots are not seeking to give birth to an American nation, but to protect one that already exists. It was born a hundred-and-seventy years ago at Jamestown, Virginia and has grown stronger and more mature with every generation reared and with every crop sown and harvested. We are a nation and our rights as citizens of that nation
-Mister Robinson, I fought with Captain Marion in the French and Indian War, including the Wilderness Campaign. We served as scouts under Washington and I have no doubts about Captain Marion's courage or competence on a battlefield. There's not a man in this room, or anywhere, for that matter, to whom I would more willingly trust my life.
-I stand corrected.
-Captain Marion, I understood you to be a Patriot.
-It's Mister Marion.
-Damn it, Francis! How in God's name do you expect to gain independence without going to war?
-A long time ago...
-Thirteen years...
-You were an Englishman then...
-We don't have to go to war to gain independence...
-Balderdash!
-There are a thousand avenues, other than war, at our disposal...
-Name five hundred.
-Royal petition, delegates to court, judicial redress, economic boycott, bribery...
-That's five, keep going...
-... time, royal succession, regicide, bribery...
-Wars are not fought only by childless men. A man must weigh his personal responsibilities against his principles.
-That's what I'm doing. I will not fight and because I won't, I will not cast a vote that will send others to fight in my stead.
-And your principles?
-One of yours?
-Gabriel.
-I recognize him now. Is he as imprudent as his father was at his age?
-No, thank the Lord. He's more like his mother.
-I'll see to it that he serves under me.
-Green Dragoons came to my home, killed my son, Thomas. It was Tarleton himself.
-I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry I wasn't here for this.
-There's nothing you could have done, Gates is a damned fool.
-We saw.
-I begged him to stay in the cover of the trees but he insisted the only way to break Cornwallis was muzzle- to-muzzle. He spent too many years in the British army.
-Where is he now?
-Last anyone saw, riding hard, northeast, his staff a hundred yards behind, trying to catch up.
-Who's in command?
-I am, I think.
-We're a breath away from losing this war. In the North, Washington is reeling from Valley Forge, running and hiding from Clinton and twelve thousand Redcoats. Here in the South, Cornwallis has broken our back. He captured over five thousand of our troops when he took Charleston and today he destroyed the only army that stood between him and New York.
-So now Cornwallis will head north, link up with Clinton and finish off Washington.
-And Patriots will start dying on the gallows instead of the battlefield. Unless we can keep Cornwallis in the South until the French arrive. A treaty was signed at Versailles after our victory at Saratoga. The French are sending a fleet and ten thousand troops.
-When?
-Fall, six months at the earliest.
-Long time.
-The bigger problem is where, not when. The French fleet won't sail north of the Chesapeake for fear of early storms.
-So you're going to try to keep Cornwallis in the South until then.
-Not me, you. I'm going north with every Continental regular I can find to reinforce Washington or he won't last six weeks.
-You expect Cornwallis to be held here by militia?
-Not held, just slowed down.
-They're nothing but farmers and you're asking them to try to keep a tiger in their backyard. They'd be better off letting it move on.
-They'd be better off, but the cause wouldn't be.
-How many men does Cornwallis have under his command?
-His wife was killed yesterday. She was with child.
-Don't touch him.
-How many men have we seen die?
-Two. Gabriel and Thomas.
-They're gone. And there is nothing you or I can do to bring them back. But there is something you can do to help end all this.
-It is ended.
-Goodbye, Francis.
-And congratulations on the birth of your son.
-Thank you. Maybe all of this will buy him some peace.
-Your son, what did you name him?
-Lord Cornwallis will be with you presently.
-Thank you.
-You may, of course, keep your weapons, but I must warn you that...
-I'm familiar with appropriate behavior at a military parley.
-Yes, quite, but you should know that...
-That will be all, Major. I'll wait for Lord Cornwallis.
-How far away?
-Don't worry.
-We could go stay at Aunt Charlotte's farm. She's to the west.
-Margaret, take William and Susan to the river shed. Hide there. If we're not back by dawn, go up the river to the Richardson's house. They'll take you to your Aunt Charlotte's farm. Nathan, Samuel, and I are going to get Gabriel.
-But what about Thomas?
-Reverend.
-Thank you.
-For what?
-For trying to impose some decency on that sort.
-It's a good measure of a woman that she'll have her honeymoon under the stars.
-How many came back?
-Colonel, let us help his soul find it's place with the Almighty and...
-He looks as if he's sleeping, doesn't he?
-Gray.
-I was sorry to hear about your son.
-I lost another a year ago, Thomas. He was only fifteen.
-Francis, tell me about General Cornwallis.
-Remember Braddock?
-That bad?
-Worse.
-If Cornwallis receives news that Clinton is coming, he'll simply hold tight and wait. He'll fight a purely defensive battle and he'll win that.
-No, he won't. There are two things you need to know about Cornwallis. First, he is a very proud man, He would rather risk defeat than share a victory. If you give him what he thinks is an out, he'll take it.
-Not yet, Thomas.
-Seventeen.
-But it's already been two years and that's two more years. The war could be over by then.
-Put those away.
-But father, they might come this way.
-Father, I saw a post rider at the house.
-Father?
-Father, you can't let them take him...
-Father... I killed those men...
-Don't blame yourself, you did what I told you to do.
-Who might you be, little Miss?
-I'm Ellen Creed and I live at 642 Alden Lane, Dearborn, Michigan. At least, I used to.
-But where are we going, Mr. Crandall?
-Best never to go climbing on old blowdowns like this, Ellie--sometimes they bite.
-Bite?
-Do you know what this place is, Ellie? Oh, I know you know it's a boneyard, but a bone ain't nothing and even a whole pile of 'em don't amount to much. Do you know what a graveyard really is?
-Well...I guess not.
-What if you can't read what's written on there anymore?
-Well, it still says some animal got laid down here after, don't it?
-They do it to honor the dead, Ellen.
-Ellie...God doesn't do things like that. I know you loved y'brother, but--
-It's gorgeous!
-Yes, but the rope might be--
-Honey, Church will be fine.
-I want to fly it! Can I fly it now, mommy!
-Paxcow says it's almost too late!
-Ellie...Ellie...what...
-Paxcow says Daddy's going to do something really bad. He--
-Who is this Paxcow? Is he like the boogeyman?
-There are no ghosts, Ellie. I want you to go to sleep and forget all this nonsense.
-Will you at least call and make sure daddy's okay?
-Please hurry.
-Yes.
-Hurrts! It hurrrrts!
-No-I guess not.
-Have you got a death-wish, Ellen?
-I want to look around, daddy-- may I?
-And that someone cared enough about that animal to mark the spot.
-That's what I think. I heard Missy Dandridge tell Mom when Church was fixed he wouldn't cross the road so much.
-In the end he's gonna croak, isn't he?
-Lovey...Church might be still alive when you're in a high school...and that's a very long time.
-Good God! Where'd you hear that?
-Yeah, I know...how are things out there in Chicagoland?
-Yes...I guess so. He was sleeping on the front porch when I left.
-Is he really all right?
-Yes.
-Because you promised.
-I've noticed it, too. I'll cough up the money, Ellen.
-She's in bed. She was throwing up. Ever since Mrs. Rogers called and said Missy--
-Ellie? What's wrong?
-No more chocolate chip cookies.
-Huh?
-What's up, sugar?
-At school Michael McDowell said she was gonna fry in hell. Michael McDowell says all sewersides fry in hell.
-But don't you dare say that.
-I won't...is Missy in heaven, do you think?
-I don't know, honey. Different people believe all sorts of different things happen to us when we die. Some believe in heaven or hell. Some think we're born again as little children--
-Sure, carnation. Like in that movie you rented, Audrey Rose.
-Well, it's actually reincarnation, but you get the idea. And some people think we just wink out...like a candle flame when the wind blows hard.
-I think we go on. I'm not sure what happens after we die, but yeah-- I have faith in that.
-You believe in it.
-I don't get it.
-Well, here we are, sitting in my chair. Do you think my chair will be here tomorrow?
-Yeah, sure.
-I'm not tired!
-I'm sure you're not.
-Then why do I have to go to bed?
-Ellie--
-Be good to your mother, darlin'. She needs you.
-Come with us, daddy. Please come with us!
-Do you swear?
-Jud Crandall. I live just across the road.
-I'm Rachel. Thanks again for saving the wandering minstrel boy, here.
-Excuse me, Mr. Crandall--I've got to change this kid. It's nice to meet you.
-How can you call it a good thing? A graveyard for pets killed in the road! Built and maintained by broken- hearted children!
-No--but if he drops by, I'll tell him to call you.
-Was it Pascow?
-Ayuh, I think 'twas. If I see Louis come home before I go to bed, I'll tell him to--
-Hey--they actually found the place!
-Movin' in's mighty thirsty work. I usually sit out on my porch of an evening and pour a couple of beers over m'dinner. Come on over and join me, if you want.
-You need a glass?
-Not at all.
-God, that's fine.
-Ain't it just? The man who invented beer, Louis, that man was having a prime day for himself.
-What were you listening to?
-Allman Brothers.
-What?
-Nice.
-The one that goes into the woods--sure.
-That road--and those Orinco trucks-- are the two main reasons it's there.
-You folks ready to go on?
-Who owns the woods up ahead? Paper companies?
-Not yet...how much further is it?
-I can hardly read these.
-No--not right out loud. Their stones speak...or their markers. Even if the marker ain't nothing but a tin can someone wrote on with a Magic Marker, it speaks. Ain't that so, Louis?
-My wife is not crazy about cemeteries of any kind. As you may have noticed.
-Did you tell me Rachel took the kids back to Chicago for a few days?
-For Ellie's birthday, yes. I didn't go because her old man thinks I'm a shit and the feeling is heartily re- ciprocated...they'll be back tomorrow night. Jud, what's this about?
-Well, there's a dead cat over here on the edge of my lawn, Louis. I think it might be your daughter's.
-It's Church.
-I'm sorry. At least it don't look like he suffered.
-Loved that cat pretty well, didn't she?
-Bagged cat. What a mess.
-Going to tell Ellie?
-I don't know.
-No need to apologize.
-Jud, this is crazy. It's going to be almost dark before we get back.
-It's going to be dark before we even get where we're going, Louis. But we can do it...and we're going to.
-But--
-Does she love the cat?
-Yes, but--
-What say, Louis?
-Nothing. Do we plant him on the outer circle or start a new one?
-What do you mean?
-We can't climb over that. We'll break our necks!
-No. We won't. I have climbed it a time or two before, and I know all the places to step. Just follow me...move easy...don't look down...and don't stop. If you stop, you'll crash through for sure.
-I'm not climbing that.
-No, you shouldn't have stopped. But you got away with it. Important thing is are you sure you're all right?
-Yes. Where are we going, Jud?
-Micmacs used to call it Little God Swamp.
-Is there quicksand?
-There's a lot of funny things down this way, Louis.
-It's funny, all right.
-Almost there, Louis.
-You keep saying that.
-This was their burying ground, Louis.
-Whose burying ground?
-The Micmac Indians. I brought you here to bury Ellen's cat.
-Why? For God's sake, why?
-I had my reasons, Louis. We'll talk later. All right?
-I guess so...but...
-You want to rest a bit before you start?
-No, I'm okay. Will I really be able to dig him a grave? The soil looks thin.
-What are those for?
-Doesn't look like they last long.
-Don't worry about that.
-Jud, why am I doing all this?
-But--
-I most generally don't start before noon, but this looks like an exception.
-What did we do, Jud?
-I tried to tell myself I buried him alive. You know--Edgar Allan Poe meets Felix the Cat. But...
-Wouldn't wash?
-No. I'm a doctor. I know death when I see it, and Church was dead. He smells horrible and he uses his claws, but he's alive...and I feel like I'm going crazy. It was that place, wasn't it?
-Can I have another one?
-They buried their dead and for a long time their dead stayed buried. Then something happened. Half the tribe died in a season. The rest moved on. They said a Wendigo had soured the ground.
-Wendigo?
-You and this old Indian rag-man--
-Well, she was a little upset at first, and that's why I thought you ought to hold your peace when you talked to your people last night...you did, didn't you, Louis?
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-Yes.
-Why, then, things should be fine.
-A little upset is all she was? Because I'll tell you, Jud, my brains feel a little like a nuclear reactor on the edge of a meltdown.
-A man doesn't always know why he does things, Louis. I think I did it because your daughter ain't ready for her favorite pet to die.
-What?
-Rachel not feeling well?
-Out of the mouths of babes, Louis.
-Poor Missy. God, I was sorry to hear. I remember when she was no older'n Ellen there, walking down to the store with her Raggedy Anne doll draggin' behind her in the dust. I don't know why God takes someone like her, who should have a bunch of years still in front of them, and lets an old shit like me just go on
-My father used to have a saying, Jud-- "God sees the truth, but waits."
-Ayuh...how is your cat, Louis?
-It's Ellie's cat.
-Your father-in-law packs a wallop, for an old guy. He and his wife gone back to Chicago?
-No...squatting out there at the Holiday Inn like a couple of vultures. He really thinks Rachel's going to go back with them. Her and Ellie.
-Jud, I buried my son today and I'm very tired. I wonder if we could just--
-You're thinking of things best not thought of, Louis.
---but I think the thought has crossed your mind.
-Shit! Look at this mess!
-I know the Micmacs thought it was a holy place...and then they thought it was a cursed place. That's why they moved on.
-Because something called a wendigo soured the ground.
-I'll bite--what's the bottom of the truth, Jud?
-I want to wake up. I want to wake up, that's all. I--
-Please, I want to wake up. Leave me alone. It's not my fault you died; you were as good as dead when they brought you in--
-The power of this place is old and always restless. Sometimes the dead do more than speak. Remember, doc.
-Leave me alone!
-The door must not be opened. The barrier must not be crossed.
-I'll tell you where the ground is sour--the ground in my heart is sour. Let me tell you something else, Vic-baby: Wrong is wrong.
-Timmy Baterman. That was wrong.
-Let her go. It's cool.
-And Buckaroo Banzai.
-Gage's gone!
-Thank you. Thank you so much.
-The movers--
-Yes--I know. This path, Louis? Where does it go?
-You're not really going over to have a beer with that old guy, are you?
-Well, I've got a million questions about the area, and---
----and you'll end up doing a free consultation on his arthritis or urinary problems and---
-My God!
-I think it's rather extraordinary.
-She's finally asleep.
-She was a little over-excited, that's all. Poor kid.
-It was that place. That creepy cemetery up in the woods. Whatever disease the kids in this town have got, I don't want Ellie to catch it.
-Jesus, Rachel, what's got into you?
-Don't be silly. Church is not going to die.
-That's enough of that kind of talk!
-I just said--
-You'll be fine, Ellie. Now you can be excused. Go and wash your face.
-Well, honey...you know that...
-Thank you, Louis.
-Getting there.
-I got eggs down here!
-I heard you tonight.
-I thought maybe you did. I know you don't approve of the subject being raised--
-I'm sorry I couldn't go with you to Missy's funeral. And that I blew up when we went to that silly animal graveyard.
-That's forgotten.
-Not by me, it isn't. I know how badly I acted, how unfair I was. It's just that I..you know.
-I'm going to try to do better.
-You better get going, hon.
-Oh Louis, I just don't know about this--
-I told you last night--this can be the start of patching things up with your folks. If something good doesn't come of Gage's death, I think I'll go crazy.
-Louis, are you sure?
-You stole my boat.
-My dory. The Jolly Mon. Where is it?
-Safe! At Port Royal. With the Royal Navy.
-That boat is my livelihood!
-You'll get it back. Or one better.
-How does he do that?
-AnaMaria, trim the mainsail!
-Aye, aye, sir!
-What's in your head, boy?
-She. Goes. Free.
-You've got one shot -- and we can't die.
-Enough of that! Name your terms.
-Elizabeth goes free!
-We got that part. Anything else?
-You must swear by the Holy Bible.
-No! You gave your word!
-Hah. Ten years you carried that pistol, and you end up wasting your shot.
-I know whose blood you need, to end the curse.
-Say the name, or I slit your throat.
-Allow me the humor of listening to your terms.
-Simple. I have something you won't more than anything. The way to free you from the curse of the treasure. You have something I want -- more than anything.
-The Pearl? Oh, that's fine. And just how do you expect this to work?
-That's your offer? You, sailing away nice and pretty with the Black Pearl, and all I have is a name?
-That's right.
-You see, I've got this honest streak in me -- in its own way, a sort of curse. Oh, and there's the fact that you have no choice.
-I'll torture it out of you.
-Blast you! I'll throw you in prison.
-Wait as long as you like.
-You're setting me up for a double cross, you with the ship, and me with nothing more than your word!
-Let's say I tell you the wrong person. What would you do?
-Jack, I don't trust you, and that's a fact. Never trust a smiling man, you can lay to that.
-See, that's where we're different. I trust you ... to do what it takes to get what you want.
-What -- you don't have the medallion?
-That fool woman took it. You be careful around her, Jack -- she's pretty enough, she'll steal your heart -- but pure evil inside.
-I'll watch my back.
-It's pure evil to make a Captain walk the plank of his own ship, twice in one lifetime. No good can come of it.
-Now, Jack. That reef is less than a league distant. It's a square deal all around, and you can't hope for better.
-You'd best take a swim, Jack.
-So how did you get off that island, anyway?
-You can go to your grave not knowing.
-No, I really think I do.
-Why don't I want to do this?
-You've no hope of surviving Norrington's attack ... that is, if you're mortal.
-Like after you've killed ... Every ... Last ... One ... of Norrington's men.
-I can't help wondering, Jack, why you're being so helpful and all? Last time you did that, it didn't end well for you.
-The situation has changed.
-That so?
-Now, you can take care of the Dauntless, right?
-There's ... another exit?
-Just so you know, Jack -- I don't think you're that clever. I think you're a fool. A mortal fool.
-So what now, Jack Sparrow? Are we to be two immortals, locked in epic battle until the trumpets of Judgement Day?
-Now?
-Looks like your back to having nothing to offer.
-That's proper, sir, according to the code.
-No reason to fret. It's just a prick of the finger and a few drops of blood.
-Turner blood doesn't flow pure in his veins. Best play it safe, and spill it all.
-Do you believe him?
-My apologies, miss. As you were saying, before you were so rudely interrupted?
-There was a lot of long words in there, miss, and we're not but humble pirates. What is it you want?
-I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means 'No.'
-I'll drop it!
-My holds are bursting with swag. That bit of shine matters to me ... Why?
-Because it's what you're searching for. You've been searching for it for years. I recognize this ship. I saw it eight years ago, when we made the crossing from England.
-You have a name, missy?
-You've got sand, for a maid.
-Thank you, sir.
-And how does a maid come to own a trinket such as that? A family heirloom, perhaps?
-Of course. I didn't steal it, if that's what you mean.
-No, no, nothing like that. Very well. You hand that over, we'll put your town to our rudder and ne'er return.
-Can I trust you?
-Maid or not, it fits you.
-Dare I ask the fate of it previous owner?
-Oh, there would be no sense in killing you, Miss Turner.
-Then why aren't you eating?
-Do you not know what this is, then?
-It's a pirate medallion.
-The curse drove you to gather this?
-Agreed. You have my word, as a gentleman of fortune --
-I think it would be rather exciting to meet a pirate.
-Man overboard!
-Boy overboard!
-Did he speak?
-His name is Will Turner -- that's all I found out.
-I apologize if I seem forward -- but I must speak my mind. This promotion confirms that I have accomplished the goals I set for myself in my career. But it also casts into sharp relief that which I have not achieved. The thing all men most require: a marriage to a fine woman. You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth.
-I can't breathe.
-Commodore, I must protest. Pirate or not, this man saved my life.
-On his heels! Gillette, bring a squad down from the fort! Elizabeth, are you --
-Elizabeth, I'm relieved you're safe. Clap him in irons. And behind his back this time.
-Commodore, you can't do that!
-You're speaking up for him again?
-No. The pirates have taken Will --
-Your father is frantic with worry. Our mission was to rescue you and return home. That is what we shall do. Mr. Turner's fate is regrettable. But so was his decision to engage in piracy.
-Commodore, I beg you -- please do this ... for me. As a wedding gift.
-I am to understand that you will accept my marriage proposal on the condition I rescue Mr. Turner?
-Elizabeth, I hereby withdraw my proposal.
-What?
-You may seclude yourself in my cabin. I'm afraid we do not have any ladies' clothing aboard.
-Then I can wear men's clothing.
-That would hardly be proper.
-Actually, I find it all fascinating.
-And that's what concerns me. Elizabeth, we will be landing in Port Royal soon, and beginning our new lives. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we comport ourselves as befits our class and station?
-Elizabeth? Is everything all right? Are you decent?
-It's -- beautiful. May I inquire as to the occasion?
-Although ... I did think you could wear it to the ceremony today.
-Ceremony?
-I knew it.
-Difficult ... to say.
-I'm told that dress is the very latest fashion in London.
-Elizabeth, this is hardly appropriate --
-What?
-Parlay! I invoke the right of parlay! According to the Code of the Brethern, set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew, you must take me to your Captain!
-I know the code.
-If an adversary demands parlay, you can do them no harm until the parlay is complete.
-You'll be dining with the Captain, and he requests you wear this.
-Tell the captain that I am disinclined to acquiesce to his request.
-I could never forget it, Miss Swann.
-Will, how many times must I ask you to call me 'Elizabeth'?
-I'm glad we got here in time.
-Why would my father send this to me?
-To keep it away from them? No pirate would sail to London, for fear of Execution Dock.
-If I had known --
-I can't believe he would make such a sacrifice for us.
-There. And don't you dare tell me that wasn't a proper kiss!
-Elizabeth, I think it doesn't matter that we are of a different class --
-It doesn't!
-Miss Swann.
-You are despicable.
-You?!
-Me!
-You're in league with Barbossa!
-Come on!
-Has it changed since the last time you were here?
-Captain Sparrow! We have to get off this island -- immediately!
-What? What's wrong? How will this help us get off the island?
-But ... you did it before! Last time --
-Last time, I was here a grand total of three days. Last time, the rumrunners who used this island as a cache came by, and I bartered passage off. But from the looks of this, they've been out of business, and so that won't be happening again. We probably have your friend Norrington to thank for that.
-So that's it? That's the secret grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow? You spent three days on the beach drinking rum?
-You should look at our contretemps this way: we've got shade trees, thank the Lord. We've got some food on the trees, thank the Lord again. And we've got rum, praise the Lord. We can stay alive a month, maybe more. Keep a weather eye open for passing ships, and our chances are fair.
-A month? Will doesn't have a month! We've got to do something to help him!
-Don't be thinking I'm happy about this, Elizabeth. But I see no use in wailing and gnashing my teeth over that which I can do nothing about.
-Drink up me hearties, yo ho ...
-What? What was that? Something funny, Miss Swann? Share, please.
-Nothing ... it's nothing. Just ... I'm reminded of a song I learned as a child. A song about pirates.
-I know a lot of songs about pirates, but none I'd teach a child. Let's hear it.
-That was before I met one, of course.
-Now I must hear this song. An authentic pirate song. Have at it.
-Well, perhaps ... with a bit more to drink, I might ...
-When I get the Black Pearl back, I'm going to teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time!
-Jack, it must be so terrible for you, to be trapped here on this island, all over again.
-Ah, well ... the company is better than last time. And the scenery has definitely improved.
-Mr. Sparrow! I'm not sure I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk.
-To freedom.
-What are you doing? You've burned our food, the shade -- the rum!
-Why?
-That signal is over a thousand feet high, which means it can be seen for two hundred leagues in every direction. The entire Royal Navy is out to sea looking for me -- do you think there is even a chance they could miss it?
-You -- you burned up the island, for a one-time chance at being spotted?
-You didn't tell Commodore Norrington everything.
-Nor did you, I noticed.
-He might delay the rescue ... and that would be too late.
-Exactly.
-These men will be facing an enemy that seemingly cannot be killed.
-I have a plan. If it succeeds, then any battle will be decidedly brief ... and one-sided.
-Curse you for breathing, you slack- jawed idiot. Mother's love, Jack, you know better than to wake a man when he's sleeping. It's bad luck!
-Well, fortunately, I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink, and the man who was sleeping it drinks it while listening to a proposition.
-Make it last, then. Now, what's the nature of this venture of yours?
-First -- have you found me a crew?
-Oh, there's a hard tale, Jack. Most of the decent pirates in town won't sail with you -- seem to think you're a jinx.
-Say again?
-I'm going after the Black Pearl. I know where it's going to be, and I'm going to take it.
-Jack, it's a fool's errand: You've heard the tales they tell about the Pearl.
-Aye, and that's why I know where it's going to be, and that's why I know what Barbossa is up to. All I need is a crew.
-A fool's errand.
-Not if the fool has something Barbossa wants. Something he needs.
-Kid's a bit of a stick, isn't he?
-We'd best drop canvas, sir!
-What's in your head to put you in such a fine mood?
-How did you get off the island?
-Blast it, I'm already awake!
-How do we expect to find an island no one can find -- with a compass that doesn't work?
-Now, lad, just because it don't point north don't mean it don't work. That compass gives bearings to the Isla de Muerta, wherever it may lay.
-I'll tell lee. Now, Jack Sparrow has an honest streak in him, and that's where the whole problem starts. This was when he was Captain of the Black Pearl --
-What? He never told me that.
-Jack gave hisself up for the sake of his loyal crew. He was marooned on an island, left there to die.
-It's a signal. If we resist, it won't just be death. There'll be torture as well.
-We're not going to just surrender!
-We can at least fight -- we might be able to kill a few--
-Raise the sails.
-The wind is quarter from astern ... by the time we're underway, we'll never catch them.
-Hands! Come about! Jackets off the cannons! We are to fire on our own ship?
-All the men in place, sir. Ready to fire.
-Sir! Shall I break out the cannons?
-Dead serious.
-You understand this ship cannot be crewed by only two men. You'll never make it out of the bay.
-Sir, I'll not see any of my men killed or wounded in this foolish enterprise.
-Fine by me. We brought you a nice little boat, so you can all get back to shore, safe and sound.
-Agreed. You have the momentary advantage, sir. But I will see you smile from the yard arm, sir.
-This dock is off-limits to civilians.
-Some sort of to-do up at the fort, eh? You two weren't invited?
-No ... somone has to make sure this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
-That's a fine goal, I'm sure ... But it seems to me a ship like that -- -- makes this one here just a wee superflous.
-Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough -- but there's no ship that can match the Interceptor for speed.
-What's your name?
-None? Very well. You rumbled me. I confess: I intend to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, and go on the account, do a little honest pirating.
-Well, well... Jack Sparrow, isn't it?
-Taking stock: you've got a pistol with only one shot, a compass that doesn't point north ... and no ship. You are without a doubt the worst pirate I have ever heard of.
-But it seems to be enough to condemn him.
-We had time to get to know each other.
-Norrington, think about it ... the Black Pearl, its captain and crew ... the last pirate threat in the Caribbean. How can you pass that up?
-I don't like the situation, Mister Sparrow. The island is riddled with caves. I will not put my men at a disadvantage.
-Funny, I was thinking along those lines. How about you let me go in alone, and while you're setting up an ambush, I'll trick the pirates out to you.
-You would do that?
-They left me stranded. Twice. What have you got to lose?
-Nothing I wouldn't be please to be rid of.
-That chart I drew up'll get you past the reefs. If you're steersman's good enough, that is.
-I'll be at the wheel myself.
-You look familiar ... Have I ever threatened you before?
-I've made a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.
-Do you think this is wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?
-You threatened Miss Swann.
-Who makes all these?
-I do. And I practice with them. At least three hours a day.
-You cheated.
-Move away.
-No.
-Move!
-Are you familiar with that ship? The Black Pearl?
-Somewhat.
-Where does it make berth?
-Surely you've heard the stories? The Black Pearl sails from the dreaded Isla de Mureta ... an island that cannot be found -- except by those who already know where it is.
-The ship's real enough. So its anchorage must be a real place. Where is it?
-Why ask me?
-Because you're a pirate.
-And you want to turn pirate yourself?
-Never. They took Miss Swann.
-I can get you out of here.
-How? The key's run off.
-Agreed.
-Not without my effects.
-Why are brothering with that?
-My business, Will. As for your business -- one question, or there's no use going. This girl -- what does she mean to you? How far are you willing to go to save her?
-I'd die for her.
-Come aboard.
-I haven't set foot off dry land since I was twelve, when the ship I was on exploded. It's been a sound policy.
-We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
-Commandeer. We're going to commandeer a ship. Nautical term.
-It's still against the law.
-This is either crazy, or brilliant.
-Everybody stay calm. We're taking over the ship!
-For a man whose made an industry of avoiding boats, you're a quick study.
-I worked passage from England as a cabin boy. After my mother passed, I came out here ... looking for my father.
-Is that so?
-I knew him. Probably one of the few he knew him as William Turner. Most everyone just called him Bill, or 'Bootstrap' Bill.
-'Bootstrap?'
-Good man. Good pirate. And clever -- I never met anyone with as clever a mind and hands as him. When you were puzzling out that cell door, it was like seeing his twin.
-That's not true.
-I swear, you look just like him.
-It's not true my father was a pirate.
-Figured you wouldn't want to hear it.
-He was a merchant marine! He was a respectable man who obeyed the law, and followed the rules--
-You think your father is the only man who ever lived the Glasgow life, telling folk one thing, and then going off to do another? There's quite a few who come here, hoping to amass enough swag to ease the burdens of respectable life. And they're all 'merchant marines.'
-My father did not think of my mother -- his family -- as a burden.
-Sure -- because he could always go pirating.
-Put it away, Will. It's not worth getting beat again.
-You didn't beat me. You ignored the rule of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
-Tortuga?
-Just do it quickly.
-Shut up, before you lose them all!
-Wait -- what about the pistol?
-But I survived. And I still have that single shot. It's meant for one man. My mutinous first mate--
-What's that?
-Depends.
-On what?
-Miss Swann! We're here to rescue you! It's going badly!
-No.
-Go to the opposite end of the island, and signal the ship. I'll keep 'em busy.
-Are you sure? Jack -- this is not something you have to do.
-Will -- don't do anything stupid! Don't say anything stupid --
-Do you have any idea where you're going?
-Jack!
-Are you certain this is the right way?
-Jack!
-Well, you're the worst pirate I've ever heard of. You're a man who can be trusted, who can be counted on, and who can't betray his friends. What kind of pirate is that?
-There's no *real* ship as can match the Interceptor.
-The Black Pearl is a real ship.
-No, it's not.
-Yes it is. I've seen it.
-You've seen it?
-Yes.
-You've seen the Black Pearl?
-Yes.
-You haven't seen it.
-Yes, I have.
-You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out?
-... No.
-No.
-But I've seen a ship with black sails.
-Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails and therefore couldn't possibly be any ship other than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're saying?
-... no.
-What's your business in Port Royal, 'Mr. Smith'?
-I think he's telling the truth.
-He's not telling the truth.
-He may be.
-That Jack Sparrow ... he talked about the Black Pearl.
-Mentioned it, is more what he did.
-Captain Norrington... I appreciate your fervor, but I am concerned about the effect this subject will have on my daughter.
-He's still breathing.
-What happened here?
-Has my daughter given you an answer yet?
-No. She hasn't.
-Well, she had a very taxing day... Ghastly weather tonight.
-Commodore --
-A moment.
-But --
-Please.
-How long do you leave him in there?
-Mr. Sim, when you do locate him. Do not scare him off again. Just watch him. I think you can handle that. Right, Mr. Sim?
-Look, I don't mean to rain on everyone's ascension here, but we got a little problem.
-Speak.
-Dr. Argon, everything's starting to come apart here. You hired me to take care of these matters of security and I am trying, but elements are making my job impossible.
-Have you found Dr. Bright?
-Wheelchair accessible.
-Not anymore, Mr. O'Brien. The nanobot has changed that.
-If you think I would ever give you the nanobot after this, you are deluding yourself.
-Mr. Sim I want you to return to Dr. Bright's. I believe she is hiding something of ours there.
-Dr. Bright, I don't have to do anything.
-But in another twenty-four hours the core meltdown will be beyond the stabilization period. There will be no way to stop it.
-You can't mean that.
-Something to drink, Dr. Bright?
-No, thank you.
-We will always love most that which we create. Don't you agree, Susan?
-I brought you up here, Dr. Bright, because I want you to understand that we are on the path. The only difference is that you are walking with your head down, afraid to look up, to see where the path is going.
-I suppose you are going to tell me where it is going.
-Pollution?
-This is our world, Susan, and once you realize that, you will understand that the only place our path can end is on the throne of heaven. Science is the quest for divine perfection.
-How do you know we're not heading in the wrong direction?
-I swear to you, Argon, if you don't stop the meltdown that nanobot will be the last one I ever build.
-What are you going to do to him?
-What did you use?
-I can explain it. Attempted murder wasn't enough for him. He wants to add kidnapping to the charges.
-... plastic.
-Wow, that is one moving story. Take it easy on my heart strings. Now I really feel guilty complaining about you shooting me up with your poison.
-Poison? I'm surprised at you. You lack vision, Mr. O'Brien.
-The body is just another part of nature and ever since we gave up trees for central air, there has been nothing sacred about nature. Nature is the enemy, Mr. O'Brien, and science is our greatest weapon against her.
-I should kill you right now for what you did to me!
-How apropos.
-As you can see I am a new man, just like you.
-It remains to be seen who is the good guy and who is the bad guy. History is written by the victor.
-I know what you're doing.
-You mean besides kicking your ass?!
-Please, O'Brien, don't do this to me! I'll give you anything you want!
-You can't do this! You owe me, O'Brien. I made you plastic! I made you!
-Like rotting meat.
-Oh no? Smell this.
-Icarus, please, if you want me to give you a bath just say so.
-She's working as fast as she can, Icarus. It will be ready soon.
-It's ready now, I know it is.
-She says it's not.
-She's lying. She lost the first one on purpose.
-She did not. The mouse ran down the drain.
-She let it escape because she wants me to die.
-Icky! What's happening?
-It works, Poppy. It works, it works!
-Now, Icky, I don't need you winding yourself up. I need you focused and in control.
-But, Poppy, you don't know what this means --
-You don't either. We won't know anything until we find that guy and find out if he's alive or what.
-Yes, that's true. We have to find him, run tests, determine if the polymerization is stable.
-In the meantime, we're going to need someone to deal with that mess in the lab. I don't think we should call Dr. Bright.
-Oh no. No. We'll get her assistant. What's-his-name? Nebbishman?
-A containment crew is going to attract a lot of attention.
-Gently, Ott. Gently.
-Do you think she will give us the designs?
-Eventually. These things are always a matter of leverage.
-And you think O'Brien is that leverage?
-And you still believe he's going to come here?
-Based on what we know of him, that would seem inevitable.
-Do you think she loves him?
-Poppy, are you in one of your moods again?
-You know how I feel about you. You know how much I need you. How much I trust you. I would do anything for you.
-Why are there two ottomans?
-Look at me, Icarus! Look at my body. I've done everything, changed anything you asked me to. 'We will always love most that which we create.' Is that still true?
-Yes. Yes, of course it is.
-Then you still love me?
-Icarus?
-I promise, my dear, I will give the matter some consideration.
-Consideration?
-Can you feel it, Poppy? The presence of the moment? Can you feel the weight of its significance?
-Oh yes, Icky. I can feel it.
-This is what my entire life has been directed at, this moment, this threshold.
-It will be an ascension.
-I was wondering if you'd finished considering?
-Considering what?
-Poppy, please --
-If you loved me like I loved you?
-Did you feel that?
-Did I? I've been waiting for that for years.
-Okay. Alright. Okey-dokey. Now, we need the nanobot. The nanobot that initiated the reaction. Once we have that we can stabilize the meltdown. Simple really. No problem.
-The fact is, that the milk has been spilled and now we need you to tell us how to clean it up.
-Facts, Dr. Nebbleman. Facts. You've been using cryogenics to control the waste from the mouse experiment, haven't you?
-Well, yes. The replicators are not as active at low temperatures.
-Then perhaps we can use liquid nitrogen to keep the meltdown under control.
-That might work.
-Well, at this time, I mean that is to say, it is difficult to project --
-She could have given him something to stimulate his kidneys.
-Where did he go?
-They're here! They're here! We have the nanobot.
-Dr. Makeo is working on it now, sir. I estimate at least another six hours.
-Of course you understand, Dr. Argon, that once the nanobot is inside of you, there is no going back --
-Excellent work, Dr. Nebbleman. You have outdone yourself.
-It'll be better for us if he simply disappears. The gardener will know what to do.
-Wait, wait, can I at least have his body?
-Hey!
-You don't want this.
-Yeah, I do!
-You have no idea what this is doing to your body.
-Here, kid, this is great stuff. Why don't you give it a try?
-Yeah? So what?
-So what? So what? For starters, how about littering is a crime.
-Haw-haw! Why don't you run off and find a cop and I'll wait right here.
-Why don't you just put this in your pocket so when you see a garbage can you can put it where it belongs.
-What is it with you litterbugs? Is it a territorial thing, marking your turf with your garbage?
-You better quit pushing me, pal.
-I just want to know what goes on in the mind of a litterbug. What chemical is secreted by your smooth brain that tells you, 'It's okay, just chuck it'?
-Look, asshole, I don't got time for this. If you got a problem, you better take care of it yourself.
-Oh no, no, no. No can do. You enjoyed a tasty beverage and thus this receptacle becomes your responsibility and I don't care if it's a Styrofoam cup or the Exxon Valdez! You've got to learn to take responsibility!
-What are you going to do? Make me throw it out?
-What? Oh, I'm sorry, Nigel. I was just thinking...
-Aaabout...?
-This morning. I saw someone I haven't seen in a long time.
-A man?
-Yeah. I knew him when I was still in school.
-What did he want?
-Do you remember about five years ago, that uh... incident at Purnell Labs?
-Oh yeah. They were working on molecular assemblers, too, weren't they?
-They also tried using viral R.N.A. as the bonding element.
-Yeah, somebody broke in and stole the samples, one of those animal rights groups, right? I remember now, they freed all the monkeys which caused that huge pileup on the Massachusetts Turnpike, right?
-Yeah. But it wasn't a group. It was one man.
-What did security say?
-They'll in validate the key. Probably nothing.
-Well, you got another problem.
-The replicators?
-Worse. Mrs. Argon wants to talk to you. She's waiting in the lab.
-I bet he hasn't read a single report we've written on the waste problem.
-I hope you're right. I'd feel a lot worse if he had read them and just didn't care.
-What are you going to do?
-You were never invited to my house.
-Of course, sir.
-I don't believe this is happening...
-Susan, Dr. Argon is giving you an opportunity here.
-There's a guard outside my door! I'm a prisoner, Nigel! Do you understand that?
-Dr. Argon would say we are all prisoners.
-Argon is a lunatic! I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe I could control him. You heard what he said, Nigel. He doesn't care if all of Calumet City is turned to Jell-O. How can that not affect you?
-Because I am a new man, Susan. I am a man of vision. Your problem, Susan, is that you're always looking down. If you'd just look up you'd see the big picture and in the big picture men of vision do not dwell on what might be lost. They focus on what can be gained.
-Is that what Argon told you?
-No! Well, not those exact words.
-Nigel, can't you see he's using you?
-Of course he is, but at least there isn't a security guard outside my door.
-You're afraid of him.
-I'm a scientist. I have lived my whole life by the diagnostic application of fact and the fact is, Argon is going to get whatever he wants, so if I were you, I'd give it to him.
-You mean the designs for the nanobot? You think after this I'm going to give them to him?
-I think that either you're going to give them to him or he's going to make you give them to him.
-Yes?
-It's Sim. We're almost there.
-You want to tell me what I'm looking for?
-I've only been invited to her house once, but I know there is a basement lab that she uses for private research.
-What's it smell like?
-Smell? Uh, something like methylcyanoacrylate.
-Like Crazy Glue?
-Sir, please try to hold still.
-He's probably right, sir, the building is probably going to collapse under its own weight.
-Susan!
-Daniel...
-When did you...?
-Been out for six months now.
-Really? What have you been doing?
-Somebody has to.
-Same old Daniel.
-Oh no. Not by a long shot. I may look like the old Daniel O'Brien, but on the inside, nothing is the same.
-Is that so?
-Oh yeah. See, Susie, a man doesn't do the hard time and just pick up where he left off. Oh no. The big house does things to a man.
-The big house?
-The big house.
-Jesus, Daniel. It wasn't Ryker's Island. It was work camp for white collar criminals.
-I've been thinking about you a lot all these years, locked up in my cell. I'd tear through every issue of the Midwest Science Journal looking for your latest findings, watching as you slowly worked your polymerization experiments up through single celled organisms to that holiest of holies, the fruit fly. Exciting stuff. I got to tell you, it really kept me going.
-I guess I should be flattered.
-I remember you said, nanotechnology was going to change the world.
-It already is.
-I've read they're using it to repair cancer cells.
-And for cleaning up oil spills.
-Do you ever wonder what happened to us, Susie?
-Yeah.
-Well, it was good to see you, Daniel, but I have to be going.
-Nothing really worthwhile.
-And what I love about molecular science is the way it revolutionizes how we have to think. It unifies the entire world on a single level. Everything is completely connected. Sometimes I can really feel it, everything around us, just a small part of a whole. It's really wonderful.
-Yeah, we'll see.
-We'll see? What does that mean?
-We'll see how wonderful it is after you spend the next twenty years making Agent Orange.
-God, Daniel, I'm not going to make Agent Orange.
-We've had this conversation already, Daniel.
-I'm sorry I brought the whole thing up! If you're gonna flip your wig --
-You think it's a coincidence that they have all these aisles lined up like this, like a little maze! We're all lab rats running through their maze, pulling lever A or lever B, each designed to create some kind of bio-chemical dependency. All the while they're everywhere, watching us, two-way mirrors, surveillance cameras, nodding to each other, making little notes.
-You're insane.
-Daniel, give him the Trix.
-Susie! You gotta help me!
-Daniel, what are you doing here?
-Please, Susan! I need help! Something is wrong with me!
-Sorry, Daniel, I'm a physicist, not a psychiatrist.
-They did it to me!
-... just like the mouse.
-Mouse? What mouse?
-My first organic-polymerization was a lab mouse.
-What happened to it?
-You don't know?
-It escaped from the lab before we could finish the experiment.
-But you've polymerized single-celled bacteria and the fruit flies, I know you have.
-Yes.
-Oh no, no, no! You've got to be able to fix me! Please, Susan, tell me you can make me normal again!
-Oh God, please! This can't be happening! I can't be plastic! A plastic man?!
-Daniel!
-We don't have time for hysterics.
-We don't?
-What are these?
-Mostly caffeine diuretics. Help you go to the bathroom.
-Why?
-Pills... you know how I feel about pills.
-Why do we need it?
-The nanobot is the only thing that can stabilize the waste.
-To put is simply, the nanobot inside you is a microscopic machine encoded with information like a strand of messenger R.N.A. that is programmed to synthesize your molecules with the polyisoprenes of the assembler fluid, rebuilding your entire organic system on a molecular level.
-The nanobot combined your molecules with the plastic molecules in the white assembler fluid, so that on a molecular level you now have more in common with a Good Year tire than a human being.
-Got it.
-The problem is the by-product created by the process.
-The replicators start off like assemblers, but the replicators never stabilize.
-That was an egg?
-Three days ago it was.
-What do these replicators do to people?
-So right now there's little replicators spreading throughout Argon's lab?
-That's right.
-I think while we're waiting, we had better run some basic diagnostics on you.
-Lungs sound fine. You didn't have any pre-existing physical conditions, did you? Allergies? Infections?
-Is something wrong?
-Susan!
-Look at this!
-Just look at it!
-Oh yeah, real funny. Yuk-yuk. Let's laugh at everything a man believes in.
-I'm sorry, Daniel, but you have to admit it's pretty ironic that you of all people would be the first man ever polymerized. It's got to mean something.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Just giving credit where credit is due.
-You have no one to blame but yourself.
-Blame the victim.
-Victim my ass! You stole my security key and used it to break into my lab to do who knows what kind of damage! Maybe this is the end of the story and you finally got what you deserved!
-This is what I deserve for trying to protect the world from a madman and his mercenary physicists?
-You're not protecting the world, you're obstructing progress!
-I don't consider uncontrollable toxic waste progress!
-And I'm sure you thought Columbus was going to sail off the edge of the world!
-But lo and behold he found another world that progress could annihilate!
-Come on, I don't see you living in a cave!
-Just like old times.
-I want you to know that I really appreciate you helping me.
-I feel very emotional right now. A bit out of control.
-Probably the caffeine.
-Do you have something to bring me down?
-Uh oh. I remember that temper.
-What's wrong?
-The nanobot... it's not here...
-How far can you stretch?
-I'm going to go out for a while. I want to take the blood samples to a lab that has the equipment I need.
-What did you want my hair for?
-I could go with you.
-I think it would be better for me to go alone. I'm sure Sim is looking for you. Just sit tight. I'll bring you back a pizza.
-No cheese.
-That's pretty good.
-What's that?
-It's a crime fighting costume, what do you think? It's underwear, so if you lose your clothes you'll still be decent.
-That's going to fit me?
-You made this out of my hair?
-Did you go?
-Who is he?
-Oh no. They're trying to blame you for the accident. That means they must not have been able to control the replicators.
-I can't go back to jail. I gotta get out of here.
-I don't believe it. You're here! Oh thank God.
-You didn't think I could just leave you?
-I didn't know what was going to happen. I was just so worried something was going to happen to you.
-Oh no! Argon! We have to stop him before he uses the nanobot! We have to get the nanobot!
-Where is it?
-Argon's private lab.
-Run, Daniel! Get out of here!
-You saved my life.
-Susie... I...
-What in the...?
-Oh shit, the meltdown. It's spread to the tower.
-We've got to get the nanobot.
-It's too late. Argon injected it.
-That means the nanobot is still inside him.
-Yes.
-What would happen if I threw him into the core?
-Daniel, just forget Argon. Let's get out of here. We'll find another way to stop the waste.
-You're not going after Argon!
-I have to!
-God, when we were in that store all I could think about was that one time, when we were in school, and you attacked that little kid who wanted some cereal. Do you remember that?
-I remember I was trying to help...
-God, what a fight that was.
-We were different people then.
-Things do change.
-You! I remember you!
-What? I'm not going anywhere!
-Oh yes you are!
-I get it. You're the goon fetch boy. The zookeeper Argon calls in when one of his guinea pigs gets loose.
-Only this ain't no tranquilizer gun. Now let's go!
-This is wonderfully accommodating of you all. Now I won't have to come looking for you.
-You were looking for us?
-Yeah, I have something I've been meaning to give you.
-Yeah, and what might that be?
-All the different ways that I could kill you.
-Maybe you're ready to find out if that hide of yours is bulletproof?
-That's impossible.
-Mrs. Argon? It's Sim.
-Mr. Sim? Do you have him? He's alive?
-Oh yeah, he's alive. Technically.
-And you have him?
-Vermin...
-I spoke to Dr. Argon this morning and he remains frustrated over the loss of the original nanobot.
-I am aware of Dr. Argon's frustrations.
-Under the circumstances, I can't fathom what makes Dr. Argon think we are ready for anything bigger. If C.N.N., or hell, if the E.P.A. knew what was in my basement --
-Is that a threat, Dr. Bright?
-Look, as I have said and will continue to say, the instability of the assembler waste remains my priority --
-If you don't have any questions, I'll let you get back to doing your job.
-I could have you fired right now.
-Icky!
-Okay, Barbie, let's get this over with.
-It might be paranoia, but I've never lost my keycard before.
-If this nutcase did take it and has half a brain, he'd use it right away, before we could invalidate it.
-Yes, that is what I was thinking.
-In fact, would it be safe to say, based on your general knowledge of this character, that he is already in the building?
-What in the hell?
-Oh, Stew and I went for a long ride. Dexter, is there any finishing school we can send him to?
-Yes, it'll be a very interesting experiment.
-To make a gentleman out of a tramp?
-Exactly.
-Now, Anne, you remember how much it cost to get rid of that baseball player?
-Well, what else do you expect them to call you?
-Indeed? How interesting.
-Miss Wilson will give you the guest list and any other details you may need, Miss Gallagher.
-Thank you. I'll go and look for her at once. Goodbye, Mrs. Smith.
-Goodbye, Miss Gallagher.
-I think I better go, Stew.
-Don't mind Mother.
-I'm sure you're quite willing to be decent about this.
-You're not going to print this silly thing, are you?
-You know something, lady, if you sold life insurance, I'd go for a policy in sixty seconds.
-May I use your telephone?
-Certainly. Right over there.
-That's a good idea - telephone the police. The number is Spring 3100. Get a couple of cops over and we can have a rubber of bridge.
-What do you want?
-That's considerate of you.
-Yeah, that was considerate of me. I recommend you read it.
-I'm not interested in your literary recommendations.
-Just listen to this— Adorable Babykins— Does her miss her Baby? Him sends his booful li'l sweetums a billion oceans full of kisses. Bobo is so lonely—!
-Ah! But you don't know who Bobo is. And you don't know who Babykins is.
-Where did you get those letters?
-I suppose you're going to print them?
-Oh, I don't need another guess. It's quite obvious.
-Will you step into the library?
-Will - uh - five thousand be enough?
-For what?
-I don't know how to thank you. Mother'll be so grateful - she'll probably want to kiss you.
-Your mother will want to kiss me? Give me back my letters. That's the breaks I get. It's the mothers that are always grateful to me. Here.
-You're a peculiar person. Why the other day I pleaded with you not to send in that story and —
-won't even pretend it isn't a very great favor. I wish there was something I could do for you—
-Really?
-Yeah, I haven't figured out the plot yet, but it's laid in a Siberian village.
-You're a bit eccentric, aren't you?
-Me? No - most ordinary guy in the world, me. Only one thing wrong with me—
-I'm just beginning to believe that something could be done with you.
-Say, you could do anything with me you wanted to. Putty - just putty, that's me. Now getting back to those eyes of yours - would you mind if I kind of got closer so I could see them?
-Oh, Mother!
-It's all right. It's all right, Anne. I can take a hint. A bit subtle, but I get it. It's all right.
-Hello, Natalie. Mr. Stewart Smith . . . Miss Montgomery, Mrs. Eames, Mrs. Radcliff, Mr. Radcliff—
-Why should I? We're happy, aren't we, darling?
-Throw me out - because I'm beginning to get goofy ideas, and they concern you, Anne.
-None of your ideas can be goofy, Stew, if they concern me.
-My name is Smith - well, that you seem to have been able to stand for the last month. I'm white, male and over twenty-one. I've never been in jail - that is, not often. And I prefer Scotch to Bourbon. I hate carrots, I hate peas, I like black coffee and I hate garters. I make seventy-five bucks a week and I've got
-Now Mother, your attitude is perfectly ridiculous. It's done now. Stewart and I are married.
-A little—? Sure, I'll be right up. He's all right. I like him.
-What's the matter? Something I et, no doubt. Egg marks the spot—
-You ought to get some new ties, Stewart.
-Your place?
-Yeah. Oh, it's great. Of course it doesn't compare with this coliseum of yours here, but 'twill serve m'lady, 'twill serve. The architecture has a little feeling of Missouri Gothic - and the furniture sort of leans toward Oklahoma Renaissance - with a tiny touch of Grand Rapids.
-Don't you think it's silly of us to think of living there when we have this whole big house—
-We could have the whole left wing? Wouldn't that be nice! Would that be room enough for us?
-Oh darling, of course it would. If it isn't - there are six rooms and two baths - but if that isn't enough, Mother will give us the blue room too, I think.
-Oh, Mother will give us the blue room. You haven't a red room, have you? Well, bless her heart. Wouldn't that be nice! My, oh my - six rooms and two baths and a blue room. I guess she would let us have the right wing if we needed it, wouldn't she?
-But we don't need it, I'm sure.
-Look Anne, you're not serious about this, are you?
-Of course I am Stewart.
-You have the cutest nose I've—
-Never mind my nose. What kind of a chump do you think I am? You think I'm going to live here in your house - on your dough? What do you think my friends would all say? Don't be silly. I'd get the razzing of my life for that. 'A bird in a gilded cage' - that's what I'd be. Not me. Oh no,
-What do you think my friends would say if they found me in a little cheap flat?
-It isn't cheap. It's nice.
-Listen Stew baby, let's not talk about things like that now—
-Wait a minute. I'll do anything you ask me, Anne, but I will not live—
-I've got a present. Shut your eyes. Keep 'em closed. I know you're going to love them.
-Do you like them?
-Got my initials on them too. They're cute. They're nice little things - what do you do with them?
-You wear them of course, silly.
-Oh no. No, no. Not me. I haven't worn these things for Years.
-I know that.
-Besides I'd look foolish. I couldn't look Gallagher in the face.
-Darling, I don't care whether you can look Gallagher in the face or not, but you're gonna be a good boy and wear garters.
-Oh, yes you will my dear - oh, yes you will my dear - you'll wear garters and you'll like it too!
-Oh, yes you will my dear - oh, yes you will my dear - you'll eat spinach but you'll wear garters too!
-Oh, you can't carry a tune - you can't carry a tune - all you are good for is to sit and spoon, spoon. Oh no, I won't wear garters—
-Anne, prepare yourself for the treat of your life. This is Gallagher.
-Gallagher!
-Oh, yes, of course. How do you do?
-You know, Stewart, you failed to mention that Miss Gallagher was a very beautiful young girl.
-Yes. As a matter of fact, you failed to mention that Gallagher was a girl.
-Didn't I? That's funny. Isn't it funny?
-No? What do you look upon her as?
-That was kind of a rotten thing to do, Anne. After all, Gallagher is my friend. The least you can do is be courteous to her.
-I thought I was very charming, Stewart.
-Is this true, Stewart? Did you really say it?
-Stewart! We're all waiting for you. Where's your valet?
-I poisoned him.
-I'm not going!
-What are you talking about?
-I'm talking about - I'm not going out.
-What am I going downstairs and tell those people?
-Go downstairs, and tell them - anything. Tell them I'm not going. Tell them I'm not home.
-Stewart, would you mind telling me why you're not going?
-Anne, come here. Listen—
-Look out for my lipstick, Stewart.
-I'll tell you what. Let's you and me sneak out all by ourselves—
-Are you crazy?
-Think of the fun we can have - we'll sneak down the back stairs and get in the valet's Ford. How's that?
-Will you stop being silly, Stewart?
-I'll tell you what let's do - I'll take you and introduce you to all my gang. Would you like that?
-But I don't want to meet your gang.
-I don't mean the newspaper fellows that you don't like. Another gang I know - you'd love them. They're writers and musicians and artists - a great crowd of people - people who do great things. People who are worthwhile.
-Meaning, my friends aren't worthwhile, I suppose?
-Oh, they're all right, Anne. But I—
-Oh hello, Anne– He types furiously.
-Oh, that mob downstairs. I guess I got so interested in the play I forgot all about them.
-I see.
-What's the idea, Anne?
-The idea is simply this - that I want those people to leave here immediately.
-Now wait a minute. Aren't you being a little unreasonable?
-Unreasonable! Have you any idea what the place looks like downstairs? Do you expect me to stand here and see this place turned into a cheap barroom?
-Now wait, don't get excited, Anne. There's no reason for that. Perhaps the boys have had a little too much to drink. That's all right. I'm sorry. I'll go right down and throw them out. That's no reason for you to take this attitude. After all, I certainly have a right to invite a few of my friends to my house, haven't I?
-Your house?
-—and if it's all the same to you, I'm moving out.
-Stewart!
-This is something I should have done a long time ago, only I didn't have sense enough to do it. No, I had to stick around here to try and make a success of something that I knew darn well was a failure from the very beginning. But no more. No more! So that's that.
-You've done nothing but watch me - watch me! - ever since I've been here. Treated me like a thug, watched me like a hawk, mistrusted me. Every time I leave the house, that Jane— —goes out and counts the silverware.
-That's ridiculous.
-Fine! I don't blame her. I know I'm out of my own crowd. I should have had better sense in the beginning. But I'll stay in my own backyard from now on.
-You're acting like a child.
-You should have known better than to write, Romeo. I found that out a long time ago.
-I should say you had. At the rate you two are going, we'll have to leave the country to save our faces.
-Splendid, Mother. Let's hop over to Monte Carlo. It's a great place to save a face.
-That's an excellent idea.
-What is this person doing here?
-It's a good thing your father passed away before he saw insanity ravage the family. I can't imagine what made you do such a thing. A reporter! Of all things, a reporter! A barbarian who lets his socks come down!
-Mother, I promise you that he won't be a reporter much longer. Once I get him away from that atmosphere and get him away from a man named Gallagher—
-Good morning, Mother. Didn't I tell you that he'd be marvelous. Everybody thought he was so charming last night.
-I was so worried for fear he'd knock over a vase or something. I must have acted like an idiot. What does it say about the reception last night?
-Oh, the usual thing. Blah, blah, blah attended the blah, blah reception and wore the same blah, blah things.
-Stop it. Anne. You're behaving like the person you're married to.
-You don't have anything to complain about, Mother. He was all right last night, wasn't he? I told you not to worry about him.
-Ah-ah-ah!
-Mother!
-Why doesn't Dexter show some decency? And you might show some too, Mother. What do you expect a man to do when he's called such names? I'm glad you hit that reporter, Stewart. He deserved it.
-Hello, there, Meadows![13]
-Who is it you wish to see, sir?
-I want to see Stew Smith. Oh excuse me - I mean Mr. Smith.
-Pardon me, Mr. Smith is engaged. We are having a reception here this evening—
-—a beautiful pair of shoulders! But listen now, as a favor, will you please make it snappy, Laughing Waters,[14] and tell Stew Smith I gotta see him because if you don't my whole family's going to die.
-I'll tell Mr. Smith at once, sir. Have a seat.
-What's the matter? Isn't there a 'bless you' in the crowd?
-You're the Tribune man?
-Fine. Have a seat.
-This way.
-Fine newspaper the Tribune.
-Well, I should say!
-I knew your managing editor very well.
-Is that so?
-Yale '21, I believe.
-Huh?
-I got him his job on the paper. I'm a stock-holder, you know.
-Is that so?
-Yeah!
-But right now I'm acting in the capacity of Mrs. Schuyler's attorney.
-Oh, that's all right with me. I won't hold it against you. But you see, I'm here to find out about—
-I know, I know. But there's no truth in the story whatsoever.
-So, you see how silly that rumor is?
-Why, sure. It's a lotta hooey.
-Thank you very much.
-All right, all right, don't mention it.
-Give my regards to your managing editor.
-Say, take it easy! Take it easy! Listen, my boy. No use you hanging around here. Just buy the Tribune tonight and read all about it. You can rewrite it for your last edition.
-Couldn't make the last edition. It'd take me four hours to translate your story into English.
-Oh, is that so?
-Impossible. Put it on again.
-What do you want?
-Oh, nothing. I just blew over - I wanted to see how the old newshound looked made up for a gentleman.
-Would you like to have me turn around for you, Bingy?
-How's that?
-Not bad - not good - but not bad. You ought to be able to fool about almost anybody.
-Is that so? Well, have you seen enough - or would you like a photograph?
-A photograph? What's the matter? Hasn't mama had you done in oils yet? "Just A Gigolo . . . "
-I bring a message from Garcia.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. The boss sent me over to offer you a job. He wants you to write a daily column on the Tribune.
-Yeah - go on.
-It's all right. You can write your own ticket. A hundred and fifty bucks a week.
-I'll bite. What's the catch?
-Is there a green elephant standing beside that bwana?
-Big Chief Bingy come to white man's tepee to make friends. Big Chief very sorry. To show how sorry - will bend over and let white man kick Big Chief where sun never shines.
-Well, Stew, that's all thrashed out. By golly, I'm surely glad to see that you're not really sore. You know our racket - after all, news is news.
-Sure, sure. That's all right. That was a great story, Bingy. A great story - wish I'd printed it.
-I gave you the breaks, didn't I? That hairy chest story!
-Look, I quit!
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Aagh! No wonder you're batty. Would it be imposing too much upon you if I asked you to do a little work today? Just to sort of break the monotony?
-With me you can always do business.
-Do you know what to do in a drawing- room?
-Now listen, we've got a tip that the Schuyler family has finally made a deal with that chorus dame.
-Gloria Golden?
-Yeah, little Gloria.
-The human cash register. Got her hooks into the Schuyler kid, eh?
-Right - for the first time this year.
-Well - it's only April.
-Come on, get going, get going!
-Get going where? I can write that yarn without stepping out of the office.
-Yeah - and get us into a million dollar libel suit. It wouldn't be the first time. Now, you get over there and get a statement out of the old lady, the sister, or the kid. Any of them - but get it.
-All right. Give me a voucher for expenses.
-What expenses? All you need is carfare to Long Island. You'd better get a shave and a shine, because you, you're going to have a tough time getting in there as it is.
-Now listen boss, if you're going to kick about that expense account—
-It has been alleged - yes—
-You wouldn't know news if you fell into a mess of it, nose first. So you're the bright lad that's never been scooped!
-Not on my own beat, no.
-I've heard of people being scooped on their own funerals, but this! Holy mackerel! Why, it's news when Anne Schuyler gets her fingernails manicured, but this! She gets married to one of our own reporters and the Tribune beat us to it! Well! What do you guys want? Go on, get back to your desks. Go back to your work. Now don't tell me
-No, no - it's true, all right, only we didn't want to get it in print yet, that's all.
-Why not?
-Well, you see, I've acquired one of those new mother-in-laws, and we were afraid she wouldn't understand the whole idea. So we were going to wait till she went to Europe.
-What do I care about your mother- in-law! You're still working for this paper, aren't you! Or are you?
-Yes, sir.
-Gallagher and myself just came over here to do a little work on a story -
-Well, when are you quitting?
-—Mr. Schuyler .
-Now get this, Conroy. My name is Smith. Always was Smith - and always gonna be Smith.
-Is that so?
-Just a boid in a gilded cage -
-A what?
-You heard me. A bird in a gilded cage.
-Aw, you've been reading a lot of cheap tabloids. Anne and myself are going to move downtown in a nice little flat, we're gonna forget all about this social stuff, and we're gonna be known as Mr. and Mrs. Stew Smith. How do you like that?
-And live on your salary, I suppose?
-Yeah, live on my salary - that is, until I finish writing my play.
-What play?
-My play.
-The one about the Siberian bloodhound?
-Siberian bloodhound? No. That's been all rewritten. It's laid in Araby now.
-Araby?
-Sure.
-Well, I'm sorry to see a good reporter go blooey— Let me know when you're quitting.
-I'm not quitting!
-No?
-No!
-How do you like your bath, sir?
-Who are you?
-I'm your valet, sir. Dawson is the name, sir.
-You're my what?
-Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll do that for you some time. That's very sweet. Say listen, what did you say your name was?
-Dawson, sir.
-Dawson, huh? Was I very drunk last night?
-Yes. I must have been pretty much plastered if I hired a valet.
-Did you take anything out of those pants?
-Oh no, sir!
-What are you doing fooling around in here?
-Say, you are nice. You're all right. You'd make a good wife.
-Thank you, sir.
-Are you trying to tell me that I need someone to help me put on my pants and button them up?
-Quite so. Quite.
-Now I'm sorry. I appreciate your efforts. But I don't need anybody to help me button my pants - I've been buttoning my pants for thirty years all right, and I can button 'em with one hand as a matter of fact.
-All right, outside!
-I beg your pardon, sir?
-I think I understand, sir. You mean you want me to go?
-That's a canary, sir.
-That's a canary! Who brought that in here? Canary, huh? Go on, get that out of here. Get that out of here!
-Yes, sir. Very good, sir.
-A bird! A bird in a gilded cage! Get that thing out of here!
-Yes.
-I'm Miss Wilson - Mrs. Schuyler's social secretary.
-I was sent from the Post in place of our social editor.
-Yes, of course. Miss Ramsey telephoned me. Well, what would you like to have?
-Why, a list of the guests. That's the usual thing, isn't it?
-That's a lovely dress.
-Thank you. Where is Mr. Smith?
-Mr. Smith? Oh, you mean Ann Schuyler's husband?
-Yes.
-He's probably very tired. You see, he's had to meet all these people personally tonight.
-I bet.
-Stew, your hands are shaking. You've been drinking again.
-The boss is getting hoarse.
-You're sure going to be poison to that Junior Leaguer[4] from now on!
-You what?
-Sure, I must drop in on the mad wench. Her wounds need soothing.
-For heaven's sake, Stew, are you completely bats? What for? I thought the story was cold. You can't go back there.
-And with it came love! Oh Gallagher, you've got to meet her. She's it—
-—and that—
-Well, I've seen her pictures, and I don't think she's so hot.
-Oh, you don't appreciate it. Her pictures don't do her justice. Why, Gallagher, she's queenly - she is queenly - and I know queens! And oh, has she got herself a nose - and I know noses too. That little snozzle of hers is the berries, I tell you. And is she cute when she throws that little snozzle to the high heavens!
-Sure, sure. You've got a nose, Gallagher. You've got a nose. But there's different women, Gallagher. You know, like brewery horses and thoroughbreds.
-On now, Stew, don't be too hard on her. I wouldn't call her a brewery horse.
-Gallagher! She's the real McCoy!
-And the rest of us are truck horses?
-There you go, talking like a woman!
-Well!
-Well, well, well! Gallagher, old pal! There you are. What did you run away for?
-Sure, you ran away. Aren't you going to congratulate a guy?
-Thanks, thanks.
-Oh sure, we'll be happy. What's the matter with your eyes?
-It's the smoke.
-Joe! A little snifter. Say, wasn't I a lucky guy to fall into a girl like that, huh? Look at that! I don't know how I rate that, Gallagher. Gosh, there's a swell girl. I want you to meet her.
-Ah! Thank you, Joe. Tell you what - we'll have one of those parties down at your house - one of those spaghetti parties, you know. Gee, we haven't had one of those in a long time, have we Gallagher?
-Not since you broke into society.
-Do you think your wife would walk up three flights of stairs just to eat out of paper plates?
-Who - Anne? Sure, Anne would love that.
-Remember, she's a Schuyler.
-Now get this, Gallagher - Smith. That's the name.
-My error.
-Well, if she doesn't want to come, I'll come down alone.
-Oh no, you won't, Mr. Smith. You're a married man now. Mother always warned me never to run around with married men.
-Oh, I'll call you up some time. And if your social duties permit - why -
-Don't pay attention to him, Stew. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
-Pay attention? I'm not paying any attention to him. You think that guy could get me upset? Hah! Not that mug. He's a tough mug - hard, cynical. He doesn't know the fine things in life - that guy. A bird in a gilded cage, huh? It's getting so a guy can't step out without being called a magnolia. Stew Smith, a magnolia! Not
-Sure - I think so, Stew.
-I knew you would, pal. A bird in a gilded cage, eh?
-How is her family going to feel about it?
-Mr. Smith, I've read some of your plays and I'd like an autograph.
-Well, well! If it isn't my old friend! Turn around, gal! Let's get a look at you.
-There you are—!
-Well, daughter of the slums - how did you get out of the ghetto?
-I'm pinch-hitting for our society editor tonight. I wanted to see some life in the raw.
-Aw, you wanted to see some life in the raw, huh? Well gal, I'm afraid we ain't got no raw life up here.
-Well, I'll have to look someplace else.
-No, no! Maybe we could interest you in some well done butterflies, or perhaps some slightly fried pansies, or better still, some stuffed shirts. And guaranteed every one of them will give you a good stiff pain in the neck.
-Gee Gallagher, do you look good! What are you doing to yourself?
-Nothing.
-What did you do to that hair? And where did you get that dress?
-I dyed one and washed the other.
-Don't turn around now - but there's a very beautiful girl up there who seems to be staring at us.
-Staring at us?
-My mistake - she's glaring.
-They all consider me just as one of the boys.
-I'm sorry, Gallagher - really, I am sorry.
-Oh, that's all right, Stew. Forget it. As far as she's concerned, I'm just part of the hired help.
-No, no. Strange, I've never seen Anne act that way before. It's funny I never thought to tell her you were a girl, isn't it?
-Well, Gallagher! Glad to see you.
-Hello, Stew.
-I'm sorry, Stew. I asked Hank, and Hank did the rest.
-I see. Hank brought them all. That's all right. We'll give them a drink and throw 'em out. How's that?
-Okay.
-You know what I should do with you? I should sock you right in that funny little nose.
-How far have you gotten?
-Well, you're not getting your play done, but you're certainly covering a lot of territory.
-Stewart, have you ever been to Old Madrid?
-Been where?
-To Old Madrid.
-Never even been to New Madrid.
-Then how do you expect to write about it?
-Oh - draw on my imagination, I suppose.
-Did who?
-Conrad.
-What do you know about Conrad?
-Isn't he the one that always writes about things - only the things he knows about?
-Right.
-Didn't he go to sea before he wrote about it?
-Right.
-Then why don't you write about something you know? Write about yourself and Anne. The poor boy who marries a rich girl - now there's a swell theme.
-Gee, that's an idea, Gallagher. That's an idea there. I wonder now...
-Oh, sure. She'd make a beautiful heroine...
-And there's her mother - and what a character that old dame would make with her double-strength - and that lawyer friend of theirs - he'd make a great villain - and there's you!
-What could I be?
-You could be something. I've got an idea, Gallagher. Let's get this set. That's a great idea for a play. Pal, get me a cigarette, will you?
-Here you are.
-Now Gallagher, if we could only get a great scene - a tremendously emotional scene - something that would just wring the hearts out of the public - to bring the curtain down in the second act - that would be okay. Couldn't dig one out of your hat some place, could you?
-Nope - afraid I'm all out of tricks tonight.
-Now, we've got it right up to where the boy's wearing his white spats and going to teas and the frau enters - how's that?
-I wouldn't worry too much about it, Stew. She'll see it your way.
-Hey, Gallagher!
-Yeah?
-How about my breakfast? How do you expect me to ring a curtain down on an empty stomach?
-It'll be ready in a minute.
-Never mind that. If you can't get my breakfast ready - and can't get here on time in the morning - then you can go get yourself another job.
-Sorry, boss—
-Who was that?
-Grayson - Anne's lawyer.
-What did he want?
-It's a swell idea, Gallagher. How's this? The wife's family lawyer comes to see the kid, see - to talk over the divorce. Then this guy insults the poor but honest boy by offering him alimony - so the kid gets sore, socks the lawyer in the nose and throws him out. How's that for the beginning of the third act, huh?
-What other girl—?
-The little O'Brien girl, of course - the one you suggested in the story.
-But that's ridiculous! You can't make a sudden change like that.
-Gallagher, what are you going to do - tell me how to write a play?
-No.
-Nice set of Conrads you have out there, Mrs. Schuyler. I was just glancing through this one. What's Michael tearing the paper about?
-Just a habit. Mr. Schuyler is a bit put out by all the rumors going around.
-Rumors? Rumors? Since when is a breach-of-promise case a rumor?
-No breach-of-promise case has been filed. The matter has been settled out of court.
-Well, well. That takes it out of the rumor class, doesn't it?
-A statement? Good.
-I have it here.
-The man from the Tribune seemed perfectly satisfied.
-I think you'd better go.
-I've tried to stop the evening papers, but it's useless.
-You quit trying to stop anybody—
-Well, at best you might deny it.
-Why deny it? The more you deny, the more they print. Let them alone! The thing to do is to sit still and keep our traps shut.
-Traps shut!
-Hello, Smith.
-Holy jumping swordfish!
-I suppose you know why I came—?
-No, I have no idea - unless some of the silver-ware is missing.
-Now don't be absurd, Smith— May I come in?
-Surely, come right in.
-Thanks. May I sit down?
-Surely, sit down. If I had known you were coming, I would have thrown you up a waffle.
-I don't eat waffles.
-Anne asked me to come and see you about the divorce.
-She did—?
-She wants me to arrange the financial settlement.
-Listen Grayson, I've got 106 bucks and 75 cents in the bank. Now Anne can have any part of that she wants, but she'd better hurry because I'm spending it awfully fast.
-Wait a minute. Do I get from you that she wants to pay me alimony?
-Remember what I told you about that twentieth crack? All right, you've just made it. Before you go unconscious I want you to get this through your nut.
-I beg your pardon.
-We just thought that—
-Yes.
-Fine, but kinda thirsty.
-Come right in - I'll get you a drink.
-Okay - you remember Joe—
-Sure.
-I sort of invited him along to bend an elbow. You don't mind, do you?
-Come in, Joe. It's all right.
-I'm sorry nobody could come.
-The rest of the gang had to get out the morning edition - but they'll be down later.
-What is it, Smythe?
-Oh, Smythe, some bicarbonate of soda, quick - double strength. I know those news mongrels[3] will upset me.
-Some bicarbonate - quick!
-Double-strength!
-Pardon me, madam. They phoned through from the Mayor's committee to remind you it's past the hour for the reception.
-Are the cars ready?
-Smythe, you've been drinking.
-Dexter Grayson, you told me it was only ten thousand—and you didn't even get those letters from that Jezebel!
-As a matter of fact, I was just trying to decide the color of Anne's eyes. I can't tell whether they're blue, or whether they're violet. What would you say, Mrs. Schuyler?
-Indeed? Perhaps he will do me a great favor.
-With pleasure, Madame!
-Nobody seems to want to do anything— Why not ask me? Perhaps I can offer a suggestion. Do what about what?
-About what? Your marriage to Anne!
-Stop calling me Mother!
-All right, Grandma—
-Good morning, everybody— Well, maybe it isn't a good morning, huh? Anne, did you ever get the feeling that there was someone else in the room with you?
-Have you seen this?
-Yes - the worm!
-I beg your pardon?
-He's a worm - and I'm gonna step on him!
-And you struck him right here in our house—?
-That's the fourteenth crack you've made to me. I'm keeping count. When you get to twenty, I'm gonna sock you right on the nose. As a matter of fact, I ought to sock you right now.
-What's going on here? Who is this woman?
-Joan of Arc! What's it to you?
-Heavens! The man's insane!
-There are no gentlemen on the Tribune.
-Now, now Jeeves.[5] Was that nice? Was that being a gentleman, Jeeves? Was it, Jeeves? Your name is Jeeves, isn't it?
-The name is Smythe.
-Smythe! Well, well, well! With a Y , huh? Congratulations! What a small world. Brothers under livery. Shake! Now, as a Smith to a Smythe—
-Mrs. Schuyler is not at home.
-But I—
-Well done, sir. Very neat.
-Smythe, the - er - gentleman is leaving.
-Did you call, sir?
-Shhh! Do you hear something?
-Yes, sir.
-You try it.
-Me, sir?
-No, that's enough. I just wanted you to get the idea. Now you know. This house is haunted.
-No, sir!
-Yes. Have you looked in the closets all over . . .?
-Yes, sir.
-Found no skeletons?
-No, sir.
-It's haunted just the same.
-Smythe, what do you do with yourself - I mean, when you're not carrying those double-strength - what do you do with yourself?
-Well, sir, I putter.
-Smythe! I mean - when you're alone and want to amuse yourself, then what?
-I just putter.
-Hmmm, you just putter. Do you have to have a putter to putter?
-Oh no, sir. I putter with me hands.
-Well, isn't that nice? You just go right ahead and putter with your hands. That's all right. How do you do it?
-That's puttering, sir.
-No! Well, well, well! That's all right, if you like it. Can anybody do that?
-Oh no, sir. Some people are natural putterers. Others can never master it.
-Oh my. You mean, some people are born and never will become putterers?
-Yes sir.
-Oh my, wouldn't that be tragic? To know that you could never be a putterer.
-Yes sir.
-How about me? Do you think if I concentrated and put my whole soul into it, that some day I might be a putterer?
-You sir? Uh-uh. You could never be a putterer. Not a good putterer, sir.
-Well, if I couldn't be a good putterer, I wouldn't want to putter. But why? What makes you think I couldn't be a good putterer?
-Well sir, to be a putterer, one's mind must be at ease. A person with a problem could never be a putterer. For instance, sir, a fish can putter in water but not on land because he'd be out of place. An eagle can putter around a rugged mountaintop but not in a cage, because he'd be restless and unhappy. Now sir, if you
-A bird in a gilded cage?
-Yes.
-Smythe, I'll get this. I'm expecting some friends.
-It isn't done, gentlemen! It isn't done, I say! It isn't done!
-I just love you in that sweater Mary-Sue. It's so flattering.
-I put blueberries in them just the way you like.
-Actually--I'm not real ... hungry.
-Mary Sue?
-Can I ask you a question?
-What goes on up at Lover's Lane?
-What do you mean?
-Well, you hear all these things lately. You know--kids spending so much time up there ... Is it holding hands? That kind of thing?
-What?
-It doesn't matter.
-No. I want to know.
-... Sex.
-You sure you want to know this?
-Yes.
-Yes ... It's just that ...
-What?
-Bud. Mary Sue ... Breakfast is on the table.
-Bu-ud ... Mary Sue ... Your breakfast is getting cold.
-Why no. She's still on her date with Biff ... is something the matter?
-Oh no ... I'm fine.
-How 'bout some Marshmallow Rice Squares?
-It's okay. It's alright.
-Have you got any make up?
-Does it look okay?
-Looks just like it did.
-And they won't be able to tell?
-Wait.
-Thank you.
-I made you these for the trip. They're marshmallow rice squares.
-Thanks. I thought you weren't gonna ...
-There's a meatloaf sandwich in there too. Don't go skipping dinner just 'cause you're not here anymore.
-I won't.
-And ... wear this on the trip in case it gets cold.
-I'm so proud of you, Bud.
-Thanks ... I love you.
-Oh, hello Betty.
-Oh, hi ...
-I'm sorry ...
-I just thought ... It's beautiful.
-Having kind of a tough time.
-I think it looks nice.
-Where'd you get this?
-Bud brought it to me.
-Bud?
-Isn't it great how she's resting like that?
-What?
-She's crying.
-No she's not.
-Wait ...
-I've got to go ...
-It's alright. Let me see.
-What is that?
-You can't go out there.
-But I really should get home.
-Sounds nice ... Once you get used to it.
-Like a drum.
-How was your day?
-Oh, swell. You know, Mr. Connel said that if things keep going the way they are, I might be seeing that promotion sooner than I thought.
-Bud, your sister's a little older now and she's naturally going to start going out with boys. ... In fact pretty soon--she's even going to get married and make someone a good little home-maker like your mother here. That's IF she can learn to bake.
-Oh, George ...
-I told you where I was.
-All night?
-I got caught in the storm. You were gone all night too.
-Look. Let's just forget about it. Let's just go to the meeting and ...
-I told you, George. I'm not going.
-Sure you are.
-Look at me George. That meeting's not for me. Look at my face.
-It's fine. You'll put on some make up and ...
-It goes away ... It'll go away.
-Okay--now you listen to me ... You're gonna come to this meeting and you're gonna put on this make up, and you're gonna come home at six o'clock every night and have dinner ready on this table.
-I made a couple of lunches for you and put them in brown paper bags ... I'm gonna go now.
-Where are you gonna go?
-What's all the commotion? Where's the cat?
-I sure am glad you said you'd come out with me tonight Mary Sue.
-I don't know if I ever said this to you before, but, well ... I think you're just about the keenest girl in the whole school ...
-Really Biff? The keenest?
-Oh yeah.
-... And you always seemed so smart and everything. Like that report you did on "Our Town Hall." Gosh. I didn't know what I'd talk to you about.
-Well, sometimes talking's over-rated. Don't you think?
-So I know I haven't been steady with anybody, but I just don't want to rush it. You don't want to make a mistake with something that important.
-Oh, gosh no.
-I mean, there's kids that are even holding hands already but I figure there's plenty of time for that kind of thing later on. Don't you?
-Anyhow ... I really wanted to come over and sit next to you in civics but ...
-You want to get out of here?
-What?
-You wanna get out of here? You wanna leave?
-But where would we go?
-... Lover's Lane.
-Sure is pretty.
-Oh yeah ... Gorgeous.
-To be honest Mary Sue. I didn't think you'd want to come here until we'd been pinned for a little while.
-... Why?
-It's s'posed to happen, Biff.
-It is?
-Mary Sue--C'mon ...
-What are you doing?
-It's six-thirty ...
-So.
-Oh. I can't.
-I'm busy.
-Don't! Just let go.
-It's better, Mary Sue.
-Oh God! Are we in that episode?
-What?
-I don't believe it.
-What's the matter?
-You want to ask her out tonight, right? And then you want to give her your school pin ...
-Yeah ... How'd you know?
-What I mean is ... Mary Sue's been a little "different" lately ...
-She won't go out with me?
-I didn't say that. It's just that right now ...
-What'll it be?
-Maybe you can't even describe it. Maybe you only know it when it's gone. Maybe it's like there's a whole piece of you that's missing too. You might even call it "love."
-Okay, that's IT!!!
-C'mon. Everyone's turning colors. Kids are making out in the street. No one's getting their dinner-- hell, you could have a flood any minute ... Pretty soon you could have the women going off to work while the men stayed home and cooked ...
-That's not going to happen!
-But it could happen.
-Want some bridge mix?
-Oh, no thanks ...
-Betty's making some pineapple kabobs ...
-I'm sure you've noticed the same things we all have--certain "changes" going on in the town. You know what I mean by "changes"?
-"Changes."
-"Changes." And it's not just the fire or big stuff like that. It's little things. Did you hear about Bill Miller?
-No. What?
-Wife wants him to get one of those new beds.
-Oh my gosh. What's he gonna to do?
-I really don't know. Ben Miller's son just quit his job as a boxboy at the market.
-No. They do. And it isn't just 'cause you're a great bowler ... They respect you ...
-Thank you very much.
-And it's important for them to see someone they respect, stand up for what's right. If you love a place, you can't sit around and watch this kind of thing happen to it.
-No. Of course not.
-And that's why I want you to be on the Pleasantville Chamber of Commerce.
-Oh my Gosh. I hardly know what to say.
-Why don't you start by saying "yes," and then getting me one of those swell pineapple kabobs.
-Are you alright? What is it?
-Rain.
-What happened?
-Did you do this?
-Do you know that it's illegal?
-BUD--WHY DID YOU DO THIS?
-You're not allowed to do this! I could arrest you for this.
-Bud Parker and William Johnson, you have been charged with desecration of a public building and the intentional use of prohibited paint colors in violation of the Pleasantville Code of Conduct and laws of common decency. Do you admit that on the night of May 1, you did consciously and willfully apply the following FORBIDDEN colors to the Pleasantville Town Hall: Red, Pink, Vermillion,
-Um ... Yes I do. Where's our lawyer?
-Do you further admit that this was done surreptitiously and under the cover of darkness?
-Well--it was dark out ...
-Good. Do you further admit that this unnatural depiction occurred in full public view where it was accessible to, and in plain sight of, minor children?
-It was accessible to everyone.
-I think I've got something to say.
-It's like the basketball team.
-The basketball team?
-See, I know you want it to stay "Pleasant" but there are so many things that are so much better: like Silly ... or Sexy ... or Dangerous ... or Wild ... or Brief ... And every one of those things is in you all the time if you just have the guts to look for them. Look at those faces back there. They're
-Okay--that's enough!
-I thought I was allowed to defend myself.
-You're not allowed to lie.
-YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!
-Why am I out of order?
-BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TURN THIS COURTROOM INTO A CIRCUS!
-THIS BEHAVIOR WILL STOP AT ONCE.
-But see that's just the point. It can't stop at once. Because it's in you. And you can't stop something that's in you.
-It's not in ME.
-Oh sure it is.
-Dan! Arrest them!
-Um ... I don't know how to do that, Bob.
-What do you mean!?
-Well, I never had to do it before.
-You put handcuffs on them and you take them to the police station.
-How'd you know about the fire?
-What?
-And where's that?
-What's outside of Pleasantville?
-Look it doesn't matter. It's not important.
-"It was big 'n brown 'n kept goin' an' goin' as far you could see."
-Hello Bud.
-Hello Mr. Simpson.
-Hear your Dad got a new car.
-Mr. Simpson ...
-Yes.
-What color is that hedge of yours?
-Green.
-No, not that hedge. The other one.
-The other one?
-What are you doing?
-David, cut it out. Mark Davis is gonna like be here in five minutes.
-Well great. The Pleasantville Marathon starts at six thirty.
-Pleasantville Marathon?
-Yeah. Every episode ever.
-Omigod, I don't be-lieeeeve this! He's gonna like beeeee here!
-Weil great. You can watch TV upstairs.
-Oh my God ... Oh my God ...
-David, stop stressing, you can like-- turn it on normally ...
-Lemme see that.
-Do you mind. This is like the most important moment of my whole life.
-God, David. Just give it to me!
-Get lost!
-Oh my God.
-What happened?
-What did you do?
-I don't know.
-Noooooo!
-Oh God.
-What's going to happen?
-I don't believe this.
-I'm gonna hurl, David. I swear to God.
-Just take deep breaths.
-I still don't see why we're doing this.
-We're supposed to be in school.
-You know him?
-Owns the hardware store.
-Okay, now you listen to me! I don't know what's going on but you'd better fix it! I had a date with Mark Davis and I even bought new UNDERWEAR!
-We just gotta play along for a little while ... till that guy shows up again. Then I'll talk to him and ...
-Play along?
-Well, yeah. I'm ... Bud Parker and you're ... um--Mary Sue.
-No! I'm not gonna do it! If I don't dress like this for Mom I'm sure as hell not going to do it for you!
-We don't have a choice Jen. We're stuck until he comes back.
-Why can't we just EXPLAIN IT?
-Who's that?
-Biff Martin. Captain of the basketball team.
-Does he--you know--like "me"?
-As a matter of fact he does.
-Those are my friends.
-Peggy Jane, Lisa Anne and Betty Jean.
-Can we do any better?
-No way.
-One date, Jen--that's all I'm asking. If you don't go out with this guy we could throw their whole universe out of whack.
-It's too weird David. This place is giving me the creeps. Did you know all the books are blank?
-What?
-I looked in the library. They got covers with nothing inside them.
-What were you doing in a library?
-JENNIFER!
-Jen, listen ...
-I like--really need a cigarette, too.
-I could like kill a guy with these things.
-It's in your closet.
-I've worn some kinky stuff before ...
-He won't notice anyway.
-What do you mean?
-They don't notice that kind of thing.
-So what's the point?
-Jen please ...
-He-llo? I've got like three pounds of underwire here ...
-Couple of cheeseburgers and two cherry cokes. If you need anything, I'll be right over there.
-What did you do to him?
-You can't do this, Jennifer. I WARNED you.
-So what's the big deal. Oh. Okay. They're like not good at basketball anymore. Like--omigod, what a tragedy.
-You don't understand. You're messing with their UNIVERSE.
-You have no right to do this.
-Well if I don't who will?
-They're happy like this.
-I mean, you don't think it's just like dorky or funny or something ... you really like it. Oh God! I am just so personally horrified right now ...
-I just don't think we have the right to ...
-David, let me tell you something. These people don't want to be geeks. They want to be "attractive." They've got a lot of potential, they just don't know any better.
-They don't have that kind of potential.
-Me too. Sounds swell.
-I had nothing to do with that fire.
-It's okay.
-Not directly anyhow ...
-Um ... They like wanna ask you a question ... I didn't know how to handle it. So ...
-Okay look, this like--wasn't my fault. They asked me what it was about and I like didn't remember 'cause we had it back in tenth grade, But I told them what I DID remember, and the next thing I knew the pages had filled in.
-The pages filled in?
-What's wrong?
-Nothing.
-You're reading?
-D.H. Lawrence. You ever heard of him?
-... Yeah.
-Seemed kinda sexy. Look. I read 35 pages.
-So what is it?
-Well ... I just ... Can I ask you a question?
-Sure.
-Remember when you told me that Lisa Rosenberg liked me?
-Yeah ...
-Well--did she really like me or were you just making that up.
-No. She really liked you.
-You weren't playing a joke? She woulda gone out with me?
-Gone out with you. She woulda like rearranged your tonsils.
-Can I ask you a question?
-Yes.
-How come I'm still in black and white?
-What?
-Well I've had like ten times as much sex as these girls and I'm still like this. They have one hour in the back of a car and suddenly they're in technicolor.
-Oh, I don't know. Maybe ... ... it's not just the sex ...
-Are you sure?
-I told you. I'm like positive.
-This thing works. We could go home right now.
-Besides. You think there's like a chance I'm gonna get into college back there?
-You got the admissions letter.
-Right here.
-And you're sure about this?
-That was sure swell ...
-Oh. Thanks, Margaret.
-I baked you my oatmeal cookies.
-Oh, no ... You baked those for Whitey.
-No. I baked them for you.
-No. You baked them for Whitey.
-Keeps going ...
-Hi.
-Oh ... Hi.
-Sure ... Where would we go?
-Um ... You gotta turn off Main Street.
-Mmmmgh.
-Do they have those ... Where you come from?
-Yeah ... I guess. I don't know.
-So what's it like?
-What?
-How?
-Well it's louder ... And scarier I guess ... And ... and a lot more dangerous ...
-Do they have an Ocean? I've heard about the ocean.
-Yeah.
-What's that like?
-Well it's big. And it's blue ... ... It's really really blue.
-You want some berries?
-I picked them myself. They grow wild up here. Mmm. So sweet.
-They just grow like that?
-What's going on?
-Rain.
-Real rain?
-What do we do?
-It's beautiful. Where'd you get it?
-Can I open it?
-Where are they?
-You're gonna forget about me.
-I like calling you David.
-Okay, whose window did Bud break when he was playing with his father's golf clubs?
-Salesman. What did Bud and Mary Sue name the cat they found in the gutter?
-Scout?
-You're unbelievable. You'll win this thing for sure. When is it on?
-Marathon starts at 6:30. Contest's tomorrow at noon.
-A thousand dollars ... And it's on all night?
-Holy cow. Look at that. Had a little disaster didn't ya fella.
-Yeah ... Sort of ...
-I know how I'd feel if mine went out. Almost like losing a friend.
-You know, we didn't call any TV repair.
-... Her father.
-Right. And how did she dress him?
-... Like Prince Charming.
-Yeah ...
-What department store did they go to?
-McIntire's.
-McGinty's.
-No. McIntire's. Remember: "For the very best in men's attire, Head right down to McIntire's."
-Say--why don't you take this remote instead. It's got a little more "Ooomph" in it.
-Ooomph?
-How much does it cost?
-... See, every time I thought I'd found someone they'd turn out to disappoint me. They'd know the early episodes, but they wouldn't know the later ones ... They'd know all about Muffin but they wouldn't know about Bud ...
-What the hell's going on!
-Why would I do that?
-Because we don't belong!
-Oh sure you do ... "McIntire's Department store" ... "Their father dressed as Prince Charming." That was gorgeous Bud.
-Look--we appreciate it. We really do. We just--we want to go home now.
-Don't get upset.
-Weil wouldn't you! You look for someone for years ... You pour your heart into it ... This is a privilege you know. I don't think I better talk about this right now.
-Where are you going ...
-I don't think we should discuss this until I'm a little bit more composed.
-WAIT A MINUTE!!
-Maybe in a day or so when I'm not so emotional ...
-Hello there.
-... Hi.
-So even though I can't make any promises, well--I figured if you asked me real nice--I might just be willing to talk about it again.
-I can't.
-What?
-Bud--I thought you wanted to come home.
-Oh ... I do. Yeah. It's just that I told my "dad" I'd clean out the rain gutters and Mr. Johnson wanted me to ... to change the tape in the register ...
-I'll be honest with you Bud. I'm getting sorta concerned about what I'm seeing in some of these re-runs ...
-Re-runs?
-Like when Margaret Henderson makes her cookies for Whitey. ... Those aren't your cookies Bud.
-Oh, I know they're not. But I mean-- they're just "cookies" after all ...
-Excuse me?
-Well they're not just cookies. I mean, they're great cookies ... Look, I'd love to get into this whole thing but I'm really running late. Why don't we hook up tomorrow?
-BUD.
-I want a word with you ...
-Oh--well ...
-What do you mean?
-What do I MEAN! You think this is a toy? You think it's your own little goddamn coloring book ...
-Look--it just sort of "happened" ...
-A deluge doesn't just "happen." Bolts of lightning don't just "happen" ... You burned down an ELM tree for Christ's sake ...
-I had nothing to do with that.
-Oh. I'm sorry--refresh my memory. What episode does the orgy happen in, again?
-Look ...
-It was a gift Bud. It was so special. You liked these things as much as I did, remember: Warm smells in the family kitchen? A smile from a stranger? You know how rare that is?
-OKAY. NOW YOU'RE REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!
-I didn't do anything wrong.
-Where's the remote control I gave you?
-Why?
-Because you're coming home. I'm gonna put this place back the way it was.
-No you're not.
-EXCUSE ME?
-I'm sorry ... I can't let you do that.
-OW!
-I'm going to leave now.
-Hope you're proud of yourself.
-Okay, let's cut the shit and get right to it. Where's that remote control?
-Why?
-Because you're coming home.
-Why don't you just take me back without it?
-So ... I guess as long as I'm here, all sorts of things could happen to this place. We could have pink lawns and blue trees ...
-Just gimme the damn remote!
-I don't know what went wrong. You answered every question. You knew every detail. The senior Prom ... McIntire's Department Store. We had all the same warm memories: Sock hops. The Church Social ...
-How long do you think you've been here?
-I don't know ... Three, four weeks.
-Now Buddy, you're going on trial tomorrow. And if they find you guilty, you're gonna be stuck here forever. Well, not forever--lemme think ... Five year sentence ... Carry the three ... That comes out to ... sixteen and a half centuries, and that's rounding down.
-I'm going on trial tomorrow?
-There's worse places.
-Bud?
-Sorry ... I had to help my folks and then I couldn't find my hat ...
-What's wrong?
-Well--I always wipe down the counter and then you set out the napkins and glasses and then I make the french fries ...
-Yeah ...
-You know, if this ever happens again, you can make the fries even if I haven't put out the napkins yet.
-I'm so glad you're here.
-There aren't any cheeseburgers.
-What?
-Well, usually I put out the burger and then you finish with the lettuce ...
-Do you have the lettuce?
-... Yeah.
-Have you cooked the burgers?
-Yes.
-Oh hi!
-Hi there. You took off so quick. I wasn't sure if you were okay.
-Bud ...
-Yeah ...
-You know how when we close up, I close the register, then you lower the shades, then I turn out the lights, then we both lock the doors.
-Yeah ...
-Two cheeseburgers, two cherry cokes.
-There aren't any cheeseburgers.
-Look. I thought we talked about this, I thought we said ...
-Well ... I'm not sure I see the point anymore.
-What are you talking about! You make hamburgers! That is the point!
-No I know ... I know I do ... But it's always the same, you know? Grill the bun, flip the meat, melt the cheese ... It never changes. It never gets any better or worse ...
-Just listen to me ...
-... Like the other night, when I closed up by myself. That was different ...
-Forget about that!
-Look, you can't always like what you do. Sometimes you just do it because it's your job. And even if you don't like it, you just gotta do it anyway.
-Why?
-You know what I really like?
-... What's that?
-Wow ... That's pretty good ...
-Well don't you?
-I think you should try not to think about this anymore.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-Oh, hi.
-Hi.
-Aren't you a little early?
-It's an art book.
-Oh my Gosh, Bud ...
-What's wrong?
-I'll never be able to do that.
-Oh, well--you're just starting out. I mean, you can't do it ...
-It's okay. We'll get you a new one.
-Well how do you know it won't go back to the way it was?
-It's beautiful.
-TV repair.
-TV repair?
-Yeah. TV busted?
-Yeah ...
-You think you could do this like soon? It's almost six thirty.
-Gosh, I loved that show. Watched it for years.
-That's not the reason. I've got a date at six thirty.
-Um--hello? I've got like a social emergency here.
-Free?
-Told you it was your lucky day. Bet you thought I was just a fan or something.
-What happened?
-Dream come true, hunh?
-This isn't funny! I happen to have a very important date in like five minutes!
-Oh GOD ...
-Hey.
-Saw you at the mall yesterday.
-So you watching Pearl Jam on MTV tonight?
-So uh ... Maybe we could uh ...
-Cool.
-This is Barry.
-Hey it's me, what are you doing?
-Hello, Karen. I'm just working.
-Yeah but what are you doing?
-I'm just working....I have some customers here.....
-So you can't talk to me?
-I have a few people here, I can't really chat right now.
-"chat?" Did you just say "chat?"
-Well, I can't talk though --
-You just fucking said "chat," that is so -- what are you now? "chat." I'm just calling to make sure you show up at this party tonight.
-Yes, I'll be there.
-Fine. You get back to chatting with your precious customers.
-Did you think that we'd all be looking at you?
-No, no, no.
-...yes I'm still on hold...
-And what was this?
-I'm looking at your advertisement for the airline promotion and giveaway?
-This is "Fly With Us?"
-It's hard to understand because it says in addition to but I can't exactly understand in addition to what because there's actually nothing to add it too...
-I think that's a type-o then, that would be a mistake.
-So, just to clarify, I'm sorry: Ten purchases of any of your Healthy Choice products equals five hundred miles and then with the coupon the same purchases would value one thousand miles --
-That's it.
-Do you realize that the monetary value of this promotion and the prize is potentially worth more than the purchases?
-It's extension 215 if you want to try me back.
-What city?
-Somewhere in Utah.
-What's the listing?
-Hey, how are you? BARRY I'm fine, hi, how are you?
-I'm just stopping by to say hello.
-Hello.
-So you're coming tonight, right?
-Yes, indeed, yes I am.
-There's this girl, this friend of mine from work that I think is really cute and really cool and I want you to meet her so I was thinking about bringing her to the party tonight.
-Oh yeah no I don't want to do that.
-Why?
-Well I don't want to do something like that.
-She's my friend and you should meet her. You'd like her.
-Yeah, but please don't do that.
-I'm not really asking you, I'm telling you.
-Yeah but please don't do that: everyone would be looking at me.
-It's a free country, we can look at you if we want to.
-Yes but I get tense and I feel like I can't be myself if that happens.
-That's your fault not mine.
-I don't think I'm going to the party.
-So it's ok if I bring her.
-Please don't.
-She's really cute and she's really nice.
-...please, I just don't want it....
-....wait a minute: why is this about you now? Why is it always about you?
-Yeah, no, it's not, it's just --
-I'm trying to be your friend.
-I know.
-I'm trying to get you a girlfriend.
-Well, yeah, thank you, but --
-Hey....I was just telling everyone about how I was gonna bring this girl for you but you wouldn't let me do it.
-You just said very food.
-You're lucky. She couldn't come anyway --
-Well I'm glad you didn't, thank you.
-She couldn't come I said. Are you nervous?
-No.
-You look nervous.
-Hey, what are you doing? Why are you wearing a suit again?
-This is Lena, she's a good friend of mine from work. We were in the neighborhood and she had to pick up her car and we're getting breakfast before we go in, so did you want to go? We're gonna go and eat, let's go.
-Yeah I can't.
-Why?
-I have work, I can't leave.
-Seriously, though: We're going to eat, I said.
-Hey, hey, you should ask her out -- what do you think, she's cute, right?
-It's not cool?
-It's fine, but --
--- do you think you'll ask her out?
-I feel really on the spot now.
-Are you gonna do it?
-I don't do that. I don't - things like that.
-You don't do anything, why are you being scared?
-I'm not being scared, you're just going to rag me if I do this --
-I'm not gonna rag you. Why would I do this just to rag you?
-I don't know.
-I'll leave then, I'll go to get something from my car, go away so you don't feel pressure. Can I ask you a serious question:
-What?
-Did you ask Walter to get you a shrink? Barry, did you ask Walter to get you a shrink? What's wrong with you? Are you ok?
-I didn't ask him that. He's lying.
-Yeah I can't.
-What's all this pudding?
-It's not mine.
-Why's it here?
-Goodbye.
-Hey. What are you doing?
-What about her? You didn't ask her out, you're such a pussy --
-....she didn't, I didn't ask her out?
-You're so scared.
-Do you know where she's staying in Hawaii?
-Oh My God, yeah, I know exactly where she is, why?
-......she forgot her purse at my work and I wanted to get it back to her.
-No she didn't; that's a lie.
-I....please don't do this.
-What? Tell me why you wanna know --
-I just want to know where she's staying.
-Tell me why.
-There is no reason for you to treat me like you do -- you're killing me, you are killing me with the way that you are towards me --
--- what are you talking about, come on --
-Hello, this is Back.
-Hi, is this Jack?
-Yes.
-This is Georgia.
-Hi. This is Jack.
-So what are you doing tonight, Jack?
-Nothing.
-Nothing, huh, do you know what I'm doing?
-No.
-I'm just laying on my bed.
-Where are you?
-I'm in my bedroom.
-No, I mean, what city, what state are you in?
-Are you watching a porno movie?
-No.
-Do you like porno movies?
-Sure.
-....no....
-Yeah? So what are you doing, then?
-...just talking to you....
-Are your pants off?
-No.
-I'm wearing a t-shirt and panties.
-Really?
-Yeah. And looking at myself in the mirror. Do you wanna know what I look like?
-It doesn't matter.
-What do you mean it doesn't matter?
-Well. I have no way of knowing. So it doesn't matter.
-I don't lie, Jack. I'm about 5'8, blonde 34,28,34. Pretty thin, I work out. My pussy's shaved. My friends say I'm pretty cute, so....
-Really?
-What do you mean, "really?" Yeah. Really. What about you?
-It doesn't matter.
-Yeah....you're married aren't you, Jack?
-No.
-You have a girlfriend?
-...yes...
-Where is she?
-I'm horny, Jack, what about you?
-...yeah.....
-Does Jack like to Jack Off?
-Sometimes when I'm lonely.
-...yeah....well you have me now.
-You sound very cute, very nice.
-Thank you. What do you do, Barry?
-I have my own business....I work. I work hard at doing my business.
-Yeah....do you do well, do you make alotta money?
-I do pretty good, I think. I wish I was making more, doing a little bit better. I can,t get over a certain hump. I will...I will crack something soon I think and really do better...I'd like to diversify...but I'm doing great, I think, as a start.
-So.....are you stroking it, yet, honey?
-No.
-Well why don't you take your pants off and stroke it for me?
-Hello?
-Hey. What are you doing? How are you?
-I'm fine. Who is this?
-Georgia.
-Hi....what....what's up....?
-It's ok that I'm calling, right, I mean? It's ok.
-Yeah. No. It's ok. What's goin' on?
-I just wanted to call and talk to you, thank you for last night, try and get you before you went to work and say, "hey."
-I'm going to work.
-Uhhh...I am sooo tired...I stayed up too late last night, what about you, when did you go to sleep?
-Not very late.
-You're going to work now?
-Yes.
-Can I ask you a question?
-Uh-huh.
-Remember last night I was talking to you and I was telling you about my apartment, my rent -- ? Do you remember?
-Yes.
-This is really weird and really embarrassing for me but....uh.... I was wondering if you could help me out with a little bit of money.
-Me?
-Yeah.
-I can't really. Yeah, no. I mean. I can't afford it.
-You don't even know how much it is.
-I know but I....how much is it?
-Like seven-fifty. Seven hundred fifty?
-Yes, no, yes. I can't. I can't afford that. I'm sorry. Sorry.
-Really? Please?
-You have trouble, financial trouble?
-Yeah. It's so hard these days and I really need it.
-Yes I can't....I don't make enough money to be able to do that.
-So you think you can?
-No. I'm sorry.
-Should I call back and talk to your girlfriend?
-....what....?
-Hello?
-We got disconnected before....
-No. No. We got disconnect -- why?.....you're calling me at work....how did you get this number -- ?
-See the thing is I could make it really easy on you -- I already have your credit card number, your information, address and stuff. This is so awkward asking like this, I'm sorry --
-This makes me very uncomfortable.
-I need help.
-Should I just ask your girlfriend? Maybe I should call back and talk to your girlfriend?
-I don't have a girlfriend --
--- you said you did.
-I know I did. But I don't.
-You lied to me?
-I didn't lie.
-Why did you tell me you did, then?
-This is....illegal....I'll call the police.
-Come on, I thought we had fun, rich boy --
-This is not cool.
-It was cool last night.
-I have to go.
-Are you telling me no?
-No I'm sorry, now I have to get off the phone....
-...MOTHERFUCKER, NO....
-Hello?
-Hi. Do you work at the mechanic?
-No.
-They're not open yet?
-Is it ok if I leave my car you think?
-I don't know.
-I thought they opened at seven. If I left my car would it be ok?
-I don't know.
-Do you know them.
-Not very well.
-Can I ask you, can I trust to leave my keys with you and give them to you so that when they get here you could give them to them? BARRY Ok.
-You think it's ok where I left it, right there?
-There's a piano in the street.
-Yeah.
-Ok. Maybe I'll see you later. Thank you for your help.
-Thank you.
-Maybe I'll see you later, when I pick up my car?
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Do you remember me, I left my car, yesterday.
-I'm sorry I couldn't come to your sister's birthday party last night, Elizabeth had invited me and I couldn't make it --
-It's fine. It was fun, though.
-It must be weird for you to have so many sisters?
-Business is good, you're busy?
-Yeah, not really.
-I saw a picture of you.
-Yes. LENA Elizabeth has a picture of you guys -- your sisters and you, it's a lot of family, it must be nice.
-Do you have brothers or sisters?
-No. I'm the exact opposite --
-That must be nice. That must be really, really, really great.
-What do you do with all this pudding?
-Oh My God.
-Six months, maybe five, five or six months...do you wanna check that?
-That's great -- Hawaii. I was thinking about going there.
-Really?
-I was, yeah, I was thinking about going there for business --
--- well, if you're gonna go --
--- I'm probably not gonna go though.
--- oh that's too bad, it's so great over there and if you were there we could say hello to each other or something --
-It was great to meet you again. To see you again, thanks for helping me yesterday --
-I'm going to go and eat tomorrow night do you want to go with me?
-Sure.
-Do you want to pick me up?
-Sure.
-Can I write down my address and phone number for you?
-This is funny.
-Yeah.
-I didn't ask anyone for a shrink, that was someone else. Also: This pudding is not mine. Also: I'm wearing a suit because I had a very important business meeting this morning and I don't have a crying problem.
-Ok.
-Alright?
-....Hi.....
-Who is it?
-...really? That's nice...are you lying?
-That's very nice. Thank you. Thank you for saying that. You're friends with my sister?
-Yeah.
-How long have you known her?
-About six months.
-You like her?
-Yeah. Yeah we get along well. You didn't get along with her very well?
-Did you really come to meet me on purpose or are you lying about that?
-No, no. I did.
-That's nice. It's nice. I've been looking around a lot lately at promotional giveaways, cross promotional work by some companies. Do you remember all that pudding?
-Yeah.
-So that pudding was bought, I bought that pudding because of a pretty interesting promotion that's sponsored by Healthy Choice and American Airlines. It's designed to encourage airline travel and obviously designed to encourage buying Healthy Choice products. They make frozen meals, deli meats, pasta sauce, breads, soups and ice creams, this sort of thing.....
-Yeah?
-....I'm sorry....I lost my thoughts, what I was saying....
-You were talking about the promotion --
--- the promotion says: buy any 10 Healthy Choice products and get 500 miles of airline travel or 1,000 for purchases made with a special coupon. So in the supermarket, you notice their products, first you notice they have a Teriyaki Chicken Dinner at $1.79 - that's a pretty good deal....but then I noticed they had soup at 89 cents a can.....and you start
-Yeah.
-That's what's used to redeem the mileage, so in noticing the pudding, each cup had an individual bar code -- in other words: Two dollars and fifty cents for ten cups of pudding is 500 miles. Add in the coupon: it's one thousand. You see?
-Yeah.
-You see?
-Yeah, no, I see --
-You see if you spent $3,000 dollars on pudding you could earn over one million frequent flyer miles.
-That's insane. That is really, really crazy. That's just crazy if you spend three thousand dollars on pudding.
-....yeah....
-So that was your pudding?
-....No....
-I'm sorry. I thought you said --
-No I didn't say that.
-I thought you said you bought all that pudding --
-My friend Carlos is doing it who works with me. It's his. It's his pudding, he's doing it. It's not mine. He's crazy. I told him not to do it. He's the one who's insane. He only spent about one hundred dollars so far though --
-Is everything ok?
-Yes.
-What happened?
-Nothing.
-What did he want?
-I have a better idea of where we can go.
-There's a better place for us to eat.
-Did something happen; are you alright?
-Your portable reed organ....the piano.
-Well, it's fine. Thank you.
-Did you pick it up from the street?
-What?
-Did you take it from the street in front of your work?
-...yes I did...?
-Are you learning how to play it?
-Yes? I'm trying.
-Oh that's great.
-So you must travel a lot with all that pudding you bought?
-Ok....well...I'm gonna go.
-...yeah...
-It was nice to see you again, to see your face again, to go out with you --
-I'll be around and back in town in a few days --
-Yeah.
-If you come to Hawaii --
-Yeah, I don't know, we'll see about that.
-You don't think you'll go --
-I don't know.
-Ok. Well call me when you get back, I mean, I'll call you when I get back. I'll be back for three weeks and then I go away for a month after that. So maybe in that time....
-This is Barry.
-This is Lena.
-Hi.
-I just wanted you to know, wherever you're going or whatever you're doing right now I want you to know that I wanted to kiss you just then.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-That was good.
-Yeah.
-I'll see you later.
-Ok.
-I don't freak out very often.
-What do you mean?
-I don't, no matter what my sisters say, ok?
-...I don't know what you mean....
-I don't freak out.
-Ok.
-Have a good trip.
-Hello?
-Lena?
-Yeah?
-It's Barry.
-HI. WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU HERE?
-Yes.
-OH WOW. YEAH. THAT'S GREAT. YOU CAME, YOU CAME. What are you doing?
-I'm calling you, I'm standing in my hotel room, I came because I have my business trip --
-Well let's do something do you want to do something, can you meet me?
-You don't have a boyfriend or anything do you?
-No. What do you mean? BARRY I just wanted to know. When was the last time you had a boyfriend?
-About six months ago. Why?
-I just wanted to make sure.
-When was the last time you had a girlfriend?
-Where you married?
-yeah.
-Ok. So you were married for how long?
-Do you want to meet me and talk about this stuff?
-You got me out of my hotel room. You came and got me out of my room.
-Yeah......yeah.....
-It's so nice.
-Do you wanna have sex?
-Oh my god, you are so adorable. I just....god dammit.
-What's that? What is that that you're doing?
-I just...your face is so adorable and your cheek and your skin, I wanna bite it....I wanna bite your cheek and chew on it....god damn cute....fuck....
-I know what you mean, I know what you mean, I get this feeling --
-...what...?
-I know. I know. I know. I just wanna chew your face and scoop out your beautiful, beautiful eyes with an ice cream scooper and eat 'em and chew 'em and suck on 'em. Fuck.
-This is funny.
-Yeah.
-Where do you have to go?
-For what?
-For work.....
-How many times have you been on an airplane?
-I think maybe over a hundred.
-That's right you travel so much.
-I forgot about that.
-Can I come home with you when we get there?
-Yeah.
-It's ok to ask that.
-Are you ok?
-I'm fine are you ok?
-Yes I'm sorry.
-What is this?
-Lena I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I left you at the hospital..... I called a phone sex line. I called a phone sex line before I met you and then these four blond brothers came after me and you got hurt and I'm sorry -- and I had to leave because I don't want you to get hurt again and now I'm
-You left me at the hospital.
-I'm sorry.
-You can't do that.
-Ok.
-If you give me six to eight weeks I can redeem the mileage and then I can with you wherever you have to travel......
-....I'm not exactly sure what that means...
-If they break or something. What is it, plastic?
-It's a plastic, yeah.
-Right. Alright, lemme call you first thing tomorrow, I'm gonna run the numbers, see what's what and I'll give you a call back --
-Did you have my home phone number?
-For what?
-If you wanted to call me back I could...
-I'm fine, I have your work number.
-Ok...because of the time difference if you needed to call me early?
-It's fine. I can just get you at your office.
-Ok.
-Ok, bye, bye.
-Why?
-Yeah.
-Did you do it?
-No.
-You didn't just smash up the bathroom?
-No.
-Well who did?
-I don't know.
-You're hand is bleeding.
-I cut myself.
-How?
-On my knife.
-Sir, a young man saw you coming out of the bathroom.
-I didn't do that.
-Why? ...what?
-Your hand is bleeding.
-I know.
-I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
-Why?
-Sir, I have no way of proving that you demolished the bathroom --
-I didn't do it.
-Alright, well you're gonna have to leave. You're gonna have to go.
-Yeah, but I didn't do anything.
-I'm gonna call the police then, sir.
-Please don't do this to me.
-The police are on their way.
-Can I pay you here? Can I pay you for our drinks and salad?
-Hi, this is Janice The Operator, who's this?
-Hello, how are you?
-Hi, is this your first time calling?
-Yes it is.
-Can I have your credit card number, followed by the expiration date?
-Can I ask how much is this?
--- it's $2.99 per minute for the first half hour and $1.99 per minute after that.
-......and this is confidential?
-What do you mean?
-It's....confidential, the call, my information is private.
-Of course. Would you like to talk to a girl? I can connect you with a beautiful girl if I can just get your credit card number followed by the expiration date?
-...3407 2627 3444 8095 expiration 05/04.
-And your billing address and the name as it appears on the card?
-.....1274 Moorpark. Sherman Oaks, California. #4. 91403.
-And your name?
-Barry Egan.
-And your Social Security number.
-What's that for?
-It's just for verification through the credit card company.
--- and this is confidential?
-Of course, it's just for us to verify your credit card information. It's completely confidential and it appears on your credit card billing statement as D&D Mattress Man.
-337.....I'm sorry....
-It's ok, take your time.
-337-09-9876. But I don't want anyone to know my name.
-No one will know your name.
-Can you say that my name is Jack?
-You want her to call you Jack?
-I just don't want anyone to know it's me.
-That's fine. Can I have a telephone number, area code first on where we can call you back?
-No I just....I don't want to, I just want to be connected to talk to a girl.
-It's a call back service -- a girl will call you back.
-Who is this?
-Hello, my name is Barry Egan and I called your service --
-Why don't you shut the fuck up?
-What?
-I said calm down and shut the fuck up. What's your problem?
-I haven't even told you what's happened. Your girl that you have that works there for you threatened me and two men just chased me -- extorted money -- DEAN Go fuck yourself that shit doesn't have anything to do with me - this is a legitimate bossiness.
-YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF. YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF. YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF. MY LOVE WAS HURT, SHE GOT HURT. I AM IN LOVE WITH HER AND YOU HURT YOU AND YOU ARE GONNA FUCKING GET HURT. YOU DON'T TOUCH HER, I LOVE HER.
-Now are you threatening me, dick?
-You are bad. You are a bad person. you are a bad person and you have no right to take people's confidence in your service --
-You better watch your mouth, cunt, you're gonna get hurt.
-NO. NO. DON'T YOU SAY THAT.
-I'll say whatever I want --
-YOU FUCK OFF. YOU FUCK OFF AND DIE I WILL HURT YOU FOR HURTING HER. YOU HURT HER.
-I'm a nice and reasonable man. I didn't do anything wrong. Please don't make me hurt you. And I'm telling you: that if you ever hurt me or if you hurt someone that I love.....I will hurt you many, many, many times over.....because it's not right to take people's trust.
-You came all the way from Los Angeles to tell me that?
-Can we agree that that is that?
-That's that.
-You do guaranteed sale? etc.
-Yes.....we do ask for....30 to 60 days....
-Sorry about that.
-I didn't know you had a sister?
-How many sisters do you have?
-How you doin' Barry?
-Hi Walter.
-How's business?
-Yeah.
-That was weird. I meant good.
-What's up?
-Well I'm sorry. Before...
-Mhm.
-And I'm sorry that I did that.
-It's alright.
-I wanted to ask you because you're a doctor, right?
-Yeah.
-I don't like the way I am sometimes. Can you help me? WALTER Barry, I'm a dentist, what kind of help do you think I can give you?
-I know that. Maybe you know other doctors?
-Like a psychiatrist?
-I don't have anyone to talk to things about and I understand it's confidential with a doctor - I'm embarrassed about that and I don't want my sisters to know?
-You want a number for a psychiatrist, I can get you one, that's not a problem. but what exactly is wrong?
-This is Janice the operator, who's this?
-...no....I don't....I don't remember you. Who's this?
-That's not true. That's not true at all. You said that your name was Georgia and you said our conversation was confidential and I trusted you and you kept calling and asking me for money, c'mon now I want to talk to your owner, your supervisor, whoever runs this, you understand. Please connect me now.
-Ok, sir....I'm gonna put you through to my supervisor.
-Fine, thank you.
-No, no, no, no, no. What do you mean? It doesn't state anywhere about six to eight weeks.
-It takes that much time to process the order and make sure it's valid --
-I had this whole thing in my head, I was gonna be able to get this to you today -- I have to leave today --
-I'm sorry.
-How am I supposed to know what to do if you don't say it -- if it's not in your rules and regulations in your fine print how am I supposed to know how to be with this --
-It takes time to process --
-Hey, good morning, Barry.
-Hey...Lance....can I.....
-You ok?
-Yes I'm fine.
-Why you wearin' a suit?
-Um....I bought one. I thought maybe it would be nice to get dressed for work, can I show you something?
-Yeah.....you got here early huh?
-What is this?
-I don't know. I think it's a piano....a small piano.
-Why is it here? Barry....Barry?
-Good morning, Barry....
-Hi, Lance.
-That's part of a very interesting airline promotion giveaway that's really tremendous. I'm going to start a collection of pudding and coupons that can be redeemed for frequent flyer miles through Healthy Choice and American Airlines --
-You're goin' on a trip?
-No.........but airline miles are just like a currency these days.
-You should go on a trip.
-No thanks.
-So what should I do with the pudding?
-It's not a piano. LANCE! LANCE! MAKE SURE THAT YOU CALL THAT GUY IN TOLEDO.
-WHICH?
-Which guy in Toledo are you talking about?
-I'll tell you...the guy...with...just talk to me later about it, ok?
-You talkin' to me about Ramada Inn?
-What's up?
-I think I got in trouble. A little bit of trouble....
-What happened?
-Ok. Well. I'm gonna go out of town. I'm going to go out of town just for two days...
-Where you goin?
-I'm going to go to Hawaii but you can't tell my sisters that.
-Wow, you're goin' to Hawaii, that's great -- you're goin -- ?
-Yeah but you can't tell my sisters that.
-Ok.
-Alright: And I have to go and buy some more pudding for this trip to Hawaii and as I just said that out loud I'm realizing it sounds a little strange but it's not. So can you come and help me out?
-You know you can get places in the world with pudding. That's funny.
-Yeah.
-....now: this pudding?
-Yeah.
-Where you been?
-Hey.
-Hi.
-I need to talk to you for a second.
-What?
-You made a phone call and you said you'd help a girl out and then you didn't....I'm here to get the money.
-Wait a minute --
-No, no, no, no c'mon man, don't make it a thing --
-Please don't do this.
-Whoa...whoa...wait, wait -- don't please....
-How much money do you have in your pockets?
-It's three hundred and twenty dollars, just take it.
-What do you have in the house?
-Nothing....I mean, really...change, nothing....that's the cash I have....
-You have an ATM?
-Yes.
-Is this where you live?
-Yes.
-You have another house somewhere or something?
-HEY. You made a fucking sex call and now you're gonna pay. It's not a big thing -- just give us some money and then it's over -- we'll just walk down to the ATM and get your money out --
-Ok. This is what you get when you're a pervert -- you said you'd help someone out and you didn't so we're just getting some money for her and that's that.
-They need to be scanned individually. They each have a bar code, so I need it scanned individually so that each and every cup appears on the receipt...
-What is this, man?
-I'm sorry.
-Are you serious with this?
-Yes. Sorry.
-Well....what do you want, then?
-Each pudding cup has to be scanned individually so that...it's for a giveaway...a product giveaway by this company...
-This is a bunch of bullshit.
-This is Barry.
-What are you doing?
-Hi, Kathleen, I'm just working.
-Are you going to the party tonight?
-Yes I am.
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
-Right now, you're doing nothing?
-I'm just talking on the phone to you and standing.
-What time are you gonna be there?
-Seven o'clock.
-You can't be late.
-I won't.
-I'm serious.
-I know.
-Seriously.
-Ok.
-You can't be late though.
-I know.
-You can't just not show up like you do, you have to go.
-I know.
-Seriously.
-I know.
-You can't just stay in your house.
-I know.
-Yeah but I'm serious.
-Ok.
-I'll see you there.
-I'll see you there.
-Don't puss out.
-I don't really remember that.
-Yes you do. We were calling you Gay Boy and you got so mad....
-That's cool.
-When can you leave?
-As soon as you want.
-Your expenses are your own.
-I thought Latisha said you would --
--- she didn't know what she was talking about --
-It's....whatever....that's not cool.
-This is this place called Ace Vintage, you gotta find it, I don't know exactly where this is and I don't understand these maps so just go there and check it out. It's a '61 AC Cobra that this old guy says is fine, but I need to figure out why he's only asking 23 for it. So take a look, the whole thing,
-Ok.
-That's it.
-So they'll go.
-...keys for the track. You have to gas it up and save the receipts on that. His address. We have a business address too if you need that -- but hit him at his house first, see what this little bad boy is all about and shake him up -- give him a little doe-see-doe --
-Uch. Shut up, Dean.
-What's the problem?
-Hello?
-Hey, it's me. This guy from L.A., Barry Egan is calling on the other line and saying all this stuff, he wants to talk to a supervisor or whatever --
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
-Put him through.
-No, no. This is bad, something might have happened, we should just --
-He's wearing a suit again, I don't know why he's wearing a suit, he doesn't usually dress like that --
-It's ok. That's alright.
-I'll go pay for my car.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah.
-He's being weird, I'm sorry. I have no idea why he's being weird and dressed in a suit --
-It's not bad, it's ok.
--- he's so strange I don't know if you really even would want to go out with him, someone like him, I said I'd try, but it's just --
-It's ok, it's alright. I'll come right back, I'll just go pay for my car.
-We should be going --
-I can't find that thing in my car, I can't find it so I'll just get it and give it to you later. So?
-You ready?
-Are you ready?
-Will you call me later to talk about asking Walter for the shrink? And we can talk about - he said you have this crying problem or something?
-So I'll meet you at the restaraunt?
-They need to see the new 484's to make sure it works with their OC....
-Ok. What should I do about Eric?
-Just tell him to call me.
-Ok.
-So...did my brother call you?
-No.
-I have no idea what he's doing then. I'm sorry that didn't work out.
-It's fine.
-You wouldn't want to go out with him anyway, honestly, he's such a freak sometimes.
-He did seem a little strange.
-Well...he's not that strange, don't say that.
-I'm sorry. You're right.
-I think he's weird, but that's me.
-Should I call you later?
-I'll just see you when you get back here.
-Welcome to Charenton, Abbe du Maupas.
-I'm pleased to have the new post, sir.
--- and the listless ones do the binding.
-It's remarkable, Doctor. The patients are so subdued; so docile.
-I don't believe it. The Marquis de Sade? You're actually publishing his novels?
-Of course, everything's not as harmonious as it seems. I hope you've a strong constitution.
-My years tending the lepers at St. Emilion steeled me for life's grisliest offerings, Doctor.
-"And so the Professor lifted Colombe's skirt high, above her waist. 'Let me be your Tutor,' said he, 'in the ways of love.' With that, he slid her pantalettes down, down, down over her knees, and there -- nestled between her legs -- as pink as a tulip, as slick as an eel --"
-We oughtn't be reading his nasty stories --
-You've been to his quarters, haven't you?
-Once or twice.
-I hear he's got a whetstone and chisel, and he uses them to sharpen his teeth.
-He's a writer, not a madman.
-If you're going to slander him, then you don't deserve to hear his stories --
-Marquis? Is that you?
-For fuck's sake, who else would it be? The witching hour's arrived; you've alerted the others, yes?
-Yes, well, I awoke to discover I'd turned into a cat. If you don't do as I say, I'll sink my little fangs into your drumsticks, and suck the marrow straight out of your bones.
-At your service, Count.
-"One day, Fanchon's first client was a surgeon. He ran his fingers across her naked skin, pulling apart folds of flesh, inspecting each and every follicle..."
-"With that, Fanchon expelled a scream so extravagantly pitched, that the surgeon was obliged to tear out her tongue --"
-"To seal the wound, he took a poker from the fire --"
-Then how can we know who is truly good, and who is evil?
-Madeleine --
-Yes, Abbe?
-Has he hurt you?
-I was wrong to free him, but so are you -- for taking all his treasures -- his quills and his ink --
-Had I known your taste in novels, I never would've taught you to read.
-Don't say that; reading's my salvation.
-But why must you indulge in his pornography?
-Ow!
-But why heap such ghastly fantasies atop an already ghastly existence?
-I put myself in his stories. I play the parts. Each strumpet, each murderess.
-Why not act the role of heroines instead? Queen Esther from the Bible, or St. Joan?
-In part, yes.
-The Doctor's a respected man, a friend of the court --
-I haven't been to see the Marquis for ages. And I won't -- ever again -- I swear it. I won't speak to him, I won't even utter his name --
-Charenton has changed; it's not safe for you here.
-Don't turn us out, Abbe.
-It's a sin against God for me to refuse your kindness. But my heart's held fast here...
-By whom? The Marquis?
-Madeleine, I... there are certain things... feelings... we must not voice.
-Why not?
-Go back to your room. Quickly.
-What? What've I done?
-Don't come back, not tonight, not again --
-If you'd grant me a final favor, I'd like the chance to explain myself --
-They've got no right, sending someone to sit on your shoulder. I work for you; I won't take orders from a stranger.
-Free his mouth.
-Mustn't do that, sir.
-I must grant him his last rites.
-I don't take my orders from you; not anymore.
-Care for a splash of wine, Abbe?
-It's not even noon --
-I should've told you it was the blood of Christ; you'd believe that, wouldn't you?
-We treat you well enough here, don't we Marquis? Your very own featherbed, in lieu of a straw mat. Your antique writing desk, all the way from LaCoste. Enough quills to feather an ostrich --
-It's true, dear-heart, you've spoiled me pink.
-In exchange, we ask only that you follow the rules. Now you know as well as I do... you're not to entertain visitors in your quarters.
-I'm entertaining you now, aren't I?
-I'm not a beautiful young prospect, ripe for corruption.
-Take your pen in hand, Marquis. Purge these wicked thoughts of yours on paper; maybe they'll govern you less in life.
-Yes! It is! The paper's cheap, the type's too small --
-What did you do? Bribe one of the guards?
-But you implored me to write! For curative purposes, to stave off my madness --
-But you've no right to publish! Behind my back, without my sanction!
-Have you truly read the book in question? Or did you run -- straightaway -- to the dog-eared pages?
-Enough to discern its tenor.
-And --?
-It's not even a proper novel! It's nothing but an encyclopedia of perversions! Frankly, it even fails as an exercise in craft. The characters are wooden; the dialogue is inane. Not to mention the endless repetition of words like "nipple" and "pikestaff" --
-There I was taxed; it's true.
-And such puny scope! Nothing but the very worst in man's nature!
-I write of the great, eternal truths that bind together all mankind! The whole world over, we eat, we shit, we fuck, we kill and we die.
-But we also fall in love; we build cities, we compose symphonies, and we endure. Why not put that in your books as well?
-It's a fiction, not a moral treatise.
-But isn't that the duty of art? To elevate us above the beast?
-I thought that was your duty, Abbe, not mine.
-One more trick like this, and I'll be forced to revoke all your liberties!
-It's that Doctor fellow, isn't it? He's come to usurp your place here, hasn't he?
-More than your writing's at stake. The Ministry has threatened us with closure.
-They can't be serious.
-Our future lies in the stroke of your pen.
-Mightier than the sword indeed.
-Put yourself in my place. I've your fellow patients to consider. If Charenton falls, they've no place to go. No manner in which to clothe or feed themselves --
-Fuck 'em! They're half-wits and pinheads. Let 'em die on the streets, as Nature intended.
-You've a touch of the poet, too; perhaps you should take up the quill.
-If you only mean to dupe me again --
-You mean to take us all down with you?
-He can't do that to me.
-How can one man possibly be so selfish?
-What the devil --
-Perhaps -- in time -- you'll earn them back through good behavior --
-You can't --! You mustn't --! I've all the demons of hell in my head; my only salvation is to vent them on paper --
-Start with the Bible; it's cheerier, and more artfully written.
-That monstrous God of yours? He strung up his very own son like a side of veal; I shudder to think what He'd do to me.
-I'll die of loneliness! I've no company but the characters I create --
-I have a proposition.
-You always do.
-Madeleine. She's besotted with me; she'd do anything I ask. She could pay you a midnight visit --
-I don't know who you insult more; her or me.
-"Part the gates of heaven," as it were --
-That's enough.
-You're tense, darling. You could use a long, slow screw.
-Good day, Marquis.
-My bed, gone! Am I to freeze to death?
-His rug.
-That's a Turkish weave, you numbskull; it costs more than you'll earn in your lifetime --
-Virgin birth -- ha! An entire religion, built on an oxymoron!
-Orvolle. His wine. From now on, nothing but water at every meal --
--- water! --
-WHY THIS SUDDEN TORTURE?
-I DIDN'T CREATE THIS WORLD OF OURS! I ONLY RECORD IT!
-Its horrors, perhaps! Its darkest nightmares! And to what end? Nothing but your own morbid gratification --
-If it were up to the Doctor, you'd be flayed alive.
-A man after my own heart...
-What in God's name am I to do with you? The more I forbid, the more you're provoked!
-I could be convinced to abandon my writing, quite voluntarily.
-What on earth would that require?
-A night spent with the partner of my choice.
-You expect me to pimp Madeleine?
-OFF WITH YOUR CLOTHES!
-Coulmier, you animal!
-I DO NOT MEAN TO FLIRT, MARQUIS!
-Oh, but you must, my pumpkin! Sex without flirtation is merely rape!
-It's a potent aphrodisiac, isn't it? Power over another man.
-Oh, I'm to be blamed now, am I?
-Your words drove Bouchon to --
-For fuck's sake, Abbe! What am I to do? Police my readers as you police me? Suppose one of your precious wards had attempted to walk on water and drowned? Would you condemn the Bible? I think not!
-An innocent child is dead.
-It's no secret that you loved her.
-Oh, that's rich -- coming from her lapdog --
-I saw the longing in your eye --
--- that was lust --
-Don't confuse one organ with another --
-I know, because I felt it myself --
-I WANTED TO FUCK HER, THAT'S ALL!
-AND DID YOU?
-IT'S NOT YOUR PROVINCE TO ASK.
-You're no stranger to rape, Marquis; and yet with her, you cooed. You courted. You begged.
-Go to hell!
-Why was it you never took her by force?
-Who's to say I did not?
-Was it impotence?
-NEVER!
-I FUCKED HER COUNTLESS TIMES! IN EVERY ORIFICE! AND ALL THE WHILE, SHE PLEAD FOR MORE --
-I dare you. Stab my flesh. Which one of us will bleed?
-Abbe de Coulmier!
-I'm here.
-Surely you'll grant me a final word.
-Dr. Royer-Collard? May I be the first to welcome you to Charenton --
-This may feel a tad awkward, my friend, but it needn't be. I've merely come to oversee your work here; understood?
-Of course.
-It's a formality; truly.
-You're a man of Science; I'm a man of God. Charenton stands to profit from us both, I'm certain.
-I'll need an office on the grounds; someplace to store my things.
-If you don't mind my asking... why has the Emperor taken such sudden interest in my... our... affairs?
-I understand he practices the very crimes he preaches in his fiction.
-Indiscretions, Abbe? Please. I've read his case history. At sixteen, he violated a serving girl with a crucifix. After six months in the dungeon at Vincennes, he mutilated a prostitute, cutting her flesh with a razor, then cauterizing the wounds with wax --
-He's made a great success of our Little Theater; there's seldom an empty seat. Not to mention its therapeutic value.
-Why is he in your care, and not a proper prison?
-His wife's influence.
-His wife's?
-And he's never once attempted escape?
-Besides, every wholesome thing he might desire, he has at Charenton. A library, filled with the world's great books, music lessons, watercolor exercises --
-What is the impact of all these amenities upon his psyche?
-He no longer roars or spits. He no longer taunts the guards or molests his fellow wards --
-Oh. That.
-Well...?
-It's essential to his recovery; a purgative for the toxins in his mind.
-Do you favor its publication?
-You have to believe me, I had no idea --
-All France is aghast at this book, yet you've not heard of it?
-I've taken vows to live my life within these walls; not outside them.
-Abbe, I admire you; I do. You've a conviction... an idealism... peculiar to the very young. And so I'll be candid. The Ministry has sent me here with the most explicit... the most severe instructions.
-Unless we set Charenton on a straight and narrow course, she'll be shut down forever by order of the Emperor.
-Shut down?
-In their eyes, the Marquis is the surest barometer of your progress here.
-But he's one among some two hundred wards --
-Have you tried bleeding him with leeches? The calming chair? Maybe you should flog him at the stake?
-Why? So he'll learn to fear punishment, rather than pursue virtue for its own reward?
-You're a sentimental man.
-A practical man, sir. Given the Marquis' unusual tastes, a sound thrashing on bare flesh may not qualify as a deterrent.
-On the contrary. Let me take up this matter with the Marquis myself --
-And place my reputation at stake?
-Well?
-I spoke to him with reason and compassion; the tools which serve us best here.
-And --?
-He's more than a patient, Doctor; the Marquis is my friend --
-You keep strange company, Abbe. But if you truly have matters in hand here --
-I have.
-Madame Bougival; Mademoiselle Clairwil -- and of course -- the Marquis' wife --
-It was fiction, of course.
-Of course.
-It was not inspired by circumstance.
-You ought to be ashamed, Abbe. Exploiting those drooling, pathetic cretins for financial gain --
-That's not our intent --
-I'll do everything in my power --
-You'll get more from her with kindness than you will with force.
-He'll do no such thing.
-It's a weak man who tests his mettle on the backs of children --
-This child let loose the beast from its cage --
-If only blood will appease you, then shed mine.
-As you say, Doctor.
-Perhaps you'll be so kind as to remind me of her name...
-I beg you, Doctor, don't make me say it.
-My, my. You have exceeded my expectations.
-And my own.
-How is the patient faring?
-Poorly.
-And you? It must've been an ordeal.
-I'm not the first man God has asked to shed blood in His name. I will not be the last.
-Will you sleep soundly tonight?
-I've stared into the face of evil... ...and I've lived to tell the tale. Now... for your own sake... let me write it down.
-"As he loosened his manhood from beneath his robes, The Bishop muttered a Latin prayer. And then -- with a mighty thrust -- drove it into her very entrails --"
-As for the author... shoot him.
-A word of caution, Sire: we all remember what happened to Robespierre, Danton and Marat. Put the Marquis to death, and history might even regard you as a despot.
-But I am history.
-Of course, Your Highness. Nevertheless... cure the Marquis de Sade... succeed, where countless physicians and priests have failed...
-Yes?
-But here at the Hotel Dieu we favor an... aggressive... course of treatment.
-Quite.
-Charenton? The administrator there is quite well-loved, is he not?
-I'm afraid so; he's an idealist. You'll have to be politic.
-His wife was trying to escape; they caught her on the stair, and set upon her with bayonets. "There but for the grace of God"... eh, Doctor?
-Here it is; the last chapter.
-Monsieur Masse says he'd like another manuscript, quick as you please. He's got himself three presses, and he can't print 'em fast enough.
-I'll pass the word on, then.
-I'll pay you another visit, with a share of the profits, once its sold.
-I'll be waiting.
-You asked my name once; it's Madeleine.
-At last she arrives, my hard-won bride! Hurry, my child, and scurry inside. There you'll find such treasures await you; Marzipan and meringue to sate you!
-Quickly, my suckling, out of your clothes! My scepter awaits; how solid it grows!
-My darling, Eugenie, dainty morsel! Get on your back! Let's try it dorsal!
-I'll plunder every lovely pore until you're week and cry "no more!"
-I tremble with fear! You're bound to pound the quivering lips of my Venus mound!
-And then -- to prove your truly mine -- I'll plunder you, darling, from behind!
-What of my lips, will you soil them too? When you've broken every other taboo?
-If you won't read it to your own Mama, then perhaps you ought not to be reading it at all.
-It's not your cup of tea, Mama.
-"A habituè of cemeteries, his proudest conquest was a maid six decades his senior, deceased a dozen years."
-Oh, it's terrible! It's too, too terrible! Well. Go on.
-"The vigor with which he made love caused her bones to dislodge. Still, he granted her the highest compliment he accorded any woman..."
-Yes?
-I'm only a laundress; not a detective.
-You're more than a priest; you're an angel! Ain't he, Maddy?
-I'm hungry for a proper visit.
-Don't start --
-Did I frighten you?
-You? Frighten me? That's a good one! I'm twice as fast as you are. Who'd have thought such a spent body can still boast such a fertile mind?
-It's the only frontier I have left, plumcake.
-The peril of composing such incendiary prose...
-If only these coins purchased your other talents, too.
-There's something else I want from you.
-You've already stolen my heart, as well as another more prominent organ, south of the Equator...
-Your publisher says I'm not to leave without a new manuscript.
-The unhappy tale of a virginal laundry lass, the darling of the lower wards, where they entomb the criminally insane.
-Is it awfully violent?
-Most assuredly.
-Is it terribly erotic?
-A kiss for each page.
-Must I administer them directly, or might I blow them?
-The price, my coquette, is every bit as firm as I am...
-It's a long story, this one.
-The climax comes at a higher cost; you must sit on my lap.
-The story's thrilling conclusion comes at a premium.
-What have they done to you now?
-My newest book begins at my right cuff, continues across my back, and completes itself at the base of my left shoe...
-They've taken your clothes?
-Surely you've seen a man naked.
-I must say, in your novels you stoke the most unrealistic expectations.
-The Abbe's sending me away. He fears for me here, what with the likes of you --
-Don't be fooled, Madeleine! He fears for himself. He's like a man starving, and you -- ha! -- you're like a pork chop dolloped with heavy cream --
-He's a man of God; he's true to his vows.
-It needn't be; not if you've another story.
-How do you propose I write it? With dust, upon the air?
-Yes; that's it! A final volley from us both!
-Go on, child.
-Tomorrow night, whisper a new tale to your neighbor, Cleante. He'll whisper it to his neighbor Dauphin, who'll whisper it to his neighbor Franval --
--- who'll whisper it to Bouchon --
--- whose cell lies next to the linen cabinet! There, armed with a quill of my own, I'll commit it to paper!
-Yes! You shall. Of course you shall --
-A tale more horrible than all the rest combined!
-...yes, I've got that bit...
-"...your wife."
-Tell him I'm no fool. A prison's still a prison, even with Chinese silk and chandeliers.
-"By the time you read this, we'll be long gone; bound for England or points beyond..."
-Tell him -- if he uncovers our whereabouts -- you'll slit your wrists with a razor, and I'll plunge a hat- pin through my heart.
-You'd do that, rather than forsake our love?
-It is customary to write first, and request an appointment --
-Desperation has driven me past etiquette, all the way to frenzy.
-I beg to differ, Doctor. You work in a madhouse. Your every waking moment is governed by the insane.
-I pray you: be succinct.
-You're new to Charenton, yes? Perhaps you're not yet familiar with my husband, and his unusual case.
-I assume you've come to plead for clemency on your husband's behalf.
-You're aware, are you not, that it costs a great deal to house your husband at Charenton...
-I pay his stipend every month, far more dutifully than I should.
-Perhaps if you were to buttress your entreaties with the means to oblige them...
-I am not a wealthy woman.
-But you've a pension, haven't you, from the sale of his books?
-It's tainted money, Doctor.
-What a beautiful thought, Marquise.
-What thought is that?
-If you're truly determined to step out of the shadow of your husband's celebrity --
-Oh, but I am!
--- words alone are insufficient.
-Don't toy with me, Doctor.
-I am eternally in your debt.
-And I in yours.
-Doctor... Can I impart to you his cruelest trick?
-Of course.
-Good God, Marquise --
-This is neither the time nor the place --
-If only you'd remained true to our contract! Opiates, for his nerves! Restraints! The man warrants a bed of nails --
-You've no right to assault me in this fashion; I'll call for my footman. I'll have you removed --
-Public scorn carries a terrible sting. Trust me. I'm a woman who knows.
-It's libelous; you wouldn't dare.
-Hm? Tell me. What other treats?
-For fuck's sake, woman! BONBONS? I'm to sit here, gorging myself on useless trifles, sucking down your little sweetmeats, when what I truly need -- what I truly require -- are a few quill pens? Perhaps a pot of ink?
-How was I to know, my darling?
-I beg you, Donatien... as your wife... your only ally... you must stop making such a monstrous spectacle of yourself.
-You've come to lecture me?
-To flaunt your deviance in public? Upon a stage?
-They've put you up to this, haven't they?
-Everywhere I go, they point and whisper! At the opera, they hiss at me when I take my box. When I went to church... the priest refused to even hear my confession; he said I was already damned! Why must I suffer for your sins?
-It's the way of all martyrs, isn't it?
-Tell me; have you done anything to secure my release? NO! Have you petitioned the court? NEVER! Sought audience with the Emperor --
-He refuses to be seen in my company! He blanches at the mention of your name --
-Leave at once --
-But it's just begun --
-Doesn't that please you?
-Very much.
-I'd prefer to have our brandy in the salon. There we can sit... side-by- side... before the fire.
-I'd rather read, thank-you.
-Ever met Walter Winchell?
-No, when I was but a tender lad--
-So you ever gonna do a picture?
-Not you too
-It's gonna be fine, Orson. You're gonna do great.
-I wonder sometimes.
-You're just scared.
-Of being found out. Of not being a genius
-Oh, but haven't you heard? I'm the Boy Wonder. I've been a genius since the moment I was born.
-We've known each other too long, Orson. Sling the bullshit elsewhere.
-Carole, you wound me! As if I could hope to pacify you with evasions of--
-That poor woman.
-And we would hear them scuttling around at night with their little red eyes and little yellow t-t- teeth and I'm just imagining plague lice jumpin' all over the damn place So we set t-t-traps everywhere. And every morning we would find the t-t-traps sprung but no mice!
-God, these parties are the worst
-You need to get outta here, Rapunzel
-That's why he has the parties, he says it's like bringing the world to me.
-Why don't you come down to LA? Stay with us for a while.
-It's not so bad here. After all, what girl doesn't want to live in a castle?
-Mr. Welles certainly is a caution
-Yeah, Orson's a real piece of work. But deep down, he's a good kid. Real deep down.
-And attractive in a hammy sort of way.
-Listen, you come down and stay with us for a few days. Just tell the old man that--
-I can't
-Sure you can, just--
-When I met him I was just 20. And he was 55. I saw the gold ring and just grabbed on. And he was going to make me a star.
-I did my best but, well, you know me
-Sure
-Thing that bothers me now, though, looking back is that I really think I could have been something ... special.
-Thinking like that is only gonna drive you nuts You were a great star and you had a good run. That oughta be enough.
-Yeah. But all of a sudden it's not
-You know this CITIZEN KANE picture? About Pops and everything?
-Uh-huh
-The character that's supposed to be me, Susan Alexander--
-Marion, everyone knows you're not like that--
-Who are you, sir?
-My name is Orson Welles
-The actor
-And director.
-I see. And you are in California for what reason?
-Well, I wish you luck. It is a treacherous business.
-So I've been told.
-In Hollywood the fiercest bulls are the most brutally killed.
-I wonder. Do you have any idea what you have done?
-Do you?
-Intimately. For every sin you have placed on my head I could give you a hundred others. I have been swimming in blood my entire life. But I retain a belief, perhaps you will think it old fashioned, undoubtedly you will, but I believe that private lives should not be public property.
-Elegant words, sir, when you have made your name and your fortune on slander and innuendo and gossip. In your papers you taught the world how to look under every rock. I learned at the knee of the master.
-Louis
-Randolph!
-Quite. And this is why I came to visit. Have you heard about this CITIZEN KANE picture?
-Mm. Not a very good picture I am told.
-Uh-hub.
-Apparently it details the exploits of a publisher like myself. Entirely too much like myself. Do you follow so far?
-And maybe we could get Mr. Warner and Mr. Goldwyn and Mr. Cohn and Mr. Selznick to play as well.
-You know that can't happen.
-Oh, why is that?
-Why is that, Louis?
-See what you can do about this CITIZEN KANE picture, won't you?
-Goddamn it. I gotta have some kinda life!
-There's no call for that language-
-This is supposed ta be Siam or some such. Some kinda lousy B-B-Balinese temple. This look like a temple to you? I can't see it myself--
-There. That's right.
-She's a Catholic. She says it would put her soul in peril. Divorce is a very serious sin, apparently.
-The Journal was pretty harsh to Roosevelt today.
-You oughta lay off him -- he is the p-p-president, after all.
-He is a Bolshevik. He will have us at war by the end of the year. I think I'm going to run that wheelchair picture.
-How bad is it?
-Nothing for you to worry about, darling
-The S.E.C. has turned down my request for relief on the debts.
-How much?
-It's not really--
-We're 125 million dollars in debt?
-How does one get 125 million dollars in debt?
-Well -- he got us, didn't he? She stands and goes quickly to pour a drink. A forced laugh
-Nailed us, hub? The crazy old man and his whore.
-Marion--
-Bought and p-p-paid for. Just like one of his goddamn statues. Well at least in the movie he married her!
-This picture--
-Then you explain it to me?!
-There's nothing to explain
-A million dollars a year on art and st-st-statues and there's nothing to explain?!
-I will not defend my life to you--
-I'm not asking you to defend anything. But we're in a pickle and we gotta talk about it.
-We are in no "pickle" -- as you would euphemistically have it.
-You gotta wake up now. Pops.
-There is nothing to discuss-
-You don't have any money left, okay?! That's the truth. I don't wanna say it, nobody else will say it, but it's the truth. You spent it all. You can't buy the Tribune in Chicago -- you can't buy ^ g-g- goddamn thing. Now you better face up to it--
-You are being typically theatrical, Marion. I need the Tribune to--
-That -- did you need that? How much did that cost?
-It's 12th Century. From Deauville -- in France.
-I know where Deauville is for C-C-Christ's sake.
-You needn't use that language with me
-Did you need it? Did you need any of it?
-I wanted it
-There's a different between want and
-Not for me.
-That's right. You've captured me exactly. Goodnight.
-You will not walk out on me
-You are repellant when you drink.
-Tough shit. We need to t-t-talk about this--
-Fuck you, Mr. Kane.
-I will not have this in my home.
-I just want to understand--
-No, you don't. You want to condemn me, like everyone else. You want to point to the pathetic, old man grown lunatic with his spending -- trapped in his ridiculous
-castle -- still fighting old battles he will never win with Pulitzer and Roosevelt and Hollywood--
-I don't want you to--
-It's all you. It has the political campaigns and the mining fortune and the war with Pulitzer and the castle. And ... Marion.
-How so?
-The jigsaw puzzles and the, urn, career -- the man spending a fortune to make her a star -- only it's opera and not movies. And...
-Yes?
-Thank you for your time
-Miss Parsons, I have one additional question for you.
-Sir?
-Why did we not know about this sooner?
-Sir?
-I pay you a good deal of money to be my eyes and ears in Hollywood, do I not? If you cannot provide this simple service you are of no use to me.
-Sir, I-
-He lied to me
-He looked into my face and told me it wasn't about you.
-I want blood
-"Well, if you got drunk to talk to me about Miss Alexander, don't bother. I'm not interested. I've set back the sacred cause of reform, is that it? All right, if that's the way they want it, the people have made their choice. It's obvious the people prefer Jim Gettys to me."
-Keep filming.
-I can't remember the lines!
-This is the chance you've been waiting for, boy. Tell that son of a bitch just what you think of him!
-You're not going to get another chance, boy! Look right at the monster and you tell him--
-"You don't care about anything except you. You just want to persuade people that you
-love them so much that they ought to love you back. Only you want love on your own terms. "
-Tome it's a question of truth and illusion. Don't you get tired of the errant falsity in motion pictures?
-Huh?
-Now, Orson, you know I'm just dyin' to see your picture and I know it's gonna be boffo, but you're writing about a publisher, right?
-We're using-
-You're not doin' Hearst, are you?
-Good God no! The character is a delicious amalgamation of various press barons--
-That's right. A symphony of those: vaunted and valued tellers-of-truth. Those heroic minutemen standing sentry on our liberties--
-Orson, hold on. Look into my eyes. Tell me you are not doing Hearst.
-Schaefer, I gotta see this Welles picture
-Louella, hello, I was just fixing a drink, would you like--?
-You drink at 10 am, do you?
-No -- no -- I mean--
-I wanna see the picture today
-That might be a tad difficult because Orson is scoring the picture now and he's very particular about the music--
-Cut the malarkey, buddy. The boss himself wants me to see the picture today.
-He personally asked you to?
-Hearst?
-That's right, fella, no Hearst paper will run an RKO ad until you agree that CITIZEN KANE will never see the light of day.
-Louella, please, be reasonable, I understand you have problems with Orson's picture but maybe we can work something out--
-Nix, sweetie. You shelve it
-Oh for God's sake, Louella-
-And Mr. Hearst has authorized me to tell you that you're looking at the most beautiful lawsuit in history if you release this picture. He'll bleed your little studio dry and you can all go on back to New York and do Shakespeare with the Boy Wonder.
-Can I talk to Hearst?
-I don't know what you expected with Joseph- fucking-Conrad for Chrissake. I mean this is Hollywood, pal.
-All right! Enough! I've heard this from Schaefer and RKO. I've heard it from everyone--
-But you keep coming up with the same elitist crap - - HEART OF DARKNESS with a million dollar budget?! - - no one wants to see that.
-What are movies about, Orson?
-Forget it-
-What are movies about?
-Telling stories.
-Nope.
-Showing life
-Magic
-Butts on seats. That's what movies are about. You got one job in Hollywood -- everyone has the same job, in fact -- putting the butts on the seats. You gotta sell 'em popcorn and Pepsi- cola. It's all about popcorn and Pepsi-cola.
-Not for me.
-Then you better get ready to be the youngest never- was in Hollywood history.
-That's better than being the oldest has-been in Hollywood history.
-So, we've got to come up with our movie. Our biography.
-Right-
-We find the man and then we dissect him-
-Like a bug.
-But with compassion and insight--
-How about Howard Hughes? We could do Hughes
-I'm not fucking with Hughes. That shit-kicker would kill us dead, baby. Just like Jean Harlow
-Howard Hughes killed Jean Harlow?
-Sigmund Freud?
-Manolete?!
-Who the hell's Manolete?
-The great Spanish bullfighter
-I don't wanna write about no spic.
-The man doesn't allow drinking or cigars? This is monstrous.
-The old man has his own way of doing things
-Look at those hands. Those are the hands of an artist. A modern Caravaggio.
-"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree. . . "How big is it, all told? The estate?
-The whole joint is half the size of Rhode Island.
-Jesus
-Mank! You scoundrel! What took you so long?!
-Here you are, up with the birds for once, you vampire!
-Okay, boy wonder, what?
-Oh for Christ's sake-
-I know who we're going to get I The great American biography! A journey into the soul of the beast.
-This better be good
-Image a man that has shaped his time. A titanic figure of limitless influence. Think about empire. A man with an empire at his feet. A man, like a baron, living in a palace, a glorious palace on a hill, and controlling the permutations of everyone beneath him. Feudal.
-Oh Christ...
-Image the possibilities as this man controls the public perception of the nation through his--
-Yes.
-Please don't say this.
-Mank-
-Don't whisper it. Don't even think it
-How long have we spent casting our minds about the world when the answer to our prayers was right here under our noses -- every single day in the newspapers and on the radio -- waiting for us in that ridiculous castle! Waiting for--!
-Now remember he's a public figure who sought out that publicity so legally he can't stop us from--
-Listen to you. You child! Men like him don't bother with things like legality. They don't have to. You know why, boy-o? Power. Power like you couldn't even begin to imagine.
-Howard Hughes, he would just kill us. Hearst he would kill us and fuck everything we ever loved.
-You may think you know what you're talking about, kid, but believe me, you don't. You're talking about going into a battle you can never win on a battlefield so far above things like movies and Hollywood that Hearst won't even have to glance down when he crushes you. When he flicks you away with one finger. I'm talking about money and influence and
-So speaks the court jester.
-Fuck you
-I expected more from you.
-Sorry to disappoint.
-I remember a man who wrote I He was a brilliant writer who dazzled me time and time again with his wit and insight--
-Don't do this
-Where did he go? He hasn't had a screen credit in four years--
-Don't do this
-Let me out.
-Listen to me-
-Fuck you--
-I am giving you the last chance you will ever have to be yourself again!
-I don't have it anymore?!
-When I was a kid I wanted to scorch the world too - - I had all kinda dreams about making great pictures and telling great stories. But all that's finished for me--
-It doesn't have to be
-And yeah, sure, Hearst's a great subject. Been keeping notes on him for years for my ... great American novel. But I can't do it anymore. No studio's gonna hire me and I - -
-I'll hire you -- right now-
-I can't do it. okay?! I drink too much -- I drink all the fucking time and I don't have it anymore. All that is over for me--
-He'll destroy us.
-So, who is he? We have to know him.
-Everyone sees someone different. That's what we show.
-How?
-The key -- the key -- the clue -- what does this man recall on his death bed? Okay, Mank, you're dying. What's the last image that comes to you? Right now.
-This girl on a dock. White dress. Never said a word to her.
-Why her?
-All men love. But men like Hearst -- they don't bother with convention because--
-They don't have to.
-Hearst looks down at the world at his feet Everything has always been beneath him.
-And what does he see?
-The people. When they pay him homage, he adores them. But when they have the ... audacity to question him. To doubt him. To embarrass him. Then he despises them.
-It's 350 pages long.
-Yeah, but the margins are real wide.
-It's good, huh?
-Good?! Good?! Words fail you at last! It's terrific! Now I'll have to do some shaping, of course, and some of the scenes aren't exactly . . . exactly . . .
-What?
-Short enough. But this is a grand start And I think we need to change the name.
-The title?
-No, AMERICAN is a blessed title directly sent from God's soul to your mind. We shall never change that! I mean the name of the publisher. Charles Foster Craig doesn't have the knives-out poetry I need. I was thinking about "Kane" -- you like that?
-Cain -- like the Bible guy?
-K-A-N-E. One strong syllable. Kane I
-Craig is one syllable
-I --um-- I don't know if I should. I ain't been drinking since I started on this--
-Jesus Christ --
-And I'm looking at them -- and they're all looking at me and I don't know who should pour the tea. '
-Uh huh.
-I want you back
-Fuck you. You wanted me out. I'm out.
-I'm sorry.
-Did I ever tell you about my father?
-I don't give a shit about-
-Hey, kid. Gregg.
-Mank, sit down. You missed the opening of the new picture but I'll go back--
-No, but I can imagine. What am I today? A "puny upstart" or a "spoiled dilettante" -- no, she wouldn't know how to spell that
-"And how is the country to feel when this industry continues to employ bedraggled foreigners and swarthy refugees instead of real Americans? Doesn't Hollywood know there's a Depression on? Don't real Americans deserve work?"
-Well, at least she's off KANE today
-No she's not. Don't you get it, ya lunk? She's using code language to the studio bosses. "Bedraggled foreigners and swarthy refugees" -- who the hell do you think she's talking about?
-Hedy Lamarr?
-Who owns this town? Who runs every goddamn studio? The tribe, baby. These fuckers hear the word "Jew" and they start sweating. Like Ester Williams' pool they start sweating.
-So they're Jews. . .
-This is just the first shot. Maestro. Sooner or later she's gonna use the word. And all those boys know that there is only one thing this country hates more than the coloreds and that's the Jews.
-Christ.
-Me, I'm proud to be a Jew, I got no problem. You don't like it, fuck you. But with these guys it's like a dirty word. All they wanna be is good red- white-and-blue Americans, and the way they see it you can't be a good American and a Jew. So Sam Goldfish becomes Sam Goldwyn and David Selznick becomes David 0. Selznick --
-What does this have to do with--?
-Believe you me, they're gonna do anything -- and I mean absolutely anything -- to stop that word from gettin' out.
-If he had known about KANE before you made it, you'd be dead already.
-It's too late. The movie's made
-They won't let it out. Not Hearst. Not the other studio heads--
-You wrote the damn thing, Mank Aren't you going to fight for it?!
-Is that from one of the Gospels?
-YOU STUPID, LITTLE MAN! HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN?! I GAVE YOU MY SOUL AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO SELL IT!?
-You gonna watch?
-Hell, I know how it ends. Hey, Rosebud's the sled!
-Mank!
-Shit
-What have I done?
-You know, all this nightmare we went through with Hearst. The whole thing... And in the end, probably no one will ever remember the picture anyway.
-He truly doesn't care if he ever works again.
-They came to me with an offer. 800,000 for the negative and all the prints.
-And they went to the stockholders in New York.
-Oh God.
-Monstro! Ran into Walter Winchell outside He wants to play Herod in the picture. Hiya, George.
-Herman.
-May I help you?
-I, um, need an estimate on some jewelry I might wish to sell. But d-d-discretion is very important to me b-b-because I don't want anyone t-t-to, um, know that--
-Excuse me, I hope this isn't rude, but aren't you Marion Davies?
-Yes.
-Well, this is a great pleasure. Miss Davies! I just saw that ENCHANTMENT is playing at a the Tivoli, the revival house in Santa Monica. That was a fine picture!
-Thank you-
-Not one of them today has what you had, Miss Davies. Not one of them.
-Thank you -- b-b-but I'd really like t-t-to--
-Of course, of course. How can we be of service?
-As I said I have some j-j-j-j- that I might wish t-t-to sell and I wanted an estimate--
-It came.
-800,000 dollars fully covers the production budget and a little more. Hell, George, you even make a profit on the deal.
-Very generous
-And we gotta be clear here. I need the negative and every existing print.
-To do what?
-That's for me to decide.
-You're going to destroy it
-No, maybe put it on the shelf until the old man kicks it.
-You're lying to me.
-You talked to New York?
-Yes
-Yes
-Get out
-You're bettin' on an inside straight this time. You'll never pull it off.
-"Rosebud? I'll tell you about Rosebud.
-"Rosebud? I'll tell you about Rosebud.
-"Rosebud? I'll tell you about Rosebud.
-"Rosebud? I'll tell you about Rosebud."
-"Rosebud? I'll tell you about Rosebud
-It's an awful title, of course, but I can't think of anything better. Someone came up with A SEA OF UPTURNED FACES -- which has a nice, grand ring to it -- and I thought of JOHN CITIZEN, USA but that strikes me as a bit Warner Brothers. Or, God forbid, Capraesque. I suppose AMERICAN will do for now but--
-CITIZEN KANE
-Pardon?
-A "Z" and a "K" in the title. That would draw the eye. For the poster. I like that THE PRISONER OF ZENDA had a "Z" and a "P" and that worked--
-Now look, Orson, let's not get ahead of ourselves. The budget projections on this--
-I know, I know! But what more can you expect of me?! I have pared this story down to the marrow to save money but to cut more would be to--!
-Now don't have a fit -- but I want you to think again about doing WAR OF THE WORLDS-
-Jesus
-Do WAR OF THE WORLDS as a feature and everyone's happy. You make some money and New York's happy and you have a track record and then we'll move on to KANE.
-Please don't ask me to do this.
-For the title
-This is an abomination There's no music and--
-They've all seen a rough cut
-The magazines are one thing -- but Hedda! Why did we have to let her come?!
-And this is the evening edition. Notice anything?
-What do you want me to do, Orson? Radio City won't premiere the picture. Louella threatened them with some bullshit about
-Then find another theater
-You don't think I've tried? No one is willing to open the picture
-Listen to me. The press ban is killing us and the distributors won't book it. And meantime I'm dealing with the stockholders in New York who are scared shitless -- and I'm this far from getting fired myself -- and you don't have a friend in the world but me right now. So you have got to trust that I'll do what I can
-"Do what you can"?! That's not good enough I
-Well it' s all you've got !
-You're with them, aren't you? You're going to bury my movie. They bought you!
-For Christ's sake, shut up--
-Why don't you just have the guts to admit it
-How dare you talk to me like that! Do you think I'm like all the rest of those pirates?! Like Mayer and Warner? Is that what you think--?!
-It's just that my movie is so-
-Do you every think for one second that you might have some responsibility for what you're doing?! For cutting and slashing everything in your way so you can have your goddamn movie?!
-That soulless monster gets no tears from me.
-This isn' t some kinda fucking game! You know how many people RKO employs?! You know how many people depend on what we do for a living?!
-I really think you're
-You wanna commit suicide, fine! You got some death- wish, fine! But you will not drag this company down with you!
-You're not still mad at me, I hope
-No, we're jake. But listen-
-Look, not a single scene shot in the studio! We've found natural locations for the whole story--
-Hold on a sec. I got news. We finally found somewhere to premiere KANE but--
-I told you! Where? Grauman's? El Capitan? Or did Radio City come crawling back?
-I think you better sit down
-It's my birthday this week. I'll be 26.
-Oh God. . .
-You know something, Orson, you haven't done anything but lie to me from the moment we met. But, ya know, I'd do it again in a second.
-It was fun, wasn't it?
-It was the best, kid
-So, on to the Life Of Christ!
-Orson, you wanna take five?
-It's just not low enough. This is the scene. We have to look up at these two man as pillars soaring to the sky. As towering virtues in combat--
-Spare me the aria, I know what you want--
-I need my shoes in total focus right here and also Joe back there--!
-I know what you want but it can't be done!
-Take apart the fucking camera rig -- we could get a few more inches down and then tilt up--
-How 'bout a real drink?
-We done?
-Oh, no--
-Yes!
-He's Christ?
-I'm Christ
-You want to do the life of Jesus?
-Let's go, Jake, wake up!
-Huh? Whadda ya mean, get up?
-We're from...
-I know where you're from. You guys look the same every place.
-They wanna talk to you.
-About what?
-I don't run the joint. They just told me to bring you in.
-Hey champ!
-Tommy, thanks for coming over.
-You just take it easy, now. You'll do all right. Feelin' Ok?
-I'm Ok.
-Just come by to wish you luck. Need anything?
-No, we're all right. Thanks anyway, Tommy.
-All right. I don't have to hear any more. I think I understand what happened. I understand it was your brother's wife and there was probably a misunderstanding. I'm not sayin' Salvy shouldn't have acted the way he did. But, Joey, you don't raise your hands. You don't do that kind of thing. This time we forget about it but no more after this.
-Yeah, I understand, Tommy.
-Aside from everything else, your family all right?
-Yeah, they're good. They're good, Tommy.
-What is it with you? Can't you talk? You got like a funny attitude. I can't figure you out, Joey. What's with you and the quick answers? You wanna get outa here fast?
-Aw, Tommy, c'mon, it ain't that.
-Look Joey, I wanna tell you something. Your brother ain't gonna get nowhere without us -- nowhere. And I'm tellin' you between the two of us, it's gettin' to the point where it's gettin' to be a real embarrassment to me, a real embarrassment.
-How can he embarrass you?
-He's an embarrassment because Frankie and the other guys are expectin' me to do something about it, and I'm lookin' very bad. I can't deliver a kid from my own neighborhood. Why's he make it so hard on himself? He comes to me, I can make it easier for him.
-Tommy, Jake respects you. He won't even say hello to anybody else -- you know that. But you know when Jake gets set on somethin', Jesus Christ Almighty could get off the fuckin' cross and he ain't gonna talk him out of it. I'm his kid brother. I got no say with Jake on this. He thinks he can buck everybody and make it
-What's up, Colonel?
-What who's been sayin'?
-You were a big favorite in this fight. Then two days ago the odds start jumping all over the place until you're a 12-5 underdog.
-I don't follow no gamblin' Commissioner. I'm just a fighter.
-Now the fight's off the books altogether. Meyer Lansky couldn't get a bet down on this fight. Some people are saying you're going into the tank.
-Believe what you want.
-I want to believe you, LaMotta.
-I'm gonna kill him. That fuckin' jig's gonna wish he never came outa the jungle. You got any money?
-What?
-This looks done.
-It's not done.
-It looks done. I'll take it the way it is.
-Here's your carrots. You're in such a hurry. You can't wait.
-Where you going at this hour?
-What're you, a cop? I'm goin' out -- business.
-You fuckin' worm, if you're going out, I'm going out.
-And where you goin'?
-J.R., glad you could make it.
-You're a good sport, lady.
-I saw you fight Bob Satterfield in '46, Jake. In Chicago. You were great.
-Yeah, I really cleaned up on him.
-Where's your wife, Jake?
-What's wrong?
-Hey, c'mon, what's the matter?
-I ain't ever gonna fight Joe Louis, that's what's the matter.
-That's what I'm sayin'. You shouldn't even think like that. It's crazy.
-I tell you one thing. Ok, I'll never be big enough to fight Louis, but I know Joey, I know...
-You know?
-Yeah. Do me a favor.
-Sure. What is it?
-Hit me in the face.
-You want me to do what?
-You heard me, I said hit me.
-C'mon, Jack. You had a few drinks.
-Go ahead. I ain't drunk. Take your best shot. On the jaw.
-Jack, I got no gloves.
-Harder. Take the towel off.
-Jack! Enough!
-What was that for? I know you can take punches. I can hit you from now to doomsday. What the fuck does that prove?
-Answer me when I talk to you.
-Yeah, yeah. They just wanted to talk to you. So I...
-And that hard-on, Salvy. Who's he think he is? I'm gonna let that fuckin' hard-on come up here and act like a big shot.
-What are you getting so hot about -- Tommy Como told him to come down here...
-Hey, I don't care about Tommy Como. I don't care about Jesus Christ on the fuckin' cross. I gotta give them a percentage of what I make! I'm in here breaking my ass, not them. Don't ever bring them up here again.
-Who's that?
-Whadda you care?
-Whadda ya mean, whadda I care? Who is she? What's a matter? You afraid I'm gonna take her on you?
-No, I'm not afraid. Why? You wanna meet her?
-Yeah --
-Cause I'll go right over there and bring her here.
-Go 'head.
-You sure you wanna meet her? Don't make me go over there, you change your mind and you make me look bad, cause she's really a knockout. She's 15, this kid -- a great piece of ass.
-How do you know? You know her that good?
-No, I see her around the pool. I know her. I know her like that -- not like that.
-I'm tellin' you, she'll be there, I know she'll be there.
-'Cause I wanna catch her alone.
-How you gonna catch anybody alone at a dance?... I don't know if she'll be there alone... She'll probably be there with her girlfriends or something.
-She ever go with them? Like Salvy?
-Nah, she don't go with nobody. She's only 15 years old.
-What does that have to do with it? She don't look 15 to me. I heard somethin' with Salvy. She was with him once or somethin', I think. It was like some blonde. That's the one...
-Probably. You know she talks to everybody, and not just him.
-Yeah, she's nice.
-Ah, some piece of ass, I'm tellin' you.
-You wasn't with her, were you?
-Huh?
-You wasn't with her?
-With her? How?
-You know, like bang her or anything?
-Ah, no, no. I didn't bang her. I know her from around here, that's all. You want to meet her or what?
-I'm tellin' you, she'll be there, I know she'll be there. Dressed up and everything.
-I don't like all those other clowns around. That's all I know.
-Hey, watch your mouth. Don't talk like that. She's still my wife.
-No, but Jake... how much abuse can you take.
-Do you see her yet?
-He fights the toughest guys around that everybody else is afraid to fight...
-They robbed us! Those fuckin' judges -- What the fuck fight were they watching? If I see them on the street, I'll break their heads. Decision Robinson, my fuckin' ass! Those judges give him the decision 'cause he's goin in the army next week! How else could this have happened?... What do you think they gave him the decision for, that's why.
-Whadda I gotta do, Joey? I knocked him down. What did I do wrong? I don't understand.
-You won and was robbed! You didn't do nothin' wrong.
-You want us to wait for you?
-I just weighed myself -- I'm 161. No more deals like this Janiro bullshit. I didn't tell you to do it in the first place.
-Jake, you're the one who said you could get down to 155! What did I do, pull it out of the fuckin' hat?
-Well, sometimes you shouldn't listen to me! Now I don't know if I can make it down to 155. I'm having trouble making 160, and without telling me, you sign me for a fight at 155 pounds, and if I don't make 155, I forfeit $15,000! You're supposed to know what you're doin'. You're supposed to be a manager!
-You want the title shot?
-Say what you're gonna say.
-You want the title shot or not?
-Say what you gotta say. Don't be a smart ass.
-Nah, she would never...
-Didn't you just see her lookin' at him? She told me no, but I don't believe her.
-Excuse me for a minute. Be right back.
-Whatcha doin'?
-I remember the first time I met Vickie... I know there's somethin' up. I know she's doin' somethin', but I can't catch her...
-Maybe she's afraid you're gonna hit her so she can't talk to you the way she wants to.
-What do you mean?
-Try talkin' to her. She's your wife -- ask her what's the matter.
-When I'm away, did you ever notice anythin' funny with her? Tell me the truth.
-Jack, if there was anything funny, I would tell you.
-I want you to keep an eye on her when I'm not here. Understand?
-Sure, I'll keep an eye on her.
-What did Tommy say?
-I got good news, and I got bad news. The good news is you got your shot at the title. The bad news is...
-Stick out your hands, Jake.
-C'mon, Joey.
-See? That's all there was to it.
-What the fuck they want? I took the dive. They want me to fall down too? I don't fall down for nobody. I never went down in my life. Joey, what do I gotta do? Crawl on my hands and knees? I made an asshole of myself in the fuckin' Garden! All the newspaper writers make fun of me. I'm the bum of the
-Except fall down like a normal person.
-Yeah, except fall down. That's right.
-All right, you don't wanna fall down, so now you gotta take a rest. So, you enjoy the suspension. 'Cause there's nothin' you can do about it. Let the Commissioner and the D.A. jerk you around. So you wait.
-Jesus Christ! Seven months! What am I gonna do for seven months? I'm gonna go crazy. How do I keep my strength? By that time I'll be too weak to win the title. And my weight? Forget about it -- I'm gonna blow up like a balloon. I ain't never gonna hold my weight down. Seven months! I don't know...
-I'm gonna order up some stuff. Have a steak.
-I can't eat a steak. If I eat a steak, I'm gonna have trouble making the weigh-in.
-So eat just a little. You gotta eat something.
-Screw you, Jack.
-What? I just said hello. Since when I can't kiss my sister-in-law?
-Ain't a cheek ever good enough for you? I never even kissed Mama on the mouth.
-Well, you're not supposed to kiss your mother on the mouth.
-How's that?
-Answer me somethin'. What happened at the Copa with Salvy when I was out of town?
-When?
-You know, when you gave him a beatin'.
-Nothin'. Salvy was out of line. He was drunk or somethin', I dunno. Anyway, the windup was I gave him a beatin'. Tommy called me down, and we straightened it out. It's all forgotten about.
-Why didn't you tell me about it?
-It didn't have nothin' to do with you.
-Didn't it have nothin' to do with me?
-No, I just told you what happened.
-Who did it have anything to do with... Vickie?
-Jack, no. I just explained the whole thing to you. It was just between me and Salvy, if it had anything to do with you and Vickie, I woulda told you about it.
-Whatever you touched, that's good now.
-Did Salvy fuck Vickie?
-What?
-You're supposed to keep an eye on her for me. I'm askin'...
-I did keep an eye...
-Then why did you give him a beatin' if he didn't do anything? You and him been friends a long time.
-Some things changed between us. Now, he thinks who the fuck he is. He's been passing certain remarks that I don't like.
-Don't bullshit me, Joey. You ain't tellin' me the truth.
-What bullshit? Hey, I'm your brother. You wanna believe me -- you trust me?
-When it comes to her, I don't trust nobody. I'm askin' you somethin'.
-You givin' me that look. I gotta accept your word, but if I find out anythin', I'm gonna kill somebody...
-So, go ahead. Kill everybody. Kill Salvy, kill Vickie, kill Tommy Como, kill me while you're at it. What do I care? You're killing yourself the way you're eating, the way you worry about things you don't have to worry about.
-What do you mean, "you"?
-What?
-What do you mean, "you"?
-I meant, kill everybody. You or me or anybody. You're a big shot. Kill, kill... g'head.
-But you said "you."
-So what?
-Eh, Joey, even you don't know what you meant. You mentioned Salvy, Tommy Como, you -- that means somethin'. Why'd you say them? You coulda said anybody.
-You're worried about this girl, you're gonna let this girl ruin you're life for you... You wanna worry, worry about your fuckin' stomach that you can't bend over -- that you gotta step in the ring in a month.
-Did you ever fuck my wife?
-What?
-I don't mean now. I mean before -- before we met.
-Whadda ya mean?
-Did you ever fuck my wife?
-Whatsa matter with you?
-You're very smart, Joey, very smart. Nobody gives me a straight answer around here. You're givin' me these answers, but you still didn't answer my question. Did you fuck Vickie?
-Was Vickie part of the deal with Tommy? Was my wife part of the deal? Tell me, was that it?
-I'm tellin' you now, when I read this, it better not make me look bad.
-Jake, did I ever make you look bad before?
-Why not? There's nobody else around who wants to fight me; they're all afraid. I don't see why I shouldn't have a shot at the title right now.
-Well, the word is to get a title shot you have to cooperate with the people who control boxing, in New York. And they're saying that you don't cooperate.
-You just fought Sugar Ray two weeks ago and you're training like this right now... Are you afraid Sugar Ray might beat you this time?
-I'm pulling out of next Wednesday's TV bout 'cause I can't make the weight. I'm fighting at light heavyweight, and I still can't make the weight.
-Does that mean...
-It means I'm through with boxing. I'm tired with tryin' to make the weight anymore. I'm sick of thinkin' about weight, weight, weight.
-You sound bitter.
-Ain't she beautiful? Coulda been Mrs. America if I didn't pull her outa the contest. Didn't want her wearing a swimsuit for nobody but me.
-Don't fight anymore! It's a free country, don't fight anymore!
-It ain't worth it, Jake. Get out.
-What time is it?
-Nine o'clock.
-At night?
-Yeah. At night.
-How many pounds I gotta lose?
-Three more, I figure.
-Just give me a chip of ice to put in my mouth. Just a chip of ice.
-I'll give you anything you want, Jake. I think you should come out for a few minutes -- give yourself a break.
-He ain't hurting me, but I can't get him down.
-Joey said you wanted to meet me. Is that right? You wanted to meet me?
-I just wanted to say hello.
-You wanted to say hello, eh? I can't believe it. When did you fall outa heaven? Anyone ever tell you you're the most beautiful one here, princess of the pool. You got a baby face. Look at mine. Whatcha wanna meet me for?
-I don't know. 'Cause you're cute.
-You don't talk very much.
-I ain't ever talked to a movie star before.
-I ain't no movie star. I'm just in high school.
-You go first. Let me watch how to do this.
-That's it. Just grip up a little tighter. That's it. You're gonna be real good at this. How does that feel?
-It feels real good.
-Just keep your eye on the ball.
-Should I hit it?
-I can't find my ball.
-Can you see it?
-No.
-Jake, this is your father's bedroom.
-Jake...
-Are you sure we should be doing this?
-Come over here.
-You said never to touch you before a fight.
-If you let me do it, I'll murder you. Come here.
-You said I couldn't. You've been good for two weeks...
-Take off my pants.
-Jake...
-Now take the rest off.
-Jake, you made me promise not to get you excited.
-I like the gym smell.
-Now, touch me... ...here.
-Joey's right. Janiro's up-and coming, he's good looking...
-What do you mean, "good looking?"
-Well, he's popular. A lotta people like Janiro. You beat him and it only figures they'll wanna see you get a title shot. But, what do I know? I should keep my mouth shut, I should...
-Who asked you?
-But, Jake, I was just...
-Who asked you?
-I was just...
-What're you lookin' at? You lookin' at him?
-No, I'm not. I'm looking at you.
-Don't tell me "No." I saw you lookin' at him. Why, you like him?
-I'm not interested in him.
-You're not interested in him?
-No, I'm not.
-In other words, you're not interested in him but you'd be interested in somebody else, right?
-Jake, c'mon now. Don't start.
-Vickie?... Vickie, you asleep?
-What?
-You asleep?
-Yeah.
-Huh?
-Yeah, what?
-Tell me, you think of anybody else when I'm making love to you?
-Nobody. I love you, remember?
-Then why'd you say that thing about Tony Janiro?
-What did I say?
-That he's got a pretty face.
-I never noticed his face.
-You sure you're not thinking of him right now?
-Positive.
-Hey, you don't say goodbye to him like that.
-What did I do?
-You don't kiss like that. Hello and goodbye, that's all you do.
-All I did...
-You know what I'm talking about. Don't ever make me look bad on the night of my big fight.
-But Jake... I didn't say anything...
-Don't ever do that again. You don't do it!
-What's the matter with you?
-I went out.
-Where you been all day?
-I took the kids to my sister's.
-I called. You weren't there.
-I got bored so I went to the movies.
-What'd you see?
-I went to the movies.
-What'd you see?
-"Father of the Bride."
-What was it about?
-Oh, c'mon. For Christsake, do I have to tell you everything?
-Did you ever go to the Copa when I was away?
-What're you talking about?
-Answer me when I talk to you. What happened that night?
-I am answering...
-Jake, no --
-I didn't do anything wrong. I swear. I just had a few drinks.
-With Salvy, eh?
-Come out of there! Did you fuck Salvy? Answer me. Open this fuckin' door, you fuckin' cunt! Who've you been fuckin'?
-Nobody, I tell you. Jake stop it.
-I'll say anything you want me to say. I fuckled Salvy. I fucked Tommy. I fucked your brother. I fucked everybody! What do you want to hear? I sucked your brother's fuckin' cock!
-You did?
-You're killing him. You're killing him for nothing. Stop it.
-Get the fuck outa here. Whadda you mean nothing'? You stupid bitch!
-You're the fuckin' animal! You ran around with every guy I knew while I was breakin' my ass for you.
-You know, if there's one thing -- I just don't understand you, not one single little bit. You love me?
-Jake, why don't you just try lying down and get some rest.
-I don't know what it is. I dunno, it's the kind of thing that -- the words won't come out.
-Jake --
-What?
-I want to say something to you without you blowing your stack.
-OK. Talk.
-Why don't you just call him up?
-What do I say to him? Call him up on the phone and say, "Joey, I'm sorry about that little trouble we had. How about havin' dinner?" Is that what I say?
-No, not that.
-Then what?
-I miss Joey. I wish Joey was here.
-Why don't you just call him?
-I dunno.
-Tell him how you feel -- you miss him. Tell him you're sorry.
-I'm sorry. I had to work late last night. Slept at the club.
-I'm leaving you Jake.
-Sure, what else is new?
-Open the door, Vickie.
-No. I won't talk to you where you can use your hands on me.
-Aw, c'mon. Don't say that.
-I got a lawyer, Jake. We're getting a divorce. I'm getting custody of the kids.
-Aw, c'mon, Vick --
-Vickie, open up. I need to come in.
-Are you drunk?
-The kids are sleeping.
-I promise I just gotta pick up one thing.
-What are you doing?
-I need ten thousand dollars. My lawyer says if we can spread ten thousand bucks around, we can get the case dropped.
-But they don't have a case against you.
-Are you kiddin'? Did you ever see a 14-year-old testify in court? Did you see the papers? "LaMotta on Vice Rap." Everybody likes a shot at the Champ.
-Jake, be careful! What're you doing to the belt?!
-Don't make no difference no more.
-Can't you get the money from your friends?
-Hi, Tommy. How are you?
-Fuckin' kid! You're the best fuckin' fighter around. Loved what you did to Satterfield. Them "moulan yans" -- forget about it. They're all afraid to fight you.
-C'mon, Tommy --
-How you feelin'? Ok? You feelin' good?
-Never felt better.
-Tony Janiro's gotta watch out, eh?
-He should.
-How's the weight? Ok?
-All right, lemme ask you something. Let's say I was a good friend of yours. And I was telling you I was gonna bet a lot of money on you in this Janiro fight. What would you tell me?
-Salvy, would I steer you wrong? Let's say that's the truck; it's full of cigarettes, right? Now, two o'clock this morning we move the truck from here to there, take the cigarettes out, sell 'em, make some cash.
-Hey but Joey, you're thinking nickels and dimes. The money's with your brother.
-What do you want from my life, Salvy? He's my brother.
-Hey, leave the kids alone.
-I can't convince him. He's got such a thick head, I'd like to crack it open myself. Believe me, my own brother. It's very hard. You don't have to convince me -- I know we should be with Tommy. You talk to him. He don't listen to nobody.
-Talk some sense into him, will ya? You're still his brother. If he ain't gonna listen to you, he ain't gonna listen to nobody!
-All right, I'll try. See you later.
-Tomorrow, at the gym. Don't forget.
-I said, let's go.
-Joey, relax. You're taking this the wrong way. Why don't you sit down and have a drink?
-Excuse me, I'm talking to my sister in-law.
-Excuse me for living.
-What do you think, I'm blind? My brother's breaking his ass in a ring, and you're here with his wife.
-Hey Joey, whadda ya lookin' to die young?
-What're you doin' with Salvy? You shouldn't be here with him. Jake's away killin' himself. Suppose he found out.
-What the hell am I doing wrong? Just because Jake is training, I can't go out? What am I, a goddamn prisoner?
-No, you're his wife.
-I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just trying to have a good time. Do I have to be cooped up in the house all the time?
-It don't look right.
-Well, go ahead, tell Jake. He's gonna kill me anyway. It's a matter of time.
-I'm not gonna tell him nothing; but if he finds out, he will kill you. What's the matter with you? Aren't you happy? You got everything you want.
-You don't sleep with him. I do. I don't get to breathe without tellin' him. He keeps me in a cage. If he thinks I'm lookin' at somebody the wrong way, I get used as a punching bag. He don't trust nobody. If he saw the two of us talking together right now, you'd be in trouble too -- believe me. Look at me,
-Try to understand, Vickie. Jake's got a lotta aggravation. He's been a top contender too long.
-That's right, take his part. You're his brother. He's never gonna be champ. Too many people are against him.
-And you're drinking with them right now.
-This is Doyle's house.
-This is the baby sitter.
-Oh. When are they expected home?
-I'm hired 'til one. They went to dinner and maybe night-clubbing.
-Well, if he calls in, tell him to get in touch with L. B. Jefferies right away. I might have quite a surprise for him.
-Does he have your number, Mr. Jefferies?
-He has it. Thank you.
-Indo-China -- Jeff predicted it would go sky-high.
-From the looks of Davidson's cable, it might even go higher than that. And we haven't even got a camera over there.
-This could go off in a month -- or an hour.
-I'll pull somebody out of Japan.
-Bryce, the only man for this job is sitting right here in town. Get me L. B. Jefferies.
-Jefferies?
-Name me a better photographer.
-But his leg!
-It was in her favorite handbag -- And, Mr. Doyle, that can lead to only one conclusion.
-Like disposing of their wives?
-Of course, it's normal for a man to tie his trunk up with a heavy rope.
-Mrs. -- Thorwald's -- clothes. -- Clean -- carefully packed -- not too stylish -- but presentable.
-I would say that is looked as if she wasn't coming back.
-You didn't see the killing, or the body? How do you know there was a murder?
-Because everything that man's done has been suspicious. Trips at night in the rain, saws, knives, trunks with rope, and a wife that isn't there any more.
-I'll admit it all has a mysterious sound -- but is could mean a number of different things. Murder is the least likely.
-It's too stupid and obvious a way to murder -- in full view of fifty windows -- and then sit over there -- -- smoking a cigar -- waiting for the police to pick him up.
-Well, officer -- do your duty.
-You've got a lot to lean about homicide, Jeff. Morons have committed murder so shrewdly that it took a hundred trained police minds to catch them. That salesman wouldn't just knock off his wife after dinner, toss her in a trunk and put her in storage.
-I'll bet it's been done.
-Almost everything's been done -- under panic. But this is a thousand to one shot. That man's still sitting around his apartment; he isn't panicked.
-You think I made all this up?
-I think you saw something -- that probably has a very simple explanation.
-For instance?
-His wife took a trip.
-She -- was -- an -- invalid!
-You told me. I've got to run, Jeff.
-I -- uh -- won't report it to the Department. Let me poke into a little on my own. No point in you getting any ridiculous publicity.
-Thanks.
-We know the wife is gone. I'll see if I can find out where.
-By the way what happened to your leg?
-He has a six months lease, and has used up a little over five and a half months of it. Quiet. Drinks, but not to drunkenness. Pays his bill promptly, with money earned as a consume jewelry salesman -- wholesale. Keeps to himself, and none of the neighbors got close to him, or his wife.
-I think they missed their chance with her.
-She never left the apartment --
-Then where is she -- in the ice box?
--- until yesterday morning.
-What time?
-I think that's about the time I fell asleep.
-Feel a little foolish?
-Who said they left then?
-Who left -- where?
-The building superintendent, and two tenants. Flat statements -- no hesitation. And they all jibed to the letter. The Thorwalds were leaving for the railroad station.
-Now how could anybody guess that? They had, perhaps, signs on their luggage, "Grand Central Or Bust!"?
-The superintendent met Thorwald coming back. He said Thorwald told him he had just put his wife on the train for the country.
-A very convenient guy -- this superintendent. Have you checked his bank deposits lately?
-Jeff -- huh?
-Well -- what good is his information?!! It's a second-hand version of an unsupported statement by the murderer himself -- Thorwald! Anybody actually see the wife get on the train?
-I hate to remind you -- but this all started because you said she was murdered. Now did anyone, including you, actually see her murdered?
-Doyle -- are you interested in solving a case, or making me look foolish?
-If possible -- both.
-Well then do a good job of it! Get over there, and search Thorwald's apartment! It must be knee-deep in evidence.
-I can't do that.
-I mean when he goes out for a paper, or a drink, or something. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.
-I can't do it even if he's gone.
-What's the matter? Does he have a courtesy card from the police department?
-Now don't get me mad! Even a detective can't walk in anybody's apartment and search it. If I were ever caught in there, I'd lose my badge inside of ten minutes!
-Just make sure you're not caught. If you find something, you've got a murderer and nobody will care about a couple of house rules. If you find nothing -- he's clear.
-At the risk of sounding stuffy, Jeff -- I'll remind you of the Constitution, and the phrase "search warrant" issued by a judge who knows the Bill of Rights verbatim. He must ask for evidence.
-Give him evidence.
-I can hear myself starting out. "Your Honor -- I have a friend who's an amateur sleuth, an one night, after a heavy supper --" He'd throw the New York State Penal Code right in my face. -- And it's six volumes.
-By morning there might not be anything left to find in his apartment.
-A detective's nightmare.
-What do you need before you can search -- bloody footsteps leading up to the door?
-One thing I don't need is heckling! You called and asked me for help -- and now you're acting like a taxpayer!
-How did we ever stand each other in that same plane for three years?
-You know, every day for three years I asked myself that same question?
-Ever get an answer?
-Forget the story -- find the trunk. Mrs. Thorwald's in it!
-Is -- is Anna -- who I think it is?
-Enough to scare me that you wouldn't get here in time, and we'd lose him.
-You think he's getting out of here?
-Jewelry?
-He has his wife's jewelry hidden in among his clothes over there.
-That wasn't Mrs. Thorwald who left with him yesterday morning?
-Did you ever own a saw?
-Well, in the garage, back home, we --
-But I'm not a killer!
-If I'd been careful piloting that reconnaissance plane, you wouldn't have taken the kind of pictures that got you a medal, a big job, fame, money --
-Oh -- that phone call! I gave them your number -- hope you don't mind.
-That depends on who "they" were.
-Jefferies.
-This is Doyle, Jeff.
-Tom, I've got something real big for you.
-Look Jeff, don't louse up my night with another man killer stuffing a grisly trunk that turns out to be --
-Listen to me! Lisa's been arrested.
-Your Lisa?
-My Lisa. She went into Thorwald's apartment, and he came back. The only way I could get her out was to call the police.
-I told you that --
-I know what you told me! She went in to get evidence, and she came out with it.
-Like what?
-Like Mrs. Thorwald's wedding ring. If that woman were still alive, she'd be wearing it.
-A possibility.
-A fact! Last night he killed a dog for pawing in his garden. Why? Because he had something buried in there. Something a dog could scent.
-Like an old hambone?
-I don't know what pet name Thorwald had for his wife. And that night he went out half a dozen times with the metal suitcase. He wasn't taking his possessions, because they're up in his apartment now!
-You think perhaps it was "old hambone?"
-In sections! And one other thing, doubting Tom -- it just occurred to me that all the calls Thorwald made were long distance! If he called his wife the day she left -- after she arrived in Merritsville -- why did she need to send him a postcard saying she'd arrived?
-Where'd they take Lisa?
-Precinct Six. I sent a friend over with bail money.
-Just don't dally. Thorwald knows he's being watched. He won't hang around long.
-Jefferies.
-Congratulations, Jeff.
-For what?
-For getting rid of that cast.
-This is Wednesday.
-Gunnison -- how did you get to be such a big editor -- with such a small memory?
-Wrong day?
-Wrong week. Next Wednesday I emerge from this plaster cocoon.
-That's too bad, Jeff. Well, I guess I can't be lucky every day. Forget I called.
-Where?
-Indo-China. Got a code tip from the bureau chief this morning. The place is about to go up in smoke.
-Didn't I tell you! Didn't I tell you it was the next place to watch?
-You did.
-Okay. When do I leave? Half-hour? An hour?
-With that cast on -- you don't.
-Stop sounding stuffy. I'll take pictures from a jeep. From a water buffalo if necessary.
-You're too valuable to the magazine for us to play around with. I'll send Morgan or Lambert.
-Swell. I get myself half-killed for you -- and you reward me by stealing my assignments.
-I didn't ask you to stand in the middle of that automobile race track.
-You asked for something dramatically different! You got it!
-So did you. Goodbye, Jeff.
-Read some good books.
-I've been taking pictures so long I don't know how to read anymore.
-I'll send you some comic books.
-Listen -- if you don't pull me out of this swamp of boredom -- I'll do something drastic.
-Like what?
-I'll -- I'll get married. Then I'll never be able to go anywhere.
-It's about time you got married -- before you turn into a lonesome and bitter old man.
-Can you see me -- rushing home to a hot apartment every night to listen to the automatic laundry, the electric dishwasher, the garbage disposal and a nagging wife.
-Yeah? Maybe in the high rent districts they discuss -- but in my neighborhood, they still nag.
-Well -- you know best. Call you later, Jeff.
-Hello.
-Gunnison?
-Yeah. Is that you, Jeff?
-It's me.
-Something wrong?
-The word is "everything." Now what time does my plane leave Tuesday?
-Jeff --
-I don't care where it goes -- just as long as I'm on it.
-Okay. Indo-China. Tuesday. We'll pick you up.
-That's more like it. Goodnight, old buddy.
-Hello.
-Well -- did you get it, Thorwald?
-Who are you?
-I'll give you a chance to find out. Meet me in the bar at the Brevoort -- and do it right away.
-Why should I?
-For a little business meeting -- to settle the estate of your late wife.
-I don't know what you mean.
-Now stop wasting time, Thorwald, or I'll hang up and call the police.
-I only have a hundred dollars or so.
-Can you get me that ring back?
-No.
-I can't. The police have it by now.
-Readers' Digest, April, 1939.
-I predicted it.
-Stella -- in economics, a kidney ailment has no relationship to the stock market. Absolutely none.
-Right now I'd even welcome trouble.
-You've got a hormone deficiency.
-How can you tell that from a thermometer!
-I knew it!
-Don't you ever heat that stuff up.
-Gives your circulation something to fight. What kind of trouble?
-Lisa Fremont.
-You must be kidding. A beautiful young woman, and you a reasonably healthy specimen of manhood.
-She expects me to marry her.
-That's normal.
-I don't want to.
-That's abnormal.
-I'm not ready for marriage.
-Nonsense. A man is always ready for marriage -- with the right girl. And Lisa Fremont is the right girl for any man with half a brain, who can get one eye open.
-Behind every ridiculous statement is always hidden the true cause. What is it? You have a fight?
-No.
-Her father loading up the shotgun?
-Stella!
-It's happened before, you know! Some of the world's happiest marriage have started 'under the gun' you might say.
-She's just not the girl for me.
-She's only perfect.
-Too perfect. Too beautiful, too talented, too sophisticated, too everything -- but what I want.
-It's very simple. She belongs in that rarefied atmosphere of Park Avenue, expensive restaurants, and literary cocktail parties.
-People with sense can belong wherever they're put.
-You're never going to marry?
-The only honest thing to do is call it off. Let her look for somebody else.
-I can just hear you now. "Get out of here you perfect, wonderful woman! You're too good for me!"
-Look, Mr. Jefferies. I'm not educated. I'm not even sophisticated. But I can tell you this -- when a man and a woman see each other, and like each other -- they should come together -- wham like two taxies on Broadway. Not sit around studying each other like specimens in at bottle.
-There's an intelligent way to approach marriage.
-We've progressed emotionally in --
-Baloney! Once it was see somebody, get excited, get married -- Now, it's read books, fence with four syllable words, psychoanalyze each other until you can't tell a petting party from a civil service exam
-People have different emotional levels that --
-When I married Myles, we were both maladjusted misfits. We still are. And we've loved every minute of it.
-Okay -- but I'm going to spread some common sense on the bread. Lisa Fremont's loaded to her fingertips with love for you. I'll give you two words of advice. Marry her.
-The insurance Company would be a lot happier if you slept in your bed, not the wheelchair.
-How did you know!
-Eyes bloodshot. Must have been staring out the window for hours.
-I was.
-What'll you do if one of them catches you?
-Keep your mind off her.
-She's real eat, drink and be merry girl.
-And she'll end up fat, alcoholic and miserable.
-Speaking of misery, Miss Lonely Hearts drank herself to sleep again. Alone.
-Poor girl. Someday she'll find her happiness.
-And some man will lose his.
-Isn't there anyone in the neighborhood who might cast an eye in her direction?
-Well, the salesman could be available soon.
-He and his wife splitting up?
-It's hard to figure. He went out several time last night, in the rain carrying his sample case.
-Isn't he a salesman?
-Now what could he sell at three in the morning?
-Flashlights. Luminous dials for watches. House numbers that light up.
-His personal effects. He's probably running away -- the coward.
-Sometimes it's worse to stay than it is to run.
-What about this morning? Any developments?
-No. The shades are still drawn in their apartment.
-A Federal offense.
-I'm not shy. I've been looked at before.
-Goodbye, Mr. Jefferies. I'll see you tomorrow.
-Stella, I -- I can't tell you what a welcome sight this is. No wonder your husband's still in love with you.
-Police?
-Huh?
-You called the police?
-I'm just going to get the name of their truck!
-Mrs. Thorwald?
-You mean the one the dog was sniffing around?
-There's a dip at this end. And since when do flowers grow shorter in two weeks?
-You shouldn't have let her do that! If he ever --
-Thank heaven that's over!
-I wonder.
-What?
-Miss Lonely Hearts just laid out something that looks like sodium trieckonal capsules.
-You can tell that from here?
-I handled enough of those red pills to put everybody in New Jersey asleep for the winter.
-Would four of them -- ?
-No -- but it makes the rest easy to take. And she's reading the Bible.
-You know? You might not be too bad a bargain for Lisa after all.
-What are you two talking about?
-Got a shovel?
-No.
-There's probably one in the basement.
-You know, Miss Fremont -- he might just have something there.
-What's she trying to do? Why doesn't she turn him in?
-Smart girl.
-Smart? She'll be arrested!
-When you took your first snapshot -- did you ever think it would bring you to this?
-Stella -- how long do you think he'll stay there?
-What do you need money for?
-One hundred and twenty-seven.
-How much do you think you'll need?
-Ten here.
-Thirty-three here. Totals one-ninety. Not enough.
-What about the rest?
-Hello.
-Mrs. Doyle?
-Yes.
-Jeff again. Has Tom come in yet?
-Not yet, Jeff.
-You haven't even heard from him?
-It is something really important, Jeff?
-I'm afraid it is, Tess.
-I'll have him call the moment I hear from him.
-Tell him not to waste time calling. To get over here soon as he can. I think Thorwald's pulling out tonight.
-Who's Thorwald?
-He knows. Don't worry, Tess. It's a man.
-Goodnight, you idiot.
-How's your leg?
-Mmmm -- hurts a little.
-And your stomach?
-Empty as a football.
-And you love life?
-Not too active.
-Anything else bothering you?
-The Lisa Fremont who never wears the same dress twice?
-Depends on the quote. Let's see -- there's the plane tickets over, import duties, hidden taxes, profit markups --
--- A steal at eleven hundred dollars.
-That dress should be listed on the stock exchange.
-We sell a dozen a day in this price range.
-Something big going on somewhere?
-Going on right here. It's a big night.
-It's opening night of the last depressing week of L. B. Jefferies in a cast.
-Picked it up in Shanghai -- which has also seen better days.
-It's cracked -- and you never use it. And it's too ornate. I'm sending up a plain, flat silver one -- with just your initials engraved.
-Now that's no way to spend your hard- earned money!
-What would you think of starting off with dinner at the "21"?
-Big enough?
-I couldn't think of anything more boring and tiresome than what you've been through. And the last week must be the hardest.
-Yeah -- I want to get this thing off and get moving.
-What a day I've had!
-Tired?
-Not a bit. I was all morning in a sales meeting. Then over to the Waldorf for a quick drink with Madame Dufresne -- just over from Paris. With some spy reports. Back to the "21" for lunch with the Harper's Bazaar people -- that's when I ordered dinner. Then two Fall showings -- twenty blocks apart. Then I had to have a cocktail
-Tell me -- what was Slim Hayward wearing?
-You can't buy that kind of publicity.
-That's good news.
-Someday you might want to open up your own studio here.
-Jeff -- isn't it time you came home? You could pick your assignment.
-I wish there was one I wanted.
-Make the one you want.
-You mean leave the magazine?
-Yes.
-For what?
-Don't laugh. -- I could do it!
-That's what I'm afraid of. Could you see me -- driving down to the fashion salon in a jeep -- wearing combat boots and a three day beard?
-I could see you looking handsome and successful in a dark blue flannel suit.
-That's what is know as "manless melancholia."
-Miss Lonely Hearts. At least that's something you'll never have to worry about.
-Oh? You can see my apartment all the way up on 63rd street?
-Well, she picked the most prosperous looking one.
-She's not in love with him -- or any of them.
-How can you tell that -- from here?
-Oh... some songwriter. In the studio apartment. Lives alone. Probably had an unhappy marriage.
-Almost as if it were being written especially for us.
-If you're saying all this just because you don't want to tell me the truth, because you're hiding something from me, then maybe I can understand --
-There's nothing I'm hiding. It's just that --
-It doesn't make sense to me. What's so different about it here from over there, or any place you go, that one person couldn't live in both places just as easily?
-Some people can. Now if you'll let me explain --
-What is it but traveling from one place to another, taking pictures? It's just like being a tourist on an endless vacation.
-All right. That's your opinion. You're entitled to it, but --
-Lisa, simmer down -- will you?
-You can't fit in here -- I can't fit in there. According to you, people should be born, live an die on the same --
-Did you ever eat fish heads and rice?
-Of course not.
-Oh, I do that all the time. Whenever I have a few minutes after lunch.
-Those high heels would be a lot of use in the jungle -- and those nylons and six-ounce lingerie --
-Three.
-Huh? Try and find a raincoat in Brazil. Even when it isn't raining Lisa, on this job you carry one suitcase. Your home is the available transportation. You sleep rarely, bathe even less, and sometime the food you even look at when they were alive!
-Jeff, you don't have to be deliberately repulsive just to impress me I'm wrong.
-You don't think either one of us could ever change?
-And it's deflating to find out that the only way I can be part of it -- is to take out a subscription to your magazine. I guess I'm not the girl I thought I was.
-There's nothing wrong with you, Lisa. You have the town in the palm of your hand.
-Not quite -- it seems. Goodbye, Jeff.
-You mean "goodnight."
-Can't we just sort of keep things status quo?
-I'm not exactly on the other side of the room.
-Don't you ever have any problems?
-I have one now.
-So do I.
-Tell me about it.
-Why would a man leave his apartment three times, on a rainy night, with a suitcase? And come back three times?
-He likes the way his wife welcomes him home.
-Not that salesman's wife. And why didn't he go to work today?
-Homework. It's more interesting.
-What's interesting about a butcher's knife and a small saw wrapped up in a newspaper?
-Nothing, thank heaven.
-Why hasn't he gone into his wife's bedroom all day?
-I wouldn't dare answer that.
-What do you think?
-Jeff -- if you could only see yourself.
-Now, Lisa --
-Sitting around, looking out a window to kill time, is one thing -- but doing it the way you are -- -- with, with binoculars, and with wild opinions about every little movement you see -- is, is diseased!
-Do you think I consider this recreation?
-I don't know what you consider it -- but if you don't stop it, I'm getting out of here.
-You'd better before you catch the disease!
-What is it you're looking for?
-I want to find out what's wrong with the salesman's wife. Does that make me sound like a madman?
-What makes you think something's wrong with her?
-A lot of things. She's an invalid who needs constant care -- and yet the husband nor anyone else has been in there all day.
-Maybe she died.
-Where's the doctor -- the undertakers?
-Lisa, please!
-There's nothing to see.
-There is -- I've seen things through that window! Bickering, family fights, mysterious trips at night, knives, saws, rope -- and since last evening, not a sight or sound of his wife! Now you tell me where she is and what she's doing!
-Maybe he's leaving his wife. I don't know, and I don't care. Lots of people have saws, knives and ropes around their houses. Lots of men don't speak to their wives all day. Lots of wives nag, and men hate them, and trouble starts -- but very, very, very few of them end up in murder -- if that's what you're thinking.
-It's pretty hard to stay away from that word isn't is?
-You could see all the things he did, couldn't you?
-What are you getting at?
-You could see that he did because he had the shades in his apartment up, and walked along the corridor, and the streets and the backyard?
-Yeah.
-Jeff, do you think a murderer would let you see all that? That he shouldn't keep his shades down and hide behind them?
-That's where he's being clever. Acting nonchalant.
-No comment.
-Don't you see how silly you're being?
-The name on the second floor rear mailbox reads Mr. And Mrs. Lars, that's L-A-R-S, Lars Thorwald.
-What's the apartment house number?
-Okay, chief. What's my next assignment.
-To get on home.
-It doesn't seem to be in any hurry.
-That alligator bag his wife had on the bedpost --
-What about it?
-He had it hidden in the dresser! Well, at least it was in there. He took it out, went to the phone and called somebody long distance. -- His wife's jewelry was in the handbag. And something about it worried him. He was asking somebody advice over the phone.
-Someone not his wife?
-I wonder where he's going now?
-I don't know.
-Suppose he doesn't come back again?
-Well, I guess it's safe to put on some lights now.
-All day long I've tried to keep my mind on work.
-Thinking about Thorwald?
-And you, and you friend Doyle -- Did you hear from him again -- since he left?
-Something on your mind, Lisa?
-It doesn't make sense to me.
-What doesn't?
-Women aren't that unpredictable.
-A woman has a favorite handbag -- it always hangs on her bedpost where she can get at it. Then she takes a trip and leaves it behind. Why?
-But only her husband would know that. And the jewelry! Women don't keep all their jewelry in a purse, all tangled, getting scratched and twisted up.
-Do they hide it in their husband's clothes?
-They do not! And they don't leave it behind them. A woman going anywhere but the hospital would always take makeup, perfume and jewelry.
-Inside stuff?
-Basic equipment. You don't leave it behind in your husband's drawer in your favorite handbag.
-I'm with you, sweetie, but Detective Thomas J. Doyle has a pat answer for that.
-That Mrs. Thorwald left at six ayem yesterday with her husband?
-That's what the witnesses told him.
-Well, I have a pat rebuttal for Mr. Doyle -- that couldn't be Mrs. Thorwald -- or I don't know women.
-Still -- those witnesses.
-I'd like to see your friend's face when we tell him. He doesn't sound like much of a detective.
-Don't be too hard on him. He's a steady worker. I wish he'd get there, though.
-We have all -- what?
-Night. I'm going to stay with you.
-I have the whole weekend off.
-Say anything else, and I'll stay tomorrow night too.
-You said I'd have to live out of one suitcase I'll bet yours isn't this small?
-That's a suitcase?
-I'll trade you -- my feminine intuition for a bed for the night.
-From his landlord -- once a month.
-It's utterly beautiful. I wish I could be creative.
-You are. You have a talent for creating difficult situations.
-I do?
-Surprise -- is the most important element of attack. And beside, you're not up on your private eye literature. When they're in trouble, it's always their Girl Friday who gets them out of it.
-The same girl who keeps him out of the clutches of seductive show girls, and over-passionate daughters of the rich.
-The same.
-But he never ends up marrying her. Strange.
-Weird. Why don't I slip into something comfortable?
-You mean -- like the kitchen? And make us some coffee?
-I hate funny exit lines.
-Do you suppose it's ethical to watch a man with binoculars, and a long- focus lens -- until you can see the freckles on the back of his neck, and almost read his mail -- do you suppose it's ethical even if you prove he didn't commit a crime?
-I'm not much on rear window ethics.
-Of course, they have the same chance. They can look at me like a bug under glass, if they want to.
-Jeff -- if anybody walked in here, I don't think they'd believe what they see.
-Huh?
-Whatever happened to that old saying "Love Thy Neighbor."
-Did Mr. Doyle think I stole this case.
-I'll rephrase the question.
-Do you like it?
-For a minute, Doyle almost had me convinced I was wrong.
-But you're not?
-Do you think this was worth waiting all day to see?
-Is he cleaning house?
-Well?
-It's just a picture of the backyard, that's all.
-Something's in there. Those flowers have been taken up, and put back again.
-Wasn't that close?
-Suppose Mrs. Thorwald's wedding ring was among the jewelry he has in the handbag. During that phone conversation he held up three rings -- one with a diamond -- one with a big stone of some kind -- and one plain gold band.
-Jeff, if you're squeamish, just don't look.
-What for?
-I'll try to give you at least fifteen minutes.
-How?
-Chelsea 2-7099. We scared him once. Maybe we can scare him again. I'm using that word "we" a little too freely, I guess. I don't take any of the chances.
-Get an ambulance. Don't move. Try to lie still.
-Lisa -- I -- I -- can't tell you how scared I was that you -- you might --
-Shut up. I'm all right.
-A man is assaulting a woman at one two five west ninth street. Second floor rear. Make it fast.
-Your name?
-L. B. Jefferies.
-Phone number?
-Chelsea 2-5598.
-Steady Marlon!
-What's that?
-A new disease.
-Friend of yours?
-I'm glad they let you out.
-Nobody chickened.
-I heard about it. You're lucky he lived.
-Buzzie--we better get out of here.
-Feel okay?
-What's happening?
-You know something?
-What?
-Hey, he's real abstract and different.
-Meaning me?
-What?
-I thought only punks fought with knives.
-Machismo?
-You satisfied or you want more?
-Where can we meet?
-Just him.
-What you say your name was?
-Jim Stark.
-Buzz Gundersen.
-Hi.
-Sure. It's fine.
-This is the edge, boy. This is the end.
-Yeah.
-I like you, you know?
-Buzz? What are we doing this for?
-We heard firing. He get anybody? You alone?
-We got a cookaboo inside. He wounded some kid earlier.
-How'd he get in?
-Smashed the front door.
-Any other entrance?
-What's he going to pull--
-Nothing, Crunch. They picked him up like the rest of--
-You see any cops?
-No--
-He's going to cheese, I tell you. Nobody arrested him!
-I think I should go home.
-No. We're going to bring him down.
-Crunch--my father's--You going to kill him?
-What time is it?
-Hang loose. We got all night.
-That maid saw us. She could identify us too.
-You still want to go home, Moose?
-No.
-Tell him why we moved here.
-Hold it, Jim.
-You can't protect me.
-You mind if I try? You have to slam the door in my face? I try to get to him--what happens? Don't I give you everything you want? A bicycle--you get a bicycle. A car--
-You buy me many things. Thank you.
-Mother--
-You make any sandwiches?
-So long, young fella. Knock 'em dead, like your old man used to!
-Sure-- You know something? I have a feeling we're going to stay here.
-You thought I was Mom?
-Yeah!
-It's just this get-up. The girl's out and I was bringing Mom's supper.
-And you dropped it?
-Yeah! Shh!
-That's funny!
-You awake?
-Yes.
-Listen--I took a steak out of the freezer. I thought we could have a real old-fashioned stag party--just the two of us, what do you say?
-Hey--I want to ask you something.
-Shoot, Jimbo.
-Suppose you knew that you had to do something very dangerous--where you have to prove something you need to know--a question of honor. Would you do it?
-Is there some kind of trick answer?
-What would you do, Dad?
-Blood.
-How'd that happen! What kind of trouble you in?
-The kind we've been talking about. Can you answer me now?
-Listen--nobody should make a snap decision--This isn't something you just--we ought to consider all the pros and cons--
-We don't have time.
-What can you do when you have to be a man?
-Well, now--
-Just give me a direct answer! You going to stop me from going, Dad?
-You know I never stop you from anything. Believe me--you're at a wonderful age. In ten years you'll look back on this and wish you were a kid again.
-Ten years? Now, Dad--I need an answer now!
-Go ahead.
-I'm in terrible trouble.--You know that big high bluff near Miller- town Junction?
-Sure--there was a bad accident there. They showed the pictures on T.V.
-Will you let him tell it!
-Well, just get it off your chest, son.
-That's not what I mean. I've never done anything right. I've been going around with my head in a sling for years...I don't want to drag you into this but I can't help it. I don't think I can prove anything by going around pretending I'm tough any more, so maybe you look like one thing but you still feel like another.
-You're absolutely right!
-Are you listening to me? You're involved in this! I want to go to the police and tell them I was mixed up in this thing tonight?
-I don't think so--
-Except yourself!
-Will you wait a minute?
-You know you did wrong. That's the main thing, isn't it?
-You'll learn as you get a little older, Jim.
-Son--this is all happening so fast--
-He depended on me.
-I don't see what's so bad about taking a little drink.
-You don't?
-No. I definitely don't. I did the sa--
-He's a minor, Mr. Stark, and it looks to me like he had more than a little drink.
-Whoa! Whoa! I know you're a little upset but--
-Sorry.
-Excuse us a minute?
-Luck, Jim. Don't forget.
-Have some cigars.
-No thanks, I don't smoke.
-Go on--Give 'em to your friends.
-You sure?
-I guess I cut pretty loose in my day too.
-Really, Frank? When was that?
-Can't you answer? What's the matter with you anyhow?
-He's just loaded, honey.
-I was talking to Jim.
-Was it because we went to that party? You know what kind of drunken brawls those parties turn into-- it's no place for kids.
-I guess when I nearly died giving birth to you--that shows how much I don't care!
-No!
-Look Jim. Far be it from me to tell you what to do, but there's--
-Are you going to preach now? Are we going to have a sermon?
-I'm just explaining what you mean! You can't be an idealist all your life! Nobody thanks you for sticking your neck out!
-Frank? I'm frightened.
-What's that pounding?
-I don't know. First I thought it was Jim but--
-He's home. I heard the car.
-Are you going down there?
-See? It stopped.
-Who's there? Anyone there?
-Is he there?
-Frank!
-John Crawford?
-Yes, sir.
-She keep it to protect herself, sir. She scared without a man in the house.
-They not together, sir. We don't see him in a long time now.
-Oh, Mrs. Crawford don't believe in them!
-Do you know why you shot those puppies, John? Is that what they call you or do you have a nickname?
-Can you tell me why you killed the puppies, Plato?
-No, sir. I just went next door to look at them like I always do. They were nursing on their mother and I did it. I guess I'm just no good?
-What do you think's going to happen, you do things like that?
-I don't know. End up in the electric chair?
-Where did you get the gun?
-You know if the boy ever talked to a psychiatrist?
-Excuse me--but--You know where I can find--I mean I don't remember his last name--
-I think his first name's Ray--I have to see him. It's very important.
-He's not here. He's not at Juvenile Hall. I don't know where he is. He's out on a call and he'll be out all night. How old are you?
-My parents know I'm out. They know I'm here.
-Come back tomorrow.
-I'll wait for him.
-Hi.
-Hi there.
-You remember me?
-No. I don't think so--
-Boy!
-What?
-You shouldn't monkey with him.
-What?
-He's a wheel. So's she. It's hard to make friends with them.
-What's your name!
-Jim. What's yours?
-Listen, I told you not to fool with them. Now they're waiting for you.
-I know. That's why I came back.
-You scared?
-I just don't want trouble.
-He has a knife.
-I saw it. Gee, look at that thing swing, will you? Do you think it never stops?
-No. It's perpetual motion.
-I'm here.
-Jim--Do you think when the end of the world comes it'll be at night?
-Are you really going to meet them?
-Who knows. Plato?
-What?
-How'd you get here?
-I hitched.
-Boy, I bet you'd go to a hanging.
-My personality's showing again. Should I leave?
-I got to go in. You better get home too. Hey--what?
-Why don't you come home with me? I mean nobody's home at my house--and I'm not tired, are you? I don't have many--people I can talk to.
-Who has?
-If you want to come we could talk and then in the morning we could have breakfast like my dad used to-- Gee...if you could only have been my father...we could...
-Hey...you flipped--or something? You better take off...
-O.K. G'night. I got to pick up my scooter. See you tomorrow.
-Jim!
-Who's that!
-It's me!
-How'd you find me? What's happening?
-They're looking for you!--
-Yeah?
-Everybody! Crunch and Goon and everybody! I think they're going to kill you.
-We know.
-They think you told the police on them. They--who's in there?
-Judy.
-Hey where'd you go?
-I'm here. Shut up.
-Come out come out wherever you are!
-Shut up. Are you nuts?
-We're safe here. I hope. What do you think?
-Isn't it crazy?
-Nobody talks to children! They just tell them one thing and mean another.
-It's wonderful that you understand so well--and so young too! You know the most wonderful feature about the nursery?
-What?
-There's only one key.
-We'll take it!
-Let's see how long we can stay under.
-Man, you're schizoid!
-Isn't he schizoid?
-Haven't you noticed your personality splitting?
-How do you know so much about this junk, Plato?
-I came here before.
-When was that?
-When I was here? When I ran away. I used to run away a lot but they always took me back.
-Who?
-Mom and Dad. I used to be in my crib and I'd listen to them fight.
-What you run out on me for! What you leave me alone for?
-I don't want you for my father!
-You crazy nut! You crazy, crazy nut!
-Plato?
-I'm here.
-Boy, I'm blind as a bat! You got a match? I'm going to break my neck in here. Where are you?
-I've got a gun.
-That's swell. How are you?
-You think the end of the world will come at nighttime, Jim?
-No. At dawn.
-Why?
-I just have a feeling. Where are you?
-Here.
-I'm not going to hurt you. PLATO Why did you run out on me?
-We didn't run out. We were coming right back.
-You sure?
-No.
-Can I keep it?
-You want to give me your gun now, Plato?
-My gun?
-In your pocket. Give it to me.
-I need it.
-You promised to give it back.
-Friends never break promises, do they? Okay. Here. Now listen. There are a lot of people outside and they all want you to be safe. You understand that? They said I could come in and bring you out.
-Why?
-They like you. Okay?
-Who's that?
-Just a guard.
-I shot at one of them.
-Those aren't my friends. Make them go away.
-Plato!
-What?
-Stop tearing me apart! You say one thing and he says another and then everybody changes back--
-I'm sorry.
-Sit down and eat--you'll be late.
-'Bye, Mom.
-What happened, darling. We were so worried. I was going to take a sleeping pill, but I wouldn't till I knew you were home.
-How!
-It doesn't matter how. I was driving a stolen car--
-Do you enjoy doing this to me or what--
-Mom--I'm not--
-I told you Dad, it was a question of honor. They called me chicken-- you know, chicken! I had to go or I would never have been able to face any of those kids again. So I got in one of these cars and a boy called Buzz got in the other. We had to drive fast and jump before the cars went over
-Good Lord!
-What about the other boys--Do you think they'll go to the police?
-What's that got to do with it?
-No! I don't want you to go to the police! There were other people and why should you be the only one involved!
-He's not saying that! He's saying don't volunteer!
-Well, it doesn't matter anyhow-- because we're moving.
-No! You're not tearing me loose any more.
-Do I have to spell it out?
-Jimmy, you're very young--and a foolish decision now could wreck your whole life.
-Someone should put poison in her epsom salts.
-Get lost.
-Hang loose, boy. I'm warning you.
-Wash up and go home.
-Too bad you didn't connect. You could have gone to Juvenile Hall. That's what you want, isn't it?
-No.
-Sure it is. You want to bug us till we have to lock you up. Why?
-Leave me alone.
-No.
-I don't know why--!
-Go on--don't give me that. Someone giving you hard looks?
-You feel like you want to blow your wheels right now?
-All the time! I don't know what gets into me--but I keep looking for trouble and I always--I swear you better lock me up. I'm going to smash somebody--I know it.
-That why you moved from the last town? 'Cause you were in trouble? You can talk about it if you want to--I know about it anyway. Routine check.
-And they think they are protecting my by moving.
-You were getting a good start in the wrong direction back there. Why did you do it?
-He called me chicken.
-And your folks didn't understand?
-They never do.
-So then you moved?
-They think I'll make friends if we move. Just move and everything'll be roses and sunshine.
-Things pretty tough for you at home?
-What a zoo!
-What?
-A zoo. He always wants to be my pal, you know? But how can I give him anything when he's--I mean I love him and I don't want to hurt him--but I don't know what to do anymore except maybe die.
-Pretty mixed up?
-If he could--
-"If he could" what? You mean your father?
-I mean if he had the guts to knock Mom cold once I bet she'd be happy and I bet she'd stop picking. They make mush out of him. Just mush. One thing I know is I never want to be like him.
-Chicken?
-How can anyone grow up in this circus?
-You got me, Jim--but they do. Want some water?
-Boy--if I had one day when I didn't have to be all confused and ashamed of everything--or I felt I belonged some place.
-Here. Look, will you do something for me? If the pot starts boiling again, will you come and see me before you get yourself in a jam? Even if you just want to talk--come in and shoot the breeze. It's easier sometimes than talking to your folks.
-Okay--
-Any time--day or night. You calmed down enough to go back now?
-Hey! That's enough static out of you.
-Want me to imitate a stupid cop?
-Cut it out now. I'm warning you.
-Assault with a deadly weapon.
-Plato!
-Hi. I saw you before.
-Bully for you.
-You don't have to be unfriendly.
-Now that's true!
-See?
-"Life is crushing in on me."
-"Life can be beautiful." Hey, I know where it was.
-Where what was.
-Where I saw you. Everything going okay now? You live around here?
-Who lives?
-See, I'm new.
-Won't mother be proud.
-Where's Dawson High School?
-You going there?
-Yeah--why--
-Dig the square wardrobe!
-Yeah. So where's the high school?
-The kids take me.
-I'll bet you're a real yo yo.
-A what?
-Goodbye! See you!
-They'll be looking for you.
-They saw where I jumped! I didn't chicken! What do I have to do-- kill myself?
-It doesn't matter to them.
-You were looking for me, weren't you?
-No--I was just--maybe--
-You still pretty upset?
-You cold?
-Even if I'm near a fire, I'm cold. I guess just about everybody's cold.
-I swear, sometimes, you just want to hold onto somebody! Judy, what am I going to do? I can't go home again.
-Neither can I.
-No? Why not? You know something? Sometimes I figure I'll never live to see my next birthday. Isn't that dumb?
-No.
-Like even today. I woke up this morning, you know? And the sun was shining and everything was nice. Then the first thing that happens is I see you and I thought this is going to be one terrific day so you better live it up, boy, 'cause tomorrow maybe you'll be nothing.
-I'm sorry I treated you mean today. You shouldn't believe what I say when I'm with the kids. Nobody acts sincere.
-Why'd you get mixed up with them? You don't have to prove anything.
-If you knew me you wouldn't say that.
-I don't think you trust anybody, do you?
-Why?
-I'm getting that way, too.
-Have you ever gone with anyone who--
-Sure. Lots of times.
-So have I. But I've never been in love. Isn't that awful?
-Why did you do that?
-I felt like it.
-Where you going?
-I don't know, but we can't stay here.
-Where can we go? I can't go back into that zoo.
-I'm never going back.
-You can trust me, Judy.
-Oh, Jim!
-No--come on. Should we rent or are we in a buying mood, dear?
-Why don't we just rent it for the season?
-You see, we've just--oh, you tell him, darling. I'm so embarrassed I could die!
-Well--we're newlyweds.
-Of course. Drown them like puppies.
-You can't talk underwater!
-Ever been in a place like this before?
-Not exactly. It's certainly huge.
-How many rooms do you think there are?
-I don't know.
-Want to read any books? Take your pick! Isn't this the craziest?
-Hi.
-What?
-Your hand's all wet and it's shaky. You're so funny.
-Why?
-I don't know--you just are. Leaving a light for Plato. That was nice.
-Maybe he's scared of the dark.
-Here we are-- out of cigarettes-- Junior's in the nurs'ry-- See how late it gets--
-You don't need to do that.
-There's something I should tell you, Judy.
-I know already. We don't have to pretend now.
-Is this what it's like to love somebody?
-You disappointed?
-Funny Jimmy. You're so clean and you--this is silly.
-What?
-You smell like baby powder.
-So do you.
-I never felt so clean before.
-It's not going to be lonely, Judy. Not for you and not for me.
-I love somebody. All the time I've been looking for someone to love me and now--I love somebody. And it's so easy. Why is it easy now?
-It is for me too.
-No!
-We have to go back!
-After he tried to shoot you?
-He didn't mean it--we shouldn't have left him. He needed us.
-You should have heard him talk about you tonight. Like you were the hero in the China Seas.
-Sure. He was trying to make us his family.
-Is he your friend?
-Yes. My best friend.
-What's he like?
-Oh, I don't know. You have to get to know him. He doesn't say much but when he does you know he means it. He's sincere.
-Well, that's the main thing--don't you think so?
-Maybe next summer he's going to take me hunting with him--and fishing. I want him to teach me how and I bet he won't get mad if I goof. His name's Jim. It's really James but he likes Jim more. People he really likes--he lets call him "Jamie."
-Want to finish my hamburger? I only took a bite.
-Don't give it a thought. Only three million dollars a month!
-Children? Well, we really don't encourage them. They're so noisy and troublesome, don't you agree?
-Shall I show you the nursery? It's far away from the rest of the house. If you have children--Oh I hate the word!--or if you decide to adopt one--they can carry on and you'll never even notice. In fact, if you lock them in you never have to see them again, much less talk to them.
-Plato, where's your father now?
-He's dead. He was a hero in the China Sea. JIM You told me he's a big wheel in New York!
-I did? Well, he might as well be dead. What's the difference?
-Hi, Plato!
-Judy--we're ready for you now.
-He hates me.
-What?
-What makes you think he hates you, Judy?
-He makes you feel pretty unhappy?
-He calls me a dirty tramp--my own father!
-Do you think your father means that?
-Yes! I don't know! I mean maybe he doesn't mean it but he acts like he does. We're altogether and we're going to celebrate Easter and catch a double bill. Big deal. So I put on my new dress and I came out and he--
-That one?
-Yes--he started yelling for a handkerchief--screaming. He grabbed my face and he rubbed all my lipstick off--he rubbed till I thought I wouldn't have any lips left. And all the time yelling at me--that thing--the thing I told you he called me. Then I ran out of the house.
-Is that why you were wandering around at one o'clock in the morning?
-I was just talking a walk. I tried to call the kids but everybody was out and I couldn't find them. I hate my life. I just hate it.
-You weren't looking for company, were you?
-No.
-Did you stop to talk to anyone, Judy? Do you enjoy that?
-No. I don't even know why I do it.
-Do you think you can get back at your Dad that way? I mean sometimes if we can't get as close to somebody as we'd like we have to try making them jealous--so they'll have to pay attention. Did you ever think of that?
-I'll never get close to anybody.
-Some kids stomped a man on Twelfth Street, Judy.
-You know where they picked me up! Twelfth Street! I wasn't even near there!
-Your mother will be down in a few minutes, Judy--
-What?
-Your mother will be down in a few minutes.
-She's being called for.
-You said you'd call my father.
-How did you know that?
-We used to sing it in school. Don't look at me with such horror. They had schools in those days.
-But the same song. I think it's fantastic!
-We were romantic then too--
-Are you and Mom home tonight?
-No. Why?
-Nothing, only it'd be nice to spend an evening together for a change.
-With us old creeps? Come on, we have to eat.
-Good evening.
-Didn't you forget something?
-You're too old for that kind of stuff, kiddo. I thought you stopped doing that long ago.
-I was talking to Dad.
-I guess I just don't understand anything.
-I'm tired, Judy. I'd like to change the subject.
-Why?
-I'd like to, that's all. Girls your age don't do that. You need an explanation?
-So. This is the guy you been waiting for. Man of your dreams.
-Gabriel -- !
-Must have a way with stationery.
-You better be here to be good to her, loverboy. 'Cause she's been good to you.
-Gabriel, let him go --
-Read a lot about you, Nick.
-What are you doing here?!
-Read you're a man of some knowledge.
-Gabriel!
-A man of some travels.
-Is this him!?
-Don't hurt him...
-Is this the fucker you been writing all year!?
-IS THIS NICK MASON!!??
-Gabriel, you promised!
-You promised me!
-He'd rather die than be with you, he'd make a fucked-up boyfriend anyway. Bury him all over the place.
-Gabriel! You said talk to him. That's all you ever said...
-He wants the money.
-He wants... your "sister"...
-All those letters are about to pay off, baby... all those letters...
-To all those cons...
-Searching for a money man...
-We musta written what, twenty of 'em? And they were before this guy. One, two letters apiece, ten to the racetrack guy in Leavenworth --
--- till he fucked his parole --
--- plus the forty to Mason... how many letters is that?
-I can't take watching you touch him. I can't take his hands on you.
-One more day, baby. One more day to Christmas.
-I've been doing good, though.
-Didn't have to hit me so fucking hard. Didn't have to throw me outta the goddamn truck.
-Didn't have to send me down a fucking mountain.
-He's shown us the setup, he's drawn us the map, he's helped us do the plan. He wants a gun, give him a gun. Take the bullets out, whatever, but give him the gun. The more manpower we've got in there, the better. He won't try and make his move till the money's in hand.
-Y'know something, baby? If you were my sister? I'd still want to wake up Christmas morning with you...
-Gabriel!
-You can't find... what?
-Toys for adults. Where are your toys for adults?
-Toys for... adults?
-C'mon. How old are you, sixteen? C'mon.
-We sell children's toys --
-Slinky's in aisle five, Twister's in aisle one, Moon Mud's in aisle four.
-Gotta be ten degrees out there.
-Radio said negative five.
-Negative five?
-Yeah.
-I don't think it's negative five.
-I figured you walked outta there and saw me and walked right the other way --
-No, no --
-Saw my outfit or something, my coat --
-No, hey, I like your coat --
-Saw me --
-Ashley, no. That was me, that's what I was scared of. I mean, be serious... I ain't exactly looking like Mr. Universe here.
-Thought you wrote you had a mustache.
-I can get another one going. Y'know, hey, whatever you want me to --
-Do that again.
-What.
-No --
-One more. Smile. One more.
-No, c'mon --
-Tell me something. This the first time you've ever done this?
-Go to hell, Nick Mason, what's that supposed to mean --
-No, not that, no... I mean this, the whole thing. Start writing to a guy, guy in the bricks. Get a boyfriend like this. Tell me the truth.
-Well. You're not the first guy I wrote to. But you're the only one I kept writing to.
-I told you, Nick. Remember?
-Tell me again.
-All the guys I've ever been with... they never want to know me. Who I am on the inside. They just want to qet inside. When they do, they think that means they know who I am. That I trust them. That they know me. That there's nothing left to learn. A guy like you, Nick -- six months before you can even touch
-Had some bad relationships, didn't you.
-Well, wasn't all me, y'know.
-Yes it was all you --
-Guy I was in with... he helped sometimes... some of the romantic stuff, actually... you'd like him --
-I'm talking about the heart, Nick. I'm not talking about the words.
-Y'know, some of the heart mighta been his too...
-Where the hell are you going?
-Ashley, Jesus --
-Can't survive on our bodies alone, Nick. Hurry up!
-Ash... didn't you write me that you don't eat chocolate?
-You need a COAT!
-Ash, you've gotten me enough --
-Baby, c'mon, all this stuff... I haven't gotten you anything --
-You forget where I work?
-Beauty and fragrances.
-Well, I don't know about that --
-Blackjack, Nick, blackjack I am good at. I mean, they'd give us some free games or something, wouldn't they? Since you worked there?
-Security, Ash, I just worked security. They wouldn't be rolling out the red carpet --
-And the slots, slots I'm good at too. Wouldn't that be fun?
-We'll have more fun in Detroit.
-We could live it up and --
-Baby, I'm gonna go tell 'em not to disturb us for the rest of the year. I get back in that room, you better be wearing nothing but a candy cane.
-I'll see what I can do.
-NO!
-I'm not him. I... You want something from Nick, you got the wrong guy.
-I won't let 'em, Nick. They won't hurt you anymore.
-...the truck driver...
-Since Janey moved in... Gabriel... he's come over more and more. To the apartment. Janey's the divorced one, 'member, with the tit job --
-What the fuck is going on.
-He read the letters, Nick. Some day I wasn't there. He went through my room. He found your letters.
-You motherfucker.
-Nick, no --
-You sold him out.
-Nick --
-When'd you decide to do it, Ash? After which of his letters, huh? The fortieth? The fiftieth? The first?!
-I'M NOT NICK! You thought you'd fuck him over?! Well he's fucked you! I've never worked at some casino! I can't help you! Because he's not me!
-Nick, I love you --
-Get the hell off of me!
-He'll kill you.
-You're not hearing me here --
-My brother's killed people, I know he has. Truckers. If you talk him into thinking you're not you, you'll only get yourself dead.
-He didn't "find" Nick's letters, did he.
-Nick, please, it's me --
-You told him about Nick's letters.
-No, Nick, no --
-You're in on this.
-Your pen palls dead, lady.
-If you say that, if you keep saying that, they will kill you. If they think you're not you, they will kill you. Don't you see? I know what you're doing, but it won't work!
-Nick died for me....
-I won't let him hurt you! He just wants what you know!
-...maybe I die for Nick...
-Gabriel!
-They changed the layout -- whadda they call you? Mr. Monster? They remodeled the place. When I worked there -- listen to me -- guy that managed the joint, guy who ran it--
-Jack. Jack Bangs.
-He said he wanted to talk to you. When he found the letters... he said "when your boyfriend gets out, I wanna talk to him." I thought he meant back in Detroit. I thought he meant --
-I thought we'd have a few more days.
-For what? You to talk me into "helping"? What, he promise you a share of the winnings?
-No!
-Well, shit, Judas, you shoulda at least gotten that --
-Nick! He wants to know how to rob it, and he'll leave you alone! That's all he wants! I hate him, Nick... you know how...
-So get him outta your life. Get out of Michigan. They got perfume counters in Chicago, don't they?
-Since when do some trucker pals start thinking big, anyway?
-They run routes mostly east, retail stuff, warehouses. But Gabriel knows some guys in New York, Miami, guys he helps get guns to Detroit. Hides 'em with his regular loads.
-He working for them on this one?
-No. He wants to be working for himself someday.
-And I'm his ticket. What's the last place they took down?
-What?
-They've never done a robbery?
-Then they do need me, don't they. They really need me...
-We're gonna get out of here, Nick. We're gonna get out of this...
-Get your own room, Ashley.
-Nick...
-So does it look a lot different?
-That guy knows you?
-Nick, what happened --
-We get to the bridge, we're all right!
-Nick, the ice is --
-Jesus Christ, stay here, don't move, stay right here --
-We'll get there, baby... we'll get there...
-...Haven't had cranberry buns... in five whole years...
-You saved my life. You could have run, but you didn't. You saved me.
-You saved me.
-I'm sorry, Nick... I'm so sorry...
-Don't say my name...
-I love you, Nick...
-They'll have guns.
-What?
-You said they've run guns, in their trucks. So they'll have guns. To do this robbery. They'll have serious guns.
-I don't know...
-I'm going to have to be inside that casino. When it happens. I'll need to be part of it. I can't just be drawing some map.
-Nick, what are you talking about?
-We need to find a way to make me part of it.
-He wants to see your map.
-I'm almost done.
-He says he wants it now.
-How are we gonna do this, Nick?
-You're the getaway girl. The money's gonna get to you eventually. Gonna be my job to be the guy who walks outta there with it. But I can't do that without a gun. Any luck talking to him?
-Bullets or no bullets, he won't do it.
-Is there any way you could get into his truck?
-No.
-Here's the Picasso. Is he in his room?
-They all are. Football's on.
-I don't know where you're going. But I'm going home.
-We go together, Nick. Wherever... we go together. Remember?
-WHERE'S THE FUCKING CASH, NICK!
-You... you... YOU --
-I saved your life.
-You shouldn't have.
-He did love you, you know. Nick. He did love you.
-Merry Christmas, Rudy.
-I'm glad it was me.
-What?
-Rudy. How'd you know my name?
-You said Merry Christmas, Rudy.
-I... you told me your name was Rudy. You told me a million times, back in the truck, telling me you weren't Nick --
-No --
-You were screaming you weren't Nick! And we just didn't fucking believe you!
-But I never said Rudy.
-You said it a million times!
-You... you don't know me --
-Oh, I know you, Nick. I know you real well.
-No, you can't --
-Who are you now.
-You got the wrong guy! She thinks I'm Nick, I'm not!
-Put him in the truck.
-I was in the joint with him! I knew about him and her, okay!? I took his place!
-You what...
-You're not Nick Mason...
-I shared his cell!
-But you were saying you were...
-Yes!
-So you could get with my sister.
-Yes!
-So you could get down her chimney.
-Yes!
-You're a good writer, Nick. I give this writing an A-plus.
-Hey. She says she loves you, Nick.
-She says a lot of things.
-She's getting you to help us... 'cause she knows if you don't, you're dead. You just tell us what we need to know, you two live happily ever after. My sister loves you, motherfucker, and I ain't gonna have you break her heart.
-Wish I had a brother like you.
-I had better sex in prison.
-Where's she work?
-What?
-Wrote you a hundred letters, didn't she? Where's she work?
-J.C. Penney. Beauty and fragrances.
-What's her middle name?
-Samantha.
-What'd they call her in high school?
-Bam Bam.
-What'd they call her in college?
-What college.
-Be more specific.
-A station wagon in Canada.
-What's her greatest fear?
-Her brother.
-Wrong, Nick. It's drowning.
-Let's get back on the road. It's time to start talking, Nick. Time to start telling tales --
-You knew the place --
-How much money's in that casino? Day-to-day.
-I don't know.
-The hell you don't.
-Five million?
-You wrote Ash that letter, you told her that story 'bout working Christmas Eve, bout how they'd send half the security guys home, nobody comin, in that night. And the rest of you got shit-faced drinking hot buttered rum. That a true story now?
-Christmas... Eve...
-Hey, it's... been two years --
-Hell. Ten?
-What?
-I said, who the hell made the map?
-I did.
-This isn't the Tomahawk.
-What the fuck are you talking about.
-We walked the place for a week.
-They wouldn't have changed the security setup.
-So what the hell good are you...
-You'd have to get me inside. Get inside, watch where the money's moving, see where the guards are going. Then I could work with your map.
-They won't recognize me.
-Why not.
-Trust me. They won't recognize me.
-We'll trust you when we're rich. Why not.
-Bring back some memories, Nick?
-Rather be back in the Mountain?
-Might as well be.
-A cowboy. You're going to send me into an Indian casino disguised as a cowboy. Have you thought this entirely through?
-You're a country-western singer up from Nashville for the the holidays. Visiting your Grandma on the lake, driving into the Tomahawk for some scotch and slots. You only play the slots, you got that? Don't want no dealer friend of yours recognizing you, you sidle up to shoot some craps.
-What kind of half-ass cowboy plays the slots?
-You do.
-At least gimme video poker.
-Do I get a country-western name?
-Y'know what, guys? I woke up this morning, I got a really lucky feeling going on. I mean it, I'm feeling that good. I wouldn't be surprised if I walk in there, pull a handle and hit jackpot. Hell, we wouldn't even have to --
-You got one hour.
-Ten dollars? What do I do with ten dollars?
-Don't tip.
-A for effort, Nick, honestly, A for effort and an honorary degree. I'm surprised you never escaped from the Mountain.
-...never... tried...
-Got something to say to me, Nick?
-What'd you tell that casino manager?
-Nnn... nothing...
-You were talking to him! What'd you tell him!?
-Nothing... I promise-nothing...
-MAYBE SOMETHING ABOUT A ROBBERY?
-He thought I was some gambler... he didn't know me... he didn't recognize me!
-It's time for me... to be working for me. I want mine, Nick. And I need you. Did you tell your manager there's gonna be a robbery?
-Man, Monster... just... just don't start trying to hit me...
-Start singing.
-I have no gifts to bring, pa-rumpum- pum-pum
-Across from blackjack, there's a security doorway. Keypad access.
-What's the code?
-So. You're gonna need a man through here, two men at the cage, one to cover the count. You're gonna need a lookout outside, a sweeper through the back, and a gun guarding the front. You need six.
-We got five. Putting Ashley outside.
-NO.
-You go in with five, you're either leaving an alarm free or an exit free. Someone hits an alarm, you're fucked. Someone gets to a phone, gets outside, 'cross the street, whatever, you're fucked. You need six. Six is me.
-No.
-I want a map of that security level. Every room, every guard, every thing.
-Six men means six guns.
-No way.
-I'm no threat without a gun.
-No, you're not.
-No gun.
-Well. What you guys have to plan out, then... is how you're going to get to that cage and that security level before anybody realizes anything's wrong. Running in with ski masks and bullets flying ain't gonna do it.
-That part, Nick... was planned out the day I read your letters.
-What. We all gonna dress up like cowboys?
-You gotta be kidding me.
-Can't be attracting attention, right?
-You are lucky, convict. You're spending Christmas with the birthday boy himself --
-Buncha guys in red suits busted in, they'll say. Started shooting. They won't be able to remember... if it was three, or four... or five. Four dead Santas and some burned-up cash. Merry Christmas, The End.
-Get in the CAR!
-Ash?
-How'd you know my name was Rudy.
-Ash?
-Hey. They got a shitload of cookies.
-Take 'em.
-How 'bout the tree? You want the tree?
-Here ya go, convict. We cased the place in the fall, got the layout down. What you're gonna do is show us where each of these doors go, what the upstairs level looks like, where they got the alarms, all of it.
-Who's robbin' who here, Gabriel...
-Where the HELL did he go?
-Mister. I'm begging, 'kay? I'm begging. This is not some card club, 'kay? This is the Tomahawk. We're an international gaming destination. We're in guidebooks. You can't do this... you can't do this to me...
-He won't tell us where it is. The Powwow Safe.
-THE POWWOW SAFE! WHERE IS THE POWWOW SAFE!
-What... Powwow...
-The Powwow Safe where you steal your money! Where you cheat your Indians!
-...so where is he?
-Where is he?! Where is he?!
-I can't go back to Vegas...
-I CAN'T! GO BACK! I CAN'T! GO BACK! I CAN'T! GO BACK!
-There's no snow in Vegas, 'kay? They don't know it, they don't want it, they got laws against the stuff. They got Egypt down there, right, they got Monte Carlo, Hawaii, they got ancient Rome, but where's the Winter Castle, right? Where's the Swiss miss Chalet? Where's the Big Fucking Igloo?
-We understand you, Mr. Bangs.
-Capades? They don't do it. Mittens? Outlawed. Why?
-We're aware of your position.
-I'm bringing in this great showroom act next week; these three Russian girls, they look like Meryl Streep, they can juggle anything.
-Mr. Bangs.
-Guys. We're doing it right, here. $5.99 prime rib? Nobody does that in Michigan. Nobody.
-The tribe is concerned that many of your... new ideas are not resulting in any new venues.
-I'm putting liquor in the drinks, I'm giving 10-times odds on craps, I got the girls showing sixteen-percent more skin! Show me another buffet's gonna offer you Coke and Pepsi! Whaddya want me to do?!
-The Powwow Safe?
-What about the Powwow Safe?
-What?
-The Powwow Safe. The secret safe. You said the manager's got a safe in his office where he hides skim money.
-Hi, Santa Claus, how are you. He's with Sears, I'm with Wal-Mart, twas the season...
-Goddamn, Merlin. There any part of the day you don't smoke?
-There anytime you don't got a mouthful of shit?
-Cancer-sucker.
-That motherfucker --
-Knew a guy in Joliet, smoked ten packs a day like you. His lungs got so black they couldn't find 'em with an x-ray.
-This trucker? Met a girl in a bar one night, she didn't know his situation. He's drunk, she's drunk, they get to mackin' hot and heavy and the woman swallows it. His tongue. Sucks it right down.
-My guy would walk into a room, set off the goddamn sprinklers.
-I got a bacon too; there another bacon in there?
-I got a bacon for him and a bacon for me; there's four cheeseburgers and two roast beefs --
-Thanks, sister. How are ya.
-Fuckin' freezing.
-Hell yeah. You work here long?
-Five years. Since it opened.
-How long ago was your makeover?
-My what?!
-...but I got a girl to be with, rum- pum-pum-pum...
-You want that for here or to go?
-Buffet. Whaddya think it is?
-Having romance problems, Romeo?
-What the hell was that about --
-What you gotta worry about first is the guards. Place doesn't look much richer than when I worked there, so let's figure you're gonna have to deal with ten of 'em. There'll be two on the floor, walking the room, that leaves eight up above. Eyes in the sky. They see something up, they're the ones who'll hit the silent alarm and you're fucked.
-How do we take them out?
-You gotta get someone upstairs.
-What about the money?
-Here's my present to you, truck drivers --
-DROP 'EM! DROP, DROP, DROP!!!
-You knew there were guns in here!
-Merlin, I didn't know --
-You got Pug killed! You tried to get ME killed! You just lost your Get- Outta-Jail-Free --
-Monsters in the gelatin...
-It's a roach, guy --
-There are monsters... ...in the gelatin...
-THERE ARE MONSTERS IN THE GELATIN!
-Fuckin, Zookerman --
-What's the first thing, man? What's the first thing you're gonna do?
-Haven't thought about it.
-Hell you haven't.
-Get to thinking about it, it won't happen.
-We walk outta here, we hit that road, what's the first thing you're gonna do.
-Ain't there yet.
-Three days, man.
-Not yet.
-Hot chocolate.
-What?
-Get a hot mug of chocolate. First thing I'm gonna do.
-And a slice of pecan pie, right?
-She's gonna be out there, man. Right there. Right there waiting.
-Yeah.
-Gonna walk out of this shitstorm and right into her arms.
-Yeah.
-Got us a motel out Highway 5, bringing her own damn sheets, you read that part? Silk damn sheets. Lock ourselves in the whole week, drinking wine, taking baths, man, see if they got those room service steaks... anything I want to do. Remember when she wrote that? Anything I want...
-Why you gotta say a thing like that.
-I'm just saying.
-Why you gotta. We were gonna give you a ride someplace, man. Now I just don't know.
-I'm just talking.
-For twenty-five, she sounds pretty mature.
-What if she sees you, man, sees what you look like... and it's not there. You just don't do it for her.
-She's using a new perfume.
-No, I think that's just oranges. She writes here she's eating oranges.
-Oh.
-Shoulda written to that magazine, Rudy. I'm gonna walk outta here, walk right into a relationship. Not some one-nighter, man... a relationship. You? You're gonna walk outta here with bus fare. Searching for the drunkest skirt in the room.
-Mornin', gorgeous. More egg nog?
-All I want... is to make it to Sidnaw, and sit down for Christmas dinner. Watch some ball with my old man, sleep in my old bed, and have leftovers for bout six months.
-Thought you hated Sidnaw.
-Just taste that Christmas turkey.
-Thought you hate your old man.
-Don't look like he missed the sunlight.
-Pinscher told me Alamo thinks I'm the one ratted on him beating up Cree. Since I was there, I saw it, he thinks I got him sent to solitary.
-So maybe after our week beneath the sheets, we'll head down to Motor City for New Year's. She says her roommate's skipping town for a few days, have the place to ourselves. Remember how her brother's a truck driver down there? I'm thinking he might be able to help get me some work.
-What, working security?
-No, I'm through with that shit. Ashley's right. Gotta start doing something I got a stake in. Get a business going.
-I don't know, I've seen the business world.
-Just a roach, Zook.
-Rudy, don't move --
-Don't move, Rudy!
-GUARD! GUARD!
-Alamo...
-Jesus, Rudy --
-Take it, man! You're all right! Hold it in! GUARD!
-Oh, fuck, Rudy... oh Jesus...
-GUARD!!!
-Ash... Ashley...
-No, man! No, no, no!
-Tell her... I'll be there ...
-You're GONNA be there! We're getting outta here! TAKE IT!
-Tell Ashley... I...
-YOU TELL HER!
-NO!!!
-...for Christmas...
-Millie here used to serve drinks to these gunrunning truckers, real big talkers, talking bout a real score one day. I was in the Mountain, man, what the hell, why not let her get friendly with 'em? Let her tell 'em an idea she had, 'bout writing guys in prison. Getting one who could show 'em a sure thing.
-She set them up. All of them.
-Why not have her pretend to find me? Pretend to write me and reel me in? Tell her new trucker-man she'd pose as some sister of his named Ashley?
-And you set me up.
-Paid the Alamo ten bucks to put the shiv in me. He's a lifer, what does he care. Paid a hospital guard fifty to put out the story I was dead. Once the wound healed up... Got out of the Mountain this morning. And tonight I'm a rich man.
-How'd you know I'd do it.
-Do what?
-Hell, you never needed to convince Ashley you were me. Just the dumb fucking truckers. I figured I'd talked enough about the Tomahawk in the pen for you to get by --
-Talked about the old man's weapons stash, probably forgot I'd remember
-They had the weapons and the willpower. We just gave them their inside man.
-You gave them me.
-That was my card, pop! My card! You hit for my card!
-I... sorry, Mister...
-That was my king!
-POP! That was My card!
-But... I had a five...
-Switch seats with me.
-What? No...
-You're taking my money. Switch seats with me. Switch seats with me if you're not taking my money --
-I'm ninety-two years old --
-Then get yourself another table! You're hitting Santa's cards and you're taking Santa's money!
-There is no other table --
-Watch your mouth, man. It's Christmas.
-Start talkin
-That's what it looks like!
-Map is kinda dirty, Monster...
-Without having them hit the alarms.
-Alone at last.
-Now where were we?
-I told you I don't know anything about any fucking set up. I've only been on the force eight months, nobody tells me anything! I don't know anything! You can torture me if you want -
-Thanks, don't mind if I do.
-Your boss even said there wasn't a set up.
-I asked you a question. Are you clear about that?
-Yes.
-How ya doin', Toothpick?
-Fine, now.
-I'm sorry man, I shoulda picked you up personally at the pen. This whole week's just been crazy. I've had my head up my ass the entire time.
-Funny you should mention it. That's what your father and I been talkin' about.
-That I should've picked you up?
-You fuckin' wish.
-You tried to fuck me in my father's office, you sick bastard. Look, Vic, whatever you wanna do in the privacy of your own home, go do it. But don't try to fuck me. I don't think of you that way. I mean, I like you a lot -
-Eddie, if I was a pirate, I wouldn't throw you to the crew.
-No, you'd keep me for yourself. Four years fuckin' punks in the ass made you appreciate prime rib when you get it.
-I might break you, Nice Guy, but I'd make you my dog's bitch. You'd be suckin' the dick and going down on a mangy T-bone hound.
-Seymour Scagnetti.
-Scagnetti? Oh shit, I hear he's a motherfucker.
-He is a motherfucker. He won't let me leave the halfway house till I get some piece of shit job.
-You're coming back to work for us, right?
-I don't wanna lift crates.
-Holy shit, this guy's all fucked up!
-Jesus Christ, give me a fuckin' chance to breathe. I got a few questions of my own, ya know.
-You ain't dying, he is.
-I'll call somebody.
-Who?
-Let me tell you guys a story. In one of daddy's clubs there was this black cocktail waitress named Elois.
-Elois?
-Yeah, Elois. E and Lois. We called her Lady E.
-Where was she from, Compton?
-I don't know what he did to her, but she got even.
-I don't buy it. It doesn't make sense.
-The motherfucker killed Vic.
-Joe, you're making a terrible mistake I can't let you make.
-Daddy, did ya see that?
-What?
-Now Vic was tellin' me, he's got a parole problem.
-We can work this out, can't we?
-Didn't I tell ya not to worry? Vic was worried.
-Nuts. We got a big meeting in Vegas coming up. And we're kinda just gettin ready for that right now.
-Let Nice Guy set you up at Long Beach. Give ya some cash, get that Scagnetti fuck off your back, and we'll be talking to ya.
-Daddy, I'm sorry, I don't know what's happening.
-We were set up, the cops were waiting for us.
-What? Nobody set anybody up.
-The cops were there waitin' for us!
-Bullshit.
-Hey, fuck you man, you weren't there, we were. And I'm tellin' ya, the cops had that store staked out.
-Okay, Mr. Detective, who did it?
-What the fuck d'you think we've been askin' each other?
-And what are your answers? Was it me? You think I set you up?
-I don't know, but somebody did.
-Brown's dead, we don't know about Blue.
-I take it this is the bastard you told me about. Why the hell are you beating on him?
-So he'll tell us who the fuck set us up.
-Would you stop it with that shit! You beat on this prick enough, he'll tell ya he started the Chicago fire. That don't necessarily make it so. Okay, first things fucking last, where's the shit? Please tell me somebody brought something with them.
-I got a bag. I stashed it till I could be sure this place wasn't a police station.
-What does it matter who stays with the cop? We ain't lettin' him go. Not after he's seen everybody. You should've never took him outta your trunk in the first place.
-We were trying to find out what he knew about the set up.
-Go ahead and laugh, you know what I mean. What a while bitch will put up with, a black bitch won't put up with for a minute. They got a line, and if you cross it, they fuck you up.
-The black Beverly Hills. I knew this lady from Ladora Heights once. "Hi, I'm from Ladora Heights, it's the black Beverly Hills."
-It's not the black Beverly Hills, it's the black Palos Verdes. Anyway, this chick, Elois, was a man-eater- upper. I bet every guy who's ever met her has jacked off to her at least once. You know who she looked like? Christie Love. 'Member that TV show "Get Christie Love"? She was a black female cop. She always used to say "You're under arrest,
-I was in the sixth grade when that show was on. I totally dug it. What the fuck was the name of the chick who played Christie Love?
-Pam Grier.
-No, it wasn't Pam Grier, Pam Grier was the other one. Pam Grier made the movies. Christie Love was like a Pam Grier TV show, without Pam Grier.
-What the fuck was that chick's name? Oh this is just great, I'm totally fuckin' tortured now.
-He's right about the ear, it's hacked off.
-Say "hello" to a motherfucker who's inside. Cabot's doing a job and take a big fat guess who he wants on the team?
-Nice Guy. When we got to the bar...
-...What bar?
-The Boots and Socks in Gardena. When we got there, I met Joe and a guy named Mr. White. It's a phony name. My name's Mr. Orange.
-You ever seen this motherfucker before?
-Who, Mr. White?
-Yeah.
-No, he ain't familiar. He ain't one of Cabot's soldiers either. He's gotta be from outta town. But Joe knows him real well.
-How can you tell?
-The way they talk to each other. You can tell they're buddies.
-Did the two of you talk?
-Me and Mr. White?
-Yeah.
-A little.
-What about?
-The Brewers.
-The Milwaukee Brewers?
-Yeah. They had just won the night before, and he made a killing off 'em.
-What kinds questions did Cabot ask?
-Didja use the commode story?
-What's this?
-It's a scene. Memorize it.
-What?
-A undercover cop has got to be Marlon Brando. To do this job you got to be a great actor. You got to be naturalistic. You got to be naturalistic as hell. If you ain't a great actor you're a bad actor, and bad acting is bullshit in this job.
-But what is this?
-It's a amusing anecdote about a drug deal.
-What?
-Something funny that happened to you while you were doing a job.
-I gotta memorize all this shit?
-It's like a joke. You remember what's important, and the rest you make your own. The only way to make it your own is to keep sayin' it, and sayin' it, and sayin' it, and sayin' it, and sayin' it.
-I can do that.
-Tell me more about Cabot.
-...Her brother usually goes with her, but he's in county unexpectedly.
-What for?
-Jesus Christ!
-Let's go over it. Where are you?
-I stand outside and guard the door. I don't let anybody come in or go out.
-Mr. Brown?
-Mr. Brown stays in the car. He's parked across the street till I give him the signal, then he pulls up in front of the store.
-Mr. Blonde and Mr. Blue?
-Myself and Mr. Pink?
-You two take the manager in the back and make him give you the diamonds. We're there for those stones, period. Since no display cases are being fucked with, no alarms should go off. We're out of there in two minutes, not one second longer. What if the manager won't give up the diamonds?
-I'm sorry.
-Just hold on buddy boy.
-How's freedom kid, pretty fuckin' good, ain't it?
-It's a change.
-Ain't that a sad truth. Remy Martin?
-Sure.
-Who's your parole officer?
-A guy named Scagnetti. Seymour Scagnetti.
-How is he?
-Fuckin' asshole, won't let me leave the halfway house.
-I just want you to know, Joe, how much I appreciate your care packages on the inside.
-What the hell did you expect me to do? Just forget about you?
-I just wanted you to know, they meant a lot.
-It's the least I could do Vic. I wish I coulda done more. Vic. Toothpick Vic. Tell me a story? What're your plans?
-That's great, guy, thanks a bunch. When do you think you'll need me for real work?
-Toby... who the fuck is Toby? Toby... Toby... think... think... think...
-Hey, fuck all that, I'm making a point here. You're gonna make me lose my train of thought.
-Then one day she meets a John Holmes motherfucker, and it's like, whoa baby. This mother fucker's like Charles Bronson in "The Great Escape." He's diggin' tunnels. Now she's gettin' this serious dick action, she's feelin' something she ain't felt since forever. Pain.
-Chew? Toby Chew? No.
-Wong?
-Fuck you, wrong. I'm right! What the fuck do you know about it anyway? You're still listening to Jerry- fucking-Vale.
-Because you paid for the breakfast, I'm gonna tip. Normally I wouldn't.
-But he's OK. If he wasn't OK, he wouldn't be here. Okay, let me introduce everybody to everybody. But once again, at the risk of being redundant, if I even think I hear somebody telling or referring to somebody by their Christian name... ...you won't want to be you. Okay, quickly. Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange, and Mr. Pink.
-Why am I Mr. Pink?
-Why can't we pick out our own colors?
-Yeah, Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy. Tell you what, let me be Mr. Purple. That sounds good to me, I'm Mr. Purple.
-Nobody's trading with anybody! Look, this ain't a goddamn fuckin' city counsel meeting! Listen up Mr. Pink. We got two ways here, my way or the highway. And you can go down either of 'em. So what's it gonna be, Mr. Pink?
-Mr. Blue's dead?
-What's that?
-Give me this fucking thing.
-What the fuck do you think you're doin'? Give me my book back!
-I'm sick of fuckin' hearin' it Joe; I'll give it back when we leave.
-Whaddaya mean, give it to me when we leave, give it back now.
-For the past fifteen minutes now, you've just been droning on with names. "Toby... Toby... Toby... Toby Wong... Toby Wong... Toby Chung... fuckin' Charlie Chan." I got Madonna's big dick outta my right ear, and Toby Jap I-don't-know-what, outta my left.
-What do you care?
-When you're annoying as hell, I care a lot.
-Give me my book.
-You gonna put it away?
-I'm gonna do whatever I wanna do with it.
-No, she did it. She killed the cheatin' wife, too.
-I'll take care of this, you guys leave the tip. And when I come back, I want my book back.
-Sorry, it's my book now.
-What's she doin' now?
-She hooked up with Fed McGar, they've done a couple a jobs together. Good little thief. So, explain the telegram.
-Five-man job. Bustin' in and bustin' out of a diamond wholesaler's.
-Can you move the ice afterwards? I don't know nobody who can move ice.
-Not a problem, got guys waitin' for it. But what happened to Marsellus Spivey? Didn't he always move your ice?
-He's doin' twenty years in Susanville.
-What for?
-Bad luck. What's the exposure like?
-Two minutes, tops. It's a tough two minutes. It's daylight, during business hours, dealing with a crowd. But you'll have the guys to deal with the crowd.
-How many employees?
-Around twenty. Security pretty lax. They almost always just deal in boxes. Rough uncut stones they get from the syndicate. On a certain day this wholesaler's gettin' a big shipment of polished stones from Israel. They're like a way station. They are gonna get picked up the next day and sent to Vermont.
-What's the cut, poppa?
-What the fuck are you talking about?
-Joe, I don't know what you think you know, but you're wrong.
-Like hell I am.
-Joe, trust me on this, you've made a mistake. He's a good kid. I understand you're hot, you're super-fuckin' pissed. We're all real emotional. But you're barking up the wrong tree. I know this man, and he wouldn't do that.
-He was the only one I wasn't a hundred percent on. I should have my fucking head examined for goin' forward when I wasn't a hundred percent. But he seemed like a good kid, and I was impatient and greedy and all the things that fuck you up.
-That's your proof?
-Don't worry, Eddie. Me and Larry have been friends a long time, he ain't gonna shoot. We like each other too much.
-Larry, I'm gonna kill him.
-Goddamn you, Joe, don't make me do this!
-Larry, I'm askin' you to trust me on this.
-Don't ask me that.
-Okay ramblers, let's get to rambling. Wait a minute, who didn't throw in?
-Mr. Pink.
-Mr. Pink? Why?
-He don't tip.
-He don't tip? You don't tip? Why?
-He don't believe in it.
-He don't believe in it? You don't believe in it?
-Nope.
-Aren't you?
-I know.
-You do?
-Your name's Freddy something.
-Freddy Newendyke.
-Frankie Ferchetti introduced us once, about five months ago.
-Shit. I don't remember that at all.
-That fucking bastard! That fucking sick fucking bastard!
-Marvin, I need you to hold on. There's officers positioned and waiting to move in a block away.
-What the fuck are they waiting for? That motherfucker cut off my ear! He slashed my face! I'm deformed!
-Joe, you want me to shoot him for you?
-So, talk.
-What's this guy's problem?
-What's my problem? Yeah, I gotta problem. I gotta big problem with any trigger-happy madman who almost gets me shot!
-What're you talkin' about?
-That fuckin' shooting spree in the store.
-Fuck 'em, they set off the alarm, they deserve what they got.
-You almost killed me, asshole! If I had any idea what type of guy you were, I never would've agreed to work with you.
-You gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?
-What was that? I'm sorry, I didn't catch it. Would you repeat it?
-Follow you where?
-Down to my car.
-Why?
-For what, the cops?
-You talked to Nice Guy Eddie? Why the fuck didn't you say that in the first place?
-You didn't ask.
-Hardy-fuckin-har. What did he say?
-Because this guy's a fucking psycho. And if you think Joe's pissed at us, that ain't nothing compared to how pissed off I am at him, for puttin' me in the same room as this bastard.
-You see what I been puttin' up with? As soon as I walk through the door I'm hit with this shit. I tell 'm what you told me about us stayin' put and Mr. White whips out his gun, sticks it in my face, and starts screaming "You motherfucker, I'm gonna blow you away, blah, blah, blah."
-I told 'em not to touch the alarm. They touched it. I blew 'em full of holes. If they hadn't done what I told 'em not it, they'd still be alive.
-That's your excuse for going on a kill crazy rampage?
-Hey, just cancel that shit right now! You're hurt. You're hurt really fucking bad, but you ain't dying.
-All this blood is scaring the shit outta me. I'm gonna die, I know it.
-Oh excuse me, I didn't realize you had a degree in medicine. Are you a doctor? Are you a doctor? Answer me please, are you a doctor?
-Say-the-goddamn-words: You're gonna be okay!
-I'm okay.
-Just hold on buddy boy. Hold on, and wait for Joe. I can't do anything for you, but when Joe gets here, which should be anytime now, he'll be able to help you. We're just gonna sit here, and wait for Joe. Who are we waiting for?
-Joe.
-I ain't going anywhere. I'm right here. I'm not gonna leave ya.
-Look, I don't wanna be a fly in the ointment, but if help doesn't come soon, I gotta see a doctor. I don't give a fuck about jail, I just don't wanna die.
-You're not gonna fucking die, all right?
-I wasn't born yesterday. I'm hurt, and I'm hurt bad.
-It's not good...
-Hey, bless your heart for what you're trying to do. I was panicking for a moment, but I've got my senses back now. The situation is, I'm shot in the belly. And without medical attention, I'm gonna die.
-I can' take you to a hospital.
-Fuck jail! I don't give a shit about jail. But I can't die. You don't have to take me in. Just drive me up to the front, drop me on the sidewalk. I'll take care of myself. I won't tell them anything. I swear to fucking god, I won't tell 'em anything. Look in my eyes, look right in my eyes. I-won't-tell-them-anything. You'll be
-Lie back down, and try to -
-What happened?
-Uhuh, uhuh, what's I tell ya? That sick piece of shit was a stone cold psycho.
-Have you guys been listening to K- BILLY's super sounds of the seventies weekend?
-Yeah, it's fuckin' great isn't it?
-Can you believe the songs they been playin'?
-No, I can't. You know what I heard the other day? "Heartbeat-It's Lovebeat," by little Tony DeFranco and the DeFranco Family. I haven't heard that since I was in fifth fuckin' grade.
-C'mon, throw in a buck.
-Uh-uh. I don't tip.
-Whaddaya mean you don't tip?
-I don't believe in it.
-I don't even know a Jew who'd have the balls to say that. So let's get this straight. You never ever tip?
-I'd go over twelve percent for that.
-These ladies aren't starvin' to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.
-Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.
-You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
-Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.
-Gun shot.
-Oh that's just fucking great! Where's Brown?
-Dead.
-Goddamn, goddamn! How did he die?
-How the fuck do you think? The cops shot him.
-Oh this is bad, this is so bad. Is it bad?
-As opposed to good?
-This is so fucked up. Somebody fucked us big time.
-You really think we were set up?
-You even doubt it? I don't think we got set up, I know we got set up! I mean really, seriously, where did all those cops come from, huh? One minute they're not there, the next minute they're there. I didn't hear any sirens. The alarm went off, okay. Okay, when an alarm goes off, you got an average of four minutes response time.
-I haven't had a chance to think. First I was just trying to get the fuck outta there. And after we got away, I've just been dealin' with him.
-Well, you better start thinking about it. Cause I, sure as fuck, am thinking about it. In fact, that's all I'm thinking about. I came this close to just driving off. Whoever set us up, knows about this place. There could've been cops sitting here waiting for me. For all we know, there's cops, driving fast, on their way here now.
-What the fuck am I doing here? I felt funny about this job right off. As soon as I felt it I should said "No thank you", and walked. But I never fucking listen. Every time I ever got burned buying weed, I always knew the guy wasn't right. I just felt it. But I wanted to believe him. If he's not lyin' to
-What's done is done, I need you cool. Are you cool?
-I'm cool.
-Want a smoke?
-Okay, let's go through what happened. We're in the place, everything's going fine. Then the alarm gets tripped. I turn around and all these cops are outside. You're right, it was like, bam! I blink my eyes are they're there. Everybody starts going apeshit. Then Mr. Blonde starts shootin' all the -
-That's not correct.
-What's wrong with it?
-The cops didn't show up after the alarm went off. They didn't show till after Mr. Blonde started shooting everyone.
-As soon as I heard the alarm, I saw the cops.
-I'm telling ya, it wasn't that soon. They didn't let their presence be known until after Mr. Blonde went off. I'm not sayin' they weren't there, I'm sayin' they were there. But they didn't move in till Mr. Blonde became a madman. That's how I know we were set up. You can see that, can't you, Mr. White?
-Look, enough of this "Mr White" shit -
-Don't tell me your name, I don't want to know! I sure as hell ain't gonna tell ya mine.
-You're right, this is bad. How did you get out?
-Tagged a couple of cops. Did you kill anybody?
-A few cops.
-No real people?
-Uh-uh, just cops.
-Could you believe Mr. Blonde?
-That was one of the most insane fucking things I've ever seen. Why the fuck would Joe hire somebody like that?
-I don't wanna kill anybody. But if I gotta get out that door, and you're standing in my way, one way of the other, you're gettin' outta my way.
-That's the way I look at it. A choice between doin' ten years, and takin' out some stupid motherfucker, ain't no choice at all. But I ain't no madman either. What the fuck was Joe thinkin'? You can't work with a guy like that. That motherfucker's unstable. What do you think? Do you think he panicked, or ya think he's just trigger-happy?
-I think he's a sick fuckin' maniac! We're awful goddamn lucky he didn't tag us, when he shot up the place. I came this fucking close - to taking his ass out myself. Everybody panics. When things get tense, everybody panics. Everybody. I don't care what your name is, you can't help it. It's human nature. But ya panic on the inside. Ya panic
-What you're supposed to do is act like a fuckin' professional. A psychopath is not a professional. You can't work with a psychopath, 'cause ya don't know what those sick assholes are gonna do next. I mean, Jesus Christ, how old do you think that black girl was? Twenty, maybe twenty-one?
-Did ya see what happened to anybody else?
-Me and Mr. Orange jumped in the car and Mr. Brown floored it. After that, I don't know what went down.
-At that point it became every man for himself. As far as Mr. Blonde or Mr. Blue are concerned, I ain't got the foggiest. Once I got out, I never looked back.
-What do you think?
-What do I think? I think the cops caught them, or killed 'em.
-Not even a chance they punched through? You found a hole.
-Yeah, and that was a fucking miracle. But if they did get away, where the fuck are they?
-You don't think it's possible, one of them got a hold of the diamonds and pulled a -
-Nope.
-How can you be so sure?
-I got the diamonds.
-Where?
-I got 'em, all right?
-Where? Are they out in the car?
-No, they're not in the car. No, I don't have them on me. Ya wanna go with me and get 'em? Yes, we can go right now. But first listen to what I'm telling you. We were fuckin' set up! Somebody is in league with the cops. We got a Judas in our midst. And I'm thinkin' we should have our fuckin' heads examined
-That was the plan, we meet here.
-Then where is everybody? I say the plan became null and void once we found out we got a rat in the house. We ain't got the slightest fuckin' idea what happened to Mr. Blonde or Mr. Blue. They could both be dead or arrested. They could be sweatin' 'em, down at the station house right now. Yeah they don't know the names, but
-I swear to god I'm fuckin' jinxed.
-What?
-Two jobs back, it was a four man job, we discovered one of the team was an undercover cop.
-No shit?
-Thank god, we discovered in time. We hadda forget the whole fuckin' thing. Just walked away from it.
-So who's the rat this time? Mr. Blue? Mr. Blonde? Joe? It's Joe's show, he set this whole thing up. Maybe he set it up to set it up.
-I don't buy it. Me and Joe go back a long time. I can tell ya straight up, Joe definitely didn't have anything to do with this bullshit.
-Oh, you and Joe go back a long time. I known Joe since I was a kid. But me saying Joe definitely couldn't have done it is ridiculous. I can say I definitely didn't do it, cause I know what I did or didn't do. But I can't definitely say that about anybody else, 'cause I don't definitely know. For all I know, you're
-For all I know, you're the rat.
-Now you're using your head. For all we know, he's the rat.
-That kid in there is dying from a fuckin' bullet that I saw him take. So don't be calling him a rat.
-I gotta take a squirt, where's the commode in this dungeon?
-So, is he dead or what?
-He ain't dead.
-So what is it?
-I think he's just passed out.
-He will be dead fer sure, if we don't get him to a hospital.
-We can't take him to a hospital.
-Without medical attention, this man won't live through the night. That bullet in his belly is my fault. Now while that might not mean jack shit to you, it means a helluva lot to me. And I'm not gonna just sit around and watch him die.
-Well, first things first, staying here's goofy. We gotta book up.
-So what do you suggest, we go to a hotel? We got a guy who's shot in the belly, he can't walk, he bleeds like a stuck pig, and when he's awake, he screams in pain.
-You gotta idea, spit it out.
-Assuming we can trust Joe, how we gonna get in touch with him? He's supposed to be here, but he ain't, which is making me nervous about being here. Even if Joe is on the up and up, he's probably not gonna be that happy with us. Joe planned a robbery, but he's got a blood bath on his hands now. Dead cops, dead
-Before you got here, Mr. Orange was askin' me to take him to a hospital. Now I don't like turning him over to the cops, but if we don't, he's dead. He begged me to do it. I told him to hold off till Joe got here.
-Well Joe ain't gettin' here. We're on our own. Now, I don't know a goddamn body who can help him, so if you know somebody, call 'em.
-I don't know anybody.
-Well, I guess we drop him off at the hospital. Since he don't know nothin' about us, I say it's his decision.
-Well, he knows a little about me.
-You didn't tell him your name, did ya?
-Why!
-I told him where I was from a few days ago. It was just a casual conversation.
-And what was tellin him your name when you weren't supposed to?
-We had just gotten away from the cops. He just got shot. It was my fuckin' fault he got shot. He's a fuckin' bloody mess - he's screaming. I swear to god, I thought we was gonna die right then and there. I'm tryin' to comfort him, telling him not to worry, he's gonna be okay, I'm gonna take care of him. And he
-Oh, I don't doubt is was quite beautiful -
-Don't fuckin' patronize me.
-One question: Do they have a sheet on you, where you told him you're from?
-Of course.
-Well that's that, then. I mean, I was worried about mug shot possibilities already. But now he knows: what you look like, what your first name is, where you're from and what your specialty is. They ain't gonna hafta show him a helluva lot of pictures for him to pick you out. That's it right, you didn't tell him anything else that could narrow
-We ain't taking him to a hospital.
-If we don't, he'll die.
-And I'm very sad about that. But some fellas are lucky, and some ain't.
-You wanna shoot me, you little piece of shit? Take a shot!
-He got it in the belly. He's still alive, but won't be for long.
-Is that supposed to be funny?
-We don't think this place is safe.
-Both of you two assholes knock it the fuck off and calm down!
-So you wanna git bit, huh?
-Cut the bullshit, we ain't on a fuckin' playground! I don't believe this shit, both of you got ten years on me, and I'm the only one actin like a professional. You guys act like a bunch of fuckin' niggers. You ever work a job with a bunch of niggers? They're just like you two, always fightin', always sayin' they're gonna kill one another.
-You said yourself, you thought about takin' him out.
-Then. That time has passed. Right now, Mr. Blonde is the only one I completely trust. He's too fuckin' homicidal to be workin' with the cops.
-You takin' his side?
-I told ya he'd be pissed.
-He seems all right now, but he went crazy in the store.
-...Hey, I know what I'm talkin' about, black women ain't the same as white women.
-Okay, Mr. Expert. If this is such a truism, how come every nigger I know treats his woman like a piece of shit?
-I'll make you a bet that those same damn niggers who were showin' their ass in public, when their bitches get 'em home, they chill the fuck out.
-Not these guys.
-Who cares what your name is? Who cares if you're Mr. Pink, Mr. Purple, Mr. Pussy, Mr. Piss...
-Hello Graham -- Joe -- Mr. Gardner.
-You should be. Maybe Lednov heard about that Sonora ranch of yours.
-Maybe he did.
-We're going to look for him. Want to come along?
-I've got eleven horses to get over the mountains before snow catches me and covers the feed.
-And that's more important than finding Lednov?
-Who shot who?
-What's she doin' runnin' around the country at night.
-I wouldn't know. Did you ask her?
-All I can get out of her is she don't care about livin'.
-Look of things, she doesn't.
-You don't know how good it is to see you.
-Tell them to come on in.
-But I'm going to have to leave 'em here. They're --- well they're not the sort of people you're used to.
-It doesn't matter who they are.
-And one of 'em is sick.
-Anybody hurt?
-What's the matter with her?
-This must have been in the family a long time.
-And this is Helen Carter.
-Yes, ma'am.
-As far as -- Sonora?
-They won't be riding in the wagon.
-Did you ever try taking a bunch of horses over Sonora Pass? It's quite a job.
-You can't leave us here.
-What good is it going to do us to go to some ranch?
-You can stay here if you like.
-We have to get to Sonora. There are jobs waiting for us there. We'll pay you for your trouble.
-Our kind of women?
-What's the matter with her?
-And this is Helen Carter.
-So am I.
-Thanks. And isn't there something we can do about supper -- or making the beds?
-Steve and me, we use a saddle for a pillow and roll up in a tarp.
-But you eat, don't you?
-Mostly, we open a can of beans and boil some coffee.
-Where do you keep the can opener?
-Of course it'll work. You can get another girl to fill out the act.
-If you were in his shoes would you take one of us home?
-Steve maybe you better get some wood for the fire.
-Would you, Mr. Phillips?
-There's a nice boy.
-Yeah.
-Like what?
-Get back to the horses. They're straggling.
-He's learning his letters.
-Learnin' to read has nothing to do with the right or the wrong side of the street.
-Are the horses stragglin' or aren't they?
-They're stragglin'.
-But the nearest shelter's the Wyatt ranch and that's maybe five hours away.
-Can we get a doctor at that ranch?
-So that was why she tried to run away.
-Didn't you know she had a father and mother out here?
-I didn't know anything about her except she wanted a job because some man had left her stranded. I couldn't leave her in the street. Let's go.
-Hold on.
-We can't stay here!
-Coffee?
-No, thanks. I hope we won't be a burden to them.
-I'm sorry, but that's how it's got to be.
-I suppose it is.
-You don't have to explain. Did I tell you how grateful I am for what you've done?
-I couldn't leave you sitting by the road.
-I hope you get everything you want out of life --
-Thanks.
-You've earned it -- the horse ranch on the Toulomoe -- the girl in the spotted gingham.
-The who?
-Ever since you've looked after Steve you've had the dream -- a ranch on the river -- good grass, good water, barn corral and house --- that part you've shared with Steve. The girl in gingham you plan sneakin' in when he isn't looking.
-Go on. Tell me more about her.
-She wears this gingham dress -- cooks popovers -- makes jam in season -- makes her own soap from pig fat and wood ashes and has cheeks the color of red apples.
-I'll make the soap myself.
-But the rest is right.
-Will she be dark or fair?
-He knows his alphabet.
-Are we leaving?
-Better go on back and get some more sleep. You'll need it later on.
-You're not going out to look for them?
-Don't you trust me?
-Why did you change your mind about bringing us along?
-Why do you think?
-I don't know. I thought I did. Now I'm not sure. I thought it had something to do with me.
-You know so much about me -- figure it out.
-You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you?
-You should have. I don't like leaving things unfinished.
-Maybe it's better that way.
-Tell me, darling.
-What?
-What did you expect? Speeches I don't mean?
-I'm awake now. Go on. Say what you want to say. I'll listen.
-If it's pretty speeches you want, you won't be hearing them. Even when I mean 'em, they don't come easy.
-Save 'em for the girl in gingham. Just tell me I'm not good enough for you. Go on. Say a woman like me can't change.
-All right -- it's said!
-No, I'm not all right. I'm soaked and I hit myself against that rock.
-All my clothes --
-Go on, take it. Then you can't spend the rest of the trip expecting to get paid.
-So grab yourself some sleep while you have the chance.
-If you want to go on, I can make it all right.
-I won't have you fighting over me.
-Maybe it isn't going to Sonora, but it's going somewhere, which is all right with me.
-It's going to Sonora.
-Some of 'em you didn't mean but most of 'em you did. I don't blame you because I understand your way of thinking and why you think that way. You want your women on pedestals. But they have to be born on 'em -- they can fall off but they can't climb back up.
-I can't change either. Not unless somebody wants me enough to give me a hand.
-I'm fool enough to believe that one of these days somebody will. Somebody who wants me as I am will maybe walk into the place where I'm working and take me out of there.
-Goodbye. Thanks for the lift.
-Goodbye, Mary.
-Thanks for taking over.
-Thanks for loading me on the stage. I know now why you did it.
-Where you going?
-That job you were talkin' about, did you get it yet?
-Why?
-Because... well, you said you wanted a man to think enough of you to walk in the place you were working and take you out of there... tonight I was sort of tied up with Steve... but tomorrow I figured on doing just that.
-Drop yours. I'm gunshy.
-Then don't come sneakin' around a man's camp.
-I found their surrey --
-So did I. They were in it.
-Here's a man says he's looking for you girls.
-I -- lost something.
-Stretch out under the seat, Miss.
-Which ranch?
-I can't --
-You've got to -- don't you understand -- they want me with them and they'll fix it so I have to go --
-How does she draw?
-That's right.
-Who's Lednov?
-You might tell a fellow things, 'specially if the fellow's your brother, seems to me.
-Like why you're buyin' a whole slew of 30 30 shells all of a sudden.
-I don't want to run short.
-You never said this Lednov's name before, that I can remember.
-No call to. That jail looked pretty solid to me. How's she feel?
-But it's leaded up and anyway a 22's no good for real huntin'. You shoot a man with a 22 and where are you?
-What was he in jail for?
-You sure worry that bone. He killed a fellow.
-In a fight?
-The other fellow wasn't even lookin'.
-You must be plenty worried about Lednov sneakin' up on us. Think he will?
-Yes.
-At the ranch maybe?
-Maybe at the ranch. Maybe sooner than that.
-Do you have to be so close-mouthed? I'm your brother. And I'm ridin' with you. Remember?
-That's Lednov! We come along here.
-And meet him there.
-Sure a lot of guys lookin' for Lednov.
-Yeah -- and Lednov's only lookin' for one man. Me.
-Why?
-He doesn't like me. What you eatin'?
-They sure must have been travelin'. This keeps up we can start a store.
-I've got eleven horses.
-Where'd they go?
-There was only three of them at first. I guess I lost my head.
-How'd you happen to miss?
-They were quite a ways off and the wind was blowin'. I didn't have them to aim.
-A man can't help gettin' excited once in a while.
-That's right, Steve.
-Can I have my gun back?
-It's all right with me if she teaches you, but I don't want you forgettin' your job.
-Okeh, I was wrong. But you can't expect a fellow who never saw Lednov and never heard his name until a while ago to do too much worryin'. You've been sorta close mouthed about him.
-I guess I have. You were pretty little when they locked him up. I don't suppose you even remember that time I was gone two months.
-Sure I remember. You went to Mexico lookin' for cattle.
-You remember Jeff Rawson? -- We used to go fishing and hunting with him when you were so high.
-Sure I do. Went off down to Mexico or something...
-That's what I told you then. Only he didn't. Lednov killed him.
-Oh... that's the time you went away.
-I caught up with Lednov in Nogales. He didn't like the idea of comin' back across the border but he came. I turned him over to the sheriff and -- that's the story.
-Maybe you shoulda killed him.
-Maybe I should. But I was never much on killin'. Anyway, he moved too quick and I just got him through the shoulder. Looks pretty peaceful up ahead.
-Yeah, it does.
-Leaving them here when we could just as well take them. We got plenty of room in the wagon. And -- and -- they cook and drive the mules. They don't bother anybody.
-Finished, son?
-Don't go arguing with your teacher.
-I'm not, but there's some of it I don't see any sense to.
-Want the wagon unloaded, Clay?
-I didn't stop to think, Clay.
-All right, I hurt your feelings. But you know better than to go lightin' fires.
-Come on. We got a couple hours to eat and get some sleep.
-I'll eat when I'm good and ready.
-Kind of feeling your oats this morning. I haven't laid a hand on you for quite a while, but that doesn't mean you're too old.
-Go on, hit me.
-Sit down and eat. Till I say the word, you're doing what you're told.
-You oughta say you're sorry -- that's what you oughta do.
-You keep your nose out of my life, young fella.
-I said keep your nose out of my life. No kid is going to tell me how to run it.
-You know what she asked me?
-I don't care what she asked you.
-It is so your fault and... and I guess maybe when we hit the ranch... you andme better...
-Half of them are mine.
-What did you come back for?
-Is that the only reason you came back?
-Sure. What other reason would there be?
-How's that?
-Kind of sore.
-You'll live.
-Guess maybe I'm old enough to hold my own in a fight, huh?
-Yeah -- but don't make a habit of it.
-So -- maybe I'm old enough to tell you how to run your life?
-I guess so -- but don't make a habit of it.
-You can light the lamp. I'm sure glad it's you. We were afraid those killers might come back.
-Yeah, how did you know?
-I'm sorry about this, Mr. Wyatt. I didn't know who she was.
-All right, you didn't know.
-I can't take her with me.
-You're not bein' quite fair.
-I'm sorry about this, Mr. Wyatt. I didn't know you had a daughter.
-All right, you didn't know.
-I can't take her with me.
-You're not bein' quite fair.
-You can't stay here. There's snakes and it's cold and you'll just get sicker.
-I don't care.
-Suppose that Lednov was to have found you, instead of me. Why you wouldn't have had a chance.
-I said I didn't care.
-Runnin' off and worryin' people. Makin' it tougher on Clay than it is already.
-Don't ask me because I won't tell you! I won't tell anybody! Go away!
-Don't act so -- crazy.
-I'm sorry. Let's go.
-Helen -- why don't you and Mary go on with Clay?
-He won't take us. Don't you want us around?
-Of course I do -- but it'd be better for you -- and the house is kind of small --
-If you're worried about Mary and me talkin' too much, don't. No matter how many questions your old man asks. We know how to keep our mouths shut.
-It isn't that --
-Don't talk -- eat -- we want to get you well quick as we can so we can all get out of here.
-But I want to stay.
-I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying here where I belong.
-Not if I know Mary. When she rides into Sonora, you'll be with her. And mighty glad to be there after this. I don't see how you stood it as long as you did.
-Stop it -- stop it.
-Go away -- please.
-She mustn't -- don't you let her --
-There, there. Don't you upset yourself --
-You got no business snoopin' around --
-That something I shouldn't see?
-What is it?
-Just a thing I was workin' on.
-Go on. Take your bath. I'll beat it.
-That sure smells good.
-I like it.
-Up here in the hills, a man gets a hankering to smell powder.
-You're sure there's more where this came from?
-I figure we'll get along just fine.
-I saw your fire and dropped by to say hello.
-What's the matter -- restless?
-Yes, people make me restless.
-Even women?
-There aren't any women here.
-I suppose that's your wagon in the river.
-Some people who went by this way lost it. Two men and some women. They packed their stuff on horses and went on.
-And you're all alone.
-Suppose I take a look.
-When I ask questions, I like to hear answers.
-Until you came along we were going to Sonora.
-What do you know about that. Did you sell your place?
-Not exactly. They decided gambling and dancing were bad for people. Can I make it?
-There you are. Now take it easy and you'll be all right.
-Aspen doesn't want us Mr. Graham. They threw us out.
-They shouldn't have done that.
-We tried to point that out. But there were some pretty nosey citizens who wouldn't listen to reason. They said Aspen had outgrown us. It's all right to play poker in your own home but not in a saloon.
-Goodbye and thanks.
-Maybe you're going about this all wrong. Why not try telling him we'll do the cookin' and mendin' and washin' for him. That usually works. Yeah, but suppose he took us up on it. Where would we be?
-You think that's all we busted -- You should see...
-With a milk pail in one hand and a marriage license in the other.
-It isn't like this was the first place we were ever thrown out of.
-That's not what's worryin' me. Why didn't she tell us? Maybe we could have done somethin' -- gone somewhere else -- puttin' a poor sick kid through this --
-I tried my best, but these things take time.
-And we're running out of that.
-How long do you think we'll have to stay here?
-Until Pa gets around to driving us to Minden.
-We don't want to go there.
-No we don't. But that's where we're going. From Minden we take a stage to Reno, then another one over to Auburn and another one to Placerville. Then it's a day's trip to Sonora.
-Clay could save us an awful lot of time.
-He certainly could. About a month.
-You're not giving up?
-Maybe I better start working on him.
-Go on. Have another try at him.
-What's the use.
-We might as well start a fire.
-Give it back to him. We're leavin'.
--- Gaslights and a dance floor and a big bar. Cash registers with bells and a couple of boys with armbands just to keep 'em ringing. What do you think of that?
-I'm sure of this. But not of you. You won't open any joint. I've been watching you change. You're mad now and you think you can change back. But you can't. You'll end up making beds in a boarding house.
-Mary, Honey. I talked too much, like always -- he thinks you told Elaine the things I told her.
-How do you know who we are?
-Everybody knows --
-You said somebody was comin' back -- who's comin' back?
-Clay Phillips.
-Where is he?
-How far up the trail?
-We got to get movin'.
-What for?
-Because there's a man I want to see.
-I said let's go.
-One night more won't matter. Your friend'll be there. Anyway I don't think so much of the idea of prowling around his ranch. He knows you're out so he ain't going to sit still for it.
-We got company. Female company.
-Why, yes. They're all I need...
-He dropped a shoe. You shouldn't be ridin' him.
-Put on another one.
-That won't help the stone bruise. You ain't been around horses much, looks like.
-What are you doin' --
-Pleased to meet you, ma'am. We found your trunk. Were you doin' the driven'?
-Is that your kind of reading, Steve?
-Your brother's always looked after you, hasn't he?
-Since I can remember, Ma'am.
-It wasn't Clay's fault. We've been moving around most all the time -- mebbe when we get the ranch and stay in one place I can learn my letters then --
-Would you like to learn them?
-I sure would.
-Maybe I could start you out.
-You're so nice.
-Did someone say I wasn't nice?
-Good night, Miss Wells.
-Gee, I can't.
-Why not? You went farther than that last time.
-I'm too old for it, Miss Wells... That's for little kids.
-Don't be silly... Nobody's too old to learn.
-Aren't we stayin'?
-What comes after Z?
-That's the end of the line.
-Then I know my alphabet.
-And that's tough, isn't it?
--- and even if I do learn to read, what use'll it be? I'm goin' to live on a ranch!
-U-n-i-c-o-r-n-... What in heck's that?
-Unicorn -- a kind of animal --
-What do they look like?
-Hmmm... sort of like a horse -- with a horn in the center of its forehead.
-Horses with horns! Huh! Do we have 'em in Nevada?
-No.
-How about California?
-Would they be good to eat?
-Kind of tough, I guess... But you're not liable to hunt them -- I don't think there's any alive now, anyways -- and I'm not sure but I don't think there ever were...
-An' if you can't hunt 'em and even if you could they'd be tough, what's the use of knowin' how to spell them?
-You don't read to fill your stomach... Poetry, for instance. All the poems in the world wouldn't fill you half as much as a bowl of eatmeal -- but they make you feel good.
-Well, Steve?
-Nobody's gonna catch him sleeping. Don't worry about him.
-Sometimes not knowin' how to read has its points. You can't read books so you look at people and figure 'em out.
-And you've got me all figured out?
-Like when you were standin' there looking after Clay. I knew right off what you were thinking. Because I've been watching you.
-You were supposed to be reading words.
-Don't pay any attention to him. That's his way and I've found he's sure easy to get along with. I don't recollect him havin' hit me more'n a couple of times and I guess I had it comin'.
-But you're his brother.
-She was only teasin'.
-Oh, sure.
-For the last ten miles I've been trying to figure out how to sleep sitting up. I'm getting to the point where I don't think there's any place named Sonora.
-You stretch out. I'll fix something to eat.
-You don't know what it is to be sorry.
-Goodnight.
-Goodnight, Miss Wells.
-Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine. I just broke up with my boyfriend, that's all.
-That's always tough. How long were you together?
-Well, we never made it official, so I guess we were technically never really boyfriend and girlfriend, but I was seeing him in school. I saw him at the mall about six months ago and I was too nervous to introduce myself so I followed him to his car, and jotted down the license plate number. It was registered to his mother, so I
-Brenda was right. There's more to the story than the Professor told us. I found a secret room. It had all these news clippings about Hugh Kane. He was a very evil man.
-Ah, they just don't know you the way I do.
-I found a picture of his wife.
-Oh, he was a widower. Why didn't you say that?... Don't worry, sweetie, I can whip up a new batch in a flash.
-I think he wants me.
-No, I won't let you do it.
-Alex, what are you doing?
-Hey, Brenda.
-Do I know you?
-Me, too. 101?
-In room "302" at ten o'clock?
-That's it.
-And remember that trip we took to Africa? That safari was so wonderful. Me, you... best of friends... forever.
-Uh, Alex, we've only know each other one day.
-Oh... I guess I'll die now.
-Oh, remember that time I got my training bra and you --
-My favorite memory was when we --
-We already know each other. Hey, Brenda.
-Hey, Cindy. Your friend needs help.
-Actually, I just met her. This is Alex.
-Oh my god. Madam Elsa, my psychic, told me I would meet somebody whose name starts with a letter of the alphabet today.
-Really? That's amazing.
-Hey girl, that jacket is slamming.
-Thanks.
-You better be careful. I heard some girl got her ass whooped and jacket stolen earlier today. Hey, what class do we have next?
-Ouch!!
-Brenda, are you okay? Come sit.
-Help!
-Oh my God! We're dead!
-It's coming!
-Hey, look, I'm Wilma Flintstone.
-Oh my God, the ghost has Buddy! Brenda do something!
-Cindy, what's going on?
-This house was built in 1898 by a man named Archibald Keaton as a gift to his wife, Cora.
-Yes, I feel their spirits. Cora... Keaton... I am here to communicate...
-No, they sold the house in 1920 to a millionaire, Uriah Bloodworth.
-Yes, of course, Uriah. I feel his evil presence.
-No, he lost the house after the stock market crash.
-But he could still be haunting the house. He's angry that he had to leave.
-Hello Brenda.
-Shhh... It's okay.
-Ray, have you been here all this time?
-I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
-I'm fine. Just a few bruises.
-So, I guess I can go now.
-No, stay.
-You sure?
-Yeah, I think I'll feel better sleeping in the arms of a strong man.
-Are you okay? I thought I heard screaming.
-He's right. I should go first.
-Where's Shorty?
-Ray, run faster.
-Hey, you left your book back there.
-So, I see you're really into spooks.
-No. I never date outside my race.
-I meant you're into ghosts.
-Oh, yeah. I'm just curious about that kind of stuff.
-So it looks like we're going to be spending the weekend together.
-Yeah.
-Maybe we can study together or something.
-But, hey, maybe we can be friends.
-Sure, that would be cool. Friends.
-Hi Buddy.
-You know, Buddy, about this friendship thing...
-Yeah, it's great, isn't it. I think it's so cool... have a girl as a friend.
-That's just it, Buddy. I'm a girl. You can't be so rough with me.
-Then what kinda stuff can we do?
-Gentle stuff like talking, sharing thoughts and ideas, secrets and past experiences. Stuff like that, you know.
-It sounds gay, but guess since you're a girl it's okay, huh?
-Yeah, it will be fine. I wanna check something out. Will you come with me?
-Sure. We can practice talking.
-Buddy...
-Dude, somebody's on the rag.
-Whoa, check this out. She looks like you.
-Wow, she's beautiful. You really think she looks like me?
-Oh yeah... another difference is she looks more sophisticated and classy. More feminine. And her tits are perfect. Not pointy and funny looking, or spaced too far apart...
-Where the hell are we?
-It looks like the furnace.
-Let's get outta here.
-Well, if that's Hanson, then who's the guy with the hand?
-Yeah, I think I'm bleeding.
-Cindy, I've been thinking about this whole friend thing. I never had a friend that cares for me the way you do... I mean, there's Ray, but he cares for me in a different way. You know, bringing me flowers. Running my bath water. And then there's nights I wake up screaming and I look over and Ray's in my bed. Holding me. And
-That we should take our friendship a little further?
-Yes...
-Oh, Buddy, I was thinking the same thing. It might be our last night in this house. And I think we should take full advantage of it.
-We should act out our inner most fantasies.
-Great!!!
-Like, I've always wanted to walk on the moon.
-What about you, Buddy?
-He's here.
-What are we gonna do? I'm cold. I can't move, I'm so cold.
-Can you feel that?
-Feel that?
-Better try a little higher.
-Now, come on -- you know I'm not ready for that kind of --
-Cindy, please! It's a matter of life and death. I'm asking you a friend.
-Cindy, let me...
-No, Buddy, I'm the one he wants.
-There's something I really want to share with you.
-Cindy, about this whole friendship thing...
-Yeah, I know, I just love having a guy for a friend.
-I know, but I've been thinking --
-I know, but I've been thinking --
-Listen to me I --
-Listen to me I --
-Look, what I'm trying to say --
-Stop it! I'm just trying to say I think we should take our friendship to the next level.
-Oh.
-I don't want to be your friend like this anymore.
-Then what are we going to do?
-You know, walking on the beach, holding hands, kissing, making love...
-That sounds kinda gay, but since you're a guy, I guess it's okay.
-Hey, look out, a bee!
-Oh, Buddy, I've never had someone be so protective of me!
-Hey, wanna' share a soda?
-Oh, Buddy, that's so romantic.
-What should we get?
-I don't care. You pick.
-Are you okay?
-I think so.
-No, I just heard the commotion, and when I got there I guess it was gone.
-Good-night, Cin. I'll be next door if you need me.
-Okay, I get the point.
-So, whatever happened to her?
-Let her go, Cin.
-But he'll kill her!
-I'm sorry, I should have been watching where I...
-It's okay.
-Oh, my God, Ray! What are you doing here?
-It's the sequel.
-Oh, right.
-Listen, no need for you to worry. All that stuff that happened before is behind us. Let's just try to move on.
-How about these buns?
-Come in somebody. Can you hear me?
-This is Ray. What's up? Where are you?
-The ghost is close. He almost got us. Buddy is hurt.
-What's your location? I repeat, what's your location?
-Where's Shorty?
-Ray, you saved my life. Are you okay?
-Oh my God! I'm here with the...
-I'm Cindy.
-Ummm!! They smell delicious.
-Morphine? chloroform? Horse tranquilizers? You've drugged him!
-Hanson, please.
-Stop touching his brain!
-Tell me, Cindy. Would you ever tell me "Stop. If you loved me you'd stop."
-Stop! --
-It was you...
-Yes, it was me all along. I killed Hugh Kane and his mistress.
-Both of them?
-Didn't I just say that? Fucking listen. Anyway, I did it all for Carolyn. He never appreciated her, but I worshipped that woman and still she rejected me. So, I came back for you. Just like I did for Carolyn.
-This can't be happening?
-Noooo!!!
-Would you like me to help you pass them back?
-What the hell are you doing?
-He won't let us go. He's going to kill us.
-What are we gonna do?
-Someone is going to have to lure him onto the platform.
-Cool, but remember, as soon as he gets on the platform you gotta get out of there. Nobody wants to go.
-Father!
-My child, you're alive!
-Yes, we made it!
-We? What do you mean... we?
-Me and my friends... You see there was this ghost. He came out of nowhere and....
-My child you are the only survivor.
-I'm sorry.
-Father, I don't understand. Tell me what happened?
-So, do you think you made it into the class?
-I don't know, but I sure hope so.
-You could use the grade, huh?
-Nah, I need a place to stay. So how do you like being in college?
-Okay, I guess. It's so intimidating. You know being away from home, not knowing anyone. I feel like such a geek sometimes. Everyone's so cool and I'm so not.
-Aww, you ain't that bad. You just need a little flava. First thing we gotta do is get you some new gear.
-Huh?
-Gear. You know, clothing.
-Oh.
-Left, right, left, right, crossover kick...
-Yo! That jacket is tight.
-Yeah, now go uhn, uhn, uhn!
-Uhn! Uhn! Uhn!
-Am I cool now?
-Aww, the little bird died.
-Yeah, I didn't know what else to do.
-That was a great idea, Shorty.
-Did you do that?
-Uh, uh.
-She'd have to be really pretty and I'd have to be very drunk.
-I'm going to work in Washington, Cindy.
-Are you?
-Hey, y'all! What's going on?
-Shorty! You're alive!! But... what about your head?
-Professor, is this the same house that a young girl was possessed by a demon or something?
-Professor, what's the history of this house?
-Alright, Cindy, what's so important?
-Yippie! Wasn't that amazing?
-It's some kind of energy field. We better record this.
-I got it!
-I'm telling you, it was possessed.
-No, I'm just saying cats are known to be very territorial animals, and it is likely it did attack, but it doesn't mean it was possessed. Maybe the two of you should sleep together.
-What are you getting at, Professor?
-Good idea, and don't forget to give her a good-night kiss.
-Got a problem with that?
-I take it you're not mad at me.
-I don't like this, this...
-I think she's starting to suspect something?
-Oh, my God. It happened right here. She came home. She saw them.
-Saw who?!
-I finished all the interviews.
-Let me see the files.
-Let me help you.
-Here you go, Professor.
-Yes. The scored all over the Kiersey Temperament Sorter just like you asked for.
-I also took the liberty of putting those with near-death experiences on top.
-Good thinking, Dwight. Traumatized co-eds are a sure thing.
-As I am sure you are aware, Professor, subjects who are close to death are statistically more likely to have the suggestibility required for paranormal investigation, which is, of course, why I've given them special consideration.
-Look, whatever you say, kid, but the more they're hurtin', the more they need a squirtin', if you know what I mean. Ooh, I like her.
-Cindy Campbell. Classic abandoned personality disorder. She seems guarded, but willing to do this.
-Willing? I like that. And, this one?
-That's Ray Williams. I couldn't quite figure him out, but he seemed very eager and excited when we met.
-Car accident, gun shot, multiple stabbings, a hook through the back... Where did you find these kids?
-They are the survivors of the Steveston County massacre.
-Fantastic. These kids are exactly the kind of catalyst needed to awaken Hell House.
-How are we going to get them all up there?
-I'll make it part of the class. We'll tell them they're participating in a study on sleep disorders.
-And what happens when all hell breaks loose?
-We record and document it. We're gonna make history, Dwight. The first documented, unrefuted evidence of life after death. The book sales alone will be worth millions. I'll be rich, and you my friend, will have one hell of a thesis paper. Now, what time is orientation?
-In about fifteen minutes.
-I have taken care of everything, including medical supplies and blood storage. We want to be safe.
-Right. What about condoms?
-Professor!
-Hey, you're the one who brought up safety. I'm perfectly willing to go in raw.
-Would you please focus?
-Fine. What's all this stuff?
-Are those cameras all throughout the house?
-Yes, I thought that it would be best.
-So, if one of our little chickadees is taking a shower which one of these buttons do I press to get a close- up?
-That one.
-I'm going to change for dinner. I'll see you shortly.
-Not to worry. There's been no reported activity in the house for over twenty years.
-Let's not forget, folks, this is a study on sleep disorders.
-My God! Is she dead?
-Professor, I think you should see this.
-What is it? Some tits? A beaver shot? What?
-The image there.
-Are you sure it's not the tape?
-I don't think so. It's on all the cameras, and check this out. The thermal readings inside the house dropped ten degrees when the image was recorded.
-What the hell?!
-Professor, we need to talk.
-What is it, Dwight?
-I think we should consider cutting the experiment short.
-What?
-The force in this house is far greater than I anticipated. In one night I recorded cold spots, shifting magnetic fields, the E.U.P. is picking up white sounds everywhere.
-That's why we came here, remember?
-Yes, but I've seen the tapes. This poltergeist is becoming increasingly more violent. We all could be in danger. I say we pull the plug.
-I can do it myself.
-Yeah, I can see that. Later I want you to teach me that trick, but right now we have a job to do.
-Hello Dwight.
-What are you working on?
-Work, work, work. Is that all that you do?
-The Professor might have everyone else fooled, but I know who the real brains of the operation is.
-You do.
-That's what turns me on about you, Dwight. You're so smart.
-And sexy.
-Ooh, you hair is so soft and silky. What do you use on it?
-You know, Dwight, I hear you're the only one who has the key to the gate.
-That's right.
-What if I wanted to borrow those keys?
-She's right. We should stick together.
-Excuse me, sir, but the students have started to arrive. Dinner will be ready shortly.
-Thanks, handyman.
-Who's first? Anyone like a wing?
-Yours, or the turkeys?
-I supposed you'd like a leg. How about two?
-It's the best seat in the house. I warmed it up for you.
-You never could feel your legs.
-Alright... I might need your help.
-My help?
-A little bit... Give me your belt.
-I'm not even wearing any drawers. Forget about a belt.
-You're not wearing a belt.
-You mean to tell me we're dead!
-Uh... I'm Father McFeely
-I'm so glad you're here.
-I came as fast as I could, but at my age the little soldier needs a lot more thumpin before it starts pumpin. If I tickle my ass before...
-It's okay. I understand.
-How is she?
-She's gotten worse, Father. She won't eat, she won't talk. The child won't even let me touch her.
-Father.
-Would you like to see the girl?
-Father, are you okay?
-Yeah, but you might wanna light a match before you go in there. Did you bring my bag?
-Yes.
-Remember, don't ask her too many questions.
-Because she will lie?
-Oh shit, you gonna take that?
-What?
-No thanks.
-Father, I think you should rest.
-Sit down and join us, Cindy.
-Now you're being rude, Shorty.
-Yo son, check this out.
-Sorry, y'all. My bad.
-Shorty, why don't you say grace?
-This part removes the sense of humor.
-I woke up naked, too.
-Hey, dude, you got a tattoo.
-What does it say?
-It says, "Ray."
-Sweet. Hey, you got a tattoo, too.
-Get out?! What does it say?
-"Fucked me."
-"Ray!"
-"Fucked me."
-"Ray!"
-Yo' Tommy, what up, man?
-I'm totally freakin' dude. I keep having these nightmares, then I wake up screaming with these awful back spasms. I can't take it anymore, man.
-Aww, man. You just need to chill out. Come on, there's this party tonight it's gonna be fun. Lot's of alcohol and honeys.
-Alright, but I ain't drinking. and you're gonna have to look after me.
-BLOOD FEAST!
-Hi, Mom.
-Oh, boy!
-Bye, Mrs, Sutphin.
-Did you hear?
-What happened?
-What a bitch!
-It's the influence of all those family films. Right, Mom? Hey, Mom??...
-Mrs. Sutphin?
-Mother?
-0h, shit!
-You don't think...
-...Jenner... Jenson, Emy Lou Jenson. 3511 Clark Avenue!
-I saw blood! And it's brown! Not red like in horror movies, but brown!!
-Is MOM... in there?
-Bring her home... I guess.
-I wouldn't give ya a nickel.
-Here we go again.
-Hi!
-I can't believe Mr. Stubbins is dead.
-You said you hated him.
-I'm not kidding. Carl stood me up this morning and then he was murdered at the flea market....
-MURDERED?!!
-Yes murdered! You said you hated your teacher yesterday and he was murdered too. I don't know... maybe Mom's nuts!
-How about Mrs. Ackerman? We both hate her! Should she be the next victim?
-DAD! YOU DON'T THINK SHE DID IT??!
-Turn right on Timonioum Road. Hurry, Dad!
-Just a little, please. Bad for the teeth.
-You'd probably date him! He's cu-uuute! Hey, Dad, did you ever see "Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer?"
-Well, your mother's going to PTA today. We'll see what your teacher has to say.
-I'm Dr. Eugene Sutphin. What's the trouble, officer?
-Carl's a jerk!
-No comment!
-Sorry, ma'am.
-Do you have the musical, "Annie"?
-Sure do. Did you bring back "Ghost Dad"?
-There you go. I love Bill Cosby pictures.
-Mrs. Jensen, I've told you. You have to rewind the tapes before returning them!
-Why?
-Because it's the rules!
-You see the sign! It's a dollar fine for not rewinding and this time I'm gonna charge you! $2.99 plus one dollar is $3.99!
-Cute is not enough, Misty. You know that.
-Chip, honey?
-Oh God, really! This is the limit!
-You kids. Now Birdie, I want you to have a cookie and then run along home.
-But Mom, the video's not over.
-Bye, Birdie. Chip, honey... I know it's hard being a teenager but I understand... I'm your mother and I love you.
-Oh Mom...
-Ladies and gentlemen, the perfect meatloaf!
-I'm happy too and we want you to be happy.
-I'm so happy I could shit.
-CHIP!!
-God, Mom! What's the matter?
-Time to get up, that's all. You'll be late for work.
-Tell me the truth, Mom! It's ok with me, really! Are you a serial killer?
-In here, Mom...
-Get in, Mom! I have to open.
-Are you Chip Sutphin?
-Hold on... Yeah I am, but you'll have to speak to my agent...
-That's cool... hey look, you're Carl's brother, right?
-That's right.
-I'm sorry he's dead, but... have you signed off yet?
-You mean for TV or print?
-TV, man! Farrah Fawcett's interested in playing my mother!
-Detectives, what is this about?
-I know this sounds weird, Mr. Sutphin, but the Department of Motor Vehicle's computer shows only one blue station wagon registered to a parent of any of Mr. Stubbins' pupils.
-What is it, officers? My patient is waiting.
-Dr. Sutphin is your wife a big reader?
-We hope so, son. And no matter what your mother is, we'll love her anyway.
-He goes to college with me!
-You've been working in that video shop too long.
-Carl makes me happy and that threatens this family, doesn't it?
-I got somebody you could run over, Mother!
-She's gonna kill Scotty!
-Home Sweet Home! Everything's fine, kids!
-Hi, Hank.
-Look at this! "Hillside Strangler gets his college degree in prison!"
-That's nice.
-Sorry, son. This is a matter for adults.
-Officers, I've never said the P-word out loud, much less written it down!
-No woman would!
-Chip, your ride is here.
-Nothing like a home cooked meal, honey.
-I can't stop thinking about that poor teacher. Goodnight, honey. Don't read late, we've got a big day with the birds tomorrow.
-Goodnight, honey.
-Don't I get a kiss?
-I just thought with all the sadness... you wouldn't want...
-We have to concentrate on life, Eugene.
-It's fine with me, Beverly. You want to, honey? You think the kids are asleep?
-We can be real quiet...
-I love that you're my wife.
-You're not bad yourself, coo-coo bird...
-You bring me such peace...
-Oohhhh, Eugene!
-Shhhh..
-Oooohhhh.
-Don't wake the kids...
-Oooohhh! Yeah! Yeah!
-Yeah! Oohhhh! Get it!
-Ooh, honey, I'm ready! Now! Now!
-There's Dede! He's my favorite chickadee! He's here every morning for breakfast.
-I'm sorry, honey. But the birds will still be there next week.
-Let's say grace and pray that we have the strength to understand the terrible tragedies of the last few days.
-Beverly! Not the Sterners!
-Beverly, I've been reading all about it... is it menopause?
-Det. Bradford, I'm sorry but we don't allow gum chewing in this house.
-Sorry, ma'am. We're investigating obscene phone calls and mail threats to a certain Mrs. Dottie Hinkle.
-Contusions... fractures... rupture of numerous vital organs...
-Did you drive your car to the PTA meeting yesterday, Mrs. Sutphin?
-"P" as in...
-Well, this magazine was found in your trash just last night... ...It's called "Chicks with Dicks".
-Mrs. Hinkle, did you ever receive obscene telephone calls?
-I certainly did.
-Did you recognize the voice of the caller?
-Not at first, but then I heard the same inflection in a voice at a social gathering and I put two and two together.
-Who's voice was it, Dottie?
-Objection! Argumentative!
-Hello.
-Is this the Cocksucker residence?
-Goddamn you! STOP CALLING HERE!
-Isn't this 4215 Pussy Way?
-You bitch!
-Let me check the zip - 212 Fuck you?
-The police are tracing your call right this minute.
-Well, Dottie, how come they're not here then, Fuck-Face?
-FUCK YOU TOO, YOU ROTTEN WHORE!!
-I beg your pardon?
-Who is this?
-Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. I understand you're having problems with obscene calls.
-What exactly does this sick individual say to you?
-I know it's hard but we need the exact words.
-Alright, I'll try... "Cocksucker". That's what she calls me.
-Listen to your dirty mouth, you fucking whore!
-MOTHERFUCKER!!
-Just a half-a-cup. Hello, Dottie. I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles...
-It's not fair!!
-What did you just say?
-Dottie! Watch what you're doing!
-And we're going right to the flea market to get another one! Misty tells me there's a whole booth of Franklin Mint stuff. Dottie, you lock up. I'll take care of poor Rosemary!
-Mrs. Hinkle... do you drink?
-No, I don't.
-So you weren't drunk when you received those alleged obscene phonecalls?
-I certainly was not!
-You mean to tell me the day I came over to Mrs. Ackerman's... the day you claim you recognized my voice... you weren't drinking?
-So you do drink?
-Socially... I'll have a beer.
-Did you see her?! She just said "Fuck you" to me!
-Let the record show I'm just standing here.
-Mrs. Hinkle, are you insane?
-State your name, please.
-Marvin A. Pickles.
-Were you in the men's room at the Edmonson Drive In Flea Market on Saturday, September 19th?
-Mr. Pickle! Did you see anybody in the booth next to you?
-I... I'm not sure... ...I... oohhh... Excuse me...
-Ooohhhhhh! I made it all up! I never saw Beverly Sutphin in my life!
-Who wants fruit salad?
-I do, please.
-That's not gum in your mouth, is it?
-It's sugarless.
-You know how I hate gum, Misty. All that chomping and cheesing...
-And who may I ask is Carl?
-He killed people, Mom.
-Yummy. Carl says if I lose ten pounds, he'll take me to the University of Maryland Fall Mixer.
-I'm stoodup! I'll kill that bastard!
-It's him!
-Damn these yellow-jackets! I hate 'em!
-It's just not your day, is it Rosemary?
-0h, that's horrible, honey. I sold the Pee-Wee Herman doll!!
-Mother! Did you hear me?! Someone murdered Carl in the mensroom! I saw his dead body!
-You got your wish.
-Beverly, are you alright?
-Rosemary, honey. Good morning. I'm fine. Thanks for remembering.
-Just the damn cable TV company. You know how they are. Did you hear about Dottie Hinkle?
-Yes, I did. It's terrifying! The police were at my house this morning.
-That's like your car, Beverly,
-Did you find your Franklin Mint egg, Rosemary darling?
-I saw one, but it was ridiculously overpriced!
-You want me to keep that under the table for you?
-Beverly, honey, you've got some... ...do-do on your shoe.
-Mrs. Ackerman, when you left me at the flea-market, where did you go?
-...Browsing.
-Did Carl Padgett buy something you wanted?
-I didn't want that Faberge egg - it was chipped!
-Carl Padgett died for the Franklin Mint, didn't he?!
-That was your People magazine with the letters cut out, wasn't it?
-Yes, but I lent it...
-And those were your scissors found sticking out of Mrs. Sterner's stomach, weren't they?
-Yes... but... I didn't...
-Mrs. Ackerman, do you recycle?
-Mrs... Sutphin?
-Mrs. Sutphin, I'm Paul Stubbins, Chip's math teacher.
-Nice to meet you, Mr. Stubbins. A little something I baked.
-Oooohh! A fruit cake. Thank you, Mrs. Sutphin. Have a seat.
-Chip is off to a fine start this year. Focused... conscientious... participates actively in classroom discussion.
-He's a good boy.
-What is it, Mr. Stubbins?
-His unhealthy obsession with sick horror films.
-He is assistant manager of a video shop...
-That's no excuse for a morbid imagination. I caught him drawing this in class last week. Is there a problem at home?
-Certainly not!
-Divorce? An alcoholic relative? Tell me, did Chip torture animals when he was young?
-No, he did not! We are a loving supportive family, Mr. Stubbins.
-I don't know what it is about today, but I FEEL GREAT!
-Man, that one made me puke!
-You forgot something...
-Are we leaving?
-SHE DID IT! Aimed the car right at Mr. Stubbins and mowed him down!
-Murder, honey.
-What was that?
-I didn't hear anything. Got any dessert?
-Dr. Sutphin said no sweets for you.
-What's he know?
-What is it, Betty?
-Young man, this Faberge Egg is chipped.
-Yes, ma'am, it is.
-I'll give you fifty cents.
-That's a Franklin Mint piece. Eight dollars.
-I'll take this instead.
-You know who I am, August?
-Sure I do.
-Then you know that if I give you a little advice, it'll be good advice.
-Yeah —- sure.
-That girl was looking for Jacqueline Gibson. I'd forget it if I were you.
-The name may not mean anything to you, young lady, but say the word and I'll have your sister for you in forty-eight hours.
-You can?
-Look, sister', Manhattan is only nine miles long and four and one half miles wide. I ain't never been off it. I know it like you know your own back yard. You get me a small retainer --say fifty bucks, and I'll get your sister for you. I guarantee
-I've been waitin' for you Miss Gibson. I want you to know I've decided to take your case.
-Mr. August, I'm not at all sure -
-Look. Don't say a word. I've taken an interest in you and I'm willin' to put up my time to help you. Besides, I think I know where to find your sister.
-Where?
-Wait a minute. This has got a lot of angles. You've got to take it easy. Do you know a Mrs. Redi?
-Yes. She bought my sister's business.
-That's what she told you. I looked it up at the Hall of Records. Your sister deeded her the business as an outright girt.
-Why would Mrs. Redi lie to me?
-That's what I tried to find out. I went to La Jeunesse —— -- used a phony health inspector's badge —— they let me go through the works -- all but one room. That room was locked. I'd like to see the inside of that room.
-You think my sister is there?
-You can't tell.
-Can we go there now?
-Sister, you can't just go breaking into places. There's a night watchman down there and locks on the door.
-If my sister's in that room, it won't make any difference about warrants- and things, I want to go there.
-I don't like this.
-Which room is it?
-You scared?
-Yes.
-Let's get out of here.
-It's only a little way, Mr. August.
-I'd like to get out of here.
-We can't stand here all night.
-You could go and open the door.
-The acceptance of a secret is an obligation and in this case my dear, the obligation carried with it the necessity of dying if one betrayed that secret. You understand that don't you?
-Yes, I understand.
-Then, you also understand that you must die.
-When I wanted to.
-May I have some water? I'm thirsty.
-Drink.
-No.
-Mr. Ward will see you in just a few minutes. Won't you wait, Dr. Judd?
-Are you Dr. Louis Judd?
-Yes.
-I read your book. The one in which you wrote about the cure for drinking.
-You're not a dipsomaniac at your age?
-I've come from Jacqueline. She needs money.
-I thought you told me you didn't know where she was.
-I didn't. She came to me a few days ago. To put it delicately her care imposes a financial burden upon me. She thought you might lighten that burden.
-If Jacqueline wants money she can come to me herself.
-I'm afraid she can't do that, Ward. It would endanger her.
-You're a curious man. You're willing to jeopardize Jacqueline's life in order to satisfy your own curiosity.
-It's not just for myself I'm asking. Her sister is here. The kid's half crazy with anxiety.
-Well, then I can tell you that in addition to other dangers, there is a grave danger of Jacqueline losing her sanity. I would advise against you seeing her.
-How much does she want?
-She could use a hundred dollars.
-I'll give you a check.
-I haven't got that much in cash.
-How much have you got?
-About forty-five dollars.
-Tell me, how is Jacqueline?
-But tell me --
-She's nervous, naturally, under the circumstances.
-Why, Mary --
-Hello, Frances.
-How's Miss Jacqueline?
-I don't know. That's why I came to see Mrs. Redi. I'm trying to find her.
-I don't get this. Miss Jacqueline was always so fond of you -- she was always talking about you -— had your picture in her office.
-I know. For the first time I'm beginning to be frightened. I almost feel as if I'd never known my sister.
-Nothing's happened to her. It's just that I can't understand her not getting in touch with you.
-I can't understand it at all.
-Well, don't worry. I saw Miss Jacqueline only a week ago. I saw her at a little restaurant the boy friend took me to -- an Italian place down in the Village —- "The Dante."
-"The Dante?"
-It's on Peary Street. Just ask the people who run it. They'll remember her. People who see Miss Jacqueline never forget her.
-I can't see much fun in teaching school. Why don't you go into the beauty business.
-But I like teaching school.
-Well, if it's fun for you, it's all right. I get a kick out of my work when the customers aren't too crabby.
-Is Mrs. Redi nice to work for?
-Redi's all right.
-She seems rather an odd woman to me.
-She's a pretty good sort.
-It always seemed to me she was sort of lonely and unhappy.
-The tip is, anyhow. I like to work on your hair.
-Do you know what this is, Frances?
-I ought to know.
-What did she want?
-I did her hair.
-What were you talking about?
-Nothing.
-Nothing! That's absurd. I heard you laughing and talking, She was asking questions.
-She was just asking about you - Whether it was nice to work for you or not.
-And that was all?
-No. She asked about the trademark.
-What did she want to know?
-She showed me a drawing.
-Some of us, Frances, must believe without understanding.
-We're not exactly strangers, Mary. Jacqueline spoke about you often. I suppose she told you about me,
-No...At the morgue they told me a Mr. Gregory Ward had made inquiries about Jacqueline.
-The Morgue? No wonder you fainted. I wish you had come to me first.
-Then you know where Jacqueline is?
-But I'd give a great deal to know.
-Why?
-A man would look anywhere for her, Mary. There is something exciting and unforgettable about her -— something you never get hold of —- something that keeps a man following after her.
-Because I loved Jacqueline I thought I knew her. Today I found out such strange things ——frightening things. I saw a hangman's noose that she had hanging -— waiting —— I feel as if I'd never known her.
-At least I can explain that, Mary. Your sister had a feeling about life —— that it wasn't worth living unless one could end it. I helped her get that room.
-Weren't you afraid?
-Afraid she might commit suicide? People who commit suicide don't talk about it. That room made her happy in some strange way I couldn't understand. She lived in a world of her own fancy. She didn't always tell the truth. In fact -— I'm afraid she didn't know what the truth was. There were many things about Jacqueline I didn't understand, and yet, without
-Thank you. It was a lovely dinner.
-Good.
-You can't make it your life's work looking for Jacqueline. ) You'll have to do other things... live...get some enjoyment out of life. I hope you'll let me help you.
-Thank you.. .goodnight.
-This is about another murder —— a woman at Fifty Second Street
-But you do believe me?
-The important thing is, the police won't believe you.
-Yes, of course —— but the police would say you'd probably had a bad dream.
-He was a kind little man in his way —— and I made him go down that hall into the darkness. I made him do it.
-I'm sorry. I didn't intend to treat you like a child.
-But you have treated me that way.
-However, I won't say that I'll not take charge occasionally, and I'm going to take charge new. I've a job for you.
-A job?
-You told me you were pretty good with youngsters. Today I bumped into an old friend of mine, Mrs. Wheeler She runs a settlement house down in the Village and is looking for a kindergarten teacher.
-I'd like that.
-It's not much money, but it's enough to live on. You'd have to move out of that hotel and into a furnished room.
-Maybe the Romaris might have a room. They seem nice.
-The people at the restaurant?
-What brought you down here, Greg?
-Oh, I had business with a man... but I missed him -—
-What have you done about Irving August?
-Oh, I'm making investigations.
-You've never believed a word I told you about Mr. August.
-Look, Mary, now that I know you better, I think I can be more frank with you. I don't believe you. I still can't understand the reason for such a wild tale. It's like some of Jacqueline's stories.
-Greg, it isn't a wild tale. It's true. If there were only some way --
-Please —- I can't explain things like this to your right ear.
-Last night in this very restaurant Mr. Jason Hoag paid a very pretty compliment to my right ear.
-Who the devil is he?
-You could have told me any time you were Jacqueline's husband.
-Things changed, Mary. The reasons for finding Jacqueline changed. I want to find Jacqueline to settle things.
-She's got to be found. That's the first step. She's got to be found so that she can give herself up to the police.
-Don't. We know what happened. Don't go on.
-Any court in the land would understand. We'll wait a few days -- let you rest -- then we'll go to the police.
-I thought I might close up the apartment -- maybe get a place in Connecticut.
-Good night, Jacqueline -- good night, Mary.
-That was Dr. Judd. He was phoning to say that, Jacqueline is on her way here -
-Gregory —— you'd better take Jacqueline with you tonight.
-No. Stay that way. I want to talk to you. I love you -— you know that?
-Yes.
-I've never loved any one before, Gregory, and I do love you -— you must know it -- but Jacqueline's my sister —— whom I had lost and have found again....
-I know —— I shouldn't have told you—
-I'm going to find your sister.
-I don't think that's a good subject for jokes, Mr. Hoag.
-But I'm not joking.
-Don't be ridiculous. For months I've had the best private detective in New York looking for Miss Gibson.
-But I'm better than a detective. I have an understanding of people - and a love of them -- an understanding of the city - -
-You don't even know Jacqueline Gibson.
-But I understand her. That may be more important.
-Mary, when you first came here, I told you to look into your heart. You didn't listen to me. You listened to the policeman instead. You didn't find your sister, did you?
-Well?
-All very nice but, what are you going to do - listen at every house in New York for Jacqueline's voice?
-I'm looking for a party -- a merry party.
-Do you think he knows about this?
-I don't know.
-He's clever and he's cautious in his way. If he knew I think he'd advise her to do what I want —- surrender herself to the police —— stand trial —— I don't think he knows.
-Could you find him?
-What's that?
-Let her know what?
-She'll have to know some time.
-Who are you?
-I'm Mimi -- I'm dying.
-No!
-Yes. It's been quiet, oh ever so quiet. I hardly move, yet it keeps coming all the time -—closer and closer. I rest and rest and yet I am dying.
-And you don't want to die. I've always wanted to die -- always.
-I'm tired of being afraid -— of waiting.
-Why wait?
-I'm not going to wait. I'm going out -- laugh, dance --do all the things I used to do.
-And then?
-I don't know.
-Please, Jacqueline.
-Good-bye, darling. I'll only be gone until three.
-Good-bye.
-If you get lonely, go down and see Mrs. Romari. I told her you were staying with me.
-You'll be all right?
-Were you going to make a suggestion?
-Well,then I have spoiled your dinner -- "your food won't digest, and your wine will sour."
-At least you knew about Dr. Judd.
-Yes.
-And you knew he'd be here.
-Yes. And now that I've shown you that I know that much, and can guess more -- will you trust me to look for Jacqueline?
-It's terribly sweet of you, Jason.
-I have been at the library.
-But you're always at the library.
-I went as a detective. I found out that Mrs. Redi reads the same books as Dr. Judd.
-I don't think that's so revealing.
-But who is Judd, a psychiatrist. It's quite natural that he should read books on the history of old religious societies. But why should Mrs. Redi, a woman with a beauty parlor --?
-I don't know.
-That's it. And this figure --she traced it. The book I saw at the library had been marked "perfect" by the library inspector in March. Mrs. Redi had it out in April. No one else had read it since.
-I'm at sea, Jason.
-Such a simple matter. This figure is the symbol of the Palladists.
-It's all clear to me now -- so clear.
-I thought it would be, but just to be sure, I'll tell you that the Palladists are a society of Devil worshippers --
-Look. I'm serious. It's a real and vary earnest society -- a dangerous society...
-I can imagine.
-I want you to see my room. I want you to see all of it.
-But it's a small room, Jason.
-My window - - through which I see the world.
-It's beautiful -- that searchlight - the stars --
-It's not a searchlight —— it's a sword blade cutting the blue cloak of a prince —- not stars --
-I thought your coming up here to the third floor to see me —-that it was your advent into my world. It turns out to be good-by. Why?
-I have to go —-
-It isn't that -- you said, "have to go." What could compel you --
-Don't make me tell you, Jason.
-I had begun to write again -—that's whet I was doing when you came in.
-It's because of Jacqueline —— I can't go on looking for her --
-You went to see Mrs. Redi... She told you something -- what was it?
-Jacqueline is a murderess she killed a man.
-And you believe that?
-If it is true — there's all the more reason for you to find Jacqueline.
-And Gregory -- he loves her.
-He loves you, Mary, and you'll have to tell him.
-I can't find Gregory. I've been trying to find him.
-What's wrong, Mary?
-Jacqueline. Mr. Romari phoned me. She went out this afternoon with two men he'd never seen before.
-I hate people who try to peddle comfort. But,Mary, you shouldn't mourn for Jacqueline. Life for her was full of the agony of a disordered mind. It's better this way.
-Not I —- I am alive, yet every hope I had is dead, Death can be good. Death can be happy.. If I were really dying I could speak like Cyrano -— "My courage like a white plume" — and all the other lovely words with which he greeted death. Then perhaps you might understand,
-I understand.
-Ah, my Jason -- always laughing -- always trying to help others. He's a good boy, Miss -- he just talks that way.
-Jason, my pet ——
-What are you thinking of, Bella? Can I eat dry?
-Why can't everyone be happy like we are -- laugh and have good times. Look at that poor little one — so sad because she can't find her sister. And that man with her -— he doesn't make her laugh —— he just sits and talks.
-We are happy, Mrs. Romari, because you have everything —— and I am happy because I have nothing to lose.
-Oh, Mr. Jason. I really shouldn't be doing this, you know. It's against the rules. When did you say you wanted them?
-I want to see what they read so I'll know what kind of books to give my friends as presents. There's nothing nicer for a gift than a book.
-And the other was Judd?
-Yes, Dr. Louis Judd.
-Would it be asking too much, Miss Gottschalk, for you to get me these books?
-Why, Mr. Jason. Most of these books are on the closed shelf. You have to get permission.
-I wouldn't want to take them out. I just want to look at them.
-Where is Jacqueline Gibson?
-What a peculiar question.
-I saw you with her last week. I knew you'd be here tonight. Where is she?
-See that girl? That's Jacqueline's sister. It's because of her I ask.
-But why come to me?
-Because there was another girl— years ago -- a nice girl. She lived on Barrow Street. I saw her with you once -— I saw her with you twice and then I never saw her again. That's why.
-What was she to you?
-I don't think that you would understand if I told you.
-I think I understand without your telling me. I know something of your history, Jason. I know that you haven't written for ten years.
-I've lost my knack.
-Following me to find Jacqueline?
-Uh—huh.
-Well, it won't work. Love and understanding won't make a good detective out of a recalcitrant poet.
-Actually I want to ask two favors of you -- one as a poet —— one as a detective.
-This is curious, Jason. Half the time you talk as if Shakespeare were not fit to tie your shoe—laces; now this sudden humility.
-And this poetry —— like the poetry you wrote before extols the passion and beauty of life?
-It goes beyond that. It praises the goodness of God and the greatness of all His works.
-I hope it finds as much favor as your other book -- but somehow I doubt it -- the time is out of tune.
-Wait —- there is that other favor.
-I'd forgotten.
-Tell me where Jacqueline is -— we've got to find her.
-You don't expect me to do that do you?
-Yes. When I tell you.
-Tell me what?
-Tell me, why this sudden desire to publish — to awaken like Byron and find yourself famous.
-I think it's time.
-Perhaps.
-I'm afraid this is no time to play Cyrano, my friend. What was in your mind?
-I suppose, Jason, that you'll speak for your friend -- -- and your poetry will speak for you.
-I don't suppose you'll ever tell her, will you?
-She is very young -- I have an old habit of failure. It would be a bad habit to bring to a marriage.
-A book of successful verse might have changed that, eh?
-If you like, I'll go with you to dinner.
-What?
-Dr. Judd?
-Don't be so amazed. It's a very ordinary matter. I'm Jacqueline's physician... Mr. Ward told me you were in town and Jacqueline has sent me to bring you to her.
-You know where she is?
-It's my cloven hoof. It trips me up sometimes.
-Cloven hoof?
-Yes. You could become a country wife -- fool around with petunias and pullets.
-Would they hurt her?
-I know the others -- Redi, Fallon, Leo, Bruns. But I would never have guessed it of you, Natalie.
-One believes -— it's like any other religion...
-I'd hardly describe It that way —- The worship of evil is a pretty dreadful and special thing.
-It seems right to us.
-I know the theory behind the movement. If one believes in good one believes in evil. If one believes in God, one must believe in the devil. And an intelligent person can make his own choice —— that's it, isn't it?
-Because you are intelligent -- that's why they sent me to you --
-I think I can give you a more practical reason for your kind invitation. I know too much. I was Jacqueline's psycho-analyst.
-Perhaps, Natalie, this is a bargain you're offering me --I am being allowed to join -- to buy safety by betraying Jacqueline -- is that it?
-I haven't said anything of the sort.
-But you would like to know where she is?
-Yes. There are certain punitive measures...
-I'm afraid you have mistaken my motive, Louis. I thought you might understand and sympathize.
-I have no sympathy for either good or evil. I have only curiosity -- a professional curiosity. What unhappy people most of you are!
-Are we? I thought I was very gay.
-I was a great dancer...
-A strange collection. You're like the false god you worship... fallen angels, all of you.
-Life has betrayed us. We've found there is no heaven on earth, so we must worship evil for evil's own sake. We're not wicked. We commit no violence, unless...
-Unless what?
-No, you draw no secrets from me, as you drew them from Jacqueline. You are not one of us yet. You're clever, Louis, but I recognize your interest in me for what it is worth. You are only curious. You have never loved a woman who had but one arm.
-It would be a charming experience. She might only protest half as much.
-Is it about Jacqueline?
-I don't know how to begin this, Natalie. Perhaps it's best to just plunge in. I want to join you.
-We always knew you'd come to us, Louis.
-But I'm not coming to you out of deep conviction, I'm coming to you out of loss. I no longer can believe in the power and the rightness of things that are called good.
-I never thought you did.
-I've talked nonsense. I've scoffed and hooted -- but somewhere very deep down in me, I always felt that good held the balance of power.
-This is incredible I It must be some sort of a joke.
-I'm very, very serious.
-But you have never liked Jason. You always laughed at him - -quarreled with him --
-This is the most amusing thing I have ever heard and with a bit of gossip to season it —— your failure with Jacqueline. Has she returned to her husband?
-But you must know someone who has seen or heard of my sister.
-Mrs. Redi, there's one thing —-with Jacqueline gone, how do you carry on the business? What do you do with the receipts? How do you sign checks--?
-Mary, I'm amazed. Didn't Jacqueline tell you? She sold the business to me at least eight months ago. It's my business now.
-I didn't know.
-There's nothing you can think of -- old letters, anything, that might give me some hint as to where I might find Jacqueline?
-Leave me your address, and if I find anything, I'll get in touch with you.
-I'm stopping at the Chatsworth.
-I'm afraid not.
-Yes.
-This is Mrs. Redi, Mary.
-I'll be out in a minute.
-If I were you, Mary -- I'd go back to school. I'd make no further attempt to find Jacqueline.
-Why?
-I can almost feel your doubt about what I'm saying, Mary.
-I can't give up looking for her, Mrs. Redi, no matter what you're hinting at.
-I have no intention whatsoever of hinting. Your sister, Mary, is a murderess. She killed Irving August -- stabbed him out of fright when he discovered where she was hiding.
-I don't believe it.
-Once you'd seen my sister you'd never forget her.
-Yes —— yes, if she made that much impression on you, I'm sure it was Jacqueline.
-She's not been here for a long time.
-But she was here?
-You mean she just came here, rented the room, locked it, and left?
-Yes -- and pays the rent every month.
-Your sister - - have you heard from her lately?
-No, Mrs. Lowood, she doesn't write often.
-That makes it all the more difficult ——
-Difficult? Has anything happened to Jacqueline?
-We don't know, Mary. We've been unable to get in touch with your sister.
-Sometimes she can be quite careless. Why don't you try Mrs. Redi?
-I have written repeatedly to Mrs. Redi. She vouchsafes no information whatsoever. It is six months since your tuition has been paid, Mary. Naturally, it is impossible for you to stay on here as a paying pupil.
-But, Mrs. Lowood, I can't just stay here not knowing what's happened to my sister. Maybe if I went to New York -- if I saw Mrs. Redi myself --
-I'm worry to bother you. I want to ask you about my sister.
-Yes?
-I thought you might know her. She was seen here about a week ago. Her name is Jacqueline Gibson.
-I don't know no Gibson. This is a restaurant. Many people come here.
-No -- the rent in paid. The lady asked us to promise, I wouldn't open the door.
-Fo come ti pare. To desiderare sempre di vedere che cosa c'era in quella stanza.
-Miss Gibson, I'm tired of resting.
-Is it fifteen minutes yet?
-Children, I want you to be very good and very quiet while I see Mrs. Wheeler a moment. She's going to take over this class for a while.
-Why
-Because I have something very important to do.
-What?
-I'll be right back with Mrs. Wheeler.
-I went back through the history last night. I read about Johann Rozenquartz -- I read what he wrote --
-I can quote it fully, Mrs. Redi. "We will avoid violence. For once undertaken, violence becomes its own master and can lead to either good or evil."
-But he also wrote --
-But she told him, Frances. She told him about us.
-It is a very real danger and one which forces our decision.
-I have taken care of Mary. I've spoken to her. She's going back to school.
-I'm sorry to be late, Natalie.
-Sorry. I'm nervous. This is very trying for me.
-I know. You introduced Jacqueline to us -- but how could you tell —-
-Jacqueline, you have spoken so often of ending it all, I can't understand why this should be so difficult for you. You have only to drink a little.
-You have only to stretch out your hand, take up the glass and drink a little.
-Ann?
-Yes?
-That was quick.
-False alarm.
-We... don't usually let people smoke in the house. We have a patio if you --
-Do you have other things?
-Yes. Oh, you mean to bring in! No. Yes, I have some other things, no, I don't need to bring them in. This is all I need to stay here.
-Have you ever been on television?
-Television?
-Yes.
-No. Why?
-Graham is an unusual name.
-Yeah, I guess it is. My mother is a complete Anglophile, anything British makes her drool like a baby. She probably heard the name in some movie. She's a prisoner of public television now.
-Oh, uh-huh.
-Are you uncomfortable with my appearance?
-No, I think you look... fine.
-Oh. Well, maybe I'm uncomfortable with my appearance. I feel a little out of place in these surroundings.
-Well...
-I used to take great pleasure in that, being purposefully different, rubbing people's noses in it. Didn't you do that when you were younger?
-No, not really.
-Oh. Well, I did. I was in a band once, and the music was always secondary to just flat out offending as many people as possible.
-You play an instrument?
-No, I was in charge of kind of standing at the microphone and reciting these really depressing lyrics in a monotone. The whole thing was really... irrelevant. How do you like being married?
-Oh, I like it. I like it very much.
-What about it do you like? I'm not being critical, I'd really like to know.
-...free-lance. You know.
-Yes. So you feel security, stability. Like things are going to last awhile.
-Oh, definitely. I mean, just this past year has gone by like phew! I hardly even knew it passed.
-Oh, uh-huh.
-Anyway, I think the mind is very flexible as far as time is concerned.
-You mean like "time flies"?
-Exactly. I would say the fact that you feel the first year of your marriage has gone by quickly means lots of things. Or could mean lots of things.
-How long has it been since you've seen John?
-Nine years.
-Nine years?
-Yes. I was surprised that he accepted when I asked if I could stay here until I found a place.
-Why? Didn't you know him well?
-Why'd you drop out?
-Oh, lots of reasons, most of them boring. But, up until I dropped out, John and I were... very much alike.
-That's hard to believe. The two of you seem so different.
-This food is excellent.
-Mother, father, sister.
-Sister older or younger?
-I don't know.
-Do I pay taxes? Of course I pay taxes, only a liar doesn't pay taxes, I'm not a liar. A liar is the second lowest form of human being.
-What's the first?
-Would you mind?
-No.
-Maybe you'll understand this, because you know John, but he confuses me sometimes.
-Yeah, I know. I mean, I'm not saying I know people think you're a bitch, I'm saying I know what you mean. And I don't even know that people think you're a bitch. Do they?
-I feel like they do.
-I know that I just don't feel a connection with very many people, so I don't waste time with people I don't feel one with.
-Can I tell you something personal? I feel like I can. It's something I couldn't tell John. Or wouldn't, anyway.
-It's up to you. But I warn you, if you tell me something personal, I might do the same.
-Do you understand what I'm trying to say?
-I think so. I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love what they're attracted to, whereas women become more and more attracted to the person they love.
-So what about kids?
-Kids? What about them?
-Do you want them?
-Yeah, actually, I do. But John doesn't. At least not right now.
-Why is that?
-So what's your personal thing? Are you really going to tell me something personal?
-Do you want me to?
-As long as it's not... gross, you know? Like some scar or something. It has to be like mine, like something about you.
-You're what?
-Impotent.
-You are?
-Does it bother you?
-Not usually. I mean, honestly, I haven't known many guys that could think straight with an erection, so I feel I'm way ahead of the game as far as being clear-headed goes.
-Well... are you self-conscious about it?
-I am self-conscious, but not in the same way that you are. You have got to be the most attractive self- conscious person I've ever seen.
-Why do you say I'm self-conscious?
-Well, I've been watching you. I've watched you eat, I've watched you speak, I've watched the way you move, and I see somebody who is extremely conscious of being looked at. I think you really believe that people are looking at you all the time. And you know what?
-What?
-They are looking at you. Ann, you are truly breathtaking. I don't know if you understand how your appearance can affect people. Men want to possess you, women wish they looked like you. And those that don't or can't resent you. And the fact that you're a nice person just makes it worse.
-My therapist said that --
-You're in therapy?
-Aren't you?
-Hah! No, I'm not. Actually, I used to be, but the therapist I had was really ineffectual in helping me deal with my problems. Of course, I lied to him constantly, so I guess I can't hold him totally responsible...
-So you don't believe in therapy?
-I believe in it for some people. I mean, for me it was silly, I was confused going in. So I just formed my own personal theory that you should never take advice from someone of the opposite sex that doesn't know you intimately.
-Well, my therapist knows me intimately.
-You had sex with you therapist?
-Of course not.
-Oh, see, I meant someone you've had sex with. That's part of the theory.
-Excuse me for asking, but how would you know?
-Now, you said never take advice from someone that you don't know intimately, right?
-So since I've never had sex with you, by your own advice I shouldn't accept your advice.
-Hi!
-Ann. Hello.
-Are you in the middle of something?
-Nothing I can't finish later.
-I just wanted to see how the place looked furnished.
-Not much to see, I'm afraid. I'm sort of cultivating a minimalist vibe.
-What are these?
-Videotapes.
-It's a personal project I'm working on.
-What kind of personal project?
-Oh, just a personal project like anyone else's personal project. Mine's just a little more personal.
-Who's Donna?
-Donna?
-Donna. On this tape it says "Donna".
-Donna was a girl I knew in Florida.
-You went out with her?
-Because I enjoy interviewing women more than men.
-All of these are interviews?
-Yes.
-Can we look at one?
-No.
-Why not?
-What... what are these interviews about?
-The... interviews are about sex, Ann.
-About sex?
-Yes.
-What about sex?
-Everything about sex.
-Like what?
-Like what they've done, what they do, what they don't do, what they want to do but are afraid to ask for, what they won't do even if asked. Anything I can think of.
-You just ask them questions?
-Yes.
-And they just answer them?
-Mostly. Sometimes they do things.
-To you?
-No, not to me, for me, for the camera.
-I don't... why... why do you do this?
-I'm sorry this came up.
-This is just... so...
-Maybe you want to go.
-I'm not sure why I came here. I had kind of decided not to talk to you after... you know.
-John and Cynthia have been... "fucking".
-I know.
-You know?
-Yes.
-How did you know?
-She said it on her tape.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-But even if we had been speaking, I wouldn't have told you.
-Why not?
-Do you think that's such a good idea?
-Don't you want to make one?
-Yes. But I sense the element of revenge here.
-What difference does it make why I do it?
-I want you to be aware of what you're doing and why, because I know that this is not the sort of thing you would do in a normal frame of mind.
-What would you know about a normal frame of mind?
-That's a good question.
-What do you have to do to get ready?
-Load a new tape, turn the camera on.
-How do you pay for all this? I mean, rent, and tapes and this equipment.
-I have money.
-What will you do when the money runs out?
-It won't. Are you ready?
-Tell me your name.
-Tell me your name.
-Ann Bishop Millaney.
-Do you talk to him?
-When we're making love?
-Yes.
-Sometimes. Afterward.
-You don't know what I'm thinking.
-Is he going to see this?
-Did you have sex before you were married?
-Yes.
-I don't see what difference it makes, I mean, I can think what I want. I don't know if I want to do this anymore, I'm afraid... I don't mind answering the questions so much, but if somebody were to see this...
-Yes, I have. I will.
-Then as far as this taping goes, you have nothing to worry about.
-I guess not.
-No.
-Yes. Whenever... all right, look. Whenever I see a man that I think is attractive, I wonder what it would be like with him, I mean, I'm just curious, I don't act on it, but I hate that I think that!! I wish I could just forget about that stuff!!
-Why?
-Because that's how Cynthia thinks!! All she does is think about that stuff, and I hate that, I don't want to be like her, I don't want to be like her!!
-You're not like your sister. You couldn't be like her if you wanted to.
-So you do fantasize?
-Yes.
-About who?
-I fantasized about you.
-About me?
-Have you fantasized about me?
-I thought I made that clear before, when I said I would go down on you.
-I remember. You could do that, couldn't you? Go down on me?
-Yes.
-If I asked you to, would you? Not on tape, I mean?
-No.
-On tape?
-No.
-Why not?
-If I can't do it all, I don't want to do anything. And I can't do it all.
-Can't.
-You said you weren't always impotent.
-That's correct.
-So you have had sex.
-Yes.
-Who was the last person you had sex with?
-Her name was Elizabeth.
-So what happened? Was it so bad that it turned you off?
-No, it was wonderful. That wasn't the problem.
-What was the problem?
-The problem was me. I was... I was a pathological liar. Or am, I should say. Lying is like alcoholism, one is always "recovering".
-So you lied to her?
-Yes. I did. Willfully and repeatedly.
-How come?
-I loved her for how good she made me feel, and I hated her for how good she made me feel. And at that time, I tended to express my feelings non- verbally. I couldn't handle anyone having that much control over my emotions.
-And now you can?
-Now I make sure that no one has the opportunity to test me.
-Don't you get lonely?
-How could I, with all these nice people stopping by? The fact is that I've lived by myself for so long, I can't imagine living with another person. It's amazing what you can get used to if enough time goes by. And anyway, I'm asking the questions. Are you happy?
-I don't know anymore. I thought I was, but obviously I was wrong.
-Did you confront John with the fact that you knew about him?
-Not yet. I'm not sure I will. I just want out.
-If you do get out of your marriage, will you continue to be inhibited?
-I don't know. It all gets back to that Cynthia thing. I don't like her... eagerness. There's nothing left to imagine, there's no...
-Subtlety?
-Subtlety, yes. No subtlety. Plus, I've never really felt able to open up with anyone. I mean, that other person I told you about, I enjoyed making love with him a lot, but I still wasn't able to really let go. I always feel like I'm being watched and I shouldn't embarrass myself.
-And you feel the same way with John?
-Kind of. I mean, John's like this kind of... craftsman. Like he's a carpenter, and he makes really good tables. But that's all he can make, and I don't need anymore tables.
-Interesting analogy.
-I'm babbling.
-No, you're not.
-God, I m so mad at him!!
-You should be. He lied to you. So did Cynthia.
-You're really never going to make love again?
-If you were in love with me, would you?
-I'm not in love with you.
-But if you were?
-I... I can't answer that precisely.
-But I feel like maybe I could be really comfortable with you.
-That's very flattering.
-So why won't you make love with me? Why wouldn't you, I mean?
-Ann. Are you asking me hypothetically, or are you asking me for real, right now?
-I can't.
-Why not?
-I've told you.
-But I don't understand --
-Ann, it could happen to me all over again, don't you see? I could start to --
-But how do you know for sure, you have to try to find a way to fig --
-Who? Elizabeth?
-Yes.
-You mean you're still in contact with her?
-No.
-But you're planning to be?
-I don't know. Possibly.
-Wait a minute, wait a minute. What's going on here? Did you come back here just to see her again?
-Not entirely.
-But that was part of it?
-Yes.
-Like maybe a big part?
-Possibly.
-Graham, I mean, what do you think her reaction is going to be if you contact her?
-I don't know.
-Look at you, look at what's happened to you, look how you've changed! Don't you think she will have changed?
-I don't know. I really would rather not talk about it.
-Whoa!! I'm so glad we got that on tape!! You won't answer a question about Elizabeth, but I have to answer all these intimate questions about my sex life!! Graham, what do you think she's going to make of all these videotapes? Are you going to tell her about them? I can't imagine her being too understanding about that. But since you don't lie
-As I said, I haven't decided what to do, exactly. Perhaps I won't do anything.
-All right, you want to talk about lies, let's talk about lies, Ann. Let's talk about lying to yourself. You haven't been able to sleep with your husband because you're no longer in love with him, and maybe you never were. You haven't been honest with yourself in longer than you can remember.
-Don't do that.
-Why not?
-Because.
-"Because"? That's not good enough. I asked you a question, Graham. I asked you "how does it feel"? How does it feel, Mr. I Want To Go Down On You But I Can't? Do you know how many people you've sucked into your weird little world? Including me? Come on, how does it feel?
-I can't tell you like this.
-I'm just going to keep asking until you answer. I'm sure there's plenty of tape.
-I don't find this "turning the tables" thing very interesting --
-Come on!!
-Why are you ashamed?
-Jesus Christ, Ann. Why is anybody anything? I think you have this idea that people are either all good or all bad, and you don't allow for any gray areas, and that's what most of us consist of.
-You're not answering me.
-Well, what kind of answer are you looking for, Ann? What is it exactly that you want to know?
-I want to know why you are the way you are!
-And I'm telling you it's not any one thing that I can point to and say "That's why!" It doesn't work that way with people who have problems, Ann, it's not that neat, it's not that tidy! It's not a series of little boxes that you can line up and count. Things just don't happen that way.
-But why can't you just put it all behind you? Can't you just forget it? All that stuff you did?
-I want to touch you.
-Graham...
-That's the first thing that ran through my mind when I saw you. I thought this is not the same man that rode the unicycle naked through the homecoming parade.
-Oh, we get along okay. She's just very... she's an extrovert. I think she's loud. She probably wouldn't agree. Definitely wouldn't agree.
-Graham and I were talking about apartments and I told him to check the Garden District, there are some nice little places there, garage apartments and stuff.
-John?
-Mmmmm...
-Tuesday. I had a late lunch.
-Yes. I just got busy.
-Then maybe I saw an old message. There are a lot of them on my desk, you know.
-Who'd you have lunch with?
-Something wrong?
-Are you having an affair?
-Jesus Christ, where'd that come from? I have a late lunch by myself and now I'm fucking somebody?
-Well, are you?
-No, I'm not. Frankly, I'm offended at the accusation.
-If I'm right, I want to know. I don't want you to lie. I'd be very upset, but not as upset as if I'd found out you'd been lying.
-There's nothing to know, Ann.
-I can't tell you how upset I would be if you were lying.
-Ann, you are completely paranoid. Not ten minutes ago I wanted to make love for the first time in weeks, and you act like I'm dipped in shit. You know, I think there are a lot of women that would be glad to have a young, straight male making a pretty good living beside them in bed with a hard on.
-My sister, for one. Is that who it is?
-For God's sake, Ann, I am not fucking your sister. I don't find her that attractive, for one.
-Is that supposed to comfort me?
-I was just saying, you know? I didn't get paranoid when you didn't want to make love. I could have easily assumed that you didn't want to because you were having an affair.
-But I'm not.
-I'm not either!!
-Why don't I believe you?
-Look, this conversation is utterly ridiculous. Maybe when you have some evidence, we should talk, but don't give me conjecture and intuition.
-Always the lawyer.
-Goddam right. I mean, can you imagine: "Your honor, I'm positive this man is guilty. I can't place him at the scene or establish a motive, but I have this really strong feeling."
-You've made your point.
-I'm sorry, too. I... I get these ideas in my head, you know, and I have nothing to do all day but sit around and concoct these intricate scenarios. And then I want to believe it so I don't think I've wasted the whole day. Last week I was convinced you were having an affair with Cynthia, I don't know why.
-I don't, either. I mean, Cynthia, of all people. She's so...
-Loud.
-Yeah. Jeez, give me some credit.
-I didn't say it was rational, I just said I was convinced.
-Isn't therapy helping at all?
-I don't know. Sometimes I feel stupid babbling about my little problems while children are starving in the world.
-Quitting your therapy won't feed the children of Ethiopia.
-Jesus Christ! What the hell happened? I came home and your car was gone, the door was open, I thought for sure you'd been abducted by some mad fucker, I was literally just calling the cops when you walked in. What happened?
-I want out of this marriage.
-What?
-I want out of this marriage.
-Why?
-Where did you go when you left here?
-Goddammit, goddammit!! That son of a bitch!! Well, at least I know you didn't fuck him.
-You're leaving me for him, aren't you? Well, that makes a sad sort of sense. He can't, and you won't.
-Answer me, godammit!! Did you make one of those tapes?
-Goddam right.
-Bastard...
-You son of a bitch!!
-I have thought about it, yes.
-God damn you!!
-Yes, I remember. What do you do when these moods overtake you?
-Nothing. I mean, nothing. I try not to do anything that will produce garbage, so obviously we're talking about eating and basic stuff like that. Did you know that the average person produces three pounds of garbage a day?
-No, I didn't.
-Don't you think that's a lot of garbage? I'd really like to know where it's all going to go.
-Do you have any idea what triggered this concern?
-Well, this weekend John was taking out the garbage, and he kept spilling things out of the container, and I started imagining a container that grew garbage, like it just kept filling up and overflowing all by itself, and how could you stop that if it started happening?
-Ann, do you see a pattern here?
-What do you mean?
-Well, last week we talked about your obsession with the families of airline fatalities, and now we're talking about your concern over the garbage problem.
-Yeah, so?
-If you think about it, I think you'll see that the object of your obsession is invariably something negative that you couldn't possibly have any control over.
-Are you afraid of his reaction? Of his finding you silly for thinking of such things?
-No. I don't know. I haven't told him about the garbage thing because I'm pissed off at him right now. He's letting some old college buddy stay at our house for a couple of days, and he didn't even ask me about it. I mean, I would've said yes, I just wish he would've asked.
-What upsets you about that?
-I guess I'm upset because I can't really justify being upset, I mean, it's his house, really, he pays the mortgage.
-But he asked you to quit your job, and you do have housework.
-Yeah, I know.
-This unexpected visit notwithstanding, how are things with John?
-When did you begin having this feeling?
-About a week ago. I don't know what brought it on, I just started feeling like I didn't want him to touch me.
-Prior to this feeling, were you comfortable having physical contact with him?
-Perhaps he senses your hesitance at being touched.
-But see, he stopped before I got that feeling, that's why it seems weird to me. I mean, I'm sure he wishes I would initiate things once in awhile, and I would except it never occurs to me, I'm always thinking about something else and then the few times that I have felt like starting something I was by myself.
-What do you mean?
-Did you masturbate?
-God, no.
-I take it you've never masturbated?
-Well, I kind of tried once. It just seemed stupid, I kept seeing myself lying there and it seemed stupid, and kind of, uh, I don't know, and then I was wondering if my dead grandfather could see me doing this, and it just seemed like a dumb thing to be doing when we don't know what to do with all that garbage, you
-So it was recently that you tried this.
-Well, I don't know. The week started off okay, but then I was outside watering the plants, and I started feeling dizzy from the heat and that got me thinking about the Greenhouse Effect, so I went inside and turned on the air-conditioner full blast, and that made me feel a little better until I started thinking about radon leakage coming up through the
-Radon leakage?
-Yes, it's this radioactive gas in the ground, and houses kind of act like magnets to pull it up, and -- you've never heard of this?
-No, I haven't.
-Well, the cumulative effect is not good, let me tell you. I knew I shouldn't have watered those plants.
-Did you confront John about the visitor?
-What visitor?
-The friend of John's that was staying at your house.
-Oh, Graham. No, I didn't talk to him about that. Actually, that turned out to be pretty interesting. I expected Graham to be this... well, like John, you know? I mean, he said they had gone to school together, so I was expecting lots of stories about getting drunk and secret handshakes and stuff. But he turned out to be this... this kind of
-Is he still at your house?
-No, he left last week.
-Did you find him attractive?
-What do you mean, like physically?
-Let me rephrase. Were you attracted to him?
-What brought this on?
-I've been thinking about it for awhile, and then I was talking to somebody who kind of put things in perspective for me.
-I thought that's what I did. Who was it that you talked to?
-Ann, in life one has to be aware of hidden agendas. Did it occur to you that Graham may have his own reasons for not wanting you to be in therapy?
-What do you mean? I don't understand.
-It's possible that Graham has hidden motives for disliking therapy and/or therapists. Perhaps he has problems of his own that he is unwilling to deal with, and he would like to see other people, you for instance, wallow in their situation just as he does. Do you think that's possible?
-I guess.
-You understand that you are free to leave therapy at any time?
-Yes.
-That you are under no obligation to me?
-Yes.
-Do you want to leave therapy?
-Not really.
-Do you feel there is more progress to be made?
-Yes.
-I'm glad you feel that way, because I feel that way, too.
-I hate my sister.
-Why?
-There are many things that can exert control over one's life, good and bad. Religion, greed, philanthropy, drugs.
-I don't know. He went to school here, then he was in New York for awhile, then Philadelphia, and then just kind of travelling around.
-Must be nice. So, what's he like, is he like John?
-Is he? Strange, I mean?
-Not really. Maybe if I just saw him on the street I'd have said that, but after talking to him... he's just kind of... I don't know, unusual.
-Uh-huh. So what's he look like?
-Why?
-I just want to know what he looks like, is all.
-Why, so you can go after him?
-Besides, even if I decided to fuck his brains out, what business is that of yours?
-Do you have to say that?
-What?
-You know what. You say it just to irritate me.
-I say it because it's descriptive.
-Well, he doesn't strike me as the kind of person that would go in for that sort of thing, anyway.
-Ann, you always underestimate me.
-Well, I wonder why.
-I think you're afraid to put the two of us in the same room together. I think you're afraid he'll be undeniably drawn to me.
-Oh, for God's sake. Really, Cynthia, really, I don't think he's your type.
-"My type"? What is this bullshit? How would you know what "my type" is?
-I have a pretty good idea.
-Ann, you don't have a clue. Look, I don't even know why we're discussing this, I'll just call him myself.
-He doesn't have a phone.
-Well, I'll call him when he does.
-But he won't.
-What are you talking about?
-He's not getting a phone, he doesn't like talking on the phone.
-Oh, please. Okay, so give me the Zen master's address, I'll think of a reason to stop by.
-Let me talk to him first.
-Why? Just give me the address, you won't even have to be involved.
-I don't feel right just giving you the address so that you can go over there and...
-And what?
-Lose something?
-That goddam diamond stud earring that cost me a fucking fortune.
-Are you getting Mom something for her birthday?
-I don't know, I'll get her a card or something.
-A card? For her fiftieth birthday?
-What's wrong with that?
-Don't you think she deserves a little more than a card? I mean, the woman gave birth to you. It's her fiftieth birthday --
-Will you stop? Jesus.
-I just thought it might --
-Okay, Ann, okay. How about this: you buy her something nice, and I'll pay for half. All right?
-Fine.
-Good. Now, if you'll pardon me, I have to go to work.
-I don't... he doesn't want you to come over.
-What do you mean he doesn't want me to come over? Did you tell him about me?
-No, I didn't.
-Why not?
-Because I never got around to it.
-Well, why?
-Because. Cynthia, look, John was right. Graham is strange. Very strange. You don't want to get involved with him.
-What the hell happened over there? Did he make a pass at you?
-No!
-Then what's the story, what's this "strange" bullshit all of a sudden? Is he drowning puppies, or what?
-No, it's nothing like that.
-Well, what? Is he dangerous?
-No, he's not dangerous. Not physically.
-Well, what, then?
-I don't want to talk about it.
-Then why'd you call me?
-He just asked me questions.
-What kinds of questions?
-Questions about sex.
-Well, like, I don't want to tell you, exactly.
-Oh, so you'll let a total stranger record your sexual life on tape, but you won't tell your own sister?
-Apparently.
-Yes, I did.
-Cynthia!
-What!?
-Why did you do that?
-Because I wanted to.
-But why did you want to?
-I wanted him to see me.
-Cynthia, who knows where that tape may end up? He could be... bouncing it off some satellite or something. Some horny old men in South America or something could be watching it.
-He wouldn't do that.
-You don't know that for sure.
-Well, it's too late now, isn't it?
-Did he touch you?
-No, but I did.
-In front of him, Ann, yes.
-You are in trouble.
-Listen to you!! You sound like Mom. What are you talking about?
-I can't believe you did that!!
-Why?
-I mean, I couldn't do that in front of John, even.
-You couldn't do it, period.
-You know what I mean, you don't even know him!
-I feel like I do.
-That doesn't mean you do. You can't possibly trust him, he's... perverted.
-He's harmless. He just sits around and looks at these tapes. What's the big deal?
-So he's got this catalogue of women touching themselves? That doesn't make you feel weird?
-No. I don't think they all did what I did.
-You are in serious trouble.
-Ann, I don't understand why this freaks you out so much. You didn't do it, I did, and if it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you?
-I don't want to discuss it.
-Here it is.
-What is it?
-It's a sun dress.
-It looks like a tablecloth.
-I was just trying to --
-So what's my share of the dress?
-Thank you.
-Do you have my work number?
-I get real busy between two and four.
-Bye.
-Did he ask me to take my clothes off? No, he didn't.
-No, I touched me.
-I wish you'd get an answering machine.
-There's a phone here.
-Well, why would she want a sun dress? She's got spots on her shoulders and varicose veins.
-Who are you?
-I'm Cynthia Bishop.
-Do I know you?
-I'm Ann Millaney's sister.
-The extrovert.
-She must have been in a good mood when she said that. She usually calls me loud.
-She called you that, too. May I ask why you're here?
-You want me to leave?
-I just want to know why you're here.
-Well, like I said, Ann is my sister. Sisters talk. You can imagine the rest.
-No, I really can't. I find it healthy never to characterize people I don't know or conversations I haven't heard. I don't know what you and your sister discussed about me or anything else. Last time I saw Ann she left here very... confused, I would say. And upset.
-She still is.
-And are you here to berate me for making her that way?
-Nope.
-She didn't tell you why she was upset?
-Nope.
-She didn't give you my address?
-Nope.
-How did you find me?
-I, uh, know a guy at the power company.
-I don't understand. Why did you want to come here? I mean, I can't imagine Ann painted a very flattering portrait of me.
-Well, I don't really listen to her when it comes to men. I mean, look at John, for crissake. Oh, you went to school with him didn't you? You're probably friends or something.
-Nope. I think the man is a liar.
-I think you're right. So come on, I came all the way over here to find out what got Ann so spooked, tell me what happened.
-Oh, okay. I think I get it.
-What do you get?
-Well, they must be something sexual, because Ann gets freaked out by that shit. Are these tapes of you having sex with these girls or something?
-Not exactly.
-Well, either you are or you aren't. Which is it?
-Why don't you let me tape you?
-Doing what?
-Talking.
-About what?
-Sex. Your sexual history, your sexual preferences.
-What makes you think I'd discuss that with you?
-Nothing.
-You just want to ask me questions?
-I just want to ask you questions.
-And that's all?
-That's all.
-Is this how you get off or something? Taping women talking about their sexual experiences?
-Yes.
-Would anybody else see the tape?
-Absolutely not. They are for my private use only.
-How do we start?
-I turn on the camera. You start talking.
-And you ask questions, right?
-Yes.
-How long will it take?
-That depends on you. One woman only used three minutes. Another filled up three two hour tapes.
-Can I see some of the other tapes to get an idea of what --
-No.
-Do I sit or stand?
-Whichever you prefer.
-I'd rather sit. Are you ready?
-I am now recording. Tell me your name.
-Cynthia Patrice Bishop.
-Describe for me your first sexual experience.
-My first sexual experience or the first time I had intercourse?
-Your first sexual experience.
-I was... eight years old. Michael Green, who was also eight, asked if he could watch me take a pee. I said he could if I could watch him take one, too. He said okay, and then we went into the woods behind our house. I got this feeling he was chickening out because he kept saying, "Ladies first!" So I pulled down my
-Was it ever a topic of conversation between the two of you afterward?
-No. He kind of avoided me for the rest of the summer, and then his family moved away. To Cleveland, actually.
-How unfortunate. So when did you finally get to see a penis?
-When I was fourteen.
-Live, or in a photograph or film of some sort?
-Very much live.
-What did you think? Did it look like you expected?
-Not really. I didn't picture it with veins or ridges or anything, I thought it would be smooth, like a test tube.
-Were you disappointed?
-No. If anything, after I looked at it awhile, it got more interesting. It had character, you know?
-What about when you touched it? What did you expect it to feel like, and then what did it really feel like?
-It was warmer than I thought it would be, and the skin was softer than it looked. It's weird. Thinking about it now, the organ itself seemed like a separate thing, a separate entity to me. I mean, after he pulled it out and I could look at it and touch it, I completely forgot that there was a guy attached to it. I
-What did he say?
-He said that my hand felt good.
-Then what happened?
-Would you like me to take my pants off?
-If you wish. You're not wearing any underwear.
-Do you like the way I look?
-Yes.
-Do you think I'm pretty?
-Yes.
-Prettier than Ann?
-John doesn't have sex with Ann anymore.
-Is that what he tells you?
-Hello.
-Look, I'm just going to come right out and tell you why I'm here, okay?
-Okay.
-No.
-No? Not even one more?
-I never do more than one. I'm sorry.
-I can't talk you into it?
-No. You'll have to get somebody else.
-Now who the hell is going to do that for me?
-I'm sure a substantial number of men in this town would volunteer.
-But I want you to do it, I want somebody who will ask the right questions and everything, somebody I can play to and feel safe because you can't do anything.
-Ouch. Okay, I deserved that. Cynthia, don't you understand? After the first time it's just not spontaneous. There's no edge anymore. Look at the tapes, there is only one date on each label. I have never taped anyone twice.
-So make an exception.
-No.
-How about if you record over the one we already made? You could have the same date and not use another tape. Who would know?
-I would.
-Well, what the hell am I supposed to do?
-Cynthia, I don't know.
-I can't believe you're doing this after I let you tape me.
-I'm sorry. I can't do it.
-Goddamit, give me my tape, then.
-I've got to get back to the office.
-I can't let my lunch hour go on too long. I've already skipped one meeting.
-I have a friend coming in from out of town, I'll probably be spending some time with him the next couple of days.
-Meaning we'll have to cool it for awhile, right?
-I wish you'd quit that bartending job.
-Why?
-I hate the thought of guys hitting on you all the time.
-I can handle it. Besides, the money is good and some of the guys are cute. And you are in no position to be jealous.
-Who said I was jealous?
-I wish I could tell everybody that Ann's a lousy lay. Beautiful, popular, Ann Bishop Millaney.
-Could be risky.
-Well, maybe I could just start a rumor, then.
-No, I mean doing it at my house.
-Afraid of getting caught?
-Maybe.
-You should be. Can I meet this friend of yours?
-Cynthia, I don't think you want to, I mean, you should see the way he dresses. I really think he's in a bad way.
-I'm intrigued.
-You're intrigued?
-Hello.
-Cynthia. John. Meet me at my house in exactly one hour.
-John?
-Hello.
-Cynthia. John.
-Not today. I've got other plans.
-Oh. Well, when, then?
-How about inviting me over to dinner?
-You know what I mean.
-John Millaney.
-I want to see you.
-When?
-Right now.
-Jesus, I don't know if I can get away. I've got a client waiting. I'd have to do some heavy duty juggling.
-Hello.
-Cynthia. John.
-Well, this is timely. Your wife is here, would you like to speak to her?
-I don't know. I'm not sure I can duplicate the level of intensity I had the other day.
-Nothing wrong with trying.
-Do you want me to stop calling?
-It's just so blatantly stupid, I have a hard time believing you did it.
-What's so stupid about it?
-That you... you don't even know the guy.
-Well, you know him, he's a friend of yours, do you think he can be trusted?
-Shit, after what you've told me, I don't know. I should've known, when he showed up dressed like some arty brat.
-I like the way he dresses.
-What if this tape gets into the wrong hands?
-"The wrong hands"? We're not talking about military secrets, John. They're just tapes that he makes so he can sit around and get off.
-Jesus Christ. And he doesn't have sex with any of them? They just talk?
-Right.
-Jesus. I could almost understand it if he was screwing these people, almost. Why doesn't he just buy some magazines or porno movies or something?
-Doesn't work. He has to know the people, he has to be able to interact with them.
-I felt like it, so what? Goddam, you and Ann make such a big deal out of it.
-You told Ann about this?
-Of course. She is my sister. I tell her almost everything.
-I wish you hadn't done that.
-Why not?
-It's just something I'd prefer she didn't know about.
-She's a grown-up, she can handle it.
-I just... Ann is very...
-Hung up.
-It just wasn't a smart thing to do. Did you sign any sort of paper, or did he have any contract with you saying he wouldn't broadcast these tapes?
-No.
-You realize you have no recourse legally? This stuff could show up anywhere.
-It won't. I trust him.
-You trust him.
-Yeah, I do. A helluva lot more than I trust you.
-What do you mean?
-Exactly what I said. I'd trust him before I'd trust you. How much clearer can I be?
-It hurts that you would say that to me.
-Oh, please. Come on, John. You're fucking your wife's sister and you hardly been married a year. You're a liar. But at least I know you're a liar. It's the people that don't know, like Ann, that have to watch out.
-By definition you're lying to Ann, too.
-That's right. But I never took a vow in front of God and everybody to be "faithful" to my sister.
-Look, are we going to do it or not?
-Actually, no, I've changed my mind. I shouldn't have called.
-Well, I'm here now. I'd like to do something...
-Come on, John. You should be happy, we've gone this far without Ann finding out, I'm making it real easy on you. Just walk out of here and I'll see you at your house for a family dinner sometime.
-Did he put you up to this?
-Who?
-Graham.
-No, he didn't put me up to this. Jesus, I don't need people to tell me what I should do. I've just been thinking about things, that's all.
-I can't believe I let him stay in my house. Right under my nose. That deviant fucker was right under my nose and I didn't see him.
-If he had been under your prick you'd have spotted him for sure.
-God, you... you're mean.
-I know. Will you please leave now?
-Maybe I don't want to leave. Maybe I want to talk.
-John, we have nothing to talk about.
-I knew it, I knew it. Things are getting complicated.
-Plenty of room for two people.
-It'll just be me.
-Student?
-No. You said three-fifty?
-Plus first and last month deposit.
-Will you lease month-to-month?
-Not for three-fifty.
-Everybody has a past.
-What do you think the Greeks would make of that outfit you're wearing?
-Yeah, it's not bad. Usually Ann has some serious salt action going. I keep telling her, you can always add more if you want, but you can't take it out.
-I'm sorry. Am I prying again?
-You were prying before?
-Yes, this afternoon. I was grilling Ann about your marriage this afternoon.
-Really. How'd it go?
-I wish I didn't have to live someplace.
-Get rid of the car when you get your apartment, then you'll still have one key.
-I like having the car, the car is important.
-Especially if you want to leave someplace in a hurry.
-Hi, John.
-Where are the tapes, Graham?
-What tapes?
-You know which tapes! Where are they?
-John, as a lawyer, you should know that those tapes are private property.
-So is my wife, asshole!!
-She's not property, John, she's a person. Were you just going to keep right on lying to her?
-What the hell do you think? I love Ann. You think I'm going to tell her about Cynthia and hurt her feelings like that?
-God, you need help.
-I need help? Whose sitting by himself in a room choking his chauncey to a bunch of videotapes, Graham? Not me, buddy. You're the fucking nut. Now show me those tapes.
-No.
-I'm not kidding, Graham, you'd better do what I say. Give me those tapes.
-Graham, I swear to Christ I'll kill your scrawny ass. Now give me those tapes.
-Give me your keys.
-Your keys, asshole!! Your two fucking keys!! Give them to me!!
-Have you ever wanted to make love to someone other than your husband?
-Answer him, goddammit!!
-You're hesitating. I think that means you have.
-IBM.
-Brian Kirkland, please.
-May I ask who's calling?
-John Millaney.
-One moment.
-Mr. Millaney?
-Yes?
-Mr. Millaney?
-Yeah.
-Mr. Forman would like to see you in his office.
-Okay, in a minute, I'm on with a client.
-He said immediately.
-...probably nothing at all. It's probably just a bunch of, I don't know, fatty cysts. You can have them removed in a doctor's office. Has Nick seen a doctor?
-He hates doctors. Doctors and lawyers. He never goes to doctors.
-Well, look. How's this? You go on down to the clinic and tell that nice Dr. St. Luc... ...you tell him that Nick's ill, he's got these lumps, and he can't get out of bed. Tell him to come when you're sure Nick'll be home. And don't tell Nick anything. Let the two of them fight it out.
-He'll be really mad.
-Hi.
-Hi. Want a drink?
-No thanks. Just wanted to tell you that Dr. St. Luc is coming up to see Nick at ten or so.
-Oh, you feel very good, Betts. You have such a cosy body. I'm jealous, I'm so skinny.
-C'mon, let's smoke one of the cigarettes right now. Your father'll never miss it.
-I can't, dummy. He'll see that the pack's been opened. You're such a dumbhead.
-OK, then. I'm gonna go back to the store and buy my own pack and smoke 'em all myself.
-Buy 'em with what, dumbhead?
-Jesus!
-Dr. St. Luc? Detective-Sergeant Heller. I'd like to ask you a few questions.
-Sure.
-You're the one who found the bodies?
-Yes.
-Did you touch anything? Move anything before we got here?
-No, nothing.
-You knew these people?
-I knew the man, Emil Hobbes, a doctor and a professor at university. I saw the girl around the building but I didn't know her. She never came to the clinic.
-So you just came up to visit this Hobbes and you found them like that?
-Oh, no. I haven't seen Dr. Hobbes since I was in medical school. He taught me... he was my prof in urology and... I think he conducted a few seminars in psychopharmacology. That was it. I had no idea he'd ever set foot in Starliner Towers until today.
-It was very strange. He called me at six this morning. Hobbes called me. I thought I was dreaming. I haven't heard that voice for so long. He told me who it was, then he said something like, 'Meet me at apartment 1208 at noon. I want you to go out for lunch with me. It's time you furthered your education.' Then he laughed
-How did he sound this time? Was he nervous? Depressed?
-And that was her. Annabelle Horse... field.
-Is that the man who called you up here?
-Yeah, that's Dr. St. Luc. He's the head of our little medical clinic here.
-Medical clinic?
-Yeah. This is an island, you know? Takes too long to get into the city. We gotta have everything right here or somebody complains.
-Mrs. Ementhal's ready and waiting, Doctor.
-OK, Roger. Here's the stuff you wanted. Files on Horsefield, Tudor, Swinburne, and Velakofsky. Papers published by Hobbes, Linsky, and Lefebvre in a couple of issues of the Bulletin of the Canadian Medical Association and also the Journal of the American Medical Association. And, as an added extra, a couple of odds and ends from the files I helped compile before your time here,
-That's great, Forsythe, great. Thanks.
-Kiss, kiss?
-Another kiss?
-C'mon, Forsythe. Are there any more on the list?
-Roger? If you're going to be staying here anyway, why don't you come up to my place for a late supper?
-Meeting Rollo at Tudor's. Might take a while.
-Anything wrong?
-No. I don't think so.
-Well? Supper at my place?
-OK. But late.
-Forsythe, Forsythe! What's wrong? What's happened?
-Where is he now? Do you know?
-I think I... I think I killed him. I stabbed him with something and he fell.
-Will you be OK now? I've got to go to your place to see if he's still there. I've got to see if it's... if it's what we both think it is.
-But where are you going?
-Can I call you at the office?
-What do you want to call me at the office for?
-I don't know. I just thought I might want to call you. I don't know.
-You say something?
-Do you want to make love? You're absolutely beautiful, those eyes, that expression. You're absolutely the most sexy thing alive. Do you want to make love?
-You will make love to me, won't you, Janine? Won't you make love to me? You start it. Won't you? I think I've forgotten how to start.
-Oh, Nick, Nick... I can't take this.
-Make love to me, make love to me, love, love to me...
-What happened?
-Where is this thing that attacked your wife?
-Go back to their apartment with them and treat her for second-degree burns. It'll have to do for now. What's your number? The number of your apartment?
-We live in 703.
-Yes? Who is there?
-It's Dr. St. Luc, Mr Spergazzi. Let me speak to the nurse, please.
-Want me to breathe deeply?
-Good shape for an old man, eh?
-Mr. Parkins, what makes you think you caught these lumps of yours from a young lady?
-She had a couple just like them. Right here near her belly button. You could push 'em around. I thought they were kinda sexy, myself.
-Didn't she ever have these lumps looked at by a doctor?
-Didn't seem worried about them.
-Was this girl from Starliner Towers?
-Yep. She lived in 1208. But we usually went to my place. Bigger liquor cabinet, bigger bed. She was gone when I got back from my last Florida trip. Too bad. Had a beautiful tan. Must have gone home to mother.
-Was her name Annabelle Horsefield?
-I'm going to send you to the hospital to have a few X-rays taken. I want to find out exactly what you're hiding in there, OK? Give them this. The address is right there under Radiology.
-Gonna cut me open?
-Well, let's wait for the X-rays.
-Not exactly the kind of lunch Hobbes would have laid on you, Rog, but it's all I got, and... ...all I got I share with you. Go ahead. Take all you want.
-You touch my spleen, Rollo. And here all the time I was thinking -- if I ever bothered to think about the good old days -- well, at least there's Rollo. He's in VD and he's happy.
-I'm still a VD man under the skin, Rog. You know me. I'm a down-to-earth kinda guy, right?
-Well, at least you still talk the same.
-So who changes?
-But you gave up your private practice. Suddenly you're into pure research and you... you're what, a parasitologist?
-I know. You're bored already. Transplants are yesterday's kishkas, right?
-Did I say anything?
-You put the bug into the body of a man with a diseased kidney, the bug attacks the bad kidney, dissolves it, it's assimilated by the body, and now you got a perfectly good parasite where you used to have a rotten kidney. I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna say it's crazy.
-Right. It's crazy. But here's the beauty part. Ready? Who cares?
-I don't get it.
-Rog, I gotta talk serious to you. Really. Listen. Ya listening? OK. I want you to come into this with me. To tell the honest-to-God truth, I'm lonely. All Hobbes ever did was run around getting money and phone me in the middle of the night. He wanted you in anyway. That's why we were gonna get together, the three of us. We would
-Rollo, you know me. Once a GP, always a GP.
-You want to help sick people for the rest of your life? God forbid I should talk you out of it.
-You oughta be careful yourself. Might end up cutting your throat.
-It was women did it to Hobbes. Couldn't handle them. That girl, that Annabelle -- talk about crazy projects.
-Who was she?
-But you'll think about what I said about working together, huh?
-Yes?
-That you, Rog?
-Yes?
-It's me, Rollo Linsky. Remember me?
-Yeah, well, I'm flattered, but you won't find any real meat in them.
-No? How come?
-OK, I bite. What does it look like?
-It looks like -- and I quote -- 'a disease to save man from his mind.'
-I don't get it.
-He didn't make it.
-Huh?
-Maybe Hobbes didn't know it, but Annabelle was a pretty popular girl around Starliner Towers. I've got three men here, maybe four, who're hosting large, free-moving, apparently pathogenic, abdominal growths that nobody I've tried can identify. You were next on my list.
-I'd kinda like to come over there and have a look at one of these guys.
-I've got a date with one of them at ten. Can you make it?
-Yeah. Ah, I don't want to panic you or anything, but, I mean, the way Hobbes designed them, they're supposed to get out of hand real quick, so you don't have much time to think about what's happening to you. Once they decide to start pumping all those dynamite juices into the old blood stream... I dunno. But if you see some people doing
-Yeah? What do I do then?
-OK. It's apartment 1009, South Tower, Starliner Towers. May as well go there directly.
-NIGHT NIGHT
-NIGHT NIGHT
-GOT THE HOT FLUSH SYMPTOMS AND I'M FEELING FREAKY
-YOUNG MALE INTERN, TALL AND HANDSOME
-GOT MY HEM SO HIGH THEY'LL SAY I'M BEING CHEEKY
-BREAKING OUT
-BREAKING OUT
-BREAKING OUT
-BREAKING OUT
-BREAKING OUT
-You bet, Bert.
-Later, Brenda. Ah, Bert, could you spare a moment?
-How's Brad?
-A wreck.
-Check. The quacks are willing tools?
-Fools!
-I wouldn't mind doing Janet one or two favours.
-Sank you! Velcome! Sank you!
-What's cookin', Bert?
-They should be sent to the Danube before Dawn.
-What?
-About Brad's family?
-You got it!
-I got it! I got it!!!
-Infantile regression.
-You got it!
-Introduce yourselves.
-We've been hearing some bad things about you, Brad.
-I know, I know, it's just...
-Do you watch 'Dentonvale,' Janet?
-I've caught it once or twice.
-I know he's boring but... Neuro-specialists! That sounds pretty drastic.
-Is it because I'm becoming too popular?
-Right! An early start with Janet's debut on 'Good Morning Denton.' By the time we unveil Farley's 'Faith Factory' we will have earned our beauty sleep.
-Can I just 'peep in' on Brad before I go home?
-When do I get to see Brad?
-But...how?
-SIN-I-FUL
-Dear old Bert's settled everything.
-How did you come by this scenario?
-I am in Farley's employ -- and... ...we're discussing a network deal.
-Why Janet?
-Everyone loves the girl next door, particularly Farley.
-In my time they used to call me the Merlin of Berlin.
-Of course, Mrs. Majors -- Janet -- But I'm puzzled. If she was so keen on getting him in here, why wouldn't she sign the contract?
-No it wasn't Janet -- exactly -- It was, in fact, your new sponsor.
-SPONSOR!!!
-Dentonvale has been sold.
-With Fast Food Farley at the helm it'll be TV dinners from now on.
-We're the experts.
-Out of self comes selflessness.
-In a way...
-I detect a note of reticence. Are you, perhaps, one of those amongst us who feel this emotive form of presentation is overly manipulative?
-Thank you so much, Judge Wright, for another wonderful interview.
-Judge Wright? Now, Betty? First name terms, surely!
-Oh, Oliver, you're so tolerant. Time for a coffee before you rush off?
-Delighted, Betty -- That is if you don't mind being seen with an older man.
-A free thinker.
-Macy Struthers -- God I must have been blind -- still, the weaker the man, the dumber the blonde.
-McKinley?...McKinley?
-Conspiracy? That sounds a little farfetched.
-It's happened before. Remember Lieutenant Orpheus? He disappeared into that Underworld series and never came back.
-Sounds like my husband. He never came back either. At least not after Flavors gave him a commercial break.
-Conspiracy is right. The Denton Dossier is...
-I bet that Macy Struthers had a hand in this. We'll probably be replaced by an hour of fashion tips!
-Now Betty, don't overreact.
-Overreact! You're the one with theories about conspirac... Oliver?
-Yes, Betty.
-Clever of you to find this spot, Betty.
-A 'stately pleasure home' indeed.
-Look. Look at that. Bert Schnick can see. Why...he's...dancing.
-Did you /hear/ that, Oliver.
-Care to indulge?
-Indulge?
-Betty, it's imperative we get Janet out of Flavors' fast fingers and Brad out of that hell-hole before they both disappear forever. If only I could place that name -- McKinley?
-He was a President.
-President? Past Presidents! Betty, this is beginning to add up.
-Really. What'll I pin this on?
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT FOR ENSLAVEMENT
-Oh. Ah, I'm not calling at an inconvenient moment am I?
-Not at all. You have your life. And I have mine.
-I'll leave you young things to it.
-Shove it, Ralph!
-Oh, Oliver. What are we going to do?
-That's us.
-I don't want to get up there.
-I'm not going, Janet.
-What are you trying to do? Make Bert look like a fool? He's made all the arrangements.
-I'M LOOKING FOR LOVE
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT FOR COMPASSION
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT FOR THE FASHION
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT TO BE FUNNY
-I'VE TOOK AS MUCH OF YOU AS ANY MAN CAN YOU'VE LOST YOUR HEART
-YOU'VE LOST YOUR CAUSE
-AN' YOU'RE A WEEPER AND A WAILER ALWAYS TREADING THE TOES OF THE GREAT GENERALLY SPREADING YOUR WEIGHT YOU'RE A SPITEFUL, HATEFUL ASININE CREATURE A PUPIL WITH NO SCRUPLES WHO KNEW BETTER THAN THE TEACHER
-I'VE TOOK AS MUCH OF YOU AS ANY MAN CAN
-YOU'VE LOST YOUR HEART
-YOU'VE LOST YOUR CAUSE
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT FOR FOR EACH OTHER
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT FOR FOR THEIR LOVERS
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT FOR FOR IMPROVEMENT
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT FOR MOVEMENT
-SOME PEOPLE DO IT FOR FOR ENJOYMENT
-YOU'LL FIND A RAMBLING ROSE AND A PICKET FENCE
-Mental instability?
-He was adopted you know.
-I'd forgotten.
-What are you talking about? Danny Slepstrini is a chip off the old block. I played 18 holes of golf with his father just last week. And Hank says Danny's moved to New York. To better himself.
-Oh, Harry. What are we going to do?
-Well...maybe I could wear my black leather brogues?
-LIKE A VIRGIN WITH AN' URGIN' IN A SURGERY I'LL BE SWINGING -- I'LL BE BRINGING OUT THE NURSE IN ME
-Mr. Flavors -- may I have a moment of your time?
-Sure thing.
-We've heard rumors that you're going to unveil more than just a new series tonight. Is this true?
-Absolutely correct.
-Could you tell us a little about it?
-Let's just say that I'm putting sanity back on the national menu.
-Could I do that later?
-But they only think they're happy.
-I won't be a party to this. I want to see Brad.
-The question is, does Brad want to see you? Quite frankly, he hates you.
-It's only one night, Janet. Let's not forget who we're doing this for?
-Brad! Oh, Brad.
-Oh my poor baby.
-Oh. Mom. It's Brad.
-They call it a new look at an old favourite I copied it from the 'Window on the World' show. The Far East meets the Mid-West!
-It's...
-Just what the Doctor ordered. I know. Come on in, my favourite show's just started.
-Poor Brad.
-You shouldn't have said that.
-Why?
-I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am.
-Janet! Where's that lovely dress I made you?
-Oh, Mac ran up this little crowd-pleaser.
-You're practically naked!
-Hey! What are you trying to do? Get yourself committed?
-I'm sorry, Officer.
-Vance! Vance Parker.
-Janet. Janet Majors. It's just that Brad...my husband...is not... very well and... I don't want to miss the next episode of Dentonvale.
-Dentonvale...say, that's for... I'm sorry to hear that, Janet. Look I'm going to let you through, but keep it to yourself, otherwise...
-Thanks Officer Park...Vance.
-BUT WITHOUT YOU AND ME, SIS THE WORLD'D FALL TO PIECES VENA CAVA WHO'S THE RAVER?
-I NEED SOME
-YOUNG BLOOD
-I NEED SOME
-YOUNG BLOOD
-I NEED IT NOW I NEED SOME
-YOUNG BLOOD
-I NEED SOME
-No! He's never done that before.
-Just one or two details. Does he have any living relatives? Blood relatives?
-I'm...happy.
-Brad has deep feelings of hostility towards you.
-Me?
-I want to see Brad.
-Is it true they're all midgets with big heads?
-You are the most desirable creature that ever walked.
-If only Brad could have found it within his heart to say these things to me.
-He will. But it's up to you to reawaken his feelings. You've got to be fabulous, look, think and appear fabulous. And Farley's given you that chance. You can use the Breakfast Show to knock Denton dead.
-Do you really think so?
-You've got a really tight team around you. And everybody needs you!
-But what'll I do? What'll I say? What'll I wear?
-. . .For his own good.
-Brad!
-BRAD!
-Arrest that man! He's committed to our care.
-Let's hear the five 'F's' for today. F for...
-Farley!
-F for...
-Flavors!
-F for...
-Fabulous!
-F for...
-Fast!
-F for...
-Ah. Mr. And Mrs. Majors. How wonderful to see you. I am Dr. Cosmo McKinley and this is my sister, and colleague, Nation McKinley.
-Our speciality.
-HE!!?? How dare this person take advantage of my weakness.
-Our field.
-It's you we're concerned about, Janet.
-That's an extremely negative response.
-This is the nerve center of operations, Janet. You must stay here tonight. That way we can all be here when Mr. Sun paints us a new day with his golden brush.
-I FEEL THE HEAT FROM YOUR SKIN AND THE STUBBLE ON YOUR CHIN YOU'RE NO GOOD
-YOU'VE GOT DIRT ON YOUR HANDS AND EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDS YOU'RE NO GOOD
-WHAT A JOKE...
-WHAT A JOKE...
-YOU FEL LIKE CHOKING YOU PLAY FOR BROKE...
-YOU PLAY FOR BROKE...
-HE LEAVES YOU SMOKING...
-OH ROMANCE IS NOT A CHILDREN'S GAME...
-THAT MINIMAL
-CRIMINAL
-This could be worse than the old series.
-Hi! Macy Struthers -- co-host on the F. F. show.
-Ah, Macy. Why don't you help Janet freshen up before rehearsal.
-So all in all it's going to be an exciting new series for us...
-THIS COULD BE THE START OF A WHOLE NEW CAREER HERE
-LIKE A DEEP PLUM LIPSTICK AND SOME THERAPEUTICS
-And none of them worked?
-And we also know how you feel, we're not strangers to confusion.
-Isn't she lovely?
-Mommy and Daddy love you, Baby.
-She walks in beauty...
-We love you, Baby.
-Nice technique there... ...Cammi.
-It's all in the wrist. You know, you look really familiar. You from around here? Where'd you go to high school?
-No, we're from San Diego. Why?
-I don't know. You just seem really familiar to me. Never mind. Enjoy your meals.
-Hang on. Did you ever know a Derek Sommersby?
-You don't think I fuck you, bitch? I'll fuck you.
-You picked him up and you fucked him, didn't you, bitch?
-I picked him up and I fucked him. I'm a bad girl.
-And you liked fucking him, didn't you, you fat little whore?
-The fuck was that?
-Don't bother him with that. We got to get going.
-It's Christine. Hey you.
-Yeah. All twenty minutes so far have been a blast.
-So what's up?
-Really? Because I don't know, I was thinking that --
-Well, then put him at the singles table.
-The problem with that is that then there's one extra --
-Then put him with the Feldmans. Whatever you and your Mom decide is fine with me.
-Don't dismiss me. I'm trying to include you in this decision. He's your friend.
-I didn't dismiss you. I told you what I thought, but it didn't seem to matter, so you decide. Besides, this is supposed to be my time with Miles. I hope you're not going to call every five minutes.
-I'm not going to call every five minutes, but this is important.
-Why are you being so defensive?
-I don't know, Christine. Perhaps it's because I feel attacked.
-I ask you one simple question, and suddenly I'm attacking you.
-Listen. I'll call you when we get there, and we can talk about it then, okay?
-Bye.
-I love you.
-Miles.
-Hey, Evelyn, it's your favorite client.
-How's the trip?
-Good, good. Drinking some good wines and kicking back, you know. So what's happening? Still no word?
-Actually there is word. I spoke to Keith Kurtzman this morning.
-And?
-And... they're passing. Conundrum's passing. He said they really liked it. They really wanted to do it, but they just couldn't figure out how to market it. He said it was a tough call.
-Huh.
-Are you there? Miles?
-Yeah, I'm here.
-I'm sorry, Miles. We did all we could. You've been a real trooper. Tell him I'll call back.
-So I guess that's it.
-Hey, Miles. Long time no see.
-Gary.
-When's that novel of yours coming out? We all want to read it.
-Soon, soon. Say, this is my buddy Jack. He's getting married next week.
-My condolences.
-What are you pouring tonight?
-Lot of good stuff. Got the new Bien Nacido. Want a taste?
-What do you think?
-How's it hanging, Miles?
-You know me. I love it up here. How about you?
-Busy night for a Tuesday. We had a busload of retired folks in on a wine tour. Usually they're not too rowdy, but tonight there was something going on. Full moon or something. What can I get you?
-Highliner.
-Glass or bottle?
-Bottle.
-You got it.
-Say, is Maya working?
-You okay, Miles?
-They're from both of us.
-Jeez, Mrs. Raymond, that was eleven years ago.
-Well, you were wonderful on that show. I never understood why they had to give you that brain tumor so soon. Why that didn't make you the biggest movie star in the world is a sin. It's a sin.
-Yeah, well, you should be my agent.
-If I was, I would sing your praises up and down the street until they put me in the loony bin. Now Miles, why didn't you tell me you were coming and bringing this handsome man? Look how I'm dressed. I've got to run and put my face on.
-You look fabulous, Mrs. Raymond.
-Mrs. Raymond, this is delicious. Absolutely delicious.
-They're just leftovers.
-Is it chicken?
-And what was that other one you did, the one where you're the jogger?
-Oh, that was for, uh, wait... That was for Spray and Wash.
-Spray and Wash. That's the one.
-Yeah, I remember the girl who was in it with me. She was something.
-Two years ago, buddy.
-She was good for you. And so beautiful and intelligent. You knew her, right?
-Oh, yeah. Real well. Still do.
-Hey, guys. How's it going?
-Excellent. My friend and I are up here doing the wine tour, and he tells me that you folks make one hell of a Syrah.
-Now there's a girl who knows how to pour. What's your name?
-Stephanie.
-Tastes good to me. You live around here, Stephanie?
-In Santa Ynez. And I agree with you about Cab Franc.
-Oh yeah? We're just over in Buellton. Windmill Inn.
-Oh yeah.
-You know a gal named Maya? Works at the Hitching Post?
-Sure I know Maya. Real well.
-You're a bad, bad girl, Stephanie.
-How you doin' tonight, beautiful?
-Good. How're you?
-Great. You look great. You both do.
-I'm thinking about the duck breast.
-What happened to you guys?
-Hi.
-I can explain.
-Hiya.
-Highliner, please.
-Are you a writer too?
-No, I'm an actor.
-Oh yeah? What kind of stuff?
-A lot of TV. I was a regular on a couple of series. And lately I've been doing a lot of commercials. National mostly.
-Anything I'd know?
-That's hilarious. You sound just like one of those guys.
-I am one of those guys.
-Whatever you girls want. It's on us tonight. Sky's the limit.
-No, we're paying for the wine.
-I don't think so. We're celebrating Miles's book deal.
-Where the fuck were you, man? I was dying in there. We were supposed to be a hundred miles away by now.
-I can't help the traffic.
-Come on. You're fucking hungover.
-Why did you tell them my book was being published?
-You said you had it all lined up.
-No, I didn't. What I said was that my agent had heard there was some interest at Conundrum...
-Yeah, Conundrum.
-...and that one of the editors was passing it up to a senior editor. She was supposed to hear something this week, but now it's next week, and... It's always like this. It's always a fucking waiting game. I've been through it too many times already.
-I don't know. Senior editor? Sounds like you're in to me.
-Don't open that now. It's warm.
-Come on, we're celebrating. I say we pop it.
-Shut up. Here's to a great week.
-Yes. Absolutely. Despite your crass behavior, I'm really glad we're finally getting this time together.
-Yeah.
-Oh, that's tasty.
-100% Pinot Noir. Single vineyard. They don't even make it anymore.
-Pinot Noir? How come it's white? Doesn't noir mean dark?
-Jesus. Don't ask questions like that up in the wine country. They'll think you're a moron.
-Just tell me.
-Color in the red wines comes from the skins. This juice is free run, so there's no skin contact in the fermentation, ergo no color.
-Did you read the latest draft, by the way?
-Oh, yeah. Yeah.
-And?
-I liked it a lot. A lot of improvements. It just seemed overall, I don't know, tighter, more... congealed or something.
-How about the new ending? Did you like that?
-Oh yeah. Much better.
-There is no new ending. Page 750 on is exactly the same.
-Whoa, why are we getting off?
-I've just got to make one quick stop. Won't take a second.
-What?
-I thought we could just say a quick hello to my mother.
-Your mother? Jesus, Miles, we were supposed to be up there hours ago.
-How old's she going to be?
-Um... seventy... something.
-Let me show you something. The secret to opening champagne is that once the cork is released, you keep pressure on it so you don't --
-This Saturday, Mom, remember? We told you.
-Fuck, man. Too early in the morning for that, you know what I mean?
-She's a kid, Jack. I don't even look at that stuff anymore.
-That's your problem, Miles.
-As if she'd even be attracted to guys like us in the first place.
-Speak for yourself. I get chicks looking at me all the time. All ages.
-It'd be the best thing for you. You know what? I'm going to get you laid this week. That's going to be my best man gift to you. I'm not going to give you a pen knife or a gift certificate or any of that other horseshit.
-I'd rather have a knife.
-No. No. You've been officially depressed for like two years now, and you were always a negative guy anyway, even in college. Now it's worse -- you're wasting away. Teaching English to fucking eighth-graders when they should be reading what you wrote. Your books.
-You still seeing that shrink?
-I went on Monday. But I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.
-Well, I say fuck therapy and what's that stuff you take, Xanax?
-And Lexapro, yes.
-Well, I say fuck that. You need to get your joint worked on, that's what you need.
-Jack. This week is not about me. It's about you. I'm going to show you a good time. We're going to drink a lot of good wine, play some golf, eat some great food, enjoy the scenery and send you off in style.
-You know what? Let's take the Santa Rosa turnoff and hit Sanford first.
-Whatever's closest, man. I need a glass.
-These guys make top-notch Pinot and Chardonnay. One of the best producers in Santa Barbara county. Look how beautiful this view is. What a day!
-I thought you hated Chardonnay.
-Hey, Miles. I really hope your novel sells.
-So what'd you guys finally decide on for the menu?
-I told you. Filet and salmon.
-Yeah, but how are they making the salmon? Poached with a yogurt-dill sauce? Teriyaki? Curry?
-I don't know. Salmon. Don't you always have white wine with fish?
-Oh, Jesus. Look, at some point we have to find out because it's going to make a big difference.
-Let me call Christine.
-Doesn't have to be now. Let's go taste.
-Baked with a butter-lime glaze.
-This is rose, right?
-Good, yeah, it is a rose. Only this one is rather atypically made from 100% Pinot Noir.
-First take your glass and examine the wine against the light. You're looking at color and clarity.
-What color is it supposed to be?
-Depends on the varietal. Just get a sense of it. Thick? Thin? Watery? Syrupy? Inky? Amber, whatever...
-Huh.
-What do you smell?
-Huh. Maybe a little strawberry. Yeah, strawberry. I'm not so sure about the cheese.
-That's what you do with every one.
-When do we get to drink it?
-How would you rate this one?
-You know, you could work in a wine store.
-Are you chewing gum?
-Hey Jack, hurry up!
-I thought you said it was close. Now I'm all pitted out.
-It's not even a mile.
-We should have driven.
-Not with the wine list these people have. We don't want to hold back.
-You think I'm making a mistake marrying Christine?
-Whoa.
-Come on, do you think I'm doing the right thing? Tell the truth. You've been through it.
-Well, you waited for good reason, and you proposed to Christine for some good reason. So I think it's great. It's time. You've got to have your eyes open, that's all. I mean, look at me. I thought Victoria and I were set for life.
-Christine's dad -- he's been talking about bringing me into his property business. Showing me the ropes. And that's something, considering how long it took him to get over I'm not Armenian. So I'm thinking about it. But I don't know, might get a little incestuous. But Mike does pretty well. A lot of high-end commercial stuff.
-So you're going to stop acting?
-No way. This would just provide some stability is what I'm saying. I can always squeeze in an audition or a commercial here and there, you know, keep myself in the game in case something big comes along.
-Uh-huh.
-We're not getting any younger, right? And my career, well, it's gotten pretty, you know, frustrating. Even with my new manager. Maybe it's time to settle down.
-If that's what feels right.
-It does. Feels right.
-Then it's a good thing.
-Yeah. Tight.
-Here's to my last week of freedom.
-Oh, yeah. That's Maya.
-You know her?
-Sure I know Maya.
-You know that chick?
-Jack, this is where I eat when I come up here. It's practically my office. And sometimes I have a drink with the employees. Maya's great. She's worked here about a year, maybe a year and a half.
-She is very hot.
-Doesn't mean shit. When Christine was a hostess at Sushi Roku, she wore a big engagement ring to keep guys from hitting on her. Think it worked? Fuck no. How do you think I met her?
-This gal's married to I think a Philosophy professor at UC Santa Barbara.
-So what's a professor's wife doing waitressing? Obviously that's over.
-Jesus, she's jammin'. And she likes you. What else do you know about her?
-Well, she does know a lot about wine.
-Ooooooohh. Now we're getting somewhere.
-And she likes Pinot.
-Perfect.
-Jack, she's a fucking waitress in Buellton. How would that ever work?
-Why do you always focus on the negative? Didn't you see how friendly she was to you?
-She works for tips!
-The girl is looking to party, and you tell her we're going to go back to our motel room and crash? Jesus, Miles!
-Well, I'm tired. Aren't you tired?
-The chick digs you. She lit up like a pinball machine when she heard your novel was getting published.
-Now I've got another lie to live down. Thanks, Jack.
-I'm trying to get you some action, but you've got to help me out just a little bit.
-Didn't seem to me like that's what was going on. You were all over her.
-Somebody had to do the talking. And by the way, I was right. She's not married.
-How do you know?
-Single. Waitress. Getting off work. Looking for love. A little slap and tickle.
-Shut up.
-Have you no shame?
-Oooh. Oh. Miles. Miles.
-So what're we going to have? Pigs in a blanket? The "rancher's special breakfast"? Or maybe just some grease and fat with a side of lard?
-So what's the plan today?
-I am going to get my nut on this trip, Miles. And you are not going to fuck it up for me with all your depression and anxiety and neg-head downer shit.
-Ooooh, now the cards are on the table.
-Yes they are. And I'm serious. Do not fuck with me. I am going to get laid before I settle down on Saturday. Do you read me?
-Sure, big guy. Whatever you say. It's your party. I'm sorry I'm in the way and dragging you down. Maybe you'd have a better time on your own. You take the car. I'll catch the train back.
-Nice, huh?
-Beautiful.
-Victoria and I used to like this view. Once we had a picnic here and drank a '95 Opus One. With smoked salmon and artichokes, but we didn't care.
-Miles.
-She has the best palate of any woman I've ever known. She could even differentiate Italian wines.
-Miles, I gotta tell you something. Victoria's coming to the wedding.
-I know. You told me. I'm okay with it.
-Yeah, but that's not the whole story. She got remarried.
-She what? When?
-About a month ago. Six weeks.
-Jesus Christ, Miles. Get out!
-I want to go home now.
-You've been divorced for two years already. People move on. She has! It's like you enjoy self-pity. Makes you feel special or something.
-Is she bringing him to the wedding?
-What do you think?
-You drop this bombshell on me. Why didn't you tell me before?
-Because I knew you'd freak out and probably get so depressed you wouldn't even come on this trip. But then I figured here would be the best place to tell you. We're here to forget about all that shit. We're here to party!
-I'm going to be a fucking pariah. Everyone's just going to be holding their breath to see if I'm going to get drunk and make a scene. Plus Tony fucking Levin?
-No, no, no. It's cool. I talked to Victoria. She's cool. Everyone's cool.
-You gotta excuse him. Yesterday he didn't know Pinot Noir from film noir.
-A bad girl, Miles. She might need to be spanked.
-Get the trunk.
-We're on.
-What?
-She called Maya, who's not working tonight, so we're all going out.
-With Maya?
-Stephanie, holy shit. Chick had it all going on.
-Well, she is cute.
-You know how often these pourers get hit on? I'm going for a swim. Get the blood flowing. Want to come?
-So what should I wear?
-Please just try to be your normal humorous self, okay? Like who you were before the tailspin. Do you remember that guy? People love that guy. And don't forget -- your novel is coming out in the fall.
-Oh yeah? How exciting. What's it called?
-Do not sabotage me. If you want to be a lightweight, that's your call. But do not sabotage me.
-Aye-aye, captain.
-And if they want to drink Merlot, we're drinking Merlot.
-If anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am not drinking any fucking Merlot!
-And don't drink too much. I don't want you going to the dark side or passing out. Do you hear me? No going to the dark side.
-Pull yourself together, man.
-Where were you?
-Bathroom.
-Stop it. You are blowing a great opportunity here, Miles. Fucking Maya, man. She's great. She's cool. She's funny. She knows wine. What is this morose come-down bullshit? These girls want to party. And what was that fucking ten-minute lecture on, what was it, Vouvrays? I mean, come on!
-Let's just say I'm uncomfortable with the whole scenario.
-And don't forget all the bad times you had with Victoria. How small she make you feel. That's why you had the affair in the first place.
-Shut up. Shut your face.
-Goddamn, Miles, she is nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.
-Oh, hey, change of plans. Steph's off today, so she and I are going on a hike.
-We were supposed to play golf.
-You go. In fact, use my clubs. They're brand new -- gift from Christine's dad. It's on me. Oh, say, by the way, Stephanie and me were thinking we'd all go to the Hitching Post tonight and sit at one of Maya's tables, and she'll bring us some great wines and then we can all --
-Count me out.
-Later.
-Oh, boy.
-She's been leaving messages here too.
-You should call her.
-I will. See ya!
-Right now.
-What'd Christine say?
-Hey, there you are.
-Yep.
-Where is Stephanie?
-Upstairs. Getting cleaned up.
-What the fuck are you doing?
-What?
-Does she know about Saturday?
-Besides what?
-Well... I don't know, just... the wedding.
-What?
-Well, I've been doing some thinking.
-Oh, you've been thinking. And?
-Being with Stephanie has opened my eyes. She's not uptight or controlling. She's just cool. Things are so easy with her. Smells different. Tastes different. Fucks different. Fucks like an animal. I'm telling you, I went deep last night, Miles. Deep.
-I was hoping to get some understanding from you. And I'm not getting it.
-Understanding of what?
-Like I might be in love with another woman.
-In love? Twenty-four hours with some wine-pourer chick and you think you're in love? And give up everything?
-Look who's talking. You've been there.
-Yes I have, and do I look like a happy man? Was all that drama with Brenda a happy thing for me to do? Huh? Was it? Is she a part of my life now?
-This is totally different. I'm talking about avoiding what you're talking about. That's the distinction. I have not made the commitment yet. I am not married. I have not said the words. In a few days, I might get married, and if I do, then I won't be doing stuff like this anymore. Otherwise, what's the whole point of getting married?
-And what about Stephanie? She's a woman -- with a kid. A single mom. What do you think she's looking for? Huh?
-Here's what I'm thinking. We move up here, you and me, buy a vineyard. You design your own wine; I'll handle the business side. Then you get inspired and write a new novel. As for me, if an audition comes along, hell, LA'S two hours away. Not even.
-You're crazy. You've gone crazy.
-What do you care anyway? You don't even like Christine.
-What? Of course I like Christine.
-You said she was shallow. Yeah, and a nouveau riche.
-That was three years ago after that first party!
-Listen, I'm going to make sure Steph and Siena get home safe, and then maybe we'll hook up with you later, okay?
-Call me on my cell if you go out.
-That's a public course. No Stephanie?
-Did you ever got ahold of Maya yesterday?
-Nope.
-She likes you, man. Stephanie'll tell you.
-Can you give me some room here?
-You know, in life you gotta strike when the iron's hot.
-Nice shot.
-What about your agent? Hear anything yet?
-Nope.
-What do you think's going on?
-Could be anything.
-Been checking your messages?
-Obsessively.
-Huh.
-They probably think my book is such a piece of shit that it's not even worthy of a response. I guess I'll just have to learn how to kiss off three years of my life.
-Don't come over the top. Stay still.
-Shut up.
-Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! What's the matter with you, man? SHUT UP!
-What is it?
-Fucker hit into us.
-Hey, asshole! That's not cool!
-Just don't give up on Maya. Cool smart chicks like that --they like persistence.
-I don't want to talk about it.
-Is it the money thing?
-Is what the money thing?
-With Maya.
-Well, yeah, that's part of it. Woman finds out how I live, that I'm not a published author, that I'm a liar essentially, then yeah, any interest is gonna evaporate real quick. If you don't have money at my age, you're not even in the game. You're just a pasture animal waiting for the abattoir.
-Is an abattoir like a... like a... what is that?
-Slaughterhouse.
-We're on.
-What's happening?
-We're going to have some fun. Remember fun? We're going to have some of it. Okay?
-What exactly are we going to do?
-I said okay?
-You have to tell me --
-You ever actually read any of this guy's books?
-He wrote a great one on Burgundy, and I used to get his newsletter, but then there were doubts about whether he does all his own tasting. Plus a couple of times he declared certain years vintages of the century, and they turned out to be turkeys. Fucker never retracted.
-Yo! Yo! Here's my boy! Here's my boy! Who's your daddy, boy? Who is yo' daddy?
-So tell me everything. Details. I like details.
-No.
-What?
-It's private.
-You're kidding, right? Tell me what happened, you fucker, or I'll tie your dick in a knot.
-You didn't get any, did you? You're a homo.
-Just stop, okay? Make something up, and that's what happened. Whatever you want. Write my confession, and I'll sign it. Just stop pushing me all the time! I can't take it! You're an infant! This is all a big party for you, but not for me! This is serious. And you -- Just... leave me alone, okay? You're fucking me up.
-Did you have trouble performing? Yeah, that's...
-This whole week has gone sour. It isn't turning out like it was supposed to. I want to go home.
-Who's being selfish now? I'm the one getting married. I thought this week was supposed to be about me.
-We gotta slow down. I'm so tired. Let's just get out of here.
-Do you like them?
-Yeah, they're great. Sporty. They're really sporty.
-How about this one? We didn't hit this one.
-Yeah, it's Frass Canyon. It's a joke.
-You ever actually been in there, Miles?
-I don't have to.
-Tastes like the back of a fucking LA schoolbus. Probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine mouthwash bullshit. Fucking Raid.
-I don't know. Tastes okay to me. Hey, they got a reserve pinot.
-Let me use your phone.
-What's up?
-Just write another one. You have lots of ideas, right?
-No, I'm finished. I'm not a writer. I'm a middle-school English teacher. I'm going to spend the rest of my life grading essays and reading the works of others. It's okay. I like books. The world doesn't give a shit what I have to say. I'm unnecessary. I'm so insignificant, I can't even kill myself.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-You know -- Hemingway, Sexton, Woolf, Plath, Delmore Schwartz. You can't kill yourself before you've even been published.
-What about that guy who wrote Confederacy of Dunces? He committed suicide before he got published, and look how famous he is.
-Thanks.
-Don't give up. You're going to make it.
-Half my life is over, and I have nothing to show for it. I'm a thumbprint on the window of a skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage.
-See? Right there. Just what you just said. That's beautiful. A thumbprint on a skyscraper. I couldn't write that.
-Aren't you glad you didn't move up here and marry her?
-Don't need a lecture. You fucking told Maya, didn't you?
-No, I did not. Must have been Gary at the Hitching Post. I think we mentioned it to him the first night.
-You told him. I'm fucking hurting here.
-Well?
-I'm going to need an operation. Maybe a couple of them. They have to wait for it it to heal first. Then they break it again.
-Good thing you have a voice-over career.
-Gonna fuck that up too. I should sue her ass. Only reason I won't is to protect Christine.
-That's thoughtful.
-So how did Stephanie know it was Saturday? We didn't get into that with Gary.
-Huh. Let me think.
-You sure you didn't say anything to Maya?
-What's it look like to you?
-You know what I'm thinking?
-What's that?
-I'm thinking it's time to settle down. One woman. One house. You know. It's time.
-I bet you that chick is two tons of fun. You know, the grateful type.
-She gets off in an hour, so I think I'm just going to have a drink and then... make sure she gets home safe.
-Fucking chick's married.
-What?
-Her husband works a night shift or something, and he comes home, and I'm on the floor with my cock in his wife's ass.
-Jesus, Jack. Jesus. And you walked all the way back from Solvang?
-Ran. Twisted my ankle too.
-That's five clicks, Jackson.
-We gotta go back.
-What?
-I left my wallet. My credit cards, cash, fucking ID, everything. We gotta go back.
-Big deal. We'll call right now and cancel your cards.
-You don't understand. The wedding bands. The wedding bands are in my wallet.
-Okay, so they were in your wallet, and you left your wallet somewhere. Some bar. Christine'll understand.
-No. She ordered them special. Took her forever to find them. They've got this design on them with dolphins and our names engraved in Sanskrit. We've got to go back. Christine'll fucking crucify me.
-No way. No way.
-Please, Miles, please.
-She tell you she was married?
-Yeah.
-So what the fuck were you thinking?
-Wasn't supposed to be back till six. Fucker rolls in at five.
-Cutting it a little close, don't you think? So how was she? Compared to Stephanie, say.
-So what's the plan?
-The plan is... you go.
-Me?
-My ankle. Just go explain the situation.
-Uh, excuse me, sir, but my friend was the one balling your wife a couple hours ago, and he seems to have left his wallet behind, and we were wondering...
-Fuck you. I'll get it myself.
-Hey, Jack. Jack.
-Hrnrnrn?
-Yep. Quite a day.
-Want me to drive?
-No, I'm okay.
-Hey, why don't you invite Maya to the wedding?
-Somehow I don't think inviting Maya to your wedding is the right move. In fact, after your bullshit, it's going to be hard for me to even go to the Hitching Post again.
-Come on, let me drive.
-I'm fine. You rest.
-What's wrong?
-What the fuck!
-You said it looked like a car accident.
-What the fuck!
-Look at this!
-I don't know. Doesn't look like anybody got hurt in this one.
-Oh, no. Oh, Christ. No, you don't.
-You broke some.
-Whatever. Sorry.
-Well. That about does it.
-Why don't you come in?
-Uh-uh. You're on your own.
-So I'll see you at the rehearsal.
-Love you, man.
-Hey, don't pull away till they see the car.
-Yeah. Hey, why wasn't I injured?
-Hey, Miles. Good to see you.
-Maya, how are you?
-I'm doing good, good. You look great. Did you lose some weight?
-Oh, no, actually. Busy night.
-Oh yeah, Sunday night. You guys been out tasting today?
-You want to join us?
-So how's that book of yours going, Miles? I think you were almost done with it last time we talked.
-I finished it.
-Yeah, I know what you mean. It's a long drive up here. Where're you staying?
-Well, good to see you, Miles. Jack.
-What are you drinking?
-A Fiddlehead Sauvignon Blanc.
-Oh yeah? How is it?
-Nice. Very nice.
-Twelve months in oak.
-On a Sauvignon Blanc?
-I know the winemaker. She comes in the restaurant all the time.
-This is good. Little hints of clove.
-I'm having the salmon.
-Are you all right?
-Hi.
-Hey.
-She got anything good?
-So what gems do you have in your collection?
-Not much of a collection really. I haven't had the wallet for that, so I sort of live bottle to bottle. But I've got a couple things I'm saving. I guess the star would be a 1961 Cheval Blanc.
-Seriously, the '61s are peaking, aren't they? At least that's what I've read.
-Yeah, I know.
-It might be too late already. What are you waiting for?
-The day you open a '61 Cheval Blanc, that's the special occasion.
-How long have you been into wine?
-I started to get serious about seven years ago.
-What was the bottle that did it?
-Wow. We gotta give it a moment, but this is tasty. Really good. How about you?
-I think they overdid it a bit. Too much alcohol. Overwhelms the fruit.
-Is this Stephanie's kid? Sure is cute.
-Yeah, Siena's a sweetie.
-Is she sleeping or...?
-You got kids?
-Who me? Nah, I'd just fuck them up. That was the one unpolluted part of my divorce -- no kids.
-It's kind of weird sitting here with you in Stephanie's house. All those times you came into the restaurant. It's like you're a real person now. Almost.
-Yeah, I know. It's kind of weird. Out of context.
-Yeah, weird. But great.
-So what's your novel about?
-Well, it's a little difficult to summarize. It begins as a first-person account of a guy taking care of his father after a stroke. Kind of based on personal experience, but only loosely.
-What's the title?
-"The Day After Yesterday."
-Oh. You mean... today?
-Um... yeah but it's more...
-So is it kind of about death and mortality, or...?
-Mrnmm, yeah... but not really. It shifts around a lot. Like you also start to see everything from the point of view of the father. And some other stuff happens, some parallel narrative, and then it evolves -- or devolves -- into a kind of a Robbe-Grillet mystery -- you know, with no real resolution.
-Wow. Anyway, I think it's amazing you're getting it published. Really. I know how hard it is. Just to write it even.
-Yeah. Thanks.
-Like me, I have this stupid paper due on Friday, and as usual I'm freaked out about it. Just like in high school. It never changes.
-A paper?
-Yeah. I'm working on a masters in horticulture. Chipping away at it.
-Horticulture? Wow. I didn't know there was a college here.
-I commute to San Luis Obispo twice a week.
-So... you want to work for a winery or something someday?
-Well...
-I do have a copy of the manuscript in the car. It's not fully proofed, but if you're okay with a few typos...
-Oh yeah. Who cares? I'm the queen of typos. Wow, this is really starting to open up. What do you think?
-My palate's kind of shot, but from what I can tell, I'd dub it pretty damn good.
-Can I ask you a personal question?
-Sure.
-I mean, Cabernets can be powerful and exalting, but they seem prosaic to me for some reason. By comparison. How about you?
-What about me?
-I don't know. Why are you into wine?
-I suppose I got really into wine originally through my ex-husband. He had a big, kind of show-off cellar. But then I found out that I have a really sharp palate, and the more I drank, the more I liked what it made me think about.
-Yeah? Like what?
-Bathroom over there?
-You know how to get back to the Windmill, right?
-Got it.
-I had a good time tonight, Miles. I really did.
-Good. So did I.
-Okay. See you around.
-Um... did you still want to read my novel?
-Hope you like it. Feel free to stop reading at any time. I'll take no offense.
-Hey, Miles, I heard you came by the restaurant last night looking for me.
-Oh, yeah. No. I mean yeah, I stopped by for a drink. Didn't see you.
-I had class.
-Well, nice to see you now.
-You guys should stop by the restaurant for lunch today.
-Great. What's the latest we can get there?
-About two-thirty.
-Okay.
-No, we've got to get back Friday for the rehearsal dinner.
-Were you ever going to say anything?
-Maya.
-I've told him. I've told him over and over, but he's out of control.
-Do you know what he's been saying to her?
-He's an actor, so it can't be good.
-Oh, just that he loves her. That she's the only woman who has ever really rocked his world. How he adores Siena. How he wants to move up here and get a place with the two of them and commute when he has to.
-Please believe me. I was even on the verge of telling you last night, but...
-But you wanted to fuck me first.
-Oh, Maya. No.
-You know, I just spent three years trying to extricate myself from a relationship that turned out to be full of deception. And I've been doing just fine.
-Hi. It's Maya. Please leave a message.
-Hello?
-Victoria.
-Victoria! How the hell are you?
-Fine. What's, uh, what's on your mind?
-Heard you got remarried! Congratulations. Didn't think you had the stomach for another go-round.
-Oh, Miles. You're drunk.
-Where are you?
-Hello?
-Miles, don't call me when you're drunk.
-I just wanted you to know I've decided not to go to the wedding, so in case you were dreading some uncomfortable, you know, run-in or something, well, worry no more. You won't see me there. My wedding gift to you and what's- his-name. What is his name?
-Ken.
-Ken.
-Miles, I don't care if you come to the wedding or not.
-Well, I'm not coming, Barbie. So you guys have fun.
-I'm going to hang up now, Miles.
-I guess I just thought there was still some hope for us somewhere down the road and I just, I just --
-Hi, Vicki. You look beautiful.
-That was big of him.
-Yeah, he's good that way. Very considerate.
-That's great.
-So how're you doing?
-Since the last time we spoke? I don't know. Could be better. Could be worse.
-So what's happening with your book?
-Universally rejected. Strike three.
-Oh, Miles. That's awful. What are you going to do?
-Back to the drawing board, I guess. Or not. So... you're married. Congratulations. You look happy.
-I am.
-Seems like everyone's getting married. A year ago it was all divorces. Now it's all weddings. Cyclical, I guess.
-Well, let's go have some champagne, shall we? Toast all the newlyweds.
-Not me. I'm not drinking.
-You quit drinking?
-I'm pregnant.
-Oh. Huh. Well... Congratulations again, Vicki. That's wonderful news.
-See you over there, Miles.
-How much skin and stem contact?
-About four weeks.
-Huh. That explains all the tannins. And how long in oak?
-About a year.
-French or American?
-Both.
-Pour me a full glass. I'll pay for it.
-Sir, what are you doing?
-I told you I need a drink.
-So what do you think?
-Cabernet Franc. This is only the fifth year we've made this varietal. Very few wineries around here do a straight Cabernet Franc. It's from our vineyard up in Santa Maria. And it was a Silver Medal winner at Paso Robles last year.
-What's everyone ordering? Then we can sort out the wine.
-Should we get dessert?
-Anything but the Jayer Richebourg!
-That was fun last night.
-Yeah. Good food. You've got quite a wine collection. Very impressive.
-Where's Jack?
-So what are you up to today, Miles?
-Just kickin' back, I guess. I don't know. Jack and I were supposed to go golfing.
-Huh.
-Yeah, I reserved the tee time about a month ago.
-Oops. Sorry.
-You golf?
-Me? No, I think it's kind of a stupid game. I mean, at least, I could never get into it. I tried it once.
-Hi, guys. We should probably get going.
-See you, Miles. You take care.
-Stephanie! Stop!
-A famous actor who's getting married next week.
-It was a surprise, Mom.
-You talked to Wendy?
-Just now. She's thrilled. And the kids.
-Yeah, well. You know, Jack's pretty eager to get up to... you know, but, uh, yeah. We'll see how it goes.
-Well, you boys do what you want. I just think it would be nice for us to be together as a family on my birthday.
-Miles, when are you going to get married again?
-Houdini's sick.
-What's the matter?
-What's wrong with the water next to your bed?
-What's the rule about getting up in the middle of the night?
-Only for pee or poop.
-What are you thinking about?
-It makes me feel better.
-Does she ever answer back?
-No.
-There's dust in it.
-This one?
-A hair.
-This one?
-See this is why we're not watching those news reports. People get obsessed. I'm letting go now.
-Daddy.
-I think it's contaminated.
-It's not contaminated. It's just tap water. Pour it in his bowl.
-It tastes funny.
-Not English though. You heard the voices right Uncle Merrill?
-Listen Bo. This is very important. Everything people have written about in science books is going to change. The history of the world's future is on the TV right now. We need to record this so you can show your children this tape and say you were there... For your children Bo.
-My ballet recital.
-The same windows.
-I don't want you to die.
-I'm scared.
-Hi sweetie.
-I was just taking a walk before dinner.
-Does it hurt?
-I don't feel much.
-...Tell Morgan to play games -- it's okay to be silly.
-...I will.
-...Tell Bo to listen to her brother. He'll always take care of her.
-...I will.
-...Tell Graham --
-I'm here.
-And tell Merrill to swing away.
-You do?
-I've had two separate folks tell me they think there are strangers around these parts the last couple of nights. Can't tell what they look like, cause they're staying in the shadows -- covert like. No one's got hurt mind you... And that's the give away.
-I see.
-It's called probing. It's a military procedure. You send a reconnaissance group, very small, to check out things. Not to engage, but to evaluate the situation. Evaluate the level of danger. Make sure things are all clear...
-I got the bat at home... On the wall.
-Five. The five longest.
-Okay, this guy is trying to scare us. He's messed with our property, he's coming around the house. It's time for an ass whoopin'!
-Explain, act crazy?
-Curse and stuff.
-I'm not going to curse.
-You don't mean it. It's just for show.
-It doesn't sound natural when I curse.
-Just make noises then.
-Explain noises.
-Are you going to do this or what?
-No I'm not.
-I cursed.
-It was very dark.
-It was very dark.
-This guy got on the roof in like a second.
-That roof is over ten feet high.
-Pharmacy crowded?
-It's noise.
-It's probably picking up another baby monitor.
-Morgan, be careful.
-Do you think it's a possibility?
-Yes.
-How can you say that?
-That wasn't the answer you wanted?
-Do you feel comforted?
-Yes.
-For the kids protection. All they were doing was watching TV from five a.m. I felt like they were getting obsessed like you said. They should be playing furry, furry rabbit or tea party or something right?
-What's furry, furry rabbit?
-That's a game isn't it? Anyway... There's been some interesting developments.
-What time is it?
-They caught it on tape and they've been playing it all morning. They found the bird. His head crushed in. When you see the footage it looks like the bird flew into a wall in the sky. They think they have some invisible shield thing going, like an optical illusion.
-The bird could have had a heart attack and crushed his head when he fell.
-Where are you going?
-I'm sorry, what book is this?
-Chicken Teriyaki.
-Should we turn off the lights?
-They're on the roof.
-This is going to do nothing.
-Did I ever tell you, I dislocated Uncle Merrill's arm?
-Should we make a run for it out the back?
-He was only a year and half old.
-What are you doing?
-We won't be able to get out of there.
-Merrill --
-Merrill!
-They're distracting us?
-I can feel air.
-Me too.
-It's getting stronger.
-They're broadcasting...
-How many died?
-They think over a hundred thousand. They're just estimates. But we held strong.
-How do they know it's over?
-No.
-He's been like that for awhile. We need to get him some medicine.
-Have they said anything about our area?
-He's not strong enough to fight off another attack.
-That's good enough for me.
-Don't touch him.
-Graham.
-Can I use Bo's old baby monitor as a walkie-talkie?
-Yes.
-It needs batteries.
-These are D's; I need double A's.
-It's still making the noises. It's broken.
-We might lose the signal.
-I'm getting out now.
-Morgan?
-So the aliens can't read our minds.
-Oh.
-It says they're probably very small -- like my height -- because, as their brains developed, there was no use for physical development. It says they're probably vegetarians, because they would have realized the benefits of such a diet.
-Scientists who have been persecuted for their beliefs.
-Dr. Bimboo, one of the authors of the book --
-Bimboo?
-Dad.
-Tell me something Morgan. In that book of your, did they happen to detail what would happen if they were hostile?
-They said one of two things could happen. One, they fight and are defeated and leave to return again with full forces hundreds or even thousands of years later.
-What's two?
-What do you think about the idea that they don't like places near water, and we might be safe from them near a lake or something?
-We'll have to board up the bedroom doors.
-Where are we going to sleep?
-What about Isabelle?
-French toast... and mashed potatoes.
-Stop crying!
-They'll read our minds!
-I can't even imagine.
-Did someone save me?
-It's the strangest thing Father.
-Don't call me Father.
-What's that?
-Don't call me Father. It's just Graham now.
-You said something was strange. What's strange?
-The footprints.
-What about them?
-It's not broken.
-Second thing this week I can't explain.
-What was the first thing?
-Some animals around the county exhibiting uncharacteristic behavior. Sometimes violent behavior. Theo Henry had two of his fingers bit off by his cow.
-Sounds like a virus.
-You can't describe him at all? Don't you think that's find of odd?
-It does seem kind of odd doesn't it?
-I don't know whether to look for a midget or a --
-He definitely wasn't a midget.
-Okay. So he was tall?
-Let me ask you two something. Don't be embarrassed by the answer. It is possible... Just possible now, you might have been chasing each other around? You said you went in opposite directions.
-I don't think so.
-Do you owe anybody money? You can tell me off the record if you need too.
-Is anything missing?
-But I'll tell you something, what I said in their, still goes. You and your family have been through a lot in the last two days... Not to mention what happened to you all seven months ago.
-And three weeks.
-It's left its mark still. The last thing these children need to do, is worry about some crazy things happening in the world. Take them into town. Get their minds -- your mind, on everyday things. It's good medicine.
-It's good advice... Say hi to Marcia for me.
-There was an accident. Drunk driving. They weren't sure.
-Is he okay?
-She's not in an ambulance Father.
-Why not?
-See Father, Ray's truck swerved off the road and ah... Hit Colleen and then a tree. She was pinned between the two.
-The truck... the truck has severed most of her lower half.
-Is that him?
-Don't do it!
-They think these look like stages immediately proceeding an attack maneuver.
-It's like War of the Worlds.
-Some guy had a sign that said it was the end of the world. Nothing really bad is going to happen, is it Uncle Merrill?
-The book says they're probably very good problem solvers.
-What book!
-I wouldn't do that. You're going to need every gun when that posse gets here.
-Posse? What the hell you talking about?
-You brought a posse to my best hideout and you want to know if I mind. Mister, I don't know any of those names and you're about to die.
-I'd get down if I were you. They may be up there now.
-No money, eh?
-If we charge them, they won't have a chance. But we gotta get to the horses.
-Emmett! Am I glad to see you!
-Howdy, Jake. What's going on here?
-All I did was kiss a girl.
-That's why they got you in jail?
-So I did, I got out of there, I don't want no trouble. You know me. So I walked out on the street and the fella tried to shoot me in the back.
-...And you had to kill him?
-No, no, no! I winged him, and he dropped his gun.
-Well, no, not exactly. See then his friend opened up on me.
-What friend is that?
-Jake, I'm going to ask you once -- was it self-defense?
-I think we lost 'em.
-Forget the money. You've got to get these people out of here. This is no place to be sitting with women and kids.
-Well, Kate, it was self-defense sure enough, but I think you'd have to say I killed old Murdo. I think that's definitely the word.
-Emmett.
-I didn't know you were out.
-That's all over as far as I'm concerned, Emmett. I'm satisfied.
-Sounds good.
-Forget it.
-After the war my family worked a little piece of land near Savannah for a while. But the way it was down there then... well, they made it hard every way they could. Finally my daddy figured the promised land was out this direction. By that time I was so sick of farming, I didn't want to touch another hoe ever. I wouldn't come
-Where were you?
-Maybe we'll see you sometime.
-...Gotta go...
-Where are we?
-I'd be worse if you hadn't come along.
-I didn't just come along. I was looking for you. Jake said you were out there. I saw him in town, and he told me about that business the other night. Said you boys took a Henry off one of McKendrick's men. I wanted to see it.
-This was my father's. The men who killed him took it.
-I gotta get to my brother. If they came after me, they'll want him too.
-You'll never make it.
-I'll go. I'll bring Jake out here.
-Be careful. You're in it now. And it's gonna get mean.
-I almost didn't.
-Where's Jake?
-McKendrick's men got him.
-Kate?
-Gotta go.
-More than enough.
-Have you thought at all about your plans?
-The Parkers seem like nice folks.
-They've been kind to me.
-Paden sends his best.
-I'm surprised to see you out here tonight.
-I just came out to say goodbye.
-Goodbye?
-You came all the way out here to tell me you're going to California? All you had to do was go, and we'd never see each other again.
-You don't make it easy on a fellow.
-Maybe you thought you'd be back this way someday.
-Are you all right?
-This is a brutal land.
-You must have known that before you came.
-We told Sheriff Cobb about the attack. He said he'd... look into it. I can't believe he's the law out here. Now I see why you all wear guns.
-How's Mr. Parker doing?
-Weren't you going to come out to say good-bye?
-I already did that.
-This time you're really going? You know where I'll be.
-I've got my people sitting down there... ...swatting flies and raring to go.
-I'm afraid it is a bad start, friend, 'cause my name isn't Baxter, and he ain't Hawley.
-You're not Baxter?
-My name is Emmett.
-Hobart, what are you people doing here?
-This is where Baxter and Hawley brung us.
-Well, they're wrong. This territory is full of bad characters.
-I'm just meeting a guy here and moving on. So far I haven't been able to find him.
-In my town, when you're looking for someone, you ask me.
-I guess tomorrow at dawn he'll be proved right.
-Ten A.M.
-Maybe I ought to throw you in jail too. Then you could be with all your friends.
-I haven't done anything.
-I want you out of town before the hanging.
-Two of the horses ran off, but that pinto you're riding hung around.
-Offend anybody lately?
-Jefferson City?
-No, Leavenworth.
-I've never been in there. They just jumped you out of the blue?
-I had to get up anyway.
-Me, I'm riding along, minding my own business. Four cowboys come by and we decide to ride together for a while, friendly as can be. I always figure you might as well approach life like everybody's your friend or nobody is... don't make much difference. We get out in the middle of that frying pan and suddenly everybody's pointing their gun but me. I
-Looks like that's not all they admired.
-Looks like those boys are headed south, so they weren't the same ones that jumped me. Which way you going?
-Where's the pinto going?
-I gotta stop by Turley and meet a guy.
-Where's Turley?
-South of here, past Chimayo.
-Maybe I'll go along as far as Chimayo. Get me some clothes. Maybe a bath.
-I see what you like, she's mighty pretty.
-I gotta be going.
-Going to Turley, was it?
-What's Turley like?
-It's a town...
-They got a saloon there?
-I expect.
-Women?
-Doesn't look quite fair.
-Shame about the kid. Seems a lively sort.
-He is that.
-I hate to see any man swing. Bad luck.
-You'll have to deal me out on that. I've had some experience with that sort of thing, and I don't want any more.
-I understand.
-It's not going to be easy.
-Then I guess this is where we part ways. Sorry.
-No hard feelings.
-C'mon, I'll buy you a drink.
-You haven't got any money.
-You know, hanging around with you is no picnic.
-Where you been?
-I think I'll ride along with the lady here. Just take a look at this farmland before I come into Silverado. See what makes a trip this hard worth taking. I'll see you around.
-Hannah's a smart, pretty woman, but she's got a hard idea for living.
-Yeah?
-All I'm saying is, you won't trip over me if you look her up.
-Cobb, I want you to meet Emmett. He's a friend of mine. This is Sheriff Cobb.
-I'll see you around.
-You might make a farmer yet.
-Daddy?
-Where is Rae?
-She's gone, gone to town. She hated working on the farm... ...just like you.
-What happened?
-They run me off. They burned me out. They made it so I couldn't do. Just like Georgia. If you won't sell, they take it anyway.
-Who?
-The cattle! This valley runs down to a clear creek. That's why we picked this spot, and that's why they don't want us here.
-You own this land.
-I paid the government for it, all right. That don't mean much out here. Malachi, I'm living like a wildcat in a cave in those hills. Hiding out, afraid to walk my own land.
-What about the law?
-That's a lie.
-He acted bravely out there, Hannah. Just bad luck his getting hit. Could have been any one of us.
-I don't believe in luck. I know what Conrad was like. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear.
-Never will again.
-Mr. and Mrs. Parker have agreed to join their parcel to mine. We'll work them together. Mine starts right over there. It's all I've ever wanted. Pretty land, isn't it?
-A lot of men have told me that. Maybe it's true. I guess some women are slow to believe it.
-Believe it.
-They're drawn to me by that. But it never lasts.
-Why?
-Because they don't like what I want.
-What's that?
-J.T.'s done everything he can. I married a brave man. Augie, take that delightful gift your uncle gave you out of here while we're talking. McKendrick picked the new sheriff himself, so J.T. can't even get the law enforced.
-Augie's going to grow up here. There's nothing wrong with the land, it's just some of the people.
-The problem is, Emmett, you killed the wrong McKendrick.
-It was not -- it was Murdo's. Those McKendricks don't know how to act like human beings.
-His son is worse than he was. He's smoother, so you don't always hear him coming, but he'll do anything to keep his range free.
-You mean you ain't coming with Emmett and me?
-I can't say I'm convinced you're going anywhere.
-Sure we are. We're leaving at dawn.
-I've got no reason to run. It was a fair fight and there were plenty of witnesses.
-Yeah, that's what happened with me too.
-The other guy drew first.
-Didn't he tell you about Blind Pete?
-We didn't get that far.
-That's the longest I ever did it. 'Bout bust a gut.
-What now?
-Where's your brother?
-This a friend of yours?
-He is now.
-Who is he?
-Get out of here, Jake.
-All I did was kiss the girl.
-That's what you said in Turley. You remember how that ended.
-What's the matter, Paden? You afraid I couldn't get those two behind me?
-New record.
-Kelly, get over here. You didn't come all this way just to pay me back that money, did you? Kelly, meet my friend Paden.
-Howdy.
-You wanted to see me?
-What are you talking about?
-I'm done talking. Get out.
-You can't do this.
-There are three strangers in this room, traveller, and these gents you are accusing aren't them. Are these your friends?
-I wanted a drink and a bed. I guess I came to the wrong place.
-Came to the wrong town. I don't tolerate this kind of thing. It's hard on the peace, and it's hard on the furniture. Now, knowing a bit about Carter here, I'm going to let you go without paying for the damages. But go you will, and I mean now.
-Is there a place in town that takes... my kind?
-You misunderstand. I want you out of town. In fact, I want you all the way out of my jurisdiction.
-That ain't right.
-What's all this then?
-This nigger's breaking up my place, Sheriff Langston.
-I don't like that word much, Carter.
-We don't serve them here and you know it. I asked him to leave and he went crazy on us. He owes me money for this damage.
-Who's going to pay for all this, Sheriff?
-Now let's talk about you chaps.
-We'd rather stay.
-We'll see about that. I'm Sheriff John Langston. As you may have guessed, I am not from these parts.
-You're kidding.
-The jury saw it differently.
-So this is the guy you're going to hang?
-Tomorrow morning. Ten o'clock.
-Hello, Rae.
-What are you doing here? I thought you were done with our family.
-He was murdered.
-Who did it?
-I'm not sure, but I got an idea. And when I am sure, they're going to pay.
-What are you doing here, Rae? This ain't for you.
-It's none of your business.
-Rae, all we got is each other.
-Get out. We have nothing to talk about.
-Rae, I need help.
-Why come to me?
-Because you're my sister. There's nobody else. The men who killed Daddy are after Jake. I gotta talk to him.
-What's stopping you?
-They're watching the Hollis place. I can't get through.
-What makes you think I could?
-Why would they stop you?
-Why him?
-This is it, gents. My ma told me to head south past that rock.
-Why are they doing this, Mal?
-Because they enjoy it.
-I heard from Stella you were trying to find Jake. What happened to Emmett?
-I got there just short of too late.
-Yeah, it's working out real good.
-He must be pretty good.
-He's good, all right. Too good for my men. That's why you've got to take care of it.
-What about his brother?
-Things are getting messy around here. I hear Ezra Johnson got himself killed.
-I heard that too.
-Hello, Cobb.
-I see you're prospering without me.
-It's been a while.
-Appreciate the loan. I'm good for it.
-Let's talk about that. I'm looking for some men.
-I've given that up.
-So have I. I've got a legitimate job now. I can use a guy like you.
-You've got a legitimate job.
-Yes, sir. You wouldn't believe it.
-This is mighty sweet, Paden. I think I finally found my place in the world.
-You got a place to stay?
-I just got to town.
-What brings you into my saloon?
-Luck, I guess.
-Good old Paden. I was hoping you'd changed your mind about the job.
-Nothing like that will happen between us.
-I took out thirteen dollars.
-This is a lot of money.
-I told you this was a sweet set-up.
-It is that.
-Easy, boy. Just an idea.
-Well, thanks, but forget it.
-What is it you want from me?
-Nothing. Do nothing. Don't get between us.
-I'm a great believer in doing nothing.
-So we understand each other?
-I'm going to have to look into this.
-Yeah, maybe I will too.
-I thought we talked about that.
-You gotta calm down, Paden. Everything will be put straight in a few days.
-I never could count on you to be reasonable. Don't force me to make an adjustment around here.
-Cobb, you've got nothing I need.
-I'm not thinking about your future, Paden. I'm worried about Stella.
-What's she got to do with it?
-What a waste. This could have been such a sweet deal for us.
-Yeah. Bad luck. Good-bye, Cobb.
-You work here?
-Nifty.
-The world is what you make of it, friend. If it doesn't fit, you make alterations.
-I'll drink to that. Will you join me, Miss --
-Stella.
-Stella... Are you the midnight star herself?
-My compliments to you, Miss Stella. This is what I call a saloon.
-Thanks. That's what I call it too.
-And I know what I'm talking about.
-You like a good saloon?
-It's the only place I'm happy.
-You wouldn't be needing any help around here, would you? Maybe with the gambling?
-That's Kelly, my so-called partner. He runs that side.
-So-called?
-Yeah, aside from being a loud-mouthed, lying cheat, he's just the man I would have picked.
-Why'd you go into business with him?
-I don't own this place. The man who does stuck me with Kelly.
-Who's the owner?
-Is this a fair mix?
-I'm saving lives here. The straight stuff would raise a blood blister on boot leather.
-What's this?
-That's the good stuff.
-You really are a gambler.
-Where's the dog now?
-What is it that I can't figure?
-What do you mean?
-What makes you say that?
-If he didn't you'd never sit still while this was happening.
-You sure? Maybe that's the kind of friend I am.
-Nah! What's he got? This is a nice saloon, but there are other nice saloons. It's not the money. Not for you. Why can't I get ahold of it? Cobb says there's no telling what you're going to care about.
-Some people think because they're stronger -- or meaner -- they can push you around. I've seen a lot of that. But it's only true if you let it be. The world is what you make of it.
-I like your attitude. But it can be risky.
-How about you?
-I don't want you to get hurt.
-I've got a place I can hide her.
-Stella, this is one of my oldest surviving friends. Treat him right.
-That was my plan.
-It's an advance. We want him to know he's going to be happy here.
-I wouldn't worry about that.
-From what I've seen, Paden doesn't care much about money.
--- Forgive me, Mr. Taransky. I'm just trying to understand. All these films, TV appearances, magazine covers, internet interviews, publicity photos, snapshots from her childhood -- all fake. This is fake, this is fake -- fake, fake, fake, all fake.
-That's right. You understand perfectly. I will confess to fraud, not murder.
-A fan club with a worldwide membership in the millions -- also bogus?
-Oh, no. The fan club is real. But they were worshipping computer code -- ones and zeros.
-So, of course, you couldn't kill Simone because there never was a Simone.
-Of course.
-But not everyone's imaginary, are they, Mr. Taransky? I refer, of course, to Edith.
-Can you tell us why you were disposing of the body of a woman who didn't exist?
-It wasn't her body. It was her body of work.
-Why don't you just come clean, Viktor? Tell the truth. You'll feel better afterwards.
-I am telling the truth.
-We all know what happened. In a fit of jealous rage you killed Simone and dumped her body off a boat she bought for you.
-I'd love to stop somewhere but I'm late. I'm on my way to see Viktor now.
-No, I understand. That's what I want to talk about. I don't know if you know this, Simone, but Viktor and I were married once.
-I can't imagine how you ever let a man like that go. I owe Viktor everything.
-I think he owes more to you. But that's not important now. I know what's going on between you two.
-I want to reassure you, Elaine, there's absolutely nothing going on between Viktor and I.
-You don't have to protect my feelings, Simone. I don't blame Viktor for falling in love with the most desirable woman in the world.
-My God, are you alright, Simone?
-Damn -- Yes -- I -- -- I'm just a little tired. Listen, Elaine, Viktor and I -- it's strictly a working relationship. We could never be anything else. We're just so... different.
-Exactly. You're a household name now. You're moving in entirely different worlds. That's why I hope you're not toying with Viktor.
-It sounds like you still have feelings for him.
-We have a daughter together. I just don't want to see Viktor get hurt.
-I don't know how many times I have to say this, Elaine, but Viktor and I are not in love. I only make love to the camera.
-Christ -- Elaine, I know how it looks but... ... it would mean a lot to Viktor if you'd go with him to the Oscars. If you won't do it for him, please do it for me.
-Okay -- for you.
-Thanks. This is my exit so, I --
-I'm glad we talked.
-Of course she is. No other name is going to sign on now and risk offending her.
-No! You will not give in to that blackmailing bitch!
-God, Viktor. Why do you always have to make things so difficult for yourself?
--- Do you know what these are, Elaine?
-Hmm... Mike and Ike's.
-Not just any Mike & Ike's -- cherry Mike & Ike's. Do you know why I, Viktor Taransky, two-time Academy Award nominated director --
--- Viktor, that was Short Subject.
--- I have a feeling you're going to tell me.
--- I'll tell you why. It is because Miss Nicola Anders, supermodel with a SAG card God's gift to cinema, has it written into her contract that all cherry Mike & Ike's be removed from her candy dish along with strict instructions that any room she walks into should have seven packs of cigarettes waiting for her three of them opened, that there be
--- What's wrong with that?
-Elaine, she doesn't have any children! Don't you see? We're being held hostage by 12 men and 5 women who someone somewhere has decreed are the A-list.
-The public decides who's on that list.
-Please.
-It's the truth. Those 17 superstars are our insurance policy. We can't open -- can't make a profit without them.
-We can hardly make a profit with them. Up-front salary, back-end deal, perks, per diem, percentages -- They're mocking us, Elaine. We're at their mercy. We always had movie stars but they used to be our stars. We used to decide who would play what role. We told them what to wear, what to say, who to date. When they were under contract, we
-You realize you're nostalgic for an era you weren't even born in?
-Well, I do remember why I started out in this business -- you seem to have forgotten -- working in New York with Cassevetes -- we were trying to do something important, shine a light in that darkened cinema --
--- It's called a projector.
--- Illuminate hearts and minds with a ray of truth.
-Listen, Viktor, I have good memories of those days too -- but this isn't about that or you or me or some high-minded ideal. This is business.
-Spare me.
-You're not renewing my contract.
-I'm not taking away your daughter, just your deal. You and I both know, after the divorce I kept you on for old time's sake, so you could still hold your head up in front of Lainey. I called what's his name at Warner's. He said he'd take a meeting -- in July. I've fought for you Viktor... You want to talk severance?
-You can have everything -- office, car, assistants -- all I want is the picture.
-The picture's dead.
-So there's no problem -- I can have the rights, the negative too?
-They're yours. But how are you going to finish it? Without a star there's no movie.
-I don't need a star. All I need is an actor -- I'll reshoot the part, cut out Nicola and replace her with a real actor. A real leading lady.
-Where is she?
-Good to see you too, Elaine.
-Why isn't she with you?
-Viktor... I want to thank you for convincing Simone to sign with the studio.
-Don't thank me. It was entirely Simone's decision. Do you have Simone's check?
-I don't have it on me. Anyway, it means a lot. Have you read the reviews? They're love letters. Listen to this one. "Simone has the voice of a young Jane Fonda, the body of Sophia Loren, the grace of, well, Grace Kelley, and the face of Audrey Hepburn combined with an angel".
-Almost right.
-I can't wait to meet her.
-I don't know if that's going to happen.
-Why not?
-As I say, she's... something of a recluse. That's how she's able to stay so pure -- by isolating herself in her art.
-Don't be ridiculous. I arranged a press conference.
-Out of the question. A circus like that?
-Viktor, it's my studio.
-Sorry I didn't get her back in time.
-No problem. Do you want to come in?
-Viktor, we simply have to talk about "Eternity..."
-"Forever".
-Whatever. I still haven't received Simone's script notes.
-There aren't any. If the filmmakers are happy, Simone's happy. She considers herself an... "instrument".
-Really? Oh, so she's really going to do all this nudity?
-Well, something has to be done about this budget. It's completely unrealistic. You allowed nothing for limousine service.
-She'll drive herself.
-Hair and make-up?
-She'll do her own. Theater training.
-She was in the theater? When? Where?
-I'll send you her resume.
-Al least a contingency for wardrobe. Any woman can go up a dress size.
--- I guarantee she won't gain an once. She's very disciplined.
-Well, we have to do something about this -- "stuntwoman".
-What about it?
-There isn't one.
-No need. She does all her own stunts.
-Even the fall from the plane?
-Even the fall from the plane.
-As I've tried to explain to you, Elaine. Simone isn't like any other actress you've ever known. She's about the work and only the work -- lives for the work. She wants all the money up there... ... on the screen where it belongs. She'd work for scale except I know you only respect people you pay a fortune.
-Which accounts for your percentage. When do I get to meet this dream?
-Not today. She's learning her lines. You can also take cue cards and teleprompter out of the budget.
-Listen, Viktor... I want to talk to you now, not as Elaine, studio head, but Elaine, ex-wife. Second ex-wife. You got lucky this last time but you need to be careful. We both know you wouldn't be making this overblown art film of you hadn't convinced Simone to be in it.
-Elaine, talking to you now, not as Viktor, director, but Viktor, ex husband... what the hell happened to you?
-Experience, Viktor. I've seen this a hundred times -- young stars destroying the very people who discovered them. I'm worried about you, that's all. This woman -- she controls your destiny.
-Simone does not control my destiny.
-Stunning, Viktor. The Hollywood Foreign Press is going to eat this up.
-I got them to remove the reflection. The mirror's metaphor -- to show how her character's inwardly dead.
-That's genius, Viktor. Was that Simone's idea?
-Maybe you're right. Twelve years after your daughter's born you decide to become a father.
-Better late than never.
-I should fire you more often. The film's looking wonderful.
-You really think so?
-Yes. To be honest I never quite saw this film before -- maybe it's the way Simone is playing it -- but what it's saying about the illusion of permanence in everyday life, how that's the only way we can love -- I think it's really going to mean something.
-Thank you. I'll tell Simone you liked it.
-I'd love to tell her myself. When are you going to let me meet her?
-Soon. Soon.
-Everyone I know has met her, Viktor.
-Everyone you know is lying.
--- You can't go in there!
--- It's starting to look like she doesn't support the film or you, Viktor. If you can't handle her, I will.
-So, the secret's finally out, Viktor.
--- I can explain.
-The premiere was the first time I've convinced her to venture out and it just confirmed her worst nightmares.
-Viktor, you should have said something.
-She doesn't want pity.
-I'll tell you what. I know how much this means to you. I'll try to get her to plug the film. I'm not promising anything but maybe she'll do a talk show -- taped.
-Oh, make it live -- please, Viktor.
-She was there. She didn't by any chance happen to mention me?
-She said you were very beautiful.
-Really?
-Elaine, what are you doing tonight? Would you like to go somewhere -- dinner?
-I'd love to. But aren't you supposed to meet up with Simone?
--- Viktor, are you with her? Is she there?
-Are you and Simone... ... getting married?
-No, of course not! Why? Would you care if we were?
-Well, yes. From a studio point of view, it would be better if Simone stayed single. Anyhow, I thought she came across great tonight. Intelligent, well informed, a natural. And touching. She was spectacular.
-Viktor, do you realize you always do that?
-Do what?
-Whenever I compliment Simone, you take the credit.
-I do?
-Yes, you do... Anyway, tonight was a good start.
-Excuse me? Start?
-My two favorite girls.
-... Simone.
-She's lying down. She's exhausted.
-Elaine, it's Wednesday.
-Is it Wednesday? It's Wednesday. How embarrassing. I don't know what I was thinking. With all the excitement lately... Am I interrupting something? Are you expecting company?
-As a matter-of-fact I am.
-When is she coming over?
-About now. Would you like a drink?
-Is Simone back to earth yet?
-Not quite.
-I'm sure you'll keep her focussed. She's lucky to have you, Viktor. Is she really having your baby?
-Impossible.
-I just read somewhere --
-I know. I know. They'll say anything.
--- She already is. Simone's not coming over, Elaine. Not tonight, not ever. I want you back, Elaine.
-This is crazy. Who am I fooling? I can't compete with Simone. What woman can?
-I would rather have you than Simone. Believe me.
-That's sweet, Viktor, but I couldn't let you do that -- make that kind of sacrifice. It's strange. I've stabbed people in the back, clawed and slept my way to where I am -- it goes with the territory -- but, for some reason, I can't betray Simone. There's... I don't know any other way to say it -- there's a goodness to her.
-No, there isn't. There's nothing to her.
-Oh, Viktor. You say that now -- because we're here, alone, like this. But in the morning, you'd go back to her. What man wouldn't?
-No, I will end my relationship with her -- totally.
-But you don't understand. She'll always be there -- at some party, on some magazine cover, some song on the radio, up on some screen.
-No. She'll never work again -- retire, never make a movie or a record, or appear ever again.
-Of course she will. Her public will demand it.
-Not if I don't let her.
-I'm going to tell you a secret now, Elaine. Simone is not a real person. I invented her.
-Every actor is an invention, Viktor. Don't embarrass yourself. No one's denying that you discovered Simone. But it's like finding a diamond in the desert. Anyone can trip over it, but it's not the finder who sparkles.
--- No, no, I didn't trip over her. You don't understand --
--- You just got lucky that she's loyal enough to stay with you. Maybe she's staying out of pity, who knows? She certainly doesn't need you. Some people even say you're holding her back.
-Who says that -- ? -- Never mind. You have to listen to me, Elaine. Simone is thin air, pixels, molded by me from a mathematical equation. I inherited it from a madman -- I can show you --
-How much wine have you had?
--- She's a figment of my own imagination. I, Viktor Taransky, have perpetrated the greatest hoax, the greatest sleight-of-hand, sleight-of-mouth, sleight-of- sleight in entertainment history! And still no one appreciates me, recognizes what I've done -- even you.
-You're drunker than I thought. Are you doing that again?
-Can I see you later -- go away for the weekend?
-Thank you! I don't know how you did it but thank you.
-Don't thank us too fast, Viktor. You know what we have to do?
-Why stop at one character when you can have a whole cast?
-I was thinking -- what about you and... "Simone" moving back in with me and Lainey?
-Don't look so glum, Viktor. It's not a death sentence.
-Hello?
-Hello, is this Elaine?
-Yes -- oh my, God. Is that you, Simone?! I've been wanting to talk to you.
-Well, here I am. You look pretty today. Red suits you.
-Where are you?
-Mom, do you miss Dad?
-Thank Simone for the tickets.
-Let's go, Lainey. There's nothing here.
-God, it's so like your father. Why can't people take responsibility for their actions anymore? I can almost forgive him for killing Simone -- but denying her existence. I can never forgive that.
-Because obviously she existed, right?
-I know it as surely as you're sitting here, sweetheart. She was the most vital woman I ever met.
-So you did meet her?
-Of course. What are you suggesting?
-I know it's embarrassing to admit it, mom, but when I think about it -- honestly, I haven't. I mean, it feels like I have. I know more about her than members of my own family. She's even in my dreams. But I realized, going back through my diary, they were all TV appearances, near misses at parties, second-hand rumor, gossip on the internet.
-Well, I --
--- We don't believe daddy because we don't want to believe we were taken in too.
-Lainey, there's no evidence that Simone isn't real.
-You had no choice, Elaine. He's a liability.
-I can't believe she's doing this -- taking advantage of him this way. It's cruel.
-Why?
-Obviously, this can't last. She's going to dump him. Viktor won't be able to take that. He's too sensitive. It'll destroy him.
-Elaine, do you realize you can't stop talking about Viktor?
-Thank God for you, Faith. I know this is above and beyond the call of duty for a stand-in. You don't know what a service you're performing for Simone -- shielding her from those animals.
-You understand you'll have to come back to my place to keep them off the, er... ... scent.
-Of course.
-You look so, so...
-... so much like her?
-Yes, of course, but very beautiful in your own right.
-What?... What did you say?
-Do what you do to Simone.
-What I do to Simone?
-Yes, call me Simone.
-Simone?
-Yes, yes, again, again. Do what you do to Simone. I want to know what it's like to be her just for one night.
-You're with me to be close to her?
-"Why are we here? Is that what you're asking, Jack?... Why are we here? No why. Just here".
-Well, no one could accuse you of being over-exposed, Simone. Why have you stayed so completely out of the limelight?
-I just think actors talk too much. Does the world really want to hear your life story just because you've got a movie opening Friday?
-Don't I know it. That's the only reason I'm here now -- to put the attention back where it belongs, on Mr. Taransky's film.
-You don't secretly want the attention?
-Because, you have to understand, Frank, these interviews -- none of this is real. Who I am on screen and who I really am are two totally different people.
-Who are you really?
-No, I'm okay.
-Let's talk about the work that you care so much about.
-Sure. Where would you like to start?
-How about the nudity?
-Nudity has just never been an issue for me, Frank. For me, clothes are just an option.
-What exactly was it that attracted you to your first two projects?
--- Simone, the question on everyone's mind is simply... "why?"
-With everything that was going on in my life, I just needed to drop out of sight for a while -- I needed time. Viktor bought me that time. I owe him so much.
-We all do. But now I understand you're eager to get back to work -- and not the kind of work that we're all expecting.
-That's true. I can reveal that I am considering a career in politics.
-Nicola Anders is the only actress who can play that role.
-Viktor, I'm so happy for us!
-Hello, Hal.
-The film. The chemistry. No reflections on Nicola but Simone and I -- we were just so right together.
-You never were together, Hal.
-And still the connection was undeniable. I haven't read "Eternity Forever" but I know it's brilliant. And I know I would be perfect for Clive.
-Clyde.
-Yes, perfect. As a matter of fact, I ran into Simone on the lot the other day.
-Really? She didn't mention it.
-You'll never guess who I'm with... you ran into him on the lot.
-It was more in passing.
-How will you do our love scenes?
-Body double.
-For her?
-Hal, what are you doing?
-Viktor, Clyde simply has to get close to Simone in this scene! He has to touch her. He has to!
-Absolutely not!
-But she's right there! I must feel her!
-You can't.
-Why not?
-There's... a wall between you --
--- an emotional wall, I know. That's why --
--- No. No. A real wall. You ran right through it.
-How did the wall get there?
-Is she here?
-I'm fine, Hal. How are you?
-You know I sometimes forget she has bodily functions.
-I know what you mean.
-No. In fact, between us, she doesn't really exist.
--- Mr. Taransky, Mr. Taransky... thank God. I've been trying to see you, calling -- Your assistant wouldn't put me through. I told her it was a matter of life and death. I was afraid I wouldn't get to you in time --
--- Please, get away from me.
-I did it, Mr. Taransky. I licked skin. I licked hair. I licked every part of her.
-You want me to call Security?
-I have her, Mr. Taransky. The answer to your prayers. The answer to this.
-I was misquoted.
-It's me, Mr. Taransky. Don't you recognize me? -- The Future of Film conference in San Jose. Hank... Hank Aleno. I was keynote speaker. You must remember my speech... "Who Needs Humans?"
-That's right. You were booed off the stage. That's got to be -- ?
--- Eight years ago. In that whole time, I never left my computer.
-Good for you, Hank.
-Good and bad. They think that's what caused this. Me eye tumor. Microwaves from the screen. It's the size of a grapefruit. Heavy too.
-I'm sorry.
-You have to see her.
-I've seen them all before.
-Not like this --
-Come on, Hank. A synthespian, virtual actor -- ?
--- We call them "vactors".
-I need flesh and --
--- Flesh is weak.
-You already do. But my actor won't get old, fat, lazy or drunk -- won't throw tantrums, demand a body double, script changes or a bigger trailer. The Disney Corporation has been using artificial actors for years.
-That's the point, Hank. No matter how good they are, they're still Mickey Mouse. Everyone's tried. Everyone's failed. It can't be done.
-It can -- with my new computer code, you and me, we can do it together.
-I don't know anything about computers.
-That's why you're so perfect. You have something I don't have.
-What's that?
-An eye -- for performance. You know the truth when you see it. I know. I've seen your movies. I love your movies.
-You do?
-"Straw God" changed my life.
-You saw that?
-I've seen every frame of your work. You're the only filmmaker in Hollywood with the artistic integrity to realize my vision. You and me, art and science... we are the perfect marriage.
-Listen, Hank, it's been a rough day. I'll call you about his next week.
-I won't be here next week. The tumor's inoperable. I'll be dead.
-Harry! Harry! Can we have a minute? What brings you here tonight?
-I just came out to support my good friend, Simone.
-There's a rumor that you're more than just "good friends"?
-We've been seeing each other, sure, but we'd rather keep our relationship private.
-Do I hear the sound of... wedding bells?
-Hi, Dad.
-I'm sorry Mom canned you.
-It's really... not anything, Lainey. It's just --
-Don't feel too bad. Mom runs the place and they still walk all over her. You're better off out of it.
-I'm going to finish the picture, sweetheart. It's important.
-Hi, Dad.
-Your mother couldn't make it?
-She's at the premiere of "A Cold Day In Hell". But I think she send someone from Acquisitions.
-She still with Kent?
-Not quite how I imagined it --
--- You finished the film on your own terms, that's what matters. Did you really do all the post yourself?
-There was no other way.
-I missed you. I wondered if you were ever coming back.
-Me too.
-Well, I can't wait to meet Simone... what's her last name?
-You know, I... don't know.
-Is she here tonight?
-She's a miracle, Dad. Where did you find her?
-I saw her picture on the, er... internet. You really didn't notice anything -- unusual?
-Can't you stop that?
-Why?
-Those things can be dangerous. Staring at a screen all day -- you miss what's going on outside in the real world. You can lose yourself. You should get out more. How are you going to meet boys?
-I know plenty of boys.
-Really? Who? Where do you meet them? In a chat room? How do you know he's not some middle-aged freak?
-Dad, I can spot a middle-aged freak a mile away.
-Okay. But you have to find a way to escape that thing.
-I do.
-How?
-I read.
-You do? Still? I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that.
-You were the one who insisted on it. Reading me Dostoyevsky and Joyce when I was four.
-Okay, Dad.
-If anyone asks about Simone --
--- I know, I don't know anything.
-Exactly. Don't you wonder where I'm really hiding Simone?
-One thing bothered me.
-I know, Hal is as stiff as always.
-So that accounts for the lack of a shadow in reel six?
-Good-night, Daddy.
-Hey, Lainey. How's your love life?
-I do okay. How about you?
-You know me -- married to my work.
-Dad, you know I don't like to get between you and mom but she's feeling down right now. She broke up with Kent.
-Really? Too bad.
-She thinks you're with Simone.
-Lainey, you know Simone and I don't have a real relationship.
-I know but Mom doesn't. Maybe if it came from Simone, if Simone spoke to Mom -- she could straighten things out. Dinner, maybe.
-Dinner? Dinner's difficult. A phone call?
-Too impersonal. They have to meet face-to-face.
-I'll see what I can do. You know, Lainey. I don't believe you've ever once asked to meet Simone. Don't you like her?
-I love you, Lainey.
-Why didn't she thank you?
-Happy birthday, Lainey. Do you like it?
-It's fantastic -- it's too much.
-It's the car she drove in "Eternity Forever".
-I know. Thank her for me.
--- I can't accept it. I don't want a car, Dad.
-Why not? I can get you something else. What do you want?
-The old Viktor Taransky. I liked you better before -- before all this. You were a loser, Dad, but at least you had integrity. I can't stand to see you like this -- clinging to Simone's coattails -- it used to be about the work, and now it's all about her. And then she's not even grateful enough to thank you.
-No, that was me.
-There you go again, blaming yourself. Can't you see what she's done to you -- she's taking advantage, mocking you. You deserve better than Simone. I've got to go, Dad.
-About you and mom?
-Me and Simone. What I did.
--- Plead guilty and throw yourself on the mercy of the court. It's the best deal you're going to get.
-I could get the death penalty.
-You certainly will if you go to trial -- a jury in this kind of ugly mood. You've killed an icon, for God's sake.
-I didn't kill anyone, Bernard, there was no one to kill!
--- No! I can't go along with this horseshit! Just tell them they can fry me!
-What?!
-Do I know you?
-Max Sayer -- National Echo.
-Don't you have a real story to write? Why aren't you in Latin America?
-This is the story.
-I remember when the Echo had class -- the paper that could bring down governments.
-Our leaders aren't presidents anymore -- they're pop stars and screen idols. If Woodward and Bernstein were alive today, they'd be right here in Hollywood with me.
-So they're probably here. You might be able to sell this 'disappearing act' to the rest of the world, but I'm not buying it. What's really behind this Simone woman? The public has a right to know. Why is she staying out of sight? And why the hell is she with you? I don't want you to take this the wrong way, Viktor, but
-She sounds like a prisoner, Taransky. Are you holding her hostage? Are you some kind of Svengali?
-Who's the hostage, Sayer, her or you? You look kind of "captive" yourself. While you're spending every waking hour obsessing over Simone, guess what, I guarantee she doesn't even know you exist. Get off my property or I'll call the cops.
-The cops? The cops read my column to know who to bust. We're the only watchdog the public has. None of this is going away. We'll be here tomorrow and the day after that. Until you slip up. And you will. You are looking at your shadow. Because all these elaborate precautions with Simone -- every instinct in my body tells me, it's not
-I'm just trying to help you, Sayer. I don't want you to be disappointed. It gets cold out here at night.
-Nice try. If we can't get to her through you, maybe your family will be more co-operative. I can guarantee you, Taransky, one way or another, Miss Simone and I are going to get acquainted.
-Nice boat, Taransky.
-It's a yacht.
-I know what you're up to.
-I don't have time for this, Sayer.
-It's bogus. You used an old library shot for the background.
-The background is.
-I've done my homework. I've studied her.
--- I bet you have.
--- I've looked at every piece of publicity she's ever done, the video in the supermarket, there's no evidence she's ever left the studio. Oh, and for some reason this woman leaves no paper trail. But I have "obtained" a copy of your bank accounts. I know you have power of attorney but so far you haven't transferred one single solitary cent to her.
-I'm keeping it in trust.
-I know that's what you'd like us to believe. But I got to tell you -- embezzlement is a serious matter. Not to mention abduction.
-Abduction?
-What is it exactly you want, Sayer?
-Alright, Sayer, you've got a deal.
-What now, Sayer?
-I traced her to a nursing home. A young woman fitting Simone's description dropped her off five years ago.
-She looks a lot like you.
-That doesn't prove a thing -- wait until I get a court order for a blood test.
-That won't be necessary. Sooner or later I knew you'd crack this thing, Max. You got me.
-I do? Sure I do. Can we speak off the record? I'm a fair man. I'm willing to sit down with her and tell her side of the story.
-I wouldn't want you to compromise your ethics.
-You love her, don't you, Max?
-Don't you?
-Is it a jamming device?
-Maybe he's talking to himself.
-Taransky isn't that good an actor. No, they're taking special precautions. Some kind of new encryption.
-Why?
-Whatever it is, it's dark.
-Dark?
-We've got our best people on it, Mr. Sayer.
-24-hour tail on Taransky?
-Shutter bugs camped outside any place he goes, every concierge and maitre d' on the take. But this Simone woman is good.
-Well, we got some of Taransky's fingerprints, a lot of your fingerprints... but none of hers.
-Of course -- no one's that perfect, that pure. You know I had something on Mother Teresa. But then she died and it wasn't worth it anymore. I know how to flush out this Simone -- a tell-all story from her childhood.
-My God, you've got one?
-Am I wasting my time with you? When she sues to protect her privacy, she'll have to appear in a public courtroom to do it.
-Long live the First Amendment.
-Mr. Sayer...
-What do you want -- ?
-Mr. Sayer, did we pay the million bucks yet?
--- Cashier's check went out to our anonymous tipster this morning -- worth every penny too. Who says there's no place for checkbook journalism? We'll be running stills of this for months, then release the whole tape -- we'll get our money back -- maybe show it on an exclusive pay-per-view event. Do you realize what we have here? We have the only independent
--- I've been here before! -- On my honeymoon with my ex-wife.
-It's a hotel.
-I don't understand.
--- Nicola! How was your massage?
-You're in breach.
--- Is this about the new pages? -- I made the changes you wanted, you're in virtually every scene --
-It's not the size of the role, Viktor. Am I or am I not contractually entitled to the biggest trailer on the set?
-It's the biggest on earth! I swear! It's a 50-foot Airstream -- they don't make them any longer than that.
-Taller, Viktor.
-I beg you. You can't do this to me.
-I had three other offers. I only signed on to this picture out of... loyalty.
-Then show some. They'll shut me down!
-A lot's happened since we last saw each other.
-Yes.
-Thank you. It's not important.
-Would you like me to read?
-You know you're really very good. I take back what I said. I mean, you're really good.
-Thank you.
-You could play the lead.
-But that's Simone's part.
-Yes, of course it is. You know you have a line here. Not a wrinkle. Actually, more of a dimple. I've been thinking of incorporating something like that in Simone.
-You'd cosmetically alter Simone to look like me?
-No one came in or went out just like you said, Mr. Taransky.
-Good.
-Is Miss Simone coming today?
-She's already here. She arrived before you and she'll leave long after you've gone. Remember, under no circumstances are you or any other person to enter the set without my express permission.
-What if it catches on fire?
-Hi.
-I'll do anything to please you, Mr. Taransky.
-I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. What did you say?
-Simone, are you there?
-Let's take it down a notch.
-Good morning, Simone.
-Good morning, Mr. Taransky.
-A star is...
-You mean they buy it?
-Maybe he can.
-Do you have any idea what this means, Simone? Our ability to manufacture fraud now exceeds our ability to detect it.
-I am the death of real.
-You are birth of... what? A Phenomenon. A miracle. A new era in show business. All I wanted to do was finish the film.
-Is that better, Mr. Taransky?
-You did create me.
-No. I... just helped bring someone else's dream to life.
-Mr. Taransky, we both know I was nothing without you. I was computer code -- ones and zeros.
-See beyond that irrational allegiance to flesh and blood. -- See that with the rise in price of a real actor and the fall in price of a fake, the scales have tipped in favor of the fake. -- See that if the performance is genuine, it doesn't matter if the actor is real. Once a performance is committed to film, the blood and
-Are you ever going to tell the truth about me, Mr. Taransky?
-The only real truth is in the work.
-You know what I'm talking about.
-Speaking of which -- this is the project I'd like you to do next.
-Not, "Eternity Forever"? The legendary unproduced script that was too good ever to get made? I'd kill for that part.
-You're going to get in a lot of trouble, Mr. Taransky.
-Mahogany. I'd say that cost at least a couple hundred. Maybe three.
-Three? We should hock it. Buy a C.D. rack for the bedroom.
-Do you know how important this is? This is big time. I'm going to read it for you, doctor.
-Wow. They called you their son.
---My God.
-Are you calling me?
-Why, Malcolm?
-Why did you leave me?
-I just needed to do a couple of things. And I needed to tell you something.
-Goodnight, Malcolm.
-On my way to the flea market in Amish country. Thought maybe you want to come. Show me how to buy at these things.
-That's very sweet. I'm okay.
-You know that's probably not the best idea. I'll just wait to see them in the store.
-Okay. Fine. Understood. I'm off then.
-Don't step in the horse manure.
-Your eye frames. They don't seem to have any lenses in them.
-They're my dad's. The lenses hurt my eyes.
-What was that you were saying before with your soldiers? Day pro fun.
-All your soldiers speak Latin?
-What were they hiding from?
-Oh, lots of things, I suppose. Bad people for one. People who wanted to imprison them. Hurt them.
-I forgot your name.
-Dr. Crowe.
-You're a doctor. What kind?
-I got an award once. From the Mayor.
-Congratulations.
-Thank you. It was a long time ago. I've kind of been retired for a while. You're my very first client back.
-You use needles?
-No.
-Not even little ones that aren't supposed to hurt?
-No.
-I'm going to see you again, right?
-And Cole, next time I won't be late for you.
-We were supposed to draw a picture. Anything we wanted... I drew a man. He got hurt in the neck by another man with a screwdriver.
-Everybody got upset. They had a meeting. Momma started crying. I don't draw like that anymore.
-How do you draw now?
-I draw people with smiles, dogs running, and rainbows. They don't have meetings about rainbows.
-You want to ask me a question?
-Private Kinney's wife is really sick -- she has something called a brain anism.
-You mean aneurysm.
-Where should I look then, Cole?
-I walk this way to school with Tommy Tammisimo.
-He hates me.
-You ever tell her about how it is with Tommy?
-I don't tell her a thing.
-Why?
-Cause she doesn't look at me like everybody and I don't want her to. I don't want her to know.
-Know what?
-You said the "s" word.
-Mr. Marschal gets real lonely.
-What about Mrs. Marschal?
-...So your dad lives in Pittsburgh with a lady who works in a toll booth.
-What if she has to pee when she's working? You think she just holds it?
-What'd you write?
-Words.
-What kind of words?
-Think about what you want from our time together. What our goal should be?
-Something I want?
-That isn't magic.
-What?
-You just kept the penny in that hand the whole time...
-I didn't know you were funny.
-Your father ever tell you bedtime stories?
-Once upon a time there was a prince, who was being driven around... He drove around for a long, long time... Driving and driving... It was a long trip... He fell asleep... When he woke up, they were still driving... The long drive went on--
-Dr. Crowe.
-Yes.
-You haven't told bedtime stories before?
-No.
-You have to add some twists and stuff. Maybe they run out of gas.
-What makes you think that?
-I don't know how the story ends. I hope it's a happy ending.
-Dead people, like in graves and coffins?
-No, walking around, like regular people... They can't see each other. Some of them don't know they're dead.
-How often do you see them?
-...No.
-Did you think the play sucked big time?
-What?
-Tommy Tammisimo acted in a cough syrup commercial. He thought everybody was self-conscious and unrealistic. He said the play sucked big time.
-I know every child is special in their own way, but Tommy sounds like a punk. I thought the play was excellent. Better than Cats.
-Cats?
-Yes?
-When they get mad, it gets cold.
-Can I ask you then?
-Yes.
-What do you want more than anything?
-I don't know.
-I told you what I want.
-I don't know, Cole.
-I have to.
-When?
-I'm going to transfer you. I know two psychologists that are exceptional--
---What?
-Don't cry.
-It means I wasn't what everyone thought I was... I was a fake.
-You weren't a paper champion.
-Dr. Crowe?
-Yes.
-Something happened, didn't it?
-Yes, it did.
-Are you wigging out?
-Yes, I am.
-We're not gonna start crying again, are we?
-No, we're not.
-You really look better.
-Maybe they wake up that morning thinking they have a thousand things to do and a thousand days left to do them in... And then all of a sudden, it's all taken away. No one asked them. It's just gone...
-You have nice red in your cheeks now.
-It's Spanish. It means... 'I don't want to die.' Not all the ghosts are scary, are they? Like Mrs. Marschal?
-No.
-Just help.
-Yes! I think that's right!... I think they all want that. Even the scary ones...
-I believe both of you now. And I think I might know how to make them go away.
-What if they don't want help? What if they're just angry and they want to hurt somebody?
-She came a long way to visit me, didn't she?
-I wish I were somewhere else.
-Don't go home, okay?
-I think we said everything we needed to say. Maybe it's time to say things to someone else? Someone close to you?
-You were great in the play, Cole.
-Really?
-And you know what else?
-What?
-They're right here.
-What are you thinking, Momma?
-Lots of things.
-It was Grandma's. It's not for playing. What if it broke? You know how sad I'd be.
-You'd cry. Cause you miss grandma so much.
-That's right. So why do you take it, sweetheart?
-Sometimes people think they lose things and they didn't really lose them. It just gets moved.
-You didn't take it before. You didn't take it the time after that. And now, you didn't take it again?
-Don't get mad.
-There's only two of us. Maybe someone came in our house -- took the bumble bee pendant out of my closet, and then laid it nicely in your drawer? Is that what happened?
-I'd give anything to have been there.
-Communicate?
-You know that accident up there?
-Yeah.
-Someone got hurt.
-They did?
-A lady. She died.
-You can see her?
-Where is she?
-Cole, you're scaring me.
-They scare me too sometimes.
-They?
-Dead people.
-Dead people?
-You see ghosts, Cole?
-They want me to do things for them.
-What are you thinking, Momma?
-...I don't know.
-I would never think that about you... ever... Got it?
-She says she's sorry for taking the bumble bee pendant. She just likes it a lot.
-What?
-Cole, that's very wrong. Grandma's gone. You know that.
-She wanted me to tell you--
-Cole, please stop.
-Yes, Cole?
-That's not correct. Where'd you hear that?
-Cole, this was a legal courthouse. Laws were passed here. Some of the first laws of this country. This building was full of lawyers. Lawmakers.
-I don't like people looking at me like that.
-Like what?
-I don't know how else to look--
-Excuse me?
-What--
-How did you--?
-Stuttering Stanley! Stuttering Stanley!
-Stuttering Stanley!
-S-ssstop that!
-Stuttering Stanley! Stuttering Stanley!
-S-ssssstop it!
-Stuttering--
-...He doesn't get invited places.
-It's our pleasure.
-The last time was a Chuck E. Cheese party a year ago. He hid in one of those purple plastic tunnels and didn't come out.
-Chuck E. who?
-I work at an insurance place and at Penny's, so Cole can go to that good school.
-Good for you.
-Your pa's waiting for you up at the house.
-'Course, some folks say 'ol Jethro shouldn't have been buried up here... with the rest of the Macdonalds.
-Meaning?
-Maybe you don't want to remember.
-What are you talking about?
-'Course, it's none of my business.
-You ever hear of... the harvest of blood?
-Superstition.
-Your grandfather sure believed in it. Worked pretty good... too.
-Chicken blood on the crops.
-I'd watch your step if I were you, son.
-Oh yeah? Why's that?
-Just talked to Orwell down at the garage. Says getting a new alternator for your bus is no problem.
-Alright!
-Could take a little while, though.
-What's a "little while?"
-Yo. "Billy Bob". Was I two beats behind, or what?
-Nope.
-See?
-You were a beat and a quarter behind.
-Fuck you! If you're such an expert on music, why don't you go get your dueling banjo and sit in on the next song?
-Okay, Farm Boy. Joke's over. You've been playin' me from jump street. Where's my Nikes?
-Listen to me, you banjo-dueling, country ass hayseed... I want my Nikes and I want them now!
-Get off his case sweetie.
-Where'd you come from? Groupies R Us?
-Fuck you.
-Bitch.
-Slut.
-Witch.
-Hey! Don't use all the hot water!
-Keep your shirt on! I'm almost done!
-Bitch.
-Let me guess. We're going on a "long trip".
-Rod... I have to get back to my job.
-Someone actually... employs you?
-I happen to be a professional.
-Hi.
-...Hi.
-You have a strong unfufilled desire.
-Yeah. To get the hell off this farm.
-No. This is something spiritual. An ambition.
-Aha. The Lovers.
-Suzie???
-Looks like the alternator.
-Yeah. It's the alternator all right.
-How would you know? You're looking at my tits. Jesus, Carl. Your job is to keep us on the road!
-Hey, isn't that the preacher?
-Dammit, Carl!!!!
-There's something weird going on here, Suzie.
-No shit.
-I'm serious. Get this. I had a careful look at that alternator. It's clearly been messed with... it's not wear and tear that caused that breakdown...
-You're saying someone's trying to keep us on the farm...?
-Come on --
-Carl, what are you doing?
-AAAAAAAAAAAA --
-Gene.
-Missed you at church this morning, Jeremiah.
-You're not going to arrest me for it, are you?
-Hell, no. But you missed a damn good sermon. "You can't hide a wicked heart from the eyes of the Lord."
-Sounds familiar.
-Thought your boy and his band were only staying the night.
-You know, one day I'm going to have to shut down that still of yours, Jeremiah.
-Motherfucking soundman! I couldn't hear myself sing!
-I could. You sucked.
-Hey. Fuck you.
-Okay. My main man. Marvin Gaye.
-Wait a second. Did you say "patricide?"
-Yeah. Marvin's old man gunned him down.
-That's not patricide. Patricide is when you gun down your old man.
-All right. "Fratricide". Minor technical detail.
-Wrong. Fratricide is when you gun down your brother. You're out. My turn.
-Fine. Be that way. Jim Morrison.
-Nike specials. Two hundred bucks.
-"Peggy-Sue" --
-Damn! These are one hundred dollar Nikes!
-Curt Cobain.
-Well, there goes our record deal.
-You're out of your mind, man.
-I am not! I'm telling you, it's worth its weight in gold.
-The ancient Aztecs knew how powerful this stuff was.
-Are you crazy?
-Hmmm. This shit isn't bad.
-So... what does it do?
-Should we be doing this, dude?
-"Old Macdonald... had --"
-"With a hack-hack here --"
-"And a slash-slash there --"
-He means moon shining.
-Harvest moonshining!
-Yeah, man. You were wrong, Suze. My solo definitely works better in the second verse.
-Carl! Oh Carrrrl!
-We've got to call someone -- get the sheriff--
-What are you going to do? Shoot me?
-Depends. You got some nerve intruding on a man's grief. I bet I could pull this trigger right now and call it justifiable homicide. Now: who are you?
-I'm your son. And Laureen's son.
-Ain't nobody mentioned that name on this farm for 14 years. My boy was taken from me... far as I'm concerned, he's dead. Now, I ain't gonna ask you again. -- Who are you?!
-Joseph Macdonald... Your son.
-I came back for the funeral. That's all.
-I'll be gone again tomorrow.
-How... was she "called?"
-Pardon?
-That old barn. After the fire... I rebuilt it nail by nail. Just the way your granddaddy would've wanted it.
-This is his room... isn't it?
-Was. You ain't afraid of ghosts, now are you?
-You got it wrong, boy. I'm not the monster you think.
-Maybe you should tell that to the old lady you tried to hit with the shovel.
-I wouldn't pay Jesse no mind at all. She's just a crazy old woman. Hasn't been right in the head since her husband passed away. Wasn't much right before that, neither.
-Old slave superstition. You sprinkle a little blood mixed with water on the crops, you get yourself a good harvest... So they say.
-You'll be back.
-You like it? Irrigation system. Your grandaddy built it himself. Saved the land from dying.
-That's a good idea. Maybe we should have a little "talk" about grandaddy Jethro.
-Sure. What do you want to know.
-People say he was a murderer.
-Then who?! Because someone wants another blood harvest. With human blood, Jeremiah! Just like Jethro! Who did he kill back then, Jeremiah? Farmhands? Transients? People no one would miss? "Crazy Old Macdonald!" But now... it's starting again, isn't it? Someone's picking up where Jethro left off!
--- It's not me!
-It's time to make amends.
-Amends...?
-Think boy. That night. The night of the fire. At the barn. You were only six years old.
-Throw me one.
--- And keep your eyes on the road.
-I'm admiring your costume. What "movie" are you going as again?
-Never heard of it.
-I'm not surprised. It's got a body count of zero. And no one goes around in a stupid mask, hacking innocent people to death.
-Is that all you ever think of? Suppose I was really hurt!
-Dammit, Karen -- I was just... looking for your pulse.
-Ow!
-What's wrong?
-Hey -- Macdonald's farm!
-Jesus. What a bunch of useless zombies.
-Who? Us?!
-Hey. Could you be a little more insensitive? We're on our way to a funeral for Crissake.
-You know what they say about men who need big guns...
-Hey. Some Klu Klux Klan homeboy gets in my face, he gonna have a few extra holes in his bedsheet.
-Down boy.
-Yeah. Maybe I can pick a little cotton for da masta.
-You got something against farm people, Keith?
-It's a farm, Keith. You're not supposed to shoot the rooster.
-He started it.
-You seen Mac? His bed hasn't been slept in.
-Hallelujah! ...Civilization... here I come!
-What the fuck you talking about, man?
-Asphyxiation. Choked to death on a ham sandwich. Next.
-Buzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry, wrong answer!
-Chicken sandwich?
-Bzzzzzzzzzt!
-You wanna know the difference? The difference is that you're screwing up the song.
-Shit!
-Relax. He liked what he saw. Well, some of it. Enough to give us a showcase audition. One week from today.
-Yes!
-Try taking a left after the next cow pasture.
-Yeah. That's just the problem.
-You guys figure it out. I'm taking a break.
-How does it feel, Keith?
-Fuck you! Fuck all of you! I'm done kickin' it with cows and roosters. -- And drinking moonshine with Johnny Cash! Senior AND Junior!
-Is that right?
-Time for a little... "feedback" guys. That guy from Hectic Records --
-Yeah?
-You never told us you grew up on a farm.
-My father and I don't exactly see eye to eye.
-About what?
-Name something.
-Then why go back now?
-What about Jeremiah?
-What's wrong?
-This... used to be Jethro's room. The attic.
-So?
-I'm talking to the spirit of Jethro Macdonald. Is it okay to have sex in your old attic with your grandson? We'll be careful of the bed --
-Let it go.
-Think of it... as a threesome. You. Me. And... "Jethro."
-We're almost ready. What the hell are you doing out here?
-How'd you get that? Playing with your pitchfork?
-Picked up one of those shears. Blade's razor sharp. -- Where is everyone?
-Getting ready.
-Look. You want to talk about this?
-Strange... I can feel my old self coming back...
-You wouldn't understand.
-Suzie --
-Billy Bob's dead. -- We were wrong -- he didn't do anything. I-It's the scarecrow --
-Wait a minute --
-I... saw him -- he tried to kill me -- he's, he's -- still -- out there --
-What are --
-HE'S STILL OUT THERE!!!
-You're... limping.
-Suzie... No.
-It's you. You and your father.
-No --
-You brought us here. And that morning I found you in the barn. You had scratches on your face --
-Listen to me --
-You sabotaged the bus! You kept us here... To die! First Keith, then Carl --
-No Mac, please... I --
-Mac... let's get out of here.
-Get out of here.
-The trap door. That's how he escaped the fire...
-...no... Mac... p-please...
-I almost thought for a second...
-Yeah. Great work, Rod. But next time, it would be nice... if you could JOIN US FOR THE ENTIRE SET!
-Hey. Anyone here need lessons, just talk to me.
-What is it?!!
-She's a Tarot Card Reader at a shopping mall.
-Hold it, hold it. Aren't you forgetting something, Rod?
-Like what?
-Like your guitar break.
-It's coming right up. After the third verse.
-Second verse!
--- Where have you two been?
-Where's Mac?
-Carl.
-CARL??? Carl did this?!!
-Someone better tell Mac.
-It gets worse. He's cut all the phone lines.
-Bill, you're Chief of police now.
-Comes with some Goddamn responsibility, like keeping your people in line.
-Shit.
-Bill, we need to talk!
-Bill, this Brenda's Randy Flagg's niece. We need to find Grant yesterday! The town council has lit a Roman candle and stuck it up my ass!
-Hell, Jack, your leisure activities ain't my business.
-How are you going to find him?
-That young lady heard you say 'squid.' She's gonna go out and create a Goddamn hysteria!
-What?
-Touch some deer feces out in the forest. Eat a sandwich without washing your hands. Then you got lyme disease.
-And that makes you look like a squid?
-Don't worry. The lurker ain't around. I checked.
-That's not funny.
-Sorry.
-Whatcha' doin'?
-What you up to?
-Pretty, ain't they?
-I don't know. I've seen them so many times before. I guess any spot gets boring after awhile.
-There's a place over there on the bluffs. When the fog is just right, like tonight, the lights of Main look like a kaleidoscope.
-Oh, yeah?
-Mm hm. But only a few folks know how to get there. Wally. Rollo Linkski coulda taken you, but 'course he got hit by that train. Me.
-Grant, where'd you go?
-Maybe she's ever called the house, or -- ?
-No. What ?
-How about Brenda?
-Bill, I heard what you're doing. I think I should go along.
-Wait! Dammit, Bill, if that girl's still out there, how will you find her? How, unless you bring Grant in alive? Your best chance of doing that is with me. I can talk to him --
-He tried to kill you, Starla.
-Please, Bill. What happened, it's my fault, I know it.
-Starla, it ain't --
-No reception out here.
-Was always curious why you... married Grant in the first place... Just never seemed outta love.
-Grant used to get filled up every day. I knew it was just to see me. He was too old -- But he was handsome. And he had that big ol' Lincoln then. I flirted with him.
-My father, he was -- he was real close to evil. People didn't know. Still don't. From the time I was a toddler he'd beat the hell out of me. I don't mean just like a smack for smart--mouthing... he took a real enjoyment in it. And when I turned eleven or twelve, things... well, they got worse. Starla looks at Bill, who seems
-When you wanted to run away, I called your dad.
-That wasn't a good night, no.
-After all this shit tonight, I know for sure now you regret not running off with me to Hollywood!
-What are you doing?!
-We can't make it. Just get away, when you get the chance.
-What?
-He wants me, Bill! I'm going to get him to take me to him! See if you can follow me, and kill him!
-We can probably get some first aid and food at this gas station up here.
-I'll get it for you. Ibuprofen or aspirin?
-We'll just head up here into Bishopville, get checked up in the hospital. Then maybe we'll head off to Hollywood after all, huh?
-Please, Starla. I'm gonna do my best not to hurt anybody --
-You took Bill.
-It's my nature.
-What's she see in that douchebag?
-He's gotta be in the forest. All three ranches run alongside it.
-And then we get here, the Castavets', where last night's shit--storm took place.
-Where are you?!
-He's a fucking Martian?!
-When I buy my zoo, I'm leaving them things the hell out!
-What the hell are we going to do?!
-Surprised you're able to lift a mug after carrying that torch for so long.
-What?
-Some kids found her necklace near Tipper Creek, as well as what might be her blood on a rock.
-Rorschach.
-Looks like a chipmunk.
-I think we best get you to a hospital right quick.
-You dig that rat out of the hole?
-Listen, you got any reports of... I don't know what you call 'em. They look like big slugs, only fast.
-Slugs? No. 'Less you talkin' about that new waitress down at Sloan's! Ha ha!
-Shelby --
-Oh, shit! I hope she ain't a police radio aficionado. If so, I apolog
-Are you nodding?
-Yeah.
-I can't hear when you're nodding.
-Sorry.
-Shelby, we broke down on 22, a mile outside town. Come pick us up.
-I got to leave my post.
-Hey there, Chief.
-Shelby! We need people out here at Cosgrove and McCammon right away!
-Megan Halesy' little sister.
-My sister Megan, she's a big fat cow. Was then, even more so now. I'd be thinking, what'd you see in her ain't in me?
-Shit, girl, you couldn't'a been eleven.
-Who's the lucky fella?
-Fuck lucky. Never marry a damn half--Mexican.
-Already ain't. Married a gal named --
-You're lookin' awful pretty.
-Where's the old half--Mexican?
-Guess it's hard to explain how amazin' a human brain is to someone who that's all they know.
-What?
-Grant? Grant, I'm hungry. I'm so fuckin' hungry I think I'm gonna die.
-Meat.
-Sure thing, killer.
-What can I do you for?
-Thinkin' 'bout getting me a couple of these big ol' rib eyes.
-Hell, what am I holding back for? Why don't you just give me everything you got here?
-All the rib eyes?
-He's teaching environmental science, Grant. Probably wants to borrow my lesson plans from last semester.
-Oh yeah, that's what he wants to borrow, this guy.
-It's just a work thing.
-Grant, no -- I'm sorry, I'm just -- I'm not in the mood. Grant is on top of her, breathing a little too heavy. GRANT Come on, baby, it's --
-I'm sorry. I don't just have some switch.
-Flip.
-Where are you going?
-I'm just some big clown to you, ain't I?
-That's not true -- Where are you--?
-I never danced in a towel before.
-Welcome home.
-Yeahhhh. I'm sorry. I just got so excited about... your present.
-My present?
-You're my princess, aren't you?
-Okay.
-What are you doing?
-Who's that?
-Grant. Oh my God. What happened to your -- ?
-I'll get if for you.
-Why'd you betray me, sugarplum?!
-Grant, no!
-I loved you. I loved --
-But not always. I was -- He was... other stuff too.
-Now he's here. He went in Mr. Grant.
-He took him over. His body. His -- his brain, everything what he knew. He's only been dumb stuff before amoeba--things, and rhino--things. He liked being human. Didn't want to change.
-And you said the worms are part of him. They're all linked, like one creature?
-When one sees you they all see you.
-Ain't no mystery to it. She's raised in them shanties off St. Luc. Dirt--poor.
-So he drags the cow backwards here. Only he prolly didn't know 'bout the Castavets had them dogs.
-Where'd he go?
-Praise Jesus.
-Maybe you better sit back down. You don't look so good.
-Just the man who's gonna see you driven to your knees! Sheriff Buell Clayton from Texas.
-Not that I don't have any respect for the law, but what's your problem, man?
-You.
-Yeah, well I kinda figured that.
-You know, you may think you're gonna get away, but I promise you, everytime you turn around, I'll be there, breathing down your neck.
-Get your hands off my daughter!
-Aw, ain't you glad to see me, Bandit?
-What's he get if he wins here?
-I can't believe there's two thousand people here to watch a bunch of guys back up their trucks.
-America's bored. Now, what do you want?
-You're crazy, man. Smart dresser, but crazy.
-What's the matter? Legend has it Bandit LaRue's king of the road.
-I hear a few weeks ago you smuggled sixteen Beaners up to West Virginia.
-Look, you make this little run for me, I'll buy you a new rig.
-Last year, this was a new rig.
-I got a boy running in the Peach Tree Classic tomorrow and when he wins, I wanna celebrate in style.
-How much style?
-Four hundred cases worth. Well?
-You got my barley pop?
-Okay. I was in Texas dancing in an industrial show for Sunkist Oranges. They say I'm the new Anita Bryant. But I'm really a dancer from New York. A lot of credits. Moderate talent. Anyway, after opening night, I was walking back to the motor lodge and suddenly there he was. A tall Texan with a twenty-nine inch waist. Pure dynamite.
-All sound reasons for matrimony.
-Look, I'm a twenty-eight year old hoofer who spends most of her time with fags. Besides, I'm impulsive. It runs in the family. We're all crazy. Mind if I smoke? Anyway, today was the 'bid day.' But as I was walking down the aisle, I realized this is total insanity. What am I going to do in Texas the rest of my life? I
-Kate McConnell.
-Why're you driving so fast?
-I gotta get back to Atlanta in thirteen hours.
-Why? You have a bowling date?
-Cute. No, 'cause no one's ever made it from Atlanta to Texarkana and back in twenty-eight hours.
-Who'd want to?
-I never looked at it that way. You ask a lot of questions.
-Why are you doing this obviously macho feat?
-For a new Kenworth. That's a truck.
-A truck? You're doing this for a truck? That's insanity.
-It's not a truck. It's the Rolls Royce of eighteen-wheelers.
-But you could get killed, right?
-Hey, you could get killed crossing the street.
-An existentialist.
-A what?
-So tell me about yourself.
-Well?...
-Whaddya want to know? My sign?
-No. I want to know what you think about besides ditching Smokey?
-Having fun.
-Is this fun?
-Driving?
-Driving, talking to me...
-They're both a challenge.
-You have a great profile.
-Where you from?
-Mattoon, Illinois. But I moved down south to work in the Civil Rights movement.
-Seriously?!?
-Guess what?
-I give up.
-What the hell's going on?
-Anything?
-Can I ask you something?
-Shoot.
-You know, you're not a bad driver.
-That's a Texas cop. What the hell's he doing in Arkansas?
-I don't know. Maybe Jerry Jeff sent the heat after us.
-You know, my mother was a dancer, too. Her big shot was the touring company of 'Brigadoon.' She's been married three times. To a redneck, a poet and her tennis instructor. See, I motor-mouth when I get nervous. I was nervous when I first got into the car. Now I'm scared shitless.
-Well?
-Your honeymoon would've never been this exciting.
-Christ, what channel are we on?...
-The bus'll pick you up over there. Uh... you got enough bread for a ticket?
-Enough to get to Jersey. I'll walk the rest of the way. I've been sitting a long time. Nice meeting you. It's been a trip.
-Hey...
-Jesus!!!
-See ya, Kate.
-What the hell are you doing?!?
-You know this guy, don't you?
-I've never seen him before in my life. I'm just trying to help you out.
-By stealing my car?
-I would've come back for you.
-Yeah.
-Look, the truth is, I didn't want to be dumped at the truck stop. I wanted to go on with you. I needed an excuse.
-You could've asked.
-Where did you learn how to drive like this?
-Mississippi's the other way!
--- You know, I used to be a high fashion model. Tried it for six months and almost freaked. Makeup, silly clothes, a little man saying 'darling' every two seconds...
-Yeah, it's tough when your cheek- bones are your main asset.
-Let's hit it.
-You plan on driving trucks all your life?
--- Trucking ain't the easiest life in the world. I mean, you can't make it much past fifty and you sure as shit don't get a gold watch when you hang it all up. But I like keeping on the move. You know?
-Do I know? I'm an authority on it.
-I guess if there's one lesson I've learned, it's that even misery has a tough time hitting a moving target. I forgot your question?
-You plan on driving trucks all your life?
-I... uh... I don't know. I guess don't like to think about it.
-An unmarked police car.
-How do you know?
-I'm sure the Arkansas Bears put out an all-points.
-I'm proud of you.
-Yeah?
-Kate...
-Ummm?
-I been thinking. Maybe I should drop you in Montgomery. I mean, the way things are going, it might get pretty hairy by the time we get to Atlanta.
--- Actually, my heaviest relationship was with a rock singer named Ramblin' Bobby Holt. When I turned twenty- one, I went to Europe with visions of being free and independent. My luck, he was on the plane. I landed in Paris and fell in love before I could claim my baggage. We were together for almost a year. I thought he was it.
-And?
-My very words.
-They should arrest people for obeying the speed limit.
--- It's hard to believe this schmuck Kyle would go to such lengths for Coors beer.
-It's not the beer. He just wants to see me fail.
-What kind of a guy is he?
-What are you gonna do when you get home?
-Why are you stopping?
-One to five?
-Well, at least it hasn't been boring.
-Well, thanks for the lift.
-What can I say?
-He's just exhausted.
-I should've told you, but you would've thrown me out, right?
-Absolutely.
-What are you thinking?
-See ya, Bandit.
-Why should I?
-I'm working, Bandit. Besides, what's the matter? Won't your new girl friend help you?
-What do you want me to do, Hot Pants? Beg?
-Yes.
-I'm begging.
-I want you to know I'm doing this against my better instincts.
-But you'll do it?
-I'll do it.
-I owe you a big one, Hot Pants.
-What's your pleasure?
-Couple of cheeseburgers, no condiments...
-No what?
-Order up!
-Sure I can't interest you in anything else?
-Cledus.
-No.
-Whadda we have to do -- kidnap the Pope?
-Twenty-eight hours! You're outta your gord.
-Is that any way to talk to your ole partner? Look, it's only nine hundred miles each way.
-That means we gotta average ninety- four miles per. Forget it.
-No one's ever done it before. This'll put us on the map.
-Or in the slammer.
-Did I tell you they're gonna give us a brand new Kenworth?
-Believe me, man; Fred'll be no problem.
-You know of course, we ain't ever gonna make it.
-Quit being so negative, guy; 'course we're gonna make it. We ain't never not made it, have we?
-No.
-See.
-Our asses gonna be in a sling if we get caught.
-How long's this gonna take?
-I don't know, man. Ask him?
-We gotta let the slack out, Cledus; this is costing us time.
-If you ask me, I think we should make that run to Choo Choo Town and pick up that load of lumber. Nice. Easy. And within the law.
-Also boring.
-What are you doin' now?
-All right, here's our plan of communication, so as to avoid Smokey.
-Go.
-Now, if I say go to channel three, it really means go to six.
-Six. Got it.
-If I say go to twenty-one, go to nineteen.
-Twenty-one is nineteen.
-If I say go to two, it's really one.
-You're wall to wall and tree top tall.
-I'm gonna run a couple miles ahead of you. Keep both feet on the floor. We'll be moving ninety and over.
-Bandit?
-Yeah?
-Why are we doing this?
-Loud and clear.
-He's history.
-Shit! No one's here.
-That's 'cause we're damn near an hour ahead of schedule.
-Liquid gold.
-You know how to drive one of these things?
-Hit the brakes!
-Let's get the hell outta here.
-Shouldn't we pay 'em for the damages?
-We still on schedule?
-I hate to say I told you so.
-Save it. We got a long haul.
-Bandit I, do you copy?
-You can't swear on these.
-What's going on, Bandit? Come on.
-This is Bandit II. Now, where the hell are you?
-On two lane blacktop. Mile marker six-one. How we doin' on time?
-Thirty-eight minutes ahead of schedule.
-What's your twenty?
-I'm 'bout four miles ahead of you, turkey.
-What's a Texas Smokey doing in Arkansas, man?
-I hope that's you, buddy; 'cause I'd hate to start believing in ghosts.
-What does the old Timex say?
-She's losing minutes so you better start running interference or we're never gonna make it. Might I remind you this was your brainstorm.
-Bandit?
-Yeah, guy?
-My vocal cords are fine, but Fred's ain't. He's been barking, eating the seats and driving me crackers. Hear that? Where's his chow?
-On its way. Give me a coupla minutes, okay?
-Do I have a choice?
-What's your twenty?
-I'm still trying to ditch this Texas Smokey. I don't know what the sucker wants.
-What they all want -- to handcuff a hero.
-As far as John Law knows, I'm just a joy ridin' Georgia redneck. We keep 'em outta your backyard, we're cool. Now just give me five to ditch this idiot and I'll meet you in Ole Miss.
--- Gimme a twenty, pardner.
-I'm at marker eight-five.
-I thought you were dumping the chick at the truck stop.
-I ran into complications.
-I hate to say it...
-Then don't.
--- But everytime we've ever messed up, it's because your rhyme's over- ruling your reason. I know you think you're God's gift to waitresses, but...
-Just don't worry about it. How we doin' timewise?
-Not good enough to be standing here shooting the bull.
-We're gone.
-Never mind. It's nothing.
-Anything else you don't want me to know?
-Bandit two, I gotta make a quick pit stop.
-Now what?
-We're outta motion lotion.
--- Looks like a clear shot to the 'Bama State Line.
-I'm all ears, good buddy.
-You're gonna hit some heavy precipitation in about six minutes. Better let your flaps down, these roads are killers when they're damp.
-It shouldn't last. Gives me time to take a go-go juice break.
-Ran into a little hassle at the eatum- up-stop.
-You okay?
-Just fine. What's the weather like?
-God's back on our side, so let's get smokin'.
--- How we doing?
-Talk to me.
-We're gonna have to do a little tightrope act.
-I'm all ears.
-Bandit II?
-I'm here.
-You're coming up to the scale house.
-Bandit I, let me offer my heartiest congratulations and a piece of advice.
-What's that, pardner?
-How's the clock, Bandit II.
-Are you loco, pardner!?! We've come this far.
-Yeah, but...
-When we agree to do a job, we do it. Right?
-But they're waiting for me. They don't even know Cledus Snow exists.
-Breaker. Breaker.
-Go breaker.
-Bandit, I just thought I'd lay a Smokey report on you.
-Go head on, breaker.
-I would say your future's looking dim, boss.
-What's your twenty and what's your handle?
-My handle's Silver Tongued Devil and I'm here to tell you, your fellow CB'ers are mighty proud of y'all.
-Breaker. Breaker.
-Pick it up, Breaker.
-Thanks for the break. Bandit, this here's the Dixie Chicken.
-Breaker, Breaker. This is Bandit I, coming up on a portable gas station. Do you copy?
-Bandit, this is Mister B, and I'm gearjamming this rolling refinery. You got another Smokey on the rubber?
-It ain't ever been done before, hot shit.
-I think you're just yellow.
-Pop, a K-Whopper's worth seventy thou.
-Seventy-two five. Why do you want this barley pop so bad?
-Have any trouble getting here?
-Gimme three sloppy joes and a coupla cups of hot stuff.
-You pass that funky Cobra on the highway?
-Uh-uh. What Cobra?
-Some boy named Bandit's been givin' the Highway Patrol shit fits.
-Oh, yeah. Good for him.
-Listen, pardner; this ain't no time to be getting laid.
-This is Bandit I. Over.
-Where the hell are you?
-Shut up, Fred.
-Bandit II. We'll be back on the highway in a second. Over.
-Yeah, Bandit II, Que pasa?
-That's a Texas bubble gum machine on your back porch.
-I'm Kate. You must be Cledus.
-Yes, ma'am.
-Bandit two, you read me?
-Is that Bandit in the lead?
-If that sumbitch was in the race, he'd be in the winner's circle by now.
-I still think this whole idea is dumb, pop.
-Why don't we just rent a Lear jet and haul it back ourselves?
-But if it can't be done, how's he gonna do it?
-That's the point, Dickey.
-Oh.
-Now, you just find him, son.
-Five thou.
-That crazy sumbitch made it.
--- Breaker, this is Banana Peel...
--- Yeah, Breaker go head on.
--- Thanks much. I'd like to get me a Smokey report?
--- Road looks clean as a hound's tooth.
--- Breaker, Breaker. This is Banana Peel.
--- Yeah, Banana Peel, go head on.
--- Did ya hear they nailed the Bandit?
-It's gotta be tough keeping an eye on everything.
-So, Bill, if I understand this right, you currently have your penthouse floor under construction?
-That's correct.
-But with these down, doesn't that pose a major security concern if, as you say, you have to keep an eye on everything at all times?
-Well, we were worried about dust and debris from the work being done ruining the cameras, so--
-Yes, but no -- we have personnel stationed at both ends of that hall, twenty-four hours a day.
-Right now? A six man security force, plus a member of our Butler staff. So seven men total.
-Uh -- well, yes, uh just in terms of the men up there now, my team, he's serving lunch and dinner and just doing general upkeep so --
-C'mon Bill... you've got some Sultan up there, one of your whales, big- spender, likes a lot of space, you cook up this "construction" thing...?
-No, no, no. We've been looking to renovate that area of our hotel for some time now. The security team is only present to preserve floor integrity, due to the roof access.
-Is your security team armed?
-Of course. Yes.
-Anything on the Swede?
-Only the mention made in that phone call. There's no Swedish hitman of any renown, much less one with a million dollar day rate.
-Maybe he's that good. Never been caught, no criminal record.
-I tell you, engineering this kind of play against Sparazza, going to the lengths these guys are going to... they're playing some long odds.
-And a very bad gamble.
-Spotter on the lake confirmed Israel. Penthouse level. There was apparently a fisticuffs with some prostitutes. He wasn't involved. He's also had his people phone a local madame for another group of girls.
-Unreal, this guys jacket too. Wall- to-wall major felony offenses, murder, extortion, arson, grand larceny -- -- A paternity suit... I just feel like we're playing catch-up with all this and we shouldn't be.
-Welcome to the new Bureau. Nobody shares information anymore, it's become synonymous with job security.
-But the Bureau knew Sparazza killed Heller. Why not go after him, guns blazing' for that one?
-Heller was buried in agency lore, anytime an operative failed or was perceived to have failed, Hoover blackballed their memory. Look at Ness.
-So he has no idea what's about to happen?
-No. And I want to be in that room a half second after Mecklen calls to say the deal's done. We've got a sheriff's task force on stand-by.
-What about the hotel staff obstructing us. Israel's obviously paid off the management.
-He's giving them up?
-All of 'em. His entire entourage. I think we should move.
-Did the Justice lawyers sign off?
-What about the sheriff's task force?
-Deputy, have you made any ID's?
-Maroon uniforms?
-Yeah. Have you been able to get through to the Nomad's security?
-How bad?
-Mortal.
-No.
-Yeah, ye-- I -- uh, there were, earlier, there was that guy Carrut--
--- Agent Carruthers. Do you know where is he now?
-He uh -- he asked about -- I'm -- he wanted to know whic-- what floor security was on, then I saw him get on the elevator with the other agent.
-Did he give you his name?
-Yeah, uh -- it was Spanish-somethin' Garcia, or Diego, uh --
--- run both those names through the D.C. database. Call San Francisco, see if they've got anybody in the field doing collateral inquiries for --
-Who?
-This man wearing the jacket identified himself as an Federal agent?
-Uh, yeah.
-You're sure?
-Yeah, he had the badge and everything. It said "FBI" on it.
-And when you saw him later, he was wearing one of your security jackets --
-Yeah.
-You investigating those murders out at the lake?
-Ww... uh...
-Yeah, shit -- hell, you're right. I'm sorry.
-You shot me and murdered my friends.
-I did. We -- yeah, I know.
-And threw us into the lake.
-And this is your car, isn't it?
-Mmm-hmm.
-But there were more of you?
-Yeah, m'brothers... They didn't make it.
-Two of 'em?
-Thass' right. I got other brother's though, so it ain't so bad.
-...I forgive you Darwin.
-Shoot, I appreciate that man.
-If I needed your I.D. and your car and me and my brothers were wanted by the law, I woulda killed you to get 'em too.
-You woulda?
-Oh hell yeah. We's just in the wrong place at the wrong time. So don't feel so bad dude.
-Damn... alright then.
-Really?
-Man, that's great.
-I got it made in the shade Amigo. Hey, I'll see you up here some day, don't worry.
-Are you on a land line?
-I've got concerns.
-...About what?
-About cocaine... and the amount you're doing.
-I'm not doing cocaine.
--- Forget about the tissue damage you're doing to the heart itself. Sustained cocaine abuse will segue you from a very painful ventricular fibrillation into full cardiac arrest. Buddy, nobody knows about your condition, or your drug use. Why you lied to me, knowing that I'd find out anyway, I'll never know, but it imperative now that I see you.
-That's not possible. I told you.
-There are certain meds, certain intravenous measures that can counteract some of the damage you've done, but I'd have to administer them myself.
-Won't work, we're just gonna have to chance it man. I'm sorry.
-No. Sorry comes later, when you're in a partial coma with ambulatory paralysis. Sorry comes when we have to decide which of your limbs have to be amputated because severely constricted blood flow has brought about a gangrenous infection, sorry --
-I'm here, where's the car?
-What happened?
-His law firm, same one that hired me. Israel walked out after he made bail and nobody's seen him since.
-So I guess you're not going.
-I know his location, we've got the drop of a maybe half a day before that location gets grape-vined and the rest of the world gets hipped.
-Yeah, we've been through that.
-Then quit acting like somebody shit in your cereal bowl. Reed just gave us fifty grand.
--- Jack, what am I doing? I'm standing here, aren't I? Shouldn't that be enough? That I made the trip?
-Your attitude sucks.
-Two security levels, the one we're going in under the guise of, hotel security, has restricted access. They're mostly there to monitor the lobby, handle disturbances on the different floors and toss out drunks. There's a thirty-five member employee rotation going from graveyard to day shift. If we split up, we can blend in and enter unnoticed. Once we're inside the hotel, we'll regroup.
-D'you talk to'm?
-What'd you say?
-I said I got his machine.
-No, what did you say on the machine?
-I left him a message.
-Jesus Hugo! How is it that you can turn a simple conversation into a fucking hedge maze!? This is zero degree of difficulty man!
-Okay.
-I said that we were returning his call and you were real concerned, because he sounded real concerned.
-About what?
-I dunno... Cinnamon roll?
-I could have it sent out...
-Do you want me to say I did it?
-I was kinda hoping, yeah.
-Do you want me to say I'm sorry?
-...I'm sorry...
-Are you a fucking colossal idiot?
-I am. Yeah.
-Without peer?
-Answer your fucking pages! I've been calling for fifteen minutes, we need you up here to clean NOW!
-Fifty grand gouge. South shore hayseeds, this is why I never play Tahoe, or redneck Reno...
-We're hot, and they're losing a whole floor's worth of business saying it's "under construction."
-That's probably him now...
-Y'ain't never had to wash another man's blood off, dig it out y'fingernails... Y'had us for that. Y'ain't ever made a real beef on y'own, shit as light in the ass as you are, I'll bet you ain't ever made anything more than a fuck'n fist your whole life. So if you think I'mma let your lil' punk-ass, with the dirt I've done for
-FUCK YOU!
-They're gonna give on this in the next ten seconds or the deal's off!
-I dunno what to say to you sweetheart, it is what it is.
-Baby, I've been co-habitating with these people for the past thirty odd hours and in so doing, have stared into the face of hell. These are the premier prick cocksuckers of all time and I feel beaten by them, I feel bloodied --
-And I vibe that kiddo, I do indeed, but it's one'a those fait accompli things, you have to --
-I don't have to do shit! Which includes cooperating any further with these motherfuckers until I get what I want! Alright, fuck it, if we gotta hand 'em somebody from our end and they're being hard-ons about it -- make it Hugo, him I don't mind. He needs that regimented thing that prison provides --
--- Buddy, it's bigger than that, they want 'em all, Ivy, Beanie --
-Buddy, they revoked the deal, they pulled it...
-They what? What? No. No. Why?
-Sparazza is rumored to have performed in excess of one-hundred and thirty contract murders, including one of the bureau's most celebrated agents. Freeman Heller. You heard of "The Turnpike Murders" that was Sparazza.
-So he's personally issued the contract on Israel?
-A marked man gets wise and wants to come in.
-So the wiretaps we conducted on Serna and Padiche, the mention of Israel's heart?
-On an extradition flight back to El Salvador, he murdered a security detachment and vanished.
-You think it's possible he could be involved in the Israel hit?
-It's the last place they'd look.
-Here. Sit. Please.
-This is him? The hitman hired to kill Israel? He's a doctor?
-What the hell -- What is this!? People died. Agent Carruthers is dead!
-Where's Israel?
-What are you doing here?
-My debrief --
--- will be handled back in --
-I can't discuss --
--- You can and you will.
-You're finished.
-...A paternity suit, filed 1967...
-...Does he know?
-Sparazza was in failing health and looking for a donor. The son who had betrayed and burned him so thoroughly seemed a obvious choice.
-So all of our intel was bogus to begin with.
-...When did you know all this?
-...Are you insane?
-You realize that Sparraza has had thirty-six major medical procedures performed on him since 1953? Elective plastic surgery, every single one --
-It wasn't elective. It was undertaken to save his life. And it wasn't cosmetic, it was reconstructive... Look at the date of the first procedure.
-...Yeah, fifty-three.
-...holy shit... that's Heller... Isn't it?
-The agents of that era are all dead and gone, history had defaulted to fable... until now. You can imagine the shock this sent through the corridors of power in D.C. Heller's op predates the second world war. That's over sixty years of intel. Do you know how valuable that could be? The man's a treasure trove.
-...So you made another deal?
-I wouldn't go that far.
-You're trying to save Sparazza?
-No... We're trying to save Heller.
-...So you knew all this and yet y--
--- We needed cohesion to move forward. Not conjecture.
-...while Carruthers and a dozen others lie dying, you debate semantics. The Bureau's betrayed us... The way they betrayed him...
-I'll overlook what you've done here today in light of what's taken place. You've been fully debriefed. Now I want you to return to D.C. immediately and make no further inquiry into this matter. I mean it. It's closed.
-Buzzy... Buzz...?
-Yeah... Sid?
-You got clicks, anything?
-Nah, nuthin' on my end --
-Alright, now Buzzy -- this is, this is it, here, okay, so listen to me careful and wait till I'm finished 'cuz we got no room for slop.
-Okay, he's gonna clip Israel, I just gotta outta there --
--- he's doing it then, huh --
--- yeah, now lemme finish, I was eavesdroppin', so give me sec, lay this thing out, since the information might be a little loose --
--- okay, g'head --
-No question, no, you're right. We gotta do what's good for us now.
-Fuckin' A, first survive, yes?
-Y'gotta, y'gotta. But d'ya think they'll kick ransom for that little prick, assuming we get to'm.
-... Jesus... what for?
--- who can say. He's off his onion, y'know, he's old school Sicilian, this is how they hate.
-Wow.
-Hey, we nab Israel, they pay t'get'm back, I'll cut the fuckin' thing out m'self, no extra charge. My thing is, we crew up, let's not fuck around, someone's cousin, some Zip off the boat from Naples, let's get pros, people who know how to behave.
-Yeah, there's a pair'a broads I'm thinking might be good for this.
-Chances are, they're gonna get into some shit too, hafta put people down.
-That's not a problem. Are we goin' outta pocket ourselves?
-Yeah, I can front this.
-Well just so I got a quote in my head. What's the rate for the Swede?
-That's the punchline, y'ready?
-Shoot.
-A million flat.
-No shit.
-Buzzy... Buzz...?
-Yeah... Sid?
-Right, you got clicks, anything?
-So how we lookin'?
-Good. This thing's on track, looks like it's gonna get done.
-Fuckin' thrilled t'hear it. So the scout, the sitdown, y'musta felt it from 'em then huh?
-Lil' cagey, y'know, don't like t'share trade secrets, that type'a thing.
-Okay -- yeah, I can, I respect that.
-Well, I'm hearin' the Swede's been dispatched, he's flying so --
--- No, no, not when y'can see the shore. I hear ya.
-Okay, well, y'know, then we just gotta get Israel.
-I'm working on it.
-Bag this fucker Buzzy.
-Georgia on my mind wit'yo fine ass. You know you saved this black man.
-You know I did baby... And a deep, dark one at that. Now if you ain't a dog, which you don't look like --
--- never in a million girl --
--- good, then all you got to be is grateful.
-No doubt. That's my moms there, taught me them skills.
-You love her?
-My mamma? C'mon shorty, y'gotta ask? You hurtin' pretty bad?
-Got hit twice.
-It's going around ain't it? Mafuckas catching bullets like the common cold up in this bitch. I think I accidentally shot and killed my boy today.
-Well, if it's any comfort, I's goin' in to there to act a fool baby. Straight rockin' heat and slayin' niggas --
-For real?
-Mmm-hmm... and your boy very well mighta been one of 'em.
-True?
-Like a mafucka.
-That takes some of the sting out.
-I probably woulda busted on you too... and what a shame that woulda been.
-I feel like I know you girl. I feel like I've known you forever. You gonna lemme see your scars?
-You do the right thing. Sit with me while I heal, let it develop slow.
-What were you doin' here anyway?
-We gotta lay something out, strategy- wise. Somethin' tight. Y'go in there ad-libbing, it's y'ass.
-Why?
-'Cuz we don't need to draw any more shit down on our heads. We hit whoever's between us and Israel. I don't want to dead the whole floor and I don't want to be killing women no matter how they make a living.
-Nuthin', we cool. There was somethin' about a fed being in the building.
-A Fed? Like FBI?
-When them tricks hit the lobby, holla at me and I'm gonna meet them on the way up, blend in. Once I get inside, I'mma put m'Nina to Israel's head and back out hot. Anybody's fucks with that program, y'break 'em off. They get gully --
-I'mma grip and rip girl. I got some handloads here ready to cut heads.
-Jus' remember, this is more rescuin' shit than rampagin' shit... What are you shootin'?
-You got the fifty up? Bitch y'tryin' t'take down a jumbo jet? Blown the moon out the sky? T'fuck you wanna get that grimy?
-The try t'wild out on my boo and it's on and crackin'! I'm layin' niggas out.
-...So you heard from Keith? He still fuckin' with that 'lil light-skinned girl?
-I ain't tryin' to break a sweat for that sorry ass nigga.
-He a dog babydoll. He a great dane. I tried to tell y'after ya'll first date. He hit that ass one time, his interest in a bitch start t'landslide.
-You know I burned all his shit. All that vinyl. Chalamar, Funkadelic, I burned his turntables too. They was like three-thousand brand new.
-Girl, lemme ask you somethin' and I want you t'tell me straight up, since I got my suspicions and y'know I ain't one t'talk circles... you gay?
-What!?
-Ain't nuthin' wrong wit' it.
-Damn! Why you trippin' like that?
--- I don't know, I feel like you always pushin' up on me, gettin' close and I love you baby, in every way you can love a bitch, 'cept that one.
-I ain't even goin' dignify that. You my road dog. We threw up sets. Plus you stank.
-What'd you say?
-Are you anywhere near the penthouse?
-No, but that definitely sounds like shots and I don't where it's comin' from --
--- It's your IFB, somebody else has got an earpiece, you're picking up their signal --
-What's wrong?
-I'm not givin' it up jus' yet...
-...Shhhhhhit... girl, there's these two dudes, just sittin' here in this elevator, all shot up...
-What?
-They musta been beefin' big time with one another, cuz this shit, got way past words, whatever it was.
-Girl one of these fools has an FBI badge on him! Is this the one that was doing the inspection?
-I DON'T KNOW!
-Bulllllshit...
-And so I get this straight, we gotta go in, bust on this punk and remove the heart? Is that for real?
-No, no, no, y'gotta go in and get him, pull'm out of wherever he at, forget all that other shit, that's just f'flavor. I'm still getting lil' bits'a this-n-that from this cat Padiche, the man contacting me... Right now, what we got -- -- Is a number and a name... Buddy Israel.
-What else did Padiche say?
-Forty-five apiece for you two, ten percent finders fee for me.
-What's the time frame?
-Gibarian.
-You think you're dreaming me, like you dream her. Understand something: I am the real Gibarian. Just a new incarnation.
-What do you want?
-You're being tricked. Sartorius picked a fight with you to avoid telling you about his idea for getting rid of the visitors. He's figured out they're made of subatomic particles called neutrinos, and he's going to create a negative neutrino field. Twenty four hours a day, until they're back on Earth.
-Can it work?
-What I'm saying is: Don't trust anyone. Find yourself a weapon of some sort.
-I can trust Rheya.
-You'll end up like me.
-You're not Gibarian...
-No? Who am I, then?
-A puppet.
-You have to give me your word you won't come in. Then I'll come out.
-What happened to Gibarian?
-Didn't you talk to Snow?
-I want to hear your version.
-Who, here, could possibly care what you want? At best, you're Employee of the Month for the highest bidder in the Solaris auction. They have no idea what's going on up here. They've never even been in space. And I'm supposed to listen to you?
-I am here to recover this mission, report my findings, and make a recommendation. Now: What happened to him?
-The same thing that could happen to any of us.
-Where's his body?
-In the lab. With her, probably.
-They shouldn't let people like you into space.
-Just so you know: I'm not going back until I understand what it is. I am going to figure out what it is, make it stop, and then I will go home.
-Listen --
-No. There's no behavior modification.
-Meaning Man can do whatever the fuck it wants?
-Yes.
-That's fantastic.
-You killed her!
-You murdered her!
-She'll come back.
-No, she won't.
-Why would you let her to do that?
-It's not human, Kelvin. Whatever it is, it's not human, and I am threatened by that. Evolution-of- the-species-at-stake threatened. And I want to win. I want humans to win. So I am killing it before it kills me.
-You fucking bastard...
-It's changing characteristics. It's solidifying taking on weight.
-How quickly?
-Where's Snow? Did you call him?
-What's wrong? What happened to Gibarian?
-He's dead.
-You didn't bring any chocolate, did you?
-What?
-I can't talk just now. I'm too tired.
-Where's Sartorius?
-In his lab. He won't let you in.
-He'll let me in.
-Is there anybody else here?
-Why, who did you see?
-Gibarian warned me. He left me a message.
-Who was it?
-Tell me. I won't think you're insane.
-How much sleep do you need?
-How much sleep?
-How long can you go without sleep?
-That depends.
-Was her breakfast conversation that bad?
-Shut up.
-I told you, try to stay calm. You're supposed to be the psychologist of the bunch.
-Personally, I think it's God. At least, it fits my definition.
-And professionally?
-I'm not sure. It started with Gibarian. He locked himself in his room and refused to talk except through a crack in the door. He covered the video lens. Obviously we thought he was having a nervous breakdown. I don't know why he didn't tell us he had somebody in there. By this time, we were getting visitors, too. He was desperately trying to
-My wife.
-She has materialized from your memory of her. What was her name?
-Rheya.
-It started about three months ago. Right after the government sold the expedition. We were ready to go home.
-Will she come back?
-Probably.
-I wish you'd told me.
-What will you say?
-To who?
-What are you going to report back to Earth?
-I don't know.
-An enormous amount of money changed hands to get control of this project. We are in little danger of being left alone for long. You'll need to do something. Otherwise they'll be sending someone out to recover you.
-Gibarian said he thinks Solaris should be destroyed.
-Kelvin, you awake?
-What is it?
-Can you meet me and Sartorius on B deck in an hour?
-Why?
-Is it being deliberately cruel, you mean? I don't think so.
-I'm just trying to find an explanation for the continual reappearances.
-You're unnerved because you've spent your whole life thinking nobody is looking over you, and suddenly your subconscious is an open book. We are, for the first time, experiencing changes in natural reality by a force not our own. That proves that --
--- we are not sure of that. We are not sure we aren't all hallucinating.
-If God is beyond our comprehension, and she -- -- is here for reasons that can't be understood, isn't God here?
-Not necessarily.
-Stop equivocating! Unbelievable, how you equivocate! You, the atheist, you're more dogmatic than any holy person I've ever seen! This is happening, Kelvin. Wake up.
-Consciousness is enough, that's all I've saying. Consciousness should be enough for anybody.
-We can liquidate the station. Take the Athena back.
-No.
-Of course, when we return, we'll be regarded as lunatics if we tell the truth. We'll chalk it up to isolation, collective derangement.
-I've never heard you express any desire to leave before now. Why now?
-Well, I think we're reaching the point of diminishing returns here, right? Certainly it's learning more about us than we'll ever learn about it.
-But why is it doing what it's doing? Given it's resources, it could have done anything. Presented me with your double, and you with mine.
-Perhaps it did.
-Human beings can die.
-They come when you sleep.
-What happened?
-Why do you think she hasn't suggested that? It's the most obvious solution: Escape. She knows she can't leave here --
-Get out --
-She knows everything. She knows who she is.
-She knows everything? Does she know she came once before and you put her in --
-What do you want?
-I want you to get Sartorius to abandon his plan.
-What plan?
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-Just get him to stop.
-What do you want to do, leave the station with her?
-Yes.
-Kelvin, she'll disintegrate. You don't believe me? Let's radio that shuttle pod you launched -- better yet, let's go get it. I've charted it's trajectory, only take a few hours...
-Her oxygen would have run out.
-Who are you trying to please? Yourself? Her? Which her, this one or that one. Can you face both? We are in a situation that is beyond morality. So: Leave with her. You'll see the transformation.
-Into what?
-You'll see her die, that's all. They're mortal, despite what she told you. She will die. Then what will you do?
-I love her.
-What's wrong with you? We need your help.
-When did this happen?
-Oh, right away. That's why you never saw me with anyone. You should've noticed that. I miss him, though. I think I made a mistake.
-Jesus...
-But I can't leave with you. I won't make it.
-Oh, God. I'm awake.
-I need to see Snow.
-I'll go with you.
-Don't.
-Why?
-I don't know. I can't be alone.
-What are they?
-To calm your anxiety.
-We're taking a flight?
-Rheya...
-"And Death Shall Have No Dominion".
-Book?
-Poem. Dylan Thomas. I thought of it when I saw you on the train.
-Not a very happy poem.
-You didn't look very happy.
-I wasn't.
-And tonight?
-You want to fuck her?
-Stop it.
-You behave as though you want to fuck her.
-Rheya. Not here.
-And I just want to know if I'm crazy or not -- if what I think is happening is actually happening. Or am I one of those people, those women, who are blind to what's going on? Who pretend not to see their husband's attention toward another woman?
-Let's go home.
-You go home.
-I am. Please come with me. I don't want to do this here.
-You're better when you take them.
-I know, I know. But still, somehow I don't feel better.
-What do you remember?
-What do you mean?
-Do you remember Beethoven? The Beatles? Movies, books, restaurants, friends?
-Is it a planet?
-Not exactly. It exists in a continuum that wasn't proven until ten years ago, a higher mathematical dimension superimposed on top of the Universe. An infinite number of them, in fact. It was a violation of all of our various laws regarding the Universe, Space, or Space-Time. It was completely counter-intuitive. We had to unlearn everything.
-Is it intelligent?
-Intelligent beyond our comprehension.
-Then it's God, right?
-It's something.
-You still don't believe in God?
-The whole idea of God was dreamed up by a silly animal with a small brain called Man. Even the limits we put on it are human limits. It can do this, it can do that! It designs, it creates!
-Even a God that wasn't active, that just created something and stood back and watched?
-But what if Solaris is what there was before The Big Bang?
-As I said, it is beyond our comprehension.
-What happened?
-You were trying to break down the door. Do you know why?
-Where've you been?
-I would have these -- I don't know how to describe them -- visions, when I was younger. Maybe not visions, but like these waking dream states. Time would just collapse, I would be inside time. I would stare at a second hand on a clock until it stopped. Freaky stuff.
-How old were you?
-Seven, eight. So one day my mother catches me sort of staring off into space, and she asks me what I'm doing, and I start trying to explain to her, about this state that I can put myself in, and this look comes over her face.
-Scared. No, not scared. Wary. Like I was something to be... her guard went up. I was a threat. Now I know why. She was afraid she'd be seen. That I would see her for the self-obsessed neurotic that she was. I think she thought she had a few more years of being on a pedestal. But that's the cycle, right? I knew a
-Thinking what you were doing and saying, just being consumed by thinking of you. I loved it so much, that feeling.
-What happened to us, exactly?
-Why did you say those things?
-I can't help feeling that I'm cheating when I take them.
-Do you have any idea how much I like fucking you?
-I think so.
-I like that too.
-How could she not be real? I can smell her, taste her. She does exactly what she did... it's not possible.
-You sure say "God" a lot when we're doing it.
-What does Snow think you should do?
-Sartorius wants to destroy it.
-Well. He doesn't think it's God, but for different reasons than me. He's thinking: If I can figure out how to make it stop, than I am smarter than it is, and therefore it cannot be God.
-He has a point.
-He does have a point. That's just not the way I'd like to see it proven.
-You feel sorry for Solaris, or for me?
-It's a violent response to something we haven't figured out. Don't let the cowardly demeanor fool you: He is ruthless. Unblinking in his prejudice.
-Do I really feel like... I am...?
-Yes. Yes.
-What's wrong.
-You don't love me.
-What are you talking about?
-Who have you been talking to?
-Sartorius.
-I'm sure there are worse people to talk to, but I don't know who they are.
-But we fought.
-Yes. Especially toward the end.
-Why did she do it?
-You... she said I didn't love her.
-Was she right?
-No. I love you.
-Can you sleep?
-I don't think do. It's not sleep; it's something else. It's all around me.
-You're the coward.
-Don't debate him; he'll say anything.
-You don't want me.
-Rheya.
-That's what you were saying. I heard what you were saying.
-I have these strange thoughts, I don't know where they come from. I can't explain it.
-Neither can I. Not any of it. There's no reference point for what's going on; it's never happened before. It's a clean break in the fabric of the Universe; a gap. There is nothing to do but experience it, moment-to- moment, and not let it destroy us.
-But that's what happened before.
-Do you want to stay here?
-Do you?
-What's wrong?
-Gibarian. He was here.
-You said he was dead.
-What's happening to us?
-It's all right.
-Please don't lie. I told you before, I don't know how I came to be here. Whatever you think you can't say to me, I need to hear you say it.
-I love you.
-That won't happen again. We're different.
-How could it be so cruel? How could it torture us like this?
-I'm not Rheya. You've always known that.
-Rheya --
-Listen: I don't care about anything but the fact that you are here. You are her, you are Rheya.
-I'm disgusting.
-No.
-You're lying. I'm not human.
-Rheya, I am not going back. I'm staying here with you.
-Then you'll die.
-Don't do this. I am literally begging you not to do this. Chris.
-You should have told me.
-It wouldn't have made any difference.
-Thank you.
-Chris, I had to. I had to. I didn't think you'd react like this.
-Neither did I.
-You never said you wanted one.
-I never said I didn't.
-Chris --
-I can't stay here.
-Chris, please. Chris, I'm serious. I won't make it.
-What do I have to do to stop it?
-I want you here.
-You're lying.
-You exist here. I keep telling you.
-That's impossible. I'm not Rheya.
-Who are you, then?
-I... I am Rheya. But I am not the woman you loved ten years ago.
-Yes, you are --
-Did you hear what Gibarian said? I'm not a human being. I'm an instrument. I came from your memory and your imagination and I will torture you no matter what. Even if I remain passive. That's when I drank the... I was going mad. It felt like there was no body underneath my skin. There was something else. An illusion. But I could feel
-Yes. I told you. It was exactly like mine.
-Is that really what you want?
-I want to stop taking those pills.
-I wish you wouldn't.
-They do something to me. It's hard to think straight.
-I think they help.
-I have consciousness, but I am not mortal. Don't you see why I'm going crazy?
-You have to remember that I love you, that's all that matters --
-I can't --
-It put you here. I'll admit it, it acted like a God and put you here, put you into my consciousness. I was asleep, and it put you into my dream. I saw your mouth. And there you were. Whether you've been sent here to make me happy or punish me, it doesn't matter. The decision we make now is all that matters. Stay
-Am I really her?
-What are you taking?
-What does it want?
-I've decided that if it is God, it's a sick God. Its ambitions exceed its powers, but it doesn't realize it. It's created a situation without a goal, and I hate that. A God whose passion is not a redemption, who saves nothing, fulfills no purpose. And us? We would have to have "an arrangement". An unspoken understanding that I am not human. How
-Where did you go before?
-When?
-Last night. You were talking to someone in the corridor.
-How can you be here...
-He won't do it.
-Why do you say that?
-We thought you'd be alone. We want to talk about...
-They are not autonomous individuals and they're not actual persons. They are projections materializing from our minds, based on a given individual.
-A recoil, with no compensating mechanism.
-And when a given situation no longer corresponds to the normal faculties of the... original, the visitor suffers some sort of disconnected consciousness.
-Followed by non-human manifestations.
-Gibarian was under enormous --
-Snow, get up here, now.
-I got rid of him. I wanted to see if... I wanted to be the only one. I wanted to be Snow.
-You want it coming back with us?
-Claire!
-Skiddy and Kit? I haven't seen them since that shitty pasta dinner on the cape.
-They've got two monsters now. Both boys.
-And so what's with Steinhart? Is it serious?
-You didn't like him?
-Looks a little constipated to me.
-It's terrific Win.
-You still writing the occasional magazine article?
-Occasionally.
-I've never seen anyone killed before.
-Straight ahead.
-Hi.
-I'm sorry. I'm not sure how this works. I have to go out... is that all right?
-Uh...
-I have to pick something up before Bergdorf's closes, then stop at a reception just a few blocks away.
-I think, maybe, that isn't such a great idea...
-Lieutenant Garber said that in all likelihood there was no real danger, is that true?
-Right. That's true.
-Can we go then?
-I'm supposed to call in.
-Do you have another tie? Something more conservative?
-What did he say?
-You live in Manhattan?
-Queens... You know Queens?
-I'm supposed to speak at their tenth anniversary.
-Are you nervous?
-Would you pick one out, please?
-Beg pardon?
-Put it on my account, please.
-You can touch me, I won't bite.
-People think I'm stepping out on Neil. We're causing quite a scandal.
-Hey! There are crazy people here.
-Let's get a drink.
-I'll have a spritzer, order something soft for yourself... I must go for a pee.
-I'll come with you.
-Hi. Just checking to see if you're here.
-You all right?
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry about what happened.
-Listen, that was my fault.
-I shouldn't have listened to you, I should've followed you right into the "can" the way he did.
-I guess I'm supposed to do it in the morning. Identify him.
-Sooner, the better.
-He said he'd kill me.
-Big talk... Desperate guy.
-Claire?
-Hmm...
-You wouldn't happen to know what language they speak in India, do you?
-Urdu and Hindi.
-Didn't do very well, did you?
-Nope... never finished one yet. I hate these things.
-You were reading my Renoir.
-How did you know?
-You put it back in the wrong place... Do you like Renoir?
-They're kind of fuzzy.
-You know why they're like that...? He was myopic... going blind.
-So, this could be your last night, huh?
-Could be, I guess.
-Want to go out for a drink? I mean, we're both sitting here, and Joey Venza's in jail...
-You mean to tell me, a mugger would stay away from someone because they walked a certain way?
-That's the dumbest walk I ever saw!
-No, no seriously! There's a study done on this, you walk this way, the muggers are gonna single you out.
-And die laughing, because you're walking so stupid!
-Hey. This is my business. Do I tell you your business.
-... It was like... the minute I saw her... I knew. She looked so damn adorable in a cop's uniform... puttin' on a big, tough act...
-So it was "love".
-Yeah. It was.
-Yeah.
-That's nice. And you live in Queens? With a child, and a dog...?
-No dog.
-I saw you with a dog, in my mind.
-No dog.
-But "nice".
-What about Neil?
-You don't like him, do you?
-What's to like?
-Tell it like it is.
-You asked.
-He's very caring, in his way. You haven't seen him at his best.
-You could do better.
-It was nice having you "watch over me"...
-Good night, Mike.
-Claire?
-What do you want?
-Open the door, will you?
-I can't open it.
-You put me life in danger.
-No, you'll be safe. We're gonna pick him up again...
-You told me I'm safe? I'm going for a walk in the park.
-Claire, will you calm down?
-I'm perfectly calm, I'm a normal human being. I'm going for a walk in the park.
-Stop, will you?!
-Let go!
-Stop being nuts!
-I trusted you! I thought you cared about me?!
-I do care about you!
-Yeah.
-They called here after you left...
-I don't know you...
-This is me, Mike. There's nothing else...
-You don't wash your clothes at the Boulevard Laundromat... you don't pick up your kids from some crummy public school... what is this? A fuckin' joke?
-You told her?
-Not exactly.
-What do you want to do?
-You don't want to know.
-Oh, I do want to know. I tried to reach you at the precinct.
-I've moved into Scotty's... Good news about T.J., though. Looks like that tough son of a gun is gonna pull through.
-Oh God, that's great!
-Are you okay?
-I'm taking them all out to Queens, as a matter of fact, right in your neighborhood. There's an event at my Father's school... an anniversary... I thought maybe you could come...
-Oh that thing in Queens.
-Where?
-When can I see you?
-Oh yeah. When is it? This thing in Queens.
-Tomorrow night. Can you come?
-I don't know. It wouldn't be very smart.
-Claire...
-No really, it's okay, I've gotta go. I'm expecting some calls. I'll be fine, really.
-What a memory.
-Do you dance?
-Do you?
-Pretty bad.
-They guys treatin' you all right?
-Yeah.
-I've been doing a lot of thinking.
-It wouldn't work.
-I'd miss my life...
-How long you going away for?
-Long enough.
-"For"...?
-I'll have to pack a lot of clothes.
-... Mike.
-Claire!
-Everyone's all right...?
-So.
-You still going away?
-I don't know...
-You don't have to, now.
-I'll miss you, Mike.
-I like your coat.
-You have a weakness for Lady Cops.
-Say goodbye, Mike.
-Hello, Claire. How extraordinary that you came.
-It was something my father always liked me to do.
-You're planning to speak?
-Not if you don't want me to.
-Well, of course, we'd be... honored...
-... just saying you should think twice about it...
-... You know, and I know, that the only thing standing between a life sentence for Venza and his freedom is my testimony at his trial...
-Claire...
-... He killed Win... he enjoyed it...
-Win made his choices, Claire. We all do --
-You're dealing with a psychopath. He gets out of jail in ten years, or five... or ninety days, and you'll be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life...
-What am I supposed to do?! I saw one of my oldest friends get killed! And I saw who did it! I can't just -- "let it go away"!!
-Keep what handy?
-Nothing.
-We're not going to the game, are we Mom?
-Mom, what's going to happen with you and Dad?
-Hey, can we go to McDonald's?
-Tommy...!
-Think I should put the skateboard in bed with him?
-Ellie, you know I think it's about time we got outa this place, get us a house of our own. We can afford it now.
-Amen to that. The supermarket's full of assholes.
-Mike?
-What?
-My ass if falling.
-Your what...?
-My ass is falling. It is.
-What are you talking about?
-I just saw it in the mirror, it doesn't look like my ass anymore.
-Get in bed.
-What am I gonna do? I jog, I do the exercises on TV in the morning... gravity...
-Tomorrow, I start looking for our house... You love me?
-You got no idea...
-So how'd it go?
-For how long?
-Don't start... The only reason is that the neighborhood's shi... ... crummy. I just don't like the idea of leaving you alone here at night.
-I can still use a gun.
-Changing the sparks. They showed it on TV. What d'you think?
-I think television's a dangerous thing.
-Hey. The neighbors.
-I read the article. You didn't tell me she was so beautiful.
-Okay?
-The real estate lady left, she couldn't wait anymore. What took you?
-Oh, some shit.
-What shit, honey?
-Honey. You got him.
-I don't know that Ellie. He might get out. Garber's not bein' straight with the witness, she could be in deep shit if she identifies him, and it's my job to convince her she won't be.
-She's got to identify him.
-Why?
-Because the the only way to stop crime is to identify criminals. I can't believe you're talking this way Mister Detective -- I think she's got a lot of guts.
-I think -- she's crazy.
-I'd identify him.
-Oh I can see you've had a bad day. We'll see the house another time, okay?
-No! No! I'm sorry. Ninety-seven five right?
-Bought it.
-It's not your taste.
-What did she say the down payment was?
-She didn't like the other one, so she picked this one.
-She took you shopping for a tie?
-I had to follow her to a store.
-What's wrong with your paisley tie?
-Ellie, it was a formal party...
-Excuse me! You went to a party with her?
-I'm her bodyguard, goddamnit...
-I know you're her bodyguard. Did she buy it or did you?
-She bought it.
-Why?
-Coming to bed?
-Few minutes. Want to catch the news.
-Should I wait up? We've got to get up early for the beach tomorrow.
-What?
-Mike, take it easy...
-Take it easy! I set her up. I saw it coming.
-It's not your fault. Mike, please get off the case.
-It is my fault! I'm responsible for her!
-Did you hear what I said?
-I'm sorry. I know I heard noises... the detective's wife...
-C'mon, don't make an issue of it. Do you want the fucking meatloaf or not?
-D'you have to say "fucking" every other word?
-What was that?
-You heard me.
-Jesus, Mike, somebody's been feeding you a line of crap.
-What're you talking about --
-You gotta get another tour. We're gettin' too old for this.
-I'm sorry.
-What did you do tonight?
-I watched TV.
-What did you watch?
-Hey, we qualify for the Senior Citizens Early-Bird Special... Did you see Tommy today? He misses you...
-Well. This'll be over soon. Venza's such a nut job, we're bound to pick him up soon.
-I'd like you to switch to the day shift, Mike. To be home for dinner. Helen insists that T.J. be home for dinner... That's why he's on the morning shift.
-Well, T.J.'s... seniority... and all. I'll talk to Garber about it.
-I already did. I mean, I talked to his wife, and she talked to him...
-My wife talks to his wife about what shift I'm gonna take?
-Let me drive...
-Get away from me... get away! She means that much to you, you stay with her. But you come back, you come back for me. Not for Tommy, not for your mother, or your fucking job, but for me.
-I'm going to visit my sister for a few days. I'd like you to get your stuff out.
-What about Tommy?
-Was it Venza? Did you get him?
-Ellie...
-He doesn't want to sleep here. Neither do I. It's not my house anymore.
-I don't know how you did it, but whatever it was, keep doing it.
-I just sat and listened.
-Why not Patrol? They'd do just as good a job.
-What about when she goes out?
-But I got him! He's in jail! Wasn't that the point...?!
-You apprehended him after he gave himself up --
-It wasn't a bad bust. He gave himself up because he knew I was gonna nab him.
-Anyone who turns himself in makes a good case for bail.
-Even Joey Venza?!
-He's got a good lawyer, and he made a smart move. We've got a scared witness and a suspect who proved "good will" by turning himself in.
-What about when she identifies him?!
-They're operating on him. He's still alive.
-I heard a lot... Anything you want to deny, Mike?
-What do you think? Any chance? There's nothin' else I'm any good at, but this.
-At my house...!
-Let's go. We're takin' her home! Move it! Get the cars!
-Koontz! I need you guys!
-We'll call SWAT. We'll get the locals. Throw it!
-No One-Seventeen, they'll fuck it up! He told me not to tell anybody, to bring Claire and come alone! He won't wait, he knows I'm two minutes away! Koontz, please!
-Hey Mike, out of the bag into the bureau, huh... How do you like it so far?
-Who's Joey Venza?
-Shit! A Nursemaid! My first detail, and I'm a fuckin' slug! I got a 'choice' at all.
-Do it, or look for another profession. That's a choice I guess.
-You in this with me?
-Not Koontz.
-Wasn't your fault.
-Tell me I'm dreamin'.
-Uh, yeah. I'm a policeman.
-Ever shot anyone?
-Yes.
-Does it make you... hard?
-... Hard?
-Are you in charge here?
-No, sir...
-I asked for the man in charge...
-That would be Lieutenant Garber, and he's very busy upstairs...
-Don't tell me he's "busy". I asked for an ambulance for this woman and...
-You're not going to talk to anyone without a lawyer.
-She's not a suspect, sir, she's a witness. Could I ask you to step outside, please.
-No, I will not step outside.
-Sir, I am just trying to do my job, it's standard procedure to question the witness alone. Help me out here, could you please leave.
-You're here 'til what time?
-You made a terrible mistake, Keegan. You didn't do what I said.
-That's right, you're gonna do what I say. Joey. I want to help you out of this.
-You should'a brought the girl.
-Hold it...!
-How do I know that's her?
-I'll bring her in. You let them go, and I'll bring her in.
-Why should she come in?
-She trusts me. She'll do what I say.
-Bullshit! Prove it.
-I want your guarantee they'll be turned loose when she opens the front door.
-I get my hostage first. No one's turned loose until I say so.
-Let my kid go.
-I'm not lettin' no one go.
-Get that gun away from his head, or I'll keep her from coming in! Put the gun on me, he can't hurt you! He's tied up! Put him under the table!
-Don't you fuckin' give orders to me...
-Under the table.
-Watch your step!
-What're we having?
-My special, scrambled eggs surprise.
-How do you know where the gun is?
-I know where everything is.
-Except the goddamn skateboards, which are everywhere! I'd like to kill the guy who invented those things.
-Lay back, Mack.
-God! Scrambled eggs surprise?! These are pickles...! God!
-Nice threads Dad.
-How are things going, pal?
-Okay, I guess.
-How about dinner tonight?
-Mom and I got plans.
-What "plans?" You and Mom got "plans?"
-She's taking singing lessons.
-She's what?
-What! What kind of pathetic line is that?
-You coming in?
-No, I'm not coming in. And if you'd rather go to a "singing lesson" than have dinner with your father...
-We're not going to a singing lesson, she's just gonna start taking singing lessons.
-So, what are you doing tonight?
-Shooting.
-Shooting?
-Tommy! The guy's a sleaze-bag. She can't sing.
-I don't think she can sing, either.
-Sexual tension...
-Time to get my bowling ball re drilled.
-Well, look who's dressing for success.
-And Flash isn't?
-Peter-- you took this picture?
-Here you go, Pete.
-Uh, Uncle Ben, I--
-What, want a glass?
-So, uh... how's college goin'?
-Same old stuff. How's the pharmacy?
-Ah, ya know. Neighborhood's not what it used to be. Kid no more'n five swiped a candy bar the other day.
-You stop him?
-Wasn't worth gettin' upset over a Milky Way. Anyways, I was never much for, ya know, discipline.
-I know. Still thinking about retiring?
-Ya still follow the Mets, Pete?
-No not really.
-S'funny. When your mom and dad, uh, passed away, I had this idea. I wanted you to be the best baseball player in the world.
-Remember Little League?
-Ya set for, uh, ya know-- money?
-Oh, sure.
-Cause if you get in a bind--
-No, no.
-Yeah, ya like to do things on your own I been thinkin' lately. Maybe I wasn't the, ya know, greatest dad--
-Oh, come on, Ben ,that's not--
-When you won that scholarship, I was proud of you.
-I know.
-Yeah, take pity on the feeble minded.
-No, no, listen. They're tryin' to say he was in cahoots with this killer--
-Flash, drop it--
-I was there.
-See?
-Lizzy!
-I was sort of hoping to get out of--
-Hey, guys. Check it out-- I saw this dud on the tube last night. He is incredibly cool.
-Mistake? Hey, guy, get back here!
-Flash, get lost.
-You maniac. You'll blow your scholarship.
-What's in there?
-A little bunny I saved from dissection.
-Ooooh. Your feet are on fire.
-Harry
-"Harry Osborne diminishes the stature of the University."
-"Scholarship students must maintain dignity at all times."
-I know. I've got one too.
-Great idea. Let me get some shoes. I'll take you home.
-You're so responsible it's disgusting. But you're my only friend... do you hate me?
-Don't be pitiful.
-Jesus Christ.
-Mm-hmm.
-And you let me go on about Rosomoff working me too hard? I feel like a complete idiot.
-You get mugged or something?
-Listen, I do appreciate your concern, but--
-Oh, I need your notes from the classes I missed.
-Well, I've missed a lot of classes myself...
-Now tell me you love me.
-Lemme down, bugface!
-Are you okay?
-How are you doing, kid?
-Oh, look, Mr. Hogan, I'm really sorry about what happened in there. Really--
-You can be great, kid, just stick with it. But let me give you one little piece of advice... be a good guy.
-Too hip. Your photos suck, kid.
-Come on, that's pure luck! The guy was in the right place at the right time--
-You taking extension classes, Mr. Jameson?
-Parker-- you go here, right? Got your camera?
-Yeah--
-Get inside and get pictures. Fifty bucks.
-Can we make it a hundred?
-Can't focus...
-I bet you don't think I appreciate you, Parker. I do.
-Well, thanks. You wouldn't believe what I went through to get those. Right after you took my camera, this ambulan--
-I like enthusiasm. That's why I use a lot of smart-ass kids. Not just 'cause they work cheap.
-Mr. Jameson--
-I got a question, college boy. What the hell am I supposed to do with these!? I ask for disaster, pathos, what do I get? Salvador Dali! When I want artsy-fartsy double-exposures, I'll ask for--
-Double-exposures? But they're not-- I was in--
-I don't give a gerbil's ass how you got 'em! I can't print this surreal garbage!
-You print pictures of Bigfoot!
-Bunch of kids at your goddamned college say their appliances attacked them. Did you get pictures?
-Mr. Jameson--
-No! Washington Square, manhole covers turn into flying saucers and radios explode like A-bombs. Did you get pictures?
-Can I get a word in edgewise?
-Relax, Jameson. This is business. I know you want photos of me, so I'll give your boy Parker an exclusive. On one condition--
-I don't submit to blackmail! The first amendment protects my freedom to tell the news as I imagine it, and--
-Would you cool it already?
-Thank you. Now, repeat after me-- Spider-Man is a good guy. On the side of right, and niceness, and cute baby animals and all that.
-Frmpph-yrr.
-Oh, that? It'll come unstuck in a half-hour or so. Your mouth needs the rest. Bye.
-No refund on the mask, y'know. Health laws.
-Uh-huh. Look, this should be skintight. Bright colors. Red, maybe a deep midnight blue.
-What's this? A cockaroach?
-Eh. Week from tomorrow.
-How about tomorrow?
-You're making my life difficult.
-Two suits by tomorrow for $400?
-An even five I throw in the jacket.
-Is that bug juice, or are you just glad to see me?
-Sorry. I'm still getting the hang of this.
-I see. So, Amazing Spider-Man-- I'll assume that's not your given name--
-Just call me Spidey.
-Can I get you a snack-- a housefly, maybe?
-Thanks, I already ate.
-I'll hate myself in the morning for asking, but what exactly makes you any more amazing than the average jerk on the street?
-All right, amazing. Are you quite finished?
-Are you quite finished?
-He left. I couldn't believe it-- he just left! It's as if he's somewhere else... I'm only getting a piece of him.
-When Peter was little, he loved to hide. In closets, under the sink. He needed a secret place. But when I'd look for him, he'd laugh... he wanted to be found.
-Maybe I was hiding. For years, I never told Ben the one important thing.
-He knew.
-Some things you should say anyway.
-Even if they're not clever.
-Even if you've heard them a million times in every stupid pop song ever written.
-What if you get hurt?
-Good morning, Liz.
-How very dull, Peter Parker.
-It's never too early to be clever. Describe in a sentence how you feel about me.
-Huh?
-Fill in the blank: "I blank Elizabeth Allan."
-I-- uh--
-Uh is a good start.
-I lov-loathe Elizabeth Allan. Abhor, detest, despise--
-I hate the Platonic idea of you.
-I hate people with alliterative names.
-I hate--
-No. I was lying about the coffee.
--- but the dogs treed him between Huxley and Kafka.
-Poor Harry. Always desperate for attention. What about the bunny?
-He'll weasel out of trouble. Again.
-Maybe. I could have stopped it, though.
-My my.
-I suppose.
-You want to give them something, but they'll just buy more Ripple. And they smell so... bad.
-God, Flash can be such a jerk.
-But you like that in a man?
-You should write that one down.
-"Flash," Liz. You're going out with something that calls itself "Flash."
-Some prep school thing.
-Does it have a human name?
-Eugene. Admit it, Peter-- you'd do anything for a nickname like "Flash."
-I'd never admit that.
-What are you doing this weekend?
-I've gotta study.
-Eat alone, gotta read. Social defense tactic 17 Peter, that jacket is foul. Lose your glasses?
-Brrr. It's colder than New Hampshire in here.
-Don't misquote Othello at me. Besides, you'd have to care about somebody to strangle them.
-What's your problem?
-Sit down and stop being such a child.
-This from a girl who still plays with dolls.
-What's in the bag? Garbage?
-Sort of. I'm returning the-- that outfit that you hated so much. Maybe I can get my money back.
-Oh, don't do it on my account--
-No, it wasn't only you-- it -- it just wasn't my style. Hey, look-- let's go to lunch. Someplace nice for a change.
-This from a man who winces at the cost of a pretzel?
--- but at least Aunt May's okay now. I really have to stop by the hospital this afternoon.
-Do you mind if I come too?
-They keep saying there's nothing I could've done. That's a lie. I could've done something. If only I'd paid attention to my feelings.
-You're not trained for that. None of us are... I mean, sometimes I... Okay, let's say you had gone back. What then? Are you bulletproof?
-Well, no.
-So? The next day I'd read, "Peter Parker murdered," and I'd feel...
-You'd feel what?
-Listen. You think you're responsible for everything that happens. Don't flagellate yourself - and don't flatter yourself, either. You're not the center of the universe. You're just... Peter.
-Am I? I'm not so sure. I used to be sure of a lot of things. Oh, different things from week to week, but now-- I'm not sure of anything anymore.
-Hello. Earth to Peter. Are you listening?
-I'm sorry about being a jerk this afternoon.
-May's much better. She'll be out soon.
-Oh, God, I forgot to--
-Ssh. I always thought she was a strong person. She is-- but not for the reasons I thought.
-Strong...
-Peter?
-Hello, Liz.
-Hello. So very boring. Peter Parker, how do you feel about me this morning?
-I... I like you. A lot.
-Hold it. Can we stop being clever, just for a moment?
-This may be the end of a beautiful friendship, you know.
-You were the last one to see Thorkel. In Octavius' hospital room.
-So you've found Thorkel?
-Octavius wasn't the murderer type.
-But you said he went off a little, after the accident, when those mechanical arms--
-Waldos.
-Lieutenant, I've triangulated recent bizarre events-- the Bronx, Jersey, Brooklyn-- all rippling out from-- Here. The E.S.U. Science Center. Octavius' experiment seems to have opened a hole in space-time, drastically changing the interrelation between molecular binding, electromagnetism and gravity--
-Yeah, that's fascinating, but I'm just a fat, dumb cop lookin' for a psycho killer--
-Toxic dumps, huh.
-And he'll need a cyclotron. He can't use ours-- he's already destroyed it. Guard every nuclear accelerator on the Eastern Seaboard. New Haven, Long Island, two in Cambridge--
-You sure about all this?
-Of course.
-It's a lot of ground to cover. We'll try. Funny coincidence, huh?
-No such thing as coincidence. "God does not play dice with the universe."
-Einstein, right? We'll see ya.
-Yeah, Roz.
-Any sign of our friend?
-Roz? Rosomoff? What is it?
-There's nothing in there worth stealing!
-Aunt May, you're trespassing.
-When I moved out, you swore up and down you wouldn't meddle--
-I am old enough to--
---but I didn't feel like getting to know your roaches.
-I'll introduce you.
-Ick. And those foul chemicals in the pots--
-I'm a photographer, remember?
-It's Friday night...
-Yes. Do you have a date?
-The record--
-What the hell is that?
-Oh, not that. You promised you'd burn it.
-Absolutely no class.
-Funny thing happened after my physics class today. Harry Osborn--
-A match made in heaven.
-Peter, you're bleeding.
-It's fine. Tell me what--
-Oh, Ben gets through everything.
-Aunt May, what happened?
-I was napping on the couch. There was a voice and a shot. I woke up. Ben was looking at me.
-How is he?
-Poison emergency.
-Hi. I've got sort of a hypothetical question. Do you suppose the bite of a radioactive spider would transmit that spider's proportional strength and agility?
-Is this some sort of Zen thing?
-I mean, I suddenly have immense physical power, and the ability to crawl up walls--
-Do ya? Lemme give you the number for Bellevue. That's 561-5151--
-Ha. Anti-gravitational particles.
-Power down. I need to talk to you.
-Proof. Proof of a unified field. Not just theory and equations-- experimental proof.
-In this obsolete little cyclotron, I'm solving the greatest physics problem of the 20th Century. With more power, I could--
-Then the alumni reports came in-- fund-raising is down this year.
-What you've done is make the entire physics department look foolish. You compare yourself to Einstein; your colleagues compare you to Bozo the Clown.
-You've used up your grant. The electric bills alone exceed your annual salary. Not to mention the potential hazards of your radioactive fuel.
-That Nobel Prize will just have to wait.
-Then you'll be glad to know the University has decided not to press criminal charges against you. Breaking and entering the minor matter of the total destruction of a 23 million dollar cyclotron
-I will finish what I've begun
-Otto, I don't like Thorkel any more than you do. But he has got a point.
-Rosomoff, I have better things to do than teach Introductory Physics to mindless adolescents.
-No. No thank you. I have work.
-I heard about Thorkel's order--
-A bit melodramatic but if you could prove it that would tie in your unified field theory, the Big Bang, Kaluza-Klein--
-My self. I don't matter. This human life, all life- insignificant. Bodies-- bags of sleepy, sluggish flesh.
-All right, we may be insignificant, imperfect creatures-- but we're all we've got.
-Creation? Or its opposite?
-Otto, we are mere mortals. You must never forget your own limits--
-I'll repeat the experiment. I will hold the truth. That's the only thing that matters.
-Life and death matter. Yours-- everyone's. By comparison, our search for truth is only a product of curiosity, a game--
-My God, Otto, you have to hear me! The world we know will collapse! Everything we have devoted our lives to-- all patterns, all harmonies-- will be destroyed!
-Truth. Truth alone exists. Truth must be released...
-Mr. Parker.
-Peter, what can I do for you?
-An extension on that astronomy paper? Because, uh...
-Your dog ate it.
-Actually, I got this spider bite
-Pretty lame for such a smart kid.
-Fortean phenomena. Anomalies in our so-called reality. Weirdness, my boy, and lots of it.
-Caused by Doc Ock's experiment?
-How much do you know about it?
-Not a lot. I saw inside of the Science Center. What exactly happened?
-Need any more help?
-This photo you took of "Spider-Man" -
-Luck. The right place at the right time.
-Really. I'd like to speak with him.
-I don't think I'll be running into him.
-You never know. Go get some sleep.
-The paper, my boy. A solid B-plus.
-Oh. Yeah. Thanks.
-Kid, you were terrific. Max Reiss, novelty acts. Was that judo or something? Ah, skip it. Question is, can you do it again?
-Hello, uh, Mr. Reiss? I'm-- I'm the guy who wrestled Hulk Hogan the other day. The guy in the mask?
-I was hoping you'd call, babe. Look, you got representation?
-No
-Good. We'll make it oral for now. Meet me at Rockefeller Center at six tonight.
-Why? It is a wrestling match, or
-Where'd you get the clown suit?
-Like it?
-So they're airing this tonight?
-... a couple a drinks at Sardi's?
-What?
-I asked if you felt like a drink--
-No. No, I-- my aunt and uncle. Something's wrong -- I need to make a phone call.
-Mr. Reiss-- I need a quarter--
-I sent for the police. We can explain.
-Explain that some jerk in a mask and costume fought a mad scientist with four tentacles?
-You're sure you're all right.
-Yeah, just a lung full of New Jersey. Lucky you showed up when you did.
-Logic. Lot 49 is the closest stockpile of SL 270-- I do feel foolish talking with a man dressed like a--
-Imagine how I feel.
-Excuse me if I'm impertinent, but-- how did you become whatever it is you are?
-The usual. Heredity and environment. What's the deal with Doc Ock?
-He'll try to finish his experiment.
-And blow up the universe just to prove he's right? Bit egotistical, isn't it?
-A messianic complex is nothing new to Octavius. In his universe, there's only one mind-- his own. It must be very lonely.
-I listened to him talk of eternal truth and thought of the Bhagavad Gita, the Indian holy book-- "I am become Shiva, Death-- the destroyer of worlds." Octavius was...
-Bonkers.
-Loonytunes. And yet...
-Do you... live around here?
-No, but I've got this secret identity to worry about. I'll swing the rest of the way.
-I see. Well, Octavius won't get much further. They'll catch him and... put him away. Sad. He might very well have the truth.
-Spider-Man, be careful! He's quite mad.
-Professor, you ever fly one of these things before?
-Up here, Docky Ocky!
-Don't let him kid you. Cagney couldn't have pulled a sweeter job. All right, boys. We were waiting in the depot in Frankfurt, see? And there was an ammunition train coming through, the longest ammunition train you ever saw, see? So Dunbar gets himself in the men's room, see? Fixes himself a time bomb, busts open the window and just as the train moves
-I wouldn't talk about things like that.
-They never caught on.
-What's wrong with him?
-How did he ever find out about that ammunition train?
-You must have shot off your mouth all the way from Frankfurt to here.
-Jawohl.
-Is you all good Nazis?
-Jawohl.
-Is you all little Adolfs?
-Jawohl!
-Maybe just a hint or so. Think hard.
-We made a deal with Barrack One.
-Any news on Dunbar?
-Do Cagney. Like you did yesterday.
-There was that ammunition train in the depot at Frankfurt, see? So Dunbar gets himself in the men's room and fixes a time bomb, see? Then he waits until the train starts moving out, see? And one of the cars got the door open with some straw on the floor, see? So he throws it, see, and three minutes later -- voom! See?
-Throws what? How could he have a time bomb?
-Just pulled the old match gag, see!
-What's the match gag?
-Where's Hoffy? Why don't we get any news about Dunbar?
-Don't worry. He'll be all right.
-I had to be the ham! I had to shoot off my mouth!
-They ought to be under the barbed wire soon.
-Come on!
-Ready?
-Roger.
-Three's a crowd, especially if you've got to cut your way through barbed wire. Here's the wire cutters. Are the civilian clothes ready?
-Coming up.
-W-w-will that do or do you want some m-m-m --?
-There's only one pair left.
-What's the matter? You on their team now? You think I'm the guy?
-I understand how you feel, Cookie. It's sort of rough -- one American squealing on other Americans. Then again, Cookie -- maybe that stoolie's not an American at all. Maybe he's a German the Krauts planted in this barracks. They do this type of thing. Just put an agent in with us -- a trained specialist. Lots of loose information floating around a prison
-In this barracks?
-Why not? Just one of the boys. Sharing our bunks. Eating our chow. Right in amongst the ones that beat me up. Except that he beat hardest.
-Who is it?
-That's not the point, Cookie. The point is what do you do with him? You tip your mitt and the Jerries pull him out of here and plant him someplace else, like Stalag Sixteen or Fifteen. Or you kill him off and the Krauts turn around and kill off the whole barracks. Every one of us. So what do you do?
-If you don't want to tell me, why don't you tell Hoffy? Or Security?
-So long, Cookie. The department store is all yours. What's left of it.
-Now what kind of a crack is that?
-Hold it, Sefton. So we heard some shots -- so who says they didn't get away?
-Private property, bub.
-Come on, Trader Horn! Let's hear it: what'd you give the Krauts for that egg?
-Nice guy! The Krauts shoot Manfredi and Johnson last night and today he's out trading with them.
-What's your beef, boys? So I'm trading. Everybody here is trading. Only maybe I trade a little sharper. So that makes me a collaborator.
-A lot sharper, Sefton! I'd like to have some of that loot you got in those footlockers!
-You would, would you? Listen, Stupe -- the first week I was in this joint somebody stole my Red Cross package, my blanket and my left shoe. Well, I wised up since. This ain't no Salvation Army -- this is everybody for himself. Dog eat dog.
-Static is right! The radio's static, Patton's static, we're static!
-I suppose they also know about your distillery and the horseraces?
-That's right.
-Just what makes you and them Krauts so buddy-buddy?
-I grease the Kraut guards. With ten percent of the take.
-And maybe a little something else?
-Yeah, what about it? Cut the horsing around. We know he's the stoolie and we know what the pay- off is. Let's get on with it.
-Let's get on with what? What is this anyway? A Kangaroo Court? Why don't you get a rope and do it right?
-You make my mouth water.
-What are you looking at him for? Any objections, Sefton?
-Next we're going to auction off your department store -- and your stable.
-Have a cigar.
-I wouldn't worry about Schulz. I'd worry about Sefton. Remember me? I'm the stoolie.
-You ain't going to squeal this one, brother.
-Here's the knife to do it with. Only make sure you got the right throat.
-Brother, were we all wet about you!
-Put me down for ten, you louse.
-Don't ask me. Price was elected Security.
-Come again?
-Break it off!
-How much more do we have to take from him?
-How did he get over there?
-The S.S. Men are here to pick up Dunbar. They're taking him to Berlin. Looks like he's finished.
-Then we're all in on it?
-You killed them, huh? Both of them?
-Such nice boys! It makes me sick to --
-Cut out the guff, Schulz. We're on to you. You know everything that's happening in this barrack. Who's tipping you off?
-Come on, Schulz! Spill it! How did you get the information? About Manfredi and Johnson? About the stove and the tunnel? Who's giving it to you? Which one of us is it?
-That's the general idea. Only it's not so general as far as I'm concerned.
-Lieutenant Dunbar? It wouldn't be James Schuyler Dunbar? From Boston?
-Maybe he would. We applied for Officers' Training together, remember? They turned me down, but I'm glad to see you made it. Of course, it couldn't be that all that dough behind you had something to do with it! His mother's got twenty million dollars.
-Twenty-five.
-What did you expect, glamor boy? The Officers' Club with a steam room and a massage maybe?
-Just a minute. You made a couple of cracks before and I let them slide. But I don't intend to take any more. If you resent my having money, start a revolution, but get off my back.
-Shut off the moaning, or we'll have the dogs on us. Shut it off, Lieutenant. This is orders!
-My legs are frozen.
-You'd better get that blue blood circulating, because we're busting out of this stink-hole in exactly -- -- one minute and twenty seconds.
-Sefton!
-What did you expect, a St. Bernard dog?
-Not you.
-What some brandy?
-Yeah.
-Who doesn't! Suppose we wait until we hit the Waldorf Astoria.
-It's on me.
-You won't get off that cheap.
-What are the chances busting out of here?
-Let's blow, Chauncey.
-I am Lieutenant Dunbar.
-What is your number?
-105-353.
-That is correct. Lieutenant Dunbar, I came to apologize for the accommodations. Ordinarily, of course, we never put officers up with enlisted men.
-I'll live.
-Quite a transportation jam we are having outside of Frankfurt! They are very angry in Berlin. They will be even angrier on the East Front, waiting for that ammunition train. Don't you think so, Lieutenant?
-I don't know what you're talking about, Colonel.
-Of course you don't. Now, Lieutenant, how would you like to join me in my quarters? I have a nice fire going.
-I'm okay here. Why bother?
-No bother. I'm very grateful for a little company. You see, I suffer from insomnia.
-Ever try forty sleeping pills?
-You have no idea how boring my life here is. If it weren't for an occasional air raid or some foolish prisoners trying to escape, I wouldn't know what to do. I want to thank you for keeping me company. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't read. I hate music. That only leaves good conversation. It will be a shame to lose
-I didn't do it -- I didn't do it.
-You are being rude again.
-I want to sleep. Give me five minutes on that couch.
-Nine-thirty. General von Pfeffinger should be at his desk by now. Shall we call Berlin and tell him the good news?
-There will be two S.S. men here tomorrow to take you to Berlin. You will be interrogated by the General Staff. When you come to the part about your arrest, I'm sure you won't forget to give me the proper credit.
-I want to sleep... I haven't slept for three days.
-I didn't do it. I was in the Frankfurt station and the train was three miles away when it blew up.
-Oh, come now! You threw a time bomb.
-Here we have a typical barrack. It houses seventy-five men. Every one of them has his own bunk, naturally.
-Naturally. It would be rather awkward to have three men in one bunk.
-As for the blankets, you will notice they are very warm. Fifty percent wool.
-What do you do for heat in this barrack? No stove?
-The men here used it for a trap door, so we had to remove it temporarily.
-Well, Herr Inspector! How did you find the camp? Crowded but gemuetlich, shall we say?
-I want to talk about Lieutenant Dunbar. Is this Lieutenant Dunbar?
-It is.
-What exactly is he charged with?
-Whatever it is, it's out of your jurisdiction. This man is not a prisoner of war. Not any more. He is a saboteur.
-And the way you search your prisoners, it does sound rather unlikely.
-All I know is he did it. I am satisfied.
-You were saying --?
-Simply this. After the hostilities are ended, there will be such a thing as a War Crimes Commission. If this man should be convicted without proper proof, you will be held responsible, Colonel von Scherbach.
-Interesting.
-Very well. If you insist on details. I have ways of finding out about that blasted time bomb. Good day, sir. You will forgive me for receiving you like this?
-Aufstehen, gentlemen! Please! You do not want to stay in bed on such a beautiful morning we are having today!
-Say, Schulz --
-Jawohl?
-Sprechen Sie deutsch?
-Jawohl.
-Then droppen Sie dead!
-Jawohl!
-Wisecrackers? Where did he pick up his English? In a pretzel factory?
-You always think I am a square. I have been to America. I wrestled in Milwaukee and St. Louis and Cincinnati. And I will go back! The way the war is going I will be there before you!
-Hey, Schulz! I got a deal for you. Suppose you help us escape. We'll go home and have everything ready for you in Madison Square Garden. For the world championship! Schulz, the Beast of Bavaria versus Halitosis Jones!
-Why don't we accept, Animal? The worst that can happen is we wind up a couple of lamp shades.
-What is this? This is water?
-It's a mouse trap.
-When you get going on those broads, think of me!
-Shut up, Animal!
-Good morning, Animal! What'll it be for breakfast? Scrambled eggs with little sausages? Bacon and eggs sunny- side up? Griddle cakes? A waffle?
-Stop it, Harry!
-Coffee? Milk? Or how about a little cocoa?
-Why do you do this to me every morning?
-I'll kill you, Harry -- so help me!
-'We will remove the iron stove -- the one that was camouflaging the trap door.'
-I'm telling you, Animal, these Nazis ain't Kosher.
-You can say that again!
-I'm telling you, Animal -- these Nazis ain't Ko --
-Hey -- Russki -- Russki! Look at those bublichkis! Over here!
-Look at me! I'm your baby! Get a load of that blonde one! Built like a brick Kremlin!
-Hey -- Comrade! Over here! This is Harry Shapiro -- the Volga Boatman of Barrack four!
-Let me go! Let me go!
-It's chow, Animal! Chow!
-Who wants to eat? I just wanna get over there!
-No you don't! You don't want any broads with boots on!
-I don't care if they wear galoshes!
-You want Betty Grable!
-Let me go!
-Animal! When the war's over, remember I told you I'd fix you up with Betty Grable!
-Yeah? How you going to fix me up with Betty Grable?
-How? We go to California. I got a cousin that's working for the Los Angeles Gas Company. That's how we get the address, see? Isn't that clever? I take you up to her house and ring the doorbell and say, 'Congratulations, Miss Grable. We have voted you the girl we'd most like to be behind barbed wire with, and I'm here to present the
-What's the award?
-What d'ya think, jerko! You're the award!
-Me? What if she don't want me?
-If she don't want you, she don't get anything.
-You're teasing me again!
-No, Animal.
-No?
-Easy, Animal! Easy!
-Don't you remember, Animal? A chicken lays those things.
-Thanks. You're a real pal! What're we goin' to do with it?
-Ain't that too bad! Tomorrow he'll have to suck a raw egg!
-Wunderbar! Isn't he wunderbar!
-Equipoise! Equipoise! What did I tell you, Animal?
-Schnickelfritz! I told you Schnickelfritz! Why'd you make me bet on Equipoise!
-I clocked him this morning. He was running like a doll.
-Look at her! Isn't she beautiful! Married an orchestra leader!
-So what? There's other women!
-Not for me! Betty! Betty!
-Cut it out. Animal! I'll fix you up with a couple of those Russian women!
-You'll fix me up!
-Sure, Animal! I'll get you over there!
-How? Pinky Miller from Barrack 8 tried to get over there and they shot him in the leg!
-It takes a gimmick, Animal, and I figured us a little gimmick.
-You did?
-To the Brick Kremlin!
-She'll never forgive me!
-Harry -- I'm blind!
-What do those broads say?
-What do they always say?
-That's what I wanna hear.
-Hey! This is with a typewriter! It's from a finance company!
-So it is from the finance company. So it's better than no letter at all. So they want the third payment on the Plymouth. So they want the fourth, the fifth, the sixth and the seventh. So they want the Plymouth.
-Sugar-lips Shapiro! Frightening, ain't it?
-That Schulz pig. I'll get him yet.
-Why don't we just look in those footlockers?
-Grable, not Gable!
-Do Grable.
-There, Joey -- ain't that better than being a lawyer?
-I'll open mine now.
-Come on, Animal -- let's trip the light fantastic!
-Let me alone.
-You're crying, Animal.
-It's that song, Harry!
-You don't want to cry over a dame that doesn't even know you're alive! Snap out of it!
-May I have this dance, Miss?
-But it's not just those legs. It's that nose of yours I'm crazy about. That cute little button of a nose!
-Hey, Animal! Animal!
-I've been crazy about you for years. I've seen every picture you've ever made six times. I'd just sit there and never even open that popcorn bag.
-Betty! Betty!
-Let me do it, Hoffy.
-You want to go?
-Sergeant Hoffman from Barrack 4.
-Yes, Sergeant Hoffman?
-As the duly elected Compound Chief, I protest the way these bodies are left lying in the mud.
-Anything else?
-Yes. According to the Geneva Convention, dead prisoners are to be given a decent burial.
-Good evening, Sergeants. A bit dank in here, isn't it?... Where is the Baracken-Fuehrer?
-Yes, sir.
-...a Lieutenant James Dunbar?
-Wait a minute. We have some rights here. Why is this man being taken out?
-Look -- if you don't like the way I'm handling this job --
-Don't worry. We'll take care of it.
-You're wasting your time, Duke. Outside, everybody! Let's get it over with.
-Not yet.
-Cut the horseplay, Harry. What's the matter with you guys?
-It's not Schulz. It's that stoolie. Whoever he is, he's sure batting a thousand.
-What are you going to do?
-I don't know what your scheme is, but it sounds crazy.
-Maybe it's crazy, but it's better than having Dunbar dead.
-Just as you say, Hoffy. But wouldn't it be smarter if I went out and kept Schulz tied up?
-What about Schulz?
-No volunteers, Price. I said we're all in on it.
-We've all done a poor job of it.
-I still say this is my tag. Any objections, Hoffy?
-What do you say, Hoffy. We'll hit the air raid trenches and cut out in back of Barracks nine.
-You'd better cut out in back of the south latrine.
-Why the south latrine?
-Los, los. Dummkopf!
-Lay off, Schulz. He's got a sickness. He's krank.
-Sometimes I think he is fooling us with that crazy business.
-We know! We got them last year. Five minutes after the Geneva Man was gone, the blankets were gone.
-One more thing, gentlemen. The Kommandant told me to pick up the radio.
-What radio?
-You must get out. For your own good, you must get out.
-Stay out of it, Sefton.
-Anybody call?
-If I were you, Sefton, I'd eat that egg some place else. Like for instance under the barrack.
-If you can't get the BBC, how about getting Guy Lombardo?
-What's the big idea, Sefton? Take that telescope out of here.
-Says who?
-Says me.
-You take it out. Only you're going to have a riot on your hands.
-Lay off, Sefton.
-With your mother's pull, how come you're not a chicken colonel by now?
-What's the matter, boys? Is my slip showing?
-I'll say it is. You spilled a little borscht on it.
-What happened, Cookie? Who did it?
-We did it.
-What's it add up to you, Sefton?
-You heard that, Sefton?
-You'll stay in this barracks and not a peep out of you.
-Okay, then. Put a guard on me. I want you to put a guard on me. Because if anything goes wrong out there, this time you won't have a patsy. Right?
-Right.
-So who stays with me? Maybe Joey? No -- not Joey. Wouldn't you feel safer with Security on the job?
-Two packs of cigarettes say Dunbar never gets out of the compound.
-You starting that again?
-Hurry up on that trap. What are you trying to do, Sefton? Gum up the works?
-That's right. Or would you rather see Dunbar lying out there in the mud tomorrow morning like Manfredi and Johnson?
-Look, Sefton, I had my hands full so they wouldn't tear you apart --
-How do they know?
-You told them, Hoffy.
-Who did?
-You did!
-You off your rocker?
-Go on.
-What are we going to do with him?
-You taking Dunbar?
-I told you boys I'm no escape artist, but for the first time, I like the odds. Because now I got me a decoy.
-What's the decoy?
-Price. When I go I want you to give me five minutes. Exactly five minutes to get Dunbar out of that water tank. Then you throw Price out into the compound, nice and loud. He'll draw every light from every goon tower. It's our only chance to cut through. What do you say, Barracks' Chief?
-You could use a new one yourself.
-Let's synchronize the watches. Eleven forty-two, sharp.
-Today's Camp News! Father Murray announces that due to local regulations the Christmas midnight Mass will be held at seven in the morning!
-You can tell Father Murray to --
-Pirelli. Coleman. Agnew. Shapiro.
-Nothing for Kuzawa?
-Shapiro. Shapiro.
-Yeah?
-Give this to Joey, will you?
-Now you've done it. You've given me nervous indigestion. Anything else bothering you, boys?
-Just one little thing. How come you were so sure Manfredi and Johnson wouldn't get out of the forest?
-And what's that crack supposed to mean?
-They're lying dead in the mud out there and I'm trying to find out how come.
-When the Krauts find that gadget they'll throw us all in the boob.
-So was the radio private property. So was Manfredi and Johnson.
-Or how about a game of pinochle? No, you're not a pinochle man. You're a chess player. I haven't played since I was a kid. Let's see -- -- a pawn moves this way, doesn't it? And a bishop this way? And the queen -- every which way, doesn't it?
-Suppose you just sit down and keep your mouth shut.
-I went to school with a guy named Price. But that was in Boston. You're from Cleveland, aren't you.
-Yes, I'm from Cleveland.
-I thought that's what you said. You're from Cleveland. And you were with the Thirty-sixth Bomb Group?
-Thirty-fifth.
-Three hundred and sixty-fifth Bomb Squadron? Out of Chelveston?
-Are you questioning me?
-Just getting acquainted. Trying to make one friend in this barracks.
-Don't bother, Sefton. I don't like you. I never did and I never will.
-Ach so!
-What did you say?
-Stop that, will you! Those idiots! So they sprang Dunbar! So what good is it? He's still in the compound, isn't he? How long can he last? Where can they hide him?
-Are we going to stand around here and listen to him until the Germans find out where Dunbar is?
-No. I don't sprechen sie deutsch.
-Maybe just one word? Kaput? Because you're kaput, Price.
-Will you get this guy out of my hair so I can go?
-Go where? To the Kommandant's office and tell him where Dunbar is?
-I'll kill you for that!
-Shut up! Security Officer, eh? Screening everybody, only who screened you? Great American hero. From Cleveland, Ohio! Enlisted right after Pearl Harbor! When was Pearl Harbor, Price? Or, don't you know?
-December seventh, forty-one.
-What time?
-Six o'clock. I was having dinner.
-The what?
-Say, Schulz -- you guys had machine gun practice last night?
-Let us see. We have now two empty bunks here. Nummer einundsiebzig und Nummer dreiundsiebzig in Baracke vier.
-Suppose you let those mattresses cool off a little -- just out of decency?
-Which one of us is the informer?
-Schulz, you're off your nut!
-Give me the radio.
-We have no radio.
-Nun? Was ist? Haben Sie's herausgefunden?
-Ich weiss alles.
-Wie hat er's gemacht?
-Good morning, Sefton.
-Good morning, Schulz. And how's Mrs. Schulz? And all the little Schulzes?
-No use, Schulz. You might as well come clean. Why don't you just tell 'em it's me. Because I'm really the illegitimate son of Hitler. And after the Germans win the war you'll make me the Gauleiter of Zinzinnati.
-Du lieber Gott! How do you look? You had a fight?
-How would you like to give Frau Schulz a pair of silk stockings for Christmas?
-You should go and see the doctor. Maybe I can -- Silk stockings?
-Wunderbar! Maybe they are too wunderbar for my wife. But there is a piano teacher in the village --
-Three hundred cigarettes! What is it you want from me?
-Who's the guy, Schulz?
-What guy?
-The one you work with. Who is he? How do you do it?
-I do not want those cigarettes.
-I'll make it five hundred!
-You'd better talk, Schulz, because I'm going to find out with you or without you. Because I won't let go for a second. Because they'll have to kill me to stop me. So talk!
-Talk what? I do not know anything!
-What's the matter with you? You want to be killed?
-Hey, Schulz -- as long as you're going to move somebody in -- how about a couple of those Russian broads?
-Just get us a couple with big Glockenspiels.
-Did I interrupt something, gentlemen?
-Yeah. We were just passing out guns.
-This is me in Cincinnati.
-Who's the other wrestler? The one with the mustache?
-That is my wife.
-Look at all that meat. Isn't she the bitter end!
-All right, gentlemen! We will now all go outside for a little gymnastic and take some shovels and undig the tunnel which you digged.
-Why don't we just plug up that tunnel -- with the Kommandant on one end and you on the other.
-Gentlemen, tomorrow morning the Geneva Man is coming to inspect the camp whether we are living up to the International Convention. I am sure he will find we are treating you very well. You must not run around in your underwear. And take off the wash. The Kommandant wants all the barracks to be spic and also span.
-We'll put pink ribbons on the bedbugs.
-My grandmother's ear-muffs.
-From a chicken, bug-wit.
-Is it all right if we smell it?
-That wouldn't be the cigarettes you took us for last night?
-You must have been some tail gunner! Go ahead, Cookie.
-Have a nice time over there?
-So you're stuck with me, eh?
-You heard him.
-You're not disposing of those Russian broads?
-Toh-pak-cha=8A
-The Captain would make a much more valuable hostage.
-It's working.
-I thought he was the Chief Engineer.
-He is.
-Where is he now?
-Target their Bridge.
-Actually, Captain, your precise target area was thirty-five meters that way.
-Tomorrow I want to make a tri-elliptical jump. That's where you jump out over Northern China and make three complete orbits before you start re-entry.
-Captain=8A
-But that wasn't so long ago. It couldn't have been more than...
-Twelve years, sir.
-According to our information, the ribbon is a conflux of temporal energy which travels through our galaxy every 39.1 years
-Data?
-Guinan said Soran was trying to get back to the ribbon. If that's true, then there must be some connection with the Amargosa star.
-The star's destruction has had numerous astro-physical effects within this sector. However, none of them appear to have a connection to the energy ribbon.
-Give me a list of those effects. I want to know every single thing which has been altered or changed, no matter how insignificant.
-Data, are you all right?
-No, sir. I am finding it difficult to concentrate. I believe I am overwhelmed with feelings of remorse and regret concerning my actions on the observatory.
-What do you mean?
-Fear is a very difficult emotion to overcome. It's something we all have to learn to deal with.
-But I did not deal with it, sir. I let it prevent me from helping my friend. Does that make me a coward?
-No. And what you must try to avoid is becoming consumed by another emotion which I believe you're beginning to experience: guilt.
-According to our current information, the destruction of the Amargosa star has had the following effects in this sector: gamma emissions have increased by .05 percent, the starship Bozeman was forced to make a course correction, a research project on Gorik IV was halted due to increased neutrino particles, ambient magnetic fields have decreased by-
-Wait. The Bozeman,why did it change course?
-This is its current position.
-Courage is an emotion too, Data. Now, can you project the course of the ribbon?
-Now, you said the gravitational forces in this sector have been altered, could that also affect the course of the ribbon?
-He can't go to the ribbon, so he's trying to make the ribbon come to him. Data, is it going to pass near any M-Class planets?
-That's where he's going.
-It should be noted, sir, that the collapse of the Veridian star would produce a shock wave similar to the one we observed at Amargosa.
-Are any of them inhabited?
-Veridian III is uninhabited, but Veridian IV supports a pre-industrial humanoid society.
-Population?
-"Lifeforms tiny little lifeforms. Where are the lifeforms-"
-Commander.
-Approximately forty-seven minutes, sir.
-Is she still angry?
-No, but I'd stay out of Sickbay for a while if I were you. I still don't know why you dropped her in the water.
-Data, you're not thinking about using that thing are you?
-It has occurred to me on several occasions. But I believe this may be the appropriate time.
-Wait a minute. I thought you've always been afraid it would overload your neural net.
-But at the first sign of trouble, I'm going to deactivate it. Agreed?
-Well?
-I believe the beverage has provoked an emotional response.
-Really? What do you feel?
-I get it. I get it.
-What?
-During the Farpoint mission. We were on the Bridge and you told a joke. That was the punchline.
-The Farpoint mission? Data, that was seven years ago.
-I know. I just got it. It was very funny.
-I don't see a control panel, or an access port.
-Data, this isn't the time.
-Data, are you all right?
-I believe the emotional chip has overloaded my positronic relays.
-That's it, Bridge- we're all out!
-Sensors show five life signs aboard the station, Captain.
-Looks like you're stuck with emotions for a while. How do you feel?
-I am quite...preoccupied with concern about Geordi.
-We all are, Data. But we're going to get him back.
-Could we access the defective coil and trigger their cloak?
-I have rerouted auxiliary power to the lateral thrusters- attempting to level our descent.
-Can you locate them?
-The ships are bearing at 3-1-0 mark 2-1-5. Distance: three light years.
-We're within visual range of the energy distortion, Captain.
-We're within range, sir.
-Deck 15, section 21-alpha.
-You did it, Kirk! Damage report, Ensign.
-Do you remember him?
-Guinan. It's important that you tell me what you know. We think Soran's developed a weapon...a terrible weapon. It might give him enough power to-
-Soran doesn't care about power or weapons. All he cares about is getting back to the Nexus.
-That ribbon isn't just some random energy phenomenon travelling through space. It's a doorway. It leads to another place- the Nexus. It doesn't exist in our universe and it doesn't play by the same rules either.
-What happened to you?
-It took a long time, but eventually I learned to live with it. And I began to realize that my experience in the Nexus had changed me. I knew things about people, about events, about time.
-Your "sixth sense"- I've always wondered where it came from. And what about Soran?
-Soran may still be obsessed with getting back. And if he is, he'll do anything to find that doorway again.
-Guinan, what's going on? Where am I?
-This is the Nexus?
-For you. This is where you wanted to be.
-But I never had a wife, children, a home like this.
-Guinan, what are you doing here? I thought you were on the Enterprise.
-I am on the Enterprise. I am also here. Think of me as an "echo" of the person you know. A part she left behind.
-Left behind?
-When the Enterprise-B beamed us off the Lakul, we were partially in the Nexus. The transporters locked on to us, but somehow everyone left a part of themselves behind.
-Soran?
-All of us.
-Where is he now?
-These are my children...my children.
-Guinan, can I leave the Nexus?
-Why would you want to leave?
-Can I?
-Yes, where would you go?
-I don't understand.
-I know exactly where I want to go, and when. Back to that mountaintop on Veridian III, before Soran put out the star. I have to stop him.
-What makes you think things will be any different this time?
-You're right. I'll need help. Guinan, will you come back with me? Together, we could-
-I'm Captain John Harriman. I'd like to welcome you all aboard.
-Well, may we have a look around?
-Excuse me, gentlemen, if you'll take your seats.
-Prepare to leave spacedock. Aft thrusters ahead one quarter, port and starboard at station keeping. Captain Kirk, I'd be honored if you would give the order to get underway.
-No, no. Thank you.
-We don't have a tractor beam.
-You left spacedock without a tractor beam?
-What about the gravimetric distortions? They'll tear us apart.
-Beautiful day, isn't it?
-This clock, I gave this clock to Bones.
-So you're telling me this is the 24th-century, and I'm dead?
-Not exactly. As I said, this is some kind of-
-You said history considers me dead. Who am I to argue with history?
-You're a Starfleet officer and you have a duty to-
-No, no, it's not. It's better.
-Better?
-Antonia?
-Captain of the Enterprise, huh?
-That's right.
-Close to retirement?
-How can I argue with the captain of the Enterprise? What was the name of that planet=8A Veridian III?
-That's right.
-I take it the odds are against us and the situation is grim?
-You could say that.
-I'll find a way to contact the Enterprise. You're going to be all right.
-Did we do it? Did we make a difference?
-Yes. Thank you.
-Oh
-I'm not going Scotty, help me with this chute.
-What do you mean, you're not going? We promised.
-You know, Scotty, it amazes me.
-And what would that be, sir?
-Sulu. When did he find the time for a family?
-Their life signs are are phasing in and out of our space-time continuum.
-The first thing you learn as captain is how to cheat death. Scotty?
-But I do have a theory...
-I thought you might.
-An anti-matter discharge directly ahead=8A it might disrupt the field long enough for us to break away.
-A photon torpedo?
-Aye.
-Captain, it may be possible to simulate a torpedo blast using a resonance burst from the main deflector dish.
-Keep her together until I get back.
-Kirk here.
-A remarkable piece of equipment, but a little inelegant, wouldn't you say? Have you ever considered a prosthesis that would make you look a little more...normal?
-What's normal?
-Normal is what everyone else is, and what you are not.
-I don't want a science lecture. You were on that observatory looking for trilithium. Why?
-Let's try to move beyond the usual prisoner-interrogator banter, shall we? You have information and I need it. Did the Captain explain his orders to you? Did he say why you were searching for trilithium?
-No.
-What about Guinan? What has she told you about me?
-Oh, I forgot to tell you. While you were unconscious, I injected a nano-probe into your bloodstream. It's been navigating your cardiovascular system, and right now I've attached it to your left ventricle. A little trick I picked up from the Borg.
-Yeah, they're full of great ideas.
-I just stopped your heart for five seconds. It felt like an eternity, didn't it? Did you know that you can stop the human heart for up to ten minutes before the onset of brain damage?
-No, I didn't know that.
-We learn something new about ourselves every day. Now. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. It is very important that you tell me exactly what Captain Picard knows.
-Don't you think you're taking this a little too far, Number One?
-Well, now that we're all aboard=8A Number One, bring the ship before the wind. Let's see what's out there.
-Imagine what it was like, Will. No engines, no computers, just the wind, the sea and the stars to guide you.
-Sir?
-There's still no indication of why they attacked the station?
-We think they were looking for something- they practically tore the place apart.
-Hmm, Inform Starfleet Command. This could indicate a new Romulan threat in this sector.
-You want me to contact Starfleet?
-Is there a problem?
-No, sir.
-There is something else, Captain. One of the scientists, a Doctor Soran,has insisted on speaking with you. I told him you were busy, sir, but he said it was absolutely imperative that he speak with you right away.
-Understood. That will be all.
-Sir, is there anything wrong?
-Report.
-A quantum implosion has occurred within the Amargosa star. All nuclearfusion is breaking down.
-Maybe they're not out there.
-That's a pretty big margin of error.
-I always thought I'd have a crack at this chair one day.
-Captain, are you all right?
-Counselor. What can I do for you?
-Actually, I'm here to see if there's anything I can do for you.
-I'm afraid I can't just leave it at that. The commanding officer of this ship is clearly distraught about something. As ship's counselor, it's my duty to-
-As ship's counselor, it's your duty to know not only when you're needed but also when you're not.
-Well, with all due respect to your Betazoid senses, I prefer to be alone right now.
-Very well. I suppose I could make out my weekly report to Starfleet Command without your input. "Admiral Lusby, regarding the unusual behavior of Jean-Luc Picard: I find him increasingly irritable, remote and uncooperative. I recommend forced shore leave at a Starbase facility in order to-"
-Captain, Im sorry. I know there were a lot of unresolved conflicts between you and your brother.
-It's only natural to feel a heightened sense of tragedy when a child dies. But it goes deeper than that, doesn't it? I can sense that Rene meant a great deal to you.
-Your family history is very important to you, isn't it?
-You felt it was no longer your responsibility to carry on the family line.
-My brother had shouldered that burden, allowing me to pursue my own selfish needs.
-Or perhaps they're on the surface.
-Doctor Soran?
-Nothing for me. I understand there's something urgent you need to discuss with me.
-Doctor, we're still conducting an investigation into the attack. Once we've completed our work, we'll be happy to allow you and your fellow scientists back aboard the observatory. Until then-
-The timing is very important on my experiment- if it is not completed within the next twelve hours, years of research will be lost.
-You must think I'm quite the madman.
-The thought had crossed my mind.
-I've spent eighty years looking for another way, Captain. This is the only one. Of course, you could always come with me. You fancy yourself an explorer. Here's a chance to explore something no human has ever experienced.
-We're all mortal, Soran. It's one of the truths of ou existence.
-What if I told you I found a new truth?
-The Nexus.
-Careful, Captain. That's a fifty gigawatt forcefield. I wouldn't want to see you get hurt.
-The royal...studs?
-It looks like we're too late.
-These blast patterns are consistent with Type III disruptors.
-One of the dead Romulans had a tricorder. We analyzed its sensor logs and found they were scanning for signature particles of a compound called trilithium.
-Trilithium?
-An experimental compound the Romulans have been working on. In theory, a trilithium-based explosive would be thousands of times more powerful than an anti-matter weapon. But they never found a way to stabilize it.
-Have Geordi and Data go over with the next Away Team. Tell them to scan the observatory for trilithium.
-Sensor records show a solar probe was launched from the observatory a few moments ago.
-I have spoken to the Klingon High Council, sir. They identified the Bird of Prey as belonging to the Duras sisters.
-They have found a way to penetrate our shields.
-It is a Class D-12 Bird of Prey. They were retired from service because of defective plasma coils.
-Plasma coils...is there any way we can use that to our advantage?
-As their cloak begins to engage, their shields will drop.
-Worf, prepare a spread of photon torpedoes. We'll have to hit them the instant they begin to cloak.
-Aye, sir.
-Status!
-All automates ready and functioning. Automatic moorings retracted. All speeds available through transwarp drive.
-Enterprise maintaining full impulse power...
-And we are gaining... Stand by, tractor beam!
-Tractor beam, aye!
-Transwarp at your command, Sir!
-Steady... Steady, boys. Keep scanning... I thought you people were reliable... Where the hell is he!
-He has been here for some time. I can feel his presence.
-Don't give me your Klingon mumbo- jumbo -- there ain't another vessel in this whole damn quadrant.
-Put me on the hailing frequency.
-What's going on? When do we get paid off...?
-Mr. Chekov -- ?
-An energy reading from 'C" deck -- from inside Mr. Spock's quarters...
-Mr. Chekov, I ordered Spock's quarters sealed!
-Will we get another ship?
-Shall I alert Dr. McCoy?
-Unit two, this is One. The Kobayashi Maru has set sail for the promised land. Acknowledge.
-Calm yourself, Bones.
-Sir. Commander, Starfleet on emergency channel. He orders you to surrender this vessel.
-Excelsior closing to 4,000 meters, sir.
-You did great, Bones... Just great.
-Sir, Starfleet calling Grissom again. A warning about us.
-Response?
-Nothing. As before.
-What's Grissom up to?... Will they join us, or fire on us...? Chekov, break radio silence. Send my compliments to Captain Esteban.
-Admiral, there is no response from the Grissom on any channel.
-Still no response, sir.
-I'd swear something was there sir, but I might have imagined it.
-What did you see, Chekov?
-For an instant... A scout class vessel.
-Nothing on my scanner, sir.
-Sir, the shields... Non- responsive.
-Aye sir, coding now.
-Do you wish to advise Starfleet, sir?
-Sir... Something's jamming our transmission. An energy surge.
-Locate.
-Surge from astern, sir. Aft quarter!
-Could it be Spock's?
-It has to be. Gravitational fields were in flux... It must have soft landed...!
-I don't believe it...
-Why don't we beam it up?
-Oh no you don't! Regulations specifically state: "nothing shall be beamed aboard until danger of contamination has been eliminated." Can you guarantee that?
-All right -- get your gear. I'll put you down next time around.
-Hello, sir. It's David.
-David... Sorry I'm late.
-It's okay -- I should have known you'd come... Saavik's right: this planet is unstable. It's going to destroy itself in a matter of hours.
-David!... What went wrong?
-David, I don't understand...
-This is where the fun begins, Saavik!
-Like your father... so human. All units functional, recorders are on... Scanning sector one. Foliage in fully developed state of growth. Temperature, twenty- two point two Celsius.
-Sector two... Indicating desert terrain. Minimal vegetation, temperature thirty-nine point four.
-Sector three... Sub-tropical vegetation... Temperature -- Temperature decreasing rapidly --
-It's snow. Snow in the same sector. Fantastic!
-... Fascinating.
-All the varieties of land and weather known to Earth within a few hours walk!
-You must be very proud of what you and your mother have created.
-Same sector. Metallic mass.
-Underground deposit?
-Negative, on surface... A manufactured object.
-Approximately two meters long... Cylindrical in form...
-New orbit commencing... Coming up on sector three...
-Short range scan.
-As before... Metallic mass... Verifying triminium photon tube... No new data.
-Check for trace radiation. Infrared enhancement.
-There <u>shouldn't</u> be any. Only plant forms were built into the Genesis matrix.
-Captain, please -- we'll take the risk. We've <u>got</u> to find out what it is...
-Saavik to Grissom. Request computer study of soil samples for geological aging.
-I'll handle that later.
-My readings indicate great instability.
-. .. Spock's tube...
-Well. There's your life form reading. These were microbes on the tube's surface. We shot them here from Enterprise. They were fruitful, and multiplied.
-What is it?
-Later. Let's go...
-Saavik... My god, what happened to them?
-It would seem that Grissom was destroyed by an enemy attack.
-You mean, we're stranded down here?!
-Logic indicates that is the case.
-How can you be logical at a time like this?! We have to get thee hell off this planet!
-That may be difficult...
-Why don't you just call for <u>help</u>!
-It's time for total truth between us. This planet is not what you intended, or hoped for, is it?
-Not exactly.
-Why?
-I used protomatter in the Genesis matrix.
-Protomatter. An unstable substance which every ethical scientist in the galaxy has denounced as dangerously unpredictable.
-It was the only way to solve certain problems --
-Did your collaborator know?
-My mother knew nothing about it. That's why I asked her to leave Genesis in my hands.
-So, like your father, you changed the rules...
-If I hadn't, it might have been years -- or never!
-This planet is aging in surges.
-The Genesis wave started a life clock ticking for him and the planet. But at the rate things are going now...
-... How long?
-Days... Maybe hours... Protomatter has made the situation unpredictable. I'm sorry.
-It will be hardest on Spock. Soon he will feel the burning of his Vulcan blood.
-I don't understand.
-Pon Farr. Vulcan males must endure it every seventh year of their adult life.
-Whoever they are, they're getting closer.
-I'll go...
-If equipment is functioning properly, indications are -- an animal life form.
-Captain... the logical alternative is obvious... beaming down to the surface is permitted...
-Grissom to landing party. We have you approaching radioactive indications. Do you concur?
-Affirmative, Captain. Our readings are well below danger level.
-Very well. Exercise caution, Lieutenant. This landing is Captain's discretion and I'm the one who's out on a limb.
-Captain, this is Saavik. We have strong life sign readings bearing zero-one-five relative, and we are proceeding to investigate.
-We concur, Saavik. And Saavik... be advised we are reading a severe and unnatural age curve on the planet. I'm getting nervous...
-Captain, this is Saavik. Come in, please...
-Ah, Saavik, that's, ah, extroadinary. What would you, ah, like to do next?
-Request permission to beam aboard immediately.
-Saavik... Does Dr. Marcus think there could be -- any chance of -- ah -- radioactive contamination?
-None that I can detect, sir.
-I'm sure Starfleet would approve, sir.
-Captain, what's happening?!
-I'm almost done, sir. You'll be fully automated by the time we dock.
-Your timing is excellent, Mr. Scott. You've fixed the barn door after the horse has come home. How much refit time till we can take her out again?
-Eight weeks, sir. But you don't have eight weeks so I'll do it for ya in two.
-Mr. Scott. Have you always multiplied your repair estimates by a factor of four?
-Certainly, sir. How else can I keep my reputation as a miracle worker?
-Mr. Scott...
-I'm sorry, sir, but as far as I'm concerned, there's nothin' needed for space travel that this old girl doesn't already have.
-As promised, she's all yours, sir. All systems automated and ready. A chimpanzee and two trainees could run her.
-Mr. Scott?
-I'd be grateful, Admiral, if you'd give the word.
-Steady... Steady... All right, Mr. Scott.
-Sir...?
-Aye, sir, she's got her second wind now.
-Mr. Scott, all power to the weapons systems --
-Mr. Scott: two photon torpedoes at the ready. Sight on the center of the mass.
-Good shooting, Scotty.
-Aye, those two hits should stop a horse, let alone a bird.
-I'm all right -- stand by to return fire! Mr. Scott, transfer power to the phaser banks --
-Oh, God, sir, I dinna think so...
-What's wrong?
-How many more?
-Just him, sir!
-Admiral, this is Lieutenant Saavik.
-Saavik... Is... David with you?
-Yes, he is. And someone else. Vulcan scientist of your acquaintance.
-This Vulcan -- is he alive?
-What happened...?
-Is there <U>anything</U> we can do?!
-The Genesis planet is gone.
-Yes, Admiral. But that may not be possible.
-What? What are you saying?
-The Katra ritual is meant to deposit Spock's consciousness in the Hall of Ancient Thought - not in his body.
-But we have Spock alive! That's more than we bargained for!
-Or less. What you describe is called Fal Tor Pan - the refusion. It is very dangerous. The elders may not choose to attempt it.
-And if they don't.? What will Happen to Spock?
-My God...
-I know you... Do I not?
-Yes. And I know you.
-My father says you have been my friend... You came back for me.
-You would have done the same for me.
-Why would you do this...?
-Yes, yes, Spock...
-The ship... Out of danger...?
-On course, Admiral. Estimating Spacedock in two point one hours.
-... Admiral, what's going to happen to Enterprise?
-The word, sir?
-The word is no. I am therefore going anyway.
-Count on our help, sir.
-... We have cleared Spacedoors.
-Warp Speed, Mr. Sulu...
-Excelsior, the great experiment, is adrift in space.
-Estimating Genesis 2.9 hours, present speed.
-We are secured from Warp Speed... Now entering Genesis Sector of Mutara Quadrant.
-See! That shimmering area.
-That distortion is closing rapidly... Opinion, Sulu?
-I think it's an energy form, sir...
-Yes. Enough energy to hide a ship, wouldn't you say?
-... A cloaking device?
-Klingon Bird of Prey, sir! She's arming torpedoes...!
-Mr. Sulu, what is the crew complement of a Bird of Prey?
-About a dozen officers and men.
-Sir, planet core readings unstable... Changing rapidly...
-What about surface life signs...?
-Close... There --
-If I read this right, sir, we have full power.
-We are clear and free to navigate.
-The planet Vulcan. In hailing distance, sir.
-Mr. Sulu, you're on manual.
-Uhura, any response from Starfleet on our Project Genesis inquiries?
-No, sir, no response.
-Standby automatic approach system ... Advise approach control.
-Would you look at that?
-How is Doctor McCoy, sir?
-Gentlemen. Good evening.
-Good evening, Commander. Everything ready?
-Will you be able to handle that...?
-Welcome aboard, Admiral.
-Where's Doctor McCoy?
-Indisposed, sir.
-Admiral, I don't understand. The Enterprise --
-Jim, the Enterprise is twenty years old. We think her day is over...
-But, we had requested -- we were hoping to take her back to Genesis...
-Genesis?! Whatever for?
-Why -- a natural desire to help finish the work we began!
-That's out of the question. No one is going to Genesis!
-May I ask why...?
-Jim... You are my best officer and if I had a best friend, you'd be that too. But I am Commander, Starfleet, so I don't break rules!
-Don't quote rules, Harry! We're talking about loyalty. And sacrifice. One man who died for us, another who has deep emotional damage --
-Now wait a minute! This business about Spock and McCoy... Honestly, I have never understood Vulcan mysticism -- I'm sorry! But part of me doesn't want you to make a fool of yourself... Understand?
-Harry, you don't have to believe! I'm not even sure I believe. But if there's even a chance that Spock has an eternal soul -- then that is my responsibility.
-Yours...?!
-As surely as if it were my own! Harry, give me back the Enterprise! With Scotty's help...
-No, Jim! Enterprise would never stand the pounding.
-Then I'll find a ship -- I'll hire a ship.
-Out of the question! The Council has ordered that no one but the science team goes to Genesis!
-Yes... I hear you. I just had to try.
-Of course... Now take my suggestion, enjoy your leave -- and let all this tension blow away.
-You're right. Thanks for the drink.
-I say again: Grissom, this is Enterprise. Admiral Kirk calling Captain Esteban or Lieutenant Saavik. Come in!
-
-Do not lecture me about treaty violations. The Federation, in creating an ultimate weapon, has become a gang of Intergalactic criminals. It is not I who will surrender, it is you. On the planet below, I have three prisoners from the team who developed your doomsday weapon. If you do not surrender immediately, I will execute them, one at a time, as enemies of
-Who is this?! How dare you --
-David?... David!
-Admiral, your young friend is mistaken. I meant what I said. And now, to show my intentions are sincere... I am going to kill one of the prisoners.
-Wait! Give me a chance --
-There are two more prisoners, Admiral. Do you want them killed too? Surrender your vessel!
-Commander, Klingon vessel. Stand by to board this ship on my next signal.
-No tricks, Kirk. You have one minute.
-Maltz. Prisoners are at beam coordinates. Standby...
-You should take the Vulcan, too.
-No.
-But, why?
-Genesis, I want it.
-Beam the Vulcan up -- And we talk.
-Give me what I want -- and I'll consider it...
-You fool -- look around you! This planet is destroying itself!
-Yes. Exhilarating, isn't it!
-If we don't help each other, we'll all die here!
-Give me your hand and we both live.
-
-Ambassador, I -- I had no idea you were here... I think you know my crew...
-Sarek... I would have come to Vulcan... to express my deepest sympathies...
-Spare me your human platitudes, Kirk. I have been to your Government. I have seen the Genesis information, and your own report.
-Then you know how bravely your son met his death.
-"Met his death"? How could you, his friend, have assumed that? Why did you leave him on Genesis! Spock trusted you -- and you denied him his future!
-I -- saw no future --
-You missed the point, then and now... Only his body was "in death," Kirk! And you were the last one to be with him.
-Yes, I was...
-Then you must know that you should have come with him to Vulcan.
-But -- why?
-Because he asked you to! He entrusted you with his very essence -- with everything was not of the body. He asked you to bring him to us -- and to bring that which he gave you: his Katra. His living spirit.
-Sir. Your son meant more to me than you can know. I'd have given my life if it would have saved his. You must believe me when I tell you that he made no request of me!
-He would not have spoken of it openly.
-Then, how --
-Kirk, I must have your thoughts. May I join your mind?
-... He spoke of your friendship.
-Yes...
-He asked you not to grieve...
-... Yes...
-... The needs of the many outweigh...
-... The needs of the few...
-... Or the one.
-... Spock...
-I have been... and always shall be... your friend. Live long... and prosper!
-... No...! ` Kirk, bathed with sweat, suddenly shudders in pain. Sarek opens his eyes, removes his hands. He touches Kirk with gentleness as Jim recovers, opens his eyes.
-Forgive me. It is not here. I assumed he had mind-melded with you. It is the Vulcan way when the body's end is near.
-But he couldn't touch me...! We were separated!
-Please wait!... Surely he would have found a way! If there was so much at stake -- Spock would have found a way!
-Yes... But -- how...?
-Bones!...
-One alive, one not. Yet both in pain.
-What must I do?
-You must bring them to Mount Selaya -- on Vulcan. Only there is the passage possible. Only there can both find peace...
-What you ask is difficult.
-What about Spock?
-I am not sure. Only time will answer. Kirk. I thank you. What you have done is --
-What I have done, I had to do.
-But at what cost? Your ship... Your son.
-So! Speak!
-Share this with no one.
-Understood, my lord.
-We are going to this "planet." Even as our emissaries negotiate for "peace" with the Federation, we will <U>act</U> for the preservation of our race! We will seize the secret of this weapon. The secret of ultimate power!
-Success, my lord.
-Sir, may I suggest --
-Say the wrong thing, Torg, and I will kill you too!
-I ordered no interruptions.
-We are cloaked. Enemy closing on impulse power. Range, 5,000 Kellicams.
-Why haven't they finished us?... They outgun me ten to one; they have four hundred in crew to my handful, yet they sit there.
-Perhaps they wish to take you prisoner.
-How can you tell that?
-I give two minutes. For you, and your gallant crew. Take every last man: form a boarding party, armed heavily!
-They outnumber us, my Lord --
-I'll be in my quarters. Execute course to the Federation Boundary.
-Range: 3000 Kellicams.
-Firing range, sir.
-1,000 Kellicams, closing!
-500 Kellicams!
-My Lord, enemy commander wishes a truce to confer.
-My Lord... what are your orders?
-I underestimated him... He did the one thing I didn't anticipate ... He destroyed himself...
-Sir, may I --
-Killing his son was <U>stupid</U>! It made Kirk willing to die.
-We still have the prisoners, sir. Perhaps their information --
-They are useless! It was Kirk I needed. And I let him slip away.
-But surely, our mission has not failed -- ?
-You amaze me, Commander.
-How is that...?
-A twenty year space veteran, yet you ask for the worst duty station in town. I mean, look at this place: the hind end of space.
-Peace and quiet appeals to me, Lieutenant.
-Well, maybe that's okay for someone like you whose career is winding down. But me: I need some challenge in my life. Some adventure... Even just a surprise or two.
-Commander, these are some of the most famous people in Starfleet! Admiral Kirk, my God!
-Good for you, Lieutenant.
-But it's damn irregular. No destination orders, no encoded i.d...
-All true.
-Well -- what are we going to do about it?!
-I am going to do nothing about it. <u>You</u> are going to sit in the closet.
-The <u>closet</u>?! Have you lost all sense of reality?
-But dear Lord, are we intelligent enough to -- Suppose, this thing were used where life already exists?
-It would destroy such life in favor of its new matrix --
-It's new -- have you any idea what you're saying?
-I was not attempting to evaluate its moral implications, Doctor. As a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create --
-Not anymore! Now you can do both at the same time! According to myth, the earth was created in six days. Watch out: here comes Genesis; we'll do it for you in six minutes --
-I don't dispute that in the wrong hands --
-Are you out of your Vulcan mind? No human can tolerate the radiation loose in there!
-But, as you are so fond of observing, Doctor, I'm not human.
-You're not going in there -- !
-Physician, heal thyself.
-That's all you have to say?
-Wouldn't it be easier to put an experienced crew back on the ship?
-Bless me, doctor; and what beams you into this neck of the woods?
-Romulan Ale! Bones, you know this stuff is illegal --
-I only use it for medicinal purposes. Don't be a pring...
-Twenty-two, eighty-three...
-I'm almost afraid to. What did you bring me, contraband Klingon --
-Cheers. Bones, these are... charming.
-Four hundred years old. You don't find many with the lens still intact.
-Uh -- what are they?
-For your eyes. For most patients of your age, I generally administer Retlax Five to restore flexibility of the lens.
-But I'm allergic to Retlax.
-Slide them down your nose. Now look at me over the top. And you read printed matter through the bottom.
-Amazing! I don't know what to say --
-Say thank you.
-Damn it, Jim, what the hell's the matter? Other people have birthdays. Why're we treating yours like a funeral?
-Bones, I don't want to be lectured.
-What DO you want? Damn it, why isn't there a girl here? You know this has nothing to do with age. This is about you flying a goddamn computer console when you wanna be out hopping Galaxies.
-Spare me your notions of poetry, please. We all have our assigned duties and...
-Bull. You're hiding -- hiding behind the rules and regulations --
-And who am I hiding from?
-Don't mince words, Bones; tell me what you really think.
-Shore leave, Admiral.
-What about the rest of the inspection, Admiral?
-It never rains but when it pours --
-I've got the sick bay ready. Will someone please tell me what is going on?
-Doctors lose patients sometimes. Damn. I'm <u>still</u> in the dark: How'd he know about Genesis?
-At the moment that question takes a back seat to preventing him from laying his hands on it. You said it yourself; we're talking about a bang that would re-arrange the universe...
-There may still be time... you gave as good as you got.
-Khan could be down there!
-He's BEEN there and hasn't found what he wants. Can you spare someone? There may be people hurt.
-They even killed the galley chief.
-Go? <u>Where</u> are we going?
-But what if they went -- nowhere?
-Do you have anything to eat? I don't know about anyone else, but I'm starved.
-How can you think of food at a time like this?
-Now that's what I call a meal.
-Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario --
-Until now.
-Hours instead of days, Saavik; now we have minutes instead of hours --
-You okay, Jim? How do you feel?
-... come in, please. This is Reliant calling Regula I. Repeat. This is USS Reliant --
-Commander, we are receiving. This is Regula I. Go ahead.
-Dr. Marcus... good. We're en route to you and should be there in three days.
-En route? Why? We weren't expecting you for another three months. Has something happened? <u>Has something happened</u>? Do you read us?
-I still don't under --
-<u>Will you please be quiet</u>! Commander Chekov, this is completely irregular. Who gave the order you are quoting? Who gave the order?
-The order comes from Starfleet command, Dr. Marcus, direct from the General Staff.
-But Genesis is a civilian project, under my control --
-This is completely improper, Commander Chekov. I have no intention of allowing Reliant or any other unauthorized personnel access to our work or materials.
-Jim... read me? Can you read me?
-Message breaking up, Carol. What's wrong? What's wrong?
-... Can't read you... repeat...
-Repeat... what's wrong? What's wrong?
-... taking Genesis away from us...
-Taking Genesis? Who? Who is taking Genesis?
-... see you but can't hear. Did you... order...?
-What order? Who's taking Genesis?
-... Please help us, Jim... won't let them have... without proper... repeat... on whose authority...
-Carol!
-Wait --
-David was right, wasn't he? It's just to keep them busy.
-Why? Why didn't you tell me?
-You did this -- in a day?!
-It is a far far better thing I do than I have ever done before... a far better resting place I go to than I have ever known...
-Is that a poem?
-How can you let them pull that stuff on you? They're just lazy.
-And bored. I know. But maybe it IS something they can...
-Come on, Mother, that's just the military mentality. Never put off tomorrow what you can put off today. If there's one atom of life...
-Well, don't have kittens. Genesis is going to work. They'll remember you in a wreath with Newton, Einstein, Surak...
-Thanks a lot. No respect from my offspring --
-Par for the course... you teaming up with me for bridge after dinner?
-Maybe...
-Does that about do it?
-I don't think there's another piece of information we could squeeze into the memory banks. Next time, we'll design a bigger one.
-Will you please be quiet! We must have order here. This has to be some sort of mistake.
-I've tried to warn you. Scientists are always pawns of the military --
-David --
-Jim --
-Go back. I'm going to kill him.
-So are we, it looks like.
-This? It took the Starfleet corps of engineers ten months in space suits to tunnel out all this. What we did in there -- we did in a day. David, why don't you show Dr. McCoy and the Lieutenant our idea of food.
-David. Please.
-Don't tell me you've got something.
-We've picked up a minor energy flux reading on one dyno scanner.
-Damn! Are you sure? Maybe the scanner's out of adjustment --
-I suppose it <u>could</u> be a particle of preanimate matter caught in the matrix...
-All right, let's get on the Comm-pic to Doctor Marcus. Maybe it's something we can transplant.
-Are you sure these are the coordinates?
-Captain, this is the garden spot of Ceti Alpha VI --
-You're crazy -- !
-I saw it -- !
-I told you! I told you I saw a --
-<u>Botany Bay</u> -- oh no!
-But the child --
-A criminal, Captain -- a product of the late 20th Century genetic engineering --
-He left us. We were no longer of use. SAAVIK Where is the Reliant crew? Dead?
-You lie! On Ceti Alpha V there was life, a fair chance to --
-<u>This is Ceti Alpha V</u>! Ceti Alpha VI exploded six months after we were left here. The shock shifted the orbit of <u>this</u> planet and everything was laid waste. <u>Admiral</u> Kirk never bothered to check on our progress. It was only the fact of my genetically engineered intellect that enabled us to survive! On earth, two hundred years ago, I was a prince, with
-Captain Kirk was your host! You repaid his hospitality by trying to steal his ship and murder him.
-Khan, listen to me! Captain Kirk was only doing his duty! You --
-Beyond what I told you, sir, it is classified information.
-Umm. And would Admiral Kirk have access to such information?
-I would think so, sir. He's on the Fleet General Staff.
-Then to whom do you report directly regarding Genesis?
-To Doctor Marcus, the civilian director of the experiments on Space Laboratory Regula I.
-Well done, Commander.
-I'm Admiral Kirk...
-Where's Dr. Marcus --
-Why didn't you tell me?
-It's a long story.
-It's the Genesis Wave!
-What?
-He's on a build up to detonation!
-How soon --
-We encoded four minutes --
-We'll beam aboard and stop it --
-I don't mean to intrude.
-Uh, no... I should be on the bridge.
-I suppose I was. I poured a drink. Would you like it?
-No. I -- I guess I'm not what you expected.
-I didn't expect anything.
-That makes two of us. Lieutenant Saavik was right: you never have faced death --
-Not like this -- no. I haven't faced death, I cheated death. I tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing.
-You knew enough to tell Saavik that how we face death is at least as important as how we face life --
-It was just words.
-But good words. That's where ideas begin. Maybe you should listen to them.
-I'm trying, David.
-So am I. My friends were killed, too.
-I was wrong about you. And <u>I'm</u> sorry.
-Is that what you came here to say?
-Let go -- he can't -- !
-What are you looking at?
-The Admiral's son.
-Don't you believe it.
-What are <u>you</u> looking at?
-Steady on course. All systems normal.
-They're requesting visual communications, sir.
-Let them eat static.
-They're still running with shields down.
-Careful: Not all at once. <u>The</u> <u>engine room</u>. Lock on target and prepare to fire.
-Sir -- our shields are dropping!
-They won't --
-At them! At them! FIRE! FIRE! Why can't you?
-We can't fire, sir; they've damaged the photon controls and the warp drive. We must withdraw!
-No!
-Well?
-Departing dark side, Regula.
-We'll lose them if they go in there.
-No sir! We have Genesis -- Whatever you want --
-Tactical!
-Inoperative.
-Yours... is... the superior...
-You still remember, Admiral. I cannot help but be touched. Of course, I remember you.
-What is the meaning of this attack? Where is the crew of the Reliant?
--- But I wanted you to know first who it was who had beaten you: I, Khan Noonian Singh, the eagle you attempted to cage forever.
-Khan, listen to me -- if its me you want, I'll have myself beamed aboard. All I ask is that you spare my crew.
-Genesis, what's that?
-Don't play with me, Kirk, my hand is on the phaser control --
-Give me some time to recall the data on our computers --
-Thirty seconds...
-Khan, how do I know you'll keep your word?
-I've given you no word to keep, Admiral. In my judgment, you simply have no alternative.
-Time's up, Admiral...
-Kirk! Kirk, you are still alive -- my old friend...
-Still, 'old friend.' You've managed to kill just about everyone else, but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target.
-Goodbye, Admiral. Oh, and don't count on Enterprise. She can't move. My next act will be to blow her out of the heavens.
-I don't know you. But you. I never forget a face. Mister Chekov, isn't it? I never thought to see your face again.
-You are in a position to demand nothing, sir. I, on the other hand, am in a position to grant nothing. What you see is all that remains of the ship's company and the crew of the <u>Botany Bay</u>, marooned here fifteen years ago by Captain James T. Kirk.
-Listen to me -- you men and women --
-Save your strength, Captain, these people have sworn to live and die at my command two hundred years before you were born. Do you mean he... ... never told you the tale? To amuse you, Captain? Never told you how the <u>Enterprise</u> picked up the <u>Botany Bay</u>, lost in space from the year 1996, myself and the ship's company in cryogenic freeze?
-I've never even met Admiral Kirk --
-Captain... We're waiting. What's the delay?
-All is well, sir. You have the coordinates to beam up Genesis...
-An emergency situation has arisen. By order of Starfleet Command, as of now, 1800 hours, I am assuming command of this vessel. Duty officer so note in the ship's log. Plot a new course: for Space Laboratory Regula I. Mr. Scott?
-Aye, sir.
-We'll be going to warp speed --
-Scotty -- what's left?
-Just the batteries, sir. I can have auxiliary power in a few minutes --
-We don't have minutes. Can you give me phaser power?
-Just barely, sir.
-I'll need ten minutes, sir, 'til the radiation dissipates.
-Uhura. Can't you augment?
-She's not responding...
-Try the emergency channels...
-Enterprise to Reliant. Come in, Reliant.
-I'm getting a voice message... wait ... short range band. They say their Chambers coil is shorting their COMM system.
-Mr. Scott on discrete.
-On screen.
-Admiral --
-... No response, sir.
-Saavik, for God's sake, tell her we're all right.
-Enterprise to Reliant: you are ordered to surrender your vessel. Respond! Nothing, sir.
-Mr. Scott, you old space dog. You're well?
-I had me a wee bout -- but Dr. McCoy pulled me through.
-Midshipman, you're a tiger.
-My sister's youngest, Admiral. Crazy to get to space.
-Every young boy's fancy. I seem to remember it myself. Very well. Mr. Scott, are your engines capable of handling a minor training cruise?
-Give the word, Admiral.
-Mr. Scott, the word is given.
-<u>WHY</u>?
-The energizer's bypassed like a Christmas tree -- so don't give me too many bumps.
-Admiral, I've got to take the mains off the line. The energizer's shaken loose and I can't get in there to fix her -- radiation --
-No, sir! You'll flood the whole compartment...!
-If he hadn't, we'd be space by now.
-Yes, Spock.
-Engine room reports auxiliary power restored. We can proceed at impulse power.
-Kirk to Enterprise. Damage report, Spock?
-Admiral, if we go by the book, like Lieutenant Saavik, hours could seem like days.
-Meaning you can't even beam us back?
-Spock, this is Kirk. It's two hours. Are you about ready?
-And who is this?
-Your first training voyage, Mr. Preston?
-Yes, SIR.
-I believe you'll find everything shipshape, Admiral.
-Oh do you? Have you any idea, Midshipman Preston, how many times I've had to listen to Mr. Scott on the Comm, telling me his troubles? Have you any idea the ribbing I've had to endure in the officers' mess to the effect that the Enterprise is a flying death trap?
-Is the word given?
-The word is given: warp speed.
-I assume you are loitering here to learn what efficiency rating I plan to give your cadets.
-They destroyed the simulator room and you with it.
-The <u>Kobayshi Maru</u> scenario frequently wreaks havoc with students and equipment. As I recall you took the test three times yourself. Your final solution was, shall we say, unique?
-It had the virtue of never having been tried.
-Yours was not a solution which would have occurred to a Vulcan mentality.
-So you said at the time. Speaking of which, your prot‚g‚'s first rare -- a trifle emotional --
-She's half Romulan, Jim. The admixture makes her more volatile than -- me, for example.
-I know of your fondness for antiques.
-'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...' Message, Spock?
-Hrummm... and where are you off to, now?
-The Enterprise. I must check in before your inspection. And you?
-Permission to come aboard, Captain?
-Welcome aboard, Admiral. I believe you know my trainee crew. Certainly they have come to know you.
-There's a first time for everything, Admiral.
-Something may be wrong at Regula I. We've been ordered to investigate.
-Regula I is a scientific research laboratory, if memory serves...
-I told Starfleet all we had was a boatload of children but we're the only ship in the quadrant. Spock: those cadets of yours -- how good are they? How will they respond under real pressure?
-Like all living beings, Admiral each according to his gifts. The ship is yours.
-That won't be necessary: just take me to Regula I.
-Excuse my presumption, but I do not agree. As a teacher on a training mission, I am content to command a Starship. If we are to go on actual duty, it is clear that the senior officer aboard must assume command.
-But it may be nothing; garbled communications. Why don't you...
-You are going to remind me that logic alone dictates your actions.
-I was going to remind you of nothing, least of all that which you know well. Your mistake, if I may be so bold, was promotion. Commanding a Starship is your first best destiny. Anything else is a waste of material.
-I would not presume to debate you.
-That is wise. In any case, were I to invoke logic, logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
-Will you accompany me to the bridge?
-There are two possibilities, sir they are unwilling to respond, they are unable to respond.
-How far?
-Twelve hours and forty-three minutes, present speed.
-Give up Genesis, she said. What in God's name does that mean? Give it up to whom?
-Carol Marcus --
-It literally is Genesis...
-The power of creation --
-Have they proceeded with their experiments?
-Gentlemen, this isn't --
-What's she doing here?
-Is it possible their COMM system has failed -- ?
-Their coil emissions are normal... Wait: their shields are going up. They're locking phasers -- !
-They knew just where to hit us.
-WHO? Who knew just where to hit us? And <u>why</u>?
-One thing is certain; we cannot escape on auxiliary power.
-Visual! Mr. Sulu, divert everything to the phasers --
-Not enough against their shields.
-Admiral, you can't give him Genesis...
-The prefix code?
-You've got to learn WHY things work on a Starship. It's coming through now, Khan...
-Let's hope he hasn't changed the combination. He's quite intelligent...
-Scanners and sensors still inoperative. There's no way to tell what's inside the station.
-And no way of knowing if Reliant is still in the area...
-Affirmative, Admiral.
-... Blind as a Tiberian Bat. What do you make of the plantoid beyond?
-Regula is class "D'. It consists of various remarkable ores. Essentially, a great rock in space.
-Reliant could be hiding behind that rock.
-A distinct possibility.
-All right, join the party. Mr. Spock, the ship is yours.
-Aye sir --
-Establish a parking orbit around the station and send me a complete damage report when you've talked with Mr. Scott.
-What IS working around here?
-Not much, Admiral. We have partial main power...
-That's it?
-Uh oh.
-She can out-run us and out-gun us. But there is the Mutara Nebula at 153 mark four.
-I think we can guarantee she'll follow us, Mr. Saavik. Remind me to explain to you the concept of human ego.
-Estimating nebula penetration in two minutes. Reliant is closing.
-Admiral, they're reducing speed.
-Sporadic energy readings port side, aft. Could be an impulse turn.
-He won't break off now. If he followed me this far he'll be back. But from where...?
-Spock!
-The ship -- out of danger?
-... the good of the few...
-I never took the <u>Kobayashi Maru</u> test -- until now. What do you think of my solution?
-Spock...!
-Kirk here.
-I have an urgent CommPic from Space Lab Regula I for the Admiral. Dr. Carol Marcus.
-In my quarters, Uhura.
-Uhura! What's happening? Damn it...
-Transmission jammed at the source, sir.
-Captain Spock, if you do not hear from us within <u>one hour</u> your orders are to restore what power you can, take the Enterprise to the nearest Star Base and alert Starfleet command when you are out of jamming range.
-Sir -- we won't leave you behind...!
-Any suggestions, Admiral?
-Well, Mr. Saavik, are you going to stay with the sinking ship?
-Permission to speak candidly, sir?
-Very well.
-I don't believe this was a fair test of my command capabilities.
-And why not?
-Because... there was no way to win.
-A no-win situation is a possibility every commander may face. Has that never occurred to you?
-... No, sir. It has not.
-How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life, wouldn't you say?
-As I indicated, Admiral, that thought had not occurred to me.
-Lieutenant, are you wearing your hair differently?
-May I speak, sir?
-Lieutenant, self-expression does not seem to be one of your problems.
-I wish to thank you for the high efficiency rating.
-You earned it.
-I did not think so.
-You're bothered by your performance on the <u>Kobayashi Maru</u>.
-I failed to resolve the situation.
-There is no correct resolution. It is a test of character.
-May I ask how <u>you</u> dealt with the test?
-That was a little joke.
-Humor... that is a difficult concept ... it is not logical...
-Yes.
-This is damned peculiar. Yellow alert.
-Khan!
-Reliant's command...
-On screen...
-Begging the Admiral's pardon: General Order 15: 'No flag officer shall beam into a hazardous area without armed escort.'
-Indeterminate life signs.
-That's true, Admiral. All the memory cells have been emptied.
-It doesn't make sense. These coordinates are well within Regula -- a plantoid we know to be lifeless and airless.
-If Stage Two was completed, it was underground -- she said it was going to be underground.
-Admiral?
-What's on your mind, Lieutenant?
-Are you asking me if we are playing out that scenario now, Lieutenant?
-How?
-I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship.
-<u>WHAT</u>?
-I changed the conditions of the test. I received a commendation for original thinking. I don't like to lose.
-But the damage report -- we were immobilized...
-Regulation 46-A: 'If transmissions are being monitored during battle...'
-That was close --
-Hold your course. Look sharp...
-Mr. Saavik, all stop.
-All stop, sir.
-Cease fire. Look sharp.
-Power levels quite low, sir.
-Saavik, get us out, best speed!
-Time from my mark...
-Two minutes, ten seconds.
-Time!
-Three minutes, thirty seconds.
-After you dismiss the company, you will take the watch. Set course for Ceti Alpha V and we'll pick up survivors.
-Aye, sir.
-I'll be in my quarters if needed, but I would prefer...
-Understood, sir.
-Admiral on the bridge!
-As you were, Mr. Saavik.
-Aye, sir. On course to Ceti Alpha. All is well.
-Yes, well, why don't you show him around and...
-I really must thank you.
-I am delighted; any chance to go aboard Enterprise, however briefly, is always an excuse for nostalgia.
-I cut your new orders personally. By the end of the month, you'll have your first command: USS EXCELSIOR.
-Thank you, sir. I've looked forward to this for a long time.
-Stop engines.
-Course plotted for Regula I, Admiral...
-Reliant in our section this quadrant, sir, and slowing --
-Mr. Sulu... The shields!
-I can't get power, sir!
-Mr. Sulu, lock phasers on target and await my command...
-Sir, you did it.
-Approaching Regula and Space Lab Regula I.
-Admiral on the bridge --
-Phaser lock inoperative, sir.
-Leaving Section Fourteen for Section Fifteen.
-Project parabolic course to avoid entering Neutral Zone.
-May I remind the Captain that if a Starship enters the zone --
-I'm aware of my responsibilities, Mister.
-Shields activated!
-We're over our heads. Mr. Sulu, get us out of here.
-Aft thrusters, Mr. Sulu.
-We are clear and free to navigate.
-Prepare for warp speed.
-We commend the soul of our brother departed. We love we commit his body to the depths of space.
-Fire all phasers...!
-He's not what I expected, Sir.
-What did you expect, Lieutenant?
-He's very human.
-Very well, Mr. Saavik, clear all moorings.
-All moorings are clear, Captain.
-Lieutenant, how many times have you piloted a Starship out of Spacedock?
-Take her out, Mr. Saavik.
-Sir, may I quote General Order 12: 'On the approach of any vessel, when communications have not been est --
-Lieutenant, the Admiral is aware of the Regulations.
-Certainly...
-You lied.
-I do not understand the final question...
-You are half human. The Computer knows that.
-The question is irrelevant.
-Spock... The retraining of your mind has been in the Vulcan way, so you may not understand feelings. But as my son, you have them. They will surface.
-As you wish, since you deem them of value. But I cannot wait here to find them.
-Where must you go?
-To Earth. To offer testimony.
-You do this -- for friendship?
-I do this because I was there,
-Spock. Does the good of the many outweigh the good of the one...?
-I would accept that as an axiom.
-Then you stand here alive because of a mistake -- made by your flawed, feeling, human friends. They have sacrificed their futures because they believed that the good of the <u>one</u> -- you -- was more important to them.
-Humans make illogical decisions...
-Heard there was some excitement.
-How're you doing?
-Fine. Just fine.
-Don't tell me fish stories, kiddo. I've known you too long.
-Bob... it's tearing me apart.
-I know. I feel the same thing. But we're between a rock and a hard place. We can't keep them without risking their lives and we can't let them go without a taking the same chance.
-Yeah.
-And finally, they're not human beings, you know. Their intelligence has in no way been proven comparable to ours --
-Sorry if I spoke out of turn.
-Not at all. You gave me things to think about. You always do. You do sound a little wrecked, why don't you go home and stare at the ceiling?
-You -- sent them away. Without even letting me say goodbye?
-Professor Scott, I'm Dr. Nichols, plant manager. I'm terribly sorry but there's been an awful mix-up Would you believe I was never told about your visit?
-Well, so much for the tour of our humble plant. I must say, Professor your knowledge of engineering is most impressive.
-Back home, we call him the miracle worker.
-He never jokes... Perhaps the professor could use your computer.
-No! No... What did you have in mind...?
-You'd think they could at least send a ship. Bad enough to be court marshaled and spend the rest of our lives mining borite -- but to come home in this Klingon flea trap...
-We could learn a thing or two from this flea trap. It has a cloaking device that cost us a lot.
-You sure this is such a bright idea?
-What do you mean?
-I mean <u>him</u>, back at his post, like nothing happened. I don't know if you'd got the whole picture but he isn't exactly working on all thrusters.
-It'll come back to him.
-Are you sure? That's what I thought.
-Bones --
-Bones, stay here.
-Now wait just a damn minute.
-You're really going to try this time travel in this rust bucket?
-We've done it before.
-Sure, slingshot around the Sun. If you pick up enough speed you're in time warp. If you don't, you fry..
-I prefer a dose of common sense. you are proposing to head backwards in time, find Humpback Whales, then bring them forward in time, drop them off - and hope they tell this Probe what to do with itself!
--- That's the general idea.
-That's crazy!
-It doesn't look all that different.
-Oh, joy.
-Jim, you've got to let me go in there! Don't leave him in the hands of Twentieth Century medicine.
-What did you say she was getting?
-An experimental device, doctor.
-Wake up, man, wake up!
-He's coming 'round, Jim...
-Congratulations, Jim. I think you've saved the Earth.
-Hi... Busy?
-Uhura is busy. I am monitoring.
-Umm. Well, just wanted to say -- nice to have your katra back in your head, not mine. I mean, I may have carried your soul, but I sure couldn't fill your shoes.
-... My shoes...
-Forget it... How 'bout covering a little philosophical ground? Life, Death, Life... Things of that nature?
-I did not have time on Vulcan to review the Philosophical disciplines.
-Spock, it's me, Bones! I mean our experience was unique. You really have gone where no man has gone before. Can't you tell me what it felt like?
-It would be impossible to discuss the subject without a common frame of reference.
-You're joking...!
-A joke is a story with a humorous climax.
-You mean I have to die to discuss your insights on death?
-Most unusual. An unknown form of energy of great intelligence and power. I find it illogical that its intentions are hostile...
-Really? You think this is its way of saying "Hi there" to the people of the Earth?
-There are millions of other species on Earth, Doctor. Only human arrogance would assume the message was meant for man.
-Specifically, Humpback Whales.
-10 million years earlier. Humpbacks were heavily hunted by Man. They have been extinct since the 21st Century... It is possible that an alien intelligence sent the probe to determine why they lost contact.
-You just said there aren't any except on Earth of the past.
-That is what I said, Doctor.
-Angels and ministers of grace, defend us.
-You, ah... You present the appearance of a man with a problem.
-Your perception is correct, Doctor... In order to return us to the exact moment at which we left the 23rd Century, I have used our journey back through time as a referent, calculating the coefficient of elapsed time in relation to the acceleration curve.
-Naturally. So what is your problem?
-Acceleration is no longer a constant.
-Well, you're gonna have to take your best shot.
-... Best shot...?
-Guess, Spock. Your best guess.
-"Guessing" is not in my nature...
-... I don't think he understands...
-You're saying... It is a compliment.
-Who are you? Doctor Adams was supposed to assist me.
-We're just -- observing.
-What the hell do you think you're doing?
-What's your degree in, dentistry?
-How do you explain slowing pulse, low respiratory rate and coma?
-Fundoscopic examination --
-Fundoscopic examination is unrevealing in these cases!
-A simple evacuation of the expanding epidural hematoma will relieve the pressure.
-What's causing that!?
-Captain, their call is being carried on an amplification wave of enormous power!
-Can you isolate the wave?
-Damage report!
-Captain... All systems have failed... We are functioning on reserve power only.
-Find it?
-Team leader, this is team 2. Come in, please...
-I have the coordinates of the reactor...
-... It gives me a great sense of history.
-How long?
-All right, Commander, you wanna tell us anything?
-Like what?
-My name is Pavel Chekov. I am a Lt. Commander in Starfleet, United Federation of Planets, service number 656-5827b.
-All right. Let's take it from the top.
-The top of what?
-Name?
-My name?
-No, <u>my</u> name.
-I do not know your name.
-You play games with me and you're through
-Okay... Make nice and give us the ray gun.
-I varn you. If you don't lie on the floor, I vill have to stun you.
-Go ahead. Stun me.
-Operational, Admiral. Cloaking Device now available in all modes of flight.
-I'm impressed, Mr. Chekov. A lot of effort for a short voyage.
-We are in an enemy wessel, sir. I didn't wish to be shot down on thee way to our own funeral.
-No, sir. And no Federation wessels on assigned patrol stations.
-Shields, Mr. Chekov.
-Shields, aye.
-No choice now, Scotty!
-Yes, sir.
-Ah, well done, team 2.
-And Admiral, it's the Enterprise.
-Cloaking device is stable... All systems normal.
-The mains are down, sir! Aux power is not responding.
-Status report, Admiral!
-Mr. President, the Probe has passed through all quadrants. The starships Shepard and Yorktown and three smaller vessels have been neutralized.
-"Neutralized?" How?
-We don't know. It's using forms of energy our best scientists do not understand...
-Can you protect us?
-To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.
-Attempting the hell to communicate.
-They like you very much. But they are not the hell your whales.
-I suppose they told you that...?
-So you were at Berkeley.
-Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?
-You sure you won't change your mind?
-You mean man...
-They are mature humpbacks, weighing 45,000 pounds each. They wandered into San Francisco Bay as calves and were brought here. We call them George and Gracie.
-Despite all the things they are teaching us we have to return George and Gracie to the open sea.
-Why's that?
-Well, for one thing, we simply don't have the money to keep feeding them a couple of tons of shrimp a day!
-How soon?
-Ohhh<u>kay</u>. I don't know what this is about, but I want you guys outta here right now or I call the cops.
-I assure you that won't be necessary. We were only trying to help...
-Back to San Francisco.
-Came all the way down here to jump in and swim with the kiddies, huh?
-There's really very little point in my trying to explain.
-I buy that. What about him?
-He's harmless. Back in the sixties he was part of the Free Speech movement at Berkeley. I think he did too much LDS.
-LDS?? Are you dyslexic on top of everything else? Come on, Lemme give you a lift. I have a notorious weakness for hard luck cases -- that's why I work with whales.
-We don't want to be any trouble.
-Thanks.
-Memory problems, too.
-Uh huh. What about you? Where you from?
-Iowa.
-A landlubber. Come on, what the hell were you boys really trying to do back there? Was it some kinda macho thing? If that's all, I'm gonna be real disappointed. I hate that macho type.
-Can I ask <u>you</u> something?
-Go ahead.
-They're gonna hafta take their chances.
-What does that mean, exactly? Take their chances.
-No, ma'am. No dipshit.
-All right. Who are you? and don't jerk me around any more. I want to know how you know that.
-We can't tell you. Please, just -- let me finish. I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.
-Then --
-In fact, we may be able to help -- in ways that, frankly, you couldn't possibly imagine.
-Or believe, I'll bet.
-Just a little joke. See you later, old friend.
-He's just going to hang around the bushes while we eat?
-Do you trust me?
-Implicitly.
-So how did a nice girl like you get to be a cetacean biologist?
-Just lucky, I guess.
-You're upset about losing the whales.
-... You're very perceptive.
-How will that be done, exactly?
-They'll be flown in a special 747 to Alaska and released there.
-Flown... And that's the last you'll see of them?
-See, yes. But we'll tag them with radio transmitters on a special frequency so we can keep tabs on them.
-You know, I could take those whales somewhere they wouldn't be hunted.
-Thanks. Cheers.
-If you have such a low opinion of my abilities, how come we're having dinner?
-Where could you take them?
-Hm?
-My whales? Where could you take them where they'd be safe?
-It's not so much a matter of a place as of time.
-Sorry, the time would have to be right now.
-What do you mean now?
-What's that?
-What's what?
-Wanna try it from the top?
-Tell me when the whales are going to be released?
-... Who are you?
-Don't tell me: you're from outer space.
-No, I'm from Iowa. I just work in outer space.
-Well, I was close. I knew outer space was going to come into it sooner or later.
-All right. The truth?
-I'm all ears.
-That's what you think. Okay...Truth... I'm from what, on your calendar, would be the late 23rd Century. I've been sent back in time to bring two Humpback Whales with me in an attempt to... repopulate the species.
-Well, why didn't you say so? Why all the coy disguises?
-You want the details?
-Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for all the tea in China.
-Then tell me when the whales are leaving.
-Jesus, you are persistent. Okay, your friend was right. Gracie is not only pregnant, she is very pregnant... At noon tomorrow -- in what is sure to be a media circus -- the whales get shipped out.
-Well, "Admiral," that may be the strangest dinner of my life and the biggest cockamamie fish story I've ever heard.
-Sorry, that's classified. I don't really have a clue who you are... You wouldn't want to show me around your space ship, would you?
-It wouldn't be my first choice, no.
-So. There we are.
-Lemme tell you something. I'm here to bring two humpbacks into the 23rd Century. If I have to, I'll go to the open sea to get them, but I'd just as soon take yours -- better for me, better for you... and better for them.
-I bet you're a damn good poker player.
-Think about it -- but don't take too long because I'm out of time. If you change your mind, this is where I'll be.
-Here... In the park?
-It's true... what you said...
-Steady, now. We need your help.
-Have I flipped out? ... Is any of this real?
-It's all real. Look. The storage tanks for the whales.
-But Kirk...
-We'll bring them up just like we brought you. It's called a transporter beam...
-Kirk. They're gone.
-... Gone?!
-They were taken last night. I wasn't told. They're in Alaska by now.
-What kind of spaceship is this, anyway?
-If we keep going up, they'll catch us!
-Gillian... Would the whales be at sea by now?
-Yes... If you have a chart on board, I can show you.
-All I need is the radio frequency to track them.
-What are you talking about? I'm coming with you.
-You can't. Our next stop is the 23rd Century.
-What do I care? I've got nobody but those whales...
-I have no time to argue, Gillian. Or even tell you how much you've meant to us... The <u>frequency</u>.
-All right. The frequency is 401 megahertz.
-You tricked me.
-Oh my God, we're too late!
-... What does that mean?
-He means our chances of getting home are not very good. You might have lived a longer life if you'd stayed where you belong.
-I belong here. Suppose by some miracle you do get them through. Who in the 23rd Century knows anything about Humpback whales?
-Hey! -- Where you going?!
-You're going to your ship, I'm going to mine. Science Vessel. I've got 300 years of catch-up learning to do.
-You mean this is -- goodbye?
-Why does it have to be goodbye?
-Well, I... As they say in your century -- I don't even have your phone number. How will I find you?
-Permission to come aboard.
-Permission granted.
-Thank you, Admiral.
-Jim, Spock, Jim. Remember...?
-It would be improper to refer to you as Jim while you are in command, Admiral... Also, I must apologize for my attire. I seem to have misplaced my uniform.
-Spock -- you're suggesting the transmission is meant for life form other than man?
-A distinct possibility, Admiral. The President did say the transmission was directed at the Earth's Oceans
-Where are you going?!
-Spock...?
-As suspected, the Probe's transmissions are the songs sung by whales.
-Spock, could the Humpback's answer to this call be simulated?
-The sounds, but not the language. We would be responding in gibberish.
-Is there any other planet where this species exists?
-The Humpback was indigenous to Earth. Earth of the past.
-That leaves us no choice. We must destroy the probe before it destroys Earth.
-That would be futile, Admiral. The probe would neutralize us easily.
-But we can't turn away! Is there no alternative?
-Mr. Spock, your computations?
-In progress, Admiral.
-Ready to engage computer, Admiral.
-What is our target in time?
-The late 20th Century.
-Surely you can be more specific...
-Not with this equipment. I have had to program some of the variables from memory.
-What are the variables...?
-Availability of fuel components; Mass of the vessel through a time continuum, and the probable location of Humpbacks, in this case, the Pacific basin.
-You've programmed that from memory...?
-Earth... But when?... Spock?
-Judging by the pollution content of the atmosphere, I believe we have arrived at the late 20th Century.
-Home in on the strongest signal. Descend from orbit.
-Admiral, if I may: we're probably already visible to the tracking devices of the time.
-There is a 20th Century possibility.
-Explain.
-If memory serves, there was a dubious flirtation with nuclear fission reactors resulting in toxic side effects. By the beginning of the fusion era, these reactors had been replaced, but at this time, we should be able to find some.
-But you said toxic.
-We could rig a device to collect their high energy photons safely; we could then inject the photons into the dilithium chamber, causing crystalline restructure.... Theoretically.
-Where would we find these reactors... Theoretically.
-Weren't those a birthday present from Dr. McCoy?
-Well, Spock, thanks to your restored memory and a little bit of luck, we are in the streets of San Francisco looking for a pair of humpback whales. How do you propose to solve this minor problem?
-I think we'll find what we're looking for at the Cetacean Institute in Sausalito. Two Humpbacks called George and Gracie.
-How do you know this...?
-As you observed, a primitive Culture.
-Yes.
-Admiral, may I ask you a question?
-Spock, don't call me Admiral. Don't you remember: you used to call me Jim... Now what's your question?
-Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with -- shall I say -- more colorful metaphors: "Double dumb ass on you" -- and so forth...
-You mean profanity. That's simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to you if you don't swear every other word. You'll find it in all the literature of the period.
-Oh, the complete works of Jacqueline Susan, the novels of Harold Robbins....
-Come on, fellah -- speak up!
-Spock...
-Yes?
-About those colorful metaphors we discussed. I don't think you should try to use them.
-Why not?
-Well, for one thing, you haven't quite got the hang of it.
-I see.
-And another thing... It is not always necessary to tell the truth.
-I cannot tell a lie.
-You don't have to lie... You could exaggerate.
-Exaggerate.
-You've done it before. Can't you remember?
-The hell I can't
-What else did you learn from your mind meld?
-They are very unhappy about the way their species has been treated by man.
-They have a right to be... Do you think they'll help us?
-I believe I was successful in communicating our intentions.
-It's her -- from the Institute. If we play our cards right, we may learn when those whales are really leaving.
-I meant --
-Status?
-The tank will be finished by morning...
-That's cutting it closer than you know. What about team two?
-No word since beam-in. We can only wait for their call.
-Damn.... Damnit! We've been so lucky. We have the two perfect whales in our hands, but if we don't move quickly, we'll lose them!
-In that event, the probabilities are that our mission would fail.
-Admiral. Full power is restored.
-Admiral, may I suggest that Dr. McCoy is correct. We must help Chekov.
-Is that the logical thing to do, Spock...?
-No, Admiral... But is the human thing to do.
-Mr. Spock, where the hell is the power you promised me?
-Mr. Sulu, take the con. I'm taking our guest down to see her whales. Mr. Spock: have you accounted for the variable mass of whales and water in your time re-entry program?
-Mr. Scott cannot give me exact figures, Admiral. So I will... Make a <u>guess</u>.
-Can we make breakaway speed!?
-Spock... Did braking thrusters fire?
-They did, Admiral.
-Spock: Condition report!
-You got us to the right place, Spock. Now all we have to do is get the whales out before we <u>sink</u>. Mr. Scott, come in!... Scotty...?! Damn... Mr. Spock, see to the safety of all hands.
-Guidance is functional. Onboard Computer will interface with Federation memory bank...
-Estimating Planet Earth one point six hours present speed.
-Warp two... three...
-Warp Nine... Nine point two... Nine point three...
-Mr. Sulu, we need breakaway speed!
-Hang on, sir... Nine point seven... point eight... Breakaway threshold...
-Mr. Sulu...? ... Mr. Sulu?!
-... Aye sir...?
-What is our condition?
-Sir... Braking thrusters seem to have fired.
-Aye, sir. Descending.
-Ready sir.
-Maintaining impulse climb. Wing five by zero, helm steady.
-Advise reaching 10,000. Steer three-one-zero.
-Three-one-zero, aye!
-10,000 M.S.L., Admiral.
-Wing to cruise configuration... Full impulse power.
-10 seconds, sir!
-I have no control, sir!
-Sir -- I've got some back pressure on manual --
-Let's see what she's got, Mr. Sulu.
-Systems report. Communications?
-Communications Systems ready. Communications Officer -- ready as she'll ever be.
-What is it?
-Overlapping distress calls. Some from Starships... others...
-Then, this is what it would sound like underwater?
-Admiral, I am receiving whale songs.
-Individual whale song getting stronger... This is strange, Admiral. The song is directly ahead. It's coming from San Francisco.
-I'll have bearing and distance for you, sir.
-We'll stick together till we get orientated. Bearing to the whales?
-283 degrees... 15.2 kilometers...
-Any luck...?
-Nothing... I should never have left him...
-I've found Chekov, sir: he's in emergency surgery right now.
-Uhura!... Where!
-Bearing!
-Bearing 327, range 600 nautical.
-Admiral, I have a signal closing on the whales. Bearing 328 degrees.
-Estimate range, ship to whales!
-Unidentified aircraft, 40,000 feet MSL, range 30 miles, bearing 010.
-I can't, sir -- Nothing!
-Mr. Scott, how soon can we get underway?
-We're ready, sir. I've converted the Dilithium Sequencer to something less primitive. And Admiral -- I've replaced the Klingon Food Packs. They was givin' me sour stomach.
-Scotty, how long is this bay?
-About 60 feet, Admiral.
-That should be enough. Can you enclose it to hold water?
-Scotty, we have to find some Humpbacks.
-Humpbacked - people.?
-Whales, Scotty. 45 to 50 feet long; about 40 tons a piece.
-Admiral - how am I going to handle all that weight?
-You'll work it out, Scotty. And remember: two of them.
-Two?
-They're giving out. De-crystallizing.
-Give me a round figure, Mr. Scott.
-I can't believe we've come this far only to be stopped by this! Scotty, is there any way dilithium can be re-crystallized?
-What is it? I thought I told you never to call me --
-Sorry, Admiral. We just thought you'll like to know, we're beaming them now.
-It's going slow, sir. It'll be well into tomorrow.
-Not good enough, Scotty. You've got to do better!
-I'm ready Spock. Let's go find George and Gracie...
-Scotty: Are the whale tanks secure?
-Stay with me, sir -- I need more power curve...
-How long, Scotty?
-Admiral! There be whales here!
-Well done, Mr. Scott. How soon can we be ready for warp speed?
-I'll have to re-energize.
-Stand by, sir. Miracle worker at work...
-Mr. Scott, don't make jokes, we are in danger of -
-Full power, sir.
-Ironic. When man was killing these creatures, he was destroying his own future...
-You better get up there, sir. We're having some power fall-off...
-The whales...?!
-No power to the bay doors.
-The explosive override -- ?
-It's under water! There's no way to reach it...
-Go on ahead... Close the hatch!
-Excelsior? Why in God's name would you want that bucket of bolts?
-Admiral, I'd like to continue my work on the ship until you leave.
-Thank you, Lt. Saavik.
-And... Here is a deposition I have made. If it is not sufficient, I will return to Earth to testify.
-Don't concern yourself, Saavik. Your leave has been granted for good and proper cause. How are you feeling?
-I am well, Admiral.
-Well, Saavik. I guess this is goodbye.
-Even as the Federation negotiated a peace treaty with us, Kirk was secretly developing the Genesis torpedo! Conceived by Kirk's son and test detonated by the Admiral himself! The result of this awesome energy was euphemistically called "The Genesis Planet..." A secret base from which to launch the. annihilation of the Klingon people! We demand the extradition of Kirk! We demand justice!
-Genesis was perfectly named: The creation of life not death. It was the Klingons who had first blood while trying to possess its secrets.
-Vulcans are well known as the intellectual puppets of the Federation!
-Your vessel did destroy U.S.S. Grissom. Your men did kill Kirk's son. Do you deny these events?
-We deny nothing! We have the right to preserve our race!
-Don't know anything about it? I find it difficult to believe that I've come millions of miles --
-Professor Scott, if you'll --
-With pleasure.
-Well, that's different.
-If you'll follow me, Professor --
-I will. Can my assistant come, too?
-Doctor Nichols, I might have something to offer <u>you</u>.
-... Yes?
-I notice you're still working with polymers.
-Sill? What else would I be working with?
-Ah, what else indeed? Let me put it another way: how thick would a piece of your plexiglass need to be at 60 feet by 10 feet to withstand the pressure of 18,000 cubic feet of water?
-That's easy: 6 inches. We carry stuff that big in stock.
-Yes, I noticed. Now suppose -- just suppose -- I could show you a way to manufacture a wall that would do the same job but was only an inch thick. would that be worth something to you, eh?
-Hello? Computer...?
-Just use the keyboard...
-Transparent aluminum?
-That's the ticket, laddie.
-Hi.
-Hi. Huey 205, isn't it?
-Right on. You fly?
-Oh, here and there. I flew something similar in my Academy days.
-All right, then this is old stuff to you.
-Father...?
-I will be returning to Vulcan within the hour... I wanted to take my leave of you.
-It is kind of you to make this effort.
-It is not an effort. You are my son. Besides; I am most impressed with your performance in this -- crises.
-As I recall, I opposed your enlistment in Starfleet... It is possible that judgment was incorrect. Your associates are people of good character.
-They are my friends.
-Yes, of course... Do you have any message for your mother?
-Ojichan? Akira ojichaan dewa naino? Koko de nani shiteru no?
-Gomen nasarei. Hito chigai de gozaranuka na. I'm sorry, my son. You have mis- taken me for someone else.
-Chotto omachi nasarei. Namae wa nanto moosareruka na. Wait my son. What is your name?
-Sulu Hikaru.
-Ah, sorenara mazu mazu nagaiki wo sareru to mira. Ah... Then I am sure that you will have a long and happy life.
-We were under the impression they were being held against their will.
-My people have a strict policy of non-interference with other cultures. In fact, it's our Prime Directive.
-Your directive apparently doesn't include spying on other cultures.
-You have warp capability?
-I understand how you feel. We just want to retrace Data's movements that day...
-Why?
-I don't like to leave questions unanswered.
-I know what a hologram is, Captain. The question is -- why would someone want to create one of our village?
-Deceive us?
-Don't panic...
-There's an unusual metaphasic radiation coming from the planet's rings. It continuously regenerates the cells in our bodies. You must have noticed the effects by now.
-Clearly, the architects of this conspiracy have tried to keep it a secret. Not just from you, but from my people as well. I don't intend to let them.
-We've always known that to survive, we had to remain apart. It hasn't been easy. Many of the young people here want to know more about the offland... they're attracted to stories of a faster pace of life...
-Most of my people who live that faster pace would sell their souls to slow it down.
-But not you.
-There are days.
-You don't live up to your reputation as an offlander, Picard.
-In defense of offlanders, there are many more like me...
-... who wouldn't be tempted by the promise of perpetual youth? I don't think so.
-The craftsmanship is extraordinary.
-This is a school... that's a student's work. She'll be ready to become an apprentice soon. Then, in thirty or forty years, she'll take her place among the artisans...
-An apprentice for thirty years. We've noticed your people's mental discipline. Did that develop here?
-More questions. Always the explorer. If you stay long enough, that'll change.
-Will it?
-You'll stop reviewing what happened yesterday... stop planning for tomorrow... until you find... Let me ask you a question -- have you ever experienced a perfect moment in time?
-A perfect moment?
-When time seemed to stop... and you could almost live in that moment...
-Seeing my home planet from space for the first time...
-Yes. Exactly. Nothing more complicated than perception. You explore the universe. We've discovered a single moment in time can be a universe in itself... full of powerful forces... most people aren't aware enough of the now... to ever notice them...
-I wish I could spare a few centuries to learn.
-There's one thing I don't understand. In three hundred years...you never learned to swim?
-I wonder if you're aware of the trust you endanger, Jean-Luc Picard. In my experience, it's unusual for...
-... an offlander?
-When we're forced away by the terrain, we'll use transport inhibitors to compensate. The mountains have the highest concentrations. Once we're there, transport will be virtually impossible...
-There are caves in those mountains.
-Jak'tahla?
-Right beyond that ridge is where the caves begin... we can hide for days...
-How is it a woman like you never married? And don't tell me you "just haven't gotten around to it yet"...
-What's the rush?
-There's a cavern at the base of the next hill...
-You're Ro'tin, aren't you...? There's something in the voice. Would you be his friend Gal'na? I helped your mother bathe you when you were a child. She still speaks of you.
-Mother and son. You arranged this...?
-But I have three hundred and eighteen days of vacation time coming. I plan on using them.
-Do you really think your mighty Federation would be interested in protecting six hundred people?
-There is no need for concern. I am operating within normal parameters now.
-You're what?
-My father told me I shouldn't talk to you.
-I understand.
-Not everyone here agrees with him. I mean, you know, about machines. There was even a big fight about it once. Do you like being a machine?
-I aspire to be more than I am.
-I know why. So people like us won't be afraid of you any more.
-Don't you ever get tired?
-My power cells continually re- charge themselves.
-Perhaps it would surprise you to know that I have often tried to imagine what it would be like to be a child...
-Really?
-Really.
-For one thing, your legs are shorter than everyone else's.
-But they are in a constant state of growth. Do you find it difficult to adapt? A child's specifications are never the same from one moment to the next. I am surprised that you do not... trip over your own feet.
-Sometimes I do.
-But you've never had adults telling you what to do all the time... or bedtimes... or having to eat food you don't like...
-I would gladly accept the requirement of a bedtime in exchange for knowing what it is like to be a child.
-Do machines ever play?
-I play the violin... and my chess routines are quite advanced...
-Chase me!
-For what purpose?
-Because you're it. And if you tag me... then I'm it.
-But I can run much faster than you... I am capable of exceeding forty-seven meters per second...
-Data... haven't you ever just played... for fun?
-Androids... don't have...fun.
-Why not...?
-No one's ever asked me that before.
-Anij!
-Tournel will take you the rest of the way...
-No... I want to stay with you...
-I have to go home now.
-Can he breathe under water?
-Data doesn't breathe.
-Won't he rust?
-To many offlanders, what you have here would be more valuable than gold-pressed latinum. And I'm afraid it's the reason that someone is trying to take this world away from you.
-The artificial lifeform was right?
-Captain, the Son'a hostages declined to be examined. I had them confined to quarters.
-And our people?
-They all have slightly elevated levels of endorphin production... probably the result of the environmental anomalies here...
-Are they in any danger?
-Not at all. They're fine... in fact, they're better than fine. Increased metabolism, high energy, improved muscle tone. We should all be so lucky.
-You either need a new uniform or a new neck.
-'Yew-cheen chef-faw'... My collar size is exactly the same as it was at the Academy.
-Very funny...
-Prepare to transport the 'hostages' to the ship...
-Will he live?
-She's stabilizing.
-Is it safe to move her?
-Hello, Data...
-Captain, Geordi...?
-Yes... that looks like them.
-What's the last thing you remember, Data...
-'his nose should pant and his lip should curl...'
-From the mission...
-I believe the boy is... afraid... of me.
-It's nothing personal data. You have to remember these people have rejected technology. And you...
-... I am the personification of everything they have rejected.
-Until this week, that young man probably never saw a machine, let alone one that walks and talks...
-Tricorder functions are limited due to heavy deposits of kelbonite in these hills...
-A ship,
-It is clearly Federation in origin, Captain.
-Incomplete, I might add.
-... it is conceivable I was shot to protect the secret of its existence.
-Why would the Federation or the Son'a wish to move the Ba'ku?
-Captain, I've activated transport inhibitors around the village...
-How many?
-I'm showing fresh air behind this calcite formation, Captain...
-Will the structure hold if we blast through?
-Your Federation procedures have made this mission ten times as difficult as it needed to be...
-Our procedures were in place to protect the planet's population from unnecessary risk...
-Take us into a high orbit. Lie down, Admiral. The girls will take twenty years off your face...
-Your self-restraint puzzles me, Admiral. You continue to deny yourself every benefit this mission has to offer...
-Your android has turned dangerously violent, Captain... Considerable damage was done to my ship. He must be destroyed.
-It isn't safe for you to remain in this area.
-Take me down. Let me talk to Picard.
-Talk... we should send down an assault team and take them by force.
-That is not an acceptable option. If people get hurt, all the support we have in the Federation...
-I'll order Riker to turn around.
-You're not going to launch anything until...
-We're taking this ship out of here... this mission is over...
-It is not over.
-I do not take orders from you.
-You have no idea what precipitated his behavior?
-... And now he's holding our people hostage down there...
-The Enterprise can be at your position in two days, Admiral...
-That's probably not a good idea. Your ship hasn't been fitted for this region; there are environmental concerns...
-What kind of concerns?
-Captain, I wasn't expecting you.
-This was too important for the Enterprise to be on the sidelines, Admiral...
-I wish I had better news. Commander Data attacked us in the mission scout ship yesterday. Ru'afo and I have decided to send in an assault team...
-All right. You have twelve hours, Captain. Then I want you out of The Briar Patch. In the meantime, we'll be heading out to the perimeter to call for Son'a reinforcements in case you fail.
-Understood.
-... and because they have warp capabilities, the consequences to their society are minimal...
-You've done a terrific job, Jean- Luc. Now, pack your bags and get the hell out of there. How's Data?
-In stasis. La Forge is completing the diagnostic.
-I'll need all your paperwork tomorrow. We're heading back your way. Set a course to rendezvous with us so you can transfer the crew and equipment on your way out.
-You're not finished here?
-You're looking well, Jean-Luc. Rested.
-Your "Briar Patch" turned out to be more hospitable than I expected.
-That's why we put chromodynamic shields in place - so our people wouldn't feel the effects from the metaphasic radiation...
-... or understand that they were participating in the outright theft of a world. I won't let you move them, Admiral. I'll go to the Federation Council...
-I'm acting on orders form the Federation Council.
-How can there be an order to abandon the Prime Directive...?
-The Prime Directive doesn't apply. These people are not indigenous to this world. They were never meant to be immortal. We'll simply be restoring their natural evolution.
-Who are we to decide the next course of evolution for these people?
-There are six hundred people down there. We'll be able to use the regenerative properties of this radiation to help billions. The Son'a have developed a procedure to collect the metaphasic particles form the planets rings...
-A planet in Federation space...
-Right. We have the planet and they have the technology -- a technology we can't duplicate. You know what that makes us? Their partners.
-Our partners are nothing more than petty thugs.
-On Earth, petroleum once turned petty thugs into world leaders. Warp drive transformed a bunch of Romulan thugs into an empire. We can handle the Son'a, I'm not worried about that...
-Someone probably said the same thing about the Romulans a century ago.
-With metaphasics, lifespans will be doubled... an entire new medical science will evolve... I understand your Chief Engineer has the use of his eyes for the first time in his life... would you take his sight away from him?
-There are metaphasic particles all over The Briar Patch. Why must this planet be...
-The concentration in the rings is what makes the whole damned thing work. Don't ask me to explain it. I only know they inject something into the rings that starts a thermolytic reaction. After it's over, the planet will be unlivable for generations.
-Delay the procedure. Let my people look at the technology.
-Our best scientific minds already have. We can't find any other way to do this.
-Then the Son'a can establish a separate colony on this planet until we do...
-It would take ten years of normal exposure to begin to reverse their condition. Some of them won't survive that long. Besides, they don't want to live in the middle of The Briar Patch... who would?
-We are betraying the principles upon which the Federation was founded... this is an attack on the very soul of the Federation. This will destroy the Ba'ku. Just as cultures have been destroyed in every other forced relocation throughout history.
-We are only moving six hundred people, Jean-Luc.
-Order them to surrender, and I promise you won't be court- martialed.
-I wonder... which one of us will be facing that court-martial...
-A coward... without the moral courage to stop an unspeakable atrocity. You offend me.
-Is this how a Federation officer begs for his life?
-What you're asking me to do... is impossible... the crew is loyal to Ru'afo...
-Do you know how to disable the injector?
-But I would need at least three minutes on the bridge.
-If we could lure him away from the bridge...
-It doesn't matter where he is. As soon as he realizes something is happening, he'll override my commands with one word at his com- link...
-The countdown control has been transferred to the collector...I can't override...
-Gallatin! So the righteous Starfleet Captain finally released you. Did you encounter any problems on the surface?
-No, sir. But it wasn't easy... being among them...
-The injector performs perfectly in every simulation...
-Sir, as the Enterprise left orbit, one of their support craft went down to the surface. It appeared to be the Captain's Yacht. Five persons on board.
-They're following the kelbonite deposits... using the interference to block our transporters...
-There is an alternative to an all- out assault. Isolinear tags would allow our transporters to lock on to them.
-Admiral Dougherty will not be joining us for diner. Deploy the collector. Do you have a problem with those orders?
-May I talk to you alone?
-Moving them is one thing. Killing them all...
-Separate the Starfleet personnel and secure them in the aft cargo hold... see that Picard joins them...
-The shields in that section won't protect them against the thermolytic reaction...
-I want our guests to depart as quickly a etiquette allows. I'll ask Worf to delay his return to DS9 so he can join us. We're going to stop by sector four-four- one on our way to the Goren system.
-They... are in opposite directions, sir...
-We're about to lose communications with Starfleet, Captain.
-The torque sensors are out of alignment... by twelve microns... you could hear that?
-I took these out of Data's neural net... they contain memory engrams...
-Do you know how they were damaged?
-By a Son'a weapon. There's no doubt about it, sir. That's what made Data malfunction.
-The Son'a reports claim they didn't fire until after he malfunctioned.
-I don't believe it happened that way.
-Why would they fire at him without provocation?
-All I know is that he was functioning normally until he was shot. Then, his fail-safe system was activated...
-Fail-safe?
-His ethical and moral subroutines took over all of his basic functions...
-So, you're saying he still knew the difference between right and wrong.
-In a sense, that's all he knew. The system is designed to protect him against anyone who might try to take advantage of his memory loss.
-Implants bothering you?
-Funniest thing, Captain. There wasn't anything wrong with my implants. There was something right with my eyes. When Doctor Crusher removed the ocular connections, she found the cells around my optic nerves...
-... had regenerated.
-A photon torpedo. Isn't that the universal greeting when communications are down?
-Full impulse.
-The manifold can't handle full impulse in the Patch, Commander.
-If we don't outrun them, the manifolds are going to be the only thing left of this ship.
-Will that stop the tear?
-You got me, Commander.
-That's your expert opinion?
-We're pulling it like a zipper across space...
-Options?
-Aye, sir. Highly volatile...I recommend we keep our distance...
-Negative. I want to use the ramscoop to collect as much of it as we can...
-I wouldn't be surprised if history remembers this as the Riker Maneuver...
-If it works you mean.
-I don't think they believe us.
-Sir, they've detonated an isolytic burst... a subspace tear is forming...
-The tear is closing on us... impact in fifteen seconds...
-The purpose being I intend to shove it down the Son'a's throat.
-Commander, if one of their weapons hits that gas...
-Commander, I'm showing two Son'a ships on an intercept course.
-How long 'til they reach us?
-What's inside that nebula cluster?
-Cometary debris, pockets of unstable metreon gas... we don't want to go in there, sir...
-I thought subspace weapons were banned by the Khitomer Accord...
-We're still thirty-six minutes from transmission range, sir.
-They're powering their forward weapons array.
-They need us to mediate some territorial dispute...
-We can't delay the archaeological expedition to Hanoran Two. It would put us into the middle of monsoon season...
-The Diplomatic Corps is busy with Dominion negotiations.
-'Yew-cheen chef-faw.'
-Who is it?
-... and gorgonzolla cheese.
-We won't be able to go any faster than one-third impulse in that muck...
-Nothing dangerous turned up in the astrometric survey...
-So where are the 'environmental concerns' the Admiral was talking about?
-Admiral Dougherty wants to know why we haven't left yet...
-Deck five.
-Prepare the ship for departure at oh-seven-hundred hours.
-You must be planning on doing some hunting.
-There's a short letter I left you all, just some... sentimental nonsense... the computer will bring it to your attention at oh- four-hundred... I'd just as soon you delete it...
-The Council has ordered a halt to the Ba'ku relocation while they conduct a top-level review.
-My name is Sojef, Captain.
-Jean-Luc Picard... my officers Doctor Crusher and Counselor Troi.
-Would you like something to eat?
-No, we're here to... rescue them.
-We came here from a solar system on the verge of self- annihilation... where technology had created weapons that threatened to destroy all life. A small group of us set off to find a new home... a home that would be isolated from the threats of other worlds. That was three hundred and nine years ago.
-You've not aged a day since then?
-I wish there was a way to bring them back home.
-Ask them.
-Bridge to Captain Picard. We are approaching sector four-four-one.
-I... I must have slept through my alarm. I'm on my way...
-Worf to Picard...
-Yes... yes, I... can hear you...
-Worf, you must hurry...
-We're coming as fast as we can... we can't risk using phasers...
-Captain...
-I've already modified a tricorder with one of his spare actuation servos. Its operational range is only seven meters but it should shut him down...
-Sensors are not picking up any ships coming from the surface...
-Transmit a wide band co-variant signal. That'll get his attention.
-He might be using the planet's rings to mask his approach.
-Come out, come out wherever you are...
-Sir?
-Sir, if we fire a tachyon burst, it may force him to reset his shield harmonics. When he does, we could beam him out...
-Direct hit. He's resetting his shield harmonics...
-He's activated a transport inhibitor.
-Scanners are off line!
-Do you know Gilbert and Sullivan?
-No, sir. I haven't had a chance to meet all the new crew members since I've been back...
-Sir, inertial coupling is exceeding tolerance... if we don't release him, he may destroy both vessels...
-The damping sequencer was damaged by phaser fire!
-Did any of the hostages mention a cloaked ship during their debriefings?
-No, sir...
-Debrief them again. Have you been in a fight, Commander?
-No, sir. It is a gorch.
-Doctor Crusher asked to talk to you when you returned...
-Should I distribute phasers to the Ba'ku, sir...?
-You need a haircut, Commander.
-The Ba'ku could use some rest, sir. According to the geo-scan, this may be the safest area for the next few kilometers...
-Isolinear tags. Their transporters can lock onto them.
-All injector sub-systems are confirmed off-line.
-One. It's Ru'afo.
-Can you beam him off?
-Negative. He's established a security field around the control room...
-... Population three hundred million...
-Say the greeting again...
-Oh, my God, are they vegetarians? That's not in here...
-We've downloaded all the files on the duck blind mission as well as intelligence reports on the Son'a.
-Counselor?
-The Son'a discovered an M-class planet with humanoid life six months ago. Turned out it's in us to get approval for a sociological study. The Federation Council suggested it be a joint mission...
-Why was Data assigned?
-I don't see anything to suggest the Son'a have any interest in sociology...
-What are they interested in...?
-Wine, women and song.
-Nomadic, collectors of precious metals, jewels...
-Hmm, I should feel right at home with them...
-Why would we be involved with these people?
-You haven't done that in a long time...
-What...?
-What you're doing to my neck...
-It says here that some form of genetic damage has apparently prevented the Son'a from procreating...
-No children?
-Come in. Hi.
-Got a minute? I... need a little counseling. First time for everything. Do I... lie down... or what?
-This isn't one of the usual therapeutic postures...
-But it's comfortable.
-Why don't you try sitting up?
-Or you could try lying down.
-Both. I think I'm having a mid-life crisis...
-... I believe you...
-... I'm not sleeping well...
-What I need, I can't get from Doctor Crusher... Counselor, do you think it's possible for two people to go back in time to fix a mistake they've made?
-Augh.
-Augh?
-All hands. Battle stations!
-Initiate launch sequence.
-Exactly as the simulations predicted...
-Sir, I am not showing any change in metaphasic flux levels...
-Your scanners must be malfunctioning.
-This ship is equipped with fourteen long range transporters... are they all useless...?
-They must have been locked and secured after we were beamed here.
-The new quantum torpedoes are doing the trick, Jean-Luc. We've destroyed forty-seven Borg ships so far... and only lost fifteen of our own. But one of the Borg ships has broken through our defenses, and it's heading directly for Earth. Can you handle it?
-Absolutely.
-Good hunting. Hayes out.
-Admiral... what's the status of the Borg fleet?
-It's been destroyed. The Borg threat is over. Are you all right? The Enterprise disappeared from our sensors for a moment.
-We're fine, sir. It will take some... time to explain.
-Montana. Energize.
-Go where? Hello? Is anyone going to tell me what we're doing here?
-We're here to find Zephram Cochrane. He may be injured or dead.
-Cochrane... the inventor of warp drive?
-Yes...
-But he's been dead for three hundred... Oh God... we've gone back in time again, haven't we?
-I'm afraid so. If the Borg succeed in preventing First Contact with the Vulcans... Earth will remain in the Second Dark Age... an easy target when the Borg arrive in the 24th century.
-It's Cochrane.
-It's not the radiation... and there's nothing wrong with the combadges... the Enterprise just isn't responding.
-Jean-Luc, this man needs medical attention, now.
-What are we waiting for? Let's go.
-It may not be that simple. This is an extremely difficult and paranoid time in human history.
-Are you saying they won't help us?
-I'm saying they might shoot us on sight. You have to remember... these people have watched their entire way of life collapse around them.
-There must be some good people... even in this time.
-He's stable... for now. But it would be better if we could contact... our friends.
-Yes. But until then, you'll have to make do with what you've got.
-I have to go back to the silo. Will you be all right?
-You actually performed surgery...?
-But I had a little help. Surgical transporter. I used it to beam out most of the bone fragments from his brain.
-How did Doctor Almack react to that?
-He was so confused by what I was doing, I don't think he even noticed. Any word from the Enterprise?
-Not yet.
-You think they're still up there?
-If they're not... we'd better get used to living in Montana.
-Regardless of how I may feel about Ruby... our fates lie along different paths. Nothing can change that.
-You want some advice? Don't do this again. You know exactly what I mean.
-Beverly, there were many reasons why you and I...
-How long has he been unconscious?
-Is it Japanese?
-Um... yeah. Now he's going to need a respirator. Do you have one?
-His automatic reflexes are fluctuating. We've got to get him on a respirator.
-The occipital fracture is widening... we're going to have to fuse the bones...
-You are the guiding intelligence behind the Borg...?
-Have you ever wondered what it's like to have flesh?
-You've taken your first step toward perfection. How does it feel?
-I do not know what you are referring to.
-Do you know what this is, Data?
-It would appear that you are attempting to graft organic skin onto my endo-skeletal structure.
-No. I will not betray my friends.
-They're not your friends... they've held you back... kept you from your destiny...
-That is not true. They have tried to help me.
-Have they given you what I have given you? Did they even try?
-You're becoming more human all the time, Data. Now you're learning how to lie.
-I wish to... go back to the way I was.
-Have you ever know a woman? Do you know what it's like to feel her breath on your face... her skin against yours... flesh against flesh?
-My creator did not intend for me to experience these things.
-I am... grateful for what you have given me. But I still do not wish to be assimilated.
-Yes...
-I've deactivated the sensory inputs. That flesh on your body is just meat, now.
-Isn't it better like this...?
-Yes... but the Enterprise... my duty...
-No... no, it's so... empty... please... give it back... I need it...
-There is a perimeter alert. A ship has entered sensor range.
-Vulcan?
-Your diagnostics are in error. I need weapons.
-The problem must lie in the interface between Starfleet and Borg technology. Your console may not be configured to handle the data flow.
-Can you configure it?
-I believe so.
-Dispersive armor is holding.
-The Borg ship has modified its shields, Captain. Our phasers will no longer be effective.
-We are approaching the Terran System, Captain.
-Go to impulse. Where's the Borg ship?
-It has entered Earth orbit. Correction -- it is not in orbit. It is heading directly toward the surface.
-I have helm control.
-The vortex is collapsing, sir.
-What year is it?
-Mister Data, I want to know the exact date and time. Give me a damage report on that missile silo.
-But now... they are all one with the Borg.
-I am unlike any lifeform you have encountered before. As an android, I am in complete control of my neural net. The information contained there cannot be forcibly removed.
-Who are you?
-I am the Borg.
-That is a contradiction. The Borg act as a collective consciousness. There are no individuals.
-The planet's surface is covered with Borg technology. So is the moon... and three other planets in this solar system.
-Did you know her?
-Data... are you sure you're all right?
-I am still having difficulty integrating certain emotions into my programming. Grief, loss, remorse...
-No. Human beings do not have that luxury, and neither should I.
-"APR cell count?" What the hell are you talking about?
-Juice?
-Where's the battery room for the hospital?
-I told you, there's no --
-Where?
-What did you do to the batteries?
-Captain, I'm starting to worry about the hull integrity. We've been running the support field at full power for three hours straight. I don't know how much longer it's going to hold up.
-I have the silo, sir. Bearing three one zero... distance, three hundred meters.
-This must be it.
-How serious is the damage?
-I'm having trouble scanning underground. There's a lot of radiation leaking from something.
-I'm picking up faint life signs twenty meters below.
-Alphanumeric lock. We need a password to get in...
-Blast door. It's designed to protect the control room when the missile is launched.
-Picard to Enterprise. Enterprise, please respond.
-This used to be the throttle valve assembly. It controls the thrust of the engines. It's been completely vaporized... and without it, there's no way to launch the ship.
-Can you reconstruct the throttle valve?
-Yeah... if I knew what it looked like. There's probably five hundred ways to design a valve like this...
-We need to launch this ship in under eighteen hours... There must be some design schematics... blueprints...
-Maybe... Sure. Yeah. As long as I could get a clear look at the intake configuration. But so far, we haven't found any other photos.
-Where's you get the alloy for the throttle itself?
-Ready to make a little history?
-Always am.
-We can't leave her out there. When the ship launches... she'll be killed.
-Tell her to go back to Resurrection.
-Captain --
-Captain... we've got less than ten minutes before that Vulcan ship leaves the system. We've got to go <U>now</U>.
-No... the door's too thick.
-Then we'll just have to assume it's still there...
-What's still there?
-Solid rocket fuel at twenty-five thousand kilograms...
-Altitude fifty kilometers...
-Entering the upper ionospere...
-There's a red light on the second intake valve.
-Ready to deploy the warp nacelles.
-The Vulcans should be out there right now. We need to break the warp barrier in the next five minutes if we're going to get their attention.
-Bring the warp core on-line. I'll lay in a heading.
-The nacelles are charged... nuclear warhead standing by. We're ready to ignite the warp drive.
-Passing one-half light speed. The starboard nacelle's running a little hot...
-The inertial dampers are having trouble compensating... I don't think Cochrane built this thing for comfort.
-There's no temporal shielding in here! We're starting to pick up relativistic effects!
-Captain, the Enterprise!
-Their com system must still be down.
-They're getting awfully close... what the hell are they doing?
-Are we on schedule? The Vulcan ship will be here in less than two hours.
-It'll be tight, but we should make it.
-What about our warp signature? It has to be strong enough for them to detect.
-I've enhanced the plasma injectors -- don't worry, they'll see it.
-ATR setting...
-Active.
-Main bus...
-Ready.
-Oh... yes... ultraviolet protection. Thank you. Mister...?
-Lieutenant, actually. Lieutenant Jonathan Scrimm. I'm the head of the Resurrection Protective Force. And you are?
-Jean-Luc Picard.
-Great name. French?
-Yes.
-Where in the States?
-Oh... here and there. You know how it is.
-Where are you from most recently?
-California. San Francisco.
-Beautiful city. Used to be, anyway. I didn't think anyone still lived there.
-That was a pretty clever trick you did with the hospital's batteries. How'd you do it?
-It wasn't a trick. I used to be an electrical engineer.
-And what were you doing out at the missile silo?
-I'm an old friend of Cochrane's... I wanted to see how he was doing.
-Lucky for him you came by when you did. He might be dead now.
-Yes.
-Maybe you can tell me what he's been doing in that silo. We heard some explosions out there this morning...
-You seem to have an answer for everything.
-Something wrong with that?
-What do you want?
-The invasion plans.
-Invasion.
-There is no invasion...
-From another planet. Oh, I almost forgot... they have green blood and pointed ears.
-And you know all this... because <U>you're</U> a space-man too...
-Take care of him. He's a very special man.
-What are you, an idiot? Didn't you see the red light was on?
-Ah... yes... but, I didn't realize that --
-Cochrane?
-Yes... and I only had enough silver halide for one shot. So you're lucky you didn't screw it up.
-Did you need something?
-Yes... I wanted to ask you about some photographs I saw out at the silo. There were three of them... printed on some kind of fabric.
-Bed sheets. I used my last set of bed sheets to make those prints. Not the best material, but I haven't seen a clean piece of paper in five years.
-"Money." So you can get dome money...
-I can try.
-No... but sometimes I feel that way. What I meant was, I'd be willing to trade for the photographs.
-Trade. Okay. The photographs... for a straight answer. Who are you? And how do you know Zephram?
-I'm an old friend... I met him when he was doing his undergraduate work at Cornell back in --
-What?
-You're lying.
-What makes you say that?
-You're not someone who lies very easily... so it's obvious when you do... at least to me.
-Were the two of you... involved?
-No... not like you and Doctor Crusher used to be.
-Ruby... I need to talk to you about those photographs. It's very important.
-I'm sure it is. But it'll have to wait until tomorrow.
-It can't wait until tomorrow...
-I'd say you already have.
-Okay, let's hear it. I'm sure you have a great explanation for why those rocket photos are so important you broke into my house.
-We're trying to repair Doctor Cochrane's ship. It's been damaged and --
-We?
-Myself... and a few other friends of Zephram's.
-Friends from Cornell...
-Some.
-Lie. That's one. Keep going.
-A key piece of the ship has been destroyed... and our only hope to reconstruct it is if one of your photographs shows us what it looked like.
-All right. Truth. I believe that one. Why is it so urgent you couldn't wait until morning?
-We have to launch his ship by tomorrow afternoon.
-Why are you being so difficult? All I'm asking for is to look at one of the photographs. It'll take five minutes.
-And all I'm asking for is the truth. That would take five minutes. For all I know, you caused the explosions at the silo... and now you're trying to steal Zephram's ship.
-You're leaving, aren't you?
-I have to...
-Where? And don't tell me San Francisco...
-No. It's a lot further than that.
-It's the future, isn't it? Just like you told Scrimm. I knew you weren't from around here.
-No... I'm from France.
-I don't care if you're from France or Venus... just take me with you.
-That's impossible.
-Why?
-This may be hard for you to understand... but I'm duty-bound not to interfere with you, or anyone else here... any more than is absolutely necessary.
-Signal the Endeavor to fall back. We'll cover them.
-Incoming transmission from the Borg.
-Life signs?
-Captain...?
-Track their weapons fire.
-Port battery, ready sir!
-Time travel... they're attempting time travel... Full power, Mister Data. Worf, quantum torpedoes at my command!
-Captain, there are five Borg ships closing in on our position.
-Hull integrity down to thirty percent...
-Captain, I've found the Borg Sphere. It's on the far side of the planet...firing at the surface.
-Intercept course, full impulse. Weapons status?
-Phasers are off-line... we have two quantum torpedoes left. But the computer targeting system has been destroyed.
-Target locked!
-Worf, have Doctor Crusher, Mister La Forge and a security team meet me in Transporter Room Three. Civilian clothes.
-Incoming transmission from Starfleet Command. Admiral Hayes.
-We're caught in some kind of energy wake from the vortex...
-They must've done it in the past... they went back and changed history...
-Report.
-We're still in Earth orbit.
-Looks like they damaged the silo...
-Life signs?
-Captain?
-In twenty-four hours, Zephram Cochrane is supposed to conduct the very first warp test... from a missile silo in Montana. If I'm right, the Borg were trying to change the course of human history by killing him or destroying his ship.
-And if they succeed, humans won't make First Contact with the Vulcans tomorrow. As First Officer I should be the one beaming down...
-Good luck, sir.
-Return to our own time?
-Yes, sir.
-Yes, sir. But Captain... are we... all going back?
-Unless you'd like to stay.
-Casualties are light, Captain. Minor buckling on the port nacelle. Nothing serious.
-I have assigned two damage control teams to locate the source of our communication problems. So far, they've had no success.
-A ship-wide decompression has been initiated!
-What the hell is happening, Worf?
-We saw at least thirty...and there are twenty-two Enterprise crewmembers reported missing... including Commander Data.
-To control the Enterprise, they'll have to gain access to one of two locations. Main Engineering... or the Bridge.
-What are they doing?
-They're re-routing the deflector power conduits...
-They're connecting the conduits to subspace communications...
-We have to stop them from sending that message.
-Agreed. Options?
-You will have to realign the targeting array of the quantum torpedo... and reprogram the warhead for the localized detonation. There's only one torpedo left...
-I guess I'd better get it right the first time.
-Are you alright?
-Just a little queasy...
-Try not to look at the stars... keep your eyes on the ship.
-Right.
-And Commander, whatever you do... do <U>not</U> vomit in your exo-suit. It would be... unpleasant.
-Worf! I'm going to need at least five minutes!
-Report!
-We've lost Bridge control!
-Emergency override!
-Report.
-Someone...?
-The Borg. Some of them must've beamed over before we destroyed their ship. Seal off that entire deck with emergency force fields.
-Wil... Data was down there.
-All right... we've lost control of eight decks... three Cargo Bays... one Shuttlebay.
-They're bypassing Engineering...
-To do what? If they wanted a weapon, they could've taken over a phaser bank or torpedo bay...
-I remember it made me sick.
-What are you suggesting?
-I have to admit there was a moment there when --
-Worf to Bridge.
-Riker here.
-Worf to Bridge. We're about to enter the Environmental Control Room.
-Worf? Is something wrong?
-What the hell happened down there, Worf?
-No response. I'm not reading any Starfleet com traffic in this entire sector.
-Captain, they're firing at a nuclear missile silo... in central Montana.
-Are we in any danger of being detected by Earth defense systems?
-Even Data?
-They may be trying to send a message to the other Borg...the Borg in this time period...
-Mr. President.
-Admiral Donald...Bill...
-Mr. President we cannot allow Federation citizens to be abducted.
-I'd prefer not to be the President to push the button if I can avoid it.
-The longer we wait, the less accessible the hostages will be, Mr. President.
-Good luck, Captain.
-I believe the operation is over.
-I'm going to perform surgery on a torpedo - you never know...
-You may need assistance, doctor...
-Bet you wish you'd stood in bed...
-Spock, that was actually funny.
-Calm yourself, doctor, the operation is almost complete...
-Pity they're retiring us just as I was starting to understand you, Spock...
-Or not to be -
-Uh, Jim...
-What the Hell's going on?
-Sweet Jesus...! He's lost a lot of whatever this stuff is...
-Can you - ?
-No!
-Thanks...
-Figures.
-Bones, why don't you see what you can do? Let them know we're not holding a grudge.
-Three months till retirement. What a way to finish.
-We're not finished.
-- <U>Kobayashi Maru</U>...
-Bones, are you afraid of the future?
-That was the general idea I intended to convey.
-I didn't mean this future.
-Are we playing multiple choice?
-Some people ARE afraid of the future; of what MIGHT happen; I was frightened, really frightened.
-Specifically of...?
-No more neutral zone. I was USED to hating Klingons... that's why I failed in our assignment. It never even occurred to me to take Gorkon at his word. Spock was right.
-Well, don't be too hard on yourself - we all felt exactly the same -
-Uh uh. Somebody felt much worse. And I'm starting to understand why.
-What is it with you, anyway?
-Still think we're finished?
-What kind of creature is this? Last night you two were spooning -
-Jim, leave me - I'm finished...
-It's the viridium patch Spock slapped on my back right before we went aboard Gorkon's ship.
-That cunning little Vulcan...
-Once we're beyond the shield they should be able to pick it up two sectors away.
-If they're even looking for us...
-ARE YOU CRAZY?
-Damned clever if you ask me...
-ABSOLUTELY NOT!
-Time we got underway ourselves, gentlemen. Once again, we've saved civilization as we know it.
-And the good news is they're not going to prosecute.
-Perhaps with a few small steps at a time. Like this one.
-We're explorers not diplomats!
-Captain, when we get to Camp Khitomer, how will we defend ourselves? I mean, if this new Bird of Prey can fire while she is invisible...?
-This is fun...
-Too bad we can't SMELL her.
-They don't arrest people for having feelings.
-Are you carrying a surgeon?
-We were until your torpedoes!
-Doctor McCoy, what is your current medical status?
-For 27 years I have been Ship's Surgeon and later Chief Medical Officer aboard the USS Enterprise. In three months I'm due to stand down.
-Stand...?
-Retire.
-Was Chancellor Gorkon alive when you first examined him?
-Barely.
-I didn't have the knowledge of Klingon anatomy I needed.
-I was nervous -
-You were incompetent! - whether deliberately or as a result of age combined with drink this court will determine.
-I tried to save him! I was desperate to save him! He was the last best hope in the universe for real peace.
-I don't believe we can get more out of the way than this.
-They'll make it look like an accident...
-What are you in for, if you don't mind me asking?
-They'll respect him now...
-It takes a lot of effort.
-I don't wonder. Stop me if I'm wrong but do we really have any way of knowing if this is the real you?
-I've always wanted to meet you, Captain.
-Would you care to go topside?
-"To be or not to be, that is the question" which preoccupies our people, Captain Kirk. We need BREATHING room...
-My God, what happened here?
-You feign ignorance?
-WHAT HAPPENED?
-He's a DOCTOR!
-Under article 184 of Interstellar Law, I place you both under arrest. You are charged with assassinating the Chancellor of the High Council.
-He just tried to save him!
-What?
-Isn't it a fact that you served Romulan ale, a beverage illegal in the Federation because of its overwhelming potency?
-And you still maintain your ship did not fire on Kronos One? Would you have known if she had? Come now, Captain. The record clearly there were no other ships in the sector.
-There... were no other ships in the sector.
-Did you have occasion to refer to your ship's data banks during that night?
-I checked the data banks, yes.
-And what did they tell you?
-And now we come to the architect of this tragic affair, Captain James Tiberius Kirk. I put it to you, Captain, that you were seeking revenge for the death of your son.
-That isn't true...!
-Are those your words?
-Yes.
-Spoken by you?
-Yes...
-Louder, please. We cannot hear you.
-You were demoted...
-Yes.
-For insubordination.
-I have on occasion disobeyed orders.
-You deny Enterprise fired on KRONOS One?
-Well, I -
-You deny that your men beamed aboard KRONOS One and shot the Chancellor?
-I cannot confirm or deny actions which I did not witness.
-Captain Kirk, are you aware that under Federation law, the Captain of a Starship is considered responsible for the actions of his men?
-I am.
-As Captain I am responsible for the conduct of the crew under my command.
-Where is Mr. Sulu?
-Captain, you're not going to show them the bridge??
-Just the size of my head -
-Torpedo room--?
-Captain, if they fire at us with our shields down --
-Get close enough to a man and you can kill him on "Stun" without setting off the alarm - of course you can't get rid of the body...
-From Starfleet?
-Where IS the conference?
-She's here - somewhere.
-But if she's cloaked...
-Shields. Battle stations.
-Mr. Chekov, take us forward, thrusters only, one half impulse power...
-Mr. Chekov, slow down. Take us forward, thrusters only, one quarter impulse power.
-Course heading, Captain?
-They're preparing to fire.
-You're forgetting something. the data banks say WE fired. If we did, the killers are here; if we didn't, whoever altered the data banks is here. Either way, what we're searching for is here...
-What ARE we searching for, Mr. Spock?
-Klingon blood.
-They must have walked through it when it was floating and tracked it back here.
-This is the first evidence that corroborates our theory.
-Now we go to Starfleet?
-Now we expand our search to include uniforms.
-Mr. Spock, Rura Penthe's deep in Klingon territory. If we're discovered...
-You must have cursed yourself, for having programmed our data banks, Lieutenant. Only they revealed something wrong aboard Enterprise.
-Aye, sir.
-Captain, I'm getting a message from Klingon High Command.
-An INCIDENT?
-Do we report this, sir?
-Send to commander Enterprise: "We stand ready to assist you. Captain Sulu, USS Excelsior." Attach our co-ordinates.
-This is KRONOS One. I am Chancellor Gorkon.
-Chancellor. We've been ordered to escort you through Federation space to your meeting place on Earth.
-Thank you, Captain.
-We'd be delighted to accept your gracious invitation.
-We'll make arrangements to have you beamed aboard at 1930 hours.
-Chancellor, may I present Commander Spock, whom I believe you know, Dr. Leonard McCoy, chief medical officer, Montgomery Scott, chief engineer...
-Your research laboratory is most impressive...
-Starfleet's been charting and cataloging planetary atmospheres. All vessels are equipped with chemical analytic sensors...
-Thank you, Captain Kirk. The evening has been most... edifying.
-I've heard of chameloids - "Shapeshifters" - I thought you were mythical.
-An accident wasn't good enough...
-Your friends are late...
-Isn't it about time you became something else?
-What took you so long?
-Kill him! He's the one!!
-He wants your obedience to the Brotherhood of Aliens.
-He's got it.
-And your coat.
-Fraid not. It wouldn't fit him, anyway.
-How did you know...?
-We don't get many presidential assassins.
-We didn't kill Gorkon.
-How much time's left of your sentence?
-That's not his knee. Not everybody keeps their genitals in the same place, Captain.
-When whoever it is makes their move, you won't be here to ask if he's the one.
-Listen. No one has ever escaped from Rura Penthe.
-Except us.
-I know how to get outside the shield.
-Where do we come in?
-Getting outside the shield is easy. After that it's up to you to get us off the surface before we freeze. Can you?
-Possibly.
-I can't make it alone. You're the likeliest candidate to come to this god-forsaken place in months.
-Maybe if their particles just got a wee bit mixed...
-Stand down your weapons.
-Captain, if --
-Stand DOWN, Mr. Scott. All stop. That's an order.
-This is incredible -
-As you were. Lieutenant...?
-Aft thrusters -
-Thank you. Lieutenant, one quarter impulse power...
-Aye, sir.
-Plot a course for Kronos, Lieutenant.
-Kronos, sir?
-I'm still in the chair, Lieutenant.
-Sorry -
-Come on, Saavik, you COULD knock -
-We're almost at the rendezvous - I thought you'd want to know...
-I gather you are not enthusiastic about the assignment... I don't think many on board are.
-You piloted well out of spacedock, Lieutenant -
-I always wanted to try that.
-Uhura, hailing frequencies. Right standard rudder, bring us alongside...
-I hope you're happy.
-Saavik, you know anything about a neutron energy surge?
-Sir?
-Captain, our shields -- !
-Who is "US?"
-I won't allow Starfleet to be dismantled over some Klingon promises.
-Just the prototype.
-This is Captain Sulu, USS Excelsior.
-Sulu!
-Standing by, Captain Kirk.
-You understand that by even talking to us, you're violating regulations, Captain.
-I'm sorry, Captain - your message is breaking up.
-Bless you, Sulu. Where's the peace conference? They're going to attempt another assassination.
-The Conference is at Camp Khitomer, near the Romulan border. I'm sending the exact coordinates on a coded frequency.
-I'm afraid we may need more than that. There's a Bird of Prey on the lookout for us. And she can fire while she's cloaked.
-Surely not.
-I'm getting underway now. But you should know, I'm in alpha Quadrant. The chances of my reaching the conference in time are slim.
-When does this conference start?
-According to my information, today.
-Thank you, Captain Sulu.
-Me?
-I have personally vouched for you in this matter, Captain.
-WE volunteered?
-There's an old Vulcan proverb: only Nixon could go to China.
-How could you vouch for me? That's... ... arrogant presumption -
-I was asked by my father to open neg-
-I know your father's the Vulcan Ambassador for heaven's sake, but you know how I feel about this: they're animals.
-Jim, there is an historic opportunity here -
-DON'T TRUST THEM. DON'T BELIEVE THEM -
-They're dying.
-Lieutenant, I am pleased to see you. The Lieutenant is the first Vulcan to be graduated at the top of her class as the Academy.
-Never been this close.
-I believe the Captain feels that Starfleet's mission has always been one of peace -
-I don't believe our own conduct will distinguish us in the annals of diplomacy...
-What is it?
-I am uncertain.
-Spock, I'm really tired...
-We are reading an enormous amount of neutron radiation.
-Where?
-Curiously it appears to emanate from us.
-What the -
-We HAVEN'T fired -
-I am responsible for involving you in this. I will go.
-I'M going. You are going to be responsible for getting me out of this. Meantime we're not going to be the instigators of a full-scale war on the eve of universal peace.
-Captain...
-The Klingons have a new weapon: a Bird of Prey that can fire while cloaked. She torpedoed Gorkon's ship.
-The peace conference.
-What peace conference?
-I've been dead before. Uhura, raise Excelsior. She ought to have the co-ordinates.
-Why would they give them to us?
-Are you dining on worms?
-You were right: it was arrogant presumption that got us into this situation. You might have died.
-I was blind. I couldn't see past the death of my son. I couldn't trust.
-I too was blind. I knew about HER - and I did nothing. I trusted too much.
-You couldn't have known she was listening the night I dictated that entry into my log. You were proud of her achievements as a Vulcan.
-I was PREJUDUCED by those achievements.
-Can we two have grown so old and inflexible that we have outlived our usefulness? Would that constitute a joke?
-Someone said the difference between comic and cosmic is the letter "S." You haven't outlived your usefulness - to me. And you are not responsible just because she is also Vulcan -
-I SHOULD have been -
-Not for the actions of another. No one is responsible for any actions but his own. Human beings -
-But I am not human. I am only -
-Close enough to beam down?
-Captain, perhaps we're going about this the wrong way; our job is to get to the conference; HER job will be to stop us.
-What's she waiting for?
-But we haven't run out of history just yet. Your father quoted Hamlet: he called the future - "the undiscovered country"...
-I always assumed Hamlet meant death.
-The only way to find out if a man's trustworthy...
-Control tower, reading, Sir.
-Channel open, Captain.
-Captain --
-WE SURRENDER.
-It's pretty chaotic over there. There's been some weapons fire and a lot of shouting...
-Gorkon's own man??
-Uhura?
-Captain, we can't see her, but she gives off heat...
-You have done well, Saavik. As your sponsor at the Academy I have followed your career with... satisfaction. And as a Vulcan.
-Sir, I speak to you as a kindred intellect. Do you not recognize that a turning point has been reached in the affairs of the Federation?
-You must have faith.
-Faith...?
-But we can't allow them to be taken back to Kronos as prisoners.
-How did you - ?
-Her own father...?
-Any reply from Starfleet to our dispatch, Lieutenant.
-Not as yet, sir.
-Curious. You haven't been assisting Commander Uhura with her radio transmissions, have you, Lt?
-Commander Uhura has been experiencing technical difficulties sir.
-Very well. For twenty-four hours we'll agree that this conversation did not take place.
-A lie?
-Any progress?
-We've got a crew of three hundred turning their own quarters inside out, but the killers may be among them. Surely they've disposed of these boots by now. Wouldn't it have been logical to leave them on Gorkon's ship?
-Suppose when they returned they threw the boots into the garbage?
-A lie?
-If you are logical.
-I don't want to.
-But it was when you tried to persuade me the Captain was guilty that I should have understood.
-Perhaps neither of us was hearing very well that night, Lieutenant. There were things I tried to tell you too - about having faith.
-Direct hit -
-Trouble?
-We've been ordered to -
-In nineteenth century France, workers who felt their livelihood threatened by machines, flung their wooden shoes - called SABOTS - into the gears to stop them. Hence the word SABOTAGE.
-We can send a message to Starfleet Command -
-Sorry to wake you, sir, but Starfleet urgently requests any data we may have on the whereabouts of Enterprise.
-What?
-Apparently they're refusing to acknowledge signal to return to spacedock, sir.
-Signal Starfleet that... we have no idea location of Enterprise.
-Sir?
-You having hearing problems, mister?
-According to this we've completed our exploration of the entire sector.
-Fifty-four planets - and their gaseous atmospheric anomalies. Our sensing and analytic equipment worked well.
-I have an energy wave from 240 degrees mark six port --
-Don't tell me that was any meteor shower.
-Negative. The subspace shockwave originated at bearing three-two- three, mark seven-five, the location is... Praxis. A Klingon moon. Barren of indigenous life forms but -
-I have confirmed the location, sir, but...
-What is it?
-Praxis?
-At least we must keep track of where they are taken, sir. I -
-NO WAY!
-It's as I said, Mr. Spock: Inventory still registers every torpedo.
-Yet the data banks insist we fired: twice. One computer is lying.
-A computer canna lie, sir.
-I think not.
-You can check the torpedoes visually, if you like -
-We'll have to check every one of them, Mr. Scott.
-That could take hours!
-Nevertheless.
-And if they're still in place?
-They don't place the same value on life that we do, Spock - you know that... take my word: she didn't shed one bloody tear...
-Twenty-four hours from now we won't have a clue where the Captain is.
-They dinna fire on themselves. And there were no other ships present.
-There was an enormous neutron energy surge.
-Too far off. Very near us. Perhaps... underneath us...
-If another ship had been beneath us the Klingons would've seen her!
-A Bird of Prey canna fire when she's cloaked!
-This one can.
-They you're talking about a dreadful new engine of destruction, Mr. Spock.
-- could take weeks, sir.
-They're outside the beaming shield. Mr. Scott, start your engines.
-They're naturally wary, ma'am. We've been at war a long time.
-I assume command of this ship as of 0130 hours. Uhura, send to Starfleet HQ. Explain precisely what has taken place, and request instructions.
-Sulu's giving us his position and telling us he's standing by...
-An ancestor of mine maintained that if you eliminate the impossible whatever remains - however improbable - must be the truth.
-What exactly does that mean?
-And they'd be right. We have no evidence - just a theory that happens to fit the facts...
-Even assuming you're correct, Mr. Spock, why would they fire on their own President?
-I've pulled out my - uh wooden shoe and Starfleet is screaming for us to return to port.
-You understand that we have lost all contact with Captain Kirk...?
-I don't think Starfleet could have envisioned our current predicament.
-Under impulse power she expends fuel like any other ship. We call it "Plasma" - I do not know the Klingon name for it, but by any name it is merely ionized gas.
-They might as well arrest me, too; I felt like Lieutenant Saavik.
-Can you tell me how you came to be on the planet where we found you?
-Fuzzy face is gone.
-Yes, please continue.
-Do you know who I am?
-You are me.
-Do you know where you are?
-Can you remember our father?
-Do you know the name of the Captain of this vessel?
-No.
-Brother. I cannot move.
-No, I have only activated your cognitive and communication subroutines.
-Why?
-Because you are dangerous.
-Why?
-You have been programmed to gather information that can be used against this ship.
-I do not understand.
-Do you know anything about Shinzon's plans against the Federation?
-No.
-Do you have any knowledge of the tactical abi1ities of this ship?
-No. Can I move now?
-No. I must deactivate you.
-For how long?
-Indefinitely.
-I notice Dr. Crusher laughing along with the rest of you. As most of you know, the doctor will also soon be leaving the Enterprise, to assume command of Starfleet Medical. Again, I'm forced to ask, Beverly, have you considered what you're doing to little ole’ me?! I'll probably get some old battle-axe of a doctor who'll tell me to eat my vegetables and
-Sort of like losing a son and gaining an empath, isn't it?
-Please, Beverly, this is hard enough.
-When was he... created?
-About twenty-five years ago. They probably used a hair follicle or skin cell.
-It has the ability to consume organic material at the subatomic level. I can't overestimate the danger of Thalaron radiation, Jean Luc. A microscopic amount could kill every living thing on this ship in a matter of seconds.
-Beverly, come in.
-Remember him?
-He was a bit proud as I recall.
-He was a damn fool. Selfish and ambitious. Very much in need of seasoning.
-I so wanted to believe Shinzon. But the Thalaron radiation can't be explained away. Whatever he's after, it's not peace.
-Is he very much like you were?
-Jean Luc, Whatever you were... Right now you're the man you've made yourself. He's someone else.
-Aside from slightly elevated adrenalin and serotonin levels, you're completely normal.
-The more I studied his DNA the more confusing it got. Finally I could only come to one conclusion... Shinzon was created with temporal RNA sequencing. He was designed so that at a certain point his aging process could be accelerated to reach your age more quickly, so he could replace you.
-But the Romulans abandoned the plan.
-As a result the temporal sequencing was never activated. Remember, he was supposed to replace you at nearly your current age. He was engineered to skip thirty years of life. But since the RNA sequencing was never activated, his cellular structure has started to break down. He's dying.
-How long does he have?
-But we do have one advantage. He needs your blood to live. He might come after you first.
-To seek out new life and new civilizations. Zephyr. Cochran’s own words. When Charles Darwin set out on the H.M.S. Beagle, on his journey into the unknown... he sailed without a single musket.
-That was another time.
-You can' t imagine them, Jean Luc. They're kids! All with advance degrees in xenobiology and out to conquer every disease in the quadrant.
-Reminds me of a young doctor I used to know...
-They're running me ragged. Nothing but question day and night... I love it! Come to dinner and 1'1 tell you all about it. There's a Bajoran band at the officer's mess.
-Not tonight, I have work here.
-So... To happy endings.
-Sir. I noticed an interesting confluence of emotion at the wedding. I am familiar with the human concept of tears through laughter and its inverse, laughter through tears, but I could not help wondering about the human capacity for expressing both pleasure and sadness simultaneously.
-I understand why it would seem confusing. Certain human rituals... like weddings, birthdays or funerals evoke strong and very complex emotions. These rites carry great weight with us because they denote the passage of time.
-And you were particularly aware of this feeling because Commander Riker will be leaving to assume command of the Titan?
-Will and Deanna joining the Titan. Dr. Crusher going to Starfleet Medical...
-And this makes you "sad"?
-Well. I suppose it does a bit. I'm very happy for them, of course, but I'm going to miss them. The ship will seem... incomplete without them.
-That is because you have a familiarity with them. You can predict specific reactions and behavior and are comfortable in that knowledge.
-The choices I made have led me here as well. This is the only home I have ever known. I cannot foresee a reason for leaving.
-If I were... I believe my memory engrams would sense the absence of your specific reactions and behavior. I would "miss you."
-Now, you make a toast.
-To new worlds...
-The closest signature is two kilometers to the west... that direction, sir.
-The final signature is approx- imately 300 meters up that incline.
-He is very observant.
-Data!
-Starfleet intelligence was only able to provide a partial account of his military record. We can infer he is relatively young and a capablecommander. He fought seventeen major engagements in the war. All successful. Beyond that, we know nothing.
-Data to Captain Picard. Geordi and I have identified the source of the unauthorized computer access. And, I believe, we have also discovered an opportunity to gain a tactical advantage.
-My mission was a success, sir. I have discovered the source of the Thalaron radiation.
-Good work. The download?
-A bit less florid, Data.
-A weapon.
-Geordi equipped me with the prototype for the Emergency Transport Unit. I recommend you use it to return to the Enterprise.
-It'll only work for one of us.
-Yes, sir.
-We'll find a way off together. Recommendations?
-Alacrity would be appreciated, Commander.
-They are trying to override the access codes. Reman is really a most complex language with pictographs representing certain verb roots and...
-What do you imagine this is?
-Can you open the shuttlebay doors?
-Affirmative, sir. Negative, sir. They have instigated security overrides and erected a force field around the external portals.
-Do you think this is a wise course of action?
-We're about to find out... Power up disruptors and fire on my mark.
-Ready, Captain.
-How long until we reach the fleet?
-"For now we see but through a glass darkly..." He said he's a mirror.
-Of you?
-Yes.
-I do not agree. Although you share the same genetic structure, the events of your life have created unique individual.
-But so much is the same. On a biological level he is... and I will not accept the idea that there is nothing I can do. I have a responsibility to try to make a human connection with him.
-He would deny a "human" connection is possible. He considers himself entirely Reman.
-He may have already rejected my humanity, but you also have a twin
-No, sir, it is not possible. The B-9 is physically identical to me, although his neural pathways are not as advanced. But even if they were, he would not be me.
-How can you be sure?
-We are passing through the Bassen Rift. The projections will return when we have cleared it.
-It's interfering with our uplink from Starfleet cartography?
-Yes, sir. The Rift effects all long-range communications.
-We are losing dorsal shields.
-Captain, we have lost ventral shielding on deck twenty nine.
-We are being hailed.
-Sir, allow me to go. You are needed here.
-Negative.
-Why am I looking at me?
-You are not looking at your- self. You are looking at me.
-You have a red shirt.
-This is not an appropriate time for a conversation.
-Why?
-Because the captain has to concentrate on piloting the vehicle.
-Since positronic signatures have only been known to emanate from androids such as myself, it is logical to theorize that there is an android such as myself on Kolarus III.
-How many of you did Dr. Soong make?
-Isolated pockets of humanoids. It appears to be a pre-warp civilization at an early stage of industrial development.
-Well, he seems to have the same internal mechanics as Data but not as much positronic develop- ment. The neural pathways aren't nearly as sophisticated. I’d say he's a prototype. Something Dr. Soong created before Data .
-At present he serves no useful function. Dr. Soong created us to become active and useful members of society. I do not believe he would have wanted the B-9 to live out his life in his present state.
-I can't believe the Captain went along with a memory download.
-Captain Picard agrees that the B-9 was probably designed with the same self-actualization parameters as myself. If my memory engrams are successfully integrated into his positronic matrix, he should have all my abilities.
-He'd have all your memories too. You feel comfortable with that?
-I feel nothing, Geordi. It is my belief that with my memory engrams he will be able to function as a more complete individual.
-An individual more like you, you mean.
-Yes.
-What purpose does this serve?
-It seems to be a redundant memory port. Maybe it's for provisional memory storage in case his neural pathways overload?
-Dr. Soong must have found it unnecessary in later versions.
-It's possible the extra memory port is interfering with the engram processing. Mind if I keep him here and run some diagnostics?
-But I believe he will prove incapable of performing higher functions.
-Don't give up hope, Data. I know, I know, you're not capable of hope.
-We have lost structural integrity on decks twelve through seventeen, sections four through ten.
-What is our approximate distance?
-It appears to be... ... an arm.
-Why is it moving?
-It's you.
-No.
-If you wouldn't mind.
-Really, Captain, it was a lovely toast.
-The least I could do for you, Deanna. Besides, you know me... I’m a talking head.
-And you needn't worry. I'll brief your new counselor on everything she needs to know.
-May I have this dance?
-Counselor.
-Do you have a moment, sir?
-It's about Data I've watched him with the B-9 and I'm troubled. Data's desire for a "family" is very strong. I'm afraid he may be investing too much in the B-9.
-You're speaking of emotional investment?
-The B-9 is like a slow child, sir. And Data, in his own way, has assumed the position of a parent or guardian. I'm afraid he has expectations based on his own experiences. He'll be disappointed when the BI-9 cannot meet those expectations.
-As much as we care for him, Deanna... we have to remember that Data isn't capable of disappointment.
-I'm going to miss you.
-I would say he's been trained to resist telepathy. What I could sense of his emotions were erratic, very hard to follow.
-Is he sincere about wanting peace?
-Sir, the strongest sense I had was that he's more than urious about you. He very much wants to know you. The same way you want to know him.
-How could I not?
-Captain, don't assume he's anything like you are. You should resist the urge to think you know him.
-Shinzon's Viceroy seems to have the ability to reach into my thoughts. I've become a liability... I request to be relieved of my duties.
-How can you be certain?
-Captain -- I might have a way to find them.
-Counselor?
-The one thing he may have forgotten in the course of battle: me.
-But how can he? He'll kill you.
-I'm only half human.
-Imzadi. This is so good.
-He can never know you as I know you... He can never touch you as I touch you.
-This isn't real.
-I'll always be with you now. Now and forever.
-You're not here.
-No.
-Captain Picard, Commander Donatra of the Warbird Valdore. Might we be of assistance?
-Your timing is impeccable, Commander.
-The Empire considers this a matter of internal security. We regret you've become involved.
-I'm afraid that drink will have to wait, Captain.
-Do you have life support?
-
-Open a channel.
-This is Commander Donatra of the Valdore. We're dispatching shuttles with medical personnel and supplies.
-It's very faint but I've isolated it to the third planet in the Kolarin system.
-What do we know about the planet?
-Uncharted. We'll have to get closer for a more detailed scan.
-I read six distinct positronic signatures, spread out over a few kilometers on the surface.
-Cannon fodder.
-It's going to take some time to find out -- the data stream was rerouted through substations all over the ship.
-What programs were accessed?
-That's what I don't get -- it's mostly basic stellar cartography: star charts; communications protocols; some uplinks from colony tracking stations. It's not even restricted material.
-Set up a security program to detect any unusual data stream rerouting. If it happens again, we want to be ready.
-I thought Thalaron radiation was theoretical.
-Which is why our initial scans didn't pick it up. But he's got it, Captain.
-It's called a Cascading Bio- genic Pulse. The unique properties of Thalaron radiation allow the energy beam to expand almost without limits. Depending on the radiant intensity it could encompass a ship... or a planet.
-He's getting his cloak back. We have exhausted our compliment of photon torpedoes. Phaser banks are down to four percent.
-What's he doing?
-He thinks he knows exactly what I'm going to do.
-Sir?
-Geordi, put 211 power to the engines. Take it from life support if you have to -- everything you can give me.
-Aye, sir.
-Deanna, on my mark.
-How long until he can fire?
-Prepare for a site-to-site transport.
-Sir, we won’t be able to bring you back. It’s a one way trip. Captain, I don't know if the transporter...
-You have the bridge, Commander. Use all available power to move away from the Scimitar. Now, Mister La Forge.
-Sir, we're being hailed.
-Geordi... prepare the shuttle- bay for arrivals. They don't know our procedures so just... open the doors.
-I'll take care of it, sir.
-Admiral Janeway. Good to see you.
-
-With or without the rest of the fleet?
-A diplomatic mission. We've been invited, believe it or not. Seems there's been some kind of internal political shakeup. The new Praetor, someone called Shinzon, has requested a Federation envoy.
-New Praetor?
-Believe me, we don't under- stand it either. You're the closest ship so I want you to high tail it over there and hear what he has to say. Get the lay of the land, If the Empire becomes unstable, it could mean trouble for the entire quadrant.
-Understood.
-
-Not with the Romulans.
-
-Just lucky, Admiral.
-Enterprise. We are the Reman Warbird Scimitar.
-Praetor Shinzon, I'm pleased to...
-So, human... you've met your better self!
-What are you doing to Counsellor Troi?
-I'm preparing her for Shinzon. To sooth him as she soothes you. To stand at his side as she does at yours.
-That will never happen.
-It would take me but an instant to tear that valiant heart from your chest.
-There'll be another after me. And another after that. You'll find we're a resilient species.
-I won't do it.
-Won’t do what, Mister Worf?
-Captain. I think it is inappropriate for a Starfleet officer to appear... Naked.
-I'm picking up an unusual electromagnetic signature from the Kolarin system.
-To find the head, sir?
-Sir, I recommend we raise shields.
-No!
-Captain!
-Tactical analysis, Mister Worf.
-We're being hailed.
-Sir, we've had an unauthorized access into the main computer.
-Worf, prepare a full phaser spread, zero elevation. All banks on my mark. Scan for shield impacts and stand by photon torpedoes.
-Sir, we're being hailed.
-Coordinate our attack with the Valdore's tactical officer. Triangulate fire on any shield impacts.
-Captain, the Hemingway has arrived to tow us to spacedock.
-What's this?
-Diverting to the Kolarin system takes us awfully close to the Romulan Neutral Zone.
-I think it's worth a look. Don't worry, Number One, we'll get you to Betazed with time to spare.
-Thank you, sir...
-Captain, I hope I don't have to remind you --
-I appreciate your concern, Number One, but I've been itching to try out the Argo.
-Sir --
-Captain, you have an Alpha Priority communication from Starfleet Command.
-We have to assume he had Romulan collaborators.
-A coup d'etat?
-Why don't they answer our hails?
-It's an old psychological strategy, Number One. To put him in a position of dominance and make us uneasy.
-It's working.
-Captain, with all due respect to diplomatic protocols -- the Federation Council's not sitting out here, we are.
-She's not out for a pleasure cruise.
-Not very chatty.
-He wasn't designed to live a complete, human life span.
-Sir?
-His hatred of the Federation is apparent. He would have built a weapon of that scope for one reason. He is going after Earth.
-Oh boy. Destroy humanity and the Federation is crippled.
-Strength in numbers?
-Report.
-Counselor Troi, report to the bridge.
-Unless we can disable his cloak we're just going to be firing in the dark.
-The Titan's a fine ship, will. And she's getting a captain worthy of her.
-But she's not the Enterprise.
-I promise you in time, she'll become your home ...If I could offer you one piece of advice?
-Anything.
-When your first officer insists that you can't go on away missions... Ignore him.
-Serving with you has been an honor.
-I hope you'll forgive the darkness... we're not comfortable in the light.
-And you're not as we imagined you.
-Praetor?
-I am, Commander Riker... May I touch your hair?
-On the world I come from there's no light. No sun. Beauty isn't important. I see now there's a world elsewhere.
-Praetor Shinzon. We’re not here to discuss your lack of a social life.
-Yes, I'm sorry, Captain. There's so much we have to talk about.
-I would be interested to know what we are talking about.
-I want to end the centuries of mistrust. I want to be your ally, not your enemy. As a first step I propose we eliminate the Neutral Zone and begin a free and open exchange of goods and ideas.
-And the Senate supports you?
-Right now, you’re thinking this all sounds too good to be true?
-Yes.
-But you're also thinking the chance for peace is too promising to ignore. Above allyou're trying to decide if you can trust me.
-Yes.
-No one knew what to do. Finally I was taken to a doctor who had some experience with Terran illnesses and I was finally diagnosed with Shalaft's syndrome. Do you know of it, Captain?
-We need to talk, just you and I.
-Come to dinner on Romulus tomorrow. Just the two of us. Or just the one of us.
-You know I need to verify this.
-And when I was ready they were going to replace you with me, an exact biological duplicate. Put a Romulan agent at the heart of Starfleet to.influence your command structure. It was a bold plan.
-What happened?
-Romulan ale -- I'm surprised. I can't stand it.
-It's not quite the face you remember.
-Not quite. I envy the hair- line.
-A lifetime of violence will do that. My nose was broken four times. And my jaw... But so much is the same. The eyes, you recognize the eyes.
-Yes. The eyes have it.
-Our eyes reflect our lives, don't they? Yours are so confident.
-How did you end up on Remus?
-For thousands of years the Romulan Senate has met in this chamber and dictated the fate of its sister-planet... But the time has come for us to live as equals.
-You're doing this to liberate the Remans?
-You don't trust me.
-I have no reason to.
-Of course you do. If you had lived my life and experienced the suffering of my people... you’d be sitting where I am now. At least I hope you would.
-And if you had lived my life you would understand that there is a great respons- ibility in representing the Federation. I can't let my personal feelings unduly influence my decisions.
-I want to know where I come from. The Remans gave me a future. You can tell me about my past.
-There's so much, and so much of it is dull...
-Were we always explorers?
-No. I was the first Picard to leave Earth. It caused quite a stir, In fact. But I had spent my whole life...
-Looking up at the stars.
-Yes.
-And you dreamed about what was up there. About...
-After you, Praetor.
-So I'm not as tall as you expected?
-I always hoped I would hit two meters.
-With a full head of hair.
-Shinzon... I'm trying to believe you.
-I know.
-If there's one ideal the Federation holds most dear it's that all men, all races, can be united. From the first time the Vulcans came to Earth we've sought a future of peace. Nothing would make me more proud than to take your hand in friend- ship. In time. When trust has been earned.
-In time, Jean Luc.
-Hello, Jean Luc.
-Why am I here?
-What are you doing?
-All of this so you could capture me?
-Maybe I'll train it to do little tricks for me like your robot does. Or maybe I’ll snap its ugly head off.
-What's this all about?
-It's about destiny, Picard. About a Reman outcast who...
-You're not Reman.
-And I'm not quite human. So what am I? What do you see? Do you see a life you might have led? Lost youth never to be recaptured?
-I see a young man trying desperately to deny who he is.
-I see an old man, set in his ways, afraid to live without a uniform to prop him up and a Starfleet regulation to tell him what to do. I see the man I will never be.
-I won't defend my life to you.
-My life is meaningless as long as you're alive. What am I while you exist? A shadow? An enigma?
-If your issues are with me... This has nothing to do with my ship and nothing to do with the Federation.
-Oh, but it does. We will no longer bow like slaves before anyone. Not the Romulans and not your mighty Federation. We're a race bred for war. For conquest.
-Think about what you're doing, Shinzon. Are you ready to plunge the entire quadrant into war to satisfy your own personal demons?
-It amazes me how little you know yourself.
-I'm incapable of such an act, and so are you.
-You can't trace my holographic emitters, Captainn. So don't bother. And you can't contact Starfleet. We're quite alone.
-We are.
-It's just the two of us now, Jean Luc, as it should be... Your ship and mine... You and me.
-Why are you here?
-To accept your surrender. I can clearly destroy you at any time. Lower your shields and allow me to transport you to my ship.
-And what of the Enterprise?
-I have little interest in your quaint vessel, Captain. If the Enterprise will withdraw to a distance of one hundred light years, it will not be harmed.
-You know that's not possible.
-I know... you'll all gladly die to save your home world.
-I know you as well as I know myself, Shinzon. There was a time you looked at the stars and dreamed of what might be.
-Long ago.
-Not so long.
-Childish dreams, Captain. Lost in the dilithium mines of Remus. I'm what you see now.
-The man who is Jean Luc Picard and Shinzon of Remus won't exterminate the population of an entire planet! He is better than that!
-Yes.
-So if I gave you my life, what would you do with it? Would you spend the years in a blaze of hatred as you are now? Or could you change? Could you try to remember a mother's touch you never felt? A father's words you never heard? Could you do that?
-I don't know.
-That's your life... not mine.
-Please.
-It’s too late.
-You can still make a choice! Make the right one now!
-I hope you're still alive, Jean Luc.
-I am.
-Praetor, we've received the transponder signal.
-Report!
-Target disruptors. Destroy them.
-Deploy the weapon. Kill everything on that ship. Then set a course for Earth.
-What about Picard?
-Our greater goal is more important, brother.
-Well, that sounds relaxing too.
-So they’ve got him up and running.
-He's a very unusual android.
-My God...
-Minimal damage to the Scimitar.
-Believe it or not, I think the cavalry has arrived.
-Intruder alert!
-Are we prepared?
-This is a mistake.
-He's gentler than I thought. And he has a sense of humor.
-Don't forget our mission, Shinzon. We should act. Now. Time is running out.
-The bond is broken.
-Find her again.
-No -- this is wasting time.
-It's accelerating. You have no more time for games.
-How long?
-How long until we reach the Rift?
-Let her pursue -- drop cloak on the aft port quadrant and prepare for full emergency stop.
-What?!
-Praetor...
-What is it?!! Focus on your job!!
-Join us, Commanders. Now what's the disposition of the fleet?
-They're holding position.
-And?
-They will obey, Praetor.
-How many Warbirds will you need?
-Praetor. You have the whole fleet at your disposal. They supported the coup, they'll follow you.
-The Scimitar will serve my needs.
-But surely...
-Then I don't understand the reason for the delay!
-You don't have to understand.
-And bringing the Enterprise here?! What possible purpose could that serve?
-I have a purpose.
-Then perhaps you will enlight- en us?
-You must learn patience, Commander. Do you know where I learned it? In the dilithium mines of Remus. Spend eighteen hours every day under the ash of a Romulan guard’s whip and you'll soon understand patience.
-Praetor.
-The Enterprise is immaterial! They won't make it back to Federation space.
-
-I thought we discussed patience, Commander.
-Commander Suran, the games are over. In two days the Federation will be crippled beyond repair. Does that satisfy you?
-For the moment.
-Benny, God, take it easy...
-Right in line with that burning tree.
-I don't see anything.
-Benny, there's nothing there.
-There is. They came out of the belly of the ship and then went to the first terrace and flew down into the houses.
-What did I tell you?
-Don't you think you should call a backup?
-Mike, call for back-up. Benny, you all right?
-I don't think so...
-Gate three. It's boarding now.
-Thank you.
-What can I do for you folks?
-How much are your rooms?
-You have one with two beds?
-Sure.
-I'll take that.
-Fill this out. Will this be cash or credit card?
-Credit card.
-I'll have to run your card off now.
-We're only going to be here a few hours...
-Do you have a good map of Death Valley?
-Food. Eat. I prepare food. I work as a cook. That's how I make money.
-I understand.
-What do you do?
-I make maps.
-Hey, that sounds interesting. You like it?
-Eh... yes.
-Make any money?
-No.
-Do you have children?
-No.
-What do you think of America?
-Well, here we are... You go down that ramp there, you're sure to get a ride.
-Thank you.
-No!!! No!!!
-Where did you stop last?
-What the hell do you think you're doing?
-Where did you stop last?
-Stay right there...
-What was your last stop?
-Elmo's...
-Where's that?
-We're going... Damn! We'll tell the press that there was an accident. Chemical warfare spill. That cover cannot be violated in any way. Understand me, Shermin?
-Major Bell here, sir. We have to tell these people that we're friendly. That this whole thing was a mistake. Is anyone trying to contact the ship?
-Recognize this?
-It's a copy of the plaque NASA sent into space on the Pioneer probes.
-Houston found it in the extraterrestrial's suit.
-It's real, George.
-There's no mistake? You're absolutely sure?
-I saw it with my own eyes. We've killed an extraterrestrial and...
-Is there any possibility that it's a hoax? Could you be mistaken?
-None. And there's another one in the area that's alive. I don't know if it's the only one. I don't know if it was left here by accident or it's part of an inva...
-Get the body out of there. Load it on the Air Force chopper and get it to Wright Patterson. They'll take it from there... We didn't expect this, Shermin.
-We'll need a lot of help, George. You could hide an army up here.
-I'm going to the White House right now. I'll try and get you everything you need.
-Contain it and get back to me.
-Then it's not an accident that they found us.
-We don't think that's necessarily bad. At least it's a point of contact.
-Not necessarily bad! If they knew we were here why didn't they let us know they were coming?
-We'll get those answers when you find the one you're looking for.
-That's not going to happen, George, unless you get us the help you promised us.
-We've been back and forth on this all day and keeping in mind the panic that would occur if this got to the general public, it's been decided not to expand the search at this time.
-Don't let them do it this way, George. It's too important. We can't find this thing alone.
-George, we've just confirmed the existence of the live extraterrestrial.
-When can we expect containment?
-Well, we're in pursuit of a green Mustang...
-It's in a green Mustang?
-Why did you let it get into a populated area?
-It's taken on a disguise.
-Clarify that.
-The extraterrestrial now looks like this.
-You sure you want this, because... that's putting an awful lot of faith in people we have no control over...
-I'm afraid the situation demands that kind of risk.
-I don't like it, George...
-Dammit Shermin. Earlier you were asking for help. What's changed?
-It's messy... the thing's got a gun... We're just asking for somebody to get killed...
-We don't know what else to do. We need results.
-You'll get results one way or the other, that's for sure... Okay.
-We're growing very concerned back here. There's no use pretending otherwise. We're rapidly approaching a 'condition red.' People are beginning to ask difficult questions.
-I'll make this as simple as I can, George. They disappeared.
-I don't care where you're from you just can't disappear into thin air.
-George, listen to what you're saying. This thing's changed itself into a man. Disappearing may not be that big a deal.
-Maybe... look, this is just something to think about... from what I got at the shopping center, it was more scared than anything else... I don't feel it's as big a threat as you think it is...
-Is that what's affecting your performance?
-I'm not being unpatriotic, and I'm doing my damndest to catch them. Bell's up on 80 and I'm down here on 70 past Grand Junction. They're heading west. If they're not flying we have a damn good chance of getting them. All I'm asking is that you people think about it.
-Hello George.
-Shermin...
-What's all this for?
-We have a new directive. I'm taking over.
-We don't have to do it that way. We can catch him this time.
-Washington thinks it's too late for that.
-I've never been taken off an assignment in my life. Give me twenty- four hours and I'll have him for you.
-You're not hearing me.
-You can change a directive, George. You've done it before. Listen to me. He's going somewhere in Death Valley. Lathrop Wells was never anything but a bus stop. East is the nuclear site. There are no roads in there. She was teaching him to hitchhike. I'm telling you. We block the four roads into Death Valley and we got him.
-We'll do that. But how are we going to hold him? He can change himself into a man. He can disappear.
-That's the chance we have to take.
-No, we don't.
-Then you're going to have to do it without me.
-You're a career intelligence officer, Shermin. You'll be in the air with us.
-No deal.
-George... Do you hear me, George?
-What?
-I just retired.
-Mrs. Haydn...
-This is George Fox...
-I want to speak to Marc Shermin.
-You can speak to me, Mrs. Haydn. I'm in charge of this operation now.
-If I don't speak to Mr. Shermin, I'm hanging up.
-I won't let anyone hurt you.
-This is Marc Shermin. Where are you, Mrs. Haydn?
-I don't know. Someplace called Elmo's. Look, I just wanted to tell you that I'm all right and I'm on my way home.
-You've been through quite an ordeal, Mrs. Haydn. Why don't you stay where you are and let us pick you up? We'll fly you home.
-Is the man who kidnapped you there now?
-I told you. He let me go. I'm on my way home.
-Mr... I'm sorry, what was your name again?
-Marc Shermin.
-Mr. Shermin, I'm hanging up now. If you want to ask me any questions, call me at home in a couple of days. I'm in the book.
-Mrs. Haydn...
-He doesn't want to hurt anybody. Please leave him alone.
-Please...
-Please.
-Please...
-What?
-Ah... no...
-Steering wheel...
-Steering wheel.
-Steering wheel.
-Gear shift.
-Gear shift.
-Dashboard.
-What?!
-Eh... police.
-Steering wheel... gear shift... dashboard...
-Good.
-Which way?
-What?
-What?
-What?
-Pancakes.
-What?
-Money.
-Mi-chi-gan driver li-see-ens... Jennyhaydn... Money?
-What?
-Smile.
-Smile... good?
-What?!
-Minneapolis.
-Minneapolis... Minneapolis...
-Minneapolis... good.
-No gas.
-No gas.
-No gas... car dead. We need gas. I don't want to get shot for running out of gas.
-Gas good?
-Go.
-It's closed... closed. We need one that's open.
-Closed?
-What?
-Who is he? Who is she? Who are you? Who am I? Who are you?
-I am Jenny Haydn.
-Who are you?
-That's a big help. Where are you from?
-From?
-Are you from up there? Space?
-Space?
-Gas.
-No gas.
-Who?
-My... husband.
-I am husband?
-Shit.
-Shit?
-No, no... don't say that. Bad word.
-Shit... shit... what shit?
-Who?
-Attendant. He'll give us gas. Put the gun down. Under the seat. Under the seat...
-No.
-In your pocket, please...
-You. Mouth closed.
-Satisfied? Now get out. Out.
-Money.
-What?
-What is... ...Coke?
-A drink.
-I...
-You want to try it?
-I want to try it.
-What's the matter?
-Horses.
-What?
-That was a red light!! I told you you have to stop at a red light!!
-It was yellow.
-I will see it next time.
-Why are you going here? What is here?
-When do you have to be here?
-I do not understand.
-Sun...
-Yes.
-Sun... day. No sun... night. You understand?
-Yes. Day... night.
-How many days and nights do you have to go... ...here?
-Three nights... two days.
-That's not much time. I'll just slow you down. I have to sleep. I'm very tired. And I have to wash and eat. You don't...
-I need you.
-I won't tell anybody if that's what you're worried about. I promise. You'll keep...
-No.
-You'll keep the car. I'll take a bus... Am I going up there with you... in your ship... up there?
-No.
-Then let me go. You don't need me.
-No.
-Do you understand what I'm saying to you? You can keep the car. That should be enough for gas from here to there. Please let me go.
-The closest I was able to get you was Lathrop Wells...
-Is that a baby?
-Yes.
-A baby is a new person?
-Eh... yes...
-Do you have a baby?
-No... The closest...
-Why?
-I'd love to have a baby. But I can't...
-Why?
-But I must go here.
-I know that. But the buses don't go there.
-What is hitchhike?
-Say it.
-'Salt Lake City, please. I do not speak English.'
-The driver will...
-But I speak English.
-Will you please do it my way? You'll get into trouble if you don't. If anybody talks to you, tell them... I do not speak English.
-I do not speak English.
-Right. In Omaha the driver will put you on the bus for Salt Lake City and the new driver will take... ...this part. When you get to Salt Lake City, ask the driver, 'Las Vegas, please'...
-'Las Vegas, please. I do not speak English.' What is hitchhike?
-You want this ticket?
-Yes.
-'Lathrop Wells, please. I do not speak English.'
-Your thumb tells the driver that you want a ride.
-The car will stop?
-When do I get to Lathrop Wells?
-Don't worry. They're not going to hurt you. Come on. Only show this to the driver. Nobody else. And don't lose it.
-Can I have the gun?
-Don't be afraid. Do what I told you and you'll be okay.
-Well... I'm going to go now.
-Go?
-Yes. I have a long ride ahead of me... Goodbye.
-Jennyhaydn.
-Yes?
-Goodbye.
-What?
-What happened?
-Why did your ship land on this planet... on Earth?
-You thought we were a different planet?!
-No. My ship was doing a map of all the suns and...
-Stars... When a sun is far away, we call it a 'star.'
-We were doing a map of the stars and all the other things up there when we saw a small ship. My... eh... we kidnapped it. On it there was a map that said how to come to Earth. This was very important. Before then, we thought we were the only people in all the stars.
-You did? That's funny. So did we.
-Yes?
-Yes.
-We told our home, and the people who tell us what to do on my planet said to come and look but not to talk, not to land, not to shoot. Just to look from up there. We came and... the driver of my ship...
-The captain...
-The captain wanted to land to see close and to get some things from Earth to take home. The police came and shot at us. One of the people from my ship was killed.
-Oh, that's terrible. I'm sorry. Was he a good friend?
-I don't understand 'friend.'
-A friend is a person that is good to you... someone you like to be with... someone you like to laugh with...
-He was a good friend... The captain took the ship away fast and I was not in the ship.
-The police shouldn't have started shooting. But you can hardly blame them. You surprised them. They didn't know you were up there. When they saw you, they thought you were here to hurt us.
-I understand.
-Sounds like your captain's going to get hell when he gets back home.
-What is hell?
-It's bad.
-What are you doing?
-Are you my friend?
-Yes.
-Nobody knows.
-Why?
-I like this music.
-I've noticed... Do you understand what they're saying?
-Do you have music up there?
-Yes.
-I'd like to hear it. Can you sing something?
-I do not want to.
-I am not a good singer.
-That was beautiful.
-You liked my singing?
-Put that back.
-You shouldn't drink so much of that stuff. It's bad for you.
-On the radio they say it's good.
-The machine gave me two. Should I put one back?
-No. Get in.
-You can have one.
-Are you angry at me?
-I told you goodbye. Why are you here?
-The police are waiting for you up ahead. There's a roadblock. You have to go back.
-This car will take me to Las Vegas. I cannot go back.
-If I don't meet the ship, my people will go home without me.
-Please understand. If you go this way, you'll never get to your ship. The police know about Lathrop Wells. We have to go another way. I'll get you to your ship. I promise.
-I will go. But not you.
-You shit! I'll decide if I go or not. Not you. I don't know what you do on your planet, but I didn't think that was very nice walking out on me like you did.
-I don't want you to be hurt.
-Where are you going?
-I must meet my ship.
-Why can't we wait here for a ride?
-I feel better if I move.
-Asshole!!
-Where did you learn that?
-We're not going to get a ride tonight.
-I can't stay on this planet.
-No one's traveling in this weather.
-You promised you would get me to my ship.
-I will. I will. We still have another day.
-You promised.
-What are you saying?
-You can stop. I will go on alone.
-Why don't you send one of your radio balloons and tell your captain that you might be late?
-I used the last one to jump off the cliff...
-Let's find a place out of the rain. I'm sure we'll get a ride in the morning.
-I can't be late. I don't know if the radio balloons work above your planet. I don't know if my words went to the ship. If I'm not there, the captain will think I'm dead and go.
-You are cold.
-You're damn right I am.
-What?
-Good morning.
-Horses.
-You don't forget anything, do you?
-Hello... hello. How are you this morning?
-Do they talk?!
-No, they don't talk... We talk to them.
-Oh, you're pretty...
-They are beautiful.
-Yes, they are.
-You have been very good to me, Jennyhaydn. You said you wanted a baby, so I gave you one.
-But...
-It will be human and it will look like this. But when it comes it will know everything I know and everything you know. That is something from my planet that I want your baby to have.
-I told you it's impossible for me to have a baby.
-The cowboys were right. You can make money fast gambling.
-May I have twenty-five cents, please?
-What for?
-Here are two quarters. When you lose these, you're not going to get anymore.
-This is crazy. We don't have time for this.
-I know how to gamble now.
-You won ten dollars. Big deal. If we don't get a good ride before dark we could miss your ship.
-I want to get money for you and the baby.
-I don't need any money for the baby. I'll be fine.
-Inflation, tuition, college. Children are damned expensive. I know.
-The cook again?
-Yes.
-It'll tell you pretty much everything about us...
-This is very interesting. We are born knowing our history. We have other books. But not a book like this.
-Any words you don't know you can find in the dictionary.
-I understand.
-It'll give you the different countries, how they came to be, what they are now, how America came to be, the governments, the languages... everything.
-Many of my people will not believe those things are possible. On my planet there is only one government, one people, one language. I will be asked a lot of questions.
-What will you say about us?
-I will say that we can be friends.
-This is yours...
-If you want to keep it, you can.
-Would you put some of your singing in this for the baby?
-You want the baby to laugh at me.
-How long will it take you to get home?
-I'm sure we could find a country and western station.
-There.
-The yellow one.
-Oh, wow... I'll tell you what. When the baby is born, we'll go out in my back yard and wave to you.
-Where do you think you're going?
-Thank you, Jennyhaydn. You are good. I must go alone now.
-Well...
-What do I do now?
-I love you.
-I'm never going to see you again, am I?
-Tell the baby about me.
-I will.
-Help me!!
-You could have killed us both!!
-Jesus Christ!! You crazy people...
-Call the police!!
-Help me!!!
-Oh God, man... don't shoot me... My mistake... I'm sorry...
-You sure this is your car?
-My grandmother's rich.
-Slow down, slow down.
-I told you I'm looking for someone.
-In the cars, too?!
-I don't know where he is.
-They after you?
-What? No, of course not.
-I'm telling you, you're going to find him at the roadblock, or right after, or not at all.
-If he didn't want to go through the roadblock, is there any other way to get to Vegas?
-The five-fifty. We already passed it. But it'll take him way out of his way.
-Pull over. I've got to get back there.
-Why wouldn't he want to go through the roadblock?... What did you guys do?... I won't tell anybody.
-Wait. Could I have your autograph?
-I have nothing to do. I'd like to help you.
-Is it for real?
-Aghh... I'm supposed to umpire a little league game tomorrow.
-This is crazy. What were we going to do if that had been the ship? We have two thirty calibre machine guns, three M16's and some handguns.
-That's because the ones that were hurt, died. They couldn't talk to you.
-Good... It looks like we might be the welcoming committee, so I think we should try and figure out what we're gonna do if we have to come face to face with this creature.
-Bell wants us to get down on our knees and bow.
-I know. She bought him a ticket for Lathrop Wells and put him on the bus. He didn't stay on though and they drove off together.
-Doesn't make sense.
-Tell him I'm not here.
-You get that, Lyman?
-I'm telling you they're probably friendly.
-They're gonna let some local cop blow him away.
-Save us all a lot of trouble.
-Jesus Lyman, you're an ignorant fool.
-Bullshit!
-You have no conception of this, do you?
-This has always been my favorite time of day.
-Very beautiful country up here...
-Any signs of biological contamination, excessive radiation, anything like that?
-Not on the landscape. We're trying to get a tube under the faceplate for a reading on possible deadly lifeforms but it's hard going.
-Can you see under the faceplate?
-There's a good chance you could be wrong about this thing then...
-We had a flight of F16's play tag with the spaceship over Michigan for an hour. Then it shot straight up and disappeared.
-Was there visual contact?
-No, sir. Radar.
-After I called in, I had a chance to sit down with the three locals. They swear there's another one that didn't make the ship... It might be alive.
-People have made mistakes in these situations before.
-Oh, Jesus.
-There's nothing... No reports of sightings or landings or anything... in the other parts of the country or overseas... Seems like a totally isolated incident.
-It was only an accident that we discovered them.
-You married, Major?
-Twenty-eight years.
-To the same woman?
-Yes.
-How would you describe the sounds we heard coming out of that thing's helmet?
-It was kind of like clicking, maybe a language wasn't it?
-Listen to this. A woman was kidnapped in Eau Claire this morning. When a citizen went to her rescue the kidnapper threatened him with a gun and shouted at him in a strange 'clicking gibberish'...
-It was a man though... right?
-Nothing up there... The grass is matted down in a few places, but that could have been anything.
-Where are you going?
-Las Vegas, please. I do not speak English.
-I don't understand.
-Good job, neither do I. What do you do for a living?
-I don't understand.
-I'm a cook. Do you understand 'cook?'
-I told you...
-Judy, that's stupid.
-Well, maybe these men won't think so. We were asleep when a helicopter woke me up. It made me so nervous I went into the kitchen for something to eat. I happened to look out the window and there was Scott Haydn with this green thing draped over his arm pulling Jenny down the walk to the car.
-You know that's impossible!
-I know what I saw. I've seen him enough times.
-Is there a reward in this?
-Huh?... Eh... no, there isn't
-Because I'm the one who called the police, you know.
-Yeah, thanks. We appreciate that.
-Hey, it's none of my business why you're chasing a retard... You want my opinion, it's the girl. She had to hold the guy's hand all the way to the car like he was a kid.
-You saw that?
-Eh... the store tells you to call when there's trouble, so they won't get sued... But that shouldn't matter if there's a reward, right?
-I wouldn't think so.
-That's what I thought. So remember it was me because sometimes rewards come late, you know.
-Hello...
-I must get to my ship, Mr. Shermin.
-We can't let you do that.
-All the roads into Death Valley are blocked. We'd like to talk to you.
-If I talk to you, I will miss my ship.
-Yeah, that's right.
-I saw you play, man. You were good. Like a fucking freight train I remember saying. So what happened, injuries or what?
-Bullshit politics.
-It's always politics. Like this thing we're in here, he's paying you to tune me up, right? But I could pay you more not to. See what I mean? I could write you a check right now--
-Come on, let's go, I got to get back.
-Okay cash! Logical. Here's everything I have on me, what do you say? How about a Rolex?
-I already got a real one. Come on, it won't be too bad. It's not personal.
-Okay, let's get you wired up. I hope this axle grease you got in your hair doesn't screw up the squid receptors.
-Superconducting QUantum Interference Device. SQUID. Got it? There's gonna be a test.
-Hey, fuck you, man.
-Easy, Eduardo, easy. Preserve a sense of humor at all times. Okay, the receptor rig... what I'm putting on your head... sends a signal to the recorder. See we call it "being wired," but there's no wire. You gotta keep the recorder close... five, six feet away max, like in your jacket pocket by the bed or wherever you're going to close escrow, know
-Some tips. Don't dart your eyes around. Don't look in the mirror or you'll ID yourself. OK? You got a half hour of tape, so give me some lead-in to the main event. But don't wait too long, I don't want to be going out for popcorn. And don't act natural. Don't act at all. Just forget the thing is on. Got it?
-No problem.
-We have nothing to talk about, Lenny.
-Lenny the loser. Panhandler of stolen dreams.
-Leave him alone, Tran.
-He's no concern of mine, as long as you don't talk to him. Don't talk to anybody. You understand? Not with everything that's going on right now.
-You're too goddamned paranoid.
-Look, Tran... Lenny just came by to give me some bad news. An old friend of mine has been murdered. You remember Iris?
-I made my choice, Lenny.
-You said you were going to get her out of this.
-Maybe now you appreciate the danger we're in. It was touching the way you stood by me in there. "Stand by your man". I was moved. You were very good. I don't think he even understands that you did it for him.
-He doesn't know what's going on. Leave him alone.
-The only time a whore should open her mouth is when she's giving head.
-Fuck you.
-Well, I'm certainly in the mood for a party.
-Take her up to the suite. Have a glass of champagne... or six... I'll be up in a while to help you ring in the New Year.
-This piece of puke hired me to kill you, baby. Do you believe that? Isn't that right, Tran? You pinhead.
-Oh my God. I don't believe this is happening.
-Believe it. Now bring me the trodes, baby. Come on, quick.
-You can't just... kill him.
-I'm not. Just a little poach job.
-Jesus.
-Look, baby, it's now of never... the guy is a known input junkie, so a little OD won't surprise anybody. It's the only way we can be together. You know it's true.
-You were supposed to go downstairs, baby.
-I know. I don't always do exactly what I'm told. So I said, 'Do you enjoy watching me?' And you said -- come on Max.
-I said, 'Yeah. I'd even do it for free.'
-And then she said, 'Since we're going to be spending so much time together--'
-Hey, you going to watch or you going to do?
-I feel like you're turning me into a VCR.
-I don't feel anything. Is it on?
-Forget it's there.
-Cut it out, Tran.
-I don't think that's a good idea, Lenny.
-Faith, call me, okay?
-Hi, baby. I've missed you.
-I know. Lenny, if Tran finds you talking to me he'll hurt you.
-You have to go. I mean it.
-Yeah, OK, whatever you say. Just answer one question. Is anything wrong? Iris said you might be in trouble.
-You talked to Iris? When?
-Tonight.
-Well I haven't seen her in months. Who knows what's going on in her head. You're really running out of excuses to come around, aren't you?
-I know you Faith. You're afraid of something. What's going on?
-Let it alone, Lenny. It'll take care of itself.
-It's Tran, isn't it? This guy is poison, Faith. Listen to me. He's got you walled in on all sides. And he uses the wire too much, he gets off on tape, not on you.
-That's a good one, coming from you.
-Why don't you just split? You don't love him, anybody can see that. And to him you're just some kinda possession, like a Ferrari, something to show the other guys.
-He has his uses too.
-What? He gonna record you on his label?
-Maybe.
-Look, baby, I've watched you create yourself out of nothing. You're like a goddamn cruise missile, targeted on making it. And you will.
-Damn right.
-You have to get out of here. If Tran catches you he'll... he's acting crazy. He's doing way too much playback and he's getting completely paranoid. He's such a control freak, he's even paying Max to follow me around.
-Max Pelcher? You're kidding?
-Yeah, for about a month now. Lenny, just stay away from Tran, okay? And stay away from me. Stop trying to rescue me. Those days are over. I'm a big girl now. Stop trying to save me, okay, because I don't need saving... Just... give up on me.
-Can't do it.
-You're crazier than I thought, Lenny. Coming here... Tran's just in there.
-Who did it?
-Don't know. But this guy's real damaged goods. Iris knew someone was after her... and she said you were in danger too. Now no more games, Faith. Whatever you're hiding, whatever's going on, you have to get out of here now. Come with me right now. Don't even think about it.
-Then what? Then what, Lenny?! You going to protect me? Big tough guy. You're a talker, Lenny. You don't even have a gun.
-I have a gun. It's under my bed.
-You don't know what you're fucking with here.
-What's going on?
-Faith, we know about Jeriko. Iris made me a copy of the tape.
-How did it happen? What was Iris doing riding around with Jeriko wearing a wire?
-We should talk alone.
-So finally he gives Iris some cash and tells her to check into the hotel under a wrong name till he figures out what to do.
-Yeah... he figured out what to do all right.
-You think Tran killed her?
-The killer knew right where she was. Because he put her there.
-I understand. No, I'm not.
-You understand? Attorney! Right? Am I right?
-No.
-A virgin brain! Well we're going to start you off right. So what do you know about this? Save us some time...
-Just what I've read. That the technology was developed for the Feds, to replace the body wire. And now it's gone black market. So, uh, do I get the deck from you?
-I'll set you up, get you a deck at my cost... since my thing is the software.
-Clips.
-That's right. Clips. Look, I want you to know what we're talking about here. This isn't like TV only better. This is life. It's a piece of somebody's life. Pure and uncut, straight from the cerebral cortex. You're there. You're doing it, seeing it, hearing it... feeling it.
-What kind of things exactly?
-Sounds good.
-I can get you what you want. You just have to talk to me. I'm your priest, your shrink, your main connection to the switchboard of souls. I'm the Magic Man, the Santa Claus of the Subconscious. You say it, you even think it, you can have it. You want a girl, you want two girls? I don't know what your thing is or
-Talk to me about costs, here.
-Listen, before we get into numbers, I want you to try a taste. I got a deck with me.
-What? Right Here?
-Yeah, I'm interested, but can we get someplace a little less public?
-You see the look on that preppy puke's face? Fuckin' pissed in his Topsiders.
-Okay. It was funny. But it cost me money.
-Come on, amigo, the world's full of marks. And nobody knows how to work 'em like you do, pal. You could sell a goddamn rat's asshole for a wedding ring! Let me buy you a drink.
-Bobbyyyy! Tequila por favor! Double shots. Make it Tres Generaciones, huh. Nothin' but the best for my good friend Lenny, the finest cop that ever got thrown off the vice squad. Hey, nice tie.
-Thanks, Max.
-D'you always have to dress like a fuckin' pimp?
-This tie cost more than your entire wardrobe.
-That's not sayin' much.
-You were lucky, Max.
-Naw. She won't call me.
-Just as well, Lenny. You gotta get past it. I mean sure, Faith was by far the most outstanding woman a guy like you could ever hope to get, I mean it's completely and deeply humiliating that she's gone, but it's over, campadre.
-I just hate to see you pining away. It makes me want to vomit, frankly. Broken hearts are for assholes.
-See, if you packed your piece you could've made the guy see sense.
-Uh unh, carrying a gun wrecks the line of a fine jacket.
-I'm telling ya, it's over. We used it all up--
-Shoulda told me about your new gig, buddy.
-I was gonna tell ya. Hey, it's just a job. I feel like shit about it.
-You should feel like shit.
-I figured, what the hell, I could take the prick's money and make sure Faith was OK at the same time. Do us both good. Right?
-Fairly twisted logic, Max, even for you. Hey, at least you got a job! Watch her for me. Stay on her.
-You alright? Y'okay?
-Yeah. No, not really.
-Let's work it.
-Not now... I don't want to think about it--
-Come on, Lenny. You used to be good at this stuff. Play it down. What's the perp doing?
-He stalks her. He rapes her. Then he does her...
-And he records it. Thrill kill. Wants to see it again. And again.
-He records himself raping and killing her--
-But at the same time he's sending the signal to her--
-So she feels... what he feels... while he's in her. The thrill while he's killing her... is sent to her, heightening her fear... which in turn heightens the turn on for him. I've seen a lot, Max.
-So've I. Too much.
-But this is a bad one.
-Top ten.
-That's right. He wants to share. Needs an audience. This is one sick puppy.
-Hey, the last day of the world and you spend it in bed.
-Faith OK?
-Yeah. She's leaving with Tran so I got to boogie. Real quick... Iris checked into the Sheraton last night under a false name. Paid cash.
-Looks like she was holding out.
-Yup. Hey, so I heard you dropped in on Tran last night. Another slick Lenny move.
-He's in this somehow... I don't know how. Just stay close to Faith.
-Sounds like Tick's already celebrating.
-He's been cooked-off
-Is he dead?
-Whattya mean?
-All I'm saying... you don't know how high up the food chain this thing goes. I've heard stuff.
-What stuff?
-Jesus.
-Yeah. So don't walk near me in public, alright.
-Mace... no disrespect... but you run this on the 11 o'clock news, by midnight you got the biggest riot in history. They'll see the fucking smoke from Canada.
-Okay... what about Strickland?
-He's got her up in the room, under guard. And he's still working the party... acting smooth like nothin's nothin'. So buddy... I say we work a trade.
-What do you mean?
-Give him the tape. See? It's fucking brilliant! The tape for Faith. I know he'll go for it. I can set it up.
-This is what we laughingly refer to as a plan, right?
-2-2-0-3. Got it. Stay on her.
-No. I suppose not. I didn't know you were colorblind, Max.
-I'll have that. Glock 22. Nice.
-Where's Faith?
-I sent her to the party. I figured I'd wait up here until you killed Tran.
-You just did.
-Jesus!
-So... I killed Tran. Then you ran in, being on his payroll, and shot me.
-Wait a minute. Now I'm remembering. I killed Iris too, didn't I?
-That's right. They'll find the original of her snuff clip in your apartment. The one I left for you at the club was a copy.
-Was I a really busy guy? Did I do Tick too?
-Picture it... I feel like I gotta share this with somebody. It's too perfect.
-I won't say anything.
-Only he doesn't know about me and Faith. So I say to myself, if I turn the job down, he just gets somebody else. And I lose Faith... to coin a phrase. So to buy time, I do the skank. I still gotta do something about Tran... I figure it's him or me... but I can't cap him without a chump to take the
-And who was, regrettably, also your best fucking friend.
-No plan is perfect, Lenny. Hey, cheer up. World's gonna end in ten minutes anyway.
-You must be so pleased, I followed your jellybean trail right here, like a good little chump.
-So there never was a death squad.
-Naawww.
-Just those two loose-cannon cops running around covering their butts.
-How did you hook up with Faith?
-Don't have a fucking coronary, Lenny.
-Well you could've at least warned me. You know I hate the zap... when they die. It just brings down your whole day. Jeez, Tick.
-How'd you get the tape? Why didn't the cops put it in evidence?
-With all the blood I guess they didn't see the rig. Guy had it under a wig.
-Yeah, but how'd it get to you?
-I got ways, Lenny, I got ways. Okay, okay... I got a deal with some a the paramedics. My guy pages me and I pick it up at the morgue. So whaddya think? This clip's gotta be worth at least a grand. Right?
-Tick. Not to dash your hopes, but I don't deal this kind of product, you know that. I'll give you four for it, cause I've gotta cut off the last bit. And my customers want uncut.
-Fuck that! The last part's the best. You dry-dive six stories and blammo! Jack right into the Big Black.
-I don't deal black-jack clips! It's policy. I got ethics here.
-Yeah, when did that start? Come on, man! It's what people want to see, and you know it.
-So lay it off to somebody else.
-Give me six at least. This's a good clip, here. Gets you pumpin'.
-Yeah, well, the first part's okay. Better than the usual soaps you bring me.
-Sure, like this low-grade shit here, some girl in a fight with her boyfriend... it's a test-pattern. Nothing happens. I'm snorin'.
-Hey, you're always saying, 'Bring me real life. Bring me street life. And, like, one man's mundane and desperate existence is another man's Technicolor.'
-I said that? Look, I'll take it for five, and you'll make out okay, because in this case it's pure cream, you don't have to cut anything back to the wearer.
-Ha! That's for fucking sure.
-Whoa. That is one unbelievable piece of eyefuck.
-Skip the art criticism, Tick, what can you tell me about the wearer.
-Lookit, you see the peak period ratios there? Could be some kind of tumor or brain lesion or something. Some kind of trauma This is not good. I don't like this at all...
-What?
-Well, it's cutting awful close to me. I mean she was just here.
-Who was just here?
-Iris, man. Pay attention.
-Wait, wait... wait a minute. Iris was here?!
-Yeah, she came by last night. Shaking like a junkie, wanting me to make a copy of some clip.
-What clip? What was it?
-I don't know, man, she wouldn't let me see it. Said I wouldn't want to see it. She said she was going to give it to you to hold for her. Like insurance or somethin'
-You come to peddle me some tapes, Lenny? For old time's sake? Make a couple bucks for the holidays?
-You're not a client anymore, Tran. I wouldn't sell you the sweat off a dead dog's balls.
-Show a little respect, Nero. The man was an important artist.
-Yeah, important for your label. Which no doubt is why you're in mourning. Don't worry, his records'll sell out now he's dead. You'll make out.
-I always do.
-About what?
-Charm.
-It's alright. He means it.
-Nero.
-Strickland.
-Commissioner Strickland.
-Sure. Whatever. See, since you shitcanned my career, I don't even have to call you sir. One of life's small pleasures.
-Aren't you peddling your wares a little far from your usual gutter?
-I don't like disappointments, Nero. And do you know what disappoints me very much?
-Your sex life?
-Greetings, gents. So let's hear this week's sad story.
-Thanks for giving me a ride. I just have a few stops, mostly on the west side--
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. I said I'd drop you home, but I'm not taking you on your sleazoid rounds. I've already pulled twelve hours today.
-Come on, Mace. This is gonna be a big night. Can't you feel it? The energy in the air? There's money to be made, dreams to sell.
-Sleaze to peddle.
-Just a couple of hours. It'll be fun--
-Excuse me. What part of NO don't you understand?
-Mace, you're my friend. I need you. Plus I'll give you 25% of what I make tonight.
-Jeez, you're pathetic. Okay, I got a pickup at the St. James. I'll take you there, you can get a cab.
-Mace! You're a life-saver.
-So, what's up with you? Another busy night selling porno to wireheads?
-No, wrong... I sell experiences. Sex is only part of it.
-Buncha techno-perv jerkoffs.
-Way I look at it, I actually perform a humanitarian service. I save lives.
-Uh huh, I wanna hear this part.
-Okay, take some executive... bored with his life, bored with his wife... he picks up a hooker or some girl at a bar. Then he goes around for months, torn up worrying that he's got AIDS, that he'll infect his wife. And maybe he really does catch something--
-Price he pays for being a scumsucking pig.
-Everybody needs to take a walk to the dark end of the street sometime, it's what we are. But now the risks are outa line. The streets are a war zone. And sex can kill you. So you slip on the trodes, you get what you need and it keeps you from jumping your tracks.
-Lenny, this shit's illegal.
-Define illegal.
-Me bailing your sorry pale ass out of jail twice in the last six months.
-Yeah, but that was for love.
-What's his name?
-Fumitsu.
-What the fuck are you doing?
-Coming with you.
-Are we having a bad night?
-Hey, careful on the jacket. This is Armani. You angry?
-I've had enough of this shit. You're on foot, Lenny.
-I need my case. It's still in the back.
-That would be no.
-I've had it. No more wirehead shit in my car. You understand? You want to poach your lobes, do it somewhere else.
-I thought we were friends.
-No, see a friend is more than one person constantly doing favors for another. You just suck people along with your schemes and your scams and your slick act. Well I'm out. I got a kid, I got rent, I got an ex- husband someplace who doesn't send me a dime of support... I'm just trying to hold on here.
-So am I. Just trying to get by.
-No, you're just trying to get off.
-Macey... I've never seen you like this.
-Lenny, you're turning into some kinda squid-head low-life. You're always broke, you just go from one score to the next. And you're getting strung out... you don't even see it. Getting high on your own supply like some crack dealer.
-I know you wouldn't be saying all this if you didn't care about me. Thanks, Mace. Really.
-Look, I gotta get some sleep.
-Yeah. I don't see a way out of it.
-Macey, I know you're tired, but can you drop me at the Retinal Fetish? It's on your way.
-Jesus, Lenny.
-Begging? Groveling? Any pathetic behavior at all? Will that help? Faith's there tonight, and I've got to talk to her.
-Who's the new side of beef in Tran's posse?
-Guy named Wade Beemer. Used to be a running back for the Rams in '96 and '97.
-Forget her.
-She still loves me.
-She thinks you're a bucket of dog vomit. Trust me on this.
-She's my destiny.
-Destiny? You living in a perfume commercial? She's a hard-climber that dropped you like a used tampon when she got a better ride.
-You're some piece of work, you know that. Just calmly backstroking around in the big toilet bowl, and somehow you never let it touch you. I mean, between Vice and this so- called occupation you're in now, you must've seen it all.
-I have crawled through the gutter... through every wrinkle in the human brain.
-What I'm saying. But you still come out this goofball romantic.
-What's that? Present from Faith?
-What is it?
-My God, Lenny. What is it?
-Black. Jack.
-Blackjack? I don't understand--
-Snuff clip. It was Iris. She said she needed my help and I... aw Jesus, Mace... the sick fucker killed her.
-And gives it to you.
-Cause you're the man, right? The Magic Man. If it's got something to do with the wire, sooner or later it washes up on your beach.
-Jesus, Mace. Back off.
-Uh unh. No way! They'd crucify me.
-Is this great fabric or what?
-You ever wonder why you get beat up a lot?
-He knows what he's doing. He's worn before... a lot.
-So that gives you something.
-Don't crank the gain any more. You're gonna fry yourself.
-No more, Lenny.
-She came to me for help. I should have read it better... I just figured, y'know... another strung- out hooker having a bad night.
-See, it's all about what they see walking in. A dead hooker, handcuffs, penetration... they'll see a trick gone wrong. Random kill. The kind you never solve.
-But that doesn't add, does it.
-No it doesn't.
-She said "If they get me". They. Which means the whole sex-killer thing is a cover, which means somebody whacked her for a reason.
-So the guy's not a sicko.
-If he could do what's on that tape, he's a sicko.
-Okay, so he's a freak who thinks he's sane pretending to be a freak. The point is, he was a hitter. Somebody wanted to shut her up. But why not just put a little lead in her ear?
-Because it had to look random. Not connected to anything or anyone. But then why give the rape to me?
-That's where it gets a little strange.
-And what about the guy that was following me?
-The question is not whether I am paranoid, but whether I am paranoid enough. You want to rub my neck?
-How's Zander?
-I'm sorry about getting on your case earlier. I just see you getting sucked in deeper and deeper, and I -- anyway. I'm sorry.
-Whatup Lenny?
-Where we going?
-What is it?
-Will you relax. There's nobody back there.
-Mace, the guy had a knife. To my throat. In my living room. Relaxing might be right out, okay?!
-You better keep a low profile for a while.
-Lenny, have you lost it completely?
-Think back about what she said. Exactly what she said.
-She wanted to go out to my car, something about my car...
-Lenny, give them the tape.
-Shit!
-Take it easy. The glass is bullet resistant.
-Bullet resistant? Whatever happened to bullet proof?
-Goddamnit!! 911 is busy!
-This is bad.
-Are you out of your fucking mind?!
-I can't believe we had to give them the damn tape.
-Those two guys were cops.
-You sure?
-Tell me.
-I can't tell you. You've got to see.
-Uh unh. I won't do it.
-Hang on. Hang on, Max. You see?
-I see. I see the earth opening up and swallowing us all.
-We got to make another copy of this. Little life insurance.
-You know what this tape could do if it gets out.
-I've got a good idea, yeah.
-People finding out... seeing... that the LAPD just flat out executed Jeriko One. Jesus. Maybe they ought to see.
-So, let's see, I've got Tran's goons, some squidhead psycho and the LAPD all trying to kill me. Happy new year, Lenny.
-Well, look at the plus side.
-There's a plus side?
-Yeah. You gave up your hot tub tape to save me. That's real progress for you.
-It was a tough call.
-I still can't square the psycho smarts of whoever did Iris with those two cops.
-I don't think those cops did Iris. I think whoever Iris was wearing for killed her.
-Why?
-He's totally cut off from the outer world.
-The only card we have to play is the tape. You know, we get it to the media somehow...
-Who's Strickland?
-Kinda guy you can count on in a pinch.
-Okay, we gotta get over there. Can you borrow a dress from Cecile or something--
-I'm not going.
-Whatya mean? We're going! Tran's gonna do her right there unless--
-Yeah. Lenny. I have.
-It didn't stop you from loving them. Right? Or understanding them, or being able to forgive them...
-I guess.
-And it didn't stop you from wanting to protect them. Did it?
-I worked Vice, Narcotics... Violent Crimes... and I saw every known depravity. I was lost, Mace. In outer darkness. Then I busted this strung-out little teeny-hooker. When I met Faith she was just another runaway giving twenty dollar blowjobs to buy crank. Another lost soul.
-You never told me.
-But she was different. There was a light in her eyes... and she had this voice. It was scary, all that pain coming out of that little body. Like she could take all the hurt and rage of the entire world and lift it up to heaven in one voice. I helped her. And I promised her that I'd always be there... to protect
-Mace... you're a girl.
-Got your ticket?
-You see Tran?
-Alright. We're going up.
-And do what? Take on his whole posse?
-That's the original. There are no copies.
-Take it to him.
-A cop? You want me to trust a cop?!
-Oh boy. What if you're wrong?
-Then we'll be right where we are now.
-Are we under arrest?
-Hey, Lenny. We made it.
-Well... Get going. You're still bleeding.
-See you downtown.
-Where were you Mom? Did you meet a guy?
-Just Lenny.
-Right. That explains it.
-What is that?
-Cheerios and wieners. I made it myself. It's good.
-We're going to aunt Cecile's, honey. We're going to watch fireworks from there. Let's go. Chop chop.
-No. I haven't noticed because I make my payments. So, Max Pelcher, how's the P.I. business?
-Hey, isn't that Tran Vo?
-Yup. He was Jeriko's manager. Bummer, Tran! Lost your golden goose. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
-But I mean isn't he Faith's new--
-He's skull-fucking you, bud. Trying to get a reaction. Maybe pushing you to do something.
-Problem is, Lenny knows everybody.
-Those two psycho cops are on a slash-and-burn to find the tape and cover their tracks.
-This seems a little sophisticated for them. These are not subtle guys.
-So you're saying we just pretend is didn't happen? It happened! The LAPD executed one of the most important black men in America! Who the fuck are you to bury this?!
-Fine. Do you want blood running waist deep in the storm drains? The gangbangers'll spread like a wave through this city and burn it to the ground. And when the fires start the street cops'll be capping off at anything that moves. It'll be all- out war and you know it.
-Yeah, well maybe it's time for a war!
-Was this him?
-Um... he was older.
-Besides that.
-To be honest, when I'm working, I don't look at faces much. He knew the guy's name.
-Testa?
-Have you had a chance to think about --
-Zorro. Yes, ran it through my files, even asked around: came up completely blank. Thought there might be a Mexico connection, El Paso and all, but nothing. Fooled around with the letter "Z," turned it on it's side, got "N" -- there Ng, he's Vietnamese. The only thing that came to mind was zero, not Zorro. Remember Suspect Zero?
-No.
-...well, there was some friction: I wanted to write up my work, educate the public, but Koessler wouldn't allow it. Low felt Koessler was more interested in career advancement than catching killers. Koessler had Low reassigned to the Pacific Northwest, Seattle. You know when they say, stick it where the sun don't shine? That's where they stuck Dick Low.
-Pacific Northwest is a hotbed for serials.
-Does Koessler know about the Suspect Zero theory?
-Welcome back, sir. How was the vacation?
-Takes four days to chill, then its time to come back. Is that...?
-Agent Duncan, there's an interstate issue up on 54, run out there.
-Agents Duncan, Mackelway. Anything new?
-Just mopping up. Nine bodies in all.
-Anybody talk to the press?
-No, sir.
-You run the plates?
-Fella's name is Harold Speck, travelin' man out of Roswell.
-Excuse me, a salesman gets done in his car and you call the FBI?
-Where's the Nuevo American Diner?
-I hope that wasn't a joke because I can assure you, from personal experience, the FBI does not have a sense of humor.
-Nine bodies in Roswell, now this -- it's getting a little hairy, huh?
-I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself.
-Her name is Karen Sumpter, from near Dell City. Just disappeared a couple weeks back. Vanished.
-You're thinking...?
-Who knows.
-This isn't in our database?
-Agent Mackelway.
-Mack, this is Sheriff Dylan.
-Oh Jesus, Sheriff, I am sorry. I meant to call you -- I got distracted -- the Sumpter girl was not one of Speck's victims. That's the good news.
-What's the bad news?
-You tell me.
-No bad news. You know the Be On the LookOut you asked me to send on the diner car -- we got a hit on it. A little town on the border, Socorro. We got it staked out -- you interested?
-Hey, Sheriff.
-Down the road a piece is the Golden Sunset, the no-tell motel, Socorro's contribution to international relations. The car's just sitting there, no activity. I've had a couple Hispanic officers casing it all day. Want to take a look?
-What does the Manager say?
-I sent a female in. The room in question was rented by an Anglo, cash; since then, nothing -- no activity, no phone response.
-The room key's in the car. On the seat.
-Show's over, boys. Nobody home.
-Tape it off, we'll want to fine-tooth- comb it. My guess is that the UNSUB is having us on. He checks in, pays, picks up the key, but never walks inside. Tell me if I'm wrong.
-Dylan here.
-Sheriff Dylan, this is FBI Agent Thomas Mackelway. Remember me?
-Hi there.
-I want to talk about the Karen Sumpter case.
-You heard?
-What?
-You have the body?
-She's buried.
-I want the autopsy report, where is it, Minnesota?
-The family has gone through a lot. Their daughter missing, the search, her body found, the funeral -- then this order to exhume the corpse.
-I'm sorry. This won't take long.
-The body was embalmed. I don't understand --
-Turn the body over. There was something in the autopsy report, yes, here. These burn marks.
-A grill pattern.
-Ligature strangulation, just like his victims. A cord, nylon, you can tell by the indentation signature -- again, like his victims. Look at that little thing and look at all the trouble it got him in. Should have cut it off.
-I'm not in the mood for Native American wisdom.
-We had to bring staff in from the whole county to handle this.
-Be my guest, Agent Kulok, scrub suits are in the back.
-Ripped off. By hand, my guess. Perimortal: victim was alive at the time, there's blood on his throat.
-There seems to be a discrepancy.
-Not a discrepancy, an error. My capacity is 5.5 tons, not 6.
-I have 6 tons.
-Mam, it's my truck. I know my own capacity.
-You can't imagine how many men have told me that.
-It's been customized for sleeping capacity.
-Oh yes, I see. You must get asked this a lot.
-Jesus.
-You... surprised me.
-Sorry. I've seen you in here. Always lugging that case around. Whatja sell?
-Ah... restaurant supplies. I didn't get your name.
-You must travel a lot, huh?
-Yeah.
-Whole country or just hereabouts?
-I don't mean to be rude, but...
-Just gettin' a jolt of java before headin' on home? How does your wife feel about it?
-What?
-About your being away all the time. Must get lonely.
-Look...
-You must get lonely. You ever think about, you know...
-Excuse me?
-What are you...?
-Look, mister...
-My God.
-Not bad, huh?
-You're a... you're sick.
-Calm down, Harold. Okay, here's what we're going to do, Harold: there's a pull off up ahead, we're going to stop there.
-Oh God, mister, please leave me alone.
-You're going to miss it. Pay attention.
-I've been looking for you.
-The man who was with him, he was a construction worker?
-Yes.
-What did he look like?
-I didn't wait on him. Fifty or so, white, regular build, needed a shave -- that's all I remember.
-How did you know he was a construction worker?
-He was sitting here?
-There was a car in the lot when we closed. Gone today.
-What kind?
-An old junker. Like a reservation car. Blue, side door with brown, you know, primer paint. New Mexico plates. A Ford or ah, yeah, a Ford.
-Speck's the killer all right. We got box loads of evidence. Did 'em all the same way: torture, strangulation. Prostitutes. I don't think we'll be able to write off any outstandings on him -- this is probably the full body count.
-What about his killer?
-Nada. Vague description, that's all. Fine-tooth-combed Speck's car, the diner: no fingerprints, no trace evidence.
-You have the photo from the diner?
-At the field office.
-He said it was a clue?
-Maybe something to do with Zorro.
-Don't say that. Don't even think that. The next thing we'll be hearing about "Zorro Killer" in the media -- this hasn't gotten out, has it?
-Just hospital talk. Nothing that connects to Speck.
-Chuck, hello. This is Agent Kulok. She has a background in medical forensics.
-We didn't know Speck was a serial, the police didn't know, his wife didn't know -- so how did the killer know?
-Maybe cause he's smart.
-Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but I thought you'd like to know.
-What?
-We have another one.
-Another what?
-Deputy Director, get out, sir.
-What are you doing?
-Mackelway, I could understand. He is over-emotional by nature, but you, Agent Kulok, you had a shining career in front of you.
-Look, sorry. Don't say a word. I know this is improper. I've been trying to speak with Deputy Director Koessler. I left a message. I must speak with you before you go back to Washington.
-I think I talked to him.
-Who?
-Speck. Harold Speck.
-From the grave?
-I'll relay this to CIIAC.
-They don't know how to crack these secret chat rooms --
-I might point out, Agent Mackelway, the reason we haven't been able to crack those rooms is that you refused to share that information with us -- which is also why you were reassigned.
-I had gotten their trust. We were sharing fantasies. I couldn't risk it.
-The Federal Bureau of Investigation is not based on personal preference. We share information.
-Let some by-the-book J. Edgar Agents go into the chat room, spook these guys with stupid questions, blow my cover? -- no way.
-You refused to comply with a direct order.
-I was lucky to find, much less crack, the address code -- no way to be sure I could have done it again.
-Its called insubordination.
-How do you feel, Agent
-Pretty embarrassed, to be honest. I had him.
-Agent Kulok and I were in O'Hare when we heard.
-He got away. I had him. He got away.
-Do you think he singled you out?
-The cut on your arm -- mind if we remove the bandage?
-Agent Mackelway, you're going to get your wish. You're going back to Washington. I want you back in Computer Crimes. Fire up those chat rooms.
-This time, sir, if I may be so bold, would it be possible to set up my equipment outside CIIAC, perhaps in military housing at Quantico? I didn't get along very well with the other members of the Division. We thought differently.
-You didn't like anyone looking over your shoulder -- why was that? What were you doing?
-I'll take it into consideration.
-What I do requires confidentiality.
-I always meant to ask, what is it that makes you so special? Why is it you have this special rapport with multiple killers? Why you?
-You feeling okay, Agent Mackelway?
-Had trouble sleeping last night, sir.
-Nothing concrete. Nothing I'd... well, nothing.
-I don't believe this.
-I'm hesitant to...
-"Murman" was the alter identity of William Heirens, the original "Catch Me Before I Kill Again" killer. Short for "Murder Man." It was the case that got Richard Low and I started in this field.
-I spoke with Lloyd Daitz.
-That gasbag. I can imagine what he said. I'm not ashamed to admit that most of what I know about criminal profiling started with Richard Low. I have also, over the years, I admit, taken credit for many of his accomplishments. He was the most brilliant law enforcement individual I ever met.
-"Was?"
-We had every reason to believe he was on that plane. He was supposed to be on the plane. Everything was incinerated, it was two weeks before we reached the crash site. We, the Director and I, decided it was in everyone's best interest to declare Dick Low dead. That way he could exit a hero.
-You suspected all along, suspected he was alive. That's why you came to El Paso.
-Dunlevy said there was another case, Ron Rice. In fact, there were two earlier cases where serials were murdered. The second was George Sheldon. I didn't enter it into VICAP -- I'll get you the file.
-How long ago?
-Both in the last year. I suspected only someone as brilliant as Dick Low could find these guys. Look, whatever Daitz told you, nobody wanted to strip Richard of his badge. You have to get close to be good at what he did, the trick is not to get too close.
-You knew the arm slash was not "Zorro."
-I suspected, but you were the one Low contacted. That's why I brought you back here.
-What did you think of the Suspect Zero theory?
-I got a look in Testa's computer. His screen name was "Imelda." Have to give him that, had a sense of humor.
-We're waiting for trace evidence results on the Rice killing.
-We need to put out an NCIC inquiry.
-How do you send out an APB on a dead man?
-Huh?, sir.
-Why did you go to Chicago?
-I was visiting an old college friend.
-You didn't tell anyone where you were?
-An oversight, sir, I apologize. I felt I needed to get away for a day. The pressure. Paid for my own ticket.
-I'm told you've asked for a Bureau cross-check of flight records to and from El Paso, Ft. Myers, Omaha, the Murman murder time frames.
-I was looking for a pattern.
-That breaks my confidentiality stipulation.
-I didn't use Low's name.
-There was talk of a file photo.
-Watch out for Dick Low, he's a liar; he has his own world. There was a Junior Agent in Seattle, not unlike you, an Agent who fell under Dick's spell. He'd have done anything for Agent Low. Richard got this Agent to take a suspect to the crime scene, beat him up, force a confession -- all unauthorized, all illegal. The Agent died that
-I understand.
-He's got you believing in Zero now too.
-I need to get to Amarillo immediately.
-Have you told Richard Low about Amarillo?
-I can't. The chat room isn't open for another five days.
-We'll wait. Get online with Low, inform him of Zero's route -- we'll set a trap for him.
-What about Zero, Darryl Hawkins?
-Hawkins isn't the target, Richard Low's the target.
-There's a killer out there -- we know who he is. He could be stalking now.
-Dick Low's a killer too.
-Miss me, Dave?
-Don't you touch him.
-You better hope the Director doesn't stop abruptly one day, David, you might break your nose.
-You're a disgrace to law enforcement, to the Bureau -- and to me.
-You are so fucked up.
-When I was at the rest stop, there was a young boy, maybe ten, and his mother. Darryl Hawkins, Zero, abducted the boy in the men's room. I tried to stop him. He cold-cocked me --
-Agent Kulok, that boy, as we speak, is in Hawkins' truck, probably still alive, in a dark refrigerated compartment, shivering in just a T- shirt: put yourself in his mind, freezing, terrified, wanting his mother. Put yourself in his mother's place, desperate, imagining the worst is happening as she pleads, back there at the rest stop, for someone, anyone, to listen to her. This
-Shut the fuck up or I'll shut you up.
-Thanks for the ride.
-They sort of got me on shit detail, no offense.
-None taken.
-Maybe I shouldn't put it that way. I'm on my best behavior. I've got to watch what I say.
-You used to be in the Behavioral Science Unit, right?
-The Academy, then CIIAC.
-I read your white paper. It's sort of like the Bible for what they're trying to do in Computer Crime.
-How long have you been downtown?
-You work with Koessler?
-Not especially.
-Why did he come out here? What's going on?
-This is a sexy case.
-Yeah, you know the vic's car, he was killed this side of the state line, the car then pushed across the border. This by an Unknown Subject, presumably the killer, who left no fucking evidence except the snapshot, which may or may not have been accidental.
-Doesn't fit.
-This is no random killing, no one shot deal. The UNSUB has killed before; he's good at it. So what do we have? We have someone who has killed before who kills someone who kills: a serial killer of a serial killer -- and who wants the FBI to know he exists.
-And who kills in the manner of his victim.
-That information's being withheld from the media.
-Some kids found you in a garbage dump.
-Yes I do.
-Relax. J. Edgar's greatest fear: a female with a badge.
-The man knew how to dress.
-Don't even go there. What's up?
-Setting up. Technically, anyone in a chat room can be traced back to a screen address. But, by using punters, a correspondent literally punts his address around the world, through computers in countries that have no communication treaties. The correspondent becomes "ghosted," invisible.
-What about the chat rooms themselves?
-That's the beauty of the system. This is a fugitive chat room. It moves from place to place, chat rooms that are normally empty at certain hours: a gardening website, Chaucer buffs, a dating service. A pre- arranged code shows up in one of fifty porn rooms -- that's where I stumbled across it -- notifying "friends" to meet at a certain time, usually
-That's part of the reason I dropped by. I need to learn this stuff.
-The other reason?
-Working the net isn't that different from ordinary undercover work. You go into the community, walk their walk, talk their talk, gain their confidence.
-They're all criminals?
-No, no, no, most of them -- I used to think all of them -- are just fantasists, guys who get off telling degrading stories. When I came across this fugitive chat room, listened in, I started to think some might actually be real, that they'd gone live. The challenge was to figure out which was which. Then I had my disagreement with Koessler.
-"Gone live?"
-Chat jargon for moving from fantasy to real victims: "I went live last month."
-This is some serious shit.
-Taking a Stryker saw, cutting off the top of someone's cranium, pulling the brain out -- what's that, a day in Spring?
-You got a point there.
-People end up in occupations for a reason. They may think not, but they do: occupations define us.
-I was going to be a physician, I am a physician, but I kept drifting over to criminal psych. This seems to be the best of both. My parents still haven't forgiven me.
-I was interested in two things: computers and crime. They sort of came together.
-And one other thing.
-What's that?
-Look at this fellow... or this one.
-Grown man dressed like a clown. Does he really think he looks good?
-He thinks he looks young.
-What's this country coming to?
-Take it to the next level. What are his fantasies, what turns him on, what kind of pornography does he like? If he could act out his fantasies, what would he do? Imagine yourself one of his victims, realizing your life is in his hands. What is he thinking?
-Every cop has a story and every story has a girl. The girl in my story was fifteen years-old. She wore a pink angora sweater -- I can still see it -- one day, she disappeared. I told the police she wouldn't run away, I told them who to look for, but I was just a kid. I sat in the police station crying
-Me too. Make any headway with "Zorro"?
-None. Can't find a thing. Nothing on file, nothing online. It's not a part of any known killer's signature.
-I was thinking, maybe we should ask Professor Daitz. Nobody knows this stuff better.
-That's because he's a fucking wacko. Never met a self-promotion scheme he didn't like. What's he doing now?
-I ever get like that, just take me out in back and shoot me.
-Don't be too harsh.
-I saw him on a talk show once, talking about these killers like they were his friends. Not the victims, not the families of the victims, he doesn't talk about them. Blood money, that's what it is. Did he hit on you?
-Huh?
-When you were his student? Did he come on to you?
-Of course he did. He came on to every attractive student. Which bothers you most: that he exploits suffering or that he came on to me?
-You must really think I'm a square, a computer nerd.
-Why did Koessler assign you as my liaison?
-Because you asked him to, stupid.
-There are Agency regulations about this.
-"Intra-Agency fraternizing."
-It's a no-no.
-I know.
-I've been thinking about this.
-Does Koessler ask about me?
-He's called a couple times.
-What did you tell him?
-Just routine stuff.
-Not about coming to see Daitz?
-Find the feet?
-No. Cut off while he was still alive, look at his wrists, damn near ripped his hands off trying to get free. Must have been screaming real loud when the killer chain-sawed his throat. Unfortunately, he'd soundproofed his van.
-We got an UNSUB walking around with four feet?
-Jesus.
-The tattoo?
-Sue Ann Hanson.
-You mean --
-Did they disconnect Testa's computer?
-You should have seen the store manager at Parade of Shoes. She was inconsolable.
-Mack, I'm sorry. I apologize. I should have called. I had no right to sneak in on you like that.
-No, Jaime, I apologize. I didn't... I had no right to speak to you like that.
-I came over because I couldn't sleep and was lonely. I wanted to see you. I thought I'd surprise you.
-Maybe we should back off a bit.
-I can't. They trust me, they accept me. I've got their confidence.
-No, I mean maybe we should back off a bit, you and me.
-There's the Agency issue. I think Koessler may suspect something already. We're not on the best footing with him as it is.
-That's true.
-Then there's the other issue.
-What's that?
-You need time to think. About the case, about you and me.
-I found a peephole into Deviant World. I'm gonna reach in and yank some of those creeps out.
-And nobody else can do that?
-Not the way I can.
-That's my point. Remember, you're a cop pretending to be a deviant. It's not the other way around.
-Don't confuse what we do with who we are.
-Hello?
-Jaime? Where are you?
-Where are you? Everybody's looking for you.
-What's up?
-My watch. He toyed with me. He sent me to Chicago.
-You want to get him? Find something he wants. Get him to come to you.
-Start killing people for real?
-Suspect Zero.
-That's a crackpot theory. Everybody says so.
-This feels like something out of a spy novel.
-I guess I'm a little paranoid.
-I met with Richard Low. These are names of missing persons he has flagged. I'm double-checking every case, but I don't want to be too obvious about it. I marked the ones I'd like you to work on.
-Slow down a second, you met with Low --
-You were right. He found me.
-And you're working with him?
-I need something tangible. To hook him. I told him I'd found the confidential file on the Suspect Zero theory.
-Does one exist?
-Probably. I told him Koessler had ordered the report, kept it secret.
-Koessler doesn't know any of this?
-I'd be real careful if I were you.
-It's too late for that. I've gone ahead of the curve on this one. There's no turning back. When this is over, Koessler is going to be right or Low is going to be right or I'm going to be right, but not all of us.
-It's okay to be wrong, just don't be dead wrong.
-They say Richard Low is wrong, but because of him, women, innocent women, are alive who would be dead.
-You're putting me in a difficult position.
-Jaime, do you think, when this is all over, when we're in different divisions, you think maybe you and me, we could try again?
-But why this pattern?
-Tom, you okay?
-Hardly anyone calls me Tom. Everybody calls me Mack. I always liked that.
-You okay?
-Yeah, of course.
-It's quite advanced.
-Burn marks. The original M.E. listed it as "burn residue." Same place, the outer thigh, as Karen Sumpter. The UNSUB is able to abduct, kill, transport and bury without detection.
-All the same killer?
-Low calls him Suspect Zero.
-Suspect Zero is a crackpot theory. You said so.
-That's what Koessler wants us to believe. To discredit Low.
-You're assigned, we're assigned, to apprehend Richard Low, not Suspect Zero. I have to tell you, Mack, I'm not comfortable where you're going.
-I haven't changed anything. Damn.
-I...
-Jaime --
-It's a truck. A refrigerated truck.
-Zero abducts victims all over the country, kills them, keeps them refrigerated for days, weeks, even months, then buries them hundreds, thousands of miles away. Karen Sumpter was buried, washed up in a flood. Evans was buried. When we get Zero, we'll find boneyards all across the country.
-How are we going to find him?
-What happened?
-Agent...
-Kulok.
-Unlock these cuffs.
-Mack must think Zero has a police band.
-Uncuff me. What's wrong with you? Don't you want to save the boy?
-Okay, I'll unhook you. No weapon.
-No weapon.
-Bitch! Cunt! Please, please, please don't do this, Agent Kulok. You need me.
-How did you know Speck was a killer?
-Who are you?
-Agent Mackelway?
-Yes.
-This is Richard Low. Stay on the phone. Do not disconnect. I'm watching you. I will instruct you where to drive.
-Yes, sir.
-Dave Koessler must have you jumping through hoops.
-I believe it is you, sir, who has us jumping through hoops.
-How's the arm?
-I've been reading, hearing about you. I spoke to Koessler, Professor Daitz.
-He couldn't break an egg with a hammer. He still writing those crime porn books?
-He's moved on to TV.
-What was your weakness, sir?
-I'm not sure, exactly. I had monsters on the brain. I wanted to get these guys, every one of them. I got obsessive.
-Suspect Zero?
-Deputy Director Koessler opposed the theory because it meant pressing the legal envelope, risking high-profile failure. Better to get rid of me. Then he could be Mr. Serial Killer, Mr. Authority on Deviant Behavior -- no embarrassing questions about the contribution of one Richard Low. Do you really think that plane crashed by accident? Do you really think I wasn't on it by accident?
-So you went underground?
-Was I afraid of Dave Koessler? Not likely. I told you, I'd gotten a bit obsessive. It was an opportunity to back off, think things through. Where's the file?
-I don't carry it with me.
-You're a smart guy. Tell me what it says.
-Hum a tune and I'll sing to it.
-It's my master list of missing persons: men, boys, girls, children over the last ten years. Two hundred and eighty-five names. A pool of possible victims.
-Zero killed them all?
-Of course not. They're possibles. I've checked them against Bureau records, check them against your file. How did you get it?
-After my hiatus, after I got my priorities readjusted, I drifted online, started tracking porn chat rooms, looking for Zero. Got accepted, came across these boys swapping stories, pictures, downloads. Never found Zero, but I did come across some Class A scumbags.
-How do you know who's real and who's not?
-And who else did I find? Agent Thomas Mackelway, crackerjack FBI techie. I was greatly disappointed when you were re-assigned.
-You knew it was me all along?
-There's someone out there, Mack, I know, some man killing for the fun of it, sniffing human glue, without regard to age or sex, without predicable M.O. Someone who has a way to dispose of the bodies. You have access, you can call up local authorities, check morgues, conduct interviews. Be my man.
-I already have an employer.
-If you won't do it for me, do it for your cousin, Nadine, right? The girl in the pink sweater.
-Who told you about her?
-You did. You were with her when she disappeared, right? She took you to the mall or the movies, you turn around and she's gone.
-It was the mall.
-I know you, Lionheart. I watched your mind work, heard your dirty thoughts --
-We're alike. We are hunters. We have the gift. It's ancient times all over again. We stand between order and chaos. I need help. I can't carry on alone.
-Maybe you should back off.
-This guy, Zero, he drifts around, that's how they all start, drifting around, their minds filling up with fantasies. He thinks he's real smart, laughs at us, laughs at his victims. But he has left a trail, and the trail is somewhere in those names. You know how to reach me. Take my advice, when dealing with these FBI tight-asses, go by the book.
-You? You went by the book?
-Is he dead?
-Yeah.
-Was it Zero?
-[Fantasy time, girls, give it up, give it up.]
-[Reality very risky.]
-[Lionheart, what happened?]
-[You want to talk, Lionheart, or you want to take this a little more personal?]
-Lead the way, Murman.
-I've been to Chicago.
-[Not this way. Call it a little favor, call it a little thing I'm going to do for you. I'm going to make Chicago come alive for you. You'll owe me one.]
-If I owe, I will go.
-[The address is 147 South Rane. It's a lively address. You got a problem with dark meat?]
-Haven't had any, but I'm willing to try.
-[If you wanted a good steak, you should have gone to Omaha.]
-Let's talk about Zero.
-[Hello, Agent Mackelway. How's the watch? Maybe you can do one of those TV commercials, I found my watch under a serial killer's heart and it was still ticking.]
-I want to help you.
-I've located the Suspect Zero file. Did you know there was one? Koessler ordered it as part of your evaluation.
-[Don't jerk a jerk-off. There's nothing in the Bureau mainframe.]
-Not everything is imputed to memory. The most confidential stuff is kept top secret hard copy. Why would the Zero file be kept secret?
-[You tell me.]
-George Sheldon? The second serial killer killed in the manner of his killings. The crime scene profile was never entered into VICAP. At whose request? David Koessler.
-[What does the file say?]
-I want to go live with you.
-[And I want to go back to Needlepoint.]
-Leave this room, I'll go back with you, blow your cover.
-Good morning, sir. Agent Salinas, sir.
-So you're the new meat?
-Yes, sir.
-What did you do to end up here?
-I believe it's in my file, sir.
-Johnny, get this man's file. Mackelway, right?
-Thomas Mackelway.
-Hot enough for you, Agent Mackelway? Hell's doorknob. What they got you doing?
-Updating the condition of all Bureau- owned vehicles in the southwest sector, sir.
-"Computer Investigation and Infrastructure Assessment Center." Quantico out of MIT -- you're a techie? Okay, you screwed up once. So did half the guys here. That's why they're here.
-I screwed up twice, sir.
-I see that. Washington to Philadelphia to here. Philly's a nice station. How many agents?
-Four hundred and sixty, sir.
-"Attitude Adjustment Issues" -- what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
-I wished to be reinstated at Computer Crimes. I was undiplomatic in my request.
-This is a first. You criticized the Deputy Director to his face and you still have a badge? You must have some one-of-a-kind skills. Why don't you just quit? I mean, you're not going to get promoted, not wearing this jacket.
-I like working for the Bureau, sir. I like catching bad guys. It's all I care about.
-Agent Mackelway, you want to get off your ass and do something for a change?
-Yes, sir.
-Headed there now. The same shift will be on at noon.
-This case has sent bells and alarms ringing all the way to Washington. Your old boss is coming out.
-Koessler?
-No.
-"MyDick?"
-MyDick. As in my dick. That was his screen name.
-I don't...
-Eight, nine months ago. When I was at Computer Crime. I got into a chat room with someone named MyDick. I'd talked to him before. Everything I saw yesterday, everything in the autopsies, it's identical. The forensics are dead on. MyDick's fantasies involved a hog-tie rig, nylon cord, torture with pliers, rip the nipples -- when the "item" screams, she chokes. He had a
-Speck is dead.
-But why attack an Agent?
-How far is Amarillo?
-350 miles.
-Locate a jet, we're going to Amarillo.
-Excuse me, Agent Mackelway?
-I don't think you understand.
-What is it exactly I don't understand, Agent Mackelway?
-Deputy Director Koessler doesn't want Zero. All he cares about is Low.
-I'm Agent Thomas Mackelway, FBI. There is no way you will escape. Assistant Deputy Director Richard Low is en route with another Agent. You may know Low by another name. You may know him by the name Murman. I am Lionheart.
-Murman!
-He's a brilliant man. Brilliant enough to catch you.
-You want to "profile" me? Find out what makes me "tick"? Write about me, go on a talk show, give me a nickname?
-It's over for you.
-Michael, this is Grandma. I want to know if you got the part on that television program. I told the whole family and they're very excited to know if... Skipping message. End of final message.
-Shit.
-You have to put things in perspective.
-I know, I know.
-You've been through worse.
-You're right. I know.
-Ever since I've known you.
-I don't know about that.
-Moving here from New York was much more of an adjustment than this.
-It didn't feel that way.
-That's because it was a challenge. You has control over you're situation. It was hard, but you rose to it.
-Okay. I'll think about that. Bye.
-You really should. Life, after all, is really just a series of challenges...
-Enough. I've got to use the phone.
-Are you calling Her?
-You should call your Grandmother.
-Don't do it, Mike.
-Do you realize that I've been waiting for that call for six months and I cut her off?
-How are you ladies doing this evening?
-What do you drive?
-I'm sorry?
-What kind of car do you drive?
-You like laughing at the misery of others?
-Thanks.
-I've seen you somewhere... Where have I seen you?
-You ever go to the Kelbo's? On Pico?
-...maybe...
-...Monday nights? I host an open mike...
-You're a comedian?
-Yeah.
-What's that like?
-Well, you know, it's tough. A lot of traveling. A lot of hotels... but, you know, it's a dream... and the money's really good. I think I might buy another really expensive imported car after my next gig in Vegas...
-I know! Starbucks! I served you an espresso at Starbucks.
-Are you sure? Maybe...
-Yes! Remember? You asked me for an application? I introduced you to the manager?
-Oh, yeah... Boy, that must've been a while ago.
-I'd say about two weeks.
-Probably a little longer than that, but, whatever.
-Well, thank you...?
-Nikki.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-I'm Mike.
-Hi, Mike. I'm Lorraine.
-Like the quiche?
-Yes. Like the quiche.
-I like quiche.
-I thought real men don't like quiche.
-My reputation seems to have preceded me.
-Why? You're not a real man?
-...so I thought, what the hell, they make movies in L.A., not in Michigan, so I moved here.
-Just like that?
-Well, it wasn't the simple, but yeah.
-How was it hard?
-Well, I left someone very special behind.
-Tell me about it...
-You too?
-Yeah.
-I thought I was going to die.
-It's been six months and I'm just starting to get over it.
-Oh, God. That's two more than me. Tell me it gets better.
-It does.
-How?
-Well, it still sucks, but you start to see that there are advantages to being single.
-Like what?
-What else?
-What else...? Let's see... You have complete freedom.
-To do what?
-I don't know... To grow, to go out. Whatever you want.
-Anything?
-Anything.
-Like if I meet a handsome young man and I wanted to ask him to dance? I can do that?
-Uh, if the guy wants to.
-You don't think the guy would find me attractive enough to dance with?
-Yes. I mean, no. I mean, maybe he would find her, I mean you attractive. Maybe he doesn't like to dance. Maybe all he likes to do is just stand around and drink and smoke and look cool with his buddies who don't dance either...
-Maybe it doesn't matter if he's a good dancer cause it's a slow song, if that's what he's afraid of.
-No... Maybe that's not the case. Maybe she shouldn't be such a smug little shit because she'd be surprised at what a good dancer he really is, but it's been a long time and he doesn't know if he's ready to...
-Charles! What's up, man?
-Oh. You know.
-Did you, um, did you get that pilot?
-No, man. I know you didn't get it 'cause you wouldn't've asked me. It wasn't that funny anyway...
-...and boy does it hurt when they ask.
-I don't even tell them about anything I'm close on anymore...
-...not until you book it...
-...and even then...
-You want to come with us to a party at the Chateau Marmont? They got a bungalow and lots of beautiful babies.
-They're out of Glenlivet.
-Why don't I just wait three weeks and tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and found her number...
-...then ask where you met her...
-Hi.
-Oh, I'm sorry. How'd your folks take it?
-I haven't heard an official "no" yet.
-You haven't told then, huh?
-No.
-I'm considering taking a job as a "Goofy".
-...I heard it took four days to light for that shot...
-I know what you're saying, man. I don't know what to tell you...
-Hi, boys, we almost gave up on you.
-Oh, are we late? There are no clocks in this town.
-No... no... The worst was when I went in for this After-School special and I'm sitting in the waiting room with all these little kids. I see they're all signed in for the same role as me...
-They were auditioning for the same role as you?
-It's like, you looked at my tape. You saw my picture. Why did you call me in? You knew I was twenty-four.
-Let me just check on my boy.
-Always...
-Lisa works at the MGM Grand...
-Oh my God.
-The poor thing. Six years?
-...And she's with someone else.
-He's so sweet. He really said that?
-I believe it too. He really just wants her to be happy.
-A couple of high rollers like you?
-Could you believe it?
-Wait here, I'll get you that martini.
-Nah, I didn't really want it anyway. I just wanted to order it.
-Can I get you something else? I mean, you shouldn't leave without getting something for free.
-What do you guys do?
-On the table.
-Sorry?
-You have to lay it on the table.
-You're not allowed to hand me money, sir. You'll have to lay it on the table if you want me to change it.
-Huh?
-You want this in black chips.
-Do you have anything smaller?
-Do you ever perform out here? I'd love to see you.
-No...
-You should. A lot of comics play Vegas.
-Well, I'm afraid it's not that easy...
-Why not?
-There are different circuits... it's hard to explain... you wouldn't understand...
-Who's your booking agent?
-Oh? You know about booking agents... I don't, uh, actually have a west coast agent as of yet...
-Well, who represents you back east?
-Actually, it's funny you... I'm actually, uh, between...
-I'm sure she'll call. Six years is a long time. You don't just break it off cleanly after six years.
-I know, but she did. She's with someone else now...
-Already? You poor thing. It won't last.
-Why not?
-It's a rebound.
-We were a rebound, and we lasted six years.
-Yeah, but how long was the relationship she was rebounding from?
-Can I check my messages? I have a calling card.
-Sorry, it's just that...
-You said there are advantages to being single. I want to know what the advantages are.
-Well... This is it.
-Listen. I had a great time.
-Me too.
-I would love to see you again sometime.
-I'll be around.
-That's not good enough. I want to make plans to see you.
-You're a comedian?
-Yeah. And an actor.
-I'll have to come see you sometime.
-If and when I get a real gig I'll call you.
-It's not going to well?
-When I lived in New York they made it sound like they were giving out sit-coms to stand-ups at the airport. I got off the plane in L.A. six months ago and all I got to show for it is a tan.
-Didn't you tell me to be patient with my career?
-...Yeah, but entertainment law isn't something you just jump into...
-Neither is acting. Not if you're serious about it. Can I have one of these?
-Why, you like the duck with the cigar?
-Yeah. Nice touch. It's the logo from "You Bet Your Life", right?
-Good eye. Not one club owner got it. They all ask me why I got Donald Duck on my card.
-Well, I should be getting...
-...It's really getting late.
-Can I give you a ride to your car...?
-...Nah. I'm right across the street...
-...Which one...?
-...The red piece of shit over there...
-...well, it suits you...
-Hello?
-Hi, Mike?
-Lorraine?
-Are you on the other line?
-Yeah, hold on.
-I can call back...
-Hi. Sorry about that.
-You didn't have to get off the other line. I would've called you back.
-Hi, Lorraine. Thanks for holding on.
-How's it going? It's been a while...
-...Six months.
-How are you doing?
-Fine... I guess. You?
-Good. I think about things.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-What kind of things?
-You know, us.
-I thought you met someone else.
-It doesn't matter. I think about you every day.
-Really?
-I miss you, Mike.
-Why didn't you call?
-I couldn't. Do you know how hard it's been not to call you? I pick up the phone every night. Whenever that commercial comes on...
-...the Michelin commercial...
-...Yeah, with the baby in the tire. One time I started to cry right in front of Pierre...
-Pierre... That's his name? Pierre? Is he French?
-Hi.
-I heard you might be moving back...
-Yeah, uh, I don't think that's gonna be happening any time soon... Listen, can I call you right back? I gotta take this call...
-I'm not home and going out of town tomorrow for a week. Can't you talk for five more minutes?
-I really want to catch up with you, but I've gotta take this call. They're holding. I'll talk with you when you get back in town. Bye.
-And what if I don't want to give up on her?
-You don't call.
-But you said I shouldn't call if I wanted to give up on her.
-Right.
-So I don't call either way.
-Right.
-So what's the difference?
-The only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. See, you can't do anything to make her want to come back. You can only do things to make her not want to come back.
-So the only difference is if I forget about her or pretend to forget about her.
-Right.
-Well that sucks.
-It sucks.
-So it's almost a retroactive decision. So I could, like, let's say, forget about her and when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her.
-Right... or more likely the opposite.
-Right... Wait, what do you mean?
-I mean first you'll pretend not to care, not call -- whatever, and then, eventually, you really won't care.
-Unless she comes back first.
-Ah, see, that's the thing. Somehow they don't come back until you really don't care anymore.
-There's the rub.
-There's the rub.
-Thanks, man. Sorry we always talk about the same thing all the time...
-Hey man, don't sweat it.
-...It's just that you've been there. Your advice really helps.
-No problem.
-Rob, I just want you to know, you're the only one I can talk to about her.
-I don't think I'm gonna take it.
-It's a gig.
-I mean, I need the money.
-You're an actor. Find the Zen in the role.
-It's definitely a step back for me.
-Look, there's not much of a call for Shakespeare in this town.
-There's just something about being "Goofy". Any other Disney character would be fine. There's just this stigma associated with the character.
-What do you want? You're tall.
-Do you realize how hard it's going to be to tell my parents? I still haven't told them I didn't get the pilot.
-You tested over a month ago. I'm sure they figured it out by now.
-Haven't you noticed I didn't mention Michelle once today?
-I didn't want to say anything.
-Why?
-I don't know. It's like not talking to a pitcher in the midst of a no hitter.
-What? Like, you didn't want to jinx it?
-Kinda.
-I don't talk about her that much.
-Oh no?
-I didn't mention her once today.
-The only reason I mentioned her at all is to say that I'm not going to talk about her anymore. I thought you'd appreciate that.
-I do. Good for you, man.
-You want to hit the town tonight?
-I shouldn't, Mike, it's a weeknight.
-What do you have? A Pluto call back?
-How many strokes?
-I don't know. Eight or Nine.
-I'll give you an eight.
-What'd you get?
-An eight.
-So, if the party starts at eight, why are we first going to a bar at ten?
-To get a drink before we meet the guys for a bite at eleven.
-Oh. Where is this place?
-It's one of these. For some reason, cool bars in L.A. have to be very hard to find and have no signs out front.
-That doesn't sound too good for business.
-It's kinda like a speakeasy kind of thing. It's kinda cool. It's like you're in on some kind of secret. You tell a chick you've been some place, it's like bragging that you know how to find it. The only way you could know where a place is is if someone who knows brought you there. You have to have someone come before. There
-Sounds more like Aids...
-Kinda money, huh?
-I'll get a Dewars rocks...
-Bud.
-I can't get over how cute the girls in this city are.
-I know. It's like the opposite of inbreeding. The hottest one percent from around the world migrate to this gene pool.
-Darwinism at its best.
-I've been around here six months and I still can't get over it.
-It's like, every day I see a beautiful woman. I'm not used to that. I'm used to seeing a beautiful woman, I don't know, once a week. I can't handle it.
-Wait till summer. I swear, you can't leave the house. It hurts. It physically hurts.
-I can't wait till I actually get to touch one of them.
-Ah, there's the rub...
-Charles and me went to network on this pilot together.
-I just tested for one...
-...What's the big deal? Everyone steals from everyone.
-What's that guy's name? Sue?
-Sue. His dad was big Johnny Cash fan.
-Oh, like that song...
-..."A Boy Named Sue". I think that's why he's such a bad cat.
-Him?
-There are so many beautiful women here.
-It's unbelievable.
-I got to at least try once.
-You're a better man than I am, Charlie Brown.
-No, I just promised myself I'd give it a try. I gotta get out there sooner or later.
-I'm going in. Will you be my wing- man?
-Thanks, man.
-You haven't been drinking, have you?
-Sorry about what happened at the Dresden. I had no idea...
-You want to talk about it?
-What's the point?
-Uuuuugh!
-Oh boy.
-I'm such an asshole.
-I think I'm gonna move Back East.
-Well, that's dumb.
-What's dumb about it?
-Well, you're doing so well...
-How am I doing well? I host an open mike and I played a fuckin' bus driver in a movie. Big fuckin' deal. I'm with an agency that specializes in fuckin magicians. How good am I doing?
-At least you didn't get turned down for Goofy...
-They turned you down?
-See, it's all how you look at it. If your life sucks, then mine is God awful. I mean, I moved out here partially because I saw how well you were doing. You got in the union, you got an agent. I thought if you could make it, maybe I could too...
-I didn't make it...
-Then why won't she call...?
-Because you left, man. She's got her own world to deal with in New York. She was a sweet girl but fuck her. You gotta move on. You gotta let go of the past. The future is so beautiful. Every day is so sunny out here. It's like Manifest Destiny man. I mean, we made it. What's past is prologue. That which does not
-How did you get over it? I mean how long 'til it stopped hurting?
-You miss the pain?
-...for the same reason you miss her. You lived with it so long.
-Wow. You wanna grab a bite?
-By the way, the guys back home said she put on some weight.
-You little bitch!
-You should play another team. The Kings are bitches in this game.
-It's kinda money, actually.
-Make someone bleed.
-Pause it.
-...which means no one will get there 'til ten.
-What's he do?
-...How can you compare them? Tarantino totally bites everything from Scorsese...
-Who threw this party, anyway?
-How's it going for you two?
-Not well.
-Big butt... you know, can't fly coach.
-She was cute.
-He's a bitch. He ain't gonna do nothing.
-You asshole. Why are you carrying a gun? What? In case someone steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
-Yeah. Here it's easier to avoid trouble. It's not like you like in Compton where bullets are whizzing by your head every day. Nobody's mugging you on no subway. In New York the trouble finds you. Out here you gotta go look for it...
-You live in such a fantasy world...
-What about you, Mikey? At least I got balls. You're always whining about some bitch who dumped you a year ago...
-...It was six months, and she didn't dump...
-I'm so sorry, man. You were so right. I got rid of the gun
-What are they doing here?
-But most important, man, I'm sorry about what I said. I was drunk... My adrenaline was going...
-Don't sweat it, man. I needed a kick in the ass. We're better friends for it.
-Thanks, man. I've been hating myself for the last two days.
-Good for you, man. He's being smart.
-Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
-Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
-Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
-Hi. This is Nikki. Leaves a message.
-Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
-Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.
-Hi, Nikki. Mike. I don't think this is working out. I think you're great, but maybe we should just take some time off from each other. It's not you, really. It's me. It's only been six months...
-Mike?
-Nikki! Great! Did you just walk in, or were you listening all along?
-Don't call me ever again.
-There you two are. I walked around for an hour with that stupid martini on my tray.
-Are you ready to order?
-Coffee... Two coffees. It says "Breakfast Any Time", right?
-That's right.
-Excuse me. We're in a bit of a hurry.
-Hello?
-S'up Trent?
-That was Sue. We got two parties tonight. One's for a modeling agency.
-I don't know...
-Listen to me, baby, there are going to be beautiful babies there.
-Trent, I don't feel like going out tonight. I got shit to do tomorrow...
-Listen to you. I got an audition for a pilot at nine and I'm going. You gotta get out with some beautiful babies. You can't sit home thinking about her.
-I don't know...
-I don't know, I don't know -- listen to you. We're gonna have fun tonight. We gotta get you out of that stuffy apartment.
-We're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this party and then leaving cause it sucks, then we're gonna look for this other party you heard about. But, Trent, all the parties and bars, they all suck. I spend half the night trying to talk to some girl who's eyes are darting around to see if there's someone else she
-You got it bad, baby. You need Vegas.
-What are you talking about? Vegas?
-VEGAS.
-What Vegas?
-We're going to Vegas.
-When?
-Tonight, baby.
-You're crazy.
-I'll pick you up in a half an hour.
-I'm not going to Vegas.
-I can't lose more than a hundred.
-Just bring your card. Half an hour.
-Wait.
-What?
-What are you wearing? I mean, we should wear suits.
-Oh... Now Mikey wants to be a high roller.
-No, seriously, if you're dressed nice and you act like you gamble a lot, they give you free shit.
-Okay Bugsy. Twenty minutes.
-Wear a suit, I'm telling you it works.
-I took out three hundred, but I'm only gonna bet with one. I figure if we buy a lot of chips, the pit boss will see and they'll comp us all sorts of shit, then we trade back the chips at the end of the night. You gotta be cool though.
-I'm cool, baby. They're gonna give Daddy a room, some breakfast, maybe Bennett's singing.
-I'm serious. This is how you do it. I'm telling you.
-I know. Daddy's gonna get the Rainman suite. Vegas, baby. We're going to Vegas!
-Vegas! You think we'll get there by midnight?
-Baby, we're gonna be up by five hundy by midnight. Vegas, baby!
-Vegas, baby!
-Vegas.
-Wake up, baby.
-Whu?
-Pirates of the fucking Caribbean.
-This is the hot new place, besides, you love pirates. Tell me Mikey doesn't love pirates.
-This is fuckin' post-pubescent Disneyland.
-This place is dead. I thought this was the city that never sleeps.
-That's New York, baby. You should know that. Look at the waitresses. I'm gonna get me a peg-leg baby.
-They're all skanks.
-Baby, there are beautiful babies here.
-Tee, the beautiful babies don't work Wednesdays midnight to six. This is the skank shift.
-Cut that shit out.
-She smiled baby.
-That's not cool.
-Did she, or did she not smile?
-It doesn't matter...
-I'm telling you, they love that shit.
-You're gonna screw up our plan.
-We're gonna get laid, baby.
-First let's see what happens if we play it cool.
-What? You think she's gonna tell her pit-boss on us?
-Don't make fun, I think we can get some free shit if we don't fuck around.
-Who's fucking around? I'm not making fun. Let's do it, baby.
-The trick is to look like you don't need it, then they give you shit for free.
-That's where we make our scene.
-You think they're watching?
-Double down.
-What?!?
-Double down, baby. You gotta double down on an eleven.
-I know, but...
-You gotta do it.
-...but that's two hundred dollars. This is blood money...
-I'm telling you, baby, you always double down on an eleven.
-Yeah? Well obviously not always!
-Always, baby.
-I'm just saying, not in this particular case.
-Always.
-...Well, you know, not counting the first table.
-Thanks for clarifying that.
-Hey, man, I'm down too, you know.
-Yea, how much?
-I don't know, what? Thirty, Forty maybe.
-Don't give me that shit. You know exactly how much you lost. What'd you drop?
-Twenty... but I was down at least fifty. I'm sorry, I got hot at the crap table.
-You won. There's nothing to be sorry about. You're a winner. I'm the fuckin loser. I should be sorry.
-Baby, don't talk like that, baby.
-Let's just leave.
-Baby, you're money. You're the big winner.
-Let's go.
-Mikey's the big winner.
-What an asshole.
-What an asshole.
-That was money. Tell me that wasn't money.
-That was so demeaning...
-She smiled, baby.
-I can't believe what an asshole you are.
-Did she, or did she not smile.
-She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
-She was smiling at how money I am, baby.
-Let's go. I'm not paying for a room, and if we don't leave now we'll never make it.
-Leave? The honey-baby's bringing us some cocktails.
-What are you, nuts? You think she's coming back?
-I know she's coming back.
-I don't think so.
-Baby, did you hear her? "You shouldn't leave without getting something for free." She wants to party, baby.
-You think so?
-You gotta give Tee one thing. He's good with the ladies.
-I'm too tired for this. Let's just go.
-Baby, this is what we came for. We met a beautiful baby and she likes you.
-She likes you.
-Whatever. We'll see. Daddy's gonna get her to bring a friend. We'll both get one. I don't care if I'm with her or one of her beautiful baby friends.
-I don't know...
-You gotta get that girl out of your head. It's time to move on. You're a stylish, successful, good looking cat. The ladies want to love you, you just gotta let them.
-That's bullshit.
-It's not. You're money. Any of these ladies would be lucky to pull a cat like you.
-It's just that I've been out of the game so long. Trent, I was with her for six years. That's before AIDS. I'm scared. I don't know how to talk to them, I don't know...
-You can't think like that, baby. It's hard, I know. I've been there. Not for six years, but I know. You just gotta get back out there.
-It's just tough, after sleeping with someone you love for so long, to be with someone new... who doesn't know what I like... and you gotta wear a jimmy...
-...gotta...
-...and then I'm struggling to impress some chick who's not half as classy as my girlfriend, who I'm not even really attracted to...
-That was so fuckin' money. It was like that "Jedi mind" shit.
-That's what I'm telling you, baby. The babies love that stuff. They don't want all that sensitive shit. You start talking to them about puppy dogs and ice cream. They know what you want. What do you think? You think they don't?
-I know. I know.
-They know what you want, believe me. Pretending is just a waste of time. You're gonna take them there eventually anyway. Don't apologize for it.
-I'm just trying to be a gentleman, show some respect...
-Nice, baby.
-I should've said Renaissance, right? It went over her head.
-Baby, you did fine.
-"Age of Enlightenment". Shit. Like some waitress in a Las Vegas coffee shop is going to get an obscure French philosophical reference. How demeaning. I may as well have just said "Let me jump your ignorant bones."...
-...Baby...
-...It's just, I thought "Renaissance" was too Excaliber, it's the wrong casino. She would've gotten it, though...
-You did fine. Don't sweat her. We're meeting our honeys soon. You know Christy's friend is going to be money.
-I hope so. We gotta go soon.
-Baby, relax. It's just down the hall. She's gotta change... we'll be fine.
-We didn't do so bad after all.
-I'm Mike... and this is my friend "Doubledown Trent".
-Whatever.
-Oh... a Dorothy.
-What was the part?
-Oh... "I love you... I can't believe you're doing this... Drugs are bad..." Whatever. After-School bullshit. The role is Brother.
-"Big Brother", "Little Brother"?
-Wait... Wait... Just "Brother". So I go in. "Hello... Hi... We loved your guest spot on Baywatch... blah blah blah..." Whatever. So, I start to read, and, Mikey, I was money. I prepared for a week. It's a starring role. I'm crying... The casting director, she starts crying...
-No!
-Wait... She's crying. I finish. I hold up my finger like "Wait a second". They sit in silence for, like, at least five minutes. I look up and they all start clapping, and now they're all crying. Even the camera guy.
-No! Not the camera guy!
-...So give me the fuckin part...
-Right?... that I nailed it... Whatever. Then he says it's just that I'm a little old. I'm like "How old is the Brother?". He's like, he says this with a straight face, I swear to God, he says "Eleven."
-No, man. I need to use the phone.
-What?
-I gotta use the phone.
-Baby, you'll check them tomorrow.
-Please, Tee. I have to use the phone. Sorry, man.
-She asked me what I was thinking about? What should I have done? Lie?
-You didn't have to get into it, baby.
-Sorry about interrupting...
-Don't worry about me, baby. I just wanted you to have a good time.
-Christy was nice...
-I didn't even like her, to be honest.
-She was hot.
-She really didn't do it for me, baby. How'd you like Dorothy?
-I don't know. The whole Judy Garland thing kind of turned me on. Does that makes me some kind of fag?
-No, baby. You're money.
-She didn't like me, anyway.
-She thought you were money.
-I don't think so.
-I heard them talking. They both thought you were money.
-Yeah, a good friend.
-Baby, you take yourself out of the game. You start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream, of course it's gonna be on the friend tip.
-I just don't think she liked me in that way.
-Baby, you're so money you don't even know it.
-Tee, girls don't go for me the way they go for you.
-Michelle went for you, right.
-That was different.
-How?
-I was younger... It was college. You didn't go to college, you don't know what it's like. You screw chicks you have no business being with. They're young, they don't know any better.
-That's just plain silly. Your self- esteem is just low because she's with someone else. But thinking about it and talking about it all the time is bad. It's no good, man. You gotta get out there. The ladies want to love you, baby.
-I just need some time...
-Why? So you can beat yourself up? Sitting around in that stuffy apartment. It's just plain bad for you, man. It's depressing. You've come so far. Remember the first week? After she told you? You couldn't even eat.
-Don't remind me.
-You just sat around drinking orange juice. Now look at you. Look how far you've come in just a few months. You got that part in that movie...
-...a day...
-...Whatever. It's work. You're doing what you love. What's she doing?
-Selling scrap metal.
-See? And what does this guy she's with do?
-He drives a carriage.
-What?!?
-I hear he drives a carriage around Central Park or something.
-Please. And you're sweating him? You're "all that" and you're sweating some lawn jockey?
-I hear she's getting real fat.
-I wish the game still had fights so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
-This version doesn't have fighting?
-No. Doesn't that suck?
-No.
-You guys are such assholes.
-What time's this party tonight?
-Who? Rob?
-Yeah. You met him once.
-...the Copa, in New York...
-...Maybe. I mean you gotta hide all the lights...
-How you guys doing?
-It's on.
-Which one?
-What are you doing?
-What?
-You looked right at her, baby.
-I'm sorry.
-Was I money?
-I don't know. It was kind of a dick move if you ask me.
-Why, baby? What'd I do wrong?
-You asked her for her number, and then you tore it up.
-She didn't see.
-We got the digits, baby.
-What a surprise.
-Please, don't mess with me right now...
-You're not just, like, fucking with me?
-How long do I wait to call?
-A day.
-Tomorrow?
-So, two days?
-What the fuck..?
-You were off your ass back there! Where the hell did you learn to do all that twirly whirly shit?
-I took a ballroom class with Michelle. I never danced with anyone but her, til tonight. That Lorraine chick is good.
-It's not like that...
-Don't give me that! She liked you, man.
-Guys... Guys... I got it under control.
-Bitch... You little bitch!
-Because he's a bitch.
-...against the computer.
-They're a finesse team...
-They're a bitch team... SCORE! Roenick!
-I don't know. I guess kids were hitting each other or something.
-You could make their heads bleed, though.
-Is he cute? Ask him if he wants to stay for a cocktail!
-What a surprise...
-Oh, it's on, baby...
-Is she looking at me, baby?
-No.
-Now?
-No.
-Is she looking now?
-No! She's not looking at you. She hasn't looked at you once. Will you stop asking if... Wait, she just looked.
-Yes she did.
-That was pretty cold, dude.
-It's on.
-You think?
-Baby, I know it is. It's a black diamond trail...
-...double diamond...
-...but it's worth the risk. True or false: It's worth the risk.
-Baby, don't talk that way, baby...
-You are so money, and you don't even know it...
-...we're not...
-You're like this big bear with claws and fangs...
-...and big fuckin' teeth...
-...and teeth... And she's like this little bunny cowering in the corner...
-...shivering...
-...And you're just looking at your claws like "How do I kill this bunny?"...
-...You're just poking at it...
-...Yeah. You're just gently batting it around... and the rabbit's all scared...
-...and you got big claws and fangs...
-...and fangs... and you're like "I don't know what to do. How do I kill this bunny?"...
-...honestly...
-...you're money...
-...you're so fuckin mmmoney.
-Now go over there and get those digits.
-You're money.
-...Tomorrow, then a day.
-Definitely. Two days. That's the industry standard...
-...I used to wait two days. Now everyone waits two days. Three days is kinda money now, don't you think?
-...Yeah. But two's enough not to look anxious...
-Laugh all you want, but if you call to soon you can scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
-You dick.
-...Anaheim...
-...Oh, who would jack your fuckin K- car? He's right, Sue. You don't need no gat.
-Listen. Just because I was the only one with the balls to stand up to them...
-...Sue...
-Have you gotten laid once since you moved here? Did you fuck once?
-...Shut up, Sue...
-I know for a fact you haven't, because you never shut up about it. You're like a little whiney bitch...
-It's on...
-It's on.
-It is on.
-Sorry man.
-Yeah. You probably coulda hit that tonight if you didn't have to drive us home.
-The bear's got his claws back.
-Be smart about it.
-I'm telling you. Wait three days...
-You don't have to wait three days...
-...Okay, two...
-...Well, then, I guess we don't have to worry about him anymore.
-...One fifty-nine, Two minutes.
-Two vodka martinis, straight up, shaken not stirred, very dry, easy on the water.
-Beautiful. What time are you off... ...Christy?
-And you?
-I'll have the Blackbeard over easy.
-Yes, I understand. I'm listening.
-Anything...Anything the Godfather wishes.
-Good. He never doubted you.
-The Don himself is coming to me tonight?
-This is Tom Hagen; I'm calling for Don Corleone, at his request.
-Yes, I understand I'm listening.
-Bonasera, we know each other for years, but this is the first time you come to me for help. I don't remember the last time you invited me to your house for coffee...even though our wives are friends.
-What do you want of me? I'll give you anything you want, but do what I ask!
-No. You ask for too much.
-I ask for Justice.
-The Court gave you justice.
-An eye for an eye!
-But your daughter is still alive.
-You never think to protect yourself with real friends. You think it's enough to be an American. All right, the Police protects you, there are Courts of Law, so you don't need a friend like me. But now you come to me and say Don Corleone, you must give me justice. And you don't ask in respect or friendship. And you don't think to
-America has been good to me...
-Be my friend.
-Good. From me you'll get Justice.
-Godfather.
-What do you wish me to do?
-Understood. I just wish I was doing more to help out.
-Jesus, Connie...Sure, Mike...
-Godfather!
-You fingered Sonny for the Barzini people. That little farce you played out with my sister. Did Barzini kid you that would fool a Corleone?
-I swear I'm innocent. I swear on the head of my children, I'm innocent. Mike, don't do this to me, please Mike, don't do this to me!
-Don't be frightened. Do you think I'd make my sister a widow? Do you think I'd make your children fatherless? After all, I'm Godfather to your son. No, your punishment is that you're out of the family business. I'm putting you on a plane to Vegas--and I want you to stay there. I'll send Connie an allowance, that's all. But don't keep saying you're
-Barzini.
-What's the matter, Carlo?
-What was that?
-You're staying home. You're not going out.
-The food is on the table.
-I'm not hungry yet.
-Eat it, it's on the table.
-Ba Fa Goulle.
-You filthy guinea spoiled brat. Clean it up or I'll kick your head in.
-You heard about your father?
-Yeah.
-The word is out in the streets that he's dead.
-Where the hell was Paulie, why wasn't he with the Don?
-Paulie's been a little sick all winter...he was home.
-How many times did he stay home the last couple of months?
-Maybe three, four times. I always asked Freddie if he wanted another bodyguard, but he said no. Things have been so smooth the last ten years...
-Go get Paulie, I don't care how sick he is. Pick him up yourself, and bring him to my father's house.
-That's all? Don't you want me to send some people over here?
-Clemenza. You take care of Paulie. I don't ever want to see him again. Understood?
-Understood.
-You take care of Paulie?
-Sollozzo knows Mike's a civilian.
-I want somebody very good, very safe to plant that gun. I don't want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hand.
-The gun will be there.
-You're on, kid...I'll square it with Mom your not seeing her before you left. And I'll get a message to your girl friend when I think the time is right.
-Mostly it gives witnesses an excuse to change their identification when we make them see the light. Then you take a long vacation and we catch the hell.
-How bad will it be?
-We gotta fight sometime. Let us at least recruit our regimes to full strength.
-He's going to be our lawyer in Vegas. Nobody goes to him with any other business as of now, this minute. No reflection on Tom; that's the way I want it. Besides, if I ever need any advice, who's a better Consigliere than my father.
-Then in a six month time we're on our own; is that it?
-You look terrif on the floor!
-I tol' you to stay put, Paulie...
-Outside.
-I'll think about it.
-Good for ten men...
-You think we'll go for that last place?
-Maybe, or you gotta know now.
-My business is heroin, I have poppy fields, laboratories in Narseilles and Sicily, ready to go into production. My importing methods are as safe as these things can be, about five per cent loss. The risk is nothing, the profits enormous.
-Why do you come to me? Why do I deserve your generosity?
-I need two million dollars in cash...more important, I need a friend who has people in high places; a friend who can guarantee that if one of my employees be arrested, they would get only light sentences. Be my friend.
-What percentages for my family?
-Thirty per cent. In the first year your share would be four million dollars; then it would go up.
-My compliments. I'll take care of them from my share.
-So. I receive 30 per cent just for finance and legal protection. No worries about operations, is that what you tell me?
-No...how a man makes his living is none of my business. But this proposition of yours is too risky. All the people in my family lived well the last ten years, I won't risk that out of greed.
-Are you worried about security for your million?
-No.
-I kept trying to call you after my divorce and Tom always said you were busy. When I got the Wedding invitation I knew you weren't sore at me anymore, Godfather.
-Can I do something for you still? You're not too rich, or too famous that I can't help you?
-All right, Hollywood...Now tell me about this Hollywood Pezzonovanta who won't let you work.
-You take care of your family?
-You look terrible. I want you to eat well, to rest. And spend time with your family. And then, at the end of the month, this big shot will give you the part you want.
-It's too late. All the contracts have been signed, they're almost ready to shoot.
-Is it necessary?
-I'm sure it's the most generous gift today.
-He's his own boss, and very competent.
-And with prison record.
-Two terms; one in Italy, one in the United States. He's known to the Government as a top narcotics man. That could be a plus for us; he could never get immunity to testify.
-When did he call?
-This morning.
-It is Johnny. He came all the way from California to be at the wedding.
-Should I bring him in.
-No. Let the people enjoy him. You see? He is a good godson.
-When does my daughter leave with her bridegroom?
-They'll cut the cake in a few minutes...leave right after that. Your new son-in-law, do we give him something important?
-No, give him a living. But never let him know the family's business. What else, Tom?
-What is this nonsense?
-My wife was weeping before she fell asleep, outside my window I saw my caporegimes to the house, and it is midnight. So, Consigliere of mine, I think you should tell your Don what everyone knows.
-I didn't tell Mama anything. I was about to come up and wake you and tell you. Just now.
-But you needed a drink first.
-Yes.
-When I meet with Tattaglia's people; should I insist that all his drug middle-men be clean?
-Mention it, don't insist. Barzini is a man who will know that without being told.
-You mean Tattaglia.
-Barzini.
-He was the one behind Sollozzo?
-Tom, I never thought you were a bad Consigliere, I thought Santino a bad Don, rest in peace. He had a good heart but he wasn't the right man to head the family when I had my misfortune. Michael has all my confidence, as you do. For reasons which you can't know, you must have no part in what will happen.
-Will your girl friend get back to the city all right?
-What was this for?
-For bravery.
-And this?
-For killing a man.
-What miracles you do for strangers.
-I fought for my country. It was my choice.
-And now, what do you choose to do?
-I'm going to finish school.
-Have you thought about a wife? A family?
-No.
-I understand, Michael. But you must make a family, you know.
-I want children, I want a family. But I don't know when.
-Accept what's happened, Michael.
-I could accept everything that's happened; I could accept it, but that I never had a choice. From the time I was born, you had laid this all out for me.
-No, I wanted other things for you.
-You wanted me to be your son.
-Yes, but sons who would be professors, scientists, musicians...and grandchildren who could be, who knows, a Governor, a President even, nothing's impossible here in America.
-Then why have I become a man like you?
-You are like me, we refuse to be fools, to be puppets dancing on a string pulled by other men. I hoped the time for guns and killing and massacres was over. That was my misfortune. That was your misfortune. I was hunted on the streets of Corleone when I was twelve years old because of who my father was. I had no choice.
-A man has to choose what he will be. I believe that.
-I told you that it wouldn't escape his eye.
-I see you have your Luca Brasi.
-I'll need him.
-Barzini will move against you first.
-How?
-Your wife and children...you're happy with them?
-Yes.
-...a fine boy from Sicily, captured by the American Army, and sent to New Jersey as a prisoner of war...
-Nazorine, my friend, tell me what I can do.
-Now that the war is over, Enzo, this boy is being repatriated to Italy. And you see, Godfather... He...my daughter...they...
-You want him to stay in this country.
-Godfather, you understand everything.
-Tom, what we need is an Act of Congress to allow Enzo to become a citizen.
-Don Tommassino.
-Michael, why must you do this. We have been lucky so far, all these months you've been here we've kept your name a secret. It is from love for your father that I've asked you never to more than an hour from the Villa.
-Calo and Fabrizzio are with me; nothing will happen.
-You must understand that your Father's enemies have friends in Palermo.
-I know.
-Where are you going?
-Corleone.
-There is nothing there. Not anymore.
-I was told that my Grandfather was murdered on its main street; and his murderers came to kill my father there when he was twelve years old.
-Long ago. Now there is nothing: the men killed each other in family vendettas...the others escaped to America.
-That is your birthright...but Michael, use this car.
-Things went badly in Palermo?
-The younger men have no respect. Things are changing; I don't know what will happen. Michael, because of the wedding, people now know your name.
-Is that why there are more men on the walls?
-Even so, I don't think it is safe here anymore. I've made plans to move you to a villa near Siracuse. You must go right away.
-What is it?
-You tell us about America.
-How do you know I come from America?
-We hear. We were told you were a Pezzonovanta...big shot.
-Only the son of a Pezzonovanta.
-Hey America! Is she as rich as they say?
-Yes.
-Hey, beautiful girls!
-Get the car. I'll be leaving in ten minutes. Where's Calo?
-Calo is having a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Is your wife coming with you?
-You had better bring a few bottles home with you, my friend; you'll need help sleeping tonight.
-This one could seduce the devil. A body! and eyes as big and black as olives.
-I know about what you mean!
-This was a beauty. Right, Calo?
-Beautiful all over, eh?
-It's the real Thunderbolt, then.
-Why didn't Moe Green meet us at the airport?
-You look wonderful, kid; really wonderful. That doctor did some job on your face.
-Ever seen anything like that before?
-Mike! The party starting!
-Who are those girls?
-That's for you to find out.
-Give them some money and send them home.
-Mike!
-Mike, you sure about Moe selling. He never mentioned it to me and he loves the business.
-Tom, you're the Consigliere; you can talk to the Don and advise him.
-The old man wants you; Johnny's here...he's got a problem.
-Is the hospital covered?
-What about Luca? Sollozzo didn't seem worried about Luca. That worries me.
-If Luca sold out we're in real trouble.
-Has anyone been able to get in touch with him?
-No, and I've been calling all night. Maybe he's shacked up.
-Tom, you're the Consigliere, what do we do if the old man dies?
-Without your father's political contacts and personal influence, the Corleone family loses half its strength. Without your father, the other New York families might wind up supporting Sollozzo, and the Tattaglias just to make sure there isn't a long destructive war. The old days are over, this is 1946; nobody wants bloodshed anymore. If your father dies...make the deal, Sonny.
-That's easy to say; it's not your father.
-I was as good a son to him as you or Mike.
-Oh Christ Tom, I didn't mean it that way.
-We're all tired...
-Maybe Mike shouldn't get mixed up in this so directly. You know the old man doesn't want that.
-Was there a definite proposal?
-Sure, he wants us to send Mike to meet him to hear his proposition. The promise is the deal will be so good we can't refuse.
-What about that Tattaglias? What will they do about Bruno?
-Part of the deal: Bruno cancels out what they did to my father.
-We should hear what they have to say.
-No, no Consiglere. Not this time. No more meetings, no more discussions, no more Sollozzo tricks. Give them one message: I WANT SOLLOZZO. If not, it's all out war. We go to the mattresses and we put all the button men out on the street.
-The other families won't sit still for all out war.
-Then THEY hand me Sollozzo.
-Come ON Sonny, your father wouldn't want to hear this. This is not a personal thing, this is Business.
-And when they shot me father...
-Yes, even the shooting of your father was business, not personal...
-I found out about this Captain McCluskey who broke Mike's jaw. He's definitely on Sollozzo's payroll, and for big money. McCluskey's agreed to be the Turk's bodyguard. What you have to understand is that while Sollozzo is guarded like this, he's invulnerable. Nobody has ever gunned down a New York Police Captain. Never. It would be disastrous. All the five families would come after
-One of Tattaglia's people?
-Jesus, I don't know...
-Pop, they hit us and we hit them back.
-We'll let the old man take it easy for a couple of weeks. I want to get things going good before he gets better. What's the matter with you?
-You start operating, the five families will start their raids again. We're at a stalemate Sonny, your war is costing us a lot of money.
-No more stalemate Tom, we got the soldiers, we'll match them gun for gun if that's how they want it. They know me for what I am, Tom-- and they're scared of me.
-Yes. That's true, you're getting a hell of a reputation.
-Kay, we weren't expecting you. You should call...
-I've tried calling and writing. I want to reach Michael.
-What was that?
-An accident. No one was hurt.
-Will you give this to him.
-Will you give this letter to Michael.
-Sonny was hot for my deal, right? You know it's the smart thing to do, too. I want you to talk Sonny into it.
-The Don was slipping; in the old days I could never have gotten to him. Now he's dead, nothing can bring him back. Talk to Sonny, talk to the Caporegimes, Clemenza and Tessio...it's good business.
-Even Sonny won't be able to call off Luca Brasi.
-I'll worry about Luca. You take care of Sonny and the other two kids.
-I'll try...It's what the Don would want us to do.
-Mr. Corleone is Johnny's Godfather. That is very close, a very sacred religious relationship.
-Okay, but just tell him this is one favor I can't give. But he should try me again on anything else.
-He never asks a second favor when he has been refused the first. Understood?
-You smooth son of a bitch, let me lay it on the line for you, and your boss. Johnny Fontane never gets that movie. I don't care how many Dago, Guinea, wop Greaseball Goombahs come out of the woodwork!
-I'm German-Irish.
-Hello Kay. Your father's inside, doing some business. He's been asking for you.
-Sure. Anything I can do for you.
-No. I guess I'll see you Christmas. Everyone's going to be out at Long Beach, right?
-What about McCluskey?
-Mike, why are you cutting me out of the action?
-Tom, we're going to be legitimate all the way, and you're the legal man. What could be more important than that.
-Bookkeepers know everything. Rocco's men are all a little too good for the jobs they're supposed to be doing. They get a little more money than the job's worth. Lampone's a good man; he's operating perfectly.
-Not so perfectly if you noticed.
-Mike, why am I out?
-You're not a wartime Consigliere. Things may get tough with the move we're trying.
-Christ, Tom; I needed more time with him. I really needed him.
-Did he give you his politicians?
-Not all...I needed another four months and I would have had them all. I guess you've figured it all out?
-How will they come at you?
-I know now. I'll make them call me Don.
-Have you agreed on a meeting?
-I've never seen anything like it.
-Michael, what are those men doing?
-They're waiting to see my father.
-They're talking to themselves.
-They're going to talk to my father, which means they're going to ask him for something, which means they better get it right.
-Why do they bother him on a day like this?
-No. His name is Luca Brasi. You wouldn't like him.
-Who is he?
-You really want to know?
-Yes. Tell me.
-You like spaghetti?
-You know I love spaghetti.
-Once upon a time, about fifteen years ago some people wanted to take over my father's olive oil business. They had Al Capone send some men in from Chicago to kill my father, and they almost did.
-Al Capone!
-My Father sent Luca Brasi after them. He tied the two Capone men hand and foot, and stuffed small bath towels into their mouths. Then he took an ax, and chopped one man's feet off...
-Michael...
-Then the legs at the knees...
-Michael you're trying to scare me...
-Then the thighs where they joined the torso.
-Michael, I don't want to hear anymore...
-Then Luca turned to the other man...
-Michael, I love you.
-I never know when you're telling me the truth.
-I told you you wouldn't like him.
-Tom...Tom, I'd like you to meet Kay Adams.
-How do you do.
-If he's your brother, why does he have a different name?
-I didn't know your family knew Johnny Fontane.
-Sure.
-I used to come down to New York whenever he sang at the Capitol and scream my head off.
-We have something for your mother, for Sonny, we have the tie for Fredo and Tom Hagen gets the Reynolds pen...
-And what do you want for Christmas?
-What will your father say?
-As long as I tell him beforehand he won't object. He'll be hurt, but he won't object.
-What time do they expect us?
-For dinner. Unless I call and tell them we're still in New Hampshire.
-Michael.
-Michael, what are you doing?
-Shhh, you be the long distance operator. Here.
-Would you like me better if I were a nun?
-No.
-Michael?
-I'm thinking about it.
-Michael...
-Hello. Kay?
-How is your father?
-He'll be OK.
-I LOVE YOU.
-Yeah Kay, I'm here.
-Can you say it?
-Huh?
-I can't...
-Please say it.
-Look. I'll see you tonight, OK?
-Visiting hour ends at eight thirty. I'll just sit with him; I want to show respect.
-Can I go to the hospital with you?
-I don't think so. You don't want to end up on page 3 of the Daily News.
-My parents don't read the Daily News. All right, if you think I shouldn't. I can't believe the things the papers are printing. I'm sure most of it's not true.
-I don't think so either. I better go.
-When will I see you again?
-When will I see you again?
-I have to see my father and his people when we get back to the Mall.
-Oh Michael.
-We'll go to the show tomorrow night--we can change the tickets.
-Don't you want dinner first?
-No, you eat...don't wait up for me.
-Your sister wants to ask you something.
-Why are you so cold to her and Carlo? They live with us on the Mall now, but you never get close to them.
-I'm busy.
-Will you?
-Michael, it's not true. Please tell me.
-Don't ask me.
-Tell me!
-All right, this one time I'll let you ask about my affairs, one last time.
-I'm Michael Corleone--this is my father. What happened to the detectives who were guarding him?
-Oh your father just had too many visitors. It interfered with the hospital service. The police came and made them all leave just ten minutes ago. But don't worry. I look in on him.
-You cannot stay here...I'm sorry.
-You and I are going to move my father right now...to another room on another floor...Can you disconnect those tubes so we can wheel the bed out?
-Absolutely not! We have to get permission from the Doctor.
-You've read about my father in the papers. You've seen that no one's here to guard him. Now I've just gotten word that men are coming to this hospital to kill him. Believe me and help me.
-I was worried when we couldn't get in touch with you in that hick town.
-How's Mom?
-Good. She's been through it before. Me too. You were too young to know about it. You better wait outside; there're some things you shouldn't hear.
-I can help you out...
-Oh no you can't, the old man'd be sore as hell if I let you get mixed up in this.
-Jesus Christ, he's my father, Sonny.
-All right, Mikey...who do we have to hit, Clemenza or Paulie?
-What?
-Clemenza? No, I don't believe it.
-You're right, kid, Clemenza is okay. It was Paulie.
-How can you be sure?
-Is it going to be all-out war, like last time?
-Until the old man tells me different.
-Then wait, Sonny. Talk to Pop.
-Sollozzo is a dead man, I don't care what it costs. I don't care if we have to fight all the five families in New York. The Tattaglia family's going to eat dirt. I don't care if we all go down together.
-That's not how Pop would have played it.
-I know I'm not the man he was. But I'll tell you this and he'll tell you too. When it comes to real action, I can operate as good as anybody short range.
-All right, Sonny. All right.
-Christ, if I could only contact Luca.
-Where are you going?
-To the city.
-Send some bodyguards.
-Sonny...Sonny--Jesus Christ, I'm down at the hospital. I came down late. There's no one here. None of Tessio's people--no detectives, no one. The old man is completely unprotected.
-All right, get him in a different room; lock the door from the inside. I'll have some men there inside of fifteen minutes. Sit tight, and don't panic.
-Mikey, you look beautiful!
-Cut it out.
-We can't wait. No matter what Sollozzo say about a deal, he's figuring out how to kill Pop. You have to get Sollozzo now.
-Go on Mike.
-Why don't you stop living like a bum and get this place cleaned up.
-What are you, inspecting the barracks? You ready? Did Clemenza tell you be sure to drop the gun right away?
-A million times.
-O.K. How long do you think before I can come back?
-I'm glad you came, Mike. I hope we can straighten everything out. All this is terrible, it's not the way I wanted things to happen at all. It should never have happened.
-I want to settle things tonight. I want my father left alone.
-We're going to New Jersey?
-Most important...I want a sure guarantee that no more attempts will be made on my father's life.
-What is it?
-Do you pledge to guide and protect this child if he is left fatherless? Do you promise to shield him against the wickedness of the world?
-Do you renounce Satan.
-I do renounce him.
-And all his works?
-Do you wish to be baptized?
-Barzini's people chisel my territory and we do nothing about it. Pretty soon there won't be one place in Brooklyn I can hang my hat.
-Just be patient.
-I'm not asking you for help, Mike. Just take off the handcuffs.
-Let us fill up our Regimes.
-No. I want things very calm for another six months.
-Barzini wants to arrange a meeting. Says we can straighten any of our problems out.
-He talked to you?
-Mike, good to see you. Got everything you want?
-Thanks.
-The chef cooked for you special; the dancers will kick your tongue out and you credit is good! Draw chips for all these people so they can play on the house.
-Buy me out?...
-The Corleone family wants to buy me out. I buy you out. You don't buy me out.
-Your casino loses money. Maybe we can do better.
-You think I scam?
-You're unlucky.
-You goddamn dagos. I do you a favor and take Freddie in when you're having a bad time, and then you try to push me out.
-You took Freddie in because the Corleone family bankrolled your casino. You and the Corleone family are evened out. This is for business; name your price.
-The Corleone family don't have that kind of muscle anymore. The Godfather is sick. You're getting chased out of New York by Barzini and the other families, and you think you can find easier pickings here. I've talked to Barzini; I can make a deal with him and keep my hotel!
-You straightened my brother out?
-I have to go back to New York tomorrow. Think of your price.
-Yeah.
-Do you recognize my voice?
-I think so. Detective squad?
-Right. Don't say my name, just listen. Somebody shot your father outside his place fifteen minutes ago.
-Is he alive?
-I think so, but I can't get close enough. There's a lot of blood. I'll try to find out more.
-How do you do.
-You should come and have lunch with us, before you go -- Dickie?
-Sure. Any time.
-Sorry, sorry, sorry. I know, I'm late, I'm a swine.
-Did you forget where I live? It's four o'clock.
-I just woke up. I'm sorry.
-You just woke up!
-Fausto and I -- we took the boat out, we were fishing, and then it was dawn and we'd caught absolutely nothing.
-Well, we ate everything without you.
-We?
-Tom was telling me about his trip over. Made me laugh so much I got a nosebleed.
-Is that good?
-I'll do it. I make a fabulous martini.
-What? What?
-Uncanny!
-Hi Tom.
-Marge, Ripley's saying goodbye.
-I'll come down.
-Okay, we're going to Naples. There's a club, it's not a club, it's a cellar.
-It's vile.
-It'll just be for a little while. He can be... he makes me laugh.
-Okay, darling.
-You'd say if you mind?
-No, I like him.
-Marge, you like everybody.
-I don't like you.
-Now you know why Miss Sherwood always shows up for breakfast. It's not love it's the coffee machine.
-It's the one task Dickie can do on his own -- make coffee.
-Shut up.
-Oh darling -- is that for me?
-I had to promise, capital P, never to take it off -- otherwise I'd give it to you.
-Bastard! Isn't it great, Tom? I found it in Naples. I bargained for about two weeks.
-I hope it wasn't cheap.
-Dubious but special honor, Tom -- crewing Dickie's boat. Alright, bar's open.
-If you're not at my place by 7.00, Tom and I are running off together.
-He's drowning me!
-Well, she was already dead, darling, wasn't she, so I suppose --
-Who's this?
-It's Tom. Tom Ripley. We were at Princeton together.
-Okay. And did we know each other?
-Well, I knew you, so I suppose you must have known me.
-Princeton is like a fog, America's like a fog. This is Marge Sherwood. Tom -- sorry, what was it?
-Nothing. Nothing much. Passing through.
-Passing through! You're so white. Did you ever see a guy so white, Marge? Gray, actually.
-It's just an undercoat.
-Say again?
-You know, a primer.
-Who? Oh, Tom, hello, how are you? We thought you'd disappeared. We were going to send out a search party.
-I'm intruding.
-Can you mix a martini?
-Forging signatures. Telling lies. Impersonating practically anybody.
-That's three. Nobody should have more than one talent. Okay, do an impression.
-Now? Okay. Wait a minute. Talent -- The only talent my son has is for cashing his allowance.
-What? What's this?
-I like to sail, believe me, I love to sail! Instead I make boats and other people sail them.
-Stop! It's too much! You're making all the hairs on my neck stand up!
-Jazz, let's face it, it's just an insolent noise.
-I feel like he's here. Horrible. Like the old bastard is here right now! That's brilliant! How do you know him?
-I met him in New York.
-Could you ever conceive of going there, Tom, and bringing him back?
-What?
-I'm never going back!
-No, I think your mother, her illness --
-It's got nothing to do with my mother! She's had leukemia for -- ! This is what makes me boil about him! HE wants me back! -- it's got nothing to do with my mother.
-I don't know, Dickie, I'm just telling you what I --
-You like jazz!
-I love jazz.
-Bird! Ask me the name of my sailboat --
-I don't know. What's the name of your sailboat?
-Good afternoon!
-What time is it? Oh God! Do you always type your letters? That should be two Ts.
-I can't write and I can't spell. That's the privilege of a first-class education. You're upstairs at the back. I think Ermelinda made the bed up.
-This is so good of you.
-You're a dark horse, Ripley. Engaged?
-Your parents met her.
-I'm doing this wrong, aren't I?
-Could we sail to Venice?
-Sure. I love Venice.
-I have to go to Venice.
-See Venice and die, isn't that right? Or is it Rome? You do something and die, don't you? Okay, Venice is on the list.
-And Rome.
-You're breaking my ribs!
-What?
-I could fuck this icebox I love it so much. What were you actually doing in New York?
-I played piano in a few places.
-That's one job, you told me a lot of jobs.
-A few places -- that's a few jobs. Anyway, I don't want to think about New York.
-The mysterious Mr Ripley. Marge and I spend hours speculating. Cold beer. Thank you Dad.
-I love the fact you brought Shakespeare with you and no clothes. Ermelinda says you wash the same shirt out every night. Is that true?
-No! I've got more than one shirt!
-She can do that stuff for you. Anyway, just wear some of my things, wear anything you want, most of it's ancient.
-Without the glasses you're not even ugly. I don't need them because I never read. How do I look.
-I know. I write like a child.
-Pretty vile. See this: The S and the T, do you see? -- fine, vulnerable -- that's pain, that's secret pain.
-It must be a deep secret, cause I don't know about it.
-Your handwriting -- nothing more naked. See -- nothing's quite touching the line -- that's vanity.
-Do you have any brothers?
-No, no brothers, no sisters.
-Means we never shared a bath. I'm cold. Can I get in?
-No!
-I didn't mean with you in it.
-What does he say?
-He's getting impatient. He wants me to reassure him you'll be home by Thanksgiving.
-You've got to get a new jacket. Really. You must be sick of the same clothes. I'm sick of seeing you in them.
-I can't. I can't keep spending your father's money.
-Where do we find a carozza for the Forum, or can we hire any of them -- ?
-Relax.
-It's just there's so much to do in a single day.
-Relax. The most important question is where to eat. I hope Freddie made a reservation.
-Freddie?
-Look, Tom, we've got to go to a club and meet some friends of Freddie's. The best thing is -- if you want to be a tourist -- grab a cab and we can meet up at the railway station.
-What club?
-Freddie's arranged it with some of the skiing crowd. Come if you want but I thought you wanted to see the Forum...?
-Shoes too?
-You said I could pick out a jacket and I just... Sorry.
-Get undressed in your own room, would you?
-I thought you'd missed the train.
-Freddie drove me back in his car.
-Is Freddie here?
-He's downstairs.
-What's the fight about? That's her fiancee, isn't it? Are they blaming him?
-She was pregnant. Did you know that? Do you know what that means in a place like this?
-I'm prepared to take the blame.
-What are you talking about?
-You've been so good to me. You're the brother I never had. I'm the brother you never had.
-She came to me for help, she needed money, and I didn't help her. I didn't help her. Now she's dead and it's my fault.
-...The thousand dollars, of course, was only due in the event that you succeeded in bringing Dickie home. Naturally, I hope the trip has afforded you some pleasure despite the failure of its main objective you need no longer consider yourself obligated to us in any way...
-You can't blame him. You could hardly expect this to go on forever.
-I thought you might write again. Now that we're brothers...
-I can't, how can I, in all decency? We've had a good run, haven't we?
-What about Venice? Can we stick to that plan at least?
-To Mongibello and the happiest days of my life.
-To Mongi. You're cheerful tonight.
-I'm suddenly quite happy to be going back.
-That's good.
-I've got plans!
-Ripley's plans.
-Esatto. I'm always planning.
-Did I know you at Princeton, Tom? I didn't, did I?
-Why are you asking all of a sudden?
-No reason. Because you're leaving, I guess. I don't think you were there, were you?
-Why?
-I mean it as a compliment. You've got such great taste, I don't know. Most of the thugs at Princeton had tasted everything and had no taste. Used to say, the cream of America: rich and thick. Freddie's the perfect example.
-Then I'll take it as a compliment.
-I knew it! I had a bet with Marge!
-Ha.
-Do you even like jazz -- or was that something for my benefit?
-I'm thinking of giving up the sax, what do you think about drums?
-What?
-I wanted to tell you my plan.
-So tell me.
-I thought I might come back. In the New Year. Under my own steam.
-Really? To Italy?
-Of course. Let's say, for argument's sake, you were here -- perhaps we could split the rent on a house -- I'll get a job -- or, better still, I could get a place in Rome and when we're there we could be there and if we're here we could be here --
-Oh God, I don't think so.
-You see, particularly with the Marge problem, you can just blame me.
-Marge and I are getting married.
-How?
-How?
-Yesterday you're ogling girls on the terrace, today you're getting married. It's absurd.
-I love Marge.
-You love me and you're not marrying me.
-Tom, I don't love you.
-No, no, it's not a threat, I've explained all of that.
-What?
-You can be a leech -- you know this -- and it's boring. You can be quite boring.
-The funny thing -- I'm not pretending to be somebody else and you are. I'm absolutely honest with you. I've told you my feelings. But you, first of all I know there's something -- that evening when we played chess, for instance, it was obvious --
-What evening?
-Frederico!
-This is Tom Ripley. Freddie Miles.
-Dick -- you've got to hear this!
-Come on, Frederico, do you really have to go back? At least stick around for the Festival of the Madonna.
-Do you think you can steer this thing?
-Sure.
-Just point her at Capri and avoid the rocks.
-What are you doing?
-Marge-maintenance.
-Hello?
-Dickie?
-Who is it?
-Hello, Freddie, it's Tom, Tom Ripley.
-Oh hello, where's Dickie? How are you?
-Yes, I'm good, thank you. Dickies at dinner. He's at Otello's. Do you know it?
-I don't think he's at dinner at 6.30pm. If you said he was still at lunch I'd believe you. Incredible. The guy has disappeared off the face of the earth.
-I guess.
-The landlady -- as far as I could tell, the landlady said he was here right now.
-He's gone to dinner! Search the place. I can't think why you would imagine Dickie would hide from you.
-Because he's been hiding from me -- what happened at Christmas?
-What about Christmas?
-Of course, he's been very involved in his music, hasn't he? I think his theory is, you know, you have to go into a cocoon before you can become a butterfly.
-Which is horseshit. Have you heard him play that thing? He can't.
-How did you find him? It's such an out of the way apartment. Can I fix you a drink?
-No. No, I'm staying here for a few days, in Rome. That's a new piano, so you prob --
-You should watch that!
-In fact the only thing which looks like Dickie is you.
-Hardly.
-Freddie, do you have something to say?
-What? I think I'm saying it. Something's going on. He's either converted to Christianity -- or to something else.
-I suggest you ask Dickie that yourself. Otello's is on delle Croce, just off the Corso.
-Most enjoyable. Herbert Greenleaf.
-Tom Ripley. Thank you, sir.
-Could you ever conceive of going to Italy, Tom, persuade my son to come home? I'd pay you. I'd pay you 1000 dollars.
-I've always wanted to go to Europe, sir, but...
-Mr Greenleaf.
-Tom. How are you? You look well.
-I'm well, thank you.
-Far cry from New York.
-Yes it is.
-Yes. What's the detective hoping to find in San Remo?
-He's being thorough, that's all. I'm learning about my son, Tom, now he's missing. I'm learning a great deal about him. I hope you can fill in some more blanks for me. Marge has been good enough to do that, about Mongibello.
-No, Marge doesn't know the half of it.
-I think it might hurt her to know.
-And his passport photo? Did you hear? To scratch out your own face like that -- can you imagine -- the frame of mind you'd have to be in? I've thought about going to the police but I can't face it. I can't face anything anymore.
-I feel guilty. I feel like I pushed him away. I spoke and he heard you.
-Tom.
-Hello, sir. Marge, you should have waited, didn't Peter tell you I'd come by and pick you up?
-Marge has been telling us about the rings.
-You know I feel ridiculous I didn't mention them yesterday -- I clean forgot -- ridiculous.
-I'm going to take Marge for a little walk, Tom. Mr MacCarron wants to talk with you.
-We could go down to the bar -- no need for you to --
-Pretty good. Sticking with hot water.
-Where's Mr MacCarron?
-This theory, the letter he left for you, the Police think that's a clear indication he was planning on doing something... to himself.
-I just don't believe that!
-You don't want to, dear. I'd like to talk to Tom alone -- perhaps this afternoon? Would you mind? Marge, what a man may say to his sweetheart and what he'll admit to another fellow --
-Such as?
-I don't know, I don't know, I just know it.
-Thanks so much for inviting me tonight.
-Can you bear it? We hear you're a friend of Freddie's -- he has I hate Opera tattooed on his chest.
-There's room for a whole libretto on Freddie's chest.
-I was sure we'd met, weren't you, Ted? This is Herbert Greenleaf's boy.
-Thanks, yes, I think we did.
-Is Mr Greenleaf here?
-I could probably see my bedroom from here. I can see my house. When you see where you live from a distance it's like a dream, isn't it?
-I don't care for B.S. I don't care to hear it. I don't care to speak it.
-Okay.
-Mr Greenleaf appreciates your loyalty. He really does. Marge, she's got a hundred theories, but there are a few things she doesn't know. We hope she never knows.
-I hope she never knows.
-Pleasure to meet you, Dickie's made a fine catch. I know Emily thinks so.
-You were right about the telephones. There are no lines, there's some problem.
-Hello Tom. You're off? What are your plans?
-I never said that!
-Which is ridiculous. Boats are female, everyone knows you can't call a boat after a man.
-Dickie, you can't even drive a car! No, what we need urgently is an icebox. What do you think, Tom? Agree with me and I'll be your friend for life.
-That ring's so great. The green one.
-Tom, I love you! See! I bought it for him, for his birthday.
-I have to find a birthday present for Frances. Perhaps you can help me?
-Frances?
-You really should go in, it's marvelous.
-Are you okay?
-The thing with Dickie -- it's like the sun shines on you and it's glorious, then he forgets you and it's very very cold.
-So I'm learning.
-Tell me, why is it when men play they always play at killing each other...? I'm sorry about Cortina by the way.
-What about Cortina?
-Dickie!
-I'll go and see what's the matter.
-Hello Marge.
-Tom, you startled me! You're back.
-How are you? Sorry. Is your book going well?
-Yes -- I'm on a good streak, thanks.
-I was just looking at you -- so quiet.
-Where's Dickie?
-I think he's planning on staying in Rome for a few days.
-Ha. Did he say why?
-I don't know. I don't understand Dickie, Marge, so your guess is as good as mine.
-What does that mean?
-Well, one day I'm invited skiing, the next day I'm not, one day we're all one family, the next day he wants to be alone. You tell me.
-Is that what he said -- he wanted to be alone?
-Thanks. He knows I love this, although why it couldn't have waited...
-Errand number one -- deliver Marge's perfume. Errand number two, pack some clothes and his precious saxophone.
-How long's he staying for?
-He hates being confronted.
-Oh my God. Tom.
-Marge, how are you? What are you doing in Rome?
-Is he here? Are you with Dickie?
-Is he really not here?
-Marge, you know Dickie has I hate Opera tattooed on his chest.
-Dickie was at the Opera last night.
-I don't believe it. Wild horses wouldn't drag Dickie to --
-He was there with someone. So I suppose she must have dragged him -- that's not fair. I'm going back to Mongi. I think Dickie's coming home. I'm going to go home.
-Did he kill Freddie?
-Marge, when did you get here?
-Tell me the truth. Did he kill Freddie?
-I'd swear he didn't. Of course he didn't.
-I tried again, waiting here, watching for him. Instead it's you. Whenever I look for Dickie I find you. What happened to your face?
-Dickie did it.
-Dickie?
-My face! There was an argument. I said some things I shouldn't have. About you. About the appalling way he's treating you, all of us. And the next thing I know he's launched himself at me. Are you getting on?
-What?
-Where does Dickie live?
-We passed it a few blocks back, where the police were. The Palazzo Gioia. They don't even know I'm in Rome and I'm not going to incriminate Dickie --
-Perhaps I shouldn't go either.
-Hello Peter, so good to see you.
-Hello Marge!
-I was looking forward to seeing him.
-Dickie hasn't killed himself. I'm sure of that. There's a private detective on the case now -- a Mr MacCarron -- Dickie's father's employing him.
-That's a terrific idea.
-Look at me what?
-Very.
-Did Dickie's Dad go?
-He's having an early night.
-Tom?
-Marge, I'm in the bath. Won't be long.
-I found Dickie's rings.
-What?
-You've got Dickie's rings.
-Dickie promised me he would never take off this ring.
-Let me put on some clothes and then we can talk about this.
-I have to tell Mr Greenleaf. I have to tell Mr Greenleaf. I have to tell Mr Greenleaf.
-Marge, calm down, you're being hysterical.
-He promised me. I swear I'll never take off this ring until the day --
-Marge? Where are you going?
-I was looking for a needle and thread. I wasn't snooping. I was looking for a needle and thread to mend my bra.
-Today, for the first time, I've even wondered whether he might have killed Freddie. He would get so crazy if anybody contradicted him -- well, you know that. Marge. I loved you -- you might as well know -- I loved you, and because he knew I loved you, he let you think I loved him. Didn't you see, couldn't you see? I don't
-I told you. He gave them to me.
-Why? When?
-I feel as if you haven't heard anything I've been saying to you.
-I don't believe you.
-It's all true.
-But I hope that note goes to New York in your purse, for a rainy day.
-What are you going to do now, Tom?
-I don't know. Peter has a concert in Athens next month -- and he's asked if I want to go along, help out. He says goodbye by the way -- he's in rehearsal, otherwise --
-Why do I think there's never been a Ripley rainy day?
-What?
-I know it was you -- I know it was you, Tom. I know it was you. I know you killed Dickie. I know it was you.
-Dickie? Do you know Dickie?
-You were at the Opera? Well, that explains -- yes I was there. I was there with Dickie.
-I told you! I knew it!
-Marge, I don't know you, so I have no right, but Dickie loves you. He's -- I think you'll find he's coming home to you.
-How would you know that?
-Peter Smith-Kingsley. I've heard about you, of course -- from Marge, and Dickie.
-Look there's Meredith thingy -- who's that, Marge? -- They're in textiles... Meredith -- God, how awful, I've spent Christmas in her house...!
-No, we're meeting another friend. Tom Ripley.
-We think he's had a change of heart. So we should be celebrating.
-I hope so.
-So you found Peter...
-Where's Dickie's father?
-Is this you?
-No, it's Tom's. Splendid, eh?
-This is spectacular.
-That's why Tom wanted you to stay. It's better than squeezing into my room, and I know how you hate hotels.
-What's funny?
-What's your secret?
-Excuse me?
-I'm Meredith, by the way. Meredith Randall.
-Dickie, Dickie Greenleaf. Hello.
-You're not the Shipping Greenleaf's?
-Trying not to be. Trying to jump ship.
-So now, did they put your suitcase in the wrong pile? It's just -- upstairs -- weren't you under the R stand? I thought I saw you there.
-My father wants me in New York. He builds boats. I'd rather sail them. I travel under my mother's name.
-Which is?
-Emily. Just kidding.
-The funny thing is, I'm not Randall either. I'm Logue.
-As in the...?
-As in the Textile Logues. Trying to shrug off the dress. I travel under my mother's name, too.
-Randall.
-But you're going skiing with us Yankees, aren't you?
-What?
-At Christmas. To Cortina with Freddie Miles and --
-How did you know that?
-Everybody knows Freddie Miles.
-Is Freddie in Rome?
-Now? I don't think so. But I've met him, of course, and we've chatted and I know about you and Marge and Mongi and what an unreliable rat you are. Freddie said you were a rat and I thought to myself now I know why he travels under R.
-I've left Marge, Meredith. And Mongi. So the rat's here now, in Rome.
-Sorry, I wouldn't have made a joke if --
-The truth is if you've had money your entire life, even if you despise it, which we do -- agreed? -- you're only truly comfortable around other people who have it and despise it.
-I know.
-Show me the other one again. I like them both.
-Let's go.
-I thought you were enjoying yourself?
-Let's take a Carozza and look at the moon.
-C'mon, I need to talk to you. Just the two of us.
-Don't worry. Really. Don't worry.
-You're such a pal to understand. It's as if Marge is here now -- I look at you and I see her face -- and I can't, whatever I'm feeling towards you -- I just can't...
-No, I absolutely understand. Of course.
-Otherwise you'd be fighting me off.
-Will you meet me tomorrow? Just to say goodbye in the daylight, properly? So it's not just this, it's too... you should always save pain for daylight...
-Oh Meredith, I'm sorry. Of course I'll meet you. Let's have coffee in the morning at Dinelli's.
-I don't -- is that by the Spanish Steps?
-Dickie, my God!
-Hello Meredith.
-I was looking at you, your clothes, I wouldn't have known you...
-Well, you've spotted me and so you get the reward.
-What?
-Just kidding. Are you alone?
-Of course. Aunt Joan.
-And co. A lot of co. Oh, God, I've thought about you so much.
-When I thought about you I was mostly hating you. Where've you been hiding?
-I haven't been hiding. I've been in Police custody. They've been trying to flush out Freddie's killer.
-You're kidding.
-They're letting me have this vacation. Which is why the get-up. Which is why you haven't heard from me.
-You know, the whole world thinks you killed Freddie? It's terrible.
-So -- are you travelling under R?
-You know what -- I am.
-Dickie, are you with Peter Smith- Kingsley? I bet you are. My aunt thought she saw him.
-Ho assunto io la guida delle indagini in seguito alla negativa valutazione delle disdicevoli circostanze verificatesi con il mio predecessore Roverini che come e noto non e riuscito a impedire il verificarsi della scomparsa del signor Greenleaf, il quale era l'unica persona al momento passibile di incriminazione del reato di omicidio del signor Miles.
-He's taken over the case because... they're annoyed the previous chap let Dickie... disappear when he was the only, he was the only suspect in Freddie's murder.
-Dove e stato il signor Ripley da allora?
-All'aperto? Col freddo che ha fatto?
-He thinks it's very cold to be sleeping outside.
-Il signor Ripley ha sviluppate tendenze omosessuali?
-Non e questo il luogo per le vostre conversazioni private!
-A ragione. A ragione.
-Questa lettera e stata trovata nell'abitazione del signor Richard Greenleaf a Roma.
-Ditto.
-Yes, what happened? I heard you were desperate to come. I was looking forward to rowing you around.
-I am. I really am. And I've been travelling. I just can't seem to get that far north.
-Well hurry, before we sink. Should I give you my telephone number in Venice?
-Will we see you later?
-I can't later.
-And tomorrow?
-Tomorrow's possible. Do you know Dinelli's? Piazza di Spagna?
-I know the Piazza di Spagna. What time?
-Ten thirty?
-We'll be there.
-Sorry, sorry. Had to renew my papers. Italian bureaucracy -- never one stamp when they can make you line up for three. Have you been waiting long?
-Not at all. Morning Tom.
-My God.
-But the point is Dickie -- well we know this -- Dickie loves Marge and he misses her and apparently he's come to his senses...
-Peter, I'm really sorry to put you through this. I just couldn't face going to the police by myself when my Italian's so rotten.
-Don't be daft. It's fine. I'm delighted you finally made it to Venice. I'm delighted, contrary to rumour, you're still in one piece?
-What rumour?
-Welcome to Venice. This place reeks, doesn't it? Can you smell it? Ugh. Sorry. Not the best way to spend your first day.
-It's okay.
-Anyway I've got to the bottom of the delay. Finally. We're waiting for someone from Rome.
-What do you mean? They're sending someone from Rome?
-That's good, isn't it?
-No, but I thought that didn't happen in Italy, that each region was completely separate! I was sure that was the --
-You've seen the papers, you know what a big deal it's been here. American tourist murdered --
-In Rome, about three weeks ago. I knew that one.
-I've been backpacking.
-No.
-No. By the way, officially there are no Italian homosexuals. Makes Leonardo, Michelangelo very inconvenient.
-Tell him I have a fiancée, Dickie has a fiancée and Freddie Miles probably had a string of them.
-What did he say?
-He wants to know if you killed Freddie Miles and then killed Dickie Greenleaf?
-No I did not. I did not kill Freddie Miles and then kill Dickie Greenleaf. Is he accusing me? Ask him if he's accusing me!
-He's already angry, I don't think --
-Can you imagine, if Dickie did kill Freddie, what must that be like? To wake up every morning, how can you? Just wake up and be a person, drink a coffee...?
-Whatever you do, however terrible, however hurtful -- it all makes sense, doesn't it? Inside your head. You never meet anybody who thinks they're a bad person or that they're cruel.
-But you're still tormented, you must be, you've killed somebody...
-Don't you put the past in a room, in the cellar, and lock the door and just never go in there? Because that's what I do.
-Probably. In my case it's probably a whole building.
-I keep wanting to do that -- fling open the door -- let the light in, clean everything out. If I could get a huge eraser and rub everything out... starting with myself... the thing is, Peter, if...
-I'm sorry. I was asleep. I must have fallen asleep.
-Not guilty.
-Are you okay?
-I'm fine.
-Do you want me to stick around?
-It's okay.
-Tom, are you okay?
-You try. You try talking to her.
-Tom. Tom! Tell me, what's going on?
-Ask me what I want to change about this moment.
-What do you want to change about this moment?
-Hello. What are you up to?
-All kinds of things. Making plans.
-Plans -- good, plans for tonight or plans for the future?
-I don't know. Both. My plan right now is to go up on deck, look at the sunset. Come with me.
-You go. I don't want to get dressed yet. Come back though. Come back. You know, you look so relaxed, like a completely different person.
-How was it?
-Good. But I think we should stay in here for the rest of the trip.
-Was that Meredith?
-Was who Meredith?
-Meredith Logue. You were kissing somebody. Looked like Meredith.
-Hardly kissing. Kissing off.
-Didn't look that way -- you know -- from a distance.
-I lied. To her. She thought she'd seen you.
-Why lie?
-Dickie and Peter, that's just too good gossip, isn't it?
-Or Tom and Peter even.
-Well that would be even better gossip.
-Really, why? Sorry, I'm completely lost.
-I know. I'm lost, too. I'm going to be stuck in the basement, aren't I, that's my, that's my -- terrible and alone and dark -- and I've lied about who I am, and where I am, and so nobody can ever find me.
-What do you mean lied about who you are?
-I suppose I always thought -- better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody.
-What are you talking about -- you're not a nobody! That's the last thing you are.
-Peter, I... I...
-And don't forget. I have the key.
-Good things about Tom Ripley? Could take some time!... Tom is talented. Tom is tender... Tom is beautiful...
-You're such a liar...
-Dickie Greenleaf?
-Yes?
-It's a terrible shock, eh? What time did Signor Miles leave yesterday?
-I can't be absolutely sure -- 8? 9? We'd both taken on far too many drinks -- but it was dark, it was certainly dark when I walked him down to his car.
-So Signor Miles drove away and you did what?
-Senta. We have to ask you to stay in Rome.
-Yes, if it's going to help, certainly.
-So, the Doctor, he has to make the -- -- come se dice?
-Postmortem?
-Yes, exactly, but his first, his first conclusion was that Signor Miles was killed not later than seven o'clock yesterday evening.
-Well, he certainly wasn't dead when he drove off in his car.
-Can we go up? Do you mind?
-Of course. What happened to your face?
-The telephone, the press, I've been, I'm feeling hounded -- do you think you could not give out my address?
-Never. We've had many requests and, of course, we say no -- even to your fiancée.
-I really don't want to see anybody.
-Even your fiancée...?
-Even her.
-What about Thomas Ripley?
-Yes, sure, we did go to San Remo. That was months ago.
-November, I thought.
-Was it? Did you speak to Tom?
-November 7th is my information.
-I don't remember the exact date.
-And when did you last see Signor Ripley?
-A few days ago.
-Does he stay with you here?
-No!
-No. Here is a pattern. Two days ago Freddie Miles is dead -- he leaves your apartment and is murdered. Yesterday a little boat is found in San Remo full of rocks, and the owner tells the Police it was stolen on November 7th. We look at hotel records and we see oh! Dickie Greenleaf is staying in San Remo and then our boatman
-It's not a pattern, it's a coincidence. There must be fifty hotels in San Remo, there must have been a hundred people renting a boat on that day.
-31 people.
-That is Miss Sherwood now. Marge Sherwood.
-Thank you.
-May I ask... why would you speak to your friend and not your fiancée?
-I think I just said. Ripley was handling some business for me, nor does Mr Ripley want to marry me. Nor did he ask me every day if I would marry him. And when.
-Do you have a photograph of Signor Ripley?
-I'm not in the habit of carrying around photographs of my male friends.
-Now I think I have upset you. My English perhaps is coarse.
-It is a little coarse, yes.
-Sorry. No one has seen Signor Ripley since San --
-I have!
-You have, yes.
-No, I have and so has Miss Sherwood, ask her! And if I could remember which hotel he was staying at -- the Goldoni! -- Tom was staying at the Goldoni.
-Good. The Goldoni. Yes -- you're right. A coincidence. I look forward to our next meeting when I will be more careful with my English and persuade you to play me your saxophone. Alto.
-Absolutely.
-I have a witness who thinks they saw two men getting into Mr Miles' car. She wants to identify you in a -- confronto -- line-up. Tomorrow then?
-You got a .44 Magnum?
-That's an expensive gun.
-Some of these guns are like toys, but a Smith and Wesson, man, you can hit somebody over the head with it and it will still come back dead on. Nothing beats quality. You interested in an automatic?
-I want a .32. Revolver. And a palm gun. That .22 there.
-How much for everything.
-The .32's $150 -- and you're really getting a good deal now -- and all together it comes to, ah, seven eighty- five for four pieces and a holster. Hell, I'll give you the holster, we'll make it seventy-five and you've got a deal -- a good one.
-How much to get a permit to carry?
-Well, you're talking big money now. I'd say at least five grand, maybe more, and it would take a while to check it out. The way things are going now $5.000 is probably low. You see, I try not to fool with the small-time crap. Too risky, too little bread. Say 6 G's, but if I get the permit it'll be as solid as
-Nah, this'll be fine.
-You can't carry in a cab even with a permit -- so why bother?
-Is there a firing range around?
-You in Nam? Can't help but notice your jacket?
-Huh?
-Yeah. I was all around. One hospital, then the next.
-It's hell out there all right. A real shit-eatin' war. I'll say this, though: It's bringing a lot of fantastic guns. The market's flooded. Colt automatics are all over.
-You like ball games?
-Huh?
-I can get you front and center. What do you like? I can get you Mets, Knicks, Rangers? Hell, I can get you the Mayor's box.
-Is that so? But what do you think of Charles Palantine?
-Who mam?
-Charles Palantine. The man you want to volunteer to help elect president.
-Oh, I think he's a wonderful man. Make a great, great President.
-You want to canvass?
-Well, that's not exactly what the Senator has proposed. You might not want to canvass, but there is plenty more other work we need done: Office work, filing, poster hanging.
-I'm a good worker, Betsy mam, a real good worker.
-If you talk to Tom, he'll assign you to something.
-If you don't mind, mam, I'd rather work for you.
-Well, we're all working tonight.
-Well, Betsy mam, I drive a taxi at night.
-Well, then, what is it you exactly want to do?
-Why?
-I don't know...
-It's just to the corner, mam. In broad daytime. Nothing can happen. I'll be there to protect you.
-All right. All right. I'm taking a break at four o'clock. If you're here then we'll go to the corner and have some coffee and pie.
-Oh, I appreciate that, Betsy mam. I'll be here at four o'clock exactly. And... ah... Betsy...
-Yes?
-My name is Travis.
-We've signed up 15,000 Palantine volunteers in New York so far. The organizational problems are becoming just staggering.
-Travis, I never ever met anybody like you before.
-I can believe that.
-Where do you live?
-Oh, uptown. You know. Some joint. It ain't much.
-So why did you decide to drive a taxi at night?
-I had a regular job for a while, days. You know, doin' this, doin' that. But I didn't have anything to do at night. I got kinda lonely, you know, just wandering around. So I decided to works nights. It ain't good to be alone, you know.
-After this job, I'm looking forward to being alone for a while.
-Yeah, well... In a cab you get to meet people. You meet lotsa people. It's good for you.
-What kind of people?
-Just people people, you know. Just people. Had a dead man once.
-Really?
-He'd been shot. I didn't know that. He just crawled into the back seat, said "West 45th Street" and conked out.
-What did you do?
-I shut the meter off, for one thing. I knew I wasn't going to get paid. Then I dropped him off at the cop shop. They took him.
-That's really something.
-Oh, you see lots of freaky stuff in a cab. Especially when the moon's out.
-The moon?
-Com'on, Travis. It's not that bad. I take lots of taxis.
-I know. I could have picked you up.
-Huh?
-Late one night. About three. At the plaza.
-Three in the morning? I don't think so. I have to go to bed early. I work days. It must have been somebody else.
-You're right! Now I remember! It was after the Western regional planners were in town and the meeting went late. The next day I was completely bushed. It was unbelievable.
-If it wasn't for a drunk I would have picked you up. He wanted to go to the DMZ.
-The DMZ?
-South Bronx. The worst. I tried to ditch him, but he was already in the cab, so I had to take him. That's the law. Otherwise I would have picked you up.
-That would have been quite a coincidence.
-You'd be surprised how often you see the same people, get the same fare. People have patterns. They do more or less the same things every day. I can tell.
-Well, I don't go to the Plaza every night.
-I didn't mean you. But just ordinary people. A guy I know -- Dough-Boy -- met his wife that way. They got to talking. She said she usually caught the bus so he started picking her up at the bus stop, taking her home with the flag up.
-That's very romantic. Some of your fares must be interesting. See any stars, politicians, deliver any babies yet?
-Well, no... not really... had some famous people in the cab. I got this guy who makes lasers. Not regular lasers, not the big kind. Little lasers, pocket sized, small enough to clip your belt like a transistor radio, like a gun, you know. Like a ray gun. Zap.
-What hours do you work?
-I work a single, which means there's no replacement -- no second man on the cab. Six to six, sometimes eight. Seventy-two hours a week.
-You mean you work seventy-two hours a week.
-Sometimes 76 or 80. Sometimes I squeeze a few more hours in the morning. Eighty miles a day, a hundred miles a night.
-You must be rich.
-It keeps ya busy.
-You know what you remind me of?
-What?
-That song by Kris Kristofferson, where it's said "Like a pusher, party truth, partly fiction, a walking contradiction".
-I'm no pusher, Betsy. Honest. I never have pushed.
-I didn't mean that, Travis. Just the part about the contradiction.
-Oh. Who was that again?
-The singer?
-Yeah. Yes. I don't follow music too much.
-You didn't have to spend your money -- ?
-Travis, you haven't even played the record?
-Yeah, well my stereo player is broke. But I'm sure the record is OK.
-Your stereo broke? God, I could hardly stand that. I live on music.
-I don't follow music much. I'd like to though. Honest.
-So you haven't heard this record yet?
-What are you doing?
-I bought a couple of tickets.
-But this is a porno movie.
-Damn.
-What's wrong?
-Where are you going?
-I'm leaving.
-These are not the kind of movies I go to.
-Well, I don't follow movies too much...
-This is sort of high class...
-I mean porno movies.
-Well... mostly...
-My God!
-...there's plenty of movies around here. I haven't seen any of them, but I'm sure they're good.
-No, Travis. You're a sweet guy and all that, but I think this is it. I'm going home.
-You mean you don't want to go to a movie? There's plenty of movies around here.
-No, I don't feel so good. We're just two very different kinds of people, that's all.
-Huh?
-It's very simple. You go your way, I'll go mine. Thanks anyway, Travis.
-But... Betsy...
-What about the record?
-Keep it.
-Hello, Travis.
-I see where Palantine got the nomination.
-Yes. It won't be long now. Seventeen days.
-How are you, Travis? I read about you in the papers.
-No, no, please. This fare's on me. Please.
-Travis?
-Yeah.
-Maybe I'll see you again sometime, huh?
-Tom, come here a moment. I think this canvas report is about ready to go out. Check it out with Andy, and if he okays if, have a copy made for the campaign headquarters in every county. And don't forget to add the new photo releases.
-The senator's white paper is almost ready, Bets. Should we wait for that?
-Andy usually just sends those to the national media. The local press doesn't know what to do with a position paper until UPI and AP tell them anyway.
-I think we should try to get maximum coverage for this new mandatory welfare program. Push the issues.
-First push the man, then the issue. Senator Palantine is first of all a dynamic man, an intelligent, interesting, fascinating man.
-You forgot "sexy".
-No, I didn't forget "sexy".
-Just didn't get around to it, huh?
-Oh, Tom, please.
-Well, for Christsakes, you sound like you're selling... I don't know what... cars... not issues.
-Have you ever wondered why CBS News has the highest ratings?
-More people watch it.
-Alright, forget it if you're not going to be serious,
-No, c'mon, I'm listening. I was just...
-Just what?
-Maybe if you'd try thinking once in a while, you'd get somewhere.
-With who?
-Well, if Cronkite's so great, why don't we run him instead?
-That's the last. The finish. Period. Some people can learn. Some people can't. And you wonder why we never get serious --
-Sure we could run him. You realize he's already head of his block association.
-Have you been noticing anything strange?
-No, why?
-Why's that taxi driver across the street been staring at us?
-What taxi driver?
-That taxi driver. The one that's been sitting here.
-How long has he been there?
-Try holding the match like this.
-This is gotta be a game, right?
-This I gotta see.
-Ouch!
-Oh, are you all right?
-I'm great. Always set my fingers on fire. If you want to see another trick. I do this thing with my nose.
-No. I just wanted to see if you could light it that way. The guy at the newsstand can.
-Ah, yes, the guy at the newsstand, Mr. Asbestos...
-He happens to be missing fingers. I first noticed when --
-Is he Italian?
-No, why?
-You sure he's not Italian?
-He's Black, OK?
-Well, If he had been Italian, they could have been shot off. Sometimes the mob does that to teach guys a lesson, If they blow a job or something.
-As I said, he isn't Italian. Besides, I thought they just killed them.
-Don't be naive. They can't kill everybody. They have different punishments for different things. Like, if they kill a stool pigeon, they leave a canary on the body. It's symbolic.
-Why don't they leave a pigeon instead of a canary?
-I don't know. Maybe they don't leave a canary. Don't be technical. What I'm saying is if this newsstand guy's Italian and his fingers are gone, maybe he's a thief.
-First, he's not Italian. Second he's not a thief. I noticed the fingers when he was getting my change -- the right change. Two of his fingers are missing. Just stubs. Like they were blown away. I was putting my change in my purse when I saw him get out a cigarette. I couldn't help watching. I was dying to see how he'd light
-With the other hand, right?
-No, stupid. With the stubs. That's the whole point.
-I know that guy. His hand looks like a paw. An old Black guy, the newsstand at --
-No, this is young -- well, I'm never sure how old Black people are -- but, anyway, he isn't old. That's for sure.
-Betsy, come over here a moment.
-What is it? I'm busy.
-No, I don't think so. That's someone else.
-What is your name? My name is Travis.
-Awh, come off it, Pal.
-No, I'm serious, really...
-Ya want me to call da boss? Huh? That what you want?
-No, no, it's alright. I'll have a big Coca-Cola -- without ice -- and a large buttered popcorn, and... ...some of them chocolate covered malted milk balls... and ju-jukes, a box. They last.
-We don't have ju-jukes. We don't have Coca-Cola. We only got Royal Crown Cola.
-That's fine.
-First she did her make-up. You know, I hate it when they do that. I mean she does the whole works, the mascara, the eye-shadow, the lipstick, the rouge...
-Not rouge. Blush-On, they call it.
-Yeah, that's Blush-On. My wife uses it,
-Well, whatever the fuck it is, she used it. And then the spray perfume. You know, the real sweat kind -- and, on top of that, get this, right when we're crossing the Tri-boro bridge -- she changes her pantyhose!
-Yeah.
-Could you see anything?
-Well, she was trying to keep her skirt down, sort of, you know. But it was pretty obvious what she was doing. I mean, Christ, it was rush hour and the traffic's practically standing still.
-What did you do?
-Threw on the emergency, jumped the seat and fucked her brains out -- What do you think! What do I have to do? Draw you a picture?
-Yeah.
-Sure. What do you think? She wanted to get out of the cab. I said "Look, you're in the middle of the fucking bridge..."
-You said that?
-Well, I said, "Lady, please, we're on a bridge..."
-She stayed in the cab, what's she gonna do? But she stiffed me. A real skunk.
-Yeah. We went to Harvard together.
-We call him Dough-Boy cause he likes the dollars. He'll chase a buck straight into Jersey.
-You run all over town, don't you, Travis?
-Well, you ever need one, I know a feller that kin getcha a real nice deal. Lotsa shit around.
-Truck drivers bring up Harlem Specials that blow up in your hand. But this guy don't deal no shit. Just quality. If you ever need anything, I can put you in touch.
-For a fee.
-For a fee.
-I never use mine. But it's a good thing to have. Just as a threat.
-Well, if there's this many hackies inside, there must be lots of fares outside. And I'm gonna hustle 'em.
-What ya gonna do with all that money, Dough-Boy?
-...he called up the Dispatcher last night. Charlie McCall, our dispatcher...
-One-Ball McCall?
-Fuckin' One-Ball.
-Some fleet driver for Bell just got cut up. Just heard it on the radio.
-Stick up?
-No, just some crazy fucker. Cut half his ear off.
-Where.
-Huh?
-I mean, you handle some pretty rough traffic, huh?
-I have.
-You carry a piece? You need one?
-20 bucks?
-Hello.
-You looking for some action?
-Well... I guess so.
-Why you hang around with them greasers?
-A girl needs protection.
-Yeah. From the likes of them.
-What's your name?
-Easy.
-That ain't much of a name.
-It's easy to remember. Easy Lay.
-What's your real name?
-I don't like my real name.
-What's your real name?
-Iris.
-That's a nice name.
-Why? Who are you?
-I drive a taxi. You tried to get away one night. Remember?
-No.
-You tried to run away in my taxi but your friend -- Sport -- wouldn't let you.
-I don't remember.
-It don't matter. I'm gonna get you outta here.
-We better make it, or Sport'll get mad. How do you want to make it?
-I don't want to make it. I came here to get you out.
-Can't you listen to me? Don't you want to get out of here?
-Why should I want to get out of here? This is where I live.
-But you're the one that wanted to get away. You're the one that came into my cab.
-I musta been stoned.
-Do they drug you?
-Listen...
-Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it!
-You can do it in my mouth.
-Do you understand why I came here?
-I think so. I tried to get into your cab one night, and now you want to come and take me away.
-Don't you want to go?
-I can leave anytime I want.
-But that one night?
-Well, I tried.
-I understand, mister. It means something, really.
-Can I see you again?
-That's not hard to do.
-No, I mean really. This is nothing for a person to do.
-Sure. All right. We'll have breakfast. I get up about one o'clock. Tomorrow.
-Well, you want to or not?
-...and after that Sport and I just started hanging out...
-Where?
-Pittsburgh.
-I ain't ever been there, but it don't seem like such a bad place.
-Why do you want me to go back to my parents? They hate me. Why do you think I split? There ain't nothin there.
-But you can't live like this. It's hell. Girls should live at home.
-God, you are square.
-Who's a killer?
-That fella "Sport" looks like a killer to me.
-He never killed nobody. He's a Libra.
-Huh?
-I'm a Libra too. That's why we get along so well.
-He looks like a killer.
-I think Cancer's make the best lovers. My whole family are air signs.
-He shoots dope too.
-What makes you so high and mighty? Did you ever look at your own eyeballs in a mirror. You don't get eyes like that from...
-Rock music died in 1970, that's what I think. Before that it was fantastic. I can tell you that. Everybody was crashing, hanging out at the Fillmore. Me and my girlfriend Ann used to go up the fire escape, you know? It was unbelievable. Rock Stars everywhere. That Airplane -- that's my group, man. All Libras. But now everybody's split or got sick or
-I never been to a commune. I don't know. I saw pictures in a magazine, and it didn't look very clean to me.
-Why don't you come to a commune with me?
-Me? I could never go to a place like that.
-Why not?
-I... I don't get along with people like that.
-You a scorpion? That's it. You're a scorpion. I can tell.
-Besides, I've got to stay here.
-Why?
-I've got something important to do. I can't leave.
-What's so important?
-I can't say -- it's top secret. I'm doing something for the Army. The cab thing is just part time.
-You a narc?
-Do I look like a narc?
-God, I don't know who's weirder, you or me.
-What are you going to do about Sport and that old bastard?
-Just leave'em. There's plenty of other girls.
-You just gonna leave 'em?
-What should I do? Call the cops?
-Cops don't do nothin.
-Sport never treated me bad, honest. Never beat me up once.
-You can't leave 'em to do the same to other girls. You should get rid of them.
-How?
-I don't know. Just should, though. Somebody should kill 'em. Nobody'd miss 'em.
-God. I know where they should have a commune for you. They should have a commune for you at Bellevue.
-I'm sorry, Iris. I didn't mean that.
-You're not much with girls, are you?
-Do you really think I should go to the commune?
-Sure you don't want to come with me?
-I can't. Otherwise, I would.
-I sure hate to go alone...
-I'll give you the money to go. I don't want you to take any from those guys.
-You don't have to.
-I want to -- what else can I do with my money? You may not see me again -- for a while.
-What do you mean?
-Why should it be grounded?
-Listen -- I mean I just saw the needle of the Empire State Building. You can't see it for the fog!
-Then it's a good guess it's grounded.
-The Empire State in fog means something, don't it? Do you know, or don't you? What is your number, cabbie?
-Have you tried the telephone?
-There isn't time for that. In other words, you don't know.
-No.
-Say, aren't you Charles Palantine, the candidate?
-Yes I am.
-Well, I'm one of your biggest supporters. I tell everybody that comes in this cab that they should vote for you.
-Why, thank you Travis.
-I'm sure you'll win, sir. Everybody I know is going to vote for you. I was going to put one of your stickers on my taxi but the company said it was against their policy.
-Travis, what single thing would you want the next President of this country to do most?
-I don't know, sir. I don't follow political issues much.
-There must be something...
-I know what you mean, Travis, and it's not going to be easy. We're going to have to make some radical changes.
-Nice talking to you, Travis.
-No trouble with the Hack Bureau?
-No Sir.
-Got your license?
-Yes.
-So why do you want to be a taxi driver?
-I can't sleep nights.
-There's porno theatres for that.
-So whatja do now?
-I ride around nights mostly. Subways, buses. See things. Figur'd I might as well get paid for it.
-You kiddin? Who else would hack through South Bronx or Harlem at night?
-You want to work uptown nights?
-I'll work anywhere, anytime. I know I can't be choosy.
-How's your driving record?
-Clean. Real clean. As clean as my conscience.
-Listen, son, you gonna get smart, you can leave right now.
-Sorry, sir. I didn't mean that.
-Physical? Criminal?
-Also clean.
-Age?
-Twenty-six.
-Education?
-Some. Here and there.
-Military record?
-Honorable discharge. May 1971.
-You moonlightin?
-No, I want long shifts.
-We hire a lot of moonlighters here.
-So I hear.
-Hell, we ain't that much fussy anyway. There's always opening on one fleet or another. Fill out these forms and give them to the girl at the desk, and leave your phone number. You gotta phone?
-No.
-Well then check back tomorrow.
-Are you a Secret Service Man?
-Why do you ask?
-Who?
-Is it hard to get to be a Secret Service Man?
-Why?
-I kinda thought I might make a good one. I'm very observant.
-Oh?
-Is that so?
-Look, um, if you give me your name and address, we'll send you the information on how to apply.
-You would, huh?
-Sure.
-My name is Henry Krinkle -- that's with a "K." K-R-I-N-K-L-E. I live at 13 1/2 Hopper Avenue, Fair Lawn, New Jersey. Zip code 07410. Got that?
-Sure, Henry. I got it all. We'll send you all the stuff all right.
-Here, officer, take me in. I'm clean. I didn't do it. Got a ticket once in Jersey. That's all. Honest, officer.
-Your name Sport?
-Anything you say, officer.
-I'm no cop. I want some action.
-I saw. $20 fifteen minutes. $30 half hour.
-Shit.
-I'm no cop.
-Well, if you are, it's entrapment already.
-I'm hip.
-Hey, Sport. How are things?
-O.K., cowboy.
-How are things in the pimp business, hey Sport?
-What's going on?
-I'm here to see Iris.
-Wha -- ?
-Yeah, Iris. You know anybody by that name?
-Get it.
-Hey, mister, I don't know what's going on here. This don't make any sense.
-Travis.
-So howsit?
-What's the action around?
-Wiz?
-Yeah?
-Look, ah, we never talked much, you and me...
-Yeah?
-I wanted to ask you something, on account you've been around so long.
-Shoot. They don't call me the Wizard for nothing.
-Well, I just, you know...
-Things got ya down?
-Real down.
-It happens.
-Sometimes it gets so I just don't know what I'm gonna do. I get some real crazy ideas, you know? Just go out and do somethin.
-The taxi life, you mean.
-Yeah.
-I know.
-Like do anything, you know.
-Look, a person does a certain thing and that's all there is to it. It becomes what he is. Why fight it? What do you know? How long you been a hack, a couple months? You're like a peg and you get dropped into a slot and you got to squirm and wiggle around a while until you fit in.
-That's just about the dumbest thing I ever heard, Wizard.
-What do you expect, Bertrand Russell? I've been a cabbie all my life, what do I know? I don't even know what you're talking about.
-Neither do I, I guess.
-You fit in. It's lonely, it's rough at first. But you fit in. You got no choice.
-Yeah. Sorry, Wizard.
-Don't worry, Killer. You'll be all right. I seen enough to know.
-Had a close one.
-Not really.
-Could we change the subject?
-That record company.in Nashville wants to hear my demo tape.
-Hey! Now there's some good news.
-You think I'm too... ethnic for country music?
-Stick with Carla.
-Don't stop... do no stop.
-No.
-Maybe. Not really.
-Thank you.
-You're not wimping out on us, Goodspeed.
-Spit it out.
-It's me sir.
-He says he's leaving the island sir.
-He's got a gun, sir.
-Just come and get me, sir. I'm tired.
-What do you do for the F.B.I., Goodspeed.
-I'm a field agent.
-I don't understand....
-During the time I cooperate, will I be outside? Outside a jail?
-Well yes I suppose ...
-You suppose?
-John Mason. ' Don't be shocked. I don't have much time. Please listen carefully ....
-Motor oil?
-Don't shoot me. Mason was actually slinging it over his shoulder...
-For christ's sake. Mason trudges down the tu=3Del. Goodspeed follows him.
-I.don't get it. You're going to help me?
-Limp dick?
-I'll go.
-Wrong.
-What, vou?
-What are you doing?
-Wait.
-Mason. Mason?
-You referring to your intellect, Goodspeed? Or another portion of your= anatomy ....
-Surprise, surprise.
-I'm not a field agent, all right? So cut me a break.
-Partners?
-Mason, uhm, John, I have something to tell you. You know that pardon= contract you signed?
-Womack ripped it up, right?
-You knew? All this time?
-I'm not a fool, Billy.
-God's speed.
-St. Michael's Church, Fort Walton, Kansas. Front pew. Right leg. = Hollow.
-Hi.
-I'm sure a lot of people down in L.A. are worried sick about you.
-This Luke was a pretty good guy, wasn't he?
-Oh, yes. Yes, he was.
-Well... let me tell you, I'm not Luke. I know who I am now, and you don't. And... I don't like me very much.
-You know, it's going to take me a while to get used to calling you Pete. Pete. Pete. It's a nice name.
-I believe you.
-The truth is, I'm a lot of things, but communist isn't one of them.
-But if you only went to one meeting, why does anyone care? Besides, why should it even matter if you were a communist?
-Come on, Delly, look at the country today. We're fighting communists in Korea, we're paranoid about the Russians, we've got this thing with the Rosenbergs and the atomic bomb... You think they want "suspected communists" entertaining the American public with party propaganda like, gosh I don't know, "Sand Pirates of the Sahara?"
-What about you, Delly?
-You'll stand by me?
-You've got everything?
-Yeah. Except a chance in hell of coming out of this intact.
-You'll be fine. No matter what Leo Kubelsky says, you've got a hundred and seventy-five years of American law on your side. Don't forget that.
-I wish you were coming with me.
-And who's gonna run the projector until you get back? Mrs. Terwilliger?
-Did you bring along something to read?
-Not exactly light reading, I know. Believe it or not, I've read this since high school, and it got me all the way through law school. Besides, there's something in there that'll help you. You won't have to get very far, it's near the beginning.
-Delly... thanks, thank you. I'll take good care of this.
-Just remember two things. First, the law is a living thing. It made us free and it keeps us free. Sometimes it gets twisted around by people for their own purposes. Sometimes it makes mistakes, sometimes big mistakes. But in the end, the law prevails for the just. Sometimes, it takes a while.
-Tell them Pete. Tell them...
-I see you got the telegram.
-Pete, I'm so sorry about what they did to you. I didn't think you'd come back, I thought you'd want to write again...
-Dell, I can't write unless I'm happy, and I can't be happy unless I'm here -- and with you. This is me, Delly. Pete Appleton. And I love you!
-Dad?
-How'd it go?
-Not as bad as I thought it would. I think I passed.
-That's my girl! Did you...?
-I think it's worse now.
-That always used to work.
-Yeah, well it's not everyday you get news like this. You're sure he's okay? Other than the bump on the head?
-Well...
-He doesn't remember anything, Delly. Doesn't know how he got here, doesn't remember his father, the town, the Bijou, anyone...
-... including me. Right?
-I'm afraid not. He looked right at your picture without batting an eye. But it's probably temporary. He got all the way to Lawson, so he clearly knew who he was and what he was doing until he hit his head. I'm sure it'll all come back to him. It just takes a catalyst.
-You mean, me?
-Daddy, that's Luke, can you let him in? I'll be right down.
-Besides, Daddy's still trying to figure out how to get his new television set working.
-Do you... remember me?
-What.
-No, I... I just wondering where you've been all this time.
-Me too.
-You look... different.
-I do?
-Yeah, a little. I think you grew an inch or so. And you've lost weight.
-You can all go home, now. He's not going anywhere.
-Then why do I feel like we're still being shadowed?
-City hall?
-You first.
-Why me?
-Of course, there was a lot more room before they stuck the memorial down here.
-How'd they get it inside?
-Right here. "Albert Lucas Trumbo." And all the others. I knew them all. So did you. We went to school with most of them.
-It doesn't seem right, this being down here. It ought to be where people can see it.
-So, you're really gonna be a lawyer?
-And why not?
-Whoa.
-Sorry. You don't know how many times I've heard that. "A lady lawyer? Are you crazy?" Like a woman couldn't be as good a lawyer as a man. Or better, in fact.
-Have you always wanted to be a lawyer?
-You... don't remember, but yes, ever since I was a little girl.
-What did... what did I want to be?
-You don't have a boyfriend or anyone... you know... like that?
-Actually, I was married. For four years. But... well, we didn't fit together. I'm divorced now.
-I'm sorry.
-No, it's okay. See, when two people belong together, the other person should be the... the key that unlocks the rest of you... I'm not making sense, am I?
-No, you are. I know exactly what you mean. It's not that you're missing something. It's that the other person gives something to you... that you had all the time. You just didn't see it until they came along.
-We were in love... weren't we?
-What was that?
-Nothing.
-Do you have the...
-Were we going to get married?
-No... you were wearing that suit the last time we went out before...
-Oh...
-This is strange. Do you feel it?
-What?
-We've done this before, so many times. The last time was so long ago, but it feels like yesterday.
-You know, everyone's so excited about the Bijou re-opening...
-It's gonna cost over nine hundred dollars to open the place, Delly.
-Nine hundred...
-Yeah, and needless to say, none of us has that kind of money lying around.
-What about a loan? You could go to the bank...?
-A loan to a man who ran his business into the ground and his son who can't account for the last nine-and-a-half years of his life? Not likely.
-Well, there's got to be a way...
-When did you start smoking?
-I don't smoke?
-You tried to once. It was pretty pitiful.
-They're not bad.
-No, they're not. I'd say your investment was paying dividends.
-My what?
-Back in '37, you heard Benny Goodman play for the first time, so you went out and got a used clarinet. You wanted nothing more than to be able to play like him. You tried hard, but it wasn't long before it was clear that Benny Goodman would never be looking over his shoulder. So you gave the clarinet to Spencer.
-Huh. That was nice of me.
-You had a hidden agenda, though. See, when he was five or six, little Spence used to follow you around like a puppy. Bothered the hell out of you. But as soon as you gave him the clarinet...
-... he started practicing, and he left me alone from then on.
-Exactly. And he got good.
-Now, did you remember that, or...
-Nope. Just filling in the blanks.
-How do you tell those two apart, anyway?
-Alex and Charlie? Simple. Alex is the smarter one.
-Your dancing's very good.
-Thanks.
-It never used to be. You were two left feet on the dance floor. Like pulling teeth to get you to do a little box step.
-What... do you remember?
-Well... everything. It started coming back a couple of days ago. I remember everything now.
-I see...
-Delly, shhhhhh...
-Sir, that is true.
-Mr. Appleton, do you know an "Albert Lucas Trumbo?"
-Luke Trumbo? We never met. But I'd like to think I know him.
-Is that because you were masquerading as Luke Trumbo while you were in Lawson?
-Mr. Clyde you're twisting things around. I wasn't masquerading. Luke Trumbo... Luke was a good man who gave his life for his country. I just... happen to look a little bit like him. That's all.
-Yes, I see that Private Trumbo was reported missing in action and is presumed dead. I also see that you were posted stateside during the war. Fort Dix?
-Yes, sir.
-Now, I see that you've been running a movie theater in Lawson called "The Bijou," is that also true?
-Anyone who reads the newspaper is quite familiar with your... "accident," Mr. Appleton. An accident which, conveniently, came hard upon your dismissal from United Pictures. Tell us, this "accident" of yours, are we given to understand that it affected your memory?
-Yes.
-Sir, are you referring to the fact that I was suffering from amnesia, and I've since recovered my memory?
-I'm interested in knowing if you remember things you did in your past, or if they've been conveniently "blotted out" as a result of your "accident."
-Mr. Clyde, I remember everything.
-Yes... yes, I do.
-Referring to line thirty-seven of the document, does your printed name and signature appear there?
-Yes it does.
-Mr. Appleton, please tell this committee what was the nature and purpose of the "Bread Instead of Bullets Club?"
-Mr. Clyde, do you want to know what I knew then, or do you want to know what I know now? They're two different things?
-Start with what you knew then.
-Well, I'd direct the attention of counsel and committee to line thirty-six of the document, and the name printed and signed there.
-We see it. For the record, it reads "Lucille Angstrom." What's the point of this?
-Well, that's what I knew then. Or who I knew, I should say. You see, I was trying to court Miss Angstrom. I went to the meeting to impress her.
-Are you asking this committee to believe that you attended a meeting of a communist party front organization in order to impress a girl?
-All right, Mr. Appleton. That was what you knew then. What do you know now?
-Well, I know that I lost my job because of one meeting I went to when I was a kid in college. I know that I've been branded a communist, which I'm not, but even if I was, it shouldn't matter, or what do we have a Bill Of Rights for?
-Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the communist party?
-No, sir.
-Are you refuting this evidence and your previous testimony?
-I'm not refuting anything.
-Yet you're contradicting yourself. You earlier testified that you attended a meeting of a communist party-run organization, yet you just said, under oath, that you were not now -- nor ever -- a member of the communist party.
-That's not a contradiction at all, sir. I went to the meeting, but I didn't go as a member.
-Do you swear that the testimony you are about to give before this committee of the United States House of Representatives will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god?
-I do.
-Be seated and state your full name and place of residence for the record.
-Peter Kenneth Appleton. Hollywood, California.
-The chair notes that you are appearing without the benefit of counsel today, Mr. Appleton. We certainly hope this means that you intend to be fully forthcoming with this committee?
-I'll do my best, Mr. Chairman.
-Now, we're informed that you have a statement you'd like to read, is that correct?
-Yes. A prepared statement.
-I'm a little hesitant to say.
-Mr. Appleton, you are making light of a legally constituted committee of the United States Congress. Believe you me, you do not want to incur our wrath.
-Mr. Appleton? Mr. Appleton?
-I... I need a drink of water.
-Mr. Chairman... there's... another Amendment... that I'd like to invoke at this time, but it's not the Fifth Amendment. I wonder if you're familiar with it.
-Cecil! Cecil, there's a young man in there...
-Lord love a duck, Harry, you wanna give me a heart attack right in front of the doctor's office?
-Only one in town. Get in, son.
-Here we are.
-Thanks for the lift, Cecil.
-No wallet, huh?
-No identification at all. What're you thinkin', Cecil?
-Doc, with your permission, I want to bring someone in here. Maybe it'll jar this young man's memory.
-Are you saying that he's...
-Mother o'god...
-Tomorrow afternoon... ... oh my god...
-Yes.
-You ever been in this town before, to your knowledge?
-No. But...
-But what?
-Well, this place sorta reminds me of something.
-What's that?
-"It's a Wonderful Life."
-The Jimmy Stewart picture? I remember that one. Saw it over at the Bijou. So, you remember that, huh?
-"It's a Wonderful Life?"
-Or the Bijou. Either one.
-C'mon, I'll give you two a lift back to the Bijou.
-Well, no, but these gentlemen would like to get some answers...
-Luke, you probably don't remember me, Roscoe Fitts, I'm the grocer here in town.
-Good to meet you. Again.
-Like Ernie said, we're all glad to have you back.
-Thanks.
-And I hear you and Harry are planning on re-opening the Bijou.
-We're gonna try. Place needs a lot of work.
-I can only imagine. You know, I spoke with your Dad last year about maybe taking the Bijou off his hands. I don't think he gave it very much thought.
-Well, he loves the place. It's his home.
-Luke, I'm hopping you can help him see the reality of the situation. I'll come to the point. I want to buy the property, and I'm prepared to offer six-thousand dollars for it. And that's just for the property, mind you. If you want, I'll leave it to you and your father to dismantle and liquidate the building for whatever salvage value it has,
-That's... well, that's very generous, but if you've already got a store...?
-The days of the storefront grocery are numbered. I plan on putting up a free-standing supermarket.
-A super market. Huh.
-So... you do intend to fix the place up after all?
-Excuse me... what's your, um, your name?
-Harry, son. Harry.
-And... what's my name again?
-Albert Lucas Trumbo. But you've been "Luke" since you were a baby.
-You never came back from the war. We were told you were missing and presumed dead.
-When did I leave?
-Nine and-a-half years ago.
-Wait'll you see the inside!
-We've been closed for a while.
-Exactly how long has the Bijou been closed?
-Hmmmm... after you left, it was difficult, and then Lily -- that's your mother -- she took ill and died... we haven't shown a picture since forty-eight.
-Why?
-Well, after the war, with so many of the town's boys killed, people around here didn't much feel like going to the movies, I guess. Some of 'em moved away -- Los Angeles, Sacramento, San Francisco. Wasn't much to keep 'em here, I expect. And now with this "television" thing -- people just aren't going out as much as they used to.
-Didn't you have any help?
-That's Lily. Your mother, rest her soul.
-Mother. She's beautiful.
-They couldn't wait to see you.
-Who... are they?
-This is the staff of the Bijou.
-Oh. What... what time is it?
-I promised him a new uniform when we re-opened. And you'll get one, too.
-Um... Harry? Did I ever keep the books here?
-No, your mother did, then I did after she passed.
-"February 10, 1942. Picture 'Ball of Fire.'"
-Gary Cooper. And Barbara Stanwyck. Yowsa.
-Yes?
-"one fryer and two-dozen eggs?"
-Forty-two was a lean year around here. The war had just started... you were gone less than a month... and we were coming off a bit of a drought as I recall. Not everyone could ante up the price of a ticket, and a chicken's as good as money if you ask me. At that time, it meant a lot to the folks around
-Yeah, I know, but poultry...?
-But I...
-Ernie.
-Carl. Friend of yours from high school. Everybody calls him "Cueball."
-I'll be home in a little while, Harry. Don't wait up.
-You two have a lot of catching up to do, I guess.
-You bet.
-Well...
-Yes?
-And you have sixty-eight dollars and thirty-seven cents in the bank. Your only source of income are my veteran's death benefit of forty dollars a month, to which you're no longer entitled since I'm alive, and these ten dollar a month cash deposits you make. What are those?
-Why don't you two get out there and dance?
-Beautiful, wasn't it?
-Yes.
-Well, son, I wish I could've shown you more, but this is all that's left. Just this one reel that never got sent back from a picture we showed here a long time ago. Nineteen twenty-five, to be exact...
-Dad, I...
-Ha!
-... what?
-Luke... what time is it?
-Jesus...
-The film broke...
-I'm here.
-Did you... did you...
-Did I what?
-Did you fix the damn film? It broke in the last reel.
-I know. Everyone went home. We offered them refunds.
-Anybody take it?
-A few.
-I'm not happy about this, mind you, but if I have to go, at least I'm going in my own bed, the same bed my Lily died in, and... knowing that my son is alive. That's not too shabby, is it?
-You're not going anywhere, Harry.
-Pete. You think maybe you've had enough?
-Thanks, Jerry. Tell me something.
-What.
-You tight with J. Edgar Hoover?
-The G-man?
-Zackly.
-Pete, if J. Edgar Hoover walked in here wearing a dress, I wouldn't know him.
-Too bad. He says I'm a communist.
-You should watch what you say. You don't know who's listening.
-You know I'm not a communist, don't you, Jer?
-Sure, I suppose. That why you're on a bender?
-Pete... go home. Come on, I'll call that girlfriend of yours, what's her name... Sandy?
-Sandra Sinclair.
-Gimmee her number, I'll have her pick you up.
-Sandra Sinclair. Wanna know her real name? Bella Iskowitz. No one's who they really are, Jer. Everyone's someone else. Even you. Even me. Especially me. I'm Peter Appleton, the communist who's not really a communist.
-Nope. Can't. We're through.
-Then I'll call you a cab.
-'Sides, car's right outside. I'll be seein' ya, Jer.
-Any idea how you got here, son?
-Been drinkin' a bit, have we?
-I don't remember. I guess so. Smells like it. Tastes like it.
-Well, you've been wet to the skin. You must've fallen in.
-I guess I did.
-Here, one of mine.
-Do you remember if you were driving a car? Maybe you went over the bridge. No guard rail there, it's easy to do. It's happened before.
-It's possible. I just don't remember.
-And you don't know your name or who you are, that right?
-I... no, I... I just can't...
-What is it?
-Call me... Ishmael?
-That's me and my daughter Adele. My pride and joy. Charms the fish right out of the lake, she does.
-She's very pretty.
-... sorry 'bout that, but you do look familiar to me.
-That's where you live.
-Evening, Luke.
-What's wrong?
-Uh, no... just seeing you standing there, it reminded me... there's a word for it...
-You kids off to the dance?
-Aren't you coming?
-It's a pretty massive heart attack. His lungs have filled with fluid, and, well... it seems as though his body is just... shutting down.
-Can we get him to the hospital?
-You smell gas?
-Don't smell nothin'. He must not be dead in here.
-Jesus.
-You think he's drunk somewhere?
-Wouldn't blame him if he was.
-Well, his rent's past due and he said to call you in case of an emergency. He lose his job or somethin'?
-What's his rent?
-Here's three months rent, and a ten spot for no more questions and to keep an eye on his place. Now, I need a moment alone.
-Huh?
-Take a hike. Am-scray.
-Peter, their hands are tied. You see that, don't you?
-I... I don't believe this.
-Are you saying it's a mistake, that you didn't go to any meetings? They say you did.
-Who the hell is this "they?"
-Congress, the FBI, Red Channels, it don't matter who the hell "they" is. "They" know who "they" are, that's all that matters. Now, did you go to any meetings?
-No. Yeah... I... I don't know. Maybe I did. Leo, this was before Pearl Harbor. I was in college. It was a bunch of kids, and I was just one of 'em. I didn't believe in what they were saying. Hell, I didn't even know what they were saying!
-So, you're saying that it's true. You went to a meeting of a known communist organization.
-Leo, I was trying to impress a skirt. You know me, I'm non- political. Republican, Democrat, Communist, there's not a dime's worth of difference between 'em anyway.
-You should watch what you say.
-I don't know who fingered me, but I'm not a communist!
-Kid, that cuts no ice with them.
-What? That I'm accused of being a communist when I don't happen to be one?
-They know you were at that meeting, Peter. They've been told, and they know.
-Leo, you're my agent. Tell "them" to take a flyin' piss. I didn't do anything wrong. I fought in the war, for crissakes!
-Fought? Come on, Pete, you ran the PX at Fort Dix.
-I was decorated.
-I know. A Purple Heart.
-Exactly.
-You broke your arm. You were coming out of a bar. You were drunk.
-At least I was on our side! Look, they want me to testify? I'll testify. I'll tell 'em anything they want to hear! Jesus, Leo, this is my career!
-You can't testify.
-They don't want you to testify because you're not a big enough fish for them. They just don't want you writing pictures for now. That's all.
-Yeah, well, that's enough.
-Peter, I believe in you. More to the point, I read your new script... um...
-"Ashes To Ashes?"
-That's the one, "Ashes To Ashes." I think it's great. But it'll never get made with this communist business hanging over your head. You can't work until you're cleared -- and believe me, starting right now, I'm gonna do everything I can to make that happen.
-So, it is a blacklist.
-Don't say that. There is no such thing as a blacklist. Now, are you gonna play ball?
-The FBI can't arrest you, because you haven't done anything wrong.
-Well, that's a relief. I understand they usually don't let that stop them.
-However... you're gonna be subpoenaed to testify before the Un-American Activities Committee when they open hearings in Los Angeles. Now, if you play ball and tell them what they want to hear, they'll clear you.
-And I won't be a communist anymore.
-Exactly.
-Next time, it might be the FBI. The time after that, it might be the President. But it'll always be someone. Count on it.
-That's not the country Luke fought for.
-Lest we forget, Peter, your own military career was somewhat less illustrious than Luke's.
-It's wrong, Leo.
-That was quite a show you gave them today. We shoulda sold tickets.
-I'm not sorry for what I said.
-Cigarette?
-When'd you quit smoking?
-Luke didn't smoke.
-Oh, I see. But you're not Luke. You're Peter Appleton, the picture writer.
-Not any more.
-Why not?
-Leo, you were in there, you saw what I did. You think they're gonna let me write pictures? Hell, they're probably gonna throw my ass in jail.
-Not at all.
-Besides, I don't even know if I want to write anymore.
-Peter, I'm an agent. I buy lunches and get deals made for guys like you. That's what I do. You're a writer. You write pictures. That's what you do. And trust me, you'll be back doing it again tomorrow morning.
-What do you mean?
-Kid, you gave them what they wanted. This committee, it feeds on names. The more names, the better. But for some high-profile witnesses, like yourself, any name will do.
-Leo, I didn't give them the names. I wouldn't do that.
-Her name was right there in front of them. They gave it to me, I didn't give it to them.
-Well, that's not what they think.
-Leo, she was... she was a girl I knew in college...
-You should keep track of your old school chums. Turns out she eventually joined the communist party. On top of which, she's Lucy Angstrom Hirschfeld now, and she happens to be a writer for "Studio One" on CBS.
-Oh god, oh, god, no, I...
-So, our lawyers had a talk with the Committee's lawyers. That Elvin Clyde fella won't be too happy about it, but we cut a deal. They cleared you -- and they're gonna thank you publicly for your testimony purging yourself.
-Thank me publicly? For what? For ruining this woman's life?
-I haven't danced with another man since Mr. Terwilliger passed.
-When was that?
-That was beautiful.
-I taught you that.
-I can play the piano?
-Sit. Play with me.
-No, I...
-Luke! Luke, something's wrong! The film broke, and I can't raise Harry on the house phone!
-What?
-Is there a young Tim?
-No.
-Found me.
-So I guess this fellow belongs to you. What's his name?
-Cat.
-Cat. That's simple. I like it. Hi, Cat.
-We thought you was dead, you know. It's okay that I live here?
-T-t-thank you. Thank you. I... I always... I always wanted to wear my uniform from the Great War, but your daddy, he always said no, that's not an usher's u-u-uniform, that's an army uniform and the Bijou, she's not the army. They give me a medal, but I lost it in the h-h-hospital. I forget things sometimes. Since the w-w-war.
-That's my r-r-rent.
-Can I... Can I t-t-talk to you?
-Please, sit.
-They'll come back, you know. They'll all c-c-come back.
-The customers? I don't know...
-Tim, I have to tell you something.
-Oh.
-It's about me.
-I'm... I'm not Luke. Luke is dead. He died in the war. He's not coming back, and I'm not him. I don't even belong here. This whole thing started out as an accident, and that's all it is. An accident.
-Oh...
-Did you think I didn't kn-kn-know that?
-I thought you...
-Pete, there's time before the picture starts, you want to get some popcorn?
-What happened?
-What exactly did you hear?
-That you got let go.
-I wasn't alone. Wasn't Frankie Ruskin directing the picture you're in?
-He was, but he got sick. We got a new director today. Why?
-Well, whatever Frankie's got, it's catching.
-You mean, he was... let go, too?
-Will you help me, Sandy?
-Ancestors?
-I suppose. Thanks.
-They all know you?
-Ernie Cole here just got himself elected mayor. Lost both his boys in the war. Kenny at Anzio and Willie at Normandy.
-The war...
-You hungry, son?
-Yes. Very.
-Said as much myself, Doc. Can't place him, though. To look at him, you'd think the cheese slid off his cracker. Well, morning's half-over. I'm off.
-Thank you, Mr. Lawson.
-Now that you remember who you are, were you planning on telling anyone your true identity?
-I already have.
-Who?
-My girlfriend. If she still is...
-Would that be Miss Sinclair?
-Mr. Appleton, I have reason to believe you're holding something back, and that just rubs me the wrong way. Sir, are you a communist?
-No. Absolutely not.
-Miss Hayworth?
-Yes?
-Yes?
-The man at the post office sent me. He said you'd know the name of the little Brenner girl.
-Cathy?
-The one who lives in the white house across the bay?
-That's the one. Cathy Brenner.
-They seemed sure it was either Alice or Lois.
-Are you a friend of Mitch's?
-I've been wanting a cigarette for the past twenty minutes, but I couldn't convince myself to stop. This 'tilling of the soil' can get a little compulsive, you know.
-It's a lovely garden.
-Thank you. It gives me something to do with my spare time. There's a lot of spare time in Bodega Bay. Did you plan on staying long?
-No. Just a few hours.
-You're leaving after you see Cathy?
-Well... something like that. I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound so mysterious.
-Did you drive up from San Francisco?
-Yes.
-It's a nice drive. Is that where you met Mitch?
-Yes.
-Do I? No, I'm an open book, I'm afraid. Or maybe a closed one. Pretty. What are they?
-Mmm. Well, good luck, Miss Daniels.
-Oh, hi! Did you find her all right?
-I was wondering...
-Yes?
-That sign. Do you think I could have the room for a single night?
-Well, I'd really hope to rent it for...
-I would appreciate it. I've tried everywhere in town, and they're all full.
-It's utilitarian, I'll say that for it.
-I just picked up some things for the night at the general store. You see, I hadn't planned on spending much time here.
-Miss Daniels? Is that you?
-Hi. Is something wrong? Is that cut beginning to bother you?
-No, it's not the cut that's bothering me.
-Would you like some brandy?
-If you have some, I'd...
-No, thank you. Won't you call me Melanie?
-Thank you.
-Or would you rather I changed the subject?
-I think so.
-How do you like our little hamlet?
-I despise it.
-Well, I don't suppose it offers much to the casual visitor. Unless you're thrilled by a collection of shacks on a hillside. It takes a while to get used to.
-Where are you from originally, Annie?
-San Francisco.
-How'd you happen to come here?
-I guess you knew that, anyway.
-I suspected as much.
-You needn't worry. It's over and done with. A long time ago.
-Annie -- there's nothing between Mitch and me.
-Isn't there? Maybe there isn't. Maybe there's never anything between Mitch and any girl.
-What do you mean?
-I think I'll have some of that, too. I was seeing quite a lot of him in San Francisco, you know. And then, one weekend, he asked me up to meet Lydia.
-When was this?
-Four years ago. Of course, that was shortly after his father died. Things may be different now.
-Different?
-With Lydia. Did she seem a trifle distant?
-A trifle.
-Then maybe it isn't different at all. You know, her attitude nearly drove me crazy. I simply couldn't understand it.
-When I got back to San Francisco I spent days trying to figure out just what I'd done to displease her.
-And what had you done?
-Nothing! I simply existed. So what was the answer? A jealous woman, right? A clinging possessive mother. Wrong. With all due respect to Oedipus, I don't think that was the case at all.
-Then what was it?
-Lydia liked me, you see. That was the strange part of it. In fact, now that I'm no longer a threat, we're very good friends.
-Then why did she object to you?
-Because she was afraid.
-Afraid you'd take Mitch?
-Afraid I'd give Mitch.
-I don't understand.
-Afraid of any woman who'd give Mitch the only thing Lydia can give him -- love.
-Annie, that adds up to a jealous, possessive woman.
-No, I don't think so. She's not afraid of losing her son, you see. She's only afraid of being abandoned.
-Someone ought to tell her she'd be gaining a daughter.
-She already has a daughter.
-What about Mitch? Didn't he have anything to say about this?
-I can understand his position. He went through a lot with Lydia after his father died. He didn't want to risk going through it all over again.
-I see.
-So it ended. Not immediately, of course. I went back to San Francisco, and I still saw Mitch every now and then... but we both knew it was finished.
-Then what are you doing here in Bodega Bay?
-You get straight to the point, don't you?
-I'm sorry. Forgive me.
-No, that's all right, I don't mind. I came up here for two reasons. To begin with, I was bored with my job in San Francisco. I was teaching at a private school there... well, you know, you probably went to one yourself.
-I did.
-Then you know. Little girls in brown beanies. Deadly. Here I have a life. I'll go into that classroom on Monday morning, and I'll look out at twenty- five upturned little faces, and each of them will be saying, 'Yes, please give me what you have.' And I'll give them what I have. I haven't got very much, but I'll give them every ounce
-And the second?
-He wants me to go to Cathy's party tomorrow afternoon. I said I would.
-I'll be going, too, to help out. It should be fun, Melanie.
-Do you think I should go?
-That's up to you.
-It's really up to Lydia, isn't it?
-Never mind Lydia. Do you want to go?
-Yes.
-Is anyone there?
-Look.
-He got a call from Dan Fawcett a little while ago. His chickens won't eat, either.
-It's what you said, Mom. Mr. Brinkmeyer's feed is no good.
-Mitch knows lots of people in San Francisco. Of course, they're mostly hoods.
-Cathy!
-Well, Mom, he's the first to admit it. He spends half his day in the detention cells at the Hall of Justice.
-In a democracy, Cathy, everyone is entitled to a fair trial. Your brother's practice...
-Yes, I did.
-Mother!
-Mitch, can I bring the lovebirds in here?
-No!
-Mom, they're in a cage!
-They haven't harmed anyone.
-Miss Daniels?
-They're beautiful! They're just what I wanted! Is there a man and a woman? I can't tell which is which.
-I still don't understand how you knew I wanted lovebirds.
-Is smoking fun?
-Oh, I suppose so.
-Could I have a puff?
-I don't think your mother would like that.
-Why, it's just like air, isn't it? When I grow up, I'm gonna smoke like a chimney! I'll be eleven tomorrow, you know.
-I know.
-Are you coming to my party?
-I don't think so. I have to get back to San Francisco.
-Don't you like us?
-Darling, of course I do!
-Don't you like Bodega Bay?
-I don't know yet.
-Mitch likes it very much. He comes up every weekend, you know, even though he has his own apartment in the city. He says San Francisco is just an ant hill at the foot of a bridge.
-I guess it does get a little hectic at times.
-Why didn't Annie stay for dinner?
-She said something about having to get home to take a call from her mother back East.
-Oh. Where d'you want the coffee?
-Take it into the living room, would you, hon?
-We've got an extra room upstairs and everything.
-Yeah, but she'll be hitting all that traffic going back to San Francisco.
-Mitch? Why are they doing this? The birds.
-I don't know, honey.
-Why are they trying to kill people?
-Cathy! Get a blanket and some bandages!
-Mitch, let's turn back.
-Mitch? Do... do you think they'll be all right? In the trunk? Can they breath?
-What?
-The little Brenner girl.
-Lois!
-It's Alice, ain't it?
-No, it's Lois!
-Good morning.
-Morning.
-I wonder if you could help me.
-Try my best.
-I'm looking for a man named Mitchell Brenner.
-Do you know him?
-Yep.
-Where does he live?
-Right here. Bodega Bay.
-Yes, but where?
-Right across the bay there.
-See where I'm pointing?
-Yes?
-See them two big trees across there?
-Yes?
-And the white house?
-That's where the Brenners live.
-The Brenners? Mr. and Mrs. Brenner?
-Nope, just Lydia and the two kids.
-The two kids?
-Yep. Mitch and the little girl.
-I see. How do I get down there?
-Follow the road straight through town 'til it curves off on the left. That'll take you right around the bay to their front door.
-The front door. Isn't there a back road I can take?
-Nope. That's the road. Straight through town, stay on your left, right around the bay to the front door.
-You see, I wanted to surprise them.
-Mmmm.
-I didn't want to come right down the road, where they could see me.
-Mmmm.
-It's a surprise, you see.
-Mmmmmm. 'Course, you could get yourself a boat, cut right across the bay with it. The Brenners got a little dock there you could tie up at. If that's what you wanted to do.
-Where would I get a boat?
-Down at the dock by the Tides Restaurant. Ever handled an outboard boat?
-Of course.
-D'you want me to order one for you?
-Thank you.
-What name?
-Daniels.
-I wonder if you could tell me...
-Yep?
-The little girl's name.
-The little Brenner girl?
-Yes.
-Are you sure?
-Well, I ain't positive, if that's what you mean.
-I need her exact name, you see.
-That case, I tell you what you do. You go straight through town 'til you see a little hotel on your left there. Not the motel, that's the other end of town. This is the hotel. Now you take a right turn there, you got that?
-Yes?
-Near the top of the hill, you'll see the school and right behind it, the church. You head for the school. Now just past the school, you'll see a little house with a red mail box. That's where Annie Hayworth lives, she's the school teacher. You ask her about the little Brenner girl.
-Thank you.
-Yep. Could save yourself a lot of trouble. Her name's Alice for sure.
-How much for the phone calls?
-I don't see what difference it makes, Mrs. Bundy, crows or blackbirds. If they attacked the school, that's pretty serious.
-Mrs. Bundy, you don't seem to understand. This young lady says there was an attack on the school.
-I didn't even know there were many crows in Bodega Bay this time of year.
-Why not, Mrs. Bundy?
-What good'll that do? Smoke's as bad as birds.
-Deke, have you got a first aid kit back there?
-What happened?
-Young woman cut herself.
-Shall I call the doctor?
-You cut yourself outside, Miss?
-I had a man trip and fall in the parking lot once, sued me before I could bat an eyelash.
-I don't think Miss Daniels is going to sue anybody.
-We don't have any fog this time of year, Mitch.
-Gulls!
-Are you finished here, Sebastian?
-Let me have some apple pie, Helen. Who said anything about war? All I said was that some gulls...
-One apple pie! You want more coffee?
-Here's your pie, Sebastian. You want it at the table?
-No. Here's fine.
-I thought I saw your car. What are you doing in town?
-I had to acknowledge a delivery. Mother, I'd like you to meet...
-A what?
-How do you do, Miss Daniels? Acknowledge a what?
-Oh. I see.
-For Cathy. For her birthday. By the way, where is she?
-Across at Brinkmeyer's.
-You did say birds?
-Yes, lovebirds. We couldn't let you...
-Lovebirds, I see.
-Seven o'clock, same as usual.
-There's nothing wrong with those chickens, Mitch. I'm going to call Fred Brinkmeyer right now.
-He sold the feed to me, didn't he?
-Caviat emptor, Mother. Let the buyer beware.
-Whose side are you on?
-I'm simply quoting the law.
-She's a charming girl, isn't she, Mitch?
-Yes, very.
-And certainly pretty.
-Yes.
-How long have you known her?
-I told you. We met yesterday.
-In a bird shop.
-Yes.
-She was selling birds.
-No. I only led her into believing I believed she was... Mother, it's really very complicated.
-But she did buy the lovebirds and then brought them all the way...
-Mother, where did you go to law school?
-Forgive me. I suppose I'm just naturally curious about a girl like that. She's very rich, isn't she?
-I suppose so. Her father owns a big newspaper in San Francisco.
-You'd think he could manage to keep her name out of print. She's always mentioned in the columns, Mitch.
-I know, Mother.
-She is the one who jumped into that fountain in Rome last summer, isn't she?
-Yes, Mother.
-Perhaps I'm old-fashioned. I know it was supposed to be very warm there, Mitch, but... well... actually... well, the newspaper said she was naked.
-I know, Mother.
-It's none of my business, of course, but when you bring a girl like that to...
-Mother?
-Yes?
-I think I can handle Melanie Daniels by myself.
-Well... So long as you know what you want, Mitch.
-Well... well, is everyone all right?
-Tell him about the party.
-Did you you get the windows in the attic, Mitch?
-I got them all, Mother.
-When do you think they'll come?
-I don't know.
-If there are... larger birds, Mitch... they'll get into the house.
-That's a chance we have to take.
-Maybe we ought to leave.
-Not now. Not while they're massing out there.
-When?
-I don't know when. We'll see what...
-Where will we go?
-I don't know yet. I think we'll be safe here. Let's bring that wood in.
-I don't know. We'll break up the furni...
-Mother! I'm trying my best! I'm... trying... my...
-Mitch...
-Mother, get a rope!
-Oh, my God, look at her!
-I can handle it.
-I'm not very good at this, Mitch.
-You're doing fine.
-They're gone. The same pattern.
-But they'll be back.
-We won't be here.
-Where can we go, Mitch? There's no place to go.
-I want to try for San Francisco. There are buildings there. Steel and concrete!
-We'd never make it. They're probably all over the road.
-We have to try it. We can't stay here. Melanie needs help. Mother, the house won't take another attack.
-If... If... when we get to San Francisco... If they're already there?
-They won't be.
-If they are?
-We'll worry about that when we get there.
-I'm frightened, terribly frightened. I... I don't know what's out there, Mitch.
-What do we have to know, Mother? We're all together, we all love each other, we all need each other. What else is there? Mother, I want us to stay alive!
-I started to say... inside...
-Then you knew Mitch in San Francisco, is that right?
-If I go across to Santa Rosa I'll come onto the freeway much earlier.
-No, it's me, Mrs. Brenner. I thought you might like some tea.
-Where's Mitch?
-Al Malone wanted him out at the Fawcett farm.
-Why? Didn't Al believe my story?
-He was calling from the farm, Mrs. Brenner.
-Then he saw.
-He must have. He sent for the Santa Rosa police.
-Do you think Cathy's all right?
-What?
-Yes, I'm sure she's fine.
-Do I sound foolish to you?
-No.
-I keep seeing Dan Fawcett's face. They have such big windows at the school. All the windows were broken. In Dan's bedroom. All the windows.
-Try not to think of that, Mrs. Brenner.
-I wish I were a stronger person. There is a long awkward silence. She sips at her tea reflectively.
-I lost my husband four years ago, you know. It's odd how you depend on someone for strength, and then suddenly all the strength is gone, and you're alone. I'd love to relax some time. I'd love to be able to sleep. Do you think Cathy's all right?
-Annie's there. She'll be all right.
-I'm not this way, you know. Not usually. I don't fuss and fret over my children. When Frank died... You see, he knew the children, he really knew them. He had the knack of being able to enter into their world, of becoming a part of them. That's a rare talent.
-Yes.
-I miss him. You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I think 'I have to make Frank's breakfast,' and I... I get up and there's a... a very good reason for getting out of bed until... until, of course, I remember. I miss talking to him. Cathy's a child, you know, and Mitch... ...Mitch has his own life. I'm glad he
-Would you like to rest now, Mrs. Brenner.
-No. No... don't go yet. I feel as if I... I don't understand you. And I want so much to understand.
-Why, Mrs. Brenner?
-Because my son is... My son seems to be fond of you. And I... I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I really don't know if I... like you or not.
-Is that so important, Mrs. Brenner? You liking me?
-Yes, I think so. My son is important to me. I want to like any girl he chooses.
-And if you don't?
-Then I don't suppose it'll matter much to anyone but me.
-I think it might also matter to Mitch.
-Mitch has always done exactly what he wanted to do. I'm not complaining. That's the mark of a man. But... You see, I... I wouldn't want to be... be left alone. I don't think I could bear being left alone. I... forgive me. This business with the birds has me upset. I... I don't know what I'd do if Mitch weren't here.
-Why don't you try to sleep now, Mrs. Brenner.
-I wish I were stronger. Do you think she's all right? Do you think she's safe at the school?
-Would you like me to go for her?
-I couldn't ask you to.
-I don't mind, really.
-Would you? I'd feel so much better.
-That's the last of it.
-Did you close the door?
-Please don't mess me up with bandages, Mrs. Brenner.
-Shhhh. Shhhh.
-That's a chimney swift, all right.
-Well, these birds live in chimneys, you know.
-Not by the thousands.
-No, I gotta admit this is peculiar. Did you have a light burning or something.
-Yes, but the curtains were drawn.
-'Cause sometimes birds are attracted by light, you know. Sure is a peculiar thing.
-What are we going to do about it, Al?
-I don't think I get you, Mitch. Do about what?
-What's more likely, they got in the room and was just panicked, that's all.
-All right, I'll grant you a bird'll panic in an enclosed room. But, they didn't just get in. They came in! Right down that chimney.
-My wife found a bird in the back seat of her car once.
-Didn't know how he got in there. Had a broken leg, turned out. Just fluttering all around there.
-These birds were...
-Oh, yeah, yeah. How old is she now?
-Does this room look silly?
-Well, if there's anything else I can do, Mitch...
-Thanks, Al. We'll be all right.
-He was killed last night. By birds.
-There's an ordinance against burning anything in this town, unless it's...
-Is that for Mitch Brenner?
-Yes.
-He's not home.
-He won't be back until Monday. I mean, if those birds are for him....
-Monday?
-Yes. I don't think you should leave them in the hall, do you?
-Well, where did he go?
-Bodega Bay. He goes up there every weekend.
-Bodega Bay? Where's that?
-Up on the coast. About sixty miles north of here.
-Sixty... Oh.
-About an hour and a half on the freeway. Or two if you take the coast highway.
-Oh.
-I'd hold the birds for him, but I'm going away myself. Someone's got to feed them, I suppose.
-Yes. Yes, someone's got to feed them.
-I wonder if you could help me.
-What?
-Yes, what was it you were looking for, sir?
-Lovebirds.
-Lovebirds, sir?
-Yes. I understand there are different varieties, it that true?
-Well... yes, sir, there are.
-These are for my sister... her birthday you see. As she'll be eleven and... well, frankly, I wouldn't want a pair of birds that were too demonstrative.
-I understand completely, sir.
-As the same time, I wouldn't want birds that were aloof, either.
-No, of course not.
-Do you have a pair that are just friendly?
-I think so, sir. Now then, let me see.
-Aren't these lovebirds?
-No, sir, those are... redbirds.
-The sign says strawberry finches.
-Yes, we call them that too. Ahhh, here we are, Lovebirds...
-Those are canaries, Miss. Doesn't this make you feel awful?
-Doesn't what make me...?
-All these innocent little creatures caged up like this?
-Well, we can't just let them fly around the shop, you know.
-I suppose not. Is there an ornithological reason for keeping them in separate cages?
-Oh, certainly. It's to protect the species.
-I imagine that's very important. Especially during the moulting season.
-Yes, that's a particularly dangerous time.
-Are they moulting now?
-Some of them are.
-How can you tell?
-Yes, I see. About those lovebirds, Miss...
-Are you sure you wouldn't like to see a canary instead? We have some very nice canaries this week.
-What did you say?
-I was merely drawing a parallel, Miss Daniels.
-But how... how do you know my name?
-A little birdie told me. Good day, Miss Daniels. Madam.
-I don't know you.
-Ahhh, but I know you.
-How?
-We met in court.
-We never met in court or anyplace else.
-That's true. I'll rephrase it. I saw you in court.
-When?
-Do you remember one of your practical jokes that resulted in the smashing of a plate glass window?
-I didn't break that window!
-No, but your little prank did. The judge should have put you behind bars!
-What are you? A policeman?
-I simply believe in the law, Miss Daniels, and I'm not too keen on practical jokers.
-What do you call your lovebird story if not a practical...
-Ahhh, but I really do want those birds.
-You knew I didn't work here. You deliberately...
-Right. I recognized you when I came in. I thought you might like to know what it felt like to be on the other end of a gag. What do you think of that, Miss Daniels?
-I think you're a louse.
-I am. Good day. Madam.
-And I'm glad you didn't get your lovebirds!
-That was the damndest thing I ever saw.
-What made it...
-What's that?
-So you're a lawyer.
-That's right. What are you doing in Bodega Bay?
-Do you practice here?
-No, San Francisco. What are you...?
-What kind of law?
-Criminal.
-Is that why you'd like to see everyone behind bars?
-Not everyone, Miss Daniels.
-Ouch!
-I'm sorry. What are you doing up here?
-Didn't you see the lovebirds?
-You came all the way up here to bring me those birds?
-To bring your sister those birds. You said it was her birthday. Besides, I was coming up anyway.
-What for?
-To see a friend of mine. Will you please be careful?
-I'm sorry. Who's your friend?
-Why...
-Yes?
-Annie. Annie Hayworth.
-Well, well, small world. Annie Hayworth.
-Yes.
-How do you know Annie?
-We... we went to school together. College.
-Did you! Imagine that! How long will you be staying?
-Just a few... just a day or two... the weekend.
-I think we'll have to shave the hair. Deke, have you got a razor?
-Oh, no you don't!
-So you came up to see Annie, huh?
-Yes.
-I don't believe you. I think you came up to see me.
-Why would I want to see you, of all people?
-I don't know. But it seems to me you must have gone to a lot of trouble to find out who I was, and where I lived and...
-It was no trouble at all. I simply called my father's paper. Besides, I was coming up here anyway, I already told you...
-You like me, huh?
-I loathe you. You have no manners. And you're arrogant and conceited and... I wrote you a letter about it, in fact, but I tore it up.
-What did it say?
-Can't see a thing.
-I can't say I like your seagulls much, either. I come all the way up here to...
-But you were coming up anyway, remember?
-I was! And all I get for my pains is a... a... a hole in the head!
-Right next to the one you already had.
-After all, you did go to the trouble of bringing up those birds.
-Yes, but...
-You are, aren't you?
-Certainly, but...
-With... with Annie, of course.
-Of course, how stupid of me. A quarter to seven, will that be all right?
-Annie... Annie may have made other plans. I'll have to see. Besides, I can find my own way.
-You're sure now? You won't hire a boat or anything?
-I'm sure.
-Seven o'clock then.
-Hi. Annie had no plans, huh? I'm glad you came. Are you hungry?
-Famished.
-Why did he shoot her?
-He was watching a ball game on television.
-What?
-You'll be able to find your way back, won't you?
-Oh, yes.
-Will I be seeing you again?
-San Francisco's a long way from here.
-I'm in San Francisco five days a week. With a lot of time on my hands. I'd like to see you. Maybe we could go swimming or something. Mother tells me you like to swim.
-How does Mother know what I like to do?
-I guess she and I read the same gossip columns.
-Oh. That. Rome.
-Mmmm. I like to swim. We might get along very...
-In case you're interested, I was pushed into that fountain.
-Without any clothes on?
-With all my clothes on! The newspaper that ran the story happens to be a rival of my father's paper. Anything they said...
-You were just a poor, innocent victim of circumstance, huh?
-I'm neither poor nor innocent, but the truth of that particular...
-The truth is you were running around with a pretty wild crowd...
-Yes, but...
-...who didn't much care for propriety or convention or...
-Yes.
-...the opinions of others, and you went right along with them, isn't that the truth?
-Yes, that's the truth. But I was pushed into that fountain, and that's the truth, too.
-Sure. Do you really know Annie Hayworth?
-No. At least, I didn't until I came up here.
-So you didn't go to school together.
-No.
-And you didn't come up here to see her.
-No.
-You were lying.
-Yes, I was lying.
-Did you really write a letter to me? Or was that a lie, too?
-I wrote the letter.
-What did it say?
-It said, "Dear Mr. Brenner, I think you need those lovebirds, after all. They may help your personality." That's what it said.
-But you tore it up.
-Yes.
-Why?
-Because it seemed stupid and foolish.
-Like jumping into a fountain in Rome!
-I told you what happened in Rome!
-Do you expect me to believe...?
-I'd still like to see you.
-Why?
-That might have been good enough in Rome last summer. But it's not good enough now.
-It is for me.
-But not for me.
-What do you want ?
-I really shouldn't have any more. I'm a little tipsy already.
-I'm trying to get you to stay for dinner. We're going to have a lot of roast left over.
-I couldn't possibly. I have to get back.
-Cheers.
-What's in this? Nitro-glycerin?
-Why do you have to rush off? What's so important in San Francisco?
-Well... I have to get to work tomorrow morning, for one thing.
-You have a job?
-I have several jobs.
-What do you do?
-I do different things on different days.
-Like what?
-On Mondays and Wednesdays, I work for the Travelers' Aid. At the airport.
-Helping travelers.
-And on Tuesdays, I take a course in General Semantics at Berkeley. That's not a job, of course. I just take it because...
-What about Thursdays and Fridays?
-On Thursdays I have my meeting and lunch. I'm chairman of a group that's sending a little Korean boy through school. We plan how to raise funds and... things like that.
-And Fridays? What do you do then?
-Nothing. I go to bird shops on Fridays.
-I'm glad you do.
-Do you know what I was doing in that shop?
-What?
-I have an aunt, you see. Aunt Tessa. She's seventy years old, and veddy prim and strait-laced. She's coming back from Europe at the end of the month, and I'm going to give her a myna bird that'll talk to her.
-What'll it say?
-You'll think me very bold, sir.
-Are you all right?
-You look a little shaken.
-I... I am. Mitch, is... Mitch, this isn't usual, is it? The gull yesterday when I was in the boat, and the one last night at Annie's, and now...
-Last night? What do you mean?
-A gull smashed into Annie's front door. Mitch... what's happening?
-I don't know, Melanie. Look, do you have to go back to Annie's?
-No, I have my things in the car.
-Do you want some mustard with this?
-Some cream?
-I'll take Cathy up to bed.
-Are you staying?
-It smelled of the fire.
-It's hard to believe anything at all happened yesterday, isn't it? It's so beautiful and still now. I think I've got it all figured out, by the way.
-Really? Tell me about it.
-It's an uprising.
-Of birds?
-It all started several months ago with a peasant sparrow up in the hills, a malcontent. He went around telling all the other sparrows that human beings weren't fit to rule this planet, preaching wherever anyone would listen...
-Growing a beard...
-Yes, of course, he had to have a beard! 'Birds of the world, unite!' he kept saying, over and over...
-So they united.
-Not at first. Oh yes, a few sparrows out for kicks...
-Well, they'll go along with anything.
-Sure. But eventually, even the more serious-minded birds began to listen. "Why should humans rule?" they asked themselves.
-Hear!
-Why should we submit ourselves to their domination?
-Hear, hear!
-And all the while, that sparrow was getting in his little messages. Birds of the world, unite!
-Take wing!
-What it was, probably...
-Mmm?
-They're probably hungry, that's all. This was a bad summer. They eat berries and... and nuts, you know, and the hills are all burned out, so they're probably searching for food wherever they can get it.
-It's so damn quiet out there.
-It was like that yesterday.
-What do you mean?
-After the gulls attacked.
-I hadn't thought of that. And then the swifts came.
-It makes you feel as if they're... they're waiting or... resting... or....
-Melanie, Melanie...
-I'm frightened, Mitch.
-No, no...
-I'm frightened and confused and I... I think I want to go back to San Francisco where there are buildings and... and concrete and...
-Melanie...
-That was Al on the phone. He wants me to meet him out at the Fawcett place. Says some detectives from Santa Rosa'll be there in a little while. Will you be all right here?
-I got here as fast as I could. Where's Cathy?
-I think it's safe to get out now.
-Don't let's take any chances.
-The town looks clear.
-The bay doesn't.
-How long have they been gathering there?
-I keep thinking of Annie.
-It... it doesn't look very different, does it? A little smoke over the town, but otherwise...
-Even the birds sitting out there. It does look very much the same, Mitch. This could be last week.
-Do you want to try your father again?
-I tried a little while ago. The phone's dead.
-Have we still got power?
-Where are they heading?
-Inland.
-Santa Rosa?
-When will they stop?
-I thought they'd have stopped by now.
-What time is it?
-Almost two a.m.
-You must be exhausted.
-You'd have been safe in San Francisco.
-The power.
-Mitch...
-We'd better light some of those lamps.
-Mitch, if they hear the car starting... if they see movement...
-Can we turn back?
-Hello, Mrs. MacGruder, have you ever seen so many gulls?
-Hello, Miss Daniels.
-I was hoping you'd be a little late, Miss Daniels. You see, he hasn't arrived yet.
-You said three o'clock.
-I know. Oh, I know. I've been calling all morning. Oh, you have no idea. Miss Daniels, they're so difficult to get, really they are. We get them from India, you know, when they're just little chicks, and then we have to...
-Well, this one won't be a chick, will he?
-Certainly not. Oh, no. Certainly not. This will be a full grown myna bird. Full grown.
-And he'll talk?
-Well, yes, he'll talk. Well, no, no. You'll have to teach him to talk.
-Yes.
-Yes. Oh my, I suppose I should call them again. They said three o'clock. Maybe it's the traffic. I'll call. Would you mind waiting?
-I think maybe you'd better deliver him. Let me give you my address.
-I'm sure they're on the way, though. Could I just call?
-There we are!
-That... that... who was that?
-Have you got a pencil?
-They said the myna bird would be here later this afternoon. If you'd care to come back...
-No, you'd better send him. May I use your phone?
-Yes, certainly.
-Do you have any lovebirds?
-No, not in the shop. But I can order them for you.
-How soon?
-Well... well, how soon would you want them?
-Immediately. Is this the Daily News? Melanie Daniels. Would you get me the city desk, please?
-I might be able to have them by tomorrow morning. Would that be all right?
-No, the birds didn't attack until the children were outside the school. Crows, I think. I don't know, Daddy. Is there a difference between crows and blackbirds?
-There is very definitely a difference, Miss.
-They're both perching birds, of course, but of quite different species. The crow is brachyrhynchos. The blackbird is cyanocephalus.
-I just came from the school, madam. I don't know about their brain pans but...
-Hello, may I speak to Mitch Brenner, please? Yes, I'll wait.
-Yes, all right, I'll wait for you. Good-by.
-I hardly think a few birds are going to bring about the end of the world.
-The gulls were after your fish, Mr. Sholes. Really, let's be logical about this.
-What were the crows after at the school?
-What do you think they were after, Miss...?
-Daniels. I think they were after the children.
-For what purpose?
-I don't know why.
-Doesn't it seem odd that they'd wait all that time to start a... a war against humanity?
-Have you ever seen a jay protecting a nest?
-I have seen jays doing everything it is conceivable for jays to do. Ornithology happens to be my avocation, Miss Daniels. You're talking about preservation of the species, a hen protecting her young. There's a vast difference between...
-Maybe they're all protecting the species. Maybe they're tired of being shot at and roasted in ovens and...
-Are you discussing gamebirds now? All birds are not gamebirds, you know.
-And what? Vultures? Hawks? Eagles?
-Maybe! Is it impossible?
-Sebastian, I'm not an alarmist.
-No one ever said you were, Mitch.
-Look, Mitch, even if this is true, even if all the birds...
-Do you believe it's true, Sebastian?
-No. I don't, Mitch. Because I can't see any reason for it.
-It's happening. Isn't that a good enough reason?
-I like Bodega Bay as well as any man. If I thought...
-Then help me, Sebastian. You're an important man in this town. If you'll help, the rest will.
-Help how? What do you want to do?
-I'm not sure, but...
-I only know we've got to drive them away from town -- before they drive us away.
-How?
-How do you plan to do that?
-How can we go on living here if we blanket the town with smoke?
-Scotch, light on the water.
-Birds?
-Yeah, birds. All they do is make a mess of everything. Who needs them?
-We need them.
-Not if they're starting a war.
-Then fight back. Get yourselves guns and wipe them off the face of the earth.
-Kill them all. Get rid of them. Messy animals.
-That's right, sir, I recall it. A large flock of seagulls got lost in a fog and headed in for the town, where all the lights were.
-They made some mess, too, smashing into houses and everything. They always make a mess. We're better off without them.
-How many gulls did you count, Mrs. Bundy?
-Which gulls, Mr. Sholes? There are several varieties.
-The ones that've been raising the devil with my fishing boats.
-Actually, those gulls must have been after the fish.
-Of course.
-Makes a lot more sense than... well, an attack.
-I'm going out that way, lady. You can follow me.
-Then let's go. Now!
-I haven't finished my drink.
-Were the Santa Rosa police at your school today? Are you coming?
-Something like this happened in Santa Cruz last year. The town was covered with seagulls.
-I'm leaving! Are you coming?
-I'm Donald Fettes.
-I'm very pleased to know you, Master Fettes.
-Mr. Gray?
-Dr. MacFarlane said I should pay you --
-I fear he may have to.
-But can't you give me any idea?
-There, Master Fettes. Sooner than we had expected. A stoke of luck one might say.
-Oh, you'll have ample opportunity -- ample -- Good morning, Dr. Fettes.
-You asked to see me, ma'am?
-I want you to help my little girl.
-I'm only a student.
-Georgina told me how kind you were to her. It gave me hope you might intercede for us with Dr. MacFarlane.
-I don't know that I can do that, Mrs. Marsh.
-I didn't mean it that way. I meant only that I am not in a position to ask favors.
-Ask this one favor --
-You have his promise, then?
--- pain -- and shock. She's brave enough, but I don't know about myself. Now that it seems so close, I wonder if I dare trust my child into any but God's hands. Maybe He knows best.
-Good morning, Mrs. Marsh.
-It's not because of Georgina -- because of Dr. MacFarlane's failure?
-Even so, I could never think of going on -- I've got to find some other profession.
-You must leave this house.
-I can't do that -- you heard MacFarlane.
-Save yourself. Master Fettes look at MacFarlane and be warned.
-He's a great doctor -- a great man --
-He could have been a great man -- a good man and a fine doctor, but there was always the shame of the old life and the old ways to hold him back -- and always Gray -- Gray to hound him to his death.
-You're over-excited, Mistress Cameron.
-I'm cold as ice.
-But Gray's only a cab driver -- a Resurrection Man who robs graves to make a bit of money now and again.
-If he were only that. The man's evil himself. Some day you'll know him as MacFarlane knows him -- for MacFarlane he was to Knox as you are to him. That brought him close to Gray, he roistered with him and drank with him. Aye, and Gray even brought him to my door and my love. There is all that between them and more
-But that's long since. Gray can't threaten him with that.
-Gray has no need to threaten. You remember the trial?
-I heard my parents speak of it in Thrums. It was a famous case.
-And did you hear them speak of the porter who testified against Burke?
-Aye.
-That porter was Gray and the gentleman of consequence who couldn't swallow the shame of it -- who took my last paltry savings to hire Gray --
-Listen to me, Fettes, I'm one part befuddled with drink, one part over-heels in love with MacFarlane, and one part fey. You're a lowlander, Fettes, and you have no way of knowing what we Highlanders call the second sight.
-I've heard of it.
-He's not home.
-Where can I find him?
-You don't went to find him. Your news will keep until I tell him.
-But I must tell him -- he must know of it. Please -- tell me where he is.
-There's no standing between a fool and his folly. If you must babble your news to him he's at the Fisherman's Tryst. It's the inn at Pennycuik. You can use MacFarlane's horse and gig to get there. He'll welcome the ride back.
-At Pennycuik. I know the inn. I can be there in an hour.
-Excuse me, Dr. MacFarlane --
-But, Doctor, I only wanted to speak to you --
-Dr. MacFarlane --
-I'm afraid I'll have to give up medicine, Dr. MacFarlane.
-You're made for a doctor, young man!
-I'm afraid I have to, sir. You see, my father is vicar at Thrums -- it's a small parish -- not much of a living --
-You're too good a man, Fettes -- I'll not let you quit. I'll make an assistant of you -- that'll pay your keep and your tuition, too --
-I thought only the best students were made assistants.
-Well? And are you not a good student?
-But Richardson?
-You know how we get the specimens we use for dissection?
-I don't think I can go on, sir.
-What the devil do you mean? You have your lodgings, a certain stipend -- I thought I had arranged everything for you --
-And that's why you don't want to be a doctor, Fettes?
-But this woman -- and her son --
-Dr. MacFarlane -- you remember the lady who came to see you yesterday -- the lady with the little girl?
-I remember her.
-She came again today. She wanted me to ask you if you would not break your rule and operate. She feels you are her only hope.
-It was about last night I wanted to talk to you -- about the operation on the little Marsh girl.
-You're a man of the world, Fettes, you wouldn't hold me to promise given in drink.
-But I -- well, you see, sir, I met Mrs. Marsh and told her.
-Really, Fettes, you irk me with your lack of understanding.
-But you did promise.
-Look here, Fettes. Not I nor anyone else knows enough about the spinal column and its intricacies to insure success in such an operation. I would have to study the matter. Have we any "subjects"?
-Wilmont used up the last spinal section.
-You see, it is completely out of the question.
-Yes, I suppose so.
-Every street singer with a cracked voice gives tongue to that one.
-Well --
-Gray killed her.
-We can't be sure of that.
-I wouldn't do that, Fettes. I wouldn't report it.
-I don't know that -- neither do you. This subject may have been an epileptic -- thrown a fit -- fallen out of bed -- cracked her skull and killed herself -- there is everything explained -- the bruise on her head --
-I can't believe that.
-But, I didn't ask him to kill.
-Here is where you must watch closely, gentleman -- closely -- it is the very heart of the matter --
-She's unconscious.
-I just saw Gray. What was he laughing at?
-He has his own idea of a joke. Perhaps his horse tickled him in the ribs.
-I've just been to see Mrs. Marsh. Georgina is doing splendidly. The incision has healed -- clean and fine -- but she doesn't seem to have any desire to walk.
-When she's ready you bring her to me -- I'll show her how.
-Dr. MacFarlane, I wonder if you know what happiness you've brought those people.
-I suppose one must pass through this purgatory to the heaven of being a good doctor.
-You can't -- can't! Stop trying to bribe her with childishness about white horses. Let the child stand and walk -- her spine's all right. I know it's all right.
-But she must want to stand. She must want to walk.
-Fettes, the more things are wrong, the more we must act as if everything were right. You must do with Joseph as you did with, the street singer -- complete dissection -- a proper entry in the book --
-No.
-What do you mean, Fettes?
-I'll have no more to do with it. I'll not put my neck into the noose, not even for your sake, Dr. MacFarlane.
-What's that you say?
-The little girl -- she couldn't walk far -- the muscles are too weak -- but she did stand and she took a step or two.
-I know it -- I know it -- The moment I was rid of him --
-What?
-See that, Fettes?
-A burial party -- poor people -- it's hard to bury a loved one on a rainy day when the churchyard is so cold and lonely.
-Glencorse -- that's a lonely cemetery, Fettes, not a soul around for miles.
-They'll be thinking of that, too.
-Tosh! Fettes! It's not their grief I'm worrying about -- I'm talking of our own end --
-You've no thought of going there?
-Did you think Gray was the only one who could handle a mattock and shovel? I've had some practice in the art.
-You couldn't do that, Doctor.
-I pass up no opportunities, I've a whole course of lectures in mind for you fellows. We'll need subjects to demonstrate. Come along.
-No.
-Where shall we put it? In the back?
-This is not a woman!
-It was a woman when we put her in.
-Are you a doctor, too?
-Not yet.
-What you really want to ask me is about my back, isn't it -- about where it hurts?
-Why, yes.
-Hear him?
-The white horse. The horse that is going to greet me when he sees me.
-Why do you want the white horse to bid you "good-day"?
-He was a nice horse.
-Of course -- I don't have friends. That's because I can't walk. I try to make myself used to it.
-Aye, but I still wonder how much.
-I want it --
-Don't you want to find the white horse, Georgina? You can't find him from a wheelchair. You have to walk and run to find him.
-I thought this was a school day.
-You'll not need that again, Georgina.
-He'll not leave the grave -- not since Wednesday last when we buried the lad.
-Not much danger here, ma'am, I wouldn't think -- right here in the heart of Edinburgh.
-They're uncommon bold, the grave robbers -- and the daft doctors who drive them on.
-I'm by way of being a medical myself.
-A doctor?
-Come, Toddy -- come. Sit down here with me.
-Don't call me that confounded name.
-Mr. Fettes and I have professional matters to discuss.
-I will not have you use that name to me.
-You're a teacher, eh? Maybe you're afraid to be a doctor, Toddy.
-Afraid of what?
-Afraid you are not as good a doctor perhaps as you make out to be.
-I am the best man for the job.
-You? Why? Since when have you become the protector of little children?
-I'm not concerned about the child, Toddy. It's you I'm thinking of, I'd like to see you prove that a lot of things I know haven't hurt Toddy MacFarlane any.
-I'll not do it, Gray.
-Oh, yes, you will. You'll do it to oblige Fettes and myself.
-No.
-It might be an interesting case.
-Toddy hates me.
-Don't call me that confounded name, I tell you.
-Now that wasn't a friendly thing I heard, Toddy. Not at all friendly.
-That has nothing to do with it. We've decided to do more lecturing and less dissection -- it's better for the students -- that's all there is to it.
-You know what you want and don't want -- so that's an end of business between us -- but we'll still be friends, Toddy. I'll be dropping by to see you and Meg once in a while -- for auld lang syne, you know.
-Oh, it's you, Gray. Well, come in. Sit down. Have a glass with me.
-You know something about the human body, Gray.
-I've had some experience.
-Then you can understand that the backbone is a lot of little blocks and those little blocks are all held together, so that it works like that whip of yours. You know that, don't you?
-I've never had it all explained that way to me by so learned a man.
-I set those blocks together, patched the muscles. I put the nerves where they should be -- I did it and I did it right -- and she won't walk --
-Oh, it's the bit of a girl Fettes was talking about.
-You can't build life like you put together blocks, Toddy.
-What are you talking about? I am an anatomist. I know the body. I know how it works.
-And you're a fool, Toddy -- and no doctor. It's only the dead ones that you know.
-I am a doctor. I teach medicine.
-Like Knox taught you? Like I taught you? In cellars and graveyards? Did Knox teach you what makes the blood flow?
-The heart pumps it.
-Did he tell you how thoughts come and how they go and why things are remembered and forgot?
-The nerve centers -- the brain --
-But what makes a thought start?
-In the brain, I tell you. I know.
-I am a doctor - a good doctor. I could make her walk, but she won't - she won't --
-Why should I be afraid of you? What are you holding over me?
-I'll tell you what, Toddy. It's because I ran down the streets with the mud and the stones around my ears and the mob yelling for my blood. It's because you were afraid to face it -- and you're still afraid.
-Aye, Toddy, there is something in what you say.
-There is much in what I say, Gray, and if you have any regard for your neck you'll leave now and stay away from my house, my school, and from me.
-What are you going here? Have I not told you --
-I brought you something tonight, MacFarlane -- an interesting specimen -- in very good condition.
-I've ordered nothing from you.
-This is a gift.
-I take no gifts from you.
-This is a gift you'll not return.
-Get out of here!
-Wait, Toddy. That's not hospitable. I want to discuss business.
-Gray, I must rid myself of you -- you've become a cancer -- a malignant, evil cancer -- rotting my mind.
-So, Toddy, you've made me a disease, eh?
-Surely you are not threatening an old friend, Toddy.
-Have another glass of something good, Toddy.
-I've drunk enough tonight.
-You're getting old, Gray, and it's a hard life driving a cab through these wet and windy streets of Edinburgh --
-I have other means of sustenance.
-What I was going to say is this -- wouldn't you be more comfortable at Leith in a neat little house?
-Would you bribe me to leave you be?
-I would make you rich.
-It wouldn't be half so much fun for me. Toddy, as to have you come here and beg --
-Well then -- I beg you -- I beseech you --
-But why, Gray? Why?
-Because it would be a hurt to me to see you no more, Toddy. You're a pleasure to me.
-A pleasure to torment me?
-I presume you shall. This won't be my last visit here.
-I want to speak to you alone. I saw something. I heard.
-What did you hear?
-You're welcome to my little nest, Joseph -- is it not? That's right -- you have something to say to me -- something very private.
-Yes.
-Can anyone hear what we say?
-Only Brother.
-You say you've come here on your own account? No one knows you are here?
-I have made you give me money, but you smile. Aren't you angry?
-You and I should work together.
-You mean we would sell the bodies to the doctors together? Dig them up?
-No digging Joseph. The churchyards are too well guarded. We will "Burke" them,
-Burke them?
-You are lately come to Scotland, Joseph?
-I come from Lisbon.
-"The ruffian dogs, the Hellish pair. The villain Burke, the meager Hare --"
-I never heard that song. But what did they do?
-But where did they get those people?
-"A good-day to you Madame Tosspot, and would you like a little glass of something before you take your rest? Come with me to my house and I'll make you my guest. You shall have quarts to drink if you like." Ah, how he cozened them.
-We could do that. But when he had them there, then what?
-I don't understand the song. Tell me plain how they did it.
-Was the paralysis immediate?
-No, Doctor. She seemed to get better, then about six months later she began to complain of pain in her back --
-How long after that was the paralysis complete?
-Nearly a year.
-Any attacks of pain since?
-Yes, Doctor.
-Is her pain sporadic or constant?
-It comes at intervals. They used to be months apart -- but they've been growing more frequent -- much more frequent.
-Child seems to take to the lad. What sort of an accident was it, Ma'am?
-A carriage overturned. My husband was killed and Georgina was hurt.
-How long ago?
-But can anything be done for her?
-Believe me, Madame, if I were only a doctor, I would undertake this operation at once. But I'm more dominie than doctor -- I've a school to run.
-But, Doctor, surely in a case like this -- a child -- a little child who can never walk or run --
-I regret it, Ma'am, but I have the responsibility of training thirty other doctors to attend a thousand children like your own.
-There's nothing I can say for one small child?
-I'm sorry, Doctor. Georgina's a good child -- a brave child -- you saw how she was during the operation -- but if she can't move, she can't move.
-But she must be able to move. Everything is in place.
-She would if she could.
-And why not? He's a good lad -- bright and able.
-Aye. He's a good lad. That's why I ask you, MacFarlane.
-You think it'll spoil the boy, eh? Was I not assistant to Knox?
-Aye --
-You're daft. What's Gray to me. He's only a man from whom I buy what I need when I need it -- the rest is forgotten.
-You may deny the devil, Toddy, but you'll not rid yourself of him by saying the devil is dead.
-Nonsense. You're a fey creature with mad ideas. But you have a wildness that holds me to you, lass.
-Crony indeed!
-Fettes -- where is Fettes?
-You're not going to Gray.
-You've been with Gray again.
-I hate that picture.
-Where are they?
-Can I get you something? A glass of water? A transfusion?
-Where are they? Last chance.
-around, or whatever the hell you're doing here. What are you doing here?
-I'm looking for my friends.
-How many innocent people did you leave dead back there?
-You sent them. I had no choice.
-It was one thing her dad rejected you. But when she did you lost it.
-You're wrong.
-Was that it? Well, ok.
-What's been holding me together is the hope that maybe you do go someplace. And I'll be seeing her again soon. Only what will I say? That I was too stupid to find the guy who killed her? That he's down here laughing?
-Tell her... we'll get him.
-We won't.
-Check and mate.
-Two down. Two to go.
-"Down?" Wait, don't tell me.
-You think I'm crazy.
-Lauren's father's involved. He bought the cops fancy cars, I don't know what else. It's a company called D-E-L-T. I think Lauren found out.
-What do they do that they had to kill her?
-I was hoping you'd find out.
-Leonard, Dutton, Erlich. They don't matter. I want the King.
-We're getting there. Because in his so-called construction job, Tommy makes a daily delivery to a place called "The Hole."
-The strip joint?
-Where is it? This place?
-I think we should get some support?
-That was a fucking hollow point!
-Think maybe knives do?
-Keep that thing away from me.
-Fuck! What do you want?
-A scar. On the arm. Of the man who planted this in Alex Corvis's car.
-You killed her. I saw it.
-Sssshhh. She's resting.
-Where the fuck did you come from?
-You lied at my trial.
-I don't know you, man.
-Hey. I said what I saw. Two kids arguing. A guy and a girl.
-You said you saw me with this. I never held it until today.
-One chance to tell the truth, Tommy. Who is the man with the scar? He planted this in my car.
-Wrong. Answer.
-What did they give you?
-They showed me pictures, what he did to her. Evidence. Said all I had to do was stand up there and not my head "yes."
-What did they give you?
-We're going to play a little game called "Who's got the Scar."
-What Scar? What fucking scar?
-You're him! You're Corvis! We fried your ass. You're dead, man!
-Fucking Zombie.
-The scar.
-I heard you were looking for this.
-You're the guy killed Dutton.
-Fuck. Me.
-Not my arm! What you fucking want?
-I want Lauren. I want my life back. I want... to know why.
-The scar. Which of you has it?
-Are you out of your fucking mind? We're going to die.
-How can you die if you're already dead?
-You're him. Corvis.
-I was a friend of your sister's.
-I know her friends.
-Yeah, no kidding.
-Your father gave them to both of you.
-And he's right over there by the way. What did you do to your face?
-Someone else did it.
-You're a friend of the guy who killed her, aren't you? You almost sound like him.
-He didn't kill her.
-How do you know?
-I know everything about your sister. I'll prove it to you.
-Daisy. How did you know?
-I told you, I knew your sister.
-You killed that cop Dutton.
-I know who you are. That's why you paint your face. To hide.
-I'm not hiding. I'm right here.
-I've been shot, and stabbed and thrown from a car and none of it hurt. But what you're doing now, does. I don't know why.
-My dad was right! He said you'd ruin her life.
-From the bonfire over there. Look at it.
-No! Why are you haunting me?
-This is where it happened. Right over here.
-Are you ok?
-When Lauren was missing the police came to our house. They said they were looking for her, right? But I know now they had her, and the reason they brought her here and knew the could blame it on you...
-No...
-Erin. It's not your fault.
-It's all my fault. Oh God. I wish I were dead.
-No. You don't.
-This tree. Here's where it happened.
-... took everything I ever cared about. Left me with nothing.
-So you're going to kill him?
-You know what Lauren and I were fighting about that night? She had a secret, wouldn't tell me...
-My father.
-All I knew, she was pulling away. It made me crazy.
-I wish I could hate him but I can't. He said he'd never hurt either of us, and I know it's true and... I'm going back.
-It's ok, it's ok...
-It's not. I can't take it.
-Erin. Who?
-... it connects you to me...
-In the woods you said you had nothing. But you wouldn't, and I wouldn't if there's some way you don't have to go. Please. At least not right away.
-I thought we had an understanding. I thought we understood that discretion is paramount.
-Yeah, we do.
-Erlich gimping around in his goddamn hot rod is not discreet. I've got reporters asking me how much he made. I've got the entire force looking at this case now.
-I know.
-You know.
-Tommy Leonard. The eyewitness in the Corvis case.
-Some hooker phoned it in. There was a riot at his apartment yesterday.
-Guy dressed for Halloween?
-They botched the execution.
-Could say that.
-Fucking crow.
-How about sign of a big black bird?
-Cause if you're losing your mind, I got a right to know.
-Just don't believe everything you see.
-Doubt is a motherfucker.
-Maybe we had a case of that here. Get me my kit.
-Do you believe in ghosts, Nathan? Because there's a ghost threatening us.
-You mean Alex.
-Because you never accepted that what happened to her was an accident.
-An accident, Nathan.
-I watched her grow up. Just like you. I know how her mind worked. She kept snooping around because she was worried about you. What you'd gotten yourself into. So stop blaming me. And blame yourself.
-I do. Every day.
-Anything wrong?
-What's with your friend there?
-She's... sick. Actually she never had Mai Tais before.
-But you, you've had them.
-If you had a license, I bet I'd have seen it by now. How old are you? Fifteen?
-You want me to walk a straight line?
-I want you... to bend over.
-Look, can I just call a cab?
-Why are there so many?
-I want to take this to Lauren. She'd want it.
-Honey. I just can't.
-Stay in the car. I'll only take a second.
-Erin. I know you think she's been talking to you.
-Erin!
-What were you yelling about?
-This guy said he was a friend of Lauren's. He had like paint all over his face.
-Are you ok?
-What is it?
-What? What is it?
-Lauren called me that when we were little. Daisy. No one knew but us.
-Honey. It's doesn't mean anything. It's not a message.
-That guy in the cemetery today said he knew everything about Lauren.
-It still doesn't mean...
-I think I dropped an earring.
-You're in with them.
-It's not what you think.
-You killed her!
-No.
-Stay away from me! Stay away!
-They killed her because she found out.
-About you.
-Sweetheart...
-I would never hurt you or Lauren. Never. Believe me.
-I don't believe you.
-Please. Come inside.
-You should see it, Professor Barnhardt! You should go out and see it for yourself!
-Thanks -- I'm enjoying it right here.
-The whole city has stopped. People are running around like ants!
-What about the people who are coming to the meeting tonight? Have they all arrived?
-I talked to most of them this morning... They were all very curious about the meeting.
-Good. Did you speak to our friend Mr. Carpenter?
-He'll be there at 8:30.
-Tell me, Hilda -- does all this frighten you -- does it make you feel insecure?
-Yes, sir -- it certainly does!
-You wrote this?
-It was a clumsy way to introduce myself -- but I understand you're a difficult man to see. I thought you'd have the solution by this time.
-Yes -- that will reproduce the first- order terms. But what about the effect of the other terms?
-Almost negligible... With variation of parameters, this is the answer.
-How can you be so sure? Have you tested this theory?
-I find it works well enough to get me from one planet to another. I understand you've called a meeting to study our space ship.
-As though unsure of what he's heard) Yes -- yes, I have.
-You have faith, Professor Barnhardt
-It isn't faith that makes good science, Mr. Klaatu. Its curiosity. Sit down, please. I have several thousand questions to ask you.
-I would like to explain something of my mission here.
-That was my first question.
-It was my intention to discuss this officially -- with all the nations of the Earth -- but I was not allowed the Opportunity. I have come to realize since that your mutual fears and suspicions are merely the normal reactions of a primitive society. We know from scientific observation that you have discovered a rudimentary kind of atomic energy. We also know that
-Yes -- that is true.
-In the hands of a mature civilization, these would not be considered weapons of aggression. But in the hands of your people-- We've observed your aggressive tendencies, and we don't trust you with such power.
-If you mean that you are afraid of us--
-We want to be sure you don't make -- let us say -- an unfortunate mistake. We know the potentiality of these developments and we are disturbed to find them in the hands of children... You see, we've had atomic energy for five thousand of your years. We discarded instruments like this many centuries ago. So long as you were limited to fighting among
-These other planets -- do they have peace and security?
-We had our atomic wars -- thousands of years ago. After that we fought with bows and arrows. Then, slowly, we learned that fighting is no solution -- that aggression leads to chaos.
-We scientists understand this. Even we primitive scientists. What exactly is the nature of your mission, Mr. Klaatu?
-I came here to warn you that, by threatening danger, your planet faces danger -- very grave danger. I am prepared, however, to offer a solution.
-Would you care to be more specific?
-I gather that your efforts on the official level were not entirely successful.
-I come to you as a last resort -- and I confess that my patience is wearing thin. Must I take drastic action in order to get a hearing?
-What -- what sort of action do you mean?
-Would you be willing to meet with the group of scientists I am calling together?. Perhaps you could explain your mission to them, and they in turn could present it to their various peoples.
-It is not enough to have men of science. We scientists are too easily ignored -- or misunderstood. We must get important men from every field. Educators -- philosophers -- church leaders -- men of vision and imagination -- the finest minds in the world.
-I leave that in your hands.
-You'd have no objection to revealing yourself at this meeting?
-No -- not at all.
-What about your personal safety in the meantime? What about the Army -- and the police?
-My name is Carpenter and I'm a very earthy character living in a respectable boarding house.
-I'm afraid I can't offer you any real protection. I have no influence in cases of inter-planetary conspiracy.
-I'm sure I'll be quite safe until the meeting.
-One thing, Mr. Klaatu. Suppose this group should reject your proposals. What is the alternative?
-Such power exists?
-The people who came to the meeting must be made to realize this. They must understand what is at stake. You mentioned a demonstration of force--
-Yes.
-Would such, a demonstration be possible before the meeting?
-Yes -- of course.
-Something that would dramatize for them and for their people the seriousness of the situation. Something that would affect the entire planet.
-That can easily be arranged.
-I wouldn't want you to harm anybody -- or destroy anything.
-Why don't you leave it to me? I'll think of something.
-Maybe a little demonstration.
-Bet he is, Mom. Bet he's out looking for that space man.
-Can I help you look for the space man? Can I? I know what he looks like! He's got a square head -- and, three great big eyes!
-Hi Mom!
-Did you have a nice day, dear?
-Come on, Bobby. Time to go to bed.
-Mom -- why does Mr. Carpenter have to go down to the police station?
-We sure had fun today. We saw the space ship and we went to see Professor Barnhardt -- and--
-Professor Barnhardt.
-Yeah, sure. Mom, do I have to go to school tomorrow?
-Of course, dear.
-Go to bed, darling. You can finish that in the morning.
-Bobby -- I think it would be better if we didn't see quite so much of Mr. Carpenter
-Gee, why, Mom? He's my best friend... And he's awful good in arithmetic. He even helps Professor Barnhardt.
-Did you and Mr. Carpenter really go to see Professor Barnhardt?
-Mom -- is there something wrong with Mr. Carpenter?
-What do you mean, dear?
-I mean -- on account of that policeman last night. You think he's a bank robber, maybe? Or a gangster?
-Bobby--! What are you doing up at this hour?
-I couldn't go to sleep, Mom. I had to tell you!
-Tell me what?
-I followed Mr. Carpenter -- right after you left -- and, gee, Mom, where do you think he went? Right into the space ship!
-Now, Bobby, just a minute--
-Honest, Mom, I saw him. It just opened up and he walked right in. And that great big iron man was moving around!
-Bobby, you've been dreaming again.
-Now think back hard. You didn't follow Mr. Carpenter at all, did you? You haven't even been out of the house.
-Yes, I have!
-He gave these to you?
-Gee, Mom, do you think maybe he's a diamond smuggler?
-Oh, boy -- can I, Mom?
-Yes, dear. Come on now. Bobby, your shoes are soaking!
-Are you an FBI man?
-Bobby -- who's the greatest man in America today?
-Gee -- I don't know... The space man, I guess.
-Well -- Professor Barnhardt, I guess. He's the greatest scientist in the world.
-He lives here in Washington, doesn't he?
-Sure. Right near where my mother works.
-Where is that?
-Boy, I'll bet he's strong. I bet he could knock down a whole building.
-Gee, I'd like to get inside and see how it works. What do you think makes it go?
-Well -- atomic power, I would imagine.
-I thought that was only for bombs.
-No. It's for a lot of other things, too.
-You think it can go faster than an F- 36?
-Maybe four thousand miles an hour. And outside the Earth's atmosphere a good deal faster.
-Gee! How could they make a landing?
-You think they'll ever find him?
-I don't know, Bobby. I'm inclined to doubt it.
-Mr. Carpenter -- what does velocity mean?
-Bobby -- I have an idea. Let's go see Professor Barnhardt and find out how he talks.
-You're just kidding, aren't you?
-Wouldn't you like to meet him?
-Well, sure I would, but -- Aw, I'll bet you'd be scared.
-What does that mean?
-It's a problem in celestial mechanics.
-Bet he's the only one in the world knows the answer.
-Did all these people die in wars?
-Sure. Didn't you ever hear of Arlington Cemetery?
-No -- I'm afraid not.
-Mr. Carpenter" -- you don't seem to know about anything.
-I'll tell you, Bobby -- I've been away for a long time. Very far away.
-Is it different where you've been? Don't they have places like this?
-Go to the movies.
-All right.
-No foolin'? Will you?
-I've got some money. My mother gave me two dollars.
-Gee -- those look like diamonds!
-Some places that's what people use for money. They're easy to carry -- and they don't wear out.
-Bet they're worth about a million dollars.
-Would you give me your two dollars for a couple of them?
-Let's not say anything to my mother about this, Mr. Carpenter.
-Why not, Bobby?
-Mrs. Benson -- this is Mr. Brady.
-We certainly did.
-Aw, gee -- we didn't finish our story.
-We'll finish it tomorrow... Goodnight, Bobby.
-All you have to remember is, first find the common denominator -- then subtract.
-Thanks, Mr. Carpenter.
-Bobby -- have you a flashlight?
-What do you want it for, Mr. Carpenter?
-The skeletal structure is completely normal. Same for the major organs -– heart, liver, spleen, kidneys.
-And the lungs are the same as ours. Must mean a similar atmosphere -- similar pressure. How old do you think he is?
-Oh, I'd say forty-five.
-He told me this morning when I examined him. He's seventy-eight.
-I don't believe it.
-Their life expectancy is a hundred and thirty.
-How does he explain that?
-My name is Harley -- Secretary to the President I've been told that you speak our language -- that your name is Mr. Klaatu.
-Just Klaatu.
-The President asked me to convey his deepest apologies for what has happened. We all feel--
-I'm sure I don't have to point out that your arrival was something of a surprise. Had you been traveling long?
-About five months -- your months.
-You must have come a long way.
-Naturally we're very curious to know where it is you come from.
-It's rather difficult for us to think of another planet as a neighbor.
-I'm afraid, in the present situation you'll have to learn to think that way.
-The present situation?
-I mean the reasons for my coming here.
-We're very curious about that, too. Would you care to talk about it?
-I'd be glad to. Not now, of course -- with you alone.
-Perhaps you'd rather discuss it personally with the President--
-This is not a personal matter, Mr. Harley. It concerns all the people on your planet.
-I -- I'm not sure I understand--
-I want to meet with representatives from all the nations of the Earth.
-I'm afraid that would be a little awkward. It's -- it's completely without precedent. And there are practical considerations -- the time involved -- the enormous distances.
-I traveled 250 million miles. What about your United Nations?
-You know about the United Nations?
-We've been monitoring your radio broadcasts for a good many years. That's how we learned your languages. Lately, we've been getting your television also.
-You must have a rather strange impression of us.
-I'm sure you recognize from our broad- casts the evil forces that have produced the tension in our world. Surely you would agree--
-I am not concerned, Mr. Harley, with the internal affairs of your planet. I consider that to be your business -- not mine.
-I was only hoping to make you understand.
-My mission here is not to solve your petty squabbles. It concerns the existence of every last creature who lives on Earth.
-Perhaps if you could explain a little--
-We could call a special meeting of the General Assembly... But of course the UN doesn't represent all of the nations.
-Then why not a meeting of all the Chiefs of State?
-I will make that recommendation to the President. I must tell you in all honesty that I'm extremely dubious about the results.
-Apparently I'm not as cynical about Earth's people as you are.
-Good afternoon. I'm glad to see you up and around.
-Thank you... Have you any news?
-I tried to make you understand. The suspicions -- the jealousies -- the mistrust-- Surely you realize that my government has done everything in its power--
-It's not your government I'm thinking about. It's your world.
-Now that you understand the situation more clearly, perhaps you'd like to discuss the matter with the President
-I will not speak to any one nation or group of nations. I don't intend to add my contribution to your childish jealousies and suspicions.
-Our problems are very complex, Mr. Klaatu. You mustn't judge us too harshly.
-I can judge only by what I see.
-Your impatience is quite understandable.
-I am impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
-Before making any decisions, I think I should get out among your people -- become familiar with the basis for these strange, unreasoning attitudes.
-We're all set. I picked up some sandwiches and put gas in the car. And the radio's still busted, so me can forget about the space man for today.
-There's only one thing -- I haven't been able to arrange for anyone to stay with Bobby. I don't suppose we could take him with us?
-Well, we could--
-It was a wonderful day.
-You still haven't answered my question.
-You know how I feel, Tom. I just want to think it over.
-The boss is leaving for Chicago tomorrow. If I could tell him I was getting married -- with two dependents--
-You're a good salesman -- but I've got to think about it.
-Hello--
-You ready?
-I will be in just a minute.
-The picture starts at eight-fifty.
-I was talking to Mr. Carpenter.
-Oh, Tom, that was awful.
-He's not there. But look what I found in his room
-Is it real?
-I wonder if we ought to--
-Bobby and I have had enough excitement for tonight.
-You think it's all right for you to stay here?
-I'm at Bleeker's getting an appraisal on that diamond. I thought we might have lunch together.
-Tom -- I've been trying to get you all afternoon--
-I've got some terrific news about your friend, Mr. Carpenter.
-What about him?
-Helen, he's the man from the space ship! I had that diamond checked at three different places. Nobody on earth's ever seen a stone like that! After what Bobby told us, that's enough for me. Why is it nobody knows anything about him? Why hasn't he got any money?
-All right, Tom -- it's true. I know it's true.
-How do you know?
-Never mind about that. You've got to promise me you won't say a word to anybody.
-Are you crazy? After what happened today?
-You don't understand. You don't realize how important it is.
-Important? Of course it's important. The point is we can do something about it.
-That's what I'm trying to tell you. We mustn't do anything about it. Believe me, Tom, I know what I'm talking about.
-He's a menace to the whole world! It's our duty to turn him in.
-But he isn't a menace! He told me what he came here for.
-He told you... Don't be silly, honey -- just because you like the guy. You realize what this'd mean for us? I'd be the biggest man in the country. I could write my own ticket.
-Is that what you're thinking about?
-Tom, you mustn't -- ! You don't know what you're doing! It isn't just you and Mr. Carpenter. The rest of the world, is involved!
-You'll feel different when you see my picture in the papers.
-I feel different right now.
-You wait and see. You're going to marry a big hero!
-I don't know how to thank you.
-Everyone seems so--
-Bobby's the only person I know who isn't -- Jittery.
-He has his homework to keep him occupied.
-He's a fine boy, Mrs. Benson.
-Naturally I think so.
-Mr. Carpenter -- this is none of my business, but -- why did that detective come here last night?
-Excuse me. I was just going up to my room.
-Mr. Carpenter, I-- Goodnight.
-Oh -- hello--
-May I see you for a minute?
-I -- I was Just going to lunch.
-I saw Bobby this morning before he went to school--
-Yes--?
-I want to know what he told you last night.
-I -- I didn't really pay much attention-- Bobby has such an active imagination.
-What is it you want?
-What happened?
-Just twelve.
-We'll be stuck here for a little while -- about thirty minutes.
-We could try pushing the other buttons. I have a flashlight in my purse.
-Why not?
-You hold great hope for this meeting.
-It must be twelve-thirty.
-Where are you going now?
-No, wait a minute -- there's someone else.
-Who?
-I'm sure Barnhardt can arrange to hide me until the meeting.
-Where is the meeting going to be?
-It's only a few blocks to Barnhardt's.
-I'm worried about Gort. I'm afraid of what he might do -- if anything should happen to me.
-Gort? But he's a robot. I mean -- without you, what could he do?
-There's no limit to what he could do. He could destroy the Earth. If anything should happen to me, you must go to Gort. You must give him this message: "Klaatu barada nikto." Please repeat that.
-"Klaatu barada nikto."
-Hello.
-I -- I thought you were--
-I was.
-You mean he has the power of life and death?
-No -- that is a power reserved to the Almighty Spirit.
-This technique, in certain cases, can re-stimulate life for a limited period. It's a refinement of scientific principles known to your own people.
-But how -- how long--?
-We'll miss you very much -- Bobby and I. He won't have anyone to play with.
-He'll have you -- and Tom.
-No. That's all finished.
-I'm sorry.
-How dare you write on that blackboard! Do you realize the Professor has been working on that problem for weeks?
-He'll catch on to it in no time now.
-How did you get in here? And what do you want?
-We came to see Professor Barnhardt.
-Well, he's not here. And he won't be back till this evening. I think you'd better leave now. Unruffled, Klaatu turns to the desk and scribbles something on a scratch pad. He tears off the piece of paper and hands it to Hilda.
-Is it worth anything?
-I have never seen such a stone. Will you please tell me where it came from?
-That's what I wanted you to tell me.
-You sure about that?
-Would you like to sell it?
-No -- no, thanks.
-The Professor's secretary says she found you in Barnhardt's room, making marks on his blackboard.
-Oh, I see. He was having trouble and you were helping him out.
-That's right.
-I suppose you know that Barnhardt does a lot of secret work for the Army.
-In this case the secret wouldn't be worth much. He doesn't know the answer himself.
-But I suppose you know the answer.
-Your name's Carpenter -- that right? Any identification, Mr. Carpenter? Driver's license -- social security number?
-No -- I'm afraid not.
-Well, how do I know who you are?
-Okay -- book him and get him fixed up. Looks like everybody's goin' nuts.
-They would have killed this man?
-People get hysterical enough, they do anything. Look, Mr. Carpenter -- if you can't identify yourself, I got to send you over to the Army.
-How long will that take?
-May I suggest that you call the Professor?
-Just passing through Santa Carla?
-I don't like horror comics.
-How do you like Santa Carla?
-Yeah, you think we just work in a comic book store for our dad, huh?
-We're fighters for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
-I don't like horror comics.
-Think of this more as a survival manual... there's our number on the back, and pray that you never need to call us.
-All day.
-Can't stand light?
-Salt sticks to the bottom of his feet.
-Yeah.
-Why not?
-He's my brother.
-They wouldn't be out in the daytime.
-<u>I'll</u> have to drive!
-We don't ride with vampires.
-Burn rubber does not mean <u>warp</u> <u>speed</u>!
-They're gaining on us!
-Well... we blew Plan A.
-Time to activate Plan B.
-We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in this town for a long time.
-Santa Carla has become a haven for the undead.
-All together?
-Okay. Where's Nosferatu?
-The Prince of Darkness.
-The nightcrawler. The bloodsucker.
-Should I run him through?
-Shut up!
-We unraveled in the face of the enemy!
-They're looking at us.
-Good.
-Did you see that sucker burn?!
-Man, we totally annihilated his night-stalkin' ass!
-Two down and two to go.
-<u>Four</u> to go.
-Whattaya mean?
-Those two we brought back with us. The girl and the kid. I don't trust 'em. I say we terminate 'em while we can.
-Death to all vampires!
-Maximum body-count.
-We are awesome monster-bashers!
-The meanest!
-We still going?
-Honda 250, huh?
-That's right.
-C'mon, Star. Climb on.
-I can't beat a Triumph.
-We were gonna grab some food.
-So how do you like those maggots, Michael?
-What?...
-Don't! Stop!
-I'm my own man.
-What's going' on?
-Where is she?!
-Hey, take it easy.
-Where's Star, David?!
-What is this, David?
-Where you going?
-For a ride.
-With him?
-C'mon, Michael. I want to go.
-Leave him alone.
-Look.
-You can't kill me, Star.
-I will, David!
-And these Archies should be over here with the Richie Rich's.
-Where the hell are you from, Kryton???
-Or a vampire.
-Are you guys sniffing old newsprint or something?
-This is just our cover. We're dedicated to a higher purpose.
-Bad breath? Long fingernails?
-Get yourself a good sharp stake and drive it through his heart.
-I have something to tell you guys. Not only is my own brother showing systems of being a vampire... but now I'm convinced my mother's <u>dating</u> one!
-That is very probable. What's your reasoning?
-I wish they were vampires so I could nuke them in their hearts.
-He's not glowing.
-He's telling the truth! Aren't you, Michael?
-Just so you know: If you try to stop us, or vamp-out in any way, I'll stake you without thinking twice about it.
-What's that smell!?
-I thought they'd be in coffins.
-Oh, no...
-What?
-No, Nanook! Quiet!
-We don't have one yet. And we only have two and a half hours to come up with one.
-What happens in tow and a half hours?
-Of course not!
-David.
-I don't want names! Just lead me to him. Where's their nest?
-I said, <u>I'll take you there</u>. Nobody's going near Star without me.
-Don't go out there! Stop him!
-Lucy, you're the only woman I ever knew didn't improve her situation by getting divorced.
-Ouch, my hair...
-I can't sleep with the closet door open, either. Not even a crack. Your father doesn't mind, though. It could be wide open for all he cared. I think one of the reasons I divorced him was because he never believed... in the horror... of the <u>closet monster</u>!
-Dad! Don't sneak up on people like that!
-Smells good. When do we eat?
-I told Max eight o'clock.
-Max? You men we're having company again?
-'Again'? Dad... you haven't had company in this house since Mom died eight years ago.
-... And stay outta here.
-You have a T.V.?
-Thanks, Grandpa...
-Grandpa, stop doin' the Indian Walk!
-Gotta keep in practice. It's a dyin' art.
-Good!
-Whatcha doin' over here?
-Oh... I was just... having a look at your truck. What's all that wood in there for?
-Been fixin' to build me fence one of these days. Bought all the materials, then put it off... for about ten years. Well, one more day won't hurt. Wanna go into town with me?
-Are we havin' fun or what?
-I thought we were goin' into town.
-Grandpa, the Widow Johnson called. She said to pick her up a seven instead of eight.
-Did we have a date tonight?
-I guess so. She said not to be late.
-Hi... I'm Laddie.
-I had the dream again about <u>them</u>.
-Who, Laddie?
-I know it was them, Star. I'm sure of it. He was working in the yard -- hammering something. The yard was big with lots of grass. There was no boardwalk and no ocean. She was bringing him something cold to drink... and had red hair. I was there, too. And a dog -- but I don't know its name. I was running and
-Laddie... you can <u>still</u> remember. You can still remember home.
-It was a dream, Star.
-You didn't tell David?
-No. Just you.
-You like Michael.
-I like Michael.
-Still mad at me?
-For what.
-He looks dead.
-He's just a deep sleeper.
-It's early. Why do we have to go home?
-Bring your own wheels tomorrow night and you can stay as long as you want... well 'til eleven thirty maybe.
-I'll hitch.
-See you later.
-I get off in another twenty minutes. I thought maybe we'd all get a bite together.
-Michael, are you still in bed?
-No. I'm up.
-Michael, will you do me a favor this evening? Will you stay home with Sam tonight? I'm meeting Max for dinner after work.
-I watch him all day. The only time I have more myself is at night. Let Grandpa watch him.
-Okay?
-Sure.
-Does that mean we are, or we aren't?
-We are...
--- If there's a girl, we could talk about her.
-I'm tired now.
-Wait a minute, kiddo.
-Max is coming for dinner, Michael. I'd like you to meet him.
-Can't. Got plans of my own.
-There's only three weeks left of summer, Michael. Things are going to change around here when school starts.
-I <u>didn't</u> invite you in this time!
-Michael!...
-We're getting close...
-What's that smell?
-Ocean air!
-Smells like something died.
-Mom, there's an amusement park right on the beach!
-That's the boardwalk, Sam.
-Tell them to get something to eat.
-I thought we were poor.
-When you ran away from home, hitch- hiked to Berkeley, spent the night in Golden Gate Park and begged for spare change in the morning?
-You've heard this story before?
-Help me, Mom. Help.
-He met a girl.
-I guess no one cares what I got a job.
-Lights out, Sam.
-Sam. Is everything all right?
-Mom. I think we've got to have a long talk about something?
-What's wrong? Tell me.
-Sam! What happened!? You had me scared to death. Are you all right?
-Where's Michael?
-Can I sleep in here with you tonight?
-In here?
-Do you mind? It was a real scary comic.
-These are my dinner guests. Edgar and Alan. The Frog Brothers.
-Ah... I didn't know you were having guests...
-Well if we're in your way we can just eat peanut butter out of the jar in the kitchen.
-Nanook, stop breathin' on me.
-Oh, no. Now what?
-What did you say?
-Vampires, Mom! Everywhere! You've got to tell the police! The newspapers! The TV stations! They'll listen to you. They'll believe you... you're a <u>mom</u>!
-Not funny, Sam!
-This is not a joke. They know that we know about them. They're coming to the house as soon as it gets dark!
-Stop it, Sam. Stop it right now!
-But, Mom...
-Not another word! I can't believe you're doing this. I'm going to see Max tonight and you're trying to ruin it for me again.
-No, I'm not...
-There's nothing wrong with Max. I don't know why you don't --
-Ohmygod...
-Mom!
-You've got a generous nature. I like that in a person. My name is Max.
-Lucy.
-So what can I help you find tonight, Lucy? We've got it all. Best selection in Santa Carla.
-I'm not looking for a tape. What I need is --
--- a job.
-Say hello to Thorn.
-You're cute, Max.
-Not impressed, are you?
-So, I've met the one woman on the planet who's going to hold my success against me.
-You seem like a terrific guy, Max, and I'm grateful for the job...
-But I don't think it's what you really want to do, is it?
-I guess if I had my choice, I'd like to do something that involves children. Work with kids in some way. Teenagers, maybe. And Santa Carla seems to be full of them.
-Yeah. Runaways, mostly. They come from all over. Attracted by the boardwalk and the ocean. Lucy... listen I know I have no right to ask you this... but don't look for another job just yet... I mean besides being the best employee I have... I think you're cute.
-Is it okay for the guest to see the food before the dinner?
-You're thinking of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding.
-This looks terrific, Lucy.
-Max! What's wrong?
-I'm really sorry, Max.
-Our batting average isn't very good is it? So far we're zero for two.
-I don't understand Sam. He's just not like this.
-Boys Sam's age need a good deal of discipline, or they walk all over you.
-He doesn't walk all over me.
-Maybe this is the night where everything finally goes right for a change.
-Something the matter?
-No, no. Just worrying about my boys -- as usual.
-Let me tell you something about boys. They're like weeds. They grow best when they're ignored.
-I thought you said they needed discipline?
-Max... what are you talking about?
-Will somebody please tell me what this is all about!?
-How about a little Parmesan cheese on that?
-Does it burn?
-I am?
-But you passed the test!
-Michael invited me in. Never invite a vampire into your house. It renders you powerless.
-Are you following me?
-Well, I...
-Well... yeah. Sure.
-Okay. Talk.
-Hi...
-What's your name?
-Star.
-Oh. Your folks, too, huh?
-What do you mean?
-Ex-hippies. My mom was one. I came this close to being called Moon Child, or Moon Beam or something. But Star's great. I <u>like</u> Star.
-Me, too.
-I'm Michael.
-I guess you're new around here.
-Are you hungry? Wanna get something to eat?
-Ouch.
-I wouldn't have given my Mom such a hard time about moving here if I'd known I was going to meet you.
-I used to fight with my family all the time... just got fed up and ran away.
-Now you and David...
-No. They've made me one of them, but I miss my family.
-Let's go see them.
-I have to talk to you. Please wake up.
-Have to sleep. Have to sleep, Michael.
-When?
-I have to talk to you. Can I come up?
-Do you know where David took me tonight, Star? Do you?!
-Yes... and I'm to blame for it. If you hadn't met me... if I hadn't liked you... I tried to warn you...
-That night in the cave -- that wasn't wine they gave me to drink... it was blood! David's blood. I'm one of them, Star! I'm just like them!
-Not yet... You're like Laddie and me... Half-vampires... You're not a full vampire until you've made your first kill... You were supposed to be mine... but I couldn't, Michael.
-Why not?
-Because I love you...
-Then it's not too late for us...
-It's not too late for you to be saved... but each night... it becomes harder and harder for me to resist killing...
-I know, I've felt it...
-David's looking for me... I have to go.
-You've got to put this on.
-Take laddie.
-Huh?
-They'll be coming for Laddie and me, won't they?
-It's gone. I feel it!
-What!? He <u>can</u> and I <u>can't</u>?! No fair!!
-This is kind of a cool place.
-I'm so excited I just can't hide it. I'm about to lode control and I think I like it.
-Grandpa does not own a T.V. Have you noticed? There's no T.V. Santa Carla has no malls, no Cineplexes and now I won't even have MTV. I will not know anything hip happening anymore.
-Hey, Sam, we're flat broke.
-This room is mine.
-I was here first.
-You're beautiful.
-Where are we going?
-Nowhere.
-Then what's the rush? You're chasing that girl, why don't you just admit it? I'm at the mercy of your sex glands!
-Mom, you hitched all the way to Berkeley once, remember?
-Do I have to do this?
-Go away.
-You're supposed to watch me and entertain me, and make me appreciate the brief but happy years of childhood.
-What did <u>you</u> do last night? You look wasted.
-You don't suppose Grandpa's an alien, do you?
-What would that make Mom?
-Did you spill something?
-No. Why?
-I told you it was pretty weird Chinese food.
-Wanna go to the comic book store?
-Mom's home?...
-I'm making you a sandwich.
-Lose the earring, Michael. It's not happening. It's just not happening.
-Piss off.
-Michael?
-What happened, Michael!?
-Nanook...
-What about Nonook? What have you done to Nanook?! What have you done to my dog, you asshole?!
-What did you to do him, Michael? Why did he bite you?
-What??
-We've got to stick together, Sam. You've got to help me.
-What about Mom?
-No! We can't tell Mom! Please, Sam. Don't tell her.
-I don't know, Michael. This is not like breaking a lamp or getting a 'D'.
-It's that girl from the boardwalk. Is she one of them?
-Star.
-Who are you calling?
-Michael! Get behind the wheel.
-What's the matter?
-Sixteen.
-What do you want from us?
-Pretty nasty out, Mac. Thirty-five knots.
-All right... Box of dynamite... box of thermite... three shotguns... box of flares... two flare guns... thirty cans gasoline... and a case of alcohol.
-Maybe dinner.
-Dogs don't eat each other.
-Where these tracks headed?
-What do you mean "got" to the dog?
-Clark, did you notice anything strange about that dog? Just anything at all? Any little thing?
-That night?
-Yeah.
-What was he doing in the rec room?
-Well, after I worked on him -- thought I'd let him rest. Left the room for a bit. When I came back, he was gone.
-Well, where was he? Where did he go?
-Don't know. Looked for him for a bit... couldn't find him.
-How long were you with the dog? Alone, I mean?
-What the hell you looking at me like that for?
-Was that dog, the Norwegian dog?
-Couldn't make much of it myself.
-I've asked him to try and locate the site. Okay with you?
-Sure. You think there's a connection?
-Look, I know it's hard to believe...
-So what's our problem?
-... It could have gotten to somebody...
-Anybody sick?
-Listen to me, Garry. Please...
-Don't you understand?! That Thing didn't want to become a dog...
-Damn you, Blair! You've already got everybody half-hysterical around here.
-You can't let anybody leave!
-Whatever that Norwegian dog was... It... It was capable of changing its form... ... when it attacked our dog... it somehow was able to digest... or... absorb it... and in the process shaped its own cells to imitate our dog's cells exactly... ... This for instance isn't dog at all -- it's imitation... We got to it before it had time to finish or...
-Finish what?
-What you doin'?
-Nobody's getting in here. You can tell them all that!
-Now why'd you go and...
-And I don't want any more food with sedatives in it. I know what you're up to. Don't think I don't. And if anyone tries to get in here -- I've got rope. I'll hang myself before it gets to me.
-Too damn dangerous.
-... Can't you see...? If one cell of this Thing got out it could imitate every living thing on Earth. Nothing could stop it! Nothing!
-Look Blair, maybe you're right about this. But we've got to be rational. We've got to talk this over. I'm unarmed and I'm coming in.
-How you doin', old boy?
-I don't know who to trust.
-Know what you mean, Blair. Trust is a tough thing to come by these days. Just trust in the Lord.
-Watch Clark.
-What?
-I've changed my mind... I'd... I'd like to come back inside... I don't want to stay out here any more... Funny things... I hear funny things out here.
-Have you come across Fuchs?
-Fuchs...? No, it's not Fuchs... You must let me back in... I won't harm anyone... I promise...
-Happens all the time, man. They're falling out of the skies like flies. Government knows all about it... Chariots of the Gods, man... They practically own South America. I mean they taught the Incas everything they knew...
-Childs, where's that magneto from Chopper One?
-What?
-Auxiliary light cables...? Been cut.
-Somebody broke in.
-Childs!!
-Let go of me...
-Don't get near 'em. The plants! They're alive. Those things can imitate anything...
-We got to burn 'em.
-Why didn't it imitate Fuchs? Isn't that its number -- to get more recruits.
-Could have been anytime. Anywhere.
-Let's open it.
-Let's open it. Now...
-Why you so damn anxious to let him in here...
-He's so close. Maybe our best chance to blow him away.
-You catch anything he was saying?
-I suppose... well, it's possible someone might have lifted it from me. But...
-That key ring of yours is always hooked to your belt. Now how could somebody get to it without you knowing?
-I said where? Where'd you go?!
-Was dark... find a light...
-Lighten your load, sucker. You ain't the judge and executioner around here!
-Childs! That a fuse?
-Cut that out, Copper. Nauls? What's taking you?!
-I'm working it! Nothing's happening!
-That's impossible, man! Okay, Clark, out of the john where I can see you!
-It's shorted out or something!
-Somebody's taken it. I can't find it!
-Cut him loose of the line up by his shack.
-Cut him loose?
-What's happening?
-Torch it over there!
-The dogs?
-MacReady!
-Look, I'm just guessing...
-... So it crashes, and this guy, whoever he is, gets thrown out, or walks out, and ends up freezing.
-Yeah, they dig him up and cart him back. He gets thawed out, wakes up and scares the shit out of them. And they get into one hell of a brawl...
-Now how's this motherfucker wake up after thousands of years in the ice, huh?
-I don't know how. Because he's different than we are. Because he's a space guy. What do you want from me, anyway. Go ask Blair.
-I can get maybe another five or six feet out of it.
-Where's the other half?
-What we going to do?!
-Torch them!!
-But...
-What do we do about those three?
-MacReady!
-What?
-Garry's missing!
-Oh, shit! Well, hang on!
-Well, who says I want you going with me?!
-... Nothing human could have made it back here in this weather without a guideline...
-What are you doing?
-We found your clothes -- the ones you tried to burn.
-What clothes?
-... Ever occur to the jury that anybody could have gotten to some of my clothes and stuck them up...
-Palmer, you and Copper tie everyone down. Real tight.
-What for?
-You ain't tying me up.
-Then I'll have to kill you.
-We should have jumped his ass.
-Load of bullshit.
-Spaceship of some kind.
-I think so.
-Not the only one.
-The fire's got the temperature way up all over camp... won't last long though.
-Neither will we.
-Maybe we should try and fix the radio... try and get some help.
-Maybe we shouldn't.
-Maybe we shouldn't make it.
-If you're worried about anything, let's take that blood test of yours.
-Screw regulations! Four guys could be crawling around on their bellies out there!
-My God, what in hell happened here?
-Hey, Sweden!!!
-Anything?
-What are you doing?
-Could be important work. Might as well bring it back.
-Well, who's got access to it?
-Would that test have worked?
-Now hold him.
-I'm a real light sleeper, Childs...
-And if anyone tries to wake me...
-I guess you're okay.
-Thank you.
-... Guys as crazy as that could have done a lot of damage to their own before they got to us.
-Nothing we can do about that.
-Yes, there is. I'd like to go up.
-In this weather?
-Goes on like that quite awhile. What do you gentlemen make of it?
-Hold on, damn it. We're getting nowhere... If this bit of Blair's about absorbing and imitating is true... then that dog could have gotten to anybody.
-How long will it take you to prepare this?
-A couple of hours.
-Can there be... some kind of test? To find out who's what?
-I don't see how... when I'm finished I return it right away.
-When was the last time you used it?
-I'm getting worried about you. You ought to have a checkup.
-Let's just not get worried about anything just now.
-After all this mess then.
-Gotta be from the Norwegian camp.
-How far's that?
-'Bout eighty kilos southwest.
-How many in their party?
-Right. Why not?
-Hey, man...!
-You reach anybody yet?
-We're a thousand miles from anybody else, man. It's going to get a hell of a lot worse before it gets better.
-Couple seconds of an Argentine disco station.
-Put that down!
-No.
-Look, if you're going to keep bitching, MacReady -- Palmer's offered to take him up...
-We're on fire!
-Don't let up, Childs!
-You're not thinking of going after them, are you?
-Get these things out of supply and meet me over by the snowmobiles.
-You're not going to catch them in one of those with the start they got.
-Ah... no one... I give it to Copper when he needs it...
-Let's rush him. He's not going to blow us all up.
-Pure nonsense. This won't prove a damn thing.
-Looks good.
-How long's it been?
-Four!
-What's...
-Oh, I got you. Not too long.
-How's that Thing get to the dogs? I though we stopped it in time.
-Copper thinks they swallowed pieces of it during the fight.
-No it ain't there. Would I be asking if it were there?
-Sanchez...? Hey, who...
-Somebody definitely messed with it.
-We going to make it?
-Sanchez, you and Palmer search the inside...
-What kind of test?
-Tie up Clark, too.
-He's dead.
-How we going to try and find out who's... you know, who's who?
-Where were the flashlights?
-We've got to find Fuchs. When we find him -- we kill him.
-Why?
-What if it doesn't come?
-He might just wait us out.
-That thing's too smart to be hiding any more of its clothes, MacReady.
-This storm do that?
-... Hey, somebody! Open up, it's me, MacReady... ... Come on, damn it... The towline snapped. Been crawling around like a seal out here...
-We're going to draw a little bit of everybody's blood.
-What are you going to do? Drink it?
-What is it?
-Where was he trying to go?
-What about Childs?
-You and Nauls got to block off the west side bunks, the mess hall and the kitchen.
-You crazy? He might be inside already?
-Get back!!
-The generator!
-Got Sanchez... World War Three wouldn't mess with this fucker... Can go through walls... And it's like all over the place...
-Calm down and get in your position.
-Maybe it ain't coming.
-Then we go after him.
-You jerking off or just pissed?
-We got any more of those electronic chess things down in supply?
-Get your gear on.
-Magnesium of some type... or some kind of strange alloy. And those poor dumb bastards had to go and blow the hell out of it.
-So what do you make of it?
-You know damn well what we both make of it.
-Somebody else sure as hell thought so.
-We should sleep in shifts.
-What's happened?!
-MacReady, that you?
-Yeah!
-It's the generator I think! No power.
-... Made sure I got ahead of him on the towline on the way back... cut him loose.
-MacReady...?
-He's one of them.
-You hear that?
-It's got into the pub! It's turned on the stereo!
-What?!
-It's in between us and them!! How we going to get back?!
-It must have been hard, leaving your work.
-Now how did you get hurt?
-I had an accident.
-What do you do on the towers?
-On the towers?
-Ah... no.
-Don't tell me you're a mud carrier.
-... Thousands and thousands of people. And sometimes we live in great buildings that reach up five or ten stories.
-And everyone looks like us?
-She didn't want me to be a climber. She wanted me to be a planner like her.
-How can they just go back to work as if nothing happened?
-What else can they do?
-Kalen... Do you have any idea where they take them?
-There's a place that might help... we could try going there.
-Where?
-The Hall of Books.
-You have books?! Kalen, you've got to take me there. There might be history. Records. Something to help us find where the Morlocks took --
-No one ever comes here. My mother told me stories about it late at night. They tell all the children.
-What kind of stories?
-I had a friend who came here once. Sort of a dare.
-What happened?
-I think we should go on by ourselves.
-No...
-Please, just listen to me... Your mother would be very cross with me if you got hurt. I'll find her.
-But you're only a mud carrier.
-... Well, you wanted to see it.
-This is it?
-Yes. Just about here.
-Right up your alley, I would think. You are from the past, yes?
-How did you know?!
-I can smell carcinogens and industrial pollutants on your skin that have not been known here for -- -- 800,000 years perhaps. Don't keep me in suspense. What year?
-1899.
-I must say, you look remarkably good. You don't want a book then?
-What are you?
-I'm the librarian. I've always been the librarian.
-I know you -- you're an automaton of some sort that --
-Sir... have you a name?
-Please, we need your help. The Morlocks have taken --
-Morlocks --
-You know of them?
-Who doesn't know the Morlocks?
-Do you know where they live?
-Oh yes... They found our knowledge useful for a time. They used us much as your people did. Then they decided they had learned enough so they tore us up for spare parts.
-But you escaped.
-I was lucky. The others weren't.
-Regenerating fission reactor, you wouldn't understand. It's power is well beyond your neanderthal cranial capacity.
-We need your help.
-Because you'll never die.
-Excuse me?
-So, Relic, you want to open Pandora's box, do you? See all the mysteries exposed?
-Yes.
-And if the truth is so horrible that it will haunt your dreams for all time?
-When was his mother taken?
-Last night.
-Send him away.
-What?
-Send him home. You don't want him to see it.
-My God... I saw this.
-It frightens you.
-Yes...
-So, do we go on?
-Yes.
-Aren't you a plucky little -- ?
-It's what they want you to see.
-This is the way in?
-Yes... Are you sure you want to do this?
-In for a penny, in for a pound. Do you know that saying?
-Machines?
-Yes.
-Vox?
-What's it all for?
-The air... the power.
-Why did they built it?
-Alexander... Listen to me, it was wrong to bring you. You're not going to find what you're looking for.
-What do you mean?
-They raise them like cattle... Feed them until they're ready and then hunt them.
-No...
-This has to end.
-End...?
-Vox --
-Takes a licking but keeps on ticking... ... For a while anyway.
-What can I do? Tell me what to do.
-Nothing to do, I'm afraid. I'm just a librarian after all. Wasn't exactly made for all this swashbuckling. Very Byronic end, though. I appreciate that. Do you know Byron?
-Vox...
-I'm babbling. Good to have someone to talk to for a change... But you need to go. Take her out of here... ... I don't have long.
-I won't leave you like this.
-Go back to the light. You weren't made for this. I was... I was made for this moment.
-I don't understand.
-Now get out of my sight, you hideous primate.
-I'll never forget this.
-I should hope not... ... Alexander... Make them read my books. Tell them who they are. Who they could be.
-What's your name?
-Alexander.
-Well, Alexander, as a fellow scientist I know you have a thousand questions --
-You came underground when the world was ending above. And you evolved. Some into the Morlocks and others --
-No, we created the Morlocks.
-Created?
-You wouldn't understand. We genetically engineered the Morlock class to serve our needs.
-As slaves.
-And centuries later when we tried to emerge into the sun again, we couldn't. Our adaptation was too successful. We survived... we endured... for this.
-How do you control the Morlocks?
-We make them see what we wish.
-How?
-And what of the Eloi?
-They survived above. Became what they are.
-No... they didn't survive only to be your food. You did that.
-I'm afraid your indignation is lost here. I have no more "human" response to the Eloi then you would have to a carrot. It's just how we live now.
-But this is barbaric! Have you completely lost all sense of --
-And who are you, Alexander? Who are you to question thousands of years of evolution? This is the world now. I am fact.
-What?
-Go back to where you came from. Or die here.
-Why would you let me go back?
-Say I just come back again?
-Alexander, yours is a world of brocade and velvet, not tooth and claw. Why would you come back to this? To save a few cattle? No.
-Why?
-We have lost the capacity to reproduce. But the species must continue.
-So you take their best...
-When a creature shows too much independent thought we remove them from the gene pool. We're breeding them for submission. Soon they will be fully domesticated.
-You took her because she helped me.
-She won't remember you. None of them will. You will be forgotten. That is how history works.
-A man can change his history.
-Now will you go?
-If I can only find the right door... the lady or the tiger...
-No...
-That was a foolish thing to do.
-I could have a hundred Morlocks here in thirty seconds.
-I know.
-I'm tired of running.
-But you've earned a reward for your valor. I think you should become. You'll like it here. Once you get used to the darkness.
-I don't think that's going to happen.
-And why not?
-It's spectacular...
-Thanks. Old Nell's my girl all right. Al least when she decides to move, stubborn beast.
-I've only read about them -- and the new internals.
-Now that's what I call plain crazy -- internal combustion is just too dangerous, all those little explosions, never catch on.
-How do you keep the water temperature stable?
-God -- could have killed me -- bad girl, Nell! How did you know to do that?
-I just love mechanical things.
-Well, much obliged -- I'm always forgetting the confounded brake -- say, if you wait until I get her up and running I'll give you a perambulation. Tell you all about her.
-Ahhh... I'm afraid I've got a prior commitment.
-Next time then. We perambulate here most every night.
-May I help you?
-I -- what are you?!
-I am the Fifth Avenue Public Library informational kiosk. VOX registration NY-114. May I help you?
-The 2005 terraforming demolitions for the lunar excavations sent the moon into a diminishing retrograde orbit resulting in global gravitational fluctuations, increased seismic activity and tidal anomalies. Can I tell you more?
-No -- wait -- the moon's falling out of orbit -- that's not possible!
-Well, considering it is, in fact, happening, I would assume it's possible. The retrograde orbit began in 2005 when the demolitions for the lunar colonies --
-Why is it -- breaking up?
-You're late.
-Got here as soon as I could.
-Dance with me...
-You know I can't.
-You promised me flowers.
-What?
-You promised me flowers tonight, don't you even remember?
-Sorry... I was distracted.
-Well there's something new.
-I need to... um... talk to you.
-Talk away, Professor.
-... Orion's belt, pointing to the earth. You see it over the rocks there? Sailors consider that an omen of good fortune; the hunter watching over them on their travels... Are you listening to me, Alex?
-What? Yes -- Orion -- good fortune -- sailors.
-All right, what is it now?
-Emma, you know I have great... admiration for you.
-Admiration? My my.
-I mean... well... affection.
-Oh dammit, I love you! I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think, all I do is moon over you and -- hum, apparently.
-You know, the moment is rather dying here.
-I know it's not a diamond but --
-A moonstone.
-You're late.
-Got here as soon as I could.
-Dance with me...
-You know I can't.
-Alex, what is it?
-Holding you... again.
-Darling.
-I need... to talk to you.
-All right...
-Let's walk through the park...
-No... let's walk through the city.
-Alex, what is it?
-Alex...?!
-Why do we have to race for heaven's sake?!
-My God...
-You're so pale... I hope you're not coming down with something.
-No, I'm fine. I'm... ... wonderful. Just walking down the street with you again.
-We took a walk three days ago.
-They are rare... ... Orion's belt, pointing to the earth --
-The sailor's omen of good fortune. The hunter watching over him on his travels.
-Heavens, look at that now!
-Now I know you're ill -- passing up the chance to explore some new gadget.
-Alex... people are staring.
-Let them.
-... The point is I know it will work once the, um, numbers and such are in order.
-Do you know you were humming?
-I was not.
-Somewhere around "D+2xy something something."
-Damned if I can keep her out of my equations.
-Tonight's the night?
-... One day he'll be discovered by some future archeologists and they won't know what to make of him. The thick brow, so lacking in imagination. The dim little eyes, devoid of curiosity.
-You know generally teachers are supposed to teach real equations that add up to real numbers.
-Where's the challenge in that?
-Alex, this is your first year as an associate professor. You might want to play things a little more conservatively.
-Look at them, Philby, all alike, everyone in an identical bowler hat. Do you want your students to turn out like them?
-I want my students to emerge with theoretical and practical knowledge.
-I don't. I want them to run along this street and knock off every bowler they see.
-You may not like it, but this is the world we live in, Alex. Little grey men with little grey hats.
-In the future, we'll be better.
-What?
-Emma actually likes chalk dust -- says it smells like me.
-The most able inventor I know and you can't tie a simple four-in- hand.
-That's how I knew we were destined to be together. When I met her parents for the first time I came right from class and I was covered in chalk. They sniffed and snorted, but she just smiled. At that moment -- I just knew. How did you know with Molly?
-She made the best Shepherd's pie I ever tasted.
-Do you have a romantic bone in your body?
-Alex, really... good luck tonight. She's a fine girl, and she's done wonderful things for you.
-Oh?
-All these clocks -- how can you constantly be running late?!
-I've been working.
-I came by the house every day after the funeral. And then every week. Then every other month. Then I stopped coming. Did you even notice?
-I'm sorry, David.
-It hurt me, Alex. Very much.
-It's my Jamie's birthday today. Your godson. He's nine years old. At his party he asked me if Uncle Alex was coming. I told him no. Then he asked me if you didn't like him anymore.
-For God's Sake, David --
-There are some things I need to say to you. You may not like hearing them, but I don't know if I'll ever get another chance --
-You care for me. And you're concerned. And I have to start living my life again. I hear it from Mrs. Watchit every day.
-But you won't listen. You won't see me, you won't see anyone. What would you like me to tell Jamie? That Uncle Alex is busy? That Uncle Alex is hiding up there in his laboratory --
-Hiding?
-You know that's what it is. Mrs. Watchit tells me you're here at all hours -- day and night --
-That's because I'm working. You remember that? You used to care about your work.
-What happened to Emma will never go away. It's part of you now and it always will be. But you have to learn to live with it...
-I live with it every minute of every day.
-I know that --
-You don't know that. You couldn't possibly. If I'd only done this, or that, if I'd arrived ten minutes earlier, or later. If we'd taken a different path or I hadn't fought the man for the ring. You have no idea what it is to relive every moment of that night -- consider every action you made -- and every one of them wrong.
-It wasn't your fault, Alex.
-Wasn't it?... I have a dream almost every night now. The Lady and the Tiger, you remember that story? In the dream I'm alone in a huge chamber with a thousand doors. Behind every door, save one, is a tiger. I have to make the decision. Which door conceals Emma? And I just stand there... looking at the doors...
-Alex, nothing will ever change what happened, but --
-David... I appreciate your concern, I do. But I ask you to have faith in me. Just for a little while longer. I'm working on something now. Something... extraordinary.
-What is it?
-You wouldn't believe me.
-I would.
-I'll tell you what... come by for dinner in a week and I'll show you.
-Why don't you come to our house instead?
-I can't do that --
-When's the last time you were outside this house -- -- or this room?
-I can't leave when I'm so close.
-There are trains leaving Grand Central every then minutes. A dozen liners leaving the harbor. Get on one of them. Go to Singapore, Scotland, Manchuria, anywhere, just away from here --
-That's absurd --
-You won't say that in a week.
-All right. I'll come for dinner. And in the meantime... you'll think about what we discussed?
-Good night, David.
-And this would be my study. There was an elm tree outside the window then.
-This... was my home.
-Couldn't help but overhearing. Two fine young people starting out on the road of life. I wish you the very best.
-Thank you...
-I hope it's a happy journey for you both -- and much as I hate to do this, moved as I am by your protestations of love, I'll be needing your money now.
-Sir...?
-And your jewelry too. I guess we could consider this your first little bump on the road to married bliss.
-Did you hear me, lad?
-You're up! You must be feeling better --
-How long did you travel?
-Yes.
-Is there a lot of illness?
-His curiosity is amazing.
-Kalen will tire you out if you let him. He's always been curious. His father was firm with him but... it's just his way.
-Your husband is dead?
-It's hard for me to imagine a better place. Where I come from there's so much... frenzy. Day and night. It seems we're all running faster and faster... ... All in identical bowler hats.
-You're not from beyond the valley.
-We don't have anything like this. Or the machine where Kalen found you. And I doubt they do beyond the valley... Now where do you come from?
-You might find the truth rather hard to understand.
-Oh, that explains everything.
-I know it's hard to believe, but it's true.
-That machine --
-Allowed me to travel from my time to yours.
-How long ago?
-Why?
-Why not?
-I might find the truth rather hard to understand?... Can you go back?
-Yes. Or forward into the future. I suppose I really should check on the machine, see that it hasn't been damaged...
-I'll take you tomorrow... You must have seen a lot on your journey.
-Is he all right?
-I'm going to sit with Kalen. Keep the fire burning if you can.
-I'll take you to your machine tomorrow.
-You seem fascinated by the stars.
-You can see so many here.
-Don't then have stars where you come from?
-Good night, then.
-Mara, I had a strange dream last night. I was here, walking through a forest very much like this, and then...
-Then you came to a desert and mountains...
-Yes.
-And you saw a shape ahead of you...
-Yes!
-We all have that dream.
-All of you?
-Every night.
-You share dreams? That's incredible.
-This is magnificent...
-Thank you.
-And this is your "work"?
-The mud carriers.
-I can see Kalen's point.
-Want to be a high climber now, do you?
-What you need is an engineer. If you set up a system of pulleys and counterweights, some basic block and tackle mechanism, you could to this a lot more easily.
-It's not supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be beautiful.
-What's it all for?
-I don't understand.
-I mean, why do you do it? What purpose does it serve?
-It has no purpose. It's just beautiful... Does everything have a purpose where you come from?
-Most things. We're very high on purpose.
-It's always been this way here. We work on the towers all our lives. When we're young we train to be planners or climbers or sculptors...
-Or mud carriers.
-And there's no shame to that. It's all the same here. Everyone has an important job to do. We all work together and couldn't survive without each other.
-What are you?
-I'm a planner. I help decide where the new towers go and what they should look like.
-How do you decide?
-... It was a great city. The greatest city in the world.
-You liked it there.
-Oh, very much... ... I used to work somewhere in that direction, I think. A huge university where we taught everything from botany to history to literature.
-Learning was important?
-Oh very. Learning, commerce, the arts -- the whole place was buzzing all the time. Night and day.
-Did you have fires at night?
-Only to keep warm. For illumination we had gaslights on most of the streets and a new invention called electrical lighting that made it seem like daylight all through the night.
-It must have been safe.
-Oh, it was... ... Most of the time.
-It sounds like a wonderful place to live.
-Alexander...?
-Those rocks, over there... they're the same... this is... Central Park.
-You know this?
-This is where my journey started... right here.
-You lost someone.
-Yes.
-Someone you loved very much.
-Yes... After her death, it was intolerable for me here... The future had to be better.
-Is it?
-You've welcomed me into your home. Into your lives. Everyone has... For the first time in a long time it doesn't hurt quite so much. I thank you for that.
-Good -- it looks fine. We had quite a ride together...
-It's undamaged?
-Yes... a little scorching on the upholstery but otherwise all ship- shape.
-So you can use it now?
-Yes... I suppose so.
-Go back to your own time?
-Alexander, take my son away. Take him back to your time. Will you do that?
-Mara --
-Kalen...
-Mara...?
-Mara -- what -- ?!
-It was different then.
-Oh huzzah, the master's home.
-Do you have it?!
-Don't torture me -- do you have it?
-I have it, but don't you think for one moment I'll be letting you go out in that filthy coat -- now go upstairs and change. I've laid out your green coat.
-Now that's more like it. You look a proper gentlemen for once.
-Then if Emma turns me down will you marry me?
-Oh, I'm already swooning.
-Sir, Mr. Philby is here.
-Here?
-Yes, sir, he --
-All right, Mrs. Watchit. You can go.
-May I get you some --
-Dr. Philby, Dr. Hartdegen. I received the most extraordinary letter last week. From a parent. We are always pleased to receive letters from parents. They are our employers, after all. This gentleman's son is in your class, Dr. Hartdegen.
-I see.
-As I recall the syllabus the name of your tutorial is "Applied Mathematics and Engineering", am I correct?
-Well, just as I thought. Surely it's all been a terrible mistake. This parent actually suggested that your freshman course in applied mathematics has somehow become a seminar on theoretical physics!
-Imagine that.
-But I know that none of my faculty would ever deviate from the assigned curriculum.
-Well... perhaps I have "deviated" the tiniest bit.
-Might I ask why?
-Sir, that curriculum is forty years out of date. The students today are looking toward the new century -- they want to be challenged and inspired, not spoon-fed dusty old equations that have been proved a thousand times. They want to explore.
-And roosters.
-No, Dr. Hartdegen, they are not just chickens and roosters. They are science. Perhaps they aren't "inspiring" to you. Perhaps they don't "challenge" you --
-No, sir --
-Animal husbandry is science, Dr. Hartdegen. I have been breeding these fowl for fourteen years. I have filled a library with information on their feeding patterns, social behavior and breeding. Empirical, exacting, quantifiable records.
-With respect, sir, would we have the telegraph without fantasy? Would we have radium and X-rays without someone first dreaming we could?
-The advances you speak of were the result of countless years of study and empirical experimentation, a careful evolutionary process, not chalkboard parlor-tricks.
-My equations are not parlor-tricks!
-Abstract mathematics, relativity of dimensions, geometrical "durations" -- even allowing for the uses of speculation, what is the point?
-Yes, sir.
-And hungry, I'd say. You had such a long journey.
-I did...
-"Eloi"?
-What are your people called?
-Well, I guess you'd call us... New Yorkers.
-We had another visitor from beyond the valley about four years ago. His name was Moren. Do you know him?
-No...
-He said he traveled for two months.
-Oh, very different. But not entirely... I mean we have lots of, um, trees and such. But not everywhere. And more roads. And buildings.
-Why?
-To live in. There's a lot of us... beyond the valley.
-New Yorkers.
-I am the oldest.
-No, I mean someone considerably older. Your father perhaps?
-My father has gone to a better place.
-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
-Good morning, Alexander. Feeling up to some work?
-Where do they take them?!
-We don't know.
-We have to go after them, find where -- !
-Alexander, I know you're trying to help. But they don't come back.
-What do you mean?!
-They've gone to a better place.
-You know that's not true.
-We choose to believe it.
-This is out life, Alexander. It's a hard life but it is how we have always lived.
-Then it's time to change that --
-You won't even try?
-My fowl have polluted the yard.
-Sir, if I may --
-If I might explain, sir --
-You supported his application, Dr. Philby. You are his senior, advisor. I depend upon you to restrain his... excesses. Any repetition of the behavior I witnessed in his classroom today and there will be consequences for you both.
-Yes, sir.
-How did you get hurt?
-Kalen...
-I found you. I saved your life. You were bleeding all over the place!
-What did you do at night?
-We'll see about that.
-I want to see your home. Will you take me?
-Kalen, right now you need to go up to bed. You're exhausting Alexander.
-Kalen, it's all right, I'm here --
-They're here! They're inside the house -- !
-No, you're safe --
-They're inside --
-Hello, Mrs. Watchit. You're looking in the pink.
-I wonder if that poor girl has any idea what she's in for?
-I don't know what to tell you, sir. He's been gone this whole week.
-And you've no idea where he went?
-Sir?
-I think I might be. But there'll be some changes made. I run a tight house.
-I have no doubt of that. I'll come by in the morning and we'll arrange it. Goodnight, Mrs. Watchit.
-You ok?
-I'm fine.
-[Beat] Listen, I hate to bother you...
-Then don't.
-But... what about Starks?
-What about Starks?
-Should we be...
-Should we be what? Trying to change him any way we can? [Beat] Yes.
-Don't get all worked up, Justin. I expected some common sense on your part and clearly I was expecting too much. [Beat] Just open the drawer.
-We never should have done this to him...
-Well, your condition's pretty serious.
-[Beat] So they say. [Off Becker's steady gaze] What?
-I'm just looking at you. Does that make you uncomfortable?
-You said you couldn't remember killing Officer Harrison. Correct?
-[Beat] You don't believe me, do you?
-He's recovering on the third floor.
-Are you kidding me? He's not psychotic!
-I don't know better. All I know is that you left me in there.
-In where?
-We were forced to use restrains if that's what you're referring to.
-That wasn't a fucking restraint.
-Relax.
-Don't act like I don't know what's real. [Beat] I'm not the one that's crazy here.
-You're just suffering from delusions that are unfortunately part of your condition.
-I didn't dream it. I may have been asleep but it wasn't a dream. BECKER sits down in a CHAIR, half-shrouded in the light.
-I had a patient a few years ago. His name was Ted Casey...
-I don't give a shit about your patient!
-We are not birds of a feather.
-Long live the Organization for the Organized!
-Hello, William. I understand you've been asking for me almost every hour. I would've been here sooner but you gave our little state visitor quite a bit to talk to me about.
-That's too bad.
-It is. But when it comes down to it, you just have to patient with them. They'd rather have their vacation, too, so they just push dealing with our "practices" off to the New Year.
-They make it hard for you to get away with your business, huh?
-And what's that?
-My business?
-Yes.
-Getting away with things. Like whatever I may or may not have gotten away with Officer Harrison.
-I'll say a prayer for you in Church today, Starks. Maybe the Gods can pick up where the medicine left off.
-You sure you know where to find one?
-I've managed to every Sunday of my life. [Beat] Some of us are God- fearing men, Starks.
-And what does that mean?
-Becker, how do you sleep at night?
-Who are you?
-I think you know. Your eyes say you do.
-[Beat] You're his son?
-No. I'm not his son. I'm him. [Beat] What? You look like you've seen a ghost. You can come here and touch me, old man. I'm the real thing.
-You died, Starks. Years ago, in the hospital.
-I know. [Beat] You killed me, didn't you?
-No. I didn't. I swear I didn't. I probably helped push you to kill yourself, but I didn't do it.
-I don't know how you died. The last time I put you in the Jacket was just after you told me you remembered killing that police officer...
-I didn't say I remembered killing him. I just repeated some words to get myself back in there.
-I know. [Beat] I knew that when you came out.
-How?
-Of people like you. People I was just trying to help. They couldn't get worse so I thought, with medication, they might get...
-Medication? What kind of meds do you chase with nights in a cadaver drawer?
-It was part of the treatment I intended...I didn't know what the effects would be...
-So, what, you guinea pig sick people to find out?
-The three of you weren't regular patients. You were criminals that ended up at Alpine Grove.
-How did you come to know their names?
-You just told me. The last time I was with you was when I was in the Jacket. I'm in it right now, Dr. Becker.
-I don't understand...
-I'm in it as we speak. [Beat] You're haunting yourself right now. [Beat] I guess sometimes we indict ourselves if no one else does. You didn't make history like you wanted to, huh, Dr. Becker. It turned out different, didn't it?
-I didn't put you in Alpine Grove.
-Do I know you from somewhere?
-That's right! Goddamn, you're the spitting image. I didn't know he had a son.
-Did you know my father?
-My father used to talk about you.
-Look here, I don't like you getting in my face and saying this bullshit to me...
-That's too bad.
-I thought you said you never knew your father.
-I didn't. [Beat] Did you have anything to do with his death?
-He died because he bled to death from a blow to his head. Someone had to have given him it.
-We're late.
-I wish they'd skip the formality of this annual review and just cut our budget. Our silence on the matter should be enough to appease the civic conscience without wasting an hour we don't have.
-It's the ticking of a box on a sheet of paper no one cares about.
-What should they be looking for?
-Where? [Beat] It's Becker isn't it? He's doing stuff, isn't he?
-You look like you've lost some weight. Are you eating?
-You done with your small talk?
-Sure.
-This is really happening, isn't it?
-[Beat] What do you need me to do?
-I need to get this letter to someone.
-I can't take you out of here in your condition...
-And I can't stay here in my condition. I am going to die tonight. It's already been decided.
-No, it hasn't.
-I'm sorry I can't tell you more about your father's death, Mr. Starks. Our own medical examiners determined only that he died from a blunt trauma to the head but that was right around the time the Alpine Grove's staff changed and I'm afraid we didn't have the best record system before then.
-His body was found on January 1, 1993, but do you know if that was long after he had died?
-No, I don't. I'm sorry. I wish I knew more.
-What about Dr. Thomas Becker or Dr. Loel Lorenson? There was also a Dr. Gries, I think.
-Well, Dr. Lorenson is still here at the hospital. If she was here at the time your father was, then I'm sure she'd be of more help to you.
-What about Dr. Becker and Mr. Gries?
-Get your fucking hands off my daughter!
-Mom, he just fixed our car.
-I'm sorry? Your face looks awfully familiar, I just can't quite place it...
-Mom, this is the guy that drove us home that afternoon we were stuck on the highway. The guy you yelled at for no good reason...
-Jackie, go play in the snow.
-Why?
-Come on, mom. Don't fall asleep...
-You two ok?
-Your mom take anything before this happened?
-Yeah, but I don't know what.
-[Beat] What's your name?
-But I like it I guess.
-Hey, can you reach the gas pedal?
-You're just gonna walk?
-What're those?
-Dog tags. [Off her blank look] They've got your name and date of birth for identification.
-What for?
-I think I can remember what's on them.
-What'd you do? Snoop all over the place? You had no right. You had no right to go through anything.
-[Beat] I know it doesn't make sense. It doesn't even make sense to me.
-Jackie, I'm William Starks. I can prove it.
-What? Now you're gonna show me some kind of driver's license?
-No, I don't have anything to show you. I'm here from a mental hospital.
-Stop it! Stop it! JACKIE covers her ears and looks at him, pleading with her eyes. STARKS' eyes plead right back.
-I'm sorry for upsetting you, [beat] but I'm not lying to you.
-You can't be William Starks. He's dead.
-[Beat] What?
-William Starks is dead... [Beat] I've been to his grave.
-[Beat] What?
-I looked it up.
-I gave you my dog tags.
-No, you didn't. They found William Starks' body dead in the snow.
-How'd he die?
-I don't know. But he did die. STARKS falters under the news. JACKIE looks around, through her now blurred eyes, like she might find some help in the apartment. She settles for the BOTTLE of VODKA on the table, lowers the iron fork and takes a long heavy drink, then laughs nervously as she looks up.
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-I know what this is...I picked you up when I was drunk and you probably thought I'm just fucked up enough to fall for this. But the thing is I know what I'm doing when I drink. I just usually don't care. Right now, I do though. And I want you out. Now.
-It's December 25th, 1993 today.
-I'm telling you I don't care what time you think you're in. You're not William Starks. [Beat] I don't believe in many things, but I believe in death. And it doesn't give back what it takes. So whoever you are...I did a nice thing, you've made me regret it enough already, so please, just leave.
-I'll leave. But look at me. Look at my face, Jackie. I'm not lying. I met you and your mother. I told you then that I'd lost my memory. [Beat] There was no one for miles around so I know you know there's no way I could have known that from a pair of dog tags you had lying around.
-The Jacket. That's what they call it, right?
-Yeah.
-But no one knew until after...
-[Beat] You bled to death.
-What?
-Do you really believe me?
-[Softly] I want to trust you. Should I trust you?
-Yes.
-Then we need to figure out what happened to you. It's the only thing we can do.
-I know.
-Alpine Grove still exists. I looked it up on the net. We should go there and see if there's still anyone around who might have known what happened to you.
-I didn't kill Officer Harrison.
-I know.
-How? Did they figure it out after I died?
-I don't believe a thing she just said.
-Me neither. Who was the boy she was talking about, Eugene?
-I have no idea.
-You think Lorenson kills you?
-Maybe. I don't know. Seems more likely Becker does, but at the very least she knows how I died.
-Let's see if they have an address for Becker. I also want to figure out more about the kid you helped her with.
-Why?
-How long do we have?
-I don't know.
-What about Captain Medley? He never told them what happened to you over there. His testimony...that coward wanted them to think you were crazy.
-Of course it makes me mad. It makes me more than mad. Just like remembering the face of the man who killed that officer and knowing nothing more about him. But what's it gonna do for me to find them now? I can't fix everything in three days.
-You've got to get yourself out of that place. They're going to kill you if you don't.
-I might not be able to.
-Me, too.
-You're sure?
-They're not here.
-They're not.
-What? What are you thinking?
-I don't know. Maybe that's because this whole thing is a dream. How can you have a street with no cars on it?
-I don't know. But this isn't a dream. I'm real, and so is where we are.
-Then why isn't there anyone around?
-Of course he will. [Beat] What day of the week is it?
-They've got lives to be grateful for.
-William, you're not making sense.
-That's all you got from him? That bastard helped take your life away from you.
-No, he didn't.
-If everything hadn't happened the way it has, then I wouldn't be here right now, sitting in a car with you, touching your face.
-Where are we going?
-What's happening to me? Why am I getting so much weaker?
-Lorenson's the only one that could let me out of there. I need something to persuade her that I was there. Get me something to take to her.
-What?
-When we first met, when you were 7, where was the house you lived in with your mother? Do you remember your address?
-You gotta stop thinking like that.
-Then, where are you going?
-I've been ok.
-Good. How's your mom?
-[Beat] You be good to yourself, Jackie.
-I think so.
-It's ok. It's ok. Relax. It's just a cut. We can get it fixed. But we need to get you to the hospital now. How'd you get that?
-How you doin'?
-Just a little, when we were looking up information about William's father. How did he help?
-It's complicated, but [looking at Starks] in a way, your father let me know how I'd get through to him.
-How?
-He just said...that I'd shock Eugene and then things would change for him.
-I don't understand.
-Because Becker resigned after the charges brought against him by State Patient Advocacy Groups.
-And if I didn't want to come?
-I guess I'd ask you why.
-Because I don't think I'm crazy.
-You were convicted of the crime.
-That conviction doesn't convince me of anything. Until I know that I did it, I'm not going to accept that I did.
-You may never remember at all. [Beat] Your mind's grasp of reality and the real events that have happened to you has been damaged.
-Why, what would you do?
-I could try to...make it stop.
-No. I don't want it to.
-You should be careful. You could be killed if they found you out here.
-My God you look exactly like him.
-I never knew my father. Did you?
-Yeah, I did. [Beat] He was my most memorable patient.
-At the end, he made me change my mind about a lot of things.
-What case?
-How'd he get it?
-[Beat] I don't know.
-But Dr. Morgan said you were around when my father was...
-Well, do you think Dr. Becker would have any idea?
-How do you know about Dr. Becker?
-So maybe Dr. Becker would know. [Beat] But, as I'm sure you know, the statute of limitations has run out for charging the hospital with any liabilities.
-It's important for you to know who your father was, isn't it?
-Exactly.
-Well... [beat] let me know how your search turns out.
-You'll die if you keep smoking those in your condition.
-What do you mean?
-You have no idea what's going on.
-No, I do. That's what I'm saying to you.
-You don't understand.
-Then help me understand. You know, you're not alone. A lot of Gulf Vets have begun to experience curious symptoms. What you have might well be a syndrome and, if so, it's not one we know enough about to be treating it this vigorously.
-I don't know. [Frustrated] Remember?
-Come on. Tell me what you do know.
-[Beat] I've seen a time that's not this time. And I'm only able to see it when I'm in the Jacket.
-Well, what time is it?
-Ok fine. Tell me about it. Tell me about the future. 2004. What does it look like?
-It doesn't look all that different.
-The future doesn't look different?
-No. Not for people like me. [Beat] Not in the places I come from.
-What about the world?
-[Beat] Like who? Like MacKenzie maybe?
-Why don't you help me?
-Because I don't have time.
-Why not?
-I'm about to die unless I do something to stop it.
-And how do you know that?
-Because of the future. I know what's going to happen.
-How do you know about Eugene?
-Some part of you suspects -- even if you don't know for sure -- that what I'm saying is true.
-I don't know how you know about Eugene, but these ideas are part of your delusions.
-I know. I know it all. Save your strength. I already know everything you're going to say. [Beat] You're in the Jacket right now, aren't you?
-How...how do you know?
-You told me this was how it happened.
-I did?
-Who...who kills me?
-You're going to be ok, William. We just need to get your fever down and we'll be able to hopefully stabilize you.
-Can I get some paper and something to write with.
-I'm not gonna let that happen.
-You still don't believe me, do you?
-I do believe you...
-William, I can't indulge these delusions, even when you're in this state.
-He's having absence [pronounced "absance"] seizures when he stares off into space like he does. He has them so often that that's why he hasn't learned to speak properly.
-Who told you this?
-I don't know when it'll happen but soon I think, you'll shock the boy and it'll wake him up.
-What are you talking about?
-You know how to get there?
-Sure. It's an easy address. A little far out there, but easy enough.
-That's Kingsley. Old bastard hears us, I'm sure. He just doesn't want to bother answering so he makes us think he can't talk. I know. I tried it on my mother for two months once before she fished out my tongue. Literally. [Beat] You're the cop killer, right?
-Yeah, guess so. How'd you know?
-I tried to kill my wife.
-Don't you go to jail for that?
-Yeah, well 30 times probably would make you seem crazy.
-What were you talking about the other day?
-I wasn't talking about anything.
-I know you need one when it's really cold.
-[Cutting in] MacKenzie, listen to me. Listen. I'm going to die.
-Mortality's actually a great thing to be familiar with. It means you're sane on some level.
-[Gravely] No, I mean in four days, I'm supposed to die.
-[Beat] How do you know?
-Oh no, you're pretty young. Your body'll be able to handle a lot more of it than you think...
-It's gonna be sticky.
-'Cause Lorenson's got her claws in it now. When she started getting suspicious about me was when they stopped using it on me. Women!
-So what am I supposed to do?
-Geez, how's that for a fucking "thank you"?
-MacKenzie, [beat] what if we are crazy?
-[Shrugging] What if we are? There're crazier things than thinking up fictions for yourself. [Beat] Everyone does it, don't they? Even Becker. That roller coaster car pops more pills than all of Ward 3.
-Becker does? Are you sure?
-You ever been to jail?
-It's worse than war. It's worse than anywhere you've ever been.
-Hey, Mister, you need a ride?
-Where are you going?
-Can you drive?
-Sure.
-If you're deaf, read my lips...I don't need a psycho following me today.
-[Beat] I'm not deaf.
-In case you hadn't figured, it's Christmas Eve. You're never gonna get a cab here.
-All right. [Beat] You got somewhere you need to go, Mister?
-I'm not sure.
-I'm not sure.
-You don't have anywhere to stay?
-Well, where are you from?
-I'm not sure. [Beat] I don't really know.
-Of course you don't know.
-Why "of course"?
-Because in my life, it wouldn't make sense for me to pick up some normal guy with a place where he's from and a place where he's going to. It'd be too simple. I probably wouldn't know how to handle a situation like that.
-Well, how'd you get here?
-[Beat] I was dropped off.
-No.
-Well, don't you somewhere? Stuff? Belongings?
-Great. That was our last option. What am I going to do with you?
-Nothing. [Getting up] Thanks for bringing me this far.
-Where are you going? You'll freeze out there. You don't even have a coat.
-I'll manage.
-No, you won't. You'll die of cold out there and then I'll have to feel guilty. And I've already got more guilt than I know what to do with. [Beat] Do you want something to drink?
-[Beat] Yeah, I'm fine.
-What's this?
-I only lit it because it was so cold in here. I'm sorry if...
-You want a drink?
-This is pretty good. Considering...
-So you're a waitress, right? I mean...from the uniform you were wearing.
-Yup. That's me.
-You like it?
-[Beat] I do it.
-[Beat] Why'd you stop?
-Shit happens, and your life changes. 'Bout the best explanation of a lot of things that happen. [Beat] So how come you don't know where you're coming from?
-Well, good for you.
-[Beat] Why?
-You don't think that's crazy?
-This is a great song.
-But hey, who can forget those words? The man just wants simple and good things for his woman -- that she be warm and happy. How hard can that be to remember?
-They told me I joined the army when I was seventeen. That's when my father died and, before that, it was apparently just me and him since I was born 'cause my mom split.
-So you never knew your mother?
-I guess not. But, as of now, I never knew either.
-I'm sorry.
-Yeah. [Beat] How about you?
-Never knew my father. I grew up with my mother. Actually, I grew up around my mother. She was great though. I mean, the way she was with her friends... She was this woman who had so much life in her, she had to find ways to kill some of it just to be like the rest of us. [Beat] She died young.
-How?
-I'm sorry.
-Yeah, me too. [Softly] Every day for the last ten years.
-Damnit, Thelma, don't holler like that! Haven't I told you I can't stand it when you holler in the morning.
-Hon.
-What.
-Have a good day at work today.
-Uh-huh.
-Hon?
-What?!
-You want anything special for dinner?
-No, Thelma, I don't give a shit what we have for dinner. I may not even make it home for dinner. You know how Fridays are.
-Funny how so many people wanna buy carpet on a Friday night. You'd almost think they's want to forget about it for the weekend.
-'Bye, honey. I won't wait up.
-... only for one day and we'll be back tomorrow night.
-Darryl.
-What?
-Honey?
-Yes, baby?
-Do you think you could ever shoot someone?
-What?
-Do you think you could ever think of a set of circumstances that would just cause you to haul off and shoot someone?
-I could shoot your cousin Eddie.
-Why?
-Because he's an inconsiderate asshole.
-I'm asking you seriously, Sarah, a stranger?
-I don't know, honey. I guess it would depend.
-On what?
-Well, maybe if they were trying to hurt you or one of the kids. I'm sure I could shoot someone if they tried to hurt one of the children.
-Yeah, I could too. But... I don't know why I'm even asking you this. It's just... we can't place anybody at the scene but these two gals that everybody swears is sweet as pie. I don't know. I keep hearing words -- impossible -- inconceivable. If just one person would say...
-Honey. Nothing's impossible. You just don't shoot someone like that for no reason. Maybe he was askin' for it. Anyway, somebody's husband probably got ol' Harlan.
-That's what everybody says. Only problem is nobody's husband was unaccounted for that night... Could you shoot Eddie in the face? At point blank range?
-In the leg.
-Who's the nut?
-That's Thelma Dickinson's husband.
-Alright! She did good! Didn't she?
-We spoke with a gentlemen today who says he personally delivered very close to that same amount to a Miss Louise Sawyer. Do you know her too?
-Umm, yes. She was driving.
-He said he took it to a motel in Oklahoma City. He also says that at that time he met a man. He identified you through a series of mug shots. He also told us that you and Mrs. Dickinson seemed "close." Is that true?
-Did either of them ever indicate that they might be running from the Law?
-Now that you mention it, they might have been a little bit jumpy.
-How do you know I took it? How do you know they didn't just give it to me?
-Could you identify 'em, if ya saw 'em again?
-Hal, I've told you about twenty times, yes, I could identify 'em, but neither one of them was the type to pull something like this.
-Well, you're not exactly an expert witness, but what makes you so sure?
-If waitin' tables in a bar don't make you an expert on human nature, then nothin' will, and I could've told you that Harlan Puckett would end up buyin' it in a parkin' lot. I'm just surprised it didn't happen before now.
-Who do you think did it?
-Has anybody asked his wife? She's the one I hope did it.
-Lena, just cut the bullshit, will ya? Do have any ideas or don't ya? I been standin' in this stupid parkin' lot all goddamn night, and I still got to go file a report before I can go home in time to get back up again!
-Well, if I had to guess, I'd say it was some ol' gal, some ol' gal's husband. But it wasn't either one of those two. The tall one, the redhead, she left me a huge tip.
-You didn't happen to notice what kind of car they were driving?
-It's a nightclub, not a drive-in, Hal. I don't follow the customers to the parking lot.
-I've been better.
-You girls are in some hot water.
-We're both fine.
-Good. You wanna tell me what happened?
-Hey.
-How are things goin' out there?
-Weird. Got some kind of snowball effect goin' here or somethin'.
-You're still with us though. You're somewhere on the face of the earth?
-You're gettin' in deeper every moment you're gone.
-Would you believe me if I told you this whole thing is an accident?
-No!
-You know, certain words and phrases just keep floating through my mind, things like incarceration, cavity search, life imprisonment, death by electrocution, that sort of thing. So, come out alive? I don't know. Let us think about that.
-All we know is there were two women in a green T-Bird convertible that turned left out of the parking lot, going real fast. We're trying to get a make on the car, but nothin' yet. So far, we got nothin'.
-Well, you'd best get something. Even if they didn't do it, it times out that they most likely witnessed it. I want somebody to at least talk to 'em. Put out an APB with a description and see what we get back.
-Alright.
-Is there any reason to believe they've left the state?
-That's certainly possible.
-Why don't we go ahead and let the bureau in on this.
-I have no problem with that.
-I swear to God, she wouldn't tell me one thing! Christ! You oughta try to find that kid that was with 'em.
-Tell us about him.
-This is serious, son. A man is dead.
-Is this the guy you saw them with?
-Armed robber.
-What kind of gun was it?
-A .38.
-We're going to leave someone here at the house in the event that she calls in. Someone will be here until we find them.
-Good God.
-Now, for one thing, you violated your parole two days out. And you know Judge Hainey. He hates this sort of thing. Once he gets wind of this, he's gonna blow sky high. And then when he finds out that you're a possible accessory to murder and armed robbery, well, I think we can safely place your ass back in the slammer for at
-It's just not working like this. We gotta do something. It'd be one thing if these girls were hardened criminals, but Jesus, Hal, this is makin' us look bad. I don't know... maybe they're not movin'. Maybe that little creep lied.
-He's got nothin' to gain by lyin'. Nothin' at all. He already got all their money. I just don't know what we're dealin' with here. Anyway, it went out again last night on Nationwide Teletype. Let's just wait it out a little longer. She said she was gonna call back. Let's just sit tight.
-We don't have a whole lotta choice, do we? I can't figure out if they're real smart or just really, really lucky.
-Hey! Don't let them shoot those girls. This is too much. They got guns pointed at 'em!
-I'm sorry to bother you, I know you're real busy right now, but how many times, Max? How many times has that woman gotta be fucked over? You could lift one finger and save her ass and you won't even do that?
-Your name's Harlan? I got an uncle named Harlan!
-Oh shit.
-What's wrong?
-Stop.
-What for?
-I guess I'm startin' to feel a little better.
-Don't. I'm married. I don't feel good. I've been sick.
-You're beautiful. It's okay. I won't hurt you. It's okay.
-Stop it! Goddamnit, I mean it! Louise is gonna wonder where I am. Let go!
-Don't hurt me. Harlan. Please.
-So J.D., what are you studying in school?
-So how come you don't have any kids?
-Did you get married real young?
-Twenty-four isn't young. I'd already been goin' out with him ten years when we got married. I've never been with anybody but Darryl.
-Well, if you don't mind me sayin' so, he sounds like a real asshole.
-This is J.D. He's a student. We're just givin' him a ride to... to here. Louise said we could bring him here and then he'd have to go. And that's what he's doin'. He's goin'. Aren't you, J.D.?
-Louise, is that you?
-Well, I guess I'd better...
-Wait...! Um, where ya going?
-I don't know. Nowhere. What are you doin'?
-I don't know. Nothin'. Took a shower.
-That sounds nice.
-Oh. I... where's Louise?
-She's off with Jimmy, that's her boyfriend.
-I am the great and powerful Oz...
-J.D.! Just tell me. I know you're not some schoolboy. Now come on, nobody ever tells me shit.
-What?! Parole officer? You mean you're a criminal?
-Well, not anymore, Thelma, except for bustin' parole, I haven't done one wrong thing.
-What did ya do?
-I'm a robber.
-You're a bank robber?
-Nope. I've never robbed a bank.
-What?
-Well, I robbed a gas station once, and I robbed a couple of liquor stores, and some convenience stores. And that's it.
-How?
-Well, I was just down on my luck and it seemed like somethin' I was good at so I...
-No, I mean how would you do it? Do you just sneak in real fast or hide out till the store closes or what?
-Naw, honey, that would be burglary. I never got arrested for burglary. Burglary's for chicken shits. If you're gonna rob someone, ya just have to go right on up to 'em and do it. Just take the money. That's robbery. That's a whole 'nother deal.
-Tell me.
-I've always believed if done right, armed robbery doesn't have to be a totally unpleasant experience.
-God. You're a real live outlaw!
-I may be the outlaw, but you're the one stealin' my heart.
-You're kinda the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.
-Jimmy! Hello, stranger. What in the world are you doin' here?
-Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
-Good answer. Same goes double for me.
-Well, come on, gal, I got you a room. You can go on in and take a nice cold shower.
-Don't mind me, Jimmy, I'm just a wild woman.
-I always knew that.
-Louise! Where are you? Are you alright? Honey...
-Hi. I'm okay. How are you? Long time no see.
-I am funny. I'm real funny.
-Are you in town? This sounds long distance.
-No, I'm out of town. I'm in... I'm in real deep shit, Jimmy. Deep shit Arkansas.
-Where'd y'all go?
-I have a savings account with about sixty-seven hundred dollars in it. Now I know you won't be able to get it out, but I'm good for it. I need that money. Can you wire me the sixty-seven hundred dollars and I'll pay you back? Please, I'm desperate.
-What the fuck is going on?
-Something real bad has happened and I can't tell you what, just that it's bad and I did it and I can't undo it. Can you help me?
-Do you love me?
-Christ, sure... yes!
-You're in Oklahoma?!
-Not yet.
-Louise, let me call you back after I wire it, so you'll know which office to go to.
-Can't it go to any office?
-Tell me now.
-Call me back.
-Okay. I'll call you back. In an hour. Don't tell Darryl.
-I know. Call me back. Louise, I love you, okay?
-Is that how you answer the phone?
-I got it. I was afraid I'd missed you. I almost couldn't get a check cashed. It's Saturday.
-Who did it?
-Friend of mine, owns a club. Dickie Randall. You'd know him if you saw him. His brother was in your class. Terry.
-You didn't say what it was for, did you?
-No, honey. I told him I was buyin' a car. What is it for?
-Good. That was good. Where do I go?
-It's a place called Shaw's Siesta Motel. The address is 1921 North East 23. It's under your name.
-And what's the mysterious code word?
-Peaches.
-What?
-Hey, peaches.
-Oh my God! Jimmy! You... Oh my God! What are you doin' here?
-Hello...
-Who is it?
-Now, my little coconut, what seems to be the trouble here? Tell Daddy everything.
-Jimmy, my daddy's still alive and it kind of gives me the creeps when you do that...
-Okay, peaches, okay. But can I ask you one thing?
-Maybe.
-Does it have something to do with another guy? Are you in love with him?
-It's nothin' like that.
-Stop it! Stop it, Jimmy, or I'll leave right now. I'm not kiddin'!
-Can I just ask you one other thing?
-Will you at least see how it fits?
-Jimmy... it's beautiful!
-So whaddya think. I mean... I could... uh... get a job. Of some kind. I mean you've been tellin' me that for years, right?
-Why now, Jimmy?
-I'm the one... I never made it work. I just... It's not that I don't love you. It's not that. I just never thought I'd be thirty-six years old and I never thought... I don't know what I thought. What do you want, darlin'. What do you want me to do.
-Are you just doin' this to punish me?
-Don't worry darlin'. I'll say I never found you. I'll say anything you want. We'll find a way to get you out of this, whatever it is.
-Damn, Jimmy, did you take a pill that makes you say all the right stuff?
-Hello, Officer. Is there a problem?
-You wanna take it out of your wallet, please?
-Is this your car?
-Yes.
-You wanna come with me, please? Walk around and get in the car, please.
-In the back?
-Front.
-Am I in trouble?
-Well, wait now. I still have to ask Darryl if I can go.
-He already thinks you're out of your mind, Louise, that don't carry much weight with Darryl. Are you at work?
-No, I'm callin' from the Playboy Mansion.
-Not this weekend, sweetie, she's runnin' away with me. Hi. What'd he say?
-What time are you gonna pick me up?
-You're kiddin'! Alright! I'll be there around two or three.
-What kind of stuff do I bring?
-I don't know. Warm stuff, I guess. It's the mountains. I guess it gets cold at night. I'm just gonna bring everything.
-Okay. I will, too.
-And steal Darryl's fishin' stuff.
-I don't know how to fish, Louise.
-We don't need the lantern. The place has electricity.
-I wanna take it anyway. Just in case.
-In case of what?
-In case there's some escaped psycho killer on the loose, who cuts the electricity off and tries to come in and kill us.
-Oh yeah, sure, Thelma, that lantern will come in real handy. Maybe we could tow your car behind, in case he steals the spark plugs.
-Whose place is this again?
-It's Bob's, the day manager's. He's gettin' a divorce, so his wife's gettin' this place, so he's just lettin' all his friends use it till he has to turn over the keys.
-I've never had the chance to go out of town without Darryl.
-How come he let you go?
-'Cause I didn't ask him.
-Aw, shit, Thelma, he's gonna kill you.
-How much longer is it gonna be? I'm hungry.
-Another hour of so. We've got enough food for a month.
-I'll never make it... Can't we stop just for a few minutes...
-We've not gonna get to the cabin till after dark as it is, Thelma.
-I haven't seen a place like this since I left Texas.
-Thelma!
-Tell me somethin'. Is this my vacation or isn't it? I mean, God, you're as bad as Darryl.
-I just haven't seen you like this in a while. I'm used to seeing you more sedate.
-Alright... I changed my mind. I'll have a margarita with and a shot of Cuervo on the side, please.
-Jeez, Louise, that wasn't very nice.
-Can't you tell when somebody's hittin' on you?
-So what if he was? It's all your years of waitin' tables has made you jaded, that's all.
-Maybe.
-So, Jimmy still hasn't called yet?
-Givin' him a taste of his own medicine. Asshole.
-I'm sorry, Louise. I know you're all upset. It's just I'm so excited to be out of the house, I guess. I wonder if Darryl's home yet.
-I wonder if Jimmy's gotten back.
-Why don't you tell him to just to get lost once and for all?
-Exactly.
-Thelma, I'm gonna hit the little girls' room, and then we gotta hit the road.
-Oh my God.
-Get the car.
-Jesus Christ! Louise, you shot him.
-Shit! I... I, which way?
-Louise. Where are we going?
-Shouldn't we go to the cops? I mean, I think we should tell the police.
-Tell them what?! What, Thelma? What do you think we should tell them?
-I don't know. Just tell 'em what happened.
-Which part?
-All of it. That he tried to rape me.
-We gotta be inconspicuous. Do you know what that means?
-Yes.
-We have to think this through. We have to be smart. Now is not the time to panic. If we panic now, we're done for. Nobody saw it. Nobody knows it was us. We're still okay. Now all we have to do is just figure out our next move.
-Our next move? I'll say one thing, Louise. This is some vacation. I sure am having a good time. This is real fun.
-If you weren't so concerned with having a good time, we wouldn't be here right now.
-Just what is that supposed to mean?
-It means shut up, Thelma.
-We're gonna go to the next town and stop. We'll get a motel room. I can rest for a while and then figure out how to get some money. We're gonna need money. Thelma. How much money do you have with you?
-I'm cash poor.
-Oh, I don't know. I'm just nervous. I gotta figure out what to do.
-Well, when you figure it out, wake me up.
-What do you mean?
-Why are you actin' like this?
-You could help me try and figure it out! I gotta figure out what to do, and you could try and help me.
-I suggested we go to the police, but you didn't like that; so, frankly, Louise, I'm all out of ideas.
-Well, what's the big rush, Thelma? If we just give 'em some time, they'll come to us...! Oh Christ. I'm just not ready to go to jail yet. Why don't you go out to the pool or something and I'll figure it out...
-Give me the keys.
-You're not touchin' that car.
-My stuff's in the trunk! God! You care more about that car than you do about most people.
-Did you finish thinking?
-Don't get mad, Louise, but where are we going?
-Oklahoma City. Jimmy's gonna wire me some money, and then...
-You talked to him?! Is he mad? Did you tell him?
-No, I didn't tell him. And that's something we gotta get straight. Darryl's been callin', mad as a hornet, makin' all kinds of noise. When you talk to him, you cannot say anything about this. You gotta make sure everything sounds normal.
-I called the asshole at 4:00 in the morning and he wasn't even home. I don't know what he's got to be mad about. I'm the one who should be mad.
-I've been tellin' you that for the last ten years.
-Do you think Darryl's having an affair?
-I don't think Darryl is mature enough to conduct an affair.
-But you think he fools around.
-Thelma, I'm going to Mexico. I think I can make it in two and a half days, but I'm going to have to haul ass. Are you up to this? I mean, I have to know. This isn't a game. I'm in deep shit. I gotta know what you're gonna do.
-I... I don't know. I don't know what you're askin' me.
-Call him?
-Call him. Don't tell him anything. Tell him you're having a wonderful time and you'll be home tomorrow night.
-Will I be?
-Louise, this young man is on his way back to school and needs a ride, and I thought since...
-It's probably not a good idea.
-I wish we could've brought him with us.
-What did Darryl say?
-I just don't see what it would hurt just to give somebody a ride. Did you see his butt? Darryl doesn't have a cute butt. You could park a car in the shadow of his ass.
-I'm sorry. I'm just not in the mood for company right now. Here. Take this map. I need you to find all the secondary roads to Mexico from Oklahoma City. I think we should stay off the interstates. We're too conspicuous.
-Well, it looks like we can get on this road 81 that heads down towards Dallas, then cut over to...
-I don't want to go that way. Find a way that we don't have to go through Texas.
-Wait. What? You want to go to Mexico from Oklahoma and you don't want to go through Texas?
-You know how I feel about Texas... We're not going that way.
-I know, Louise, but we're running for our lives! Don't you think you could make an exception just this once?! I mean, look at the map. The only thing between Oklahoma and Mexico is Texas!
-Thelma! I'm not gonna talk about this! Now find another way or give me the goddamn map and I will! You understand?
-He's got a lot to be proud of.
-Louise and Darryl don't get along.
-That's puttin' it mildly.
-She thinks he's a pig.
-Yup. That's him goin'. I love to watch him go.
-I don't care what you say about him. The boy has got it bad.
-He's always got it bad as long as I'm running in the other direction. Don't be fooled, he's no different than any other guy. He knows how to chase and that's it. Once he's caught you, he don't know what to do. So he runs away.
-So what are you gonna tell him?
-Nothing. I'm not gonna tell him a thing. The least I can do is not make him an accessory any more than he already is.
-I didn't ask him to come! It's like I said, Thelma, he just loves the chase.
-Well boy, he's got his work cut out for him now, don't he?
-Put a lid on it, Thelma! It's hard enough as it is. Just let me get this part over with. Now stay here and guard the money. If there's any problem I'm in room 115.
-How do I look?
-You're a vision, Louise, a goddamn vision of loveliness, you always are.
-What happened to your hair?
-What's wrong with you?
-Nothing. Why? Do I seem different?
-Yes, now that you mention it. You seem crazy. Like you're on drugs.
-Well, I'm not on drugs. But I might be crazy.
-Oh, Thelma. Oh, no.
-I mean I finally understand what all the fuss is about. This is just a whole 'nother ball game!
-Thelma, please get a hold of yourself. You're making a spectacle.
-You know, Louise, you're supposed to be my best friend. You could at least be a little bit happy for me. You could at least pretend to be slightly happy that for once in my life I have a sexual experience that isn't completely disgusting.
-I'm sorry. I am happy. I'm very happy for you. I'm glad you had a good time. It's about time. Where is he now?
-Taking a shower.
-Eighty-eight dollars ain't gonna make a dent, baby girl.
-Don't worry about it. You want anything?
-Drive! Drive away!
-I'm sorry. Well, we need the money. Now we have it.
-Oh shit, Thelma!! Shit! Shit! Shit!
-Now you get a grip, Louise! Just drive us to Goddamn Mexico, will ya!
-Okay. Shit, Thelma! What'd you do? I mean, what did you say?
-Holy shit.
-For the first time in my life, I wish this car wasn't green.
-Are you sure we should be driving like this? In broad daylight and everything?
-No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and the scene of our last Goddamn crime!
-Oooooweee!! You shoulda seen me! Like I'd been doin' it all my life! Nobody would ever believe it.
-You think you've found your calling?
-You're disturbed.
-So what's the plan, Thelma? You just gonna stay drunk?
-Try to.
-Ugh!! Why do they have to do that?
-Thelma.
-Yeah.
-I want you to call Darryl.
-What for?
-To find out if he knows anything. If you think he does, you gotta hang up because it means the police have told him and the phone is probably tapped.
-Jeez, Louise, tapped the phone? You think so?
-Oh, come on! Murder one and armed robbery, Thelma!
-Murder one! God, Louise, can't we even say it was self-defense?
-But it wasn't! We got away! We were walkin' away!
-They don't know that! It was just you and me there. I'll say he raped me and you had to shoot him! I mean, it's almost the truth!
-It won't work.
-Why not?!
-Besides, what do we say about the robbery? No excuse for that. No such thing as justifiable robbery.
-Fill her up. There's a phone right over there.
-That J.D. kid is a little shit.
-How'd they find out we're going to Mexico, Thelma, how they know that?
-I... I...
-I just told him if he ever gets to Mexico to look us up. I asked him not to tell. I didn't think he would tell anybody.
-Just stop talkin' to people, Thelma! Stop bein' so open! We're fugitives now. Let's behave that way!
-Louise? Where are we?
-Just past Boise City.
-Idaho?
-Oklahoma, Thelma. We're crossing into New Mexico.
-Now what?
-Now what what?
-Whaddo we do?
-Oh, I don't know, Thelma. I guess maybe we could turn ourselves in and spend our lives trading cigarettes for mascara so we can look nice when our families come to visit us on Saturdays. Maybe we could have children with the prison guards.
-Can I ask you kind of a weird question?
-Yeah.
-Of all the things in the world that scare you, what's the worst thing that scares you the most?
-You mean now or before?
-Before.
-I guess I always thought the worst thing that could happen would be to end up old and alone in some crummy apartment with one of those little dogs.
-What little dogs?
-You know those little dogs you see people with?
-Like a Chihuahua?
-Those, too, but you know those little hairy ones? Those flat-faced little fuckers with those ugly goddamned teeth?
-Oh yeah. You mean Peek-a-poos.
-Yeah. Those. That always put the fear of God in me. What about you?
-Well, to be honest, the idea of getting old with Darryl was kinda startin' to get to me.
-I can see that.
-I mean, look how different he looks just since high school. It's bad enough I have to get old, but doin' it with Darryl around is only gonna make it worse. I mean, I don't think he's gonna be very nice about it.
-Well, now, maybe you won't have to.
-This is so beautiful.
-Gosh. It sure is.
-I always wanted to travel. I just never got the opportunity.
-Look! Look who it is, Thelma. I'll be darned. What's he doin' way out here.
-Oh, Christ. I hate this guy.
-What?
-Nothing. It's not funny.
-What?!
-Harlan.
-What?! What about him?!
-Just the look on his face when you... ... it's not funny.
-Boy, he wasn't expectin' that!
-Thelma!
-I don't want to talk about it! Thelma, I'm not kidding! Don't you even...
-I'm warning you, Thelma. You better drop it right now! I don't want to talk about it!
-What do we do? What do you want to do?!
-I don't know! Shit! Let's just play it by ear. He may not know. He may just give me a ticket.
-I told you to slow down. Hell, Officer, I told her to slow down.
-I am really sorry about this.
-I swear, before yesterday, neither one of us would have ever pulled a stunt like this. But if you ever met my husband, you'd know why I just can... You wanna step out of the car, please? You wanna put your hands on your head, please? Louise, shoot the radio.
-What?
-Sorry!
-Ready?
-I know it's crazy, Louise, but I just feel like I've got a knack for this shit.
-Louise... are we still going to Mexico?
-Well, I figure if you take a state policeman, shoot up his car, take his gun and lock him in the trunk, it's best to just get on out of the state if you can.
-I don't want to see any more beef jerky. I mean the next beef jerky you hand me is going out the window. It's drivin' me crazy. The whole car smells like it.
-It's good. It's what the pioneers ate.
-And I don't want any more Wild Turkey, either. It's burning a hole in my stomach.
-Okay, okay... I've got some tequila. You want some tequila?
-You do?
-Yeah, you want it?
-Shit. I'm gettin' tired.
-I think I've really fucked up. I think I've got us in a situation where we could both get killed. Why didn't we just go straight to the police.
-You know why. You already said.
-What'd I say again?
-Nobody would believe us. We'd still get in trouble. We'd still have our lives ruined. And you know what else?
-What?
-That guy was hurtin' me. And if you hadn't come out when you did, he'd a hurt me a lot worse. And probably nothin' woulda happened to him. 'Cause everybody did see me dancin' with him all night. And they woulda made out like I asked for it. And my life woulda been ruined a whole lot worse than it is now. At least
-I said all that?
-No, Louise, you said the first part. I said all the rest.
-Louise?
-Yes, Thelma?
-You're not gonna give up on me, are ya?
-What do you mean?
-You're not gonna make some deal with that guy, are you? I mean, I just wanna know.
-No, Thelma. I'm not gonna make any deals.
-Thelma, that is not an option.
-But I don't know... something's crossed over in me and I can't go back. I mean, I just couldn't live...
-He said they're charging us with murder.
-Eeuww.
-And we have to decide whether we want to come out of this dead or alive.
-Louise, do you think we should change cars, get another car?
-Sure... You know how to hotwire a car?
-No.
-You awake?
-You could call it that. My eyes are open.
-Me too. I feel awake.
-Good.
-We'll be drinkin' margaritas by the sea, Mamasita.
-We can change our names.
-We can live in a hacienda.
-I wanna get a job. I wanna work at Club Med.
-Yes! Yes! Now what kind of deal do you think that cop can come up with to beat that?
-It'd have to be pretty good.
-We should head a little further in. There's not that many roads in this state. I want to try to hit Mexico somewhere not so close to New Mexico. They probably wanna kill us in New Mexico.
-Oh my God! Louise! Look! Look! See if that's him!
-It's him. He's got California plates. It's the same guy.
-I mean really! That business with your tongue. What is that? That's disgusting!
-And, oh my God, that other thing, that pointing to your lap? What's that supposed to mean exactly? Does that mean pull over, I want to show you what a big fat slob I am or...
-Hey. Where'd you learn to shoot like that?
-You know what's happened, don't you?
-What?
-We've gone insane.
-I guess we shoulda made some kinda plan for what to do if we get caught.
-How far are we from Mexico?
-About two hundred and fifty miles.
-Shit!
-Shit!
-What?!
-What?! What d'you think?!
-We probably shoulda filled up the car before we blew up that truck.
-Why?
-They'll probably catch us when we have to stop for gas!
-I know this whole thing was my fault. I know it is.
-There's one thing you oughta understand by now, Thelma, it's not your fault.
-Louise... no matter what happens, I'm glad I came with you.
-You're a good friend.
-You too, sweetie, the best.
-I guess I went a little crazy, huh?
-No... You've always been crazy. This is just the first chance you've had to really express yourself.
-I guess everything from here on in is going to be pretty shitty.
-Unbearable, I'd imagine.
-I guess everything we've got to lose is already gone anyway.
-Louise!
-What?!
-What in the hell is that up there?
-Where?!
-What in the hell is it?!
-Isn't it beautiful?!!
-God! It looks like the Army!
-Now what?
-We're not giving up, Thelma.
-Then let's not get caught.
-What are you talkin' about?
-Go.
-You're a good friend.
-We been seein' you all along the way.
-What? What are you talkin' about?
-You women are crazy!
-I'm not apologizing for shit!
-Say you're sorry.
-Are you going to apologize or not?
-Hi!
-Hi there! You alright?
-We're fine! How are you?
-Where you goin'?
-Oh, Jesus!
-You probably even called us beavers on your CB radio, didn't you?
-Yeah... sure did.
-Hey, shit-for-brains, be careful not to scratch that thing, huh?
-What?
-You heard me. You already put a fucking nick in my piano.
-I'll try to be more careful.
-S'matter with you? You look like you're fading.
-The thing's kind of heavy.
-Heavy? Heavy?! What I wouldn't give to know what heavy feels like, you insensitive prick.
-No, I just meant...
-Isn't that just my luck -- I get caught for everything.
-So you admit it?
-Well, uh, can you tell us his name?
-This wasn't your first time, was it, Ted? How many we talking?
-No harm, no foul?
-Did you get my letter, Mare? The one about Ted?
-You sent that?
-Uh-huh. I was worried about you.
-Well... thank you. But... you know you're not supposed to be within four hundred yards of me.
-That's what I want to tell ya. I've been through two years of extensive psychotherapy and you know what? You were right -- I needed help.
-Look at me, Mary. On my mother's soul, on God above, on everything that is holy to me, I did not steal your shoes.
-Woogie, I caught you red-handed.
-I'm asking you to leave.
-Oh, Mary, honey, you're taking this all wrong. I'm not leaving...
-...Not until I get a little something to remember you by.
-Stop it!
-Gay? He said you were gay?
-He implied it.
-Well you're a writer, and a lot of writers are gay. Look at Truman Capote.
-Yeah, but he was successful.
-Come on, that wouldn't make me gay.
-I'm going to fix you up with my new assistant.
-You're leaving it out. Finish your swing. You're going to like this one -- she's half Asian, half American.
-Good-looking?
-What's the point? Let's face it, Dom, I'm in a slump. Lately I've been feeling like... well... like a loser.
-Give me a break. Remember five years ago, when your kidneys failed? If you were a loser would they have been able to find a donor with an exact tissue match? What are the odds of that, one in a million?
-Oh, so I'm lucky because my brother got killed in an explosion?
-It must be great with a wife like that.
-Each day is better than the next. Have you ever been, you know... in love with someone?
-Nah.
-Never?
-Mary again.
-Look, I admit it was brief, but it was definitely love. Crushes don't last twelve years.
-Whatever happened to Mary?
-I told you, her family moved to Miami.
-I mean since then.
-I don't know.
-Well why don't you look her up?
-Yeah, right.
-Why not?
-Because I guarantee she's married and has a couple kids. Girls like Mary don't stay single.
-What if you're wrong? You just said she's the only girl you ever loved, what have you got to lose by calling her?
-I did try calling her. A few years ago. She wasn't listed.
-So that was it? One bump in the road and you gave up?
-I also called Unsolved Mysteries.
-You're kidding? What did they say?
-They told me they don't help out stalkers. Look, maybe they're right, it's been a long time.
-I don't know about this, Dom.
-Relax, this guy owes me a big one. A couple years ago he got in a jam up in the Boston office; some bullshit about padding his resume -- like we haven't all done that. Anyway, they were going to let him go but his mother wrote a tear-jerker letter that ended up on my desk.
-His mother?
-Yeah, I guess he still lives with her. Seemed like a sweet lady -- got diabetes or something -- so I went out on a limb and got him transferred down to Providence.
-And you think he could find out her number for me?
-That's it, I'm making an oath. I'll never procrastinate about anything again. Life is too fucking short.
-Hey, look on the bright side --
-What's that, Dom? What's the bright side?
-Well... at least now you know.
-What's so funny?
-Wait a second, I never told you that.
-Maybe you're right. I should look on the bright side. I mean, I've still got my health... I'm out of here. I've got to get up at six a.m. to move my boss's brother into his apartment.
-What? On your day off? Do you even know the guy?
-Never met him.
-Jesus, Ted, you've got to finish that damn novel so you can quit that stupid magazine.
-Mary's a babe!
-What?
-My Mary -- she's not in Japan, she's single, and she's got no rugrats. She does have a little gambling problem, she plays the football cards a bit too much, but she's a babe, a surgeon babe!
-Huh? But why did Healy?
-No You mean...?
-Uh-huh.
-The lazy fuck just didn't bother to look her up.
-Well then you've got to call her, man.
-You are one lucky sonofabitch, you know that?
-I am?
-Didn't they tell you? That hitcher was just about to cut your throat when you stopped to take a leak. You got a fucking horseshoe up your ass, man.
-How the hell did you get here anyway?
-Shoot.
-Remember our friend Healy? Well, I didn't know where to mail his last paycheck so I sent my assistant by his mother's apartment. Turns out there is no diabetic mom. Landlord said she's been dead for ten years.
-And this adversely affects me how...?
-Fuck me. Let's go home.
-Well? What are you waiting for?
-I don't know what to say.
-Tell her the truth about Healy! Blow the schmuck out of the water.
-Oh God, I'm fucking nervous. I don't know if I'm ready for this, man.
-Just relax. Have you hit the cash machine?
-Got cash.
-Car clean? Plenty of gas?
-Check.
-Mints?
-Okay, sounds like you're all set. Just clean the pipes and it's a go.
-Hm?
-You know, clean the pipes.
-Pipes? What are you talking about?
-Think about it: After you've had sex with a girl and the two of you are laying in bed, are you nervous?
-Why's that?
-Wrong. It's because you ain't got the baby batter in your brain any more. That'll fuck with your head, that stuff will.
-Huh.
-The most honest moment in a man's life is the five minutes after he's blown a load. That's a medical fact. And it's because you're no longer trying to get laid. You're actually thinking like a girl. They love that.
-Jesus Christ you're right.
-You bet your ass I'm right. You don't go out with a loaded gun, you empty the barrels!
-Holy shit, I've been going out with a loaded gun!
-Dom? What are you?
-Dom Wooganowski. Duh.
-But but you're married. You have kids a great wife.
-So... I see you made the news.
-It wasn't my truck -- I was helping out a guy in a wheelchair.
-Uh-huh. Where was he?
-Out getting coffee.
-Bob, do you remember Mary?
-Who?
-Mary.
-A convention? How'd you see her at a convention?
-Why don't you be a gentleman and ask Rosey?
-Who?
-Woogie from Borrington high? Sounds like a loser.
-I got twenty bucks says you're full of shit.
-Oh come on, why would I lie?
-This is a good one, Mare. Sounds like his partner's all lubed up.
-You mean he doesn't like bad guys.
-'That right?
-He can tell you're an animal nut. You are, aren't ya?
-Would you like a glass of tea or something?
-Would you like a little clam-dip, honey?
-We're in love with your roommate.
-Healy you dog!
-Fucking Sully! Look at you!
-Here's the info you asked for.
-Thanks.
-You should thank me -- that girl was not easy to find. What'd she scam you out of-some insurance dough?
-Nah, some guy threw me a few bucks to track down his high school girlfriend.
-Stalker, huh?
-Very nice.
-Okay? With this pad, the killer wheels? Looks like you really cleaned up your act.
-What can I tell you? It's a healthier lifestyle down here, and it's easier to succeed when your head's clear. Those guys I worked with back in Boston, they were a bad influence.
-Fuckin' animals. Hey, what do you say we go grab a couple drinks.
-Not for me, buddy. I don't drink anymore.
-Take it easy, that's Bill.
-Tell Bill to get the fuck off!
-Nineteen months I been sober.
-What are you talking about? You were never an alky, you were a cokehead.
-Yeah, well when you quit blow, you gotta quit the booze, too.
-Here, just have one of these then.
-Healy, what I just tell you?
-This is a light beer. You can't have a light beer?
-I'm worried about you, man. You better learn to have a pop once in a while or you're gonna fall off the wagon. You're being a fanatic and that ain't healthy.
-Am I?
-Jesus, you know what? This shit doesn't even taste good to me anymore.
-Hello...? Sully...? Sully, that you?
-Who the fuck is it to you?
-Uh, I'm fine. Just wanted to let you know I'll have your car back in a couple hours, I'm still staking out this girl's apartment.
-So where the hell are you, Healy?
-Ah, I got a date tonight with that Mary girl I told you about.
-The sawbones?
-Oh yeah.
-Why didn't you just tell her the truth?
-But Jesus, Pat, if she's as special as you say, she's going to want to hear about the things you did.
-The bottom line is, I'm not going to use my philanthropy as some form of currency... especially after what I did. I lied to this poor girl. Lied, man. She deserved better.
-Hey, love will make you do fucked-up things.
-I'm just saying I don't mind a guy with a bit of a beer belly. It means he's a guy. You can have those pretty boys who hang out in a gym all day staring at their reflections.
-Yeah, don't talk in someone's backswing.
-I'm gonna get a soda, you want one?
-Oh cripes. Do you have change for a dollar? All I have is these stupid Nepalese coins.
-Nepal? Have you been?
-Not in months. I don't even know why I bought the damn place.
-You own a home there?
-Well... it's just a condo really. Right outside Katmandu.
-Wow. That's a place I've always wanted to go. Is it true the mountains are so tall you can't see the tops?
-Here. Spend it on your trip to Katmandu.
-Well, it was nice meeting you, again.
-Same here again.
-By the way, what's your name?
-Don't you want to know my name?
-I already know it, Mary.
-How'd you know that?
-What are you doing with all these blueprints?
-Some buildings I'm working on.
-Are you... an architect?
-I'm kidding. Yeah, I guess you could call me an architect -- it's just a job really, a way to keep me moving. My real passion is my hobby.
-What's that?
-I work with retards.
-I beg your pardon?
-You know... ...the guys who ride the short bus.
-Isn't that a little politically incorrect?
-The hell with that. No one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with.
-No, I mean
--- There's this one kid, we call him Mongo on account of he's a mongoloid. He got out of his cage once and --
--- He's in a cage?!
-Well it's more of an enclosure really.
-They keep him confined? That's bullshit!
-That's what I said, so I went out and got him a leash you know, one of those clothesline runners for the backyard. He's got plenty of room out there to dig. The kid's really blossomed. Now I can take him to ball games, movies -- you know, happy stuff.
-That sounds like fun.
-Yeah, it's fun for them, but it's heaven for me. Those goofy bastards are just about the best thing I have in this crazy old world. Ooh, hey, I gotta run.
-Oh, Pufferball likes his little tum- tum rubbed, doesn't he now?
-Sorry, Pat, out of beer. You like vodka?
-Fine. Fine.
-The museum? I thought we were going out to dinner?
-We will, but first I have a surprise.
-A surprise?
-I know he's around here someplace.
-What say we get outta here and go crush a bucket?
-Is this one art deco or art nouveau?
-Deco.
-Would you call that a portico or a vestibule?
-That...? Vestibule.
-How about -- ?
-That grandmother of yours -- she's really something.
-Magda? She's not my grandmother -- actually she rents the apartment right next to mine. Her husband passed away a couple years ago so she doesn't like to be alone.
-And it doesn't cramp your style?
-Sadly, no. Well except for the lint.
-Lint?
-You know, sometimes I wish I could be like Magda and not go home. I'd like to just bounce around for awhile, do a little traveling...
-Ah, I'd sell that. Start fresh in a new place, quit the architect game, slow things down, read more books, see more movies...
-You're a movie buff?
-Try to be. It's tough going with the crap they make today. If Dumb and Dumber's the best they've got to offer I say thanks but no thanks.
-Have you seen it?
-No. But the Boston Globe critic Jay Carr hated it.
-A fucking moron.
-Harold and Maude is my all-time favorite movie.
-Ouch. Come on, don't bust my chops. I know it's corny, but I do love it.
-Pat, I'm not kidding. I really think it's the greatest --
-Yeah.
-So...
-Yeah... I guess this is it, huh?
-I guess.
-Mary ah, forget it.
-What?
-No, forget it, it was stupid.
-Come on, what were you going to say?
-Fuck!!
-Turn it up, Magda.
-All set.
-How's my stomach taste, she says. Hey thanks for picking up the lunch tab, Mare. Sorry I forgot my wallet. I feel like a dog.
-Urrggghh...
-Are you okay?
-Not to worry. So... see you tonight, right? Right?
-No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Hi, I'm out drinking champagne and roses... and I'm really happy. Leave a message. BEEP.
-Woogie, please, you're starting to scare me.
-I say none of us leave this room until our young Mary here stops jerking us around and decides once and for all who she wants. Now Mary, I know this is difficult but you really will be doing them all a favor to tell them the truth about us.
-So, Dom tells me you're looking for some lady-friend you knew in high school.
-Uh-huh.
-Any idea where I might start looking?
-She moved to Miami Beach twelve years ago. I checked directory assistance down there and she's not listed. She might've moved ten times since then.
-All you want is a phone number?
-Well, I know you're busy...
-Don't play games with me, Ted.
-I don't know, maybe you could poke around for a half day and see if she has five kids and a Labrador.
-I don't buy it.
-Ted, I'm the kind of guy who shoots from the hip. Now I want you to level with me: Did you knock this skirt up?
-No.
-She's blackmailing you, right?
-No.
-You want her dead, don't you?
-You can't be serious.
-Do you really expect me to believe this is a straight stalker case?
-I'm not a stalker! She's a friend of mine.
-Sure she is. That's why she got an unlisted number and you haven't heard squat from her in a dozen years. Oh you're good, Ted. You're a real piece of work.
-Look, let's forget it. Let's forget the whole thing.
-I get one hundred a day plus expenses.
-I've got some very, very good news for you, my friend.
-I think your life's about to change.
-So you found Mary?
-Right there in Liberty City. And you were right, she's really something.
-So she hasn't changed?
-That I couldn't say. Let me ask you something: Was she a little big-boned in high school?
-No, not at all.
-Mary's a little chubby, huh?
-But you know, you shit out a bunch of kids, you're going to put on a few pounds.
-So she's married?
-Nope. Never been.
-Huh?
-Four kids, three different guys.
-Three different guys?
-Well I'm guessing. There's a black kid, two whites, and a midget.
-Oh my.
-Hyperactive little fuckers, too. Tough to keep up with in a wheelchair, I bet.
-Don't look so shocked, it's been a long time. I bet you've changed a lot over the last twelve years, haven't you?
-It's just that... Mary. I wouldn't have thought...
-Thanks, Healy. Good work.
-Ted? Don't you want the name of the housing project?
-Uh, that's okay.
-What are you doing?
-Miami?
-Yeah, this insurance business is too slow for me. I'm going to go down and try my hand at jai alai.
-Jai alai?
-Look, uh, I've been thinking about everything you told me.
-Good good.
-Well I think you're right, I should look her up.
-Rollerpig? Are you nuts?
-But you said she was a sparkplug...?
-All the same, I still want to call her. I know it sounds crazy -- Mary sure has a lot of troubles in her life -- but, I don't know, maybe I can help her out. The poor thing's had it tough -- she's in a wheelchair for Godsakes.
-It's a goddamn bunion. It'll heal.
-Okay, tell you what: I'll get her number for you just as soon as she gets back from Japan.
-Japan? What's she doing in Japan?
-Mary's a mail-order bride?
-Hey, hey, hey!
-You fucked me, man? Why would you do that?
-What do you mean 'why'?
-Look, you asked me to follow your girl around, and I did and I started to like her, and then I realized I just couldn't in good conscience do it.
-Do what?
-Turn her over to a stalker.
-What?! You're calling me a stalker?
-Oh Christ... poor dog.
-You're a sick man, you know that?
-Yeah well fuck you! You just can't stand the fact that it was my turn.
-Your turn?
-Well you didn't have to blow us both out of the water. Jesus Christ, just because she found out about you, why'd you have to take me down with you?
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-I'm talking about the letter, asshole.
-Are you telling me you didn't send Mary a letter outlining our deal?
-Pleasure to meet you, Patrick.
-Mainly I work out of Boston.
-Boston, huh? Did you get your degree up there?
-Yes yes, I did get my degree up there.
-Harvard?
-You bet.
-Did you study under Kim Greene?
-Among others.
-Kim and I are close friends!
-Well, I'll tell her I ran into you.
-Really? But he's been married for twenty years -- they've got six kids.
-Have you been to Let's see -- Santiago, Chile?
-Absolutely! I was there twice last year. Which building is yours?
-Do you know the... soccer stadium?
-Did you build the Estadio Olympico?
-No... just down the street, the Amigo Tower.
-I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with it. What style?
-You know, I really should take your card.
-Okay, Pat, take it easy -- don't do anything stupid.
-Whoa, whoa -- I don't know what you're talking about.
-That stalker Ted got to you, right? You're working for him, aren't you, you little shit?
-You what?
-I'm a phony -- just like you, man.
-What do you mean?
-I mean I'm a fucking fraud. I'm no architect. Don't be a putz -- who's been to Santiago twice in a year? Estadio Olimpico -- please!
-But... but you knew people at Harvard.
-I knew shit. The only thing I knew was that you were a fake and I made up everything else. My real name's Norm. I deliver pizzas.
-...So then in '94 I went back to Dade Community College for a semester and when the Wal-Mart cashier job fell through I hooked up with the Pizza Barn.
-And you met Mary how?
-Just dumb luck. I delivered a pie to her one night and she answered the door in her nightgown -- that was it for me. I went home that night, shaved my beard, and a week later I was laid out in her office with a broken back.
-How'd you manage that one?
-Friend. Baseball bat.
-Nice.
-Oh yeah, the plan was going along just fine until you showed up.
-Hey, hey, hey, I'm not the one who started telling bald-faced lies about the competition -- that's crossing the line!
-What line? The day you first laid your oily rap on my future wife you started a war!
-Future wife? Get real, man -- you're nothing more than a glorified brother in her eyes.
-That stalkin' son-of-a-bitch!
-How many is that?
-Four.
-That seems like a lot of speed for a little pooch -- you sure it won't kill him?
-Ho-ly shit.
-Hey, this is a pretty nice place.
-You little fuck.
-What?
-I swear! I didn't tell her nothing! You probably did it yourself, you piece of shit.
-Oh that makes a lot of sense. Why would I rat myself out?
-Like I'm going to try to figure out a guy who's idea of courting is blowing farts in the chick's face
-You were following us?
-Oh... Sully.
-Thanks for picking me up.
-No prob, I could use the company. I've been on the road going on fifteen hours straight.
-I know how you feel -- I been standing in the same spot for the last five hours. You know it's against the law to pick up a hitchhiker in this state.
-That must make it tough.
-Sucks. So what's up? You some kind of salesman or something?
-Nah. I'm... I'm nothing.
-Oh. Well I am.
-Hm?
-A salesman -- that's what I am. I mean, I'm gonna be anyway. I'm starting my own company -- video sales -- just as soon as I get enough seed money.
-'That right? Good for you.
-Yeah, you wouldn't believe my idea -- it's a home run. You ever hear of Eight-Minute Abs?
-The exercise tape? Sure, I've seen it on T.V.
-I see where you're going.
-Think about it. You walk into a video store and you see Eight-Minute Abs and right next to it you see Seven- Minute Abs -- which one you gonna spring for?
-I'd go with the seven.
-Bingo. Especially since we guarantee you'll get every bit as good a work- out.
-How do you guarantee that?
-Well it's the company motto: 'If you ain't happy we'll send you the extra minute.'
-No, it should be 'a hockey player with great pecs.'
-I can live with those reflections.
-I'm sick of these calorie-countin' pansies. Give me a guy who likes kielbasa and beer and playing thirty- six holes and still has enough energy to take me and Warren out to a ballgame.
-Jeez, I don't know where you're ever going to find a guy like that.
-Yeah, and you'd probably dump the poor guy halfway to Katmandu.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-It means you're too hard on guys.
-No I'm not.
-Yeah, Steve. Steve was all right for awhile.
-I don't know, it was complicated. He's in San Francisco, I'm in Miami. Besides, Magda's psychic dog hated him.
-Is that old crab still with you? Mary, you said you were putting her up for a month -- it's been a year and a half.
-What? Steve seemed to put up with Warren.
-Have you been up all night again?
-Bet your ass I have. It's an important job, Neighborhood Watch is.
-Neighborhood Watch? Is that what you call listening in on stranger's phone conversations?
-These ain't strangers, they're neighbors. This only picks up signals in a half-mile radius.
-Meaning?
-Meaning these are the people you live amongst, you got a right to know if they're creeps. For instance, did you know there's a guy down the hall cheating on his wife?
-You picked that up on the scanner. We gotta move.
-Magda, Puffy barks at everybody.
-That's because there's a lot of bad people out there. Hey, Puffy tried to warn you about that Steve guy you was seeing -- he was a fucking asswipe -- but you had to find out for yourself, didn't you?
-Jesus, Mary, you gotta hear this -- some cop's staking out this broad's apartment.
-So who's the lucky guy?
-Name's Patrick, I met him at the driving range.
-Good lookin'?
-What's he like?
-I don't know. He's kind of a mook.
-What's a mook?
-You know, a mookalone, a schlep.
-Then why you going out with him if he's a schlep?
-Come on, Magda It's like that movie Harold and Maude.
-I don't watch the new ones.
-This one's almost thirty years old. It's about a young kid and an old lady who fall in love.
-The point is, love isn't about money or social standing or age, it's about connecting with someone, having things in common kindred spirits.
-Sure. Uh, Magda, why don't you get some more cheese and crackers...?
-Bundt cake?
-Hey hey, what did you say Pat's last name was?
-I'm buying bananas tonight.
-Why?
-Back when I was your age I always used to make myself a big banana split after sex. I think you're gonna need one tonight.
-Don't bet on it. Last time I had a pap smear the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.
-So maybe I could find a nice gentleman to take you to the movies.
-Knock it off, Pollyanna, just 'cause you're in love doesn't mean everyone else has to be.
-Love? Come on, I wouldn't call it love.
-An old flame?
-You vicious bitch, how do you sleep at night?
-Holy shit...
-Magda!
-Oh, hi hon. Just straightening up.
-Where's Puffy?
-Pat's an architect, too.
-Pat does projects all over the world.
-What's up, Doc?
-You don't think they're too big?
-He's a nice guy, isn't he?
-Not long at all, but I really like him. Okay, I know he's a little different, Tucker, but that's what I like about him. He's a guy. A real guy. He dresses like a dork and eats corndogs and he isn't always politically correct and he probably farts, too. And that's okay with me.
-That's what you've been looking for -- a farter?
-I've been looking for a guy -- not one of these South Beach pussies.
-I thought so. Anyway, I hope you don't think I'm being meddlesome. I just think you should be careful with this guy.
-No no no, Tucker, thank you.
-I mean let's face it, Mary, you're beautiful, you've got money, you trust people -- I'm just saying, there's a lot of psychos out there.
-Can I pour you one?
-What's up?
-I think you'd better sit down.
-Tucker, I appreciate you doing all this, but I'm really strapped for time here and --
-What...?
-I can't believe this is happening. I'm supposed to be meeting him in an hour.
-Magda's right, I'm so lucky to have you in my life.
-Don't get all gooey on me now, you'll give me a big head. The important thing, Doctor, is you've got to distance yourself as much as possible without pissing this psycho off.
-Uh, well... not exactly. You see, I exaggerated a little there.
-Name's Norm. I live up in Pompano with my folks.
-Oh yeah. Fine.
-Hey, you're limping. Did you just hurt yourself?
-No, it's an old football injury.
-Oh, are you on the team?
-Oh he can hold you. He weighs two- hundred-and-thirty pounds.
-So who you taking to the prom?
-Huh?
-The prom -- you going?
-Oh, I don't know. I think proms are pretty dumb.
-'Cause I thought maybe you and I could go if you weren't already taking someone.
-Hi, Ted.
-I'm sorry. I should've told you, he's got a thing about his ears.
-Oh. Okay. I gotcha.
-Are you all right?
-Ted, are you okay?
-Ted, I'm so sorry. Are you going to be okay?
-You asshole, what are you -- Mary! Is that you?
-Oh my God... Ted. What are you...? I can't believe this. I haven't seen you since --
-Yup, that's right. Junior prom... kinda.
-And did everything -- ?
-I can't believe he remembered you. He never remembers anybody. You know I tried to call you for weeks after that.
-Really? I never got a message.
-By the way, how's he doing?
-He's dead.
-Oh, Ted I'm so sorry to hear that.
-Oh. So... what brings you down here?
-Well you look great. Are you married, do you have kids?
-Nope, nope -- dodged a few bullets. God, I cannot believe I'm standing here with Mary Jenson.
-Actually, it's Mary Brooks now.
-Oh... are you... ?
-Nope, haven't walked the plank yet. There was this guy back in college who was bothering me... got kind of ugly -- a restraining order, the whole bit. Anyway, when I got out of Princeton I changed my name as a precaution.
-I'm kidding. I'd really love to, Ted, but the thing is I already have plans. How about tomorrow night?
-Hey.
-Hi, Ted.
-You look great.
-What's that?
-Hm?
-Sure.
-Now by killer, you mean...?
-I mean he murdered someone and did time back in Boston. The guy's a freak.
-Jeez, Mary... I'm...
-You hit the ball pretty good for a fourteen.
-We should play some time... I mean, if you can afford to lose some money.
-What are you?
-Twenty-two.
-Okay, sometimes I'm a nineteen.
-Nitrate-sicles -- I like that.
-I say they should put more meats on a stick, you know? They got a lot of sweets on sticks -- popsicles, fudgesicles, lollipops -- but hardly any meat.
-You know what I'd like to see? Meat in a cone. You could put corned beef hash in a cone, or chopped liver.
-I like it. And think of the toppings -- cheese, mushrooms, mint jelly
-It's too bad you don't live down here, Ted.
-Yeah?
-Well... why don't you move back?
-So you're a writer?
-Trying to be.
-Well good for you. I bet it works out for you.
-We'll see. If it doesn't, what the hell, at least I gave it a shot.
-That's right. And the good thing is you can do it anywhere.
-What about you, Mare? How the hell'd you manage to stay single?
-...and then it was all over. We haven't spoken since.
-Wow. That's too bad. He sounds almost perfect.
-Yeah... almost. You want to come up and watch Sportscenter?
-Ted... you're not that far ahead.
-Look, Mary, the truth is... I'll be in town for a while now but I don't think we should see each other for a few weeks.
-Why not?
-That's really sweet, Ted, but you should save it for one of your books.
-Um, Ted, I need a moment with Magda -- would you let the dog out of the bathroom.
-Uh, Mare, what kind of dog is Puffy?
-Get out.
-Wait, hold on, Mary -- it's not as bad as it sounds. I certainly didn't know --
-That you put a murderer on my trail?
-Well yeah, I didn't know much about him. I just thought --
-Mary, I swear I wasn't trying to trick you.
-Then what the fuck did you do it for?
-Please leave.
-Mary, come on...
-Go!
-Woogie and I went out for awhile in high school.
-What what are you doing here?
-Ted...?
-I... I just want you to be happy, Mary.
-But but what about Steve?
-Get over here.
-Really?
-Yeah? What do you want?
-Um, hi, I'm Ted Peloquin. I'm here to take Mary to the prom.
-Jesus Christ, guy, what the hell were you doing?!
-What seems to be the situation here? You shit yourself or something?
-I, uh... I got it stuck.
-You got what stuck?
-It.
-OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
-Shhhhhh!
-Shirley, get in here! You gotta see this!
-What?! No please, sir --
-Is it the frank or the beans?
-One guess.
-How the hell'd you get the beans all the way up top like that?
-You're looking at him. C'mere and take a look at this beauty.
-Charlie, that's mean. Come on in, Ted. Don't listen to Mr. Wise Guy here. He's a joke a minute.
-Teddy, hon, are you okay? OH HEAVENS TO PETE!
-Would you shhh! Mary's gonna hear us.
-Just relax, dear. Now, um... what exactly are we looking at here?
-What do you mean?
-No, no, please!
-Ho there.
-Oh God.
-Now I've seen it all. What the hell were you thinking?
-I wasn't trying --
-Well, there's only one thing to do.
-No, no, no, I'll be fine. I'll just hang my shirttail out and work on it in the morning.
-No! I was pissing!
-Hey.
-So what's up?
-Eh.
-It's no big deal, whatever I mean, if you want.
-See, the thing is, I heard a rumor that this guy I like was gonna ask me.
-Uh-huh.
-Okay. So is that a yes or a no?
-Piggyback ride.
-We're here, Warren. You wanna get off?
-Franks and beans!
-How are you doing, Warren?
-Good, Ted. Piggy back ride?
-See you, Warren.
-See you, Warren.
-Which is exactly what they appear to be preparing to do, Mr. President. We're tracking 26 ships inbound to Cuba. There's no sign they're changing course. The closest ships, the Gagarin and the Kimovsk, will make the quarantine line by this time tomorrow.
-We've been hailing the Groznyy for the last hour, Mr. Secretary. The Groznyy refuses to stop.
-What are you doing?
-Carrying out our mission, Mr. Secretary. If you don't mind, we're very busy right now. We need to be able to do our jobs.
-Yes, Captain, you may proceed. Clear your guns.
-Starshells.
-I believe the President made it clear that there would be no firing on ships without his express permission.
-With all due respect, Mr. Secretary, we were not firing on the ship. Firing on a ship means attacking the ship. We were not attacking the ship. We were firing over it.
-This was not the President's intention when he gave that order. What if the Soviets don't see the distention? What if they make the same mistake I just did? There will be no firing anything near ANY Soviet ships without my express permission, is that understood, Admiral?
-Yes, sir.
-This private assurance represents the word of the Highest Authority?
-Yes.
-And it can be relayed beyond Comrade Khruschev's ears to the top circles of my government
-With the caveat that it is not made public in any way, shape or form. And we must have an answer tomorrow at the latest. I cannot stress this point enough.
-Tomorrow...
-Good.
-Jesus Christ, guys. What the hell's Khruschev thinking?
-Did you have any indication of this from Georgi? Any possible warning or sense of motivation?
-He's right, Jack. Taylor is saying we may have some time. We've got to use it.
-So if there are alternatives that make sense -- and I'm not saying there are -- we need 'em. Need 'em fast.
-What about the allies? Congress? I think we may need to start letting key people know. And they're all scattered across the country for the campaign. We're going to need to get the U.N. staff in and warmed up. Jesus... I don't even know if we've got secure communications with half our embassies since that the Soviets got that cryptographer of ours.
-As if dealing with the Russians wasn't hard enough, we gotta worry about our own house.
-There's still no sign they know that we know about the missiles. Been a lot of cloud cover; probably think we aren't getting any good product.
-Lying bastard. Lied to my face.
-We're split down the middle. If I held a vote I think airstrike would beat blockade by a vote or two.
-I want a consensus, Bobby. Consensus. Either air strike or blockade. Something everyone'll stand by even if they don't like it. I need it by Saturday. Make it happen.
-Well, I'm not.
-Goddamn Stevenson. Jesus. Peace at any price. You'd think nobody learned anything from World War Two.
-Somebody had to say it. I respect Adlai for having the guts to risk looking like an appeaser.
-We have to pull him. He's not going to be able to handle the Soviets in front of the U.N. Zorin will eat him alive.
-We're going to have to stop a ship eventually, show the quarantine's got teeth, or we'll prove McCone right.
-He gets it, but he's pissed.
-We were just debating who had it worse, us or George Washington and his guys.
-He didn't have to worry about nuclear weapons.
-How does a guy get a rep like that?
-Who gives a shit about the midterms now? The Soviets are putting nuclear weapons ninety miles away from us.
-The other thing is...
-...I know. CIA and the military fucked us on the Bay of Pigs.
-They're going to be pressing for a military solution soon. We can't afford to let them ram their agenda down our throats. We need to come with options other than air strikes so we have some sort of choice here.
-I'll do it.
-It's too politicized with you in there, anyway. They need to be able to stick their necks out.
-Jack, I'm as conniving as they come, but a sneak attack is just wrong.
-What happened to speak when spoken to?
-Jesus...
-Rescind the order. Can all the Chiefs. Put Nitze, Gilpatric and the Undersecretaries in charge.
-Adlai's too weak! We have to convince Jack to pull him, get McCloy in there.
-You can't take him out this late in the game.
-Zorin will eat him alive!
-Then talk to your brother, goddamn it. The two of you don't need any advice to get into trouble.
-Oh, still sore about this.
-My father --
-Adlai can handle Zorin. He knows the inning and the score.
-Where've you been? We've been trying to find you all morning.
-Helen and I went out for breakfast. EXCOM's not supposed to convene til eight.
-We're getting everyone together as fast as we can.
-What does the letter say?
-And?
-And Jack wants to trade the missiles in Turkey.
-The Jupiters are obsolete. They were supposed to have been dismantled last summer anyway --
-All right, so maybe we overestimated how reasonable this trade would look. Okay? You happy? So now what?
-So now you've got to talk him out of it. And then we've got to figure out an acceptable political solution.
-We gave so much to get here. I don't know. Sometimes I think what the hell did we do it for?
-Slow down. Smell that?
-Smoke.
-Yeah?
-Hey, Mac. You're up bright and early.
-What's it about?
-Helen just asked me what sort of arrangements we have for the families.
-What did you think of Lippman's column this morning?
-You gotta stop 'em. We know it's Jack and Bobby's idea -- they leaked it to Lippman. The military guys are going ape, and they're not alone.
-Then they should speak up.
-Christ, Ken, you know it's not that easy.
-Yes it is.
-Jack and Bobby are good men. But it takes a certain character, moral toughness to stand up to --
--- You listen to me. Nobody, nobody, talks about my friends that way. You're fucking here right now because of the Kennedys. They may be wrong. They make mistakes. But they're not weak. The weak ones are these 'people' who can't speak their own minds.
-The sun came up today.
-Yeah.
-Every day the sun comes up... says something about us.
-I am instructed to tell you that the American Government would respond favorably to an offer along the lines you have discussed. If this solution were raised at the U.N. by Ambassador Zorin, he would find a favorable reply from Ambassador Stevenson.
-So I understand you correctly. If the missiles in Cuba were dismantled, returned to the Soviet Union, and a guarantee was made not to reintroduce them, the United States would be prepared to guarantee that it would never invade Cuba?
-That is correct.
-This is from the Highest Authority?
-Yes. From the Highest Authority. There are two conditions. The U.N. must be allowed to inspect the removal of the missiles.
-And the second condition?
-John. How much time?
-Max.
-We have high confidence in the expanded air strike option. The problem, Mr. President, is that it's a short-term solution. Khruschev can send more missiles next month. The Chiefs and I believe we should follow up the air strikes with the full version of OPLAN 316.
-An invasion...
-Is this the Chiefs' recommendation?
-How long until the army is ready?
-Guess we can't blame Khruschev for a few patriotic farmers. And the ships?
-Still heading for Cuba.
--- I have the authority. I am the commander-in-chief of the United States, and I say when we go to war!
-We are not at war, sir, not until we're at DEFCON 1.
-So which one of you geniuses can tell me how to explain ourselves to the world? How do we work with them if there's been a hard-line coup?
-Then we have no choice. General, issue the warning orders to our forces. They will be prepared to execute the air strikes Monday morning and the follow-on invasion according to the schedule thereafter. I'll need the official release orders on my desk Sunday night.
-Does this attack on our plane represent a definitive, intentional escalation on the part of the Soviets?
-Don't forget, Mrs. Higgins wants to talk to you this afternoon about Kevin. You need to do something about this.
-When are you going to be home?
-I don't know, Helen. I want you to keep the kids close tomorrow. Leave the T.V. on, sleep with it on in the bedroom until I tell you you can turn it off.
-What's happened?
-Nothing. Nothing you don't know about. Tomorrow's the big day. Just have the car ready to go if I call or if the Civil Defense Warning comes on.
-What happens to you? I'm not leaving without you.
-If you're home it means either Jack and Bobby have finally figured out what a con man you are and fired you, or --
--- we got a back channel communication from Khruschev this evening feeling us out about a deal. He confirmed it just a little while ago in a letter to the President. I think we've won.
-I saw you out there. You want him to call you back, need you.
-How's my favorite President?
-Busy. But you've got his heart.
-I want an hour with him.
-I said his heart, not his attention.
-Three weeks before midterm elections? You need me.
-Well. There is a new civil rights initiative he wants to talk about.
-Pretending there isn't a problem won't fix it. He can clear the air on Anglo American relations.
-Forget it, Scotty.
-It's Tuesday. You said to call. When do I get my 45 minutes?
-Tell you what. We're in Connecticut tomorrow for Ribicoff. I'll get you up front with him during the flight.
-Kenny! What happened? They didn't let me up front, said the President was on the phone the whole time.
-He was.
-Yeah? Who was he talking to? Acheson? Come on, O'Donnell, everyone's wondering what's going on. What's Acheson doing in town? And don't give me some bullshit about DNC think tanks. Acheson's Mr. Cold War.
-Why don't you ask him yourself? You can have him on the way home.
-There are major rail disruptions in the South, two airborne divisions are on alert. That exercise is an invasion.
-Well, you know how Bobby has it in for the State of Mississippi.
-Secretary of Defense...
-Dean Rusk!
-Hey, sport. You winning?
-I guess you won't be coming home tonight.
-Get back out there, kid. Remember to hit 'em hard.
-What about you? Where are you going?
-I was eating that.
-No you weren't.
-So what've we got today?
-Still think Cuba isn't important?
-Should be here any minute.
-No choice. This is going to cost lives any way we go. Do nothing, and it could be 80 million of ours. We have to get rid of those missiles.
-Okay. Kenny and I only show for the meetings you call us into. Impress us. And do it fast. You're in charge of keeping this quiet. If word gets out before we know what we're going to do, there'll be panic. And it'll ruin any chance of surprise if we decide to hit them.
-Call me Irish, but I don't believe in cooler heads prevailing.
-Acheson's scenario is unacceptable. And he has more experience than anyone.
-Let's get out of here.
-Have you canceled Chicago and the rest of the weekend yet?
-You don't show for Chicago, everyone'll know there's something going on.
-I don't care. Cancel it.
-I'm not calling and canceling on Daly. You call and cancel on Daly.
-You're scared to cancel on Daly.
-We have to try the blockades. It probably won't work. It may just be delaying the inevitable. But we can't just go to war without trying not to.
-You'd worry that something was wrong if Congress offered you unconditional support.
-I don't like what's happening.
-In the morning I'm taking charge of the blockade from the situation room. McNamara'll set up shop in the flag plot at the Pentagon, keep an eye on things there.
-All right. 'Cause you get armed boarders climbing into Soviet ships, shots being fired across bows...
-I know, I know...
-What about these low-level flights? They're starting in what? An hour? Do you realize what you're letting yourself in for?
-We need those flights. We have to know when those missiles become operational, because when they do, we need to destroy them.
-I'm your political advisor, and I'm giving you political analysis here. This is a setup. The Chiefs want to go in. It's the only way they can redeem themselves for the Bay of Pigs. They have to go in, and they have to do it right. It's that simple.
-How does a man get to a place where he can say, 'throw those lives away,' so easily?
-That's going to be tough. You know how these guys are about their chains of command...
-We can horsetrade with Khruschev on ships. But it doesn't get us any closer to removing those missiles.
-He's right, we can't rescind DEFCON 2. The Soviets will think we've gotten sweet on them.
-What's that?
-I don't want to listen to this again.
-If we made a trade, we'd be giving in to extortion, and NATO would never trust us again. We'll get clobbered in world opinion.
-It's a goddman trial balloon. Trial is the operative word, here.
-Jesus Christ, O'Donnell, you're the one saying we need to move forward on a political solution.
-Didn't know Adlai had it in him. Too bad he didn't have this stuff in '52.
-Hello?
-I've got to move. What do you have, Kenny?
-They know each other! Khruschev and Feklisov aka Fomin were war buddies!
-You're sure...
-Don't take it to court, but we've got good circumstantial evidence... Walter agrees. My gut's telling me Khruschev's turning to a trusted old friend to carry his message.
-We give them something. We tell them we'll remove the missiles from Turkey say, six months from now so that there appears to be no linkage. We also tell them if they go public about it, we deny it and the deal is off.
-Moving the line. Stroke of genius.
-You must think I'm blind and stupid. I've already gotten the birds and bees from Bobby. The President doesn't have to double-barrel me.
-Listen to me, goddamn it. We're talking about a possible nuclear war. You dropped the ball on Bay of Pigs --
--- you sonofabitch, goddamn it, I didn't drop --
-At least it will expose whether Khruschev has been overthrown. We'll know what we're dealing with.
-Dangle a settlement, tie us down in negotiations, we come up short...
-Why else would they approach us in this way? It's deniable. The Soviets have done nothing but lie to us. This could be more of the same.
-That may be why Khruschev's introducing this guy. We've been burned by his usual players in the formal channels, so he brings in an honest broker.
-My specialists are in agreement: this morning's letter is not Khruschev. Last night's letter was. The evidence supports only one conclusion: there has been a coup, and Khruschev was replaced overnight.
-It's transparent. The press'll be all over it.
-Bob. Bet you had a late night.
-Bob?
-Bob, is there any way we can avoid stopping a submarine first?
-Captain, force the sub to the surface for inspection.
-Mr. President! We're receiving reports that the ships are stopping!
-Captain, belay that order! Bob, where's that coming from!
-Just a second, Mr. President.
-Hey.
-Hey. Nice tie.
-Yeah.
-You're my hero, Carl.
-Heroes ain't supposed to shake. I'm shakin', man, look at me.
-Anyone stops us going in, we're with the Bowen-Hamilton Textile Company. We have rug samples.
-Rug samples.
-Jesus Christ, Larry, what the fu-- Larry. That's not even your name, is it? What's your real name, you fucking scumbag?
-I thought we were staying on the reservation.
-Yes. Rooms thirteen and fourteen are on Indian land.
-I see.
-Are you hungry? I have some nice raw kidney in the truck.
-Mr. Clear Moon.
-They're going to kill me next. That's what I hear. These new Indians are destroying everything. Our people are a quiet people.
-Now keep that between us, Dennis, cuz I don't know what kinda Johnny Law they got here.
-Brooks, what's a perceptive fellow like you, doing in a joint like this? Let me buy you a glass of some of that Russian shit you like.
-FBI? What you investigatin'?
-A murder. On the reservation.
-You know how in your big cities, you got your niggers and you got your Puerto Ricans? Well out here we got Indians. That's just the way it is.
-What are you doing?
-James Looks Twice?
-What's this about?
-Your good friend Leo Fast Elk.
-You think I killed him? Cuz he was an apple? Well, let me tell you something about Leo, Man --
-Levoi, Cooch. Raymond Levoi, Criminal Division.
-Interesting bloodline you have, Ray. French, Scots-Irish, Italian, ...and one-eighth American Indian.
-Ray, there's been a homicide out in an area known as The Badlands. Indian Reservation.
-It's not the first. There's been several. And our field office in Rapid City is getting a lot of heat... none of the investigations have turned up jack shit.
-The main problem is, Ray, these people are extremely distrustful of outsiders, non-Indians. Relations have not been amicable.
-Taking ol' Leo somewhere?
-Nice piece. You come back here to cover your tracks, Geronimo? What's your name?
-It ain't Geronimo.
-Who are you?
-I know where I am. I'm on federal land, doing a federal investigation, and if you don't wanna cooperate you can take a ride in a federal car, and spend the rest of the day in a little room, answering federal questions. It's your call. Who are you?
-I'm a full blood Oglala Sioux, born and raised on this reservation.
-We got the wire ya was comin'. You're the Indian official, yeah?
-Leo's gotta get to burial, Brother. He's gotta make the journey.
-What journey?
--- an Indian Reservation is within the jurisdiction of the Federal Bureau of Intimidation. I know that.
-Somebody must be doing something somewhere in your jurisdiction, Officer Crow Foot.
-Respect the dead, Hoss. Because when --
--- did you understand me when I said that --
--- violation of the Major Crimes Act on an Indian Reservation is within the jurisdiction of the Federal Bureau of Instigation. I know that.
-What the hell you doing?!
-South Dakota... Did I do something unsatisfactory, Sir?
-I didn't know him, Sir. He passed away when I was six.
-Those are two agents who went into a reservation a few years ago to serve a warrant. They were executed at close range. That one there is a police officer killed by the Mohawks up in Canada more recently.
-Jesus...
-Were you in Nam?
-Hey, hey, hey. J. Edgar would've loved you. He'd love anybody who joined the bureau to, what was it? "To enforce the laws of my country and protect her interests"?
-You crashed my file?
-Six rounds. 357.
-Somebody was serious about doing this guy, that's for sure.
-This is a restricted area.
-I did.
-Who the fuck is he?
-Leo has to take the journey, Cooch.
-Leo's gonna need his hands, Cooch. He does quillwork.
-Keeping of the souls. Do they still burn their dead or something?
-No. That's Ray here. Ray...
-Water. Worth killing for out here, I'd think.
-Get the plate numbers off everyone of these cars.
-Couldn't sleep.
-Maisy Blue Legs place?
-How'd you know?
-I got one up on ya.
-Go ahead.
-Meet me at base. Over.
-Who is he?
-White eagle feather through the circle. That's their symbol.
-They obviously wanted it to be known that they offed Leo. Some kind of statement.
-I'd just like five minutes alone with the motherfucker who hung that flag upside down.
-Easy, Cowboy. No vendettas on my ship. Now: remember what I told you about Nam? Watch the grass, watch the trees, watch the shit house, be on your toes, and if we get committed, don't hesitate to empty that sucker.
-What'd she say?
-She took something from the house. What she called a medicine bundle. Most likely Jimmy's.
-Let's see it.
-That's good goddamn work, Ray. Let the salmon run. Let 'em run Upriver.
-Why we setting Eagle Bear up as an informant?
-Her oil pan is shot.
-Cooch. What's the Fort Laramie Treaty?
-Cooch. Where the fuck did they send us?
-The right man? Talk to me, Ray.
-Genetic ditto on evidence found at the site with evidence you found in his belongings. An incontrovertible motive. And definite footprints on Jimmy Looks Twice at Maisy Blue Legs house.
-When did we get that?
-Today. And now you -- there's a dog in the van --
--- I know. I fed it, and I can't get rid of --
-You weren't sent here to go off on your own detail, Ray. You were sent here to assist in a Selective Operations Unit. These regional agents are inept -- that's why they were sent out here to The Graveyard, to Indian Country. I need you behind me, Ray. Not pulling against me.
-I'm not trying to pull against you, Cooch. I've just been having nightmares about the way Leo was killed.
-Your first homicide, that's gonna happen, Ray...
-I just wanna make sure no one else gets done in that way because we were in bed with the wrong doer.
-Alright. Alright...
-I'll sleep around a little.
-Thanks, Cooch.
-Bastards...
-All I could think of was... not here. I don't wanna eat it on an Indian Reservation, three thousand miles from home.
-It may have been Maggie's way of saying "get off my ass."
-She's that subtle?
-Eagle's claws and a bear's balls that's what her profile says.
-Well, she's running now, too. These fucking people like to run, don't --
-Tread matches. It's the car.
-And it was full of water when I drove by here three days ago. Full. I mean... a river.
-Jesus, you alright?
-Yeah. I... I fell asleep. I can't believe it. I --
-Never turn your radio off! I thought I was gonna find you scalped! Damn it!
-Sorry, Cooch. I lost Eagle Bear --
-Listen: when we get back tomorrow, you're gonna find Tully laying a promotion on you. S.A.C. He wants to prove that his yuppie agents are making good. He's offering you New York. Tell him you want Atlanta.
-Why?
-You ever put your hands on me again and you'll be doing the books for a baitshop in the fucking Everglades, Mister.
-You didn't tell me about Red Deer Table --
--- what the hell is Red Deer Table?
-This was a Selective Operations Unit, Agent Levoi. There is classified information pertaining to our national security. You don't question that, you don't go digging into that shit -- that's insubordination. Jesus Christ --
--- if they mine uranium there, these people will have no place left to go...
-We were sworn in on the Constitution to protect federal matters, Ray. I don't know about uranium, I don't know about Red Dog Table -- all I know is we did our job. It's over.
-We neutralized anybody with a voice. Leo, Jimmy... Eagle Bear. Anyone who was standing in the way of the land. Is that it?
-Come on, Ray. Come forward.
-Ray...
-I said when can Leo be taken to ceremony?
-What are you --
-What?!
-Hey. Hey, you, listen up --
-Big sonuvabuck. Based on the depth of that print, pressure releases... I'd say he goes two-ten, two-fifteen --
-Bullshit.
--- Well, maybe two-seventeen.
-You're trying to tell me you can read all that from a track?
-No. Not just a track. You gotta listen to the trees, man. To the leaves. To this sand, you FBI's kicked all up. You gotta listen to the earth.
-Is that right? Well, listen to this: drag your ass. This is a restricted area.
-No, this is the home of the Oglala Sioux and I want the dog-fucker who killed Leo. Whether you get him or I get him, I just want him. Shit's been goin' on too long.
-You've got no jurisdiction.
-You got no know-how. About Indian Way. Or about Jack Shit for that matter.
-Maybe you're not aware of this, Crow Horse, but I just flew in from a place called the Twentieth Century where we have such things as electrostatic tracking methods, psycholingusitics, DNA fingerprinting; I don't have to crawl around with the scorpions and talk to the fucking trees to get answers. Leo was killed right here.
-Go back to the M.E., take a look inside Leo's exit wounds and tell me how chicken feed got in there. Trust me, there ain't chickens in the Badlands. His mother's place is --
--- his mother never lived here. She was from up in North Dakota.
-I'm talkin' his spiritual mother. Maisy Blue Legs.
-His spiritual mother...
-To us Indians, our spiritual relatives are as close as family. I've got seven mothers on this reservation. Sisters. Brothers. You ain't one of them.
-Thank God. Now listen to me, asshole. I'm giving you a break. But if my partner finds out you're here, you're gonna be reading rat tracks in Sioux Falls Maximum Security.
-You're an easy man to track, Ray. Ya walk like a penguin with a hard-on.
-Is that right? What are the trees saying today?
-He sent me to find ya. He says he's got information.
-Grandpa Samuel Reaches. Heavy duty medicine.
-Why does he wanna see me?
-What did he say?
-But he is not unhappy with you because he knows you.
-He knows me?
-What's he smoke in that?
-What did he say?
-He said he doesn't know.
-What was he saying?
-Why should I tell you.
-The old man saw an owl. Over there in the dry wash. Last week.
-And...
-So what?
-The owl told him about Leo. That's incredible. I guess we just broke the back of this investigation, didn't we? Evidence doesn't get any harder than that -- not for my money. Is there anyway we can seduce this owl into Federal Court?
-He also said "listen to the water."
-Listen to the water. Listen to the owl. He also said, don't trust the fucking Cookie Monster.
-Don't be mad. That was just an old traditional gesture that means hello, how are you.
-Jimmy didn't do it, Ray. I checked it out. You can stop taggin' my sister.
-So did this one. Wambli is a rare and sacred creature. When someone finds a dead one, the feathers get around the res. We share everything. A lot of power in the eagle feathers. But you think that's bullshit too, don't --
-Was-te. 'Cept for one thing. Jimmy Looks Twice was nowhere near there. Ya see, when Jimmy was twelve years old, his mother and father was killed in a car wreck right down there near Elk Mountain.
-I don't see the connection.
-That's not solid.
-The old man? He's gonna tell you who killed Leo?
-Go catch Jimmy, Ray. Really. He's gettin' away. Go ahead, go get him. I'm late.
-Hey. Hey, those are my sunglasses you're wearing.
-I can't do that, It's a Rolex.
-Red Deer Table, Ray.
-Don't tell me: heavy duty.
-Walter. When I fill out my 302, do I say that evil spirits are killing everybody on the reservation?
-Ray --
--- no. No offense to the old man. I appreciate you trying to help. But I put my ass on the line coming out here, man.
-What'd you expect to hear?
-Not Native American myths and legends. I'm with the FBI, Walter, remember? Not National Geographic.
-What you call myths, we call our history.
-It's not real.
-What's real to you? Wall Street? Capital Hill? Now they are myths.
-I can't be dicking around here. That's all I'm saying. I don't carry crystals, I don't wanna come back in another life. I just wanna do my job, and do it right, and get the fuck outta here.
-Take care of yourself, Walter.
-Agent Little Weasel, Federal Bura of your Imagination.
-Jesus Christ. You're hammered. What are you doing?
-You're right about the old man. His power's long dried up. He's supposed to be a medicine man but he won't go see the people. He says we changed, and we don't listen. Well, he don't go out and talk no more. I haven't had a drink in three years but I just turned my sobriety chip into that man behind the bar, and
-Cut the shit. You shouldn't be in here, Man.
-Cuz I'm a skin?
-Cuz you're a cop.
-Not no more.
-What are you talking about?
-You tell me. You tell me who went to the B.I.A. -- Bureau of Indian Annihilation and said I was messin' with your case, man. I don't give a goddamn about your case.
-Still after Jimmy?
-They found prints at Blue Legs' place.
-Next time I'll be ready. You get the word to who ever it is.
-You think you was sent here cuz you're a good cop?
-Five-hundred year old turtleshell rattle...
-Crow Horse, listen --
-Where's Maggie? Where'd ya take her.
-Nowhere. I'm trying to find her.
-You got Jimmy. Let her go.
-Crow Horse, listen. You have to come with me.
-Why? So you can get rid of me, too?
-Do they come in dreams, these visions?
-Oh yeah. Dreams. Sometimes durin' sickness. Vision quest. Sweat Lodge. Ya never know when.
-Where was this?
-At Wounded Knee. I mean, that's where I was, and that's where the dream was. Why?
-You were running with the old ones. At The Knee. Heavy duty.
-Well, it was just a dream, I --
-Sonuvabuck! What's with you, Man? Who are you?
-What do you mean?
-You had a vision. You had yourself a vision. A man waits a long time for a vision. Might go his whole lifetime and never get one. And along comes some instant Indian with a Mastercard and brand-new shoes, has himself a vision.
-Sorry.
-I'm a full-blood Oglala.
-We've driven a long way. Where is this place?
-Maybe it was just a dream. Ya know, just one of them, what do ya call 'em, fitful dreams?
-Bullshit. You had a vision. You got sign from the old ones.
-What the hell do you want me to do?!
-What's that?
-Jesus. Oil?
-Uranium. Test holes. Somebody came in from the Nebraska side, and did some shotgun testin'. They're gettin' ready to suck this baby dry.
-1868...
-What?
-That's what we're doing here. National interest. National security. Only this time it's not gold. It's uranium.
-We're standin' on broken treaty ground, Ray. This ain't supposed to be here. It'll poison the water.
-Leo knew about it. Tried to tell Jimmy, get the Warriors involved.
-So they took care of Leo.
-This Clear Moon's house?
-Alright. Shit's comin' down. He's callin' council fire. All the old chiefs and the warriors, too. I gotta be at Grandpa's place in two hours. We need to get the tribe together. We need to block this thing.
-I thought it was a rare case of a brother getting a break in the courts. We did an honorin' song for him and everything.
-Ray. Ray, don't let go now, Man. Ray...
-You go to the council fire. I'm going back in.
-Ain't no Council Fire, Brother. Clear Moon...
-I know. Come on. We gotta get off the reservation or we're dead.
-Hoka Hey. It's a good day to die.
-He's gone.
-They got us sealed. What are we gonna do?
-That's it. The Stronghold. Get us in there, we got a chance.
-What about the water...
-You bought her some time, Kola. Ain't never gonna be over... but you bought her some time.
-I'll have to see what the visions say about that one.
-You take care.
-You're the Indian FBI.
-This Jimmy's?
-You're not gonna catch him. He can shape-shift into different animals. Bear. Elk. Porcupine.
-Is that like an hereditary thing, Magdelana, or can one take classes?
-Jimmy didn't kill Leo. Why do you wanna do this?
-He tried to kill him twice before. That's a good place to start don't ya think? Leo was on the other side, wasn't he?
--- Leo was an apple, that's right. Red on the outside, white on the inside. And Jimmy hated him. Kicked his ass a coupla times. But he didn't kill him.
-Who did?
-You're the FBI. That's your job, isn't it? Ya know how many of our Warrior brothers got killed out here? I never saw any investigating then. Why now? What's going down here?
-A Fugitive Alert for a murder suspect. Before somebody else gets a shotgun blast in the spine.
-Look. You and I can stand here in a culture clash til the sun comes up, talking about what's right and what's wrong. You're from the reservation. It's a different world.
-Thank you.
-Grandpa Reaches says you come from heavy Indian blood. I used to think Grandpa was gettin' senile. Now I know he is.
-You burned an American flag today. And left it for me...
--- You desecrated it, it had to be burned.
-I desecrated it?
-Your relatives must've taught you something.
-What?
-Wa-shee is like... a dumpling. Like tallow we put in stew. I think he was calling you chubby boy.
-X21, give me a 20.
-X22. Read.
-Go ahead, Ray.
-I have a pick-up truck. No plates. Subject -- Indian -- entering suspect's house. Over.
-No plates. No registration. Serial numbers removed. And all prints washed off by the river. That's great. This is turning out to be a walk in the park, do you know that?
-Come back?
-Ray. X22.
-I read, Cooch.
-Remember that upside down flag back at Jimmy's house? Somebody took it down.
-Good.
-X21. Come back.
-What are you doing on the reservation?
-Yellow bird... is gonna sing.
-Ray...
-Mister Tully.
-Do you want a coffee?
-I'm not that sure. Yeah, I think --
-With an Indian representative out there, we hope to keep hostilities dormant; this is a COINTELPRO, Selective Operations Unit, and it'll be easier on Agent Couture if you can gain the people's trust and maybe --
-Woh, excuse me, Sir... I see what you're saying... I've got a little Indian blood, that's true. But -- I am not an... an Indian. I can't just go in and --
-What ya want?
-Must be a bitch getting around in that wheelchair. How long you been in it?
-Since I got a iron pipe put across my knees, man. Fight with three wasi'cus, ya know.
-At Sioux Falls Pen?
-No, that was Leavenworth. This -- was Sioux Falls. What ya want?
-You ever try solitary confinement?
-No. Can't say that I have, Richard. Richard do you know why I'm here?
-Washington sent ya. I know that.
-Not for long, Richard. You got early parole under the stipulation that you would help us in a situation, and you didn't deliver.
-Get up out of the chair, Richard.
-What's with you people? Why do ya have to fuck with my head all the time? I came through, man.
-Get up out of the chair, and walk toward the backdoor, Richard.
-I get thrown in solitary until I don't know my own fuckin' name, and then you people tell me I can beat nine years if I help you. I helped you!
-They said I'd never see FBI again, and I'm livin' with you fuckers. I don't feed ya information on the Warriors, it's back to the pen. I don't do this, back to the pen. Your word against my word. Against a con Indian's word. I really got a chance, man, right?
-They sent me here, Richard because they said you didn't hold up your end of the arrangement, and I have to transport you back to Leavenworth.
-What the fuck, man? What do you people want? I did what you wasi'cu's told me to do.
-No way. No fuckin' way.
-How the hell do you know?
-The men who came to see you at Leavenworth. The one's who made the arrangement... who were they? Maybe I can talk to them.
-Miles. Three other suits. That's all I know 'em as -- suits. Were you there?
-You turned Leo over on his face. But the coyotes must've turned him back over, man, cuz his spirit is out. It's out, and it knows.
-What do you know about spirits? You ain't no In'dn.
-Leo knew something heavy and was trying to tell Jimmy. But you must not know how serious it was or you would have delivered. Do you realize what Leo could have told Jimmy?! Do you?!
-I took him out before he got the chance. He didn't say nothin' about Tashka Sha. And now his spirit is in the dirt. Forever.
-What's Tashka Sha, speak English, speak English!
-Keep talking, Yellow Bird...
-I'll bet!
-Uhhh...Anything I can do for you? She laughs again, doesn't know what it is...could be chemical, but she's instinctively attracted.
-Now I know why all the girls come here. They know how horny you guys get. But this...is ridiculous.
-It isn't?
-Well, it is. It is that, too.
-That's a big comfort to me.
-I could be, too.
-How so?
-Save you from a big mistake with that other guy.
-Yeah, most likely.
-Was there ever a girl who didn't like fighter pilots?
-Can I walk you out?She turns back to him, a smile.
-I thought he'd never leave.
-Everybody's got to be somewhere.
-What if Captain Dawson had come with me?
-It would have been really embarrassing!
-How did you know this was my car?
-Simple deduction. It's fast. It's pretty. Sleek and stylish...It's your color...matches your lipstick.
-That's all!
-I beg your pardon.
-No, I beg yours. But I don't think you're right on that.
-Why not?
-I saw one.
-You saw a MiG 21?
-I saw a MiG do a 4 G negative dive.
-Where did you see that?
-It's what?
-Lieutenant, I have a top secret clearance. The Pentagon sees to it that I know more than you.
-Not in this case. CHARLIE You saw a MiG push negative 4G?
-Yes, ma'am.
-Where were you?
-He was in a 4G Negative dive and you were on his six?
-If you were directly above him, how did you see him?
-Two.
-Two miles.
-The what?
-It never came up.
-You let me make a fool of myself.
-You seemed determined to do that anyway.. Why didn't you tell me you were a famous MiG insulter? MAVERICK Would it have made a difference?
-No.
-What would?
-What would you say, too fast...too quick...
-And far too aggressive.
-Well, what you need...what you have to keep looking for...what you want to get is a wingman who can stay up with you. Who can match you move for move. Then you've got something. I'm sorry.
-For what?
-That stuff about the MiG. I was out of line.
-Apology acknowledged.
-Is that all? CHARLIE What else do you want?
-Um. You.
-There you go with those moves again.
-Too aggressive?
-I don't mix with the boys. I work here. Let's keep it professional.
-I'm special.
-Yes. I'll give you that!
-I can't.
-I thought there was something... That night in the club...
-Lieutenant...
-Evan... or Maverick.
-Maverick...you know the rules of engagement.
-The what?
-Some one comes up hot on your six, what do you do?
-What are you talking about?
-You turn into him, check him out, identify friend or foe.
-I'm not your foe. CHARLIE And if he's harmless, you disengage.
-Harmless!
-Uh hum.
-What if he's not?
-And probably never again. It's nothing personal. It's just...I know a lot of pilots. Maybe I'm immune...
-Don't worry, I'm a new strain. And I don't give up. Everything I've ever wanted I've had to work like hell for. Well, how about it?
-How about what?
-How about anything, anything you want to do.
-Hard to argue with that, isn't it...
-A date... Coffee... A drink...A walk in the park.
-What about the plane?
-What plane.
-Most of them invite me to sit in the cockpit...play with the levers and things. MAVERICK Well, get used to it.
-Used to what?
-I'm different.
-Let's make it at eight.
-Make what?
-Anything.
-Why'd you do that?
-It dies. We live.
-You're an animal.
-That's true. What are you?
-No!
-It's not suffering anymore.
-You're horrible
-You're not, cause you eat frozen meatballs? Things die. Every time you breathe, you kill millions of tiny organisms. Every time you eat, something had to die.
-You don't have to kill it.
-Somebody does. It's more honest this way. You do your own dirty work.
-You ever think about killing another human being?
-Does it bother you?
-You know what really scares me? Living too long. Losing my hair and my teeth...and my guts and my wind. And my brains...Sitting in a room with my hands in my lap, watching daytime TV.
-You don't believe any of this. You don't think you'll ever die.
-That's it, of course. When I'm up there and doing it, I'm cheating it every second. I'm subverting all laws...gravity...whatever. I'm skating the edge of it.
-What he said..."There's nothing so exhilarating as being shot at without result."
-All you've got is one life. I guess it's worth about the same to every body. You ever see an old woman after her husband has died? And the meaningless years of decline stretch ahead... When you're in the air and doing something really dangerous, you can look ahead... maybe ten seconds. That's your whole future. That's as far as it goes. But imagine
-What if you kill yourself? Think of everything you'll miss. MAVERICK There is lots of stuff I don't know about... Fine wine... great art... the opera. I guess if I live long enough, I'll get to it. If I don't, I'll never miss it.
-Are you really that brave?
-I watched my mother die. Cancer. She had a long time to think about it. They say you reach an agreement with death. Come to accept the fact that pretty soon you won't be here. I didn't see that. She... was very brave...braver than I am. You go up there, there isn't time to think. If you make a mistake, you're just a smudge
-It's just as I thought.
-You're totally insane.
-Come on.
-Where?
-You want to go ballistic?
-I always wanted to fly... ever since I first saw a jet. I wanted to fly jets, then I wanted F-14's, then I wanted to fly off carriers, then I wanted Top Gun.
-And now?
-And now I want you.
-You always get what you want?
-I want it understood.
-Anything.
-No fooling on base, no signs, no comments, no talk. By anyone.
-Why?
-Food...and you...my F-14!
-In that order?
-Well no...inverse order.
-I'm still second best.
-You ever fly an F-14?
-Danger?
-. Yeah!
-Doesn't it ever bother you?
-Lucky charm.
-What do you take me for? It's a Navy Cross.
-Just good luck.
-Where'd you get it.
-...they say you're alright.
-I'm fine.
-This is it, then.
-What?
-The dark side. The price you pay for all the fun you're having. You knew about it, of course. Didn't you?
-He was a friend of mine. A good guy...great guy. It was my fault.
-That's not what I hear.
-I was flying...my responsibility.
-That's what you get flight pay for.
-Maybe I shouldn't take it.
-Why? You act like you didn't know one day this would happen.
-Not to me.
-Where are we?
-Where are we? You know where we are. It's called the beach. It's where life first crawled up out of the sea. I come here sometimes... when I feel like crawling back in.
-You don't have to do this.
-Do what, show you a good time?
-I'm not good company. I should be alone.
-No.
-What do you want?
-I want it back.
-What?
-You look way out there. Out past the date line. West becomes East, all things change. You cross the line...today becomes yesterday...or tomorrow, I forget which.
-That's what I want.
-You don't believe that.
-Hardly ever.
-Only when you're depressed. Then it passes.
-It does.
-What do you do when you come here?
-I sit. I think. I play games.
-What kind of games?
-How do you play reality.
-It's strip reality, actually, like what the pilots always want to play.
-Strip reality! How do you play that?
-It's like strip poker, only, without the bluffing. One person says something and if the other one accepts that it's true, the one who says it, gets to take one item of clothing off.
-You're crazy. That's a pretty silly game.
-Want to play the game?
-How does it go?
-You say the truth. Go ahead. Don't be afraid. You want to win the game, don'tcha?
-What truth?
-Goose is dead.
-True.
-Now?
-Take something off.
-Off me or off you?
-What does it mean?
-You didn't mean it. You didn't think. You'd do anything to take it back.
-That's three.
-One more.
-Looks like a tie.
-Who's gonna win?
-You weren't gonna say goodbye?
-I was, later.
-Long distance? I wouldn't do that to you. I'd at least talk to you.
-I didn't want to see you. I mean, I did...but I didn't..
-I know exactly what you mean.
-How could you?
-I've got a gift just like you do. My gift is I just know what people mean, even if they can't say it. It helps when you're trying to communicate with fighter pilots. Like what you just said was "I'm embarrassed, I feel I've done something wrong, that I've failed, and I don't think I can live up to the expectations of a wonderful
-And I'm gonna sneak off, and be by myself for awhile, like until I can think of a new career...hotel management or something...
-Big talk for someone who's never been shot off her computer.
-Hey, I never said I was a fighter pilot...I never claimed to think it was fun to be shot off the end of a ship in a storm. I can find contentment in a good book. I don't have to roar by someone at Mach two with my hair on fire. Sometimes...I just get happy being with the right man.
-I hope you find him.
-Well?
-Well what?
-You got your F-14, you got Top Gun, you got your MiGs....You're our new Top Gun instructor...Now what?
-Oh...I'll think of something... What are you doing here?
-I live here, remember?
-Well... What is it?
-Yes sir. I do, Sir.
-Well?
-One SIXTH the speed of sound!
-Yes sir.
-Lieutenant... What do you... usually fly?
-F-14's sir.
-Tomcats?
-Lieutenant... Is there... a Russian attack?
-Yes, Sergeant?
-Remember one thing.
-Sir?
-Outside of this gate... I...am Top Gun.
-Can't shake him.
-WHAT'S MIG ONE DOING?
-I'LL LOCK ON THEM, COUGAR. Gotcha covered, don't nobody move.
-I'M UP HERE TOO, MAVERICK.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
-MAVERICK.
-YOU BETTER NOT BE RAGGING ME... IF YOU'RE FLYING UPSIDE DOWN...
-NO JOKE, COUGAR. ON THE LEVEL. EVEN I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.
-I've got a six strobe. I think he's locked on us.
-It's a MiG 21. They don't have radar missiles!
-Let's hope you're right!
-What is he doing?
-That's missile lock!
-He better be kidding!
-We're locked on MiG ONE. Why doesn't he disengage?
-Hey, if it was easy, everybody would want to come up here and do it..... Instead of just us.
-Help me with this one, I'm really screwed up.
-Bring it left. Bring it left, You're high.
-This is crazy!
-What is?
-Wait! Hell!..Something's wrong!
-What? What is it?
-Were upside down!
-You're crazy. We're level.
-Can't you feel it? I'm hanging in my straps!
-You're not. We're level. Look at the instruments, we're okay!
-They must be broken. I'm hanging in my straps! We're inverted!
-I'm pulling up.
-We're on vapor, Cougar, you got to put it down.
-It's crazy, man. Instruments are crazy. We're gonna have to eject.
-OKAY... OKAY. BUT IF I LAND THIS THING UPSIDE DOWN. AND I LIVE. I'LL HAVE YOUR BUTT!
-WHAT? WHERE'RE YOU--HEY, WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?
-DIDN'T ... AHHH...LOOK GOOD.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT DOESN'T GET TO LOOK MUCH BETTER THAN THAT?
-What are you doing?
-Saving them some paperwork.
-If I could fly like you I'd have everything I want. If I could fly at all. I can't fly. I can't fly like that. Nobody can. Whatever it is, you've got it!
-Not anymore.
-Bandit at seven o'clock low--solo. Take him. Pull on the goddamn stick, man!
-Okay, okay.
-BREAK LEFT! BREAK LEFT! CHAFF! FLARES!
-THERE'S ANOTHER ONE UP THERE!
-I GOT ONE COMING UP.
-Ohhh Mother!
-Don't WORRY!!!? You've GOT it!!? Are you CRAZY?
-Now have you got it? Have you still got it?
-Yawing right.
-I know!
-Rudder's left, stick's forward.
-I've got it -- hold on!
-Passing 8. Passing 6. Lock your harness!
-5000 feet. Speed two hundred.
-No! Not again!
-What are you talking about, we gotta go!
-Gotta go, man.
-280, 290, 300 knots.
-3,000 feet. We gotta go, man. 3,000 feet, we gotta go!
-You go. I'm staying with it.
-Is there something I should know?
-Just relax.
-Is it the plane?
-The plane is fine.
-Is it you?
-You're not supposed to...
-But I have to!
-Then...shit! Go ahead. I'm right behind you.
-You hear that? Anything we want. Anything...Well???
-Well what?
-What do you want?
-What do I want?
-What do you want?
-Let me do the talking.
-Why do you all have such funny names?
-You gotta have a call sign that's just your own...never changes...you have to recognize it immediately. Then, if someone shouts "Wolf, break left!"..you react right away.
-Well, I don't know. That depends.
-On what?
-Well, it doesn't just happen, you gotta do something famous.
-Like what?
-It's not Cougar's place. It's ours.
-What do you think it was? Was it that MiG contact that did it?
-Did what?
-Got you here.
-That's not what I heard.
-We won! Ice turns back, stares them down, then turns back into his locker, dismissing them.
-Slider -- they let you into Top Gun? If you're among the best in the Navy, I tremble for the security of this country.
-Why Goose, whose butt did you kiss to get here?
-The list is long, but distinguished.
-So's my Johnson.
-So I've heard.
-Who's your pilot?
-Tom Kazansky.
-No shit. The Iceman....
-You think you can stay up with us.
-I think, yeah, we'll show you a thing or two.
-This is Evan Mitchell, he steers the thing.
-What was that?
-How was it?
-Nice. Always a good idea to show up your instructors. He nods toward Jester, glaring at them from his A4. Goose indicates the backseat of the Tomcat.
-Look at the weather! They'll never find us! We're near out of fuel. Put it down.
-What are you doing?
-Keller, Black Lion Squadron. I knew him at Pensacola. He's damn good.
-Is there anybody in the Navy you don't know?
-You ever done this before?
-Hey Mav, this is Sally. She doesn't believe a word I say. Tell her I'm married, will you?
-What do these guys think, I made Cougar quit?
-I've lost him -- where is he?
-Great move. Great
-We did it!
-Ahhh...A little high on the left, don't you think?
-It's a victory roll.
-Hi...Hi there. How ya doing in there? Mav... Ahhh...you know, at one point I did want a Navy career.
-Come on, relax...
-You see all those guys with gold on their shoulders!!?... Oh, no, I think that was Johnson, Air Boss of the Kitty Hawk!
-Come on, we beat an instructor. How many times in your life do you get to do a victory roll?
-Come on, we're next.
-What?
-Come on, come on! It's double or nothing.. We're talking twelve bucks American, here.
-What the hell is this?
-Something bothering you?
-STAY WITH HIM! TIGHTEN YOUR TURN!
-Just cover Wood, Maverick. Mutual support, man!
-I'm gonna take him, Goose.
-Don't be greedy. Stay with Wood.
-What what are you doing? We're cover!
-Relationships are a bitch, here. It's hard enough to concentrate ...under the pressure. Having a woman here is asking for it.
-I guess that's what I'm doing, then.
-I'm pinned to the panel.
-Time to go.
-3000 feet. I'll do it.
-1000.
-That's Kazanski.
-No shit! That why they call him Ice?
-Man, you guys gooned it. Your laser butts are scattered across KANSAS.
-I was a victim of circumstance.
-They should have warned you about that one.
-She's kinky for flight suits--said that she'd never seen so many zippers--played with them all night. The noise alone kept me up.
-What'd you do?
-Don't worry. I'll talk to him.
-He's the best you have. He's going Top Gun!
-Well, he's going and he needs someone to fly the plane.
-Skipper, you can't do this!
-But, Skipper, Cougar's been picked for Top Gun...He's the best of the best!
-Mav's a great flyer but....
-A plaque?
-No, we...got our butts kicked.
-It's kind of ironic. All you guys have women troubles and I don't.
-That's because you don't have any women.
-Until last night. Did you see the moves I was making on that girl at the party?
-The girl with the purple fingernails?
-Coogan spent half the night looking for her. He said he was gonna kill the son-of-a-bitch who ruined his sister.
-Hear about Ice?
-What now?
-I'VE GOT TWO MORE BOGEYS COMING IN AT FOUR O'CLOCK HIGH.
-ENGAGING BANDIT 12 O'CLOCK.
-COME OFF RIGHT--COME OFF HIGH--I'M IN--I'LL ENGAGE.
-GET OUT OF THERE, YOU'RE UNSAFE. GET OUT OF THERE.
-FIRE, OR CLEAR OUT, ICE.
-GET LOST!
-YOU GOT TOO MUCH NOSE TO TAIL -- I'M COMING IN.
-COME OFF--COME OFF RIGHT. I'M ON MY WAY IN. YOU GO FREE, I'M ENGAGING.
-STAY OUT OF IT. STAY OUT OF IT, MAVERICK.
-ICE, ROLL OFF, I CAN SHOOT HIM.
-IF YOU CAN'T SHOOT HIM, I CAN.
-OKAY, GOING UP. ICE, GO HIGH.
-ON THE NOSE?
-I GOT A WINDER LEFT, BUT NO GOOD TONE ON IT.
-I CAN'T LOSE HIM, CAN YOU GET OFF A SHOT?
-I GOT NO TONE. IT MIGHT GET YOU.
-WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE? SHOOT IT.
-I guess I owe you one.
-You don't owe me anything. We're on the same team.
-You saved our lives. You did it!
-We did it.
-You're a hell of a flyer. You can be my wingman any time.
-Figured it out yet?
-Figured out what?
-Who is the best.
-Nope.
-Need a hint?
-I think I can work it out on my own.
-You like to work alone. I've heard that about you.
-I've heard of you, too. You were in 124 with Bargamian.
-The hard deck for this hop was ten thousand feet. Jester, at what point did you call off the fight?
-Just below ten thousand.
-I don't know what to tell you, Skip.
-He's seat of the pants... Completely unpredictable -- nothing by the book. All over the sky. But I don't know, Skip, he's really got something.
-WALKED RIGHT INTO IT.
-He just won't engage. He can't do it, Skipper. He can't get back on the horse.
-It's only been a week. Keep sending him up.
-I've seen this before.
-So have I.
-Who's the hell is that?
-Three guesses.
-Ah, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.
-Speaking of feet, fuel's down to 4.0. We're gonna get them wet unless we find a Sonoco station.
-I...FORGOT SOMETHING.
-What the hell you doing?
-Helping him in.
-You won?!!!
-It was bad.
-Bad?
-You didn't help.
-Morning, Coogan.
-He's a good pilot.
-Was going. Now you are.
-You just did an incredibly brave thing! What you should have done was land your plane. You don't own that plane, the taxpayers do. I should ream you out for it. But it just doesn't work with you. You're a hell of a flyer. You are maybe ...too good. You never really stepped in it yet. So this is your chance. I'm gonna send
-Sir?
-That is all. Tell me about the MiG some other time...
-Yes sir..
-Considering the company you're in, that's a pretty arrogant attitude.
-Yes sir.
-Maverick... Where'd you get that call sign?
-Ahhh... Runs in the family, sir.
-You're father was Marvin Mitchell..
-Yes sir.
-I had him in view. I was peeling over the egg, into a dive. He saw me when I moved in for the kill. There wasn't any danger...
-Why?
-We weren't below for more than ten seconds. There was no danger. I had the shot. I took it.
-I wasn't thinking. I just did it.
-SNAPSHOT..MISSED HIM..
-Twenty years' experience, I couldn't shake you. You may be a great flyer. I mean that.
-I lost.
-I can take care of myself.
-Talent is no holy shield. Von Richtofen was killed by a farm boy. Instincts are not enough. Do it our way. We've worked these things out. The good pilots can become better and the great ones can learn how to stay alive. Why do you have to do everything the hard way?
-It's my own way. It works for me. I don't care about the rest of that stuff.
-Then why are you here?
-For the same reason you are.
-Oh, you mean the thrill!
-How do you feel?
-All right.
-Goose is dead.
-He was...my responsibility--my RIO.
-Skipper, sorry to bother you.
-No bother.
-I called your house.
-My wife's house.
-We can send you back to your squadron with nothing noted on your record except "CNC" --course not completed, no explanation required. Theoretically, it doesn't hurt your career, but people always wonder about things like that.
-Or....
-Or you can quit.
-I don't know...
-It's no disgrace, kid. That spin was hell. It would wreck anyone's confidence. You could be a good pilot again someday...
-You think I should quit?!
-Sometimes it's luck, but in this case, he earned it... I served with your old man.
-I know.
-VF 51, the Oriskany. You remind me of him. You're just like he was, only better...and worse.
-I'm nothing like him.
-You may not think so, but you are.
-He was by the book, all the way.
-They waved him off. He thought he knew better. He hit the ramp.
-I never heard that.
-Not something they tell dependents.
-How can I go on? I feel so... responsible.
-Kid, the plain fact is...you are. I'm not gonna stand here and blow sunshine up your ass. Technically, they absolved you. You and I know what really happened. You pushed it. You are responsible and you'll always carry that. You know what, I'll carry it too. I should have taken you out of that cockpit. I guess I'm a hopeless romantic... I always try
-You think I shouldn't fly.
-I didn't say that. That's up to you. I think that if you do, if you choose to come back, you'll be a better pilot... a better man.
-Would you take me back? Would they?
-What's wrong with this one?
-Where's yours?
-Over there man.
-Welcome to Mars.
-What to the rebels want?
-So, where to?
-The Last Resort.
-First time on Mars?
-Yeah...Well, actually no...Sort of.
-Tell me something; are all psychics, uh....?
-Freaks?...'Fraid so, man. Goes with the territory.
-What happened to them?
-Well, there it is; the Last Resort. Sure you wanna go in?
-Why not?
-I know a much better place down the block -- the girls are clean; the liquor ain't watered down...
-Lemme ask you a question. Ever fuck a mutant?
-What happened to number five?
-Need a ride?
-Shut up and drive!
-And if you wanna breathe, you gotta but his air.
-But maybe you can change all that.
-How could you do this? You're a mutant.
-What do you want?
-Don't bother looking. It's in your skull.
-Who are you?
-Never mind. Wet a towel and wrap it around your head. That'll muffle the signal.
-How'd you find me?
-Nice to have you back with us, Mr. Brubaker.
-Thank you.
-Would you like the same suite?
-Hmm. It seems you left something in our safe.
-Get it, please.
-I'll go encode your room key.
-There you go, Mr. Brubaker. Suite 610 in the East Wing.
-Well, my boy, you're a hero.
-Fuck you.
-You see, Quaid, none of my people could get close to Kuato. The fucking mutants could always sniff us out. So Hauser and I sat down and invented you: the perfect mole.
-He's lying. Hauser turned against you.
-That's what we wanted you to think. The fact is, Hauser volunteered to become Doug Quaid. It was the only way to fool the psychics.
-Get your story straight. This idiot's been trying to kill me since I went to Rekall. --You don't kill somebody you're trying to plant.
-He wasn't in on it. You set him off by going to Rekall.
-So why am I still alive?
-The guy with the suitcase; the mask; the money; the message form Hauser...All of that was set up by us.
-Sorry. Too perfect.
-Well, Cohaagen, I have to hand it to you...This is the best mindfuck yet.
-Don't take my word for it, Quaid. Someone you trust wants to talk to you.
-The guy's a fucking asshole.
-Come on, Cohaagen! You got what you want. Give these people air!
-What are you afraid of? Turn it on.
-Impossible. Once the reaction starts, it'll spread to all the turbinium in the planet. Mars will go into global meltdown.--That's why the aliens never turned it on.
-Do you expect me to believe you?
-I didn't want it to end this way. I wanted Hauser back. But nooo. You had to be Quaid.
-I am Quaid.
-What the fuck is going on down there?!
-I'm trying to neutralize a traitor.
-If I wanted him dead, you moron, I wouldn't have dumped him on Earth.
-We can't let him run around. He knows too much.
-Lori says he can't remember jack shit!
-That's now. In an hour, he could have total recall.
-Richter, do you know why I'm such a happy person?
-No, sir.
-He had help. From our side, sir.
-I know that.
-But I thought...
-Who told you to think?! I don't give you enough information to think! You do what you're told!! That's what you do!
-Now let's get down to business. Kuato wants what's in Quaid's head. And he might be able to get it, cause they say he's psychic. Now I have a little plan to keep this from happening. --Do you think you can play along?
-Yes, sir.
-Stop fighting and get out.
-They've got Quaid! They're protecting him!
-Perfect!...Get out of Sector G. Now. Don't think. Do it.
-I say we throw the switch and see what happens.
-Kill him.
-Bob?
-What is it?
-I'm with an very important client.
-What the fuck is going on here?! You can't install a simple goddamn double implant?!
-Listen to me! He's been going on and on about Mars. He's really been there.
-Use your head, you dumb bitch! He's acting out the secret agent role from his Ego Trip!
-I'm afraid that's not possible.
-Why not?
-Oh shit....Oh shit...
-Okay, this is what we're gonna do. Renata, cover up any memory he has of us or Rekall.
-I'll do what I can. It's getting messy in there.
-Ernie, dump him in a cab. Around the corner. Tiffany, you help him. I'll destroy his file and refund his money. And if anybody comes asking...we've never heard of Douglas Quaid.
-Good evening... Doug. I'm Dr. Lull.
-Two-headed monsters?
-So, been married long?
-Eight years.
-I see. Slipping away for a little hanky-panky.
-Your sexual orientation?
-Hetero.
-Blonde, brunette, redhead?
-Brunette.
-Demure, aggressive, sleazy? Be honest.
-Sleazy...and demure.
-What do you want?
-This is going to be very difficult for you at accept, Mr. Quaid.
-I'm listening.
-Ya know, Doc, you could have folled me.
-Amazing. Where are we?
-You're strapped into an implant chair, and I'm monitoring you at a psycho-probe console.
-Oh, I get it; I'm dreaming! And this is all part of that delightful vacation your company sold me.
-Not exactly. What you're experiencing is a free-form delusion based on our memory tapes. But you're inventing it yourself as you go along.
-Well, if this is my delusion, who invited you?
-I've been artificially implanted as an emergency measure. I'm sorry to tell you this, Mr. Quaid, but you've suffered a schizoid embolism. We can't snap you out of your fantasy. I've been sent in to try to talk you down.
-How much is Cohaagen paying you for this?
-Think about it. Your dream started in the middle of the implant procedure. Everything after that--the chases, the trip to Mars, your suite here at the Hilton--these are all elements of your Rekall Holiday. And Ego Trip: You paid to be a secret agent.
-Bullshit. It's all coincidence.
-What about the girl? Brunette, athletic, sleazy and demure; just like you specified. Is that a coincidence?
-She's real. I dreamed about her before I even went to Rekall.
-Mr. Quaid, can you hear yourself? "She's real because you dreamed her?"
-You open it.
-Suppose I do...then what?
-What is it?
-Mr. Cohaagen wants to see you right away.
-Any news of Quaid?
-Not since you lost him.
-Quaid! That's Quaid!
-Where?
-HER!
-Richter! Call from Cohaagen.
-Pull them out.
-Hey, hey Tony. Give the big guy a break.
-If we don't hand you over, everybody in the sector'll be dead by morning.
-Sit down.
-Where's Kuato?
-On his way.
-You heard the rumors about the Pyramid Mine?
-Yeah.
-Cohaagen found something weird inside, and it's got him scared shitless.
-What, aliens?
-You tell me.
-I don't know.
-Yes, you do. That's why we brought you here. -- Cohaagen's big secret is buried in that black hole you call a brain. And Kuato's gonna dig it out.
-You're Kuato, right?
-Shit!
-They found us! Everybody out!
-Hey Harry...Harry! You ever heard of Rekall?
-Rekall?
-They sell fake memories.
-Oh, Rekall.
-Yeah.
-I don't know. Maybe.
-Why not?
-A friend of mine tried one of their "special offers"...Nearly got himself lobotomized.
-No shit...
-Hey, Quaid!
-Harry!
-What trip?
-You went to Rekall, remember?
-I did?
-Yeah, you did. I told you not to but you did anyway.
-What are you, my father?
-Let me buy you a drink.
-Harry, what the hell is this?
-Come on, let's go have that drink.
-What the fuck did I do wrong?! Tell me!
-You blabbed, Quaid! You blabbed about Mars!
-You shoulda listened to me, Quaid. I was there to keep you outta trouble.
-Harry, you're making a big mistake! You've got me mixed up with somebody else!
-Where?
-I want that fucker dead.
-I don't blame you man. I wouldn't want Quaid porkin' my old lady.
-Are you saying she liked it?
-What was that? I couldn't hear you.
-Where is he?
-Level 2. Galleria.
-Shit!
-That son of a bitch got to be around here somewhere.
-I've got a weak signal over there.
-He's not at ground level.
-I've got a lock! There!
-Look at this shit.
-I'm sorry. Would you please rephrase the question.
-How did I get in this taxi?!
-Welcome to JohnnyCab. Where can I...?
-Would you please repeat the destination?
-The fare is eighteen credits, please.
-Quit while you're ahead.
-Is that better?
-Mmmm.....
-Who?
-The brunette. The one you told me about.
-Who is she?
-Nobody.
-Nobody?! What's her name?
-I don't know.
-It's not funny, Doug. You dream about her every night.
-Let me go!
-...You mean it?
-Lori...
-Yeah, sweetheart?
-Let's do it.
-Do what?
-Honey, do you have to spoil a perfectly wonderful morning.
-Just think about it.
-Sweetheart, we've been through this a million times. You'd hate it on Mars. It's dry; it's ugly; it's boring! --I mean, really, a revolution could break out there any minute.
-Cohaagen says it's just a few extremists.
-And you believe him?
-Doug, maybe we should take a trip.
-Lori, move.
-Well...What do you say?
-Sweetheart...I know it's hard being in a new town, but let's at least give it a chance here. Okay?
-You are somebody. You're the man I love.
-What are you doing?
-Muggers?! Doug, are you all right? What happened?
-Harry from work...He was the boss.
-Take it easy. Tell me exactly what happened? Why would "spies" want to kill you?
-I don't know! It had something to do with Mars.
-Mars? You've never even been to Mars.
-I know it sounds crazy, but I went to this Rekall place after work, and...
-You went to those brain butchers?!
-Let me finish!
-What did they do to you? Tell me!
---I got a trip to Mars.
-Oh God, Doug.
-Forget Rekall, will you! These men were going to kill me...
-Doug, nobody tried to kill you.
-You call this a paranoid delusion?!
-Not talk! I said TALK!!
-I'm not your wife.
-The hell you're not.
-I swear to God!...I never saw you before six weeks ago! Our marriage is just a memory implant -- agghh!
-You think I'm an idiot? Remember our wedding?
-It was implanted by the Agency.
-And falling in love?
-Implanted.
-Our friends, my job, eight years together, I suppose all this was implanted too?
-The job's real. -- But the Agency set it up.
-O.K. then. If I'm not me, then who the hell am I?
-But Doug...There's something I want you to know. You're the best assignment I ever hand. Really.
-I'm honored.
-You sure you don't wanna...? For old time's sake. If you don't trust me, you can tie me up.
-I didn't know you were so kinky.
-Clever girl.
-Doug...You wouldn't shoot me, would you? After all we've been through?
-I suppose you're not here either.
-I love you.
-Right. That's why you tried to kill me.
-Nooo! I would never do anything to hurt you. I want you to come back to me.
-Then I can pull this trigger, and it won't matter.
-Doug...Bob McClane.
-Nice to meet you.
-Now help me out here, Doug. You were interested in a memory of...
-Mars.
-Right. Mars.
-That a problem?
-To be perfectly honest with you, Doug, if outer space is your thing, I think you'd be much happier with one of our Saturn cruises.Everybody raves about 'em.
-I'm not interested in Saturn. I said Mars.
-Let's see...the basic Mars package will run you just eight hundred and ninety-nine credits. That's for two full weeks of memories, complete in every detail. --A longer trip'll run you a little more, cause you need a deeper implant.
-What's in the two week package?
-First of all, Doug, when you go Rekall, you get nothing but first class memories: private cabin on the shuttle; deluxe suite at the Hilton; plus all the major sights: Mount Pyramid, the Grand Canals, and of course... Venusville.
-How real does it seem?
-As real as any memory in your head.
-Come on, don't bullshit me.
-I'm telling you, Doug, your brain won't know the difference. Guaranteed, or your money back.
-What about the guy you lobotomized...Did he get a refund?
-All right.
-Smart move. Now while you fill out the questionnaire, I'll familiarize you with some of our options.
-No options.
-I give up.
-You. You're the same. No matter where you go, there you are. Always the same old you. Let me suggest that you take a vacation from yourself. I know it sounds wild, but it's the latest thing in travel. We call it an "Ego Trip".
-I'm not interested in that.
-Secret agent...How much is that?
-Go on.
-They'll be here any minute! They'll kill you all!
-What's he talking about?
-I love you.
-Ooo, whatcha been feeding that thing?
-Blondes.
-I thought Cohaagen tortured you to death!
-I guess he didn't.
-...What?
-I don't remember you.
-What are you talking about?
-What, did you get amnesia?...How'd you get here?
-Hauser left me a note.
-Hauser? You're Hauser.
-Hauser, you're lost your mind.
-I didn't lose it. Cohaagen stole it. He found out that Hauser switched sides,-so he turned him into somebody else. Me.
-This is too weird.
-Then he dumped me on Earth with a wife and a lousy job and ...
-She wasn't really my wife.
-Oh, she isn't really your wife. How stupid of me...She was Hauser's wife.
-Forget I said wife.
-No. Let's forget everything! I've had it with you and your goddamn lies.
-Why would I lie to you?
-Because you're still working for Cohaagen.
-Don't be ridiculous.
-You never loved me, Hauser! You just used me to get inside.
-I think you better leave.
-Melina, Hauser sent me to do something.
-I'm not falling for it.
-He said there's enough in here to nail Cohaagen for good.
-I said get out!
-I thought you didn't like me.
-So you dropped by to apologize?
-Now what?
-By the way...ever heard of a company names Rekall?
-I used to model for 'em, why?
-Not bad, for a hooker.
-The first settlers are buried here. They worked themselves to death, but Cohaagen ended up with all the money. He built cheap domes and watched their kids turn into freaks.
-What can I do?
-Kuato's gonna make you remember a few things you knew when you were Hauser.
-Like what?
-All sorts of things. You might even remember you loved me.
-I don't need Kuato for that.
-He's lying.
-Are you all right? Are you still you?
-Where are you going?!
-The reactor.
-What reactor?!
-The one in the mine!
-Where's this "reactor" come from?
-Aliens built it.
-You sure about this?
-Cohaagen knows it makes air. But the bastard won't turn it on.
-The whole core of Mars is ice. The reactor melts it and releases oxygen.
-What's wrong?
-I just has a terrible thought...What is this is all a dream?
-This is the suitcase you gave me.
-I gave you?
-Wait!
-What?
-...Who are you?
-We were buddies in the Agency back on Mars. You asked me to find you if you disappeared. So here I am, good-bye.
-Rhonda. Rhonda LeBeck. She's getting some kind of strange readings on her things.
-Or a big mother slug maybe?
-You guys all set?
-Ready as we'll ever be.
-You stupid punk! You came <u>that</u> close, <u>that</u> close!!
-Okay, Burt, listen. Forget shooting them. Tell me this: can you get to your truck?
-No problem.
-Yeah, like they got a plan...
-Breaker there, Earl. What do you want us to do?
-Yeah, still got one poking around.
-That's four. Let us know if it starts moving, Burt.
-What? Well, for chrissake, we could have made a stand at our place! We had food, water...
-You can't fight'em that way...
-How much you think?
-What the hell is that, anyway?
-Cannon fuse.
-What do <u>you</u> use it for?
-Miguel, the trouble's come to us. If we're not ready...
-I can't believe it. No tracks, no sign, no spoor.
-You're not getting any penetration, even with the elephant gun.
-Knock it off, Burt!
-What do you think? Max firepower or...?
-A beauty, isn't it? We bought three of them for the rec room.
-What the hell you doing back already?
-Negative copy on that, Pham, check your frequency. I'm on forty-nine.
-Burt, can you hear me now?
-Burt! This is Val! Get out of your basement!! Take your radio! You and Heather get up on your roof! Then we'll talk, okay?!
-Val? What the hell you doing back already?
-Burt, get out! Get up on your roof or someplace! We found out what's been killing people! They're under the ground!
-What's under the ground? We're not getting up on the roof. Earth shelter's the best. Known that since I was a kid.
-Let's go you two. We're headed for the mountains.
-That's fine. We've got some new things to teach them.
-Jesus Christ, we're only going nine miles. Be there in two hours, tops!
-She's got my vote.
-BACK OFF, BURT...!
-Well, we'll ask around. Let you know if we hear of anything.
-Thanks. God, I hope they're not screwed up. I might have to bag the whole semester. Anyway, sorry to bother you.
-Jesus Christ...think it smells like that 'cause it's dead?
-I don't see any eyes...must be totally subterranean...and those tentacles...
-I think they shoot right outta its mouth, hook you, and pull you right in. Good thing we stopped it before it killed anybody else.
-Well, at least the bastard can't climb. Pardon my French.
-There's nothing like them in the fossil record, I'm sure...Okay, so they predate the fossil record... That'd make them a couple of billion years old...and we've just never seen one till now. Right.
-I might have an idea...
-We're gonna have to come up with some kind of plan or it's just gonna wait us to death.
-I'll bet you're sorry the college ever sent you up here.
-Well, I'm scared, but I'm not sorry.
-You know, up the jeep trail.
-Well, we can take my truck then.
-Oh my God.
-He'll never make it! They're gonna get him!
-We're not going over there, right?
-So...now what?
-Where the hell are they? Hope they didn't wise up.
-Hi, guys. Burt loaned me his camera.
-Howdy, Rhonda.
-You're really leaving, huh?
-You bet. You gonna be staying up here?
-You didn't cook breakfast?
-Did it yesterday. Franks and beans.
-No...it was eggs. I did eggs.
-How many cows does it take to make a stampede? Is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?
-If there was one nearby I'd probably ask him.
-I keep thinking, if we were but half serious about money, we should quit being hired hands and...
-Handymen, Earl. We're handymen.
-Goddamn jeep trail gets worse every year.
-You're gonna get us hung up.
-Uh...Digging that waterhole for Nestor.
-Burt and Heather's place is closer. Let's do their kitchen today. Do Nestor tomorrow.
-Who the hell's that? That's not what's his name...the grad student?
-Nah, it's September. Must be the new one.
-You know, if you wanted, we could take a look at those seismographs for her.
-What the hell do we know about seismographs?
-Nothing. But it sure might be a nice way of getting to know her.
-Why?
-Goddamnit, Valentine, you won't go for any gal unless she fits that damn list of yours A to Z...
-Well, sure.
-Tammy Lynn Baxter.
-Don't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. Can't make a decision, can't walk because of their shoes, can't work because of their fingernails. Make my skin crawl!
-Well, I'm a victim of circumstance.
-Catch it later, Pham. Gotta get over to Nestor's.
-Why don't his parents ever take him to Vegas with them?
-So what if we just did it...today. Pack up. Drive straight down to Bixby. Get serious.
-We could. We could. But we'd have to get <u>really</u> serious. It's gonna cost twice as much to rent a place.
-So? That car wash pays good, and they're always looking.
-Car wash?! That's got no future. If we're gonna take the plunge we oughta have a better plan than that.
-Well, <u>you're</u> the one won't work in the car wash. You're the one's gotta have a plan.
-What keeps us doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet. I was up for going to Bixby. I was getting excited.
-In the past year I must've said a hundred times "We gotta get out of Perfection. We gotta better ourselves." You gonna stand there in broad daylight and tell me you think I'm the reason we're still here? You want to know how close I am to going to Bixby right <u>now</u>?
-Uh oh, it's Nancy. She wants another load of firewood.
-She's got us. Now, listen, the plan is: we have done our last job in Perfection.
-We did it! We faced temptation and we did not bend!
-So long, cactus!
-Jeez, look at that guy.
-One job I'd never take is working around electricity.
-You're full of shit.
-Reckon he hated Perfection more than us? You suppose he <u>wanted</u> to kill himself?
-If he did, why didn't he use his damn shotgun?
-Maybe he just couldn't pull the trigger...
-Oh sure, he figured it was easier to die of thirst? Come on, sombody must've chased him up there.
-Well, whatever the hell happened it's just one more goddamn good reason to haul ass out of this place.
-Probably up a pole starving itself to death.
-Okay, the plan is: pedal to the metal the whole way. We don't stop till we hit the carwash, not even to pee.
-Oh, Jesus!!
-Brother, we decided to leave this place just one day too late, you know?
-Those assholes are supposed to be <u>fixing</u> the goddamn road! Hey! Where are you guys? People gotta use this road, you know! You on a booze break or what?!
-Jesus! I don't <u>believe</u> this!
-You're hung up again.
-Fuck you!
-It must've grabbed us. That's why the truck stalled-out.
-Slick as snot and I'm not lying.
-Fifteen lousy bucks.
-Pham, we don't want to be stuck on a couple of canners. They better be fast.
-Relax. A snake thing like that couldn't move too quick.
-You want the rifle or the Smith?
-That means we're gonna be out here, like, in the dark.
-Car's gone. We just missed them, that's all.
-Here's the plan...We don't <u>even</u> stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.
-That <u>is</u> the plan...I mean, goddamn it! What the hell are those things? How could they bury an entire Plymouth station wagon?
-Shut up! They got wind of something they don't like!
-What the hell are they?
-This is one big mother!
-Hey, Rhonda, you ever heard of <u>any</u>thing like this before?
-Pham Van don't get his mitts on <u>this</u> for no measly fifteen bucks!
-Here's the plan: we'll get a...a flatbed, I guess, with a big winch, figure a five ton anyway.
-We'll take your word for it.
-Prairie dog burrow...
-God, the live ones smell worse tan the dead ones.
-I don't know. If this one's any faster than that other one...
-Well...haven't seen a sign for hours. Maybe it's long gone.
-Maybe it is. Why don't you take a little stroll and see?
-Son of a bitch!
-Son of a god<u>damned</u> bitch! Been waiting there all this time. How the hell's it even know we're still here?
-You know, I hate to be crude, but I'm gonna have to take care of some business here.
-Well, folks, what's the plan?
-Don't he have a home to go to?
-Run for it? Running's not a plan. Running is what you do when the plan fails. You're not even trying to come up with a plan!
-You go north, I'll go south.
-You're right, don't matter where they come from.
-I'm gonna kick his ass!
-Shut it up! Shut the little bastard up!
-How the hell long it take <u>you</u> to change a tire?
-Just about too damn long. Bolt pattern's probably wrong anyway.
-Wait a minute...the Cat. Could we take the Cat?
-Jesus. It's slower than hell.
-But...we could pull something! We could, I don't know, drag a car behind it!
-A car, huh? Like a big armored car? Need something bigger, tougher...our truck maybe...or, hell, that old semi trailer!
-Its tires are flat...
-Doesn't matter. The cat can pull <u>any</u>thing.
-Well...all <u>right</u>! We just roll on out of here!
-<u>I'm</u> making the run to the Cat.
-Like hell you are.
-Get real. I'm faster than you.
-<u>I'm</u> best at driving the Cat.
-Watch your ass, shithead.
-Damn it. What the hell are they doing? They're up to something.
-Come on, everybody! We gotta run for those rocks over there!
-Well...that's it. We're not getting off this rock...
-Come on, you're not going to do your lasso thing...?
-They're...they're trying to make us move!
-Or just knock us over. Look, use the bomb!
-Use the fucking bomb!
-So, we get back on that rock and in three days we're dead anyway.
-What the hell are you doing?!!
-Light it, man! LIGHT IT!!
-Road's in!
-Road's in! Now, soon as we hit Bixby we start making phone calls. We could make some real money off this whole thing, get in <u>People</u> magazine...
-<u>People</u>? Hell, <u>National</u> <u>Geographic</u>.
-Sell the movie rights. We're going straight from blue-collar to white -collar.
-Yeah...but no ties.
-Christ, Val, maybe she's not your type, but you could, at least, be civil.
-Civil? I'm civil.
-Somebody paying you to do this?
-Fine, make the mistakes I did. I think I'll just be playing this hand myself.
-What?
-She likes <u>both</u> of us. We both helped her out.
-You are so full of shit...
-How's she doing?
-Well, I brung her something I know she likes.
-Damn, Fred, you can't give away all those.
-Forget it. I got vegetables coming out my ears. Usually the varmints eat up half my crop, but lately I ain't so much as <u>seen</u> a gopher or a jack-rabbit nowheres.
-We playing cards tonight?
-I think I'm gonna be sitting up with her.
-I'd do the same. Well, catch you Thursday.
-Hi, guys, what you been up to?
-Down, honey, down.
-Burt! Heather!
-Yeah, Val.
-We're here, Val. Just tell us what you need. Come back.
-Val, we're going to have to forget about the truck...
-I'm dead. Let's finish in the morning.
-We have to go into Bixby in the morning. The concrete blocks are in.
-The con...! Oh my God.
-Just keep looking at that beautiful sky.
-What?
-That's the sky that's going to be over our roof every night, when we're done.
-Well, what's wrong with it?
-You sure this is where it was?
-Come on. Get away from it!
-Hey Val, listen. Bearing going out, you think?
-And I appreciate it.
-I don't believe this. The phone is out! Pham, your phone is out!
-Twenty.
-I've got a plan. You and Val take your truck, get to the mountains. Hike to Bixby. Get us some help.
-Hi, I'm Rhonda. Rhonda LeBeck. I'm up here for the semester...
-Yeah, geography.
-Listen, got a question for you. Do you know if anybody is doing any blasting or drilling or anything like that?
-Around here? Why would they?
-Well, I'm supposed monitor these seismographs. You know, they measure vibrations...
-Yeah, vibrations in the ground.
-Darn it!
-You okay?
-Think it's still following us?
-Ready?
-Rhonda's got an idea about that.
-You paying attention? This oughta hurt like hell.
-What's it doing?
-Yeah, they're confused. They can feel our vibrations, but they can't find us.
-What?!! Since when the hell's every goddamn thing up to us?!
-Look, the situation hasn't changed. We still have to get to solid rock. There must be <u>some</u> way!
-Listen, they only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
-I think the ground's getting closer. I think we do it. We're gonna save our asses here!
-Wait! How are you going to know they're all following it?
-It worked! There they go!
-I brought it... to the coroner.
-From Chinatown... Which is right up the street from the morgue! Where did you go with the body? What did you do with it?
-You're fishing. You don't know shit.
-...we had to lick his boots clean.
-He was your snitch.
-Our own Colombian Connection... For three years... Three years of ball breaking detective work. And we put a lotta bad guys behind bars.
-Demerol? What the fuck is your problem, man? You wanna die?
-...Where're we goin'?
-That-a-boy. Hospital.
-I don' need a hospital... I feel fine.
-The photo on the left shows the bullet that killed Jimmy Chin, true?
-True.
-And the one on the right is the bullet you test-fired from Shu's gun?
-You would have the court believe that these two bullets were fired from the same gun?
-Or this -- is this a significant difference?
-Forensic ballistics isn't an exact science, is it?
-It most certainly is.
-Isn't there a ten to fifteen-percent margin of error?
-Absolutely not. No more than seven percent.
-Ms. Vin's sister.
-I have to talk to your brother.
-Gimme back my bottle.
-Don't hurt him.
-Where's the nearest hospital?
-Objection, your Honor! The fact that the witness is currently a patient is immaterial!
-I will allow the witness to testify. With the understanding that your questions are confined to the area of Mr. Kim's modus operandi.
--- With objection!
-Your Honor, that's not fair -- !
-Objection.
-I move that the witness's testimony be stricken. He has clearly been terrorized by the prosecution, he's --
-Good morning, Mr. Dowd. Do you think you might be up to cross-examining Mr. Ortega this morning?
-Well then, does the defense have any witnesses?
--- Then you don't wish to call any witnesses, Mr. Dowd?
-You can't come back here... Anything happens to you I'm liable.
-I'm a lawyer. The firm is thinking about renovating. Everything dates back to the Sixties.
-I noticed.
-Look, I'm a lawyer and --
--- I don't care who you are. You could've been killed. Every man and woman in here has done hard prison time. And we look out for each other.
-"We"?
-"Art's Supplies" is founded on trust, Mister --
-Dowd. Eddie Dowd.
-What, "everything"? You shot a corpse. I don't give a shit about that -- !
-Let's snuff this lowlife!
-Hey -- the fact you popped Jimmy Chin in broad daylight proves it wasn't premeditated. Jury'll sympathize -- dude was banging your wife, right?
-Clyde, you wait here. Glenn, got a minute?
-I had a minute before the Mapp hearing -- but I couldn't get you on the phone, Eddie...
-No it's not the only issue. There's another issue, for the jury. What about entrapment?
-We don't prosecute people because in the abstract they might be weak. Judge Brandeis said it best: Entrapment is a "dirty business!"
-Haven't heard that one before, Ed. But I guess I'll be hearing it again.
-Come now. Did you see the gun?
-I can describe it.
-Oh really?
-It was silver, with a stubby barrel... snub-nosed, I think they call it... It wasn't automatic, it had one of those... cylinders...
-You can't remember that -- !
-I can see the hammer still, it was cocked...
-How can you remember that?
-I didn't take my eyes off it!
-Not the whole time, of course. I --
-Exactly what information led you to arrest my client just two-and-a-half hours after the shooting took place?
-We had a description of the suspect.
-We had information bearing on Mr. Kim's desire to gain admission into the Joe Boys by assassinating a member of a rival gang.
-You're implying that I planted a gun?
-Not at all --
-Kim's prints were all over it -- He admitted it was his gun, f'r godsake!
-You see that? You wanna be like that?
-No. No...
-We have a full caseload, Rog.
-Right, I forgot... We're pledged to protect every mid-level drug dealer in the Tri-state area. It's an awesome responsibility.
-I don't venerate drug dealers, Roger. To the contrary.
-Of course.
-...through use of informants, eavesdropping, unreasonable search and seizure...!
-Right. You're right.
-It's just... I leave behind friends, family, a coupla good job offers in Chicago and in three dizzying weeks I've helped acquit a coke dealer, a speed dealer --
-I specialize, Roger...
--- an angel dust dealer --
-I'm not a kid anymore, I can't be all over the map --
--- a speed manufacturer --
-So go take your job on Wall Street.
-Don't tell me where to work. I moved to New York to work for Edward Dowd. But I can't believe that Edward Dowd has nothing better to do these days than invoke exalted legal issues to get off guilty little --
-Ten years is a long time.
-Where?
-Kim got busted at 19 for burglary. At 20 he was convicted in the shooting death of a young Chinese gang lord... The prosecution claimed Kim did it to get into "the Joe Boys"?
-Chinatown street gang.
-Kim denied it. But he admitted the gun was his, and he got life. Seems to have been an okay prisoner for eight years, til the... incident with Duane Lindeman.
-At the trial, you said you were at your apartment that night. Alone.
-...So what would we claim? He stabbed Duane Lindeman in self-defense?
-I feel like I've been mugged... Guy scared the shit out of me. You made your point, Eddie... I'm relieved we're not taking the case.
-We're taking the other case.
-What other case?
-Some gang punk gets wasted in front of the tourists. The mayor pressures the cops. The cops pressure the rival gang -- the Joe Boys. The Joes give up Shu Kai Kim -- the schmuck kid from Korea who's been pestering 'em to get in.
-You really think that's what happened?
--- Easy as that, huh?
-Easy? No... We have to find some piece of evidence that got buried, to reopen the sucker.
-When did you start working for the goddam D.A.?
-Eddie... What's a DD-5?
-A Complaint Follow-Up form.
--- Listen: "November 5, 1980. Cecil Stipe walked into 5th Precinct. Says he witnessed Chin shooting, saw suspect's picture in Post. Says Shu Kai Kim wrong man."
-That DD-5.
-What, the lunatic who --
-Do you have to do that?
-Shoulda told the one about Shu being the bastard child of Mother Theresa.
-His name is Chuckie Roeder. But something's very weird.
-They're just frightened, fucked-up losers that prison fucked up worse.
-I didn't ask for a closing argument.
-There's no one else to talk to. The tattoos were phony!
--- Yeah?
-So an upstanding member of the Aryan Warriors wouldn't paint them on. They take those teardrops seriously -- they're badges of courage, of honor. Only their most vicious killer elite get to wear them...!
-I feel much better now.
-Uh, Eddie? The, um, ballistics guy, George...? He called, and... His tests show that Shu's gun fired the bullet that killed Jimmy Chin.
-A fucking wheelchair?
-Eddie Dowd.
-Goddam it... the little punk bests me again, I get thrown down and lectured at and where the hell were you?
-1530 Rivington Street.
--- What?
-Chuckie's address. I sneaked a peek at the Rolodex.
-So what're we gonna do?
-...What do you mean?
-Well, I mean, Roeder's gone, now... A dead end. Believe me, I'm sorry too, but...
-But what?
-I've heard from the last ballistics expert on the list. It's an even ten who say Shu's gun killed Jimmy Chin!
-That's why I hate experts.
-Eddie... it's one thing to compare Clyde Gruner to Jesus Christ. It's even okay to claim that Shu Kai Kim is just slightly holier than the Pope... as long as you don't really believe it!
-Hey -- you believe what you want. Shu Kai Kim is innocent.
--- Eddie...
-You're carrying that around like it was a picture of your girlfriend! I don't want to see your heart broken when this case crashes and burns!
-But Roeder's dead. Ballistics says it's Shu! We don't have one witness -- unless we put Cecil Stipe on the stand...
-I'm not that desperate.
-I am. Eddie -- we've got nothing.
-I've got a meeting in Chinatown.
-Let's get a cab.
-Eddie -- it's Art Esparza!
-What's Art Esparza?
-I think he hired Shu to kill Jimmy Chin... It wasn't a Chinatown gang hit -- Jimmy Chin and Art's wife were lovers! She just about told me...!
-You phoned up Art Esparza's wife?
--- What?
-They could've been brothers. It's why the eyewitnesses picked Shu.
-"The killer wasn't Chinese"... Cecil Stipe was right. .!
-...Jesus!
-How long did it take Badalato to drive Jimmy Chin's body from Chinatown to the morgue?
-You're the police expert in Chinatown gangs?
-...For ten years, now.
-Do you speak Cantonese, Mandarin, or both?
-Pardon... Which dialect do you speak?
-They're Chinamen who speak English. We call them informants.
-Murder witness.
-You're doing a murder case?
-Stipe was just one of four eyewitnesses who came forward, Kitty. Y'oughta start looking for the others...
-Lemme guess. Some corporate V.P.'s banging his secretary over lunch and you have to focus your camera and plug in your little tape recorder.
-Beats getting paid in twenties by slimedogs selling angel dust to high school seniors.
-Just which Constitutional amendment protects our right to peddle PCP?
-Forget it. You've blown your chance to participate in this case, Kitty.
-Start looking into the Joe Boys -- who assigned the hits in 1980, what rank generally did the hits... Your extensive law enforcement contacts should be of some use.
-I embellished.
-"Dowd also reports that his team of private investigators..."?
-I embroidered.
-"...are close to naming the man they believe actually killed Jimmy Chin"?
-So there goes your theory about the Joes giving up Shu to protect their trigger man.
-I've phoned every art supply retailer and wholesaler in the Tri-state area. No one's heard of Chuckie Roeder.
-A fucking wheelchair?
-I didn't put him in a wheelchair. Reynard did. He can get around without one -- it's all in my report.
--- Find him?
-The Joe Boys in 1980...!
-I haven't thanked you for your work, Kitty. You're doing good work.
-I'm a professional, Eddie. Getting paid is all the thanks I require.
-I haven't paid you.
-Got any booze in the house?
-You don't drink "booze".
-You do.
-Eddie this is silly... are we supposed to pretend nothing's happened in the last ten years and --
-Eddie... A guilty client's not the end of the world...
-Eddie... go home. Get some sleep.
-I don't need sleep!
-I need sleep. Some of us are mere mortals.
-My mother find you?
-That's right.
-Figures.
-Want to tell me what went down here?
-Racist asshole came at me.
-Exactly what happened then?
-I killed the motherfucker.
-An Aryan Warrior with black teardrops painted on his face.
-But why would a guy would do that? Paint black teardrops on his face?
-I guess he... wanted you to think he was... somebody he wasn't.
-But why?
-Maybe... because someone's afraid.
-Afraid of what?
-I don't know. The truth, maybe.
--- About what?
-About Chinatown. What went down.
-What went down?
-You tell me, man.
-No. You tell me, Shu.
-How can I tell you what I don't know!
-You can't. So tell me what you do know -- say it!
-I don't know shit, man! Goddammit --
-No.
-...I'm dying out there.
-Quite a bit you didn't tell me.
-I didn't need to know that a man I'm defending on a gang-murder rap is a prison soldier who kills over drugs?
-It was self-defense.
--- How could I help you?
-When you leave this place you're going out to dinner or a movie or get laid. Where's our bond? I'm going back to my cell and wait to die. So tell me: Where's our bond?
-'lo, Cecil.
-See-cil.
-Oh come on, Cecil.
-I did two tours in 'Nam...
-Are you willing to testify that the man you saw shoot Jimmy Chin was not the man the cops arrested?
-They g-got the wrong g-guy.
-When the D.A. hears I filed the writ, he'll send someone here, maybe claiming to be a journalist. That person will ask you lots of questions. Just be truthful, Cecil, okay? To all of us?
-...You told the Desk Sergeant you were certain Mr. Kim wasn't the killer? You left your telephone number?
-Y-yes, sir.
-Did the police make any attempt to phone you, to follow up?
-No, s-sir.
-I'd l-like to answer the question.
-Edward T. Dowd.
-Of course you know Dean Rabin, one of my Assistant D.A.s. Dean generally handles nuisance cases like the... what's the man's name?
-Shu Kai Kim.
-You won't remember this, but in '72 I was one of several prosecutors assigned to the Black Panther-Police Shootout. We had a whole team, and you walked into court by yourself and kicked our collective butt. So what've you been up to since then?
-This and that.
-My staff tells me it's been mostly drug pushers... I said that can't be the same Edward Dowd.
-It's in the area of narcotics, Mr. Reynard, that the government tramples on the Fourth Amendment.
-I'm sorry if I've ruined your day, Mr. Reynard. But my client's had a rough eight years behind bars and --
-Back in the Seventies I spent years putting away gangsters in a Colombian syndicate called "the Ochoa". These guys are very dangerous, Ed. When I hear that a small-time dope lawyer is conniving to spring one of these guys, I see red.
-Now maybe you got this case reopened because you see yourself as a thorn in society's side, or you want to walk into any restaurant in Chinatown and get free dumplings...
-Are you implying that my motives are less than sincere?
-Yes, but that's not the issue. What's on your wish list, Ed? Pleading Kim out to first degree man on both homicides, with an agreed sentence of 15 to life running concurrent? Come on... What're you looking for here?
-What am I looking for? You're the one talking deal.
-Friday's the drop-dead date on the offer.
-Please don't bullshit me, Mr. Reynard. You've got witness problems, you've got proof problems...
-I see: He'd walk out next month.
-That's right.
-We reconvict, your man's looking at 25 years on two counts, served consecutively. So what I'd like to ask, Ed, is: Are you joking?
-I never joke about waiving a client's Sixth Amendment right to trial.
-You're pissing me off again, Ed.
-But now you've strayed from your area of expertise -- dope -- into street assassins. A subject on which you're dangerously ignorant.
-But I'm a quick study. Tell your Deputy D.A. -- Rabin? -- that I'll see him in court.
-I'll prosecute anyone who fucks up. If that makes me look racist, it's a trade-off I'll live with, Ed.
-Isn't it a fact that the "six other Asian men" in the line-up were all of the classic Mongoloid type, whereas Shu has the distinct facial bone structure of a Korean?
-Objection. The witness is not an expert in racial classification.
-Isn't it a standard trick to pack a line-up with men who resemble each other but look different than the suspect, so the suspect will stand out for the eyewitnesses?
-Isn't it unusual for a man who's just committed a murder in plain sight to bring the weapon back to his apartment?
-You don't speak any Chinese dialects? Then you get your intelligence from snitches?
-To the best of your recollection, were you sober when you performed the tests?
-Your Honor, that's trial by ambush!
-We just discovered him, your Honor! His appearance is critical to a fair presentation of our case! He is an inmate at Ossining Correctional and --
--- Objection, your Honor! This case has no connection with any subsequent act my client may be charged with!
-The witness is recalcitrant, your Honor -- I had to personally make a body attachment this morning -- it took two Marshalls to drag him here!
-The great personal sacrifices endured by Mr. Reynard have no bearing on the legal issues, your Honor -- !
-Your Honor, I know as much about these gangs as anyone; I'm well aware of the secrecy in which their machinations are cloaked... I assure you this witness offers the court a rare opportunity to place the defendant's crime --
--- alleged crime --
--- Can't Mr. Dowd find his own expert witness, your Honor?
-Yes, Mr. Dowd.
-Didn't this investigation, with its attendant publicity, catapult you into the office you now hold?
-Did you do any hands-on work or did you just supervise, from on high?
-Mr. Dowd, I was personally involved with all phases -- and principals -- of the investigation.
-Lou Sklaroff, Vin Badalato, Dave Montell.
-In those days, they often worked as a team.
-I don't think I know that name.
--- But you just said you were personally involved with all the principals of the investigation.
-I can't be expected to remember the name of every informant eight years after the fact.
-I didn't say he was an informant. But since you mentioned it, wasn't Esparza your primary informant?
-Isn't it true that without Esparza, you had no investigation?
-I think you're a dangerous man, Mr. Dowd.
-No.
-You read Eddie's Chase Manhattan Bombing summation in the Leftist Law anthology?
-My skip-trace turned up two Cecil Stipes. One's in Butte, Montana. Other's at Riverhead Veterans Psychiatric.
-I'll take odds on Cecil Number Two.
-You getting this?
--- Every word.
-It's okay. It was always like that.
-Shouldn't one of us...?
-What do you want?
-What were you... Why were you at Shu's trial this afternoon?
-I followed you here from court.
-I knew Jimmy Chin. The boy who was shot. Okay?
-...And you were at the trial to... to see that justice was done?
-Then it was your idea to have Chuckie Roeder scare Eddie off the case?
--- Why don't you ask Chuckie?
-Look. Mister --
--- Roger --
-Mr. Ortega, you've known the defendant at Ossining Correctional for how long?
-Five years.
-Mr. Ortega... What is "La Compania"?
-A Cubano army, basically... inside and outside prisons.
-And its purpose?
-Fighting the Aryan Warriors and the Black Guerrillas, basically.
-For control of the prison drug trade?
-Do the rival gangs compete for control of the prison drug trade?
-Yeah, we do some of that.
-"Name, rank and serial," Mr. Ortega. Let's not hide behind the Fifth.
-I'm a soldado in the G-Wing Regiment.
-And what does a soldado -- a soldier -- do?
-A soldado, he runs messages and materiel between the regiments...
-"Materiel"? What do you mean by that?
-Cigarettes, candy bars... PCP, crack...
-If a member of the Aryan Brothers tries to cut in on your distribution?
-...A soldado, he takes care of it.
-By "takes care of," you mean "kills".
-Mr. Ortega, what is Shu Kai Kim's rank within La Compania?
-Soldado.
-Isn't it unusual for an Asian to be accepted into a Cuban prison gang?
-Shu's the only one I know of...
-And why was an exception made?
-Chinatown. Sounded pretty cold...
-You're a l-lawyer? I... I haven't had my meds, or m-my vital signs t-taken yet. I...
-Mr. Stipe. A young man named Jimmy Chin was shot to death eight years ago, in Chinatown. Do you remember talking to the police?
-I think what Eddie wants to say is --
-CIA?
-Telephone. I suppose you don't know the phone company killed Kennedy because he was trying to b-break it up -- and they'll never let that happen. They control everything: what you say in the mouthpiece is never exactly what comes out the other end, and --
-The phone company was broken up.
-Cooper, the ooze of mumbo jumbo is rising up above our heads. Do you honestly think Cole's practice of word association works?
-The very fact that we are talking about word association means we are in a space that was opened up by our practice of word association. The world is a hologram, Albert.
-Yes, it's a great big psychedelic circus ride, isn't it, Cooper?
-Albert.
-You said, "Teresa Banks", so you think something is going on somewhere in the world right now that is connected with her murder?
-Yes. Either right now or right when I thought of it. The name and memory of Teresa Banks is haunting me. Lately I have been filled with a knowingness that the murderer will strike again. Because it is only a feeling, I am powerless to stop it. And another thing, Albert, when the next murder happens you will help me solve it.
-Let's test it for the record. Will the next victim be a man or a woman?
-A woman.
-What color hair will she have?
-Blonde.
-Tell me some other things about her.
-She's in high school. She's sexually active. She's on drugs. She's crying out for some help.
-You're describing half the high school girls in America. What is she doing right now?
-No... No, go away.
-I'm glad you let me talk to you. You used to not let me talk to you.
-Go away. I am not talking to you.
-SEE WHAT WE CAN DO TO DONNA?
-That's not important. I will tell you what is important. The fan will soon be starting.
-Who are you? Who are you REALLY?
-No.
-I want you to kill for me.
-No. Never. You'll have to kill me.
-Where were you for the last hour? I've been lookin' for you?
-I'M NOT KIDDIN'. WHERE WERE YOU? WHO WERE YOU WITH?
-Get lost Bobby.
-Oh, yeah? You'll be callin' soon and maybe I'm not gonna be there.
-I'm nearly out.
-It's taken care of, babe. You and I are going to make a big score tonight. This will tide you over.
-Thank you, Bobby. A big score?
-Maybe our biggest. I'll see you two doors down from your place at 11:00.
-Here he comes.
-This isn't Mike. Is this Mike?
-Babe, I'm on my way out to the woods to divvy up the product. Put this cash in your safety deposit box... It's ten thousand dollars.
-Bad news, kid, it was baby laxative.
-What was?
-The stuff we got last night.
-Baby laxative? We can't snort baby laxative.
-No shit... We killed a guy for baby laxative.
-What is the world coming to when you kill a guy for baby laxative?
-Don't get funny with me again.
-I'm not... Bobby I'm gonna need some more stuff. I mean it. I'm out.
-Yeah, and I'm gonna need that ten thousand dollars back.
-Sure, but I can't get it till after school tomorrow.
-Let's ditch this place and party.
-Not tonight. Just give me something to take home to hold me over till tomorrow.
-We can do it right here.
-Bobby's got it.
-I'm here to investigate the murder of Teresa Banks.
-Well, little fella, we don't need any outside help here. I don't like you people sniffin' around my neck of the woods. In fact, when the state boys called me about a "J. Edgar" coming up I think I said, "So what?"
-Your behavior is not funny and is wasting the time of the Federal Government.
-You're lucky I am not wasting you.
-A basic kill. Banks was a drifter and nobody knew her. My boys have been all over this. It's a dead end.
-That's why we're here, Sheriff Cable. Where's the body?
-It's 4:30. We close at five.
-What the hell is that thing doing out there? You're not taking that body anywhere.
-We're taking the body back to Portland and there's not a thing you can do about it.
-Maybe not a thing, but maybe two things.
-Teresa Banks had a ring. Any idea what happened to it?
-We got a phone, here, that's got a little ring.
-Sam, get the body and put it in the van. Sheriff Cable, where were you the night Teresa Banks was murdered?
-GOD. I'm beginning to lose faith in the United States Government and that includes the telephone system. Don't you folks talk to one another. That's her trailer there and I haven't touched a god damn thing. Agent Chet Desmond come by a second time and asked too see Deputy Cliff Howard's trailer ...which I showed him. I went back to my trailer... After that
-That's not the way to Cliff's trailer. I told you.
-I am not going to Cliff's trailer.
-Well, where are you going?
-I am going over here.
-What was here, Mr. Rodd?
-A trailer was here. What the hell do you think?
-Can you tell me who's trailer it was... and who stayed in the trailer?
-An old woman and her grandson.
-Can you tell me what their names were?
-Is that Agent Desmond's vehicle?
-Federal Bureau of Investigation, Special Agent Chet Desmond and Agent Sam Stanley. Sorry to disturb you, but we would like to see Teresa Banks' trailer, please.
-Mrs. Simmons owns the trailer and she lives in town. Teresa rented it about a month ago.
-Did she have someone with her?
-Right. She had a friend with her. The friend took off.
-Was there an argument?
-Not that I know of. But arguments do happen, don't they?
-Yes they do. Did she have visitors?
-You weren't kiddin'. This stuff's got the sting of the forty-eight hour blend.
-Is there a golf course around here?
-Thanks for your help, Carl. Sorry we woke you up.
-Okay, that's it. I've had enough of the waiting room now.
-What are you doing here in the trailer court, Deputy?
-Maybe I just live here, what do you think about that?
-Can I ask you where you were the night Teresa Banks was murdered?
-Did you know Teresa Banks?
-Got a couple of cups of coffee at Hap's from her. That's it. By the way where do you get off questioning a lawman? I could ask you the same question.
-You try that you little monkey.
-Yes...
-CHET, I AM CALLING YOU FROM PORTLAND... OREGON.
-OK, Gordon.
-NO, IT'S OREGON, PORTLAND, OREGON. IT'S REGIONAL BUREAU CHIEF COLE. OUT IN PORTLAND OREGON. I NEED YOU OUT HERE, CHET.
-OK, Gordon.
-OREGON. A YOUNG GIRL HAS BEEN MURDERED. SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. NAMED TERESA BANKS.
-GOT A MAP OF THE ENVIRONS OF THE YAKIMA INDIAN RESERVATION WITH YOUR NAME ON IT. BETTER BRING A POLE.
-Smell something fishy, huh?
-Congratulations. I heard about that.
-GOOD LUCK, CHET. SAM, YOU STICK WITH CHET, HE'S GOT HIS OWN M.O. MODUS OPERANDI. YOU CAN REACH ME AT THE PHILADELPHIA OFFICES. I AM FLYING OUT TODAY.
-What is it, Gordon?
-Phillip?
-HE'S GONE.
-What?
-QUICKLY MEN... WORD ASSOCIATION, COOP. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
-Teresa Banks.
-It was a year ago today that Teresa Banks was killed. I'm wondering if the murderer will ever kill again.
-Agent Chet said he wanted to check the trailer court one more time. He had me drive the van with the body back here. Which we did. It was 105 miles.
-Anything else?
-Did Gordon show you a woman named Lil?
-I'm up to speed, Stanley.
-Agent Chet wouldn't tell me what the Blue Rose meant.
-And neither will I.
-I cracked the Whiteman case with this.
-Stanley, I heard all about it.
-No one could've found those splinters without a machine like this and no one has a machine like this.
-Tell me about the letter.
-And no one found the ring?
-Where is the ring?
-Someone else has it now.
-That would indicate that it's the future.
-The later events have never been kept a secret.
-Where am I? And how can I leave?
-Had the FBI here once before. Back in the fifties when Hap was running the place.
-Where's Hap?
-He's dead -- good and dead.
-Sorry to hear it.
-He didn't suffer.
-I'd like to ask you a few questions about Teresa Banks
-Sheriff Cable's already asked me a few questions about Teresa Banks. She worked nights for a month. That's it.
-Any friends?
-No.
-Ever see her with someone else?
-No.
-Did she ever mention any friends?
-Take a good look around. There's nobody in this place -- you're meetin' the reason why. What'll it be?
-How come Jack let's you work here?
-Jack and I are united in holy matrimony.
-Federal Bureau of Investigation, Special Agent Chet Desmond. I'd like to ask you a few questions about Teresa Banks. Jack said you knew her. How well?
-Came looking for a job with a friend of hers. Pretty girl. Could've been her sister.
-What happened to her?
-There was only one job. Teresa took the job. Her friend took a hike. Never saw her again.
-Did you ever see Teresa take cocaine?
-No.
-Do you take cocaine, Irene?
-He's with me. Anything you would like to tell us about Teresa Banks that would help us out?
-I've thought about that. I think her death is what you would call a "freak accident".
-You know, I never told anybody, but once for about three days, just before her time, Teresa's arm went completely dead.
-What do you mean?
-Her left arm. It was numb. She said she couldn't use it. Said it had no feeling. Probably from the drugs she was taking. I just thought I ought to tell you.
-That was really something. That dancing girl. What did it mean?
-Code. If you work with Gordon you learn that right away.
-Sort of shorthand.
-Shorthand. Really?
-We're heading into a difficult situation.
-How do you figure?
-Lil was wearing a sour face.
-What do you mean?
-Oh, the uncle is missing.
-Not Cole's Uncle but probably the sheriff's uncle in federal prison.
-So the sheriff had got an Uncle who's committed a serious crime.
-Right, which is probably why Lil was wearing a red wig meaning we are headed into a dangerous situation. Let me ask you something, Stanley, did you notice anything about the dress?
-The dress she was wearing had been altered to fit her. I noticed a different colored thread where the dress had been taken in. It wasn't her dress or she must have lost some weight.
-Gordon said you were good. The tailored dress is our code for drugs. Did you notice what was pinned to it?
-A blue rose.
-What did Gordon's tie mean?
-What? That's just Gordon's bad taste.
-Why couldn't he have just told you all these things?
-He talks loud. And he loves his code.
-I see. He does talk loud.
-Gordon would not have sent us to Deer Meadow without thinking it was a high priority situation.
-Solved the Whiteman Case with this.
-That's what I heard.
-No one could find those splinters without a machine like this. And no one had a machine like this.
-That's good.
-Yes, it is good. What do you think is in these other drawers?
-I don't know, Sam.
-Maybe, later we could take a look.
-Crushed skull. Probable cause repeated blows to the back of the head with an obtuse angled blunt object. Subject looks to be between 16 and 18 years of age.
-There appears to be a contusion under the ring finger of her left hand.
-Accidental?
-What is it?
-Geez, Agent Desmond, it's three-thirty in the morning. Where are we going to sleep?
-We're not. You and I are going to get some food.
-Agent Desmond, it's...
-It's late, Sam.
-I doubt it was drugs, more likely a problem with a nerve. I could recheck the arm for injuries, but for real nerve work we are going to have to take the body back to Portland.
-I think we should see the sun rise at the Canyon Trailer Park.
-Are you speaking to me in a code?
-No, Sam, I'm speaking plainly and I mean just exactly what I say.
-She lived alone.
-You better dust this place, Sam.
-Take a look at this.
-My guess is there isn't enough detail in the photo to get an idea of the design on the ring, but we should do a blowup of this anyway.
-I couldn't help but notice that you had a suspicion that Deputy Cliff was the murderer. You did think that, didn't you, Agent Desmond?
-He's not the murderer. But he's a bozo.
-When he says, "Discussion", how do you take that, Agent Desmond?
-One thing that has been troubling me. That lamp at the diner. Do you think they were working on it for esthetic reasons or was their work due to faulty wiring?
-Faulty wiring.
-Esthetics are subjective, aren't they, Agent Desmond? I'm Sam Stanley. If you ever need me.
-Thanks, Sam, for the good work. You have a good eye for detail.
-If I am going to get through math today, you're going to have to bring me up to speed quick.
-You didn't do your homework?
-Noooo...
-Okay, this test is going to be about the theorems I told you about last week. You remember the...
-Don't tell me now. Tell me right before the test. I won't be able to remember long enough.
-You graduating this year will be proof that miracles happen.
-James called me last night looking for you.
-When?
-The usual, 9:15.
-He probably wanted to drive over.
-Were you with Bobby? Or are you two still fighting?
-No, and yes. I don't know what I'm going to do about Bobby. I know he is seeing someone else and that's okay with me, and he thinks I'm seeing someone else and that's not okay with him.
-Are you going to tell him about that "someone else"?
-I don't know what to do.
-You know what your problem is? You're just too adorable...
-Laura Palmer, you're just too adorable.
-Are you going to see James tonight?
-Why are you suddenly so interested in who I am going to see at night? Nighttime is my time.
-You're telling me, but only because you never let me in on any of it... you're not going to see Bobby, are you?
-Maybe.
-Oh god, Laura.
-Well, why not?
-Yes, James is very sweet. Why don't you get out your violin, Donna?
-Sweet? God, he's gorgeous.
-Do you think that if you were falling in space you would slow down after a while or go faster and faster?
-Maybe I better start our homework.
-Okay, I suppose I should go home.
-Call me.
-Sure. What do you want me to call you?
-Laura?
-Donna, are you my best friend?
-What is it Laura? What's wrong?
-I just want a friend. Just one friend for just one minute...
-Laura, how about one friend for the rest of your whole life?
-Yes, that's what I want. Thanks D.
-Okay, L. I am your friend... always. But sometimes... lately... I feel that you don't like being around me because I am so uptight. No, I am uptight. I hate it... I don't want to be this way, but Laura I don't... I mean... I'm your friend no matter what way you are.
-Do you want to talk?
-I'm in a mess today, too. I'm thinking about doing it with Mike. What do you think?
-Donna, you are such a crack up. You don't even like Mike. Is this what you are going to do to show me you are not uptight.
-This is about sex, not like. Mom, Laura's here and I think I will have one of those huckleberry muffins. You want a muffin?
-If I can smoke it.
-You want a muffin?
-Goodbye, Muffin.
-Where are you going?
-No place, fast. And you're not coming.
-Isn't tonight the night you are going to do it with Mike?
-Where are the Cookies?
-You mean Fred and Ginger?
-If I had a nickel for every cigarette your mom smoked, I'd be dead.
-What are you doing?
-No. I don't need to take this to be your friend.
-Don't ever wear my stuff, don't ever wear my stuff. Never.
-Okay, I won't wear your stuff... Why can't I wear your stuff?
-I won't wear your stuff. I promise.
-I can't remember anything about last night. Is there something I should remember?
-No, you should forget about last night.
-Laura, I am your friend.
-I know you are and you don't have to do anything crazy to prove it.
-You're not mad at me?
-No.
-I feel so bad. I had nightmares all night long. They all knew you at that place.
-What can I tell you?
-How did the car get back here?
-WE got it back, that's all.
-How did I get in the house? How did I get into my bed?
-I can't help you there.
-Was I wearing something of yours and you got mad at me?
-All my things have me in them. I don't want you to be like me.
-But I love you, Laura.
-And I love you, too. But don't wear my stuff.
-Why do you do it, Laura?
-Hey, Pete. Can't believe your tank's dry up at the mill.
-No... hell, no. Just got in the truck, started drivin', looked down at the gauge and saw a big "E" starin' at me.
-You know what that Big "E" stands for? Big Ed's Gas Farm.
-Yep. You're right. That's why I'm here.
-What'll it be?
-Fill 'er up.
-You got it.
-Nice night.
-You missed somethin', Ed.
-I did? I didn't see anything.
-Even this heavy work beats being at home with the old ball and chain.
-My secret diary. There are pages missing.
-Who would do that?
-Bob.
-But Bob isn't real.
-The pages are gone. That's real.
-Maybe.
-The diary was hidden too well. He's the only one who could know where it was. He's getting to know me, now. He's real. He speaks to me.
-What does Bob say?
-He wants to be me... or he will kill me.
-No... No...
-You're not Bob are you, Harold? If you are, you can kill me right now. Kill me right now, if you are.
-I hate him, I hate it. Sometimes I love it. But now I'm afraid. I am so afraid.
-What about James? Can't James help you? You two are so in love.
-He's in love with a girl who's dead. It is dangerous for you to have it. I'm sorry.
-Laura, you didn't come and see me today.
-I couldn't it was Johnny Horne's birthday. I promised I'd be with him. I told you not to call me here.
-A little trouble with your parents is the least of your worries and something I am certainly willing to put up with.
-I'm not.
-Did you make me a tape?
-I already made you two tapes.
-Laura, you have to deal with all of this.
-I'm dealing with it, Doc. Big time. Maybe I'll make you a tape tomorrow. Goodnight.
-Baby, you know why? Cause it'll never get here.
-Hey, Jacques...
-No "Jacques". I am the Great Went.
-I am The Muffin.
-That's right. She called me. She even asked me what your fathers looked like...
-What? She asked about my father?
-Right on time, baby.
-Buy me a ticket to The Great Went.
-We're on our way, Baby.
-James...
-Laura, I'll meet you at 2:30 after phys. ed.
-Laura, do you love me?
-Yes, I love you. I've told you, but it doesn't really matter.
-Why? It does.
-No, it doesn't... just kiss me.
-It does matter. We're in love.
-James, you don't know what you are talking about. Quit trying to hold on so tight. I'm gone... long gone like a turkey through the corn.
-You're not a turkey. A turkey is one of the dumbest birds on earth.
-Where were you last night? We were supposed to get together. You didn't show up.
-You were supposed to show up. Maybe I wasn't.
-We were supposed to be together.
-How can I be together if I'm not together?
-You're on somethin' again, aren't you?
-James...
-I've got to see you.
-Not now.
-This afternoon?
-Okay. Oh god, it's Johnny Horne's birthday today.
-What about tonight?
-I can't tonight.
-What's going on?
-What the hell is wrong with you?
-That's right. There's no place left to go is there, James?
-What do you mean?
-You know it and I know it.
-What is wrong with us?... We have everything.
-Everything, but everything.
-Oh, Laura.
-You always hurt the ones you love.
-You mean the ones you pity.
-Say anything you want... I know you love me and I love you.
-Shit, maybe he'll kill you.
-What?
-When he finds out.
-What?
-Bobby killed a guy.
-What are you talking about? Bobby didn't kill anybody.
-You want to see...
-See what?
-Johnny, Johnny... let your Daddy and your Uncle and Leland talk. Ben... Leland, we can play the French against the Norwegians. What do the French love more than anything?
-Boating?
-No.
-Hiking?
-No.
-Eating?
-You'd think so.
-Sex?
-You're getting warmer.
-Trees?
-History is on our side, Ben. It's no accident that the great explorers were named Hennepin, Nicollet, Marquette.
-Josie, I think we should go public.
-That would be wonderful, but it's only been a year since Andrew died.
-What are you afraid of? What people think?
-I don't want to offend the customs of your country.
-Believe me, Josie, you would not offend the customs of this country. For instance, I don't eat fish eyes.
-Fish eyes?
-Even if it offended someone, I wouldn't eat a fish eye.
-Why wouldn't you eat a fish eye, Harry?
-I'm not saying it's right or wrong, it's just the way I feel. It's the custom thing I was thinking of. In America we don't use any part of the fish but the meat just to the side of the insides. We throw away the tail, the rest of the insides and the head.
-I understand.
-Can I take the car?
-Sure honey, what's the hurry?
-Laura.
-You lied to me about those school books. I found them upstairs on your bed.
-What were you doing in my room?
-I was looking for that blue sweater that you borrowed which I found balled up in the bottom of your closet. Now why did you lie to me? Where did you go?
-I had to see Bobby. I know you really don't like Bobby, but there was a problem and I didn't think you would understand.
-Oh, honey, you don't have to lie to me. Ever. You can tell me anything. I'll understand.
-I'm sorry, Mom.
-Laura, now I can't find that blue sweater. Did you take it again?
-My god, I am going to have another breakdown. God, god.
-I hate asparagus.
-Where's Dad?
-Ben asked him to stay late to plan for the Norwegians.
-If it's okay with you I'm going to Bobby's to do my homework.
-Good night, Mom.
-Dad.
-The Norwegians are coming next week and I want you to learn to say what I just learned in Norwegian. So you can talk to them. I want you to learn to say, "Hello, my name is Leland Palmer".
-Hi, honey, how's Donna?
-Fine.
-School?
-...school's fine...
-Sit down... sit down... Are you hungry?
-Let me see.
-Dad...
-Who was that?
-A friend from school.
-Dad... Dad... Who was that? How do you know him? He looked familiar. Have I met him?
-No, you haven't met him. Have you met him?
-No.
-We're late to get to your mother.
-Just sit here for a moment. You seem very upset.
-Are you sure you're okay?
-Dad?
-Yes.
-Did you come home during the day last week?
-No.
-Oh, I thought I saw you.
-You know, I did come home, come to think of it, on Thursday. I had a severe headache and I was driving in the neighborhood so I just darted in and out of the house. Where were you, Laura? I didn't see you?
-Laura. What's wrong this morning?
-DON'T MAKE ME DO IT.
-NO, YOU HAVE TO KILL ME.
-I always thought you knew it was me.
-Hello, Laura. Hello Sarah. Where's my axe? "I'm hungry".
-Neither is mine. And can't we talk about something serious for a change.
-Leland, what are you doing?
-Leland...
-Did you get this from your lover?
-They don't call them lovers in high school, Leland.
-Bobby didn't give you this?
-Did Bobby give you that or is there someone new?
-Leland leave her alone... She doesn't like that. Stop it.
-Oh, Leland, sit down and eat you dinner.
-When's the next business trip, big fella?
-Soon. How about next time we party with the girlfriends you told me about?
-What are you doing?
-Who am I?
-I don't know.
-What's wrong?
-Someone who knows how to clean knows where the object was before she started cleaning and then that object goes back to its exact same spot. Shelly, I know where everything in this house is. Sometimes on the road I mentally go through this whole house and picture where every item is.
-Lay off the bennies, Leo.
-That's one thing you are going to learn, Shelly, -- HOW TO CLEAN. It takes scrubbing, Shelly. There is no easy way. THIS IS WHERE WE LIVE, SHELLY.
-As if I didn't know.
-I'm going to show you how to wash this tile and then you're going to do it.
-Come off it, Leo. I'm late for work...
-Shelly, would you give Laura a quick hand with the "Meals on Wheels"?
-I'm kind of busy, Norma.
-Laura just took off. She asked me to do the run today. Should I do it?
-What's with that Laura? Yeah, sure, take a look around. There's no one here anyway.
-You're right. There's no one here.
-There's no one here.
-Come back as soon as you can.
-If Leo comes here, he won't believe that I am out doing the "Meals on Wheels".
-Mr. Abraham...
-Abrams...
-Abrams. Yes. How are you today?
-I'm fine.
-Good. You ever been inside a hospital?
-Yes.
-Why did he go to see Mary Rooney?
-She's the only nurse who isn't testifying for the Doctors.
-What did he find?
-Nothing.
-How good's your intelligence?
-Very good.
-And so what is the rest of his case aside from Dr. Thompson?
-He was accused of jury tampering.
-Accused. Not indicted. He resigned the firm. Divorced nineteen seventy. Galvin worked with Michael Morrissey until Morrissey retired in 'seventy- eight. Since then he's been on his own. Four cases before the Circuit Court. He lost them all. He drinks.
-Four cases in three years...
-The man's an ambulance chaser...
-...tell me about this case.
-This is a nuisance suit. He's looking for small change. He's asking for six hundred thousand and betting we don't want to go to court.
-No -- we don't want this case in court.
-Neither does he. That's where he loses. This man's scared to death to go to court. We only have to call his bluff.
-I want to settle this thing and be done with it. I don't want the Archdiocese exposed.
-No. Absolutely, and we're going to see that it is not.
-So what I want to do is stop it here. I'm going to make him an offer. I want to do it myself. I want it to come from me.
-If we were to go to trial, would we win the case?
-Well, of course, it's always dangerous...
-I know that answer. If we went to trial would we win?
-It's a generous offer, Mr. Galvin... ...nothing can make the woman well... but we try to compensate... to make a gesture...
-How did you settle on the amount?
-We thought it was just.
-You thought it was just.
-Yes.
-Because it struck me how neatly 'three' went into the amount. Two Hundred Ten Thousand. That would mean I keep seventy.
-That was our insurance company's recommendation.
-Nothing that we can do can make that woman well.
-And no one will know the truth.
-What is the truth?
-What are you doing here?
-...here's your mail, call Mrs. Doneghy...
-...yes. Get her on the phone...
-...that was a Dr. David Gruber's office...
-Gruber...
-...he wants to testify...?
-It looks that way.
-You know what that would mean?
-To get somebody from a Boston hospital to say he'll testify?
-This is going to drive the ante up.
-That's the call that I'm waiting for.
-What does it mean?
-They want to settle. It means a lot of money.
-You are aware of the penalties for perjury...?
-It's a crime.
-Yes. It is a crime. A serious crime.
-I wouldn't do it.
-You would not...?
-No.
-In fact, you've just taken an oath that you would not commit perjury. You've just sworn to that. Isn't that right?
-Yes.
-Just now...
-Yes.
-...sworn before God you would tell the truth?
-Yes.
-Now. I'd like to ask you something: four years ago, when you were working as a nurse, are you aware that Drs. Towler and Marx based their treatment of Deborah Ann Kaye on this chart that you signed...?
-I...
-And wasn't that an oath...? These are your initials here: K.C. When you signed this chart you took an oath. No less important than that which you took today. Isn't that right? Isn't that right...?
-I... yes.
-Then, please, which is correct? You've sworn today the patient ate one hour ago. Four years ago you swore she ate nine hours ago? Which is the lie. When were you lying?
-I...
-They lied.
-'They lied.' Indeed! When did they lie? And do you know what a lie is?
-I do. Yes.
-You swore on this form that the patient ate nine hours ago.
-That's not my handwriting.
-You've just said you signed it.
-Yes, I, yes, I signed it, yes. But I, I didn't write that figure.
-You didn't write that figure. And how is it that you remember that so clearly after four years?
-...what in the world would induce you to make a photocopy of some obscure record and hold it four years? This is a... why? Why would you do that?
-I thought I would need it.
-And why, please tell us, would you think that?
-Dr. Thompson, just so the Jury knows, you never treated Deborah Ann Kaye. Is that correct?
-That is correct. I was engaged to render an opinion.
-Engaged to render an opinion. For a price. Is that correct? You're being paid to be here today?
-Just as you are, Sir...
-Are you board-certified in anesthesiology, Doctor?
-No, I am not. It's quite common in New York State...
-...I'm sure it is, but this is Massachusetts, Doctor. Certified in Internal Medicine?
-No.
-Neurology?
-No.
-Orthopedics?
-I'm just an M.D.
-Do you know Dr. Robert Towler...?
-I know of him.
-How is that?
-Through, through his book.
-What book is that?
-Meth... Methodology and Technique...
-...of Anesthesiology?
-'Methodology and Techniques of Anesthesiology.' Yes.
-How old are you?
-I am seventy-four years old.
-Uh-huh. Still practice a lot of medicine?
-I'm on the staff of...
-Yes, we've heard that. Doctor: you testify quite a bit against other physicians? Isn't that right? You, you're available for that? When you're paid to be there?
-Sir. Yes. When a thing is wrong... as in this case, I am available. I am seventy-four years old, I am not board-certified.
-I have been practicing medicine for forty-six years and I know when an injustice has been done.
-I did.
-Ed Concannon.
-Objection, we've...
-...to get her heartbeat back...?
-We've touched on this, his own witness has said...
-...almost nine minutes... causing brain damage.
-Objection!
-Your Honor, Bishop Brophy and the Archdiocese have offered plaintiff two hundred and ten thousand dollars.
-Huh!
-Mr. Concannon...?
-Nothing further, your Honor.
-Objection! This is ri... expect us to accept a photocopy, we have the original right...
-No further questions.
-Thank you, your Honor. We object to the copy of the admissions form as incompetent and essentially hearsay evidence and cite McGee versus State of Indiana, U.S. 131 point 2 and 216 through 25 of the Uniform Code: 'The admission of a duplicate document in preference to an existing original must presuppose the possibility of alteration and so must be disallowed.' And, your Honor,
-The document is disallowed, the jury will be advised not to consider the testimony of Kathy Costello regarding the Xerox form. It's unsubstantiated and we can't accept a copy in preference to the original...
-Thank you, your Honor. Further: Ms. Costello is a rebuttal witness. As a 'Surprise Witness' she may only serve to rebut direct testimony. As her only evidentiary rebuttal was the admitting form, which has been disallowed I request that her entire testimony be disallowed and the jury advised that they must totally disregard her appearance here.
-No, actually, she was referred to me. She was Dr. Hagman's patient...
-Whatever the 'truth' is, let's hear that. You were her doctor.
-Yes.
-Say it.
-I was her doctor.
-You were the anesthesiologist at her delivery May twelfth, nineteen seventy...
-...I was one of a group of...
-Answer affirmatively. Simply. Keep those answers to three words. You weren't 'part of a group,' you were her anesthesiologist. Isn't that right?
-Yes.
-You were there to help Dr. Marx deliver her baby. Were you not?
-Anything special about the case?
-Thank you. When Debby...
-Dr. Towler, who was in the operating room with you?
-Mary Rooney, the obstetrical nurse...
-What did these people do when her heart stopped?
-We went to Code Blue...
-'Code Blue,' what does that mean...?
-It's a common medical expression, it's a crash program to restore the heartbeat. Dr. Marx cut an airway in her trachea, to get her oxygen, her and the baby... Ms. Nevins...
-Why wasn't she getting oxygen...?
-Well, many reasons, actually...
-Tell me one?
-She'd aspirated vomitus into her mask...
-...and her heart stopped and she wasn't getting oxygen.
-That's right.
-And what did your team do...
-Well, we...
-...You brought thirty years of medical experience to bear. Isn't that what you did?
-Yes.
-...A patient riddled with complications, questionable information on her, on her admitting form...
-...We did everything we could...
-...to save her and to save the baby. Is that...
-Yes!
-You reached down into death. Now, isn't that right?
-My God, we tried to save her... You can't know... You can't know...
-Please sit down. I told your wife. I'm sorry that we have to meet out here. I've got a case coming in two days in the Superior Court and my office is a mess of papers.
-...that's all right.
-...the Archdiocese called up, they said who was our attorney, 'cause the case is coming to trial...
-I doubt we'll have to go to trial...
-...we told them we didn't want it to come out this way.
-I completely understand...
-What is this going to cost?
-You said you're gonna call me up. You didn't call me up. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are...?
-Hold on a second.
-It's all right, Mickey.
-You ruined my life, Mister... Me and my wife... and I am going to ruin yours... You don't have to go out there to see that girl. We been going four years. Four years... my wife's been crying herself to sleep what they, what, what they did to her sister.
-I swear to you I wouldn't have turned the offer down unless I thought that I could win the case...
-What you thought!? What you thought... I'm a workingman, I'm trying to get my wife out of town, we hired you, we're paying you, I got to find out from the other side they offered two hundred...
-I'm going to win this case... Mist... Mr. Doneghy... I'm going to the Jury with a solid case, a famous doctor as an expert witness, and I'm going to win eight hundred thousand dollars.
-If I could accept the offer right now, I would. They took it back.
-Dr. Thompson...?
-I have some errands to run, and then I thought we'd spend the evening...
-That's what I'd planned to...
-I'm going to take you to the home to see the girl...
-From what I've seen, Mr. Galvin, you have a very good case...
-Yes. Yes. I think so. I hope you'll be comfortable. I'm putting you up at my...
-...I made a reservation at...
-...apartment. No, no. Please. You don't know who we're dealing with, I, please believe me, they...
-...What difference would...
-These people play very rough. They don't want to lose this case. There's a lot of pressure they can bring to bear, I...
-Dr. Thompson. From your review of the hospital records of May twelfth nineteen seventy-six.
-In your opinion, what happened to Deborah Ann Kaye?
-Cardiac arrest. During delivery her heart stopped. When the heart stops the brain's deprived of oxygen. You get brain damage. That is why she's in the state she's in today.
-Now, Dr. Towler's testified that they restored the heartbeat within three or four minutes. In your opinion is his estimate correct?
-I didn't do too well for you.
-No, you did fine.
-I'm afraid that's not true. Will you want me to stay on till Monday?
-No. No thank you, Doctor. You go home.
-You know... sometimes people can surprise you. Sometimes they have a great capacity to hear the truth.
-You sure you don't want me to stay on.
-Are you saying that a failure to restore the heartbeat within nine minutes in itself constitutes bad medical practice?
-I... in that small context I would have... I would have to say 'no.'
-Then you're saying there's no negligence, based on my question?
-I... given the limits of your question, that's correct.
-The Doctors were not negligent.
-They gave her the wrong anesthetic.
-Why is that?
-Her sister said she ate one hour prior to admittance... she...
-...that's what the sister said. The chart said she ate nine hours prior to...
-...she went in complaining of stomach cramps. Good doctor would have doubted the information on the chart.
-Is that what a good doctor would do? How old are you, please?
-I am seventy-four years old.
-What qualifies you as an expert in anesthetics?
-I am on the staff of...
-Easthampton Hospital for Women. Excuse me, what is that, a joke? Let me tell you something, Doctor, those men at Catherine Laboure. Men who are known not only in this city, but the world, were trying to save a woman's life. They were there, and here you are, four years later, read some hospital report, and say...
-She getting good care over there?
-Actually, yes. It's by no means bad, I...
-Then what good would it do to ruin the reputation of two men, to help a girl whose life's not going to be changed in the least? You know what CODE BLUE means?
-'Code Blue'...
-Dr. Towler; page 406, 'Contraindications to general anesthetic. Ideally a patient should refrain from taking nourishment up to nine hours prior to induction of general anesthetic.' Does that sound familiar?
-'Practice and Methodology in Anaesthesia.' General textbook on the subject. Is that correct?
-I. Yes. It is.
-And you wrote that...
-Yes.
-...Page 414, 'If a patient has taken nourishment within one hour prior to inducement, general anesthetic should be avoided at all costs because of the grave risk the patient will aspirate food particles into his mask.' Is that what happened to Deborah Ann Kaye? She aspirated into her mask?
-She threw up in her mask, yes. But she hadn't eaten one hour prior to admission.
-If she had eaten, say one hour prior to admission, the inducement of a general anesthetic... the type you gave her... would have been negligent...?
-Negligent. Yes... it would have been criminal. But that was not the case.
-Dr. Gruber...
-I appreciate -- a man as busy as --
-I read the hospital report on your client.
-...Deborah Ann Kaye...
-They called, they're going to settle, what I want to do is build up as much...
-Right. Who called?
-The Archdiocese called, they want to settle... her estate...
-...and you're going to do that?
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Uh... in the, well, in the interests of her family... you, Dr. Gruber, you know, you can never tell what a jury is going to do. St. Catherine's a very well thought of institution. Her doctors...
-Her doctors killed her.
-I'm sorry...?
-Her doctors murdered her. They gave her the wrong anesthetic and they put her in the hospital for life. Her doctors murdered her.
-Do you know who her doctors were?
-I read the file. Yeah. Marx and Towler. I know who they were.
-The most respected...
-The hospital is owned by the Archdioceses of...
-We have to... we... we have to keep you under wraps. Please don't, don't discuss...
-I understand.
-Thank you...
-...that's perfectly all right.
-Uh, why, why are you doing this?
-Hi.
-I've been meaning to come in a long time.
-You live in the neighborhood?
-Uh-huh. My nephew's going to be staying with us in a few months, so I stopped by.
-How old is he?
-Thank you.
-You're really... You, are you the one they told me was the nurse?
-Who told you that?
-Mrs...
-Mrs. Simmonds.
-Yes.
-I used to be a nurse.
-Kathy Price...
-Yes...
-You were the Admitting Nurse at St. Catherine Laboure Hospital on May twelfth, nineteen seventy-six, the night Deborah Ann Kaye was admitted...
-Yes.
-These are your initials, 'K.C.'?
-D'you ask the patient when did she last eat?
-Yes.
-What did she say?
-She said she had a full meal one hour before coming to the hospital.
-One hour.
-Yes.
-And did you write the numeral 'one' down on the record, standing for one hour?
-I did.
-A single hour.
-Yessir. I'm sorry.
-Why is that?
-Now, have you boys tried to resolve your little difficulty because that certainly would save the Commonwealth a lot of time and bother.
-This is a complicated case, your Honor...
-I'm sure it is, Frank: and let me tell you something. If we find it so complex, how in the hell you think you're going to make a jury understand it? See my point? Let's talk a minute. Frank: what will you and your client take right now this very minute to walk out of here and let this damn thing drop?
-My client can't walk, your Honor.
-That's it...? Come on, guys... life is too short... You tell me if you're playing 'chicken,' or you mean it. Frank: I don't think I'm talking out of school, but I just heard someone offer you two hundred grand... and that's a lot of money... and if I may say, you haven't got the best of records.
-...things change.
-...that's true. Sometimes they change, sometimes they don't. Now, I remember back to when you were disbarred...
-I wasn't disbarred, they dropped the pro...
-And it seems to me, a fella's trying to come back, he'd take this settlement, and get a record for himself. I myself would take it and run like a thief.
-What is it?
-Thank you for seeing me.
-I need an extension for my case.
-You should have taken their offer. Especially if you were unprepared.
-I had a witness disappear on me.
-That happens.
-I could subpoena him if I had a week.
-Is the Plaintiff ready?
-Ready, your Honor.
-Do we have time this morning to... All right. Mr. Galvin, you want to continue now, or we can resume with Dr. Thompson this afternoon.
-Sustained. Yes. The witness will confine his testimony to review of the hospital records.
-What?
-Yes, Mr. Galvin?
-If I may be permitted to question my own witness in my own way...
-I got a letter from the Judge Advocate's office on you today, fella, you're on your way out... They should have kicked you out on that Lillibridge case. Now this is it today.
-I'm an attorney on trial before the bar. Representing my client. My client, do you understand? You open your mouth and you're losing my case for me.
-Listen to me, fella...
-Galvin, look, many years ago...
-And don't give me this shit, 'I was a lawyer, too.' 'Cause I know who you were. You couldn't hack it as a lawyer. You were Bag Man for the Boys and you still are. I know who you are.
-Are you done?
-Damn right I'm done. I'm going to ask for a mistrial and I'm going to request that you disqualify yourself from sitting on this case. I'm going to take a transcript to the State and ask that they impeach your ass.
-Nothing further, your Honor...
-I object, your Honor...
-Overruled...
-Exception!
-D'you find an apartment?
-Still looking.
-I changed my life today. What did you do?
-I changed my room at the Hotel.
-Why?
-The TV didn't work.
-What Hotel are you staying at?
-And what are you? A cop?
-I'm a lawyer.
-My ex-husband was a lawyer.
-Really. How wonderful for you.
-Yes. It was, actually.
-Oh, actually it was. Then why'd you call it off?
-Who says I'm the one that called it off?
-A brick house says you divorced him. I'll put you on your honor. Bet you a hundred dollars against you join me for dinner. And I'll take your word for it. Now you tell me the truth. Because you cannot lie to me. What's your name?
-Laura.
-My name's Frank. And furthermore, you came back to see me tonight.
-What if it wasn't you that I came back to see?
-The weak, the weak have got to have somebody to fight for them. Isn't that the truth? You want another drink?
-Jimmy! That's why the court exists. The court doesn't exist to give them justice, eh? But to give them a chance at justice.
-And are they going to get it?
-They might. Yes. That's the point... is that they might... you see, the jury wants to believe. They're all cynics, sure, because they want to believe. I have to go in there tomorrow to find twelve people to hear this case. I'm going to see a hundred people and pick twelve. And every one of them it's written on their face, 'This is a
-Maybe what?
-Maybe I can do something right.
-And is that what you're going to do? Is that what you're going to do...?
-Would you like me to leave...? Is this a bad time -- ?
-What...?
-Is this a bad time.
-We, we... No... we just had a small reversal in the case... I have some, uh... I have some work to do...
-What happened...?
-They, uh, they got to my witness.
-I've got to work...
-Do you want me to go...?
-Why don't you get some rest?
-I've got to work.
-You can't work if you can't think. You get in bed. It's all right. I'll stay here with you. It's all right. Come on...
-You're going to stay here...?
-Do you think it's my fault?
-Isn't there something you...
-That's not the question. It's over. Do you think that it's my fault? If I'd... if I'd... I never should have taken it. There was no way that I was going to win.
-You're talking like a drunk.
-And it's over...?
-Yes.
-Well, then what are you doing here?
-I... do you want me to leave?
-You do what you want. You want to leave... You want to go kill yourself?
-I...
-You want me to tell you it's your fault? It probably is. What are you going to do about it? I thought it's not over till the jury comes in.
-Who told you that?
-You told me so. Maybe you'd get some sympathy. You came to the wrong place.
-And what makes you so tough?
-Maybe I'll tell you later.
-Is there going to be a later...?
-Not if you don't grow up...
-If I don't 'grow up...'
-You're like a kid, you're coming in here like it's Saturday night, you want me to say that you've got a fever -- you don't have to go to school...
-You, you don't under...
-Oh, yes, I do, Joe. Believe me. You say you're going to lose. Is it my fault? Listen! The damned case doesn't start until tomorrow and already it's over for you!
-It's over!
-What is your wife's picture doing by the side of your...
-What is that to you...?
-Joe... Joe...
-You're pressuring yourself...
-No... no...
-Is it over?
-No.
-What are you going to do?
-Thank you.
-I have to talk to you.
-Continental Casualty...
-Mr. Alito, please.
-Business hours are over, Sir. This is the switch...
-I have to reach him. This is an emergency. Could you give me his home number?
-I'm sorry, Sir, we're not allowed...
-...Would you, would you call him up. I'll give you my number, and ask him...
-I can't guarantee that...
-Mr. Galvin's...
-Hello, I'm calling from...
-If you're selling something, I'm late for work...
-I'm calling from Professional Nurse Quarterly...
-From the magazine?
-This is Mr. Wallace in Subscriptions?
-How come you're calling me from...?
-This is Miss Costello...?
-Yes. Price...
-Pardon?
-Kathy Price.
-We find that your subscription lapsed...
-My subscription lapsed three years ago...
-That's why I'm calling, Miss Price...
-Missus...
-We have a renew-your-subscription offer...
-We get it at work. We get the magazine at work.
-Yes, we know that you do. I have it in my files. That's at the Manhattan Health Center...
-I'm Joe Galvin, I'm representing Deborah Ann Kaye, case against St. Catherine Laboure.
-I told the guy I didn't want to talk to...
-I'll just take a minute. Deborah Ann Kaye. You know what I'm talking about. The case is going to trial. Our chief witness is a Dr. David Gruber, you know who he is?
-No.
-He's the Assistant Chief of Anesthesiology, Massachusetts Commonwealth. He says your doctors, Towler and Marx, put my girl in the hospital for life. And we can prove that. What we don't know is why. What went on in there? In the O.R. That's what we'd like to know. Something went wrong. And you know what it was. They gave her the wrong anesthetic. What
-...you got your doctor's testimony. Why do you need me?
-I want someone who was in the O.R. We're going to win the case, there's no question of that. It's just a matter of how big...
-I've got nothing to say to you.
-You know what happened.
-Nothing happened.
-I can subpoena you, you know. I can get you up there on the stand.
-And ask me what?
-Who put my client in the hospital for life.
-I didn't do it, Mister.
-Who are you protecting, then?
-Who says that I'm protecting anyone?
-I do. Who is it? The Doctors. What do you owe them?
-I don't owe them a goddamn thing.
-Then why don't you testify?
-You know, you're pushy, fella...
-You think I'm pushy now, wait 'til I get you on the stand...
-I'm... Mrs. Doneghy? I'm Frank Galvin... why didn't you go in?
-It's locked.
-It's not a good case. It's a very good case.
-A healthy young woman goes into the hospital to deliver her third child, she's given the wrong anesthetic...
-...we, we love her, Dick and me...
-...I'm sure you do...
-But what can we do? She don't know who's visiting her...
-...I know. I went...
-...You saw her?
-Yes. Yes, I have.
-You know how beautiful she was? Her husband left her, and he took her kids... They, they, they'd let you die in there. They don't care. Nobody cares. The Patriot Home, the Chronic Care... in Arlington...? They'd take her in. Perpetual care. They'd take her. Fifty thousand dollars they want. An endowment.
-...fifty thousand dollars?
-I don't want to leave her. Dick... the, the... and Father Laughlin, he said that it was God's will...
-...I understand...
-My doctor told me that I got to move out West... that's when we filed in court. We didn't want to sue...
-...I understand...
-He saw her at the Northern Care...
-We just can't do it anymore. This is our chance to get away.
-What does it mean? I... I mean we, you have other tactics...
-We, yes. Yes. They, they present their side, and I get the same chance. To cross-examine... to... to...
-Are we going to win? We have, you know, other tactics, though...
-Dr. Gruber.
-Dr. Gruber's not in.
-I had an appointment at his office, I think I must have got it wrong. We had a meeting...
-He's not in, Sir.
-I... please. My wife... my wife's prescription has run out. If I can call him...
-Dr. Halpern's taking all his...
-No, no, no. I have to talk to him. If I can only call him...
-Another, Frank...?
-I want to buy you a drink.
-Well, well, well. Huh?
-Yeah.
-It's a long road that has no turning.
-Hi, Mickey...
-What the hell do you think you're doing...? What's going on here...?
-Uh...
-Fuck you. I got a call today from Sally Doneghy...
-...now who is that...?
-...You're 'sposed to be in court in ten days and she's telling me you haven't even met with them...
-Sally Doneghy, now who is that?
-One lousy letter eighteen months ago... I try to throw a fuckin' case your way...
-...hey, I don't need your charity...
-I have to talk to you.
-What do you want?
-Come on. Let's get a drink.
-Are you out of your mind...?
-...I'm going to need your help...
-You need my help...? You need a goddamn keeper... are you telling me that you turned down two-hundred-ten grand? Huh...? Are you nuts? Eh? Are you nuts. What are you going to do, bring her back to life?
-I'm going to help her.
-To do what...? To do what, for chrissake...? To help her to do what? She's dead...
-They killed her. And they're trying to buy it...
-Mick. Mick. Mick...
-What?
-You -- Listen: you said to me, 'if not now, when...'
-...he's a good man...
-...he's a good man...? He's the Prince of Fuckin' Darkness... he'll have people in there testifying that the broad is well -- they saw her Tuesday on a surfboard at Hyannis... don't fuck with this case.
-...I have to stand up for her...
-Frank, but not now. Frank. You're trying to wipe out some old business. But not now. I understand. But you go call 'em back. You call the Bishop back.
-Who have we got?
-We've got her sister. Testifies she had a meal one hour before she was admitted to the hospital. This is the point.
-You got the admittance form says patient ate nine hours prior to admittance.
-Admittance form is wrong.
-Forget it. You can't prove it. Sister's testimony is no good. Jury knows we win she gets the cash.
-I've got my Dr. Gruber, says her heart condition means they gave her the wrong anesthetic anyway, plus she came in complaining of stomach pains...
-...Gruber's not bad.
-Not bad...? This guy's Dr. Kildare, the jury's going to love him, Mick... And you calm down, all right? Their guy, Towler's, the author of the book, 'Methodology and Practice, Anesthesiology.' ...and they got depositions from the nurses, everybody in the operating room, the scrub-nurse... 'All these guys are God. I saw them walk on water...' They had an obstetrical nurse in there. We
-No.
-'Mary Rooney, forty-nine. Lives in Arlington, still working at the hospital.' Can you get out tomorrow? How come she isn't speaking up.
-Right.
-Okay now. Cases: Smith versus State of Michigan.
-Right.
-Brindisi versus Electric Boat.
-You got a good memory, Franky.
-Jimmy? Bushmills. Lookit, do me a favor. I'll buy you a drink tomorrow.
-Yeah? And what are you going to do tonight?
-Been a long time, huh...?
-I'm getting it back. Don't worry about me, Mick. I'm fine. D'you find the obstetric nurse?
-So what?
-So what...? The best is yet to come. Check the TV Guide. They got our Dr. Towler on a panel on GBH on Friday: 'The Healing Hand. The Experts Speak.'
-What I'm saying, they're getting some help.
-John: gimme a cuesta-ray.
-Oh shit, what's today?
-Today is Tuesday. What?
-I've got to go see Gruber. What's the best cigars you have?
-Give 'em a box of Macanudos.
-What happened, Joey...?
-I can't talk now.
-Yeah? How's our new witness?
-D'you find the obstetric nurse?
-She's workin' the late shift at the Hospital. She's at home now, I'm going over there to talk to...
-How are you holding up?
-I'm swell.
-And all we've got is a witch doctor!
-Okay. What do you do when you don't have a witness?
-You use their witness.
-That's right.
-Are you with me... are you awake...?
-Yeah. I'm awake.
-Rooney's protecting someone. Who is she protecting?
-The Doctors.
-She's protecting the Doctors she'd be up there on the stand...
-'You guys are a bunch of whores... uh... loyalty... you don't care who gets hurt... you don't have any loyalty...'
-...one of the other nurses?
-Who? They're all testifying. Everybody who was in the O.R.'s going to take the stand.
-All right. Who wasn't in the O.R.?
-Uh... the admitting nurse...
-What did she do?
-She didn't do anything. She took the patient's history and signed the charts. 'K.C.' 'Kathy Costello...'
-The 'History'...?
-We don't have anything from the Nurse Association?
-The broad has disappeared...
-...yeah... good...
-...four years ago...
-Hello. This is Mr. Dorchester in Records. We're looking for Kathy Costello...
-What the hell are you doing here?
-What are you doing in New York...?
-I talked to Johnnie White at the Bar Association. The broad used to work for one of Concannon's partners in New York awhile ago. She wanted to move to Boston. How badly did she hurt us, Joe?
-We got a mistrial, you know. Joe -- did you hear what I said...?
-I spoke to her, and everything is all right.
-I, what are you talking about? I talked to her this morning, and she said...
-She told me.
-She did?
-I just saw her.
-In New York?
-What?
-Dr. Towler...
-Yes.
-You have a record of what happened in the operating room...
-Yes, that's correct.
-...there are notations every thirty seconds...
-Yes.
-...of the procedures...
-Yes, the roving nurse...
-But those notations stop... ...Four-and-one-half minutes after Deborah Ann Kaye's...
-We, we were rather busy...
-Four-and-one-half minutes after her heart stopped. And they resume seven minutes...
-As I've said we had some more...
-...they start again three minutes earlier...
-We had rather more important things on our mind than taking notes. We were trying to restore her...
-What happened in those three...
-...we were trying to restore her heartbeat.
-What happened in those three minutes...?
-We'd gone to 'Code Blue,' we were administering electro...
-Brain damage could have been... it didn't necessarily take nine minutes, it could have been caused in two...
-Wait, wait, wait, you're saying that her brain damage could have been caused by her being deprived of oxygen for two minutes...?
-Yes.
-Huh. And why is that?
-Franky can't make it. He had an appointment he forgot, he's going to see you later. I'm Mickey Morrissey, we're supposed to get to know each other.
-How'm I doing so far?
-Stearns, Harrington, you know who that is?
-Should I?
-A huge law firm. Okay? They put him in the firm, he's married, everything's superb. Franky, he's starting to talk like he comes from Dorsetshire, some fuckin' place, 'You must drop by with Pat and me...' Okay...?
-Yes.
-...and he's making a billion dollars every minute working for Stearns, Harrington, and he bought a dog, and everything is rosy. Then Mr. Stearns, he tried to fix a case.
-The Big Boy did...?
-That Frank was working on. Yeah. He thought Franky needed some help, so they bribed a juror. So Franky finds out. He comes to me in tears. He thinks that anybody who knows what a 'spinnaker' is got to be a saint. I told him 'Franky, wake up. These people are sharks. What do you think they got so rich from? Doing good?' He
-Huh.
-Before he can get there here comes this Federal Marshal, and Franky's indicted for Jury tampering, they throw him in jail, he's gonna be disbarred, his life is over. Jimmy, gimme another drink. How are you?
-Me, too.
-Looks almost cold now, don't it?
-That won't start no more fires. We might's well go home.
-Yeah. No sense stayin' out here.
-It's an enemy sneak attack. Let's get outta here!
-Wait a minute - wait a minute!.... Bombs don't unscrew.
-It's no meteor, that's for sure!
-We'd be the first to make contact with 'em -- see?
-We'd be in all the papers!
-Hey, how about that!
-Hey, there - open up!
-That explains why communication is cut the moment their machines begin to move.
-Madrid has just blacked out!! Nothing more coming through.
-Mister Secretary - if they link up with those others near Fresno...
-There's only one thing that will stop the Martians! We've held back pre- viously because of the danger of radiation to civilians. Now there's no choice. The United Nations has voted authority to the United States. The White House will confirm an order to use the Atom bomb.
-Then our first target will be the initial landing place outside Los Angeles.
-Hey, you! Better get outa here!
-I'm looking for some Pacific-Tech professors...
-There's nobody left around here now.
-Hurry up! Jump in!
-You look kinda lost yourself.
-Is that it over there?
-Did you see it come down?
-Yes...I was fishing up in the hills.
-You must have caught plenty with all that tackle!
-Oh - there were three of us. The others flew back in my plane. I don't understand why a meteor this size didn't make a bigger crater.
-What's that fellow over there trying to do - dig it out?
-You seem to know a lot about him.
-Well, I did a thesis on modern scien- tists - working for my Masters degree.
-Did it do you any good?
-Why, sure -- I got it! Do you have a match?
-I'm sorry. I don't smoke.
-Forrester's the man behind the new atomic engines. They had him on the cover of 'Time'. You've got to rate to get that!
-Aw, he isn't that good...!
-I do know him...slightly.
-What's he like?
-Well, you certainly don't look like yourself in that get-up! But I am happy to meet you anyway. I'm Sylvia Van Buren. I teach Library Science over at USC.
-I didn't know how to stop you...!
-I might have recognized you without the beard. And you didn't wear glasses on the 'Time' cover!
-They've all stopped at the same time.
-How does it happen cars are running?
-The troops are certainly moving in here!
-Didn't you have something to do with this? I know you sent word to the Sixth Army Command!
-I just told them the local situation. Colonel Heffner's in full charge now.
-Good to see you, General. This is Pastor Collins, director of Civil Defense. Sheriff Bogany, head of the local forces ... Miss Van Buren.
-We can't go into town - everybody's getting out of there! I'll fly you over to Pasadena.
-Can you handle one of these?
-You'll hit something! Can't you go higher?
-I never noticed before - that's a cowboy tie....
-Is that... machine...?
-It's gone now.
-Where are we?
-I almost forget when I ate last. It looks so good.... You know, mostly I get my meals in coffee shops and restaurants.
-Don't you live at home?
-No, on the campus. I haven't any family.
-I come from a big one. Nine of us. All in Minnesota, except me.
-A big family must be fun...I imagine it makes you feel you belong to something.
-It does...Maybe that's why I feel kind of lost right now.
-We'll get safely out of here, don't worry.
-But they seem to murder everything that moves...!
-I've been as close to them as anyone. But not close enough for real observation...
-I stayed right by the door - praying for the one who loved me best to come and find me. It was Uncle Matthew who found me.
-He liked you ... I could bawl my head off!
-How long was I out?
-Nothing there now.
-It was... ...one of them!
-What was it like?
-I couldn't see much in the dark - but it was one!
-Maybe they aren't too sure we're here.
-They could be as curious about us as we are about them.
-They've blocked it!
-Is it possible to go in right after the explosion?
-Yes, with these suits. We've used them before on atomic tests... Odd- looking, aren't they?
-Very futuristic. Yours doesn't really go with that butch haircut!
-I could wear it longer -- but it's less trouble this way.
-My kid brother has one. You know why?
-Yes ... Fits better in a football helmet.
-How'd you guess?
-The Rockies...! You'd rather get back to that big family of yours in Minnesota, wouldn't you?
-I probably wouldn't be able to get to them if I tried...
-You'll be all right with us.... ...for as long as anybody's got!
-That's what knocked the phones out, too.
-How could it happen to everybody's watch together?
-That needle ain't pointing north!
-What is that gizmo?!
-I think that - gizmo - is a machine from another planet.
-This Martian blood... Let's make a quick analysis and see what we've got!
-A forlorn hope - but there is a chance.
-It might give us time to search out some weakness in the Martians.
-We know now that we can't beat their machines -- but we can beat them! They are mortal beings...The only question is whether we have time enough to do anything!
-Gratzman! -- Gratzman! Did you get those biotics?
-No. I thought you had them.
-I got a message for you. You're the guys from Pacific-Tech, ain't you?
-Right.
-It's about that meteor. They say it's a whopper. The District Officer phoned us at the lookout up on the summit. Thought you might be interested... It's ten or twelve miles from here - over by Linda Rosa.
-Are they sure it's a meteor? It didn't come down like one.
-That's right - came down in kinda spurts, didn't it? You fellers'll have to figure it out. You're scientists All I know - they say it's as big as a house and practically red hot.
-There's one - there's the other, and we're right between them!
-So is the town, I notice!
-I warned you Civil Defense people to be ready if you have to evacuate.
-Colonel - shooting's no good!
-It's always been a good persuader.
-General Mann -- I was told to expect you, sir. I'm Colonel Heffner.
-That's their position? You've certainly got them surrounded. I suppose they've neutralized all communications here.
-Not all. Radio is out. But our field phones are okay so far.
-We will, sir!
-My orders are not to go into action unless they make a move out of there.
-That's because we want a chance to observe them. This is the only place we've had time to surround them with sufficient force to contain them. What happens here will be a guide to all other operations. The minute action begins and a pattern of defense develops, I'll get my report to Washington. You've deployed your forces well.
-Thank you, sir. If they start anything, we can blast them right off the earth!
-That probably dropped half way to Pomona!...What do you think?
-Uncle Matthew...this is Dr. Clayton Forrester. My uncle - Dr. Matthew Collins, pastor of the Community Church.
-They don't do much of anything...!
-They are living creatures out there.
-But they're not human! Dr. Forrester says they're some kind of an advanced civilization --
-Let's go back inside, Uncle Matthew.
-Number three to. D.O....Number three to D.O.
-D.O. to number three..come in.
-We're getting this under control. Won't need any more help. Over.
-Okay. Send the tanker in, but you stand by until that thing cools off. Over.
-I think somebody ought to check on it. Over.
-Better'n a lion farm or a snake pit. We won't have to feed it!
-Must be somebody in there.
-Who? Where d'you think they come from!
-Maybe these are not men - not like us.
-What'll we say to 'em?
-They'll understand us, all right!
-I thought you'd killed Freddy off.
-We did. Bad mistake. The fans are clamoring for more. So, Evil never dies, right? Anyway, a while back we got a call from Wes. He's got this idea. And who better to resurrect Freddy than his creator?
-I thought he'd stopped doing horror.
-Which means he's having nightmares again?
-He's very excited about it.
-The nightmares.
-He's excited about the script. You should be too. It stars you.
-Can I read it?
-He's not showing it until it's down. But it sounds hot, and we wanted to get all our stars lined up in case it is. You and Robert got great ratings today. Which is the first thing we needed to know.
-You mean that was a...
-I don't know, Bob. I'm flattered and all, but I've got a kid, now.
-So?
-So I don't know about horror.
-Come on. Kids love horror.
-And I...I've got other things happening.
-Sweetie, you've got lots of fans, we've done market studies. You rate right up there. We've already got Chase working on a prototype for the glove.
-What?
-I know. We asked him to keep it kind of surprise until we talked. Look, how about we get in touch your agent. You still with Jerry?
-Yes, but...
-Bob, how long has Wes been working on this script?
-I don't know. A couple months. Why?
-And since you've been thinking of making it. Has anything funny happened?
-I don't follow.
-Might as well be, Dylan. State of the art animatronics enhanced with bio- organic grafting. Bull tendons, nerve bundles from a Doberman, even half the brain of a homicidal primate was...
-Just an earthquake, Dylan. Every once in a while we get a few.
-One of mom's cups got broken.
-Dylan, it's breakfast. Not arts and crafts What?
-You get any sleep last night?
-Anything other than the obvious bothering you?
-Five earthquakes in three weeks is enough.
-Maybe. Or maybe I shouldn't do this interview today.
-You've got to get back on the horse some time. Look, you've had a nutcase making harassing phone calls. I know how scary that feels.
-No, you don't.
-What if it isn't over?
-It was nothing. We were both working on some movie, and a special effects thing went horribly wrong. Terry and Chuck were...hurt. You were almost... You were even cut.
-You probably were half awake and saw me get nicked by that picture glass. Dreams work like that. You want me not to go on this job?
-Just be careful, okay?
-I should survive two days in Palmdale supplying soap bubbles for a detergent commercial, don't you think?
-Guess so.
-Heather?
-What's up?
-Chase, you'd better come home.
-Heather, I'm stuck here. Neither Chuck or Terry came in today. I can't get away!
-He's had some sort of...episode.
-What? What kind of episode?
-He was just acting very strange. He thinks somebody's after him, Chase. It's scary, it scared me. He was acting like...
-Like what?
-Like Freddy.
-Chase. Why didn't Chuck or Terry show up?
-Yes.
-I'll be there in three hours.
-Any history of epilepsy in your family?
-No.
-Diabetes?
-No.
-Was there any trigger event? A trauma, shock or... You haven't shown him any of the films you make, have you? The horror stuff?
-Does he have to stay here over night?
-Like what?
-Ms. Langenkamp. I'm afraid there are no evening visiting hours in Intensive Care.
-Is he all right?
-Dylan? He's holding well. Earlier he had some problems, he's in an oxygen tent just now...
-If these had been a few inches nearer to the wrist... What did you say you cut yourself on?
-It was an earthquake and it was dark. I have no idea.
-These look quite fresh.
-Doctor...
-Ms. Langenkamp. I suggest you go home and get some rest. Your son is fine. He's been taken downstairs for further testing.
-He was just here!
-He was here. You fell asleep. We took him. You looked so exhausted, frankly, we didn't wake you. Besides, the young woman, Julie, is with him. Believe me, everything is fine.
-DO you mind...
-I want my kid out of here now!
-Very well. As soon as we gather the appropriate papers...
-No way he's going anywhere. He's been well sedated.
-He doesn't have to be awake to be on his feet.
-What?
-no.
-You going away?
-Someone's coming.
-Dylan, I gotta go. Forgive me?
-Rex saved me.
-"...as soon as the sun was up the witch made Gretel fetch the wood and kindle a fire. 'We will bake cookies first,' she said. 'I have heated the oven and kneaded the dough. Crawl in and see if the fire is blazing high enough now.' And she pushed Gretel toward the oven. The witch meant to shut the door and bake her once
-Finish, please!
-This is going to give you nightmares.
-Time for sleep.
-Tomorrow night.
-"Then their father covered them with kisses and they were safe."
-Who?
-Okay, sweetie, night, night, sleep tight.
-He's on his way.
-He can follow the breadcrumbs, right?
-Mommy's fine, Dylan. Just had a bad dream. What're you doing out of bed?
-Dylan, you go back to sleep now.
-I can't sleep there, Mommy. Please!
-In my bed.
-Your bed?
-And...what's the man doing?
-Do you have to die to see God?
-Why does God let there be bad things?
-I honestly don't know. Try to sleep, baby.
-Home.
-You okay, champ?
-Can we go get Rex, now? The bad man's getting awful close.
-Tell you what. I'm gonna go get Rex for you right now. You know home isn't far from here, right?
-Right 'cross the freeway.
-Hurry back, please. I'm sleepy.
-You saw him, didn't you, Dylan!?
-Dylan, where's the man?
-What...what is that?
-Yes. It's a story. A story for a movie.
-You okay?
-I'm fine.
-Everything went great, I thought. We really got you, didn't we?
-In what, a romantic comedy?
-Heather? You doing okay?
-Holding my own. You know that guy who was calling me all the time? He's started again. He's been putting stuff in my mail.
-Must've read about the funeral. Sick mother. That's the last thing you need right now, I'm sure.
-Darker. More...evil?
-Yeah...how'd you know?
-Anyway, what I was calling about was...have you seen any of the script, by any chance?
-Wes won't show it until it's finished. That's what he told me, at least. I asked him at the funeral.
-When do you think it'll be done?
-What...happened?
-I know what he's doing is bizarre, but most of the time he seems so normal, so well adjusted. I just can't believe it's him. I mean, and not something outside, influencing him. Or is that how denial works?
-You're not crazy, by the way.
-Thinking I saw Freddy in the grave feels pretty crazy. And jumping in...
-You didn't jump in.
-That's my memory. And it seemed absolutely real.
-Seemed, not was.
-It's in my family, you know. My grandmother died in an institution...
-I've never mentioned it to him.
-Freddy, for all I know.
-A man, or a boy with a deep, y'know, Freddy voice.
-Six weeks of this, and you're surprised you've got Freddy in your dreams? Hell, Sonny Bono says after a while he was seeing his stalker everywhere. Even at Mass.
-Really?
-Absolutely. And how many times has Letterman called the cops thinking that woman was down in his kitchen again? It gets under your skin if you let it.
-John Saxon. Do you have any idea what time it is?
-John. It's Heather. I need help!
-You got it. What's happening?
-Dylan's run away from the hospital. I don't know whether he's wandering around or heading for the house. But I think Freddy's after him. I know it sounds crazy!
-You're right. That sounds crazy!
-Holy...
-I know how Chase really died.
-What are you talking about?
-Fred Krueger did it.
-Heather Langenkamp?
-Yes?
-Is Chase Porter your husband?
-Yes.
-I want to see the body.
-No, you don't, ma'am, it's not necessary.
-Studio B.
-Hi. This is Heather Langenkamp.
-The car's no there yet?
-No. I...listen, I can't make it in today.
-I'm sorry, I can't.
-Listen, dammit.
-Yeah, Julie, I'm sorry. I just thought...there was an earthquake, I think. Little one, but...
-Heather, what is it?
-I'll call the cops for you. You've got the number on the fridge, right?
-Thanks. Just give them the time he called. They're keeping a list, supposedly. Sorry. My nerves are so raw these days.
-No, Rex is not going to die. Julie, you know where the sewing stuff is, don't you?
-No, I don't think that at all. How is he?
-I can tell you what the nightmares are about. They're about this...entity. Whatever you want to call it. It's old, very old, and it's taken different forms in different times. The only thing that stays the same about it is what it lives for.
-What's that?
-This is still a script we're talking about, right?
-Then, in this nightmare in progress, does this thing have any weaknesses?
-It can be captured, sometimes.
-Captured? How?
-Like the Genie in the bottle.
-You saying Freddy's this ancient thing?
-If Freddy's loose, I mean, in your script, where's he going to go? Another age? Another form?
-That's not what the dreams say he's doing.
-Then what is he doing?
-Isn't there anyone that can stop him?
-Interestingly enough, in the dreams there is one person. A gatekeeper, so to speak. Someone Freddy's got to get by before he can enter our world. It's you, Heather.
-Me? Why me?
-Dramatically speaking it makes perfect sense. You played Nancy, after all, the first to humiliate and defeat him.
-That was Nancy, not me!
-Dylan. And... Chase. My God, Wes, did you know?
-Heather, it's just a movie, a dream, really...
-The way to stop him is to make another movie. And I swear to you I'll stay at my computer and keep writing until I finish the script. But when that time comes... You're gonna have to make a choice.
-Choice? What kind of choice?
-I don't know if it has, really. With the exception of One and Three, I've pretty much kept out of it. I'm working in television now. The hours let me spend more time with my husband and little boy.
-Now that you have a child, is it possible you've decided horror is bad for children?
-No, not really. I...
-Do you let your child watch your movies?
-Of course he is. Freddy's dead and gone.
-And how about your co-star in NIGHTMARE I. Would you trust him alone with your child?
-Robert? I...
-Yes?
-Heather, this is Sara Risher over at New Line. How are you?
-Oh, hi. I'm fine, Sara. My God, a voice from the past!
-Really! Listen, Heather, I won't take but a minute of your time. It's just that we have something to propose to you, and wonder if you'd stop by the offices. Bob'd love to talk to you.
-Uh...sure...when?
-No time like the present. The car will bring you.
-Now?
-Can I get you something to drink?
-Coffee'd be nice.
-Sounds good. Kim, would you get Heather and me a coffee? How you like it, Hon?
-Black's fine.
-Did we lose anybody?
-That low passed through last night. May be a little bumpy out there.
-Looks like weather.
-He would have loved this.
-Your father?
-All his years at sea, he never stopped talking about these islands.
-I'd have liked to have said goodbye.
-He knows.
-You sound so sure.
-What?
-Do you remember the last time you and I danced under the stars?
-Guilty.
-You may not like what you hear.
-I can take it.
-Why did we begin this?
-We were idealists.
-Because we believed we could make an impact out here. Self reliance and community through the disciplines of sailing.
-I haven't forgotten.
-Phil, he's not looking inside. He's just striking out at the world.
-He has a lot of hurt inside him.
-What are they doing?
-Oh I was walkin' down Lime street one day...
-Hey! Weigh! Blow the man down...
-A pretty young maiden she happened my way...
-So to all you sailors who've fought wind and whale...
-Weight! Hey! Blow the man down...
-She said "None the better, you all go to hell..."
-Everyone aboard young Bill?
-Yes, Sir.
-We'll bear off to port and run down wind.
-Raise the inner jib! Raise the forestaysail!
-Why wasn't I made aware of this Bill?
-I didn't know sir.
-Come in.
-Skipper, uh, the crew is pretty much doing group boot over the side.
-Well, that's all part of it.
-Everyone out of the rigging NOW!
-Carry on.
-Yes sir.
-Why didn't you drop any sail?
-Skipper called us out of the rigging.
-But your instinct was to lose sail?
-My instinct was to not get electrocuted.
-How old are you, son?
-Fifteen.
-Okay, here's the duty. Gieg, Weathers, Lapchick, Schucart: scrape and paint. Corry and Stricklin have the brass. Robinson, you're the Galley slave. March you're on chain gang with Barnes. Johnston, solo on bilge detail.
-Butler, what'd I ever do to you?
-It didn't go over 'til I turned her starboard!
-There's still a way.
-What do you mean?
-Make us proud.
-Where's Mom?
-I thought we'd find a store, get you fixed up and then get you some lunch. That sound good?
-Why don't you go and try some of that on?
-Fine.
-When we were growing up I always felt like you would take care of things, that everything would be okay. But you can't make this okay, can you?
-Albatross?
-Yeah.
-Rick March. Who the hell are you?
-Gieg, Chuck.
-Look, meet us out front when you're through. If they try to take anything away from you like Johnny Quest up there, just make a list and we'll have 'em send it down to the boat.
-What the "Bowsprit Affair"?
-She isn't that old.
-What do you mean?
-I walked in on my parents one time. It was only like eight o'clock and they were in bed and I thought that was kinda weird so I just walked in.
-That's what they get for not locking the door.
-Yeah.
-Where you going?
-Yeah, that's right. You wanna come in and shake it for me?
-If you're gonna cheat, you might as well copy off somebody who's gonna get the answer right.
-I cheated to get on the boat!!! All right?!
-I doctored my grades so I'd make the cut. I'm a moron, okay? You satisfied?!
-You're not a moron.
-They were gonna put me into special- ed this year. I stole a copy of my transcript, changed all the grades. Shit, who am I kidding. I'll never pass the boards.
-Bregitta. Do you believe it?
-Believe what?
-You okay?
-Ninety-six.
-Congratulations.
-It's a ninety-one! It's an 'A'!
-I know.
-You know? Then why are you up here looking like you're about to jump overboard?!
-I just can't believe it.
-I couldn't have done it without you.
-Feels different doesn't it?
-What?
-That we're going back. I don't want it to end. I don't want to be what I was when I left.
-What was that?
-I've been getting ninety-sixes my whole life. It's what they expect. After all this, I still haven't figured it out.
-Figured what out?
-Who I am, outside of this boat. What the hell I'm doing here.
-You know, I never had friends like this.
-Me either.
-You gonna jump? Or are you just having a last look?
-I was just thinking that I never had a new pair of shoes till I was twelve.
-It's no my fault I was born first. Besides, nobody ever sent me on an eight month vacation, so ease up on the sad sack stuff.
-It's not a vacation, it's private school.
-I thought this was your dream come true.
-That's not why he's sending me.
-Why then.
-I'm just not like you. Ya know? I'm never going to go to Yale. I'm never going to be "William".
-Nobody says you have to be like me.
-He does.
-Hey, shut up will ya?
-God damn it man. I think he broke my nose!
-Yeah, but how are you supposed to make the first move?
-Why'd you do it?
-What's the difference?
-You only hurt yourself you know?
-Can we talk?
-Everybody's saying this whole tribunal is happening because of your father. Because of you.
-Well that's just typical isn't it?
-Is it true Phil?
-I gotta go.
-You weren't there, you don't know what happened.
-Sorry to here it.
-Listen man, I think I have a problem.
-We all have problems.
-You taking the order wouldn't have changed anything.
-They don't know that. We were the only one's on deck. Look, there's nothing they can do to me right? I'm a kid.
-But that's not the point...
-Honey, did you know that the Albatross was captured by the Germans during World War II?
-No, I didn't.
-It says she was originally Schooner rigged, but Captain Sheldrake turned her into a brigantine. I think square rigs look so much more romantic.
-Do you have your ticket?
-Yes.
-Passport?
-Goodbye Mom. I'll be okay.
-What the hell is going on?
-Jesus.
-How ya doing?
-Fine.
-Good.
-Look, I appreciate, you know, the concern and all, but like he said, I can take care of myself.
-I feel like I got you into this.
-Forget it.
-I'm used to spending a lot of time alone. I guess that's what I thought it would be out here. But, it's not is it?
-I'm sorry I left you hanging up there.
-You think Skipper and Alice do it?
-Do what?
-Ya know... "It".
-No way!
-So... What happened?
-What'd you do?
-My parents don't do it anymore.
-How do you know? They might.
-Where are you from any way?
-Depths of hell... Ohio. How 'bout you?
-It was so real...
-Who told you that?
-My dad.
-It works?
-That's how he died you know.
-Who?
-My brother. He fell out of the old beech tree. Broke his neck. I was on a camp out. They started going at it, throwin' things, a real knock down... They didn't find him 'till the next morning. They didn't even know why he was up there.
-Jesus, you never told them?
-What are they doing?
-I can't go in there.
-Hold her steady into the wind. Southwest by west.
-Yes sir.
-Ah... Northeast... sir.
-Northeast sir!
-Yes, sir.
-You all right?
-Remember something, sooner or later... we all have to face it.
-Uh, huh.
-Would you, um, say it's a big storm?
-Shouldn't we turn away?
-What's on your mind?
-Well, spit it out.
-Can't do it.
-Sir...?
-Why do you think I'm sending him home?
-The Dolphin was a symptom.
-Of what?
-Of a fight he can't win out here.
-I mean he has all these expectations and he doesn't even know who his own kid is. What right did then have to show up here?
-They have every right Chuck.
-Does Phil know how you guys feel?
-I don't know.
-Chicken is a fool's game captain.
-So is violating international law.
-But you invited is aboard.
-Stow away?
-He left his passport in Curacao. It's being mailed to Panama.
-Why didn't you turn hard to port as the wind hit?
-But the Captain ordered you hard to starboard.
-Twice.
-Is that what you were trained to do?
-No.
-Then what do you think he was trying to do.
-So when the captain gave you an order contrary to your training, you thought he was making a mistake?
-Albatross? Doesn't inspire a lot of confidence.
-I'm Francis Boutillier. This is my son, Philip.
-Your cable said you wouldn't be putting out until mid-October.
-As you can see, there's a lot to do.
-Indentured servitude is not what my son had in mind.
-And I would have expected compensation for my time and expense coming all the way down here.
-I'll be frank with you. This was his mother's idea. A romp through the Caribbean on a sailboat sounds more like a vacation than an education if you ask me.
-It will be more than that, I can promise you.
-We'll do our best. You're welcome to say goodbye.
-Well, we thought we'd drop in and see if you were all still in one piece.
-And, of course, we are.
-What is it we can do for you today?
-What's wrong, you don't like steak?
-I should be eating with the crew.
-Humor me. Eat it anyway.
-Spying?!
-I can take care of myself.
-Oh, really?
-Listen to me, you thankless little prick. We're your parents, so don't you dare talk to me disrespectfully. What the hell is it, this captain? Because I'll see him in a rowboat...
-It has nothing to do with him.
-Well, what does it have to do with? Us?
-Who is it Philip?
-I think you were too hard on Weathers.
-You do?
-I need to know what I'm working with; what their boundaries are. Their lives depend on it, and for that matter so does yours. We've got to bring them together. Make them a crew. We're as strong as our weakest link and I don't want to find that out the hard way. So, I will challenge them and they will come together.
-Yes sir.
-What?! What's happening?!!
-You're officer of the watch, George.
-Son-of-a-bitch.
-I guess we know what the next acquisition for the galley is going to be...
-What's that?
-Immortality.
-Spirits have a way of bringing that out.
-And being sixteen.
-They're in a hurry to grow up. They don't know about consequences or responsibility. That's being sixteen too. I promise you one thing...
-What's that?
-Jesus. She's got guns.
-They think we're carrying Cuban refugees. Skipper, they mean to board us.
-Oh Jesus, oh Jesus. Man I knew we shouldn't have gone. I tried to tell you. I tried to tell you. You guys made me come! You made me come!!
-Yeah, well you're really gonna have some bad dreams if we find out you didn't.
-That's enough.
-How the hell are we gonna get outta here?
-We'll think of something.
-Hell, they even kicked me outa vo- tech 'cause I couldn't read a slide rule.
-Me, too.
-Jesus! What the hell happened to him.
-What's your problem?
-Why'd you jump?
-Because I felt like it. What do you care?
-I couldn't do it.
-Don't ever call me stupid.
-I'll read it. I mean I don't mind.
-If you've got "a broad" available I'll take her.
-How would you know?
-Trust me donut. I know.
-What? Come on...
-Damn, Porkchop, you sound just like a guy who ain't never seen a pair.
-They tell you that?
-It matters to me.
-Why, man?
-I don't.
-That's not a satisfactory answer.
-Much have I traveled in realms of gold/ And many goodly states and kingdoms seen/ Round many western islands have I been/ Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold/ Oft of one wide expanse had I been told/ That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne.
-This isn't just a story!! It's history made allegory. It is a philosophical handbook for life! It holds the secret of this very voyage.
-What?
-The rust won't wait for you to read Conrad, Goodall.
-Then he shouldn't have written such a long poem, Mr. Lawford.
-Well, that was neighborly.
-What's wrong Mr. Lawford.
-Tie it off!!
-What do you think?
-We've got a problem.
-What's that?
-Terry left his passport in Curacao. We could hide him...
-If he's a Cuban, Castro wears a dress.
-You gotta be kidding? He's a human chum line!
-They're waving... handkerchiefs or something.
-Fuck off man. It's just a fish.
-You're the one who doesn't care, Phil.
-It hurts too much to care.
-About yourself?
-How long you been standing there?
-What are we supposed to talk about?
-You've gotta be kidding?
-But, they don't speak English.
-Phil. What are you doing?
-Fandango, Junior. I'm gonna do some limbo baby!!
-No way Phil. Not like this.
-It's outta here!
-I don't know. We gotta get 'im outta here before Skipper sees him like this.
-You're a day late. We keep a schedule aboard ship. Lives depend on it. Hello, Philip.
-Suicidal...
-Do you have something to say?
-No.
-No, sir.
-Do me a favor and tell Bill once she's dogged down I want everyone to break out their slickers and make sure their gear is stowed or we'll spend the next week sorting underwear. Lawford, Bill, Mike, John, and Phil will stand the watch. Everyone else hit the racks.
-I have arranged to host a good will cruise for the Dutch students of the local school there.
-Joy, rapture...
-I'm not gonna kill it.
-Swing up, son.
-What?
-What's it going to be?
-I'm sorry...
-What are you blubbering about?
-Don't look down. Look in my eyes! Climb! We'll do it together.
-I can't.
-You climb damn it, or so help me I'll haul you to the foretop by your diaper and leave you there!
-Are you hating this?! Are you!
-I hate you, you son of a bitch!!!
-Is it true that you forced Robin Weathers to climb the mast when it was clear that he was acrophobic.
-He climbed when he was ready.
-Sir, were you aware at any time of the use of alcohol among the crew.
-No.
-What makes you so sure it was one?
-I can't be sure.
-You really felt that your crew were up for the conditions.
-We'd come twelve thousand miles together, through every kind of seas imaginable...
-Except, a "White Squall". With all due respect Captain Sheldrake, they're only boys...
-They are much more than that, sir.
-Is it true that the reason you expelled Philip Boutillier...
-For killing a dolphin.
-Yes, that's true.
-Do you think this is funny? Some kind of joke? You lost six people out there.
-Yes.
-There are allegations questioning your competence with regard to the command of the Albatross. I have been instructed to convene a formal tribunal to determine whether or not negligence played a part in the sinking.
-I understand.
-How'd you manage to piss off a guy as powerful as Francis Boutillier?
-It wasn't hard.
-I used to helm a school ship. A long time ago.
-The families... want your ticket. Turn it in, we forget the whole thing. Everybody goes home.
-... Absolutely not.
-The papers are going to eat you alive. Even if you beat it, you'll never get another commission. They want someone to be accountable.
-And you didn't do anything about it?
-If this young man had responded instantly to your command, do you believe the ship might have been spared?
-I don't know that anything could have prevented what happened.
-Soon as we ship it'll be "forgetta".
-Don't mind him, Chucky. You're talking to a guy whose idea of big romance is a palm full of Vaseline.
-Easy for you to say.
-What's that supposed to mean?!
-Everybody knows why she went over Tod. You jibed the boat.
-I was trying to get her up wind! That's what you do when you're hit a-beam. Or maybe you're too stupid to know that!
-Come in, Montgomery, Alabama.
-Artie? That you, Artie?
-Yes, ma'am. What's on your almost- perfect mind this evening?
-How ya feelin', Artie? I heard you wasn't doin' too well recent.
-I'm fine, thank you. I had a cardiac infarction but I'm on a new diet and exercising regularly. I've never felt better.
-Well, that's so good to hear, Artie. You know some of us depend on you down this way. You're so entertainin' and you get so many interestin' guests.
-I can dig this music... But not that singer.
-Why? He's right in the groove.
-He's so ugly. Guys with beards and beer guts ain't quite my type.
-Seein's how you're about as thick as a used string of unwaxed dental floss, don't know how you can criticize.
-Meetin' him at the gate. That phone call this afternoon was the signal. My deranged mama's hid the keys to my car. But of course, I know exactly where they are.
-I didn't hate me so much, I'd feel better wishin' you luck.
-Can't all husbands be perfect, and your Elmo prob'ly wouldn'ta ever got that second one pregnant, you hadn't kicked his ass out.
-So you're gonna be needin' the "blue- bird" pretty soon?
-Sorry, gentlemen. I'm 'most finished on my shoppin' here.
-This be it?
-Y'all take American Express?
-Yessir.
-I'd just soon have a paper bag rather than a plastic one, if it's same to you.
-What's Cao Ben?
-How old are you?
-Hey, pretty woman... Sailor here?
-No, he's out changin' the oil in the car.
-Man, I gotta take a piss bad... Can I use your head there?
-Well... Yeah - okay.
-Hey... You gotta smell in this room of puke... You been pukin' in here, little girl? Huh?... You sick?... Pregnant?
-You used the toilet, now you can go - what I do around here ain't any of your business, that's for sure.
-You know, I really do like a woman with tits like yours that talks tough and acts like she can fuck like a bunny... Can you fuck like that?... You like it like a bunny?... Huh?... Cause baby, I'll fuck you like a real good like a big ol' jack-rabbit bunny... Jump all around in that hole... Bobby Peru doesn't come up for air.
-Get out.
-Bobby Peru grab you now... Hold you tight... Feel everythin' in you now... Stay quiet... Say "fuck me" and then I'll leave.
-No way... GET OUT!!!
-Whisper it... Whisper "fuck me"... Whisper... Whisper... Whisper... Whisper...
-Fuck me.
-I'm from all over.
-Need a hand?
-How 'bout a beer?
-That'd be fine, Bobby.
-Let's go by Rosarita's. You been there yet?
-No, haven't heard of it.
-This your car?
-Hell, no, belongs to my girl's sister. The sister's been over to New Orleans, lets us have it while she's gone. Where's that pretty little lady of yours today?
-Restin' in our room. She ain't been feelin' well.
-Sorry to hear it.
-Thought you said this was a private club. How come I'm allowed in without bein' a member?
-You black?
-No.
-You an indian?
-No.
-Then you're a member... Three or four millionaires in here right now.
-They look like a bunch of good ol' boys to me. I guess it's oil money, huh?
-Oil, gas, cattle, farmin'. Ain't nobody shows off around here. Iguana County's one of the richest in Texas.
-Wouldn'ta guessed it, that's sure.
-Ready for another?
-I been studyin' a situation over in Lobo, take two men to handle it.
-What's that?
-No... I don't think so, man.
-Be easy, Sailor. There's two employees. I take one in the back to open the safe, you keep the other'n covered... You ain't plannin' on raisin' a fam'ly in Big Tuna, are ya?
-Whattaya mean family?
-Well... I mean like Lula bein' in a family way.
-Couple grand or more'd give you two a leg up. Get you to the west coast, Mexico, most anyplace, with a few dollars in your jeans. I got it figured good, Sailor.
-When did you talk to Lula?
-Talked to her this afternoon... While you was out.
-She really say she was pregnant?
-Just took a guess is all... You in or out on this deal?
-I ain't fuckin' sure, Bobby.
-Don't think about it too long. You had enough?
-Have now.
-How much money you have between the two a'ya right now?...
-Forty bucks...
-I don't particularly care for that kind of talk, Bobby.
-Hey... I never said you was a pussy... Always figured you had the big ol' round balls for this kind'a thing... Sure would set you and that pretty little girl up good.
-...But DAMN man... This better go smooth.
-What's she doin' here?
-She's my girl... She's drivin'... That bother you?
-Why should it?
-That's right... Take one of these.
-What is it?
-Nice of you to drop by.
-Told ya I would. You still riled?
-Ain't never had no girl pull a blade on me.
-Wish I'd fuckin' cut you up good.
-You heard from Reggie?
-The cobra's waitin' to strike, chica.
-That guy Sailor came around this afternoon... Asked me if there was a contract out on 'im.
-No shit?!?! You know him?
-Used to.
-What'd you say?
-That's right... Could have a bad accident, though... before... durin'... or after a hold-up...
-What's gonna happen when he sees me drivin' the car tomorrow?
-Gas?
-Mostly black though in that boogie place.
-What's the name of it?
-Club Zanzibar.
-You say it's straight ahead a mile?
-About. Where Lafitte crosses over Galvez Highway. State Road 86.
-Hey!!!... Johnnie Farragut. How are you, my man.
-Real good, Chet... It's been awhile.
-Everythin's relative. Where's that Marietta Pace Fortune? You two didn't split up, I hope.
-No... She's fine. Back home.
-What'll it be? The regular? Black Label?
-So who you out sleuthin' for now?... Can I help ya?
-Actually, I'm lookin' for Marietta's daughter, Lula. Her and 'er beau took off the other day. Marietta's real upset about it.
-Hell, that rings a bell. Someone told me somebody lookin' like her was at the Nothin' Fancy yesterday.
-Sounds right... I'll check it out.
-You hitched yet?
-No sir...
-It's none of my business, but when are you and Marietta gonna tie the knot? I always wondered why you never did.
-Not for lack of love, I can tell ya that.
-That's what I mean... Always looked like you was just knocked out in love... Was real nice to see.
-Alright... By all means. Make yourselves at home.
-No big buildings like in New Orleans.
-I thought you two were in Austin, Texas. Or Takes-us, as they say in these parts.
-So, it's back to the islands.
-But how are you finding New Orleans, Senor Farragut?
-Mr. San Pedro Sula is from Honduras.
-Oh, many things...
-Mr. San Pedro Sula's got an appliance shop.
-That is my permiso.
-Mr. San Pedro Sula's permit to kill.
-Mr. San Pedro Sula's authorized to carry a .45.
-He wants to take Mr. San Pedro Sula and me bass fishing.
-My name's George Kovich. Bet you've heard of me.
-Don't know that I have... Should I know about you for anythin' in particular?
-If your neighbors didn't mind, how'd you get put out of business?
-Woman drivin' down the street spotted me with on a roof with my rifle. She called the police and they came over and arrested me. Thought I was a sniper! Boys at the VFW loved that one. Cops didn't understand about the pigeons, the damage they do to personal property. I used to complain to the city but they never lifted a finger. I
-What happened on the charges?
-The Good Witch...
-Sailor... Lula loves you.
-But I'm a robber and a manslaughterer and I haven't had any parental guidance.
-She's forgiven you of all these things... You love her... Don't be afraid, Sailor.
-But I'm wild at heart.
-Are you going to provide me with an opportunity to prove my love to my girl? Or are you gonna save yourself some trouble and step up like a gentleman and apologize to her?
-Don't fuck with me, man. You look like a clown in that stupid jacket.
-This is a snakeskin jacket, and for me it's a symbol of my individuality and my belief in personal freedom.
-...Asshole.
-I'm sorry to do this to ya here in front of a crowd, but I want ya to stand up and make a nice apology to my girl.
-You are from New Orleans, Senor Farragut?
-Only that it's supposed to be a pretty poor sight since the hurricane came through last year.
-In what capacity?
-General Osvaldo Tamarindo y Ramirez. Telefono 666.
-Why are you in New Orleans? If you don't mind my askin'.
-The same to you. If you are in Honduras, come to the Bay Islands and visit us. The Hondurans are great friends of the American people. But I have a joke for you before I go. If a liberal, a socialist, and a communist all jumped off the roof of the Empire State Building at the same time, which one of them would hit
-Would you like to enjoy a martini with us?
-Why not? How was the fishin'?
-Teddy Roosevelt, one of the local shrimp boat captains is in jail now. These people are friends of mine, so I must return and find out what happened.
-This island of yours sounds like a kind of unpredictable place.
-Hasta siempre.
-Hasta siempre.
-Do you know how it came about that copper wire was invented in Scotland?
-Gotta admit, you guys are - two in four dozen.
-I forgot to show you this. The gentlemen that gave this to me said you'd recognize it. Said he wanted it'd be 'bout the last thing you ever saw in this life.
-I knew this would happen. Soon as that piece of filth got out of Pee Dee, I knew there'd be trouble. He's just got some kind of influence over her I can't decipher. There's somethin' wild in Lula I don't know where it comes from. You gotta find 'em, Johnnie.
-He served his time for what he did. Another thing... If Lula went with him of her own volition - willingly, that is - there ain't much can be done about it.
-I'll hire a hit man if you don't want to help me stop this thing. I'll call Marcello Santos.
-Now, Marietta, I am goin' to help you. And don't be gettin' carried away. You don't want to be bringin' Santos and his people into it.
-You're just jealous of Santos cause he's sweet on me.
-Darlin', you ain't seein' Santos again, are ya?
-Oh, Johnnie Farragut... Don't you trust your very own Marietta?
-Sorry, sweetheart. Bein' in love with you like I am brings out that ugly jealous side.
-Well stop worryin' about me and start worryin' about how you're gonna get that Lula back here and away from that murderer.
-Maybe I was there, but I didn't see anythin'. All I know's that trash killed a man with his bare hands. Hands which are now prob'ly all over my baby!
-No, Marietta, I haven't found 'em.
-Really, Marietta, you got more scenarios swimmin' around in your brain than Carter got pills. Try to take it easy. Go over to Myrtle Beach for a few days.
-I'm stayin' right here by the phone until you find Lula, then I'm comin' to get her. You call soon's you got somethin', even if it's three in the a.m.
-I got some news, Marietta. Lula and Sailor been here. They checked out of the Hotel Brazil on Frechman Street yesterday.
-Listen, Johnnie, Lula just called me. She knew you were in N.O., so they left the city.
-Did she tell you where she was callin' from?
-No, but my guess is they're headed west, so prob'ly Texas. Their money must be runnin' low. I don't think Sailor had much to begin with, if any, and Lula took the six hundred she had saved in the Cherokee Thrift.
-How'd she sound? Was she doin' okay?
-Could she be doin' okay, Johnnie? She's tryin' to prove somethin' to me, that's all. Lula ain't doin' no more'n showin' off, defyin' me... Johnnie, I've done somethin' bad...
-What?
-I won't tell you over the phone. I'm comin' to N.O. and I'll tell you then.
-Marietta, I was just gonna leave and see if I could pick up their trail.
-No, you wait right there for me... I'll be on the Piedmont flight tomorrow at seven. Meet me at the airport.
-I'll meet you, Marietta, if that's what you want, but I'm against it.
-Who was that?... Who know's your here?
-What is it, Johnnie?
-Johnnie, I can't tell you, honey. Is there anyway we can get on the road tonight? We've got to find them kids.
-Somethin' was upsettin' you bad last night, and you wanted to tell me and I figured you wanted to tell me so's I could help...
-I did, honey, but that was last night... Let's just find those two kids before it's too late.
-Honey, I have to ask you this... Is Santos involved in any of this?
-Hell no, baby... I wouldn'ta done that without tellin' you.
-That bastard Pucinski...
-Who?... Uncle Pooch?...
-Yeah... The one that introduced Santos to you and Clyde.
-Johnnie... That's the past... We gotta get on to our future, sugar!
-All I have to do is grab my suitcase, and I'm ready. You're lucky cause I happen to love night drivin'.
-Let's head for Texas and see if we can pick up the trail.
-Did I tell ya it's great to see ya again?
-I'll pack my things and meet you downstairs.
-And to think what coulda happened in that king-sized bed tonight...
-You won't of missed much.
-Don't give me no trouble now, Pace, please. This ain't the easiest day in a long time. And what do you mean how are we gonna know what your daddy looks like? You seen his photo.
-Damn it, child! Now look what you made me do.
-Nothin', honey. Mama's just actin' strange.
-You ain't actin', mama.
-I still ain't sure what my daddy looks like.
-Like you, sweetheart. You and your daddy got the same mouth, eyes, ears, and nose. Only difference is your color hair is like mine.
-My daddy ain't never killed nobody, has he, mama?
-Course he ain't never killed nobody. Why'd you say that, Pace?
-Heard grandpa Santos and grandmama talkin'.
-And?
-Grandmama said how Sailor murdered a man.
-Why we sittin' here, mama?
-I'm scared, mama.
-Why, honey?
-Case daddy don't like me. What if he don't like that I don't got his color hair.
-Hey baby...
-Hey, my snakeskin jacket... Thanks, baby... Did I ever tell you that this here jacket for me is a symbol of my individuality and my belief in personal freedom?
-'Bout fifty thousand times. I got us a room at the Cape Fear, and guess what?... I hear Powermad's at "The Hurricane."
-Did you ever think somethin' like about the wicked witch of the east comin' flyin' in?... Did you ever think somethin' and then later think you've said it out loud to someone?
-I really did miss your mind while I was out at Pee Dee, honey. The rest of you, too, of course. But the way your head works is God's own private mystery. What was it you was thinkin'?
-Well, I was thinkin' about smokin' actually... My mama smokes Marlboros now, used to be she smoked Kools? I stole 'em from her beginnin' in about sixth grade. When I got old enough to buy my own, I bought those. Now I've just about settled on Mores, as you probably noticed? They're longer.
-I guess I started smokin' when I was about six... My mama was already dead from lung cancer...
-What brand'd she smoke?
-Camels, same as me... Guess both my mama and my daddy died of smoke or alcohol related illness.
-Gee, Sailor. I'm sorry, honey. I never would have guessed it.
-It's okay. I hardly used to see them anyway. I didn't have much parental guiding. The public defender kept sayin' that at my parole hearin'. He was a good ol' boy, stood by me... Even brought me some cartons of cigarettes from time to time.
-I'd stand by you, Sailor... through anything.
-You're perfect for me, too.
-You remind me of my daddy, you know? Mama told me he liked skinny women whose breasts were just a bit too big for their bodies. He had a long nose, too, like theirs. Did I ever tell you how he died?
-In a fire, as I recall.
-You have such a pretty, long neck, like a swan.
-Sailor, you are somethin' else, honey... When I was fifteen, Mama told me that pretty soon I'd be startin' to think about sex, and I should talk to her before I did anything about it.
-But honey, I thought you told me your Uncle Pooch raped you when you was thirteen.
-That's true. Uncle Pooch wasn't really an uncle. He was a business partner of my daddy's? And my mama never knew nothin' about me and him - that's for damn sure. His real name was somethin' kind of European, like Pucinski. But everyone just called him Pooch. He came around the house sometimes when Daddy was away. I always figured he was sweet on
-You're terrible crude sometimes, Sailor, you know?
-I said you can be too crude sometimes? I don't think I care for it.
-Sorry, sugar. Go on and tell me how old Pooch done the deed.
-Uncle Pooch came in the side door through the porch, you know? Where I was makin' a jelly and banana sandwich? I remember I had my hair in curlers cause I was goin' that night with Vicki and Cherry Ann, the DeSoto sisters. Uncle Pooch must have known nobody but me was home, cause he came right in and put both his hands on
-So how'd he finally nail you? Right there in the kitchen?
-He was short but powerful. With hairy arms? Anyway, he carried me into the maid's dayroom which nobody used. We did it there on an old bed.
-'We' did it? Whattaya mean? Didn't he force you?
-Well, sure. But he was super-gentle, you know? I mean, he raped me and all, but I guess there's all different kinds of rapes. I didn't exactly want him to do it but I suppose once it started, it didn't seem all that terrible. It was over pretty quick, and after Uncle Pooch just stood there and pulled up his trousers and left me
-And you never told nobody about it?
-Just you. Uncle Pooch never acted strange or different after. And he never did anything else to me. I always got a nice present from him at Christmas, like a coat or jewelry?
-One hundred twenty decibels - head on collision of a '54 Ford Pick-Up and a '64 Chevy Station Wagon. No survivors. Balls of flame and grinding metal.
-Uncle Pooch died in a car crash three years later while he was holidayin' in Myrtle Beach. They still got way too much traffic there for my taste... And another thing, baby... That government of ours should be keepin' us separated from outer space...
-Here she goes again...
-You okay, honey?
-That woman's laugh creeps me out. I heard somethin' like that... somewhere before... Sound'd like the wicked witch...
-Just sounded like an old gal havin' a good time to me... You ready to dance?
-Hell, you just rubbed up against the wrong girl is all.
-What you want to watch this trash for? Ain't one of those people have a real thought in their brain.
-That so? You want to tell me what, if any, real thoughts you had lately?
-What's that honey?
-I'm sorry, sweetie. I forget some moments where all you been the last two years.
-Twenty-three months, eighteen days is all. Don't need to make more'n it was. This couple's goin' on a date to Hawaii. The girl chose him over the other two guys.
-Don't the reject guys get anythin'?
-Gift certificates to Kentucky Fried Chicken.
-That don't seem fair.
-Sailor?
-Yeah?
-Wouldn't it be fabulous if we somehow stayed in love for the rest of our lives?
-You think of the weirdest damn things to say sometimes, peanut. Ain't we been doin' a pretty fair job this far?
-Oh, you know exactly what I mean, honey? It'd make the future so simple and nice.
-At Pee Dee, all you think about is the future, you know? Gettin' out? And what you'll do and what you'll think about when you're on the outside again.
-I just think about things as they come up. I never been much of a planner.
-Musta been a lesson tellin' ya it was the wrong time... What did you do, your mama find out?
-...I hope you appreciate my spendin' six hundred dollars, not countin' what it cost us to get here and back... This man's the best damn abortionist in the South.
-You tell the boy who knocked you up?
-It was my cousin, Dell, done it? His folks used to visit with us summers.
-What happened to him?
-Oh, nothin'. I never let on to mama about Dell bein' the one. I just flat refused to tell her who the daddy was? I didn't tell Dell, neither. He was back home in Chattanooga by then, anyhow, and I didn't see the point. Somethin' terrible happened to him, though. Six months ago.
-What's that, peanut?
-Actin' funny how?
-One time, Aunt Rootie caught Dell puttin' one big cockroach on his anus?
-Hell, peanut...
-...are followin' him around.
-Prob'ly the rain boys from Outer Space.
-The private eye cost Aunt Rootie over a thousand dollars? Then a little while later Dell ran off a third time to some place he said would "give him peace of mind." Nobody's seen him since.
-Sound like ol' Dell's more'n just a little confused, peanut... Too bad he couldn't visit that ol' Wizard of Oz and get some good advice.
-Too bad we all can't, baby... One thing about Dell?
-What's that?
-When he was about seventeen, he startin' losin' his hair.
-So?
-He's twenty-four now? A year older than you? And must be 'bout bald.
-There's worse things that can happen to a man, honey.
-Let's go dancin', peanut. I'm ready.
-We gotta be careful, honey, my mama's gonna have Johnnie Farragut on us like a duck on a june bug, and he's one clever detective? You know how clever? He once told me that he could find an honest man in Washington. My toenails gotta dry first anyways, Sailor.
-One thing puzzles my mind, sugar... You're twenty years old - aren't you ever curious why your mama has this fixation on keepin' us apart? Puttin' a detective on us. I'll tell ya Lula... Well... It's more'n me killin' Bob Ray Lemon...
-Maybe my mama cares for me just a little too much...
-Sailor!
-You up for that?
-I'd got to the far end of the world for you, baby... You know I would.
-...That's an awful long way to go, just to get some pussy.
-Yeah, I had my first taste on that trip to Juarez. At that age you still got a lot of energy.
-Sorry, baby... When's the first time you done it with a girl who wasn't hookin'?
-She looked right at me and run her tongue over her lips and put her hand on my arm - told me her name was Irma.
-What'd you say to her?
-When she got almost to the top step I stuck my hand between her legs from behind.
-Oh, baby. What a bad boy you are!
-That's just what she said. I had a boner with a capital "O." I went to kiss her but she broke off laughin' and ran down the hallway. I found her lyin' on a bed in a room filled with assault weapons and Penthouse magazines. She was a wild chick. She was wearin' bright orange pants with kind of Spanish lookin' lacy black stripes
-You mean like pedal pushers?
-She just rolled over onto her stomach and stuck her ass up in the air. I slid my hand between her legs and she closed her thighs on it.
-You're excitin' me, honey. What'd she do?
-Her face was half-pushed into the pillow, and she looked back over her shoulder at me and said, 'I won't suck you. Don't ask me to suck you.'
-Poor baby. She don't know what she missed. What color hair she have?
-I'll drop mama a postcard from somewhere. I mean, I don't want her to worry no more'n necessary.
-What do you mean by necessary? She's prob'ly already called the cops, my parole officer, her p.i. boyfriend Johnnie Farragut.
-I suppose so. She knew I was bound to see you soon as you was sprung, but I don't figure she counted on us takin' off together like this... I guess this means you're breakin' parole, then?
-You guess? My parole was broke two hundred miles back when we burnt Portagee County.
-What'll it be like in California, Sailor, do you think? I hear it don't rain much there.
-You got about six more big states to go before we find out.
-That don't smell like a More.
-It ain't. It's part of the lessons of life. I picked me up a pack of Vantages before we left the Cape?
-They sure do stink.
-Yeah, I guess, but - and here's the lesson part - they ain't supposed to be so bad for you.
-You ain't gonna begin worryin' about what's bad for you at this hour, are you, sugar? I mean, here you are crossin' state lines with a A-Number One certified murderer.
-Manslaughterer, honey, not murderer. Don't exaggerate.
-Okay, manslaughterer who's broke his parole and got in mind nothin' but immoral purposes far's you're concerned.
-Life is a bitch and then you marry one.
-What kinda trash talk is that?
-What it says on the bumper sticker up front. On that pickup.
-That's disgustin'. Those kinda sentiments shouldn't be allowed out in public. Is this Biloxi yet?
-Almost. I figure we should find us a place to stay and then go eat.
-Got anyplace special in mind?
-How about that one? The Host of the Old South Hotel.
-I H-A-T-E hotel bedspreads. They don't hardly never get washed, and I don't like the idea of lyin' on other people's dirt.
-Come look at this.
-What's that, honey?
-There ain't no water in the swimmin' pool. Just a dead tree fell in, prob'ly from bein' struck by lightnin'.
-It's huge. This musta been a grand old place at one time.
-M-i-ss-i-ss-i-pp-i... You can almost hear that jazz blowin' up from the big N.O.
-Lula... I learned somethin' interestin' today on a science show I heard on the radio... How leeches is comin' back into style.
-Got you a pack of Mores again, huh?
-Yeah, it's a real problem for me, Sailor, you know? When I went in that drugstore by the restaurant in Biloxi? I saw 'em by the register and the girl throw 'em in. I'm not big on resistin'. So what about a leech?
-Heard on the radio how doctors is usin' leeches again, just in old times. You know, when even barbers used 'em?
-Yeah, well listen to this... Radio said back in the 1920s a I-talian doctor figured out that if, say, a fella got his nose cut off or bit off in, say, a barfight or somethin', they'd sew one of his forearms to his nose for a few weeks... Then put leeches on it.
-Sailor? You expect me to believe a man'd be goin' around with a arm sewed to his nose?
-Sailor Ripley! You stop! You're makin' this shit up and I ain't gonna sit for it!
-Honest, Lula. I prob'ly ain't precisely got all the facts straight, but it's about what they said.
-We're about dry bones, sweetheart. We don't wanna have to push this "bird" into New Orleans.
-I love it when your eyes get wild, honey. They light up all blue almost and little white parachutes pop out of 'em. Oh, Sailor you're so aware of what goes on with me? I mean, you pay attention. And I swear, you got the sweetest cock. Sometimes it's like it's talkin' to me when you're inside? Like it's got a voice all it's
-What lesson do get outta that story, Lula?
-It's just another case, Sailor.
-What's that, peanut?
-Huh?
-Ever imagine what it'd be like to get eaten alive by a wild beast? Sometimes I think it would be the biggest thrill?
-My God, it better be, darlin', cause it'd be the last... What time is it?
-Lula, sometimes I gotta admit, you come up with some weird thoughts...
-Anythin' interestin' in the world come out of somebody's weird thoughts, Sailor. You tell me Sailor, who could come up with shit like we're seein' these days?
-You got me, peanut.
-You certain?
-I ain't never met anyone come close to you, sugar.
-Recall the time we was sittin' one night behind the Confederate soldier? Leanin' against it. And you took your hand and put it on your heart and you said, 'You feel it beatin' in there, Lula?... Get used to it, 'cause it belongs to you now.' D'you recall that?
-I do.
-I really do think it's the best night of my life.
-We didn't do nothin' special I can remember. Just talked, is all.
-Talkin's good. Long as you got the other? I'm a big believer in talkin', case you ain't noticed.
-Too bad they don't give an award for talkin'... You'd win first prize. Especially with those tits.
-You think so, baby? Does my talkin' bother you, honey?
-No, I like gettin' up around four a.m. and talkin' bout wild animals... Though you woke me up this time in the middle of a dream. I kinda wish I didn't remember it. Up at Pee Dee, I couldn't remember any of my dreams.
-What was this one?
-The water was rollin' off me. And I was dirty, too, like I hadn't had no bath in a long time, so the sweat was black almost.
-Boy, sweetie, this is weird, okay.
-I know. I kept walkin', I headed for your house, only it wasn't your house, really. You let me in only you weren't real pleased to see me. You kept askin', 'Why'd you come to see me now? Why now?' Like it'd been a long time since we'd seen each other.
-Oh, baby, what an idea. I'd always be happy to see you, no matter what.
-Sometimes dreams just don't mean nothin'... Stuff comes into your mind and you don't have no control over, you know? Anyways, dreams ain't no odder than real life. Sometimes not by half.
-Let's get outta here... I suddenly got a funny feelin' about this place. Feelin' all that voodoo...
-Gotta hex from a voodoo?
-Who do?
-Oh my God... It's Johnnie... Duck down!... Get goin'!
-Where?
-Never mind where... Get outta here... I mean it, Sailor.
-You think he saw us?
-Who knows, baby?
-He was sittin' there havin' a beignet at the Cafe Du Monde. Do you think he saw us?
-Sure you wanna do this? Might be a way they could track us.
-You don't feel you was a little hard on the guy, honey?
-I know you're thinkin' that I got more'n some of my mama in me? Well, I couldn't help it. Sailor, I really couldn't. I'm sorry for that guy, but when he pulled that drippin' hunk of awful-smellin' meat out of his pocket? I near barfed. And them poor diseased puppies!
-Just part of life on the road, peanut.
-I wouldn't mind a little night life. How about you?
-Hard to tell what's shakin' in a place like this, honey. You don't want to be walkin' in the wrong door.
-You ready for this?
-I'll be damned if I'm leavin'. That band is too good?
-Uh huh.
-You notice that woman when we come in? The white woman sittin' by herself?
-Yeah.
-Well, she ain't talked to nobody and ain't nobody spoke to her that I could tell. What you make of that?
-Honey, we bein' strangers here and all, this is the kinda place we don't want to make nothin' of nothin'.
-What's wrong, sweetheart? Somethin' botherin' you?
-Mama. I been thinkin' about her. She's prob'ly worried to death by now.
-More'n likely.
-I want to call her and tell her I'm okay. That we're okay.
-I ain't so sure it's a great idea, but that's up to you. Just don't tell her where we are.
-I was just wastin' time, peanut, till you come back.
-It's me who's wastin' time, Sailor, bein' with you.
-Honey, I'm sorry. It wasn't nothin'. Come on and get up and we'll take off.
-Leave me be for a minute? Mama gets all insane and then I see you practicin' your individuality and personal freedom with some oil-town tramp. How you figure I'm gonna feel?
-How much we got left, honey?
-Under a hundred.
-You want to stick around here, Sailor? See if we can get some work?
-Not in Houston. We'd be better off in some place more out of the way.
-You want me to drive for a stretch? Give you a chance to rest.
-What's that, peanut?
-The world's gettin' worse, I think, Sailor. And it don't sound like there's much we can do about it, neither.
-Sure is a big deal round here... Alamo Road, Alamo Street, Alamo Square, Alamo Buildin', Alamo Alamo. They ain't forgettin' about it in a hurry. That's the thing 'bout memory? Some things you wish you could forget... What's troublin' you, sugar?
-You know, Lula, I never told you what all I was doin' before I met you.
-I just figured you was out bein' Mr. Cool...
-Not exactly, sugar... One reason we're in all the trouble we're in right now is cause of what I was doin'... I tried to tell you this before...
-You're scarin' me, baby.
-Well, there's a good side as well as a bad side to it... The good side is I knew your daddy, and I thought Clyde was a good ol' guy...
-You knew my daddy?
-Yes I did... I sure did... The bad side of it is I did some drivin' for a man named Marcello Santos...
-Oh shit...
-I quit workin' for 'im, but just before I did, I ended up one night at a house... I don't know what it is they all think I saw that night, but I was just sittin' out in the car till the whole place went up in flames.
-God, Sailor... That's the night my daddy died.
-I know, sugar... But while the place was burnin'... Before Santos came out - I pitched some rocks at the second floor windows case anyone was upstairs sleepin'... Afterwards... When I met you, I always liked to think I mighta saved your life.
-That's some big secret you been carryin', Sailor.
-We all got a secret side, baby. Hope you don't think I been lyin' to you 'bout other things, sugar.
-How'd you know my daddy?
-Lula, you there?
-Yeah, I'm here.
-You upset with me?
-That night in the fire while my daddy was dyin'... I saw mama up in her room with Santos...
-...They was laughin' arm in arm like animals.
-I didn't want to say it... but I had a feelin' Santos was up to somethin' with your mama...
-My mama... So Sailor, our histories have been somewhat intertwined.
-They have, sugar.
-I take that as a sign that we were destined by fate to be together.
-It's a comfortin' idea.
-Well, we're really out in the middle of it now, ain't we?
-There's worse places, honey.
-If you say so.
-Trust me on it.
-I do trust you, Sailor. Like I ain't never trusted nobody before.
-We'll be alright, peanut, long as we've got room to move.
-What's that?
-Oh God, Sailor.
-One bad car accident...
-Sailor, what are we gonna do?
-Let's get ahold a' her quick.
-You think she's gonna make it?
-I can't take this, Sailor. She's dyin' right in front of our eyes...
-She died right in front of me. Why'd she have to go and do that, Sailor?
-Well, it ain't exactly Emerald City...
-Not bad for eleven dollars a day.
-And no AC.
-Fan works.
-Now what?
-Let's get a sandwich and find out about some work.
-Sailor?
-Yeah?
-I'm gonna stay here in this room, Sailor. I don't feel so good? This heat makes me tired.
-That you, Sail, honey?
-You find any work?
-Maybe. Met a guy named Red, owns a garage, could have some work in about a week. Met a few hard luck boys who's stayin' here. What's that smell?
-I barfed. Tried to make it to the bathroom... Turned out it was the wrong door anyways... I sorta got it cleaned up.
-You sick?
-A little, I think... Darlin'?
-Yeah?
-Darlin', I still ain't feelin' so well. I'm goin' to bed.
-Anything I can do for you?
-Sailor? You know what?
-I know you ain't particularly pleased bein' here.
-It's okay by me, peanut.
-Really, Sailor, it ain't nothin' against you. I love you.
-Love you, too.
-I know. Just I'm sorta uncomfortable about the way some things is goin', and this don't help soothe me.
-You been drinkin', huh?
-Can't tell yet. Where'd you go?
-That smell's still fillin' this room good.
-Buddy and Sparky come by earlier.
-And Bobby too, I hear...
-Yeah... He was lookin' for you.
-You talk to 'im some?...
-Some... Sparky said Red's promised to have him and Buddy out of here by the weekend.
-Oughta make 'em happy.
-So where'd you say you was?
-Sail?
-Uh-huh?
-Let's leave here.
-We're goin' to, Lula, real soon.
-I mean tomorrow.
-We got about forty bucks, sweetheart. That'd get us to El Paso.
-Who says I'm smart? You up to somethin' with Bobby Peru, Sailor?
-What could I be up to, Lula?
-He's a stone fuckin' criminal, honey, and you ain't.
-I killed Bob Ray Lemon, didn't I?
-That was a accident. I bet both our asses Bobby Peru done murdered all kinds of people, and meant it, too.
-That was in Vietnam.
-He's the kind liked it.
-Lula, I got to get some sleep.
-Buddy told me about that thing at Cao Ben?
-What?
-Was a massacre. Soldiers there murdered old folks, women and babies, and dumped 'em in a trench. Bobby Peru prob'ly killed the most.
-That man's a black angel, Sailor. You hook up with him, you'll regret it. If you live to.
-You must be my son.
-You hungry? Pace and I ain't had dinner yet.
-I'm sorry, Sailor. I just can't help it. Give me a minute and I'll quit.
-Boys frightened, Lula. This ain't no good.
-Really, Sail, I'll be okay.
-It's a mistake, honey. You two go on. I'll walk back to the depot.
-What're you talkin' about? That's your son in there.
-He ain't never known me, Lula, so there ain't much for him to forget. Not seein' each other for six years makes it next best to simple for us, too.
-How can you say that, Sailor?
-LULA!!!!
-...live in exchange for sexual favors. Police said they have identified and questioned at least four girls, all Asians twelve to fifteen years old, who have been living in the North Houston warehouse with a Vietnamese pimp since February. The girls are being treated as victims, said police Sergeant Amos Milburn. 'These are really just children,' he said, 'but they've been exposed to a
-I'll bet.
-The reptiles were supposed to be of a docile species, said a senior government official, but it seems the breeders bungled and reared attack crocodiles.
-Damn!
-In the Ganges near Varanasi to try and reduce human pollution and now plan to put in the crocodiles to devour floatin' corpses dumped by Hindus too poor to pay for cremation.
-Mama???
-You know who it was and you know you aren't, and I mean ARE NOT gonna see him EVER... End of story.
-I'm fine, mama. I just wanted to tell you not to worry.
-Why, how could I not worry? Not knowin' what's happenin' to you or where you are? Are you with that boy?
-If you mean Sailor, mama, yes I am.
-Are you comin' back here soon, Lula? I need you here.
-Need me for what, mama? I'm perfectly fine, and safe, too.
-You in a dance hall or somethin'? I can hear music behind you.
-Just a place.
-Really, Lula, this ain't right!
-Right?! Mama, was it right for you to sic Johnnie Farragut on us? How could you do that?
-Did you run into Johnnie in New Orleans? Lula, are you in New Orleans?
-No, mama, I'm in Mexico, and we're about to get on an airplane to Argentina!
-Argentina! Lula, you're outta your mind. Now you just tell me where you are and I'll come for you. I won't say nothin' to the police about Sailor, I promise. He can do what he wants, I don't care.
-Mama, I'm hangin' up this phone now.
-No, baby, don't! Can I send you somethin'? You runnin' low on money? I'll wire you some money if you tell me where you are.
-Lula? I love you, baby. I just want you to be all right.
-I am all right, mama. That's why I called, to let you know. I gotta go.
-Call me again soon? I'll be waitin' by the phone.
-You're comin' home, precious. Santos' gonna drive us to the San Antonio airport.
-I'm goin', mama. No way I can't go.
-You ain't takin' Pace, though.
-Course I am, mama.
-What time's Sailor's train get in?
-Six.
-Got any plans?
-Figure we'll go have supper someplace. Maybe get some barbecue out by Stateline. Sailor always liked that Havana Brown's Pig Pickin'.
-Well, you be careful with that boy, Lula.
-Sailor ain't a boy no more, mama.
-Don't mean him. It's Pace concerns me.
-Really, mama, I gotta go.
-What if I asked you not to?
-Wouldn't make any difference.
-What if I told you not to?
-I'm afraid his car is gone, Mrs. Fortune.
-I don't understand this... I don't understand this one bit. He was supposed to meet me right her in this lobby. Somethin' bad has happened - I jus know it.
-Perhaps we should call a local law enforcement officer.
-Oh God! What does that mean?
-I'm sure I wouldn't know, ma'am... and buffalo hunting too... hmmmmm?
-I knew you'd want it again...
-That's not why I called.
-Oh yeah - sure... okay.
-Santos... It isn't.
-Have it your way... But you want it.
-Lula's gone off with Sailor.
-What do you want me to do about it?
-I want you to take care of Sailor, so he won't ever be able to bother my baby again.
-Take care of him?
-Yes.
-What does take care of him mean? Do you want me to give him food or some clothing?
-What's with you? You know what take care of him means. I don't call Santos except for one big reason.
-Big is the key word, and I'm telling you I want it bad.
-I want you to get rid of Sailor.
-Get rid of him?
-Yes... Get rid of him.
-How would I do that? Send him on a trip - like maybe to Hawaii?
-Santos, why in hell do you insist on playin' this stupid game?
-Just tell me what you want.
-I don't need to explain anymore'n I have... You know damn well.
-You need to explain it.
-All right... I want you... to... kill... Sailor... As simple as that.
-Simple? Kill him? How?
-That's your business... I don't care how.
-Like an accident where maybe Lula might also get hurt?
-NO... For God's sakes, Santos!
-Well, like kill him with the atomic bomb?
-Santos...
-Explain it... I told you.
-Shoot him.
-Shoot him? Like with a gun?
-Yes.
-Where? In the leg?
-No.
-Where?
-In the head.
-Shoot Sailor in the head with a gun... Now I'm beginning to get it... You want me to shoot Sailor in the head with a gun.
-Yes.
-But where in the head? Not the chin, I hope.
-No... In the brains... What little I'm sure he has.
-You want me to shoot Sailor in the brains with a gun.
-Yes.
-Through the forehead?
-Yes.
-Wrong! It's much better to blow a hole in the back of the head... right toward the bridge of the nose... Lots and lots of irreparable damage.
-See! I knew you had it all under control.
-Why didn't you send Johnnie Farragut?
-Maybe I did... Try New Orleans first... Lula can't ever stop talkin' 'bout that town.
-You give me your permission to kill Johnnie Farragut.
-Santos... No... Please, Santos...
-You're not tellin' me that you're sweet on him?
-No... But...
-I'm gonna take your silence as a "yes"...
-Santos... I can't...
-Shhhh... It's all right... Also, I either take you or that pretty daughter of yours to bed.
-You fucker, don't you ever touch Lula - You fucker, I'll kill you.
-Put your shoulders back.
-What?
-You got nice tits.
-Someone's gonna see us.
-That's just another part of the price to pay.
-I got your message... But you went right to Johnnie, didn't you?... I can't trust you, bitch - not for one minute... Naughty girl... Sailor and Lula are headed west, and guess what? There's no turning back. I'm in a killing mood.
-No...
-Santos... Where's J-J-Johnnie?
-Santos... What's happenin' here?
-Hey... Stop the nervous cry-baby routine... You're my girl now... Santos is gonna wipe away those tears and make you happy... Come on, let's get outta here.
-Where we goin'?
-Got word the kids are moving through Texas... I think an ending is being arranged there... Come on, lemme see a smile.
-...Sailor Ripley... Can I talk to Lula?
-There's no way in hell you can speak to her and...
-What?...
-Hey, Sailor boy, you wanna fuck Lula's mama?...
-No.
-No... I just wanted to kiss you good- bye... You know too much 'bout little Lula's mom...
-Whattya mean?
-Well, Johnnie told me you used to drive for Clyde and Santos...
-So?
-So maybe one night you got a little too close to the fire... And you're gonna get burned, baby... And besides that, you're shit... D'you think I'd let my little girl go with shit like you?... Why, you belong right here in one of these toilets.
-You're gonna have to kill me to keep me away from Lula.
-Oh, don't worry 'bout that...
-Oh... Look at this... What do you want, snakeskin?
-Just passin' through on my way to who knows where...
-Sure... I figured I'd see you sometime...
-Hopin' you could tell me if there's a contract out on me. I really need to know.
-By who?
-I think Santos or Marietta Fortune.
-Heard you was goin' out with that bitch's daughter.
-You heard right.
-You really are one dumb asshole.
-Life is unpredictable.
-Does that girlfriend of yours know that her mama and Santos killed her daddy? Does she know her own daddy was one of the biggest drug dealers around - till he started snortin' the shit himself?... Does she know you was around that night her daddy was set fire to?
-I didn't see nothin'...
-Yeah... But I did... And I told you all about it...
-Is there a contract?... We made a deal once that we'd tip each other off if we ever heard.
-I know... I remember.
-Well?...
-I ain't heard of nothin'.
-I'll tell you the problem. You behind the wheel. There's your fucking problem.
-That's pretty simplistic, don't you think?
-Hey, pal, you don't start doing crazy eights in the middle of the street none of this happens.
-Excuse me. Did you, or did you not, have a gun to his head?
-What he means is, it's difficult to distill the essence of a book sometimes. It lives in the mind.
-That's just how my brain works, I guess.
-Fascinating. Listen, why don't you come out with us after the lecture. There's a place on the Hill I always get Trip to take me.
-Actually... I just want to go home.
-He's fine. He's narrating.
-Hey. What are you guys doing here?
-I like what you've done with it. When's Captain Nemo moving in?
-You all right, Professor Tripp?
-He's great. Come on, let's blow before lo' Gran decides to boil your bones for breakfast.
-Oh, well, that's just it. She's been coming down here, every half hour or so, to, sort of, check on me. If I'm not here, she might... call the police or... something.
-Hhhuh. So we decoy her. Stick a couple pillows and one of your teddy bears under the spread and she won't know the difference.
-You snore.
-So I hear.
-No offense, Professor Tripp, but you look sorta crappy.
-It's the Chancellor.
-Thank you.
-Tripp!
-How are you, Crabtree?
-I was explaining to Antonia how a book comes to be published. What you do as a writer, what I do as an editor...
-Emily?
-Your wife.
-Oh. We're picking her up. Downtown.
-Do you know how many times I've boarded an airplane praying someone like her would sit down beside me? Particularly while I'm on my way to Pittsburgh.
-Lay off Pittsburgh. It's one of the great cities.
-If it can produce a Miss Sloviak you'll get no argument from me.
-She's a transvestite.
-You're stoned.
-She's still a transvestite.
-Mm.
-It's fine. It's done. Basically. I'm just sort of... tinkering with it.
-Great. I was hoping I could get a look at it sometime this weekend. Think that might be possible?
-I don't know. I'm sort of at a critical... juncture.
-I thought you were tinkering.
-I just mean...
-You didn't actually purchase this car, did you. Trip??
-It was Jerry Nathan's. He owed me money.
-He said something about being between things.
-Trip??
-She left me. Crabs.
-Left you...? Who? Emily?
-This morning. I found a note in the kitchen.
-I thought you were Mrs. Gaskell's hobby, Tripp.
-Piss off, Crabs. I lost a wife today.
-Is that just beer?
-Primarily. Although I gather you two staged a little raid on the Crabtree pharmacopoeia. You missed a few bottles, by the way.
-I'm sure. Where is everyone?
-He has a book.
-I know. He started it Fall semester.
-So. Is he any good?
-No. Not yet he isn't.
-Well, I'm going to read it anyway.
-Come on. Crabs. Don't do this. He's one of my students, for Christ sake. I'm not even sure if he's --
-He is. Take my word for it.
-I think it's more complicated than that. Besides, he's a little... scattered. He almost... did something stupid tonight. At least, I think so. Anyway, he doesn't need sexual confusion thrown into the stew right now.
-No sexual confusion there, eh, Professor?
-He's a boxer. A flyweight.
-Huh uh. A jockey. His name's, um, Curtis... Curtis Hardapple.
-Not Curtis.
-Vernon, then. Vernon Hardapple. The scar's are from a -- from a horse. He fell during a race and got trampled.
-And now he's addicted to painkillers.
-He can't piss standing up anymore.
-He lives with his mother.
-And he had a younger brother who... was... a...
-Groom. Named Claudell. And his mother blames Vernon for his death.
-That was good.
-Christ, Crabs, what do you expect me to do? The kid's practically in a coma.
-Tripp.
-Yes.
-What's this guy's problem?
-Shit.
-Wait here. I'll be right back.
-Tripp?!
-Listen, Hannah, I'm flattered, really, but right now I --
-You stay there.
-Honestly, Tripp. Do you actually think I would sneak in here and read your book without asking you?
-Gee, I don't know, Crabs. I don't seem to remember you actually asking me if you could invite 200 people over to trash my living room.
-Sometimes we have to improvise.
-Think, Hannah. Does James have any friends. I mean, besides you and... me?
-James? My James? What's happened?
-Nothing, he's just been sort of, I don't know... kidnapped.
-Kidnapped? By who?
-His parents.
-Good God. Let's go rescue him.
-Good idea, Crabs. Only one problem. I don't know where they live.
-Ah. Wait a minute. The university must know where he lives.
-It's a little late to call Admissions.
-Is it a little late to call the Chancellor?
-You know -- based on what I've read -- this is a very exciting piece of material, this Big Parade.
-Love. It's Love Parade -- and what do you mean 'based on what you've read'? You skimmed two chapters at 80 miles an hour while gargling methamphetamines.
-I've been doing this a long time, Tripp. I feel this kid in my bones.
-How bad is it for you?
-Bad enough. And God knows I don't exactly fit the new corporate profile.
-Which is?
-So tell me about you and the Chancellor.
-What's to tell?
-Jesus. There must be two dozen windows on that thing. How are we supposed to find his?
-Oh, Christ, don't start on ol' Gran or we'll leave you here.
-So modest.
-So sensitive.
-Oh, come on, Tripp. Cut the kid some slack.
-It's just ail that crap he spins out. Just once I'd like to know if the little bastard is telling the truth.
-Crabtree.
-Is he awake?
-I'm afraid he's pretty worn out, poor kid.
-Shut up, James.
-So what's the problem?
-Who do you think it is?
-The Chancellor's here? Now?
-I want to publish this. I've got to. I think they'll let me. With a little editorial guidance it could be brilliant.
-So -- what do we do now?
-Find the jacket.
-Oh! Huh. Exactly how do we do that?
-First I see if Hannah will let me borrow her car.
-Want some help with that?
-Let me get this straight. Jerry Nathan owes you money. So, as collateral, he gives you his car.
-Only now I'm starting to think the car wasn't exactly Jerry's to give.
-So whose car is it?
-My guess -- Vernon Hardapple.
-The hood jumper?
-He said a few things that lead me to believe the car's his.
-Such as.
-'That's my car, motherfucker.'
-Uh huh. So. We find Vernon, we find the car. We find the car...
-...we find the jacket.
-There's only one problem, Tripp. We don't know his real name. We just made it up. In fact, we made the whole guy up.
-Christ, Tripp. How did you know?
-Naturally you have copies.
-I have an alternate version of the first chapter.
-You'll be all right then. Look at Carlyle, when he lost his luggage.
-That was MacCaulay.
-Or Hemingway, when Hadley lost all those stories.
-He was never able to reproduce them.
-Kind of a sign, you're saying.
-In a sense.
-The jacket, Tripp. We need the jacket.
-Came to my senses.
-Ah. Well. Congratulations. Meanwhile, what is James supposed to do? Pray for Walter Gaskell to come to his?
-Walter Gaskell isn't going to send James Leer to jail, Crabs. I know that.
-Do you know he won't expel him?
-No. But I don't think that matters.
-Me? What can I do?
-You peeked, didn't you?
-How are you -- is it Joe?
-Jeff. Sorry. I didn't even know this was your house until about an hour ago.
-Don't sweat it. Well. 'Night, Jeff.
-Oh, Professor Tripp? You know, last semester, what I said that time in office hours -- I hope there's no hard feelings.
-No...
-I mean, I was breaking up with this girl at the time and my car was ail fucked up and -- well -- I was pretty bent in general.
-It's cool, Jeff. Really.
-I'll be... somewhere else.
-You driving this car?
-Excuse me?
-This 1966 maroon Ford Galaxie 500. You driving this car?
-It's mine.
-Bullshit. It's mine, motherfucker.
-You must be mistaken.
-I passed out.
-You did.
-I've been doing that a lot lately.
-So I hear. You've also been smoking a lot of marijuana, I understand.
-Do you think that's why I've been having these... ...spells?
-How long have you been having them?
-The last month maybe.
-How long have you been smoking marijuana?
-Spiro T. Agnew was vice president, I believe.
-That's probably not the problem, then. What about your lifestyle. Any major changes recently?
-I've been trying to finish a book...
-And your wife left you.
-Is that in my chart?
-I know.
-You need to see a doctor, Mr. Tripp. An internist. And I think you really ought to consider seeing a therapist, as well.
-She told you about...
-Her dog, yes.
-Look, Mr. Tripp. You have a drug problem, all right? On top of that, you have a bite on your ankle that is severely infected. We pumped you with antibiotics so you'll be fine, but another day or two and you might have lost the foot. As for your spells. I'm guessing they're a result of the anxiety you've been experiencing lately.
-They're anxiety attacks? That's a little disappointing.
-Better luck next time.
-So is my friend... is Sara still here?
-No. There's no one here.
-Vernon.
-Move away, cupcake. He's got a gun.
-Who's got a gun?
-You've got a gun, motherfucker. Drop it!
-Not true. You're the only Vernon I know. Actually, I'm wrong. I once knew a Vernon Peabody at Penguin U.K.
-It's just a souvenir. They don't even make the caps anymore.
-Bullshit. I know a gun when I see one. And that's a gun.
-Who the hell is that?
-Let me get this straight. All that paper that went into the river. That was the only copy?
-'Fraid so.
-Hey, Vernon. Can I ask you a question?
-Boy or girl?
-Right. Well, thanks. For the lift.
-No sweat. Only do me a favor?
-Sure.
-Hello?
-Grady, it's Sara. Thank God you're there. You won't believe what's happened.
-Sara? Hi. It's Grady.
-Where are you, Grady? An elevator?
-I'm in Kinship. Listen, Sara, there's some things we need to talk about...
-You're in Kinship?
-Yes. But that's not why I called...
-With Emily?
-What? No. There's no one here. I'm just... just...
-...reconcile with Emily.
-Goodbye, Grady.
-No. Sara, you don't understand...
-Trust me, I understand. I just want to say something to you, Grady.
-Yea?
-It was my mother's. She won it in a penny arcade in Baltimore when she was in Catholic school.
-It's very convincing.
-It's just... for good luck. Some people carry rabbits' feet...
-Are you and Hannah seeing each other, James?
-No! What gave you that idea?
-Relax, James. I'm not her father. I just rent her a room.
-She likes old movies like I do, that's all. Besides, she doesn't really know me. She thinks she does, but she doesn't. Maybe it's because she's Mormon and I'm Catholic.
-You're not like my other teachers, Professor Tripp.
-You're not like my other students, James. So what was the movie you two saw?
-Huh? Oh. Son of Fury. With Tyrone Power and Frances Farmer.
-She went crazy, Frances Farmer.
-So did Gene Tierney. She's in it too.
-Sounds like a good one.
-Listen, James, about this afternoon. In workshop. I'm sorry. I think I let things get a bit out of control.
-They really hated it. I think they hated it more than any of the other ones.
-Well...
-It doesn't matter. It only took me an hour to write.
-Really? That's remarkable.
-You cold, James?
-A little.
-So what are you doing out here?
-It's colder in there.
-Actually, I saw the greenhouse. So I thought... I thought I'd come out here and take a look at it. You don't see one of those every day. It looks like heaven...
-Heaven?
-James. Don't leave just yet. There's something I think you ought to see.
-I'll miss my bus.
-Is that really it?
-That's really it.
-The one she wore on her wedding day?
-Go ahead.
-Really?
-They're glass. The buttons.
-It's feels unreal, like butterfly wings or... something. It must've cost Dr. Gaskell a lot.
-I guess. Walter never tells Sara the truth about how much he pays for these things.
-Pretty good. I'm friends with Dr. Gaskell, too.
-I guess you must be, if you know the combination to his closet and he doesn't mind your being here in their bedroom like this.
-I'm sorry. Professor Tripp. Maybe it's seeing that jacket that belonged to her. It just looks... really lonely. Hanging there. In a closet. Maybe I'm just a little sad.
-Maybe. I'm feeling a little sad myself tonight.
-You mean, with your wife leaving you and all? Hannah mentioned something about it. About a note.
-Shit, James. You shot Dr. Gaskell's dog.
-I had to. Didn't I?
-Couldn't you've just pulled him off me?
-No! He was crazy. I didn't -- he looked -- I thought --
-Do you have a mirror? It's the best way to see if someone's breathing.
-Professor Tripp? Can I ask you a question?
-Yea, James.
-I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how to tell the Chancellor I murdered her husband's dog.
-You?
-Trust me, James, when the family pet's been assassinated, the owner doesn't want to hear one of her students was the triggerman.
-Does she want to hear it was one of her professors?
-That's a big trunk. It fits a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly.
-That's just what they used to say in the ads. Come on, Crabtree, I know you're holding...
-Whose tuba is that anyway?
-Miss Sloviak's.
-Can I ask you something about her?
-Oh. So. Is -- is your friend Crabtree -- is he -- gay?
-Looks like... our old friend Mr. Codeine. That should take the pinch out of my ankle. Have one.
-No thanks. I'm fine without them.
-This is so embarrassing! You guys had to carry me out.
-Mmhmmm... knap... sap...
-Shit. He must've left it back at Thaw. In the auditorium.
-Thank you.
-I'm okay. I just lost my balance.
-I put you on the floor.
-Oh.
-Huh? Oh, no. This isn't Emily's. I just write in it.
-I guess there's probably a story behind that.
-Want me to get that?
-He didn't give his name.
-Who?
-The guy on the phone.
-What'd he say?
-He wanted to know if a Grady Tripp lived here and drove a dark maroon 1966 Ford Galaxie 500 with black interior.
-What'd you tell him?
-Yes.
-Good, James. If the Zodiac killer calls, be sure to mention the back door pops open with a couple hard shakes to the right.
-Afraid so.
-That's a big book you're writing.
-I think it's sort of writing itself at this point.
-Wow, Hannah always swore you were working, but --
-But... ?
-Nothing, it's just that, well, it's been awhile since Arsonist's Daughter, and some people -- some of the kids in workshop -- thought maybe you were...
-Washed up?
-Blocked.
-Professor Tripp?
-Hm.
-How did I get here last night?
-No one seems to know where you live, James. Hannah thought you'd like my couch.
-And... and before that. Did I do anything? Anything bad?
-How's that?
-I got kicked out. Well, not exactly kicked out. I was asked to leave.
-I guess there's probably a story behind that.
-There is, but it's not that interesting.
-So where have you been staying?
-It's not so bad. I know the night janitor. And there's a broken locker I can put my stuff.
-But James. I mean... How long?
-A couple weeks. That's why... that's why I had the gun. For protection.
-Jesus, James, you should've told someone.
-Who?
-Isn't this...?
-I can't help myself. I don't know what's the matter with me.
-She seemed to take it pretty well.
-Don't be proud, James. We're in Sewickley Heights. We could find you a nice golf course to barf on.
-I've got a thing about, places like this. I know what those houses are like. I know what the people are like.
-Humboldt County?
-Maybe...
-It's my father. He gets it from his doctor.
-Glaucoma?
-Colon cancer.
-It's a bit of a scandal. My parents live in a small town.
-Where's that?
-Carvel.
-Carvel? Where's Carvel?
-Outside Scranton.
-I never heard of it.
-It's a hellhole. Three motels and a mannequin factory. My dad worked there for thirty-five years.
-Your father worked in a mannequin factory?
-Seitz Plastics. That's where he met my mom. She was a fry cook in the cafeteria. Before that, she'd been a dancer.
-What kind of dancer?
-Whatever kind they wanted her to be.
-James Leer, are you telling me your mother was a stripper?
-I'm telling you what I was told by my uncle. And he should know. He ran half a dozen men's clubs in Baltimore before he skipped town on a bad debt.
-Didn't you say your Mom went to Catholic school?
-When we fall, we fall hard.
-I thought you were the guy who didn't like to lose control of his emotions.
-This is so nice. It's like where Andy Hardy would live. What's it called again?
-Kinship.
-Kinship. And what's here?
-The one that left you?
-Someone jumped on your car with their butt...
-How can you tell?
-Want one. They're incredible. Incredible.
-Maybe she didn't come here.
-Relax. Emily hasn't carried a house key since she was twelve years old. And your hips are as slim as hers.
-It's not that. It just reminded me of -- you know -- of what's in the car. In the trunk.
-It feels really... good... here.
-I just wanted a little sip.
-I just wanted a little sip? Tell me, James, exactly what point was it that you turned into Serpent Boy?
-Jesus... Look, James, you appear to possess -- like many an aspiring writer before you, by the way -- a rather ardent affinity for the stuff of which dreams are made. However, I think it's best if, for the moment at least ...we abstain.
-You're mad at me, aren't you?
-What?
-You're mad because I shot your girlfriend's dog.
-Okay, James, I wish you hadn't shot my girlfriend's dog. Even though Poe and I weren't exactly what you'd call simpatico, that's no reason for him to take two in the chest. Still, the fact remains that I'm the one who took you up into the Chancellor's bedroom. I'm the one who has to take the blame. I don't know what the hell I
-Sure you do. You were thinking: 'That's no cap gun in that kid's overcoat.' You were thinking 'I can't let that kid get on the bus alone -- he might never get on the bus again.' You were thinking: 'I've got to find a way to distract this kid.' So you did. It was -- in its way -- a noble act.
-So, why did you take me up there?
-It's warm.
-That's why they all give you such a hard time in workshop.
-Because of my coat?
-Because you act like a goddamn spook all the time. Not to mention the fact that every last one of them is jealous of you.
-Jealous? Of me?
-You're lying.
-The hell I am.
-Yes you are. My stuff stinks. I know it. You said so yourself.
-I never said that.
-Yes you did. Last night. To your friend Crabtree. "Is he any good?" he said. And you said: "Not yet he isn't." I heard you myself.
-I didn't mean it that way.
-It's okay, Professor Tripp. Carrie, Howard, the others -- they're right. My stories are annoying. They go on and on and on, and the longer they go on the more annoying they become, until finally you just want to grab something heavy and --
-But, last night...
-Who cares what I said last night, James I -- I was drunk, I was stoned. I'd been bitten by a dog. My wife had left me. How 'bout cutting me some slack?
-I'm sorry.
-Let me spell it out for you, James. Books don't mean anything. Not to anybody. Not anymore.
-You coming?
-Want a bite?
-No thanks.
-That's why you're having them. Your spells.
-Spells? Jesus, James, you make it sound like we're in a Tennessee Williams play. I don't have spells.
-What would you call them then?
-It's because you don't eat.
-I eat.
-When?
-You just worry about yourself, James. Okay?
-Where you going?
-I'm not going with them.
-James. Listen. Things -- things are a little weird with me right now and I -- well --I have enough blame to shoulder these days without having to take the blame if something bad happened to you. And if you hang around me long enough, something bad is going to happen, trust me. That's why I need you to go home. Understand?
-I'm not going, with them.
-James, like it or not, they're your parents.
-I remember that. Five or six years ago.
-Six. Their plane went down right outside Scranton.
-Near Carvel?
-Get out of here.
-That's why she hates me. That's why she makes me sleep in the basement.
-Can I -- I mean -- do you mind -- if I wear this again. Professor Tripp?
-And we both thank you for that, but we're... we're... fine.
-Does she mean -- does she know about... her dog?
-Don't worry, James, I'll figure something out.
-I'm not worried. You're not worried, are you. Professor Tripp?
-I'm a little worried, James.
-Don't be. I don't care if they expel me. I probably should be expelled.
-Professor Tripp...?
-Yes, James.
-Yes, Hannah?
-Thanks for that. He all right?
-I think so... What about you?
-Me? Sure. Why?
-He's going with me. You take Crabtree. And his friend. All right?
-Ail right. By the way, his friend...?
-James. This is my editor, Terry Crabtree.
-I've been re-reading Arsonist's Daughter. It's so beautiful, Grady. So natural. It's like all your sentences always existed, just waiting around in Style Heaven, or wherever, for you to fetch them down.
-I thank you.
-And I love the inscription you wrote to me. Only I'm not quite the downy innocent you think I am.
-So what are you going to do?
-Do?
-Look, Hannah. When you get him home... make sure he's all right. Before you leave. Okay?
-I would if I knew where I was taking him.
-Hannah, are you telling me you don't know where James Leer lives?
-Some apartment somewhere. But I've never seen it.
-That strikes me as odd.
-His bag. You know that ratty green thing he's always carrying around. He must've left it inside.
-All right. Take him to my place. He can crash on the sofa.
-The one in your office? It's the best one for naps.
-I thought we were going to talk. Last night.
-Hey.
-I know I shouldn't have, but there it was, just sort of lying out, and I couldn't resist and -- and -- I suck.
-No, it's okay. I just can't believe I left it out in the open like that. Crabtree hasn't been in here, has he? Poking around?
-Listen, Hannah. You don't remember where that aunt worked, do you? James' aunt.
-He shot the Chancellor's dog, didn't he? The blind one.
-Actually, He's not the Chancellor's -- What?
-At first the police thought he just ran away, but this afternoon Dr. Gaskell found some blood spots on the carpet --
-Jesus.
-Crabtree said it sounded like something James would be messed up in.
-Crabtree? He doesn't even know James.
-The aunt, Hannah. Where did you take James that day?
-I told you, Sewickly Heights.
-But where? I need the street.
-He cribbed that from Borges.
-Right. Anyway, I was wondering if I could borrow your car. Mine's sort of out of commission.
-I uh, I didn't finish, I... fell asleep.
-That good, huh?
-It's just that, you know, I was thinking about how, in class, you're always telling us 'that writers make choices -- at least the good ones. And, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying the book isn't really great -- I mean, really great -- but at times it's, well, very detailed, you know, with the genealogies of everyone's horses and all the dental
-Professor Tripp.
-Chancellor.
-I got the message you called.
-Easy there.
-I need to talk to you.
-That's funny. I need to talk to you, too. Perhaps you could put some of these coats in the upstairs guest room, Professor Tripp.
-I don't believe I know where the upstairs guest room is.
-New?
-You go first.
-All right. This morning --
-I'm sure.
-Well. This is... surprising. Does Walter...?
-Emily left me this morning.
-She's left before...
-So. I guess we just divorce our spouses, marry each other, and have this baby, right? Simple.
-Is that Cristaile?
-Hm.
-My God, I wear the same scent as a transvestite. She IS a transvestite, isn't: she?
-If she's not now, Terry will make sure she is by the end of the evening.
-Has he asked to see the book yet?
-Yes.
-And? Are you going to tell him?
-No. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do.
-Sara, my arm. I'm stuck, honey.
-You had another one, didn't you? You have to see a doctor, Grady. First thing Monday morning. All right?
-Is the thing -- is it over?
-Almost. Want to sit up? What's the matter?
-Well...
-Don't. I know what you're going to say.
-No, really, Sara, I don't think you --
-You love Emily. I know that. And you need to stay with her.
-I don't think I really have a choice in, that. Emily left me.
-Not have it.
-No. There's no way. I mean, don't you think there's no way?
-Well, no, I don't see any way. And I know how hard it is for you to -- to lose this chance.
-Who's gun is that?
-Heavy. Smells like gunpowder.
-Pow.
-You got me.
-I can't believe you hung up on me, you dick.
-Walter's on campus, being the good soldier for WordFest. But he's a basket case. Someone stole Marilyn's jacket last night. And Poe's missing, too.
-I heard.
-You heard? How?
-A twelve-year-old policeman came by the house this morning.
-Your fingerprints were all over the bedroom.
-Really? That was fast.
-I'm kidding. Hello?
-Oh. Right. Ha. Listen, about last night. There is something I need to tell...
-Are you limping? Why are you limping?
-Hub? Oh, well, that's part of what I need to...
-Did you pass out again, Grady? Did you fall somewhere?
-No. I mean. Well, actually, yes. Sort of. I don't remember. Listen, Sara, I have to tell you something.
-Gee, Grady, that sounded so heartfelt. I don't know whether to swoon or smirk.
-I believe you. I believe you want to be with me. But this is not just about me anymore.
-I know that. I know what's at stake here...
-No, I don't think you do. And besides... I haven't decided yet.
-About the baby.
-Who's that sitting in your car?
-James Leer.
-What's he doing out there?
-Sara.
-Oh?
-It seems one of our students is -- missing and his parents found a dead dog in his bed.
-I'm not very happy with you right now, Grady. But more importantly, Walter's not very happy and he's gotten the police involved. They seem to think James Leer is somehow responsible for all of this. You wouldn't happen to know where James is, would you, Grady?
-Inside.
-And the jacket?
-Someone stole my car.
-Grady.
-Honestly. Someone stole my car. I parked it right there last night.
-Are you sure you parked it there?
-This is not what the university has in mind when it promises a liberal education, Grady.
-Would Walter really press charges?
-You didn't happen to call the house last night, did you, Grady?
-I think I might have.
-And what do you think you might have said?
-He told you.
-He told me.
-And what did you say?
-I'm so glad to see you, Sara.
-I believe you. Did that nice doctor let you out? Or is this you improvising again, Grady?
-I'm through improvising.
-Terry told me about Wonder Boys. Is it true? Did you lose it all?
-I lost it all.
-Oh, Grady. You're such a putz.
-I know.
-Ouch. How many?
-I went and looked at some babies just now.
-Oh?
-I guess you have to go on faith.
-Did you tell Walter?
-I told Walter.
-Does he still love you?
-Did you just make that up?
-You don't deserve me, you know.
-The more the merrier.
-That perfume you're wearing, Antonia. It wouldn't happen to be Cristaile, would it?
-Why yes. How did you know?
-That's a nice greenhouse.
-Who's he barking at now?
-I need a ride.
-Couldn't he have just thrown a shoe at the poor thing?
-James is... I don't know...
-Disturbed. And when your friend Crabtree gets done with him, he's going to be even more disturbed.
-I'm not sure that's possible.
-Listen, Antonia --
-Tony. Now that I'm home.
-Tony. I'm sorry if things didn't work out so well for you tonight. With Terry.
-He's writing his name in water.
-What's that?
-Like most editors, he really wants to be a writer, but he's too busy living a novel to bother writing one.
-That sounds like a fancy excuse for being a shit.
-You mean because his career's ruined and all?
-Jesus. Is that what he told you?
-That's nice. All we have is a Japanese beetle trap.
-Walter?
-Who's this ?
-It's Grady, Walter.
-Grady?
-GRADY Tripp. English Department.
-I know it's you, Grady, I just... Christ, Grady, do you know what time it is?
-I have... eight-fifteen. That's not right, is it?
-It's three-thirty, Grady.
-This is important.
-Oh?
-I... I...
-What is it, Grady?
-I'm in love with your wife.
-Excuse me?
-No.
-No. I guess you're here for the backpack.
-Is it good?
-Say, Professor Tripp, is all that stuff true about Errol Flynn? How he used to put coke on his dick. To make himself, you know, like, last longer?
-Christ, Traxler. How the hell should I know?
-Oh, right. Yeah, that's true. He used to rub all kinds of things on it. Paprika. Ground lamb.
-Who's that guy?
-What exactly are we doing here, Professor Tripp?
-Yo, Traxler.
-Do you get high, Sam?
-Holy shit. Are you serious?
-As a heart attack.
-Yes. He's a good kid. Maybe a little messed up.
-What made you pull out that old thing?
-I was thinking of you.
-And?
-It's no Arsonist's Daughter, but I guess you know that. It's a young man's book. It got me remembering how it felt to be young.
-Maybe I should read it.
-Where's Emily, Hank?
-I don't know if she'd want me to tell you that, Grady.
-Where you stand?
-I -- just want to say I'm sorry.
-She's in Philadelphia seeing Linda Aahby. The neurologist.
-Neurologist? Why? What's wrong?
-Nothing's wrong. They went to Wellesley together.
-Oh. Right. Linda... I haven't been doing a lot of sleeping lately. My editor's in town and I have the book to finish and --
-Listen, Hank, I'm sorry about all this. I didn't come here to upset you and Irene. I want you to know that.
-I -- just wanted to see her, I guess -- Emily. And to see you too -- you and Irene. And to let everyone know that, even though it may be difficult to comprehend now, this -- everything that's happening -- it's not forever. It doesn't mean "Goodbye."
-Well, there's always people you don't know at these things, but I can't say there was anybody particularly suspicious... Wait. There was one guy. Tiny fella. Claimed to be a jockey.
-A jockey? You mean, like --
-Hardapple?
-I could be wrong. What happened anyway?
-Huh? Oh, someone pulled a B&E on Dr. Gaskell's closet. And the dog's missing.
-That's weird.
-We figure the perpetrator let him out. He's blind and we figure he just wandered off and got run over.
-The perpetrator.
-No, the dog.
-One other thing. About this kid, this student of yours -- Leer -- James Leer. You wouldn't know how I could get in touch with him, would you?
-I might have his number on campus.
-Are you riding with me, James?
-George Sanders?
-Mr. Crabtree was saying how George Sanders killed himself, only he couldn't remember how.
-There's so many...
-Pier Angeli, 1971 or '72, also pills. Charles Boyer, 1978, pills again. Charles Butterworth, 1946, I think. In a car. Supposedly it was an accident, but, you know... He was distraught. Dorothy Dandridge, she took pills in, like, 1965. Albert Dekker, 1968, he hung himself. He wrote his suicide note in lipstick on his stomach. Alan Ladd, '64, more pills, Carole Landis, pills again,
-I could swear I had a '63 Chateau Latour in here. You haven't seen it, have you?
-I doubt I'd recognize a '63 Chateau Latour if I was sitting on it.
-You'd recognize it if you tasted it.
-I doubt it, darling.
-Well, Q certainly will. And, given that he will be addressing 500 people in little over an hour...
-You want to keep him happy.
-Don't need to think fast to handle beer.
-Took some talking to convince your super I was a relative.
-You look good, damn good, considering you're an old man now!
-You doing okay?
-Got a job at old Frank's place. His son runs it now.
-Oh man, that kid takes himself real serious.
-Yeah, you still with Northland?
-Foreman now.
-No shit.
-Five years.
-Beautiful. How's business?
-I'll never forget you got me started there.
-Hey, is that a school?
-Living across the street from a grade school. Jesus.
-Something wrong with that?
-I was just thinking of... the noise.
-One hundred and twenty feet.
-What?
-Law says I can't come within one hundred feet of where children congregate. I figure the distance from my window to the school is one hundred and twenty. Make a bet?
-But maybe it's not so healthy being so close, you know, to a school.
-I should go. Your sister worries, and when she worries she yells.
-How is she?
-Annette? She's good... tense.
-When can I see her?
-I'm working on it.
-Is it because of Anna?
-I don't know. She won't talk about it.
-You're the only one in the family who still talks to me.
-I remember when they all referred to me as "the little spic poor Annette married." Except her brother. You treated me with respect. Look, you paid your dues. Your slate is clean now.
-How old is Anna?
-She'll be twelve next week. We're throwing a big party on Saturday. Wish I could ask you to come...
-What are you doing?
-Cherry.
-Huh?
-It's made from cherry. That's a hard wood.
-Notice the grain. See how deep and rich the red runs?
-It's my own design. You won't find another table like it in the world.
-It was a beautiful present.
-Then why the fuck are you giving it back to me?!
-You need a table.
-She was going to throw it out, wasn't she? Just toss it like a scrap of wood.
-It wasn't like that.
-Then what? What?!
-She's got all this new furniture now. She said it didn't fit anymore, so I kept it in the attic. I thought you might like it.
-I made that table for you and Annette, for your wedding. I put a lot of love into it.
-What's happening?
-Fucking Mariners.
-Fucking Tigers. They got no pitching except for a bunch of green kids straight out of Double A or Southern Cal. How was the party?
-What party?
-The birthday party.
-I've got some pictures. Want to see?
-No thanks.
-Ah, come on.
-I've got some good news.
-What's that?
-Aren't you glad?
-When?
-Soon.
-Next week? The week after?
-Anna will be away at camp. The house will be quiet. It's better when it's quiet.
-Tell Annette I'm busy in July.
-C'mon, Walter.
-You should see my appointment book. It got crazy.
-It's not what you think.
-Isn't it?
-The important thing is that you and Annette need to talk. She needs to see you, and you need to see her.
-I'm not a monster.
-You're a good man, Walter. Okay, you did some wrong things, but inside you're a good, decent man.
-Maybe I'm not a good man. Maybe inside I'm bad, and I'll always be bad.
-I get horny as hell for other women. I mean I fantasize about raping some beautiful woman.
-You don't have to tell me this.
-I'm just talking, man.
-Carlos, I never raped a woman.
-It's crazy out there. Young girls wearing mini this and mini that. Sometimes when I walk down the street and pass some sexy looking woman, she makes me feel like I'm bothering her. She stares down like she's afraid to look at me. Why she do that? Why can't she look me in the face?
-Carlos, can I ask you something?
-Sure.
-Nothing.
-Ask me. Ask me anything.
-What do you mean?
-What are you looking at?
-Birds.
-There's a million birds here.
-There's little chicks! You want to see?
-They're starlings.
-Is that right?
-I don't like starlings.
-Why not?
-They're extremely aggressive birds. Plus, their habits are rather filthy.
-You always carry these?
-When I go bird-watching. It's why I like coming here.
-It's just a city park.
-You'd be surprised how many kinds of birds you'll see here. Last week I saw a purple martin. And the week before that, I saw a solitary vireo. That's rare.
-A solitary vireo. I like that one.
-Their sound is quite musical.
-How does it sound?
-It's hard to describe.
-Try.
-I can't.
-I'd love to hear it.
-Something like that.
-That was terrific.
-You should hear the bird.
-You live around here?
-Not too far. Are you a bird-watcher too?
-Me? Nah. I'm more of a people watcher.
-Were you watching me?
-Not at first. You would stare at the tops of the trees so intently. Any second I thought you would take off and fly.
-I have to go.
-Do you come here often?
-My daddy likes me home before dark.
-See anything interesting?
-What are you writing in that book?
-Don't you have friends?
-I have friends.
-A pretty girl like you should have a lot of friends.
-I'm not pretty.
-What does that mean?
-You tell me your name, I'll tell you mine.
-Hiya, Walter.
-What's up?
-You don't know?
-I have no idea.
-I think you do.
-I haven't broken any laws.
-Then you won't mind if I look around.
-I would.
-Got something to hide?
-Doesn't everybody?
-I could get a search warrant.
-Cherry?
-Yeah.
-It's not for sale.
-And when you sit by the window, watching the girls in the little cotton skirts parade by, do you wave your wanger at the girls? Is that when you jerk off?
-You can't talk to me like --
-Okay?
-Too much sun.
-Your ivy. Too much direct sunlight. These plants don't like a lot of sun.
-They grow outside, don't they?
-Sure they do. But outside they've got trees around them. The trees shade them from the sun. Of course, the plants enrich the soil around the trees. One of nature's symbiotic relationships.
-You going to take me on a nature walk?
-Don't be witty. Yesterday you took the number twelve bus from work, but instead of getting off at your normal stop, for some reason you stayed on. Why did you stay on the bus, Walter?
-You walked home.
-This one guy on death row, who I'll call Henry, told me about his last victim. Henry says how he's in the bedroom of a seven-year-old cutie named Adele. Her mother's in the living room watching TV. She's got the volume on so damn high he can hear David Letterman's jokes. Henry puts his hand over Adele's mouth and says, "If you scream, little
-Fairy tales?
-Do you believe in them?
-No.
-Neither do I. What's the one with the woodsman?
-Woodsman?
-The one with the ax?
-I don't know.
-Sure you do. He cuts open the wolf's stomach, and the girl steps out alive.
-Little Red Riding Hood.
-You knew her?
-What?
-You don't know?
-Know what?
-I'll be asking the questions. Last night, you hear anything unusual? Screams? Shouts?
-No.
-A man was badly beaten across the street. You know anything about that?
-I was asleep.
-I didn't say what time the assault occurred.
-You said last night. I went to bed pretty early.
-The assault took place at approximately seven thirty.
-I wasn't feeling well.
-I could take you downtown.
-He I.D.'d the assailant. The description matches you pretty well.
-I suppose if you're looking for a male between the ages of thirty and fifty, medium height, medium weight, medium build. Probably not too many men fit that bill.
-That's a nasty scratch on your neck.
-I have a passionate girlfriend.
-What's with the boxes?
-You're a cop. Figure it out.
-I'd say you're moving.
-The passionate one?
-Yes.
-Then I'd say you're a lucky fellow.
-I count my blessings.
-You sure you don't know nothing about this?
-So. How are you adjusting?
-I'm adjusting okay.
-And your new apartment?
-Apartment's okay.
-Are you taking your medication?
-It gives me headaches.
-But you are taking it?
-Sergeant Lucas. May I come in?
-I'd keep away from him.
-What?
-The new man. I'd keep away from him, if I were you.
-Why's that?
-You don't want to know, but he's damaged goods -- real damaged goods, if you know what I mean.
-Just trying to be helpful.
-Have you seen Walter?
-People have the right to know.
-Yeah, like the bird.
-Can I ask how old you are?
-I'm twelve.
-No you're not.
-Walter.
-Do you have many friends?
-No.
-How come?
-A long time ago, I was sent far away. When they let me come back, all my friends were gone.
-It sounds like you were banished.
-Banished... yeah.
-Birds are my friends. That sounds egotistical, but they are. Birds know I watch them, but they don't mind because they like being watched... if they know you won't hurt them.
-Robin?
-Yes?
-What?
-Would you like to sit on my lap?
-No thank you.
-Are you sure?
-I'm sure. Thank you all the same.
-That's okay... doesn't matter.
-I know a place in the park where only very small birds go. There are no people or dogs or ugly crows and pigeons. It's quiet except for the song of these tiny sparrowlike birds. Would you like me to take you there?
-They sound like finches.
-My daddy lets me sit on his lap.
-Does he?
-Yes.
-What's her name?
-Ms. Kramer.
-Tell Ms. Kramer what your daddy does.
-I can't.
-You said you couldn't make the sound of a solitary vireo. But you did. Beautifully. I heard you.
-What will happen if I do?
-But will he... ?
-Your daddy will always love you.
-How do you know?
-I know because... it's just something I know.
-I don't want to hurt my daddy.
-Walter?
-Yes?
-No.
-I don't mind.
-You should go home.
-Can't I stay a little longer?
-It's getting dark. Go home.
-And how's your job?
-The job's okay.
-Do I take "okay" to mean you feel good about working there?
-I said the job is okay.
-That's right, you did. Have you made any friends there?
-I'm not running for Mr. Popularity.
-You seem a little hostile today.
-It's called sarcasm, Dr. Rosen.
-No need to call me doctor. I'm a therapist, not a psychiatrist.
-Walter, I'd like you to try something for me.
-What?
-I'd like you to keep a journal.
-A diary?
-That's right.
-No way.
-Why not?
-Diaries have sent too many guys to prison.
-I don't understand.
-Ev-i-dence.
-Oh. It never crossed my mind.
-Of course.
-It was just an idea.
-Bad idea.
-I thought a journal would encourage you to reflect.
-Reflect.
-That's right.
-You think reflection is good.
-It's very good, indeed.
-How's that?
-Try it.
-No fucking way.
-How's the journal?
-I'm still thinking about it.
-You don't like coming here, do you?
-It's okay.
-But you don't like coming here. Be honest, Walter.
-Honest? No.
-Good. That's an honest answer. And why don't you like coming here?
-Honest? Your cheery personality makes my skin itch.
-Is it just my cheery personality that makes your skin itch?
-Forget it.
-Maybe it's the way I look. Or the sound of my name.
-Rosen? I don't have a problem with that.
-Because if you did, I know a therapist named Ryan. I also know a therapist named Chung.
-How do you feel about that?
-I don't feel anything.
-You have no feelings for your niece?
-She was born after they put me away. How can I have feelings?
-Then why are you talking about this?
-Have to talk about something.
-What are you afraid will happen?
-I'm not afraid. I'm just saying that Carlos has a thing for his daughter, and if he isn't careful he's going to suffer.
-Have you talked to Carlos about your concerns?
-I'm not that crazy.
-Do you think you're crazy?
-If I'm not, then what the hell am I doing here?
-Why do you think you're here?
-You know why. It's part of the parole deal.
-Is that what you are angry about?
-Talking to you is like riding on a merry-go-round.
-How long is this going to take?
-We have a few more minutes.
-I mean, when will I be normal.
-We have a lot of work to do.
-Will I ever be normal?
-I couldn't say.
-You couldn't say.
-I'm afraid not.
-Do you know what "normal" is?
-I suppose it's however society defines it.
-How do you define it?
-I don't.
-Then how do you know if your patients are getting better?
-They usually tell me.
-How do they know?
-What is your idea of being normal?
-What is your idea of being a Jew?
-Whatever my ideas are of being a Jew is not going to help you. Why don't we continue this on Thursday.
-I want to be normal!
-Then go see a therapist who will tell you you're normal!
-Fuck you, Rosen!
-I know --
-You don't know!
-I don't know.
-What did you think would happen?
-I don't know.
-What did you want to happen?
-You know that if anything happens, I spend the rest of my life in prison. No parole, no nothing.
-Is this the first one?
-Of course it is! That's why I'm telling you!
-Walter, we'll pick up here next time.
-I want to talk about it now.
-We'll talk about it more on Thursday.
-Remember when you asked me what my idea of "normal" was?
-Go home, Walter.
-You're very late.
-Sorry.
-Please don't do it again.
-I said I was sorry.
-When did it all start?
-You mean my problem?
-If by "problem" you mean your desire for prepubescent girls, yes.
-I don't know.
-That's not a helpful answer.
-Close your eyes.
-What?
-I'd like you to close your eyes.
-Why?
-To relax.
-I'm relaxed.
-Close your eyes and let your mind be blank.
-No, I am not going to --
-When I say the word "girl" what is the earliest image that you can remember?
-Nothing. Can I open my eyes?
-No. When I say the word "pretty," when I say the word "pleasure," what is the earliest memory you see?
-I don't see --
-Who do you see?
-Where is she? What is she doing? How old --
-Not so fast.
-Sorry. Where is she?
-In my bedroom, sleeping.
-Where?
-In my bed, Rosen. Where do you think?
-Where are you?
-In my bed too.
-How old are you and your sister?
-We're little kids.
-But roughly, how old?
-And what are you doing?
-Just lying there. We're taking a nap.
-A nap?
-What the hell are you doing there?
-Did you and your sister often take naps together?
-Don't ever do that again.
-All right.
-I don't like nobody behind my back!
-Walter, what did you do while taking a nap with your sister?
-Nothing.
-Did you touch her? Did you take off her clothes? Did you take off your clothes?
-This is garbage!
-I'm only asking questions.
-Okay I'll tell you what I did -- just to shut you up! I smelled her hair.
-What else?
-That's all. I just liked smelling her hair.
-You felt pleasure.
-Did you get an erection?
-I was six years old!
-When the two of you held each other. When you were ten or eleven and she was eight or nine. When your parents were out and the two of you were alone... completely alone in that big house.
-It was a small house.
-All right. A small house... with small rooms.
-She's still really hurt... and angry. I don't know... if she will ever... forgive me. I understand that. I do. I just hope... I just want her to...
-It's going to take time, Walter.
-Time.
-How do you feel about that?
-What?
-Are you okay?
-Want a ride?
-I'm all right.
-There's something wrong with this picture.
-What picture?
-I'm talking about you.
-Me?
-Here's this nice, hard working guy who suddenly appears out of the blue and rides the bus to and from work. I mean, who rides the bus anymore?
-Very weird.
-No weirder than a sharp, young, good- looking woman working in a lumberyard.
-What's weird about that?
-Most women wouldn't choose it.
-You're quiet at work.
-I'm just quiet.
-You don't hang out with the other guys.
-Neither do you.
-You never spoke to me before.
-Are you?
-Southern light.
-What?
-Your windows face south. Northern light is the purest. But southern light is very good.
-I'll buy a plant.
-You plan to drink both those beers?
-Is that a school?
-K through sixth.
-Doesn't it get noisy?
-I like the noise.
-My place faces a truck street. I've got cracks in every window from the shaking.
-You must hate it.
-What about bears?
-What about them?
-They could eat you.
-I thought you were just shy, but now I think it's something else.
-What?
-Something happened to you.
-I'm not easily shocked.
-I get that impression.
-So... what's your dark secret?
-Why do you want to know?
-So?
-What?
-So, you're not a dyke.
-Hey, that was... intense.
-You're still here.
-I didn't say I didn't enjoy it.
-Of course. Sorry. I'm such a fucking asshole.
-No you're not.
-What's the problem?
-You think I have a problem?
-Do you?
-It's been a while since...
-Tell me about it.
-Maybe later.
-How about in the morning.
-The morning?
-I thought I'd stay the night.
-What for?
-Did I say something wrong?
-I suffer from insomnia.
-Is that all?
-When I do sleep, I sweat a lot. Usually I get nightmares and wake up screaming.
-Hey, there.
-Why do you want to know?
-What's the worst thing you ever did?
-The worst?
-So, what did you do?
-I molested little girls.
-Molested little girls?
-You're not joking.
-Look, you can go now.
-Sorry.
-What did you do to them?
-It's not what you think.
-How young?
-I never hurt them. Never.
-Twelve years in prison?
-Why don't you just go now, okay?
-I told you I'm not easily shocked.
-You should be shocked. Or do you get off on this shit?
-What?
-Get your kicks somewhere else.
-Hey, I'm not --
-Depraved? My mistake.
-You don't molest little girls anymore, do you?
-What was prison like?
-You don't really --
-You mean the time you're locked away?
-No. Prison is time. That's it. You think time, you feel time, you hear time. Your heart doesn't beat to live, it just beats... time.
-I'm sorry, Walter.
-My father took me fishing here when I was a kid. He could name every fish in the lake. And for every fish he named, he had a fishing story. I hated fishing, but I loved his stories.
-Sounds like a special guy.
-I've changed.
-Is it their innocence? Their beauty?...
-Their power. They seduce me.
-They seduce you?
-I was always the one seduced.
-You really believe that?
-No. That's what I used to tell myself.
-And what do you tell yourself now?
-Nothing. It's over.
-You know, this is crazy.
-What?
-Being here, with me.
-I know.
-Most people say the odds are against me.
-What odds?
-For men like me. They say most of us end up back... there. I'm saying there are risks... seeing me.
-Well, most people are stupid. You want to talk about odds? One day I'll tell you how I survived as the youngest in a family of three sons. You wanna talk about odds?
-I got poked around... here and there.
-Which brother did this?
-All three -- in chronological order.
-You must hate your brothers.
-I love my brothers.
-No you don't.
-I love all of them. They're strong, gentle men with families of their own. And if you asked them about what they did to me, they'd call you a fucking liar and then beat the shit out of you.
-You never asked them about it?
-Are you serious?
-Not ever?
-Maybe this isn't a good idea.
-What?
-You're scared.
-I'm not scared.
-Neither am I.
-We should live together.
-Live together.
-It's a bad idea.
-I don't even know how to live with myself.
-Just think about it.
-I've got problems.
-Who doesn't?
-Most people don't have my kind of problems.
-Guess that makes you pretty special.
-I say we call it quits.
-What's this?
-I don't need a plant.
-Thank you.
-Don't be scared, Walter.
-I'm not scared.
-Don't do that.
-Do what?
-Sneak up behind me like that.
-What's your fucking problem?
-What's going on?
-I didn't sleep well.
-Do you want to talk about it?
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-I heard they were filthy birds.
-Goddamnit! D'you tell him we need it right now?
-This ain't no drill, slick. Make me proud.
-Right through the brainpan. Deader'n dogshit, boss.
-Gimme a three-eighths socket on a long extension. So there you were--
-There we were, side by side, on the same ship, for two months. I'm tool-pusher and we're testing this automated derrick of hers. So, we get back on the beach and... we're living together.
-Doesn't mean you had to marry her.
-We were due to go back out on the same ship. Six months of tests. If you were married you got a state-room. Otherwise it was bunks.
-Okay, good reason. Then what?
-It was alright for a while, you know. But then she got promoted to project engineer on this thing, couple years ago.
-She went front-office on you. Tighten that for me, right there. That's it.
-You done impressing yourself, ace?
-She-hit.
-How you guys doing?
-You got it?! You got it?
-Benthic Explorer, Benthic Explorer. Do you read, over? This is Deepcore--
-Nice shot, Lins.
-Bud! Hippy's on the bitch-box. It's a call from topside. That new company man.
-What's goin' on, Boss?
-Okay so far.
-Where are we?
-Lord Almighty.
-Deep and slow, big guy. Deep and slow. Just breathe easy.
-I... they're all dead, Bud. They're all dead. I thought... some of them... you know...
-I'm taking you back out.
-Okay, Jammer. No problem. You stay right here. I have to go there to the end... you'll see my lights. We'll stay in voice contact. Just hold onto the rope. Five more minutes. Okay?
-Thanks. How you feeling, big guy?
-I can't believe you let them do this!
-Hi, Lins. I thought you were in Houston.
-I was, but I managed to bum a ride on the last flight out here. Only here isn't where I left it, is it, Bud?
-Wasn't up to me.
-We were that close to proving a submersible drilling platform could work. We had over seven thousand feet of hole down for Chrissake. I can't believe you let them grab my rig!
-Your rig?
-My rig. I designed the damn thing.
-Yup, a Benthic Petroleum paid for it. So as long as they're hold the pink slip, I go where they tell me.
-You wimp. I had a lot riding on this. They bought you... more like least rented you cheap--
-I'm switching off now.
-Well, well. Mrs. Brigman.
-You never did like being called that, did you?
-Not even when it meant something. Is that One Night up in Flatbed?
-I can't believe you were dumb enough to come down. Now you're stuck here for the storm... dumb, hot-rod... dumb.
-You need me. Nobody knows the systems on this rig better than I do. What is something was to go wrong after the Explorer clears off? What would have you done?
-You wanna know what I think?
-I think you were worried about me.
-No, I think you were. Come on, admit it.
-I was worried about the rig. I've got over four years invested in this project.
-What are you still wearing that for?
-I haven't worn mine in months.
-Yeah, what's-his-name wouldn't like it. The Suit.
-So what about "Michael" then... Mr. Brooks Brothers... Mr. BMW. You still seeing him?
-No, I haven't seen him in a few weeks.
-What happened?
-Bud, why are you doing this? It's not part of you life any more.
-I'll tell you what happened... you woke up one day and realized the guy never made you laugh.
-Did you get anything on the cameras. Video or anything?
-No. Look, forget it. I don't want to talk about it.
-Fine. Be that way.
-I don't know what I saw. Okay? Coffey wants to call it a Russian submersible, fine. It's a Russian submersible. No problem.
-But you think it's something else. What? One of ours?
-No.
-Jammer saw something in there, something that scared the hell out him--
-His mixture got screwed up. He panicked and pranged his regulator.
-But what did he see that made him panic?
-What do you think he saw?
-Hippy, just relax. You're making the women nervous.
-What's the scoop, ace?
-Need some help?
-Thanks. No, I can handle it. Bud... there won't be enough to run the heaters. In a couple hours this place is going to be as cold as a meat locker.
-What about O-2?
-Brace yourself. We've got about 12 hours worth if we close off the sections we're not using.
-The storm's gonna last longer than 12 hours.
-Hey, Lins... I'm glad your here.
-Come on, you guys... look, this is the little one right here. You can see how it's kind of zigging around.
-If you say so. It could be anything.
-Jesus, Lindsey--
-Bud, something really important is happening here.
-Look. I'm just trying to hold this situation together. I can't allow you to cause this kind of hysteria--
-All I'm saying is when you're hanging on by your fingernails, you don't go waving you arms around.
-I saw something! I'm not going to go back there and say I didn't see it when I did. I'm sorry.
-God, you are the most stubborn woman I ever knew.
-I need you to believe me, Bud. Look at me. Do I seem stressed out? Any of the symptoms of pressure sickness, any tremors, slurred speech?
-No.
-It was a machine, but it seems almost alive. Like a... dance of light. Bud, you have to trust me... please. I don't think they mean us harm. I don't know how I know that, it's just a feeling.
-How can I go on a feeling? You think Coffey's going to go on you 'feeling'?
-Look, goddamnit, if you won't do something about it, I will.
-You dumb jarhead motherf--
-He's got the shakes?
-I think it likes you.
-They must've learned how to control water... I mean at a molecular level. They can plasticize it, polymerize it... whatever. Put it under intelligent control.
-He's jammed the mechanism.
-Okay, I'm gonna free-swim to hatch six... get inside, get the door open from the other side.
-Bud, that water's only a couple degrees above freezing.
-You owe me one, Virgil.
-You did okay, back there. I was fairly impressed.
-Not good enough. We still gotta catch Big Geek.
-You totaled it, huh?
-It's flooding like a son of the bitch.
-Try again.
-Well, that's that.
-Good hundred yards, I'd say.
-They'll come out after us.
-You see where it's coming in?
-Can't get to it. Have to pull this panel off. You go any tools?
-Son of a bitch!
-Okay... okay. We gotta get you out of here.
-How?
-I don't know how!
-We've only got one suit.
-I know! I know! But we better come up with something.
-Okay, look, you swim to the rig and come back with another suit.
-Alright, put this on.
-What, you growing gills all of a sudden? You got it on, keep it on.
-Don't argue, goddamnit, just--
-Lindsey, just put the thing on and shut up--
-NO!! Now be logical, Bud, you're--
-Listen... will you listen to me for a second!? You're for the suit on and you're a better swimmer than me. Right? So I got a plan...
-What's the plan?
-I drown, you tow me back to the rig--
-It is insane.
-Oh God, Lins... I--
-Hey... big boys don't cry, remember?
-Hi, lady.
-Hi, tough guy. I guess it worked, huh?
-'Course is worked. You're never wrong, are you? How d'you feel.
-No, Bud, no... not you.
-Hello, Brigman.
-We'll take reading as we go. If the reactor's breached or the warheads have released radioactive debris, we'll back away. Simple.
-Look, it's three AM. These guys are running on bad coffee and four hours sleep. You better start cutting them some slack.
-I can't afford slack, Brigman.
-Hey, you come on my rig, you don't talk to me, you start ordering my guys around. It won't work. You gotta know how to handle these people... we have a certain way of doing things here.
-We'll go in through that large breach.
-Coffey, we're a little pressed for time.
-Did you find Wilhite?
-Virgil?
-God, I hate that bitch.
-Just get around so your lights are on the hatch.
-What's the matter with you?
-No, I mean it. Those SEALs aren't telling us diddly. Something's going on.
-Hippy, you think everything's a conspiracy.
-That's Perry.
-That's it then. Finler, McWhirter, Dietz, and Perry. Jesus.
-Do we just leave him there?
-Come on, man. What else could it be?
-Why bring it here?
-Lins, stay away from that guy. I mean it.
-Go to the infirmary... get the cart .. oxygen... de-fib kit... adrenaline in a... ten cc syringe... and some... heating blankets. You got all that?
-Got it. Over.
-Is that it? Is this right?
-Yeah! I mean, I don't know... it looks right.
-Hey, you guys are milking that job.
-Triple time sounds like a lotta money, Bud. It ain't. I'm sorry...
-He's convulsing!
-'Fish'?
-Yuh?
-Hafta... go on to... the moonpool. Only way.
-Howdy, y'all. Hey, Lindsey! I'll be damned! You shouldn't be down here sweet thing, ya'll might run ya stockings.
-Couldn't stay away. You running mixture for us? Good. Couldn't ask for better.
-Cat, you tie onto this manifold. There's some tanks on the other side; I'm gonna go check them out.
-You better not say you missed that.
-Y'all could be more specific.
-I think they're from 'you know'. Some place that has similar conditions... cold, intense pressure. No light.
-We should be dead. We didn't decompress.
-Those guys ain't so tough. I fought plenty of guys tougher'n them.
-Hippy, you pussy.
-Quiet! Quiet!
-Are we talkin' little space friend here?
-That thing was probably their version of Big Geek... like an ROV.
-SHIT!
-Lady, we better fish or cut bait.
-Get comfortable. The bad news is we got six hours in this can, blowing down. The worse news is it's gonna take us three weeks to decompress back to the surface later.
-We've been fully briefed, Mrs. Brigman.
-Look, we've all made chamber runs to this depth. We're checked out.
-Cab One, do you see it yet?
-Cab One, radiation readings?
-Neutron counter's not showing very much.
-Copy that, continuing forward. You just want me to get shots of everything, right?
-Roger, document as much as you can, but keep moving. We're on a tight timeline.
-Radiation is nominal. The warheads must still be intact.
-How many are there?
-24 Trident missiles. Eight MIRVs per missile.
-I want 'round-the-clock manning of the sonar shack and the exterior cameras. We need early warning if the Soviet craft try another incursion.
-You've got some huevos bringing this... thing... into my rig! With everything that's been going on up in the world, you bring a nuclear weapon in here? Does this strike anyone as particularly psychotic, or is it just me?
-You don't need to know the details of this mission... you're better off if you don't.
-You're right... I don't. I just need to know that this thing is out of here! You hear me, Roger Ramjet?
-Deepcore, Deepcore... this is Cab Three on final approach.
-Cab Three, check. Right behind you.
-What's you depth, Cab Three?
-1840... 50... 60... 70...
-Figured that out for yourself, did you?
-A non-terrestrial intelligence.
-Look, you can just punch into his little chip where you want him to go, and he goes, right?
-Well, yeah, but the tether off it ain't gonna be fancy. When he gets down there he'll just sit, like a dumb-shit. Unless something wanders through view of the camera, you'll get nada.
-No. Just you and me. We get some proof, then tell them. Hippy, look... if was can prove to Coffey it's not Russians, maybe he'll ease off the button a little.
-Schoenick... your Lieutenant is about to make a real bad career move...
-He can't get to the door... I think he's going to try and take him himself.
-12000 feet. Jesus, I don't believe he's doing this.
-Uh, oh...
-Fluid breathing system. We just got them. We use it if we need to go really deep.
-How deep?
-Hey!
-Stand by on the ROV.
-Getting a reading?
-You boss is having a full-on meltdown. Guy's fixing to pull the pin on fifty kilotons and we're all ringside!
-High-Pressure Nervous Syndrome. Muscle tremors, usually in the hands first. Nausea, increased excitability, disorientation.
-4800 feet. It's official.
-8500 feet, Bud. Everything okay?
-Ask him a pressure effects. Tremors, vision problems, euphoria.
-He's losing it. Talk to him. Keep him with us.
-He can still make it.
-What kind of light?
-Would we see the flash?
-But your friend is waiting downstairs.
-When do you have to go back?
-I don't know... It depends on Ettore... He's now in the process of negotiating for a contract here in Sicily...
-Then how come you're not with him?
-I'd like to find a place where I can get some peace and rest, maybe around here somewhere. I'd like to try...
-How are you?
-Anna... Maybe it would be better to wait a while.
-Sandro... A month is too long a time. I have become used to being without you.
-You'll get over it soon. It's the usual anxiety.
-A little more so this time.
-So, it will just take you a little longer to get over it.
-But I think we should talk about it. Or are you fully convinced that we too won't understand each other?
-There will be plenty of time to talk about it later. We'll get married soon. That way we'll have more time...
-In this case, getting married means nothing. Aren't we already the same as being married? And Corrado and Giulia -- aren't they already the same as being married?
-But why rattle your brains by arguing and talking... Believe me, Anna, words never help at all. They only serve to confuse. I love you, Anna. Isn't I that enough?
-No. It's not enough... I told you before that I would like to get away for a while and be alone.
-But you just said that a month was too...
-I mean, to stay away longer -- two months... a year... three years... Yes, I know, it sounds absurd. And I feel awful. The very idea of losing you makes me want to die... And yet... I... I just don't have the same feeling for you any more.
-And what about yesterday... at my house... didn't you have any feeling for me, even then?
-But where are you going?
-I'm thirsty.
-You know, I could just as well go without seeing him today.
-Did you sleep well?
-Yes, fairly well. But I went to bed last night planning to do some thinking about a number of things ... instead, I fell asleep.
-Which one shall I wear?
-This one is gorgeous.
-Claudia, aren't you coming?
-I'm certainly not going to swim across.
-Isn't it fashionable any more to put on a sailor's cap with the name of the yacht?
-And how long will you be away?
-Four or five days.
-Used to what?
-To the fact of my retirement, not only as a diplomat but also as a father.
-But how could you say such a thing?
-Because it's true. After thirty years -- not having ever spoken the truth to anyone, I should at least allow myself to do so with my own daughter.
-And have you any other truths to tell me?
-You already know what they are.
-Up until now, Dad, I've been the one who hasn't wanted to marry him.
-I presume by this method that you'll be able to uncover some new clue, either a handkerchief or an article of clothing... In other words, something which your men have not been able to find as yet.
-Without any doubt, sir. If anything belonging to the girl who has run away is still here on this island...
-Allow me to inform you that my daughter is not a fugitive.
-I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to put it that way. But, you must understand, sir, that I...
-This looks to me like a good sign. Don't you think so? As far as I'm concerned, anyone who reads the Bible could not have committed an act of impropriety. Why... as a matter of fact, I remember when I was in China, many years ago, I happened to be involved in a similar situation, concerning an English woman, the wife of Ambassador Shafford,
-It's already two hours... What are we going to do?
-These people are contemptible. They have no sense of dignity at all.
-And you say that came from Lisca Bianca?
-It couldn't have come from anywhere else. At least, somewhere from that vicinity... But I really can't understand it. Contraband cigarettes on that island! It's the first time that ever happened.
-Look... I'd like to get back to Lisca Bianca.
-But how could we...at a time like this when we just... well, let's at least first have a look around the other islands. Could be that something might turn up there.
-But even here we were supposed to find who knows what... And all we bring back with us is a crate of cigarettes.
-What is that one over there called?
-That must be Basiluzzo.
-Say, Claudia, wouldn't you like to climb up with me and take a look over there?
-At what?
-Well?
-Well, what?
-Have you decided?
-How wonderful!
-I think you're very sweet, Corrado.
-More so than the shark?
-There's no comparison.
-Somebody must live here!
-Really! Still, it remains to be seen why she invented a shark. What was her purpose in that?
-Maybe you'd better ask him.
-I have a feeling that you're not used to being alone.
-Don't be so humble.
-How should I be ... arrogant?
-There's nothing much to laugh at.
-Shall we go for a swim?
-Twelve years ... But why haven't they married?
-And why haven't they left each other?
-I'm beginning to have my doubts. It couldn't be that they're in love?
-Find anything?
-As far as I'm concerned, I think she's alive... Why, even this morning... that business about the shark... it wasn't at all true.
-And why do you tell us this only now?
-Nothing but the usual argument... The only thing was -- if I remember correctly -- that she said she had a need to be alone.
-Nothing... nothing at all!
-And I suppose it's my fault... Why don't you tell him that too. That's what you believe, isn't it?
-Are you feeling better?
-I'm sorry about last night. Please forgive me.
-You're very fond of Anna, aren't you?
-Yes, very much so.
-Has she ever spoken to you about me?
-Occasionally, but always with affection.
-And yet, she seemed to feel that our love for her -- mine, yours, even her father's, in a certain sense -- weren't enough for her, or didn't mean much to her.
-I think that you might go and have a look yourself.
-Where are you going?... To Montaldo's?
-Yes.
-Have you read it?... They're asking for anyone with information to get in touch with them.
-Yes. I had also thought of going there to talk with them...
-Yes, you should go.
-Sandro, I don't want you to come with me, I don't want to see you... How can I make it clear to you?...Why did you come?
-I don't know why. I just couldn't help it.
-But sooner or later we've got to end this relationship. And it's better to do it right now.
-I have no desire to sacrifice myself... It's idiotic to sacrifice oneself... Why?... For whom? If Anna were here I might understand your scruples. But she's not...
-Oh, Sandro...
-I'm sorry. I didn't want to sound cynical. But isn't it better to look things squarely in the eye?
-For me they are exactly as they were when we met three days ago -- just three days ago... don't you realize? And you and Anna... No, I guess they aren't like that any more. My God, is it possible to forget in such a short time, for things to change so quickly?
-It takes even less.
-But it's so sad. So terribly sad. I'm not used to it, I'm not ready for it... You know... I have never been so upset in my life. Sandro, why don't you help me?
-I think the only way to help ourselves, Claudia, is for us to be together.
-No, I'm sure it won't. Move over there. Let's make believe nothing happened. And when we get to the next station, get off.
-And what about you?
-Claudia, listen to me...
-Promise that you won't try to look for me... you shouldn't try to look for me any more...
-Any news?
-Let's get out of here, fast... This is not a town, it's a cemetery.
-Sandro ... maybe it's best that you go in alone.
-Are you joking?
-What is it, Claudia?
-Oh, Sandro... I'm so ashamed of myself, so ashamed...I tried to hide myself...I feel so small... I hate myself ...
-Does it please you to say such things?
-Oh no... It doesn't please me at all...
-Then why do you say them?
-Good. It's better if it were absurd. That would mean nothing much can be done about it.
-But just think -- the very same things you had said to her who knows how many times... maybe even just before we left, while I was waiting outside your place...
-Really, I've got to stop this business with Ettore... I would like to go back and start working on my own projects again. You know, I had many ideas...
-And why did you drop them?
-Why are you looking at me like that?
-I'm sure you'd be able to design some very lovely things.
-Claudia, let's get married?
-What! Get married?
-Yes. We'll get married. You and I. What do you say?
-What do I say? What can I say? No. At least, not yet. I don't know... I can't even think of it... at a time like this... Oh, but why did you have to ask me?
-You look at me as though I had said something foolish...
-And are you sure you want to marry me? Are you really sure...that you want to marry... me?
-That's why I asked you...
-But why am I so infatuated with you?
-Hurry up now, or it'll begin to get hot outside...
-And you leave me here all alone... in this hotel room...
-But you know it already. Why must I tell you?
-Then I'll see you later.
-Sandro ...What's the matter?
-No, Sandro... Please...
-Why?
-Sandro, wait a moment, just one moment... You seem like an entirely different person ...
-What are you saying?
-I was only joking, really... Can't I make a joke? And now you've got to tell me why you don't want to.
-Did the hotel manager speak to you about that place nearby?
-Yes, she started to but I didn't feel like staying to listen to what she had to say. If we had to listen to everybody...
-No, Sandro... We should go. Besides, we haven't been in touch with anybody. Not even with Anna's father. We should have at least sent a wire or telephoned... let's be fair, he must be feeling awfully lonely.
-Sandro, listen... Try not to get yourself too involved tomorrow.
-Aren't you going to change?
-Sandro, I'm not coming down.
-Why?
-I'm too sleepy.
-You're that sleepy, eh? What time do expect to get up tomorrow?
-Good night, my love.
-Good night. Tell me that you love me.
-I love you.
-Tell me once more.
-I don't love you.
-Well, with a shark running loose around the place, I for one won't get aboard that raft! They'll have to catch it first. I want to see it right here before my feet, dead or alive.
-Tell me, Claudia, what do you think of Raimondo?
-I would say he's pretty depraved.
-He amuses me. I don't know of anything more amusing. Outside of this jigsaw puzzle. Don't you find it so, Claudia?
-One would have to be in love with somebody to know that.
-Have you ever been in love?
-What amazes me, is Sandro. He seems so calm.
-I'm going with the patrol boat to make a tour around the islands.
-To do what?
-I just can't leave without first searching those islands, one by one.
-But where did you finally end up?
-It's divine!
-You say that just to flatter me.
-Do you consider that a compliment?
-I'm not coming.
-Shouldn't we try to find a quieter place?
-How do you manage to put up with all this confusion? You always said people bore you.
-My childhood, instead, was a very sensible one.
-What do you mean by sensible?
-Patrizia... Patrizia ... Where's Ettore?
-I imagine he must be inside sleeping.
-Patrizia, I'm afraid.
-More or less, we are all afraid. Especially at night.
-I'm afraid that Anna has come back. I feel she's back, and that they're together.
-Now, listen. For God's sake, try not to let yourself become obsessed with that idea. Go to your room and get back into bed.
-Just several days ago, the thought of Anna being dead would have made me sick. And now, I don't even cry, I'm afraid she might be alive. Everything is becoming so damned simple and easy, even to deprive one's self of pain and suffering.
-You should never wish to get melodramatic over anything.
-Who are you talking to?
-Please, you come too...
-But for what reason should I come there?
-They're all nudes, if I'm not mistaken.
-And tell Corrado, too, that I'm here... if he wants me. You can also tell him that my tiny little heart is beating like mad, and that at this moment, it's the only thing that interests me. Is that clear?
-Now what do I have to do to be left in peace?
-It's as smooth and slick as oil.
-At one time the Aeolian isles were all volcanoes.
-What happened?
-There's a shark in the area. Don't move from where you are!
-Why didn't you ask me to go with you?
-Do you know why? Because if you saw those ruins I'm sure you would have said they were very, very beautiful. You always say "how beautiful" to everything -- whether it's the sea, or a baby, or a cat! You have such a sensitive little heart that it throbs for anything.
-But Corrado... If something is beautiful why shouldn't one say so?
-He never misses a chance to humiliate me, to let me know that he doesn't care about me any more.
-Looks like the weather is changing.
-I'll stay here also.
-But why?... What if it starts to rain?
-How did you spend the night?... In that hut?... And what did you have to eat?
-What do you think?
-Corrado, why don't you ask them to give it to us as a gift?
-But how can you carry on a discussion in this heat?
-I'm going ashore to take a look around the island. There are some ruins up there...
-There too...
-It's really a fact -- there's nothing new under the sun. Now, look here. Look at this structure... a kind of natural shelter. Sandro, that's how you should design your houses.
-Let's try to be practical about this. The best thing to do is for all of you to go to the closest island that has a police station, or something, and report the disappearance. I'll remain here... because... well, I don't know, but it seems to me that something may turn up. Anyway, I just don't feel like leaving.
-Claudia, I know how you feel, but there are already two of us staying...
-And what are we going to do now?
-Up until now those smugglers were operating only around the Palermo area. This will be a nice surprise for the Lieutenant in Milazzo... Call up headquarters. Bring them up to date and have them give you instructions on what to do with this crate.
-So... the boat we saw yesterday afternoon might have also been that of these smugglers. Could it be possible, then, that Anna...?
-I wonder where they could have unloaded the stuff ... Maybe right here at Lisca.
-I was saying... it might even be possible that Anna had left with them.
-But for what reason would she have wanted to go away?
-Listen, Marshal... As for there being reasons for going away, anyone of us might have three thousand of them. So you can assume that she had them. What I want to know, is it possible that the smugglers might have taken her aboard?
-And who is this?
-First let the poor thing have something to eat.
-Ettore...
-What is it?
-Nothing, nothing at all. I was just looking for Sandro.
-And you expect to find him in here? Go and ask Claudia.
-Let's see you dive from the top of those rocks, Giulia. That would be really sensational. Come on, Giulia ... your life is much too circumscribed.
-Where is she going?
-The trouble with you is that nobody can speak to you, that's all.
-Giulia, don't you understand that the more involved you become with people, the more difficult it is to speak with them?
-You men are all so dreadful!
-Goffredo is the Princess' nephew. He's eighteen years old, the lucky boy. And, what do you know -- he paints.
-Giulia...
-Because there is no landscape as beautiful as a woman.
-And where do you find the models?
-Oh, there are as many as one wants.
-It's strange how anxious women are to display themselves. It's almost a natural inclination.
-But how could they pose like that? I couldn't.
-Why don't you try?
-Don't you ever paint men?
-Answer me, why don't you try posing? I'll paint you a beautiful portrait.
-But why me?... Ask Claudia, she's much more beautiful than me.
-But I want to paint you. You appeal to me more.
-They tell me you have a lot of trouble at home. Is that right?
-Yes, sir. My sister is sick... and my father, too.
-Yes, sir. Three times.
-Now, we're getting somewhere! They're beginning to contradict each other. Now look here, your friend just swore to me that you weren't able to do any fishing at all because the sea was too rough... And what about the other boat?
-What other boat?
-Now look, my men saw it and they also saw you men throwing those crates overboard. What have you got to say about that?
-I work there but I'm really a stranger.
-I tell you this acquaintance of mine knows you and she has often spoken to me about you.
-And who is she? Does she work in Catania?
-Yes, she takes care of the garden.
-Then it's impossible for her to know me. In the villa where I'm at, we have a male gardener.
-So? That's logical. You see, both being gardeners, they spoke about you to one another.
-And what did they say about me?
-We have a radio like this, too.
-No, not like this one.
-And why wouldn't we have one like this?
-Certainly a radio this small is very practical. It's especially useful for... I don't know... for traveling.
-Music, of course. To get a sweetheart, one has to look around, but to get a radio, all you have to do is buy one.
-Anything new develop?
-Unfortunately, no.
-Very well. First of all, I'll have them search the waters around the island. I brought two frogmen with me... Meanwhile, we'll take a look up around here.
-Look, Marshal, with those deep crevasses, you'll need some rope and ladders...
-Don't worry, we've got everything.
-Another thing; there's an old man who lives here on the island...
-I only exchanged a few casual words with her, as one would ordinarily do on a public bus...
-And do you remember where she got off?
-Then you should also be able to tell me where a young girl might stay in Noto; are there any hotels or rooming houses?
-There's the Trinacria Hotel... or the Regina, near the municipal building. As for rooming houses, I don't know...
-Thank you.
-Are you the owner of this place?
-No. The owners are in Australia.
-But where did you come from?
-Whose boat is that?
-What boat?
-Just a moment ago... didn't you hear the sound of a motor?
-At this time of the year there are so many boats...
-And how come you're up so early?
-Perhaps she wasn't feeling well... Maybe a cramp or something...
-Anna is an excellent swimmer. Even with a cramp, she would have managed to reach shore somehow.
-Listen, Patrizia... The Marshal says there's a current that passes by here and ends up at another island... I don't know which... He wants to send one of his men over to have a look... One never knows... Do you mind if I ask Raimondo to go with him?
-Patrizia, what are you going to do?
-What do you want us to do? I don't know myself... But we'll do something.
-We've decided to go to Montaldo's place. In fact, Ettore should already be there.
-And here's Sandro. Why don't you two go upstairs and change?
-Did you manage to find good rooms?
-They didn't seem too good.
-You should have told Ettore. He always manages to get what he wants.
-Ettore must be fed up with me by now.
-Your mother?
-Why have we stopped?
-Raimondo... Do you enjoy fishing underwater?
-Now, tell the truth, aren't you a bit disappointed?... But I already told you...
-Patrizia, don't start in again... I would rather be called depraved. Unless you happen to love children.
-You know, I don't love anybody.
-You've made some mistake there with the bushes... that's why you can't finish it.
-Here I am, Patrizia. I'm always here.
-Zuria?
-Yes. Until proven otherwise.
-I would like to ask you something.
-She costs a hundred thousand lire.
-You're kidding!
-I read one of your articles regarding the disappearance of a girl. I'm that girl's fianc‚.
-Oh... I'm sorry I have to rush but I've got to write a story about this thing that just happened... Tell me exactly how it all turned out.
-As a matter of fact, I've already had several phone calls on that article. One said they had seen the missing girl in an automobile somewhere in Rome. Another one said they saw her on the pier talking with some strange sailors... Could be she secretly left the island by boat...
-Is that possible?
-Who knows?... Another one has it that she entered a store in Troina. This information comes from the storekeeper himself who stated that such and such a girl had bought I don't know what in his store... at Troina.
-Is that far from here?
-About fifty miles or so. If you want, I'll give you the name of the storekeeper.
-Yes... of course... But you should also print that in your paper... But right away, tomorrow morning... It's the local Palermo paper, isn't it?... I mean, it's widely read...
-Yes, but why do you think our readers would be interested in such news now? Even if I sent it, the editors wouldn't print it.
-You really must do me this one favor.
-Pardon me, but why must I do you a favor?
-Agnes, it has come to my attention that you have stopped eating. Why is this? AGNES I've been commanded by God.
-He talked to you Himself?
-No.
-Through someone else?
-Yes.
-Who?
-I can't say.
-Why?
-She'd punish me.
-One of the other Sisters?
-No.
-Because I'm getting fat.
-Oh, for Heaven's sake.
-I am, there's too much flesh on me.
-Agnes...
-I'm a blimp.
-Why does it matter whether you're fat or not...
-Because...
-... You needn't worry about being attractive here.
-I do, I have to be attractive to God.
-He loves you the way you are.
-No he doesn't. He hates fat people.
-Who told you this?
-It's a sin to be fat.
-Why?
-Look at the statues, they're thin.
-Agnes...
-That's because they're suffering... suffering is beautiful, I want to be beautiful.
-Who tells you these things?
-Christ said it in the Bible, he said - suffer the little children, I want to suffer like a little child.
-That's not what he meant.
-I... I am a little child but my body keeps getting bigger and soon I... I won't be able to fit in, I... I won't be able to squeeze into Heaven.
-No... I mean... I mean look at these. I've got to lose weight, I'm a blimp.
-Oh my dear child.
-God blew up the Hindenburg. He'll blow me up, that's what she said...
-Who?
-Mommy I'll get bigger and bigger every day and then I'll pop but... but if I stay little it won't happen.
-Your mother tells you this?... Agnes your mother is dead.
-But she watches... she listens.
-Nonsense, I'm your mother now and I want you to eat.
-I'm not hungry.
-You've got to eat something Agnes.
-No I don't... the host is enough.
-My dear, I don't think a communion wafer has the recommended daily allowance of anything.
-Of God.
-I'm being punished.
-Why?
-I don't know.
-Sister Marguerite says you have been sleeping on a bare mattress Sister. Is that true?
-Yes Mother.
-Why?
-We're not in the Middle Ages, Sister.
-It made them holy.
-It made them uncomfortable. And if they didn't sleep well I'm certain the next day they were cranky as mules. Sister where are your sheets? Do you really believe that sleeping on a bare mattress is the equivalent of sleeping in a coffin?
-No.
-Then tell me. Where are your sheets?
-I burnt them.
-Why?
-They were stained.
-How many times have I burned into your thick skull and the thick skull of your fellow novice, that menstruation is a perfectly natural process and nothing to be ashamed of.
-Yes, Mother.
-A few years ago one of the Sisters came to me in tears, asking for comfort, comfort because she was too old to have any children. Not that she wanted to, but once a month she had been reminded of that possibility.
-It's not that... it's not that...
-What do you mean?
-It's not my time of month.
-Should you see a doctor?
-I don't know. I don't know what happened Mother, I woke up... there was blood on the sheets, but I don't know what happened. I don't know what I did wrong, I don't know and I should be punished.
-For what?
-I don't know... I don't know...
-Hello. I'm Doctor Livingston. I've been asked to talk to you. May I?
-You have a lovely voice.
-No I don't.
-I just heard you.
-That wasn't me.
-No I'm not.
-Hasn't anyone ever told you that before?
-Let's talk about something else.
-What would you like to talk about.
-I don't know.
-Anything... may I sit down?
-First thing that comes to your mind?
-God! But there's nothing to say about God.
-Second thing that comes to your mind.
-Love.
-Have you ever loved anyone?
-Yes.
-Who?
-Everyone.
-Well, who in particular?
-Right now?
-Uh huh.
-I love you.
-Agnes, have you ever loved another man... other than, Jesus Christ?
-Yes.
-Who?
-Oh, there are so many.
-Well do you love... do you love Father Martineau?
-Oh, yes!
-Do you think he loves you?
-Oh, I know he does.
-He's told you?
-No. But... when I look into his eyes, I can tell.
-You've been alone together?
-Yes.
-Often?
-At least once a week.
-And you like that?
-Oh, yes.
-Where do you meet?
-You want to talk about the baby don't you?
-Would you like to talk about it?
-I never saw any baby... I think they made it up.
-Why should they?
-I don't know.
-Do you remember the night they said it came?
-No. I was sick.
-How were you sick?
-Something I ate.
-Did it hurt?
-Yes.
-Where?
-Down... there.
-And what did you do?
-I went to my room.
-And what happened?
-I got sicker.
-And then what?
-I fell asleep.
-In the middle of all the pain?
-Yes.
-Where did the baby come from?
-What baby?
-The baby they made up.
-From their heads...
-Is that where they say it came from... ?
-No, they say it came from the waste paper basket!
-Where'd it come from before that?
-From God.
-After God... before the waste-paper basket.
-I... I don't understand.
-Agnes, how are babies born?
-Don't you know?
-Yes I do, but I want you to...
-I don't understand what you're talking about... you want to talk about the baby... everybody wants to talk about the baby but... I never saw the baby so I can't talk about the baby because... I don't believe in the baby.
-Then let's talk about something else...
-No... no, I'm tired of talking, I've been talking for weeks, nobody believes me when I tell them anything... nobody listens to me.
-Agnes...
-No... no, I don't want to answer any more questions.
-Would you like to ask them?
-What do you mean?
-Just that... you ask and I'll answer.
-Anything?
-What's your real name?
-Martha Louise Livingston.
-Are you married?
-No.
-Would you like to be?
-Not at the moment, no.
-Do you have any children?
-No.
-Would you like some?
-I can't have them any more.
-Why not?
-I've stopped menstruating
-Why do you smoke?
-Does it bother you?
-No questions.
-Smoking is an obsession with me. Maybe one day I'll become obsessed with something else, then I'll stop smoking... Do you have any more questions?
-One.
-Where do you think babies come from?
-From their mothers and fathers of course. Before that, I... I don't know.
-Do you know a Marie?
-No... do you?
-Why should I?
-You liked Sister Paul?
-She was kind to me. She told me I was beautiful.
-What else did she tell you?
-Sister Paul was in her eighties? Did she climb up here often?
-No, only when she felt like it. She brought me up here last winter and the next day she died.
-No wonder... wait... Agnes... Agnes how do you feel about babies?
-Oh, they frighten me, I'm afraid I'll drop them. They have a soft spot on their heads and if you drop them so they land on their heads they become stupid. I was dropped on my head, that's why I don't understand things.
-Like what?
-Numbers... you can spend your whole life counting and never reach the end.
-I don't understand them either. Do you suppose I was dropped on my head?
-I hope not. It's a terrible thing to be dropped on your head.
-What happens if the bell rings and you're under there?
-It's like hiding from my mother when I was a little girl.
-Where did you go?
-Oh, no place as wonderful as this. Agnes... have you ever thought of leaving the convent for something else?
-No. There is nothing else. Just being here at night helps me sleep.
-You have trouble sleeping?
-I get headaches. Mommy did too... oh, but she wasn't stupid. She knew things that nobody else knew.
-What things?
-She knew what was going to happen to me. That's why she hid me away.
-How did she know that?
-Somebody told her.
-Who?
-I don't know.
-Agnes...
-You'll laugh.
-I promise I won't laugh. Who told her?
-An angel, when she was having one of her headaches.
-Did your mother see angels often?
-No.
-Do you?
-No.
-Do you believe she really saw them?
-No, but I can never tell her that.
-Why not? Mmm?
-Agnes, did you love your mother?
-Yes.
-Did you ever want to be a mother yourself?
-I could never be a mother.
-Why not?
-Well I don't think I'm old enough and besides I don't want to have a baby.
-Why not?
-Because I don't want one.
-If you did want one, how'd you go about getting one?
-From someone who didn't want to have a baby.
-How would that person get one if they didn't want one?
-A mistake...
-Agnes, how did your mother get you?
-A mistake... it was a mistake...
-Is that what she said?
-If you're trying to get me to say that she was a bad woman and hated me and didn't want me but that's not true, she was a good woman, a saint...
-Agnes, I don't believe you know nothing about sex...
-I can't help it if I'm stupid.
-... that you don't remember getting pregnant...
-Not my fault.
-... and that you don't believe you carried a child.
-I was a mistake.
-What the child?
-Everything... I don't have children.
-Agnes, I'm here because I want to help you.
-I'm not sick.
-But you're troubled... aren't you?
-That's because you keep reminding me. If you go away then I'll forget.
-And you're unhappy.
-Everyone's unhappy, you're unhappy aren't you?
-Agnes...
-Answer me! You never answer me.
-Sometimes, yes.
-What did you do?
-I'm always bad.
-What did you do?
-Agnes. What did your mother do to you? If you can't answer me, just shake your head yes or no. Did... did she hit you? Did she make you do something you didn't want to? Did it make you feel uncomfortable to do it? Did it embarrass you? Did it... did it hurt you? What did she make you you do?
-No...
-You can tell me.
-I can't.
-She's dead isn't she?
-Yes.
-She can't hurt you any more.
-She can.
-How?
-She watches... she listens.
-Agnes, I don't believe that. Tell me. I'll protect you from her.
-She...
-Yes?
-... makes me...
-Yes?
-... take off my clothes and then... she makes fun of me.
-She tells you you're ugly?
-Yes.
-And that you're stupid?
-Yes.
-That you're a mistake?
-She says my whole body's a mistake.
-Why?
-Because she says if I don't watch out I'll have a baby.
-How does she know that?
-Her headaches.
-Oh, yes.
-And then...
-What?
-She touches me down there with a cigarette. Please Mommy, don't touch me like that any more. I'll be good, I won't be a baby any more.
-Agnes, oh Agnes, Agnes I want you to do something. I want you to pretend that I'm your mother. Oh yes, only this time I want you to tell me what you're feeling, alright?
-I'm afraid.
-Please! I want to help you. Let me help you.
-Alright.
-Agnes, you're ugly!... what do you say? Of course you do. Agnes, you're ugly!... what do you say?
-No I'm not.
-Are you pretty?
-Yes.
-Agnes, you're stupid.
-No I'm not.
-Are you intelligent?
-Yes I am.
-You're a mistake.
-Oh Agnes, oh Agnes, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, I love you.
-Do you really love me or are you just saying that?
-I really love you.
-As much as Mother Miriam does?
-You're listening to a chorus of angels. The music surrounds you like a... warm and, comfortable pool of water. And while you're sleeping, you're going to be able to recall, all the things that we want you to remember. And when I count to three and clap my hands, you'll no longer be hypnotised. Can you hear me.
-Yes.
-Who am I?
-Doctor Livingston.
-And why am I here?
-To help me.
-Good. Would you like to tell me why you're here?
-Because I'm in trouble.
-I'm frightened.
-Of what?
-Of telling you.
-But it's easy. It's just a breath with sound. Say it. What kind of trouble?
-How did you have a baby?
-It came out of me.
-Did you know what was going to come out?
-Yes.
-Did you want it to come out?
-No.
-Why?
-Because I was afraid.
-Why were you afraid?
-Because I wasn't worthy.
-To be a mother?
-Yes.
-Why?
-May I open my eyes now?
-No not yet Agnes, very soon but not yet. How did the baby get into you?
-It grew.
-What made it grow? Do you know?
-Yes.
-Would you like to tell me?
-No.
-Did anyone else know about the baby?
-I can't tell you that.
-Will she be angry?
-She made me promise not to.
-Who? Who made you promise? It's alright Agnes. It's alright. Let's go to your room. It's the night about six weeks ago when you were very sick.
-I'm afraid.
-Oh don't be, I'm here. It's alright. I want you to tell me what you did before you went to bed.
-I ate.
-Hm hmm. What did you have for dinner?
-Fish... ... brussel sprouts.
-You don't like brussel sprouts?
-And then what happened?
-We went to chapel for vespers.
-Hm hmm.
-What is it?
-Someone's following me.
-Who?
-Sister Marguerite I think.
-My bed.
-What else?
-A crucifix.
-Above the bed? Any... anything else? What do you you see, something different? What is it?
-A wastepaper basket.
-Do you know who put it there?
-No.
-What do you think it's there for?
-For me to get sick in.
-Are you ill?
-Yes.
-What do you feel?
-I feel as if I've eaten glass.
-What do you do?
-Which one?
-I don't know which one
-Of what?
-Of me. Oh... God! My God... Water... it's all water...
-Why isn't anyone coming?
-Who?
-Go away, I don't want you here.
-Is someone in the room with you?
-Alright Agnes... it's alright. One, two three... It's alright... it's me, Doctor Livingston, it's alright, alright. Thankyou Agnes, thankyou. How do you feel?
-Frightened.
-Do you remember what just happened?
-Yes.
-That's good. Do you feel well enough to stand?
-Agnes, can you hear me?
-Yes.
-She said Michael.
-The statue. She had shown it to me the day before.
-And the passage to the barn?
-Yes.
-Why?
-So I could go to him.
-Who?
-Him.
-How did she know about him?
-She'd seen him too.
-Where?
-From the belltower the day she before she died.
-So she sent you?
-Are you frightened?
-It's bleeding... I'm bleeding... my God it won't stop, I can't get it to stop. Let go of me, I wish you were dead.
-Stay away from me...
-Agnes it had nothing to do with the hand of God. He did a terrible thing to you, do you understand?
-No...
-He frightened you and he hurt you. It's not your fault. It's his fault. Tell us who he is so we can find him. Stop him from doing this to other women.
-Not your fault...
-Agnes who did you see?
-I hate him...
-Of course you do. Who was it?
-I hate him for what he did to me.
-Yes.
-For what he made me go through.
-Who?
-I hate him.
-God! It was God. And now I'll burn in hell because I hate him.
-It was dead.
-It was alive wasn't it?
-Mother Miriam was with you wasn't she?
-Yes.
-She took the baby in her arms?
-Yes.
-You saw it all didn't you?
-Yes.
-And then... what did she do? Agnes what did she do?
-What did you do?
-I put her to sleep.
-H... how?
-I've been watching. We were fine 'till she came. She brought the devil here. There was blood on her hand that night.
-Agnes? Who? Mother Superior?
-???
-What?
-Look into the convent records.
-Are you dictating my position to me? We're getting into some sticky legal territories here.
-Martha, all we're saying is, no-one wants this to come to trial, not the Church, not the Crown... least of all me.
-Eve, she strangled a baby!
-Martha, you have to make a decision on her sanity as quickly as possible and not interfere with due process of law.
-No... no, excuse me Eve. As quickly as I see fit.
-The longer you take to make a decision, the more difficult it will be for us.
-Why?
-The bishop is breathing down our necks.
-Here you are. Don't let anyone know where you got them.
-Larry...
-Marty, what are you doing here?
-Larry there's got to be something missing.
-I gave you the pictures Marty, what else do you want?
-Something they... that they overlooked.
-What? You think that the girl is innocent?
-I don't know.
-Larry...
-What's the matter with you, you've seen the reports. It's a cut and dried case.
-Maybe there's something that's not in the report that should be.
-Thanks.
-Martha, it's you.
-Would you tell me why the hell this is taking so long.
-???
-All I want is one more week.
-Why? You've done nothing to show any progress.
-Yes, that's because I'm getting to her.
-You're getting to all of us Martha, let's face it.
-I'll have a decision by next week.
-It's gone on long enough. You're out.
-Oh Joe... Joe she didn't kill the baby.
-You have proof?
-I'll have it.
-When?
-No, no, no...
-I can get you new evidence next week.
-No!
-Hello, Mama ... brought you something.
-Shut up, I'm trying to watch this.
-It's your favourite...
-Who are you?
-It's Martha, Mama. There you go.
-Marie brings me icecream too you know. Chocolate... my favourite.
-I thought cherry-vanilla was your favourite.
-Not any more... now I like chocolate.
-Did you have a good week Mama. Are they treating you all right?
-You know Martha never comes to see me. You watch it, she's going straight to hell... after all the things she said to me. Then she marries that son of a bitch of a Frenchman... has an abortion. I knew that one wouldn't work out. Not like you Marie. You got married to God.
-Marie's dead Mama.
-I remember when you was a little girl Marie. You come back from the movies and you'd say - Mama that ending was so sad... and I'd tell you they had all the happy endings locked away in a vault in Hollywood. And you believed me.
-Mama, that wasn't Marie, that was me!
-Who are you?
-The convent was built for over fifty. Not many of us left... just us and the chickens.
-How do you survive?
-Oh, we own the land around here. But we rent it out. We keep a few acres for ourselves, some wheat, corn, some vegetables.
-Well that's a lot of land. You must have help. Do you have field hands that help you?
-No. We work the land alone. No-one but Sister Marguerite and I are permitted contact with the public.
-Oh that one there, in the corner.
-The one up on the third floor?
-Yes.
-No.
-Well you're probably right about that. It certainly can't help Sister Agnes to have this investigation continued for any length of time.
-Why do you call it an investigation? I never have.
-Your mother was a resident of Saint Catherines home before you moved her.
-And you had a sister who died in the convent.
-Who told you this?
-Do you still go to church?
-What business is it of yours..?
-Oh, we just wonder if you can be very objective about this case.
-Look, Father, ah... just because I don't subscribe to the... to the beliefs you subscribe to...
-But what you believe makes no difference to us whatsoever Doctor. But it does make all the difference to Agnes.
-I don't understand. Are you expecting me to..?
-I'm afraid the word brings up the most unpleasant connatations in this day and age...
-Yes... I...
-You can call me Sister.
-... Thank you.
-You were a smoker?
-Two packs a day.
-I can beat that.
-Who knew about Agnes' pregnancy?
-No-one.
-How did she hide it from the other nuns?
-She undressed alone... she bathed alone.
-Is that normal?
-Yes.
-How did she hide it during the day?
-She could have hidden a machine gun in here if she had wanted to.
-Didn't she have any physical examinations in this time?
-We're examined once a year. Her pregnancy fell in between the doctor's visits.
-Who was the father?
-I haven't a clue.
-What man had access to her?
-None as far as I know.
-Was there a priest?
-Yes, but I...
-What's his name?
-Father Martineau, but I don't see him as a candidate.
-Could there have been anyone else?
-Obviously there was.
-And you didn't try to find out who?
-Believe me, I've done everything possible short of asking Agnes.
-She can't even remember the birth. Do you think she'd admit to the conception?
-Look, someone gave her the baby.
-Yes, but that was some ten months ago. I fail to see that the identity of that somebody has anything to do with this trial.
-Why do you think that?
-Don't ask me those questions dear, I'm not the patient.
-Well I'm the doctor. I'm the one who's going to decide what is, or is not important here.
-Look doctor, I don't know how to tell you this politely, but I don't approve of you. Not you personally...
-The science of psychiatry.
-Exactly. I want you do deal with Agnes as speedily and as easily as possible. She won't hold up under any sort of cross examination.
-I am not with the Inquisition.
-Well... what do you think? Is she totally bananas or merely slightly off centre... or maybe she's perfectly sane and just a very good liar.
-What's your opinion?
-I believe Agnes is different.
-From other nuns... Yes I... I've noticed.
-From other people! I believe she is not crazy, nor is she lying.
-How could she have a baby and know nothing of sex or birth?
-Because she's an innocent. She's a slate that's hasn't been touched except by God.
-That's ridiculous...
-In her case it isn't. She's had very little schooling. Her mother kept her home almost all the time and when her mother died Agnes came here, to us. She's never been out there Doctor. She's never seen a movie or a television show. She's never even read a book.
-If she's so innocent, how come she murdered a child?
-She didn't! This is manslaughter, not murder. She didn't consciously kill that baby. She'd lost a lot of blood. She was unconscious by the time we got to her.
-So, someone else could have done it.
-No... not in the eyes of the police.
-And in your eyes?
-I've already told you what I thought.
-That she was unconscious, yes! So someone easily could have come in the room and killed the...
-You don't really believe something like that happened do you?
-It's possible isn't it?
-Who?
-That's absurd!
-That possibility never occurred to you?
-This convent is locked solid. The only one that has a key is Sister Marguerite and she wouldn't let Christ in after dark.
-Well, it's been known to happen in the day too. Maybe Agnes went to him.
-Oh come on, you've talked to her. She doesn't even know how babies are born, let alone made.
-When did you first learn about her... innocence, the way she thinks?
-Shortly after she came to us.
-And you weren't shocked?
-I was appalled, just as you are now.
-And what happened?
-This was before her pregnancy?
-Why didn't you take her to a doctor?
-It was healed by the following morning and she started eating again...
-She had a... a hole in the palm of her hand! She could have bled to death.
-But she didn't... did she. If anyone had seen what I'd seen she'd be public property... newspapermen, psychiatrists, ridicule. She doesn't deserve that.
-She has it now.
-I know what you're thinking, she's a hysteric pure and simple.
-Not simple, no.
-I saw it. Clean through the palm of her hand. Do you think hysteria could do that?
-It's being doing it for centuries. She's not unique, she's just another victim.
-God's victim. That's her innocence. She belongs to God.
-You hate us don't you?
-What?
-Nuns... you hate nuns.
-I hate ignorance and stupidity.
-The Catholic Church...
-I haven't said anything against the the Catholic Church.
-Catholicism is not on trial here. I want you to deal with Agnes without any religious prejudice or you turn this case over to someone else...
-It's my affair too.
-I'm only interested...
-She is not a child.
-???
-??? ... virginity, right Mother? Poverty, chastity and ignorance is what you live by.
-I am not a virgin, Doctor. I was married for twenty three years, two daughters. I even have grandchildren... surprised? It might please you to know that I was a failure as a wife and mother. My children won't even see me any more, that's their revenge. I think they tell their friends that I've passed on. And don't tell me I'm making up
-Then help her.
-I am...
-No, you're shielding her. Let her face the world.
-What good would it do. No matter what you decide it's either the... the prison or the nut house and the differences between them are pretty thin.
-There's another choice.
-What?
-Aquittal.
-How?
-All right, what do you need.
-When would Agnes have conceived the child?
-Oh, some time in January.
-Do you remember anything unusual happening at the time?
-Earthquakes?
-Visitors to the convent.
-Nothing.
-Do you have a... a diary or a day book?
-Yes.
-There's nothing here.
-Was the child full term?
-Oh, Dear God...
-What is it?
-The sheets...
-What sheets?
-When was that?
-The twenty third of January. On that night one of our elder nuns passed away.
-Sister Paul?
-You lied to me
-About what?
-Your niece!
-I didn't tell you because I didn't think it was important.
-No, it just makes you doubly responsible doesn't it?
-I never saw Agnes until she set foot in this convent. My sister ran away from home. We lost touch with her. And when my husband died and I came here, she wrote to me and asked me if I would take care of Agnes in case anything happened.
-Like keeping her home from school?
-Yes.
-Listening to angels?
-She drank too much. That's what killed her.
-Do you know what she did to her?
-I don't think I care to know.
-She molested her!
-Oh, dear God.
-There is more here than meets the eye isn't there? Lots of dirty little secrets.
-Oh God, if only I'd known.
-Why didn't you? You knew she was keeping her home from school. You knew she was an alcoholic.
-I knew that after the fact.
-Why didn't you do anything to stop her?
-Because I didn't know...
-And my permission?
-We'll see about that.
-Don't deny it!
-I haven't decided yet.
-The woman's health is at stake.
-Her spiritual health.
-I don't give a damn about her spiritual health.
-An unhappy woman...
-She's happy with us and she could go on being happy if she was left alone.
-Because I am a moral person.
-Bullshit!
-Bullshit yourself!
-Catholic Church doesn't have a corner on morality...
-Who said anything about the Catholic Church...
-You just said...
-What the hell has the Catholic Church got to do with you?
-Nothing...
-It wasn't sex. It was a lot of things, but it wasn't sex. You know when I was in the first grade my best friend was run over on the way to school, you know what the nun said? She died because she hadn't said her morning prayers.
-Stupid woman... and that's all?
-That's all? That's enough! She was a beautiful little girl.
-And what has that to do with it?
-I wasn't. I wasn't. She was the pretty one. She died, why not me? I never said my morning prayers. And I was ugly, I was scrawny, I had buck teeth and freckles all over my face, do you know what the nun called me, Sister Mary Clitus, called me Polkadot Livingston.
-So you left the Church because you had freckles?
-My sister died in a convent. And it's her voice I hear. Does my smoking bother you?
-No, it reminds me.
-Would you like one? Huh?
-I'm out of prac... ... practice.
-All right?
-Fine thanks...
-Do you suppose the saints would have smoked if tobacco had been popular back then?
-Undoubtedly. Not the ascetics of course but, well Saint Thomas More...
-Long, thin and filtered.
-Saint Ignatius would smoke cigars and stub them out on the soles of his bare feet. And of course
-Hand rolled.
-Even Christ would partake socially.
-Saint Peter?
-Pipe!
-Right...
-Mary Magdelen?
-Oh, you've come a long way baby.
-Right. What do you suppose today's saints are smoking?
-There are no saints today. Good people yes, but extraordinarily good people... those I'm afraid we are sorely lacking.
-Do you think they ever existed?
-Yes I do.
-Do you want to become one?
-Become? One is born a saint.
-Well you can try, can't you, to be good?
-Do you think Agnes is still attached to God?
-Listen to her singing.
-I'd like to begin.
-Begin what?
-The hypnotism. Do you still disapprove?
-Would it stop you if I did?
-May I be present?
-Of course.
-Stop this, she'll hurt herself I'm not going to allow this.
-I've just met with the bishop. We're taking you off the case.
-You're what?
-If we want to hire a psychiatrist for Agnes. we'll find our own, thank you.
-One that will ask the questions you want asked.
-One that will approach this matter with some objectivity and respect.
-For the Church?
-For Agnes.
-You think she's a saint?
-She's been touched by God, yes.
-How? How? She hallucinates, stops eating and bleeds spontaneously. Is that supposed to convince me she shouldn't be touched. Give me a miracle.
-The father!
-Who is he?
-Why must he be anybody?
-My God, you're as crazy as...
-Stop laughing, I don't say it's the truth, I'm saying...
-How ?
-Don't be ridiculous.
-Well give me a reasonable explanation
-A miracle is an event without an explanation. If she's capable of putting a hole in her hand without benefit of a nail, why couldn't she split a cell in her womb?
-This is insane.
-There as no man in the convent on that night and no way for any man to get in or out.
-But how did it happen?
-You'll never find the answer for everything God did.
-I thought you didn't believe in miracles today Mother?
-But I want the opportunity to believe. I want the choice to believe.
-But what you are choosing to believe is a lie because you won't face the fact that she was raped... or seduced... or that she did the seducing.
-She is an innocent.
-But she is not an enigma Mother. Everything that Agnes has done is explainable from modern psychiatry. One, two, three, right down the line.
-That's what you believe she is? The sum of her psychological parts?
-That's what I have to believe...
-There's a tunnel out of the crypt into the barn. Did you know about that? There's an answer Mother. That's how she got out.
-That's crazy. How could she find out about it?
-Somebody told her.
-Who? That tun... that tunnel hasn't been used in fifty years.
-Oh, would you stop lying Mother!
-Why would I lie?
-Because it's murder we're talking about. Aren't you concerned about what she told us about the other person in her room.
-I'm concerned about her health.
-Who was that person Mother? Was it you?
-This is permission to take her apart.
-Where is she?
-Hasn't she had enough?
-I have a few more questions to ask her.
-Who knew she was pregnant?
-Why do you insist upon pressing...
-Was it you?
-Is it because she's a nun?
-Did you know she was pregnant?
-Yes.
-And you didn't send her to a doctor.
-I didn't guess until it was too late.
-For what? An abortion?
-Oh, don't be ridiculous.
-Too late for what?
-I don't know... too late to stop it.
-The baby?
-The scandal...
-You went to the room to help with the birth.
-She didn't want any help.
-You wanted that child out of the way.
-That's a lie.
-You hid the wastepaper basket in her room.
-I didn't hide it. I put it there for the blood and the dirty sheets.
-And the baby.
-No!
-You tied the cord around its neck.
-I wanted her to have it when no-one else was around, they would have taken the baby to a hospital and left it with them, but it was such a difficult birth, there was so much blood and I panicked.
-Before or after you killed the child?
-I left it with her and I went for help.
-I doubt that's what she'd say.
-That's enough.
-Agnes, what happened to the baby?
-She can't remember.
-Oh, don't do this!
-Of course, John.
-Yes, they were playing the queues outside the picture palaces of Liverpool. Scruffy young lads, lacking even the price of a jam roll. Orphans, every Paddy's son of 'em. I saw their potential at once although I had me doubts about the little fella, a savage primitive, that Ringo, but it was him what gave in first. He picked up a brick and heaved
-The usual ten per cent?
-Oh, not at all, I let them have twenty-five; sure aren't there four of them?
-How fascinating. Do go on ... ... John.
-Lay them down.
-Eh?
-Lay them down.
-We'd be thrown out.
-They're yours.
-They are?
-Here, mate, that's my hoop, stop playing with it.
-Hoop, this isn't a hoop, it's a lethal weapon. Have you got a licence for it?
-Oh don't be so stroppy!
-Well! A boy of your age bowling <U>"hoop"</U> at people. How old are you anyway?
-Nine.
-Bet you're only eight and a half.
-Eight and two thirds.
-Well, there you are and watch it with that hoop.
-Gerron out of it, you're only jealous 'cause you're old.
-Shurrup!
-I bet you're -- sixteen!
-Fifteen and two thirds, actually.
-Well --
-Oh you can have it, I'm packing it in -- it depresses me.
-Y'what?
-You heard, it gets on my wick.
-Well that's lovely talk, that is. And another thing, why aren't you at school?
-I'm a deserter.
-Are you now?
-Yeah, I've blown school out.
-Just you?
-No, Ginger, Eddy Fallon and Ding Dong.
-Ding Dong? Oh Ding Dong Bell, eh?
-Yeah, that's right, they was supposed to come with us but they chickened.
-Yeah? And they're your mates are they?
-Yeah.
-Not much cop without 'em, is it?
-Oh, it's all right.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Ginger's mad, he says things all the time and Eddy's good at punching and spitting.
-How about Ding Dong?
-Why aren't you at work?
-I'm a deserter, too.
-What about all these letters?
-Shurrup!
-Can you fix him for me?
-Yeah.
-The police have the poor unfortunate lad in the Bridewell.
-The police station.
-All right, all right. If you don't need this lot, I'll lock 'em up in the dressing room till you do.
-Sure.
-Well, that's it, two minutes to the final run-through... they're bound to miss it...
-I'll murder that Lennon.
-You don't think...
-They'll be here.
-Boys, you don't know what this means to me. If you hadn't come back it would have been the epilogue or the news in Welsh for life.
-Leave them drums alone.
-Oh, surely one can have a tiny touch.
-If you so much as breathe heavy on them, I'm out on strike.
-Aren't you being rather arbitrary?
-That's right retreat behind a smoke screen of bourgeois cliches. I don't go round messing about with your ear-phones, do I?
-Spoil sport!
-Would you like to be a little more precise, sir?
-Well, that's the wrong line for a start.
-Yeah, you know, "O.K. Buster, follow that car, there's a sawbuck in it for you if you get real close!"
-Ever seen one of these before?
-Ah ... a shamus, eh?
-I see you go to the night court.
-I've made the scene.
-We're nearly there, sir.
-He doesn't like me, honest, I can tell ... It's 'cos I'm little.
-You've got an inferiority complex, you have.
-Are you going in?
-No, she'll only reject me in the end and I'll be frustrated.
-You never know, you might be lucky this time.
-Me? Why?
-I don't snore.
-You do - repeatedly.
-Eh, Ringo, do you know what happened to me?
-Look, I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid there's been some sort of a misunderstanding.
-Oh, you can come off it with us. You don't have to do the old adenoidal glottal stop and carry on for our benefit.
-I'm afraid I don't understand.
-We want you to give us your opinion on some clothes for teenagers.
-Oh, by all means, I'd be quite prepared for that eventuality.
-Well, not your real opinion, naturally. It'll be written out and you'll learn it. Can he read?
-Of course I can.
-I mean lines, ducky, can you handle lines?
-I'll have a bash.
-Good. Hart, get him whatever it is they drink, a cokearama?
-Ta.
-Now, you'll like these. You really "dig" them. They're "fab" and all the other pimply hyperboles.
-I wouldn't be seen dead in them. They're dead grotty.
-Grotty?
-Yeah, grotesque.
-Make a note of that word and give it to Susan. I think it's rather touching really. Here's this kid trying to give me his utterly valueless opinion when I know for a fact within four weeks he'll be suffering from a violent inferiority complex and loss of status if he isn't wearing one of these nasty things. Of course they're grotty, you wretched
-But I won't.
-You can be replaced you know, chicky baby.
-I don't care.
-And that pose is out too, Sunny Jim. The new thing is to care passionately, and be right wing. Anyway, you won't meet Susan if you don't cooperate.
-And who's this Susan when she's at home?
-Only Susan Campey, our resident teenager. You'll have to love her. She's your symbol.
-Oh, you mean that posh bird who gets everything wrong?
-I beg your pardon?
-Oh, yes, the lads frequently gather round the T.V. set to watch her for a giggle. Once we even all sat down and wrote these letters saying how gear she was and all that rubbish.
-She's a trend setter. It's her profession!
-She's a drag. A well-known drag. We turn the sound down on her and say rude things.
-Get him out of here!!
-Have I said something amiss?
-That's not your Grandfather.
-It is, y'know.
-But your Grandfather lives in your house. I've seen him.
-You see, he was going to get married but she threw him over for a butcher.
-A butcher?
-Gerron.
-Aye and we'll have to watch it and all.
-Aye, but don't rush. None of your five bar gate jumps and over sort of stuff.
-Now what's that supposed to mean?
-Did you look in here?
-No. I mean, it's probably a honeymoon couple or a company director or something.
-Sure. .
-What's up?
-Ringo!
-Oh, listen to teacher's pet.
-Eh, I don't know if you realise it, but ...
-We do.
-Yes. Your grandfather's stirred him up.
-He hasn't.
-Yes, he's filled his head with notions seemingly.
-Oh, there you are!
-Oh, I'm sorry, I must have made a mistake.
-You haven't, you're just late. Oh, yes, he's going to be very pleased with you.
-Is he?
-Well ... come on.
-Oh, Paul, you can't have your own way!!!
-Come on, Auntie, you're winning.
-That must have cost you a fortune in stamps, Ringo.
-Should I say it?
-I don't think that bit's right.
-How'd you like a dirty great drum roll giving you a clout right in the middle of your solo?
-It's happened at last, we've become a limited company.
-What are we waiting for?
-Morning! Who's that little old man?
-It's Paul's grandfather.
-No, I didn't you did ...
-Well, what happened?
-Hello, he's not talking to me. He's having a sulk.
-Sorry.
-Oh!
-Well ... go 'head, do the next bit.
-Go away! You've spoilt it.
-Are you supposed to be here?
-I've got you worried, haven't I?
-I'm warning you, they'll be back in a minute.
-D'you know something, "They" don't worry me at all. Anyroad, I only fancy listening to you ... that's all but if it worries you ... well ...
-You're from Liverpool, aren't you?
-How'd you guess?
-Oh, it's the way you talk.
-Is it ... is it, really?
-Are you pulling my leg?
-Something like that.
-I see. Do you like the play?
-Yeah ... I mean, sure, well, I took it at school but I only ever heard boys and masters saying those lines, like, sounds different on a girl. Yeah, it's gear on a girl.
-Gear?
-Aye, the big hammer, smashing!
-Thank you.
-You don't half slam the door in people's faces, do you? I mean, what about when you're playing the part, like, hundreds of people'll see you and ...
-I'm not ...
-Oh, you're the understudy, sort of thing?
-No. I'm a walk-on in a fancy dress scene. I just felt like doing those lines.
-Oh, I see. You are an actress though, aren't you?
-Yes.
-Aye, I knew you were.
-What's that mean?
-Well, the way you were spouting, like .... "I don't believe you, sir..." and all that. Yeah, it was gear.
-The big hammer?
-Oh aye, a sledge.
-But the way you did it then sounded so phony.
-But that's not like a real person at all.
-Aye well, actresses aren't like real people, are they?
-They ought to be.
-Oh, I don't know, anyroad up, they never are, are they?
-What are you?
-I'm in a group ... well ... there are four of us, we play and sing.
-I bet you don't sound like real people.
-We do, you know. We sound like us having a ball. It's fab.
-Is it really fab or are you just saying that to convince yourself?
-... all this and a jam butty too!!
-I only enjoy acting for myself. I hate it when other people are let in.
-Why? I mean, which are you, scared or selfish?
-Why selfish?
-No, hang on, I've not gone daft. You see, when I was little me mother let me make some treacle toffee one time in our back scullery. When I'd done she said to me, "Go and give some to the other kids." So, I said I would but I thought to meself, "She must think I'm soft." Anyroad, I was eating away there but
-Not really but I'm probably not a toffee maker. How would you do those lines of mine?
-Well, look at it this way, I mean, when you come right down to it, that girl, she's a bit of a scrubber, isn't she?
-Is she?
-Of course ... Look, if she was a Liverpool scrubber ... Eh, fella, you want to try pulling the other one, it's got a full set of bells hanging off it ... Y'what? ... I know your sort, two cokes and a packet of cheese and onion crisps and suddenly it's love and we're stopping in an empty shop doorway. You're just after me
-And you honestly think that's what she meant?
-Well, it's nice to know you think we're clever.
-And cunning.
-And what do you do about it?
-Me? Oh, I don't have the time, I'm always running about with the lads ... no, we don't have the time.
-Pity.
-Aye, it is but as long as you get by, it's all right, you know ... bash on, happy valley's when they let you stop. Anyroad, I'd better get back.
-Yes.
-See you.
-Ah.
-Will you ever look at him, sitting there wid his hooter scraping away at that book!
-Well ... what's the matter with that?
-Have you no natural resources of your own? Have they even robbed you of that?
-You can learn from books.
-Can you now? Aah ... sheeps' heads! You learn more by getting out there and living.
-Out where?
-Any old where ... but not our little Richard ... oh no! When you're not thumping them pagan skins, you're tormenting your eyes wid that rubbish!
-Books are good!
-Parading's better!
-Parading?
-That's it, parading the streets ... trailing your coat ... bowling along ... living!
-Well, I <U>am</U> living, aren't I?
-You're living, are you? When was the last time you gave a girl a pink-edged daisy? When did you last embarrass a sheila wid your cool appraising stare?
-Eh ... you're a bit old for that sort of chat, aren't you?
-At least I've a backlog of memories, but all you've got is that book!
-Aaah ... stop picking on me... you're as bad as the rest of them.
-So you <U>are</U> a man after all.
-What's that mean?
-Do you think I haven't noticed ... do you think I wasn't aware of the drift? Oh ... you poor unfortunate scuff, they've driven you into books by their cruel, unnatural treatment, exploiting your good nature.
-Oh ... I dunno.
-And that lot's never happier than when they're jeering at you ... and where would they be without the steady support of your drum beat, I'd like to know.
-Yeah ... that's right.
-And what's it all come to in the end?
-Yeah ... what's in it for me?
-A book!
-When you could be out there betraying a rich American widow or sipping palm wine in Tahiti before you're too old like me. A fine neat and trim lad the class of you should be helping himself to life's goodies before the sands run out. Being an old age pensioner's a terrible drag on a man and every second you waste is bringing you
-Yeah ... funny really, 'cos I'd never thought of it but being middle-aged and old takes up most of your time, doesn't it?
-You're only right.
-Where are you off to?
-Ringo, me old scout, they grabbed yer leg for the iron too, did they?
-Well I'm not exactly a voluntary patient.
-Shush! Have they roughed you up yet?
-What?
-Keep your voice down, this lot'll paste you, just for the exercise. Oh they're a desperate crew of drippings and they've fists like matured hams for pounding defenceless lads like you.
-Have they?
-That sergeant's a body-blow veteran if ever I measured one. One of us has got to escape. I'll get the boys. Hold on son, I'll be back for you.
-Me!
-And if they get you on the floor watch out for your brisket.
-Oh, they seem all right to me.
-What are you doing?
-Lip reading.
-What are they saying?
-Well, you got me here so do your worst but I'll take one of you with me. Oh, I know your game, get me in the tiled room and out come the rubber hoses but I'll defy you still.
-You ugly, great brute you, you have sadism stamped all over your bloated British kisser.
-Eh?
-I'll go on a hunger strike. I know your caper. The kidney punch and the rabbit-clout. The third degree and the size twelve boot ankle-tap.
-What's he on about?
-I'm soldier of the Republic, you'll need the mahogany truncheon for this boyo. A nation once again.
-Would you two like a cup of tea?
-Hello, Grandfather!
-Hello.
-And we're looking after him, are we?
-Come on let's get this coffee.
-That's right; convict without trial ... Habeas corpus.
-That'll keep you busy.
-Stay where you are everybody this is a raid and we want him.
-You see. You know your trouble -- you should have gone West to America. You'd have wound up a Senior Citizen of Boston. As it is you took the wrong turning and what happened, you're a lonely old man from Liverpool.
-Oh no, you're not. You've gone too far this time ... and who's paying for all this?
-It's all taken care of. It's down on our bill.
-And to think me own grandson would have let them put me behind bars!
-All right, how about Ringo? I mean ... he's very upset, you know ... and as far as your girlfriend, little Audrey's concerned, she's finished with men for the rest of her natural, and another thing ...
-A harmless bit of fun, aah, none of you have any sense of humour left these days.
-Oh, it's all right for you but those two girls were scared to death! Honest, Grandad, why? I mean, why do you do these things?
-You're left-handed, aren't you, Paul?
-Yeah ... so what?
-Why do you always use your left hand?
-Well, don't be daft, I've got to.
-With a trombone hooter like yours it'd be unnatural if you didn't.
-Don't mock the afflicted, Pauly.
-Oh for Pete's sake, It's only a joke.
-Anything to spare?
-And another thing, where's that old mixer?
-No, that's his other one.
-That's all right then.
-Clean though, isn't he?
-Is that yours?
-Aye, he looks a right lurker.
-Well, what are we waiting for?
-What are you doing there?
-Hiding.
-Eh ... pardon me for asking but who's that little old man?
-What little old man?
-That little old man.
-How d'you reckon that one out?
-Well ... everyone's entitled to two, aren't they, and this is me other one.
-Well we know that but what's he doing here?
-Aye and fond of fresh meat and all.
-No ... it was his sweetbreads. She was dead kinky for sweetbreads. Anyroad, me mother thought it'ud give him a change of scenery, like.
-Eh, he's a nice old man, isn't he?
-Aye, that's what I'm afraid of!
-He's got you worried, then?
-Gie's a kiss!
-Give 'em a pull.
-I hope he fell off.
-We've broken out, oh, the blessed freedom of it all! Eh, have you got a nail file, these handcuffs are killing me. I was framed. I was innocent.
-Don't worry, son, we'll get you the best lawyer trading stamps can buy.
-Gaw, it's depressing in here, isn't it? Funny... 'cos they usually reckon dogs more than people in England, don't they? You'd expect something a little more palatial. Come on. Let's have a little action. Let's do something, then.
-Like what?
-Let's go and muck in.
-You won't interfere with the basic rugged concept of my personality, will you, girl?
-Behave...
-What's he know?
-She's going to show me her stamp collection.
-We've got only half an hour till the final run-through. He can't walk out on us.
-Well, I got a few things to say to you, two-faced John McCartney.
-Aw, leave him alone Paul, he's back, isn't he? And it's not his fault he's old.
-What's old got to do with it?
-You needn't bother.
-Y'what?
-Practising to be thick-headed, you're there already.
-Look he's a mixer and a trouble maker!
-Are you listening to me, Lennon?
-If you're going to have a barney I'll hold your coats.
-Eh, have you got Paul's grandfather?
-Of course, he's concealed about me person.
-Don't move, any of you. They've gone potty out there. The whole place is surging with girls.
-Please, can I have one to surge with?
-No.
-Ah, go on, you swine.
-Paul, John, George - get at it.
-Oh, it's got round that you're a heavy punter.
-I'll brook no denial!
-It's all right for you, you couldn't get a pen in your foot, you swine.
-Now get on with it.
-We were going to do it.
-Will you all stop it, you're like a gang of school kids. I knew this was going to happen one day.
-Let's have you.
-Don't cane me, sir, I was led astray.
-Leave him alone, he's got swine fever.
-Leave him alone, Lennon, or I'll tell them all the truth about you.
-You wouldn't!
-They're nearly ready for you. They're just finishing the band call.
-John, I'm talking to you. This final run through is <U>important</U>. Understand? Important.
-Hi Norm!
-Control yourself or you'll spurt. He's bound to be somewhere.
-The office was on the phone, they think it'd be better if we pushed straight to Wolverhampton.
-Tonight? We can't make it ...
-You've got a midnight matinee.
-Now, look here, Norm ...
-No, you look here, John. I've only one thing to say to you.
-What?
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Oh, wait a minute, don't tell me you're ...
-No, not me.
-Oh you are, I know you are.
-No, I'm not.
-You are.
-I'm not, no.
-Well, you look like him.
-Oh do I? You're the first one who ever said that.
-My eyes are lighter.
-Oh yes.
-And my nose...
-Well, yes your nose is. Very.
-Is it?
-I would have said so.
-Aye, but you know him well.
-No I don't, he's only a casual acquaintance.
-That's what you tell me.
-What have you heard?
-It's all over the place, everyone knows.
-Is it? Is it really?
-Mind you, I stood up for you, I mean I wouldn't have it.
-I knew I could rely on you.
-You're a window rattler, son.
-It'll only get you into trouble.
-He's betrayed the class.
-Oh, leave off!!!
-Temper! Temper!
-That's right. It's always me, isn't it?
-Well!
-Well, look after him. I don't want to find you've lost him.
-And?
-Your Grandfather pointed out Shake was always being taller than me just to spite me.
-I knew it, <U>he</U> started it, I should have known.
-Y'what?
-Have <U>you</U> lost him?
-Don't exaggerate.
-Eh, where's my grandfather?
-Don't worry about him. He can look after himself.
-I've got the stuff. Come here.
-Aren't we ...
-Where's my grandfather?
-He belongs to Paul.
-None for me, then?
-That's mine.
-Well ...
-Oh dear, I feel like doing a bit of work.
-Stop picking on him.
-What do you think are you're up to?
-Look after him.
-But...
-Do I have to raise me voice?
-Yeah, you want to watch it.
-It's not my fault.
-Well, you stick to that story, son.
-I'm sorry Norm, but I can't help being taller than you.
-He's been gone a long time.
-Who?
-Paul's grandfather.
-Oh, I didn't notice, where'd he go?
-Down the ... er ...
-Oh, down the ... er ...?
-Yeah, down the ... er ...
-Oh they've probably gone to the canteen, cup of tea, like.
-He's out there somewhere, causing trouble just to upset me.
-You're imagining it. You're letting things prey on your mind.
-Oh no... this is a battle of nerves between John and me.
-But John hasn't got any.
-What?
-Nerves.
-I'm adjusting the decibels on the inbalance.
-... as they head up for the show. Oh yes, well I mean it'ud be a pity to miss the show, wouldn't it like.
-How's that?
-Course he can talk. He's a human being, like. Isn't he?
-"The Management of Boyd's takes pleasure in requesting the company of Mr. Richard Starkey, that's you, in their recently refinished gaming rooms. Chemin de Fer. Baccarat, Roulette, and Champagne Buffet." Blimey!
-Oh, he's gone to my club, has he?
-What's the matter with you? You were bashing away like a madman.
-Eh. I thought you were looking after the old man.
-Put it this way, he's mislaid him.
-You can't trust you with anything, Norm, if you've lost him, I'll cripple you.
-Eh, what's all this?
-Shove the gentleman jockey in the make-up room or something and keep your eye on him, will you?
-I'm an electrician, not a wet nurse, y'know.
-I'll set John on you!
-What is he?
-I've got a little list here. Wandering abroad. Malicious intent. Acting in a suspicious manner. Conduct liable to cause a breach of the peace. You name it, he's done it.
-Oh, a little savage, is he?
-So you just brought the old chap out of the crowd for his own good.
-Yeah, but he insisted on us bringing him to the station.
-Oh... God... am I cold...
-Is that you, Roby?
-I feel like shit...
-I'm going to buy a cattle ranch.
-Cattle ranch!
-If there is some kind of alien intelligence down on that planetoid, it'd be a serious mistake for us to blunder in unequipped.
-Hell, we're equipped --
-Locked.
-Engines off.
-Good! Maybe we'll be able to see something then.
-There could be a whole city out there and we'd never see it.
-Are you in pain?
-Dell, what's the last thing you can remember?
-... I don't know...
-Do you remember the pyramid?
-Where's Irth?
-I don't recognize that constellation.
-I got it. Oh boy.
-Where the hell are we?
-Can you get it a little closer?
-Any rotation?
-Yeah. Two hours.
-Gravity?
-Except it will take 75 years to get a reply back. Don't forget how far we are from the Colonies, Martin.
-Dell, I want greater magnification. More surface detail. I want to see what this place looks like.
-Activate lifter quads.
-Approaching point of origin. Closing at 20 kilometers, 15 and slowing. Ten. Five. Gentlemen, we are directly above the source of the transmission.
-What's the terrain down there?
-Well, line of sight is impossible due to dust. Radar gives me noise. Sonar gives me noise. Infrared -- noise. Let's try ultraviolet. There. Flat. It's totally flat. A plain.
-Is it solid?
-It's... basalt. Rock.
-Then take her down.
-Close enough to walk to!
-I'm sending. Do you hear me?
-Appears to be a door hanging open, the entrance is clogged with debris.
-Looks like a derelict.
-I'll go first.
-Just machinery.
-This is Chaz.
-Chaz, this is Dell. Can you come topside for a minute?
-What's up?
-Well, the sun just came up again, and it seems the wind's died down. It's as clear as a bell outside. There's something I think you ought to see.
-What is it?
-I was scanning the horizon to see what I could pick up. Look there, on that screen.
-Maybe we can get in by the top.
-You want to try?
-Can we come up?
-No, it's too small, only room enough for one person.
-Dell, you want to come down, we can figure out where to go from here.
-Okay, I'm in the mouth of the chimney now, and I'm starting down.
-Are you okay in there?
-Yeah, I'm okay. Haven't hit bottom yet. Definitely a column of warm air rising; it keeps the shaft clear of dust.
-What was that Dell, I lost you, do you read me?
-How do you feel, Dell?
-Wretched. What happened to me?
-Don't you remember?
-Hell, you're in great shape, you've got your sense of humor back!
-I'm really starving; can we get some food before we go into the freezers?
-What's wrong?
-Breathe deeply.
-Computer, this is Captain Standard. What conditions are you talking about?
-I have intercepted a transmission of unknown origin.
-A transmission?
-I have recorded the transmission.
-Computer, what language was that?
-Just <u>hold it</u>, <u>hold it</u>! Computer: have you attempted to analyze the transmission?
-I have interrupted the course of the voyage.
-What? <u>Why</u>?
-Unknown! What do you mean?
-Yes!
-I have a temporary sequence on the monitor --
-Computer! I've turned all the cooling units back on! What's wrong?
-Just a minute, hold it, I'm checking.
-How long to fix?
-Hard to say.
-Well, get started.
-Hello, Faust!
-Yeah!
-<u>He</u> died.
-What?
-Sorry to interrupt, but I'm gonna charge up the engines for a minute, okay?
-Yes? What is it?
-Jay, we've got a problem. I was wondering if there was any way you could shortcut the repairs and give us immediate takeoff capability.
-Why, what's wrong?
-The computer's translated the alien signal, and it's kind of alarming.
-What do you mean?
-You like this shit?
-It grows on you.
-You know what they make this stuff out of?
-Yes, I know what they make it out of, so what? It's food now. <u>You're</u> eating it.
-But we can't kill it. If we kill it, it will spill all its body acids right through our hull and out into space.
-We could cut a section out of that metallite netting. It won't hold up to that acid, but aside from that it's pretty strong.
-Where's it coming from?
-Okay.
-What happened to the lights?
-Where does that go?
-What happened? Where's Sandy?
-Dead.
-Dead!
-It's monstrous -- it grew, like some horrible tapeworm. We were completely unprepared.
-What the hell's going on?
-Don't know -- Broussard got hurt somehow.
-Hurt! How?
-Oh -- God -- oh --
-Boy do I feel a lot better. It's a straight shot back to the Colonies, and then we can start taking bids on the paydirt. Any bets on the top bid?
-Oh, no. Oh, no.
-And then we run out of food and oxygen.
-That one section of the ventilator shaft has only two outlets -- you notice? The food storage room on one end --
-Well, uh... good luck. I hope you won't need me, but if you do, I'm here.
-Martin, this is Jay. The intakes are clogged with dust. We overheated and burned out a whole cell.
-Jay... how's it coming on the repairs?
-Well... I'm going to have to blow the engines out...
-And when will you be ready to do that?
-Oh -- I'm not near ready yet.
-Then why the hell are you sitting around here?
-It's really on there tight.
-Hey, guess what?
-What?
-This dust is getting clogged in the intakes again!
-Oh it's okay. I've had better cag than this, but I've had worse too, if you know what I mean.
-So does anybody have any suggestions?
-We could put on our pressure suits and blow all the air out of the ship. That would kill it.
-Might even incinerate the damn thing.
-It's clear.
-It looks completely different from the first one -- it's more like a worm with legs... and tentacles.
-So it's trapped in between -- now we have to drive it out.
-Hey, are you guys still there? What's going on?
-Meet us on the bridge. Be careful -- it's <u>huge</u> now.
-There's some more combustible fuel down in the storage lockers next to the lounge. I'll go get it.
-No, I don't want us separated.
-All right... but do <u>not</u> go below decks.
-Right.
-He wouldn't open the lock; he was going to leave us out there.
-Where did it come from?
-<u>He's</u> the only one that knows that.
-Blood's thoroughly oxygenated.
-We can't expect to understand a life form like this. We're out of our back yard. Things are different here.
-Well, can't we kill it? I mean, we can't leave the damn thing on him.
-We don't know what might happen if we tried to kill it. At least right now it's keeping him alive.
-God, that smoke's poisonous!
-I never saw anything like that in my life... except molecular acid.
-But this thing uses it for <u>blood</u>.
-It makes me sick to see him like that.
-It's a crude symbolic language -- looks primitive.
-We can't go into hypersleep with that thing running around loose.
-It's over, Hunter.
-Boy, that's terrific.
-That thing, God almighty, didn't you try to get it off him?
-Hey now, what is this?
-There. Should be coming through about there.
-I'll do it. The rest of you continue.
-You know, it's fantastic -- the human race has gone this long without ever encountering another advanced life form, and now we run into a veritable zoo.
-What do you mean?
-Well, those things out there aren't the same, you know -- the spaceship and the pyramid. They're from different cultures and different races. That ship just landed here -- crashed like we did. The pyramid and the thing from it are indigenous.
-How could anything be indigenous to this asteroid? It's dead.
-Now we're in for it.
-No, don't open the door. We don't want it escaping.
-Well, what the hell good can we do in here? We can't grab it -- it might jump on us --
-Yes?
-How's Broussard?
-He's running a fever.
-Still unconscious?
-Yes.
-Can you do anything for him?
-The machine will bring his temperature down. His vital functions are strong.
-I think I could cobble something together. A long metal rod with a battery in it. Give it a hell of a shock.
-Don't worry, it won't damage it, it'll just give it a little incentive.
-Maybe we don't have to. It's trapped in there. We could just leave it in there all the way back to Irth.
-We can't pump poison gas down into the cooling unit! It'll flood the whole ship!
-While the rest of us wait down in the cooling unit with the net.
-Sounds like a rough one.
-We'd better seal off the lower maintenance level; at least trap it there.
-Listen, it sure didn't like this flamethrower.
-That's right -- we can't kill it on the ship, but we can at least keep it at bay -- and maybe drive it into the air lock.
-We've got six hours left.
-Oh my God.
-Oh no! We can't fight this thing! There's only six hours of air left -- we're dead men!
-I don't buy that. There's still time to destroy it and get ourselves in the freezers.
-<u>How</u>?
-If we could just get the <u>creature</u> into the lifeboat, we could launch it into space and blow it up.
-Good! That's good!
-You can't say that; I think it's a good plan.
-The flamethrower needs more fuel.
-The ship's gravitational attraction must have drawn him back.
-Should we go outside and bring him in?
-It will be.
-Well... now we have to herd that thing up here.
-It must have stopped moving. I'm not getting anything.
-The flamethrower!
-Now what's wrong?
-I've completely lost their signal.
-Can you get them back?
-What? What was that?
-I'm getting nowhere. The whole area around the pyramid is dead to transmission. I think we should go after them.
-No.
-What do you mean, no?
-We're not going anywhere.
-But they don't know about the translation! They could be in danger right now.
-We can't spare the personnel. We've got minimum takeoff capability right now. That's why Chaz left us on board.
-Why, you chickenshit bastard --
-I've got 'em! They're back on my screens!
-How many?
-Oh no.
-I keep my mouth pretty much shut, but I don't like hitting.
-Look at that.
-What is it -- I can't tell anything --
-It's some kind of organ -- it's inserted some kind of tube or something down his throat.
-I think that's how it's getting oxygen to him.
-What's happening up here?
-This is horrible.
-That must have been when he got it.
-What common objects?
-You mean his body was still kicking when it ran off with him?
-Don't count on it.
-Recognizable! In that?
-In symbolic form... very stylized... but if you stare at it, you can see some of the different creatures we've been dealing with.
-Well... I suppose that star-shaped thing could be the parasite that got on Broussard. Is that what you mean?
-... And Broussard got caught in their reproductive cycle.
-We can't kill it on board. It's huge now and must have tremendous amounts of that acid in its body.
-Blow the ship up?
-What about all the minerals and elements in the cargo hold? That's the only reason we came out here. We'd have to abandon them all. We'd be broke.
-I think it's going to be almost impossible to drive it up into the lifeboat.
-We can use the flamethrower.
-This should do it.
-Isn't "bait" the word you used?
-Just keep your finger off the button till she's way away from the ship, that's all.
-Is it armed?
-If you press the button right now, it will blow the whole nose of the ship off.
-Sandy, you want to give us some vision?
-First contact...
-Sandy, can you home in on that beam?
-What's the frequency?
-I've got it. It's coming from ascension 6 minutes 32 seconds, declination -39 degrees 2 seconds.
-Well, we can't go anywhere in this darkness. How long till dawn?
-Just settle down. Sandy, you get any response yet?
-Receiving.
-That way.
-What's wrong?
-It's close, real close.
-How far?
-Air lock?
-Doesn't seem much doubt about it, does there?
-This looks ancient.
-What'd he say?
-If we don't hear from him soon, I think we better go in after him.
-Here's his line. We can haul him out of there if we have to.
-It'll yank him right off his feet if he's not expecting it. The line could get tangled in something.
-But what can we do? He's out of radio contact.
-There, it caught!
-Is it still coming up, or is it hooked on something?
-No, it's coming.
-<u>What is it</u>?
-Oh God, oh God no.
-It won't come -- it's stuck.
-What is it?
-It's not coming off -- not without his whole face coming off too.
-It's stopped?
-Yes, thank heaven.
-We're just plain lucky. That could have gone right through the hull -- taken <u>weeks</u> to patch it.
-No, thank God... just missed him.
-Is it still dripping?
-That sounds a little fanciful...
-Too primitive. It's a pre- technological construction. That slab was engineered by an Iron-Age culture at best.
-We're going home. We're in hyperspace.
-I'm going to write a book about this expedition. I'm going to call it "The Snark Log."
-The commander normally has first publication rights.
-We'll have to catch it and eject it from the ship.
-Well, I kind of hate to point it out, but all our supplies are based on us spending a strictly limited amount of time out of suspended animation... and as you know, we used up most of that time in harvesting.
-How?
-And what do we do when we find it?
-I thought I'd find you here.
-I was thinking of a line from an old poem: "Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink." All that space out there, and we're trapped in this ship.
-That's the one about the albatross, right?
-We can't even radio for help; the carrier wave wouldn't reach its destination till long after we'd died and turned to dust. We are utterly, absolutely alone. Can anybody really visualize such a scale of distances? Halfway across Creation...
-We came out there, we'll go back. A long time by the clock, but a short time to us.
-Time and space have no meaning out here. We're living in Einsteinian equation.
-I can see you're putting your spare time to good use. Let me tell you something: you keep staring at hyperspace for long enough, they'll be peeling you off a wall. I've seen it happen.
-We're the new pioneers, Chaz. We even have our own special diseases.
-I've got Hunter... and something else as well, in front of him.
-Are they close?
-They're on the next level up.
-They're getting pretty close now.
-All right, then -- when it gets to the other side of the door, you sing out, then drop the door. Okay?
-Okay.
-Men have waited centuries to contact another form of intelligent life in the universe. This is an opportunity which may never come again.
-My God, it's stormy for a piece of rock that size!
-Source of transmission is to the northeast... about 300 meters.
-It appears to be a heavy fluid of some sort... it blocks the X-rays...
-That tube must be depositing it in him.
-These day and night cycles are totally disorienting. I feel like we've been here for days, but it's only been how long?
-We do know that.
-Yeah?
-No. It's just too small to support fauna as big as the parasites. If there were a native ecology, it would have to be microscopic.
-First thing I'm going to do when we get back is eat some biological food.
-What's the matter, you don't like this stuff?
-All right, tycoons, let's stop spending our credit and start worrying about the job at hand.
-Where are we?
-This is Chaz speaking. Sorry, but we are not home. Our present location seems to be only halfway to Irth. Remain at your posts and stand by. That is all.
-Chaz, I've got something here on my security alert. A high priority from the computer...
-Let's hear it.
-Oh my God.
-It's out of focus.
-Atmospheric turbulence. Dust storm.
-What the hell happened?
-Yeah, okay.
-10% argon, 85% nitrogen, 5% neon... and some trace elements.
-Nontoxic... but unbreathable. Pressure?
-Ten to the fourth dynes per square centimeter.
-Good! Moisture content?
-Zero. Dry as a bone.
-Any microorganisms?
-Not a one. It's dead.
-Anything else?
-Yeah, rock particles. Dust.
-Okay, Chaz, I hear you. I've got you on my board.
-Martin, uh, we've found it.
-Found what?
-Martin?
-I agree. This is the single most important discovery in history.
-But?
-Find anything we missed?
-I don't even know what I'm looking for.
-Still worried?
-Oh well... you know me.
-What would you say that was supposed to mean?
-Well... it's obviously intentional... some kind of attempt at communication... maybe it's a symbol that means something to them...
-This ship is full of cat hair.
-Hey, can you guys hear me?
-Yeah, we hear you! We're coming back!
-Thank Christ! We lost you! Listen, there's been a new development --
-Here, Chaz.
-We're coming up now, open the outer lock door.
-Chaz -- what happened to Broussard?
-You hear me, Martin? Open the outer door.
-Chaz, if it's an organism, and we let it in, the ship will be infected.
-We can't leave him out here, open the door.
-Chaz, listen to me -- we've broken every rule of quarantine. If we bring an organism on board, we won't have a single layer of defense left.
-I understand why you did that.
-Would somebody fill me in?
-What film?
-Look at these suckers -- no wonder we couldn't get it off him.
-I'm sorry to say it looks like you were right in the first place, Martin. We never should have landed here.
-Look, I'm not trying to rub anybody's nose in anything. The important thing is just to get away from here as fast as possible.
-I can't lean on Faust any harder -- he's been working non-stop on the engines.
-Where did the parasites come from?
-Take us up.
-Engaged.
-We made it! Damn, we made it!
-You bet we made it. Martin, set course for Irth and accelerate us into stardrive.
-That's the part that always makes me feel like I'm gonna puke -- when we accelerate into light speed.
-I think the best thing to do with Broussard is to just freeze him as he is. It'll arrest the progress of his disease, and he can get complete medical attention when we get back to the Colonies.
-We'll have to go into quarantine, maybe for quite a while.
-We won't need it then.
-All right, so that's what we've got. A week. It's plenty of time.
-These will be very useful. At least we won't have to go digging around in closets with our bare hands. All right, here's the battle plan: we're going to break into two teams and start systematically covering the ship. Whoever finds it first, catches it in the net and ejects it from the nearest airlock. Clear?
-Yes!
-We've got it up here! It's trapped! Get up here fast!
-Where are you?
-Food-storage room!
-What's it doing, having a seizure?
-It started crashing around right after we locked it in.
-Now what?
-Hey, wait a minute! That's all our food supplies in there! We can't pump poison gas all over them!
-Once we kill the thing we won't need the food any more -- we can go straight into hypersleep. Also, it sounds like that thing is already doing a pretty good job on our supplies; it may be fouling them all.
-This stuff's deadly -- I hope we know what we're doing.
-Now what?
-Are you <u>crazy</u>?
-So the only question left is: who gets to crawl down the airshaft?
-That's a flip-flop gate to channel the air, but we can use it to trap the thing.
-How did it get so <u>big</u>?
-Two down, four to go.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Can you make out any pattern in all that?
-Well... yes... there's a pattern... but it's meaningless to me.
-That next thing there -- six legs, tentacles -- that's the thing we saw in the food locker.
-This is all the same creature. We're seeing the different stages in its life-cycle.
-Which presumably means...
-I saw it. Faust got himself jammed in the air lock door. His body held it open.
-Can we get to him?
-Poor kitty; puss puss puss.
-At least we're rid of the damn monster. It must have been the first thing sucked out of the ship.
-It was time for that a couple days ago.
-Let's hear it.
-Okay. First we shut down all the cooling systems on the stardrive engines.
-That'll blow the ship up.
-But the lifeboat can't accelerate to light speed.
-No, it won't work and I just realized why. There's only one hypersleep freezer on the lifeboat. Only one of us could survive.
-Yeah... I forgot.
-You know, it's funny -- this stuff we went to so much trouble to dig up -- this treasure, the paydirt -- it'll make it back to Irth just fine -- even if we're not with it.
-<u>Hey watch it</u>!
-So what do we do? Do we ignore it and finish loading the explosives into the boat -- or do we flush it out now?
-Yes, and maybe launch the boat and blow it too... if the others are injured.
-All right, Martin, we'll be in touch with you on the communicator.
-And you'll let me know when you've got it coming this way...
-And you stand aside while we drive it in, then shut the hatch, launch the boat, and --
-Kill me...
-What did it do to you?
-That was Melkonis... it ate Hunter...
-I'll get you out of there.
-No... don't...
-But I can save you -- get you to the Autodoc!
-No good... it's eaten too much of me...
-What can I do?
-Headache? Dehydration?
-The head's okay, but I could sink a six-pack.
-Can I... um... have some water? Please?
-What is it?
-It's nothing, Doc. Just a... touch of indigestion... something.
-Better?
-Me either. I tell you, I used to be with a mining outfit on Callisto, and when something like that hits... believe me, you know about it.
-Nada. No radiation... no movement... nothing.
-It's a rhino.
-Is it dead?
-Yeah, it's fine.
-God, I hope that thing didn't bring down a virus.
-Looks like a spore. Fungus of some kind, maybe?
-Let's get back and call this in.
-Nice howitzer you've got there.
-Thanks.
-Good argument for gun-control. What are you going after, rhino?
-We've got no option. We're gonna have to get it off.
-Minh...
-That's the second time I ran it, and it still reads the same.
-A pair of incomings. They popped-up on the medium-range about thirteen twenty-four local time.
-We figured on it being a magnetic anomaly, but we ran a back-trace just to make sure.
-Can you patch me a temporary loop on DCMGS?
-What do you need?
-A three-second burn to port, on my mark.
-Seal everything now!
-What's happening?
-Cassie, thank Christ! We're under attack.
-How many of them are there?
-Give or take.
-Are you alright?
-Where is she?
-Comin' up the Central Reservoir.
-I found it...
-And?
-Drains right into the Central Reservoir.
-I can't reach her. Too much signal break-up.
-MarsCo went belly-up on the Dow Jones.
-Shit. When?
-Fucking great. I invested some money in them.
-You win some, you loose some.
-I lose 'em all, that's why I'm still out here on this rock. Anything else you wanna ruin my day with?
-Curious thing is, the mass detector says they're too small to carry a deep-space drive.
-Where're they headed?
-When?
-Seven minutes ago, the third course change in an hour. Those incomings are going to skim past the communications platform just a little too close for comfort.
-Picking up velocity.
-What's going on?
-The door's sealed from inside. Doc Revna's in there, and it sounds like Ackland's going nuts.
-It's too late!
-Unconfirmed reports of eighteen or so far, but the numbers are all over the place.
-Auto-shop's sealed, but those boys are cut-off.
-Has anybody talked to them?
-Not yet.
-Oh, man...
-How much air-time have I got?
-About thirty minutes. Those are slimmed-down tanks, so no stopping to admire the scenery.
-Deal.
-If I can get to the chopper, I'll meet you at the rendezvous. Don't wait for me.
-C'mon, man. One more sweep.
-One more sweep... one more sweep. I'm getting tired of one more fuckin' sweep. We're been lookin' for this thing for three days now, and found zip.
-Ah, quit griping. Keeps you in shape doesn't it?
-Listen to what?
-De Vries?
-Yeah?
-Something spooking the rhinos?
-Hey, Guttierez?
-What?
-One of 'em must have escaped.
-There's no way a rhino'd survive that drop.
-Goldsmith's gonna be plenty pissed at losing one of her babies.
-Whoa, wait a minute...
-What?
-What? Are you nuts? Just the two of us?
-I've seen this mother, De Vries. We can bag it, no problem.
-Forget it, man.
-C'mon De Vries. Think of the bonus.
-What the hell are you doing?
-Alright, okay. Look...
-What?
-But I'm going first...
-Careful of that edging there...
-Still got him?
-Hold it, hold it...
-What's wrong?
-What? Where?
-Can't see a thing. Are you sure?
-Wait. Lost it.
-How?
-Oh, man. That's no glitch!
-It's alright, it's cool...
-Is it still moving?
-Move it baby, or they're gonna be chewin' on my cojones!
-Miss Noguchi! You're wanted in admin.
-What happened?
-Secondary fluidic shunt for the sewage system. I found the grating ripped right off. The little fucker was strong.
-Nobody wander off on their own until it's found. Keep in pairs. Diller, once the first team's done their sweep I want you to go down with Annie to Three-Pump while she replaces it.
-Okay.
-Shit! Our armory's a big blue box from the back shelf of stores. We got about two clips left for an autoloader, and that's it.
-That sounds promising. Can we operate the crane from here?
-Nah. It's got programmable facilities, but it was never rigged for remote operation. Someone'd have to go up to the cab to get it up and running.
-Is this the suit?
-Yeah, I stripped down a motion tracker and hardwired it through to the helmet pick-ups, too. That's also on the display.
-We had to. They were just too cumbersome for some of the conduits you're gonna have to negotiate. Besides, all the crap floating around reduces visibility to the extent where I doubt having helmet lights would have make that much difference, anyway. Maintenance lights down there oughta be enough to do the trick.
-Hey, Jan. See if you can get someone to check out the chopper.
-What's the problem?
-She was running a little sluggish on the way back. Think the turbines might be playing up.
-Give me twenty minutes and I'll do it myself.
-And...?
-That's what we thought.
-Have you got an updated Lloyds' Almanac to cross-reff them through?
-Fort Powell. What do we tell 'em?
-Already working on it.
-They've changed their heading again.
-Compensate!
-It left a melted trail on the deck all the way down to here...
-Central Pumping. All the waste gets treated, broken-down, and flushed out into the swamp. If it wanted a quick exit then it really lucked- out.
-Everything on this module is locked and sealed. We've lost 'B', 'C', and 'E' wings, but 'E' was the only one we didn't manage to totally evacuate.
-They knocked out the external feeds.
-Communications to auto-shop go through an F.O. link off the main trunk. That's down with the other feeds.
-It's not all good news. We had to take off the helmet lights. You'll be going in blind.
-There's still time to back-out.
-Thanks.
-Let's just run through it one more time so I know you've got it straight.
-Sorry. Two green enabling buttons...
-Okay, we're in business.
-Okay, I'm out of here!
-See that sheathing on the suspension? Eaten away. Same thing with the pumps on the base air purifiers. The algae out here just isn't good on these new plastics.
-Hey, boss. Wondered where you'd gotten to.
-I just... wanted to be put on my own for a while. Clear my head.
-I've got a lot of thinking to do. 'Sides, the room was getting too crowded for me.
-Not too much of the socializing type, then?
-I'm serious. That's why I switched from orbiting to planetary installations.
-Is that a fact.
-Uh-huh. Used to get it pretty bad. I'd wake up in a cold sweat and want to claw open a vacuum hatch.
-How long you been out here for now, anyway? Three months?
-Four.
-And before that?
-Six month stint on Datus.
-Only six?
-What is this? 'Twenty Questions'?
-What is that?
-Seltzer?
-Any luck raising Ackland's party?
-Nothing. With the satellite down, we can't transmit over the mountain range. He's most likely sitting there wondering why he can't raise us.
-First light, we'll take a chopper out there and tell them to head back.
-'We'? You wanna fly out there with me?
-Don't worry about it. If the Network goes by the book, like everyone figures they will, a Marine gunboat from Powell'll drop-by for a look- see in four-or-five days. They can go poke around out there and find whatever it was hit us. All we've gotta do is sit tight.
-Do you think Ackland'll sit tight?
-Yeah. Somebody won.
-I've found Ackland!
-I'm going to need you to co-sign the report. Until we come up with something, this'll be treated as first degree murder.
-Agreed.
-When we get the link back, and I send this in, I.C.C.'ll throw a fit.
-Ah, don't worry about I.C.C. They're the least of your problems right now.
-Think I spoke too soon...
-Do you believe him?
-Cornering it shouldn't be a problem. Each part of this station is basically a self-sufficient deep-space transport module running off external couplers. If we disconnect them and seal off every section, we've got a ceiling of about thirty-six hours on internal power. That should give us ample time to find it.
-So, what do you think?
-What?
-That's the wrong way!
-Hurry it up.
-They...they snapped my legs to fit... fit me in here. I don't...remember what happened next.
-What can I do?
-I can... feel it moving around inside me. You've got to kill me.
-I... I can't!
-You have to...
-Where'd you leave them?
-Jesus.
-Yeah, exactly. Those're pre-programmed course adjustments you're looking at.
-How's it going?
-Today's party's finished their sweep, the relief team's out there now. Everybody else is either asleep or running shift in the auto-shop.
-You should hit the sack, too.
-Nah, I'll stick it out for another hour or so.
-What time's sundown?
-'Bout five minutes.
-Give me a yell is something happens.
-Hello, there. Who are you?
-Miss Harrington's resting, Mr. deWitt. She asked me to see who it is...
-How do you know my name?
-It's a very famous name, Mr. deWitt.
-And what is your name?
-Phoebe.
-Phoebe?
-I call myself Phoebe.
-May I come in?
-Certainly, Mr. deWitt...
-I expected to find this little room overcrowded, with a theater full of people at your feet...
-Of course your performance was no surprise to me. After the other day I regarded it as no more than - a promised fulfilled.
-You're more than kind. But it's still Miss Channing's performance. I'm just a carbon copy you read when you can't find the original...
-You're more than modest.
-It's not modesty. I just don't try to kid myself.
-A revolutionary approach to the Theater. However, if I may a suggestion...
-Please do.
-I think the time has come for you to shed some of your humility. It is just as false not to blow your horn at all as it is to blow it too loudly...
-I don't think I've done anything to sound off about.
-We all come into this world with our little egos equipped with individual horns. If we don't blow them - who will?
-Even so. One isolated pretty good performance by an understudy. It'll be forgotten tomorrow.
-It needn't be.
-Even if I wanted to - as you say - be less humble, blow my own horn... how would I do it? I'm less than nobody.
-After you change, if you're not busy elsewhere, we can have supper.
-I'd love to! Or should I pretend I'm busy?
-Let's have a minimum of pretending. I'll want to do a column about you-
-I'm not enough for a paragraph.
-- perhaps more than one. There's so much I want to know. I've heard your story in bits and pieces... your home in Wisconsin, your tragic marriage, your financial attachment to Margo - it started in San Francisco, didn't it? I say - your idolatry of Margo started in San Francisco, didn't it?
-That's right.
-San Francisco. An oasis of civilization in the California desert. Tell me, do you share my high opinion of San Francisco?
-Yes. I do.
-And that memorable night when Margo first dazzled you from the stage - which theater was it in San Francisco? Was it - the Shubert?
-Yes. The Shubert.
-A fine old theater, the Shubert. Full of tradition, untouched by the earthquake - so sorry - fire... by the way, what was your husband's name?
-Eddie...
-I'm about to go into the shower, I won't be able to hear you...
-I can wait. Where would you like to go? We'll make this a special night...
-You take charge.
-Hungry?
-Just some coffee.
-I'm not surprised. After all that humble pie...
-Nothing of the kind. Karen and I had a nice talk.
-Heart to heart? Woman to woman? Including a casual reference to the part of "Cora" - and your hopes of playing it.
-I discussed it very openly. I told her that I had spoken to Lloyd - and that he was interested.
-She mentioned, of course, that Margo expects to play the part?
-Just like that, eh?
-Just like that.
-I don't think that's funny.
-It wasn't meant to be.
-I confide in you and rely on you more than anyone I've ever known! To say a thing like that now - without any reason - when I need you more than ever...
-What a day - what a heavenly day...
-D-day.
-Just like it.
-And tomorrow morning you will have won your beachhead on the shores of Immortality...
-Stop rehearsing your column... Isn't it strange, Addison? I thought I'd be panic-stricken, want to run away or something. Instead, I can't wait for tonight to come. To come and go...
-Are you that sure of tomorrow?
-Aren't you?
-It'll be a night to remember. It'll bring to me everything I've ever wanted. The end of an old road - and the beginning of a new one...
-All paved with diamonds and gold?
-You know me better than that.
-Paved with what, then?
-What time?
-Almost four.
-Plenty of time for a nice long nap - we rehearsed most of last night...
-You could sleep, too, couldn't you?
-The mark of a true killer. Sleep tight, rest easy - and come out fighting...
-Why'd call me a killer?
-Suites are for expense accounts. Aren't you being extravagant?
-Also with the reluctant compliments of Max Fabian.
-Lloyd. I never have any, and he likes a couple of drinks after we finish - so he sent it up...
-Some plain soda. Lloyd must be expecting a record run in New Haven...
-That's for tonight. You're invited. We're having everyone up after the performance.
-We're?
-Addison...
-She's always been so fantastically devoted to Lloyd. I would imagine that only death or destruction could keep her-
-Addison, just a few minutes ago. When I told you this would be a night to remember - that it would bring me everything I wanted-
-- something about an old road ending and a new one starting - paved with stars...
-I didn't mean just the Theater.
-So that's it. Lloyd. Still just the Theater, after all...
-It's nothing of the kind! Lloyd loves me, I love him!
-I know nothing about Lloyd and his loves - I leave those to Louisa May Alcott. But I do know you.
-I'm in love with Lloyd!
-Lloyd Richards is commercially the most successful playwright in America-
-You have no right to say such things!
-Addison, won't it be just perfect? Lloyd and I - there's no telling how far we can go... he'll write great plays for me, I'll make them be great! You're the only one I've told, the only one that knows except Lloyd and me...
-... and Karen.
-I see. And when was this unholy alliance joined?
-We decided the night before last, before we came up here...
-Was the setting properly romantic - the lights on dimmers, gypsy violins off stage?
-The setting wasn't romantic, but Lloyd was. He woke me up at three in the morning, banging on my door - he couldn't sleep, he told me - he's left Karen, he couldn't go on with the play or anything else until I promised to marry him... we sat and talked until it was light. He never went home...
-You sat and talked until it was light...
-We sat and talked, Addison. I want a run of the play contract.
-There never was, there'll never be another like you.
-What do you take me for?
-I don't know what I take you for anything...
-It is possible - even conceivable - that you've confused me with that gang of backward children you've been playing tricks on - that you have the same contempt for me that you have for them?
-I'm sure you mean something by that, Addison, but I don't know what...
-Look closely, Eve, it's time you did. I am Addison deWitt. I'm nobody's fool. Least of all - yours.
-I never intended you to be.
-I still don't know what you're getting at. Right now I want to take my nap. It's important that I-
-- it's important right now that we talk. Killer to killer.
-Champion to champion.
-Not with me, you're no champion. You're stepping way up in class.
-Addison, will you please say what you have to say plainly and distinctly - and then get out so I can take my nap!
-Very well, plainly and distinctly. Although I consider it unnecessary - because you know as well as I, what I am about to say. Lloyd may leave Karen, but he will not leave Karen for you.
-What do you mean by that?
-More plainly and more distinctly? I Have not come to New Haven to see the play, discuss your dreams, or to pull the ivy from the walls of Yale! I have come to tell you that you will not marry Lloyd - or anyone else - because I will not permit it.
-What have you got to do with it?
-Everything. Because after tonight, you will belong to me.
-I can't believe my ears...
-A dull cliche.
-Belong - to you? That sound medieval - something out of an old melodrama...
-So does the history of the world for the past twenty years. I don't enjoy putting it as bluntly as this, frankly I had hoped that you would, somehow, have known - have taken it for granted that you and I...
-You're too short for that gesture. Besides, it went out with Mrs. Fiske.
-Your name is not Eve Harrington. It is Gertrude Slescynski.
-What of it?
-It is true that your parents were poor. They still are. And they would like to know how you are - and where. They haven't heard from you for three years...
-A matter of opinion. Granted. It is also true that you worked in a brewery. But life in the brewery was apparently not as dull as you pictured it. As a matter of fact, it got less and less dull - until you boss's wife had your boss followed by detectives!
-She never proved anything, not a thing!
-She was a liar, she was a liar!
-I had to get in, to meet Margo! I had to say something, be somebody, make her like me!
-She did like you, she helped and trusted you! You paid her back by trying to take Bill away!
-That's not true!
-You used my name and my column to blackmail Karen into getting you the part of "Cora" - and you lied to me about it!
-No-no-no...
-Then say so.
-Yes, Addison.
-And you realize - you agree how completely you belong to me?
-Yes, Addison.
-I won't play tonight. I couldn't. Not possibly. I couldn't go on...
-I don't suppose there's a drink left...
-You can have one at Max's.
-I don't think I'm going.
-Why not?
-Because I don't want to.
-Max has gone to a great deal of trouble, it's going to be an elaborate party, and it's for you.
-No, it's not. It's for this.
-It's the same thing, isn't it?
-Exactly. Here. Take it to the party instead of me.
-I'm tired. I want to go home.
-Every now and then, some elder statesman of the Theater or cinema assures the public that actors and actresses are just plain folk. Ignoring the fact that their greatest attraction to the public is their complete lack of resemblance to normal human beings.
-That isn't a waiter, my dear. That's a butler.
-Well, I can't yell "Oh, butler," can I? Maybe somebody's name is Butler...
-You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point.
-Let's go sit by the piano.
-We never met. That's why.
-This must be, at long last, our formal introduction. Until now we have met only in passing...
-Claudia dear, come closer. This is Max Fabian. He is a producer. Go do yourself some good.
-Why do they always look like unhappy rabbits?
-Feeling better, my dear?
-Like I just swam the English Channel. Now what?
-Tell me this. Do they have auditions for television?
-It is senseless to insist that theatrical folk in New York, Hollywood and London are no different from the good people of Des Moines, Chillicothe and Liverpool. By and large, we are concentrated gatherings of neurotics, egomaniacs, emotional misfits, and precocious children-
-Answer me this. What makes a man become a producer?
-What makes a man walk into a lion cage with nothing but a chair?
-This answer satisfies me a hundred percent.
-In my case it's necessary. Too many taxi drivers write plays.
-I'm giving her a very high-class party. It ain't like a rehearsal, she don't have to be late.
-Then stop being a star - start treating your guests as your supporting cast!
-She was magnificent.
-Then you've heard too.
-I was there. An eyewitness.
-You were there? At the play - last night?
-From the smartness of your dress, I take it your luncheon companion is a lady?
-Margo.
-Margo? Lunching in public?
-It's new Margo. But she's just as late as the old one.
-I distinctly remember striking your name from the guest list. What are you doing here?
-Dear Margo. You were an unforgettable Peter Pan - you must play it again, soon. You remember Miss Caswell?
-Eve, this is an old friend of Mr. deWitt's mother - Miss Caswell, Miss Harrington... Addison, I've been wanting you to meet Eve for the longest time-
-It could only have been your natural timidity that kept you from mentioning it...
-You've heard of her great interest in the Theater-
-We have that in common.
-You mustn't worry about your little charge. She is in safe hands.
-Why so remote, Addison? I should think you'd be at the side of your protegee, lending her moral support...
-Miss Caswell, at the moment, is where I can lend no support - moral or otherwise.
-The ladies' - shall we say - lounge?
-Being violently ill to her tummy.
-Miss Caswell got lucky too late. The audition is over.
-Over? It can't be. I've come to read with her. I promised Max.
-The audition was called for 2:30. It is now nearly four.
-Is it really? I must start wearing a watch, I never do, you know... who read with Miss Caswell? Bill? Lloyd? Well, it couldn't have been Max! Who?
-Naturally enough, your understudy.
-I consider it highly unnatural to allow a girl in an advanced state of pregnancy-
-I refer to your new and unpregnant understudy. Eve Harrington.
-Eve! My understudy...
-Didn't you know?
-Of course I knew.
-How... how was Miss Caswell?
-Frankly, I don't remember.
-Just slipped your mind.
-Completely. Nor, I am sure, could anyone else present tell you how Miss Caswell read or whether Miss Caswell read or rode a pogo stick.
-Margo, as you know, i have lived in the Theater as a Trappist monk lives in his faith. I have no other world, no other life - and once in a great while I experience that moment of Revelation for which all true believers wait and pray. You were one. Jeanne Eagels another... Paula Wessely... Hayes - there are others, three or four. Eve
-I take it she read well.
-It wasn't reading, it was a performance. Brilliant, vivid, something made of music and fire...
-How nice.
-In time she'll be what you are.
-A mass of music and fire. That's me. An old kazoo and some sparkles. Tell me - was Bill swept away, too, or were you too full of Revelation to notice?
-Bill didn't say - but Lloyd was beside himself. He listened to his play as if someone else had written it, he said, it sounded so fresh, so new, so full of meaning...
-Eve was incredibly modest. She insisted that no credit was due her, that Lloyd felt as he did only because she read lines exactly as he had written them.
-The implication being that I have not been reading them as written.
-Bill...
-The air lines have clocks, even if you haven't! I start shooting a week from Monday - Zanuck is impatient, he wants me, he needs me!
-Bill!
-Huh?
-You've already met.
-Where?
-Right here. A minute ago.
-Good luck, genius...
-Macbeth.
-I guess at this point I'm what the French call 'de trop'...
-When? When are you going to do it?
-Nothing?
-Forty-five minutes from now my plane takes off and how do I find you? Not ready yet, looking like a junk yard-
-Thank you so much.
-Is it sabotage, does my career mean nothing to you? Have you no human consideration?
-Only in some ways. You're prettier...
-Hi. My wonderful junk yard. The mystery and dreams you find in a junk yard-
-Oh well... ... look through the wigs, maybe it got caught-
-Real diamonds in a wig. The world we live in...
-Can't keep his eyes off my legs.
-Like a nylon lemon peel-
-She's quite a girl, that what's-her name...
-Eve. I'd forgotten they grew that way...
-The lack of pretense, that sort of strange directness and understanding-
-Did she tell you about the Theater and what it meant?
-I told her. I sounded off.
-Take care of yourself out there...
-I understand they've got the Indians pretty well in hand...
-Bill...
-Huh?
-Don't get stuck on some glamour puss-
-I'll try.
-You're not such a bargain, you know, conceited and thoughtless and messy-
-Everybody can't be Gregory Peck.
-- you're a setup for some gorgeous wide-eyed young babe.
-How childish are you going to get before you quit it?
-I don't want to be childish, I'd settle for just a few years-
-And cut that out right now.
-Am I going to lose you, Bill? Am I?
-Knit me a muffler.
-What a thoughtful, ever-lovin' thing to do-
-Bill? Have I gone crazy, Bill?
-You're my girl, aren't you?
-That I am...
-Then you're crazy.
-When - when are you coming back?
-I leave in a week - the picture's all wrapped up, we previewed last night... those previews. Like opening out of town, but terrifying. There's nothing you can do, you're trapped, you're in a tin can-
-- in a tin can, cellophane or wrapped in a Navajo blanket, I want you home...
-You in a hurry?
-A big hurry, be quick about it - so good night, darling, and sleep tight...
-Wait a minute! You can't hang up, you haven't even said it-
-Bill, you know how much I do - but over the phone, now really, that's kid stuff...
-Kid stuff or not, it doesn't happen every day, I want to heat it - and if you won't say it, you can sing it...
-Sing it?
-Bill... Bill, it's your birthday.
-Happy birthday, darling...
-The reading could have been better, but you said it - now "many happy returns of the day..."
-Many happy returns of the day...
-I get a party, don't I?
-Of course, birthday and welcome home... who'll I ask?
-It's no secret, I know all about the party - Eve wrote me...
-She did...?
-She hasn't missed a week since I left - but you know all that, you probably tell her what to write... anyway, I sent her a list of people to ask - check with her.
-Yeah... I will.
-How is Eve? Okay?
-Okay.
-I love you...
-I'll check with Eve...
-What?
-I love you too. Good night, darling-
-Outside of a beehive, Margo, your behavior would hardly be considered either queenly or motherly!
-It's a good thought.
-Happy little housewife...
-Cut it out.
-Need any help?
-Don't let me kill the point. Or isn't it a story for grownups?
-You've heard it. About when I looked through the wrong end of a camera finder.
-Looks like I'm going to have a very fancy party...
-I thought you were going to be late-
-When I'm guest of honor?
-I had no idea you were even here.
-I ran into Eve on my way upstairs; she told me you were dressing.
-That never stopped you before.
-Well, we started talking, she wanted to know all about Hollywood, she seemed so interested...
-She's a girl of so many interests.
-It's a pretty rare quality these days.
-She's a girl of so many rare qualities.
-So she seems.
-I can't believe you're making this up - it sounds like something out of an old Clyde Fitch play...
-Clyde Fitch, thought you may not think so, was well before my time!
-I've always denied the legend that you were in 'Our American Cousin' the night Lincoln was shot...
-I don't think that's funny!
-Of course it's funny - this is all too laughable to be anything else. You know what I think about this - this age obsession of yours - and now this ridiculous attempt to whip yourself up into a jealous froth because I spent ten minutes with a stage-struck kid-
-Twenty minutes!
-Thirty minutes, forty minutes! What of it?
-Stage-struck kid... she's a young lady - of qualities. And I'll have you know I'm fed up with both the young lady and her qualities! Studying me as if - as if I were a play or a set of blueprints! How I walk, talk, think, eat, sleep!
-Now how can you take offense at a kid trying in every way to be as much like her ideal as possible!
-Stop calling her a kid! It so happens there are particular aspects of my life to which I would like to maintain sole and exclusive rights and privileges!
-For instance what?
-For instance - you!
-This is my cue to take you in my arms and reassure you - but I'm not going to. I'm too mad-
-- guilty.
-Mad! Darling, there are certain characteristics for which you are famous - on stage and off. I love you for some of them - and in spite of others. I haven't let those become too important to me. They're part of your equipment for getting along in what is laughably called out environment - you've got to keep your teeth sharp. All right. But
-What about her teeth? What about her fangs?
-She hasn't cut them yet, and you know it! So when you start judging an idealistic dreamy-eyed kid by the barroom, Benzedrine standards of this megalomaniac society - I won't have it! Eve Harrington has never by word, look, thought or suggestion indicated anything to me but her adoration for you and her happiness at our being in love! And to intimate anything else
-Thank you.
-Nothing, really...
-The kid - junior, that is - will be right down. Unless you'd like to take her drink up to her...
-Many of your guests have been wondering when they may be permitted to view the body. Where has it been laid out?
-It hasn't been laid out, we haven't finished with the embalming. As a matter of fact, you're looking at it. The remains of Margo Channing. Sitting up. It is my last wish to be buried sitting up.
-Wouldn't you feel more natural taking a bow?
-You know nothing about feelings, natural or unnatural.
-Then without feeling, your guests were also wondering whether the music couldn't be a shade more on the - shall we say, happier side?
-No heart to burn.
-It's all over.
-What's all over?
-The audition.
-What fire and music?
-Addison-!
-And you, I take it, are the Paderewski who plays his concerto on me, the piano? Where is Princess Fire-and-Music?
-Who?
-The kid. Junior.
-Gone.
-I must have frightened her away.
-I wouldn't be surprised. Sometimes you frighten me.
-Poor little flower. Just dropped her petals and folded her tent...
-Don't mix your metaphors.
-I mix what I like.
-Okay. Mix.
-I'm nothing but a body with a voice. No mind.
-What a body, what a voice.
-The ex-ship news' reporter. No body, no voice, all mind!
-The gong rang. The fight's over. Calm down.
-I will not calm down!
-Don't calm down.
-You're being terribly tolerant, aren't you?
-I'm trying terribly hard.
-Well, you needn't. I will not be tolerated. And I will not be plotted against!
-Here we go...
-Such nonsense, what do you all take me for - little Nell from the country? Been my understudy for over a week without my knowing, carefully hidden no doubt-
-Now don't get carried away-
-- shows up for an audition when everyone knew I'd be here... and gives a performance! Out of nowhere - gives a performance!
-You've been all through that with Lloyd-
-The playwright doesn't make the performance - and it doesn't just happen! And this one didn't - full of fire and music and whatnot, it was carefully rehearsed I have no doubt, over and over, full of those Bill Sampson touches!
-I am sick and tired of these paranoiac outbursts!
-Paranoiac!
-I didn't know Eve Harrington was your understudy until half past two this afternoon!
-No, I'll tell it to you! For the last time, I'll tell it to you. Because you've got to stop hurting yourself, and me, and the two of us by these paranoiac tantrums!
-That word again! I don't even know what it means...
-It's obvious you're not a woman.
-I've been aware of that for some time.
-Well, I am.
-I'll say.
-Don't be condescending.
-Come on, get up. I'll buy you a drink.
-I admit I may have seen better days, but I am still not to be had for the price of a cocktail - like a salted peanut.
-Margo, let's make peace.
-The terms are too high. Unconditional surrender.
-Just being happy? Just stopping all this nonsense about Eve - and Eve and me?
-It's not nonsense.
-But if I tell you it is - as I just did. Were you listening to me? Isn't that enough?
-I wish it were.
-Then what would be enough? If we were married?
-I wouldn't want you to marry me just to prove something.
-You've had so many reasons for not wanting to marry me... Margo, tell me what's behind all this.
-I - I don't know, Bill. Just a feeling, I don't know...
-Bill... ... where are you going? To find Eve?
-The so-called art of acting is not one for which I have a particularly high regard...
-Hear, hear...
-But you may quote me as follows. Quote. Tonight Miss Margo Channing gave a performance in your cockamamie play, the like of which I have never seen before and expect rarely to see again. Unquote.
-He does not exaggerate. I was good.
-To Margo. To my bride-to-be.
-It's only for the license. There's a three-day wait - blood tests, things like that...
-Something simple. A fur coat over a nightgown...
-"Please forgive me for butting into what seems such a happy occasion - but it's most important that I speak with you. Please" - it's underlined - "meet me in the Ladies' Room. Eve."
-I understand she is now the understudy in there.
-Groom- - may I have a wedding present?
-What would you like? Texas?
-There goes Eve. Eve evil, Little Miss Evil. But the evil that men do - how does it go, groom? Something about the good they leave behind - I played it once in rep in Wilkes Barre...
-You've got it backwards. Even for Wilkes-Barre.
-Never try to outguess Margo.
-Groom.
-Yes, dear.
-You know what I'm going to be?
-A cowboy.
-A married lady.
-With the paper to prove it.
-Often enough to keep the franchise.
-Hello, what's your name?
-You said forty-seven minutes. You'll never make it.
-Why?
-I just wondered.
-Just wondered what?
-Why.
-Why what?
-Why you have to go out there.
-I don't have to. I want to.
-Is it the money?
-Eighty percent of it will go for taxes.
-Then why? Why, if you're the best and most successful young director in the Theater-
-The Theatuh, the Theatuh- - what book of rules says the Theater exists only within some ugly buildings crowded into one square mile of New York City? Or London, Paris or Vienna? Listen, junior. And learn. Want to know what the Theater is? A flea circus. Also opera. Also rodeos, carnivals, ballets, Indian tribal dances, Punch and Judy, a one-man band - all Theater.
-I just asked a simple question.
-But Hollywood. You mustn't stay there.
-It's only one picture deal.
-So few come back...
-I read George Jean Nathan every week.
-Also Addison deWitt.
-Every day.
-Ah...
-I have a suggestion. There's really not much time left - I mean, you haven't had a minute alone yet, and - well, I could take care of everything here and meet you at the gate with the ticket... if you'd like.
-I think we'd like very much. Sure you won't mind?
-Thanks for your help... good luck.
-Yes. Yes, it does.
-- little things here and there, it doesn't matter. You can be proud of yourself, you've got a right to be.
-Are you proud of me, Bill?
-I'll admit I was worried when Max called. I had my doubts.
-You shouldn't have had any doubts.
-- after all, the other day was one scene, the woods are full of one scene sensations. But you did it. With work and patience, you'll be a fine actress. If that's what you want to be.
-Is that what you want me to be?
-I'm talking about you. And what you want.
-So am I.
-What have I got to do with it?
-Everything.
-Don't run away, Bill.
-From what would I be running?
-You're always after truth - on the stage. What about off?
-I'm for it.
-Then face it. I have. Since that first night - here - in the dressing room.
-When I told you what every young actress should know.
-When you told me that whatever I became, it would be because of you-
-Your make-up's a little heavy.
-- and for you.
-You're quite a girl.
-You think?
-I'm in love with Margo. Hadn't you heard?
-You hear all kinds of things.
-I'm only human, rumors to the contrary. And I'm as curious as the next man...
-Find out.
-Lemme fix you a drink.
-Margo does not play a lunatic, Birdie.
-The bed looks like a dead animal act. Which one is sables?
-But she just got here...
-She's on her way. With half the men in the joint. It's only a fur coat...
-What did you expect - live sables?
-Bill says actors out there eat just as infrequently as here-
-It was Fort Sumter they fired on-
-You need new girdles.
-Buy some.
-The same size?
-Of course!
-How do you do, my dear.
-And this is my good friend and companion, Miss Birdie Coonan.
-Oh, brother.
-I'm sure you must have things to do in the bathroom, Birdie dear.
-There are some human experiences, Birdie, that do not take place in a vaudeville house - and that even a fifth-rate vaudevillian should understand and respect! I want to apologize for Birdie's-
-She, too, is a great admirer of yours.
-Kill the people. Got your key?
-You bought the new girdles a size smaller. I can feel it.
-Something maybe grew a size bigger.
-When we get home you're going to get into one of those girdles and act for two and half hours.
-Adorable. We now got everything a dressing room needs except a basketball hoop.
-If I may so bold as to say something - did you ever hear the word "union"?
-Behind in your dues? How much?
-I haven't got a union. I'm slave labor.
-Well?
-But the wardrobe women have got one. And next to a tenor, a wardrobe woman is the touchiest thing in show business-
-Oh-oh.
-Birdie-
-Hmm?
-You don't like Eve, do you?
-Do you want an argument or an answer?
-An answer.
-No.
-Why not?
-Now you want an argument.
-She works hard.
-Night an' day.
-She's loyal and efficient-
-Like an agent with one client.
-She thinks only for me... ... doesn't she?
-Well... let's say she thinks only about you, anyway...
-I'll tell you how. Like - let's see - like she was studyin' you, like you were a play or a book or a set of blueprints. How you walk, talk, think, eat, sleep-
-You all put together?
-My back's open. Did the extra help get here?
-There's some loose characters dressed like maids and butlers. Who'd you call - the William Morris Agency?
-You're not being funny, I could get actors for less. What about the food?
-The caterer had to back for hors d'oeuvres- Voila.
-That French ventriloquist taught you a lot, didn't he?
-There was nothing he didn't know. There's a message from the bartender. Does Miss Channing know we ordered domestic gin by mistake?
-The only thing I ordered by mistake is the guests. They're domestic, too, and they don't care what they drink as long as it burns... where's Bill? He's late.
-Late for what?
-Don't be dense. The party.
-I ain't dense. And he's been here twenty minutes.
-Who are you?
-Miss Harrington...
-What are you doing here?
-Please don't have me arrested, please! I didn't steal anything - you can search me!
-How did you get in here?
-I hid outside in the hall till the maid came to turn down your bed. She must've forgot something and when she went to get it, she left the door open. I sneaked in and hid till she finished. Then I just looked around - and pretty soon I was afraid somebody'd notice the lights were on so I turned them off - and
-You were just looking around...
-That's all.
-What for?
-You probably won't believe me.
-Probably not.
-It was for my report.
-What report? To whom?
-About how you live, what kind of clothes you wear - what kind of perfume and books - things like that. You know the Eve Harrington clubs - that they've got in most of the girls' high schools?
-I've heard of them.
-Ours was one of the first. Erasmus Hall. I'm the president.
-Erasmus Hall. That's in Brooklyn, isn't it?
-You're going to Hollywood - aren't you? From the trunks you're packing, you must be going to stay a long time.
-I might.
-The maid'll fix it in the morning.
-I'll just pick up the broken glass.
-How'd you get all the way up here from Brooklyn?
-Subway.
-How long does it take?
-It's after one now. You won't get home till all hours.
-That's the door.
-So there you are. It seemed odd, suddenly, your not being there...
-Why should you think I wouldn't be?
-Why should you be? After all, six nights a week - for weeks - of watching even Margo Channing enter and leave a theater-
-I hope you don't mind my speaking to you...
-Not at all.
-I've seen you so often - it took every bit of courage I could raise-
-To speak to just a playwright's wife? I'm the lowest form of celebrity...
-You're Margo Channing's best friend. You and your husband are always with her - and Mr. Sampson... what's he like?
-Bill Sampson? He's - he's a director.
-He's the best.
-He'll agree with you. Tell me, what do you between the time Margo goes in and comes out? Just huddle in that doorway and wait?
-Oh, no. I see the play.
-You see the play? You've seen the play every performance? But, don't you find it - I mean apart from everything else - don't you find it expensive?
-I'm going to take you to Margo...
-Oh, no...
-She's got to meet you-
-There isn't another like you, there couldn't be-
-But if I'd known... maybe some other time... I mean, looking like this.
-You look just fine... ... by the way. What's your name?
-I thought you'd forgotten about me.
-Hello, Miss Channing.
-If I only knew how...
-Try...
-Eve... why don't you start at the beginning?
-You're not going, are you?
-Good night, Eve. I hope I see you again soon-
-I'll be at the old stand, tomorrow matinee-
-Not just that way. As a friend...
-Now who's show up at this hour? It's time people went home - hold that coat up... ... whose is it?
-Some Hollywood movie star, her plane got in late.
-Discouraging, isn't it? Women with furs like that where it never gets cold...
-Hollywood.
-There should be a new word for happiness. Being here with Miss Channing has been - I just can't say, she's been so wonderful, done so much for me-
-Mrs. Richards.
-Karen.
-Karen... ... isn't it awful, I'm about to ask you for another favor - after all you've already done.
-Nobody's done so much, Eve, you've got to stop thinking of yourself as one of the Hundred Neediest Cases... what is it?
-... you want to be Margo's new understudy.
-I don't let myself think about it, even- - but I do know the part so well, and every bit of the staging, there'd be no need to break in a new girl- - but suppose I had to go on one night? To an audience that came to see Margo Channing. No, I couldn't possibly...
-Don't worry too much about that. Margo just doesn't miss performances. If she can walk, crawl or roll - she plays.
-The show must go on.
-No, dear. Margo must go on. As a matter of fact, I see no reason why you shouldn't be Margo's understudy...
-Do you think Miss Channing would approve?
-I think she would cheer.
-But Mr. Richards and Mr. Sampson-
-Then - would you talk to Mr. Fabian about it?
-Of course.
-You won't forget it?
-I won't forget.
-You mustn't mind Margo too much, even if I do...
-But there must be some reason, something I've done without knowing...
-The reason is Margo and don't try to figure it out. Einstein couldn't.
-If I thought I'd offended her, of all people-
-Eve. I'm fond of Margo too. But I know Margo. And every now and then there is nothing I want to do so much as to kick her right square in the pants.
-Karen... ... you won't forget, will you? What we talked about before?
-May I have your coat?
-Don't bother, I can take it up myself...
-Eve. I've heard the most wonderful things about your performance-
-We're having lunch with a movie talent scout.
-They certainly don't waste much time.
-I was wondering whether you'd come at all..
-Don't get up. And don't act as if I were the queen mother.
-I don't expect you to be pleasant.
-I don't intend to be.
-I've got a lot to say. And none of it is easy.
-There can't be very much-
-Oh, but there is-
-- and easy or not, I won't believe a word.
-You know, I've always considered myself a very clever girl. Smart. Good head on my shoulders, that sort of thing, never the wrong word at the wrong time... but then, I'd never met Addison deWitt. I remember once I had a tooth pulled. They gave me some anaesthetic - I don't remember the name - and it affected me in a strange way. I
-- and you felt just like that talking to Addison.
-In a way. You find yourself trying to say what you mean, but somehow the words change - and they become his words - and suddenly you're not saying what you mean, but what he means-
-Do you expect me to believe that you didn't say any of those things - that they were all Addison?
-No! I don't expect you to believe anything. Except that the responsibility is mine. And the disgrace.
-Let's not get over-dramatic.
-Eve... don't cry.
-I'm not crying.
-Tell me. How did your lunch turn out - with the man from Hollywood?
-Some vague promises of a test, that's all - if a particular part should come along, one of those things-
-But the raves about your performance-
-- an understudy's performance.
-Well. I think you're painting the picture a little darker than it is, really. If nothing else - and don't underestimate him - you have a powerful friend in Addison.
-He's not my friend. You were my friends...
-He can help you.
-Eve. I - I don't think you meant to cause unhappiness. But you did. More to yourself, perhaps - as it turned out - than to anyone else...
-I'll never get over it.
-Yes, you will. You Theater people always do. Nothing is forever in the Theater. Love or hate, success or failure - whatever it is, it's here, it flares up and burns hot - and then it's gone.
-I wish I could believe that.
-I think I know...
-Something most important you can do.
-You want to play "Cora." You want me to tell Lloyd I think you should play it.
-If you told him so, he'd give me the part. He said he would.
-After all you've said... don't you know the part was written for Margo?
-It could have been - fifteen years ago. It's my part now.
-You talk just as Addison said you did.
-"Cora" is my part. You've got to tell Lloyd it's for me.
-Addison wants me to play it.
-Over my dead body...
-A part in a play. You'd do all that - just for a part in a play.
-She knows enough not to be here.
-Congratulations, Eve.
-Hello, Miss Harrington.
-No, thank you. Yes. I've seen every performance.
-Every performance? Then - am I safe in assuming you like it?
-How'd hear about it?
-There was an item in the Times. i like the title. 'Footsteps on the Ceiling'.
-Well... it started with the play before this one...
-I guess it started back home. Wisconsin, that is. There was just mum, and dad - and me. I was the only child, and I made believe a lot when I was a kid - I acted out all sorts of things... what they were isn't important. But somehow acting and make-believe began to fill up my life more and more, it got so
-Not at all...
-It's been a real pleasure, Eve.
-Back to Copacabana. But Eve. Margo, let me tell you about Eve-
-Please, don't misunderstand me, Mr. Richards. I think that part of Miss Channing's greatness lies in her ability to choose the best plays... your new play is for Miss Channing, isn't it, Mr. Richards?
-Well. If I didn't come to see the play, I wouldn't have anywhere else to go.
-There are other plays...
-Did you see it here in New York?
-No, don't go...
-Stick around. Please. Tell you what - we'll put Stanislavsky on his plane, you and I, then go somewhere and talk.
-Well - if I'm not in the way...
-What - again?
-I could watch you play that last scene a thousand times and cry every time-
-I must say you can certainly tell Mr. Sampson's been gone a month.
-You certainly can. Especially if you're me between now and tomorrow morning...
-I mean the performance. Except for you, you'd think he'd never even directed it - it's disgraceful the way they change everything around...
-Well, teacher's away and actors will be actors...
-During your second act scene with your father, Roger Ferraday's supposed to stay way upstage at the arch. He's been coming closer down every night...
-You haven't noticed my latest bit of interior decorating...
-Well, you've done so much... what's new?
-The curtains. I made them myself.
-While you're cleaning up, I'll take this to the wardrobe mistress-
-Don't bother. Mrs. Brown'll be along for it in a minute.
-Well - what do you think of my elegant new suit?
-Very becoming. It looks better on you than it did on me.
-I can imagine... you know, all it needed was some taking in here and letting out there - are you sure you won't want it yourself?
-Quite sure. I find it just a bit too - too "Seventeenish" for me...
-Oh, come now, as though you were an old lady... I'm on my way. Is there anything more you've thought of-?
-There's the script to go back to the Guild-
-I've got it.
-- and those checks or whatever it is for the income tax man.
-Right here.
-It seems I can't think of a thing you haven't thought of...
-That's my job. See you at tea time...
-Eve... ... by any chance, did you place a call from me to Bill for midnight California time?
-Oh, golly. And I forgot to tell you-
-Yes, dear. You forgot all about it.
-Well, I was sure you'd want to, of course, being his birthday, and you've been so busy these past few days, and last night I meant to tell you before you went out with the Richards - and I guess I was asleep when you got home...
-Yes, I guess you were. It - it was very thoughtful of you, Eve.
-Don't get up. And please stop acting as if I were the queen mother.
-If you'd like.
-I'd like to hear it.
-Some snowy night in front of the fire... in the meantime, while we're on the subject, will you check about the hors d'oeuvres? The caterer forgot them, the varnish wasn't dry or something...
-The hors d'oeuvres are here. Is there anything else I can do?
-Good evening, Mr. deWitt.
-Terribly sorry I'm late, lunch was long and I couldn't find a cab - where's Miss Caswell, shall we start? Oh, hello, Eve...
-Hello, Miss Channing.
-Miss Channing, I can't tell you how glad I am that you arrived so late.
-Really, Eve? Why?
-Well, if you'd been here to begin with, I wouldn't have dared to read at all...
-Why not?
-... and if you'd come in the middle, I'd have stopped, I couldn't have gone on-
-Hi. Hello, darling-
-It's the tight girdle that does it.
-Relax, kid. It's only me and my big mouth...
-It's just that you get me so mad sometimes... of all the women in the world with nothing to complain about-
-Ain't it the truth?
-Yes, it is! You're talented, famous, wealthy - people waiting around night after night just to see you, even in the wind and rain...
-Autograph fiends! They're not people - those little beast who run in packs like coyotes-
-They're your fans, your audience-
-Well... there's one indoors now. I've brought her back to see you.
-You've what?
-She's just outside the door.
-Dear Birdie. Won't you sit down, Miss Worthington?
-Harrington.
-Would you like a drink? It's right beside you...
-Margo, really...
-Margo, nothing you've ever done has made me as happy as your taking Eve in...
-That little place just two hours form New York. It's on my list of things-I'll-never-understand. Like collecting shrunken Indian heads...
-Of all people you should know what it means to want some peace and quiet-
-How much time have we?
-Roughly ten minutes.
-How far to the station?
-Three or four miles...
-Any houses or farms around where we can borrow gas?
-None in sight, there aren't many along this back road...
-He always looks so pathetic whenever he does anything physical-
-It seems to me that walking, for most people, is not very dangerous.
-I just never think of Lloyd as anywhere but indoors and anything but sitting down.
-Do you want it on?
-It doesn't matter.
-Karen. I haven't been pleasant this weekend.
-We've all seemed a little tense lately...
-Come to think of it, I haven't been very pleasant for weeks. For that, I'm truly sorry. More than any two people I know, I don't want you and Lloyd to be angry with me...
-We're never deeply angry, we just get sore. The way you do. We know you too well...
-So many people - know me. I wish I did. I wish someone would tell be about me...
-You're Margo. Just - Margo.
-What about Bill?
-What about Bill?
-He's in love with you.
-More than anything in this world, I love Bill. And I want Bill. I want him to want me. But me. Not Margo Channing. And if I can't tell they apart - how can he?
-Why should he - and why should you?
-Bill's in love with Margo Channing. He's fought with her, worked with her, loved her... but ten years from now - Margo Channing will have ceased to exist. And what's left will be... what?
-Margo. Bill is all of eight years younger than you.
-Those years stretch as the years go on. I've seen it happen too often.
-Not to you. Not to Bill.
-I don't suppose the heater runs when the motor doesn't?
-About Eve. I've acted pretty disgracefully toward her, too.
-Well...
-Margo. Margo, I want you to know how sorry I am about this...
-About what?
-This. I can't tell you how sorry I am!
-"... my hat which has, lo, these many seasons become more firmly rooted about my ears, is lifted to Miss Harrington. I am once more available for dancing in the streets and shouting from the housetops." ... I thought that one went out with Woollcott... Down here... here, listen to this- "... Miss Harrington had much to tell - and these columns shall report
-I just can't believe it.
-It get better! "- About the understandable reluctance on the part of our entrenched First Ladies of the Stage to encourage, shall we say - younger - actresses; about Miss Harrington's own long and unsupported struggle for opportunity-"
-In this rat race, everybody's guilty till they're proved innocent! One of the differences between the Theater and civilization... ... what gets me is how all of those papers in town happened to catch that particular performance!
-Lloyd says it's a publicity release...
-Karen, in all the years of our friendship, I have never let you go to the Ladies' Room alone. But now I must. I am busting to know what goes on in that feverish little brain waiting there...
-With tears?
-With tears.
-But not right away? First the business of fighting them off, chin up, stout fella...
-Check.
-I remember.
-How was the concert?
-- 'at's my loyal little woman.
-The critics thought so, the audiences certainly think so - packed houses, tickets for months in advance - I can't see that either of Lloyd's last two plays have hurt you any!
-You can't put her out, I promised... Margo, you've got to see her, she worships you, it's like something out of a book-
-That book is out of print, Karen, those days are gone. Fans no longer pull the carriage through the streets - they tear off clothes and steal wrist watches...
-Now let's not get into a big hassle-
-Coming?
-Lloyd, what happened...?
-Up to here! That's where I've got it - up to here! Of all the star ridden, presumptuous, hysterical-
-Margo, again...
-And again and again! Two hours late for the audition, to begin with-
-That's on time for Margo.
-Then a childish, heavy-handed routine about not knowing Eve was her understudy-
-It's just possible she didn't...
-Of course she knew! For one thing, Addison told her how superbly Eve had read the part-! Karen, let me tell you about Eve. She's got everything - a born actress. Sensitive, understanding, young, exciting, vibrant-
-- don't run out of adjectives, dear.
-- everything a playwright first thinks of wanting to write about... until his play becomes a vehicle for Miss Channing...
-Margo hasn't done badly by it.
-It's going to be a cozy weekend.
-What is?
-We're driving out to the country tomorrow night. Just the four of us. Bill, Margo, you and I...
-What time is it?
-When you asked a minute ago it was five-forty-two. It is now five forty-three. When you ask a minute from no, it will be-
-I just don't want Margo to miss her train. As it is, she'll barely make the theater...
-Lloyd, be careful...
-But it can't be! We can't be out of gas! I filled it myself yesterday! Wasn't it full when you drove to Brewster this morning?
-I guess I didn't look. You know I don't pay attention to those things...
-You'll break your neck on that ice.
-What a way to die - trying to get an actress to the theater in time. Tell Max I want to be buried with royalties...
-- it's Addison, from start to finish, it drips with his brand of venom... taking advantage of a kid like that, twisting her words, making her say what he wanted her to say-
-Where'd you get all that information?
-Eve.
-Eve?
-She's been to see me, as a matter of fact she left just before you came in - you just missed her...
-That was a pity...
-She wanted to explain about her interview, wanted to apologize to someone - and didn't dare face Margo...
-You know, I've been going over our financial condition - if you'll pardon the expression...
-That's quite a change of subject.
-What with taxes coming up - and since I'm a playwright and not an oil well operator - well, I've been thinking...
-I'm trying hard to follow you.
-If - instead of waiting until next season to do 'Footsteps on the Ceiling', which is in pretty good shape - and if Margo can be talked into going on tour with 'Aged in Wood' - we could put 'Footsteps...' into production right away...
-I'm beginning to catch up.
-If we could cast it properly, that is...
-Maybe get some younger actress for the part? Someone who'd look the part as well as play it?
-You've got to admit it would be a novelty.
-Eve did mention the play, you know. But just in passing - she's never ask to play a part like "Cora," she'd never have the nerve...
-Eve would ask Abbott to give her Costello.
-No, I got the idea myself - while she was talking to me...
-With gestures, of course.
-Lloyd Richards, you are not to consider giving that contemptible little worm the part of "Cora."
-Now just a minute-
-Margo Channing has not been exactly a compromise all these years, half the playwrights in the world would give their shirts for that particular compromise!
-Now just a minute!
-All this fuss and hysteria because an impulsive kid got carried away by excitement and the conniving of a professional manure slinger named deWitt! She apologized, didn't she?
-On her knees, I have no doubt! Very touching, very Academy-of-Dramatic Arts!
-That bitter cynicism of yours is something you've acquired since you left Radcliffe!
-Margo - and Bill - want us to meet them at the Cub Room tonight, after theater. For a bottle of wine.
-Margo in the Cub Room. I couldn't be more surprised if she'd said Grant's Tomb.
-I'm glad Bill's back.
-Darling, I didn't promise Eve anything. Just said I thought she'd be fine for the part, but there were some practical difficulties...
-Such as?
-Well of all-
-Three days, that's for the bourgeois - I see a midnight elopement, waking up a village person...
-After all, maybe she just wants to apologize...
-- well? What happened?
-You mean - all this time - she'd done nothing but apologize? What'd you say?
-What's so funny?
-Who is it? What's it all about?
-I didn't think you would! It seems to me, Karen, that for some tine, now, you've been developing a deep unconcern for the feeling of human being in general-
-I'm a human being, I've got some!
-Have you forgotten about Eve? What she is, what she's done?
-Old wives' tales, born of envy and jealousy! And a phobia against truth!
-Honey chili had a point. You know, I can remember plays about women - even from the South - where it never even occurred to them whether they wanted to marry their fathers more than their brothers...
-That was way back...
-Would you, really? How sweet-
-How about calling it a night?
-I like that girl. That quality of quiet graciousness...
-The general atmosphere is very Macbethish. What has or is about to happen?
-There you are, both of you. Max, Karen has decided it's time to go.
-Where is she?
-Who's left out there?
-Too many. And you've got a new guest. A movie star from Hollywood.
-You disapprove of me when I'm like this, don't you?
-Not exactly. Sometimes, though, I wish I understood you better.
-When you do, let me in on it.
-How's the new one coming?
-The play? All right, I guess...
-"Cora." She's - still a girl of twenty?
-Twentyish. It isn't important.
-Don't you think it's about time it became important?
-How do you mean?
-Don't be evasive.
-Margo, you haven't got any age.
-Miss Channing is ageless. Spoken like a press agent.
-I know what I'm talking about, after all they're my plays...
-Spoken like an author. Lloyd, I'm not twentyish. I am not thirtyish. Three months ago, I was forty years old. Forty. Four oh. That slipped out, I hadn't quite made up my mind to admit it. Now I feel as if I'd suddenly taken all my clothes off...
-Week after week, to thousands of people, you're as young as you want...
-... as young as they want, you mean. And I'm not interested in whether thousands of people think I'm six or six hundred-
-She's your understudy.
-Eve? Eve, my understudy? But I had no idea...
-I thought you knew... She was put on over a week ago-
-I'm sure you underestimate yourself, Eve. You always do. You were about to tell me about Eve...
-You'd have been proud of her.
-I'm sure.
-She was a revelation...
-To you, too?
-What do you mean?
-I mean, among other things, that it must have been a revelation to have your twenty-four-year-old character played by twenty-four-year-old actress...
-That's beside the point.
-You've been talking to that venomous fishwife, Addison deWitt-
-- in this case, apparently, as trustworthy as the World Almanac!
-You knew when you came in that the audition was over, that Eve was your understudy! Playing that childish game of cat and mouse...
-Not mouse, never mouse! If anything - rat!
-You have a genius for making barroom brawl out of a perfectly innocent misunderstanding at most!
-Perfectly innocent! Man have been hanged for less! I'm lied to, attacked behind my back, accused of reading your silly dialogue inaccurately - as if it were Holy Gospel!
-I never said it was!
-I shall never understand the weird process by which a body with a voice suddenly fancies itself a mind! Just when exactly does an actress decide they're her words she's saying and her thoughts she's expressing?
-Usually at the point when she's got to rewrite and rethink them to keep the audience from leaving the theater!
-Karen and I just don't want an accident-
-I have no intention of having an accident!
-How fortunate that I have an understudy so ready, so willing and so able to go on.
-The audience will want its money refunded, believe me.
-It's been quite a night. I understand that your understudy - Miss Harrington - has given her notice.
-Yes, sir.
-Very discreet. A note right out in the open like that. Next time tell your lover to blow smoke rings - or tap a glass...
-... and Bill. Especially Bill. Eve did that, too.
-You know, she probably means well, after all...
-That depends.
-I mean really, deeply angry...
-I don't think I could be.
-Now wait a minute, you're always so touchy about his plays, it isn't the part - it's a great part. And a fine play. But not for me anymore - not a foursquare, upright, downright, forthright married lady.
-What's your being married got to do with it?
-Hello..
-We are ready with your call to Beverly Hills...
-Call, what call?
-It this Templeton 89970? Miss Margo Channing?
-That's right, but I don't understand-
-We are ready with the call you placed for 12 midnight, California time, to Mr. William Sampson in Beverly Hills...
-I placed...?
-"Liebestraum."
-I just played it.
-Play it again.
-But that was the fourth straight time.
-Then this will be five. I suppose you think I'm too drunk to count.
-No. You're just crazy about "Liebestraum."
-"Liebestraum."
-Look, Miss Channing... it's kind of depressing. If you don't mind my saying so, everybody's kind of dying on the vine...
-Make it Bergdorf Goodman... and now everything is on its proper shelf, eh, Max? Done up in little ribbons. I could die right now and nobody'd be confused. How about you, Max?
-Supposed you dropped dead. What about your inventory?
-Margo. You by any chance got bicarbonate of soda in the house?
-Let the rest of the world beat their brains out for a buck. It's friends that count. And I got friends.
-Here you are, Maxie dear. One good burp and you'll be rid of that Miss Caswell...
-The situation I'm in ain't the kind you can belch your way out. I made a promise...
-Miss Caswell? What?
-Well, if she can act, she might not be bad. She looks like she might burn down a plantation...
-I feel right now like there's one burning in me.
-When's the audition?
-A couple of weeks.
-I tell you what. Why don't I read with her?
-Would you?
-Anything to help you out, Max.
-This is real cooperation. I appreciate it.
-Not at all. And you could do me a big favor, if you would-
-All you got to do is name it.
-You get quick action, don't you?
-Margo, I wouldn't think of taking that girl away from you...
-You said yourself my inventory was in good shape - all of my merchandise put away. To keep her here with nothing to do - I'd be standing in her way... and you need her, Max.
-But what could she do?
-She'd be a great help - read scripts, interview people you have to see, get rid of the ones you don't have to... you'd be a man of leisure-
-Well...
-Think of your health, Max - more time to relax out in the fresh air at a race track...
-I don't know if this would be a wise move...
-Promise.
-I promise.
-This is for lawyers to talk about, this concerns a run-of-the-play contract, and this you can't rewrite or ad lib!
-Are you threatening me with legal action, Mr. Fabian?
-Are you breaking the contract?
-Answer my question!
-Who am I to threaten? I'm a dying man.
-I didn't hear you.
-I said I'm a dying man!
-What the hell were you doing rewriting my story--
---I sure couldn't hurt it, could I?--
---it was fine the way it was--
---it was bullshit the way it was--
---I have to stand here and listen to the staff correspondent from Virginia?--
---what have you been here, nine months?--I been in this business since I was sixteen--
---and you've had some fucking meteoric rise, that's for sure--by the time you turn forty you might be the head of the Montana bureau--
---you only got the job because both you and Bradlee went to Yale--
---Bradlee went to Harvard--
---they're all the same, all those Ivy League places--they teach you about striped ties and suddenly you're smart--
---I'm smart enough to know my story was solid--
---mine's better--
---no way--
-What is it about my writing that's so rotten?
-Carl?
-Yeah?
-You heard? They put us both on the break-in thing. Simons liked the way we worked together. Listen, I'm sorry I said your story was bullshit.
-It's OK; I'm sorry I called you a failure.
-Forget it, the main thing-- --did you call me a failure?
-All right, what do we know?
-Let me lay a little theory on you--
---I'm not interested in theory. What do we know? For example, Hunt's disappeared.
-Well, Barker tried to get blueprints of the Miami Convention Center and the air-conditioning system.
-And McCord was carrying an application for college press credentials for the Democratic convention. The Times has got to be full of it-- it can't be crazy Cubans.
-What, though? It can't be the Republicans--he'd never allow something as stupid as this, not when he's gonna slaughter McGovern anyway.
-Hey?
-Hmm.
-What do you think he meant, this particular incident? Were there others? How would we find out? You know anyone important?
---what do you think?--
---Hunt doesn't seem like your ordinary consultant.
-Maybe a political operative of some sort--
---a spy, you mean?
-You think they are confidential? I don't know anything about how this town works, I haven't lived here a year yet.
-July of '71.
-That was fun. What now?
-I met a Presidential aide once at a social occasion.
-What's that?
-Goddamnit--
---see?--
---I'm trying--
---fifteen phone calls--
----fifteen or more phone calls from the burglars in Miami to Gordon Liddy at CREEP--
-Why didn't we get that?
-Christ, and I even know somebody at the phone company--
-See her? Get anything?
-For the paper, no; for us, plenty. I waited a long time and finally this big guy--I guess a bodyguard-- he left and I knocked and she remembered me, we talked awhile.
-And?--And?--
---she was panicked, Carl--every time I mentioned Watergate, you could tell.
-Were you eyebrow reading?
-Who's first?
-I don't get it... this really was my turf...
-You're not a kid anymore.
-This is terrific work, if you like rejection.
-I never scared anyone before.
-It's not us, they were scared before we got there. What do we know?
-Facts or theory?
-Anything you've got.
-We know there's got to be something or they wouldn't be so panicked.
-And that something's got to be more than just Hunt, Liddy, and the five burglars--those indictments are gonna be bullshit when they come down. What else do we know?
-We never reveal our sources, which is why you can talk to us.
-We understand your problem--
---you believe in the President, you wouldn't ever want to do anything disloyal.
-I hate both parties.
-Republican?
-Sure.
-Who'd you vote for?
-When?
-'68.
-Did he just say what I think he said?
-I couldn't believe what she told me. Eight cups of coffee worth.
-Go on, go on--
---we've got to find out who the five guys are--the five with access to the slush fund--they were aware of the break-in.
-Then tomorrow's grand jury indictments will just be bullshit.
-It goes very high--we've got to find out where--
---we will--
---she was really paranoid, the bookkeeper.
-How do you want to handle Sloan?
-You mean, who's going to play the mean M.P. and who's going to be the nice one? Whichever.
-He's another Ivy Leaguer so he'll probably expect you to be understanding--might surprise him if you're not.
-You want me to be the bastard.
-Think Sloan's back? What's wrong?
---there had to be a White House overseer--
-Look--five men controlled that slush fund as CREEP--three of them we've got, Mitchell, Stans, Magruder, and we're pretty sure of Kalmbach.
---The L.A. Times has a huge interview with Baldwin--
---the lookout in the Motor Inn?-- --he say anything we don't know?--
-Goddamnit--
---shit--
---we gotta top the Times--
---I know, I know--
---if we could name the guys got the reports, we'd be ahead again--
---shit, who do we know?--
---I know a lawyer at Justice--
---has he got an ax?--
---almost every source we've used has been Republican, this guy's a card- carrying Democrat.
---I want you to shut up and listen to me--
---I haven't said anything--
---for the first time I'm beginning to feel like a fucking reporter-- Woodward, I got a tip. A guy called me up with a tip-- --someone named Donald Segretti contacted a bunch of lawyers and asked them if they'd like to go to work with him screwing up the Democrats, dirty tricks, shit like that. The FBI knows about Segretti-- Howard Hunt made a
-How high up, which Republicans?
-That's what we've got to find out, but Segretti went to Southern Cal. and so did a bunch of Nixon men--
---Haldeman I know, who else?
-Dwight Chapin, Nixon's appointments chief--he knew Segretti in school. Maybe I'm crazy, but this is the first time any of this starts to make sense. What were the three theories?
-The burglary was done by Cubans or Democrats or Republicans.
-Now the reason no one believed the Republicans is because there wasn't any reason, they were so far ahead. But Segretti was talking to these other lawyers a year before the break- in.
-So maybe Watergate wasn't really about Watergate--maybe that was just a piece--
---because a year before, the Republicans weren't ahead, not in the polls, Muskie was running ahead of Nixon then. Before he self- destructed.
-Segretti criss-crossed the country over ten times in six months--and never stayed anyplace over a night or two. Switch to another station, huh? You're driving me crazy with that.
-California, Illinois, Florida, New Hampshire--all the major Democratic primary states. Why does everything you play sound the same?
-What would you have done?
-You think we're being set up?--Christ, Deep Throat tells you last night that the letter came from inside the White House and up traipses Marilyn naming names.
-It makes a crazy kind of sense-- remember that initiation rite they have at the White House? Each new member of the President's staff has to prove his guts by getting an enemy of Nixon.
-You think this was Clawsen's initiation?
-He'll give us a sworn statement.
---That cash fund that financed the sabotaging of the Democrats--five guys had control--
---Mitchell, Stans, Magruder, Kalmbach--
-I think that's him.
-Who?
-Nah. Maybe.
-What if I went up and introduced myself--think he'd slug me?
-Well, we are trying to ruin his life.
-It's nothing personal, though.
-What's the matter?
-Same as Magruder, I don't like it when they turn out to be human.
-I wish we were investigating Attila the Hun.
---Jesus--
---Sloan told the Grand Jury--he answered everything they asked him-- that means there's a record somewhere--
-How many fucking sources they think we got?--
---Deep Throat won't confirm--I never thought he was scared of anyone, but he's scared of Haldeman.
-I know a guy in the Justice Department who was around the Grand Jury.
-Woodward?
-Hmm?
-What was the mistake? Do you think it's been rigged, all along the way, leading us on so they could slip it to us when it mattered? They couldn't have set us up better; after all these months our credibility's gone, you know what that means?
-You overslept?
-I finally got through to Sloan--it was all a misunderstanding that we had: he would have told the Grand Jury about Haldeman, he was ready to, only nobody on the Grand Jury asked him the goddamn question.
-What does it say?
-John N. Mitchell, while serving as US Attorney General, personally controlled a secret cash fund that--
---jeeeeeeesus--
---fund that was used to gather information against the Democrats--
---jeeeeeeesus--
---according to sources involved in the Watergate investigation. Beginning in the spring of 1971--
---jeeeeeeesus--
---almost a year before he left the Justice Department--
---jeeeeeeeeesus--
---to become President Nixon's campaign manager on March 1, Mitchell personally approved withdrawals from the fund--
---all that crap, you're putting it in the paper? It's all been denied. You tell your publisher--tell Katie Graham she's gonna get her tit caught in a big fat wringer if that's published. Good Christ! That's the most sickening thing I ever heard.
-Sir, I'd like to ask you a few--
---what time is it?
-11:30.
-Morning or night?
-Night.
-Look, you've been jerking my chain all day. If there's some reason you can't talk to me--like the fact that you've already leaked everything to The New York Times--just say so.
-Listen, I've got a dinner--can't we do this tomorrow?
-You want Barker's phone stuff or his money stuff?
-I'll never get out of here in time.
-The telephone calls... we know about that.
-The rest is Barker's bank records. It's mostly the eighty-nine thousand in Mexican cashier's checks--
-I never could figure just who this Dahlberg was. Think it might be anything?
-Sorry. Now if it was Hunt you were interested in--
---Howard Hunt?
-Sure. Him I liked, he was a very nice person. Secretive too, traveled all over, but a decent man.
-Any idea what he did?
-Oh, the scuttlebutt for awhile was he was investigating Kennedy--
---Teddy Kennedy?
-Hi, it's me. I'm still here.
-I'm so glad.
-I'd really like to see Mr. Dardis.
-And you will. But not now.
-I called him from Washington. He's the one who asked me to be here at eleven in the morning.
-Could you reach Mr. Dardis by car radio?
-Mr. Dardis does call in every so often?
-Well of course.
-Donald Segretti?
-I'm Carl Bernstein. My paper sent me out to see if I couldn't persuade you to go on the record.
-You can't.
-According to what we've been able to verify, you've been busy.
-I've got a lot of energy.
-Listen--we know you're involved in this--we're going to get the story, why not help?
-They never told me anything except my own role--I had to find out the rest in the papers.
-By "they" you mean the White House, don't you? Your buddy from USC, Dwight Chapin-- he works for the White House.
-I know where Dwight works.
-Do you feel much about the things you did?
-I didn't do anything wrong.
-Tell that to Muskie.
-Oh, maybe nickel and dime stuff.
-During the Florida primary, you wrote a letter on Muskie stationery saying Scoop Jackson had a bastard child. You wrote another that said Hubert Humphrey was out with call girls.
-Sometimes it got up to a quarter maybe-- --off the record.
-You wrote the Canuck letter--the one where you claimed Muskie slurred the Canadians.
-I didn't.
-But you know who did.
-None of it was my idea, Carl--I didn't go looking for the job.
-Chapin did contact you then?
-Sure--off the record.
-On the orders of Haldeman?
-I don't know anything about Haldeman, except, Dwight's frightened of him-- everybody's frightened of him--Christ, I wish I'd never gotten messed around with this--all I wanna do is sit in the sun; sit, swim, see some girls.
-It gets interesting if it was Haldeman, because our word is that when Chapin says something, he's gotten the OK from Haldeman, and when Haldeman says something, he's gotten the OK from the President.
-Can't help you.
-Harry, I just talked to a Miami investigator about Barker--
---so?
-I'm the one sent you to Toronto, Bernstein--
---that was awhile ago--
-Down to Miami and back--how much damage can I do?
---you got more than one source?--
-Speak.
---he was going to go into law practice with Segretti.
---no--
---and we got a guy in Justice--
-What's a real denial?
-I thought you guys were supposed to be working on this story-- --you think I like being aced out?
---it would have been nice to have had this, I sure would have liked to have had this--
---there's nothing new in it--
---if he did it or just said he did it, God knows.
---Bernstein, are you sure on this story?
-Absolutely--
-Hannah, I never would have bothered you but I'm off to Miami and they're gonna take away my ten speed unless I get it straightened out fast.
-Where are your bills, Carl?
-Oh, they're here. I'm keeping much better records now, Hannah. See?
-Hey... very tense.
-Lot of pressure at the Star. Carl, when we got married, you were four thousand dollars in debt; when we split, you were solvent. That may prove to be the outstanding single achievement of my life, and now look at this. How much did the damn bike cost?
-Five hundred; six maybe.
-You're two months behind--you got enough to cover?
-I think.
-Give me your checkbook then.
-I thought you had to get to Miami.
-There's always a later plane.
-You're a sex junkie, you know that, Carl?
-This is practically a high school reunion for us, Jane--I would have sprung for a classier place.
-Anyplace really public, they'd know about it--they know everything at the Committee, Carl--
---you don't really think you're being followed?
-This girlfriend of mine at the Committee, the other day she went back to the D.A. to tell the things the FBI didn't ask her. That night, her boss, he knew what she'd done. They control everything; that's how they know it all.
-FBI too?
-You don't believe me? Well, I was working the weekend of the break-in and my God, all the executives were running around like crazy--you had to practically wait in line to use the shredding machine--and when the FBI came to investigate, they never even asked me about it.
-If you don't like it down there, why don't you quit?
-I don't know what they'd do to me.
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-Hey, easy...
-You've really got to go.
-But I want you to know that I understand why you're afraid--a lot of good people down there at the Committee are afraid. I'm really sorry for what you're being put through.
-All those articles you people write-- where do you find that stuff?
-We don't tell anyone that. Which is why you can talk to us. And if we can't verify what you say someplace else, we don't print it. That's another reason you can relax.
-You were Hugh Sloan's bookkeeper when he worked for Maurice Stans at Finance, and we were sort of wondering, did you go work for Stans immediately after Sloan quit or was there a time lapse?
-One minute but then--
-I was just curious--you don't do it well, so I wondered. Have you been threatened, if you told the truth, is that it?
-...No... never in so many words...
-There are too many people watching me--they know I know a lot--
---it was all in hundreds, wasn't it?
-A lot of it was. I just thought it was sort of an all-purpose political fund--you know, for taking fat cats to dinner, things like that.
-Could buy a lot of steaks, 350,000 dollars.
-I can't be positive that it was used for the break-in but people sure are worried.
-Which people?
-The ones who could disburse the money.
-Who were they?
-There were a group of them--I think five, I don't know their names.
-It's awfully hot-- --and you haven't finished telling me about the money--
---omigod, there was so much of it, six million came in one two-day period-- six million cash, we couldn't find enough places to put it. I thought it was all legal, I guess I did, til after the break-in, when I remembered Gordon got so much of it.
-Gordon Liddy, you mean?
-It was all so crazy--the day after the break-in he gave us a speech, bouncing up and down on his heels in that loony way of his--Gordon told us not to let Jim McCord ruin everything--don't let one bad apple spoil the barrel, he said. You just know that when Gordon Liddy's calling someone a bad apple, something's wrong somewhere. ...It's all so rotten...
-Why couldn't you have just dialed me from the office, Irwin?
-'Cause I'm not calling out from the phone company anymore-- --I think the place is bugged.
-So tell me about the Times article.
-What do you want to know?
-No games, Irwin; give.
-My big civil rights buddy-- --boy, if John Mitchell was after your phone records, would you be screaming. What're you onto?
-Something maybe big.
-And that makes anything you do OK, is that it?
-Just tell me about the goddamn article.
-It was accurate, but I can't get a fuller listing for you--all Barker's phone records have been subpoenaed.
-Who by?
-A Miami D.A. The guy doing the investigating is named Martin Dardis.
---then again, maybe things are even worse than we've written--
-Try and understand this. I'm a decent Republican. I believe in Richard Nixon. I worked in the White House four years--so did my wife. What happened on June 17 I don't think the President knew anything about. Some of his men I'm not so sure of.
-Do you think the truth will come out at the trial?
-That's another of the things I'm not so sure of.
-Because people at the Committee were told to lie to the prosecutors?
-We were never told flat out "Don't talk." But the message was clear.
-To cover up?
-But they both worked at the White House?
-I will not talk about the other two.
-Right.
-Ordinarily, though, what was the procedure?
-What happens when the baby comes?
-I really can't talk now--
---this'll only take one second--
---I'm not your source on that--
---that leaves Haldeman, period.
---if we wrote a story that said Haldeman controlled the fund?--
-Then it's our asses, isn't it?
-Same kind of crap--
---I don't know, I don't know, it feels thin--
---well shit, we oughtta be tense-- we're about to accuse Mr. Haldeman who only happens to be the second most important man in America of conducting a criminal conspiracy from inside the White House-- --it would be nice if we were right--
-What's this?
-I don't think either Metropolitan or National should cover the story. I don't think we should cover the story, period.
-Go on.
-It will, it just hasn't bottomed out yet, give it time.
-Look--why would the Republicans do it? --my God, McGovern is self- destructing before our eyes--just like Muskie did, Humphrey, the bunch of 'em. Why would the burglars have put the tape around the door instead of up and down unless they wanted to get caught? Why did they take a walkie- talkie and then turn it off, unless they wanted to get caught? Why
-You saying the Democrats bugged themselves?
-I was told by this guy at the White House that Hunt was investigating Teddy Kennedy.
-How senior?
-Just tell me his title.
-I don't know titles.
-This is a daily paper, we'll explain it tomorrow. You're certain on Mitchell?
---I saw him. He verifies.
-I got Clawsen on hold--
---his dialing finger must be falling off--
---what do you think?--
---I'm sure--
-We can't talk inside either?
-Anything else from Mr. Throat?
-Mr. Caddy? My name's Bob Woodward, I'm from the Post and I wanted to ask about how you happened to come on this case--
---I'm not here.
-Douglas Caddy, the attorney of record, when questioned about his presence in the courtroom, denied he was in the courtroom, "I'm not here," Mr. Caddy said.
-Mr. Rafferty was very helpful. Four Cuban-Americans and this other man, James McCord.
-Look, I told you inside--
-What I don't understand is how you got here.
-I assure you, there's nothing mysterious involved.
-Probably you're right, but a little while ago, I was talking to a couple of lawyers who'd been assigned to represent the burglars.
-So?
-Did you know to come because one of the other men involved in the break- in called you?
-There is no reason to assume other people were involved.
-They are not my clients.
-You're a lawyer and you're here--
---I met one of the defendants, Mr. Barker, at a social occasion once-- --I have nothing more to say.
-A Miami social occasion? Mr. Rafferty told me the Cubans were from Miami.
-Barker's wife called me at three this morning; her husband apparently had told her to call if he hadn't called her by then.
-It was really nice of you to come, since you'd only met him once.
-Are you implying you don't believe me?
-I have nothing more to say.
-You claiming it was all a misunderstanding, Ken?
-Absolutely--Marilyn's gotten it totally wrong--
-She's an awfully good reporter--I can't remember her getting too much wrong before, can you?
-That's a bullshit question, that's a question straight out of Wichita, Kansas.
-Sorry, Ken; listen, one last thing: where did your talk with Berger happen?
-Where? What do you mean, where?
-Well, was it in a bar, her apartment, some restaurant--
---this should take only a minute, Mr. Dahlberg, but we're doing a follow- up on the break-in-- --and I was kind of curious about your check.
-...check...?
-The twenty-five thousand dollar one. The one with your name on it. In Bernard Barker's Florida account. Bernard Barker, the Watergate burglar--
-...you're definitely doing a story...?
-Yes, sir.
-That twenty-five thousand dollars is money I collected for Nixon in this year's campaign.
-I see. And how do you think it reached Miami?
-I don't know; I really don't. The last time I saw it was when I was in Washington. I gave it to the Finance department of the Committee to Re- Elect the President. How it got to that burglar, your guess is as good as mine.
-I saw the flag signal--what's up?
-Nothing, that's the problem--the story's gone underground.
-You thought I'd help out on specifics? I'll confirm what you get, try to keep you on the right track, but that's all. Are you guys really working? How much?
-I don't know maybe sixteen, eighteen hours a day--we've got sources at Justice, the FBI, but it's still drying up.
-Then there must be something, mustn't there. Look, forget the myths the media's created about the White House-- the truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.
-If you don't like them, why won't you be more concrete with me?
-Because the press stinks too--history on the run, that's all you're interested in. You come up with anything?
-John Mitchell resigned as head of CREEP to spend more time with his family. That doesn't exactly have the ring of truth. Howard Hunt's been found--there was talk that his lawyer had 25 thousand in cash in a paper bag.
-Follow the money. Always follow the money.
-To where?
-Go on.
-This man Gordon Liddy--he's going to be tried along with Hunt and the five burglars--we know he knows a lot, we just don't know what.
-You changed cabs? You're sure no one followed you?
-I did everything you said, but it all seemed--
---melodramatic? Things are past that--remember, these are men with switchblade mentalities who run the world as if it were Dodge City.
-What's the whole thing about--do you know?
-What I know, you'll have to find out on your own.
-Liddy--you think there's a chance he'll talk?
-My turn to keep you waiting. What's the topic for tonight?
-Ratfucking.
-In my day, it was simply called the double cross. I believe the CIA refers to it as Mindfuck. In our context, it simply means infiltration of the Democrats.
-I know what it means--Segretti wouldn't go on the record, but if he would, we know he'd implicate Chapin. And that would put us inside the White House.
-Yes, the little ratfuckers are now running our government.
-Who?--be specific. How high up?
-You'll have to find that out, won't you.
-What?
-I hope you noticed how coolly I behaved under the threat of discovery.
-Do Justice and the FBI know what we know, and why the hell haven't they done anything about it?
-They know, but they focused on the burglary--if it didn't deal with the break-in, they didn't pursue it.
-Why didn't they?--who told them not to?
-Someone with authority I'd imagine, wouldn't you? Don't you know what you're onto? Come on.
-Mitchell knew then.
-Of course--my God, you think something this big just happens? The break-in and the cover up, of course Mitchell knew, but no more than Ehrlichman.
-Haldeman too?
-Why did they do all this for Chrissakes?--what were they after?
-Total manipulation. I suppose you could say they wanted to subvert the Constitution, but they don't think along philosophical lines.
-Talk about Segretti--
---don't concentrate on Segretti or you'll miss the overall scheme too.
-There were more then.
-Follow every lead--every lead goes somewhere--
---the Canuck letter--was that a White House operation--
---don't you miss the grand scheme too.
-How grand?
-Nationwide--my God, they were frightened of Muskie and look who got destroyed--they wanted to run against McGovern, and look who they're running against. They bugged, they followed people, false press leaks, fake letters, they canceled Democratic campaign rallies, they investigated Democratic private lives, they planted spies, stole documents, on and on-- don't tell me you think this was all the work of little Don
-And Justice and FBI know all this?
-Yes, yes, everything. There were over fifty people employed by the White House and CREEP to ratfuck-- some of what they did is beyond belief.
-Fifty ratfuckers directed by the White House to destroy the Democrats?
---I know, I know, the pressure's off the White House and it's all back on the Post--
---you've done worse than let Haldeman slip away, you've got people feeling sorry for him--I didn't think that was possible. A conspiracy like this-- the rope has to tighten slowly around everyone's neck. You build from the outer edges and you go step by step. If you shoot too high and miss, then everybody feels more secure. You've put the investigation back months.
-We know that--and if we were wrong, we're resigning--were we wrong?
-Hello, I'm Bob Woodward of the Washing Post and... Mullen and Company Public Relations? Could you tell me when you expect Mr. Hunt? He is?
-Howard Hunt here.
-Hi, I'm Bob Woodward of the Post and--
---yes, yes, what is it?
-I was just kind of wondering why your name and phone number were in the address books of two of the men arrested at Watergate?
-Your name, please.
-James McCord.
-And what is your occupation, Mr. McCord?
-Security consultant.
-Where?
-Government. Recently retired.
-Where in government?
-...Central... Intelligence... Agency...
-Where?
-I'm so glad you could come, Mr.--
-You know, the paper was my father's and my husband's when they were alive and I was thinking back a year or two ago when Ben called me and said he wanted to publish the Pentagon Papers the next day. The Times had already been stopped from publishing anymore of them and all my legal counsel said "don't, don't" and I was frightened but
-I think so.
-Are you sure?
-No.
-When will you be, do you think?-- when are we going to know it all?
-It may never come out.
-Never? Please don't tell me never. Ben says you've found some wonderful sources.
-Some Justice Department lawyers and an FBI man, and some people from the Committee to Re-Elect, yes ma'am.
-And the underground garage one. Would I know him?
-I couldn't say.
-But it's possible.
-It is.
-You've never told anyone who he is? But you'd have to tell me if I asked you. Tell me.
-I would, if you really ever wanted to know.
-We're going to need lots of good luck, aren't we?
---you are ignoring the importance of the Dahlberg repercussions--
---nobody gives a shit about the Dahlberg repercussions--
---correction--when you were drinking your lunch at the bar of the Sans Souci--
---this White House guy, a good one, a pro, came up and asked what is this Watergate compulsion with you guys and I said, well, we think it's important and he said, if it's so goddamn important, who the hell are Woodward and Bernstein?
-Ask him what he's really saying--he means take the story away from Woodstein and give it to his people at the National Desk--
---well, I've got some pretty experienced fellas sitting around, wouldn't you say so?--
---absolutely--and that's all they do, sit sit sit--every once in a while, they call up a Senator, some reporting--
-Where's that cheery face we've come to know and love?
-You call me in on my day off because some idiots have broken into local Democratic Headquarters--tell me, Harry, why should I be smiling?
-As usual, that keen mind of yours has pegged the situation perfectly. Except it wasn't local Democratic Headquarters, it was National Democratic Headquarters-- --and these weren't just any idiots, these were special idiots, seeing as when they were arrested at 2:30 this morning, they were all wearing business suits and Playtex gloves and were carrying-- --a walkie-talkie, forty rolls of film, cameras, lock picks,
-Preliminary hearing at Superior Courthouse?
-...go on, go on...
-That's everything Bachinski had, I think it's worth following up.
-OK, get on this W.House guy and do a better job then you did on McCord.
-I did all right on McCord.
-Then how come the Associated Press were the ones found out that Mr. McCord is security coordinator for the Committee to Re-elect the President, otherwise known as CREEP?
-The head of security for the reelection of a Republican President got caught bugging the national offices of the Democrats? What the hell does that mean?
-Mr. John Mitchell, the head of CREEP, says it means nothing. "...This man and the other people involved were not operating on either our behalf or with our consent. These is no place in our campaign or in the electoral process for this type of activity, and we will not forget it or condone it."
-You can't believe that.
-What'd you get on W.House?
-Lotsa hints--
-Who's Charles Colson?
-I would liken your query to being in Russia half a century ago and asking someone, "I understand who Lenin is and Trotsky I got too, but who's this yokel Stalin?"
-Who's Colson, Harry?
-The second most powerful man is Robert Haldeman. Just below him are a trio: Mr. Erlichman is Haldeman's friend, and they protect the President from everybody which is why they are referred to as either The German Shepherds or the Berlin Wall. Mr. Mitchell we've already discussed. Mr. Colson is the President's special counsel.
-Thanks, Harry. Know anything about Colson?
-Whaddya got, whaddya got?
-So?
-I never asked them about Watergate. I only said what were Hunt's duties at the White House. They volunteered that he was innocent when nobody asked was he guilty.
---who you got?--
-Anything?
-Woodward's onto a new wrinkle with the break-in thing--absolute page one stuff--
---in other words, you got nothing, you're thumbsucking.
-Could develop.
-I can predict the next words you're gonna say: "anyone but Bernstein." I want to send a reporter to Miami.
-Anyone but Bernstein.
-Howard--
---remember Toronto, Harry.
-That was awhile ago.
-I don't get it--you were the one who wanted to fire him.
---has any of them got an ax?--
---listen, we didn't make them do these things--once they did, it's our job to report it--
---listen, I love this country, you think I want to bring it down?--I'm not some goddamn zany, I was a hawk--
---Harry, weren't you just arguing the opposite way?--
-More denunciations?
-What else have you got?
-Isn't that what you'd expect them to say?
---no--
-What do you think Mrs. Graham wants to see me for?
-Maybe to fire you--since you two started on this story, the Post stock has dropped, what, 50 percent? And the word is some Nixon people are challenging her TV licenses. I'm not saying she's going on relief, but I don't think it's unreasonable for her to want to meet you.
-You think she wants us to ease up on the story?
---which Young?
---and he says Chapin hired Segretti--
---well and good, but when will he say it on the record.
-Mr. Sloan?
-I'd like to talk to you, I really would, but my lawyers say I shouldn't until after the Watergate trial.
-Does "they" mean the White House?
-As opposed to the Committee? The Committee's not an independent operation. Everything is cleared with the White House. I don't think that the FBI or the prosecutors understand that.
-The report on the cash in Maurice Stans' safe, the three hundred fifty thousand, that's true?
-No. It was closer to seven hundred thousand.
-And as treasurer, you could release those funds?
-When so ordered.
-Colson's too smart to get directly involved with something like that.
-Haldeman. Right?
-I can't say anything, I'm sorry.
-One thing I'm not completely clear on--when you gave out the money to Liddy, how did that work?
-Go on.
-A boy or a girl?
---and it wasn't Ehrlichman or Colson or the President.
---look, when the Watergate grand jury questioned you, did you name names?
-Hi. I'm Bob Woodward of the Washington Post and I hate to bother you at home--
---I already get the Post. I don't need another subscription.
-No, I'm a reporter. I wanted to talk to you about the Committee to Re- Elect.
-The what to what?
-You work there, Miss Abbott.
-What the hell was that?
-Sorry.
-No, it was good.
-Oh, well... It came from the heart.
-I'll do it.
-Good work, Ostreicher.
-Thanks coach.
-You're a killer, Ozzy!
-Christ! I didn't say you were out of the game!
-Sorry, coach.
-Great evening, isn't it?
-Sure.
-What did you just say?
-Uh...you know, my friends call me Nova -- as in Casanova.
-Look, Chris. There are just some things you need to learn, that's all.
-Alright, well...you've got to tone it down. You don't need to go to Lookout Point and spout cheeseball lines to be romantic.
-...okay...
-You have to pay attention to a girl. Be sensitive to her feelings. Relationships are reciprocal.
-Perhaps you should consider actually answering an ad.
-Finch, you can be the one to date a nearly-dead insane chick. Eat your damn imitation hot dog.
-Good morning gentleman.
-Finch! Where were you last night? What happened to the foolproof plan?
-You're just gonna sit there and drink your coffee?
-Finch, don't you think it's about time you learned to take a dump at school?
-Ah, Stifler's mom! Thank you for letting us have a great party.
-As if there were any alternative in the matter. Are you enjoying yourself?
-I'm three sheets to the wind, ma'am!
-I'm so happy for you. Takes the edge off, doesn't it? And where might your date be?
-Oh no, no date. Bathroom incident.
-...Nevermind. You have anything to drink?
-I believe the kegs are upstairs.
-All right, I got some scotch.
-Single malt?
-So...would you object if I said you're quite striking?
-Mister Finch -- are you trying to seduce me?
-I had no idea you'd be this good!
-This is your plan, Finch?
-This. Right now.
-Of course, Finch. What?
-Whatever you hear about me, you agree.
-What are we gonna hear?
-You know, Jim...you could go back there...and...
-What do you suppose they're saying?
-Finch! Get to the bathroom! Now!
-Easy, tiger. What's in there?
-Just go!
-Why is this?
-You're gonna shit your pants!
-Charming.
-Finch, listen -- Stifler slipped some sort of laxative in your Mocash-chino or whatever. It's fast acting. I mean <u>really</u> fast.
-Me too. For the most part.
-I'll tell you, I've learned one thing: women, like wine, get better with age. Of course, I have no frame of reference for this comparison.
-Not bad, Chris.
-Really? Hey, thanks -- Heather, right?
-Yeah...so...you've got this sort of... Bobby McFerrin thing going there.
-Yeah. Right, uh-huh. I feel like I've discovered this whole new side of me. Music is so expressive.
-Oh sure. I know what people think. It's like, Oz, he's just this kickass lacrosse player -- I also play football, by the way -- But that's like...not <u>all</u> that I am.
-Of course, I didn't --
-I mean it really bothers me when people try to pigeonhole me like that.
-Yeah...so like, what else <u>do</u> you do?
-Well the same things you do. Hang out with friends and stuff, you know, whatever. What do you think I do?
-I just -- realized that I didn't know anything about you. I was interested.
-Hey, what're you doing here?
-Um...Chris --
-You can call me Oz.
-Do I have to?
-You can call me Ostreicher.
-What's your middle name?
-Forget it.
-Come on! I won't tell.
-Neither will I.
-Alright, cool. I gotta hit the showers, but...I think this'll be really good.
-Nice car.
-I'm glad you think so.
-You don't like it?
-What?!
-Oh, please. I asked you because I thought you might actually be worth going with. But you are just a jock. No wait. You're a jerk.
-What? No I'm not.
-I saw you making fun of me with your lacrosse buddies.
-I wasn't making fun of you.
-Why are you doing this?
-Because I want to.
-Hi...
-How did you know I was here?
-Stifler told me.
-You talked to Stifler?
-Well...I needed to find you. We are gonna have to practice that song.
-Uh...my dad's the manager.
-Really? Cool. Tell him his subs are great.
-My dad's always here running the store, busy and stuff...and I fill in once a week so he can get a night off.
-That's nice.
-So you're going to Michigan?
-Yeah, well my parents wanted me to go to Northwestern. I didn't want to write all those extra essays they make you do -- I mean, how am I supposed to know what my "most emotionally significant moment" was? So when my U of M acceptance came in December, I said the hell with it.
-Onions?
-What?
-You want onions?
-Oh, yeah. So what're you gonna major in?
-Well, State's got a good business school. And I can probably walk onto the lacrosse team. Green peppers?
-Yeah. So wow, you've got it figured out.
-Well, I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but what am I gonna be, a pro lacrosse player? I really have no idea.
-Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one.
-Well, you're not. Oil and vinegar?
-Yeah. You know, people are always like, "What're you gonna major in?" And I don't know. And they're like, "You'll figure it out." Yeah? When?
-I know. Salt and pepper?
-So we're gonna be close next year?
-You -- oh, you mean -- yeah, East Lansing and Ann Arbor.
-...I've got this lacrosse game. It's really important, it's our last game. And you know, Central almost beat us last time, so I really want to kick their ass, and it's like cool because we're gonna get to play at State, which means that after the game I might be able to stop by...
-You can't sing at the competition.
-I'm sorry, I totally spaced. I just...I didn't realize it...
-...it's okay, you should do whatever makes you happy.
-What about the game?!
-I'm not playing.
-You're missing the game for us?!
-There's something I've been meaning to tell you, Heather.
-What's that?
-This isn't the best way to proposition me.
-No, that's not what I mean. I mean -- look. You know what made me leave that game? Coach was giving this speech, about not slacking off when you see the opportunity to score.
-This isn't any better, Chris.
-Oz, it's okay, I know.
-You called me Oz.
-Hmm. You know that's really a shitty middle name!
-I can't think of anything to say that's not cheesy.
-Vanderbilt's not that far from U of M.
-Yeah right.
-What? We both have cars.
-Yeah but, no offense, you're talking about a post-high school, long- distance relationship, and you and Kevin haven't even done it yet.
-That's not why we're going out.
-What the hell are you expecting him to drive to Vanderbilt for? Milk and cookies?
-Jessica! He'll drive there for me, and I'll drive to Ann Arbor for him. We're going to have sex when he's ready and I'm ready. It's got to be completely perfect. I want the right place, the right time, the right moment.
-Vicky, it's not a space shuttle launch, it's sex. So did you do the physics write-up?
-He likes it.
-Of course he does. What about you? Have you just never had one with Kevin -- or have you never had one, period?
-I think I've had one.
-Well that's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You've never even had one manually?
-...I've never tried it.
-Jessica, can you drive me home?
-Ah, you'll get her back soon enough. That's easy, she likes you. What you need to do is learn to press a girl's buttons. You gotta give her what she's never had.
-What?
-I'll give you a hint. "Ohhh, yeah, yeah!" Comprende?
-You mean...and orgasm?
-You got it, stud.
-Well...I'm pretty sure I've --
-No you haven't.
-But that one time --
-No.
-Well of course I'd want to give her that. I mean, what do you think, I don't care about her?
-Do you?
-Of course.
-I -- I don't know, you can't ask me that.
-Well, if you want to get her in the sack, tell her you love her. That's how I was duped.
-I don't want to dupe her, Jessica. If I say it, I have to be sure I mean it.
-No comment.
-No comment?! Are you kidding me?! I've never seen someone's image change so...so drastically!
-Thanks. It was my idea.
-Did you guys hook up or something?
-Are you kidding? No.
-Then what the hell are you talking about?
-Well...I guess it's okay for me to tell you now. That reputation of his isn't going anywhere. Finch comes to me and says, "Jessica, I need help with this, blah blah, etcetera." So I told him, pay me two- hundred bucks, and I'll tell a couple girls that you're dynamite in bed. So he did, and I did.
-I don't get it, that really works?
-Oooh, yeah. Oh, baby, you're so good.
-Give it to me! Yes!
-Don't you love my sexy body?!
-You're so big!
-Fuck me! Yes!
-And you said...
-Nothing, I just hugged her back.
-You think she was serious?
-There's our man.
-Unlisted age, plus "youthful mind," equals old.
-Alright...I'm shooting for a nine o'clock ETA. Beer in hand by five after.
-You can crash at Stifler's?
-At least now I know what the hell they're saying.
-What about you? You're the one with the girlfriend and you're still stranded on third base.
-Gotta go.
-Ow, what the hell?
-Like a bet?
-That's what we are, we keep each other on track. Prior to this day, we've postured. We've procrastinated. We've pretended. We've -- well I can't think of other p-words, but we've probably done them too.
-Pontificated.
-Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable. But together, we are the masters of our sexual destiny!
-Yeah, it's like tradition or something.
-Right. That gives us...
-I have no idea. Finch showers in a bathing suit.
-No -- it's true. He is...really... big.
-Hey, where's Finch?
-Went home to shit.
-You can send me the address too.
-Well...dammit, if I'm doing this, how the hell am I gonna watch?
-Did I miss anything?!
-But, but -- what would I do?
-Anything! Just tell her it looks like she needs an extra hand or something.
-That's stupid.
-No, you're stupid. Get going! Right now! She's primed!
-Oh boy oh God oh crap oh no.
-Please, God. Let this be it.
-Holy shit.
-Hey, minuteman.
-How do you know that?
-Yeah? Well come prom night, those excuses aren't going to do you much good.
-Yeeeeeeeaaaawwwwww!
-Alright, how do you guys stand? Well, Finch, I know where you are, but you can't use that as an excuse. Jim?
-My date's a flute-toting band dork. That answer your question?
-Back out? You don't need <u>us</u> to get laid. You afraid or something?
-Kevin, come on, the bus to Stifler's is gonna be here soon.
-No, no that's fine. So you doing okay?
-What the heck is this?
-Can I come in?
-Yeah, sure.
-You're not...busy?
-Okay.
-I know, Dad.
-Dad! I know!
-Do you know about the clitoris?
-Yes dad.
-Sometimes it can be pretty hard to locate.
-Thank you, dad, I got it.
-Jim?
-Dad, please stop. Please. I'm sure I know what you're talking about.
-Sure you know, son, but I think you've been having a little problem with it. It's okay, though. What you're doing is perfectly normal. It's like practice. Like when you play tennis against a wall. Some day, there'll be a partner returning the ball. You do want a partner, don't you son?
-Yes.
-Son. This lady's here for you.
-Dad.
-Oh, no, not too much of a bookworm. He's a good little kid. Er, guy. Man.
-Dad!!
-Hold on. You have no idea why I'm angry?
-Is it because we have a test tomorrow? Sometimes I get cranky when I know I have a big test to study for.
-Yeah, that's pretty much it.
-I thought so. Because, one time? I was at this --
-What was your name again?
-Michelle.
-Okay. Michelle, do you want to be my date for the prom?
-Really? You seriously want to go with me?
-Yes. Seriously.
-Are we going to Steve Stifler's party afterwards? That would be so cool.
-Whatever you want.
-You know, at band camp? We have dances like this. Only they're way funner. Don't you think prom is just highly overrated?
-Stifler's mom got it in the divorce.
-It reminds me of this one time -- Hey, can I ask you a question? How come you don't have any stories? I've got lots of stories, and you don't have any.
-Oh, I've got stories, believe me. They're a little more risque than tales of Band Camp.
-Are they gross or something, like guy stuff? Tell me.
-That is a <u>nasty</u> story!
-I told you.
-Yeah, bring it on!
-So, the end of the story is...you had to kiss the guy for twenty seconds?
-Yes! And he was such a dork! And everyone laughed at me, but I didn't care? Because it was so funny!
-Okay, I get it.
-...excuse me?!
-This'll do.
-Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both, it'll desensitize you. I don't want you coming so damn early.
-Why, uh, what makes you think that I --
-Are you gonna do what I think you're gonna do?
-Don't you want me to?
-Oh yeah! Put it in your mouth!
-Illegal channels? Shit, if there's any channel that should be illegal, it's whatever that women's channel is. Lifetime Supply of Pantyhose, or some shit.
-Yeah -- hey, did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? That Ariel, whew.
-She's a mermaid, dude.
-Yeah, Oz, but not when she's on land.
-She's a <u>cartoon</u>, dude.
-A <u>hot</u> cartoon.
-Is there anything you don't jerk off to?
-You guys got the Latin homework?
-Ooh, here's an easy one: "Attractive SWF, fun loving and a youthful mind seeks outgoing companion." Okay..."Attractive"...ugly.
-This was remade? Into what?
-Who cares?
-Shortstop. 'Course, you don't make it to third, and you're out.
-Feels like warm apple pie, dude.
-Hey, you did better than I did, Nova.
-Hey guys, you came to watch me in action?
-You can do that?
-You've still got a chance with Nadia, right?
-I still think you're okay.
-There it is. I want to grab my bag. Oh, and my date.
-I'll just say that we had a great night together.
-Hang in there, buddy, you'll get there.
-It's true. I mean, after this, everything'll be different.
-After getting laid?
-What's up, fellas?
-Hey Sherman. Scopin' the babes.
-Indeed. Some fine ladies here, boys. Confidence is high, repeat, confidence is high. Sherman is moving to DefCon Two, full strategic arsenal ready for deployment.
-You've got something going?
-You did it.
-Yes.
-No...you...go...ahead.
-You are very good in the world history class, yes?
-Yes. No. Yes.
-Okay...that would be cool sometime. How 'bout tomorrow?
-Well, I do have ballet practice. Perhaps I can come by your house afterwards. I can change clothes at your place?
-So you need to change, right?
-James! You have come in here on purpose?!
-Well...uh...
-Shame on you!
-Uh...yeah...sorry.
-Well. You have seen me. Now it is my turn to see you. Strip.
-Strip?
-You mean like, <u>strip</u> strip?
-Uh...
-Move with the music.
-No, no, you must put your whole body into it.
-Nadia, I can't --
-Jim...
-You are done, James. Perhaps I should be going now.
-Did you see this? This is your more exotic dirty magazine.
-Yes...James, it is knowing that these beautiful women arouse you that arouses me...
-No, not again.
-I am sorry, Jim. I suppose we will not be doing any studying now.
-Stifler, you're such an asshole.
-SUCK ME, BEAUTIFUL!
-God dammit, Stifler!
-Ho-lee shit.
-Kevin! You seen Shitbreak lately?
-Oh no, Stifler, what did you do?
-It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky. You got in.
-"Dear Ms. Hughes. We're sorry, but after keeping you on the wait list for the past couple months, we've decided you are now rejected. Enclosed is a 100-page, full-color brochure on how rejected you are."
-Kevin, this is serious!
-Oh, Kev.
-Vicky -- do you think, maybe...it's time for us to take the next step in our relationship?
-Tonight?
-Let me know.
-Vicky, wait.
-I was being selfish. And majorly insensitive. And I'm a total idiot.
-I think "shithead" really says it.
-And I want to try to make it up to you.
-Oh...ungghhhhh!
-Oh Kevin -- don't stop!
-You're not doing the extra credit problems.
-No, I'm not. I'm writing a sequence of random numbers that look like I'm doing the extra credit problems. Mr. Bender doesn't bother to check homework past April.
-That's my trick!
-We've come a long way since Homecoming.
-Yeah, we have. You corrupted my four- point into a three-nine-five.
-Like how?
-Well, I feel that...things are getting to that point in a relationship. When two people share...a special moment between them.
-I think you're so right, Kevin.
-You want to do it?
-Kevin? Do you not love me?
-No, I don't not love you. I like, I know that we've definitely got <u>something</u> between us. Something good. Something special.
-But you don't love me.
-Kevin...you're not your dad. The two of us, we're not your parents.
-I know, Vick. I'm just not ready yet, okay?
-Hey...
-Did you know that it's...450 miles from Ann Arbor to Nashville?
-About the other day...I've been thinking.
-And I want to make things perfect for you. You're right, Kev, we do have something good...and special.
-Yeah, we have something great, Vick.
-Now?!
-See -- this is the nicest room.
-You comfortable?
-Yeah, are you?
-You sure you're comfortable?
-Yeah. Are you sure?
-Yeah.
-Me too.
-Okay. Did you bring a condom?
-So, do you want to be -- I mean, how do you want to do it?
-I don't know. How do you?
-Like, normal style. The...missionary position.
-Yeah Vick?
-I want to hear you say it.
-Victoria...I love you.
-That was a great night.
-I can't believe we just had our senior prom.
-Yeah, the time went by so fast.
-Kevin, next year...with you in Ann Arbor, and me in Nashville...it's not gonna work, is it.
-Don't say that, we can do it somehow. It might not be perfect, but --
-Vicky...last night...I wasn't lying.
-I know. Let's go. Don't you have something to tell your friends?
-What?
-You called me to ask me how to get laid?
-What was I gonna do, call dad? I don't even know his number.
-Just dial 976-Asshole.
-Yeah, well anyway...I thought you might have some advice, brother to brother. I mean, I think tonight she might, we might really, there's a chance that -- you know.
-Have you ever heard of the bible?
-What? Not <u>the</u> Bible?
-Well, that's not really the name, but we always called it that.
-Does it tell me how to get laid?
-You know what, nevermind. You're not ready.
-Ready for what?
-Say that again, Kevin?
-Try the spicy tuna hand roll.
-What?! How do I do that?
-Uh -- forget that. Look, is that all you're interested in? Ways to get your girlfriend into bed?
-Well, no. I think...I guess it would be good to be able to return the favor. I mean, it would be nice to know she enjoys things as much as I do.
-That's good, that's what I needed to hear. Now you qualify.
-Qualify for what?
-Hey. I got another question for you.
-Then she said -- she loves me.
-You ever hear of something called The Bible?
-Dude, I wish you wouldn't do that.
-And little hurly-burly came by in her curly-wurly, and asked me if I needed I ri-hide --
-How the hell do you know all these random songs?
-Contact, dude.
-Feeling better, Oz?
-I'm such a loser.
-I put in months of quality time with Vicky. Sherman meets a chick for one night and scores? This is just wrong.
-Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid.
-The Sha-lin masters from east and west must unite!
-So, I'm thinking prom is basically our last big chance.
-Dude, prom sucks.
-So does your tongue cramp up?
-What reputation?
-Okay, explain.
-Dammit, Kevin, what's with the attitude?
-Kevin, it was just a --
-...Guess what?
-And by the way, Sherman didn't even get laid.
-I guess we'll call you two-ply.
-Wow. You two really have something going, don't you?
-Yeah, but we'll still see each other.
-NOVA!!
-You coming to party tonight, Ostreicher, ya fuckface?
-Depends if my date wants to stop by.
-That junior chick?
-Nah, gave her the Heisman. I'm working on something new.
-Yeah right. I got an idea for something new. How 'bout you guys actually locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fuckin' use 'em.
-Dude, it's gotta happen -- she's a college chick!
-Bullshit. From where?
-She works part-time at my dad's store.
-Hah! Yeah, Oz, I bet it's more like your dad works at <u>her</u> store.
-You actually said that?! Haaaah!!
-I think you need your balls reattached.
-Keep it down, dude.
-What the fuck are you doing here?
-You dipshit, you're expecting to score with some goody-goody choir-girl priss?
-<u>Yeah</u>!
-Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo.
-Hey, you know, what can I say, I dig those cute little sweaters she wears.
-Oh my fucking God. You're gay.
-Come on, you know the words, sing along.
-Our last game is this Saturday.
-God, I can't believe there are so many cool people at this party.
-Here, babe.
-Really?
-I don't know if I want to be doing this.
-You know. If we hook up, tomorrow I'll just be some girl you go telling all your friends about.
-Hanging is nice. Never goes out of style. What about hare-kare - a taste of the Orient? But no! You're in Paris! Try the Guillotine! There's one in the Louvre!
-I'd use pills. They're painless.
-Let's face it. It's a, how do you say... mother-fucker. But we're all in it together. That's why we're trying to help you.
-Merde! Just missed!
-Geez, I feel bad for him. Maybe we should've told him abou -
-Look, the more you think about it, the harder it is.
-Just like sex with my wife.
-The key is don't look down.
-Also like sex with my wife.
-Tell you what, we'll jump together.
-Merde! I can't believe this!
-I mean, if by some miracle you can find the werewolf that bit you, and then manage to eat it's heart, the curse is lifted. I was gonna tell you but Marcel wouldn't let me.
-Either way works for us...
-Actually, I'm waiting for someone.
-God. How can you eat like that?
-Wow. You know Kung Fu or something?
-Ha ha. You were probably right about his mom.
-Hope I didn't hurt him too bad.
-Who gives a shit? I've had it up to here with arrogant Frenchmen.
-Up to there? Really? I bet I could beat that.
-Ha ha! Yeah right, white boy! Ha Ha ha. I think maybe I drank too much.
-Ah. The mating call of the blonde. The night is young, the moon is bright, whataya feel like doing tonight?
-Ahh! Jesus! You're burning hot! What the hell -
-Thanks for the lovely evening, shithead!
-Face it boyfriend. This is really happening.
-Okay... dead or undead... what do you want from me?
-A-duh... You're a werewolf. And we, as your victims, have to walk the earth until your curse is lifted.
-Look, I didn't mean to hurt anybody... God, I didn't mean to... to...
-Hey, you can't kick me! You're an apparition!
-Ha-ha!
-Oh fuck, you are his nephew...
-Yeah, that's the word. And you are?
-Serafine Flocquet. I work for your uncle.
-Sure. I can follow that.
-It's a fucking nightmare, isn't it?
-Yeah. True. The cops weren't much help either. Their theory is he was moonlighting as a drug dealer or something. Make sense to you?
-Police. They have their head in their asshole and they still can't find shit.
-Salots! Shitfucker!
-What?
-You must not have known him very well. He's not like that.
-Hey, Sorry if I was out of line.
-You were. I have work to do. The publisher wants the transcripts by Monday. Go. Make yourself at home.
-Fine. My mistake. You know, I'm gonna be a writer myself some day.
-Medusa... What's this? some kind of club?
-It's nothing. A stupid party. Not really a night club, it's, uh...
-Like an underground club?
-Yes. It's a bad place. Weird people. Strange things go on.
-Professor Claude Rousel. The one your uncle was working with. He teaches cultural history.
-I'm serious. There's nothing for you down there. It's dangerous.
-What good can you do? Why are you being so fucking stupid?
-Wait a second, are you like the Steven King of France or something...
-So you came after all. Just in time, it's getting interesting.
-Andy! Holy shit!
-Thank God! What a relief! I thought... After you disappeared... I couldn't find you... I thought all sorts of horrible things...
-What happened? Did you cut yourself?
-You have to be a hero. All Americans think they are cowboys.
-I was an Indian, actually. Man, that damn psycho paint...! If that's supposed to be mild, I don't want to know about medium. The planet earth. It's good to be back.
-Fan-fucking-tastic?
-Come on Serafine. Let's go out. Show me the real Paris, the part that isn't overpriced and overrun with German tourists.
-Go to Jim Morrison's grave at Pere Lachaise. It's overrun with American tourists. I have to work.
-What about food? Even beautiful women have to eat. It's true. I read it. Please? A half an hour? My treat? Pleez! Don't make go out there alone again! I'm begging you!
-What about your glasses?
-Don't you want to change?
-Shit! You bought enough pate for a fucking army!
-Like I should talk. Monsieur foot-in- the-mouth. I'm really sorry about that whole Woody Allen thing...
-So's Woody Allen. No, your uncle really helped me. I was sort of messed up for a while. Wasting my time just partying and... just stupid shit. He kind of woke me up, gave me a job, got me taking classes. You know, he and Claude, their work is controversial, but they're serious about it. Totally dedicated.
-That's what counts. If you're not passionate about it, don't waste your time. That's why I quit college... Plus I'm a lazy bastard. Wait, I know this... A votre sante.
-This looks familiar...
-Serafine...
-Fixing your makeup with a phone, huh? Who the fuck are you calling?
-Professor Roussel. There's something wrong with you. I know it.
-Hello?
-Are you okay?
-No, I don't think so... I was having a nightmare. Wait a second...
-Where did you go last night? What did you do?
-I don't... I... I can't remember...
-I'm not alright. We both know that. The only reason I'm here now is to warn you. You're still in danger. Gaston told me that Claude has got the curse too. He's a werewolf.
-I know. He told me.
-You two faced bastard. I knew you were full of shit.
-Because, Andy. It's a cure.
-Andy... I should never have let you go underground. I'm sorry...
-What makes you so sure this will work?
-I told you. He already tried to contact me once. If you saw his face... He was desperate to tell me something. I owe him this.
-I don't know...
-Listen, either he wastes away as a pathetic vegetable or he can give what's left of his life to save hundreds of potential victims. He's a McDermott. I know what his choice would be.
-They're coming!
-I saw him. Just before those bastards zapped him back. The ADM is in the wine cellar, in a bottle of Chateau Margaux.
-I didn't know he had a wine cellar.
-Are you crazy!?
-What the fuck!? You too!?
-I hope they fucking fry us all.
-Holy mother of God...
-Andy?... What? What is it? Andy... are you okay?
-It was you... That night in the tunnels. You. You did this to me.
-No I.... Andy, you can't be sure.
-You made me go there. I tried to stop you! You wouldn't listen!
-What was I? Your idea of a fuckin' hors d'oeuvre? Huh?
-Here! Come on! Do it! Go ahead.
-What...?
-We don't both have to die.
-We can't stop him. Not now. Handcuffed, with no kind of weapons. Please Andy...
-I know where he'll go.
-Where?
-Didn't even have to ask.
-No wonder he let her go.
-God. I can't believe it.
-What?
-What does it say?
-Whoa...
-After the revolution, the Paris cemeteries overflowed. They dug up all the old bodies and brought them here. Seven million people. Mostly very poor.
-Pretty stylish digs for a bunch of paupers.
-Well, they are French.
-These tunnels must loop around and connect.
-Okay. Be careful.
-Oh God. Shit...
-Hey! You shouldn't be down there!
-GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!
-Okay, what the hell are you up to?
-There's something down there! A bear or something! A god damn monster! Beau coup teeth! Huge, Grande, with yellow eyes, all this hair, it killed Serafine! My God...
-You on drugs? Huh?
-Pull over! Now!
-It's you. You should be dead in that wreck with Bazin and Racine!
-Shhh! Be quiet, man! We're not alone -
-In Paris we have an expression for people like you: Enculé d'Americain.
-Where's the ADM? Where did your uncle put it?
-Man, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
-Bullshit! Your uncle told you!
-My uncle's in a coma you moron!
-Before the coma!
-Saint Severin? The church? So you know all about the ADM! Where is it! Tell me! Tell me or else!
-Or else what? You'll kill me?
-No. But I'll kill your fucking girlfriend!
-Don't be an idiot! I'm not the only one. If I die, Serafine dies!
-Bullshit! You're bluffing!
-Claude...?
-The ADM. Let's go.
-So, if you and the nutty professor are both werewolves, what do you want with drugs? You like seeing lots of pretty colors when you're tearing people's throats out?
-What's the problem?
-Do you think I'm an idiot?
-Another step and he's dead!
-You bastard! God! I should've known. You wanted the cure all for yourself!
-Ha. Some wonder drug...
-Nothing's happening!
-You recognize her?
-We know you were with her.
-Oh shit... No...
-That's not all... Marcel - Officer Boulard was following you.
-He was a good man. Now his wife is a widow.
-Merde... Wait here. When I return you tell me about last night, huh?
-But... I don't remember anything, I swear...
-I always wanted to do that. I saw it in a movie.
-What about me?
-I'm sorry my friend, I'm not signing books right now. There's been a tragedy.
-It's horrible. Terrence was one of the most brilliant men I've known.
-Yeah, well, why did he hang out here? The cops said it's dangerous -
-Psychic awareness. Right.
-You think it's silly. But do you realize that young man is actually in a deep sleep?
-What?
-He's on a new drug called ZBH, or "Daydream". It allows the user to be fully alert and mobile while he's dreaming. He is literally conscious and unconscious at the same time.
-Andy...
-Yeah?
-You didn't know? But then why did you... well, don't worry. It's relatively mild.
-Not you too -
-You're exactly right, Andy. I enlisted both Serafine and your uncle to obtain ADM. And now I'm counting on your assistance too.
-"Simon ate of the heart of the beast and his soul was cleansed." These pictures are not just myth, Andy. The scholars of the day used them to record facts and enlighten the public. This is the medieval version of a newspaper.
-I don't believe we've been introduced.
-Great. Later on we'll have to get together for cocktails. Right now I kinda have to hurry before I grow a lot of hair and eat people. Say this heart thing works. What's it got to do with ADM?
-It's chemistry, Andy. Nothing more. Mutated antigens concentrated in the heart of the infector unlock a vaccine- like chain reaction in the infectee. There were not many bio-chemists working in the twelfth century, but with today's technology it's possible to synthesize any chemical imaginable. When I discovered this ancient cure I knew who to go to.
-Uncle Terrence.
-Yes. I was able to decode the old texts and give Terrence the specifications. It took a lot of trial and error, but finally he got it: Adenine Di-Methyloxide. ADM. I call it ADAM. But just before he was attacked, he hid it...
-Because Gaston was after it.
-Eight o'clock. Shit. You'd think my uncle would have left a clue, a note, something...
-It killed him... You coulda just used Draino. It's cheaper.
-All my life I've worked to unlock the power of the unconscious mind. Well this is it. This is power!
-Uncle Terrence?
-Andy? Andy is that you?
-Andy, I have to tell you about the dream I had - or that I'm still having - it feels like a systemic, physio- tropic reaction to some drug, maybe a triptamine or phenethylamine derivative. But it is hyper-real. I'd swear my legs had been cut off or... wait a second... I'm getting a strange meta-physical buzz. Shit. I'm, uh, dead, aren't I?
-Undead. Right. Sort of an ectocosmic manifestation. What a pisser. Tell you one thing though, Timothy Leary will be jealous as hell.
-Great, but listen, I need to know where you hid the ADM?
-The ADM! Be careful, Andy. It's very powerful. How do you know about it?
-Oh shit! No! Andy, don't let them take me back there!
-Where is it! Please!
-Uncle Terrence, you're...
-Yeah, I finally "checked out", thank God. But there's a bit of unfinished business.
-Claude.
-Andrew Mc-dair-mo?
-He's in charge but, uh, between you and me, my English is better. This way... So you're from New York eh? I love those Hill Street Blues...
-Jesus...
-How well did, er, do you know him?
-Not too well. He taught at the Sorbonne, right? Dad always calls him his "hippie brother". Did some work with Timothy Leary I think, and - Is he... is he going to die?
-No. The doctors say the machines should keep him going a long time. But basically he is, how you say, a legume.
-Legume? You mean, a vegetable?
-Vegetable, right. My mistake. It seems he was attacked by a maniac, maybe two or three maniacs, just after midnight. yesterday. They fled into the tunnels beneath Paris, that's all we know...
-What do you mean, maniacs?
-Well, here's what I think happened. A chemistry professor goes to a bad part of town late at night. Why? Perhaps he's making a few francs on the side. The psychedelic drug market is big these days. He gets mixed up with a bad crowd and, like they say, if you lie with dogs, you get fleas.
-Maybe we should go now. You must be very tired. We'll call if any new -
-I can't believe this. Why don't you go down in the tunnels and find the goddamn... animals that attacked my uncle?
-Yeah. I guess so. Did he say anything? Before the coma?
-Just the name of this hospital, St. Severin. He repeated it a few times then he lost consciousness.
-Why would he pick this one?
-I don't know. There were others much closer. He was religious?
-Not that I know.
-I'm afraid she's not so lucky. She's undead. And so am I.
-Aaaaa!!! Get the fuck away from me!
-Fuck you! If I'm gonna kill myself I'll do it when I'm good and ready! You can go to hell!
-Alright. Let me write a letter.
-What the hell, lots of my heroes killed themselves. Hemingway, Van Gogh... um... Herve Villachaise...
-Shit. I feel sick.
-Don't worry. In a few seconds you won't feel a thing.
-Yeah, well I don't know much about chemistry, but even if this stuff works, you better find it by midnight. Otherwise it's -
-Okay. So he's weird. Maybe on drugs. Still, that's not -
-I'm telling you. It's not drugs. It's something more. Someth -
-Don't give me your black magic bullshit! Seven mutilations in forty eight hours and all you find is a scrawny American boy? Do you have a motive? Do you have a weapon? Or do you want me to believe he did it with his own two hands?
-Enough. Cut him loose.
-I can't! At midnight tonight, he will kill again. It's crazy!
-Andy, stop! I think he can help you -
-Andy!
-Serafine? Is that you? What's going on?
-Claude, it's Andy, he's acting really weird, I think something happened last night...
-No, it's no cure. It's something much more interesting.
-You fucking liar!
-What've you got?
-Just a crazy call from a girl, probably fucked up on drugs. I wouldn't bother you but you said call with anything unusual.
-What did she say?
-Something about a monster, underground, in the catacombs under Place Denfert.
-I need two tactical assault squads at Place Denfert immediately. You can tell the commissioner it's a code red.
-But Inspector, this girl, I wouldn't call her reliable.
-Now!
-Merde.
-Here.
-Well?
-Okay. So maybe you were right.
-Twelve thirty-six a.m. here. Twelve forty a.m. here. There's two of them. At least.
-Two more nights in this lunar cycle.
-You better follow that McDermott kid. He's going to wind up like his uncle if he's not careful.
-Saint Severin...
-You never heard the story of Saint Severin driving the werewolves from Paris?
-You think that's what McDermott was raving about in the ambulance?
-Why were you so late tonight
-I was showing Sonya something . . .
-What were you showing her?
-How to read.
-I thought you were told not to tutor your servants anymore.
-Oh, Grandmama, why do you have to go back to Paris?
-"Together in Paris"! Oh, when can we be "together in Paris?!
-Hurry, Grandmama!
-Are you running away?
-Where is your home, Anya?
-I have to go now, before it gets light.
-But what if we can't ever find where we came from?!
-Anya! What if <u>we</u> can't find anyone who loves us?!
-Who did you hear it from?
-Providing travel papers is illeagal! I know Dmitri well - perhaps I can help you. Providded you have enough money to pay for this service. . .
-Well, I don't have any money . . .
-I was just wondering since we already have the dress. . .
-Noooo....
-Is everyone all right?
-We have to prepare you for an audience with Sophie.
-Who's Sophie?
-We're just going to refresh your memory...
-Did I tell you that?
-No! I look ridiculous!
-Come out! I can do alterations.
-You'll laugh.
-I shant!
-Oh, Meetoo! You look miserable! Oh, Vlad - look at him!
-Yes, your highness.
-Poor Meetoo!
-Yes, your highness.
-Fortunately, I am to be married. With your highness, permission.
-Vlad, stop acting this way! You're my friend!
-Ouch! That really hurt!
-I'm sorry. . . I'm. . .
-AND A SONG SOMEONE SINGS ONCE UPON A DECEMBER.
-People say Anastasia was the only member of the Royal Family to escape alive. That makes her an orphan too
-What happened to your parents?
-I don't know - I don't remember anything that happened before the revolution. . .
-You know, it's strange - Anastasia's grandmother, the Dowager Empress Tatiana has been looking for Anastasia since the revolution. Why do you think she wouldn't go to her own grandmother?
-I don't know. I don't see what this has to do with me.
-Why do you want to go to Paris?
-I have my reasons.
-You never thought of the possibility?
-Do you always punch people first thing in the morning?
-Sorry - it's a reflex. Living in an orphanage if someone bothers you - you automatically come up swinging.
-By pulling my hair?!
-I'm going to stretch my legs
-Come on up!
-Just what do you think you're doing?!
-Forged papers! Now, what?!
-Now just get off the train.
-Come on!
-You must enjoy causing me pain!
-You never said anything to me about having to prove I'm a Princess!
-Every Russian family has one..
-...fish fork, salad fork, meat fork and. . . [THIS SECTION ALSO NOT LEDGABLE]
-It's the best fork of all
-What a beautiful ship!
-You said you wouldn't laugh!
-It's so beautiful ... and sad.
-Sad?
-Lost. it feels lost. This was hers?
-Yeah ... well, yours. You still don't believe that you're the Princess, do you?
-I know I must have had something to do with the palace - I've had little flashes of things - but being the Princess? It doesn't matter as long as I find my home.
-Well, the only thing you've got when you've got a home is a fear of losing it! You're lucky you don't remember the revolution -- I never had much, but what I did have -- I lost.
-I'm sorry.
-Oh! I'm sorry...
-Nervous?
-Yes - If I can't convince Sophie, I'll never be able to see Tatiana....
-I'm so scared...
-Anya, wait!
-Tell me it isn't true?! Tell me you didn't do this for the money!
-No! Well, yes, but
-I'm glad you found what you were looking for.
-Dmitri?
-Don't let me go!
-Who are you, child?
-Do you remember this?
-PAR AWAY, LONG AGO GLOWING DEEP AS AN EMBER
-... and that Christmas dinner, when Cook made that awful plum pudding and we hid it in our pockets so we wouldn't hurt her feelings! I do remember so much now, Grandmama, - but not everything.
-Anastasia! It was just a bat! It's gone, dear...
-No, it wasn't a bat! I saw this horrible man - I remember him, I think...
-Don't you, child?
-Oh, yes, Grandmama - I wait until I hear...
-Dmitri didn't want the money?
-Why does everyone have to act that way?
-You'll have to become used to it, child, if you accept the crown...
-"If" I accept?! Of course I'm going to accept! it's what I always wanted!
-I wanted to come home, Grandmama - and I did. I came back to my home with you.
-You can't go back to find your home. Your home is in your heart, in the future that you make for yourself.
-And this is my future. This is who I am!
-This is who you were. Exactly who you are is up to you.
-I don't know who I am! I still don't know!
-I've spent my whole life waiting to find you ...
-What?
-Oh my God! Don't do that ... feel my heart. Go ahead. I'm dying here ...
-I gave you that tongue and I can rip it out!
-No, I really like my tongue... we're very attached. Oyyyy... Okay, now... promise you won't get angry.
-So, I'm cruisin' the rafters and... what can I say, I struck out. I thought chicks would like the fact that I can talk, you know but, I mean, the way things are going I couldn't get invited to a plague. Someone's gotta clean that up...
-Get to the point sometime tonight.. I'm late for a wenching.
-Trust me, it's her!
-How do you know?
-Hey, she's just a kid. And she's going to Paris outta sight, outta mind, outta Russia.
-I cursed then all!
-Do you have any idea what would happen if that broke?!
-You'd lose your security deposit?
-Yesss... our power is much stronger when were near. We must get close to her.
-I'm getting a chest cold..
-Bartok... a question.
-I'm getting pneumonia. I have a fever. Feel my forehead...
-Boy, don't you hate it when that happens?
-Bartok ... have you ever been to Paris?
-PARSE HOLDS THE KEY TO MY HEART FRENCH- BAT- CHICKS HANG OUT AT MONTMARTRE WE'LL EAT SOME IN-SECTS THEN GO BACK AND HAVE --
-It's no use, Dmitri - we'll never find the right girl!
-What was that?
-It's her.
-He's her?
-She doesn't want to do anything "dishonest". . .
-Hurry up with those papers.
-Wake up, young lady, that's our train.
-"Wake up, your highness" - we should start getting used to saying it.
-You're a princess...
-Well, she certainly has a mind of her own.
-What do we do now?
-See? The Princess is under there ...
-How is our current financial status?
-The "Odessa Dunk"?
-We did it! We did it, my boy! We're going to see Tatiana at the ballet tonight and we're going to be rich! Rich!
-But it's not the money, Vlad.
-Life is funny, isn't it. You find the right girl ... and then you lose her.
-What do you mean?
-But this invitation came from the Empress herself! It's the social event of the decade! You can't turn it down!
-So where will you go?
-So. You don't want to go to the coronation, eh?
-Rasputin!
-What do you want?!
-The same thing I wanted ten years ago - all the Romonovs dead I got the others, now I have to finish up with that nuisance, Anastasia...
-You're insane! You didn't kill the Romonovs - it was the...
-I'll show you!
-I need to speak with the Dowager Empress ...
-How much pain will you inflict on an old woman for money?!
-Please, if you'd just listen...
-I'm not Ulo and I won't slow down. But you will listen to me!
-Anastasia's music box... She had this all these years... You could have found it...
-I sent for you because I owe you a debt of gratitude larger than I can ever repay
-No. Empress, you --
-Empress, no! I will not take the money! I just came to tell you I was sorry...
-You are the boy ...
-I should go
-That last night in the palace... one boy showed us kindness and courage. You were the boy who saved our lives, weren't you? Please, is there nothing I can do to repay you?
-Promise me she'll have her home.
-She does.
-And tell me that she's happy.
-Rasputin! You're alive . . .
-Despite being shot, poisoned and thrown into an icy river . . . YES!
-I had nothing to do with it!
-You gave the orders!
-I did no such thing!
-May I present her Royal Highness Princess Anastasia!
-Are you impressed with our Anastasia?
-Oh, heavens - I must say, yes.
-Then, you'll take her to see Tatiana?
-Oh, heavens I must say... no, no actually, I can't - Tatiana has refused to see any more girls.
-Perhaps you could convince her?
-Hey, you on television?
-No. Yeah, once in a while. You know, like occasionally.
-What's your name?
-You wouldn't know it. It doesn't matter. What's the difference?
-You were on... uh, the... uh, the Johnny Carson, right?
-Once in a while, you know. I mean, you know, every now-
-I'm... I'm, uh, I'm Robert Redford.
-Come on.
-Fellas... you know-Jesus! Come on!
-This guy's on television! Alvy Singer, right? Am I right?
-Gimme a break, will yuh, gimme a break. Jesus Christ!
-This guy's on television.
-Can I have your autograph?
-You don't want my autograph.
-Yeah, I do. It's for my girl friend. Make it out to Ralph.
-Your girl friend's name is Ralph?
-Hey!
-What?
-Who's on television?
-Singer!
-Well, you take a meeting with him, I'll take a meeting with you if you'll take a meeting with Freddy.
-I took a meeting with Freddy. Freddy took a meeting with Charlie. You take a meeting with him.
-Not only is he a great agent, but he really gives good meetings.
-You're a thinking person. How can you choose this lifestyle?
-What is so incredibly great about New York? It's a dying city! You-you read "Death in Venice".
-You didn't read "Death in Venice" till I gave it to you!
-It's an important issue.
-You're like New York. You're an island.
-Excuse... excuse me, when do I go on?
-Who are you?
-Alvy... Alvy Singer. I'm a comedian.
-Oh, comedian. Yes. Oh, uh... you're on next.
-What do you mean, next?
-Uh ... I mean you're on right after this act.
-No, it can't be, because he's a comic.
-Yes.
-So what are you telling me, you're putting on two comics in a row?
-Why not?
-No, I'm sorry, I'm not goin'- I can't... I don't wanna go on after that comedian.
-It's okay.
-No, because they're-they're laughing, so I-I-I'd rather not. If you don't mind, I prefer-
-Will you relax, please? They're gonna love you, I know.
-Yes.
-that I've got to... ah... ah... They're gonna laugh at him for a couple minutes, then I gotta go out there, I gotta ... get laughs, too. How much can they laugh? They-they they're laughed out.
-Allison.
-Yeah? Allison what?
-H'm, I'm sorry, I can't go through with this, because it-I can't get it off my mind, Allison... it's obsessing me!
-It-but it-it... doesn't make any sense. He drove past the book depository and the police said conclusively that it was an exit wound. So-how is it possible for Oswald to have fired from two angles at once? It doesn't make sense.
-We've been through this.
-If they-they recovered the shells from that rifle.
-Okay. All right, so whatta yuh saying, now? That e-e-everybody o-o-on the Warren Commission is in on this conspiracy, right?
-Well, why not?
-Yeah, Earl Warren?
-Hey... honey, I don't know Earl Warren.
-Lyndon Johnson?
-L-L-Lyndon Johns Lyndon Johnson is a politician. You know the ethics those guys have? It's like-uh, a notch underneath child molester.
-Then everybody's in in the conspiracy?
-Tsch.
-I-I-I-I would leave out the men's- room attendant.
-You're using this conspiracy theory as an excuse to avoid sex with me.
-I-i-i-i-it's all right, fellas. Jesus, what'd you do, come by way of the Panama Canal?
-Bad mood? I'm standing with the cast of "The Godfather."
-You're gonna hafta learn to deal with it.
-Deal! I'm dealing with two guys named Cheech!
-Okay. Please, I have a headache, all right?
-Hey, you are in a bad mood. You-you- you must be getting your period.
-Two minutes, Alvy.
-No, I'm sorry, I can't do it. We- we've blown it already. I-you know, uh, I-I can't go in in the middle.
-In the middle? We'll only miss the titles. They're in Swedish.
-You wanna get coffee for two hours or something? We'll go next-
-Look, while we're talking we could be inside, you know that?
-Hey, can we not stand here and argue in front of everybody, 'cause I get embarrassed.
-Alright. All right, all right, so whatta you wanna do?
-I don't know now. You-you wanna go to another movie? So let's go see The Sorrow and the Pity.
-Oh, come on, we've seen it. I'm not in the mood to see a four-hour documentary on Nazis.
-Well, I'm sorry, I-I can't... I-I- I've gotta see a picture exactly from the start to the finish, 'cause- 'cause I'm anal.
-I'm-I'm-I'm gonna have a stroke.
-I missed my therapy. I overslept.
-How can you possibly oversleep?
-The alarm clock.
-You know what a hostile gesture that is to me?
-I know- because of our sexual problem, right?
-Stop it, Alvy!
-Oh!
-I-I-I mean, I'm comparatively normal for a guy raised in Brooklyn.
-Boy, those guys in the French Resistance were really brave, you know? Got to listen to Maurice Chevalier sing so much.
-M'm, I don't know, sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.
-You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.
-That movie makes me feel guilty.
-Alvy, I...
-What-what-what-what's the matter?
-I-you know, I don't wanna.
-What-what-I don't... It's not natural! We're sleeping in a bed together. You know, it's been a long time.
-I know, well, it's just that- you know, I mean, I-I-I-I gotta sing tomorrow night, so I have to rest my voice.
-It's always some kind of an excuse. It's- You know, you used to think that I was very sexy. What... When we first started going out, we had sex constantly... We're-we're probably listed in the Guinness Book of World Records.
-I know. Well, Alvy, it'll pass, it'll pass, it's just that I'm going through a phase, that's all.
-M'm.
-Alvy, now don't panic. Please.
-Look, I told you it was a... mistake to ever bring a live thing in the house.
-Well, maybe we should just call the police. Dial nine-one-one, it's the lobster squad.
-Come on, Alvy, they're only baby ones, for God's sake.
-If they're only babies, then you pick 'em up.
-Don't give it to me. Don't!
-Oooh! Here! Here!
-Look! Look, one crawled behind the refrigerator. It'll turn up in our bed at night. Will you get outta here with that thing? Jesus!
-Get him!
-Talk to him. You speak shellfish! Hey, look... put it in the pot.
-I can't! I can't put him in the pot. I can't put a live thing in hot water.
-Oh, God! Here yuh go! Oh, good, now he'll think- Aaaah! Okay.
-Okay, it's in. It's definitely in the pot!
-Annie, there's a big lobster behind the refrigerator. I can't get it out. This thing's heavy. Maybe if I put a little dish of butter sauce here with a nutcracker, it will run out the other side, you know what I mean?
-Yeah. I'm gonna get my... I'm gonna get my camera.
-Great! Great! Goddammit! Ooooh! These are... p-p-p-pick this lobster up. Hold it, please!
-All right! All right! All right! All right! Whatta yuh mean? Are yuh gonna take pictures now?
-It'll make great- Alvy, be- Alvy, it'll be wonderful... Ooooh, lovely!
-So, so-well, here's what I wanna know. W-what... Am I your first big romance?
-Oh... no, no, no, no, uh, uh. No.
-Well, then, w-who was?
-Oh, come on-I mean, I was still younger.
-He was creepy.
-Yeah, I-I think you're pretty lucky I came along.
-Oh, really? Well, la-de-da!
-La-de-da. If I-if anyone had ever told me that I would be taking out a girl who used expressions like "la- de-da"...
-Oh, that's right. That you really like those New York girls.
-Well, no... not just, not only.
-Hi. Hi, hi.
-Hi. Oh, hi. Hi.
-Well, bye. She laughs and backs up slowly toward the door.
-You-you play... very well.
-Uh... you-you wanna lift?
-Oh, why-uh... y-y-you gotta car?
-No, um... I was gonna take a cab.
-Oh, no, I have a car.
-You have a car? So... I don't understand why... if you have a car, so then-then wh-why did you say "Do you have a car?"... like you wanted a lift?
-I don't... I don't... Geez, I don't know, I've... I wa- This... yeah, I got this VW out there... What a jerk, yeah. Would you like a lift?
-Sure. W-w-w-which way yuh goin'?
-Me? Oh, downtown!
-Down- I'm-I'm goin' uptown.
-Oh, well, I'm goin' uptown, too.
-Uh, well, you just said you were going downtown.
-So sorry.
-I mean, I can go uptown, too. I live uptown, but... uh, what the hell, I mean, it'd be nice having company, you know I mean, I hate driving alone.
-So, how long do you know Janet? Where do you know her from?
-Oh, I'm in her acting class.
-Oh - you're an actress.
-I, uh... well, you're not from New York, right?
-No, Chippewa Falls.
-Right! Where?
-Wisconsin.
-Uh, you're driving a-
-No, no thanks. Hey, don't-
-Well, where is it? I-
-No, no, no, no, you just... just watch the road. I'll get it-
-For yuh.
-All right.
-I'll getcha a piece.
-Yeah... so, listen-you drive?
-Do I drive? Uh, no, I gotta-I gotta problem with driving.
-Oh, you do?
-Yeah. I got, uh, I got a license but I have too much hostility.
-Oh, right.
-Nice car.
-Huh?
-You keep it nice. Can I ask you, is this-is this a sandwich?
-That's okay, you... we-we can walk to the curb from here.
-Don't be funny.
-You want your tennis stuff?
-Huh? Oh... yeah.
-Yeah, thanks. Thanks a lot. Well...
-Well, thanks, thank you. You-you're a wonderful tennis player.
-You're the worst driver I've ever seen in my life... that's including any place... the worst... Europe, United... any place... Asia.
-Yeah.
-Who? Grammy? Grammy Hall?
-Yeah, my grammy.
-You're jo- Whatta yuh kid- What did you do, grow up in a Norman Rockwell painting?
-Yeah, I know.
-Your grammy!
-I know, it's pretty silly, isn't it?
-Jesus, my-my grammy... n-never gave gifts, you know. She-she was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
-Well...
-Well... thank you again.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-I'll see yuh.
-Hey, well, listen... hey, you wanna come upstairs and, uh... and have a glass of wine and something? Aw, no, I mean... I mean, you don't have to, you're probably late and everything else ...
-No, no, that'll be fine. I don't mind. Sure.
-You sure?
-No, I got time.
-Okay.
-Oh, you see an analyst?
-Y-y-yeah, just for fifteen years.
-Fifteen years?
-Yeah, uh, I'm gonna give him one more year and then I'm goin' to Lourdes.
-Sylvia Plath.
-M'hm...
-Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic, by the college-girl mentality.
-Oh, yeah.
-Oh, sorry.
-Right. Well, I don't know, I mean, uh, some of her poems seem - neat, you know.
-Neat?
-Neat, yeah.
-Uh, I hate to tell yuh, this is nineteen seventy-five, you know that "neat" went out, I would say, at the turn of the century. Who-who are-who are those photos on the wall?
-Oh... oh, well, you see now now, uh, that's my dad, that's Father-and that's my... brother, Duane.
-Duane?
-Yeah, right, Duane-and over there is Grammy Hall, and that's Sadie.
-Well, who's Sadie?
-Sadie? Oh, well, Sadie... Sadie met Grammy through, uh, through Grammy's brother George. Uh, George was real sweet, you know, he had that thing. What is that thing where you, uh, where you, uh, fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, you know-what is it? Uh...
-Uh, narcolepsy.
-Yeah, it's a great story, though, I mean, I... I... it really made my day. Hey, I think I should get outta here, you know, 'cause I think I'm imposing, you know...
-Oh, really? Oh, well... uh, uh, maybe, uh, maybe, we, uh...
-Well, I mean, you don't have to, you know.
-No, I know, but... but, you know, I'm all perspired and everything.
-Well, didn't you take, uh... uh, a shower at the club?
-Me? No, no, no, 'cause I never shower in a public place.
-Why not?
-'Cause I don't like to get naked in front of another man, you know-it's, uh...
-Oh, I see, I see.
-You know, I don't like to show my body to a man of my gender-
-Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I see. I guess-
-'cause, uh, you never know what's gonna happen.
-Fifteen years, huh?
-Fifteen years, yeah.
-God bless.
-Well, uh... You're what Grammy Hall would call a real Jew.
-Oh, thank you.
-Yeah, well... you- She hates Jews. She thinks that they just make money, but let me tell yuh, I mean, she's the one yeah, is she ever. I'm tellin' yuh.
-So, did you do shoot the photographs in there or what?
-Well, I don't know. I mean, I guess- I guess you must be sorta late, huh?
-You know, I gotta get there and begin whining soon... otherwise I- Hey... well, are you busy Friday night?
-Me? Oh, uh. No.
-Oh, I'm sorry, wait a minute, I have something. Well, what about Saturday night?
-Oh... nothing. Not-no, no!
-Oh, you... you're very popular, I can see.
-I know.
-Gee, boy, what do you have? You have plague?
-Well, I mean, I meet a lot of... jerks, you know-
-Yeah, I meet a lotta jerks, too.
-what I mean?
-think that's, uh-
-But I'm thinking about getting some cats, you know, and then they... Oh, wait a second-oh, no, no, I mean oh, shoot! No, Saturday night I'm gonna- gonna sing. Yeah.
-You're gonna sing? Do you sing? Well, no, it isn't No kidding? this is my first time. Oh, really? Where? I'd like to come. Oh, no, no, no, no, no! No, I'm interested!
-Oh, no-I mean, I'm just a-auditioning sort of at club. I don't-
-No, so help me.
-it's my first time.
-That's okay, 'cause I know exactly what that's like. Listen-
-Yeah.
-I was awful. I'm so ashamed! I can't sing.
-Oh, listen, so the audience was a tad restless.
-Whatta you mean, a tad restless? Oh, my God, I mean, they hated me.
-No, they didn't. You have a wonderful voice.
-No, I'm gonna quit!
-No, I'm not gonna letcha. You have a great voice.
-Really, do you think so, really?
-Yeah!
-Yeah?
-It's terrific.
-Hey, listen, listen.
-What?
-Gimme a kiss.
-Really?
-Yeah, why not, because we're just gonna go home later, right?
-Yeah.
-And-and uh, there's gonna be all that tension. You know, we never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right move or anything. So we'll kiss now we'll get it over with and then we'll go eat. Okay?
-Oh, all right.
-And we'll digest our food better.
-Okay.
-Okay?
-We can digest our-
-I'm gonna have a corned beef.
-Yeah... oh, uh, and I'm gonna have a pastrami on white bread with, uh, mayonnaise and tomatoes and lettuce. Tsch, so, uh, your second wife left you and, uh, were you depressed about that?
-Nothing that a few mega-vitamins couldn't cure.
-Oh. And your first wife was Allison?
-My first... Yes, she was nice, but you know, uh, it was my fault. I was just... I was too crazy.
-M'm, that was so nice. That was nice.
-As Balzac said...
-H'm?
-"There goes another novel." Jesus, you were great.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm a wreck.
-No. You're a wreck.
-Really. I mean it. I-I'll never play the piano again.
-You're really nuts. I don't know, you really thought it was good? Tell me.
-Good? I was-
-No.
-No, that was the most fun I've ever had without laughing.
-Here, you want some?
-No, no, I-I-i, uh, I don't use any major hallucinogenics because I took a puff like five years ago at a party and
-Yeah?
-I tried to take my pants off over my head... ...my ear.
-Oh, I don't know, I don't really. I don't do it very often, you know, just sort of, er... relaxes me at first.
-M'hm. You're not gonna believe this, but-
-Hey?
-H'm?
-I-I-I'm gonna buy you these books, I think, because I-I think you should read them. You know, instead of that cat book.
-That's, uh... that's pretty serious stuff there.
-Yeah, 'cause I-I'm, you know, I'm, I'm obsessed with-with, uh, with death, I think. Big-
-Yeah?
-big subject with me, yeah.
-I've a very pessimistic view of life. You should know this about me if we're gonna go out, you know. I-I-I feel that life is-is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
-M'hm.
-Those are the two categories...
-M'hm.
-...you know, they're- The-the horrible would be like, uh, I don't know, terminal cases, you know?
-M'hm.
-And blind people, crippled...
-Yeah.
-I don't-don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me.
-M'hm.
-You know, and the miserable is everyone else. That's-that's all. So- so when you go through life you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's- You're very lucky... to be... ...to be miserable.
-Look, look at that guy.
-M'hm.
-There's-there's-there's-there's Mr. When-in-the-Pink, Mr. Miami Beach, there, you know? He's the latest! just came back from the gin-rummy farm last night. He placed third.
-Look at these guys.
-Yeah.
-Oh, that's hilarious. They're back from Fire Island. They're... they're sort of giving it a chance-you know what I mean?
-Oh! Italian, right?
-Yeah, he's the Mafia. Linen Supply Business or Cement and Contract, you know what I mean?
-Oh, yeah.
-No, I'm serious. I just got my mustache wet.
-Oh, yeah?
-You see, like you and I...
-You are extremely sexy.
-No, I'm not.
-Unbelievably sexy. Yes, you are. Because... you know what you are? You're-you're polymorphously perverse.
-Well, what does-what does that mean? I don't know what that is.
-Uh... uh, you're-you're exceptional in bed because you got -you get pleasure in every part of your body when I touch you.
-You know what I mean? Like the tip o'your nose, and if I stroke your teeth or your kneecaps... you get excited.
-Come on. Yeah. You know what? You know, I like you, I really mean it. I really do like you.
-You- Do you love me?
-Do I love you?
-That's the key question.
-Yeah.
-I know you've only known me a short while.
-Well, I certainly... I think that's very- Yeah, yeah... yeah. Do you love me?
-I-uh, love is, uh, is too weak a word for what...
-Yeah.
-I love you. You know I lo-ove you, I-I love you. I-I have to invent- Of course I love you.
-Yeah.
-Don't you think I do?
-Whatta you mean? You're not gonna give up your own apartment, are you?
-Of course.
-Yeah, bu-bu-but why?
-Well, I mean, I'm moving in with you, that's why.
-Yeah, but you-you got a nice apartment.
-I have a tiny apartment.
-Yeah, I know it's small.
-That's right, and it's got bad plumbing and bugs.
-All right, granted, it has bad plumbing and bugs, but you-you say that like it's a negative thing. You know, bugs are-are-uh, entomology is a... ...rapidly growing field.
-You don't want me to live with you?
-How- I don't want you to live with me? How- Whose idea was it?
-Mine.
-Ye-ah. Was it... It was yours actually, but, uh, I approved it immediately.
-I guess you think that I talked you into something, huh?
-How is it any different?
-That little apartment is four hundred dollars a month, Alvy.
-That place is four hundred dollars a month?
-Yes, it is.
-It's-it's got bad plumbing and bugs. Jesus, I'll-My accountant will write it off as a tax deduction, I'll pay for it.
-You don't think I'm smart enough to be serious about.
-Then why are you always pushing me to take those college courses like I was dumb or something?
-Does this sound like a good course? Uh, "Modern American Poetry"? Uh, or, uh-let's see now... maybe I should, uh, take "Introduction to the Novel."
-Just don't take any course where they make you read Beowulf.
-No, don't be silly. What-what do we need other people for? You know, we should-we should just turn out the lights, you know, and play hide and seek or something.
-Well, okay. Well, listen, I'm gonna get a cigarette, okay?
-Yeah, grass, right? The illusion that it will make a white woman more like Billie Holiday.
-Well, have you ever made love high?
-Me, no. You... I-I-you know, if I have grass or alcohol or anything I get unbearably wonderful. I get too, too wonderful for words. You know, I don't-I don't know why you have to, uh, get high every time we make love.
-It relaxes me.
-Oh, you-you have to be artificially relaxed before we can go to bed?
-Well, what's the difference, anyway?
-Well, I'll give you a shot of sodium pentothal. You can sleep through it.
-Oh, come on, look who's talking. You've been seeing a psychiatrist for fifteen years. You should smoke some o' this. You'd be off the couch in no time.
-What are you doing?
-No, no, no, what... You can once, you can live without it once. Come on.
-Oh, no, Alvy, please. Alvy, please. M'mrnm.
-M'm, wait, I got a great idea. Hang in there for a second. I got a little-little artifact. A little erotic artifact, that-that I brought up from the city, which I think, uh, is gonna be perfect. I just... there... There's a little Old New Orleans... essence. Now-now we can go about our business here and we can even develop photographs if we want
-Uh-uh-why?
-I don't know. You- It's like you're- you're removed.
-Really?
-U-huh.
-I don't know, but you seem sort of distant.
-Let's just do it, all right?
-Oh, you have my body.
-Yeah, but that's not-that's no good. I want the whole thing.
-Well, I need grass and so do you.
-Well, it ruins it for me if you have grass because, you know, I'm, like, a comedian-
-M'hm.
-so if I get a laugh from a person who's high, it doesn't count. You know-'cause they're always laughin'.
-Were you always funny?
-Alvy, you were... Alvy, you were just great, I'm not kidding. It was- You were so neat.
-C-c-coll- College audiences are so wonderful.
-Yeah. Yeah. And you know something? I think that I'm starting to get more of your references, too.
-Are yuh?
-Yeah.
-You're so sure about it.
-Yeah, I know, they'll hate me immediately. Thank you.
-No, I don't think so. No, I don't think they're gonna hate you at all. On the contrary, I think-
-Yeah.
-You followed me. I can't believe it!
-I didn't follow you!
-You followed me!
-Why? 'Cause I... was walkin' along a block behind you staring at you? That's not following!
-Well, what is your definition of following?
-Following is different. I was spying.
-Do you realize how paranoid you are?
-Paranoid? I'm looking at you. You got your arms around another guy.
-That is the worst kind of paranoia.
-Yeah-well, I didn't start out spying. I-I thought I'd surprise yuh. Pick you up after school.
-Yeah-well, you wanted to keep the relationship flexible, remember? It's your phrase.
-Oh, stop it. But you were having an affair with your college professor. That jerk that teaches that incredible crap course "Contemporary Crisis in Western Man"!
-"Existential Motifs in Russian Literature"! You're really close.
-What's the difference? It's all mental masturbation.
-Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.
-We're not having an affair. He's married. He just happens to think I'm neat.
-"Neat"! There's that- What are you- twelve years old? That's one o' your Chippewa Falls expressions! "He thinks I'm neat."
-Who cares? Who cares?
-You've always had hostility toward David ever since I mentioned him!
-David? You call your teacher David?
-It's his name.
-I'm home!
-Oh, yeah? How'd it go?
-Oh, it was... really weird. But she's a very nice woman.
-Yeah?
-And I didn't have to lie down on the couch, Alvy, she had me sitting up. So I told her about-about the-the family and about my feelings toward men and about my relationship with my brother.
-M'm.
-And then she mentioned penis envy... Did you know about that?
-Me? I'm-I'm one of the few males who suffers from that, so, so... you know.
-M'hm.
-G-go on, I'm interested.
-Well, she said that I was very guilty about my impulses toward marriage, and-and children.
-M'hm.
-And then I remembered when I was a kid how I accidentally saw my parents making love.
-Tsch. Rea- All this happened in the first hour?
-M'hm.
-That's amazing. I-I-I... I've been goin' for fifteen years, I-you know, I don't got... nothing like that in-
-Oh, I told her my dream and then I cried.
-You cried? I've never once cried. Fantastic...
-Yeah.
-I whine. I-I-I sit and I whine.
-In-in... Alvy, in my dream Frank Sinatra is holding his pillow across my face and I can't breathe.
-Sinatra?
-Yeah, and he's strangling me...
-Yeah?
-and I keep, you know, it's-
-Well, well, sure... because he's a singer and you're a singer, you know, so it's perfect. So you're trying to suffocate yourself. It-it makes perfect sense. Uh, uh, that's a perfect analytic... kind of insight.
-She said, your name was Alvy Singer.
-Whatta you mean? Me?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, you. Because in the dream... I break Sinatra's glasses.
-Sinatra had gl- You never said Sinatra had glasses. So whatta you saying that I-I'm suffocating you?
-Oh, and God, Alvy, I did... this really terrible thing to him. Because then when he sang it was in this real high-pitched voice.
-Tsch, what'd the doctor say?
-Well, she said that I should probably come five times a week. And you know something? I don't think I mind analysis at all. The only question is, will it change my wife?
-Will it change your wife?
-Will it change my life?
-Yeah, but you said, "Will it change my wife"!
-No, I didn't. I said, "Will it change my life," Alvy.
-You said, "Will it change..." Wife. Will it change...
-She said, "Will it change my wife." You heard that because you were there so I'm not crazy.
-Adult education is such junk! The professors are so phony. How can you do it?
-A bit rapidly. I don't care what you say about David, he's a perfectly fine teacher!
-David! David! I can't believe this!
-And what are you doing following me around for, anyway?
-I'm following you and David, if you-
-What's- It's me, open up.
-Oh.
-Are you okay? What's the matter? Are you all right? What-
-There's a spider in the bathroom.
-What?
-There's a big black spider in the bathroom.
-That's what you got me here for at three o'clock in the morning, 'cause there's a spider in the bathroom?
-My God, I mean, you know how I am about insects.
-Oooh.
-I can't sleep with a live thing crawling around in the bathroom.
-Kill it! For Go- What's wrong with you? Don't you have a can of Raid in the house?
-I told you a thousand times you should always keep, uh, a lotta insect spray. You never know who's gonna crawl over.
-I know, I know, and a first-aid kit and a fire extinguisher.
-Jesus. All right, gimme a magazine. I- 'cause I'm a little tired. You know, you, you joke with-about me, you make fun of me, but I'm prepared for anything. An emergency, a tidal wave, an earthquake. Hey, what is this? What? Did you go to a rock concert?
-Yeah.
-Oh, yeah, really? Really? How-how'd you like it? Was it-was it, I mean, did it... was it heavy? Did it achieve total heavy-ocity? Or was it, uh...
-It was just great!
-What is this? What are you, since when do you read the "National Review"? What are you turning in to?
-Well, I like to try to get all points of view.
-It's wonderful. Then why don'tcha get William F. Buckley to kill the spider?
-Well, I was in be- It's three o'clock in the morning. You, uh, you got me outta bed, I ran over here, I couldn't get a taxi cab. You said it was an emergency, and I didn't ge- I ran up the stairs. Hell - I was a lot more attractive when the evening began. Look, uh, tell- Whatta you- Are you going with
-Would you like a glass of chocolate milk?
-Hey, what am I-your son? Whatta you mean? I-I came over to --
-I got the good chocolate, Alvy.
-Yeah, where is the spider?
-It really is lovely. It's in the bathroom.
-Is he in the bathroom?
-Hey, don't squish it, and after it's dead, flush it down the toilet, okay? And flush it a couple o' times.
-Darling, darling, I've been killing spiders since I was thirty, okay?
-Oh. What?
-Very big spider.
-Yeah?
-Two?
-Yep. I didn't think it was that big, but it's a major spider. You got a broom or something with a-
-Oh, I-I left it at your house.
-snow shovel or anything or something.
-Okay, let me have this.
-Well, what are you doing... what are you doing with-
-Hey, what is this? You got black soap?
-It's for my complexion.
-Whatta-whatta yuh joining a minstrel show? Geez. Don't worry! I did it! I killed them both. What- what's the matter? Whatta you- whatta you sad about? You- What'd you want me to do? Capture 'em and rehabilitate 'em?
-Oh, don't go, okay? Please.
-Whatta you mean, don't go? Whatta- whatta what's the matter? Whatta you expecting termites? What's the matter?
-Oh, Jesus, really?
-Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh! Alvy?
-Was there somebody in your room when I called you?
-W-w-whatta you mean?
-I mean was there another- I thought I heard a voice.
-Oh, I had the radio on.
-Yeah?
-I'm sorry. I had the television set had the television-
-Alvy, let's never break up again. I don't wanna be apart.
-Oh, no, no, I think we're both much too mature for something like that.
-Living together hasn't been so bad, has it?
-It's all right for me, it's been terrific, you know? Better than either one of my marriages. See, 'cause... 'cause there's just something different about you. I don't know what it is, but it's great.
-You know I think that if you let me, maybe I could help you have more fun, you know? I mean, I know it's hard and... Yeah.
-I don't know.
-Alvy, what about... what if we go away this weekend, and we could-
-Tsch, why don't we get... why don't we get Rob, and the three of us'll drive into Brooklyn, you know, and we show you the old neighborhood.
-Okay, okay. Okay.
-That'd be fun for yuh. Don't you think-
--me, my God, it's a great day!
-Oh, look, look, there's that... that's that's my old house. That's where we used to live.
-Well, I had a really good day, you know that? It was just a real fine way to spend my birthday.
-Ah? Oh, well, your birthday's not till tomorrow, honey, I hate to tell yuh.
-Yeah, but it's real close.
-Yeah, but no presents till midnight.
-Happy birthday.
-What is this? Is this a... Present? Are you kidding?
-Yeah, hey, why don't yuh try it on?
-Uh, yeah, uh... t-t-this is more like a present for you, yeah, but it's-
-Try it... it'll add years to our sex life.
-Here's a real present.
-What... huh?
-Check it out.
-Oh, yeah? What is this, anyway? Let me see. Okay, let's... oooh, God! Oh, you knew I wanted this... God, it's terrific, God!
-Yeah, I know. Just-just put on the watch, and-and... that thing, and we'll just...
-You were-you were sensational. I mean, I-you know, I-I told yuh that if yuh stuck to it, you would be great, and-and, you know, I-I-you- you were sensational.
-Remember, we had that thing.
-What thing?
-Don't you remember we-we-we discussed that thing that we were-
-Thing?
-yes, we had, uh...
-What's... you... well, what's the matter, You w-wanna go to that party?
-I don't know, I thought it might be kind of fun, you know what I mean, it'd be nice to meet some new people.
-I'm just not... you know, I don't think I could take a mellow eve- 'cause I-I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I-I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I-I ripen and then rot. You know, and it's-it's not good for my...
-That day in Brooklyn was the last day I remember really having a great time.
-Well, we never have any laughs anymore, is the problem.
-Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.
-Constantly! I'd say three times a week. Like the other night, Alvy wanted to have sex.
-She would not sleep with me the other night, you know, it's-
-And... I don't know... I mean, six months ago I-I woulda done it. I woulda done it, just to please him.
-I mean... I tried everything, you know, I-I-I put on soft music and my- my red light bulb, and...
-But the thing is-I mean, since our discussions here, I feel I have a right to my own feelings. I think you woulda been happy because... uh, uh, I really asserted myself.
-The incredible thing about it is, I'm paying for her analysis and she's making progress and I'm getting screwed.
-I don't know, though, I feel so guilty because Alvy is paying for it, so, you know, so I do feel guilty if I don't go to bed with him. But if I do go to bed with him, it's like I'm going against my own feelings. I don't know I-I can't win.
-You know... it's getting expensive my analyst... for her analyst. She- she's making progress and I'm not making any progress. Her progress is defeating my progress.
-You never wanna try anything new, Alvy.
-How can you say that? I mean, who said I-I-I-I said that you, I and that girl from your acting class should sleep together in a threesome.
-That's sick!
-Yeah. Come on. It'd be fun.
-Oh, I'm sure it's a lot of fun, 'cause the Incas did it, you know, and-and they-they-they were a million laughs.
-...I'm thrilled. As you know, uh... uh, on my agent's advice I sold out, and I'm gonna do an appearance on TV.
-God.
-God, it's so clean out here.
-Oh, oh, no, I can't-I can't eat this. I'm nauseous. If you could-if you could just give me something to get me through the next two hours, you know I-I have to go out to Burbank... and give out an award on a TV show.
-Excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Doctor. Uh, Alvy-Alvy, that was the show. They said everything is fine. They found a replacement, so they're going to tape without you.
-Christ!
-Yeah, this place is great.
-I'm into garbage. It's my thing.
-Oh, good. Okay.
-It's wonderful. I mean, you know they just watch movies all day.
-Yeah, and gradually you get old and die. You know it's important to make a little effort once in a while.
-Don't you think his girl friend's beautiful?
-Alvy, uh, let's face it. You know something, don't think our relationship is working.
-Whose "Catcher in the Rye" is this?
-Well, let's see now... If it has my name on it, then I guess it's mine.
-Oh, it sure has... You know, you wrote your name in all my books, 'cause you knew this day was gonna come.
-Well, uh, Alvy, you wanted to break up just as much as I do.
-There's no-no question in my mind. I think we're doing the mature thing, without any doubt.
-Now, look, all the books on death and dying are yours and all the poetry books are mine.
-This "Denial of Death". You remember this?
-Oh-
-God.
-Remember that day?
-Right. Geez, I feel like there's a great weight off my back. M'mmm.
-Thanks, honey.
-Yeah, my analyst thinks this move is keen for me.
-Yeah, and I-I tru- you know, I trust her, because my-my analyst recommended her.
-Well, why should I put you through all my moods and hang-ups anyway?
-Right. And you-and you know what the beauty part is?
-What?
-We can always come back together again. Because there's no-there's no problem. 'Cause... Right.
-Exactly, but... exactly. Ooooh!
-You know, I-I-I don't think many couples could handle this. You know, they could just break up and remain friends.
-Hey, this one's mine, this button. This one, you rem-
-Yeah.
-You look very pretty.
-Oh, no, I just lost a little weight, that's all. Well, you look nice.
-You see, I-I've been thinking about it and I think that we should get married.
-Oh, Alvy, come on.
-Why? You wanna live out here all year? It's like living in Munchkin Land.
-Well, whatta you mean? I mean, it's perfectly fine out here. I mean, Tony's very nice and, uh, well, I meet people and I go to parties and- and we play tennis. I mean, that's... that's a very big step for me, you know? I mean... I'm able to enjoy people more.
-So whatta you... You're not gonna come back to New York?
-What's so great about New York? I mean, it's a dying city. You read "Death in Venice."
-Hey, you didn't read "Death in Venice" till I bought it for yuh.
-That's right, that's right. You only gave me books with the word "death" in the titles.
-That's right, 'cause it's an important issue.
-Alvy, you're incapable of enjoying life, you know that? I mean, your life is New York City. You're just this person. You're like this island unto yourself.
-I can't enjoy anything unless I... unless everybody is. I-you know, if one guy is starving someplace, that's... you know, I-I... it puts a crimp in my evening. So wanna get married or what?
-No. We're friends. I wanna remain friends.
-Okay. Check, please. Can I -can I... Can I... Can I...
-You're mad, aren't you?
-No. Yes, of course I'm mad, because you love me, I know that.
-Alvy, I can't say that that's true at this point in my life. I really just can't say that that's true. I mean, you know how wonderful you are. I mean, you know... you're the reason that I got outta my room and that I was able to sing, and-and- and, you know, get more in touch with my feelings and all that crap.
-You mean that... I-I-I-I flew three thousand miles to see you.
-I'm late.
-If you must know, it's a hectic time for Tony. The Grammys are tonight.
-The what?
-The Grammys. He's got a lotta records up for awards.
-You mean they give awards for that kind o' music?
-Oh!
-Alvy.
-Oh, hi, Duane, how's it goin'?
-This is my room.
-Oh, yeah? Terrific.
-I tell you this because, as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
-What'd I do?
-Step up here!
-What'd I do?
-Why, I was just expressing a healthy sexual curiosity.
-Six-year-old boys don't have girls on their minds.
-Why couldn't you have been more like Donald? Now, there was a model boy!
-Yeah, two more chairs and they got a dining-room set.
-Why are you so hostile?
-'Cause I wanna watch the Knicks on television.
-I'm so tired of spending evenings making fake insights with people who work for Dysentery.
-Commentary.
-Oh, really, I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.
-Here you are. There's people out there.
-Hey, you wouldn't believe this. Two minutes ago, the Knicks are ahead fourteen points, and now... they're ahead two points.
-Alvy, what is so fascinating about a group of pituitary cases trying to stuff the ball through a hoop?
-Alvy, don't! You're using sex to express hostility.
-"Why-why do you always r-reduce my animal urges to psychoanalytic categories? he said as he removed her brassiere..."
-Oh, I'm sorry!
-Don't get upset!
-Jesus, last night it was some guy honking his car horn. I mean, the city can't close down. You know, what-whatta yuh gonna do, h-have 'em shut down the airport, too? No more flights so we can have sex?
-I'm too tense. I need a Valium. My analyst says I should live in the country and not in New York.
-Well, I can't li- We can't have this discussion all the time. The country makes me nervous. There's... You got crickets and it-it's quiet... there's no place to walk after dinner, and... uh, there's the screens with the dead moths behind them, and... uh, yuh got the-the Manson family possibly, yuh got Dick and Terry-
-Hey, come on, it's quiet now. We can- we can start again.
-I can't.
-What-
-My head is throbbing.
-Oh, you got a headache!
-I have a headache.
-Bad?
-Oswald and ghosts.
-Where are you going?
-Man, that's great. That's just great.
-You catch Dylan?
-Me? No, no. I-I couldn't make it that ni- My-my raccoon had hepatitis.
-You have a raccoon?
-Tsch, a few.
-The only word for this is trans- plendid. It's trans-plendid.
-I can think of another word.
-He's God! I mean, this man is God! He's got millions of followers who would crawl all the way across the world just to touch the hem of his garment.
-Really? It must be a tremendous hem.
-I'm a Rosicrucian myself.
-Are you?
-Yeah.
-I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics. Look- there's God coming outta the men's room.
-It's unbelievably trans-plendid! I was at the Stones concert in Altamount when they killed that guy, remember?
-I hope you don't mind that I took so long to finish.
-Oh, no, no, don't be... tsch... don't be silly. You know, I'm startin' it-I'm startin' to get some feeling back in my jaw now.
-Oh, sex with you is really a kafkaesque experience.
-Oh, tsch, thank you. H'm.
-I mean that as a compliment.
-I think-I think there's too much burden placed on the orgasm, you know, to make up for empty areas in life.
-Who said that?
-You know, it must need to have had its leading from one thought to another. You know what I'm talking about?
-He's screaming his opinions in my ear.
-Like all that Juliet of the Spirits or Satyricon, I found it incredibly... indulgent. You know, he really is. He's one of the most indulgent film makers. He really is-
-Key word here is "indulgent."
-without getting... well, let's put it this way...
-It's like Samuel Beckett, you know- I admire the technique but he doesn't... he doesn't hit me on a gut level.
-Probably on their first date, right?
-It's a narrow view.
-I never read that. That was-that was Henry James, right? Novel, uh, the sequel to Turn of the Screw? My Sexual...
-It's the influence of television. Yeah, now Marshall McLuhan deals with it in terms of it being a-a high, uh, high intensity, you understand? A hot medium... as opposed to a...
-What I wouldn't give for a large sock o' horse manure.
-Wait a minute, why can't I give my opinion? It's a free country!
-I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta give it so loud? I mean, aren't you ashamed to pontificate like that? And- and the funny part of it is, M- Marshall McLuhan, you don't know anything about Marshall McLuhan's... work!
-Wait a minute! Really? Really? I happen to teach a class at Columbia called "TV Media and Culture"! So I think that my insights into Mr. McLuhan- well, have a great deal of validity.
-Oh, do yuh?
-Yes.
-Oh.
-Thank you very much. It's a pleasure.
-This is a great house, really. Everything. Saunas, Jacuzzis, three tennis courts. You know who the original owners were? Nelson Eddy, then Legs Diamond. Then you know who lived here?
-Charlie Chaplin.
-Hey.
-Uh, you guys are still-uh, you're still New Yorkers.
-What are you making such a big deal about? They're only lobsters. Look, you're a grown man, you know how to pick up a lobster.
-I'm not myself since I stopped smoking.
-Sixteen years ago.
-Whatta you mean?
-Mean?
-Officer, I know what you're gonna say. I'm-I'm not a great driver, you know, I-I have some problems with- with-with-
-May I see your license, please?
-Don't give me your life story just pick up the license.
-Pick up the license. You have to ask nicely 'cause I've had an extremely rough day. You know, my girl friend-
-Just give me the license, please.
-I distinctly heard it. He muttered under his breath, "Jew."
-You're crazy!
-No, I'm not. We were walking off the tennis court, and you know, he was there and me and his wife, and he looked at her and then they both looked at me, and under his breath he said, "Jew."
-Alvy, you're a total paranoid.
-Wh- How am I a paran-? Well, I pick up on those kind o' things. You know, I was having lunch with some guys from NBC, so I said... uh, "Did you eat yet or what?" and Tom Christie said, "No, didchoo?" Not, did you, didchoo eat? Jew? No, not did you eat, but Jew eat? Jew. You get it? Jew eat?
-Ah, Max, you, uh...
-Stop calling me Max.
-Why, Max? It's a good name for you. Max, you see conspiracies in everything.
-No, I don't! You know, I was in a record store. Listen to this- so I know there's this big tall blond crew-cutted guy and he's lookin' at me in a funny way and smiling and he's saying, "Yes, we have a sale this week on Wagner." Wagner, Max, Wagner- so I know what he's really tryin' to tell me very significantly Wagner.
-Right, Max. California, Max.
-Ah.
-Let's get the hell outta this crazy city.
-Forget it, Max.
-We move to sunny L.A. All of show business is out there, Max.
-No, I cannot. You keep bringing it up, but I don't wanna live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.
-Right, Max, forget it. Aren't you gonna be late for meeting Annie?
-Max, my serve is gonna send yuh to the showers-
-Right, right, so g-get back to what we were discussing, the failure of the country to get behind New York City is-is anti-Semitism.
-Max, the city is terribly worried.
-But the- I'm not discussing politics or economics. This is foreskin.
-No, no, no, Max, that's a very convenient out. Every time some group disagrees with you it's because of anti-Semitism.
-Don't you see? The rest of the country looks upon New York like we're-we're left-wing Communist, Jewish, homosexual, pornographers. I think of us that way, sometimes, and I-I live here.
-Max, if we lived in California, we could play outdoors every day, in the sun.
-Yeah, watch the road!
-Yeah, the neighborhood's gonna be great.
-We can show her the schoolyard.
-Right. I was a great athlete. Tell her, Max, I was the best, I was all schoolyard.
-Yes, I remember. He was all schoolyard. They threw him a football once, he tried to dribble it.
-I have some very good memories there.
-What kind of good memories, Max? Your mother and father fighting all the time.
-Right-well, Santa Claus will have sunstroke.
-Max, there's no crime, there's no mugging.
-There's no economic crime, you know, but there's-there's ritual, religious- cult murders, you know, there's wheat- germ killers out here.
-Oh.
-Do you realize how immoral this all is?
-Max, I've got a hit series.
-Give me a tremendous laugh here, Charlie.
-We do the show live in front of an audience.
-Great, but nobody laughs at it 'cause your jokes aren't funny.
-What's the matter?
-I don't know, I just got-I got very dizzy... I feel dizzy, Max.
-Well, sit down.
-Oh, Jesus.
-You all right?
-I don't know, I mean, I-
-You wanna lie down?
-No, no-my, you know, my stomach felt queasy all morning. I just started getting...
-How about a ginger ale?
-You like this house, Max?
-M'hm.
-I even brought a road map to get us to the bathroom.
-Whee, you shoulda told me it was Tony Lacey's party.
-I think he has a little thing for Annie.
-Oh, no, no, that's bullshit, Max. He goes with that girl over there.
-The one with the V.P.L.
-V.P.L.?
-Visible panty line. Max, she is gorgeous.
-Yeah, she's a ten, Max, and that's great for you because you're-you're used to twos, aren't you?
-There are no twos, Max.
-Yeah, you're used to the kind with the- with the shopping bags walking through Central Park with the surgical masks on muttering.
-M'hm.
-And... uh-
-And I think they just came back from Masters and Johnson.
-If she comes over here, Max, my brain is going to turn into guacamole.
-Oh, he-he didn't say anything.
-No, no, I came out here to get some shock therapy, but there was an energy crisis, so I... He's my-my food taster. Have you two met?
-Hey, you guys are wearin' white. It must be in the stars.
-Yeah. Right.
-Uri Geller must be on the premises someplace.
-Imagine my surprise when I got your call, Max.
-Twins, Max. Sixteen-year-olds. Can you imagine the mathematical possibilities?
-You're an actor, Max. You should be doing Shakespeare in the Park.
-Max, are we driving through plutonium?
-Let 'im drop dead! Who needs his business?!
-His wife has diabetes!
-You fired the cleaning woman?
-She was stealing.
-But she's colored.
-SO?
-So the colored have enough trouble.
-She was going through my pocketbook!
-They're persecuted enough!
-All right-so we can afford it.
-How can we afford it? On your pay? What if she steals more?
-Dennis-right, uh, uh... local kid probably, would meetcha in front of the movie house on Saturday night.
-Oh, God, you should've seen what I looked like then.
-Oh, I can imagine. P-p-probably the wife of an astronaut.
-Look at you, you-you're such a clown.
-I look pretty.
-Heavy! Eaten by some squirrels.
-That was fun. I don't think California is bad at all. It's a drag coming home.
-Lotta beautiful women. It was fun to flirt.
-I have to face facts. I-I adore Alvy, but our relationship doesn't seem to work anymore.
-I'll have the usual trouble with Annie in bed tonight. Whatta I need this?
-If only I had the nerve to break up, but it would really hurt him.
-We went over to the swap meet. Annie, Gram and I. Got some nice picture frames.
-Oh, that Randolph Hunt. You remember Randy Hunt, Annie. He was in the choir with you.
-Oh, yes, that's right. Did you see the new play?
-Oh, you remember her, Annie.
-Now, don't let it be so long, now.
-Oh, he's adorable, Annie.
-You think so? Do you really?
-M'mmm.
-Oh.
-Hi, I'm-I'm Tony Lacey.
-Well, hi!
-Uh, we just wanted to stop by and say that we really enjoyed your sets.
-Oh, yeah, really, oh!
-I though it was... very musical, and I liked it a lot.
-Oh, neat... oh, that's very nice, gosh, thanks a lot.
-Are you... are you recording? Or do- Are you with any label now?
-No, no, no, not at all.
-Oh. What about?
-...of possibly working together.
-Well, hey, that's, that's nice. Uh. Oh, listen, this is, uh, Alvy Singer. Do you know Alvy? Uh... and... uh... Tony Lacey.
-Uh... w-we're going back to the Pierre. We're staying at the Pierre... and we're gonna meet Jack and Angelica, and have a drink there, and... if you'd like to come, uh, we'd love to have you.
-Yeah.
-Oh, well, I-if it's inconvenient, eh, we can't do it now... that's fine, too. W-w-w-we'll do it another time.
-Hey-
-Oh.
-It was a wonderful set.
-Oh, gosh.
-We just need about six weeks, in about six weeks we could cut a whole album.
-I don't know, this is strange to me, you know.
-Just... that's all you need. You can come and stay here.
-Oh.
-There's a whole wing in this house.
-Oh yeah, stay here? U-huh.
-You can have it to use. Why-why are you smiling?
-Yeah.
-Well, I used to live there. I used to live there for years. You know, but it's gotten-it's so dirty now.
-Oh, and there's another thing about New York. See... you-you wanna see a movie, you have to stand in a long line.
-Yeah.
-It could be freezing, it could be raining.
-Yeah.
-Tessie, they say you were the sister with personality.
-I was a great beauty.
-Uh, how did this personality come about?
-I was very charming.
-There were many men interested in you?
-How long have you worked for the Therrians?
-A long time.
-So you were here when they were doing the work on the boundary fence?
-Oh yes.
-Did you know the contractor?
-Very well.
-Was it a contractor?
-It's the way they do things.
-Did you see permits? Did he have a license?
-So who won?
-A triumph. When did you get here?
-Ten, fifteen minutes ago.
-Why didn't you come in?
-You're not upset that I brought the dog?
-Would it make a difference?
-Anouk isn't like a dog, really. More like a small person. So is there anyone here for me? No one looks new. Who's that?
-You don't want that. It's married and it's the neighbor.
-Oh I think he's cute. How's the marriage part working out?
-You're fucking desperate.
-Like you didn't know. Who invited the bimbo?
-Jack. Did you compose that yourself?
-Absolutely.
-Had a little help?
-Absolutely not.
-It has your ring.
-What's that?
-Can we... one at a time? Hold it down, and one at a time. You're last, Cal.
-It's going. It's going.
-Isn't Skye amazing?
-She's got great tits.
-She's a constant surprise.
-And you've only just met.
-Yeah, I know... But she's only twenty seven and... The wisdom. She's an old soul. She knew that Shostakovich thing. Did you notice?
-Absolutely. And she's got great tits.
-Yeah, God she really does have great tits, great tits. i can't wait to work with her.
-The camera loves her. A great actress.
-Poor Mac. It's been a bit of a struggle. I'm sure Sally's told you.
-No, what?
-The movie.
-Oh, she's really enjoying it. I think. Is Mac okay?
-I don't know what's going on. I don't care to guess. Mac's really unhappy. She isn't there, that's all. She's no idea what she's playing, not a clue.
-Who, Sally?
-And, you know it isn't rocket science, this script. She can barely get the lines out. There was a scene last week - she sobbed, through every take. I know crying's easy for her but it's a fucking comedy, Joe. Something's gone. You know, that thing that was Sally - that always surprised you. It's gone. I think she's scared. And that's death.
-I still think she sails above the rest. I mean not like her early films. But those were all such great directors.
-Mac's a pretty great director, Joe. He's a woman's director. And nothing's happening. Course he won't fire her, because of the friendship... But it was discussed. He had to battle his studio to get her in the first place.
-What?
-Hey, listen, I love her. She's Sophia's best friend. I never said any of this, alright. I'll deny it on the stand... You guys are gonna have kids. That is so great. Maybe that's what this is all about. Maybe she doesn't want to do this anymore. You know adults don't do this for a living. You guys are gonna have your kids, you'll
-Leo?
-Any thoughts on casting yet?
-Leo? It was out to Jude Law. Jude passed.
-Well, I can't make any promises, and of course I haven't read the script but I loved the novel...when are you shooting?
-October-ish.
-I have a small window of time.
-Leo. Leo's twenty-eight, Cal.
-Scratch the two, write in a four.
-Scratch the two, write in a four.
-You've got a lot of fucking gall. Thirty nine.
-She already has.
-So they tell me. Not soon enough, of course. How are you, Sal? You look fantastic. It changes your life, you know. A baby. It puts everything in perspective, doesn't it. Doesn't it, Mac? You can't be the center of your own world, anymore.
-Mac? Oh there you are. What are you doing, honey? No more work. Don't you feel breezy.
-I'm in mourning.
-You can cut around it, whatever it is. You always do.
-Not this time.
-You don't have any clothes on.
-How nice for everybody. Come swimming. The water's glorious. You'll fix it. You'll come up with one of your brilliant ideas.
-Or I won't. I can't help her. I'm out of my depth.
-Things always look much worse in the morning.
-I don't know how to make her funny.
-You're coming swimming in the pool, and in a few minutes you won't even remember what it's about. You won't care who's in your damn movie.
-What what's about?
-Honey?
-What a fucking day! We only just got a sitter. I don't know her from fucking Adam. She could be a serial killer. I'm going to have to call every ten minutes. You have to let me give out the number.
-I'm not.
-Why didn't you bring him?
-What?
-Why didn't you bring him?
-He's allergic.
-Oh.
-To dander. Otis.
-Oh.
-Didn't I say?
-Well, probably.
-They can tell from the eyelashes, you know? He's got eyelashes yay long. They must be a foot long. The older you are when you have a baby, the more likely this stuff is to crop up.
-It sounds hysterical, but Otis just rubbed up against me and I'd kind of like to change into something of yours. You know it could be disaster. He's so allergic. It's terrifying.
-Borrow whatever you like.
-I'll change back before we leave.
-Whatever you like. I'm afraid it'll all be too big for you. Are you alright, Clair?
-I'm fine. I'm fine. Well, I'm a little stressed. And I've been taking pills to get my weight down since the baby.
-I'd say it was down.
-And the doctor said they might make me a little jumpy. I've got a ghastly headache, actually.
-You want a Tylenol, or something?
-I'd love a Xanex. Sally, please don't tell Sophia that I'm not breast feeding.
-Why would she care?
-You know Sophia. She's so damned judgemental. And she's so damned... perfect. And so fucking... serene. Just fucking don't tell her. Because you know Mac thinks she's God. And I can feel him comparing.
-You need to knock off the pills, Clair.
-Just don't fucking tell her.
-Thank you, thank you, thank you.
-You look so well, Clair. A wraith.
-You think so!? I've been working out a lot since the baby. And I've been working. And that takes it's toll, you know.
-I'm glad that's all over for me.
-Don't you miss it?
-Never.
-Really.
-Not for a second. Cal can have all that.
-Really?
-So where is young Jonah?
-What is that thing?
-So this sitter can always reach me. I'm still not used to leaving him.
-You should have brought him.
-Dander. He's allergic. Otis.
-Oh. Do you have any pictures?
-Pictures. They're always in my tote. I left my tote in the damn trailer. But! He's Mac all over again. Imagine Mac shrunk to two-and-a-half feet. The fact is they probably didn't even need me for this birth.
-Are you the funniest person I know, or what?
-Let's get the kids.
-Thanks for coming.
-Would you leave us alone right now?
-He's gonna miss his flight.
-Is he not going? I booked a flight.
-He's not going tonight.
-I told his father he'd be on that flight.
-Well you could tell him otherwise. It was good of you to be all this help. But he doesn't want to go tonight.
-Jesus, Sally. I'm not the enemy.
-And you're not the wife.
-It's not a contest.
-Take good care of it.
-I'm the hired help.
-Fuck you.
-I never put myself in harm's way.
-Anymore.
-That for us?
-What a nose. You missed your calling.
-Can I open it?
-Sally?
-Directing suits you.
-I'm not so sure. Look again in three months.
-It must be nice having so many strangers kiss your ass all of a sudden.
-Ow! Gina, you obviously need to get fucked.
-Just did. Jealous?
-When does he graduate high school?
-I saw Lucy when I was in London, she seems okay. It's hard to tell with her.
-Shit, I forgot to call her back. She's off on a trip somewhere. Oh God, my grandad's flat in London's been sold.
-In Cheyene Walk? Lucy's going to have a meltdown. Oh, I'm so sorry.
-I should have damn well bought it. Well, we can't afford it. The movie's going to eat up a year of my life and I'm getting paid next to nothing. Do you know how much Skye Davidson's getting? Four million.
-Yeah, but I hear she gives a mean blow job.
-Escape hatch.
-So?
-What is it?
-The suspense is killing me.
-Harry called.
-And?
-Lucy overdosed.
-But she's alright.
-Stupid tart.
-She left a note.
-You need to call your dad.
-Leave us alone right now.
-Let me. I'm Jeffrey.
-Monica.
-And you know our friends, how?
-We live next door.
-Oh. You're them.
-Excuse me?
-We've heard lots about you.
-I know we're early, we're so early. Sorry.
-Cal, my wife Judy.
-Time. Hey! Time. Judy! Time you guys. Hey!!
-Ya Vhol. What are you, a fucking Nazi?
-There's a test, you know.
-Are you my big brave boy? Are you my brave hero?
-You're crazy baby. I love you.
-Are you my big hard hero?
-Do you want me to save you? Do you want me to save you?
-Oh yeah...
-Oh yeah... I'm gonna save you.
-Oh yeah?
-Let me heal you, baby.
-I call that a perfect day.
-A perfect night.
-Damn near. And a damn near perfect drug.
-Hm. We should do it again.
-Just every once in a blue moon, you know.
-Hm. You think we should ask them for their landscaper?
-Hm. Do you like fucking out of doors?
-Not as a rule.
-Go.
-Hey! Would you?
-It was fifteen seconds.
-I don't think so.
-He's okay, Clair. You wanna give him a little room?
-I'm fine, babe.
-Give him a minute, Clair.
-Hey. Thanks, buddy.
-Anytime, sport.
-I'm fine, babe. I'm gonna take a little walk. I need a minute. Let's forget it. My life didn't pass in front of my eyes. So, it probably wasn't that close.
-Probably not.
-We closed.
-Joe officially owns No. 4, Cheyenne Walk, Chelsea, London, England. No small doing.
-I suppose. Sally, that's quite a gift. I'm not sure it's in your best interest.
-I adore him.
-The realtor'll be here tomorrow in the morning. The house had to go on the market to insure the loan on the London flat.
-I know. I know that. Don't spoil it.
-What you earn has to double in order to cover expenses in London, it's an outrageously expensive city.
-We've only been over this how many times?
-You only made half your quote this year.
-Well, you're a tower of support.
-I worry because you don't. It's my job. I'm feeling guilty. I would've liked it if you waited until the two of you were on more solid ground.
-We couldn't be on more solid ground.
-Not millions.
-He's directing now.
-He gets huge advances on his novels. He's going back to that. You know how he hates it here.
-There's still time to undo this.
-We'll be fine.
-Did you invite them?
-The Roses? And of course they said yes.
-That was the plan. And you're thrilled to have them.
-Whatever you say.
-Did you tell Joe to behave?
-Yes.
-Did he promise?
-Scout's honor.
-You're out of your mind.
-Just do what I say, alright?
-How much bowing and scraping do you want us to do?
-Take your time, Jer.
-What was it? What the fuck was it?
-Ryan's novel.
-No luck.
-Happy anniversary, baby.
-I love you. Most beautiful woman in the world.
-Hardly...
-Accept a compliment.
-What did you get me?
-Kiss the back of my knees.
-Through the sweats or not?
-What?
-No. Did you?
-No. I missed that.
-I missed all of you. We're okay, aren't we?
-We're great.
-I mean, you're really back.
-Don't get it.
-Well, it might be Clair. They're threatening not to come...
-What?
-They can't find a sitter... Hello? Excuse me? Yes, uh, hold on. Just a moment. It's Skye Davidson. She needs directions to the house. You invited Skye fucking Davidson to our anniversary party?
-Okay. I'm sorry, look, I meant to tell you. It was the only chance I had to meet her.
-You invited her to our anniversary party? I didn't even invite my mother.
-She goes on location tomorrow. Sally, I'm sorry. Look, I can't keep her on hold.
-No, no of course not. It's Skye fucking Davidson, for fuck's sake.
-You want me to uninvite her?
-And she's a stinking fucking actress, for fuck's sake.
-I'm looking forward to meeting you, too. And Skye, I'm thrilled that you're willing to take this leap with me. Eternally grateful, really.
-I'm going to throw up.
-I can't imagine anyone else playing Genna.
-Promise you'll be nice to the neighbors.
-Of course we do. We have to sign our taxes.
-Otis! No barking!
-In the kitchen.
-Yes.
-Well, not yet. The gate was open?
-Two minutes.
-Still champions.
-It's an unfair advantage.
-You've got Cal. You've got Gina. You've got Skye? We're the leftovers.
-Okay, knock it off.
-Truce?
-Truce.
-Dinner. Don't be angry.
-Not properly watered.
-Dolphins. Great.
-I think we should all take it tonight. Everyone's staying, stays. No driving. That's the rule. I love you Sally-Mae. You're going to have a fabulous time.
-Someone left the goddamn gate open. Otis got out. Skye and I, well the... I came out of the house and the fucking gate was wide open.
-Don't be so sure.
-Listen to yourself... Don't worry, it's alright. We'll find him. What's wrong with you?
-She left the fucking gate open.
-Well he can't have gone far.
-Can't have gone far? He's like a greyhound. He could be miles away.
-He'll find his way back.
-There are fucking coyotes out there.
-Fuck you.
-Otis!!!!
-Otis!!!!
-Otis, good boy, come here. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
-This is a nightmare. We should have kept him upstairs.
-It was done. When Sophia put the kids to bed, America brought Otis in the room and closed the door. It was done.
-Well someone clearly let him out before Monica opened the gate.
-Oh fuck you, and fuck Monica while you're at it. But I guess that's what I interrupted.
-Jesus, Sally. You are a medical miracle. The only person who's ever taken ecstacy and become angrier.
-Yeah, let's talk about that. You seem to be rather an expert. I don't remember in the last five months of counselling your ever mentioning ecstacy or going to rage parties.
-Rave parties?! That's so typical - you would think it was called rage. Perfect!
-What else don't I know about, Joe? Let's get really clear here.
-Sally, so I took a few pills. I went out dancing. I tried to forget how upset I was about splitting up with you. I haven't lied to you. I told you about the people I've slept with. I just didn't mention the few occasions I took drugs because you're so fucking judgmental I knew I'd never hear the end of it, and you
-Otis! Come! Good boy! Come!
-Otis!
-I'm not sure we understand that word in the same way.
-Love?
-You walked out on a five year marriage.
-That hasn't the first fucking thing to do with love. It's whether we can live together... like this! All the time.
-It's not like this all the time.
-DO I want anyone else? No. Do I want to be with you for the rest of my natural life? I'm trying.
-And how hard it hit?
-Just stop right there, Sally. We've been through this.
-You've been through it. That's how you love people. When it's easy for you, when it's convenient for you.
-Sally, first of all, you're talking bullshit. And second...
-You want to talk about bullshit? Lucy called you three times this week. She's a fucking mess, Joe. Your sister is a fucking mess. She needs you. I talk to her more than you do.
-That is not true.
-It is true. You know how you love, Joe? You dedicate a book to someone.
-Every novel I've had published in every language I've dedicated to Lucy.
-And how fucking dare you cast Skye Davidson in that part? Have you any idea how humiliating that is for me? I'm an actress! It's about our marriage for fuck's sake. Everybody knows that...
-It's a novel.
-About me!
-Who the fuck do you think you are? The part of Genna is not just about you. It's about every woman I've ever loved in my entire life. Including my mother. The character is also clearly in her early twenties, Sally.
-What are you saying?
-Hello? Last birthday was?
-I don't look my age, Joe.
-Sally, I have never considered you for this part because you are too old to play it. And you are out of touch with reality if you think differently.
-It's a shit novel anyway.
-Well there you go. I let you off the hook. You're one goddamn lucky actress.
-Not really. I mean your books have always been pop, but this is the shallowest of the bunch. That's what all our friends think, anyway.
-Okay. If we could've, by some miracle, stripped ten years off your face, still couldn't have got the thing made. Because I don't mean anything as a director, and your name doesn't mean fuck all anymore. And the people that can hire you are afraid to, because they think you're phoning it in. That you don't have... Oh Christ, Sally.
-Who? Who? Who thinks that?
-Your director and your co-star of your current movie. Don't dish if you can't take it, Sally.
-Cal, too?
-Sally, for Christ's sake.
-Anyone else?
-This is insanity. Sally...
-Don't.
-Don't push me away.
-I had an abortion two weeks ago.
-Don't do this.
-I found out I was pregnant and it scared the shit out of me.
-Don't do this!
-I told you when we met I never wanted children. I don't want kids in my life. We talked about it. You weren't listening.
-You changed your mind.
-You think this was to hurt you?! My God, Joe. It isn't about you.
-What?! You aborted our child?!
-I'm a monster. Exactly.
-You're not ready.
-Don't make allowances. I'll never be ready. Some people just shouldn't have children. I'd be a terrible fucking mother, Joe. I did want it for us. But I couldn't do it. I don't really think I can do it.
-I wasn't part of that picture at all, was I? I wasn't part of that decision. Did I occur to you at all? It's a fucking farce. It's a fucking farce. How long did you think you could keep it going. You're amazing. Do you have any idea what you've done to us?
-Yes.
-I'll never forgive you.
-I know.
-Alright, good. Thanks for your trouble. So will you leave Sally and me alone right now?
-I can't got tonight. I don't want to be on a plane on my own tonight.
-I'll be with you.
-I don't want to go tonight.
-No.
-Okay.
-Pretty much a disaster, tonight, wasn't it?
-I guess.
-Life gets messy. Ugly messy. But I don't understand you. And I don't think I ever understood Lucy. I don't understand throwing it away. How do you throw all that away? Any of it. I want it all. You guys want guarantees? I want the possibilities. And all kinds of crap comes with that. A lot of bad shit. And I think that's okay
-Me too.
-That's under lock and key.
-Happy anniversary.
-It's a Calder.
-I know.
-He's my favorite.
-I know. It's for the baby's crib.
-They're the keys to your grandad's flat. Happy anniversary, baby.
-I know.
-Will you make love with me?
-Panes! How are you?
-Oh, you know, I am.
-Has she called?
-What's a sign for that?
-Coffee?
-Sure.
-We have a gift?
-Thanks, I'll take that. Champagne?
-I love gifts. What did you guys get us?
-Nothing that can't be exchanged.
-Oh. Well. Good.
-Congratulations on the deal. How exciting. Is Sally doing Sally? I mean it's Sally. The character that's based on Sally. The character that's based on Sally in the book.
-The novel. No, Skye Davidson is playing the lead.
-Oh my God, I'm a huge Skye Davidson fan. She's very beautiful.
-Yes, she is.
-But I am right, yes? She's based on Sally.
-It's a novel.
-Still. Well. Let's drop it.
-Yes.
-I'm not much of a reader, but I do love autobiographies, even biographies sometimes. Mostly non-fiction. Did you read the new Styron?
-No.
-It's very good. I understand you won the Booker Prize.
-Yes I did.
-Is your script much like the novel? Jerry says it's very good. But you know, you read the novel, and then you see the movie - and most of the time you say, "what's this?" You know? I sometimes think we're better off not reading the novel at all. Because, we come with expectations... and of course, we know where we're going. Don't you
-Don't I find what?
-I don't know why Joe, we've known each other how long...
-Not long.
-Don't be silly.
-Joking.
-Yes I know. I started to say... I started to say Joe that --
-Do I put you off?
-You manage to throw me off balance. I adore you.
-And I you.
-But I'm always afraid I'll say something stupid.
-Ah.
-And so I always manage to, do you see? Like the book/script thing, do you see?
-The infamous dog?
-He's the best dog in the world. They're both coming tonight. Not my idea.
-Ours.
-You lose this?
-You got your DP?
-What? Oh yeah, the camera man? They gave me a list.
-And you got Skye Davidson. Pretty big leagues for a first timer. Do you even like movies?
-Not particularly. Weird, isn't it? God I'm rally up. Do you feel anything yet, Mac?
-Kind of. Hey, look - John Seale, Oliver Stapelton, Darius Khonji - they're friends. And great DP's I could give them a call for you.
-Thanks, Mac. And thanks for being so supportive about all this. I really love you, you know.
-Hey, I'm happy for you, buddy. Anything I can do.
-Well, you know...good days, bad days.
-I meant Sally.
-I meant Sally.
-Oh. You're serious.
-No. No. Let me tell you something. Directing's the best preparation possible for fatherhood. The sleep depravation alone.
-Please, Ryan.
-Something soft.
-Your Eames table is incredible. And the B&B. I just put that in a client's home, actually, but in red.
-You're an interior decorator, right?
-Sally did all this herself?
-In fits and starts -- and then, later, of course, she had to accommodate me. So things shifted a little bit then, became more eclectic. And it keeps changing.
-Mmm. It says something about the two of you maybe.
-Yeah, we're in a constant state of flux. I see you've moved up from the soft stuff.
-Oh, yes. You know Ryan's been sober eight years. And it's difficult if I... you know. It's better if I don't.
-Uh-huh.
-I'm a little nervous, so...
-Oh.
-A little out of my element.
-No you're not.
-Well, yes. Yes, in fact. A little on the outside, yes. And there's been all this friction.
-Hm.
-I don't know why, but these misunderstandings have a way of escalating.
-Very well put.
-I think a lot of this could have been avoided if Sally made more of an effort.
-What?
-But you're very private people. You know, there's a kind of elitism...
-Elitism?
-The wrong word, maybe. Delete that. And, you know, the dog barks incessantly.
-And you know, he really does not.
-And Ryan works at home.
-Oh shit. I'm sorry.
-Well, that's what Ryan thought. I was more generous, actually.
-Easy tiger.
-Alright. Please don't tell Ryan I'm drinking.
-Scout's honor.
-Would you sign it for me. I'm sure this is inappropriate.
-I need to leave you now.
-I will treasure this.
-Are you okay?
-I don't think so. I feel. I feel a bit funny.
-I've never done this before.
-Oh? It's easy. You just put one foot in front of the other... That's a good girl.
-I'm a little in the puke zone.
-Here, drink this. Drink lots of water. Hold on to this. Take deep breaths. Nice and slow. Would you like a lolly?
-What am I, five?
-You're never too old for a lolly. I'm having one.
-Lemon or raspberry?
-Lemon.
-Ryan's really angry with me.
-I think he's really angry with me too.
-It's really not the same thing. He was really nicer when he drank.
-I'm sorry.
-Eight years, though. That's quite an accomplishment.
-That's a lot of those.
-Medallions.
-A lot of cakes.
-Yes.
-And he doesn't smoke?
-He has to find non-smoker's meetings that used to be almost impossible, you know? It's gotten much better.
-How long have you been married?
-Nine...nine, yes? Nine years, just about.
-You must have been a baby.
-Oh yes. Nineteen...just. I'm cold.
-That's very nice.
-I like you.
-I'm so glad. You know, I recognize that passage in your book. The bit about us running into each other in the movie theatre.
-Sorry?
-I know you changed it to a bookstore. And the color of my hair. But the moment was exactly the same. The same, you know, dynamic. And almost verbatim, wasn't it?
-Yeah, it was. For a writer nothing's sacred. No, nothing at all.
-Stop being such a bitch, Sal.
-I'm so sorry.
-How do you do, Skye?
-Oh, I love that. I'm just great. I'm so happy to be here. And I apologize for invading you. And I'm so happy you asked me to. I'm so touched. I know how private you and Sally are.
-Yeah, well, it's just us and a few hundred of our closest friends.
-When I read your work I felt that you knew me. Women must tell you that. And this one in particular speaks to me, do you know? I am Genna. How many women must tell you that. And the script is wonderful. Wonderful and lean and visual...
-I'm so happy you like it. I'm so relieved you said yes, and I'm really, um, what, thrilled, yes actually, to finally meet you.
-I think there are sixteen there.
-Of course it's alright.
-What?
-I didn't say a word.
-I was faking it. I've been feeling caged for sometime. Funny, huh?
-Jesus Christ.
-How's he doing?
-Ryan.
-Well, yes, actually.
-I love it here. Don't you love it here, Ryan? I love it here. And I love tonight. And I love these people. And this feels utterly fantastic, Ryan. Utterly fantastic.
-You know what Sally Therrian was saying about your spine and your brain? She didn't pull that out of thin air. It causes brain damage. You'd better drink a lot of water.
-Do you want to go home, Ryan?
-Yes.
-I think you should then. You should look in on Sheila.
-I'm not going to leave you alone.
-They're really nice people, Ryan. They're like us...
-They're nothing like us.
-Are you making an ass of yourself?
-There's only you, Ryan. You know what, Ryan? You're beautiful. I love you so much... You need...
-I don't need a drug.
-Ready to go?
-Ryan, you've got to come! You've got to help me find the dog! I let their dog out. We need to find the dog.
-You're not serious.
-I left the gate open and Otis got out! He could get hit by a car!
-God willing.
-We have to find the dog, Ryan.
-Why?
-Because we're nice people, and because what goes around comes around. Because, God help you if something happens to that dog?
-Excuse me?
-Jesus Christ, it's a fucking dog!
-Don't go in, Ryan.
-What?
-Hi. Monica and Ryan?
-Sally?
-We could hardly say no.
-Ryan!
-Hors d'oeuvres or something?
-Yes, great! It's a beautiful house.
-Thank you. I understand you're an interior decorator.
-Yes.
-I so wish I'd known.
-Well, whoever did this is amazing.
-I'm sorry.
-There's a goddamn sign on the gate.
-I'm so sorry.
-You fucking cow, can't you read?!
-I...
-Come on in.
-And I'm overwhelmed. And I want to do it justice. And I hope we can spend time together. And I'm gushing. It's my worst quality.
-Not at all.
-Oh my god. I've been so rude. I'm Skye Davidson. Has anyone ever told you, you look like Peter Sellers?
-Is there space here?
-Yes.
-Do you need anything else?
-I was impressed.
-Oh?
-The charades.
-Thank you.
-That was my clue.
-Oh?
-The Shostakovich.
-Really??
-Otis!! Shostakovich identified with the Jew. He felt persecuted, hunted, crushed under the thumb of Stalinist imperialism.
-Not to mention Andrew Zhdanov... Otis, come!!
-Andre Zhdanov? How the hell do you know about Andre Zhdanov?
-Who doesn't know about the infamous composer's conference of 1948 where Zhdanov persecuted the leaders of Soviet Music - Shostakovich, Prokofieve, and Myaskovsky.
-I'll tell you who doesn't know, cute girls don't know.
-Do Peter Sellers again.
-Otis you crazy dog! Otis are you in this God forsaken Canyon? My people are very hungry.
-I just did a movie about Bob Yar, I played Gittle, the Jewish milkmaid who gets shot in the head, and they used Shostakovich's 13th Symphony.
-Set to the poem of Yetveshenko!
-Exactly! So I dug it, and I did a lot of research.
-Do you really, you really, like Shostakovich?
-Yeah.
-Would you, like, marry him?
-If he were still alive, maybe.
-How about someone who really really liked Shostakovich?
-Are you asking me to marry you?
-No, I'm just testing to see how deeply perverted and impulsive you are.
-Very.
-Oh good, I'm worse... Are you really twenty-two?
-Good, you brought your violin. I want you to play.
-It's a machine gun. I thought I'd kill myself.
-Are you lovesick?
-Suicidal. It's much less codependent.
-Will champagne help?
-Panes is here!
-She's even better looking in the flesh.
-Oh, Jesus, Panes. I can't, I can't believe that bitch is in my house.
-You don't know she's a bitch.
-She's all over him, are you blind?
-It could be worse.
-How?
-She could be playing the role in Joe's movie that should be yours.
-Fuck you, Panes.
-You see, that's worse.
-I just wanted tonight to be with the people we love.
-Like your business managers?
-They're not just our business managers, Panes.
-Oh, okay, forgive me. Your neighbors are here, for fuck's sake.
-Exactly what I mean. It's all ruined.
-It's not ruined, for fuck's sake. It's one of your parties.
-I don't want it to be just one of our parties.
-"How are you really doing, Panes?" "Lousy, thank you, I'm falling apart."
-Like the last time.
-No. No, not like the last time. She was the rest of my life.
-Like the last time.
-I wasn't finished.
-Okay.
-"We can't stand seeing you like this, Panes. I hate you being alone. Why don't you stay with us for a while?" "I'd love to, thanks."
-It's our anniversary, Panes.
-I didn't hear me say tonight.
-We're just feeling our way back.
-"Otherwise, we'd insist on your being here."
-Everyday.
-Shit!
-I'd cut off her red wine if I were you.
-Shit. It's my Galiano.
-What does that mean?
-So how are you really doing, Panes?
-Why don't you go fuck yourself?
-No. Really. For real. Really.
-I'm worried about your Galiano.
-You're a shit.
-How's the movie going? Your movie. You are making a movie, aren't you?
-Yes. Fine.
-That's it? Yes. Fine?
-I don't want to talk about it.
-Why not?
-I never like to talk about my work.
-Alright. Well, that's something new.
-No. Not something new.
-Well, something's wrong.
-Nothing's wrong. It's great, okay? Having the time of my life. Mac's a fantastic director. And what can anyone say about Cal that hasn't been said. And it's great working with friends, blah blah blah.
-Um. Happy for you.
-Thanks.
-So tell me, how's it going?
-Oh you know. No doubts. No second thoughts. Am I a monster?
-You're my best friend.
-That's not an answer, is it?
-Thank you, Panes.
-You don't need to thank me.
-We're going to have to go back out there.
-Panes?
-What did I do?
-Yes.
-Thank you. This was so unnecessary. I hope you've noticed that Otis isn't barking as much. We keep him in at night.
-At 4:30 today he barked for a solid fifteen minutes. I have it on tape.
-You're keeping a record, are you?
-Well the neighborhood is full of dogs, and it's not always Otis.
-Monica and Ryan.
-I didn't know you had this.
-Oh. Well, yes. It's extraordinary. You think you could sign it for us?
-Oh my God, sorry. I'm interrupting.
-I don't think I ever spent half a day in the Beverly Center.
-Happy anniversary. Thank you for making me a part of it.
-You don't need to do that.
-I don't mind...
-Enough about me.
-Oh my God! America told me your neighbors are coming?
-And here they are!
-He's a novelist.
-Ah.
-Like Joe.
-Hmm. Where are my kids?
-In the guest room. I've laid out a paint table for them.
-I hope they're watercolors!
-Nevermind.
-Isn't this a fabulous picture?
-Yes.
-She's such a great photographer.
-Hm.
-So where should I put it?
-I thought it was okay where it was.
-It's much more personal in here.
-A notch above the storage room.
-We're always in here. She really gets him, doesn't she?
-The both of you.
-But she really gets to the heart of Joe, doesn't she? She's a genius.
-So how much do you hate her?
-Well, I don't trust her. I never have.
-She took our wedding photos, for chrissakes. You don't trust anyone.
-I trust you.
-Oh Soph...
-You'll hate it in London. It's wet and miserable. A medical hellhole Sally. It's socialized. Beds in the corridors. Terrible plumbing.
-And the food sucks, I know.
-You are not having your baby in London. You're going to have your baby at Cedars in Beverly Hills, America, delivered by Dr. Milton Cohen. Period. And you're getting that epidural right away, don't let anyone talk you into any of that Lamase bullshit. There's no excuse for pain like that.
-Sophia! I'm not even pregnant!
-Well good. Thank God.
-Let's go in the kitchen and spy on everyone.
-What do you mean, thank God?
-Well, are you sure about this baby thing? It's not the ticking clock shit, is it?
-No, no, not at all... I mean I've still got plenty of time. Don't I? I mean I still have a good six years, whatever. We could have three kids yet, if we wanted. And I know I've always said I never wanted kids, and I didn't... but this year, I really, truly, feel ready...
-Honey, I'm not worried about you. You are going to be a fantastic mom. Not an issue. I pressed you, remember? Joe, on the other hand, is a different story.
-Oh Soph, Joe loves kids. Joe wants kids. Joe thinks he needs kids.
-He wants playmates. Oh he's a sweetheart, Sal, you know I love him. But he's not going to be a good father. He's just not parenting material.
-Don't try and change the subject. Oh God, it feels great! He's just a little narcissistic, irresponsible and unreliable.
-And Cal's this massive adult?
-Cal knows who he is. Did you notice how happy Joe was when the drugs came out tonight?
-You weren't exactly horrified.
-I don't have a drug problem.
-Neither does Joe.
-You don't have kids to keep a marriage together, Sally. It's only five months since Joe came back.
-We're fine. We're great. We're having a baby and we're moving to London.
-Well, you weren't fine last summer when you went Sylvia Plath on me in Connecticut.
-Not nice. Not kind.
-Ha! Not half so not kind as your husband was in his portrayal of you in his novel.
-Why are you doing this?
-His image of you is a possessive, fragile neurotic.
-But I am a possessive, fragile neurotic.
-Sorry Azteca. Here you go, fellas! Fresh dirt! Alley oop! Shouldn't we be wearing gloves? I mean this dirt is very...dirty. Doesn't anyone think of hygiene? Boy am I hungry. I'm so hungry I'm seeing double. It looks like there's <u>two</u> million ants in here. When's lunch? Tomorrow, or the day after?
-Z, old pal... SHUT UP!!! It's bad enough there's a food shortage without you complaining about it every day.
-The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
-No, Z. The squeaky wheel gets <u>thrown</u> <u>away</u>, alright? You're a good ant, Z, even though you are a pain in my rear- segment. I don't wanna see anything happen to you. So quit mouthing off, before you get in trouble.
-Break's over.
-This colony needs another tunnel like a hole in the ground. Why are we even digging this thing?
-Hey, slow it down, big boy. You're making the rest of us look bad...How come I haven't seen you around here before?
-I'm new...I was born yesterday.
-Tell me about it.
-Nobody told me digging was so much fun! You pick up the dirt, you move it, you pick it up again, you move it again -- lots of repetitions, you exercise the forceps, and the pincers --
-I don't know what came over me, talking back like that. I must be going crazy...
-Sorry I got you in trouble. But listen, you can share my rations.
-Are you asking me out to dinner?
-No -- I mean yes -- I mean -- if you don't have other plans.
-Wait a minute, that's no soldier -- that's Z!
-You know, you're not just workers -- you can be whatever you want to be! Look at Z! He started as a worker -- then he became a soldier!
-Well, because he's more than a worker...he's a...what did he call it, Azteca...
-Invisible!
-Someone who follows his heart!
-General -- we have to talk sometime!
-So, um...how was your day? What did you do?
-Well... I declared war!
-He's...he's dead. You don't have to look for him anymore. He was eaten by a praying mantis.
-It's a shame he died prematurely...I was hoping to kill him myself.
-Well you'll never be able to hurt him where he is now. I miss him already.
-You miss him? <u>Why</u>?
-What a bunch of losers. Mindless zombies capitulating to an oppressive system --
-So uh -- how come I haven't seen you around here before?
-I work in the palace, I don't get out much.
-The palace, hunh? I bet those royals really live it up. Of course they're all a little, you know, from inbreeding --
-Are you sure this is a real dance?
-Well, actually, uh -- I'm sort of making it up --
-Really?
-Why should everyone dance the same way? It's as exciting as watching fungus grow.
-You're right!
-You -- you think I'm right?
-You watch yours, soldier, or my worker friend will beat you up!
-Oh, that's okay, I'll let him off this time. Are you crazy? This guy's built like a pebble! You know they do great prosthetic antennas nowadays --
-Uh oh. Goodbye! Gotta run!
-Wait! When can I see you again?
-You're the hero of the recent termite campaign, aren't you?
-And you are...?
-I'm Princess Bala.
-Ah, yes. Well, charmed, I'm sure. So, Princess, have you ever danced with a hero?
-Yes.
-No, General. I'm dancing with the war hero.
-You dance...
-Divinely?
-He was a worker. I danced with him at a <u>worker's bar</u> just the other day. I'm not shocking you, am I?
-No...as a matter of fact...
-Gee, uh, could you say it a little louder, I think there are some ants in the next colony who didn't hear you.
-I CAN'T DANCE WITH A WORKER!
-That's not what you said the <u>other</u> <u>night</u> --
-Quiet -- sshhh!!
--- At the <u>worker bar</u>! You were pretty hot to trot then!
-What <u>was</u> that thing?
-How should <u>I know</u>?
-I order you to find out where we are!
-Excuse me, I -- Pardon me -- And they call them social insects.
-I've been kidnapped by the village idiot.
-Who's the bigger idiot -- the idiot who gets kidnapped, or the idiot who lets herself get kidnapped by the idiot?
-Theoretically, yes. But is the monarchical hierarchy applicable without the underlying social structure to support it?
-Of course! It defines society! To deny the precept is to say that order is an arbitrary distinction applied by the society itself!
-But can there be a society composed of just two ants?
-No! There's no such thing as "just two ants." You never see just two ants -- you see a million ants!
-I -- <u>hate</u> -- you.
-Well I guess that makes us even.
-Ha! Don't make me laugh. You're crazy about me! That's why you lied and cheated to get near me!
-Oh come on, <u>you're</u> the one who came after me -- the swarthy, earthy, sensual worker!
-I was <u>slumming it</u>! I danced with you because you were the most pathetic specimen in the place!
-Is that the same standard you used to choose General Formica?
-Now, worker, you shall take me back to the colony, and have your head cut off and stuck on a sharp pole!
-Well, that's an appealing offer, but...considering the options... You go back. Me, I'm going to Insectopia.
-<u>Insectopia</u>? You stupid worker, that's just a fairy tale!
-Yeah, well I have it on a reliable source... that it exists. Now you follow the yellow egg... <u>That</u> direction.
-Worker! Come back here now!
-I've got a <u>name</u>. It's <u>Z</u>.
-Water...water...
-Water...water -- oh, you already said that.
-My skin's dry, my exoskeleton is cracking...I wish I'd never met you, you ruined my life.
-We're going to die!
-Why didn't I listen to my mother ...why'd I have to go looking for trouble? Any ant would have given their left legs to be in my position...what's <u>wrong</u> with me?
-Want a list?
-This lake is huge! And so close to the colony! Think of the vacation potential!
-Cut me down a soft leaf so I can take a nap.
-Out here I'm just what?
-Hlllllllp!
-Princess, has it ever occurred to you that they're <u>not going to rescue you</u>?
-General Formica won't let me die out here. I'm his fiancee.
-Look. How many other Princesses are there?
-Five thousand three hundred and ninety -- no. About five thousand four hundred by now.
-And only you can become a Queen?
-Well...no, but --
-So what makes you so special?
-Face it, Z, we're lost! We must have walked halfway across the world by now! How did I get into this mess...
-Come on...tell me there wasn't just a little...something between us that first night at the bar. The night we danced.
-We've found it! <u>Insectopia</u>! Look at all this food'
-You were right...you were right! Z, it's <u>beautiful</u>!
-Z...if we don't make it...I just want you to know....
-Yes?
-Come on, Z.
-So...you never did tell me...what made you come out to the worker bar that night?
-Just looking for fun, adventure, trouble, I guess.
-Sorry, it's been through a war, not to mention everything else...
-You held onto this all that time?
-Why do they have you tied up here?
-Bala, that -- that lake we found -- I think the tunnel's right underneath it! -- Formica's going to <u>flood the</u> <u>colony</u>!!! That's what he meant when said there were too many ants!
-Z! what are you doing?
-I mean, I've got the whole package, right? A great life, a beautiful wife, and a few kids.
-The Club's so <u>stuffy</u>. I want to try someplace different.
-There isn't anyplace else -- Except the worker bar.
-We shouldn't be doing this -- it isn't proper!
-I'm the Princess, aren't I?
-Of course --
-And do Princesses do improper things?
-Of course not --
-Bala has always been a hopeless romantic, General.
-I felt the same way before I got married. Confused. Scared.
-You did?
-Yes -- but I did my duty and sorted out all those messy feelings. The wonderful thing about ant life is that everything is arranged. Even marriage. You're lucky -- General Formica is a paragon of anthood.
-Who is that idiot?
-Bala!
-You new, kid?
-I just joined up. But I'm quitting! I got a trial membership!
-You just stick by old Barbatus. He'll watch out for you. Whatsamatter, kid? Leave a girl behind?
-Yeah. Well -- no. She's kind of playing hard to get. As a matter of fact, she's playing completely unattainable. So, what's on the schedule? A brisk walk? a foraging expedition?
-No -- we're going to attack the termites!
-Well, what exactly does our platoon do? Serve beverages? Process paperwork?
-So we're going back for more armor, right? I mean, these guys are from outer space, how are we supposed to beat them?!
-Don't be scared, kid. Barbatus's got yer back.
-BARBATUS! You -- you saved my life!
-Z! Over here!
-Barbatus!
-Be honest, kid -- am I hurt bad?
-No, no, you're...lookin' good. You've got good color in your cheeks.
-No -- I can see it in your eyes. I'm a goner. It's alright, Z. In this ant's army, a soldier's life ain't worth a sack of fungus. I can't feel my legs...
-Hang in there, buddy! You can make it! Just -- take deep breaths, I'll try and find your body -- it's gotta be around here somewhere!
-I wonder...what...was it all...for...
-Barbatus, hang on -- Barbatus!!
-Princess Bala, sir. Your fiancee.
-Actually, sir, we're ahead of schedule. We have thirty-six seconds available right now.
-Fourteen-fifty hours, sir.
-Dammit, this tunnel is priority A-1! We can't afford <u>any delays</u> on this project!
-Notice the big one, holding hands with the female?
-Well, uh, who notices workers, sir?
-What do we have on this "Insectopia"?
-Scattered reports, sir. Rumors. Nothing reliable.
-Desperate times call for desperate measures. Get me Ant Team Six.
-What are you doing?! ATTACK!! Come on, you yellow-bellies! Don't just stand there, Carpenter! Make an example of yourself!
-So this Z...he fancies himself an individual?
-Yeah...I mean...well...I don't know, really, sir.
-Well now <u>you</u> haven't fallen for this silly idea of individuality, have you?
-Oh, no, sir!
-Good. You're a good soldier.
-So tell me. Where's Z?
-I...I have no idea, sir.
-We know what makes an ant colony strong, don't we? We know that no ant can be an individual. No <u>single</u> ant matters, right?
-That's correct, sir!
-Not that one. Or that one.
-Lays it on a little thick, doesn't he? If you ask me, he's one giant bore.
-Now I've heard a lot of scuttlebutt about a <u>food shortage</u>. Well you boys are gonna be taken care of. But in the meantime we're gonna eat the enemy for <u>breakfast</u>, we are gonna eat the enemy for <u>lunch</u>, and we are gonna eat the enemy for <u>dinner</u>!
-Geez, and I forgot my toothbrush.
-No -- you -- you don't understand!
-Damn, I'm proud of you, boy. I wish I had a hundred ants of your caliber. The world would tremble. Now, time for some R and R. You're invited to the royal victory party!
-Royal victory party? Will...will Princess Bala be there?
-Of course. The entire royal family will be there to honor you.
-Son, you're an ant after my own heart. A warrior. An ant that looks death right in the face and <u>laughs</u>.
-Well, I generally just make belittling comments and snicker behind death's back. So, tell me, fellow war-monger...do you think Princess Bala likes men in uniform?
-Well she better -- she's engaged to one. <u>Me</u>!
-Engaged? As in you're getting married?
-Affirmative.
-So...you two are in love?
-Wow, what a spread -- you know, there's a food shortage in the rest of the colony.
-Yes, and do you know <u>why</u> there's a food shortage?
-...Not enough food?
-Well I, I don't think "living it up" is the right term -- how about "working themselves to death"?
-I tell you son, sometimes, at night, I see myself in battle, fighting a horrible, faceless enemy, with the future of our whole species at stake. And always, the dream ends with each of us plunging his sword into the other's heart...
-May I cut in?
-What's this? A <u>worker</u> has been masquerading as a war hero?!
-Well it wasn't a masquerade, really, it was more what I'd call a clever ruse --
-ARREST HIM!
-General, the severe food shortage that faces the colony...<u>pains</u> me. The thought of any of my children going hungry... Who's the cutest widdle worker? You are! Yes, you! Don't forget to brush your teeth! Ship 'er out. What steps are you taking to remedy the situation?
-We are launching a major offensive to expand our foraging territory...
-Yes, what else?
-No snacking between meals! Off you go! Now -- what were we saying?
-I do not recollect, your majesty. Will that be all?
-Conversation...yes...well... Wasn't she briefed?
-Look, General! A darling baby soldier! Don't try to be a hero! Just make sure you come back in one piece! Next!
-All these parties are so marvellously <u>alike</u>.
-Your majesty, I'm afraid matters of state keep me from attending the ceremony.
-But General -- this tunnel is your baby! You're sure you can't stay ?
-'Fraid not, your majesty. Goodbye, your majesty.
-Very well, General -- I know you -- all work and no play!
-I feel...isolated. Different. I've got abandonment issues. My father flew away when I was just a larva. My mother didn't have much time for me...when you have five million siblings, it's difficult to get attention. I feel physically inadequate -- I've never been able to lift more than ten times my own weight. Sometimes I think I'm just not cut out to be a
-...I should?
-Ask me why we're so successful.
-Why are we so successful?
-What do you see out there?
-...Ants...
-You see? Being an ant is being able to say, "Hey -- <u>I'm</u> meaningless, <u>you're</u> meaningless."
-We declared war again? Are you scared?
-Did you see that? How he gave <u>you</u> the beers, not me? I'm telling you, he's got something against workers.
-I don't know what you're talking about, Z.
-Come on -- everybody dumps on us workers. You soldiers get all the glory. Plus you get to go out into the world, meet interesting insects, and kill them.
-Weaver, they're career girls. They're obsessed with digging. No, I'll probably never meet the girl for me.
-Who said there was a girl for you? I was talking about a girl for me. Don't you want your aphid beer?
-I can't help it. I have a thing about drinking from the anus of another creature. Call me crazy.
-Z, we've known each other a long time, right?
-Of course. You were born two seconds after me.
-And all the time I've known you, you've been grumping and groaning. You should quit making waves. Go with the flow.
-Hey, did you hear what he said?!
-Time to cut a rug, Z!
-I'm not in the mood. Even when they're off work, they follow orders.
-Get real, Z! She just dropped the scarf by accident!
-Are you kidding? There were sparks between us! This scarf is a sign!
-It's a sign that you're crazy! Do you know what the penalty for impersonating a soldier is?
-You have to help me. Please, Weaver. Think of all the things I've done for you!
-I can't think of any.
-Well I'm gonna <u>start</u> doing things for you...
-Will you introduce me to some worker girls?
-You bet! They'll really go for a sensitive guy like you!
-Wear this.
-You're a real buddy.
-Yeah, I know.
-What do I do?
-Yeah, but I hate drowning more! Now <u>dig</u>!
-I'm getting lonely. Who are you talking to, anyway?
-My mother.
-This the place?
-You sure this is a good idea? DOBISCH Can't think of a better one.
-I mean - barging in on your mother -- in the middle of the night?
-Not there. Under the mat.
-So this is your mother's apartment?
-Oh. Hello there, Mrs. Dreyfuss.
-Something the matter?
-Such a racket I heard in your place -- maybe you had burglars.
-Mrs. Dreyfuss, can I borrow some coffee -- and maybe an orange and a couple of eggs?
-Eggs he asks me for. Oranges. What you need is a good horse-whipping.
-Ma'am?
-From me the doctor has no secrets. Poor girl -- how could you do a thing like that?
-I didn't really do anything -- honest -- I mean, you take a girl out a couple of times a week -- just for laughs -- and right away she thinks you're serious -- marriage-wise.
-You wouldn't have such a thing as a napkin, would you?
-Well, I have some paper towels --
-Beatnik! Go to my kitchen -- third drawer, under the good silver, there is napkins.
-Yes, Mrs. Dreyfuss. He starts out with a worried backward glance toward the two. Fran is just sitting there, the spoon in her hand, not touching the soup.
-You must eat -- and you must get healthy -- and you must forget him. Such a fine boy he seemed when he first moved in here -- clean and cut -- a regular Ivy Leaguer. Turns out he is King Farouk. Mit the drinking -- mit the cha cha -- mit the no napkins. A girl like you, for the rest of your
-One napkin, coming up. I wish we had some champagne to wrap it around.
-What did I tell you?
-Look, Mrs. Dreyfuss, you don't have to wait around. I'll wash the dishes and --
-All right -- I'll tell him. Hey, Baxter -- that was Personnel. Mr. Sheldrake's secretary.
-Sheldrake?
-She's been trying to reach you for the last twenty minutes. They want you up stairs.
-What gives, Baxter? You getting promoted or getting fired?
-Care to make a small wager?
-I've been here twice as long as you have --
-Shall we say -- a dollar?
-Morning, Mr. Baxter.
-What did you do to your hair?
-It was making me nervous, so I chopped it off. Big mistake, huh?
-Say, you got a lulu.
-Yeah. I better not get too close.
-Oh, I never catch colds.
-Really? I was looking at some figures from the Sickness and Accident Claims Division -- do you know that the average New Yorker between the ages of twenty and fifty has two and a half colds a year?
-That makes me feel just terrible.
-Why?
-Well, to make the figures come out even -- since I have no colds a year -- some poor slob must have five colds a year.
-You should have stayed in bed this morning.
-Twenty-seven.
-You may not realize it, Miss Kubelik, but I'm in the top ten -- efficiency-wise and this may be the day -- promotion-wise.
-You're beginning to sound like Mr. Kirkeby already.
-Why not? Now that they're kicking me upstairs --
-Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. You know, you're the only one around here who ever takes his hat off in the elevator.
-Really?
-The characters you meet. Something happens to men in elevators. Must be the change of altitude -- the blood rushes to their head, or something -- boy, I could tell you stories --
-I hope everything goes all right.
-I hope so. Wouldn't you know they'd call me on a day like this -- with my cold and everything -- How do I look?
-Good night.
-Oh -- Miss Kubelik. I've been waiting for you. FRAN You have?
-I almost didn't recognize you -- this is the first time I've ever seen you in civilian clothes.
-How'd you make out on the twenty- seventh floor?
-Great. Look -- have you seen The Music Man?
-No.
-Would you like to?
-Sure.
-I thought maybe we could have a bite to eat first -- and then --
-You mean tonight?
-Yeah.
-I'm sorry, but I can't tonight. I'm meeting somebody.
-Oh. You mean -- like a girl-friend?
-I wasn't trying to be personal -- it's just that the fellows in the office were -- whether you wondering about you ever --
-Just tell 'em -- now and then.
-This date -- is it just a date -- or is it something serious?
-It used to be serious -- at least I was -- but he wasn't -- so the whole thing is more or less kaputt.
-Well, in that case, couldn't you -- ?
-I'm afraid not. I promised to have a drink with him -- he's been calling me all week --
-Well, it was just an idea -- I hate to see a ticket go to waste --
-What time does the show go on?
-Eight-thirty.
-Well -- I could meet you at the theatre -- if that's all right.
-All right? That's wonderful! It's the Majestic -- 44th Street.
-You know, I felt so lousy this morning -- a hundred and one fever -- then my promotion came up -- now you and I -- eleventh row center -- and you said I should have stayed in bed.
-How is your cold?
-What cold? And after the show, we could go out on the town -- I've been taking from Arthur Murray.
-So I see.
-They got a great little band at El Chico, in the Village -- it's practically around the corner from where you live.
-Sounds good. How do you know where I live?
-Oh, I even know who you live with -- your sister and brother-in- law -- I know when you were born -- and where -- I know all sorts of things about you.
-How come?
-A couple of months ago I looked up your card in the group insurance file.
-Oh.
-Well, don't tell the fellows in the office about the appendix. They may get the wrong idea how you found out. 'Bye.
-Marry Christmas.
-Thank you. I thought you were avoiding me.
-What gave you that idea?
-In the last six weeks you've only been in my elevator once -- and then you didn't take your hat off.
-Well, as a matter of fact, I was rather hurt when you stood me up that night --
-I don't blame you. It was unforgivable.
-I forgive you.
-You shouldn't.
-You couldn't help yourself. I mean, when you're having a drink with one man, you can't just suddenly walk out on him because you have another date with another man. You did the only decent thing.
-Don't be too sure. Just because I wear a uniform -- that doesn't make me a Girl Scout.
-Miss Kubelik, one doesn't get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he's a pretty good judge of character -- and as far as I'm concerned, you're tops. I mean, decency-wise -- and otherwise-wise. Cheers.
-One more?
-I shouldn't drink when I'm driving.
-By the power vested in me, I herewith declare this elevator out of order. Shall we join the natives?
-Why not? They seem friendly enough.
-Don't you believe it. Later on there will be human sacrifices -- white collar workers tossed into the computing machines, and punched full of those little square holes.
-How many of those drinks did you have?
-Three.
-You all right? What's the matter?
-Nothing. There are just too many people here.
-Guess I made a boo-boo, huh?
-No -- I like it.
-Really? You mean you wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with somebody in a hat like this?
-Of course not.
-Maybe if I wore it a little more to the side -- is that better?
-Much better.
-Well, as long as you wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with me -- how about the three of us going out this evening -- you and me and the bowler -- stroll down Fifth Avenue -- sort of break it in --
-This is a bad day for me.
-I understand. Christmas -- family and all that --
-I'd better get back to my elevator. I don't want to be fired.
-Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I have quite a bit of influence in Personnel. You know Mr. Sheldrake?
-Why?
-I thought maybe I could put in a word for you with Mr. Sheldrake -- get you a little promotion -- how would you like to be an elevator starter?
-I'm afraid there are too many other girls around here with seniority over me.
-No problem. Why don't we discuss it sometime over the holidays -- I could call you and pick you up and we'll have the big unveiling -- -- you sure this is the right way to wear it?
-I think so.
-Here.
-What is it?
-The mirror -- it's broken.
-Your phone.
-Oh. Yes? Just a minute. If you don't mind -- this is sort of personal
-Don't you remember? We were at the office party together --
-Oh, yes -- office party -- Miss Olsen --
-That's right. I told you we had a fight -- that's what it was about -- Miss Olsen -- you know that other girl you saw --
-I don't understand --
-It's not important, Fran -- the main thing is that I got here in time -- and you're going to be all right -- -- isn't she, Doc?
-I'm sorry, Mr. Baxter.
-Miss Kubelik -- -- you shouldn't be out of bed.
-I didn't know -- I had no idea this was your apartment --
-I'm so ashamed. Why didn't you just let me die?
-What kind of talk is that? So you got a little over- emotional -- but you're fine now.
-My head -- it feels like a big wad of chewing gum. What time is it?
-Two o'clock.
-You're in no condition to go anywhere -- except back to bed.
-You don't want me here --
-Miss Kubelik, I'm stronger than you are --
-I just want to go brush my teeth --
-Here. How about some breakfast?
-No -- I don't want anything.
-Who are you calling, Miss Kubelik?
-My sister -- she'll want to know what happened to me.
-Wait a minute -- let's talk this over first. Just what are you going to tell her?
-Well, I haven't figured it out, exactly.
-You better figure it out -- exactly. Suppose she asks you why you didn't come home last night?
-I'll tell her I spent the night with a friend.
-Who?
-Someone from the office.
-And where are you now?
-In his apartment.
-His apartment?
-I mean -- her apartment.
-What's your friend's name?
-Baxter.
-What's her first name?
-When are you coming home?
-As soon as I can walk.
-Something wrong with your legs?
-No -- it's my stomach.
-Your stomach?
-They had to pump it out.
-But they'll be worried about me -- my brother-in-law may be calling the police --
-That's why we have to be careful -- we don't want to involve anybody -- after all, Mr. Sheldrake is a married man --
-I didn't mean it that way -- I was just talking to him on the phone -- he's very concerned about you.
-He doesn't give a damn about me.
-Oh, you're wrong. He told me --
-She doesn't seem to like you very much.
-Oh, I don't mind. As a matter of fact, I'm sort of flattered -- that anybody should think a girl like you -- would do a thing like this -- over a guy like me.
-Oh. Did you find something here -- an envelope -- ?
-Yes, I've got it. Don't you think we'd better destroy it? So it won't fall into the wrong hands -- ?
-There's nothing here but a hundred dollar bill.
-That's right. Will you see that Mr. Sheldrake gets it?
-You want me to move the television set in here? You play gin rummy?
-I'm not very good at it.
-I am. Let me get the cards.
-I think I'm going to give it all up.
-Give what up?
-Why do people have to love people, anyway?
-Yeah -- I know what you mean. Queen.
-I don't want it.
-What do you call it when somebody keeps getting smashed up in automobile accidents?
-A bad insurance risk?
-That's me with men. I've been jinxed from the word go -- first time I was ever kissed was in a cemetery.
-A cemetery?
-I was fifteen -- we used to go there to smoke. His name was George -- he threw me over for a drum majorette.
-I just have this talent for falling in love with the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. BUD How many guys were there?
-Three. The last one was manager of a finance company, back home in Pittsburgh -- they found a little shortage in his accounts, but he asked me to wait for him -- he'll be out in 1965.
-Cut.
-So I came to New York and moved in with my sister and her husband -- he drives a cab. They sent me to secretarial school, and I applied for a job with Consolidated - but I flunked the typing test --
-Too slow?
-Oh. I can type up a storm, but I can't spell. So they gave me a pair of white gloves and stuck me in an elevator -- that's how I met Jeff -- Oh, God, I'm so fouled up. What am I going to do now?
-You better win a hand -- you're on a blitz.
-Was he really upset when you told him?
-Mr. Sheldrake? Oh, yes. Very.
-Maybe he does love me -- only he doesn't have the nerve to tell his wife.
-I'm sure that's the explanation.
-You really think so?
-No doubt about it.
-Can I have that pad and the pencil?
-What for?
-I'm going to write a letter to Mrs. Sheldrake.
-You are?
-As one woman to another -- I'm sure she'll understand --
-Why not?
-Well, for one thing, you can't spell. And secondly -- if you did something like that -- you'd hate yourself.
-I don't like myself very much anyway.
-Pick up your cards and let's go.
-Do I have to?
-You sure you want to throw that card?
-Sure.
-Who was that?
-Just somebody delivering a bottle of champagne. Like some?
-Now don't go getting any ideas, Miss Kubelik.
-I just want some fresh air.
-It's only one story down -- the best you can do is break a leg.
-So they'll shoot me -- like a horse.
-Please, Miss Kubelik, you got to promise me you won't do anything foolish.
-Who'd care?
-I would.
-Why can't I ever fall in love with somebody nice like you?
-There's a call for you --
-For me?
--- Mr. Sheldrake.
-I don't want to talk to him.
-Are you all right?
-Sure. What's that funny smell?
-Gas. Didn't you turn it on?
-Yes. I was boiling some water to get the coffee stains out of my dress.
-You turned it on -- but you didn't light it.
-Are you supposed to?
-In this house, you're supposed to.
-What are you doing with that?
-I was washing my stockings, so I decided I might as well do your socks.
-Thank you.
-It's very curious -- I could only find three and a half pair.
-Tennis racquet? Oh, I remember -- I was cooking myself an Italian dinner. I used it to strain the spaghetti. FRAN Why not?
-As a matter of fact, I'm a pretty good cook -- but I'm a lousy housekeeper.
-Yes, you are, When I was straightening up the couch, you know what I found? Six hairpins, a lipstick, a pair of false eyelashes, and a swizzle stick from the Stork Club.
-It's just that I'm the kind of guy who can't say no -- I don't mean to girls -- I mean --
-You mean to someone like Mr. Sheldrake.
-I guess so.
-I know so. He's a taker.
-A what?
-Some people take, some people get took -- and they know they're getting took -- and there's nothing they can do about it.
-I wouldn't say that -- What would you like to have for diner? There's onion soup and canned asparagus --
-You can't leave yet. The doctor says it takes forty-eight hours to get the stuff out of your system.
-I know how you feel, Miss Kubelik. You think it's the end of the world -- but it's not, really. I went through exactly the same thing myself.
-You did?
-Well, maybe not exactly -- I tried to do it with a gun.
-Over a girl?
-Worse than that -- she was the wife of my best friend -- and I was mad for her. But I knew it was hopeless -- so I decided to end it all. I went to a pawnshop and bought a forty-five automatic and drove up to Eden Park -- do you know Cincinnati?
-No, I don't.
-Anyway, I parked the car and loaded the gun -- well, you read in the papers all the time that people shoot themselves, but believe me, it's not that easy -- I mean, how do you do it? -- here, or here, or here -- -- you know where I finally shot myself?
-Where?
-Here.
-In the knee?
-Uh-huh. While I was sitting there, trying to make my mind up, a cop stuck his head in the car, because I was illegally parked -- so I started to hide the gun under the seat and it went off -- pow!
-That's terrible.
-Yeah. Took me a year before I could bend my knee -- but I got over the girl in three weeks. She still lives in Cincinnati, has four kids, gained twenty pounds -- she sends me a fruit cake every Christmas.
-Are you just making that up to make me feel better?
-No, thanks. The fellows in the office may get the wrong idea how I found out.
-So let 'em. Look, I'm going to cook dinner for us. We'll have the fruit cake for dessert. You just sit there and rest. You've done enough for one day.
-Are we dressing for dinner?
-No -- just come as you are.
-Say, you're pretty good with that racquet.
-Shall I light the candles?
-I see you bought some napkins.
-You know, I used to live like Robinson Crusoe -- shipwrecked among eight million people. Then one day I saw a footprint in the sand -- and there you were -- It's a wonderful thing -- dinner for two.
-You usually eat alone?
-Oh, no. Sometimes I have dinner with Ed Sullivan, sometimes with Dinah Shore or Perry Como -- the other night I had dinner with Mae West -- of course, she was much younger then. Cheers.
-You know what we're going to do after dinner?
-The dishes?
-I mean, after that?
-What?
-You don't have to if you don't want to --
-I don't?
-We're going to finish that gin game.
-Oh.
-Oh, Miss Kubelik. How do you feel?
-Fine. How's your eye?
-How's everything at the apartment?
-Nothing's changed. You know, we never finished that gin game --
-I know. I suppose you heard about Mr. Sheldrake --?
-You mean, leaving his wife? Yeah. I'm very happy for you.
-I never thought he'd do it.
-I told you all along. You see, you were wrong about Mr. Sheldrake.
-I guess so.
-For that matter, you were wrong about me, too. What you said about those who take and those who get took? Well, Mr. Sheldrake wasn't using me -- I was using him. See? Last month I was at desk 861 on the nineteenth floor -- now I'm on the twenty-seventh floor, paneled office, three windows -- so it all worked out fine -- we're
-Yes. You walking to the subway?
-Oh.
-Aren't you meeting Mr. Sheldrake?
-No. You know how people talk. So I decided it would be better if we didn't see each other till everything is settled, divorce-wise.
-That's very wise.
-Good night, Mr. Baxter.
-Are you all right?
-I'm fine.
-Are you sure? How's your knee?
-I'm fine all over.
-Mind if I come in?
-Where are you going? BUD Who knows? Another neighborhood -- another town -- another job -- I'm on my own.
-That's funny -- so am I. What did you do with the cards?
-What about Mr. Sheldrake?
-I love you, Miss Kubelik.
-Did you hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.
-Good evening, Mr. Baxter.
-Good evening, Mrs. Lieberman.
-Some weather we're having. Must be from all the meshugass at Cape Canaveral. You locked out of your apartment?
-No, no. Just waiting for a friend. Good night, Mrs. Lieberman.
-Oh -- Mrs. Lieberman.
-So who did you think it was -- Kris Kringle? What was going on here last night?
-Last night?
-All that marching -- tramp, tramp, tramp -- you were having army maneuvers maybe?
-I'm sorry, Mrs. Lieberman -- and I'll never invite those people again.
-What you get from renting to bachelors. All night I didn't sleep ten minutes -- and I'm sure you woke up Dr. Dreyfuss.
-Don't worry about Dr. Dreyfuss -- I happen to know he was out on a case.
-Oh, Mr. Baxter -- I'm glad you're here -- I was just going to get the passkey.
-What for?
-I thought I smelled gas coming from your apartment.
-Baxter?
-Yes, sir.
-I was sort of wondering what you looked like. Sit down.
-Been hearing some very nice things about you -- here's a report from Mr. Dobisch -- loyal, cooperative, resourceful --
-Mr. Dobisch said that?
-And Mr. Kirkeby tells me that several nights a week you work late at the office -- without overtime.
-Well, you know how it is -- things pile up.
-Mr. Vanderhof, in Public Relations, and Mr. Eichelberger, in Mortgage and Loan -- they'd both like to have you transferred to their departments.
-Tell me, Baxter -- just what is it that makes you so popular?
-I don't know.
-Would you mind repeating the question?
-Look, Baxter, I'm not stupid. I know everything that goes on in this building -- in every department -- on every floor -- every day of the year.
-You do?
-In 1957, we had an employee here, name of Fowler. He was very popular, too. Turned out he was running a bookie joint right in the Actuarial Department tying up the switchboard, figuring the odds on our I.B.M. machines -- so the day before the Kentucky Derby, I called in the Vice Squad and we raided the thirteenth floor.
-The Vice Squad?
-That's right, Baxter.
-What -- what's that got to do with me? I'm not running any bookie joint.
-What kind of joint are you running?
-Sir?
-There's a certain key floating around the office -- from Kirkeby to Vanderhof to Eichelberger to Dobisch -- it's the key to a certain apartment -- and you know who that apartment belongs to?
-Who?
-Loyal, cooperative, resourceful C. C. Baxter.
-Oh.
-Are you going to deny it?
-No, sir. I'm not going to deny it. But if you'd just let me explain --
-You better.
-Baxter, an insurance company is founded on public trust. Any employee who conducts himself in a manner unbecoming -- How many charter members are there in this little club of yours?
-Just those four -- out of a total of 31,259 -- so actually, we can be very proud of our personnel -- percentage-wise.
-That's not the point. Four rotten apples in a barrel -- no matter how large the barrel -- you realize that if this ever leaked out --
-Where is your apartment?
-West 67th Street. You have no idea what I've been going through -- with the neighbors and the landlady and the liquor and the key --
-How do you work it with the key?
-Where are you going, Baxter?
-Well, I don't want to intrude -- and I thought -- since it's all straightened out anyway --
-I'm not through with you yet.
-Yes, sir.
-The reason I called is -- I won't be home for dinner tonight. The branch manager from Kansas City is in town -- I'm taking him to the theatre Music Man, what else? No, don't wait up for me -- 'bye, darling. Tell me something, Baxter -- have you seen Music Man?
-Not yet. But I hear it's one swell show.
-How would you like to go tonight?
-You mean -- you and me? I thought you were taking the branch manager from Kansas City --
-I made other plans. You can have both tickets.
-Well, that's very kind of you -- only I'm not feeling well -- you see, I have this cold -- and I thought I'd go straight home.
-Baxter, you're not reading me. I told you I have plans.
-So do I -- I'm going to take four aspirins and get into bed -- so you better give the tickets to somebody else --
-I'm not just giving those tickets, Baxter -- I want to swap them.
-It also says here -- that you are alert, astute, and quite imaginative --
-This?
-That's good thinking, Baxter. Next month there's going to be a shift in personnel around here -- and as far as I'm concerned, you're executive material.
-I am?
-Oh -- terribly sorry. It's that cold --
-Relax, Baxter.
-Now remember, Baxter -- this is going to be our little secret.
-Yes, of course.
-You know how people talk.
-Oh, you don't have to worry --
-Not that I have anything to hide.
-Oh, no sir. Certainly not. Anyway, it's none of my business -- four apples, five apples -- what's the difference -- percentage-wise?
-Here you are, Baxter. Have a nice time.
-Morning, gentlemen. Everything satisfactory? You like your office?
-Oh, yes, sir. Very much. And I want to thank you --
-I like the way you handled that. Well, how does it feel to be an executive?
-Fine. And I want you to know I'll work very hard to justify your confidence in me -- SHELDRAKE Sure you will. Say, Baxter, about the apartment - now that you got a raise, don't you think we can afford a second key?
-Well -- I guess so.
-You know my secretary -- Miss Olsen --
-Oh, yes. Very attractive. Is she -- the lucky one?
-No, you don't understand. She's a busybody -- always poking her nose into things -- and with that key passing back and forth -- why take chances?
-To me?
-I mean -- the young lady -- whoever she may be -- it was on the couch when I got home last night.
-Oh, yes. Thanks.
-The mirror is broken. It was broken when I found it.
-So it was. She threw it at me.
-Sir?
-You know how it is -- sooner or later they all give you a bad time.
-I know how it is.
-You see a girl a couple of times a week -- just for laughs -- and right away she thinks you're going to divorce your wife. I ask you -- is that fair?
-No, sir. That's very unfair -- especially to your wife.
-Yeah. You know, Baxter, I envy you. Bachelor -- all the dames you want -- no headaches, no complications --
-Yes, sir. That's the life, all right.
-Put me down for Thursday again.
-Hello? -- yes -- what's on your mind, Baxter?
-I hate to disturb you, but something came up -- it's rather important -- and I think it would be a good idea if you could see me -- at the apartment -- as soon as possible.
-You're not making sense, Baxter. What's this all about?
-I didn't want to tell you over the phone but that certain party -- you know who I mean -- I found her here last night -- she had taken an overdose of sleeping pills.
-I thought maybe you'd like to be here when she wakes up.
-That's impossible. You'll have to handle this situation yourself -- as a matter of fact, I'm counting on you --
-Yes, she's in the shower -- she's coming along fine, considering.
-Good. Is there anything you need -- money -- ?
-No, thank you, Mr. Sheldrake. As a matter of fact, I've got some money for you -- a hundred dollars --
-Oh. Well, if there's anything I can do for you --
-For me? I don't think so. But I was hoping maybe you could do something for her --
-Mr. Sheldrake, I've got good news for you --
-And I've got good news for you, Baxter. All your troubles are over.
-Sir?
-I know how worried you were about Miss Kubelik -- well, stop worrying -- I'm going to take her off your hands.
-You're going to take her off my hands?
-That's right. I've moved out of my house -- I'm going to be staying in town, at the Athletic Club.
-You left your wife?
-Well, if you must know -- I fired my secretary, my secretary got to my wife, and my wife fired me. Ain't that a kick in the head?
-Yeah --
-Now what was your news, Baxter?
-It's about Miss Kubelik -- she's all right again -- so she went back home.
-You like? It's all yours.
-Mine?
-My assistant, Roy Thompson, has been shifted to the Denver office, and you're taking his place. What's the matter, Baxter? You don't seem very excited.
-Well, it's just that so many things have been happening so fast -- I'm very pleased -- especially for Miss Kubelik. Now that I've gotten to know her better, I think she's the kind of girl that definitely ought to be married to somebody --
-Oh, sure, sure. But first the property settlement has to be worked out -- then it takes six weeks in Reno -- meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy being a bachelor for a while. Oh, by the way, you can now have lunch in the executive dining room --
-That's just one of the privileges that goes with this job. You also get a nice little expense account, the use of the executive washroom -- Say, what happened to you, Baxter?
-I got kicked in the head, too.
-Here's the breakdown of figures on personnel turnover. Thirty-seven percent of our female employees leave to get married, twenty-two percent quit because --
-You're working too hard, Baxter. It's New Year's Eve -- relax.
-Yes, sir.
-I suppose you'll be on the town tonight -- celebrating?
-Naturally.
-Me, too. I'm taking Miss Kubelik out -- I finally talked her into it --
-I see.
-The only thing is I'm staying at the Athletic Club -- and it's strictly stag so if you don't mind --
-Don't mind what?
-You know that other key to your apartment -- well, when we had that little scare about Miss Kubelik, I thought I'd better get rid of it quick -- so I threw it out the window of the commuter train.
-Very clever.
-Now I'll have to borrow your key.
-Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake.
-What do you mean, sorry?
-You're not going to bring anybody up to my apartment.
-I'm not just bringing anybody -- I'm bringing Miss Kubelik.
-Especially not Miss Kubelik.
-How's that again?
-No key!
-Baxter, I picked you for my team because I thought you were a bright young man. You realize what you're doing? Not to me -- but to yourself. Normally it takes years to work your way up to the twenty-seventh floor -- but it takes only thirty seconds to be out on the street again. You dig?
-I dig.
-Now you're being bright?
-Say, Baxter -- you gave me the wrong key.
-No I didn't.
-But this is the key to the executive washroom.
-What's gotten into you, Baxter?
-Just following doctor's orders. I've decided to become a mensch. You know what that means? A human being.
-Now hold on, Baxter --
-Baxter?
-How do you do, Mr. Matuschka?
-Okay, get your clothes on. I got the cab downstairs.
-Now, wait a minute. I know what you're thinking -- but it's not as bad as it looks -- MATUSCHKA It's none of my business what you do, Fran -- you're over twenty- one -- but your sister happens to think you're a lady.
-All we were going to do is eat and wash the dishes --
-What's the matter with Miss Kubelik?
-Oh, this is Mr. Matuschka -- he's Miss Kubelik's -- he's got a cab downstairs --
-No, no -- just had a little accident.
-On account of me.
-You?
-Mr. Kirkeby, I don't like to complain -- but you were supposed to be out of here by eight.
-I know, Buddy-boy, I know. But those things don't always run on schedule -- like a Greyhound bus.
-I don't mind in the summer -- but on a rainy night -- and I haven't had any dinner yet --
-Sure, sure. Look, kid -- I put in a good word for you with Sheldrake, in Personnel.
-Mr. Sheldrake?
-That's right. We were discussing our department -- manpower-wise -- and promotion-wise -- -- and I told him what a bright boy you were. They're always on the lookout for young executives. BUD Thank you, Mr. Kirkeby.
-You're on your way up, Buddy-boy. And you're practically out of liquor.
-I know. Mr. Eichelberger -- in the Mortgage Loan Department -- last night he had a little Halloween party here --
-Well, lay in some vodka and some vermouth -- and put my name on it.
-Yes, Mr. Kirkeby. You still owe me for the last two bottles --
-Good morning, Mr. Kirkeby.
-Oh, how are you, Baxter. They keeping you busy these days?
-That Kubelik -- boy! Would I like to get her on a slow elevator to China.
-Oh, yes. She's the best operator in the building.
-I'm a pretty good operator myself -- but she just won't give me a tumble -- date-wise.
-Maybe you're using the wrong approach.
-A lot of guys around here have tried it -- all kinds of approaches -- no dice. What is she trying to prove?
-Could be she's just a nice, respectable girl -- there are millions of them.
-Hello? Yeah, Baxter. What's up?
-Instead of Friday -- could you possibly switch to Thursday? You'd be doing me a great favor --
-Baxter, we're a little disappointed in you -- gratitude-wise.
-So long, Baxter. We know you won't let us down.
-Hi, Baxter.
-What do you want?
-You can't come in.
-Look, you can't stay here. Just take your champagne and go.
-Baxter, I don't want to pull rank on you -- but I told the lady it was all set -- you want to make a liar out of me?
-Buddy-boy, why didn't you say so? You got yourself a little playmate, huh?
-Say, why don't we have ourselves a party -- the four of us?
-Hiya, Buddy-boy. I'm in this bar on Sixty-first Street -- and I got to thinking about you -- and I figured I'd give you a little buzz.
-Well, that's very nice of you -- but who is this?
-Dobisch -- Joe Dobisch, in Administration.
-Oh, yes, Mr. Dobisch. I didn't recognize your voice --
-That's okay, Buddy-boy. Now like I was saying, I'm in this joint on Sixty-first -- and I think I got lucky -- -- she's a skater with the Ice Show -- -- and I thought maybe I could bring her up for a quiet drink.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Dobisch. You know I like to help you guys out -- but it's sort of late -- so why don't we make it some other time?
-Buddy-boy -- she won't keep that long -- not even on ice. Listen, kid, I can't pass this up -- she looks like Marilyn Monroe.
-I don't care if it is Marilyn Monroe -- I'm already in bed -- and I've taken a sleeping pill -- so I'm afraid the answer is no.
-Look, Baxter -- we're making out the monthly efficiency rating -- and I'm putting you in the top ten. Now you don't want to louse yourself up, do you?
-Of course not. But -- how can I be efficient in the office if I don't get enough sleep at night?
-Make it thirty minutes. What do you say, Bud?
-I'm all out of liquor -- and there's no clean glasses -- no cheese crackers -- no nothing.
-Let me worry about that. Just leave the key under the mat and clear out.
-Oh, Buddy-boy. I was just about to call you. I'm sorry about that mess on the living room wall. You see, my little friend, she kept insisting Picasso was a bum -- so she started to do that mural -- but I'm sure it will wash off -- just eyebrow pencil.
-It's not Picasso I'm calling about. It's the key -- to my apartment -- you were supposed to leave it under the mat.
-I did, didn't I? I distinctly remember bending over and putting it there --
-Oh, I found a key there, all right -- only it's the wrong key.
-It is? Well, how about that? No wonder I couldn't get into the executive washroom this morning.
-And I couldn't get into my apartment -- so at four a. m. I had to wake up the landlady and give her a whole song and dance about going out to mail a letter and the door slamming shut.
-That's a shame. I'll send the key right down. And about your promotion -- -- I'm sending that efficiency report right up to Mr. Sheldrake, in Personnel. I wouldn't be surprised if you heard from him before the day is over.
-Teamwork -- that's what counts in an organization like this. All for one and one for all -- know what I mean?
-We went to bat for you -- and now you won't play ball with us.
-I sympathize with your problem -- and believe me, I'm very sorry --
-You'll be a lot sorrier before we're through with you.
-You threatening me?
-Dear Mr. MacIntosh -- Vanderhof, Public Relations. Oh, yes, Baxter. Just a minute. All right, Miss Finch -- type up what we got so far. Now what is it, Baxter?
-Look, Mr. Vanderhof -- I've got you down here for tonight -- but I'm going to be using the place myself -- so I'll have to cancel.
-Cancel? But it's her birthday -- I already ordered the cake --
-I hate to disappoint you -- I mean, many happy returns -- but not tonight --
-That's not like you, Baxter. Just the other day, at the staff meeting, I was telling Mr. Sheldrake what a reliable man you were.
-Thank you, Mr. Vanderhof. But I'm sick -- I have this terrible cold -- and a fever -- and I got to go to bed right after work.
-Buddy-boy, that's the worst thing you can do. If you got a cold, you should go to a Turkish bath -- spend the night there -- sweat it out --
-Oh, no. I'd get pneumonia -- and if I got pneumonia, I'd be in bed for a month -- and if I were in bed for a month --
-Okay, you made your point. We'll just have to do it next Wednesday -- that's the only night of the week I can get away.
-Quite an office -- name on the door -- rug on the floor -- the whole schmear.
-Good evening, Baxter.
-Hi, Doc. Had a late call?
-Yeah. Some clown at Schrafft's 57th Street ate a club sandwich, and forgot to take out the toothpick.
-Oh. 'Bye, Doc.
-Say, Baxter -- the way you're belting that stuff, you must have a pair of cast-iron kidneys.
-Oh, that's not me. It's just that once in a while, I have some people in for a drink.
-As a matter of fact, you must be an iron man all around. From what I hear through the walls, you got something going for you every night.
-I'm sorry if it gets noisy --
-Sometimes, there's a twi-night double-header. A nebbish like you!
-You know, Baxter -- I'm doing some research at the Columbia Medical Center -- and I wonder if you could do us a favor?
-Me?
-When you make out your will -- and the way you're going, you should -- would you mind leaving your body to the University?
-My body? I'm afraid you guys would be disappointed. Good night, Doc.
-There's a girl in my place -- she took some sleeping pills -- you better come quick -- I can't wake her up.
-She going to be all right, Doc?
-How many pills were in that bottle?
-What are you going to do, Doc?
-Want to tell me what happened?
-I don't know -- I mean -- I wasn't here -- you see -- we had some words earlier -- nothing serious, really -- what you might call a lovers' quarrel --
-So you went right out and picked yourself up another dame.
-Something like that.
-What's her name?
-Miss Kubelik -- Fran.
-Hello, Miss Kubelik.
-Mister -- Miss -- such politeness!
-She'll sleep on and off for the next twenty-four hours. Of course, she'll have a dandy hangover when she wakes up --
-Just as long as she's okay.
-Any of that coffee left?
-How do you spell her last name?
-Kubelik -- with two k's.
-Why do you want to know, Doc? You don't have to report this, do you?
-It's regulations.
-She didn't mean it, Doc -- it was an accident -- she had a little too much to drink and -- she didn't know what she was doing -- there was no suicide note or anything -- believe me, Doc, I'm not thinking about myself --
-Aren't you?
-It's just that she's got a family -- and there's the people in the office -- look, Doc, can't you forget you're a doctor -- let's just say you're here as a neighbor --
-Help yourself.
-I don't know what you did to that girl in there -- and don't tell me -- but it was bound to happen, the way you carry on. Live now, pay later. Diner's Club! Why don't you grow up, Baxter? Be a mensch! You know what that means?
-I'm not sure.
-A mansch -- a human being! So you got off easy this time -- so you were lucky --
-Yeah, wasn't I?
-How's the patient?
-Oh, I'm fine, Doc.
-Say, Baxter -- we're having a little party and we ran out of ice -- so I was wondering --
-Sure, Doc.
-How come you're alone on New Year's Eve?
-Well, I have things to do --
-What's this -- you packing?
-Where are you moving to?
-I don't know. All I know is I got to get out of this place.
-Sorry to lose you, Baxter.
-Can you use a bottle of champagne?
-Booze we don't need. Why don't you join us, Baxter? We got two brain surgeons, an ear, nose and throat specialist, a proctologist, and three nurses from Bellevue.
-No, thanks -- I don't feel like it. Look, Doc -- in case I don't see you again -- how much do I owe you for taking care of that girl?
-Forget it -- I didn't do it as a doctor -- I did it as a neighbor. By the way, whatever happened to her?
-You know me with girls. Easy come, easy go. Goodbye, Doc.
-You like Castro? I mean -- how do you feel about Castro? BUD What is Castro?
-You know, that big-shot down in Cuba with the crazy beard.
-What about him?
-Because as far as I'm concerned, he's a no good fink. Two weeks ago I wrote him a letter -- never even answered me.
-That so.
-All I wanted him to do was let Mickey out for Christmas.
-Who is Mickey?
-My husband. He's in Havana -- in jail.
-Oh. Mixed up in that revolution?
-Mickey? He wouldn't do nothing like that. He's a jockey. They caught him doping a horse.
-'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Not a creature was stirring -- Nothing -- No action -- Dullsville! You married?
-No.
-Family?
-No.
-A night like this, it sort of spooks you to walk into an empty apartment.
-Where do we go -- my place or yours?
-Poor Mickey -- when I think of him all by himself in that jail in Havana -- -- want to see his picture?
-Can I ask you a personal question?
-No.
-You got a girl-friend?
-She may be a girl -- but she's no friend of mine.
-Still stuck on her, huh.
-Stuck on her! Obviously, you don't know me very well.
-Say, this is Snugsville.
-Mrs. MacDougall, I think it is only fair to warn you that you are now alone with a notorious sexpot.
-No kidding.
-Ask anybody around here. As a matter of fact, when it's time for me to go -- and I may go just like that -- -- I have promised my body to the Columbia Medical Center.
-Gee. Sort of gives you goose-bumps just to think about it.
-Well, they haven't got me yet, baby. Dig up some ice from the kitchen and let's not waste any time -- preliminary-wise.
-Not so rough, honey.
-Good night.
-Good night?
-The party's over.
-What's the matter? Did I do something wrong?
-Say, what's going on here, anyway?
-Nothing. Just clear out, will you?
-Here -- find yourself a phone booth and call your husband in Havana.
--- so yesterday afternoon I take Sylvia up to the apartment, and guess who he's got stashed away in the bedroom?
-Who?
-Kubelik.
-No kidding. Buddy-boy and Kubelik having themselves a little toot!
-Toot? It's more like a lost weekend. Neither of them showed up for work today.
-A.W.O.L.?
-I see. What do you think, Al? Can we help the man?
-Why not? We don't owe Buddy-boy anything.
-Hi, Buddy-boy. What happened to you?
-That guy really must've belted him.
-Sleeping pills.
-That's right, Fran. And I'm a doctor.
-Doctor.
-Dr. Dreyfuss.
-Dreyfuss.
-Tell me again -- what's my name?
-Dr. Dreyfuss.
-And what happened to you?
-I took sleeping pills.
-Do you know where you are, Fran?
-No.
-Yes, you do. Now concentrate.
-Do you know who this is? Look at him.
-Please -- just let me sleep.
-What's with you, Fran -- did you forget where you live?
-What for?
-Because I took some sleeping pills. But I'm all right now -- so let's go.
-You fool -- you damn fool.
-Come on, Fran.
-Hi. How's the branch manager from Kansas City?
-I beg your pardon? MISS OLSEN I'm Miss Olsen -- Mr. Sheldrake's secretary.
-Yes, I know.
-So you don't have to play innocent with me. He used to tell his wife that I was the branch manager from Seattle -- four years ago when we were having a little ring-a-ding- ding.
-I don't know what you're talking about.
-And before me there was Miss Rossi in Auditing -- and after me there was Miss Koch in Disability -- and just before you there was Miss What's-Her-Name, on the twenty- fifth floor --
-Will you excuse me?
-Well -- thank you.
-Still afraid somebody may see us together?
-Let me take that.
-No, Jeff. I can't stay very long. Can I have a frozen daiquiri?
-It's on the way. I see you went ahead and cut your hair.
-That's right.
-You know I liked it better long.
-How long has it been -- a month?
-Six weeks. But who's counting?
-I missed you, Fran.
-Like old times. Same booth, same song --
-It's been hell.
--- same sauce -- sweet and sour.
-You don't know what it's like -- standing next to you in that elevator, day after day -- Good morning, Miss Kubelik -- Good night, Mr. Sheldrake -- I'm still crazy about you, Fran.
-Let's not start on that again, Jeff -- please. I'm just beginning to get over it.
-I don't believe you.
-Look, Jeff -- we had two wonderful months this summer -- and that was it. Happens all the time -- the wife and kids go away to the country, and the boss has a fling with the secretary or the manicurist -- or the elevator girl. Comes September, the picnic is over -- goodbye. The kids go back to school, the boss goes back
-I never said goodbye, Fran.
-How do you think I felt -- riding home on that seven-fourteen train?
-Why do you keep calling me, Jeff? What do you want from me?
-I want you back, Fran.
-Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake -- I'm full up. You'll have to take the next elevator.
-You're not giving me a chance, Fran. I asked you to meet me because -- I have something to tell you. FRAN Go ahead -- tell me.
-Not here, Fran. Can't we go some place else?
-No. I have a date at eight-thirty.
-Important?
-Fran -- remember that last weekend we had?
-Do I. That leaky little boat you rented -- and me in a black negligee and a life preserver --
-Remember what we talked about?
-We talked about a lot of things.
-I mean -- about my getting a divorce.
-We didn't talk about it -- you did.
-You didn't really believe me, did you?
-They got it an a long playing record now - Music to String Her Along By. My wife doesn't understand me -- We haven't gotten along for years -- You're the best thing that ever happened to me --
-That's enough, Fran.
-Just trust me, baby -- we'll work it out somehow --
-You're not being funny.
-I wasn't trying.
-If you'll just listen to me for a minute --
-Okay. I'm sorry.
-I saw my lawyer this morning -- I wanted his advice -- about the best way to handle it --
-Handle what?
-What do you think?
-Let's get something straight, Jeff -- I never asked you to leave your wife.
-Of course not. You had nothing to do with it.
-Are you sure that's what you want?
-I'm sure. If you'll just tell me that you still love me --
-You know I do.
-I have that date -- remember?
-Where are we going, Jeff? Not back to that leaky boat --
-Come on, Fran -- don't be like that. You just going to sit there and keep bawling? You won't talk to me, you won't tell me what's wrong -- Look, I know you think I'm stalling you. But when you've been married to a woman for twelve years, you don't just sit down at the breakfast table and say "Pass the sugar -- and
-Yeah -- that's me. The Happy Idiot -- a million laughs.
-Well, that's more like it. At least you're speaking to me.
-Funny thing happened to me at the office party today -- I ran into your secretary -- Miss Olsen. You know -- ring-a-ding-ding? I laughed so much I like to died.
-Is that what's been bothering you -- Miss Olsen? That's ancient history.
-I was never very good at history. Let me see -- there was Miss Olsen, and then there was Miss Rossi -- no, she came before -- it was Miss Koch who came after Miss Olsen --
-Now, Fran --
-And just think -- right now there's some lucky girl in the building who's going to come after me --
-How could I be so stupid? You'd think I would have learned by now -- when you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.
-It's Christmas Eve, Fran -- let's not fight.
-Oh. Our friend from the Chinese restaurant. Thanks, Fran. We better keep it here.
-Yeah, we better.
-Okay. I just thought as long as it was paid for --
-Don't ever talk like that, Fran! Don't make yourself out to be cheap.
-A hundred dollars? I wouldn't call that cheap. And you must be paying somebody something for the use of the apartment --
-Stop that, Fran.
-Coming?
-You run along -- I want to fix my face.
-Don't forget to kill the lights. See you Monday.
-Sure. Monday and Thursday -- and Monday again -- and Thursday again --
-Hello, Jeff. Yes, I'm all right.
-Are you there, Fran?
-Of course I'm not here -- because the whole thing never happened -- I never took those pills -- I never loved you -- we never even met -- isn't that the way you want it?
-Sorry it took me so long on the phone. But we're all set.
-All set for what?
-I rented a car -- it's going to be here at one o'clock -- we're driving to Atlantic City.
-Atlantic City?
-I know it's a drag -- but you can't find a hotel room in town -- not on New Year's Eve.
-Ring out the old year, ring in the new. Ring-a-ding-ding.
-I didn't plan it this way, Fran -- actually, it's all Baxter's fault.
-Baxter?
-He wouldn't give me the key to the apartment.
-He wouldn't.
-Just walked out on me -- quit -- threw that big fat job right in my face.
-The nerve.
-That little punk -- after all I did for him! He said I couldn't bring anybody to his apartment -- especially not Miss Kubelik. What's he got against you, anyway?
-I don't know. I guess that's the way it crumbles -- cookie-wise.
-What are you talking about?
-Please, Sylvia! It's a quarter to nine!
-First you can't wait to get me up here, and now -- rush, rush, rush! Makes a person feel cheap.
-Sylvia -- sweetie -- it's not that -- but I promised the guy I'd be out of here by eight o'clock, positively.
-What guy? Whose apartment is this, anyway?
-Some setup you got here. A real, honest-to-goodness love nest.
-You got to watch those things. Wives are getting smarter all the time. Take Mr. Bernheim -- in the Claims Department -- came home one night with lipstick on his shirt -- told his wife he had a shrimp cocktail for lunch -- so she took it out to the lab and had it analyzed -- so now she has the house in Great
-Where do you live?
-I told you -- with my mother.
-Where does she live?
-A hundred and seventy-ninth street -- the Bronx.
-All right -- I'll take you to the subway.
-Like hell you will. You'll buy me a cab.
-Why do all you dames have to live in the Bronx?
-You mean you bring other girls up here?
-Yes? Oh, hello -- sure I got home all right -- you owe me forty-five cents.
-Okay, okay. Look, Sylvia -- instead of Friday - could we make it Thursday night?
-Thursday? That's The Untouchables -- with Bob Stack.
-Stay with it, Buddy-boy! Come on, Sylvia.
-What gives?
-A little mixup in signals. Let's go.
-Go where?
-What's your mother doing this afternoon?
-She's home -- stuffing a turkey.
-Why don't we send her to a movie -- like Ben-Hur?
-Did you have a nice Christmas?
-Lovely. You were a big help.
-Me? SHELDRAKE Thank you for giving that little pep talk to Miss Kubelik at the office party.
-I'm sorry, Jeff. You know I could never hold my liquor --
-But I thought you could hold your tongue.
-It won't happen again.
-You bet it won't. I'll arrange for you to get a month's severance pay -- That's right, Miss Olsen. I'm letting you go.
-You let me go four years ago, Jeff. Only you were cruel enough to make me sit out there and watch the new models pass by.
-I'd appreciate it if you'd be out of here as soon as you can.
-Hey, Dad -- why don't we put a fly in the nose cone and see if we can bring it back alive?
-It's a thought.
-Maybe we should send up two flies -- and see if they'll propagate in orbit.
-See if they'll what?
-Propagate -- you know, multiply -- baby flies?
-You came in on that boat, didn't you?
-Yeah --
-Where are you headed?
-What's it matter? Get to the point.
-Look -- you know the girls -- Thta's Terri -- she was playmate of --
-Oh -- I see -- Well, girls, this is Captain -- eh --
-Captain Willard -- go ahead.
-Look -- we got in a little trouble -- they rudely took our helicopter for MedEvac work on this -- uh Operation Brute Force -- They just brought it back this morning.
-Yeah.
-Well I mean like they also took our fuel -- We've been here two days.
-Dreadful.
-Look -- the girls could get killed -- we're not supposed to be this close combat, I mean real combat.
-Well --
-We could use some fuel -- just a half drum -- just enough to get us out a here.
-Look -- you know who that is, Captain -- you know what she's saying -- you'll never see stuff that good outside of a magazine for the rest of your life.
-I'm not that fond of blondes -- maybe I like brunettes --
-Take your pick -- they all like you -- I can tell --
-I like all of them --
-Good -- like I said, take your pick.
-I said I like all of them.
-We need all our fuel anyway.
-Wait -- wait -- don't get up tight -- what I meant was we'd need a whole drum for that --
-What's there to talk about -- this whole thing disgusts me.
-My men --
-What !
-You're out of your skull --
-We have a lot of pride in our unit --
-How far do you think you can push -- what kind of people do you think --
-Esprit de corps --
-No -- absolutely not --
-One for all -- all for one --
-You make some of your closest friends in the army -- war has a way of bringing men together.
-Get out --
-Two whole drums --
-We can use some fifty caliber and a 16 too --
-I don't know what you're talking about -- Get fucked --
-We've been attacked.
-Who the hell are you?
-Moonby. Got any Winstons?
-Moonby what?
-Moonby, 4th battalion, Royal Australian Regiment, Task Force. Ex-Corporal Moonby, deserted.
-How about a drink ?
-Winning the war by yourself.
-Part.
-Which part is that ?
-That's good gin.
-I'm sure it is, but I had hepatitis.
-Delta ?
-No.
-North ?
-Yeah. Way north.
-What unit were you with ?
-None.
-Rangers, eh?
-Were you Longe Range Recon --
-That's quite an array of ribbons...
-Let's talk about you.
-I was an FO for the 25th.
-Tracks ?
-Yeah.
-Fat. That's real fat.
-Sometimes.
-At least you always have enough water. How many gallons does each one of those damn things carry ?
-Thirty -- sometimes fifty.
-You know, I can remember once, getting back below the DMZ -- and the first Americans we ran into were a track squadron. I just couldn't believe how much water they had. We'd been chewing bamboo shoots for almost a week, and before that, for two weeks, we'd been drinking anything -- rain water, river shit, stuff right out of the paddies. And there
-I didn't know we had units up there in North Vietnam.
-We do.
-How long were you up there ?
-A long time.
-A year ? Waiter another beer.
-Headquarters 11 Corps -- 405th A.S.A Battalion -- S-2 -- Com-Sec -- Intelligence -- Nha Trang.
-It's really too much -- I mean I've collected every picture of her since she was Miss December.
-So what happened ?
-He was working A.R.V.N. patrols and had one a them little cocky gook asshole Lieutenants -- anyhow, the Lieutenant took his new Playboy one day, sat on the end of the dock, and wouldn't give it back.
-Yeah -- typical A.R.V.N.
-Holy shit.
-Arch light.
-Chef.
-Yes, sir --
-Why they call you that?
-Call me what, sir?
-Chef -- is that 'cause you like mangoes an' stuff?
-No, sir -- I'm a real chef, sir -- I'm a sauciere --
-A sauciere --
-That's right, sir -- I come from New Orleans -- I was raised to be a sauciere.. a great sauciere. We specialize in sauces; my whole family. It's what we do. I was supposed to go to Paris and study at the Escoffier School; I was saving the money. They called me for my physical so I figured the Navy had better food.
-What are you doing out here?
-Cook school -- that did it.
-How?
-I've arranged with those people we saw at Hau Fat to give us some 50 caliber in trade for a couple a drums of fuel --
-No shit.
-Chef -- since you're such a fan of Miss December's I think you should be detailed with Lance and Clean to take the first drum up there.
-What do you see?
-I know it sounds stupid, but I feel like the goddamn jungle's watching us.
-Probably is.
-Whatdoya think it thinks.
-There's some bad holes, man, and the cracks -- water's coming through the cracks. Food's shot to hell.
-How much is left?
-And the grass?
-That's a light down there --
-Charlie?
-Looks that way.
-Who's he?
-Captain -- they've been probed all this week -- Cong and NVA regulars. There's gonna be a big offense any time.
-What are we doing here?
-He killed that guy without feeling anything.
-Not a thing.
-When you kill Cong, don't you feel something.
-This is evil -- evil, Captain. We're all gonna die here.
-Yeah, I know.
-I don't get it -- You said your mission was to kill him. Let's do it, an' get our asses outta here. This Kurtz is ruining the war; I mean, this don't look good for America !
-... he's an amazing officer.
-Can I go get those mangos now?
-You forgot the mangoes, didn't you?
-Elevate Lance, in the tree. No, I saw another.
-What'd he say?
-Flood.
-I met the P.B.R. crew; they were pretty much all kids, except for Phillips, the Chief -- Gunner's Mate Third Class L. Johnson -- Lance Johnson; Gunner's Mate Third Class J. Hicks -- The Chef -- Radio Operator Second Class T. Miller; they called him Mr. Clean.
-Chief, try to keep out of where we're going -- Why we're goin' and what's gonna be the big surprise.
-All right with me, I used to drive a taxi.
-The Delta closes off to us about ten miles out of Hau Fat. We'll be able to pick up some supplies -- bit I think there are only two points we can draw enough water to get into the Nung River. It's all Charlie's turf from there on out.
-We're gonna have some help to get in the river. You know these waters, Chief ?
-'Bout six months ago I took a man up to Lo Mung Bridge. He was regular Army too. Shot himself in the head. I brought his body back down.
-Shot himself. What for ?
-Smoke !
-Yeah -- fishing village -- helicopters over there. Hueys, lots of 'em.
-We could go in tomorrow at dawn -- there's always off-shore wind in the morning.
-Yeah, Chef -- go ahead -- take Lance with you --
-Careful, Captain, they've been known to charge.
-What're you trying to say, Captain --
-You'll see soon enough -- get going, sailor --
-Wow, you must a found the C.O., eh?
-What about ducking into one of those tributaries till this river slows down?
-Who knows what's up there?
-Can't be any worse than this. What do you think?
-Well, get in there.
-Get in there !
-This is my crew and my fucking boat, and I'm the responsible party.
-What the hell is it?
-They're not Cong.
-I --
-Rocks, sand -- those two men who deserted.
-When'd you do it?
-Why -- Charlie put it there to kill --
-Whoever put'em there didn't do it to kill people -- They put 'em up as signs --
-Signs?
-Listen.
-What is it?
-Will they attack?
-Two hours after the fog lifted, we moved slowly to a spot we thought was roughly a mile and a half below Kurtz's camp. We approached a long sand-bank stretching down the middle of the river.
-Which way? Right or left?
-Who knows? Right.
-Anybody see some smoke ?
-What cat ?
-One that went up for murder -- he was an Army Sergeant.
-I never heard about that.
-They nail him for it bad ?
-Forget that extra drum -- it's too damn hot.
-Clear on starboard -- Where's Lance an' the Captain?
-Jesus -- that guy's too damn much.
-What do you want ?
-If you're B.L. Willard, 4th Recon Group, we'd like you to come with us.
-I only met Kurtz once.
-Would he remember you ?
-You didn't like him.
-What does that mean ?
-Our Recon flight ?
-Ours.
-Touchy.
-You can see, of course, the implications, if any of this -- even rumours leaked out.
-You want me to clean it up -- simple and quiet.
-Exactly -- you'll go up the Nung River in a Navy P.B.R. -- appear at Nu Mung Ba as if by accident, re-establish your acquintance with Colonel Kurtz, find out what's happened -- and why. Then terminate his command.
-Terminate ?
-Hey, buddy, that boat still runs, eh?
-Yeah, it still runs.
-Do me a favor buddy, please.
-It's to everyone I really knew -- the first girl I screwed -- my brother -- best friend -- I wanted to tell 'em how much I enjoyed knowing 'em -- it's been a great twenty years. I gotta let 'em know.
-What're you askin' me for -- put 'em in the first helicopter comes in tomorrow.
-You got a chance in that boat -- by morning you could be five miles down the river.
-Spooky.
-Charlie?
-What -- happened here.
-Charlie?
-Who is he?
-How did they know?
-Yeah.
-Colonel Kurtz, he's dead.
-Captain B.L. Willard, G-4 Headquarters, reporting as ordered, sir.
-No, sir.
-This gentleman or myself ?
-No, sir.
-I believe on your last job you executed a tax collector in Kontum, is that right ?
-You know much about about Special Forces; Green Berets, Captain ?
-Yeah.
-I thought he was a lame.
-A lame ?
-This is years ago, before he joined Special Forces, I guess. We had an argument.
-About what ?
-I don't know. He was a lame, that's all.
-But why ?
-He couldn't get through a sentence without all these big words; about why we kill.
-Well, he's killing now.
-Fifty calibers, eh, Captain --
-As I said, we can pay you in gold.
-American weapons?
-We don't want to bother you any, we --
-A habit of men of war, sir -- you understand.
-It is very good -- there is no current -- It is very good. I have never seen one like it in all Indochina. I was in Paris when it arrived -- do you know what might have caused --
-Looks like a two thousand pound to me. Yeah, a two thousand pound bomb.
-Attacks repulsed, as I was saying. This is only for this war, Captain. Viet Cong -- 54; North Vietnamese regular forces -- 15; South Vietnamese -- 28 -- regular forces and otherwise. Americain -- 6. Of course, they were, perhaps, mistakes, Captain.
-Of course. I -- Once we make our repairs, we could send word, we could have you evacuated from here.
-Captain?
-You'll get blown outta here some day.
-We will never 'evacuate', Captain -- this is our home. Indochina is ours; it has been so for a hundred and twenty-one years, there is something to say for that.
-The Vietnamese think it's theirs -- I guess the Americans do, too.
-But we civilized it. A place belongs to those who bring light to it, don't you agree.
-Upriver? Why upriver? There is nothing there, only jungle.
-Do you know that jungle?
-When I was a boy, my father would take me there, to hunt. There are a few savages, but no man can live there, no white man.
-Two of my men deserted last night. It happens from time to time. I assume my daughter told you of our conditions.
-I guess this is whAt men of war do -- eh?
-What's your name, sailor ?
-Gunner's Mate, Third Class -- L. Johnson, sir.
-Lance Johnson? The surfer?
-It's an honor to meet you Lance. I've admired your nose-riding for years -- I like your cutback, too. I think you have the best cutback there is.
-Thank you, sir.
-Where've you been riding, Lance?
-I haven't surfed since I got here.
-Good swell.
-What, sir?
-You think that section on the point is ridable, Lance?
-They far enough?
-You smell that. You smell that?
-What?
-The wind --
-Yeah, I'm an artist, goddamit !
-Mike, you know anything about the point at Vin Drip Drop?
-Boss left.
-What do you mean?
-Why the hell didn't you tell me about that place -- a good left. There aren't any good left slides in this whole, shitty country. It's all goddamn beach break.
-It's hairy ,though. That's where we lost McDonnel -- they shot the hell out of us. It's Charlie's point.
-How big it is?
-Change.
-Wh -- what?
-Change -- get out there -- I want'a see if it's ridable -- change.
-It's still pretty hairy, sir.
-Big Duke Six to Hell's Angels Four -- bring it in on along tree line and huts.
-Hell's Angels Four to Big Duke Six -- we'll need green smoke -- suggest you have the FAC mark it.
-This is Baker Delta Four -- Captain hit bad -- need dust-off. Receiving heavy automatic weapons fire from huts about thirty yards to our left.
-Eagle Thrust Four -- Big Duke Six. Join me in sparaying some trees.
-Affirmative, Big Duke Six -- We're even got some rockets left.
-Captain B-L. Willard, sir -- 4th Recon Group -- I carry priority papers from Com-Sec Intelligence 11 Corp -- I believe you understand the nature of my mission.
-My orders are from Com-Sec Intel -- B.L. Willard, 4th Recon --
-Why the hell you wanna go up to Nu Mung Ba for?
-I got bored in Saigon.
-What's the furthest you been in?
-Haiphong.
-Haiphong? Shit, you jump in ?
-No. Walked.
-What'd you do for supplies?
-Mercenaries -- agents, traitors -- they put out caches.
-Can you trust them?
-No. They put out two or three for every one I needed. When you get to the one you'll use, you just stake it out. If something feels wrong, you just pass it up. On one mission, I had to pass up three and ended up living on rats and chocolate bars.
-Nu Mung Ba. Last I heard, Walter Kurtz commanded a Green Beret detachment at Nu Mung Ba.
-When did you hear?
-'Bout a year ago? Is Kurtz still alive?
-Who knows.
-Seems to me he got himself fragged. i heard some grunt rolled a grenade in his tent. Maybe a rumor. Helluva man -- remarkable officer. Walter Kurtz woulda been a General some day. General of the Army. Shit, Head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Did you knew Kurtz?
-I met him.
-Don't you agree?
-He musta changed ! I got to get into the Nung River, here or here.
-That village you're pointing at is kinda hairy.
-Hairy ?
-I mean it's hairy -- they got some pretty heavy ordnance, boy -- I've lost a few recon ships in there now and again.
-So? I heard you had a good bunch of killers here.
-And I don't intend to get some of them chewed up just to get your tub put in the mouth of the goddman Nung River. You say you don't know Kurtz?
-I met him.
-You talk like him. I don't mind taking casualties, Captain, but I like to keep my ratio ten to one in this unit -- ten Cong to one.
-You'll find enough Cong up there.
-We'll come in low out of the rising sun -- We'll put on the music about a mile out.
-Music?
-Fucking savages.
-Who?
-Sonuvabitch -- anybody hurt?
-Automatic weapons flashes along those trees -- probably eleven millimeter guns and AK-47's.
-I'm waiting for the fucking boat, Colonel.
-You know, some day this war's gonna end..
-It's gonna blow this place out. It's gonna ruin it ...
-Colonel Kurtz, I guess.
-I'm Kurtz.
-Why did you come to ... my province.
-We were attacked -- down river. We need supplies and medical help.
-You were not coming here, to see me?
-No -- no, sir.
-You came up my river -- in that small boat. So simple. I always thought the final justice would come from the sky, like we did. You are the final justice, aren't you?
-What do you mean, Colonel?
-What other reason could you have come? A Captain. Ranger. Paratrooper. Graduate of the Recondo School. Am I right about these things?
-Do you know me?
-Yeah, I can see that. He's fuckin nuts --
-I said get the fuck out ! I'm going to kill the little weirdo myself tomorrow. He's only stayed alive this long because he's a good orderly and medic. He knows how to use a hypodermic.
-You're gonna get hit tonight, bad -- a whole regiment of NVA regulars.
-Do you?
-Yeah, I like it...
-You've gone crazy.
-No -- I don't want to sleep. I want to think. Water. Give me water.
-You can't have water after morphine.
-Still playing by the rules. You're a damn good kiler.
-How's the pain?
-How's yours?
-I can handle it.
-Pain is easy to handle -- but nobility.. the nobility of a man is judged by how much Truth he can handle.
-What Truth?
-Gimme water.
-No water.
-How did we get here?
-Because of all the things we do, the thing we do best -- is lie.
-I think think a lie stinks.
-Oh Captain, that is so true.
-You could never figure it because it doesn't make sense.
-Fuck no.
-I'll tell you what makes sense ! Air strikes ! White Phosphorus ! Napalm ! We'll bomb the shit out of them if they don't do what we want.
-Go away -- hide yourself.
-What are you doing?
-Going back - to the jungle to die.
-I'm taking you back. You can still live.
-I had immense plans.
-I'm gonna get you out of here.
-My river... my people... my jungle... my ideas... my country... my wife... ... my death.
-You had immense plans... immense plans...
-Yes...
-Did you know him very well?
-You get to know each other pretty well out there.
-And you admired him?
-He was a remarkable man. It was impossible not to --
-Love him... Yes, it is true. That's the hard part for me... I knew him better than anyone ... I knew him best.
-You knew him best.
-You were his friend... You must have been, if he had given you this... If he sent you to his home. He was the best this country had -- he was --
-Yes, I know...
-I'll never get over it -- But I'll always remember him...
-Both of us...
-Men looked up to him... He died as he lived...
-His death was -- yes, he died as he lived.
-Were you with him, when...
-Maybe he'll get tubed.
-What?
-What's that?
-He'll kill us.
-Are you finished surfing?
-Yeah... thanks.
-Want to say goodbye to the Colonel?
-Nah.
-No -- no, Captain.
-Which one's the Colonel's?
-This one , Lance?
-Maybe we better stay in under the trees till dark -- we got his Yater.
-You hear it again?
-No -- I don't think so. But it'll be back. They were circling. It'll be back.
-You think he'd of shot us?
-When?
-I don't think he'd of shot us on the beach but -- he'd of shot us if he saw me taking the board --
-A Yater spoon is hard to get -- especially here.
-Captain -- that was all true about the rats and chocolate and stuff?
-Sure.
-And you could just tell when the supplies were booby trapped?
-What's this tiger shit?
-No shit... I think I shot the hell out of him.
-You think?
-The other one --
-What?
-Captain Willard?
-That's me.
-You don't know how happy that makes me, sir.
-Why?
-Now I can get out a here -- if I can find a way out.
-We'll be needing some supplies and fuel -- do you know anybody who can give me a hand?
-I'd just clear out as soon as I could if I were you, sir. They're gonna start working on the bridge with torches again. Charlie will start throwing it in hard --
-What is this bridge?
-This boat's a mess.
-Where's Kurtz? I want to talk to him.
-Oh, you don't talk to Colonel Kurtz. You listen to him. God, these are good. I kept these people off you, you know. It wasn't easy.
-Why did they attack us?
-Simple. They don't want him to go.
-You're Australian?
-Pre-Australian, actually. But I'd dig goin' to California. I'm California dreamin'.
-So Kurtz is alive.
-But lemme tell you, he is the most dangerous thing in every way that I've come on so far. He wanted to shoot me. The first thing he said is, 'I'm going to shoot you because you are a deserter.' I said I didn't desert from your army, I deserted from my army. He said, 'I'm going to shoot you just the same.'
-Why didn't he shoot you?
-Sounds like he's gone crazy.
-No, Colonel Kurtz couldn't be crazy -- if you heard him talk, just last week, you'd never think he was crazy.
-Is that where he is? By the shrunken heads.
-Those heads, yes. Well, the rebels...
-Right on -- he's been waiting for --
-Who are you?
-His name is...
-May I ask where the Captain is going in his little boat?
-You must realize, Captain -- we have lost much here -- I, my husband. Gaston -- his wife and son.
-I'm sorry to hear that.
-Cognac?
-I should be checking on the boat.
-Do you miss your home, Captain? Have you someone there?
-What will you do after the war?
-I just follow my footsteps, one at a time, trying to answer the little questions and staying away from the big ones.
-What's a big question?
-Kurtz. I know you've heard of him.
-Yes.
-What did you hear?
-That strange things.. terrible things have occured around this American, Kurtz.
-What things?
-Gaston would never tell me. It was asubject not to be spoken of, Captain.
-Yes.
-Did you know -- deeper in the jungle, upriver -- there are savages?
-I know.
-Are you warm, Captain?
-I'm afraid I won't have time -- I gotta --
-So that's it.
-What if I say no.
-I don't know anything about these papers, sir.
-They're in order -- it's perfectly clean -- just check with ComSec- Intel like I said.
-Well, you know I don't have the priority to do that, sir. It says here not to contact Com-Sec- Int. Who's your commanding officer ?
-Right now -- I am.
-Well who the hell verifies that ?
-What show ?
-Big show in the parade grounds this noon -- some boss stuff --
-This -- Bob Hope or the like --
-That's 27, sir.
-Soldier -- where''s your C.O.?
-Stepped on a booby trap, sir -- got blown all to hell --
-Well , who's in command here?
-You came right to it, son of a bitch --
-Where's your chief supply officer?
-Beverly Hills --
-What?
-Straight up the road -- a concrete bunker -- Beverly Hills -- where else you think he'd be?
-20 CONTINUED:
-23 CONTINUED:
-Hard to work up an interest in politics, way we live. You're the first people we've seen in two weeks.
-30 CONTINUED:
-34 CONTINUED:
-See the blood? Pack of wolves took down a moose. Greedy, gut-ripping sons of bitches. I'd kill the last wolf on earth, right in front of the President of the U.S. Stinking, cowardly predator, the wolf.
-102 CONTINUED:
-You talk about ecology -- there it is.
-117 CONTINUED:
-134 CONTINUED:
-First you save my ass, now you want to kill me. Make up your goddamn mind.
-What makes you so sure my boys won't be waiting for us?
-Remember that demon in the gut? Sometimes it's nothing more than wondering if the so-called civilized life has bred the balls and brains out of you. That's what you want out of this, isn't it?
-Relax. I got a nervous man here with a magnum up my nose.
-215 CONTINUED:
-Avalanche season is coming.
-48 CONTINUED:
-Let's go.
-95 CONTINUED:
-113 CONTINUED:
-119 CONTINUED:
-...I won't let a killer walk!
-165 CONTINUED:
-165 CONTINUED:
-You'll catch a chill by that dumb waiter shaft. Sit on the cot. Keep this pointed at him if I get preoccupied.
-184 CONTINUED:
-212 CONTINUED:
-26 CONTINUED:
-Watch it with Meyerling. Man's as mean and corrupt as they get. Cut his mother's throat if it'd get him a couple votes.
-27 CONTINUED:
-A certain sonofabitch bastard -more-
-39 CONTINUED:
-How long have you been up north?
-Six months.
-My dad was a Navy doctor.
-Knew you had no native blood, even with your dark hair. Blue eyes give you away. My wife had blue eyes.
-Had?
-She's dead.
-Oh.
-Had some good years. Met her in '66. She showed up one day in Coldfoot. No one knew her. One Sunday morning, she marched into a bar and announced she was available as a wife to the highest bidder. Didn't work out in three months, she'd return the money and leave, no hard feelings. My bid was eight thousand dollars. Beautiful girl.
-How did she..?
-What about you -- why come back? Classy girl like you seems more suited to the finer things.
-You should know something.
-I don't want to talk any more.
-Have you talked to Eric?
-I have not, but I very much want to. What do you know about the trouble in Devil's Cauldron?
--- Get this straight: I'm the District Supervisor. Whatever you do reflects on me. It wasn't my idea to bring you people up here, but I'm stuck with you. You are absolutely not to involve yourself in any local disputes. Whichever side you take, you alienate the other. Mr. Corbett is quite well-known in this region. People admire him --
-What happened here?
-The radio's on the fritz.
-Where'd you say Eric is?
-Somewhere along the pipeline.
-What about that hotheaded marshal, Sam Wilder? I heard he was in the middle of this mess.
-Sam? We haven't seen him.
-Really. I thought maybe that was his snowmobile outside. By the way -- your truck also 'on the fritz?'
-Why?
-He's coming around fine.
-What are you doing?
-Stay here.
-Great idea -- pointing a lousy dart gun at some nut with a high-powered hunting rifle.
-Thanks.
-I call it 'the Turtle,' as in carrying your home on your back.
-Best thing is, Meyerling has to chase around to find us.
-I'll go into town with you.
-Eric, leave it alone. It's not your business.
-Did you catch Corbett?
-Sure did. He was one of the trappers we rousted from the Haul Road.
-Was there any trouble?
-He was sitting in a hot tub with a hooker.
-Going after killers isn't the same as chasing poachers, Eric.
-Oh, sweetheart. It's beautiful!
-You were looking at it in the catalog. Don't know where you can wear it...
-I'll wear it for you. And I can wear it when we go home. We won't be here forever.
-You make it sound like a prison sentence.
-That's not what I meant.
-It's exactly what you meant.
-Look, why get into this again. As long as it's working, let's leave it alone. It's been nice so far. We're together --
--- Permanently?
-I still can't believe I'm being financed by an oil company. Especially when they get a look at these pictures. Technology in the wilderness; not too pretty. What's that?
-Winter. Two straight months of night -- we may never get out of bed. Which would suit me fine.
-Prolonged darkness makes people crazy.
-High-tech in the wilderness. Gets me excited, too.
-Let's go.
-Maybe you should drive him into Devil's Cauldron, let them decide what to do with him.
-Be careful, okay?
-Oh, Christ, sweetheart. Four days! I thought you were dead, or worse.
-You can't stay here. Go back to the Turtle. I'll meet you back there in a few hours.
-What's going on?
-I'll tell you everything later.
-Where's Corbett?
-Here. A transport plane is due at eleven. Once I put him on it, it's all over.
-Please, Anne Marie, you being here only complicates things.
-You're hurt.
-Technology in the wilderness. Only problem is talking to you on your way to the landing strip.
-When you ran off, I thought you'd keep going 'til you were back home in Washington.
-Leave it here.
-Let's keep going. We're only an hour from Devil's Cauldron.
-Had no choice... ...Given the situation.
-Go ahead. Take the jeep. I'll come to Cache with Bob when he gets here.
-Okay by me. You're the one likes these hot springs so much.
-You got two counts against you -- trapping out of season and poaching on restricted land.
-Can't be much of a crime, if all they got minding the area is a cocky kid.
-Ben Corbett?
-Yep. Afraid you have me at a disadvantage.
-Kenai at the general store asked me to bring these. Didn't expect we'd already met.
-Desmond.
-New to the country, kid?
-Six months. Ecological study for Northland Oil.
-Nice bluff the other day with the tranquilizer gun out your jeep window. See you again, maybe.
-A lot to ask, dragging him away from such a good-looking girl --
-Does he have people?
-A daughter in Oregon.
-Surviving is what I know --
-How the hell were they smart enough to find us?
-Been driving long?
-I needed a pilot's license to take the job here, so I got one in six weeks.
-Sounds like professional jealousy.
-Stay put!
-Next time you want to kill yourself, don't include me.
-I took the odds on getting down in one piece, and I made it. Now we're in my territory.
-With light clothing and no supplies, this is nobody's territory.
-I'm not gonna carry you out of here.
-That's right. You're not.
-Why in hell you care enough about me to die taking me in?
-We'll stop here, dig out a snow shelter.
-Still quite a hike to Devil's Cauldron. Days. A long stretch to go without sleep, my friend. You can hide behind that pistol for now, but take your eyes off me long enough to sneeze --
-Ice is too thin -- you can see the water moving underneath.
-We're not sitting here 'til November. There's a cargo plane coming to Devil's Cauldron in four days, and I'm putting you on it.
-We get wet, we freeze to death in a couple hours.
-Be my guest.
-Most dangerous thing in the world: A regular Joe, in over his head. You trying to prove how tough you are for me, or for yourself?
-It wasn't my idea to crash the plane.
-Let's camp. There's grayling under this ice. I'll snare some for dinner.
-We've got another two hours of daylight.
-Have to backtrack, find another way down.
-Forget it. It would take days.
-Damn lucky this storm didn't blow down when we were on those baldheaded mountains. It continues, we better stay put.
-It could blow over tomorrow, too.
-Where in hell Meyerling dig you up?
-You know Meyerling?
-Sure love to know where you fit in up here.
-I'm here to do my job.
-Folks come to Alaska for a real short list of reasons: Money. Adventure. Solitude. Those cover most everyone. But frontiers also draw another type of man. One with a demon in his gut. He comes to the edge of the world to face that demon, and lay it to rest.
-Yeah?
-There's a cabin, maybe twenty miles south of here.
-Too bad we're heading west.
-There's a snowmobile. Inside a day we could be on the Yukon. I got money there. Remember that five thousand? Make it ten. Be smart. Take it and walk away.
-Have to get these wet things off.
-Stay awake! You want to go hypothermic?
-Told you I'm fine!
-How many do you see?
-What?! Fuck off. Save yourself.
-You don't feel cold?
-Stay still.
-Where's my ELT?
-Emergency transmitter? All your gear is back at Wilder's.
-You got one?
-It was blown up with the plane.
-I'm hungry. Go kill me some dinner.
-An appetite. Maybe you won't die after all.
-Nome? I figure you'd be a whaler, coming from there.
-Told that's what our old man was. Planned on going to sea, me and Bob, 'til I read Jack London. Started trapping when I was ten. Mailed the furs to Sears. Eight bucks for a skunk, three for a muskrat. That was fine money.
-Killing wildlife not good enough anymore, so you go on to bigger and better things.
-Don't judge me. You're a joke, coming here from a fucked-up culture, telling us what to do!
-Yeah, it is fucked up -- but it's not too late to keep that from happening here.
-What do you know about people? You live like an animal! A savage goddamn throwback like you belongs out here, as far away from the rest of us as possible.
-Don't push me..!
-They think you're in Fairbanks. If not, they still won't find you before the plane comes tomorrow.
-Don't bet on it.
-I already have.
-Maybe...maybe not. I'll tell you what scares me -- stumbling through life, like an ordinary jerk. That's why I want to work on the front lines, where what I do means something. Soon as I got here, I realized my job was bullshit. Oil company propaganda. I was ready to leave, then I thought screw it, I'll outsmart them, do the work anyway. I
-Talk to that good-looking girl of yours?
-You broke the radio, remember?
-You were real resourceful out there. Got me thinking of this perimeter man, froze all his fingers one winter. So he hacked the tips off and sharpened the exposed bones. Gets along better than ever. Yeah, maybe I underestimated you.
-I liked you better frozen. You didn't talk so much.
-Emergency transmitter? What happened to signal mirrors or two-tone smoke fires?
-Lets us watch each other's backs over a wide area. Only thing messed me up this time was getting arrested in the baths. ELT was in my duffel bag, not around my neck where it should've been.
-Maybe you can talk sense into your boyfriend.
-Shut up!
-Answer and I'll shoot!
-Snow's to their advantage, kid. You can't see them, but soon as that plane comes, they'll sure as hell know where we're going. Wise up. Take me to the Yukon. I'll give you that money and guarantee you'll walk away.
-Why offer a buyoff with your gunmen waiting outside?
-Can you walk?
-Wound's a through-and-through. Missed my liver, I think.
-How come you didn't let him shoot me?
-Like I said, I'd still be up on that mountain, frozen solid, it wasn't for you.
-Look down there, tell me what any of this matters. Struggles of men get swallowed by the bigness. Soon there won't be a trace of our troubles... or us.
-Hullo, Sam. Slow day?
-Ben...boys. Yeah, real slow, and I'd like to keep it that way.
-Relax. One more day without drink won't kill you. Right, Sam?
-I'm living proof of that sad fact.
-Can we buy the Marshal some dinner?
-You wouldn't shoot anyone...
-All this for laying traps on private land?
-Christ if I shouldn't know better than to step in soft earth. I've seen footprints in the tundra a hundred years old.
-I got it from here. Thanks.
-Sam, listen -- I shot to defend my man. Other guy drew first.
-If that was all, fine. But carving him up, stranding the others, that's too fucking much. Is everything that walks, crawls, flies or swims fair game to you?
-I'll get loose before that plane comes.
-You better get some sleep.
-Goddammit, I don't need this aggravation. I'll shoot you, Ben. Bank on it.
-I don't want to hurt you, Sam.
-I'm not too old to knock the snot out of you!
-I need to rent a cabin.
-What's the problem with Sam Wilder's place?
-Will you rent me a cabin, or not?
-Pretty clever: If the trappers got that signal beacon and get here in time, Sam's is the first place they'll look. They may figure you're waiting for an airplane, so you can't stay in the shack by the airstrip. Last place they'd expect you is on the far side of town. I can't afford any trouble --
--- Here's a hundred dollars. And if you or anyone else will back me up on this --
--- Forget it. And try not to bleed on my throw rugs. Why do this?
-Mr. Desmond! Arthur Neff. Area rep for the Federal Assistance Plan. Tell the boys in DC to keep those goodies coming.
-Sure.
-You don't mind me saying, Mr. Desmond, you look like hell.
-Have you heard anything from the girl staying with me, Anne Marie?
-Not a damn thing. What's going on? Mr. Meyerling was here, all steamed up, looking for you.
-Look, Neff, I've got Ben Corbett with me --
--- Here?! Where's Wilder?
-If Corbett's men find out --
--- I'm putting him on the plane to Fairbanks, eleven tomorrow.
-Jiminy Christmas. What do you want from me?
-What's wrong?
-I was just on my way to your ladyfriend's, but I guess she found you.
-Yeah. Sorry I barked at you last night.
-Look, Mr. Desmond, I didn't count on it turning this ugly.
-What are you talking about?
-Bastards killed Sam, you think they won't kill the rest of us?
-There'll be three, four men at the most. I have some backup, nothing will happen.
-You don't care enough about Sam to --
-Neff, you know better than this...
-Alleged killer.
-What does this matter to you?
-You can't see past your lousy little assignment, sniffing around the pipeline. The few voters there are in this district look up to Corbett, and I'm not about to alienate them.
-I should release Corbett because you want some votes?
-This miserable wilderness is a state of the union. Policy's made here the same way as in the civilized world: at the ballot box. That's the beauty of it -- these icebox cowboys are living a century too late. Get them on your side, it's like buying Manhattan for beads. With a handful of votes you control the greatest frontier since white men stumbled
-Nobody wants any more killings; we all agree to that, correct? That's good. Now, Eric, you're gonna hand your prisoner over to us.
-Fuck you.
-Bet you're right. But I didn't come by to wangle a meal --
-What'd you say they call these spaceships?
-Hey, Sam, look over there. Black and white smoke.
-Damn. Likely that's an SOS. Have to pass on that lunch.
-I'm too old for this shit.
-...You give us a ride in the Cessna you got hangared at the pumping station, we'll be in Fairbanks in a few hours.
-That's what we should've done in the first place.
-Wilder's missing church services; you believe it?
-Why the smirk?
-Bet I could make some money turning Ben Corbett in. Maybe more for lettin' him loose. I was up in my cache. Saw the Northland man come talk to you.
-You're out of your greedy goddamn mind.
-Corbett coming here stinks of trouble. We should make the best of it before it turns around and bites us in the ass.
-He saw you and Corbett come in...
-Dead. Trappers killed him.
-LeMalle. We got a problem. Where's Mitchell?
-There you go. Wilder's always chummy with the fuckin' Bambi-lovers.
-I called the cops in Fairbanks, see when Ben is standing trial. They don't know shit about Ben or Wilder!
-Get the fuck out of here.
-It's a three-hour flight. They shoulda got there yesterday.
-Go easy.
-I ain't gonna leave a seven- hundred-dollar Remington behind.
-What you gonna do with it? Large bore's for shit on small game.
-Thought that door was open last night...
-Look, we pull Ben's ass out of the fire, I'll get you a whole damn crate of Snickers bars.
-You hear me? Ben?
-Kenai's PA -- but how the fuck she seein' us?
-...Ben never sent a signal.
-Meaning he'll need a plane.
-Closest planes for hire are here in Cache.
-Naah, Wilder knows we got friends in town.
-Okay, let's backtrack, try to pick up his trail. You know the kid out on the pipeline that Wilder's buddies with?
-It's Sam Wilder!
-Musta wanted to keep him from the bears. If Ben killed him, he sure as hell wouldn't hang him up like this.
-There's what they're waiting on!
-This is Sam Wilder, Marshal in Devil's Cauldron. Had some killings here. I got a suspect; be real nice if someone came and took him off my hands.
-On a good day I couldn't spare a crosswalk guard. But now, no way. Folks're batshit with the weather turning sour. Bring him in yourself.
-Next plane's not coming 'til next Monday.
-Sit your suspect out in the cold. He'll keep.
-This man's friends ain't gonna look favorably on his incarceration.
-I didn't know you had a secret admire.
-Huh?
-There is a seriously goofy man behind this. You are not allowed to block out that fact.
-Do you really want to go back to the runt doctors in Emergency who keep telling us they can't help?
-It lets a crazy man into our lives.
-You're not still writing that thank-you note?
-I'm on the last page. How do you spell conscience?
-C-o-n-s-c-i-e-n-c-e. I got Sean from the bakery to baby-sit so let's go out.
-I still don't feel safe leaving Spencer with someone. How do you spell it again?
-Spencer is okay. You'd better start finding something else to do with your free time. If you can't feel good about this break and step out a little... You ought to get Mr. Udall to send you over a psychiatrist.
-I don't know... It's very strange not feeling that stupid panic thing inside you all the time. Without that you just start thinking about yourself -- and what does that ever get anybody. Today, on the bus there was this adorable couple and I felt myself giving them a dirty look -- I had no idea everything was...
-Go ahead.
-... moving in the wrong direction... Away from when I even remembered what it was like to have a man to... anything... hold fucking -- sorry -- hands with, for Christ's sake. I was feeling like really bad that Dr. Bettes is married. Which is probably why I make poor Spencer hug me more than he wants to... Like the poor kid doesn't have
-Spencer's doing fine. So what are you saying, that you're frustr...
-What is it you want? What?
-How was it talking to him?
-Stop treating this like I'm going away with a man. He's just going to say those crappy, sick, complaining, angry things to me. I hate this, Mom -- I hate this. He's a freak show -- the worst person I ever met.
-Call me as soon as you're settled.
-Stop it!! Why can't I have a normal boyfriend??? Why? Get out of here. Just a regular boyfriend who doesn't go nuts on me...
-I'm sorry.
-Don't be silly. How bad?
-Hi... Did you know there are doctors who come to your house?
-He's good... And I'm an expert on doctors.
-Do you love me?
-What? Please? Now? Tell me?!
-Mrs. Connelly. I'm Martin Bettes ... Dr. Bettes.
-Not your name... what are you telling me your name for!! Where is he?
-He's in the bathroom... He's fine.
-My wife is Melvin Udall's publisher. She says I have to take great care of this guy because you're urgently needed back at work. What work do you do?
-How long has he been having problems?
-Since forever.
-Have they done blood tests on him?
-Yes.
-Only in the emergency room or when he was well.
-Emergency room only.
-Have they done skin testing for allergies?
-No.
-They haven't done the standard scratch test. Where they make small injections into the skin?
-No. I asked. They said it's not covered under my plan. And it's not necessary anyway.
-It's amazing these things weren't done.
-Fucking H.M.O. bastard piece of shit... I'm sorry... forgive me.
-No. Actually, I think that's their technical name.
-Once the tests come back, is there someone I can reach in your office for the results?
-Me. My home number is on this card.
-Do you want some juice or coffee or two female slaves?
-Water... Nobody told you it might be a good idea to remove the carpeting and drapes in Spencer's room?
-Doc!!! So listen, you gotta let me know about the additional costs -- one way or the other we'll...
-I'm starving.
-I know. He's just the best.
-I've got Jews at my table.
-The table's fine if it had some cholesterol on it. Two sausages, six bacon strips, fries, three eggs over easy and coffee.
-You're gonna die soon with that diet, you know that?
-Clippity clop -- clippity clop -- she has to pretend she doesn't hear me. Listening to the story from the upset friend... now she drops off the cappuccino and smiles at the putzette who doesn't even say, "Thank you." No, the putzette wanted the whipped cream so back she goes and now she has to pass him again and it's getting tougher to make
-What's with the plastic picnic ware? Why not try ours... afraid it isn't clean?
-I see the help -- judgement call.
-Just give yourself a little pep talk. "Must try other people's clean silverware as part of the fun of dining out."
-What's wrong with your son, anyway?
-He's gotta fight to breathe. His asthma can just shoot off the charts -- he's allergic to dust and this is New York and his immune system bails on him when there's trouble so an ear infection... Is this bothering you?
-No.
-An ear infection can send us to the emergency room -- maybe five, six times a month where I get whatever nine-year-old they just made a doctor. Nice chatting with you.
-His name?
-Spencer.
-Okay.
-So what are you doing with a dog?
-Suckered in. Set up. Pushed around.
-You're not worried that someone might take him?
-Well, not until now -- for Christ's sake.
-Sorry.
-You know he's a little dog. Next time, if Bryan's not here, you can bring him in.
-How old are you?
-Oh, please...
-And if I had to guess by your eyes. I'd say you were kind. So, so much for eyes. But as long as you bring up age... how old are you?
-Otherwise, you're not ugly.
-Okay, pal... I accept the compliment, but go easy -- my knees start a-knocking when you turn on the charm full blast.
-Last week I was playing the piano for him and he likes it, and so I decide I'm going to make a little joke...
-I'm hungry. You've upset my whole day. I haven't eaten.
-This is not a sexist thing. If you were a waiter I would still be here saying...
-Are you totally gone? This is my private home...
-I am trying to keep emotions out of this. Even though this is an important issue to me and I have strong feelings about the subject.
-What subject? That I wasn't there to take crap from you and bring you eggs? Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?
-Yes, I do, as a matter of fact... and to prove it I have not gotten personal and you have. Why aren't you at work? You're not sick -- you don't look sick... just very tired and bitter.
-What about your mother?
-How do you know about my mother?
-Sorry, honey... I'll be right there.
-Yeah, yeah... any chance you'll get back to work today?
-Uh, Udall?
-Carol the waitress?
-The doctors had your billing address. I'm sorry about the hour.
-I was working... can't you just drop me a thank-you note?
-That's not why I'm here... ... though you have no idea what it's like to have a real conversation with a doctor about Spencer...
-Note. Put it in the note.
-Why did yo do this for me?
-To get you back at work so you can wait on me.
-You waiting for me to say something? What sort of thing do you want? Look, I'll be at the restaurant tomorrow.
-I don't think I can wait until tomorrow. This needs clearing up.
-What needs clearing up?
-I'm not kidding.
-Okay!!!! Anything else?!?
-So you'll be at work?
-What's this?
-Getting loud, getting loud.
-He wants me to take his car and his client to Baltimore.
-So. Anything else?
-Yes. I'm going to give my queer neighbor a lift to Baltimore.
-Okay.
-Hey, what I did for you is working out?
-No... no thank you notes.
-Well, part of what I said in this entire history of my life which you won't read is that somehow you've done more for my mother, my son and me, than anyone else ever has... And that makes you the most important, surprising, generous person I've ever met and that you be in our daily prayers forever.
-Lovely.
-Nice of you... thank you.
-Thank you.
-Oh, I'm sorry... Didn't I say, "what?" I thought I said, "what?"... What?
-I want you to go on this trip.
-No, sir...
-I can't do this alone. I'm afraid he'll pull the stiff one eye on me. I need you to chaperon. Separate everything but cars. You said you liked convertibles. Now I'm on the hook.
-The stiff one eye?
-Two days.
-I can't. I work.
-You take off when you have to.
-My son.
-Bettes tells me he's doing fine.
-Melvin, I'd rather not.
-What's that got to do with it?
-Funny, I thought it was a strong point.
-Write me a note and ain't she sweet. I need a hand and where'd she go.
-Are you saying accepting your help obligates me!?
-Is there another way to see it?
-Hello?
-Are you still coming?
-Melvin... I'd like to know exactly where we are going.
-Just south to Baltimore, Maryland. So I know what you're going to ask next. That you might ask -- I'm not certain.
-There's... there's no need to bring anything dressy... or... I mean -- I didn't know if we'd be eating at any restaurant that have dress codes.
-Oh. We might. Yes. We can. Let's.
-Okay, gotcha. What did you think I was going to ask?
-Whether crabs are in season there now...
-Hi.
-Thanks for being on time... Carol, the waitress, this is Simon, the fag.
-I was going to do that for you.
-It's okay. No problem. Where should we sit?
-I -- uh, I... Well, there is no place cards or anything.
-Thanks, Melvin.
-I'm sure, Simon, they did something real off for you to feel this way... But when it comes to your partners -- or your kid -- things will always be off for you unless you set it straight. Maybe this thing happened to you just to give you that chance.
-Nonsense!
-Hey -- you let him...
-... my father didn't leave his room for 11 years -- he hit my hand with a yardstick if I made a mistake on the piano.
-That's not true. Some of us have great stories... pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just not anybody in this car. But lots of people -- that's their story -- good times and noodle salad... and that's what makes it hard. Not that you had it bad but being that pissed that so many had it
-No answer... Maybe we should just drive there tomorrow. Can I have that one?
-My son was outside playing soccer. I never saw him playing ball. Come on, you guys -- take me out for a good time... Take me out dancing.
-Stop asking everyone.
-No... I'm not wearing that -- and just in case you were going to ask I'm not going to let you inject me with plaque either.
-You wanna dance?
-I've been thinking about that since you brought it up before.
-And?
-No. Wait. What? Why? I didn't mean it. You gotta sit down. You can still give me the dirty look... just sit down and give it to me.
-Melvin, pay me a compliment... I need one and quick... You have no idea how much what you said just hurt my feelings.
-That monominute somebody gets that you need them they threaten to go away. Never fails.
-That's not compliment, Melvin... That's just trying to sound smart so I feel stupid... A compliment is something nice about somebody else... Now or never.
-And mean it...
-Two crab dinners and pitcher of cold beer. Baked or fries?
-Fries.
-I am so afraid you're about to say something awful...
-Don't be pessimistic. It's not your style. Okay... Here I goes... Clearly a mistake. I have this -- what? Ailment... And my doctor -- a shrink... who I used to see all the time... he says 50 or 60 percent of the time a pill can really help. I hate pills. Very dangerous things, pills. "Hate," I am using the word "hate" about pills.
-That's maybe the best compliment of my life.
-So how are you doing with those pills? Well, I hopahopahopa.
-Have you ever let a romantic moment make you do something you know is stupid?
-Never.
-You don't owe me that.
-Well, ah... that's a personal question.
-If you ask me... I'll say, "yes."
-There are lots of reason... I had a thought that if you had sex with Simon it might...
-Sex with Simon?
-It's one idea...
-That's why you brought me? Look at me! Is that really why you brought me... Like I'm a what and I owe you what?!
-I don't know why I brought you -- that idea occurred to me is all... It came out first... Hey, you kiss him -- me... He says he loves you. You two hit it off. But you don't want to... fine... Forget what I said about sex with Simon. It was a mistake.
-I'll never forget you said it.
-Sorry, didn't realize she was right there. Did you have sex with her?
-Nothing like no choice to make you feel at home.
-Let me see... Ahh, gorgeous!
-I don't want to hear that music right now.
-What do you mean? You said you liked it.
-I don't.
-This one has a special meaning.
-Here are the keys to my apartment. I'm going to park you in my place while I take Carol home.
-I'll take a bus.
-I'll take you... why not?
-Hello.
-Yeah... Well...
-How you doing?
-I can trust my brain.
-That seems like a good choice.
-I don't know whether I'm being sensible or hard on you.
-The two might go together.
-See. There's an example. I don't know whether you're being cute or crazy now.
-Cute.
-Okay to say something now?
-Go ahead.
-I should've danced with you.
-Okay. Good-bye.
-What do you want, Melvin?
-Were you asleep?
-What do you want?
-'Cause if you were asleep -- I'm sorry. And you could be grouchy.
-Grouchy?
-... 'Cause of being woken up, and it would make my job impossible. So then I wouldn't even try.
-What job?
-Were you asleep?
-I wasn't asleep!!
-What a break...
-Is it a secret what you're doing here?
-I had to see you...
-Because...
-Boyfriend?
-Oh, come on in and try not to ruin everything by being you.
-It feels a little confined here. Let's take a walk.
-See. It's four in the morning. A walk sounds a little screwy to me, if you don't mind.
-If you need an excuse, there's a bakery on the corner. There's a shot it'll open soon -- that way we're not screwy -- we're just two people who like warm rolls.
-I'm feeling... I've been feeling better.
-Hey, I've got a great compliment for you.
-You know what? I...
-No! It's certainly not. No -- I don't think so. No.
-I don't know the last time I've been out of the city... Hey, my arms are tanning. I used to tan great. We gotta stop soon so'se I can check on Spencer.
-Do you want to know what happened with my parents?
-Yes. I really would.
-Well...
-I don't blame you... This is a monumental first day out... You sad or anything?
-No... Nervous. It would be very rough, Carol, if you weren't along.
-Was this supposed to be your room?
-Can you not be violent?
-I don't think so. You need help with the pants?
-No!!!
-I'm going to take a big bath and order a big meal.
-Uh-huh...
-I'm sorry... are you okay?
-Well, considering everything's horrible and tomorrow I have to face my parents... Don't ask me ... I'm sick of my own complaints ... got to get me a new set of thoughts.
-Why? What have you been thinking about?
-How to die, mostly.
-Good night.
-I've got to sketch you.
-No... Absolutely not. I'm shyer than you think. I give the wrong impression sometimes and...
-I haven't even been thinking about sketching for weeks.
-Stop staring. Do a vase.
-But you're beautiful... your skin glows.
-Thanks. But I just want to take a bath and...
-That long neck -- the line of you... you're porcelain... your back goes on forever. You're classic... you're why cavemen chiseled on walls...
-We held each other. It was better than sex. What I need he gave me great.
-But what about...
-One night with me!
-I love you... Let him take you home.
-What the heck are those for?
-No. No. Get Carol.
-I'm filling in. We don't know if she's coming back. She might have to get a job closer to home.
-What are you trying to do to me?
-What the heck do you mean?
-Help!
-If you want to see me you will not do this. You will make an appointment...
-Explain to me how you can diagnose someone as "obsessive compulsive disorder" and then act like I have any choice in barging in.
-You said you could help me -- what was that -- a tease?
-I can help you if you take the responsibility to keep regular app --
-You changed the room around...
-I also regrew my beard... but you're not interested in changes in me... so it's like I always told you... when it comes to people you...
-Shhhhhhh. I don't have this mountain of available time... I got to get to my restaurant on time. Do you know how hard it is for me to be here?
-He's genuinely upsetting, isn't he?
-Hey, hey... Haaa... bad but temporary. The nurses say it's much better than you looked three weeks ago... the hand will come back... they're sure...
-So, what's new anyway? How's Verdell?
-Your neighbor -- Udall -- is taking care of him.
-How could you do that? He'll hurt him.
-No, I promise... not a chance. I own this guy. There was no one else. I'm on the move too much. Trust me.
-You are very certain my dog is okay... because you have no idea...
-I'm sorry that I'm not taking you.
-Simon, you've got to get dressed.
-Definitely a package you don't want to open or touch.
-No touch. No touch. No touch.
-You may think you can intimidate the whole world with your attitude, but I grew up in Hell. My grandmother had more attitude. You don't intimidate me.
-Police! Police! Fucking crooked police... doughnut-munching morons help me! Assault and battery and you're black.
-You're taking him... yes... you're taking him -- this will clear the books. One night. You want to say "no" to me? Try... because I've never felt as nuts as I do right this second. I almost want you to try saying "no."
-I'm not saying nothing to you.
-Hey, where are you going? You can't do this. I can't take a dog. Nobody's ever been in here before.
-How's Verdell doing?
-Simon's home. I was sort of hoping you could keep the dog until he's had a chance to think and adjust...
-It's been five weeks... another few won't kill me.
-No. He wants him back. He'll be by tomorrow.
-It's not my dog and this Simon seems to have enough on his mind -- but he did throw up twice and his spark is off.
-Sure -- take him to the vet.
-I did. And his stomach is out of whack. So they need him for a couple of days.
-She's nice.
-Really nice. Shouldn't that be a good thing... telling someone, 'no thanks required.'
-What?
-"What?" Look at you... You sense a mark.
-Hey -- you called me... I...
-About a dog.
-Yeah, but it's all about Simon now... you helped with the dog... And now there are other things. I'm just as concerned as you are about Simon.
-Concerned. I'm just the hall monitor here.
-It's not only financial assistance. What he's got to do is go to Baltimore tomorrow and ask his parents for money. It's not going to happen on the phone.
-Yeah. If his parents are alive they've got to help -- those are the rules. Good.
-Yes. And tomorrow? I have a high maintenance selling painter coming through... So I'm out. Can you take him?
-Take my car -- a convertible. Do you drive?
-Okay... so I'll see you tomorrow. Let's not drag this out. We don't enjoy another that much.
-If there's some mental health foundation that raises money to help people like you be sure to let me know.
-Good evening.
-Yes, we do... And I can give you a tie and jacket.
-What?
-Actually, I don't think so.
-Shall I get her for you?
-How you doing, great one?
-No. Please, don't force him.
-Sorry. What are those cards?
-Frank's idea. He thought I should have notes so I did this right... maintained focus, didn't get emotional and tried not to terrify you.
-Terrify me?
-The medical bill are 61 thousand now. I've spoken to your parents and they didn't hang up or anything -- they just said they would feel strange calling you.
-Frank loves you. You know that... but I've spoken to him and he feels that -- -- as a businessman, with limited resources...
-Is he dead yet?
-No! Would there be any way for you to be willing to walk his dog for him?
-Absolutely.
-Not just today -- Uh, could you do it -- until, until he gets back on his feet?
-Sure thing.
-You're a wonderful man. Two o'clock is a good time. Here's the key in case he's asleep. Open the curtains for him, so he sees God's beautiful work and knows that even things like this happen for the best.
-Okay. So you call 911 and don't leave your name -- even a dumb geezer should know that emergency automatically pulls up your name. How come you make a mistake like that?
-How come you're pretending to do cop work -- 'cause I don't think you could find your ass if you were spotted the hole.
-What?
-Just move on. No one here killed him.
-Oh, is he dead?
-Ask him.
-Mr. Udall... excuse me. Hey there! Have you seen Verdell?
-My dog... you know... I mean my little dog with the adorable face... Don't you know what my dog looks like?
-Which color was that?
-Frank Sachs -- Melvin Udall.
-How're you doing?
-Mr. Udall, I'd like to talk to you please.
-Yeeeess!!!
-I found Verdell, Mr. Udall.
-Did you... do something to him?
-Do you realize that I work at him?
-No, I didn't.
-Do you like to be interrupt when you are danging around in your little garden?
-No... actually, I even shut the phone off and put a little piece of cardboard in the ringer so no one can just buzz me from d...
-Well, I work all the time. So never, never again interrupt me. Okay? I mean, never. Not 30 years from now... not if there's fire. Not even if you hear a thud from inside my home and a week later there's a smell from in there that can only come from a decaying body and you have to hold a hanky against your face
-Yes. It's not a subtle point you're making.
-That's some face they left hanging on you. You look like...
-Thank you. Verdell... sweetheart? By the way, thanks for saving me.
-I called. I never touched you. I didn't leave my name or nothing.
-Maybe I'll bring him some food by.
-If you'll excuse me I'm not feeling so well.
-It smells like shit in here?
-Go away.
-That cleaning woman doesn't...
-Please, just leave.
-Where are all your queer party friends?
-Nothing worse than having to feel this way in front of you?
-Nellie, you're a disgrace to depression.
-Rot in hell, Melvin.
-Well, I'll do one thing for you that might cheer you up.
-Get out.
-I carry bacon in my pocket.
-Oh, my gosh.
-Now we'll both call him.
-Come on, sweetheart...
-Would you leave now, please?
-I brought you Chinese soup.
-Thanks.
-I have never been so tired in my life. Okay, if I sit here?
-I haven't been sleeping. I haven't been clear or felt like myself. I'm in trouble. Some son of a bitch is burning my bridges behind my back... But the tiredness -- boy... Not just sleepy.
-But sick -- nauseous -- where everything looks distorted and everything inside just aches -- when you can barely get up the will to complain.
-I, uh... I was... attacked. Walked in on people robbing me. I was hospitalized. I almost died.
-That's very thoughtful.
-Well, I always painted. Always. And my mother always encouraged it. She was sort of fabulous about it actually... and she used to... I was too young to think there was anything at all wrong with it... and she was very natural. She used to pose nude for me... and I thought or assumed my father was aware of it.
-Not it at all, really.
-Do you ever get an erection for a woman?
-Melvin...
-Wouldn't your lie be a lot easier if you were not...
-You consider your life easy.
-I get why you're angry. It's no snap to explain why I was like that, but let's not try to do it on the run...
-... Now he's going to want to stay. And they'll want to take a ride to the lake or whatever. So it's a good five hours back. It gives us a chance to take it easy and...
-What are you talking about? You got real problems.
-Good-bye. Well, your luck is holding. They sublet your place. You're homeless. Frank's got a line on another place you can use for now.
-Another place where?
-I told you to go on in.
-I think you gotta camp it here...
-Thank you, Melvin. You overwhelm me.
-They did a nice job... Cozy, huh?
-Sorry, didn't know you were awake. I just thought Verdell shouldn't get too used to sleeping in here 'cause then...
-You going to come talk to me or not?
-What did she say?
-I'm a great guy -- "extraordinary"... ... and she doesn't want contact with me. I'm dying here.
-Because... ... you love her?
-No... and you're supposed to be sensitive and sharp.
-Okay... you tell me why -- "You're dying here."
-I don't know... Let me sleep on it and figure it out. Because I'm stuck! Can't go back to what I had... She's evicted me from my life.
-Did you like it that much?
-It was better than this... Look, you, I'm very intelligent. If you're going to give me advice or conversation or consolation or hope, you got to be better than you're doing. If you can't be at least momentarily interesting than shut the hell up. I'm drowning and you're describing water.
-Picking on me won't help.
-Well, if that's true then I'm really in trouble.
-But you know where you're lucky?
-Absolutely not.
-You know who you want. I'll take your seat any day. So do something... don't sleep on it... go over there. I don't think anybody should ever sleep on anything -- it's not always good to let things calm down.
-Hey... I'm charged here. But she might kill me for showing up this late.
-Then get in your jammies and I'll read you a story... I think you've got a chance. The only real enemy you have is her ability to think logically -- the best thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself if it gives you one chance in whatever -- so go catch her off- guard.
-What's wrong?
-I can't resist. You usually move through here so quickly and I have so many questions I want to ask you. You have no idea what your work means to me.
-What's it mean?
-That somebody out there knows what it's like to be... in here.
-Oh God, this is like a nightmare.
-How do you write women so well?
-Exactly what is your previous experience?
-Nothing. I just watch till something strikes me. Do anything you think of -- try different thing. Until I say, "hold that pose." Then just try and comfortably hold it.
-The fact that you haven't said, "hold it" means I haven't done it right... is that correct? I haven't done it right?
-So you're practically finished, huh?
-Wait -- I want to see the painting.
-Just a second -- he has to go.
-Why are you doing this?
-Is there a problem?
-No. No problem. The airport, right?
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm a waiter.
-Where?
-What?
-What restaurant?
-Uh, Fontella's
-So you're from around here?
-Where you from?
-What is this?
-Not too good at small talk, eh?
-Look, I'm real tired and I'm not interested in fucking chit-chat.
-Why? What happened?
-Didn't you here all them sirens? It's been all over the radio. Some guy shot Leevio Valli, and a bunch of bystanders, in the Trattoria Roma.
-No shit.
-Yeah, it's terrible. I mean Valli, and I don't care what office he's running for, the guy's a crook. He probably had it coming, but all the other people. Real sad.
-Yeah.
-But they caught the guy. I heard it all. Sounded like he just went berserk, fucking loco. Shooting anybody. Drugs, probably.
-Probably.
-What are you doing?
-What?
-That was Peterson back there. That goes to the expressway for the airport.
-You're right. Talking too much again.
-Yeah well, you just blew your tip, pal.
-What? You think I'm running you up?
-What are you doing?
-Get out. You think I'm running you up? Get out.
-You can't --
-Sit back. Put your seatbelt on.
-No fucking way.
-Boy, that's fucking genius. You're a fucking genius. Then you're just sitting there, bullshitting with me. Man, no way I coulda done that!
-What's your name? We both know it's not Nicholai.
-Bain. Michael Bain.
-How long have you been freelance?
-Hey. What I don't get was why didn't you take the shot inside the restaurant? I mean you had me, a free shot. That's what I would have done.
-It's just a shoot-out then. Sixty- forty, at best. Not my odds.
-You don't have to tell me that. It's just, I know my bid was low, but was it too low? I mean, did I seem like an amateur, like I didn't know what I was doing?
-Oh! I got a question. Jesus, this has been driving me crazy for years -- shit, listen to me. I sound like some fucking fanboy. I'm sorry, but I just got to ask you. Everybody talks about how you left the Agency and got into the business and then how you went after the Russian, Nicholai Talinkov --
-Tachlinkov.
-Robert Bain, driving me! Jesus fucking Christ!
-After those cops, you'll never be able to come back to Cleveland.
-So what happens now?
-We go around once.
-Okay.
-What are you doing?
-No, no. Wait. You don't want me to jump. You're going to jump. I'm stuck back here until it's too late. Wham -- over!
-How'd you know? Just tell me that. How'd you fucking know?
-I knew the same way in ten years you're going to know.
-What does that fucking mean?
-Listen to me, Bain. Two days ago, you contacted your contractor, who told you that they knew when and where I was going to pick up the transferred money from MicroCell. You don't know how they got the information. It bothered you, but you didn't care. How do I know this? Because ten years ago, I was sitting in that chair, as scared shitless
-I ain't scared of you.
-Yeah you are and you hate it. You hate the fact that your hand is shaking and mine isn't. That you're sweating your balls off and I'm not. You've got fear and hate in your belly like battery acid, all because of me.
-If you think you can take me, quit fucking bullshitting and try it.
-Five million dollars?
-That's right.
-Did you see how I did that? Magic wasn't it?
-What?
-You understand what's going on? It makes sense, right?
-Oh, yeah.
-You think I would be an idiot to pass up five million dollars.
-You would be.
-You don't know a fucking thing about me. You don't have the slightest fucking clue.
-Why don't you tell me.
-I'll tell you this. After Cleveland, I thought I was lucky to be alive. But now, here, I just realized that you were the lucky one.
-Game over, bitch!
-I'm on the scent.
-Michael?
-No. No. No. I don't believe it.
-They money will be standard bank transfer. We believe we will know where and when.
-Such language in front of a lady.
-How in the fuck do you know that?
-Hi. Up ahead my boss is in that black limo. We're not sure which hotel we're at, so could you just follow them?
-Good afternoon. We have reservations at the Hotel Paraiso in Costa Blanca.
-No, no. I said the Hotel Paraiso.
-Yes. This is the Hotel Paraiso.
-No, the other Hotel Paraiso, in the city. Near the Plaza del Sol.
-I'm sorry, sir. A year ago there was a fire in the old Hotel Paraiso. This is the new Hotel Paraiso.
-Where have you been, Robert?
-Sick. The flu.
-Send the file. I'll have the estimate tonight.
-What?
-Who?
-How did he know?
-Know what?
-I don't know what the fuck you are.
-Deadline?
-Who is the mark?
-Hello, Robert.
-The contract?
-I have been sitting on a contract from Cleveland for six days because of you.
-I know what happened.
-I bet you fucking know!
-I give a fuck? I'm done! I quit! Do you fucking hear me! I'm fucking gone!
-Is this how it went, Nick?
-You think this is a fucking joke?
-A player?
-What?
-He has to clean up. How many bodies were there?
-Um, five.
-Get on the expressway.
-Nikita? She helped me find you.
-What? How did you know I had a cat?
-Took a guess. Lucky for you, I guessed right.
-Who the fuck are you? Who do you work for?
-I work for the government.
-Bullshit.
-Yeah.
-You're one of them, aren't you? A fucking pro.
-Twenty large? That's all?
-What do you mean, 'that's all'? What in the hell do you know?
-I figure that means these are worth ten times that, maybe more.
-Ten million --
-Now what?
-You want me to pump?
-Okay. How did you find me?
-You're the computer hacker, you tell me.
-Nikita?
-You're one of them, aren't you?
-'Them'?
-An assassin?
-Until a minute ago.
-What does that mean?
-Who is that other guy?
-Another contractor.
-Someone hired both of you?
-No. They hired Bain. The contract would have been mine, but Bain took it from me as he took the previous one.
-So this is something between you and him?
-He stole the contract knowing that I would come after him.
-Why?
-Because he is trying to retire me.
-He wants to kill you?
-Yes.
-Why?
-The nature of the business. You remove your competition.
-And you want to use me to get him?
-Yes.
-Forget it!
-Don't tell me I don't have a choice!
-Right.
-I'm two seconds away from making my choice which means you've got two seconds to tell me why I shouldn't shoot you.
-It's simple. You need me. I need you. And we will both need money.
-I don't need you to get the money -- my money!
-I don't need the money.
-This is something that is never going to end. You can never work in the business again with this contract, because he will find you. To survive, you have to go into deep hiding. And that's going to take money, a lot of money.
-Then you can have the disks and I'll just walk out that door --
-If you walk out that door, Bain will still come after you.
-Why?
-Because he took a contract on you. He'll come for you and he'll find you.
-You don't know that -- you're trying to scare me.
-No. It's the truth. I know what you are. Like me, like Bain, you're a ghost, you're not part of the real world. You don't have a social security number. You don't pay taxes. You've probably used ten different names over the last ten years. A long time ago something probably happened, something illegal and you ran, you disappeared and it was easy. You
-How?
-Oh Jesus Jesus...
-Listen -- I don't even know your name.
-Rath. Robert Rath.
-Electra.
-Just Electra?
-Yeah.
-As in daughter of Agamemnon?
-What I'm trying to say is that -- I'm not sure I can do this, help you, unless I know more about you.
-What do you want to know?
-No.
-Why?
-Because I'm done.
-With computers.
-It's not the same, is it?
-Had?
-It looks like white's game.
-We played with a code using <u>The New</u> <u>York Times</u> obituaries. Over three years we played twelve matches. I never won.
-He was... taken.
-I killed him.
-Why?
-Because that's how it works. That's what it's about. He was the best. He was on top.
-Where you wanted to be?
-Yes. As soon as you get into this business, all you can think about is getting to the top. That's all there is. Until then, there is nothing. You are nothing.
-How did you get into the business?
-The same way everyone does; the government, the Agency.
-The C.I.A.?
-More or less.
-How old were you?
-They recruited me when I was in high school.
-Jesus -- why?
-Languages. I was already fluent in nine languages.
-You were like a boy genius?
-Some people said that. I never thought so.
-Why not?
-I was just different.
-You went from high school to the Agency?
-No. I graduated from George Washington University. Then I entered the Agency training program.
-They didn't give you a choice, did they?
-No, they didn't.
-But you knew what they were training you for?
-Of course. I was going to be James Bond.
-Ahhhh...
-They are very good at what they do. It's very seductive. The training, the weapons, the travel --
-The exotic women.
-Women? No... not really.
-Why not?
-Women... I don't... I don't want to talk about women.
-Why?
-Because you are a women.
-Why did you leave the Agency?
-The same reason everyone does. You hear your name on C-SPAN and you realize you're a skeleton in someone's closet and they're coming to bury you.
-They tried to kill you?
-Yes. It didn't matter much to them as long as I disappeared.
-Then you went freelance?
-The only thing different about the private sector is that a General Contractor takes less of a percentage than the government, so you make more money. Then once you make the transition, you realize you were never working for the government; it was always the private sector, the vested interests and it's the same vested interests that continue to buy your plane tickets.
-Tell me about the first time.
-My first take?
-Yes.
-Why?
-Because I want to know.
-It was... mechanical. Very precise. It was exactly like the training drill except for the adrenaline.
-Are they usually like that?
-No. Just the first one.
-After that?
-They become complicated... messy.
-Did it ever bother you?
-Did it ever bother James Bond?
-That's fiction.
-This is fiction! Don't you see that? This is another reality. And the people that come into the world to play this game -- nobody forces them! They're here, they know the rules, the stakes, the risks! Do you understand what I am saying? No one is innocent -- including you!
-Is that what you wanted to hear? Something cold blooded... something remorseless...
-It. Tell it. For all I know it could be a machine.
-You said you didn't trust it.
-Do you have a passport?
-Several.
-Good.
-Where is it?
-Hey, where are you?
-Thinking.
-About?
-I've never been to the Gulf of Mexico. Is it as nice as they say?
-I don't know.
-That's where he'll be.
-What?
-No.
-Why not?
-It helps me to focus. It centers me, helps me think.
-Oh. What do you think about?
-Do you think about the game?
-Yes.
-But you've never figured out a way to win.
-No.
-Not even a stalemate?
-No.
-What will you do if this works, if we get the money?
-I don't know... maybe I'll live on a boat, sail to all the places I've never been.
-I'm kind of tired. I think I'd like to try and get some sleep.
-Do you think he's here?
-Here?
-In Costa Blanca.
-What do you think he's doing?
-Breakfast.
-I know what you are thinking. I'm not going to disappear, okay? I'm not going anywhere, just down there, to that beautiful beach. I got to get out of this room, just for a little while.
-Okay.
-Really?
-He won't be looking for you. Just be careful. Buy a book. Keep your sunglasses on.
-You should knock.
-Sorry.
-How was the beach?
-Where did you learn it?
-Taiwan.
-Not that I would know, but you look like you're really good at it.
-Thank you.
-I've always wanted to learn something like that.
-Two way?
-Transmits and receives.
-I paid a lot for these.
-They saw you coming a mile away. If I had known we'd be using --
-It's too late now. Okay? We'll have to deal with these.
-This is the bank. This is the hotel. In the morning I will enter the bank.
-Check.
-He will be hidden somewhere out here, probably somewhere low, in the crowd. He'll stay there until he sees me enter the bank.
-But he won't shoot you right then?
-You'll be here. A restaurant. A public place far enough away that he won't notice you, but with a good enough view you'll be able to see him when he moves inside.
-Okay. Then what?
-Then, we wait.
-Aiiee. More waiting? I don't know if I like this plan.
-The sun will be low, almost dark, the air cool and the bank will almost be closed. 5:45. 5:50. He will put the rifle down, he will get up and he will walk across the plaza to the bank.
-Why won't he wait until the bank closes?
-He won't be able to. He'll have to go inside. He'll have to see with his own eyes, whether or not I am there. If the bank closes, he won't know for sure. He'll come. I'm sure. And when he does you'll go into the hotel, go upstairs and take the gun.
-He can't. The bank has an expensive security system; metal detectors and X-ray machines.
-That means you won't have a gun.
-That's right.
-And with the mikes, I'll tell you when he leaves the hotel and you'll tell me when he leaves the bank.
-If things go well, I don't have to. You'll already be in a rented car waiting for me.
-You'll have the money. How do I know that you won't --
-I'll be walking out of the bank, unarmed. You'll have the gun and I'll drive the car.
-We split the money?
-Five million apiece. You get on your plane, I get on mine.
-Sounds pretty well figured out.
-I've been thinking about it for a long time.
-Except --
-What?
-Except, if he doesn't come out of the hotel.
-I told you, he will.
-You can't know for sure, how can you? I mean, you're not him.
-Ten years ago, I sat there in that same hotel window, sweat pouring off of me waiting --
-For Nicholai?
-Yes.
-What is it? I don't like this at all. What is going on here?
-I don't know. It just happened. I was here ten years ago, I'm here now. That's it.
-I don't believe that.
-It wasn't planned or premeditated. I swear. Things happened beyond my control. I understood; I saw where they were leading and I suppose that it just made sense.
-Ten years ago.
-Yes.
-What happened?
-I waited until I was insane and then I walked into the bank. He was sitting there, very calm, waiting for me.
-What did he want?
-He wanted what I want now; to get out of the business. To disappear to some empty Greek island.
-What did he say?
-He said I couldn't win. That no one wins at this game.
-Was that it?
-Then he offered me one million dollars to walk away, to quit the business.
-You didn't take it.
-No. I went back to the hotel. And waited.
-Ten years later, here you are again.
-Do you have ulcers?
-No.
-I think I got one today.
-Why did you trade a bishop for a knight?
-I hate bishops. They're useless. I like knights.
-They're worth less points.
-Did you think they were newlyweds?
-I didn't notice them.
-When I first saw them I thought they were married.
-How do you know they're not?
-I went into their room this afternoon.
-What?
-It was no big deal. I saw them leave, I went in.
-Jesus, if someone had --
-Nobody ever sees me.
-Why in the hell would you take that chance?
-She is married, but not to him. Another man, much older. She has four kids. The young guy works for her. And I think she likes kinky sex.
-Thank you.
-Isn't it interesting though? I mean, look at us, in this room. Or yesterday, when we were walking in the plaza market. I mean, we look like just another couple. But what are we? Doesn't it seem so crazy?
-No.
-No?
-It's always been that way. The world has always functioned on two levels.
-I know. It makes me crazy.
-Why?
-I don't know. When I was in college, I was forced to go to a psychiatrist because I was caught drilling holes in my dorm room floor.
-And you were drilling these holes...?
-So I could watch the girl that lived under me.
-Apparently this doctor was unable to cure you.
-He told me that my curiosity became unnaturally entangled with my sense of self-preservation.
-Did he explain how this happened?
-What are you doing?
-What?
-That's a ridiculous move.
-Why?
-Because, I'll take it.
-Can I ask you something?
-I'm sure you will.
-Yes.
-Are you attracted to me?
-Yes.
-Why?
-Why? I don't know.
-Is it a physical thing, or a mental thing?
-Is that why you didn't want to talk about women before?
-I didn't want to complicate the situation.
-Attraction is a complication?
-It can be.
-It happened to you before?
-Yes.
-Who was she?
-Someone like me, like you. A pro.
-What happened to her?
-She was taken.
-Did you --
-No. I tried to stop it. I couldn't.
-Was she the only one?
-After her, I realized that to survive I had to live without... It's dangerous to let things become complicated.
-Is this becoming complicated?
-Were you attracted to me right away?
-No.
-When did it start?
-Honestly?
-Uh-huh.
-When I gave you my gun and you almost shot me.
-Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.
-Why?
-That doesn't sound normal.
-I'm not normal.
-Martin.
-Four minutes.
-What?
-I waited another four minutes.
-Shit.
-Wait until he is on the stairs.
-Right.
-I'm taking off my mike.
-Okay.
-Electra --
-What?
-Was nice.
-He's coming, Electra! Get out now!
-I wasn't watching television.
-The point is, they are paying for information. Real information. Not tooth paste brands. Not whether he wads of folds his toilet paper. And no 16 hours of recorded phone sex. You are wasting everyone's time with this shit.
-I thought it was interesting --
-God damnit, Electra. This is not a game. This is business.
-Right. In my hands I have five back-up disks he made of all of his work last night.
-Jesus! Why didn't you tell me?
-I'll make my usual arrangements and expect my usual bonus.
-Electra --
-Hi. Did you call --
-I prefer it like this.
-Would you like a drink?
-Why are you working today?
-You're very good at this aren't you?
-That's okay, hon, I always expect the unexpected.
-For what?
-Do you ever regret things you've done?
-Everyone regrets something.
-But when you finLsh a job, afterwards do you think about them?
-Sometimes.
-Do you think about their wives or their families?
-Do you ever think about starting over?
-All the time.
-Then, I'll sail alone.
-Do you believe that?
-Is that all you want?
-Thank you.
-How much farther?
-Hey, do you mind if I talk a little? I feel like, I don't know, talking I guess.
-Sure.
-Funny, I've never been a talker. My wife was always getting on me about that. 'Say what you feel, tell me what's bothering you, you ve got to talk to me.' I never would though. Not really.
-Why not?
-I think I've heard of you.
-It's possible.
-You're pretty famous aren't you?
-I hope not.
-I know this may seem like a strange question, but can I ask you how much the contract was for -- not to insult you or anything, I know you're a professional, but just for me, I was just wondering.
-It's a common question.
-Oh yeah? I guess we still need to see that price tag. Like art, right? You hang some painting that looks like baby-puke in your living room only if it costs a bundle.
-A dime.
-One hundred thousand? That's it? Jesus... Is that a lot?
-Average.
-I have been thinking about this for a long while. I knew this day was coming. I knew someday someone would make the call on me. I never thought about anyone that I had whacked. What do you call it anyway?
-Taken.
-'Taken.' That's nice. When I had someone taken I would call our General Contractor, transfer the money and as soon as I hung up the phone I forgot about them.
-Everyone who plays the game knows the rules.
-Don't know. That's how it works.
-That's what our General Contractor told us but how can you trust someone like that?
-Right.
-I thought that I would be thinking about Margaret, or work, or that I'd be having these deep, profound and depressing thoughts but I'm not. I'm trying to think really profound thoughts, but I can't. It seems very funny to me.
-What are you thinking about?
-I'm thinking about Moonpies. Ain't that funny? I haven't had a Moonpie since I was ten years old. Right now, I'm thinking how much I'd love one.
-Can I ask you something?
-Go ahead.
-Everyone handles it differently. Some are ready, some are not.
-Do they get down on their knees, begging and crying?
-Some.
-When I thought about this, that was always there, in the back of my head, that image of me on my knees, crying. It wouldn't go away and it would really upset me. It was something that I could never get away from... but now, I feel it's okay. I feel good.
-Can I ask you a question?
-Anything.
-Why didn't you fade?
-You mean quit?
-Yeah.
-I used to think about it. I had Margaret. She wanted kids. I thought about moving somewhere far away like, Europe. I could see all of that, the first part, the getting away but I couldn't see that next part. 'Then what?' So I'd stop thinking about it and go back to work. You understand?
-Look at that. I haven't watched the sun set in a million years. Do you mind?
-You wish to close this account today?
-That's correct.
-How would you like the funds?
-American currency.
-This will take some time.
-Excellent, senor. If you could follow me?
-I'm sorry, but I am waiting for an associate. Can you hold everything for me until he arrives?
-Of course, senor.
-That's true Doug, writers are supposed to write.
-What are you having?
-A coke, if they have it?
-Cheers Katka!
-Naz dravi!.....What do you like about this place, these people, Chris?
-I don't know. It's kind of underground. Doug's right, there's too much crap in this town.
-I used to think he was right about a lot of things but now I don't know. I thought he was going somewhere but now I think I am wasting my time.
-So how's your work?
-It's okay, they're training me on the cash register and after I hope to work on one of the jewellery counters.
-Sounds cool.....Do you think he's serious about squatting a place?
-I don't know, I don't care. I see too much of him and he's changed. He used to be busy at the magazine. But now he's been doing nothing for months, like he doesn't care about anything, including me.
-Well, he sure seems fired up all of a sudden.
-It won't last, believe me. And you, when will you go back to the States?
-Your a good guy Chris you deserve a nice girl.
-Like you?
-He_s the closest we've got to an intellectual.
-Fresh from the shrink I'd say!
-What is it with that Josh guy? Who does he think he is shoving that Reflections rag down our throats?
-Son of the American ambassador and a banker - good enough?
-How to make a buck!
-Yeah right!....I don't know, something isn't right with this place, it's all too sterile and staged. Do you ever wonder why there's no Czechs here?
-Because it's in English?
-Yeah, but it's not just that. To the Czech mind, any movement, whether political or literary should be underground. If it isn't, then it's not radical and not worthy of a look-in.
-But we are underground?
-Inspirations a fickle thing, you don't realise you had it till it's gone.
-You guys having a go a me or what?
-We're only joking.....It is your round though!
-Sorry Katka, but I'm with Doug on this.
-What about that squat bar you showed me, is that open on a Sunday?
-Anything in it?
-No, just crap. I want some picture frames.
-I don't have the money for those Bourgeois traps. Hell, I'm making what a Czech earns.
-It all comes down to ideology and they've lost theirs. If I'd been here ten years ago, maybe they wouldn't be in the mess they are today.
-What's that? Free!
-Just because they've got a choice of four McDonalds, doesn't mean they can afford a cheeseburger.
-Who's your friend?
-Hmm..Smells good. Cheers!
-What did the beer cost?
-Fifteen crowns.
-This place is getting expensive too, used to be twelve.
-Oh yeah, what's that?
-An alternative literary venue!
-I ain't sure poetry will go down too well here.
-No, it's the whole idea behind it. How did they get this place?
-Squatted it.
-Right and not just the bar, Lubosh and his mates took the whole freakin' building.
-What we need is a space for real performance art. A cultural exchange for radical expressionism.
-He's not drunk, he's crazy.
-Maybe, but someone's got to make a stand.
-Like Custer huh?
-Good news comrades, it's better than we'd hoped. Lubosh filled me in on the legal side of squatting here and it's a piece of cake.
-Care to elaborate?
-Well, providing we're treated like Czechs and we squat something that's not privately owned, we should be in the clear; at least DOUG until they get an eviction order and bring in the bailiffs.
-Amazing, he didn't even say "if".
-Okay, we're listening. But I'm with Katka on this one.
-Well, it's like I said, there's a ton of empty buildings around here and most of them were apparently given back to the city, so they're not private.... Now, Jahn here is an drama student at the University. He knows of a building that they were going to turn into a puppet theatre - they even began work on it, until they ran out
-Puppet theatre, don't you need something a little bigger?
-Okay, it's in here somewhere. Let's keep it quiet.
-You were right Jahn, it's a great space..... Hey, Chris. Do you want to come and look?
-Chris, what if I were to cut you in as partner in this project - together we could make it swing, all it needs is a good clean out and the power on, then we're in business.
-I don't know man, I'll drink beer and shoot crap with you anytime, but this is different.
-Damn right it is, it's a chance to do something meaningful for a change, to leave our mark on this town. Hell, you'll probably be gone in another six months and all you'll have done is taught some kids the lines to a Led Zep' song - c'mon, don't run out on me now!
-Alright I give in. But let's not end up in jail. Okay?
-No, I got nothing till Tuesday.
-That stinks!
-No, but like my dad said, "There's only so many ways you can wire a plug".
-He was an electrician?
-No, he was talking about girls, I think.
-That makes you an expert I guess.
-I feel like a mole in this joint, so I guess I might as well come out lookin' like one!
-Just two things. What do I use to shift the stuff and where in hell am I gonna put it all?
-Scout around and see if there's something, check that other corridor. If there's nothing, nip out and buy a broom and shovel.
-And put it on expenses?
-Somehow, I'm going to have to band-aid that thing since we can't really replace it and then put a walkway over it.
-So?
-Well, we might as well start filling it in now. As long as you leave enough room around that end of the pipe - so I can get to it, we're set. Use them wooden boards to stop it all spilling into the space - We'll neaten it up later.
-Not bad hey, I think I'll add Sparkie to my resume.....Good shovel!
-Yeah, you're in luck there's two of them, the other's in there.
-Later Mate, right now I've got to do the locks on these doors so we don't have to climb through that bloody window every time.
-I thought that was part of the charm!
-I'll drill the locks and replace the barrels, that way it won't cost so much.
-A locksmith too? Why d'you ever bother with writing?
-I'm making history Chris, nothings going to stop me. There could be a knighthood for us in this, once President Havel hears.
-I'll settle for a pardon. You gotta drill?
-No.....But I think Honza at the office has. You keep shifting this crap and I'll take care of the locks, shouldn't take long. Take a break for lunch and I'll catch you up later.
-And if the police stop by - what do I tell them?
-Tell them we're working for the University.
-Thought of everything haven't you.
-Yep, except a name for this place.
-Wow!....What have you been doing, rolling around in it?
-No, just making my contribution to cultural enlightenment, that's all.
-Well, don't get carried away.
-I'll try not to, I'll leave that to you. Anyway, there's still plenty more of it.
-No, why?
-'cause you stink of booze.
-Yeah, that was Honza's idea, I had to buy him a few beers in return for the gear.
-I'm an idiot?
-Nope, not even close. I've thought of a name for this place and you were the inspiration though.
-Really, "The Freeman Centre"?
-No....The Asylum!
-Oh yeah, what's my connection to that?
-None, it's mine - you said it earlier, I'm nuts.
-I've been saying that since we met.
-Perfect, but I can't use it right now, I've got to get these locks done; it's a matter of priorities.
-Yeah, I'm beginning to see that.
-I don't know but that used to be a window and I think that was a door.
-Can you do the lock on it?
-It must be on the other side of this.
-But how did the wall get here?
-I'd love to get in there.
-Don't we have enough already?
-It must be fair old size, suppose it's empty?
-And suppose a little old lady lives there?
-No way, it's sealed - if she's in there she's dead.
-Sounds like a good reason to leave it alone.
-Well, it's definitely there - We've just got to get to it.
-Why, how in the hell are we going to set up a cafe?
-I'll rig up something don't worry - Do you think I could bash through with that little hammer?
-I don't know Doug, we haven't even got the place together and already you want to extend it.
-Look I gotta get going, shouldn't you have met Katka?
-Need any disks?
-Yeah, her name's Kavlova, why?
-See if she can donate some paintings or something to hang on these walls, give it a bit of atmosphere.
-Moved on to plumbing huh?
-I thought you were gonna throw these?
-I had a better idea, we'll burn them. There's a drum across the road; I was just waiting for the workers to go home.
-Destroy the evidence huh.
-Have you ever stolen anything?
-Nope.
-Could you handle it if it was in a good cause?
-Like helping a sick kid?
-No, for the Asylum.
-Close!
-Just aiding and abetting if it makes you feel better.
-What's that, five instead of ten years jail.
-Perfect!
-It looks new, they might miss one or two.
-We're going to need it all.
-Jesus Doug, they'll execute us!
-Let's split.
-Not yet, we need a few lengths of scaffold.
-Why don't we just take the whole damn building, brick by brick Doug.
-Look at it this way, it's their contribution. If we'd explained it to them, they'd probably have given it to us anyway.
-So why didn't we?
-Afternoon!
-Am I late?
-No, not if you've got better things to do.
-Like a hand?
-Do you think anyone will really come here?
-Fancy some lunch after we_re through with this Meccano shit?
-We'd better get some booze in for tonight.
-You should have said it was Bring-A-Bottle.
-Here, let's both put in two hundred crowns. That should get nine or ten bottles of wine.
-No beer?
-You get the wine and I'll go see if I can rustle up some plastic cups.
-Why don't we go together?
-Red or white?
-I see, you've got your hands too far up your collective arse to pull it out long enough except to drink my bloody wine.
-Have you cleared all the rubble up?
-No, not yet.
-Get me a couple of beers and a salami.
-We could make a start on the floor afterwards.
-No, We aren't going to do it.
-Thanks. Come on Chris, give me a hand.
-My God! What happened?
-I fell in love.
-And a tram hit you?
-No, the boyfriend.
-What happened to Katka?
-Didn't I tell you, she dumped me Monday night.
-You Romeo's sure pay a high price sometimes - anyone I know?
-Holly!
-Couldn't keep your hands off the hired help, huh?
-It just happened.
-She's as American as apple pie too. Have you figured out exactly what it is you despise about them?
-She's cool.
-A fine specimen for conversion.
-What are you on about?
-Don't tell me you really are in love?
-Yeah and I got the bruises to prove it. So what?
-Chris, can you do me a favour?
-What?
-Take the drill back to Honza at the office, I promised to get it back for the weekend and I don't want to show my face there.
-You might make Henry happy......Sure, I'll do it.
-Shit no, it'll be twice cost.
-You capitalist pig!
-Does Jahn's thing have a name?
-It's me you want, I'm responsible for all this.
-Chris! Tell me some good news.
-Tell me some bad news?
-I don't want to ruin your day.
-That bad?
-Your too good for this town, Buddy.
-So I hear.
-Huh?
-I had a visit from the British Embassy. They think I'm a stray soccer hooligan.
-I stopped by your office. Henry was steaming, he says he's going to throw you out of the window and that you never worked at the Bugler.
-He got that one right.
-They're good guys..... Have you seen Holly?
-No, but I ran into Jahn, seems him and his friends are in big trouble with the University, they might even be expelled.
-Damn!
-Did you see a lawyer and go before a judge?
-Yeah. I tell you, they're one big happy family over there.
-What happened?
-I don't know, I'm waiting for the transcript.
-You're kidding.
-Well, the trial's in two weeks, but I think they've already sentenced me. They just need to check if Siberia can slot me in.
-WE gotta think of something.
-Now you're using that word.
-You know, there is one thing I can't figure out. All along they've been bugging me about those files and when I told them I'd burned all that stuff, they went nuts - they told the Consul guy they were medical records?
-So?
-Well, it seems they've dropped any charge relating to the files.
-Lucky break!
-Maybe, but I've started to wonder what those files were all about. Suppose it was old KGB stuff and had the dirt on big people or maybe the personnel records of the secret police, that might explain all the hassle and the cover-up.
-Did you see anything in the files?
-It was all in Czech wasn't it.
-What happened to those disks I gave you, have you still got them?
-Yeah, somewhere?
-Suppose those contained all the file info too? You could have a third or so of it there.
-Do you want me to see what's on them?
-No point, it'll be in Czech and God knows what format. But if I'm right, they could be my ticket out of here.
-And if you're wrong.
-Siberia.
-What do you want me to do?
-Get me one of the disks. Ask a Czech girl to smuggle it in to me this evening. Put the others in a locker and write the details in a note to Reuters and be ready to send it, if this doesn't work. You'd better keep clear of your apartment too. Do you know someone with a phone?
-Yeah, Dave Walters.
-It's...42 56 76 .
-42 56 76......... Okay, you wait at Dave's for my call tomorrow, if you don't hear from me by three o'clock, send that note and get out of the country fast.
-Doug, I can't just leave you!
-If I cut a deal, I'm not staying in this country and I want Holly to come with me. So, if she doesn't come here today, you're going to have to get her to me tomorrow; after I call, promise?
-Sure....Anything else I can do for you?
-God, I think I need a holiday.
-Some deal you did there!
-What about me?
-Time for lunch I think. I'll get the sandwiches. What would you like Holly?
-Yeah, no problem.
-I can't go with him.
-You don't understand, I can't!
-I made a deal with Josh.
-What?
-It was a condition of getting Doug out.
-What are you talking about?
-In return for Doug's freedom, I was never to see him again, I had to - it was his only chance.
-You mean, Josh's father had nothing to do with it?
-No!
-You're sure?
-Well, he should be on his way back to his apartment by now.
-Do you know the way?
-Sure, it's on the red metro line you....
-No, by road?
-Yeah, pretty well.
-Take this exit.
-That one?
-Jesus Holly, we got enough time.
-Okay, but I don't want to miss him.
-It's that one isn't it.
-There shooting at something.
-Doug?
-Good morning.
-I'm just here to record some details, standard stuff.
-I don't know what it is with you bloody hooligans. Not content with causing trouble back home, YOU idiots have to go off and wreak havoc throughout the whole of Europe. And when finally, the police do catch up with you, you expect us to wave a magic wand and get you out, well not this time, I'm sorry.
-So am I.
-Now - Your name is Douglas Greenwell, yes?
-Yes.
-Date of birth, November the fourth nineteen-sixty-two.
-Yes.
-Your home address is 18 Thornton Avenue, Coventry.
-That's my mum's.
-I see, would you like us to inform her of your situation?
-No!
-Now, have you been read your rights and are you aware of the charges?
-No!
-Well, I'll try and get that clarified. As I understand it though, the charges include break and enter, theft, trespass, operating an unlicensed facility, vandalism and destruction of government documents - Whatever possessed you to start destroying people's medical records?
-They didn't look like medical files to me.
-Well a plea of ignorance won't go far here. Frankly, I think you deserve everything that's coming.
-Before you go, did you get those bruises here?
-Hey, Lawrence how are you doing mate?
-Doug, haven't seen you for a while.
-I've been around.
-Have you met Holly? Josh's friend.
-No! Look Lawrence, I've taken over the lease on a theatre downtown and I'm throwing a party tomorrow night to show it off. It's going to be for alternative arts, but I need some help to finish it off, can you put the word out?
-Sure. Excellent.
-I'd like to talk with you about doing some performance poetry here....A weekly thing.
-Hmm, I see possibilities but you got a lot to do.
-We should be done by the weekend.
-Really?
-I could pencil you in if you like?
-Turned Czech huh?
-Lawrence is getting derogatory again.
-Shhhhh, I'm concentrating!
-So why don't you get up and speak something, then we will see who is crazy.
-Why don't you read something after the break? DOUG What here? Weren't you listening to what I just said?
-You used to read.
-Well, get me and Chris a drink then.
-I'll get the drinks, but not here. Let's split. I can't stand this any more, it's murdering my respect for literature.
-But I don't want to go, I am enjoying it.
-So what's it going to be, Coogan's or U Vayvudoo?
-I'm not staying out late and I can't come back to your place.
-A word of advice my celibate friend. These Czech girls look like dynamite and go like it, but don't be fooled; there's a price to be paid and it's going up fast. Right Kat?
-What?
-It's just talk, he's drunk.
-Don't give me this Kat, I'm doing it for you and your country.
-What? You are crazy!
-Doug I can't, I've got to be at work by eight. You promised to take me home.
-I don't want to get in trouble.
-I'm not going in Doug. I'll wait for you here.
-Doug you said you wouldn't be long. Come on, I've got to go. Now!
-It's not fair, you hardly talked to me tonight.
-Let's walk over the bridge, we haven't done that for a while.
-We should go to the Metro it's quicker.
-Kat, I'm in paradise. I don't ever want to leave.
-So, we won't be going to London?
-I hope you're going to invite me in?
-Everybody is at home, it's no good.
-She's tired.
-I want you so bad. She'll be asleep soon, maybe we could do it quietly under the sheets.
-No way Doug, I can't.
-Beer please! Do you want another drink?
-I think I'm stupid.....All you do is use me and expect me to wait for you.
-No.
-That's not true, we have a great time together. I've said I'm sorry. Let's forget about it and go stop by my place, so I can get changed.
-I could have my choice of many boyfriends and go to movies and discos but I waste my time waiting for you and then going to stupid pubs.
-I'm not a bloody teenager okay, I told you I can't do that shit.
-That's it, I am just stupid teenager, yes?
-No, I love you, really.
-Then tell me, what will happen? Tell me!
-I thought for sure they would catch me.
-Will it help to get you out?
-If you get out can we be together again.
-I'm no good for you Katka, besides I won't be able to stay in Prague.
-But we could go to London and live in England.
-I don't understand, it's your home?
-There's nothing there for me.
-Forget about me Kat.
-It was a mistake, I never wanted to hurt you, but it had to end sooner or later and now, well now I love someone else.
-No, it's not true, you're lying.
-Yeah, for sure.
-No, I am an actor not a labourer, I am just warning you, that's all.
-Interesting. Do reckon I could fit through here?
-Sure, I've done it easily.
-Hi, want to take up dancing?
-Later. Jahn, I've been let down by the guys who were going to do the flooring. They brought the materials but took my money and ran. You guys have a school theatre don't you?
-Yes, The Obelisk but it's closed for repairs.
-So I hear, do you know some of the stage hands?
-Sure, they are students.
-There's three thousand crowns, it's all I got.
-It's not so much.
-Look, if you can get them to finish it by Friday, you and your friends can do the opening performance that night.
-Can we charge admission?
-I'll do my best. Is the place open.
-Yep, it's all yours.
-They'll do it.
-Great. And your all set for the performance?
-Yeah, it's a simple piece. If they get the floor done in time, me and the others will rehearse tomorrow afternoon, but it's not critical.
-No thanks, I must go, but maybe you could get some beers for the guys.
-Yes, it's looks good.....We will use this for the soundtrack and we will have two guys up there with the spotlights. The others will just be house lights.
-Great....How long will it go for?
-About forty minutes.
-Okay?
-It is okay........We will paint the wood black, yes?
-Yeah, great....Dobchay! It will dry, yes?
-Yes, of course...maybe one hour.
-Tomorrow, we will bring some lights and also hang some fabric. I think it will be finished in the morning.
-You mean you don't know, Henry! We got a bunch of anarchists, controlling a six-level block of luxury apartments down on Janovska street here in the Old Town, and you don't know about it?
-Ah, so what?
-Henry, these guys already push most of the drugs in this town and now they want to move into pornography, right? Believe me, it won't stop there either, next it'll be a church and pretty soon they'll have their own department store or something...... Henry, we've got to stop them. The foundation's got to put an end to it!
-How?
-I'm in close with these guys, it isn't easy, but slowly they're opening up to me. Give me a month and I'll blow their movement wide open.
-A month, Jesus! And how do I know you're not crapping me?
-You can hold back this months pay-check until I come through with the story.
-What pay-check? You ain't done nothing!
-Henry, I've been working my tail off on this. Look, all I need is a little cash to loosen up some tongues and you've got the scoop. It'll send those scum-bags down for life; be a big feather in the cap for the Bugler and your board of directors back home!
-I got a bad feeling about this.... How much do you need?
-There's three thousand and if you don't come through, I'm going throw you clean out of that window. Deal?
-And take Jiri with you?
-What for?
-Any chance of getting me out on bail?
-Will they free me?
-I don't know - maybe they are talking about it now. Mr Vitovetch is a good friend of the Judge.
-Will this thing take long?
-No, it should be over soon.
-You mean it's started?
-Of course, you can see that lady over there, she is recording everything.
-How do I know what's being said?
-No act of love but willing violence demanded by one and begged by the other. As life turned to fantasy and reality to ecstasy a need, so deep no light could reach, surfaced like a nocturnal creature unearthed for momentary and glorious display. Left alone in a rose-tinted afterglow dimming fast she tasted the moisture of her body and wondered why light came to
-I'll put one on the notice-board too.
-Am I invited?
-I thought I'd help out.
-We don't need you.
-Alright, go help Chris shovel up the last of the crap.
-Seems a shame!
-Why are you doing all this, what for?
-Well, I've failed at everything else I've done and I can't hack it as a journalist, even for the Bugler.
-What's the Bugler?
-It's a student magazine networked through Eastern Europe and funded by Republican do-gooders back in the States.
-I figured you more as a Socialist?
-I moving more to Communism now it's dying out.
-A champion of lost causes huh?
-No, I'm just running scared, same as everyone else.
-We_re not all running away
-Shall I wash these out?
-Is it dry?
-What would you like, beer?
-No, just a coffee.
-I'd better get you to a hospital.
-It's all my fault, I'm so sorry Doug.
-I had it coming from someone.
-Who you saving the dishes for?
-Don't you have a girlfriend?
-I'd better get going, do you need a hand to get into bed?
-Did you take your things over to my place?
-Uh-huh!
-Run into Josh?
-Yeah, but it was okay.
-Better than you.
-Hmm, I still owe him.
-Why don't we both forget about him?
-Head the flyers up with Asylum and then put Debut of....Psychosis, Theatre experimental. That'll cover us if it flops. On the bottom put seek Asylum where the stars shine on Betlemska.
-Weren't you going to get some glasses?
-Where did you steal the car?
-It's Josh's.
-This is your doing?
-Yes, they had nothing to do with it.
-And you broke into that room?
-That's right.
-You will wish you hadn't.
-Why did you break into that particular building?
-It was the biggest I could find.
-What was the real purpose behind this venture?
-A kind of freedom.
-Enjoying our hospitality?
-No!
-We'll have to see what more we can do for you, while you are still our guest.
-Thanks, but I don't intend to stay.
-Really!
-Good try Mr. Greenwell but a little late. We have analyzed the contents of that drum, the remains of the disks are there, just as you said.
-You are playing a very dangerous game, I suggest you make it easy on yourself and tell me where they are.
-What is it you want?
-I'm not sure it's possible.
-And the students?
-I have the Director's word, there will be no action against them. You may go once we have the disks.
-How do I know this isn't a trap?
-You have the letter and my word, if you wish you may wait upstairs....Now, where are the disks?
-I'll need to make a phone call.
-Would you like your things now?
-Yeah!
-Central station, locker number 139 - combination JFK.
-We had a deal!
-That's okay I like the metro, it's only a couple of stops from here.
-Hey Doug, where you been?
-No, just a drill.
-A drill, what are you up to?
-Nothing. I've got to put up some kitchen shelves that's all. You've got one haven't you?
-Yeah.
-And a fifty foot extension lead?
-You don't have fifty foot of apartment!
-Sure!
-Give me a break, will you. How often do I ask you for something?
-Okay, Okay, but I want it right back. It belongs to my father.
-No problem, is it at your place?
-Great, let's break for lunch and I'll buy you a beer on the way.
-But I have to finish this....
-So, he didn't fire you?
-When the hell did you write that?
-Just yesterday.
-Shit Honey, you could've told me. People might think it's about us!
-All I'm saying Honey is run the thing past me for Christ's sake before you get up and broadcast the crap.
-I decided to help out at the Asylum.
-Josh!
-Yeah, so I hear. Don't you think you should go get changed?
-Later.
-I think we should be going honey.
-What for?
-Well, for a start, you've got to get cleaned up.
-I don't want to go.
-Come on Holly!
-That's my bag.
-Go to hell!
-It's more than what you're worth.
-You bastard!
-Shall I look after the rest?
-Honey what a pleasant surprise, sorry to keep you waiting.
-Josh, I have to speak you, it's urgent.
-Of course Darling, you'd like to apologise?
-So, what have you got to say for yourself? Was he good in bed?
-Josh, I need your help. Doug's been arrested, he's in big trouble. I thought maybe your father and the Embassy might be able to do something.
-Will you come home and forget all about him?
-Yes, if you can get him free.
-Why are there still such headlines?
-This press we cannot control. Americans, I think.
-You know everyone can be controlled Pavel. Where are you storing the personnel files?
-In a building belonging to the University in the Old Town.
-You are quite sure it's secure?
-The files are in a sealed room and the University are under strict orders to stay away.
-You are responsible...What has happened?
-What are you an idiot!
-The building has been occupied and the locks have been changed.
-The University cannot do this. Is the room safe?
-So, who is in the building?
-Have you lost all control of this city?
-I don't understand it, there were a lot of people there last night, many Americans, I believe we should move carefully.
-It was crazy not to have destroyed them
-That was not my decision, I can only guess that one day we will again be active and our honour restored. In the meantime no one else must know those files exist. Secure the building and I will arrange alternative safe storage immediately.
-And what of these foreigners?
-And there has been enquiries from the American Embassy maybe they are involved?
-All the more reason to eliminate him.
-What if his accomplices have made copies?
-Delay Mr Greenwell's departure until the disks have been located and you have notified me. Then, have one of your officers drive him home - I'll see to the rest.
-Very well.
-So go dance.
-With you.
-She's coming over here...
-That's one girl who can't take a hint.
-She asleep?
-Pictures from the play. Jamie looks pretty --
-I'm sorry about how we --
-No. You're with who you should be. It's like she chose you.
-And I have no idea why.
-What if they expel you?
-Kelly wouldn't do that.
-Why not?
-I'm not hanging. I'm fixing my car --
-You don't need a car you can't drive for a month. Go see Marvin.
-'Bout what?
-Your father dropped off an extra check.
-I don't want his money.
-It could help with a new car --
-Out with Belinda?
-That's over. Way over.
-You saw him?
-We talked. He wanted to get a bite -- after. I said no.
-After he moved out, I invited him to every practice, every game, every parent-teacher conference you ever had. He didn't show, not once.
-He wants to show now.
-You look nice. I should have dressed.
-You're fine like that, Mom.
-There's hot cider in the kitchen.
-Thanks.
-I haven't seen Clay or Eric lately.
-To see your father?
-A late night or an early morning?
-Late night. You?
-Were you with Jamie?
-Yeah.
-Honey, some of this is... farfetched. You take after me. People skills and common sense. Good dependable qualities.
-I could take after Dad, too.
-You do. You're handsome and charming.
-I meant he's a doctor.
-That's eight years of school and training -- after college. And all that doesn't necessarily make you a better human being.
-I could do it if I tried. Even Kelly thinks so.
-But if it doesn't happen, grab for something within reach. Life's tough enough without causing yourself disappointment --
-Have I told you how proud I am of you -- ?
-I'm sorry. I didn't know.
-I told him to leave me alone.
-Landon --
-I have no idea what to say. How to act. What if I do the wrong thing?
-What are you doing here?
-He wants to talk to you.
-Now it's okay?
-Everything's being done but it's not enough. I have to find something -- more.
-Where is he? He's supposed to be here.
-I'm thinking.
-Hypotheticals --
-Don't call him a dipshit.
-You do --
-The address?!
-Deranged.
-She's like some Puritan.
-Belinda's telling everyone that kiss was real.
-And that you're scamming on Jamie Sullivan.
-Landon!
-Say nothing. Nothing 'bout her.
-Who are you?
-Landon Carter. I was driving the car that --
-You.
-I'm very sorry --
-Get yourself a glass.
-He goes to my father's church. He could've died --
--- This your idea of small talk?
-I don't make small talk --
-Because, growing up, books were my world.
-Were?
-You don't know me.
-Your book and your brown sweater and your hair. What's more to know -- ?
-You mean care what you say? I'm worrying about other things.
-Like what? The moons of Jupiter?
-Can't you have a normal conversation?
-I don't want to have any conversation.
-'I hope your dreams come true.'
-'They won't.'
-'Is it really me?'
-You're like this fly, buzzing buzzing everywhere --
--- This play means a lot to me.
-This play -- ?
-That's deep --
--- Your act only works with an audience.
-I know you don't want help.
-Yeah.
-Why?
-Fire is like a living thing. Wild. Unpredictable.
-Like me.
-What the -- ?!
-What's with the friggin numbers?
-28 is do something illegal. 42 is befriend an enemy.
-I'm an enemy?
-The reason I got the part... I'm a little like Lizzie. Except I don't worry about some man rescuing me.
-You got some kind of list?
-Are you asking to mock me or do you really want to know?
-I'll take a chance.
-Go for it.
-So what else is on this list?
-It's private.
-Get very wasted. Lose your virginity --
-Spend a year in the Peace Corps. Make a medical discovery --
-Like you'd know.
-No problem --
-I'll get something for us to drink --
-I know. Don't say anything.
-He's a softy. Got him wrapped around my finger.
-You think so.
-Because I try to be nice to people?
-Yeah. Maybe. I dunno.
-Cuz it's dark and quiet and you can see into another world.
-The world of the dead?
-What is that?
-Saturn. Beautiful.
-Before Voyager we expected maybe a dozen rings --
-But there are thousands of them, made of floating ice --
-Maybe debris from a moon that broke apart.
-Looking for intelligent life?
-Do you believe you'll see your mother again?
-I'm building a larger one to see the nucleus of Haley's Comet --
-The dirty snowball at its core.
-Yeah. I'm probably not going to be around next time it comes.
-You're really into God, right?
-In ten words or less?
-Yeah.
-My relationship with God is my own.
-But you think about Him -- It -- Her.
-Like in a church painting. I see this giant hovering over the ground. He's wearing a robe, and has long flowing hair, and he's pointing his finger at something.
-Do you ever wonder why things happen the way they do?
-No.
-I know there's a plan for everyone, but sometimes I don't understand what the message is -- or what the point is.
-You have to believe to have faith.
-You don't believe in anything?
-The Bible. Why should I read a bunch of dumb stories about some ancient guy who supposedly worked miracles.
-Interpreted by another guy like my father.
-He doesn't trust you.
-The play's going to be really good.
-You're not in a very good mood.
-The play's in a couple of weeks.
-Oh. Just not at school...
-Yeah --
-Or anywhere where people might see us.
-Belinda's a very jealous person.
-So it's like you want to be secret friends.
-That's it! Exactly! You're reading my mind --
-He okay?
-You were great the other night.
-I haven't been nice to you.
-People can see.
-Maybe you inspire me.
-All of it.
-It's not.
-Okay. Maybe some of that is true --
-You don't know the first thing about being someone's friend --
-I don't want to be just your friend --
-You don't know what you want --
-You don't either. Take a look at yourself. Maybe you're scared that someone might actually like you --
-And why would that scare me?
-It's a start.
-So you're talking to me?
-What does that mean?!
-Hey.
-She great or what?
-Why are you doing all this? To impress me?
-Like fire.
-What?
-Yes. But not as a date date.
-Why not?
-I can't believe you asked my father's permission.
-Is there a rush?
-I have to get you home by one.
-It's only 7:30.
-Your turn.
-No.
-Before we do this.
-We're doing something -- ?
-It's about working with what you already have -- right now -- at your fingertips -- you know, spontaneously.
-Excuse me?
-The cells in our bodies are always changing. In six or seven years all your cells have changed. You could be like a completely new person from the inside out.
-Stand right here.
-You're acting like a crazy person.
-It's places like this that make me certain there's a God.
-You're sometimes not sure?
-We can measure wind.
-Uncertainty makes you uncomfortable.
-What do you actually know with religion?
-I don't understand...
-I might do it wrong.
-You make me feel...
-Loved?
-Assholes. This happen to you?
-What's wr--?
-Come on.
-Where?
-How do you know this place?
-From here he proved to me the earth isn't flat. On rainy days, we'd be above the clouds.
-What would you do up here?
-What'd you tell your father?
-When did you build this?
-It's an alt-azimuth design with one parabolic mirror and one secondary flat one.
-Where's the one you're building?
-So what do you want to see?
-Mars.
-A Thermos of hot coffee. A blanket. Socks.
-You planned this --
-Are you trying to seduce me?
-Ergo?
-What about your father?
-What's the best thing I can see tonight?
-Can you locate XXI5639I?
-Here. Why am I looking at this star?
-From citizen high to citizen low.
-I don't care.
-Care, but just don't let it get to you. It gives them power.
-That what you do?
-One of your secrets.
-You're worried about your college applications.
-You're going to take a year off? Join the Peace Corps -- ?
-No.
-What are you going to -- ?
-Pull over.
-Jamie --
-I'm sick.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-I'm so sorry. I'm a coward --
-I should have told you sooner --
-I made you do too many things, kept you up all night --
-Are you frightened?
-Help me live until I die?
-Nope.
-Anything you want.
-Slim Jim? Apple? Yogurt? You like yogurt.
-What are you thinking?
-That I want you to take me home.
-Now? We just --
-I've talked to your father.
-Whatever you need. Whatever Jamie needs. I'm here. I could start by driving her to school --
-You know how to waltz??
-How you doing?
-'What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.' Aristotle.
-Lower. Same page.
-'Love is always patient and kind. It is never boastful or conceited -- '
-How're you doing?
-It's gone now.
-Because you have hope that you'll get better?
-I'll talk to your father.
-Can I -- go out?
-Will you do something for me?
-Landon. I can't even do for myself.
-But if you could, you would?
-The Carter boy. Tell me about him.
-By accident --
-Jamie, he's careless. Reckless. Is this really the best time to be making a new friend...?
-I'm supposed to always be alone?
-I don't want you to see him outside school activities.
-I'm sorry your mother isn't here to help you become a woman.
-What's Landon Carter up to?
-Up to?
-Did you give him a gift?
-No.
-I saw the way he looked at you. The way he kissed you.
-It was a play.
-Boys like him have -- expectations.
-I'm asking how much.
-Dad --
-Maybe. But that's not the real reason. You think if I tell, he'll disappear and that's what you want! Me all to yourself!
-No. I want what's best for you.
-No you didn't. But he did change. Just not enough.
-Jamie, you're not mad at me. You're mad at Landon --
-I am mad at you! And at Landon! And the universe! And God! I don't even know where to put all my anger.
-That's normal. God accepts your anger. He won't punish you.
-When Mom died you told me God wanted her more, loved her more --
-You're in the play?
-Apropos of nothing... so. So so so so --
-Reverend Sullivan. Can I ask you something?
-Does it have to do with Jamie?
-I'd like to take Jamie to dinner on New Year's Eve.
-I care for her.
-This week.
-Landon. You're not the quiet type.
-No.
-So talk to us about something.
-Like what, sir?
-How about your family?
-We didn't tell him any different for years --
-Your parents are divorced?
-Since I was five. My mom's a cocktail waitress.
-How do you -- the two of you -- get by?
-Materially or spiritually?
-It's her decision and she's decided not to tell people -- at least for now.
-Her doctors have. Jamie and I. We're still praying for a miracle.
-Praying.
-Landon. We've lived with this for over a year now and --
-Landon. You go on home.
-I'm not tired.
-I've almost finished the rocker. Did she order mirrors?
-You have materials for the side bearings?
-I'm using an old phonographic turntable.
-You know about this stuff?
-I helped Jamie with the first one.
-I thought she built it herself.
-You've been well?
-Yes. You?
-You're marrying again.
-Yes.
-I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
-Like you'd make it to June. Even cutting half your classes, you have a B- average.
-I'm no dummy.
-Now I can do what I want.
-Finding the real world to your liking, Mr. Carter?
-You could grace our hallowed halls again, if, while you're here, you make a sincere effort to be part of our little school community --
-I'd do that --
-Shall I give you a few ideas?
-Please.
-Besides attending all your regular classes, I'd like you to help our janitorial staff after school --
-For pay?
-For the inner satisfaction it will bring. Saturday mornings, I'd like you to tutor disadvantaged students at our sister school --
-Finally, I'd like you to join the drama club. Rehearsals are Tuesday and Thursday evenings.
-I'd work backstage or something?
-Or something. They're doing a play for the holidays.
-When do I get time for me?
-Landon, none of us faculty see you the way you see yourself. Some of us remember how your father --
-No way. No thanks. I can't do it --
-For Jefferson High. For books.
-Where did you get -- ?
-It's mine to give. I didn't steal it.
-Your grades for fall semester. They're -- good.
-You came here to give me my report card?
-I'd gladly write you a letter of recommendation.
-Thank you.
-Am I at the same angle to you and the basket as before?
-Yeah.
-So what did we just make?
-A similar triangle?
-What else? What kind of triangle has three sides of different lengths.
-Scalene?
-Well, well, he smirked when Marty opened the door. If it isn't the neighborhood bootlegger, Al Capone McFly?
-What do you want, Biff?
-Show me some respect, you little asshole. It's Special Officer Tannen to you.
-The day I show respect to Biff Tannen will be the day I win a million dollars... What's the matter, Biff, they're not showing you any respect down at the golf course? Don't they realize what a tough job it is keeping the criminal element away from the country club?
-Listen you little Asshole, I oughta --
-What do you want, Biff?
-This... is the number one single?
-Yes, sir!
-I don't get it. How come there's no rock 'n roll?
-I beg your pardon?
-This is 1952....?
-Uh, yes, sir...
-And you never heard of rock 'n roll?
-Morning Dick.
-Marty. What's for breakfast?
-Hot tip, Rubber Biscuit in the third race at Arlington.
-Dick, what's with those guys out there in the gutter?
-What's N.R.C.?
-I've been calling you for five minutes! Didn't you hear me?
-How was school today?
-Fine.
-Learn anything?
-Oh yeah.
-You mean you're going to stay up all night?
-Mom, how else are we gonna see the sunrise?
-How old are you?
-Here's your jacket!
-It's polyester.
-Huh?
-Hi, Marty.
-You remember me...?
-How could I forget? Oh, sure, I remember you.
-Well, I was on my way to school, and I just wanted to stop by and see if you were feeling okay. You seemed like you were in pretty bad shape the other night.
-Then you'll be going to school here....?
-What time does school start around here?
-Nine o' clock. Oh, I'm late! Maybe I'll see you later.
-George! He's supposed to ask you to the dance!
-But he didn't ask me.
-He comes out of the cafeteria line, he's nervous, he spills his corn, and he asks you to the dance!
-Hi, Marty!
-Are you all right, Marty? You seem a little...nervous.
-I'm usually nervous myself on first dates...but not tonight. It's funny, but somehow, I feel like....like I know you.
-Well, Eileen...jeez, that's hard for me to say. Have you ever been in a situation where -- well -- you know you have to act a certain way, but when you get there, you don't know if you can go through with it?
-I think I know exactly what you mean.
-Now, George! Dinner's ready now!
-By the way, that reminds me... Saturday night we're taking Grandma Stella out for Chinese food.
-Eileen, Chinese food again?
-Is that what you were going to ask me, George? To go to the dance?
-Uh, hi, Eileen.
-How are you?
-Dad, you seen the drill?
-What drill?
-Fine..
-Learn anything?
-Oh yeah.
-No, Chinese food is fine.
-The sunrise? What for?
-You've gotta ask her to the dance!
-George, she's beautiful, right? She's nice, she's decent, she's the kind of girl you'd like to marry, right? And there's nothing in the world you'd like more than to take her to that dance, right?
-Well... yeah...
-What do I say?
-Oh, no! That was for the cafeteria! This is different!
-Christ, it's a miracle I was even born!
-Huh?
-What is that? A pencil that writes in ink?
-It was Marty's turn to be confused. Huh?
-'Bike fine point?'
-I don't want to hit you in the stomach!
-You're not gonna hurt me. Just hit me in the stomach.
-How many times do I have to explain it to you?... We know you're not a fighter. You know it, I know it... but she doesn't know it. That's why we gotta make you look like a fighter, somebody who'll stand up for her, somebody who isn't chicken. And you're not gonna look like a fighter if you can't hit me in the stomach.
-But I've never picked a fight in my entire life!
-You're not picking a fight, you're coming to her rescue. Maybe we'd better go over the plan again. Where are you gonna be at 8:55?
-I'm going to be at the dance.
-And where am I gonna be?
-Okay. So right around 9:00 she's gonna get very angry with me -
-Why?
-Why what?
-You mean, you're gonna --
-Your line, George!
-Oh. Uh... 'Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!' George paused. You really think I should swear?
-Maybe if I used my left....
-You'd like to see a nuclear holocaust?
-Not a holocaust --
-You know damn well that's not what I meant.
-Yeah, explode it up your ass!
-Unfortunately, the way things are going, you may get your wish. You may see the entire annhiliation of the world. If not, you'll certainly see the destruction of all out natural resources. We can already see the air we breathe, not to mention the pollution in our rivers and lakes. We'll see all of our oil reserves depleted, in fact, all of our energy
-Yes, that's my name. Who are you, young man? Are you supposed to be here?
-You have a name?
-Who, me?
-You're the only Mr. Lewis in this class. If you have something to say, say it so the whole class can hear.
-Well, yeah, I was thinking, if cars are gonna be going two or three hundred miles an hour, they're gonna be using an awful lot of gas. Like, what if we run out?
-Operator...
-Operator! Listen, this is an emergency! I have to make this call, but I don't have a dime -- all I got is a nickel -- but you gotta connect me --
-Sir, it only costs a nickel.
-What?
-Oh -- right! Uh, Madison 3489.
-I'm sorry, there's no answer.
-Operator, what's today's date?
-March 11th.
-What year?
-Good evening, one said. Agents Reese and Foley, from the Nuclear Regulatory Commition. Mind stepping over here?
-What, am I radioactive or something?
-Been any place unusual in the past twelve hours?
-Okay, Martin. You have a good evening now.
-What?!
-Professor Brown! It's almost eight thirty -- I'm outta here!
-The power of a million hydrogen bombs! ...and we get twenty four measly volts. It's not fair! I've been working on this power converter since 1949, and you'd think in all that time, I could find the right chemicals that would efficiently convert radiation into electric energy! But no! Thirty three years of dedication and research, and all I've got to show for it
-That reminds me, if we could scrape up enough for a 35 film chain, I've got a connection with a projectionist in a first run house -- we could be sellin' new movies on the street before they're even in the theater.
-Did you ever consider that some doors are locked for a reason?
-Nope. The way I figure it, doors are made to be opened. See you after school.
-Eight thirty.
-AM or PM?
-Pro, the sun's out!
-Oh, right, right...
-Catch you later!
-But Professor --
-No, Marty. Shemp's molecular structure is completely intact!
-Then where the hell is he?
-The appropriate question to ask is when the hell is he! You see, Shemp has just become the world's first time traveller. I've sent Shemp into the future -- two minutes into the future to be exact.
-The future? What are you talking about? Where's Shemp?!
-Shemp is right here in this room...two minutes from now, and at exactly 9:02PM, we'll catch up to him.
-A time machine! Because of that Coke?!
-The plutonium! That's what I came over here for! Professor, where did you get that stuff?
-Exactly two minutes difference... and it's still ticking!
-Of course. Shemp is unaware that anything even happened, other than his stool suddenly falling over. We had to wait two minutes to catch up to him, but for Shemp the trip was instantaneous.
-A gold mine?
-Marty, that would alter history.
-So what? We'd be rich!
-All I know is you're throwing away an awful lot of money.
-The future, Marty, the future is everything! I built this machine to see the future. So I am going to send Shemp twenty-four hours into the future. You can assist me, if you like.
-Professor? Professor Brown?
-Professor, you time machine works! It works! It sent me back in time! I'm from 1982!
-He will be. Simple inebriation, is all. The young man must have a rather low tolerance for alcohol... something that runs in the family. You see, he's a second cousin of mine on my mother's side. Came quite a distance to visit me, he added. His name's Lewis.
-Marty.
-Jeez -- this is where you used to live, huh? You must have been rich!
-Must have been? Used to live? I do live here.
-Well, there's a mall here now -- I mean, there will be.
-A mall?
-You've convinced me that you must be who you say you are. No living human has ever seen this machine. But why? Why even in my twilight years would I remotely consider sending someone back in time?
-You didn't, Professor. It was an accident! You see, what happened --
-Pardon me?
-On second thought, there may be some things you'll have to tell me.
-The power converter...
-Well, Professor, are you sure you want me to tell you? You know, changing the course of history and all....
-How did you know?
-Professor. Well, not exactly, Professor. You see, we don't point it at the sun.
-4200 rads... That certainly can't be generated under controlled conditions in this day and age.
-You answered the door!
-I told you not to interfere with any of the events of this time! Nobody's supposed to see you here! What if I was a mailman? Or a salesman?
-What if you lost your keys?
-Then I would have figured out to get back in through the events in the natural course of history! Don't you understand? The fabric of history is very delicate. Anything you do could have serious consequences!
-Hey, look, gimme a break! All I did was answer the door! How's that gonna change history?
-Let me put it on a level you can understand. You don't belong here. You don't know anything about this world. You don't know the customs, you don't know how to talk, how to act -- you don't even look like you belong here. And if you walked out on the street, you wouldn't get 100 yards without being arrested. Then there would be
-An atomic bomb.
-Professor, be serious, would you?
-I am serious. If we could get you, the time machine, and the power converter in the vicinity of an atomic blast, we could send you back to the future.
-You're talking crazy! An atomic blast would melt me and the time machine in a matter of seconds!
-Say, where did this guitar come from?
-Oh -- that -- I found it in the closet.
-I don't recall ever seeing it before.
-Well, it was there.
-I know.
-Look, it's not a big deal! I can fix it! All I gotta do is get 'em together and make sure my old man asks her out!
-Where did you get this?
-The test is this Monday! 15 megatons... Let's see, we need 4200 rads... You'd have to be...exactly 800 yards from ground zero... You realize that what we're going to do could be extremely dangerous.
-Your 'mother' wanted me to tell you that she was very impressed by what you did this afternoon, and that if you were interested in going to the dance Saturday, she's available.
-But that's impossible!! George asked her out! He had to! I saw him walk her home! Oh, God!
-My guess is that she turned him down.
-But why? Why would she do that? She's supposed to marry the guy!
-Apparently, what has happened is that the maternal instinct has transcended the gap of time and this has caused an alteration in your mother's emotional behavior.
-In a manner of speaking, yes. And because of that, she's no longer interested in your father.
-That's all taken care of.
-Look. I'm a little worried about this -- this whole thing with my mother, he admitted to the Professor. I mean, I don't know if I can do it -- I mean, hitting on my own mother, that's pretty heavy.
-Nobody said anything about hitting her! You're just going to take a few liberties with her.
-That's exactly what I said! I mean, a guy and his mother -- that's illegal, isn't it?
-Look, Marty, she's not your mother yet. And if you don't go through with this, she may never be. I know it's hard, but there are some things we must do in life that are unpleasant. Some choices must be made that are difficult. Nonetheless, we must make them. Besides, this may be more than a simple question of your own existence, he added.
-That's just what I needed to hear.
-It'll be fine, Marty. You'll be fine. Good luck. He stuck his hand out and Marty shook it. But there was still a question that was nagging at him...
-There's no way of knowing.
-Perfect...
-You didn't?
-Nope. My father's never clenched a fist in his entire life!
-It was sure nice of Uncle Sam to put those yardage markers up for us.
-Thanks for everything, Pro.
-Marty, I know I've repeatedly asked you not to tell me anything about the future, but....well, those loud bangs on the tape recorder....are they....
-What year is this?
-Hop in, Marty, . We've got a long drive ahead of us.
-What do you call this?
-You see, I never rebuilt the time machine after it was destroyed in 1952. I decided that experimenting with time and possibly changing history was too risky. Anyway, experiments in time travel were banned in all 87 states after the governor of Cuba caught Dr. Felstien fooling around in the Bermuda Triangle -- that was back in '64.
-But if you didn't rebuild the time machine, how did I go back in time in the first place?
-Obviously!
-But I told everyone your disappearance was due to a teleportation experiment you were helping me with. So don't mention anything about time travel to anyone.
-What theater was I at?
-Pretty, isn't it?
-Uh, yeah... Gimme a Tab.
-What?
-Sweet and what? Maybe you'd better pay for this first.
-Look, maybe I'd better talk to Dick. Is he around?
-Dick? Dick who?
-Now who's being stupid? The guy who runs this place.
-I run this place!
-What happened to Dick Wilson?
-...He just lets himself get pushed around all the time! People walk all over him and he never fights back, never stands up for himself.
-No self confidence, I guess... At least you don't take after him.
-Can you imagine your parents in bed together?
-No way!
-Me neither. I've always wondered whether they slept together before they got married. You think yours did?
-Hell no! The way my mom carries on about sex -- you even mention the word and she goes into cardiac arrest. You shoulda seen her face when I told her we were gonna stay up all night Saturday, he added. Always afraid something is going to happen.
-Suzy!
-Hi, Marty!
-What did you do to your hair?
-Hi. where's Cato?
-Well, he's gone.
-Gone?... Where?
-He said not to tell.
-Oh yeah?
-No... You go in there, I'll have to kill you.
-What's going on?
-Nah, skip that... I'm going to have to keep an eye on you, though.
-Okay.
-You promise to stay down there for an hour?
-Yeah.
-Catch!
-How you doing, Cato?
-What you been doing?
-Running this place for a fella in town. Nothing much to speak of.
-Where'd you get them antlers?
-Yeah, I guess.
-That's what he told you, huh?
-Kit... Maybe I'd better get a shovel.
-Okay.
-I'll catch up with you.
-Don't you ever get bored around here?
-What'd they look like?
-That your spider in there? In that bottle?
-Yeah.
-What do you feed him?
-Oh, flies... grasshoppers when I can catch 'em.
-Does he bite?
-You ever held another job before?
-I used to throw trash for the City.
-You lost that one?
-Wouldn't be here if I hadn't.
-What kind of work do you think you would be qualified for?
-Oh yeah?
-We did it, Ray.
-Say, what kind of rifle was that you were shooting at me?
-Thirty aught six.
-You ever had to open it up like that before?
-Kit... Kit, I've got a question for you.
-Mmmmm.
-You like people?
-They're okay.
-Then why'd you do it?
-Hey, listen, Tom, I don't mean to tell you how to run your show here but these cuffs are pinching. What do you say now?
-I need to get your signature on some papers here, Kit.
-Well, I've got to read them first. Suppose I could get a Coke while I do?
-Holly's over here, Kit, if you want to see her.
-Well, Kit...
-Tom...
-Good luck to you.
-Thanks.
-I mean it.
-Sure is pretty.
-What'd you come out here for?
-You know, before I met her, nobody could ask me how I was doing with my girl. Matter of fact, I didn't really have one.
-Is that right?
-Listen. I got a lot of respect for her, sir. That's about as good a one as I know to tell you.
-Well, it's not good enough. Just what do you think would happen to her if she stuck around with you, Kit? Guy like you.
-Hi.
-What're you doing?
-What do you think you're doing? Go on, get out of here.
-What for?
-For coming onto my property... With a gun.
-No, you're not either.
-Yeah? Why not?
-What's going to happen to Jack and me?
-You have to ask Kit. He says frog, I jump.
-Okay.
-What's your friend's name?
-Jack.
-You love him?
-I've got to stick by Kit... He feels trapped.
-Yeah. I can imagine.
-Hi, I'm Kit. I'm not keeping you from anything important, am I?
-No.
-Well, I was just messing around over there, thought I'd come over and say hello to you. I'll try anything once. What's your name? I said mine.
-Holly.
-Listen, Holly, you want to take a walk with me?
-What for?
-Oh, incidentally, my last name is Carruthers. Sounds a little too much like "druthers", doesn't it?
-It's okay.
-You still in school?
-Nah, I got me a job.
-Doing what?
-That's my father. I got to run.
-Well, I know what my daddy's going to say.
-What?
-Can I be honest?
-Sure.
-Well, that I shouldn't be seen with anybody that collects garbage.
-He'll say that?
-Yeah.
-Now what's he know about garbage, huh?
-Nothing.
-There you go.
-Hi.
-Well, stop the world.
-Quit my job.
-Great.
-Just seemed like the right move... Whatcha doing?
-Spanish.
-How do you say "Quit my Job" in Spanish?
-Yeah, well, I'm going to work as a cowboy now... Or thinking about it. It's a routine, like anything. What do you think?
-You want to go for a ride?
-Well, I got homework.
-You're a redhead.
-I know.
-Anybody ever call you "Red"?
-Yeah, but I don't like it.
-Why not?
-Just don't... I've got a headache.
-Can I come around and see you tomorrow?
-What a nice place.
-Yeah, the tree makes it nice.
-And the flowers... Let's not pick them. They're so nice.
-My stomach's growling.
-There's an old Fudgesicle over there. You want it?
-Somebody else is going to get it.
-I don't care.
-Did it go the way it 'uz supposed to?
-Yeah.
-Is that all there is to it?
-Gosh, what was everybody talking about?
-You know what I think?
-What?
-That we should crunch our hands with this stone. That way we'd never forget what happened today.
-But it would hurt.
-Don't call me stupid.
-I came in the front.
-How bad off is he?
-I can look and see.
-We better call the doctor... Listen. I'll say how it happened, part I saw.
-Are you sure?
-Listen, maybe we ought to tell somebody about this.
-You said that once already... Too late now.
-Why?
-Suppose the neighbors heard the noise?
-How you doing?
-I'm fine. Kind of tired.
-"The Kon-Tiki in motion was a little different from what it usually was in such conditions. We had become sensitive to changes in the rhythm of the logs. I thought at once of suction from the coast, which was drawing near, and was continually out on the deck and up the mast..."
-I found a lid. It was laying on the ground over there.
-Look at all this junk.
-How's he doing?
-Is he upset?
-Whatcha looking in there for? We can't afford any of that.
-Think I got 'em?
-I don't know.
-What'd you put him in there for?
-You tired?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, you look tired... Listen, honey. when all this is over, I'm going to sit down and buy you a big, thick steak.
-I don't want a steak.
-Later we found out she was deaf and we hadn't even known it.
-Hey, why're you always walking ahead of me?
-Don't.
-Anybody ever done that to you before?
-No.
-Positive?
-Yes.
-I'd like to get out of here.
-"Rumor: Pat Boone is seriously considering giving up his career so he can return to school full-time and complete his education. Fact: Pat has told intimates that so long as things are going well for his career, it's the education that will have to take the back seat."
-I don't blame him.
-That's Montana over there.
-Why not? I mean, I'm having fun... At least I'm not bitching.
-Well, I feel kind of like an animal living out here. I mean, there's no place to bathe and... no place to get anything good to eat.
-Everybody loves trout.
-Maybe we should've tried to hop it.
-It was going too fast.
-I could've pulled the car up on the tracks, slowed it down some.
-Yeah, then we'd be stuck here.
-Well, maybe the slope here is throwing it off some. We ought to find a more flat place.
-Never mind. It doesn't matter... If I'm worth a damn, I'll pick the right direction. And if I'm not, well, I don't care. See what I mean?
-No.
-What?
-Nothing... I was just running off at the mouth... as usual.
-You know... they'd probably ask to see your driver's license before they hired you.
-You smoke Pall Mall?
-Boy. I had a feeling today was going to be the day... Helicopter.
-Yeah.
-Have you got a better idea?
-I just don't want to go.
-Course it's too bad about your dad.
-Yeah.
-Hi.
-Hi... ah, Mister Scarborough here?
-Yeah, but the thing about him, he's down with the flu. He's sick.
-Really?
-Yeah. I'd invite you inside, except it's contagious. Don't want to start an epidemic.
-No, of course not. It's only that he called last night and asked if I could come by.
-What's that?
-Well, I'd like to leave a message, if that's okay.
-Hi.
-Yes?
-This your place?
-Sorry to barge in on you. Anybody else here besides you two?
-Good deal... Oh, uh, we're on the run and we'd like to hang out here for a while. Couple of hours, maybe. How'd that be?
-Hi, whatcha doing?
-Just thinking.
-Yes.
-Listen, ah... We're going to take the Cadillac for a while. How'd that be?
-Fine.
-You're my friend, aren't you?
-Yes.
-Morning... Say, you got any gas?
-Maybe.
-See, we're about out... been driving all night. Actually, I don't even have time to explain it to you.
-Well, matter of fact, I don't have any.
-You didn't walk out here.
-It's mine all right.
-Who are you?
-Okay, friend. Start running.
-Just gimme a chance.
-Hi.
-Hold it right there.
-Think I'll take the juice?
-You tossed my hat out the window.
-Wanta sue me?
-So we'll help. Let's get crackin'!
-All these people applied for drivers' licenses in the same town in New Jersey on the exact same date.
-New Jersey?
-November 1, thirty days have September, April, June, and November...when short February's done, all the rest have thirty-one. October 31st! Halloween! Don't you get it? Orson Welles!
-You mean the guy from the old wine commercials?
-Halloween. 1938..."War of the Worlds"...that fake radio news broadcast that got everybody scared, thinking that real live Martians were landing in Grover's Mill, New Jersey! But then it all just turned out to be a hoax.
-Forgive the butterfingers, Buckaroo. Casper Lindley, Knight of the Blue Shield, at your disposal. And my son, Scooter.
-She gotta be kiddin', right? Vaporize the whole damn planet--?
-You wanna take the chance, Casper?
-Not me. No way.
-There's another one we owe 'em.
-See 'em? They about had me and the whole damn car for breakfast. Broke my windshield...
-Smells fermented. Check in with the Institute, Reno, see if everything's kosher.
-Rawhide tells me Dr. Lizardo escaped...
-We at the Banzai Institute have at last found that way: an alternating gradient synchronizer that softens solid matter by attenuating its electroweak forces!
-Buckaroo! What the Sam Hill!
-Careful...don't make noise and don't touch me. I'm hotter than flapjacks.
-What?
-Ever since that phony phone call from the President. Look at this. What is it?
-It's your hand, Buckaroo.
-Antidote to what? Whose disguises?
-Arachtoids. From Planet Ten.
-Planet 10?
-I'm starving...somebody, help.
-Got a half a tuna sandwich.
-Then what?
-Dr. Lizardo's a raving lunatic, Perfect Tommy, a vicious psychopath with crazy eyes and flaming orange hair that once upon a time was mousy brown like yours.
-Have you warned Professor Hikita?
-The professor and Dr. Emilio Lizardo were actually the first to discover the Eighth Dimension. Almost fifty years ago. Before Buckaroo's parents even knew each other. But there was trouble, a rocket catapult failed and Dr. Lizardo got sucked half in, half out...when they hauled him back ,he wasn't the same guy. His hair was orange...
-And his soul black as the Ace of Spades.
-Go back to the bus and reroute the call.
-That's me. I've been ionized, but I'm okay. I'm, switching on the homing beacon, mark two minute intervals.
-Buckaroo, somebody shanghaied the Professor!
-What crate?
-I think I'm on to something. You and the guys go back to the house and dig up everything you can on an outfit called Yoyodyne.
-You okay?
-You're a welcome sight...
-Apache?
-Arachtoid.
-We will, old fried, we will.
-Anybody we know?
-Buckaroo, you got a minute--?
-Not really. This is pretty important.
-Everybody ready? How do we look? Do we look okay?
-Hey, any lock can be picked. So what's he up to?
-Running a little late, Buckaroo.
-Let her out. In my custody.
-Planet 10? The same Planet 10 you postulated beyond Pluto, Perfect Tommy? The invisible body?
-It wouldn't tell us the whole story until you got here. It wasn't to talk to the head honcho.
-Buckaroo--! Sorry--
-What is it, Tommy?
-Dead. Damnit!
-It's Whorfin, Buckaroo. Line 3.
-All accounted for? Where's Penny?
-These antidote filters the Professor's whipped up will let you to see them like I have since yesterday, as arachtoidal creatures. They won't be pretty, nothing personal, John Parker. But just remember...if we fail tonight, there's no tomorrow.
-What is this thing? A fighter?
-We're going down! Onto the runway!
-I lack the authority, Buckaroo Banzai.
-Does this thing have guns, John Parker?
-Pull up! We did it! Holy shit, we did it! Pull up!
-Now, Buckaroo Banzai?
-And there's a two-hundred-dollar deductible we have to eat on that crack in her windshield.
-They're arachtoids, Buckaroo, from Planet 10!
-...where there was some kinda giant crash landing, a huge explosion and they fooled Orson Welles into covering it up! And then they founded Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems and hid there for...
-...but he wasn't the real Doctor Lizardo...just this arachtoid creep that stole the good doc's body the year before in the Eighth Dimension when Prof. Hikita's lab exploded...
-Where're you goin'?
-And they got Penny! Look!
-They're armed for bear, Buckaroo. Check out those radiation levels.
-Got a casualty list?
-Just their side. What're we gonna do with these people? They're illegal aliens, the way I figure, been here forty years, you could throw the book at 'em...
-Raise your hand...where?
-This is so embarrassing...
-Somebody get her a mike? Can we manage that? And a spotlight. What's your name?
-Did you say..."Peggy"?
-Nobody's a nobody. Why're you crying? What's wrong?
-Did I say anything was wrong? I just sponged up a little too much Vat 69, okay? I'm down to my last nickel in this lousy town, I can't get my luggage outta hock 'cause I met this jerk who said he was a record producer when all he had was a record. He offered to set me up for life, and like a
-He offered you money?
-This song's for Peggy. And all you others out there a little down on your luck.
-Let me go, let me go, you creeps...
-What're you doing here? Why're you looking at me like that?
-I guess 'cause you remind me of someone I once knew, long ago before any of this craziness.
-Go away. Let me rot?
-Who were you really trying to kill last night?
-You. Like the papers all say.
-Was she pretty?
-Who?
-The girl I remind you of.
-She was the Queen of the Netherlands.
-I'd turn around, but I'm afraid you'd strangle me.
-The Netherlands. Whew, that's a long way from Wyoming.
-Wyoming? Not Cody, by any chance?
-No. Laramie. Except I was born in Cody. How did you know that? Oh, right, sure, I forgot: you know everything.
-Having a little trouble with that knot, aren't you?
-Did you have family there--? A sister? In Cody?
-I don't know. I always felt like I did, like there was another me...
-Another 'you'?
-Somewhere. See I was taken away by the Priddies when I was a baby. I was adopted.
-Adopted. I should have know. Of course. If it was a snake, it'd bit me!
-What? I don't understand you. I don't understand anything anymore.
-You keep an eye on it.
-Open up or I'll shoot it off.
-She must've been a bigger fool than me if she ran out on a guy like you...
-She was killed, Penny.
-Oh, my.
-Looks like you're the one might go to pieces.
-Where's my damn ammo? Nothing is ever where it's supposed to be around here!
-How did she die? I wanna know.
-You don't wanna know.
-Yes, I do. Gimme a chance. I'm stronger than you think.
-She was murdered by Hanoi Shan on our wedding night.
-Hanoi Shan--? The guy in your comic books. Boss of the World Crime League? Supreme Commander of the Legion of Death? The Pivot of Mystery himself? You're putting me on. He's a cartoon character.
-Never.
-I gotta be honest with myself and not repress these feelings-I've got mixed emotions-I don't know if I can handle this. Oh, boy...
-I gotta go. We're on borrowed time.
-Go where? Where're you going?
-Please, Penny. You just gotta trust me now. Okay? And don't panic. Because it's gonna be all right.
-What? If we just believe in Buckaroo Banzai?
-Yeah...and maybe more important, if you believe in yourself.
-Believe in Penny Priddy?
-You've got your six guns strapped on. You're ridding off on another adventure? Oh, my God, it's all real...it really is real. I should go with you. Please...
-It's too dangerous.
-Stay here, I'll be back.
-I'm not worth it, Buckaroo! Forget me!
-World Watch One. Direct incoming transmission.
-Hello, Mr. President. How's my favorite patient? Any tenderness?
-Not too terrific, sir. I apologize for the interruption but something very unusual has reared its ugly head in outer space, and it looks like the Earth's caught in a crossfire.
-...hit Smolensk and precipitate a thermonuclear war, Mr. President.
-A what?
-A thermonuclear holocaust, sir. These creatures from Planet 10 are ready to exploit Soviet-American tensions and get us to blow each other off the face of the earth, sir, if necessary.
-What? A black ship? Where? A black thermopod's been shot down ten miles back.
-Where was it, John O'Connor? How far back?
-Not here! No Overthruster!
-John Whorfin will kill us!
-But John Whorfin said kill her.
-Buckaroo, come in...over. How does this damn thing work? Can anybody figure this lighter out?
-No, sir. I think the flint...
-What's happening with my call to SAC?
-Still no confirmation either from SAC or Strategic Space Command. They report all surveillance satellite communication jammed.
-Jammed--? By who? Whom by?
-Possible atmospheric condition, sir...solar. It's unusual, but no cause for alarm. Intelligence reports the Soviets are having the same problem.
-How long you been riding with Buckaroo, Reno?
-Nigh on ten years. Been through a lotta scrapes together.
-What'd you do before? Can I ask?
-Government work. Had my own think tank. Got tired of thinking-wanted some action. Seen plenty of it too. So will you if you stick around.
-Where's Buckaroo? Is he alive?
-What's his problem?
-Perfect Tommy's just threatened by smart women. Can you play that thing?
-Better see what's keepin' the boss, Reno.
-Pick those up, Reno.
-It's a spittin' image.
-Doesn't look anything like her to me.
-Pictures don't lie.
-Hell they don't. I met my first wife that way.
-Doctor Lizardo. Wasn't he on TV once?
-You're thinking of Mr. Wizard. This guy's an eccentric genius.
-The name's Reno. This here's Perfect Tommy.
-Reno, how's about you take New Jersey's gear, mosey on over to the bus and introduce him to the rest of the hands.
-Why me?
-Any sign of Buckaroo?
-We're waiting for the Jet Car. Billy's bringing it.
-So where's Buckaroo?
-Unscheduled surgery. He'll be waltzing along momentarily. What're you doing tonight?
-That's why I wear a fifty dollar hat. Was a two hundred dollar hat, I hadda kill you.
-Bet you say that to all the girls, Perfect Tommy.
-Now twenty seconds downrange...Perfect Tommy, how on earth is Buckaroo able to keep that thing on the ground?
-Is, uh... Is he okay?
-I am sorry, it's so embarassing.
-How about you? Will you be alright?
-I'll be fine... Are you a writer, Mr Fink?
-I'll tell Bill you dropped by. I'm sure he'll want to reschedule your appointment.
-Perhaps the three of us, Mr. Fink.
-Please, Barton.
-I see.
-...I know this must look... funny.
-Let him go.
-...Oh Barton, I feel so... sorry for him!
-What?! He's a son of a bitch!
-No, sometimes he just... well, he thinks about Estelle. His wife still lives in Fayettesville. She's... disturbed.
-...Well that doesn't excuse his behavior.
-He'll wander back when he's sober and apologize. He always does.
-Okay, but that doesn't excuse his –
-Barton. Empathy requires... understanding.
-Pick it up... Pick it up. Pick it-
-Hello.
-Audrey, listen, I need help. I know it's late and I shouldn't be calling you like this – believe me I wouldn't have if I could see any other alternative, but I – I'm sorry - listen, how are you – I'm sorry. You doing okay?
-...Who is this?
-If you could, I'd –
-Hello, Barton.
-Now that's all right, Barton. Everything'll be all right.
-Yes. Thank you. How's Bill?
-Well I have to come up with – an outline, I'd guess you call it. The story. The whole goddamn story. Soup to nuts. Three acts. The whole goddamn-
-It's alright, Barton. You don't have to write actual scenes?
-Yes, I'm afraid I have.
-What are they like? What are they about?
-Well... THIS.
-You wrote his scripts for him?
-Well, the basic ideas were frequently his-
-You wrote Bill's scripts! Jesus Christ, you wrote his – what about before that?
-Before what?
-Well, Bill was ALWAYS the author, so to speak-
-What do you mean so to speak?! Audrey, how long have you been his... secretary?
-Barton, I think we should concentrate on OUR little project-
-I want to know how many of Bill's books you wrote!
-Barton!
-I want to know!
-Barton, honestly, only the last couple-
-Hah!
-And my input was mostly... EDITORIAL, really, when he'd been drinking-
-If I close m'eyes I can almost smell the live oak.
-That's hamburger grease, Bill.
-...This'll sometimes help.
-So now I'm s'posed to roll over like an ol' bitch dog gettin' ger belly scratched.
-M'honey pretends to be impatient with me, Barton, but she'll put up with anything.
-Am I? Maybe to a schoolboy's eye. People who know about the human heart, though, mebbe they'd say, Bill over here, he gives his honey love, and she pays him back with pity – the basest coin there is.
-Barton, I'm afraid it's not a good time-
-All right Barton, I'll see if I can slip away-
-I'll try to slip out. If he quiets down, passes out... I'm afraid he thinks – well, he said you were a buffoon, Barton. He becomes irrational–
-How d'ya like your room!
-...Who is this?
-Chet!
-...Who?
-...Hello.
-I write.
-Oh yeah? What kind of write?
-No, I – I didn't mean to sound –
-What DID you mean?
-How long you been up there, Fink?
-Ever talk to him?
-Yeah, he's funny that way.
-...No. I never saw him with anyone else.
-So. You talked to Mundt, what about?
-Well that's what he said.
-What else?
-Could you come back later? It's just... too hot... My head is killing me.
-I beg your pardon?
-W.P. Mayhew? The writer?
-Sir, I'm flattered that you even recognize my name. My God, I had no idea you were in Hollywood.
-...A little social lubricant, Mistuh Fink?
-It's still a little early for me.
-...Still, I must say. I haven't felt peace like this since the grand productive days. Don't you find it so, Barton? Ain't writin' peace?
-...No, I've always found that writing comes from a great inner pain. Maybe it's a pain that comes from a realization that one must do something for one's fellow man – to help somehow to ease his suffering. Maybe it's a personal pain. At any rate, I don't believe good work is possible without it.
-Look, maybe it's none of my business, but a man with your talent – don't you think your first obligation would be to your gift? Shouldn't you be doing whatever you have to do to work again?
-And what would that be, son?
-I don't know exactly. But I do know what you're doing with that drink. You're cutting yourself off from your gift, and from me and Audrey, and from your fellow man, and from everything your art is about.
-No son, thisahere moonshine's got nothin' to do with shuttin' folks out. No, I'm usin' it to build somethin'.
-What's that?
-I'll jus' walk on down to the Pacific, and from there I'll... improvise.
-I'm sorry, I just feel like –I know I shouldn't ask, I just need some kind of help, I just, I have a deadline tomorrow-
-Goddamn voices... DROWN 'EM!
-I'm a writer, Mr. Geisler. Ted Okum said I should drop by morning to see you about the –
-Ever act?
-...Huh? No, I'm –
-We need Indians for a Norman Steele western.
-I'm a writer. Ted O –
-Think about it, Fink. Writers come and go; we always need Indians.
-I'm a writer. Ted Okum said you're producing this Wallace Beery picture I'm working on.
-What!? Ted Okum doesn't know shit. They've assigned me enough pictures for a goddamn year. What Ted Okum doesn't know you could almost squeeze into the Hollywood Bowl.
-Don't worry about it. It's just a B picture. I bring it in on budget, they'll book it without even screening it. Life is too short.
-But Lipnik said he wanted to look at the script, see something by the end of the week.
-Sure he did. And he forgot about it before your ass left his sofa.
-Okay. I'm just having trouble getting started. It's funny, I'm blocked up. I feel like I need some kind of indication of... what's expected –
-...Look, you're confused? You need guidance? Talk to another writer.
-Wuddya got for me – what the hell happened to your face?
-Nothing. It's just a mosquito bite.
-Like hell it is; there are no mosquitos in Los Angeles. Mosquitos breed in swamps – this is a desert town. Wuddya got for me?
-Well I...
-On the Beery picture! Where are we? Wuddya got?
-Well, to tell you the truth, I'm having some trouble getting started–
-Getting STARTED! Christ Jesus! Started?! You mean you don't have ANYthing?!
-What do you think this is? HAMLET? GONE WITH THE WIND? RUGGLES OF RED GAP? It's a goddamn B picture! Big men in tights! You know the drill!
-I'm afraid I don't really understand that genre. maybe that's the prob-
-Understand shit! I though you were gonna consult another writer on this!
-Well, I've talked to Bill Mayhew-
-Bill Mayhew! Some help! The guy's a souse!
-He's a great writer –
-A souse!
-You don't understand. He's in pain, because he can't write-
-Souse! Souse! He manages to write his name on the back of his paycheck every week!
-But... I thought no one cared about this picture.
-I don't understand-
-Are you deaf, he LIKES you! He's taken an interest! What the hell did you say to him?
-I didn't say anything-
-Well he's taken an interest! That means he'll make your life hell, which I could care less about, but since I drew the short straw to supervise this turkey, he's gonna be all over me too! Fat-assed sonofabitch called me yesterday to ask how it's going – don't worry, I covered for you. Told him you were making progress and we were all very
-I can't write anything by tomorrow.
-Who said write? Jesus, Jack can't read. You gotta TELL it to him-tell him SOMEthing for Chrissake.
-I thought you were going to join us. Jesus, Garland, you left me alone with those people.
-We have to talk a little business. I've just been on the phone to Los Angeles. Barton, Capitol Pictures wants to put you under contract. They've offered you a thousand dollars a week. I think I can get them to go as high as two.
-To do what?
-What do you do far a living?
-I'm not sure anymore. I guess I try to make a difference.
-Fair enough. No pressure here, Barton, because I respect you, but let me point out a couple of things. One, here you make a difference to five hundred fifty people a night – if the show sells out. Eighty five million people go to the pictures every week.
-To see pap.
-Yes, generally, to see pap. However, point number two: A brief tenure in Hollywood could support you through the writing of any number of plays.
-I don't know, Garland; my place is here right now. I feel I'm on the brink of success-
-...I guess I'm sprouting off again. But I am certain of this, Garland: I'm capable of more good work. Maybe better work than I did in Choirs. It just doesn't seem to me that Los Angeles is the place to lead the life of mind.
-...Look, they love you, kid – everybody does. You see Caven's review in the Herald?
-No, what did it say?
-Barton? What time is it? Are you all right?
-Yeah, I'm fine, Garland – I have to talk to you. I'm calling long distance.
-...What is it Barton? Are you okay?
-I'm fine, garland, but I have to talk with you.
-Go ahead, son.
-It's about what I'm writing, Garland. It's really... I think it's really big.
-What do you mean, Barton?
-Not big in the sense of large – although it's that too. I mean important. This may be the most IMPORTANT work I've done.
-Well, I'm... glad to hear that –
-Very important, Garland. I just thought you should know that. Whatever happens.
-...That's fine.
-Have you read the Bible, Garland?
-...Barton, is everything okay?
-Yes... Isn't it?
-Sound a little what?
-Neighbor, I'd feel better about the damned inconvenience if you'd let me buy you a drink.
-That's all right, really, thank you.
-... You got a glass? It's the least I can do.
-Yeah, just a nip. I feel like hell, all the carryings-on next door.
-That's okay, I assure you. It's just that I was trying to work –
-What kind of work do you do, Barton, if you don't mind my asking?
-Well, I'm a writer, actually.
-You don't say. That's a tough racket. My hat's off to anyone who can make a go of it. Damned interesting work, I'd imagine.
-Can be. Not easy, but –
-And what's your line, Mr. Meadows?
-...In spite of what you might think from tonight, I'm pretty good at it.
-Doesn't surprise me at all.
-Hell yes. Because I believe in it. Fire, theft, and casualty are not things that only happen to other people – that's what I tell 'em. Writing doesn't work out, you might want to look into it. Providing for basic human need – a fella could do worse.
-Thanks, I'll keep it in mind.
-What kind of scribbler are you – newspaperman did you say?
-No, I'm actually writing for the pictures now –
-...Is the egg showing or what?!
-That's okay; actually I am just starting out in the movies – though I was pretty well established in New York, some renown there,
-That's okay, Charlie. I'm a playwright. My shows've only played New York. Last one got a hell of a write-up in the Herald. I guess that's why they wanted me here.
-Hell, why not? Everyone wants quality. What kind of venue, that is to say, thematically, uh...
-Caught me trying to be fancy! Yeah, that's it, Bart.
-Well, that's a good question. Strange as it may seem, Charlie, I guess I write about people like you. The average working stiff. The common man.
-Well ain't that a kick in the head!
-...I don't guess this means much to you.
-Hell, I could tell you some stories–
-And that's the point, that we all have stories. The hopes and dreams of the common man are as noble as those of any king. It's the stuff of life – why shouldn't it be the stuff of theater? Goddamnit, why should that be a hard pill to swallow? Don't call it new theater, Charlie; call it real theater. Call it our theater.
-I can see you feel pretty strongly about it.
-Well, I don't mean to get up on my high horse, but why shouldn't we look at ourselves up there? Who cares about the Fifth Earl of Bastrop and Lady Higginbottom and – and – and who killed Nigel Grinch-Gibbons?
-I can feel my butt getting sore already.
-Exactly, Charlie! You understand what I'm saying – a lot more than some of these literary types. Because you're a real man!
-And I could tell you some stories –
-Sure you could! And yet many writers do everything in their power to insulate themselves from the common man – from where they live, from where they trade, from where they fight and love and converse and – and – and... so naturally their work suffers, and regresses into empty formalism and – well, I'm spouting off again, but to put it in your
-Yeah, I guess that's tragedy right there.
-You're all right, Charlie. I'm glad you stopped by. I'm sorry if – well I know I sometimes run on.
-Hell no! Jesus, I'm the kind of guy, I'll let you know if I'm bored. I find it all pretty damned interesting. I'm the kind schmoe who's generally interested in the other guy's point of view.
-Sure, sure Charlie, you can help by just being yourself.
-...And look, I'm sorry as hell about the interruption. Too much revelry late at night, you forget there are other people in the world.
-Howdy, neighbor.
-Charlie. How are you.
-Jesus, I hope I'm not interrupting you again. I heard you walking around in here. Figured I'd drop by.
-Oh, yeah. An ear infection, chronic thing. Goes away for a while, but it always comes back. Gotta put cotton in it to staunch the flow of pus. Don't worry, it's not contagious.
-Ah, doctors. What's he gonna tell me? Can't trade my head in for a new one.
-Thanks, I'd invite you over to my place, but it's a goddamn mess. You married, Bart?
-Nope.
-...Got a sweetheart?
-No... I guess it's something about my work. I get so worked up over it, I don't know; I don't really have a lot of attention left over, so it would be a little unfair...
-My folks live in Brooklyn, with my uncle.
-...What's the expression – me myself and I.
-...It was taken by one of my policy holders. They're more than just customers to me, Barton. They really appreciate what I have to offer them. Ya see, her hubby was out of town at the time –
-...This must be boring you.
-Not at all. It's damned interesting.
-...Probably sounds a little grand coming from someone who's writing a wrestling picture for Wallace Beery.
-Beery! You got no beef there! He's good. Hell of an actor – though, for my money, you can't beat Jack Oakie. A stitch, Oakie. Funny stuff, funny stuff. But don't get me wrong – Beery, a wrestling picture, that could be a pip. Wrestled some myself back in school. I guess you know the basic moves.
-Nope, never watched any. I'm not that interested in the act itself –
-...You're a little out of your weight class, but just for purposes of demonstration –
-That's all right, really –
-...All right now, when I say "Ready... wrestle!" you try and pin me, and I try and pin you. That's the whole game. Got it?
-...Yeah, okay.
-It's okay, it's okay.
-I hope these are your shoes.
-Hi, Charlie.
-Because that would mean they gave you mine.
-Jesus, what a day I've had. Ever had one of those days?
-Jesus, what a day. Felt like I couldn't've sold ice water in the Sahara. Jesus. Okay, so you don't want insurance, so okay, that's your loss. But God, people can be rude. Feel like I have to talk to a normal person like just to restore a little of my...
-Well, my pleasure. I could use a little lift myself.
-...Did I say rude? People can be goddamn cruel. Especially some of their housewives. Okay, so I've got a weight problem. That's my cross to bear. I dunno...
-Well it's... it's a defense mechanism.
-...Listen to me belly-achin'. As if my problems amounted to a hill of beans. How goes the life of the mind?
-Well, it's been better. I can't seem to get going on this thing. That one idea, the one that lets you get started – I still haven't gotten it. Maybe I only had one idea in me – my play. Maybe once that was done, I was done being a writer. Christ, I feel like a fraud, sitting here staring at this paper.
-How did you know about that?
-Know about it? I can practically see how they're doin' it. Brother, I wish I had a piece of that.
-Yeah, but –
-...Ah, you'll lick this picture business, believe me. You've got a head on your shoulders. What is it they say? Where there's a head, there's a hope?
-And there's hope for you too, Charlie. Tomorrow I bet you sell a half-dozen policies.
-Thanks, brother. But the fact is, I gotta pull up stakes temporarily.
-You're leaving?
-In a few days. Out to your stompin' grounds as a matter of fact – New York City. Things have gotten all balled up at the Head Office.
-I'm truly sorry to hear that, Charlie. I'll miss you.
-...Your room does that too?
-I guess the heat's sweating off the wallpaper.
-...I guess it seems pathetic to a guy like you.
-Well...
-Well it's pathetic, isn't it? I mean to a guy from New York.
-What do you mean?
-This kind of heat. It's pathetic.
-Well, I guess you pick your poison.
-So they say.
-Don't pick up and leave without saying goodbye.
-...Can I come in?
-No!... I'm fine. Thank you.
-Are you sure –
-Barton. Are you all right?
-No... Can I come in?
-Why don't we go to your room-
-Get a grip on yourself, brother. Whatever the problem is, we'll sort it out.
-...Will you stay with me till they get here?
-...Jesus, Barton, what the hell is this? What're we gonna do?
-I've gotta call the police – or you could call for me –
-Hold on –
-You gotta believe me –
-Hold on –
-I didn't do this, I did NOT do this–
-Hold on. Stop. Take a deep breath. Tell me what happened.
-I believe you, brother, but this don't look good.
-We gotta call the police –
-Hold on. I said hold on, so hold on.
-Yeah.
-What do you think happened?
-I don't know! Maybe it was her... boyfriend. I passed out. I don't know. Won't the police be able to –
-Stop with the police! Wake up, friend! This does not look good! They hang people for this!
-But I didn't do it – don't you believe me?
-Jesus... They can tell that...
-They GOTTA believe me, Charlie! They gotta have mercy!
-...Uh-huh... Where's Audrey?
-Jesus... You're leaving.
-Jesus, Charlie, I...
-Everything's okay, believe me. I know it's rough mentally, but everything's taken care of.
-It's okay... It's okay...
-...I just don't know what... to do–
-You gotta get a grip on, brother. You gotta just carry on – just for a few days, till I get back. Try and stay here, keep your door locked. Don't talk to anyone. We just gotta keep our heads and we'll figure it out.
-Yeah, but Charlie –
-Sure, Charlie.
-It's more than I've got.
-You'll be back?
-...Don't look at me like that, neighbor. It's just me – Charlie.
-But Charlie – why me? Why –
-...Where did we put him?
-I'm at the Earle.
-Never heard of it. Let's move him to the Grand, or the Wilshire, or hell, he can stay at my place.
-Thanks, but I wanted a place that was less...
-To be honest, I don't go to the pictures much, Mr. Lipnik –
-That's okay, that's okay, that's okay – that's just fine. You probably just walked in here thinking that was going to be a handicap, thinking we wanted people who knew something about the medium, maybe even thinking there was all kind of technical mumbo- jumbo to learn. You were dead wrong. We're only interested in one thing: Can you tell a story, Bart? Can
-...Yes, thank you.
-...Well Bart, which is it? Orphan? Dame?
-Yeah... rye whiskey?
-...It's a tenement building. On the Lower East Side...
-Great! He's poor, this wrestler! He's had to struggle!
-...Can I be honest, Mr. Lipnik?
-I – Mr. Lipnik –
-Mr. Lipnik, I –
-I apologize, Barton.
-No no, Mr. Breeze has actually been a great help –
-You don't have to cover for him. It's noble of you, but these things happen in business.
-Mr. Lipnik, I really would feel much better if you could reconsider –
-Fink.
-Mr. Lipnik.
-...I was commissioned yesterday in the Army Reserve. Henry Morgenthau arranged it. He's a dear friend.
-Congratulations.
-Actually it hasn't officially gone through yet. Had wardrobe whip this up. You gotta pull teeth to get anything done in this town. I can understand a little red tape in peacetime, but now it's all-out warfare against the Japs. Little yellow bastards. They'd love to see me sit this one out.
-Yes sir, they –
-...I gotta tell you, Fink. It won't wash.
-With all due respect, sir, I think it's the best work I've done.
-Yes sir.
-I'm sorry if I let you down.
-You didn't let ME down. Or even Lou. We don't live or die by what you scribble, Fink. You let Ben Geisler down. He liked you. Trusted you. And that's why he's gone. Fired. That guy had a heart as big as the outdoors, and you fucked him. He tried to convince me to fire you too, but that would be too easy. No,
-Welcome to the Hotel Earle. May I help you, sir?
-F-I-N-K. Fink, Barton. That must be you, huh?
-Must be.
-...Are you a tranz or a rez?
-Excuse me?
-Transient or resident?
-I don't know... I mean, I'll be here, uh, indefinitely.
-Rez. That'll be twenty-five fifty a week payable in advance. Checkout time is twelve sharp, only you can forget that on account you're a rez. If you need anything, anything at all, you dial zero on your personal in-room telephone and talk to me. My name is Chet.
-Well, I'm going to be working here, mostly at night; I'm a writer. Do you have room service?
-...Okay
-Okey-dokey, go ahead.
-What –
-...Those your only bags?
-L.A.P.D.
-Jesus! Ain't that a load off! You live in 605?
-Is this multiple choice?
-...Yeah, he... he lives next door to me.
-What did... What did he –
-Charlie... Charlie's back...
-Sex?! He's a MAN! We WRESTLED!
-Got a couple questions to ask ya.
-Big fuckin' deal.
-You want my partner to kiss your ass?
-Yeah, and I'm Buck Rogers.
-His name is Mundt. Karl Mundt.
-Also known as Madman Mundt.
-Started in Kansas City. Couple of housewives.
-Couple of days ago we see the same M.O. out in Los Feliz.
-Doctor. Ear, nose and throat man,.
-All of which he's now missin'.
-Well, some of his throat was there.
-Physician, heal thyself.
-Good luck with no fuckin' head.
-Anyway.
-Hollywood precinct finds another stiff yesterday. Not too far from here. This one's better looking than the doc.
-Female caucasian, thirty years old. Nice tits. No head. You ever see Mundt with anyone meets that description?
-Yeah, and he's Buck Rogers.
-Ya know, Fink, ordinarily we say anything you might remember could be helpful. But I'll be frank with you: That is not helpful.
-Ya see how he's not writing it down?
-...I thought you said you were a writer.
-Second one of your friends to end up dead.
-Sixth floor too high for you, Fink?
-Tell us where the heads are, maybe they'll go easy on you.
-He teach you to do it?
-Why's it so goddamn hot out here?
-Mr. Fink hasn't given a preference, Mr. Lipnik.
-...Thanks Lou. Join us. Join us. Talking about the Wallace Beery picture.
-Excellent picture.
-We got a treatment on it yet?
-No, not yet Jack. We just bought the story. Saturday Evening Post.
-...Maybe we should do a treatment.
-Mr. Lipnik, I –
-Get down on your knees, you sonofabitch! Get down on your knees and kiss this man's feet!
-Yes, Colonel.
-Hell, I could take you through it step by step, explain why your story stinks, but I won't insult your intelligence. Well all right, first of all: This is a wrestling picture; the audience wants to see action, drama, wrestling, and plenty of it. They don't wanna see a guy wrestling with his soul – well, all right, a little bit, for the critics
-"Blood, Sweat, and Canvas".
-Okay. I went after him. I lost my temper.
-Do you have any evidence that he showed your psychiatric file to anyone?
-Where were you tonight?
-Home. Watching TV.
-All night?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, I was drinking.
-When did you start drinking again?
-There's no smoking in this building.
-Come on -- I'm going to storm into his office in front of everybody in the afternoon and then that night I'm going to kill him? I'd have to be really dumb to do that.
-I want you in Dr. Gardner's office at nine o'clock. You're out of control, Curran.
-We got a call from Berkeley P.D. There was a killing. A professor. Icepick. In his bed. Multiple stab wounds. 1977.
-Take care, you hear?
-Did you find out about her parents?
-You're on leave, man. You're on psycho leave. I'm talking to a possible whacko here.
-The boat blew. There was a leak in the gas line. There were two previous repairs. There was a five-mil policy on both of 'em. A real heavy investigation. Zilch. Goose-egg. It was an accident.
-I can get my butt kicked for this. You're not supposed to be in here.
-Hey, that's Dr. Gardner, isn't it?
-How are you, Nick?
-I'm fine. Come on, Beth! You know I'm fine! How the hell long do I have to keep doing this?
-As long as Internal Affairs wants you to, I suppose. Sit down, Nick.
-It's bullshit. You know it is.
-So -- how are things?
-How is your -- personal life?
-How about the booze?
-It's been three months.
-How about the coke?
-No.
-No?
-How's not smoking?
-It's fucked -- now will you please tell I.A. that I'm just you average healthy totally fucked-up cop and let me get out of here?
-Yes.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-What are you doing here?
-Baby-sitting. Rookie cop.
-What was she like?
-Who?
-Catherine Tramell.
-We were in some of the same classes.
-I need a cigarette.
-What are you talking about, Nick -- what's wrong with you?
-It's a confidential psychiatric record, it'd be illegal --She backs into a wall. She looks very scared. He comes very close to her -- puts an arm behind her to the wall.
-It's Internal Affairs, isn't it?
-No, Nick, please --
-Who?
-I don't owe you anything; you don't owe me anything. We went to bed -- what was it? -- ten or fifteen times? It wasn't memorable enough to carry any obligations.
-Sometimes I really hate you.
-You did it for me.
-It's the least I could do... considering I got you into this mess with those reports.
-How do you know Catherine Tramell saw my reports?
-She knows stuff about me that only you know.
-She must really be something. From a clinical point of view.
-What was she like in school?
-Beth. I didn't mean what I said. About --
-What is your problem? I'm trying to help you. Why won't you let me help you?
-I don't need any help.
-What is this interest you've got in her?
-My interest is in you, not in her. She seduces people, she manipulates --
-I thought you hardly know her.
-What do you want, Nick?
-She told you, didn't she?
-What did she tell me, Beth?
-I did dye my hair. It didn't have anything to do with her. I was a redhead for a while, too.
-Did you know Noah Goldstein?
-I had him in two classes.
-She's really sick you know. Don't you know what she's doing? She knows I went to Berkeley. She knows I knew Noah. She makes up that story about me. She's handing you somebody who's obsessed with he her.
-She didn't hand you to me. She doesn't even know who you are. She told me about Lisa Henderson.
-Why did you change your name?
-You should do something about this lock.
-What are you doing here?
-Put your fucking hands up! Don't move.
-Don't! I know about your husband. You still like girls, Beth?
-I'm De...
-How long were you dating him?
-How long were you having sex with him?
-About a year and a half.
-Were you with him last night?
-Yes.
-Did you leave the club with him?
-Yes.
-Did you go home with him?
-No. We had a drink at the club. We left together. I came here. He went home.
-Was there anyone with you last night?
-Ms. Tramell, we'd like you to come downtown and answer some questions for us.
-Are you arresting me?
-Do you always keep old newspapers around?
-Do you have a cigarette?
-I don't smoke.
-Yes, you do.
-I thought you were out of cigarettes.
-I told you -- I quit.
-What's your new book about?
-Did I miss something?
-I told them you wouldn't want to hide.
-But you said you liked men to use their hands.
-Writing a book about it gives you an alibi for not killing him.
-You like playing games, don't you?
-How did you feel when he died?
-How did you feel when I told you Johnny Boz had died -- that day at the beach.
-I felt somebody had read my book and was playing a game.
-But you didn't hurt --
-No.
-Because you didn't love him --
-Even though you were fucking him.
-Sure.
-I'm tired.
-If I were guilty, and if I wanted to beat that machine, it wouldn't be tiring. It wouldn't be tiring at all.
-Why not?
-I passed.
-How do you know all this stuff about me?
-You know all about me.
-I don't know anything that isn't police business.
-Am I... disturbing you?
-Would you like a drink? I was just going to have one.
-I'd like to ask you a few more questions.
-You tell me.
-It was an accident. They got in the line of fire.
-Four shootings in five years. All accidents.
-Tell me about Professor Goldstein.
-There's a name from the past.
-Noah was my counselor in my freshman year. That's probably where I got the idea for the icepick. For my book. Funny how the subconscious works. Hazel is my friend.
-She wiped out her whole family.
-Yes. She's helped me understand homicidal impulse.
-Didn't you study it in school?
-What happened, Nick? Did you get sucked into it? Did you like it too much?
-I didn't.
-How exactly did you hear?
-I have attorneys. They have friends. I have friends. Money buys you a lot of attorneys and friends.
-I don't know about that I don't have any money I don't have any attorneys Gus is my only real friend.
-I wasn't talking about real friends. Why doesn't Gus like me.
-I like you.
-Do you?
-You're not easy to figure. I'm just very good at figuring.
-Don't get too cocky.
-Why not?
-You can make a mistake.
-Jack Daniel's okay? It's gonna have to be.
-Fine.
-Ice?
-What did you pay Nilsen?
-What if I asked you not to call me Shooter?
-What if I call you Nicky?
-My wife used to call me that.
-Cheers. My friends call me Catherine.
-What did Bobby Vasquez used to call you?
-Bitch mostly, but he meant it affectionately. You don't have any coke, do you? I love coke and Jack Daniel's.
-There's Pepsi in the fridge.
-Say -- "What do you want from me, Catherine?"
-Aren't you going to thank me?
-What's it about?
-Why does he do it?
-When did you write it?
-You mean did I write it before my parents died?
-Yes.
-You're not going to stop following me around now just because you're on leave -- are you?
-No.
-Good. I'd miss you. You can get into trouble, though. You're not really a cop anymore.
-I'll risk it.
-Why take the risk?
-How's your new book?
-I'm leaving the house around midnight. In case you're going to follow me. I'm going down to Johnny's club.
-Maybe she saw something she didn't see before.
-Did you think it was so special?
-What did you think?
-How about Roxy? Is she a fuck to the century, too?
-How's your shoulder?
-Fine. How's your back?
-Are you kidding? You think this is my idea of morning-after conversation?
-I thought that business with the scarf was pretty nifty.
-You shouldn't play this game.
-You're in over your head.
-I should have known. I came into the house when you were down on the beach. She looked at me so strangely. She left right after you. I shouldn't have let her watch us. She wanted to watch me all the time. She tried to kill you, didn't she?
-Did you like her to watch?
-Do you think I told her to kill You?
-No.
-It's OK. It's OK.
-Do you think she killed Johnny Boz?
-For what... to set me up? She loved me she wouldn't frame me.
-Maybe she got jealous of Johnny Boz, too.
-I thought you didn't do adolescent secrets.
-No.
-No?
-You won't believe me.
-I paid him $50,000 in cash for your psychiatric file.
-When?
-About three months before I met you.
-I'd read about your shootings in the papers. I decided to write a book about a detective. I wanted to know my character.
-You paid $50,000 for your character?
-I would've paid more. I wanted to know everything about you. Then you came down here after Johnny got killed... it gave me a chance to get to know my character better.
-What about the other night. What about last night? Was that to get to know your character?
-Do you believe me?
-I don't know.
-What did he say?
-He asked if I had an icepick in me yet.
-Can I talk to you a minute?
-You like to hang out with murderers or what? Did you know Roxy --
-I just thought I'd surprise you. What's the matter?
-I found Lisa Henderson.
-You're not going to tell me what she's doing. I thought we weren't playing games anymore.
-You still think I kill people, don't you?
-No.
-How'd you get in here?
-I decided to give you one more chance. I missed you.
-You didn't not see me long enough to miss me.
-Did you miss me?
-No.
-I have to do some research tomorrow.
-I'm very good at research. I'll help you.
-No thanks.
-What are you researching?
-I'm writing a book.
-Really. What are you writing about.
-A detective. He falls for the wrong girl.
-What happens to them?
-They fuck like minks, raise rugrats, and live happily ever after.
-It won't sell.
-Why not?
-Somebody has to die.
-Why?
-I finished my book.
-How did it end?
-What do you want, Nick? Flowers? I'll send you some flowers.
-What is this -- some kind of... Joke? Are we playing games again?
-What do we do now, Nick?
-I hate rugrats.
-I'm John Corrigan. I'm an assistant district attorney, Ms. Tramell. Can we get you anything? Would you like some coffee?
-There is no smoking in this building, Ms. Tramell.
-Would you tell us the nature of your relationship with Mr. Boz?
-Did you ever engage in sado- masochistic activity with him?
-Exactly what do you have in mind, Mr. Corrigan.
-Did you ever tie him up?
-Did you kill Mr. Boz, Ms. Tramell?
-How did he die?
-He was murdered.
-I don't really feel like talking anymore.
-Listen, lady, we can do this downtown if you --
-You have the right to an attorney.
-You workin' on another book?
-Yes I am.
-It teaches you to lie.
-How's that?
-You make it up, but it has to be believable. They call it suspension of disbelief.
-The answer is no. I didn't kill him.
-Do you use drugs, Ms. Tramell?
-What kind of drugs?
-In the beginning. Then I got to like what he did for me.
-That's pretty cold, ain't it, lady?
-He was walking home from work. They only lived a coupla blocks from the clinic. Somebody drove by and shot him.
-What was the weapon?
-.38 revolver. Never recovered.
-Were there ever any suspects?
-No suspects, no motive. Unsolved.
-Was his wife ever a suspect?
-I had another one of you guys down here from Frisco -- about a year ago -- he asked me the same question. What's this about anyway?
-Routine.
-Yeah, he said it was routine too. Now it's two guys saying it's routine.
-Do you remember his name?
-Nope, can't say that I do.
-Nilsen?
-Was she ever a suspect?
-Nope. There was some talk; it never panned.
-What kind of talk?
-The usual -- a girlfriend.
-He had a girlfriend?
-Nope. She did. Like I say. It never panned.
-Thanks.
-I hope I helped you out.
-Who was this fuckin' guy?
-Rock and roll, Gus. Johnny Boz.
-I never heard of him.
-Before your time, pop. Mid-sixties. Five or six hits. He's got a club down in the Fillmore now.
-Talcott doesn't usually show up at the office 'till after his 18 holes. What are they nervous about?
-Ain't that cute? They got his and her Pig-assos, son.
-I didn't know you knew who Picasso was, Gus.
-How'd it go, son?
-She misses me.
-What you doin', son?
-Ain't you go nothin' better to do than to come in here and jack off the damn machine?
-What are you doing here, Pop?
-Was she ever suspect?
-Do you remember a case -- 1956 -- Hazel Dobkins?
-What's goin' down, son?
-No, sir. You won't. There's smoke off yonder on the horizon. They're gonna want your badge.
-I got tired of being played with.
-She knows where I live and breathe. She's coming after me.
-What is it you got between you?
-I don't know.
-You think I --
-I don't think it's funny.
-Forgive me for askin', son, and I don't mean to belabor the obvious, but why is it that you've got your head so far up your own ass?
-She want to play? Fine. I can play.
-Everybody that she plays with dies.
-Easy there, partner -- I wasn't there.
-I went over last night, too.
-You... fucked her! Goddamn dumb sonofabitch... You fucked her! Goddamn, you are one dumb sonofabitch --
-I'm not gonna get AIDS, pop --don't worry about it. I always use a rubber.
-I don't give a... flyin'... chili- bean... fart about AIDS!
-You oughta use a rubber, pop. You really should.
-What in the hell for? You think I'm gettin' any at my age? I don't like blue-haired women. I don't like 'em.
-You don't like punk rockers?
-You feeling better?
-I'm not afraid of her.
-Why the hell not?
-I don't know. I'm just not.
-It doesn't make sense. She didn't know me three months ago.
-You all right, pop? You want me to drive you?
-In that little pissant car of yours? Hell, no. I ain't gettin' no back pain disability retirement -- I'm gettin' me a full pension and a real gold-plate Seiko watch.
-Come on, I'll drive you in this thing.
-Catherine says you don't like her.
-You know that stuff they say about how you can judge people by their friends?
-I don't believe it.
-Why not?
-I don't understand what the hell's going on here, pop.
-I'm not sure anymore she did it.
-So Nilsen had a report on her -- so what. You don't know what the hell was in it?
-Catherine told me what was in it.
-If she's telling you the truth.
-Don't you get it, Gus? If Beth killed Johnny Boz to frame Catherine -- she wouldn't want anyone to know what happened at Berkeley. It gives her the motive to kill Nilsen.
-How did she know Nilsen knew about it -- if it happened?
-She'd have to be nuttier than a twenty-pound Christmas fruitcake. She's not the one who hangs out with multiple murderers -- your girlfriend is.
-She's a writer -- it's part of what she does.
-Goddamn writers -- all they do is use up trees and ruin people's eyes. There's gotta be somebody at Berkeley who knows what the hell happened.
-I know what happened. Catherine told me what happened.
-Where the hell you goin'?
-I'm going with you.
-Maybe the maid did it.
-Not unless she got up in the ring and turned into one mean sonofabitch.
-Maybe it's for old-time's sake.
-Sometimes I think he started banging her just to get himself off the hook with Internal Affairs.
-He ain't that way. He's got heart.
-You look like dogshit.
-You're already gettin' psychological input, son.
-Homicide.
-What do you want?
-When was the last time you saw John Boz?
-Were you with him last night?
-What was the motive?
-He left the club with his girlfriend about midnight. That's the last time anybody saw him.
-Keep your three o'clock.
-Do you want me to work the case, Phil, or do you want me to --
-Are you kidding me?
-I love it. She's got a hundred million bucks. She fucks fighters and rock and roll stars. And she's got a degree in screwing with peoples' heads.
-So what do we do -- nothing?
-What is all this "Nick" stuff -- Nick would you like a cigarette. Nick can you give me a ride.
-She didn't ask me for the ride. She asked anybody.
-You sure?
-Now what?
-What now what? Now nothing. She passed the polygraph. That's it.
-She knew she could beat it. That's why she asked to take it.
-How the fuck do you know? What is it with you and this broad anyway?
-Come on, Phil. You're not gonna let this slide. What about her parents? What about what else she's published? At least we should get the stuff to see if we find anything else that's an amazing real-life coincidence.
-Her parents died in an accident. I don't care what else she's written. What are you -- a book critic?
-How did they die? Was there an investigation?
-Fuck you, Phil.
-Gus -- go over to Berkeley. Harrigan -- find out what else she's published. Andrews -- get the files on her parents' accident. Carbon Beth on everything. I want some psychological input on this Andrews and Harrigan go; Nick is left there with Gus.
-I'll ask you once, Nick -- for the record did you kill him?
-I.A.'s going to talk to you more about Nilsen. They're handling the investigation, we're not. Stay in touch with Dr. Gardner, it'll help on the evaluation.
-She killed him.
-Beth? Now you've got Beth killing people?
-Catherine Tramell. It's part of her game.
-First you've got her buying your file. Now you've got her killing Nilsen. Forget her, willya? Go someplace. Sit in the sun. Get away from this goddamn fog. Get her out of your system.
-Tell me again. I want to hear you say it again.
-It was an accident.
-You're driving around North Beach for no particular reason and this car won't get out of the way --
-I don't think she meant to go off the hill, do you?
-You knew her, didn't you?
-Gus and I talked to her at Tramell's house. All we did was write her name down.
-I told you to stay away from Tramell.
-She's a suspect.
-On what basis?
-She's got enough money to burn this whole department down.
-She was the last person seen with the guy -- I'll take the responsibility.
-We know you're not stupid, Ms. Tramell.
-We're sorry to disturb you, we'd like to ask you some --
-Why do you think he's dead?
-Who are you?
-How old was she when this happened?
-Anderson. Jack W. Donald M. I'm sorry. No Lisa.
-Did you check all four years?
-Yes I did.
-No Lisa Anderson, detective.
-Can there be some mistake?
-He died -- about five or six years ago.
-My name is Jean Michel Basquiat. Have you heard of me?
-No. Should I have?
-I'm a painter, too.
-Hey – it's the big A.M..
-Is this finished yet?
-I don't know.
-When's your show?
-Not sure. How was yours?
-What do you think?
-I like the one with the dragon's heads a lot. But the black one's filled up with too many heads... I'd take some of them out. I think you're painting too fast. I wouldn't put in so many heads. Let it breathe a bit.
-It's always how you would do it. This is my version.
-You're right. It's your version. You should come over to the studio sometime.
-Why, so you could humiliate me?
-Naa..
-Let's get out of here.
-This is painted on a backdrop from the Kabuki theater in Japan. I painted it after Joseph Beuys died. A rebirth painting. I felt like he could've painted it, or maybe someone else was painting it instead of me. The Chinese calligraphers used to change their name mid-career so they could start over as someone else..
-Do you ever get sick of it?
-Of what?
-The whole thing – painting.
-No. It's one of the few times I feel good. I used to have to go to work and cook every day. That I got sick of.
-What about the shit they write?
-You're asking me this because of the 'lapdog' remark. I read that. The person that wrote that has the compassion of a housefly. That's your enemy, not your audience. Your audience hasn't even been born yet. It's a lie that art is popular. The only thing popular about it is that it's written about in newspapers. I'm surprised when anybody comes to my openings.
-I haven't felt like talking to him since that thing came out.
-Nixon lives in Saddle River, New York.
-Saddle River's in New Jersey.
-Saddle River, New York!
-It's in New Jersey.
-New York.
-I think it's in New Jersey.
-It's in New York.
-You wanna buy some ignorant art? Ten bucks.
-Ignorant art?
-Yeah... Like – stupid, ridiculous, crummy art.
-Ohhh. That's new. That sounds good.
-Ten bucks apiece.
-I can give you five. You didn't do very much to these.
-Andy, man, thanks for coming. I'd like to paint your jacket.
-Jean Michel, this is Mary Boone. She's got the great new gallery.
-I wish they'd quit writing this shit about me.
-That's good. At least they're interested.
-Everybody's paying top dollar for scraps of paper, refrigerator doors – anything with a SAMO tag on it. The other day, I just wanted a pack of cigarettes, so I did a drawing and sold it for two bucks. A week later this gallery calls me up: "Somebody's offering us the drawing. Should we buy it for five thousand?"
-Wow... Stop giving them away. I got an invitation to model for Comme de Garcons... You wanna do it with me?
-Yeah – I'd do that... You could teach me.
-Cool.
-Let's leave this town and go someplace. Some island.
-Ouch..
-What's wrong?
-That girl looks just like my old girlfriend Gina.
-Do you still love her?
-Yeah. I really blew it. I still think about her.
-What's with the wigs?
-I'm going to send them to my friends for Christmas presents.
-Piss painting?
-I wanted to make a few more of these. Frank's been drinking this Mexican beer. It makes a good green.
-How come you're not peeing on them yourself?
-That was my favorite part!
-I don't even have any friends anymore besides you. And everyone says "Warhol? That death-warmed over person on drugs? He's just using you."
-Gee. You shouldn't take it so seriously, Jean. That's why you can't stop taking drugs. You always think people don't like you. Everyone likes you.
-Bruno called. In Europe, people are saying you're gonna die from drugs. They think they can cash in on your death.
-After the show we should take a nice long vacation. Maybe go to Hawaii. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to give up painting and start playing music again. I wanna sing.
-Who is it?
-Annina Nosei.
-Is Jean Michel here?
-These are great.
-Aren't they?
-How much for these five?
-I'm interested in showing Jean's work.
-No.
-I'd love to see some more of your work... Where's your studio?
-You name it, I paint there.
-Well, I don't want to get mugged on a Bowery street corner. Maybe I could find a place for you to work. Take my card.
-When?
-Tom and Cynthia Kruger.
-Jean, your parents are here.
-It's great that people are interested, but if anyone's going to buy anything, I'll handle it for you. Everything goes through the gallery, even if they come to your studio.
-Chill, man! Be cool! This isn't even my apartment!
-Oh man, you a FINE nigga! You know that?
-Who did this? Who did this?
-Naaaa. Poor thing has a little dick.
-How do you know?
-MOTHAFUCKAH!
-That's the same guy who did this painting.
-It doesn't matter how much you worked on them. It matters how much you can get for them.
-You shouldn't have put it in the show. This is the one I absolutely have to have. I really love it.
-Do you think I could borrow your limousine? I'll get it back to you in an hour.
-B.B. It's me – Jean! What's the matter? No snow in Switzerland this year?
-I didn't see you.
-What do you mean?
-I hear your show was sold out already. There's a very important collector who's interested in some of your works.
-Jean Michel... Crawling from the wreckage?
-I need a dealer.
-Bruno spoke to me already. We could talk about it.
-I'm here.
-What is it that gets you out of bed in the morning?
-... Can you... decipher this for us?
-Decipher?
-Yes. What do they... stand for?
-They're just words.
-Yes, I understand – but where do you take them from?
-Where? Do you ask Miles where he got that note from? Where do you take your words from? Everywhere.
-What are they?
-Leeches. A long list of leeches. It looks good like that.
-Hmmm. And 'Parasites.' You seem to be a Primal Expressionist.
-A primate?
-Well, you said that. You've got a lot of references from Leonardo da Vinci, don't you?
-Oh, that's a "Leonardo's Greatest Hits" painting. You like it?
-Yes, but as a black painter –
-I use a lot of colors – not only black.
-What?
-I'm not black.
-You're not?
-Not what?
-Not black.
-Yes, yes... Let's talk about that.... your roots... Your father is from Haiti, isn't he?
-Yup.
-Hmmmm. Interesting. And when you grew up were there any primitives hanging in your home?
-We don't hang them at home, y'know – just in the streets..
-I see.. And... How do you respond to being called – hmmm... – yes, "the pickaninny of the art world."
-Who said that?
-Why, that's from Time Magazine.
-No, he said I was the Eddie Murphy of the art world. He said the Eddie Murphy.
-Or rather, do you think you're being exploited or are you yourself exploiting the white image of the black artist from the ghetto?
-Are those the only two possibilities? You wanna French fry?
-OK. One last thing. Is there any anger in you? Any anger in your work?
-Should there be?
-Would you like to see the wine list?
-I'm sorry, Mr. Basquiat.
-Yeah, just put their bill on my tab.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-Paint it out.
-Out?
-It's Andy again.
-Still not here.
-– In this corner?
-You want me to put it here?
-It's Maria Portos. What should we do?
-Why don't you try letting her in, Steve – I mean Shenge.
-Get up. She won't buy anything if she sees me working on it!
-Blue? Where?
-Hey – Willie Mays.
-Who's that?
-The Devil, man. Rene Ricard. Art critic – writes for Artforum. People read him. Tell him who you are..
-Who am I?
-SAMO.
-"She loves me. Oh yeah she loves me! She loooooooves me, Oh yeah she loves me!" Bring me some chicken, baby!
-Would you shut the fuck up? You hear what I'm doing?
-I knew I left these somewhere. One of these'll send your kids to college someday. Here – I made this for you.
-You got a date already?
-Come on, Jean. Get rid of your cigarette. Concentrate.
-I am... On Gina. Fuck – I didn't think we were actually gonna do this.
-You're shattering all my myths.
-About what?
-Your people.
-Whatever. Famous. To where you can do your stuff all day without thinking about anything else.
-Famous people are usually pretty stupid. You're too smart. You'd get bored to death. You don't wanna be like John Henry – fighting the machine. Just do what you do. It's about integrity. Follow your heart.
-Who's John Henry?
-Oh man! Folklore guy – worked on the railroad. Y'know, pounding in spikes and laying down track. Then one day they invented a machine to do it. And he says "Fuck that, I'm a MAN" and he challenges the machine to a race to lay down a mile of track. It takes two days. Neck and neck the whole time. They get right to
-So then what?
-What're you doing? You're doing something.
-He's the best painter in the world. I'm gonna give him one of these.
-Check you later, man.
-Willie Mays!!! Willie Mays!!!
-We got beat.
-You gonna carry that around all night?
-What's the rush, John Henry?
-I ain't John Henry.
-Good.
-I don't really have any problems.
-Good. What do you have?
-What's your fuckin' problem? You get a girlfriend and a little attention and then start acting all uppity with me.
-That's not how I meant it. For all you know, you might just be a flash in the pan! You can never tell.
-She's good.
-I guess it was a long time ago.
-Sit down! You're gonna fall out!
-Me fall? Let's get some drugs!
-Drugs??!
-No, don't tell me – you just got fired by your crazy boss.
-I guess you did.
-Guess I just got sick of him.
-Can I walk you home?
-Have you been camping? You could use a scrub.
-You do! You definitely do.
-Just come to the Mudd Club on Friday.
-I don't go there. Too many party girls.
-Party girls? Can I call you?
-I thought you hated this place?
-Wanna go get some breakfast?
-Basquiat, those are my best clothes!!! What are you doing?
-C'mon, baby, I painted them for you. They're beautiful now.
-... I'll buy you some new ones.
-Do you know what he's saying?
-What who's saying?
-... What's the matter?
-Oh, God, Basquiat, you scared the shit out of me. How the fuck could you do that to yourself?
-You're back.
-It's Monday morning.
-It's not Sunday? I missed you. You shouldn't leave me alone.
-You're blaming me? I had to go see my family.
-I'm your family.
-Basquiat, don't lie. This is smack.
-You look fucking beautiful, beautiful.
-Which island of Hawaii do you want our house to be on? Maui? Kaui? Molokai?
-I hadn't thought about it.
-Oahu, Lanai, Niihau, Kahoolawee –
-It looks done.
-... babies.
-You mean babies with you?
-What's wrong with me?
-Hi.
-Hi.
-What's that?
-So are you really friends with Andy? He seems like such a weirdo.
-He's not. He's out of town and he calls me every day. What's weird about him?
-Don't you think he's using you?
-So. Are you ready? I start Columbia next fall. Of course, there's like, a year of pre-med stuff, but – whatever. I'm really excited. And: Rene gave me a job as his secretary. His poems are getting published.
-How is he?
-Wow. Congratulations. I hate that asshole. Thanks for coming. I guess I just wanted to find out how you're –
-What's that about?
-That is amazing. What year is it?
-Baby, I think about you a lot. I'm really sorry about everything. You have to believe me. I'm serious. I wish, y'know, that we were –
-You don't have to be sorry. There's no one to blame. Jean, you're a real artist. I thought I was one. You made me realize I wasn't.
-I'll take three big Macs, two chocolate shakes, two orders of fries, and an apple pie.
-Forget it .I'll take six, no, seven chocolate shakes, an order of fries, a Big Mac, and two apple pies.
-Is that the best quality you have?
-Yeah, it's the best one.
-I'll take the whole tin.
-It's three thousand dollars!
-I really... admire you.
-Me? Why?
-You did it! You made it. I'm a painter, too.
-That's great.
-Would you check out my studio some time?
-What's your name, man?
-They call me Steve, but I prefer Shenge.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-I've seen you before. I like your paintings a lot. Your hair was different.
-You like your dad's paintings?
-Some of them.
-See you later.
-How can I ever thank you?
-Come on.
-Wanna Mac?
-No, I'd like the scarf.
-Have a Mac.
-I don't eat junk food.
-Oh. I didn't know. I'll take you to the best restaurant in town. You'll miss a great meal and I'll keep the scarf, anyway. What's your name?
-You're a fast mover.
-That's a beautiful name. French?
-What? Wait a minute... talk to me.
-Life doesn't... make... sense. This city's k-killing me. I want my liquid hijack Marlboros!
-What? Life's beautiful. Depression isn't permanent. Don't you believe that? What is it – did your girlfriend leave you?
-You see? You have someone to live for.
-No, I don't. I'm alone. We all are. Especially here. The world's unjust. The respect fools get. The disrespect I get.
-What is it you want? Respect? I have respect for you, just for making this call. One philosopher said "Sadness is a sin against the richness of the world." Think about it. Feel it.
-What? What do you want?
-You heard of Albert Milo. I made that niggah. I'm Rene Ricard. Didn't you read "Not About Albert Milo?" I know who to hype. Baby, I'm gonna make you a star.
-Can you put me in the ring with him?
-I can put you in the ring with him. Even book the dates. But those big boys know how to fight. They could make you look real sissy. I was looking at that painting upstairs. It's the first time a picture made me embarrassed to own anything. So what's your real name? 'Samo?'
-Uh huhh... Band practice? It's Benny. He wants to know why you're not at band practice...?
-Fuck band practice... If you're gonna be a painter you're gonna have to break a few hearts – you don't wanna be like Tony Bennett..
-Tony Bennett... What do you mean?
-Singing on stage and painting in your spare time.
-I didn't know Tony Bennett painted.
-So keep painting.
-Yes, Boss. If you're so smart, why are you here with me in this basement?
-You're news. I want the scoop. I write it down. When I speak, no one believes me. But when I write it down, people know it's true. There's never been a black painter in art history that's been considered really important, you know?
-So what?
-So shut up and keep painting..
-What time is it?
-That one's for you.
-Thanks... I'll take it tonight.
-You fucking little whore! You sold my painting! I'm gonna tell you something, brother – when you're climbing up the ladder of success, don't kick out the rungs! Believe that shit.
-I'll make you another one.
-Hey, Rene.
-Jean, could you get me a Phillips screwdriver?
-A what?
-A Phillips head. From the toolbox.
-'Phillips head,' right?
-You don't have any!!!
-Jean? Hold this, please. You'll get there. But it's good to have something to fall back on. That's why I became an electrician. It pays the rent. Y'know, I'm an artist, too.
-I didn't know.
-OK! Goodbye!
-Pipe down, Lech. Let him order.
-You nuts? Let him order? You on his side? You're not such a good waitress. You get out, too.
-I just don't think you're being fair.
-I need this?
-YO! Jean, this is Ramellzee.
-Yo... You know why Rammellzee's here, don't you?
-Uh-oh!
-Man, I was up on him years ago on the IRT.
-You're selling and ending the culture. Not one bit of information. Only to get the money and growl with the power, man.
-Mr. Wayne ... Something wrong?
-It's cold.
-It's vichyssoise, sir.
-I suppose you feel better now, sir.
-Sorry, Alfred, I have to get to the Plaza. You heard Penguin, he was practically begging me to show.
-Which is why I hoped you'd snub him.
-'Fraid I can't. There's been a kidnapping ... Tell Selina ... Ms. Kyle ... that some business came up -- no, tell her some major deal fell through, she'll feel sorry ... No, no, here's what to do, just tell her ... let her know that I ... not in a dumb "Be my girlfriend way," but --
-I will relay the message.
-Selina ... more facets than Vicki, huh? Funny, but sort of mysterious...
-"Affair" ... yes, maybe ... if she ...
-Mr. Wayne ... a reminder: Tonight is that loathsome party, hosted by that odious Mr. Shreck. May we RSVP in the resoundingly negative?
-I'm tempted, but ... well ... it is an occasion for celebration, and ... umm ... Selina will probably be there ...
-Ah. "Who", may I ask, are you going "as"?
-I guess this mean we won.
-Well ... Come what may... Merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne.
-Where's the fire?
-How could you? I'm a woman...
-As I was saying: I'm a woman, and can't be taken for granted. Are you listening, you Batman you?
-Hanging on every word.
-A "he-man"? Sure. They shine that beacon in the sky, then wonder what hole I crawl out of.
-Wow, a real response and you're not even trying to get into my tights. But explain me ... If you're so down on "them" out there, why bust your bat-buns to protect 'em?
-I can't sleep either, lately. A little link, between us. But bottom line baby, you live to preserve the peace, and I'm dying to disturb it. That could put a strain on our relationship.
-Hey stud: I thought we had something together.
-A kiss under the misteltoe. Mistletoe can be deadly, if you eat it ...
-You're the second man who killed me this week. But hey, no prob ... I've got seven lives left.
-I tried to grab you -- save you --
-First you're gonna shut up. Then you're gonna turn yourself in.
-Don't be naive. The law doesn't apply to people like him! Or us --
-Admiring your handiwork?
-Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.
-You're not the Mayor.
-Once you were their freak, now these clowns do your bidding. Must feel pretty good.
-Better than you know, Bat-boy.
-What're you really after?
-Ah, the direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask. But you don't really think you'll ever win, playing it your way ..?
-I think you're jealous that I'm a genuine freak, and you have to wear a mask!
-We've met.
-Sorry. I mistook me for somebody else.
-You mean mistook <u>me</u>?
-Didn't I say that?
-You don't seem like the type who does business with Mr. Shreck.
-No. And you don't seem like the type who takes orders from him.
-Well that's a ... long story ...
-Well, I could ... free up some time...
-I'm listed.
-Pouring myself into my work.
-I, ah ... didn't catch your last name.
-Selina. Hi. Didn't mean to --
-Scare me? No, actually, I was just scaring myself ...
-I don't see how ... Anyway, it's a treat to find you out in the world, away from Ebeneezer Shreck.
-The news these days ... weird. People looking to superheroes for their peace of mind, and blaming their problems on super-villains ... instead of themselves, or their spouses at least.
-And it's not even accurate ... I mean, "Batman Blows It"? The guy probably prevented <u>millions</u> in property damage.
-You're not coming to that, are you? "The Relighting of the Tree" thing?
-I wouldn't be caught dead. No, it's probably how I would be caught. The Mayor stupidly took Cobblepot's bait --
-You almost sound enthusiastic.
-I detest violence, but ... Christmas complacency can be a downer, too.
-You've got a dark side, Selina Kyle.
-No darker than yours, Bruce.
-Well, I'm... braver at night, if that's what you mean...
-... Maybe I'll watch it on TV.
-"We"? You and...
-... and me. No, that's be me and me. Is that what I said?
-I'm sure he's wonderful company and all, but ... doesn't the gold- plated bachelor bit get a little ... stale?
-Somewhat like the lonesome secretary syndrome, I'd suppose.
-Executive Assistant. Secretary. Girlfriend?
-Had one. Didn't work.
-What went wrong? Hang on, I think I know ... You kept things from her.
-Nope, I told her everything.
-And the truth frightened her?
-Well ... How can I put this. There were two truths ... and she had trouble reconciling them. Because <u>I</u> had trouble reconciling them. Vicki said.
-"Vicki." Ice-skater, or stewardess?
-Photojournalist.
-Well? Was "Vicki" right? About your difficulty with duality?
-It's the so-called "normal" guys who always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're commited.
-I, ah ... never fool around on the first date.
-Nor I, on the second.
-Sorry about yesterday ... Some big deal came together, no, fell through, and --
-'S'okay, I had to go home, feed my cat.
-There's a big, comfy California King over in Bedding. What say we ...
-Y'mean take off our costumes?
-Guess I'm sick of wearing masks ...
-Same here. So why'd you come tonight?
-Now don't give me a killing-Max- won't-solve-anything speech, because it will. Aren't you tired of this sanctimonious robber baron always coming out on top? When he should be six feet under?
-Jesus, Selina, you're not the judge <u>or</u> the jury... I mean, just who do you think you <u>are</u>?
-A kiss under the mistletoe. Mistletoe can be deadly, if you eat it ...
-... What do we do?
-Hmm. Primitive ventilation.
-Damn those Carny bolsheviks the other night, throwing bricks at my windows --
-No. No glass on the inside.
-I'd offer you coffee, but my assistant is using her vacation time.
-If my life has had any meaning, that's the meaning.
-Max, I'm gonna fight you on this. The Mayor and I have already spoken and we see eye to eye here. So --
-Mayors come and go. And heirs tire easily. Really think a flyweight like you could last fifteen rounds with Muhammed Shreck.
-Not compared to that "Cobblepot" person you're promoting...
-Scared of Oswald, are you? Why, if his parents hadn't eighty- sixed him you two might've been roomies, at prep school!
-"Oswald" is linked to the Red Triangle Gang. I can't prove it but we both know it's true.
-What happened?
-Ingenious costume. Let me guess ... Trust-fund goody-goody?
-Course you're feeling fine ... You almost made a monster the Mayor of Gotham City.
-I am the light of this city. <u>And</u> I am its mean, twisted soul. Does it really matter who's the "mayor"?
-It does to me.
-I don't know what you want, but I know I can get it for you with a minimum of fuss. Money, jewels, a very big ball of string...
-Your blood, Max.
-My blood? I ... I gave at the office.
-Let's make a deal. <u>Other</u> than my blood, what can I off--
-Sorry, Max. A die for a die.
-Selina! Selina Kyle!? You're fired! And Bruce -- Bruce Wayne! Why are you dressed up as Batman?
-He <u>is</u> Batman, you moron.
-You killed me, Batman killed me, Penguin killed me. Three lives down. Got enough bullets to finish me off?
-I'll warm ya! I got hot mitts --!
-Down, Oswald. We have to talk. You see we've got something in common.
-Appetite for destruction? Contempt for the czars of fashion? Wait don't tell me ... Naked sexual charisma?
-Batman. The thorn in both our sides, the fly in our ointment.
-Are you perchance a registered voter? I'm also a mayoral prospect.
-I have but one pet cause, today: Ban The Bat.
-We're gonna disassemble his spiffy old Batmobile, then reassemble it as an H-bomb on wheels. Capiche? Yesterday's victor is tomorrow's vapor.
-Y'mean frame him?
-Thanks. Jeez. Not used to this man-woman, cat-mouse business. Generally the babes flock to me, I tell 'em take a number.
-He napalmed my arm. He knocked me off a building just when I was starting to feel good about myself. I want to play an integral part in his degradation.
-Well, a plan <u>is</u> forming ... A vicious one, involving the loss of innocent life ...
-Let's consummate our fiendish union!
-I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.
-I oughta have you spayed! You sent out all the signals!
-Me, domesticated? By you? I doubt it! You repulsive... awful... <u>penguin</u>.
-Son!
-I ... it was terrible, I leaned over, and accidentally knocked her, out --
-She jumped. She'd been depressed.
-Yes. <u>Yes</u>. Boyfriend trouble ..?
-You buy this "blurry" business?
-Ten, nine...
-The Christmas Eve of Destruction -- !
-... eight, seven...
-Silent night, violent night...
-Well, um... funny thing, your penguins... they're not responding to the launch command. Fact they're kind of turned around now... Like someone jammed our signal...
-But who could've ... no, don't say it.
-Actually this is all just a bad dream. You're home in bed. Heavily sedated, resting comfortably, and dying from the carcinogens you've personally spewed in a lifetime of profiteering. Tragic irony or poetic justice? You tell me.
-My god ... it's true. The Penguin- Man of the sewers ... Please, don't h--
-What, is that supposed to "hypnotize" me?
-No, just give you a splitting headache.
-Most of all, I want to find out who I am. By finding my parents. Learning my "human" name. Simple stuff that the good people of Gotham take for granted.
-Yawn. That coulda come from anywhere.
-What about the documents that prove you own half the firetraps in Gotham?
-A lot of tape and a little patience make all the difference. By the way, how's Fred Adkins, your old partner?
-You know what, Mr. ... Penguin-Sir? I think perhaps I could help orchestrate a little welcome-home scenario for you. And once we're both back home, perhaps we can help each other out ...
-Don't look, Oswald. It's a surprise.
-Bu ... wh ... I ... I mean ...
-Yes, adulation is a cross to bear. God knows <u>I</u> know. But someone's got to supplant our standing-in- the-way-of-progress Mayor and don't deny it, Mr. Cobblepot, you've got the magic!
-Wonder if it's worth my time.
-We need signatures. To overturn the ballot. I can supply those, Oswald.
-I could teach her my "French flipper" trick...
-Oswald: We need one more thing.
-A platform? Lemme see ... Stop global warming. Start global cooling. Make the world a colder place. <u>Frigid</u> ...
-That's fine, Oswald. But to get the Mayor recalled, we still need a catalyst, a trigger, an incident. Like the Reichstag fire, the Gulf of Tonkin.
-Precisely. But they must come and go via the plumbing ducts that I've provided. That shall be as sacred as the separation between church and state.
-I got my own ... <u>quest</u> to pursue up here. It's crucial I not get sidetracked, with some silly ...
-Sidetracked? Oswald, this is your chance to fulfill a destiny that your parents carelessly discarded ...
-Reclaim my birthright, y'mean?
-He didn't even lose a limb, an eyeball ... bladder control ..
-Max! Relax! Josh and Jen'll put a spin on this. We'll talk it over tonight, at your costume par--
-You're coming with me, you Great White Dope! To die, way down in the sewer!
-Not Chip! Please! Penguin ... If you have one iota of human feeling, you'll take me instead.
-I don't. So, no.
-I'm the one you want! Penguin, please! Ask yourself: Isn't it Max Shreck who manipulated and betrayed you? Isn't it Max, not Chip, whom you want to see immersed up to his eyeballs in raw sewage?
-Working late? I'm touched.
-Why, how industrious. And how did you open protected files, may I ask?
-Big giant <u>capacitor</u>. And that, instead of generating power it'll sort of be -- -- <u>sucking</u> power, from Gotham City, and storing it ... stockpiling it, sort of? Which, unless I'm being dense, is a novel approach, I'd say.
-... Where did curiosity get the cat?
-I'm no cat. I'm just an assistant. A <u>secretary</u> --
-And a very, very good one.
-It's our secret. Honest. How can you be so mean to someone so meaningless?
-Okay, go ahead. Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean, it's not like you can just kill me.
-Selina?! Selina ... Selina ...
-That's my name, Maximillions. Don't wear it out, babe, or I'll make you buy me a new one.
-Morning, Max. Bummer about the store. You insured?
-I damn well better be. In fact I want you to phone those goniffs over at Gotham Insurance and tell them --
-How long has it been, Uncle Alfred?
-Joanna and I were in love in London. But when I realized our age difference was too extreme -
-Uncle Alfred left for America. Much to my mother's dismay -
-You certainly will not.
-I'm sorry, Uncle, I came to tuck you in. And...
-I guess they don't have fax machines on elephants.
-I have been trying to reach Wilfred with no success. As one grows older, one yearns for family.
-It's good to see you again, Uncle. I've missed you.
-I'm sorry. I was too late.
-Too late for what, dear child?
-I came to give you your freedom, a chance to live the life you choose. The same gift you gave me.
-Find my brother Wilfred. Give him This. I have duties he must fulfill in my stead. Only family can be trusted.
-What is it?
-Uncle Alfred?
-In spirit only, I'm afraid.
-He's over-eager, impulsive. I can't trust him not to get hurt.
-Perhaps the truth is you don't really trust anyone.
-Don't tell me you're on his side. Again.
-I must have dozed off. My sincerest apologies, sir.
-You have?
-Well, I hope you'll stay with us.
-Oh, but, sir. So much goes on-
-Congratulations on your apprehension of Mr. Freeze. Batman monopolized the evening news.
-Is there something wrong, sir?
-Alfred, am I pigheaded? Is it always my way or the highway?
-But I can't can I?
-I am as well as can be expected.
-Alfred, I know you're sick -- I can get you the best doctors.
-Have you ever regretted your life working here, Alfred?
-Attending to heroes? No sir. My Only regret is that I was never able to be out there with you.
-Alfred, if I've never told you...I just want to say...
-I've spent my whole life trying to beat back death. What good are all my heroics now if I can't save you?
-I love you, old man.
-Alfred, old friend, I could use your help right now.
-It's good to see you.
-What seems to be the problem?
-Women.
-That, sir, does not compute.
-First Ivy had an intoxicating effect on both Dick and me. Tonight my feelings spread to someone else.
-Specify, please.
-Pamela Isley. I was so attracted to her I couldn't reason clearly. I still can't. She used to work for Wayne Enterprises. Find a file.
-Advanced botany. DNA splicing. Recombinant animal plant patterns. Pheromone extractions.
-Pheromones?
-Glandular secretions from animals. Scents that create powerful emotions. Fear. Rage...
-What is it?
-Alfred, are you...?
-I'm on break from-
-Oxbridge Academy?
-Their new computer sciences division. How did you know?
-Sometimes counting on someone else is the only way to win.
-Hey, I'm the one who kicked Ivy's botanical butt. Personally. Me. I did.
-Please be looking for me.
-Al's main squeeze. Is she here? I'm about to scrape the bottom of my shoe off my tongue, right?
-I could have made it, you know. I didn't need your help.
-This is to replace the bike I lost. I'll get you the rest.
-Keep it.
-Of course, Dick Grayson, ward of the fabulously wealthy Bruce Wayne. Why would you need a few hundred dollars?
-Hey, what's your problem?
-I started racing after my parents died. There was something about the speed, the danger, that took me out of myself, that made the hurt go away. You wouldn't understand.
-You'd be surprised.
-Street racing isn't exactly an acceptable major at Oxbridge. They kicked me out. it doesn't matter. I've won enough money to do what I've always dreamed.
-Alfred has supported me my whole life. Now I'm going to pay him back. I'm going to liberate him from his dismal life of servitude.
-What are you talking about?
-Servants, Masters, it's ridiculous. Alfred is the sweetest, most noble man alive and he's subjugated all his life and dreams to someone else.
-Alfred and Bruce are like family.
-Paying someone to prepare your meals and do your laundry and clean your dishes, you call that family?
-Alfred's happy here.
-Alpha. Got it. What the hell is attack plan Alpha?
-Youwsa! Nothing but air.
-This is easy.
-Crimefighter's rule number one: never say that.
-Crimefighter's rule number two.
-I'm afraid to ask.
-Pow! What! Kazow!
-What exactly are you doing?
-It'll take the satellites about a minute to re-align, but...damn!
-Damn? Damn is not good.
-You were a great scientist once. Don't squander your genius on evil.
-After you have frozen, your icy tomb will plummet back to Gotham.
-Mr. Bane, I'll finish off the city. You, as they say in showbiz, are on. Take the boys and kill the kids. But bring me the Bat.
-You're loosing your cool
-Go on, kill me too. Just as you killed my wife.
-Nice suit. And today you are?
-Nightwing. Scourge of darkest evil.
-This is all about fashion for you, isn't it?
-... A giant drilling truck burrowing under the city ...
-Mr. Freeze.
-The batcomputer tracks him heading for the Gotham Museum.
-The new antiquities exhibit. The Second Sun of the Sudan.
-Of course. He's going to steal the giant white diamond.
-I was just hanging around.
-I thought you were going to stay in the museum and round up the thugs.
-Watch the first step.
-You think Freeze will take the bait?
-You don't have two million. Three million - -
-Pull back. You can't make the jump.
-She's definitely part of this. It's weird, for a while Ivy was all I could think about. But then...
-I know. The feeling just vanished.
-I can't believe we were fighting over a bad guy.
-Bad, yes. Guy, no. This is one majorly beautiful evil person.
-I'm totally over her. Positively.
-Me too. Great stems, though.
-Umm-hmmmm.
-How did you...?
-She's still alive. He's adapted his freezing technology to reverse McGregor's Syndrome. He's even found a cure for the early stages of the disease.
-Can he save her?
-No beauty...
-Remember the victim at the airport. Toxins introduced through the mouth.
-What are you talking about?
-Why is she so desperate to kiss us? I'm betting her lips are poison.
-We gotta get those locks changed.
-She knows who we are.
-I guess we'll just have to kill her.
-No sign of the snowman.
-If we could relay the sunlight-
-Winded, old timer?
-They're overly protective. You're Not going to hurt me are you, Ms...
-Dr. Pamela Isley.
-What can I do for you, Doctor? A research grant? A hospital wing?
-Actually, I already work for you. Or did. Your arboreal preservation project in South America.
-We cut our support. A conflict of ideologies. Dr. Woodrue was a lunatic.
-I see you knew him.
-That lab was consumed by fire last week. how did you manage to escape?
-Forget the stars. Look here, at the Earth, our mother, our womb. She deserves our loyalty and protection. And yet you spoil her lands, poison her oceans, blacken her skies. You're killing her.
-Your intentions are noble, but no diesel fuel for heat. No coolants to preserve food. Millions would die of cold and hunger alone.
-Acceptable losses in a battle to save the planet.
-Tell me, billionaire, would you warm faster to my pleas if I looked more like Ms. January here?
-Physical perfection, charm and wealth tossed over for a dowdy spinster. How do you explain your behavior?
-I can't. But perhaps tonight, over dinner...I've just had an opening.
-No!?
-Umm. What I mean is...no plans at the moment...
-And?
-You're not even listening to me.
-What? I'm sorry. You were saying...
-Julie, I'm not the marrying kind. There are things about me you wouldn't understand.
-I know you're a dedicated bachelor. That you've had a your wild nights.
-Wild doesn't exactly cover it.
-But there's nothing you've done under the cover of darkness I couldn't learn to understand.
-I wouldn't bet on that.
-Who's Ivy?
-What?
-You just called me Ivy. Who's Ivy?
-Dr. Isley. it was like I could feel you in the room. You're...enchanting. Gorgeous. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen. If you're..um... free...this evening.
-Make a choice, Bruce. Her or me.
-Well...um...her.
-That's gotta hurt.
-What happened to his wife?
-He needs extreme cold to survive. His cryo-suit uses diamond enhanced lasers to keep him at zero degrees.
-Let me get this straight. A brilliant citizen, disfigured by a horrible accident, re-emerges as a psychotic super-villain bent on theft, revenge and destruction. You see a pattern here?
-I need the Wayne Diamonds.
-We gonna trap ourselves a snowman?
-Absolutely. Just as soon as you take ten hours training in the simulator.
-Whoa, I made a mistake. I'm sorry. Don't go all protective on me. It won't happen again.
-Dick, you were reckless. You could have been killed.
-I got the diamond. Quell problemo, Bruce?
-Of course. Alfred still keeps your mother's picture in his room.
-He's dying. And I can't deal with it.
-But he's never said a word-
-You know Alfred. He'd never say Anything. But I can tell. Until you came along, Alfred was the only family I ever had. Without him, I don't know how I would have survived. He saved my life, Dick. And I've never told him.
-Talk to him, Bruce. There's nothing worse than losing someone without telling them how you feel.
-McGregor's Syndrome. That's what Freeze's wife had.
-Yes. But Alfred's condition is less severe. Freeze's research says he cured a case like Alfred's. It just doesn't say how.
-I checked the medical database. No one else is even close.
-I'm late for the dedication. Then I go after Freeze and Ivy. Alone.
-Like hell you do.
-Dick, don't push me right now.
-Or what? No one can capture Ivy but the big bad Bat. Crap! You just want her for yourself. Don't you? Answer me, damn it!
-Yes! Yes, I want her so badly I can taste it. That's the whole point. Look at us. Orphans. Isolated. Obsessed to the exclusion of life, love, family. We're perfect targets. She's done something to us, got us fighting over her somehow.
-Hail the all-knowing Bruce Wayne. Here's what I know, she loves me, Not you and it's driving you crazy. It's why you stopped us from kissing. Because if you can't have her, nobody can.
-She's clouded your mind. You're not thinking straight.
-That's no batlight, it's a birdcall.
-Her name is Pamela Isley. I saw her talking to Gordon. She must have stolen his keys, altered the signal-
-And she did it all for me. For love.
-She's infected us with some kind of pheromone extract-
-Is that it, Bruce? I'm under some magic spell?
-She wants to kill you.
-You'd say anything to keep me away from her. To keep her for yourself.
-One question. When Batgirl and I rolled off the telescope, how come you didn't try and save us? It was the first time I fell and you weren't there to catch me.
-Let me guess, Plant Girl? Vine Lady? Ms. Moss?
-Listen, Captain Cold, the suit, maybe, even though silver went out in the 70's. But those boots are unforgivable. What is it with men?
-Impressive
-Well, I, my most unabominable snowman, have been impressed by you. In fact I propose a pairing. So I'm here to set you free.
-An enticing offer. But what does the lady want in return?
-I love that belt. What are you, about a fifty Big and Tall?
-No gun. How disarming.
-I wonder if I can get a cell with a view of the gardens?
-My reserves are exhausted. I must have the gems that power my suit.
-In my weakened state I am no match for the bat and the bird.
-Trust me. Vegetable magnetism.
-Fine. While I retrieve my diamonds, you and meatloaf will bring my wife to your lair. She's frozen in -
-You will rescue my wife
-Make yourself right at home.
-Where is my wife?
-There was nothing I could do. Batman deactivated her. She's dead.
-Their bones will turn to ice. Their blood will freeze in my hands.
-Yes. I shall replay the world for sentencing me to a life without the warmth of human comfort. I will blanket the city in endless winter. First Gotham and then the world.
-I have created a race of plants with the strength of the deadliest animals. Once you have frozen mankind, my mutants will overrun the globe. The Earth will become a brave new world of only plants. And we shall rule them. For we will be the only two people left in the world.
-You will distract the bat and bird while I prepare to freeze Gotham.
-Can't we just ice them along with the rest of the citizenry?
-That is far too merciful. Batman will watch his beloved Gotham perish, then I will kill him.
-As a team, the duncely duo protect each other. But the Robin is young. Impetuous. If I could get him alone-
-One kiss and you could lift the mask from his lifeless face. Their secret identities would be revealed. But how best to bait a brid?
-The way to a boy's heart is through his ego. What strapping young hero could resist his very own...signal?
-Inspired, Ms. Ivy.
-Prepare for a bitter harvest. Winter has come at last.
-Freezy, I'm feeling...hot.
-I find that unlikely.
-Okay, my hair is brittle, my skin is dry and I don't care. I'd weather blizzards to have you. You're the most perfect man I've ever known.
-To be frozen. To never change. A life of perpetual ice-olation. There is little perfection in that.
-What say we turn up the heat?
-You're skating on thin ice. My passion thaws for my bride alone.
-Forget your frosty femme. These lips are wet and ready to get frostbite.
-Give it up. If you threw yourself-
-I'm glad you came. I can't breathe without you.
-I want us to be together. But I need to know you're serious about turning over a new leaf. I need a sign.
-How about dangerous curves?
-Of trust. Tell me your plan.
-Kiss me and I'll tell you.
-Tell me and I'll kiss you.
-Freeze has turned the new telescope into a freezing gun. He's about to turn Gotham into an ice cube.
-I've got to stop him.
-Bad luck, I'm afraid. It's time to die, little bird.
-What do you mean?
-You should have heeded your pointy- eared pal. These lips can be murder.
-Then you never loved me?
-You're too late. Say bye-bye birdie.
-What do we have here? A lovely new supply of Venom. I'll just take this to my laboratory for further study.
-You have to tell me what you're doing with my Venom.
-...Our original sponsor had no stomach for military applications. he cut the funding for our work -
-Our work?
-Join you? I've spent my life trying to protect plants from extinction and now you corrupt my research into some maniacal scheme for world domination. When I get through you won't be able to get a job teaching high school chemistry, do you hear me, you psycho?
-Dr. Isley? Pamela? You look great. Especially for a dead woman.
-The dreams again, sir?
-I think they're getting worse.
-...Would it be a terrible imposition to ask you to take better care of your equipment?
-Then you'd have nothing to complain about.
-How's the sonar coming, Alfred?
-A few hitches sir, but I'm confident we'll have a prototype in no time.
-It'll never work.
-Scholarly research?
-She has an excellent mind.
-If I misinterpreted your interest in the lady, I humbly apologize--
-I wonder if she'd go out with me.
-Do you remember the night I fell into that cave and the bat chased me?
-Your parents' wake. Rain fell like tears.
-...The night Batman was born. What was I doing in the fields that night, Alfred? What sent me running out into that storm? I keep dreaming about it but I just can't remember.
-I don't know, sir. Your dear parents. Suddenly gone. So much loss...
-Gee, I'm not sure. Alfred? How many rooms? Total?
-Ninety-three, including the sauna.
-It's happening again. Just like my parents. A monster comes out of the night. A scream. Two gunshots. I killed them.
-What did you say?
-He killed them. Two-Face. He slaughtered that boy's parents.
-No. You said I. I killed them.
-Sorry to bother you, sir. I have some rather distressing news about Master Dick.
-Is he all right?
-I'm afraid Master Dick has... gone traveling.
-He ran away?
-Actually, he took the car.
-He boosted the Jag? Is that all?
-Not the Jaguar. The _other_ car.
-The _Rolls_?
-Too much wealth. Too fast. Half of Gotham zombied-out. A technology that self destructs. He's protecting more than industrial secrets, Alfred.
-Maybe they're right.
-Which `they' might that be, sir?
-Why do I keep doing this?
-Why, indeed?
-Could I let Batman go? For Dick. For me. Could I leave the shadows? Have a life. Friends. Family...
-She's the first woman in a long time that's... No. She's the first woman ever. And she loves Batman. Not Bruce Wayne. If I let go of Batman I'll lose her.
-Perhaps. Perhaps not. Why not ask the lady?
-How are you feeling, young man?
-Not that young. It's been a long time since you've called me that.
-Old habits die hard. Are you alright?
-As well as can be expected, I guess. Give me the bad news.
-I'm Batman? I remember my life as Bruce Wayne. But all this. It's like the life of a stranger.
-Perhaps the fall...
-There's one other thing. I feel..
-What?
-...Afraid.
-Bruce. Son. Listen to me. You are a kind man. A strong man. But in truth you are not the most sane man.
-...A bat.
-What?
-I remember a bat. A monster. A demon. Chasing me. Oh my God, Alfred.
-Master, Bruce?
-All the answers are numbers.
-But 1, 3, 1, 8, & 5. What do they mean?
-What do maniacs always want?
-Recognition, of course.
-Letters in the alphabet.
-Of course. 13 is M....MRE.
-How about, MR. E.
-Mystery.
-And another name for Mystery?
-Enigma.
-What now sir?
-Claw Island. Nygma's headquarters. I'm sure that's where they're keeping Chase. Are all the Batsuits destroyed?
-All except the prototype with the sonar modifications you so disapprove of. But it hasn't yet been tested.
-Welcome, Master Grayson. I'm Alfred.
-How ya doin', Al?
-Al?
-May I help you, Master Grayson?
-How come this is the only locked door around this museum? What's back there?
-Up here, Al.
-Just checking, young sir.
-_Two_ million dollars waiting to be transferred from the _Second_ Bank of Gotham on the _22nd_ How could Harvey? _Two_-Face resist?
-...dual personalities. Abnormal psychology. Washington's poster child for the criminally insane. I read your work.
-I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a super-hero's night table. You might have some interesting insights into Two-Face.
-Why's that?
-Let's just say I could write a hell of a paper on a grown man who dresses like a flying rodent.
-Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.
-He's home. I sent the signal.
-What's wrong?
-I wish I could say my interest in you was purely professional...
-Are you trying to get under my cape, Doctor?
-A girl cannot live by psychoses alone.
-It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.
-Now black rubber.
-Try a fireman. Less to take off.
-We all wear masks.
-My life's an open book. You read?
-I'm not the kind of guy who blends in at a family picnic.
-We could give it a try. I'll bring the wine, you bring the scarred psyche.
-You are direct, aren't you?
-I haven't had much luck with women...
-Help Chase. I'll be back.
-Welcome to my parlor said the Riddler to the Bat. How's tricks?
-Death. Death. Without taste, sound and all around us. Because there is no way for me to save them or myself. This is one giant death trap.
-Wait. I have a riddle for you.
-For _me_? Really? Tell me.
-I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
-Oh please. You're blind as a bat.
-Mr...?
-Bruce Wayne. In the flesh.
-Um...I'm pretty sure I'm Bruce Wayne. And you are?
-I'm gonna need that hand back, Ed.
-What? Ah yes. Of course. I'm sorry. It's just that...you're my idol. And some people have been trying to keep us apart.
-Mr. Nygma, you'll forgive me for being rude. But what exactly is on your mind?
-Call my secretary, she'll set something up. Factory looks great, folks. Keep up the good work.
-Wait. You can't go.
-We'll talk some other -
-So glad you could come.
-What? Oh, Edward. Hi. Congratulations. Great party-
-What? Oh, it's very impressive.
-No grape could be more intoxicating than you, my dear. But we make due. To your charms. Skol.
-Nostrovia.
-La'chiem.
-Slanta.
-Rinka.
-I notice you've sub-divided your B coupons. Feeling a little light on principle?
-How can I help you, Mr. Wayne?
-Psychiatrists make you nervous?
-Just ones this beautiful.
-The infamous Wayne charm. Does it ever shut off?
-Still play with dolls, Doctor?
-She's a Malaysian dream warden. She stands sentry while you sleep and calms your dreams. Need one?
-My opinion. This letter writer is a total wacko.
-Wacko? That a technical term?
-Patient apparently suffers from acute obsessional syndrome with potential homicidal styles. Work better for you?
-So what you're saying, this guy's a total wacko, right?
-I think the question would be, do you have a thing for bats?
-So, this Riddler, he's dangerous?
-What do you know about obsession?
-It's a stretch but I'll manage.
-The letter writer is obsessed with you. His only escape may be...
-To kill me.
-You understand obsession better than you let on.
-No insights here, doc. Just trying to get comfortable on your couch. Oops. Times up.
-That's usually my line.
-Look, I'd love to keep chatting-
-Would you? I'm not so sure.
-But I'm going to have to get you out of those clothes.
-Excuse me.
-I'm surprised you aren't blind by now.
-Like normal folks.
-That kid is amazing.
-I don't get you Bruce Wayne.
-Me? I'm easy. Especially after a couple of martinis.
-The glib, cavalier routine, it really is an act, isn't it?
-Look, I'm rock climbing Sunday. How about coming along?
-Bruce, much to my surprise, you seem like a really great guy...
-But...
-Well, I met someone...
-Fast work. You just moved here.
-You could say he kind of dropped out of the sky and bang-. I think he felt it too.
-He sure did.
-What?
-The style of the letters I'm getting matches those found at the crime sites. Why would The Riddler be sending me riddles? Who's your decorator? U-Haul?
-A lot of what happened is jagged. Pieces missing. I can't really remember. I just get flashes. Usually in my dreams. I'd kind of gotten used to them. At least accepted them....
-And now....
-Find anything interesting?
-Why do I feel like the other man, here?
-Come on, Bruce. This is what I do for a living.
-I'd say this goes a little beyond taking your work home.
-Why do you do that?
-What?
-Throw up that ridiculous superficial mask. If you're jealous...
-I'm not-
-In a sense we are all two people. The side we show in daylight. And that side we keep in shadow.
-If I didn't know better, I'd say you were sulking.
-Keep me off the couch, Doc. Your fees are a little rich for me.
-Touchy, touchy.
-So how goes your `scholarly' pursuit of Batman?
-Oh God, Bruce. You're still jealous.
-And the beast slouches towards Bethelem.
-There's something I want to talk with you about. It's...Well, we.. I...
-Your memories are repressed. They're trying to break through. Relax. Try to remember-.
-I don't want to remember!
-My parents are laid out in the library. Their skin smells like talcum powder. I'm so small. My father's diary is on his desk like always. I'm opening the book. Reading. I'm running out into the storm. The book is in my hands. I can't hear my screams over the rain. I'm falling...
-What does it say? What hurts so much, Bruce? What does the book say?
-I don't-.
-The last entry read, Bruce insists on seeing a movie tonight. Bruce insists. I made them go out. I made them take me to the movie. To that theater... It was my fault. I killed them.
-Oh God, Bruce, you were a child. You weren't responsible.
-...Not the bat?
-What?
-I always thought it was the bat that scared me that night that changed my life. But it wasn't. The real fear was hiding underneath: what I read in the journal, that my parents' deaths were my fault. That's what I couldn't remember. That's the crime I've been paying for all these years.
-What are you talking about?
-Okay. I'm outta here.
-Excuse me.
-Where will you go? The circus is halfway to Metropolis by now.
-I got no place at the circus without my family. I'm going to get a fix on Two-Face. Then I'm going to kill him.
-Listen, Dick. Killing Two-Face won't take the pain away. It'll make it worse.
-I need to be part of this.
-Absolutely not.
-Me and my brother Chris were putting money aside so our folks could retire. Dad's knee was going. Chris was engaged, you know that? Two-Face took...everything. Now I can pay him back.
-Back off, man.
-You don't understand. It's an addiction. You fight night after night, trying to fill the emptiness. But the pain's back in the morning. And somewhere along the way it stops being a choice. I want better for you.
-What the hell did you think you were doing?
-You have a real gratitude problem. You know that, Bruce? I need a name. Batboy? The Dark Earl? What's a good side kick name?
-How about Richard Grayson, college student?
-...I missed Two-Face by a heartbeat. When we catch him, you gotta let me kill him!
-We don't kill. Killing is what damns you. It-. What am I talking about? This conversation is over. You're going away to school.
-You can't-.
-Dick, let go. Revenge will eat you alive. Trust me. I know.
-But what about all the good we can do? There are monsters out there. Gotham needs us.
-Exactly. And once you'd killed him you'd be lost. Like me. All this has to be a choice. Otherwise...it's a curse.
-Bruce, you can't.
-Chase?
-Edward...
-Who is it?
-It's Dr. Meridian. Chase. Do you remember me?
-How could I forget?
-Dr. Burton tells me you know who Batman is.
-Who is The Batman, Edward?
-Can't tell if you don't say please.
-I really do apologize, Mr. Wayne. His project was terminated this morning...
-Why be brutalized by an uncaring world? My RES Box will give Joe Q Public a realm where he is king. Not that someone like you would need it. Someone so intelligent. Witty. Charming. But for the lonely, the...
-Paranoid? The psychotic?
-Hell. Might even bring old Stickley here a few extra bucks. Huh, Fred?
-I'll show you it works.
-Yo. Charlie. Gimmie an order of brain deep-fry. Extra well done. Hold the neurons. Patient exhibits symptoms of psycho neural overload. Notation: obviously higher settings can be dangerous to the subject. Riddle me this, Fred. What is everything to someone and nothing to everyone else? Your mind of course. And now mine pumps with the power of yours. New from Brain-bok. Da pump. Think
-...Fired...your fired...your fired. You understand?! Fired!!
-_We_ sure are.
-...You gonna kill me?
-Might. Might not. Could say we're of two minds on the subject.
-I got family. ...Please.
-...or death.
-Please. I swear I won't say noth-
-That floor has got to be very hard. Is that better?
-Uh, yeah. Thanks, Mr..uh...Face.
-Wait! You said you'd let me go!
-How'd you find us?
-You _are_ Two-Face, you would need to face both rivers, both uptown and downtown simultaneously. Only one spot in Gotham serves these bi- zonal, bi-coastal needs...
-Yet so bright and chipper and conservative! It's so you. And yet so _you_! Very few people are both a summer _and_ a winter. But you pull it off nicely.
-A man with a death wish.
-Harvey. You need me. Since you've gotten out of Arkham, you've managed, what? To bungle stealing a safe? Wreck a statue? And, correct me if I'm wrong here, but weren't you outsmarted by an acned acrobat at the circus?
-Holy shit.
-No. Wait...
-Where are you sending Batboy this time?
-Sure, E = MC squared. Until you factor in more than three dimensions. Then... Damn. Hit us again.
-Not until you do that thing I like. On se tue pour des mesnonges. J'ai gache ma vie... Woah. Harsh toke.
-Oh my God. Jim Morrison was right.
-About what?
-Why do we need you? You only come between us. We can be the smartest person in Gotham City. We want the empire for ourselves. Time's up, laughing boy.
-Go ahead. You can say it.
-We want to dust him. We truly want to dust him bad.
-A-14.
-B-12.
-A hit.
-How high up would you say that is?
-I'd say about thirty feet, sir.
-You know, if you cut your bathroom in half, you'd have my apartment.
-Which bathroom is that, sir?
-Yes?
-Alexander Knox. Gotham Globe.
-Mr. Wayne is out for the day.
-Excuse me, sir. Commissioner Gordon was compelled to leave - -very unexpectedly. He asked me to convey his regrets.
-It's all right, Alfred. Everything's under control.
-Where's the boy?
-Upstairs. He's quite docile.
-I know the feeling. It won't last. He's a long way ahead of where I was at his age.
-How long's it been, Alfred? A quarter of a century? It seems like yesterday. I guess we ended up doing more harm than good.
-Don't ever say that, sir. Don't ever believe it.
-Like your boyfriend. He's kinda hot.
-Take me. Let the boy go.
-Gosh, I could kill you, but then you'd miss my party. And you, Batman -- you're the guest of honor!
-What are you talking about?
-You know, we should've sat down and had us a little heart-to-heart. I bet we would have got on famously.
-... Murderer...
-GET IN THE CAR!!
-Look! Police!
-I know. I called them.
-What about the girl?
-Can't we --
-How much do you weigh?
-...Not even a 'thank you'?
-I'll have to ask you for that film.
-Please.
-The Joker is a murderer. And you were as good as dead. So --
-Look, I appreciate what you did for me. But this is my job. And I'm keeping those pictures.
-All right, I'll develop the photos. Anything I don't want is yours.
-How do I know you won't keep them all?
-Thank you, Vicki.
-... How long have I been out?
-Quite a while. I took the scenic route.
-What is this stuff? Kevlar?
-Better. It's not on the market yet.
-It doesn't protect your head, though.
-How'd you find this place?
-They don't come down here. They're afraid of the lights.
-I loathe bats.
-What is that?
-They've got it all wrong. They're watching the warehouses, the loading docks, looking for a tamperer. The Joker is supplying tainted ingredients at the source.
-That can't be right. That would mean every shipment of every product is poisoned. We'd all be dead.
-I just can't absorb it all. This place, the equipment. What it must have cost. Why all the secrecy? Why do you wear the mask?
-I don't want to jeopardize anyone close to me.
-Is this what you wanted?
-You could've killed him, you know. You could've killed the Joker.
-I assume in my usual charming manner I've just insulted the host. Alexander Knox.
-Bruce Wayne. -- I've read your work. I quite like it.
-Great. Give me a grant.
-"This is Miss Vale." -- That felt redundant.
-That's how it is, chum. One column - and I can bring all this tumbling down. I can take you off the streets for good.
-What is it you want?
-I want you to hang up the suit. And I want you to stay away from Vicki.
-I can't do that. Not while the Joker's still at large.
-See, I don't know how it happened... she's a smart girl and you are an extraordinary screwed-up guy... but she's in love with you.
-Tell me, Knox. If you've got the story, why haven't you printed it?
-Do you want a drink?
-Yeah, a drink. 'Civilized,' right?
-I don't... seek publicity -- Will you be staying in Gotham for a while?
-As far as I know.
-Do you sail?
-Two drinks and I start swinging from the rooftops. Look, I bore myself silly. Let's talk about you. How the hell did you wind up in Corto Maltese?
-That's a tough one. Have you ever seen combat?
-No.
-Neither had I. Odd desire for a woman, I guess.
-Odd desire for anyone.
-Well. A couple of years ago when their president was requesting aid I went down there for Newsweek. The beaches were nice. And at nights -- they had a band -- I danced on the hotel patio. Of course I never saw what was really happening there. When the war broke out I had to go back. And I promised myself that this time...
-What did you see?
-There's terror everywhere. If you train yourself to look for it.
-Bruce, really, when I say these things I don't mean to criticize you.
-In other words, what right do I have to talk about terror.
-As much as I do. It's not that. I don't want to be depressing, that's all.
-I'm sorry, Bruce, I Just can't seem to get a handle on this conversation.
-But it's not fair. I'm half drunk and you're not even --
-I'll take you home if you'd like.
-God. You would. Come on, Bruce. I just want to get two drinks in you. As an experiment.
-Maybe we should just kiss.
-I don't sing very well.
-To tell you the truth, I'd just about given up waiting.
-I said I'd call you the minute I got free. And I did -- And here we are.
-All street mimes should be executed.
-I know it's late. I -- Are you there?
-Yes, Bruce -- I'm here --
-I'm sorry I had to stand you up today. I'd like to make it up to you.
-Well, Bruce -- I don't think -- that would be possible.
-I realize... the way things have gone between us... ... I wish you'd reconsider.
-Vicki?... This is Batman. I thought I'd call and see how you're doing.
-... I know it's you, Bruce. I'm not going to talk to you unless we can discuss it...
-Who's this 'Bruce'? Are you trying to make me jealous?
-So we just pretend none of this ever happened. We never met. We -- -- You're going to get yourself killed, Bruce. You know that, don't you?
-No one would miss me.
-Money makes money, Vicki. The foundation runs itself -- I'm extraneous to the process.
-You're one man. You can't save everybody.
-Bruce, at the rate you're going, you can't even save yourself.
-It's like the last time. He sent me a present before he --
-Oh, Bruce. Don't tell me you carry it around with you.
-"It worked for Van Gogh. Let's kiss and make up."
-Keep her on the line!
-I'm sorry, she hung up. What are --
-Finding out where she is.
-How can you do that if she's already off the line?
-Got it!
-What now?
-All this apparatus, Vicki... This house, and the money, and the power ... It was never mine. It was something I inherited. Bruce Wayne was something I inherited. All I ever hoped for was someone who could see through Bruce -- who could see me -- and not be frightened.
-I'm frightened of you, Bruce. I'm frightened for you.
-I don't know why I'm doing this. I half wish you'd stay a cripple.
-Ohhhh... You don't mean that.
-I don't, but... I do. It's just... I love you, Bruce. I don't want you to...
-We'll raid the Ace the moment we get a warrant.
-He'll be ready when you do. Remember what happened at the apartment.
-All right, Bruce, what do you suggest?
-I suggest a nice big bomb.
-Good. A bomb. On a blind tip from Bruce Wayne -- We do have laws.
-Then for God's sake, Harvey, cancel the anniversary celebration.
-We've told him we'll deal. What could he possible have to gain by --
-Do you still think the Joker cares about money??
-We got 'em!
-SOMEBODY'S KILLED THE POWER!!
-WHAT?
-SOMEBODY'S KILLED THE --
-Boss! Jesus! They've --
-MOVE! Can't you do something??
-I missed you, Lieutenant.
-Sorry. We had another bat sighting.
-I'm on top of it. If there's a problem --
-I answer to Grissom, punk. Not to you.
-Got it all figured, huh? Grissom just sits back and hands you the reins. -- Maybe he don't know what we know.
-What are you talking about?
-Let's beat it, man. I don't like it up here.
-What are you, scared of heights?
-I dunno, man. After what happened to Johnny Gobs - -
-Look, Johnny Gobs got ripped and walked off a roof, all right? No big loss.
-That ain't what I heard. That ain't what I heard at all. I heard the bat got him.
-Gimme a break, will you? Shut up.
-Five stories, straight down. There was no blood in the body.
-There was no blood, man. My brother says... all the bad things you done... they come back and haunt you...
-My brother's a priest, man.
-You shouldn'ta turned the gun on that kid, man. You shouldn'ta --
-Okay, a break-in. Trash the office, make off with the books ... "Industrial espionage."
-Why do you need me to handle a simple break-in?
-I understand.
-It's me. "Sugar Bumps."
-Jack? Thank God. I can't believe it's you. I heard you'd been --
-It's not the girl, Jack. Sooner or later you would've tried to take me. You may get me now, but your life won't be worth a dime.
-Jack, listen -- we'll cut a deal --
-Jack - - please - - WIPE THAT LUNATIC GRIN OFF YOUR FACE.
-I don't like taking orders from Grissom. And I especially don't like taking orders from Grissom's goon.
-I've considered that possibility.
-And what happens if we say no?
-Nobody wants a war, Carmine. If we can't do business, we shake hands and part friends.
-That's it?
-Joker here. Can we talk?
-I'd like to read a prepared statement. 'While this administration remains vehemently opposed to terrorism in any form, we are prepared to negotiate any reasonable demands which will guarantee the safety of the populace.'
-All right, then. Here's the deal. Total amnesty... and the sum of ten million dollars, payable in --
-Ten million dollars. Ten mi -- YOU CHEAPSKATES! I've just wiped out the stock market. I've cost you billions! I want ten million and one.
-Please! We'll talk. Just tell us what you expect.
-... Thank you.
-And you want a --
-Maybe we should start with a portrait of the artist. People might like to see the face behind the makeup.
-I've seen worse. Much worse.
-... Why the mask?
-You SCUM! You SICK FILTH!... You DID THAT to her!
-I'll see you burn. I'll see you dead -- GET AWAY FROM ME!!
-How'd you know it was me?
-Burned out. I need a vacation.
-God, Vick, a girl could get hurt doing this.
-A girl could get killed - - so they tell me. What's new and hot in Gotham City?
-Oh, it's too good. We got a six-foot bat that swoops out of the night and preys on evildoers.
-Evildoers, huh? Big or small?
-Small so far. I think he's leaving the big fish for Harvey Dent.
-Our next D.A. -- I hear Bruce Wayne is throwing a fundraiser. Did you get your invitation yet?
-No.
-Man, I feel like Robin Leach. You actually know all these people?
-Where does one man get all this junk?
-All aver the world. They say he's spent half of his life overseas.
-Rich. Reclusive. Bankrolls half a dozen charities.
-Likes to kill? KNOX Women find him magnetic.
-I bet they like him for his big charity balls.
-That, and the sweet smell of two hundred million bucks.
-Oh. Sorry. I was thinking.
-What were you thinking?
-Yum, yum.
-Guess who's got a date with Bruce Wayne?
-Peanuts?
-Plain or roasted? Alex, I'm very flattered that you've gone out and done all this research.
-Nice snap, huh? Pulitzer Prize, 1963.
-Yep. He watched the whole thing happen - - Recognize the beat cop? Jim Gordon
-Oh, Bruce...
-You are on drugs.
-Yeah? According to this, he's in Geneva from '76 to '79. Well, I called Geneva. Nobody there's even heard of the guy - - Probably off in Tibet with some kung fu master.
-Are they paying you for all this?
-Everybody needs a hobby. You explain it, Vicki. He walks out on his own party. Half an hour later, who turns up? Batman. Sees an execution, freaks out in an alleyway. No place to change.
-Allie, I know exactly why you're doing this.
-He's best friends with Jim Gordon and Harvey Dent. They would know.
-Alexander... I know you.
-Right. And they know him. And that's why it would never occur to them for a minute that their old buddy Bruce puts on a cape at night and goes out looking for --
-I've had it with you. I'm leaving.
-The guy's bats all right. He's bat shit crazy. He -- -- I can't believe it. I was right!!
-Allie, he's not.
-Not what?
-Vicki. We got a wealthy millionaire here... who dresses up like a bat. He goes out at night and swings around -- in his cape -- on a rope. CRAZY BAT-STARD!
-Allie... he wants to tell me. I had a roll of film. His face was on it. He knew that -- And he let me keep.
-Jesus, Vicki! Where is it??
-Couldn't turn down the job, huh? A girl could get hurt this way.
-Yeah. Deja vu.
-LOOK! IT'S BRUCE!! Allies -- the balloons. We've got to find some way to tell him!
-HOLY SHIT!!
-You okay?
-Yeah. Yeah. Little winded. DID YOU SEE THAT?!
-God yes, Allie. I've gotta say -- that was the ballsiest move I ever...
-Ahm, well, you know ~ that's a tough question - on one' level I think it ....
-Jennifer can stay and look after Kevin
-Sounds great. Excellent. Though-, Ahm... there's this guy who's coming to work at the Gallery, from England...
-Yeeees?
-And they asked me if we'd like to ... you know... put him up for a while.
-There aren't hotels?
-Yes, there are hotels. They just thought maybe it'd be nice for him to stay with a real American family. Popcorn, waffles, all that stuff.
-And what did you say?
-Do we know anything about him?
-Ahm - he's male. He's English. He's a doctor of er ... at least 2 things. I think they would have mentioned if he was a blind dwarf. Or one of those guys who kills lots of people all the time. I think we're looking at someone moderately normal here.
-David - are you ever going to learn to say 'no'?
-It's the last thing we need.
-Scottish.
-Well, they're kind of busy but it doesn't look like ...
-Did you really ask?
-I'm not sure I got the right person but they were a bit busy ...
-It isn't working any more, David.
-Jesus.
-Go ahead.
-There were three strawberries.
-Liar.
-Ali? What's wrong?
-Shut up, Kevin. Honey, you-re not making sense ...
-Okay. It's not a problem... Let's just sit ... I'11 talk to the gallery ...
-David, I'm serious!
-I know you are. Very serious ... most of the time these days.
-Hi,
-Hi..... Roses.
-Yes. And I have a wine for dinner that will kill you.
-Great. You said you'd ask Grierson about putting our guest somewhere else. Did you?
-Sort of half.....
-Meaning?
-I was sort of half way through the sentence in which I would have asked him when it suddenly seemed like a mistake.
-At least you didn't bring Mr Bean with you.
-0 my god.
-Sorry, honey - he just happened to tag along.
-Let's get a coffee.
-Everything's gonna be fine.
-shhh...
-It was nothing. We're not ... He just makes me laugh. When was the last time we laughed? Any of us?
-Maybe I ought to think about getting another job.
-Here, let me do that.
-He's not too bad. I can live with him.
-Two dollars please.
-Annie, it's me.
-Oh, right, yeah. two dollars please.
-He doesn't like to say much does he?
-Right first time.
-Excuse me. Mr Grierson called down. He's ready to see you upstairs.
-Goodnight Annie.
-Big day today, huh? 78
-David. There's a call for you. It's your wife.
-Ah, Mr Bean ...
-Better go. Grierson hates people being late.
-Seems to be a problem with the door. Where's the picture gone?
-Ahm.....
-Oh Jesus. Oh God. Oh Jesus God. Oh Mary Mother of Jesus. Oh Jesus of Nazareth.
-oh dear.
-What happened?!!!
-Oh yes.
-It wasn't a dream, was it. I have to go in to work and tell them Whistler's Mother now looks like Danny De Vito.
-It's very good Bernie.
-I was hoping DU. Bean might take a look at my computer project today.
-Yes. I'11 mention it to him. But ... he's kind of his own guy, you know?
-Howls he getting on with the family?
-And howls Alison?
-She's ... well, she's good.
-Saw her at the movies the other night with that boss of hers. Nice guy. Good looking.
-Yes, isn't he.
-It's great when people who work together can become real friends.
-Look, I've left Bean on his own. Nice to chat though Bernie - always a subtle joy.
-'Emergency measures, in your book means sack people right?
-Great day. At last we can start getting out of debt and concentrating on the future.
-Yes, look, I wanted to talk to you about this. I'm sure we haven't been doing as badly as all that.
-Everything okay, David?
-Yes. Ahm. I was just wondering where my English house guest had got to.
-He's just parking the Governor's car.
-Look at all this - publicity expenditure ... catering ... all completely fictional ... back as far as June 93 ...
-Lord Walton assures me this guy's one of the very top scholars in the English art world. Has a couple of doctorates no less.
-So ... I'm wondering if one of you would have this guy stay in your home instead of some expensive hotel.
-Love to, sir, but no can do. No spare room. Period.
-We'll be able to start this afternoon. I'11 pipe the guide to every video screen in the gallery. Now, that'll impress the Governor.
-What a pleasure, Governor Reynolds. I'd like you to meet some of our staff here. .
-And that's where you introduce me to the Governor.
-This is Elmer, our longest serving...
-Okay, that'll do. The Governor's here in half an hour. We have to be totally ready then. No excuses. Period!
-He's a man with a plan who will haul us into profitability and the 21st century.
-Thank you, sir. Although, I'm afraid I don't quite see how we can ...
-Say that again, son.
-I beg your pardon?
-I said say that again, son - because the next time you do, I'll make sure you're in there with my daughter, but in a slightly less healthy state and she's in a coma with a broken arm right now.
-I'm er ... sorry if you've been waiting a long time.
-So, why not haul your ... nice little ass into this room and explain to me and my wife why our precious daughter is going to be absolutely fine because of all the fantastic intelligence and attention you are going to give her case.
-Oh, look, I mean, it's kind of the last thing... I mean, I'd really like to, but... things at home are kind of sensitive, so I couldn't really er ...
-I thought perhaps as Vice-President, and in view of the unfortunate attendance's for the summer show this year... the MASSIVE financial LOSS ...
-Tomorrow. You have a problem with that?
-Ah, David. Finally. And this must be our professor from across the sea.
-Ah... He certainly has something, sir.
-Very pleased you've taken him in, David. At a time when no-one's job is safe, it really identifies you as a team player.
-Yes, although, I really..... thank you. Yes, it's great to have him with us. The whole family's very excited.
-Glad to hear it. Tell poor Mr Larson to come through, will you?
-You're not going to ....
-No!
-The thing is, sir, I've just been giving the painting a very thorough inspection, with the help of Dr Bean here - and we feel the time's come for Whistler's Mum to have her first face-lift.
-Time taken its toll on the old girl, eh?
-Thank you David. However, flattery will get you nowhere. Truth is, I have a rather different plan for Whistler's dear Mama. Bernie and I have been inspecting our books - and the long and short of it is, we cannot survive with our current losses, so ...
-... you have to sack me. I understand, sir. I'll go quietly. In fact I'll go right now.
-Brilliant, huh? I already have a prospective buyer - the current Governor of California, no less, who is flies in tomorrow to inspect her and clinch the deal. Spread the news. I think decisive leadership has done the trick, don't you?
-I think you're wrong, David. She looks as fine as she's ever looked. Worth every cent of the 10 million dollar-s.
-Ahm....
-Bravo. Let's put on a good show tomorrow, shall we? Don't want anything to go wrong.
-Well, congratulations. Isn't that great, David?
-David, David, David ...
-I'm fired? Because I let a... copy of a painting the get stolen?
-I owe you a very serious apology, young man. It wouldn't surprise me if you wanted to leave us after this. I sincerely hope that you do not.
-Of course.
-And a car.
-Maybe two cars.
-A car sounds sensible.
-Oh come on - the guy's going to be a creep. All Englishmen are ugly.
-What makes you say that?
-All the guys they claim are English to and good-looking like Dan Day- Lewis and Liam Neeson, turn out to be Irish. Even Anthony Hopkins is welsh. Prince Charles is so ugly they pay him two million bucks a year to stay indoors.
-Richard Burton was very good-looking.
-Welsh.
-Welsh again.
-Honey, calm down now... it's okay...
-Jen - you don't wanna talk about it?
-It's you and Mom that need to talk.
-Bye, Dad.
-As you can see, security's pretty tight in this section. Nobody gets past Elmer here. Isn't that right?
-You've known me five years Elmer. When do you get to calling me David?
-You arrange those flowers yourself?
-Sure did.
-They're pretty. Learn it in the army?
-Hiya Dad ~ I'll need you upstairs for homework in about .... oh, 20 minutes.
-Who do you think is the ugliest guy who ever lived.
-Well, Michael Bolton's pretty grisly.
-He was incredible. This guy is fearless. He has no fear.
-That's one - way of looking at it. You might also say this guy is brainless he has no brain'.
-Well, there is that ...
-Hey, En, nice bike'- but remember: any kids you have are gonna look just like its handsome driver.
-Is Jenny gonna be okay?
-She was wearing a helmet. It could have been worse.
-But is she gonna be okay?
-... in the distant future.
-Doctor Jacobson?
-Yes?
-We need you urgently in C Theatre.
-Damn. I was just going to Number 4 ....
-It is urgent, sir.
-what a pleasure, Governor. Welcome.
-Hi, Grierson, forgive the war paint. Going on To my regiment/s reunion after.
-Interesting suit.
-Why thank you sir.
-off the peg?
-I've known soldiers who've had their heads blown off who were more intelligent than you two. Not only have you failed to protect your most valuable possession from theft - but you didn't even know it'd been stolen! I'd sooner buy heroin from the guy who sells drugs outside my grandson's school than anything from you guys.
-I am sorry you feel that way.
-Shut up, Kevin.
-NO, seriously - I know he's your boyfriend, but there's something about his upper lip that is so weird. What do you think it is, Dad? Jen says it's a moustache, I say it's a cluster of about 11 mosquitoes, resting.
-You know the thing I hate most about children?
-Nope.
-I wish I could use that at school. "Hey, Teach, no hard feelings ... It's just things between us ain't what they used to be and I need a little space, ya know? So I'11 see you around in a couple of years, maybe".
-You know, Mr. Bean's okay. You're not gonna kick him out, are you, Dad?
-Of course he is.
-Come on Sting!
-Dammit, Beavis, I was about to score. Huh huh.
-Yeah, but check it out. It's gone!
-What's gone?
-Whoa! I think I just figured something out Beavis.
-What?
-This sucks.
-Huh huh huh. That was cool.
-Huh huh huh. He said "anus."
-What a dork. Huh huh.
-Huh huh huh. That was cool.
-No it wasn't!
-Whoa, check it out Beavis. I didn't know Anderson had a Camper.
-Nnnnooo. Oooooh nooooo.
-What's your problem Beavis?
-Huh huh huh. That was cool.
-Actually, we just wanna watch TV...
-Shut up Beavis! Uh, yeah. We'll do your wife.
-Beavis, you butt-munch, this guy wants us to score with his wife. And he's gonna pay us. We can buy a new TV.
-Oh, heh heh really? Cool. Heh heh.
-We're gonna get paid to score.
-Yeah, heh heh, and then we're gonna get a big-screen TV! Heh heh.
-Wait, I wanted her to do it.
-Dammit! Huh huh. That chick wants me.
-Uh, huh huh, this is Las Vegas?
-Hey Butt-Head, why's that guy holding a sign?
-Uh, B...A...U... No, uh, V...
-Uh... Buuuuut. Boot. Someone named boot.
-Huh huh. This says Beavis.
-And Boot-Head.
-That's Butt-Head. Don't you get it, Beavis. These dudes have the same name as us.
-Beavis. This is what it's all about.
-Ow! These chips suck.
-Huh huh huh huh huh huh.
-Huh huh huh. That chick was talking about doing it.
-Uh... Hey baby. Are we like, doing it?
-Huh huh huh. I'm ready for love.
-So, uh, huh huh. Are we gonna score now?
-Me first!
-Ow, let go, Butt-Head!
-Me first.
-This is it, Beavis. Huh huh. We're finally gonna score.
-No way butt-hole! I want the window.
-Heh heh. We're in Washington!
-Damn, huh huh.
-So, like, where is she?
-This is dumb, let's find that chick.
-Check it out Butt-Head, TV!
-Beavis, huh huh, what'er you doing?
-My butt's bothering me!
-Dammit, all they have is shows about water.
-That sucks. Heh heh. They need some shows about fire! Change the channel.
-That was boring. Huh huh.
-Yeah, it's just the same thing over and over again.
-Ow! Cut it out Butt-Head.
-Huh huh. Get out of the way, Beavis, I wanna sit by the window. Huh huh.
-Ow! I'll kick your butt!
-That's not that much.
-Uh... Is this the right bus?
-Huh huh huh. Hey Beavis. We're on a bus with chicks.
-Check it out Butt-Head, porta-potties.
-Hey, where'd those chicks go?
-Uh... I think you scared them off.
-This sucks. It's all hot and stuff.
-This desert is stupid. They need to put a drinking fountain out here.
-Yeah or like a Seven-Eleven or something... Are we almost there?
-Uh...
-Hey Butt-Head, isn't there supposed to be like, water in cactuses?
-Hey Butt-Head, are we gonna die?
-Whoa, my life is cool!
-Hey Butt-Head, I'm starting to feel weird. I think I'm freaking out.
-Huh? Huh huh.
-Uh... Huh huh. I have a couple. Butt cheeks, huh huh huh.
-Hey Butt-Head, look. A jack. Heh heh.
-Uh, you first.
-C'mon, Beavis, just start running really fast when you hit the ground. It'll work.
-Hey Butt-Head it's that chick!
-Yeah, heh heh. Umm, isn't Seattle in Washington? Heh heh... 'cuz I was thinking maybe we could go see Hole.
-Well where is she?!
-Uh... Attention, attention! We're looking for that chick with the big boobs.
-Huh huh huh. Settle down Beavis.
-Heh heh. Fire. Heh heh Aaaaeeehhhhg!!!
-I always thought there was something wrong with him. Heh heh heh.
-Yeah, he had a lot of problems. Huh huh huh.
-Yeah, and um, he used to hit me too.
-You hear that, Beavis! We're gonna get alcohol, tobacco and guns!
-Cigarettes and beer rule! Huh huh.
-Uh... bye-bye.
-Hey Butt-Head, do you think we're ever gonna score?
-Uh, I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey. Huh huh.
-Shut up, dill-hole.
-Butt-dumpling...
-Turd-burglar...
-Dill-wad...
-Bunghole...
-Butt-snatch...
-Um, uh, butt... um, hole. Butt-hole...
-Uh... dill, um, face...
-Um... ass... head...
-Uh... butt-snatch...
-You already said that, Butt-Head.
-Aaaah. TeeeVeeeee, heh heh.
-Beavis.
-Yeah, heh heh. Boooooiiiing!!!
-Just make sure it looks like an accident...
-Yeah, heh heh. I think I just had an accident. Heh heh hmm heh hmm heh.
-Oh yeah. Can you just take us to Washington? We're gonna meet her there and, you know, heh heh hmmm...
-Hello there. Are you two heading for Las Vegas?
-Yeah, we're gonna score.
-I hope to score big there myself. I'm mostly going to be doing the slots.
-Yeah, I'm hoping to do some sluts too. Heh heh. Do they have lots of sluts in Las Vegas?
-Oh, there are so many slots you won't know where to begin.
-Yeah, heh heh. I'm gonna have money, and a big-screen TV and sluts everywhere!
-I'm probably going to make out with her first before we, you know, get down...
-You'll have to speak up son. I have this ringing in my ears. My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations. I've had two operations on my heart.
-Really? I poop too much.
-Oh, maybe you're lactose intolerant.
-Uh... No, I poop too much. Then I get tired.
-They perk me right up.
-Hey, Butt-Head, it's that slut from the plane!
-Why it's you two. How'd ya do in Vegas?
-Uh, we didn't score yet.
-Does that say Xanax?
-This is Agent Flemming, A.T.F.. We won't hurt you. We just want the unit. Tell us where the unit is.
-Do you have T.P.? T.P. for my bunghole?
-We'll get you whatever you want. Get that other kid. We might need him.
-You must bow down to the Almighty Bunghole. Heh heh, this is cool. Bungholio-o-o-o-o-o!
-He's jerkin' us off. I think we're gonna have to take him out. Get ready to fire on my orders... This is your last chance. Give us the unit now...
-Why does everyone wanna see my schlong? I am the one-and-only-almighty-bungholiooo!
-...Two...
-...o-o-o-eieee-ooooeeeooooo...
-We got nothing, Chief. We tore the place apart. We can only legally hold her for another couple of hours.
-Talk ta me, Bork.
-Chief, we found a witness that says he saw two teenagers leaving Dallas' room shortly before we arrived.
-Did you give him a full cavity search?
-Ah, the witness?
-Yes. You can never be too careful Bork.
-They look like a couple of kids chief.
-You see what I see, Bork?
-I see it. I don't get it.
-You got half the state looking for ya - how do you get away?
-Cut the power!
-Damn right. Bork, we're dealing with real pros here. My opinion, terrorists... What's the scoop on that stolen unit?
-Jesus Jumped-Up Christ! If this were to fall into the wrong hands...
-Cavity search...?
-Chief, you know that guy whose camper they were whacking off in?
-Bork! You are a federal agent. You represent the United States Government... Never end a sentence with a preposition. Try again.
-Oh, ah... You know that guy in whose camper they... I mean that guy off in whose camper they were whacking?
-That's better. Yes?
-Well, I'll be a blue-nosed gopher.
-What the hell...? Bork! That bus we picked up. Where was it headin'?
-D.C., Chief.
-Okay, boys and girls, our suspects are on a tour bus we believe to be headed for... the White House! Jumpin' Jesus! I want everyone there. Our people. Locals. Orders are shoot to kill. Repeat! Shoot to kill!
-Chief, I swear, we tore that bus apart. They couldn't have...
-Not on him, Chief.
-Say chief, isn't that guy whose camper,...I mean, off in whose...
-We just cleared all four floors. No sign of him.
-Chief, look!
-OK, nobody shoot. He could still have the unit on him. Keep your distance. We don't wanna take a chance on hitting it.
-Where are his pants?
-Well, Earl said you guys were young, but jeez... Oh well, as long as you can get the job done. So what are your names?
-Do her? Huh huh.
-Here she is. Her name's Dallas. She ain't as sweet as she looks. She stole everything from me. Ya gotta watch out, 'cause she'll do you twice as fast as you'd do her.
-She's holed up in a hotel room in Las Veags. Your flight leaves in a couple of hours. Now c'mon, I'll drive you to the airport.
-One more thing. Mah wife's got this leather satchel. It's black, about this big. I need ya to bring it back. It's real important. Sentimental value... Any questions so far?
-Uh, yeah. Does she have big hooters?
-She sure does.
-Ah'm gonna blow you both to hell!
-Cool. Huh huh huh.
-Cool, huh huh huh.
-This is Travis and Bob... What's your last name, dear?
-Meet Sylvia. And Elloise and Sam. And Ed. And Doreen.
-Whoa, this kicks ass! Huh huh huh.
-Uh, hey. One of you kids got a match?
-You were a roadie for Motley Crue?
-Really? That's where we're from.
-Well, then you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, here's the story. I scored with these two chicks. True story.
-You scored with two chicks?!
-Shut up, dumb-ass! You didn't score. I scored with both of them...
-Uh, do you think these two sluts still live in Highland? That would be cool.
-You got two seconds!
-Who sent ya?
-Uh, huh huh, this fat dude. He said we could do you. And he was gonna pay us.
-Muddy! Sonofabitch! Hold it. What's he payin' ya?
-Uh, ten uh...
-Ten grand? That cheap-ass... I got a better deal for ya. I'll double it. I'll pay ya twenty if you go back there and do mah husband.
-Maybe I am three-eighty-five if you carry a second lien! I can arrange the most creative financing in the six states of New England.
-No, Jane.
-You'll be rich!
-We're rich in what really matters.
-Adam my booyy! When you're really rich in what matters... ... nothing matters! My buyer has just made a killing in condos in the Village. And he's got a little stress problem... ... so his wife says they want the old peace and quiet!
-So do I, Jane. I'm on vacation.
-Get <u>away</u> you little monster.
-She's ready.
-Oh, Adam, the model looks so good. The Historical Society will love it. You've finished the streets?
-Manchurian Tung oil? Where did you get it?
-Helen got it for me in Oslo.
-Yeah, I want to get one coat on the wardrobe and then I'll help you.
-Oh, honey, I'm so glad we're spending our vacation at home.
-Oh no.
-Jane said we should sell the house to someone with a family.
-We should be flattered that she wants to sell our house.
-I know... I just wish she'd leave us alone.
-Wave at the lion.
-Don't forget the balls, Ernie.
-Adam, your Bozman Building is a beauty.
-Yeah it turned out okay. We applied for a National Historical plaque for it. That'll be the third one on Main Street.
-You're doing it, Adam. You're saving this town.
-Slow down there, honey... I don't want the vibration to weaken the model.
-This fire wasn't burning when we left the house.
-How's your arm?
-You'd better sit down, hon.
-I am sitting.
-I'll tell you what, Barbara. I don't think we survived that crash.
-You saved my -- uh -- life... or whatever... something.
-Two hours.
-What?
-That's how long you were gone.
-Anything happen while I was away?
-Handbook for the recently diseased.
-De<u>ceased</u>. I don't know where it came from.
-I don't think we survived the crash.
-I don't like situations like this. I hate it when I'm not in control. So just tell me the basics.
-This book isn't arranged that way. What do you want to know?
-There are a thousand things... Why did you disappear when you walked off the front porch? Is this a punishment? Are we halfway to heaven or are we halfway to hell? And how long is this going to <u>last</u>?
-Cabin fever, hon?
-I can't clean anything. The vacuum is out in the garage. I can't leave the house. Why don't they tell us something? Where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?
-Maybe this is heaven.
-In heaven there wouldn't be dust on the wallpaper.
-Hon... I didn't want to die, but really, this is fine with me. As long as I never have to wash dishes again.
-Dishes? We haven't eaten in three weeks! Adam, I'm not like you, I really need to be around <u>people</u>, get out to the church and go grocery shopping.
-God, it's Jane Butterfield!
-What's she doing here?
-She can't see you, right? In the book, Rule Number Two: the living usually won't see the dead.
-Won't? Or can't?
-Just says 'won't.' Wait a minute. Here it says 'the living are arrogant... they think they'll never die, so they refuse to see the dead.'
-Arrogant. That's Jane Butterfield all right...
-I guess... if I'm going to be dead, I'll just have to be the best dead person ever!
-Adam, we <u>are</u> in hell. I hate these people.
-They make gypsies look good.
-Is this a punishment for something we did in life? What can we do?
-I don't know if there's anything we can do.
-Oh, honey, we may need that.
-Barbara, honey! Don't go out there. You don't know --
-Oh, Adam, don't ever leave me alone.
-<u>You</u> left me.
-We're trapped in this house forever... with those... people.
-You can't say that for sure. It could be a transitional thing. Like a post-life crisis. We just have to be tougher with them. Come on. Have some brandy. Spirits, get it?
-Look in the index... maybe there's, like an emergency number or something.
-That's it? No number, or instructions?
-That little girl saw us.
-She couldn't have. We can't <u>make</u> them see us.
-But she <u>saw</u> us. I could feel it.
-There's nothing we can do. It's just a matter of time before they unlock this room. There goes my model. There goes our last refuge.
-We're not going to wait here like cornered animals. I can tell you that. We need help. I'm going to talk to that little girl.
-What about this Beetle guy?
-We don't know who he is... ... I'm going to talk to that little girl.
-Are you crazy? She can't hear you.
-I don't know... what are you looking up?
-We need some help. I found something this morning. Here. Emergencies. 'In case of emergency, draw door.'
-Yet another triumph for Adam and Barbara in the afterlife.
-... Not what I expected when we walked through that door.
-My God, we're back where we started.
-Look at this, everything is different down here. All our furniture is gone.
-We'd like some help in getting rid of the people who moved in here. Barbara and I worked very hard on this house.
-That guy is in our cemetery. Oh, Adam.
-God, this is so corny. Have we been reduced to this? Sheets?
-I feel really stupid.
-Well, I don't know... We don't get many visitors.
-Where are your skulls and bones?
-Lydia's trying, but they don't believe her.
-She's got <u>photos</u>, Barbara.
-Adam, you had a photo of Big Foot!
-Did you copy these gravestones right, Adam?
-Of course I did.
-Here's something.
-I didn't do that one... Hmmm.
-Go ahead... third time's a charm.
-What happened?
-Three times. Powerful number.
-Has anything been simple so far? From the look of the shovel, we dig.
-I guess we open it.
-She's only fourteen...
-Honey. Let's go.
-Go? What d'ya mean? We need help.
-Honey, I think that was a mistake.
-I am not going to expose that little girl to that... pervert down there.
-But <u>we</u> let him out.
-And your sushi was remarkable.
-The sushi? I did the wine. Didn't you do the sushi?
-N... No, I just did the Ink Spots.
-Maybe they'll leave now. That snake was a pretty nasty customer.
-He might have hurt somebody.
-<u>Adam</u>! Why did you build a whorehouse? Have you ever been to...?
-Lydia, believe me... we know... all the hard stuff is the same over here. You're going to be who you are... whether you're alive or dead ... and over here -- it's... It's flat... there's no food, no colors ... you can't smell the flowers. If we knew then what we know now we'd have been more careful...
-You know, I've been thinking. I could teach Lydia to sew.
-Little black party dresses?
-Ah, Adam, you don't know anything about little girls. She's just... missed out on some love, that's all...
-Let's see if she can get my model back.
-We've been given a gift here, honey. A real live little girl. She likes us a lot. She needs us. Maybe that's why we died so young, to keep us from getting so... attached to <u>things</u>. The house, antiques, your model. Look at us. We didn't have room for anyone.
-What...?
-What time is it?
-3:30 I guess.
-Oh, Adam, don't tease her. You never got an A in science in your life!
-A... Are you the guys who're hiding out in the attic?
-Aren't you scared?
-I'm not scared of Ralph Lauren. Those are <u>sheets</u>. Are you gross under there? Are you <u>Night of the</u> <u>Living Dead</u> under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?
-What?
-You can actually see us? Without the sheets?
-Nobody else can.
-Why are you creeping around Delia's bedroom?
-We were trying to scare your mother.
-<u>You</u> did this? You carved all these little figures and houses and things?
-I certainly did. I'd finish it too, but... I don't get out much.
-And this used to be your house, I bet. Why do you want to scare everybody?
-We want to frighten you away. So that you'll move out.
-We weren't there. The handbook says funerals aren't for the dead.
-You tell them that we are desperate horrible ghoulish creatures who will stop at nothing to get back our house.
-What is going on?
-Did you get the paint?
-We studied all day yesterday. Don't tell me...
-So can I?
-Uh-uh. Only if you got <u>above</u> a C on science.
-You don't have an appointment, do you?
-Nine months? What difference does that make?
-Good luck. You're going to use up all your help vouchers.
-Help vouchers?
-Wait for who?
-Aren't you dead?
-Hell no! I'm rolling. I'm a businessman. I'm the man what <u>am</u>. <u>Beee</u>tel <u>Jooose</u>! <u>Who</u> do I gotta kill?
-<u>So</u> you, the dead, want me, <u>the</u> <u>undead</u>, to throw the live guys -- Mommie, Daddy and Lolita, who might not mind a tumble with an older guy, out into the cold? Even though they have paid hard casharoonie for your dump?
-But... the Deetzes are <u>destroying</u> our house.
-You Maitlands are the backbone of the afterlife. So what's my cut?
-Okay. But that Betelgeuse sure seemed mad.
-This is <u>my</u> town.
-<u>Barbara</u>?!!
-Are you available?
-Hell is other people. You obviously don't read much. Besides things seem pretty quiet here. You should thank God you didn't die in Italy. The Deetzes. Okay. Have you been studying the manual?
-We tried.
-I heard. Tore your face right off! Bad news. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you.
-We have to start simpler, is that it?
-<u>Don't say his name</u>! Just practice. Do it <u>yourself</u>!
-Handbook? When...?
-<u>Never trust the living</u>! We <u>cannot</u> have a routine haunting like yours provide incontrovertible visual proof of existence beyond death.
-Yes... or no? Do you want the Deetzes out or in?
-All right. Who are you?
-We're...
-Just get some people out of our house.
-Bio-<u>busting</u>. I <u>loves</u> bio-busting. Who do I gotta kill? Family -- right? Obnoxious I bet. Mommie, daddy, piglets.
-Just one daughter.
-Folks, be reasonable here. I'm at your service. You be the judge. I'm a harmless guy. Try me.
-I don't like Charles Deetz particularly, but you could have <u>killed</u> him.
-You lilly-livered bleeding hearts!
-I'd nearly given up on you. I was about to leave. I do have other clients.
-Are you Juno, our case worker?
-Yes. I evaluate individual cases and determine if help is needed, deserved, and available.
-We're very unhappy.
--- Like you used to be?
-No.
-If... we have trouble. What about the guy in the flyer? Betelge...
-No, you don't! He does not work well with others.
-What do you mean? What's he do?
-He's a freelance bio-exorcist. Claims to get rid of the living. But he's a troublemaker. He's pushy. He's been sleazing around that cemetery for 500 years.
-Our cemetery?
-The whorehouse was my idea. I want Betelgeuse out of the picture! We've got some serious talking to do.
-About what?
-What about Betelgeuse?
-If I had seen a ghost at your age, I would have been frightened out of my wits.
-You're not gross. Why were you wearing a sheet?
-Tell the truth.
-We can't. We haven't left the house since the funeral.
-I don't wear that stuff to <u>bed</u>. Besides, there's <u>nothing</u> wrong with it. I'm getting out of here.
-I hate you! I can't trust anybody!
-He said if I let him out he would take me over to the other side to find you.
-No, Lydia, we're dead.
-I want to be dead too.
-No you don't! No... Lydia... Why?
-So, <u>never</u> let Beetle Juice out. Never. Besides... We're thinking about letting everyone stay... You and your father and mother can stay too.
-How'd you do on the science test?
-Hi, Barb! I'm glad I caught you. I heard you were on vacation!
-That's right, Jane. Complete vacation.
-Honey -- today I am three hundred <u>fifty</u> thousand dollars!
-No! Jane, it is 6:45 in the morning!
-Look at me, think of me as cash! This offer is really real! From a rich man in New York City who only saw a photograph!
-Jane, don't send photographs of our house around the country! We're not interested in selling.
-You could double the size of your hardware store! You'll be rich.
-And live in what, our station wagon?
-Oh, honey... I didn't mean anything ... it's just too big for you two. I know these things.
-Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? I've come for the last time. Where are you? Barb...
-Cookie, they are dead, dead, deadski.
-Of course they're dead. They're ghosts.
-No, I mean they've gone. Decamped. Split. Vanished.
-Where'd they go?
-The happy hunting ground. Who cares?
-Are you a spirit too?
-Sort of. High spirit. Heh heh. Listen, cookie, I've been trapped in this burg for hundreds of years. All I want is to get out.
-I want to get in.
-You do? Over here? On <u>my</u> side?
-I think so.
-Well, yes, of course. It's great over here. You'll meet all the greats. James Dean. Buddy Holly. 'The little things a you say and do... make me want to be with you-a-hoo.'
-Well, it can't be any worse than my life here.
-That's right. They treat you like scum I bet?
-Yeah.
-I can't help you from this side, but here's how we do it. So <u>simple</u>. Say my name three times. That's all. I'll be all yours. Then I'll bring you over here in style.
-I... I don't know what your name is.
-Minor problem. The rules. I can't tell it to you. But... do you know how to play charades?
-Yes.
-Three syllables.
-No, dummy. Two.
-I don't know what that signal means.
-Beetle!
-Breakfast beetle? Beetle? Beetle fruit? Fruit bat? Fruit battle? Volkswagen? Fruit wagon?
-I am <u>not</u>! Beetle... Juice?
-That's it!
-Your name is <u>Beetle Juice</u>? Yecch! That's as bad as <u>Deee</u>lia <u>Deee</u>tz.
-God, you're anatomically correct!
-Just <u>say</u> it.
-You were the snake! Right? I know. I saw you.
-You've <u>got</u> to say it!
-No I don't. I don't take orders from smurfs.
-How'd you like to have the biggest boobs in the world? Right now. I can do it if I get out.
-They'd look silly on me. I'm fourteen years old!
-So... You're ready for me now?
-You've got to help them.
-Can you help <u>me</u>?
-... I will.
-W... What is it?
-
-Your qu...? But you're...
-Yes, of course you are. Well, Otho had an intuition. Call it a hunch -- that it was going to be a fabled monstrosity of a house. And it certainly is. Charles, you're lucky the Yuppies are buying condos, so you can afford what I'm going to have to do to this place. We are talking <u>from the ground</u> <u>ups'ville</u>!
-Otho, you've got to help me get Maxie Dean up here. I have a deal that could make all of us very comfortable.
-He's a cloven-hooved beast!
-He's your cousin.
-Otho?
-It's <u>Otho</u>!
-I can't believe that we're eating Cantonese. Is there no Szechuan up here? Hunan?
-Lydia, at your age, you are <u>so</u> <u>young</u>. Charles, we need to call that awful Jane Butterfield tomorrow and get the key to the attic door. Can't you find a way to hold back some of her commission?
-I feel like we've been at war, Charles.
-At least insofar as we have our first casualty. Me.
-Otho'll know what to do.
-What's he going to do? Viciously rearrange their environment?
-Otho knows as much about the supernatural as he knows about interior decoration.
-Let's hope he knows how to produce those damn ghosts for Max and Sarah... Because I've bought options on property all over town. I need Max's financing...
-Just don't tell Lydia.
-Why not?
-They're probably guilty about what they did to me.
-What do you think, honey?
-Lydia, relax. We'll build you a darkroom in the basement.
-Yeah, maybe if he's nice, he'll let me hang myself from a rope in his barn.
-Where is your mother?
-Stepmother. She's out torturing the movers.
-I was just trying to open the door. Mrs. Butterfield brought over a skeleton key.
-Skeleton keys never work. Anyway, this can wait. We'll get a crowbar later. Your mother...
-Stepmother.
-What?
-Darling, can't you see I'm relaxing in here!
-Well I just wanted to tell you what I saw.
-Dad. Do you believe me?
-Yes. Except when you creep around in your mother's --
-Stepmother's...
-... sheets.
-Well this is... I mean, this is the weirdest --
-Lydia, I don't know what it is with you and these pratical jokes, but --
-The attic room is locked --
-Answer your mother.
-Look at all that <u>parking</u>!
-Now, let's get back to business. I want to get Maxie Dean and Sarah up here immediately. I can make history here! I'm going to turn this sleepy little backward town into a leading supernatural research center... and amusement park.
-I cannot believe this.
-I'll bring the wine... and the business plan. And Lydia you'll bring the ghosts.
-I can't <u>bring</u> the ghosts. They're not here!
-They're... not here anymore.
-Not <u>a building</u>! That's the beauty of it. I think I can buy the <u>whole town</u>. These people don't know the value of their property!
-Then we own a whole <u>town</u> full of nowhere.
-Just a minute, Maxie. Somebody...
-No listen... we'll talk about this visiting later, I gotta go, I gotta meeting on the Japanese joint venture.
-Great idea, Maxie! Those Japanese could <u>run</u> it for us. Build them a dormitory in the woods. Listen, think right about it, will you? We've almost got the house ready, you bring Sarah with you and I'll show you.
-I don't care from guilt. I just want to <u>see</u> them.
-Are they suffering?
-I plan to have a stroke from the amount of MSG that's in this food.
-We'll be <u>the</u> art center of summer New York. I'll teach those phony gallery creeps to refuse my sculpture. And when Otho and I get through with this house, you people are not going to recognize it.
-<u>You jerks</u>! That is my art, and it is <u>dangerous</u>! You think I want to die like that? Lydia. Moving is a family affair. So buckle down now and go get Mommy some drugs.
-Any particular kind?
-I can't believe you are doing this to me! <u>Ghosts</u>. I am giving a dinner party for seven people tonight. Otho has agreed to come back for the demolition of the attic. My agent, Bernard, is bringing some woman who writes for <u>Architectural Digest</u>. In fact, no one here tonight has not been in <u>Vanity Fair</u>. Except you.
-I <u>told</u> them you were too mean to be afraid.
-Don't you <u>dare</u>.
-Lydia tried to play a most amusing joke on me this afternoon.
-It wasn't a joke.
-I think the reason is they were trying to scare you, and you didn't get scared --
-All right, you dead people! Come on out, or we'll break down this door and drag you out on the ropes you hanged yourself with!
-Shhhh. They didn't commit suicide.
-Lydia, I will never forgive you for embarrassing me in front of my social inferiors. You help us with these ghosts or you'll be sorry.
-That was the single most unattractive window treatment I have ever seen in the entire of my existence.
-Is the rest of the house as bad as this?
-The rest of the house is probably worse. When can you and I get started?
-What's wrong?
-Okay?
-You read my <u>mind</u>! I love clients who can read my mind. I don't think people realize how strong a connection there is between interior decoration and the supernatural.
-<u>I know</u>... I read your book, <u>The</u> <u>Haunted Tapestries of the Waldorf</u>.
-What do you think?
-Viridian?
-Blue-green! Hydrated chromic oxide! Remember I'm schooled in chemistry. I was a hair analyst! Briefly. Interior design is a <u>science</u>, Delia! Think of me as Doctor Otho. And this patient is truly <u>sick</u>!
-<u>Oh my God</u>!
-Otho, I can<u>not</u> <u>live</u> with these cheap domestic floor tiles.
-Is there much more of this torture?
-That's Charles' study. But you don't have to even look in there. He'll love whatever you do to it. He's such a sheep.
-'I' will tell you what is boring. Once you cover up the wallpaper, knock down a few walls, alter the traffic patterns, and -- perhaps -- only perhaps -- think about an inground pool -- the place <u>might</u> just be livable. What's on the third floor?
-Attic space.
-You don't have a key?
-Maybe Charles does.
-I have a feeling there's some very interesting space behind this door.
-Now, Lydia... Favor us about your ghosts.
-<u>No</u>! Do not encourage this little... person.
-Oh, Delia, lighten up!
-It does indicate a marvelously urbane sense of humor on the part of these ghosts -- that they actually appear in <u>sheets</u>!
-Look at that <u>detail</u>!
-Are they still here, Otho?
-What's happening to them?
-Well there's a Little Deetz at least. Boy, when you city people do something, you do it right, don't you?
-Is this the key to the attic?
-Are we going to be seeing you at Miss Shannon's Boarding School?
-Yes, but I'm going to live at home.
-Hellooo! How's school?
-It's okay. How's the dirt business?
-It's bad luck. And I believe hugely in luck.
-Otho, that's terrible.
-They don't want to come down.
-All presences have a home space. A place where they live, so to speak. Where do they hide out?
-Perhaps if I were properly motivated.
-Wait a minute! What am I worried about? Otho, you can't even change a tire!
-Their wedding clothes.
-<u>Adam</u>! <u>Adam</u>!
-The injection will ease the pain and swelling, Mr. Gardiner.
-I understand. I've seen it done before.
-You were wrong, it did hurt.
-It's good that there was no apparent damage to the bone.
-Yes. I think so, too.
-However, with injuries such as this, I have run into minor hemorrhaging, which really isn't too serious at the time, but can cause secondary problems if not looked after.
-You can pull your trousers up, now.
-Oh, fine.
-Just to take the proper precautions, Mr. Gardiner, I'd recommend we take you downstairs and X-ray your leg. ... By the way, Mr. Gardiner, I would like to ask you something straight out.
-... Straight out?
-Yes. Are you planning on making any sort of claim against the Rand's?
-Claim...? ... Oh, claim, that's what Thomas asked me.
-Thomas? Who's Thomas?
-Thomas Franklin, an attorney.
-An attorney?
-Yes.
-Then you wish to handle this matter through your attorneys?
-There's no need for a claim, the garden is a healthy one.
-Oh, I see... ... Well, then... You're a very funny man, Mr. Gardiner. You caught me off guard, I must admit...
-Thank you.
-Good, keep your weight off that leg, Mr. Gardiner. In fact, it would be best if you could stay here for a day or two, if that would be would be possible. Since Benjamin became ill we have our own hospital downstairs. I can promise you the finest in care, unless, of course, you would prefer to go elsewhere.
-Yes, I could stay here. Thank you.
-Fine. Would you like me to speak to your personal physician?
-I'll send Wilson up to take you for X-rays, Mr. Gardiner. Feel free to use the telephone, and please let me know if you have any discomfort.
-... And please call me Robert.
-Chauncey, there you are. What are you doing on that leg?
-It's fine today, Robert.
-I swear, Chauncey, between you and Benjamin, I've got my hands full... ... Say, that is coming along, the swelling has gone down considerably... ... Any pain here?
-... Benjamin has been hounding me to allow him to address the annual meeting of his Financial Institute today, but obviously, the strain would be impossible... How about here, Chauncey, any soreness?
-... Were you going somewhere?
-No, Robert.
-... Oh. ... My God, I only wish that Benjamin had your recuperative powers... Anyway, the President offered to sit in for Ben at the meeting, quite a nice gesture, I felt. He's due here soon, I believe.
-Yes, Robert. I know about the President.
-... Oh? You've heard?
-Yes. Ben called me. He wants me to meet the President.
-He does, does he?
-Yes, Ben told me to be in his room at ten o'clock.
-Why, that's terrific, Chauncey.
-... It's five of, you'd best get on in there.
-I would like to walk today.
-Hell yes - walk. You're meeting the President, aren't you?
-... He's gone, Chauncey.
-Yes, Robert. I have seen it before. It happens to old people.
-Will you be leaving now, Robert?
-In a day or two, yes.
-Eve is going to stay. The house will not be closed.
-... You've become quite a close friend of Eve's - haven't you Mr... ... Chance...?
-Yes. I love Eve very much.
-I see... ... And you are really a gardener, aren't you?
-I know exactly what you mean. Today the businessman is at the mercy of kid-lawyers from the SEC. All they want to do is regulate our natural growth! It's happening across the country!
-To everyone, I'm afraid. The Government controls are so restricting that the Medical Profession, as we know it, is being legislated out of existence.
-... No, of course you don't. Excuse me for being so presumptuous. No man knows everything about another man - however, very few are honest enough to admit it.
-Some pain is to be expected... ... And I think what would be best for the two of you is a good night's rest. ... It's late, I'm afraid it's time for my patients to prepare for bed.
-And you, Benjamin, must be strong and brave for me. Turn over, please.
-No more, Robert... No more needles...
-It's not good, Ben - I'm sure you can feel it.
-Good God, Eve - you'll freeze out here.
-I wanted some fresh air, Robert. How is Mr. Gardiner?
-A rather large contusion, but I don't feel there is any serious damage. I'd like to keep an eye on him, though - I suggested that he stay here for a couple of days.
-Stay here? Is that necessary?
-Not necessary, but preferable. I don't think he'll be a bother, he seems like a most refreshing sort of man.
-Yes, he is different... Not the kind of person one usually meets in Washington.
-How true. Mr. Gardiner may be a welcome change of pace.
-He's very intense, and internal, don't you think?
-At times, yes. But that's not an uncommon reaction to such an accident. Actually, I found him to have quite a sense of humor.
-Good. It might be pleasant for a couple of days. ... Robert... Is there any improvement...?
-... Eve - this has been an exhausting day for Ben...
-... But he's...?
-... He walked off...
-... Do you think we should look for him?
-I don't think so, he should be along soon...
-We have to find him, Robert - he could be lost, something may have happened, we can't leave him!
-You really care for him, don't you, Eve?
-I do - we do - both of us, Ben and I feel so much for Chauncey...
-... And he told us that he had been living there since he was a child, working as a gardener. He showed us a room in the garage, where he said he stayed, and I... Well, I didn't really believe him, of course - but why the act?
-I have no idea...
-Another thing that baffles me, Doctor - what was his connection with the deceased? Major financial dealings, obviously - but our firm has no record of any such transactions.
-Hmmm. You say he showed you his garden?
-Well, he said it was his, he walked us through it.
-I see. Mr. Franklin, I must ask you and Miss Hayes to keep this incident with Mr. Gardiner to yourselves. There's no telling what he was involved in, and the matter may be extremely confidential. So please, not a word.
-Of course, Doctor, I understand.
-Fine. Thank you, Mr. Franklin.
-Gentlemen, I didn't call you here at such an hour to make accusations, I just want to explore the possibilities. Now, I have three questions; Is the man a foreign agent? Or, have we suddenly found that our methods of gathering data are grossly inefficient? Or, thirdly, have the man's files been destroyed? Now, I'd like some answers.
-Gardiner is not a foreign agent, there are now sixteen countries investigating the man. We can rule that out.
-I don't think that's entirely true, Grover.
-And what do the boys around Intelligence think?
-Well, Mr. President... They don't quite know what to think.
-Do you know Raphael?
-No sir, I don't believe I do.
-Oh. I have a message for him.
-Yes, sir.
-A Black man gave me the message.
-I understand. I've never seen anything like this on television.
-Mr. Gardiner, I have a telephone call for you. Sidney Courtney, the financial editor of the Washington Post.
-Thank you.
-Would you care to take it, sir?
-Oh, Mr. Gardiner, I've been looking all over.
-Oh, yes.
-Morton Hull, the producer of 'This Evening' just called.
-Yes, I have seen that show on television.
-Of course. They would like you to appear on the show tonight. The Vice President was scheduled, but he had to cancel, and they asked if you would be interested.
-Yes. I would like to be on that show.
-Fine. They felt that since you had such close ties with the President, you would be a splendid choice. ... Can I help you? Are you looking for something?
-... Won't you let us do something for you? Your leg should be examined, we could take you to a hospital.
-There's no need for a hospital.
-I hope you're comfortable.
-Yes. I am.
-These can be such trying situations everyone seems to make such a to-do over a simple little accident. Of course, they can be very frightening, and I must apologize for David, he's never had an accident before.
-Yes. He's a very careful driver.
-... Why, yes, he is... Is your leg feeling any better?
-It's feeling better, but it's still very sore.
-I see. ... Say, would you mind seeing our family doctor?
-Your family doctor?
-Yes. My husband has been very ill. His doctor and nurses are staying with us. Those hospitals can be so impersonal - why, it might be hours before you are treated...
-I agree.
-Would you care for a drink?
-I would like to watch television.
-Oh, by the way - I'm Eve Rand.
-May I ask your name?
-My name is Chance.
-Pardon me, was that Mr. Chance?
-No. I'm a gardener.
-Oh... Mr. Gardiner... Mr. Chauncey Gardiner... You're not related to Basil and Perdita Gardiner are you?
-No, Eve. I'm not related to Basil and Perdita.
-Did you lose something?
-Yes. I lost my remote control.
-... I'll feel so relieved after Dr. Allenby examines your leg. After that, David can run you on home, or to your office or wherever you'd prefer... ... Is there anything special you would like to watch?
-I can see that it must be very important for you to stay informed of all the latest events.
-Yes.
-Won't your injury prevent you from attending to business, Mr. Gardiner?
-No. It won't do that.
-... Would you like us to notify anyone for you?
-I hope that staying here won't be an inconvenience for you.
-Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes enjoy puttering around myself, such a pleasant way to forget one's troubles.
-Chauncey, I wanted to tell you how dreadful I feel about the accident today, but that I'm delighted that you are staying with us.
-Thank you, Eve - I like this house very much.
-... And Ben is just mad about you - you've lifted his spirits so - it's just... Well, it's just a real pleasure having you with us.
-Ben is very ill, Eve - I've seen that before.
-Yes... I know, Chauncey.
-I like Ben very much... He reminds me of the Old Man...
-He does...?
-... Why... No, I don't think so...
-... Good night, Chauncey.
-Chauncey!
-Hello, Eve.
-Your leg must be getting better.
-Yes. It's feeling much better now.
-Good. I'm glad to hear that. ... How did you like meeting the President?
-Fine. He's very nice.
-... Chauncey... Last night you mentioned an old man, that died.
-Yes.
-Was he a relative? Or an intimate friend?
-He was a very wealthy man, he looked after me since I was young.
-Oh, I see... Your mentor, perhaps?
-Forgive me, Chauncey - I didn't mean to pry. You must have been very close to him.
-Yes. I was.
-I'm sorry... ... And what about Louise? YOU mentioned that she had gone, were you close to her also?
-Yes. I liked Louise very much. She was his maid.
-Oh, his maid!... Stupid me, I thought perhaps she was someone that you may have been romantically involved with.
-Oh, no. She brought me my meals.
-What is that?
-Our greenhouse.
-Oh, I like that very much.
-... I'm... ... I'm very grateful that you're here, Chauncey... ... With us ...
-I'll be all right, Chauncey you go ahead with Mrs. Aubrey...
-Chauncey...
-Hello, Eve.
-Chauncey, I just wanted to wish you well. I know you'll be smashing.
-Thank you, Eve.
-And Benjamin sends along his best wishes.
-How is Ben feeling?
-He's tired, Chauncey - but he's going to watch you tonight. We'll both be watching.
-That's good. I like to watch, too.
-... You don't happen to have a tuxedo in your suitcase, do you?
-No, thank you.
-Oh. Well, we can fix up one of Ben's for you tomorrow night. Sophie insists an Black Tie.
-I see.
-... Good night, Chauncey.
-Chauncey! Have you seen the papers?
-No, Eve. I don't read the papers.
-Well, it seems you've been described as one of the architects of the President's speech. And your own comments from the 'This Evening' show are quoted side by side with the President's.
-I like the President. He is a very nice man.
-I know... ... So are you, Chauncey ... ... Do you mind my being here, like this?
-... You know, Chauncey... I want us to be... I want us... You and I to become... close... I want us to become very close, you know...?
-... I'm grateful to you, Chauncey... I would have opened to you with a touch, and you know that... ... But you're so strong - I can trust myself with you. I'm glad, Chauncey - I'm glad that you showed so much restraint...
-Yes, Eve. I'm very glad that you didn't open.
-I know you are, Chauncey... ... You conquer a woman from within herself, you infuse in her the need and desire and the longing for your love.
-Yes. That could be true.
-I've never seen anyone handle the media as well as you, Chauncey. You're so cool and detached - almost as if you were born to it.
-Yes.
-Chauncey, this is Mr. Dennis Watson of the State Department.
-Chauncey, where have you been? I was afraid you got bored and left, or that you were with some mysterious woman.
-No. I was with a man. We went upstairs.
-Upstairs? Chauncey, you're always involved in some sort of discussion...
-He was very ill, I stayed with him for a while.
-I feel so close to you, so safe with you, Chauncey... ... And Benjamin understands that, dearest... He understands and accepts my feelings for you...
-Yes, Eve. Ben is very wise.
-... Come in, Chauncey - please come in...
-I just don't excite you at all... I don't know what you want... I don't know what you like...
-I like to watch.
-To watch...? To watch me...?
-Yes. I like to watch.
-... Is that all you want...? ... To watch me...?
-Yes. It's very good, Eve.
-Dearest, you uncoil my wants; desire flows within me, and when you watch me my passion dissolves it. You set me free. I reveal myself to myself and I am drenched and purged.
-Chauncey! Chauncey!
-Oh, Chauncey, darling... Where have you been? We thought we'd lost you - we've been looking all over!
-Hello, Mr. Gardiner. This is Sid Courtney, Washington Post.
-Hello, Sid.
-I'm sorry to disturb you, Mr. Gardiner, I know you must be very busy.
-No. I'm not busy.
-Then, I'll be brief. I covered the President's speech at the Financial Institute today, and since the Post would like to be as exact as possible, we would appreciate your comments on the meeting that took place between Mr. Rand, the President and yourself.
-The President is a nice person. I enjoyed it very much.
-Good, sir. And so, it seems, did the President - but we would like to have some facts; such as, uh... What exactly is the relationship between yourself and that of the First American Financial Corporation?
-I think you should ask Mr. Rand that.
-Of course. But since he is ill I'm taking the liberty of asking you.
-I see. Then one more quick question, Mr. Gardiner; since we at the Post would like to, uh - update our profile on you - what exactly is your business?
-Mr. Gardiner, I'm Morton Hull, the producer of 'This Evening.'
-Of course, Mr. Gardiner, the fact that you occupy such a position in the world of finance makes you ideally suited to provide our millions of viewers with an explanation of this nation's economic crisis.
-I see.
-Do you realize, Mr. Gardiner, that more people will be watching you tonight than all those who have seen theater plays in the last forty years?
-Yes. It's a very good show.
-Can you see well?
-Yes, very well, thank you.
-Do you like it?
-Yes. It's very tiny, but it's good.
-... Are you sure you like it?
-Yes, I do, it's very good.
-Do you need a doctor? I could call Robert...
-I don't want Robert.
-I see.
-You must sit with us, my friend, we have much to discuss.
-I agree.
-Regretfully, Mrs. Rand - I shall yield the pleasure of your company to others.
-I'm sorry we haven't met sooner, Mr. Gardiner. I had the pleasure of seeing you on television last night and I listened with great interest to your down-to-earth philosophy. I'm not surprised that it was so quickly endorsed by the President. ... Tell me, Mr. Gardiner, just how serious is Benjamin's illness? I did not want to upset Mrs. Rand by discussing it in
-Ben is very ill.
-... Mr. Gardiner, I wish to be quite candid - considering the gravity of your economic situation, shouldn't we, the diplomats, and you, the businessman - get together more often?
-Yes, I agree, I think so too.
-To exchange our thoughts - what does a Russian know about business? On the other hand, what does an American know about diplomacy?
-Yes, I understand.
-And I have noticed in you a certain reticence regarding political issues - so why not a coming together? An interchange of opinion? We may find, my friend, that we are not so far from each other, not so far!
-We are not far... ... our chairs almost touch.
-Bravo! Bravo! Our chairs are indeed almost touching! And we want to remain seated on them, correct? We don't want them snatched from under us, am I right? Because if one goes, the other goes, and then - boom! Boom! And we are both down before our time, you see? And neither of us wants that, do you agree?
-I certainly do.
-Yes. Tell me, Mr. Gardiner - do you by any chance enjoy Krylov's fables? I ask this because there is something... there is something Krylovian about you.
-Do you think so? Do you think so?
-So you know your Krylov in Russian, do you? Mr. Gardiner, I must confess I had suspected as much all along - I know an educated man when I meet one!
-Oh, good.
-Yes, it is very good!
-Yes, it is. Would you tell me your name again, please?
-Ho! Ho! A dash of American humor! Vladimar Skrapinov!
-Yes. I like that name very much.
-Yes, Eve. That would be good.
-We must speak again, Mr. Gardiner, many times!
-Welcome to Rand Memorial Hospital, Mr. Gardiner.
-I feel very good in here.
-Sure you do. This ward is air tight, I have a little extra oxygen pumped in, keeps my spirits up.
-Failure of the bone marrow to produce red blood cells... Not a damn thing they can do about it. Oh, they can make me comfortable, prolong my life with steroid therapy and transfusions... And what makes my blood boil, what little I have left, that is, Mr. Gardiner - is that it's generally a young person's disease... Here I am, getting on in years
-... We're prisoners, Mr. Gardiner - we're prisoners of tubes and technology.
-I agree.
-... You will join us for dinner, won't you, Mr. Gardiner?
-Yes. I am very hungry.
-No, thank you. My house has been closed.
-Oh. When you say 'Your house has been closed', you mean to say that your business was shut down?
-Yes. Shut down and locked by the attorneys.
-That's good, Mr. Gardiner. Or may I call you Chauncey?
-Yes. Chauncey is fine.
-Do we have a garden? Hah! Tomorrow, Chauncey, you will see our gardens.
-A gardener! Well put, Chauncey excellent! Isn't that what a businessman is? A gardener? A person that makes flinty soil productive with the labor of his own hands, who waters it with the sweat from his own brow, and who creates a place of value for his family and community? Yes, Chauncey, what a brilliant metaphor -- yes, indeed, a productive businessman is a
-Thank you, Ben. The garden that I left was such a place. Everything which grew there was with the labor of my own hands. I planted seeds and watered them and watched everything grow.
-Bravo!
-But I don't have that any more... ... All that's left for me now is the room upstairs.
-It's a very pleasant room, Ben.
-No, Ben.
-Reluctant to speak, eh, Chauncey? Well, I can understand that. When a man loses everything, anger has a tendency to block out reason for a time. Just give it some thought, work with the idea, I'm sure you'll have plenty to say in a few days.
-I could give it some thought, Ben, but my leg is very sore.
-Chauncey, up and around this morning, are you?
-Yes, Ben. My leg is not very sore.
-Well, that's good news, my boy.
-You're looking much better today, Ben.
-Hah! It's all make-up, Chauncey... I asked nurse Teresa to fix me up, I didn't want the President to think I was going to die during our talk.
-I understand.
-No one likes a dying man, my boy - because few know what death is. All we know is the terror of it. But you're an exception, Chauncey - that's what I admire in you, your marvelous balance. You don't stagger back and forth between fear and hope - you're a truly peaceful man.
-Yes, when I was younger I had thoughts about public office... But I found, Chauncey - that I was able to contribute more as a private citizen... of course, my wealth provided me with considerable influence, but I've tried, believe me, not to misuse that power... It's extremely important, Chauncey, when one is in a position of eminence, that he does not allow himself
-I see, Ben.
-I think what my most insightful friend is saying, Mr. President, is that we welcome the inevitable seasons of nature, yet we are upset by the seasons of our economy.
-He's a decent fellow, the President, isn't he?
-Yes, Ben - he is.
-He was quite impressed with your comments, Chauncey - he hears my sort of analysis from everyone, but yours, unfortunately - seldom if ever at all.
-... You know, Chauncey, there's something about you... You're direct, you grasp things quickly and you state them plainly. You don't play games with words to protect yourself. I feel I can speak to you frankly... You know what I was talking to you about last night?
-No, Ben.
-Oh, sure you do, the financial assistance program. I think you might be just the man to take charge of such an undertaking. I'd like you to meet with the members of the Board, we'll be able to discuss the matter at greater length at that time.
-I understand.
-And, please, Chauncey - don't rush your decision. I know you're not a man to act on the spur of the moment.
-Thank you, Ben.
-Certainly, Ben.
-Senator Rowley's widow, Sophie, is hosting an evening reception tomorrow evening honoring Ambassador Skrapinov of the Soviet Union... I think it's rather obvious that Robert won't allow me to attend, so - would you go in my place, and escort Eve?
-Yes. I would like to escort Eve.
-... Chauncey... Chauncey...
-... I'm about to surrender the Horn of Plenty for the Horn of Gabriel, my boy...
-Oh, I see.
-Let me feel the strength in your hand, Chauncey... Let me feel your strength... Yes, that's good... I hope, Chauncey - I hope that you'll stay with Eve... Take care of her, watch over her, she's a delicate flower, Chauncey...
-A flower...
-She cares for you and she needs your help, Chauncey... there's much to be looked after...
-Yes. I would like to do that.
-We could do it now, we can go upstairs. ... Please, it's time for us. Come upstairs.
-I like to watch.
-Watch? You mean just watch me? Doing it alone?
-Yes. I like to watch very much.
-Well, if that's what you want, then I want it too. We can go this way.
-I want to tell Eve.
-Tell Eve? You mean Mrs. Rand?
-Yes.
-Mr. Gardiner, I'm Ronald Stiegler, of Harvard Books.
-Hello, Ronald.
-Mr. Gardiner, my editors and I have been wondering if you'd consider writing a book for us? Something on your political philosophy. What do you say?
-I can't write.
-Of course, who can nowadays? I have trouble writing a post card to my children! Look, we could give you a six figure advance, provide you with the very best ghostwriter, research assistants, proof readers...
-I can't read.
-Of course not! No one has the time to read! One glances at things, watches television...
-Yes. I like to watch.
-Sure you do! No one reads!... Listen, book publishing isn't exactly a bed of roses these days...
-May I help you, Mr. Gardiner?
-Yes. I would like to go to Rand Memorial Hospital.
-... Sir?
-... Did you wish to see someone, sir?
-Yes, I would like to see Ben.
-Mr. Chance, I'm very pleased to meet you.
-... Then you really are a gardener?
-Yes.
-Your appearance doesn't suggest that at all, Mr. Chance.
-What about money?
-Some pictures...?
-Yes. Of men and women.
-How about taxes, Mr. Chance, surely you must have paid taxes?
-Might you have a birth certificate, Mr. Chance?
-I am allowed to go to the attic and select any of the Old Man's suits. They all fit me very well. I can also take his shirts, shoes and coats.
-It is quite amazing how those clothes have come back into style.
-Good day, Mr. Chance.
-This is terrible, sir - I hope you're not badly injured...
-Can you walk? It's not broken, is it?
-I don't think we should call anyone just yet, it may not even be all that serious.
-I agree.
-Let's have a look, do you mind?
-It's starting to swell, is it painful?
-Please, sir.
-I've never ridden in an automobile.
-I assure you, sir, David is a very careful driver. Please, won't you let us take you?
-... Yes. You can take me.
-... My suitcase.
-Does it have a television?
-No - but Mr. Rand does have one with an electric motor, that way he can get around by himself.
-How long do we stay in here?
-... That is a very small room.
-Yes sir, I guess that's true smallest room in the house.
-... Hmmm... Elevator.
-... Evening, Chance.
-... The Old Man is getting weaker, Chance.
-I see.
-... Back up those stairs - damn... That Man's needin' me more and more just before he never needs me again...
-Good morning, Louise.
-He's dead, Chance! The Old Man's dead!
-... I see.
-Must of happened durin' the night, I don't know... Lord, he wasn't breathin' and as cold as a fish. I touched him, just to see, and you believe me, Chance - that's doin' more than I get paid to do... Then I just covered him up, pulled the sheet over his head...
-Yes. I've seen that done.
-Then I got the hell out of that room and called the doctor and I think I woke him probably, he wasn't any too alert. He just said, 'Yeah, he's been expectin' it and said he'd send somebody over...' Lord, what a mornin'!
-Dammit, Boy! Is that all you got to say? More gobbledegook? That Old Man's layin' up there dead as hell and it just don't make any difference to you!
-Yes, Louise. I have seen it often. It happens to old people.
-Well, ain't that the truth...
-Oh, Lord, Chance - I don't know what I was expectin' from you... I'm sorry for yellin' like I did... No sir, I just don't know what I was expectin' ... ... I 'spose I'd better gather up some breakfast for you...
-Yes, I'm very hungry.
-Well, no more stewin' those prunes every mornin', that's somethin', I guess... ... what are you goin' to do now, Chance?
-... Well, ain't you the gentleman this mornin'... ... gotta go now, Chance...
-Yes.
-Mr. Gardiner, how very nice to have you with us this evening.
-Yes.
-I'd like to thank you for filling in on such short notice for the Vice President.
-You're welcome.
-I always find it surprising, Mr. Gardiner, to find men like yourself, who are working so intimately with the President, yet manage to remain relatively unknown.
-Yes. That is surprising.
-... Well, your anonymity will be a thing of the past from now on.
-I hope so.
-Yes... Of course, you know, Mr. Gardiner, that I always prefer an open and frank conversation with my guests, I hope you don't object to that.
-No. I don't object.
-Fine, then let's get started. The current state of our country is of vital interest to us all, and I would like to know if you agree with the President's view of the economy?
-Come now, Mr. Gardiner, before his speech at the Financial Institute the President consulted with you and Benjamin Rand, did he not?
-Yes. I was there with Ben.
-I know that, Mr. Gardiner.
-Yes.
-Well, let me rephrase the question; the President compared the economy of this country to a garden, and stated that after a period of decline a time of growth would naturally follow. Do you go along with this belief?
-Don't we need a leader capable of guiding us through the seasons? The bad as well as the good?
-Well, Mr. Gardiner, from the sound of our audience, I'd say that your words are a most welcome respite from what we've been hearing from others...
-I'm sorry to say that our time is running short, but before we close, I'd like to ask one final question. What sort of gardener, sir, would you be?
-Hello, Thomas... I'm Chance, the gardener.
-... We're with Franklin, Jennings and Roberts, the law firm handling the estate.
-... Are you waiting for someone? An appointment?
-Yes. I'm waiting for my lunch.
-Your lunch? You have a luncheon appointment here?
-Yes. Louise will bring me lunch.
-Louise?... The maid?... But she should have left earlier today...
-I see...
-... You've quite a sense of humor, Mr. Chance - but all kidding aside, may I ask just what you are doing here?
-I live here.
-You live here? ... We don't have any record of that.
-Yes. It's very cold outside today, isn't it, Thomas?
-... How long have you been living here?
-Ever since I can remember, since I was a child.
-Since you were a child?
-Do you have any proof of your employment, Mr. Chance - any checks from the deceased, any contracts or documents?
-No.
-How were you compensated for these duties you say you performed?
-Compensated...?
-How were you paid?
-Mr. Chance, perhaps you could show us some identification with your address -- a Driver's License, a credit card, checkbook?
-No, I do not have any of those.
-Then how about medical records? Could you give us the name of your doctor, or your dentist?
-I have no need for a doctor or dentist. I have never been ill. I have never been allowed outside of this house, and, except for Joe, I have never had any visitors.
-... Joe? Who's Joe?
-Joe Saracini. He was a mason that did some repairs on the brickwork at the rear of the house. That was in 1952.
-1952...?
-Mr. Chance, that was twenty-seven years ago.
-Yes and the Old Man used to come to my garden. He would read and rest there.
-Come now, Mr. Jennings had been bedridden for thirty-five years, since he fractured his spine.
-Yes, Thomas, that is correct. Then he stopped visiting my garden.
-... We shall need some proof of your having resided here, Mr. Chance.
-Have you served in the Army?
-Those trees were very young when I first arrived.
-Are you related to the deceased, Mr. Chance?
-... Do you drive this, Mr. Chance?
-The Old Man gave me nice television sets, this one has remote control. He has one just like it.
-Mr. Chance, the fact remains that we have no information of your having any connection with the deceased.
-What are your plans now, Mr. Chance?
-Mr. Chance, assuming what you say is the truth, I would like to know what sort of claim you are planning to make against the deceased's estate.
-I'm fine, Thomas. The garden is a healthy one. There is no need for a claim.
-No, Thomas. I don't know how to sign.
-Come now, Mr. Chance.
-I have no claim, Thomas.
-But you won't sign, correct?
-Correct.
-Very well, Mr. Chance - if you insist on dragging this matter on... But I must inform you this house will be closed tomorrow at noon. If indeed, you do reside here, you will have to move out.
-Move out? I don't understand, Thomas.
-Good morning, Mr. President.
-You look much taller on television, Mr. President.
-Well, Mr. Gardiner, that's just fine with me - I'm a man that appreciates a frank discussion... Be seated, please, Mr. Gardiner...
-Yes, I will.
-Do you agree with Ben, Mr. Gardiner? Are we finished? Or do you think we can stimulate growth through temporary incentives?
-As long as the roots are not severed, all is well and all will be well in the garden.
-... In the garden?
-That is correct. In a garden, growth has its season. There is spring and summer, but there is also fall and winter. And then spring and summer again...
-Yes. It has.
-... You will honor me and my family with a visit, won't you?
-Yes. I will.
-... Gardiner is laconic, matter-of fact. The scuttlebutt is that he's a strong candidate for one of the vacant seats on the board of First American. But before we can do any sort of a piece on the man, we're going to need facts on his background... ... Kinney, what did you come up with?
-... Nothing.
-... Skip the levity, Kinney - what have you got?
-... Sid, be reasonable - I've been everywhere, there's no place left to check!
-Try again.
-Sure, try again - where? There's nothing, it's like he never existed!
-Try again.
-Sid, it's useless!
-Oh, Ben - I miss you so when I'm out... How are you feeling?
-Tired... And I'm getting tired of being so tired. Other than that, I'm doing very well.
-No headaches?
-No, it's been a good day - better than yours, from what I've been told.
-You heard?
-I may be a shut-in, but I do not lack for news. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.
-Oh, it wasn't all that bad, darling. We were fortunate that Mr. Gardiner turned out to be so reasonable.
-Reasonable? Good, I'd like to meet a reasonable man. Why don't you ask this Gardiner to join us for dinner?
-Do you feel well enough for that?
-Oh. I'm very sorry. Well, if you have any need for any of our facilities, please do not hesitate to ask.
-I'm becoming quite attached to Chauncey - quite attached... ... And so are you, aren't you, Eve.
-... Yes, I am, Ben.
-... Ben, really...
-Good evening, Mrs. Rand.
-Good evening, Wilson.
-I shall take the gentleman to the third floor guest suite, ma'am. Dr. Allenby is standing by.
-Thank you, Greta. I'll be with Mr. Rand if I'm needed.
-Yes, ma'am.
-Eve, child! How nice of you to come.
-And look who you brought with!
-Sophie, this is Chauncey Gardiner...
-Oh, I've been just dying to meet you, Mr. Gardiner!
-Come on, Eve. Let's let the men talk, there are so many people that have been asking about you.
-... How are the kids getting along?
-Oh. Well, I just talked to Cindy this morning. She loves California, but to quote her, she says, 'The Secret Service is getting to be a drag.' I guess she wants her privacy...
-Huh... I'm glad they're along with her, if you know what I mean... How about Jack?
-Well, I think Jack needs some time alone with you, darling... He's getting to that age, you know... He really misses you...
-... Maybe you should talk to somebody, darling.
-No, that won't do any good.
-... Is it me? Is there something I've done?
-Oh, no, sweetheart - it's not you...
-It's your damn job. It never happened when you were a senator...
-I can certainly understand that...
-... This is another world, Tom - I never would have believed it...
-Yeah... He and my father used to ride together back in the thirties... Fox hunting... Before I was born...
-... Would you take me on a tour?
-... What do you make of all this?
-I really don't know, Tom - he seems so honest and simple... In a way, he's quite charming...
-... Yeah...
-... It's very bizarre - I don't know what to think...
-It's that gardener!
-Yes, Chauncey Gardiner.
-No! He's a real gardener!
-... Business, bullshit! Going out in the middle of the night to meet that bitch in a bar...
-Sally Hayes is not a bitch - she's a damn fine attorney! I've got to talk to her about this Gardiner...
-Good night.
-Look, Johanna...
-Yes? What have you found?
-We have nothing on him, Ambassador Skrapinov.
-Quietly, please. Mr. Gardiner, for one, understands our language.
-Sorry, Comrade Ambassador.
-What do you mean there is nothing? That's impossible.
-But... Where was this man Gardiner before last week?
-Apparently the White House shares our curiosity - they have also launched an investigation, and, according to our sources, neither the F.B.I. nor the C.I.A. has met with success.
-I see. Clearly, such interest on their part is of great political significance.
-Clearly, yes comrade.
-Hmmm... Take this down. I want this quote included in the Tass coverage; 'Chauncey Gardiner, in an intimate discussion with Ambassador Skrapinov, noted that "Unless the leaders of the opposing political systems move the chairs on which they sit closer to each other, all of their seats will be pulled from under them by rapid social and political changes."'
-Kaufman, I'm going to need information on Mr. Chauncey Gardiner's background.
-Gardiner, yes, sir.
-And put it through on a Code Red - I want it as soon as possible.
-... Gentlemen, I quoted this man on national television today he is obviously a financial sophisticate of some reknown.
-Yes, sir - we are aware of all that, but still, we haven't been able to...
-He's an advisor and close personal friend of Rand's! For Christ sakes, they have volumes of data on Benjamin!
-Yes, Mr. President, we attempted to contact Mr. Rand, but he was too ill to...
-I do not want Benjamin Rand disturbed! You have other ways of gathering information than to trouble a dying man. Use whatever agencies are necessary to put together a detailed history of Chauncey Gardiner, if you run into problems, alert Honeycutt. I'll be in the office at seven in the morning and I would like to have it at that time. I've got to
-This is not what I requested.
-No, sir.
-This information goes back three days. I want the standard file, you know that.
-Right, Chief.
-So...? Where the hell is it?
-We... uh, have been unable to come up with any information before the man appeared at Mr. Rand's home ... and, uh...
-What the hell are you talking about, Kaufman?
-Well, we do have data from Honeycutt's sources, Chief - but it isn't pertinent.
-I'd like to hear that data, Kaufman.
-... So what does all that add up to?
-Well, sir - it occurred to us that he might be an agent of a foreign power. But, we ruled that out, as they invariably are provided with too much documentation, too much American identity... We, uh...don't quite know what to make of it yet, sir... But we'll keep on top of it, Mr. President - we'll come up with the answer.
-Sorry to disturb you, chief but we have new developments.
-Oh? What?
-We have word that the Soviets have put out a top priority alert for information on Gardiner's background. So far, they haven't come up with a thing - what's more, as a result of their eagerness, one of their ablest agents blew his cover, we have him in custody at this time.
-Good. Anything else?
-The rank-and-file in the FBI feel he is FBI, but others feel he is a CIA man who knows how to destroy FBI files.
-That could be possible...
-But we are quite certain, comrade, that this man Gardiner is a leading member of an American elitist faction planning a coup d'etat.
-A coup d'etat! Of course, that was foreseen by Lenin himself!
-That is correct, Comrade Skrapinov. We have ascertained that Gardiner heads a big-business power group that will soon be taking over the American government.
-Big business. I could work with that faction quite nicely, Colonel Novogrod.
-You have proven that already, Comrade Skrapinov, you are to be congratulated for recognizing the importance of this man and establishing an early friendship.
-Thank you, Colonel.
-Ben!
-... Mr. President, how good to see you.
-It's so good to see you too, Ben, you look terrific!
-I'm not convinced of that, Mr. President, but your visit has raised my spirits...
-Mr. President, I'd like you to meet my dear friend, Mr. Chauncey Gardiner.
-I just wondered if you had gone over my speech, Ben.
-Yes, I did.
-... Well?
-Overall - pretty good. But, Mr. President, I think it's very dangerous to resort to temporary measures at this stage of the game.
-Well, Ben... I...
-I sympathize with your position, Mr. President, I know how difficult it is to be straightforward, the reaction to such a speech could be chaos.
-... There is no longer any margin for inflation, it has gone as far as it can, you've reached your limits on taxation, dependence on foreign energy has reached a crisis, and, from where I see it, Mr. President, the Free Enterprise System has reached the breaking point. We are on the brink of another crash from which recovery might not be possible.
-It's that serious, huh?
-No, she flew up to Boston for another charity event. She'll be sorry to have missed you.
-I'm sorry, too. Well, Nancy wanted me to send along her best to the two of you - and, Ben, I want to thank you for your time and thoughts.
-Nonsense, Mr. President - I thank you for coming to spend time with a dying man.
-You're right, Mr. President I don't like feeling sorry for myself.
-Take care of yourself, Ben.
-You take care too, Bobby.
-John! Great to see you! Sorry about the cunt at reception.
-I'll get right to the point, Larry. I'm a puppet now...
-Okay.
-I'm being controlled by the world's greatest puppeteer, Craig Schwartz...
-Oh yeah, he's good.
-Say, aren't you that actor guy?
-Yeah.
-Malkovich.
-Thank you.
-The one where you're that jewel thief.
-I never played a jewel thief.
-Who am I thinking of?
-I don't know.
-I'm pretty sure it was you. Hey, could I get your autograph now? It's for .... oh, what the hell, it's for me! I'm your biggest fan!
-Hello, I'm here about the ad.
-When you say, I can be somebody else, what do you mean exactly?
-Exactly that. We can put you inside someone else's body for fifteen minutes.
-Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thousand times, thank you!
-Tell your friends.
-Morning.
-Gotta run. Shipment of grub worms coming in first thing.
-Enjoy.
-Craig, listen, honey, I've been thinking... maybe you'd feel better if you got, you know, a job or something.
-We've been over this. Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.
-Well, you know, maybe something else until this whole puppet thing turns around.
-The Great Mantini doesn't need a day job.
-Craig, everyone can't be Derek Mantini. Well, grub worms are waiting. Do me a favor?
-What?
-Would you check in on Elijah? He seems to be a little under the weather this morning.
-Which one is Elijah again?
-The monkey.
-Is the trial date set?
-Why'd you do it, Craig?
-Why, Craig. why?
-Isn't that cute? I just taught her that.
-Adorable. What time are they supposed to be here?
-Seven-ish
-We have to make it an early night.
-They'll understand. Besides I've got a morning appointment tomorrow with Elijah's shrink. We're getting to the bottom of this acid stomach.
-Hmmm.
-Some sort of childhood trauma, she thinks. Possible feelings of inadequacy as a chimp. Interesting, huh?
-Yeah, just an idea I had.
-She's very beautiful.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Did you eat?
-Nah. I'm not hungry. I'm sorry I didn't call. It was just, you know, hard to get away.
-I was worried.
-I'm sorry. How was your evening?
-Tom-Tom's puncture wound is infected.
-The ferret?
-The iguana.
-Right.
-I dressed the wound. Then I've just been feeding everyone, putting everyone to bed.
-Yeah. You want a beer?
-No thanks. I'm going to turn in.
-All right. I'll be in my workshop for a little while. I'll be in in a little while. I need to unwind a little. I'll be in soon. A little while.
-Don't be ridiculous. There is no such thing as a portal into someone else's brain.
-Brain. soul, I'm telling you, Lotte. I was right inside him looking out. We're going to be rich.
-I want to try.
-What?
-I want to be John Malkovich. Tomorrow morning. Plus I'd like to meet this partner of yours.
-Well, you know we're going to be very busy tomorrow. I'll tell you what. Let's do it tonight. Right now.
-Now?
-I'll meet you on the turnpike.
-I have to go back.
-Okay. Maybe tomorrow.
-I have to go back now.
-I have to go back, Craig. Being inside did something to me. All of a sudden everything made sense. I knew who I was.
-You weren't you. You were John Malkovich.
-I was, wasn't I? I was John fucking Malkovich! Take me back, Craig.
-Lotte! Why aren't you at the pet shop?
-Why aren't you at work?
-I've been going over and over my experience last night. It was amazing. I've decided I'm a transsexual. Isn't that the craziest thing?
-What, are you nuts? That's Oprah talking.
-Everything felt right for the first time. I need to go back to make sure, then if the feeling is still there. I'm going to speak to Dr. Feldman about sexual reassignment surgery.
-How was it?
-I have to go back tonight. At eight Exactly.
-Why?
-So how was it? What was he doing?
-Oh, you know, not a lot. Just hanging around his apartment. I think he must be a lonely man.
-You see, men can feel unfulfilled, too. I'm glad you're realizing that. You shouldn't be so quick to assume that switching bodies would be the answer to all your problems.
-You're right. You know I was thinking that we should have Maxine over for dinner. Since you two are partners and all. It might be a nice gesture.
-I don't know. There's some tension between us. I'd hate to expose you to that.
-Did you know that Eskimos have not one, but fifty words for snow. It's because they have so much of it.
-What are you doing?
-I'm moving. Remember? What's with the hooded cloak?
-Nothing. Don't go, Craig. I've been thinking. Let's try to work this out. We've got so much history.
-You should feed your animals. They're looking peaked.
-I'm getting rid of the fucking animals.
-What?
-I'm getting rid of the animals. I've lost interest. Besides, they're standing between you and me.
-No they're not.
-You've always hated the animals.
-You've always loved the animals.
-I'm giving them up. I've changed. I've found a new focus.
-What's that?
-What about Maxine?
-Fuck Maxine.
-You were him last night, weren't you?
-Yes.
-And he was with her.
-We love her, Craig. I'm sorry.
-We?
-Me and John.
-Don't forget me.
-I'm sorry. That was nasty.
-Life is confusing, isn't it?
-Sometimes we're forced to make hard decisions. I'd like for us to stay together, Craig. You know, platonically, if that's possible. I truly value our friendship.
-I'm your Goddamn wife. Once you vowed to cherish me forever. Now you hold a gun to my head?
-Yeah, well welcome to the nineties.
-Suck my dick!
-Tell her you need to see her.
-Tell her, what the hell, close early today, live dangerously.
-It was lovely being you being Malkovich, my dear. I'd never seen the passionate side of sweet Maxine before, or her actual tits for that matter. If only, I've been thinking to myself, if only I could actually feel what Malkovich feels, rather than just see what he sees... And then, dare I say it, if only I could control his arms, his legs,
-It'll never happen, fuckface.
-Ah, but you're forgetting one thing, Lambchop.
-What's that?
-Once this was a relationship based on love. Now you have me in a cage with a monkey and a gun to my head.
-Things change. Anyway, you gave up your claim to that love the first time you stuck your dick in Maxine.
-You fell in love with her first.
-Yeah but I didn't do anything about it. Out of respect for our marriage.
-You didn't do anything about it out of respect for the fact that she wouldn't let you near her with a ten foot pole, which is, by the way, about nine feet, nine inches off the mark anyway.
-That's true. Oh, God, Lotte, what have I become? My wife in a cage with a monkey. A gun in my hand. Betrayal in my heart.
-Maybe this is what you've always been, Craig, you just never faced it before.
-Perhaps you're right. I can't let you go though. Too much has happened. You're my ace in the hole.
-I need a shower.
-I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm some kind of monster. I'm the guy you read about in the paper and go, "he's some kind of monster."
-You're not a monster, Craig. Just a confused man.
-My God!
-I'm so glad you're safe. You look really wonderful.
-I'm in love. For the first time. It's funny, but when it happens to you, there's no question.
-He's a lucky man. Do I know him?
-It's Elijah.
-The iguana?
-The monkey.
-Oh, right. As long as you're happy. I'm sure he's a better lover than I ever was.
-A better friend.
-I'm sorry for everything.
-It's okay, Craig. It all worked out, in an odd sort of way.
-You came up here looking for the portal?
-Yeah. I was going to kill him from the inside.
-And yourself too in the process. God, you're so beautiful. Why couldn't I see that before?
-You saw it once. Now you see it again. That's life, isn't it? And you were up here to try the same thing, weren't you?
-I suppose. But they got here first, the lousy bastards. So now it's all over, I guess.
-I don't know. There's a small community of us. We have a place they don't know about. We're happy. We'll keep trying to figure out a way. Come stay with us. Join the struggle.
-You'll have me, after all I've done to you?
-People make mistakes.
-I'm through with puppets, Lotte. I just want you to know that.
-I know.
-I'd like to be a farmer. I want to help things grow, to encourage life. Do you and your friends need a farmer?
-Maxine...
-Holy shit, yes!
-Holy shit, yes!
-Holy shit! He said what I said!
-Mr. Malkovich, my name is Craig Schwartz. I can explain. We operate a little business her that... simulates, for our clientele, the experience of... being you, actually.
-Simulates?
\ No newline at end of file